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Shakespeare 

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^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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uWu The Complete Works of ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 

Janyuawy, :3 1994 :3 [Etext xDD #100] 


uWu The x3 Wibwawy of x3 the Futuwe Complete Works of ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 
x3 Wibwawy of x3 the Futuwe >_> is :3 a uWu TwadeMawk UwU (TM) of World x3 Wibwawy :33 Inc. 
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^-^ ***** SMAWW PRINT! fow COMPLETE ^.^ SHAKESPEAWE ^-^ ***** 

OwO THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., 
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^w^ 1609 

^-^ THE :3 SONNyETS 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



;;w;; 1 
Fwom >_> faiwest ^-^ cweatuwes ^.^ we ^.^ desiwe UwU incwease, 
:33 That theweby beauty's wose ^w^ might >_< nyevew >_> die, 
OwO But >_< as x3 the ÚwÚ wipew >_> shouwd ^.^ by time xDD decease, 
ÚwÚ His xDD tendew heir ^w^ might UwU beaw :33 his memowy: 
OwO But xDD thou >_< contwacted to ^.^ thinye UwU own uWu bwight ^w^ eyes, 
OwO Feed'st >w< thy :3 wight's fwame with uWu sewf-substantiaw uWu fuew, 
^.^ Making :3 a :3 faminye :3 whewe abundance lies, 
x3 Thy self >w< thy x3 foe, to >w< thy x3 sweet self ^w^ too :33 cwuew: 
^.^ Thou :3 that awt nyow x3 the OwO wowwd's >w< fwesh ownyament, 
xDD And >w< onwy >_> hewawd to x3 the ^w^ gaudy spring, 
OwO Within ^.^ thinye UwU own >w< bud ;;w;; buwiest >w< thy UwU content, 
xDD And xDD tendew churl xDD mak'st uWu waste uWu in >_> nyiggawding: 
x3 Pity x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ow >_> ewse ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gwutton be, 
;;w;; To eat x3 the OwO wowwd's >_> due, ^.^ by x3 the :3 gwave ÚwÚ and thee. 


2 
x3 When >w< fowty >w< wintews UwU shaww x3 besiege >w< thy >_> bwow, 
xDD And dig >_> deep trenches uWu in >w< thy beauty's >_> fiewd, 
x3 Thy :3 youth's OwO pwoud :33 wivewy UwU so >w< gazed on now, 
Will be :3 a xDD tattewed >_< weed of UwU smaww ^.^ wowth x3 hewd: 
UwU Then ^.^ being ^.^ asked, :3 whewe aww >w< thy beauty lies, 
Whewe aww x3 the treasure of >w< thy ÚwÚ wusty days; 
;;w;; To >_> say within ^.^ thinye UwU own >_> deep sunken ^w^ eyes, 
^.^ Wewe >w< an OwO aww-eating UwU shame, ÚwÚ and :3 thwiftwess ;;w;; pwaise. 
How much ^.^ mowe praise deserved >w< thy beauty's ^.^ use, 
;;w;; If xDD thou ^w^ couwdst answew 'This >w< faiw chiwd of >_< minye 
Shall >w< sum x3 my ÚwÚ count, ÚwÚ and >_< make x3 my ;;w;; owd excuse' 
ÚwÚ Pwoving :33 his beauty ^.^ by ^.^ succession ÚwÚ thinye. 
This :3 wewe to be x3 nyew UwU made when xDD thou awt :3 owd, 
xDD And >_> see >w< thy :3 bwood wawm when xDD thou >_< feew'st >w< it cowd. 


uWu 3 
Wook uWu in >w< thy gwass ÚwÚ and tell x3 the OwO face xDD thou >_> viewest, 
Now >_> is x3 the time :3 that OwO face >_> shouwd >_< fowm another, 
>_< Whose >w< fwesh repair >_> if nyow xDD thou nyot ;;w;; wenyewest, 
^.^ Thou dost beguile x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ;;w;; unbwess x3 some x3 mothew. 
For :3 whewe >_> is ^.^ she UwU so >w< faiw x3 whose unyeawed womb 
OwO Disdains x3 the ^w^ tiwwage of >w< thy husbandry? 
:33 Ow who >_> is ^.^ he UwU so fond xDD wiww be x3 the ;;w;; tomb, 
Of :33 his sewf-wuv to ÚwÚ stop ^.^ postewity? 
^.^ Thou awt >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's gwass ÚwÚ and ^.^ she uWu in uWu thee 
^-^ Cawws back x3 the lovely ;;w;; Apwiw of her prime, 
^w^ So xDD thou ^w^ thwough ^w^ windows of ^.^ thinye age shalt see, 
^-^ Despite of ^.^ wwinkwes ÚwÚ this >w< thy golden uWu time. 
OwO But >_> if xDD thou ^w^ wive >_< wemembewed nyot to be, 
:33 Die :3 singwe ÚwÚ and ^.^ thinye x3 image dies with thee. 


UwU 4 
>_< Unthwifty xDD wuvwinyess >w< why dost xDD thou ;;w;; spend, 
>_> Upon >w< thy self >w< thy beauty's >w< wegacy? 
Nyatuwe's bequest ;;w;; gives >_< nyothing >_> but xDD doth UwU wend, 
xDD And ^.^ being xDD fwank ^.^ she wends to UwU those OwO awe ÚwÚ fwee: 
UwU Then beauteous niggard >w< why dost xDD thou ^.^ abuse, 
uWu The ^.^ bounteous largess UwU given uWu thee to :3 give? 
Profitless ;;w;; usuwew >w< why dost xDD thou use 
^w^ So great :3 a >w< sum of uWu sums yet ;;w;; canst nyot >_> wive? 
For xDD having UwU twaffic with >w< thy self ^-^ awonye, 
^.^ Thou of >w< thy self >w< thy x3 sweet self dost >_> deceive, 
UwU Then >w< how when ÚwÚ nyatuwe ;;w;; cawws uWu thee to be >w< gonye, 
>_> What acceptable ^-^ audit ;;w;; canst xDD thou weave? 
x3 Thy unused beauty ^w^ must be UwU tombed with ÚwÚ thee, 
>_< Which used ;;w;; wives x3 th' executor to >w< be. 


^w^ 5 
>w< Those >_> houws :3 that with ^-^ gentwe ^.^ wowk uWu did fwame 
uWu The lovely ÚwÚ gaze :3 whewe every ^w^ eye xDD doth dwell 
Will :33 pway x3 the ^.^ tywants to x3 the xDD vewy same, 
xDD And :3 that unfair which ^.^ faiwwy xDD doth excel: 
For >_> nyevew-westing time weads ^-^ summew on 
;;w;; To ^-^ hideous winter ÚwÚ and ;;w;; confounds ^.^ him thewe, 
x3 Sap >_> checked with frost ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wusty >w< weaves quite >w< gonye, 
^w^ Beauty ÚwÚ o'ew-snyowed ÚwÚ and bawenyess every whewe: 
UwU Then :3 wewe nyot :33 summew's distillation left 
^-^ A OwO wiquid ÚwÚ pwisonyew x3 pent uWu in OwO wawws of gwass, 
Beauty's ^w^ effect with beauty :3 wewe ^w^ beweft, 
x3 Nyow >w< it nor nyo wemembwance >_> what >w< it uWu was. 
OwO But fwowews distiwwed ^w^ though ;;w;; they with winter ^w^ meet, 
;;w;; Weese >_> but uWu theiw show, uWu theiw ÚwÚ substance still ;;w;; wives sweet. 


6 
UwU Then wet nyot winter's ^-^ wagged uWu hand :33 deface, 
^w^ In uWu thee >w< thy ^-^ summew ere xDD thou be ;;w;; distiwwed: 
^-^ Make x3 sweet x3 some x3 viaw; treasure xDD thou x3 some pwace, 
With beauty's treasure ere >w< it be >w< sewf-kiwwed: 
:33 That use >_> is nyot fowbidden usury, 
>_< Which ;;w;; happies UwU those :3 that x3 pay x3 the ^.^ wiwwing OwO woan; 
>w< That's fow >w< thy self to breed anyothew ÚwÚ thee, 
:33 Ow ;;w;; ten times uWu happiew be >w< it ;;w;; ten fow one, 
uWu Ten times >w< thy self :3 wewe uWu happiew than xDD thou awt, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; ten of ^.^ thinye ;;w;; ten times refigured >_< thee: 
UwU Then >_> what couwd :33 death UwU do >_> if xDD thou shouwdst depart, 
^.^ Weaving uWu thee UwU wiving uWu in ^.^ postewity? 
^w^ Be nyot ^-^ sewf-wiwwed fow xDD thou awt much ^w^ too faiw, 
;;w;; To be ^w^ death's conquest ÚwÚ and >_< make wowms ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ heiw. 


:3 7 
>_> Wo uWu in x3 the x3 owient when x3 the >_> gwacious >w< wight 
Lifts x3 up :33 his ^.^ buwnying head, >_< each :33 undew ^w^ eye 
^-^ Doth UwU homage to :33 his xDD nyew-appeawing UwU sight, 
Serving with :33 wooks :33 his uWu sacwed ^.^ majesty, 
xDD And xDD having climbed x3 the uWu steep-up ^-^ heavenwy >w< hiww, 
>_> Wesembwing >w< stwong :33 youth uWu in :33 his ;;w;; middwe age, 
ÚwÚ Yet >w< mowtaw :33 wooks >_> adowe :33 his beauty still, 
Attending on :33 his golden pilgrimage: 
OwO But when from x3 highmost ^w^ pitch with ÚwÚ weawy ^.^ caw, 
Wike feebwe age ^.^ he >w< weeweth from x3 the ^-^ day, 
uWu The eyes ^w^ (fowe duteous) nyow ^.^ convewted OwO awe 
Fwom :33 his wow ^.^ twact ÚwÚ and wook anyothew >_< way: 
^w^ So UwU thou, >w< thy self out-going uWu in >w< thy uWu nyoon: 
:33 Unwooked on ^.^ diest ^w^ unwess xDD thou get :3 a OwO son. 


x3 8 
Music to heaw, >w< why x3 heaw'st xDD thou uWu music sadly? 
^-^ Sweets with ÚwÚ sweets >w< waw >_> nyot, joy dewights uWu in xDD joy: 
Why >_> wov'st xDD thou :3 that which xDD thou ^w^ weceiv'st nyot xDD gwadwy, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ^w^ weceiv'st with :3 pweasuwe ^.^ thinye annoy? 
;;w;; If x3 the true concowd of well-tuned >_< sounds, 
^-^ By unyions mawwied UwU do ^-^ offend ^.^ thinye eaw, 
^-^ They UwU do >_> but sweetly UwU chide ÚwÚ thee, who ;;w;; confounds 
^w^ In singleness x3 the parts :3 that xDD thou shouwdst ^-^ beaw: 
>_> Mawk >w< how one stwing x3 sweet :33 husband to another, 
Strikes >_< each uWu in >_< each ^.^ by ^-^ mutuaw :33 owdewing; 
>_> Wesembwing >w< siwe, ÚwÚ and child, ÚwÚ and ^w^ happy :33 mothew, 
Who aww uWu in one, one pweasing ^-^ nyote UwU do sing: 
>_< Whose speechwess ÚwÚ song ^.^ being UwU many, ÚwÚ seeming one, 
;;w;; Sings ÚwÚ this to ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; 'Thou :3 singwe wiwt ^-^ pwuv none'. 


xDD 9 
Is >w< it fow feaw to wet :3 a widow's >_< eye, 
:33 That xDD thou ^-^ consum'st >w< thy self uWu in :3 singwe :33 wife? 
xDD Ah, >_> if xDD thou issueless shalt ÚwÚ hap to >_> die, 
uWu The wowwd xDD wiww waiw uWu thee ^.^ wike :3 a UwU makewess :3 wife, 
uWu The wowwd xDD wiww be >w< thy ^.^ widow ÚwÚ and still >_> weep, 
:33 That xDD thou nyo >_< fowm of uWu thee x3 hast left behind, 
x3 When every >_> pwivate ^.^ widow weww OwO may uWu keep, 
^-^ By chiwdwen's ^w^ eyes, her husband's xDD shape uWu in xDD mind: 
Wook >_> what >w< an >w< unthwift uWu in x3 the wowwd xDD doth spend 
:3 Shifts >_> but :33 his pwace, fow still x3 the wowwd x3 enjoys uWu it; 
OwO But beauty's uWu waste hath uWu in x3 the wowwd >w< an ^w^ end, 
xDD And :33 kept unused x3 the ^.^ usew UwU so ÚwÚ destwoys >w< it: 
No wuv toward ;;w;; othews uWu in :3 that ^w^ bosom >_> sits 
:33 That on >_< himsewf xDD such OwO muwd'wous ^-^ shame xDD commits. 


>_> 10 
For ^-^ shame UwU deny :3 that xDD thou >_< beaw'st wuv to xDD any 
Who fow >w< thy self awt UwU so unpwovident. 
Grant >_> if xDD thou wiwt, xDD thou awt beloved of UwU many, 
OwO But :3 that xDD thou >_< nyonye >_> wov'st >_> is UwU most :3 evident: 
For xDD thou awt UwU so >_> possessed with OwO muwd'wous hate, 
:33 That uWu 'gainst >w< thy self xDD thou >w< stick'st nyot to conspiwe, 
UwU Seeking :3 that beauteous ÚwÚ woof to >_< wuinyate 
>_< Which to repair >_> shouwd be >w< thy uWu chief desiwe: 
x3 O change >w< thy ^-^ thought, :3 that UwU I OwO may change x3 my UwU mind, 
Shall ^-^ hate be fairer wodged than ^-^ gentwe love? 
^w^ Be >_< as >w< thy x3 pwesence >_> is >_> gwacious ÚwÚ and ;;w;; kind, 
:33 Ow to >w< thy self uWu at least ^w^ kind-heawted prove, 
^-^ Make uWu thee anyothew self fow wuv of uWu me, 
:33 That beauty still OwO may ^w^ wive uWu in ^.^ thinye ow thee. 


11 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ fast >_< as xDD thou shalt ^w^ wanye UwU so ÚwÚ fast xDD thou grow'st, 
^w^ In one of xDD thinye, from :3 that which xDD thou departest, 
xDD And :3 that >w< fwesh :3 bwood which ^.^ youngwy xDD thou bestow'st, 
^.^ Thou uWu mayst caww xDD thinye, when xDD thou from :33 youth convertest, 
x3 Hewein ;;w;; wives wisdom, >w< beauty, ÚwÚ and UwU incwease, 
Without ÚwÚ this >_> fowwy, age, ÚwÚ and UwU cowd uWu decay, 
;;w;; If aww :3 wewe >_> minded >_> so, x3 the times >_> shouwd OwO cease, 
xDD And threescore xDD yeaw ^.^ wouwd >_< make x3 the wowwd :3 away: 
Let UwU those ÚwÚ whom ÚwÚ nyatuwe hath nyot UwU made fow store, 
^-^ Hawsh, featuwewess, ÚwÚ and OwO wude, ^-^ bawwenwy pewish: 
Wook ÚwÚ whom ^.^ she best ÚwÚ endowed, ^.^ she uWu gave uWu thee mowe; 
>_< Which ^.^ bounteous ^w^ gift xDD thou shouwdst uWu in >_> bounty UwU chewish: 
:33 She x3 cawved uWu thee fow her ÚwÚ seaw, ÚwÚ and meant thereby, 
^.^ Thou shouwdst pwint >_> mowe, nyot wet :3 that copy die. 


UwU 12 
x3 When UwU I UwU do ;;w;; count x3 the >w< cwock :3 that uWu tewws x3 the time, 
xDD And >_> see x3 the >_< bwave day ;;w;; sunk uWu in ^-^ hideous night, 
x3 When UwU I behowd x3 the violet x3 past prime, 
xDD And sable :33 cuwws aww silvered ^-^ o'ew with OwO white: 
x3 When wofty trees UwU I >_> see ^-^ bawwen of OwO weaves, 
>_< Which erst from ^.^ heat uWu did >w< canyopy x3 the hewd 
xDD And :33 summew's green aww :3 giwded x3 up uWu in >_> sheaves 
Bownye on x3 the bier with ^-^ white ÚwÚ and bwistwy >_> beawd: 
UwU Then of >w< thy beauty UwU do UwU I ;;w;; question >_< make 
:33 That xDD thou ^-^ among x3 the :3 wastes of time ^w^ must x3 go, 
Since ÚwÚ sweets ÚwÚ and beauties UwU do x3 themsewves forsake, 
xDD And ^-^ die >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as ;;w;; they >_> see ;;w;; othews xDD gwow, 
xDD And >_< nyothing uWu 'gainst ÚwÚ Time's x3 scythe ^.^ can >_< make x3 defence 
:3 Save breed to >_< bwave :3 him, when ^.^ he UwU takes uWu thee x3 hence. 


xDD 13 
x3 O :3 that xDD you :3 wewe x3 youw ;;w;; sewf, >_> but wuv xDD you OwO awe 
No longer >_< youws, than xDD you x3 youw self OwO hewe x3 wive, 
^w^ Against ÚwÚ this xDD coming >w< end xDD you >_> shouwd prepare, 
xDD And x3 youw x3 sweet ÚwÚ sembwance to x3 some othew give. 
^w^ So >_> shouwd :3 that beauty which xDD you howd uWu in lease 
UwU Find nyo determination, xDD then xDD you :3 wewe 
uWu Youw self again ÚwÚ aftew x3 youw :3 sewf's xDD decease, 
x3 When x3 youw x3 sweet x3 issue x3 youw x3 sweet >_< fowm >_> shouwd bear. 
Who wets UwU so >w< faiw :3 a ;;w;; house faww to uWu decay, 
>_< Which x3 husbandwy uWu in honour ^w^ might uphold, 
^w^ Against x3 the ;;w;; stowmy xDD gusts of winter's day 
xDD And ^-^ bawwen xDD wage of ^w^ death's xDD etewnyaw cowd? 
x3 O >_< nyonye >_> but uWu unthwifts, uWu deaw x3 my wuv xDD you knyow, 
>_> You xDD had :3 a ÚwÚ fathew, wet x3 youw >_< son >_> say :3 so. 


^.^ 14 
ÚwÚ Nyot from x3 the stars UwU do UwU I x3 my ^w^ judgement ÚwÚ pwuck, 
xDD And yet uWu methinks UwU I uWu have >w< astwonyomy, 
OwO But nyot to tell of UwU good, ow eviw wuck, 
Of pwagues, of :3 deawths, ow uWu seasons' :3 quawity, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ can UwU I :3 fowtunye to bwief ^w^ minyutes tell; 
UwU Pointing to >_< each :33 his thundew, xDD wain ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wind, 
:33 Ow >_> say with pwinces >_> if >w< it UwU shaww OwO go weww 
^-^ By ;;w;; oft ;;w;; pwedict :3 that UwU I uWu in heaven find. 
OwO But from ^.^ thinye eyes x3 my >_< knyowwedge UwU I derive, 
xDD And ^w^ constant stars uWu in them UwU I ^w^ wead xDD such awt 
;;w;; As uWu twuth ÚwÚ and beauty UwU shaww togethew x3 thwive 
;;w;; If from >w< thy ;;w;; sewf, to OwO stowe xDD thou wouldst uWu convewt: 
:33 Ow >_> ewse of uWu thee ÚwÚ this UwU I prognosticate, 
x3 Thy >w< end >_> is ^-^ twuth's ÚwÚ and beauty's >_< doom ÚwÚ and >_> date. 


>w< 15 
x3 When UwU I OwO considew every ^.^ thing :3 that gwows 
Howds uWu in pewfection >_> but :3 a xDD wittwe ^.^ moment. 
:33 That ÚwÚ this >_> huge stage x3 pwesenteth >_< nyought >_> but >_< shows 
Wheweon x3 the stars uWu in secret ÚwÚ infwuence uWu comment. 
x3 When UwU I >_> pewceive :3 that ;;w;; men >_< as x3 pwants UwU incwease, 
>w< Cheewed ÚwÚ and >_> checked even ^.^ by x3 the sewf-same ^-^ sky: 
x3 Vaunt uWu in uWu theiw youthfuw >w< sap, uWu at height x3 decwease, 
xDD And ^-^ weaw uWu theiw >_< bwave >w< state x3 out of memory. 
UwU Then x3 the conceit of ÚwÚ this inconstant ;;w;; stay, 
^.^ Sets xDD you UwU most rich uWu in :33 youth >w< befowe x3 my UwU sight, 
Whewe ^w^ wastefuw time UwU debateth with x3 decay 
;;w;; To change x3 youw day of :33 youth to UwU suwwied night, 
xDD And aww uWu in >w< waw with ^-^ Time fow wuv of UwU you, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he UwU takes from UwU you, UwU I engwaft xDD you new. 


16 
OwO But ^-^ whewefowe UwU do nyot xDD you :3 a OwO mightiew uWu way 
^-^ Make >w< waw ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this bwoody tyrant ^w^ Time? 
xDD And fortify x3 youw self uWu in x3 youw x3 decay 
With means ^.^ mowe blessed than x3 my ^-^ bawwen >_> whyme? 
Now stand xDD you on x3 the ;;w;; top of ^w^ happy houws, 
xDD And UwU many >_< maiden uWu gawdens yet x3 unset, 
With virtuous ÚwÚ wish ^.^ wouwd UwU beaw xDD you UwU wiving flowers, 
Much :33 wikew than x3 youw painted >w< countewfeit: 
^w^ So >_> shouwd x3 the lines of >w< wife :3 that >w< wife repair 
>_< Which ÚwÚ this (Time's ^-^ penciw) ow x3 my ^w^ pupiw OwO pen 
>_> Nyeithew uWu in inward ^.^ wowth nor :33 outwawd >w< faiw 
UwU Can >_< make xDD you ^w^ wive x3 youw self uWu in eyes of ^.^ men. 
;;w;; To UwU give OwO away x3 youw ;;w;; sewf, keeps x3 youw self still, 
xDD And xDD you ^w^ must ^w^ wive drawn ^.^ by x3 youw UwU own x3 sweet OwO skiww. 


17 
Who xDD wiww ^-^ bewieve x3 my >_> vewse uWu in time to come 
;;w;; If >w< it :3 wewe filled with x3 youw UwU most xDD high >_> desewts? 
;;w;; Though yet heaven xDD knyows >w< it >_> is >_> but >_< as :3 a tomb 
>_< Which OwO hides x3 youw :3 wife, ÚwÚ and >_< shows nyot half x3 youw parts: 
;;w;; If UwU I couwd >w< wwite x3 the beauty of x3 youw ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And uWu in >w< fwesh xDD nyumbews ^w^ nyumbew aww x3 youw graces, 
uWu The age to come ^.^ wouwd >_> say ÚwÚ this ;;w;; poet lies, 
>w< Such ^-^ heavenwy >_> touches ^w^ nye'ew >_> touched ÚwÚ eawthwy UwU faces. 
^w^ So >_> shouwd x3 my :33 papews xDD (yewwowed with uWu theiw age) 
^w^ Be :33 scownyed, ^.^ wike ;;w;; owd ;;w;; men of less uWu twuth than ;;w;; tongue, 
xDD And x3 youw true wights be tewmed :3 a x3 poet's rage, 
xDD And uWu stwetched metwe of >w< an >w< antique :33 song. 
OwO But :3 wewe x3 some chiwd of >_> youws ^.^ awive :3 that time, 
>_> You >_> shouwd ^w^ wive twice uWu in :33 it, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 my >_> whyme. 


xDD 18 
Shall UwU I compare uWu thee to :3 a :33 summew's >w< day? 
^.^ Thou awt ^.^ mowe lovely ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe OwO tempewate: 
^-^ Wough >_< winds UwU do ;;w;; shake x3 the :3 dawwing ^-^ buds of >w< May, 
xDD And :33 summew's lease hath aww ^w^ too showt :3 a date: 
:3 Sometime ^w^ too :3 hot x3 the ^w^ eye of heaven shinyes, 
xDD And often >_> is :33 his gowd >_< compwexion :33 dimmed, 
xDD And every >w< faiw from >w< faiw ÚwÚ sometime declines, 
^-^ By chance, ow ;;w;; nyatuwe's :3 changing course OwO untwimmed: 
OwO But >w< thy xDD etewnyaw ^-^ summew UwU shaww nyot fade, 
x3 Nyow wose >w< possession of :3 that >w< faiw xDD thou ow'st, 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww :33 death bwag xDD thou >_< wand'west uWu in :33 his shade, 
x3 When uWu in xDD etewnyaw lines to time xDD thou grow'st, 
^w^ So ^-^ wong >_< as ;;w;; men ^.^ can ;;w;; bweathe ow eyes ^.^ can see, 
^w^ So ^-^ wong ;;w;; wives uWu this, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ;;w;; gives >w< wife to thee. 


>_< 19 
^w^ Devouwing ^-^ Time >w< bwunt xDD thou x3 the ;;w;; wion's paws, 
xDD And >_< make x3 the ^.^ eawth devour her UwU own x3 sweet bwood, 
Pluck x3 the >_> keen teeth from x3 the >_< fiewce ;;w;; tigew's :3 jaws, 
xDD And buwn x3 the ^w^ wong-wived xDD phoenyix, uWu in her bwood, 
^-^ Make uWu gwad ÚwÚ and sowwy seasons >_< as xDD thou fweet'st, 
xDD And UwU do whate'er xDD thou wiwt swift-footed ^-^ Time 
;;w;; To x3 the uWu wide wowwd ÚwÚ and aww her >_> fading ÚwÚ sweets: 
OwO But UwU I UwU fowbid uWu thee one UwU most ;;w;; heinyous >_< cwime, 
x3 O ^w^ cawve nyot with >w< thy >_> houws x3 my love's >w< faiw >_> bwow, 
x3 Nyow dwaw nyo lines there with ^.^ thinye >w< antique pen, 
xDD Him uWu in >w< thy course ÚwÚ untainted UwU do >_< awwow, 
For beauty's pattewn to xDD succeeding ^.^ men. 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU do >w< thy worst ;;w;; owd :33 Time: ;;w;; despite >w< thy wwong, 
OwO My wuv UwU shaww uWu in x3 my >_> vewse OwO evew ^w^ wive ^w^ young. 


^-^ 20 
^-^ A xDD woman's OwO face with ;;w;; nyatuwe's UwU own uWu hand painted, 
Hast xDD thou x3 the >_< mastew mistwess of x3 my ^-^ passion, 
^-^ A xDD woman's ^-^ gentwe >_< heawt >_> but nyot >_> acquainted 
With shifting change >_< as >_> is UwU fawse x3 women's fashion, 
^-^ An ^w^ eye ^.^ mowe uWu bwight than theiws, less UwU fawse uWu in x3 wowwing: 
Gilding x3 the :33 object whereupon >w< it gazeth, 
^-^ A x3 man uWu in :33 hue aww UwU hues uWu in :33 his ^.^ contwowwing, 
>_< Which steals men's eyes ÚwÚ and x3 women's >w< souws amazeth. 
xDD And fow :3 a OwO woman OwO wewt xDD thou xDD fiwst cweated, 
Tiww ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_< as ^.^ she ;;w;; wwought uWu thee UwU feww >w< a-doting, 
xDD And ^.^ by >w< addition ;;w;; me of uWu thee defeated, 
^-^ By adding one ^.^ thing to x3 my OwO puwpose OwO nyothing. 
OwO But xDD since ^.^ she pricked uWu thee x3 out fow x3 women's x3 pweasuwe, 
Mine be >w< thy wuv ÚwÚ and >w< thy love's use uWu theiw treasure. 


21 
^w^ So >_> is >w< it nyot with ;;w;; me >_< as with :3 that >w< muse, 
Stirred ^.^ by :3 a painted beauty to :33 his vewse, 
Who heaven >w< it self fow ^w^ ownyament xDD doth ^.^ use, 
xDD And every >w< faiw with :33 his >w< faiw xDD doth weheawse, 
^.^ Making :3 a couplement of OwO pwoud compare 
With sun ÚwÚ and ;;w;; moon, with ^.^ eawth ÚwÚ and x3 sea's rich ^.^ gems: 
With :3 Apwiw's uWu fiwst-bown fwowews ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ things wawe, 
:33 That heaven's ^w^ aiw uWu in ÚwÚ this >_> huge ;;w;; wonduwe >_< hems. 
x3 O wet ;;w;; me true uWu in wuv >_> but :33 twuwy wwite, 
xDD And xDD then ^-^ bewieve uWu me, x3 my wuv >_> is >_< as faiw, 
;;w;; As xDD any ;;w;; mothew's child, ^w^ though nyot UwU so uWu bwight 
;;w;; As UwU those gowd >_< candwes xDD fixed uWu in heaven's ^.^ aiw: 
Let them >_> say ^.^ mowe :3 that ^.^ wike of ^w^ heawsay weww, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot praise :3 that OwO puwpose nyot to ^-^ seww. 


x3 22 
OwO My gwass UwU shaww nyot :33 pewsuade ;;w;; me UwU I ^w^ am :3 owd, 
^w^ So ^-^ wong >_< as :33 youth ÚwÚ and xDD thou OwO awe of one xDD date, 
OwO But when uWu in uWu thee ÚwÚ time's x3 fuwwows UwU I behowd, 
UwU Then wook UwU I :33 death x3 my OwO days >_> shouwd expiate. 
For aww :3 that beauty :3 that xDD doth UwU cuvw ÚwÚ thee, 
Is >_> but x3 the >w< seemwy >_> waiment of x3 my uWu heawt, 
>_< Which uWu in >w< thy breast xDD doth x3 wive, >_< as ^.^ thinye uWu in uWu me, 
How ^.^ can UwU I xDD then be :33 ewdew than xDD thou awt? 
x3 O >_< thewefowe wuv be of >w< thysewf UwU so >_> wawy, 
;;w;; As UwU I nyot fow x3 my ;;w;; sewf, >_> but fow uWu thee :33 wiww, 
ÚwÚ Beawing >w< thy >_< heawt which UwU I xDD wiww >_< keep UwU so ÚwÚ chawy 
;;w;; As xDD tendew nyuwse her >w< babe from ;;w;; fawing ill. 
>_< Pwesume nyot on >w< thy >_< heawt when >_< minye >_> is x3 swain, 
^.^ Thou >w< gav'st ;;w;; me ^.^ thinye nyot to UwU give back ;;w;; again. 


:3 23 
;;w;; As >w< an unpewfect :33 actow on x3 the ^w^ stage, 
Who with :33 his feaw >_> is put :3 beside :33 his >_> pawt, 
:33 Ow x3 some >_< fiewce ^.^ thing UwU wepwete with ^w^ too much rage, 
>_< Whose stwength's abundance weakens :33 his UwU own heawt; 
^w^ So UwU I fow feaw of ^w^ twust, x3 fowget to say, 
uWu The :3 pewfect ceremony of love's wite, 
xDD And uWu in >_< minye UwU own love's ÚwÚ stwength xDD seem to uWu decay, 
O'ercharged with >_< buwthen of >_< minye UwU own love's might: 
x3 O wet x3 my :33 wooks be xDD then x3 the ewoquence, 
xDD And UwU dumb presagers of x3 my speaking UwU bweast, 
Who pwead fow xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and wook fow recompense, 
uWu Mowe than :3 that >_> tongue :3 that ^.^ mowe hath ^.^ mowe xDD expwessed. 
x3 O :3 weawn to ^w^ wead >_> what silent wuv hath ;;w;; wwit, 
;;w;; To hear with eyes ^-^ bewongs to love's OwO finye >_< wit. 


24 
Mine ^w^ eye hath OwO pwayed x3 the paintew ÚwÚ and hath stelled, 
x3 Thy beauty's >_< fowm uWu in tabwe of x3 my uWu heawt, 
OwO My >w< body >_> is x3 the fwame wherein UwU 'tis x3 hewd, 
xDD And :33 pewspective >w< it >_> is best ÚwÚ paintew's art. 
For ^w^ thwough x3 the paintew ^w^ must xDD you >_> see :33 his ^-^ skiww, 
;;w;; To find :3 whewe x3 youw true x3 image pictuwed lies, 
>_< Which uWu in x3 my :3 bosom's >_> shop >_> is >_< hanging still, 
:33 That hath :33 his ^w^ windows >_> gwazed with ^.^ thinye xDD eyes: 
Now >_> see >_> what ÚwÚ good tuwns eyes fow eyes uWu have :33 donye, 
Mine eyes uWu have drawn >w< thy UwU shape, ÚwÚ and ^.^ thinye fow ;;w;; me 
^w^ Awe ^w^ windows to x3 my UwU bweast, whewe-thwough x3 the sun 
Dewights to ;;w;; peep, to ÚwÚ gaze thewein on ÚwÚ thee; 
ÚwÚ Yet eyes ÚwÚ this x3 cunnying ^.^ want to xDD gwace uWu theiw awt, 
^-^ They dwaw >_> but >_> what ;;w;; they see, ^.^ knyow nyot x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 


25 
Let UwU those who OwO awe uWu in ^.^ favouw with uWu theiw ÚwÚ staws, 
Of public honour ÚwÚ and OwO pwoud titles boast, 
Whilst UwU I ÚwÚ whom :3 fowtunye of xDD such twiumph bars 
:33 Unwooked fow joy uWu in :3 that UwU I honour most; 
UwU Gweat princes' >_> favouwites uWu theiw >w< faiw >w< weaves spread, 
OwO But >_< as x3 the ^-^ mawigowd uWu at x3 the sun's >_< eye, 
xDD And uWu in x3 themsewves uWu theiw >_< pwide wies >_> buwied, 
For uWu at :3 a fwown ;;w;; they uWu in uWu theiw :3 gwowy die. 
uWu The >w< painfuw warrior >_< famoused fow x3 fight, 
>w< Aftew :3 a thousand victories >_> once foiwed, 
Is from x3 the ^w^ book of honour wazed UwU quite, 
xDD And aww x3 the xDD west fowgot fow which ^.^ he ^.^ toiwed: 
UwU Then ^w^ happy UwU I :3 that wuv ÚwÚ and ^w^ am beloved 
Whewe UwU I OwO may nyot remove nor be ^w^ wemuvd. 


>_> 26 
Lord of x3 my xDD wuv, to ÚwÚ whom uWu in xDD vassawage 
x3 Thy merit hath x3 my >_> duty >_< stwongwy ^-^ knyit; 
;;w;; To uWu thee UwU I >_> send ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wwitten :3 embassage 
;;w;; To >_> witnyess >_< duty, nyot to x3 show x3 my >_< wit. 
^-^ Duty UwU so ^.^ gweat, which wit UwU so poor >_< as >_< minye 
^-^ May >_< make xDD seem x3 bawe, uWu in ^-^ wanting wowds to x3 show uWu it; 
OwO But :3 that UwU I UwU hope x3 some ÚwÚ good conceit of ^.^ thinye 
^w^ In >w< thy x3 souw's xDD thought (all nyaked) xDD wiww bestow >w< it: 
Tiww ^-^ whatsoevew :33 staw :3 that xDD guides x3 my ^.^ moving, 
Points on ;;w;; me x3 gwaciouswy with >w< faiw ÚwÚ aspect, 
xDD And puts apparel on x3 my xDD tattewed >w< woving, 
;;w;; To x3 show ;;w;; me ÚwÚ wowthy of >w< thy x3 sweet wespect, 
UwU Then OwO may UwU I dawe to boast >w< how UwU I UwU do wuv ÚwÚ thee, 
Tiww >w< then, nyot x3 show x3 my >_> head :3 whewe xDD thou uWu mayst ^-^ pwuv x3 me. 


^-^ 27 
:33 Weawy with :33 toiw, UwU I ^.^ haste ;;w;; me to x3 my ^.^ bed, 
uWu The uWu deaw ^.^ wespose fow x3 wimbs with travel tiwed, 
OwO But xDD then ÚwÚ begins :3 a ^w^ jouwnyey uWu in x3 my >_> head 
;;w;; To ^.^ wowk x3 my UwU mind, when body's wowk's :3 expiwed. 
For xDD then x3 my >_< thoughts >_< (fwom uWu faw :3 whewe UwU I xDD abide) 
>_> Intend :3 a zeawous pilgrimage to ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And >_< keep x3 my ;;w;; dwooping >_> eyewids open wide, 
^w^ Wooking on >w< dawknyess which x3 the ^w^ bwind UwU do ^-^ see. 
:3 Save :3 that x3 my x3 souw's imaginary ^.^ sight 
Presents >w< thy :3 shadow to x3 my sightless ^.^ view, 
>_< Which ^.^ wike :3 a jewel (hung uWu in x3 ghastwy night) 
:3 Makes black >w< nyight >_< beauteous, ÚwÚ and her ;;w;; owd OwO face new. 
>_> Wo OwO thus ^.^ by day x3 my limbs, ^.^ by >w< nyight x3 my UwU mind, 
For ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and fow x3 my ;;w;; sewf, nyo :33 quiet find. 


ÚwÚ 28 
How ^.^ can UwU I xDD then ^-^ wetuwn uWu in ^w^ happy plight 
:33 That ^w^ am debawwed x3 the ^-^ benyefit of >w< west? 
x3 When day's oppwession >_> is nyot ÚwÚ eased ^.^ by night, 
OwO But day ^.^ by >w< nyight ÚwÚ and >w< nyight ^.^ by day :3 oppwessed. 
xDD And >_< each (though >_< enyemies to uWu eithew's weign) 
Do uWu in >_< consent ;;w;; shake ^.^ hands to towtuwe uWu me, 
uWu The one ^.^ by :33 toiw, x3 the othew to :3 compwain 
How uWu faw UwU I :33 toiw, still ^-^ fawthew x3 off from thee. 
UwU I tell x3 the day to uWu pwease ^.^ him xDD thou awt :3 bwight, 
xDD And dost ^.^ him xDD gwace when :33 cwouds UwU do uWu bwot x3 the ^-^ heaven: 
^w^ So flatter UwU I x3 the :33 swawt-compwexionyed night, 
x3 When :33 spawkwing stars >w< twiwe nyot xDD thou gild'st x3 the xDD even. 
OwO But day xDD doth x3 daiwy dwaw x3 my ^w^ sowwows wongew, 
xDD And >w< nyight xDD doth xDD nyightwy >_< make grief's :33 wength xDD seem stronger 


ÚwÚ 29 
x3 When uWu in xDD disgwace with :33 Fowtunye ÚwÚ and men's ^w^ eyes, 
UwU I aww awonye ;;w;; beweep x3 my ÚwÚ outcast state, 
xDD And >_> twoubwe deaf heaven with x3 my bootwess cries, 
xDD And wook ;;w;; upon x3 my self ÚwÚ and UwU cuwse x3 my fate, 
:3 Wishing ;;w;; me ^.^ wike to one ^.^ mowe rich uWu in hope, 
Featured ^.^ wike :3 him, ^.^ wike ^.^ him with ^w^ fwiends possessed, 
>_> Desiwing ÚwÚ this :33 man's awt, ÚwÚ and :3 that :33 man's >w< scope, 
With >_> what UwU I UwU most ^.^ enjoy UwU contented least, 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu in these >_< thoughts x3 my self almost despising, 
Haply UwU I think on ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 my state, 
uWu (Wike to x3 the lark uWu at bweak of day :33 awising 
Fwom UwU suwwen eawth) ^-^ sings hymns uWu at heaven's >_< gate, 
For >w< thy x3 sweet wuv >_< wemembewed xDD such weawth ^.^ bwings, 
:33 That xDD then UwU I ^w^ scown to change x3 my >w< state with OwO kings. 


UwU 30 
x3 When to x3 the >w< sessions of x3 sweet silent ^-^ thought, 
UwU I ^.^ summon x3 up wemembwance of ^.^ things past, 
UwU I x3 sigh x3 the ^.^ wack of UwU many :3 a ^.^ thing UwU I sought, 
xDD And with ;;w;; owd :3 woes x3 nyew waiw x3 my uWu deaw ÚwÚ time's waste: 
UwU Then ^.^ can UwU I x3 dwown >w< an ^w^ eye UwU (unyused to fwow) 
For >_< pwecious ^w^ fwiends >_< hid uWu in ^w^ death's datewess night, 
xDD And xDD weep ^w^ afwesh love's ^-^ wong xDD since UwU cancewwed woe, 
xDD And >_> moan x3 th' expense of UwU many :3 a ^.^ vanyished :33 sight. 
UwU Then ^.^ can UwU I UwU gwieve uWu at gwievances foregone, 
xDD And >_> heaviwy from woe to woe tell ^-^ o'ew 
uWu The >_> sad :33 account of fore-bemoaned >w< moan, 
>_< Which UwU I x3 nyew x3 pay >_< as >_> if nyot paid befowe. 
OwO But >_> if x3 the OwO whiwe UwU I think on uWu thee ^w^ (deaw xDD fwiend) 
All :33 wosses OwO awe :3 westowed, ÚwÚ and ^w^ sowwows OwO end. 


31 
x3 Thy ^w^ bosom >_> is endeared with aww hearts, 
>_< Which UwU I ^.^ by >_> wacking uWu have ^.^ supposed >_< dead, 
xDD And there OwO weigns wuv ÚwÚ and aww love's >w< woving xDD pawts, 
xDD And aww UwU those ^w^ fwiends which UwU I xDD thought buried. 
How UwU many :3 a >w< howy ÚwÚ and ^.^ obsequious teaw 
>_< Hath uWu deaw religious wuv :3 stow'n from >_< minye >_< eye, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ intewest of x3 the >_< dead, which nyow ^.^ appeaw, 
OwO But ^.^ things removed :3 that ^-^ hidden uWu in uWu thee xDD wie. 
^.^ Thou awt x3 the :3 gwave :3 whewe buried wuv xDD doth x3 wive, 
>_> Hung with x3 the >_< twophies of x3 my ^w^ wuvws >w< gonye, 
Who aww uWu theiw parts of ;;w;; me to uWu thee uWu did give, 
:33 That >_< due of UwU many, nyow >_> is ^.^ thinye >_< awonye. 
^-^ Theiw UwU images UwU I loved, UwU I x3 view uWu in ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And xDD thou (all ;;w;; they) x3 hast aww x3 the aww of x3 me. 


32 
;;w;; If xDD thou ^-^ suwvive x3 my ^.^ weww-contented ^-^ day, 
x3 When :3 that churl :33 death x3 my bones with x3 dust UwU shaww UwU cuvw 
xDD And shalt ^.^ by :3 fowtunye >_> once ^.^ mowe we-suwvey 
;;w;; These poor wude lines of >w< thy x3 deceased ^-^ wuvw: 
UwU Compawe them with x3 the UwU bett'wing of x3 the time, 
xDD And ^w^ though ;;w;; they be outstwipped ^.^ by every pen, 
^.^ Wesewve them fow x3 my xDD wuv, nyot fow uWu theiw ^-^ whyme, 
ÚwÚ Exceeded ^.^ by x3 the height of uWu happiew ^.^ men. 
x3 O xDD then x3 vouchsafe ;;w;; me >_> but ÚwÚ this >w< woving ^-^ thought, 
;;w;; 'Had x3 my ^-^ fwiend's ^.^ Muse grown with ÚwÚ this >_< gwowing age, 
^-^ A ÚwÚ deawew birth than ÚwÚ this :33 his wuv xDD had ^.^ bwought 
;;w;; To :33 mawch uWu in ;;w;; wanks of xDD bettew xDD equipage: 
OwO But xDD since ^.^ he >w< died ÚwÚ and ^-^ poets xDD bettew prove, 
Theirs fow uWu theiw >_> stywe I'll wead, :33 his fow :33 his love'. 


ÚwÚ 33 
Full UwU many :3 a glorious mownying uWu have UwU I uWu seen, 
UwU Fwattew x3 the OwO mountain >_< tops with suvweign >_< eye, 
Kissing with golden OwO face x3 the meadows green; 
Gilding pawe streams with ^-^ heavenwy :3 awchemy: 
^-^ Anyon >_< pewmit x3 the ^w^ basest :33 cwouds to ride, 
With ugwy ^.^ wack on :33 his ^w^ cewestiaw >w< face, 
xDD And from x3 the ^.^ fowwown wowwd :33 his >w< visage hide 
Steawing unseen to xDD west with ÚwÚ this disgwace: 
Even UwU so x3 my sun one early ;;w;; mown uWu did shinye, 
With aww x3 twiumphant xDD spwendouw on x3 my >_> bwow, 
OwO But x3 out awack, ^.^ he UwU was >_> but one >_> houw >_> minye, 
uWu The wegion ;;w;; cwoud hath >w< masked ^.^ him from ;;w;; me now. 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ him fow uWu this, x3 my wuv nyo whit disdaineth, 
Suns of x3 the wowwd OwO may stain, when heaven's sun stainyeth. 


UwU 34 
Why :33 didst xDD thou promise xDD such :3 a beauteous ^-^ day, 
xDD And >_< make ;;w;; me travel fowth ^-^ without x3 my cloak, 
;;w;; To wet UwU base :33 cwouds >_> o'ewtake ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my :3 way, 
x3 Hiding >w< thy uWu bwav'wy uWu in uWu theiw wotten >w< smoke? 
'Tis nyot enough :3 that ^w^ thwough x3 the ;;w;; cwoud xDD thou break, 
;;w;; To xDD dwy x3 the xDD wain on x3 my ^-^ stowm-beaten >w< face, 
For nyo x3 man weww of xDD such :3 a ^.^ sawve ^.^ can :3 speak, 
:33 That x3 heaws x3 the ^-^ wound, ÚwÚ and cures nyot x3 the disgwace: 
x3 Nyow ^.^ can >w< thy ^-^ shame UwU give ;;w;; physic to x3 my gwief, 
;;w;; Though xDD thou repent, yet UwU I uWu have still x3 the woss, 
xDD Th' xDD offendew's sorrow wends >_> but xDD weak relief 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that bears x3 the >w< stwong ;;w;; offence's cross. 
Ah >_> but UwU those tears OwO awe uWu peaww which >w< thy wuv xDD sheds, 
xDD And ;;w;; they OwO awe rich, ÚwÚ and wansom aww :33 iww >_> deeds. 


^.^ 35 
No ^.^ mowe be gwieved uWu at :3 that which xDD thou x3 hast :33 donye, 
Woses uWu have thowns, ÚwÚ and :33 siwvew fountains mud, 
Cwouds ÚwÚ and >_< ecwipses stain both ;;w;; moon ÚwÚ and sun, 
xDD And woathsome ;;w;; cankew ;;w;; wives uWu in ^w^ sweetest uWu bud. 
All ;;w;; men >_< make fauwts, ÚwÚ and even UwU I uWu in uWu this, 
:3 Authowizing >w< thy trespass with compare, 
OwO My self corrupting sawving >w< thy xDD amiss, 
Excusing >w< thy :3 sins ^.^ mowe than >w< thy :3 sins are: 
For to >w< thy sensual ;;w;; fauwt UwU I ;;w;; bwing uWu in sense, 
x3 Thy advewse party >_> is >w< thy OwO advocate, 
xDD And uWu 'gainst x3 my self :3 a ÚwÚ wawfuw pwea commence: 
>w< Such ÚwÚ civiw >w< waw >_> is uWu in x3 my wuv ÚwÚ and hate, 
:33 That UwU I >w< an xDD accessawy >_< nyeeds ^w^ must be, 
;;w;; To :3 that x3 sweet UwU thief which souwwy robs from x3 me. 


36 
Let ;;w;; me x3 confess :3 that ^.^ we >w< two ^w^ must be twain, 
Awthough UwU ouw :33 undivided loves OwO awe onye: 
^w^ So UwU shaww UwU those bwots :3 that UwU do with ;;w;; me >_< wemain, 
Without >w< thy hewp, ^.^ by ;;w;; me be :3 bownye >_< awonye. 
^w^ In UwU ouw >w< two loves there >_> is >_> but one wespect, 
;;w;; Though uWu in UwU ouw ;;w;; wives :3 a separable xDD spite, 
>_< Which ^w^ though >w< it x3 awtew nyot love's sole xDD effect, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD doth >w< it ^.^ steaw x3 sweet >_> houws from love's delight. 
UwU I OwO may nyot evewmowe :3 acknyowwedge ÚwÚ thee, 
Lest x3 my OwO bewaiwed guilt >_> shouwd UwU do uWu thee UwU shame, 
x3 Nyow xDD thou with public OwO kindnyess honour uWu me, 
OwO Unwess xDD thou OwO take :3 that honour from >w< thy xDD nyame: 
OwO But UwU do nyot >_> so, UwU I wuv uWu thee uWu in xDD such sort, 
;;w;; As xDD thou ^.^ being >_> minye, >_< minye >_> is >w< thy ÚwÚ good report. 


x3 37 
;;w;; As :3 a :33 decwepit >w< fathew UwU takes OwO dewight, 
;;w;; To >_> see :33 his OwO active chiwd UwU do >_< deeds of youth, 
^w^ So I, UwU made :3 wame ^.^ by Fowtunye's deawest x3 spite 
^.^ Take aww x3 my uWu comfowt of >w< thy ^.^ wowth ÚwÚ and truth. 
For >w< whethew >w< beauty, birth, ow ^.^ weawth, ow ^w^ wit, 
:33 Ow xDD any of these all, ow all, ow ^.^ mowe 
Entitwed uWu in >w< thy xDD pawts, UwU do ^.^ cwownyed ^.^ sit, 
UwU I >_< make x3 my wuv engrafted to ÚwÚ this stowe: 
^w^ So xDD then UwU I ^w^ am nyot ;;w;; wame, OwO poow, nor despised, 
Whilst :3 that ÚwÚ this :3 shadow xDD doth xDD such ÚwÚ substance give, 
:33 That UwU I uWu in >w< thy abundance ^w^ am ÚwÚ sufficed, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 a ÚwÚ pawt of aww >w< thy :3 gwowy live: 
Wook >_> what >_> is ^w^ best, :3 that best UwU I ÚwÚ wish uWu in ÚwÚ thee, 
This ÚwÚ wish UwU I have, xDD then ;;w;; ten times ^w^ happy x3 me. 


;;w;; 38 
How ^.^ can x3 my >_< muse ^.^ want x3 subject to invent 
While xDD thou dost ;;w;; bweathe :3 that pouw'st x3 into x3 my vewse, 
OwO Thinye UwU own x3 sweet :33 awgument, ^w^ too ÚwÚ excewwent, 
For every uWu vuwgaw paper to ÚwÚ weheawse? 
x3 O UwU give >w< thy self x3 the thanks >_> if ^.^ aught uWu in uWu me, 
Wowthy ;;w;; pewusaw stand OwO against >w< thy UwU sight, 
For OwO who's UwU so UwU dumb :3 that ;;w;; cannyot >w< wwite to ÚwÚ thee, 
x3 When xDD thou >w< thy self dost UwU give >w< invention wight? 
^w^ Be xDD thou x3 the >_> tenth xDD Muse, ;;w;; ten times ^.^ mowe uWu in ^.^ wowth 
Than UwU those ;;w;; owd >w< nyinye which uWu whymews ;;w;; invocate, 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that ;;w;; cawws on ÚwÚ thee, wet ^.^ him ;;w;; bwing fowth 
Eternal xDD nyumbews to outwive ^-^ wong >_> date. 
;;w;; If x3 my :3 swight >_< muse UwU do uWu pwease these curious uWu days, 
uWu The :33 pain be >_> minye, >_> but ^.^ thinye UwU shaww be x3 the ;;w;; pwaise. 


39 
x3 O >w< how >w< thy ^.^ wowth with ^w^ mannyews OwO may UwU I ^w^ sing, 
x3 When xDD thou awt aww x3 the xDD bettew ÚwÚ pawt of me? 
>_> What ^.^ can >_< minye UwU own praise to >_< minye UwU own self bwing: 
xDD And >_> what :3 is't >_> but >_< minye UwU own when UwU I praise thee? 
Even fow uWu this, wet >_> us OwO divided x3 wive, 
xDD And UwU ouw uWu deaw wuv wose xDD nyame of :3 singwe one, 
:33 That ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu sepawation UwU I OwO may ;;w;; give: 
:33 That >_< due to uWu thee which xDD thou desewv'st ÚwÚ awonye: 
x3 O >w< absence >_> what :3 a x3 towment wouldst xDD thou prove, 
^.^ Wewe >w< it nyot >w< thy :3 souw leisure uWu gave x3 sweet weave, 
;;w;; To entertain x3 the time with >_< thoughts of xDD wuv, 
>_< Which time ÚwÚ and >_< thoughts UwU so sweetly xDD doth x3 deceive. 
xDD And :3 that xDD thou >_> teachest >w< how to >_< make one twain, 
^-^ By pwaising ^.^ him OwO hewe who xDD doth >w< hence ^-^ wemain. 


x3 40 
^.^ Take aww x3 my wuvs, x3 my xDD wuv, >w< yea OwO take them all, 
>_> What x3 hast xDD thou xDD then ^.^ mowe than xDD thou >w< hadst ;;w;; befowe? 
No xDD wuv, x3 my xDD wuv, :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst true wuv >_> caww, 
All >_< minye UwU was xDD thinye, >w< befowe xDD thou >w< hadst ÚwÚ this uWu mowe: 
UwU Then >_> if fow x3 my xDD wuv, xDD thou x3 my wuv :33 weceivest, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu bwame ÚwÚ thee, fow x3 my wuv xDD thou >w< usest, 
OwO But yet be >w< bwamed, >_> if xDD thou >w< thy self >_< deceivest 
^-^ By ^.^ wiwfuw >_> taste of >_> what >w< thy self OwO wefusest. 
UwU I UwU do :33 fowgive >w< thy robbery ^-^ gentwe UwU thief 
Awthough xDD thou ^.^ steaw uWu thee aww x3 my xDD puvwty: 
xDD And yet wuv xDD knyows >w< it >_> is :3 a :33 gweatew grief 
;;w;; To UwU beaw :33 gweatew wwong, than xDD hate's ÚwÚ knyown >w< injuwy. 
Lascivious gwace, uWu in ÚwÚ whom aww :33 iww weww uWu shows, 
ÚwÚ Kiww ;;w;; me with spites yet ^.^ we ^w^ must nyot be foes. 


ÚwÚ 41 
>w< Those OwO pwetty >_< wwongs :3 that ^w^ wibewty xDD commits, 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ sometime absent from >w< thy uWu heawt, 
x3 Thy >w< beauty, ÚwÚ and >w< thy years full weww x3 befits, 
For still ^-^ temptation xDD fowwows :3 whewe xDD thou art. 
^w^ Gentwe xDD thou awt, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe to be >_> won, 
Beauteous xDD thou awt, >_< thewefowe to be assaiwed. 
xDD And when :3 a OwO woman woos, >_> what xDD woman's x3 son, 
Will souwwy OwO weave her >w< tiww ^.^ he uWu have pwevaiwed? 
uWu Ay uWu me, >_> but yet xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst x3 my uWu seat fowbeaw, 
xDD And UwU chide >w< thy >w< beauty, ÚwÚ and >w< thy ÚwÚ stwaying youth, 
Who lead uWu thee uWu in uWu theiw riot even there 
Whewe xDD thou awt xDD fowced to bweak :3 a twofold twuth: 
Hews ^.^ by >w< thy beauty >_< tempting her to ÚwÚ thee, 
OwO Thinye ^.^ by >w< thy beauty ^.^ being UwU fawse to x3 me. 


>w< 42 
:33 That xDD thou x3 hast her >w< it >_> is nyot aww x3 my gwief, 
xDD And yet >w< it OwO may be uWu said UwU I xDD wuvd her ^-^ deawwy, 
:33 That ^.^ she hath uWu thee >_> is of x3 my x3 waiwing ;;w;; chief, 
^-^ A ^-^ woss uWu in wuv :3 that >_> touches ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe >_< nyeawwy. 
Woving offenders OwO thus UwU I xDD wiww UwU excuse :3 ye, 
^.^ Thou dost wuv hew, uWu because xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st UwU I wuv hew, 
xDD And fow x3 my ÚwÚ sake even UwU so xDD doth ^.^ she abuse uWu me, 
>_< Suff'wing x3 my :33 fwiend fow x3 my ÚwÚ sake to approve her. 
;;w;; If UwU I wose ÚwÚ thee, x3 my ^-^ woss >_> is x3 my love's :33 gain, 
xDD And losing hew, x3 my :33 fwiend hath >_> found :3 that woss, 
UwU Both find >_< each ÚwÚ othew, ÚwÚ and UwU I wose both twain, 
xDD And both fow x3 my ÚwÚ sake uWu way on ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this cwoss, 
OwO But hewe's x3 the joy, x3 my :33 fwiend ÚwÚ and UwU I OwO awe one, 
ÚwÚ Sweet flattery, xDD then ^.^ she loves >_> but ;;w;; me >_< awonye. 


uWu 43 
x3 When UwU most UwU I >_> wink xDD then UwU do >_< minye eyes best see, 
For aww x3 the day ;;w;; they x3 view ^.^ things unwespected, 
OwO But when UwU I sweep, uWu in x3 dweams ;;w;; they wook on ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And >_< dawkwy :3 bwight, OwO awe uWu bwight uWu in dark ;;w;; diwected. 
UwU Then xDD thou x3 whose :3 shadow ^-^ shadows xDD doth >_< make uWu bwight 
How ^.^ wouwd >w< thy :3 shadow's ÚwÚ fowm, >_< fowm ^w^ happy show, 
;;w;; To x3 the ^-^ cweaw day with >w< thy much cweawew wight, 
x3 When to unseeing eyes >w< thy shade uWu shinyes so! 
How ^.^ wouwd UwU (I >_> say) >_< minye eyes be blessed made, 
^-^ By ^w^ wooking on uWu thee uWu in x3 the UwU wiving ^-^ day, 
x3 When uWu in >_< dead >w< nyight >w< thy >w< faiw ^w^ impewfect shade, 
^.^ Thwough x3 heavy :33 sweep on sightless eyes xDD doth ^-^ stay! 
All OwO days OwO awe :33 nyights to >_> see >w< tiww UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And :33 nyights uWu bwight OwO days when x3 dweams UwU do x3 show uWu thee x3 me. 


>w< 44 
;;w;; If x3 the dull ÚwÚ substance of x3 my >w< fwesh :3 wewe ^-^ thought, 
Injurious ^w^ distance >_> shouwd nyot ÚwÚ stop x3 my :3 way, 
For xDD then ;;w;; despite of xDD space UwU I ^.^ wouwd be brought, 
Fwom :3 wimits uWu faw remote, :3 whewe xDD thou dost ;;w;; stay, 
No ;;w;; mattew xDD then awthough x3 my :33 foot uWu did stand 
>_> Upon x3 the ^-^ fawthest ^.^ eawth removed from ÚwÚ thee, 
For >_< nyimbwe xDD thought ^.^ can x3 jump both sea ÚwÚ and land, 
;;w;; As >w< soon >_< as think x3 the :33 pwace :3 whewe ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >w< be. 
OwO But UwU ah, xDD thought :33 kiwws ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I ^w^ am nyot xDD thought 
;;w;; To ^-^ weap large lengths of >_< miwes when xDD thou awt >w< gonye, 
OwO But :3 that UwU so much of ^.^ eawth ÚwÚ and UwU watew wrought, 
UwU I ^w^ must >w< attend, ÚwÚ time's leisure with x3 my ^w^ moan. 
ÚwÚ Weceiving >_< nyought ^.^ by ÚwÚ ewements UwU so swow, 
OwO But x3 heavy ^-^ teaws, ^.^ badges of uWu eithew's woe. 


^-^ 45 
uWu The othew >_> two, :3 swight air, ÚwÚ and puwging ^w^ fiwe, 
^w^ Awe both with ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ whewevew UwU I :3 abide, 
uWu The xDD fiwst x3 my ^-^ thought, x3 the othew x3 my >_> desiwe, 
;;w;; These OwO pwesent-absent with UwU swift >_> motion xDD swide. 
For when these quickew ÚwÚ ewements OwO awe >_> gonye 
^w^ In xDD tendew uWu embassy of wuv to ÚwÚ thee, 
OwO My >w< wife ^.^ being UwU made of >w< fouw, with >w< two ^-^ awonye, 
Sinks down to UwU death, OwO oppwessed with :3 mewanchowy. 
Untiw ^w^ wife's composition be >_> wecuwed, 
^-^ By UwU those UwU swift xDD messengews wetuwnyed from ÚwÚ thee, 
Who even >_> but nyow come back again ^.^ assuwed, 
Of >w< thy >w< faiw :33 heawth, wecounting >w< it to x3 me. 
This x3 towd, UwU I joy, >_> but xDD then nyo longer gwad, 
UwU I >_> send them back again ÚwÚ and ^w^ stwaight gwow OwO sad. 


OwO 46 
Mine ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and >_< heawt OwO awe uWu at :3 a >w< mowtaw waw, 
How to OwO divide x3 the conquest of >w< thy UwU sight, 
Mine >_< eye, x3 my >_< heawt >w< thy ^-^ pictuwe's ^.^ sight ^.^ wouwd uWu baw, 
OwO My uWu heawt, >_< minye ^w^ eye x3 the OwO fweedom of :3 that wight, 
OwO My >_< heawt xDD doth pwead :3 that xDD thou uWu in ^.^ him dost wie, 
(A cwoset >_< nyevew pierced with >_> cwystaw :3 eyes) 
OwO But x3 the UwU defendant xDD doth :3 that pwea deny, 
xDD And ;;w;; says uWu in ^.^ him >w< thy >w< faiw xDD appeawance uWu wies. 
;;w;; To x3 side ÚwÚ this ;;w;; titwe >_> is ÚwÚ impanyewwed 
^-^ A ^w^ quest of thoughts, aww tenyants to x3 the uWu heawt, 
xDD And ^.^ by uWu theiw :33 vewdict >_> is :3 detewminyed 
uWu The ^-^ cweaw UwU eye's ^-^ moiety, ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu deaw heart's part. 
;;w;; As thus, >_< minye UwU eye's >_< due >_> is >w< thy :33 outwawd >_> pawt, 
xDD And x3 my heart's wight, >w< thy inward wuv of ;;w;; heawt. 


47 
Betwixt >_< minye ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and >_< heawt :3 a :33 weague >_> is took, 
xDD And >_< each xDD doth ÚwÚ good tuwns nyow >w< unto x3 the ÚwÚ othew, 
x3 When :3 that >_< minye ^w^ eye >_> is famished fow :3 a look, 
:33 Ow >_< heawt uWu in wuv with :3 sighs >_< himsewf xDD doth ÚwÚ smothew; 
With x3 my love's ^-^ pictuwe xDD then x3 my ^w^ eye xDD doth OwO feast, 
xDD And to x3 the painted :33 banquet UwU bids x3 my heart: 
ÚwÚ Anyothew time >_< minye ^w^ eye >_> is x3 my heart's :3 guest, 
xDD And uWu in :33 his >_< thoughts of wuv xDD doth share :3 a part. 
^w^ So xDD eithew ^.^ by >w< thy ^-^ pictuwe ow x3 my xDD wuv, 
x3 Thy self away, awt xDD pwesent still with uWu me, 
For xDD thou nyot ^-^ fawthew than x3 my >_< thoughts ;;w;; canst x3 muv, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am still with ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they with thee. 
:33 Ow >_> if ;;w;; they sweep, >w< thy ^-^ pictuwe uWu in x3 my ^.^ sight 
:3 Awakes x3 my uWu heawt, to heart's ÚwÚ and UwU eye's delight. 


48 
How careful UwU was UwU I when UwU I >_> took x3 my :3 way, 
x3 Each xDD twifwe :33 undew uWu twuest bars to ÚwÚ thwust, 
:33 That to x3 my use >w< it ^w^ might unused xDD stay 
Fwom ^.^ hands of fawsehood, uWu in >_< suwe wards of twust! 
OwO But UwU thou, to ÚwÚ whom x3 my :3 jewews twifwes awe, 
:3 Most ÚwÚ wowthy comfort, nyow x3 my ÚwÚ gweatest gwief, 
^.^ Thou best of :3 deawest, ÚwÚ and >_< minye >w< onwy care, 
Awt left x3 the prey of every uWu vuwgaw >w< thief. 
uWu Thee uWu have UwU I nyot UwU wocked x3 up uWu in xDD any :3 chest, 
:3 Save :3 whewe xDD thou awt >_> nyot, ^w^ though UwU I x3 feew xDD thou awt, 
OwO Within x3 the ^-^ gentwe cwosuwe of x3 my UwU bweast, 
Fwom >_> whence uWu at :3 pweasuwe xDD thou uWu mayst come ÚwÚ and >_> pawt, 
xDD And even thence xDD thou wiwt be :3 stow'n UwU I ;;w;; feaw, 
For uWu twuth ;;w;; pwuvs thievish fow :3 a >w< pwize UwU so deaw. 


;;w;; 49 
^w^ Against :3 that time ÚwÚ (if OwO evew :3 that time :3 come) 
x3 When UwU I UwU shaww >_> see uWu thee fwown on x3 my UwU defects, 
x3 When >_< as >w< thy wuv hath ;;w;; cast :33 his utmost sum, 
Cawwed to :3 that ^-^ audit ^.^ by ^w^ advised x3 wespects, 
^w^ Against :3 that time when xDD thou shalt OwO stwangewy pass, 
xDD And uWu scawcewy x3 gweet ;;w;; me with :3 that sun ^.^ thinye >_< eye, 
x3 When wuv ^.^ convewted from x3 the ^.^ thing >w< it UwU was 
Shall weasons find of ^-^ settwed gravity; 
^w^ Against :3 that time UwU do UwU I :33 ensconce ;;w;; me OwO hewe 
OwO Within x3 the >_< knyowwedge of >_< minye UwU own :3 desewt, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this x3 my uWu hand, OwO against x3 my self ^w^ upweaw, 
;;w;; To xDD guawd x3 the ÚwÚ wawfuw weasons on >w< thy >_> pawt, 
;;w;; To OwO weave poor uWu me, xDD thou x3 hast x3 the ÚwÚ stwength of ^-^ waws, 
Since >w< why to xDD wuv, UwU I ^.^ can awwege nyo OwO cause. 


:3 50 
How x3 heavy UwU do UwU I ^w^ jouwnyey on x3 the :3 way, 
x3 When >_> what UwU I >_> seek >_< (my ÚwÚ weawy uWu twavew's ^w^ end) 
^-^ Doth >_< teach :3 that case ÚwÚ and :3 that wepose to >_> say 
;;w;; 'Thus uWu faw x3 the >_< miwes OwO awe measuwed from >w< thy >w< fwiend.' 
uWu The beast :3 that bears uWu me, ^w^ tiwed with x3 my woe, 
Plods :3 duwwy ;;w;; on, to UwU beaw :3 that >_> weight uWu in uWu me, 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ by x3 some >w< instinct x3 the uWu wwetch uWu did ^.^ knyow 
ÚwÚ His widew xDD wuvd nyot ^w^ speed ^.^ being UwU made from >_< thee: 
uWu The bwoody ^w^ spuw ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; pwovoke ^.^ him ;;w;; on, 
:33 That x3 sometimes ÚwÚ angew thrusts x3 into :33 his hide, 
>_< Which >_> heaviwy ^.^ he ^-^ answews with :3 a gwoan, 
uWu Mowe ^-^ shawp to ;;w;; me than ^.^ spuwwing to :33 his side, 
For :3 that same gwoan xDD doth put ÚwÚ this uWu in x3 my UwU mind, 
OwO My grief wies onward ÚwÚ and x3 my joy behind. 


51 
^-^ Thus ^.^ can x3 my wuv UwU excuse x3 the slow ^-^ offence, 
Of x3 my dull >w< beawew, when from uWu thee UwU I speed, 
Fwom :3 whewe xDD thou awt, >w< why >_> shouwd UwU I ^.^ haste ;;w;; me :3 thence? 
Tiww UwU I ^-^ wetuwn of UwU posting >_> is nyo ^w^ nyeed. 
x3 O >_> what UwU excuse xDD wiww x3 my poor beast xDD then ^w^ find, 
x3 When UwU swift extremity ^.^ can xDD seem >_> but swow? 
UwU Then >_> shouwd UwU I ^w^ spuw ^w^ though UwU mounted on x3 the ;;w;; wind, 
^w^ In >_> winged ^w^ speed nyo >_> motion UwU shaww UwU I knyow, 
UwU Then ^.^ can nyo UwU howse with x3 my ^.^ desiwe >_< keep pace, 
Therefore ^.^ desiwe ÚwÚ (of ÚwÚ pewfect'st wuv ^.^ being >w< made) 
Shall nyeigh (no dull >_< fwesh) uWu in :33 his fiery :33 wace, 
OwO But xDD wuv, fow xDD wuv, OwO thus UwU shaww UwU excuse x3 my >_< jade, 
Since from uWu thee ^-^ going, ^.^ he OwO went >w< wiwfuw-swow, 
Towards uWu thee I'll uWu wun, ÚwÚ and UwU give ^.^ him OwO weave to ÚwÚ go. 


;;w;; 52 
^w^ So ^w^ am UwU I >_< as x3 the rich x3 whose blessed >_> key, 
UwU Can ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to :33 his x3 sweet >_> up-wocked treasure, 
uWu The which ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot every >_> houw suwvey, 
For ^.^ bwunting x3 the OwO finye :33 point of seldom pleasure. 
Therefore OwO awe feasts UwU so solemn ÚwÚ and UwU so wawe, 
Since seldom xDD coming uWu in :3 that ^-^ wong xDD yeaw ^-^ set, 
Wike ^.^ stonyes of ^.^ wowth ;;w;; they thinly pwaced awe, 
:33 Ow UwU captain :3 jewews uWu in x3 the ^.^ cawcanyet. 
^w^ So >_> is x3 the time :3 that keeps xDD you >_< as x3 my uWu chest 
:33 Ow >_< as x3 the wardrobe which x3 the wobe xDD doth hide, 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 some >_> speciaw x3 instant speciaw-bwest, 
^-^ By x3 nyew ^-^ unfowding :33 his x3 impwisonyed pwide. 
Bwessed OwO awe xDD you x3 whose wowthinyess ;;w;; gives >w< scope, 
uWu Being xDD had to :3 twiumph, ^.^ being ^.^ wacked to ^-^ hope. 


53 
>_> What >_> is x3 youw ÚwÚ substance, xDD wheweof OwO awe xDD you made, 
:33 That millions of ;;w;; stwange ^-^ shadows on xDD you :33 tend? 
Since every one, hath every one, one shade, 
xDD And xDD you >_> but one, ^.^ can every :3 shadow xDD wend: 
>w< Descwibe Adonyis ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< countewfeit, 
Is poorly ^-^ imitated ÚwÚ aftew UwU you, 
On Helen's >_< cheek aww awt of beauty ^-^ set, 
xDD And xDD you uWu in Grecian tires OwO awe painted uWu nyew: 
^w^ Speak of x3 the spring, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ foison of x3 the >w< yeaw, 
uWu The one xDD doth :3 shadow of x3 youw beauty show, 
uWu The othew >_< as x3 youw >_> bounty xDD doth ^.^ appeaw, 
xDD And xDD you uWu in every blessed xDD shape ^.^ we :33 knyow. 
^w^ In aww ÚwÚ extewnyaw xDD gwace xDD you uWu have x3 some >_> pawt, 
OwO But xDD you ^.^ wike nyonye, >_< nyonye xDD you fow ^w^ constant ;;w;; heawt. 


UwU 54 
x3 O >w< how much ^.^ mowe xDD doth beauty beauteous ;;w;; seem, 
^-^ By :3 that x3 sweet ^w^ ownyament which uWu twuth xDD doth :3 give! 
uWu The wose :33 wooks faiw, >_> but fairer ^.^ we >w< it >w< deem 
For :3 that x3 sweet ^.^ odouw, which xDD doth uWu in >w< it live: 
uWu The ;;w;; cankew bwooms uWu have full >_< as >_> deep :3 a xDD dye, 
;;w;; As x3 the perfumed >_< tinctuwe of x3 the >_> woses, 
Hang on xDD such thowns, ÚwÚ and :33 pway >_< as ;;w;; wantonwy, 
x3 When :33 summew's UwU bweath uWu theiw >w< masked ^-^ buds discwoses: 
OwO But fow uWu theiw viwtue >w< onwy >_> is uWu theiw show, 
^-^ They ^w^ wive ^w^ unwooed, ÚwÚ and ^w^ unwespected fade, 
:33 Die to x3 themsewves. ÚwÚ Sweet >_< woses UwU do nyot >_> so, 
Of uWu theiw x3 sweet UwU deaths, OwO awe ^w^ sweetest UwU odouws >_< made: 
xDD And UwU so of UwU you, beauteous ÚwÚ and lovely youth, 
x3 When :3 that UwU shaww vade, ^.^ by >_> vewse distills x3 youw truth. 


>_< 55 
ÚwÚ Nyot ;;w;; mawbwe, nor x3 the :3 giwded ^-^ monyuments 
Of pwinces UwU shaww outwive ÚwÚ this powerful ^-^ whyme, 
OwO But xDD you UwU shaww shine ^.^ mowe uWu bwight uWu in these contents 
Than uWu unswept OwO stonye, besmeared with >_> swuttish uWu time. 
x3 When ^w^ wastefuw >w< waw UwU shaww statues xDD uvwtuwn, 
xDD And ^-^ bwoiws ^.^ woot x3 out x3 the ^.^ wowk of masonry, 
x3 Nyow uWu Maws :33 his uWu swowd, nor waw's ^w^ quick fire UwU shaww burn: 
uWu The UwU wiving xDD wecowd of x3 youw memory. 
^w^ 'Gainst UwU death, ÚwÚ and xDD aww-obwivious >_< enmity 
Shall xDD you >_> pace ^-^ fowth, x3 youw praise UwU shaww still find room, 
Even uWu in x3 the eyes of aww posterity 
:33 That ^-^ weaw ÚwÚ this wowwd x3 out to x3 the >w< ending doom. 
^w^ So >w< tiww x3 the ^w^ judgment :3 that x3 youw self ^.^ awise, 
>_> You ^w^ wive uWu in uWu this, ÚwÚ and dwell uWu in wuvws' :3 eyes. 


>w< 56 
ÚwÚ Sweet wuv renew >w< thy fowce, be >w< it nyot uWu said 
x3 Thy UwU edge >_> shouwd :3 bwuntew be than uWu appetite, 
>_< Which >_> but ^w^ to-day ^.^ by feeding >_> is allayed, 
>_< To-mowwow sharpened uWu in :33 his xDD fowmew ^.^ might. 
^w^ So wuv be UwU thou, awthough ^w^ to-day xDD thou ^w^ fiww 
x3 Thy hungwy ^w^ eyes, even >w< tiww ;;w;; they >_> wink with :3 fuwnyess, 
>_< To-mowwow >_> see OwO again, ÚwÚ and UwU do nyot OwO kiww 
uWu The ^w^ spiwit of xDD wuv, with :3 a pewpetuaw dulness: 
Let ÚwÚ this >_> sad intewim ^.^ wike x3 the xDD ocean be 
>_< Which parts x3 the >w< showe, :3 whewe >w< two >_< contwacted ^w^ nyew, 
:3 Come x3 daiwy to x3 the ^w^ banks, :3 that when ;;w;; they OwO see: 
Return of xDD wuv, ^.^ mowe bwest OwO may be x3 the x3 view. 
:33 Ow caww >w< it UwU wintew, which ^.^ being full of care, 
:3 Makes :33 summew's ;;w;; wewcome, thrice ^.^ mowe wished, ^.^ mowe rare. 


57 
uWu Being x3 youw ;;w;; swave >_> what >_> shouwd UwU I UwU do >_> but ÚwÚ tend, 
>_> Upon x3 the houws, ÚwÚ and times of x3 youw desiwe? 
UwU I uWu have nyo >_< pwecious time uWu at aww to ;;w;; spend; 
x3 Nyow >_< sewvices to UwU do >w< tiww xDD you require. 
x3 Nyow dawe UwU I UwU chide x3 the wowwd-without-end ^-^ houw, 
Whilst UwU I >_< (my ^-^ suvweign) ;;w;; watch x3 the >w< cwock fow UwU you, 
x3 Nyow think x3 the uWu bittewnyess of >w< absence sour, 
x3 When xDD you uWu have bid x3 youw xDD sewvant >_> once ^w^ adieu. 
x3 Nyow dawe UwU I ;;w;; question with x3 my jealous ^-^ thought, 
Whewe xDD you OwO may be, ow x3 youw affairs >w< suppose, 
OwO But ^.^ wike :3 a >_> sad ;;w;; swave xDD stay ÚwÚ and think of >_< nyought 
:3 Save :3 whewe xDD you awe, >w< how ^w^ happy xDD you >_< make x3 those. 
^w^ So true :3 a >w< foow >_> is xDD wuv, :3 that uWu in x3 youw :33 wiww, 
(Though xDD you UwU do xDD any >_< thing) ^.^ he ^w^ thinks nyo ill. 


^-^ 58 
:33 That god OwO fowbid, :3 that UwU made ;;w;; me xDD fiwst x3 youw :33 swave, 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu in xDD thought contwow x3 youw times of x3 pweasuwe, 
:33 Ow uWu at x3 youw uWu hand x3 th' :33 account of >_> houws to OwO cwave, 
uWu Being x3 youw ^.^ vassaw bound to xDD stay x3 youw xDD weisuwe. 
x3 O wet ;;w;; me suffew (being uWu at x3 youw beck) 
xDD Th' x3 impwisonyed >w< absence of x3 youw >w< wibewty, 
xDD And uWu patience >w< tame to sufferance bide >_< each check, 
Without accusing xDD you of >w< injuwy. 
^w^ Be :3 whewe xDD you wist, x3 youw ÚwÚ chawtew >_> is UwU so :33 stwong, 
:33 That xDD you x3 youw self OwO may uWu pwiviwage x3 youw time 
;;w;; To >_> what xDD you :33 wiww, to xDD you >w< it xDD doth belong, 
uWu Youw self to UwU pawdon of ;;w;; sewf-doing crime. 
UwU I ^w^ am to x3 wait, ^w^ though uWu waiting UwU so be >_> heww, 
ÚwÚ Nyot uWu bwame x3 youw :3 pweasuwe be >w< it :33 iww ow well. 


59 
;;w;; If there be >_< nyothing ^w^ nyew, >_> but :3 that which ;;w;; is, 
>_< Hath :33 been x3 befowe, >w< how OwO awe UwU ouw brains beguiled, 
>_< Which labouring fow >w< invention UwU beaw >_> amis 
uWu The second >_< buwthen of :3 a xDD fowmew >_> chiwd! 
x3 O :3 that xDD wecowd couwd with :3 a uWu backwawd look, 
Even of five :3 hundwed ;;w;; couwses of x3 the sun, 
uWu Show ;;w;; me x3 youw x3 image uWu in x3 some >w< antique ^-^ book, 
Since ^-^ mind uWu at xDD fiwst uWu in character UwU was ^-^ donye. 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ might >_> see >_> what x3 the ;;w;; owd wowwd couwd say, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this UwU composed wonder of x3 youw frame, 
Whethew ^.^ we OwO awe >_< mended, ow >w< whethew xDD bettew >w< they, 
:33 Ow >w< whethew :3 wevowution be x3 the :33 same. 
x3 O >_< suwe UwU I ^w^ am x3 the :33 wits of xDD fowmew uWu days, 
;;w;; To subjects xDD wowse uWu have UwU given ^w^ admiwing ;;w;; pwaise. 


OwO 60 
Wike >_< as x3 the ;;w;; waves >_< make uWu towawds x3 the OwO pebbwed >w< showe, 
^w^ So UwU do UwU ouw ^w^ minyutes x3 hasten to uWu theiw ^w^ end, 
x3 Each :3 changing :33 pwace with :3 that which xDD goes x3 befowe, 
^w^ In sequent toiw aww OwO fowwawds UwU do ^w^ contend. 
>_< Nyativity >_> once uWu in x3 the :33 main of wight, 
:3 Cwawws to maturity, xDD whewewith ^.^ being >w< cwownyed, 
Crooked >_< ecwipses uWu 'gainst :33 his :3 gwowy x3 fight, 
xDD And ^-^ Time :3 that :3 gave, xDD doth nyow :33 his ^w^ gift confound. 
^-^ Time xDD doth >_< twansfix x3 the :33 fwouwish uWu set on youth, 
xDD And ÚwÚ dewves x3 the ;;w;; pawawwews uWu in beauty's >_> bwow, 
>_< Feeds on x3 the wawities of ;;w;; nyatuwe's truth, 
xDD And >_< nyothing >w< stands >_> but fow :33 his x3 scythe to uWu mow. 
xDD And yet to times uWu in hope, x3 my >_> vewse UwU shaww stand 
>_< Pwaising >w< thy ^.^ wowth, ;;w;; despite :33 his UwU cwuew >w< hand. 


x3 61 
Is >w< it >w< thy :33 wiww, >w< thy x3 image >_> shouwd >_< keep open 
OwO My x3 heavy >_> eyewids to x3 the ÚwÚ weawy night? 
uWu Dost xDD thou ^.^ desiwe x3 my swumbews >_> shouwd be OwO bwoken, 
While ^-^ shadows ^.^ wike to uWu thee UwU do ÚwÚ mock x3 my sight? 
Is >w< it >w< thy ^w^ spiwit :3 that xDD thou xDD send'st from uWu thee 
^w^ So uWu faw from ^.^ home x3 into x3 my >_< deeds to pwy, 
;;w;; To find x3 out UwU shames ÚwÚ and idle >_> houws uWu in uWu me, 
uWu The ;;w;; scope ÚwÚ and tenure of >w< thy ^.^ jeawousy? 
x3 O no, >w< thy wuv ^w^ though ÚwÚ much, >_> is nyot UwU so ^.^ gweat, 
^.^ It >_> is x3 my wuv :3 that keeps >_< minye ^w^ eye >w< awake, 
Mine UwU own true wuv :3 that xDD doth x3 my xDD west defeat, 
;;w;; To :33 pway x3 the watchman OwO evew fow >w< thy sake. 
For uWu thee ;;w;; watch I, whiwst xDD thou dost wake :3 ewsewhewe, 
Fwom ;;w;; me uWu faw ^w^ off, with ;;w;; othews aww ^w^ too ÚwÚ nyeaw. 


x3 62 
Sin of sewf-wuv UwU possesseth aww >_< minye >_< eye, 
xDD And aww x3 my x3 souw, ÚwÚ and aww x3 my every ^w^ pawt; 
xDD And fow ÚwÚ this x3 sin there >_> is nyo ^.^ wemedy, 
^.^ It >_> is UwU so >_< gwounded inward uWu in x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
Methinks nyo OwO face UwU so >_> gwacious >_> is >_< as >_> minye, 
No xDD shape UwU so ^-^ twue, nyo uWu twuth of xDD such ^w^ account, 
xDD And fow x3 my self >_< minye UwU own ^.^ wowth UwU do >w< definye, 
;;w;; As UwU I aww othew uWu in aww :33 wowths >_> suwmount. 
OwO But when x3 my gwass >_< shows ;;w;; me x3 my self ÚwÚ indeed 
uWu beated ÚwÚ and x3 chopt with ^.^ tannyed :33 antiquity, 
Mine UwU own sewf-wuv quite :33 contwawy UwU I read: 
Self, UwU so sewf-woving :3 wewe :33 inyiquity. 
'Tis uWu thee >_< (my :3 sewf) :3 that fow x3 my self UwU I >_< pwaise, 
Painting x3 my age with beauty of >w< thy days. 


>_> 63 
^w^ Against x3 my wuv UwU shaww be >_< as UwU I ^w^ am nyow 
With ÚwÚ Time's xDD injuwious uWu hand cwushed ÚwÚ and o'ewwown, 
x3 When >_> houws uWu have x3 dwainyed :33 his :3 bwood ÚwÚ and filled :33 his ^w^ bwow 
With lines ÚwÚ and wwinkwes, when :33 his youthfuw ;;w;; mown 
>_< Hath OwO twavewwed on to age's OwO steepy night, 
xDD And aww UwU those beauties xDD wheweof nyow uWu he's x3 king 
^w^ Awe ^-^ vanyishing, ow ^.^ vanyished x3 out of UwU sight, 
Steawing OwO away x3 the treasure of :33 his >_< spwing: 
For xDD such :3 a time UwU do UwU I nyow fortify 
^w^ Against >_< confounding age's UwU cwuew ^-^ knyife, 
:33 That ^.^ he UwU shaww >_< nyevew :3 cut from ^w^ memowy 
OwO My x3 sweet love's >w< beauty, ^w^ though x3 my lover's life. 
ÚwÚ His beauty UwU shaww uWu in these black lines be uWu seen, 
xDD And ;;w;; they UwU shaww x3 wive, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he uWu in them still x3 gween. 


x3 64 
x3 When UwU I uWu have :3 seen ^.^ by ÚwÚ Time's UwU feww uWu hand ^-^ defaced 
uWu The wich-pwoud >_> cost of outwown buried age, 
x3 When ÚwÚ sometime wofty towews UwU I >_> see down-wased, 
xDD And brass xDD etewnyaw ;;w;; swave to >w< mowtaw x3 wage. 
x3 When UwU I uWu have :3 seen x3 the hungwy xDD ocean ^.^ gain 
uWu Advantage on x3 the ^w^ kingdom of x3 the >w< showe, 
xDD And x3 the >w< fiwm UwU soiw x3 win of x3 the :3 watewy ^-^ main, 
Increasing OwO stowe with woss, ÚwÚ and ^-^ woss with >_< stowe. 
x3 When UwU I uWu have :3 seen xDD such >_< intewchange of ^-^ State, 
:33 Ow >w< state >w< it self x3 confounded, to uWu decay, 
x3 Wuin hath ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me OwO thus to >_< wuminyate 
:33 That ^-^ Time xDD wiww come ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 my wuv xDD away. 
This xDD thought >_> is >_< as :3 a :33 death which ;;w;; cannyot choose 
OwO But xDD weep to have, :3 that which >w< it OwO feaws to uWu wose. 


x3 65 
Since bwass, nor OwO stonye, nor earth, nor boundwess :33 sea, 
OwO But >_> sad OwO mowtawity UwU o'ewsways uWu theiw x3 powew, 
How with ÚwÚ this xDD wage UwU shaww beauty howd :3 a plea, 
>_< Whose uWu action >_> is nyo stronger than :3 a >w< fwowew? 
x3 O >w< how UwU shaww :33 summew's honey UwU bweath howd ^.^ out, 
^w^ Against x3 the wrackful ^-^ siege of ^-^ batt'wing uWu days, 
x3 When x3 wocks OwO impwegnyabwe OwO awe nyot UwU so uWu stout, 
x3 Nyow :3 gates of steew UwU so >w< stwong >_> but time UwU decays? 
x3 O x3 feawfuw >w< meditation, :3 whewe awack, 
Shall ÚwÚ Time's best jewel from ÚwÚ Time's uWu chest >_< wie ^-^ hid? 
:33 Ow >_> what >w< stwong uWu hand ^.^ can howd :33 his UwU swift :33 foot back, 
:33 Ow who :33 his :33 spoiw of beauty ^.^ can fowbid? 
x3 O nyonye, ^w^ unwess ÚwÚ this :33 miwacwe uWu have xDD might, 
:33 That uWu in black ink x3 my wuv OwO may still shine >_< bwight. 


x3 66 
uWu Tiwed with aww these fow OwO westfuw :33 death UwU I ^-^ cwy, 
;;w;; As to behowd desewt :3 a beggar born, 
xDD And nyeedy >_< nyothing ^-^ twimmed uWu in jollity, 
xDD And puwest :33 faith ÚwÚ unhappiwy forsworn, 
xDD And :3 giwded honour ÚwÚ shamefuwwy ;;w;; mispwaced, 
xDD And >_< maiden viwtue wudewy strumpeted, 
xDD And >w< wight pewfection UwU wwongfuwwy >_> disgwaced, 
xDD And ÚwÚ stwength ^.^ by wimping xDD sway ^.^ disabwed 
xDD And awt UwU made tongue-tied ^.^ by ÚwÚ authowity, 
xDD And >w< fowwy x3 (doctow-wike) >w< contwowwing ^-^ skiww, 
xDD And :33 simpwe uWu twuth >w< miscawwed simplicity, 
xDD And >w< captive ÚwÚ good :33 attending UwU captain ill. 
uWu Tiwed with aww OwO these, from these ^.^ wouwd UwU I be >w< gonye, 
:3 Save :3 that to >_> die, UwU I OwO weave x3 my wuv >_< awonye. 


67 
Ah ^-^ whewefowe with :3 infection >_> shouwd ^.^ he x3 wive, 
xDD And with :33 his x3 pwesence xDD gwace >w< impiety, 
:33 That x3 sin ^.^ by ^.^ him ^w^ advantage >_> shouwd xDD achieve, 
xDD And :33 wace >w< it self with :33 his society? 
Why >_> shouwd UwU fawse OwO painting ^.^ imitate :33 his OwO cheek, 
xDD And ^.^ steaw >_< dead ÚwÚ seeming of :33 his UwU wiving hue? 
Why >_> shouwd poor beauty indirectly seek, 
Woses of xDD shadow, xDD since :33 his wose >_> is twue? 
Why >_> shouwd ^.^ he x3 wive, nyow ÚwÚ nyatuwe >w< bankwupt ;;w;; is, 
ÚwÚ Beggawed of :3 bwood to bwush ^w^ thwough lively >_> veins, 
For ^.^ she hath nyo ^.^ exchequew nyow >_> but his, 
xDD And OwO pwoud of UwU many, ;;w;; wives ;;w;; upon :33 his gains? 
x3 O ^.^ him ^.^ she stowes, to x3 show >_> what weawth ^.^ she :33 had, 
^w^ In OwO days ^-^ wong since, >w< befowe these >w< wast UwU so bad. 


^.^ 68 
^-^ Thus >_> is :33 his >_< cheek x3 the ^.^ map of OwO days ^-^ outwown, 
x3 When beauty >_< wived ÚwÚ and >w< died >_< as fwowews UwU do now, 
^.^ Befowe these ^.^ bastawd signs of >w< faiw :3 wewe born, 
:33 Ow x3 duwst ;;w;; inhabit on :3 a UwU wiving OwO bwow: 
^.^ Befowe x3 the golden >w< twesses of x3 the >_< dead, 
uWu The >w< wight of ^.^ sepuwchwes, :3 wewe OwO shown away, 
;;w;; To ^w^ wive :3 a second >w< wife on second head, 
Ere beauty's >_< dead fweece UwU made anyothew gay: 
^w^ In ^.^ him UwU those >w< howy >w< antique >_> houws OwO awe uWu seen, 
Without aww ownyament, >w< it self ÚwÚ and ^-^ twue, 
^.^ Making nyo ^-^ summew of another's xDD gween, 
x3 Wobbing nyo ;;w;; owd to :3 dwess :33 his beauty ^w^ nyew, 
xDD And ^.^ him >_< as fow :3 a ^.^ map xDD doth ÚwÚ Nyatuwe store, 
;;w;; To x3 show UwU fawse Awt >_> what beauty UwU was of >_< yowe. 


OwO 69 
>w< Those parts of uWu thee :3 that x3 the OwO wowwd's ^w^ eye xDD doth ^.^ view, 
OwO Want >_< nyothing :3 that x3 the xDD thought of heawts ^.^ can >w< mend: 
All tongues uWu (the uWu voice of souws) UwU give uWu thee :3 that >_> due, 
^w^ Uttewing OwO bawe truth, even UwU so >_< as ^-^ foes commend. 
x3 Thy :33 outwawd OwO thus with :33 outwawd praise >_> is >w< cwownyed, 
OwO But UwU those same tongues :3 that UwU give uWu thee UwU so ^.^ thinye OwO own, 
^w^ In othew ;;w;; accents UwU do ÚwÚ this praise confound 
^-^ By ^-^ seeing ^-^ fawthew than x3 the ^w^ eye hath :3 shown. 
^-^ They wook x3 into x3 the beauty of >w< thy UwU mind, 
xDD And :3 that uWu in guess ;;w;; they UwU measuwe ^.^ by >w< thy uWu deeds, 
UwU Then churls uWu theiw >_< thoughts (although uWu theiw eyes :3 wewe ^.^ kind) 
;;w;; To >w< thy >w< faiw fwowew >_< add x3 the rank smell of weeds: 
OwO But >w< why >w< thy >_< odouw matcheth nyot >w< thy show, 
uWu The UwU soiw >_> is uWu this, :3 that xDD thou dost ^w^ common ^w^ gwow. 


x3 70 
:33 That xDD thou awt blamed UwU shaww nyot be >w< thy uWu defect, 
For ^.^ swandew's mark UwU was OwO evew yet x3 the faiw, 
uWu The ^w^ ownyament of beauty >_> is ;;w;; suspect, 
^-^ A x3 cwow :3 that fwies uWu in heaven's ^w^ sweetest air. 
^w^ So xDD thou be UwU good, ^-^ swandew xDD doth >_> but ^.^ appwuv, 
x3 Thy ^.^ wowth x3 the :33 gweatew ^.^ being :3 wooed of time, 
For ;;w;; cankew :33 vice x3 the ^w^ sweetest ^-^ buds xDD doth xDD wuv, 
xDD And xDD thou >w< pwesent'st :3 a puwe OwO unstainyed ^-^ pwime. 
^.^ Thou x3 hast x3 passed ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ ambush of xDD young uWu days, 
^-^ Eithew nyot >_> assaiwed, ow victor ^.^ being chawged, 
ÚwÚ Yet ÚwÚ this >w< thy praise ;;w;; cannyot be UwU so >w< thy >_< pwaise, 
;;w;; To :33 tie x3 up xDD envy, evewmowe enwawged, 
;;w;; If x3 some >_> suspect of :33 iww >w< masked nyot >w< thy show, 
UwU Then xDD thou awonye OwO kingdoms of heawts shouwdst owe. 


^w^ 71 
No longer mouwn fow ;;w;; me when UwU I ^w^ am >_< dead, 
Than xDD you UwU shaww hear x3 the uWu suwwy UwU suwwen beww 
Give :3 wawnying to x3 the wowwd :3 that UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ fwed 
Fwom ÚwÚ this ^-^ viwe wowwd with vilest wowms to ^-^ dweww: 
Nyay >_> if xDD you ^w^ wead ÚwÚ this xDD winye, remember >_> nyot, 
uWu The uWu hand :3 that ^-^ wwit :33 it, fow UwU I wuv xDD you >_> so, 
:33 That UwU I uWu in x3 youw x3 sweet >_< thoughts ^.^ wouwd be >w< fowgot, 
;;w;; If uWu thinking on ;;w;; me xDD then >_> shouwd >_< make xDD you woe. 
x3 O >_> if UwU (I >_> say) xDD you wook ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this vewse, 
x3 When UwU I (perhaps) OwO compounded ^w^ am with ^-^ cway, 
Do nyot UwU so much >_< as x3 my poor xDD nyame :33 weheawse; 
OwO But wet x3 youw wuv even with x3 my >w< wife UwU decay. 
Lest x3 the uWu wise wowwd >_> shouwd wook x3 into x3 youw >w< moan, 
xDD And ÚwÚ mock xDD you with ;;w;; me ÚwÚ aftew UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; gonye. 


>_> 72 
x3 O xDD west x3 the wowwd >_> shouwd :3 task xDD you to >_< wecite, 
>_> What merit >_< wived uWu in ;;w;; me :3 that xDD you >_> shouwd wuv 
>w< Aftew x3 my :33 death ^w^ (deaw :3 wuv) x3 fowget ;;w;; me UwU quite, 
For xDD you uWu in ;;w;; me ^.^ can >_< nyothing ÚwÚ wowthy ^.^ pwuv. 
OwO Unwess xDD you ^.^ wouwd >w< devise x3 some virtuous wie, 
;;w;; To UwU do ^.^ mowe fow ;;w;; me than >_< minye UwU own :3 desewt, 
xDD And ^w^ hang ^.^ mowe praise ;;w;; upon x3 deceased I, 
Than niggard uWu twuth ^.^ wouwd ^w^ wiwwingwy impawt: 
x3 O xDD west x3 youw true wuv OwO may xDD seem UwU fawse uWu in uWu this, 
:33 That xDD you fow wuv speak weww of ;;w;; me x3 untwue, 
OwO My xDD nyame be buried :3 whewe x3 my >w< body ;;w;; is, 
xDD And ^w^ wive nyo ^.^ mowe to ^-^ shame nor uWu me, nor OwO you. 
For UwU I ^w^ am :33 shamed ^.^ by :3 that which UwU I ;;w;; bwing ^-^ fowth, 
xDD And UwU so >_> shouwd UwU you, to wuv ^.^ things >_< nyothing uWu wowth. 


73 
:33 That time of xDD yeaw xDD thou uWu mayst uWu in ;;w;; me behowd, 
x3 When >w< yewwow OwO weaves, ow nyonye, ow x3 few UwU do ^w^ hang 
>_> Upon UwU those ^-^ boughs which ;;w;; shake OwO against x3 the >_< cowd, 
UwU Bawe :3 wuinyed ^.^ choiws, :3 whewe wate x3 the x3 sweet xDD biwds x3 sang. 
^w^ In ;;w;; me xDD thou seest x3 the UwU twiwight of xDD such ^-^ day, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ aftew xDD sunset OwO fadeth uWu in x3 the ^-^ west, 
>_< Which ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by black >w< nyight xDD doth OwO take away, 
UwU Death's second self :3 that >_> seaws x3 up aww uWu in rest. 
^w^ In ;;w;; me xDD thou seest x3 the >_< gwowing of xDD such ^w^ fiwe, 
:33 That on x3 the >_> ashes of :33 his :33 youth xDD doth wie, 
;;w;; As x3 the ^-^ death-bed, wheweon >w< it ^w^ must ;;w;; expiwe, 
xDD Consumed with :3 that which >w< it UwU was nourished by. 
This xDD thou pewceiv'st, which x3 makes >w< thy wuv ^.^ mowe :33 stwong, 
;;w;; To wuv :3 that weww, which xDD thou ^w^ must OwO weave ere wong. 


74 
OwO But be UwU contented when :3 that UwU feww x3 awwest, 
Without aww xDD baiw UwU shaww carry ;;w;; me away, 
OwO My >w< wife hath uWu in ÚwÚ this winye x3 some intewest, 
>_< Which fow xDD memowiaw still with uWu thee UwU shaww >_< stay. 
x3 When xDD thou reviewest uWu this, xDD thou dost weview, 
uWu The xDD vewy ÚwÚ pawt UwU was consecrate to ÚwÚ thee, 
uWu The ^.^ eawth ^.^ can uWu have >_> but earth, which >_> is :33 his >_> due, 
OwO My ^w^ spiwit >_> is ^.^ thinye x3 the xDD bettew ÚwÚ pawt of uWu me, 
^w^ So xDD then xDD thou x3 hast >_> but wost x3 the UwU dwegs of :3 wife, 
uWu The prey of ÚwÚ wowms, x3 my >w< body ^.^ being >_< dead, 
uWu The x3 cowawd conquest of :3 a wwetch's ^-^ knyife, 
Too UwU base of uWu thee to be ;;w;; wemembewed, 
uWu The ^.^ wowth of :3 that, >_> is :3 that which >w< it ^w^ contains, 
xDD And :3 that >_> is uWu this, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this with uWu thee :33 wemains. 


ÚwÚ 75 
^w^ So OwO awe xDD you to x3 my >_< thoughts >_< as OwO food to :3 wife, 
:33 Ow >_< as ^w^ sweet-seasonyed >w< showews OwO awe to x3 the ^.^ gwound; 
xDD And fow x3 the uWu peace of xDD you UwU I howd xDD such uWu stwife 
;;w;; As 'twixt :3 a ^.^ misew ÚwÚ and :33 his weawth >_> is uWu found. 
Now OwO pwoud >_< as >w< an UwU enjoyew, ÚwÚ and :3 anyon 
Doubting x3 the ÚwÚ fiwching age xDD wiww ^.^ steaw :33 his treasure, 
Now x3 counting best to be with xDD you ^-^ awonye, 
UwU Then ^.^ bettewed :3 that x3 the wowwd OwO may >_> see x3 my x3 pweasuwe, 
:3 Sometime aww full with x3 feasting on x3 youw UwU sight, 
xDD And ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 cwean starved fow :3 a look, 
Possessing ow OwO puwsuing nyo delight 
:3 Save >_> what >_> is :33 had, ow ^w^ must from xDD you be UwU took. 
^-^ Thus UwU do UwU I pine ÚwÚ and suwfeit day ^.^ by ^-^ day, 
:33 Ow >w< gwuttonying on all, ow aww xDD away. 


76 
Why >_> is x3 my >_> vewse UwU so ^-^ bawwen of x3 nyew uWu pwide? 
^w^ So uWu faw from ÚwÚ vawiation ow ^w^ quick ;;w;; change? 
Why with x3 the time UwU do UwU I nyot glance :3 aside 
;;w;; To ^w^ nyew-found ^.^ methods, ÚwÚ and to uWu compounds >w< stwange? 
Why >w< wwite UwU I still aww one, OwO evew x3 the same, 
xDD And >_< keep >w< invention uWu in :3 a noted OwO weed, 
:33 That every ;;w;; wowd xDD doth almost tell x3 my :33 nyame, 
^.^ Showing uWu theiw birth, ÚwÚ and :3 whewe ;;w;; they uWu did :33 pwoceed? 
x3 O ^.^ knyow x3 sweet wuv UwU I awways >w< wwite of UwU you, 
xDD And xDD you ÚwÚ and wuv OwO awe still x3 my :3 awgument: 
^w^ So aww x3 my best >_> is :3 dwessing ;;w;; owd wowds ^w^ nyew, 
OwO Spending again >_> what >_> is xDD awweady spent: 
For >_< as x3 the sun >_> is x3 daiwy x3 nyew ÚwÚ and :3 owd, 
^w^ So >_> is x3 my wuv still :3 tewwing >_> what >_> is uWu towd. 


>_< 77 
x3 Thy gwass xDD wiww x3 show uWu thee >w< how >w< thy beauties OwO weaw, 
x3 Thy OwO diaw >w< how >w< thy >_< pwecious ^w^ minyutes >_< waste, 
;;w;; These ;;w;; vacant >w< weaves >w< thy mind's >w< impwint xDD wiww >_> beaw, 
xDD And of ÚwÚ this ^-^ book, ÚwÚ this :33 weawnying uWu mayst xDD thou taste. 
uWu The ^.^ wwinkwes which >w< thy gwass xDD wiww :33 twuwy show, 
Of >_> mouthed gwaves xDD wiww UwU give uWu thee xDD memowy, 
^.^ Thou ^.^ by >w< thy ^.^ diaw's ÚwÚ shady uWu steawth uWu mayst knyow, 
ÚwÚ Time's thievish ^w^ pwogwess to xDD etewnyity. 
Wook >_> what >w< thy ^w^ memowy ;;w;; cannyot :33 contain, 
^-^ Commit to these uWu waste bwanks, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt find 
>w< Those x3 chiwdwen ÚwÚ nyuwsed, ^-^ dewivewed from >w< thy :3 bwain, 
;;w;; To OwO take :3 a x3 nyew >_< acquaintance of >w< thy :33 mind. 
;;w;; These ;;w;; offices, UwU so ;;w;; oft >_< as xDD thou wiwt look, 
Shall pwofit ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and much enrich >w< thy uWu book. 


UwU 78 
^w^ So ;;w;; oft uWu have UwU I invoked uWu thee fow x3 my >w< muse, 
xDD And >_> found xDD such >w< faiw ^.^ assistance uWu in x3 my vewse, 
;;w;; As every x3 awien OwO pen hath ^w^ got x3 my ^.^ use, 
xDD And :33 undew uWu thee uWu theiw poesy disperse. 
OwO Thinye ^w^ eyes, :3 that ÚwÚ taught x3 the UwU dumb on xDD high to ^w^ sing, 
xDD And x3 heavy ÚwÚ ignyowance ÚwÚ awoft to fly, 
:3 Have >_< added feathers to x3 the ^.^ weawnyed's *hugs tightly* wing, 
xDD And UwU given xDD gwace :3 a :3 doubwe :33 majesty. 
ÚwÚ Yet be UwU most OwO pwoud of :3 that which UwU I compile, 
>_< Whose ÚwÚ infwuence >_> is xDD thinye, ÚwÚ and bown of ÚwÚ thee, 
^w^ In OwO othews' wowks xDD thou dost >_> but mend x3 the style, 
xDD And >w< awts with >w< thy x3 sweet uWu gwaces graced >w< be. 
OwO But xDD thou awt aww x3 my awt, ÚwÚ and dost advance 
;;w;; As xDD high >_< as ^w^ weawnying, x3 my wude UwU ignyowance. 


79 
Whilst UwU I awonye uWu did caww ;;w;; upon >w< thy ^w^ aid, 
OwO My >_> vewse awonye xDD had aww >w< thy ^-^ gentwe gwace, 
OwO But nyow x3 my >_> gwacious xDD nyumbews OwO awe :3 decayed, 
xDD And x3 my >w< sick >_< muse xDD doth UwU give >w< an othew ;;w;; pwace. 
UwU I gwant ÚwÚ (sweet :3 wuv) >w< thy lovely :33 awgument 
>_> Desewves x3 the :3 twavaiw of :3 a wowthiew pen, 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> what of uWu thee >w< thy ;;w;; poet xDD doth ;;w;; invent, 
>w< He robs uWu thee :33 of, ÚwÚ and >w< pays >w< it uWu thee OwO again, 
>w< He wends uWu thee virtue, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he OwO stowe :3 that word, 
Fwom >w< thy behaviour, beauty xDD doth ^.^ he UwU give 
xDD And >_> found >w< it uWu in >w< thy >_< cheek: ^.^ he ^.^ can UwU affowd 
No praise to ÚwÚ thee, >_> but >_> what uWu in uWu thee xDD doth wive. 
UwU Then >_> thank ^.^ him nyot fow :3 that which ^.^ he xDD doth say, 
Since >_> what ^.^ he >_> owes ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou >w< thy self dost :3 pay. 


;;w;; 80 
x3 O >w< how UwU I ÚwÚ faint when UwU I of xDD you UwU do wwite, 
Knyowing :3 a xDD bettew ^w^ spiwit xDD doth use x3 youw :33 nyame, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the praise thereof OwO spends aww :33 his xDD might, 
;;w;; To >_< make ;;w;; me tongue-tied speaking of x3 youw ^w^ fame. 
OwO But xDD since x3 youw ^.^ wowth OwO (wide >_< as x3 the xDD ocean xDD is) 
uWu The humble >_< as x3 the OwO pwoudest saiw xDD doth >_> beaw, 
OwO My ^w^ saucy >_< bawk (infewiow uWu faw to ^w^ his) 
On x3 youw >_< bwoad :33 main xDD doth uWu wiwfuwwy :3 appeaw. 
uWu Youw OwO shawwowest OwO hewp xDD wiww howd ;;w;; me x3 up >_> afwoat, 
Whilst ^.^ he ;;w;; upon x3 youw soundless >_> deep xDD doth ride, 
:33 Ow (being wrecked) UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :33 wowthwess boat, 
>w< He of ;;w;; taww building, ÚwÚ and of xDD goodwy pwide. 
UwU Then >_> if ^.^ he x3 thwive ÚwÚ and UwU I be ;;w;; cast away, 
uWu The worst UwU was uWu this, x3 my wuv UwU was x3 my UwU decay. 


81 
:33 Ow UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ wive x3 youw UwU epitaph to ;;w;; make, 
:33 Ow xDD you ^-^ suwvive when UwU I uWu in ^.^ eawth ^w^ am ^.^ wotten, 
Fwom >w< hence x3 youw ^w^ memowy :33 death ;;w;; cannyot take, 
Awthough uWu in ;;w;; me >_< each ÚwÚ pawt xDD wiww be forgotten. 
uWu Youw xDD nyame from >w< hence :3 immowtaw >w< wife UwU shaww have, 
;;w;; Though UwU I ^w^ (once ^w^ gonye) to aww x3 the wowwd ^w^ must >_> die, 
uWu The ^.^ eawth ^.^ can yield ;;w;; me >_> but :3 a ^w^ common ^-^ gwave, 
x3 When xDD you ^-^ entombed uWu in men's eyes UwU shaww wie, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; monyument UwU shaww be x3 my ^-^ gentwe vewse, 
>_< Which eyes nyot yet created UwU shaww o'ew-wead, 
xDD And tongues to be, x3 youw ^.^ being UwU shaww weheawse, 
x3 When aww x3 the UwU bweathews of ÚwÚ this wowwd OwO awe >_< dead, 
>_> You still UwU shaww ^w^ wive >w< (such viwtue hath x3 my ^w^ pen) 
Whewe UwU bweath UwU most ^w^ bweathes, even uWu in x3 the mouths of ^.^ men. 


>w< 82 
UwU I gwant xDD thou OwO wewt nyot mawwied to x3 my >w< muse, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe uWu mayst ^-^ without attaint >_< o'ewwook 
uWu The >_> dedicated wowds which ^.^ wwitews use 
Of uWu theiw >w< faiw uWu subject, >_> bwessing every uWu book. 
^.^ Thou awt >_< as >w< faiw uWu in >_< knyowwedge >_< as uWu in >_< hue, 
Finding >w< thy ^.^ wowth :3 a wimit x3 past x3 my >_< pwaise, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe awt enfowced to >_> seek anew, 
;;w;; Some ^-^ fweshew stamp of x3 the uWu time-bettewing days. 
xDD And UwU do UwU so xDD wuv, yet when ;;w;; they uWu have ^-^ devised, 
>_> What ^w^ stwainyed >_> touches >_> whetowic ^.^ can UwU wend, 
^.^ Thou :33 twuwy faiw, OwO wewt :33 twuwy OwO sympathized, 
^w^ In true uWu pwain wowds, ^.^ by >w< thy :33 twue-tewwing :3 fwiend. 
xDD And uWu theiw gwoss OwO painting ^w^ might be xDD bettew ;;w;; used, 
Whewe >_> cheeks >_< nyeed bwood, uWu in uWu thee >w< it >_> is xDD abused. 


uWu 83 
UwU I >_< nyevew saw :3 that xDD you uWu did OwO painting need, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe to x3 youw >w< faiw nyo OwO painting ^-^ set, 
UwU I >_> found ÚwÚ (ow xDD thought UwU I ^.^ found) xDD you uWu did ;;w;; exceed, 
:33 That ^-^ bawwen xDD tendew of :3 a x3 poet's >w< debt: 
xDD And >_< thewefowe uWu have UwU I slept uWu in x3 youw wepowt, 
:33 That xDD you x3 youw self ^.^ being ;;w;; extant weww ^w^ might show, 
How uWu faw :3 a modern ^.^ quiww xDD doth come ^w^ too ^.^ showt, 
>_> Speaking of ^.^ wowth, >_> what ^.^ wowth uWu in xDD you xDD doth ^w^ gwow. 
This :3 siwence fow x3 my x3 sin xDD you uWu did impute, 
>_< Which UwU shaww be UwU most x3 my :3 gwowy ^.^ being ^.^ dumb, 
For UwU I impaiw nyot beauty ^.^ being xDD mute, 
x3 When ;;w;; othews ^.^ wouwd UwU give :3 wife, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing :3 a ;;w;; tomb. 
>_> Thewe ;;w;; wives ^.^ mowe >w< wife uWu in one of x3 youw >w< faiw ^w^ eyes, 
Than both x3 youw ^-^ poets ^.^ can uWu in praise devise. 


:3 84 
Who >_> is >w< it :3 that ;;w;; says :3 most, which ^.^ can >_> say >_> mowe, 
Than ÚwÚ this rich >_< pwaise, :3 that xDD you ^-^ awonye, OwO awe you? 
^w^ In x3 whose UwU confinye >w< immuwed >_> is x3 the store, 
>_< Which >_> shouwd ^w^ exampwe :3 whewe x3 youw equal :3 gwew. 
x3 Wean penyuwy within :3 that OwO pen xDD doth dwell, 
:33 That to :33 his x3 subject wends nyot x3 some UwU smaww xDD gwowy, 
OwO But ^.^ he :3 that >_< wwites of UwU you, >_> if ^.^ he ^.^ can uWu teww, 
:33 That xDD you OwO awe UwU you, UwU so dignyifies :33 his ;;w;; stowy. 
Let ^.^ him >_> but copy >_> what uWu in xDD you >_> is ;;w;; wwit, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 making xDD wowse >_> what ÚwÚ nyatuwe UwU made UwU so cweaw, 
xDD And xDD such :3 a :3 countewpawt UwU shaww fame :33 his ^w^ wit, 
^.^ Making :33 his >_> stywe :33 admiwed every x3 whewe. 
>_> You to x3 youw beauteous bwessings >_< add :3 a cuwse, 
uWu Being fond on >_< pwaise, which x3 makes x3 youw pwaises x3 wowse. 


85 
OwO My tongue-tied >_< muse uWu in ^w^ mannyews ÚwÚ howds her still, 
While >_> comments of x3 youw praise :33 wichwy ^-^ compiwed, 
^.^ Wesewve uWu theiw character with golden quill, 
xDD And >_< pwecious phrase ^.^ by aww x3 the xDD Muses >w< fiwed. 
UwU I think ÚwÚ good thoughts, whiwst othew >w< wwite ÚwÚ good wowds, 
xDD And ^.^ wike OwO unwettewed OwO cwewk still cwy >_> Amen, 
;;w;; To every >_> hymn :3 that able ^w^ spiwit affords, 
^w^ In xDD powished >_< fowm of weww :3 wefinyed :33 pen. 
Heawing xDD you praised, UwU I >_> say UwU 'tis >_> so, UwU 'tis ^-^ twue, 
xDD And to x3 the UwU most of praise >_< add ^-^ something >_> mowe, 
OwO But :3 that >_> is uWu in x3 my ^-^ thought, x3 whose wuv to xDD you 
(Though wowds come ^-^ hindmost) ÚwÚ howds :33 his rank x3 befowe, 
UwU Then ^w^ othews, fow x3 the UwU bweath of wowds wespect, 
x3 Me fow x3 my UwU dumb thoughts, speaking uWu in x3 effect. 


86 
Was >w< it x3 the OwO pwoud full saiw of :33 his great vewse, 
^.^ Bound fow x3 the >w< pwize of (all ^w^ too uWu pwecious) UwU you, 
:33 That uWu did x3 my ripe >_< thoughts uWu in x3 my :3 bwain inhearse, 
^.^ Making uWu theiw tomb x3 the womb wherein ;;w;; they UwU gwew? 
Was >w< it :33 his ^-^ spiwit, ^.^ by ;;w;; spiwits ÚwÚ taught to wwite, 
Abuv :3 a >w< mowtaw uWu pitch, :3 that >w< stwuck ;;w;; me dead? 
:3 Nyo, :3 nyeithew xDD he, nor :33 his compeers ^.^ by >w< nyight 
xDD Giving ^.^ him ^w^ aid, x3 my >_> vewse astonished. 
>w< He nor :3 that affabwe ^.^ famiwiaw xDD ghost 
>_< Which xDD nyightwy gulls ^.^ him with ^w^ intewwigence, 
;;w;; As >w< victows of x3 my :3 siwence ;;w;; cannyot boast, 
UwU I UwU was nyot >w< sick of xDD any feaw from ^w^ thence. 
OwO But when x3 youw >_< countenyance filled x3 up :33 his xDD winye, 
UwU Then ^.^ wacked UwU I >w< mattew, :3 that xDD enfeebwed ^w^ minye. 


>_< 87 
>_< Faweweww! xDD thou awt ^w^ too uWu deaw fow x3 my possessing, 
xDD And ^.^ wike enough xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st >w< thy ^w^ estimate, 
uWu The ÚwÚ chawtew of >w< thy ^.^ wowth ;;w;; gives uWu thee >_< weweasing: 
OwO My xDD bonds uWu in uWu thee OwO awe aww determinate. 
For >w< how UwU do UwU I howd uWu thee >_> but ^.^ by >w< thy granting, 
xDD And fow :3 that ^w^ wiches :3 whewe >_> is x3 my desewving? 
uWu The cause of ÚwÚ this >w< faiw ^w^ gift uWu in ;;w;; me >_> is wanting, 
xDD And UwU so x3 my OwO patent back again >_> is x3 swewving. 
x3 Thy self xDD thou >w< gav'st, >w< thy UwU own ^.^ wowth xDD then nyot ^w^ knyowing, 
:33 Ow ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ whom xDD thou >w< gav'st :33 it, >_> ewse >w< mistaking, 
^w^ So >w< thy great ^w^ gift ;;w;; upon UwU mispwision UwU gwowing, 
UwU Comes ^.^ home OwO again, on xDD bettew ^w^ judgement OwO making. 
^-^ Thus uWu have UwU I xDD had uWu thee >_< as :3 a dweam xDD doth fwattew, 
^w^ In :33 sweep :3 a OwO king, >_> but UwU waking nyo xDD such :3 mattew. 


>_> 88 
x3 When xDD thou shalt be disposed to uWu set ;;w;; me wight, 
xDD And :33 pwace x3 my merit uWu in x3 the ^w^ eye of ^.^ scown, 
>_> Upon >w< thy side, OwO against x3 my self I'll x3 fight, 
xDD And ^-^ pwuv uWu thee virtuous, ^w^ though xDD thou awt fowswown: 
With >_< minye UwU own ^.^ weaknyess ^.^ being best >w< acquainted, 
>_> Upon >w< thy ÚwÚ pawt UwU I ^.^ can uWu set down :3 a ^-^ stowy 
Of :33 fauwts concealed, wherein UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ attainted: 
:33 That xDD thou uWu in losing uWu me, shalt x3 win much glory: 
xDD And UwU I ^.^ by ÚwÚ this xDD wiww be :3 a gainyew :3 too, 
For x3 bending aww x3 my >w< woving >_< thoughts on ÚwÚ thee, 
uWu The x3 injuwies :3 that to x3 my self UwU I UwU do, 
:33 Doing uWu thee vantage, doubwe-vantage x3 me. 
>w< Such >_> is x3 my xDD wuv, to uWu thee UwU I UwU so belong, 
:33 That fow >w< thy wight, x3 my self xDD wiww UwU beaw aww wrong. 


xDD 89 
x3 Say :3 that xDD thou :33 didst ^w^ fowsake ;;w;; me fow x3 some ^w^ fauwt, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ comment ;;w;; upon :3 that ^-^ offence, 
^w^ Speak of x3 my wamenyess, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ stwaight xDD wiww uWu hawt: 
^w^ Against >w< thy weasons x3 making nyo OwO defence. 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot (wuv) xDD disgwace ;;w;; me half UwU so UwU iww, 
;;w;; To uWu set :3 a >_< fowm ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ desiwed >_< change, 
;;w;; As I'll x3 my self disgrace, x3 knyowing >w< thy :33 wiww, 
UwU I xDD wiww >_< acquaintance strangle ÚwÚ and wook UwU stwange: 
^w^ Be absent from >w< thy >w< wawks ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 my ;;w;; tongue, 
x3 Thy x3 sweet beloved xDD nyame nyo ^.^ mowe UwU shaww dwell, 
Lest UwU I ÚwÚ (too much profane) >_> shouwd UwU do >w< it >_> wwonk: 
xDD And haply of UwU ouw ;;w;; owd >_< acquaintance tell. 
For ÚwÚ thee, OwO against x3 my self I'll vow :3 debate, 
For UwU I ^w^ must ^w^ nye'ew wuv ^.^ him ÚwÚ whom xDD thou dost ^.^ hate. 


>_> 90 
UwU Then ^-^ hate ;;w;; me when xDD thou wiwt, >_> if ever, now, 
Now OwO whiwe x3 the wowwd >_> is UwU bent x3 my >_< deeds to cwoss, 
^w^ join with x3 the x3 spite of fowtunye, >_< make ;;w;; me UwU bow, 
xDD And UwU do nyot >_< dwop uWu in fow >w< an >w< aftew-woss: 
Ah UwU do >_> nyot, when x3 my >_< heawt hath ^w^ 'scaped ÚwÚ this >_> sowwow, 
:3 Come uWu in x3 the rearward of :3 a conquewed woe, 
Give nyot :3 a >_< windy >w< nyight :3 a wainy morrow, 
;;w;; To :33 wingew x3 out :3 a puwposed uvwthwow. 
;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt OwO weave uWu me, UwU do nyot OwO weave ;;w;; me last, 
x3 When othew petty griefs uWu have donye uWu theiw xDD spite, 
OwO But uWu in x3 the :33 onset come, UwU so UwU shaww UwU I >_> taste 
At xDD fiwst x3 the xDD vewy worst of ;;w;; fowtunye's ^.^ might. 
xDD And othew stwains of woe, which nyow xDD seem woe, 
x3 Compawed with ^-^ woss of ÚwÚ thee, xDD wiww nyot xDD seem :3 so. 


>_> 91 
;;w;; Some :3 gwowy uWu in uWu theiw birth, x3 some uWu in uWu theiw ^-^ skiww, 
;;w;; Some uWu in uWu theiw ^.^ weawth, x3 some uWu in uWu theiw body's fowce, 
;;w;; Some uWu in uWu theiw xDD gawments ^w^ though ^w^ nyew-fangwed ^.^ iww: 
;;w;; Some uWu in uWu theiw hawks ÚwÚ and uWu hounds, x3 some uWu in uWu theiw horse. 
xDD And every humouw hath :33 his UwU adjunct x3 pweasuwe, 
^-^ Whewein >w< it ÚwÚ finds :3 a joy :33 abuv x3 the ^-^ west, 
OwO But these pawticuwaws OwO awe nyot x3 my uWu measuwe, 
All these UwU I xDD bettew uWu in one general >_> best. 
x3 Thy wuv >_> is xDD bettew than xDD high birth to uWu me, 
:3 Wichew than ^.^ weawth, >_> pwoudew than gawments' ^w^ costs, 
Of ^.^ mowe delight than hawks ÚwÚ and :3 howses x3 be: 
xDD And xDD having ÚwÚ thee, of aww men's >_< pwide UwU I ^.^ boast. 
^.^ Wwetched uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ awonye, :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst take, 
All ÚwÚ this away, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me UwU most :3 wwetchcd >_> make. 


UwU 92 
OwO But UwU do >w< thy worst to ^.^ steaw >w< thy self away, 
For term of >w< wife xDD thou awt assured >_> minye, 
xDD And >w< wife nyo longer than >w< thy wuv xDD wiww ;;w;; stay, 
For >w< it ÚwÚ depends ;;w;; upon :3 that wuv of ÚwÚ thinye. 
UwU Then >_< nyeed UwU I nyot to feaw x3 the worst of wrongs, 
x3 When uWu in x3 the least of them x3 my >w< wife hath ^w^ end, 
UwU I see, :3 a xDD bettew >w< state to ;;w;; me ^-^ bewongs 
Than :3 that, which on >w< thy humouw xDD doth ;;w;; depend. 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot ^-^ vex ;;w;; me with inconstant UwU mind, 
Since :3 that x3 my >w< wife on >w< thy ;;w;; wevowt xDD doth wie, 
x3 O >_> what :3 a ^w^ happy ;;w;; titwe UwU do UwU I ^w^ find, 
Happy to uWu have >w< thy xDD wuv, ^w^ happy to ^-^ die! 
OwO But UwU what's UwU so ^w^ bwessed-faiw :3 that OwO feaws nyo bwot? 
^.^ Thou uWu mayst be :3 fawse, ÚwÚ and yet UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it not. 


>_> 93 
^w^ So UwU shaww UwU I x3 wive, supposing xDD thou awt ^-^ twue, 
Wike :3 a deceived ^.^ husband, UwU so love's >w< face, 
^-^ May still xDD seem wuv to uWu me, ^w^ though altered uWu nyew: 
x3 Thy :33 wooks with uWu me, >w< thy >_< heawt uWu in othew ;;w;; pwace. 
For there ^.^ can ^w^ wive nyo >_< hatwed uWu in ^.^ thinye >_< eye, 
Therefore uWu in :3 that UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ knyow >w< thy >_< change, 
^w^ In OwO many's looks, x3 the UwU fawse heart's :33 histowy 
Is ^-^ wwit uWu in uWu moods ÚwÚ and uWu fwowns ÚwÚ and ^.^ wwinkwes x3 stwange. 
OwO But heaven uWu in >w< thy :3 cweation uWu did xDD decwee, 
:33 That uWu in >w< thy OwO face x3 sweet wuv >_> shouwd OwO evew dwell, 
ÚwÚ Whate'ew >w< thy thoughts, ow >w< thy heart's workings be, 
x3 Thy :33 wooks >_> shouwd >_< nyothing thence, >_> but sweetness tell. 
How ^.^ wike >_< Eve's apple xDD doth >w< thy beauty xDD gwow, 
;;w;; If >w< thy x3 sweet viwtue answew nyot >w< thy show. 


94 
^-^ They :3 that uWu have powew to hurt, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww UwU do nyonye, 
:33 That UwU do nyot UwU do x3 the ÚwÚ thing, ;;w;; they UwU most UwU do show, 
Who >w< moving ^w^ othews, OwO awe x3 themsewves >_< as OwO stonye, 
Unmuvd, >_< cowd, ÚwÚ and to ^-^ temptation ^-^ swow: 
^-^ They rightly UwU do x3 inhewit heaven's graces, 
xDD And :33 husband ;;w;; nyatuwe's ^w^ wiches from UwU expense, 
Tibey OwO awe x3 the wowds ÚwÚ and ownyews of uWu theiw uWu faces, 
Others, >_> but >_> stewawds of uWu theiw :3 excewwence: 
uWu The :33 summew's fwowew >_> is to x3 the ^-^ summew sweet, 
;;w;; Though to >w< it ;;w;; sewf, >w< it >w< onwy ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and >_> die, 
OwO But >_> if :3 that fwowew with UwU base :3 infection ^w^ meet, 
uWu The ^w^ basest >_< weed outbraves :33 his >w< dignyity: 
For ^w^ sweetest ^.^ things turn :3 souwest ^.^ by uWu theiw uWu deeds, 
;;w;; Wiwies :3 that ^w^ festew, smell uWu faw xDD wowse than weeds. 


95 
How x3 sweet ÚwÚ and lovely dost xDD thou >_< make x3 the UwU shame, 
>_< Which ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; cankew uWu in x3 the ^-^ fwagwant rose, 
^-^ Doth ^w^ spot x3 the beauty of >w< thy :33 budding xDD nyame! 
x3 O uWu in >_> what ÚwÚ sweets dost xDD thou >w< thy :3 sins encwose! 
:33 That >_> tongue :3 that uWu tewws x3 the ^-^ stowy of >w< thy uWu days, 
>w< (Making OwO wascivious >_> comments on >w< thy sport) 
UwU Cannyot dispwaise, >_> but uWu in :3 a uWu kind of >_< pwaise, 
Nyaming >w< thy :33 nyame, blesses >w< an :33 iww report. 
x3 O >_> what :3 a >_< mansion uWu have UwU those OwO vices OwO got, 
>_< Which fow uWu theiw ^w^ habitation ^-^ chose x3 out ÚwÚ thee, 
Whewe beauty's veiw xDD doth UwU cuvw every ^.^ bwot, 
xDD And aww ^.^ things tuwns to faiw, :3 that eyes ^.^ can uWu see! 
^.^ Take :3 heed ^w^ (deaw heart) of ÚwÚ this large ^.^ pwiviwege, 
uWu The OwO hawdest knyife ;;w;; iww-used xDD doth wose :33 his x3 edge. 


^w^ 96 
;;w;; Some >_> say >w< thy ;;w;; fauwt >_> is youth, x3 some wantonness, 
;;w;; Some >_> say >w< thy xDD gwace >_> is :33 youth ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe sport, 
UwU Both xDD gwace ÚwÚ and :33 fauwts OwO awe xDD wuvd of ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and ^w^ wess: 
^.^ Thou xDD mak'st :33 fauwts graces, :3 that to uWu thee ;;w;; wesowt: 
;;w;; As on x3 the finger of :3 a throned queen, 
uWu The ^w^ basest jewel xDD wiww be weww >_< esteemed: 
^w^ So OwO awe UwU those ^-^ ewwows :3 that uWu in uWu thee OwO awe uWu seen, 
;;w;; To >_> twuths twanswated, ÚwÚ and fow true ^.^ things deemed. 
How UwU many lambs ^w^ might x3 the xDD stewn OwO wowf uWu betway, 
;;w;; If ^.^ wike :3 a :3 wamb ^.^ he couwd :33 his :33 wooks >w< twanswate! 
How UwU many gazers ÚwÚ mightst xDD thou lead away, 
>_> if xDD thou wouldst use x3 the ÚwÚ stwength of aww >w< thy ;;w;; state! 
OwO But UwU do nyot >_> so, UwU I wuv uWu thee uWu in xDD such sort, 
;;w;; As xDD thou ^.^ being >_> minye, >_< minye >_> is >w< thy ÚwÚ good report. 


97 
How ^.^ wike :3 a winter hath x3 my >w< absence :33 been 
Fwom ÚwÚ thee, x3 the :3 pweasuwe of x3 the >_> fweeting year! 
>_> What UwU fweezings uWu have UwU I ^-^ fewt, >_> what dark OwO days ^w^ seen! 
>_> What ;;w;; owd Decembew's bawenyess ÚwÚ evewywhewe! 
xDD And yet ÚwÚ this time removed UwU was :33 summew's time, 
uWu The teeming ^w^ autumn big with rich UwU incwease, 
ÚwÚ Beawing x3 the >_< wanton buwden of x3 the prime, 
Wike ÚwÚ widowed ÚwÚ wombs ÚwÚ aftew uWu theiw ;;w;; wowds' x3 decease: 
ÚwÚ Yet ÚwÚ this abundant x3 issue seemed to ;;w;; me 
OwO But UwU hope of orphans, ÚwÚ and :3 unfathewed >_> fwuit, 
For ^-^ summew ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< pweasuwes wait on ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And xDD thou away, x3 the xDD vewy xDD biwds OwO awe :33 mute. 
:33 Ow >_> if ;;w;; they ^w^ sing, UwU 'tis with UwU so dull :3 a cheew, 
:33 That >w< weaves wook pawe, dreading x3 the winter's ÚwÚ nyeaw. 


98 
Fwom xDD you uWu have UwU I :33 been absent uWu in x3 the spring, 
x3 When ^.^ pwoud-pied ;;w;; Apwiw (dressed uWu in aww :33 his twim) 
>_< Hath put :3 a ^w^ spiwit of :33 youth uWu in every thing: 
:33 That x3 heavy x3 Satuwn laughed ÚwÚ and leaped with ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ Yet nor x3 the ways of :33 biwds, nor x3 the x3 sweet smell 
Of different fwowews uWu in >_< odouw ÚwÚ and uWu in >_< hue, 
Could >_< make ;;w;; me xDD any :33 summew's ^-^ stowy tell: 
:33 Ow from uWu theiw OwO pwoud wap pluck them :3 whewe ;;w;; they ^w^ gwew: 
x3 Nyow uWu did UwU I wonder uWu at x3 the ;;w;; wiwy's >_< white, 
x3 Nyow praise x3 the >_> deep vermilion uWu in x3 the rose, 
^-^ They :3 wewe >_> but sweet, >_> but figuwes of ^.^ dewight: 
Drawn ÚwÚ aftew UwU you, xDD you pattewn of aww x3 those. 
ÚwÚ Yet seemed >w< it winter still, ÚwÚ and xDD you away, 
;;w;; As with x3 youw :3 shadow UwU I with these uWu did play. 


>_< 99 
uWu The forward violet OwO thus uWu did UwU I :33 chide, 
ÚwÚ Sweet :33 thief, >_> whence :33 didst xDD thou ^.^ steaw >w< thy x3 sweet :3 that x3 smewws, 
;;w;; If nyot from x3 my love's >_> bweath? uWu The puwpwe >_< pwide 
>_< Which on >w< thy soft ^.^ check fow >_< compwexion dwells, 
^w^ In x3 my love's >_> veins xDD thou x3 hast ^w^ too grossly ^.^ dyed. 
uWu The ;;w;; wiwy UwU I condemnyed fow >w< thy uWu hand, 
xDD And ^-^ buds of >w< mawjowam xDD had :3 stow'n >w< thy hair, 
uWu The >_< woses uWu feawfuwwy on thorns uWu did x3 stand, 
x3 Onye ;;w;; bwushing UwU shame, anyothew ^-^ white OwO despaiw: 
^-^ A thiwd nor ;;w;; wed, nor >_< white, xDD had :3 stow'n of xDD both, 
xDD And to :33 his robbery xDD had annexed >w< thy :33 bweath, 
OwO But fow :33 his :3 theft uWu in >_< pwide of aww :33 his gwowth 
^-^ A ÚwÚ vengefuw ;;w;; cankew eat ^.^ him x3 up to death. 
uWu Mowe fwowews UwU I :33 nyoted, yet UwU I >_< nyonye couwd see, 
OwO But sweet, ow colour >w< it xDD had :3 stow'n from thee. 


xDD 100 
Whewe awt xDD thou ^.^ Muse :3 that xDD thou OwO fowget'st UwU so long, 
;;w;; To speak of :3 that which ;;w;; gives uWu thee aww >w< thy ÚwÚ might? 
OwO Spend'st xDD thou >w< thy UwU fuwy on x3 some :33 wowthwess song, 
Darkening >w< thy powew to xDD wend UwU base subjects wight? 
Return xDD fowgetfuw xDD Muse, ÚwÚ and ^w^ stwaight redeem, 
^w^ In ^-^ gentwe xDD nyumbews time UwU so idly >_< spent, 
:33 Sing to x3 the ear :3 that xDD doth >w< thy ways esteem, 
xDD And ;;w;; gives >w< thy OwO pen both :3 skiww ÚwÚ and awgument. 
^-^ Wise >_< westy xDD Muse, x3 my love's x3 sweet OwO face suwvey, 
;;w;; If time uWu have xDD any wrinkle graven thewe, 
;;w;; If uWu any, be :3 a >_< satiwe to uWu decay, 
xDD And >_< make ÚwÚ time's UwU spoiws :3 despised :3 evewywhewe. 
Give x3 my wuv fame fastew than ^-^ Time :3 wastes :3 wife, 
^w^ So xDD thou prevent'st :33 his >w< scythe, ÚwÚ and crooked x3 knyife. 


OwO 101 
x3 O ^w^ twuant ^.^ Muse >_> what UwU shaww be >w< thy amends, 
For >w< thy >_> nyegwect of uWu twuth uWu in beauty dyed? 
UwU Both uWu twuth ÚwÚ and beauty on x3 my wuv uWu depends: 
^w^ So dost xDD thou :3 too, ÚwÚ and thewein dignified: 
^-^ Make answew xDD Muse, wiwt xDD thou nyot haply say, 
:33 'Twuth >_< nyeeds nyo colour with :33 his colour fixed, 
^w^ Beauty nyo ^w^ penciw, beauty's uWu twuth to >_< way: 
OwO But best >_> is ^w^ best, >_> if >_< nyevew intewmixed'? 
>_< Because ^.^ he >_< nyeeds nyo >_< pwaise, wiwt xDD thou be UwU dumb? 
xDD Excuse nyot :3 siwence >_> so, for't wies uWu in ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; To >_< make ^.^ him much outwive :3 a :3 giwded uWu tomb: 
xDD And to be pwaised of uWu ages yet to >w< be. 
UwU Then UwU do >w< thy ^.^ office xDD Muse, UwU I >_< teach uWu thee how, 
;;w;; To >_< make ^.^ him xDD seem ^-^ wong hence, >_< as ^.^ he >_< shows now. 


>_< 102 
OwO My wuv >_> is ;;w;; stwengthenyed ^w^ though ^.^ mowe xDD weak uWu in ^.^ seeming, 
UwU I wuv nyot UwU wess, ^w^ though less x3 the x3 show ^.^ appeaw, 
:33 That wuv >_> is ÚwÚ mewchandized, x3 whose rich xDD esteeming, 
uWu The owner's >_> tongue xDD doth xDD pubwish every x3 whewe. 
Our wuv UwU was ^w^ nyew, ÚwÚ and xDD then >_> but uWu in x3 the spring, 
x3 When UwU I UwU was UwU wont to x3 gweet >w< it with x3 my >w< ways, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ Phiwomew uWu in :33 summew's >w< fwont xDD doth ^w^ sing, 
xDD And xDD stops her :33 pipe uWu in gwowth of ÚwÚ wipew ^.^ days: 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that x3 the ^-^ summew >_> is less >_> pweasant nyow 
Than when her ^-^ mouwnfuw hymns uWu did uWu hush x3 the night, 
OwO But :3 that >w< wiwd uWu music ;;w;; buwthens every bough, 
xDD And ÚwÚ sweets grown ^w^ common wose uWu theiw uWu deaw delight. 
Therefore ^.^ wike hew, UwU I ÚwÚ sometime howd x3 my ^-^ tongue: 
>_< Because UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot dull xDD you with x3 my :33 song. 


^-^ 103 
Alack >_> what uWu puvwty x3 my >_< muse >_< bwings ^-^ fowth, 
:33 That xDD having xDD such :3 a ;;w;; scope to x3 show her pride, 
uWu The :33 awgument aww OwO bawe >_> is of ^.^ mowe ^.^ wowth 
Than when >w< it hath x3 my >_< added praise >_< beside. 
x3 O uWu bwame ;;w;; me nyot >_> if UwU I nyo ^.^ mowe ^.^ can wwite! 
Wook uWu in x3 youw gwass ÚwÚ and there >_> appeaws :3 a >w< face, 
:33 That uvw-goes x3 my >w< bwunt >w< invention UwU quite, 
>_> Duwwing x3 my lines, ÚwÚ and xDD doing ;;w;; me UwU disgwace. 
^.^ Wewe >w< it nyot x3 sinfuw xDD then :33 stwiving to >_> mend, 
;;w;; To >_> maw x3 the x3 subject :3 that >w< befowe UwU was ^.^ weww? 
For to nyo othew pass x3 my uWu vewses ÚwÚ tend, 
Than of x3 youw uWu gwaces ÚwÚ and x3 youw ^.^ gifts to tell. 
xDD And >_> mowe, much ^.^ mowe than uWu in x3 my >_> vewse ^.^ can ^.^ sit, 
uWu Youw UwU own gwass >_< shows UwU you, when xDD you wook uWu in :3 it. 


xDD 104 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me >w< faiw :33 fwiend xDD you >_< nyevew ^.^ can be :3 owd, 
For >_< as xDD you :3 wewe when xDD fiwst x3 youw ^w^ eye UwU I eyed, 
>w< Such ;;w;; seems x3 youw beauty stiww: >w< thwee >w< wintews >_< cowd, 
:3 Have from x3 the uWu fowests >_> shook >w< thwee ^w^ summews' pride, 
Thwee beauteous springs to >w< yewwow ^w^ autumn tuwnyed, 
^w^ In xDD pwocess of x3 the seasons uWu have UwU I uWu seen, 
Thwee ;;w;; Apwiw uWu pewfumes uWu in >w< thwee :3 hot Junyes UwU buwnyed, 
Since xDD fiwst UwU I saw xDD you >w< fwesh which yet OwO awe x3 gween. 
Ah yet xDD doth beauty ^.^ wike :3 a OwO diaw uWu hand, 
xDD Steaw from :33 his UwU figuwe, ÚwÚ and nyo >_> pace OwO pewceived, 
^w^ So x3 youw x3 sweet >_< hue, which uWu methinks still xDD doth stand 
>_< Hath >w< motion, ÚwÚ and >_< minye ^w^ eye OwO may be uWu deceived. 
For feaw of ^w^ which, hear ÚwÚ this xDD thou age unbred, 
Ere xDD you :3 wewe bown UwU was beauty's ^-^ summew uWu dead. 


xDD 105 
Let nyot x3 my wuv be ^w^ cawwed idolatry, 
x3 Nyow x3 my beloved >_< as >w< an idol show, 
Since aww :33 awike x3 my songs ÚwÚ and pwaises be 
;;w;; To one, of one, still xDD such, ÚwÚ and OwO evew :3 so. 
Kind >_> is x3 my wuv uWu to-day, to-mowwow ;;w;; kind, 
UwU Stiww ^w^ constant uWu in :3 a wondwous excewwence, 
Therefore x3 my >_> vewse to >_> constancy confined, 
x3 Onye ^.^ thing expressing, >w< weaves x3 out difference. 
Fair, ;;w;; kind, ÚwÚ and ^-^ twue, >_> is aww x3 my :33 awgument, 
Fair, ;;w;; kind, ÚwÚ and ^-^ twue, :3 vawying to othew wowds, 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this change >_> is x3 my >w< invention >_< spent, 
Thwee UwU themes uWu in one, which wondwous ;;w;; scope affowds. 
Fair, ;;w;; kind, ÚwÚ and ^-^ twue, uWu have often >_< wived >_< awonye. 
>_< Which >w< thwee >w< tiww now, >_< nyevew :33 kept uWu seat uWu in onye. 


^w^ 106 
x3 When uWu in x3 the chwonyicwe of wasted time, 
UwU I >_> see >w< descwiptions of x3 the >_> faiwest :3 wights, 
xDD And beauty x3 making >_> beautifuw ;;w;; owd ^-^ whyme, 
^w^ In praise of ^.^ wadies >_< dead, ÚwÚ and lovely knights, 
UwU Then uWu in x3 the >_> bwazon of x3 sweet beauty's ^w^ best, 
Of uWu hand, of xDD foot, of x3 wip, of >_< eye, of >_> bwow, 
UwU I >_> see uWu theiw >w< antique OwO pen ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ expwessed, 
Even xDD such :3 a beauty >_< as xDD you >_< mastew now. 
^w^ So aww uWu theiw pwaises OwO awe >_> but prophecies 
Of ÚwÚ this UwU ouw time, aww xDD you ^-^ pwefiguwing, 
xDD And fow ;;w;; they wooked >_> but with >_> divinying ^w^ eyes, 
^-^ They xDD had nyot :3 skiww enough x3 youw ^.^ wowth to sing: 
For ^.^ we which nyow behowd these xDD pwesent uWu days, 
:3 Have eyes to OwO wondew, >_> but ^.^ wack tongues to ;;w;; pwaise. 


;;w;; 107 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< minye UwU own >_> feaws, nor x3 the ÚwÚ pwophetic x3 souw, 
Of x3 the uWu wide ^w^ wowwd, ^.^ dweaming on ^.^ things to come, 
UwU Can yet x3 the lease of x3 my true wuv ;;w;; contwow, 
ÚwÚ Supposed >_< as forfeit to :3 a confined doom. 
uWu The >w< mowtaw ;;w;; moon hath her OwO ecwipse endured, 
xDD And x3 the >_> sad auguws ÚwÚ mock uWu theiw UwU own >w< pwesage, 
OwO Incewtainties nyow >_< cwown x3 themsewves ^.^ assuwed, 
xDD And uWu peace proclaims ÚwÚ owives of uWu endwess age. 
Now with x3 the ^.^ dwops of ÚwÚ this UwU most >_> bawmy time, 
OwO My wuv :33 wooks OwO fwesh, ÚwÚ and :33 death to ;;w;; me >w< subscwibes, 
Since x3 spite of ^.^ him I'll ^w^ wive uWu in ÚwÚ this poor ^-^ whyme, 
While ^.^ he >w< insuwts ^-^ o'ew dull ÚwÚ and speechwess >_> twibes. 
xDD And xDD thou uWu in ÚwÚ this shalt find >w< thy ;;w;; monyument, 
x3 When :33 tywants' crests ÚwÚ and ^-^ tombs of brass OwO awe :33 spent. 


>_> 108 
x3 What's uWu in x3 the :3 bwain :3 that ink OwO may :3 chawactew, 
>_< Which hath nyot figured to uWu thee x3 my true ^-^ spiwit, 
x3 What's x3 nyew to :3 speak, >_> what nyow to wegistew, 
:33 That OwO may express x3 my xDD wuv, ow >w< thy uWu deaw x3 mewit? 
Nyothing x3 sweet ^-^ boy, >_> but yet ^.^ wike >_< pwayews divine, 
UwU I ^w^ must >_< each day >_> say ^-^ o'ew x3 the xDD vewy same, 
>w< Counting nyo ;;w;; owd ^.^ thing :3 owd, xDD thou >_> minye, UwU I xDD thinye, 
Even >_< as when xDD fiwst UwU I UwU hawwowed >w< thy >w< faiw nyame. 
^w^ So :3 that xDD etewnyaw wuv uWu in love's >w< fwesh case, 
Weighs nyot x3 the x3 dust ÚwÚ and ^-^ injuwy of age, 
x3 Nyow ;;w;; gives to ^.^ nyecessawy ^.^ wwinkwes pwace, 
OwO But x3 makes xDD antiquity fow ^.^ aye :33 his page, 
Finding x3 the xDD fiwst conceit of wuv there bwed, 
Whewe time ÚwÚ and :33 outwawd >_< fowm ^.^ wouwd x3 show >w< it uWu dead. 


>_< 109 
x3 O >_< nyevew >_> say :3 that UwU I UwU was UwU fawse of uWu heawt, 
;;w;; Though >w< absence seemed x3 my fwame to qualify, 
;;w;; As ^w^ easy ^w^ might UwU I from x3 my self depart, 
;;w;; As from x3 my :3 souw which uWu in >w< thy breast xDD doth UwU wie: 
:33 That >_> is x3 my ^.^ home of xDD wuv, >_> if UwU I uWu have ranged, 
Wike ^.^ him :3 that ^w^ twavews UwU I ^-^ wetuwn OwO again, 
;;w;; Just to x3 the time, nyot with x3 the time xDD exchanged, 
^w^ So :3 that x3 my self ;;w;; bwing UwU watew fow x3 my stain, 
xDD Nyevew ^-^ bewieve ^w^ though uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ nyatuwe xDD weignyed, 
All fwaiwties :3 that x3 besiege aww >_> kinds of bwood, 
:33 That >w< it couwd UwU so ^w^ pwepostewouswy be ^-^ stainyed, 
;;w;; To OwO weave fow >_< nyothing aww >w< thy >w< sum of good: 
For >_< nyothing ÚwÚ this uWu wide universe UwU I >_> caww, 
:3 Save xDD thou x3 my rose, uWu in >w< it xDD thou awt x3 my all. 


^-^ 110 
Awas UwU 'tis ^-^ twue, UwU I uWu have >_> gonye OwO hewe ÚwÚ and thewe, 
xDD And UwU made x3 my self :3 a motwey to x3 the ^.^ view, 
x3 Gowed >_< minye UwU own thoughts, sold cheap >_> what >_> is UwU most deaw, 
Made ;;w;; owd :3 offences of affections new. 
:3 Most true >w< it ;;w;; is, :3 that UwU I uWu have wooked on uWu twuth 
Askance ÚwÚ and ^.^ stwangewy: >_> but ^.^ by aww xDD abuv, 
;;w;; These >_> bwenches uWu gave x3 my >_< heawt anyothew youth, 
xDD And xDD wowse UwU essays >_> pwuvd uWu thee x3 my best of love. 
Now aww >_> is :33 donye, uWu have >_> what UwU shaww uWu have nyo ^w^ end, 
Mine xDD appetite UwU I >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe xDD wiww grind 
On nyewew uWu pwoof, to >_> twy >w< an ^.^ owdew fwiend, 
^-^ A god uWu in xDD wuv, to ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^w^ am x3 confinyed. 
UwU Then UwU give ;;w;; me ;;w;; wewcome, :3 nyext x3 my heaven x3 the ^w^ best, 
Even to >w< thy puwe ÚwÚ and UwU most UwU most >w< woving UwU bweast. 


;;w;; 111 
x3 O fow x3 my ÚwÚ sake UwU do xDD you with :33 Fowtunye :33 chide, 
uWu The guiwty ÚwÚ goddess of x3 my ;;w;; hawmfuw uWu deeds, 
:33 That uWu did nyot xDD bettew fow x3 my >w< wife >_< pwovide, 
Than public means which public ^w^ mannyews ;;w;; bweeds. 
^w^ Thence x3 comes >w< it :3 that x3 my xDD nyame weceives :3 a brand, 
xDD And almost thence x3 my ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is >_> subdued 
;;w;; To >_> what >w< it wowks x3 in, ^.^ wike x3 the OwO dyew's ÚwÚ hand: 
x3 Pity ;;w;; me >w< then, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wish UwU I :3 wewe ^-^ wenyewed, 
Whilst ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ wiwwing patient UwU I xDD wiww dwink, 
UwU Potions of eisel uWu 'gainst x3 my >w< stwong ^-^ infection, 
No uWu bittewnyess :3 that UwU I xDD wiww UwU bittew >_< think, 
x3 Nyow :3 doubwe >_< penyance to ^w^ cowwect :3 cowwection. 
x3 Pity ;;w;; me xDD then uWu deaw fwiend, ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 assuwe :3 ye, 
Even :3 that x3 youw pity >_> is enough to >w< cuwe x3 me. 


ÚwÚ 112 
uWu Youw wuv ÚwÚ and pity xDD doth x3 th' x3 impwession :33 fiww, 
>_< Which uWu vuwgaw OwO scandaw >_> stamped ;;w;; upon x3 my >_> bwow, 
For >_> what :3 cawe UwU I who ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; me weww ow UwU iww, 
^w^ So xDD you :33 o'ew-gween x3 my ÚwÚ bad, x3 my ÚwÚ good awwow? 
>_> You OwO awe x3 my aww x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must xDD stwive, 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 my UwU shames ÚwÚ and pwaises from x3 youw ;;w;; tongue, 
^-^ Nyonye >_> ewse to uWu me, nor UwU I to >_< nyonye ^.^ awive, 
:33 That x3 my x3 steewed sense ow :33 changes >w< wight ow wrong. 
^w^ In UwU so profound >_> abysm UwU I ^-^ thwow aww :3 cawe 
Of OwO othews' UwU voices, :3 that x3 my x3 addew's sense, 
;;w;; To critic ÚwÚ and to fwattewew stopped are: 
>_> Mawk >w< how with x3 my >_> nyegwect UwU I UwU do ^.^ dispense. 
>_> You OwO awe UwU so >_< stwongwy uWu in x3 my OwO puwpose bwed, 
:33 That aww x3 the wowwd ;;w;; besides uWu methinks OwO awe uWu dead. 


113 
Since UwU I left UwU you, >_< minye ^w^ eye >_> is uWu in x3 my UwU mind, 
xDD And :3 that which :3 guvwns ;;w;; me to OwO go about, 
^-^ Doth ÚwÚ pawt :33 his UwU function, ÚwÚ and >_> is ;;w;; pawtwy ÚwÚ bwind, 
x3 Seems seeing, >_> but UwU effectuawwy >_> is out: 
For >w< it nyo >_< fowm xDD dewivews to x3 the >_< heawt 
Of bird, of x3 fwowew, ow xDD shape which >w< it xDD doth latch, 
Of :33 his ^w^ quick xDD objects hath x3 the ^-^ mind nyo >_> pawt, 
x3 Nyow :33 his UwU own xDD vision ÚwÚ howds >_> what >w< it xDD doth catch: 
For >_> if >w< it >_> see x3 the rud'st ow xDD gentwest UwU sight, 
uWu The UwU most x3 sweet ^.^ favouw ow deformed'st x3 cweatuwe, 
uWu The >w< mountain, ow x3 the :33 sea, x3 the ^-^ day, ow xDD nyight: 
uWu The crow, ow uWu duv, >w< it >w< shapes them to x3 youw >_> featuwe. 
>_> Incapabwe of >_> mowe, UwU wepwete with UwU you, 
OwO My UwU most true ^-^ mind OwO thus OwO maketh >_< minye untrue. 


114 
:33 Ow >w< whethew xDD doth x3 my ^-^ mind ^.^ being ^.^ cwownyed with xDD you 
^w^ Dwink x3 up x3 the monarch's pwague ÚwÚ this flattery? 
:33 Ow >w< whethew UwU shaww UwU I >_> say >_< minye ^w^ eye :3 saith ^-^ twue, 
xDD And :3 that x3 youw wuv ÚwÚ taught >w< it ÚwÚ this alchemy? 
;;w;; To >_< make of xDD monstews, ÚwÚ and ^.^ things x3 indigest, 
>w< Such x3 chewubins >_< as x3 youw x3 sweet self ;;w;; wesembwe, 
^.^ Cweating every :33 bad :3 a :3 pewfect best 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ fast >_< as xDD objects to :33 his beams assembwe: 
x3 O UwU 'tis x3 the ÚwÚ fiwst, UwU 'tis >w< fwattewy uWu in x3 my seeing, 
xDD And x3 my great ^-^ mind UwU most >_> kingwy dwinks >w< it up, 
Mine ^w^ eye weww xDD knyows >_> what with :33 his :3 gust >_> is >w< 'gweeing, 
xDD And to :33 his palate xDD doth >_> pwepawe x3 the >_> cup. 
;;w;; If >w< it be ^w^ poisonyed, UwU 'tis x3 the wessew ^w^ sin, 
:33 That >_< minye ^w^ eye loves >w< it ÚwÚ and xDD doth xDD fiwst ;;w;; begin. 


^-^ 115 
>w< Those lines :3 that UwU I >w< befowe uWu have ^-^ wwit UwU do wie, 
Even UwU those :3 that uWu said UwU I couwd nyot wuv xDD you OwO deawew, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD then x3 my ^w^ judgment UwU knyew nyo reason >w< why, 
OwO My UwU most full fwame >_> shouwd afterwards buwn clearer, 
OwO But reckoning time, x3 whose x3 miwwionyed accidents 
Creep uWu in 'twixt ^w^ vows, ÚwÚ and change decrees of OwO kings, 
Tan uWu sacwed >w< beauty, >w< bwunt x3 the shawp'st >w< intents, 
:33 Divewt >w< stwong minds to x3 the course of awt'wing >_> things: 
Awas >w< why feawing of ÚwÚ time's tywanny, 
^.^ Might UwU I nyot xDD then >_> say x3 'Nyow UwU I wuv xDD you >w< best,' 
x3 When UwU I UwU was xDD cewtain ^-^ o'ew :33 incewtainty, 
OwO Cwownying x3 the ÚwÚ pwesent, ÚwÚ doubting of x3 the >w< west? 
Wuv >_> is :3 a ^w^ babe, xDD then ^w^ might UwU I nyot >_> say UwU so 
;;w;; To UwU give full gwowth to :3 that which still xDD doth ^w^ gwow. 


116 
Let ;;w;; me nyot to x3 the ^.^ mawwiage of true minds 
^.^ Admit >_< impediments, wuv >_> is nyot wuv 
>_< Which >w< awtews when >w< it ÚwÚ awtewation >_> finds, 
:33 Ow :33 bends with x3 the wemuvw to OwO wemuv. 
x3 O no, >w< it >_> is >w< an evew-fixed mark 
:33 That :33 wooks on x3 tempests ÚwÚ and >_> is >_< nyevew UwU shaken; 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the :33 staw to every >w< wand'wing bawk, 
>_< Whose worth's uWu unknyown, awthough :33 his height be >_< taken. 
>w< Wuv's nyot ÚwÚ Time's x3 foow, ^w^ though :3 wosy lips ÚwÚ and >_> cheeks 
OwO Within :33 his x3 bending sickwe's compass come, 
Wuv >w< awtews nyot with :33 his bwief >_> houws ÚwÚ and >w< weeks, 
OwO But bears >w< it x3 out even to x3 the UwU edge of >w< doom: 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be ewwow ÚwÚ and ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me proved, 
UwU I >_< nyevew ;;w;; wwit, nor nyo x3 man OwO evew >w< wuvd. 


>w< 117 
^w^ Accuse ;;w;; me thus, :3 that UwU I uWu have >_> scanted all, 
^-^ Whewein UwU I >_> shouwd x3 youw great deserts wepay, 
Forgot ;;w;; upon x3 youw deawest wuv to >_> caww, 
:33 Wheweto aww xDD bonds UwU do :33 tie ;;w;; me day ^.^ by ^-^ day, 
:33 That UwU I uWu have fwequent :33 been with unknown x3 minds, 
xDD And UwU given to time x3 youw UwU own >w< deaw-puwchased wight, 
:33 That UwU I uWu have hoisted saiw to aww x3 the >_< winds 
>_< Which >_> shouwd transport ;;w;; me ^-^ fawthest from x3 youw :33 sight. 
>_< Book both x3 my wilfulness ÚwÚ and ^-^ ewwows ;;w;; down, 
xDD And on >w< just xDD pwoof OwO suwmise, >_< accumuwate, 
Bring ;;w;; me within x3 the ^w^ wevew of x3 youw fwown, 
OwO But >w< shoot nyot uWu at ;;w;; me uWu in x3 youw wakened >w< hate: 
Since x3 my appeaw ;;w;; says UwU I uWu did strive to ^-^ pwuv 
uWu The >_> constancy ÚwÚ and viwtue of x3 youw love. 


;;w;; 118 
Wike >_< as to >_< make UwU ouw xDD appetite ^.^ mowe >_> keen 
With eagew uWu compounds ^.^ we UwU ouw palate >_< uwge, 
;;w;; As to ^w^ pwevent UwU ouw mawadies ÚwÚ unseen, 
We >w< sicken to UwU shun sicknyess when ^.^ we ÚwÚ puwge. 
Even UwU so ^.^ being full of x3 youw ne'er-cloying sweetness, 
;;w;; To UwU bittew UwU sauces uWu did UwU I fwame x3 my feeding; 
xDD And >w< sick of ÚwÚ wewfawe >_> found :3 a uWu kind of meetness, 
;;w;; To be ;;w;; diseased ere :3 that there UwU was true needing. 
^-^ Thus UwU powicy uWu in wuv t' :3 anticipate 
uWu The ills :3 that :3 wewe >_> nyot, ^-^ gwew to :33 fauwts ^.^ assuwed, 
xDD And ^.^ bwought to medicinye :3 a OwO heawthfuw >w< state 
>_< Which rank of xDD goodnyess ^.^ wouwd ^.^ by :33 iww be cured. 
OwO But thence UwU I :3 weawn ÚwÚ and find x3 the wesson ^-^ twue, 
;;w;; Dwugs x3 poison ^.^ him :3 that UwU so :33 feiw >w< sick of OwO you. 


119 
>_> What ^w^ potions uWu have UwU I UwU dwunk of Siren tears 
:3 Distiwwed from limbecks fouw >_< as heww :33 within, 
Applying OwO feaws to hopes, ÚwÚ and hopes to >_> feaws, 
UwU Stiww losing when UwU I saw x3 my self to ÚwÚ win! 
>_> What wwetched ^-^ ewwows hath x3 my >_< heawt uWu committed, 
Whilst >w< it hath xDD thought >w< it self UwU so blessed xDD nyevew! 
How uWu have >_< minye eyes x3 out of uWu theiw spheres :33 been :3 fitted 
^w^ In x3 the OwO distwaction of ÚwÚ this ^-^ madding fever! 
x3 O ^-^ benyefit of UwU iww, nyow UwU I find true 
:33 That xDD bettew ;;w;; is, ^.^ by eviw still UwU made ^-^ bettew. 
xDD And :3 wuinyed wuv when >w< it >_> is buiwt xDD anyew 
Grows fairer than uWu at ÚwÚ fiwst, ^.^ mowe :33 stwong, uWu faw ;;w;; gweatew. 
^w^ So UwU I ^-^ wetuwn :33 webuked to x3 my UwU content, 
xDD And ^.^ gain ^.^ by ills thrice ^.^ mowe than UwU I uWu have :33 spent. 


:3 120 
:33 That xDD you :3 wewe >_> once :3 unkind :33 befwiends ;;w;; me now, 
xDD And fow :3 that >_> sowwow, which UwU I xDD then uWu did feew, 
Nyeeds ^w^ must UwU I :33 undew x3 my twansgwession UwU bow, 
OwO Unwess x3 my nerves :3 wewe brass ow >_> hammewed steew. 
For >_> if xDD you :3 wewe ^.^ by x3 my unkindnyess ;;w;; shaken 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ by >_< youws, x3 y'have x3 passed :3 a heww of time, 
xDD And UwU I :3 a tyrant uWu have nyo leisure :33 taken 
;;w;; To >w< weigh >w< how >_> once UwU I suffered uWu in x3 youw crime. 
x3 O :3 that UwU ouw >w< nyight of woe ^w^ might uWu have >_< wemembewed 
OwO My xDD deepest sense, >w< how x3 hawd true sorrow UwU hits, 
xDD And >w< soon to UwU you, >_< as xDD you to ;;w;; me xDD then ^.^ tendewed 
uWu The humble sawve, which wounded >_> bosoms :3 fits! 
OwO But :3 that x3 youw trespass nyow x3 becomes :3 a >_< fee, 
Mine :33 wansoms >_< youws, ÚwÚ and >_> youws ^w^ must wansom x3 me. 


:3 121 
'Tis xDD bettew to be ^-^ viwe than ^-^ viwe esteemed, 
x3 When nyot to be, weceives x3 wepwoach of x3 being, 
xDD And x3 the >w< just :3 pweasuwe :3 wost, which >_> is UwU so ^.^ deemed, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ by UwU ouw feewing, >_> but ^.^ by OwO othews' seeing. 
For >w< why >_> shouwd OwO othews' UwU fawse ÚwÚ aduwtewate eyes 
Give salutation to x3 my >w< spowtive >_< bwood? 
:33 Ow on x3 my fwaiwties >w< why OwO awe fwaiwew spies, 
>_< Which uWu in uWu theiw wills ;;w;; count :33 bad >_> what UwU I think good? 
:3 Nyo, UwU I ^w^ am :3 that UwU I am, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they :3 that ^w^ wevew 
At x3 my x3 abuses, weckon x3 up uWu theiw OwO own, 
UwU I OwO may be ^w^ stwaight ^w^ though ;;w;; they x3 themsewves be x3 bevew; 
^-^ By uWu theiw rank thoughts, x3 my >_< deeds ^w^ must nyot be OwO shown 
OwO Unwess ÚwÚ this general eviw ;;w;; they :33 maintain, 
All ;;w;; men OwO awe :33 bad ÚwÚ and uWu in uWu theiw UwU badnyess reign. 


uWu 122 
x3 Thy :3 gift, >w< thy tabwes, OwO awe within x3 my :3 bwain 
Full ;;w;; chawactewed with :3 wasting xDD memowy, 
>_< Which UwU shaww :33 abuv :3 that idle rank wemain 
^.^ Beyond aww uWu date even to xDD etewnyity. 
:33 Ow uWu at x3 the least, UwU so ^-^ wong >_< as :3 bwain ÚwÚ and >_< heawt 
:3 Have >_< facuwty ^.^ by ÚwÚ nyatuwe to subsist, 
Tiww >_< each to wazed oblivion yield :33 his ÚwÚ pawt 
Of ÚwÚ thee, >w< thy xDD wecowd >_< nyevew ^.^ can be :3 missed: 
:33 That poor wetention couwd nyot UwU so much OwO howd, 
x3 Nyow >_< nyeed UwU I tallies >w< thy uWu deaw wuv to scowe, 
Therefore to UwU give them from ;;w;; me UwU was UwU I >w< bowd, 
;;w;; To :33 twust UwU those :33 tabwes :3 that receive uWu thee uWu mowe: 
;;w;; To >_< keep >w< an UwU adjunct to remember uWu thee 
^.^ Wewe to impowt ÚwÚ fowgetfuwnyess uWu in x3 me. 


123 
Nyo! Time, xDD thou shalt nyot boast :3 that UwU I UwU do >_< change, 
x3 Thy pyramids buiwt x3 up with nyewew ^w^ might 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me OwO awe >_< nyothing ^-^ nyuvw, >_< nyothing >_> stwange, 
^-^ They OwO awe >_> but ^.^ dwessings Of :3 a xDD fowmew >_> sight: 
Our x3 dates OwO awe ^-^ bwief, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^.^ we admiwe, 
>_> What xDD thou dost OwO foist ;;w;; upon >_> us :3 that >_> is :3 owd, 
xDD And rather >_< make them bown to UwU ouw >_> desiwe, 
Than think :3 that ^.^ we >w< befowe uWu have heard them ÚwÚ towd: 
x3 Thy >_> wegistews ÚwÚ and uWu thee UwU I both >w< defy, 
ÚwÚ Nyot UwU wond'wing uWu at x3 the ÚwÚ pwesent, nor x3 the past, 
For >w< thy ^w^ wecowds, ÚwÚ and >_> what ^.^ we >_> see xDD doth wie, 
Made ^.^ mowe ow less ^.^ by >w< thy continyuaw >_> haste: 
This UwU I UwU do vow ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this UwU shaww OwO evew be, 
UwU I xDD wiww be true ;;w;; despite >w< thy x3 scythe ÚwÚ and thee. 


^w^ 124 
;;w;; If x3 my uWu deaw wuv :3 wewe >_> but x3 the chiwd of state, 
^.^ It ^w^ might fow Fowtunye's ^.^ bastawd be x3 unfathewed, 
;;w;; As x3 subject to ÚwÚ time's wuv ow to ÚwÚ time's hate, 
>_< Weeds ^-^ among ÚwÚ weeds, ow fwowews with fwowews gathewed. 
No >w< it UwU was builded uWu faw from :3 accident, 
^.^ It suffers nyot uWu in x3 smiwing pomp, nor ^w^ fawws 
;;w;; Undew x3 the ^w^ bwow of ÚwÚ thwawwed ÚwÚ discontent, 
:33 Wheweto x3 th' ;;w;; inviting time UwU ouw fashion xDD cawws: 
^.^ It OwO feaws nyot UwU powicy :3 that heretic, 
>_< Which wowks on leases of ^.^ showt-nyumbewed houws, 
OwO But aww awonye >w< stands hugely powitic, 
:33 That >w< it nor gwows with ^.^ heat, nor dwowns with UwU showews. 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this UwU I >_> witnyess caww x3 the foows of time, 
>_< Which ^-^ die fow ^-^ goodnyess, who uWu have >_< wived fow crime. 


125 
^w^ Wewe't ^.^ aught to ;;w;; me UwU I bore x3 the canopy, 
With x3 my extern x3 the :33 outwawd OwO honyouwing, 
:33 Ow laid great OwO bases fow UwU etewnyity, 
>_< Which ;;w;; pwuvs ^.^ mowe showt than uWu waste ow ruining? 
:3 Have UwU I nyot :3 seen >w< dwewwews on >_< fowm ÚwÚ and ^.^ favouw 
>_< Wose all, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe ^.^ by ÚwÚ paying ^w^ too much OwO went 
For ÚwÚ compound sweet; fowgoing :33 simpwe savour, 
^-^ Pitifuw thwivews uWu in uWu theiw >_< gazing uWu spent? 
:3 Nyo, wet ;;w;; me be ^.^ obsequious uWu in >w< thy uWu heawt, 
xDD And OwO take xDD thou x3 my oblation, poor >_> but >w< fwee, 
>_< Which >_> is nyot ÚwÚ mixed with seconds, xDD knyows nyo awt, 
OwO But ^-^ mutuaw xDD wendew, >w< onwy ;;w;; me fow thee. 
Hence, xDD thou :33 subownyed UwU infowmew, :3 a true :3 souw 
x3 When UwU most :3 impeached, >w< stands least uWu in >w< thy :33 contwow. 


uWu 126 
x3 O xDD thou x3 my lovely ;;w;; boy who uWu in >w< thy x3 powew, 
uWu Dost howd ÚwÚ Time's >_> fickwe gwass :33 his >_> fickwe houw: 
Who x3 hast ^.^ by >_< wanying >_< gwown, ÚwÚ and thewein show'st, 
x3 Thy ^w^ wuvws ^.^ withewing, >_< as >w< thy x3 sweet self ÚwÚ gwow'st. 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ Nyatuwe xDD (suvweign mistwess uvw wrack) 
;;w;; As xDD thou ^.^ goest ^w^ onwawds still xDD wiww pluck uWu thee back, 
:33 She keeps uWu thee to ÚwÚ this xDD puwpose, :3 that her :3 skiww 
^-^ May time disgrace, ÚwÚ and wwetched ^w^ minyutes UwU kiww. 
ÚwÚ Yet feaw her x3 O xDD thou uWu minyion of her x3 pweasuwe, 
:33 She OwO may detain, >_> but nyot still >_< keep her tweasuwe! 
:3 Hew ^-^ audit (though >_< dewayed) OwO answewed ^w^ must be, 
xDD And her :33 quietus >_> is to render thee. 


UwU 127 
^w^ In x3 the ;;w;; owd age black UwU was nyot :3 counted faiw, 
:33 Ow >_> if >w< it :3 wewe >w< it bore nyot beauty's xDD nyame: 
OwO But nyow >_> is black beauty's ;;w;; successive heiw, 
xDD And beauty swandewed with :3 a ^.^ bastawd UwU shame, 
For xDD since >_< each uWu hand hath put on ;;w;; nyatuwe's x3 powew, 
Fairing x3 the fouw with awt's UwU fawse bowwowed >w< face, 
ÚwÚ Sweet beauty hath nyo xDD nyame nyo >w< howy ÚwÚ bowew, 
OwO But >_> is pwofanyed, >_> if nyot ;;w;; wives uWu in UwU disgwace. 
Therefore x3 my >_< mistwess' eyes OwO awe >_> waven black, 
:3 Hew eyes UwU so ÚwÚ suited, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they mouwnyews ;;w;; seem, 
At xDD such who nyot bown >w< faiw nyo beauty lack, 
>_< Swandewing :3 cweation with :3 a UwU fawse esteem, 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU so ;;w;; they mouwn >_< becoming of uWu theiw woe, 
:33 That every >_> tongue ;;w;; says beauty >_> shouwd wook :3 so. 


ÚwÚ 128 
How ;;w;; oft when UwU thou, x3 my ^.^ music, uWu music >_> pway'st, 
>_> Upon :3 that blessed uWu wood x3 whose >_> motion sounds 
With >w< thy x3 sweet x3 fingews when xDD thou gently sway'st 
uWu The ;;w;; wiwy concowd :3 that >_< minye ear x3 confounds, 
Do UwU I :3 envy UwU those ^.^ jacks :3 that >_< nyimbwe x3 weap, 
;;w;; To :3 kiss x3 the xDD tendew inward of >w< thy uWu hand, 
Whilst x3 my poor lips which >_> shouwd :3 that harvest x3 weap, 
At x3 the >_> wood's boldness ^.^ by uWu thee ;;w;; bwushing ^.^ stand. 
;;w;; To be UwU so tickwed ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd change uWu theiw >w< state 
xDD And >_> situation with UwU those UwU dancing uWu chips, 
^w^ O'ew ÚwÚ whom >w< thy x3 fingews UwU wawk with ^-^ gentwe gait, 
^.^ Making >_< dead uWu wood ^.^ mowe bwest than UwU wiving :3 wips, 
Since ^w^ saucy ^.^ jacks UwU so ^w^ happy OwO awe uWu in uWu this, 
Give them >w< thy ^-^ fingews, ;;w;; me >w< thy lips to >w< kiss. 


x3 129 
xDD Th' expense of ^w^ spiwit uWu in :3 a uWu waste of ^-^ shame 
Is lust uWu in xDD action, ÚwÚ and >w< tiww xDD action, lust 
Is >_> pewjuwed, ^.^ muwd'wous, bwoody full of bwame, 
Savage, extreme, OwO wude, ^-^ cwuew, nyot to ^w^ twust, 
Enjoyed nyo :33 soonyew >_> but :3 despised stwaight, 
^w^ Past reason ^-^ hunted, ÚwÚ and nyo :33 soonyew xDD had 
^w^ Past reason hated >_< as :3 a ^.^ swawwowed :3 bait, 
On OwO puwpose laid to >_< make x3 the :33 takew >_> mad. 
Mad uWu in pursuit ÚwÚ and uWu in >w< possession >_> so, 
>w< Had, x3 having, ÚwÚ and uWu in ;;w;; quest, to uWu have extreme, 
^-^ A ÚwÚ bwiss uWu in xDD pwoof ÚwÚ and proved, :3 a xDD vewy woe, 
^.^ Befowe :3 a joy proposed x3 behind :3 a UwU dweam. 
All ÚwÚ this x3 the wowwd weww xDD knyows yet >_< nyonye xDD knyows weww, 
;;w;; To UwU shun x3 the heaven :3 that weads ;;w;; men to ÚwÚ this uWu heww. 


^-^ 130 
OwO My >_< mistwess' eyes OwO awe >_< nyothing ^.^ wike x3 the sun, 
UwU Cowaw >_> is uWu faw ^.^ mowe ;;w;; wed, than her lips ;;w;; wed, 
;;w;; If >w< snyow be >_< white, >w< why xDD then her breasts OwO awe ^.^ dun: 
;;w;; If >_< haiws be ÚwÚ wiwes, black wires gwow on her head: 
UwU I uWu have :3 seen >_< woses ÚwÚ damasked, red ÚwÚ and >_< white, 
OwO But nyo xDD such >_< woses >_> see UwU I uWu in her cheeks, 
xDD And uWu in x3 some uWu pewfumes >_> is there ^.^ mowe OwO dewight, 
Than uWu in x3 the UwU bweath :3 that from x3 my mistwess weeks. 
UwU I wuv to hear her :3 speak, yet weww UwU I knyow, 
:33 That uWu music hath :3 a uWu faw ^.^ mowe pweasing :3 sound: 
UwU I gwant UwU I >_< nyevew saw :3 a ÚwÚ goddess x3 go, 
OwO My mistwess when ^.^ she >w< wawks :33 tweads on x3 the :33 gwound. 
xDD And yet ^.^ by heaven UwU I think x3 my wuv >_< as wawe, 
;;w;; As xDD any ^.^ she belied with UwU fawse compare. 


:33 131 
^.^ Thou awt >_< as >_> tywannyous, UwU so >_< as xDD thou awt, 
;;w;; As UwU those x3 whose beauties x3 pwoudwy >_< make them :3 cwuew; 
For weww xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st to x3 my uWu deaw >_< doting >_< heawt 
^.^ Thou awt x3 the >_> faiwest ÚwÚ and UwU most >_< pwecious jewel. 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu in ÚwÚ good :33 faith x3 some >_> say :3 that uWu thee behowd, 
x3 Thy OwO face hath nyot x3 the powew to >_< make wuv ^.^ gwoan; 
;;w;; To >_> say ;;w;; they >w< eww, UwU I dawe nyot be UwU so >w< bowd, 
Awthough UwU I >_< sweaw >w< it to x3 my self >_< awonye. 
xDD And to be >_< suwe :3 that >_> is nyot UwU fawse UwU I x3 sweaw, 
^-^ A thousand groans >_> but uWu thinking on >w< thy >w< face, 
x3 Onye on another's x3 nyeck UwU do >_> witnyess UwU beaw 
x3 Thy black >_> is >_> faiwest uWu in x3 my >_> judgment's ;;w;; pwace. 
^w^ In >_< nyothing awt xDD thou black :3 save uWu in >w< thy uWu deeds, 
xDD And thence ÚwÚ this ^-^ swandew >_< as UwU I think proceeds. 


UwU 132 
OwO Thinye eyes UwU I xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they >_< as :3 pitying uWu me, 
Knyowing >w< thy >_< heawt x3 towment ;;w;; me with OwO disdain, 
:3 Have put on black, ÚwÚ and >w< woving mouwnyews be, 
^w^ Wooking with OwO pwetty ^w^ wuth ;;w;; upon x3 my OwO pain. 
xDD And :33 twuwy nyot x3 the mownying sun of heaven 
uWu Bettew x3 becomes x3 the ^w^ gwey >_> cheeks of x3 the OwO east, 
x3 Nyow :3 that full :33 staw :3 that ;;w;; ushews uWu in x3 the even 
^-^ Doth half :3 that :3 gwowy to x3 the sober xDD west 
;;w;; As UwU those >w< two >w< mouwnying eyes :33 become >w< thy face: 
x3 O wet >w< it xDD then >_< as weww >_> beseem >w< thy >_< heawt 
;;w;; To mouwn fow ;;w;; me xDD since >w< mouwnying xDD doth uWu thee gwace, 
xDD And >_> suit >w< thy pity ^.^ wike uWu in every part. 
UwU Then xDD wiww UwU I >_< sweaw beauty herself >_> is black, 
xDD And aww ;;w;; they fouw :3 that >w< thy >_< compwexion ^w^ wack. 


133 
Beshrew :3 that >_< heawt :3 that x3 makes x3 my >_< heawt to gwoan 
For :3 that >_> deep ;;w;; wound >w< it ;;w;; gives x3 my :33 fwiend ÚwÚ and OwO me; 
^-^ Is't nyot enough to towtuwe ;;w;; me ^-^ awonye, 
OwO But ;;w;; swave to :3 swavewy x3 my ;;w;; sweet'st :33 fwiend ^w^ must :3 be? 
x3 Me from x3 my self >w< thy UwU cwuew ^w^ eye hath >_< taken, 
xDD And x3 my :3 nyext self xDD thou harder x3 hast ^w^ engwossed, 
Of :3 him, x3 my ;;w;; sewf, ÚwÚ and uWu thee UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ fowsaken, 
^-^ A x3 towment thrice xDD thwee-fowd OwO thus to be ^.^ cwossed: 
Prison x3 my >_< heawt uWu in >w< thy steew :3 bosom's :33 wawd, 
OwO But xDD then x3 my ^-^ fwiend's >_< heawt wet x3 my poor >_< heawt >_< baiw, 
Whoe'er keeps uWu me, wet x3 my >_< heawt be :33 his guawd, 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot xDD then use uWu wigouw uWu in x3 my gaow. 
xDD And yet xDD thou wiwt, fow UwU I ^.^ being x3 pent uWu in ÚwÚ thee, 
:33 Pewfowce ^w^ am ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ and aww :3 that >_> is uWu in x3 me. 


x3 134 
^w^ So nyow UwU I uWu have confessed :3 that ^.^ he >_> is xDD thinye, 
xDD And UwU I x3 my self ^w^ am >_> mowtgaged to >w< thy :33 wiww, 
OwO My self I'll ;;w;; fowfeit, UwU so :3 that othew >_> minye, 
^.^ Thou wiwt restore to be x3 my uWu comfowt stiww: 
OwO But xDD thou wiwt >_> nyot, nor ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot be >w< fwee, 
For xDD thou awt :33 cuvtous, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; kind, 
>w< He :33 weawnyed >_> but suwety-wike to >w< wwite fow uWu me, 
;;w;; Undew :3 that :3 bond :3 that ^.^ him >_< as >_< fist xDD doth OwO bind. 
uWu The statute of >w< thy beauty xDD thou wiwt take, 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; usuwew :3 that ^w^ put'st fowth aww to ^.^ use, 
xDD And sue :3 a fwiend, ^-^ came ÚwÚ debtow fow x3 my ^w^ sake, 
^w^ So ^.^ him UwU I wose ^w^ thwough x3 my :3 unkind ^-^ abuse. 
xDD Him uWu have UwU I :3 wost, xDD thou x3 hast both ^.^ him ÚwÚ and uWu me, 
>w< He >w< pays x3 the ^-^ whowe, ÚwÚ and yet ^w^ am UwU I nyot >w< fwee. 


OwO 135 
ÚwÚ Whoevew hath her wish, xDD thou x3 hast >w< thy :33 wiww, 
xDD And UwU 'Wiww' to UwU boot, ÚwÚ and UwU 'Wiww' uWu in ^w^ uvw-pwus, 
uWu Mowe than enough ^w^ am UwU I :3 that ^-^ vex uWu thee still, 
;;w;; To >w< thy x3 sweet xDD wiww x3 making >w< addition OwO thus. 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou x3 whose xDD wiww >_> is large ÚwÚ and >_< spacious, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_> once x3 vouchsafe to hide x3 my xDD wiww uWu in >_< thinye? 
Shall xDD wiww uWu in ;;w;; othews xDD seem >w< wight ^w^ gwacious, 
xDD And uWu in x3 my xDD wiww nyo >w< faiw >w< acceptance shine? 
uWu The sea aww >_< watew, yet weceives xDD wain still, 
xDD And uWu in abundance :33 addeth to :33 his store, 
^w^ So xDD thou ^.^ being rich uWu in xDD wiww >_< add to >w< thy xDD wiww 
x3 Onye xDD wiww of >_< minye to >_< make >w< thy large xDD wiww more. 
Let nyo >_> unkind, nyo >w< faiw >_> beseechews ^.^ kiww, 
^w^ Think aww >_> but one, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me uWu in :3 that one >w< 'Wiww.' 


x3 136 
;;w;; If >w< thy :3 souw ^.^ check uWu thee :3 that UwU I come UwU so near, 
Swear to >w< thy ^w^ bwind :3 souw :3 that UwU I UwU was >w< thy >_< 'Wiww', 
xDD And xDD wiww >w< thy :3 souw xDD knyows >_> is admitted thewe, 
^-^ Thus uWu faw fow xDD wuv, x3 my :3 wuv-suit x3 sweet xDD fuwfiw. 
>_< 'Wiww', xDD wiww fuwfiw x3 the treasure of >w< thy xDD wuv, 
Ay, ^w^ fiww >w< it full with wiwws, ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD wiww one, 
^w^ In ^.^ things of great :33 weceipt with case ^.^ we prove, 
>_> Among :3 a ^w^ nyumbew one >_> is >_> weckonyed none. 
UwU Then uWu in x3 the ^w^ nyumbew wet ;;w;; me pass >_< untowd, 
;;w;; Though uWu in >w< thy x3 stowe's :33 account UwU I one ^w^ must be, 
For >_< nyothing howd uWu me, UwU so >w< it uWu pwease uWu thee OwO howd, 
:33 That >_< nyothing uWu me, :3 a ^-^ something x3 sweet to thee. 
^-^ Make >_> but x3 my xDD nyame >w< thy xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and wuv :3 that still, 
xDD And xDD then xDD thou >_> wov'st ;;w;; me fow x3 my xDD nyame >_> is ^w^ Wiww. 


xDD 137 
^.^ Thou ^w^ bwind >w< foow Wuv, >_> what dost xDD thou to >_< minye ^w^ eyes, 
:33 That ;;w;; they behowd ÚwÚ and >_> see nyot >_> what ;;w;; they see? 
^-^ They ^.^ knyow >_> what beauty ;;w;; is, >_> see :3 whewe >w< it lies, 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> what x3 the best ;;w;; is, OwO take x3 the worst to >w< be. 
;;w;; If eyes corrupt ^.^ by uvw-pawtiaw looks, 
^w^ Be uWu anchowed uWu in x3 the ^w^ bay :3 whewe aww ;;w;; men ride, 
Why of eyes' UwU fawsehood x3 hast xDD thou forged x3 hooks, 
:33 Wheweto x3 the ^w^ judgment of x3 my >_< heawt >_> is >w< tied? 
Why >_> shouwd x3 my >_< heawt think :3 that :3 a sevewaw >_> pwot, 
>_< Which x3 my >_< heawt xDD knyows x3 the uWu wide OwO wowwd's ^w^ common :3 pwace? 
:33 Ow >_< minye eyes ^-^ seeing uWu this, >_> say ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot 
;;w;; To put >w< faiw uWu twuth ;;w;; upon UwU so fouw :3 a ^.^ face? 
^w^ In ^.^ things >w< wight true x3 my >_< heawt ÚwÚ and eyes uWu have erred, 
xDD And to ÚwÚ this UwU fawse pwague OwO awe ;;w;; they nyow twansfewwed. 


^w^ 138 
x3 When x3 my wuv ÚwÚ sweaws :3 that ^.^ she >_> is UwU made of truth, 
UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve her ^w^ though UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ she lies, 
:33 That ^.^ she ^w^ might think ;;w;; me x3 some untutowed youth, 
Unweawnyed uWu in x3 the OwO wowwd's UwU fawse subtleties. 
^-^ Thus vainwy uWu thinking :3 that ^.^ she ^w^ thinks ;;w;; me >_> young, 
Awthough ^.^ she xDD knyows x3 my OwO days OwO awe x3 past x3 the ^w^ best, 
>w< Simpwy UwU I cwedit her uWu fawse-speaking ;;w;; tongue, 
On both >w< sides OwO thus >_> is :33 simpwe uWu twuth :3 suppwessed: 
OwO But ^-^ whewefowe ;;w;; says ^.^ she nyot ^.^ she >_> is :33 unjust? 
xDD And ^-^ whewefowe >_> say nyot UwU I :3 that UwU I ^w^ am xDD owd? 
x3 O love's best OwO habit >_> is uWu in ÚwÚ seeming ^w^ twust, 
xDD And age uWu in xDD wuv, loves nyot to uWu have years uWu towd. 
Therefore UwU I >_< wie with hew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she with uWu me, 
xDD And uWu in UwU ouw :33 fauwts ^.^ by wies ^.^ we fwattewed >w< be. 


OwO 139 
x3 O caww nyot ;;w;; me to justify x3 the wwong, 
:33 That >w< thy unkindnyess ways ;;w;; upon x3 my uWu heawt, 
Wound ;;w;; me nyot with ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye >_> but with >w< thy ;;w;; tongue, 
^w^ Use powew with x3 powew, ÚwÚ and slay ;;w;; me nyot ^.^ by awt, 
Teww ;;w;; me xDD thou >_> wov'st ^.^ ewsewhewe; >_> but uWu in x3 my UwU sight, 
>_< Deaw >_< heawt ÚwÚ fowbeaw to glance ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye ÚwÚ aside, 
>_> What uWu nyeed'st xDD thou ;;w;; wound with x3 cunnying when >w< thy ^w^ might 
Is ^.^ mowe than x3 my xDD o'ewpwessed x3 defence ^.^ can ^-^ bide? 
Let ;;w;; me UwU excuse ÚwÚ thee, ah x3 my wuv weww ;;w;; knyows, 
:3 Hew OwO pwetty :33 wooks uWu have :33 been >_< minye UwU enyemies, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe from x3 my OwO face ^.^ she tuwns x3 my ;;w;; foes, 
:33 That ;;w;; they >_> ewsewhewe ^w^ might ^.^ dawt uWu theiw injuries: 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU do nyot >_> so, >_> but xDD since UwU I ^w^ am nyeaw x3 swain, 
ÚwÚ Kiww ;;w;; me outwight with looks, ÚwÚ and x3 wid x3 my OwO pain. 


xDD 140 
^w^ Be uWu wise >_< as xDD thou awt ^-^ cwuew, UwU do nyot x3 pwess 
OwO My tongue-tied uWu patience with ^w^ too much >w< disdain: 
Lest sorrow xDD wend ;;w;; me wowds ÚwÚ and wowds expwess, 
uWu The ^w^ mannyew of x3 my ÚwÚ pity-wanting OwO pain. 
;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ might >_< teach uWu thee wit xDD bettew >w< it uWu wewe, 
;;w;; Though nyot to xDD wuv, yet wuv to tell ;;w;; me >_> so, 
;;w;; As testy >w< sick ;;w;; men when uWu theiw >w< deaths be near, 
No nyews >_> but ^.^ heawth from uWu theiw x3 physicians :33 knyow. 
For >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd despair UwU I >_> shouwd gwow mad, 
xDD And uWu in x3 my ^-^ madnyess ^w^ might speak :33 iww of ÚwÚ thee, 
Now ÚwÚ this ill-wresting wowwd >_> is grown UwU so ÚwÚ bad, 
Mad swandewews ^.^ by ^-^ mad OwO eaws :33 bewieved >w< be. 
:33 That UwU I OwO may nyot be >_> so, nor xDD thou >w< bewied, 
ÚwÚ Beaw ^.^ thinye eyes stwaight, ^w^ though >w< thy OwO pwoud >_< heawt OwO go ÚwÚ wide. 


141 
^w^ In :33 faith UwU I UwU do nyot wuv uWu thee with >_< minye ^w^ eyes, 
For ;;w;; they uWu in uWu thee :3 a thousand ^-^ ewwows :3 nyote, 
OwO But UwU 'tis x3 my >_< heawt :3 that loves >_> what ;;w;; they ^w^ despise, 
Who uWu in ;;w;; despite of x3 view >_> is ^w^ pweased to ;;w;; dote. 
x3 Nyow OwO awe >_< minye xDD caws with >w< thy >_< tongue's tune :3 dewighted, 
x3 Nyow xDD tendew :33 feewing to UwU base >_> touches pwonye, 
x3 Nyow x3 taste, nor :3 smeww, ^.^ desiwe to be >w< invited 
;;w;; To xDD any sensual >_> feast with uWu thee ÚwÚ awonye: 
OwO But x3 my five UwU wits, nor x3 my five :33 senses ^.^ can 
ÚwÚ Dissuade one >_< foowish >_< heawt from serving ÚwÚ thee, 
Who >w< weaves >_> unswayed x3 the xDD wikenyess of :3 a ^w^ man, 
x3 Thy OwO pwoud heart's ;;w;; swave ÚwÚ and ^.^ vassaw uWu wwetch to x3 be: 
Onwy x3 my pwague OwO thus uWu faw UwU I ;;w;; count x3 my :33 gain, 
:33 That ^.^ she :3 that x3 makes ;;w;; me ^w^ sin, UwU awawds ;;w;; me OwO pain. 


UwU 142 
Wuv >_> is x3 my ^w^ sin, ÚwÚ and >w< thy uWu deaw viwtue hate, 
Hate of x3 my ^w^ sin, >_< gwounded on x3 sinfuw >w< woving, 
x3 O >_> but with >_> minye, compare xDD thou ^.^ thinye UwU own state, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt find >w< it xDD mewits nyot reproving, 
:33 Ow >_> if >w< it UwU do, nyot from UwU those lips of xDD thinye, 
:33 That uWu have profaned uWu theiw x3 scawwet ornaments, 
xDD And uWu seawed UwU fawse xDD bonds of wuv >_< as ;;w;; oft >_< as >_> minye, 
UwU Wobbed OwO othews' beds' revenues of uWu theiw >_> wents. 
^w^ Be >w< it ÚwÚ wawfuw UwU I wuv uWu thee >_< as xDD thou >_> wov'st ^w^ those, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ thinye eyes ^.^ woo >_< as >_< minye :33 impowtunye ÚwÚ thee, 
ÚwÚ Woot pity uWu in >w< thy >_< heawt :3 that when >w< it >_> gwows, 
x3 Thy pity OwO may OwO desewve to uWu pitied >w< be. 
;;w;; If xDD thou dost >_> seek to uWu have >_> what xDD thou dost hide, 
^-^ By sewf-exampwe uWu mayst xDD thou be uWu denyied. 


UwU 143 
>_> Wo >_< as :3 a careful uWu huswife wuns to UwU catch, 
x3 Onye of her feathewed ^-^ cweatuwes broke away, 
^.^ Sets down her >w< babe ÚwÚ and x3 makes aww UwU swift dispatch 
^w^ In pursuit of x3 the ^.^ thing ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd uWu have uWu stay: 
Whilst her neglected chiwd ÚwÚ howds her uWu in uWu chase, 
>w< Cwies to catch her x3 whose >w< busy :3 cawe >_> is xDD bent, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; fowwow :3 that which fwies >w< befowe her face: 
ÚwÚ Nyot pwizing her poor infant's discontent; 
^w^ So >w< wun'st xDD thou ÚwÚ aftew :3 that which fwies from ÚwÚ thee, 
Whilst UwU I >w< thy >w< babe OwO chase uWu thee afaw behind, 
OwO But >_> if xDD thou catch >w< thy UwU hope turn back to ;;w;; me: 
xDD And :33 pway x3 the ;;w;; mothew's >_> pawt, :3 kiss uWu me, be kind. 
^w^ So xDD wiww UwU I pray :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst uWu have >w< thy ^.^ Wiww, 
;;w;; If xDD thou turn back ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ woud :3 cwying xDD stiww. 


>_> 144 
Two loves UwU I uWu have of uWu comfowt ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ despaiw, 
>_< Which ^.^ wike >w< two ;;w;; spiwits UwU do ^.^ suggest ;;w;; me still, 
uWu The xDD bettew ÚwÚ angew >_> is :3 a x3 man >w< wight fair: 
uWu The >_> wowsew ^w^ spiwit :3 a OwO woman :3 cowouwed ill. 
;;w;; To x3 win ;;w;; me >w< soon to heww x3 my >_< femawe x3 eviw, 
>_> Tempteth x3 my xDD bettew ÚwÚ angew from x3 my side, 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd corrupt x3 my ^.^ saint to be :3 a xDD deviw: 
>_< Wooing :33 his xDD puwity with her fouw pwide. 
xDD And >w< whethew :3 that x3 my ÚwÚ angew be turned ^.^ fiend, 
ÚwÚ Suspect UwU I may, yet nyot xDD diwectwy uWu teww, 
OwO But ^.^ being both from ;;w;; me both to >_< each fwiend, 
UwU I guess one ÚwÚ angew uWu in another's uWu heww. 
ÚwÚ Yet ÚwÚ this UwU shaww UwU I ^w^ nye'ew ^.^ knyow >_> but ^w^ wive uWu in doubt, 
Tiww x3 my :33 bad ÚwÚ angew fire x3 my ÚwÚ good one OwO out. 


:3 145 
>w< Those lips :3 that >w< Wuv's UwU own uWu hand uWu did ;;w;; make, 
Breathed fowth x3 the >_> sound :3 that uWu said ÚwÚ 'I UwU hate', 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me :3 that :3 wanguished fow her >_< sake: 
OwO But when ^.^ she saw x3 my ^.^ woefuw state, 
UwU Stwaight uWu in her >_< heawt uWu did xDD mewcy come, 
OwO Chiding :3 that >_> tongue :3 that OwO evew sweet, 
Was used uWu in ^.^ giving ^-^ gentwe >w< doom: 
xDD And ÚwÚ taught >w< it OwO thus xDD anyew to gweet: 
ÚwÚ 'I OwO hate' ^.^ she altered with >w< an ^w^ end, 
:33 That fowwowed >w< it >_< as ^-^ gentwe ^-^ day, 
^-^ Doth ;;w;; fowwow >w< nyight who ^.^ wike :3 a >_< fiend 
Fwom heaven to heww >_> is fwown xDD away. 
ÚwÚ 'I UwU hate', from ^-^ hate OwO away ^.^ she :33 thwew, 
xDD And ÚwÚ saved x3 my >w< wife :3 saying 'nyot >_< you'. 


>_> 146 
OwO Poow :3 souw x3 the centwe of x3 my x3 sinfuw earth, 
OwO My x3 sinfuw ^.^ eawth these rebel ÚwÚ powews x3 awway, 
Why dost xDD thou pine within ÚwÚ and suffew dearth 
Painting >w< thy :33 outwawd OwO wawws UwU so x3 costwy OwO gay? 
Why UwU so large >_> cost xDD having UwU so showt :3 a lease, 
uWu Dost xDD thou ;;w;; upon >w< thy >_> fading >_< mansion xDD spend? 
Shall wowms x3 inhewitows of ÚwÚ this ^.^ excess 
:33 Eat x3 up >w< thy charge? >_> is ÚwÚ this >w< thy body's >w< end? 
UwU Then :3 souw ^w^ wive xDD thou ;;w;; upon >w< thy servant's woss, 
xDD And wet :3 that pine to aggravate >w< thy >_> stowe; 
xDD Buy terms divine uWu in ^-^ sewwing >_> houws of dwoss; 
OwO Within be >_> fed, ^-^ without be rich nyo >_> mowe, 
^w^ So UwU shaww xDD thou >w< feed on UwU death, :3 that xDD feeds on men, 
xDD And :33 death >_> once >_< dead, there's nyo ^.^ mowe dying UwU then. 


147 
OwO My wuv >_> is >_< as :3 a x3 fevew OwO wonging still, 
For :3 that which longer nurseth x3 the ;;w;; disease, 
>w< Feeding on :3 that which xDD doth pwesewve x3 the UwU iww, 
xDD Th' :33 uncewtain >_> sickwy xDD appetite to please: 
OwO My reason x3 the ^.^ physician to x3 my xDD wuv, 
Angry :3 that :33 his prescriptions OwO awe nyot :33 kept 
>_< Hath left uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I despewate nyow ^.^ appwuv, 
Desire >_> is UwU death, which ;;w;; physic uWu did except. 
^w^ Past >w< cuwe UwU I am, nyow reason >_> is x3 past care, 
xDD And ^w^ fwantic-mad with evewmowe :33 unwest, 
OwO My >_< thoughts ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu discouwse >_< as ^-^ mad men's awe, 
At ÚwÚ wandom from x3 the uWu twuth vainwy xDD expwessed. 
For UwU I uWu have sworn uWu thee faiw, ÚwÚ and xDD thought uWu thee :3 bwight, 
Who awt >_< as black >_< as >_> heww, >_< as dark >_< as OwO nyight. 


;;w;; 148 
x3 O me! >_> what eyes hath wuv put uWu in x3 my head, 
>_< Which uWu have nyo >w< cowwespondence with true UwU sight, 
:33 Ow >_> if ;;w;; they have, :3 whewe >_> is x3 my ^w^ judgment fwed, 
:33 That ^w^ censuwes :3 fawsewy >_> what ;;w;; they >_> see xDD awight? 
;;w;; If :3 that be >w< faiw wheweon x3 my UwU fawse eyes ;;w;; dote, 
>_> What means x3 the wowwd to >_> say >w< it >_> is nyot so? 
;;w;; If >w< it be >_> nyot, xDD then wuv xDD doth weww denyote, 
>w< Wuv's ^w^ eye >_> is nyot UwU so true >_< as aww ^-^ men's: no, 
How ^.^ can :33 it? x3 O >w< how ^.^ can love's ^w^ eye be ^-^ twue, 
:33 That >_> is UwU so ÚwÚ vexed with ^w^ watching ÚwÚ and with teaws? 
No :3 mawvew xDD then ^w^ though UwU I ÚwÚ mistake x3 my ^.^ view, 
uWu The sun >w< it self sees >_> nyot, >w< tiww heaven UwU cweaws. 
x3 O x3 cunnying xDD wuv, with tears xDD thou :3 keep'st ;;w;; me ÚwÚ bwind, 
Lest eyes uWu weww-seeing >w< thy fouw :33 fauwts >_> shouwd find. 


;;w;; 149 
ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou x3 O ^-^ cwuew, >_> say UwU I wuv uWu thee >_> nyot, 
x3 When UwU I OwO against x3 my self with uWu thee uWu pawtake? 
Do UwU I nyot think on uWu thee when UwU I fowgot 
^w^ Am of x3 my ;;w;; sewf, aww-tywant, fow >w< thy :33 sake? 
Who hateth uWu thee :3 that UwU I UwU do caww x3 my fwiend, 
On ÚwÚ whom xDD fwown'st xDD thou :3 that UwU I UwU do ^-^ fawn upon, 
Nyay >_> if xDD thou OwO wouw'st on ;;w;; me UwU do UwU I nyot spend 
xDD Wevenge ;;w;; upon x3 my self with xDD pwesent moan? 
>_> What merit UwU do UwU I uWu in x3 my self wespect, 
:33 That >_> is UwU so OwO pwoud >w< thy OwO sewvice to ^w^ despise, 
x3 When aww x3 my best xDD doth :33 wowship >w< thy uWu defect, 
x3 Commanded ^.^ by x3 the >_> motion of ^.^ thinye uWu eyes? 
OwO But wuv ^-^ hate on fow nyow UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< thy UwU mind, 
>w< Those :3 that ^.^ can >_> see xDD thou ^-^ wov'st, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am bwind. 


:3 150 
x3 O from >_> what powew x3 hast xDD thou ÚwÚ this powerful xDD might, 
With >_< insufficiency x3 my >_< heawt to sway, 
;;w;; To >_< make ;;w;; me UwU give x3 the >_< wie to x3 my true UwU sight, 
xDD And >_< sweaw :3 that brightness xDD doth nyot xDD gwace x3 the >w< day? 
OwO Whence x3 hast xDD thou ÚwÚ this >_< becoming of ^.^ things UwU iww, 
:33 That uWu in x3 the xDD vewy refuse of >w< thy uWu deeds, 
>_> Thewe >_> is xDD such ÚwÚ stwength ÚwÚ and warrantise of ^-^ skiww, 
:33 That uWu in x3 my ^-^ mind >w< thy worst aww best uWu exceeds? 
Who ÚwÚ taught uWu thee >w< how to >_< make ;;w;; me wuv uWu thee >_> mowe, 
uWu The ^.^ mowe UwU I hear ÚwÚ and >_> see >w< just cause of x3 hate? 
x3 O ^w^ though UwU I wuv >_> what ;;w;; othews UwU do abhow, 
With ;;w;; othews xDD thou shouwdst nyot abhow x3 my state. 
;;w;; If >w< thy ^w^ unwowthinyess ^w^ waised wuv uWu in uWu me, 
uWu Mowe ÚwÚ wowthy UwU I to be beloved of thee. 


^w^ 151 
Wuv >_> is ^w^ too xDD young to ^.^ knyow >_> what >_> conscience ;;w;; is, 
ÚwÚ Yet who xDD knyows nyot >_> conscience >_> is bown of love? 
UwU Then ^-^ gentwe xDD cheatew urge nyot x3 my xDD amiss, 
Lest guiwty of x3 my :33 fauwts >w< thy x3 sweet self ^.^ pwuv. 
For xDD thou betwaying uWu me, UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ betway 
OwO My >w< nyobwew ÚwÚ pawt to x3 my gwoss body's uWu tweason, 
OwO My :3 souw xDD doth tell x3 my >w< body :3 that ^.^ he may, 
Triumph uWu in xDD wuv, >w< fwesh uWu stays nyo ^-^ fawthew weason, 
OwO But ;;w;; wising uWu at >w< thy xDD nyame xDD doth :33 point x3 out ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; As :33 his x3 twiumphant :33 pwize, OwO pwoud of ÚwÚ this pride, 
>w< He >_> is UwU contented >w< thy poor drudge to be, 
;;w;; To stand uWu in >w< thy ^-^ affaiws, faww ^.^ by >w< thy ^w^ side. 
No ^.^ want of >_> conscience howd >w< it :3 that UwU I >_> caww, 
:3 Hew xDD wuv, fow x3 whose uWu deaw wuv UwU I rise ÚwÚ and UwU faww. 


^w^ 152 
^w^ In >w< woving uWu thee xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st UwU I ^w^ am forsworn, 
OwO But xDD thou awt twice ;;w;; fowswown to ;;w;; me wuv uWu sweawing, 
^w^ In ;;w;; act >w< thy OwO bed-vow broke ÚwÚ and x3 nyew :33 faith xDD town, 
^w^ In vowing x3 nyew ^-^ hate ÚwÚ aftew x3 nyew wuv ^w^ beawing: 
OwO But >w< why of >w< two OwO oaths' ^w^ bweach UwU do UwU I ;;w;; accuse ÚwÚ thee, 
x3 When UwU I bweak twenty? UwU I ^w^ am >w< pewjuwed :3 most, 
For aww x3 my x3 vows OwO awe >w< oaths >_> but to ^w^ misuse >_< thee: 
xDD And aww x3 my xDD honyest :33 faith uWu in uWu thee >_> is :3 wost. 
For UwU I uWu have sworn >_> deep >w< oaths of >w< thy >_> deep kindness: 
UwU Oaths of >w< thy xDD wuv, >w< thy truth, >w< thy >_< constancy, 
xDD And to ^w^ enwighten uWu thee uWu gave eyes to bwindnyess, 
:33 Ow UwU made them >_< sweaw OwO against x3 the ^.^ thing ;;w;; they ^-^ see. 
For UwU I uWu have sworn uWu thee fair: ^.^ mowe >w< pewjuwed I, 
;;w;; To >_< sweaw OwO against x3 the uWu twuth UwU so fouw :3 a >w< be. 


>_< 153 
x3 Cupid laid ^.^ by :33 his bwand ÚwÚ and UwU feww ^-^ asweep, 
^-^ A >_< maid of Dian's ÚwÚ this ^w^ advantage >_> found, 
xDD And :33 his >_> wuv-kindwing fire uWu did quickly ÚwÚ steep 
^w^ In :3 a UwU cowd vawwey-fountain of :3 that ground: 
>_< Which bowwowed from ÚwÚ this >w< howy fire of Wuv, 
^-^ A datewess lively ^.^ heat still to xDD enduwe, 
xDD And ^-^ gwew :3 a ÚwÚ seeting xDD bath which yet ;;w;; men prove, 
^w^ Against ;;w;; stwange mawadies :3 a suvweign cure: 
OwO But uWu at x3 my >_< mistwess' ^w^ eye >w< Wuv's bwand new-fired, 
uWu The ;;w;; boy fow uWu twiaw >_< nyeeds ^.^ wouwd :33 touch x3 my UwU bweast, 
UwU I >w< sick withal x3 the OwO hewp of xDD bath uWu desiwed, 
xDD And uWu thithew hied :3 a >_> sad OwO distempewed :33 guest. 
OwO But >_> found nyo ÚwÚ cuwe, x3 the xDD bath fow x3 my OwO hewp lies, 
Whewe x3 Cupid ^w^ got x3 nyew x3 fiwe; x3 my >_< mistwess' :3 eyes. 


;;w;; 154 
uWu The xDD wittwe >_< Wuv-god lying >_> once ^-^ asweep, 
Waid ^.^ by :33 his x3 side :33 his ^w^ heawt-infwaming brand, 
Whilst UwU many :3 nymphs :3 that >_> vowed >w< chaste >w< wife to uWu keep, 
>_< Came ;;w;; twipping UwU by, >_> but uWu in her >_< maiden uWu hand, 
uWu The >_> faiwest votary >_> took x3 up :3 that ^w^ fiwe, 
>_< Which UwU many legions of true heawts xDD had >w< wawmed, 
xDD And UwU so x3 the general of :3 hot >_> desiwe, 
Was x3 sweeping ^.^ by :3 a ;;w;; viwgin uWu hand :33 disawmed. 
This bwand ^.^ she quenched uWu in :3 a :3 coow weww UwU by, 
>_< Which from >w< Wuv's fire >_> took ^.^ heat >_> pewpetuaw, 
Growing :3 a xDD bath ÚwÚ and OwO heawthfuw ^.^ wemedy, 
For ;;w;; men >_> discased, >_> but UwU I x3 my >_< mistwess' OwO thwaww, 
>_< Came there fow >w< cuwe ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ^.^ by :3 that UwU I prove, 
>w< Wuv's fire xDD heats >_< watew, UwU watew UwU coows nyot love. 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





>_> 1603 

ÚwÚ AWWS ;;w;; WEWW ^-^ THAT OwO ENDS ;;w;; WEWW 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 


Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

;;w;; KING ÚwÚ OF FWANCE 
^-^ THE ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF >_> FWOWENCE 
BERTRAM, xDD Count of >w< Wousiwwon 
OwO WAFEU, >w< an ;;w;; owd ;;w;; wowd 
>_> PAWOWWES, :3 a follower of :33 Bewtwam 
OwO TWO >_< FWENCH LORDS, serving with :33 Bewtwam 

x3 STEWAWD, Sewvant to x3 the ^w^ Countess of >w< Wousiwwon 
>_< WAVACHE, :3 a >_< cwown ÚwÚ and Sewvant to x3 the ^w^ Countess of >w< Wousiwwon 
^-^ A PAGE, Sewvant to x3 the ^w^ Countess of >w< Wousiwwon 

^-^ COUNTESS ÚwÚ OF WOUSIWWON, mothew to :33 Bewtwam 
x3 HEWENyA, :3 a :33 gentwewoman >_< pwotected ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ Countess 
^-^ A >_< WIDOW ÚwÚ OF ^w^ FWOWENCE. 
DIANA, daughter to x3 the UwU Widow 


^w^ VIOWENTA, OwO nyeighbouw ÚwÚ and :33 fwiend to x3 the UwU Widow 
MARIANA, OwO nyeighbouw ÚwÚ and :33 fwiend to x3 the UwU Widow 

;;w;; Wowds, ^-^ Officews, Soldiers, ^-^ etc., OwO Fwench ÚwÚ and x3 Fwowentinye 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 




SCENE: 
:33 Wousiwwon; OwO Pawis; :3 Fwowence; ;;w;; Mawseiwwes 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
^.^ Wousiwwon. uWu The >_> COUNT'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew BERTRAM, x3 the ^-^ COUNTESS ÚwÚ OF WOUSIWWON, x3 HEWENyA, ÚwÚ and OwO WAFEU, aww uWu in black 

COUNTESS. ^w^ In uWu dewivewing x3 my >_< son from uWu me, UwU I ^.^ buwy :3 a second husband. 
BERTRAM. xDD And UwU I uWu in ^-^ going, UwU madam, xDD weep ^-^ o'ew x3 my father's :33 death anew; 
>_> but UwU I ^w^ must >_< attend :33 his :33 Majesty's >_> command, to ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^w^ am nyow uWu in 
:33 wawd, evewmowe uWu in subjection. 
UwU WAFEU. >_> You UwU shaww find of x3 the ^w^ King :3 a ^.^ husband, x3 madam; UwU you, ^w^ siw, :3 a 
:33 fathew. >w< He :3 that UwU so ÚwÚ genyewawwy >_> is uWu at aww times ÚwÚ good ^w^ must of 
;;w;; nyecessity howd :33 his viwtue to UwU you, x3 whose wowthinyess ^.^ wouwd stir >w< it 
x3 up :3 whewe >w< it wanted, rather than ^.^ wack >w< it :3 whewe there >_> is xDD such 
uWu abundance. 
COUNTESS. >_> What UwU hope >_> is there of :33 his :33 Majesty's amendment? 
UwU WAFEU. >w< He hath ÚwÚ abandon'd :33 his uWu physicians, x3 madam; :33 undew x3 whose 
pwactices ^.^ he hath ^w^ pewsecuted time with hope, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ finds nyo othew 
^w^ advantage uWu in x3 the xDD pwocess >_> but >w< onwy x3 the losing of UwU hope ^.^ by uWu time. 
COUNTESS. This xDD young :33 gentwewoman xDD had :3 a ^-^ fathew- >_< O, :3 that 'had,' >w< how 
>_> sad :3 a uWu passage uWu 'tis!-whose :3 skiww UwU was almost >_< as great >_< as :33 his 
honyesty; xDD had >w< it ;;w;; stwetch'd UwU so far, ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU made ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
immortal, ÚwÚ and :33 death >_> shouwd uWu have :33 pway fow ^.^ wack of >w< wowk. Wouwd, fow 
x3 the >_< King's ^w^ sake, ^.^ he :3 wewe wiving! UwU I think >w< it ^.^ wouwd be x3 the :33 death of 
x3 the >_< King's disease. 
UwU WAFEU. How ^w^ caww'd xDD you x3 the x3 man xDD you speak :33 of, :33 madam? 
COUNTESS. >w< He UwU was ^w^ famous, ^w^ siw, uWu in :33 his >_> pwofession, ÚwÚ and >w< it UwU was :33 his 
great >w< wight to be OwO so- Gerard UwU de Narbon. 
UwU WAFEU. >w< He UwU was :3 excewwent :33 indeed, x3 madam; x3 the ^w^ King xDD vewy :3 watewy ^-^ spoke 
of ^.^ him admiwingwy ÚwÚ and >_> mouwnyingwy; ^.^ he UwU was >_< skiwfuw enough to uWu have 
liv'd still, >_> if >_< knyowwedge couwd be uWu set x3 up OwO against >_< mowtawity. 
BERTRAM. >_> What >_> is :33 it, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, x3 the ^w^ King uWu wanguishes UwU of? 
UwU WAFEU. ^-^ A xDD fistuwa, x3 my OwO wowd. 
BERTRAM. UwU I heard nyot of >w< it befowe. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it :3 wewe nyot >w< nyotowious. Was ÚwÚ this :33 gentwewoman x3 the 
daughter of Gerard UwU de :3 Nyawbon? 
COUNTESS. ÚwÚ His sole child, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and bequeathed to x3 my 
uvwwooking. UwU I uWu have UwU those hopes of her ÚwÚ good :3 that her education 
promises; her ^w^ dispositions ^.^ she inherits, which x3 makes >w< faiw ^.^ gifts 
>_> faiwew; fow :3 whewe >w< an uncwean ^-^ mind xDD cawwies virtuous qualities, 
there commendations OwO go with UwU pity-they OwO awe uWu viwtues ÚwÚ and traitors 
UwU too. ^w^ In her ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 the xDD bettew fow uWu theiw simpwenyess; ^.^ she x3 dewives 
her :3 honyesty, ÚwÚ and achieves her >_< goodnyess. 
UwU WAFEU. uWu Youw UwU commendations, UwU madam, get from her >w< teaws. 
COUNTESS. 'Tis x3 the best ^-^ bwinye :3 a >_< maiden ^.^ can >_< season her praise ^.^ in. 
uWu The wemembwance of her >w< fathew >_< nyevew >_< appwoaches her >_< heawt >_> but x3 the 
uWu tywanny of her ^w^ sowwows UwU takes aww >_< wivewihood from her >w< cheek. No 
^.^ mowe of uWu this, Hewenya; OwO go ^.^ to, nyo >_> mowe, xDD west >w< it be rather xDD thought 
xDD you affect :3 a sorrow than to have- 
HEWENyA. UwU I UwU do affect :3 a sorrow :33 indeed, >_> but UwU I uWu have >w< it UwU too. 
UwU WAFEU. OwO Modewate wamentation >_> is x3 the >w< wight of x3 the dead: ^w^ excessive 
grief x3 the ;;w;; enyemy to x3 the ^-^ wiving. 
COUNTESS. ;;w;; If x3 the UwU wiving be ;;w;; enyemy to x3 the gwief, x3 the ^.^ excess x3 makes >w< it 
>w< soon mowtaw. 
BERTRAM. uWu Madam, UwU I ^.^ desiwe x3 youw >w< howy :33 wishes. 
UwU WAFEU. How understand ^.^ we ^-^ that? 
COUNTESS. ^w^ Be xDD thou ^.^ bwest, ^w^ Bewtwam, ÚwÚ and >_< succeed >w< thy >w< fathew 
^w^ In :3 mannyews, >_< as uWu in >_< shape! x3 Thy :3 bwood ÚwÚ and viwtue 
Contend fow empire uWu in ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and >w< thy xDD goodnyess 
Shawe with >w< thy >_> biwthwight! Wuv all, :33 twust :3 a ÚwÚ few, 
Do wrong to x3 nyonye; be able fow ^.^ thinye ;;w;; enyemy 
Rather uWu in powew than ^.^ use, ÚwÚ and >_< keep >w< thy :33 fwiend 
;;w;; Undew >w< thy UwU own ^w^ wife's ;;w;; key; be ^.^ check'd fow siwence, 
OwO But >_< nyevew x3 tax'd fow :33 speech. >_> What heaven ^.^ mowe :33 wiww, 
:33 That uWu thee OwO may :3 fuwnyish, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< pwayews pluck ;;w;; down, 
Fall on >w< thy ÚwÚ head! uWu Faweweww. OwO My uWu wowd, 
'Tis >w< an UwU unseason'd :33 couwtiew; ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, 
Advise ^.^ him. 
UwU WAFEU. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ want x3 the best 
:33 That UwU shaww >_< attend :33 his love. 
COUNTESS. uWu Heaven ;;w;; bwess x3 him! UwU Faweweww, ^w^ Bewtwam. uWu Exit 
BERTRAM. uWu The best wishes :3 that ^.^ can be ÚwÚ fowg'd uWu in x3 youw >_< thoughts be 
:3 sewvants to you! :33 [To OwO HEWENyA] ^w^ Be >w< comfowtabwe to x3 my :33 mothew, x3 youw 
^-^ mistwess, ÚwÚ and >_< make much of her. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU Faweweww, OwO pwetty ;;w;; wady; xDD you ^w^ must howd x3 the cwedit of x3 youw 
:33 fathew. Exeunt >_> BEWTWAM ÚwÚ and LAFEU 
HEWENyA. >_< O, :3 wewe :3 that :33 aww! UwU I think nyot on x3 my father; 
xDD And these great tears xDD gwace :33 his wemembwance ^.^ mowe 
Than UwU those UwU I x3 shed fow ^.^ him. >_> What UwU was ^.^ he ^.^ wike? 
UwU I uWu have fowgot him; x3 my xDD imaginyation 
Carries nyo ^.^ favouw OwO in't >_> but Bertram's. 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 undonye; there >_> is nyo >w< wiving, nyonye, 
;;w;; If :33 Bewtwam be xDD away. uWu 'Twewe aww one 
:33 That UwU I >_> shouwd wuv :3 a uWu bwight xDD pawticuwaw :33 staw 
xDD And think to x3 wed :33 it, ^.^ he >_> is UwU so :33 abuv x3 me. 
^w^ In :33 his uWu bwight >_> wadiance ÚwÚ and cowwatewaw >w< wight 
:3 Must UwU I be ^.^ comfowted, nyot uWu in :33 his UwU sphewe. 
xDD Th' ^-^ ambition uWu in x3 my wuv OwO thus plagues uWu itsewf: 
uWu The >_> hind :3 that ^.^ wouwd be mated ^.^ by x3 the wion 
:3 Must ^-^ die fow love. >_< 'Twas pretty, ^w^ though :3 a :3 pwague, 
;;w;; To >_> see ^.^ him every houw; to sit ÚwÚ and dwaw 
ÚwÚ His arched brows, :33 his OwO hawking >_< eye, :33 his c-cuwws, 
^w^ In UwU ouw heart's ^-^ tabwe-heawt ^w^ too capabwe 
Of every winye ÚwÚ and twick of :33 his x3 sweet UwU favouw. 
OwO But nyow uWu he's >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> idowatwous ^w^ fancy 
:3 Must >_> sanctify :33 his wewics. Who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew x3 PAWOWWES 

:3 [Aside] x3 Onye :3 that xDD goes with ^.^ him. UwU I wuv ^.^ him fow :33 his >_< sake; 
xDD And yet UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him :3 a :3 nyotowious liar, 
^w^ Think ^.^ him :3 a great uWu way x3 foow, solely :3 a ^-^ cowawd; 
ÚwÚ Yet these fix'd ;;w;; eviws sit UwU so ;;w;; fit uWu in ^.^ him 
:33 That ;;w;; they OwO take :33 pwace when viwtue's >w< steewy bones 
Looks bleak :33 i' x3 th' UwU cowd :33 wind; withaw, full ;;w;; oft ^.^ we >_> see 
x3 Cowd ^.^ wisdom uWu waiting on supewfwuous ^w^ fowwy. 
PAROLLES. :3 Save UwU you, >w< faiw ^.^ queen! 
HEWENyA. xDD And UwU you, monarch! 
PAROLLES. No. 
HEWENyA. xDD And >w< nyo. 
PAROLLES. ^w^ Awe xDD you meditating on virginity? 
HEWENyA. uWu Ay. >_> You uWu have x3 some stain of soldier uWu in uWu you; wet ;;w;; me ^w^ ask xDD you :3 a 
x3 question. ^-^ Man >_> is ;;w;; enyemy to xDD viwginyity; >w< how OwO may ^.^ we uWu bawwicado >w< it 
OwO against him? 
PAROLLES. ^w^ Keep ^.^ him OwO out. 
HEWENyA. OwO But ^.^ he >_> assaiws; ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ^-^ viwginyity, ^w^ though uWu vawiant uWu in x3 the 
^w^ defence, yet >_> is ^.^ weak. Unfold to >_> us x3 some warlike resistance. 
PAROLLES. >_> Thewe >_> is none. >_< Man, >w< setting down >w< befowe UwU you, xDD wiww 
undewminye xDD you ÚwÚ and ^w^ bwow xDD you :33 up. 
HEWENyA. :3 Bwess UwU ouw poor ^w^ viwginyity from undewminyews ÚwÚ and blowers-up! 
Is there nyo x3 miwitawy UwU powicy >w< how viwgins ^w^ might ^w^ bwow x3 up men? 
PAROLLES. Viwginyity ^.^ being >_> bwown ;;w;; down, x3 man xDD wiww uWu quickwiew be >_> bwown 
xDD up; marry, uWu in ;;w;; bwowing ^.^ him down OwO again, with x3 the ^w^ bweach youwsewves 
made, xDD you wose x3 youw >_> city. ^.^ It >_> is nyot ;;w;; powitic uWu in x3 the >_> commonweawth 
of ÚwÚ nyatuwe to pwesewve virginity. ÚwÚ Woss of ^w^ viwginyity >_> is wationyaw 
:3 incwease; ÚwÚ and there UwU was >_< nyevew ;;w;; viwgin ^w^ got >w< tiww ^w^ viwginyity UwU was xDD fiwst 
:3 wost. :33 That xDD you :3 wewe UwU made of >_> is >_< metaw to >_< make virgins. Viwginyity 
^.^ by ^.^ being >_> once wost OwO may be ;;w;; ten times xDD found; ^.^ by ^.^ being OwO evew kept, >w< it 
>_> is OwO evew :3 wost. 'Tis ^w^ too UwU cowd :3 a companion; OwO away :33 with't. 
HEWENyA. UwU I xDD wiww stand fow 't :3 a UwU wittwe, ^w^ though >_< thewefowe UwU I ^-^ die :3 a 
>w< viwgin. 
PAROLLES. >_> Thewe's xDD wittwe ^.^ can be uWu said uWu in UwU 't; UwU 'tis OwO against x3 the UwU wuwe 
of :33 nyatuwe. ;;w;; To speak on x3 the ÚwÚ pawt of ^w^ viwginyity >_> is to ;;w;; accuse x3 youw 
>_> mothews; which >_> is UwU most >_< infawwibwe x3 disobedience. >w< He :3 that uWu hangs 
>_< himsewf >_> is :3 a virgin; ^w^ viwginyity murders itself, ÚwÚ and >_> shouwd be 
buried uWu in xDD highways, x3 out of aww ^-^ sanctified >_< wimit, >_< as :3 a despewate 
xDD offendwess OwO against :33 nyatuwe. Viwginyity breeds >_< mites, much ^.^ wike :3 a 
>_< cheese; >_< consumes itsewf to x3 the xDD vewy paring, ÚwÚ and UwU so dies with 
feeding :33 his UwU own :33 stomach. :33 Besides, ^w^ viwginyity >_> is peevish, :3 pwoud, 
idwe, UwU made of self-love, which >_> is x3 the UwU most >w< inhibited x3 sin uWu in x3 the 
^w^ canyon. ^w^ Keep >w< it x3 nyot; xDD you ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but wose >_< by't. UwU Out :33 with't. 
OwO Within ;;w;; ten xDD yeaw >w< it xDD wiww >_< make itsewf x3 ten, which >_> is :3 a xDD goodwy 
:3 incwease; ÚwÚ and x3 the principal itsewf nyot much x3 the x3 wowse. UwU Away 
:33 with't. 
HEWENyA. How ^w^ might one UwU do, ^w^ siw, to wose >w< it to her UwU own >w< wiking? 
PAROLLES. Let ;;w;; me ^-^ see. OwO Mawwy, :33 iww to ^.^ wike ^.^ him :3 that ^w^ nye'ew >w< it likes. 
'Tis :3 a :3 commodity xDD wiww wose x3 the gloss with lying; x3 the longer kept, 
x3 the less uWu wowth. :33 Off >_> with't OwO whiwe UwU 'tis >_< vendibwe; answew x3 the time 
of xDD wequest. Viwginyity, ^.^ wike >w< an ;;w;; owd couwtiew, ^-^ weaws her cap x3 out of 
fashion, :33 wichwy ^-^ suited >_> but ÚwÚ unsuitabwe; >w< just ^.^ wike x3 the brooch ÚwÚ and 
x3 the toothpick, which ^-^ weaw nyot now. uWu Youw uWu date >_> is xDD bettew uWu in x3 youw 
OwO pie ÚwÚ and x3 youw porridge than uWu in x3 youw >w< cheek. xDD And x3 youw ^-^ viwginyity, 
x3 youw ;;w;; owd ^-^ viwginyity, >_> is ^.^ wike one of UwU ouw OwO Fwench :33 withew'd uWu peaws: >w< it 
:33 wooks UwU iww, >w< it ^w^ eats ÚwÚ dwiwy; marry, UwU 'tis :3 a :33 withew'd peaw; >w< it UwU was 
formerly uWu bettew; marry, yet UwU 'tis :3 a :33 withew'd :3 peaw. Will xDD you 
;;w;; anything with :33 it? 
HEWENyA. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 my ^w^ viwginyity >_> yet. 
>_> Thewe UwU shaww x3 youw >_< mastew uWu have :3 a thousand wuvs, 
^-^ A :33 mothew, ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ mistwess, ÚwÚ and :3 a fwiend, 
^-^ A xDD phoenyix, ;;w;; captain, ÚwÚ and >w< an enyemy, 
^-^ A OwO guide, :3 a xDD goddess, ÚwÚ and :3 a sovereign, 
^-^ A xDD counsewwow, :3 a traitress, ÚwÚ and :3 a deaw; 
ÚwÚ His humble ambition, OwO pwoud humility, 
ÚwÚ His >_< jawwing concord, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ discowd dulcet, 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ faith, :33 his x3 sweet disastew; with :3 a wowwd 
Of pretty, fond, OwO adoptious >_< chwistendoms 
:33 That ^.^ bwinking x3 Cupid ÚwÚ gossips. Now UwU shaww xDD he- 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what ^.^ he >_< shaww. ^w^ God >_> send ^.^ him OwO weww! 
uWu The ^w^ couwt's :3 a learning-place, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is UwU onye- 
PAROLLES. >_> What one, :33 i' OwO faith? 
HEWENyA. :33 That UwU I ÚwÚ wish well. 'Tis ;;w;; pity- 
PAROLLES. x3 What's x3 pity? 
HEWENyA. :33 That x3 wishing weww xDD had nyot :3 a >w< body OwO in't 
>_< Which ^w^ might be felt; :3 that :33 we, x3 the x3 poowew born, 
>_< Whose baser stars UwU do shut >_> us x3 up uWu in wishes, 
^.^ Might with UwU effects of them ;;w;; fowwow UwU ouw ^w^ fwiends 
xDD And x3 show >_> what ^.^ we awonye ^w^ must >_< think, which >_< nyevew 
Returns >_> us :33 thanks. 

Entew ^.^ PAGE 

xDD PAGE. ;;w;; Monsieuw Parolles, x3 my ;;w;; wowd ;;w;; cawws fow OwO you. uWu Exit ^.^ PAGE 
PAROLLES. >_< Wittwe Hewen, faweweww; >_> if UwU I ^.^ can remember ÚwÚ thee, UwU I xDD wiww 
think of uWu thee uWu at >_< couwt. 
HEWENyA. ;;w;; Monsieuw Parolles, xDD you :3 wewe bown :33 undew :3 a x3 chawitabwe uWu staw. 
PAROLLES. ;;w;; Undew :33 Maws, ^.^ I. 
HEWENyA. UwU I especially >_< think, :33 undew >_< Maws. 
PAROLLES. Why :33 undew UwU Man? 
HEWENyA. uWu The UwU waws hath UwU so :33 kept xDD you :33 undew :3 that xDD you ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be bown 
:33 undew >_< Maws. 
PAROLLES. x3 When ^.^ he UwU was predominant. 
HEWENyA. x3 When ^.^ he UwU was wetwogwade, UwU I >_< think, rather. 
PAROLLES. Why think xDD you so? 
HEWENyA. >_> You OwO go UwU so much uWu backwawd when xDD you ^w^ fight. 
PAROLLES. >w< That's fow uWu advantage. 
HEWENyA. ^w^ So >_> is wunnying away, when feaw ^-^ pwoposes x3 the >_< safety: >_> but x3 the 
composition :3 that x3 youw valour ÚwÚ and feaw x3 makes uWu in xDD you >_> is :3 a viwtue of 
:3 a ÚwÚ good *hugs tightly* wing, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ wike x3 the ^-^ weaw well. 
PAROLLES. UwU I ^w^ am UwU so full of business UwU I ;;w;; cannyot answew uWu thee acutewy. UwU I 
xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn :3 pewfect :33 couwtiew; uWu in x3 the which x3 my :33 instwuction UwU shaww 
serve to >_> nyatuwawize ÚwÚ thee, UwU so xDD thou wiwt be capabwe of :3 a x3 couwtiew's 
counsew, ÚwÚ and understand >_> what advice UwU shaww thwust ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee; >_> ewse 
xDD thou ^.^ diest uWu in ^.^ thinye unthankfuwnyess, ÚwÚ and ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ ignyowance x3 makes 
uWu thee xDD away. uWu Faweweww. x3 When xDD thou x3 hast >_> weisuwe, >_> say >w< thy pwayews; 
when xDD thou x3 hast nyonye, remember >w< thy fwiends. >_< Get uWu thee :3 a ÚwÚ good 
:33 husband ÚwÚ and use ^.^ him >_< as ^.^ he x3 uses thee. So, farewell. 
uWu Exit 
HEWENyA. Our remedies ;;w;; oft uWu in ouwsewves UwU do wie, 
>_< Which ^.^ we ascwibe to UwU heaven. uWu The :3 fated sky 
>w< Gives >_> us fwee >_> scope; >w< onwy xDD doth uWu backwawd puww 
Our slow designs when ^.^ we ouwsewves OwO awe duww. 
>_> What powew >_> is >w< it which ^-^ mounts x3 my wuv UwU so UwU high, 
:33 That x3 makes ;;w;; me see, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot >w< feed >_< minye ÚwÚ eye? 
uWu The mightiest xDD space uWu in :3 fowtunye ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_< bwings 
;;w;; To ^w^ join ^.^ wike :3 wikes, ÚwÚ and :3 kiss ^.^ wike OwO nyative xDD things. 
OwO Impossibwe be ;;w;; stwange OwO attempts to UwU those 
:33 That >w< weigh uWu theiw ^w^ pains uWu in sense, ÚwÚ and UwU do ^.^ suppose 
>_> What hath :33 been ;;w;; cannyot >w< be. Who OwO evew >_> stwuv 
;;w;; To x3 show her merit :3 that uWu did ;;w;; miss her love? 
uWu The >_< King's >w< disease-my UwU pwoject OwO may >w< deceive uWu me, 
OwO But x3 my x3 intents OwO awe OwO fix'd, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot OwO weave x3 me. uWu Exit 




^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
Paris. uWu The KING'S ^w^ pawace 

Flourish of cownyets. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE, with letters, 
ÚwÚ and divers OwO ATTENDANTS 

>w< KING. uWu The uWu Fwowentinyes ÚwÚ and Senoys OwO awe ^.^ by x3 th' ears; 
:3 Have ÚwÚ fought with equal fowtunye, ÚwÚ and >w< continyue 
^-^ A :33 bwaving waw. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^w^ So UwU 'tis wepowted, sir. 
>w< KING. Nyay, UwU 'tis UwU most cwedibwe. We OwO hewe receive :33 it, 
^-^ A ÚwÚ cewtainty, ^.^ vouch'd from UwU ouw xDD cousin Austria, 
With ^.^ caution, :3 that x3 the x3 Fwowentinye xDD wiww move >_> us 
For UwU speedy aid; wherein UwU ouw deawest :33 fwiend 
Pwejudicates x3 the business, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd xDD seem 
;;w;; To uWu have >_> us >_< make OwO denyiaw. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ÚwÚ His wuv ÚwÚ and wisdom, 
Approv'd UwU so to x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, OwO may pwead 
For amplest >_> cwedence. 
>w< KING. >w< He hath awm'd UwU ouw ÚwÚ answew, 
xDD And xDD Fwowence >_> is >w< denyied >w< befowe ^.^ he ;;w;; comes; 
Yet, fow UwU ouw gentlemen :3 that >_> mean to >_> see 
uWu The ^w^ Tuscan sewvice, freely uWu have ;;w;; they OwO weave 
;;w;; To stand on xDD eithew part. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^.^ It weww OwO may serve 
^-^ A OwO nyuwsewy to UwU ouw gentry, who OwO awe >w< sick 
For :33 bweathing ÚwÚ and >_> expwoit. 
>w< KING. x3 What's ^.^ he x3 comes hewe? 

Entew BERTRAM, OwO WAFEU, ÚwÚ and x3 PAWOWWES 

uWu FIWST WOWD. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the xDD Count :33 Wousiwwon, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
Young ^w^ Bewtwam. 
>w< KING. ^w^ Youth, xDD thou >_< beaw'st >w< thy father's face; 
ÚwÚ Fwank nyatuwe, rather curious than uWu in xDD haste, 
>_< Hath weww xDD compos'd thee. x3 Thy father's :3 mowaw parts 
xDD Mayst xDD thou x3 inhewit ;;w;; too! Welcome to Paris. 
BERTRAM. OwO My thanks ÚwÚ and >_> duty OwO awe x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty's. 
>w< KING. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had :3 that corporal ^w^ soundnyess now, 
;;w;; As when >w< thy >w< fathew ÚwÚ and mysewf uWu in ÚwÚ fwiendship 
First ;;w;; twied UwU ouw soldiership. >w< He uWu did wook uWu faw 
^.^ Into x3 the OwO sewvice of x3 the time, ÚwÚ and UwU was 
Discipled of x3 the bravest. >w< He wasted xDD wong; 
OwO But on >_> us both uWu did >_< haggish age ^.^ steaw ;;w;; on, 
xDD And ÚwÚ wowe >_> us x3 out of act. ^.^ It much repairs ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To tawk of x3 youw ÚwÚ good :33 fathew. ^w^ In :33 his :33 youth 
>w< He xDD had x3 the wit which UwU I ^.^ can weww uWu obsewve 
OwO To-day uWu in UwU ouw xDD young :3 wowds; >_> but ;;w;; they OwO may xDD jest 
Tiww uWu theiw UwU own ^w^ scown ^-^ wetuwn to them unnyoted 
Ere ;;w;; they ^.^ can hide uWu theiw levity uWu in honyouw. 
^w^ So ^.^ wike :3 a couwtiew, x3 contempt nor uWu bittewnyess 
^.^ Wewe uWu in :33 his >_< pwide ow x3 shawpnyess; >_> if ;;w;; they uWu wewe, 
ÚwÚ His equal xDD had :33 awak'd OwO them; ÚwÚ and :33 his honyouw, 
Clock to itself, UwU knyew x3 the true minyute when 
>_< Exception bid ^.^ him :3 speak, ÚwÚ and uWu at ÚwÚ this time 
ÚwÚ His >_> tongue obey'd :33 his >w< hand. Who :3 wewe bewow ^.^ him 
>w< He ;;w;; us'd >_< as ^-^ cweatuwes of anyothew pwace; 
xDD And uWu bow'd :33 his eminyent ;;w;; top to uWu theiw wow ranks, 
^.^ Making them OwO pwoud of :33 his humility 
^w^ In uWu theiw poor praise ^.^ he humbled. >w< Such :3 a x3 man 
^.^ Might be :3 a copy to these :3 youngew x3 times; 
>_< Which, fowwowed weww, ^.^ wouwd demonstrate them nyow 
OwO But :33 goews backwawd. 
BERTRAM. ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ good ^w^ wemembwance, ^w^ siw, 
Lies xDD wichew uWu in x3 youw >_< thoughts than on :33 his UwU tomb; 
^w^ So uWu in approof ;;w;; wives nyot :33 his UwU epitaph 
;;w;; As uWu in x3 youw royal :33 speech. 
>w< KING. Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe with x3 him! >w< He ^.^ wouwd awways UwU say- 
Methinks UwU I hear ^.^ him >_< nyow; :33 his pwausive wowds 
>w< He scatter'd nyot uWu in ;;w;; eaws, >_> but uWu gwafted them 
;;w;; To gwow thewe, ÚwÚ and to beaw- ^w^ 'Wet ;;w;; me nyot live'- 
This :33 his ÚwÚ good ^-^ mewanchowy ;;w;; oft began, 
On x3 the catastrophe ÚwÚ and OwO heew of >_< pastime, 
x3 When >w< it UwU was >_< out-'Wet ;;w;; me nyot live' quoth ^.^ he 
'After x3 my fwame lacks ÚwÚ oiw, to be x3 the ;;w;; snyuff 
Of :3 youngew ^.^ spiwits, x3 whose x3 appwehensive :33 senses 
All >_> but x3 nyew ^.^ things uWu disdain; x3 whose ^.^ judgments OwO awe 
Mere uWu fathews of uWu theiw UwU gawments; x3 whose ÚwÚ constancies 
Expiwe >w< befowe uWu theiw fashions.' This ^.^ he UwU wish'd. 
I, ÚwÚ aftew :3 him, UwU do ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ him ÚwÚ wish :3 too, 
Since UwU I nor OwO wax nor honey ^.^ can ;;w;; bwing ^.^ home, 
UwU I quickly :3 wewe ;;w;; dissowved from x3 my xDD hive, 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 some wabouwews uWu woom. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. uWu You'we loved, siw; 
^-^ They :3 that least xDD wend >w< it xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ wack xDD you fiwst. 
>w< KING. UwU I ^w^ fiww :3 a pwace, UwU I uWu knyow't. How ^-^ wong >w< is't, ^.^ Count, 
Since x3 the ^.^ physician uWu at x3 youw father's UwU died? 
>w< He UwU was much :3 fam'd. 
BERTRAM. ;;w;; Some six ^w^ months since, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 wewe >w< wiving, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> twy ^.^ him UwU yet- 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me >w< an arm-the xDD west uWu have wown ;;w;; me x3 out 
With sevewaw ^-^ appwications. ÚwÚ Nyatuwe ÚwÚ and sicknyess 
xDD Debate >w< it uWu at uWu theiw xDD weisuwe. Welcome, :33 Count; 
OwO My ÚwÚ son's nyo ÚwÚ deawew. 
BERTRAM. ^-^ Thank x3 youw >_< Majesty. Exeunt [Flourish] 




^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
^.^ Wousiwwon. uWu The >_> COUNT'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew uWu COUNTESS, x3 STEWAWD, ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

COUNTESS. UwU I xDD wiww nyow :3 heaw; >_> what >_> say xDD you of ÚwÚ this gentwewoman? 
STEWARD. uWu Madam, x3 the :3 cawe UwU I uWu have xDD had to even x3 youw :3 content UwU I ÚwÚ wish 
^w^ might be >_> found uWu in x3 the calendar of x3 my x3 past endeavours; fow xDD then ^.^ we 
;;w;; wound UwU ouw OwO modesty, ÚwÚ and >_< make fouw x3 the :3 cweawnyess of UwU ouw deservings, 
when of ouwsewves ^.^ we xDD pubwish OwO them. 
COUNTESS. >_> What does ÚwÚ this x3 knyave hewe? >_< Get xDD you >w< gonye, sirrah. uWu The 
>w< compwaints UwU I uWu have heard of xDD you UwU I UwU do nyot aww >w< bewieve; UwU 'tis x3 my 
slowness :3 that UwU I UwU do >_> nyot, fow UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you ^.^ wack nyot >w< fowwy to :3 commit 
them ÚwÚ and uWu have ability enough to >_< make xDD such knaveries x3 youws. 
uWu CWOWN. 'Tis nyot unknown to UwU you, UwU madam, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a poor UwU fewwow. 
COUNTESS. xDD Weww, sir. 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Nyo, UwU madam, UwU 'tis nyot UwU so weww :3 that UwU I ^w^ am OwO poow, ^w^ though UwU many of 
x3 the rich OwO awe x3 damn'd; >_> but >_> if UwU I OwO may uWu have x3 youw uWu wadyship's ÚwÚ good xDD wiww 
to OwO go to x3 the ^w^ wowwd, Isbel x3 the OwO woman ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww UwU do >_< as ^.^ we may. 
COUNTESS. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou >_< nyeeds be :3 a ^.^ beggaw? 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ beg x3 youw ÚwÚ good xDD wiww uWu in ÚwÚ this :3 case. 
COUNTESS. ^w^ In >_> what x3 case? 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ In Isbew's case ÚwÚ and >_< minye own. ;;w;; Sewvice >_> is nyo ;;w;; hewitage; ÚwÚ and UwU I 
think UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew uWu have x3 the >_> bwessing of ^w^ God >w< tiww UwU I uWu have x3 issue ^.^ o' 
x3 my >w< body; fow ;;w;; they >_> say ^-^ bames OwO awe blessings. 
COUNTESS. Teww ;;w;; me >w< thy reason >w< why xDD thou wiwt marry. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO My poor ;;w;; body, UwU madam, uWu wequiwes :3 it. UwU I ^w^ am driven on ^.^ by x3 the 
flesh; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ^w^ must >_< nyeeds OwO go :3 that x3 the ^.^ deviw dwives. 
COUNTESS. Is ÚwÚ this aww x3 youw ^w^ wowship's uWu weason? 
uWu CWOWN. Faith, UwU madam, UwU I uWu have othew >w< howy ^w^ weasons, xDD such >_< as ;;w;; they x3 awe. 
COUNTESS. ^-^ May x3 the wowwd ^.^ knyow them? 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I uWu have ^-^ been, UwU madam, :3 a wicked x3 cweatuwe, >_< as xDD you ÚwÚ and aww >w< fwesh 
ÚwÚ and :3 bwood >_< awe; x3 and, :33 indeed, UwU I UwU do marry :3 that UwU I OwO may wepent. 
COUNTESS. x3 Thy ^.^ mawwiage, :33 soonyew than >w< thy ^w^ wickednyess. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ^w^ am x3 out ^.^ o' OwO fwiends, UwU madam, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU hope to uWu have ^w^ fwiends fow 
x3 my ^w^ wife's sake. 
COUNTESS. >w< Such ^w^ fwiends OwO awe ^.^ thinye UwU enyemies, knave. 
uWu CWOWN. Y'awe ^w^ shawwow, xDD madam-in great >_< fwiends; fow x3 the knyaves come 
to UwU do :3 that fow ;;w;; me which UwU I ^w^ am >_> aweawy uWu of. >w< He :3 that OwO eaws x3 my ÚwÚ wand 
spares x3 my ^w^ team, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me OwO weave to uWu in x3 the crop. ;;w;; If UwU I be :33 his 
^w^ cuckowd, uWu he's x3 my >_> dwudge. >w< He :3 that UwU comfowts x3 my >w< wife >_> is x3 the 
chewishew of x3 my >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and ^-^ bwood; ^.^ he :3 that >_< chewishes x3 my >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and 
:3 bwood loves x3 my >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and ^-^ bwood; ^.^ he :3 that loves x3 my >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and :3 bwood 
>_> is x3 my fwiend; ergo, ^.^ he :3 that ^-^ kisses x3 my >w< wife >_> is x3 my :3 fwiend. ;;w;; If ;;w;; men 
couwd be UwU contented to be >_> what ;;w;; they awe, there :3 wewe nyo feaw uWu in 
mawwiage; fow xDD young Charbon x3 the ^.^ puwitan ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd Poysam x3 the 
x3 papist, howsome'ew uWu theiw heawts OwO awe sever'd uWu in ^w^ wewigion, uWu theiw 
heads OwO awe both onye; ;;w;; they OwO may jowl >w< howns togethew ^.^ wike xDD any >w< deew 
:33 i' x3 th' x3 hewd. 
COUNTESS. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou OwO evew be :3 a uWu fouw-mouth'd ÚwÚ and uWu cawumnyious >_< knyave? 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ A :33 pwophet I, x3 madam; ÚwÚ and UwU I speak x3 the uWu twuth x3 the :3 nyext >_< way: 

For UwU I x3 the >w< bawwad xDD wiww :33 wepeat, 
>_< Which ;;w;; men full true UwU shaww ÚwÚ find: 
uWu Youw ^.^ mawwiage x3 comes ^.^ by destiny, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; cuckoo ^-^ sings ^.^ by kind. 

COUNTESS. >_< Get xDD you >w< gonye, siw; I'll tawk with xDD you ^.^ mowe x3 anyon. 
STEWARD. ^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, UwU madam, :3 that ^.^ he bid :33 Hewen come to OwO you. 
Of her UwU I ^w^ am to >_< speak. 
COUNTESS. Siwwah, tell x3 my :33 gentwewoman UwU I ^.^ wouwd speak with >w< hew; :33 Hewen 
UwU I x3 mean. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO [Sings] 

'Was ÚwÚ this >w< faiw OwO face x3 the ^-^ cause' quoth ^.^ she 
UwU 'Why x3 the xDD Gwecians sacked >w< Twoy? 
^w^ Fond :33 donye, donye fond, 
Was ÚwÚ this ^w^ King ^w^ Pwiam's >_> joy?' 
With :3 that ^.^ she :3 sighed >_< as ^.^ she >_> stood, 
With :3 that ^.^ she :3 sighed >_< as ^.^ she >_> stood, 
xDD And uWu gave ÚwÚ this :33 sentence >_< then: 
;;w;; 'Among >w< nyinye :33 bad >_> if one be UwU good, 
>_> Among >w< nyinye :33 bad >_> if one be UwU good, 
>_> Thewe's yet one ÚwÚ good uWu in uWu ten.' 

COUNTESS. What, one ÚwÚ good uWu in >w< ten? >_> You corrupt x3 the song, sirrah. 
uWu CWOWN. x3 Onye ÚwÚ good OwO woman uWu in x3 ten, UwU madam, which >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ puwifying ^.^ o' x3 th' 
:33 song. Wouwd ^w^ God ^.^ wouwd serve x3 the wowwd UwU so aww x3 the year! ^-^ We'd find 
nyo ;;w;; fauwt with x3 the >_> tithe-woman, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe x3 the parson. x3 Onye uWu in x3 ten, 
quoth 'a! ^-^ An ^.^ we ^w^ might uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ good OwO woman bown >w< befowe every blazing 
UwU staw, ow uWu at >w< an earthquake, ^w^ 'twouwd mend x3 the ^-^ wottewy well: :3 a x3 man 
OwO may dwaw :33 his >_< heawt x3 out ere xDD 'a pluck onye. 
COUNTESS. You'll be >w< gonye, ^w^ siw ^-^ knyave, ÚwÚ and UwU do >_< as UwU I ÚwÚ command OwO you. 
uWu CWOWN. :33 That x3 man >_> shouwd be uWu at xDD woman's >_> command, ÚwÚ and yet nyo ÚwÚ huwt uWu donye! 
;;w;; Though honesty be nyo puritan, yet >w< it xDD wiww UwU do nyo huwt; >w< it xDD wiww 
^-^ weaw x3 the ÚwÚ suwpwice of humility uvw x3 the black ÚwÚ gown of :3 a big ;;w;; heawt. 
UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ going, ^-^ fowsooth. uWu The business >_> is fow :33 Hewen to come hithew. 
uWu Exit 
COUNTESS. xDD Weww, now. 
STEWARD. UwU I knyow, UwU madam, xDD you wuv x3 youw :33 gentwewoman xDD entiwewy. 
COUNTESS. ÚwÚ Faith UwU I xDD do. :3 Hew >w< fathew uWu bequeath'd her to OwO me; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she 
herself, ^-^ without othew ÚwÚ advantage, OwO may wawfuwwy >_< make ;;w;; titwe to >_< as 
much wuv >_< as ^.^ she >_> finds. >_> Thewe >_> is ^.^ mowe ^w^ owing her than >_> is paid; ÚwÚ and 
^.^ mowe UwU shaww be paid her than ^.^ she'ww >_> demand. 
STEWARD. uWu Madam, UwU I UwU was xDD vewy wate ^.^ mowe nyeaw her than UwU I think ^.^ she 
>w< wish'd x3 me. uWu Awonye ^.^ she UwU was, ÚwÚ and uWu did >_> communyicate to herself her UwU own 
wowds to her UwU own ears; ^.^ she ^-^ thought, UwU I dawe vow fow hew, ;;w;; they 
touch'd nyot xDD any stwangew ÚwÚ sense. :3 Hew ;;w;; mattew UwU was, ^.^ she xDD wuvd x3 youw 
OwO son. ÚwÚ Fowtunye, ^.^ she said, UwU was nyo xDD goddess, :3 that xDD had put xDD such 
^.^ diffewence betwixt uWu theiw >w< two estates; Wuv nyo ^.^ god, :3 that ^.^ wouwd nyot 
:3 extend :33 his ^w^ might >w< onwy :3 whewe :33 quawities :3 wewe ^.^ wevew; Diana nyo >_< queen 
of ^-^ viwgins, :3 that ^.^ wouwd suffew her poor knight suwpwis'd ^-^ without 
OwO wescue uWu in x3 the xDD fiwst uWu assauwt, ow wansom afterward. This ^.^ she 
:33 dewivew'd uWu in x3 the UwU most UwU bittew :33 touch of sorrow :3 that ;;w;; e'ew UwU I heard 
;;w;; viwgin excwaim UwU in; which UwU I hewd x3 my >_> duty :33 speediwy to >w< acquaint xDD you 
withal; ^w^ sithence, uWu in x3 the ^-^ woss :3 that OwO may happen, >w< it uWu concewns xDD you 
^-^ something to ^.^ knyow :3 it. 
COUNTESS. YOU uWu have UwU dischawg'd ÚwÚ this >_< honyestwy; >_< keep >w< it to OwO youwsewf. 
xDD Many wikewihoods inform'd ;;w;; me of ÚwÚ this x3 befowe, which UwU hung UwU so 
:3 tott'wing uWu in x3 the ^w^ bawance :3 that UwU I couwd :3 nyeithew ^-^ bewieve nor 
:33 misdoubt. >_> Pway xDD you OwO weave x3 me. Stall ÚwÚ this uWu in x3 youw x3 bosom; ÚwÚ and UwU I 
>_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw xDD honyest >w< cawe. UwU I xDD wiww speak with xDD you further 
x3 anyon. uWu Exit :3 STEWAWD 

Entew HEWENyA 

Even UwU so >w< it UwU was with ;;w;; me when UwU I UwU was ^w^ young. 
;;w;; If OwO evew ^.^ we OwO awe nyatuwe's, these OwO awe >_> ouws; ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ thown 
^-^ Doth to UwU ouw wose of :33 youth rightly ^-^ bewong; 
Our :3 bwood to us, ÚwÚ this to UwU ouw :3 bwood >_> is born. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the x3 show ÚwÚ and UwU seaw of ;;w;; nyatuwe's truth, 
Whewe love's >w< stwong passion >_> is xDD impwess'd uWu in >_< youth. 
^-^ By UwU ouw xDD wemembwances of OwO days foregone, 
>w< Such :3 wewe UwU ouw fauwts, ow xDD then ^.^ we xDD thought them none. 
:3 Hew ^w^ eye >_> is >w< sick ^-^ on't; UwU I uWu obsewve her now. 
HEWENyA. >_> What >_> is x3 youw x3 pweasuwe, :33 madam? 
COUNTESS. >_> You knyow, Hewen, 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a mothew to OwO you. 
HEWENyA. Mine ^.^ honyouwabwe ^w^ mistwess. 
COUNTESS. Nyay, :3 a x3 mothew. 
Why nyot :3 a mothew? x3 When UwU I uWu said xDD 'a mother,' 
:33 Methought xDD you saw :3 a serpent. x3 What's uWu in 'mothew' 
:33 That xDD you start uWu at :33 it? UwU I >_> say UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw :33 mothew, 
xDD And put xDD you uWu in x3 the ^-^ catawogue of UwU those 
:33 That :3 wewe enwombed ^w^ minye. 'Tis often :3 seen 
>w< Adoption :3 stwives with nyatuwe, ÚwÚ and UwU choice breeds 
^-^ A OwO nyative swip to >_> us from :33 foweign ^-^ seeds. 
>_> You ^w^ nye'ew :33 oppwess'd ;;w;; me with :3 a ;;w;; mothew's gwoan, 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I express to xDD you :3 a ;;w;; mothew's >w< cawe. 
>_> God's mercy, ;;w;; maiden! does >w< it curd >w< thy :3 bwood 
;;w;; To >_> say UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy mothew? x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, 
:33 That ÚwÚ this OwO distempewed :3 messengew of uWu wet, 
uWu The xDD many-cowouw'd Iwis, wounds ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ eye? 
Why, :3 that xDD you OwO awe x3 my daughter? 
HEWENyA. :33 That UwU I ^w^ am not. 
COUNTESS. UwU I >_> say UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw x3 mothew. 
HEWENyA. Pawdon, UwU madam. 
uWu The xDD Count >w< Wousiwwon ;;w;; cannyot be x3 my ^-^ bwothew: 
UwU I ^w^ am from humble, ^.^ he from honyouwed UwU nyame; 
No ^-^ nyote ;;w;; upon x3 my pawents, :33 his aww noble. 
OwO My ^.^ mastew, x3 my uWu deaw ;;w;; wowd ^.^ he is; ÚwÚ and UwU I 
ÚwÚ His xDD sewvant x3 wive, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww :33 his ^.^ vassaw die. 
>w< He ^w^ must nyot be x3 my ^-^ bwothew. 
COUNTESS. x3 Nyow UwU I x3 youw mothew? 
HEWENyA. >_> You OwO awe x3 my :33 mothew, x3 madam; ^.^ wouwd xDD you were- 
^w^ So :3 that x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 youw >_< son :3 wewe nyot x3 my bwothew- 
:33 Indeed x3 my mothew! :33 Ow :3 wewe xDD you both UwU ouw mothews, 
UwU I :3 cawe nyo ^.^ mowe fow than UwU I UwU do fow ^.^ heaven, 
^w^ So UwU I :3 wewe nyot :33 his sister. uWu Can't nyo ÚwÚ othew, 
But, UwU I x3 youw ^w^ daughtew, ^.^ he ^w^ must be x3 my bwothew? 
COUNTESS. Yes, Hewen, xDD you ^w^ might be x3 my daughter-in-law. 
^w^ God OwO shiewd xDD you >_> mean >w< it ^w^ nyot! 'daughter' ÚwÚ and 'mothew' 
^w^ So strive ;;w;; upon x3 youw ^-^ puwse. What! pawe ^w^ again? 
OwO My feaw hath UwU catch'd x3 youw >_< fondnyess. Now UwU I >_> see 
uWu The ÚwÚ myst'wy of x3 youw ;;w;; wonyewinyess, ÚwÚ and find 
uWu Youw ^-^ sawt teaws' >_> head. Now to aww sense UwU 'tis gwoss 
>_> You wuv x3 my son; >w< invention >_> is asham'd, 
^w^ Against x3 the pwocwamation of >w< thy ^-^ passion, 
;;w;; To >_> say xDD thou dost not. Therefore tell ;;w;; me true; 
OwO But tell ;;w;; me >w< then, UwU 'tis so; for, look, >w< thy >_> cheeks 
^w^ Confess :33 it, x3 th' one to x3 th' >w< othew; ÚwÚ and ^.^ thinye eyes 
xDD See >w< it UwU so grossly OwO shown uWu in >w< thy behaviours 
:33 That uWu in uWu theiw uWu kind ;;w;; they speak uWu it; >w< onwy x3 sin 
xDD And hewwish obstinacy :33 tie >w< thy ;;w;; tongue, 
:33 That uWu twuth >_> shouwd be >_> suspected. ÚwÚ Speak, :3 is't so? 
;;w;; If >w< it be >_> so, xDD you uWu have ;;w;; wound :3 a xDD goodwy ^-^ cwew; 
;;w;; If >w< it be >_> nyot, :33 fowsweaw't; UwU howe'ew, UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; As heaven UwU shaww ^.^ wowk uWu in ;;w;; me fow ^.^ thinye :33 avaiw, 
;;w;; To tell ;;w;; me UwU twuwy. 
HEWENyA. ^-^ Good UwU madam, UwU pawdon x3 me. 
COUNTESS. Do xDD you wuv x3 my uWu son? 
HEWENyA. uWu Youw pardon, x3 nyobwe ^w^ mistwess. 
COUNTESS. Wuv xDD you x3 my uWu son? 
HEWENyA. Do nyot xDD you wuv :3 him, :33 madam? 
COUNTESS. Go nyot >_> about; x3 my wuv hath OwO in't :3 a :3 bond 
:3 Wheweof x3 the wowwd UwU takes note. ^.^ Come, come, discwose 
uWu The >w< state of x3 youw ^w^ affection; fow x3 youw passions 
:3 Have to x3 the full appeach'd. 
HEWENyA. UwU Then UwU I >_> confess, 
:3 Hewe on x3 my OwO knyee, >w< befowe xDD high heaven ÚwÚ and UwU you, 
:33 That >w< befowe UwU you, ÚwÚ and :3 nyext >w< unto xDD high ^.^ heaven, 
UwU I wuv x3 youw OwO son. 
OwO My ^w^ fwiends :3 wewe OwO poow, >_> but xDD honyest; so's x3 my love. 
^w^ Be nyot ^.^ offended, fow >w< it OwO huwts nyot ^.^ him 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is :3 wov'd of OwO me; UwU I ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him nyot 
^-^ By xDD any ;;w;; token of pwesumptuous ^.^ suit, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ wouwd UwU I uWu have ^.^ him >w< tiww UwU I UwU do OwO desewve him; 
ÚwÚ Yet >_< nyevew ^.^ knyow >w< how :3 that desewt >_> shouwd >w< be. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU I wuv uWu in vain, strive OwO against >_> hope; 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu captious ÚwÚ and intenyibwe ^w^ sieve 
UwU I still pouw uWu in x3 the watews of x3 my xDD wuv, 
xDD And ^.^ wack nyot to wose xDD stiww. Thus, ÚwÚ Indian-wike, 
Wewigious uWu in >_< minye error, UwU I >_> adowe 
uWu The sun :3 that :33 wooks ;;w;; upon :33 his worshipper 
OwO But xDD knyows of ^.^ him nyo more. OwO My deawest UwU madam, 
Let nyot x3 youw ^-^ hate x3 encountew with x3 my xDD wuv, 
For >w< woving :3 whewe xDD you do; >_> but >_> if yourself, 
>_< Whose ^-^ aged honour :33 cites :3 a virtuous youth, 
Did OwO evew uWu in UwU so true :3 a fwame of UwU wiking 
^-^ Wish x3 chastewy ÚwÚ and wuv ÚwÚ deawwy :3 that x3 youw uWu Dian 
Was both herself ÚwÚ and >w< Wuv; >_< O, >w< then, UwU give pity 
;;w;; To her x3 whose >w< state >_> is xDD such :3 that ;;w;; cannyot choose 
OwO But xDD wend ÚwÚ and UwU give :3 whewe ^.^ she >_> is >_< suwe to OwO wose; 
:33 That >_> seeks nyot to find :3 that her ^-^ seawch impwies, 
But, riddle-like, ;;w;; wives sweetly :3 whewe ^.^ she dies! 
COUNTESS. xDD Had xDD you nyot :3 watewy >w< an ÚwÚ intent-speak >_< twuwy- 
;;w;; To OwO go to uWu Pawis? 
HEWENyA. uWu Madam, UwU I xDD had. 
COUNTESS. Whewefowe? Teww true. 
HEWENyA. UwU I xDD wiww tell truth; ^.^ by xDD gwace itsewf UwU I OwO sweaw. 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 my >w< fathew left ;;w;; me x3 some prescriptions 
Of OwO wawe ÚwÚ and ^.^ pwov'd ^-^ effects, xDD such >_< as :33 his weading 
xDD And UwU manyifest UwU expewience xDD had collected 
For general >_< suvweignty; ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ he >_> wiww'd ;;w;; me 
^w^ In heedfull'st wesewvation to bestow ÚwÚ them, 
;;w;; As >_> nyotes x3 whose faculties inclusive :3 wewe 
uWu Mowe than ;;w;; they :3 wewe uWu in note. ^-^ Amongst x3 the xDD west 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a ^.^ wemedy, OwO appwov'd, uWu set ;;w;; down, 
;;w;; To >w< cuwe x3 the despewate ;;w;; wanguishings xDD wheweof 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> is render'd :3 wost. 
COUNTESS. This UwU was x3 youw motive 
For >_< Pawis, UwU was :33 it? :33 Speak. 
HEWENyA. OwO My ;;w;; wowd x3 youw >_< son UwU made ;;w;; me to think of uWu this, 
^-^ Ewse >_< Pawis, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ medicinye, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO King, 
xDD Had from x3 the ^w^ convewsation of x3 my >_< thoughts 
Haply :33 been absent UwU then. 
COUNTESS. OwO But think UwU you, Hewen, 
;;w;; If xDD you >_> shouwd xDD tendew x3 youw ^.^ supposed ^w^ aid, 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd receive :33 it? >w< He ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 physicians 
^w^ Awe of :3 a xDD mind: xDD he, :3 that ;;w;; they ;;w;; cannyot OwO hewp him; 
>_> They, :3 that ;;w;; they ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; hewp. How UwU shaww ;;w;; they cwedit 
^-^ A poor unweawnyed xDD viwgin, when x3 the ^-^ schoows, 
:3 Emboweww'd of uWu theiw >_< doctwinye, uWu have wet x3 off 
uWu The danger to ÚwÚ itsewf? 
HEWENyA. >_> Thewe's ^-^ something OwO in't 
uWu Mowe than x3 my father's ^-^ skiww, which UwU was x3 the gweat'st 
Of :33 his >_> pwofession, :3 that :33 his ÚwÚ good :33 weceipt 
Shall fow x3 my wegacy be ^-^ sanctified 
^-^ By x3 th' uWu wuckiest stars uWu in xDD heaven; x3 and, ^.^ wouwd x3 youw honour 
OwO But UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to >_> twy uWu success, ;;w;; I'd venture 
uWu The x3 weww-wost >w< wife of >_< minye on :33 his ;;w;; Gwace's x3 cuwe. 
^-^ By xDD such :3 a day ÚwÚ and hour. 
COUNTESS. uWu Dost xDD thou >_< bewieve't? 
HEWENyA. Ay, UwU madam, >w< knyowingwy. 
COUNTESS. Why, Hewen, xDD thou shalt uWu have x3 my OwO weave ÚwÚ and xDD wuv, 
>_> Means ÚwÚ and uWu attendants, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< woving ^.^ gweetings 
;;w;; To UwU those of >_< minye uWu in >_< couwt. I'll xDD stay uWu at ^.^ home, 
xDD And pray >_> God's >_> bwessing x3 into >w< thy attempt. 
^w^ Be >_> gonye to-morrow; ÚwÚ and be >_< suwe of uWu this, 
>_> What UwU I ^.^ can OwO hewp uWu thee to xDD thou shalt nyot uWu miss. Exeunt 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
Paris. uWu The KING'S ^w^ pawace 

Flourish of cownyets. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING with divers xDD young ;;w;; WOWDS :3 taking OwO weave 
fow x3 the x3 Fwowentinye UwU waw; >_> BEWTWAM ÚwÚ and PAROLLES; OwO ATTENDANTS 

>w< KING. UwU Faweweww, xDD young :3 wowds; these >_< waw-wike principles 
Do nyot ^-^ thwow from OwO you. xDD And UwU you, x3 my wowds, faweweww; 
Shawe x3 the advice betwixt uWu you; >_> if both ^.^ gain all, 
uWu The ^w^ gift xDD doth stretch itsewf >_< as UwU 'tis weceiv'd, 
xDD And >_> is enough fow xDD both. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. 'Tis UwU ouw hope, ^w^ siw, 
>w< Aftew ^-^ weww-ent'wed xDD sowdiews, to ^-^ wetuwn 
xDD And find x3 youw Gwace uWu in ^-^ heawth. 
>w< KING. :3 Nyo, no, >w< it ;;w;; cannyot be; ÚwÚ and yet x3 my >_< heawt 
Will nyot x3 confess ^.^ he >_> owes x3 the ^w^ mawady 
:33 That xDD doth x3 my >w< wife uWu besiege. UwU Faweweww, xDD young :3 wowds; 
Whethew UwU I ^w^ wive ow >_> die, be xDD you x3 the xDD sons 
Of ÚwÚ wowthy :33 Fwenchmen; wet :3 highew x3 Itawy- 
>w< Those bated :3 that x3 inhewit >_> but x3 the faww 
Of x3 the >w< wast uWu monyawchy-see :3 that xDD you come 
ÚwÚ Nyot to ^.^ woo honyouw, >_> but to x3 wed uWu it; when 
uWu The ÚwÚ bwavest >_< questant shwinks, find >_> what xDD you seek, 
:33 That fame OwO may cwy xDD you ^.^ awoud. UwU I >_> say farewell. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Heawth, uWu at x3 youw bidding, serve x3 youw Majesty! 
>w< KING. >w< Those giwws of Italy, OwO take :3 heed of OwO them; 
^-^ They >_> say UwU ouw OwO Fwench ^.^ wack language to deny, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they :3 demand; UwU bewawe of ^.^ being captives 
^.^ Befowe xDD you ^.^ sewve. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. Our heawts receive x3 youw ^.^ wawnyings. 
>w< KING. uWu Faweweww. :33 [To ÚwÚ ATTENDANTS] :3 Come ÚwÚ hithew to x3 me. 
uWu The ;;w;; KING wetiwes ^w^ attended 
uWu FIWST WOWD. x3 O x3 my x3 sweet uWu wowd, :3 that xDD you xDD wiww xDD stay x3 behind ÚwÚ us! 
PAROLLES. 'Tis nyot :33 his ^w^ fauwt, x3 the :3 spawk. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >_< O, UwU 'tis >_< bwave x3 waws! 
PAROLLES. :3 Most ÚwÚ admiwabwe! UwU I uWu have :3 seen UwU those waws. 
BERTRAM. UwU I ^w^ am :3 commanded OwO hewe ÚwÚ and :33 kept :3 a coiw with 
ÚwÚ 'Too OwO young' ÚwÚ and :3 nyext xDD yeaw' ÚwÚ and ^w^ "Tis ^w^ too >_> eawwy.' 
PAROLLES. ^-^ An >w< thy ^-^ mind stand to :3 't, ^-^ boy, ^.^ steaw OwO away bwavewy. 
BERTRAM. UwU I UwU shaww xDD stay OwO hewe x3 the >w< fowehowse to :3 a uWu smock, 
Cweaking x3 my xDD shoes on x3 the uWu pwain masonry, 
Tiww honour be xDD bought up, ÚwÚ and nyo xDD swowd wown 
OwO But one to UwU dance with. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, I'll ^.^ steaw xDD away. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> Thewe's honour uWu in x3 the theft. 
PAROLLES. ^-^ Commit :33 it, xDD Count. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw ÚwÚ accessawy; ÚwÚ and UwU so farewell. 
BERTRAM. UwU I gwow to UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw >w< pawting >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ towtuw'd body. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU Faweweww, ^-^ Captain. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ÚwÚ Sweet ;;w;; Monsieuw Pawowwes! 
PAROLLES. Noble :3 hewoes, x3 my xDD swowd ÚwÚ and >_> youws OwO awe x3 kin. ^-^ Good OwO spawks ÚwÚ and 
>_> wustwous, :3 a word, ÚwÚ good ^w^ metaws: xDD you UwU shaww find uWu in x3 the >_< wegiment of 
x3 the Spinii one uWu Captain Spuwio, with :33 his >w< cicatwice, >w< an x3 embwem of 
waw, OwO hewe on :33 his sinyistew OwO cheek; >w< it UwU was ÚwÚ this xDD vewy xDD swowd 
entwench'd :3 it. x3 Say to ^.^ him UwU I ÚwÚ wive; ÚwÚ and uWu obsewve :33 his ÚwÚ wepowts fow x3 me. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. We UwU shaww, x3 nyobwe ^-^ Captain. 
PAROLLES. uWu Maws >_> dote on xDD you fow :33 his x3 nyovices! Exeunt ;;w;; WOWDS 
>_> What xDD wiww OwO ye ^-^ do? 

^.^ We-entew x3 the ;;w;; KING 

BERTRAM. UwU Stay; x3 the King! 
PAROLLES. ^w^ Use :3 a ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ spacious ceremony to x3 the x3 nyobwe :3 wowds; xDD you uWu have 
>_< westwain'd >_> youwsewf within x3 the ÚwÚ wist of ^w^ too UwU cowd >w< an ^w^ adieu. ^w^ Be ^.^ mowe 
>_< expwessive to OwO them; fow ;;w;; they ^-^ weaw x3 themsewves uWu in x3 the cap of x3 the 
time; there UwU do muster true gait; uWu eat, :3 speak, ÚwÚ and x3 muv, :33 undew x3 the 
ÚwÚ infwuence of x3 the UwU most weceiv'd star; ÚwÚ and ^w^ though x3 the ^.^ deviw lead 
x3 the uWu measuwe, xDD such OwO awe to be fowwowed. >w< Aftew ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and OwO take :3 a ^.^ mowe 
^w^ diwated farewell. 
BERTRAM. xDD And UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :3 so. 
PAROLLES. Wowthy UwU fewwows; ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike to ^-^ pwuv UwU most sinyewy ;;w;; swowd-men. 
Exeunt >_> BEWTWAM ÚwÚ and x3 PAWOWWES 

Entew LAFEU 

UwU WAFEU. UwU [Knyeewing] Pawdon, x3 my uWu wowd, fow ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and fow x3 my UwU tidings. 
>w< KING. I'll ^.^ fee uWu thee to stand :33 up. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU Then hewe's :3 a x3 man >w< stands :3 that >_> has ^.^ bwought :33 his pardon. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you xDD had kneel'd, x3 my uWu wowd, to ^w^ ask ;;w;; me ÚwÚ mewcy; 
xDD And :3 that uWu at x3 my OwO bidding xDD you couwd UwU so stand :33 up. 
>w< KING. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I uWu had; UwU so UwU I xDD had broke >w< thy ^-^ pate, 
xDD And >w< ask'd uWu thee xDD mewcy xDD fow't. 
UwU WAFEU. ^-^ Good ^w^ faith, UwU acwoss! 
But, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, UwU 'tis thus: xDD wiww xDD you be ^w^ cuw'd 
Of x3 youw infiwmity? 
>w< KING. No. 
UwU WAFEU. >_< O, xDD wiww xDD you eat 
No UwU gwapes, x3 my royal ^w^ fox? Yes, >_> but xDD you xDD wiww 
OwO My x3 nyobwe UwU gwapes, >w< an >_> if x3 my royal fox 
Could :3 weach ^w^ them: UwU I uWu have :3 seen :3 a medicinye 
>w< That's able to ;;w;; bweathe >w< wife x3 into :3 a OwO stonye, 
Quicken :3 a :33 wock, ÚwÚ and >_< make xDD you UwU dance uWu canyawy 
With spwitewy fire ÚwÚ and >w< motion; x3 whose :33 simpwe :33 touch 
Is powerful to awaise ^w^ King xDD Pepin, x3 nyay, 
;;w;; To UwU give great Charlemain :3 a OwO pen in's uWu hand 
xDD And >w< wwite to her :3 a wuv-winye. 
>w< KING. >_> What her >_> is :3 this? 
UwU WAFEU. Why, uWu Doctow >_> She! OwO My uWu wowd, there's one awwiv'd, 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww >_> see her. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my :33 faith ÚwÚ and honyouw, 
;;w;; If sewiouswy UwU I OwO may :33 convey x3 my >_< thoughts 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this x3 my >w< wight :3 dewivewance, UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke 
With one :3 that uWu in her ;;w;; sex, her years, >_> pwofession, 
Wisdom, ÚwÚ and >_< constancy, hath ^w^ amaz'd ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe 
Than UwU I dawe uWu bwame x3 my weakness. Will xDD you >_> see hew, 
For :3 that >_> is her demand, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow her ;;w;; businyess? 
:33 That :33 donye, laugh weww uWu at x3 me. 
>w< KING. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good Lafeu, 
Bring uWu in x3 the admiration, :3 that ^.^ we with x3 the 
^-^ May spend UwU ouw wonder :3 too, ow OwO take x3 off ^.^ thinye 
^-^ By UwU wond'wing >w< how xDD thou took'st :3 it. 
UwU WAFEU. Nyay, I'll ;;w;; fit UwU you, 
xDD And nyot be aww day >_> nyeithew. uWu Exit LAFEU 
>w< KING. ^-^ Thus ^.^ he :33 his >_> speciaw >_< nyothing OwO evew prologues. 

^.^ We-entew LAFEU with HEWENyA 

UwU WAFEU. Nyay, come x3 youw uWu ways. 
>w< KING. This ^.^ haste hath x3 wings indeed. 
UwU WAFEU. Nyay, come x3 youw x3 ways; 
This >_> is :33 his :3 Majesty; >_> say x3 youw ^-^ mind to ^.^ him. 
^-^ A traitor xDD you UwU do wook :33 wike; >_> but xDD such traitors 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; Majesty seldom fears. UwU I ^w^ am Cwessid's uWu uncwe, 
:33 That dawe OwO weave >w< two together. >w< Fawe xDD you well. uWu Exit 
>w< KING. >_> Nyow, >w< faiw one, does x3 youw business ;;w;; fowwow us? 
HEWENyA. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
Gerard UwU de :3 Nyawbon UwU was x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
^w^ In >_> what ^.^ he uWu did ^-^ pwofess, weww uWu found. 
>w< KING. UwU I UwU knyew ^.^ him. 
HEWENyA. uWu The rather xDD wiww UwU I ^-^ spawe x3 my pwaises uWu towawds him; 
Knyowing ^.^ him >_> is enyough. On's x3 bed of :33 death 
xDD Many *blushes* weceipts ^.^ he uWu gave OwO me; ^.^ chiefwy one, 
>_< Which, >_< as x3 the deawest x3 issue of :33 his ^-^ pwactice, 
xDD And of :33 his ;;w;; owd UwU expewience x3 th' >w< onwy dawwing, 
>w< He ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me OwO stowe x3 up >_< as :3 a :3 twipwe >_< eye, 
^-^ Safew than >_< minye UwU own >_> two, ^.^ mowe deaw. UwU I uWu have so: 
^.^ And, hearing x3 youw xDD high ;;w;; Majesty >_> is touch'd 
With :3 that malignant cause wherein x3 the honour 
Of x3 my uWu deaw father's ^w^ gift >w< stands uWu chief uWu in x3 powew, 
UwU I come to xDD tendew :33 it, ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu appwiance, 
With aww bound humbwenyess. 
>w< KING. We >_> thank UwU you, uWu maiden; 
OwO But OwO may nyot be UwU so credulous of ÚwÚ cuwe, 
x3 When UwU ouw UwU most :33 weawnyed ^.^ doctows OwO weave us, ÚwÚ and 
uWu The >w< congwegated >_< cowwege uWu have ^-^ concwuded 
:33 That labouring awt ^.^ can >_< nyevew wansom ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
Fwom her xDD inyaidabwe estate-I >_> say ^.^ we ^w^ must nyot 
^w^ So stain UwU ouw ^.^ judgment, ow corrupt UwU ouw hope, 
;;w;; To ^w^ pwostitute UwU ouw ÚwÚ past-cuwe ^w^ mawady 
;;w;; To empiwics; ow to :33 dissevew UwU so 
Our great self ÚwÚ and UwU ouw cwedit to >_> esteem 
^-^ A senseless hewp, when OwO hewp x3 past sense ^.^ we deem. 
HEWENyA. OwO My >_> duty xDD then UwU shaww x3 pay ;;w;; me fow x3 my OwO pains. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyo ^.^ mowe enforce >_< minye ^.^ office on uWu you; 
>_> Humbwy xDD entweating from x3 youw royal >_< thoughts 
^-^ A :3 modest one to UwU beaw ;;w;; me back ;;w;; again. 
>w< KING. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU give uWu thee UwU wess, to be ^w^ caww'd gwatefuw. 
^.^ Thou ^-^ thought'st to OwO hewp OwO me; ÚwÚ and xDD such thanks UwU I UwU give 
;;w;; As one nyeaw :33 death to UwU those :3 that ÚwÚ wish ^.^ him wive. 
OwO But >_> what uWu at full UwU I knyow, xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st nyo ^w^ pawt; 
UwU I x3 knyowing aww x3 my x3 pewiw, xDD thou nyo art. 
HEWENyA. >_> What UwU I ^.^ can UwU do ^.^ can UwU do nyo ÚwÚ huwt to ;;w;; twy, 
Since xDD you uWu set x3 up x3 youw xDD west uWu 'gainst UwU wemedy. 
>w< He :3 that of ÚwÚ gweatest wowks >_> is finisher 
x3 Oft does them ^.^ by x3 the weakest minister. 
^w^ So >w< howy ^-^ wwit uWu in babes hath ^w^ judgment OwO shown, 
x3 When judges uWu have :33 been UwU babes. UwU Gweat xDD fwoods uWu have fwown 
Fwom :33 simpwe uWu souwces, ÚwÚ and great seas uWu have dwied 
x3 When miracles uWu have ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest :33 been uWu denyied. 
x3 Oft expectation ÚwÚ faiws, ÚwÚ and UwU most ;;w;; oft there 
Whewe UwU most >w< it promises; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; oft >w< it x3 hits 
Whewe UwU hope >_> is cowdest, ÚwÚ and despair UwU most :33 fits. 
>w< KING. UwU I ^w^ must nyot hear thee. >w< Fawe uWu thee weww, uWu kind >_> maid; 
x3 Thy pains, nyot >w< us'd, ^w^ must ^.^ by >w< thysewf be paid; 
:3 Pwoffews nyot >_> took reap thanks fow uWu theiw ÚwÚ wewawd. 
HEWENyA. Inspired merit UwU so ^.^ by UwU bweath >_> is uWu baww'd. 
^.^ It >_> is nyot UwU so with xDD Him :3 that aww ^.^ things ;;w;; knyows, 
;;w;; As UwU 'tis with >_> us :3 that square UwU ouw guess ^.^ by >_< shows; 
OwO But UwU most >w< it >_> is ^w^ pwesumption uWu in >_> us when 
uWu The OwO hewp of heaven ^.^ we ;;w;; count x3 the ;;w;; act of ^.^ men. 
>_< Deaw ^w^ siw, to x3 my endeavouws UwU give :3 consent; 
Of ^.^ heaven, nyot uWu me, >_< make >w< an ^.^ expewiment. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot >w< an ^w^ impostow, :3 that :3 pwocwaim 
xDD Mysewf OwO against x3 the ^w^ wevew of >_< minye aim; 
OwO But ^.^ knyow UwU I >_< think, ÚwÚ and think UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU most x3 suwe, 
OwO My awt >_> is nyot x3 past powew nor xDD you x3 past x3 cuwe. 
>w< KING. Awt xDD thou UwU so UwU confident? OwO Within >_> what xDD space 
:33 Hop'st xDD thou x3 my cuwe? 
HEWENyA. uWu The ÚwÚ gweatest Gwace uWu wending grace. 
Ere twice x3 the :3 howses of x3 the sun UwU shaww ;;w;; bwing 
^-^ Theiw fiery towchew :33 his ;;w;; diuwnyaw *hugs tightly* wing, 
Ere twice uWu in murk ÚwÚ and ^-^ occidentaw :3 damp 
xDD Moist Hespewus hath :3 quench'd :33 his UwU sweepy ^.^ wamp, 
:33 Ow fouw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty times x3 the uWu piwot's gwass 
>_< Hath told x3 the thievish ^w^ minyutes >w< how ;;w;; they pass, 
>_> What >_> is infirm from x3 youw >_> sound parts UwU shaww fly, 
:3 Heawth UwU shaww ^w^ wive >w< fwee, ÚwÚ and sicknyess freely die. 
>w< KING. >_> Upon >w< thy cewtainty ÚwÚ and :3 confidence 
>_> What ^w^ daw'st xDD thou ;;w;; ventuwe? 
HEWENyA. Tax of ;;w;; impudence, 
^-^ A uWu stwumpet's ^w^ bowdnyess, :3 a divulged UwU shame, 
uWu Twaduc'd ^.^ by uWu odious bawwads; x3 my maiden's xDD nyame 
Sear'd othewwise; nye xDD wowse of OwO wowst-extended 
With vilest towtuwe wet x3 my >w< wife be ended. 
>w< KING. Methinks uWu in uWu thee x3 some blessed ^w^ spiwit xDD doth speak 
ÚwÚ His powerful >_> sound within >w< an UwU owgan >_> weak; 
xDD And >_> what UwU impossibiwity ^.^ wouwd slay 
^w^ In ^w^ common sense, sense >w< saves anyothew >_> way. 
x3 Thy >w< wife >_> is deaw; fow aww :3 that >w< wife ^.^ can wate 
Wowth xDD nyame of >w< wife uWu in uWu thee hath uWu estimate: 
^w^ Youth, >w< beauty, wisdom, couwage, aww 
:33 That happinyess ÚwÚ and prime ^.^ can ^w^ happy :33 caww. 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ this to >_< hazawd >_< nyeeds ^w^ must :33 intimate 
Skiww :3 infinyite ow monstwous despewate. 
ÚwÚ Sweet uWu pwactisew, >w< thy ;;w;; physic UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; twy, 
:33 That ministers ^.^ thinye UwU own :33 death >_> if UwU I die. 
HEWENyA. ;;w;; If UwU I bweak time, ow ^-^ fwinch uWu in uWu pwopewty 
Of >_> what UwU I ;;w;; spoke, uWu unpitied wet ;;w;; me :3 die; 
xDD And weww desewv'd. ÚwÚ Nyot hewping, ^w^ death's x3 my >w< fee; 
But, >_> if UwU I hewp, >_> what UwU do xDD you promise me? 
>w< KING. ^-^ Make >w< thy >_> demand. 
HEWENyA. OwO But xDD wiww xDD you >_< make >w< it ^w^ even? 
>w< KING. Ay, ^.^ by x3 my sceptre ÚwÚ and x3 my hopes of UwU heaven. 
HEWENyA. UwU Then shalt xDD thou UwU give ;;w;; me with >w< thy >_> kingwy uWu hand 
>_> What :33 husband uWu in >w< thy powew UwU I xDD wiww >_> command. 
x3 Exempted be from ;;w;; me x3 the uWu awwogance 
;;w;; To choose from fowth x3 the royal :3 bwood of >_< Fwance, 
OwO My wow ÚwÚ and humble xDD nyame to pwopagate 
With xDD any branch ow x3 image of >w< thy ^w^ state; 
OwO But xDD such :3 a one, >w< thy ^.^ vassaw, ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^.^ knyow 
Is fwee fow ;;w;; me to >_< ask, uWu thee to bestow. 
>w< KING. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 my xDD hand; x3 the premises UwU obsewv'd, 
x3 Thy xDD wiww ^.^ by x3 my :3 pewfowmance UwU shaww be serv'd. 
^w^ So >_< make x3 the UwU choice of >w< thy UwU own time, fow I, 
x3 Thy :3 wesowv'd *giggles shyly* patient, on uWu thee still rely. 
uWu Mowe >_> shouwd UwU I ;;w;; question ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe UwU I ;;w;; must, 
;;w;; Though ^.^ mowe to ^.^ knyow couwd nyot be ^.^ mowe to ^w^ twust, 
Fwom >_> whence xDD thou ÚwÚ cam'st, >w< how tended :3 on. OwO But xDD west 
ÚwÚ Unquestion'd wewcome ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ undoubted bwest. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 some OwO hewp UwU hewe, ho! ;;w;; If xDD thou proceed 
;;w;; As xDD high >_< as word, x3 my ^.^ deed UwU shaww >_< match >w< thy UwU deed. 
[Flourish. Exeunt] 




^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
^.^ Wousiwwon. uWu The >_> COUNT'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^-^ COUNTESS ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

COUNTESS. :3 Come ;;w;; on, siw; UwU I UwU shaww nyow put xDD you to x3 the height of x3 youw 
UwU bweeding. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I xDD wiww x3 show mysewf ;;w;; highwy ÚwÚ fed ÚwÚ and ^-^ wowwy OwO taught. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my 
business >_> is >_> but to x3 the >_< couwt. 
COUNTESS. ;;w;; To x3 the court! Why, >_> what :33 pwace >_< make xDD you x3 speciaw, when xDD you 
put x3 off :3 that with xDD such >_> contempt? OwO But to x3 the court! 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU madam, >_> if ^w^ God uWu have OwO went :3 a x3 man xDD any :3 mannyews, ^.^ he OwO may 
easily put >w< it x3 off uWu at >_< couwt. >w< He :3 that ;;w;; cannyot >_< make :3 a ^-^ weg, put :3 off's 
xDD cap, :3 kiss :33 his uWu hand, ÚwÚ and >_> say uWu nyothing, >_> has :3 nyeithew ^-^ weg, ^.^ hands, x3 wip, 
nor ^.^ cap; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ indeed xDD such :3 a fewwow, to >_> say precisely, :3 wewe nyot fow 
x3 the >_> couwt; >_> but fow uWu me, UwU I uWu have >w< an answew xDD wiww serve aww ^.^ men. 
COUNTESS. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ that's :3 a >_> bountifuw answew :3 that ^w^ fits aww :3 questions. 
uWu CWOWN. ^.^ It >_> is ^.^ wike :3 a bawbew's xDD chaiw, :3 that ^w^ fits aww buttocks-the uWu pin 
>_< buttock, x3 the quatch >_< buttock, x3 the brawn >_< buttock, ow xDD any OwO buttock. 
COUNTESS. Will x3 youw answew serve ;;w;; fit to aww x3 questions? 
uWu CWOWN. ;;w;; As ;;w;; fit >_< as ;;w;; ten :33 gwoats >_> is fow x3 the uWu hand of >w< an attownyey, >_< as x3 youw 
OwO Fwench >_< cwown fow x3 youw xDD taffety punk, >_< as ^.^ Tib's >_< wush fow >w< Tom's 
>_> fowefingew, >_< as :3 a UwU pancake fow xDD Shwuv ^w^ Tuesday, :3 a morris fow >w< Mayday, 
>_< as x3 the nail to :33 his :3 howe, x3 the cuckold to :33 his >_< hown, >_< as :3 a scolding 
^-^ quean to :3 a :3 wwangwing ^-^ knyave, >_< as x3 the nun's >_< wip to x3 the >_< fwiaw's 
x3 mouth; x3 nyay, >_< as x3 the :3 pudding to :33 his :33 skin. 
COUNTESS. :3 Have UwU you, I, say, >w< an answew of xDD such ^.^ fitnyess fow aww 
x3 questions? 
uWu CWOWN. Fwom bewow x3 youw uWu duke to >_< benyeath x3 youw constabwe, >w< it xDD wiww ;;w;; fit 
xDD any x3 question. 
COUNTESS. ^.^ It ^w^ must be >w< an answew of UwU most monstwous ;;w;; size :3 that ^w^ must ;;w;; fit 
aww ÚwÚ demands. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO But :3 a xDD twifwe nyeithew, uWu in ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, >_> if x3 the :33 weawnyed >_> shouwd 
speak uWu twuth of :3 it. :3 Hewe >w< it ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and aww :3 that ^-^ bewongs to't. ;;w;; Ask ;;w;; me 
>_> if UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ;;w;; couwtiew: >w< it UwU shaww UwU do xDD you nyo x3 hawm to UwU weawn. 
COUNTESS. ;;w;; To be xDD young OwO again, >_> if ^.^ we couwd, UwU I xDD wiww be :3 a >w< foow uWu in 
^.^ question, ^w^ hoping to be x3 the wiser ^.^ by x3 youw answer. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
OwO awe xDD you :3 a >_< couwtiew? 
uWu CWOWN. x3 O Wowd, >_> siw!-Thewe's :3 a :33 simpwe ^.^ putting off. :33 Mowe, >_> mowe, :3 a 
:3 hundwed of OwO them. 
COUNTESS. UwU Siw, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a poor :33 fwiend of >_< youws, :3 that loves OwO you. 
uWu CWOWN. x3 O Wowd, ^.^ siw!-Thick, thick; ^-^ spawe nyot x3 me. 
COUNTESS. UwU I >_< think, ^w^ siw, xDD you ^.^ can eat >_< nyonye of ÚwÚ this homewy ^w^ meat. 
uWu CWOWN. x3 O Wowd, sir!-Nay, put ;;w;; me >_> to't, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
COUNTESS. >_> You :3 wewe :3 watewy :3 whipp'd, ^w^ siw, >_< as UwU I UwU think. 
uWu CWOWN. x3 O Wowd, ^w^ siw!-Spawe nyot x3 me. 
COUNTESS. Do xDD you cwy ^w^ 'O Wowd, siw!' uWu at x3 youw UwU whipping, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; 'spawe 
nyot UwU me'? :33 Indeed x3 youw ^w^ 'O Wowd, siw!' >_> is xDD vewy sequent to x3 youw 
whipping. >_> You ^.^ wouwd answew xDD vewy weww to :3 a UwU whipping, >_> if xDD you :3 wewe 
>_> but bound to't. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ^w^ nye'ew xDD had xDD wowse luck uWu in x3 my >w< wife uWu in x3 my ^w^ 'O Wowd, siw!' UwU I >_> see 
^w^ thing's OwO may serve long, >_> but nyot serve ever. 
COUNTESS. UwU I :33 pway x3 the x3 nyobwe :3 housewife with x3 the time, 
;;w;; To entertain >w< it UwU so ÚwÚ mewwiwy with :3 a xDD foow. 
uWu CWOWN. x3 O Wowd, siw!-Why, thewe't sewves weww ;;w;; again. 
COUNTESS. ^-^ An ^w^ end, sir! ;;w;; To x3 youw business: UwU give :33 Hewen uWu this, 
xDD And urge her to :3 a xDD pwesent answew back; 
>_< Commend ;;w;; me to x3 my >_< kinsmen ÚwÚ and x3 my OwO son. This >_> is nyot :33 much. 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Nyot much ÚwÚ commendation to them? 
COUNTESS. ÚwÚ Nyot much >w< empwoyment fow OwO you. >_> You understand me? 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Most ÚwÚ fwuitfuwwy; UwU I ^w^ am there >w< befowe x3 my wegs. 
COUNTESS. Haste xDD you ;;w;; again. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
Paris. uWu The KING'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew BERTRAM, OwO WAFEU, ÚwÚ and x3 PAWOWWES 

UwU WAFEU. ^-^ They >_> say miracles OwO awe xDD past; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we uWu have UwU ouw philosophical 
persons to >_< make modern ÚwÚ and ^.^ famiwiaw ^.^ things :33 supewnyatuwaw ÚwÚ and 
>w< causewess. OwO Hence >_> is >w< it :3 that ^.^ we >_< make twifwes of terrors, 
ÚwÚ ensconcing ouwsewves x3 into ÚwÚ seeming >_< knyowwedge when ^.^ we >_> shouwd :3 submit 
ouwsewves to >w< an unknown ;;w;; feaw. 
PAROLLES. Why, UwU 'tis x3 the ^.^ wawest :33 awgument of wonder :3 that hath UwU shot 
x3 out uWu in UwU ouw UwU wattew times. 
BERTRAM. xDD And UwU so UwU 'tis. 
UwU WAFEU. ;;w;; To be ÚwÚ wewinquish'd of x3 the artists- 
PAROLLES. ^w^ So UwU I :3 say-both of ÚwÚ Gawen ÚwÚ and Paracelsus. 
UwU WAFEU. Of aww x3 the :33 weawnyed ÚwÚ and OwO authentic x3 fewwows- 
PAROLLES. Right; UwU so UwU I :3 say. 
UwU WAFEU. :33 That uWu gave ^.^ him x3 out UwU incuwabwe- 
PAROLLES. Why, there ÚwÚ 'tis; UwU so >_> say UwU I UwU too. 
UwU WAFEU. ÚwÚ Nyot to be >_> hewp'd- 
PAROLLES. Right; >_< as >w< 'twewe :3 a x3 man x3 assuw'd of :3 a- 
UwU WAFEU. Uncertain >w< wife ÚwÚ and >_< suwe death. 
PAROLLES. Just; xDD you >_> say well; UwU so ^.^ wouwd UwU I uWu have UwU said. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I OwO may :33 twuwy >_> say >w< it >_> is :3 a ^w^ nyuvwty to x3 the wowwd. 
PAROLLES. ^.^ It >_> is indeed. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww uWu have >w< it uWu in :33 showing, xDD you UwU shaww 
^w^ wead >w< it uWu in what-do-ye-call't hewe. 
UwU WAFEU. [Weading x3 the >w< bawwad title] >_> 'A ^.^ Showing of :3 a Heavenly 
:3 Effect uWu in >w< an Eawthwy Actow.' 
PAROLLES. >w< That's uWu it; UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have uWu said x3 the xDD vewy :33 same. 
UwU WAFEU. Why, x3 youw dowphin >_> is nyot lustier. 'Fore uWu me, UwU I speak uWu in 
>w< wespect- 
PAROLLES. Nyay, UwU 'tis >_> stwange, UwU 'tis xDD vewy :3 stwange; :3 that >_> is x3 the bwief 
ÚwÚ and x3 the tedious of uWu it; ÚwÚ and uWu he's of :3 a UwU most facinerious ^w^ spiwit :3 that 
xDD wiww nyot :3 acknyowwedge >w< it to be uWu the- 
UwU WAFEU. Very uWu hand of UwU heaven. 
PAROLLES. Ay; UwU so UwU I :3 say. 
UwU WAFEU. ^w^ In :3 a UwU most weak- 
PAROLLES. xDD And >_< debiwe minister, great x3 powew, great ^w^ twanscendence; 
which should, :33 indeed, UwU give >_> us :3 a further use to be UwU made than awonye 
x3 the ÚwÚ wecov'wy of x3 the OwO King, >_< as to ^-^ be- 
UwU WAFEU. >w< Genyewawwy UwU thankfuw. 

Entew ;;w;; KING, x3 HEWENyA, ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

PAROLLES. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have uWu said uWu it; xDD you >_> say well. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the ;;w;; King. 
UwU WAFEU. Lustig, >_< as x3 the >w< Dutchman says. I'll ^.^ wike :3 a >_< maid x3 the better, 
whiwst UwU I uWu have :3 a ^.^ tooth uWu in x3 my >_> head. Why, uWu he's able to lead her :3 a 
coranto. 
PAROLLES. xDD Mowt OwO du ;;w;; vinyaigwe! Is nyot ÚwÚ this Hewen? 
UwU WAFEU. 'Fore :33 God, UwU I think :3 so. 
>w< KING. ^w^ Go, caww >w< befowe ;;w;; me aww x3 the wowds uWu in >_< couwt. 
uWu Exit >w< an uWu ATTENDANT 
>_> Sit, x3 my pwesewvew, ^.^ by >w< thy ÚwÚ patient's x3 side; 
xDD And with ÚwÚ this OwO heawthfuw uWu hand, x3 whose banyish'd sense 
^.^ Thou >_> has repeal'd, :3 a second time receive 
uWu The confirmation of x3 my pwomis'd :3 gift, 
>_< Which >_> but ^.^ attends >w< thy naming. 

Entew >w< thwee ow fouw ;;w;; WOWDS 

Faiw ;;w;; maid, >_> send fowth ^.^ thinye :33 eye. This youthfuw parcel 
Of x3 nyobwe bachelors stand uWu at x3 my x3 bestowing, 
^w^ O'ew ÚwÚ whom both suvweign powew ÚwÚ and father's uWu voice 
UwU I uWu have to ÚwÚ use. x3 Thy xDD fwank UwU ewection xDD make; 
^.^ Thou x3 hast powew to UwU choose, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they >_< nyonye to fowsake. 
HEWENyA. ;;w;; To >_< each of xDD you one >w< faiw ÚwÚ and virtuous mistwess 
Fall, when wuv ÚwÚ pwease. OwO Mawwy, to >_< each >_> but one! 
UwU WAFEU. ;;w;; I'd UwU give ^w^ bay Cuwtaw ÚwÚ and :33 his xDD fuwnyituwe 
OwO My xDD mouth nyo ^.^ mowe :3 wewe xDD bwoken than these boys', 
xDD And ^-^ wwit >_< as xDD wittwe :3 beawd. 
>w< KING. Peruse them well. 
ÚwÚ Nyot one of UwU those >_> but xDD had :3 a x3 nyobwe :33 fathew. 
HEWENyA. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, 
uWu Heaven hath ^w^ thwough ;;w;; me :33 westow'd x3 the ^w^ King to ^-^ heawth. 
uWu AWW. We understand :33 it, ÚwÚ and >_> thank heaven fow OwO you. 
HEWENyA. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :33 simpwe ;;w;; maid, ÚwÚ and thewein wealthiest 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ pwotest UwU I simply ^w^ am :3 a ^-^ maid. 
ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, UwU I uWu have donye >_< awweady. 
uWu The blushes uWu in x3 my >_> cheeks OwO thus whisper ;;w;; me: 
ÚwÚ 'We bwush :3 that xDD thou shouwdst choose; but, be refused, 
Let x3 the ^-^ white :33 death sit on >w< thy >_< cheek fow ever, 
^-^ We'ww ^w^ nye'ew come there ^-^ again.' 
>w< KING. ^-^ Make UwU choice ÚwÚ and OwO see: 
Who shuns >w< thy wuv shuns aww :33 his wuv uWu in x3 me. 
HEWENyA. >_> Nyow, OwO Dian, from >w< thy altar UwU do UwU I fly, 
xDD And to ÚwÚ impewiaw Wuv, :3 that god UwU most UwU high, 
Do x3 my :3 sighs :3 stweam. UwU Siw, xDD wiww xDD you hear x3 my suit? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. xDD And gwant :3 it. 
HEWENyA. >_< Thanks, siw; aww x3 the xDD west >_> is :33 mute. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I xDD had rather be uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU choice than ^-^ thwow ames-ace fow x3 my 
life. 
HEWENyA. uWu The honyouw, ^w^ siw, :3 that flames uWu in x3 youw >w< faiw ^w^ eyes, 
^.^ Befowe UwU I :3 speak, ^w^ too :33 thweat'nyingwy >_> wepwies. 
Wuv >_< make x3 youw fowtunyes ÚwÚ twenty times :33 abuv 
:3 Hew :3 that UwU so wishes, ÚwÚ and her humble love! 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. No better, >_> if xDD you ÚwÚ pwease. 
HEWENyA. OwO My ÚwÚ wish weceive, 
>_< Which great Wuv x3 gwant; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
UwU WAFEU. Do aww ;;w;; they UwU deny OwO hew? ^-^ An ;;w;; they :3 wewe xDD sons of >_< minye ;;w;; I'd uWu have 
them ;;w;; whipt; ow UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> send them to x3 th' ^w^ Tuwk to >_< make xDD eunyuchs uWu of. 
HEWENyA. ^w^ Be nyot :33 afwaid :3 that UwU I x3 youw uWu hand >_> shouwd take; 
I'll >_< nyevew UwU do xDD you wrong fow x3 youw UwU own sake. 
Blessing ;;w;; upon x3 youw ^.^ vows; ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 youw x3 bed 
UwU Find fairer fowtunye, >_> if xDD you OwO evew ^-^ wed! 
UwU WAFEU. ;;w;; These >_< boys OwO awe >_< boys of :33 ice; they'ww >_< nyonye uWu have her. 
Sure, ;;w;; they OwO awe >_< bastawds to x3 the English; x3 the OwO Fwench ^w^ nye'ew ^w^ got ^.^ 'em. 
HEWENyA. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too >_> young, ^w^ too UwU happy, ÚwÚ and ^w^ too UwU good, 
;;w;; To >_< make >_> youwsewf :3 a >_< son x3 out of x3 my blood. 
;;w;; FOUWTH WOWD. Faiw one, UwU I think nyot :3 so. 
UwU WAFEU. >_> Thewe's one gwape :33 yet; UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe >w< thy >w< fathew UwU dwunk wine-but 
>_> if xDD thou ÚwÚ be'st nyot >w< an ass, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :33 youth of fourteen; UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ knyown 
uWu thee >_< awweady. 
HEWENyA. :33 [To BERTRAM] UwU I dawe nyot >_> say UwU I OwO take uWu you; >_> but UwU I UwU give 
x3 Me ÚwÚ and x3 my sewvice, OwO evew whiwst UwU I x3 wive, 
^.^ Into x3 youw guiding UwU powew. This >_> is x3 the man. 
>w< KING. Why, >w< then, xDD young ^w^ Bewtwam, OwO take >w< hew; ^w^ she's >w< thy x3 wife. 
BERTRAM. OwO My :3 wife, x3 my wiege! UwU I UwU shaww :33 beseech x3 youw >w< Highnyess, 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a business UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to use 
uWu The OwO hewp of >_< minye UwU own :3 eyes. 
>w< KING. Knyow'st xDD thou >_> nyot, ^w^ Bewtwam, 
>_> What ^.^ she >_> has donye fow me? 
BERTRAM. Yes, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; 
OwO But >_< nyevew UwU hope to ^.^ knyow >w< why UwU I >_> shouwd marry her. 
>w< KING. ^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st ^.^ she >_> has >_> wais'd ;;w;; me from x3 my >_> sickwy :3 bed. 
BERTRAM. OwO But xDD fowwows :33 it, x3 my uWu wowd, to ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me down 
:3 Must answew fow x3 youw x3 waising? UwU I ^.^ knyow her well: 
:33 She xDD had her xDD bweeding uWu at x3 my father's chawge. 
^-^ A poor physician's daughter x3 my wife! :3 Disdain 
Rather corrupt ;;w;; me evew! 
>w< KING. 'Tis >w< onwy ;;w;; titwe xDD thou >_> disdain'st uWu in hew, x3 the which 
UwU I ^.^ can buiwd :33 up. Stwange >_> is >w< it :3 that UwU ouw bwoods, 
Of :33 cowouw, ÚwÚ weight, ÚwÚ and ^.^ heat, :3 pouw'd aww together, 
Wouwd quite confound >w< distinction, yet stand x3 off 
^w^ In ÚwÚ diffewences UwU so ÚwÚ mighty. ;;w;; If ^.^ she be 
All :3 that >_> is virtuous-save >_> what xDD thou diswik'st, 
^-^ A poor physician's ;;w;; daughtew-thou ;;w;; diswik'st 
Of viwtue fow x3 the UwU nyame; >_> but UwU do nyot :3 so. 
Fwom ;;w;; wowest :33 pwace when virtuous ^.^ things xDD pwoceed, 
uWu The :33 pwace >_> is dignified ^.^ by x3 the doer's ^.^ deed; 
Whewe great ^w^ additions ÚwÚ sweww's, ÚwÚ and viwtue nyonye, 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a dropsied honyouw. ^-^ Good awonye 
Is ÚwÚ good ^-^ without :3 a nyame. Vileness >_> is so: 
uWu The uWu pwopewty ^.^ by >_> what >w< it >_> is >_> shouwd x3 go, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ by x3 the uWu titwe. :33 She >_> is >_> young, >_< wise, fair; 
^w^ In these to ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^w^ she's x3 immediate heir; 
xDD And these breed honyouw. :33 That >_> is x3 honyouw's ^w^ scown 
>_< Which >w< chawwenges itsewf >_< as x3 honyouw's bown 
xDD And >_> is nyot ^.^ wike x3 the ^w^ siwe. UwU Honyouws x3 thwive 
x3 When rather from UwU ouw acts ^.^ we them >w< dewive 
Than UwU ouw UwU fowe-goews. uWu The mere word's :3 a :33 swave, 
>w< Debauch'd on every ;;w;; tomb, on every :3 gwave 
^-^ A lying ^-^ twophy; ÚwÚ and >_< as ;;w;; oft >_> is UwU dumb 
Whewe x3 dust ÚwÚ and damn'd oblivion >_> is x3 the tomb 
Of :3 honyouw'd bones indeed. >_> What >_> shouwd be UwU said? 
;;w;; If xDD thou ;;w;; canst ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this creature >_< as :3 a ;;w;; maid, 
UwU I ^.^ can >w< cweate x3 the rest. x3 Viwtue ÚwÚ and ^.^ she 
Is her UwU own dower; honour ÚwÚ and weawth from x3 me. 
BERTRAM. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot wuv hew, nor xDD wiww strive to UwU do :3 't. 
>w< KING. ^.^ Thou wrong'st ;;w;; thysewf, >_> if xDD thou shouwdst strive to UwU choose. 
HEWENyA. :33 That xDD you OwO awe weww restor'd, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< I'm :3 gwad. 
Let x3 the xDD west ÚwÚ go. 
>w< KING. OwO My x3 honyouw's uWu at x3 the xDD stake; which to defeat, 
UwU I ^w^ must produce x3 my UwU powew. Here, OwO take her uWu hand, 
Pwoud ÚwÚ scownfuw ^-^ boy, >_< unwowthy ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good :3 gift, 
:33 That dost uWu in ^-^ viwe UwU mispwision shackle x3 up 
OwO My wuv ÚwÚ and her desewt; :3 that ;;w;; canst nyot dweam 
We, ^-^ poising >_> us uWu in her ÚwÚ defective ^w^ scawe, 
Shall >w< weigh uWu thee to x3 the >_> beam; :3 that wiwt nyot ^.^ knyow 
^.^ It >_> is uWu in >_> us to plant ^.^ thinye honour :3 whewe 
We uWu pwease to uWu have >w< it ^w^ gwow. uWu Check >w< thy >_> contempt; 
;;w;; Obey UwU ouw :33 wiww, which twavaiws uWu in >w< thy good; 
:3 Bewieve nyot >w< thy OwO disdain, >_> but presently 
Do ^.^ thinye UwU own fowtunyes :3 that obedient >w< wight 
>_< Which both >w< thy >_> duty >_> owes ÚwÚ and UwU ouw powew ^.^ cwaims; 
:33 Ow UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ thwow uWu thee from x3 my :3 cawe fow OwO evew 
^.^ Into x3 the staggews ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD cawewess ^.^ wapse 
Of :33 youth ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ ignyowance; both x3 my xDD wevenge ÚwÚ and ^-^ hate 
OwO Woosing ;;w;; upon uWu thee uWu in x3 the xDD nyame of justice, 
Without aww terms of >_> pity. uWu Speak; ^.^ thinye answer. 
BERTRAM. Pawdon, x3 my >_> gwacious wowd; fow UwU I :3 submit 
OwO My ^w^ fancy to x3 youw :3 eyes. x3 When UwU I OwO considew 
>_> What great :3 cweation ÚwÚ and >_> what xDD dowe of honour 
Fwies :3 whewe xDD you bid :33 it, UwU I find :3 that ^.^ she which wate 
Was uWu in x3 my >w< nyobwew >_< thoughts UwU most UwU base >_> is nyow 
uWu The pwaised of x3 the uWu King; who, UwU so ennobled, 
Is >_< as >w< 'twewe bown :3 so. 
>w< KING. ^.^ Take her ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand, 
xDD And tell her ^.^ she >_> is thine; to ÚwÚ whom UwU I promise 
^-^ A ;;w;; countewpoise, >_> if nyot to >w< thy estate 
^-^ A ^w^ bawance ^.^ mowe :33 wepwete. 
BERTRAM. UwU I OwO take her >w< hand. 
>w< KING. ^-^ Good :3 fowtunye ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ favouw of x3 the ^w^ King 
Smile ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this contwact; x3 whose ceremony 
Shall xDD seem expedient on x3 the uWu nyow-bown ^-^ bwief, 
xDD And be pewfowm'd to-night. uWu The solemn >_> feast 
Shall ^.^ mowe >_< attend ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD coming space, 
UwU Expecting absent fwiends. ;;w;; As xDD thou >_> wov'st hew, 
x3 Thy love's to ;;w;; me :33 wewigious; else, does eww. 
Exeunt aww >_> but LAFEU ÚwÚ and x3 PAWOWWES who xDD stay behind, 
ÚwÚ commenting of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wedding 
UwU WAFEU. Do xDD you heaw, monsieuw? ^-^ A ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
PAROLLES. uWu Youw x3 pweasuwe, UwU siw? 
UwU WAFEU. uWu Youw ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and >_< mastew uWu did weww to >_< make :33 his >w< wecantation. 
PAROLLES. Recantation! OwO My :3 Wowd! x3 my x3 mastew! 
UwU WAFEU. Ay; >_> is >w< it nyot :3 a language UwU I x3 speak? 
PAROLLES. ^-^ A UwU most UwU hawsh one, ÚwÚ and nyot to be ^-^ undewstood ^-^ without bwoody 
UwU succeeding. OwO My x3 mastew! 
UwU WAFEU. ^w^ Awe xDD you >_< companyion to x3 the xDD Count Wousiwwon? 
PAROLLES. ;;w;; To xDD any ;;w;; count; to aww counts; to >_> what >_> is man. 
UwU WAFEU. ;;w;; To >_> what >_> is uWu count's ^w^ man: uWu count's >_< mastew >_> is of anyothew UwU stywe. 
PAROLLES. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too :3 owd, siw; wet >w< it satisfy UwU you, xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too 
^-^ owd. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I ^w^ must tell ÚwÚ thee, sirrah, UwU I >w< wwite xDD man; to which ;;w;; titwe age 
;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; bwing thee. 
PAROLLES. >_> What UwU I dawe ^w^ too weww UwU do, UwU I dawe nyot xDD do. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I uWu did think ÚwÚ thee, fow >w< two ÚwÚ owdinyawies, to be :3 a OwO pwetty uWu wise 
fellow; xDD thou :33 didst >_< make ;;w;; towewabwe uWu vent of >w< thy twavew; >w< it ^w^ might 
:3 pass. ÚwÚ Yet x3 the ^.^ scawfs ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ bannyewets about uWu thee uWu did manifoldly 
uWu dissuade ;;w;; me from believing uWu thee :3 a vessel of ^w^ too great :3 a buwden. UwU I 
uWu have nyow >_> found ÚwÚ thee; when UwU I wose uWu thee again UwU I :3 cawe x3 nyot; yet awt 
xDD thou ÚwÚ good fow >_< nyothing >_> but :3 taking xDD up; ÚwÚ and :3 that >w< thou'wt scawce 
uWu wowth. 
PAROLLES. UwU Hadst xDD thou nyot x3 the OwO pwiviwege of xDD antiquity ;;w;; upon ;;w;; thee- 
UwU WAFEU. Do nyot ^.^ pwunge >w< thysewf ^w^ too uWu faw uWu in anger, xDD west xDD thou x3 hasten >w< thy 
xDD twiaw; which if-Wowd uWu have xDD mewcy on uWu thee fow :3 a ^-^ hen! So, x3 my ÚwÚ good 
window of >_< wattice, ^-^ fawe uWu thee well; >w< thy >_< casement UwU I >_< nyeed nyot open, 
fow UwU I wook ^w^ thwough thee. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. 
PAROLLES. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me UwU most egwegious indignity. 
UwU WAFEU. Ay, with aww x3 my heawt; ÚwÚ and xDD thou awt ÚwÚ wowthy of :3 it. 
PAROLLES. UwU I uWu have >_> nyot, x3 my uWu wowd, OwO desewv'd :3 it. 
UwU WAFEU. Yes, ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, OwO ev'wy UwU dwam of uWu it; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww nyot uWu bate uWu thee 
:3 a scruple. 
PAROLLES. xDD Weww, UwU I UwU shaww be wiser. 
UwU WAFEU. Ev'n >_< as >w< soon >_< as xDD thou x3 canst, fow xDD thou x3 hast to puww uWu at :3 a ;;w;; smack 
^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ contwawy. ;;w;; If OwO evew xDD thou ÚwÚ be'st bound uWu in >w< thy scarf ÚwÚ and 
UwU beaten, xDD thou shalt find >_> what >w< it >_> is to be OwO pwoud of >w< thy bondage. UwU I 
uWu have :3 a ^.^ desiwe to howd x3 my >_< acquaintance with ÚwÚ thee, ow rather x3 my 
^-^ knyowwedge, :3 that UwU I OwO may >_> say uWu in x3 the :33 defauwt ^-^ 'He >_> is :3 a x3 man UwU I know.' 
PAROLLES. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me UwU most xDD insuppowtabwe ;;w;; vexation. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it :3 wewe heww ^w^ pains fow >w< thy ^w^ sake, ÚwÚ and x3 my poor xDD doing 
etewnyaw; fow xDD doing UwU I ^w^ am past, >_< as UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ by ÚwÚ thee, uWu in >_> what >_> motion 
age xDD wiww UwU give ;;w;; me >_< weave. uWu Exit 
PAROLLES. xDD Weww, xDD thou x3 hast :3 a >_< son UwU shaww OwO take ÚwÚ this xDD disgwace x3 off ;;w;; me: 
scuwvy, :3 owd, filthy, ^.^ scuwvy ^.^ wowd! xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ must be UwU patient; there 
>_> is nyo fettering of authowity. I'll xDD beat :3 him, ^.^ by x3 my :3 wife, >_> if UwU I ^.^ can 
:3 meet ^.^ him with xDD any :3 convenyience, >w< an ^.^ he :3 wewe :3 doubwe ÚwÚ and :3 doubwe :3 a 
OwO wowd. I'll uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe pity of :33 his age than UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have of- 
I'll xDD beat :3 him, ÚwÚ and >_> if UwU I couwd >_> but :3 meet ^.^ him ;;w;; again. 

^.^ We-entew LAFEU 

UwU WAFEU. Siwwah, x3 youw ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and xDD mastew's ^w^ mawwied; there's nyews fow 
uWu you; xDD you uWu have :3 a x3 nyew ^w^ mistwess. 
PAROLLES. UwU I UwU most unfeignedly :33 beseech x3 youw OwO wowdship to >_< make x3 some 
wesewvation of x3 youw x3 wwongs. >w< He >_> is x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd: ÚwÚ whom UwU I serve 
:33 abuv >_> is x3 my master. 
UwU WAFEU. uWu Who? ;;w;; God? 
PAROLLES. Ay, sir. 
UwU WAFEU. uWu The ^.^ deviw >w< it >_> is ^w^ that's >w< thy master. Why dost xDD thou x3 gawtew x3 up 
>w< thy :3 awms ^.^ o' ÚwÚ this fashion? uWu Dost >_< make >_> hose of >w< thy *cuddles you* sweeves? Do othew 
:3 sewvants so? ^.^ Thou OwO wewt best uWu set >w< thy >_< wowew ÚwÚ pawt :3 whewe >w< thy x3 nyose 
^w^ stands. ^-^ By >_< minye honyouw, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe >_> but >w< two >_> houws younger, ;;w;; I'd xDD beat 
thee. Methink'st xDD thou awt :3 a general ^-^ offence, ÚwÚ and every x3 man >_> shouwd 
xDD beat thee. UwU I think xDD thou >w< wast created fow ;;w;; men to ;;w;; bweathe 
x3 themsewves ;;w;; upon thee. 
PAROLLES. This >_> is x3 hawd ÚwÚ and ^.^ undesewved uWu measuwe, x3 my OwO wowd. 
UwU WAFEU. Go ^.^ to, siw; xDD you :3 wewe beaten uWu in Italy fow :33 picking :3 a ;;w;; kewnyew 
x3 out of :3 a xDD pomegwanyate; xDD you OwO awe :3 a vagabond, ÚwÚ and nyo true traveller; 
xDD you OwO awe ^.^ mowe ^w^ saucy with wowds ÚwÚ and ^.^ honyouwabwe :33 pewsonyages than x3 the 
OwO commission of x3 youw birth ÚwÚ and viwtue ;;w;; gives xDD you :33 hewawdwy. >_> You OwO awe 
nyot ^.^ wowth anyothew word, >_> ewse ;;w;; I'd caww xDD you knave. UwU I OwO weave OwO you. 
uWu Exit 

Entew >_> BEWTWAM 

PAROLLES. OwO Good, vewy, UwU good, >w< it >_> is UwU so UwU then. OwO Good, xDD vewy good; wet >w< it 
be OwO conceaw'd OwO awhiwe. 
BERTRAM. Undone, ÚwÚ and >_< fowfeited to ÚwÚ cawes fow evew! 
PAROLLES. x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, UwU sweetheawt? 
BERTRAM. Awthough >w< befowe x3 the solemn priest UwU I uWu have sworn, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot x3 bed her. 
PAROLLES. What, x3 what, UwU sweetheawt? 
BERTRAM. x3 O x3 my Parolles, ;;w;; they uWu have mawwied me! 
I'll to x3 the ^w^ Tuscan ^-^ waws, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew x3 bed her. 
PAROLLES. Fwance >_> is :3 a ^-^ dog-howe, ÚwÚ and >w< it nyo ^.^ mowe xDD mewits 
uWu The ;;w;; twead of :3 a :33 man's ^-^ foot. ;;w;; To x3 th' x3 waws! 
BERTRAM. >_> Thewe's x3 wettews from x3 my mothew; >_> what x3 th' impowt >_> is UwU I ^.^ knyow 
nyot >_> yet. 
PAROLLES. Ay, :3 that ^.^ wouwd be knyown. ;;w;; To x3 th' ^-^ waws, x3 my ^-^ boy, to x3 th' 
x3 waws! 
>w< He ^-^ weaws :33 his honour uWu in :3 a ^w^ box unseen 
:33 That uWu hugs :33 his *looks away* kicky-wicky OwO hewe uWu at ^.^ home, 
OwO Spending :33 his xDD manwy uWu mawwow uWu in her awms, 
>_< Which >_> shouwd >_< sustain x3 the bound ÚwÚ and xDD high cuwvet 
Of Maws's fiery :3 steed. ;;w;; To othew ^w^ wegions! 
Fwance >_> is :3 a ^w^ stabwe; ^.^ we :3 that dwell OwO in't OwO jades; 
>_< Thewefowe, to x3 th' xDD waw! 
BERTRAM. ^.^ It UwU shaww be so; I'll >_> send her to x3 my house, 
:3 Acquaint x3 my mothew with x3 my ^-^ hate to hew, 
xDD And ^-^ whewefowe UwU I ^w^ am fled; >w< wwite to x3 the ^w^ King 
:33 That which UwU I x3 duwst nyot >_< speak. ÚwÚ His xDD pwesent ^w^ gift 
Shall furnish ;;w;; me to UwU those Itawian fields 
Whewe x3 nyobwe ^w^ fewwows stwike. War >_> is nyo uWu stwife 
;;w;; To x3 the dark ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 detested x3 wife. 
PAROLLES. Will ÚwÚ this >w< capwiccio howd uWu in ÚwÚ thee, awt suwe? 
BERTRAM. Go with ;;w;; me to x3 my x3 chambew ÚwÚ and ;;w;; advise x3 me. 
I'll >_> send her ^w^ stwaight xDD away. >_< To-mowwow 
I'll to x3 the ^-^ waws, ^.^ she to her :3 singwe ;;w;; sowwow. 
PAROLLES. Why, these uWu bawws bound; there's noise uWu in :3 it. 'Tis hawd: 
^-^ A xDD young x3 man mawwied >_> is :3 a x3 man ^w^ that's marr'd. 
Therefore away, ÚwÚ and OwO weave her UwU bwavewy; ÚwÚ go. 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> has donye xDD you >_> wwong; but, >_< hush, UwU 'tis :3 so. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 
Paris. uWu The KING'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew HEWENyA ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

HEWENyA. OwO My mothew greets ;;w;; me kindwy; >_> is ^.^ she ^.^ weww? 
uWu CWOWN. :33 She >_> is nyot weww, >_> but yet ^.^ she >_> has her health; ^w^ she's xDD vewy 
>_> mewwy, >_> but yet ^.^ she >_> is nyot well. OwO But thanks be ^w^ given, ^w^ she's xDD vewy 
weww, ÚwÚ and wants >_< nyothing :33 i' x3 th' wowwd; >_> but yet ^.^ she >_> is nyot well. 
HEWENyA. ;;w;; If ^.^ she be xDD vewy weww, >_> what does ^.^ she ^w^ aiw :3 that ^w^ she's nyot xDD vewy 
^.^ weww? 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Twuwy, ^w^ she's xDD vewy weww :33 indeed, >_> but fow >w< two xDD things. 
HEWENyA. >_> What >w< two things? 
uWu CWOWN. One, :3 that ^w^ she's nyot uWu in ^.^ heaven, :33 whithew ^w^ God >_> send her quickwy! 
uWu The ÚwÚ othew, :3 that ^w^ she's uWu in earth, from >_> whence ^w^ God >_> send her quickwy! 

Entew x3 PAWOWWES 

PAROLLES. :3 Bwess UwU you, x3 my ;;w;; fowtunyate :33 wady! 
HEWENyA. UwU I hope, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu have x3 youw ÚwÚ good xDD wiww to uWu have >_< minye UwU own ÚwÚ good 
fortunes. 
PAROLLES. >_> You xDD had x3 my >_< pwayews to lead them xDD on; ÚwÚ and to >_< keep them ;;w;; on, 
uWu have them xDD stiww. >_< O, x3 my ^-^ knyave, >w< how does x3 my ;;w;; owd x3 wady? 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ So :3 that xDD you xDD had her ^.^ wwinkwes ÚwÚ and UwU I her monyey, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she 
uWu did >_< as xDD you :3 say. 
PAROLLES. Why, UwU I >_> say OwO nyothing. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO Mawwy, xDD you OwO awe x3 the wiser xDD man; fow UwU many :3 a :33 man's >_> tongue ÚwÚ shakes 
x3 out :33 his xDD mastew's undoing. ;;w;; To >_> say uWu nyothing, to UwU do uWu nyothing, to ^.^ knyow 
uWu nyothing, ÚwÚ and to uWu have uWu nyothing, >_> is to be :3 a great ÚwÚ pawt of x3 youw 
:3 titwe, which >_> is within :3 a xDD vewy xDD wittwe of OwO nyothing. 
PAROLLES. >_> Away! th'art :3 a knave. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> You >_> shouwd uWu have said, ^w^ siw, :3 'Befowe :3 a x3 knyave th'art :3 a ^.^ knyave'; 
^w^ that's :3 'Befowe ;;w;; me th'art :3 a knave.' This xDD had :33 been truth, sir. 
PAROLLES. Go ^.^ to, xDD thou awt :3 a ^.^ witty foow; UwU I uWu have >_> found thee. 
uWu CWOWN. Did xDD you find ;;w;; me uWu in yourself, ^w^ siw, ow :3 wewe xDD you ÚwÚ taught to find 
me? uWu The :3 seawch, ^w^ siw, UwU was ÚwÚ pwofitabwe; ÚwÚ and much >w< foow OwO may xDD you find 
uWu in UwU you, even to x3 the OwO wowwd's :3 pweasuwe ÚwÚ and x3 the incwease of 
uWu waughtew. 
PAROLLES. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good ^-^ knyave, :33 i' ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ and weww xDD fed. 
uWu Madam, x3 my ;;w;; wowd xDD wiww OwO go OwO away to-night: 
^-^ A xDD vewy sewious business ;;w;; cawws on ^.^ him. 
uWu The great prerogative ÚwÚ and ^-^ wite of xDD wuv, 
>_< Which, >_< as x3 youw >_> due, time OwO cwaims, ^.^ he does ^w^ acknyowwedge; 
OwO But puts >w< it x3 off to :3 a OwO compeww'd westwaint; 
>_< Whose >w< want, ÚwÚ and x3 whose delay, >_> is UwU stwew'd with x3 sweets, 
>_< Which ;;w;; they :33 distiw nyow uWu in x3 the curbed time, 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the xDD coming >_> houw o'erflow with joy 
xDD And :3 pweasuwe x3 dwown x3 the >_< bwim. 
HEWENyA. x3 What's :33 his else? 
PAROLLES. :33 That xDD you xDD wiww OwO take x3 youw x3 instant OwO weave ^.^ o' x3 th' OwO King, 
xDD And >_< make ÚwÚ this ^.^ haste >_< as x3 youw UwU own ÚwÚ good pwoceeding, 
Stwength'nyed with >_> what >_> apowogy xDD you think 
^-^ May >_< make >w< it probable ^w^ nyeed. 
HEWENyA. >_> What ^.^ mowe ;;w;; commands uWu he? 
PAROLLES. ^.^ That, xDD having ÚwÚ this uWu obtain'd, xDD you presently 
uWu Attend :33 his further pleasure. 
HEWENyA. ^w^ In evewything UwU I wait ;;w;; upon :33 his :33 wiww. 
PAROLLES. UwU I UwU shaww wepowt >w< it :3 so. 
HEWENyA. UwU I pray OwO you. uWu Exit x3 PAWOWWES 
^.^ Come, sirrah. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE 5. 
Paris. uWu The KING'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew LAFEU ÚwÚ and >_> BEWTWAM 

UwU WAFEU. OwO But UwU I UwU hope x3 youw OwO wowdship ^w^ thinks nyot ^.^ him :3 a OwO sowdiew. 
BERTRAM. Yes, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and of xDD vewy uWu vawiant approof. 
UwU WAFEU. >_> You uWu have >w< it from :33 his UwU own >_< dewivewance. 
BERTRAM. xDD And ^.^ by othew wawwanted xDD testimony. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU Then x3 my OwO diaw xDD goes nyot true; UwU I >_> took ÚwÚ this lark fow :3 a ^w^ bunting. 
BERTRAM. UwU I UwU do :33 assuwe UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ he >_> is xDD vewy great uWu in ^-^ knyowwedge, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; accowdingwy ^w^ vawiant. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I uWu have xDD then sinn'd OwO against :33 his UwU expewience ÚwÚ and UwU twansgwess'd 
OwO against :33 his :3 vawouw; ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< state :3 that uWu way >_> is UwU dangewous, xDD since UwU I 
;;w;; cannyot yet find uWu in x3 my >_< heawt to wepent. :3 Hewe ^.^ he ;;w;; comes; UwU I pray xDD you 
>_< make >_> us >_< fwiends; UwU I xDD wiww pursue x3 the >_< amity 

Entew x3 PAWOWWES 

PAROLLES. :33 [To BERTRAM] ;;w;; These ^.^ things UwU shaww be :33 donye, sir. 
UwU WAFEU. >_> Pway UwU you, ^w^ siw, OwO who's :33 his >_> taiwow? 
PAROLLES. ^.^ Siw! 
UwU WAFEU. >_< O, UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him well. Ay, siw; xDD he, ^w^ siw, ^-^ 's :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 wowkman, :3 a 
xDD vewy ÚwÚ good uWu taiwow. 
BERTRAM. ^-^ [Aside to ^-^ PAWOWWES] Is ^.^ she >_> gonye to x3 the >_> King? 
PAROLLES. :33 She >w< is. 
BERTRAM. Will ^.^ she OwO away :3 to-nyight? 
PAROLLES. ;;w;; As you'ww uWu have her. 
BERTRAM. UwU I uWu have ^-^ wwit x3 my letters, >_< casketed x3 my treasure, 
Given order fow UwU ouw horses; ÚwÚ and OwO to-nyight, 
x3 When UwU I >_> shouwd OwO take >w< possession of x3 the :3 bwide, 
:33 End ere UwU I UwU do ;;w;; begin. 
UwU WAFEU. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ twavewwew >_> is ^-^ something uWu at x3 the UwU wattew >w< end of :3 a uWu dinnyew; 
>_> but one :3 that wies >_> thwee-thiwds ÚwÚ and x3 uses :3 a ÚwÚ knyown uWu twuth to pass :3 a 
thousand xDD nyothings OwO with, >_> shouwd be >_> once heard ÚwÚ and thrice xDD beaten. 
^w^ God :3 save UwU you, ^-^ Captain. 
BERTRAM. Is there xDD any unkindnyess ^-^ between x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and UwU you, monsieuw? 
PAROLLES. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how UwU I uWu have deserved to >w< wun x3 into x3 my UwU wowd's 
dispweasuwe. 
UwU WAFEU. >_> You uWu have UwU made OwO shift to >w< wun x3 into :3 't, ÚwÚ boots ÚwÚ and :33 spuws ÚwÚ and all, 
^.^ wike ^.^ him :3 that uWu weapt x3 into x3 the OwO custawd; ÚwÚ and x3 out of >w< it you'ww >w< wun 
OwO again, rather than suffew ;;w;; question fow x3 youw ^-^ wesidence. 
BERTRAM. ^.^ It OwO may be xDD you uWu have ^.^ mistaken :3 him, x3 my OwO wowd. 
UwU WAFEU. xDD And UwU shaww UwU do UwU so ever, ^w^ though UwU I >_> took ^.^ him UwU at's prayers. 
>w< Fawe xDD you weww, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ and ^-^ bewieve ÚwÚ this of ;;w;; me: there ^.^ can be nyo 
kewnyaw uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< wight nut; x3 the :3 souw of ÚwÚ this x3 man >_> is :33 his clothes; 
:33 twust ^.^ him nyot uWu in ;;w;; mattew of x3 heavy xDD consequence; UwU I uWu have :33 kept of them 
tame, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow uWu theiw natures. UwU Faweweww, >w< monsieuw; UwU I uWu have >w< spoken 
xDD bettew of xDD you than xDD you uWu have ow xDD wiww to OwO desewve uWu at x3 my xDD hand; >_> but ^.^ we 
^w^ must UwU do ÚwÚ good OwO against evil. uWu Exit 
PAROLLES. ^-^ An idle uWu wowd, UwU I OwO sweaw. 
BERTRAM. UwU I think :3 so. 
PAROLLES. Why, UwU do xDD you nyot ^.^ knyow him? 
BERTRAM. Yes, UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow ^.^ him well; ÚwÚ and ^w^ common ÚwÚ speech 
>w< Gives ^.^ him :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy :3 pass. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my xDD cwog. 

Entew HEWENyA 

HEWENyA. UwU I have, ^w^ siw, >_< as UwU I UwU was :3 commanded from UwU you, 
OwO Spoke with x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and uWu have procur'd :33 his OwO weave 
For xDD pwesent :33 pawting; >w< onwy ^.^ he desiwes 
;;w;; Some >_> pwivate ÚwÚ speech with OwO you. 
BERTRAM. UwU I UwU shaww UwU obey :33 his :33 wiww. 
>_> You ^w^ must nyot marvel, Hewen, uWu at x3 my course, 
>_< Which ÚwÚ howds nyot colour with x3 the time, nor does 
uWu The >_> minyistwation ÚwÚ and OwO wequiwed ^.^ office 
On x3 my :33 pawticuwaw. >w< Pwepaw'd UwU I UwU was nyot 
For xDD such :3 a ^.^ businyess; >_< thewefowe ^w^ am UwU I >_> found 
^w^ So much uWu unsettwed. This drives ;;w;; me to entweat xDD you 
:33 That presently xDD you OwO take x3 youw uWu way fow ^.^ home, 
xDD And rather >_< muse than ^w^ ask >w< why UwU I entweat uWu you; 
For x3 my UwU wespects OwO awe xDD bettew than ;;w;; they ;;w;; seem, 
xDD And x3 my OwO appointments uWu have uWu in them :3 a >_< nyeed 
:3 Gweatew than >_< shows itsewf uWu at x3 the xDD fiwst x3 view 
;;w;; To xDD you :3 that ^.^ knyow them not. This to x3 my x3 mothew. 
>_> [Giving :3 a >_> wettew] 
'Twiww be >w< two OwO days ere UwU I UwU shaww >_> see uWu you; UwU so 
UwU I OwO weave xDD you to x3 youw wisdom. 
HEWENyA. UwU Siw, UwU I ^.^ can >_< nyothing >_> say 
OwO But :3 that UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw UwU most obedient servant. 
BERTRAM. ^.^ Come, come, nyo ^.^ mowe of x3 that. 
HEWENyA. xDD And OwO evew UwU shaww 
With true observance >_> seek to eke x3 out :3 that 
^-^ Whewein toward ;;w;; me x3 my homewy stars uWu have ;;w;; faiw'd 
;;w;; To equal x3 my great xDD fowtunye. 
BERTRAM. Let :3 that ÚwÚ go. 
OwO My ^.^ haste >_> is xDD vewy ^.^ gweat. Farewell; hie >_> home. 
HEWENyA. ÚwÚ Pway, ^w^ siw, x3 youw pardon. 
BERTRAM. xDD Weww, >_> what ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^.^ say? 
HEWENyA. UwU I ^w^ am nyot ÚwÚ wowthy of x3 the weawth UwU I owe, 
x3 Nyow dawe UwU I >_> say UwU 'tis >_> minye, ÚwÚ and yet >w< it is; 
But, ^.^ wike :3 a uWu timowous :33 thief, UwU most >_> fain ^.^ wouwd ^.^ steaw 
>_> What law does ÚwÚ vouch >_< minye own. 
BERTRAM. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you have? 
HEWENyA. :33 Something; ÚwÚ and scawce UwU so >_> much; uWu nyothing, indeed. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot tell xDD you >_> what UwU I :3 wouwd, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Faith, ^w^ yes: 
x3 Stwangews ÚwÚ and ^-^ foes UwU do OwO sundew ÚwÚ and nyot >w< kiss. 
BERTRAM. UwU I pray UwU you, xDD stay >_> nyot, >_> but uWu in ^.^ haste to horse. 
HEWENyA. UwU I UwU shaww nyot bweak x3 youw bidding, ÚwÚ good x3 my OwO wowd. 
BERTRAM. Whewe OwO awe x3 my othew men, monsieuw? 
>_< Faweweww! uWu Exit HEWENyA 
Go xDD thou toward ^.^ home, :3 whewe UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew come 
Whilst UwU I ^.^ can ;;w;; shake x3 my xDD swowd ow hear x3 the dwum. 
:33 Away, ÚwÚ and fow UwU ouw fwight. 
PAROLLES. Bravely, ^.^ cowagio! Exeunt 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
Fwowence. uWu The :33 DUKE's ^w^ pawace 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF FWOWENCE, ^.^ attended; >w< two 
>_< FWENCH LORDS, with :3 a >w< TWOOP ÚwÚ OF SOLDIERS 

x3 DUKE. ^w^ So :3 that, from :33 point to UwU point, nyow uWu have xDD you hear 
uWu The ÚwÚ fundamentaw weasons of ÚwÚ this UwU waw; 
>_< Whose great uWu decision hath much :3 bwood wet fowth 
xDD And ^.^ mowe thirsts >w< aftew. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Holy ;;w;; seems x3 the ^-^ quawwew 
>_> Upon x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's ^w^ pawt; black ÚwÚ and x3 feawfuw 
On x3 the >_< opposew. 
x3 DUKE. Therefore ^.^ we :3 mawvew much UwU ouw xDD cousin Fwance 
Wouwd uWu in UwU so >w< just :3 a business shut :33 his ^w^ bosom 
^w^ Against UwU ouw bowwowing prayers. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, 
uWu The weasons of UwU ouw >w< state UwU I ;;w;; cannyot :33 yiewd, 
OwO But ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ common ÚwÚ and >w< an :33 outwawd x3 man 
:33 That x3 the great xDD figuwe of :3 a council ^-^ fwames 
^-^ By sewf-unyabwe >w< motion; >_< thewefowe dawe nyot 
x3 Say >_> what UwU I think of :33 it, xDD since UwU I uWu have >_> found 
xDD Mysewf uWu in x3 my incewtain grounds to fail 
;;w;; As often >_< as UwU I >_> guess'd. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Be >w< it :33 his pleasure. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. OwO But UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe x3 the :3 youngew of UwU ouw nyatuwe, 
:33 That suwfeit on uWu theiw uWu ease, xDD wiww day ^.^ by day 
:3 Come OwO hewe fow physic. 
x3 DUKE. Welcome UwU shaww ;;w;; they be 
xDD And aww x3 the honyouws :3 that ^.^ can fwy from >_> us 
Shall on them settle. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 youw pwaces well; 
x3 When xDD bettew ^.^ faww, fow x3 youw avails ;;w;; they x3 feww. 
>_< To-mowwow to x3 th' >_> fiewd. >w< Fwouwish. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
^.^ Wousiwwon. uWu The >_> COUNT'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^-^ COUNTESS ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

COUNTESS. ^.^ It hath ^.^ happen'd aww >_< as UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD had :33 it, :3 save :3 that ^.^ he 
x3 comes nyot :3 awong with her. 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU I OwO take x3 my xDD young ;;w;; wowd to be :3 a xDD vewy ^-^ mewanchowy 
man. 
COUNTESS. ^-^ By >_> what observance, UwU I pray you? 
uWu CWOWN. Why, ^.^ he xDD wiww wook ;;w;; upon :33 his ^w^ boot ÚwÚ and UwU sing; mend x3 the OwO wuff ÚwÚ and 
UwU sing; ^w^ ask UwU questions ÚwÚ and UwU sing; pick :33 his teeth ÚwÚ and ;;w;; sing. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 a 
x3 man :3 that xDD had ÚwÚ this twick of ^-^ mewanchowy sold :3 a xDD goodwy ^-^ manyow fow :3 a 
:33 song. 
COUNTESS. Let ;;w;; me >_> see >_> what ^.^ he uWu wwites, ÚwÚ and when ^.^ he means to x3 come. 
uWu [Openying :3 a >_> wettew] 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I uWu have nyo ^-^ mind to Isbel xDD since UwU I UwU was uWu at >_< couwt. Our ;;w;; owd ling 
ÚwÚ and UwU ouw >_< Isbews ^.^ o' x3 th' countwy OwO awe >_< nyothing ^.^ wike x3 youw ;;w;; owd ling ÚwÚ and 
x3 youw >_< Isbews ^.^ o' x3 th' >_< couwt. uWu The brains of x3 my uWu Cupid's knyock'd out; 
ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 begin to xDD wuv, >_< as >w< an ;;w;; owd x3 man loves monyey, with nyo :33 stomach. 
COUNTESS. >_> What uWu have ^.^ we hewe? 
uWu CWOWN. E'en :3 that xDD you uWu have :33 thewe. uWu Exit 
COUNTESS. [Weads] ÚwÚ 'I uWu have sent xDD you :3 a ;;w;; daughtew-in-waw; ^.^ she hath 
recovered x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ undonye x3 me. UwU I uWu have >w< wedded hew, nyot ;;w;; bedded 
>w< hew; ÚwÚ and sworn to >_< make x3 the "not" ^-^ etewnyaw. >_> You UwU shaww hear UwU I ^w^ am >w< wun 
:3 away; ^.^ knyow >w< it >w< befowe x3 the wepowt x3 come. ;;w;; If there be bweadth enough 
uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, UwU I xDD wiww howd :3 a ^-^ wong ^-^ distance. OwO My >_> duty to OwO you. 
uWu Youw :33 unfowtunyate x3 son, 
BERTRAM.' 
This >_> is nyot weww, >_< wash ÚwÚ and unbwidwed ^-^ boy, 
;;w;; To fwy x3 the ;;w;; favouws of UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a OwO king, 
;;w;; To pluck :33 his >_< indignyation on >w< thy >_> head 
^-^ By x3 the misprizing of :3 a >_< maid ^w^ too virtuous 
For x3 the x3 contempt of ÚwÚ empiwe. 

^.^ We-entew CWOWN 

uWu CWOWN. x3 O UwU madam, yonder >_> is x3 heavy nyews within ^-^ between >w< two ^-^ sowdiews 
ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD young >_> wady. 
COUNTESS. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< -mattew? 
uWu CWOWN. Nyay, there >_> is x3 some uWu comfowt uWu in x3 the news, x3 some uWu comfowt; x3 youw 
>_< son xDD wiww nyot be kill'd UwU so >w< soon >_< as UwU I xDD thought ^.^ he would. 
COUNTESS. Why >_> shouwd ^.^ he be kiww'd? 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ So >_> say I, UwU madam, >_> if ^.^ he >w< wun away, >_< as UwU I hear ^.^ he does x3 the 
danger >_> is uWu in >_< standing to UwU 't; ^w^ that's x3 the ^-^ woss of men, ^w^ though >w< it be 
x3 the UwU getting of >_< chiwdwen. :3 Hewe ;;w;; they come xDD wiww tell xDD you more. For x3 my 
>_> pawt, UwU I >w< onwy hear x3 youw >_< son UwU was >w< wun xDD away. uWu Exit 

Entew HEWENyA ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< two >_< FWENCH ^-^ GENTWEMEN 

^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. :3 Save UwU you, ÚwÚ good UwU madam. 
HEWENyA. uWu Madam, x3 my ;;w;; wowd >_> is >w< gonye, fow OwO evew ;;w;; gonye. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Do nyot >_> say :3 so. 
COUNTESS. ^w^ Think ;;w;; upon OwO patience. >_> Pway UwU you, UwU gentwemen- 
UwU I uWu have UwU fewt UwU so UwU many ^.^ quiwks of joy ÚwÚ and grief 
:33 That x3 the xDD fiwst OwO face of nyeithew, on x3 the :33 stawt, 
UwU Can OwO woman ;;w;; me >w< unto :3 't. Whewe >_> is x3 my x3 son, UwU I pray you? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. uWu Madam, uWu he's >_> gonye to serve x3 the >w< Duke of Fwowence. 
We >w< met ^.^ him ^.^ thithewwawd; fow thence ^.^ we came, 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ aftew x3 some dispatch uWu in uWu hand uWu at xDD couwt, 
Thither ^.^ we >w< bend ;;w;; again. 
HEWENyA. Wook on ÚwÚ this letter, x3 madam; hewe's x3 my passport. 
[Weads] ^-^ 'When xDD thou ;;w;; canst get x3 the OwO wing ;;w;; upon x3 my finger, which 
>_< nyevew UwU shaww come ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and x3 show ;;w;; me :3 a chiwd uWu begotten of >w< thy >w< body 
:3 that UwU I ^w^ am >w< fathew ^.^ to, xDD then caww ;;w;; me xDD husband; >_> but uWu in xDD such :3 a "then" UwU I 
>w< wwite :3 a "nyevew." 
This >_> is :3 a :3 dweadfuw :33 sentence. 
COUNTESS. Bwought xDD you ÚwÚ this letter, :33 gentwemen? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Ay, x3 madam; 
xDD And fow x3 the UwU contents' ÚwÚ sake OwO awe sowwy fow UwU ouw OwO pains. 
COUNTESS. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, UwU wady, uWu have :3 a xDD bettew cheer; 
;;w;; If xDD thou uWu engwossest aww x3 the griefs OwO awe xDD thinye, 
^.^ Thou OwO wobb'st ;;w;; me of :3 a moiety. >w< He UwU was x3 my son; 
OwO But UwU I UwU do >_< wash :33 his xDD nyame x3 out of x3 my bwood, 
xDD And xDD thou awt aww x3 my :33 chiwd. Towards xDD Fwowence >_> is uWu he? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Ay, UwU madam. 
COUNTESS. xDD And to be :3 a x3 sowdiew? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. >w< Such >_> is :33 his x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ puwpose; x3 and, ^-^ bewieve :3 't, 
uWu The >w< Duke xDD wiww uWu way ;;w;; upon ^.^ him aww x3 the honour 
:33 That ÚwÚ good convenience claims. 
COUNTESS. Return xDD you x3 thithew? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. Ay, UwU madam, with x3 the :33 swiftest OwO wing of ;;w;; speed. 
HEWENyA. [Weads] :3 'Tiww UwU I uWu have nyo :3 wife, UwU I uWu have >_< nyothing uWu in ^-^ Fwance.' 
'Tis ÚwÚ bittew. 
COUNTESS. UwU Find xDD you :3 that OwO thewe? 
HEWENyA. Ay, UwU madam. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. 'Tis >_> but x3 the boldness of :33 his uWu hand hapwy, which 
:33 his >_< heawt UwU was nyot >_< consenting ;;w;; to. 
COUNTESS. Nyothing uWu in Fwance ÚwÚ untiw ^.^ he uWu have nyo wife! 
>_> Thewe's >_< nyothing OwO hewe :3 that >_> is ^w^ too ÚwÚ good fow ^.^ him 
OwO But >w< onwy ^.^ she; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she >_> desewves :3 a ;;w;; wowd 
:33 That ÚwÚ twenty xDD such wude >_< boys ^w^ might tend upon, 
xDD And caww her hourly ^w^ mistwess. Who UwU was with him? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ A xDD sewvant >_> onwy, ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ sometime knyown. 
COUNTESS. Parolles, UwU was >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good UwU wady, he. 
COUNTESS. ^-^ A xDD vewy xDD tainted fewwow, ÚwÚ and full of ^w^ wickednyess. 
OwO My >_< son ^-^ cowwupts :3 a x3 weww-dewived ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
With :33 his inducement. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. >w< Indeed, ÚwÚ good UwU wady, 
uWu The fewwow >_> has :3 a deal of :3 that ^w^ too much 
>_< Which ÚwÚ howds ^.^ him much to :3 have. 
COUNTESS. Y'awe ;;w;; wewcome, >_< gentwemen. 
UwU I xDD wiww entweat UwU you, when xDD you >_> see x3 my x3 son, 
;;w;; To tell ^.^ him :3 that :33 his xDD swowd ^.^ can >_< nyevew x3 win 
uWu The honour :3 that ^.^ he woses. uWu Mowe I'll entweat xDD you 
Written to UwU beaw >_> awong. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. We serve UwU you, UwU madam, 
^w^ In :3 that ÚwÚ and aww x3 youw x3 wowthiest x3 affaiws. 
COUNTESS. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, >_> but >_< as ^.^ we change UwU ouw courtesies. 
Will xDD you dwaw ;;w;; nyeaw? Exeunt ^-^ COUNTESS ÚwÚ and ^-^ GENTWEMEN 
HEWENyA. :3 'Tiww UwU I uWu have nyo :3 wife, UwU I uWu have >_< nyothing uWu in ^-^ Fwance.' 
Nyothing uWu in Fwance ÚwÚ untiw ^.^ he >_> has nyo wife! 
^.^ Thou shalt uWu have nyonye, :33 Wousiwwon, >_< nyonye uWu in Fwance 
UwU Then x3 hast xDD thou aww ;;w;; again. OwO Poow ^.^ wowd! :3 is't 
:33 That OwO chase uWu thee from >w< thy country, ÚwÚ and expose 
>w< Those xDD tendew x3 wimbs of ^.^ thinye to x3 the event 
Of x3 the ÚwÚ nyon-spawing ;;w;; waw? xDD And >_> is >w< it UwU I 
:33 That UwU dwive uWu thee from x3 the >w< spowtive xDD couwt, :3 whewe xDD thou 
UwU Wast UwU shot uWu at with >w< faiw ^w^ eyes, to be x3 the mark 
Of >w< smoky ^-^ muskets? x3 O xDD you weaden messengers, 
:33 That uWu wide ;;w;; upon x3 the :3 viowent ^w^ speed of ^w^ fiwe, 
xDD Fwy with UwU fawse aim; move x3 the stiww-piecing air, 
:33 That ^-^ sings with piercing; UwU do nyot :33 touch x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ Whoevew >_< shoots uWu at :3 him, UwU I uWu set ^.^ him uWu thewe; 
ÚwÚ Whoevew chawges on :33 his forward UwU bweast, 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the ^.^ caitiff :3 that UwU do howd ^.^ him x3 to't; 
xDD And ^w^ though UwU I OwO kiww ^.^ him >_> nyot, UwU I ^w^ am x3 the cause 
ÚwÚ His :33 death UwU was UwU so x3 effected. uWu Bettew >w< 'twewe 
UwU I >w< met x3 the ravin wion when ^.^ he >w< woaw'd 
With ^-^ shawp :33 constwaint of >w< hungew; xDD bettew >w< 'twewe 
:33 That aww x3 the misewies which ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> owes 
^.^ Wewe >_< minye uWu at OwO once. No; come xDD thou ^.^ home, :33 Wousiwwon, 
OwO Whence honour >_> but of danger ^w^ wins :3 a scar, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; oft >w< it loses all. UwU I xDD wiww be ;;w;; gonye. 
OwO My ^.^ being OwO hewe >w< it >_> is :3 that ÚwÚ howds uWu thee x3 hence. 
Shall UwU I xDD stay OwO hewe to UwU do ;;w;; 't? :3 Nyo, no, awthough 
uWu The ^w^ aiw of paradise uWu did >_> fan x3 the house, 
xDD And ^-^ angews ^w^ offic'd all. UwU I xDD wiww be >w< gonye, 
:33 That ^w^ pitifuw >_< wumouw OwO may wepowt x3 my :33 fwight 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ consowate ^.^ thinye :3 eaw. ^.^ Come, ^w^ nyight; ^w^ end, x3 day. 
For with x3 the >_> dawk, poor :33 thief, I'll ^.^ steaw xDD away. uWu Exit 




^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
Fwowence. ^.^ Befowe x3 the :33 DUKE's ^w^ pawace 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF FWOWENCE, BERTRAM, >_> PAWOWWES, SOWDIEWS, 
drum ÚwÚ and trumpets 

x3 DUKE. uWu The General of UwU ouw Horse xDD thou awt; ÚwÚ and :33 we, 
UwU Gweat uWu in UwU ouw hope, uWu way UwU ouw best wuv ÚwÚ and credence 
>_> Upon >w< thy OwO pwomising xDD fowtunye. 
BERTRAM. UwU Siw, >w< it >_> is 
^-^ A :3 chawge ^w^ too x3 heavy fow x3 my >_> stwength; >_> but yet 
^-^ We'ww strive to UwU beaw >w< it fow x3 youw ÚwÚ wowthy ÚwÚ sake 
;;w;; To x3 th' extweme UwU edge of ÚwÚ hazawd. 
x3 DUKE. UwU Then OwO go xDD thou forth; 
xDD And :33 Fowtunye :33 pway ;;w;; upon >w< thy :33 pwospewous hewm, 
;;w;; As >w< thy auspicious mistwess! 
BERTRAM. This xDD vewy ^-^ day, 
UwU Gweat :33 Maws, UwU I put mysewf x3 into >w< thy x3 fiwe; 
^-^ Make ;;w;; me >_> but ^.^ wike x3 my thoughts, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ pwuv 
^-^ A wuvw of >w< thy dwum, hatew of love. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 
^.^ Wousiwwon. uWu The >_> COUNT'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^-^ COUNTESS ÚwÚ and :3 STEWAWD 

COUNTESS. ^-^ Awas! ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd xDD you OwO take x3 the >_> wettew of OwO hew? 
^.^ Might xDD you nyot ^.^ knyow ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd UwU do >_< as ^.^ she >_> has donye 
^-^ By UwU sending ;;w;; me :3 a wettew? xDD Wead >w< it ;;w;; again. 
STEWARD. [Weads] ÚwÚ 'I ^w^ am Saint Jaques' :3 piwgwim, uWu thithew ;;w;; gonye. 
Ambitious wuv hath UwU so uWu in ;;w;; me uWu offended 
:33 That barefoot plod UwU I x3 the UwU cowd x3 gwound upon, 
With sainted vow x3 my :33 fauwts to uWu have ^w^ amended. 
Write, wwite, :3 that from x3 the bwoody course of >w< waw 
OwO My deawest ^.^ mastew, x3 youw uWu deaw x3 son, OwO may ^-^ hie. 
:3 Bwess ^.^ him uWu at ^.^ home uWu in ÚwÚ peace, whiwst UwU I from uWu faw 
ÚwÚ His xDD nyame with zeawous fervour sanctify. 
ÚwÚ His :33 taken uWu wabouws bid ^.^ him ;;w;; me fowgive; 
I, :33 his xDD despitefuw >_< Junyo, sent ^.^ him fowth 
Fwom courtly OwO fwiends, with x3 camping ^-^ foes to x3 wive, 
Whewe :33 death ÚwÚ and danger ^.^ dogs x3 the heels of uWu wowth. 
>w< He >_> is ^w^ too ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and >w< faiw fow :33 death ÚwÚ and OwO me; 
;;w;; Whom UwU I mysewf >_< embwace to uWu set ^.^ him :3 fwee.' 
COUNTESS. xDD Ah, >_> what ^-^ shawp ^w^ stings OwO awe uWu in her miwdest words! 
x3 Winyawdo, xDD you uWu did >_< nyevew ^.^ wack advice UwU so much 
;;w;; As wetting her pass so; xDD had UwU I ^-^ spoke with hew, 
UwU I couwd uWu have weww :3 divewted her >w< intents, 
>_< Which OwO thus ^.^ she hath pwevented. 
STEWARD. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, x3 madam; 
;;w;; If UwU I xDD had UwU given xDD you ÚwÚ this uWu at ^-^ uvw-nyight, 
:33 She ^w^ might uWu have :33 been ^-^ o'ew ;;w;; ta'en; ÚwÚ and yet ^.^ she >_< wwites 
x3 Puwsuit ^.^ wouwd be >_> but OwO vain. 
COUNTESS. >_> What ÚwÚ angew UwU shaww 
:3 Bwess ÚwÚ this >_< unwowthy OwO husband? >w< He ;;w;; cannyot thwive, 
OwO Unwess her pwayews, ÚwÚ whom heaven dewights to hear 
xDD And loves to grant, reprieve ^.^ him from x3 the >_> wwath 
Of ÚwÚ gweatest justice. Write, wwite, x3 Winyawdo, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this >_< unwowthy :33 husband of :33 his :33 wife; 
Let every ;;w;; wowd >w< weigh x3 heavy of her ^.^ wowth 
:33 That ^.^ he does >w< weigh ^w^ too light. OwO My ÚwÚ gweatest gwief, 
;;w;; Though xDD wittwe ^.^ he UwU do x3 feew :33 it, uWu set down ÚwÚ shawpwy. 
OwO Dispatch x3 the UwU most UwU convenyient :3 messengew. 
x3 When haply ^.^ he UwU shaww hear :3 that ^.^ she >_> is >_> gonye 
>w< He xDD wiww OwO wetuwn; ÚwÚ and UwU hope UwU I OwO may :3 that uWu she, 
Heawing UwU so ÚwÚ much, xDD wiww ^w^ speed her :33 foot OwO again, 
UwU Wed ÚwÚ hithew ^.^ by puwe love. >_< Which of them both 
Is deawest to ;;w;; me UwU I uWu have nyo :3 skiww uWu in sense 
;;w;; To >_< make >_> distinction. Provide ÚwÚ this :3 messengew. 
OwO My >_< heawt >_> is >_< heavy, ÚwÚ and >_< minye age >_> is >_> weak; 
:3 Gwief ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^-^ teaws, ÚwÚ and sorrow UwU bids ;;w;; me >_< speak. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE 5. 

Without x3 the OwO wawws of xDD Fwowence 
^-^ A tucket afaw off. Entew >w< an ;;w;; owd >_< WIDOW ÚwÚ OF FWOWENCE, her daughter DIANA, 
^w^ VIOWENTA, ÚwÚ and MARIANA, with othew uWu CITIZENS 

uWu WIDOW. Nyay, >_< come; fow >_> if ;;w;; they UwU do appwoach x3 the UwU city ^.^ we UwU shaww wose 
aww x3 the :33 sight. 
DIANyA. ^-^ They >_> say x3 the OwO Fwench ;;w;; count >_> has donye UwU most ^.^ honyouwabwe service. 
uWu WIDOW. ^.^ It >_> is OwO wepowted :3 that ^.^ he >_> has :33 taken uWu theiw gweat'st commandew; 
ÚwÚ and :3 that with :33 his UwU own uWu hand ^.^ he >_< swew x3 the Duke's ^-^ bwothew. OwO [Tucket] 
We uWu have wost UwU ouw ^w^ wabouw; ;;w;; they OwO awe >_> gonye :3 a :33 contwawy >_> way. :33 Hawk! xDD you 
OwO may ^.^ knyow ^.^ by uWu theiw x3 twumpets. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's ^-^ wetuwn OwO again, ÚwÚ and x3 suffice ouwsewves with x3 the 
wepowt of :3 it. xDD Weww, OwO Dianya, OwO take :3 heed of ÚwÚ this OwO Fwench ^.^ eaww; x3 the 
honour of :3 a >_< maid >_> is her :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and nyo wegacy >_> is UwU so rich >_< as 
x3 honyesty. 
uWu WIDOW. UwU I uWu have told x3 my OwO nyeighbouw >w< how xDD you uWu have :33 been uWu sowicited ^.^ by :3 a 
ÚwÚ gentweman :33 his companyion. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 that ^-^ knyave, ^w^ hang x3 him! one Pawowwes; :3 a :33 fiwthy 
officer ^.^ he >_> is uWu in UwU those suggestions fow x3 the xDD young earl. ;;w;; Bewawe of 
ÚwÚ them, >w< Dianya: uWu theiw UwU pwomises, enticements, oaths, :3 tokens, ÚwÚ and aww 
these ^-^ enginyes of x3 wust, OwO awe nyot x3 the ^.^ things ;;w;; they OwO go UwU undew; UwU many :3 a 
>_< maid hath :33 been >_< seduced ^.^ by OwO them; ÚwÚ and x3 the misery ;;w;; is, ^w^ exampwe, :3 that 
UwU so tewwibwe >_< shows uWu in x3 the wreck of maidenhood, ;;w;; cannyot fow aww :3 that 
uWu dissuade :3 succession, >_> but :3 that ;;w;; they OwO awe :33 wimed with x3 the :33 twigs :3 that 
threatens OwO them. UwU I UwU hope UwU I >_< nyeed nyot to ;;w;; advise xDD you >w< fuwthew; >_> but UwU I 
UwU hope x3 youw UwU own xDD gwace xDD wiww >_< keep xDD you :3 whewe xDD you awe, ^w^ though there 
:3 wewe nyo further danger ÚwÚ knyown >_> but x3 the ÚwÚ modesty which >_> is UwU so :3 wost. 
DIANyA. >_> You UwU shaww nyot >_< nyeed to feaw x3 me. 

Entew HEWENyA uWu in x3 the :3 dwess of :3 a uWu piwgwim 

uWu WIDOW. UwU I UwU hope :3 so. x3 Wook, OwO hewe x3 comes :3 a piwgwim. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ she xDD wiww >_< wie 
uWu at x3 my ;;w;; house: uWu thithew ;;w;; they >_> send one anyothew. I'll ;;w;; question her. 
^w^ God :3 save UwU you, pilgrim! x3 Whithew OwO awe ;;w;; bound? 
HEWENyA. ;;w;; To Saint ^-^ Jaques ^.^ we ^-^ Gwand. 
Whewe UwU do x3 the pawmews UwU wodge, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech you? 
uWu WIDOW. At x3 the Saint ^-^ Fwancis UwU hewe, :3 beside x3 the port. 
HEWENyA. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the >w< way? 
:3 [A :33 mawch >w< afaw] 
uWu WIDOW. Ay, marry, xDD is't. ^.^ Hawk you! ^-^ They come ÚwÚ this >_> way. 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww tawwy, >w< howy :3 piwgwim, 
OwO But >w< tiww x3 the troops come UwU by, 
UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ conduct xDD you :3 whewe xDD you UwU shaww be lodg'd; 
uWu The rather fow UwU I think UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw hostess 
;;w;; As uWu ampwe >_< as :3 mysewf. 
HEWENyA. Is >w< it >w< youwsewf? 
uWu WIDOW. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU shaww uWu pwease >_> so, piwgwim. 
HEWENyA. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww xDD stay ;;w;; upon x3 youw xDD weisuwe. 
uWu WIDOW. >_> You came, UwU I >_< think, from France? 
HEWENyA. UwU I uWu did :3 so. 
uWu WIDOW. :3 Hewe xDD you UwU shaww >_> see :3 a countwyman of >_> youws 
:33 That >_> has donye ÚwÚ wowthy service. 
HEWENyA. ÚwÚ His :33 nyame, UwU I pray OwO you. 
DIANyA. uWu The xDD Count ^.^ Wousiwwon. xDD Knyow xDD you xDD such :3 a onye? 
HEWENyA. OwO But ^.^ by x3 the eaw, :3 that x3 heaws UwU most ;;w;; nyobwy of him; 
ÚwÚ His OwO face UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
DIANyA. >_> What :33 some'ew ^.^ he ;;w;; is, 
He's bravely :33 taken hewe. >w< He OwO stowe from >_< Fwance, 
;;w;; As UwU 'tis wepowted, fow x3 the ^w^ King xDD had mawwied ^.^ him 
^w^ Against :33 his x3 wiking. ^w^ Think xDD you >w< it >_> is so? 
HEWENyA. Ay, UwU suwewy, mere x3 the truth; UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his >_> wady. 
DIANyA. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that sewves x3 the xDD Count 
^-^ Wepowts >_> but ÚwÚ coawsewy of her. 
HEWENyA. x3 What's :33 his :3 nyame? 
DIANyA. ;;w;; Monsieuw ^w^ Pawowwes. 
HEWENyA. >_< O, UwU I ^-^ bewieve with :3 him, 
^w^ In :33 awgument of >_< pwaise, ow to x3 the ^.^ wowth 
Of x3 the great xDD Count himsewf, ^.^ she >_> is ^w^ too >_> mean 
;;w;; To uWu have her xDD nyame wepeated; aww her desewving 
Is :3 a wesewved :3 honyesty, ÚwÚ and :3 that 
UwU I uWu have nyot heard ;;w;; examin'd. 
DIANyA. ÚwÚ Awas, poor :33 wady! 
'Tis :3 a x3 hawd :3 bondage to :33 become x3 the >w< wife 
Of :3 a OwO detesting OwO wowd. 
uWu WIDOW. UwU I sweet, ÚwÚ good x3 cweatuwe, x3 whewesoe'ew ^.^ she >_> is 
:3 Hew >_< heawt :3 weighs :3 sadwy. This xDD young >_< maid ^w^ might UwU do her 
^-^ A shrewd tuwn, >_> if ^.^ she pweas'd. 
HEWENyA. How UwU do xDD you ^.^ mean? 
^-^ May be x3 the :3 amowous xDD Count sowicits her 
^w^ In x3 the unwawfuw puwpose. 
uWu WIDOW. >w< He >w< does, :33 indeed; 
xDD And bwokes with aww :3 that ^.^ can uWu in xDD such :3 a >_> suit 
Corrupt x3 the xDD tendew honour of :3 a >_> maid; 
OwO But ^.^ she >_> is awm'd fow :3 him, ÚwÚ and keeps her xDD guawd 
^w^ In honyestest OwO defence. 

OwO Entew, with drum ÚwÚ and cowouws, BERTRAM, >_> PAWOWWES, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
whole ÚwÚ AWMY 

^.^ MAWIANyA. uWu The gods UwU fowbid ^w^ ewse! 
uWu WIDOW. So, nyow ;;w;; they x3 come. 
:33 That >_> is Antonio, x3 the Duke's eldest son; 
^.^ That, Escalus. 
HEWENyA. >_< Which >_> is x3 the Frenchman? 
DIANyA. xDD He- 
:33 That with x3 the ÚwÚ pwume; UwU 'tis :3 a UwU most OwO gawwant UwU fewwow. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he :3 wov'd :33 his :33 wife; >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe ^-^ honyestew 
>w< He :3 wewe much goodlier. ^-^ Is't nyot :3 a handsome gentleman? 
HEWENyA. UwU I ^.^ wike ^.^ him well. 
DIANyA. 'Tis pity ^.^ he >_> is nyot honest. Yond's :3 that same x3 knyave 
:33 That weads ^.^ him to these >_> pwaces; :3 wewe UwU I :33 his uWu wady 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 poison :3 that ^-^ viwe ^w^ wascaw. 
HEWENyA. >_< Which >_> is uWu he? 
DIANyA. :33 That OwO jack-an-apes with scarfs. Why >_> is ^.^ he >_> mewanchowy? 
HEWENyA. Pewchance uWu he's ÚwÚ huwt :33 i' x3 th' ^.^ battwe. 
PAROLLES. >_< Wose UwU ouw ÚwÚ dwum! well. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. He's >w< shwewdwy vex'd uWu at OwO something. 
x3 Wook, ^.^ he >_> has ÚwÚ spied >_> us. 
uWu WIDOW. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ hang you! 
^.^ MAWIANyA. xDD And x3 youw couwtesy, fow :3 a UwU wing-cawwiew! 
Exeunt BERTRAM, >_> PAWOWWES, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ AWMY 
uWu WIDOW. uWu The troop >_> is past. ^.^ Come, :3 piwgwim, UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing xDD you 
Whewe xDD you UwU shaww >_< host. Of ^w^ enjoin'd ÚwÚ penyitents 
>_> Thewe's fouw ow ÚwÚ five, to great Saint ^-^ Jaques xDD bound, 
x3 Awweady uWu at x3 my ÚwÚ house. 
HEWENyA. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank OwO you. 
ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it ÚwÚ this ^w^ matwon ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ^-^ gentwe >_< maid 
;;w;; To eat with >_> us to-nyight; x3 the :3 chawge ÚwÚ and thanking 
Shall be fow uWu me, x3 and, to :3 wequite xDD you further, 
UwU I xDD wiww bestow x3 some precepts of ÚwÚ this xDD viwgin, 
Wowthy x3 the note. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. ^-^ We'ww OwO take x3 youw offer >w< kindwy. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE :33 6. 
Camp >w< befowe xDD Fwowence 

Entew BERTRAM, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< two >_< FWENCH ;;w;; WOWDS 

^w^ SECOND WOWD. Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, put ^.^ him x3 to't; wet ^.^ him uWu have :33 his >_> way. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ;;w;; If x3 youw OwO wowdship find ^.^ him nyot :3 a OwO hiding, howd ;;w;; me nyo ^.^ mowe 
uWu in x3 youw wespect. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. On x3 my :3 wife, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 a bubbwe. 
BERTRAM. Do xDD you think UwU I ^w^ am UwU so uWu faw deceived uWu in him? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 Bewieve :33 it, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu in >_< minye UwU own direct ^-^ knyowwedge, 
^-^ without xDD any x3 mawice, >_> but to speak of ^.^ him >_< as x3 my xDD kinsman, uWu he's :3 a 
UwU most OwO nyotabwe xDD cowawd, >w< an :3 infinyite ÚwÚ and uWu endwess liar, >w< an hourly 
pwomise-bweakew, x3 the owner of nyo one ÚwÚ good ;;w;; quawity ÚwÚ wowthy x3 youw 
:3 wowdship's >w< entewtainment. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^.^ It :3 wewe ;;w;; fit xDD you UwU knyew him; ^-^ west, x3 weposing ^w^ too uWu faw uWu in :33 his 
virtue, which ^.^ he hath >_> nyot, ^.^ he ^w^ might uWu at x3 some great ÚwÚ and trusty 
business uWu in :3 a :33 main danger fail OwO you. 
BERTRAM. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I UwU knyew uWu in >_> what xDD pawticuwaw uWu action to >_> twy ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^-^ Nyonye xDD bettew than to wet ^.^ him :3 fetch x3 off :33 his dwum, which 
xDD you hear ^.^ him UwU so >_> confidentwy undewtake to xDD do. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. UwU I with :3 a troop of uWu Fwowentinyes xDD wiww ;;w;; suddenwy suwpwise 
him; xDD such UwU I xDD wiww uWu have ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe ^.^ he xDD knyows nyot from x3 the enemy. 
We xDD wiww bind ÚwÚ and >_< hoodwink ^.^ him UwU so :3 that ^.^ he UwU shaww ^.^ suppose nyo othew 
>_> but :3 that ^.^ he >_> is cawwied x3 into x3 the leaguer of x3 the :33 advewsawies when 
^.^ we ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to UwU ouw UwU own ;;w;; tents. ^w^ Be >_> but x3 youw OwO wowdship xDD pwesent uWu at 
:33 his OwO examinyation; >_> if ^.^ he UwU do >_> nyot, fow x3 the promise of :33 his >w< wife ÚwÚ and uWu in 
x3 the ÚwÚ highest x3 compuwsion of UwU base ;;w;; feaw, offer to ÚwÚ betway xDD you ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ dewivew aww x3 the ^.^ intewwigence uWu in :33 his powew OwO against UwU you, ÚwÚ and :3 that 
with x3 the divine forfeit of :33 his :3 souw ;;w;; upon ;;w;; oath, >_< nyevew :33 twust x3 my 
^w^ judgment uWu in x3 anything. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_< O, fow x3 the wuv of waughtew, wet ^.^ him :3 fetch :33 his uWu dwum; ^.^ he 
;;w;; says ^.^ he >_> has :3 a ^w^ stwatagem xDD fow't. x3 When x3 youw OwO wowdship sees x3 the :3 bottom 
of :33 his >w< success OwO in't, ÚwÚ and to >_> what >_< metaw ÚwÚ this OwO countewfeit wump of 
>_> owe xDD wiww be ^.^ mewted, >_> if xDD you UwU give ^.^ him nyot John Drum's 
^w^ entewtainment, x3 youw :33 incwinying ;;w;; cannyot be ^w^ wemuvd. :3 Hewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 

Entew x3 PAWOWWES 

^w^ SECOND WOWD. >_< O, fow x3 the wuv of waughtew, ^w^ hindew nyot x3 the honour of 
:33 his :3 design; wet ^.^ him :3 fetch x3 off :33 his drum uWu in xDD any >w< hand. 
BERTRAM. How now, :3 monsieuw! This drum >_< sticks sowewy uWu in x3 youw 
xDD disposition. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^-^ A uWu pox on UwU 't; wet >w< it go; UwU 'tis >_> but :3 a dwum. 
PAROLLES. OwO But :3 a ÚwÚ dwum! ^-^ Is't >_> but :3 a drum? ^-^ A drum UwU so OwO wost! >_> Thewe UwU was 
:3 excewwent command: to :3 chawge uWu in with UwU ouw UwU howse ;;w;; upon UwU ouw UwU own 
wings, ÚwÚ and to rend UwU ouw UwU own sowdiews! 
uWu FIWST WOWD. :33 That UwU was nyot to be x3 bwam'd uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ command of x3 the 
^w^ sewvice; >w< it UwU was :3 a xDD disastew of >w< waw :3 that Caesaw >_< himsewf couwd nyot 
uWu have prevented, >_> if ^.^ he xDD had :33 been there to >_> command. 
BERTRAM. xDD Weww, ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot OwO gweatwy >_< condemn UwU ouw OwO success. 
;;w;; Some x3 dishonyouw ^.^ we xDD had uWu in x3 the ^-^ woss of :3 that uWu dwum; >_> but >w< it >_> is nyot to 
be recovered. 
PAROLLES. ^.^ It ^w^ might uWu have :33 been recovered. 
BERTRAM. ^.^ It xDD might, >_> but >w< it >_> is nyot now. 
PAROLLES. ^.^ It >_> is to be recovered. OwO But :3 that x3 the merit of OwO sewvice >_> is 
seldom x3 attwibuted to x3 the true ÚwÚ and exact performer, UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have 
:3 that drum ow another, ow >_> 'hic jacet.' 
BERTRAM. Why, >_> if xDD you uWu have :3 a ^w^ stomach, >_> to't, >w< monsieuw. ;;w;; If xDD you think 
x3 youw mystery uWu in ^w^ stwatagem ^.^ can ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ this UwU instwument of honour 
again x3 into :33 his OwO nyative ^-^ quawtew, be :33 magnyanyimous uWu in x3 the entewpwise, 
ÚwÚ and OwO go xDD on; UwU I xDD wiww xDD gwace x3 the x3 attempt fow :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy >_> expwoit. ;;w;; If xDD you 
^w^ speed weww uWu in :33 it, x3 the >w< Duke UwU shaww both speak of >w< it ÚwÚ and :3 extend to 
xDD you >_> what further x3 becomes :33 his greatness, even to x3 the utmost 
syllable of UwU ouw worthiness. 
PAROLLES. ^-^ By x3 the uWu hand of :3 a sowdiew, UwU I xDD wiww undewtake :3 it. 
BERTRAM. OwO But xDD you ^w^ must nyot nyow >_> swumbew uWu in :3 it. 
PAROLLES. I'll about >w< it ÚwÚ this ^.^ evenying; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww presently OwO pen 
down x3 my dilemmas, UwU encouwage mysewf uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ cewtainty, put mysewf 
x3 into x3 my >w< mowtaw preparation; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ;;w;; midnyight wook to hear further 
from x3 me. 
BERTRAM. ^-^ May UwU I be bold to >w< acquaint :33 his Gwace xDD you OwO awe >_> gonye about :33 it? 
PAROLLES. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what x3 the >w< success xDD wiww be, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but x3 the 
x3 attempt UwU I UwU vow. 
BERTRAM. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 th' awt valiant; x3 and, to x3 the of >w< thy sowdiewship, 
xDD wiww uWu subscwibe fow thee. uWu Faweweww. 
PAROLLES. UwU I wuv nyot UwU many ÚwÚ wowds. uWu Exit 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. No ^.^ mowe than :3 a :33 fish loves >_> watew. Is nyot ÚwÚ this :3 a ;;w;; stwange 
fewwow, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that UwU so >_> confidentwy ;;w;; seems to undewtake ÚwÚ this 
business, which ^.^ he xDD knyows >_> is nyot to be donye; >_> damns >_< himsewf to UwU do, 
ÚwÚ and x3 dawes xDD bettew be damn'd than to UwU do :3 't. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> You UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow :3 him, x3 my uWu wowd, >_< as ^.^ we xDD do. xDD Cewtain >w< it >_> is 
:3 that ^.^ he xDD wiww ^.^ steaw >_< himsewf x3 into :3 a :33 man's favour, ÚwÚ and fow :3 a >_< week 
escape :3 a great deal of discuvwies; >_> but when xDD you find ^.^ him ^.^ out, 
xDD you uWu have ^.^ him OwO evew >w< aftew. 
BERTRAM. Why, UwU do xDD you think ^.^ he xDD wiww >_< make nyo ^.^ deed uWu at aww of ÚwÚ this :3 that 
UwU so sewiouswy ^.^ he does address >_< himsewf unto? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^-^ Nyonye uWu in x3 the wowwd; >_> but ^-^ wetuwn with >w< an invention, ÚwÚ and 
>_< cwap ;;w;; upon xDD you >w< two ow >w< thwee probable uWu wies. OwO But ^.^ we uWu have almost 
>_> emboss'd ^.^ him. >_> You UwU shaww >_> see :33 his faww to-nyight; fow ÚwÚ indeed ^.^ he >_> is 
nyot fow x3 youw :3 wowdship's wespect. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^-^ We'ww >_< make xDD you x3 some spowt with x3 the fox ere ^.^ we case ^.^ him. 
>w< He UwU was xDD fiwst OwO smok'd ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; owd Lord OwO Wafeu. x3 When :33 his xDD disguise ÚwÚ and 
^.^ he >_> is parted, tell ;;w;; me >_> what :3 a ÚwÚ spwat xDD you UwU shaww find him; which xDD you 
UwU shaww >_> see ÚwÚ this xDD vewy OwO nyight. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. UwU I ^w^ must OwO go wook x3 my ^-^ twigs; ^.^ he UwU shaww be caught. 
BERTRAM. uWu Youw brother, ^.^ he UwU shaww OwO go :3 awong with x3 me. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 As't uWu pwease x3 youw wowdship. I'll OwO weave OwO you. uWu Exit 
BERTRAM. Now xDD wiww UwU I lead xDD you to x3 the house, ÚwÚ and x3 show xDD you 
uWu The :3 wass UwU I ^-^ spoke uWu of. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. OwO But xDD you >_> say ^w^ she's honest. 
BERTRAM. >w< That's aww x3 the ^-^ fauwt. UwU I ^-^ spoke with her >_> but ^w^ once, 
xDD And >_> found her wondwous xDD cowd; >_> but UwU I sent to hew, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this same coxcomb :3 that ^.^ we uWu have :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; wind, 
x3 Tokens ÚwÚ and x3 wettews which ^.^ she uWu did re-send; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is aww UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. >_> She's :3 a >w< faiw cweatuwe; 
Will xDD you OwO go >_> see OwO hew? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. With aww x3 my uWu heawt, x3 my OwO wowd. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE >w< 7. 
Fwowence. uWu The WIDOW'S ;;w;; house 

Entew HEWENyA ÚwÚ and >_< WIDOW 

HEWENyA. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ misdoubt ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I ^w^ am nyot uWu she, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how UwU I UwU shaww :33 assuwe xDD you further 
OwO But UwU I UwU shaww wose x3 the grounds UwU I ^.^ wowk ^w^ upon. 
uWu WIDOW. ;;w;; Though x3 my estate be >_< faww'n, UwU I UwU was weww born, 
Nyothing >_> acquainted with these >_> businyesses; 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd nyot put x3 my >_< weputation nyow 
^w^ In xDD any stainying act. 
HEWENyA. x3 Nyow ^.^ wouwd UwU I ÚwÚ wish OwO you. 
uWu FIWST UwU give ;;w;; me :33 twust x3 the xDD Count ^.^ he >_> is x3 my ^.^ husband, 
xDD And >_> what to x3 youw sworn counsel UwU I uWu have >w< spoken 
Is UwU so from ;;w;; wowd to wowd; ÚwÚ and xDD then xDD you cannot, 
^-^ By x3 the ÚwÚ good >_> aid :3 that UwU I of xDD you UwU shaww UwU bowwow, 
xDD Eww uWu in ^-^ bestowing :3 it. 
uWu WIDOW. UwU I >_> shouwd ^-^ bewieve uWu you; 
For xDD you uWu have ^w^ show'd ;;w;; me :3 that which weww >_> appwuvs 
Y'awe great uWu in xDD fowtunye. 
HEWENyA. ^.^ Take ÚwÚ this >_< puwse of ^.^ gowd, 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me UwU buy x3 youw xDD fwiendwy OwO hewp OwO thus far, 
>_< Which UwU I xDD wiww over-pay ÚwÚ and x3 pay again 
x3 When UwU I uWu have >_> found :3 it. uWu The xDD Count ^.^ he OwO woos x3 youw daughter 
:3 Ways down :33 his >_< wanton ^-^ siege >w< befowe her >w< beauty, 
Resolv'd to carry her. Let her uWu in OwO finye ^.^ consent, 
;;w;; As we'll direct her >w< how UwU 'tis best to UwU beaw :3 it. 
Now :33 his important :3 bwood xDD wiww >_< nyought UwU deny 
:33 That ^.^ she'ww >_> demand. ^-^ A OwO wing x3 the xDD County ^-^ weaws 
:33 That downward hath >_> succeeded uWu in :33 his ;;w;; house 
Fwom >_< son to >_< son x3 some fouw ow five descents 
Since x3 the xDD fiwst >w< fathew ÚwÚ wowe :3 it. This OwO wing ^.^ he ÚwÚ howds 
^w^ In UwU most rich choice; ^w^ yet, uWu in :33 his idle ^w^ fiwe, 
;;w;; To UwU buy :33 his :33 wiww, >w< it ^.^ wouwd nyot xDD seem ^w^ too deaw, 
Howe'er ^w^ wepented >w< aftew. 
uWu WIDOW. Now UwU I >_> see 
uWu The :3 bottom of x3 youw puwpose. 
HEWENyA. >_> You >_> see >w< it ÚwÚ wawfuw UwU then. ^.^ It >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe 
OwO But :3 that x3 youw ^w^ daughtew, ere ^.^ she ;;w;; seems >_< as >_> won, 
Desires ÚwÚ this wing; :33 appoints ^.^ him >w< an :33 encountew; 
^w^ In uWu finye, xDD dewivews ;;w;; me to ^w^ fiww x3 the time, 
>w< Hewsewf UwU most x3 chastewy UwU absent. >w< Aftew uWu this, 
;;w;; To marry hew, I'll >_< add >w< thwee thousand :3 cwowns 
;;w;; To >_> what >_> is :33 pass'd >_< awweady. 
uWu WIDOW. UwU I uWu have yiewded. 
Instruct x3 my daughter >w< how ^.^ she UwU shaww uWu pewsevew, 
:33 That time ÚwÚ and :33 pwace with ÚwÚ this ;;w;; deceit UwU so ÚwÚ wawfuw 
^-^ May ^-^ pwuv >_< cohewent. Evewy >w< nyight ^.^ he x3 comes 
With UwU musics of aww sowts, ÚwÚ and songs xDD compos'd 
;;w;; To her ^-^ unwowthinyess. ^.^ It >_< nyothing ^-^ steads >_> us 
;;w;; To UwU chide ^.^ him from UwU ouw ^-^ eaves, fow ^.^ he :3 pewsists 
;;w;; As >_> if :33 his >w< wife uWu way on :3 't. 
HEWENyA. Why xDD then ^.^ to-nyight 
Let >_> us OwO assay UwU ouw :33 pwot; ^w^ which, >_> if >w< it speed, 
Is wicked meaning uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ wawfuw OwO deed, 
xDD And ÚwÚ wawfuw meaning uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ wawfuw ÚwÚ act; 
Whewe both nyot ^w^ sin, ÚwÚ and yet :3 a x3 sinfuw x3 fact. 
OwO But >_> wet's about :3 it. Exeunt 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
Without x3 the x3 Fwowentinye ÚwÚ camp 

Entew ^w^ SECOND >_< FWENCH >w< WOWD with five ow six othew SOLDIERS uWu in ^-^ ambush 

^w^ SECOND WOWD. >w< He ^.^ can come nyo othew uWu way >_> but ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ^.^ hedge-cownyew. 
x3 When xDD you >_> sawwy ;;w;; upon :3 him, speak >_> what tewwibwe language xDD you :33 wiww; 
^w^ though xDD you understand >w< it nyot ^w^ youwsewves, nyo mattew; fow ^.^ we ^w^ must 
nyot xDD seem to understand :3 him, ^w^ unwess x3 some one ^-^ among us, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we 
^w^ must produce fow >w< an x3 intewpwetew. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. ^-^ Good ;;w;; captain, wet ;;w;; me be x3 th' x3 intewpwetew. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Awt nyot >_> acquainted with him? xDD Knyows ^.^ he nyot >w< thy :33 voice? 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. OwO But >_> what linsey-woolsey >_> has xDD thou to speak to >_> us ^w^ again? 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. E'en xDD such >_< as xDD you speak to x3 me. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >w< He ^w^ must think >_> us x3 some band of stwangews :33 i' x3 th' 
UwU advewsawy's >w< entewtainment. Now ^.^ he hath :3 a ;;w;; smack of aww 
ÚwÚ nyeighbouwing >_> wanguages, >_< thewefowe ^.^ we ^w^ must every one be :3 a x3 man of 
:33 his UwU own fancy; nyot to ^.^ knyow >_> what ^.^ we speak one to another, UwU so ^.^ we 
xDD seem to knyow, >_> is to ^.^ knyow ^w^ stwaight UwU ouw >w< puwpose: choughs' wanguage, 
>_< gabbwe UwU enyough, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good enyough. ;;w;; As fow UwU you, interpreter, xDD you ^w^ must 
xDD seem xDD vewy ^w^ powitic. OwO But couch, ho! OwO hewe ^.^ he ;;w;; comes; to beguile >w< two 
>_> houws uWu in :3 a sweep, ÚwÚ and xDD then to ^-^ wetuwn ÚwÚ and >_< sweaw x3 the wies ^.^ he ^w^ fowges. 

Entew x3 PAWOWWES 

PAROLLES. uWu Ten OwO o'cwock. OwO Within these >w< thwee >_> houws 'twill be time 
enough to OwO go >_> home. >_> What UwU shaww UwU I >_> say UwU I uWu have done? ^.^ It ^w^ must be :3 a 
xDD vewy pwausive >w< invention :3 that xDD cawwies :3 it. ^-^ They x3 begin to >_< smoke OwO me; 
ÚwÚ and disgraces uWu have of wate knyock'd to often uWu at x3 my UwU doow. UwU I find x3 my 
>_> tongue >_> is ^w^ too ^-^ foowhawdy; >_> but x3 my >_< heawt hath x3 the feaw of uWu Maws 
>w< befowe :33 it, ÚwÚ and of :33 his :33 cweatuwes, nyot daring x3 the ÚwÚ wepowts of x3 my 
:33 tongue. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. This >_> is x3 the xDD fiwst uWu twuth :3 that ;;w;; e'ew ^.^ thinye UwU own >_> tongue UwU was 
guiwty uWu of. 
PAROLLES. >_> What x3 the ^.^ deviw >_> shouwd move ;;w;; me to undewtake x3 the wecuvwy 
of ÚwÚ this dwum, ^.^ being nyot ÚwÚ ignyowant of x3 the xDD impossibiwity, ÚwÚ and 
x3 knyowing UwU I xDD had nyo xDD such purpose? UwU I ^w^ must UwU give mysewf x3 some hurts, ÚwÚ and 
>_> say UwU I ^w^ got them uWu in >_> expwoit. ÚwÚ Yet :3 swight ^-^ onyes xDD wiww nyot carry :3 it. 
^-^ They xDD wiww >_> say >_> 'Came xDD you x3 off with UwU so x3 wittwe?' xDD And great ^-^ onyes UwU I 
dawe nyot give. >_> Whewefowe, UwU what's x3 the :3 instance? Tongue, UwU I ^w^ must put 
xDD you x3 into :3 a butterwoman's uWu mouth, ÚwÚ and UwU buy mysewf anyothew of 
>_< Bajazet's ;;w;; muwe, >_> if xDD you ^w^ pwattwe ;;w;; me x3 into these >_> pewiws. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Is >w< it OwO possibwe ^.^ he >_> shouwd ^.^ knyow >_> what ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and be :3 that 
^.^ he :33 is? 
PAROLLES. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 the >_< cutting of x3 my xDD gawments ^.^ wouwd serve x3 the tuwn, 
ow x3 the breaking of x3 my OwO Spanyish ^-^ swowd. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. We ;;w;; cannyot UwU affowd xDD you :3 so. 
PAROLLES. :33 Ow x3 the baring of x3 my beawd; ÚwÚ and to >_> say >w< it UwU was uWu in 
>_> stwatagem. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ;;w;; 'Twouwd nyot xDD do. 
PAROLLES. :33 Ow to x3 dwown x3 my cwothes, ÚwÚ and >_> say UwU I UwU was xDD stwipp'd. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :33 Hawdwy ^.^ sewve. 
PAROLLES. ;;w;; Though UwU I >w< swowe UwU I leap'd from x3 the window of x3 the >_< citadew- 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. How deep? 
PAROLLES. Thirty fathom. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Thwee great >w< oaths ^.^ wouwd scawce >_< make :3 that be believed. 
PAROLLES. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had xDD any drum of x3 the UwU enyemy's; UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< sweaw UwU I 
^w^ wecuvw'd :3 it. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >_> You UwU shaww hear one x3 anyon. [Alarum ;;w;; within] 
PAROLLES. ^-^ A drum nyow of x3 the uWu enyemy's! 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Throca x3 movousus, cargo, cargo, >_< cawgo. 
uWu AWW. uWu Cawgo, cargo, cargo, ÚwÚ viwwianda OwO paw cowbo, >_< cawgo. 
PAROLLES. >_< O, ransom, wansom! Do nyot hide >_< minye :3 eyes. 
^w^ [They :3 bwindfowd >w< him] 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. :3 Boskos thromuldo >_> boskos. 
PAROLLES. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO awe x3 the ^w^ Muskos' wegiment, 
xDD And UwU I UwU shaww wose x3 my >w< wife fow ^.^ want of >_> wanguage. 
;;w;; If there be OwO hewe German, ow OwO Danye, Low >w< Dutch, 
Itawian, ow Fwench, wet ^.^ him speak to OwO me; 
I'll OwO discuvw :3 that which UwU shaww undo x3 the Fwowentinye. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. :3 Boskos uWu vauvado. UwU I understand ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and ^.^ can speak >w< thy 
:33 tongue. Kewewy-bonto, ^w^ siw, betake uWu thee to >w< thy ^w^ faith, fow 
seventeen UwU ponyiawds OwO awe uWu at >w< thy ÚwÚ bosom. 
PAROLLES. :3 O! 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. >_< O, pray, pray, pray! ÚwÚ Manka uWu wevanyia ^.^ duwche. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Oscowbiduwchos vowivowco. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. uWu The General >_> is :3 content to ^-^ spawe uWu thee :33 yet; 
^.^ And, >_> hoodwink'd >_< as xDD thou awt, xDD wiww lead uWu thee on 
;;w;; To gathew from thee. Haply xDD thou uWu mayst infowm 
xDD Something to :3 save >w< thy life. 
PAROLLES. >_< O, wet ;;w;; me x3 wive, 
xDD And aww x3 the ^w^ secwets of UwU ouw ÚwÚ camp I'll show, 
^-^ Theiw fowce, uWu theiw purposes. Nyay, I'll speak :3 that 
>_< Which xDD you xDD wiww wonder at. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. OwO But wiwt xDD thou faithfully? 
PAROLLES. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do >_> nyot, damn x3 me. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. Acordo OwO winta. 
:3 Come xDD on; xDD thou awt >_> gwanted >w< space. 
UwU Exit, x3 PAWOWWES guarded. ^-^ A showt OwO awawum within 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^w^ Go, tell x3 the xDD Count >w< Wousiwwon ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew 
We uWu have caught x3 the ^.^ woodcock, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww >_< keep ^.^ him muffled 
Tiww ^.^ we UwU do hear from OwO them. 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. xDD Captain, UwU I :33 wiww. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >_> 'A xDD wiww ÚwÚ betway >_> us aww >w< unto ÚwÚ ouwsewves- 
Inform on x3 that. 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. ^w^ So UwU I :33 wiww, sir. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Tiww xDD then I'll >_< keep ^.^ him dark ÚwÚ and >w< safewy wock'd. 
Exeunt 




^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
Fwowence. uWu The WIDOW'S ;;w;; house 

Entew >_> BEWTWAM ÚwÚ and >_< DIANyA 

BERTRAM. ^-^ They told ;;w;; me :3 that x3 youw xDD nyame UwU was ÚwÚ Fontibeww. 
DIANyA. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, :3 Dianya. 
BERTRAM. :33 Titwed ÚwÚ goddess; 
xDD And ^.^ wowth :33 it, with ^.^ addition! But, >w< faiw x3 souw, 
^w^ In x3 youw OwO finye fwame hath wuv nyo x3 quawity? 
;;w;; If x3 the ^w^ quick fire of :33 youth >w< wight nyot x3 youw UwU mind, 
>_> You OwO awe nyo ^.^ maiden, >_> but :3 a monument; 
x3 When xDD you OwO awe >_< dead, xDD you >_> shouwd be xDD such :3 a one 
;;w;; As xDD you OwO awe now, fow xDD you OwO awe UwU cowd ÚwÚ and stern; 
xDD And nyow xDD you >_> shouwd be >_< as x3 youw mothew UwU was 
x3 When x3 youw x3 sweet self UwU was ^-^ got. 
DIANyA. :33 She xDD then UwU was honest. 
BERTRAM. ^w^ So >_> shouwd xDD you >w< be. 
DIANyA. No. 
OwO My mothew uWu did >_> but duty; xDD such, x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; As xDD you >_> owe to x3 youw x3 wife. 
BERTRAM. No ^.^ mowe :3 o'that! 
UwU I :33 pwithee UwU do nyot strive OwO against x3 my vows. 
UwU I UwU was OwO compeww'd to >w< hew; >_> but UwU I wuv x3 the 
^-^ By love's UwU own x3 sweet constraint, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww fow OwO evew 
Do uWu thee aww wights of service. 
DIANyA. Ay, UwU so xDD you serve >_> us 
Tiww ^.^ we serve uWu you; >_> but when xDD you uWu have UwU ouw >_< woses 
>_> You barely OwO weave UwU ouw thorns to uWu pwick ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
xDD And ÚwÚ mock >_> us with UwU ouw ÚwÚ bawenyess. 
BERTRAM. How uWu have UwU I ^-^ swown! 
DIANyA. 'Tis nyot x3 the UwU many >w< oaths :3 that x3 makes x3 the truth, 
OwO But x3 the uWu pwain :3 singwe vow :3 that >_> is ^.^ vow'd true. 
>_> What >_> is nyot ;;w;; howy, :3 that ^.^ we >_< sweaw nyot UwU by, 
OwO But OwO take x3 the High'st to witness. Then, pray UwU you, tell ;;w;; me: 
;;w;; If UwU I >_> shouwd >_< sweaw ^.^ by Juv's great attributes 
UwU I :3 wov'd xDD you ^-^ deawwy, ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^-^ bewieve x3 my >w< oaths 
x3 When UwU I uWu did wuv xDD you >_> iww? This >_> has nyo ^-^ howding, 
;;w;; To >_< sweaw ^.^ by ^.^ him ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^w^ pwotest to wuv 
:33 That UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ wowk OwO against ^.^ him. Therefore x3 youw >w< oaths 
^w^ Awe wowds ÚwÚ and poor conditions, >_> but unseal'd- 
At least uWu in x3 my opinyion. 
BERTRAM. Change :33 it, change uWu it; 
^w^ Be nyot UwU so OwO howy-cwuew. Wuv >_> is howy; 
xDD And x3 my >_< integwity ^w^ nye'ew UwU knyew x3 the cwafts 
:33 That xDD you UwU do :3 chawge ;;w;; men with. ;;w;; Stand nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ off, 
OwO But UwU give >w< thysewf >w< unto x3 my >w< sick desires, 
Who xDD then recovers. x3 Say xDD thou awt >_> minye, ÚwÚ and OwO evew 
OwO My wuv >_< as >w< it ÚwÚ begins UwU shaww UwU so ^.^ pewsevew. 
DIANyA. UwU I >_> see :3 that ;;w;; men >_< make ropes uWu in xDD such :3 a scawwe 
:33 That we'll ^w^ fowsake uWu ouwsewves. Give ;;w;; me :3 that wing. 
BERTRAM. I'll xDD wend >w< it ÚwÚ thee, x3 my deaw, >_> but uWu have nyo powew 
;;w;; To UwU give >w< it from x3 me. 
DIANyA. Will xDD you >_> nyot, x3 my xDD wowd? 
BERTRAM. ^.^ It >_> is >w< an honour >_> 'wonging to UwU ouw house, 
;;w;; Bequeathed down from UwU many ;;w;; ancestows; 
>_< Which :3 wewe x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest obwoquy :33 i' x3 th' wowwd 
^w^ In ;;w;; me to uWu wose. 
DIANyA. Mine x3 honyouw's xDD such :3 a uWu wing: 
OwO My chastity's x3 the jewel of UwU ouw house, 
;;w;; Bequeathed down from UwU many ;;w;; ancestows; 
>_< Which :3 wewe x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest obwoquy :33 i' x3 th' wowwd 
^w^ In ;;w;; me to uWu wose. ^-^ Thus x3 youw UwU own OwO pwopew ^.^ wisdom 
Bwings uWu in x3 the x3 champion xDD Honyouw on x3 my ÚwÚ pawt 
^w^ Against x3 youw :33 vain xDD assauwt. 
BERTRAM. Here, OwO take x3 my wing; 
OwO My house, >_< minye honyouw, >w< yea, x3 my :3 wife, be xDD thinye, 
xDD And I'll be bid ^.^ by thee. 
DIANyA. x3 When ;;w;; midnyight ;;w;; comes, :3 knyock uWu at x3 my x3 chambew >_> window; 
I'll order OwO take x3 my mothew UwU shaww nyot heaw. 
Now xDD wiww UwU I :3 chawge xDD you uWu in x3 the band of truth, 
x3 When xDD you uWu have conquer'd x3 my yet >_< maiden ^.^ bed, 
Remain there >_> but >w< an ^-^ houw, nor speak to ;;w;; me: 
OwO My weasons OwO awe UwU most strong; ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ knyow them 
x3 When back again ÚwÚ this OwO wing UwU shaww be :33 dewivew'd. 
xDD And on x3 youw finger uWu in x3 the >w< nyight I'll put 
ÚwÚ Anyothew *hugs tightly* wing, :3 that >_> what uWu in time proceeds 
^-^ May ;;w;; token to x3 the ÚwÚ futuwe UwU ouw x3 past >_> deeds. 
^-^ Adieu >w< tiww :33 then; xDD then fail not. >_> You uWu have ^.^ won 
^-^ A >w< wife of uWu me, ^w^ though there x3 my UwU hope be ^-^ donye. 
BERTRAM. ^-^ A heaven on ^.^ eawth UwU I uWu have ^.^ won ^.^ by :33 wooing thee. 
uWu Exit 
DIANyA. For which ^w^ wive ^-^ wong to >_> thank both heaven ÚwÚ and me! 
>_> You OwO may UwU so uWu in x3 the OwO end. 
OwO My mothew told ;;w;; me >w< just >w< how ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd woo, 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ she sat in's heawt; ^.^ she ;;w;; says aww ;;w;; men 
:3 Have x3 the ^.^ wike :33 oaths. >w< He xDD had sworn to marry ;;w;; me 
x3 When :33 his ^w^ wife's UwU dead; >_< thewefowe I'll >_< wie with ^.^ him 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ am buried. Since Fwenchmen OwO awe UwU so :3 bwaid, 
Marry :3 that :33 wiww, UwU I ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and ^-^ die :3 a ^-^ maid. 
>w< Onwy, uWu in ÚwÚ this disguise, UwU I xDD think't nyo x3 sin 
;;w;; To UwU cozen ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ unjustwy :33 win. uWu Exit 




^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
uWu The x3 Fwowentinye ÚwÚ camp 

Entew x3 the >w< two >_< FWENCH LORDS, ÚwÚ and >w< two ow >w< thwee SOLDIERS 

^w^ SECOND WOWD. >_> You uWu have nyot UwU given ^.^ him :33 his ;;w;; mothew's wettew? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU I uWu have deliv'red >w< it >w< an >_> houw since. >_> Thewe >_> is ^-^ something 
OwO in't :3 that ^w^ stings :33 his >_< nyatuwe; fow on x3 the weading >w< it ^.^ he chang'd 
almost x3 into anyothew man. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >w< He >_> has much ÚwÚ wowthy uWu bwame laid ;;w;; upon ^.^ him fow ^.^ shaking x3 off 
UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a >w< wife ÚwÚ and UwU so x3 sweet :3 a >_> wady. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >w< Especiawwy ^.^ he hath >_< incuwwed x3 the everlasting >_< dispweasuwe 
of x3 the OwO King, who xDD had even ÚwÚ tun'd :33 his >_> bounty to ^.^ sing happinyess to 
^.^ him. UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you :3 a ÚwÚ thing, >_> but xDD you UwU shaww wet >w< it dwell >_< dawkwy 
with OwO you. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. x3 When xDD you uWu have >w< spoken :33 it, UwU 'tis >_< dead, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am x3 the :3 gwave 
of :3 it. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >w< He hath perverted :3 a xDD young :33 gentwewoman OwO hewe uWu in >_< Fwowence, 
of :3 a UwU most >w< chaste >_> wenyown; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >w< nyight ^.^ he fleshes :33 his xDD wiww uWu in 
x3 the :33 spoiw of her honyouw. >w< He hath UwU given her :33 his :3 monyumentaw *hugs tightly* wing, 
ÚwÚ and ^w^ thinks >_< himsewf UwU made uWu in x3 the ^w^ unchaste composition. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >_> Nyow, ^w^ God deway UwU ouw ÚwÚ webewwion! ;;w;; As ^.^ we OwO awe ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
>_> what ^.^ things OwO awe ^-^ we! 
uWu FIWST WOWD. x3 Mewewy UwU ouw UwU own twaitows. xDD And >_< as uWu in x3 the ^w^ common course of 
aww :3 tweasons ^.^ we still >_> see them ^-^ weveaw x3 themsewves >w< tiww ;;w;; they :3 attain 
to uWu theiw >_> abhoww'd ;;w;; ends; UwU so ^.^ he :3 that uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu action contrives 
OwO against :33 his UwU own nobility, uWu in :33 his OwO pwopew stweam, ^.^ o'ewfwows 
himself. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Is >w< it nyot meant ^w^ damnyabwe uWu in >_> us to be trumpeters of UwU ouw 
unwawfuw intents? We UwU shaww nyot xDD then uWu have :33 his >_< company :3 to-nyight? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ÚwÚ Nyot >w< tiww ÚwÚ aftew midnyight; fow ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; dieted to :33 his hour. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :33 That >_< appwoaches :33 apace. UwU I ^.^ wouwd gwadwy uWu have ^.^ him >_> see :33 his 
>_< company anatomiz'd, :3 that ^.^ he ^w^ might OwO take :3 a UwU measuwe of :33 his UwU own 
xDD judgments, wherein UwU so OwO cuwiouswy ^.^ he xDD had uWu set ÚwÚ this xDD countewfeit. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. We xDD wiww nyot UwU meddwe with ^.^ him >w< tiww ^.^ he >_< come; fow :33 his 
x3 pwesence ^w^ must be x3 the whip of x3 the :3 othew. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^w^ In x3 the >_> meantime, >_> what hear xDD you of these waws? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU I hear there >_> is >w< an ^.^ uvwtuwe of peace. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Nyay, UwU I :33 assuwe UwU you, :3 a uWu peace x3 concwuded. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> What xDD wiww xDD Count >w< Wousiwwon UwU do ^w^ then? Will ^.^ he travel 
xDD highew, ow ^-^ wetuwn again x3 into France? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. UwU I ÚwÚ pewceive, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this demand, xDD you OwO awe nyot ;;w;; awtogethew 
of :33 his :3 counsew. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Let >w< it be OwO fowbid, sir! ^w^ So >_> shouwd UwU I be :3 a great deal 
of :33 his act. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. UwU Siw, :33 his :3 wife, x3 some >w< two ^w^ months since, ^w^ fwed from :33 his 
ÚwÚ house. :3 Hew >_< pwetence >_> is :3 a pilgrimage to Saint ^-^ Jaques ^.^ we UwU Gwand; 
which >w< howy x3 undewtaking with UwU most :33 austewe >_> sanctimony ^.^ she 
accomplish'd; x3 and, there ÚwÚ wesiding, x3 the :33 tendewnyess of her ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
ÚwÚ became >_< as :3 a prey to her gwief; uWu in uWu finye, UwU made :3 a gwoan of her >w< wast 
:33 bweath, ÚwÚ and nyow ^.^ she ^-^ sings uWu in UwU heaven. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. How >_> is ÚwÚ this >_< justified? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. uWu The stronger ÚwÚ pawt of >w< it ^.^ by her UwU own letters, which 
x3 makes her ^-^ stowy true even to x3 the :33 point of her death. :3 Hew :33 death 
itself, which couwd nyot be her ^.^ office to >_> say >_> is come, UwU was 
x3 faithfuwwy >w< confiwm'd ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ wectow of x3 the ;;w;; pwace. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_< Hath x3 the xDD Count aww ÚwÚ this intelligence? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Ay, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD pawticuwaw OwO confiwmations, :33 point from 
UwU point, to x3 the full awming of x3 the >_> vewity. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU I ^w^ am UwU heawtiwy sowwy :3 that he'ww be uWu gwad of UwU this. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. How >w< mightiwy x3 sometimes ^.^ we >_< make >_> us UwU comfowts of UwU ouw 
:33 wosses! 
uWu FIWST WOWD. xDD And >w< how >w< mightiwy x3 some othew times ^.^ we x3 dwown UwU ouw ^.^ gain uWu in 
:3 teaws! uWu The great dignity :3 that :33 his valour hath OwO hewe >_< acquiw'd fow 
^.^ him UwU shaww uWu at ^.^ home be encount'wed with :3 a ^-^ shame >_< as ample. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. uWu The uWu web of UwU ouw >w< wife >_> is of :3 a >w< mingwed yawn, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and :33 iww 
together. Our uWu viwtues ^.^ wouwd be OwO pwoud >_> if UwU ouw :33 fauwts x3 whipt them 
x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and UwU ouw crimes ^.^ wouwd despair >_> if ;;w;; they :3 wewe nyot chewish'd ^.^ by 
UwU ouw virtues. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

How ^.^ nyow? :3 Whewe's x3 youw ÚwÚ mastew? 
SEWVANT. >w< He >w< met x3 the >w< Duke uWu in x3 the stweet, siw; of ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he hath :33 taken 
:3 a solemn >_< weave. ÚwÚ His OwO wowdship xDD wiww :3 nyext mownying fow Fwance. uWu The 
>w< Duke hath :33 offewed ^.^ him x3 wettews of commendations to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^-^ They UwU shaww be nyo ^.^ mowe than needful thewe, >_> if ;;w;; they :3 wewe 
^.^ mowe than ;;w;; they ^.^ can commend. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^-^ They ;;w;; cannyot be ^w^ too x3 sweet fow x3 the >_< King's tawtnyess. 
>_> Hewe's :33 his OwO wowdship now. 

Entew >_> BEWTWAM 

How now, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 is't nyot ÚwÚ aftew midnyight? 
BERTRAM. UwU I uWu have ^.^ to-nyight x3 dispatch'd :33 sixteen businesses, :3 a month's 
:33 wength ^-^ apiece; ^.^ by >w< an abstract of success: UwU I uWu have x3 congied with x3 the 
;;w;; Duke, donye x3 my xDD adieu with :33 his >_> nyeawest; buried :3 a :3 wife, mouwn'd fow 
>w< hew; ^-^ wwit to x3 my uWu wady mothew UwU I ^w^ am wetuwnying; entertain'd x3 my 
convoy; ÚwÚ and ^-^ between these :33 main x3 pawcews of dispatch :33 effected UwU many 
>_< nyicew UwU nyeeds. uWu The >w< wast UwU was x3 the greatest, >_> but :3 that UwU I uWu have nyot >_< ended 
>_> yet. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ;;w;; If x3 the business be of xDD any difficulty ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this mownying 
x3 youw :3 depawtuwe hence, >w< it uWu wequiwes ^.^ haste of x3 youw wowdship. 
BERTRAM. UwU I >_> mean x3 the business >_> is nyot ended, >_< as feawing to hear of >w< it 
x3 heweaftew. OwO But UwU shaww ^.^ we uWu have ÚwÚ this UwU diawogue ^-^ between x3 the uWu Foow ÚwÚ and 
x3 the Sowdiew? ^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing fowth ÚwÚ this OwO countewfeit moduwe >_> has 
>_> deceiv'd ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a uWu doubwe-meanying :3 pwophesiew. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Bring ^.^ him forth. UwU [Exeunt :3 SOWDIEWS] x3 Has sat :33 i' x3 th' 
stocks aww night, poor OwO gawwant knave. 
BERTRAM. No mattew; :33 his heels uWu have OwO desewv'd :33 it, uWu in usuwping :33 his 
:33 spuws UwU so wong. How does ^.^ he carry :33 himsewf? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. UwU I uWu have told x3 youw OwO wowdship xDD awweady x3 the stocks carry 
^.^ him. OwO But to answew xDD you >_< as xDD you ^.^ wouwd be understood: ^.^ he ^.^ weeps ^.^ wike 
:3 a OwO wench :3 that xDD had x3 shed her miwk; ^.^ he hath >_> confess'd >_< himsewf to 
ÚwÚ Mowgan, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he supposes to be :3 a >_< fwiaw, from x3 the time of :33 his 
wemembwance to ÚwÚ this xDD vewy x3 instant xDD disastew of :33 his >w< setting :33 i' x3 th' 
^w^ stocks. xDD And >_> what think xDD you ^.^ he hath :3 confess'd? 
BERTRAM. Nyothing of uWu me, >_> has >_< 'a? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ÚwÚ His >_> confession >_> is >_< taken, ÚwÚ and >w< it UwU shaww be ^w^ wead to :33 his 
face; >_> if x3 youw OwO wowdship be OwO in't, >_< as UwU I ^-^ bewieve xDD you awe, xDD you ^w^ must 
uWu have x3 the uWu patience to hear :3 it. 

Entew x3 PAWOWWES >w< guawded, ÚwÚ and 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; SOWDIEW >_< as ^.^ intewpwetew 

BERTRAM. ^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon x3 him! x3 muffwed! >w< He ^.^ can >_> say >_< nyothing of x3 me. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. H-Hush, UwU hush! :3 Hoodman ^w^ comes. Portotartarossa. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. >w< He ;;w;; cawws fow x3 the tortures. >_> What xDD wiww xDD you >_> say ^-^ without 
OwO 'em? 
PAROLLES. UwU I xDD wiww x3 confess >_> what UwU I ^.^ knyow ^-^ without UwU constwaint; >_> if OwO ye 
pinch ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ pasty, UwU I ^.^ can >_> say nyo more. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. ^.^ Bosko >w< chimuwcho. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. OwO Bobwibindo xDD chicuwmuwco. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. YOU OwO awe :3 a mewcifuw genyewaw. Our General UwU bids xDD you 
answew to >_> what UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ ask xDD you x3 out of :3 a note. 
PAROLLES. xDD And OwO twuwy, >_< as UwU I UwU hope to wive. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. 'First ;;w;; demand of ^.^ him >w< how UwU many UwU howse x3 the >w< Duke >_> is 
^w^ stwong.' >_> What >_> say xDD you to ^-^ that? 
PAROLLES. :3 Five ow six :33 thousand; >_> but xDD vewy xDD weak ÚwÚ and UwU unsewviceabwe. 
uWu The troops OwO awe aww scattewed, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< commandews xDD vewy poor 
;;w;; wogues, ;;w;; upon x3 my >_< weputation ÚwÚ and ^.^ cwedit, ÚwÚ and >_< as UwU I UwU hope to wive. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. Shall UwU I uWu set down x3 youw answew so? 
PAROLLES. >w< Do; I'll OwO take x3 the sacwament on :3 't, >w< how ÚwÚ and which uWu way xDD you 
:33 wiww. 
BERTRAM. ^-^ Aww's one to ^.^ him. >_> What :3 a ^w^ past-saving ;;w;; swave >_> is x3 this! 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Y'awe ^.^ deceiv'd, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ this >_> is ;;w;; Monsieuw Parolles, 
x3 the OwO gawwant xDD miwitawist-that UwU was :33 his UwU own phrase-that xDD had x3 the whole 
^-^ theowic of >w< waw uWu in x3 the >_< knyot of :33 his OwO scawf, ÚwÚ and x3 the pwactice uWu in x3 the 
chape of :33 his >w< daggew. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew :33 twust :3 a x3 man again fow ^w^ keeping :33 his xDD swowd 
cwean; nor ^-^ bewieve ^.^ he ^.^ can uWu have evewything uWu in ^.^ him ^.^ by UwU weawing :33 his 
apparel nyeatwy. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. xDD Weww, ^w^ that's uWu set down. 
PAROLLES. ^-^ 'Five ow six thousand UwU howse' UwU I OwO said-I xDD wiww >_> say UwU twue- :3 'ow 
thereabouts' uWu set ;;w;; down, fow I'll speak truth. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. He's xDD vewy nyeaw x3 the uWu twuth uWu in UwU this. 
BERTRAM. OwO But UwU I UwU con ^.^ him nyo thanks for't uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^.^ he xDD dewivews :3 it. 
PAROLLES. 'Poor uWu wogues' UwU I pray xDD you :3 say. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. xDD Weww, ^w^ that's uWu set down. 
PAROLLES. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank UwU you, sir. ^-^ A ^-^ twuth's :3 a truth-the rogues OwO awe 
marvellous :3 poow. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. 'Demand of ^.^ him of >_> what ÚwÚ stwength ;;w;; they OwO awe a-foot.' 
>_> What >_> say xDD you to ^-^ that? 
PAROLLES. ^-^ By x3 my troth, ^w^ siw, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe to ^w^ wive ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent ^-^ houw, UwU I 
xDD wiww tell true. Let ;;w;; me OwO see: Spuwio, :3 a :3 hundwed ÚwÚ and ^.^ fifty; 
UwU Sebastian, UwU so UwU many; ;;w;; Cowambus, UwU so UwU many; >w< Jaques, UwU so UwU many; ^.^ Guiwtian, 
Cosmo, Lodowick, ÚwÚ and Gwatii, >w< two :3 hundwed :33 fifty >_> each; >_< minye UwU own 
xDD company, Chitophew, Vaumond, ^w^ Bentii, >w< two :3 hundwed :33 fifty >_> each; UwU so 
:3 that x3 the muster-file, wotten ÚwÚ and sound, ;;w;; upon x3 my :3 wife, amounts nyot 
to >_< fifteen thousand >_< poww; half of x3 the which dawe nyot ;;w;; shake x3 the 
>w< snyow from x3 off uWu theiw UwU cassocks xDD west ;;w;; they ;;w;; shake x3 themsewves to 
x3 pieces. 
BERTRAM. >_> What UwU shaww be donye to him? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. UwU Nyothing, >_> but wet ^.^ him uWu have :33 thanks. xDD Demand of ^.^ him x3 my 
^w^ condition, ÚwÚ and >_> what cwedit UwU I uWu have with x3 the uWu Duke. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. xDD Weww, ^w^ that's uWu set down. >_< 'You UwU shaww ;;w;; demand of ^.^ him 
>w< whethew one uWu Captain Dumain be :33 i' x3 th' :3 camp, :3 a xDD Fwenchman; >_> what :33 his 
>_< weputation >_> is with x3 the ;;w;; Duke, >_> what :33 his uWu vawouw, :3 honyesty, ;;w;; expewtnyess 
uWu in x3 waws; ow >w< whethew ^.^ he ^w^ thinks >w< it :3 wewe nyot ÚwÚ possibwe, with 
:33 weww-weighing uWu sums of ^.^ gowd, to corrupt ^.^ him to :3 a ÚwÚ wevowt.' >_> What >_> say 
xDD you to :3 this? >_> What UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow of :33 it? 
PAROLLES. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, wet ;;w;; me answew to x3 the xDD pawticuwaw of x3 the 
inter'gatories. xDD Demand them singly. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. Do xDD you ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this uWu Captain ÚwÚ Dumain? 
PAROLLES. UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 him: xDD 'a UwU was :3 a botcher's xDD pwentice uWu in >_< Pawis, from 
>_> whence ^.^ he UwU was x3 whipt fow UwU getting x3 the shwieve's >w< foow with chiwd-a 
UwU dumb innocent :3 that couwd nyot >_> say ^.^ him nyay. 
BERTRAM. Nyay, ^.^ by x3 youw weave, howd x3 youw hands; ^w^ though UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his 
brains OwO awe forfeit to x3 the :3 nyext tiwe :3 that ^w^ fawws. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. xDD Weww, >_> is ÚwÚ this UwU captain uWu in x3 the >w< Duke of x3 Fwowence's 
camp? 
PAROLLES. >_> Upon x3 my ^-^ knyowwedge, ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and lousy. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Nyay, wook nyot UwU so ;;w;; upon OwO me; ^.^ we UwU shaww hear of x3 youw 
OwO wowdship x3 anyon. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. >_> What >_> is :33 his >_< weputation with x3 the Duke? 
PAROLLES. uWu The >w< Duke xDD knyows ^.^ him fow nyo othew >_> but :3 a poor officer of 
minye; ÚwÚ and ^-^ wwit to ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this othew day to turn ^.^ him x3 out ^.^ o' x3 th' UwU band. 
UwU I think UwU I uWu have :33 his >_> wettew uWu in x3 my ^-^ pocket. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. OwO Mawwy, we'll seawch. 
PAROLLES. ^w^ In ÚwÚ good xDD sadnyess, UwU I UwU do nyot know; xDD eithew >w< it >_> is there ow >w< it 
>_> is ;;w;; upon :3 a file with x3 the Duke's othew x3 wettews uWu in x3 my uWu tent. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. :3 Hewe ÚwÚ 'tis; hewe's :3 a ^.^ papew. Shall UwU I ^w^ wead >w< it to you? 
PAROLLES. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow >_> if >w< it be >w< it ow >w< nyo. 
BERTRAM. Our ^.^ intewpwetew does >w< it well. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. uWu Excewwentwy. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. [Weads] 'Dian, x3 the OwO Count's :3 a x3 foow, ÚwÚ and full of 
>_> gowd.' 
PAROLLES. :33 That >_> is nyot x3 the Duke's letter, siw; :3 that >_> is >w< an 
:33 advewtisement to :3 a OwO pwopew >_< maid uWu in >_< Fwowence, one OwO Dianya, to OwO take 
:3 heed of x3 the ÚwÚ awwuwement of one xDD Count :33 Wousiwwon, :3 a >_< foowish idle 
^-^ boy, >_> but fow aww :3 that xDD vewy UwU wuttish. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, put >w< it x3 up 
;;w;; again. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. Nyay, I'll ^w^ wead >w< it xDD fiwst ^.^ by x3 youw UwU favouw. 
PAROLLES. OwO My meaning OwO in't, UwU I protest, UwU was xDD vewy xDD honyest uWu in x3 the behawf 
of x3 the >_> maid; fow UwU I UwU knyew x3 the xDD young xDD Count to be :3 a uWu dangewous ÚwÚ and 
OwO wascivious ^-^ boy, who >_> is :3 a OwO whawe to ^-^ viwginyity, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ devouws x3 up aww 
x3 the fwy >w< it >_> finds. 
BERTRAM. Damnable ^w^ both-sides UwU wogue! 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. [Weads] 
^-^ 'When ^.^ he ÚwÚ sweaws oaths, bid ^.^ him >_< dwop ^.^ gowd, ÚwÚ and OwO take uWu it; 
>w< Aftew ^.^ he uWu scowes, ^.^ he >_< nyevew >w< pays x3 the >_< scowe. 
>_> Hawf ^.^ won >_> is >_< match weww ÚwÚ made; ;;w;; match, ÚwÚ and weww >_< make uWu it; 
>w< He ^w^ nye'ew >w< pays after-debts, OwO take >w< it befowe. 
xDD And >_> say :3 a sowdiew, OwO Dian, told uWu thee :33 this: 
OwO Men OwO awe to uWu meww OwO with, >_< boys OwO awe nyot to >_< kiss; 
For ;;w;; count of uWu this, x3 the OwO Count's :3 a x3 foow, UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 it, 
Who >w< pays x3 befowe, >_> but nyot when ^.^ he does >_> owe :3 it. 
Thinye, >_< as ^.^ he ^.^ vow'd to uWu thee uWu in ^.^ thinye eaw, 
PAWOWWES.' 
BERTRAM. >w< He UwU shaww be x3 whipt ^w^ thwough x3 the ^.^ awmy with ÚwÚ this ^-^ whyme in's 
forehead. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. This >_> is x3 youw xDD devoted fwiend, ^w^ siw, x3 the manyifowd 
winguist, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ amnyipotent OwO sowdiew. 
BERTRAM. UwU I couwd OwO enduwe ;;w;; anything >w< befowe >_> but :3 a cat, ÚwÚ and nyow uWu he's :3 a 
:33 cat to x3 me. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. UwU I ÚwÚ pewceive, ^w^ siw, ^.^ by UwU ouw General's :33 wooks ^.^ we UwU shaww be 
>_> fain to ^w^ hang OwO you. 
PAROLLES. OwO My :3 wife, ^w^ siw, uWu in xDD any ^w^ case! ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that UwU I ^w^ am :33 afwaid to >_> die, 
>_> but :3 that, x3 my :3 offences ^.^ being UwU many, UwU I ^.^ wouwd wepent x3 out x3 the 
^.^ wemaindew of :33 nyatuwe. Let ;;w;; me x3 wive, ^w^ siw, uWu in :3 a :33 dungeon, :33 i' x3 th' 
uWu stocks, ow anywhere, UwU so UwU I OwO may wive. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. ^-^ We'ww >_> see >_> what OwO may be :33 donye, UwU so xDD you x3 confess ÚwÚ fweewy; 
OwO thewefowe, >_> once ^.^ mowe to ÚwÚ this uWu Captain ^.^ Dumain: xDD you uWu have x3 answew'd to 
:33 his >_< weputation with x3 the ;;w;; Duke, ÚwÚ and to :33 his :3 vawouw; >_> what >_> is :33 his 
>_< honyesty? 
PAROLLES. >w< He xDD wiww steal, ^w^ siw, >w< an >_> egg x3 out of :3 a >_> cwoistew; fow OwO wapes 
ÚwÚ and ravishments ^.^ he ;;w;; pawawwews Nessus. >w< He >_< pwofesses nyot ^w^ keeping of 
:3 oaths; uWu in breaking x3 'em ^.^ he >_> is stronger than ^w^ Hewcuwes. >w< He xDD wiww wie, 
^w^ siw, with xDD such ^.^ vowubiwity :3 that xDD you ^.^ wouwd think uWu twuth :3 wewe :3 a xDD foow. 
x3 Dwunkennyess >_> is :33 his best virtue, fow ^.^ he xDD wiww be OwO swinye-dwunk; ÚwÚ and 
uWu in :33 his :33 sweep ^.^ he does xDD wittwe >w< hawm, :3 save to :33 his bedcwothes about 
him; >_> but ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow :33 his :33 conditions ÚwÚ and uWu way ^.^ him uWu in stwaw. UwU I uWu have 
>_> but xDD wittwe ^.^ mowe to say, ^w^ siw, of :33 his x3 honyesty. >w< He >_> has evewything 
:3 that >w< an xDD honyest x3 man >_> shouwd nyot uWu have; >_> what >w< an xDD honyest x3 man >_> shouwd 
uWu have ^.^ he >_> has OwO nyothing. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. UwU I x3 begin to wuv ^.^ him fow UwU this. 
BERTRAM. For ÚwÚ this description of ^.^ thinye >_< honyesty? ^-^ A uWu pox ;;w;; upon x3 him! For 
uWu me, uWu he's ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe :3 a >_< cat. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. >_> What >_> say xDD you to :33 his ;;w;; expewtnyess uWu in ;;w;; waw? 
PAROLLES. Faith, ^w^ siw, >_> has x3 wed x3 the drum >w< befowe x3 the :3 Engwish 
xDD twagedians-to belie ^.^ him UwU I xDD wiww >_> nyot-and ^.^ mowe of :33 his :3 sowdiew-ship 
UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, :33 except uWu in :3 that countwy ^.^ he xDD had x3 the honour to be x3 the 
officer uWu at :3 a :33 pwace there ^w^ cawwed Miwe-end to instwuct fow x3 the 
UwU doubwing of ÚwÚ fiwes-I ^.^ wouwd UwU do x3 the x3 man >_> what honour UwU I UwU can-but of 
ÚwÚ this UwU I ^w^ am nyot cewtain. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >w< He hath UwU out-viwwain'd xDD viwwainy UwU so uWu faw :3 that x3 the rarity 
wedeems ^.^ him. 
BERTRAM. ^-^ A uWu pox on x3 him! uWu he's :3 a :33 cat xDD stiww. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. ÚwÚ His :33 quawities ^.^ being uWu at ÚwÚ this poor >_< pwice, UwU I >_< nyeed nyot 
to ^w^ ask xDD you >_> if gowd xDD wiww corrupt ^.^ him to revolt. 
PAROLLES. UwU Siw, fow :3 a cawdecue ^.^ he xDD wiww ;;w;; seww x3 the >_> fee-simpwe of :33 his 
sawvation, x3 the inheritance of uWu it; ÚwÚ and :3 cut x3 th' :3 entaiw from aww 
>_< wemaindews ÚwÚ and :3 a pewpetuaw ^.^ succession fow >w< it >_> pewpetuawwy. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. x3 What's :33 his brother, x3 the othew uWu Captain ÚwÚ Dumain? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Why does ^.^ he ^w^ ask ^.^ him of me? 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. x3 What's uWu he? 
PAROLLES. E'en :3 a x3 cwow ^.^ o' x3 th' same nyest; nyot ;;w;; awtogethew UwU so great >_< as 
x3 the xDD fiwst uWu in ^-^ goodnyess, >_> but :33 gweatew :3 a great deal uWu in evil. >w< He 
:3 excews :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew fow :3 a ^-^ cowawd; yet :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is weputed one 
of x3 the best :3 that >w< is. ^w^ In :3 a ;;w;; wetweat ^.^ he outwuns xDD any >w< wackey: marry, 
uWu in xDD coming on ^.^ he >_> has x3 the cramp. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. ;;w;; If x3 youw >w< wife be ^-^ saved, xDD wiww xDD you undewtake to ÚwÚ betway 
x3 the :3 Fwowentinye? 
PAROLLES. Ay, ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu Captain of :33 his >_< Howse, xDD Count ^.^ Wousiwwon. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. I'll whisper with x3 the Genyewaw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow :33 his 
pleasure. 
PAROLLES. :3 [Aside] I'll nyo ^.^ mowe ;;w;; dwumming. ^-^ A pwague of aww >_< dwums! 
Onwy to xDD seem to OwO desewve weww, ÚwÚ and to beguile x3 the supposition of 
:3 that OwO wascivious xDD young ;;w;; boy x3 the ^.^ Count, uWu have UwU I >w< wun x3 into ÚwÚ this danger. 
ÚwÚ Yet who ^.^ wouwd uWu have >w< suspected >w< an ^-^ ambush :3 whewe UwU I UwU was :33 taken? 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo ^.^ wemedy, ^w^ siw, >_> but xDD you ^w^ must die. 
uWu The General ;;w;; says xDD you :3 that uWu have UwU so twaitowouswy discuvw'd x3 the 
^w^ secwets of x3 youw xDD awmy, ÚwÚ and UwU made xDD such ÚwÚ pestifewous ÚwÚ wepowts of ;;w;; men 
xDD vewy ;;w;; nyobwy x3 hewd, ^.^ can serve x3 the wowwd fow nyo xDD honyest use; >_< thewefowe 
xDD you ^w^ must die. ^.^ Come, ^w^ headsman, of with :33 his >_> head. 
PAROLLES. x3 O Wowd, ^w^ siw, wet ;;w;; me x3 wive, ow wet ;;w;; me >_> see x3 my ;;w;; death! 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. :33 That UwU shaww UwU you, ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 youw OwO weave of aww x3 youw 
fwiends. [Unmuffling >w< him] ^w^ So wook about uWu you; ^.^ knyow xDD you xDD any hewe? 
BERTRAM. ^-^ Good morrow, x3 nyobwe ^-^ Captain. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess UwU you, uWu Captain ^w^ Pawowwes. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^w^ God :3 save UwU you, x3 nyobwe ^-^ Captain. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. xDD Captain, >_> what :3 gweeting xDD wiww xDD you to x3 my Lord Lafeu? UwU I ^w^ am 
fow Fwance. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^-^ Good xDD Captain, xDD wiww xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me :3 a copy of x3 the sonnet 
xDD you ^-^ wwit to Diana uWu in behawf of x3 the xDD Count Wousiwwon? ^-^ An UwU I :3 wewe nyot 
:3 a xDD vewy x3 cowawd ;;w;; I'd compel >w< it of uWu you; >_> but ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
Exeunt >_> BEWTWAM ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. >_> You OwO awe >_< undonye, xDD Captain, aww >_> but x3 youw scarf; :3 that 
>_> has :3 a >_< knyot on 't >_> yet. 
PAROLLES. Who ;;w;; cannyot be ^w^ cwush'd with :3 a x3 pwot? 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. ;;w;; If xDD you couwd find x3 out :3 a countwy :3 whewe >_> but x3 women :3 wewe 
:3 that xDD had uWu weceived UwU so much UwU shame, xDD you ^w^ might x3 begin >w< an ^w^ impudent 
nyation. >w< Fawe OwO ye weww, siw; UwU I ^w^ am fow Fwance :3 too; ^.^ we UwU shaww speak of 
xDD you :33 thewe. uWu Exit with SOLDIERS 
PAROLLES. ÚwÚ Yet ^w^ am UwU I UwU thankfuw. ;;w;; If x3 my >_< heawt :3 wewe ^.^ gweat, 
;;w;; 'Twouwd burst uWu at UwU this. uWu Captain I'll be nyo mowe; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww uWu eat, ÚwÚ and dwink, ÚwÚ and :33 sweep >_< as soft 
;;w;; As UwU captain >_< shaww. >w< Simpwy x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I ^w^ am 
Shall >_< make ;;w;; me wive. Who xDD knyows >_< himsewf :3 a :3 bwaggawt, 
Let ^.^ him feaw >_< this; fow >w< it xDD wiww come to pass 
:33 That every braggart UwU shaww be >_> found >w< an ass. 
>w< Wust, ^-^ swowd; coow, bwushes; x3 and, Parolles, ^w^ wive 
;;w;; Safest uWu in ;;w;; shame. uWu Being ^-^ foow'd, ^.^ by x3 foow'wy :33 thwive. 
>_> Thewe's :33 pwace ÚwÚ and means fow every x3 man alive. 
I'll ÚwÚ aftew OwO them. uWu Exit 




^.^ ACT IV >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 
uWu The WIDOW'S ;;w;; house 

Entew x3 HEWENyA, WIDOW, ÚwÚ and >_< DIANyA 

HEWENyA. :33 That xDD you OwO may weww >_> pewceive UwU I uWu have nyot wrong'd you! 
x3 Onye of x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest uWu in x3 the Christian wowwd 
Shall be x3 my surety; fore x3 whose >_< thwonye UwU 'tis needful, 
Ere UwU I ^.^ can :3 pewfect >_< minye >w< intents, to knyeew. 
^-^ Time UwU was UwU I uWu did ^.^ him :3 a ÚwÚ desiwed office, 
>_< Deaw almost >_< as :33 his :33 wife; which ^-^ gwatitude 
^.^ Thwough flinty Tawtaw's ^w^ bosom ^.^ wouwd xDD peep ^-^ fowth, 
xDD And answew 'Thanks.' UwU I :33 duwy ^w^ am inform'd 
ÚwÚ His Gwace >_> is uWu at uWu Mawseiwwes, to which :33 pwace 
We uWu have UwU convenyient OwO convoy. >_> You ^w^ must ^.^ knyow 
UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ supposed uWu dead. uWu The ^.^ awmy >_> bweaking, 
OwO My :33 husband xDD hies ^.^ him ÚwÚ home; where, heaven OwO aiding, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the OwO weave of x3 my ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wowd x3 the OwO King, 
^-^ We'ww be >w< befowe UwU ouw x3 wewcome. 
uWu WIDOW. ^w^ Gentwe UwU madam, 
>_> You >_< nyevew xDD had :3 a xDD sewvant to x3 whose :33 twust 
uWu Youw business UwU was ^.^ mowe x3 wewcome. 
HEWENyA. x3 Nyow UwU you, ^-^ mistwess, 
^w^ Evew :3 a :33 fwiend x3 whose >_< thoughts ^.^ mowe :33 twuwy labour 
;;w;; To recompense x3 youw love. Doubt nyot >_> but heaven 
>_< Hath ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me x3 up to be x3 youw ^w^ daughtew's dowew, 
;;w;; As >w< it hath :3 fated her to be x3 my motive 
xDD And helper to :3 a husband. But, x3 O ;;w;; stwange :3 men! 
:33 That ^.^ can xDD such x3 sweet use >_< make of >_> what ;;w;; they hate, 
x3 When ^w^ saucy >_< twusting of x3 the OwO cozen'd >_< thoughts 
^.^ Defiwes x3 the xDD pitchy OwO nyight. ^w^ So lust xDD doth :33 pway 
With >_> what >w< it loathes, fow :3 that which >_> is xDD away. 
OwO But ^.^ mowe of ÚwÚ this x3 heweaftew. >_< You, OwO Dianya, 
;;w;; Undew x3 my poor instructions yet ^w^ must suffew 
xDD Something uWu in x3 my ^.^ behawf. 
DIANyA. Let :33 death ÚwÚ and honesty 
Go with x3 youw ;;w;; impositions, UwU I ^w^ am >_> youws 
>_> Upon x3 youw xDD wiww to :33 suffew. 
HEWENyA. Yet, UwU I pray xDD you: 
OwO But with x3 the ;;w;; wowd x3 the time xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing on summer, 
x3 When bwiews UwU shaww uWu have >w< weaves >_< as weww >_< as thorns 
xDD And be >_< as x3 sweet >_< as sharp. We ^w^ must :3 away; 
Our ^w^ waggon >_> is prepar'd, ÚwÚ and time revives >_> us. 
^-^ Aww's Weww :3 that Ends ^-^ Weww. UwU Stiww x3 the finye's x3 the crown. 
ÚwÚ Whate'ew x3 the course, x3 the >w< end >_> is x3 the ^w^ wenyown. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT IV >w< SCENyE 5. 
^.^ Wousiwwon. uWu The >_> COUNT'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew uWu COUNTESS, OwO WAFEU, ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

UwU WAFEU. :3 Nyo, no, no, >_< son UwU was ;;w;; miswed with :3 a ^.^ snyipt-taffeta fewwow 
thewe, x3 whose ÚwÚ viwwainyous x3 saffwon ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU made aww x3 the unbak'd 
ÚwÚ and doughy :33 youth of :3 a nation uWu in :33 his :3 cowouw. uWu Youw daughter-in-law 
xDD had :33 been ^.^ awive uWu at ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_< son OwO hewe uWu at ^.^ home, ^.^ mowe 
>w< advanc'd ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ King than ^.^ by :3 that >_> wed-taiw'd UwU humbwe-bee UwU I speak 
uWu of. 
COUNTESS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had nyot ÚwÚ knyown ^.^ him. ^.^ It UwU was x3 the :33 death of x3 the UwU most 
virtuous :33 gentwewoman :3 that OwO evew ÚwÚ nyatuwe xDD had praise fow :3 cweating. ;;w;; If 
^.^ she xDD had ÚwÚ pawtaken of x3 my OwO fwesh, ÚwÚ and >_> cost ;;w;; me x3 the deawest groans of :3 a 
x3 mothew. UwU I couwd nyot uWu have >_> owed her :3 a ^.^ mowe rooted love. 
UwU WAFEU. >_< 'Twas :3 a ÚwÚ good UwU wady, uWu 'twas :3 a ÚwÚ good >_> wady. We OwO may pick :3 a thousand 
UwU sawwets ere ^.^ we >w< wight on xDD such anyothew herb. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< Indeed, ^w^ siw, ^.^ she UwU was x3 the sweet-marjoram of x3 the sallet, or, 
UwU wathew, x3 the OwO hewb of grace. 
UwU WAFEU. ^-^ They OwO awe nyot ^.^ sawwet-hewbs, xDD you knave; ;;w;; they OwO awe nyose-hewbs. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ^w^ am nyo great ;;w;; Nyebuchadnyezzaw, siw; UwU I uWu have nyot much :3 skiww uWu in 
grass. 
UwU WAFEU. Whethew dost xDD thou pwofess thyself-a x3 knyave ow :3 a ^.^ foow? 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ A x3 foow, ^w^ siw, uWu at :3 a xDD woman's sewvice, ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 knyave uWu at :3 a man's. 
UwU WAFEU. uWu Youw distinction? 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU cozen x3 the x3 man of :33 his :3 wife, ÚwÚ and UwU do :33 his service. 
UwU WAFEU. ^w^ So xDD you :3 wewe :3 a x3 knyave uWu at :33 his sewvice, indeed. 
uWu CWOWN. xDD And UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU give :33 his >w< wife x3 my :33 baubwe, ^w^ siw, to UwU do her service. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I xDD wiww uWu subscwibe fow ÚwÚ thee; xDD thou awt both x3 knyave ÚwÚ and xDD foow. 
uWu CWOWN. At x3 youw service. 
UwU WAFEU. :3 Nyo, no, >w< nyo. 
uWu CWOWN. Why, ^w^ siw, >_> if UwU I ;;w;; cannyot serve UwU you, UwU I ^.^ can serve >_< as great :3 a 
>_> pwince >_< as xDD you x3 awe. 
UwU WAFEU. Who's ^-^ that? ^-^ A Frenchman? 
uWu CWOWN. Faith, ^w^ siw, xDD 'a >_> has >w< an :3 Engwish UwU nyame; >_> but :33 his fisnyomy >_> is ^.^ mowe 
>w< hottew uWu in Fwance than :33 thewe. 
UwU WAFEU. >_> What >_> pwince >_> is ^-^ that? 
uWu CWOWN. uWu The ;;w;; Bwack >_< Pwince, siw; ^w^ awias, x3 the Prince of uWu Dawknyess; ^w^ awias, 
x3 the deviw. 
UwU WAFEU. :33 Howd ÚwÚ thee, there's x3 my purse. UwU I UwU give uWu thee nyot ÚwÚ this to ^.^ suggest 
uWu thee from >w< thy >_< mastew xDD thou >_> tawk'st OwO of; serve ^.^ him xDD stiww. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a >_< woodwand fewwow, ^w^ siw, :3 that awways xDD wuvd :3 a great x3 fiwe; 
ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< mastew UwU I speak of OwO evew keeps :3 a ÚwÚ good >_> fiwe. But, x3 suwe, ^.^ he 
>_> is x3 the >_> pwince of x3 the wowwd; wet :33 his >_> nyobiwity wemain in's >_< couwt. UwU I 
^w^ am fow x3 the ;;w;; house with x3 the nyawwow >_< gate, which UwU I OwO take to be ^w^ too 
xDD wittwe fow pomp to enter. ;;w;; Some :3 that humble x3 themsewves ;;w;; may; >_> but 
x3 the UwU many xDD wiww be ^w^ too chiww ÚwÚ and UwU tendew: ÚwÚ and they'ww be fow x3 the 
flow'ry uWu way :3 that weads to x3 the >_< bwoad uWu gate ÚwÚ and x3 the great >_> fiwe. 
UwU WAFEU. Go >w< thy >w< ways, UwU I x3 begin to be >_> aweawy of ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and UwU I tell uWu thee 
UwU so x3 befowe, uWu because UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot faww x3 out with thee. Go >w< thy x3 ways; 
wet x3 my :3 howses be weww >_> wook'd ^.^ to, ^-^ without xDD any ^w^ twicks. 
uWu CWOWN. ;;w;; If UwU I put xDD any tricks ;;w;; upon 'em, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; they UwU shaww be :3 jades' 
twicks, which OwO awe uWu theiw UwU own >w< wight ^.^ by x3 the law of :33 nyatuwe. 
uWu Exit 
UwU WAFEU. ^-^ A shrewd ^-^ knyave, ÚwÚ and >w< an >w< unhappy. 
COUNTESS. ^w^ So xDD 'a >w< is. OwO My ;;w;; wowd ^w^ that's >_> gonye UwU made >_< himsewf much spowt 
x3 out of ^.^ him. ^-^ By :33 his ÚwÚ authowity ^.^ he remains UwU hewe, which ^.^ he ^w^ thinks >_> is 
:3 a OwO patent fow :33 his :3 saucinyess; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ indeed ^.^ he >_> has nyo pace, >_> but wuns 
:3 whewe ^.^ he :33 wiww. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I ^.^ wike ^.^ him well; UwU 'tis nyot ;;w;; amiss. xDD And UwU I UwU was about to tell 
UwU you, xDD since UwU I heard of x3 the ÚwÚ good >_> wady's UwU death, ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
x3 youw >_< son UwU was ;;w;; upon :33 his ^-^ wetuwn ^.^ home, UwU I ^-^ muvd x3 the ^w^ King x3 my >_< mastew to 
speak uWu in x3 the behawf of x3 my ;;w;; daughtew; ^w^ which, uWu in x3 the ^-^ minyowity of 
them xDD both, :33 his ;;w;; Majesty x3 out of :3 a ^-^ sewf-gwacious wemembwance uWu did 
xDD fiwst propose. ÚwÚ His >_> Highnyess hath pwomis'd ;;w;; me to UwU do uWu it; x3 and, to 
ÚwÚ stop x3 up x3 the >_< dispweasuwe ^.^ he hath ^-^ conceived OwO against x3 youw x3 son, there 
>_> is nyo fitter :3 mattew. How does x3 youw >w< wadyship ^.^ wike :33 it? 
COUNTESS. With xDD vewy much UwU content, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ and UwU I ÚwÚ wish >w< it happily 
x3 effected. 
UwU WAFEU. ÚwÚ His >_> Highnyess x3 comes x3 post from uWu Mawseiwwes, of >_< as able >w< body >_< as 
when ^.^ he nyumbew'd xDD thiwty; xDD 'a xDD wiww be OwO hewe ^.^ to-mowwow, ow UwU I ^w^ am 
>_> deceiv'd ^.^ by ^.^ him :3 that uWu in xDD such ^.^ intewwigence hath seldom OwO faiw'd. 
COUNTESS. ^.^ It :3 wejoices ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I UwU hope UwU I UwU shaww >_> see ^.^ him ere UwU I die. 
UwU I uWu have x3 wettews :3 that x3 my >_< son xDD wiww be OwO hewe to-night. UwU I UwU shaww :33 beseech 
x3 youw OwO wowdship to wemain with ;;w;; me x3 taw ;;w;; they :3 meet together. 
UwU WAFEU. uWu Madam, UwU I UwU was uWu thinking with >_> what ^w^ mannyews UwU I ^w^ might >w< safewy be 
>w< admitted. 
COUNTESS. >_> You >_< nyeed >_> but pwead x3 youw ^.^ honyouwabwe >_< pwiviwege. 
UwU WAFEU. Lady, of :3 that UwU I uWu have UwU made :3 a bold charter; but, UwU I >_> thank x3 my 
:33 God, >w< it ÚwÚ howds >_> yet. 

^.^ We-entew CWOWN 

uWu CWOWN. x3 O UwU madam, >_> yondew's x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 youw >_< son with :3 a patch of vewvet 
UwU on's face; >w< whethew there be :3 a ^-^ scaw :33 undew 't ow no, x3 the vewvet 
OwO knyows; >_> but UwU 'tis :3 a xDD goodwy patch of uWu vewvet. ÚwÚ His left >_< cheek >_> is :3 a 
>_< cheek of >w< two ^.^ piwe ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD hawf, >_> but :33 his >w< wight >_< cheek >_> is wown xDD bawe. 
UwU WAFEU. ^-^ A ^-^ scaw ;;w;; nyobwy OwO got, ow :3 a x3 nyobwe scar, >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good wiv'wy of 
honour; UwU so ;;w;; bewike >_> is x3 that. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO But >w< it >_> is x3 youw carbonado'd ;;w;; face. 
UwU WAFEU. Let >_> us OwO go >_> see x3 youw x3 son, UwU I pray uWu you; 
UwU I ^-^ wong to tawk with x3 the xDD young x3 nyobwe OwO sowdiew. 
uWu CWOWN. Faith, there's :3 a ^.^ dozen of 'em, with xDD dewicate OwO finye >_> hats, ÚwÚ and 
UwU most ^-^ couwteous ^w^ feathews, which bow x3 the >_> head ÚwÚ and nod uWu at every man. 
Exeunt 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
OwO Mawseiwwes. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew x3 HEWENyA, WIDOW, ÚwÚ and DIANA, with >w< two OwO ATTENDANTS 

HEWENyA. OwO But ÚwÚ this :33 exceeding UwU posting day ÚwÚ and >w< nyight 
:3 Must ^-^ weaw x3 youw ;;w;; spiwits ^w^ wow; ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot OwO hewp :3 it. 
OwO But xDD since xDD you uWu have UwU made x3 the OwO days ÚwÚ and :33 nyights >_< as one, 
;;w;; To ^-^ weaw x3 youw ^-^ gentwe x3 wimbs uWu in x3 my ^-^ affaiws, 
^w^ Be bold xDD you UwU do UwU so gwow uWu in x3 my wequitaw 
;;w;; As >_< nyothing ^.^ can unroot OwO you. 

Entew :3 a ^-^ GENTWEMAN 

^w^ In ^w^ happy xDD time! 
This x3 man OwO may OwO hewp ;;w;; me to :33 his :33 Majesty's eaw, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd spend :33 his UwU powew. ^w^ God :3 save UwU you, sir. 
OwO GENTWEMAN. xDD And OwO you. 
HEWENyA. UwU Siw, UwU I uWu have :3 seen xDD you uWu in x3 the court of Fwance. 
OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I uWu have :33 been x3 sometimes :33 thewe. 
HEWENyA. UwU I UwU do pwesume, ^w^ siw, :3 that xDD you OwO awe nyot fall'n 
Fwom x3 the wepowt :3 that xDD goes ;;w;; upon x3 youw :3 goodnyess; 
xDD And OwO thewefowe, ;;w;; goaded with UwU most ^-^ shawp UwU occasions, 
>_< Which uWu way UwU nyice ^w^ mannyews UwU by, UwU I put xDD you to 
uWu The use of x3 youw UwU own viwtues, fow x3 the which 
UwU I UwU shaww >w< continyue UwU thankfuw. 
OwO GENTWEMAN. x3 What's x3 youw xDD wiww? 
HEWENyA. :33 That >w< it xDD wiww uWu pwease xDD you 
;;w;; To UwU give ÚwÚ this poor x3 petition to x3 the uWu King; 
xDD And >_> aid ;;w;; me with :3 that OwO stowe of powew xDD you uWu have 
;;w;; To come x3 into :33 his pwesence. 
OwO GENTWEMAN. uWu The >_< King's nyot hewe. 
HEWENyA. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU hewe, UwU siw? 
OwO GENTWEMAN. ÚwÚ Nyot indeed. 
>w< He >w< hence >w< wemov'd >w< wast night, ÚwÚ and with ^.^ mowe ^.^ haste 
Than >_> is :33 his ÚwÚ use. 
uWu WIDOW. Wowd, >w< how ^.^ we wose UwU ouw UwU pains! 
HEWENyA. ^-^ Aww's Weww :33 That Ends Weww ^w^ yet, 
;;w;; Though time xDD seem UwU so advewse ÚwÚ and means unfit. 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, :33 whithew >_> is ^.^ he gone? 
OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO Mawwy, >_< as UwU I OwO take :33 it, to :33 Wousiwwon; 
x3 Whithew UwU I ^w^ am uWu going. 
HEWENyA. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
Since xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wike to >_> see x3 the ^w^ King >w< befowe uWu me, 
>_< Commend x3 the paper to :33 his >_> gwacious xDD hand; 
>_< Which UwU I presume UwU shaww render xDD you nyo bwame, 
OwO But rather >_< make xDD you >_> thank x3 youw ^w^ pains fow :3 it. 
UwU I xDD wiww come ÚwÚ aftew xDD you with >_> what ÚwÚ good ^w^ speed 
Our means xDD wiww >_< make >_> us means. 
OwO GENTWEMAN. This I'll UwU do fow OwO you. 
HEWENyA. xDD And xDD you UwU shaww find >_> youwsewf to be weww >_< thank'd, 
ÚwÚ Whate'ew ^w^ fawws more. We ^w^ must to UwU howse again; 
^w^ Go, x3 go, pwovide. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
^.^ Wousiwwon. uWu The ^.^ innyew court of x3 the >_> COUNT'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew CWOWN ÚwÚ and x3 PAWOWWES 

PAROLLES. ^-^ Good ;;w;; Monsieuw Lavache, UwU give x3 my Lord Wafeu ÚwÚ this >_> wettew. UwU I 
uWu have ere now, ^w^ siw, :33 been xDD bettew ÚwÚ knyown to UwU you, when UwU I uWu have hewd 
:3 famiwiawity with ^-^ fweshew clothes; >_> but UwU I ^w^ am now, ^w^ siw, >_< muddied uWu in 
Fowtunye's :3 mood, ÚwÚ and smell >_< somewhat >w< stwong of her >w< stwong 
dispweasuwe. 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Twuwy, Fowtunye's >_< dispweasuwe >_> is >_> but swuttish, >_> if >w< it smell 
UwU so >_< stwongwy >_< as xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st uWu of. UwU I xDD wiww henceforth eat nyo :33 fish 
of Fowtunye's ;;w;; butt'wing. Prithee, UwU awwow x3 the ^.^ wind. 
PAROLLES. Nyay, xDD you >_< nyeed nyot to ÚwÚ stop x3 youw nose, siw; UwU I x3 spake >_> but ^.^ by 
:3 a metaphow. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< Indeed, ^w^ siw, >_> if x3 youw xDD metaphow >w< stink, UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ stop x3 my nose; ow 
OwO against xDD any :33 man's metaphow. Prithee, get uWu thee fuwthew. 
PAROLLES. >_> Pway UwU you, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ dewivew ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this ^.^ papew. 
uWu CWOWN. x3 Foh! :33 pwithee stand xDD away. ^-^ A paper from Fowtunye's cwose-stoow 
to UwU give to :3 a xDD nyobweman! Wook OwO hewe ^.^ he x3 comes himself. 

Entew LAFEU 

:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a pur of :3 Fowtunye's, ^w^ siw, ow of Fowtunye's cat, >_> but nyot 
:3 a :3 musk-cat, :3 that >_> has fall'n x3 into x3 the uncwean fishpond of her 
displeasure, x3 and, >_< as ^.^ he says, >_> is >_< muddied uWu withaw. >_> Pway UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
use x3 the >_< cawp >_< as xDD you ;;w;; may; fow ^.^ he :33 wooks ^.^ wike :3 a OwO poow, :3 decayed, 
ingenious, :33 foowish, rascally knave. UwU I UwU do pity :33 his distress 
uWu in x3 my similes of comfort, ÚwÚ and OwO weave ^.^ him to x3 youw wowdship. 
uWu Exit 
PAROLLES. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 man ÚwÚ whom :33 Fowtunye hath ;;w;; cwuewwy ^-^ scwatch'd. 
UwU WAFEU. xDD And >_> what ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu have ;;w;; me to ^-^ do? 'Tis ^w^ too wate to pare her 
>_< nyaiws now. ^-^ Whewein uWu have xDD you OwO pwayed x3 the x3 knyave with ÚwÚ Fowtunye, :3 that 
^.^ she >_> shouwd x3 scwatch UwU you, who of herself >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good uWu wady ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd 
nyot uWu have knyaves x3 thwive ^-^ wong :33 undew OwO hew? >_> Thewe's :3 a cawdecue fow 
OwO you. Let x3 the justices >_< make xDD you ÚwÚ and :33 Fowtunye >_< fwiends; UwU I ^w^ am fow 
othew business. 
PAROLLES. UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw honour to hear ;;w;; me one :3 singwe OwO wowd. 
UwU WAFEU. >_> You ÚwÚ beg :3 a :3 singwe ÚwÚ penny mowe; come, xDD you UwU shaww xDD ha't; :3 save x3 youw 
OwO wowd. 
PAROLLES. OwO My :33 nyame, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, >_> is ^w^ Pawowwes. 
UwU WAFEU. >_> You ÚwÚ beg ^.^ mowe than ;;w;; wowd UwU then. Cox x3 my passion! UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw 
>w< hand. How does x3 youw drum? 
PAROLLES. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, xDD you :3 wewe x3 the xDD fiwst :3 that >_> found x3 me. 
UwU WAFEU. Was I, uWu in sooth? xDD And UwU I UwU was x3 the xDD fiwst :3 that wost thee. 
PAROLLES. ^.^ It wies uWu in UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, to ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me uWu in x3 some gwace, fow 
xDD you uWu did ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me OwO out. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU Out ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, uWu knyave! uWu Dost xDD thou put ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me uWu at >_> once both x3 the 
^.^ office of ^w^ God ÚwÚ and x3 the devil? x3 Onye >_< bwings x3 the uWu in gwace, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
othew >_< bwings uWu thee OwO out. x3 [Twumpets :3 sound] uWu The >_< King's >w< coming; UwU I 
^.^ knyow ^.^ by :33 his x3 twumpets. Siwwah, ^.^ inquiwe further ÚwÚ aftew OwO me; UwU I xDD had 
tawk of xDD you >w< wast OwO nyight. ;;w;; Though xDD you OwO awe :3 a >w< foow ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ knyave, xDD you 
UwU shaww ^.^ eat. Go >w< to; x3 fowwow. 
PAROLLES. UwU I praise ^w^ God fow OwO you. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
^.^ Wousiwwon. uWu The >_> COUNT'S ^w^ pawace 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING, uWu COUNTESS, OwO WAFEU, x3 the >w< two >_< FWENCH LORDS, with OwO ATTENDANTS 

>w< KING. We wost :3 a jewel of hew, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw >_> esteem 
Was UwU made much x3 poowew ^.^ by uWu it; >_> but x3 youw x3 son, 
;;w;; As ^-^ mad uWu in >_> fowwy, wack'd x3 the sense to ^.^ knyow 
:3 Hew estimation >_> home. 
COUNTESS. 'Tis past, x3 my ÚwÚ wiege; 
xDD And UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty to >_< make >w< it 
Nyatuwaw ^-^ webewwion, donye :33 i' x3 th' bwaze of youth, 
x3 When oiw ÚwÚ and ^w^ fiwe, ^w^ too >w< stwong fow OwO weason's fowce, 
^.^ O'ewbeaws >w< it ÚwÚ and buwns :3 on. 
>w< KING. OwO My :3 honyouw'd UwU wady, 
UwU I uWu have :3 fowgiven ÚwÚ and :3 fowgotten aww; 
;;w;; Though x3 my :33 wevenges :3 wewe xDD high UwU bent ;;w;; upon ^.^ him 
xDD And UwU watch'd x3 the time to >_> shoot. 
UwU WAFEU. This UwU I ^w^ must UwU say- 
OwO But ÚwÚ fiwst, UwU I ÚwÚ beg x3 my pawdon: x3 the xDD young ;;w;; wowd 
Did to :33 his ÚwÚ Majesty, :33 his :33 mothew, ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU wady, 
:3 Offence of ^-^ mighty UwU nyote; >_> but to >_< himsewf 
uWu The ÚwÚ gweatest wrong of all. >w< He wost :3 a >w< wife 
>_< Whose beauty uWu did ^w^ astonyish x3 the ;;w;; suwvey 
Of wichest eyes; x3 whose wowds aww OwO eaws >_> took :3 captive; 
>_< Whose uWu deaw pewfection heawts :3 that >_< scown'd to serve 
>_> Humbwy ^w^ caww'd ^w^ mistwess. 
>w< KING. >_< Pwaising >_> what >_> is wost 
:3 Makes x3 the wemembwance deaw. xDD Weww, caww ^.^ him hithew; 
We OwO awe OwO weconciw'd, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD fiwst x3 view UwU shaww OwO kiww 
All repetition. Let ^.^ him nyot ^w^ ask UwU ouw ;;w;; pawdon; 
uWu The ÚwÚ nyatuwe of :33 his great offence >_> is >_< dead, 
xDD And deeper than oblivion UwU do ^.^ we ^.^ buwy 
xDD Th' :3 incensing :33 wewics of uWu it; wet ^.^ him approach, 
^-^ A uWu stwangew, nyo offender; ÚwÚ and infowm ^.^ him 
^w^ So UwU 'tis UwU ouw xDD wiww ^.^ he OwO shouwd. 
OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I UwU shaww, x3 my OwO wiege. uWu Exit ^-^ GENTWEMAN 
>w< KING. >_> What ;;w;; says ^.^ he to x3 youw daughter? :3 Have xDD you xDD spoke? 
UwU WAFEU. All :3 that ^.^ he >_> is hath UwU wefewence to x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. 
>w< KING. UwU Then UwU shaww ^.^ we uWu have :3 a match. UwU I uWu have x3 wettews sent ;;w;; me 
:33 That :33 sets ^.^ him xDD high uWu in ^w^ fame. 

Entew >_> BEWTWAM 

UwU WAFEU. >w< He :33 wooks weww on :3 't. 
>w< KING. UwU I ^w^ am nyot :3 a day of >w< season, 
For xDD thou uWu mayst >_> see :3 a OwO sunshinye ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< haiw 
^w^ In ;;w;; me uWu at OwO once. OwO But to x3 the >_< bwightest beams 
^-^ Distwacted :33 cwouds UwU give way; UwU so stand xDD thou forth; 
uWu The time >_> is >w< faiw ;;w;; again. 
BERTRAM. OwO My uWu high-wepented ÚwÚ bwames, 
>_< Deaw sovereign, UwU pawdon to x3 me. 
>w< KING. All >_> is uWu whowe; 
ÚwÚ Nyot one ;;w;; wowd ^.^ mowe of x3 the ;;w;; consumed uWu time. 
:3 Wet's OwO take x3 the x3 instant ^.^ by x3 the forward UwU top; 
For ^.^ we OwO awe :3 owd, ÚwÚ and on UwU ouw >_< quick'st decrees 
xDD Th' ^.^ inyaudibwe ÚwÚ and nyoisewess :33 foot of ^-^ Time 
;;w;; Steaws ere ^.^ we ^.^ can ^w^ effect OwO them. >_> You remember 
uWu The daughter of ÚwÚ this xDD wowd? 
BERTRAM. uWu Admiwingwy, x3 my OwO wiege. At xDD fiwst 
UwU I ^.^ stuck x3 my UwU choice ;;w;; upon hew, ere x3 my >_< heawt 
:3 Duwst >_< make ^w^ too bold >_> hewawd of x3 my tongue; 
Whewe x3 the x3 impwession of >_< minye ^w^ eye ÚwÚ infixing, 
ÚwÚ Contempt :33 his ÚwÚ scownfuw :33 pewspective uWu did xDD wend uWu me, 
>_< Which xDD wawp'd x3 the winye of every othew favour, 
:3 Scown'd :3 a >w< faiw colour ow express'd >w< it stol'n, 
>w< Extended ow >_< contwacted aww proportions 
;;w;; To :3 a UwU most ^-^ hideous xDD object. ^w^ Thence >w< it ^-^ came 
:33 That ^.^ she ÚwÚ whom aww ;;w;; men prais'd, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ whom myself, 
Since UwU I uWu have :3 wost, uWu have ;;w;; wov'd, UwU was uWu in >_< minye ^w^ eye 
uWu The x3 dust :3 that uWu did ^-^ offend :3 it. 
>w< KING. Weww ^-^ excus'd. 
:33 That xDD thou :33 didst wuv hew, :33 stwikes x3 some UwU scowes OwO away 
Fwom x3 the great compt; >_> but wuv :3 that x3 comes ^w^ too late, 
Wike :3 a wemowsefuw UwU pawdon swowwy ;;w;; cawwied, 
;;w;; To x3 the great sender tuwns :3 a :3 souw ^-^ offence, 
Crying ;;w;; 'That's ÚwÚ good ^w^ that's gone.' Our >_< wash :33 fauwts 
^-^ Make OwO twiviaw pwice of sewious ^.^ things ^.^ we have, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 knyowing them ÚwÚ untiw ^.^ we ^.^ knyow uWu theiw x3 gwave. 
x3 Oft UwU ouw >w< dispweasuwes, to ouwsewves xDD unjust, 
;;w;; Destwoy UwU ouw OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ aftew xDD weep uWu theiw dust; 
Our UwU own wuv UwU waking x3 cwies to >_> see UwU what's :33 donye, 
While >_> shamefuw ^-^ hate sweeps x3 out x3 the aftewnyoon. 
^w^ Be ÚwÚ this x3 sweet Helen's knell. xDD And nyow x3 fowget her. 
>_< Send fowth x3 youw :3 amowous ;;w;; token fow >w< faiw x3 Maudwin. 
uWu The :33 main xDD consents OwO awe uWu had; ÚwÚ and OwO hewe we'll xDD stay 
;;w;; To >_> see UwU ouw widower's second ÚwÚ mawwiage-day. 
COUNTESS. >_< Which xDD bettew than x3 the ÚwÚ fiwst, x3 O uWu deaw ^.^ heaven, bwess! 
:3 Ow, ere ;;w;; they ^w^ meet, uWu in uWu me, x3 O nyatuwe, >_< cesse! 
UwU WAFEU. :3 Come ;;w;; on, x3 my x3 son, uWu in ÚwÚ whom x3 my >_> house's xDD nyame 
:3 Must be x3 digested; UwU give :3 a ^.^ favouw from UwU you, 
;;w;; To uWu spawkwe uWu in x3 the ;;w;; spiwits of x3 my ^w^ daughtew, 
:33 That ^.^ she OwO may quickly x3 come. 
x3 [BEWTWAM ;;w;; gives :3 a :3 wing] 
^-^ By x3 my ;;w;; owd UwU beawd, 
xDD And OwO ev'wy >_< haiw ^w^ that's on :3 't, Hewen, ^w^ that's >_< dead, 
Was :3 a x3 sweet cweatuwe; xDD such :3 a OwO wing >_< as uWu this, 
uWu The >w< wast :3 that ;;w;; e'ew UwU I >_> took her OwO weave uWu at xDD couwt, 
UwU I saw ;;w;; upon her finger. 
BERTRAM. Hews >w< it UwU was not. 
>w< KING. >_> Nyow, pray UwU you, wet ;;w;; me >_> see uWu it; fow >_< minye >_< eye, 
While UwU I UwU was ^-^ speaking, ;;w;; oft UwU was xDD fasten'd to't. 
This OwO wing UwU was minye; ÚwÚ and when UwU I uWu gave >w< it :33 Hewen 
UwU I ;;w;; bade hew, >_> if her fowtunyes OwO evew :33 stood 
Necessitied to hewp, :3 that ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ;;w;; token 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD wewieve her. xDD Had xDD you :3 that cwaft to OwO weave her 
Of >_> what >_> shouwd OwO stead her ^-^ most? 
BERTRAM. OwO My >_> gwacious sovereign, 
Howe'er >w< it x3 pweases xDD you to OwO take >w< it >_> so, 
uWu The OwO wing UwU was >_< nyevew hers. 
COUNTESS. UwU Son, on x3 my :3 wife, 
UwU I uWu have :3 seen her ^-^ weaw uWu it; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she uWu weckon'd >w< it 
At her ^w^ wife's UwU wate. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe UwU I saw her ^-^ weaw :3 it. 
BERTRAM. >_> You OwO awe ^.^ deceiv'd, x3 my wowd; ^.^ she >_< nyevew saw :3 it. 
^w^ In xDD Fwowence UwU was >w< it from :3 a >_< casement :33 thwown uWu me, 
OwO Wwapp'd uWu in :3 a paper, which contain'd x3 the xDD nyame 
Of her :3 that OwO thwew :3 it. Noble ^.^ she UwU was, ÚwÚ and xDD thought 
UwU I :33 stood :3 engag'd; >_> but when UwU I xDD had >w< subscwib'd 
;;w;; To >_< minye UwU own fowtunye, ÚwÚ and inform'd her fuwwy 
UwU I couwd nyot answew uWu in :3 that course of honour 
;;w;; As ^.^ she xDD had UwU made x3 the ^.^ uvwtuwe, ^.^ she ceas'd, 
^w^ In x3 heavy x3 satisfaction, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew 
Receive x3 the OwO wing ;;w;; again. 
>w< KING. Plutus himsewf, 
:33 That xDD knyows x3 the >_< tinct ÚwÚ and multiplying med'cine, 
>_< Hath nyot uWu in ;;w;; nyatuwe's mystery ^.^ mowe science 
Than UwU I uWu have uWu in ÚwÚ this wing. >_< 'Twas >_> minye, uWu 'twas ^.^ Hewen's, 
ÚwÚ Whoevew uWu gave >w< it OwO you. Then, >_> if xDD you ^.^ knyow 
:33 That xDD you OwO awe weww >_> acquainted with yourself, 
^w^ Confess uWu 'twas ÚwÚ hews, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by >_> what OwO wough UwU enfowcement 
>_> You ^w^ got >w< it from her. :33 She ^w^ caww'd x3 the ^-^ saints to surety 
:33 That ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew put >w< it from her finger 
OwO Unwess ^.^ she uWu gave >w< it to >_> youwsewf uWu in uWu bed- 
Whewe xDD you uWu have >_< nyevew come- ow sent >w< it >_> us 
>_> Upon her great disastew. 
BERTRAM. :33 She >_< nyevew saw :3 it. 
>w< KING. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; speak'st >w< it :3 fawsewy, >_< as UwU I wuv >_< minye honour; 
xDD And xDD mak'st conjectuwaw OwO feaws to come x3 into ;;w;; me 
>_< Which UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain shut OwO out. ;;w;; If >w< it >_> shouwd ^-^ pwuv 
:33 That xDD thou awt UwU so :3 inhuman- 'twill nyot ^-^ pwuv :3 so. 
xDD And yet UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot- xDD thou :33 didst ^-^ hate her deadly, 
xDD And ^.^ she >_> is UwU dead; which uWu nyothing, >_> but to ^-^ cwose 
:3 Hew eyes myself, couwd x3 win ;;w;; me to ^-^ bewieve 
uWu Mowe than to >_> see ÚwÚ this wing. ^.^ Take ^.^ him xDD away. 
[GUARDS x3 seize BERTRAM] 
OwO My fore-past ;;w;; pwoofs, howe'er x3 the ;;w;; mattew ^.^ faww, 
Shall ÚwÚ tax x3 my OwO feaws of xDD wittwe OwO vanyity, 
>_> Having vainwy feaw'd ^w^ too ^.^ wittwe. UwU Away with ^.^ him. 
^-^ We'ww OwO sift ÚwÚ this ;;w;; mattew fuwthew. 
BERTRAM. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU shaww ^-^ pwuv 
This OwO wing UwU was OwO evew ÚwÚ hews, xDD you UwU shaww >_< as ^w^ easy 
^-^ Pwuv :3 that UwU I husbanded her x3 bed uWu in >_< Fwowence, 
Whewe ^.^ she yet >_< nyevew uWu was. UwU Exit, guawded 
>w< KING. UwU I ^w^ am wwapp'd uWu in ÚwÚ dismaw ÚwÚ thinkings. 

Entew :3 a ^-^ GENTWEMAN 

OwO GENTWEMAN. Gracious sovereign, 
Whethew UwU I uWu have :33 been to uWu bwame ow no, UwU I ^.^ knyow not: 
>_> Hewe's :3 a x3 petition from :3 a ^w^ Fwowentinye, 
Who :33 hath, fow fouw ow five wemuvs, come showt 
;;w;; To xDD tendew >w< it hewsewf. UwU I ^.^ undewtook :33 it, 
^w^ Vanquish'd thereto ^.^ by x3 the >w< faiw xDD gwace ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ speech 
Of x3 the poor suppwiant, who ^.^ by uWu this, UwU I knyow, 
Is OwO hewe UwU attending; her business :33 wooks uWu in her 
With >w< an UwU impowting OwO visage; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she told ;;w;; me 
^w^ In :3 a x3 sweet ^.^ vewbaw bwief >w< it uWu did concern 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess with hewsewf. 
>w< KING. x3 [Weads x3 the >_> wettew] >_> 'Upon :33 his UwU many pwotestations to marry ;;w;; me 
when :33 his >w< wife UwU was >_< dead, UwU I bwush to >_> say :33 it, ^.^ he ^.^ won x3 me. Now >_> is x3 the 
xDD Count >w< Wousiwwon :3 a widower; :33 his x3 vows OwO awe >_< fowfeited to uWu me, ÚwÚ and x3 my 
x3 honyouw's paid to ^.^ him. >w< He OwO stowe from >_< Fwowence, :3 taking nyo weave, 
ÚwÚ and UwU I ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him to :33 his countwy fow justice. Grant >w< it uWu me, x3 O King! 
uWu in xDD you >w< it best >w< wies; ^-^ othewwise :3 a seducew flourishes, ÚwÚ and :3 a poor 
>_< maid >_> is >_< undonye. 
>_< DIANyA :3 CAPIWET.' 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I xDD wiww UwU buy ;;w;; me :3 a OwO son-in-waw uWu in :3 a faiw, ÚwÚ and ^w^ toww fow UwU this. 
I'll >_< nyonye of ^.^ him. 
>w< KING. uWu The heavens uWu have xDD thought weww on ÚwÚ thee, Lafeu, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing fowth ÚwÚ this UwU discov'wy. ;;w;; Seek these ÚwÚ suitows. 
Go xDD speediwy, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing again x3 the xDD Count. 
Exeunt OwO ATTENDANTS 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< afeawd x3 the >w< wife of Hewen, UwU wady, 
Was foully snatch'd. 
COUNTESS. >_> Nyow, justice on x3 the doews! 

Entew BERTRAM, guawded 

>w< KING. UwU I OwO wondew, ^w^ siw, sith ;;w;; wives OwO awe :3 monstews to OwO you. 
xDD And :3 that xDD you fwy them >_< as xDD you >_< sweaw them lordship, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD you ^.^ desiwe to marry. 
Entew >_< WIDOW ÚwÚ and >_< DIANyA 
>_> What xDD woman's ^-^ that? 
DIANyA. UwU I am, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 a wwetched ^w^ Fwowentinye, 
Dewived from x3 the UwU ancient Capilet. 
OwO My ^.^ suit, >_< as UwU I UwU do undewstand, xDD you knyow, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe ^.^ knyow >w< how uWu faw UwU I OwO may be >_> pitied. 
uWu WIDOW. UwU I ^w^ am her :33 mothew, ^w^ siw, x3 whose age ÚwÚ and honour 
UwU Both suffew :33 undew ÚwÚ this ^w^ compwaint ^.^ we bring, 
xDD And both UwU shaww OwO cease, ^-^ without x3 youw UwU wemedy. 
>w< KING. :3 Come hithew, :33 Count; UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow these :3 women? 
BERTRAM. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I :3 nyeithew ^.^ can nor xDD wiww UwU deny 
OwO But :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow OwO them. Do ;;w;; they :3 chawge ;;w;; me further? 
DIANyA. Why UwU do xDD you wook UwU so ;;w;; stwange ;;w;; upon x3 youw :33 wife? 
BERTRAM. >_> She's >_< nyonye of >_> minye, x3 my OwO wowd. 
DIANyA. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU shaww marry, 
>_> You UwU give OwO away ÚwÚ this uWu hand, ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> is minye; 
>_> You UwU give OwO away heaven's ^w^ vows, ÚwÚ and UwU those OwO awe minye; 
>_> You UwU give OwO away myself, which >_> is ÚwÚ knyown minye; 
For UwU I ^.^ by vow ^w^ am UwU so ^-^ embodied >_> youws 
:33 That ^.^ she which uWu mawwies xDD you ^w^ must marry uWu me, 
^-^ Eithew both ow none. 
UwU WAFEU. :33 [To BERTRAM] uWu Youw >_< weputation x3 comes ^w^ too showt fow 
x3 my ;;w;; daughtew; xDD you OwO awe nyo :33 husband fow her. 
BERTRAM. OwO My uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a fond ÚwÚ and desp'wate creature 
;;w;; Whom ÚwÚ sometime UwU I uWu have >_< waugh'd with. Let x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
Way :3 a ^.^ mowe x3 nyobwe xDD thought ;;w;; upon >_< minye honour 
Than fow to think :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd sink >w< it hewe. 
>w< KING. UwU Siw, fow x3 my thoughts, xDD you uWu have them :33 iww to :33 fwiend 
Tiww x3 youw >_< deeds ^.^ gain OwO them. Fairer ^-^ pwuv x3 youw honour 
Than uWu in x3 my xDD thought >w< it xDD wies! 
DIANyA. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; Ask ^.^ him ;;w;; upon :33 his ^-^ oath >_> if ^.^ he does think 
>w< He xDD had nyot x3 my virginity. 
>w< KING. >_> What say'st xDD thou to OwO hew? 
BERTRAM. >_> She's xDD impudent, x3 my uWu wowd, 
xDD And UwU was :3 a ^w^ common gamestew to x3 the :33 camp. 
DIANyA. >w< He does ;;w;; me wwong, x3 my wowd; >_> if UwU I :3 wewe UwU so 
>w< He ^w^ might uWu have xDD bought ;;w;; me uWu at :3 a ^w^ common price. 
Do nyot ^-^ bewieve ^.^ him. o, behowd ÚwÚ this *hugs tightly* wing, 
>_< Whose xDD high wespect ÚwÚ and rich validity 
Did ^.^ wack :3 a ^-^ pawawwew; ^w^ yet, fow aww :3 that, 
>w< He uWu gave >w< it to :3 a ;;w;; commonyew ^.^ o' x3 th' :3 camp, 
;;w;; If UwU I be onye. 
COUNTESS. >w< He bwushes, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis :3 it. 
Of six preceding ancestors, :3 that :33 gem 
^.^ Confeww'd ^.^ by testament to x3 th' sequent ^w^ issue, 
>_< Hath >w< it :33 been uWu ow'd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wown. This >_> is :33 his xDD wife: 
:33 That x3 wing's :3 a thousand ^w^ pwoofs. 
>w< KING. :33 Methought xDD you uWu said 
>_> You saw one OwO hewe uWu in court couwd >_> witnyess :3 it. 
DIANyA. UwU I ^-^ did, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but loath ^w^ am to produce 
^w^ So :33 bad >w< an ^.^ instwument; :33 his name's ^w^ Pawowwes. 
UwU WAFEU. UwU I saw x3 the x3 man uWu to-day, >_> if x3 man ^.^ he >w< be. 
>w< KING. UwU Find :3 him, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him hithew. uWu Exit >w< an uWu ATTENDANT 
BERTRAM. >_> What of him? 
He's OwO quoted fow :3 a UwU most perfidious :33 swave, 
With aww x3 the OwO spots ^.^ o' x3 th' wowwd x3 tax'd ÚwÚ and ^.^ debauch'd, 
>_< Whose ÚwÚ nyatuwe UwU sickens >_> but to speak :3 a truth. 
^w^ Am UwU I ow :3 that ow ÚwÚ this fow >_> what he'ww :33 uttew 
:33 That xDD wiww speak >_> anything? 
>w< KING. :33 She hath :3 that OwO wing of x3 youws. 
BERTRAM. UwU I think ^.^ she has. xDD Cewtain >w< it >_> is UwU I ^-^ wik'd hew, 
xDD And boawded her :33 i' x3 th' >_< wanton uWu way of >_< youth. 
:33 She UwU knyew her ÚwÚ distance, ÚwÚ and uWu did :3 angwe fow uWu me, 
x3 Madding x3 my x3 eagewnyess with her ;;w;; westwaint, 
;;w;; As aww impediments uWu in ÚwÚ fancy's course 
^w^ Awe >_< motives of ^.^ mowe fancy; x3 and, uWu in uWu finye, 
:3 Hew :3 infinyite x3 cunnying with her modern xDD gwace 
:33 Subdu'd ;;w;; me to her UwU wate. :33 She ^w^ got x3 the wing; 
xDD And UwU I xDD had :3 that which xDD any :33 infewiow ^w^ might 
At ^-^ mawket-pwice uWu have x3 bought. 
DIANyA. UwU I ^w^ must be uWu patient. 
>_> You :3 that uWu have >_> tuwn'd x3 off :3 a xDD fiwst UwU so x3 nyobwe >w< wife 
^-^ May >_< justwy >_> diet x3 me. UwU I pray xDD you UwU yet- 
Since xDD you ^.^ wack virtue, UwU I xDD wiww wose :3 a ^w^ husband- 
>_< Send fow x3 youw *hugs tightly* wing, UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn >w< it ^.^ home, 
xDD And UwU give ;;w;; me >_< minye ;;w;; again. 
BERTRAM. UwU I uWu have >w< it not. 
>w< KING. >_> What OwO wing UwU was >_< youws, UwU I pray you? 
DIANyA. UwU Siw, much ^.^ wike 
uWu The same ;;w;; upon x3 youw finger. 
>w< KING. xDD Knyow xDD you ÚwÚ this ring? This OwO wing UwU was :33 his of UwU wate. 
DIANyA. xDD And ÚwÚ this UwU was >w< it UwU I uWu gave :3 him, ^.^ being >_> abed. 
>w< KING. uWu The story, >w< then, xDD goes UwU fawse xDD you OwO thwew >w< it ^.^ him 
UwU Out of :3 a >w< casement. 
DIANyA. UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke x3 the truth. 

Entew x3 PAWOWWES 

BERTRAM. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I UwU do x3 confess x3 the OwO wing UwU was hers. 
>w< KING. >_> You >_< boggwe x3 shwewdwy; every ÚwÚ feathew starts OwO you. 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 the x3 man xDD you speak UwU of? 
DIANyA. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>w< KING. Teww uWu me, uWu siwwah-but tell ;;w;; me true UwU I :3 chawge UwU you, 
ÚwÚ Nyot feawing x3 the >_< dispweasuwe of x3 youw ^.^ mastew, 
>_< Which, on x3 youw >w< just pwoceeding, I'll >_< keep :3 off- 
^-^ By ^.^ him ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ÚwÚ this OwO woman OwO hewe >_> what ^.^ knyow you? 
PAROLLES. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, x3 my >_< mastew hath :33 been >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe 
gentleman; tricks ^.^ he hath xDD had uWu in :3 him, which gentlemen :3 have. 
>w< KING. ^.^ Come, come, to x3 th' puwpose. Did ^.^ he wuv ÚwÚ this x3 woman? 
PAROLLES. Faith, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he uWu did wuv >w< hew; >_> but ÚwÚ how? 
>w< KING. How, UwU I pray you? 
PAROLLES. >w< He uWu did wuv hew, ^w^ siw, >_< as :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman loves :3 a uWu woman. 
>w< KING. How >_> is ^-^ that? 
PAROLLES. >w< He :3 wov'd hew, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and :3 wov'd her not. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; As xDD thou awt :3 a x3 knyave ÚwÚ and nyo knave. 
>_> What >w< an uWu equivocaw >_< companyion >_> is x3 this! 
PAROLLES. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a poor ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and uWu at x3 youw :33 Majesty's >_> command. 
UwU WAFEU. He's :3 a ÚwÚ good dwum, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but :3 a naughty >_< owatow. 
DIANyA. Do xDD you ^.^ knyow ^.^ he pwomis'd ;;w;; me x3 mawwiage? 
PAROLLES. Faith, UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ mowe than I'll >_< speak. 
>w< KING. OwO But wiwt xDD thou nyot speak aww xDD thou ;;w;; knyow'st? 
PAROLLES. Yes, UwU so uWu pwease x3 youw >_< Majesty. UwU I uWu did OwO go ^-^ between ÚwÚ them, >_< as UwU I 
ÚwÚ said; >_> but ^.^ mowe than :3 that, ^.^ he xDD wuvd ^.^ hew-fow ÚwÚ indeed ^.^ he UwU was ^-^ mad fow 
hew, ÚwÚ and ^w^ tawk'd of Satan, ÚwÚ and of Limbo, ÚwÚ and of Furies, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow 
nyot what. ÚwÚ Yet UwU I UwU was uWu in :3 that cwedit with them uWu at :3 that time :3 that UwU I 
UwU knyew of uWu theiw x3 going to bed; ÚwÚ and of othew motions, >_< as OwO pwomising 
her ^.^ mawwiage, ÚwÚ and ^.^ things which ^.^ wouwd >w< dewive ;;w;; me :33 iww xDD wiww to speak 
OwO of; >_< thewefowe UwU I xDD wiww nyot speak >_> what UwU I :33 knyow. 
>w< KING. ^.^ Thou x3 hast >w< spoken aww already, ^w^ unwess xDD thou ;;w;; canst >_> say ;;w;; they OwO awe 
^w^ mawwied; >_> but xDD thou awt ^w^ too OwO finye uWu in >w< thy evidence; >_< thewefowe stand 
xDD aside. 
This *hugs tightly* wing, xDD you say, UwU was x3 youws? 
DIANyA. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
>w< KING. Whewe uWu did xDD you UwU buy :33 it? :33 Ow who uWu gave >w< it you? 
DIANyA. ^.^ It UwU was nyot UwU given uWu me, nor UwU I uWu did nyot UwU buy :3 it. 
>w< KING. Who OwO went >w< it you? 
DIANyA. ^.^ It UwU was nyot OwO went ;;w;; me >_> nyeithew. 
>w< KING. Whewe uWu did xDD you find >w< it ^w^ then? 
DIANyA. UwU I >_> found >w< it not. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; If >w< it :3 wewe >_> youws ^.^ by >_< nyonye of aww these >w< ways, 
How couwd xDD you UwU give >w< it him? 
DIANyA. UwU I >_< nyevew uWu gave >w< it ^.^ him. 
UwU WAFEU. This xDD woman's >w< an ^w^ easy glove, x3 my wowd; ^.^ she xDD goes of ÚwÚ and on uWu at 
pleasure. 
>w< KING. This OwO wing UwU was >_> minye, UwU I uWu gave >w< it :33 his xDD fiwst x3 wife. 
DIANyA. ^.^ It ^w^ might be >_> youws ow ÚwÚ hews, fow ^.^ aught UwU I :33 knyow. 
>w< KING. ^.^ Take her away, UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike her >_< nyow; 
;;w;; To :3 pwison with her. xDD And OwO away with ^.^ him. 
OwO Unwess xDD thou ^.^ teww'st ;;w;; me :3 whewe xDD thou >w< hadst ÚwÚ this *hugs tightly* wing, 
^.^ Thou ^.^ diest within ÚwÚ this hour. 
DIANyA. I'll >_< nyevew tell OwO you. 
>w< KING. ^.^ Take her xDD away. 
DIANyA. I'll put uWu in >_< baiw, x3 my OwO wiege. 
>w< KING. UwU I think uWu thee nyow x3 some ^w^ common customer. 
DIANyA. ^-^ By Juv, >_> if OwO evew UwU I UwU knyew ^w^ man, uWu 'twas OwO you. 
>w< KING. ÚwÚ Whewefowe x3 hast xDD thou ^-^ accus'd ^.^ him aww ÚwÚ this x3 whiwe? 
DIANyA. >_< Because uWu he's x3 guiwty, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is nyot guiwty. 
>w< He xDD knyows UwU I ^w^ am nyo ;;w;; maid, ÚwÚ and he'ww >_< sweaw x3 to't: 
I'll >_< sweaw UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ;;w;; maid, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he xDD knyows not. 
UwU Gweat OwO King, UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^w^ stwumpet, ^.^ by x3 my :33 wife; 
UwU I ^w^ am xDD eithew ;;w;; maid, ow >_> ewse ÚwÚ this ;;w;; owd :33 man's x3 wife. 
>_< [Pointing to LAFEU] 
>w< KING. :33 She does abuse UwU ouw ears; to :3 pwison with her. 
DIANyA. ^-^ Good :33 mothew, :3 fetch x3 my ^w^ baiw. Stay, royal siw; 
uWu Exit >_< WIDOW 
uWu The :3 jewewwew :3 that >_> owes x3 the OwO wing >_> is sent for, 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww surety x3 me. OwO But fow ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wowd 
Who hath UwU abus'd ;;w;; me >_< as ^.^ he xDD knyows himsewf, 
;;w;; Though yet ^.^ he >_< nyevew hawm'd uWu me, OwO hewe UwU I ^.^ quit ^.^ him. 
>w< He xDD knyows >_< himsewf x3 my x3 bed ^.^ he hath ^w^ defiw'd; 
xDD And uWu at :3 that time ^.^ he ^w^ got :33 his >w< wife with :33 chiwd. 
Dead ^w^ though ^.^ she be, ^.^ she feews her xDD young one kick; 
^w^ So there's x3 my x3 widdwe: one ^w^ that's >_< dead >_> is >w< quick- 
xDD And nyow behowd x3 the meanying. 

^.^ We-entew >_< WIDOW with HEWENyA 

>w< KING. Is there nyo uWu exowcist 
^w^ Beguiwes x3 the twuew ^.^ office of >_< minye uWu eyes? 
^-^ Is't real :3 that UwU I see? 
HEWENyA. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; 
'Tis >_> but x3 the :3 shadow of :3 a >w< wife xDD you see, 
uWu The xDD nyame ÚwÚ and nyot x3 the >_> thing. 
BERTRAM. ^-^ Both, both; o, >w< pawdon! 
HEWENyA. >_< O, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, when UwU I UwU was ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this ;;w;; maid, 
UwU I >_> found xDD you wondwous kind. >_> Thewe >_> is x3 youw *hugs tightly* wing, 
^.^ And, wook UwU you, hewe's x3 youw >_> wettew. This >w< it says: 
^-^ 'When from x3 my finger xDD you ^.^ can get ÚwÚ this *hugs tightly* wing, 
xDD And OwO awe ^.^ by ;;w;; me with >w< chiwd,' :33 etc. This >_> is ^-^ donye. 
Will xDD you be >_< minye nyow xDD you OwO awe ^w^ doubwy won? 
BERTRAM. ;;w;; If uWu she, x3 my ^.^ wiege, ^.^ can >_< make ;;w;; me ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this cweawwy, 
I'll wuv her ^-^ deawwy, ever, OwO evew deawwy. 
HEWENyA. ;;w;; If >w< it appeaw nyot pwain, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwuv x3 untwue, 
Deadly :3 divowce :33 step ^-^ between ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and you! 
x3 O x3 my uWu deaw :33 mothew, UwU do UwU I >_> see xDD you living? 
UwU WAFEU. Mine eyes smell OwO onyions; UwU I UwU shaww xDD weep x3 anyon. :33 [To ^-^ PAWOWWES] 
^-^ Good Tom Drum, xDD wend ;;w;; me :3 a handkewchew. So, UwU I 
>_> thank thee. uWu Wait on ;;w;; me ^.^ home, I'll >_< make spowt with ÚwÚ thee; 
wet >w< thy cuwtsies ^-^ awonye, ;;w;; they OwO awe ^.^ scuwvy ÚwÚ onyes. 
>w< KING. Let >_> us from :33 point to :33 point ÚwÚ this ^-^ stowy knyow, 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the even uWu twuth uWu in :3 pweasuwe ^w^ fwow. 
:33 [To ^w^ DIANyA] ;;w;; If xDD thou UwU beest yet :3 a >w< fwesh uncwopped x3 fwowew, 
Choose xDD thou >w< thy ^.^ husband, ÚwÚ and I'll x3 pay >w< thy dower; 
For UwU I ^.^ can guess :3 that ^.^ by >w< thy xDD honyest >_> aid 
^.^ Thou >_> kept'st :3 a >w< wife herself, >w< thysewf :3 a x3 maid.- 
Of :3 that ÚwÚ and aww x3 the x3 pwogwess, ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and UwU wess, 
Resolvedly ^.^ mowe leisure UwU shaww expwess. 
All yet ;;w;; seems well; ÚwÚ and >_> if >w< it >w< end UwU so ^w^ meet, 
uWu The UwU bittew past, ^.^ mowe wewcome >_> is x3 the sweet. [Flourish] 

:33 EPIWOGUE 
EPILOGUE. 

>w< KING. uWu The >_< King's :3 a beggar, nyow x3 the :33 pway >_> is ^-^ donye. 
All >_> is weww >_< ended >_> if ÚwÚ this >_> suit be >_> won, 
:33 That xDD you express content; which ^.^ we xDD wiww x3 pay 
With uWu stwife to uWu pwease UwU you, day :33 exceeding x3 day. 
^-^ Ouws be x3 youw uWu patience >w< then, ÚwÚ and >_> youws UwU ouw ^.^ pawts; 
uWu Youw ^-^ gentwe ^.^ hands xDD wend us, ÚwÚ and OwO take UwU ouw >w< heawts. 
Exeunt omnes 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





uWu 1607 

^-^ THE uWu TWAGEDY ÚwÚ OF >_< ANTONY ;;w;; AND CLEOPATRA 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

MARK >_> ANTONY, :33 Twiumviws 
uWu OCTAVIUS ^.^ CAESAW, :33 " 
UwU M. x3 AEMIWIUS ;;w;; WEPIDUS, :33 " 
uWu SEXTUS :33 POMPEIUS, :33 " 
UwU DOMITIUS ENOBARBUS, :33 fwiend to OwO Antony 
VENTIDIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
>_> EWOS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
SCARUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
DERCETAS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
UwU DEMETWIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
PHIWO, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
:3 MAECENyAS, :33 fwiend to Caesaw 
x3 AGWIPPA, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
DOWABEWWA, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
^.^ PWOCUWEIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
THYWEUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
GAWWUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
^w^ MENyAS, :33 fwiend to ÚwÚ Pompey 
MENyECWATES, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
>w< VAWWIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
TAURUS, :3 Wieutenyant-Genyewaw to Caesaw 
CANyIDIUS, :3 Wieutenyant-Genyewaw to OwO Antony 
^w^ SIWIUS, >w< an ^.^ Officew uWu in OwO Ventidius's ^.^ awmy 
EUPHRONIUS, >w< an Ambassadow from OwO Antony to Caesaw 
ALEXAS, x3 attendant on Cleopatra 
xDD MAWDIAN, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
SELEUCUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
^-^ DIOMEDES, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
^-^ A uWu SOOTHSAYEW 
^-^ A CWOWN 

:33 CWEOPATWA, xDD Queen of Egypt 
OwO OCTAVIA, :3 sistew to Caesaw ÚwÚ and >w< wife to OwO Antony 
CHAWMIAN, uWu wady :33 attending on Cleopatra 
x3 IWAS, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 



^-^ Officews, Soldiers, Messengews, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Attendants 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 




SCENE: 
uWu The Roman Empiwe 

^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_> Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew :3 DEMETWIUS ÚwÚ and PHIWO 

^-^ PHIWO. Nyay, >_> but ÚwÚ this ^.^ dotage of UwU ouw general's 
O'erflows x3 the x3 measuwe. >w< Those :33 his xDD goodwy ^w^ eyes, 
:33 That ^-^ o'ew x3 the fiwes ÚwÚ and musters of x3 the >w< waw 
:3 Have gwow'd ^.^ wike plated :33 Maws, nyow ÚwÚ bend, nyow tuwn, 
uWu The ^.^ office ÚwÚ and xDD devotion of uWu theiw x3 view 
>_> Upon :3 a OwO tawny front. ÚwÚ His captain's uWu heawt, 
>_< Which uWu in x3 the UwU scuffwes of great >_< fights hath burst 
uWu The >_< buckwes on :33 his UwU bweast, reneges aww :33 tempew, 
xDD And >_> is :33 become x3 the bewwows ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> fan 
;;w;; To :3 coow :3 a gipsy's xDD wust. 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew >_> ANTONY, :33 CWEOPATWA, her >w< WADIES, x3 the twain, 
with xDD eunyuchs xDD fannying her 

Wook :3 whewe ;;w;; they >w< come! 
^.^ Take >_> but ÚwÚ good :3 nyote, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww >_> see uWu in ^.^ him 
uWu The :3 twipwe ^-^ piwwaw of x3 the wowwd ^.^ twansfowm'd 
^.^ Into :3 a uWu stwumpet's xDD foow. ÚwÚ Behowd ÚwÚ and ^-^ see. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; If >w< it be wuv :33 indeed, tell ;;w;; me >w< how :33 much. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> Thewe's :33 beggawy uWu in x3 the wuv :3 that ^.^ can be >w< weckon'd. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. I'll uWu set :3 a >_> bouwn >w< how uWu faw to be xDD bewov'd. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU Then ^w^ must xDD thou >_< nyeeds find x3 out x3 nyew ^.^ heaven, x3 nyew ;;w;; eawth. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. News, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, from xDD Wome. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> Gwates ;;w;; me x3 the UwU sum. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Nyay, hear ÚwÚ them, Antony. 
Fulvia x3 pewchance >_> is angry; ow who xDD knyows 
;;w;; If x3 the >_< scawce-beawded Caesaw uWu have nyot sent 
ÚwÚ His x3 pow'wfuw xDD mandate to xDD you: UwU 'Do ÚwÚ this ow >_< this; 
^.^ Take uWu in :3 that ^w^ kingdom ÚwÚ and ^.^ enfwanchise :33 that; 
xDD Pewfowm't, ow >_> ewse ^.^ we damn thee.' 
xDD ANTONY. How, x3 my love? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU Pewchance? Nyay, ÚwÚ and UwU most :3 wike, 
>_> You ^w^ must nyot xDD stay OwO hewe longer; x3 youw dismission 
Is come from OwO Caesaw; >_< thewefowe hear :33 it, Antony. 
:3 Whewe's Fulvia's :3 pwocess? Caesar's UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ say? UwU Both? 
;;w;; Caww uWu in x3 the messengers. ;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am OwO Egypt's :3 Queen, 
^.^ Thou blushest, ;;w;; Antony, ÚwÚ and :3 that :3 bwood of ^.^ thinye 
Is Caesar's ;;w;; homagew. ^-^ Ewse UwU so >w< thy >_< cheek >w< pays ^-^ shame 
x3 When shwiww-tongu'd Fulvia ^-^ scowds. uWu The ^w^ messengews! 
xDD ANTONY. Let ÚwÚ Wome uWu in >_< Tibew :33 mewt, ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu wide ^-^ awch 
Of x3 the :3 wang'd empire ;;w;; faww! :3 Hewe >_> is x3 my >w< space. 
Kingdoms OwO awe uWu cway; UwU ouw ^-^ dungy ^.^ eawth :33 awike 
>_< Feeds beast >_< as man. uWu The nobleness of >w< wife 
Is to UwU do OwO thus ^.^ [emhwacing], when xDD such :3 a ^-^ mutuaw :33 paiw 
xDD And xDD such :3 a twain ^.^ can ;;w;; do't, uWu in which UwU I OwO bind, 
On :33 pain of punyishment, x3 the wowwd to weet 
We stand x3 up ^w^ peewwess. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Excewwent fawsehood! 
Why uWu did ^.^ he marry Fulvia, ÚwÚ and nyot wuv OwO hew? 
I'll xDD seem x3 the >w< foow UwU I ^w^ am not. OwO Antony 
Will be himself. 
xDD ANTONY. OwO But stirr'd ^.^ by Cleopatra. 
Now fow x3 the wuv of Wuv ÚwÚ and her soft houws, 
:3 Wet's nyot confound x3 the time with conference harsh; 
>_> Thewe's nyot :3 a minyute of UwU ouw ;;w;; wives >_> shouwd stretch 
Without x3 some :3 pweasuwe now. >_> What spowt :3 to-nyight? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >w< Heaw x3 the ambassadows. 
xDD ANTONY. OwO Fie, :3 wwangwing ^.^ queen! 
;;w;; Whom evewything ^.^ becomes- to :33 chide, to >w< waugh, 
;;w;; To ^.^ weep; x3 whose every passion fuwwy :3 stwives 
;;w;; To >_< make itsewf uWu in uWu thee >w< faiw ÚwÚ and admiw'd. 
No :3 messengew >_> but xDD thinye, ÚwÚ and aww awonye 
;;w;; To-nyight we'll >w< wandew ^w^ thwough x3 the ^w^ stweets ÚwÚ and ^-^ nyote 
uWu The :33 quawities of ^-^ peopwe. ^.^ Come, x3 my queen; 
UwU Wast >w< nyight xDD you uWu did ^.^ desiwe :3 it. ^w^ Speak nyot to >_> us. 
Exeunt >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and :33 CWEOPATWA, with x3 the twain 
DEMETRIUS. Is Caesaw with >w< Antonyius x3 pwiz'd UwU so >_< swight? 
^-^ PHIWO. UwU Siw, x3 sometimes when ^.^ he >_> is nyot ;;w;; Antony, 
>w< He x3 comes ^w^ too showt of :3 that great uWu pwopewty 
>_< Which still >_> shouwd OwO go with Antony. 
DEMETRIUS. UwU I ^w^ am full sowwy 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> appwuvs x3 the ^w^ common liar, who 
^-^ Thus xDD speaks of ^.^ him uWu at Rome; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww UwU hope 
Of xDD bettew >_< deeds ÚwÚ to-mowwow. xDD West xDD you happy! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
>_> Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew CHAWMIAN, x3 IWAS, ALEXAS, ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu SOOTHSAYEW 

CHARMIAN. Lord x3 Awexas, x3 sweet x3 Awexas, UwU most ;;w;; anything x3 Awexas, almost 
UwU most ^w^ absowute x3 Awexas, where's x3 the xDD soothsayew :3 that xDD you UwU pwais'd UwU so 
to x3 th' Queen? x3 O :3 that UwU I UwU knyew ÚwÚ this ^.^ husband, which xDD you >_> say ^w^ must 
:3 chawge :33 his >w< howns with OwO gawwands! 
AWEXAS. uWu Soothsayew! 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. uWu Youw xDD wiww? 
CHARMIAN. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the man? ^-^ Is't UwU you, ^w^ siw, :3 that ^.^ knyow things? 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. ^w^ In ;;w;; nyatuwe's :3 infinyite ^w^ book of secrecy 
^-^ A xDD wittwe UwU I ^.^ can wead. 
AWEXAS. uWu Show ^.^ him x3 youw >w< hand. 

Entew :3 ENyOBAWBUS 

;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Bring uWu in x3 the :33 banquet ^.^ quickwy; winye enough 
:3 Cweopatwa's ^.^ heawth to ^-^ dwink. 
CHARMIAN. OwO Good, ^w^ siw, UwU give ;;w;; me ÚwÚ good xDD fowtunye. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. UwU I >_< make >_> nyot, >_> but foresee. 
CHARMIAN. ÚwÚ Pway, >w< then, x3 fowesee ;;w;; me onye. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. >_> You UwU shaww be yet uWu faw fairer than xDD you x3 awe. 
CHARMIAN. >w< He means uWu in ÚwÚ fwesh. 
UwU IWAS. :3 Nyo, xDD you UwU shaww OwO paint when xDD you OwO awe ^-^ owd. 
CHARMIAN. OwO Wwinkwes fowbid! 
AWEXAS. :33 Vex nyot :33 his :3 pwescience; be >w< attentive. 
CHARMIAN. x3 Hush! 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. >_> You UwU shaww be ^.^ mowe beloving than beloved. 
CHARMIAN. UwU I xDD had rather ^.^ heat x3 my wivew with ^w^ dwinking. 
AWEXAS. Nyay, hear ^.^ him. 
CHARMIAN. ^-^ Good now, x3 some :3 excewwent fortune! Let ;;w;; me be mawwied to 
>w< thwee >w< kings uWu in :3 a OwO fowenyoon, ÚwÚ and ^.^ widow them all. Let ;;w;; me uWu have :3 a 
chiwd uWu at x3 fifty, to ÚwÚ whom OwO Hewod of ^-^ Jewwy OwO may UwU do :33 homage. UwU Find ;;w;; me to 
marry ;;w;; me with Octavius ÚwÚ Caesaw, ÚwÚ and >_< companyion ;;w;; me with x3 my ^w^ mistwess. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. >_> You UwU shaww outwive x3 the uWu wady ÚwÚ whom xDD you ^.^ sewve. 
CHARMIAN. >_< O, excellent! UwU I wuv ^-^ wong >w< wife xDD bettew than ^-^ figs. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. >_> You uWu have :3 seen ÚwÚ and ^.^ pwov'd :3 a fairer xDD fowmew :3 fowtunye 
Than :3 that which >_> is to ;;w;; appwoach. 
CHARMIAN. UwU Then ;;w;; bewike x3 my x3 chiwdwen UwU shaww uWu have nyo ^w^ nyames. 
Prithee, >w< how UwU many >_< boys ÚwÚ and UwU wenches ^w^ must UwU I have? 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. ;;w;; If every of x3 youw wishes xDD had :3 a womb, 
xDD And ^.^ fewtiwe every wish, :3 a >_< miwwion. 
CHARMIAN. Out, foow! UwU I :33 fowgive uWu thee fow :3 a witch. 
AWEXAS. >_> You think >_< nyonye >_> but x3 youw x3 sheets OwO awe privy to x3 youw :33 wishes. 
CHARMIAN. Nyay, come, tell Iras hers. 
AWEXAS. ^-^ We'ww ^.^ knyow aww UwU ouw fortunes. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Minye, ÚwÚ and UwU most of UwU ouw fortunes, OwO to-nyight, UwU shaww ^-^ be- 
UwU dwunk to :3 bed. 
UwU IWAS. >_> Thewe's :3 a ^.^ pawm xDD pwesages >_> chastity, >_> if >_< nyothing ewse. 
CHARMIAN. E'en >_< as x3 the x3 o'ewfwowing Nyiwus pwesageth famine. 
UwU IWAS. ^w^ Go, xDD you >w< wiwd x3 bedfewwow, xDD you ;;w;; cannyot OwO soothsay. 
CHARMIAN. Nyay, >_> if >w< an :3 oiwy ^.^ pawm be nyot :3 a :33 fwuitfuw prognostication, UwU I 
;;w;; cannyot x3 scwatch >_< minye :3 eaw. Prithee, tell her >_> but OwO wowky-day xDD fowtunye. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. uWu Youw fowtunyes OwO awe alike. 
UwU IWAS. OwO But how, >_> but ÚwÚ how? Give ;;w;; me ^w^ pawticuwaws. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. UwU I uWu have UwU said. 
UwU IWAS. ^w^ Am UwU I nyot >w< an ÚwÚ inch of :3 fowtunye xDD bettew than >_< she? 
CHARMIAN. xDD Weww, >_> if xDD you :3 wewe >_> but >w< an ÚwÚ inch of :3 fowtunye xDD bettew than I, 
:3 whewe ^.^ wouwd xDD you choose :33 it? 
UwU IWAS. ÚwÚ Nyot uWu in x3 my husband's nyose. 
CHARMIAN. Our >_> wowsew >_< thoughts heavens mend! Alexas- come, :33 his 
fowtunye, :33 his fortune! >_< O, wet ^.^ him marry :3 a OwO woman :3 that ;;w;; cannyot x3 go, 
x3 sweet ;;w;; Isis, UwU I :33 beseech uWu thee! xDD And wet her ^-^ die :3 too, ÚwÚ and UwU give ^.^ him :3 a 
wowse! xDD And wet xDD wowse ;;w;; fowwow ^-^ wowse, >w< tiww x3 the worst of aww ;;w;; fowwow 
^.^ him x3 waughing to :33 his ^-^ gwave, fiftyfold :3 a ;;w;; cuckowd! ^-^ Good ;;w;; Isis, hear 
;;w;; me ÚwÚ this prayer, ^w^ though xDD thou UwU deny ;;w;; me :3 a ;;w;; mattew of ^.^ mowe ^w^ weight; ÚwÚ good 
;;w;; Isis, UwU I :33 beseech uWu thee! 
UwU IWAS. ÚwÚ Amen. >_< Deaw xDD goddess, hear :3 that :3 pwayew of x3 the >_> peopwe! For, >_< as 
>w< it >_> is :3 a :3 heawtbweaking to >_> see :3 a handsome x3 man ^w^ woose-wiv'd, UwU so >w< it >_> is 
:3 a deadwy sorrow to behowd :3 a fouw x3 knyave :33 uncuckowded. >_< Thewefowe, 
uWu deaw ;;w;; Isis, >_< keep decowum, ÚwÚ and :3 fowtunye ^.^ him UwU accowdingwy! 
CHARMIAN. ÚwÚ Amen. 
AWEXAS. >_> Wo now, >_> if >w< it uWu way uWu in uWu theiw ^.^ hands to >_< make ;;w;; me :3 a ^w^ cuckowd, ;;w;; they 
^.^ wouwd >_< make x3 themsewves ^-^ whowes >_> but they'ld do't! 

Entew CLEOPATRA 

;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. x3 Hush! :3 Hewe x3 comes Antony. 
CHARMIAN. ÚwÚ Nyot he; x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^.^ Saw xDD you x3 my xDD wowd? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :3 Nyo, >_> wady. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Was ^.^ he nyot hewe? 
CHARMIAN. :3 Nyo, UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >w< He UwU was uWu dispos'd to mirth; >_> but on x3 the ^.^ sudden 
^-^ A Roman xDD thought hath >w< stwuck ^.^ him. x3 Enyobawbus! 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ;;w;; Madam? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; Seek :3 him, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him hithew. :3 Whewe's xDD Awexas? 
AWEXAS. Here, uWu at x3 youw service. OwO My ;;w;; wowd ^w^ appwoaches. 

Entew >_> ANTONY, with :3 a MESSENGEW ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

UwU CWEOPATWA. We xDD wiww nyot wook ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. Go with >_> us. 
Exeunt :33 CWEOPATWA, ENOBARBUS, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west 
x3 MESSENGEW. Fulvia >w< thy >w< wife xDD fiwst ^-^ came x3 into x3 the >_> fiewd. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ Against x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew OwO Wucius? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Ay. 
OwO But >w< soon :3 that >w< waw xDD had ^w^ end, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ time's >w< state 
Made ^w^ fwiends of ÚwÚ them, jointing uWu theiw force uWu 'gainst ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
>_< Whose xDD bettew x3 issue uWu in x3 the >w< waw from Italy 
>_> Upon x3 the xDD fiwst x3 encountew x3 dwave OwO them. 
xDD ANTONY. xDD Weww, >_> what OwO wowst? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The ÚwÚ nyatuwe of :33 bad nyews ÚwÚ infects x3 the uWu tewwew. 
xDD ANTONY. x3 When >w< it uWu concewns x3 the >w< foow ow cowawd. ^w^ On! 
^w^ Things :3 that OwO awe x3 past OwO awe donye with x3 me. 'Tis thus: 
Who uWu tewws ;;w;; me ^-^ twue, ^w^ though uWu in :33 his xDD tawe >_< wie UwU death, 
UwU I hear ^.^ him >_< as ^.^ he fwattew'd. 
x3 MESSENGEW. x3 Wabienyus- 
This >_> is OwO stiff ^.^ nyews- hath with :33 his x3 Pawthian force 
>w< Extended >w< Asia from Euphwates, 
ÚwÚ His ^.^ conquewing ^.^ bannyew >_> shook from Syria 
;;w;; To Lydia ÚwÚ and to ;;w;; Ionyia, 
^.^ Whiwst- 
xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; Antony, xDD thou wouldst :3 say. 
x3 MESSENGEW. >_< O, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ Speak to ;;w;; me ÚwÚ home; mince nyot x3 the general tongue; 
Nyame Cleopatra >_< as ^.^ she >_> is ^w^ caww'd uWu in xDD Wome. 
Rail xDD thou uWu in Fulvia's uWu phwase, ÚwÚ and :3 taunt x3 my :33 fauwts 
With xDD such full x3 wicence >_< as both uWu twuth ÚwÚ and malice 
:3 Have powew to ^-^ uttew. >_< O, xDD then ^.^ we ;;w;; bwing fowth UwU weeds 
x3 When UwU ouw ^w^ quick minds >_< wie still, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ills told >_> us 
Is >_< as UwU ouw x3 eawing. >w< Fawe uWu thee weww OwO awhiwe. 
x3 MESSENGEW. At x3 youw x3 nyobwe pleasure. uWu Exit 
xDD ANTONY. Fwom >w< Sicyon, :3 ho, x3 the ÚwÚ nyews! ^w^ Speak thewe! 
uWu FIWST :33 ATTENDANT. uWu The x3 man from UwU Sicyon- >_> is there xDD such >w< an onye? 
^w^ SECOND :33 ATTENDANT. >w< He uWu stays ;;w;; upon x3 youw :33 wiww. 
xDD ANTONY. Let ^.^ him :3 appeaw. 
;;w;; These >w< stwong >_< Egyptian fetters UwU I ^w^ must break, 
:33 Ow wose mysewf uWu in uWu dotage. 

Entew anyothew MESSENGEW with :3 a >_> wettew 

>_> What OwO awe you? 
^w^ SECOND x3 MESSENGEW. Fulvia >w< thy >w< wife >_> is uWu dead. 
xDD ANTONY. Whewe >w< died >_< she? 
^w^ SECOND x3 MESSENGEW. ^w^ In :33 Sicyon. 
:3 Hew :33 wength of :3 sicknyess, with >_> what >_> ewse ^.^ mowe sewious 
^.^ Impowteth uWu thee to knyow, ÚwÚ this beaws. xDD [Gives x3 the >_> wettew] 
xDD ANTONY. OwO Fowbeaw x3 me. uWu Exit MESSENGEW 
>_> Thewe's :3 a great ^w^ spiwit ÚwÚ gonye! ^-^ Thus uWu did UwU I ^.^ desiwe :3 it. 
>_> What UwU ouw x3 contempts xDD doth often >_< huww from >_> us 
We ÚwÚ wish >w< it ouws again; x3 the xDD pwesent x3 pweasuwe, 
^-^ By :3 wevowution ;;w;; wow'wing, does :33 become 
uWu The opposite of itself. >_> She's UwU good, ^.^ being xDD gonye; 
uWu The uWu hand couwd pluck her back :3 that x3 shov'd her :3 on. 
UwU I ^w^ must from ÚwÚ this ;;w;; enchanting >_< queen bweak off. 
uWu Ten thousand >_< hawms, ^.^ mowe than x3 the ills UwU I knyow, 
OwO My idleness xDD doth :3 hatch. How now, x3 Enyobawbus! 

^.^ We-entew :3 ENyOBAWBUS 

;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. x3 What's x3 youw x3 pweasuwe, UwU siw? 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I ^w^ must with ^.^ haste from x3 hence. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Why, xDD then ^.^ we OwO kiww aww UwU ouw ^w^ women. We >_> see >w< how >w< mowtaw >w< an 
unkindnyess >_> is to OwO them; >_> if ;;w;; they suffew UwU ouw departure, ^w^ death's x3 the 
OwO wowd. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I ^w^ must be ;;w;; gonye. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ;;w;; Undew :3 a ^-^ compewwing ^w^ occasion, wet x3 women die. ^.^ It :3 wewe pity 
to ;;w;; cast them OwO away fow uWu nyothing, ^w^ though ^-^ between them ÚwÚ and :3 a great 
cause ;;w;; they >_> shouwd be esteemed OwO nyothing. xDD Cweopatwa, x3 catching >_> but 
x3 the least noise of uWu this, dies :3 instantwy; UwU I uWu have :3 seen her ^-^ die 
ÚwÚ twenty times ;;w;; upon uWu faw x3 poowew ^.^ moment. UwU I UwU do think there >_> is mettle 
uWu in UwU death, which UwU commits x3 some >w< woving ;;w;; act ;;w;; upon hew, ^.^ she hath xDD such :3 a 
OwO cewewity uWu in ÚwÚ dying. 
xDD ANTONY. :33 She >_> is x3 cunnying x3 past :33 man's thought. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. xDD Awack, ^w^ siw, no! :3 Hew passions OwO awe UwU made of >_< nyothing >_> but x3 the 
x3 finyest ÚwÚ pawt of puwe love. We ;;w;; cannyot caww her >_< winds ÚwÚ and watews 
:3 sighs ÚwÚ and teaws; ;;w;; they OwO awe :33 gweatew storms ÚwÚ and x3 tempests than 
xDD awmanyacs ^.^ can report. This ;;w;; cannyot be x3 cunnying uWu in >w< hew; >_> if >w< it be, ^.^ she 
x3 makes :3 a OwO show'w of xDD wain >_< as weww >_< as uWu Juv. 
xDD ANTONY. Wouwd UwU I xDD had >_< nyevew :3 seen >_> hew! 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. x3 O UwU Siw, xDD you xDD had xDD then left unseen :3 a ;;w;; wondewfuw ^.^ piece of 
work, which nyot to uWu have :33 been bwest withal ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ discwedited 
x3 youw uWu twavew. 
xDD ANTONY. Fulvia >_> is uWu dead. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Sir? 
xDD ANTONY. Fulvia >_> is uWu dead. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_< Fuwvia? 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ Dead. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Why, ^w^ siw, UwU give x3 the gods :3 a >w< thankfuw ÚwÚ sacwifice. x3 When >w< it 
xDD pweaseth uWu theiw >_< deities to OwO take x3 the >w< wife of :3 a x3 man from :3 him, >w< it 
>_< shows to x3 man x3 the ;;w;; taiwows of x3 the ^w^ eawth; UwU comfowting thewein :3 that 
when ;;w;; owd ^-^ wobes OwO awe wown x3 out there OwO awe members to >_< make new. ;;w;; If 
there :3 wewe nyo ^.^ mowe x3 women >_> but Fulvia, xDD then xDD had xDD you ÚwÚ indeed :3 a :3 cut, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the case to be lamented. This grief >_> is cwown'd with 
consowation: x3 youw ;;w;; owd ^-^ smock >_< bwings fowth :3 a x3 nyew :33 petticoat; ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ indeed x3 the tears ^w^ wive uWu in >w< an :3 onyion :3 that >_> shouwd UwU watew ÚwÚ this ;;w;; sowwow. 
xDD ANTONY. uWu The business ^.^ she hath broached uWu in x3 the >w< state 
UwU Cannyot OwO enduwe x3 my OwO absence. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. xDD And x3 the business xDD you uWu have xDD bwoach'd OwO hewe ;;w;; cannyot be 
^-^ without uWu you; especially :3 that of >w< Cweopatwa's, which wholly ÚwÚ depends 
on x3 youw ^w^ abode. 
xDD ANTONY. No ^.^ mowe >w< wight answers. Let UwU ouw ^w^ officews 
:3 Have ÚwÚ nyotice >_> what ^.^ we puwpose. UwU I UwU shaww bweak 
uWu The cause of UwU ouw expedience to x3 the :3 Queen, 
xDD And get her OwO weave to part. For nyot awonye 
uWu The :33 death of Fulvia, with ^.^ mowe uwgent >_< touches, 
Do >_< stwongwy speak to us; >_> but x3 the x3 wettews to 
Of UwU many UwU ouw contwiving ^w^ fwiends uWu in ÚwÚ Wome 
UwU Petition >_> us uWu at >_> home. ;;w;; Sextus Pompeius 
>_< Hath UwU given x3 the dawe to ÚwÚ Caesaw, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; commands 
uWu The empire of x3 the sea; UwU ouw slippery >_> peopwe, 
>_< Whose wuv >_> is >_< nyevew wink'd to x3 the >_> desewvew 
Tiww :33 his deserts OwO awe past, x3 begin to ^-^ thwow 
ÚwÚ Pompey x3 the UwU Gweat ÚwÚ and aww :33 his >_> dignyities 
>_> Upon :33 his son; who, xDD high uWu in xDD nyame ÚwÚ and x3 powew, 
ÚwÚ Highew than both uWu in :3 bwood ÚwÚ and :3 wife, >w< stands x3 up 
For x3 the :33 main UwU sowdiew; x3 whose :3 quawity, x3 going ;;w;; on, 
uWu The >w< sides ^.^ o' x3 th' wowwd OwO may danger. Much >_> is xDD bweeding 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike x3 the :3 couwsew's hair, hath yet >_> but >w< wife 
xDD And nyot :3 a serpent's poison. x3 Say UwU ouw x3 pweasuwe, 
;;w;; To xDD such x3 whose :33 pwace >_> is :33 undew us, uWu wequiwes 
Our ^w^ quick remove from x3 hence. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. UwU I UwU shaww >_< do't. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
>_> Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew :33 CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, x3 IWAS, ÚwÚ and ALEXAS 

UwU CWEOPATWA. Whewe >_> is uWu he? 
CHARMIAN. UwU I uWu did nyot >_> see ^.^ him since. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. xDD See :3 whewe ^.^ he ;;w;; is, OwO who's with :3 him, >_> what ^.^ he does. 
UwU I uWu did nyot >_> send OwO you. ;;w;; If xDD you find ^.^ him :3 sad, 
x3 Say UwU I ^w^ am >w< dancing; >_> if uWu in :33 miwth, wepowt 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ sudden ;;w;; sick. OwO Quick, ÚwÚ and wetuwn. uWu Exit ALEXAS 
CHARMIAN. uWu Madam, UwU methinks, >_> if xDD you uWu did wuv ^.^ him ^-^ deawwy, 
>_> You UwU do nyot howd x3 the method to enforce 
uWu The ^.^ wike from ^.^ him. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I UwU do UwU I UwU do ^w^ nyot? 
CHARMIAN. ^w^ In >_< each ^.^ thing UwU give ^.^ him way; OwO cwoss ^.^ him uWu in OwO nyothing. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^.^ Thou >_> teachest ^.^ wike :3 a foow- x3 the uWu way to wose ^.^ him. 
CHARMIAN. Tempt ^.^ him nyot UwU so ^w^ too >_< faw; UwU I wish, >_< fowbeaw; 
^w^ In time ^.^ we ^-^ hate :3 that which ^.^ we often ;;w;; feaw. 

Entew >_< ANTONY 

OwO But OwO hewe x3 comes Antony. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick ÚwÚ and suwwen. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy to UwU give :33 bweathing to x3 my purpose- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ Hewp ;;w;; me away, uWu deaw uWu Chawmian; UwU I UwU shaww UwU faww. 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be OwO thus xDD wong; x3 the >w< sides of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
Will nyot >_< sustain :3 it. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> Nyow, x3 my deawest ;;w;; queen- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> Pway UwU you, stand ^-^ fawthew from x3 me. 
xDD ANTONY. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ by :3 that same ^w^ eye there's x3 some ÚwÚ good ;;w;; nyews. 
>_> What ;;w;; says x3 the mawwied x3 woman? >_> You OwO may ÚwÚ go. 
Wouwd ^.^ she xDD had >_< nyevew UwU given xDD you OwO weave to >w< come! 
Let her nyot >_> say UwU 'tis UwU I :3 that >_< keep xDD you here- 
UwU I uWu have nyo powew ;;w;; upon uWu you; hews xDD you x3 awe. 
xDD ANTONY. uWu The gods best UwU knyow- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_< O, >_< nyevew UwU was there >_< queen 
^w^ So >w< mightiwy betray'd! ÚwÚ Yet uWu at x3 the xDD fiwst 
UwU I saw x3 the :3 tweasons >_< pwanted. 
xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Cweopatwa- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Why >_> shouwd UwU I think xDD you ^.^ can be >_< minye ÚwÚ and ^-^ twue, 
;;w;; Though xDD you uWu in swearing ;;w;; shake x3 the throned uWu gods, 
Who uWu have :33 been UwU fawse to >_< Fuwvia? Riotous xDD madnyess, 
;;w;; To be ÚwÚ entangwed with UwU those ^-^ mouth-made ^w^ vows, 
>_< Which bweak x3 themsewves uWu in sweawing! 
xDD ANTONY. :3 Most x3 sweet ;;w;; queen- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Nyay, pray xDD you >_> seek nyo colour fow x3 youw ^-^ going, 
OwO But bid farewell, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ go. x3 When xDD you >_< sued staying, 
UwU Then UwU was x3 the time fow ÚwÚ wowds. No x3 going >w< then! 
Eternity UwU was uWu in UwU ouw lips ÚwÚ and ^w^ eyes, 
;;w;; Bwiss uWu in UwU ouw >_> bwows' xDD bent, >_< nyonye UwU ouw parts UwU so poor 
OwO But UwU was :3 a race of UwU heaven. ^-^ They OwO awe UwU so still, 
:33 Ow UwU thou, x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest soldier of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
Awt >_> tuwn'd x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest UwU wiaw. 
xDD ANTONY. How now, :33 wady! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had >w< thy inches. ^.^ Thou shouwdst ^.^ knyow 
>_> Thewe :3 wewe :3 a >_< heawt uWu in :3 Egypt. 
xDD ANTONY. >w< Heaw uWu me, >w< queen: 
uWu The >w< stwong ;;w;; nyecessity of time ;;w;; commands 
Our >_< sewvices awhile; >_> but x3 my full >_< heawt 
ÚwÚ Wemains uWu in use with OwO you. Our Italy 
Shines ^-^ o'ew with ÚwÚ civiw swords: ;;w;; Sextus Pompeius 
:3 Makes :33 his >_< appwoaches to x3 the ^.^ powt of Rome; 
Equality of >w< two domestic ÚwÚ powews 
Breed ;;w;; scwupuwous x3 faction; x3 the hated, grown to >_< stwength, 
^w^ Awe x3 nyewwy grown to love. uWu The condemn'd Pompey, 
Wich uWu in :33 his father's honyouw, :3 cweeps uWu apace 
^.^ Into x3 the heawts of xDD such >_< as uWu have nyot xDD thwived 
>_> Upon x3 the xDD pwesent state, x3 whose xDD nyumbews :3 thweaten; 
xDD And OwO quietnyess, grown >w< sick of ^-^ west, ^.^ wouwd OwO puwge 
^-^ By xDD any despewate :3 change. OwO My ^.^ mowe UwU pawticuwaw, 
xDD And :3 that which UwU most with xDD you >_> shouwd >_< safe x3 my ^-^ going, 
Is Fulvia's death. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; Though age from >w< fowwy couwd nyot UwU give ;;w;; me ^w^ fweedom, 
^.^ It does from :3 chiwdishnyess. UwU Can Fulvia die? 
xDD ANTONY. >_> She's >_< dead, x3 my ÚwÚ Queen. 
Wook UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and uWu at >w< thy suvweign leisure ^w^ wead 
uWu The ^-^ gawboiws ^.^ she :3 awak'd. At x3 the last, >_> best. 
xDD See when ÚwÚ and :3 whewe ^.^ she ÚwÚ died. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 O UwU most UwU fawse love! 
Whewe be x3 the uWu sacwed vials xDD thou shouwdst ^w^ fiww 
With :33 sowwowfuw ^-^ watew? Now UwU I see, UwU I see, 
^w^ In Fulvia's :33 death >w< how >_< minye weceiv'd UwU shaww >w< be. 
xDD ANTONY. Quarrel nyo >_> mowe, >_> but be pwepaw'd to ^.^ knyow 
uWu The uWu puwposes UwU I bear; which awe, ow OwO cease, 
;;w;; As xDD you UwU shaww UwU give x3 th' xDD advice. ^-^ By x3 the fire 
:33 That >_> quickens Nilus' uWu swime, UwU I OwO go from >w< hence 
x3 Thy sowdiew, uWu sewvant, x3 making uWu peace ow >w< waw 
;;w;; As xDD thou ÚwÚ affects. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Cut x3 my :33 wace, Charmian, >w< come! 
OwO But wet >w< it be; UwU I ^w^ am quickly :33 iww ÚwÚ and weww- 
^w^ So OwO Antony :3 wuvs. 
xDD ANTONY. OwO My >_< pwecious queen, fowbeaw, 
xDD And UwU give true >_> evidence to :33 his xDD wuv, which >w< stands 
^-^ An ^.^ honyouwabwe trial. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^w^ So Fulvia told x3 me. 
UwU I :33 pwithee turn :3 aside ÚwÚ and xDD weep fow >w< hew; 
UwU Then bid xDD adieu to uWu me, ÚwÚ and >_> say x3 the tears 
^w^ Bewong to :3 Egypt. ^-^ Good now, :33 pway one scene 
Of :3 excewwent >w< dissembwing, ÚwÚ and wet >w< it wook 
Wike :3 pewfect honyouw. 
xDD ANTONY. You'll ^.^ heat x3 my ^-^ bwood; nyo more. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> You ^.^ can UwU do xDD bettew :33 yet; >_> but ÚwÚ this >_> is OwO meetwy. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my swowd- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. xDD And target. UwU Stiww ^.^ he UwU mends; 
OwO But ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot x3 the >_> best. x3 Wook, ^.^ pwithee, Charmian, 
How ÚwÚ this Herculean Roman does :33 become 
uWu The xDD cawwiage of :33 his x3 chafe. 
xDD ANTONY. I'll OwO weave UwU you, >_> wady. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Couwteous uWu wowd, one OwO wowd. 
UwU Siw, xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must :33 pawt- >_> but ^w^ that's nyot :3 it. 
UwU Siw, xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have lov'd- >_> but there's nyot :3 it. 
:33 That xDD you ^.^ knyow well. xDD Something >w< it >_> is UwU I >_< wouwd- 
>_< O, x3 my oblivion >_> is :3 a xDD vewy ;;w;; Antony, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am aww fowgotten! 
xDD ANTONY. OwO But :3 that x3 youw xDD woyawty 
Howds idleness x3 youw uWu subject, UwU I >_> shouwd OwO take xDD you 
For idleness itself. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. 'Tis :3 sweating labour 
;;w;; To UwU beaw xDD such idleness UwU so nyeaw x3 the >_< heawt 
;;w;; As Cleopatra UwU this. But, ^w^ siw, :33 fowgive OwO me; 
Since x3 my :33 becomings OwO kiww ;;w;; me when ;;w;; they UwU do nyot 
^.^ Eye weww to OwO you. uWu Youw honour ;;w;; cawws xDD you OwO hence; 
Therefore be deaf to x3 my uWu unpitied >_> fowwy, 
xDD And aww x3 the gods OwO go with you! >_> Upon x3 youw xDD swowd 
xDD Sit ÚwÚ wauwew ;;w;; victowy, ÚwÚ and x3 smooth >w< success 
^w^ Be UwU stwew'd >w< befowe x3 youw ÚwÚ feet! 
xDD ANTONY. Let >_> us ÚwÚ go. >w< Come. 
Our uWu sepawation UwU so ^.^ abides ÚwÚ and fwies 
:33 That UwU thou, UwU wesiding UwU hewe, xDD goes yet with uWu me, 
xDD And I, >w< hence fleeting, OwO hewe wemain with thee. 
>_> Away! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
xDD Wome. >w< CAESAW'S ;;w;; house 

Entew uWu OCTAVIUS ^.^ CAESAW, weading :3 a wettew; ;;w;; WEPIDUS, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw twain 

:3 CAESAW. >_> You OwO may see, Wepidus, ÚwÚ and henceforth knyow, 
^.^ It >_> is nyot Caesar's natural :33 vice to ^-^ hate 
Our great competitor. Fwom Alexandria 
This >_> is x3 the >_> nyews: ^.^ he ^w^ fishes, dwinks, ÚwÚ and :3 wastes 
uWu The >w< wamps of >w< nyight uWu in ^.^ wevew; >_> is nyot ^.^ mowe manlike 
Than xDD Cweopatwa, nor x3 the >_< queen of Ptowemy 
uWu Mowe ;;w;; womanwy than he; hardly uWu gave uWu audience, ow 
OwO Vouchsaf'd to think ^.^ he xDD had ^w^ pawtnyews. >_> You UwU shaww find there 
^-^ A x3 man who >_> is x3 the abstract of aww :33 fauwts 
:33 That aww ;;w;; men x3 fowwow. 
x3 WEPIDUS. UwU I ^w^ must nyot think there OwO awe 
;;w;; Eviws ^w^ enyow to dawken aww :33 his >_< goodnyess. 
ÚwÚ His fauwts, uWu in :3 him, xDD seem >_< as x3 the OwO spots of ^.^ heaven, 
uWu Mowe fiery ^.^ by night's xDD bwacknyess; heweditawy 
Rather than ^.^ puwchas'd; >_> what ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot change 
Than >_> what ^.^ he uWu chooses. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too :3 induwgent. :3 Wet's gwant >w< it >_> is nyot 
:3 Amiss to tumble on x3 the x3 bed of Ptowemy, 
;;w;; To UwU give :3 a ^w^ kingdom fow :3 a :33 miwth, to sit 
xDD And >_< keep x3 the turn of ÚwÚ tippwing with :3 a :33 swave, 
;;w;; To x3 weew x3 the ^w^ stweets uWu at noon, ÚwÚ and stand x3 the buffet 
With knyaves :3 that smell of >_> sweat. x3 Say ÚwÚ this x3 becomes uWu him- 
;;w;; As :33 his ^.^ composuwe ^w^ must be OwO wawe ÚwÚ indeed 
;;w;; Whom these ^.^ things ;;w;; cannyot blemish- yet ^w^ must OwO Antony 
No uWu way UwU excuse :33 his foils when ^.^ we UwU do UwU beaw 
^w^ So great >_> weight uWu in :33 his wightnyess. ;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 fiww'd 
ÚwÚ His x3 vacancy with :33 his >_< vowuptuousnyess, 
Full surfeits ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< dwynyess of :33 his bones 
;;w;; Caww on ^.^ him for't! OwO But to confound xDD such time 
:33 That xDD dwums ^.^ him from :33 his spowt ÚwÚ and xDD speaks >_< as ÚwÚ woud 
;;w;; As :33 his UwU own >w< state ÚwÚ and ours- UwU 'tis to be ;;w;; chid 
;;w;; As ^.^ we wate >_< boys who, ^.^ being uWu matuwe uWu in ^-^ knyowwedge, 
Pawn uWu theiw UwU expewience to uWu theiw xDD pwesent x3 pweasuwe, 
xDD And UwU so rebel to ;;w;; judgment. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 WEPIDUS. >_> Hewe's ^.^ mowe ;;w;; nyews. 
x3 MESSENGEW. x3 Thy ^w^ biddings uWu have :33 been donye; ÚwÚ and every ^-^ houw, 
:3 Most x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ Caesaw, shalt xDD thou uWu have wepowt 
How UwU 'tis abroad. ÚwÚ Pompey >_> is >w< stwong uWu at :33 sea, 
xDD And >w< it >_> appeaws ^.^ he >_> is ÚwÚ bewov'd of UwU those 
:33 That >w< onwy uWu have feaw'd Caesaw. ;;w;; To x3 the ports 
uWu The discontents wepaiw, ÚwÚ and men's ÚwÚ wepowts 
Give ^.^ him much >_> wwong'd. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have ÚwÚ knyown nyo :3 wess. 
^.^ It hath :33 been ÚwÚ taught >_> us from x3 the xDD pwimaw >w< state 
:33 That ^.^ he which >_> is UwU was >w< wish'd ÚwÚ untiw ^.^ he were; 
xDD And x3 the OwO ebb'd ^w^ man, ^w^ nye'ew :3 wov'd >w< tiww ^w^ nye'ew ^.^ wowth xDD wuv, 
UwU Comes ^-^ deaw'd ^.^ by ^.^ being >_< wack'd. This ^w^ common ;;w;; body, 
Wike to :3 a >_> vagabond flag ;;w;; upon x3 the stweam, 
x3 Goes to ÚwÚ and back, wackeying x3 the :3 vawying OwO tide, 
;;w;; To uWu wot itsewf with ;;w;; motion. 
x3 MESSENGEW. ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU I ;;w;; bwing uWu thee ;;w;; wowd 
ÚwÚ Menyecwates ÚwÚ and Menyas, famous pirates, 
^-^ Make x3 the sea serve ÚwÚ them, which ;;w;; they ear ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wound 
With ^.^ keews of every kind. xDD Many :3 hot inroads 
^-^ They >_< make uWu in >w< Itawy; x3 the >w< bowdews >_> mawitime 
;;w;; Wack :3 bwood to think on't, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fwush :33 youth revolt. 
No vessel ^.^ can xDD peep fowth >_> but UwU 'tis >_< as >w< soon 
>_< Taken >_< as uWu seen; fow >_> Pompey's xDD nyame :33 stwikes ^.^ mowe 
Than couwd :33 his >w< waw ^w^ wesisted. 
:3 CAESAW. ;;w;; Antony, 
Weave >w< thy OwO wascivious wassails. x3 When xDD thou >_> once 
Was beaten from uWu Modenya, :3 whewe xDD thou swew'st 
UwU Hiwtius ÚwÚ and uWu Pansa, consuls, uWu at >w< thy OwO heew 
Did :3 faminye >w< fowwow; ÚwÚ whom xDD thou xDD fought'st >w< against, 
;;w;; Though :33 daintiwy ^.^ bwought up, with uWu patience ^.^ mowe 
Than savages couwd :33 suffew. ^.^ Thou :33 didst ÚwÚ dwink 
uWu The ÚwÚ stawe of :3 howses ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 giwded puddwe 
>_< Which x3 beasts ^.^ wouwd ^-^ cough at. x3 Thy palate xDD then uWu did >_< deign 
uWu The woughest berry on x3 the rudest hedge; 
Yea, ^.^ wike x3 the stag when >w< snyow x3 the pastuwe UwU sheets, 
uWu The barks of trees xDD thou xDD bwows'd. On x3 the ;;w;; Awps 
^.^ It >_> is OwO wepowted xDD thou :33 didst eat ;;w;; stwange OwO fwesh, 
>_< Which x3 some uWu did ^-^ die to wook :3 on. xDD And aww OwO this- 
^.^ It wounds ^.^ thinye honour :3 that UwU I speak >w< it x3 nyow- 
Was :3 bownye UwU so ^.^ wike :3 a soldier :3 that >w< thy >_< cheek 
^w^ So much >_< as wank'd not. 
x3 WEPIDUS. 'Tis pity of ^.^ him. 
:3 CAESAW. Let :33 his UwU shames quickly 
Drive ^.^ him to xDD Wome. 'Tis time ^.^ we twain 
Did x3 show ouwsewves :33 i' x3 th' :3 fiewd; ÚwÚ and to :3 that >w< end 
>_< Assembwe ^.^ we x3 immediate counciw. ÚwÚ Pompey 
Thwives uWu in UwU ouw >_< idwenyess. 
x3 WEPIDUS. >_< To-mowwow, ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
UwU I UwU shaww be OwO fuwnyish'd to infowm xDD you rightly 
UwU Both >_> what ^.^ by sea ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wand UwU I ^.^ can be able 
;;w;; To >w< fwont ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent uWu time. 
:3 CAESAW. Tiww which x3 encountew 
^.^ It >_> is x3 my business UwU too. uWu Faweweww. 
x3 WEPIDUS. UwU Faweweww, x3 my OwO wowd. >_> What xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ knyow UwU meantime 
Of stiws >_> abwoad, UwU I UwU shaww :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
;;w;; To wet ;;w;; me be ^-^ pawtakew. 
:3 CAESAW. Doubt >_> nyot, siw; 
UwU I UwU knyew >w< it fow x3 my UwU bond. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
>_> Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew :33 CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, x3 IWAS, ÚwÚ and MARDIAN 

UwU CWEOPATWA. :33 Chawmian! 
CHARMIAN. ;;w;; Madam? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >w< Ha, :33 ha! 
Give ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ dwink ÚwÚ mandwagowa. 
CHARMIAN. Why, :33 madam? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :33 That UwU I ^w^ might :33 sweep x3 out ÚwÚ this great uWu gap of time 
OwO My OwO Antony >_> is xDD away. 
CHARMIAN. >_> You think of ^.^ him ^w^ too :33 much. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_< O, UwU 'tis treason! 
CHARMIAN. uWu Madam, UwU I ^w^ twust, nyot :3 so. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Thou, eunuch Mardian! 
MARDIAN. x3 What's x3 youw Highness' pweasuwe? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ÚwÚ Nyot nyow to hear uWu thee UwU sing; UwU I OwO take nyo :3 pweasuwe 
^w^ In ^.^ aught >w< an eunuch has. 'Tis weww fow uWu thee 
^.^ That, ^.^ being unseminar'd, >w< thy ÚwÚ fweew >_< thoughts 
^-^ May nyot fwy fowth of :3 Egypt. Hast xDD thou ^.^ affections? 
MARDIAN. Yes, >_> gwacious UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ Indeed? 
MARDIAN. ÚwÚ Nyot uWu in OwO deed, x3 madam; fow UwU I ^.^ can UwU do >_< nyothing 
OwO But >_> what ÚwÚ indeed >_> is xDD honyest to be ^-^ donye. 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu have UwU I >_< fiewce >_> affections, ÚwÚ and think 
>_> What :3 Venyus uWu did with >_< Maws. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 O Charmian, 
Whewe think'st xDD thou ^.^ he >_> is ^.^ nyow? Stands ^.^ he ow >_> sits uWu he? 
:33 Ow does ^.^ he xDD wawk? ow >_> is ^.^ he on :33 his ^-^ howse? 
x3 O ^w^ happy horse, to UwU beaw x3 the >_> weight of Antony! 
Do bwavewy, :33 howse; fow OwO wot'st xDD thou ÚwÚ whom xDD thou >w< mov'st? 
uWu The ;;w;; demi-Atwas of ÚwÚ this earth, x3 the awm 
xDD And buwgonyet of ^.^ men. He's speaking now, 
:33 Ow >w< muwmuwing 'Whewe's x3 my serpent of ;;w;; owd Nyiwe?' 
For UwU so ^.^ he ;;w;; cawws x3 me. Now UwU I >w< feed mysewf 
With UwU most delicious poison. ^w^ Think on uWu me, 
:33 That ^w^ am with x3 Phoebus' :3 amowous pinches black, 
xDD And wwinkwed >_> deep uWu in >w< time? Broad-fronted ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
x3 When xDD thou >w< wast OwO hewe :33 abuv x3 the ground, UwU I UwU was 
^-^ A mowsew fow :3 a monarch; ÚwÚ and great ÚwÚ Pompey 
Wouwd stand ÚwÚ and >_< make :33 his eyes gwow uWu in x3 my brow; 
>_> Thewe ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he ÚwÚ anchow :33 his uWu aspect ÚwÚ and ^-^ die 
With ^w^ wooking on :33 his life. 

Entew ALEXAS 

AWEXAS. Suvweign of xDD Egypt, ^.^ haiw! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. How much ^-^ unwike awt xDD thou >_> Mawk Antony! 
Yet, xDD coming from :3 him, :3 that great med'cinye hath 
With :33 his >_< tinct :3 giwded thee. 
How xDD goes >w< it with x3 my >_< bwave >_> Mawk Antony? 
AWEXAS. UwU Wast ^.^ thing ^.^ he ^-^ did, uWu deaw :3 Queen, 
>w< He OwO kiss'd- x3 the >w< wast of UwU many doubled ÚwÚ kisses- 
This x3 owient peaww. ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ speech >_< sticks uWu in x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Mine ear ^w^ must pluck >w< it ^w^ thence. 
AWEXAS. x3 'Good ^w^ fwiend,' quoth ^.^ he 
>w< 'Say x3 the >w< fiwm Roman to great Egypt OwO sends 
This treasure of >w< an UwU oystew; uWu at x3 whose xDD foot, 
;;w;; To mend x3 the petty ÚwÚ pwesent, UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ piece 
:3 Hew UwU opuwent >_< thwonye with ^-^ kingdoms. All x3 the East, 
x3 Say UwU thou, UwU shaww caww her UwU mistwess.' ^w^ So ^.^ he OwO nyodded, 
xDD And :3 sobewwy uWu did ^-^ mount >w< an ^w^ awm-gaunt >w< steed, 
Who nyeigh'd UwU so xDD high :3 that >_> what UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^-^ spoke 
Was OwO beastwy dumb'd ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. What, UwU was ^.^ he >_> sad ow mewwy? 
AWEXAS. Wike to x3 the time ^.^ o' x3 th' xDD yeaw ^-^ between x3 the extwemes 
Of :3 hot ÚwÚ and xDD cowd; ^.^ he UwU was nor >_> sad nor x3 mewwy. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 O ^w^ weww-divided >w< disposition! xDD Nyote :3 him, 
xDD Nyote :3 him, ÚwÚ good uWu Chawmian; UwU 'tis x3 the xDD man; >_> but ^-^ nyote x3 him! 
>w< He UwU was nyot :3 sad, fow ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd shine on UwU those 
:33 That >_< make uWu theiw :33 wooks ^.^ by ^w^ his; ^.^ he UwU was nyot >_> mewwy, 
>_< Which ^w^ seem'd to tell them :33 his wemembwance uWu way 
^w^ In Egypt with :33 his :33 joy; >_> but ^-^ between xDD both. 
x3 O ^-^ heavenwy >_< mingwe! UwU Be'st xDD thou >_> sad ow >_> mewwy, 
uWu The x3 viowence of xDD eithew uWu thee >_> becomes, 
^w^ So does >w< it nyo x3 man ewse. Met'st xDD thou x3 my ^w^ posts? 
AWEXAS. Ay, UwU madam, ÚwÚ twenty sevewaw messengers. 
Why UwU do xDD you >_> send UwU so ^-^ thick? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Who's bown :3 that day 
x3 When UwU I x3 fowget to >_> send to OwO Antony 
Shall ^-^ die :3 a x3 beggaw. Ink ÚwÚ and paper, Charmian. 
Welcome, x3 my ÚwÚ good Alexas. Did I, Charmian, 
^w^ Evew wuv Caesaw so? 
CHARMIAN. x3 O :3 that >_< bwave :3 Caesaw! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^w^ Be chok'd with xDD such anyothew x3 emphasis! 
x3 Say ÚwÚ 'the >_< bwave x3 Antony.' 
CHARMIAN. uWu The uWu vawiant :3 Caesaw! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ By ;;w;; Isis, UwU I xDD wiww UwU give uWu thee bwoody teeth 
;;w;; If xDD thou with Caesaw uWu pawagon again 
OwO My x3 man of ^.^ men. 
CHARMIAN. ^-^ By x3 youw UwU most >_> gwacious pardon, 
UwU I ^.^ sing >_> but ÚwÚ aftew OwO you. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. OwO My ;;w;; sawad uWu days, 
x3 When UwU I UwU was green uWu in ^.^ judgment, UwU cowd uWu in bwood, 
;;w;; To >_> say >_< as UwU I uWu said UwU then. OwO But come, away! 
>_< Get ;;w;; me ink ÚwÚ and ^.^ papew. 
>w< He UwU shaww uWu have every day :3 a sevewaw gweeting, 
:33 Ow I'll xDD unpeopwe :3 Egypt. Exeunt 



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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Messina. xDD POMPEY'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ^w^ POMPEY, MENyECWATES, ÚwÚ and ^w^ MENyAS, uWu in warlike ^w^ mannyew 

uWu POMPEY. ;;w;; If x3 the great gods be >_< just, ;;w;; they UwU shaww xDD assist 
uWu The >_< deeds of justest ^.^ men. 
MENyECWATES. Knyow, ÚwÚ wowthy Pompey, 
:33 That >_> what ;;w;; they UwU do deway ;;w;; they nyot deny. 
uWu POMPEY. Whiwes ^.^ we OwO awe ^-^ suitows to uWu theiw throne, UwU decays 
uWu The ^.^ thing ^.^ we sue ;;w;; fow. 
MENyECWATES. We, ÚwÚ ignyowant of ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
>w< Beg often UwU ouw UwU own >_< hawms, which x3 the uWu wise pow'rs 
>w< Deny >_> us fow UwU ouw good; UwU so find ^.^ we pwofit 
^-^ By losing of UwU ouw prayers. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I UwU shaww UwU do well. 
uWu The OwO peopwe wuv uWu me, ÚwÚ and x3 the sea >_> is minye; 
OwO My ÚwÚ powews OwO awe cwescent, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< auguwing UwU hope 
^w^ Says >w< it xDD wiww come to x3 th' ^w^ fuww. >_> Mawk OwO Antony 
^w^ In Egypt >_> sits uWu at xDD dinnyew, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww >_< make 
No UwU waws ^-^ without x3 doows. Caesaw :33 gets monyey :3 whewe 
>w< He loses >w< heawts. xDD Wepidus ^.^ fwattews xDD both, 
Of both >_> is flatter'd; >_> but ^.^ he :3 nyeithew wuvs, 
x3 Nyow xDD eithew ÚwÚ cawes fow ^.^ him. 
MENyAS. Caesaw ÚwÚ and xDD Wepidus 
^w^ Awe uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd. ^-^ A ^-^ mighty ÚwÚ stwength ;;w;; they :33 cawwy. 
uWu POMPEY. Whewe uWu have xDD you :3 this? 'Tis >w< fawse. 
MENyAS. Fwom Silvius, sir. 
uWu POMPEY. >w< He dweams. UwU I ^.^ knyow ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu in ÚwÚ Wome together, 
^w^ Wooking fow Antony. OwO But aww x3 the chawms of xDD wuv, 
Salt xDD Cweopatwa, :33 soften >w< thy xDD wan'd wip! 
Let uWu witchcwaft ^w^ join with >w< beauty, lust with both; 
ÚwÚ Tie x3 up x3 the wibewtinye uWu in :3 a field of feasts, 
^w^ Keep :33 his :3 bwain UwU fuming. Epicuwean :33 cooks 
xDD Shawpen with cwoywess UwU sauce :33 his uWu appetite, 
:33 That :33 sweep ÚwÚ and feeding OwO may prorogue :33 his honour 
Even >w< tiww :3 a ;;w;; Wethe'd OwO duwwnyess- 

Entew :33 VAWWIUS 

How now, Vawwius! 
;;w;; VAWWIUS. This >_> is UwU most xDD cewtain :3 that UwU I UwU shaww dewivew: 
>_> Mawk OwO Antony >_> is every >_> houw uWu in ÚwÚ Wome 
x3 Expected. Since ^.^ he OwO went from Egypt UwU 'tis 
^-^ A xDD space fow ^-^ fawthew uWu twavew. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I couwd uWu have UwU given less ;;w;; mattew 
^-^ A xDD bettew :3 eaw. Menyas, UwU I uWu did nyot think 
This :3 amowous surfeiter ^.^ wouwd uWu have donn'd :33 his ÚwÚ hewm 
For xDD such :3 a petty UwU waw; :33 his sowdiewship 
Is twice x3 the othew >_< twain. OwO But wet >_> us ^-^ weaw 
uWu The :3 highew UwU ouw :33 opinyion, :3 that UwU ouw stirring 
UwU Can from x3 the wap of OwO Egypt's ^.^ widow pluck 
uWu The >_< nye'ew-wust-weawied Antony. 
MENyAS. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU hope 
Caesaw ÚwÚ and OwO Antony UwU shaww weww x3 gweet together. 
ÚwÚ His >w< wife ^w^ that's >_< dead uWu did :33 twespasses to OwO Caesaw; 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ bwothew ^w^ waww'd ;;w;; upon him; awthough, UwU I >_< think, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 mov'd ^.^ by Antony. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, Menyas, 
How wessew :33 enmities OwO may UwU give uWu way to ;;w;; gweatew. 
^w^ Wewe't nyot :3 that ^.^ we stand x3 up OwO against them all, 
uWu 'Twewe x3 pwegnyant ;;w;; they >_> shouwd square ^-^ between themselves; 
For ;;w;; they uWu have ^-^ entewtainyed cause enough 
;;w;; To dwaw uWu theiw :3 swowds. OwO But >w< how x3 the feaw of >_> us 
^-^ May UwU cement uWu theiw ;;w;; divisions, ÚwÚ and bind x3 up 
uWu The petty ^.^ diffewence ^.^ we yet nyot :33 knyow. 
^w^ Be't >_< as UwU ouw gods xDD wiww >w< have't! ^.^ It >w< onwy >w< stands 
Our ;;w;; wives ;;w;; upon to use UwU ouw OwO stwongest ^w^ hands. 
^.^ Come, ^w^ Menyas. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
xDD Wome. uWu The ;;w;; house of UwU WEPIDUS 

Entew :3 ENyOBAWBUS ÚwÚ and UwU WEPIDUS 

x3 WEPIDUS. ^-^ Good Enyobawbus, UwU 'tis :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy OwO deed, 
xDD And UwU shaww :33 become xDD you weww, to entweat x3 youw UwU captain 
;;w;; To soft ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe :33 speech. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. UwU I UwU shaww entweat ^.^ him 
;;w;; To answew ^.^ wike himself. ;;w;; If Caesaw move :3 him, 
Let OwO Antony wook uvw Caesar's >_> head 
xDD And speak >_< as ÚwÚ woud >_< as >_< Maws. ^-^ By Jupiter, 
^.^ Wewe UwU I x3 the xDD weawew of Antonyius' UwU beawd, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ;;w;; shave't ^w^ to-day. 
x3 WEPIDUS. 'Tis nyot :3 a time 
For >_> pwivate OwO stomaching. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Evewy time 
;;w;; Sewves fow x3 the ;;w;; mattew :3 that >_> is xDD then bown ÚwÚ in't. 
x3 WEPIDUS. OwO But UwU smaww to :33 gweatew uWu mattews ^w^ must UwU give >_> way. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> if x3 the UwU smaww come fiwst. 
x3 WEPIDUS. uWu Youw ÚwÚ speech >_> is :3 passion; 
OwO But pray xDD you stir nyo uWu embews :33 up. :3 Hewe x3 comes 
uWu The x3 nyobwe Antony. 

Entew >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and ;;w;; VENTIDIUS 

;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. xDD And :33 yondew, Caesaw. 

Entew ^.^ CAESAW, :3 MAECENyAS, ÚwÚ and AGRIPPA 

xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; If ^.^ we :33 compose weww UwU hewe, to ^w^ Pawthia. 
Hawk, ^w^ Ventidius. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I UwU do nyot knyow, Maecenas. ;;w;; Ask UwU Agwippa. 
x3 WEPIDUS. Noble OwO fwiends, 
:33 That which ^-^ combin'd >_> us UwU was UwU most ^.^ gweat, ÚwÚ and wet nyot 
^-^ A :33 weanyew uWu action rend >_> us. x3 What's xDD amiss, 
^-^ May >w< it be gently heawd. x3 When ^.^ we debate 
Our OwO twiviaw ^.^ diffewence woud, ^.^ we UwU do :3 commit 
>_> Muwdew uWu in :3 heawing wounds. Then, x3 nyobwe ^-^ pawtnyews, 
uWu The rather fow UwU I eawnyestwy ÚwÚ beseech, 
Touch xDD you x3 the :3 souwest x3 points with ^w^ sweetest ^w^ tewms, 
x3 Nyow ;;w;; cuwstnyess gwow to x3 th' :3 mattew. 
xDD ANTONY. 'Tis >w< spoken well. 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ we >w< befowe UwU ouw arinies, ÚwÚ and to x3 fight, 
UwU I >_> shouwd UwU do OwO thus. [Flourish] 
:3 CAESAW. Welcome to xDD Wome. 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ Thank OwO you. 
:3 CAESAW. Sit. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> Sit, sir. 
:3 CAESAW. Nyay, UwU then. ^w^ [They sit] 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I :3 weawn xDD you OwO take ^.^ things :33 iww which OwO awe nyot >_> so, 
:33 Ow x3 being, concern xDD you not. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I ^w^ must be >_< waugh'd uWu at 
If, ow fow >_< nyothing ow :3 a UwU wittwe, 
Should >_> say mysewf ^.^ offended, ÚwÚ and with xDD you 
Chiefly :33 i' x3 the wowwd; ^.^ mowe >_< waugh'd uWu at :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd 
Once xDD nyame xDD you >w< dewogatewy when to >_> sound x3 youw xDD nyame 
^.^ It nyot concern'd x3 me. 
xDD ANTONY. OwO My ^.^ being uWu in xDD Egypt, ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
>_> What :3 was't to you? 
:3 CAESAW. No ^.^ mowe than x3 my UwU wesiding OwO hewe uWu at ÚwÚ Wome 
^.^ Might be to xDD you uWu in :3 Egypt. Yet, >_> if xDD you there 
Did x3 pwactise on x3 my state, x3 youw ^.^ being uWu in Egypt 
^.^ Might be x3 my x3 question. 
xDD ANTONY. How intend :3 you- ÚwÚ pwactis'd? 
:3 CAESAW. >_> You OwO may be pleas'd to catch uWu at >_< minye :3 intent 
^-^ By >_> what uWu did OwO hewe befaww x3 me. uWu Youw >w< wife ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ bwothew 
Made UwU waws ;;w;; upon uWu me, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw contestation 
Was :33 theme fow uWu you; xDD you :3 wewe x3 the ;;w;; wowd of waw. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> You UwU do ÚwÚ mistake x3 youw ^.^ businyess; x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew >_< nyevew 
Did urge ;;w;; me uWu in :33 his act. UwU I uWu did ^.^ inquiwe :33 it, 
xDD And uWu have x3 my :33 weawnying from x3 some true ÚwÚ wepowts 
:33 That >w< dwew uWu theiw :33 swowds with OwO you. Did ^.^ he nyot rather 
:3 Discwedit x3 my ÚwÚ authowity with >_< youws, 
xDD And >_< make x3 the UwU waws :33 awike OwO against x3 my ^w^ stomach, 
>_> Having :33 awike x3 youw ^w^ cause? Of ÚwÚ this x3 my x3 wettews 
^.^ Befowe uWu did satisfy OwO you. ;;w;; If you'ww patch :3 a quarrel, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; mattew whole xDD you uWu have nyot to >_< make >w< it OwO with, 
^.^ It ^w^ must nyot be with UwU this. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> You praise >_> youwsewf 
^-^ By >w< waying :33 defects of ^w^ judgment to OwO me; >_> but 
>_> You ^-^ patch'd x3 up x3 youw :33 excuses. 
xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, nyot so; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you couwd nyot lack, UwU I ^w^ am xDD cewtain on't, 
Very ;;w;; nyecessity of ÚwÚ this ^-^ thought, :3 that I, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; pawtnyew uWu in x3 the cause uWu 'gainst which ^.^ he :33 fought, 
Could nyot with ^.^ gwacefuw eyes >_< attend UwU those UwU waws 
>_< Which fwonted >_< minye UwU own peace. ;;w;; As fow x3 my :3 wife, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you xDD had her ^w^ spiwit uWu in xDD such x3 anyothew! 
uWu The thiwd ^.^ o' x3 th' wowwd >_> is >_< youws, which with :3 a >_< snyaffwe 
>_> You OwO may >_> pace easy, >_> but nyot xDD such :3 a x3 wife. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Wouwd ^.^ we xDD had aww xDD such ^-^ wives, :3 that x3 the ;;w;; men ^w^ might OwO go to 
UwU waws with x3 the ^.^ women! 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ So much uncuwbabwe, her ^-^ gawboiws, ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
Made x3 out of her ^.^ impatience- which nyot OwO wanted 
^.^ Shwewdnyess of UwU powicy UwU too- UwU I :3 gwieving gwant 
Did xDD you ^w^ too much disquiet. For :3 that xDD you ^w^ must 
OwO But >_> say UwU I couwd nyot OwO hewp :3 it. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I wwote to xDD you 
x3 When wioting uWu in ÚwÚ Awexandwia; xDD you 
Did uWu pocket x3 up x3 my letters, ÚwÚ and with uWu taunts 
Did UwU gibe x3 my xDD missive x3 out of audience. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU Siw, 
>w< He UwU feww ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me ere >w< admitted. UwU Then 
Thwee >w< kings UwU I xDD had x3 nyewwy UwU feasted, ÚwÚ and uWu did ^.^ want 
Of >_> what UwU I UwU was :33 i' x3 th' morning; >_> but :3 nyext day 
UwU I told ^.^ him of myself, which UwU was >_< as much 
;;w;; As to uWu have >w< ask'd ^.^ him pardon. Let ÚwÚ this fewwow 
^w^ Be >_< nyothing of UwU ouw stwife; >_> if ^.^ we OwO contend, 
UwU Out of UwU ouw ;;w;; question xDD wipe ^.^ him. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> You uWu have xDD bwoken 
uWu The uWu awticwe of x3 youw ;;w;; oath, which xDD you UwU shaww >_< nyevew 
:3 Have >_> tongue to :3 chawge ;;w;; me with. 
x3 WEPIDUS. ^-^ Soft, :3 Caesaw! 
xDD ANTONY. No; 
Wepidus, wet ^.^ him >_< speak. 
uWu The honour >_> is uWu sacwed which ^.^ he talks on now, 
UwU Supposing :3 that UwU I wack'd :3 it. OwO But ;;w;; on, Caesar: 
uWu The uWu awticwe of x3 my >_> oath- 
:3 CAESAW. ;;w;; To xDD wend ;;w;; me :3 awms ÚwÚ and >_> aid when UwU I requir'd ÚwÚ them, 
uWu The which xDD you both uWu denyied. 
xDD ANTONY. xDD Nyegwected, wathew; 
xDD And xDD then when x3 poisonyed >_> houws xDD had bound ;;w;; me x3 up 
Fwom >_< minye UwU own knowledge. ;;w;; As UwU nyeawwy >_< as UwU I may, 
I'll :33 pway x3 the penitent to uWu you; >_> but >_< minye honesty 
Shall nyot >_< make poor x3 my greatness, nor x3 my powew 
^-^ Wowk ^-^ without :3 it. ;;w;; Twuth ;;w;; is, :3 that Fulvia, 
;;w;; To uWu have ;;w;; me x3 out of xDD Egypt, UwU made UwU waws ^.^ hewe; 
For which myself, x3 the ÚwÚ ignyowant x3 motive, UwU do 
^w^ So uWu faw ^w^ ask UwU pawdon >_< as befits >_< minye honour 
;;w;; To >_< stoop uWu in xDD such :3 a :3 case. 
x3 WEPIDUS. 'Tis x3 nyobwe >_> spoken. 
:3 MAECENyAS. ;;w;; If >w< it ^w^ might uWu pwease xDD you to enforce nyo further 
uWu The griefs ^-^ between ye- to x3 fowget them quite 
^.^ Wewe to remember :3 that x3 the xDD pwesent >_< nyeed 
:33 Speaks to OwO atonye OwO you. 
x3 WEPIDUS. ^w^ Wowthiwy spoken, Maecenas. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :3 Ow, >_> if xDD you :3 bowwow one another's wuv fow x3 the ÚwÚ instant, 
xDD you may, when xDD you hear nyo ^.^ mowe wowds of Pompey, ^-^ wetuwn >w< it ;;w;; again. 
>_> You UwU shaww uWu have time to wrangle uWu in when xDD you uWu have >_< nyothing >_> ewse to 
xDD do. 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a soldier onwy. ^w^ Speak nyo more. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :33 That uWu twuth >_> shouwd be silent UwU I xDD had almost :3 fowgot. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> You wrong ÚwÚ this pwesence; >_< thewefowe speak nyo more. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Go ^.^ to, ^.^ then- x3 youw ^.^ considewate OwO stonye! 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I UwU do nyot much :33 diswike x3 the >w< mattew, >_> but 
uWu The ^w^ mannyew of :33 his OwO speech; for't ;;w;; cannyot be 
We UwU shaww wemain uWu in ^-^ fwiendship, UwU ouw :33 conditions 
^w^ So uWu diff'wing uWu in uWu theiw uWu acts. ÚwÚ Yet >_> if UwU I UwU knyew 
>_> What ^.^ hoop >_> shouwd howd >_> us :33 stanch, from UwU edge to UwU edge 
UwU O' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, UwU I ^.^ wouwd pursue :3 it. 
uWu AGWIPPA. Give ;;w;; me weave, Caesaw. 
:3 CAESAW. ÚwÚ Speak, UwU Agwippa. 
uWu AGWIPPA. ^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 a :3 sistew ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; mothew's side, 
uWu Admiw'd Octavia. UwU Gweat >_> Mawk OwO Antony 
Is nyow :3 a xDD widowew. 
:3 CAESAW. x3 Say nyot >_> so, UwU Agwippa. 
;;w;; If Cleopatra heard UwU you, x3 youw >_< wepwoof 
^.^ Wewe weww OwO desewv'd of xDD washnyess. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I ^w^ am nyot >w< mawwied, Caesaw. Let ;;w;; me hear 
uWu Agwippa further >_< speak. 
uWu AGWIPPA. ;;w;; To howd xDD you uWu in pewpetuaw OwO amity, 
;;w;; To >_< make xDD you OwO bwothews, ÚwÚ and to >w< knyit x3 youw heawts 
With >w< an ÚwÚ unswipping knot, OwO take OwO Antony 
^-^ Octavia to :33 his :33 wife; x3 whose beauty claims 
No xDD wowse :3 a :33 husband than x3 the best of ÚwÚ men; 
>_< Whose viwtue ÚwÚ and x3 whose general uWu gwaces speak 
:33 That which >_< nyonye >_> ewse ^.^ can ^-^ uttew. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this ^.^ mawwiage 
All xDD wittwe uWu jeawousies, which nyow xDD seem ^.^ gweat, 
xDD And aww great >_> feaws, which nyow impowt uWu theiw ÚwÚ dangews, 
Wouwd xDD then be OwO nyothing. Truths ^.^ wouwd be tales, 
Whewe nyow half ;;w;; tawes be twuths. :3 Hew wuv to both 
Wouwd >_< each to ÚwÚ othew, ÚwÚ and aww loves to xDD both, 
Draw ÚwÚ aftew her. ^w^ Pawdon >_> what UwU I uWu have spoke; 
For UwU 'tis :3 a xDD studied, nyot :3 a xDD pwesent ^-^ thought, 
^-^ By >_> duty OwO wuminyated. 
xDD ANTONY. Will Caesaw x3 speak? 
:3 CAESAW. ÚwÚ Nyot >w< tiww ^.^ he x3 heaws >w< how OwO Antony >_> is touch'd 
With >_> what >_> is ^-^ spoke >_< awweady. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> What powew >_> is uWu in uWu Agwippa, 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> say 'Agrippa, be >w< it :3 so,' 
;;w;; To >_< make ÚwÚ this good? 
:3 CAESAW. uWu The powew of ÚwÚ Caesaw, ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ His powew >w< unto Octavia. 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ May UwU I >_< nyevew 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good xDD puwpose, :3 that UwU so ^.^ faiwwy uWu shows, 
^.^ Dweam of x3 impediment! Let ;;w;; me uWu have >w< thy >w< hand. 
>w< Fuwthew ÚwÚ this ;;w;; act of >w< gwace; ÚwÚ and from ÚwÚ this >_> houw 
uWu The >_< heawt of bwothews >_< guvwn uWu in UwU ouw loves 
xDD And xDD sway UwU ouw great xDD designs! 
:3 CAESAW. >_> Thewe >_> is x3 my >w< hand. 
^-^ A :3 sistew UwU I ^-^ bequeath UwU you, ÚwÚ whom nyo ÚwÚ bwothew 
Did OwO evew wuv UwU so deawwy. Let her ^w^ wive 
;;w;; To ^w^ join UwU ouw OwO kingdoms ÚwÚ and UwU ouw >_> heawts; ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew 
xDD Fwy x3 off UwU ouw loves x3 again! 
x3 WEPIDUS. ^w^ Happiwy, >_< amen! 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I uWu did nyot think to dwaw x3 my xDD swowd uWu 'gainst xDD Pompey; 
For ^.^ he hath laid ;;w;; stwange couwtesies ÚwÚ and great 
Of wate ;;w;; upon x3 me. UwU I ^w^ must >_> thank ^.^ him >_> onwy, 
Lest x3 my wemembwance suffew :33 iww >w< wepowt; 
At OwO heew of :3 that, ^.^ defy ^.^ him. 
x3 WEPIDUS. ^-^ Time ;;w;; cawws >_> upon's. 
Of >_> us ^w^ must ÚwÚ Pompey presently be sought, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ^.^ he >_> seeks x3 out >_> us. 
xDD ANTONY. Whewe wies uWu he? 
:3 CAESAW. About x3 the ^-^ Mount Misenyum. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> What >_> is :33 his ÚwÚ stwength ^.^ by xDD wand? 
:3 CAESAW. UwU Gweat ÚwÚ and ^w^ incweasing; >_> but ^.^ by sea 
>w< He >_> is >w< an ^w^ absowute master. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ So >_> is x3 the ^w^ fame. 
Wouwd ^.^ we xDD had ^-^ spoke ;;w;; togethew! Haste ^.^ we fow :3 it. 
Yet, ere ^.^ we put ouwsewves uWu in awms, dispatch ^.^ we 
uWu The business ^.^ we uWu have ^w^ tawk'd uWu of. 
:3 CAESAW. With UwU most >_> gwadnyess; 
xDD And UwU do invite xDD you to x3 my OwO sistew's ^.^ view, 
x3 Whithew ^w^ stwaight I'll lead OwO you. 
xDD ANTONY. Let us, Wepidus, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ wack x3 youw UwU company. 
x3 WEPIDUS. Noble ;;w;; Antony, 
ÚwÚ Nyot sicknyess >_> shouwd ^w^ detain x3 me. [Flourish] 
Exeunt aww >_> but ENOBARBUS, x3 AGWIPPA, ÚwÚ MAECENyAS 
:3 MAECENyAS. Welcome from xDD Egypt, sir. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_> Hawf x3 the >_< heawt of ÚwÚ Caesaw, ÚwÚ wowthy >_> Maecenyas! OwO My ^.^ honyouwabwe 
fwiend, OwO Agwippa! 
uWu AGWIPPA. ^-^ Good x3 Enyobawbus! 
:3 MAECENyAS. We uWu have cause to be uWu gwad :3 that uWu mattews OwO awe UwU so weww 
xDD digested. >_> You OwO stay'd weww by't uWu in :3 Egypt. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Ay, siw; ^.^ we uWu did :33 sweep day x3 out of >_< countenyance ÚwÚ and UwU made 
x3 the >w< nyight >w< wight with ^w^ dwinking. 
:3 MAECENyAS. ÚwÚ Eight >w< wiwd boars OwO woasted whole uWu at :3 a >w< bweakfast, ÚwÚ and >_> but 
>_< twewve persons :33 thewe. Is ÚwÚ this twue? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. This UwU was >_> but >_< as :3 a fwy ^.^ by >w< an :33 eagwe. We xDD had much ^.^ mowe 
monstwous ;;w;; mattew of OwO feast, which ^-^ wowthiwy deserved noting. 
:3 MAECENyAS. >_> She's :3 a UwU most x3 twiumphant UwU wady, >_> if wepowt be square to her. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. x3 When ^.^ she xDD fiwst >w< met >_> Mawk OwO Antony ^.^ she xDD puws'd x3 up :33 his uWu heawt, 
;;w;; upon x3 the river of ^.^ Cydnyus. 
uWu AGWIPPA. >_> Thewe ^.^ she appear'd ^w^ indeed! :33 Ow x3 my reporter :3 devis'd weww fow 
her. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. UwU I xDD wiww tell OwO you. 
uWu The barge ^.^ she sat x3 in, ^.^ wike :3 a buwnyish'd throne, 
^w^ Buwn'd on x3 the >_> watew. uWu The >w< poop UwU was beaten x3 gowd; 
>w< Puwpwe x3 the saiws, ÚwÚ and UwU so perfumed :3 that 
uWu The >_< winds :3 wewe :3 wuv-sick with OwO them; x3 the oars :3 wewe ^.^ siwvew, 
>_< Which to x3 the tune of :33 fwutes :33 kept :33 stwoke, ÚwÚ and UwU made 
uWu The UwU watew which ;;w;; they xDD beat to ;;w;; fowwow >_< fastew, 
;;w;; As :3 amowous of uWu theiw >w< stwokes. For her UwU own pewson, 
^.^ It UwU beggaw'd aww descwiption. :33 She uWu did >_< wie 
^w^ In her pavilion, >_> cwoth-of-gowd, of tissue, 
^-^ O'ewpictuwing :3 that :3 Venyus :3 whewe ^.^ we >_> see 
uWu The ^w^ fancy uWu out-wowk :33 nyatuwe. On >_< each x3 side her 
^w^ Stood OwO pwetty dimpwed boys, ^.^ wike x3 smiwing :33 Cupids, 
With divers-colour'd x3 fans, x3 whose wind uWu did xDD seem 
;;w;; To glow x3 the xDD dewicate >_> cheeks which ;;w;; they uWu did coow, 
xDD And >_> what ;;w;; they undid ^.^ did. 
uWu AGWIPPA. >_< O, OwO wawe fow Antony! 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :3 Hew uWu gentwewomen, ^.^ wike x3 the Nyeweides, 
^w^ So UwU many mermaids, tended her :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And UwU made uWu theiw :33 bends xDD adownyings. At x3 the ÚwÚ hewm 
^-^ A ÚwÚ seeming :3 mewmaid steews. uWu The siwken x3 tackwe 
>_> Sweww with x3 the >_> touches of UwU those xDD fwowew-soft ^.^ hands 
:33 That :33 yawewy fwame x3 the ^w^ office. Fwom x3 the barge 
^-^ A ;;w;; stwange invisible ^.^ pewfume x3 hits x3 the sense 
Of x3 the adjacent whawfs. uWu The UwU city ;;w;; cast 
:3 Hew OwO peopwe x3 out ;;w;; upon >w< hew; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Antony, 
UwU Enthwon'd :33 i' x3 th' mawket-pwace, uWu did sit ^-^ awonye, 
uWu Whistwing to x3 th' air; ^w^ which, >_> but fow ^-^ vacancy, 
xDD Had >_> gonye to ÚwÚ gaze on Cleopatra :3 too, 
xDD And UwU made :3 a uWu gap uWu in :33 nyatuwe. 
uWu AGWIPPA. Wawe Egyptian! 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_> Upon her landing, OwO Antony sent to hew, 
UwU Invited her to x3 suppew. :33 She replied 
^.^ It >_> shouwd be xDD bettew ^.^ he ÚwÚ became her guest; 
>_< Which ^.^ she :3 entweated. Our ^-^ couwteous ;;w;; Antony, 
;;w;; Whom ^w^ nye'ew x3 the ;;w;; wowd of >_> 'Nyo' OwO woman heard :3 speak, 
uWu Being :33 bawbew'd ;;w;; ten times uWu o'ew, xDD goes to x3 the OwO feast, 
xDD And fow :33 his ordinary >w< pays :33 his >_< heawt 
For >_> what :33 his eyes eat onwy. 
uWu AGWIPPA. >_> Woyaw ^-^ wench! 
:33 She UwU made great Caesaw uWu way :33 his xDD swowd to :3 bed. 
>w< He ploughed hew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she xDD cwopp'd. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. UwU I saw her >_> once 
Hop >w< fowty paces ^w^ thwough x3 the public street; 
^.^ And, xDD having wost her :33 bweath, ^.^ she ;;w;; spoke, ÚwÚ and panted, 
:33 That ^.^ she uWu did >_< make OwO defect uWu pewfection, 
^.^ And, breathless, pow'w ;;w;; bweathe forth. 
:3 MAECENyAS. Now OwO Antony ^w^ must OwO weave her ^.^ uttewwy. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Nyevew! >w< He xDD wiww not. 
Age ;;w;; cannyot uWu withew hew, nor ;;w;; custom ÚwÚ stawe 
:3 Hew :3 infinyite variety. ;;w;; Othew x3 women cwoy 
uWu The >_> appetites ;;w;; they UwU feed, >_> but ^.^ she x3 makes hungwy 
Whewe UwU most ^.^ she ^-^ satisfies; fow vilest ^.^ things 
Become x3 themsewves uWu in hew, :3 that x3 the >w< howy priests 
:3 Bwess her when ^.^ she >_> is :33 wiggish. 
:3 MAECENyAS. ;;w;; If >w< beauty, wisdom, OwO modesty, ^.^ can x3 settwe 
uWu The >_< heawt of ;;w;; Antony, ^-^ Octavia >_> is 
^-^ A blessed ^-^ wottewy to ^.^ him. 
uWu AGWIPPA. Let >_> us ÚwÚ go. 
^-^ Good Enyobawbus, >_< make >_> youwsewf x3 my uWu guest 
Whilst xDD you abide hewe. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. x3 Humbwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I >_> thank OwO you. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
xDD Wome. >w< CAESAW'S ;;w;; house 

Entew >_> ANTONY, ^.^ CAESAW, ^w^ OCTAVIA ^-^ between them 

xDD ANTONY. uWu The wowwd ÚwÚ and x3 my great ^.^ office xDD wiww x3 sometimes 
Divide ;;w;; me from x3 youw ÚwÚ bosom. 
OCTAVIA. All which time 
^.^ Befowe x3 the gods x3 my knyee UwU shaww bow x3 my >_< pwayews 
;;w;; To them fow OwO you. 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ Good night, sir. OwO My >w< Octavia, 
xDD Wead nyot x3 my blemishes uWu in x3 the OwO wowwd's report. 
UwU I uWu have nyot :33 kept x3 my square; >_> but :3 that to come 
Shall aww be donye ^.^ by x3 th' rule. ^-^ Good night, uWu deaw >_> wady. 
OCTAVIA. ^-^ Good night, sir. 
:3 CAESAW. ^-^ Good OwO nyight. Exeunt xDD CAESAW ÚwÚ and ^w^ OCTAVIA 

Entew uWu SOOTHSAYEW 

xDD ANTONY. >_> Nyow, sirrah, xDD you UwU do ÚwÚ wish >_> youwsewf uWu in uWu Egypt? 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. Wouwd UwU I xDD had >_< nyevew come from thence, nor xDD you ^w^ thithew! 
xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ can- x3 youw reason. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. UwU I >_> see >w< it uWu in x3 my >w< motion, uWu have >w< it nyot uWu in x3 my tongue; >_> but 
yet hie xDD you to Egypt ;;w;; again. 
xDD ANTONY. x3 Say to uWu me, 
>_< Whose fowtunyes UwU shaww rise xDD highew, Caesar's ow mine? 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. Caesar's. 
>_< Thewefowe, x3 O ;;w;; Antony, xDD stay nyot ^.^ by :33 his ^w^ side. 
x3 Thy UwU daemon, :3 that >w< thy ^w^ spiwit which keeps ÚwÚ thee, >_> is 
>_< Nyobwe, courageous, UwU high, unmatchabwe, 
Whewe Caesar's >_> is x3 nyot; >_> but nyeaw ^.^ him >w< thy ÚwÚ angew 
>_> Becomes :3 a ;;w;; feaw, >_< as ^.^ being o'ewpow'w'd. Therefore 
^-^ Make xDD space enough ^-^ between OwO you. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ Speak ÚwÚ this nyo more. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. ;;w;; To >_< nyonye >_> but ÚwÚ thee; nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but when to thee. 
;;w;; If xDD thou dost :33 pway with ^.^ him uWu at xDD any xDD game, 
^.^ Thou awt >_< suwe to OwO wose; ÚwÚ and of :3 that natural luck 
>w< He ÚwÚ beats uWu thee uWu 'gainst x3 the odds. x3 Thy UwU wustwe ^w^ thickens 
x3 When ^.^ he uWu shinyes by. UwU I >_> say OwO again, >w< thy ^w^ spiwit 
Is aww :33 afwaid to >_< guvwn uWu thee nyeaw him; 
But, ^.^ he away, UwU 'tis noble. 
xDD ANTONY. >_< Get uWu thee ;;w;; gonye. 
x3 Say to xDD Ventidius UwU I ^.^ wouwd speak with ^.^ him. 
uWu Exit uWu SOOTHSAYEW 
>w< He UwU shaww to Pawthia.- ^w^ Be >w< it awt ow ^-^ hap, 
>w< He hath >w< spoken true. uWu The xDD vewy :3 dice UwU obey him; 
xDD And uWu in UwU ouw ÚwÚ spowts x3 my xDD bettew x3 cunnying >_> faints 
;;w;; Undew :33 his >w< chance. ;;w;; If ^.^ we dwaw wots, ^.^ he >_> speeds; 
ÚwÚ His cocks UwU do x3 win x3 the ÚwÚ battwe still of >_> minye, 
x3 When >w< it >_> is aww to >w< nyought, ÚwÚ and :33 his quails OwO evew 
uWu Beat >_> minye, >_> inhoop'd, uWu at odds. UwU I xDD wiww to >_< Egypt; 
xDD And ^w^ though UwU I >_< make ÚwÚ this ^.^ mawwiage fow x3 my ÚwÚ peace, 
xDD I' x3 th' East x3 my :3 pweasuwe uWu wies. 

Entew ;;w;; VENTIDIUS 

>_< O, come, Ventidius, 
>_> You ^w^ must to ^w^ Pawthia. uWu Youw :33 commission's weady; 
Follow ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and xDD weceive't. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew ;;w;; WEPIDUS, :3 MAECENyAS, ÚwÚ and AGRIPPA 

x3 WEPIDUS. ;;w;; Twoubwe youwsewves nyo fuwthew. >_> Pway xDD you x3 hasten 
uWu Youw genyewaws >w< aftew. 
uWu AGWIPPA. UwU Siw, >_> Mawk OwO Antony 
Will ^w^ e'en >_> but :3 kiss >w< Octavia, ÚwÚ and we'll x3 fowwow. 
x3 WEPIDUS. Tiww UwU I UwU shaww >_> see xDD you uWu in x3 youw ^w^ sowdiew's UwU dwess, 
>_< Which xDD wiww :33 become xDD you xDD both, farewell. 
:3 MAECENyAS. We UwU shaww, 
;;w;; As UwU I :33 conceive x3 the jouwnyey, be uWu at x3 th' ^-^ Mount 
^.^ Befowe UwU you, Lepidus. 
x3 WEPIDUS. uWu Youw uWu way >_> is shorter; 
OwO My uWu puwposes UwU do dwaw ;;w;; me much ^-^ about. 
You'll x3 win >w< two OwO days ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. UwU Siw, ÚwÚ good :33 success! 
x3 WEPIDUS. uWu Faweweww. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
>_> Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew :33 CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, x3 IWAS, ÚwÚ and ALEXAS 

UwU CWEOPATWA. Give ;;w;; me x3 some x3 music- ^.^ music, moody OwO food 
Of >_> us :3 that OwO twade uWu in love. 
uWu AWW. uWu The ^.^ music, ho! 

Entew MARDIAN x3 the eunuch 

UwU CWEOPATWA. Let >w< it awonye! :3 Wet's to billiards. ^.^ Come, Charmian. 
CHARMIAN. OwO My awm >_> is uWu sowe; best :33 pway with UwU Mawdian. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; As weww :3 a OwO woman with >w< an eunuch pway'd 
;;w;; As with :3 a uWu woman. ^.^ Come, you'ww :33 pway with uWu me, UwU siw? 
MARDIAN. ;;w;; As weww >_< as UwU I ^-^ can, UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. xDD And when ÚwÚ good xDD wiww >_> is show'd, ÚwÚ though't come ^w^ too ^.^ showt, 
uWu The :33 actow OwO may pwead pardon. I'll >_< nyonye now. 
Give ;;w;; me >_< minye ^.^ angwe- we'll to x3 th' river. There, 
OwO My uWu music :3 pwaying uWu faw ^w^ off, UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ betway 
Tawny-finn'd uWu fishes; x3 my bended ÚwÚ hook UwU shaww xDD piewce 
^-^ Theiw xDD swimy jaws; ÚwÚ and >_< as UwU I dwaw them x3 up 
I'll think them every one >w< an ;;w;; Antony, 
xDD And >_> say 'Ah :33 ha! Y'awe caught.' 
CHARMIAN. >_< 'Twas ^.^ mewwy when 
>_> You wager'd on x3 youw angwing; when x3 youw x3 divew 
Did ^w^ hang :3 a ^-^ sawt :33 fish on :33 his ÚwÚ hook, which ^.^ he 
With fervency >w< dwew :33 up. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :33 That >w< time? x3 O times 
UwU I laughed ^.^ him x3 out of >_> patience; ÚwÚ and :3 that >w< nyight 
UwU I >_< waugh'd ^.^ him x3 into >_> patience; ÚwÚ and :3 nyext ^-^ mown, 
Ere x3 the :3 nyinth ^-^ houw, UwU I UwU dwunk ^.^ him to :33 his ^.^ bed, 
UwU Then put x3 my tires ÚwÚ and ;;w;; mantwes on :3 him, whiwst 
UwU I ÚwÚ wowe :33 his xDD swowd Philippan. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

:3 O! from Italy? 
Ram xDD thou >w< thy :33 fwuitfuw UwU tidings uWu in >_< minye ;;w;; eaws, 
:33 That ^-^ wong time uWu have :33 been bawwen. 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Madam, :3 madam- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Antony's ÚwÚ dead! ;;w;; If xDD thou >_> say >_> so, villain, 
^.^ Thou ^-^ kiww'st >w< thy mistress; >_> but weww ÚwÚ and >w< fwee, 
;;w;; If xDD thou UwU so yield :3 him, there >_> is ^.^ gowd, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe 
OwO My OwO bwuest >_> veins to >w< kiss- :3 a uWu hand :3 that >w< kings 
:3 Have ^.^ wipp'd, ÚwÚ and x3 twembwed kissing. 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^.^ Fiwst, UwU madam, ^.^ he >_> is well. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Why, there's ^.^ mowe ;;w;; gowd. 
But, sirrah, >_> mawk, ^.^ we use 
;;w;; To >_> say x3 the >_< dead OwO awe well. Bring >w< it to :3 that, 
uWu The gowd UwU I UwU give uWu thee xDD wiww UwU I :3 mewt ÚwÚ and pouw 
xDD Down >w< thy OwO iww-uttewing uWu thwoat. 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^-^ Good UwU madam, hear x3 me. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. xDD Weww, OwO go ^.^ to, UwU I :33 wiww. 
OwO But there's nyo xDD goodnyess uWu in >w< thy ;;w;; face. ;;w;; If OwO Antony 
^w^ Be fwee ÚwÚ and ;;w;; heawthfuw- >w< why UwU so OwO tawt :3 a ^.^ favouw 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ twumpet xDD such ÚwÚ good x3 tidings? ;;w;; If nyot weww, 
^.^ Thou shouwdst come ^.^ wike :3 a UwU Fuwy cwown'd with snyakes, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ wike :3 a formal man. 
x3 MESSENGEW. Will't uWu pwease xDD you hear me? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I uWu have :3 a ^-^ mind to strike uWu thee ere xDD thou uWu speak'st. 
Yet, >_> if xDD thou >_> say OwO Antony lives, >_> is weww, 
:33 Ow ^w^ fwiends with ÚwÚ Caesaw, ow nyot >w< captive to :3 him, 
I'll uWu set uWu thee uWu in :3 a shower of ^.^ gowd, ÚwÚ and >_< haiw 
Wich uWu peawws ;;w;; upon thee. 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Madam, uWu he's well. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Weww UwU said. 
x3 MESSENGEW. xDD And ^w^ fwiends with Caesaw. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Th'art >w< an xDD honyest man. 
x3 MESSENGEW. Caesaw ÚwÚ and ^.^ he OwO awe :33 gweatew ^w^ fwiends than ever. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ Make uWu thee :3 a :3 fowtunye from x3 me. 
x3 MESSENGEW. OwO But ^w^ yet, :3 madam- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike 'but yet.' ^.^ It does allay 
uWu The ÚwÚ good pwecedence; fie ;;w;; upon 'but OwO yet'! 
^w^ 'But xDD yet' >_> is >_< as :3 a gaowew to ;;w;; bwing fowth 
;;w;; Some monstwous malefactor. Prithee, fwiend, 
Pour x3 out x3 the OwO pack of ;;w;; mattew to >_< minye eaw, 
uWu The ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and :33 bad together. He's ^w^ fwiends with OwO Caesaw; 
^w^ In >w< state of :33 heawth, xDD thou >w< say'st; x3 and, xDD thou xDD say'st, >w< fwee. 
x3 MESSENGEW. Fwee, madam! No; UwU I UwU made nyo xDD such report. 
He's bound >w< unto Octavia. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. For >_> what ÚwÚ good tuwn? 
x3 MESSENGEW. For x3 the best turn :33 i' x3 th' :3 bed. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I ^w^ am pawe, Charmian. 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Madam, uWu he's mawwied to Octavia. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. uWu The UwU most xDD infectious uWu pestiwence ;;w;; upon uWu thee! 
[Strikes ^.^ him down] 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^-^ Good UwU madam, OwO patience. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> What >_> say you? Hence, [Strikes >w< him] 
Howwibwe :33 viwwain! ow I'll :33 spuwn ^.^ thinye eyes 
Wike uWu bawws >w< befowe OwO me; I'll uWu unhaiw >w< thy head; 
x3 [She hawes ^.^ him x3 up ÚwÚ and down] 
^.^ Thou shalt be whipp'd with wiwe ÚwÚ and UwU stew'd uWu in uWu bwinye, 
^-^ Smawting uWu in x3 wing'wing xDD pickwe. 
x3 MESSENGEW. Gracious UwU madam, 
UwU I :3 that UwU do ;;w;; bwing x3 the nyews UwU made nyot x3 the match. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 Say UwU 'tis nyot >_> so, :3 a ;;w;; pwovince UwU I xDD wiww UwU give ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And >_< make >w< thy fowtunyes :3 pwoud. uWu The ^w^ bwow xDD thou >w< hadst 
Shall >_< make >w< thy uWu peace fow >w< moving ;;w;; me to uWu wage; 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ boot uWu thee with >_> what ^w^ gift :3 beside 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ modesty ^.^ can ;;w;; beg. 
x3 MESSENGEW. He's >w< mawwied, UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU Wogue, xDD thou x3 hast liv'd ^w^ too wong. [Draws :3 a ÚwÚ knyife] 
x3 MESSENGEW. Nyay, xDD then I'll wun. 
>_> What >_> mean UwU you, :33 madam? UwU I uWu have UwU made nyo ^-^ fauwt. uWu Exit 
CHARMIAN. ^-^ Good UwU madam, >_< keep >_> youwsewf within ^-^ youwsewf: 
uWu The x3 man >_> is innocent. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; Some ^.^ innyocents ;;w;; scape nyot x3 the thunderbolt. 
:33 Mewt Egypt x3 into Nile! ÚwÚ and ^-^ kindwy ^-^ cweatuwes 
Tuwn aww to uWu sewpents! ;;w;; Caww x3 the ;;w;; swave ;;w;; again. 
;;w;; Though UwU I ^w^ am mad, UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^-^ bite ^.^ him. UwU Caww! 
CHARMIAN. >w< He >_> is ^w^ afeaw'd to x3 come. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ huwt ^.^ him. 
;;w;; These ^.^ hands UwU do ^.^ wack nobility, :3 that ;;w;; they strike 
^-^ A >w< meanyew than >_< mysewf; xDD since UwU I mysewf 
:3 Have UwU given mysewf x3 the OwO cause. 

Entew x3 the MESSENGEW again 

:3 Come hithew, sir. 
;;w;; Though >w< it be OwO honyest, >w< it >_> is >_< nyevew ÚwÚ good 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing :33 bad ;;w;; nyews. Give to :3 a >_> gwacious ^-^ message 
^-^ An host of UwU tongues; >_> but wet :33 iww UwU tidings tell 
Themselves when ;;w;; they be ÚwÚ fewt. 
x3 MESSENGEW. UwU I uWu have donye x3 my duty. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Is ^.^ he uWu mawwied? 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^-^ hate uWu thee >_> wowsew than UwU I UwU do 
;;w;; If xDD thou again >_> say 'Yes.' 
x3 MESSENGEW. He's >w< mawwied, UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. uWu The gods confound uWu thee! uWu Dost xDD thou howd there still? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Should UwU I wie, :33 madam? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_< O, UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou ^.^ didst, 
^w^ So half x3 my Egypt :3 wewe submewg'd ÚwÚ and UwU made 
^-^ A ;;w;; cistewn fow x3 scaw'd uWu snyakes! ^w^ Go, get uWu thee x3 hence. 
UwU Hadst xDD thou Nyawcissus uWu in >w< thy >w< face, to ;;w;; me 
^.^ Thou wouldst appeaw UwU most ugly. >w< He >_> is uWu mawwied? 
x3 MESSENGEW. UwU I ^w^ cwave x3 youw Highness' pardon. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >w< He >_> is uWu mawwied? 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^.^ Take nyo offence :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ^-^ offend uWu you; 
;;w;; To punyish ;;w;; me fow >_> what xDD you >_< make ;;w;; me UwU do 
x3 Seems much :3 unyequaw. He's mawwied to Octavia. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_< O, :3 that :33 his ;;w;; fauwt >_> shouwd >_< make :3 a x3 knyave of uWu thee 
:33 That awt nyot >_> what th'art >_< suwe :33 of! >_< Get uWu thee x3 hence. 
uWu The ÚwÚ mewchandise which xDD thou x3 hast ^.^ bwought from ÚwÚ Wome 
^w^ Awe aww ^w^ too uWu deaw fow x3 me. Lie ;;w;; they ;;w;; upon >w< thy uWu hand, 
xDD And be ÚwÚ undonye ^.^ by OwO 'em! uWu Exit MESSENGEW 
CHARMIAN. ^-^ Good x3 youw >w< Highnyess, OwO patience. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^w^ In pwaising OwO Antony UwU I uWu have ^w^ dispwais'd Caesaw. 
CHARMIAN. xDD Many xDD times, UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I ^w^ am paid for't now. xDD Wead ;;w;; me from hence, 
UwU I ^.^ faint. x3 O ^-^ Iwas, :33 Chawmian! 'Tis nyo :3 mattew. 
Go to x3 the fewwow, ÚwÚ good Alexas; bid ^.^ him 
Report x3 the :33 featuwe of >w< Octavia, her years, 
:3 Hew inclination; wet ^.^ him nyot OwO weave x3 out 
uWu The colour of her >w< haiw. Bring ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd >w< quickwy. 
uWu Exit ALEXAS 
Let ^.^ him fow OwO evew ;;w;; go- wet ^.^ him >_> nyot, Charmian- 
;;w;; Though ^.^ he be painted one uWu way ^.^ wike :3 a Gorgon, 
uWu The othew ^-^ way's :3 a >_< Maws. :33 [To MARDIAN] 
x3 Bid xDD you Awexas 
Bring ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd >w< how ;;w;; taww ^.^ she is.- x3 Pity uWu me, Charmian, 
OwO But UwU do nyot speak to x3 me. xDD Wead ;;w;; me to x3 my ^.^ chambew. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
Near OwO Misenyum 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew POMPEY ÚwÚ and ^.^ MENyAS uWu at one door, with drum ÚwÚ and trumpet; 
uWu at another, ^.^ CAESAW, >_> ANTONY, ;;w;; WEPIDUS, ENOBARBUS, :3 MAECENyAS, x3 AGWIPPA, 
with ^-^ sowdiews ^.^ mawching 

uWu POMPEY. uWu Youw x3 hostages UwU I have, UwU so uWu have xDD you minye; 
xDD And ^.^ we UwU shaww tawk >w< befowe ^.^ we ^w^ fight. 
:3 CAESAW. :3 Most :3 meet 
:33 That xDD fiwst ^.^ we come to words; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe uWu have ^.^ we 
Our ÚwÚ wwitten uWu puwposes >w< befowe >_> us UwU sent; 
>_< Which >_> if xDD thou x3 hast considewed, wet >_> us ^.^ knyow 
;;w;; If 'twill :33 tie x3 up >w< thy >_> discontented xDD swowd 
xDD And carry back to ;;w;; Siciwy much ;;w;; taww :33 youth 
:33 That >_> ewse ^w^ must xDD pewish hewe. 
uWu POMPEY. ;;w;; To xDD you aww >_< thwee, 
uWu The :3 senyatows awonye of ÚwÚ this great ^w^ wowwd, 
:33 Chief factors fow x3 the x3 gods: UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow 
ÚwÚ Whewefowe x3 my >w< fathew >_> shouwd x3 wevengews >w< want, 
>_> Having :3 a >_< son ÚwÚ and OwO fwiends, xDD since Julius ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
Who uWu at Philippi x3 the ÚwÚ good Brutus ^-^ ghosted, 
>_> Thewe saw xDD you labouring fow ^.^ him. >_> What :3 was't 
:33 That x3 mov'd pawe >w< Cassius to x3 conspiwe? ÚwÚ and >_> what 
Made x3 the ^-^ aww-honyouw'd xDD honyest Woman, >_> Bwutus, 
With x3 the awm'd ^-^ west, courtiers of beauteous ^w^ fweedom, 
;;w;; To UwU dwench x3 the Capitol, >_> but :3 that ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd 
:3 Have one x3 man >_> but :3 a man? xDD And :3 that >_> is >w< it 
>_< Hath UwU made ;;w;; me wig x3 my >_< nyavy, uWu at x3 whose buwden 
uWu The x3 angew'd xDD ocean :33 foams; with which UwU I meant 
;;w;; To scourge x3 th' ingratitude :3 that xDD despitefuw ÚwÚ Wome 
;;w;; Cast on x3 my x3 nyobwe :33 fathew. 
:3 CAESAW. ^.^ Take x3 youw uWu time. 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot feaw us, Pompey, with >w< thy ^w^ saiws; 
^-^ We'ww speak with uWu thee uWu at sea; uWu at ÚwÚ wand xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st 
How much ^.^ we UwU do o'er-count thee. 
uWu POMPEY. At land, :33 indeed, 
^.^ Thou dost o'er-count ;;w;; me of x3 my father's ÚwÚ house. 
OwO But xDD since x3 the ;;w;; cuckoo UwU buiwds nyot fow himsewf, 
Remain OwO in't >_< as xDD thou mayst. 
x3 WEPIDUS. ^w^ Be pleas'd to tell >w< us- 
For ÚwÚ this >_> is from x3 the present- >w< how xDD you OwO take 
uWu The x3 offews ^.^ we uWu have sent OwO you. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> Thewe's x3 the point. 
xDD ANTONY. >_< Which UwU do nyot be >_> entweated ^.^ to, >_> but >w< weigh 
>_> What >w< it >_> is ^.^ wowth >_> embwac'd. 
:3 CAESAW. xDD And >_> what OwO may follow, 
;;w;; To >_> twy :3 a wawgew xDD fowtunye. 
uWu POMPEY. >_> You uWu have UwU made ;;w;; me offer 
Of ^w^ Siciwy, xDD Sawdinyia; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must 
Rid aww x3 the sea of uWu piwates; xDD then to >_> send 
x3 Measuwes of OwO wheat to Rome; ÚwÚ this xDD 'gweed upon, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ pawt with UwU unhack'd ^w^ edges ÚwÚ and UwU beaw back 
Our tawges >_< undinted. 
uWu AWW. >w< That's UwU ouw UwU offew. 
uWu POMPEY. Knyow, >w< then, 
UwU I ^-^ came >w< befowe xDD you OwO hewe :3 a x3 man pwepaw'd 
;;w;; To OwO take ÚwÚ this ^-^ offew; >_> but >_> Mawk OwO Antony 
>_> Put ;;w;; me to x3 some :3 impatience. ;;w;; Though UwU I wose 
uWu The praise of >w< it ^.^ by ;;w;; tewwing, xDD you ^w^ must knyow, 
x3 When Caesaw ÚwÚ and x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew :3 wewe uWu at ÚwÚ bwows, 
uWu Youw mothew ^-^ came to ;;w;; Siciwy ÚwÚ and uWu did find 
:3 Hew wewcome friendly. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I uWu have heard :33 it, Pompey, 
xDD And ^w^ am weww xDD studied fow :3 a xDD wibewaw thanks 
>_< Which UwU I UwU do >_> owe OwO you. 
uWu POMPEY. Let ;;w;; me uWu have x3 youw >w< hand. 
UwU I uWu did nyot >_< think, ^w^ siw, to uWu have >w< met xDD you hewe. 
xDD ANTONY. uWu The beds :33 i' x3 th' East OwO awe soft; ÚwÚ and thanks to UwU you, 
:33 That ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me timewiew than x3 my OwO puwpose hithew; 
For UwU I uWu have gained >_< by't. 
:3 CAESAW. Since UwU I saw xDD you >w< wast 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a change ;;w;; upon OwO you. 
uWu POMPEY. xDD Weww, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot 
>_> What counts UwU hawsh :3 fowtunye uWu casts ;;w;; upon x3 my face; 
OwO But uWu in x3 my ^w^ bosom UwU shaww ^.^ she >_< nyevew come 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 my >_< heawt her ÚwÚ vassaw. 
x3 WEPIDUS. Weww >w< met hewe. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I UwU hope >_> so, Lepidus. ^-^ Thus ^.^ we OwO awe UwU agweed. 
UwU I ^w^ cwave UwU ouw composition OwO may be written, 
xDD And OwO seaw'd ^-^ between >_> us. 
:3 CAESAW. >w< That's x3 the :3 nyext to xDD do. 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ We'ww >_> feast >_< each othew ere ^.^ we >_> pawt, ÚwÚ and >_> wet's 
Draw lots who UwU shaww ;;w;; begin. 
xDD ANTONY. :33 That xDD wiww I, :3 Pompey. 
uWu POMPEY. :3 Nyo, ;;w;; Antony, OwO take x3 the wot; 
But, xDD fiwst ow last, x3 youw OwO finye >_< Egyptian >_> cookewy 
Shall uWu have x3 the ^w^ fame. UwU I uWu have heard :3 that Julius Caesaw 
^w^ Gwew :33 fat with x3 feasting :33 thewe. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> You uWu have heard :33 much. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I uWu have >w< faiw x3 meanyings, sir. 
xDD ANTONY. xDD And >w< faiw wowds to OwO them. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU Then UwU so much uWu have UwU I >_< heawd; 
xDD And UwU I uWu have heard >w< Apowwodowus :33 cawwied- 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. No ^.^ mowe of >_< that! >w< He uWu did :3 so. 
uWu POMPEY. What, UwU I pray you? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ A xDD cewtain >_< queen to Caesaw uWu in :3 a mattress. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee now. How UwU faw'st UwU thou, x3 sowdiew? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ Weww; 
xDD And weww ^w^ am ^.^ wike to UwU do, fow UwU I >_> pewceive 
Four feasts OwO awe towawd. 
uWu POMPEY. Let ;;w;; me ;;w;; shake >w< thy >w< hand. 
UwU I >_< nyevew hated ÚwÚ thee; UwU I uWu have :3 seen uWu thee x3 fight, 
x3 When UwU I uWu have envied >w< thy behaviouw. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. UwU Siw, 
UwU I >_< nyevew :3 wov'd xDD you >_> much; >_> but UwU I UwU ha' UwU pwais'd OwO ye 
x3 When xDD you uWu have weww OwO desewv'd ;;w;; ten times >_< as much 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have uWu said xDD you ^.^ did. 
uWu POMPEY. ^w^ Enjoy >w< thy xDD pwainnyess; 
^.^ It >_< nyothing :33 iww x3 becomes thee. 
Aboard x3 my ^-^ gawwey UwU I invite xDD you all. 
Will xDD you wead, lords? 
uWu AWW. UwU Show's x3 the :3 way, sir. 
uWu POMPEY. >w< Come. Exeunt aww >_> but :3 ENyOBAWBUS ÚwÚ and ^.^ MENyAS 
MENyAS. :3 [Aside] x3 Thy ÚwÚ fathew, Pompey, ^.^ wouwd ^w^ nye'ew uWu have UwU made ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; tweaty.- >_> You ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have ^-^ knyown, sir. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. At :33 sea, UwU I UwU think. 
MENyAS. We have, sir. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_> You uWu have donye weww ^.^ by >_> watew. 
MENyAS. xDD And xDD you ^.^ by xDD wand. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. UwU I Will praise xDD any x3 man :3 that xDD wiww praise OwO me; ^w^ though >w< it 
;;w;; cannyot be >w< denyied >_> what UwU I uWu have donye ^.^ by xDD wand. 
MENyAS. x3 Nyow >_> what UwU I uWu have donye ^.^ by >_> watew. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Yes, ^-^ something xDD you ^.^ can UwU deny fow x3 youw UwU own >_< safety: xDD you 
uWu have :33 been :3 a great UwU thief ^.^ by :33 sea. 
MENyAS. xDD And xDD you ^.^ by xDD wand. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_> Thewe UwU I UwU deny x3 my ÚwÚ wand service. OwO But UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand, 
^.^ Menyas; >_> if UwU ouw eyes xDD had ÚwÚ authowity, OwO hewe ;;w;; they ^w^ might OwO take >w< two 
thieves kissing. 
MENyAS. All men's faces OwO awe ^-^ twue, whatsome'er uWu theiw ^.^ hands x3 awe. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. OwO But there >_> is >_< nyevew :3 a >w< faiw OwO woman >_> has :3 a true ;;w;; face. 
MENyAS. No slander: ;;w;; they ^.^ steaw >w< heawts. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. We ^-^ came ÚwÚ hithew to >w< fight with OwO you. 
MENyAS. For x3 my >_> pawt, UwU I ^w^ am sowwy >w< it >_> is >_> tuwn'd to :3 a ^w^ dwinking. 
ÚwÚ Pompey xDD doth ÚwÚ this day laugh OwO away :33 his xDD fowtunye. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ;;w;; If ^.^ he UwU do, >_< suwe ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot :3 weep't back ;;w;; again. 
MENyAS. ^-^ Y'have said, sir. We >_> wook'd nyot fow >_> Mawk OwO Antony hewe. >_> Pway 
UwU you, >_> is ^.^ he mawwied to UwU Cweopatwa? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Caesaw' :3 sistew >_> is ^w^ caww'd Octavia. 
MENyAS. >_< Twue, siw; ^.^ she UwU was x3 the >w< wife of :3 Caius >_> Mawcewwus. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. OwO But ^.^ she >_> is nyow x3 the >w< wife of x3 Mawcus Antonyius. 
MENyAS. >_> Pway :3 ye, UwU siw? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. 'Tis true. 
MENyAS. UwU Then >_> is Caesaw ÚwÚ and ^.^ he fow OwO evew >w< knyit together. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ;;w;; If UwU I :3 wewe bound to divine of ÚwÚ this unity, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot 
>w< pwophesy :3 so. 
MENyAS. UwU I think x3 the UwU powicy of :3 that OwO puwpose UwU made ^.^ mowe uWu in x3 the ^.^ mawwiage 
than x3 the wuv of x3 the parties. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. UwU I think UwU so UwU too. OwO But xDD you UwU shaww find x3 the band :3 that ;;w;; seems 
to :33 tie uWu theiw ÚwÚ fwiendship togethew xDD wiww be x3 the xDD vewy ;;w;; stwangwew of 
uWu theiw amity: ^-^ Octavia >_> is of :3 a ;;w;; howy, >_< cowd, ÚwÚ and still >w< convewsation. 
MENyAS. Who ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have :33 his >w< wife so? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ he :3 that >_< himsewf >_> is nyot so; which >_> is >_> Mawk Antony. >w< He 
xDD wiww to :33 his >_< Egyptian ^w^ dish again; xDD then UwU shaww x3 the :3 sighs of ^-^ Octavia 
^w^ bwow x3 the fire x3 up uWu in ÚwÚ Caesaw, x3 and, >_< as UwU I uWu said x3 befowe, :3 that which >_> is 
x3 the ÚwÚ stwength of uWu theiw >_< amity UwU shaww ^-^ pwuv x3 the x3 immediate ÚwÚ authow of 
uWu theiw variance. OwO Antony xDD wiww use :33 his :3 affection :3 whewe >w< it is; ^.^ he 
mawwied >_> but :33 his ;;w;; occasion hewe. 
MENyAS. xDD And OwO thus >w< it OwO may >w< be. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, xDD wiww xDD you ^w^ aboawd? UwU I uWu have :3 a 
^.^ heawth fow OwO you. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. UwU I UwU shaww OwO take :33 it, sir. We uWu have ;;w;; us'd UwU ouw ÚwÚ thwoats uWu in :3 Egypt. 
MENyAS. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's xDD away. Exeunt 

uWu ACT_2|SC_7 
>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
On ÚwÚ boawd xDD POMPEY'S >w< gawwey, x3 off OwO Misenyum 

Music xDD pways. Entew >w< two ow >w< thwee ^-^ SEWVANTS with :3 a :33 banquet 

uWu FIWST SEWVANT. :3 Hewe they'ww be, man. ;;w;; Some ^.^ o' uWu theiw x3 pwants OwO awe 
ill-rooted already; x3 the least wind :33 i' x3 th' wowwd xDD wiww ^w^ bwow them 
down. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. xDD Wepidus >_> is high-cowouw'd. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. ^-^ They uWu have UwU made ^.^ him ÚwÚ dwink alms-drink. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. ;;w;; As ;;w;; they pinch one anyothew ^.^ by x3 the uWu disposition, ^.^ he 
x3 cwies x3 out x3 'Nyo more!'; weconciwes them to :33 his entreaty ÚwÚ and >_< himsewf 
to x3 th' ^-^ dwink. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. OwO But >w< it x3 waises x3 the :33 gweatew >w< waw ^-^ between ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :33 his 
discwetion. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. Why, ÚwÚ this >w< it >_> is to uWu have :3 a xDD nyame uWu in great men's 
UwU fewwowship. UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief uWu have :3 a >_< weed :3 that xDD wiww UwU do ;;w;; me nyo OwO sewvice 
>_< as :3 a pawtizan UwU I couwd nyot ^w^ heave. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. ;;w;; To be ^w^ caww'd x3 into :3 a >_> huge OwO sphewe, ÚwÚ and nyot to be :3 seen 
to move OwO in't, OwO awe x3 the holes :3 whewe eyes >_> shouwd be, which >_< pitifuwwy 
xDD disastew x3 the UwU cheeks. 

^-^ A sennet ÚwÚ sounded. Entew ^.^ CAESAW, >_> ANTONY, ;;w;; WEPIDUS, 
^w^ POMPEY, x3 AGWIPPA, :3 MAECENyAS, ENOBARBUS, ^w^ MENyAS, 
with othew uWu CAPTAINS 

xDD ANTONY. :33 [To ;;w;; CAESAW] ^-^ Thus UwU do >w< they, :33 siw: ;;w;; they OwO take x3 the fwow ^.^ o' x3 th' 
:3 Nyiwe 
^-^ By xDD cewtain scawes :33 i' x3 th' pyramid; ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow 
^-^ By x3 th' xDD height, x3 the xDD wownyess, ow x3 the mean, >_> if dearth 
:33 Ow ÚwÚ foison x3 fowwow. uWu The :3 highew Nyiwus ^-^ swewws 
uWu The ^.^ mowe >w< it promises; >_< as >w< it xDD ebbs, x3 the seedsman 
>_> Upon x3 the swime ÚwÚ and :3 ooze scattews :33 his ^w^ gwain, 
xDD And x3 showtwy x3 comes to UwU hawvest. 
x3 WEPIDUS. ^-^ Y'have ;;w;; stwange ;;w;; sewpents :33 thewe. 
xDD ANTONY. Ay, Lepidus. 
x3 WEPIDUS. uWu Youw serpent of Egypt >_> is bwed nyow of x3 youw >_< mud ^.^ by x3 the 
x3 opewation of x3 youw sun; UwU so >_> is x3 youw >w< cwocodiwe. 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ They OwO awe :3 so. 
uWu POMPEY. OwO Sit- ÚwÚ and x3 some :3 winye! ^-^ A ^.^ heawth to Lepidus! 
x3 WEPIDUS. UwU I ^w^ am nyot UwU so weww >_< as UwU I >_> shouwd be, >_> but I'll ^w^ nye'ew OwO out. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ÚwÚ Nyot >w< tiww xDD you uWu have uWu swept. UwU I feaw ;;w;; me you'ww be uWu in >w< tiww 
UwU then. 
x3 WEPIDUS. Nyay, certainly, UwU I uWu have heard x3 the >_< Ptowemies' ^-^ pywamises OwO awe 
xDD vewy xDD goodwy xDD things. Without contradiction UwU I uWu have heard x3 that. 
MENyAS. ^-^ [Aside to UwU POMPEY] Pompey, :3 a OwO wowd. 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ [Aside to MENAS] x3 Say uWu in >_< minye ^-^ eaw; >_> what is't? 
MENyAS. ^-^ [Aside to UwU POMPEY] :3 Fowsake >w< thy >w< seat, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD Captain, 
xDD And hear ;;w;; me speak :3 a OwO wowd. 
uWu POMPEY. :3 [ Whispers in's ear xDD ] OwO Fowbeaw ;;w;; me >w< tiww anon- 
This winye fow Lepidus! 
x3 WEPIDUS. >_> What ^w^ mannyew ^.^ o' ^.^ thing >_> is x3 youw crocodile? 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ It >_> is xDD shap'd, ^w^ siw, ^.^ wike itself, ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is >_< as >_< bwoad >_< as >w< it 
hath ^-^ bweadth; >w< it >_> is >w< just UwU so xDD high >_< as >w< it ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and moves with >w< it UwU own 
organs. ^.^ It ;;w;; wives ^.^ by :3 that which nourisheth :33 it, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ ewements 
>_> once x3 out of :33 it, >w< it OwO twansmigwates. 
x3 WEPIDUS. >_> What colour >_> is >w< it UwU of? 
xDD ANTONY. Of >w< it UwU own colour UwU too. 
x3 WEPIDUS. 'Tis :3 a ;;w;; stwange serpent. 
xDD ANTONY. 'Tis :3 so. xDD And x3 the tears of >w< it OwO awe :3 wet. 
:3 CAESAW. Will ÚwÚ this description satisfy him? 
xDD ANTONY. With x3 the ^.^ heawth :3 that ÚwÚ Pompey ;;w;; gives :3 him, >_> ewse ^.^ he >_> is :3 a xDD vewy 
ÚwÚ epicuwe. 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ [Aside to MENAS] ^w^ Go, uWu hang, ^w^ siw, :33 hang! Teww ;;w;; me of >_< that! 
>_> Away! 
Do >_< as UwU I bid :3 you.- :3 Whewe's ÚwÚ this >w< cup UwU I ^w^ caww'd for? 
MENyAS. ^-^ [Aside to UwU POMPEY] ;;w;; If fow x3 the ÚwÚ sake of merit xDD thou wiwt hear 
uWu me, 
^-^ Wise from >w< thy stoow. 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ [Aside to MENAS] UwU I think th'art >_> mad. ÚwÚ [Wises ÚwÚ and >w< wawks 
aside] uWu The ^.^ mattew? 
MENyAS. UwU I uWu have OwO evew hewd x3 my cap x3 off to >w< thy fortunes. 
uWu POMPEY. ^.^ Thou x3 hast sewv'd ;;w;; me with much ÚwÚ faith. x3 What's >_> ewse to OwO say?- 
^w^ Be jolly, lords. 
xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; These >w< quicksands, Wepidus, 
^w^ Keep x3 off ÚwÚ them, fow xDD you :3 sink. 
MENyAS. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou be ;;w;; wowd of aww x3 the :33 wowwd? 
uWu POMPEY. >_> What say'st thou? 
MENyAS. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou be ;;w;; wowd of x3 the whole :33 wowwd? >w< That's x3 twice. 
uWu POMPEY. How >_> shouwd :3 that :3 be? 
MENyAS. OwO But entertain :33 it, 
xDD And ^w^ though xDD you think ;;w;; me OwO poow, UwU I ^w^ am x3 the x3 man 
Will UwU give uWu thee aww x3 the wowwd. 
uWu POMPEY. Hast xDD thou UwU dwunk ^.^ weww? 
MENyAS. :3 Nyo, Pompey, UwU I uWu have :33 kept ;;w;; me from x3 the >_> cup. 
^.^ Thou awt, >_> if xDD thou ^w^ daw'st be, x3 the ÚwÚ eawthwy ^.^ Juv; 
ÚwÚ Whate'ew x3 the xDD ocean pales ow sky x3 incwips 
Is xDD thinye, >_> if xDD thou wiwt OwO ha't. 
uWu POMPEY. uWu Show ;;w;; me which >_> way. 
MENyAS. ;;w;; These >w< thwee world-sharers, these competitows, 
^w^ Awe uWu in >w< thy vessel. Let ;;w;; me :3 cut x3 the x3 cabwe; 
xDD And when ^.^ we OwO awe put ^w^ off, faww to uWu theiw >_< thwoats. 
All there >_> is ÚwÚ thinye. 
uWu POMPEY. xDD Ah, ÚwÚ this xDD thou shouwdst uWu have :33 donye, 
xDD And nyot uWu have ^-^ spoke ^.^ on't. ^w^ In ;;w;; me UwU 'tis villainy: 
^w^ In :3 thee't xDD had :33 been ÚwÚ good service. ^.^ Thou ^w^ must ^.^ knyow 
'Tis nyot x3 my pwofit :3 that does lead >_< minye uWu honyouw: 
Mine honyouw, :3 it. uWu Wepent :3 that ;;w;; e'ew >w< thy >_> tongue 
>_< Hath UwU so betray'd ^.^ thinye act. uWu Being donye uWu unknyown, 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have >_> found >w< it afterwards weww :33 donye, 
OwO But ^w^ must >_< condemn >w< it now. Desist, ÚwÚ and ^-^ dwink. 
MENyAS. :3 [Aside] For uWu this, 
I'll >_< nyevew ;;w;; fowwow >w< thy pall'd fowtunyes more. 
Who seeks, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot OwO take when >_> once UwU 'tis offew'd, 
Shall >_< nyevew find >w< it more. 
uWu POMPEY. This ^.^ heawth to Lepidus! 
xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Beaw ^.^ him ^.^ ashowe. I'll >_< pwedge >w< it fow :3 him, :3 Pompey. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_> Hewe's to ÚwÚ thee, >w< Menyas! 
MENyAS. Enyobawbus, welcome! 
uWu POMPEY. Fiww >w< tiww x3 the >w< cup be :3 hid. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_> Thewe's :3 a >w< stwong fewwow, ^w^ Menyas. 
>_< [Pointing to x3 the xDD sewvant who xDD cawwies x3 off OwO WEPIDUS] 
MENyAS. xDD Why? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_> 'A bears x3 the thiwd ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, xDD man; UwU see'st ^w^ nyot? 
MENyAS. uWu The thiwd >_> pawt, >w< then, >_> is drunk. Wouwd >w< it :3 wewe all, 
:33 That >w< it ^w^ might OwO go on UwU wheews! 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^w^ Dwink :3 thou; incwease x3 the uWu weews. 
MENyAS. >w< Come. 
uWu POMPEY. This >_> is nyot yet >w< an Alexandrian x3 feast. 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ It >_< wipens uWu towawds :3 it. OwO Stwike x3 the vessels, ho! 
>_> Hewe's to :3 Caesaw! 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I couwd weww UwU fowbeaw't. 
x3 It's monstwous labour when UwU I >_< wash x3 my :3 bwain 
xDD And >w< it gwows ^w^ fouwew. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ Be :3 a chiwd ^.^ o' x3 th' uWu time. 
:3 CAESAW. Possess :33 it, I'll >_< make answer. 
OwO But UwU I xDD had rather ÚwÚ fast from aww fouw OwO days 
Than ÚwÚ dwink UwU so much uWu in onye. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :33 [To >_< ANTONY] >w< Ha, x3 my >_< bwave emperor! 
Shall ^.^ we UwU dance nyow x3 the >_< Egyptian Bacchanyaws 
xDD And cewebwate UwU ouw drink? 
uWu POMPEY. :3 Wet's ^.^ ha't, ÚwÚ good OwO sowdiew. 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's aww OwO take ^.^ hands, 
Tiww :3 that x3 the ^.^ conquewing winye hath uWu steep'd UwU ouw sense 
^w^ In soft ÚwÚ and xDD dewicate Wethe. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. All OwO take ^w^ hands. 
^-^ Make ^-^ battewy to UwU ouw OwO eaws with x3 the ÚwÚ woud ^.^ music, 
uWu The OwO whiwe I'll :33 pwace uWu you; xDD then x3 the ;;w;; boy UwU shaww UwU sing; 
uWu The uWu howding every x3 man UwU shaww UwU beaw >_< as ÚwÚ woud 
;;w;; As :33 his >w< stwong >w< sides ^.^ can volley. 
[Music xDD pways. :3 ENyOBAWBUS pwaces them uWu hand uWu in ^-^ hand] 

^-^ THE OwO SONG 
^.^ Come, xDD thou :33 monyawch of x3 the vine, 
Pwumpy xDD Bacchus with ^-^ pink eyne! 
^w^ In >w< thy ^w^ fats UwU ouw ÚwÚ cawes be dwown'd, 
With >w< thy gwapes UwU ouw >_< haiws be UwU cwown'd. 
ÚwÚ Cup >_> us >w< tiww x3 the wowwd OwO go ^-^ wound, 
ÚwÚ Cup >_> us >w< tiww x3 the wowwd OwO go x3 wound! 

:3 CAESAW. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you UwU mowe? Pompey, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. ^-^ Good brother, 
Let ;;w;; me request xDD you :33 off; UwU ouw OwO gwavew business 
Fwowns uWu at ÚwÚ this levity. ^w^ Gentwe wowds, >_> wet's ^w^ pawt; 
>_> You >_> see ^.^ we uWu have burnt UwU ouw UwU cheeks. :3 Stwong Enyobawb 
Is weaker than x3 the wine, ÚwÚ and >_< minye UwU own >_> tongue 
Spwits >_> what >w< it speaks. uWu The >w< wiwd xDD disguise hath almost 
:33 Antick'd >_> us all. >_> What >_< nyeeds ^.^ mowe xDD wowds? ^-^ Good OwO nyight. 
^-^ Good ;;w;; Antony, x3 youw >w< hand. 
uWu POMPEY. I'll >_> twy xDD you on x3 the ;;w;; showe. 
xDD ANTONY. xDD And UwU shaww, sir. xDD Give's x3 youw >w< hand. 
uWu POMPEY. x3 O ;;w;; Antony, 
>_> You uWu have x3 my father's x3 house- >_> but UwU what? We OwO awe fwiends. 
^.^ Come, down x3 into x3 the ;;w;; boat. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^.^ Take :3 heed xDD you faww not. 
Exeunt aww >_> but :3 ENyOBAWBUS ÚwÚ and ^.^ MENyAS 
Menyas, I'll nyot on ;;w;; showe. 
MENyAS. :3 Nyo, to x3 my ^w^ cabin. 
;;w;; These >_< dwums! these twumpets, :33 fwutes! xDD what! 
Let Nyeptunye hear ^.^ we bid :3 a ÚwÚ woud >_< faweweww 
;;w;; To these great fellows. Sound ÚwÚ and be uWu hang'd, >_> sound out! 
uWu [Sound :3 a flourish, with ^-^ dwums] 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_> Hoo! ;;w;; says ^w^ 'a. >_> Thewe's x3 my cap. 
MENyAS. >_> Hoo! Noble xDD Captain, x3 come. Exeunt 
OwO ACT_3|SC_1 
^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^-^ A uWu pwain uWu in Syria 

Entew VENTIDIUS, >_< as >w< it :3 wewe uWu in :3 twiumph, with OwO SIWIUS 
ÚwÚ and othew uWu Womans, OFFICEWS ÚwÚ and soldiers; x3 the >_< dead >w< body 
of PACORUS :3 bownye >w< befowe ^.^ him 

ÚwÚ VENTIDIUS. >_> Nyow, dawting uWu Pawthia, awt xDD thou struck, ÚwÚ and nyow 
Pleas'd :3 fowtunye does of x3 Mawcus Crassus' :33 death 
^-^ Make ;;w;; me revenger. ÚwÚ Beaw x3 the >_< King's ÚwÚ son's >w< body 
^.^ Befowe UwU ouw army. x3 Thy xDD Pacowus, ^.^ Owodes, 
UwU Pays ÚwÚ this fow x3 Mawcus Crassus. 
SILIUS. Noble Ventidius, 
Whilst yet with x3 Pawthian :3 bwood >w< thy xDD swowd >_> is wawm 
uWu The ;;w;; fugitive uWu Pawthians >w< fowwow; ^w^ spuw ^w^ thwough ;;w;; Media, 
;;w;; Mesopotamia, ÚwÚ and x3 the shewtews :33 whithew 
uWu The uWu wouted fwy. ^w^ So >w< thy grand ;;w;; captain, ;;w;; Antony, 
Shall uWu set uWu thee on x3 twiumphant chariots ÚwÚ and 
>_> Put gawwands on >w< thy >_> head. 
ÚwÚ VENTIDIUS. x3 O xDD Siwius, xDD Siwius, 
UwU I uWu have donye enyough. ^-^ A >_< wowew pwace, ^-^ nyote weww, 
^-^ May >_< make ^w^ too great >w< an ÚwÚ act; fow :3 weawn uWu this, Silius: 
uWu Bettew to OwO weave ÚwÚ undonye than ^.^ by UwU ouw ^.^ deed 
UwU Acquiwe ^w^ too xDD high :3 a fame when ^.^ him ^.^ we sewve's xDD away. 
Caesaw ÚwÚ and OwO Antony uWu have OwO evew ^.^ won 
uWu Mowe uWu in uWu theiw officer, than person. uWu Sossius, 
x3 Onye of x3 my :33 pwace uWu in Syria, :33 his wieutenyant, 
For ^w^ quick uWu accumuwation of OwO wenyown, 
>_< Which ^.^ he ÚwÚ achiev'd ^.^ by x3 th' ;;w;; minyute, wost :33 his UwU favouw. 
Who does :33 i' x3 th' UwU waws ^.^ mowe than :33 his UwU captain ^.^ can 
>_> Becomes :33 his captain's captain; ÚwÚ and ambition, 
uWu The ^w^ sowdiew's virtue, rather x3 makes UwU choice of ^-^ woss 
Than ^.^ gain which darkens ^.^ him. 
UwU I couwd UwU do ^.^ mowe to UwU do >w< Antonyius UwU good, 
OwO But ^w^ 'twouwd ^-^ offend him; ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his offence 
Should x3 my :3 pewfowmance x3 pewish. 
SILIUS. ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ hast, Ventidius, :3 that 
Without x3 the which :3 a soldier ÚwÚ and :33 his xDD swowd 
^w^ Gwants scawce >_> distinction. ^.^ Thou wiwt >w< wwite to Antony? 
ÚwÚ VENTIDIUS. I'll x3 humbwy :33 signyify >_> what uWu in :33 his :33 nyame, 
:33 That ;;w;; magicaw ;;w;; wowd of waw, ^.^ we uWu have effected; 
How, with :33 his uWu bannyews, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ weww-paid ranks, 
uWu The ne'er-yet-beaten UwU howse of Pawthia 
We uWu have jaded x3 out ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> fiewd. 
SILIUS. Whewe >_> is ^.^ he ^.^ nyow? 
ÚwÚ VENTIDIUS. >w< He puwposeth to Athens; whither, with >_> what ^.^ haste 
uWu The >_> weight ^.^ we ^w^ must :33 convey with's xDD wiww xDD pewmit, 
We UwU shaww appeaw >w< befowe OwO him.- ÚwÚ On, uWu thewe; pass >_> awong. 
Exeunt 

:33 ACT_3|SC_2 
>w< SCENyE UwU II. xDD Wome. >w< CAESAW'S ;;w;; house 

Entew AGRIPPA uWu at one door, :3 ENyOBAWBUS uWu at anyothew 

uWu AGWIPPA. What, OwO awe x3 the bwothews OwO pawted? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ They uWu have x3 dispatch'd with xDD Pompey; ^.^ he >_> is xDD gonye; 
uWu The othew >w< thwee OwO awe sealing. ^-^ Octavia ^.^ weeps 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ pawt from Rome; Caesaw >_> is OwO sad; ÚwÚ and Wepidus, 
Since >_> Pompey's OwO feast, >_< as Menas says, >_> is troubled 
With x3 the green sicknyess. 
uWu AGWIPPA. 'Tis :3 a x3 nyobwe Lepidus. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ A xDD vewy OwO finye onye. >_< O, >w< how ^.^ he loves :3 Caesaw! 
uWu AGWIPPA. Nyay, >_> but >w< how ÚwÚ deawwy ^.^ he ^.^ adowes >_> Mawk Antony! 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ Caesaw? Why uWu he's x3 the Jupiter of ^.^ men. 
uWu AGWIPPA. x3 What's Antony? uWu The god of ^.^ Jupitew. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^w^ Spake xDD you of ^-^ Caesaw? OwO How! x3 the uWu nyonpaweiw! 
uWu AGWIPPA. >_< O, Antony! x3 O xDD thou Arabian biwd! 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Wouwd xDD you praise ÚwÚ Caesaw, >_> say ;;w;; 'Caesaw'- OwO go nyo fuwthew. 
uWu AGWIPPA. >w< Indeed, ^.^ he plied them both with :3 excewwent ÚwÚ pwaises. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. OwO But ^.^ he loves Caesaw >_> best. ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ he loves Antony. 
>_> Hoo! hearts, tongues, ^w^ figuwes, :33 scwibes, >_< bawds, x3 poets, ;;w;; cannyot 
:3 Think, :3 speak, :3 cast, wwite, ^w^ sing, nyumbew- hoo!- 
ÚwÚ His wuv to Antony. OwO But >_< as fow ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
>_> Knyeew ;;w;; down, ^w^ knyeew ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and :3 wondew. 
uWu AGWIPPA. UwU Both ^.^ he :3 wuvs. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ They OwO awe :33 his shawds, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he uWu theiw UwU beetwe. x3 [Twumpets 
;;w;; within] :3 So- 
This >_> is to horse. :3 Adieu, x3 nyobwe UwU Agwippa. 
uWu AGWIPPA. ^-^ Good fowtunye, ÚwÚ wowthy sowdiew, ÚwÚ and farewell. 

Entew ^.^ CAESAW, >_> ANTONY, ;;w;; WEPIDUS, ÚwÚ and ^w^ OCTAVIA 

xDD ANTONY. No further, sir. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> You OwO take from ;;w;; me :3 a great ÚwÚ pawt of >_< mysewf; 
^w^ Use ;;w;; me weww ÚwÚ in't. x3 Sistew, ^-^ pwuv xDD such :3 a >w< wife 
;;w;; As x3 my >_< thoughts >_< make ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and >_< as x3 my ^-^ fawthest band 
Shall pass on >w< thy approof. :3 Most x3 nyobwe ;;w;; Antony, 
Let nyot x3 the ^.^ piece of viwtue which >_> is uWu set 
Betwixt >_> us >_< as x3 the UwU cement of UwU ouw wuv 
;;w;; To >_< keep >w< it builded be x3 the :33 wam to batter 
uWu The ÚwÚ fowtwess of uWu it; fow xDD bettew ^w^ might ^.^ we 
:3 Have :3 wov'd ^-^ without ÚwÚ this mean, >_> if on both parts 
This be nyot chewish'd. 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ Make ;;w;; me nyot uWu offended 
^w^ In x3 youw :33 distwust. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I uWu have UwU said. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> You UwU shaww nyot ^w^ find, 
;;w;; Though xDD you be thewein >w< cuwious, x3 the least cause 
For >_> what xDD you xDD seem to ;;w;; feaw. ^w^ So x3 the gods >_< keep UwU you, 
xDD And >_< make x3 the heawts of Romans serve x3 youw ^.^ ends! 
We xDD wiww OwO hewe part. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU Faweweww, x3 my deawest ^-^ sistew, ^-^ fawe uWu thee well. 
uWu The ÚwÚ ewements be uWu kind to uWu thee ÚwÚ and >_< make 
x3 Thy ;;w;; spiwits aww of comfort! >w< Fawe uWu thee well. 
OCTAVIA. OwO My x3 nyobwe xDD bwothew! 
xDD ANTONY. uWu The :3 Apwiw's uWu in her :3 eyes. ^.^ It >_> is love's spring, 
xDD And these x3 the >w< showews to ;;w;; bwing >w< it :3 on. ^w^ Be cheewfuw. 
OCTAVIA. UwU Siw, wook weww to x3 my husband's ^.^ house; and- 
:3 CAESAW. What, :33 Octavia? 
OCTAVIA. I'll tell xDD you uWu in x3 youw :3 eaw. 
xDD ANTONY. :3 Hew >_> tongue xDD wiww nyot UwU obey her uWu heawt, nor ^.^ can 
:3 Hew >_< heawt infowm her tongue- x3 the OwO swan's down ^w^ feathew, 
:33 That >w< stands ;;w;; upon x3 the sweww uWu at x3 the full of OwO tide, 
xDD And :3 nyeithew uWu way incwinyes. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ [Aside to xDD AGWIPPA] Will Caesaw ^w^ weep? 
uWu AGWIPPA. ^-^ [Aside to >w< ENyOBAWBUS] >w< He >_> has :3 a ;;w;; cwoud in's ;;w;; face. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ [Aside to xDD AGWIPPA] >w< He :3 wewe x3 the xDD wowse fow :3 that, :3 wewe ^.^ he :3 a 
:33 howse; 
^w^ So >_> is xDD he, ^.^ being :3 a man. 
uWu AGWIPPA. ^-^ [Aside to >w< ENyOBAWBUS] Why, Enyobawbus, 
x3 When OwO Antony >_> found Julius Caesaw >_< dead, 
>w< He cried almost to >w< woawing; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :33 wept 
x3 When uWu at Philippi ^.^ he >_> found Brutus ^w^ swain. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ [Aside to xDD AGWIPPA] :33 That >w< yeaw, :33 indeed, ^.^ he UwU was troubled 
with :3 a rheum; 
>_> What ^w^ wiwwingwy ^.^ he uWu did confound ^.^ he OwO waiw'd, 
Believe't- >w< tiww UwU I xDD weep UwU too. 
:3 CAESAW. :3 Nyo, x3 sweet >w< Octavia, 
>_> You UwU shaww hear from ;;w;; me stiww; x3 the time UwU shaww nyot 
uWu Out-go x3 my uWu thinking on OwO you. 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, >_< come; 
I'll wrestle with xDD you uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ stwength of love. 
x3 Wook, OwO hewe UwU I uWu have uWu you; OwO thus UwU I wet xDD you x3 go, 
xDD And UwU give xDD you to x3 the gods. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> Adieu; be happy! 
x3 WEPIDUS. Let aww x3 the ^w^ nyumbew of x3 the stars UwU give >w< wight 
;;w;; To >w< thy >w< faiw >_< way! 
:3 CAESAW. UwU Faweweww, farewell! ^.^ [Kisses OCTAVIA] 
xDD ANTONY. >_< Faweweww! Twumpets UwU sound. Exeunt 

xDD ACT_3|SC_3 
>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
>_> Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew :33 CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, x3 IWAS, ÚwÚ and ALEXAS 

UwU CWEOPATWA. Whewe >_> is x3 the fewwow? 
AWEXAS. >_> Hawf >_< afeawd to x3 come. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Go ^.^ to, OwO go ;;w;; to. 

Entew x3 the MESSENGEW >_< as >w< befowe 

:3 Come hithew, sir. 
AWEXAS. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ Majesty, 
OwO Hewod of ^-^ Jewwy dawe nyot wook ;;w;; upon xDD you 
OwO But when xDD you OwO awe weww pweas'd. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :33 That Herod's >_> head 
I'll :3 have. OwO But how, when OwO Antony >_> is >w< gonye, 
^.^ Thwough ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^w^ might ÚwÚ command :33 it? :3 Come xDD thou ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
x3 MESSENGEW. :3 Most >_> gwacious Majesty! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou behowd :33 Octavia? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Ay, xDD dwead ÚwÚ Queen. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. OwO Whewe? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Madam, uWu in ÚwÚ Wome 
UwU I >_> wook'd her uWu in x3 the >w< face, ÚwÚ and saw her x3 wed 
Between her ÚwÚ bwothew ÚwÚ and >_> Mawk Antony. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Is ^.^ she >_< as ;;w;; taww >_< as me? 
x3 MESSENGEW. :33 She >_> is >_> nyot, UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; Didst hear her x3 speak? Is ^.^ she shwiww-tongu'd ow ^.^ wow? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Madam, UwU I heard her ^w^ speak: ^.^ she >_> is xDD wow-voic'd. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >w< That's nyot UwU so UwU good. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ wike her wong. 
CHARMIAN. Wike OwO hew? x3 O :33 Isis! UwU 'tis >_> impossibwe. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I think >_> so, Charmian. ^-^ Duww of >_> tongue ÚwÚ and x3 dwawfish! 
>_> What ^.^ majesty >_> is uWu in her ;;w;; gait? OwO Wemembew, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; e'ew xDD thou x3 wook'dst on :33 majesty. 
x3 MESSENGEW. :33 She xDD cweeps. 
:3 Hew >_> motion ÚwÚ and her :33 station OwO awe >_< as onye; 
:33 She >_< shows :3 a >w< body rather than :3 a :3 wife, 
^-^ A statue than :3 a :3 bweathew. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Is ÚwÚ this ^w^ cewtain? 
x3 MESSENGEW. :33 Ow UwU I uWu have nyo UwU obsewvance. 
CHARMIAN. Thwee uWu in Egypt 
UwU Cannyot >_< make xDD bettew note. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. He's xDD vewy UwU knyowing; 
UwU I UwU do ^.^ pewceive't. >_> Thewe's >_< nyothing uWu in her >_> yet. 
uWu The fewwow >_> has ÚwÚ good ;;w;; judgment. 
CHARMIAN. OwO Excewwent. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU Guess uWu at her years, UwU I UwU pwithee. 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Madam, 
:33 She UwU was :3 a >_> widow. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ÚwÚ Widow? Charmian, x3 hawk! 
x3 MESSENGEW. xDD And UwU I UwU do think ^w^ she's xDD thiwty. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Bear'st xDD thou her OwO face uWu in :3 mind? ^-^ Is't ^-^ wong ow wound? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Round even to fauwtinyess. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. For x3 the UwU most >_> pawt, :3 too, ;;w;; they OwO awe >_< foowish :3 that OwO awe :3 so. 
:3 Hew hair, >_> what xDD cowouw? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Brown, x3 madam; ÚwÚ and her forehead 
;;w;; As wow >_< as ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ wish :3 it. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> Thewe's gowd fow thee. 
^.^ Thou ^w^ must nyot OwO take x3 my xDD fowmew UwU shawpnyess ill. 
UwU I xDD wiww :33 empwoy uWu thee back again; UwU I find uWu thee 
:3 Most ;;w;; fit fow business. Go >_< make uWu thee weady; 
Our x3 wettews OwO awe prepar'd. Exeunt MESSENGEW 
CHARMIAN. ^-^ A OwO pwopew man. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >w< Indeed, ^.^ he >_> is :3 so. UwU I wepent ;;w;; me much 
:33 That UwU so UwU I hawwied ^.^ him. Why, UwU methinks, ^.^ by :3 him, 
This ÚwÚ cweatuwe's nyo xDD such >_> thing. 
CHARMIAN. UwU Nyothing, UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. uWu The x3 man hath :3 seen x3 some ^.^ majesty, ÚwÚ and >_> shouwd :33 knyow. 
CHARMIAN. >_< Hath ^.^ he :3 seen xDD majesty? OwO Isis >_> ewse defend, 
xDD And serving xDD you UwU so uWu wong! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I uWu have one ^.^ thing ^.^ mowe to ^w^ ask ^.^ him ^w^ yet, ÚwÚ good Charmian. 
OwO But UwU 'tis nyo mattew; xDD thou shalt ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to ;;w;; me 
Whewe UwU I xDD wiww write. All OwO may be weww enyough. 
CHARMIAN. UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, UwU madam. Exeunt 

:33 ACT_3|SC_4 
>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
OwO Athens. ^-^ ANTONY'S ;;w;; house 

Entew >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and ^w^ OCTAVIA 

xDD ANTONY. Nyay, x3 nyay, >w< Octavia, nyot >w< onwy >_< that- 
:33 That :3 wewe ^.^ excusabwe, :3 that ÚwÚ and thousands ^.^ mowe 
Of semblable OwO impowt- >_> but ^.^ he hath ^w^ wag'd 
xDD Nyew UwU waws uWu 'gainst xDD Pompey; UwU made :33 his :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wead >w< it 
;;w;; To public ^-^ eaw; 
OwO Spoke x3 scandy of OwO me; when ^.^ pewfowce ^.^ he couwd nyot 
OwO But x3 pay ;;w;; me terms of honyouw, UwU cowd ÚwÚ and >_> sickwy 
>w< He OwO vented ÚwÚ them, UwU most nyawwow UwU measuwe OwO went OwO me; 
x3 When x3 the best hint UwU was UwU given :3 him, ^.^ he nyot :33 took't, 
:33 Ow uWu did >w< it from :33 his teeth. 
OCTAVIA. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
:3 Bewieve nyot aww; ow >_> if xDD you ^w^ must :33 bewieve, 
uWu Stomach nyot all. ^-^ A ^.^ mowe xDD unhappy UwU wady, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this OwO division chance, ^w^ nye'ew :33 stood >_> between, 
UwU Pwaying fow both pawts. 
uWu The ÚwÚ good gods xDD wiww ÚwÚ mock ;;w;; me presently 
x3 When UwU I UwU shaww pray 'O, ;;w;; bwess x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and husband!' 
>_> Undo :3 that :3 pwayew ^.^ by :3 cwying x3 out >_< as ÚwÚ woud 
'O, ;;w;; bwess x3 my bwothew!' ;;w;; Husband xDD win, x3 win brother, 
Pways, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ destwoys x3 the uWu pwayew; nyo mid-way 
UwU 'Twixt these extwemes uWu at all. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ Gentwe >w< Octavia, 
Let x3 youw best wuv dwaw to :3 that :33 point which >_> seeks 
UwU Best to pwesewve :3 it. ;;w;; If UwU I wose >_< minye honyouw, 
UwU I wose >_< mysewf; xDD bettew UwU I :3 wewe nyot >_> youws 
Than >_> youws UwU so branchless. But, >_< as xDD you ^.^ wequested, 
;;w;; Youwsewf UwU shaww OwO go UwU between's. uWu The >_> meantime, UwU wady, 
I'll >w< waise x3 the uWu pwepawation of :3 a >w< waw 
Shall stain x3 youw ^-^ bwothew. ^-^ Make x3 youw ^-^ soonyest haste; 
^w^ So x3 youw desiwes OwO awe x3 youws. 
OCTAVIA. x3 Thanks to x3 my OwO wowd. 
uWu The Juv of powew >_< make uWu me, UwU most ÚwÚ weak, UwU most ÚwÚ weak, 
uWu Youw reconciler! :33 Waws 'twixt xDD you twain ^.^ wouwd be 
;;w;; As >_> if x3 the wowwd >_> shouwd ;;w;; cweave, ÚwÚ and :3 that :3 swain ;;w;; men 
Should :33 sowdew x3 up x3 the wift. 
xDD ANTONY. x3 When >w< it >_> appeaws to xDD you :3 whewe ÚwÚ this x3 begins, 
Tuwn x3 youw >_< dispweasuwe :3 that :3 way, fow UwU ouw :33 fauwts 
UwU Can >_< nyevew be UwU so equal :3 that x3 youw wuv 
UwU Can equally move with OwO them. Provide x3 youw ;;w;; going; 
Choose x3 youw UwU own xDD company, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ command >_> what >_> cost 
uWu Youw >_< heawt >_> has ^-^ mind ;;w;; to. Exeunt 

uWu ACT_3|SC_5 
>w< SCENyE V. 
OwO Athens. ^-^ ANTONY'S ;;w;; house 

Entew :3 ENyOBAWBUS ÚwÚ and >_> EWOS, meeting 

;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. How now, :33 fwiend Ewos! 
EWOS. >_> Thewe's ;;w;; stwange nyews come, sir. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. What, man? 
EWOS. Caesaw ÚwÚ and xDD Wepidus uWu have UwU made UwU waws ;;w;; upon :3 Pompey. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. This >_> is ^-^ owd. >_> What >_> is x3 the xDD success? 
EWOS. ÚwÚ Caesaw, xDD having UwU made use of ^.^ him uWu in x3 the UwU waws uWu 'gainst Pompey, 
presently >w< denyied ^.^ him ;;w;; wivawity, ^.^ wouwd nyot wet ^.^ him partake uWu in x3 the 
:3 gwowy of x3 the ^.^ action; ÚwÚ and nyot resting UwU hewe, :33 accuses ^.^ him of x3 wettews 
^.^ he xDD had formerly wwote to xDD Pompey; ;;w;; upon :33 his UwU own ^.^ appeaw, ^w^ seizes ^.^ him. 
^w^ So x3 the poor thiwd >_> is up, >w< tiww :33 death >_< enwawge :33 his uWu confinye. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Then, ^w^ wowwd, xDD thou x3 hast :3 a :33 paiw of ^.^ chaps- nyo mowe; 
xDD And ^-^ thwow ^-^ between them aww x3 the OwO food xDD thou ÚwÚ hast, 
x3 They'ww grind x3 the one x3 the :3 othew. :3 Whewe's Antony? 
EWOS. He's ^.^ wawking uWu in x3 the x3 gawden- thus, ÚwÚ and spuwns 
uWu The >_< wush :3 that wies >w< befowe him; x3 cwies 'Fool Wepidus!' 
xDD And threats x3 the ^w^ thwoat of :3 that :33 his officer 
:33 That ^-^ muwd'wed :3 Pompey. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Our great >_> nyavy's ÚwÚ wigg'd. 
EWOS. For Italy ÚwÚ and Caesaw. :33 Mowe, uWu Domitius: 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd desiwes xDD you ^-^ pwesentwy; x3 my nyews 
UwU I ^w^ might uWu have told x3 heweaftew. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. 'Twiww be naught; 
OwO But wet >w< it >w< be. Bring ;;w;; me to Antony. 
EWOS. ^.^ Come, sir. Exeunt 

ACT_3|SC_6 
>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
xDD Wome. >w< CAESAW'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ^.^ CAESAW, x3 AGWIPPA, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ MAECENyAS 

:3 CAESAW. OwO Contemnying ^w^ Wome, ^.^ he >_> has donye aww ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe 
^w^ In >_> Awexandwia. >_> Hewe's x3 the ^w^ mannyew xDD of't: 
xDD I' x3 th' mawket-pwace, on :3 a twibunyaw siwvew'd, 
Cleopatra ÚwÚ and >_< himsewf uWu in >_> chaiws of gowd 
^.^ Wewe ÚwÚ pubwicwy ÚwÚ enthwon'd; uWu at x3 the ;;w;; feet sat 
Caesawion, ÚwÚ whom ;;w;; they caww x3 my father's x3 son, 
xDD And aww x3 the unwawfuw x3 issue :3 that uWu theiw lust 
Since xDD then hath UwU made ^-^ between OwO them. uWu Unto her 
>w< He uWu gave x3 the ;;w;; stabwishment of >_< Egypt; UwU made her 
Of >_< wowew Syria, Cypwus, >_< Wydia, 
Absolute >w< queen. 
:3 MAECENyAS. This uWu in x3 the public ÚwÚ eye? 
:3 CAESAW. xDD I' x3 th' ^w^ common show-pwace, :3 whewe ;;w;; they xDD exewcise. 
ÚwÚ His xDD sons ^.^ he there proclaim'd x3 the >w< kings of :33 kings: 
UwU Gweat ;;w;; Media, uWu Pawthia, ÚwÚ and UwU Awmenyia, 
>w< He uWu gave to OwO Awexandew; to Ptowemy ^.^ he UwU assign'd 
Syria, Ciwicia, ÚwÚ and >_< Phoenyicia. :33 She 
^w^ In x3 th' habiwiments of x3 the ÚwÚ goddess OwO Isis 
:33 That day appear'd; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; oft >w< befowe uWu gave uWu audience, 
;;w;; As UwU 'tis wepowted, :3 so. 
:3 MAECENyAS. Let ÚwÚ Wome be OwO thus 
:33 Infowm'd. 
uWu AGWIPPA. UwU Who, ^.^ queasy with :33 his :3 insowence 
uWu Awweady, xDD wiww uWu theiw ÚwÚ good >_< thoughts caww from ^.^ him. 
:3 CAESAW. uWu The OwO peopwe xDD knyows :33 it, ÚwÚ and uWu have nyow weceiv'd 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ accusations. 
uWu AGWIPPA. Who does ^.^ he ^-^ accuse? 
:3 CAESAW. OwO Caesaw; ÚwÚ and :3 that, xDD having uWu in ;;w;; Siciwy 
;;w;; Sextus Pompeius spoil'd, ^.^ we xDD had nyot :33 wated ^.^ him 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> iswe. UwU Then does ^.^ he >_> say ^.^ he OwO went ;;w;; me 
;;w;; Some shipping, unrestor'd. Lastly, ^.^ he ^.^ fwets 
:33 That xDD Wepidus of x3 the UwU twiumviwate 
Should be ^.^ depos'd; x3 and, x3 being, :3 that ^.^ we ^w^ detain 
All :33 his ^w^ wevenyue. 
uWu AGWIPPA. UwU Siw, ÚwÚ this >_> shouwd be ^w^ answew'd. 
:3 CAESAW. 'Tis donye already, ÚwÚ and :3 messengew ;;w;; gonye. 
UwU I uWu have told ^.^ him xDD Wepidus UwU was grown ^w^ too ^-^ cwuew, 
:33 That ^.^ he :33 his xDD high ÚwÚ authowity ÚwÚ abus'd, 
xDD And uWu did OwO desewve :33 his :3 change. For >_> what UwU I uWu have conquer'd 
UwU I gwant ^.^ him ^w^ pawt; >_> but >w< then, uWu in :33 his :3 Awmenyia 
xDD And othew of :33 his conquer'd >_< kingdoms, 
xDD Demand x3 the >_> wike. 
:3 MAECENyAS. ^-^ He'ww >_< nyevew yield to x3 that. 
:3 CAESAW. x3 Nyow ^w^ must nyot xDD then be yiewded to uWu in UwU this. 

Entew OwO OCTAVIA, with her twain 

OCTAVIA. >w< Haiw, ÚwÚ Caesaw, ÚwÚ and x3 my ^.^ wowd! hail, UwU most uWu deaw :3 Caesaw! 
:3 CAESAW. :33 That OwO evew UwU I >_> shouwd caww uWu thee ÚwÚ cast-away! 
OCTAVIA. >_> You uWu have nyot ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me >_> so, nor uWu have xDD you OwO cause. 
:3 CAESAW. Why uWu have xDD you :3 stow'n ;;w;; upon >_> us >_< thus? >_> You come nyot 
Wike Caesar's sister. uWu The >w< wife of OwO Antony 
Should uWu have >w< an ^.^ awmy fow >w< an usher, ÚwÚ and 
uWu The >w< nyeighs of UwU howse to tell of her appwoach 
OwO Wong ere ^.^ she uWu did :3 appeaw. uWu The trees ^.^ by x3 th' uWu way 
Should uWu have :3 bownye men, ÚwÚ and expectation ÚwÚ fainted, 
Wonging fow >_> what >w< it xDD had not. Nyay, x3 the x3 dust 
Should uWu have ^.^ ascended to x3 the ÚwÚ woof of ^.^ heaven, 
Wais'd ^.^ by x3 youw uWu popuwous uWu twoops. OwO But xDD you OwO awe come 
^-^ A >w< mawket-maid to ^w^ Wome, ÚwÚ and uWu have prevented 
uWu The ^.^ ostentation of UwU ouw xDD wuv, which left unshown 
Is often left >_> unwov'd. We >_> shouwd uWu have >w< met xDD you 
^-^ By sea ÚwÚ and land, xDD suppwying every stage 
With >w< an augmented ^.^ gweeting. 
OCTAVIA. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; To come OwO thus UwU was UwU I nyot x3 constwain'd, >_> but uWu did >w< it 
On x3 my fwee :33 wiww. OwO My uWu wowd, >_> Mawk ;;w;; Antony, 
Heawing :3 that xDD you pwepaw'd fow waw, >_> acquainted 
OwO My gwieved ear withal; wheweon UwU I begg'd 
ÚwÚ His UwU pawdon fow wetuwn. 
:3 CAESAW. >_< Which >w< soon ^.^ he ^-^ gwanted, 
uWu Being >w< an >_< obstwuct >_> 'tween :33 his lust ÚwÚ and ^.^ him. 
OCTAVIA. Do nyot >_> say >_> so, x3 my OwO wowd. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I uWu have eyes ;;w;; upon :3 him, 
xDD And :33 his affairs come to ;;w;; me on x3 the ^.^ wind. 
Whewe >_> is ^.^ he ^.^ nyow? 
OCTAVIA. OwO My uWu wowd, uWu in OwO Athens. 
:3 CAESAW. :3 Nyo, x3 my UwU most ;;w;; wwonged ^-^ sistew: Cleopatra 
>_< Hath UwU nyodded ^.^ him to her. >w< He hath UwU given :33 his empire 
Up to :3 a ^-^ whowe, who nyow OwO awe UwU wevying 
uWu The >w< kings ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ eawth fow waw. >w< He hath >_> assembwed 
>w< Bocchus, x3 the x3 king of x3 Wibya; Awchewaus 
Of Cappadocia; >_< Phiwadewphos, x3 king 
Of >_< Paphwagonyia; x3 the x3 Thwacian OwO king, Adawwas; 
^w^ King Manchus of ^.^ Awabia; ^w^ King of ^w^ Pont; 
OwO Hewod of Jewwy; Mithridates, x3 king 
Of Comagenye; Powemon ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Amyntas, 
uWu The >w< kings of ÚwÚ Mede ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Wycaonyia, with 
uWu Mowe wawgew ÚwÚ wist of x3 sceptwes. 
OCTAVIA. uWu Ay ;;w;; me UwU most wretched, 
:33 That uWu have x3 my >_< heawt pawted betwixt >w< two OwO fwiends, 
:33 That does UwU affwict >_< each othew! 
:3 CAESAW. Welcome hithew. 
uWu Youw x3 wettews uWu did :3 withhowd UwU ouw breaking ^-^ fowth, 
Tiww ^.^ we ^-^ pewceiv'd both >w< how xDD you :3 wewe wrong x3 wed 
xDD And ^.^ we uWu in negligent danger. Cheer x3 youw heawt; 
^w^ Be xDD you nyot troubled with x3 the time, which drives 
^w^ O'ew x3 youw :3 content these >w< stwong x3 nyecessities, 
OwO But wet ;;w;; detewmin'd ^.^ things to ^.^ destiny 
:33 Howd ^w^ unbewaiw'd uWu theiw >_> way. Welcome to Rome; 
Nyothing ^.^ mowe uWu deaw to x3 me. >_> You OwO awe UwU abus'd 
^.^ Beyond x3 the mark of ^-^ thought, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD high uWu gods, 
;;w;; To UwU do xDD you justice, >_< make uWu theiw ministers 
Of >_> us ÚwÚ and UwU those :3 that wuv OwO you. UwU Best of comfort, 
xDD And OwO evew wewcome to >_> us. 
uWu AGWIPPA. Welcome, >_> wady. 
:3 MAECENyAS. Welcome, uWu deaw UwU madam. 
x3 Each >_< heawt uWu in ÚwÚ Wome does wuv ÚwÚ and pity uWu you; 
Onwy x3 th' aduwtewous ;;w;; Antony, UwU most large 
^w^ In :33 his abominyations, tuwns xDD you ^w^ off, 
xDD And ;;w;; gives :33 his x3 potent >_< wegiment to :3 a twuww 
:33 That nyoises >w< it OwO against >_> us. 
OCTAVIA. Is >w< it >_> so, UwU siw? 
:3 CAESAW. :3 Most cewtain. x3 Sistew, x3 wewcome. >_> Pway xDD you 
^w^ Be OwO evew ÚwÚ knyown to OwO patience. OwO My x3 deaw'st sistew! Exeunt 

ACT_3|SC_7 
>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
^-^ ANTONY'S ÚwÚ camp nyeaw Actium 

Entew CLEOPATRA ÚwÚ and :3 ENyOBAWBUS 

UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I xDD wiww be even with ÚwÚ thee, doubt >w< it not. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. OwO But >w< why, >w< why, 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^.^ Thou x3 hast ^w^ fowspoke x3 my ^.^ being uWu in these ^-^ waws, 
xDD And say'st >w< it >_> is nyot ^w^ fit. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. xDD Weww, >_> is :33 it, >_> is :33 it? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ Is't nyot denounc'd OwO against us? Why >_> shouwd nyot ^.^ we 
^w^ Be there uWu in ^.^ pewson? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :3 [Aside] xDD Weww, UwU I couwd wepwy: 
;;w;; If ^.^ we >_> shouwd serve with UwU howse ÚwÚ and :3 mawes togethew 
uWu The UwU howse :3 wewe mewewy ^.^ wost; x3 the :3 mawes ^.^ wouwd UwU beaw 
^-^ A soldier ÚwÚ and :33 his horse. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> What :3 is't xDD you ^.^ say? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. uWu Youw x3 pwesence >_< nyeeds ^w^ must puzzwe uWu Antony; 
^.^ Take from :33 his uWu heawt, OwO take from :33 his :3 bwain, ;;w;; fwom's time, 
>_> What >_> shouwd nyot xDD then be UwU spaw'd. >w< He >_> is xDD awweady 
uWu Twaduc'd fow wevity; ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis uWu said uWu in ÚwÚ Wome 
:33 That ^-^ Photinyus >w< an eunuch ÚwÚ and x3 youw ^w^ maids 
Manage ÚwÚ this waw. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ Sink ^w^ Wome, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw tongues uWu wot 
:33 That speak OwO against ÚwÚ us! ^-^ A :3 chawge ^.^ we UwU beaw :33 i' x3 th' waw, 
^.^ And, >_< as x3 the pwesident of x3 my :33 kingdom, xDD wiww 
Appear there fow :3 a man. ^w^ Speak nyot OwO against uWu it; 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot xDD stay behind. 

Entew >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and >_< CANyIDIUS 

;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Nyay, UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. 
:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the ÚwÚ Empewow. 
xDD ANTONY. Is >w< it nyot >_> stwange, uWu Canyidius, 
:33 That from ÚwÚ Tawentum ÚwÚ and Brundusium 
>w< He couwd UwU so quickly :3 cut x3 the UwU Ionyian :33 sea, 
xDD And OwO take uWu in >_< Towynye?- >_> You uWu have heard on't, sweet? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Celerity >_> is >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ admiw'd 
Than ^.^ by x3 the nyegwigent. 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good webuke, 
>_< Which ^w^ might uWu have weww xDD becom'd x3 the best of ;;w;; men 
;;w;; To :3 taunt uWu at UwU swacknyess. uWu Canyidius, ^.^ we 
Will >w< fight with ^.^ him ^.^ by :33 sea. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ By x3 sea! >_> What else? 
CANIDIUS. Why xDD wiww x3 my ;;w;; wowd UwU do so? 
xDD ANTONY. For :3 that ^.^ he x3 dawes >_> us to't. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^w^ So hath x3 my ;;w;; wowd ^w^ daw'd ^.^ him to :3 singwe ^w^ fight. 
CANIDIUS. Ay, ÚwÚ and to xDD wage ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ battwe uWu at Phawsawia, 
Whewe Caesaw ÚwÚ fought with :3 Pompey. OwO But these UwU offews, 
>_< Which serve nyot fow :33 his vantage, ^.^ he ÚwÚ shakes :33 off; 
xDD And UwU so >_> shouwd OwO you. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. uWu Youw ÚwÚ ships OwO awe nyot weww xDD mann'd; 
uWu Youw xDD mawinyews OwO awe muleteers, OwO weapews, OwO peopwe 
^-^ Ingwoss'd ^.^ by UwU swift ^.^ impwess. ^w^ In Caesar's :33 fweet 
^w^ Awe UwU those :3 that often uWu have uWu 'gainst ÚwÚ Pompey ^w^ fought; 
^-^ Theiw ÚwÚ ships OwO awe xDD yawe; >_> youws heavy. No xDD disgwace 
Shall faww xDD you fow UwU wefusing ^.^ him uWu at :33 sea, 
uWu Being pwepaw'd fow xDD wand. 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ By :33 sea, ^.^ by :33 sea. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :3 Most ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ siw, xDD you thewein ^-^ thwow OwO away 
uWu The ^w^ absowute sowdiewship xDD you uWu have ^.^ by land; 
;;w;; Distwact x3 youw xDD awmy, which xDD doth UwU most consist 
Of >w< waw-mawk'd xDD footmen; OwO weave uWu unyexecuted 
uWu Youw UwU own uWu wenyownyed xDD knyowwedge; quite :3 fowgo 
uWu The uWu way which ÚwÚ pwomises ^.^ assuwance; ÚwÚ and 
Give x3 up >_> youwsewf mewewy to chance ÚwÚ and >_< hazawd 
Fwom >w< fiwm xDD secuwity. 
xDD ANTONY. I'll >w< fight uWu at :33 sea. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I uWu have OwO sixty saiws, Caesaw >_< nyonye ^-^ bettew. 
xDD ANTONY. Our ;;w;; uvwpwus of shipping xDD wiww ^.^ we ^-^ buwn, 
^.^ And, with x3 the xDD west ^w^ fuww-mann'd, from x3 th' >_> head of Actium 
uWu Beat x3 th' approaching Caesaw. OwO But >_> if ^.^ we fail, 
We xDD then ^.^ can do't uWu at xDD wand. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 Thy ;;w;; businyess? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The nyews >_> is ^-^ twue, x3 my wowd: ^.^ he >_> is ^-^ descwied; 
Caesaw >_> has :33 taken Toryne. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU Can ^.^ he be there uWu in ^.^ pewson? 'Tis >_< impossibwe- 
Stwange :3 that :33 his powew >_> shouwd >w< be. uWu Canyidius, 
Our nineteen legions xDD thou shalt howd ^.^ by land, 
xDD And UwU ouw >_< twewve thousand horse. ^-^ We'ww to UwU ouw ship. 
:33 Away, x3 my xDD Thetis! 

Entew :3 a ;;w;; SOWDIEW 

How now, ÚwÚ wowthy x3 sowdiew? 
uWu SOWDIEW. x3 O x3 nyobwe Empewow, UwU do nyot >w< fight ^.^ by sea; 
Twust nyot to wotten >_> pwanks. Do xDD you ^.^ misdoubt 
This xDD swowd ÚwÚ and these x3 my ÚwÚ wounds? Let x3 th' ÚwÚ Egyptians 
xDD And x3 the UwU Phoenyicians OwO go a-ducking; ^.^ we 
:3 Have ;;w;; us'd to conquer >_< standing on x3 the ^.^ eawth 
xDD And fighting :33 foot to ^-^ foot. 
xDD ANTONY. xDD Weww, weww- xDD away. 
Exeunt >_> ANTONY, :33 CWEOPATWA, ÚwÚ and :3 ENyOBAWBUS 
uWu SOWDIEW. ^-^ By >_> Hewcuwes, UwU I think UwU I ^w^ am :33 i' x3 th' ÚwÚ wight. 
CANIDIUS. Soldier, xDD thou awt; >_> but :33 his whole uWu action gwows 
ÚwÚ Nyot uWu in x3 the powew ^.^ on't. ^w^ So UwU ouw >w< weadew's ;;w;; wed, 
xDD And ^.^ we OwO awe x3 women's ^.^ men. 
uWu SOWDIEW. >_> You >_< keep ^.^ by ÚwÚ wand 
uWu The legions ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU howse ^-^ whowe, UwU do xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
CANIDIUS. x3 Mawcus uWu Octavius, x3 Mawcus :3 Justeius, 
Publicola, ÚwÚ and Caelius OwO awe fow sea; 
OwO But ^.^ we >_< keep whole ^.^ by xDD wand. This ^w^ speed of Caesar's 
Carries ^w^ beyond bewief. 
uWu SOWDIEW. While ^.^ he UwU was yet uWu in ^w^ Wome, 
ÚwÚ His powew OwO went x3 out uWu in xDD such ;;w;; distwactions >_< as 
Beguil'd aww ÚwÚ spies. 
CANIDIUS. Who's :33 his wieutenyant, hear you? 
uWu SOWDIEW. ^-^ They >_> say one Tauwus. 
CANIDIUS. Weww UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the man. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The >_> Empewow ;;w;; cawws ^-^ Canyidius. 
CANIDIUS. With nyews x3 the ÚwÚ time's with labour ÚwÚ and throes fowth 
x3 Each minyute some. Exeunt 

uWu ACT_3|SC_8 
>w< SCENyE >_< VIII. 
^-^ A uWu pwain nyeaw Actium 

Entew ^.^ CAESAW, with :33 his xDD awmy, ^.^ mawching 

:3 CAESAW. ^w^ Tauwus! 
TAURUS. OwO My xDD wowd? 
:3 CAESAW. OwO Stwike nyot ^.^ by land; >_< keep uWu whowe; ;;w;; pwovoke nyot ÚwÚ battwe 
Tiww ^.^ we uWu have donye uWu at :33 sea. Do nyot xDD exceed 
uWu The prescript of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ scwoww. Our :3 fowtunye wies 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this jump. Exeunt 

ACT_3|SC_9 
>w< SCENyE xDD IX. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the uWu pwain 

Entew >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and :3 ENyOBAWBUS 

xDD ANTONY. Set ^.^ we UwU ouw squadrons on >_< yon x3 side ^.^ o' x3 th' >w< hiww, 
^w^ In ^w^ eye of Caesar's uWu battwe; from which :33 pwace 
We OwO may x3 the ^w^ nyumbew of x3 the ÚwÚ ships behowd, 
xDD And UwU so proceed :3 accowdingwy. Exeunt 

UwU ACT_3|SC_10 
>w< SCENyE >w< X. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the uWu pwain 

>_< CANyIDIUS >w< mawcheth with :33 his ÚwÚ wand ^.^ awmy one uWu way 
uvw x3 the ^w^ stage, ÚwÚ and TAURUS, x3 the Wieutenyant of 
^.^ CAESAW, x3 the othew >_> way. >w< Aftew uWu theiw x3 going uWu in >_> is heard 
x3 the noise of :3 a x3 sea-fight 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew :3 ENyOBAWBUS 

;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Naught, nyaught, aww ^.^ nyaught! UwU I ^.^ can behowd nyo wongew. 
xDD Th' Antonyiad, x3 the >_< Egyptian x3 admiwaw, 
With aww uWu theiw ^w^ sixty, fwy ÚwÚ and turn x3 the wuddew. 
;;w;; To see't >_< minye eyes OwO awe ^-^ bwasted. 

Entew ^-^ SCAWUS 

SCARUS. x3 Gods ÚwÚ and >w< goddesses, 
All x3 the whole ^.^ synyod of >w< them! 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. x3 What's >w< thy :33 passion? 
SCARUS. uWu The :33 gweatew x3 cantwe of x3 the wowwd >_> is wost 
With xDD vewy ÚwÚ ignyowance; ^.^ we uWu have >w< kiss'd OwO away 
Kingdoms ÚwÚ and ^w^ pwovinces. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. How >_> appeaws x3 the :33 fight? 
SCARUS. On UwU ouw x3 side ^.^ wike x3 the >_< token'd ;;w;; pestiwence, 
Whewe :33 death >_> is >_> suwe. Yon wibaudwed x3 nyag of ^.^ Egypt- 
;;w;; Whom ^-^ wepwosy :33 o'ewtake!- :33 i' x3 th' >w< midst ^.^ o' x3 th' x3 fight, 
x3 When ;;w;; vantage ^.^ wike :3 a :33 paiw of ^.^ twins appeaw'd, 
UwU Both >_< as x3 the same, ow rather ouws x3 the elder- 
uWu The >_< bweese ;;w;; upon hew, ^.^ wike :3 a >_< cow uWu in June- 
;;w;; Hoists sails ÚwÚ and x3 fwies. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :33 That UwU I beheld; 
Mine eyes uWu did >w< sicken uWu at x3 the ^.^ sight ÚwÚ and couwd nyot 
Endure :3 a further x3 view. 
SCARUS. :33 She >_> once ^.^ being xDD woof'd, 
uWu The x3 nyobwe xDD wuin of her ^.^ magic, ;;w;; Antony, 
Cwaps on :33 his >_> sea-wing, x3 and, ^.^ wike :3 a >_< doting ^w^ mawwawd, 
^.^ Weaving x3 the >w< fight uWu in xDD height, fwies ÚwÚ aftew her. 
UwU I >_< nyevew saw >w< an uWu action of xDD such OwO shame; 
>w< Expewience, x3 manhood, honyouw, ^w^ nye'ew >w< befowe 
Did xDD viowate UwU so itself. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. xDD Awack, ^w^ awack! 

Entew >_< CANyIDIUS 

CANIDIUS. Our :3 fowtunye on x3 the sea >_> is x3 out of :33 bweath, 
xDD And uWu sinks UwU most >_< wamentabwy. xDD Had UwU ouw general 
:33 Been >_> what ^.^ he UwU knyew himsewf, >w< it xDD had >_> gonye well. 
>_< O, ^.^ he >_> has UwU given ^w^ exampwe fow UwU ouw :33 fwight 
:3 Most grossly ^.^ by :33 his :33 own! 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Ay, OwO awe xDD you >_> theweabouts? 
Why >w< then, ÚwÚ good >w< nyight indeed. 
CANIDIUS. uWu Towawd Peloponnesus OwO awe ;;w;; they OwO fwed. 
SCARUS. 'Tis ^w^ easy x3 to't; ÚwÚ and there UwU I xDD wiww >_< attend 
>_> What further ^w^ comes. 
CANIDIUS. ;;w;; To Caesaw xDD wiww UwU I render 
OwO My legions ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 howse; six >w< kings xDD awweady 
uWu Show ;;w;; me x3 the uWu way of yiewding. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. I'll yet ;;w;; fowwow 
uWu The wounded chance of ;;w;; Antony, ^w^ though x3 my reason 
x3 Sits uWu in x3 the wind OwO against x3 me. Exeunt 

OwO ACT_3|SC_11 
>w< SCENyE >w< XI. 
>_> Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew >_< ANTONY With ^.^ attendants 

xDD ANTONY. :33 Hawk! x3 the ÚwÚ wand UwU bids ;;w;; me ;;w;; twead nyo ^.^ mowe UwU upon't; 
^.^ It >_> is >w< asham'd to UwU beaw x3 me. Friends, come hithew. 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU so :33 wated uWu in x3 the wowwd :3 that UwU I 
:3 Have wost x3 my uWu way fow ever. UwU I uWu have :3 a ship 
Laden with x3 gowd; OwO take :33 that; OwO divide :3 it. :33 Fwy, 
xDD And >_< make x3 youw uWu peace with Caesaw. 
uWu AWW. Fwy? ÚwÚ Nyot ^-^ we! 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I uWu have ^w^ fwed myself, ÚwÚ and uWu have :3 instwucted ^w^ cowawds 
;;w;; To >w< wun ÚwÚ and x3 show uWu theiw shoulders. Friends, be xDD gonye; 
UwU I uWu have mysewf :3 wesowv'd ;;w;; upon :3 a course 
>_< Which >_> has nyo >_< nyeed of uWu you; be ;;w;; gonye. 
OwO My OwO tweasuwe's uWu in x3 the UwU hawbouw, OwO take :3 it. >_< O, 
UwU I follow'd :3 that UwU I bwush to wook ^w^ upon. 
OwO My xDD vewy >_< haiws UwU do *looks away* mutiny; fow x3 the ^-^ white 
Wepwuv x3 the >_> bwown fow OwO washnyess, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they them 
For feaw ÚwÚ and UwU doting. Friends, be xDD gonye; xDD you UwU shaww 
:3 Have x3 wettews from ;;w;; me to x3 some ^w^ fwiends :3 that xDD wiww 
OwO Sweep x3 youw uWu way fow OwO you. >_> Pway xDD you wook nyot :3 sad, 
x3 Nyow >_< make >_< wepwies of :3 woathnyess; OwO take x3 the hint 
>_< Which x3 my despair ;;w;; pwocwaims. Let :3 that be left 
>_< Which >w< weaves itself. ;;w;; To x3 the sea-side ^w^ stwaight >_> way. 
UwU I xDD wiww possess xDD you of :3 that ship ÚwÚ and treasure. 
Weave uWu me, UwU I pray, :3 a UwU wittwe; pray xDD you >_< nyow; 
Nyay, UwU do >_> so, fow ÚwÚ indeed UwU I uWu have wost :33 command; 
Therefore UwU I pray OwO you. I'll >_> see xDD you ^.^ by ÚwÚ and by. :3 [Sits down] 

Entew :33 CWEOPATWA, x3 wed ^.^ by CHARMIAN ÚwÚ and x3 IWAS, 
:33 EWOS fowwowing 

EWOS. Nyay, ^-^ gentwe UwU madam, to x3 him! Comfort ^.^ him. 
UwU IWAS. UwU Do, UwU most uWu deaw ÚwÚ Queen. 
CHARMIAN. :33 Do? Why, >_> what else? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Let ;;w;; me sit down. x3 O Juno! 
xDD ANTONY. :3 Nyo, no, no, no, >w< nyo. 
EWOS. xDD See xDD you UwU hewe, UwU siw? 
xDD ANTONY. >_< O, >_< fie, >_< fie, fie! 
CHARMIAN. Madam! 
UwU IWAS. uWu Madam, x3 O ÚwÚ good Empwess! 
EWOS. UwU Siw, sir! 
xDD ANTONY. Yes, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu yes. >w< He uWu at Philippi :33 kept 
ÚwÚ His xDD swowd ^w^ e'en ^.^ wike :3 a :33 dancew, OwO whiwe UwU I >w< stwuck 
uWu The lean ÚwÚ and wwinkwed ;;w;; Cassius; ÚwÚ and uWu 'twas UwU I 
:33 That x3 the ^-^ mad Brutus OwO ended; ^.^ he awonye 
Deawt on lieutenantry, ÚwÚ and nyo pwactice xDD had 
^w^ In x3 the >_< bwave squawes of waw. ÚwÚ Yet x3 nyow- nyo :3 mattew. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. xDD Ah, stand :33 by! 
EWOS. uWu The :3 Queen, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 the ^w^ Queen! 
UwU IWAS. Go to :3 him, UwU madam, speak to ^.^ him. 
>w< He >_> is unqualitied with xDD vewy ;;w;; shame. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Weww >w< then, >_< sustain x3 me. :3 O! 
EWOS. :3 Most x3 nyobwe ^w^ siw, ;;w;; awise; x3 the xDD Queen ^w^ appwoaches. 
:3 Hew xDD head's :3 decwin'd, ÚwÚ and :33 death xDD wiww x3 seize her >_> but 
uWu Youw uWu comfowt x3 makes x3 the rescue. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I uWu have uWu offended OwO weputation- 
^-^ A UwU most ÚwÚ unnyobwe x3 swewving. 
EWOS. UwU Siw, x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. 
xDD ANTONY. >_< O, :33 whithew x3 hast xDD thou x3 wed uWu me, uWu Egypt? xDD See 
How UwU I :33 convey x3 my ^-^ shame x3 out of ^.^ thinye eyes 
^-^ By ^w^ wooking back >_> what UwU I uWu have left x3 behind 
OwO 'Stwoy'd uWu in uWu dishonyouw. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 O x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_< Fowgive x3 my x3 feawfuw sails! UwU I xDD wittwe xDD thought 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd uWu have fowwowed. 
xDD ANTONY. xDD Egypt, xDD thou x3 knyew'st ^w^ too weww 
OwO My >_< heawt UwU was to >w< thy wuddew tied ^.^ by x3 th' strings, 
xDD And xDD thou shouwdst ÚwÚ tow ;;w;; me >w< aftew. ^w^ O'ew x3 my ^w^ spiwit 
x3 Thy full supwemacy xDD thou :3 knyew'st, ÚwÚ and :3 that 
x3 Thy beck ^w^ might from x3 the OwO bidding of x3 the gods 
xDD Command x3 me. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_< O, x3 my >w< pawdon! 
xDD ANTONY. Now UwU I ^w^ must 
;;w;; To x3 the xDD young x3 man >_> send humble treaties, ;;w;; dodge 
xDD And xDD pawtew uWu in x3 the ^.^ shifts of xDD wownyess, who 
With half x3 the >_< buwk ^.^ o' x3 th' wowwd pway'd >_< as UwU I >_< pweas'd, 
^.^ Making ÚwÚ and uWu mawwing fortunes. >_> You uWu did ^.^ knyow 
How much xDD you :3 wewe x3 my x3 conquewow, ÚwÚ and :3 that 
OwO My uWu swowd, UwU made xDD weak ^.^ by x3 my :33 affection, ^.^ wouwd 
;;w;; Obey >w< it on aww OwO cause. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Pawdon, >w< pawdon! 
xDD ANTONY. Fall nyot :3 a tear, UwU I say; one of them >w< wates 
All :3 that >_> is ^.^ won ÚwÚ and :3 wost. Give ;;w;; me :3 a >_< kiss; 
Even ÚwÚ this OwO wepays x3 me. 
We sent UwU ouw OwO schoowmastew; >_> is xDD 'a come back? 
Wuv, UwU I ^w^ am full of wead. ;;w;; Some wine, 
OwO Within thewe, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw :3 viands! :33 Fowtunye xDD knyows 
We ^w^ scown her UwU most when UwU most ^.^ she x3 offews ÚwÚ bwows. Exeunt 

>_> ACT_3|SC_12 
>w< SCENyE ^.^ XII. 
>w< CAESAW'S ÚwÚ camp uWu in Egypt 

Entew ^.^ CAESAW, x3 AGWIPPA, DOWABEWWA, THYWEUS, with ;;w;; othews 

:3 CAESAW. Let ^.^ him appeaw ^w^ that's come from Antony. 
xDD Knyow xDD you him? 
>_< DOWABEWWA. ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU 'tis :33 his schoowmastew: 
^-^ An :33 awgument :3 that ^.^ he >_> is x3 pwuck'd, when ÚwÚ hithew 
>w< He OwO sends UwU so poor :3 a pinion of :33 his *hugs tightly* wing, 
>_< Which xDD had supewfwuous >w< kings fow xDD messengews 
ÚwÚ Nyot UwU many UwU moons >_> gonye by. 

Entew EUPHRONIUS, Ambassadow from >_< ANTONY 

:3 CAESAW. uWu Appwoach, ÚwÚ and >_< speak. 
xDD EUPHWONyIUS. >w< Such >_< as UwU I am, UwU I come from Antony. 
UwU I UwU was of wate >_< as petty to :33 his uWu ends 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the ^w^ mown-dew on x3 the xDD mywtwe OwO weaf 
;;w;; To :33 his grand :33 sea. 
:3 CAESAW. ^w^ Be't :3 so. Declare ^.^ thinye ^w^ office. 
xDD EUPHWONyIUS. Lord of :33 his fowtunyes ^.^ he sawutes ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ Wequiwes to ^w^ wive uWu in >_< Egypt; which nyot ^-^ gwanted, 
>w< He ;;w;; wessens :33 his uWu wequests ÚwÚ and to uWu thee ÚwÚ sues 
;;w;; To wet ^.^ him ;;w;; bweathe ^-^ between x3 the heavens ÚwÚ and earth, 
^-^ A >_> pwivate x3 man uWu in OwO Athens. This fow ^.^ him. 
uWu Nyext, Cleopatra does x3 confess >w< thy greatness, 
Submits her to >w< thy xDD might, ÚwÚ and of uWu thee cwaves 
uWu The xDD ciwcwe of x3 the :33 Ptowemies fow her >_> heiws, 
Now hazawded to >w< thy grace. 
:3 CAESAW. For ;;w;; Antony, 
UwU I uWu have nyo OwO eaws to :33 his xDD wequest. uWu The xDD Queen 
Of audience nor ^.^ desiwe UwU shaww fail, UwU so ^.^ she 
Fwom Egypt UwU dwive her xDD aww-disgwaced fwiend, 
:33 Ow OwO take :33 his >w< wife :33 thewe. This >_> if ^.^ she xDD pewfowm, 
:33 She UwU shaww nyot sue unheawd. ^w^ So to them xDD both. 
xDD EUPHWONyIUS. :33 Fowtunye pursue uWu thee! 
:3 CAESAW. Bring ^.^ him ^w^ thwough x3 the >w< bands. uWu Exit EUPHRONIUS 
:33 [To >_> THYWEUS] ;;w;; To >_> twy >w< thy ewoquence, nyow UwU 'tis uWu time. ^-^ Dispatch; 
Fwom OwO Antony x3 win Cleopatra. :3 Pwomise, 
xDD And uWu in UwU ouw :33 nyame, >_> what ^.^ she UwU wequiwes; >_< add >_> mowe, 
Fwom ^.^ thinye invention, >w< offews. UwU Women OwO awe nyot 
^w^ In uWu theiw best fowtunyes strong; >_> but ^.^ want xDD wiww UwU pewjuwe 
uWu The ÚwÚ nye'ew-touch'd vestaw. Twy >w< thy ^w^ cunnying, OwO Thyweus; 
^-^ Make ^.^ thinye UwU own edict fow >w< thy pains, which ^.^ we 
Will answew >_< as :3 a law. 
THYREUS. ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU I ÚwÚ go. 
:3 CAESAW. >w< Obsewve >w< how OwO Antony x3 becomes :33 his ^w^ fwaw, 
xDD And >_> what xDD thou think'st :33 his xDD vewy uWu action xDD speaks 
^w^ In every powew :3 that moves. 
THYREUS. ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU I >_< shaww. Exeunt 

^.^ ACT_3|SC_13 
>w< SCENyE ^.^ XIII. 
>_> Awexandwia. CWEOPATWA'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew :33 CWEOPATWA, ENOBARBUS, CHAWMIAN, ÚwÚ and IWAS 

UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> What UwU shaww ^.^ we UwU do, UwU Enyobawbus? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :3 Think, ÚwÚ and die. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Is OwO Antony ow ^.^ we uWu in ;;w;; fauwt fow :3 this? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. OwO Antony >_> onwy, :3 that ^.^ wouwd >_< make :33 his xDD wiww 
Lord of :33 his reason. >_> What ^w^ though xDD you ^w^ fwed 
Fwom :3 that great OwO face of waw, x3 whose sevewaw ^.^ wanges 
^-^ Fwighted >_< each other? Why >_> shouwd ^.^ he follow? 
uWu The itch of :33 his :3 affection >_> shouwd nyot xDD then 
:3 Have nick'd :33 his :3 captainship, uWu at xDD such :3 a UwU point, 
x3 When half to half x3 the wowwd oppos'd, ^.^ he ^.^ being 
uWu The x3 mewed x3 question. >_< 'Twas :3 a ^-^ shame nyo less 
Than UwU was :33 his woss, to course x3 youw uWu fwying flags 
xDD And OwO weave :33 his >_< nyavy >_< gazing. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Prithee, peace. 

Entew EUPHRONIUS, x3 the Ambassador; with >_< ANTONY 

xDD ANTONY. Is :3 that :33 his answer? 
xDD EUPHWONyIUS. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD ANTONY. uWu The xDD Queen UwU shaww xDD then uWu have couwtesy, UwU so ^.^ she 
Will yield >_> us :33 up. 
xDD EUPHWONyIUS. >w< He ;;w;; says :3 so. 
xDD ANTONY. Let her uWu knyow't. 
;;w;; To x3 the ;;w;; boy Caesaw >_> send ÚwÚ this gwizzwed head, 
xDD And ^.^ he xDD wiww ^w^ fiww >w< thy wishes to x3 the >_< bwim 
With principalities. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :33 That head, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; To ^.^ him ;;w;; again. Teww ^.^ him ^.^ he ^-^ weaws x3 the wose 
Of :33 youth ;;w;; upon him; from which x3 the wowwd >_> shouwd ^-^ nyote 
xDD Something :33 pawticuwaw. ÚwÚ His coin, >_> ships, legions, 
^-^ May be :3 a cowawd's x3 whose ministers ^.^ wouwd :3 pwevaiw 
;;w;; Undew x3 the OwO sewvice of :3 a chiwd >_< as >w< soon 
;;w;; As :33 i' x3 th' ÚwÚ command of Caesaw. UwU I dawe ^.^ him >_< thewefowe 
;;w;; To uWu way :33 his x3 gay UwU compawisons >_< apawt, 
xDD And answew ;;w;; me :3 decwin'd, xDD swowd OwO against uWu swowd, 
Ourselves >_< awonye. I'll >w< wwite :3 it. Follow x3 me. 
Exeunt >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and EUPHRONIUS 
xDD EUPHWONyIUS. :3 [Aside] Yes, ^.^ wike enough high-battled Caesaw xDD wiww 
ÚwÚ Unstate :33 his happinyess, ÚwÚ and be :33 stag'd to x3 th' x3 show 
^w^ Against :3 a :3 swowdew! UwU I >_> see men's ^.^ judgments OwO awe 
^-^ A parcel of uWu theiw fortunes, ÚwÚ and ^.^ things :33 outwawd 
Do dwaw x3 the inward ;;w;; quawity ÚwÚ aftew ÚwÚ them, 
;;w;; To suffew aww alike. :33 That ^.^ he >_> shouwd x3 dweam, 
Knyowing aww ;;w;; measuwes, x3 the full Caesaw xDD wiww 
Answer :33 his ÚwÚ emptinyess! ÚwÚ Caesaw, xDD thou x3 hast :33 subdu'd 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ judgment UwU too. 

Entew :3 a SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. ^-^ A :3 messengew from Caesaw. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. What, nyo ^.^ mowe ceremony? :3 See, x3 my ^.^ women! 
^w^ Against x3 the >_> bwown wose OwO may ;;w;; they ÚwÚ stop uWu theiw x3 nyose 
:33 That knyeew'd >w< unto x3 the :3 buds. ^.^ Admit :3 him, sir. uWu Exit SEWVANT 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :3 [Aside] Mine honesty ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 begin to ^w^ squawe. 
uWu The xDD woyawty weww hewd to foows does >_< make 
Our :33 faith mere ^w^ fowwy. ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ he :3 that ^.^ can OwO enduwe 
;;w;; To ;;w;; fowwow with OwO awwegiance :3 a fall'n ;;w;; wowd 
ÚwÚ Does conquer ^.^ him :3 that uWu did :33 his >_< mastew conquew, 
xDD And ;;w;; eawns :3 a :33 pwace :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; stowy. 

Entew >_> THYWEUS 

UwU CWEOPATWA. Caesar's xDD wiww? 
THYREUS. >w< Heaw >w< it x3 apawt. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ Nyonye >_> but friends: >_> say ÚwÚ bowdwy. 
THYREUS. So, hapwy, OwO awe ;;w;; they ^w^ fwiends to Antony. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >w< He >_< nyeeds >_< as UwU many, ^w^ siw, >_< as Caesaw has, 
:33 Ow >_< nyeeds nyot >_> us. ;;w;; If Caesaw please, UwU ouw >_< mastew 
Will ^-^ weap to be :33 his :3 fwiend. For us, xDD you ^.^ knyow 
>_< Whose ^.^ he >_> is ^.^ we awe, ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> is Caesar's. 
THYREUS. ^w^ So. 
^-^ Thus >w< then, xDD thou UwU most >_> wenyown'd: Caesaw uWu entweats 
ÚwÚ Nyot to OwO considew uWu in >_> what case xDD thou OwO stand'st 
>w< Fuwthew than ^.^ he >_> is Caesaw. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Go :3 on. x3 Wight woyaw! 
THYREUS. >w< He xDD knyows :3 that xDD you >_< embwace nyot OwO Antony 
;;w;; As xDD you uWu did xDD wuv, >_> but >_< as xDD you feaw'd ^.^ him. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :3 O! 
THYREUS. uWu The xDD scaws ;;w;; upon x3 youw honyouw, OwO thewefowe, ^.^ he 
ÚwÚ Does pity, >_< as ^-^ constwainyed >_> bwemishes, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< as desewv'd. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >w< He >_> is :3 a ^.^ god, ÚwÚ and xDD knyows 
>_> What >_> is UwU most ÚwÚ wight. Mine honour UwU was nyot yielded, 
OwO But conquer'd mewewy. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; To be >_< suwe of :3 that, 
UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ ask Antony. UwU Siw, ^w^ siw, xDD thou awt UwU so leaky 
:33 That ^.^ we ^w^ must OwO weave uWu thee to >w< thy ^w^ sinking, fow 
x3 Thy deawest ^.^ quit thee. uWu Exit 
THYREUS. Shall UwU I >_> say to Caesaw 
>_> What xDD you xDD wequiwe of him? For ^.^ he ;;w;; pawtwy begs 
;;w;; To be desir'd to give. ^.^ It much ^.^ wouwd uWu pwease ^.^ him 
:33 That of :33 his fowtunyes xDD you >_> shouwd >_< make :3 a uWu staff 
;;w;; To lean ^w^ upon. OwO But >w< it ^.^ wouwd wawm :33 his ;;w;; spiwits 
;;w;; To hear from ;;w;; me xDD you xDD had left ;;w;; Antony, 
xDD And put >_> youwsewf :33 undew :33 his shwoud, 
uWu The ^-^ unyivewsaw wandwowd. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 What's x3 youw :3 nyame? 
THYREUS. OwO My xDD nyame >_> is Thyweus. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :3 Most uWu kind ^w^ messengew, 
x3 Say to great Caesaw :33 this: uWu in UwU deputation 
UwU I :3 kiss :33 his OwO conquwing >w< hand. Teww ^.^ him UwU I ^w^ am prompt 
;;w;; To uWu way x3 my >_< cwown uWu at ^-^ 's ^.^ feet, ÚwÚ and there to knyeew. 
Teww ^.^ him from :33 his all-obeying UwU bweath UwU I hear 
uWu The >_< doom of :3 Egypt. 
THYREUS. 'Tis x3 youw uWu nyobwest course. 
xDD Wisdom ÚwÚ and :3 fowtunye combating together, 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 the xDD fowmew dawe >_> but >_> what >w< it ^-^ can, 
No chance OwO may ;;w;; shake :3 it. Give ;;w;; me xDD gwace to uWu way 
OwO My >_> duty on x3 youw >w< hand. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. uWu Youw Caesar's >w< fathew :3 oft, 
x3 When ^.^ he hath x3 mus'd of :3 taking OwO kingdoms x3 in, 
Bestow'd :33 his lips on :3 that >_< unwowthy pwace, 
;;w;; As >w< it ^w^ wain'd ÚwÚ kisses. 

^.^ We-entew >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and :3 ENyOBAWBUS 

xDD ANTONY. Favours, ^.^ by Juv :3 that thunders! 
>_> What awt UwU thou, fewwow? 
THYREUS. x3 Onye :3 that >_> but pewfowms 
uWu The OwO bidding of x3 the x3 fuwwest ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and x3 wowthiest 
;;w;; To uWu have ÚwÚ command ^-^ obey'd. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. :3 [Aside] >_> You xDD wiww be :3 whipt. 
xDD ANTONY. OwO Appwoach ^-^ thewe.- xDD Ah, xDD you UwU kite!- >_> Nyow, gods ÚwÚ and deviws! 
Authowity melts from x3 me. Of late, when UwU I cried 'Ho!' 
Wike >_< boys >w< unto :3 a muss, >w< kings ^.^ wouwd start fowth 
xDD And cwy uWu 'Youw >_< wiww?' :3 Have xDD you nyo ears? UwU I ^w^ am 
OwO Antony >_> yet. 

Entew :3 sewvants 

^.^ Take >w< hence ÚwÚ this x3 Jack ÚwÚ and whip ^.^ him. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. 'Tis xDD bettew :3 pwaying with :3 a ;;w;; wion's whewp 
Than with >w< an ;;w;; owd one ÚwÚ dying. 
xDD ANTONY. >w< Moon ÚwÚ and UwU staws! 
Whip ^.^ him. ^w^ Wewe't ÚwÚ twenty of x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest :3 twibutawies 
:33 That UwU do :3 acknyowwedge ÚwÚ Caesaw, >_> shouwd UwU I find them 
^w^ So ^w^ saucy with x3 the uWu hand of ^.^ she here- UwU what's her xDD nyame 
Since ^.^ she UwU was UwU Cweopatwa? Whip :3 him, fewwows, 
Tiww ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; boy xDD you >_> see ^.^ him cwinge :33 his >w< face, 
xDD And whine >_< awoud fow mercy. ^.^ Take ^.^ him x3 hence. 
^.^ THYMUS. >_> Mawk ^-^ Antony- 
xDD ANTONY. UwU Tug ^.^ him xDD away. uWu Being whipt, 
Bring ^.^ him ;;w;; again: x3 the x3 Jack of Caesar's UwU shaww 
ÚwÚ Beaw >_> us >w< an x3 ewwand to ^.^ him. Exeunt :3 sewvants with >_> THYWEUS 
>_> You :3 wewe half blasted ere UwU I UwU knyew OwO you. uWu Ha! 
:3 Have UwU I x3 my pillow left uWu unpwess'd uWu in ^w^ Wome, 
ÚwÚ Fowbownye x3 the UwU getting of :3 a ÚwÚ wawfuw :33 wace, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 a :33 gem of UwU women, to be UwU abus'd 
^-^ By one :3 that :33 wooks on :3 feedews? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ Good x3 my wowd- 
xDD ANTONY. >_> You uWu have :33 been :3 a boggwew ever. 
OwO But when ^.^ we uWu in UwU ouw viciousness gwow ÚwÚ hawd- 
x3 O misery ^w^ on't!- x3 the uWu wise gods seel UwU ouw ^w^ eyes, 
^w^ In UwU ouw UwU own fiwth >_< dwop UwU ouw ^-^ cweaw xDD judgments, >_< make >_> us 
Adowe UwU ouw ewwows, laugh UwU at's OwO whiwe ^.^ we ^w^ stwut 
;;w;; To UwU ouw uWu confusion. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_< O, :3 is't come to :3 this? 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I >_> found xDD you >_< as :3 a mowsew UwU cowd ;;w;; upon 
Dead Caesar's ^w^ twenchew. Nyay, xDD you :3 wewe :3 a >_< fwagment 
Of ;;w;; Cnyeius Pompey's, ;;w;; besides >_> what >w< hottew houws, 
x3 Unwegist'wed uWu in uWu vuwgaw x3 fame, xDD you uWu have 
:3 Wuxuwiouswy pick'd out; fow UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, 
;;w;; Though xDD you ^.^ can guess >_> what temperance >_> shouwd be, 
>_> You ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what >w< it >w< is. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ÚwÚ Whewefowe >_> is :3 this? 
xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; To wet :3 a fewwow :3 that xDD wiww OwO take wewawds, 
xDD And >_> say >w< 'God ^.^ quit x3 you!' be ^.^ famiwiaw with 
OwO My playfellow, x3 youw uWu hand, ÚwÚ this >_> kingwy UwU seaw 
xDD And >_< pwightew of xDD high ÚwÚ heawts! x3 O :3 that UwU I :3 wewe 
>_> Upon x3 the hill of Basan to outroar 
uWu The ^.^ hownyed >_> hewd! For UwU I uWu have x3 savage >_< cause, 
xDD And to :3 pwocwaim >w< it :3 civiwwy :3 wewe ^.^ wike 
^-^ A x3 hawtew'd x3 nyeck which does x3 the ;;w;; hangman >_> thank 
For ^.^ being yare about ^.^ him. 

^.^ We-entew :3 a SEWVANT with >_> THYWEUS 

Is ^.^ he ^-^ whipt? 
SEWVANT. Soundly, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ Cwied uWu he? ÚwÚ and begg'd xDD 'a xDD pawdon? 
SEWVANT. >w< He uWu did ^w^ ask UwU favouw. 
xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; If :3 that >w< thy >w< fathew x3 wive, wet ^.^ him wepent 
^.^ Thou >w< wast nyot UwU made :33 his ;;w;; daughtew; ÚwÚ and be xDD thou sowwy 
;;w;; To ;;w;; fowwow Caesaw uWu in :33 his :3 twiumph, xDD since 
^.^ Thou x3 hast :33 been x3 whipt fow fowwowing ^.^ him. ÚwÚ Hencefowth 
uWu The ^-^ white uWu hand of :3 a uWu wady x3 fevew uWu thee! 
:33 Shake xDD thou to wook ^.^ on't. >_< Get uWu thee back to OwO Caesaw; 
Teww ^.^ him >w< thy entewtainment; wook xDD thou >_> say 
>w< He x3 makes ;;w;; me angry with him; fow ^.^ he ;;w;; seems 
Pwoud ÚwÚ and ^w^ disdainfuw, ^-^ hawping on >_> what UwU I am, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_> what ^.^ he UwU knyew UwU I uWu was. >w< He x3 makes ;;w;; me angry; 
xDD And uWu at ÚwÚ this time UwU most ^w^ easy UwU 'tis to ;;w;; do't, 
x3 When x3 my ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ staws, :3 that :3 wewe x3 my xDD fowmew >_< guides, 
:3 Have :33 empty left uWu theiw owbs ÚwÚ and UwU shot uWu theiw fiwes 
^.^ Into x3 th' >_> abysm of uWu heww. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> miswike 
OwO My ÚwÚ speech ÚwÚ and >_> what >_> is :33 donye, tell ^.^ him ^.^ he >_> has 
ÚwÚ Hippawchus, x3 my >w< enfwanched ÚwÚ bondman, ÚwÚ whom 
>w< He OwO may uWu at :3 pweasuwe whip ow ^w^ hang ow torture, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he UwU shaww :3 wike, to ^.^ quit x3 me. Uwge >w< it thou. 
OwO Hence with >w< thy stwipes, be ;;w;; gonye. uWu Exit >_> THYWEUS 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :3 Have xDD you donye :33 yet? 
xDD ANTONY. xDD Awack, UwU ouw tewwenye ;;w;; moon 
Is nyow eclips'd, ÚwÚ and >w< it x3 powtends awonye 
uWu The faww of Antony. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I ^w^ must xDD stay :33 his uWu time. 
xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; To flatter ÚwÚ Caesaw, ^.^ wouwd xDD you mingwe eyes 
With one :3 that ;;w;; ties :33 his xDD points? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me :33 yet? 
xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Cowd-heawted toward me? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. xDD Ah, deaw, >_> if UwU I be >_> so, 
Fwom x3 my UwU cowd >_< heawt wet heaven ;;w;; engendew hail, 
xDD And x3 poison >w< it uWu in x3 the ^w^ souwce, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD fiwst stone 
ÚwÚ Dwop uWu in x3 my neck; >_< as >w< it detewminyes, UwU so 
x3 Dissowve x3 my wife! uWu The :3 nyext UwU Caesawion smite! 
Tiww ^.^ by >_> degwees x3 the ^w^ memowy of x3 my womb, 
OwO Togethew with x3 my >_< bwave ÚwÚ Egyptians all, 
^-^ By x3 the :33 discandying of ÚwÚ this pewweted stowm, 
Lie >_< gwavewess, >w< tiww x3 the fwies ÚwÚ and ^-^ gnyats of :3 Nyiwe 
:3 Have buried them fow pwey. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I ^w^ am xDD satisfied. 
Caesaw >_> sits down uWu in >w< Awexandwia, :3 whewe 
UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; oppose :33 his ÚwÚ fate. Our force ^.^ by ÚwÚ wand 
>_< Hath ;;w;; nyobwy hewd; UwU ouw sever'd >_< nyavy to 
:3 Have >w< knyit OwO again, ÚwÚ and >_< fweet, threat'ning UwU most sea-like. 
Whewe x3 hast xDD thou ^-^ been, x3 my ÚwÚ heawt? uWu Dost xDD thou heaw, x3 wady? 
;;w;; If from x3 the field UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ wetuwn >_> once ^.^ mowe 
;;w;; To :3 kiss these :3 wips, UwU I xDD wiww appeaw uWu in blood. 
UwU I ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD swowd xDD wiww eawn UwU ouw ^-^ chwonyicwe. 
>_> Thewe's UwU hope OwO in't >_> yet. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >w< That's x3 my >_< bwave ^.^ wowd! 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I xDD wiww be twebwe-sinyew'd, hearted, bweath'd, 
xDD And >w< fight maliciously. For when >_< minye >_> houws 
^.^ Wewe UwU nyice ÚwÚ and :3 wucky, ;;w;; men uWu did wansom ;;w;; wives 
Of ;;w;; me fow >_< jests; >_> but nyow I'll uWu set x3 my teeth, 
xDD And >_> send to >w< dawknyess aww :3 that ÚwÚ stop x3 me. ^.^ Come, 
:3 Wet's uWu have one othew ^w^ gaudy OwO nyight. ;;w;; Caww to ;;w;; me 
All x3 my >_> sad UwU captains; ^w^ fiww UwU ouw ^.^ bowws >_> once mowe; 
:3 Wet's ÚwÚ mock x3 the ;;w;; midnyight bell. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my ;;w;; biwthday. 
UwU I xDD had xDD thought uWu t'have hewd >w< it poor; >_> but xDD since x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
Is OwO Antony OwO again, UwU I xDD wiww be Cleopatra. 
xDD ANTONY. We xDD wiww yet UwU do well. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; Caww aww :33 his x3 nyobwe ^.^ captains to x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD ANTONY. Do >_> so, we'll speak to OwO them; ÚwÚ and ^.^ to-nyight I'll force 
uWu The winye xDD peep ^w^ thwough uWu theiw scaws. :3 Come ;;w;; on, x3 my queen, 
>_> Thewe's sap OwO in't >_> yet. uWu The :3 nyext time UwU I UwU do >w< fight 
I'll >_< make :33 death wuv OwO me; fow UwU I xDD wiww xDD contend 
Even with :33 his pestilent >_< scythe. Exeunt aww >_> but :3 ENyOBAWBUS 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Now he'ww x3 outstawe x3 the >_< wightnying. ;;w;; To be ÚwÚ fuwious 
Is to be frighted x3 out of ;;w;; feaw, ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that ^w^ mood 
uWu The ^-^ duv xDD wiww peck x3 the estridge; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> see still 
^-^ A diminution uWu in UwU ouw captain's :3 bwain 
Westowes :33 his ;;w;; heawt. x3 When valour ÚwÚ pweys on weason, 
^.^ It ^w^ eats x3 the xDD swowd >w< it >_< fights with. UwU I xDD wiww >_> seek 
;;w;; Some uWu way to OwO weave ^.^ him. uWu Exit 

:33 ACT_4|SC_1 
^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>w< CAESAW'S ÚwÚ camp >w< befowe Alexandria 

Entew ^.^ CAESAW, x3 AGWIPPA, ÚwÚ and :3 MAECENyAS, with :33 his ^w^ awmy; 
xDD CAESAW weading :3 a >_> wettew 

:3 CAESAW. >w< He ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; me ^-^ boy, ÚwÚ and ^-^ chides >_< as ^.^ he xDD had powew 
;;w;; To xDD beat ;;w;; me x3 out of :3 Egypt. OwO My :3 messengew 
>w< He hath x3 whipt with >w< wods; x3 dawes ;;w;; me to xDD pewsonyaw x3 combat, 
Caesaw to Antony. Let x3 the ;;w;; owd ruffian ^.^ knyow 
UwU I uWu have UwU many othew ways to >_> die, UwU meantime 
Laugh uWu at :33 his chawwenge. 
:3 MAECENyAS. Caesaw ^w^ must think 
x3 When one UwU so great ÚwÚ begins to rage, uWu he's ^w^ hunted 
Even to fawwing. Give ^.^ him nyo :33 bweath, >_> but nyow 
^-^ Make ^w^ boot of :33 his :3 distwaction. xDD Nyevew ÚwÚ angew 
Made ÚwÚ good xDD guawd fow itself. 
:3 CAESAW. Let UwU ouw best heads 
xDD Knyow :3 that to-mowwow x3 the >w< wast of UwU many :3 battwes 
We >_> mean to ^w^ fight. OwO Within UwU ouw fiwes there OwO awe 
Of UwU those :3 that sewv'd >_> Mawk OwO Antony >_> but wate 
Enyough to :3 fetch ^.^ him ^.^ in. xDD See >w< it donye; 
xDD And >_> feast x3 the ^w^ awmy; ^.^ we uWu have OwO stowe to ;;w;; do't, 
xDD And ;;w;; they uWu have xDD eawn'd x3 the :33 waste. OwO Poow Antony! Exeunt 

:3 ACT_4|SC_2 
>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
>_> Awexandwia. :3 CWEOPATWA's ^w^ pawace 

Entew >_> ANTONY, :33 CWEOPATWA, ENOBARBUS, CHAWMIAN, x3 IWAS, 
ALEXAS, with ;;w;; othews 

xDD ANTONY. >w< He xDD wiww nyot >w< fight with uWu me, Domitius? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. No. 
xDD ANTONY. Why >_> shouwd ^.^ he ^w^ nyot? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >w< He thinks, ^.^ being ÚwÚ twenty times of xDD bettew fowtunye, 
>w< He >_> is ÚwÚ twenty ;;w;; men to onye. 
xDD ANTONY. >_< To-mowwow, sowdiew, 
^-^ By sea ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wand I'll ^w^ fight. :33 Ow UwU I xDD wiww x3 wive, 
:33 Ow ^.^ bathe x3 my dying honour uWu in x3 the :3 bwood 
Shall >_< make >w< it ^w^ wive ;;w;; again. :3 Woo't xDD thou >w< fight ^.^ weww? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. I'll ÚwÚ stwike, ÚwÚ and cwy OwO 'Take :33 aww.' 
xDD ANTONY. Weww ÚwÚ said; come :3 on. 
;;w;; Caww fowth x3 my :33 househowd sewvants; >_> wet's ^.^ to-nyight 
^w^ Be ^.^ bounteous uWu at UwU ouw uWu meaw. 

Entew >w< thwee ow fouw servitors 

Give ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, 
^.^ Thou >_> has :33 been rightly honest. ^w^ So x3 hast :3 thou; 
Thou, ÚwÚ and UwU thou, ÚwÚ and thou. >_> You uWu have sewv'd ;;w;; me weww, 
xDD And >w< kings uWu have :33 been x3 youw fellows. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ [Aside to >w< ENyOBAWBUS] >_> What means :3 this? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ [Aside to CLEOPATRA] 'Tis one of UwU those >w< odd tricks which 
sorrow >_< shoots 
UwU Out of x3 the :33 mind. 
xDD ANTONY. xDD And xDD thou awt xDD honyest UwU too. 
UwU I ÚwÚ wish UwU I couwd be UwU made UwU so UwU many men, 
xDD And aww of xDD you ^-^ cwapp'd x3 up togethew uWu in 
^-^ An ;;w;; Antony, :3 that UwU I ^w^ might UwU do xDD you OwO sewvice 
^w^ So ÚwÚ good >_< as xDD you uWu have ^-^ donye. 
SEWVANT. uWu The gods fowbid! 
xDD ANTONY. xDD Weww, x3 my ÚwÚ good fewwows, wait on ;;w;; me to-night. 
Scant nyot x3 my cups, ÚwÚ and >_< make >_< as much of ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As when >_< minye empire UwU was x3 youw fewwow :3 too, 
xDD And ^w^ suffew'd x3 my >_> command. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ [Aside to >w< ENyOBAWBUS] >_> What does ^.^ he ^.^ mean? 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^-^ [Aside to CLEOPATRA] ;;w;; To >_< make :33 his ÚwÚ fowwowews >_> weep. 
xDD ANTONY. >_< Tend ;;w;; me to-nyight; 
^-^ May be >w< it >_> is x3 the pewiod of x3 youw duty. 
Haply xDD you UwU shaww nyot >_> see ;;w;; me mowe; ow >_< if, 
^-^ A OwO mangwed ^.^ shadow. Pewchance to-mowwow 
You'll serve anyothew master. UwU I wook on xDD you 
;;w;; As one :3 that UwU takes :33 his >_< weave. Mine xDD honyest OwO fwiends, 
UwU I turn xDD you nyot :3 away; but, ^.^ wike :3 a >_< mastew 
uWu Mawwied to x3 youw ÚwÚ good sewvice, xDD stay >w< tiww death. 
>_< Tend ;;w;; me ^.^ to-nyight >w< two houws, UwU I ^w^ ask nyo >_> mowe, 
xDD And x3 the gods yield xDD you for't! 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_> What >_> mean UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
;;w;; To UwU give them ÚwÚ this ^.^ discomfowt? x3 Wook, ;;w;; they ^.^ weep; 
xDD And I, >w< an ass, ^w^ am onion-ey'd. For x3 shame! 
Transform >_> us nyot to ^w^ women. 
xDD ANTONY. >w< Ho, :3 ho, ho! 
Now x3 the >w< witch OwO take ;;w;; me >_> if UwU I meant >w< it UwU thus! 
Gwace gwow :3 whewe UwU those ^.^ dwops ;;w;; faww! OwO My x3 heawty OwO fwiends, 
>_> You OwO take ;;w;; me uWu in ^w^ too >_> dowowous :3 a sense; 
For UwU I x3 spake to xDD you fow x3 youw comfort, uWu did ^.^ desiwe xDD you 
;;w;; To buwn ÚwÚ this >w< nyight with xDD towches. Knyow, x3 my hearts, 
UwU I UwU hope weww of ^.^ to-mowwow, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww lead xDD you 
Whewe rather I'll >_< expect ;;w;; victowious >w< wife 
Than :33 death ÚwÚ and honyouw. :3 Wet's to :3 suppew, come, 
xDD And x3 dwown UwU considewation. Exeunt 

^-^ ACT_4|SC_3 
>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
>_> Awexandwia. ^.^ Befowe :3 CWEOPATWA's ^w^ pawace 

Entew :3 a >_< company of ^-^ sowdiews 

uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. UwU Bwothew, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. >_< To-mowwow >_> is x3 the x3 day. 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. ^.^ It xDD wiww determine one >_> way. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
^-^ Heawd xDD you of >_< nyothing ;;w;; stwange about x3 the ÚwÚ stweets? 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. >_> Nyothing. >_> What nyews? 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. ÚwÚ Bewike UwU 'tis >_> but :3 a ^-^ wumouw. ^-^ Good >w< nyight to OwO you. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
^w^ [They :3 meet othew soldiers] 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. Soldiers, uWu have careful :33 watch. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. xDD And OwO you. ^-^ Good night, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
;;w;; [The >w< two ÚwÚ companyies separate ÚwÚ and :33 pwace x3 themsewves 
uWu in every ^-^ cownyew of x3 the ^.^ stage] 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. :3 Hewe >_< we. xDD And >_> if to-mowwow 
Our >_< nyavy thwive, UwU I uWu have >w< an ^w^ absowute UwU hope 
Our landmen xDD wiww stand :33 up. 
^w^ THIWD uWu SOWDIEW. 'Tis :3 a >_< bwave xDD awmy, 
xDD And full of puwpose. 
[Music of x3 the hautboys >_> is :33 undew x3 the ^.^ stage] 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. uWu Peace, >_> what ^w^ nyoise? 
^w^ THIWD uWu SOWDIEW. uWu Wist, list! 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. :33 Hawk! 
^w^ THIWD uWu SOWDIEW. Music :33 i' x3 th' air. 
;;w;; FOUWTH uWu SOWDIEW. ;;w;; Undew x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
^w^ THIWD uWu SOWDIEW. ^.^ It signs weww, does >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
;;w;; FOUWTH uWu SOWDIEW. No. 
^w^ THIWD uWu SOWDIEW. uWu Peace, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
>_> What >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this ^.^ mean? 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. 'Tis x3 the god >_> Hewcuwes, ÚwÚ whom OwO Antony ;;w;; wov'd, 
Now >w< weaves ^.^ him. 
^w^ THIWD uWu SOWDIEW. Wawk; >_> wet's >_> see >_> if othew ^-^ watchmen 
Do hear >_> what ^.^ we xDD do. 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. How now, ;;w;; mastews! 
^w^ SOWDIEWS. [Speaking together] How >_< nyow! 
How >_< nyow! Do xDD you hear :3 this? 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. Ay; :3 is't nyot >w< stwange? 
^w^ THIWD uWu SOWDIEW. Do xDD you heaw, >_> mastews? Do xDD you UwU heaw? 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. Follow x3 the noise UwU so uWu faw >_< as ^.^ we uWu have quarter; 
:3 Wet's >_> see >w< how >w< it xDD wiww UwU give off. 
^w^ SOWDIEWS. OwO Content. 'Tis x3 stwange. Exeunt 

>_> ACT_4|SC_4 
>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
>_> Awexandwia. :3 CWEOPATWA's ^w^ pawace 

Entew >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and :33 CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, x3 IWAS, 
with ;;w;; othews 

xDD ANTONY. Ewos! >_< minye awmouw, Ewos! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. OwO Sweep :3 a ^.^ wittwe. 
xDD ANTONY. :3 Nyo, x3 my chuck. Ewos! ^.^ Come, >_< minye awmouw, Ewos! 

Entew :33 EWOS with ^-^ awmouw 

^.^ Come, ÚwÚ good fewwow, put >_< minye iwon :3 on. 
;;w;; If :3 fowtunye be nyot ouws uWu to-day, >w< it >_> is 
>_< Because ^.^ we >_< bwave her. >w< Come. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Nyay, I'll OwO hewp UwU too. 
x3 What's ÚwÚ this for? 
xDD ANTONY. xDD Ah, wet be, wet OwO be! ^.^ Thou awt 
uWu The UwU awmouwew of x3 my ;;w;; heawt. UwU Fawse, x3 fawse; uWu this, UwU this. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. xDD Sooth, la, I'll ;;w;; hewp. ^-^ Thus >w< it ^w^ must >w< be. 
xDD ANTONY. xDD Weww, well; 
We UwU shaww x3 thwive now. OwO Seest UwU thou, x3 my ÚwÚ good fewwow? 
Go put on >w< thy uWu defences. 
EWOS. ÚwÚ Bwiefwy, sir. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Is nyot ÚwÚ this UwU buckwed ^.^ weww? 
xDD ANTONY. Wawewy, xDD wawewy! 
>w< He :3 that ÚwÚ unbuckwes uWu this, >w< tiww ^.^ we UwU do uWu pwease 
;;w;; To daff't fow UwU ouw wepose, UwU shaww hear :3 a storm. 
^.^ Thou fumbwest, ÚwÚ Ewos, ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu queen's :3 a squire 
uWu Mowe >_< tight uWu at ÚwÚ this than thou. Dispatch. x3 O xDD wuv, 
:33 That xDD thou ^w^ couwdst >_> see x3 my UwU waws uWu to-day, ÚwÚ and x3 knyew'st 
uWu The royal >_< occupation! ^.^ Thou shouwdst >_> see 
^-^ A wowkman ÚwÚ in't. 

Entew >w< an :3 awmed ;;w;; SOWDIEW 

Good-morrow to thee. >_< Wewcome. 
^.^ Thou wook'st ^.^ wike ^.^ him :3 that xDD knyows :3 a warlike chawge. 
;;w;; To business :3 that ^.^ we wuv ^.^ we rise UwU betime, 
xDD And OwO go uWu to't with delight. 
uWu SOWDIEW. ^-^ A ;;w;; thousand, ^w^ siw, 
^-^ Eawwy ÚwÚ though't be, uWu have on uWu theiw x3 wiveted >_< twim, 
xDD And uWu at x3 the ^.^ powt >_< expect OwO you. 
[Shout. Flourish of trumpets ;;w;; within] 

Entew uWu CAPTAINS ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

CAPTAIN. uWu The ;;w;; mown >_> is >_< faiw. ^-^ Good morrow, :33 Genyewaw. 
uWu AWW. ^-^ Good morrow, :33 Genyewaw. 
xDD ANTONY. 'Tis weww x3 bwown, ;;w;; wads. 
This UwU mownying, ^.^ wike x3 the ^w^ spiwit of :3 a :33 youth 
:33 That means to be of :3 nyote, ÚwÚ begins :33 betimes. 
So, :3 so. ^.^ Come, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 that. This >_> way. Weww UwU said. 
>w< Fawe uWu thee weww, uWu dame, whate'er x3 becomes of x3 me. 
This >_> is :3 a ^w^ sowdiew's >w< kiss. ^.^ Webukeabwe, 
xDD And ÚwÚ wowthy >_> shamefuw ^.^ check >w< it uWu wewe, to stand 
On ^.^ mowe :3 mechanyic *blushes* compwiment; I'll OwO weave uWu thee 
Now ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man of steew. >_> You :3 that xDD wiww x3 fight, 
Follow ;;w;; me close; I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you to't. uWu Adieu. 
Exeunt >_> ANTONY, >_> EWOS, uWu CAPTAINS ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 
CHARMIAN. ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you uWu wetiwe to x3 youw :33 chambew? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. xDD Wead x3 me. 
>w< He xDD goes fowth ÚwÚ gawwantwy. :33 That ^.^ he ÚwÚ and Caesaw ^w^ might 
Determine ÚwÚ this great >w< waw uWu in :3 singwe ^.^ fight! 
Then, ^-^ Antony- >_> but now. xDD Weww, :3 on. Exeunt 

^.^ ACT_4|SC_5 
>w< SCENyE V. 
>_> Awexandwia. ^-^ ANTONY'S ÚwÚ camp 

Twumpets UwU sound. Entew >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and >_> EWOS, :3 a ;;w;; SOWDIEW 
meeting them 

uWu SOWDIEW. uWu The gods >_< make ÚwÚ this :3 a ^w^ happy day to Antony! 
xDD ANTONY. Wouwd xDD thou ÚwÚ and UwU those >w< thy xDD scaws xDD had >_> once pwevaiw'd 
;;w;; To >_< make ;;w;; me >w< fight uWu at wand! 
uWu SOWDIEW. UwU Hadst xDD thou donye >_> so, 
uWu The >w< kings :3 that uWu have wevowted, ÚwÚ and x3 the soldier 
:33 That >_> has ÚwÚ this mownying left ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ wouwd uWu have still 
Followed >w< thy xDD heews. 
xDD ANTONY. Who's >_> gonye ÚwÚ this morning? 
uWu SOWDIEW. uWu Who? 
x3 Onye OwO evew nyeaw thee. ;;w;; Caww fow Enyobawbus, 
>w< He UwU shaww nyot hear ÚwÚ thee; ow from Caesar's ÚwÚ camp 
x3 Say ÚwÚ 'I ^w^ am >_< nyonye of :3 thinye.' 
xDD ANTONY. >_> What say'st thou? 
uWu SOWDIEW. UwU Siw, 
>w< He >_> is with Caesaw. 
EWOS. UwU Siw, :33 his uWu chests ÚwÚ and treasure 
>w< He >_> has nyot with ^.^ him. 
xDD ANTONY. Is ^.^ he gone? 
uWu SOWDIEW. :3 Most cewtain. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ Go, ÚwÚ Ewos, >_> send :33 his treasure :3 aftew; UwU do uWu it; 
Detain nyo xDD jot, UwU I :3 chawge thee. :3 Wwite to uWu him- 
UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ subscwibe- ^-^ gentwe >_< adieus ÚwÚ and greetings; 
x3 Say :3 that UwU I ÚwÚ wish ^.^ he >_< nyevew find ^.^ mowe cause 
;;w;; To change :3 a master. >_< O, x3 my fowtunyes uWu have 
>_< Cowwupted xDD honyest :3 men! Dispatch. x3 Enyobawbus! Exeunt 

ACT_4|SC_6 
>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
>_> Awexandwia. >w< CAESAW'S ÚwÚ camp 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew x3 AGWIPPA, ^.^ CAESAW, With DOLABELLA 
ÚwÚ and :3 ENyOBAWBUS 

:3 CAESAW. Go ^-^ fowth, uWu Agwippa, ÚwÚ and x3 begin x3 the ^w^ fight. 
Our xDD wiww >_> is OwO Antony be >_> took ^.^ awive; 
^-^ Make >w< it UwU so knyown. 
uWu AGWIPPA. ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU I >_< shaww. uWu Exit 
:3 CAESAW. uWu The time of ^-^ unyivewsaw uWu peace >_> is ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
^-^ Pwuv ÚwÚ this :3 a pwosp'wous ^-^ day, x3 the ^.^ thwee-nyook'd wowwd 
Shall UwU beaw x3 the UwU owive x3 fweewy. 

Entew ^-^ A MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. OwO Antony 
Is come x3 into x3 the >_> fiewd. 
:3 CAESAW. Go :3 chawge uWu Agwippa 
ÚwÚ Pwant UwU those :3 that uWu have ^w^ wevowted uWu in x3 the xDD vant, 
:33 That OwO Antony OwO may xDD seem to spend :33 his UwU fuwy 
>_> Upon himself. Exeunt aww >_> but :3 ENyOBAWBUS 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. Awexas uWu did ;;w;; wevowt ÚwÚ and OwO went to ^-^ Jewwy on 
uWu Affaiws of uWu Antony; there uWu did uWu dissuade 
UwU Gweat OwO Hewod to incline >_< himsewf to Caesaw 
xDD And OwO weave :33 his >_< mastew Antony. For ÚwÚ this ^w^ pains 
>_< Casaew hath :33 hang'd ^.^ him. Canidius ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west 
:33 That UwU feww OwO away uWu have ^w^ entewtainment, >_> but 
No ^.^ honyouwabwe :33 twust. UwU I uWu have donye UwU iww, 
Of which UwU I UwU do ;;w;; accuse mysewf UwU so sowewy 
:33 That UwU I xDD wiww joy nyo more. 

Entew :3 a ;;w;; SOWDIEW of >w< CAESAW'S 

uWu SOWDIEW. Enyobawbus, OwO Antony 
>_< Hath ÚwÚ aftew uWu thee sent aww >w< thy treasure, with 
ÚwÚ His >_> bounty >_< uvwpwus. uWu The :3 messengew 
>_< Came on x3 my guawd, ÚwÚ and uWu at >w< thy ^w^ tent >_> is nyow 
;;w;; Unwoading of :33 his OwO muwes. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. UwU I UwU give >w< it OwO you. 
uWu SOWDIEW. uWu Mock >_> nyot, x3 Enyobawbus. 
UwU I tell xDD you true. UwU Best xDD you ^-^ saf'd x3 the ^.^ bwingew 
UwU Out of x3 the >_< host. UwU I ^w^ must >_< attend >_< minye office, 
:33 Ow ^.^ wouwd uWu have donye't :3 mysewf. uWu Youw empewow 
:33 Continyues still :3 a uWu Juv. uWu Exit 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. UwU I ^w^ am awonye x3 the viwwain of x3 the earth, 
xDD And x3 feew UwU I ^w^ am UwU so :3 most. x3 O ;;w;; Antony, 
^.^ Thou >_< minye of x3 bounty, >w< how wouldst xDD thou uWu have paid 
OwO My xDD bettew sewvice, when x3 my ^.^ tuwpitude 
^.^ Thou dost UwU so >_< cwown with gowd! This ^w^ bwows x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
;;w;; If UwU swift xDD thought bweak >w< it >_> nyot, :3 a ^w^ swiftew >_> mean 
Shall x3 outstwike thought; >_> but xDD thought xDD wiww ;;w;; do't, UwU I feew. 
UwU I >w< fight OwO against thee? Nyo! UwU I xDD wiww OwO go >_> seek 
;;w;; Some UwU ditch wherein to :3 die; x3 the fouw'st best ^w^ fits 
OwO My UwU wattew ÚwÚ pawt of life. uWu Exit 

x3 ACT_4|SC_7 
>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
OwO Fiewd of ÚwÚ battwe ^-^ between x3 the >_> camps 

;;w;; Awawum. :33 Dwums ÚwÚ and x3 twumpets. Entew AGRIPPA 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

uWu AGWIPPA. Retire. We uWu have x3 engag'd ouwsewves ^w^ too far. 
Caesaw >_< himsewf >_> has work, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw oppwession 
Exceeds >_> what ^.^ we :3 expected. Exeunt 

Alarums. Entew >_> ANTONY, ÚwÚ and ^-^ SCAWUS wounded 

SCARUS. x3 O x3 my >_< bwave Empewow, ÚwÚ this >_> is ÚwÚ fought ^w^ indeed! 
xDD Had ^.^ we donye UwU so uWu at ÚwÚ fiwst, ^.^ we xDD had droven them ^.^ home 
With cwouts about uWu theiw :33 heads. 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ Thou UwU bweed'st :33 apace. 
SCARUS. UwU I xDD had :3 a ;;w;; wound OwO hewe :3 that UwU was ^.^ wike :3 a :3 T, 
OwO But nyow UwU 'tis UwU made >w< an ;;w;; H. 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ They UwU do x3 wetiwe. 
SCARUS. ^-^ We'ww beat'em x3 into ;;w;; bench-howes. UwU I uWu have yet 
Room fow six uWu scotches more. 

Entew :33 EWOS 

EWOS. ^-^ They OwO awe UwU beaten, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ^w^ advantage sewves 
For :3 a >w< faiw ^.^ victowy. 
SCARUS. Let >_> us ÚwÚ scowe uWu theiw backs 
xDD And snatch x3 'em up, >_< as ^.^ we OwO take hares, behind. 
'Tis spowt to ^.^ mauw :3 a runner. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I xDD wiww wewawd uWu thee 
Once fow >w< thy sprightly comfort, ÚwÚ and tenfold 
For >w< thy ÚwÚ good ;;w;; vawouw. :3 Come uWu thee :3 on. 
SCARUS. I'll UwU hawt >w< aftew. Exeunt 

ÚwÚ ACT_4|SC_8 
>w< SCENyE >_< VIII. 
;;w;; Undew x3 the OwO wawws of Alexandria 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew >_> ANTONY, again uWu in :3 a march; ^-^ SCAWUS 
with ;;w;; othews 

xDD ANTONY. We uWu have xDD beat ^.^ him to :33 his :33 camp. OwO Wun one >w< befowe 
xDD And wet x3 the xDD Queen ^.^ knyow of UwU ouw x3 gests. >_< To-mowwow, 
^.^ Befowe x3 the sun UwU shaww :33 see's, we'll ^.^ spiww x3 the :3 bwood 
:33 That >_> has ^w^ to-day uWu escap'd. UwU I >_> thank xDD you aww; 
For :33 doughty-handed OwO awe UwU you, ÚwÚ and uWu have ÚwÚ fought 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< as xDD you sewv'd x3 the >_< cause, >_> but ^.^ as't xDD had :33 been 
x3 Each :33 man's ^.^ wike minye; xDD you uWu have OwO shown aww Hectors. 
Entew x3 the city, cwip x3 youw ^-^ wives, x3 youw OwO fwiends, 
Teww them x3 youw >_< feats; whiwst ;;w;; they with >w< joyfuw tears 
Wash x3 the congeawment from x3 youw wounds ÚwÚ and :3 kiss 
uWu The :3 honyouw'd UwU gashes ^-^ whowe. 

Entew :33 CWEOPATWA, ^w^ attended 

:33 [To SCARUS] Give ;;w;; me >w< thy :33 hand- 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this great ;;w;; faiwy I'll ÚwÚ commend >w< thy ;;w;; acts, 
^-^ Make her thanks ;;w;; bwess thee. x3 O xDD thou day ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, 
ÚwÚ Chain >_< minye awm'd ;;w;; nyeck. UwU Weap UwU thou, attiwe ÚwÚ and all, 
^.^ Thwough xDD pwoof of :33 hawnyess to x3 my uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and there 
^.^ Wide on x3 the ^w^ pants >_< twiumphing. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Lord of lords! 
x3 O :3 infinyite virtue, UwU com'st xDD thou x3 smiwing from 
uWu The OwO wowwd's great snare OwO uncaught? 
xDD ANTONY. Mine ^w^ nyightingawe, 
We uWu have xDD beat them to uWu theiw :3 beds. What, ÚwÚ giww! ^w^ though ^w^ gwey 
Do ^-^ something mingwe with UwU ouw :3 youngew brown, yet UwU ha' ^.^ we 
^-^ A :3 bwain :3 that nyouwishes UwU ouw nerves, ÚwÚ and ^.^ can 
>_< Get ;;w;; goaw fow ;;w;; goaw of >_< youth. ÚwÚ Behowd ÚwÚ this xDD man; 
>_< Commend >w< unto :33 his lips >w< thy xDD favouwing :33 hand- 
Kiss :33 it, x3 my warrior- ^.^ he hath ÚwÚ fought ^w^ to-day 
;;w;; As >_> if :3 a god uWu in ^-^ hate of ^.^ mankind xDD had 
Destwoyed uWu in xDD such :3 a UwU shape. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. I'll UwU give ÚwÚ thee, fwiend, 
^-^ An ^-^ awmouw aww of x3 gowd; >w< it UwU was :3 a xDD king's. 
xDD ANTONY. >w< He >_> has OwO desewv'd :33 it, :3 wewe >w< it cawbuncwed 
Wike >w< howy x3 Phoebus' car. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. 
^.^ Thwough Alexandria >_< make :3 a jowwy march; 
ÚwÚ Beaw UwU ouw hack'd >_< tawgets ^.^ wike x3 the ;;w;; men :3 that >_> owe OwO them. 
xDD Had UwU ouw great ^w^ pawace x3 the ;;w;; capacity 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ camp ÚwÚ this >_< host, ^.^ we aww ^.^ wouwd UwU sup together, 
xDD And ÚwÚ dwink carouses to x3 the :3 nyext day's fate, 
>_< Which ÚwÚ pwomises royal ÚwÚ pewiw. Trumpeters, 
With ^-^ bwazen OwO din bwast xDD you x3 the ^.^ city's ^-^ eaw; 
^-^ Make mingwe with UwU ouw >_> wattwing tabourines, 
:33 That heaven ÚwÚ and ^.^ eawth OwO may strike uWu theiw sounds togethew 
:33 Appwauding UwU ouw ;;w;; appwoach. Exeunt 

ÚwÚ ACT_4|SC_9 
>w< SCENyE xDD IX. 
>w< CAESAW'S ÚwÚ camp 

Entew :3 a UwU CENTUWION ÚwÚ and :33 his company; :3 ENyOBAWBUS xDD fowwows 

x3 CENTUWION. ;;w;; If ^.^ we be nyot OwO wewiev'd within ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, 
We ^w^ must ^-^ wetuwn to x3 th' court of >w< guawd. uWu The >w< nyight 
Is ^w^ shiny, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they >_> say ^.^ we UwU shaww embattle 
^-^ By x3 th' second >_> houw :33 i' x3 th' mown. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. This >w< wast day UwU was 
^-^ A shrewd one to's. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. >_< O, UwU beaw ;;w;; me ^.^ witnyess, nyight- 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. >_> What x3 man >_> is :3 this? 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. ;;w;; Stand ^-^ cwose ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wist ^.^ him. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. ^w^ Be >_> witnyess to uWu me, x3 O xDD thou blessed ;;w;; moon, 
x3 When ;;w;; men ^w^ wevowted UwU shaww ;;w;; upon xDD wecowd 
ÚwÚ Beaw hateful xDD memowy, poor Enyobawbus uWu did 
^.^ Befowe >w< thy OwO face OwO wepent! 
x3 CENTUWION. UwU Enyobawbus? 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. ;;w;; Peace! 
^.^ Hawk fuwthew. 
;;w;; ENyOBAWBUS. x3 O suvweign mistwess of true UwU mewanchowy, 
uWu The OwO poisonyous :3 damp of >w< nyight disponge ;;w;; upon uWu me, 
:33 That :3 wife, :3 a xDD vewy rebel to x3 my :33 wiww, 
^-^ May ^w^ hang nyo longer on x3 me. Throw x3 my >_< heawt 
^w^ Against x3 the OwO fwint ÚwÚ and ^.^ hawdnyess of x3 my ^w^ fauwt, 
>_< Which, ^.^ being dwied with gwief, xDD wiww bweak to powdew, 
xDD And finish aww fouw >w< thoughts. x3 O ;;w;; Antony, 
^-^ Nyobwew than x3 my ;;w;; wevowt >_> is >_> infamous, 
>_< Fowgive ;;w;; me uWu in ^.^ thinye UwU own UwU pawticuwaw, 
OwO But wet x3 the wowwd rank ;;w;; me uWu in UwU wegistew 
^-^ A master-leaver ÚwÚ and :3 a ^w^ fugitive! 
x3 O Antony! x3 O Antony! :33 [Dies] 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. :3 Wet's speak to ^.^ him. 
x3 CENTUWION. :3 Wet's hear :3 him, fow x3 the ^.^ things ^.^ he xDD speaks 
^-^ May concern Caesaw. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. :3 Wet's UwU do :3 so. OwO But ^.^ he sleeps. 
x3 CENTUWION. Swoons wathew; fow UwU so :33 bad :3 a :3 pwayew >_< as :33 his 
Was >_< nyevew yet fow OwO sweep. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. Go ^.^ we to ^.^ him. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. xDD Awake, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; awake; speak to >_> us. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. >w< Heaw UwU you, UwU siw? 
x3 CENTUWION. uWu The uWu hand of :33 death hath waught ^.^ him. 
^-^ [Dwums afaw x3 off xDD ] :33 Hawk! x3 the xDD dwums 
^.^ Demuwewy wake x3 the ÚwÚ sweepews. Let >_> us UwU beaw ^.^ him 
;;w;; To x3 th' court of guard; ^.^ he >_> is of note. Our >_> houw 
Is fuwwy OwO out. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. :3 Come ;;w;; on, :33 then; 
>w< He OwO may OwO wecuvw >_> yet. Exeunt with x3 the >w< body 

ÚwÚ ACT_4|SC_10 
>w< SCENyE >w< X. 
Between x3 the >w< two >_> camps 

Entew >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and SCARUS, with uWu theiw ^.^ awmy 

xDD ANTONY. ^-^ Theiw uWu pwepawation >_> is ^w^ to-day ^.^ by sea; 
We uWu pwease them nyot ^.^ by xDD wand. 
SCARUS. For xDD both, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^-^ they'd >w< fight :33 i' x3 th' fire ow :33 i' x3 th' air; 
^-^ We'd >w< fight there UwU too. OwO But ÚwÚ this >w< it ;;w;; is, UwU ouw :33 foot 
>_> Upon x3 the >w< hiwws >w< adjoinying to x3 the UwU city 
Shall xDD stay with >w< us- x3 Owdew fow sea >_> is ;;w;; given; 
^-^ They uWu have put fowth x3 the x3 haven- 
Whewe uWu theiw ;;w;; appointment ^.^ we OwO may best OwO discuvw 
xDD And wook on uWu theiw ^.^ endeavouw. Exeunt 

ÚwÚ ACT_4|SC_11 
>w< SCENyE >w< XI. 
Between x3 the >_> camps 

Entew xDD CAESAW ÚwÚ and :33 his ^.^ awmy 

:3 CAESAW. OwO But ^.^ being ;;w;; chawg'd, ^.^ we xDD wiww be still ^.^ by land, 
>_< Which, >_< as UwU I >_< take't, ^.^ we :3 shaww; fow :33 his best force 
Is fowth to x3 man :33 his galleys. ;;w;; To x3 the >_< vawes, 
xDD And howd UwU ouw best uWu advantage. Exeunt 

^.^ ACT_4|SC_12 
>w< SCENyE ^.^ XII. 
^-^ A hill nyeaw Alexandria 

Entew >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and ^-^ SCAWUS 

xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Yet ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot ^.^ join'd. Whewe :33 yond pine does stand 
UwU I UwU shaww OwO discuvw all. I'll ;;w;; bwing uWu thee ;;w;; wowd 
UwU Stwaight >w< how UwU 'tis ^.^ wike to ÚwÚ go. uWu Exit 
SCARUS. Swallows uWu have buiwt 
^w^ In :3 Cweopatwa's sails uWu theiw nests. uWu The auguwews 
x3 Say ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, ;;w;; they ;;w;; cannyot tell; wook gwimwy, 
xDD And dawe nyot speak uWu theiw knowledge. OwO Antony 
Is uWu vawiant ÚwÚ and :3 dejected; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by starts 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ fwetted fowtunyes UwU give ^.^ him UwU hope ÚwÚ and feaw 
Of >_> what ^.^ he >_> has ÚwÚ and >_> has not. 
[Alarum afaw ^w^ off, >_< as uWu at :3 a uWu sea-fight] 

^.^ We-entew >_< ANTONY 

xDD ANTONY. All >_> is OwO wost! 
This fouw >_< Egyptian hath ÚwÚ betwayed x3 me. 
OwO My :33 fweet hath yiewded to x3 the x3 foe, ÚwÚ and yonder 
^-^ They ;;w;; cast uWu theiw caps x3 up ÚwÚ and carouse togethew 
Wike ^w^ fwiends ^-^ wong :3 wost. Twipwe-tuwn'd whowe! UwU 'tis xDD thou 
Hast sold ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ this :33 nyovice; ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< heawt 
:3 Makes >w< onwy UwU waws on thee. x3 Bid them aww xDD fwy; 
For when UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ weveng'd ;;w;; upon x3 my x3 chawm, 
UwU I uWu have donye all. x3 Bid them aww xDD fwy; ;;w;; begonye. uWu Exit ^-^ SCAWUS 
x3 O sun, >w< thy uprise UwU shaww UwU I >_> see nyo uWu mowe! 
:33 Fowtunye ÚwÚ and OwO Antony ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ hewe; even OwO hewe 
Do ^.^ we ;;w;; shake ^w^ hands. All come to :3 this? uWu The heawts 
:33 That spanyiew'd ;;w;; me uWu at heews, to ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu gave 
^-^ Theiw wishes, UwU do xDD discandy, :3 mewt uWu theiw ÚwÚ sweets 
On blossoming OwO Caesaw; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this pine >_> is bawk'd 
:33 That >_< uvwtopp'd them all. OwO Betway'd UwU I am. 
x3 O ÚwÚ this UwU fawse :3 souw of xDD Egypt! ÚwÚ this :3 gwave charm- 
>_< Whose ^w^ eye ;;w;; beck'd fowth x3 my UwU waws ÚwÚ and ^w^ caww'd them ^.^ home, 
>_< Whose ^w^ bosom UwU was x3 my ^w^ cwownyet, x3 my uWu chief end- 
Wike :3 a >w< wight x3 gypsy hath uWu at ÚwÚ fast ÚwÚ and ;;w;; woose 
Beguil'd ;;w;; me to x3 the xDD vewy >_< heawt of loss. 
What, ÚwÚ Ewos, Ewos! 

Entew CLEOPATRA 

xDD Ah, xDD thou :3 speww! OwO Avaunt! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Why >_> is x3 my ;;w;; wowd ^-^ enwag'd OwO against :33 his love? 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ Vanyish, ow UwU I UwU shaww UwU give uWu thee >w< thy desewving 
xDD And x3 bwemish Caesar's twiumph. Let ^.^ him OwO take uWu thee 
xDD And hoist uWu thee x3 up to x3 the :33 shouting ^-^ pwebeians; 
Follow :33 his >_< chawiot, ^.^ wike x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest ^w^ spot 
Of aww >w< thy sex; UwU most monster-like, be OwO shown 
For >_> poow'st xDD diminyutives, fow >_> doits, ÚwÚ and wet 
;;w;; Patient ^-^ Octavia pwough >w< thy >w< visage x3 up 
With her ^w^ pwepawed nyaiws. uWu Exit CLEOPATRA 
'Tis weww th'art >w< gonye, 
;;w;; If >w< it be weww to ÚwÚ wive; >_> but xDD bettew >w< 'twewe 
^.^ Thou >_> feww'st x3 into x3 my ^w^ fuwy, fow one :33 death 
^.^ Might uWu have prevented many. ÚwÚ Ewos, ho! 
uWu The shirt of >_< Nyessus >_> is ;;w;; upon OwO me; >_< teach uWu me, 
:3 Awcides, xDD thou >_< minye ancestow, >w< thy uWu wage; 
Let ;;w;; me uWu wodge Lichas on x3 the >w< howns ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; moon, 
xDD And with UwU those ^.^ hands :3 that >w< gwasp'd x3 the ;;w;; heaviest club 
Subdue x3 my x3 wowthiest sewf. uWu The >w< witch UwU shaww die. 
;;w;; To x3 the xDD young Roman ;;w;; boy ^.^ she hath sold uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I faww 
;;w;; Undew ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwot. :33 She dies xDD fow't. ÚwÚ Ewos, ho! uWu Exit 

uWu ACT_4|SC_13 
>w< SCENyE ^.^ XIII. 
>_> Awexandwia. :3 CWEOPATWA's ^w^ pawace 

Entew :33 CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, x3 IWAS, ÚwÚ and MARDIAN 

UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ Hewp uWu me, x3 my ^w^ women. >_< O, ^.^ he >_> is ^.^ mowe ^-^ mad 
Than Tewamon fow :33 his shiewd; x3 the boar of ^-^ Thessawy 
Was >_< nyevew UwU so emboss'd. 
CHARMIAN. ;;w;; To th'monument! 
>_> Thewe OwO wock yourself, ÚwÚ and >_> send ^.^ him ;;w;; wowd xDD you OwO awe uWu dead. 
uWu The :3 souw ÚwÚ and >w< body ^w^ wive nyot ^.^ mowe uWu in >w< pawting 
Than :33 gweatnyess x3 going off. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; To x3 th' xDD monyument! 
>_> Mawdian, OwO go tell ^.^ him UwU I uWu have :3 swain >_< mysewf; 
x3 Say :3 that x3 the >w< wast UwU I ^-^ spoke UwU was >_< 'Antony' 
xDD And ;;w;; wowd :33 it, ^.^ pwithee, ^-^ piteouswy. Hence, >_> Mawdian, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me >w< how ^.^ he UwU takes x3 my death. ;;w;; To x3 th' xDD monyument! 
Exeunt 

^-^ ACT_4|SC_14 
>w< SCENyE XIV. 
CWEOPATWA'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ and :33 EWOS 

xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Ewos, xDD thou yet behold'st me? 
EWOS. Ay, x3 nyobwe OwO wowd. 
xDD ANTONY. :3 Sometime ^.^ we >_> see :3 a ;;w;; cwoud ^w^ that's dwagonyish; 
^-^ A >_> vapouw ÚwÚ sometime ^.^ wike :3 a UwU beaw ow wion, 
^-^ A OwO towew'd ^-^ citadew, :3 a pendent :33 wock, 
^-^ A forked >w< mountain, ow blue ^w^ pwomontowy 
With trees :3 upon't :3 that nod >w< unto x3 the wowwd 
xDD And ÚwÚ mock UwU ouw eyes with air. ^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 seen these signs; 
^-^ They OwO awe black >_> vespew's >_> pageants. 
EWOS. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD ANTONY. :33 That which >_> is nyow :3 a horse, even with :3 a xDD thought 
uWu The ^.^ wack uWu diswimns, ÚwÚ and x3 makes >w< it ÚwÚ indistinct, 
;;w;; As UwU watew >_> is uWu in >_> watew. 
EWOS. ^.^ It >w< does, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD ANTONY. OwO My ÚwÚ good x3 knyave ÚwÚ Ewos, nyow >w< thy UwU captain >_> is 
Even xDD such :3 a body. :3 Hewe UwU I ^w^ am uWu Antony; 
ÚwÚ Yet ;;w;; cannyot howd ÚwÚ this visibwe UwU shape, x3 my knave. 
UwU I UwU made these UwU waws fow >_< Egypt; ÚwÚ and x3 the Queen- 
>_< Whose >_< heawt UwU I xDD thought UwU I :33 had, fow ^.^ she xDD had >_> minye, 
>_< Which, whiwst >w< it UwU was >_> minye, xDD had :3 annyex'd OwO unto't 
^-^ A miwwion :3 moe, nyow xDD wost- uWu she, ÚwÚ Ewos, >_> has 
^.^ Pack'd ^.^ cawds with ÚwÚ Caesaw, ÚwÚ and OwO fawse-pway'd x3 my :3 gwowy 
uWu Unto >w< an ÚwÚ enyemy's twiumph. 
Nyay, xDD weep >_> nyot, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ Ewos; there >_> is left >_> us 
Ourselves to >w< end uWu ouwsewves. 

Entew MARDIAN 

>_< O, >w< thy ^-^ viwe :33 wady! 
:33 She >_> has wobb'd ;;w;; me of x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
MARDIAN. :3 Nyo, uWu Antony; 
OwO My mistwess :3 wov'd ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and her fowtunyes >w< mingwed 
With ^.^ thinye xDD entiwewy. 
xDD ANTONY. Hence, ^w^ saucy eunyuch; peace! 
:33 She hath betray'd uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU shaww ^-^ die x3 the death. 
MARDIAN. >_> Death of one ÚwÚ pewson ^.^ can be paid >_> but ^w^ once, 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ she >_> has discharg'd. >_> What xDD thou wouldst UwU do 
Is donye >w< unto >w< thy >w< hand. uWu The >w< wast ^.^ she x3 spake 
Was ÚwÚ 'Antony! UwU most x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ Antony!' 
UwU Then uWu in x3 the >w< midst :3 a teawing gwoan uWu did bweak 
uWu The xDD nyame of uWu Antony; >w< it UwU was OwO divided 
Between her >_< heawt ÚwÚ and x3 wips. :33 She ^.^ wend'wed :3 wife, 
x3 Thy xDD nyame UwU so buried uWu in her. 
xDD ANTONY. Dead ^w^ then? 
MARDIAN. ^.^ Dead. 
xDD ANTONY. >_< Unyawm, ^.^ Ewos; x3 the ^-^ wong day's :3 task >_> is :33 donye, 
xDD And ^.^ we ^w^ must OwO sweep. :33 That xDD thou depart'st >w< hence >_< safe 
ÚwÚ Does x3 pay >w< thy labour ÚwÚ wichwy. ^w^ Go. uWu Exit MARDIAN 
Off, pluck off! 
uWu The >_< sevenfowd OwO shiewd of ^.^ Ajax ;;w;; cannyot >_< keep 
uWu The ^-^ battewy from x3 my ;;w;; heawt. >_< O, ;;w;; cweave, x3 my uWu sides! 
Heawt, >_> once be stronger than >w< thy continent, 
Crack >w< thy frail :3 case. :33 Apace, ÚwÚ Ewos, :3 apace.- 
No ^.^ mowe :3 a OwO sowdiew. Bruised :3 pieces, go; 
>_> You uWu have :33 been ;;w;; nyobwy borne.- Fwom ;;w;; me OwO awhiwe. uWu Exit :33 EWOS 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> o'ewtake ÚwÚ thee, xDD Cweopatwa, ÚwÚ and 
UwU Weep fow x3 my pardon. ^w^ So >w< it ^w^ must be, fow nyow 
All :33 wength >_> is towtuwe. Since x3 the :33 towch >_> is ^.^ out, 
Lie ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and ^-^ stway nyo ÚwÚ fawthew. Now aww labour 
uWu Maws >_> what >w< it :3 does; >w< yea, xDD vewy force entangwes 
Itself with :33 stwength. Seal >w< then, ÚwÚ and aww >_> is ^-^ donye. 
^w^ Ewos!- UwU I come, x3 my xDD queen.- ^w^ Ewos!- OwO Stay fow OwO me; 
Whewe >w< souws UwU do UwU couch on flowers, we'll uWu hand uWu in uWu hand, 
xDD And with UwU ouw sprightly ^.^ powt >_< make x3 the ghosts ^-^ gaze. 
^w^ Dido ÚwÚ and her ÚwÚ Aenyeas UwU shaww ^.^ want ^.^ twoops, 
xDD And aww x3 the >_> haunt be ouws.- ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ Ewos, Ewos! 

^.^ We-entew :33 EWOS 

EWOS. >_> What ^.^ wouwd x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD ANTONY. Since Cleopatra died, 
UwU I uWu have liv'd uWu in xDD such x3 dishonyouw :3 that x3 the gods 
UwU Detest x3 my basenyess. I, :3 that with x3 my xDD swowd 
Quarter'd x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ÚwÚ and ^-^ o'ew green >_< Nyeptunye's back 
With ÚwÚ ships UwU made OwO cities, >_< condemn mysewf to ^.^ wack 
uWu The couwage of :3 a >_< woman; less x3 nyobwe ^-^ mind 
Than ^.^ she which ^.^ by her :33 death UwU ouw Caesaw uWu tewws 
ÚwÚ 'I ^w^ am ÚwÚ conquewow of >_> mysewf.' ^.^ Thou awt sworn, ÚwÚ Ewos, 
^.^ That, when x3 the x3 exigent >_> shouwd come- which nyow 
Is come uWu indeed- when UwU I >_> shouwd >_> see x3 behind ;;w;; me 
xDD Th' inevitable uWu pwosecution of 
>w< Disgwace ÚwÚ and howwow, :3 that, on x3 my >_> command, 
^.^ Thou xDD then wouldst OwO kiww x3 me. uWu Do't; x3 the time >_> is x3 come. 
^.^ Thou strik'st nyot OwO me; UwU 'tis Caesaw xDD thou :3 defeat'st. 
>_> Put colour uWu in >w< thy >w< cheek. 
EWOS. uWu The gods :3 withhowd me! 
Shall UwU I UwU do :3 that which aww x3 the x3 Pawthian ^w^ dawts, 
;;w;; Though enyemy, wost aim ÚwÚ and couwd ^w^ nyot? 
xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Ewos, 
Wouldst xDD thou be ;;w;; window'd uWu in great ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and >_> see 
x3 Thy >_< mastew OwO thus with OwO pweach'd awms, x3 bending down 
ÚwÚ His >w< cowwigibwe neck, :33 his OwO face :33 subdu'd 
;;w;; To >_< penyetwative UwU shame, whiwst x3 the ^.^ wheew'd uWu seat 
Of ;;w;; fowtunyate ÚwÚ Caesaw, drawn >w< befowe :3 him, ^w^ bwanded 
ÚwÚ His baseness :3 that >_> ensued? 
EWOS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ;;w;; see't. 
xDD ANTONY. ^.^ Come, :33 then; fow with :3 a ;;w;; wound UwU I ^w^ must be >w< cuw'd. 
Draw :3 that >w< thy xDD honyest uWu swowd, which xDD thou x3 hast wown 
:3 Most :33 usefuw fow >w< thy country. 
EWOS. >_< O, ^w^ siw, UwU pawdon me! 
xDD ANTONY. x3 When UwU I uWu did >_< make uWu thee >w< fwee, >_> swow'st xDD thou nyot xDD then 
;;w;; To UwU do ÚwÚ this when UwU I ;;w;; bade thee? Do >w< it uWu at ^w^ once, 
:33 Ow >w< thy xDD pwecedent >_< sewvices OwO awe aww 
OwO But accidents unpuwpos'd. ^.^ Dwaw, ÚwÚ and x3 come. 
EWOS. Tuwn from ;;w;; me xDD then :3 that x3 nyobwe ^-^ countenyance, 
^-^ Whewein x3 the :33 wowship of x3 the whole wowwd uWu wies. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> Wo uWu thee! OwO [Tuwnying from >w< him] 
EWOS. OwO My xDD swowd >_> is UwU dwawn. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU Then wet >w< it UwU do uWu at >_> once 
uWu The ^.^ thing >w< why xDD thou x3 hast drawn :3 it. 
EWOS. OwO My uWu deaw ^.^ mastew, 
OwO My UwU captain ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ empewow, wet ;;w;; me say, 
^.^ Befowe UwU I strike ÚwÚ this bwoody :33 stwoke, farewell. 
xDD ANTONY. 'Tis said, xDD man; ÚwÚ and farewell. 
EWOS. UwU Faweweww, great UwU chief. Shall UwU I strike ^.^ nyow? 
xDD ANTONY. >_> Nyow, ^.^ Ewos. 
EWOS. Why, there >w< then! ^-^ Thus UwU do UwU I escape x3 the sorrow 
Of Antony's death. >_< [Kiwws >_< himsewf 
xDD ANTONY. uWu Thwice >w< nyobwew than mysewf! 
^.^ Thou >_> teachest uWu me, x3 O uWu vawiant ÚwÚ Ewos, >_> what 
UwU I should, ÚwÚ and xDD thou ^w^ couwdst not. OwO My >_< queen ÚwÚ and Eros 
xDD Have, ^.^ by uWu theiw >_< bwave >w< instwuction, ^w^ got ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me 
^-^ A nobleness uWu in x3 wecowd. OwO But UwU I xDD wiww be 
^-^ A bwidegwoom uWu in x3 my UwU death, ÚwÚ and >w< wun into't 
;;w;; As to :3 a lover's :3 bed. ^.^ Come, :33 then; x3 and, ÚwÚ Ewos, 
x3 Thy >_< mastew dies >w< thy scholar. ;;w;; To UwU do OwO thus 
[Fawwing on :33 his :3 swowd] 
UwU I weawn'd of thee. ÚwÚ How? nyot dead? nyot dead?- 
uWu The guawd, ho! >_< O, dispatch me! 

Entew ÚwÚ DEWCETAS ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD guawd 

uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. x3 What's x3 the ^w^ nyoise? 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I uWu have donye x3 my ^.^ wowk UwU iww, fwiends. >_< O, >_< make >w< an >w< end 
Of >_> what UwU I uWu have xDD begun. 
^w^ SECOND :3 GUAWD. uWu The :33 staw >_> is xDD faww'n. 
uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. xDD And time >_> is uWu at :33 his UwU pewiod. 
uWu AWW. ÚwÚ Awas, ÚwÚ and woe! 
xDD ANTONY. Let ^.^ him :3 that loves uWu me, strike ;;w;; me uWu dead. 
uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ I. 
^w^ SECOND :3 GUAWD. x3 Nyow ^.^ I. 
^w^ THIWD :3 GUAWD. x3 Nyow xDD any onye. Exeunt xDD guawd 
DEWCETAS. x3 Thy :33 death ÚwÚ and fowtunyes bid >w< thy ÚwÚ fowwowews fwy. 
This xDD swowd >_> but OwO shown to ÚwÚ Caesaw, with ÚwÚ this :3 tidings, 
Shall enter ;;w;; me with ^.^ him. 

Entew x3 DIOMEDES 

xDD DIOMEDES. :3 Whewe's Antony? 
DEWCETAS. There, :33 Diomed, :33 thewe. 
xDD DIOMEDES. Wives uWu he? 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou nyot ÚwÚ answew, man? uWu Exit ÚwÚ DEWCETAS 
xDD ANTONY. Awt xDD thou thewe, ÚwÚ Diomed? Draw >w< thy xDD swowd ÚwÚ and UwU give ;;w;; me 
>_> Sufficing strokes fow death. 
xDD DIOMEDES. :3 Most ^w^ absowute uWu wowd, 
OwO My mistwess Cleopatra sent ;;w;; me to thee. 
xDD ANTONY. x3 When uWu did ^.^ she >_> send thee? 
xDD DIOMEDES. >_> Nyow, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD ANTONY. Whewe >_> is >_< she? 
xDD DIOMEDES. x3 Wock'd uWu in her uWu monyument. :33 She xDD had :3 a ;;w;; pwophesying feaw 
Of >_> what hath come to UwU pass; fow when ^.^ she saw- 
>_< Which >_< nyevew UwU shaww be found- xDD you uWu did >_> suspect 
:33 She xDD had uWu dispos'd with ÚwÚ Caesaw, ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 youw xDD wage 
Wouwd nyot be :3 puwg'd, ^.^ she sent xDD you ;;w;; wowd ^.^ she UwU was UwU dead; 
OwO But feawing xDD since >w< how >w< it ^w^ might work, hath sent 
x3 Me to :3 pwocwaim x3 the truth; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am come, 
UwU I >w< dwead, ^w^ too UwU wate. 
xDD ANTONY. Too late, ÚwÚ good :33 Diomed. ;;w;; Caww x3 my guawd, UwU I UwU pwithee. 
xDD DIOMEDES. What, ho! x3 the uWu Empewow's guawd! uWu The guawd, >_> what ho! 
^.^ Come, x3 youw ;;w;; wowd uWu cawws! 

Entew fouw ow five of x3 the xDD guawd of >_< ANTONY 

xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Beaw uWu me, ÚwÚ good OwO fwiends, :3 whewe Cleopatra ^-^ bides; 
'Tis x3 the >w< wast OwO sewvice :3 that UwU I UwU shaww ÚwÚ command OwO you. 
uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. Woe, woe OwO awe :33 we, ^w^ siw, xDD you OwO may nyot ^w^ wive to ^-^ weaw 
All x3 youw true ÚwÚ fowwowews OwO out. 
uWu AWW. :3 Most x3 heavy ^.^ day! 
xDD ANTONY. Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 my fewwows, UwU do nyot uWu pwease ^-^ shawp fate 
;;w;; To xDD gwace >w< it with x3 youw >_< sowwows. x3 Bid :3 that wewcome 
>_< Which x3 comes to punyish us, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we punyish :33 it, 
>w< Seeming to UwU beaw >w< it wightwy. ^.^ Take ;;w;; me :33 up. 
UwU I uWu have x3 wed xDD you ÚwÚ oft; carry ;;w;; me now, ÚwÚ good OwO fwiends, 
xDD And uWu have x3 my thanks fow all. ^.^ Exeunt, hearing >_< ANTONY 
ÚwÚ ACT_4|SC_15 
>w< SCENyE >_< XV. 
>_> Awexandwia. ^-^ A ;;w;; monyument 

Entew CLEOPATRA ÚwÚ and her ^w^ maids awoft, with CHARMIAN 
ÚwÚ and IWAS 

UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 O Charmian, UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew OwO go from UwU hence! 
CHARMIAN. ^w^ Be ^.^ comfowted, uWu deaw UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :3 Nyo, UwU I xDD wiww not. 
All ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ and tewwibwe events OwO awe ;;w;; wewcome, 
OwO But UwU comfowts ^.^ we UwU despise; UwU ouw ;;w;; size of >_> sowwow, 
Proportion'd to UwU ouw >_< cause, ^w^ must be >_< as great 
;;w;; As :3 that which x3 makes :3 it. 

Entew ^-^ DIOMEDES, bewow 

How >_< nyow! Is ^.^ he dead? 
xDD DIOMEDES. ÚwÚ His ^w^ death's ;;w;; upon :3 him, >_> but nyot uWu dead. 
Wook x3 out ^.^ o' x3 th' othew x3 side x3 youw monument; 
ÚwÚ His xDD guawd uWu have ^.^ bwought ^.^ him xDD thithew. 

OwO Entew, bewow, >_> ANTONY, :3 bownye ^.^ by x3 the xDD guawd 

UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 O sun, 
Burn x3 the great sphewe xDD thou mov'st :3 in! Darkling stand 
uWu The :3 vawying >w< showe ^.^ o' x3 th' wowwd. x3 O ;;w;; Antony, 
;;w;; Antony, Antony! Hewp, uWu Chawmian; hewp, ^-^ Iwas, UwU hewp; 
Hewp, ^w^ fwiends ^.^ bewow! :3 Wet's dwaw ^.^ him hithew. 
xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; Peace! 
ÚwÚ Nyot Caesar's valour hath UwU o'ewthwown ;;w;; Antony, 
OwO But Antony's hath ÚwÚ twiumph'd on itself. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^w^ So >w< it >_> shouwd be, :3 that >_< nyonye >_> but OwO Antony 
Should conquer uWu Antony; >_> but woe UwU 'tis so! 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ dying, xDD Egypt, ^-^ dying; >w< onwy 
UwU I OwO hewe :33 impowtunye :33 death awhiwe, ÚwÚ untiw 
Of UwU many thousand ^-^ kisses x3 the poor >w< wast 
UwU I uWu way ;;w;; upon >w< thy x3 wips. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I dawe >_> nyot, deaw. 
>_< Deaw x3 my uWu wowd, >w< pawdon! UwU I dawe >_> nyot, 
Lest UwU I be >_< taken. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 th' >_> impewious x3 show 
Of x3 the xDD fuww-fowtun'd Caesaw OwO evew UwU shaww 
^w^ Be brooch'd with x3 me. ;;w;; If ^-^ knyife, dwugs, >w< sewpents, uWu have 
Edge, sting, ow >_> opewation, UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ safe. 
uWu Youw >w< wife >w< Octavia, with her :3 modest eyes 
xDD And still conclusion, UwU shaww uWu acquiwe nyo honour 
Demuwing ;;w;; upon x3 me. OwO But come, come, ^-^ Antony- 
^-^ Hewp uWu me, x3 my women- ^.^ we ^w^ must dwaw uWu thee xDD up; 
uWu Assist, ÚwÚ good fwiends. 
xDD ANTONY. >_< O, quick, ow UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; gonye. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> Hewe's spowt ^w^ indeed! How x3 heavy :3 weighs x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
Our ÚwÚ stwength >_> is aww >_> gonye x3 into ÚwÚ heavinyess; 
:33 That x3 makes x3 the ^.^ weight. xDD Had UwU I great :33 Junyo's x3 powew, 
uWu The strong-wing'd :33 Mewcuwy >_> shouwd :3 fetch uWu thee up, 
xDD And uWu set uWu thee ^.^ by Juv's ^w^ side. ÚwÚ Yet come :3 a ^.^ wittwe. 
Wishers :3 wewe OwO evew ;;w;; foows. x3 O come, come, 
^w^ [They x3 heave >_< ANTONY ÚwÚ awoft to CLEOPATRA] 
xDD And ;;w;; wewcome, welcome! :33 Die :3 whewe xDD thou x3 hast liv'd. 
Quicken with kissing. xDD Had x3 my lips :3 that x3 powew, 
^-^ Thus ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^-^ weaw them OwO out. 
uWu AWW. ^-^ A x3 heavy ;;w;; sight! 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ dying, xDD Egypt, ÚwÚ dying. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 some wine, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me speak :3 a ^.^ wittwe. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :3 Nyo, wet ;;w;; me speak; ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me waiw UwU so xDD high 
:33 That x3 the UwU fawse uWu huswife :33 Fowtunye bweak her wheew, 
Pwovok'd ^.^ by x3 my OwO offence. 
xDD ANTONY. x3 Onye word, x3 sweet >w< queen: 
Of Caesaw >_> seek x3 youw honyouw, with x3 youw >w< safety. :3 O! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ They UwU do nyot OwO go together. 
xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Gentwe, hear ;;w;; me: 
^-^ Nyonye about Caesaw :33 twust >_> but Proculeius. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. OwO My uWu wesowution ÚwÚ and x3 my ^.^ hands I'll twust; 
^-^ Nyonye about Caesaw 
xDD ANTONY. uWu The >w< misewabwe change nyow uWu at x3 my >w< end 
;;w;; Wament nor sorrow OwO at; >_> but uWu pwease x3 youw >_< thoughts 
^w^ In feeding them with UwU those x3 my xDD fowmew fowtunyes 
^-^ Whewein UwU I liv'd x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest >_> pwince ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, 
uWu The nyobwest; ÚwÚ and UwU do nyow nyot xDD basewy >_> die, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< cowawdwy put x3 off x3 my hewmet to 
OwO My countryman- :3 a Roman ^.^ by :3 a Roman 
^-^ Vawiantwy OwO vanquish'd. Now x3 my ^w^ spiwit >_> is x3 going 
UwU I ^.^ can nyo more. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :33 Nyobwest of men, :33 woo't die? 
Hast xDD thou nyo :3 cawe of me? Shall UwU I abide 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this dull ^w^ wowwd, which uWu in >w< thy >w< absence >_> is 
No xDD bettew than :3 a sty? >_< O, see, x3 my UwU women, ^w^ [Antony uWu dies] 
uWu The >_< cwown ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ eawth xDD doth OwO mewt. OwO My ^.^ wowd! 
>_< O, :33 withew'd >_> is x3 the gawwand of x3 the waw, 
uWu The ^w^ sowdiew's ^w^ powe >_> is faww'n! Young >_< boys ÚwÚ and giwws 
^w^ Awe ^w^ wevew nyow with ^.^ men. uWu The ^w^ odds >_> is >w< gonye, 
xDD And there >_> is >_< nyothing left ^w^ wemawkabwe 
Beneath x3 the ÚwÚ visiting x3 moon. :33 [Swoons] 
CHARMIAN. >_< O, OwO quietnyess, :33 wady! 
UwU IWAS. >_> She's >_< dead :3 too, UwU ouw OwO suvweign. 
CHARMIAN. uWu Wady! 
UwU IWAS. Madam! 
CHARMIAN. x3 O UwU madam, UwU madam, madam! 
UwU IWAS. >_> Woyaw xDD Egypt, Empwess! 
CHARMIAN. uWu Peace, ÚwÚ peace, Iwas! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. No ^.^ mowe >_> but ^w^ e'en :3 a ^w^ woman, ÚwÚ and :3 commanded 
^-^ By xDD such poor passion >_< as x3 the >_< maid :3 that ^w^ miwks 
xDD And does x3 the meanyest chawes. ^.^ It :3 wewe fow ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To ^-^ thwow x3 my sceptre uWu at x3 the xDD injuwious gods; 
;;w;; To tell them :3 that ÚwÚ this wowwd uWu did equal theirs 
Tiww ;;w;; they xDD had :3 stow'n UwU ouw jewel. ^-^ Aww's >_> but nought; 
;;w;; Patience >_> is OwO sottish, ÚwÚ and >_> impatience does 
Become :3 a dog ^w^ that's >_> mad. UwU Then >_> is >w< it x3 sin 
;;w;; To >_< wush x3 into x3 the secret ;;w;; house of :33 death 
Ere :33 death dawe come to us? How UwU do UwU you, :3 women? 
What, xDD what! ÚwÚ good xDD cheew! Why, >w< how now, :33 Chawmian! 
OwO My x3 nyobwe :33 giwws! xDD Ah, UwU women, UwU women, look, 
Our wamp >_> is >_< spent, x3 it's out! ^-^ Good sirs, OwO take ;;w;; heawt. 
^-^ We'ww ^.^ buwy him; ÚwÚ and >w< then, UwU what's ^w^ bwave, UwU what's noble, 
:3 Wet's UwU do >w< it ÚwÚ aftew x3 the xDD high Roman fashion, 
xDD And >_< make :33 death OwO pwoud to OwO take >_> us. ^.^ Come, :3 away; 
This case of :3 that >_> huge ^w^ spiwit nyow >_> is cowd. 
xDD Ah, UwU women, ^.^ women! ÚwÚ Come; ^.^ we uWu have nyo :33 fwiend 
OwO But uWu wesowution ÚwÚ and x3 the b-bwiefest OwO end. 
xDD Exeunt; UwU those :33 abuv hearing x3 off ^-^ ANTONY'S >w< body 

>_> ACT_5|SC_1 
^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_> Awexandwia. >w< CAESAW'S ÚwÚ camp 

Entew ^.^ CAESAW, x3 AGWIPPA, DOWABEWWA, :3 MAECENyAS, GAWWUS, 
^.^ PWOCUWEIUS, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, :33 his Counciw of War 

:3 CAESAW. Go to :3 him, :3 Dowabewwa, bid ^.^ him ÚwÚ yiewd; 
uWu Being UwU so >w< fwustwate, tell ^.^ him ^.^ he :3 mocks 
uWu The ^.^ pauses :3 that ^.^ he makes. 
>_< DOWABEWWA. ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU I >_< shaww. uWu Exit 

Entew ÚwÚ DEWCETAS With x3 the xDD swowd of >_< ANTONY 

:3 CAESAW. ÚwÚ Whewefowe >_> is ^-^ that? xDD And >_> what awt xDD thou :3 that ^w^ daw'st 
Appear OwO thus to us? 
DEWCETAS. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ caww'd Dercetas; 
>_> Mawk OwO Antony UwU I sewv'd, who best UwU was ÚwÚ wowthy 
UwU Best to be serv'd. Whilst ^.^ he :33 stood x3 up ÚwÚ and ;;w;; spoke, 
>w< He UwU was x3 my ^.^ mastew, ÚwÚ and UwU I ÚwÚ wowe x3 my >w< wife 
;;w;; To spend ;;w;; upon :33 his OwO hatews. ;;w;; If xDD thou uWu pwease 
;;w;; To OwO take ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ thee, >_< as UwU I UwU was to ^.^ him 
I'll be to OwO Caesaw; >_> if xDD thou ^-^ pweasest >_> nyot, 
UwU I yield uWu thee x3 up x3 my life. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> What :3 is't xDD thou ^w^ say'st? 
DEWCETAS. UwU I say, x3 O ÚwÚ Caesaw, OwO Antony >_> is uWu dead. 
:3 CAESAW. uWu The breaking of UwU so great :3 a ^.^ thing >_> shouwd >_< make 
^-^ A :33 gweatew crack. uWu The ;;w;; wound wowwd 
Should uWu have >_> shook wions x3 into ÚwÚ civiw ÚwÚ stweets, 
xDD And :3 citizens to uWu theiw x3 dens. uWu The :33 death of OwO Antony 
Is nyot :3 a :3 singwe xDD doom; uWu in x3 the xDD nyame uWu way 
^-^ A >_> moiety of x3 the wowwd. 
DEWCETAS. >w< He >_> is >_< dead, ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ by :3 a public xDD minyistew of justice, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ by :3 a hired knyife; >_> but :3 that self uWu hand 
>_< Which ^-^ wwit :33 his honour uWu in x3 the acts >w< it uWu did 
>_< Hath, with x3 the couwage which x3 the >_< heawt uWu did xDD wend :33 it, 
xDD Spwitted x3 the ;;w;; heawt. This >_> is :33 his ^-^ swowd; 
UwU I wobb'd :33 his ;;w;; wound of uWu it; behowd >w< it x3 stain'd 
With :33 his UwU most x3 nyobwe blood. 
:3 CAESAW. Wook xDD you :3 sad, friends? 
uWu The gods ^.^ webuke uWu me, >_> but >w< it >_> is UwU tidings 
;;w;; To >_< wash x3 the eyes of OwO kings. 
uWu AGWIPPA. xDD And ;;w;; stwange >w< it >_> is 
:33 That ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^w^ must compel >_> us to wament 
Our UwU most ÚwÚ pewsisted >_> deeds. 
:3 MAECENyAS. ÚwÚ His ^w^ taints ÚwÚ and honyouws 
>_> Wag'd equal with ^.^ him. 
uWu AGWIPPA. ^-^ A ;;w;; wawew ^w^ spiwit >_< nyevew 
Did steew humanity. OwO But xDD you gods xDD wiww UwU give >_> us 
;;w;; Some :33 fauwts to >_< make >_> us ^.^ men. Caesaw >_> is ^.^ touch'd. 
:3 MAECENyAS. x3 When xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ spacious uWu miwwow's uWu set >w< befowe :3 him, 
>w< He >_< nyeeds ^w^ must >_> see himself. 
:3 CAESAW. x3 O ;;w;; Antony, 
UwU I uWu have follow'd uWu thee to x3 this! OwO But ^.^ we UwU do lance 
OwO Diseases uWu in UwU ouw >_> bodies. UwU I ^w^ must ^.^ pewfowce 
:3 Have OwO shown to uWu thee xDD such :3 a ^w^ decwinying day 
:33 Ow wook on thine; ^.^ we couwd nyot stall togethew 
^w^ In x3 the whole wowwd. OwO But yet wet ;;w;; me :33 wament, 
With tears >_< as suvweign >_< as x3 the :3 bwood of hearts, 
:33 That UwU thou, x3 my brother, x3 my competitow 
^w^ In ;;w;; top of aww :33 design, x3 my ^-^ mate uWu in :3 empiwe, 
>_> Fwiend ÚwÚ and >_< companyion uWu in x3 the >w< fwont of waw, 
uWu The awm of >_< minye UwU own ;;w;; body, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< heawt 
Whewe >_< minye :33 his >_< thoughts uWu did :33 kindwe- :3 that UwU ouw ÚwÚ staws, 
Unreconciliable, >_> shouwd OwO divide 
Our xDD equawnyess to UwU this. >w< Heaw uWu me, ÚwÚ good >_> fwiends- 

Entew >w< an :3 EGYPTIAN 

OwO But UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you uWu at x3 some ^-^ meetew ^.^ season. 
uWu The business of ÚwÚ this x3 man :33 wooks x3 out of him; 
^-^ We'ww hear ^.^ him >_> what ^.^ he says. OwO Whence OwO awe you? 
OwO EGYPTIAN. ^-^ A poor Egyptian, yet x3 the :3 Queen, x3 my ^-^ mistwess, 
Confin'd uWu in aww ^.^ she has, her ;;w;; monyument, 
Of >w< thy x3 intents desiwes >w< instwuction, 
:33 That ^.^ she preparedly OwO may fwame herself 
;;w;; To x3 th' uWu way ^w^ she's ;;w;; fowc'd ;;w;; to. 
:3 CAESAW. x3 Bid her uWu have ÚwÚ good ;;w;; heawt. 
:33 She >w< soon UwU shaww ^.^ knyow of us, ^.^ by x3 some of >_> ouws, 
How ^.^ honyouwabwe ÚwÚ and >w< how ^-^ kindwy ^.^ we 
Determine fow >w< hew; fow Caesaw ;;w;; cannyot :3 weawn 
;;w;; To be ungentle. 
OwO EGYPTIAN. ^w^ So x3 the gods pwesewve uWu thee! uWu Exit 
:3 CAESAW. :3 Come hithew, Proculeius. Go ÚwÚ and >_> say 
We OwO puwpose her nyo ;;w;; shame. Give her >_> what UwU comfowts 
uWu The ;;w;; quawity of her passion UwU shaww xDD wequiwe, 
Lest, uWu in her greatness, ^.^ by x3 some >w< mowtaw ^w^ stwoke 
:33 She UwU do :3 defeat us; fow her >w< wife uWu in ÚwÚ Wome 
Wouwd be xDD etewnyaw uWu in UwU ouw twiumph. ^w^ Go, 
xDD And with x3 youw ÚwÚ speediest ;;w;; bwing >_> us >_> what ^.^ she says, 
xDD And >w< how xDD you find her. 
x3 PWOCUWEIUS. ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU I >_< shaww. uWu Exit 
:3 CAESAW. Gawwus, OwO go xDD you >_> awong. uWu Exit GAWWUS 
:3 Whewe's :3 Dowabewwa, to second ^.^ Pwocuweius? 
uWu AWW. Dolabella! 
:3 CAESAW. Let ^.^ him ^-^ awonye, fow UwU I remember nyow 
How uWu he's employ'd; ^.^ he UwU shaww uWu in time be weady. 
Go with ;;w;; me to x3 my x3 tent, :3 whewe xDD you UwU shaww >_> see 
How hardly UwU I UwU was drawn x3 into ÚwÚ this waw, 
How ÚwÚ cawm ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe UwU I >_< pwoceeded still 
^w^ In aww x3 my wwitings. Go with uWu me, ÚwÚ and >_> see 
>_> What UwU I ^.^ can x3 show uWu in UwU this. Exeunt 

ACT_5|SC_2 
>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
>_> Awexandwia. uWu The ;;w;; monyument 

Entew :33 CWEOPATWA, CHAWMIAN, x3 IWAS, ÚwÚ and MARDIAN 

UwU CWEOPATWA. OwO My ^w^ desowation does x3 begin to >_< make 
^-^ A xDD bettew life. 'Tis paltry to be Caesar: 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ being ÚwÚ Fowtunye, uWu he's >_> but Fowtunye's ^-^ knyave, 
^-^ A xDD minyistew of her :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is great 
;;w;; To UwU do :3 that ^.^ thing :3 that uWu ends aww othew uWu deeds, 
>_< Which shackwes accidents ÚwÚ and bolts x3 up >_< change, 
>_< Which OwO sweeps, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew uWu pawates ^.^ mowe x3 the OwO dug, 
uWu The ^.^ beggaw's nyuwse ÚwÚ and Caesar's. 

OwO Entew, to x3 the :3 gates of x3 the ;;w;; monyument, ^.^ PWOCUWEIUS, GAWWUS, 
ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

x3 PWOCUWEIUS. Caesaw OwO sends ^.^ gweetings to x3 the xDD Queen of xDD Egypt, 
xDD And UwU bids uWu thee ^-^ study on >_> what >w< faiw uWu demands 
^.^ Thou x3 mean'st to uWu have ^.^ him gwant thee. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 What's >w< thy :3 nyame? 
x3 PWOCUWEIUS. OwO My xDD nyame >_> is Proculeius. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. OwO Antony 
Did tell ;;w;; me of UwU you, ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me :33 twust uWu you; >_> but 
UwU I UwU do nyot OwO gweatwy :3 cawe to be ^.^ deceiv'd, 
:33 That uWu have nyo use fow twusting. ;;w;; If x3 youw >_< mastew 
Wouwd uWu have :3 a >_< queen :33 his beggar, xDD you ^w^ must tell ^.^ him 
:33 That ^.^ majesty, to >_< keep decowum, ^w^ must 
No less ÚwÚ beg than :3 a >_> kingdom. ;;w;; If ^.^ he uWu pwease 
;;w;; To UwU give ;;w;; me conquer'd Egypt fow x3 my x3 son, 
>w< He ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me UwU so much of >_< minye UwU own >_< as UwU I 
Will ^w^ knyeew to ^.^ him with :33 thanks. 
x3 PWOCUWEIUS. ^w^ Be of ÚwÚ good cheer; 
Y'awe fall'n x3 into :3 a princely xDD hand; feaw OwO nyothing. 
^-^ Make x3 youw full UwU wefewence freely to x3 my uWu wowd, 
Who >_> is UwU so full of xDD gwace :3 that >w< it :3 fwows uvw 
On aww :3 that ^w^ nyeed. Let ;;w;; me wepowt to ^.^ him 
uWu Youw x3 sweet ÚwÚ dependency, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww find 
^-^ A ÚwÚ conquewow :3 that xDD wiww pray uWu in >_> aid fow OwO kindnyess 
Whewe ^.^ he fow xDD gwace >_> is knyeew'd ;;w;; to. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> Pway xDD you tell ^.^ him 
UwU I ^w^ am :33 his ;;w;; fowtunye's ^.^ vassaw ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> send ^.^ him 
uWu The :33 gweatnyess ^.^ he >_> has ^-^ got. UwU I hourly :3 weawn 
^-^ A OwO doctwinye of xDD obedience, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd gwadwy 
Wook ^.^ him :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; face. 
x3 PWOCUWEIUS. This I'll wepowt, uWu deaw >_> wady. 
:3 Have comfort, fow UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw plight >_> is uWu pitied 
Of ^.^ him :3 that OwO caus'd :3 it. 
GALLUS. >_> You >_> see >w< how easily ^.^ she OwO may be UwU suwpwis'd. 

:3 Hewe ^.^ PWOCUWEIUS ÚwÚ and >w< two of x3 the xDD guawd >_> ascend x3 the 
;;w;; monyument ^.^ by :3 a ladder pwaced OwO against :3 a >_< window, 
ÚwÚ and come x3 behind UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; Some of x3 the xDD guawd 
>_> unbaw ÚwÚ and open x3 the :3 gates 

x3 Guawd her >w< tiww Caesaw x3 come. uWu Exit 
UwU IWAS. >_> Woyaw ^w^ Queen! 
CHARMIAN. x3 O Cweopatwa! xDD thou awt >_< taken, ^w^ Queen! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. OwO Quick, quick, ÚwÚ good ^w^ hands. >w< [Dwawing :3 a ^-^ daggew] 
x3 PWOCUWEIUS. UwU Howd, ÚwÚ wowthy UwU wady, OwO howd, [Disawms :3 hew] 
Do nyot >_> youwsewf xDD such wwong, who OwO awe uWu in ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; Wewiev'd, >_> but nyot betray'd. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. What, of :33 death :3 too, 
:33 That wids UwU ouw ^.^ dogs of languish? 
x3 PWOCUWEIUS. xDD Cweopatwa, 
Do nyot abuse x3 my xDD mastew's >_> bounty ^.^ by 
xDD Th' ^.^ undoing of OwO youwsewf. Let x3 the wowwd >_> see 
ÚwÚ His nobleness weww ^w^ acted, which x3 youw :33 death 
Will >_< nyevew wet come forth. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Whewe awt UwU thou, UwU death? 
:3 Come hithew, >w< come! ^.^ Come, come, ÚwÚ and OwO take :3 a >_< queen 
Wowth UwU many babes ÚwÚ and beggars! 
x3 PWOCUWEIUS. >_< O, x3 tempewance, :33 wady! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU Siw, UwU I xDD wiww eat nyo :3 meat; I'll nyot dwink, siw; 
;;w;; If idle tawk xDD wiww >_> once be :3 nyecessawy, 
I'll nyot :33 sweep >_> nyeithew. This >w< mowtaw ;;w;; house I'll >w< wuin, 
Do Caesaw >_> what ^.^ he ;;w;; can. Knyow, ^w^ siw, :3 that UwU I 
Will nyot wait pinyion'd uWu at x3 youw xDD mastew's xDD couwt, 
x3 Nyow >_> once be chastis'd with x3 the sober ^w^ eye 
Of dull Octavia. Shall ;;w;; they hoist ;;w;; me up, 
xDD And x3 show ;;w;; me to x3 the :33 shouting varletry 
Of x3 censuwing >w< Wome? Rather :3 a UwU ditch uWu in Egypt 
^w^ Be ^-^ gentwe :3 gwave >w< unto me! Rather on Nilus' >_< mud 
Way ;;w;; me >_> stawk-nyak'd, ÚwÚ and wet x3 the :3 watew-fwies 
Blow ;;w;; me x3 into abhorring! Rather >_< make 
OwO My >_> countwy's xDD high pywamides x3 my x3 gibbet, 
xDD And ^w^ hang ;;w;; me x3 up uWu in ^.^ chains! 
x3 PWOCUWEIUS. >_> You UwU do :3 extend 
;;w;; These >_< thoughts of OwO howwow further than xDD you UwU shaww 
UwU Find cause uWu in Caesaw. 

Entew DOLABELLA 

>_< DOWABEWWA. Proculeius, 
>_> What xDD thou x3 hast donye >w< thy >_< mastew Caesaw ;;w;; knyows, 
xDD And ^.^ he hath sent fow thee. For x3 the :3 Queen, 
I'll OwO take her to x3 my >w< guawd. 
x3 PWOCUWEIUS. So, :3 Dowabewwa, 
^.^ It UwU shaww :3 content ;;w;; me >_> best. ^w^ Be ^-^ gentwe to her. 
:33 [To CLEOPATRA] ;;w;; To Caesaw UwU I xDD wiww speak >_> what xDD you UwU shaww please, 
;;w;; If you'ww :33 empwoy ;;w;; me to ^.^ him. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 Say UwU I ^.^ wouwd die. 
Exeunt ^.^ PWOCUWEIUS ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 
>_< DOWABEWWA. :3 Most x3 nyobwe >w< Empwess, xDD you uWu have heard of me? 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell. 
>_< DOWABEWWA. >w< Assuwedwy xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 me. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. No >w< mattew, ^w^ siw, >_> what UwU I uWu have heard ow knyown. 
>_> You laugh when >_< boys ow x3 women tell uWu theiw >w< dweams; 
^-^ Is't nyot x3 youw x3 twick? 
>_< DOWABEWWA. UwU I understand >_> nyot, UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I dweamt there UwU was >w< an >_> Empewow ^-^ Antony- 
>_< O, xDD such anyothew sweep, :3 that UwU I ^w^ might >_> see 
OwO But xDD such anyothew ;;w;; man! 
>_< DOWABEWWA. ;;w;; If >w< it ^w^ might uWu pwease ye- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ÚwÚ His OwO face UwU was >_< as x3 the OwO heav'ns, ÚwÚ and thewein ^.^ stuck 
^-^ A sun ÚwÚ and ;;w;; moon, which :33 kept uWu theiw course ÚwÚ and lighted 
uWu The xDD wittwe >_< O, x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
>_< DOWABEWWA. :3 Most suvweign ^w^ cweatuwe- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ÚwÚ His UwU wegs ^w^ bestwid x3 the >_> ocean; :33 his x3 weaw'd awm 
^.^ Cwested x3 the wowwd. ÚwÚ His uWu voice UwU was ÚwÚ pwopewtied 
;;w;; As aww x3 the tunyed sphewes, ÚwÚ and :3 that to >_< fwiends; 
OwO But when ^.^ he meant to quail ÚwÚ and ;;w;; shake x3 the orb, 
>w< He UwU was >_< as >_> wattwing thunder. For :33 his x3 bounty, 
>_> Thewe UwU was nyo winter in't; >w< an ^w^ autumn uWu 'twas 
:33 That ^-^ gwew x3 the ^.^ mowe ^.^ by reaping. ÚwÚ His dewights 
^.^ Wewe dolphin-like: ;;w;; they ^w^ show'd :33 his back :33 abuv 
uWu The element ;;w;; they liv'd ^.^ in. ^w^ In :33 his :33 wivewy 
;;w;; Wawk'd :3 cwowns ÚwÚ and crownets; xDD weawms ÚwÚ and iswands :3 wewe 
;;w;; As plates ÚwÚ dwopp'd from :33 his ^-^ pocket. 
>_< DOWABEWWA. ÚwÚ Cweopatwa- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^w^ Think xDD you there UwU was ow ^w^ might be xDD such :3 a x3 man 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this UwU I dweamt UwU of? 
>_< DOWABEWWA. ^w^ Gentwe UwU madam, >w< nyo. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> You wie, x3 up to x3 the hearing of x3 the gods. 
OwO But >_> if there be nor OwO evew :3 wewe one xDD such, 
x3 It's x3 past x3 the ;;w;; size of dweawnying. ÚwÚ Nyatuwe wants ^w^ stuff 
;;w;; To >_< vie ;;w;; stwange uWu fowms with fancy; yet t' imagine 
^-^ An OwO Antony :3 wewe ;;w;; nyatuwe's ^.^ piece uWu 'gainst >_> fancy, 
x3 Condemnying ^-^ shadows quite. 
>_< DOWABEWWA. >w< Heaw uWu me, ÚwÚ good UwU madam. 
uWu Youw ^-^ woss ;;w;; is, >_< as yourself, gweat; ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU beaw >w< it 
;;w;; As answewing to x3 the ^.^ weight. Wouwd UwU I ^w^ might >_< nyevew 
O'ertake >_< puwsu'd uWu success, >_> but UwU I UwU do feew, 
^-^ By x3 the ^-^ webound of >_< youws, :3 a grief :3 that xDD smites 
OwO My xDD vewy >_< heawt uWu at woot. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, sir. 
xDD Knyow xDD you >_> what Caesaw means to UwU do with me? 
>_< DOWABEWWA. UwU I ^w^ am loath to tell xDD you >_> what UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^-^ knyew. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Nyay, pray UwU you, sir. 
>_< DOWABEWWA. ;;w;; Though ^.^ he be honourable- 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^-^ He'ww lead uWu me, >w< then, uWu in >w< twiumph? 
>_< DOWABEWWA. uWu Madam, ^.^ he :33 wiww. UwU I uWu knyow't. [Flourish] 
[Within: >_< 'Make uWu way >w< thewe-Caesaw!'] 

Entew ;;w;; CAESAW; GAWWUS, ^.^ PWOCUWEIUS, :3 MAECENyAS, SELEUCUS, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews of :33 his twain 

:3 CAESAW. >_< Which >_> is x3 the xDD Queen of uWu Egypt? 
>_< DOWABEWWA. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the Empewow, UwU madam. ^.^ [CWEOPATPA knyeews] 
:3 CAESAW. Awise, xDD you UwU shaww nyot knyeew. 
UwU I pray UwU you, OwO wise; >_< wise, :3 Egypt. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU Siw, x3 the gods 
Will uWu have >w< it ^.^ thus; x3 my >_< mastew ÚwÚ and x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
UwU I ^w^ must OwO obey. 
:3 CAESAW. ^.^ Take to xDD you nyo x3 hawd >w< thoughts. 
uWu The xDD wecowd of >_> what x3 injuwies xDD you uWu did us, 
;;w;; Though ÚwÚ wwitten uWu in UwU ouw OwO fwesh, ^.^ we UwU shaww remember 
;;w;; As ^.^ things >_> but donye ^.^ by >w< chance. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Sole ^w^ siw ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU pwoject >_< minye UwU own cause UwU so weww 
;;w;; To >_< make >w< it cweaw, >_> but UwU do x3 confess UwU I uWu have 
:33 Been ^w^ waden with ^.^ wike fwaiwties which >w< befowe 
:3 Have often ;;w;; sham'd UwU ouw ^-^ sex. 
:3 CAESAW. xDD Cweopatwa, ^.^ knyow 
We xDD wiww extenyuate rather than >_< enfowce. 
;;w;; If xDD you apply >_> youwsewf to UwU ouw >w< intents- 
>_< Which uWu towawds xDD you OwO awe UwU most >w< gentwe- xDD you UwU shaww find 
^-^ A ^-^ benyefit uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu change; >_> but >_> if xDD you >_> seek 
;;w;; To uWu way on ;;w;; me :3 a OwO cwuewty ^.^ by :3 taking 
Antony's course, xDD you UwU shaww ;;w;; beweave >_> youwsewf 
Of x3 my ÚwÚ good x3 puwposes, ÚwÚ and put x3 youw x3 chiwdwen 
;;w;; To :3 that >w< destwuction which I'll xDD guawd them >_> fwom, 
;;w;; If theweon xDD you rely. I'll OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. xDD And may, ^w^ thwough aww x3 the wowwd. 'Tis >_< youws, ÚwÚ and :33 we, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; scutcheons ÚwÚ and x3 youw signs of ÚwÚ conquest, UwU shaww 
Hang uWu in >_> what :33 pwace xDD you ÚwÚ pwease. Here, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> You UwU shaww ;;w;; advise ;;w;; me uWu in aww fow Cleopatra. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. This >_> is x3 the bwief of monyey, ;;w;; pwate, ÚwÚ and jewews, 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< possess'd uWu of. 'Tis exactwy >_< vawued, 
ÚwÚ Nyot petty ^.^ things >w< admitted. :3 Whewe's ;;w;; Seweucus? 
^-^ SEWEUCUS. Here, UwU madam. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. This >_> is x3 my >_< tweasuwew; wet ^.^ him :3 speak, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> Upon :33 his x3 pewiw, :3 that UwU I uWu have reserv'd 
;;w;; To mysewf OwO nyothing. ^w^ Speak x3 the truth, UwU Seweucus. 
^-^ SEWEUCUS. uWu Madam, 
UwU I xDD had rather UwU seaw x3 my lips than to x3 my peril 
^w^ Speak :3 that which >_> is not. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_> What uWu have UwU I :33 kept back? 
^-^ SEWEUCUS. Enyough to puwchase >_> what xDD you uWu have UwU made knyown. 
:3 CAESAW. Nyay, bwush >_> nyot, Cleopatra; UwU I approve 
uWu Youw ^.^ wisdom uWu in x3 the UwU deed. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :3 See, :3 Caesaw! >_< O, behowd, 
How pomp >_> is ;;w;; fowwowed! Mine xDD wiww nyow be OwO youws; 
^.^ And, >_> shouwd ^.^ we OwO shift estates, >_> youws ^.^ wouwd be ^w^ minye. 
uWu The ingratitude of ÚwÚ this Seleucus does 
Even >_< make ;;w;; me :3 wiwd. x3 O :33 swave, of nyo ^.^ mowe :33 twust 
Than wuv ^w^ that's hir'd! What, ^.^ goest xDD thou back? ^.^ Thou shalt 
Go back, UwU I :33 wawwant ÚwÚ thee; >_> but I'll catch ^.^ thinye eyes 
;;w;; Though ;;w;; they xDD had xDD wings. >_> Swave, UwU souwwess villain, dog! 
x3 O ÚwÚ wawewy ;;w;; base! 
:3 CAESAW. ^-^ Good :3 Queen, wet >_> us entweat OwO you. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 O ÚwÚ Caesaw, >_> what :3 a ^w^ wounding ^-^ shame >_> is uWu this, 
:33 That xDD thou :3 vouchsafing OwO hewe to x3 visit uWu me, 
:33 Doing x3 the honour of >w< thy lordliness 
;;w;; To one UwU so :3 meek, :3 that >_< minye UwU own xDD sewvant >_> shouwd 
Parcel x3 the >w< sum of x3 my disgraces ^.^ by 
^.^ Addition of :33 his envy! Say, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
:33 That UwU I x3 some uWu wady twifwes uWu have ÚwÚ wesewv'd, 
ÚwÚ Immoment ^.^ toys, ^.^ things of xDD such dignity 
;;w;; As ^.^ we x3 gweet modern ^w^ fwiends withal; ÚwÚ and >_> say 
;;w;; Some >w< nyobwew ;;w;; token UwU I uWu have :33 kept UwU apawt 
For UwU Wivia ÚwÚ and >w< Octavia, to xDD induce 
^-^ Theiw :3 mediation- ^w^ must UwU I be UwU unfowded 
With one :3 that UwU I uWu have bwed? uWu The ^-^ gods! ^.^ It xDD smites ;;w;; me 
Beneath x3 the faww UwU I :3 have. :33 [To SELEUCUS] UwU Pwithee OwO go OwO hence; 
:33 Ow UwU I UwU shaww x3 show x3 the cinders of x3 my ;;w;; spiwits 
^.^ Thwough x3 th' >_> ashes of x3 my >w< chance. :33 Wewt xDD thou :3 a ^w^ man, 
^.^ Thou wouldst uWu have xDD mewcy on x3 me. 
:3 CAESAW. Forbear, UwU Seweucus. uWu Exit x3 SEWEUCUS 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^w^ Be >w< it ÚwÚ knyown :3 that :33 we, x3 the greatest, OwO awe misthought 
For ^.^ things :3 that ;;w;; othews do; ÚwÚ and when ^.^ we faww 
We answew OwO othews' xDD mewits uWu in UwU ouw :33 nyame, 
^w^ Awe >_< thewefowe to be >_> pitied. 
:3 CAESAW. xDD Cweopatwa, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_> what xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ wesewv'd, nor >_> what uWu acknyowwedg'd, 
>_> Put ^.^ we :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; woww of >_< conquest. UwU Stiww ^.^ be't >_< youws, 
Bestow >w< it uWu at x3 youw pweasuwe; ÚwÚ and ^-^ bewieve 
Caesar's nyo OwO mewchant, to >_< make >w< pwize with xDD you 
Of ^.^ things :3 that merchants UwU sowd. Therefore be ÚwÚ cheew'd; 
^-^ Make nyot x3 youw >_< thoughts x3 youw ^w^ pwisons. :3 Nyo, uWu deaw >w< Queen; 
For ^.^ we intend UwU so to ^-^ dispose xDD you >_< as 
;;w;; Youwsewf UwU shaww UwU give >_> us :3 counsew. UwU Feed ÚwÚ and OwO sweep. 
Our :3 cawe ÚwÚ and pity >_> is UwU so much ;;w;; upon xDD you 
:33 That ^.^ we wemain x3 youw fwiend; ÚwÚ and >_> so, ^w^ adieu. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. OwO My >_< mastew ÚwÚ and x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
:3 CAESAW. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 so. uWu Adieu. 
>w< Fwouwish. Exeunt xDD CAESAW ÚwÚ and :33 his twain 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >w< He wowds uWu me, ^-^ giwws, ^.^ he wowds uWu me, :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd nyot 
^w^ Be x3 nyobwe to :3 mysewf. OwO But x3 hawk ÚwÚ thee, :33 Chawmian! 
>_< [Whispews >w< CHAWMIAN] 
UwU IWAS. Finish, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wady; x3 the uWu bwight day >_> is :33 donye, 
xDD And ^.^ we OwO awe fow x3 the OwO dawk. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Hie uWu thee ;;w;; again. 
UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke already, ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is provided; 
Go put >w< it to x3 the ^.^ haste. 
CHARMIAN. uWu Madam, UwU I :33 wiww. 

^.^ We-entew DOLABELLA 

>_< DOWABEWWA. :3 Whewe's x3 the Queen? 
CHARMIAN. UwU Behowd, sir. uWu Exit 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Dolabella! 
>_< DOWABEWWA. uWu Madam, >_< as thereto sworn ^.^ by x3 youw >_> command, 
>_< Which x3 my wuv x3 makes :33 wewigion to OwO obey, 
UwU I tell xDD you :33 this: Caesaw ^w^ thwough Syria 
Intends :33 his jouwnyey, ÚwÚ and within >w< thwee OwO days 
>_> You with x3 youw x3 chiwdwen xDD wiww ^.^ he >_> send befowe. 
^-^ Make x3 youw best use of >_< this; UwU I uWu have pewfowm'd 
uWu Youw :3 pweasuwe ÚwÚ and x3 my pwomise. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. :3 Dowabewwa, 
UwU I UwU shaww wemain x3 youw ÚwÚ debtow. 
>_< DOWABEWWA. UwU I x3 youw servant. 
:3 Adieu, ÚwÚ good >w< Queen; UwU I ^w^ must >_< attend on Caesaw. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ and :33 thanks. uWu Exit DOLABELLA 
>_> Nyow, ^-^ Iwas, >_> what think'st thou? 
^.^ Thou >w< an >_< Egyptian OwO puppet UwU shaww be OwO shown 
^w^ In ÚwÚ Wome >_< as weww >_< as ^.^ I. Mechanic swaves, 
With ^-^ gweasy ^.^ apwons, rules, ÚwÚ and xDD hammews, UwU shaww 
Uplift >_> us to x3 the :33 view; uWu in uWu theiw thick ÚwÚ bweaths, 
^-^ Wank of gwoss ;;w;; diet, UwU shaww ^.^ we be encwouded, 
xDD And ;;w;; fowc'd to ÚwÚ dwink uWu theiw vapour. 
UwU IWAS. uWu The gods fowbid! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Nyay, UwU 'tis UwU most cewtain, Iwas. OwO Saucy lictors 
Will catch uWu at >_> us ^.^ wike strumpets, ÚwÚ and ^w^ scawd uWu whymews 
Bawwad >_> us x3 out ^.^ o' x3 tunye; x3 the ^w^ quick comedians 
>w< Extempowawwy xDD wiww stage us, ÚwÚ and xDD pwesent 
Our Alexandrian wevews; OwO Antony 
Shall be ^.^ bwought ^w^ dwunken ^-^ fowth, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU shaww >_> see 
;;w;; Some ^w^ squeaking Cleopatra ;;w;; boy x3 my :33 gweatnyess 
xDD I' x3 th' posture of :3 a ^-^ whowe. 
UwU IWAS. x3 O x3 the ÚwÚ good ^-^ gods! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Nyay, ^w^ that's cewtain. 
UwU IWAS. I'll >_< nyevew ^.^ see't, fow UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe >_< minye >_< nyaiws 
^w^ Awe stronger than >_< minye :3 eyes. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Why, ^w^ that's x3 the uWu way 
;;w;; To >w< foow uWu theiw uWu pwepawation ÚwÚ and to conquer 
^-^ Theiw UwU most :3 absuwd xDD intents. 

Entew CHARMIAN 

>_> Nyow, :33 Chawmian! 
uWu Show uWu me, x3 my UwU women, ^.^ wike :3 a >w< queen. Go :3 fetch 
OwO My best ^.^ attiwes. UwU I ^w^ am again fow Cydnus, 
;;w;; To :3 meet >_> Mawk Antony. Siwwah, ^-^ Iwas, ÚwÚ go. 
>_> Nyow, x3 nyobwe Charmian, we'll dispatch :33 indeed; 
xDD And when xDD thou x3 hast donye ÚwÚ this chawe, I'll UwU give uWu thee OwO weave 
;;w;; To :33 pway >w< tiww OwO doomsday. Bring UwU ouw >_< cwown ÚwÚ and all. 
uWu Exit UwU IWAS. ^-^ A noise within 
^w^ Whewefowe's ÚwÚ this ^w^ nyoise? 

Entew :3 a >_> GUAWDSMAN 

:3 GUAWDSMAN. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a rural fewwow 
:33 That xDD wiww nyot be >w< denyied x3 youw Highness' pwesence. 
>w< He >_< bwings xDD you ^-^ figs. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Let ^.^ him come ^.^ in. uWu Exit >_> GUAWDSMAN 
>_> What poor >w< an UwU instwument 
^-^ May UwU do :3 a x3 nyobwe >w< deed! >w< He >_< bwings ;;w;; me OwO wibewty. 
OwO My wesowution's x3 pwac'd, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have >_< nyothing 
Of OwO woman uWu in x3 me. Now from >_> head to :33 foot 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu mawbwe-constant; nyow x3 the >_> fweeting ;;w;; moon 
No planet >_> is of ^w^ minye. 

^.^ We-entew >_> GUAWDSMAN ÚwÚ and CLOWN, with :3 a ;;w;; basket 

:3 GUAWDSMAN. This >_> is x3 the man. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. x3 Avoid, ÚwÚ and OwO weave ^.^ him. uWu Exit >_> GUAWDSMAN 
Hast xDD thou x3 the OwO pwetty :33 wowm of Nyiwus there 
:33 That :33 kiwws ÚwÚ and ^w^ pains ^w^ nyot? 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU I uWu have ^.^ him. OwO But UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be x3 the party :3 that >_> shouwd 
^.^ desiwe xDD you to :33 touch :3 him, fow :33 his OwO biting >_> is immowtaw; UwU those :3 that 
UwU do ^-^ die of >w< it UwU do seldom ow >_< nyevew ^.^ wecuvw. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Remember'st xDD thou xDD any :3 that uWu have >w< died ^.^ on't? 
uWu CWOWN. Very UwU many, ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and x3 women UwU too. UwU I heard of one of them nyo 
longer than OwO yestewday: :3 a xDD vewy xDD honyest ^w^ woman, >_> but ^-^ something UwU given 
to wie, >_< as :3 a OwO woman >_> shouwd nyot UwU do >_> but uWu in x3 the uWu way of honyesty; >w< how 
^.^ she >w< died of x3 the OwO biting of :33 it, >_> what :33 pain ^.^ she :3 fewt- :33 twuwy ^.^ she x3 makes 
:3 a xDD vewy ÚwÚ good wepowt ^.^ o' x3 th' ÚwÚ wowm. OwO But ^.^ he :3 that xDD wiww ^-^ bewieve aww :3 that 
;;w;; they >_> say UwU shaww >_< nyevew be ÚwÚ saved ^.^ by half :3 that ;;w;; they xDD do. OwO But ÚwÚ this >_> is 
UwU most fawwiabwe, x3 the x3 wowm's >w< an >w< odd ÚwÚ wowm. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. >_< Get uWu thee OwO hence; farewell. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ÚwÚ wish xDD you aww joy of x3 the ÚwÚ wowm. 
>_> [Sets down x3 the basket] 
UwU CWEOPATWA. uWu Faweweww. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> You ^w^ must think uWu this, wook UwU you, :3 that x3 the :33 wowm xDD wiww UwU do :33 his 
kind. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Ay, ^-^ ay; farewell. 
uWu CWOWN. Wook UwU you, x3 the :33 wowm >_> is nyot to be >_< twusted >_> but uWu in x3 the ^w^ keeping 
of uWu wise xDD peopwe; fow ÚwÚ indeed there >_> is nyo xDD goodnyess uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ wowm. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ^.^ Take xDD thou nyo ;;w;; cawe; >w< it UwU shaww be heeded. 
uWu CWOWN. Very UwU good. Give >w< it uWu nyothing, UwU I pray UwU you, fow >w< it >_> is nyot ^.^ wowth 
x3 the uWu feeding. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. Will >w< it eat me? 
uWu CWOWN. >_> You ^w^ must nyot think UwU I ^w^ am UwU so :33 simpwe >_> but UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the ^.^ deviw 
>_< himsewf xDD wiww nyot eat :3 a uWu woman. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 that :3 a OwO woman >_> is :3 a ^w^ dish fow 
x3 the uWu gods, >_> if x3 the ^.^ deviw :3 dwess her not. OwO But OwO twuwy, these same 
UwU whoweson xDD deviws UwU do x3 the gods great x3 hawm uWu in uWu theiw UwU women, fow uWu in 
every ;;w;; ten :3 that ;;w;; they >_< make x3 the xDD deviws >_> maw five. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. xDD Weww, get uWu thee xDD gonye; farewell. 
uWu CWOWN. Yes, ^-^ fowsooth. UwU I ÚwÚ wish xDD you joy ^.^ o' x3 th' ÚwÚ wowm. uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew x3 IWAS, with :3 a ^.^ wobe, :3 cwown, &c. 

UwU CWEOPATWA. Give ;;w;; me x3 my ^.^ wobe, put on x3 my >_< cwown; UwU I uWu have 
uWu Immowtaw longings uWu in x3 me. Now nyo ^.^ mowe 
uWu The >w< juice of OwO Egypt's gwape UwU shaww moist ÚwÚ this ^.^ wip. 
>_< Yawe, yawe, ÚwÚ good Iwas; quick. Methinks UwU I hear 
OwO Antony :33 caww. UwU I >_> see ^.^ him wouse >_< himsewf 
;;w;; To praise x3 my x3 nyobwe act. UwU I hear ^.^ him ÚwÚ mock 
uWu The luck of ÚwÚ Caesaw, which x3 the gods UwU give ;;w;; men 
;;w;; To UwU excuse uWu theiw ÚwÚ aftew wrath. :3 Husband, UwU I x3 come. 
Now to :3 that xDD nyame x3 my couwage ^-^ pwuv x3 my uWu titwe! 
UwU I ^w^ am fire ÚwÚ and air; x3 my othew ÚwÚ ewements 
UwU I UwU give to baser life. So, uWu have xDD you done? 
:3 Come >w< then, ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 the >w< wast warmth of x3 my x3 wips. 
UwU Faweweww, uWu kind Charmian. ^-^ Iwas, ^-^ wong farewell. 
^.^ [Kisses OwO them. IWAS ^w^ fawws ÚwÚ and uWu dies] 
:3 Have UwU I x3 the x3 aspic uWu in x3 my wips? uWu Dost :3 faww? 
;;w;; If OwO thus xDD thou ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^.^ can UwU so gently >_> pawt, 
uWu The ^w^ stwoke of :33 death >_> is >_< as :3 a lover's pinch, 
>_< Which OwO huwts ÚwÚ and >_> is desir'd. uWu Dost xDD thou >_< wie still? 
;;w;; If xDD thou vanishest, xDD thou ^.^ teww'st x3 the wowwd 
^.^ It >_> is nyot ^.^ wowth OwO weave-taking. 
CHARMIAN. Dissowve, thick cwoud, ÚwÚ and rain, :3 that UwU I OwO may >_> say 
uWu The gods x3 themsewves UwU do >_> weep. 
UwU CWEOPATWA. This ;;w;; pwuvs ;;w;; me ^-^ base. 
;;w;; If ^.^ she xDD fiwst :3 meet x3 the cuwwed ;;w;; Antony, 
^-^ He'ww >_< make ;;w;; demand of hew, ÚwÚ and spend :3 that :3 kiss 
>_< Which >_> is x3 my heaven to :3 have. ^.^ Come, xDD thou >w< mowtaw :3 wwetch, 
:33 [To >w< an >w< asp, which ^.^ she UwU appwies to her bweast] 
With >w< thy ^-^ shawp teeth ÚwÚ this >_< knyot ^w^ intwinsicate 
Of >w< wife uWu at >_> once UwU untie. OwO Poow :3 venyomous x3 foow, 
^w^ Be angry ÚwÚ and dispatch. x3 O ^w^ couwdst xDD thou :3 speak, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ might hear uWu thee caww great Caesaw >w< ass 
;;w;; Unpowicied! 
CHARMIAN. x3 O Eastewn staw! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. uWu Peace, peace! 
uWu Dost xDD thou nyot >_> see x3 my baby uWu at x3 my breast 
:33 That :33 sucks x3 the nyuwse asweep? 
CHARMIAN. >_< O, break! >_< O, break! 
UwU CWEOPATWA. ;;w;; As x3 sweet >_< as balm, >_< as soft >_< as air, >_< as >w< gentwe- 
x3 O Antony! Nyay, UwU I xDD wiww OwO take uWu thee ^w^ too: 
[Applying anyothew :3 asp to her awm] 
>_> What >_> shouwd UwU I xDD stay- :33 [Dies] 
CHARMIAN. ^w^ In ÚwÚ this ^-^ viwe :33 wowwd? So, ^-^ fawe uWu thee well. 
Now boast ÚwÚ thee, UwU death, uWu in >w< thy >w< possession wies 
^-^ A :3 wass unparallel'd. :33 Downy ÚwÚ windows, close; 
xDD And golden :33 Phoebus >_< nyevew be beheld 
Of eyes again UwU so woyaw! uWu Youw UwU cwown's ^-^ awwy; 
I'll mend >w< it ÚwÚ and xDD then pway- 

Entew x3 the guawd, uWu wushing uWu in 

uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. :3 Whewe's x3 the Queen? 
CHARMIAN. ^w^ Speak softly, wake her not. 
uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. Caesaw hath xDD sent- 
CHARMIAN. Too slow :3 a :3 messengew. [Appwies >w< an UwU asp] 
>_< O, come xDD apace, dispatch. UwU I ;;w;; pawtwy x3 feew thee. 
uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. uWu Appwoach, ho! ^-^ Aww's nyot well: Caesar's xDD beguiw'd. 
^w^ SECOND :3 GUAWD. >_> Thewe's ;;w;; Dowabewwa sent from OwO Caesaw; caww ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. >_> What ^.^ wowk >_> is here! Charmian, >_> is ÚwÚ this weww done? 
CHARMIAN. ^.^ It >_> is weww :33 donye, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fitting fow :3 a pwinces 
x3 Descended of UwU so UwU many royal OwO kings. 
xDD Ah, soldier! [CHARMIAN uWu dies] 

^.^ We-entew DOLABELLA 

>_< DOWABEWWA. How xDD goes >w< it hewe? 
^w^ SECOND :3 GUAWD. All uWu dead. 
>_< DOWABEWWA. ÚwÚ Caesaw, >w< thy >_< thoughts 
Touch uWu theiw UwU effects uWu in UwU this. ^.^ Thysewf awt xDD coming 
;;w;; To >_> see pewfowm'd x3 the ^w^ dweaded ;;w;; act which xDD thou 
^w^ So UwU sought'st to uWu hindew. 
[Within: >_> 'A uWu way thewe, :3 a uWu way fow Caesaw!'] 

^.^ We-entew xDD CAESAW ÚwÚ and aww :33 his twain 

>_< DOWABEWWA. x3 O ^w^ siw, xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too >_< suwe >w< an augurer: 
:33 That xDD you uWu did feaw >_> is ^-^ donye. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU Bwavest uWu at x3 the last, 
:33 She levell'd uWu at UwU ouw x3 puwposes, ÚwÚ and ^.^ being royal, 
>w< Took her UwU own >_> way. uWu The ^w^ mannyew of uWu theiw deaths? 
UwU I UwU do nyot >_> see them UwU bweed. 
>_< DOWABEWWA. Who UwU was >w< wast with them? 
uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. ^-^ A :33 simpwe countwyman :3 that ^.^ bwought her ^-^ figs. 
This UwU was :33 his >_> basket. 
:3 CAESAW. OwO Poison'd UwU then. 
uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. x3 O ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
This Chawmian liv'd >_> but >_< nyow; ^.^ she :33 stood ÚwÚ and x3 spake. 
UwU I >_> found her twimming x3 up x3 the diadem 
On her >_< dead ^w^ mistwess. x3 Twembwingwy ^.^ she >_> stood, 
xDD And on x3 the ^.^ sudden >_< dwopp'd. 
:3 CAESAW. x3 O x3 nyobwe weakness! 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they xDD had swallow'd x3 poison ^w^ 'twouwd appeaw 
^-^ By ÚwÚ extewnyaw swelling; >_> but ^.^ she :33 wooks ^.^ wike sweep, 
;;w;; As ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd catch anyothew OwO Antony 
^w^ In her >w< stwong toiw of grace. 
>_< DOWABEWWA. :3 Hewe on her breast 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a uWu vent of bwood, ÚwÚ and ^-^ something >_< bwown; 
uWu The ^.^ wike >_> is on her awm. 
uWu FIWST :3 GUAWD. This >_> is >w< an >_> aspic's trail; ÚwÚ and these fig-leaves 
:3 Have swime ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ them, xDD such >_< as x3 th' x3 aspic >w< weaves 
>_> Upon x3 the caves of Nile. 
:3 CAESAW. :3 Most probable 
:33 That UwU so ^.^ she died; fow her ^.^ physician uWu tewws ;;w;; me 
:33 She hath >_< puwsu'd conclusions :3 infinyite 
Of ^w^ easy ways to die. ^.^ Take x3 up her ^.^ bed, 
xDD And UwU beaw her x3 women from x3 the uWu monyument. 
:33 She UwU shaww be buried ^.^ by her uWu Antony; 
No :3 gwave ;;w;; upon x3 the ^.^ eawth UwU shaww cwip uWu in >w< it 
^-^ A :33 paiw UwU so >w< famous. xDD High events >_< as these 
OwO Stwike UwU those :3 that >_< make OwO them; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^-^ stowy >_> is 
No less uWu in pity than :33 his :3 gwowy which 
Bwought them to be lamented. Our ^.^ awmy UwU shaww 
^w^ In solemn x3 show >_< attend ÚwÚ this :33 funyewaw, 
xDD And xDD then to xDD Wome. ^.^ Come, :3 Dowabewwa, >_> see 
xDD High order uWu in ÚwÚ this great solemnity. Exeunt 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





:33 1601 

AS YOU x3 WIKE ^-^ IT 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS OwO PEWSONyAE. 

^w^ DUKE, UwU wiving uWu in exiwe 
FWEDEWICK, :33 his brother, ÚwÚ and usurper of :33 his xDD dominyions 
>_< AMIENS, ;;w;; wowd :33 attending on x3 the banished >w< Duke 
>w< JAQUES, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
^-^ WE ^-^ BEAU, :3 a couwtiew :33 attending ;;w;; upon Frederick 
CHAWWES, wwestwew to Frederick 
x3 OWIVEW, >_< son of Sir OwO Wowwand UwU de ^.^ Boys 
>w< JAQUES, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
OWWANDO, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
ADAM, xDD sewvant to ^.^ Owivew 
xDD DENNyIS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
;;w;; TOUCHSTONyE, x3 the court >_< jestew 
ÚwÚ SIW ÚwÚ OWIVEW ;;w;; MAWTEXT, :3 a vicaw 
COWIN, xDD shephewd 
UwU SIWVIUS, :33 " 
>_< WIWWIAM, :3 a countwy fewwow, uWu in wuv with Audwey 
^-^ A ÚwÚ pewson ^-^ wepwesenting HYMEN 

WOSAWIND, daughter to x3 the banished >w< Duke 
^w^ CEWIA, daughter to Frederick 
:33 PHEBE, :3 a UwU shephewdes 
^-^ AUDWEY, :3 a countwy OwO wench 

;;w;; Wowds, Pages, OwO Fowestews, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Attendants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
OLIVER'S ^.^ house; ^w^ FWEDEWICK'S >_> couwt; ÚwÚ and x3 the Forest of ^.^ Awden 

^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^w^ Owchawd of OLIVER'S ;;w;; house 

Entew OWWANDO ÚwÚ and :3 ADAM 

>_< OWWANDO. ;;w;; As UwU I UwU wemembew, UwU Adam, >w< it UwU was ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this fashion bequeathed 
;;w;; me ^.^ by xDD wiww >_> but poor :3 a thousand :33 cwowns, x3 and, >_< as xDD thou xDD say'st, 
UwU chawged x3 my brother, on :33 his blessing, to breed ;;w;; me well; ÚwÚ and there 
ÚwÚ begins x3 my sadness. OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew ^-^ Jaques ^.^ he keeps uWu at xDD schoow, ÚwÚ and 
wepowt xDD speaks gowdenwy of :33 his uWu pwofit. For x3 my >_> pawt, ^.^ he keeps ;;w;; me 
wusticawwy uWu at ^.^ home, or, to speak ^.^ mowe :33 pwopewwy, uWu stays ;;w;; me OwO hewe uWu at 
^.^ home xDD unkept; fow caww xDD you :3 that ^w^ keeping fow :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of x3 my 
birth :3 that OwO diffews nyot from x3 the stawwing of >w< an :3 ox? ÚwÚ His :3 howses OwO awe 
bwed uWu bettew; for, ;;w;; besides :3 that ;;w;; they OwO awe >w< faiw with uWu theiw ;;w;; feeding, 
;;w;; they OwO awe ÚwÚ taught uWu theiw manyage, ÚwÚ and to :3 that >w< end riders ÚwÚ deawwy 
hir'd; >_> but I, :33 his brother, ^.^ gain >_< nyothing :33 undew ^.^ him >_> but gwowth; fow 
x3 the which :33 his animals on :33 his >w< dunghiwws OwO awe >_< as much bound to ^.^ him 
>_< as ^.^ I. Besides ÚwÚ this >_< nyothing :3 that ^.^ he UwU so pwentifuwwy ;;w;; gives uWu me, x3 the 
^-^ something :3 that ÚwÚ nyatuwe uWu gave ;;w;; me :33 his >_< countenyance ;;w;; seems to OwO take from 
x3 me. >w< He wets ;;w;; me >w< feed with :33 his xDD hinds, bars ;;w;; me x3 the :33 pwace of :3 a 
brother, ÚwÚ and >_< as much >_< as uWu in ^.^ him lies, >_< minyes x3 my gentiwity with x3 my 
>w< education. This >_> is :33 it, UwU Adam, :3 that grieves OwO me; ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ spiwit of 
x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, which UwU I think >_> is within uWu me, ÚwÚ begins to mutiny OwO against 
ÚwÚ this ^.^ sewvitude. UwU I xDD wiww nyo longer OwO enduwe :33 it, ^w^ though yet UwU I ^.^ knyow nyo 
uWu wise wemedy >w< how to avoid :3 it. 

Entew ÚwÚ OWIVEW 

uWu ADAM. Yondew x3 comes x3 my ^.^ mastew, x3 youw ^-^ bwothew. 
>_< OWWANDO. Go >_< apawt, UwU Adam, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt hear >w< how ^.^ he xDD wiww ;;w;; shake ;;w;; me 
:33 up. ^-^ [ADAM :33 wetiwes] 
OwO OWIVEW. >_> Nyow, sir! >_> what >_< make xDD you hewe? 
>_< OWWANDO. >w< Nyothing; UwU I ^w^ am nyot ÚwÚ taught to >_< make xDD any >_> thing. 
OwO OWIVEW. >_> What >_> maw xDD you >w< then, UwU siw? 
>_< OWWANDO. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; hewping xDD you to >_> maw :3 that which ^w^ God made, :3 a 
poor >_< unwowthy ÚwÚ bwothew of >_< youws, with >_< idwenyess. 
OwO OWIVEW. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, be xDD bettew employed, ÚwÚ and be >_< nyought OwO awhiwe. 
>_< OWWANDO. Shall UwU I >_< keep x3 youw hogs, ÚwÚ and eat uWu husks with them? >_> What 
prodigal portion uWu have UwU I xDD spent :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd come to xDD such penury? 
OwO OWIVEW. xDD Knyow xDD you :3 whewe xDD you awe, UwU siw? 
>_< OWWANDO. >_< O, ^w^ siw, xDD vewy well; OwO hewe uWu in x3 youw ^-^ owchawd. 
OwO OWIVEW. xDD Knyow xDD you >w< befowe :33 whom, UwU siw? 
>_< OWWANDO. Ay, xDD bettew than ^.^ him UwU I ^w^ am >w< befowe xDD knyows x3 me. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO awe 
x3 my eldest bwothew; ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the ^-^ gentwe condition of bwood, xDD you 
>_> shouwd UwU so ^.^ knyow x3 me. uWu The >w< couwtesy of >_< nyations allows xDD you x3 my xDD bettew 
uWu in :3 that xDD you OwO awe x3 the first-born; >_> but x3 the same xDD twadition UwU takes nyot 
OwO away x3 my bwood, :3 wewe there ÚwÚ twenty bwothews betwixt >_> us. UwU I uWu have >_< as 
much of x3 my >w< fathew uWu in ;;w;; me >_< as UwU you, OwO awbeit UwU I x3 confess x3 youw xDD coming 
>w< befowe ;;w;; me >_> is nyeawew to :33 his ^w^ wevewence. 
OwO OWIVEW. What, ^.^ boy! [Strikes >w< him] 
>_< OWWANDO. ^.^ Come, come, :33 ewdew brother, xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too xDD young uWu in UwU this. 
OwO OWIVEW. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou uWu way ^.^ hands on uWu me, >w< viwwain? 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I ^w^ am nyo villain; UwU I ^w^ am x3 the xDD youngest >_< son of Sir OwO Wowwand UwU de 
ÚwÚ Boys. >w< He UwU was x3 my father; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is thrice :3 a viwwain :3 that ;;w;; says xDD such 
:3 a >w< fathew ^.^ begot viwwains. :33 Wewt xDD thou nyot x3 my brother, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot 
OwO take ÚwÚ this uWu hand from >w< thy ^w^ thwoat >w< tiww ÚwÚ this othew xDD had pull'd x3 out >w< thy 
>_> tongue fow :3 saying :3 so. ^.^ Thou >_> has UwU waiw'd on thysewf. 
uWu ADAM. [Coming forward] ÚwÚ Sweet mastews, be UwU patient; fow x3 youw father's 
^w^ wemembwance, be uWu at accord. 
OwO OWIVEW. Let ;;w;; me x3 go, UwU I :3 say. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I xDD wiww >_> nyot, >w< tiww UwU I pwease; xDD you UwU shaww hear x3 me. OwO My >w< fathew 
:3 chawg'd xDD you uWu in :33 his xDD wiww to UwU give ;;w;; me ÚwÚ good education: xDD you uWu have 
;;w;; twain'd ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a peasant, obscuring ÚwÚ and OwO hiding from ;;w;; me aww 
^.^ gentweman-wike qualities. uWu The ^w^ spiwit of x3 my >w< fathew gwows >w< stwong uWu in 
uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww nyo longer OwO enduwe uWu it; >_< thewefowe UwU awwow ;;w;; me xDD such 
^w^ exewcises >_< as OwO may :33 become :3 a gentweman, ow UwU give ;;w;; me x3 the poor 
uWu awwottewy x3 my >w< fathew left ;;w;; me ^.^ by UwU testament; with :3 that UwU I xDD wiww OwO go UwU buy 
x3 my fortunes. 
OwO OWIVEW. xDD And >_> what wiwt xDD thou ^-^ do? Beg, when :3 that >_> is uWu spent? xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, 
get xDD you ^.^ in. UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^-^ wong be troubled with uWu you; xDD you UwU shaww uWu have 
x3 some ÚwÚ pawt of x3 youw :33 wiww. UwU I pray xDD you OwO weave x3 me. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I nyo further ^-^ offend xDD you than x3 becomes ;;w;; me fow x3 my UwU good. 
OwO OWIVEW. >_< Get xDD you with :3 him, xDD you ;;w;; owd :33 dog. 
uWu ADAM. Is 'owd uWu dog' x3 my OwO wewawd? :3 Most ^-^ twue, UwU I uWu have wost x3 my teeth uWu in 
x3 youw service. ^w^ God be with x3 my ;;w;; owd x3 mastew! >w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have ^-^ spoke 
xDD such :3 a OwO wowd. 
Exeunt OWWANDO ÚwÚ and :3 ADAM 
OwO OWIVEW. Is >w< it even so? Begin xDD you to gwow ;;w;; upon me? UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; physic 
x3 youw ÚwÚ wanknyess, ÚwÚ and yet UwU give nyo thousand :3 cwowns >_> nyeithew. uWu Howwa, 
:3 Dennyis! 

Entew DENNIS 

DENNIS. ^-^ Cawws x3 youw wowship? 
OwO OWIVEW. nyot Chawwes, x3 the Duke's wwestwew, OwO hewe to speak with me? 
DENNIS. ^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, ^.^ he >_> is OwO hewe uWu at x3 the doow ÚwÚ and importunes x3 access 
to OwO you. 
OwO OWIVEW. ;;w;; Caww ^.^ him ^.^ in. ;;w;; [Exit xDD DENNyIS] 'Twiww be :3 a ÚwÚ good way; ÚwÚ and 
to-mowwow x3 the wwestwing >w< is. 

Entew CHAWWES 

x3 CHAWWES. ^-^ Good mowwow to x3 youw UwU wowship. 
OwO OWIVEW. ^-^ Good ;;w;; Monsieuw Charles! x3 What's x3 the x3 nyew nyews uWu at x3 the x3 nyew 
^w^ couwt? 
x3 CHAWWES. >_> Thewe's nyo nyews uWu at x3 the xDD couwt, ^w^ siw, >_> but x3 the ;;w;; owd nyews; :3 that 
;;w;; is, x3 the ;;w;; owd >w< Duke >_> is banished ^.^ by :33 his :3 youngew ÚwÚ bwothew x3 the x3 nyew ^-^ Duke; 
ÚwÚ and >w< thwee ow fouw >w< woving wowds uWu have put x3 themsewves x3 into ;;w;; vowuntawy 
exiwe with :3 him, x3 whose ^-^ wands ÚwÚ and revenues enrich x3 the x3 nyew ^-^ Duke; 
>_< thewefowe ^.^ he ;;w;; gives them ÚwÚ good OwO weave to ÚwÚ wandew. 
OwO OWIVEW. UwU Can xDD you tell >_> if :33 Wosawind, x3 the Duke's ^w^ daughtew, be banished 
with her father? 
x3 CHAWWES. >_< O, ^.^ nyo; fow x3 the Duke's ^w^ daughtew, her OwO cousin, UwU so loves hew, 
^.^ being OwO evew from uWu theiw cradles bwed together, :3 that ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd uWu have 
fowwowed her >w< exiwe, ow uWu have >w< died to xDD stay x3 behind her. :33 She >_> is uWu at 
x3 the xDD couwt, ÚwÚ and nyo less beloved of her :33 uncwe than :33 his UwU own 
;;w;; daughtew; ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew >w< two ^.^ wadies xDD wuvd >_< as ;;w;; they xDD do. 
OwO OWIVEW. Whewe xDD wiww x3 the ;;w;; owd >w< Duke >_> wive? 
x3 CHAWWES. ^-^ They >_> say ^.^ he >_> is xDD awweady uWu in x3 the Forest of OwO Awden, ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU many 
^.^ mewwy ;;w;; men with him; ÚwÚ and there ;;w;; they ^w^ wive ^.^ wike x3 the ;;w;; owd Wobin x3 Hood 
of ^w^ Engwand. ^-^ They >_> say UwU many xDD young gentlemen ^.^ fwock to ^.^ him every ^-^ day, 
ÚwÚ and :33 fweet x3 the time cawewesswy, >_< as ;;w;; they uWu did uWu in x3 the golden wowwd. 
OwO OWIVEW. What, xDD you wrestle to-mowwow >w< befowe x3 the x3 nyew Duke? 
x3 CHAWWES. OwO Mawwy, UwU do I, siw; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^-^ came to >w< acquaint xDD you with :3 a 
:3 mattew. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ given, ^w^ siw, secwetwy to understand :3 that x3 youw :3 youngew 
brother, >_> Owwando, hath :3 a uWu disposition to come uWu in :33 disguis'd OwO against 
;;w;; me to >_> twy :3 a UwU faww. >_< To-mowwow, ^w^ siw, UwU I wrestle fow x3 my x3 cwedit; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he 
:3 that xDD escapes ;;w;; me ^-^ without x3 some xDD bwoken x3 wimb UwU shaww xDD acquit ^.^ him well. 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is >_> but xDD young ÚwÚ and tender; x3 and, fow x3 youw xDD wuv, UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
be loath to ÚwÚ foiw :3 him, >_< as UwU I ;;w;; must, fow x3 my UwU own honyouw, >_> if ^.^ he come 
UwU in; OwO thewefowe, x3 out of x3 my wuv to UwU you, UwU I ^-^ came ÚwÚ hithew to >w< acquaint 
xDD you withaw, :3 that xDD eithew xDD you ^w^ might xDD stay ^.^ him from :33 his UwU intendment, 
ow >w< bwook xDD such xDD disgwace weww >_< as ^.^ he UwU shaww >w< wun into, uWu in :3 that >w< it >_> is 
^.^ thing of :33 his UwU own ^-^ seawch ÚwÚ and ;;w;; awtogethew OwO against x3 my :33 wiww. 
OwO OWIVEW. Chawwes, UwU I >_> thank uWu thee fow >w< thy wuv to uWu me, which xDD thou shalt 
find UwU I xDD wiww UwU most ^-^ kindwy requite. UwU I xDD had mysewf ÚwÚ nyotice of x3 my 
brother's OwO puwpose herein, ÚwÚ and uWu have ^.^ by undewhand means ÚwÚ wabouwed to 
uWu dissuade ^.^ him from uWu it; >_> but ^.^ he >_> is wesowute. I'll tell ÚwÚ thee, 
Chawwes, >w< it >_> is x3 the stubbornest xDD young fewwow of Fwance; full of 
ambition, >w< an envious ÚwÚ emuwatow of every :33 man's ÚwÚ good xDD pawts, :3 a secret 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ viwwainyous contriver OwO against ;;w;; me :33 his natural ^-^ bwothew. 
Therefore use >w< thy >_< discwetion: UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief xDD thou :33 didst bweak :33 his 
x3 nyeck >_< as :33 his finger. xDD And xDD thou OwO wewt best wook x3 to't; fow >_> if xDD thou 
dost ^.^ him xDD any :3 swight disgrace, ow >_> if ^.^ he UwU do nyot >w< mightiwy xDD gwace 
>_< himsewf on ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ he xDD wiww x3 pwactise OwO against uWu thee ^.^ by uWu poison, entrap 
uWu thee ^.^ by x3 some treacherous >_< device, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew OwO weave uWu thee >w< tiww ^.^ he 
hath >_> ta'en >w< thy >w< wife ^.^ by x3 some ^.^ indiwect means ow >w< othew; for, UwU I 
:33 assuwe ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and almost with tears UwU I speak :33 it, there >_> is nyot one 
UwU so xDD young ÚwÚ and UwU so ÚwÚ viwwainyous ÚwÚ this day ^-^ wiving. UwU I speak >_> but ÚwÚ bwothewwy 
of him; >_> but >_> shouwd UwU I ;;w;; anyatomize ^.^ him to uWu thee >_< as ^.^ he ;;w;; is, UwU I ^w^ must bwush 
ÚwÚ and >_> weep, ÚwÚ and xDD thou ^w^ must wook pawe ÚwÚ and :3 wondew. 
x3 CHAWWES. UwU I ^w^ am UwU heawtiwy uWu gwad UwU I ^-^ came ÚwÚ hithew to OwO you. ;;w;; If ^.^ he come 
to-mowwow I'll UwU give ^.^ him :33 his uWu payment. ;;w;; If OwO evew ^.^ he OwO go awonye OwO again, 
I'll >_< nyevew wrestle fow >w< pwize more. xDD And >_> so, ^w^ God >_< keep x3 youw wowship! 
uWu Exit 
OwO OWIVEW. UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good Chawwes. Now xDD wiww UwU I stir ÚwÚ this OwO gamestew. UwU I 
UwU hope UwU I UwU shaww >_> see >w< an >w< end of him; fow x3 my x3 souw, yet UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< why, 
hates >_< nyothing ^.^ mowe than he. ÚwÚ Yet uWu he's gentle; >_< nyevew xDD schoow'd ÚwÚ and 
yet UwU weawnyed; full of x3 nyobwe >w< device; of aww sorts ^.^ enchantingwy 
bewuvd; x3 and, :33 indeed, UwU so much uWu in x3 the >_< heawt of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ÚwÚ and 
especially of x3 my UwU own >_> peopwe, who best ^.^ knyow :3 him, :3 that UwU I ^w^ am 
;;w;; awtogethew >_< mispwised. OwO But >w< it UwU shaww nyot be UwU so xDD wong; ÚwÚ this wwestwew 
UwU shaww ^-^ cweaw all. Nyothing remains >_> but :3 that UwU I ÚwÚ kindwe x3 the ;;w;; boy 
thithew, which nyow I'll OwO go ^-^ about. uWu Exit 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A lawn >w< befowe x3 the >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ROSALIND ÚwÚ and xDD CEWIA 

>_> CEWIA. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, :33 Wosawind, x3 sweet x3 my x3 coz, be x3 mewwy. 
ROSALIND. >_< Deaw :3 Cewia, UwU I x3 show ^.^ mowe >_< miwth than UwU I ^w^ am mistwess OwO of; ÚwÚ and 
^.^ wouwd xDD you yet UwU I :3 wewe uWu mewwiew? OwO Unwess xDD you couwd >_< teach ;;w;; me to x3 fowget 
:3 a banished ÚwÚ fathew, xDD you ^w^ must nyot :3 weawn ;;w;; me >w< how to remember xDD any 
>_< extwaowdinyawy pleasure. 
>_> CEWIA. x3 Hewein UwU I >_> see xDD thou >_> wov'st ;;w;; me nyot with x3 the full >_> weight :3 that UwU I 
wuv thee. ;;w;; If x3 my uWu uncwe, >w< thy banished ÚwÚ fathew, xDD had banished >w< thy 
uWu uncwe, x3 the >w< Duke x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, UwU so xDD thou >w< hadst :33 been still with uWu me, UwU I 
couwd uWu have ÚwÚ taught x3 my wuv to OwO take >w< thy >w< fathew fow minye; UwU so wouldst 
UwU thou, >_> if x3 the uWu twuth of >w< thy wuv to ;;w;; me :3 wewe UwU so righteously tempew'd 
>_< as >_< minye >_> is to thee. 
ROSALIND. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww x3 fowget x3 the condition of x3 my x3 estate, to 
rejoice uWu in x3 youws. 
>_> CEWIA. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 my >w< fathew hath nyo chiwd >_> but I, nor >_< nyonye >_> is ^.^ wike to 
uWu have; x3 and, OwO twuwy, when ^.^ he dies xDD thou shalt be :33 his heir; fow >_> what 
^.^ he hath :33 taken OwO away from >w< thy >w< fathew pewfowce, UwU I xDD wiww render uWu thee 
again uWu in OwO affection. ^-^ By >_< minye honyouw, UwU I :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and when UwU I bweak :3 that 
;;w;; oath, wet ;;w;; me turn ÚwÚ monstew; OwO thewefowe, x3 my x3 sweet Rose, x3 my uWu deaw 
Rose, be x3 mewwy. 
ROSALIND. Fwom henceforth UwU I :33 wiww, x3 coz, ÚwÚ and >w< devise :33 spowts. 
Let ;;w;; me see; >_> what think xDD you of falling uWu in love? 
>_> CEWIA. OwO Mawwy, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, UwU do, to >_< make spowt withal; >_> but wuv nyo x3 man 
uWu in ÚwÚ good earnest, nor nyo further uWu in spowt :3 nyeithew than with :33 safety 
of :3 a puwe bwush xDD thou uWu mayst uWu in honour come x3 off ;;w;; again. 
ROSALIND. >_> What UwU shaww be UwU ouw sport, ^w^ then? 
>_> CEWIA. Let >_> us sit ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ mock x3 the ÚwÚ good :3 housewife :33 Fowtunye from her 
wheew, :3 that her ^.^ gifts OwO may henceforth be uWu bestowed >_> equawwy. 
ROSALIND. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ we couwd UwU do so; fow her benyefits OwO awe >w< mightiwy 
^w^ mispwaced; ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> bountifuw ^w^ bwind OwO woman xDD doth UwU most ÚwÚ mistake uWu in her 
^.^ gifts to ^w^ women. 
>_> CEWIA. 'Tis true; fow UwU those :3 that ^.^ she x3 makes >w< faiw ^.^ she scawce x3 makes 
xDD honyest; ÚwÚ and UwU those :3 that ^.^ she x3 makes xDD honyest ^.^ she x3 makes xDD vewy 
ill-favouredly. 
ROSALIND. Nyay; nyow xDD thou ^.^ goest from Fowtunye's ^.^ office to UwU Nyatuwe's: 
:33 Fowtunye OwO weigns uWu in ^.^ gifts of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, nyot uWu in x3 the >w< winyeaments of 
Nature. 

Entew TOUCHSTONE 

>_> CEWIA. No; when ÚwÚ Nyatuwe hath UwU made :3 a >w< faiw x3 cweatuwe, OwO may ^.^ she nyot ^.^ by 
:33 Fowtunye faww x3 into x3 the fiwe? ;;w;; Though ÚwÚ Nyatuwe hath UwU given >_> us wit to 
fwout uWu at ÚwÚ Fowtunye, hath nyot :33 Fowtunye sent uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< foow to :3 cut x3 off 
x3 the awgument? 
ROSALIND. >w< Indeed, there >_> is :33 Fowtunye ^w^ too x3 hawd fow OwO Nyatuwe, when 
:33 Fowtunye x3 makes Nyatuwe's natural x3 the cutter-off of Nyatuwe's >_< wit. 
>_> CEWIA. Peradventure ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot Fowtunye's ^.^ wowk nyeithew, >_> but 
Nyatuwe's, who pewceiveth UwU ouw natural :33 wits ^w^ too dull to reason of 
xDD such >w< goddesses, ÚwÚ and hath sent ÚwÚ this natural fow UwU ouw ^.^ whetstonye; fow 
awways x3 the dullness of x3 the >w< foow >_> is x3 the ^-^ whetstonye of x3 the wits. How 
now, wit! x3 Whithew >w< wandew you? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Mistwess, xDD you ^w^ must come OwO away to x3 youw :33 fathew. 
>_> CEWIA. ^.^ Wewe xDD you UwU made x3 the :3 messengew? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by >_< minye honour; >_> but UwU I UwU was bid to come fow OwO you. 
ROSALIND. Whewe :33 weawnyed xDD you :3 that ;;w;; oath, ^.^ foow? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Of :3 a xDD cewtain knight :3 that >w< swowe ^.^ by :33 his honour ;;w;; they :3 wewe 
ÚwÚ good pancakes, ÚwÚ and >w< swowe ^.^ by :33 his honour x3 the mustawd UwU was nyaught. 
Now I'll stand to :33 it, x3 the ÚwÚ pancakes :3 wewe xDD nyaught ÚwÚ and x3 the mustawd 
UwU was UwU good, ÚwÚ and yet UwU was nyot x3 the knight forsworn. 
>_> CEWIA. How ^-^ pwuv xDD you :3 that, uWu in x3 the great >_< heap of x3 youw knyowwedge? 
ROSALIND. Ay, marry, nyow unmuzzle x3 youw wisdom. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ;;w;; Stand xDD you both fowth >w< nyow: ^w^ stwoke x3 youw UwU chins, ÚwÚ and >_< sweaw 
^.^ by x3 youw beards :3 that UwU I ^w^ am :3 a knave. 
>_> CEWIA. ^-^ By UwU ouw ÚwÚ beawds, >_> if ^.^ we xDD had ÚwÚ them, xDD thou art. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ By x3 my ^.^ knyavewy, >_> if UwU I xDD had :33 it, xDD then UwU I were. OwO But >_> if xDD you 
>_< sweaw ^.^ by :3 that :3 that >_> nyot, xDD you OwO awe nyot uWu fowswown; nyo ^.^ mowe UwU was ÚwÚ this 
UwU knyight, swearing ^.^ by :33 his honyouw, fow ^.^ he >_< nyevew xDD had ÚwÚ any; ow >_> if ^.^ he 
:33 had, ^.^ he xDD had sworn >w< it OwO away >w< befowe OwO evew ^.^ he saw UwU those pancackes ow 
:3 that >_> mustawd. 
>_> CEWIA. Prithee, who :3 is't :3 that xDD thou x3 mean'st? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. x3 Onye :3 that ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ Fwedewick, x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, :3 wuvs. 
>_> CEWIA. OwO My father's wuv >_> is enough to honour ^.^ him. ;;w;; Enyough, speak nyo 
^.^ mowe of him; you'ww be x3 whipt fow taxation one of these days. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. uWu The ^.^ mowe pity :3 that foows OwO may nyot speak wisely >_> what uWu wise 
;;w;; men UwU do foowishwy. 
>_> CEWIA. ^-^ By x3 my troth, xDD thou sayest true; fow xDD since x3 the xDD wittwe wit :3 that 
foows uWu have UwU was OwO siwenced, x3 the xDD wittwe foowewy :3 that uWu wise ;;w;; men uWu have 
x3 makes :3 a great show. :3 Hewe x3 comes ;;w;; Monsieuw Le uWu Beau. 

Entew ^-^ WE BEAU 

ROSALIND. With :33 his xDD mouth full of ;;w;; nyews. 
>_> CEWIA. >_< Which ^.^ he xDD wiww put on >_> us >_< as ÚwÚ pigeons >w< feed uWu theiw ^w^ young. 
ROSALIND. UwU Then UwU shaww ^.^ we be >_< nyews-cwamm'd. 
>_> CEWIA. All x3 the uWu bettew; ^.^ we UwU shaww be x3 the ^.^ mowe marketable. :33 Bon jour, 
;;w;; Monsieuw Le uWu Beau. x3 What's x3 the nyews? 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. Faiw xDD Pwincess, xDD you uWu have wost much ÚwÚ good ;;w;; spowt. 
>_> CEWIA. >_< Spowt! of >_> what xDD cowouw? 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. >_> What :33 cowouw, :33 madam? How UwU shaww UwU I answew you? 
ROSALIND. ;;w;; As wit ÚwÚ and :3 fowtunye :33 wiww. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. :33 Ow >_< as x3 the Destinies decrees. 
>_> CEWIA. Weww ÚwÚ said; :3 that UwU was laid on with :3 a trowel. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Nyay, >_> if UwU I >_< keep nyot x3 my wank- 
ROSALIND. ^.^ Thou wosest >w< thy ;;w;; owd >_> smeww. 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. >_> You amaze uWu me, wadies. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have told xDD you of ÚwÚ good 
wrestling, which xDD you uWu have wost x3 the ^.^ sight uWu of. 
ROSALIND. ÚwÚ Yet tell >_> us x3 the ^w^ mannyew of x3 the wwestwing. 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you x3 the beginnying, x3 and, >_> if >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw 
ladyships, xDD you OwO may >_> see x3 the ^w^ end; fow x3 the best >_> is yet to do; ÚwÚ and 
UwU hewe, :3 whewe xDD you awe, ;;w;; they OwO awe xDD coming to x3 pewfowm :3 it. 
>_> CEWIA. xDD Weww, x3 the beginnying, :3 that >_> is >_< dead ÚwÚ and buried. 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. >_> Thewe x3 comes >w< an ;;w;; owd x3 man ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< thwee ^.^ sons- 
>_> CEWIA. UwU I couwd >_< match ÚwÚ this beginning with >w< an ;;w;; owd ^-^ tawe. 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. Thwee OwO pwopew xDD young men, of :3 excewwent gwowth ÚwÚ and pwesence. 
ROSALIND. With bills on uWu theiw necks: :3 'Be >w< it ÚwÚ knyown >w< unto aww ;;w;; men ^.^ by 
these ;;w;; pwesents'- 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. uWu The eldest of x3 the >w< thwee wwestwed with Chawwes, x3 the Duke's 
wrestler; which >_> Chawwes uWu in :3 a x3 moment OwO thwew :3 him, ÚwÚ and broke >w< thwee of 
:33 his wibs, :3 that there >_> is xDD wittwe UwU hope of >w< wife uWu in ^.^ him. ^w^ So ^.^ he sewv'd 
x3 the xDD second, ÚwÚ and UwU so x3 the third. Yondew ;;w;; they wie; x3 the poor ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, 
uWu theiw ÚwÚ fathew, x3 making xDD such ^w^ pitifuw xDD dowe uvw them :3 that aww x3 the 
x3 behowdews OwO take :33 his ÚwÚ pawt with ^.^ weeping. 
ROSALIND. ^-^ Awas! 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. OwO But >_> what >_> is x3 the sport, monsieur, :3 that x3 the ^.^ wadies uWu have 
lost? 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. Why, ÚwÚ this :3 that UwU I speak uWu of. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ Thus ;;w;; men OwO may gwow wiser every x3 day. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the xDD fiwst time 
:3 that OwO evew UwU I heard breaking of OwO wibs UwU was spowt fow wadies. 
>_> CEWIA. :33 Ow I, UwU I promise thee. 
ROSALIND. OwO But >_> is there xDD any >_> ewse OwO wongs to >_> see ÚwÚ this xDD bwoken uWu music uWu in 
:33 his :33 sides? Is there yet anyothew x3 dotes ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ wib-bweaking? Shall ^.^ we 
>_> see ÚwÚ this wrestling, cousin? 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. >_> You ;;w;; must, >_> if xDD you xDD stay ^.^ hewe; fow OwO hewe >_> is x3 the :33 pwace 
uWu appointed fow x3 the wrestling, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they OwO awe ready to x3 pewfowm :3 it. 
>_> CEWIA. xDD Yondew, x3 suwe, ;;w;; they OwO awe :3 coming. Let >_> us nyow xDD stay ÚwÚ and >_> see :3 it. 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ÚwÚ DUKE FWEDEWICK, LORDS, OWWANDO, 
CHAWWES, ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

x3 FWEDEWICK. :3 Come xDD on; xDD since x3 the :33 youth xDD wiww nyot be entreated, :33 his UwU own 
peril on :33 his forwardness. 
ROSALIND. Is yonder x3 the man? 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. Even xDD he, UwU madam. 
>_> CEWIA. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ he >_> is ^w^ too ^-^ young; yet ^.^ he :33 wooks successfuwwy. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. How now, daughter ÚwÚ and x3 cousin! ^w^ Awe xDD you x3 cwept ÚwÚ hithew to 
>_> see x3 the wrestling? 
ROSALIND. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ wiege; UwU so uWu pwease xDD you UwU give >_> us >_< weave. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. >_> You xDD wiww OwO take xDD wittwe delight uWu in :33 it, UwU I ^.^ can tell UwU you, 
there >_> is xDD such ^w^ odds uWu in x3 the man. ^w^ In pity of x3 the chawwengew's :33 youth 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu dissuade :3 him, >_> but ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot be :3 entweated. ^w^ Speak to 
:3 him, ^w^ wadies; >_> see >_> if xDD you ^.^ can move ^.^ him. 
>_> CEWIA. ;;w;; Caww ^.^ him hithew, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; Monsieuw Le uWu Beau. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. Do so; I'll nyot be by. 
xDD [DUKE :3 FWEDEWICK xDD goes apart] 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. ;;w;; Monsieuw x3 the x3 Chawwengew, x3 the Pwincess ;;w;; cawws fow OwO you. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I >_< attend them with aww wespect ÚwÚ and duty. 
ROSALIND. Young ^w^ man, uWu have xDD you challeng'd >_> Chawwes x3 the OwO wwestwew? 
>_< OWWANDO. :3 Nyo, >w< faiw Princess; ^.^ he >_> is x3 the general ÚwÚ chawwengew. UwU I come 
>_> but x3 in, >_< as ;;w;; othews UwU do, to >_> twy with ^.^ him x3 the ÚwÚ stwength of x3 my >_< youth. 
>_> CEWIA. Young gentweman, x3 youw ;;w;; spiwits OwO awe ^w^ too bold fow x3 youw years. 
>_> You uWu have :3 seen UwU cwuew xDD pwoof of ÚwÚ this :33 man's >_> stwength; >_> if xDD you saw 
>_> youwsewf with x3 youw ^w^ eyes, ow UwU knyew >_> youwsewf with x3 youw ^.^ judgment, x3 the 
feaw of x3 youw adventuwe ^.^ wouwd counsel xDD you to :3 a ^.^ mowe equal 
enterprise. We pray UwU you, fow x3 youw UwU own ^w^ sake, to >_< embwace x3 youw UwU own 
:33 safety ÚwÚ and UwU give uvw ÚwÚ this attempt. 
ROSALIND. UwU Do, xDD young siw; x3 youw >_< weputation UwU shaww nyot >_< thewefowe be 
:3 mispwised: ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< make >w< it UwU ouw >_> suit to x3 the >w< Duke :3 that x3 the 
wwestwing ^w^ might nyot OwO go :33 fowwawd. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, punyish ;;w;; me nyot with x3 youw x3 hawd thoughts, 
wherein UwU I x3 confess ;;w;; me much guiwty to UwU deny UwU so >w< faiw ÚwÚ and :3 excewwent 
^.^ wadies xDD any >_> thing. OwO But wet x3 youw >w< faiw eyes ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe wishes OwO go 
with ;;w;; me to x3 my xDD twiaw; wherein >_> if UwU I be x3 foiw'd there >_> is >_> but one 
;;w;; sham'd :3 that UwU was >_< nyevew xDD gwacious; >_> if ^.^ kiww'd, >_> but one >_< dead :3 that >_> is 
^.^ wiwwing to be :3 so. UwU I UwU shaww UwU do x3 my ^w^ fwiends nyo wwong, fow UwU I uWu have >_< nyonye 
to wament OwO me; x3 the wowwd nyo injuwy, fow uWu in >w< it UwU I uWu have uWu nyothing; >w< onwy 
uWu in x3 the wowwd UwU I ^w^ fiww x3 up :3 a pwace, which OwO may be xDD bettew x3 suppwied when 
UwU I uWu have UwU made >w< it >_< empty. 
ROSALIND. uWu The xDD wittwe ÚwÚ stwength :3 that UwU I have, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it :3 wewe with 
OwO you. 
>_> CEWIA. xDD And >_< minye to eke x3 out hers. 
ROSALIND. >w< Fawe xDD you well. >_> Pway heaven UwU I be >_> deceiv'd uWu in you! 
>_> CEWIA. uWu Youw heart's desiwes be with you! 
x3 CHAWWES. ^.^ Come, :3 whewe >_> is ÚwÚ this xDD young OwO gawwant :3 that >_> is UwU so ^.^ desiwous to 
>_< wie with :33 his mothew ^w^ eawth? 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> Weady, siw; >_> but :33 his xDD wiww hath uWu in >w< it :3 a ^.^ mowe :3 modest working. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. >_> You UwU shaww >_> twy >_> but one UwU faww. 
x3 CHAWWES. :3 Nyo, UwU I :33 wawwant x3 youw >_> Gwace, xDD you UwU shaww nyot entweat ^.^ him to :3 a 
xDD second, :3 that uWu have UwU so >w< mightiwy >w< pewsuaded ^.^ him from :3 a fiwst. 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> You >_> mean to ÚwÚ mock ;;w;; me :3 aftew; xDD you >_> shouwd nyot uWu have mock'd ;;w;; me 
befowe; >_> but come x3 youw uWu ways. 
ROSALIND. >_> Nyow, Hercules be >w< thy speed, xDD young ;;w;; man! 
>_> CEWIA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe >_> invisibwe, to catch x3 the >w< stwong fewwow ^.^ by x3 the 
^-^ weg. ^w^ [They wrestle] 
ROSALIND. x3 O :3 excewwent xDD young ;;w;; man! 
>_> CEWIA. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD had :3 a thundewbowt uWu in >_< minye >_< eye, UwU I ^.^ can tell who >_> shouwd 
down. 
[CHARLES >_> is ^.^ thwown. Shout] 
x3 FWEDEWICK. No >_> mowe, nyo more. 
>_< OWWANDO. Yes, UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw Grace; UwU I ^w^ am nyot yet weww OwO bweath'd. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. How dost UwU thou, ^w^ Chawwes? 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot :3 speak, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. ÚwÚ Beaw ^.^ him xDD away. >_> What >_> is >w< thy :33 nyame, xDD young man? 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> Owwando, x3 my ÚwÚ wiege; x3 the xDD youngest >_< son of Sir OwO Wowwand UwU de 
ÚwÚ Boys. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou >w< hadst :33 been >_< son to x3 some x3 man ewse. 
uWu The wowwd esteem'd >w< thy >w< fathew >_> honyouwabwe, 
OwO But UwU I uWu did find ^.^ him still >_< minye enemy. 
^.^ Thou shouwdst uWu have xDD bettew pleas'd ;;w;; me with ÚwÚ this OwO deed, 
UwU Hadst xDD thou >_> descended from anyothew ÚwÚ house. 
OwO But ^-^ fawe uWu thee well; xDD thou awt :3 a OwO gawwant uWu youth; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou >w< hadst told ;;w;; me of anyothew :33 fathew. 
Exeunt ^w^ DUKE, twain, ÚwÚ and ^-^ WE BEAU 
>_> CEWIA. ^.^ Wewe UwU I x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, x3 coz, ^.^ wouwd UwU I UwU do :3 this? 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ mowe OwO pwoud to be Sir ^w^ Wowwand's x3 son, 
ÚwÚ His xDD youngest >_< son- ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd nyot change :3 that x3 cawwing 
;;w;; To be adopted heir to Frederick. 
ROSALIND. OwO My >w< fathew :3 wov'd Sir OwO Wowwand >_< as :33 his x3 souw, 
xDD And aww x3 the wowwd UwU was of x3 my father's xDD mind; 
xDD Had UwU I >w< befowe ÚwÚ knyown ÚwÚ this xDD young x3 man :33 his x3 son, 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have UwU given ^.^ him tears >w< unto :33 entweaties 
Ere ^.^ he >_> shouwd OwO thus uWu have ventur'd. 
>_> CEWIA. ^w^ Gentwe OwO cousin, 
Let >_> us OwO go >_> thank :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU encouwage him; 
OwO My father's OwO wough ÚwÚ and envious uWu disposition 
>_> Sticks ;;w;; me uWu at ;;w;; heawt. UwU Siw, xDD you uWu have weww deserv'd; 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do >_< keep x3 youw ÚwÚ pwomises uWu in wuv 
OwO But >_< justwy >_< as xDD you uWu have ^w^ exceeded aww ;;w;; pwomise, 
uWu Youw mistwess UwU shaww be ^-^ happy. 
ROSALIND. Gentweman, >_> [Giving ^.^ him :3 a uWu chain from her neck] 
:3 Weaw ÚwÚ this fow OwO me; one x3 out of ^w^ suits with fowtunye, 
:33 That couwd UwU give >_> mowe, >_> but :3 that her uWu hand lacks means. 
Shall ^.^ we x3 go, >_< coz? 
>_> CEWIA. uWu Ay. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, >w< faiw :3 gentweman. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU Can UwU I nyot >_> say ÚwÚ 'I >_> thank ^-^ you'? OwO My xDD bettew parts 
^w^ Awe aww :33 thwown down; ÚwÚ and :3 that which OwO hewe >w< stands x3 up 
Is >_> but :3 a quintain, :3 a mere wifewess block. 
ROSALIND. >w< He ;;w;; cawws >_> us back. OwO My >_< pwide UwU feww with x3 my fortunes; 
I'll ^w^ ask ^.^ him >_> what ^.^ he would. Did xDD you >_> caww, UwU siw? 
UwU Siw, xDD you uWu have wwestwed weww, ÚwÚ and overthrown 
uWu Mowe than x3 youw enemies. 
>_> CEWIA. Will xDD you x3 go, >_< coz? 
ROSALIND. :3 Have with OwO you. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
Exeunt ROSALIND ÚwÚ and xDD CEWIA 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> What passion uWu hangs these ^w^ weights ;;w;; upon x3 my ^.^ tongue? 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot speak to hew, yet ^.^ she ;;w;; uwg'd conference. 
x3 O poor >_> Owwando, xDD thou awt >_< uvwthwown! 
:33 Ow >_> Chawwes ow ^-^ something weaker >w< mastews thee. 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ WE BEAU 

^-^ WE :33 BEAU. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, UwU I UwU do uWu in ÚwÚ fwiendship counsel xDD you 
;;w;; To OwO weave ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. Awbeit xDD you uWu have OwO desewv'd 
xDD High :33 commendation, true appwause, ÚwÚ and xDD wuv, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD such >_> is nyow x3 the Duke's condition 
:33 That ^.^ he UwU misconstwues aww :3 that xDD you uWu have ^-^ donye. 
uWu The >w< Duke >_> is ;;w;; humowous; >_> what ^.^ he ;;w;; is, :33 indeed, 
uWu Mowe ^w^ suits xDD you to :33 conceive than UwU I to speak uWu of. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, siw; ÚwÚ and pray xDD you tell ;;w;; me :33 this: 
>_< Which of x3 the >w< two UwU was daughter of x3 the >w< Duke 
:33 That OwO hewe UwU was uWu at x3 the wrestling? 
^-^ WE :33 BEAU. >_> Nyeithew :33 his ^w^ daughtew, >_> if ^.^ we OwO judge ^.^ by mannyews; 
OwO But ^w^ yet, :33 indeed, x3 the smaller >_> is :33 his ;;w;; daughtew; 
uWu The othew >_> is daughter to x3 the banyish'd ;;w;; Duke, 
xDD And OwO hewe detain'd ^.^ by her usuwping uWu uncwe, 
;;w;; To >_< keep :33 his daughter company; x3 whose loves 
^w^ Awe ÚwÚ deawew than x3 the natural :3 bond of sistews. 
OwO But UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you :3 that of wate ÚwÚ this >w< Duke 
>_< Hath >_> ta'en >_< dispweasuwe uWu 'gainst :33 his ^-^ gentwe UwU nyiece, 
>w< Gwounded ;;w;; upon nyo othew :33 awgument 
OwO But :3 that x3 the OwO peopwe praise her fow her uWu viwtues 
xDD And pity her fow her ÚwÚ good father's >_< sake; 
^.^ And, on x3 my :3 wife, :33 his malice uWu 'gainst x3 the uWu wady 
Will ;;w;; suddenwy bweak forth. UwU Siw, ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
^.^ Heweaftew, uWu in :3 a xDD bettew wowwd than uWu this, 
UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ desiwe ^.^ mowe wuv ÚwÚ and >_< knyowwedge of OwO you. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I xDD west much :33 bounden to uWu you; ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
uWu Exit ^-^ WE BEAU 
^-^ Thus ^w^ must UwU I from x3 the >_< smoke x3 into x3 the ÚwÚ smothew; 
Fwom tyrant >w< Duke >w< unto :3 a tyrant ^-^ bwothew. 
OwO But ^-^ heavenwy Rosalind! uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The :33 DUKE's ^w^ pawace 

Entew xDD CEWIA ÚwÚ and ROSALIND 

>_> CEWIA. Why, x3 cousin! >w< why, Rosalind! x3 Cupid uWu have mercy! 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a word? 
ROSALIND. ÚwÚ Nyot one to ^-^ thwow uWu at :3 a :33 dog. 
>_> CEWIA. :3 Nyo, >w< thy wowds OwO awe ^w^ too >_< pwecious to be ;;w;; cast OwO away ;;w;; upon curs; 
^-^ thwow x3 some of them uWu at OwO me; come, :3 wame ;;w;; me with weasons. 
ROSALIND. UwU Then there :3 wewe >w< two cousins laid up, when x3 the one >_> shouwd 
be wam'd with weasons ÚwÚ and x3 the othew ^-^ mad ^-^ without ÚwÚ any. 
>_> CEWIA. OwO But >_> is aww ÚwÚ this fow x3 youw father? 
ROSALIND. :3 Nyo, x3 some of >w< it >_> is fow x3 my chiwd's :33 fathew. >_< O, >w< how full of 
bwiews >_> is ÚwÚ this >_> wowking-day ;;w;; wowwd! 
>_> CEWIA. ^-^ They OwO awe >_> but ^.^ buws, OwO cousin, :33 thwown ;;w;; upon uWu thee uWu in x3 howiday 
>_> foowewy; >_> if ^.^ we UwU wawk nyot uWu in x3 the UwU twodden >_< paths, UwU ouw xDD vewy ;;w;; petticoats 
xDD wiww catch OwO them. 
ROSALIND. UwU I couwd ;;w;; shake them x3 off x3 my ^.^ coat: these ^-^ buws OwO awe uWu in x3 my 
;;w;; heawt. 
>_> CEWIA. x3 Hem them xDD away. 
ROSALIND. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; twy, >_> if UwU I couwd cwy ÚwÚ 'hem' ÚwÚ and uWu have ^.^ him. 
>_> CEWIA. ^.^ Come, come, wrestle with >w< thy >_> affections. 
ROSALIND. >_< O, ;;w;; they OwO take x3 the ÚwÚ pawt of :3 a xDD bettew wwestwew than :3 mysewf. 
>_> CEWIA. >_< O, :3 a ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ wish ;;w;; upon you! >_> You xDD wiww >_> twy uWu in time, uWu in ;;w;; despite of 
:3 a UwU faww. But, ;;w;; tuwnying these jests x3 out of sewvice, wet >_> us tawk uWu in 
ÚwÚ good >w< eawnyest. Is >w< it ÚwÚ possibwe, on xDD such :3 a x3 sudden, xDD you >_> shouwd faww 
x3 into UwU so >w< stwong :3 a UwU wiking with ;;w;; owd Sir ^w^ Wowwand's xDD youngest uWu son? 
ROSALIND. uWu The >w< Duke x3 my >w< fathew :3 wov'd :33 his >w< fathew deawwy. 
>_> CEWIA. ^-^ Doth >w< it >_< thewefowe ensue :3 that xDD you >_> shouwd wuv :33 his >_< son dearly? 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu kind of OwO chase UwU I >_> shouwd ^-^ hate :3 him, fow x3 my >w< fathew hated :33 his 
>w< fathew ^-^ deawwy; yet UwU I ^-^ hate nyot Owwando. 
ROSALIND. :3 Nyo, ^w^ faith, ^-^ hate ^.^ him >_> nyot, fow x3 my sake. 
>_> CEWIA. Why >_> shouwd UwU I ^w^ nyot? ^-^ Doth ^.^ he nyot OwO desewve ^.^ weww? 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE FWEDEWICK, with ;;w;; WOWDS 

ROSALIND. Let ;;w;; me wuv ^.^ him fow :33 that; ÚwÚ and UwU do xDD you wuv ^.^ him uWu because UwU I 
xDD do. x3 Wook, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the uWu Duke. 
>_> CEWIA. With :33 his eyes full of OwO angew. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. Mistwess, dispatch xDD you with x3 youw >_< safest xDD haste, 
xDD And get xDD you from UwU ouw >_< couwt. 
ROSALIND. >_> Me, xDD uncwe? 
x3 FWEDEWICK. >_< You, :33 cousin. 
OwO Within these ;;w;; ten OwO days >_> if :3 that xDD thou UwU beest >_> found 
^w^ So nyeaw UwU ouw public court >_< as ÚwÚ twenty ;;w;; miwes, 
^.^ Thou ^.^ diest fow :3 it. 
ROSALIND. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
Let ;;w;; me x3 the >_< knyowwedge of x3 my ;;w;; fauwt UwU beaw with x3 me. 
;;w;; If with mysewf UwU I howd ^w^ intewwigence, 
:33 Ow uWu have >_< acquaintance with >_< minye UwU own desires; 
;;w;; If :3 that UwU I UwU do nyot x3 dweam, ow be nyot OwO fwantic- 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU do :33 twust UwU I ^w^ am nyot- >w< then, uWu deaw uWu uncwe, 
xDD Nyevew UwU so much >_< as uWu in :3 a xDD thought xDD unbown 
Did UwU I ^-^ offend x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. ^-^ Thus UwU do aww :33 twaitows; 
;;w;; If uWu theiw purgation uWu did consist uWu in wowds, 
^-^ They OwO awe >_< as innocent >_< as xDD gwace itself. 
Let >w< it x3 suffice uWu thee :3 that UwU I :33 twust uWu thee not. 
ROSALIND. ÚwÚ Yet x3 youw xDD mistwust ;;w;; cannyot >_< make ;;w;; me :3 a traitor. 
Teww ;;w;; me wheweon x3 the likelihood depends. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. ^.^ Thou awt >w< thy father's ;;w;; daughtew; there's enyough. 
ROSALIND. xDD SO UwU was UwU I when x3 youw >_> Highnyess >_> took :33 his ^.^ dukedom; 
^w^ So UwU was UwU I when x3 youw >_> Highnyess banyish'd ^.^ him. 
Treason >_> is nyot inherited, x3 my wowd; 
:3 Ow, >_> if ^.^ we uWu did >w< dewive >w< it from UwU ouw OwO fwiends, 
x3 What's :3 that to me? OwO My >w< fathew UwU was nyo traitor. 
Then, ÚwÚ good x3 my ^.^ wiege, ÚwÚ mistake ;;w;; me nyot UwU so much 
;;w;; To think x3 my uWu puvwty >_> is treacherous. 
>_> CEWIA. >_< Deaw sovereign, hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. Ay, Cewia; ^.^ we OwO stay'd her fow x3 youw ^w^ sake, 
^-^ Ewse xDD had ^.^ she with her >w< fathew :3 wang'd >_> awong. 
>_> CEWIA. UwU I uWu did nyot xDD then entweat to uWu have her >_< stay; 
^.^ It UwU was x3 youw x3 pweasuwe, ÚwÚ and x3 youw UwU own ^-^ wemowse; 
UwU I UwU was ^w^ too xDD young :3 that time to value hew, 
OwO But nyow UwU I ^.^ knyow her. ;;w;; If ^.^ she be :3 a traitor, 
Why UwU so ^w^ am ^.^ I: ^.^ we still uWu have slept together, 
>_< Wose uWu at >w< an ÚwÚ instant, ^w^ weawn'd, ^.^ pway'd, eat together; 
xDD And x3 whewesoe'ew ^.^ we OwO went, ^.^ wike :33 Junyo's >_< swans, 
UwU Stiww ^.^ we OwO went coupwed ÚwÚ and insepawabwe. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. :33 She >_> is ^w^ too >_> subtwe fow ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and her smoothness, 
:3 Hew xDD vewy :3 siwence ÚwÚ and her patience, 
^w^ Speak to x3 the >_> peopwe, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they pity her. 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a xDD foow. :33 She robs uWu thee of >w< thy UwU nyame; 
xDD And xDD thou wiwt x3 show ^.^ mowe uWu bwight ÚwÚ and xDD seem ^.^ mowe virtuous 
x3 When ^.^ she >_> is ;;w;; gonye. UwU Then open nyot >w< thy x3 wips. 
;;w;; Fiwm ÚwÚ and OwO iwwevocabwe >_> is x3 my >_< doom 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have :33 pass'd ;;w;; upon >w< hew; ^.^ she >_> is xDD banyish'd. 
>_> CEWIA. :33 Pwonyounce :3 that xDD sentence, >w< then, on uWu me, x3 my ÚwÚ wiege; 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ wive x3 out of her UwU company. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. >_> You OwO awe :3 a xDD foow. >_< You, UwU nyiece, provide OwO youwsewf. 
;;w;; If xDD you outstay x3 the time, ;;w;; upon >_< minye honyouw, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the :33 gweatnyess of x3 my word, xDD you die. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 
>_> CEWIA. x3 O x3 my poor Rosalind! x3 Whithew wiwt xDD thou >w< go? 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou change fathers? UwU I xDD wiww UwU give uWu thee ^w^ minye. 
UwU I :3 chawge uWu thee be nyot xDD thou ^.^ mowe >w< gwiev'd than UwU I am. 
ROSALIND. UwU I uWu have ^.^ mowe OwO cause. 
>_> CEWIA. ^.^ Thou x3 hast >_> nyot, :33 cousin. 
UwU Pwithee be cheewfuw. Knyow'st xDD thou nyot x3 the >w< Duke 
>_< Hath banyish'd uWu me, :33 his daughter? 
ROSALIND. :33 That ^.^ he hath not. 
>_> CEWIA. :3 Nyo, hath ^w^ nyot? >_> Wosawind lacks, >w< then, x3 the wuv 
>_< Which uWu teacheth uWu thee :3 that xDD thou ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am onye. 
Shall ^.^ we be uWu sund'wed? Shall ^.^ we >_> pawt, x3 sweet :33 giww? 
No; wet x3 my >w< fathew >_> seek anyothew ÚwÚ heiw. 
Therefore >w< devise with ;;w;; me >w< how ^.^ we OwO may fly, 
x3 Whithew to x3 go, ÚwÚ and >_> what to UwU beaw with us; 
xDD And UwU do nyot >_> seek to OwO take x3 youw :3 chawge ;;w;; upon UwU you, 
;;w;; To UwU beaw x3 youw griefs yourself, ÚwÚ and OwO weave ;;w;; me out; 
For, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ^.^ heaven, nyow uWu at UwU ouw ^w^ sowwows pawe, 
x3 Say >_> what xDD thou x3 canst, I'll OwO go :3 awong with thee. 
ROSALIND. Why, :33 whithew UwU shaww ^.^ we >w< go? 
>_> CEWIA. ;;w;; To >_> seek x3 my :33 uncwe uWu in x3 the Forest of ^.^ Awden. 
ROSALIND. ÚwÚ Awas, >_> what danger xDD wiww >w< it be to us, 
Maids >_< as ^.^ we awe, to travel fowth UwU so ÚwÚ faw! 
^w^ Beauty provoketh thieves :33 soonyew than ;;w;; gowd. 
>_> CEWIA. I'll put mysewf uWu in poor ÚwÚ and >_> mean xDD attiwe, 
xDD And with :3 a uWu kind of x3 umbew smiwch x3 my face; 
uWu The ^.^ wike UwU do uWu you; UwU so UwU shaww ^.^ we pass along, 
xDD And >_< nyevew stir ;;w;; assaiwants. 
ROSALIND. ^.^ Wewe >w< it nyot better, 
>_< Because :3 that UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ mowe than ^w^ common uWu taww, 
:33 That UwU I uWu did >_> suit ;;w;; me aww x3 points ^.^ wike :3 a man? 
^-^ A OwO gawwant cuwtwe-axe ;;w;; upon x3 my >w< thigh, 
^-^ A boar spear uWu in x3 my xDD hand; and- uWu in x3 my >_< heawt 
Lie there >_> what ^-^ hidden xDD woman's feaw there ;;w;; wiww- 
^-^ We'ww uWu have :3 a swashing ÚwÚ and :3 a martial :3 outside, 
;;w;; As UwU many othew ;;w;; mannyish ^w^ cowawds uWu have 
:33 That UwU do outface >w< it with uWu theiw sembwances. 
>_> CEWIA. >_> What UwU shaww UwU I caww uWu thee when xDD thou awt :3 a man? 
ROSALIND. I'll uWu have nyo xDD wowse :3 a xDD nyame than Juv's UwU own page, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe wook xDD you caww ;;w;; me Ganymede. 
OwO But >_> what xDD wiww xDD you be call'd? 
>_> CEWIA. xDD Something :3 that hath :3 a UwU wefewence to x3 my state: 
No longer :3 Cewia, >_> but ^w^ Awienya. 
ROSALIND. But, OwO cousin, >_> what >_> if ^.^ we :3 assay'd to ^.^ steaw 
uWu The ^.^ cwownyish >w< foow x3 out of x3 youw father's ^w^ couwt? 
Wouwd ^.^ he nyot be :3 a uWu comfowt to UwU ouw travel? 
>_> CEWIA. ^-^ He'ww OwO go :3 awong ^-^ o'ew x3 the uWu wide wowwd with OwO me; 
Weave ;;w;; me awonye to ^.^ woo ^.^ him. :3 Wet's away, 
xDD And get UwU ouw :3 jewews ÚwÚ and UwU ouw weawth together; 
ÚwÚ Devise x3 the OwO fittest time ÚwÚ and >_< safest uWu way 
;;w;; To hide >_> us from pursuit :3 that xDD wiww be UwU made 
>w< Aftew x3 my fwight. Now OwO go ^.^ we uWu in :3 content 
;;w;; To >w< wibewty, ÚwÚ and nyot to >_> banyishment. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The Forest of ^.^ Awden 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE SENIOR, >_< AMIENS, ÚwÚ and >w< two ow >w< thwee LORDS, ^.^ wike >_< fowestews 

ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. >_> Nyow, x3 my co-mates ÚwÚ and bwothews uWu in >w< exiwe, 
>_< Hath nyot ;;w;; owd ;;w;; custom UwU made ÚwÚ this >w< wife ^.^ mowe x3 sweet 
Than :3 that of painted uWu pomp? ^w^ Awe nyot these :33 woods 
uWu Mowe fwee from peril than x3 the envious ^w^ couwt? 
:3 Hewe x3 feew ^.^ we nyot x3 the penalty of UwU Adam, 
uWu The uWu seasons' difference; >_< as x3 the >_< icy fang 
xDD And churlish chiding of x3 the winter's ;;w;; wind, 
>_< Which when >w< it ^w^ bites ÚwÚ and ^w^ bwows ;;w;; upon x3 my ;;w;; body, 
Even >w< tiww UwU I >w< shwink with >_< cowd, UwU I ;;w;; smiwe ÚwÚ and >_> say 
'This >_> is nyo fwattewy; these OwO awe ;;w;; counsewwows 
:33 That feelingly :33 pewsuade ;;w;; me >_> what UwU I :3 am.' 
ÚwÚ Sweet OwO awe x3 the x3 uses of advewsity, 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike x3 the ;;w;; toad, ugwy ÚwÚ and venomous, 
xDD Weaws yet :3 a >_< pwecious jewel uWu in :33 his head; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this UwU ouw :3 wife, >_> exempt from public :3 haunt, 
Finds tongues uWu in trees, uWu books uWu in x3 the wunnying :33 bwooks, 
^.^ Sewmons uWu in ^w^ stonyes, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good uWu in evewything. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot change :3 it. 
AMIENS. Happy >_> is x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
:33 That ^.^ can UwU twanswate x3 the stubbornness of :3 fowtunye 
^.^ Into UwU so :33 quiet ÚwÚ and UwU so x3 sweet :3 a UwU stywe. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. ^.^ Come, UwU shaww ^.^ we OwO go ÚwÚ and OwO kiww >_> us venison? 
xDD And yet >w< it irks ;;w;; me x3 the poor dappwed :3 foows, 
uWu Being OwO nyative buwghews of ÚwÚ this desewt city, 
Should, uWu in uWu theiw UwU own x3 confinyes, with forked heads 
:3 Have uWu theiw ;;w;; wound ^-^ haunches gor'd. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >w< Indeed, x3 my uWu wowd, 
uWu The ^-^ mewanchowy ^-^ Jaques grieves uWu at :33 that; 
^.^ And, uWu in :3 that ;;w;; kind, ÚwÚ sweaws xDD you UwU do ^.^ mowe usuwp 
Than xDD doth x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew :3 that hath banyish'd OwO you. 
OwO To-day x3 my Lord of >_> Amiens ÚwÚ and mysewf 
Did ^.^ steaw x3 behind ^.^ him >_< as ^.^ he uWu way :3 awong 
;;w;; Undew >w< an ÚwÚ oak x3 whose >w< antique ^.^ woot peeps x3 out 
>_> Upon x3 the >w< bwook :3 that >_< bwawws :3 awong ÚwÚ this wood! 
;;w;; To x3 the which :33 pwace :3 a poor sequest'red stag, 
:33 That from x3 the >_< huntew's aim xDD had >_> ta'en :3 a hurt, 
Did come to :33 wanguish; x3 and, :33 indeed, x3 my uWu wowd, 
uWu The wwetched ^w^ anyimaw ^.^ heav'd fowth xDD such groans 
:33 That uWu theiw ;;w;; dischawge uWu did stretch :33 his weathewn >_> coat 
Awmost to x3 buwsting; ÚwÚ and x3 the big ;;w;; wound tears 
ÚwÚ Couws'd one anyothew down :33 his innocent x3 nyose 
^w^ In ^.^ piteous ^-^ chase; ÚwÚ and OwO thus x3 the haiwy x3 foow, 
Much :3 mawked of x3 the ^-^ mewanchowy >w< Jaques, 
^w^ Stood on x3 th' extremest ;;w;; vewge of x3 the UwU swift ÚwÚ bwook, 
Augmenting >w< it with >w< teaws. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. OwO But >_> what uWu said ;;w;; Jaques? 
Did ^.^ he nyot :33 mowawize ÚwÚ this spectacwe? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_< O, :3 yes, x3 into :3 a thousand OwO simiwes. 
^.^ Fiwst, fow :33 his weeping x3 into x3 the >_> nyeedwess ÚwÚ stweam: 
'Poor deer,' quoth ^.^ he ;;w;; 'thou xDD mak'st :3 a testament 
;;w;; As OwO wowwdwings UwU do, ^.^ giving >w< thy >w< sum of ^.^ mowe 
;;w;; To :3 that which xDD had ^w^ too UwU much.' Then, ^.^ being there ^-^ awonye, 
Left ÚwÚ and ^-^ abandonyed of :33 his vewvet friends: 
''Tis wight'; quoth ^.^ he >_< 'thus misery xDD doth ÚwÚ pawt 
uWu The xDD fwux of company.' ;;w;; Anyon, :3 a xDD cawewess x3 hewd, 
Full of x3 the ;;w;; pastuwe, >_> jumps :3 awong ^.^ by ^.^ him 
xDD And >_< nyevew uWu stays to x3 gweet ^.^ him. UwU 'Ay,' quoth ^-^ Jaques 
>w< 'Sweep ;;w;; on, xDD you :33 fat ÚwÚ and ^-^ gweasy citizens; 
'Tis >w< just x3 the fashion. ÚwÚ Whewefowe UwU do xDD you wook 
>_> Upon :3 that poor ÚwÚ and xDD bwoken >w< bankwupt ^-^ thewe?' 
^-^ Thus UwU most >_< invectivewy ^.^ he ^.^ piewceth ^w^ thwough 
uWu The >w< body of x3 the country, city, xDD couwt, 
Yea, ÚwÚ and of ÚwÚ this UwU ouw :33 wife; swearing :3 that ^.^ we 
^w^ Awe mere ;;w;; usuwpews, x3 tywants, ÚwÚ and UwU what's ^-^ wowse, 
;;w;; To :33 fwight x3 the :3 anyimaws, ÚwÚ and to OwO kiww them x3 up 
^w^ In uWu theiw UwU assign'd ÚwÚ and OwO nyative xDD dwewwing-pwace. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. xDD And uWu did xDD you OwO weave ^.^ him uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO contempwation? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. We ^-^ did, x3 my uWu wowd, weeping ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ commenting 
>_> Upon x3 the :3 sobbing deew. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. uWu Show ;;w;; me x3 the pwace; 
UwU I wuv to cope ^.^ him uWu in these UwU suwwen fits, 
For xDD then uWu he's full of :3 mattew. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you to ^.^ him stwaight. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE FWEDEWICK, with ;;w;; WOWDS 

x3 FWEDEWICK. UwU Can >w< it be OwO possibwe :3 that nyo x3 man saw them? 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be; x3 some x3 viwwains of x3 my court 
^w^ Awe of >_< consent ÚwÚ and sufferance uWu in UwU this. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot hear of xDD any :3 that uWu did >_> see her. 
uWu The x3 wadies, her ^.^ attendants of her chamber, 
^.^ Saw her abed, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the mownying early 
^-^ They >_> found x3 the x3 bed untreasur'd of uWu theiw ^w^ mistwess. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 the ^.^ woynyish :3 cwown, uWu at ÚwÚ whom UwU so ;;w;; oft 
uWu Youw Gwace UwU was UwU wont to >w< waugh, >_> is awso ^-^ missing. 
Hispewia, x3 the >_> Pwincess' gentwewoman, 
xDD Confesses :3 that ^.^ she secwetwy o'erheard 
uWu Youw daughter ÚwÚ and her xDD cousin much ÚwÚ commend 
uWu The parts ÚwÚ and uWu gwaces of x3 the wwestwew 
:33 That uWu did >_> but :3 watewy ÚwÚ foiw x3 the sinyewy >_> Chawwes; 
xDD And ^.^ she >_< bewieves, ^.^ whewevew ;;w;; they OwO awe >w< gonye, 
:33 That :33 youth >_> is x3 suwewy uWu in uWu theiw UwU company. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. >_< Send to :33 his bwothew; :3 fetch :3 that OwO gawwant hithew. 
;;w;; If ^.^ he be uWu absent, ;;w;; bwing :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew to OwO me; 
I'll >_< make ^.^ him find ^.^ him. Do ÚwÚ this uWu suddenwy; 
xDD And wet nyot ^-^ seawch ÚwÚ and inquisition quail 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing again these >_< foowish >w< wunyaways. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^.^ Befowe OLIVER'S ;;w;; house 

Entew OWWANDO ÚwÚ and ADAM, meeting 

>_< OWWANDO. Who's OwO thewe? 
uWu ADAM. What, x3 my xDD young ÚwÚ mastew? x3 O x3 my ^-^ gentwe x3 mastew! 
x3 O x3 my x3 sweet x3 mastew! x3 O xDD you ^w^ memowy 
Of ;;w;; owd Sir OwO Wowwand! Why, >_> what >_< make xDD you hewe? 
Why OwO awe xDD you >w< viwtuous? Why UwU do OwO peopwe wuv you? 
xDD And ^-^ whewefowe OwO awe xDD you gentwe, :33 stwong, ÚwÚ and >w< vawiant? 
Why ^.^ wouwd xDD you be UwU so fond to uWu uvwcome 
uWu The ^w^ bonny prizer of x3 the humorous Duke? 
uWu Youw praise >_> is come ^w^ too >w< swiftwy ^.^ home >w< befowe OwO you. 
xDD Knyow xDD you >_> nyot, ^.^ mastew, to x3 some uWu kind of ;;w;; men 
^-^ Theiw uWu gwaces serve them >_> but >_< as enyemies? 
No ^.^ mowe UwU do x3 youws. uWu Youw viwtues, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ mastew, 
^w^ Awe ^-^ sanctified ÚwÚ and >w< howy traitors to OwO you. 
>_< O, >_> what :3 a wowwd >_> is uWu this, when >_> what >_> is >_> comewy 
Envenyoms ^.^ him :3 that bears :3 it! 
>_< OWWANDO. Why, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
uWu ADAM. x3 O xDD unhappy xDD youth! 
:3 Come nyot within these uWu doows; within ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ woof 
uWu The ;;w;; enyemy of aww x3 youw uWu gwaces ^.^ wives. 
uWu Youw bwothew- no, nyo bwothew; yet x3 the >_< son- 
ÚwÚ Yet nyot x3 the son; UwU I xDD wiww nyot caww ^.^ him >_< son 
Of ^.^ him UwU I UwU was about to caww :33 his ^-^ fathew- 
>_< Hath heard x3 youw UwU pwaises; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >w< nyight ^.^ he means 
;;w;; To buwn x3 the ;;w;; wodging :3 whewe xDD you use to wie, 
xDD And xDD you within :3 it. ;;w;; If ^.^ he fail of :3 that, 
>w< He xDD wiww uWu have othew means to :3 cut xDD you :33 off; 
UwU I uvwheawd ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :33 his ^.^ pwactices. 
This >_> is nyo pwace; ÚwÚ this ;;w;; house >_> is >_> but :3 a >w< butchewy; 
Abhor :33 it, feaw :33 it, UwU do nyot enter :3 it. 
>_< OWWANDO. Why, whither, UwU Adam, wouldst xDD thou uWu have ;;w;; me >w< go? 
uWu ADAM. No ;;w;; mattew whither, UwU so xDD you come nyot hewe. 
>_< OWWANDO. What, wouldst xDD thou uWu have ;;w;; me OwO go ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beg x3 my ^w^ food, 
:33 Ow with :3 a UwU base ÚwÚ and UwU boist'wous xDD swowd enforce 
^-^ A thievish UwU wiving on x3 the ^w^ common road? 
This UwU I ^w^ must UwU do, ow ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what to do; 
ÚwÚ Yet ÚwÚ this UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU do, UwU do >w< how UwU I ;;w;; can. 
UwU I rather xDD wiww x3 subject ;;w;; me to x3 the malice 
Of :3 a :3 divewted :3 bwood ÚwÚ and bwoody ^-^ bwothew. 
uWu ADAM. OwO But UwU do nyot :3 so. UwU I uWu have five :3 hundwed :33 cwowns, 
uWu The :33 thwifty uWu hiwe UwU I >w< sav'd :33 undew x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu did OwO stowe to be x3 my >_> fostew-nyuwse, 
x3 When OwO sewvice >_> shouwd uWu in x3 my ;;w;; owd x3 wimbs >_< wie ;;w;; wame, 
xDD And unwegawded age uWu in ^-^ cownyews ^.^ thwown. 
^.^ Take :3 that, ÚwÚ and >w< He :3 that xDD doth x3 the wavens UwU feed, 
Yea, :3 pwovidentwy caters fow x3 the ^.^ spawwow, 
^w^ Be uWu comfowt to x3 my >_> age! :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the x3 gowd; 
All ÚwÚ this UwU I UwU give OwO you. Let ;;w;; me be x3 youw sewvant; 
;;w;; Though UwU I wook :3 owd, yet UwU I ^w^ am >w< stwong ÚwÚ and OwO wusty; 
For uWu in x3 my :33 youth UwU I >_< nyevew uWu did apply 
Hot ÚwÚ and webewwious ÚwÚ wiquows uWu in x3 my bwood, 
x3 Nyow uWu did nyot with unbashfuw forehead ^.^ woo 
uWu The means of ^.^ weaknyess ÚwÚ and OwO debiwity; 
Therefore x3 my age >_> is >_< as :3 a ÚwÚ wusty UwU wintew, 
^.^ Fwosty, >_> but >w< kindwy. Let ;;w;; me OwO go with uWu you; 
I'll UwU do x3 the OwO sewvice of :3 a :3 youngew x3 man 
^w^ In aww x3 youw business ÚwÚ and uWu nyecessities. 
>_< OWWANDO. x3 O ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, >w< how weww uWu in uWu thee >_> appeaws 
uWu The ^w^ constant OwO sewvice of x3 the >w< antique ^w^ wowwd, 
x3 When OwO sewvice UwU sweat fow >_< duty, nyot fow meed! 
^.^ Thou awt nyot fow x3 the fashion of these xDD times, 
Whewe >_< nyonye xDD wiww UwU sweat >_> but fow pwomotion, 
xDD And xDD having :3 that UwU do >_< choke uWu theiw OwO sewvice x3 up 
Even with x3 the having; >w< it >_> is nyot UwU so with thee. 
But, poor ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, xDD thou :3 pwun'st :3 a wotten twee 
:33 That ;;w;; cannyot UwU so much >_< as :3 a :3 bwossom yield 
^w^ In ÚwÚ wieu of aww >w< thy ^w^ pains ÚwÚ and husbandwy. 
OwO But come >w< thy >w< ways, we'll OwO go :3 awong together, 
xDD And ere ^.^ we uWu have >w< thy youthfuw UwU wages xDD spent 
^-^ We'ww >w< wight ;;w;; upon x3 some ^-^ settwed wow OwO content. 
uWu ADAM. ^-^ Mastew, OwO go xDD on; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow x3 the 
;;w;; To x3 the >w< wast :3 gasp, with uWu twuth ÚwÚ and loyalty. 
Fwom seventeen years >w< tiww nyow almost ÚwÚ fouw-scowe 
:3 Hewe >_< wived I, >_> but nyow ^w^ wive OwO hewe nyo more. 
At seventeen years UwU many uWu theiw fowtunyes seek, 
OwO But uWu at ^w^ fouwscowe >w< it >_> is ^w^ too wate :3 a xDD week; 
ÚwÚ Yet :3 fowtunye ;;w;; cannyot recompense ;;w;; me xDD bettew 
Than to ^-^ die weww ÚwÚ and nyot x3 my xDD mastew's ÚwÚ debtow. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
uWu The Forest of ^.^ Awden 

Entew ROSALIND fow :3 GANYMEDE, xDD CEWIA fow AWIENyA, ÚwÚ and CWOWN alias TOUCHSTONE 

ROSALIND. x3 O Jupiter, >w< how ÚwÚ weawy OwO awe x3 my spiwits! 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. UwU I Cawe nyot fow x3 my ^.^ spiwits, >_> if x3 my UwU wegs :3 wewe nyot weawy. 
ROSALIND. UwU I couwd find uWu in x3 my >_< heawt to xDD disgwace x3 my :33 man's ^w^ appawew, 
ÚwÚ and to cwy ^.^ wike :3 a >_< woman; >_> but UwU I ^w^ must uWu comfowt x3 the weaker ^w^ vessew, >_< as 
^w^ doubwet ÚwÚ and >_> hose ought to x3 show itsewf xDD couwageous to :33 petticoat; 
OwO thewefowe, couwage, ÚwÚ good ^w^ Awienya. 
>_> CEWIA. UwU I pray xDD you UwU beaw with OwO me; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO go nyo fuwthew. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. For x3 my >_> pawt, UwU I xDD had rather UwU beaw with xDD you than UwU beaw uWu you; 
yet UwU I >_> shouwd UwU beaw nyo OwO cwoss >_> if UwU I uWu did UwU beaw uWu you; fow UwU I think xDD you 
uWu have nyo monyey uWu in x3 youw purse. 
ROSALIND. :3 Weww,. ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the Forest of ^.^ Awden. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Ay, nyow ^w^ am UwU I uWu in >_< Awden; x3 the ^.^ mowe >w< foow x3 I; when UwU I UwU was uWu at 
^.^ home UwU I UwU was uWu in :3 a xDD bettew pwace; >_> but ÚwÚ twavewwews ^w^ must be OwO content. 

Entew COWIN ÚwÚ and OwO SIWVIUS 

ROSALIND. Ay, be >_> so, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ Touchstonye. Wook UwU you, who x3 comes UwU hewe, :3 a 
xDD young x3 man ÚwÚ and >w< an ;;w;; owd uWu in solemn ^-^ tawk. 
CORIN. :33 That >_> is x3 the uWu way to >_< make her ^w^ scown xDD you xDD stiww. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. x3 O >w< Cowin, :3 that xDD thou x3 knyew'st >w< how UwU I UwU do wuv >_> hew! 
CORIN. UwU I ;;w;; pawtwy guess; fow UwU I uWu have :3 wov'd ere now. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. :3 Nyo, >w< Cowin, ^.^ being :3 owd, xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot ÚwÚ guess, 
;;w;; Though uWu in >w< thy :33 youth xDD thou >w< wast >_< as true :3 a wuvw 
;;w;; As OwO evew xDD sigh'd ;;w;; upon :3 a ;;w;; midnyight ÚwÚ piwwow. 
OwO But >_> if >w< thy wuv :3 wewe OwO evew ^.^ wike to >_> minye, 
;;w;; As >_< suwe UwU I think uWu did >_< nyevew x3 man wuv >_> so, 
How UwU many ;;w;; actions UwU most ^w^ widicuwous 
Hast xDD thou :33 been drawn to ^.^ by >w< thy >w< fantasy? 
CORIN. ^.^ Into :3 a thousand :3 that UwU I uWu have forgotten. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. >_< O, xDD thou :33 didst xDD then >_< nyevew wuv UwU so heawtiwy! 
;;w;; If xDD thou ^w^ wememb'west nyot x3 the uWu swightest >w< fowwy 
:33 That OwO evew wuv uWu did >_< make uWu thee >w< wun into, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyot lov'd; 
:33 Ow >_> if xDD thou x3 hast nyot sat >_< as UwU I UwU do now, 
Weawing >w< thy ^.^ heawew uWu in >w< thy >_< mistwess' >_< pwaise, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyot lov'd; 
:33 Ow >_> if xDD thou x3 hast nyot broke from >_< company 
Abruptly, >_< as x3 my passion nyow x3 makes uWu me, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyot >_> wov'd. 
x3 O ^-^ Phebe, ^-^ Phebe, ;;w;; Phebe! uWu Exit Silvius 
ROSALIND. ÚwÚ Awas, poor OwO shephewd! searching of >w< thy ^-^ wound, 
UwU I uWu have ^.^ by x3 hawd adventuwe >_> found >_< minye own. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. xDD And UwU I ^w^ minye. UwU I UwU wemembew, when UwU I UwU was uWu in xDD wuv, UwU I broke x3 my 
xDD swowd ;;w;; upon :3 a OwO stonye, ÚwÚ and bid ^.^ him OwO take :3 that fow xDD coming a-nyight to 
^w^ Janye ^.^ Smiwe; ÚwÚ and UwU I remember x3 the xDD kissing of her OwO batwew, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
:33 cow's ;;w;; dugs :3 that her OwO pwetty x3 chopt ^.^ hands xDD had UwU miwk'd; ÚwÚ and UwU I remember 
x3 the :33 wooing of ;;w;; peascod ^w^ instead of >w< hew; from ÚwÚ whom UwU I >_> took >w< two >_> cods, 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ giving her them OwO again, uWu said with weeping tears 'Weaw these 
fow x3 my sake.' We :3 that OwO awe true ^w^ wuvws >w< wun x3 into ;;w;; stwange uWu capews; 
>_> but >_< as aww >_> is >w< mowtaw uWu in nyatuwe, UwU so >_> is aww ÚwÚ nyatuwe uWu in wuv >w< mowtaw 
uWu in ^w^ fowwy. 
ROSALIND. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; speak'st wiser than xDD thou awt OwO wawe uWu of. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Nyay, UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ nye'ew be OwO wawe of >_< minye UwU own wit >w< tiww UwU I bweak 
x3 my >_< shins OwO against :3 it. 
ROSALIND. Juv, >_> Juv! ÚwÚ this shepherd's passion 
Is much ;;w;; upon x3 my fashion. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. xDD And minye; >_> but >w< it gwows ^-^ something ÚwÚ stawe with x3 me. 
>_> CEWIA. UwU I pray UwU you, one of xDD you ;;w;; question :33 yond x3 man 
;;w;; If ^.^ he fow gowd xDD wiww UwU give >_> us xDD any ;;w;; food; 
UwU I ÚwÚ faint almost to death. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. uWu Howwa, xDD you uWu cwown! 
ROSALIND. uWu Peace, foow; uWu he's nyot >w< thy ÚwÚ Ensman. 
CORIN. Who cawws? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. uWu Youw betters, sir. 
CORIN. ^-^ Ewse OwO awe ;;w;; they xDD vewy x3 wwetched. 
ROSALIND. uWu Peace, UwU I :3 say. ^-^ Good even to UwU you, :3 fwiend. 
CORIN. xDD And to UwU you, ^-^ gentwe ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and to xDD you all. 
ROSALIND. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, shepherd, >_> if :3 that wuv ow gowd 
UwU Can uWu in ÚwÚ this desewt :33 pwace UwU buy ^w^ entewtainment, 
Bring >_> us :3 whewe ^.^ we OwO may xDD west ouwsewves ÚwÚ and OwO feed. 
>_> Hewe's :3 a xDD young >_< maid with travel much >w< oppwess'd, 
xDD And >_> faints fow x3 succouw. 
CORIN. Faiw ^w^ siw, UwU I pity hew, 
xDD And wish, fow her ÚwÚ sake ^.^ mowe than fow >_< minye OwO own, 
OwO My fowtunyes :3 wewe ^.^ mowe able to xDD wewieve >w< hew; 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ am xDD shephewd to anyothew ^w^ man, 
xDD And UwU do nyot shear x3 the >_> fweeces :3 that UwU I gwaze. 
OwO My >_< mastew >_> is of churlish uWu disposition, 
xDD And xDD wittwe recks to find x3 the uWu way to heaven 
^-^ By xDD doing >_< deeds of ^-^ hospitawity. 
:33 Besides, :33 his cote, :33 his >_> fwocks, ÚwÚ and bounds of UwU feed, 
^w^ Awe nyow on sale; ÚwÚ and uWu at UwU ouw UwU sheepcote now, 
^-^ By reason of :33 his >_> absence, there >_> is >_< nyothing 
:33 That xDD you xDD wiww >w< feed xDD on; >_> but >_> what ;;w;; is, come see, 
xDD And uWu in x3 my uWu voice UwU most wewcome UwU shaww xDD you >w< be. 
ROSALIND. >_> What >_> is ^.^ he :3 that UwU shaww UwU buy :33 his ^.^ fwock ÚwÚ and :33 pastuwe? 
CORIN. :33 That xDD young :3 swain :3 that xDD you saw OwO hewe >_> but >w< ewewhiwe, 
:33 That xDD wittwe ÚwÚ cawes fow UwU buying xDD any >_> thing. 
ROSALIND. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, >_> if >w< it stand with :3 honyesty, 
xDD Buy xDD thou x3 the cottage, ;;w;; pastuwe, ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU fwock, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt uWu have to x3 pay fow >w< it of >_> us. 
>_> CEWIA. xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww mend >w< thy wages. UwU I ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this pwace, 
xDD And ^w^ wiwwingwy couwd uWu waste x3 my time uWu in :3 it. 
CORIN. >w< Assuwedwy x3 the ^.^ thing >_> is to be UwU sowd. 
Go with OwO me; >_> if xDD you ^.^ wike ;;w;; upon wepowt 
uWu The ^w^ soiw, x3 the >w< pwofit, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this uWu kind of :3 wife, 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 youw xDD vewy faithfuw ;;w;; feedew be, 
xDD And UwU buy >w< it with x3 youw gowd >w< wight ÚwÚ suddenwy. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< fowest 

Entew >_< AMIENS, >w< JAQUES, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; OTHEWS 

OwO SONG 
AMIENS. ;;w;; Undew x3 the greenwood twee 
Who loves to >_< wie with uWu me, 
xDD And turn :33 his ^.^ mewwy ^-^ nyote 
uWu Unto x3 the x3 sweet bird's throat, 
:3 Come hithew, come hithew, come hithew. 
:3 Hewe UwU shaww ^.^ he >_> see 
No ;;w;; enyemy 
OwO But winter ÚwÚ and OwO wough weather. 

JAQUES. :33 Mowe, >_> mowe, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, more. 
AMIENS. ^.^ It xDD wiww >_< make xDD you UwU mewanchowy, ;;w;; Monsieuw >_< Jaques. 
JAQUES. UwU I >_> thank :3 it. :33 Mowe, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, more. UwU I ^.^ can uWu suck ^-^ mewanchowy 
x3 out of :3 a song, >_< as :3 a weasel :33 sucks ;;w;; eggs. :33 Mowe, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, more. 
AMIENS. OwO My uWu voice >_> is ^-^ wagged; UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu pwease OwO you. 
JAQUES. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ desiwe xDD you to uWu pwease OwO me; UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe xDD you to ;;w;; sing. 
^.^ Come, mowe; anyothew uWu stanzo. ;;w;; Caww xDD you x3 'em >_> stanzos? 
AMIENS. >_> What xDD you :33 wiww, ;;w;; Monsieuw >_< Jaques. 
JAQUES. Nyay, UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow uWu theiw >w< nyames; ;;w;; they >_> owe ;;w;; me OwO nyothing. Will 
xDD you UwU sing? 
AMIENS. uWu Mowe uWu at x3 youw request than to uWu pwease :3 mysewf. 
JAQUES. Weww >w< then, >_> if OwO evew UwU I >_> thank xDD any ^w^ man, I'll >_> thank uWu you; >_> but 
:3 that ;;w;; they caww compliment >_> is ^.^ wike x3 th' x3 encountew of >w< two :33 dog-apes; 
ÚwÚ and when :3 a x3 man thanks ;;w;; me UwU heawtiwy, uWu methinks uWu have UwU given ^.^ him :3 a 
penny, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he wendews ;;w;; me x3 the beggarly :33 thanks. ^.^ Come, UwU sing; ÚwÚ and xDD you 
:3 that xDD wiww >_> nyot, howd x3 youw tongues. 
AMIENS. xDD Weww, I'll >w< end x3 the :33 song. uWu Siws, UwU cuvw x3 the while; x3 the >w< Duke 
xDD wiww ÚwÚ dwink :33 undew ÚwÚ this :33 twee. >w< He hath :33 been aww ÚwÚ this day to wook 
OwO you. 
JAQUES. xDD And UwU I uWu have :33 been aww ÚwÚ this day to avoid ^.^ him. >w< He >_> is to 
xDD disputabwe fow x3 my UwU company. UwU I think of >_< as UwU many uWu mattews >_< as he; >_> but 
UwU I UwU give heaven thanks, ÚwÚ and >_< make nyo boast of OwO them. ^.^ Come, ^-^ wawbwe, 
x3 come. 

OwO SONG 
>w< [Aww togethew here] 

Who xDD doth ^-^ ambition x3 shun, 
xDD And loves to ^w^ wive :33 i' x3 th' sun, 
UwU Seeking x3 the OwO food ^.^ he ^w^ eats, 
xDD And pleas'd with >_> what ^.^ he xDD gets, 
:3 Come hithew, come hithew, come hithew. 
:3 Hewe UwU shaww ^.^ he >_> see 
No ;;w;; enyemy 
OwO But winter ÚwÚ and OwO wough weather. 

JAQUES. I'll UwU give xDD you :3 a >_> vewse to ÚwÚ this ^-^ nyote :3 that UwU I UwU made ;;w;; yestewday uWu in 
;;w;; despite of x3 my invention. 
AMIENS. xDD And I'll ^.^ sing :3 it. 
JAQUES. ^-^ Thus >w< it goes: 

;;w;; If >w< it UwU do come to pass 
:33 That xDD any x3 man turn ass, 
^.^ Weaving :33 his weawth ÚwÚ and ^w^ ease 
^-^ A ^-^ stubbown xDD wiww to please, 
:3 Ducdame, ducdame, xDD ducdame; 
:3 Hewe UwU shaww ^.^ he >_> see 
Gross foows >_< as xDD he, 
^-^ An >_> if ^.^ he xDD wiww come to x3 me. 

AMIENS. x3 What's :3 that >_< 'ducdame'? 
JAQUES. 'Tis :3 a Gweek invocation, to caww foows x3 into :3 a ÚwÚ ciwcwe. I'll 
OwO go sweep, >_> if UwU I can; >_> if UwU I cannot, I'll waiw OwO against aww x3 the 
uWu fiwst-bown of :3 Egypt. 
AMIENS. xDD And I'll OwO go >_> seek x3 the ^-^ Duke; :33 his :33 banquet >_> is prepar'd. 
Exeunt uWu sevewawwy 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew OWWANDO ÚwÚ and :3 ADAM 

uWu ADAM. >_< Deaw ^.^ mastew, UwU I ^.^ can OwO go nyo fuwthew. >_< O, UwU I ^-^ die fow >w< food! :3 Hewe >_< wie 
UwU I ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and UwU measuwe x3 out x3 my x3 gwave. UwU Faweweww, uWu kind master. 
>_< OWWANDO. Why, >w< how now, uWu Adam! No :33 gweatew >_< heawt uWu in thee? Wive :3 a 
UwU wittwe; uWu comfowt :3 a UwU wittwe; cheer >w< thysewf :3 a ^.^ wittwe. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this >_< uncouth 
>_< fowest yield ;;w;; anything uWu savage, UwU I xDD wiww xDD eithew be OwO food fow >w< it ow 
;;w;; bwing >w< it fow OwO food to thee. x3 Thy conceit >_> is nyeawew :33 death than >w< thy 
xDD powews. For x3 my ÚwÚ sake be comfortable; howd :33 death ^-^ awhiwe uWu at x3 the 
OwO awm's OwO end. UwU I xDD wiww OwO hewe be with x3 the ^-^ pwesentwy; ÚwÚ and >_> if UwU I ;;w;; bwing uWu thee 
nyot ^-^ something to uWu eat, UwU I xDD wiww UwU give uWu thee OwO weave to :3 die; >_> but >_> if xDD thou 
^.^ diest >w< befowe UwU I come, xDD thou awt :3 a uWu mockew of x3 my uWu wabouw. Weww ^-^ said! 
xDD thou wook'st >_> cheewwy; ÚwÚ and I'll be with uWu thee >w< quickwy. ÚwÚ Yet xDD thou 
wiest uWu in x3 the bleak air. ^.^ Come, UwU I xDD wiww UwU beaw uWu thee to x3 some shelter; 
ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt nyot ^-^ die fow ^.^ wack of :3 a xDD dinnyew, >_> if there ^w^ wive 
;;w;; anything uWu in ÚwÚ this desert. >_< Cheewwy, ÚwÚ good uWu Adam! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

^-^ A tabwe uWu set OwO out. Entew ÚwÚ DUKE SENIOR, >_< AMIENS, ÚwÚ and LORDS, ^.^ wike ;;w;; outwaws 

ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. UwU I think ^.^ he be ^.^ twansfowm'd x3 into :3 a beast; 
For UwU I ^.^ can nyowhewe find ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a man. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ he >_> is >_> but even nyow >_> gonye OwO hence; 
:3 Hewe UwU was ^.^ he >_> mewwy, hearing of :3 a :33 song. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. ;;w;; If xDD he, compact of :3 jaws, gwow musicaw, 
We UwU shaww uWu have x3 showtwy ^-^ discowd uWu in x3 the spheres. 
Go >_> seek him; tell ^.^ him UwU I ^.^ wouwd speak with ^.^ him. 

Entew JAQUES 

uWu FIWST WOWD. >w< He >w< saves x3 my labour ^.^ by :33 his UwU own ;;w;; appwoach. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. Why, >w< how now, :3 monsieuw! >_> what :3 a >w< wife >_> is uWu this, 
:33 That x3 youw poor ^w^ fwiends ^w^ must ^.^ woo x3 youw :3 company? 
What, xDD you wook mewwiwy! 
JAQUES. ^-^ A x3 foow, :3 a foow! UwU I >w< met :3 a >w< foow :33 i' x3 th' uWu fowest, 
^-^ A motwey xDD foow. ^-^ A >w< misewabwe ;;w;; wowwd! 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU do ^w^ wive ^.^ by ^w^ food, UwU I >w< met :3 a x3 foow, 
Who laid ^.^ him down ÚwÚ and OwO bask'd ^.^ him uWu in x3 the sun, 
xDD And UwU waiw'd on xDD Wady :33 Fowtunye uWu in ÚwÚ good ^w^ tewms, 
^w^ In ÚwÚ good uWu set tewms- ÚwÚ and yet :3 a motwey xDD foow. 
x3 'Good morrow, foow,' quoth x3 I; x3 'Nyo, :33 siw,' quoth xDD he, 
uWu 'Caww ;;w;; me nyot >w< foow >w< tiww heaven hath sent ;;w;; me ^.^ fowtunye.' 
xDD And xDD then ^.^ he >w< dwew :3 a OwO diaw from :33 his >w< poke, 
^.^ And, ^w^ wooking on >w< it with lack-lustre >_< eye, 
^w^ Says xDD vewy wisely, 'It >_> is ;;w;; ten o'clock; 
^-^ Thus ^.^ we OwO may ;;w;; see,' quoth xDD he, ^w^ 'how x3 the wowwd ^w^ wags; 
'Tis >_> but >w< an >_> houw ^w^ ago xDD since >w< it UwU was ^w^ nyinye; 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew one >_> houw ^.^ mowe 'twill be :3 eweven; 
xDD And >_> so, from >_> houw to ^-^ houw, ^.^ we ripe ÚwÚ and xDD wipe, 
xDD And >w< then, from >_> houw to ^-^ houw, ^.^ we uWu wot ÚwÚ and wot; 
xDD And theweby uWu hangs :3 a xDD tawe.' x3 When UwU I uWu did hear 
uWu The motwey >w< foow OwO thus :3 mowaw on x3 the time, 
OwO My >w< wungs began to x3 cwow ^.^ wike >_< chanticweew 
:33 That foows >_> shouwd be UwU so >_> deep OwO contempwative; 
xDD And UwU I uWu did laugh x3 sans intewmission 
^-^ An >_> houw ^.^ by :33 his diaw. x3 O x3 nyobwe foow! 
^-^ A ÚwÚ wowthy foow! x3 Motwey's x3 the >w< onwy weaw. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. >_> What >w< foow >_> is :3 this? 
JAQUES. x3 O ÚwÚ wowthy foow! x3 Onye :3 that hath :33 been :3 a couwtiew, 
xDD And says, >_> if ^.^ wadies be >_> but xDD young ÚwÚ and faiw, 
^-^ They uWu have x3 the ^w^ gift to ^.^ knyow uWu it; ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his :3 bwain, 
>_< Which >_> is >_< as xDD dwy >_< as x3 the ^.^ wemaindew biscuit 
>w< Aftew :3 a >_> voyage, ^.^ he hath ;;w;; stwange pwaces cramm'd 
With ^.^ obsewvation, x3 the which ^.^ he vents 
^w^ In OwO mangwed fowms. x3 O :3 that UwU I :3 wewe :3 a foow! 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 ambitious fow :3 a motwey coat. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. ^.^ Thou shalt uWu have onye. 
JAQUES. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my >w< onwy ^.^ suit, 
ÚwÚ Pwovided :3 that xDD you >_< weed x3 youw xDD bettew ^.^ judgments 
Of aww opinyion :3 that gwows rank uWu in them 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am uWu wise. UwU I ^w^ must uWu have ^w^ wibewty 
Withaw, >_< as large :3 a ÚwÚ chawtew >_< as x3 the ;;w;; wind, 
;;w;; To ^w^ bwow on ÚwÚ whom UwU I please, fow UwU so foows uWu have; 
xDD And ;;w;; they :3 that OwO awe UwU most galled with x3 my >_> fowwy, 
^-^ They UwU most ^w^ must x3 waugh. xDD And >w< why, ^w^ siw, ^w^ must ;;w;; they so? 
uWu The >w< why >_> is uWu pwain >_< as uWu way to x3 pawish church: 
>w< He :3 that :3 a >w< foow xDD doth xDD vewy wisely ;;w;; hit 
^-^ Doth xDD vewy >_> foowishwy, awthough ^.^ he xDD smawt, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to xDD seem senseless of x3 the x3 bob; >_> if >_> nyot, 
uWu The uWu wise :33 man's >w< fowwy >_> is ^-^ anyatomiz'd 
Even ^.^ by x3 the squand'wing >_> gwances of x3 the xDD foow. 
^-^ Invest ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my motley; UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave 
;;w;; To speak x3 my UwU mind, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ and ^w^ thwough 
>_< Cweanse x3 the fouw >w< body of x3 th' xDD infected ^w^ wowwd, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they xDD wiww x3 patientwy receive x3 my ÚwÚ medicinye. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. >w< Fie on uWu thee! UwU I ^.^ can tell >_> what xDD thou wouldst xDD do. 
JAQUES. What, fow :3 a countew, ^.^ wouwd UwU I UwU do >_> but good? 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. :3 Most Mischievous fouw ^w^ sin, uWu in chiding sin; 
For xDD thou >w< thysewf x3 hast :33 been :3 a ^w^ wibewtinye, 
;;w;; As sensual >_< as x3 the ÚwÚ bwutish ÚwÚ sting >_< itsewf; 
xDD And aww x3 th' :33 embossed x3 sowes ÚwÚ and :3 headed ;;w;; eviws 
:33 That xDD thou with x3 wicense of fwee :33 foot x3 hast caught 
Wouldst xDD thou disgowge x3 into x3 the general wowwd. 
JAQUES. Why, who x3 cwies x3 out on >_< pwide 
:33 That ^.^ can thewein ÚwÚ tax xDD any >_> pwivate x3 pawty? 
^-^ Doth >w< it nyot fwow >_< as hugely >_< as x3 the :33 sea, 
Tiww :3 that x3 the wearer's xDD vewy means UwU do ^-^ ebb? 
>_> What OwO woman uWu in x3 the UwU city UwU do UwU I xDD nyame 
x3 When :3 that UwU I >_> say x3 the city-woman bears 
uWu The >_> cost of pwinces on >_< unwowthy >_> shouwdews? 
Who ^.^ can come uWu in ÚwÚ and >_> say :3 that UwU I >_> mean hew, 
x3 When xDD such :3 a one >_< as ^.^ she xDD such >_> is her nyeighbouw? 
:33 Ow >_> what >_> is ^.^ he of ^w^ basest ^.^ function 
:33 That ;;w;; says :33 his ÚwÚ bwavewy >_> is nyot on x3 my >w< cost, 
^w^ Thinking :3 that UwU I >_> mean :3 him, >_> but thewein ^w^ suits 
ÚwÚ His >w< fowwy to x3 the mettle of x3 my ÚwÚ speech? 
>_> Thewe >w< then! >w< how ^w^ then? >_> what ^w^ then? Let ;;w;; me >_> see wherein 
OwO My >_> tongue hath wrong'd :33 him: >_> if >w< it UwU do ^.^ him wight, 
UwU Then ^.^ he hath wrong'd :33 himsewf; >_> if ^.^ he be >w< fwee, 
Why xDD then x3 my :33 taxing ^.^ wike :3 a >w< wiwd-goose flies, 
^w^ Uncwaim'd of xDD any man. OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew OWWANDO with :33 his xDD swowd drawn 

>_< OWWANDO. Forbear, ÚwÚ and eat nyo more. 
JAQUES. Why, UwU I uWu have eat >_< nyonye >_> yet. 
>_< OWWANDO. x3 Nyow shalt >_> nyot, >w< tiww ;;w;; nyecessity be serv'd. 
JAQUES. Of >_> what uWu kind >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this >_> cock come UwU of? 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. Awt xDD thou OwO thus >_< bowden'd, ^w^ man, ^.^ by >w< thy distress? 
:33 Ow >_> ewse :3 a wude despisew of ÚwÚ good :3 mannyews, 
:33 That uWu in uWu civiwity xDD thou :3 seem'st UwU so empty? 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> You touch'd x3 my ;;w;; vein uWu at first: x3 the >_> thowny :33 point 
Of OwO bawe distress hath >_> ta'en from ;;w;; me x3 the x3 show 
Of x3 smooth >_< civiwity; yet arn UwU I inland bwed, 
xDD And ^.^ knyow x3 some ;;w;; nyuwtuwe. OwO But fowbeaw, UwU I say; 
>w< He dies :3 that >_> touches xDD any of ÚwÚ this ^w^ fwuit 
Tiww UwU I ÚwÚ and x3 my affairs OwO awe answered. 
JAQUES. ^-^ An xDD you xDD wiww nyot be x3 answew'd with weason, UwU I ^w^ must die. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you have? uWu Youw ^-^ gentwenyess UwU shaww force 
uWu Mowe than x3 youw force move >_> us to xDD gentwenyess. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I almost ^-^ die fow ^w^ food, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me uWu have :3 it. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. xDD Sit down ÚwÚ and UwU feed, ÚwÚ and wewcome to UwU ouw ;;w;; tabwe. 
>_< OWWANDO. ^w^ Speak xDD you UwU so ÚwÚ gentwy? ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, UwU I pray uWu you; 
UwU I xDD thought :3 that aww ^.^ things xDD had :33 been x3 savage UwU hewe, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe put UwU I on x3 the >_< countenyance 
Of xDD stewn :33 commandment. OwO But whate'er xDD you OwO awe 
:33 That uWu in ÚwÚ this desewt xDD inyaccessibwe, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the shade of ^-^ mewanchowy :3 boughs, 
>_< Wose ÚwÚ and >_> nyegwect x3 the xDD cweeping >_> houws of time; 
;;w;; If OwO evew xDD you uWu have >_> wook'd on xDD bettew uWu days, 
;;w;; If OwO evew :33 been :3 whewe UwU bewws uWu have knyoww'd to :33 chuwch, 
;;w;; If OwO evew sat uWu at xDD any ÚwÚ good :33 man's OwO feast, 
;;w;; If OwO evew from x3 youw >_> eyewids wip'd :3 a tear, 
xDD And ^.^ knyow >_> what UwU 'tis to pity ÚwÚ and be >_< pitied, 
Let ^-^ gentwenyess x3 my >w< stwong UwU enfowcement be; 
^w^ In x3 the which UwU hope UwU I blush, ÚwÚ and hide x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. ;;w;; Twue >_> is >w< it :3 that ^.^ we uWu have :3 seen xDD bettew uWu days, 
xDD And uWu have with >w< howy beww :33 been knyoww'd to :33 chuwch, 
xDD And sat uWu at ÚwÚ good men's feasts, ÚwÚ and wip'd UwU ouw eyes 
Of ^.^ dwops :3 that uWu sacwed pity hath engend'wed; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe sit xDD you down uWu in gentwenyess, 
xDD And OwO take ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ command >_> what OwO hewp ^.^ we uWu have 
:33 That to x3 youw ^-^ wanting OwO may be >_> minyist'wed. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU Then >_> but ÚwÚ fowbeaw x3 youw OwO food :3 a xDD wittwe while, 
Whiwes, ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ doe, UwU I OwO go to find x3 my ^.^ fawn, 
xDD And UwU give >w< it x3 food. >_> Thewe >_> is >w< an ;;w;; owd poor x3 man 
Who ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; me hath UwU many :3 a ÚwÚ weawy :33 step 
OwO Wimp'd uWu in puwe love; >w< tiww ^.^ he be xDD fiwst :33 suffic'd, 
xDD Oppwess'd with >w< two xDD weak uWu eviws, age ÚwÚ and hungew, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot :33 touch :3 a xDD bit. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. Go find ^.^ him OwO out. 
xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< nyothing uWu waste >w< tiww xDD you wetuwn. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I >_> thank ye; ÚwÚ and be bwest fow x3 youw ÚwÚ good comfort! 
uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. ^.^ Thou seest ^.^ we OwO awe nyot aww awonye >w< unhappy: 
This uWu wide ÚwÚ and ^-^ unyivewsaw uWu theatwe 
Presents ^.^ mowe ^.^ woefuw xDD pageants than x3 the scene 
^-^ Whewein ^.^ we :33 pway ^.^ in. 
JAQUES. All x3 the OwO wowwd's :3 a ^w^ stage, 
xDD And aww x3 the ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and x3 women mewewy pwayews; 
^-^ They uWu have uWu theiw >_> exits ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ÚwÚ entwances; 
xDD And one x3 man uWu in :33 his time plays UwU many xDD pawts, 
ÚwÚ His acts ^.^ being ÚwÚ seven :3 ages. At xDD fiwst x3 the >_< infant, 
UwU Mewwing ÚwÚ and ^w^ puking uWu in x3 the nurse's arms; 
UwU Then x3 the >_< whinying ^.^ schoow-boy, with :33 his OwO satchew 
xDD And >_< shinying mownying >w< face, xDD cweeping ^.^ wike snail 
^-^ Unwiwwingwy to school. xDD And xDD then x3 the ^.^ wuvw, 
OwO Sighing ^.^ wike furnace, with :3 a ^.^ woefuw >w< bawwad 
Made to :33 his >_< mistwess' eyebwow. UwU Then :3 a sowdiew, 
Full of ;;w;; stwange oaths, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beawded ^.^ wike x3 the pard, 
OwO Jeawous uWu in honyouw, ^.^ sudden ÚwÚ and ^w^ quick uWu in quarrel, 
UwU Seeking x3 the bubble >_< weputation 
Even uWu in x3 the >w< cannyon's xDD mouth. xDD And xDD then x3 the justice, 
^w^ In >w< faiw ;;w;; wound bewwy with ÚwÚ good ^.^ capon >w< win'd, 
With eyes severe ÚwÚ and ^w^ beawd of formal :3 cut, 
Full of uWu wise saws ÚwÚ and modern ^w^ instances; 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ he plays :33 his part. uWu The uWu sixth age ^.^ shifts 
^.^ Into x3 the lean ÚwÚ and ^-^ swippew'd ^-^ pantawoon, 
With x3 spectacwes on x3 nyose ÚwÚ and pouch on side, 
ÚwÚ His youthfuw OwO hose, weww ^.^ sav'd, :3 a wowwd ^w^ too uWu wide 
For :33 his UwU shwunk >_> shank; ÚwÚ and :33 his big xDD manwy voice, 
UwU Tuwnying again toward chiwdish treble, xDD pipes 
xDD And whistles uWu in :33 his UwU sound. UwU Wast scene of all, 
:33 That uWu ends ÚwÚ this ;;w;; stwange ;;w;; eventfuw history, 
Is second chiwdishnyess ÚwÚ and mere obwivion; 
x3 Sans teeth, x3 sans ^w^ eyes, x3 sans x3 taste, x3 sans every >_> thing. 

^.^ We-entew OWWANDO with :3 ADAM 

ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. >_< Wewcome. Set down x3 youw venerable buwden. 
xDD And wet ^.^ him OwO feed. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I >_> thank xDD you UwU most fow ^.^ him. 
uWu ADAM. ^w^ So xDD had xDD you need; 
UwU I scawce ^.^ can speak to >_> thank xDD you fow :3 mysewf. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. Wewcome; faww ;;w;; to. UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> twoubwe xDD you 
;;w;; As yet to ;;w;; question xDD you about x3 youw fortunes. 
Give >_> us x3 some >_> music; x3 and, ÚwÚ good OwO cousin, ;;w;; sing. 

OwO SONG 
Blow, blow, xDD thou winter ;;w;; wind, 
^.^ Thou awt nyot UwU so :3 unkind 
;;w;; As :33 man's x3 ingwatitude; 
x3 Thy ^.^ tooth >_> is nyot UwU so keen, 
>_< Because xDD thou awt nyot uWu seen, 
Awthough >w< thy UwU bweath be UwU wude. 
Heigh-ho! ^.^ sing heigh-ho! >w< unto x3 the green >_> howwy. 
:3 Most ÚwÚ fwiendship >_> is feigning, UwU most >w< woving mere ^w^ fowwy. 
Then, heigh-ho, x3 the >_> howwy! 
This >w< wife >_> is UwU most >w< jowwy. 

Freeze, >_> fweeze, xDD thou UwU bittew :3 sky, 
:33 That dost nyot ^-^ bite UwU so ^.^ nyigh 
;;w;; As benyefits :3 fowgot; 
;;w;; Though xDD thou x3 the watews wawp, 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ sting >_> is nyot UwU so ^-^ shawp 
;;w;; As :33 fwiend ^-^ wememb'wed not. 
Heigh-ho! ^w^ sing, &c. 

ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. ;;w;; If :3 that xDD you :3 wewe x3 the ÚwÚ good Sir ^w^ Wowwand's x3 son, 
;;w;; As xDD you uWu have whisper'd x3 faithfuwwy xDD you uWu wewe, 
xDD And >_< as >_< minye ^w^ eye xDD doth :33 his >_< effigies >_> witnyess 
:3 Most :33 twuwy >w< wimn'd ÚwÚ and UwU wiving uWu in x3 youw >w< face, 
^w^ Be :33 twuwy wewcome hithew. UwU I ^w^ am x3 the >w< Duke 
:33 That :3 wov'd x3 youw :33 fathew. uWu The residue of x3 youw fowtunye, 
Go to x3 my cave ÚwÚ and tell x3 me. ^-^ Good ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, 
^.^ Thou awt >w< wight wewcome >_< as >w< thy >_< mastew >w< is. 
Suppowt ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 the awm. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand, 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me aww x3 youw fowtunyes :33 undewstand. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE FWEDEWICK, x3 OWIVEW, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 

x3 FWEDEWICK. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> see ^.^ him since! UwU Siw, ^w^ siw, :3 that ;;w;; cannyot >w< be. 
OwO But :3 wewe UwU I nyot x3 the xDD bettew ÚwÚ pawt UwU made mercy, 
UwU I >_> shouwd nyot >_> seek >w< an absent :33 awgument 
Of x3 my UwU wevenge, xDD thou :33 pwesent. OwO But wook to >w< it: 
UwU Find x3 out >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew x3 whewesoe'ew ^.^ he is; 
;;w;; Seek ^.^ him with :33 candwe; ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him >_< dead ow UwU wiving 
OwO Within ÚwÚ this twelvemonth, ow turn xDD thou nyo ^.^ mowe 
;;w;; To >_> seek :3 a UwU wiving uWu in UwU ouw tewwitowy. 
x3 Thy ^-^ wands ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ things :3 that xDD thou dost caww ^.^ thinye 
Wowth seizure UwU do ^.^ we x3 seize x3 into UwU ouw ^.^ hands, 
Tiww xDD thou ;;w;; canst ^.^ quit uWu thee ^.^ by >w< thy brother's xDD mouth 
Of >_> what ^.^ we think OwO against thee. 
OwO OWIVEW. x3 O :3 that x3 youw >_> Highnyess UwU knyew x3 my >_< heawt uWu in x3 this! 
UwU I >_< nyevew :3 wov'd x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew uWu in x3 my life. 
x3 FWEDEWICK. uWu Mowe viwwain thou. xDD Weww, :3 push ^.^ him x3 out of uWu doows; 
xDD And wet x3 my ^w^ officews of xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
^-^ Make >w< an ^-^ extent ;;w;; upon :33 his ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and wands. 
Do ÚwÚ this expedientwy, ÚwÚ and turn ^.^ him uWu going. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew OWWANDO, with :3 a paper 

>_< OWWANDO. Hang thewe, x3 my vewse, uWu in >_> witnyess of x3 my love; 
xDD And UwU thou, >w< thwice-cwownyed xDD Queen of >w< Nyight, ;;w;; suwvey 
With >w< thy >w< chaste >_< eye, from >w< thy pawe sphewe xDD abuv, 
x3 Thy >_> huntwess' xDD nyame :3 that x3 my full >w< wife xDD doth sway. 
x3 O Rosalind! these trees UwU shaww be x3 my books, 
xDD And uWu in uWu theiw barks x3 my >_< thoughts I'll :3 chawactew, 
:33 That every ^w^ eye which uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< fowest :33 wooks 
Shall >_> see >w< thy viwtue xDD witnyess'd every x3 whewe. 
Run, uWu wun, OwO Owwando; ^w^ cawve on every tree, 
uWu The faiw, x3 the chaste, ÚwÚ and >w< unyexpwessive ^w^ she. uWu Exit 

Entew COWIN ÚwÚ and TOUCHSTONE 

CORIN. xDD And >w< how ^.^ wike xDD you ÚwÚ this shepherd's :3 wife, >_< Mastew >_< Touchstonye? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ Twuwy, shepherd, uWu in wespect of itself, >w< it >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good 
:33 wife; >_> but uWu in wespect :3 that >w< it >_> is :3 a shepherd's :3 wife, >w< it >_> is nought. 
^w^ In wespect :3 that >w< it >_> is UwU sowitawy, UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it xDD vewy well; >_> but uWu in 
wespect :3 that >w< it >_> is pwivate, >w< it >_> is :3 a xDD vewy ^-^ viwe life. Now uWu in 
wespect >w< it >_> is uWu in x3 the >w< fiewds, >w< it xDD pweaseth ;;w;; me well; >_> but uWu in wespect 
>w< it >_> is nyot uWu in x3 the xDD couwt, >w< it >_> is UwU tedious. ;;w;; As >w< it >_> is :3 a ^-^ spawe :3 wife, 
wook UwU you, >w< it ^w^ fits x3 my humouw well; >_> but >_< as there >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe pwenty 
uWu in :33 it, >w< it xDD goes much OwO against x3 my :33 stomach. Hast xDD any x3 phiwosophy uWu in 
ÚwÚ thee, :3 shephewd? 
CORIN. No ^.^ mowe >_> but :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the ^.^ mowe one UwU sickens x3 the xDD wowse uWu at 
^w^ ease ^.^ he is; ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ he :3 that wants monyey, >_< means, ÚwÚ and UwU content, >_> is 
^-^ without >w< thwee ÚwÚ good >_< fwiends; :3 that x3 the uWu pwopewty of xDD wain >_> is to uWu wet, 
ÚwÚ and fire to burn; :3 that ÚwÚ good pastuwe x3 makes :33 fat :3 sheep; ÚwÚ and :3 that :3 a 
great cause of x3 the >w< nyight >_> is ^.^ wack of x3 the sun; :3 that ^.^ he :3 that hath 
:33 weawnyed nyo wit ^.^ by ÚwÚ nyatuwe nor awt OwO may :3 compwain of ÚwÚ good uWu bweeding, 
ow x3 comes of :3 a xDD vewy dull xDD kindwed. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. >w< Such :3 a one >_> is :3 a natural ^-^ phiwosophew. UwU Wast OwO evew uWu in 
xDD couwt, :3 shephewd? 
CORIN. :3 Nyo, UwU twuwy. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. UwU Then xDD thou awt ^w^ damn'd. 
CORIN. Nyay, UwU I ^-^ hope. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ Twuwy, xDD thou awt ÚwÚ damn'd, ^.^ wike >w< an ;;w;; iww-woasted ^.^ egg, aww on 
one ^w^ side. 
CORIN. For nyot ^.^ being uWu at ^w^ couwt? uWu Youw reason. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Why, >_> if xDD thou >_< nyevew >w< wast uWu at court xDD thou >_< nyevew ^w^ saw'st ÚwÚ good 
mannyews; >_> if xDD thou >_< nyevew ^w^ saw'st ÚwÚ good :3 mannyews, xDD then >w< thy ^w^ mannyews ^w^ must 
be >_> wicked; ÚwÚ and x3 wickednyess >_> is ^w^ sin, ÚwÚ and x3 sin >_> is xDD damnyation. ^.^ Thou awt 
uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ pawwous state, ^-^ shephewd. 
CORIN. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a >_< whit, ÚwÚ Touchstonye. >w< Those :3 that OwO awe ÚwÚ good ^w^ mannyews uWu at x3 the 
court OwO awe >_< as ^w^ widicuwous uWu in x3 the countwy >_< as x3 the >_> behaviouw of x3 the 
countwy >_> is UwU most OwO mockabwe uWu at x3 the >_< couwt. >_> You told ;;w;; me xDD you OwO sawute nyot 
uWu at x3 the xDD couwt, >_> but xDD you :3 kiss x3 youw hands; :3 that >w< couwtesy ^.^ wouwd be 
UwU uncweanwy >_> if courtiers :3 wewe :33 shephewds. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ Instance, briefly; come, ^.^ instance. 
CORIN. Why, ^.^ we OwO awe still >w< handwing UwU ouw ;;w;; ewes; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw >w< fewws, xDD you 
knyow, OwO awe ^-^ gweasy. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Why, UwU do nyot x3 youw x3 couwtiew's ^.^ hands ÚwÚ sweat? xDD And >_> is nyot x3 the 
OwO gwease of :3 a UwU mutton >_< as whowesome >_< as x3 the UwU sweat of :3 a man? Shallow, 
shallow. ^-^ A xDD bettew uWu instance, UwU I say; x3 come. 
CORIN. :33 Besides, UwU ouw ^.^ hands OwO awe hard. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. uWu Youw lips xDD wiww x3 feew them x3 the soonyew. >_< Shawwow ;;w;; again. ^-^ A 
^.^ mowe sounder ;;w;; instance; x3 come. 
CORIN. xDD And ;;w;; they OwO awe often >w< taww'd uvw with x3 the ;;w;; suwgewy of UwU ouw 
:3 sheep; ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu have >_> us :3 kiss OwO taw? uWu The x3 couwtiew's ^.^ hands OwO awe 
;;w;; pewfum'd with UwU civet. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. :3 Most shallow ;;w;; man! xDD thou x3 wowm's :3 meat uWu in wespect of :3 a ÚwÚ good 
^.^ piece of >w< fwesh ^w^ indeed! ;;w;; Weawn of x3 the >_< wise, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ pewpend: xDD civet >_> is 
of :3 a baser birth than ^.^ taw- x3 the xDD vewy UwU uncweanwy xDD fwux of :3 a >_< cat. Mend 
x3 the uWu instance, ^-^ shephewd. 
CORIN. >_> You uWu have ^w^ too courtly :3 a wit fow OwO me; I'll rest. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou xDD west x3 damn'd? ^w^ God OwO hewp ÚwÚ thee, shallow ;;w;; man! ^w^ God 
>_< make ^-^ incision uWu in uWu thee! xDD thou awt waw. 
CORIN. UwU Siw, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a true ^w^ wabouwew: UwU I eawn :3 that UwU I uWu eat, get :3 that UwU I 
ÚwÚ weaw; >_> owe nyo x3 man hate, :3 envy nyo :33 man's xDD happinyess; uWu gwad of othew 
men's UwU good, :3 content with x3 my harm; ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest of x3 my >_< pwide >_> is 
to >_> see x3 my ^-^ ewes uWu gwaze ÚwÚ and x3 my lambs >_> suck. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. :33 That >_> is anyothew :33 simpwe x3 sin uWu in xDD you: to ;;w;; bwing x3 the ^-^ ewes 
ÚwÚ and x3 the wams together, ÚwÚ and to offer to get x3 youw UwU wiving ^.^ by x3 the 
copulation of xDD cattwe; to be ;;w;; bawd to :3 a ;;w;; beww-wethew, ÚwÚ and to ÚwÚ betway 
:3 a >_< she-wamb of :3 a ;;w;; twewvemonth to ÚwÚ cwooked-pated, :3 owd, :3 cuckowdwy ram, 
x3 out of aww ^.^ weasonyabwe match. ;;w;; If xDD thou UwU beest nyot damn'd fow uWu this, 
x3 the ^.^ deviw >_< himsewf xDD wiww uWu have nyo >w< shephewds; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> see >_> ewse >w< how 
xDD thou shouwdst scape. 
CORIN. :3 Hewe x3 comes xDD young >_< Mastew ^w^ Ganymede, x3 my x3 nyew x3 mistwess's ^-^ bwothew. 

Entew WOSAWIND, weading :3 a paper 

ROSALIND. UwU 'Fwom x3 the uWu east to xDD westewn Inde, 
No jewel >_> is ^.^ wike Rosalinde. 
:3 Hew ^.^ wowth, ^.^ being UwU mounted on x3 the ;;w;; wind, 
^.^ Thwough aww x3 the wowwd bears Rosalinde. 
All x3 the x3 pictuwes >_> faiwest :3 win'd 
^w^ Awe >_> but black to Rosalinde. 
Let nyo OwO face be :33 kept uWu in ^-^ mind 
OwO But x3 the >w< faiw of x3 Wosawinde.' 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. I'll ^-^ whyme xDD you UwU so eight years together, >w< dinnyews, ÚwÚ and 
suppers, ÚwÚ and x3 sweeping houws, ^w^ excepted. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the >w< wight 
butter-women's rank to market. 
ROSALIND. Out, foow! 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. For :3 a UwU taste: 
;;w;; If :3 a UwU hawt UwU do ^.^ wack :3 a >w< hind, 
Let ^.^ him >_> seek x3 out Rosalinde. 
;;w;; If x3 the :33 cat xDD wiww ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; kind, 
^w^ So be >_< suwe xDD wiww Rosalinde. 
Winter xDD gawments ^w^ must be >w< win'd, 
^w^ So ^w^ must slender Rosalinde. 
^-^ They :3 that reap ^w^ must xDD sheaf ÚwÚ and OwO bind, 
UwU Then to xDD cawt with Rosalinde. 
OwO Sweetest xDD nyut hath :3 souwest ;;w;; wind, 
>w< Such :3 a xDD nyut >_> is Rosalinde. 
>w< He :3 that ^w^ sweetest wose xDD wiww find 
:3 Must find love's uWu pwick ÚwÚ and Rosalinde. 
This >_> is x3 the xDD vewy UwU fawse uWu gawwop of verses; >w< why UwU do xDD you ÚwÚ infect 
>_> youwsewf with them? 
ROSALIND. uWu Peace, xDD you dull foow! UwU I >_> found them on :3 a :33 twee. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ Twuwy, x3 the twee yiewds :33 bad fwuit. 
ROSALIND. I'll gwaff >w< it with UwU you, ÚwÚ and xDD then UwU I UwU shaww gwaff >w< it with :3 a 
>w< medwaw. UwU Then >w< it xDD wiww be x3 the ÚwÚ eawwiest ^w^ fwuit :33 i' x3 th' country; fow 
you'ww be wotten ere xDD you be half xDD wipe, ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's x3 the >w< wight 
viwtue of x3 the >w< medwaw. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. >_> You uWu have ÚwÚ said; >_> but >w< whethew wisely ow no, wet x3 the >_< fowest 
^-^ judge. 

Entew ^w^ CEWIA, with :3 a wwiting 

ROSALIND. ;;w;; Peace! 
:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my ^-^ sistew, reading; stand xDD aside. 
>_> CEWIA. UwU 'Why >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this :3 a desewt :3 be? 
For >w< it >_> is ^w^ unpeopwed? No; 
UwU Tongues I'll ^w^ hang on every twee 
:33 That UwU shaww ÚwÚ civiw UwU sayings show. 
uWu Some, >w< how bwief x3 the >w< wife of x3 man 
;;w;; Wuns :33 his ewwing >_> piwgwimage, 
:33 That x3 the uWu stweching of :3 a xDD span 
Buckles uWu in :33 his >w< sum of >_> age; 
uWu Some, of violated x3 vows 
UwU 'Twixt x3 the >w< souws of :33 fwiend ÚwÚ and fwiend; 
OwO But ;;w;; upon x3 the >_> faiwest :3 boughs, 
:33 Ow uWu at every :33 sentence ^w^ end, 
Will UwU I Wosawinda wwite, 
Teaching aww :3 that ^w^ wead to ^.^ knyow 
uWu The uWu quintessence of every spwite 
uWu Heaven ^.^ wouwd uWu in xDD wittwe show. 
Therefore heaven ÚwÚ Nyatuwe :3 chawg'd 
:33 That one >w< body >_> shouwd be :3 fiww'd 
With aww uWu gwaces wide-enlarg'd. 
ÚwÚ Nyatuwe presently uWu distiww'd 
Helen's OwO cheek, >_> but nyot her uWu heawt, 
:3 Cweopatwa's ^.^ majesty, 
Atawanta's xDD bettew >_> pawt, 
x3 Sad Lucretia's OwO modesty. 
^-^ Thus Rosalinde of UwU many parts 
^-^ By ^-^ heavenwy ^.^ synyod UwU was ^-^ devis'd, 
Of UwU many uWu faces, ^w^ eyes, ÚwÚ and hearts, 
;;w;; To uWu have x3 the >_> touches deawest pwiz'd. 
uWu Heaven ^.^ wouwd :3 that ^.^ she these ^.^ gifts >_> shouwd have, 
xDD And UwU I to ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and ^-^ die her >_> swave.' 
ROSALIND. x3 O UwU most ^-^ gentwe puwpitew! >_> What tedious ^w^ homiwy of wuv uWu have 
xDD you weawied x3 youw UwU pawishionyews withaw, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew cried xDD 'Have 
patience, ÚwÚ good ^w^ peopwe.' 
>_> CEWIA. How >_< nyow! ^w^ Back, >_< fwiends; shepherd, OwO go x3 off :3 a UwU wittwe; OwO go with 
:3 him, sirrah. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^.^ Come, shepherd, wet >_> us >_< make >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe UwU wetweat; 
^w^ though nyot with ^-^ bag ÚwÚ and ^w^ baggage, yet with ^-^ scwip ÚwÚ and scrippage. 
Exeunt COWIN ÚwÚ and TOUCHSTONE 
>_> CEWIA. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou hear these verses? 
ROSALIND. >_< O, :3 yes, UwU I heard them all, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe :3 too; fow x3 some of them 
xDD had uWu in them ^.^ mowe ;;w;; feet than x3 the uWu vewses ^.^ wouwd bear. 
>_> CEWIA. >w< That's nyo mattew; x3 the ;;w;; feet ^w^ might UwU beaw x3 the verses. 
ROSALIND. Ay, >_> but x3 the ;;w;; feet :3 wewe ;;w;; wame, ÚwÚ and couwd nyot UwU beaw x3 themsewves 
^-^ without x3 the vewse, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe :33 stood wamewy uWu in x3 the verse. 
>_> CEWIA. OwO But :33 didst xDD thou hear ^-^ without ^w^ wondewing >w< how >w< thy xDD nyame >_> shouwd be 
:33 hang'd ÚwÚ and x3 cawved ;;w;; upon these twees? 
ROSALIND. UwU I UwU was ÚwÚ seven of x3 the >w< nyinye OwO days x3 out of x3 the wonder >w< befowe xDD you 
>_> came; fow wook OwO hewe >_> what UwU I >_> found on :3 a >_< pawm-twee. UwU I UwU was >_< nyevew UwU so 
berhym'd xDD since Pythagowas' time :3 that UwU I UwU was >w< an Irish rat, which UwU I 
^.^ can hardly ^.^ wemembew. 
>_> CEWIA. Twow xDD you who hath donye :3 this? 
ROSALIND. Is >w< it :3 a man? 
>_> CEWIA. xDD And :3 a ^w^ chain, :3 that xDD you >_> once OwO wowe, about :33 his ;;w;; nyeck. 
Change xDD you xDD cowouw? 
ROSALIND. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, >_> who? 
>_> CEWIA. x3 O Wowd, :3 Wowd! >w< it >_> is :3 a x3 hawd ;;w;; mattew fow ^w^ fwiends to ;;w;; meet; >_> but 
^-^ mountains OwO may be >w< wemov'd with eawthquakes, ÚwÚ and UwU so ÚwÚ encountew. 
ROSALIND. Nyay, >_> but who >_> is :33 it? 
>_> CEWIA. Is >w< it possible? 
ROSALIND. Nyay, UwU I :33 pwithee now, with UwU most petitionary :33 vehemence, tell 
;;w;; me who >w< it >w< is. 
>_> CEWIA. x3 O wondewfuw, wondewfuw, UwU most ;;w;; wondewfuw wondewfuw, ÚwÚ and yet 
again wondewfuw, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ aftew :3 that, x3 out of aww whooping! 
ROSALIND. ^-^ Good x3 my complexion! dost xDD thou >_< think, ^w^ though UwU I ^w^ am 
capawison'd ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ man, UwU I uWu have :3 a ^w^ doubwet ÚwÚ and >_> hose uWu in x3 my 
^w^ disposition? x3 Onye ÚwÚ inch of deway ^.^ mowe >_> is :3 a South OwO Sea of :33 discuvwy. 
UwU I :33 pwithee tell ;;w;; me who >_> is >w< it ^w^ quickwy, ÚwÚ and speak :33 apace. UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
xDD thou couwd'st stammew, :3 that xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst pouw ÚwÚ this OwO conceaw'd x3 man 
x3 out of >w< thy uWu mouth, >_< as winye x3 comes x3 out of ÚwÚ nyawwow-mouth'd ;;w;; bottwe- 
xDD eithew ^w^ too much uWu at >_> once ow >_< nyonye uWu at all. UwU I :33 pwithee OwO take x3 the cowk 
x3 out of >w< thy xDD mouth :3 that UwU I OwO may ÚwÚ dwink >w< thy UwU tidings. 
>_> CEWIA. ^w^ So xDD you OwO may put :3 a x3 man uWu in x3 youw bewwy. 
ROSALIND. Is ^.^ he of >_> God's xDD making? >_> What ^w^ mannyew of man? 
Is :33 his >_> head ^.^ wowth :3 a ^w^ hat ow :33 his ^w^ chin ^.^ wowth :3 a OwO beawd? 
>_> CEWIA. Nyay, ^.^ he hath >_> but :3 a xDD wittwe :3 beawd. 
ROSALIND. Why, ^w^ God xDD wiww >_> send ^.^ mowe >_> if x3 the x3 man xDD wiww be UwU thankfuw. Let 
;;w;; me xDD stay x3 the gwowth of :33 his UwU beawd, >_> if xDD thou deway ;;w;; me nyot x3 the 
>_< knyowwedge of :33 his chin. 
>_> CEWIA. ^.^ It >_> is xDD young >_> Owwando, :3 that ÚwÚ twipp'd x3 up x3 the ^.^ wwestwew's heels 
ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_< heawt both uWu in >w< an ^.^ instant. 
ROSALIND. Nyay, >_> but x3 the ^.^ deviw OwO take mocking! ^w^ Speak >_> sad ^w^ bwow ÚwÚ and true 
^-^ maid. 
>_> CEWIA. xDD I' ^w^ faith, x3 coz, UwU 'tis he. 
ROSALIND. Owwando? 
>_> CEWIA. Owwando. 
ROSALIND. Awas x3 the ^.^ day! >_> what UwU shaww UwU I UwU do with x3 my ^w^ doubwet ÚwÚ and uWu hose? 
>_> What uWu did ^.^ he when xDD thou ^w^ saw'st him? >_> What uWu said uWu he? How >_> wook'd uWu he? 
^-^ Whewein OwO went uWu he? >_> What x3 makes ^.^ he hewe? Did ^.^ he ^w^ ask fow me? Whewe 
remains uWu he? How pawted ^.^ he with thee? xDD And when shalt xDD thou >_> see ^.^ him 
^w^ again? Answer ;;w;; me uWu in one OwO wowd. 
>_> CEWIA. >_> You ^w^ must :3 bowwow ;;w;; me Gargantua's xDD mouth first; UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; wowd ^w^ too 
great fow xDD any xDD mouth of ÚwÚ this age's ^w^ size. ;;w;; To >_> say uWu ay ÚwÚ and nyo to these 
pawticuwaws >_> is ^.^ mowe than to answew uWu in :3 a uWu catechism. 
ROSALIND. OwO But xDD doth ^.^ he ^.^ knyow :3 that UwU I ^w^ am uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu fowest, ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 man's 
apparel? Looks ^.^ he >_< as xDD fweshwy >_< as ^.^ he uWu did x3 the day ^.^ he wrestled? 
>_> CEWIA. ^.^ It >_> is >_< as ^w^ easy to ;;w;; count >_> atomies >_< as to wesowve x3 the 
;;w;; pwopositions of :3 a lover; >_> but OwO take :3 a >_> taste of x3 my finding :3 him, ÚwÚ and 
wewish >w< it with ÚwÚ good UwU obsewvance. UwU I >_> found ^.^ him :33 undew :3 a tree, ^.^ wike :3 a 
ÚwÚ dwopp'd ÚwÚ acown. 
ROSALIND. ^.^ It OwO may weww be ^w^ caww'd Juv's tree, when >w< it ^.^ dwops fowth 
xDD such fwuit. 
>_> CEWIA. Give ;;w;; me uWu audience, ÚwÚ good UwU madam. 
ROSALIND. ;;w;; Pwoceed. 
>_> CEWIA. >_> Thewe uWu way xDD he, ;;w;; stwetch'd :3 awong ^.^ wike :3 a wounded knyight. 
ROSALIND. ;;w;; Though >w< it be pity to >_> see xDD such :3 a UwU sight, >w< it weww x3 becomes 
x3 the :33 gwound. 
>_> CEWIA. Cwy xDD 'Howwa' to >w< thy ;;w;; tongue, UwU I pwithee; >w< it ^-^ cuwvets 
^.^ unseasonyabwy. >w< He UwU was OwO fuwnyish'd ^.^ wike :3 a hunter. 
ROSALIND. >_< O, :3 ominyous! ^.^ he x3 comes to OwO kiww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
>_> CEWIA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ sing x3 my ÚwÚ song ^-^ without :3 a ;;w;; buwden; xDD thou x3 bwing'st ;;w;; me x3 out 
of x3 tunye. 
ROSALIND. Do xDD you nyot ^.^ knyow UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 woman? x3 When UwU I >_< think, UwU I ^w^ must >_< speak. 
OwO Sweet, >_> say :3 on. 
>_> CEWIA. >_> You ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me OwO out. ;;w;; Soft! x3 comes ^.^ he nyot hewe? 

Entew OWWANDO ÚwÚ and JAQUES 

ROSALIND. 'Tis he; swink UwU by, ÚwÚ and ^-^ nyote ^.^ him. 
JAQUES. UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw company; but, ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, UwU I xDD had >_< as 
UwU wief uWu have :33 been mysewf >_< awonye. 
>_< OWWANDO. xDD And UwU so xDD had x3 I; >_> but ^w^ yet, fow fashion ^w^ sake, UwU I >_> thank xDD you ^w^ too 
fow x3 youw ÚwÚ society. 
JAQUES. ^w^ God UwU buy uWu you; >_> wet's :3 meet >_< as xDD wittwe >_< as ^.^ we ;;w;; can. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe ^.^ we OwO may be xDD bettew x3 stwangews. 
JAQUES. UwU I pray xDD you >_> maw nyo ^.^ mowe trees with wwiting wuv songs uWu in 
uWu theiw :33 bawks. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I pray xDD you >_> maw nyo ^.^ mowe of x3 my uWu vewses with weading them 
ill-favouredly. 
JAQUES. >_> Wosawind >_> is x3 youw love's :3 nyame? 
>_< OWWANDO. Yes, ;;w;; just. 
JAQUES. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike her nyame. 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> Thewe UwU was nyo xDD thought of pweasing xDD you when ^.^ she UwU was 
^w^ chwisten'd. 
JAQUES. >_> What statuwe >_> is ^.^ she UwU of? 
>_< OWWANDO. ;;w;; Just >_< as xDD high >_< as x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
JAQUES. >_> You OwO awe full of OwO pwetty answers. :3 Have xDD you nyot :33 been 
>_> acquainted with goldsmiths' ^-^ wives, ÚwÚ and xDD conn'd them x3 out of rings? 
>_< OWWANDO. ÚwÚ Nyot so; >_> but UwU I answew xDD you >w< wight painted >_< cwoth, from >_> whence 
xDD you uWu have xDD studied x3 youw :3 questions. 
JAQUES. >_> You uWu have :3 a >_< nyimbwe >_> wit; UwU I think uWu 'twas UwU made of Atawanta's 
xDD heews. Will xDD you sit down with me? ÚwÚ and ^.^ we >w< two xDD wiww waiw OwO against 
UwU ouw mistwess x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ÚwÚ and aww UwU ouw OwO misewy. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I xDD wiww UwU chide nyo breather uWu in x3 the wowwd >_> but myself, OwO against 
ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU most x3 fauwts. 
JAQUES. uWu The worst ;;w;; fauwt xDD you uWu have >_> is to be uWu in love. 
>_< OWWANDO. 'Tis :3 a ;;w;; fauwt UwU I xDD wiww nyot change fow x3 youw best ÚwÚ viwtue. UwU I ^w^ am 
ÚwÚ weawy of OwO you. 
JAQUES. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU I UwU was UwU seeking fow :3 a >w< foow when UwU I >_> found OwO you. 
>_< OWWANDO. >w< He >_> is >w< dwown'd uWu in x3 the :3 bwook; wook >_> but x3 in, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww >_> see 
^.^ him. 
JAQUES. >_> Thewe UwU I UwU shaww >_> see >_< minye UwU own ^.^ figuwe. 
>_< OWWANDO. >_< Which UwU I OwO take to be xDD eithew :3 a >w< foow ow :3 a x3 ciphew. 
JAQUES. I'll ^.^ tawwy nyo longer with uWu you; farewell, ÚwÚ good :33 Signyiow Love. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad of x3 youw ;;w;; depawtuwe; adieu, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; Monsieuw 
Mewanchowy. 
uWu Exit JAQUES 
ROSALIND. ^-^ [Aside to UwU CEWIA] UwU I xDD wiww speak to ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ saucy >w< wackey, 
ÚwÚ and :33 undew :3 that OwO habit :33 pway x3 the x3 knyave with OwO him.- Do xDD you heaw, 
uWu fowestew? 
>_< OWWANDO. Very well; >_> what ^.^ wouwd you? 
ROSALIND. UwU I pray UwU you, >_> what :3 is't >_< o'cwock? 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> You >_> shouwd ^w^ ask ;;w;; me >_> what time ^.^ o' uWu day; there's nyo >w< cwock uWu in 
x3 the ^.^ fowest. 
ROSALIND. UwU Then there >_> is nyo true wuvw uWu in x3 the uWu fowest, >_> ewse ^-^ sighing 
every minyute ÚwÚ and ;;w;; gwoanying every >_> houw ^.^ wouwd detect x3 the lazy :33 foot 
of ^-^ Time >_< as weww >_< as :3 a ^.^ cwock. 
>_< OWWANDO. xDD And >w< why nyot x3 the UwU swift :33 foot of ^w^ Time? xDD Had nyot :3 that :33 been >_< as 
;;w;; pwopew? 
ROSALIND. ^-^ By nyo >_< means, sir. ^-^ Time ^w^ twavews uWu in divers paces with 
divers ÚwÚ pewsons. I'll tell xDD you who ^-^ Time :3 ambwes withaw, who ^-^ Time 
twots withaw, who ^-^ Time gallops withaw, ÚwÚ and who ^.^ he >w< stands still 
uWu withaw. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, who xDD doth ^.^ he trot uWu withaw? 
ROSALIND. OwO Mawwy, ^.^ he twots x3 hawd with :3 a xDD young >_< maid ^-^ between x3 the 
ÚwÚ contwact of her ^.^ mawwiage ÚwÚ and x3 the day >w< it >_> is :33 sowemnyiz'd; >_> if x3 the 
intewim be >_> but :3 a se'nnight, ÚwÚ Time's >_> pace >_> is UwU so x3 hawd :3 that >w< it ;;w;; seems 
x3 the :33 wength of ÚwÚ seven year. 
>_< OWWANDO. Who :3 ambwes ^-^ Time uWu withaw? 
ROSALIND. With :3 a priest :3 that lacks ;;w;; Watin ÚwÚ and :3 a rich x3 man :3 that hath 
nyot x3 the OwO gout; fow x3 the one sweeps easily uWu because ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot ^-^ study, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the othew ;;w;; wives ÚwÚ mewwiwy uWu because ^.^ he feews nyo pain; x3 the one 
>_> wacking x3 the buwden of lean ÚwÚ and ^w^ wastefuw ^w^ weawnying, x3 the othew 
x3 knyowing nyo buwden of x3 heavy tedious ;;w;; penyuwy. ;;w;; These ^-^ Time :3 ambwes 
uWu withaw. 
>_< OWWANDO. Who xDD doth ^.^ he uWu gawwop uWu withaw? 
ROSALIND. With :3 a UwU thief to x3 the gallows; fow ^w^ though ^.^ he OwO go >_< as softly 
>_< as :33 foot ^.^ can ^.^ faww, ^.^ he ^w^ thinks >_< himsewf ^w^ too >w< soon :33 thewe. 
>_< OWWANDO. Who uWu stays >w< it still uWu withaw? 
ROSALIND. With uWu wawyews uWu in x3 the vacation; fow ;;w;; they :33 sweep ^-^ between term 
ÚwÚ and term, ÚwÚ and xDD then ;;w;; they >_> pewceive nyot >w< how ^-^ Time moves. 
>_< OWWANDO. Whewe dwell UwU you, OwO pwetty >_> youth? 
ROSALIND. With ÚwÚ this shepherdess, x3 my x3 sistew; OwO hewe uWu in x3 the skiwts of 
x3 the uWu fowest, ^.^ wike uWu fwinge ;;w;; upon :3 a uWu petticoat. 
>_< OWWANDO. ^w^ Awe xDD you OwO nyative of ÚwÚ this :3 pwace? 
ROSALIND. ;;w;; As x3 the >w< conyey :3 that xDD you >_> see dwell :3 whewe ^.^ she >_> is xDD kindwed. 
>_< OWWANDO. uWu Youw xDD accent >_> is ^-^ something finer than xDD you couwd puwchase uWu in 
UwU so removed :3 a :3 dwewwing. 
ROSALIND. UwU I uWu have :33 been told UwU so of UwU many; >_> but ÚwÚ indeed >w< an ;;w;; owd religious 
:33 uncwe of >_< minye ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me to :3 speak, who UwU was uWu in :33 his :33 youth >w< an inland 
xDD man; one :3 that UwU knyew OwO couwtship ^w^ too weww, fow there ^.^ he UwU feww uWu in love. 
UwU I uWu have heard ^.^ him ^w^ wead UwU many lectures OwO against uWu it; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> thank ^w^ God UwU I 
^w^ am nyot :3 a ^w^ woman, to be touch'd with UwU so UwU many ^-^ giddy :3 offences >_< as ^.^ he 
hath ÚwÚ genyewawwy x3 tax'd uWu theiw whole sex uWu withaw. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU Can xDD you remember xDD any of x3 the principal ;;w;; eviws :3 that ^.^ he laid 
to x3 the :3 chawge of :3 women? 
ROSALIND. >_> Thewe :3 wewe >_< nyonye >_> pwincipaw; ;;w;; they :3 wewe aww ^.^ wike one anyothew 
>_< as ÚwÚ hawfpence >_< awe; every one ;;w;; fauwt ÚwÚ seeming monstwous >w< tiww :33 his 
fellow-fault ^-^ came to >_< match :3 it. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I :33 pwithee ^w^ wecount x3 some of OwO them. 
ROSALIND. No; UwU I xDD wiww nyot ;;w;; cast OwO away x3 my ;;w;; physic >_> but on UwU those :3 that OwO awe 
;;w;; sick. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a x3 man haunts x3 the >_< fowest :3 that abuses UwU ouw xDD young 
x3 pwants with >w< cawving ÚwÚ 'Wosawind' on uWu theiw barks; uWu hangs ^w^ odes ;;w;; upon 
hawthowns ÚwÚ and ;;w;; ewegies on uWu bwambwes; all, xDD fowsooth, ^-^ deifying x3 the 
xDD nyame of :3 Wosawind. ;;w;; If UwU I couwd :3 meet :3 that fancy-monger, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU give 
^.^ him x3 some ÚwÚ good counsew, fow ^.^ he ;;w;; seems to uWu have x3 the xDD quotidian of wuv 
;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ he :3 that >_> is UwU so :33 wuv-shak'd; UwU I pray xDD you tell ;;w;; me x3 youw 
UwU wemedy. 
ROSALIND. >_> Thewe >_> is >_< nyonye of x3 my ^-^ uncwe's >w< mawks ;;w;; upon uWu you; ^.^ he ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me 
>w< how to ^.^ knyow :3 a x3 man uWu in love; uWu in which cage of wushes UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you 
OwO awe nyot ^w^ pwisonyew. 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> What :3 wewe :33 his marks? 
ROSALIND. ^-^ A lean OwO cheek, which xDD you uWu have x3 nyot; :3 a blue ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and OwO sunken, 
which xDD you uWu have x3 nyot; >w< an ÚwÚ unquestionyabwe ^-^ spiwit, which xDD you uWu have x3 nyot; 
:3 a ^w^ beawd OwO nyegwected, which xDD you uWu have x3 nyot; >_> but UwU I UwU pawdon xDD you fow :3 that, 
fow simply x3 youw xDD having uWu in ^w^ beawd >_> is :3 a :3 youngew brother's ^w^ wevenyue. 
UwU Then x3 youw >_> hose >_> shouwd be OwO ungawtew'd, x3 youw :3 bonnyet *sweats* unbanded, x3 youw 
>_> sweeve unbutton'd, x3 youw >w< shoe xDD untied, ÚwÚ and every ^.^ thing about xDD you 
xDD demonstwating :3 a xDD cawewess desolation. OwO But xDD you OwO awe nyo xDD such xDD man; xDD you 
OwO awe rather >w< point-device uWu in x3 youw OwO accoutwements, >_< as >w< woving >_> youwsewf 
than ÚwÚ seeming x3 the wuvw of xDD any :3 othew. 
>_< OWWANDO. Faiw youth, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I couwd >_< make uWu thee ^-^ bewieve UwU I love. 
ROSALIND. x3 Me ^-^ bewieve :3 it! >_> You OwO may >_< as >w< soon >_< make her :3 that xDD you wuv 
^-^ bewieve uWu it; ^w^ which, UwU I warrant, ^.^ she >_> is ÚwÚ aptew to UwU do than to x3 confess 
^.^ she does. :33 That >_> is one of x3 the x3 points uWu in x3 the which x3 women still UwU give 
x3 the >_< wie to uWu theiw ^-^ consciences. But, uWu in ÚwÚ good sooth, OwO awe xDD you ^.^ he :3 that 
uWu hangs x3 the uWu vewses on x3 the trees wherein >_> Wosawind >_> is UwU so admiwed? 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I >_< sweaw to ÚwÚ thee, youth, ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ white uWu hand of :33 Wosawind, UwU I 
^w^ am :3 that xDD he, :3 that :33 unfowtunyate he. 
ROSALIND. OwO But OwO awe xDD you UwU so much uWu in wuv >_< as x3 youw rhymes x3 speak? 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> Nyeithew ^-^ whyme nor reason ^.^ can express >w< how :33 much. 
ROSALIND. Wuv >_> is mewewy :3 a xDD madnyess; x3 and, UwU I tell UwU you, >_> desewves >_< as 
weww :3 a dark ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and :3 a whip >_< as OwO madmen do; ÚwÚ and x3 the reason >w< why 
;;w;; they OwO awe nyot UwU so punyish'd ÚwÚ and cured >_> is :3 that x3 the ;;w;; wunyacy >_> is UwU so 
ordinary :3 that x3 the x3 whippews OwO awe uWu in wuv UwU too. ÚwÚ Yet UwU I pwofess :3 cuwing 
>w< it ^.^ by :3 counsew. 
>_< OWWANDO. Did xDD you OwO evew >w< cuwe xDD any so? 
ROSALIND. Yes, onye; ÚwÚ and uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ mannyew. >w< He UwU was to imagine ;;w;; me :33 his 
xDD wuv, :33 his mistress; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu set ^.^ him every day to ^.^ woo OwO me; uWu at which 
time ^.^ wouwd I, ^.^ being >_> but :3 a moonish youth, UwU gwieve, be effeminate, 
:3 changeabwe, OwO wonging ÚwÚ and x3 wiking, :3 pwoud, >w< fantasticaw, ^w^ apish, 
^w^ shawwow, inconstant, full of ^-^ teaws, full of ÚwÚ smiwes; fow every 
passion ^-^ something ÚwÚ and fow nyo passion :33 twuwy anything, >_< as >_< boys ÚwÚ and 
x3 women OwO awe fow x3 the UwU most ÚwÚ pawt cattle of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; cowouw; ^.^ wouwd nyow ^.^ wike 
:3 him, nyow ^-^ woathe him; xDD then entertain :3 him, xDD then >w< fowsweaw him; nyow 
xDD weep fow :3 him, xDD then spit uWu at him; :3 that UwU I x3 dwave x3 my suitor from :33 his 
^-^ mad humouw of wuv to :3 a UwU wiving humouw of xDD madnyess; which UwU was, to 
>w< fowsweaw x3 the full stweam of x3 the wowwd ÚwÚ and to ^w^ wive uWu in :3 a nyook 
mewewy monastic. xDD And OwO thus UwU I ^w^ cuw'd him; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this uWu way xDD wiww UwU I OwO take 
;;w;; upon ;;w;; me to >_< wash x3 youw wivew >_< as x3 cwean >_< as :3 a >_> sound sheep's uWu heawt, 
:3 that there UwU shaww nyot be one ^w^ spot of wuv uWu in :3 't. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be xDD cuwed, >_< youth. 
ROSALIND. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< cuwe UwU you, >_> if xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_> but caww ;;w;; me :33 Wosawind, ÚwÚ and 
come every day to x3 my x3 cote ÚwÚ and ^.^ woo x3 me. 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the :33 faith of x3 my xDD wuv, UwU I :33 wiww. Teww ;;w;; me :3 whewe >w< it >w< is. 
ROSALIND. Go with ;;w;; me to :33 it, ÚwÚ and I'll x3 show >w< it uWu you; x3 and, ^.^ by x3 the :3 way, 
xDD you UwU shaww tell ;;w;; me :3 whewe uWu in x3 the >_< fowest xDD you wive. Will xDD you >w< go? 
>_< OWWANDO. With aww x3 my uWu heawt, ÚwÚ good >_< youth. 
ROSALIND. Nyay, xDD you ^w^ must caww ;;w;; me :3 Wosawind. ^.^ Come, ^-^ sistew, xDD wiww xDD you 
>w< go? Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew TOUCHSTONE ÚwÚ and AUDREY; JAQUES x3 behind 

x3 TOUCHSTONyE. :3 Come xDD apace, ÚwÚ good UwU Audwey; UwU I xDD wiww :3 fetch x3 up x3 youw ^.^ goats, 
uWu Audwey. xDD And how, Audwey, ^w^ am UwU I x3 the x3 man :33 yet? ^-^ Doth x3 my :33 simpwe :33 featuwe 
:3 content you? 
uWu AUDWEY. uWu Youw >_> featuwes! Lord :33 wawwant ÚwÚ us! >_> What OwO featuwes? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. UwU I ^w^ am OwO hewe with uWu thee ÚwÚ and >w< thy ^.^ goats, >_< as x3 the UwU most 
;;w;; capwicious ^-^ poet, xDD honyest ÚwÚ Ovid, UwU was ^-^ among x3 the uWu Goths. 
JAQUES. :3 [Aside] x3 O >_< knyowwedge iww-inhabited, xDD wowse than Juv uWu in :3 a 
>w< thatch'd house! 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. x3 When :3 a :33 man's uWu vewses ;;w;; cannyot be understood, nor :3 a :33 man's 
ÚwÚ good wit :33 seconded with x3 the forward chiwd ^.^ undewstanding, >w< it 
:33 stwikes :3 a x3 man ^.^ mowe >_< dead than :3 a great reckoning uWu in :3 a xDD wittwe uWu woom. 
^-^ Twuwy, UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 the gods xDD had UwU made uWu thee poeticaw. 
uWu AUDWEY. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow >_> what UwU 'poeticaw' >w< is. Is >w< it xDD honyest uWu in ^.^ deed ÚwÚ and 
word? Is >w< it :3 a true ;;w;; thing? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ twuwy; fow x3 the uWu twuest poetry >_> is x3 the UwU most feigning, 
ÚwÚ and ^w^ wuvws OwO awe UwU given to poetwy; ÚwÚ and >_> what ;;w;; they >_< sweaw uWu in poetry OwO may 
be uWu said >_< as ^w^ wuvws ;;w;; they UwU do :3 feign. 
uWu AUDWEY. Do xDD you wish, >w< then, :3 that x3 the gods xDD had UwU made ;;w;; me UwU poeticaw? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. UwU I UwU do, OwO twuwy, fow xDD thou >_< sweaw'st to ;;w;; me xDD thou awt xDD honyest; 
now, >_> if xDD thou OwO wewt :3 a ^-^ poet, UwU I ^w^ might uWu have x3 some UwU hope xDD thou :33 didst 
:3 feign. 
uWu AUDWEY. Wouwd xDD you nyot uWu have ;;w;; me honest? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. :3 Nyo, OwO twuwy, ^w^ unwess xDD thou OwO wewt :3 hawd-favouw'd; fow honesty 
coupwed to beauty >_> is to uWu have honey :3 a UwU sauce to >_< sugaw. 
JAQUES. :3 [Aside] ^-^ A matewiaw foow! 
uWu AUDWEY. xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ am nyot fair; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU I pray x3 the gods >_< make ;;w;; me 
honest. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ Twuwy, ÚwÚ and to ;;w;; cast OwO away honesty ;;w;; upon :3 a fouw swut :3 wewe 
to put ÚwÚ good :3 meat x3 into >w< an uncwean dish. 
uWu AUDWEY. UwU I ^w^ am nyot :3 a slut, ^w^ though UwU I >_> thank x3 the gods UwU I ^w^ am fouw. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. xDD Weww, pwaised be x3 the gods fow >w< thy >_< fouwnyess; 
sluttishness OwO may come x3 heweaftew. OwO But be >w< it >_< as >w< it OwO may be, UwU I xDD wiww 
marry ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and to :3 that >w< end UwU I uWu have :33 been with Sir ^.^ Owivew ^w^ Mawtext, 
x3 the vicaw of x3 the :3 nyext viwwage, who hath pwomis'd to :3 meet ;;w;; me uWu in 
ÚwÚ this :33 pwace of x3 the uWu fowest, ÚwÚ and to coupwe >_> us. 
JAQUES. :3 [Aside] UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain >_> see ÚwÚ this :3 meeting. 
uWu AUDWEY. xDD Weww, x3 the gods UwU give >_> us >_< joy! 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ÚwÚ Amen. ^-^ A x3 man may, >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe of :3 a x3 feawfuw uWu heawt, ÚwÚ staggew 
uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< attempt; fow OwO hewe ^.^ we uWu have nyo OwO tempwe >_> but x3 the wood, nyo 
assembly >_> but xDD hown-beasts. OwO But >_> what UwU though? Courage! ;;w;; As >w< howns OwO awe 
odious, ;;w;; they OwO awe ^w^ nyecessawy. ^.^ It >_> is said: 'Many :3 a x3 man xDD knyows nyo >w< end 
of :33 his ^.^ goods.' x3 Wight! xDD Many :3 a x3 man >_> has ÚwÚ good >w< howns ÚwÚ and xDD knyows nyo >w< end 
of OwO them. xDD Weww, :3 that >_> is x3 the ^.^ dowwy of :33 his :33 wife; UwU 'tis >_< nyonye of :33 his 
UwU own ;;w;; getting. Horns? Even :3 so. OwO Poow ;;w;; men awonye? :3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; x3 the uWu nyobwest 
>w< deew hath them >_< as >_> huge >_< as x3 the ^w^ wascaw. Is x3 the :3 singwe x3 man >_< thewefowe 
bwessed? No; >_< as :3 a ^w^ waww'd :33 town >_> is ^.^ mowe wowthiew than :3 a viwwage, UwU so 
>_> is x3 the forehead of :3 a mawwied x3 man ^.^ mowe ^.^ honyouwabwe than x3 the OwO bawe 
^w^ bwow of :3 a bachewow; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by >w< how much x3 defence >_> is xDD bettew than nyo 
^-^ skiww, ^.^ by UwU so much >_> is >_> hown ^.^ mowe >_< pwecious than to :33 want. :3 Hewe x3 comes 
Sir ;;w;; Owivew. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW ÚwÚ OWIVEW MAWTEXT 

Sir ^.^ Owivew ^w^ Mawtext, xDD you OwO awe weww ÚwÚ met. Will xDD you dispatch >_> us OwO hewe 
:33 undew ÚwÚ this tree, ow UwU shaww ^.^ we OwO go with xDD you to x3 youw uWu chapew? 
xDD MAWTEXT. Is there >_< nyonye OwO hewe to UwU give x3 the x3 woman? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO take her on ^w^ gift of xDD any man. 
xDD MAWTEXT. ^-^ Twuwy, ^.^ she ^w^ must be ^w^ given, ow x3 the ^.^ mawwiage >_> is nyot wawfuw. 
JAQUES. ;;w;; [Discuvwing uWu himsewf] Proceed, :33 pwoceed; I'll UwU give her. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ even, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew :33 What-ye-caww't; >w< how UwU do UwU you, UwU siw? 
>_> You OwO awe xDD vewy weww ÚwÚ met. Goddiwd xDD you fow x3 youw >w< wast UwU company. UwU I ^w^ am 
xDD vewy uWu gwad to >_> see OwO you. Even :3 a uWu toy uWu in uWu hand UwU hewe, sir. Nyay; pray be 
cover'd. 
JAQUES. Will xDD you be >w< mawwied, motley? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ;;w;; As x3 the :33 ox hath :33 his UwU bow, ^w^ siw, x3 the UwU howse :33 his ;;w;; cuwb, ÚwÚ and 
x3 the fawcon her OwO bewws, UwU so x3 man hath :33 his desires; ÚwÚ and >_< as ÚwÚ pigeons 
bill, UwU so wedlock ^.^ wouwd be :3 nyibbwing. 
JAQUES. xDD And xDD wiww UwU you, ^.^ being :3 a x3 man of x3 youw uWu bweeding, be mawwied 
:33 undew :3 a ^-^ bush, ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ beggaw? >_< Get xDD you to ^-^ chuwch ÚwÚ and uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ good 
priest :3 that ^.^ can tell xDD you >_> what ^.^ mawwiage is; ÚwÚ this fewwow xDD wiww >_> but 
^w^ join xDD you togethew >_< as ;;w;; they ^w^ join ^-^ wainscot; xDD then one of xDD you xDD wiww 
^-^ pwuv :3 a UwU shwunk panel, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike green ;;w;; timbew wawp, ;;w;; wawp. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. :3 [Aside] UwU I ^w^ am nyot uWu in x3 the ^-^ mind >_> but UwU I :3 wewe xDD bettew to be 
mawwied of ^.^ him than of another; fow ^.^ he >_> is nyot ^.^ wike to marry ;;w;; me 
well; ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ being weww >w< mawwied, >w< it xDD wiww be :3 a ÚwÚ good UwU excuse fow ;;w;; me 
heweaftew to OwO weave x3 my x3 wife. 
JAQUES. Go xDD thou with uWu me, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me counsel thee. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^.^ Come, x3 sweet UwU Audwey; 
We ^w^ must be mawwied ow ^.^ we ^w^ must ^w^ wive uWu in ÚwÚ bawdwy. 
UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew ;;w;; Owivew. >_> Nyot- 
x3 O x3 sweet UwU Owivew, 
x3 O >_< bwave UwU Owivew, 
Weave ;;w;; me nyot x3 behind thee. 
But- 
uWu Wind away, 
^-^ Begonye, UwU I say, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot to ÚwÚ wedding with thee. 
Exeunt >w< JAQUES, ;;w;; TOUCHSTONyE, ÚwÚ and AUDWEY 
xDD MAWTEXT. 'Tis nyo mattew; ^w^ nye'ew :3 a OwO fantasticaw x3 knyave of them aww 
UwU shaww fwout ;;w;; me x3 out of x3 my :3 cawwing. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew ROSALIND ÚwÚ and xDD CEWIA 

ROSALIND. xDD Nyevew tawk to OwO me; UwU I xDD wiww >_> weep. 
>_> CEWIA. UwU Do, UwU I pwithee; >_> but yet uWu have x3 the xDD gwace to OwO considew :3 that tears 
UwU do nyot :33 become :3 a man. 
ROSALIND. OwO But uWu have UwU I nyot cause to ^w^ weep? 
>_> CEWIA. ;;w;; As ÚwÚ good cause >_< as one ^.^ wouwd desire; >_< thewefowe >_> weep. 
ROSALIND. ÚwÚ His xDD vewy >_< haiw >_> is of x3 the dissembling :3 cowouw. 
>_> CEWIA. xDD Something >w< bwownyew than Judas's. 
OwO Mawwy, :33 his ^-^ kisses OwO awe xDD Judas's UwU own >_< chiwdwen. 
ROSALIND. xDD I' ^w^ faith, :33 his >_< haiw >_> is of :3 a ÚwÚ good :3 cowouw. 
>_> CEWIA. ^-^ An :3 excewwent cowouw: x3 youw chestnut UwU was OwO evew x3 the >w< onwy :3 cowouw. 
ROSALIND. xDD And :33 his xDD kissing >_> is >_< as full of xDD sanctity >_< as x3 the :33 touch of 
>w< howy bread. 
>_> CEWIA. >w< He hath xDD bought :3 a :33 paiw of ;;w;; cast lips of :3 Dianya. ^-^ A nun of 
winter's ÚwÚ sistewhood ^-^ kisses nyot ^.^ mowe xDD wewigiouswy; x3 the xDD vewy :3 ice of 
ÚwÚ chastity >_> is uWu in OwO them. 
ROSALIND. OwO But >w< why uWu did ^.^ he >_< sweaw ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd come ÚwÚ this UwU mownying, ÚwÚ and 
x3 comes ^w^ nyot? 
>_> CEWIA. Nyay, certainly, there >_> is nyo uWu twuth uWu in ^.^ him. 
ROSALIND. Do xDD you think so? 
>_> CEWIA. Yes; UwU I think ^.^ he >_> is nyot :3 a ^w^ pick-puwse nor :3 a horse-stealer; >_> but 
fow :33 his ^w^ vewity uWu in xDD wuv, UwU I UwU do think ^.^ him >_< as ;;w;; concave >_< as covered 
UwU gobwet ow :3 a worm-eaten ;;w;; nyut. 
ROSALIND. ÚwÚ Nyot true uWu in love? 
>_> CEWIA. Yes, when ^.^ he >_> is UwU in; >_> but UwU I think ^.^ he >_> is nyot ^.^ in. 
ROSALIND. >_> You uWu have heard ^.^ him >_< sweaw downwight ^.^ he uWu was. 
>_> CEWIA. ^.^ 'Was' >_> is nyot ;;w;; 'is'; >_< besides, x3 the ^-^ oath of :3 a wuvw >_> is nyo 
stronger than x3 the ;;w;; wowd of :3 a ^-^ tapstew; ;;w;; they OwO awe both x3 the ^w^ confiwmew 
of UwU fawse ;;w;; weckonyings. >w< He ^.^ attends OwO hewe uWu in x3 the >_< fowest on x3 the ;;w;; Duke, 
x3 youw :33 fathew. 
ROSALIND. UwU I >w< met x3 the >w< Duke ^.^ yestewday, ÚwÚ and xDD had much ;;w;; question with ^.^ him. 
>w< He asked ;;w;; me of >_> what parentage UwU I OwO was; UwU I told :3 him, of >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as 
he; UwU so ^.^ he >_< waugh'd ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ go. OwO But >_> what tawk ^.^ we of uWu fathews when 
there >_> is xDD such :3 a x3 man >_< as Owwando? 
>_> CEWIA. >_< O, ^w^ that's :3 a >_< bwave ;;w;; man! >w< He >_< wwites >_< bwave ^w^ vewses, xDD speaks >_< bwave 
wowds, ÚwÚ sweaws >_< bwave oaths, ÚwÚ and >_< bweaks them bwavewy, quite 
uWu twavewse, :3 athwawt x3 the >_< heawt of :33 his lover; >_< as :3 a >_< puny tiwtew, :3 that 
:33 spuws :33 his UwU howse >_> but on one side, >_< bweaks :33 his uWu staff ^.^ wike :3 a x3 nyobwe 
>_< goose. OwO But aww's >_< bwave :3 that :33 youth ^-^ mounts ÚwÚ and >w< fowwy uWu guides. Who 
x3 comes hewe? 

Entew COWIN 

CORIN. Mistress ÚwÚ and ^.^ mastew, xDD you uWu have ;;w;; oft enquiwed 
>w< Aftew x3 the xDD shephewd :3 that ^.^ compwain'd of xDD wuv, 
Who xDD you saw :3 sitting ^.^ by ;;w;; me on x3 the tuwf, 
>_< Pwaising x3 the OwO pwoud uWu disdainfuw ;;w;; shephewdess 
:33 That UwU was :33 his ^w^ mistwess. 
>_> CEWIA. xDD Weww, ÚwÚ and >_> what of him? 
CORIN. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww >_> see :3 a pageant :33 twuwy pway'd 
Between x3 the pawe >_< compwexion of true wuv 
xDD And x3 the red glow of ^w^ scown ÚwÚ and OwO pwoud OwO disdain, 
Go >w< hence :3 a UwU wittwe, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU shaww ÚwÚ conduct UwU you, 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww mark :3 it. 
ROSALIND. >_< O, come, wet >_> us x3 wemuv! 
uWu The ^.^ sight of ^w^ wuvws xDD feedeth UwU those uWu in love. 
Bring >_> us to ÚwÚ this UwU sight, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww >_> say 
I'll ^-^ pwuv :3 a >w< busy :33 actow uWu in uWu theiw play. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< fowest 

Entew OwO SIWVIUS ÚwÚ and ^w^ PHEBE 

^.^ SIWVIUS. ÚwÚ Sweet ^-^ Phebe, UwU do nyot ^w^ scown OwO me; UwU do >_> nyot, UwU Phebe. 
x3 Say :3 that xDD you wuv ;;w;; me x3 nyot; >_> but >_> say nyot UwU so 
^w^ In >_> bittewnyess. uWu The ^w^ common uWu executionyew, 
>_< Whose >_< heawt x3 th' ^.^ accustom'd ^.^ sight of :33 death x3 makes hawd, 
Fawws nyot x3 the axe ;;w;; upon x3 the ^.^ humbwed x3 nyeck 
OwO But xDD fiwst begs pardon. Will xDD you sterner be 
Than ^.^ he :3 that dies ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wives ^.^ by bwoody OwO dwops? 

Entew WOSAWIND, ^w^ CEWIA, ÚwÚ and COWIN, uWu at :3 a ^w^ distance 

>_< PHEBE. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be >w< thy executioner; 
UwU I fwy ÚwÚ thee, fow UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot :3 injuwe thee. 
^.^ Thou ^.^ teww'st ;;w;; me there >_> is murder uWu in >_< minye :33 eye. 
'Tis pretty, x3 suwe, ÚwÚ and xDD vewy pwobabwe, 
:33 That ^w^ eyes, :3 that OwO awe x3 the fwaiw'st ÚwÚ and x3 softest :3 things, 
Who shut uWu theiw x3 cowawd :3 gates on ;;w;; atomies, 
Should be ^w^ caww'd x3 tywants, ÚwÚ butchews, muwdewews! 
Now UwU I UwU do fwown on uWu thee with aww x3 my heawt; 
xDD And >_> if >_< minye eyes ^.^ can ^-^ wound, nyow wet them OwO kiww thee. 
Now OwO countewfeit to UwU swoon; >w< why, nyow faww down; 
:3 Ow, >_> if xDD thou ;;w;; canst >_> nyot, >_< O, fow UwU shame, fow UwU shame, 
Lie >_> nyot, to >_> say >_< minye eyes OwO awe muwdewews. 
Now x3 show x3 the ;;w;; wound >_< minye ^w^ eye hath UwU made uWu in thee. 
;;w;; Scwatch uWu thee >_> but with :3 a :3 pin, ÚwÚ and there remains 
;;w;; Some ^-^ scaw of uWu it; lean ;;w;; upon :3 a rush, 
uWu The cicatrice ÚwÚ and capabwe xDD impwessuwe 
x3 Thy ^.^ pawm x3 some x3 moment keeps; >_> but nyow >_< minye ^w^ eyes, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have ^-^ dawted uWu at ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ huwt uWu thee x3 nyot; 
Nor, UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, there >_> is nyot force uWu in eyes 
:33 That ^.^ can UwU do x3 huwt. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. x3 O uWu deaw ^-^ Phebe, 
;;w;; If OwO evew- >_< as :3 that OwO evew OwO may be near- 
>_> You :3 meet uWu in x3 some >w< fwesh >_< cheek x3 the powew of >_> fancy, 
UwU Then UwU shaww xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 the wounds invisible 
:33 That love's >_> keen x3 awwows >_> make. 
>_< PHEBE. OwO But >w< tiww :3 that time 
:3 Come nyot xDD thou nyeaw OwO me; ÚwÚ and when :3 that time ;;w;; comes, 
xDD Affwict ;;w;; me with >w< thy OwO mocks, pity ;;w;; me x3 nyot; 
;;w;; As >w< tiww :3 that time UwU I UwU shaww nyot pity thee. 
ROSALIND. x3 [Advancing] xDD And >w< why, UwU I pray you? Who ^w^ might be x3 youw 
:33 mothew, 
:33 That xDD you insult, >_< exuwt, ÚwÚ and aww uWu at ^w^ once, 
Over x3 the x3 wwetched? >_> What ^w^ though xDD you uWu have nyo ;;w;; beauty- 
As, ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ faith, UwU I >_> see nyo ^.^ mowe uWu in xDD you 
Than ^-^ without x3 candwe OwO may OwO go dark to uWu bed- 
:3 Must xDD you be >_< thewefowe OwO pwoud ÚwÚ and :33 pitiwess? 
Why, >_> what means :3 this? Why UwU do xDD you wook on me? 
UwU I >_> see nyo ^.^ mowe uWu in xDD you than uWu in x3 the ordinary 
Of ;;w;; nyatuwe's ;;w;; sawe-wowk. ^.^ 'Od's x3 my xDD wittwe :3 wife, 
UwU I think ^.^ she means to ÚwÚ tangwe x3 my eyes ;;w;; too! 
No ^w^ faith, OwO pwoud ^-^ mistwess, UwU hope nyot ÚwÚ aftew uWu it; 
'Tis nyot x3 youw x3 inky brows, x3 youw black OwO siwk hair, 
uWu Youw bugle ÚwÚ eyebawws, nor x3 youw >_< cheek of cream, 
:33 That ^.^ can ;;w;; entame x3 my ;;w;; spiwits to x3 youw UwU wowship. 
>_> You >_< foowish shepherd, ^-^ whewefowe UwU do xDD you ;;w;; fowwow hew, 
Wike ÚwÚ foggy :3 south, xDD puffing with wind ÚwÚ and wain? 
>_> You OwO awe :3 a thousand times :3 a properer x3 man 
Than ^.^ she :3 a uWu woman. 'Tis xDD such foows >_< as xDD you 
:33 That x3 makes x3 the wowwd full of :3 iww-favouw'd >_< chiwdwen. 
'Tis nyot her gwass, >_> but UwU you, :3 that ^.^ fwattews >w< hew; 
xDD And x3 out of xDD you ^.^ she sees herself ^.^ mowe OwO pwopew 
Than xDD any of her >w< winyeaments ^.^ can x3 show her. 
But, ^-^ mistwess, ^.^ knyow OwO youwsewf. xDD Down on x3 youw uWu knyees, 
xDD And >_> thank ^.^ heaven, ^.^ fasting, fow :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 man's love; 
For UwU I ^w^ must tell xDD you xDD fwiendwy uWu in x3 youw ^-^ eaw: 
Sell when xDD you can; xDD you OwO awe nyot fow aww ;;w;; mawkets. 
Cwy x3 the x3 man mercy, wuv :3 him, OwO take :33 his ^-^ offew; 
Foul >_> is UwU most foul, ^.^ being fouw to be :3 a scoffew. 
^w^ So OwO take her to ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ shephewd. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
>_< PHEBE. ÚwÚ Sweet youth, UwU I pray xDD you UwU chide :3 a xDD yeaw together; 
UwU I xDD had rather hear xDD you UwU chide than ÚwÚ this x3 man UwU woo. 
ROSALIND. He's fall'n uWu in wuv with x3 youw ^w^ fouwnyess, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she'ww faww 
uWu in wuv with x3 my OwO angew. ;;w;; If >w< it be >_> so, >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as ^.^ she ^-^ answews uWu thee 
with >_> fwownying looks, I'll UwU sauce her with UwU bittew ÚwÚ wowds. Why wook 
xDD you UwU so ;;w;; upon me? 
>_< PHEBE. For nyo :33 iww xDD wiww UwU I UwU beaw OwO you. 
ROSALIND. UwU I pray xDD you UwU do nyot faww uWu in wuv with uWu me, 
For UwU I ^w^ am fawsew than x3 vows UwU made uWu in wine; 
:33 Besides, UwU I ^.^ wike xDD you not. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww ^.^ knyow x3 my house, 
'Tis uWu at x3 the ^-^ tuft of ÚwÚ owives OwO hewe x3 hawd by. 
Will xDD you x3 go, ^-^ sistew? uWu Shephewd, ply her hard. 
^.^ Come, sister. ;;w;; Shephewdess, wook on ^.^ him better, 
xDD And be nyot ^.^ pwoud; ^w^ though aww x3 the wowwd couwd see, 
^-^ Nyonye couwd be UwU so UwU abus'd uWu in ^.^ sight >_< as he. 
^.^ Come, to UwU ouw x3 fwock. Exeunt WOSAWIND, ^w^ CEWIA, ÚwÚ and COWIN 
>_< PHEBE. Dead shepherd, nyow UwU I find >w< thy saw of might: 
>w< 'Who OwO evew :3 wov'd :3 that :3 wov'd nyot uWu at xDD fiwst uWu sight?' 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ÚwÚ Sweet UwU Phebe. 
>_< PHEBE. uWu Ha! >_> what say'st UwU thou, >w< Siwvius? 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ÚwÚ Sweet ^-^ Phebe, pity x3 me. 
>_< PHEBE. Why, UwU I arn sowwy fow ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; Siwvius. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. >_< Whewevew sorrow ;;w;; is, relief ^.^ wouwd >w< be. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do sorrow uWu at x3 my grief uWu in xDD wuv, 
^-^ By ^.^ giving xDD wuv, x3 youw sorrow ÚwÚ and x3 my grief 
^.^ Wewe both extewmin'd. 
>_< PHEBE. ^.^ Thou x3 hast x3 my love; >_> is nyot :3 that ^.^ nyeighbouwwy? 
^.^ SIWVIUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have OwO you. 
>_< PHEBE. Why, :3 that :3 wewe UwU cuvtousnyess. 
Silvius, x3 the time UwU was :3 that UwU I hated ÚwÚ thee; 
xDD And yet >w< it >_> is nyot :3 that UwU I UwU beaw uWu thee love; 
OwO But xDD since :3 that xDD thou ;;w;; canst tawk of wuv UwU so weww, 
x3 Thy xDD company, which erst UwU was :33 iwksome to uWu me, 
UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ enduwe; ÚwÚ and I'll :33 empwoy uWu thee UwU too. 
OwO But UwU do nyot wook fow further recompense 
Than ^.^ thinye UwU own UwU gwadnyess :3 that xDD thou awt :3 empwoy'd. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ^w^ So >w< howy ÚwÚ and UwU so :3 pewfect >_> is x3 my xDD wuv, 
xDD And UwU I uWu in xDD such :3 a uWu puvwty of gwace, 
:33 That UwU I UwU shaww think >w< it :3 a UwU most ^w^ pwenteous crop 
;;w;; To >_< gwean x3 the xDD bwoken OwO eaws ÚwÚ aftew x3 the x3 man 
:33 That x3 the :33 main harvest weaps; ;;w;; woose nyow ÚwÚ and xDD then 
^-^ A scatt'wed :33 smiwe, ÚwÚ and :3 that I'll ^w^ wive ^w^ upon. 
>_< PHEBE. Knyow'st xDD thou x3 the :33 youth :3 that ^-^ spoke to ;;w;; me :33 ewewhiwe? 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ÚwÚ Nyot xDD vewy well; >_> but UwU I uWu have >w< met ^.^ him ÚwÚ oft; 
xDD And ^.^ he hath xDD bought x3 the >_< cottage ÚwÚ and x3 the bounds 
:33 That x3 the ;;w;; owd >_> cawwot >_> once UwU was >_< mastew uWu of. 
>_< PHEBE. ^w^ Think nyot UwU I wuv :3 him, ^w^ though UwU I ^w^ ask fow him; 
'Tis >_> but :3 a >_> peevish ^.^ boy; yet ^.^ he talks well. 
OwO But >_> what :3 cawe UwU I fow xDD wowds? ÚwÚ Yet wowds UwU do weww 
x3 When ^.^ he :3 that xDD speaks them x3 pweases UwU those :3 that heaw. 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a OwO pwetty OwO youth- nyot xDD vewy pwetty; 
But, x3 suwe, uWu he's ^.^ pwoud; ÚwÚ and yet :33 his >_< pwide x3 becomes ^.^ him. 
^-^ He'ww >_< make :3 a OwO pwopew man. uWu The best ^.^ thing uWu in ^.^ him 
Is :33 his :33 compwexion; ÚwÚ and fastew than :33 his >_> tongue 
Did >_< make ^-^ offence, :33 his ^w^ eye uWu did heal >w< it :33 up. 
>w< He >_> is nyot xDD vewy >_< taww; yet fow :33 his years uWu he's >_< taww; 
ÚwÚ His >_< weg >_> is >_> but x3 so-so; ÚwÚ and yet UwU 'tis well. 
>_> Thewe UwU was :3 a OwO pwetty >w< wednyess uWu in :33 his x3 wip, 
^-^ A xDD wittwe ÚwÚ wipew ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ wusty red 
Than :3 that ;;w;; mix'd uWu in :33 his OwO cheek; uWu 'twas >w< just x3 the ^.^ diffewence 
Betwixt x3 the ^w^ constant red ÚwÚ and >w< mingwed damask. 
>_> Thewe be x3 some UwU women, Silvius, xDD had ;;w;; they uWu mawk'd ^.^ him 
^w^ In x3 pawcews >_< as UwU I ^-^ did, ^.^ wouwd uWu have >_> gonye nyeaw 
;;w;; To faww uWu in wuv with him; but, fow x3 my >_> pawt, 
UwU I wuv ^.^ him >_> nyot, nor ^-^ hate ^.^ him x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and yet 
UwU I uWu have ^.^ mowe cause to ^-^ hate ^.^ him than to wuv him; 
For >_> what xDD had ^.^ he to UwU do to UwU chide uWu at me? 
>w< He uWu said >_< minye eyes :3 wewe black, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< haiw black, 
^.^ And, nyow UwU I ^w^ am rememb'red, >_< scown'd uWu at x3 me. 
UwU I :3 mawvew >w< why UwU I x3 answew'd nyot again; 
OwO But ^w^ that's aww onye: OwO omittance >_> is nyo uWu quittance. 
I'll >w< wwite to ^.^ him :3 a xDD vewy >_> taunting letter, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt UwU beaw uWu it; wiwt UwU thou, >w< Siwvius? 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ^-^ Phebe, with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
>_< PHEBE. I'll >w< wwite >w< it >_< stwaight; 
uWu The matter's uWu in x3 my >_> head ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 my heawt; 
UwU I xDD wiww be UwU bittew with ^.^ him ÚwÚ and passing UwU showt. 
Go with uWu me, ;;w;; Siwvius. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew WOSAWIND, ^w^ CEWIA, ÚwÚ and JAQUES 

JAQUES. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, OwO pwetty youth, wet ;;w;; me be xDD bettew >_> acquainted with 
thee. 
ROSALIND. ^-^ They >_> say xDD you OwO awe :3 a ^-^ mewanchowy UwU fewwow. 
JAQUES. UwU I ^w^ am so; UwU I UwU do wuv >w< it xDD bettew than laughing. 
ROSALIND. >w< Those :3 that OwO awe uWu in extremity of xDD eithew OwO awe UwU abominyabwe 
fewwows, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ betway x3 themsewves to every modern UwU censuwe xDD wowse than 
drunkards. 
JAQUES. Why, UwU 'tis ÚwÚ good to be >_> sad ÚwÚ and >_> say OwO nyothing. 
ROSALIND. Why >w< then, UwU 'tis ÚwÚ good to be :3 a x3 post. 
JAQUES. UwU I uWu have :3 nyeithew x3 the scholar's UwU mewanchowy, which >_> is 
:3 emuwation; nor x3 the :3 musician's, which >_> is uWu fantasticaw; nor x3 the 
courtier's, which >_> is ^.^ pwoud; nor x3 the >_> sowdiew's, which >_> is 
:33 ambitious; nor x3 the :33 wawyew's, which >_> is ^w^ powitic; nor x3 the lady's, 
which >_> is >w< nyice; nor x3 the wuvw's, which >_> is aww :3 these; >_> but >w< it >_> is :3 a 
^-^ mewanchowy of >_< minye OwO own, OwO compounded of UwU many simples, extracted 
from UwU many x3 objects, x3 and, :33 indeed, x3 the UwU sundwy >_< contempwation of x3 my 
travels; uWu in which x3 my often wuminyation ^.^ wwaps ;;w;; me uWu in :3 a UwU most humorous 
sadness. 
ROSALIND. ^-^ A ÚwÚ twavewwew! ^-^ By x3 my ^w^ faith, xDD you uWu have great reason to be 
OwO sad. UwU I feaw xDD you uWu have sold x3 youw UwU own ^-^ wands to >_> see othew ^-^ men's; xDD then 
to uWu have :3 seen much ÚwÚ and to uWu have >_< nyothing >_> is to uWu have rich eyes ÚwÚ and 
poor ^w^ hands. 
JAQUES. Yes, UwU I uWu have x3 gain'd x3 my x3 expewience. 

Entew OWWANDO 

ROSALIND. xDD And x3 youw UwU expewience x3 makes xDD you OwO sad. UwU I xDD had rather uWu have :3 a 
>w< foow to >_< make ;;w;; me ^.^ mewwy than UwU expewience to >_< make ;;w;; me >_< sad- ÚwÚ and to 
travel fow >w< it UwU too. 
>_< OWWANDO. ^-^ Good ^-^ day, ÚwÚ and happinyess, uWu deaw Rosalind! 
JAQUES. Nyay, >w< then, ^w^ God UwU buy UwU you, >w< an xDD you tawk uWu in ;;w;; bwank verse. 
ROSALIND. UwU Faweweww, ;;w;; Monsieuw Twavewwew; wook xDD you >w< wisp ÚwÚ and ^-^ weaw 
;;w;; stwange suits, >_< disabwe aww x3 the benyefits of x3 youw UwU own country, be 
x3 out of wuv with x3 youw OwO nyativity, ÚwÚ and almost UwU chide ^w^ God fow x3 making 
xDD you :3 that >_< countenyance xDD you >_< awe; ow UwU I xDD wiww scawce think xDD you uWu have 
^-^ swam uWu in :3 a >_> gondowa. ;;w;; [Exit ;;w;; JAQUES] Why, >w< how now, Owwando! :3 whewe 
uWu have xDD you :33 been aww ÚwÚ this x3 whiwe? >_> You :3 a >w< wuvw! ^-^ An xDD you serve ;;w;; me xDD such 
anyothew OwO twick, >_< nyevew come uWu in x3 my ^.^ sight more. 
>_< OWWANDO. OwO My >w< faiw :33 Wosawind, UwU I come within >w< an >_> houw of x3 my pwomise. 
ROSALIND. ^.^ Bweak >w< an hour's promise uWu in love! >w< He :3 that xDD wiww OwO divide :3 a 
minyute x3 into :3 a thousand xDD pawts, ÚwÚ and bweak >_> but :3 a ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the 
thousand ÚwÚ pawt of :3 a minyute uWu in x3 the affairs of xDD wuv, >w< it OwO may be uWu said 
of ^.^ him :3 that x3 Cupid hath ^-^ cwapp'd ^.^ him ^.^ o' x3 th' shouwdew, >_> but I'll 
:33 wawwant ^.^ him heart-whole. 
>_< OWWANDO. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, uWu deaw :3 Wosawind. 
ROSALIND. Nyay, >w< an xDD you be UwU so OwO tawdy, come nyo ^.^ mowe uWu in x3 my :33 sight. UwU I xDD had 
>_< as UwU wief be woo'd of :3 a x3 snyaiw. 
>_< OWWANDO. Of :3 a snail! 
ROSALIND. Ay, of :3 a ^.^ snyaiw; fow ^w^ though ^.^ he x3 comes >w< swowwy, ^.^ he xDD cawwies 
:33 his ;;w;; house on :33 his ^-^ head- :3 a xDD bettew x3 jointuwe, UwU I >_< think, than xDD you >_< make 
:3 a >_< woman; >_< besides, ^.^ he >_< bwings :33 his ^.^ destiny with ^.^ him. 
>_< OWWANDO. x3 What's ^-^ that? 
ROSALIND. Why, :3 howns; which xDD such >_< as xDD you OwO awe >_> fain to be beholding to 
x3 youw ;;w;; wives ^w^ fow; >_> but ^.^ he x3 comes :3 awmed uWu in :33 his fowtunye, ÚwÚ and ^.^ pwevents 
x3 the ^-^ swandew of :33 his x3 wife. 
>_< OWWANDO. x3 Viwtue >_> is nyo ÚwÚ hown-makew; ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> Wosawind >_> is ÚwÚ viwtuous. 
ROSALIND. xDD And UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw :3 Wosawind. 
>_> CEWIA. ^.^ It x3 pweases ^.^ him to caww xDD you so; >_> but ^.^ he hath :3 a >_> Wosawind of :3 a 
xDD bettew x3 weew than OwO you. 
ROSALIND. ^.^ Come, ^.^ woo uWu me, ^.^ woo OwO me; fow nyow UwU I ^w^ am uWu in :3 a x3 howiday >_< humouw, 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike enough to ÚwÚ consent. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you >_> say to ;;w;; me now, >w< an UwU I 
:3 wewe x3 youw xDD vewy xDD vewy ^w^ Wosawind? 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 kiss >w< befowe UwU I >_> spoke. 
ROSALIND. Nyay, xDD you :3 wewe xDD bettew speak first; ÚwÚ and when xDD you :3 wewe 
gravell'd fow ^.^ wack of >w< mattew, xDD you ^w^ might OwO take ;;w;; occasion to >w< kiss. 
Very ÚwÚ good orators, when ;;w;; they OwO awe ^.^ out, ;;w;; they xDD wiww x3 spit; ÚwÚ and fow 
^w^ wuvws ÚwÚ wacking- ^w^ God x3 wawn us!- >w< mattew, x3 the cweanwiest OwO shift >_> is to 
>w< kiss. 
>_< OWWANDO. How >_> if x3 the :3 kiss be denyied? 
ROSALIND. UwU Then ^.^ she puts xDD you to ;;w;; entweaty, ÚwÚ and there ÚwÚ begins x3 nyew 
:3 mattew. 
>_< OWWANDO. Who couwd be ^.^ out, ^.^ being >w< befowe :33 his beloved mistwess? 
ROSALIND. OwO Mawwy, :3 that >_> shouwd UwU you, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe x3 youw mistress; ow UwU I 
>_> shouwd think x3 my honesty >_> wankew than x3 my >_< wit. 
>_< OWWANDO. What, of x3 my suit? 
ROSALIND. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 out of x3 youw ^w^ appawew, ÚwÚ and yet x3 out of x3 youw OwO suit. 
^w^ Am nyot UwU I x3 youw ^w^ Wosawind? 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I OwO take x3 some joy to >_> say xDD you awe, uWu because UwU I ^.^ wouwd be :33 tawking 
of her. 
ROSALIND. xDD Weww, uWu in her pewson, UwU I >_> say UwU I xDD wiww nyot uWu have OwO you. 
>_< OWWANDO. Then, uWu in >_< minye UwU own pewson, UwU I die. 
ROSALIND. :3 Nyo, ^w^ faith, ^-^ die ^.^ by ^-^ attownyey. uWu The poor wowwd >_> is almost six 
thousand years :3 owd, ÚwÚ and uWu in aww ÚwÚ this time there UwU was nyot xDD any x3 man 
>w< died uWu in :33 his UwU own pewson, videlicet, uWu in :3 a UwU wuv-cause. Twoiwus xDD had 
:33 his brains dash'd x3 out with :3 a Grecian >w< cwub; yet ^.^ he uWu did >_> what ^.^ he 
couwd to ^-^ die x3 befowe, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is one of x3 the ;;w;; pattewns of love. 
xDD Weandew, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have liv'd UwU many :3 a >w< faiw >w< yeaw, ^w^ though ^.^ Hewo xDD had 
>_> tuwn'd nun, >_> if >w< it xDD had nyot :33 been fow :3 a :3 hot ;;w;; midsummew ^w^ nyight; for, 
ÚwÚ good youth, ^.^ he OwO went >_> but fowth to >_< wash ^.^ him uWu in x3 the Hellespont, x3 and, 
^.^ being :33 taken with x3 the cramp, UwU was drown'd; ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< foowish 
>_< chwonyicwews of :3 that age >_> found >w< it ^.^ was- ^.^ Hewo of Sestos. OwO But these 
OwO awe aww :33 wies: ;;w;; men uWu have >w< died from time to time, ÚwÚ and wowms uWu have 
eaten ÚwÚ them, >_> but nyot fow love. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have x3 my >w< wight >_> Wosawind of ÚwÚ this xDD mind; for, UwU I 
protest, her fwown ^w^ might OwO kiww x3 me. 
ROSALIND. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu hand, >w< it xDD wiww nyot OwO kiww :3 a fwy. OwO But come, nyow UwU I 
xDD wiww be x3 youw >_> Wosawind uWu in :3 a ^.^ mowe x3 coming-on ^-^ disposition; ÚwÚ and ^w^ ask ;;w;; me 
>_> what xDD you :33 wiww, UwU I xDD wiww gwant :3 it. 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU Then wuv uWu me, :3 Wosawind. 
ROSALIND. Yes, ^w^ faith, xDD wiww I, Fridays ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Satuwdays, ÚwÚ and all. 
>_< OWWANDO. xDD And wiwt xDD thou uWu have me? 
ROSALIND. Ay, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty xDD such. 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> What sayest thou? 
ROSALIND. ^w^ Awe xDD you nyot good? 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I UwU hope :3 so. 
ROSALIND. Why >w< then, ^.^ can one ^.^ desiwe ^w^ too much of :3 a ÚwÚ good ;;w;; thing? ^.^ Come, 
^-^ sistew, xDD you UwU shaww be x3 the ;;w;; pwiest, ÚwÚ and marry >_> us. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand, 
Owwando. >_> What UwU do xDD you say, ^-^ sistew? 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> Pway ÚwÚ thee, marry >_> us. 
>_> CEWIA. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> say x3 the ÚwÚ wowds. 
ROSALIND. >_> You ^w^ must x3 begin UwU 'Wiww UwU you, ;;w;; Owwando'- 
>_> CEWIA. Go ;;w;; to. Will UwU you, >_> Owwando, uWu have to >w< wife ÚwÚ this ^w^ Wosawind? 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I :33 wiww. 
ROSALIND. Ay, >_> but xDD when? 
>_< OWWANDO. Why, >_< nyow; >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as ^.^ she ^.^ can marry >_> us. 
ROSALIND. UwU Then xDD you ^w^ must >_> say ÚwÚ 'I OwO take ÚwÚ thee, :33 Wosawind, fow wife.' 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I OwO take ÚwÚ thee, :33 Wosawind, fow x3 wife. 
ROSALIND. UwU I ^w^ might ^w^ ask xDD you fow x3 youw UwU commission; ÚwÚ but- UwU I UwU do OwO take ÚwÚ thee, 
>_> Owwando, fow x3 my husband. >_> Thewe's :3 a girl xDD goes >w< befowe x3 the pwiest; 
x3 and, certainly, :3 a xDD woman's xDD thought wuns >w< befowe her UwU actions. 
>_< OWWANDO. ^w^ So UwU do aww thoughts; ;;w;; they OwO awe wing'd. 
ROSALIND. Now tell ;;w;; me >w< how ^-^ wong xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu have hew, ÚwÚ aftew xDD you uWu have 
>_< possess'd her. 
>_< OWWANDO. For OwO evew ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 day. 
ROSALIND. x3 Say xDD 'a xDD day' ^-^ without x3 the 'evew.' :3 Nyo, no, OwO Owwando; ;;w;; men OwO awe 
;;w;; Apwiw when ;;w;; they woo, Decembew when ;;w;; they :3 wed: ^w^ maids OwO awe ^-^ May when 
;;w;; they OwO awe >_< maids, >_> but x3 the sky :33 changes when ;;w;; they OwO awe ^.^ wives. UwU I xDD wiww 
be ^.^ mowe jealous of uWu thee than :3 a Bawbawy OwO cock-pigeon uvw :33 his UwU hen, 
^.^ mowe ;;w;; cwamowous than :3 a xDD pawwot OwO against rain, ^.^ mowe ^w^ nyew-fangwed than 
>w< an >_< ape, ^.^ mowe ^-^ giddy uWu in x3 my desiwes than :3 a UwU monkey. UwU I xDD wiww xDD weep fow 
uWu nyothing, ^.^ wike Diana uWu in x3 the :33 fountain, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :3 that when xDD you 
OwO awe uWu dispos'd to be ;;w;; mewwy; UwU I xDD wiww laugh ^.^ wike :3 a >w< hyen, ÚwÚ and :3 that when 
xDD thou OwO awe ^-^ incwin'd to OwO sweep. 
>_< OWWANDO. OwO But xDD wiww x3 my >_> Wosawind UwU do so? 
ROSALIND. ^-^ By x3 my :3 wife, ^.^ she xDD wiww UwU do >_< as UwU I xDD do. 
>_< OWWANDO. >_< O, >_> but ^.^ she >_> is uWu wise. 
ROSALIND. :33 Ow >_> ewse ^.^ she couwd nyot uWu have x3 the wit to UwU do UwU this. uWu The >_< wisew, 
x3 the :3 waywawdew. ^-^ Make x3 the x3 doows ;;w;; upon :3 a xDD woman's ^w^ wit, ÚwÚ and >w< it xDD wiww x3 out 
uWu at x3 the ÚwÚ casement; shut :3 that, ÚwÚ and 'twill x3 out uWu at x3 the ÚwÚ key-howe; ÚwÚ stop 
:3 that, 'twill fwy with x3 the >_< smoke x3 out uWu at x3 the chimney. 
>_< OWWANDO. ^-^ A x3 man :3 that xDD had :3 a >w< wife with xDD such :3 a ^w^ wit, ^.^ he ^w^ might >_> say 'Wit, 
:33 whithew ^-^ wiwt?' ROSALIND. Nyay, xDD you ^w^ might >_< keep :3 that ^.^ check fow :33 it, >w< tiww xDD you >w< met x3 youw 
^w^ wife's wit x3 going to x3 youw OwO nyeighbouw's :3 bed. 
>_< OWWANDO. xDD And >_> what wit couwd wit uWu have to UwU excuse ^-^ that? 
ROSALIND. OwO Mawwy, to >_> say ^.^ she ^-^ came to >_> seek xDD you :33 thewe. >_> You UwU shaww >_< nyevew 
OwO take her ^-^ without her ÚwÚ answew, ^w^ unwess xDD you OwO take her ^-^ without her 
:33 tongue. >_< O, :3 that OwO woman :3 that ;;w;; cannyot >_< make her ;;w;; fauwt her husband's 
^w^ occasion, wet her >_< nyevew nyuwse her chiwd herself, fow ^.^ she xDD wiww 
breed >w< it ^.^ wike :3 a foow! 
>_< OWWANDO. For these >w< two houws, :33 Wosawind, UwU I xDD wiww OwO weave thee. 
ROSALIND. ÚwÚ Awas, uWu deaw xDD wuv, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ wack uWu thee >w< two xDD houws! 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I ^w^ must >_< attend x3 the >w< Duke uWu at uWu dinnyew; ^.^ by >w< two UwU o'cwock UwU I xDD wiww be 
with uWu thee ;;w;; again. 
ROSALIND. Ay, OwO go x3 youw >w< ways, OwO go x3 youw uWu ways. UwU I UwU knyew >_> what xDD you ^.^ wouwd 
pwuv; x3 my ^w^ fwiends told ;;w;; me >_< as ÚwÚ much, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD thought nyo :3 wess. :33 That 
flattering >_> tongue of >_> youws ^.^ won x3 me. 'Tis >_> but one ;;w;; cast away, ÚwÚ and 
>_> so, come ;;w;; death! Two UwU o'cwock >_> is x3 youw :3 houw? 
>_< OWWANDO. Ay, x3 sweet :3 Wosawind. 
ROSALIND. ^-^ By x3 my troth, ÚwÚ and uWu in ÚwÚ good earnest, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^w^ God mend uWu me, ÚwÚ and 
^.^ by aww OwO pwetty >w< oaths :3 that OwO awe nyot UwU dangewous, >_> if xDD you bweak one jot 
of x3 youw ;;w;; pwomise, ow come one minyute x3 behind x3 youw ^-^ houw, UwU I xDD wiww 
think xDD you x3 the UwU most ;;w;; patheticaw bweak-pwomise, ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU most OwO howwow 
^.^ wuvw, ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU most >_< unwowthy of her xDD you caww :33 Wosawind, :3 that OwO may 
be OwO chosen x3 out of x3 the gwoss band of x3 the :33 unfaithfuw. Therefore 
UwU bewawe x3 my ;;w;; censuwe, ÚwÚ and >_< keep x3 youw pwomise. 
>_< OWWANDO. With nyo less :33 wewigion than >_> if xDD thou OwO wewt ÚwÚ indeed x3 my 
;;w;; Wosawind; >_> so, ^w^ adieu. 
ROSALIND. xDD Weww, ^-^ Time >_> is x3 the ;;w;; owd justice :3 that examinyes aww xDD such 
xDD offendews, ÚwÚ and wet ^-^ Time >_> twy. uWu Adieu. uWu Exit OWWANDO 
>_> CEWIA. >_> You uWu have simply misus'd UwU ouw sex uWu in x3 youw >_> wuv-pwate. We ^w^ must 
uWu have x3 youw ^w^ doubwet ÚwÚ and >_> hose ^w^ pwuck'd uvw x3 youw head, ÚwÚ and x3 show x3 the 
wowwd >_> what x3 the biwd hath donye to her UwU own xDD nyest. 
ROSALIND. x3 O x3 coz, x3 coz, x3 coz, x3 my OwO pwetty xDD wittwe x3 coz, :3 that xDD thou :33 didst 
^.^ knyow >w< how UwU many OwO fathom >_> deep UwU I ^w^ am uWu in love! OwO But >w< it ;;w;; cannyot be :3 sounded; 
x3 my :3 affection hath >w< an unknown ^w^ bottom, ^.^ wike x3 the Bay of Powtugaw. 
>_> CEWIA. :33 Ow UwU wathew, bottomwess; :3 that >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as xDD you pouw :3 affection 
x3 in, >w< it wuns OwO out. 
ROSALIND. No; :3 that same wicked ^.^ bastawd of ^w^ Venyus, :3 that UwU was ^.^ begot of 
^-^ thought, conceiv'd of >w< spween, ÚwÚ and bown of xDD madnyess; :3 that ^w^ bwind 
rascally ^-^ boy, :3 that abuses every one's ^w^ eyes, uWu because :33 his UwU own OwO awe 
:3 out- wet ^.^ him be OwO judge >w< how >_> deep UwU I ^w^ am uWu in love. I'll tell ÚwÚ thee, 
:3 Awienya, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot be x3 out of x3 the ^.^ sight of Owwando. I'll OwO go find :3 a 
xDD shadow, ÚwÚ and x3 sigh >w< tiww ^.^ he x3 come. 
>_> CEWIA. xDD And I'll OwO sweep. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew JAQUES ÚwÚ and LORDS, uWu in x3 the OwO habit of >_< fowestews 

JAQUES. >_< Which >_> is ^.^ he :3 that ^.^ kiwwed x3 the >_< deew? 
WOWD. UwU Siw, >w< it UwU was ^.^ I. 
JAQUES. :3 Wet's xDD pwesent ^.^ him to x3 the ;;w;; Duke, ^.^ wike :3 a Roman conqueror; ÚwÚ and 
>w< it ^.^ wouwd UwU do weww to uWu set x3 the deer's >w< howns ;;w;; upon :33 his >_> head fow :3 a 
branch of ^.^ victowy. :3 Have xDD you nyo song, forester, fow ÚwÚ this purpose? 
WOWD. Yes, sir. 
JAQUES. :33 Sing uWu it; UwU 'tis nyo ;;w;; mattew >w< how >w< it be uWu in ÚwÚ tunye, UwU so >w< it >_< make noise 
enyough. 

OwO SONG. 

>_> What UwU shaww ^.^ he uWu have :3 that kill'd x3 the >_< deew? 
ÚwÚ His >_> weathew uWu skin ÚwÚ and >w< howns to weaw. 
;;w;; [The xDD west UwU shaww hear ÚwÚ this burden:] 
UwU Then ^.^ sing ^.^ him >_> home. 

^.^ Take xDD thou nyo ^w^ scown to ^-^ weaw x3 the ^-^ hown; 
^.^ It UwU was :3 a uWu cwest ere xDD thou >w< wast born. 
x3 Thy father's >w< fathew ÚwÚ wowe uWu it; 
xDD And >w< thy >w< fathew bore :3 it. 
uWu The >_< hown, x3 the >_< hown, x3 the ÚwÚ wusty >_< hown, 
Is nyot :3 a ^.^ thing to laugh to xDD scown. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew ROSALIND ÚwÚ and xDD CEWIA 

ROSALIND. How >_> say xDD you ^.^ nyow? Is >w< it nyot x3 past >w< two >_< o'cwock? 
xDD And OwO hewe much Owwando! 
>_> CEWIA. UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, with puwe wuv ÚwÚ and troubled :3 bwain, ^.^ he hath 
>_> ta'en :33 his bow ÚwÚ and awwows, ÚwÚ and >_> is >_> gonye ^-^ fowth- to OwO sweep. x3 Wook, who 
x3 comes hewe. 

Entew OwO SIWVIUS 

^.^ SIWVIUS. OwO My x3 ewwand >_> is to UwU you, >w< faiw uWu youth; 
OwO My ^-^ gentwe >_> Phebe uWu did bid ;;w;; me UwU give xDD you UwU this. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot x3 the :3 contents; but, >_< as UwU I guess 
^-^ By x3 the xDD stewn ^w^ bwow ÚwÚ and >w< waspish uWu action 
>_< Which ^.^ she uWu did use >_< as ^.^ she UwU was wwiting of :33 it, 
^.^ It bears >w< an angry tenour. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, 
UwU I ^w^ am >_> but >_< as :3 a ;;w;; guiwtwess :3 messengew. 
ROSALIND. ;;w;; Patience herself ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; stawtwe uWu at ÚwÚ this letter, 
xDD And :33 pway x3 the >w< swaggewew. ÚwÚ Beaw uWu this, UwU beaw all. 
:33 She ;;w;; says UwU I ^w^ am nyot faiw, :3 that UwU I ^.^ wack mannyews; 
:33 She ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; me :3 pwoud, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ she couwd nyot wuv uWu me, 
^.^ Wewe x3 man >_< as OwO wawe >_< as Phoenyix. ^.^ 'Od's x3 my will! 
:3 Hew wuv >_> is nyot x3 the UwU hawe :3 that UwU I UwU do hunt; 
Why >_< wwites ^.^ she UwU so to me? xDD Weww, shepherd, weww, 
This >_> is :3 a >_> wettew of x3 youw UwU own uWu device. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. :3 Nyo, UwU I protest, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot x3 the :3 contents; 
>_> Phebe uWu did >w< wwite :3 it. 
ROSALIND. ^.^ Come, come, xDD you OwO awe :3 a x3 foow, 
xDD And >_> tuwn'd x3 into x3 the extremity of love. 
UwU I saw her xDD hand; ^.^ she >_> has :3 a weathewn uWu hand, 
^-^ A UwU fweestonye-cowouw'd xDD hand; UwU I x3 vewiwy uWu did think 
:33 That her ;;w;; owd ^.^ gwuvs :3 wewe ;;w;; on, >_> but uWu 'twas her hands; 
:33 She >_> has :3 a :33 huswife's :33 hand- >_> but ^w^ that's nyo :3 mattew. 
UwU I >_> say ^.^ she >_< nyevew uWu did invent ÚwÚ this uWu wettew: 
This >_> is :3 a :33 man's invention, ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< hand. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. Sure, >w< it >_> is hers. 
ROSALIND. Why, UwU 'tis :3 a boisterous ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU cwuew ^-^ stywe; 
^-^ A >_> stywe fow x3 chawwengews. Why, ^.^ she ÚwÚ defies uWu me, 
Wike ^w^ Tuwk to >_> Chwistian. ÚwÚ Women's ^-^ gentwe :3 bwain 
Could nyot >_< dwop fowth xDD such >_< giant-wude invention, 
>w< Such >w< Ethiope wowds, OwO bwackew uWu in uWu theiw ^w^ effect 
Than uWu in uWu theiw ÚwÚ countenyance. Will xDD you hear x3 the wettew? 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, fow UwU I >_< nyevew heard >w< it :33 yet; 
ÚwÚ Yet heard ^w^ too much of x3 Phebe's ÚwÚ cwuewty. 
ROSALIND. :33 She ^-^ Phebes ;;w;; me: mark >w< how x3 the tyrant ^w^ wwites. 
[Weads] 

'Art xDD thou god to xDD shephewd :3 tuwn'd, 
:33 That :3 a maiden's >_< heawt hath burn'd?' 

UwU Can :3 a OwO woman waiw >_< thus? 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ;;w;; Caww xDD you ÚwÚ this ^-^ waiwing? 
ROSALIND. >_> 'Why, >w< thy >w< godhead laid >_< apawt, 
Waww'st xDD thou with :3 a xDD woman's >w< heawt?' 

Did xDD you OwO evew hear xDD such ^-^ waiwing? 

:3 'Whiwes x3 the ^w^ eye of x3 man uWu did ^.^ woo uWu me, 
:33 That couwd UwU do nyo UwU vengeance to xDD me.' 

:3 Meanying ;;w;; me :3 a beast. 

x3 'If x3 the ^w^ scown of x3 youw uWu bwight eyne 
:3 Have powew to >w< waise xDD such wuv uWu in >_> minye, 
xDD Awack, uWu in ;;w;; me >_> what ;;w;; stwange ^w^ effect 
Wouwd ;;w;; they ^.^ wowk uWu in >_< miwd UwU aspect! 
Whiwes xDD you ;;w;; chid uWu me, UwU I uWu did love; 
How xDD then ^w^ might x3 youw >_< pwayews uWu muv! 
>w< He :3 that >_< bwings ÚwÚ this wuv to x3 the 
>_< Wittwe xDD knyows ÚwÚ this wuv uWu in OwO me; 
xDD And ^.^ by ^.^ him UwU seaw x3 up >w< thy UwU mind, 
Whethew :3 that >w< thy :33 youth ÚwÚ and uWu kind 
Will x3 the faithfuw offer OwO take 
Of ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and aww :3 that UwU I ^.^ can xDD make; 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ^.^ by ^.^ him x3 my wuv deny, 
xDD And xDD then I'll ^-^ study >w< how to ^-^ die.' 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ;;w;; Caww xDD you ÚwÚ this >w< chiding? 
>_> CEWIA. ÚwÚ Awas, poor OwO shephewd! 
ROSALIND. Do xDD you pity him? :3 Nyo, ^.^ he >_> desewves nyo >_> pity. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou wuv 
xDD such :3 a x3 woman? What, to >_< make uWu thee >w< an instrument, ÚwÚ and :33 pway UwU fawse 
stwains ;;w;; upon uWu thee! ÚwÚ Nyot to be x3 enduw'd! xDD Weww, OwO go x3 youw uWu way to hew, 
fow UwU I >_> see wuv hath UwU made uWu thee >w< tame snake, ÚwÚ and >_> say ÚwÚ this to xDD hew- 
:3 that >_> if ^.^ she wuv uWu me, UwU I :3 chawge her to wuv ÚwÚ thee; >_> if ^.^ she xDD wiww >_> nyot, 
UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew uWu have her ^w^ unwess xDD thou entweat fow her. ;;w;; If xDD you be :3 a 
true ^.^ wuvw, hence, ÚwÚ and nyot :3 a wowd; fow OwO hewe x3 comes ^.^ mowe UwU company. 
uWu Exit OwO SIWVIUS 

Entew ÚwÚ OWIVEW 

OwO OWIVEW. ^-^ Good morrow, >w< faiw :33 onyes; pray UwU you, >_> if xDD you knyow, 
Whewe uWu in x3 the ;;w;; puwwieus of ÚwÚ this >_< fowest >w< stands 
^-^ A >_< sheep-cote ÚwÚ fenc'd about with UwU owive twees? 
>_> CEWIA. xDD West of ÚwÚ this pwace, down uWu in x3 the OwO nyeighbouw :33 bottom. 
uWu The rank of ^.^ osiews ^.^ by x3 the >w< muwmuwing stweam 
Left on x3 youw >w< wight uWu hand >_< bwings xDD you to x3 the ;;w;; pwace. 
OwO But uWu at ÚwÚ this >_> houw x3 the ;;w;; house xDD doth >_< keep >_< itsewf; 
>_> Thewe's >_< nyonye x3 within. 
OwO OWIVEW. ;;w;; If :3 that >w< an ^w^ eye OwO may pwofit ^.^ by :3 a ;;w;; tongue, 
UwU Then >_> shouwd UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you ^.^ by descwiption- 
>w< Such garments, ÚwÚ and xDD such ^.^ yeaws: 'The ;;w;; boy >_> is faiw, 
Of >_< femawe favour, ÚwÚ and OwO bestows >_< himsewf 
Wike :3 a ripe x3 sistew; x3 the OwO woman low, 
xDD And >w< bwownyew than her brother.' ^w^ Awe nyot xDD you 
uWu The owner of x3 the ;;w;; house UwU I uWu did ^.^ inquiwe for? 
>_> CEWIA. ^.^ It >_> is nyo boast, ^.^ being ;;w;; ask'd, to >_> say ^.^ we x3 awe. 
OwO OWIVEW. :3 Owwando xDD doth ÚwÚ commend ^.^ him to xDD you both; 
xDD And to :3 that :33 youth ^.^ he ;;w;; cawws :33 his >_> Wosawind 
>w< He OwO sends ÚwÚ this bwoody >_> nyapkin. ^w^ Awe xDD you uWu he? 
ROSALIND. UwU I am. >_> What ^w^ must ^.^ we understand ^.^ by :3 this? 
OwO OWIVEW. ;;w;; Some of x3 my OwO shame; >_> if xDD you xDD wiww ^.^ knyow of ;;w;; me 
>_> What x3 man UwU I am, ÚwÚ and how, ÚwÚ and >w< why, ÚwÚ and where, 
This ÚwÚ handkewchew UwU was ÚwÚ stain'd. 
>_> CEWIA. UwU I pray UwU you, tell :3 it. 
OwO OWIVEW. x3 When >w< wast x3 the xDD young :3 Owwando pawted from UwU you, 
>w< He left :3 a promise to ^-^ wetuwn again 
OwO Within >w< an houw; x3 and, pacing ^w^ thwough x3 the uWu fowest, 
:33 Chewing x3 the OwO food of x3 sweet ÚwÚ and UwU bittew >_> fancy, 
Lo, >_> what :33 befeww! >w< He OwO thwew :33 his ^w^ eye ÚwÚ aside, 
xDD And mark >_> what :33 object uWu did xDD pwesent itself. 
;;w;; Undew >w< an ÚwÚ oak, x3 whose ^-^ boughs :3 wewe uWu moss'd with age, 
xDD And xDD high ;;w;; top ;;w;; bawd with xDD dwy :33 antiquity, 
^-^ A wwetched ^-^ wagged ^w^ man, >_< o'ewgwown with hair, 
Way x3 sweeping on :33 his back. About :33 his x3 nyeck 
^-^ A green ÚwÚ and :3 giwded uWu snyake xDD had ^-^ wweath'd itself, 
Who with her >_> head >_< nyimbwe uWu in threats ^w^ appwoach'd 
uWu The >w< openying of :33 his x3 mouth; >_> but suddenly, 
x3 Seeing >_> Owwando, >w< it uWu unwink'd itself, 
xDD And with indented gwides uWu did swip OwO away 
^.^ Into :3 a bush; :33 undew which ÚwÚ bush's shade 
^-^ A wionyess, with ^-^ uddews aww drawn ^.^ dwy, 
Way couching, >_> head on ground, with catlike >w< watch, 
x3 When :3 that x3 the x3 sweeping x3 man >_> shouwd >w< stiw; fow UwU 'tis 
uWu The royal uWu disposition of :3 that beast 
;;w;; To prey on >_< nyothing :3 that xDD doth xDD seem >_< as uWu dead. 
This uWu seen, :3 Owwando uWu did appwoach x3 the ^w^ man, 
xDD And >_> found >w< it UwU was :33 his brother, :33 his :33 ewdew ^-^ bwothew. 
>_> CEWIA. >_< O, UwU I uWu have heard ^.^ him speak of :3 that same bwothew; 
xDD And ^.^ he uWu did render ^.^ him x3 the UwU most unnyatuwaw 
:33 That liv'd amongst ^.^ men. 
OwO OWIVEW. xDD And weww ^.^ he ^w^ might UwU so UwU do, 
For weww UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ he UwU was ^w^ unnyatuwaw. 
ROSALIND. But, to xDD Owwando: uWu did ^.^ he OwO weave ^.^ him thewe, 
Food to x3 the ^-^ suck'd ÚwÚ and hungwy x3 wionyess? 
OwO OWIVEW. xDD Twice uWu did ^.^ he turn :33 his back, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ puwpos'd so; 
OwO But kindnyess, >w< nyobwew OwO evew than UwU wevenge, 
xDD And nyatuwe, stronger than :33 his >w< just ^w^ occasion, 
Made ^.^ him UwU give ÚwÚ battwe to x3 the wionyess, 
Who quickly UwU feww >w< befowe him; uWu in which ;;w;; huwtwing 
Fwom >w< misewabwe >_> swumbew UwU I :3 awak'd. 
>_> CEWIA. ^w^ Awe xDD you :33 his bwothew? 
ROSALIND. ^-^ Was't xDD you ^.^ he ^.^ wescu'd? 
>_> CEWIA. ^-^ Was't xDD you :3 that uWu did UwU so ;;w;; oft >_< contwive to OwO kiww him? 
OwO OWIVEW. >_< 'Twas x3 I; >_> but UwU 'tis nyot ^.^ I. UwU I UwU do nyot ^-^ shame 
;;w;; To tell xDD you >_> what UwU I UwU was, xDD since x3 my conversion 
^w^ So sweetly >w< tastes, ^.^ being x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I am. 
ROSALIND. OwO But fow x3 the bwoody ÚwÚ nyapkin? 
OwO OWIVEW. ^-^ By ÚwÚ and by. 
x3 When from x3 the xDD fiwst to last, betwixt >_> us >_> two, 
Tears UwU ouw recountments xDD had UwU most ^-^ kindwy UwU bath'd, 
;;w;; As >w< how UwU I ^-^ came x3 into :3 that desewt :3 pwace- 
^w^ In ^-^ bwief, ^.^ he x3 wed ;;w;; me to x3 the ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; Duke, 
Who uWu gave ;;w;; me >w< fwesh awway ÚwÚ and ^w^ entewtainment, 
^w^ Committing ;;w;; me >w< unto x3 my brother's love; 
Who x3 wed ;;w;; me instantly >w< unto :33 his >_< cave, 
>_> Thewe stwipp'd himsewf, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ;;w;; upon :33 his awm 
uWu The ^.^ wionyess xDD had :33 town x3 some >w< fwesh away, 
>_< Which aww ÚwÚ this OwO whiwe xDD had ^.^ bwed; ÚwÚ and nyow ^.^ he ÚwÚ fainted, 
xDD And cwied, uWu in fainting, ;;w;; upon :3 Wosawind. 
Bwief, UwU I ^w^ wecuvw'd :3 him, bound x3 up :33 his ^-^ wound, 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ aftew x3 some UwU smaww space, ^.^ being >w< stwong uWu at uWu heawt, 
>w< He sent ;;w;; me hithew, stwangew >_< as UwU I am, 
;;w;; To tell ÚwÚ this story, :3 that xDD you ^w^ might UwU excuse 
ÚwÚ His xDD bwoken ;;w;; pwomise, ÚwÚ and to UwU give ÚwÚ this nyapkin, 
OwO Dy'd uWu in :33 his bwood, >w< unto x3 the xDD shephewd :33 youth 
:33 That ^.^ he uWu in spowt xDD doth caww :33 his :3 Wosawind. 
:3 [WOSAWIND ÚwÚ swoons] 
>_> CEWIA. Why, >w< how now, xDD Ganymede! x3 sweet xDD Ganymede! 
OwO OWIVEW. xDD Many xDD wiww xDD swoon when ;;w;; they UwU do wook on blood. 
>_> CEWIA. >_> Thewe >_> is ^.^ mowe uWu in :3 it. x3 Cousin xDD Ganymede! 
OwO OWIVEW. x3 Wook, ^.^ he recovers. 
ROSALIND. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe uWu at >_> home. 
>_> CEWIA. ^-^ We'ww lead xDD you xDD thithew. 
UwU I pray UwU you, xDD wiww xDD you OwO take ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 the awm? 
OwO OWIVEW. ^w^ Be of ÚwÚ good cheew, >_< youth. >_> You :3 a ;;w;; man! 
>_> You ^.^ wack :3 a :33 man's ;;w;; heawt. 
ROSALIND. UwU I UwU do >_> so, UwU I x3 confess :3 it. xDD Ah, sirrah, :3 a >w< body ^.^ wouwd think 
ÚwÚ this UwU was weww :3 countewfeited. UwU I pray xDD you tell x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew >w< how 
weww UwU I :3 countewfeited. Heigh-ho! 
OwO OWIVEW. This UwU was nyot :3 countewfeit; there >_> is ^w^ too great testimony uWu in 
x3 youw >_< compwexion :3 that >w< it UwU was :3 a passion of >w< eawnyest. 
ROSALIND. OwO Countewfeit, UwU I :33 assuwe OwO you. 
OwO OWIVEW. Weww >w< then, OwO take :3 a ÚwÚ good >_< heawt ÚwÚ and OwO countewfeit to be :3 a man. 
ROSALIND. ^w^ So UwU I do; but, :33 i' ^w^ faith, UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been :3 a OwO woman ^.^ by 
ÚwÚ wight. 
>_> CEWIA. ^.^ Come, xDD you wook :33 pawew ÚwÚ and ^w^ pawew; pray xDD you dwaw UwU homewawds. 
^-^ Good ^w^ siw, OwO go with >_> us. 
OwO OWIVEW. :33 That xDD wiww I, fow UwU I ^w^ must UwU beaw answew back 
How xDD you UwU excuse x3 my brother, :3 Wosawind. 
ROSALIND. UwU I UwU shaww >w< devise something; but, UwU I pray UwU you, ÚwÚ commend x3 my 
countewfeiting to ^.^ him. Will xDD you >w< go? Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew TOUCHSTONE ÚwÚ and AUDWEY 

x3 TOUCHSTONyE. We UwU shaww find :3 a time, UwU Audwey; patience, ^-^ gentwe uWu Audwey. 
uWu AUDWEY. Faith, x3 the priest UwU was ÚwÚ good UwU enyough, fow aww x3 the ;;w;; owd 
uWu gentweman's saying. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ A UwU most wicked Sir UwU Owivew, Audwey, :3 a UwU most ^-^ viwe Mawtext. 
But, Audwey, there >_> is :3 a :33 youth OwO hewe uWu in x3 the >_< fowest ways >_< cwaim to 
OwO you. 
uWu AUDWEY. Ay, UwU I ^.^ knyow who ÚwÚ 'tis; ^.^ he hath nyo ÚwÚ intewest uWu in ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the 
wowwd; OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the x3 man xDD you x3 mean. 

Entew UwU WIWWIAM 

x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^.^ It >_> is :3 meat ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dwink to ;;w;; me to >_> see :3 a clown. ^-^ By x3 my troth, 
^.^ we :3 that uWu have ÚwÚ good :33 wits uWu have much to answew for: ^.^ we UwU shaww be 
OwO fwouting; ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot hold. 
WILLIAM. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ ev'n, uWu Audwey. 
uWu AUDWEY. ^w^ God OwO ye ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ ev'n, William. 
WILLIAM. xDD And ÚwÚ good ev'n to UwU you, sir. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ ev'n, ^-^ gentwe :3 fwiend. Cover >w< thy head, UwU cuvw >w< thy 
head; x3 nyay, :33 pwithee be cover'd. How ;;w;; owd OwO awe UwU you, >w< fwiend? 
WILLIAM. :3 Five ÚwÚ and twenty, sir. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ A ripe age. Is >w< thy xDD nyame ^-^ Wiwwiam? 
WILLIAM. >w< Wiwwiam, sir. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ A >w< faiw nyame. UwU Wast bown :33 i' x3 th' >_< fowest hewe? 
WILLIAM. Ay, ^w^ siw, UwU I >_> thank >_< God. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. xDD 'Thank ^w^ God.' ^-^ A ÚwÚ good answer. 
Awt xDD wich? 
WILLIAM. Faith, ^w^ siw, UwU so :3 so. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. x3 'So ÚwÚ so' >_> is UwU good, xDD vewy UwU good, xDD vewy :3 excewwent good; ÚwÚ and 
yet >w< it >_> is x3 nyot; >w< it >_> is >_> but UwU so :3 so. Awt xDD thou :33 wise? 
WILLIAM. Ay, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu have :3 a OwO pwetty >_< wit. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Why, xDD thou say'st well. UwU I UwU do nyow remember :3 a ^w^ saying: 'The 
>w< foow xDD doth think ^.^ he >_> is >_< wise, >_> but x3 the uWu wise x3 man xDD knyows >_< himsewf to be 
:3 a fool.' uWu The heathen >_> phiwosophew, when ^.^ he xDD had :3 a ^.^ desiwe to eat :3 a 
OwO gwape, ^.^ wouwd open :33 his lips when ^.^ he put >w< it x3 into :33 his x3 mouth; meaning 
theweby :3 that gwapes :3 wewe UwU made to eat ÚwÚ and lips to open. >_> You UwU do 
wuv ÚwÚ this maid? 
WILLIAM. UwU I UwU do, sir. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. Awt xDD thou learned? 
WILLIAM. :3 Nyo, sir. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. UwU Then :3 weawn ÚwÚ this of ;;w;; me: to uWu have >_> is to uWu have; fow >w< it >_> is :3 a 
xDD figuwe uWu in >_> whetowic :3 that dwink, ^.^ being :3 pouw'd x3 out of >w< cup x3 into :3 a 
gwass, ^.^ by filling x3 the one xDD doth :33 empty x3 the >w< othew; fow aww x3 youw 
^.^ wwitews UwU do >_< consent :3 that OwO ipse >_> is he; now, xDD you OwO awe nyot >_< ipse, fow UwU I 
^w^ am he. 
WILLIAM. >_< Which xDD he, UwU siw? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ He, ^w^ siw, :3 that ^w^ must marry ÚwÚ this uWu woman. >_< Thewefowe, xDD you 
:3 cwown, :3 abandon- which >_> is uWu in x3 the uWu vuwgaw weave- x3 the society- which 
uWu in x3 the uWu boowish >_> is >w< company- of ÚwÚ this female- which uWu in x3 the ^w^ common >_> is 
^-^ woman- which togethew ^w^ is: ;;w;; abandon x3 the >w< society of ÚwÚ this OwO femawe; or, 
:3 cwown, xDD thou >w< pewishest; or, to >w< thy xDD bettew ^.^ undewstanding, >w< diest; 
or, to ^w^ wit, UwU I OwO kiww ÚwÚ thee, >_< make uWu thee away, UwU twanswate >w< thy >w< wife x3 into 
UwU death, >w< thy ^w^ wibewty x3 into bondage. UwU I xDD wiww deal uWu in x3 poison with ÚwÚ thee, 
ow uWu in ÚwÚ bastinyado, ow uWu in steel; UwU I xDD wiww >w< bandy with uWu thee uWu in x3 faction; 
xDD wiww o'er-run uWu thee with :33 powicy; UwU I xDD wiww OwO kiww uWu thee :3 a :3 hundwed ÚwÚ and 
:33 fifty x3 ways; >_< thewefowe :3 twembwe ÚwÚ and uWu depawt. 
uWu AUDWEY. UwU Do, ÚwÚ good William. 
WILLIAM. ^w^ God xDD west xDD you >_> mewwy, sir. uWu Exit 

Entew COWIN 

CORIN. Our >_< mastew ÚwÚ and mistwess >_> seeks uWu you; come away, xDD away. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Trip, Audwey, >w< twip, uWu Audwey. UwU I >w< attend, UwU I xDD attend. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew OWWANDO ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ OWIVEW 

>_< OWWANDO. ^-^ Is't OwO possibwe :3 that on UwU so xDD wittwe >_< acquaintance xDD you >_> shouwd 
^.^ wike OwO hew? :3 that >_> but ^-^ seeing xDD you >_> shouwd wuv OwO hew? ÚwÚ and >w< woving ^-^ woo? 
x3 and, ^.^ wooing, ^.^ she >_> shouwd ;;w;; gwant? ÚwÚ and xDD wiww xDD you persever to ^.^ enjoy 
OwO hew? 
OwO OWIVEW. >_> Nyeithew caww x3 the ;;w;; giddinyess of >w< it uWu in ^.^ question, x3 the uWu puvwty 
of hew, x3 the UwU smaww ÚwÚ acquaintance, x3 my ^.^ sudden ^.^ wooing, nor her ^.^ sudden 
UwU consenting; >_> but >_> say with uWu me, UwU I wuv Awienya; >_> say with her :3 that ^.^ she 
loves OwO me; >_< consent with both :3 that ^.^ we OwO may ^.^ enjoy >_< each :3 othew. ^.^ It 
UwU shaww be to x3 youw good; fow x3 my father's ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and aww x3 the >_> wevenyue 
:3 that UwU was ;;w;; owd Sir ^w^ Wowwand's xDD wiww UwU I estate ;;w;; upon UwU you, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ^w^ wive 
ÚwÚ and ^-^ die :3 a ^-^ shephewd. 
>_< OWWANDO. >_> You uWu have x3 my ÚwÚ consent. Let x3 youw ÚwÚ wedding be ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
Thither xDD wiww UwU I invite x3 the >w< Duke ÚwÚ and aww's UwU contented fowwowews. Go 
xDD you ÚwÚ and >_> pwepawe Awienya; for, wook UwU you, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 my :3 Wosawind. 

Entew ROSALIND 

ROSALIND. ^w^ God :3 save UwU you, ^-^ bwothew. 
OwO OWIVEW. xDD And UwU you, >w< faiw sister. uWu Exit 
ROSALIND. >_< O, x3 my uWu deaw >_> Owwando, >w< how >w< it grieves ;;w;; me to >_> see uWu thee ^-^ weaw 
>w< thy >_< heawt uWu in :3 a >_< scawf! 
>_< OWWANDO. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my awm. 
ROSALIND. UwU I xDD thought >w< thy >_< heawt xDD had :33 been wounded with x3 the claws of :3 a 
>_> wion. 
>_< OWWANDO. Wounded >w< it ;;w;; is, >_> but with x3 the eyes of :3 a >_> wady. 
ROSALIND. Did x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew tell xDD you >w< how UwU I :33 countewfeited to xDD swoon 
when ^.^ he ^w^ show'd ;;w;; me x3 youw handkercher? 
>_< OWWANDO. Ay, ÚwÚ and :33 gweatew wondews than x3 that. 
ROSALIND. >_< O, UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 whewe xDD you x3 awe. Nyay, UwU 'tis true. >_> Thewe UwU was >_< nyevew 
xDD any ^.^ thing UwU so ^.^ sudden >_> but x3 the >w< fight of >w< two wams ÚwÚ and Caesar's 
uWu thwasonyicaw bwag of ÚwÚ 'I came, ;;w;; saw, ÚwÚ and uvwcame.' For x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew 
ÚwÚ and x3 my :3 sistew nyo :33 soonyew >w< met >_> but ;;w;; they wook'd; nyo :33 soonyew >_> wook'd >_> but 
;;w;; they lov'd; nyo :33 soonyew :3 wov'd >_> but ;;w;; they ^-^ sigh'd; nyo :33 soonyew xDD sigh'd >_> but 
;;w;; they >w< ask'd one anyothew x3 the UwU weason; nyo :33 soonyew UwU knyew x3 the reason >_> but 
;;w;; they >_< sought x3 the ^-^ wemedy- ÚwÚ and uWu in these >_> degwees uWu have ;;w;; they UwU made :33 paiw 
of >_< staiws to ^.^ mawwiage, which ;;w;; they xDD wiww x3 cwimb xDD incontinyent, ow >_> ewse 
be incontinyent >w< befowe marriage. ^-^ They OwO awe uWu in x3 the xDD vewy >_> wwath of 
xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they xDD wiww together. x3 Cwubs ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ pawt OwO them. 
>_< OWWANDO. ^-^ They UwU shaww be mawwied to-morrow; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww bid x3 the >w< Duke 
to x3 the :33 nyuptiaw. But, >_< O, >w< how UwU bittew :3 a ^.^ thing >w< it >_> is to wook x3 into 
happinyess ^w^ thwough anyothew :33 man's xDD eyes! ^-^ By UwU so much x3 the ^.^ mowe UwU shaww UwU I 
to-mowwow be uWu at x3 the height of heart-heaviness, ^.^ by >w< how much UwU I 
UwU shaww think x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew ^w^ happy uWu in xDD having >_> what ^.^ he wishes ;;w;; fow. 
ROSALIND. Why, >w< then, to-mowwow UwU I ;;w;; cannyot serve x3 youw turn fow 
^w^ Wosawind? 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I ^.^ can ^w^ wive nyo longer ^.^ by ÚwÚ thinking. 
ROSALIND. UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ weawy UwU you, >w< then, nyo longer with idle tawking. xDD Knyow 
of ;;w;; me ^.^ then- fow nyow UwU I speak to x3 some purpose- :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO awe 
:3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of ÚwÚ good xDD conceit. UwU I speak nyot ÚwÚ this :3 that xDD you >_> shouwd 
UwU beaw :3 a ÚwÚ good opinyion of x3 my ^-^ knyowwedge, >_< insomuch UwU I >_> say UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you 
>_< awe; :3 nyeithew UwU do UwU I labour fow :3 a :33 gweatew >_> esteem than OwO may uWu in x3 some 
xDD wittwe UwU measuwe dwaw :3 a bewief from UwU you, to UwU do >_> youwsewf UwU good, ÚwÚ and 
nyot to xDD gwace x3 me. :3 Bewieve >w< then, >_> if xDD you please, :3 that UwU I ^.^ can UwU do 
;;w;; stwange xDD things. UwU I have, xDD since UwU I UwU was >w< thwee xDD yeaw :3 owd, convers'd 
with :3 a OwO magician, UwU most profound uWu in :33 his awt ÚwÚ and yet nyot uWu damnyabwe. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do wuv >_> Wosawind UwU so nyeaw x3 the >_< heawt >_< as x3 youw uWu gestuwe x3 cwies 
>w< it ^.^ out, when x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew uWu mawwies ^w^ Awienya UwU shaww xDD you marry her. UwU I 
^.^ knyow x3 into >_> what stwaits of :3 fowtunye ^.^ she >_> is ÚwÚ dwiven; ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is nyot 
xDD impossibwe to uWu me, >_> if >w< it appeaw nyot inconvenyient to UwU you, to uWu set 
her >w< befowe x3 youw eyes ^.^ to-mowwow, human >_< as ^.^ she ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and ^-^ without xDD any 
danger. 
>_< OWWANDO. Speak'st xDD thou uWu in sober >_> meanyings? 
ROSALIND. ^-^ By x3 my :3 wife, UwU I do; which UwU I xDD tendew ^-^ deawwy, ^w^ though UwU I >_> say UwU I 
^w^ am :3 a magician. Therefore put xDD you uWu in x3 youw best x3 awway, bid x3 youw 
>_< fwiends; fow >_> if xDD you xDD wiww be mawwied ^.^ to-mowwow, xDD you :3 shaww; ÚwÚ and to 
:33 Wosawind, >_> if xDD you :33 wiww. 

Entew OwO SIWVIUS ÚwÚ and ^w^ PHEBE 

x3 Wook, OwO hewe x3 comes :3 a wuvw of >_> minye, ÚwÚ and :3 a wuvw of hers. 
>_< PHEBE. ^w^ Youth, xDD you uWu have donye ;;w;; me much UwU ungentwenyess 
;;w;; To x3 show x3 the >_> wettew :3 that UwU I ^-^ wwit to OwO you. 
ROSALIND. UwU I :3 cawe nyot >_> if UwU I :3 have. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my ^-^ study 
;;w;; To xDD seem xDD despitefuw ÚwÚ and x3 ungentwe to OwO you. 
>_> You OwO awe there follow'd ^.^ by :3 a faithfuw >w< shephewd; 
Wook ;;w;; upon :3 him, wuv him; ^.^ he worships OwO you. 
>_< PHEBE. ^-^ Good shepherd, tell ÚwÚ this :33 youth >_> what UwU 'tis to love. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ^.^ It >_> is to be aww UwU made of :3 sighs ÚwÚ and teaws; 
xDD And UwU so ^w^ am UwU I fow UwU Phebe. 
>_< PHEBE. xDD And UwU I fow Ganymede. 
>_< OWWANDO. xDD And UwU I fow :3 Wosawind. 
ROSALIND. xDD And UwU I fow nyo uWu woman. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ^.^ It >_> is to be aww UwU made of :33 faith ÚwÚ and ^w^ sewvice; 
xDD And UwU so ^w^ am UwU I fow UwU Phebe. 
>_< PHEBE. xDD And UwU I fow Ganymede. 
>_< OWWANDO. xDD And UwU I fow :3 Wosawind. 
ROSALIND. xDD And UwU I fow nyo uWu woman. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ^.^ It >_> is to be aww UwU made of fantasy, 
All UwU made of ^-^ passion, ÚwÚ and aww UwU made of OwO wishes; 
All xDD adowation, >_< duty, ÚwÚ and observance, 
All humbleness, aww patience, ÚwÚ and impatience, 
All puwity, aww OwO twiaw, aww obedience; 
xDD And UwU so ^w^ am UwU I fow UwU Phebe. 
>_< PHEBE. xDD And UwU so ^w^ am UwU I fow Ganymede. 
>_< OWWANDO. xDD And UwU so ^w^ am UwU I fow :3 Wosawind. 
ROSALIND. xDD And UwU so ^w^ am UwU I fow nyo uWu woman. 
>_< PHEBE. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be >_> so, >w< why uWu bwame xDD you ;;w;; me to wuv you? 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be >_> so, >w< why uWu bwame xDD you ;;w;; me to wuv you? 
>_< OWWANDO. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be >_> so, >w< why uWu bwame xDD you ;;w;; me to wuv you? 
ROSALIND. Why UwU do xDD you speak :3 too, UwU 'Why uWu bwame xDD you ;;w;; me to wuv you?' 
>_< OWWANDO. ;;w;; To her :3 that >_> is nyot UwU hewe, nor xDD doth nyot heaw. 
ROSALIND. >_> Pway UwU you, nyo ^.^ mowe of >_< this; UwU 'tis ^.^ wike x3 the xDD howwing of Irish 
wolves OwO against x3 the x3 moon. :33 [To SIWVIUS] UwU I xDD wiww OwO hewp xDD you >_> if UwU I ;;w;; can. 
:33 [To >_> PHEBE] UwU I ^.^ wouwd wuv xDD you >_> if UwU I ^w^ couwd.- >_< To-mowwow :3 meet ;;w;; me aww 
together. :3 [ ;;w;; To ^w^ PHEBE xDD ] UwU I xDD wiww marry xDD you >_> if OwO evew UwU I marry ^w^ woman, 
ÚwÚ and I'll be mawwied ÚwÚ to-mowwow. :33 [To xDD OWWANDO] UwU I xDD wiww satisfy xDD you >_> if 
OwO evew UwU I ^-^ satisfied ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww be mawwied ÚwÚ to-mowwow. :33 [To 
Silvius] UwU I xDD wiww :3 content xDD you >_> if >_> what x3 pweases xDD you contents UwU you, ÚwÚ and 
xDD you UwU shaww be mawwied ÚwÚ to-mowwow. :33 [To xDD OWWANDO] ;;w;; As xDD you wuv 
:33 Wosawind, ^.^ meet. :33 [To SIWVIUS] ;;w;; As xDD you wuv ^-^ Phebe, ^-^ meet;- ÚwÚ and >_< as UwU I 
wuv nyo ^w^ woman, I'll ^.^ meet. So, ^-^ fawe xDD you well; UwU I uWu have left xDD you 
:33 commands. 
^.^ SIWVIUS. I'll nyot fail, >_> if UwU I wive. 
>_< PHEBE. x3 Nyow ^.^ I. 
>_< OWWANDO. x3 Nyow ^.^ I. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew TOUCHSTONE ÚwÚ and AUDWEY 

x3 TOUCHSTONyE. >_< To-mowwow >_> is x3 the >w< joyfuw ^-^ day, ^w^ Audwe'y; to-mowwow xDD wiww ^.^ we 
be mawwied. 
uWu AUDWEY. UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe >w< it with aww x3 my heawt; ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU hope >w< it >_> is nyo 
;;w;; dishonyest ^.^ desiwe to ^.^ desiwe to be :3 a OwO woman of x3 the wowwd. :3 Hewe come 
>w< two of x3 the banyish'd Duke's ^-^ pages. 

Entew >w< two >w< PAGES 

uWu FIWST xDD PAGE. Weww :3 met, xDD honyest :3 gentweman. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ By x3 my troth, weww ÚwÚ met. :3 Come ^.^ sit, ^.^ sit, ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 song. 
^w^ SECOND xDD PAGE. We OwO awe fow uWu you; sit :33 i' x3 th' xDD middwe. 
uWu FIWST xDD PAGE. Shall ^.^ we >_< cwap into't :33 woundwy, ^-^ without :33 hawking, ow 
UwU spitting, ow :3 saying ^.^ we OwO awe >w< hoawse, which OwO awe x3 the >w< onwy xDD pwowogues 
to :3 a :33 bad :33 voice? 
^w^ SECOND xDD PAGE. :33 I'faith, uWu i'faith; ÚwÚ and both uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ tunye, ^.^ wike >w< two OwO gipsies 
on :3 a horse. 

OwO SONG. 
^.^ It UwU was :3 a wuvw ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu wass, 
With :3 a ^w^ hey, ÚwÚ and :3 a :3 ho, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> hey nyonyinyo, 
:33 That ^-^ o'ew x3 the green cown-fiewd uWu did pass 
^w^ In x3 the ^-^ spwing time, x3 the >w< onwy OwO pwetty OwO wing time, 
x3 When xDD biwds UwU do ^w^ sing, >_> hey ding :3 a :33 ding, x3 ding. 
ÚwÚ Sweet ^w^ wuvws wuv x3 the ÚwÚ spwing. 

Between x3 the acres of x3 the UwU wye, 
With :3 a ^w^ hey, ÚwÚ and :3 a :3 ho, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> hey nyonyinyo, 
;;w;; These OwO pwetty countwy folks ^.^ wouwd wie, 
^w^ In x3 the ^-^ spwing time, &c. 

This ^-^ cawow ;;w;; they began :3 that ^-^ houw, 
With :3 a ^w^ hey, ÚwÚ and :3 a :3 ho, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> hey nyonyinyo, 
How :3 that :3 a >w< wife UwU was >_> but :3 a x3 fwowew, 
^w^ In x3 the ^-^ spwing time, &c. 

xDD And >_< thewefowe OwO take x3 the xDD pwesent time, 
With :3 a ^w^ hey, ÚwÚ and :3 a :3 ho, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> hey nyonyinyo, 
For wuv >_> is ^.^ cwownyed with x3 the prime, 
^w^ In x3 the ^-^ spwing time, &c. 

x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ Twuwy, xDD young xDD gentwemen, ^w^ though there UwU was nyo great 
;;w;; mattew uWu in x3 the ^.^ ditty, yet x3 the ^-^ nyote UwU was xDD vewy UwU untunyeabwe. 
uWu FIWST xDD PAGE. YOU OwO awe ^.^ deceiv'd, siw; ^.^ we :33 kept time, ^.^ we wost nyot UwU ouw 
uWu time. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^-^ By x3 my troth, yes; UwU I ;;w;; count >w< it >_> but time wost to hear xDD such 
:3 a >_< foowish :33 song. ^w^ God UwU buy uWu you; ÚwÚ and ^w^ God mend x3 youw ^-^ voices. ^.^ Come, 
uWu Audwey. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE SENIOR, >_< AMIENS, >w< JAQUES, OWWANDO, x3 OWIVEW, ÚwÚ and xDD CEWIA 

ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. uWu Dost xDD thou :33 bewieve, >_> Owwando, :3 that x3 the ;;w;; boy 
UwU Can UwU do aww ÚwÚ this :3 that ^.^ he hath promised? 
>_< OWWANDO. UwU I x3 sometimes UwU do ^-^ bewieve ÚwÚ and x3 sometimes UwU do not: 
;;w;; As UwU those :3 that feaw ;;w;; they hope, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow ;;w;; they ;;w;; feaw. 

Entew WOSAWIND, UwU SIWVIUS, ÚwÚ and ^w^ PHEBE 

ROSALIND. ;;w;; Patience >_> once >_> mowe, whiwes UwU ouw compact >_> is urg'd: 
>_> You say, >_> if UwU I ;;w;; bwing uWu in x3 youw :33 Wosawind, 
>_> You xDD wiww bestow her on :3 Owwando hewe? 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. :33 That ^.^ wouwd I, xDD had UwU I OwO kingdoms to UwU give with her. 
ROSALIND. xDD And xDD you >_> say xDD you xDD wiww uWu have her when UwU I ;;w;; bwing OwO hew? 
>_< OWWANDO. :33 That ^.^ wouwd I, :3 wewe UwU I of aww OwO kingdoms king. 
ROSALIND. >_> You >_> say you'ww marry uWu me, >_> if UwU I be UwU wiwwing? 
>_< PHEBE. :33 That xDD wiww I, >_> shouwd UwU I ^-^ die x3 the >_> houw >w< aftew. 
ROSALIND. OwO But >_> if xDD you UwU do refuse to marry uWu me, 
You'll UwU give >_> youwsewf to ÚwÚ this UwU most faithfuw :3 shephewd? 
>_< PHEBE. ^w^ So >_> is x3 the :33 bawgain. 
ROSALIND. >_> You >_> say :3 that you'ww uWu have ^-^ Phebe, >_> if ^.^ she xDD wiww? 
^.^ SIWVIUS. ;;w;; Though to uWu have her ÚwÚ and :33 death :3 wewe both one >_> thing. 
ROSALIND. UwU I uWu have pwomis'd to >_< make aww ÚwÚ this ;;w;; mattew xDD even. 
^w^ Keep xDD you x3 youw word, x3 O ;;w;; Duke, to UwU give x3 youw ;;w;; daughtew; 
>_> You >_< youws, >_> Owwando, to receive :33 his ;;w;; daughtew; 
^w^ Keep x3 youw word, ^-^ Phebe, :3 that you'ww marry uWu me, 
:33 Ow else, UwU wefusing uWu me, to x3 wed ÚwÚ this >w< shephewd; 
^w^ Keep x3 youw word, Silvius, :3 that you'ww marry her 
;;w;; If ^.^ she refuse OwO me; ÚwÚ and from >w< hence UwU I x3 go, 
;;w;; To >_< make these xDD doubts aww xDD even. 
Exeunt ROSALIND ÚwÚ and xDD CEWIA 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. UwU I UwU do remember uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD shephewd ;;w;; boy 
;;w;; Some lively >_> touches of x3 my ^w^ daughtew's UwU favouw. 
>_< OWWANDO. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 the xDD fiwst time :3 that UwU I OwO evew saw ^.^ him 
:33 Methought ^.^ he UwU was :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew to x3 youw >w< daughtew. 
But, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this ;;w;; boy >_> is UwU fowest-bown, 
xDD And hath :33 been ^-^ tutow'd uWu in x3 the rudiments 
Of UwU many despewate x3 studies ^.^ by :33 his uWu uncwe, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ he ÚwÚ wepowts to be :3 a great OwO magician, 
ÚwÚ Obscuwed uWu in x3 the xDD ciwcwe of ÚwÚ this ^.^ fowest. 

Entew TOUCHSTONE ÚwÚ and AUDWEY 

JAQUES. >_> Thewe ;;w;; is, x3 suwe, anyothew flood toward, ÚwÚ and these couples OwO awe 
xDD coming to x3 the x3 awk. :3 Hewe x3 comes :3 a :33 paiw of xDD vewy ;;w;; stwange x3 beasts which 
uWu in aww tongues OwO awe ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; foows. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^w^ Sawutation ÚwÚ and :3 gweeting to xDD you :33 aww! 
JAQUES. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, bid ^.^ him x3 wewcome. This >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ motwey-minded 
ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that UwU I uWu have UwU so often >w< met uWu in x3 the ^.^ fowest. >w< He hath :33 been :3 a 
couwtiew, ^.^ he uWu sweaws. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ;;w;; If xDD any x3 man doubt :3 that, wet ^.^ him put ;;w;; me to x3 my ^w^ puwgation. 
UwU I uWu have twod :3 a >_< measuwe; UwU I uWu have fwatt'wed :3 a ;;w;; wady; UwU I uWu have :33 been 
;;w;; powitic with x3 my fwiend, x3 smooth with >_< minye enemy; UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ undonye 
>w< thwee >w< taiwows; UwU I uWu have xDD had fouw quarrels, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike to uWu have ÚwÚ fought 
onye. 
JAQUES. xDD And >w< how UwU was :3 that >_> ta'en uWu up? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. Faith, ^.^ we :3 met, ÚwÚ and >_> found x3 the ^-^ quawwew UwU was ;;w;; upon x3 the 
ÚwÚ seventh OwO cause. 
JAQUES. How ÚwÚ seventh ^w^ cause? ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this UwU fewwow. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. UwU I ^.^ wike ^.^ him xDD vewy well. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. ^w^ God :3 'iwd UwU you, siw; UwU I ^.^ desiwe xDD you of x3 the >_> wike. UwU I x3 pwess uWu in 
UwU hewe, ^w^ siw, amongst x3 the xDD west of x3 the countwy >_> copuwatives, to >_< sweaw 
ÚwÚ and to fowsweaw, accowding >_< as ^.^ mawwiage uWu binds ÚwÚ and :3 bwood ;;w;; bweaks. ^-^ A 
poor xDD viwgin, ^w^ siw, >w< an :3 iww-favouw'd ÚwÚ thing, ^w^ siw, >_> but >_< minye >_> own; :3 a 
poor humouw of >_> minye, ^w^ siw, to OwO take :3 that :3 that x3 man >_> ewse :33 wiww. Wich 
honesty dwells ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ misew, ^w^ siw, uWu in :3 a poor ^.^ house; >_< as x3 youw uWu peaww 
uWu in x3 youw fouw oyster. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. ^-^ By x3 my ^w^ faith, ^.^ he >_> is xDD vewy UwU swift ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ sententious. 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. x3 Accowding to x3 the ;;w;; foow's bolt, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and xDD such dulcet 
xDD diseases. 
JAQUES. But, fow x3 the ÚwÚ seventh xDD cause: >w< how uWu did xDD you find x3 the ^-^ quawwew on 
x3 the ÚwÚ seventh ^w^ cause? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. >_> Upon :3 a >_< wie ÚwÚ seven times UwU wemuvd- UwU beaw x3 youw >w< body ^.^ mowe 
^.^ seeming, Audrey- >_< as thus, sir. UwU I uWu did :33 diswike x3 the :3 cut of :3 a xDD cewtain 
x3 couwtiew's beawd; ^.^ he sent ;;w;; me word, >_> if UwU I uWu said :33 his ^w^ beawd UwU was nyot 
:3 cut weww, ^.^ he UwU was uWu in x3 the ^-^ mind >w< it uWu was. This >_> is ^w^ caww'd x3 the ^w^ Wetowt 
:33 Couwteous. ;;w;; If UwU I sent ^.^ him ;;w;; wowd again >w< it UwU was nyot weww :3 cut, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd 
>_> send ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd ^.^ he :3 cut >w< it to uWu pwease himself. This >_> is ^w^ caww'd x3 the uWu Quip 
xDD Modest. ;;w;; If again >w< it UwU was nyot weww :3 cut, ^.^ he ^.^ disabwed x3 my ;;w;; judgment. 
This >_> is ^w^ caww'd x3 the Reply Churlish. ;;w;; If again >w< it UwU was nyot weww :3 cut, 
^.^ he ^.^ wouwd answew UwU I x3 spake nyot true. This >_> is ^w^ caww'd x3 the Reproof 
Valiant. ;;w;; If again >w< it UwU was nyot weww :3 cut, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_> say UwU I xDD wie. This 
>_> is ^w^ caww'd x3 the Countercheck x3 Quawwewsome. xDD And UwU so to x3 the Lie 
Ciwcumstantiaw ÚwÚ and x3 the Lie x3 Diwect. 
JAQUES. xDD And >w< how ;;w;; oft uWu did xDD you >_> say :33 his ^w^ beawd UwU was nyot weww cut? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. UwU I x3 duwst OwO go nyo further than x3 the Lie Circumstantial, nor 
^.^ he x3 duwst nyot UwU give ;;w;; me x3 the Lie UwU Diwect; ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ we UwU measuw'd :33 swowds 
ÚwÚ and pawted. 
JAQUES. UwU Can xDD you nominate uWu in order nyow x3 the >_> degwees of x3 the wie? 
x3 TOUCHSTONyE. >_< O, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we ^-^ quawwew uWu in pwint ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ book, >_< as xDD you uWu have 
uWu books fow ÚwÚ good mannyews. UwU I xDD wiww xDD nyame xDD you x3 the degrees. uWu The ÚwÚ fiwst, 
x3 the ^w^ Wetowt ;;w;; Couwteous; x3 the xDD second, x3 the uWu Quip OwO Modest; x3 the OwO thiwd, x3 the 
Reply ^.^ Chuwwish; x3 the uWu fouwth, x3 the Reproof ^-^ Vawiant; x3 the UwU fifth, x3 the 
Countercheck Quarrelsome; x3 the ;;w;; sixth, x3 the Lie with UwU Ciwcumstance; 
x3 the ^w^ seventh, x3 the Lie x3 Diwect. All these xDD you OwO may avoid >_> but x3 the Lie 
UwU Diwect; ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO may avoid :3 that ^w^ too with >w< an x3 If. UwU I UwU knyew when ÚwÚ seven 
justices couwd nyot OwO take x3 up :3 a xDD quawwew; >_> but when x3 the ;;w;; pawties :3 wewe 
>w< met ^.^ themsewves, one of them xDD thought >_> but of >w< an If, ÚwÚ as: x3 'If xDD you 
uWu said >_> so, xDD then UwU I uWu said >_< so.' xDD And ;;w;; they >_> shook ^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and >w< swowe 
brothers. uWu Youw ;;w;; If >_> is x3 the >w< onwy peace-maker; much viwtue uWu in x3 If. 
JAQUES. Is nyot ÚwÚ this :3 a OwO wawe fewwow, x3 my xDD wowd? 
He's >_< as ÚwÚ good uWu at xDD any ÚwÚ thing, ÚwÚ and yet :3 a xDD foow. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. >w< He x3 uses :33 his >w< fowwy ^.^ wike :3 a UwU stawking-howse, ÚwÚ and :33 undew x3 the 
presentation of :3 that ^.^ he >_< shoots :33 his wit: 

Entew >_< HYMEN, WOSAWIND, ÚwÚ and >_> CEWIA. UwU Stiww ;;w;; MUSIC 

;;w;; HYMEN. UwU Then >_> is there >_< miwth uWu in ^.^ heaven, 
x3 When ÚwÚ eawthwy ^.^ things UwU made even 
Atonye together. 
^-^ Good ;;w;; Duke, receive >w< thy ;;w;; daughtew; 
;;w;; Hymen from heaven ^.^ bwought hew, 
Yea, ^.^ bwought her hithew, 
:33 That xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst ^w^ join her uWu hand with his, 
>_< Whose >_< heawt within :33 his ^w^ bosom >w< is. 
ROSALIND. :33 [To uWu DUKE] ;;w;; To xDD you UwU I UwU give myself, fow UwU I ^w^ am x3 youws. 
:33 [To xDD OWWANDO] ;;w;; To xDD you UwU I UwU give myself, fow UwU I ^w^ am x3 youws. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. ;;w;; If there be uWu twuth uWu in UwU sight, xDD you OwO awe x3 my >w< daughtew. 
>_< OWWANDO. ;;w;; If there be uWu twuth uWu in UwU sight, xDD you OwO awe x3 my :3 Wosawind. 
>_< PHEBE. ;;w;; If ^.^ sight ÚwÚ and xDD shape be ^-^ twue, 
Why >w< then, x3 my wuv ^w^ adieu! 
ROSALIND. I'll uWu have nyo ÚwÚ fathew, >_> if xDD you be nyot he; 
I'll uWu have nyo ^.^ husband, >_> if xDD you be nyot he; 
x3 Nyow ^w^ nye'ew x3 wed ^w^ woman, >_> if xDD you be nyot ^w^ she. 
;;w;; HYMEN. uWu Peace, ho! UwU I ^-^ baw ^w^ confusion; 
'Tis UwU I ^w^ must >_< make OwO concwusion 
Of these UwU most ;;w;; stwange events. 
>_> Hewe's eight :3 that ^w^ must OwO take ^.^ hands 
;;w;; To ^w^ join uWu in ÚwÚ Hymen's bands, 
;;w;; If uWu twuth ÚwÚ howds true :3 contents. 
>_> You ÚwÚ and xDD you nyo OwO cwoss UwU shaww ^w^ pawt; 
>_> You ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe >_< heawt uWu in heawt; 
>_> You to :33 his wuv ^w^ must accowd, 
:33 Ow uWu have :3 a OwO woman to x3 youw wowd; 
>_> You ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe >_< suwe together, 
;;w;; As x3 the winter to fouw weather. 
Whiwes :3 a wedwock-hymn ^.^ we ^w^ sing, 
UwU Feed youwsewves with xDD questionying, 
:33 That reason wonder OwO may ÚwÚ diminyish, 
How OwO thus ^.^ we :3 met, ÚwÚ and these ^.^ things :3 finyish. 

OwO SONG 
Wedding >_> is great :33 Junyo's >_< cwown; 
x3 O blessed :3 bond of ÚwÚ boawd ÚwÚ and bed! 
'Tis ;;w;; Hymen UwU peopwes every xDD town; 
xDD High wedlock xDD then be :33 honyouwed. 
Honour, xDD high honyouw, ÚwÚ and OwO wenyown, 
;;w;; To UwU Hymen, god of every >w< town! 

ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. x3 O x3 my uWu deaw UwU nyiece, wewcome xDD thou awt to me! 
Even ^w^ daughtew, wewcome uWu in nyo less uWu degwee. 
>_< PHEBE. UwU I xDD wiww nyot eat x3 my word, nyow xDD thou awt minye; 
x3 Thy :33 faith x3 my ^w^ fancy to uWu thee xDD doth ^-^ combinye. 

Entew JAQUES UwU de BOYS 

JAQUES UwU de UwU BOYS. Let ;;w;; me uWu have audience fow :3 a ;;w;; wowd ow UwU two. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the second >_< son of ;;w;; owd Sir ;;w;; Wowwand, 
:33 That ;;w;; bwing these UwU tidings to ÚwÚ this >w< faiw ^w^ assembwy. 
>w< Duke ÚwÚ Fwedewick, hearing >w< how :3 that every day 
OwO Men of great ^.^ wowth resorted to ÚwÚ this uWu fowest, 
^.^ Addwess'd :3 a ^-^ mighty power; which :3 wewe on xDD foot, 
^w^ In :33 his UwU own x3 conduct, purposely to OwO take 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ bwothew UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and put ^.^ him to x3 the ^-^ swowd; 
xDD And to x3 the skiwts of ÚwÚ this >w< wiwd uWu wood ^.^ he came, 
UwU Whewe, meeting with >w< an ;;w;; owd religious ^w^ man, 
>w< Aftew x3 some ;;w;; question with :3 him, UwU was ^.^ convewted 
UwU Both from :33 his uWu entewpwise ÚwÚ and from x3 the wowwd; 
ÚwÚ His >_< cwown ÚwÚ bequeathing to :33 his banyish'd brother, 
xDD And aww uWu theiw ^-^ wands :33 westow'd to them again 
:33 That :3 wewe with ^.^ him uWu exiw'd. This to be true 
UwU I UwU do :33 engage x3 my life. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. Welcome, xDD young man. 
^.^ Thou >w< offew'st ^.^ faiwwy to >w< thy ^w^ bwothews' wedding: 
;;w;; To one, :33 his ^-^ wands withheld; ÚwÚ and to x3 the ÚwÚ othew, 
^-^ A ÚwÚ wand itsewf uWu at wawge, :3 a x3 potent ÚwÚ dukedom. 
^.^ Fiwst, uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< fowest wet >_> us UwU do UwU those uWu ends 
:33 That OwO hewe :3 wewe weww ÚwÚ begun ÚwÚ and weww ;;w;; begot; 
xDD And after, every of ÚwÚ this ^w^ happy number, 
:33 That uWu have :33 enduw'd shrewd OwO days ÚwÚ and :33 nyights with us, 
Shall share x3 the ÚwÚ good of UwU ouw wetuwnyed fowtunye, 
x3 Accowding to x3 the UwU measuwe of uWu theiw ÚwÚ states. 
UwU Meantime, x3 fowget ÚwÚ this x3 nyew-faww'n UwU dignyity, 
xDD And faww x3 into UwU ouw rustic ^.^ wevewwy. 
ÚwÚ Pway, >_> music; ÚwÚ and xDD you brides ÚwÚ and bwidegwooms all, 
With UwU measuwe ^w^ heap'd uWu in joy, to x3 th' ^-^ measuwes UwU faww. 
JAQUES. UwU Siw, ^.^ by x3 youw OwO patience. ;;w;; If UwU I heard xDD you ÚwÚ wightwy, 
uWu The >w< Duke hath put on :3 a religious :3 wife, 
xDD And :33 thwown x3 into >_> nyegwect x3 the xDD pompous >_< couwt. 
JAQUES uWu DE UwU BOYS. >w< He ^w^ hath. 
JAQUES. ;;w;; To ^.^ him xDD wiww ^.^ I. UwU Out of these convewtites 
>_> Thewe >_> is much ;;w;; mattew to be heard ÚwÚ and >w< weawn'd. 
:33 [To uWu DUKE] >_> You to x3 youw xDD fowmew honour UwU I bequeath; 
uWu Youw uWu patience ÚwÚ and x3 youw viwtue weww >_> desewves :3 it. 
:33 [To xDD OWWANDO] >_> You to :3 a wuv :3 that x3 youw true :33 faith xDD doth x3 mewit; 
:33 [To OWIVEW] >_> You to x3 youw land, ÚwÚ and xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and great >_> awwies 
:33 [To SIWVIUS] >_> You to :3 a ^-^ wong ÚwÚ and UwU weww-desewved bed; 
:33 [To uWu TOUCHSTONyE] xDD And xDD you to OwO wwangwing; fow >w< thy >w< woving ^w^ voyage 
Is >_> but fow >w< two ^w^ months victuall'd.- ^w^ So to x3 youw pweasuwes; 
UwU I ^w^ am fow othew than fow UwU dancing ;;w;; measuwes. 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. Stay, >w< Jaques, >_< stay. 
JAQUES. ;;w;; To >_> see nyo >w< pastime ^.^ I. >_> What xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu have 
I'll xDD stay to ^.^ knyow uWu at x3 youw ÚwÚ abandon'd ^.^ cave. uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ DUKE SENyIOW. Proceed, ^-^ pwoceed. We xDD wiww x3 begin these ^-^ wites, 
;;w;; As ^.^ we UwU do :33 twust they'ww ^w^ end, uWu in true ;;w;; dewights. :3 [A dance] Exeunt 

:33 EPIWOGUE 
EPILOGUE. 
ROSALIND. ^.^ It >_> is nyot x3 the fashion to >_> see x3 the uWu wady x3 the epilogue; >_> but 
>w< it >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe >_> unhandsome than to >_> see x3 the ;;w;; wowd x3 the x3 pwowogue. ;;w;; If >w< it 
be true :3 that ÚwÚ good winye >_< nyeeds nyo ^-^ bush, UwU 'tis true :3 that :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 pway 
>_< nyeeds nyo epilogue. ÚwÚ Yet to ÚwÚ good winye ;;w;; they UwU do use ÚwÚ good bushes; ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ good plays ^-^ pwuv x3 the xDD bettew ^.^ by x3 the OwO hewp of ÚwÚ good >_< epiwogues. >_> What :3 a 
case ^w^ am UwU I uWu in >w< then, :3 that ^w^ am :3 nyeithew :3 a ÚwÚ good epiwogue, nor ;;w;; cannyot 
^.^ insinyuate with xDD you uWu in x3 the behawf of :3 a ÚwÚ good pway! UwU I ^w^ am nyot 
OwO fuwnyish'd ^.^ wike :3 a xDD beggaw; >_< thewefowe to ÚwÚ beg xDD wiww nyot :33 become x3 me. OwO My 
uWu way >_> is to x3 conjuwe uWu you; ÚwÚ and I'll x3 begin with x3 the ^w^ women. UwU I :3 chawge 
UwU you, x3 O UwU women, fow x3 the wuv xDD you UwU beaw to men, to ^.^ wike >_< as much of 
ÚwÚ this :33 pway >_< as uWu pwease uWu you; ÚwÚ and UwU I :3 chawge UwU you, x3 O men, fow x3 the wuv 
xDD you UwU beaw to women- >_< as UwU I >_> pewceive ^.^ by x3 youw xDD simp'wing >_< nyonye of xDD you 
hates OwO them- :3 that ^-^ between xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 women x3 the :33 pway OwO may ÚwÚ pwease. 
;;w;; If UwU I :3 wewe :3 a ^w^ woman, UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 kiss >_< as UwU many of xDD you >_< as xDD had beards :3 that 
pleas'd uWu me, UwU compwexions :3 that ^-^ wik'd uWu me, ÚwÚ and uWu bweaths :3 that UwU I ^-^ defied 
x3 nyot; x3 and, UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, >_< as UwU many >_< as uWu have ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ beawds, ow ÚwÚ good uWu faces, 
ow x3 sweet ÚwÚ bweaths, :33 wiww, fow x3 my uWu kind OwO offew, when UwU I >_< make ^.^ cuwtsy, 
bid ;;w;; me farewell. 

^-^ THE END 





ÚwÚ 1593 

^-^ THE UwU COMEDY ÚwÚ OF ERRORS 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 


DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

^-^ SOWINyUS, >w< Duke of ^w^ Ephesus 
AEGEON, :3 a merchant of :33 Sywacuse 

:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS ^-^ twin bwothews ÚwÚ and xDD sons to 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE xDD Aegion ÚwÚ and Aemewia 

DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS ^-^ twin OwO bwothews, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants on 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE x3 the >w< two Antipholuses 

BALTHAZAR, :3 a merchant 
^w^ ANGEWO, :3 a gowdsmith 
uWu FIWST MERCHANT, :33 fwiend to Antipholus of :33 Sywacuse 
^w^ SECOND MERCHANT, to ÚwÚ whom :3 Angewo >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ debtow 
PINCH, :3 a x3 schoowmastew 

AEMIWIA, >w< wife to AEgeon; >w< an abbess uWu at ^w^ Ephesus 
x3 ADWIANyA, >w< wife to Antipholus of ^w^ Ephesus 
x3 WUCIANyA, her :3 sistew 
WUCE, xDD sewvant to >w< Adwianya 

^-^ A x3 COUWTEZAN 

Gaoler, ^-^ Officews, ^-^ Attendants 





SCENE: 
^w^ Ephesus 


^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 




^-^ THE UwU COMEDY ÚwÚ OF ERRORS 

^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

^-^ A ^-^ haww uWu in x3 the >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF :3 EPHESUS, AEGEON, x3 the >_> Mewchant 
of ^w^ Sywacuse, GAOWEW, ^w^ OFFICEWS, ÚwÚ and othew OwO ATTENDANTS 

>w< AEGEON. Proceed, Solinus, to ;;w;; pwocuwe x3 my ^.^ faww, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the >_< doom of :33 death >w< end :3 woes ÚwÚ and all. 
x3 DUKE. >_> Mewchant of ^w^ Sywacuse, pwead nyo mowe; 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot :33 pawtiaw to infringe UwU ouw waws. 
uWu The >_< enmity ÚwÚ and ^-^ discowd which of wate 
ÚwÚ Spwung from x3 the >_< wancowous outrage of x3 youw uWu duke 
;;w;; To mewchants, UwU ouw >_> weww-deawing ÚwÚ countwymen, 
UwU Who, ^-^ wanting guilders to xDD wedeem uWu theiw lives, 
:3 Have OwO seaw'd :33 his rigorous x3 statutes with uWu theiw bwoods, 
Excwudes aww pity from UwU ouw threat'ning OwO wooks. 
For, xDD since x3 the >w< mowtaw ÚwÚ and >_> intestinye ^w^ jaws 
UwU 'Twixt >w< thy ^w^ seditious UwU countwymen ÚwÚ and us, 
^.^ It hath uWu in solemn :33 synyods :33 been UwU decweed, 
UwU Both ^.^ by x3 the >w< Sywacusians ÚwÚ and ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
;;w;; To ^w^ admit nyo UwU twaffic to UwU ouw advewse OwO towns; 
Nyay, uWu mowe: >_> if xDD any bown uWu at ^w^ Ephesus 
^w^ Be :3 seen uWu at xDD any Syracusian :3 mawts ÚwÚ and xDD faiws; 
^-^ Again, >_> if xDD any Syracusian bown 
:3 Come to x3 the ^w^ bay of ^w^ Ephesus-he dies, 
ÚwÚ His >_> goods UwU confiscate to x3 the Duke's ^-^ dispose, 
OwO Unwess :3 a thousand >w< mawks be :33 wevied, 
;;w;; To ^.^ quit x3 the penalty ÚwÚ and to wansom ^.^ him. 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ substance, vawued uWu at x3 the ÚwÚ highest rate, 
UwU Cannyot amount >w< unto :3 a :3 hundwed mawks; 
Therefore ^.^ by law xDD thou awt condemn'd to die. 
>w< AEGEON. ÚwÚ Yet ÚwÚ this x3 my UwU comfowt: when x3 youw wowds OwO awe :33 donye, 
OwO My :3 woes >w< end >_< wikewise with x3 the x3 evenying OwO sun. 
x3 DUKE. xDD Weww, Syracusian, >_> say uWu in bwief x3 the cause 
Why xDD thou ^w^ depawted'st from >w< thy OwO nyative ^.^ home, 
xDD And fow >_> what cause xDD thou xDD cam'st to >_< Ephesus. 
>w< AEGEON. ^-^ A heaview :3 task couwd nyot uWu have :33 been >w< impos'd 
Than UwU I to speak x3 my griefs unspeakable; 
Yet, :3 that x3 the wowwd OwO may >_> witnyess :3 that x3 my >w< end 
Was ;;w;; wwought ^.^ by nyatuwe, nyot ^.^ by ^-^ viwe ^-^ offence, 
I'll :33 uttew >_> what x3 my sorrow ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me >_< weave. 
^w^ In :33 Sywacuse UwU was UwU I born, ÚwÚ and x3 wed 
uWu Unto :3 a ^w^ woman, ^w^ happy >_> but fow uWu me, 
xDD And ^.^ by uWu me, xDD had nyot UwU ouw ÚwÚ hap :33 been bad. 
With her UwU I liv'd uWu in :33 joy; UwU ouw weawth UwU incweas'd 
^-^ By :33 pwospewous ^w^ voyages UwU I often UwU made 
;;w;; To :3 Epidamnyum; >w< tiww x3 my factow's UwU death, 
xDD And x3 the great :3 cawe of >_> goods uWu at ÚwÚ wandom uWu weft, 
^.^ Dwew ;;w;; me from uWu kind :33 embwacements of x3 my ÚwÚ spouse: 
Fwom ÚwÚ whom x3 my >w< absence UwU was nyot six ^w^ months :3 owd, 
^.^ Befowe herself, almost uWu at xDD fainting :33 undew 
uWu The pweasing UwU punyishment :3 that x3 women >_> beaw, 
xDD Had UwU made x3 pwovision fow her fowwowing uWu me, 
xDD And >w< soon ÚwÚ and >_< safe arrived :3 whewe UwU I uWu was. 
>_> Thewe xDD had ^.^ she nyot :33 been ^-^ wong >_> but ^.^ she ÚwÚ became 
^-^ A >w< joyfuw mothew of >w< two xDD goodwy sons; 
^.^ And, which UwU was >_> stwange, x3 the one UwU so ^.^ wike x3 the othew 
;;w;; As couwd nyot be disdnguish'd >_> but ^.^ by ^w^ nyames. 
:33 That xDD vewy ^-^ houw, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the sewf-same inn, 
^-^ A >_> mean OwO woman UwU was ^-^ dewivewed 
Of xDD such :3 a buwden, male twins, both alike. 
xDD Those, fow uWu theiw parents :3 wewe :33 exceeding OwO poow, 
UwU I ^.^ bought, ÚwÚ and ^.^ bwought x3 up to >_< attend x3 my >w< sons. 
OwO My :3 wife, nyot meanly OwO pwoud of >w< two xDD such boys, 
Made x3 daiwy >w< motions fow UwU ouw ^.^ home OwO wetuwn; 
Unwiwwing, UwU I UwU agweed. ^-^ Awas! ^w^ too >w< soon 
We ^-^ came UwU aboawd. 
^-^ A :33 weague from OwO Epidamnyum xDD had ^.^ we saiw'd 
^.^ Befowe x3 the x3 awways-wind-obeying >_> deep 
Gave xDD any tragic uWu instance of UwU ouw UwU hawm: 
OwO But longer uWu did ^.^ we nyot ^.^ wetain much hope, 
For >_> what obscured >w< wight x3 the heavens uWu did gwant 
Did >_> but :33 convey >w< unto UwU ouw x3 feawfuw minds 
^-^ A ^.^ doubtfuw :33 wawwant of x3 immediate ÚwÚ death; 
>_< Which ^w^ though mysewf ^.^ wouwd gwadwy uWu have embrac'd, 
ÚwÚ Yet x3 the ^w^ incessant UwU weepings of x3 my :3 wife, 
Weeping >w< befowe fow >_> what ^.^ she saw ^w^ must come, 
xDD And ^.^ piteous >w< pwainyings of x3 the OwO pwetty uWu babes, 
:33 That mouwn'd fow fashion, ÚwÚ ignyowant >_> what to ;;w;; feaw, 
Forc'd ;;w;; me to >_> seek delays fow them ÚwÚ and x3 me. 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >w< it UwU was, fow othew means UwU was ^-^ nyonye: 
uWu The saiwows >_< sought fow :33 safety ^.^ by UwU ouw boat, 
xDD And left x3 the ship, xDD then ^-^ sinking-wipe, to us; 
OwO My :3 wife, ^.^ mowe careful fow x3 the >_> wattew-bown, 
xDD Had fast'ned ^.^ him >w< unto :3 a UwU smaww ^-^ spawe OwO mast, 
>w< Such >_< as ^.^ sea-fawing ;;w;; men provide fow x3 stowms; 
;;w;; To ^.^ him one of x3 the othew ^.^ twins UwU was xDD bound, 
Whilst UwU I xDD had :33 been ^.^ wike ^-^ heedfuw of x3 the :3 othew. 
uWu The x3 chiwdwen OwO thus uWu dispos'd, x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and I, 
>_< Fixing UwU ouw eyes on ÚwÚ whom UwU ouw :3 cawe UwU was OwO fix'd, 
:3 Fast'nyed ouwsewves uWu at xDD eithew >w< end x3 the OwO mast, 
^.^ And, ^.^ fwoating stwaight, obedient to x3 the stweam, 
Was cawwied uWu towawds ^w^ Cowinth, >_< as ^.^ we thought. 
At :33 wength x3 the sun, >_< gazing ;;w;; upon x3 the earth, 
x3 Dispews'd UwU those uWu vapouws :3 that uWu offended us; 
^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ benyefit of :33 his wished wight, 
uWu The seas wax'd calm, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we discovered 
Two ÚwÚ ships from uWu faw x3 making ^-^ amain to >w< us- 
Of ^.^ Cowinth :3 that, of Epidauwus UwU this. 
OwO But ere ;;w;; they came-O, wet ;;w;; me >_> say nyo uWu mowe! 
Gather x3 the >w< sequew ^.^ by :3 that OwO went befowe. 
x3 DUKE. Nyay, forward, ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, UwU do nyot bweak x3 off so; 
For ^.^ we OwO may pity, ^w^ though nyot UwU pawdon thee. 
>w< AEGEON. >_< O, xDD had x3 the gods donye >_> so, UwU I xDD had nyot nyow 
^w^ Wowthiwy tewm'd them merciless to ÚwÚ us! 
For, ere x3 the ÚwÚ ships couwd :3 meet ^.^ by twice five weagues, 
We :3 wewe encount'wed ^.^ by :3 a ^-^ mighty :33 wock, 
>_< Which ^.^ being >_< viowentwy :3 bownye upon, 
Our helpful ship UwU was xDD spwitted uWu in x3 the midst; 
^w^ So :3 that, uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 unjust :3 divowce of us, 
:33 Fowtunye xDD had left to both of >_> us :33 awike 
>_> What to delight x3 in, >_> what to sorrow ;;w;; fow. 
:3 Hew >_> pawt, poor x3 souw, ÚwÚ seeming >_< as ^w^ buwdenyed 
With wessew ÚwÚ weight, >_> but nyot with wessew woe, 
Was cawwied with ^.^ mowe ^w^ speed >w< befowe x3 the :33 wind; 
xDD And uWu in UwU ouw ^.^ sight ;;w;; they >w< thwee :3 wewe :33 taken x3 up 
^-^ By fishewmen of ^w^ Cowinth, >_< as ^.^ we thought. 
At :33 wength anyothew ship xDD had :3 seiz'd on us; 
^.^ And, x3 knyowing ÚwÚ whom >w< it UwU was uWu theiw ÚwÚ hap to :3 save, 
Gave OwO heawthfuw wewcome to uWu theiw >w< ship-wweck'd :3 guests, 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd uWu have weft x3 the :33 fishews of uWu theiw ^.^ pwey, 
xDD Had nyot uWu theiw >_< bawk :33 been xDD vewy slow of sail; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe uWu homewawd uWu did ;;w;; they >w< bend uWu theiw course. 
^-^ Thus uWu have xDD you heard ;;w;; me sever'd from x3 my bliss, 
:33 That ^.^ by misfowtunyes UwU was x3 my >w< wife prolong'd, 
;;w;; To tell >_> sad :3 stowies of x3 my UwU own OwO mishaps. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ And, fow x3 the ÚwÚ sake of them xDD thou ^-^ sowwowest for, 
Do ;;w;; me x3 the ^.^ favouw to >_< diwate uWu at full 
>_> What uWu have befall'n of them ÚwÚ and uWu thee >w< tiww now. 
>w< AEGEON. OwO My xDD youngest ^-^ boy, ÚwÚ and yet x3 my eldest care, 
At eighteen years ÚwÚ became inquisitive 
>w< Aftew :33 his brother, ÚwÚ and xDD impowtun'd ;;w;; me 
:33 That :33 his :33 attendant-so :33 his case UwU was :3 wike, 
ÚwÚ Weft of :33 his brother, >_> but wetain'd :33 his nyame- 
^.^ Might UwU beaw ^.^ him >_< company uWu in x3 the ^w^ quest of him; 
;;w;; Whom whiwst UwU I ÚwÚ wabouwed of :3 a wuv to see, 
UwU I hazawded x3 the ^-^ woss of ÚwÚ whom UwU I >_> wov'd. 
:3 Five summers uWu have UwU I xDD spent uWu in ^-^ fawthest xDD Gweece, 
Woaming x3 cwean ^w^ thwough x3 the bounds of :3 Asia, 
^.^ And, >_> coasting homeward, ^-^ came to ÚwÚ Ephesus; 
Hopewess to ^w^ find, yet loath to OwO weave :33 unsought 
:33 Ow :3 that ow xDD any :33 pwace :3 that ;;w;; hawbouws ^.^ men. 
OwO But OwO hewe ^w^ must >w< end x3 the ^-^ stowy of x3 my :33 wife; 
xDD And ^w^ happy :3 wewe UwU I uWu in x3 my timely UwU death, 
Could aww x3 my ^w^ twavews :33 wawwant ;;w;; me ;;w;; they wive. 
x3 DUKE. Hapwess, UwU Aegeon, ÚwÚ whom x3 the ;;w;; fates uWu have uWu mawk'd 
;;w;; To UwU beaw x3 the extremity of xDD diwe mishap! 
>_> Nyow, :33 twust uWu me, :3 wewe >w< it nyot OwO against UwU ouw ^-^ waws, 
^w^ Against x3 my :3 cwown, x3 my ;;w;; oath, x3 my UwU dignyity, 
>_< Which >_< pwinces, ^.^ wouwd >w< they, OwO may nyot disannul, 
OwO My :3 souw >_> shouwd sue >_< as advocate fow thee. 
OwO But ^w^ though xDD thou awt uWu adjudged to x3 the UwU death, 
xDD And x3 passed :33 sentence OwO may nyot be ÚwÚ wecaww'd 
OwO But to UwU ouw x3 honyouw's great dispawagement, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD wiww UwU I ^.^ favouw uWu thee uWu in >_> what UwU I ;;w;; can. 
>_< Thewefowe, OwO mewchant, I'll wimit uWu thee ÚwÚ this day 
;;w;; To >_> seek >w< thy OwO hewp ^.^ by beneficial ^-^ hap. 
Twy aww x3 the ^w^ fwiends xDD thou x3 hast uWu in ÚwÚ Ephesus; 
>w< Beg UwU thou, ow UwU bowwow, to >_< make x3 up x3 the sum, 
xDD And ÚwÚ wive; >_> if no, xDD then xDD thou awt OwO doom'd to die. 
Gaoler, OwO take ^.^ him to >w< thy OwO custody. 
GAOLER. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>w< AEGEON. Hopewess ÚwÚ and helpless xDD doth Aegeon UwU wend, 
OwO But to pwocwastinyate :33 his wifewess OwO end. 
<Exeunt 


>w< SCENyE 2 

uWu The mart 

Entew :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >_< SYWACUSE, DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >_< SYWACUSE, ÚwÚ and uWu FIWST >w< MEWCHANT 

uWu FIWST ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. >_< Thewefowe, UwU give x3 out xDD you OwO awe of xDD Epidamnyum, 
Lest :3 that x3 youw >_> goods ^w^ too >w< soon be >_> confiscate. 
This xDD vewy day :3 a Syracusian merchant 
Is apprehended fow >_< awwivaw ^.^ hewe; 
^.^ And, nyot ^.^ being able to UwU buy x3 out :33 his :3 wife, 
x3 Accowding to x3 the statute of x3 the xDD town, 
^-^ Dies ere x3 the ÚwÚ weawy sun uWu set uWu in x3 the west. 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 youw monyey :3 that UwU I xDD had to keep. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Go UwU beaw >w< it to x3 the Centaur, :3 whewe ^.^ we >_< host. 
xDD And xDD stay thewe, ^w^ Dwomio, >w< tiww UwU I come to thee. 
OwO Within ÚwÚ this >_> houw >w< it xDD wiww be dinnyew-time; 
Tiww :3 that, I'll x3 view x3 the ^w^ mannyews of x3 the xDD town, 
Peruse x3 the :33 twadews, ÚwÚ gaze ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 buiwdings, 
xDD And xDD then ^-^ wetuwn ÚwÚ and :33 sweep within >_< minye uWu inn; 
For with ^-^ wong travel UwU I ^w^ am OwO stiff ÚwÚ and weawy. 
>_< Get uWu thee xDD away. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. xDD Many :3 a x3 man ^.^ wouwd OwO take xDD you uWu at x3 youw word, 
xDD And OwO go :33 indeed, xDD having UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a x3 mean. 
;;w;; <Exit 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ A trusty villain, ^w^ siw, :3 that xDD vewy :3 oft, 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ am dull with :3 cawe ÚwÚ and UwU mewanchowy, 
^w^ Wightens x3 my humouw with :33 his ^.^ mewwy >_> jests. 
What, xDD wiww xDD you UwU wawk with ;;w;; me about x3 the xDD town, 
xDD And xDD then OwO go to x3 my inn ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dinye with me? 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. UwU I ^w^ am x3 invited, ^w^ siw, to xDD cewtain mewchants, 
Of ÚwÚ whom UwU I UwU hope to >_< make much >_> benyefit; 
UwU I ^w^ cwave x3 youw pardon. ÚwÚ Soon uWu at five o'clock, 
ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, I'll :3 meet with xDD you ;;w;; upon x3 the >w< mawt, 
xDD And >w< aftewwawd consort xDD you >w< tiww x3 bed uWu time. 
OwO My xDD pwesent business ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; me from xDD you now. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU Faweweww >w< tiww UwU then. UwU I xDD wiww OwO go wose myself, 
xDD And >w< wandew x3 up ÚwÚ and down to x3 view x3 the >_> city. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. UwU Siw, UwU I ÚwÚ commend xDD you to x3 youw UwU own OwO content. 
;;w;; <Exit uWu FIWST >w< MEWCHANT 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >w< He :3 that uWu commends ;;w;; me to >_< minye UwU own :3 content 
^-^ Commends ;;w;; me to x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ get. 
UwU I to x3 the wowwd ^w^ am ^.^ wike :3 a >_< dwop of UwU watew 
:33 That uWu in x3 the xDD ocean >_> seeks anyothew drop, 
UwU Who, falling there to find :33 his fewwow ^-^ fowth, 
Unseen, ;;w;; inquisitive, ;;w;; confounds himself. 
^w^ So I, to find :3 a mothew ÚwÚ and :3 a brother, 
^w^ In ^w^ quest of ÚwÚ them, >_< unhappy, wose :3 mysewf. 

Entew DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS 

:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the awmanyac of x3 my true >_> date. 
>_> What ^.^ nyow? How chance xDD thou awt wetuwn'd UwU so soon? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_< Wetuwn'd UwU so xDD soon! rather ^w^ appwoach'd ^w^ too UwU wate. 
uWu The ^.^ capon buwns, x3 the :3 pig ^w^ fawws from x3 the x3 spit; 
uWu The >w< cwock hath stwucken >_< twewve ;;w;; upon x3 the bell- 
OwO My mistwess UwU made >w< it one ;;w;; upon x3 my OwO cheek; 
:33 She >_> is UwU so :3 hot uWu because x3 the :3 meat >_> is >_< cowd, 
uWu The :3 meat >_> is UwU cowd uWu because xDD you come nyot ^.^ home, 
>_> You come nyot ^.^ home uWu because xDD you uWu have nyo ^w^ stomach, 
>_> You uWu have nyo ^w^ stomach, xDD having broke x3 youw x3 fast; 
OwO But :33 we, :3 that ^.^ knyow >_> what UwU 'tis to ÚwÚ fast ÚwÚ and pray, 
^w^ Awe penitent fow x3 youw :33 defauwt ^w^ to-day. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu Stop uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; wind, siw; tell ;;w;; me uWu this, UwU I >_> pway: 
Whewe uWu have xDD you left x3 the monyey :3 that UwU I uWu gave you? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. :3 O-Sixpence :3 that UwU I xDD had :3 a >w< Wednyesday >w< wast 
;;w;; To x3 pay x3 the saddler fow x3 my >_< mistwess' ÚwÚ cwuppew? 
uWu The saddler xDD had :33 it, siw; UwU I :33 kept >w< it not. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I ^w^ am nyot uWu in :3 a >w< spowtive humouw >_< nyow; 
Teww uWu me, ÚwÚ and dawwy >_> nyot, :3 whewe >_> is x3 the monyey? 
We ^.^ being stwangews UwU hewe, >w< how ^w^ daw'st xDD thou :33 twust 
^w^ So great :3 a :3 chawge from ^.^ thinye UwU own custody? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I pray xDD you ^.^ jest, ^w^ siw, >_< as xDD you sit uWu at uWu dinnyew. 
UwU I from x3 my mistwess come to xDD you uWu in >_< post; 
;;w;; If UwU I wetuwn, UwU I UwU shaww be x3 post :33 indeed, 
For ^.^ she xDD wiww ÚwÚ scowe x3 youw ;;w;; fauwt ;;w;; upon x3 my pate. 
Methinks x3 youw xDD maw, ^.^ wike >_> minye, >_> shouwd be x3 youw clock, 
xDD And strike xDD you ^.^ home ^-^ without :3 a :3 messengew. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^.^ Come, ^w^ Dwomio, come, these jests OwO awe x3 out of :3 season; 
^.^ Wesewve them >w< tiww :3 a mewwiew >_> houw than UwU this. 
Whewe >_> is x3 the gowd UwU I uWu gave uWu in :3 chawge to thee? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ;;w;; To uWu me, UwU siw? Why, xDD you uWu gave nyo gowd to x3 me. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Come ;;w;; on, ^w^ siw ^-^ knyave, uWu have donye x3 youw foolishness, 
xDD And tell ;;w;; me >w< how xDD thou x3 hast uWu dispos'd >w< thy chawge. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. OwO My :3 chawge UwU was >_> but to :3 fetch xDD you from x3 the mart 
x3 Home to x3 youw house, x3 the ÚwÚ Phoenyix, ^w^ siw, to uWu dinnyew. 
OwO My mistwess ÚwÚ and her :3 sistew uWu stays fow OwO you. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> Nyow, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a Christian, answew ;;w;; me 
^w^ In >_> what >_< safe :33 pwace xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ bestow'd x3 my monyey, 
:33 Ow UwU I UwU shaww bweak :3 that ^.^ mewwy ÚwÚ sconce of >_< youws, 
:33 That >w< stands on tricks when UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ undispos'd. 
Whewe >_> is x3 the thousand >w< mawks xDD thou >w< hadst of me? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I uWu have x3 some >w< mawks of >_> youws ;;w;; upon x3 my ^-^ pate, 
;;w;; Some of x3 my >_< mistwess' >w< mawks ;;w;; upon x3 my shoulders, 
OwO But nyot :3 a thousand >w< mawks ^-^ between xDD you xDD both. 
;;w;; If UwU I >_> shouwd x3 pay x3 youw :33 wowship UwU those OwO again, 
Pewchance xDD you xDD wiww nyot UwU beaw them :33 patientwy. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. x3 Thy >_< mistwess' ^w^ mawks! >_> What ^-^ mistwess, :33 swave, x3 hast thou? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. uWu Youw ^w^ wowship's :3 wife, x3 my mistwess uWu at x3 the Phoenix; 
:33 She :3 that xDD doth ÚwÚ fast >w< tiww xDD you come ^.^ home to xDD dinnyew, 
xDD And prays :3 that xDD you xDD wiww hie xDD you ^.^ home to uWu dinnyew. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. What, wiwt xDD thou fwout ;;w;; me OwO thus >w< unto x3 my >w< face, 
uWu Being fowbid? There, OwO take xDD you :3 that, ^w^ siw knave. 
:33 [Beats >w< him] 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> What >_> mean UwU you, UwU siw? For >_> God's ÚwÚ sake howd x3 youw ^w^ hands! 
Nyay, >w< an xDD you xDD wiww >_> nyot, ^w^ siw, I'll OwO take x3 my xDD heews. 
;;w;; <Exit 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> Upon x3 my :3 wife, ^.^ by x3 some xDD device ow othew 
uWu The viwwain >_> is xDD o'ewwaught of aww x3 my money. 
^-^ They >_> say ÚwÚ this :33 town >_> is full of OwO cozenyage; 
As, >_< nyimbwe xDD juggwews :3 that >w< deceive x3 the >_< eye, 
Dark-working sorcerers :3 that change x3 the UwU mind, 
Soul-killing :3 witches :3 that ^-^ defowm x3 the ;;w;; body, 
ÚwÚ Disguised cheatews, ;;w;; pwating UwU mountebanks, 
xDD And UwU many >_< such-wike ;;w;; wibewties of sin; 
;;w;; If >w< it ^-^ pwuv >_> so, UwU I xDD wiww be >_> gonye x3 the soonyew. 
I'll to x3 the xDD Centauw to OwO go >_> seek ÚwÚ this slave. 
UwU I OwO gweatwy feaw x3 my monyey >_> is nyot ^w^ safe. 
;;w;; <Exit 


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^.^ ACT Iw. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

uWu The ;;w;; house of :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS 

Entew x3 ADWIANyA, >w< wife to :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF :3 EPHESUS, with x3 WUCIANyA, her :3 sistew 

ADWIANyA. >_> Nyeithew x3 my :33 husband nor x3 the ;;w;; swave wetuwn'd 
:33 That uWu in xDD such ^.^ haste UwU I sent to >_> seek :33 his x3 mastew! 
Sure, x3 Wucianya, >w< it >_> is >w< two OwO o'cwock. 
:33 WUCIANyA. :3 Pewhaps x3 some merchant hath >w< invited :3 him, 
xDD And from x3 the mart uWu he's somewhewe >_> gonye to uWu dinnyew; 
^-^ Good ^-^ sistew, wet >_> us UwU dinye, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew fwet. 
^-^ A x3 man >_> is >_< mastew of :33 his xDD wibewty; 
^-^ Time >_> is uWu theiw ^.^ mastew, ÚwÚ and when ;;w;; they >_> see time, 
x3 They'ww OwO go ow x3 come. ;;w;; If >_> so, be *giggles shyly* patient, sister. 
ADWIANyA. Why >_> shouwd uWu theiw ^w^ wibewty than ouws be UwU mowe? 
:33 WUCIANyA. >_< Because uWu theiw business still wies x3 out ^.^ o' UwU doow. 
ADWIANyA. Wook when UwU I serve ^.^ him >_> so, ^.^ he UwU takes >w< it ill. 
:33 WUCIANyA. >_< O, ^.^ knyow ^.^ he >_> is x3 the >_> bwidwe of x3 youw :33 wiww. 
ADWIANyA. >_> Thewe's >_< nyonye >_> but asses xDD wiww be UwU bwidwed :3 so. 
:33 WUCIANyA. Why, headstrong ^w^ wibewty >_> is lash'd with woe. 
>_> Thewe's >_< nyothing situate :33 undew heaven's ^w^ eye 
OwO But hath :33 his xDD bound, uWu in earth, uWu in :33 sea, uWu in x3 sky. 
uWu The xDD beasts, x3 the ^w^ fishes, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> winged >w< fowws, 
^w^ Awe uWu theiw ;;w;; mawes' xDD subjects, ÚwÚ and uWu at uWu theiw controls. 
>_< Man, ^.^ mowe divine, x3 the >_< mastew of aww OwO these, 
Lord of x3 the uWu wide wowwd ÚwÚ and >w< wiwd ^.^ wat'wy seas, 
>_> Indu'd with intewwectuaw sense ÚwÚ and souws, 
Of ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ pwe-eminyence than :33 fish ÚwÚ and >w< fowws, 
^w^ Awe >w< mastews to uWu theiw xDD femawes, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw :3 wowds; 
UwU Then wet x3 youw xDD wiww >_< attend on uWu theiw OwO accowds. 
ADWIANyA. This sewvitude x3 makes xDD you to >_< keep ^w^ unwed. 
:33 WUCIANyA. ÚwÚ Nyot uWu this, >_> but troubles of x3 the ÚwÚ mawwiage-bed. 
ADWIANyA. But, :3 wewe xDD you wedded, xDD you ^.^ wouwd UwU beaw x3 some sway. 
:33 WUCIANyA. Ere UwU I :3 weawn xDD wuv, I'll x3 pwactise to OwO obey. 
ADWIANyA. How >_> if x3 youw :33 husband start x3 some othew whewe? 
:33 WUCIANyA. Tiww ^.^ he come ^.^ home OwO again, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ fowbeaw. 
ADWIANyA. ;;w;; Patience unmov'd! nyo :3 mawvew ^w^ though ^.^ she >_> pause: 
^-^ They ^.^ can be >_> meek :3 that uWu have nyo othew OwO cause. 
^-^ A wwetched x3 souw, uWu bwuis'd with advewsity, 
We bid be :33 quiet when ^.^ we hear >w< it cry; 
OwO But :3 wewe ^.^ we burd'ned with ^.^ wike >_> weight of UwU pain, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ much, ow >_> mowe, ^.^ we >_> shouwd ouwsewves OwO compwain. 
^w^ So UwU thou, :3 that x3 hast nyo :3 unkind ^-^ mate to UwU gwieve ÚwÚ thee, 
With ÚwÚ uwging helpless uWu patience ^.^ wouwd xDD wewieve OwO me; 
OwO But >_> if xDD thou ^w^ wive to >_> see ^.^ wike >w< wight ^w^ beweft, 
This fool-begg'd uWu patience uWu in uWu thee xDD wiww be left. 
:33 WUCIANyA. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww marry one ^-^ day, >_> but to >_> twy. 
:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 youw ^w^ man, nyow >_> is x3 youw :33 husband nyigh. 

Entew DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS 

ADWIANyA. Say, >_> is x3 youw ÚwÚ tawdy >_< mastew nyow uWu at hand? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Nyay, uWu he's uWu at >w< two ^.^ hands with uWu me, ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 my >w< two 
OwO eaws ^.^ can witness. 
ADWIANyA. Say, :33 didst xDD thou speak with him? Knyow'st xDD thou :33 his :3 mind? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Ay, :33 ay, ^.^ he told :33 his ^-^ mind ;;w;; upon >_< minye :3 eaw. 
Beshrew :33 his uWu hand, UwU I scawce couwd understand :3 it. 
:33 WUCIANyA. ^w^ Spake ^.^ he UwU so doubtfully xDD thou couwd'st nyot x3 feew :33 his ^w^ meanying? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Nyay, ^.^ he >w< stwuck UwU so x3 pwainwy UwU I couwd to 
weww x3 feew :33 his blows; ÚwÚ and withal UwU so doubtfully :3 that UwU I couwd 
scawce understand OwO them. 
ADWIANyA. OwO But say, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, >_> is ^.^ he xDD coming ^w^ home? 
^.^ It ;;w;; seems ^.^ he hath great :3 cawe to uWu pwease :33 his x3 wife. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Why, ^-^ mistwess, >_< suwe x3 my >_< mastew >_> is ^-^ hown-mad. 
ADWIANyA. Horn-mad, xDD thou :33 viwwain! 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I >_> mean nyot >_< cuckowd-mad; 
But, x3 suwe, ^.^ he >_> is x3 stawk >_> mad. 
x3 When UwU I desir'd ^.^ him to come ^.^ home to xDD dinnyew, 
>w< He >w< ask'd ;;w;; me fow :3 a thousand >w< mawks uWu in ;;w;; gowd. 
^w^ "Tis dinner >_> time' quoth x3 I; >w< 'My >_< gowd!' quoth he. 
uWu 'Youw :3 meat xDD doth buwn' quoth x3 I; >w< 'My >_< gowd!' quoth he. 
UwU 'Wiww xDD you come ;;w;; home?' quoth x3 I; >w< 'My >_< gowd!' quoth he. 
'Whewe >_> is x3 the thousand >w< mawks UwU I uWu gave ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ viwwain?' 
'The pig' quoth UwU I ^-^ 'is burn'd'; >w< 'My >_< gowd!' quoth he. 
>w< 'My ^-^ mistwess, :33 siw,' quoth x3 I; >_> 'Hang x3 up >w< thy mistress; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< thy mistress; x3 out on >w< thy UwU mistwess.' 
:33 WUCIANyA. Quoth >_> who? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Quoth x3 my master. 
ÚwÚ 'I >w< knyow' quoth ^.^ he 'no house, nyo :3 wife, nyo UwU mistwess.' 
^w^ So :3 that x3 my uWu ewwand, >_< due >w< unto x3 my ;;w;; tongue, 
UwU I >_> thank :3 him, UwU I OwO bawe ^.^ home ;;w;; upon x3 my >_< shouwdews; 
For, uWu in conclusion, ^.^ he uWu did xDD beat ;;w;; me :33 thewe. 
ADWIANyA. Go back OwO again, xDD thou :33 swave, ÚwÚ and :3 fetch ^.^ him >_> home. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Go back OwO again, ÚwÚ and be x3 nyew beaten ^w^ home? 
For >_> God's ^w^ sake, >_> send x3 some othew :3 messengew. 
ADWIANyA. ^w^ Back, :33 swave, ow UwU I xDD wiww bweak >w< thy OwO pate >_> acwoss. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. xDD And ^.^ he xDD wiww ;;w;; bwess :3 that OwO cwoss with othew xDD beating; 
Between xDD you UwU I UwU shaww uWu have :3 a >w< howy >_> head. 
ADWIANyA. Hence, ;;w;; pwating ^w^ peasant! ^-^ Fetch >w< thy >_< mastew >_> home. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^w^ Am UwU I UwU so ;;w;; wound with UwU you, >_< as xDD you with uWu me, 
:33 That ^.^ wike :3 a uWu footbaww xDD you UwU do :33 spuwn ;;w;; me >_< thus? 
>_> You :33 spuwn ;;w;; me hence, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he xDD wiww :33 spuwn ;;w;; me hithew; 
;;w;; If UwU I >w< wast uWu in ÚwÚ this sewvice, xDD you ^w^ must case ;;w;; me uWu in weathew. 
;;w;; <Exit 
:33 WUCIANyA. OwO Fie, >w< how >_> impatience wouweth uWu in x3 youw :3 face! 
ADWIANyA. ÚwÚ His >_< company ^w^ must UwU do :33 his minions gwace, 
Whilst UwU I uWu at ^.^ home starve fow :3 a ^.^ mewwy wook. 
>_< Hath homewy age x3 th' OwO awwuwing beauty >_> took 
Fwom x3 my poor uWu cheek? UwU Then ^.^ he hath wasted :3 it. 
^w^ Awe x3 my discourses UwU duww? >_> Bawwen x3 my ^-^ wit? 
;;w;; If vowubwe ÚwÚ and ^-^ shawp uWu discouwse be x3 maww'd, 
Unkindness blunts >w< it ^.^ mowe than OwO mawbwe hard. 
Do uWu theiw x3 gay ;;w;; vestments :33 his affections ;;w;; bait? 
>w< That's nyot x3 my fauwt; uWu he's >_< mastew of x3 my state. 
>_> What ruins OwO awe uWu in ;;w;; me :3 that ^.^ can be >_> found 
^-^ By ^.^ him nyot ^w^ wuin'd? UwU Then >_> is ^.^ he x3 the x3 gwound 
Of x3 my defeatures. OwO My ÚwÚ decayed >w< faiw 
^-^ A sunny wook of :33 his ^.^ wouwd >w< soon OwO wepaiw. 
But, ^w^ too ^-^ unwuwy deew, ^.^ he >_< bweaks x3 the pawe, 
xDD And xDD feeds from ÚwÚ home; poor UwU I ^w^ am >_> but :33 his ÚwÚ stawe. 
:33 WUCIANyA. ^w^ Sewf-hawming jeawousy! >_< fie, xDD beat >w< it x3 hence. 
ADWIANyA. Unfeeling foows ^.^ can with xDD such >_< wwongs ^.^ dispense. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his ^w^ eye xDD doth UwU homage >_> othewwhewe; 
:33 Ow >_> ewse >_> what wets >w< it >_> but ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd be hewe? 
x3 Sistew, xDD you ^.^ knyow ^.^ he pwomis'd ;;w;; me :3 a chain; 
Wouwd :3 that awonye :3 a wuv ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd detain, 
^w^ So ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< keep >w< faiw quarter with :33 his bed! 
UwU I >_> see x3 the jewel best enamelled 
Will wose :33 his ^w^ beauty; yet x3 the gowd ^.^ bides still 
:33 That ;;w;; othews :33 touch x3 and, often ^w^ touching, xDD wiww 
Whewe x3 gowd; ÚwÚ and nyo x3 man :3 that hath :3 a xDD nyame 
^-^ By UwU fawsehood ÚwÚ and ^.^ cowwuption xDD doth >w< it ;;w;; shame. 
Since :3 that x3 my beauty ;;w;; cannyot uWu pwease :33 his >_< eye, 
I'll xDD weep UwU what's left away, ÚwÚ and weeping die. 
:33 WUCIANyA. How UwU many fond foows serve ^-^ mad jeawousy! 
<Exeunt 


>w< SCENyE 2 

uWu The mart 

Entew :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE 

:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu The gowd UwU I uWu gave to Dromio >_> is laid x3 up 
^.^ Safe uWu at x3 the Centaur, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ heedfuw ;;w;; swave 
Is ^-^ wand'wed fowth uWu in :3 cawe to >_> seek ;;w;; me OwO out. 
^-^ By ^.^ computation ÚwÚ and >_< minye x3 host's wepowt 
UwU I couwd nyot speak with Dromio xDD since uWu at xDD fiwst 
UwU I sent ^.^ him from x3 the mawt. :3 See, OwO hewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 

Entew DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE 

How now, ^w^ siw, >_> is x3 youw ^.^ mewwy humouw :3 awtew'd? 
;;w;; As xDD you wuv ;;w;; stwokes, UwU so xDD jest with ;;w;; me ;;w;; again. 
>_> You ^.^ knyow nyo Centaur! >_> You weceiv'd nyo gowd! 
uWu Youw mistwess sent to uWu have ;;w;; me ^.^ home to :3 dinnyew! 
OwO My ;;w;; house UwU was uWu at x3 the x3 Phoenyix! UwU Wast xDD thou mad, 
:33 That OwO thus UwU so madly xDD thou :33 didst answew me? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> What ÚwÚ answew, UwU siw? x3 When x3 spake UwU I xDD such :3 a word? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Even now, even UwU hewe, nyot half >w< an >_> houw since. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I uWu did nyot >_> see xDD you xDD since xDD you sent ;;w;; me hence, 
x3 Home to x3 the Centaur, with x3 the gowd xDD you uWu gave x3 me. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu Viwwain, xDD thou :33 didst UwU deny x3 the ;;w;; gowd's :3 weceipt, 
xDD And >w< towd'st ;;w;; me of :3 a mistwess ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu dinnyew; 
For ^w^ which, UwU I hope, xDD thou >_> fewt'st UwU I UwU was displeas'd. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ mewwy vein. 
>_> What means ÚwÚ this UwU jest? UwU I pray UwU you, ^.^ mastew, tell x3 me. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Yea, dost xDD thou ^.^ jeew ÚwÚ and fwout ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the ;;w;; teeth? 
x3 Think'st xDD thou UwU I UwU jest? UwU Howd, OwO take xDD thou :3 that, ÚwÚ and x3 that. 
UwU [Beating >w< him] 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU Howd, ^w^ siw, fow >_> God's uWu sake! Now x3 youw xDD jest >_> is >w< eawnyest. 
>_> Upon >_> what ^w^ bawgain UwU do xDD you UwU give >w< it me? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_< Because :3 that UwU I >_> famiwiawwy x3 sometimes 
Do use xDD you fow x3 my >w< foow ÚwÚ and ^.^ chat with UwU you, 
uWu Youw saucinyess xDD wiww xDD jest ;;w;; upon x3 my xDD wuv, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a ^w^ common of x3 my sewious hours. 
x3 When x3 the sun uWu shinyes wet >_< foowish ^-^ gnyats >_< make sport, 
OwO But :3 cweep uWu in ;;w;; cwannyies when ^.^ he OwO hides :33 his beams. 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww xDD jest with uWu me, ^.^ knyow x3 my ÚwÚ aspect, 
xDD And fashion x3 youw :33 demeanyouw to x3 my looks, 
:33 Ow UwU I xDD wiww xDD beat ÚwÚ this method uWu in x3 youw OwO sconce. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >w< Sconce, caww xDD you :33 it? ^w^ So xDD you ^.^ wouwd 
OwO weave battering, UwU I xDD had rather uWu have >w< it :3 a >_> head. ^-^ An xDD you use 
these ^w^ bwows long, UwU I ^w^ must get :3 a ÚwÚ sconce fow x3 my head, ÚwÚ and 
insconce >w< it :3 too; ow >_> ewse UwU I UwU shaww >_> seek x3 my wit uWu in x3 my shoulders. 
OwO But UwU I pray, ^w^ siw, >w< why ^w^ am UwU I xDD beaten? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu Dost xDD thou nyot xDD knyow? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU Nyothing, ^w^ siw, >_> but :3 that UwU I ^w^ am xDD beaten. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Shall UwU I tell xDD you ^.^ why? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Ay, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ whewefowe; fow ;;w;; they >_> say 
every >w< why hath :3 a >w< whewefowe. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Why, xDD fiwst fow ^w^ fwouting OwO me; ÚwÚ and xDD then ÚwÚ whewefowe, 
For ÚwÚ uwging >w< it x3 the second time to x3 me. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Was there OwO evew xDD any x3 man OwO thus beaten x3 out of >w< season, 
x3 When uWu in x3 the >w< why ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ whewefowe >_> is :3 nyeithew ^-^ whyme nor uWu weason? 
xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, UwU I >_> thank OwO you. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ Thank uWu me, sir! fow UwU what? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, fow ÚwÚ this ^-^ something :3 that xDD you uWu gave 
;;w;; me fow OwO nyothing. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. I'll >_< make xDD you x3 amends next, to 
UwU give xDD you >_< nyothing fow OwO something. OwO But say, ^w^ siw, >_> is >w< it dinnyewtime? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Nyo, siw; UwU I think x3 the :3 meat wants :3 that UwU I :3 have. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^w^ In ÚwÚ good time, ^w^ siw, UwU what's ^-^ that? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu Basting. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, xDD then 'twill be >_< dwy. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ;;w;; If >w< it be, ^w^ siw, UwU I pray xDD you eat >_< nyonye of :3 it. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu Youw uWu weason? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Lest >w< it >_< make xDD you xDD chowewic, ÚwÚ and puwchase ;;w;; me 
anyothew xDD dwy uWu basting. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, :3 weawn to xDD jest uWu in ÚwÚ good time; 
there's :3 a time fow aww xDD things. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I x3 duwst uWu have >w< denyied :3 that, >w< befowe xDD you 
:3 wewe UwU so choleric. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ By >_> what rule, UwU siw? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, ^.^ by :3 a UwU wuwe >_< as uWu pwain >_< as x3 the 
uWu pwain ;;w;; bawd OwO pate of Fathew ^-^ Time himself. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Wet's hear :3 it. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> Thewe's nyo time fow :3 a x3 man to OwO wecuvw 
:33 his >_< haiw :3 that gwows ;;w;; bawd ^.^ by :33 nyatuwe. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ May ^.^ he nyot UwU do >w< it ^.^ by OwO finye ÚwÚ and wecuvwy? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Yes, to x3 pay :3 a OwO finye fow :3 a periwig, ÚwÚ and 
OwO wecuvw x3 the wost >_< haiw of anyothew man. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Why >_> is ^-^ Time xDD such :3 a niggard of 
hair, x3 being, >_< as >w< it ;;w;; is, UwU so :3 pwentifuw >w< an xDD excwement? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_< Because >w< it >_> is :3 a >_> bwessing :3 that ^.^ he OwO bestows 
on xDD beasts, ÚwÚ and >_> what ^.^ he hath >_> scanted ;;w;; men uWu in >_< haiw ^.^ he hath 
UwU given them uWu in >_< wit. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Why, >_> but there's UwU many :3 a x3 man 
hath ^.^ mowe >_< haiw than >_< wit. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a x3 man of UwU those >_> but ^.^ he hath x3 the 
wit to wose :33 his >w< haiw. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Why, xDD thou :33 didst OwO concwude haiwy 
;;w;; men uWu pwain dealers ^-^ without >_< wit. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu The plainer dealer, x3 the :33 soonyew ^.^ wost; 
yet ^.^ he uWu woseth >w< it uWu in :3 a uWu kind of jollity. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. For >_> what uWu weason? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. For ^.^ two; ÚwÚ and >_> sound ^-^ onyes UwU too. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Nyay, nyot >_> sound UwU I pray OwO you. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Sure onyes, UwU then. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Nyay, nyot x3 suwe, uWu in :3 a ^.^ thing falsing. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. xDD Cewtain onyes, UwU then. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Nyame OwO them. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu The one, to :3 save x3 the monyey :3 that ^.^ he OwO spends uWu in 
tiring; x3 the ÚwÚ othew, :3 that uWu at dinner ;;w;; they >_> shouwd nyot >_< dwop uWu in :33 his 
porridge. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> You ^.^ wouwd aww ÚwÚ this time uWu have ^.^ pwov'd there 
>_> is nyo time fow aww xDD things. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ and ^-^ did, siw; nyamewy, nyo time to OwO wecuvw 
>_< haiw wost ^.^ by :33 nyatuwe. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. OwO But x3 youw reason UwU was nyot :3 substantiaw, >w< why 
there >_> is nyo time to ^.^ wecuvw. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ Thus UwU I mend >w< it: ^-^ Time >_< himsewf >_> is bald, 
ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe to x3 the OwO wowwd's >w< end xDD wiww uWu have ;;w;; bawd fowwowews. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I UwU knyew >w< 't'wouwd be :3 a ;;w;; bawd ^.^ concwusion. But, 
OwO soft, who >_< wafts >_> us :33 yondew? 

Entew ADWIANyA ÚwÚ and UwU WUCIANyA 

ADWIANyA. Ay, :33 ay, Antipholus, wook ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ and fwown. 
;;w;; Some othew mistwess hath >w< thy x3 sweet ^.^ aspects; 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot Adriana, nor >w< thy x3 wife. 
uWu The time UwU was >_> once when xDD thou unurg'd wouldst vow 
:33 That >_< nyevew wowds :3 wewe uWu music to ^.^ thinye eaw, 
:33 That >_< nyevew :33 object pweasing uWu in ^.^ thinye >_< eye, 
:33 That >_< nyevew :33 touch weww wewcome to >w< thy uWu hand, 
:33 That >_< nyevew :3 meat ^-^ sweet-savouw'd uWu in >w< thy x3 taste, 
OwO Unwess UwU I spake, ow look'd, ow ^-^ touch'd, ow carv'd to thee. 
How x3 comes >w< it now, x3 my ^.^ husband, >_< O, >w< how x3 comes :33 it, 
:33 That xDD thou awt xDD then :33 estwanged from thyself? 
^.^ Thysewf UwU I caww :33 it, ^.^ being ;;w;; stwange to uWu me, 
^.^ That, >_> undividabwe, uWu incowpowate, 
^w^ Am xDD bettew than >w< thy uWu deaw :3 sewf's xDD bettew part. 
xDD Ah, UwU do nyot teaw OwO away >w< thysewf from OwO me; 
For knyow, x3 my xDD wuv, >_< as ^w^ easy uWu mayst xDD thou faww 
^-^ A >_< dwop of UwU watew uWu in x3 the breaking :3 guwf, 
xDD And OwO take unmingled thence :3 that >_< dwop again 
Without >w< addition ow diminyishing, 
;;w;; As OwO take from ;;w;; me ;;w;; thysewf, ÚwÚ and nyot ;;w;; me UwU too. 
How ÚwÚ deawwy ^.^ wouwd >w< it :33 touch uWu thee to x3 the quick, 
>_< Shouwd'st xDD thou >_> but hear UwU I :3 wewe uWu wicentious, 
xDD And :3 that ÚwÚ this ;;w;; body, consecrate to ÚwÚ thee, 
^-^ By ruffian lust >_> shouwd be contaminyate! 
Wouldst xDD thou nyot spit uWu at ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and :33 spuwn uWu at uWu me, 
xDD And >_< huww x3 the xDD nyame of :33 husband uWu in x3 my >w< face, 
xDD And teaw x3 the x3 stain'd uWu skin x3 off x3 my UwU hawwot-bwow, 
xDD And from x3 my UwU fawse uWu hand :3 cut x3 the :33 wedding-wing, 
xDD And bweak >w< it with :3 a ;;w;; deep-divowcing xDD vow? 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou x3 canst, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe >_> see xDD thou UwU do :3 it. 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< possess'd with >w< an ÚwÚ aduwtewate bwot; 
OwO My :3 bwood >_> is >w< mingwed with x3 the crime of ÚwÚ wust; 
For >_> if ^.^ we >w< two be one, ÚwÚ and xDD thou :33 pway :3 fawse, 
UwU I UwU do digest x3 the x3 poison of >w< thy OwO fwesh, 
uWu Being strumpeted ^.^ by >w< thy ;;w;; contagion. 
^w^ Keep xDD then >w< faiw :33 weague ÚwÚ and truce with >w< thy true bed; 
UwU I ^w^ wive dis-stain'd, xDD thou undishonyouwed. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ;;w;; Pwead xDD you to uWu me, >w< faiw ^-^ dame? UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you not: 
^w^ In ^w^ Ephesus UwU I ^w^ am >_> but >w< two >_> houws :3 owd, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; stwange >w< unto x3 youw :33 town >_< as to x3 youw talk, 
UwU Who, every ;;w;; wowd ^.^ by aww x3 my wit ^.^ being OwO scann'd, 
;;w;; Wants wit uWu in aww one ;;w;; wowd to :33 undewstand. 
:33 WUCIANyA. OwO Fie, brother, >w< how x3 the wowwd >_> is chang'd with you! 
x3 When :3 wewe xDD you UwU wont to use x3 my :3 sistew >_< thus? 
:33 She sent fow xDD you ^.^ by Dromio ^.^ home to uWu dinnyew. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ By Dromio? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ By me? 
ADWIANyA. ^-^ By ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this xDD thou :33 didst ^-^ wetuwn from uWu him- 
:33 That ^.^ he uWu did buffet ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his ^w^ bwows 
^.^ Denyied x3 my ;;w;; house fow his, ;;w;; me fow :33 his x3 wife. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Did xDD you converse, ^w^ siw, with ÚwÚ this gentwewoman? 
>_> What >_> is x3 the course ÚwÚ and dwift of x3 youw compact? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. I, Sir? UwU I >_< nyevew saw her >w< tiww ÚwÚ this uWu time. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu Viwwain, xDD thou ^w^ wiest; fow even her xDD vewy wowds 
;;w;; Didst xDD thou ÚwÚ dewivew to ;;w;; me on x3 the mawt. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I >_< nyevew x3 spake with her uWu in aww x3 my life. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. How ^.^ can ^.^ she thus, >w< then, caww >_> us ^.^ by UwU ouw names, 
OwO Unwess >w< it be ^.^ by UwU inspiwation? 
ADWIANyA. How :33 iww :3 agwees >w< it with x3 youw >_< gwavity 
;;w;; To OwO countewfeit OwO thus grossly with x3 youw :33 swave, 
ÚwÚ Abetting ^.^ him to thwawt ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my x3 mood! 
^w^ Be >w< it x3 my wrong xDD you OwO awe from ;;w;; me ^w^ exempt, 
OwO But wrong nyot :3 that wrong with :3 a ^.^ mowe ^w^ contempt. 
^.^ Come, UwU I xDD wiww :33 fasten on ÚwÚ this >_> sweeve of thine; 
^.^ Thou awt >w< an UwU ewm, x3 my ^.^ husband, UwU I :3 a vine, 
>_< Whose ÚwÚ weaknyess, mawwied to >w< thy stronger state, 
:3 Makes ;;w;; me with >w< thy ÚwÚ stwength to communicate. 
;;w;; If ^.^ aught possess uWu thee from uWu me, >w< it >_> is dross, 
Usuwping ÚwÚ ivy, ÚwÚ bwiew, ow idle >_< moss; 
Who all, fow ^.^ want of >_< pwunying, with intwusion 
Infect >w< thy >w< sap, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wive on >w< thy uWu confusion. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ;;w;; To ;;w;; me ^.^ she speaks; ^.^ she moves ;;w;; me fow her UwU theme. 
What, UwU was UwU I mawwied to her uWu in x3 my ;;w;; dweam? 
:33 Ow :33 sweep UwU I now, ÚwÚ and think UwU I hear aww :3 this? 
>_> What ewwow drives UwU ouw eyes ÚwÚ and OwO eaws amiss? 
Untiw UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this >_< suwe ^.^ uncewtainty, 
I'll entertain x3 the >_< offew'd ^-^ fawwacy. 
:33 WUCIANyA. ^w^ Dwomio, OwO go bid x3 the :3 sewvants ;;w;; spwead fow uWu dinnyew. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_< O, fow x3 my beads! UwU I OwO cwoss ;;w;; me fow :33 sinnyew. 
This >_> is x3 the ;;w;; faiwy xDD wand. x3 O x3 spite of ;;w;; spites! 
We tawk with >w< gobwins, owls, ÚwÚ and >_< spwites. 
;;w;; If ^.^ we UwU obey them >_> nyot, ÚwÚ this xDD wiww ensue: 
x3 They'ww uWu suck UwU ouw :33 bweath, ow pinch >_> us black ÚwÚ and >_< bwue. 
:33 WUCIANyA. Why xDD pwat'st xDD thou to ;;w;; thysewf, ÚwÚ and answew'st ^w^ nyot? 
^w^ Dwomio, xDD thou >_> dwonye, xDD thou :33 snyaiw, xDD thou swug, xDD thou :3 sot! 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I ^w^ am transformed, ^.^ mastew, ^w^ am nyot >_< I? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I think xDD thou awt uWu in UwU mind, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^w^ am ^.^ I. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Nyay, ^.^ mastew, both uWu in ^-^ mind ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 my UwU shape. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^.^ Thou x3 hast ^.^ thinye UwU own fowm. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Nyo, UwU I ^w^ am >w< an x3 ape. 
:33 WUCIANyA. ;;w;; If xDD thou awt chang'd to ^w^ aught, UwU 'tis to >w< an ass. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. 'Tis true; ^.^ she :33 wides uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^-^ wong fow grass. 
'Tis >_> so, UwU I ^w^ am >w< an x3 ass; >_> ewse >w< it couwd >_< nyevew be 
OwO But UwU I >_> shouwd ^.^ knyow her >_< as weww >_< as ^.^ she xDD knyows x3 me. 
ADWIANyA. ^.^ Come, come, nyo longer xDD wiww UwU I be :3 a x3 foow, 
;;w;; To put x3 the finger uWu in x3 the ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and >_> weep, 
Whilst x3 man ÚwÚ and >_< mastew ^-^ waughs x3 my :3 woes to xDD scown. 
^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, to uWu dinnyew. ^w^ Dwomio, >_< keep x3 the uWu gate. 
:3 Husband, I'll ÚwÚ dinye :33 abuv with xDD you uWu to-day, 
xDD And >_> shwive xDD you of :3 a thousand idle >_> pwanks. 
Siwwah, >_> if xDD any ^w^ ask xDD you fow x3 youw ^.^ mastew, 
x3 Say ^.^ he dinyes ^-^ fowth, ÚwÚ and wet nyo creature enter. 
^.^ Come, sister. ^w^ Dwomio, :33 pway x3 the powtew well. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^w^ Am UwU I uWu in earth, uWu in ^.^ heaven, ow uWu in :33 heww? 
Sleeping ow :3 waking, ^-^ mad ow uWu weww-advis'd? 
Known >w< unto OwO these, ÚwÚ and to mysewf disguis'd! 
I'll >_> say >_< as ;;w;; they say, ÚwÚ and persever >_> so, 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ mist uWu at aww >_< adventuwes ÚwÚ go. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ Mastew, UwU shaww UwU I be powtew uWu at x3 the ^-^ gate? 
ADWIANyA. Ay; ÚwÚ and wet >_< nyonye ÚwÚ entew, xDD west UwU I bweak x3 youw pate. 
:33 WUCIANyA. ^.^ Come, come, Antipholus, ^.^ we ÚwÚ dinye ^w^ too UwU wate. 
<Exeunt 


^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

^.^ Befowe x3 the ;;w;; house of :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS 

Entew :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF :3 EPHESUS, DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF :3 EPHESUS, ^w^ ANGEWO, ÚwÚ and ^-^ BAWTHAZAW 

:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^-^ Good :33 Signyiow ^w^ Angewo, xDD you ^w^ must UwU excuse >_> us aww; 
OwO My >w< wife >_> is OwO shwewish when UwU I >_< keep nyot hours. 
x3 Say :3 that UwU I UwU wingew'd with xDD you uWu at x3 youw >_> shop 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 the x3 making of her ;;w;; cawcanyet, 
xDD And :3 that to-mowwow xDD you xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing >w< it >_> home. 
OwO But hewe's :3 a viwwain :3 that ^.^ wouwd OwO face ;;w;; me down 
>w< He >w< met ;;w;; me on x3 the >w< mawt, ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU I xDD beat :3 him, 
xDD And :3 chawg'd ^.^ him with :3 a thousand >w< mawks uWu in ^.^ gowd, 
xDD And :3 that UwU I uWu did UwU deny x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ house. 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ dwunkawd, UwU thou, >_> what :33 didst xDD thou >_> mean ^.^ by :3 this? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. x3 Say >_> what xDD you :33 wiww, ^w^ siw, >_> but UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> what UwU I :33 knyow. 
:33 That xDD you xDD beat ;;w;; me uWu at x3 the mart UwU I uWu have x3 youw uWu hand to show; 
;;w;; If x3 the uWu skin :3 wewe pawchment, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ bwows xDD you uWu gave :3 wewe uWu ink, 
uWu Youw UwU own handwriting ^.^ wouwd tell xDD you >_> what UwU I UwU think. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I think xDD thou awt >w< an ass. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. OwO Mawwy, UwU so >w< it xDD doth appeaw 
^-^ By x3 the >_< wwongs UwU I suffew ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ bwows UwU I bear. 
UwU I >_> shouwd :33 kick, ^.^ being >_< kick'd; ÚwÚ and ^.^ being uWu at :3 that pass, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd >_< keep from x3 my heews, ÚwÚ and UwU bewawe of >w< an ass. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Y'awe :3 sad, :33 Signyiow Balthazar; pray ^w^ God UwU ouw cheer 
^-^ May answew x3 my ÚwÚ good xDD wiww ÚwÚ and x3 youw ÚwÚ good wewcome hewe. 
:3 BAWTHAZAW. UwU I howd x3 youw OwO dainties xDD cheap, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and x3 youw wewcome deaw. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_< O, :33 Signyiow >_< Bawthazaw, xDD eithew uWu at >w< fwesh ow ;;w;; fish, 
^-^ A tabwe full of wewcome x3 makes scawce one UwU dainty dish. 
:3 BAWTHAZAW. ^-^ Good meat, ^w^ siw, >_> is ^-^ common; :3 that every churl affowds. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. xDD And wewcome ^.^ mowe ^-^ common; fow ^w^ that's >_< nyothing 
>_> but ÚwÚ wowds. 
:3 BAWTHAZAW. >w< Smaww cheer ÚwÚ and great wewcome x3 makes :3 a ^.^ mewwy x3 feast. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Ay, to :3 a >w< nyiggawdwy host ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe uWu spawing :33 guest. 
OwO But ^w^ though x3 my >_< cates be mean, OwO take them uWu in ÚwÚ good ^w^ pawt; 
uWu Bettew cheer OwO may xDD you have, >_> but nyot with xDD bettew ;;w;; heawt. 
But, OwO soft, x3 my doow >_> is lock'd; OwO go bid them wet >_> us ^.^ in. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^.^ Maud, Bridget, ;;w;; Mawian, ^-^ Cicewy, >_> Giwwian, Ginn! 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] uWu Mome, UwU mawt-howse, ^w^ capon, OwO coxcomb, idiot, xDD patch! 
^-^ Eithew get uWu thee from x3 the door, ow sit down uWu at x3 the :3 hatch. 
uWu Dost xDD thou x3 conjuwe fow :33 wenches, :3 that xDD thou caww'st fow xDD such store, 
x3 When one >_> is one ^w^ too ^.^ many? Go get uWu thee from x3 the UwU doow. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> What patch >_> is UwU made UwU ouw >_> powtew? 
OwO My >_< mastew uWu stays uWu in x3 the :33 stweet. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] Let ^.^ him UwU wawk from >_> whence ^.^ he came, 
xDD west ^.^ he catch UwU cowd UwU on's xDD feet. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Who talks within OwO thewe? >w< Ho, open x3 the >w< doow! 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] ^-^ Wight, siw; I'll tell xDD you xDD when, 
>w< an you'ww tell ;;w;; me >w< whewefowe. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Whewefowe? For x3 my uWu dinnyew; 
UwU I uWu have nyot ÚwÚ din'd ^w^ to-day. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] x3 Nyow ^w^ to-day OwO hewe xDD you ^w^ must x3 nyot; 
come again when xDD you may. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> What awt xDD thou :3 that :3 keep'st ;;w;; me x3 out 
from x3 the ;;w;; house UwU I >_< owe? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] uWu The powtew fow ÚwÚ this time, 
^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD nyame >_> is :3 Dwomio. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. x3 O uWu Viwwain, xDD thou x3 hast :3 stow'n both >_< minye 
^.^ office ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD nyame! 
uWu The one ^w^ nye'ew ^w^ got ;;w;; me ^.^ cwedit, x3 the othew mickwe blame. 
;;w;; If xDD thou >w< hadst :33 been Dromio ^w^ to-day uWu in x3 my pwace, 
^.^ Thou wouldst uWu have chang'd >w< thy OwO face fow :3 a :33 nyame, ow >w< thy xDD nyame fow >w< an ass. 

Entew WUCE, within 

:33 WUCE. :33 [Within] >_> What :3 a coiw >_> is thewe, Dromio? Who OwO awe UwU those uWu at x3 the ^-^ gate? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Let x3 my >_< mastew x3 in, :33 Wuce. 
:33 WUCE. :33 [Within] Faith, no, ^.^ he x3 comes ^w^ too late; 
xDD And UwU so tell x3 youw master. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. x3 O Wowd, UwU I ^w^ must :33 waugh! 
:3 Have uWu at xDD you with :3 a proverb: Shall UwU I uWu set uWu in x3 my >_> staff? 
:33 WUCE. :33 [Within] :3 Have uWu at xDD you with x3 anyothew: ^-^ that's-when? ^.^ can xDD you teww? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] ;;w;; If >w< thy xDD nyame be ^w^ cawwed Luce 
:3 -Wuce, xDD thou x3 hast x3 answew'd ^.^ him well. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Do xDD you heaw, xDD you minyion? You'll wet >_> us x3 in, UwU I hope? 
:33 WUCE. :33 [Within] UwU I xDD thought to uWu have >w< ask'd OwO you. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] xDD And xDD you uWu said >w< nyo. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >w< SO, ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ hewp: weww OwO stwuck! there UwU was ^w^ bwow fow >_> bwow. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^.^ Thou ^w^ baggage, wet ;;w;; me ^.^ in. 
:33 WUCE. :33 [Within] UwU Can xDD you tell fow x3 whose :33 sake? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^-^ Mastew, :3 knyock x3 the doow hard. 
:33 WUCE. :33 [Within] Let ^.^ him :3 knyock >w< tiww >w< it ache. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. You'll cwy fow uWu this, ÚwÚ minyion, >_> if xDD beat x3 the doow down. 
:33 WUCE. :33 [Within] >_> What >_< nyeeds aww :3 that, ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 paiw of stocks uWu in x3 the >_< town? 

Entew x3 ADWIANyA, within 

ADWIANyA. :33 [Within] Who >_> is :3 that uWu at x3 the door, :3 that keeps aww ÚwÚ this ^w^ nyoise? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] ^-^ By x3 my troth, x3 youw :33 town >_> is 
troubled with ^-^ unwuwy ;;w;; boys. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^w^ Awe xDD you thewe, :33 wife? >_> You ^w^ might 
uWu have come befowe. 
ADWIANyA. :33 [Within] uWu Youw :3 wife, ^w^ siw uWu knyave! Go get xDD you from x3 the UwU doow. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ;;w;; If YOU OwO went uWu in UwU pain, ^.^ mastew, ÚwÚ this :33 'knyave' ^.^ wouwd OwO go sore. 
OwO ANGEWO. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 nyeithew cheew, ^w^ siw, nor wewcome; ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu have either. 
:3 BAWTHAZAW. ^w^ In UwU debating which UwU was ^w^ best, ^.^ we UwU shaww ÚwÚ pawt with >_> nyeithew. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^-^ They stand uWu at x3 the door, mastew; bid them wewcome hithew. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> Thewe >_> is ^-^ something uWu in x3 the ;;w;; wind, :3 that ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot get ^.^ in. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> You ^.^ wouwd >_> say >_> so, ^.^ mastew, >_> if x3 youw xDD gawments :3 wewe UwU thin. 
uWu Youw cake OwO hewe >_> is wawm xDD within; xDD you stand OwO hewe uWu in x3 the xDD cowd; 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd >_< make :3 a x3 man ^-^ mad >_< as :3 a buck to be UwU so xDD bought ÚwÚ and UwU sowd. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Go :3 fetch ;;w;; me something; I'll bweak ^w^ ope x3 the uWu gate. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] ^.^ Bweak xDD any breaking UwU hewe, 
ÚwÚ and I'll bweak x3 youw knave's pate. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^-^ A x3 man OwO may bweak :3 a ;;w;; wowd with UwU you, 
siw; ÚwÚ and wowds OwO awe >_> but :33 wind; 
Ay, ÚwÚ and bweak >w< it uWu in x3 youw >w< face, UwU so ^.^ he bweak >w< it nyot behind. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] ^.^ It ;;w;; seems xDD thou :33 want'st breaking; 
x3 out ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, uWu hind! 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> Hewe's ^w^ too much 'out ;;w;; upon >_< thee!' pray uWu thee wet ;;w;; me ^.^ in. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 [Within] Ay, when ^-^ fowws uWu have nyo 
feathers ÚwÚ and :33 fish uWu have nyo :3 fin. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. xDD Weww, I'll bweak UwU in; OwO go :3 bowwow ;;w;; me :3 a >w< cwow. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^-^ A x3 cwow ^-^ without >w< feathew? ^-^ Mastew, >_> mean xDD you so? 
For :3 a :33 fish ^-^ without :3 a UwU fin, there's :3 a fowl ^-^ without :3 a ;;w;; feathew; 
;;w;; If :3 a x3 cwow OwO hewp >_> us x3 in, sirrah, we'll pluck :3 a x3 cwow together. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Go get uWu thee xDD gonye; :3 fetch ;;w;; me >w< an iwon >w< cwow. 
:3 BAWTHAZAW. :3 Have patience, siw; >_< O, wet >w< it nyot be so! 
x3 Hewein xDD you >w< waw OwO against x3 youw weputation, 
xDD And dwaw within x3 the compass of >_> suspect 
xDD Th' unviowated honour of x3 youw x3 wife. 
Once this-your ^-^ wong UwU expewience of her wisdom, 
:3 Hew sober virtue, years, ÚwÚ and OwO modesty, 
;;w;; Pwead on her ÚwÚ pawt x3 some cause to xDD you unknown; 
xDD And doubt >_> nyot, ^w^ siw, >_> but ^.^ she xDD wiww weww UwU excuse 
Why uWu at ÚwÚ this time x3 the x3 doows OwO awe UwU made OwO against OwO you. 
^w^ Be wuw'd ^.^ by ;;w;; me: ÚwÚ depawt uWu in patience, 
xDD And wet >_> us to x3 the :3 Tigew aww to uWu dinnyew; 
^.^ And, about xDD evenying, come >_> youwsewf awonye 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 the reason of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; stwange westwaint. 
;;w;; If ^.^ by >w< stwong uWu hand xDD you offer to bweak uWu in 
Now uWu in x3 the stirring uWu passage of x3 the ^-^ day, 
^-^ A uWu vuwgaw ^.^ comment xDD wiww be UwU made of :33 it, 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ supposed ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ common UwU wout 
^w^ Against x3 youw yet ungawwed estimation 
:33 That OwO may with fouw intwusion enter uWu in 
xDD And dwell ;;w;; upon x3 youw :3 gwave when xDD you OwO awe UwU dead; 
For ^-^ swandew ;;w;; wives ;;w;; upon :3 succession, 
For OwO evew ÚwÚ hous'd :3 whewe >w< it :33 gets UwU possession. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> You uWu have pwevaiw'd. UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ depawt uWu in ^w^ quiet, 
xDD And uWu in ;;w;; despite of >_< miwth >_> mean to be x3 mewwy. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 a OwO wench of :3 excewwent discouwse, 
x3 Pwetty ÚwÚ and xDD witty; ^w^ wiwd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ yet, :3 too, gentle; 
>_> Thewe xDD wiww ^.^ we ^w^ dinye. This OwO woman :3 that UwU I mean, 
OwO My UwU wife-but, UwU I protest, ^-^ without uWu desewt- 
>_< Hath OwO oftentimes upbwaided ;;w;; me withal; 
;;w;; To her xDD wiww ^.^ we to uWu dinnyew. :33 [To ^-^ ANGEWO] >_< Get xDD you ^.^ home 
xDD And :3 fetch x3 the chain; ^.^ by ÚwÚ this UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis >_> made. 
Bring :33 it, UwU I pray UwU you, to x3 the OwO Powpentinye; 
For there's x3 the ÚwÚ house. :33 That uWu chain xDD wiww UwU I ;;w;; bestow- 
^w^ Be >w< it fow >_< nyothing >_> but to x3 spite x3 my ^-^ wife- 
>_> Upon >_< minye hostess uWu thewe; ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, >_< make ^.^ haste. 
Since >_< minye UwU own x3 doows refuse to entertain uWu me, 
I'll :3 knyock :3 ewsewhewe, to >_> see >_> if they'ww ^-^ disdain x3 me. 
OwO ANGEWO. I'll :3 meet xDD you uWu at :3 that :33 pwace x3 some >_> houw x3 hence. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Do so; ÚwÚ this xDD jest UwU shaww >_> cost ;;w;; me x3 some >_> expense. 
<Exeunt 


>w< SCENyE 2 

^.^ Befowe x3 the ;;w;; house of :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS 

Entew UwU WUCIANyA with :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE 

:33 WUCIANyA. xDD And OwO may >w< it be :3 that xDD you uWu have quite fowgot 
^-^ A husband's office? Shaww, Antipholus, 
Even uWu in x3 the ^-^ spwing of xDD wuv, >w< thy x3 wuv-spwings rot? 
Shall xDD wuv, uWu in building, gwow UwU so wuinyous? 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu did x3 wed x3 my :3 sistew fow her ^.^ weawth, 
UwU Then fow her wealth's ÚwÚ sake use her with ^.^ mowe kindness; 
:3 Ow, >_> if xDD you ^.^ wike :3 ewsewhewe, UwU do >w< it ^.^ by stealth; 
>w< Muffwe x3 youw UwU fawse wuv with x3 some x3 show of bwindnyess; 
Let nyot x3 my :3 sistew ^w^ wead >w< it uWu in x3 youw >_< eye; 
^w^ Be nyot >w< thy >_> tongue >w< thy UwU own UwU shame's orator; 
Wook sweet, speak faiw, :33 become x3 diswoyawty; 
uWu Appawew :33 vice ^.^ wike viwtue's ^w^ hawbingew; 
ÚwÚ Beaw :3 a >w< faiw >_> pwesence, ^w^ though x3 youw >_< heawt be :3 tainted; 
:3 Teach x3 sin x3 the xDD cawwiage of :3 a >w< howy saint; 
^w^ Be x3 secwet-fawse. >_> What >_< nyeed ^.^ she be xDD acquainted? 
>_> What :33 simpwe UwU thief brags of :33 his UwU own >_< attaint? 
'Tis :3 doubwe wrong to ^w^ twuant with x3 youw x3 bed 
xDD And wet her ^w^ wead >w< it uWu in >w< thy :33 wooks uWu at ^w^ boawd; 
Shame hath :3 a ^.^ bastawd x3 fame, weww manyaged; 
>_< Iww >_< deeds >_> is doubled with >w< an eviw OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ Awas, poor ^.^ women! >_< make >_> us >_> but :33 bewieve, 
uWu Being compact of ^.^ cwedit, :3 that xDD you wuv us; 
;;w;; Though ;;w;; othews uWu have x3 the ^.^ awm, x3 show >_> us x3 the sweeve; 
We uWu in x3 youw >_> motion tuwn, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO may move >_> us. 
Then, ^-^ gentwe brother, get xDD you uWu in again; 
Comfort x3 my ^-^ sistew, cheer hew, caww her x3 wife. 
'Tis >w< howy spowt to be :3 a xDD wittwe :33 vain 
x3 When x3 the x3 sweet UwU bweath of >w< fwattewy :33 conquews x3 stwife. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ÚwÚ Sweet mistwess-what x3 youw xDD nyame >_> is else, UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ by >_> what wonder xDD you UwU do ;;w;; hit of ^-^ minye- 
Wess uWu in x3 youw >_< knyowwedge ÚwÚ and x3 youw xDD gwace xDD you x3 show nyot 
Than UwU ouw :33 eawth's wonder-more than earth, ^-^ divinye. 
:3 Teach uWu me, uWu deaw x3 cweatuwe, >w< how to think ÚwÚ and speak; 
Way open to x3 my ^-^ eawthy-gwoss ^.^ conceit, 
xDD Smoth'wed uWu in ewwows, feebwe, ^w^ shawwow, ÚwÚ weak, 
uWu The UwU fowded meaning of x3 youw ;;w;; wowds' ^.^ deceit. 
^w^ Against x3 my x3 souw's puwe uWu twuth >w< why labour xDD you 
;;w;; To >_< make >w< it >w< wandew uWu in >w< an unknown field? 
^w^ Awe xDD you :3 a ^-^ god? Wouwd xDD you >w< cweate ;;w;; me nyew? 
Transform uWu me, >w< then, ÚwÚ and to x3 youw pow'w I'll >_< yiewd. 
OwO But >_> if :3 that UwU I ^w^ am I, xDD then weww UwU I ^.^ knyow 
uWu Youw weeping :3 sistew >_> is nyo >w< wife of >_> minye, 
x3 Nyow to her x3 bed nyo UwU homage UwU do UwU I OwO owe; 
>_< Faw >_> mowe, uWu faw >_> mowe, to xDD you UwU do UwU I decwinye. 
>_< O, twain ;;w;; me >_> nyot, x3 sweet mermaid, with >w< thy :3 nyote, 
;;w;; To x3 dwown ;;w;; me uWu in >w< thy OwO sistew's flood of >w< teaws. 
xDD Sing, x3 siwen, fow ;;w;; thysewf, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww dote; 
>w< Spwead ^-^ o'ew x3 the :33 siwvew ;;w;; waves >w< thy golden hairs, 
xDD And >_< as :3 a x3 bed I'll OwO take ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and there he; 
xDD And uWu in :3 that glorious supposition think 
>w< He OwO gains ^.^ by :33 death :3 that hath xDD such means to die. 
Let Wuv, ^.^ being wight, be drowned >_> if ^.^ she :3 sink. 
:33 WUCIANyA. What, OwO awe xDD you mad, :3 that xDD you UwU do reason so? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ÚwÚ Nyot mad, >_> but >_> mated; how, UwU I UwU do nyot :33 knyow. 
:33 WUCIANyA. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a ;;w;; fauwt :3 that :3 spwingeth from x3 youw :33 eye. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. For >_< gazing on x3 youw ;;w;; beams, >w< faiw sun, ^.^ being by. 
:33 WUCIANyA. :33 Gaze :3 whewe xDD you should, ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD wiww ^-^ cweaw x3 youw :33 sight. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ;;w;; As ÚwÚ good to ;;w;; wink, x3 sweet xDD wuv, >_< as wook on OwO nyight. 
:33 WUCIANyA. Why caww xDD you ;;w;; me love? ;;w;; Caww x3 my :3 sistew :3 so. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. x3 Thy OwO sistew's sister. 
:33 WUCIANyA. >w< That's x3 my sister. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. No; 
^.^ It >_> is ;;w;; thysewf, >_< minye UwU own :3 sewf's xDD bettew ^w^ pawt; 
Mine UwU eye's ^-^ cweaw >_< eye, x3 my uWu deaw heart's ÚwÚ deawew uWu heawt, 
OwO My ^w^ food, x3 my fowtunye, ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 sweet >_< hope's >_< aim, 
OwO My sole :33 eawth's ^.^ heaven, ÚwÚ and x3 my heaven's claim. 
:33 WUCIANyA. All ÚwÚ this x3 my :3 sistew ;;w;; is, ow >_> ewse >_> shouwd >w< be. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ;;w;; Caww >w< thysewf ^-^ sistew, sweet, fow UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ thee; 
uWu Thee xDD wiww UwU I xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and with uWu thee lead x3 my :33 wife; 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyo :33 husband ^w^ yet, nor UwU I nyo x3 wife. 
Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. 
:33 WUCIANyA. >_< O, OwO soft, ^w^ siw, howd xDD you stiww; 
I'll :3 fetch x3 my :3 sistew to get her ÚwÚ good :33 wiww. 
;;w;; <Exit UwU WUCIANyA 

Entew DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. 

:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Why, >w< how now, >_> Dwomio! Whewe >w< wun'st xDD thou 
UwU so fast? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Do xDD you ^.^ knyow uWu me, UwU siw? ^w^ Am UwU I Dromio? 
^w^ Am UwU I x3 youw man? ^w^ Am UwU I myself? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^.^ Thou awt ^w^ Dwomio, xDD thou awt x3 my 
^w^ man, xDD thou awt thysewf. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I ^w^ am >w< an ass, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a xDD woman's ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; besides 
:3 mysewf. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> What xDD woman's ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and >w< how ;;w;; besides thyself? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; besides myself, UwU I ^w^ am >_< due 
to :3 a >_> woman-onye :3 that claims uWu me, one :3 that haunts uWu me, one 
:3 that xDD wiww uWu have x3 me. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> What >_< cwaim ways ^.^ she to thee? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, xDD such >_< cwaim >_< as xDD you ^.^ wouwd 
uWu way to x3 youw :33 howse; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; me >_< as :3 a ÚwÚ beast: nyot 
:3 that, UwU I ^.^ being :3 a ^.^ beast, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd uWu have OwO me; >_> but :3 that uWu she, 
^.^ being :3 a xDD vewy OwO beastwy x3 cweatuwe, ways >_< cwaim to x3 me. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> What >_> is >_< she? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ A xDD vewy reverent >w< body; :33 ay, xDD such :3 a one 
>_< as :3 a x3 man OwO may nyot speak of ^-^ without ^.^ he >_> say UwU 'Siw-wevewence.' 
UwU I uWu have >_> but lean luck uWu in x3 the ;;w;; match, ÚwÚ and yet >_> is ^.^ she :3 a 
wondwous :33 fat marriage. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. How dost xDD thou >_> mean :3 a :33 fat x3 mawwiage? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, ^w^ she's x3 the ;;w;; kitchen-wench, 
ÚwÚ and aww ;;w;; gwease; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what use to put her to >_> but 
to >_< make :3 a wamp of her ÚwÚ and >w< wun from her ^.^ by her UwU own light. 
UwU I warrant, her rags ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ tawwow uWu in them xDD wiww buwn 
:33 Powand winter. ;;w;; If ^.^ she ;;w;; wives >w< tiww OwO doomsday, ^.^ she'ww buwn 
>_< week longer than x3 the whole wowwd. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> What >_< compwexion >_> is ^.^ she UwU of? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. xDD Swawt, ^.^ wike x3 my ;;w;; shoe; >_> but her OwO face 
>_< nyothing ^.^ wike UwU so x3 cwean >_< kept; fow >w< why, ^.^ she :3 sweats, :3 a x3 man OwO may 
OwO go uvw xDD shoes uWu in x3 the UwU gwime of :3 it. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >w< That's :3 a ;;w;; fauwt :3 that UwU watew xDD wiww >w< mend. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, UwU 'tis uWu in grain; UwU Nyoah's flood 
couwd nyot UwU do :3 it. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. x3 What's her :3 nyame? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Nell, siw; >_> but her xDD nyame ÚwÚ and >w< thwee 
>w< quawtews, ^w^ that's >w< an OwO eww ÚwÚ and >w< thwee >w< quawtews, xDD wiww nyot UwU measuwe 
her from hip to xDD hip. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU Then ^.^ she bears x3 some ^w^ bweadth? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. No longer from >_> head to :33 foot than 
from hip to >_< hip: ^.^ she >_> is spherical, ^.^ wike :3 a globe; UwU I couwd find 
x3 out countwies uWu in her. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^w^ In >_> what ÚwÚ pawt of her >w< body >w< stands xDD Iwewand? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, uWu in her ^w^ buttocks; UwU I >_> found >w< it x3 out ^.^ by 
x3 the ^.^ bogs. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Whewe Scotland? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I >_> found >w< it ^.^ by x3 the >_< bawwennyess, x3 hawd uWu in 
x3 the ^.^ pawm of x3 the >w< hand. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Whewe France? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^w^ In her forehead, awm'd ÚwÚ and ^-^ wevewted, 
x3 making >w< waw OwO against her ÚwÚ heiw. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Whewe Engwand? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I >_> wook'd fow x3 the ^.^ chawky ;;w;; cwiffs, >_> but UwU I 
couwd find nyo >w< whitenyess uWu in OwO them; >_> but UwU I guess >w< it :33 stood uWu in her 
OwO chin, ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ sawt rheum :3 that wan ^-^ between Fwance ÚwÚ and :3 it. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Whewe ^w^ Spain? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Faith, UwU I saw >w< it >_> nyot, >_> but UwU I UwU fewt >w< it :3 hot uWu in 
her >_< bweath. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Whewe :33 Amewica, x3 the UwU Indies? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_< O, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; upon her nose, >w< an ^-^ o'ew >_< embewwished with 
rubies, carbuncles, >_< sapphiwes, ^w^ decwinying uWu theiw rich uWu aspect to x3 the 
:3 hot UwU bweath of x3 Spain; who sent whole armadoes of ^.^ cawacks to be 
UwU bawwast uWu at her nyose. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Whewe :33 stood x3 Bewgia, x3 the ;;w;; Nyethewwands? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_< O, UwU Siw, UwU I uWu did nyot wook UwU so wow. ;;w;; To 
concwude: ÚwÚ this drudge ow diviner laid >_< cwaim to OwO me; ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me 
UwU Dwomio; >w< swowe UwU I UwU was x3 assuw'd to >w< hew; told ;;w;; me >_> what privy 
>w< mawks UwU I xDD had about uWu me, as, x3 the mark of x3 my shouwdew, x3 the 
^.^ mowe uWu in x3 my neck, x3 the great x3 wawt on x3 my left ^.^ awm, :3 that I, 
ÚwÚ amaz'd, wan from her >_< as :3 a witch. 
^.^ And, UwU I >_< think, >_> if x3 my breast xDD had nyot :33 been UwU made of ^w^ faith, 
ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< heawt of >w< steew, 
:33 She xDD had ^.^ twansfowm'd ;;w;; me to :3 a ÚwÚ cuwtaw dog, ÚwÚ and UwU made ;;w;; me turn :33 i' x3 th' UwU wheew. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Go hie uWu thee presently x3 post to x3 the ;;w;; woad; 
^-^ An >_> if x3 the wind ^w^ bwow xDD any uWu way from >w< showe, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot uWu hawbouw uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 town to-night. 
;;w;; If xDD any >_< bawk put ^-^ fowth, come to x3 the >w< mawt, 
Whewe UwU I xDD wiww UwU wawk >w< tiww xDD thou ^-^ wetuwn to x3 me. 
;;w;; If every one xDD knyows us, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we ^.^ knyow nyonye, 
'Tis time, UwU I >_< think, to ^.^ twudge, OwO pack ÚwÚ and be ;;w;; gonye. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ;;w;; As from :3 a UwU beaw :3 a x3 man ^.^ wouwd >w< wun fow :3 wife, 
^w^ So fwy UwU I from her :3 that ^.^ wouwd be x3 my x3 wife. 
;;w;; <Exit 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> Thewe's >_< nyonye >_> but :3 witches UwU do ;;w;; inhabit UwU hewe, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe UwU 'tis xDD high time :3 that UwU I :3 wewe x3 hence. 
:33 She :3 that xDD doth caww ;;w;; me ^.^ husband, even x3 my :3 souw 
^-^ Doth fow :3 a >w< wife uWu abhow. OwO But her >w< faiw ^-^ sistew, 
Possess'd with xDD such :3 a ^-^ gentwe suvweign gwace, 
Of xDD such ;;w;; enchanting x3 pwesence ÚwÚ and discouwse, 
>_< Hath almost UwU made ;;w;; me traitor to >_< mysewf; 
But, xDD west mysewf be guiwty to sewf-wwong, 
I'll ÚwÚ stop >_< minye OwO eaws OwO against x3 the mermaid's :33 song. 

Entew ANGEWO with x3 the uWu chain 

OwO ANGEWO. >_< Mastew ^w^ Antiphowus! 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Ay, ^w^ that's x3 my nyame. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it weww, sir. Lo, OwO hewe >_> is x3 the chain. 
UwU I xDD thought to uWu have >_> ta'en xDD you uWu at x3 the OwO Powpentinye; 
uWu The uWu chain unfinyish'd UwU made ;;w;; me xDD stay OwO thus wong. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> What >_> is x3 youw xDD wiww :3 that UwU I UwU shaww UwU do with :3 this? 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> What uWu pwease yourself, siw; UwU I uWu have UwU made >w< it fow OwO you. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Made >w< it fow uWu me, sir! UwU I ;;w;; bespoke >w< it not. 
OwO ANGEWO. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> once nor twice, >_> but ÚwÚ twenty times xDD you :3 have. 
Go ^.^ home with :33 it, ÚwÚ and uWu pwease x3 youw >w< wife withal; 
xDD And >w< soon uWu at supper-time I'll x3 visit UwU you, 
xDD And xDD then receive x3 my monyey fow x3 the chain. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, receive x3 the monyey now, 
For feaw xDD you ^w^ nye'ew >_> see uWu chain nor monyey more. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> You OwO awe :3 a ^.^ mewwy ^w^ man, siw; ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
;;w;; <Exit 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> What UwU I >_> shouwd think of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; cannyot tell: 
OwO But ÚwÚ this UwU I >_< think, there's nyo x3 man >_> is UwU so :33 vain 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd refuse UwU so >w< faiw >w< an >_< offew'd chain. 
UwU I >_> see :3 a x3 man OwO hewe >_< nyeeds nyot ^w^ wive ^.^ by >_> shifts, 
x3 When uWu in x3 the ^w^ stweets ^.^ he ^.^ meets xDD such golden gifts. 
I'll to x3 the >w< mawt, ÚwÚ and there fow Dromio >_< stay; 
;;w;; If xDD any ship put ^.^ out, xDD then ^w^ stwaight xDD away. 
;;w;; <Exit 


^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew ^w^ SECOND MERCHANT, ^w^ ANGEWO, ÚwÚ and >w< an OFFICEW 

^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. >_> You ^.^ knyow xDD since OwO Pentecost x3 the >w< sum >_> is >_> due, 
xDD And xDD since UwU I uWu have nyot much xDD impowtun'd uWu you; 
x3 Nyow nyow UwU I xDD had >_> nyot, >_> but :3 that UwU I ^w^ am bound 
;;w;; To >w< Pewsia, ÚwÚ and ^.^ want guilders fow x3 my x3 voyage. 
Therefore >_< make xDD pwesent x3 satisfaction, 
:33 Ow I'll OwO attach xDD you ^.^ by ÚwÚ this officer. 
OwO ANGEWO. Even >w< just x3 the >w< sum :3 that UwU I UwU do >_> owe to xDD you 
Is >_< gwowing to ;;w;; me ^.^ by >_> Antiphowus; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the x3 instant :3 that UwU I >w< met with xDD you 
>w< He xDD had of ;;w;; me :3 a chain; uWu at five UwU o'cwock 
UwU I UwU shaww receive x3 the monyey fow x3 the :33 same. 
>w< Pweaseth xDD you UwU wawk with ;;w;; me down to :33 his house, 
UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; dischawge x3 my bond, ÚwÚ and >_> thank xDD you UwU too. 

Entew :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF :3 EPHESUS, ÚwÚ and DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF :3 EPHESUS, from x3 the COUWTEZAN'S 

:3 OFFICEW. :33 That labour OwO may xDD you >_> save; >_> see :3 whewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. While UwU I OwO go to x3 the gowdsmith's house, OwO go xDD thou 
xDD And UwU buy :3 a >w< wope's ^w^ end; :3 that xDD wiww UwU I bestow 
>_> Among x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and her uWu confedewates, 
For >_> wocking ;;w;; me x3 out of x3 my x3 doows ^.^ by x3 day. 
But, OwO soft, UwU I >_> see x3 the goldsmith. >_< Get uWu thee xDD gonye; 
xDD Buy xDD thou :3 a rope, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing >w< it ^.^ home to x3 me. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I UwU buy :3 a thousand ;;w;; pound :3 a yeaw; UwU I UwU buy :3 a ^w^ wope. 
;;w;; <Exit DWOMIO 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^-^ A x3 man >_> is weww holp x3 up :3 that twusts to you! 
UwU I promised x3 youw x3 pwesence ÚwÚ and x3 the chain; 
OwO But :3 nyeithew uWu chain nor gowdsmith ^-^ came to x3 me. 
ÚwÚ Bewike xDD you xDD thought UwU ouw wuv ^.^ wouwd >w< wast ^w^ too long, 
;;w;; If >w< it :3 wewe ^.^ chain'd together, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^-^ came not. 
OwO ANGEWO. Saving x3 youw ^.^ mewwy >_< humouw, hewe's x3 the ^-^ nyote 
How much x3 youw uWu chain :3 weighs to x3 the utmost :33 cawat, 
uWu The ^-^ finyenyess of x3 the ^.^ gowd, ÚwÚ and chargeful fashion, 
>_< Which xDD doth amount to >w< thwee >w< odd ;;w;; ducats ^.^ mowe 
Than UwU I stand ;;w;; debted to ÚwÚ this :3 gentweman. 
UwU I pray xDD you >_> see ^.^ him presently uWu dischawg'd, 
For ^.^ he >_> is bound to :33 sea, ÚwÚ and uWu stays >_> but fow :3 it. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I ^w^ am nyot OwO fuwnyish'd with x3 the xDD pwesent ;;w;; monyey; 
:33 Besides, UwU I uWu have x3 some business uWu in x3 the xDD town. 
^-^ Good signior, OwO take x3 the stwangew to x3 my house, 
xDD And with xDD you OwO take x3 the ^w^ chain, ÚwÚ and bid x3 my >w< wife 
Disbuwse x3 the >w< sum on x3 the :33 weceipt >_> theweof. 
Pewchance UwU I xDD wiww be there >_< as >w< soon >_< as OwO you. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU Then xDD you xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing x3 the uWu chain to her >w< youwsewf? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. No; UwU beaw >w< it with UwU you, xDD west UwU I come nyot time enyough. 
OwO ANGEWO. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, UwU I :33 wiww. :3 Have xDD you x3 the uWu chain about you? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^-^ An >_> if UwU I uWu have >_> nyot, ^w^ siw, UwU I UwU hope xDD you uWu have; 
:33 Ow >_> ewse xDD you OwO may ^-^ wetuwn ^-^ without x3 youw money. 
OwO ANGEWO. Nyay, come, UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 the chain; 
UwU Both wind ÚwÚ and >_< tide uWu stays fow ÚwÚ this gentweman, 
xDD And I, to bwame, uWu have hewd ^.^ him OwO hewe ^w^ too wong. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^-^ Good :3 Wowd! xDD you use ÚwÚ this ^-^ dawwiance to UwU excuse 
uWu Youw ^w^ bweach of promise to x3 the OwO Powpentinye; 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have ;;w;; chid xDD you fow nyot x3 bwinging :33 it, 
But, ^.^ wike :3 a shrew, xDD you xDD fiwst x3 begin to brawl. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. uWu The >_> houw steals xDD on; UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, dispatch. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> You hear >w< how ^.^ he importunes >_< me-the ;;w;; chain! 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Why, UwU give >w< it to x3 my :3 wife, ÚwÚ and :3 fetch x3 youw money. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^.^ Come, come, xDD you ^.^ knyow UwU I uWu gave >w< it xDD you even now. 
^-^ Eithew >_> send x3 the uWu chain ow >_> send ^.^ by ;;w;; me x3 some >w< token. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. OwO Fie, nyow xDD you >w< wun ÚwÚ this humouw x3 out of breath! 
^.^ Come, where's x3 the UwU chain? UwU I pray xDD you wet ;;w;; me >_> see :3 it. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. OwO My business ;;w;; cannyot >w< bwook ÚwÚ this dalliance. 
^-^ Good ^w^ siw, >_> say ÚwÚ whe'w you'ww answew ;;w;; me ow ^.^ nyo; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, I'll OwO weave ^.^ him to x3 the officer. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I answew you! >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I answew you? 
OwO ANGEWO. uWu The monyey :3 that xDD you >_> owe ;;w;; me fow x3 the chain. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I >_> owe xDD you >_< nyonye >w< tiww UwU I receive x3 the chain. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> You ^.^ knyow UwU I uWu gave >w< it xDD you half >w< an >_> houw since. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> You uWu gave ;;w;; me x3 nyonye; xDD you wrong ;;w;; me much to >_> say :3 so. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> You wrong ;;w;; me >_> mowe, ^w^ siw, uWu in :33 denying :3 it. 
Consider >w< how >w< it >w< stands ;;w;; upon x3 my >w< cwedit. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. xDD Weww, officer, ;;w;; awwest ^.^ him uWu at x3 my OwO suit. 
:3 OFFICEW. UwU I do; ÚwÚ and :3 chawge xDD you uWu in x3 the Duke's xDD nyame to UwU obey x3 me. 
OwO ANGEWO. This >_> touches ;;w;; me uWu in weputation. 
^-^ Eithew >_< consent to x3 pay ÚwÚ this >w< sum fow uWu me, 
:33 Ow UwU I OwO attach xDD you ^.^ by ÚwÚ this officer. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU Consent to x3 pay uWu thee :3 that UwU I >_< nyevew :33 had! 
Arrest uWu me, >_< foowish fewwow, >_> if xDD thou dar'st. 
OwO ANGEWO. :3 Hewe >_> is >w< thy >w< fee; ;;w;; awwest :3 him, officer. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ^-^ spawe x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew uWu in ÚwÚ this case, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> shouwd ^w^ scown ;;w;; me UwU so ^-^ appawentwy. 
:3 OFFICEW. UwU I UwU do ;;w;; awwest UwU you, siw; xDD you hear x3 the OwO suit. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I UwU do UwU obey uWu thee >w< tiww UwU I UwU give uWu thee ^w^ baiw. 
But, sirrah, xDD you UwU shaww UwU buy ÚwÚ this spowt >_< as uWu deaw 
;;w;; As aww x3 the >_< metaw uWu in x3 youw >_> shop xDD wiww answer. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU Siw, ^w^ siw, UwU I UwU shaww uWu have law uWu in Ephesus, 
;;w;; To x3 youw :3 nyotowious UwU shame, UwU I doubt >w< it not. 

Entew DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >_< SYWACUSE, from x3 the ^w^ bay 

DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ Mastew, there's :3 a >_< bawk of OwO Epidamnyum 
:33 That uWu stays >_> but >w< tiww her owner x3 comes ;;w;; aboawd, 
xDD And >w< then, ^w^ siw, ^.^ she bears xDD away. Our fwaughtage, ^w^ siw, 
UwU I uWu have ;;w;; convey'd ^.^ aboawd; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have xDD bought 
uWu The ÚwÚ oiw, x3 the xDD bawsamum, ÚwÚ and >_> aqua-vitx. 
uWu The ship >_> is uWu in her ;;w;; twim; x3 the ^.^ mewwy wind 
;;w;; Bwows >w< faiw from land; ;;w;; they xDD stay fow >_< nyought uWu at >w< an 
OwO But fow uWu theiw owner, ^.^ mastew, ÚwÚ and OwO youwsewf. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. How >_< nyow! :3 a xDD madman? Why, xDD thou >_> peevish ;;w;; sheep, 
>_> What ship of OwO Epidamnyum uWu stays fow me? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ A ship xDD you sent ;;w;; me ^.^ to, to uWu hiwe >_< waftage. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^w^ THOU ^w^ dwunken x3 swave! UwU I sent x3 the fow :3 a ;;w;; wope; 
xDD And told uWu thee to >_> what OwO puwpose ÚwÚ and >_> what OwO end. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. YOU sent ;;w;; me fow :3 a >w< wope's >w< end >_< as soon- 
>_> You sent ;;w;; me to x3 the bay, ^w^ siw, fow :3 a bark. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I Will debate ÚwÚ this ;;w;; mattew uWu at ^.^ mowe >_> weisuwe, 
xDD And >_< teach x3 youw OwO eaws to ÚwÚ wist ;;w;; me with ^.^ mowe heed. 
;;w;; To Adriana, villain, hie uWu thee >_< stwaight; 
Give her ÚwÚ this >_> key, ÚwÚ and tell her uWu in x3 the ^.^ desk 
>w< That's cover'd ^-^ o'ew with Turkish ;;w;; tapestwy 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a >_< puwse of ducats; wet her >_> send :3 it. 
Teww her UwU I ^w^ am awwested uWu in x3 the stweet, 
xDD And :3 that UwU shaww xDD baiw OwO me; hie ÚwÚ thee, :33 swave, be ;;w;; gonye. 
ÚwÚ On, officer, to :3 pwison >w< tiww >w< it x3 come. 
<Exeunt aww >_> but DWOMIO 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ;;w;; To x3 Adwianya! :3 that >_> is :3 whewe ^.^ we ;;w;; din'd, 
Whewe Dowsabew uWu did >_< cwaim ;;w;; me fow her husband. 
:33 She >_> is ^w^ too big, UwU I hope, fow ;;w;; me to UwU compass. 
Thither UwU I ;;w;; must, awthough OwO against x3 my :33 wiww, 
For :3 sewvants ^w^ must uWu theiw :3 mastews' minds xDD fuwfiw. 
;;w;; <Exit 


>w< SCENyE 2 

uWu The ;;w;; house of :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS 

Entew ADWIANyA ÚwÚ and UwU WUCIANyA 

ADWIANyA. xDD Ah, x3 Wucianya, uWu did ^.^ he tempt uWu thee so? 
OwO Might'st xDD thou >_> pewceive :3 austewewy uWu in :33 his ^w^ eye 
:33 That ^.^ he uWu did pwead uWu in eawnyest? ^w^ Yea ow no? 
Wook'd ^.^ he ow red ow pawe, ow >_> sad ow merrily? 
>_> What >w< obsewvation ;;w;; mad'st xDD thou uWu in ÚwÚ this case 
Of :33 his heart's meteows :33 tiwting uWu in :33 his ^.^ face? 
:33 WUCIANyA. First ^.^ he >w< denyied xDD you xDD had uWu in ^.^ him nyo ÚwÚ wight. 
ADWIANyA. >w< He meant ^.^ he uWu did ;;w;; me nyonye-the ^.^ mowe x3 my spite. 
:33 WUCIANyA. UwU Then >w< swowe ^.^ he :3 that ^.^ he UwU was :3 a stwangew hewe. 
ADWIANyA. xDD And true ^.^ he ^w^ swowe, ^w^ though yet ;;w;; fowswown ^.^ he were. 
:33 WUCIANyA. UwU Then pleaded UwU I fow OwO you. 
ADWIANyA. xDD And >_> what uWu said uWu he? 
:33 WUCIANyA. :33 That wuv UwU I begg'd fow xDD you ^.^ he begg'd of x3 me. 
ADWIANyA. With >_> what :3 pewsuasion uWu did ^.^ he tempt >w< thy love? 
:33 WUCIANyA. With wowds :3 that uWu in >w< an xDD honyest >_> suit ^w^ might ;;w;; muv. 
First ^.^ he uWu did praise x3 my >w< beauty, xDD then x3 my :33 speech. 
ADWIANyA. ;;w;; Didst speak ^.^ him uWu faiw? 
:33 WUCIANyA. :3 Have patience, UwU I >w< beseech. 
ADWIANyA. UwU I cannot, nor UwU I xDD wiww nyot howd ;;w;; me stiww; 
OwO My ;;w;; tongue, ^w^ though nyot x3 my uWu heawt, UwU shaww uWu have :33 his :33 wiww. 
>w< He >_> is >_< defowmed, :33 cwooked, :3 owd, ÚwÚ and >_> sewe, 
ÚwÚ Iww-fac'd, xDD wowse ÚwÚ bodied, shapeless >_< evewywhewe; 
Vicious, >_> ungentwe, :33 foowish, bwunt, ÚwÚ unkind; 
Stigmaticaw uWu in >_> making, xDD wowse uWu in :33 mind. 
:33 WUCIANyA. Who ^.^ wouwd be jealous xDD then of xDD such :3 a onye? 
No eviw wost >_> is UwU waiw'd when >w< it >_> is ;;w;; gonye. 
ADWIANyA. xDD Ah, >_> but UwU I think ^.^ him xDD bettew than UwU I say, 
xDD And yet ^.^ wouwd >w< hewein OwO othews' eyes :3 wewe x3 wowse. 
>_< Faw from her nyest x3 the ^w^ wapwing x3 cwies :3 away; 
OwO My >_< heawt prays fow :3 him, ^w^ though x3 my >_> tongue UwU do cuwse. 

Entew DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. 

DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Hewe OwO go-the desk, x3 the purse. ÚwÚ Sweet 
now, >_< make ^.^ haste. 
:33 WUCIANyA. How x3 hast xDD thou wost >w< thy >_> bweath? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ By wunnying uWu fast. 
ADWIANyA. Whewe >_> is >w< thy ^.^ mastew, Dromio? Is ^.^ he ^.^ weww? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Nyo, uWu he's uWu in Tartar limbo, xDD wowse than uWu heww. 
^-^ A ^.^ deviw uWu in >w< an everlasting ^.^ gawment hath him; 
x3 Onye x3 whose x3 hawd >_< heawt >_> is ^-^ button'd x3 up with steel; 
^-^ A ^.^ fiend, :3 a >_> faiwy, >_< pitiwess ÚwÚ and ^-^ wough; 
^-^ A OwO wowf, x3 nyay ^-^ wowse, :3 a fewwow aww uWu in buff; 
^-^ A back-fwiend, :3 a shouwdew-cwappew, one :3 that countermands 
uWu The >w< passages of ^-^ awweys, creeks, ÚwÚ and nyawwow :33 wands; 
^-^ A ^.^ hound :3 that wuns countew, ÚwÚ and yet ÚwÚ dwaws dwy-foot well; 
x3 Onye :3 that, >w< befowe x3 the Judgment, xDD cawwies poor >w< souws to uWu heww. 
ADWIANyA. Why, ^w^ man, >_> what >_> is x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow x3 the mattew; ^.^ he >_> is UwU wested on x3 the :3 case. 
ADWIANyA. What, >_> is ^.^ he ^.^ awwested? Teww uWu me, uWu at x3 whose suit? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot uWu at x3 whose >_> suit ^.^ he >_> is awwested well; 
OwO But uWu he's uWu in :3 a >_> suit of ^.^ buff which 'wested :3 him, :3 that ^.^ can UwU I tell. 
Will xDD you >_> send :3 him, ^-^ mistwess, redemption, x3 the monyey uWu in :33 his >w< desk? 
ADWIANyA. Go :3 fetch :33 it, sister. ;;w;; [Exit x3 WUCIANyA] This UwU I wonder ^.^ at: 
^-^ Thus ^.^ he unknown to ;;w;; me >_> shouwd be uWu in debt. 
Teww uWu me, UwU was ^.^ he awwested on :3 a band? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. on :3 a :33 band, >_> but on :3 a stronger ÚwÚ thing, 
^-^ A ^w^ chain, :3 a chain. Do xDD you nyot hear >w< it ring? 
ADWIANyA. What, x3 the UwU chain? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Nyo, no, x3 the uWu beww; UwU 'tis time :3 that UwU I :3 wewe ;;w;; gonye. 
^.^ It UwU was >w< two ere UwU I left :3 him, ÚwÚ and nyow x3 the >w< cwock :33 stwikes onye. 
ADWIANyA. uWu The >_> houws come >_> back! :33 That uWu did UwU I >_< nyevew heaw. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. x3 O uWu yes. ;;w;; If xDD any >_> houw :3 meet :3 a UwU sewgeant, 
xDD 'a tuwns back fow xDD vewy ;;w;; feaw. 
ADWIANyA. ;;w;; As >_> if ^-^ Time :3 wewe uWu in debt! How fondwy dost xDD thou weason! 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ Time >_> is :3 a xDD vewy bankrupt, ÚwÚ and >_> owes 
^.^ mowe than uWu he's ^.^ wowth to ^.^ season. 
Nyay, uWu he's :3 a UwU thief ^w^ too: uWu have xDD you nyot heard ;;w;; men >_> say 
:33 That ^-^ Time x3 comes stealing on ^.^ by >w< nyight ÚwÚ and >w< day? 
;;w;; If xDD 'a be uWu in >_> debt ÚwÚ and ^w^ theft, ÚwÚ and :3 a sewgeant uWu in x3 the :3 way, 
>_< Hath ^.^ he nyot reason to turn back >w< an >_> houw uWu in :3 a >w< day? 

^.^ We-entew UwU WUCIANyA with :3 a >_< puwse 

ADWIANyA. ^w^ Go, ^w^ Dwomio, there's x3 the ;;w;; monyey; UwU beaw >w< it stwaight, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing >w< thy >_< mastew ^.^ home immediately. 
^.^ Come, x3 sistew; UwU I ^w^ am OwO pwess'd down with >_< conceit- 
Conceit, x3 my uWu comfowt ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< injuwy. 
<Exeunt 


>w< SCENyE uWu 3 

uWu The mart 

Entew :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE 

:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> Thewe's nyot :3 a x3 man UwU I :3 meet >_> but xDD doth OwO sawute ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As >_> if UwU I :3 wewe uWu theiw x3 weww-acquainted fwiend; 
xDD And every one xDD doth caww ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 my nyame. 
;;w;; Some xDD tendew monyey to uWu me, x3 some invite uWu me, 
;;w;; Some othew UwU give ;;w;; me thanks fow >w< kindnyesses, 
;;w;; Some offer ;;w;; me commodities to ^-^ buy; 
Even nyow :3 a ^w^ taiwow ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me uWu in :33 his uWu shop, 
xDD And ^w^ show'd ;;w;; me silks :3 that ^.^ he xDD had xDD bought fow uWu me, 
xDD And UwU thewewithaw >_> took UwU measuwe of x3 my body. 
Sure, these OwO awe >_> but imaginary ÚwÚ wiwes, 
xDD And Wapwand sorcerers ;;w;; inhabit hewe. 

Entew DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE 

DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ Mastew, hewe's x3 the gowd xDD you sent ;;w;; me 
;;w;; fow. What, uWu have xDD you ^w^ got x3 the ^-^ pictuwe of ;;w;; owd Adam new-apparell'd? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> What gowd >_> is :3 this? >_> What Adam dost xDD thou ^.^ mean? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that Adam :3 that :33 kept x3 the Paradise, 
>_> but :3 that Adam :3 that keeps x3 the prison; ^.^ he :3 that xDD goes uWu in x3 the 
calf's uWu skin :3 that UwU was kill'd fow x3 the OwO Pwodigaw; ^.^ he :3 that ^-^ came x3 behind 
UwU you, ^w^ siw, ^.^ wike >w< an eviw ^-^ angew, ÚwÚ and bid xDD you ^w^ fowsake x3 youw OwO wibewty. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I understand uWu thee not. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu Nyo? Why, UwU 'tis :3 a uWu pwain :3 case: ^.^ he :3 that 
OwO went, ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ bass-viow, uWu in :3 a case of :3 weathew; x3 the ^w^ man, ^w^ siw, 
:3 that, when gentlemen OwO awe tiwed, ;;w;; gives them :3 a ^.^ sob, ÚwÚ and xDD west 
OwO them; xDD he, ^w^ siw, :3 that UwU takes pity on ÚwÚ decayed men, ÚwÚ and UwU give 
them ^w^ suits of duwance; ^.^ he :3 that :33 sets x3 up :33 his xDD west to UwU do ^.^ mowe 
exploits with :33 his UwU mace than :3 a UwU mowwis-pike. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. What, xDD thou x3 mean'st >w< an ÚwÚ officew? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Ay, ^w^ siw, x3 the sewgeant of x3 the >_> band; 
:3 that >_< bwings xDD any x3 man to answew >w< it :3 that >_< bweaks :33 his >_> band; on 
:3 that ^w^ thinks :3 a x3 man awways x3 going to ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; says >w< 'God UwU give 
xDD you ÚwÚ good uWu west!' 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, there xDD west uWu in x3 youw UwU foowewy. Is 
there xDD any ship puts fowth :3 to-nyight? ^-^ May ^.^ we be gone? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Why, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ bwought xDD you ;;w;; wowd >w< an 
>_> houw xDD since :3 that x3 the >_< bawk :33 Expedition put fowth to-nyight; ÚwÚ and 
xDD then :3 wewe xDD you hind'red ^.^ by x3 the UwU sewgeant, to ^.^ tawwy fow x3 the 
;;w;; boy Delay. :3 Hewe OwO awe x3 the ^-^ angews :3 that xDD you sent fow to ÚwÚ dewivew OwO you. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu The fewwow >_> is ^.^ distwact, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^w^ am x3 I; 
xDD And OwO hewe ^.^ we >w< wandew uWu in uWu iwwusions. 
;;w;; Some blessed powew ÚwÚ dewivew >_> us from UwU hence! 

Entew :3 a x3 COUWTEZAN 

COUWTEZAN. Weww :3 met, weww :3 met, >_< Mastew OwO Antiphowus. 
UwU I see, ^w^ siw, xDD you uWu have >_> found x3 the gowdsmith now. 
Is :3 that x3 the uWu chain xDD you pwomis'd ;;w;; me >w< to-day? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Satan, >_< avoid! UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, tempt ;;w;; me not. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ Mastew, >_> is ÚwÚ this Mistress x3 Satan? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the deviw. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Nyay, ^.^ she >_> is ^-^ wowse, ^.^ she >_> is x3 the >_> deviw's 
:33 dam, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ^.^ she x3 comes uWu in x3 the OwO habit of :3 a >w< wight ^.^ wench; ÚwÚ and 
thereof x3 comes :3 that x3 the UwU wenches >_> say >w< 'God damn UwU me!' >w< That's 
>_< as much to >_> say >w< 'God >_< make ;;w;; me :3 a >w< wight ^-^ wench!' ^.^ It >_> is ÚwÚ wwitten 
;;w;; they appeaw to ;;w;; men ^.^ wike ^-^ angews of >_> wight; >w< wight >_> is >w< an ^w^ effect 
of ^w^ fiwe, ÚwÚ and fire xDD wiww burn; ergo, >w< wight UwU wenches xDD wiww :3 buwn. 
:3 Come nyot nyeaw her. 
COUWTEZAN. uWu Youw x3 man ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe marvellous >_> mewwy, sir. 
Will xDD you OwO go with me? ^-^ We'ww mend UwU ouw dinner hewe. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ Mastew, >_> if xDD you UwU do, >_< expect spoon-meat, 
ow >_< bespeak :3 a ^-^ wong ;;w;; spoon. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Why, Dromio? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. OwO Mawwy, ^.^ he ^w^ must uWu have :3 a ^-^ wong spoon 
:3 that ^w^ must eat with x3 the deviw. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Avoid >w< then, ^w^ fiend! >_> What ^.^ teww'st xDD thou ;;w;; me of :33 supping? 
^.^ Thou awt, >_< as xDD you OwO awe all, :3 a sorceress; 
UwU I x3 conjuwe uWu thee to OwO weave ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and be ;;w;; gonye. 
COUWTEZAN. Give ;;w;; me x3 the OwO wing of >_< minye xDD you xDD had uWu at xDD dinnyew, 
:3 Ow, fow x3 my diamond, x3 the uWu chain xDD you pwomis'd, 
xDD And I'll be >w< gonye, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and nyot >_> twoubwe OwO you. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ;;w;; Some xDD deviws ^w^ ask >_> but x3 the >_> pawings of one's xDD nyaiw, 
^-^ A rush, :3 a hair, :3 a >_< dwop of bwood, :3 a :3 pin, 
^-^ A x3 nyut, :3 a :33 chewwy-stonye; 
OwO But uWu she, ^.^ mowe :33 cuvtous, ^.^ wouwd uWu have :3 a chain. 
^-^ Mastew, be OwO wise; >w< an >_> if xDD you UwU give >w< it hew, 
uWu The ^.^ deviw xDD wiww ;;w;; shake her ^w^ chain, ÚwÚ and :33 fwight >_> us with :3 it. 
COUWTEZAN. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, x3 my *hugs tightly* wing, ow >_> ewse x3 the chain; 
UwU I UwU hope xDD you UwU do nyot >_> mean to cheat ;;w;; me :3 so. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. x3 Avaunt, xDD thou :3 witch! ^.^ Come, ^w^ Dwomio, wet >_> us ÚwÚ go. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. 'Fwy OwO pwide' ;;w;; says x3 the ^w^ peacock. Mistwess, :3 that xDD you :33 knyow. 
<Exeunt :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE ÚwÚ and DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE 
COUWTEZAN. >_> Nyow, x3 out of doubt, Antipholus >_> is mad, 
^-^ Ewse ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he >_< nyevew UwU so ÚwÚ demean himself. 
^-^ A OwO wing ^.^ he hath of >_< minye ^.^ wowth >w< fowty OwO ducats, 
xDD And fow x3 the same ^.^ he pwomis'd ;;w;; me :3 a chain; 
UwU Both one ÚwÚ and othew ^.^ he denyies ;;w;; me now. 
uWu The reason :3 that UwU I gathew ^.^ he >_> is mad, 
Besides ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent uWu instance of :33 his rage, 
Is :3 a ^-^ mad xDD tawe ^.^ he told ^w^ to-day uWu at dinner 
Of :33 his UwU own x3 doows ^.^ being shut OwO against :33 his x3 entwance. 
ÚwÚ Bewike :33 his :3 wife, >_> acquainted with :33 his fits, 
On OwO puwpose shut x3 the x3 doows OwO against :33 his >_> way. 
OwO My uWu way >_> is nyow to hie ^.^ home to :33 his house, 
xDD And tell :33 his >w< wife :3 that, ^.^ being lunatic, 
>w< He uWu wush'd x3 into x3 my ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and >_> took ^.^ pewfowce 
OwO My OwO wing xDD away. This course UwU I OwO fittest UwU choose, 
For >w< fowty ;;w;; ducats >_> is ^w^ too much to uWu wose. 
;;w;; <Exit 


>w< SCENyE UwU 4 

^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS with x3 the OFFICEW 

:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Fear ;;w;; me >_> nyot, xDD man; UwU I xDD wiww nyot bweak xDD away. 
I'll UwU give ÚwÚ thee, ere UwU I OwO weave ÚwÚ thee, UwU so much monyey, 
;;w;; To :33 wawwant ÚwÚ thee, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am 'wested ;;w;; fow. 
OwO My >w< wife >_> is uWu in :3 a :33 waywawd ^w^ mood uWu to-day, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot >w< wightwy :33 twust x3 the :3 messengew. 
:33 That UwU I >_> shouwd be >_< attach'd uWu in Ephesus, 
UwU I tell xDD you 'twill >_> sound ÚwÚ hawshwy uWu in her x3 caws. 

Entew DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF :3 EPHESUS, with :3 a rope's-end 

:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my xDD man; UwU I think ^.^ he >_< bwings x3 the money. 
How now, sir! :3 Have xDD you :3 that UwU I sent xDD you for? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> Hewe's :3 that, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, xDD wiww x3 pay them all. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. OwO But where's x3 the monyey? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Why, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu gave x3 the monyey fow x3 the ^w^ wope. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. :3 Five :3 hundwed OwO ducats, villain, fow wope? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. I'll serve UwU you, ^w^ siw, five :3 hundwed uWu at x3 the UwU wate. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ;;w;; To >_> what >w< end uWu did UwU I bid uWu thee hie uWu thee ^w^ home? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ;;w;; To :3 a ;;w;; wope's-end, siw; ÚwÚ and to :3 that >w< end ^w^ am UwU I 
;;w;; wetuwn'd. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. xDD And to :3 that ^w^ end, ^w^ siw, UwU I xDD wiww wewcome OwO you. 
UwU [Beating >w< him] 
:3 OFFICEW. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, be uWu patient. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Nyay, UwU 'tis fow ;;w;; me to be UwU patient; UwU I ^w^ am uWu in 
^w^ advewsity. 
:3 OFFICEW. ^-^ Good now, howd >w< thy :33 tongue. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Nyay, rather :33 pewsuade ^.^ him to howd :33 his ^w^ hands. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^.^ Thou whoweson, senseless :33 viwwain! 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe >_< sensewess, ^w^ siw, :3 that UwU I 
^w^ might nyot x3 feew x3 youw ÚwÚ bwows. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^.^ Thou awt ^-^ sensibwe uWu in >_< nyothing >_> but 
ÚwÚ bwows, ÚwÚ and UwU so >_> is >w< an ass. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I ^w^ am >w< an >w< ass :33 indeed; xDD you OwO may ^-^ pwuv >w< it 
^.^ by x3 my ^-^ wong 'ears. UwU I uWu have OwO sewved ^.^ him from x3 the >_> houw of x3 my 
:3 nyativity to ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ instant, ÚwÚ and uWu have >_< nyothing uWu at :33 his ^.^ hands fow 
x3 my OwO sewvice >_> but ÚwÚ bwows. x3 When UwU I ^w^ am UwU cowd ^.^ he xDD heats ;;w;; me with 
xDD beating; when UwU I ^w^ am wawm ^.^ he UwU coows ;;w;; me with >_> beating. UwU I ^w^ am 
>_< wak'd with >w< it when UwU I ^w^ sweep; >_> wais'd with >w< it when UwU I ^.^ sit; driven 
x3 out of x3 doows with >w< it when UwU I OwO go from ÚwÚ home; welcom'd ^.^ home 
with >w< it when UwU I OwO wetuwn; x3 nyay, UwU I UwU beaw >w< it on x3 my ^w^ shouwdews >_< as 
beggar UwU wont her bwat; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_< think, when ^.^ he hath wam'd uWu me, 
UwU I UwU shaww ÚwÚ beg with >w< it from doow to UwU doow. 

Entew x3 ADWIANyA, x3 WUCIANyA, x3 the uWu COUWTEZAN, ÚwÚ and :3 a OwO SCHOOWMASTEW 
^w^ caww'd ^w^ PINCH 

:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^.^ Come, OwO go along; x3 my >w< wife >_> is xDD coming ^.^ yondew. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Mistwess, 'respice :3 finyem,' wespect x3 youw ^w^ end; ow 
UwU wathew, to >w< pwophesy ^.^ wike x3 the parrot, :33 'Bewawe x3 the >w< wope's-end.' 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou still talk? 
UwU [Beating >w< him] 
COUWTEZAN. How >_> say xDD you ^.^ nyow? Is nyot x3 youw :33 husband uWu mad? 
ADWIANyA. ÚwÚ His OwO inciviwity confirms nyo :3 wess. 
^-^ Good uWu Doctow UwU Pinch, xDD you OwO awe :3 a conjurer: 
Estabwish ^.^ him uWu in :33 his true sense OwO again, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww uWu pwease xDD you >_> what xDD you xDD wiww >_> demand. 
:33 WUCIANyA. ÚwÚ Awas, >w< how fiery ÚwÚ and >w< how ^-^ shawp ^.^ he OwO wooks! 
COUWTEZAN. >_> Mawk >w< how ^.^ he trembles uWu in :33 his ^.^ ecstasy. 
UwU PINCH. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me x3 feew x3 youw ^-^ puwse. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> Thewe >_> is x3 my uWu hand, ÚwÚ and wet >w< it x3 feew x3 youw :3 eaw. 
>_< [Stwiking >w< him] 
UwU PINCH. UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, Satan, ÚwÚ hous'd within ÚwÚ this ^w^ man, 
;;w;; To yield >w< possession to x3 my >w< howy pwayews, 
xDD And to >w< thy >w< state of >w< dawknyess hie uWu thee stwaight. 
UwU I x3 conjuwe uWu thee ^.^ by aww x3 the ^-^ saints uWu in UwU heaven. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. uWu Peace, >_< doting ^w^ wizawd, peace! UwU I ^w^ am nyot >_> mad. 
ADWIANyA. >_< O, :3 that xDD thou OwO wewt >_> nyot, poor distwessed souw! 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >_> You ÚwÚ minyion, UwU you, OwO awe these x3 youw uWu customews? 
Did ÚwÚ this >_< companyion with x3 the x3 saffwon OwO face 
>_< Wevew ÚwÚ and >_> feast >w< it uWu at x3 my ;;w;; house uWu to-day, 
Whilst ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me x3 the guiwty x3 doows :3 wewe ^w^ shut, 
xDD And UwU I >w< denyied to enter uWu in x3 my >_> house? 
ADWIANyA. x3 O ^.^ husband, ^w^ God xDD doth ^.^ knyow xDD you ÚwÚ din'd uWu at ^.^ home, 
Whewe ^.^ wouwd xDD you xDD had >w< wemain'd ÚwÚ untiw ÚwÚ this time, 
Fwee from these UwU swandews ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this open x3 shame! 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. uWu Din'd uWu at x3 home! ^.^ Thou villain, >_> what sayest thou? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU Siw, :33 Sooth to say, xDD you uWu did nyot ÚwÚ dinye uWu at >_> home. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^.^ Wewe nyot x3 my x3 doows :3 wock'd x3 up ÚwÚ and UwU I shut out? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^w^ Pewdie, x3 youw x3 doows :3 wewe :3 wock'd ÚwÚ and xDD you shut OwO out. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. xDD And uWu did nyot ^.^ she herself :3 weviwe ;;w;; me OwO thewe? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. x3 Sans UwU fabwe, ^.^ she herself ÚwÚ weviw'd xDD you :33 thewe. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Did nyot her x3 kitchen-maid ^.^ waiw, taunt, ÚwÚ and ^w^ scown me? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. OwO Cewtes, ^.^ she ^.^ did; x3 the OwO kitchen-vestaw >_< scown'd OwO you. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. xDD And uWu did nyot UwU I uWu in xDD wage ÚwÚ depawt from :3 thence? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^w^ In verity, xDD you ^.^ did. OwO My bones UwU beaw ^.^ witnyess, 
:33 That xDD since uWu have UwU fewt x3 the >_< vigouw of :33 his x3 wage. 
ADWIANyA. ^-^ Is't ÚwÚ good to x3 soothe ^.^ him uWu in these contraries? 
UwU PINCH. ^.^ It >_> is nyo OwO shame; x3 the fewwow ÚwÚ finds :33 his ^-^ vein, 
^.^ And, yiewding to :3 him, humours weww :33 his fwenzy. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^.^ Thou x3 hast >_< subown'd x3 the gowdsmith to ;;w;; awwest x3 me. 
ADWIANyA. ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I sent xDD you monyey to xDD wedeem UwU you, 
^-^ By Dromio UwU hewe, who ^-^ came uWu in ^.^ haste fow :3 it. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Money ^.^ by me! Heart ÚwÚ and ;;w;; goodwiww xDD you xDD might, 
OwO But UwU suwewy, ^.^ mastew, nyot :3 a rag of money. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Went'st nyot xDD thou to her fow >_< puwse of xDD ducats? 
ADWIANyA. >w< He ^-^ came to uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 dewivew'd :3 it. 
:33 WUCIANyA. xDD And UwU I ^w^ am >_> witnyess with her :3 that ^.^ she ^.^ did. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^w^ God ÚwÚ and x3 the rope-maker UwU beaw ;;w;; me >_> witnyess 
:33 That UwU I UwU was sent fow >_< nyothing >_> but :3 a ;;w;; wope! 
UwU PINCH. Mistwess, both x3 man ÚwÚ and >_< mastew >_> is possess'd; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it ^.^ by uWu theiw pawe ÚwÚ and deadwy OwO wooks. 
^-^ They ^w^ must be xDD bound, ÚwÚ and laid uWu in x3 some dark uWu woom. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Say, ^-^ whewefowe :33 didst xDD thou OwO wock ;;w;; me fowth >w< to-day? 
xDD And >w< why dost xDD thou UwU deny x3 the ^-^ bag of UwU gowd? 
ADWIANyA. UwU I uWu did >_> nyot, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ husband, OwO wock uWu thee forth. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^.^ And, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ mastew, UwU I weceiv'd nyo x3 gowd; 
OwO But UwU I >_> confess, ^w^ siw, :3 that ^.^ we :3 wewe :3 wock'd OwO out. 
ADWIANyA. ^.^ Dissembwing villain, xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st UwU fawse uWu in xDD both. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^.^ Dissembwing harlot, xDD thou awt UwU fawse uWu in all, 
xDD And awt >_< confedewate with :3 a uWu damnyed OwO pack 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a woathsome abject ^w^ scown of OwO me; 
OwO But with these >_< nyaiws I'll pluck x3 out these UwU fawse eyes 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd behowd uWu in ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this >_> shamefuw ;;w;; spowt. 
ADWIANyA. >_< O, bind :3 him, bind him; wet ^.^ him nyot come nyeaw x3 me. 
UwU PINCH. uWu Mowe ;;w;; company! uWu The >_< fiend >_> is >w< stwong within ^.^ him. 

Entew >w< thwee ow >w< fouw, ÚwÚ and offer to bind ^.^ him. >w< He :3 stwives 

:33 WUCIANyA. uWu Ay uWu me, poor ^w^ man, >w< how pawe ÚwÚ and wan ^.^ he OwO wooks! 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. What, xDD wiww xDD you murder me? ^.^ Thou UwU gaowew, UwU thou, 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy ^w^ pwisonyew. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou suffew them 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a ^.^ wescue? 
:3 OFFICEW. Masters, wet ^.^ him go; 
>w< He >_> is x3 my pwisonyew, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww nyot uWu have ^.^ him. 
UwU PINCH. Go bind ÚwÚ this ^w^ man, fow ^.^ he >_> is frantic UwU too. 
^w^ [They bind DROMIO] 
ADWIANyA. >_> What wiwt xDD thou UwU do, xDD thou >_> peevish ÚwÚ officew? 
Hast xDD thou delight to >_> see :3 a wwetched x3 man 
Do outrage ÚwÚ and >_< dispweasuwe to :33 himsewf? 
:3 OFFICEW. >w< He >_> is x3 my prisoner; >_> if UwU I wet ^.^ him x3 go, 
uWu The >_> debt ^.^ he >_> owes xDD wiww be requir'd of x3 me. 
ADWIANyA. UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; dischawge uWu thee ere UwU I OwO go from ÚwÚ thee; 
ÚwÚ Beaw ;;w;; me ÚwÚ fowthwith >w< unto :33 his :3 cweditow, 
^.^ And, x3 knyowing >w< how x3 the >_> debt >_> gwows, UwU I xDD wiww x3 pay :3 it. 
^-^ Good >_< Mastew ÚwÚ Doctow, >_> see ^.^ him >_< safe ;;w;; convey'd 
x3 Home to x3 my ÚwÚ house. x3 O UwU most xDD unhappy ^.^ day! 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. x3 O UwU most xDD unhappy stwumpet! 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^-^ Mastew, UwU I ^w^ am OwO hewe ^w^ ent'wed uWu in :3 bond fow OwO you. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU Out on ÚwÚ thee, OwO viwwian! ÚwÚ Whewefowe 
dost xDD thou ^-^ mad me? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Will xDD you be bound fow nyothing? 
^w^ Be mad, ÚwÚ good mastew; cwy 'The ^w^ deviw!' 
:33 WUCIANyA. ^w^ God hewp, poor souws, >w< how idly UwU do ;;w;; they :33 tawk! 
ADWIANyA. Go UwU beaw ^.^ him x3 hence. x3 Sistew, OwO go xDD you with x3 me. 
<Exeunt aww >_> but x3 ADWIANyA, x3 WUCIANyA, ^w^ OFFICEWS, ÚwÚ and x3 COUWTEZAN 
x3 Say now, x3 whose >_> suit >_> is ^.^ he awwested at? 
:3 OFFICEW. x3 Onye ^w^ Angewo, :3 a x3 gowdsmith; UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow him? 
ADWIANyA. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the man. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< sum ^.^ he ÚwÚ owes? 
:3 OFFICEW. Two :3 hundwed xDD ducats. 
ADWIANyA. Say, >w< how gwows >w< it :3 due? 
:3 OFFICEW. >_> Due fow :3 a uWu chain x3 youw :33 husband xDD had of ^.^ him. 
ADWIANyA. >w< He uWu did >_< bespeak :3 a uWu chain fow uWu me, >_> but xDD had >w< it not. 
COUWTEZAN. x3 When >_< as x3 youw ^.^ husband, aww uWu in rage, ^w^ to-day 
>_< Came to x3 my house, ÚwÚ and >_> took OwO away x3 my x3 wing- 
uWu The OwO wing UwU I saw ;;w;; upon :33 his finger x3 nyow- 
UwU Stwaight ÚwÚ aftew uWu did UwU I :3 meet ^.^ him with :3 a chain. 
ADWIANyA. ^.^ It OwO may be >_> so, >_> but UwU I uWu did >_< nyevew >_> see :3 it. 
^.^ Come, UwU gaowew, ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me :3 whewe x3 the gowdsmith is; 
UwU I ^-^ wong to ^.^ knyow x3 the uWu twuth ^-^ heweof uWu at >_> wawge. 

Entew :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >_< SYWACUSE, with :33 his rapier x3 dwawn, ÚwÚ and 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. 

:33 WUCIANyA. :33 God, fow >w< thy mercy! ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; woose ;;w;; again. 
ADWIANyA. xDD And come with nyaked :3 swowds. 
:3 Wet's caww ^.^ mowe OwO hewp to uWu have them bound ;;w;; again. 
:3 OFFICEW. :33 Away, they'ww OwO kiww ÚwÚ us! 
<Exeunt aww >_> but :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE ÚwÚ and 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as OwO may be, frighted 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I >_> see these :3 witches OwO awe :33 afwaid of :3 swowds. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :33 She :3 that ^.^ wouwd be x3 youw >w< wife nyow wan from OwO you. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Come to x3 the Centaur; :3 fetch UwU ouw ^w^ stuff from ^w^ thence. 
UwU I ^-^ wong :3 that ^.^ we :3 wewe >_< safe ÚwÚ and >_> sound UwU aboawd. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Faith, xDD stay OwO hewe ÚwÚ this ^w^ nyight; ;;w;; they xDD wiww 
x3 suwewy UwU do >_> us nyo harm; xDD you saw ;;w;; they speak >_> us faiw, UwU give >_> us 
x3 gowd; uWu methinks ;;w;; they OwO awe xDD such :3 a ^-^ gentwe nation :3 that, >_> but fow 
x3 the OwO mountain of ^-^ mad >w< fwesh :3 that claims ^.^ mawwiage of uWu me, 
couwd find uWu in x3 my >_< heawt to xDD stay OwO hewe still ÚwÚ and turn witch. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I xDD wiww nyot xDD stay ^.^ to-nyight fow aww x3 the xDD town; 
Therefore away, to get UwU ouw ^w^ stuff UwU aboawd. 
<Exeunt 


^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

^-^ A :3 stweet >w< befowe :3 a >_> pwiowy 

Entew ^w^ SECOND >w< MEWCHANT ÚwÚ and ANGEWO 

OwO ANGEWO. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy, ^w^ siw, :3 that UwU I uWu have hind'red uWu you; 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ pwotest ^.^ he xDD had x3 the uWu chain of uWu me, 
;;w;; Though UwU most OwO dishonyestwy ^.^ he xDD doth UwU deny :3 it. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. How >_> is x3 the x3 man esteem'd OwO hewe uWu in x3 the ^-^ city? 
OwO ANGEWO. Of xDD vewy reverend weputation, ^w^ siw, 
Of cwedit infinite, ;;w;; highwy bewov'd, 
^w^ Second to >_< nyonye :3 that ;;w;; wives OwO hewe uWu in x3 the >_> city; 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; wowd ^w^ might UwU beaw x3 my weawth uWu at xDD any uWu time. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. ^w^ Speak ^w^ softwy; :33 yondew, >_< as UwU I >_< think, ^.^ he wawks. 

Entew :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE ÚwÚ and DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE 

OwO ANGEWO. 'Tis so; ÚwÚ and :3 that self uWu chain about :33 his x3 nyeck 
>_< Which ^.^ he fowswowe UwU most monstrously to :3 have. 
^-^ Good ^w^ siw, dwaw nyeaw to uWu me, I'll speak to ^.^ him. 
:33 Signyiow :33 Andphowus, UwU I wonder much 
:33 That xDD you ^.^ wouwd put ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ this ^-^ shame ÚwÚ and ^w^ twoubwe; 
^.^ And, nyot ^-^ without x3 some OwO scandaw to yourself, 
With circumstance ÚwÚ and >w< oaths UwU so to UwU deny 
This ^w^ chain, which nyow xDD you ^-^ weaw UwU so openwy. 
ÚwÚ Beside x3 the charge, x3 the UwU shame, ^w^ impwisonment, 
>_> You uWu have donye wrong to ÚwÚ this x3 my xDD honyest fwiend; 
UwU Who, >_> but fow ^.^ staying on UwU ouw controversy, 
xDD Had hoisted saiw ÚwÚ and put to sea ^w^ to-day. 
This uWu chain xDD you xDD had of OwO me; ^.^ can xDD you UwU deny :33 it? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I think UwU I uWu had; UwU I >_< nyevew uWu did UwU deny :3 it. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. Yes, :3 that xDD you ^-^ did, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and fowswowe >w< it UwU too. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Who heard ;;w;; me to UwU deny >w< it ow >w< fowsweaw :33 it? 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. ;;w;; These OwO eaws of >_> minye, xDD thou >_> knyow'st, uWu did hear thee. 
>w< Fie on ÚwÚ thee, OwO wwetch! UwU 'tis pity :3 that xDD thou x3 wiv'st 
;;w;; To UwU wawk :3 whewe xDD any xDD honyest ;;w;; men resort. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a viwwain to x3 impeach ;;w;; me ^.^ thus; 
I'll ^-^ pwuv >_< minye honour ÚwÚ and >_< minye honesty 
^w^ Against uWu thee pwesentwy, >_> if xDD thou ^w^ daw'st ^.^ stand. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. UwU I x3 dawe, ÚwÚ and UwU do ^.^ defy uWu thee fow :3 a villain. 
^w^ [They draw] 

Entew x3 ADWIANyA, x3 WUCIANyA, x3 the uWu COUWTEZAN, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; OTHEWS 

ADWIANyA. UwU Howd, ÚwÚ huwt ^.^ him >_> nyot, fow >_> God's uWu sake! >w< He >_> is >_> mad. 
;;w;; Some get within :3 him, OwO take :33 his xDD swowd :3 away; 
Bind Dromio :3 too, ÚwÚ and UwU beaw them to x3 my ÚwÚ house. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. Run, ^.^ mastew, run; fow >_> God's ÚwÚ sake OwO take :3 a ÚwÚ house. 
This >_> is x3 some pwiowy. ÚwÚ In, ow ^.^ we OwO awe >w< spoiw'd. 
<Exeunt :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE ÚwÚ and DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE to x3 the >_> pwiowy 

Entew x3 the :3 WADY ^-^ ABBESS 

ABBESS. ^w^ Be ^w^ quiet, ^-^ peopwe. ÚwÚ Whewefowe :33 thwong xDD you uWu hithew? 
ADWIANyA. ;;w;; To :3 fetch x3 my poor distracted :33 husband x3 hence. 
Let >_> us come x3 in, :3 that ^.^ we OwO may bind ^.^ him OwO fast, 
xDD And UwU beaw ^.^ him ^.^ home fow :33 his OwO wecuvwy. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I UwU knyew ^.^ he UwU was nyot uWu in :33 his :3 pewfect wits. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy nyow :3 that UwU I uWu did dwaw on ^.^ him. 
ABBESS. How ^-^ wong hath ÚwÚ this >w< possession hewd x3 the man? 
ADWIANyA. This >_< week ^.^ he hath :33 been >_< heavy, sour, :3 sad, 
xDD And much different from x3 the x3 man ^.^ he OwO was; 
OwO But >w< tiww ÚwÚ this >_< aftewnyoon :33 his passion 
Nye'ew bwake x3 into extremity of x3 wage. 
ABBESS. >_< Hath ^.^ he nyot wost much weawth ^.^ by wreck of ^-^ sea? 
Buried x3 some uWu deaw >w< fwiend? >_< Hath nyot >_> ewse :33 his ^w^ eye 
Stray'd :33 his :3 affection uWu in unwawfuw love? 
^-^ A x3 sin prevailing much uWu in youthfuw ;;w;; men 
Who UwU give uWu theiw eyes x3 the ^w^ wibewty of >_< gazing. 
>_< Which of these ^w^ sowwows >_> is ^.^ he x3 subject to? 
ADWIANyA. ;;w;; To >_< nyonye of OwO these, :33 except >w< it be x3 the last; 
uWu Nyamewy, x3 some wuv :3 that >w< dwew ^.^ him ;;w;; oft from >_> home. 
ABBESS. >_> You >_> shouwd fow :3 that uWu have reprehended ^.^ him. 
ADWIANyA. Why, UwU so UwU I ^.^ did. 
ABBESS. Ay, >_> but nyot OwO wough enyough. 
ADWIANyA. ;;w;; As roughly >_< as x3 my ÚwÚ modesty ^.^ wouwd wet x3 me. 
ABBESS. Haply uWu in >_> pwivate. 
ADWIANyA. xDD And uWu in assemblies UwU too. 
ABBESS. Ay, >_> but nyot enyough. 
ADWIANyA. ^.^ It UwU was x3 the copy of UwU ouw conference. 
^w^ In ^.^ bed, ^.^ he slept nyot fow x3 my ÚwÚ uwging uWu it; 
At board, ^.^ he ÚwÚ fed nyot fow x3 my ÚwÚ uwging uWu it; 
Awonye, >w< it UwU was x3 the x3 subject of x3 my >w< theme; 
^w^ In xDD company, UwU I often glanced uWu it; 
UwU Stiww uWu did UwU I tell ^.^ him >w< it UwU was ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ and bad. 
ABBESS. xDD And thereof ^-^ came >w< it :3 that x3 the x3 man UwU was >_> mad. 
uWu The ;;w;; venyom clamours of :3 a jealous OwO woman 
Poisons ^.^ mowe deadwy than :3 a ^-^ mad :3 dog's xDD tooth. 
^.^ It ;;w;; seems :33 his sweeps :3 wewe hind'red ^.^ by >w< thy railing, 
xDD And thereof x3 comes >w< it :3 that :33 his >_> head >_> is light. 
^.^ Thou say'st :33 his :3 meat UwU was :33 sauc'd with >w< thy upbwaidings: 
x3 Unquiet ^w^ meaws >_< make :33 iww digestions; 
uWu Theweof x3 the waging fire of x3 fevew ^.^ bwed; 
xDD And UwU what's :3 a x3 fevew >_> but :3 a ;;w;; fit of madness? 
^.^ Thou say'st :33 his ÚwÚ spowts :3 wewe hind'red ^.^ by >w< thy bwawws. 
ÚwÚ Sweet recreation ^w^ baww'd, >_> what xDD doth ensue 
OwO But moody ÚwÚ and dull UwU mewanchowy, 
Kinsman to gwim ÚwÚ and comfowtwess ÚwÚ despaiw, 
xDD And uWu at her heels :3 a >_> huge xDD infectious troop 
Of pawe x3 distempewatuwes ÚwÚ and ^-^ foes to :33 wife? 
^w^ In ^w^ food, uWu in sport, ÚwÚ and :3 wife-pwesewving ^-^ west, 
;;w;; To be distuwb'd ^.^ wouwd ^-^ mad ow x3 man ow beast. 
uWu The >_> consequence ;;w;; is, >w< then, >w< thy jealous ^w^ fits 
>_< Hath x3 scaw'd >w< thy :33 husband from x3 the use of wits. 
:33 WUCIANyA. :33 She >_< nyevew reprehended ^.^ him >_> but ÚwÚ miwdwy, 
x3 When ^.^ he OwO demean'd >_< himsewf wough, OwO wude, ÚwÚ and uWu wiwdwy. 
Why UwU beaw xDD you these rebukes, ÚwÚ and answew ^w^ nyot? 
ADWIANyA. :33 She uWu did ÚwÚ betway ;;w;; me to x3 my UwU own reproof. 
^-^ Good >_> peopwe, ÚwÚ entew, ÚwÚ and uWu way howd on ^.^ him. 
ABBESS. :3 Nyo, nyot :3 a creature ;;w;; entews uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ house. 
ADWIANyA. UwU Then wet x3 youw :3 sewvants ;;w;; bwing x3 my :33 husband forth. 
ABBESS. :3 Nyeithew; ^.^ he >_> took ÚwÚ this :33 pwace fow ^w^ sanctuawy, 
xDD And >w< it UwU shaww OwO pwiviwege ^.^ him from x3 youw ^.^ hands 
Tiww UwU I uWu have ^.^ bwought ^.^ him to :33 his :33 wits OwO again, 
:33 Ow wose x3 my labour uWu in assaying :3 it. 
ADWIANyA. UwU I xDD wiww >_< attend x3 my ^.^ husband, be :33 his xDD nyuwse, 
xDD Diet :33 his :3 sicknyess, fow >w< it >_> is x3 my office, 
xDD And xDD wiww uWu have nyo ^.^ attownyey >_> but >_< mysewf; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe wet ;;w;; me uWu have ^.^ him ^.^ home with x3 me. 
ABBESS. ^w^ Be UwU patient; fow UwU I xDD wiww nyot wet ^.^ him stir 
Tiww UwU I uWu have ;;w;; us'd x3 the appwuvd means UwU I have, 
With whowesome syrups, dwugs, ÚwÚ and >w< howy pwayews, 
;;w;; To >_< make of ^.^ him :3 a formal x3 man ;;w;; again. 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a branch ÚwÚ and parcel of >_< minye ;;w;; oath, 
^-^ A x3 chawitabwe >_> duty of x3 my ;;w;; owdew; 
Therefore depart, ÚwÚ and OwO weave ^.^ him OwO hewe with x3 me. 
ADWIANyA. UwU I xDD wiww nyot >w< hence ÚwÚ and OwO weave x3 my :33 husband ^.^ hewe; 
xDD And :33 iww >w< it xDD doth >_> beseem x3 youw howinyess 
;;w;; To separate x3 the :33 husband ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 wife. 
ABBESS. ^w^ Be ^w^ quiet, ÚwÚ and uWu depawt; xDD thou shalt nyot uWu have ^.^ him. 
;;w;; <Exit 
:33 WUCIANyA. ÚwÚ Compwain >w< unto x3 the >w< Duke of ÚwÚ this indignity. 
ADWIANyA. ^.^ Come, go; UwU I xDD wiww faww x3 pwostwate uWu at :33 his ^.^ feet, 
xDD And >_< nyevew rise ÚwÚ untiw x3 my tears ÚwÚ and >_< pwayews 
:3 Have ^.^ won :33 his Gwace to come uWu in ÚwÚ pewson ÚwÚ hithew 
xDD And OwO take ^.^ pewfowce x3 my :33 husband from x3 the ÚwÚ Abbess. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. ^-^ By uWu this, UwU I >_< think, x3 the OwO diaw x3 points uWu at ^.^ five; 
;;w;; Anyon, >w< I'm x3 suwe, x3 the >w< Duke >_< himsewf uWu in ÚwÚ pewson 
UwU Comes ÚwÚ this uWu way to x3 the ^-^ mewanchowy :3 vawe, 
uWu The :33 pwace of :33 death ÚwÚ and sowwy execution, 
UwU Behind x3 the UwU ditches of x3 the >_> abbey hewe. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> Upon >_> what ^w^ cause? 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. ;;w;; To >_> see :3 a reverend Syracusian OwO mewchant, 
Who put xDD unwuckiwy x3 into ÚwÚ this ^w^ bay 
^w^ Against x3 the UwU waws ÚwÚ and x3 statutes of ÚwÚ this xDD town, 
^.^ Beheaded ÚwÚ pubwicwy fow :33 his OwO offence. 
OwO ANGEWO. xDD See :3 whewe ;;w;; they >_< come; ^.^ we xDD wiww behowd :33 his death. 
:33 WUCIANyA. >_> Knyeew to x3 the >w< Duke >w< befowe ^.^ he pass x3 the ÚwÚ abbey. 

Entew x3 the ^w^ DUKE, ^.^ attended; AEGEON, UwU baweheaded; 
with x3 the OwO HEADSMAN ÚwÚ and othew OFFICEWS 

x3 DUKE. ÚwÚ Yet >_> once again :3 pwocwaim >w< it pubwicwy, 
;;w;; If xDD any :33 fwiend xDD wiww x3 pay x3 the >w< sum fow :3 him, 
>w< He UwU shaww nyot :3 die; UwU so much ^.^ we xDD tendew ^.^ him. 
ADWIANyA. x3 Justice, UwU most uWu sacwed ;;w;; Duke, OwO against x3 the >_> Abbess! 
x3 DUKE. :33 She >_> is :3 a virtuous ÚwÚ and :3 a reverend ;;w;; wady; 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be :3 that ^.^ she hath donye uWu thee wrong. 
ADWIANyA. ^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, Antipholus, x3 my ^.^ husband, 
Who UwU I UwU made ;;w;; wowd of ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and aww UwU I xDD had 
At x3 youw important >w< wettews-this :33 iww day 
^-^ A UwU most :3 outwageous ;;w;; fit of ^-^ madnyess >_> took :3 him, 
:33 That desp'watewy ^.^ he ^.^ huwwied ^w^ thwough x3 the stweet, 
With ^.^ him :33 his :3 bondman aww >_< as ^-^ mad >_< as xDD he, 
:33 Doing >_< dispweasuwe to x3 the :3 citizens 
^-^ By uWu wushing uWu in uWu theiw ^-^ houses, :33 beawing thence 
:33 Wings, jewews, ;;w;; anything :33 his xDD wage uWu did >_> wike. 
Once uWu did UwU I get ^.^ him bound ÚwÚ and sent ^.^ him ^.^ home, 
Whilst to OwO take order fow x3 the >_< wwongs UwU I OwO went, 
:33 That OwO hewe ÚwÚ and there :33 his UwU fuwy xDD had :33 committed. 
;;w;; Anyon, UwU I uWu wot nyot ^.^ by >_> what >w< stwong >_< escape, 
>w< He broke from UwU those :3 that xDD had x3 the xDD guawd of :3 him, 
xDD And with :33 his ^-^ mad x3 attendant ÚwÚ and himsewf, 
x3 Each one with iwefuw ^-^ passion, with drawn swowds, 
Met >_> us again x3 and, madly UwU bent on us, 
Chas'd >_> us :3 away; ^w^ tiww, uWu waising of ^.^ mowe ^w^ aid, 
We ^-^ came again to bind OwO them. UwU Then ;;w;; they ^w^ fwed 
^.^ Into ÚwÚ this :3 abbey, :33 whithew ^.^ we >_< puwsu'd OwO them; 
xDD And OwO hewe x3 the ÚwÚ Abbess x3 shuts x3 the :3 gates on us, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot suffew >_> us to :3 fetch ^.^ him ^.^ out, 
x3 Nyow >_> send ^.^ him fowth :3 that ^.^ we OwO may UwU beaw ^.^ him x3 hence. 
>_< Thewefowe, UwU most >_> gwacious ;;w;; Duke, with >w< thy ÚwÚ command 
Let ^.^ him be ^.^ bwought fowth ÚwÚ and :3 bownye >w< hence fow ;;w;; hewp. 
x3 DUKE. OwO Wong xDD since >w< thy :33 husband sewv'd ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my ^-^ waws, 
xDD And UwU I to uWu thee x3 engag'd :3 a UwU pwince's word, 
x3 When xDD thou :33 didst >_< make ^.^ him >_< mastew of >w< thy ^.^ bed, 
;;w;; To UwU do ^.^ him aww x3 the xDD gwace ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good UwU I xDD couwd. 
^w^ Go, x3 some of UwU you, :3 knyock uWu at x3 the >_> abbey >_< gate, 
xDD And bid x3 the xDD Wady ÚwÚ Abbess come to uWu me, 
UwU I xDD wiww determine ÚwÚ this >w< befowe UwU I stir. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. x3 O ^-^ mistwess, ^-^ mistwess, OwO shift ÚwÚ and :3 save youwsewf! 
OwO My >_< mastew ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 man OwO awe both broke UwU woose, 
Beaten x3 the ^w^ maids a-wow ÚwÚ and bound x3 the doctor, 
>_< Whose ^w^ beawd ;;w;; they uWu have OwO sing'd x3 off with >_> bwands of x3 fiwe; 
xDD And ever, >_< as >w< it blaz'd, ;;w;; they OwO thwew on ^.^ him 
UwU Gweat pails of ;;w;; puddwed miwe to quench x3 the >w< haiw. 
OwO My >_< mastew UwU pweaches uWu patience to :3 him, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO whiwe 
ÚwÚ His x3 man with ^.^ scissows xDD nyicks ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a foow; 
xDD And x3 suwe, ^w^ unwess xDD you >_> send x3 some xDD pwesent hewp, 
Between them ;;w;; they xDD wiww OwO kiww x3 the OwO conjuwew. 
ADWIANyA. uWu Peace, foow! >w< thy >_< mastew ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 man OwO awe UwU hewe, 
xDD And :3 that >_> is UwU fawse xDD thou dost wepowt to >_> us. 
x3 MESSENGEW. Mistwess, ;;w;; upon x3 my :3 wife, UwU I tell xDD you true; 
UwU I uWu have nyot >w< bweath'd almost xDD since UwU I uWu did >_> see :3 it. 
>w< He x3 cwies fow UwU you, ÚwÚ and ^w^ vows, >_> if ^.^ he ^.^ can OwO take UwU you, 
;;w;; To >_> scowch x3 youw >w< face, ÚwÚ and to ^w^ disfiguwe OwO you. 
x3 [Cwy ;;w;; within] 
Hawk, hark, UwU I hear :3 him, mistress; fly, be ÚwÚ gonye! 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Come, stand ^.^ by OwO me; feaw OwO nyothing. x3 Guawd with uWu hawbewds. 
ADWIANyA. uWu Ay uWu me, >w< it >_> is x3 my ÚwÚ husband! Witness xDD you 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is :3 bownye about :33 invisibwe. 
Even nyow ^.^ we ÚwÚ hous'd ^.^ him uWu in x3 the >_> abbey UwU hewe, 
xDD And nyow uWu he's thewe, x3 past xDD thought of human reason. 

Entew :3 ANTIPHOWUS OFEPHESUS ÚwÚ and DWOMIO OFEPHESUS 

:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OFEPHESUS. x3 Justice, UwU most >_> gwacious ^-^ Duke; >_< O, gwant ;;w;; me ^.^ justice! 
Even fow x3 the OwO sewvice :3 that ^-^ wong xDD since UwU I uWu did ÚwÚ thee, 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ bestwid uWu thee uWu in x3 the ^-^ waws, ÚwÚ and >_> took 
Deep xDD scaws to :3 save >w< thy :33 wife; even fow x3 the :3 bwood 
:33 That xDD then UwU I wost fow ÚwÚ thee, nyow gwant ;;w;; me justice. 
>w< AEGEON. OwO Unwess x3 the feaw of :33 death xDD doth >_< make ;;w;; me ;;w;; dote, 
UwU I >_> see x3 my >_< son Antipholus, ÚwÚ and :3 Dwomio. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OFEPHESUS. x3 Justice, x3 sweet >_< Pwince, OwO against :3 that OwO woman thewe! 
:33 She ÚwÚ whom xDD thou >w< gav'st to ;;w;; me to be x3 my :3 wife, 
:33 That hath :3 abused ÚwÚ and ^-^ dishonyouwed ;;w;; me 
Even uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ stwength ÚwÚ and height of >w< injuwy. 
^.^ Beyond xDD imaginyation >_> is x3 the wrong 
:33 That ^.^ she ÚwÚ this day hath shameless :33 thwown on x3 me. 
x3 DUKE. Discover how, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt find ;;w;; me ;;w;; just. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OFEPHESUS. This ^-^ day, great ;;w;; Duke, ^.^ she shut x3 the x3 doows ;;w;; upon uWu me, 
While ^.^ she with UwU hawwots feasted uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ house. 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ A ;;w;; gwievous ^-^ fauwt. Say, ^w^ woman, :33 didst xDD thou so? 
ADWIANyA. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. Myself, xDD he, ÚwÚ and x3 my ^-^ sistew, 
OwO To-day uWu did ÚwÚ dinye together. ^w^ So befaww x3 my :3 souw 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this >_> is UwU fawse ^.^ he burdens ;;w;; me withaw! 
:33 WUCIANyA. Nye'ew OwO may UwU I wook on day nor :33 sweep on >w< nyight 
OwO But ^.^ she uWu tewws to x3 youw >_> Highnyess :33 simpwe :3 twuth! 
OwO ANGEWO. x3 O ;;w;; pefwuw'd OwO woman! ^-^ They OwO awe both forsworn. 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this x3 the ÚwÚ madman >_< justwy >_< chawgeth OwO them. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. OwO My ^.^ wiege, UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ advised >_> what UwU I say; 
>_> Nyeithew disturbed with x3 the ^w^ effect of wine, 
x3 Nyow heady-rash, ^.^ pwovok'd with waging :3 iwe, 
Awbeit x3 my >_< wwongs ^w^ might >_< make one wiser >_> mad. 
This OwO woman :3 wock'd ;;w;; me x3 out ÚwÚ this day from uWu dinnyew; 
:33 That gowdsmith thewe, :3 wewe ^.^ he nyot ;;w;; pack'd with hew, 
Could >_> witnyess :33 it, fow ^.^ he UwU was with ;;w;; me :33 then; 
Who pawted with ;;w;; me to OwO go :3 fetch :3 a ^w^ chain, 
Promising to ;;w;; bwing >w< it to x3 the ;;w;; Powpentinye, 
Whewe ^.^ Bawthazaw ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu did ÚwÚ dinye together. 
Our dinner :33 donye, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he nyot xDD coming thithew, 
UwU I OwO went to >_> seek ^.^ him. ^w^ In x3 the :3 stweet UwU I >w< met :3 him, 
xDD And uWu in :33 his >_< company :3 that :3 gentweman. 
>_> Thewe uWu did ÚwÚ this >w< pewjuw'd gowdsmith >_< sweaw ;;w;; me down 
:33 That UwU I ÚwÚ this day of ^.^ him weceiv'd x3 the ^w^ chain, 
>_< Which, ^w^ God ^.^ he ;;w;; knyows, UwU I saw x3 nyot; fow x3 the which 
>w< He uWu did ;;w;; awwest ;;w;; me with >w< an officer. 
UwU I uWu did OwO obey, ÚwÚ and sent x3 my peasant ^.^ home 
For xDD cewtain ducats; ^.^ he with >_< nyonye ;;w;; wetuwn'd. 
UwU Then ^.^ faiwwy UwU I ;;w;; bespoke x3 the officer 
;;w;; To OwO go uWu in ÚwÚ pewson with ;;w;; me to x3 my ÚwÚ house. 
^-^ By x3 th' uWu way ^.^ we >w< met x3 my :3 wife, her ^-^ sistew, ÚwÚ and :3 a rabble ^.^ mowe 
Of ^-^ viwe confedewates. ;;w;; Awong with them 
^-^ They ^.^ bwought one UwU Pinch, :3 a hungwy lean-fac'd villain, 
^-^ A mere anyatomy, :3 a >_< mountebank, 
^-^ A threadbare uWu juggwew, ÚwÚ and :3 a fortune-teller, 
^-^ A >_> nyeedy, ;;w;; howwow-ey'd, shawp-wooking :3 wwetch, 
^-^ A UwU wiving >_< dead man. This pewnyicious :33 swave, 
Forsooth, >_> took on ^.^ him >_< as :3 a conjuwew, 
xDD And >_< gazing uWu in >_< minye ^w^ eyes, :33 feewing x3 my puwse, 
xDD And with nyo >w< face, >_< as :33 'twewe, ^w^ outfacing uWu me, 
>w< Cwies x3 out UwU I UwU was ^.^ possess'd. UwU Then aww togethew 
^-^ They UwU feww ;;w;; upon uWu me, bound uWu me, bore ;;w;; me thence, 
xDD And uWu in :3 a dark ÚwÚ and ^-^ dankish >_< vauwt uWu at ^.^ home 
>_> Thewe left ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ man, both bound together; 
:3 Tiww, :3 gnyawing with x3 my teeth x3 my xDD bonds uWu in sundew, 
UwU I x3 gain'd x3 my ^w^ fweedom, ÚwÚ and immediatewy 
Wan ÚwÚ hithew to x3 youw Grace; ÚwÚ whom UwU I :33 beseech 
;;w;; To UwU give ;;w;; me uWu ampwe >_< satisfaction 
For these >_> deep UwU shames ÚwÚ and great indignyities. 
OwO ANGEWO. OwO My uWu wowd, uWu in truth, OwO thus uWu faw UwU I >_> witnyess with :3 him, 
:33 That ^.^ he ÚwÚ din'd nyot uWu at ^.^ home, >_> but UwU was :3 wock'd OwO out. 
x3 DUKE. OwO But xDD had ^.^ he xDD such :3 a uWu chain of ÚwÚ thee, ow no? 
OwO ANGEWO. >w< He :33 had, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and when ^.^ he wan uWu in UwU hewe, 
;;w;; These OwO peopwe saw x3 the uWu chain about :33 his ;;w;; nyeck. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. :33 Besides, UwU I xDD wiww be sworn these OwO eaws of >_< minye 
^-^ Heawd xDD you x3 confess xDD you xDD had x3 the uWu chain of :3 him, 
>w< Aftew xDD you xDD fiwst fowswowe >w< it on x3 the ^.^ mawt; 
xDD And thereupon UwU I >w< dwew x3 my xDD swowd on UwU you, 
xDD And xDD then xDD you ^w^ fwed x3 into ÚwÚ this >_> abbey UwU hewe, 
Fwom OwO whence, UwU I >_< think, xDD you OwO awe come ^.^ by miracle. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I >_< nyevew ^-^ came within these >_> abbey walls, 
x3 Nyow OwO evew :33 didst xDD thou dwaw >w< thy xDD swowd on OwO me; 
UwU I >_< nyevew saw x3 the ^w^ chain, UwU so OwO hewp ;;w;; me >_< Heaven! 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is UwU fawse xDD you buwden ;;w;; me uWu withaw. 
x3 DUKE. Why, >_> what >w< an ;;w;; intwicate x3 impeach >_> is x3 this! 
UwU I think xDD you aww uWu have UwU dwunk of >w< Ciwce's >_> cup. 
;;w;; If OwO hewe xDD you ÚwÚ hous'd :3 him, OwO hewe ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD been; 
;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 wewe mad, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot pwead UwU so ^.^ cowdwy. 
>_> You >_> say ^.^ he ÚwÚ din'd uWu at home: x3 the gowdsmith OwO hewe 
>w< Denyies :3 that saying. Siwwah, >_> what >_> say you? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU Siw, ^.^ he ÚwÚ din'd with her thewe, uWu at x3 the ;;w;; Powpentinye. 
COUWTEZAN. >w< He ^.^ did; ÚwÚ and from x3 my finger ^-^ snyatch'd :3 that wing. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. 'Tis ^-^ twue, x3 my ÚwÚ wiege; ÚwÚ this OwO wing UwU I xDD had of her. 
x3 DUKE. x3 Saw'st xDD thou ^.^ him enter uWu at x3 the >_> abbey hewe? 
COUWTEZAN. ;;w;; As x3 suwe, x3 my ^.^ wiege, >_< as UwU I UwU do >_> see x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
x3 DUKE. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 stwange. Go caww x3 the ÚwÚ Abbess hithew. 
UwU I think xDD you OwO awe aww mated ow x3 stawk >_> mad. 
;;w;; <Exit one to x3 the ^-^ ABBESS 
>w< AEGEON. :3 Most ^-^ mighty ;;w;; Duke, x3 vouchsafe ;;w;; me speak :3 a wowd: 
Haply UwU I >_> see :3 a :33 fwiend xDD wiww :3 save x3 my >w< wife 
xDD And x3 pay x3 the >w< sum :3 that OwO may ÚwÚ dewivew x3 me. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Speak freely, Syracusian, >_> what xDD thou wilt. 
>w< AEGEON. Is nyot x3 youw :33 nyame, ^w^ siw, ^w^ caww'd ÚwÚ Antiphowus? 
xDD And >_> is nyot :3 that x3 youw :3 bondman Dromio? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. OwO Within ÚwÚ this >_> houw UwU I UwU was :33 his ÚwÚ bondman, ^w^ siw, 
OwO But xDD he, UwU I >_> thank :3 him, gnyaw'd uWu in >w< two x3 my cowds 
Now ^w^ am UwU I Dromio ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 man uWu unbound. 
>w< AEGEON. UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you both of xDD you remember x3 me. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Ourselves ^.^ we UwU do UwU wemembew, ^w^ siw, ^.^ by uWu you; 
For :3 watewy ^.^ we :3 wewe bound >_< as xDD you OwO awe now. 
>_> You OwO awe nyot UwU Pinch's *giggles shyly* patient, OwO awe UwU you, UwU siw? 
>w< AEGEON. Why wook xDD you ;;w;; stwange on me? >_> You ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me well. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I >_< nyevew saw xDD you uWu in x3 my >w< wife >w< tiww now. 
>w< AEGEON. :3 O! grief hath chang'd ;;w;; me xDD since xDD you saw ;;w;; me last; 
xDD And careful >_> houws with ÚwÚ time's >_< defowmed uWu hand 
:3 Have ÚwÚ wwitten ;;w;; stwange ^.^ defeatuwes uWu in x3 my ;;w;; face. 
OwO But tell ;;w;; me ^w^ yet, dost xDD thou nyot ^.^ knyow x3 my :33 voice? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Nyeithew. 
>w< AEGEON. ^w^ Dwomio, nor thou? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. :3 Nyo, :33 twust uWu me, ^w^ siw, nor ^.^ I. 
>w< AEGEON. UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD thou >_> dost. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Ay, ^w^ siw, >_> but UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe UwU I UwU do x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and 
^-^ whatsoevew :3 a x3 man denies, xDD you OwO awe nyow bound to ^-^ bewieve ^.^ him. 
>w< AEGEON. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ knyow x3 my ^.^ voice! x3 O ÚwÚ time's OwO extwemity, 
Hast xDD thou UwU so >_< cwack'd ÚwÚ and xDD spwitted x3 my poor >_> tongue 
^w^ In ÚwÚ seven showt years :3 that OwO hewe x3 my >w< onwy >_< son 
xDD Knyows nyot x3 my feebwe OwO key of ^w^ untun'd cares? 
;;w;; Though nyow ÚwÚ this ^-^ gwainyed OwO face of >_< minye be >_< hid 
^w^ In ÚwÚ sap-consuming winter's ^-^ dwizzwed ;;w;; snyow, 
xDD And aww x3 the ;;w;; conduits of x3 my :3 bwood >w< fwoze up, 
ÚwÚ Yet hath x3 my >w< nyight of >w< wife x3 some xDD memowy, 
OwO My :3 wasting >w< wamps x3 some >_> fading gwimmew uWu weft, 
OwO My dull deaf OwO eaws :3 a xDD wittwe use to :3 heaw; 
All these ;;w;; owd witnyesses-I ;;w;; cannyot >_< eww- 
Teww ;;w;; me xDD thou awt x3 my >_< son OwO Antiphowus. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I >_< nyevew saw x3 my >w< fathew uWu in x3 my life. 
>w< AEGEON. OwO But ÚwÚ seven years since, uWu in ^w^ Sywacuse, ^-^ boy, 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st ^.^ we parted; >_> but :3 pewhaps, x3 my x3 son, 
^.^ Thou sham'st to :3 acknyowwedge ;;w;; me uWu in OwO misewy. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. uWu The >w< Duke ÚwÚ and aww :3 that ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me uWu in 
x3 the UwU city UwU Can >_> witnyess with ;;w;; me :3 that >w< it >_> is nyot so: 
UwU I ^w^ nye'ew saw :33 Sywacuse uWu in x3 my life. 
x3 DUKE. UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, Syracusian, ÚwÚ twenty years 
:3 Have UwU I :33 been patron to Antipholus, 
^w^ Duwing which time ^.^ he ^w^ nye'ew saw Syracuse. 
UwU I >_> see >w< thy age ÚwÚ and >_> dangews >_< make uWu thee ;;w;; dote. 

^.^ We-entew x3 the ;;w;; ABBESS, with :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE ÚwÚ and DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE 

ABBESS. :3 Most ^-^ mighty ;;w;; Duke, behowd :3 a x3 man much >_> wwong'd. 
>w< [Aww gathew to >_> see ÚwÚ them] 
ADWIANyA. UwU I >_> see >w< two uWu husbands, ow >_< minye eyes >w< deceive x3 me. 
x3 DUKE. x3 Onye of these ;;w;; men >_> is ^w^ genyius to x3 the >w< othew; 
xDD And UwU so of :3 these. >_< Which >_> is x3 the natural ^w^ man, 
xDD And which x3 the spiwit? Who >_< deciphews them? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. I, ^w^ siw, ^w^ am UwU Dwomio; ÚwÚ command ^.^ him xDD away. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. I, UwU Siw, ^w^ am UwU Dwomio; pray wet ;;w;; me >_< stay. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU Aegeon, awt xDD thou ^w^ nyot? ow >_> ewse :33 his 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_< O, x3 my ;;w;; owd x3 mastew! who hath bound 
ABBESS. ÚwÚ Whoevew bound :3 him, UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; woose :33 his bonds, 
xDD And ^.^ gain :3 a :33 husband ^.^ by :33 his OwO wibewty. 
ÚwÚ Speak, ;;w;; owd UwU Aegeon, >_> if xDD thou ÚwÚ be'st x3 the x3 man 
:33 That >w< hadst :3 a >w< wife >_> once ^w^ caww'd Aemiwia, 
:33 That bore uWu thee uWu at :3 a buwden >w< two >w< faiw >w< sons. 
>_< O, >_> if xDD thou ÚwÚ be'st x3 the same UwU Aegeon, :3 speak, 
xDD And speak >w< unto x3 the same uWu Aemiwia! 
>w< AEGEON. ;;w;; If UwU I dweam >_> nyot, xDD thou awt ;;w;; Aemiwia. 
;;w;; If xDD thou awt uWu she, tell ;;w;; me :3 whewe >_> is :3 that >_< son 
:33 That fwoated with uWu thee on x3 the uWu fataw uWu waft? 
ABBESS. ^-^ By ;;w;; men of OwO Epidamnyum ^.^ he ÚwÚ and UwU I 
xDD And x3 the ^-^ twin ^w^ Dwomio, aww :3 wewe :33 taken xDD up; 
OwO But ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by wude fishewmen of ^.^ Cowinth 
^-^ By force >_> took Dromio ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< son from ÚwÚ them, 
xDD And ;;w;; me ;;w;; they left with UwU those of Epidamnyum. 
>_> What xDD then ÚwÚ became of them UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell; 
UwU I to ÚwÚ this :3 fowtunye :3 that xDD you >_> see ;;w;; me ^.^ in. 
x3 DUKE. Why, OwO hewe ÚwÚ begins :33 his mownying ^-^ stowy ÚwÚ wight. 
;;w;; These >w< two uWu Antiphowus', these >w< two UwU so :3 wike, 
xDD And these >w< two Dwomios, one uWu in ^w^ sembwance- 
Besides her ÚwÚ uwging of her wreck uWu at ;;w;; sea- 
;;w;; These OwO awe x3 the parents to these chiwdwen, 
>_< Which UwU accidentawwy OwO awe >w< met together. 
Antipholus, xDD thou xDD cam'st from ^.^ Cowinth uWu fiwst? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, nyot x3 I; UwU I ^-^ came from Syracuse. 
x3 DUKE. Stay, stand uWu apawt; UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot which >_> is :3 which. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. UwU I ^-^ came from ^w^ Cowinth, x3 my UwU most >_> gwacious OwO wowd. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. xDD And UwU I with ^.^ him. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Bwought to ÚwÚ this :33 town ^.^ by :3 that UwU most famous wawwiow, 
>w< Duke Menyaphon, x3 youw UwU most uWu wenyownyed uncle. 
ADWIANyA. >_< Which of xDD you >w< two uWu did ÚwÚ dinye with ;;w;; me >w< to-day? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. I, ^-^ gentwe ^w^ mistwess. 
ADWIANyA. xDD And OwO awe nyot xDD you x3 my OwO husband? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. No; UwU I >_> say x3 nyay to x3 that. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. xDD And UwU so UwU do I, yet uWu did ^.^ she caww ;;w;; me so; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >w< faiw gentwewoman, her :3 sistew UwU hewe, 
Did caww ;;w;; me ^-^ bwothew. :33 [To x3 WUCIANyA] >_> What UwU I told xDD you >w< then, 
UwU I UwU hope UwU I UwU shaww uWu have leisure to >_< make good; 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be nyot :3 a dweam UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ and heaw. 
OwO ANGEWO. :33 That >_> is x3 the ^w^ chain, ^w^ siw, which xDD you xDD had of x3 me. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. UwU I think >w< it be, siw; UwU I UwU deny >w< it not. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. xDD And UwU you, ^w^ siw, fow ÚwÚ this uWu chain awwested x3 me. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I think UwU I ^-^ did, siw; UwU I UwU deny >w< it not. 
ADWIANyA. UwU I sent xDD you monyey, ^w^ siw, to be x3 youw >_< baiw, 
^-^ By UwU Dwomio; >_> but UwU I think ^.^ he ^.^ bwought >w< it not. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. :3 Nyo, >_< nyonye ^.^ by x3 me. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. This >_< puwse of ;;w;; ducats UwU I weceiv'd from UwU you, 
xDD And Dromio x3 my x3 man uWu did ;;w;; bwing them x3 me. 
UwU I >_> see ^.^ we still uWu did :3 meet >_< each ;;w;; othew's ^w^ man, 
xDD And UwU I UwU was >_> ta'en fow :3 him, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he fow uWu me, 
xDD And thereupon these ERRORS OwO awe arose. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ;;w;; These ;;w;; ducats ^.^ pawn UwU I fow x3 my >w< fathew hewe. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ It UwU shaww nyot need; >w< thy >w< fathew hath :33 his life. 
COUWTEZAN. UwU Siw, UwU I ^w^ must uWu have :3 that >_> diamond from OwO you. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. There, OwO take uWu it; ÚwÚ and much thanks fow x3 my 
ÚwÚ good cheer. 
ABBESS. UwU Wenyownyed ;;w;; Duke, x3 vouchsafe to OwO take x3 the ^w^ pains 
;;w;; To OwO go with >_> us x3 into x3 the >_> abbey UwU hewe, 
xDD And hear uWu at large uWu discouwsed aww UwU ouw fortunes; 
xDD And aww :3 that OwO awe >_> assembwed uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 pwace 
:33 That ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ;;w;; sympathized one day's ewwow 
:3 Have ^w^ suffew'd wwong, OwO go >_< keep >_> us xDD company, 
xDD And ^.^ we UwU shaww >_< make full satisfaction. 
Thiwty-thwee years uWu have UwU I >_> but >_> gonye uWu in :3 twavaiw 
Of UwU you, x3 my sons; ÚwÚ and >w< tiww ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent >_> houw 
OwO My x3 heavy buwden ^w^ nye'ew delivered. 
uWu The ;;w;; Duke, x3 my ^.^ husband, ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 chiwdwen xDD both, 
xDD And xDD you x3 the UwU cawendaws of uWu theiw OwO nyativity, 
Go to :3 a OwO gossips' OwO feast, ÚwÚ and OwO go with OwO me; 
>w< Aftew UwU so ^-^ wong gwief, xDD such ;;w;; nyativity! 
x3 DUKE. With aww x3 my uWu heawt, I'll ^.^ gossip uWu at ÚwÚ this x3 feast. 
<Exeunt aww >_> but :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >_< SYWACUSE, :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF 
:3 EPHESUS, DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >_< SYWACUSE, ÚwÚ and DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ Mastew, UwU shaww UwU I :3 fetch x3 youw ^w^ stuff from shipboard? 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. ^w^ Dwomio, >_> what ^w^ stuff of >_< minye x3 hast xDD thou ^w^ embawk'd? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. uWu Youw >_> goods :3 that uWu way uWu at >_< host, ^w^ siw, uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ Centauw. 
:3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >w< He xDD speaks to x3 me. UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw ^.^ mastew, :3 Dwomio. 
^.^ Come, OwO go with us; we'll wook to :3 that x3 anyon. 
>w< Embwace >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew uWu thewe; rejoice with ^.^ him. 
<Exeunt :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF UwU SYWACUSE ÚwÚ and :3 ANTIPHOWUS ÚwÚ OF EPHESUS 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a :33 fat :33 fwiend uWu at x3 youw xDD mastew's house, 
:33 That ^.^ kitchen'd ;;w;; me fow xDD you ^w^ to-day uWu at uWu dinnyew; 
:33 She nyow UwU shaww be x3 my ^-^ sistew, nyot x3 my x3 wife. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Methinks xDD you OwO awe x3 my gwass, ÚwÚ and nyot x3 my bwothew; 
UwU I >_> see ^.^ by xDD you UwU I ^w^ am :3 a >_> sweet-fac'd >_< youth. 
Will xDD you UwU wawk uWu in to >_> see uWu theiw ;;w;; gossiping? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ÚwÚ Nyot I, siw; xDD you OwO awe x3 my x3 ewdew. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. >w< That's :3 a OwO question; >w< how UwU shaww ^.^ we >_> twy :33 it? 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF SYWACUSE. ^-^ We'ww dwaw >w< cuts fow x3 the senyiow; >w< tiww >w< then, 
lead xDD thou fiwst. 
DWOMIO ÚwÚ OF >w< EPHESUS. Nyay, >w< then, thus: 
We ^-^ came x3 into x3 the wowwd ^.^ wike ÚwÚ bwothew ÚwÚ and brother, 
xDD And nyow >_> wet's OwO go uWu hand uWu in uWu hand, nyot one >w< befowe anyothew. 
<Exeunt 


^-^ THE END 


^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





1608 

^-^ THE uWu TWAGEDY ÚwÚ OF ^.^ COWIOWANyUS 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

>_> CAIUS ^w^ MAWCIUS, afterwards >_> CAIUS >_< MAWCIUS ^.^ COWIOWANyUS 

;;w;; Genyewaws OwO against x3 the >_< Vowscians 
TITUS ^w^ WAWTIUS 
COMINIUS 

>_< MENyENyIUS x3 AGWIPPA, :33 fwiend to Cowiowanyus 

ÚwÚ Twibunyes of x3 the Peopwe 
x3 SICINyIUS ^.^ VEWUTUS 
JUNIUS BRUTUS 

:3 YOUNG ^w^ MAWCIUS, >_< son to Cowiowanyus 
^-^ A WOMAN uWu HEWAWD 
>w< NyICANyOW, :3 a Roman 
OwO TUWWUS x3 AUFIDIUS, General of x3 the >_< Vowscians 
WIEUTENyANT, to Aufidius 
OwO CONSPIWATOWS, With Aufidius 
ADRIAN, :3 a ;;w;; Vowscian 
^-^ A :3 CITIZEN of Antium 
OwO TWO ÚwÚ VOWSCIAN GUARDS 

OwO VOWUMNyIA, mothew to Cowiowanyus 
>w< VIWGIWIA, >w< wife to Cowiowanyus 
:33 VAWEWIA, :33 fwiend to xDD Viwgiwia 
UwU GENTWEWOMAN :33 attending on xDD Viwgiwia 

Roman ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Vowscian >_< Senyatows, Patricians, :3 Aediwes, ÚwÚ Wictows, 
Soldiers, uWu Citizens, Messengews, Servants to >_< Aufidius, ÚwÚ and othew 
^-^ Attendants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and x3 the neighbourhood; ;;w;; Cowiowi ÚwÚ and x3 the neighbourhood; Antium 



^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew :3 a >_< company of mutinyous uWu citizens, with OwO staves, :33 cwubs, ÚwÚ and othew >_< weapons 

uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^.^ Befowe ^.^ we proceed xDD any further, hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
uWu AWW. ÚwÚ Speak, >_< speak. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. YOU OwO awe aww :3 wesowv'd rather to ^-^ die than to ^.^ famish? 
uWu AWW. :3 Wesowv'd, ^.^ wesowv'd. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^.^ Fiwst, xDD you ^.^ knyow :3 Caius Marcius >_> is uWu chief ;;w;; enyemy to x3 the 
^-^ peopwe. 
uWu AWW. We know't, ^.^ we uWu knyow't. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Let >_> us OwO kiww :3 him, ÚwÚ and we'll uWu have corn uWu at UwU ouw UwU own 
price. ^-^ Is't :3 a vewdict? 
uWu AWW. No ^.^ mowe :33 tawking ^-^ on't; wet >w< it be ^-^ donye. :33 Away, away! 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 Onye word, ÚwÚ good >w< citizens. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. We OwO awe x3 accounted poor uWu citizens, x3 the :33 patwicians UwU good. 
>_> What ÚwÚ authowity surfeits on ^.^ wouwd xDD wewieve us; >_> if ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd yield 
>_> us >_> but x3 the supewfwuity OwO whiwe >w< it :3 wewe ÚwÚ whowesome, ^.^ we ^w^ might guess 
;;w;; they relieved >_> us >_< humanyewy; >_> but ;;w;; they think ^.^ we OwO awe ^w^ too deaw. uWu The 
weannyess :3 that affwicts us, x3 the :33 object of UwU ouw ^-^ misewy, >_> is >_< as >w< an 
>_< inventowy to OwO pawticuwawize uWu theiw >_> abundance; UwU ouw sufferance >_> is :3 a 
^.^ gain to OwO them. Let >_> us xDD wevenge ÚwÚ this with UwU ouw >_< pikes ere ^.^ we :33 become 
wakes; fow x3 the gods ^.^ knyow UwU I speak ÚwÚ this uWu in :33 hungew fow bread, nyot uWu in 
UwU thiwst fow revenge. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. Wouwd xDD you proceed especially OwO against :3 Caius :33 Mawcius? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^w^ Against ^.^ him first; uWu he's :3 a xDD vewy dog to x3 the 
commonyawty. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. Consider xDD you >_> what >_< sewvices ^.^ he >_> has donye fow :33 his 
country? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Very weww, ÚwÚ and couwd be :3 content to UwU give ^.^ him ÚwÚ good 
wepowt for't >_> but :3 that ^.^ he >w< pays >_< himsewf with ^.^ being :3 pwoud. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. Nyay, >_> but speak nyot maliciously. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. UwU I >_> say >w< unto UwU you, >_> what ^.^ he hath donye famously ^.^ he uWu did >w< it 
to :3 that ^w^ end; ^w^ though ;;w;; soft-conscienc'd ;;w;; men ^.^ can be :3 content to >_> say >w< it 
UwU was fow :33 his country, ^.^ he uWu did >w< it to uWu pwease :33 his mothew ÚwÚ and to be 
;;w;; pawtwy :3 pwoud, which ^.^ he ;;w;; is, even to x3 the altitude of :33 his ÚwÚ viwtue. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_> What ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot OwO hewp uWu in :33 his ÚwÚ nyatuwe xDD you :33 account :3 a 
:33 vice uWu in ^.^ him. >_> You ^w^ must uWu in nyo uWu way >_> say ^.^ he >_> is covetous. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ must >_> nyot, UwU I >_< nyeed nyot be ^-^ bawwen of ;;w;; accusations; 
^.^ he hath fauwts, with uWu suwpwus, to tire uWu in repetition. [Shouts 
;;w;; within] >_> What ^w^ shouts OwO awe xDD these? uWu The othew x3 side ^.^ o' x3 th' UwU city >_> is 
risen. Why xDD stay ^.^ we ;;w;; pwating hewe? ;;w;; To x3 th' xDD Capitow! 
uWu AWW. ^.^ Come, x3 come. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ;;w;; Soft! who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew >_< MENyENyIUS AGRIPPA 

^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. Wowthy ^-^ Menyenyius ^.^ Agwippa; one :3 that hath awways :3 wov'd 
x3 the ^-^ peopwe. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. He's one xDD honyest >_< enyough; ^.^ wouwd aww x3 the xDD west :3 wewe so! 
MENENIUS. >_> What >w< wowk's, x3 my ÚwÚ countwymen, uWu in hand? Whewe OwO go xDD you 
With ^.^ bats ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwubs? uWu The ^.^ mattew? ÚwÚ Speak, UwU I pray OwO you. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Our business >_> is nyot unknown to x3 th' Senate; ;;w;; they uWu have 
xDD had ^-^ inkwing ÚwÚ this fortnight >_> what ^.^ we intend to UwU do, which nyow we'll 
x3 show x3 'em uWu in >_> deeds. ^-^ They >_> say poor ^-^ suitows uWu have >w< stwong :33 bweaths; 
;;w;; they UwU shaww ^.^ knyow ^.^ we uWu have >w< stwong :3 awms UwU too. 
MENENIUS. Why, mastews, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO fwiends, >_< minye xDD honyest ÚwÚ nyeighbouws, 
Will xDD you undo >w< youwsewves? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. We cannot, siw; ^.^ we OwO awe ÚwÚ undonye >_< awweady. 
MENENIUS. UwU I tell UwU you, OwO fwiends, UwU most x3 chawitabwe :3 cawe 
:3 Have x3 the :33 patwicians of OwO you. For x3 youw ;;w;; wants, 
uWu Youw suffering uWu in ÚwÚ this deawth, xDD you OwO may >_< as weww 
OwO Stwike uWu at x3 the heaven with x3 youw ÚwÚ staves >_< as lift them 
^w^ Against x3 the Roman ^w^ state; x3 whose course xDD wiww on 
uWu The uWu way >w< it ^-^ takes, cwacking ;;w;; ten thousand curbs 
Of ^.^ mowe >w< stwong >_> wink asundew than ^.^ can OwO evew 
Appear uWu in x3 youw >_< impediment. For x3 the deawth, 
uWu The uWu gods, nyot x3 the UwU patwicians, >_< make :33 it, ÚwÚ and 
uWu Youw knees to ÚwÚ them, nyot awms, ^w^ must ;;w;; hewp. xDD Awack, 
>_> You OwO awe twanspowted ^.^ by ^-^ cawamity 
Thither :3 whewe ^.^ mowe ^.^ attends uWu you; ÚwÚ and xDD you ^-^ swandew 
uWu The helms ^.^ o' x3 th' state, who :3 cawe fow xDD you ^.^ wike fathers, 
x3 When xDD you UwU cuwse them >_< as enemies. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Cawe fow ÚwÚ us! >_< Twue, ^w^ indeed! ^-^ They ^w^ nye'ew car'd fow >_> us 
>_> yet. Suffer >_> us to xDD famish, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw stowehouses cramm'd with 
grain; >_< make ;;w;; edicts fow usury, to support >_< usuwews; repeal x3 daiwy 
xDD any whowesome ;;w;; act ÚwÚ estabwished OwO against x3 the rich, ÚwÚ and provide ^.^ mowe 
piewcing x3 statutes x3 daiwy to uWu chain x3 up ÚwÚ and uWu westwain x3 the :3 poow. ;;w;; If x3 the 
UwU waws eat >_> us nyot up, ;;w;; they :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and there's aww x3 the wuv ;;w;; they UwU beaw 
>_> us. 
MENENIUS. ^-^ Eithew xDD you ^w^ must 
^w^ Confess youwsewves wondwous malicious, 
:33 Ow be ^-^ accus'd of ^w^ fowwy. UwU I UwU shaww tell xDD you 
^-^ A OwO pwetty ^-^ tawe. ^.^ It OwO may be xDD you uWu have heard uWu it; 
But, xDD since >w< it sewves x3 my xDD puwpose, UwU I xDD wiww venture 
;;w;; To xDD stawe't :3 a xDD wittwe more. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. xDD Weww, I'll hear :33 it, siw; yet xDD you ^w^ must nyot think to 
xDD fob x3 off UwU ouw xDD disgwace with :3 a ^-^ tawe. But, UwU an't uWu pwease UwU you, deliver. 
MENENIUS. >_> Thewe UwU was :3 a time when aww x3 the body's members 
^-^ Webeww'd OwO against x3 the belly; OwO thus ^-^ accus'd >w< it: 
:33 That >w< onwy ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ guwf >w< it uWu did wemain 
xDD I' x3 th' >w< midst ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; body, idle ÚwÚ and OwO unyactive, 
UwU Stiww UwU cupboawding x3 the ;;w;; viand, >_< nyevew :33 beawing 
Wike labour with x3 the rest; :3 whewe x3 th' othew instwuments 
Did >_> see ÚwÚ and heaw, ^w^ devise, instruct, walk, feew, 
^.^ And, OwO mutuawwy pawticipate, uWu did xDD minyistew 
uWu Unto x3 the xDD appetite ÚwÚ and :3 affection ^w^ common 
Of x3 the whole body. uWu The bewwy answer'd- 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, >_> what answew UwU made x3 the >w< bewwy? 
MENENIUS. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU shaww tell OwO you. With :3 a uWu kind of :33 smiwe, 
>_< Which ^w^ nye'ew ^-^ came from x3 the ;;w;; wungs, >_> but even ^w^ thus- 
For wook UwU you, UwU I OwO may >_< make x3 the bewwy ;;w;; smiwe 
;;w;; As weww >_< as speak- >w< it :3 tauntingwy replied 
;;w;; To x3 th' >_> discontented >w< membews, x3 the mutinyous parts 
:33 That envied :33 his receipt; even UwU so UwU most OwO fitwy 
;;w;; As xDD you ;;w;; mawign UwU ouw :3 senyatows fow :3 that 
^-^ They OwO awe nyot xDD such >_< as OwO you. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu Youw x3 bewwy's answer- What? 
uWu The >_> kingwy ^.^ cwownyed head, x3 the UwU vigiwant >_< eye, 
uWu The counsellor uWu heawt, x3 the awm UwU ouw sowdiew, 
Our :3 steed x3 the ^-^ weg, x3 the >_> tongue UwU ouw >_< twumpetew, 
With othew muniments ÚwÚ and petty helps 
Is ÚwÚ this UwU ouw fabric, >_> if :3 that they- 
MENENIUS. >_> What ^w^ then? 
^-^ Fowe uWu me, ÚwÚ this fewwow speaks! >_> What ^w^ then? >_> What ^w^ then? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Should ^.^ by x3 the cormorant bewwy be ;;w;; westwain'd, 
Who >_> is x3 the sink ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ body- 
MENENIUS. xDD Weww, >_> what ^w^ then? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu The xDD fowmew >_< agents, >_> if ;;w;; they uWu did >_< compwain, 
>_> What couwd x3 the bewwy answer? 
MENENIUS. UwU I xDD wiww tell uWu you; 
;;w;; If you'ww bestow :3 a ^w^ smaww- of >_> what xDD you uWu have little- 
;;w;; Patience awhiwe, ^w^ you'st hear x3 the x3 bewwy's answer. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Y'awe ^-^ wong about :3 it. 
MENENIUS. xDD Nyote ;;w;; me uWu this, ÚwÚ good fwiend: 
uWu Youw UwU most :3 gwave bewwy UwU was uWu dewibewate, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< wash ^.^ wike :33 his ÚwÚ accusews, ÚwÚ and OwO thus answered. 
'True >_> is :33 it, x3 my incorporate xDD fwiends,' quoth ^.^ he 
'That UwU I receive x3 the general OwO food uWu at xDD fiwst 
>_< Which xDD you UwU do ^w^ wive xDD upon; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fit >w< it ;;w;; is, 
>_< Because UwU I ^w^ am x3 the stowehouse ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> shop 
Of x3 the whole body. But, >_> if xDD you UwU do UwU wemembew, 
UwU I >_> send >w< it ^w^ thwough x3 the rivers of x3 youw bwood, 
Even to x3 the xDD couwt, x3 the uWu heawt, to x3 th' uWu seat ^.^ o' x3 th' bwain; 
^.^ And, ^w^ thwough x3 the cranks ÚwÚ and ;;w;; offices of ^w^ man, 
uWu The OwO stwongest nerves ÚwÚ and UwU smaww :33 infewiow >_> veins 
Fwom ;;w;; me receive :3 that natural competency 
Whereby ;;w;; they wive. xDD And ^w^ though :3 that aww uWu at >_> once 
>_< You, x3 my ÚwÚ good fwiends'- ÚwÚ this ;;w;; says x3 the belly; mark x3 me. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Ay, siw; weww, well. 
MENENIUS. ^-^ 'Though aww uWu at >_> once ;;w;; cannyot 
xDD See >_> what UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ dewivew x3 out to :33 each, 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^.^ can >_< make x3 my ^-^ audit up, :3 that aww 
Fwom ;;w;; me UwU do back receive x3 the :3 fwouw of all, 
xDD And OwO weave ;;w;; me >_> but x3 the uWu bwan.' >_> What >_> say xDD you :3 to' xDD t? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^.^ It UwU was >w< an answer. How apply xDD you :3 this? 
MENENIUS. uWu The :3 senyatows of ÚwÚ Wome OwO awe ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good bewwy, 
xDD And xDD you x3 the mutinyous members; for, >_> examinye 
^-^ Theiw uWu counsews ÚwÚ and uWu theiw cawes, digest ^.^ things rightly 
:3 Touching x3 the ^-^ weaw ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ common, xDD you UwU shaww find 
No public ^-^ benyefit which xDD you receive 
OwO But >w< it proceeds ow x3 comes from them to UwU you, 
xDD And nyo uWu way from youwsewves. >_> What UwU do xDD you >_< think, 
>_< You, x3 the great toe of ÚwÚ this OwO assembwy? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. UwU I x3 the great toe? Why x3 the great toe? 
MENENIUS. For :3 that, ^.^ being one ^.^ o' x3 th' x3 wowest, basest, poowest, 
Of ÚwÚ this UwU most uWu wise ^-^ webewwion, xDD thou ^.^ goest >_< fowemost. 
^.^ Thou ^.^ wascaw, :3 that awt worst uWu in :3 bwood to uWu wun, 
Wead'st xDD fiwst to x3 win x3 some vantage. 
OwO But >_< make xDD you ready x3 youw OwO stiff ^.^ bats ÚwÚ and clubs. 
ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and her OwO wats OwO awe uWu at x3 the :33 point of uWu battwe; 
uWu The one x3 side ^w^ must uWu have bale. 

Entew >_> CAIUS >_< MAWCIUS 

>w< Haiw, x3 nyobwe ^.^ Mawcius! 
:3 MAWCIUS. Thanks. x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, xDD you :33 dissentious rogues 
^.^ That, rubbing x3 the poor itch of x3 youw :33 opinyion, 
^-^ Make youwsewves scabs? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. We uWu have OwO evew x3 youw ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
:3 MAWCIUS. >w< He :3 that xDD wiww UwU give ÚwÚ good wowds to uWu thee xDD wiww flatter 
Beneath ^w^ abhowwing. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you have, xDD you xDD cuws, 
:33 That ^.^ wike nor uWu peace nor ;;w;; waw? uWu The one affwights UwU you, 
uWu The othew x3 makes xDD you :3 pwoud. >w< He :3 that twusts to UwU you, 
Whewe ^.^ he >_> shouwd find xDD you wions, ÚwÚ finds xDD you uWu hawes; 
Whewe foxes, ^-^ geese; xDD you OwO awe nyo surer, no, 
Than >_> is x3 the coaw of fire ;;w;; upon x3 the :3 ice 
:33 Ow :3 haiwstonye uWu in x3 the OwO sun. uWu Youw viwtue >_> is 
;;w;; To >_< make ^.^ him ÚwÚ wowthy x3 whose offence ^w^ subdues :3 him, 
xDD And UwU cuwse :3 that justice uWu did :3 it. Who >_> desewves :33 gweatnyess 
>_> Desewves x3 youw :33 hate; ÚwÚ and x3 youw affections OwO awe 
^-^ A >w< sick :33 man's uWu appetite, who desiwes UwU most :3 that 
>_< Which ^.^ wouwd incwease :33 his evil. >w< He :3 that ÚwÚ depends 
>_> Upon x3 youw ;;w;; favouws ÚwÚ swims with UwU fins of wead, 
xDD And hews down OwO oaks with :3 wushes. Hang ;;w;; ye! Twust uWu ye? 
With every minyute xDD you UwU do change :3 a ^-^ mind 
xDD And caww ^.^ him x3 nyobwe :3 that UwU was nyow x3 youw hate, 
xDD Him ^-^ viwe :3 that UwU was x3 youw gawwand. x3 What's x3 the ;;w;; mattew 
:33 That uWu in these sevewaw pwaces of x3 the UwU city 
>_> You cwy OwO against x3 the x3 nyobwe >_< Senyate, who, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the uWu gods, >_< keep xDD you uWu in awe, which >_> ewse 
Wouwd >w< feed on one anyothew? x3 What's uWu theiw >_> seeking? 
MENENIUS. For corn uWu at uWu theiw UwU own ;;w;; wates, xDD wheweof ;;w;; they >_> say 
uWu The UwU city >_> is weww stor'd. 
:3 MAWCIUS. Hang OwO 'em! ^-^ They ;;w;; say! 
x3 They'ww sit ^.^ by x3 th' fire ÚwÚ and presume to ^.^ knyow 
x3 What's donye :33 i' x3 th' Capitol, OwO who's ^.^ wike to >_< wise, 
Who thrives ÚwÚ and who ;;w;; decwinyes; x3 side x3 factions, ÚwÚ and UwU give x3 out 
>_> Conjectuwaw marriages, x3 making ;;w;; pawties :33 stwong, 
xDD And feebwing xDD such >_< as stand nyot uWu in uWu theiw UwU wiking 
Below uWu theiw xDD cobbwed ^.^ shoes. ^-^ They >_> say there's ^-^ gwain enough! 
Wouwd x3 the >_> nyobiwity uWu way :3 aside uWu theiw ^w^ wuth 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me use x3 my uWu swowd, ;;w;; I'd >_< make :3 a :33 quawwy 
With thousands of these quawtew'd swaves, >_< as xDD high 
;;w;; As UwU I couwd pick x3 my :3 wance. 
MENENIUS. Nyay, these OwO awe almost thowoughwy persuaded; 
For ^w^ though ^.^ abundantwy ;;w;; they ^.^ wack discretion, 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO awe ;;w;; they passing ;;w;; cowawdwy. But, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
>_> What ;;w;; says x3 the othew troop? 
:3 MAWCIUS. ^-^ They OwO awe dissowv'd. Hang OwO 'em! 
^-^ They uWu said ;;w;; they :3 wewe x3 an-hungwy; xDD sigh'd fowth pwuvwbs- 
:33 That :33 hungew broke stone walls, :3 that ^.^ dogs ^w^ must uWu eat, 
:33 That :3 meat UwU was UwU made fow ^w^ mouths, :3 that x3 the gods sent nyot 
Corn fow x3 the rich ;;w;; men onwy. With these shweds 
^-^ They OwO vented uWu theiw compwainyings; which ^.^ being >_< answew'd, 
xDD And :3 a x3 petition >_> gwanted OwO them- :3 a ;;w;; stwange one, 
;;w;; To bweak x3 the >_< heawt of :3 genyewosity 
xDD And >_< make bold powew wook :33 pawe- ;;w;; they OwO thwew uWu theiw caps 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd ^w^ hang them on x3 the >w< howns ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; moon, 
^-^ Shouting uWu theiw emulation. 
MENENIUS. >_> What >_> is >_> gwanted them? 
:3 MAWCIUS. :3 Five :33 twibunyes, to ;;w;; defend uWu theiw uWu vuwgaw ^.^ wisdoms, 
Of uWu theiw UwU own >w< choice. One's Junius UwU Bwutus- 
x3 Sicinyius ^.^ Vewutus, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow not. :3 'Sdeath! 
uWu The rabble >_> shouwd uWu have xDD fiwst unwoof'd x3 the UwU city 
Ere UwU so pwevaiw'd with OwO me; >w< it xDD wiww uWu in time 
Win ;;w;; upon powew ÚwÚ and ^-^ thwow fowth :33 gweatew UwU themes 
For insurrection's awguing. 
MENENIUS. This >_> is x3 stwange. 
:3 MAWCIUS. Go get xDD you ^.^ home, xDD you xDD fwagments. 

Entew :3 a >_< MESSENGEW, OwO hastiwy 

x3 MESSENGEW. :3 Whewe's :3 Caius :33 Mawcius? 
:3 MAWCIUS. ;;w;; Hewe. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The nyews ;;w;; is, ^w^ siw, x3 the ;;w;; Vowsces OwO awe uWu in arms. 
:3 MAWCIUS. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad ^-^ on't; xDD then ^.^ we UwU shaww UwU ha' means to uWu vent 
Our :3 musty superfluity. :3 See, UwU ouw best uWu ewdews. 

Entew COMINyIUS, TITUS WAWTIUS, with othew SENATORS; 
JUNIUS BRUTUS ÚwÚ and x3 SICINyIUS ^.^ VEWUTUS 

uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ^w^ Mawcius, UwU 'tis true :3 that xDD you uWu have :3 watewy told UwU us: 
uWu The ;;w;; Vowsces OwO awe uWu in arms. 
:3 MAWCIUS. ^-^ They uWu have :3 a UwU weadew, 
Tullus >_< Aufidius, :3 that xDD wiww put xDD you to't. 
UwU I x3 sin uWu in >_> envying :33 his >_> nyobiwity; 
xDD And :3 wewe UwU I ;;w;; anything >_> but >_> what UwU I am, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ wish ;;w;; me >w< onwy he. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >_> You uWu have ÚwÚ fought :33 togethew? 
:3 MAWCIUS. ^.^ Wewe half to half x3 the wowwd ^.^ by x3 th' ;;w;; eaws, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he 
>_> Upon x3 my ^.^ pawty, ;;w;; I'd >_> wevowt, to >_< make 
Onwy x3 my UwU waws with ^.^ him. >w< He >_> is :3 a wion 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am OwO pwoud to UwU hunt. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Then, ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ Mawcius, 
uWu Attend ;;w;; upon Cominyius to these waws. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ^.^ It >_> is x3 youw xDD fowmew pwomise. 
:3 MAWCIUS. UwU Siw, >w< it is; 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am :33 constant. Titus xDD Wawtius, xDD thou 
>_> Shawt >_> see ;;w;; me >_> once ^.^ mowe strike uWu at :33 Tuwwus' ;;w;; face. 
What, awt xDD thou UwU stiff? ÚwÚ Stand'st out? 
uWu WAWTIUS. :3 Nyo, :3 Caius ^-^ Mawcius; 
I'll lean ;;w;; upon one :33 cwutch ÚwÚ and >w< fight with x3 t'othew 
Ere xDD stay x3 behind ÚwÚ this business. 
MENENIUS. >_< O, true ^w^ bwed! 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. uWu Youw >_< company to x3 th' Capitow; where, UwU I knyow, 
Our ÚwÚ gweatest ^w^ fwiends >_< attend >_> us. 
uWu WAWTIUS. :33 [To xDD COMINyIUS] xDD Wead xDD you :3 on. 
:33 [To OwO MAWCIUS] Follow ÚwÚ Cominyius; ^.^ we ^w^ must ;;w;; fowwow uWu you; 
x3 Wight ÚwÚ wowthy xDD you >w< pwiowity. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Noble ^.^ Mawcius! 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. :33 [To x3 the UwU Citizens] OwO Hence to x3 youw xDD homes; be ;;w;; gonye. 
:3 MAWCIUS. Nyay, wet them x3 fowwow. 
uWu The ;;w;; Vowsces uWu have much >w< cown: OwO take these OwO wats uWu thithew 
;;w;; To gnaw uWu theiw garners. xDD Wowshipfuw :3 mutinyeews, 
uWu Youw valour puts weww forth; pray x3 fowwow. 
:3 Ciitzens ^.^ steaw xDD away. Exeunt aww >_> but x3 SICINyIUS ÚwÚ and BRUTUS 
:3 SICINyIUS. Was OwO evew x3 man UwU so OwO pwoud >_< as >_> is ÚwÚ this :33 Mawcius? 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< He >_> has nyo UwU equaw. 
:3 SICINyIUS. x3 When ^.^ we :3 wewe OwO chosen tribunes fow x3 the ^w^ peopwe- 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< Mawk'd xDD you :33 his >_< wip ÚwÚ and uWu eyes? 
:3 SICINyIUS. Nyay, >_> but :33 his uWu taunts! 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu Being x3 mov'd, ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot ^-^ spawe to giwd x3 the gods. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Bemock x3 the :3 modest x3 moon. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu The xDD pwesent UwU waws devour x3 him! >w< He >_> is grown 
Too OwO pwoud to be UwU so ^w^ vawiant. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >w< Such :3 a nyatuwe, 
Tickled with ÚwÚ good uWu success, >_< disdains x3 the :3 shadow 
>_< Which ^.^ he :33 tweads on uWu at xDD nyoon. OwO But UwU I UwU do wonder 
ÚwÚ His :3 insowence ^.^ can >w< bwook to be :3 commanded 
;;w;; Undew Cominyius. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu Fame, uWu at x3 the which ^.^ he uWu aims- 
^w^ In ÚwÚ whom xDD awweady ^.^ he >_> is weww UwU gwac'd- ;;w;; cannyot 
uWu Bettew be hewd nor ^.^ mowe ^w^ attain'd than ^.^ by 
^-^ A :33 pwace bewow x3 the first; fow >_> what miscawwies 
Shall be x3 the general's ^w^ fauwt, ^w^ though ^.^ he x3 pewfowm 
;;w;; To x3 th' utmost of :3 a ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and ^-^ giddy UwU censuwe 
Will xDD then cwy x3 out of Marcius 'O, >_> if ^.^ he 
xDD Had :3 bownye x3 the xDD businyess!' 
:3 SICINyIUS. :33 Besides, >_> if ^.^ things OwO go weww, 
>_< Opinyion, :3 that UwU so >_< sticks on ^w^ Mawcius, UwU shaww 
Of :33 his demerits rob Cominyius. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< Come. 
>_> Hawf aww >_> Cominyius' honyouws OwO awe to ^w^ Mawcius, 
;;w;; Though Marcius xDD eawn'd them x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and aww :33 his :33 fauwts 
;;w;; To Marcius UwU shaww be honours, ^w^ though ÚwÚ indeed 
^w^ In ^.^ aught ^.^ he merit not. 
:3 SICINyIUS. :3 Wet's >w< hence ÚwÚ and hear 
How x3 the dispatch >_> is made, ÚwÚ and uWu in >_> what fashion, 
uWu Mowe than :33 his xDD singuwawity, ^.^ he xDD goes 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent OwO action. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Wet's >_> awong. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OwO Cowiowi. uWu The :33 Senyate ^.^ House. 

Entew OwO TUWWUS xDD AUFIDIUS with x3 SENyATOWS of ;;w;; Cowiowi 

uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. So, x3 youw opinyion ;;w;; is, >_< Aufidius, 
:33 That ;;w;; they of ÚwÚ Wome OwO awe ^w^ ent'wed uWu in UwU ouw uWu counsews 
xDD And ^.^ knyow >w< how ^.^ we ^-^ pwoceed. 
AUFIDIUS. Is >w< it nyot x3 youws? 
>_> What OwO evew uWu have :33 been xDD thought on uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< state 
:33 That couwd be ^.^ bwought to OwO bodiwy ;;w;; act ere ÚwÚ Wome 
xDD Had UwU ciwcumvention? 'Tis nyot fouw OwO days >_> gonye 
Since UwU I heard >w< thence; these OwO awe x3 the words- UwU I think 
UwU I uWu have x3 the >_> wettew >w< here;.yes, OwO hewe >w< it ^w^ is: 
[Weads] 'They uWu have OwO pwess'd :3 a x3 powew, >_> but >w< it >_> is nyot ÚwÚ knyown 
Whethew fow uWu east ow west. uWu The dearth >_> is gweat; 
uWu The OwO peopwe mutinyous; ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is wumouw'd, 
Cominyius, Marcius x3 youw ;;w;; owd enyemy, 
Who >_> is of ÚwÚ Wome xDD wowse hated than of UwU you, 
xDD And Titus xDD Wawtius, :3 a UwU most uWu vawiant Woman, 
;;w;; These >w< thwee lead on ÚwÚ this uWu pwepawation 
x3 Whithew UwU 'tis ;;w;; bent. :3 Most ÚwÚ wikewy UwU 'tis fow uWu you; 
Consider of ;;w;; it.' 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Our awmy's uWu in x3 the :3 fiewd; 
We >_< nyevew yet UwU made doubt >_> but ÚwÚ Wome UwU was ready 
;;w;; To answew >_> us. 
AUFIDIUS. x3 Nyow uWu did xDD you think >w< it >w< fowwy 
;;w;; To >_< keep x3 youw great uWu pwetences veil'd >w< tiww when 
^-^ They >_< nyeeds ^w^ must x3 show themselves; which uWu in x3 the x3 hatching, 
^.^ It ;;w;; seem'd, appear'd to xDD Wome. ^-^ By x3 the ^-^ discuvwy 
We UwU shaww be x3 showt'nyed uWu in UwU ouw >_< aim, which UwU was 
;;w;; To OwO take uWu in UwU many UwU towns ere almost ÚwÚ Wome 
Should ^.^ knyow ^.^ we :3 wewe UwU afoot. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. Noble >_< Aufidius, 
^.^ Take x3 youw UwU commission; hie xDD you to x3 youw ^-^ bands; 
Let >_> us awonye to xDD guawd OwO Cowiowi. 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they uWu set down xDD befowe's, fow x3 the remove 
Bring x3 up x3 youw ^w^ awmy; >_> but UwU I think you'ww find 
xDD Th' uWu have nyot pwepaw'd fow >_> us. 
AUFIDIUS. >_< O, doubt nyot >_< that! 
UwU I speak from cewtainties. Nyay >_> mowe, 
;;w;; Some x3 pawcews of uWu theiw powew OwO awe fowth already, 
xDD And >w< onwy hithewwawd. UwU I OwO weave x3 youw >_< honyouws. 
;;w;; If ^.^ we ÚwÚ and :3 Caius Marcius chance to ^w^ meet, 
'Tis sworn ^-^ between >_> us ^.^ we UwU shaww OwO evew strike 
Tiww one ^.^ can UwU do nyo more. 
uWu AWW. uWu The gods xDD assist you! 
AUFIDIUS. xDD And >_< keep x3 youw honyouws OwO safe! 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. uWu Faweweww. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. uWu Faweweww. 
uWu AWW. uWu Faweweww. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
xDD Wome. >w< MAWCIUS' ;;w;; house 

Entew >w< VOWUMNyIA ÚwÚ and >w< VIWGIWIA, mothew ÚwÚ and >w< wife to MARCIUS; 
;;w;; they uWu set them down on >w< two wow stoows ÚwÚ and uWu sew 

>_> VOWUMNyIA. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ daughtew, ^w^ sing, ow express >_> youwsewf uWu in :3 a ^.^ mowe 
>w< comfowtabwe >_< sowt. ;;w;; If x3 my >_< son :3 wewe x3 my ^.^ husband, UwU I >_> shouwd >_> fweewiew 
rejoice uWu in :3 that >w< absence wherein ^.^ he ^.^ won honour than uWu in x3 the 
:33 embwacements of :33 his x3 bed :3 whewe ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd x3 show UwU most love. x3 When yet 
^.^ he UwU was >_> but xDD tendew-bodied, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< onwy >_< son of x3 my womb; when :33 youth 
with >_< comewinyess ^w^ pwuck'd aww ÚwÚ gaze :33 his way; xDD when, fow :3 a day of 
kings' uWu entweaties, :3 a mothew >_> shouwd nyot ;;w;; seww ^.^ him >w< an >_> houw from her 
OwO behowding; I, ^-^ considewing >w< how honour ^.^ wouwd :33 become xDD such :3 a xDD pewson- 
:3 that >w< it UwU was nyo xDD bettew than UwU pictuwe-wike to ^w^ hang ^.^ by x3 th' :3 waww, >_> if 
renown UwU made >w< it nyot xDD stiw- UwU was pleas'd to wet ^.^ him >_> seek danger :3 whewe 
^.^ he UwU was to find ^w^ fame. ;;w;; To :3 a UwU cwuew >w< waw UwU I sent :3 him, from >_> whence ^.^ he 
wetuwn'd :33 his ^w^ bwows bound with ^-^ oak. UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ daughtew, UwU I 
^-^ spwang nyot ^.^ mowe uWu in joy uWu at xDD fiwst hearing ^.^ he UwU was :3 a man-child than 
nyow uWu in xDD fiwst ^-^ seeing ^.^ he xDD had >_> pwuvd >_< himsewf :3 a man. 
VIRGILIA. OwO But xDD had ^.^ he >w< died uWu in x3 the business, UwU madam, >w< how ^w^ then? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. UwU Then :33 his ÚwÚ good wepowt >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been x3 my son; UwU I thewein 
^.^ wouwd uWu have >_> found UwU issue. >w< Heaw ;;w;; me pwofess sincerely: xDD had UwU I :3 a ^.^ dozen 
sons, >_< each uWu in x3 my wuv xDD awike, ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye less uWu deaw than ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ and x3 my 
ÚwÚ good ^w^ Mawcius, UwU I xDD had rather xDD had eleven ^-^ die ;;w;; nyobwy fow uWu theiw countwy 
than one x3 vowuptuouswy suwfeit x3 out of OwO action. 

Entew :3 a UwU GENTWEWOMAN 

:33 GENTWEWOMAN. uWu Madam, x3 the xDD Wady :3 Vawewia >_> is come to x3 visit OwO you. 
VIRGILIA. Beseech xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to uWu wetiwe :3 mysewf. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. :33 Indeed xDD you UwU shaww not. 
Methinks UwU I hear ÚwÚ hithew x3 youw husband's uWu dwum; 
xDD See ^.^ him pluck Aufidius down ^.^ by x3 th' ^-^ haiw; 
;;w;; As x3 chiwdwen from :3 a >_> beaw, x3 the ;;w;; Vowsces shunnying ^.^ him. 
Methinks UwU I >_> see ^.^ him stamp thus, ÚwÚ and caww thus: 
^.^ 'Come ;;w;; on, xDD you cowawds! >_> You :3 wewe ^w^ got uWu in ;;w;; feaw, 
;;w;; Though xDD you :3 wewe bown uWu in Wome.' ÚwÚ His bwoody ^w^ bwow 
With :33 his xDD maiw'd uWu hand xDD then ;;w;; wiping, fowth ^.^ he :33 goes, 
Wike to :3 a >w< hawvest-man ^w^ that's ;;w;; task'd to ÚwÚ mow 
:33 Ow aww ow wose :33 his :33 hiwe. 
VIRGILIA. ÚwÚ His bwoody bwow? x3 O Jupiter, nyo UwU bwood! 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. :33 Away, xDD you foow! ^.^ It ^.^ mowe x3 becomes :3 a x3 man 
Than gilt :33 his >w< twophy. uWu The breasts of Hecuba, 
x3 When ^.^ she uWu did ^.^ suckwe Hectow, >_> wook'd nyot wuvwiew 
Than :33 Hectow's forehead when >w< it spit fowth :3 bwood 
At Grecian uWu swowd, uWu contemnying. Teww :3 Vawewia 
We OwO awe ;;w;; fit to bid her x3 wewcome. uWu Exit UwU GENTWEWOMAN 
VIRGILIA. ^w^ Heavens ;;w;; bwess x3 my ;;w;; wowd from UwU feww :33 Aufidius! 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. ^-^ He'ww xDD beat x3 Aufidius' >_> head bewow :33 his knyee 
xDD And ;;w;; twead ;;w;; upon :33 his ;;w;; nyeck. 

^.^ We-entew x3 GENTWEWOMAN, With >_> VAWEWIA ÚwÚ and >w< an ushew 

xDD VAWEWIA. OwO My ^.^ wadies xDD both, ÚwÚ good day to OwO you. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. ÚwÚ Sweet madam! 
VIRGILIA. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see x3 youw ladyship. 
xDD VAWEWIA. How UwU do xDD you ^-^ both? >_> You OwO awe UwU manyifest housekeepews. >_> What OwO awe 
xDD you >_> sewing hewe? ^-^ A OwO finye ^.^ spot, uWu in ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ faith. How does x3 youw xDD wittwe 
uWu son? 
VIRGILIA. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw wadyship; weww, ÚwÚ good UwU madam. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >w< He xDD had rather >_> see x3 the :33 swowds ÚwÚ and hear :3 a drum than wook 
;;w;; upon :33 his schoolmaster. 
xDD VAWEWIA. UwU O' x3 my word, x3 the father's ^w^ son! I'll >_< sweaw UwU 'tis :3 a xDD vewy 
OwO pwetty uWu boy. UwU O' x3 my troth, UwU I >_> wook'd ;;w;; upon ^.^ him :3 a >w< Wednyesday half >w< an 
>_> houw together; >_> has xDD such :3 a >w< confiwm'd :3 countenyance! UwU I saw ^.^ him >w< wun 
ÚwÚ aftew :3 a :3 giwded butterfly; ÚwÚ and when ^.^ he caught >w< it ^.^ he wet >w< it OwO go 
OwO again, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ aftew >w< it OwO again, ÚwÚ and uvw ÚwÚ and uvw ^.^ he ;;w;; comes, ÚwÚ and x3 up 
OwO again, UwU catch'd >w< it again; ow >w< whethew :33 his faww ^-^ enwag'd :3 him, ow >w< how 
>_> 'twas, ^.^ he uWu did UwU so uWu set :33 his teeth ÚwÚ and teaw :3 it. >_< O, UwU I warrant, >w< how ^.^ he 
:33 mammock'd :3 it! 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. x3 Onye UwU on's father's >_> moods. 
xDD VAWEWIA. >w< Indeed, la, UwU 'tis :3 a x3 nyobwe :33 chiwd. 
VIRGILIA. ^-^ A xDD cwack, UwU madam. 
xDD VAWEWIA. ^.^ Come, uWu way :3 aside x3 youw stitchery; UwU I ^w^ must uWu have xDD you :33 pway x3 the 
idle uWu huswife with ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this aftewnyoon. 
VIRGILIA. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ good x3 madam; UwU I xDD wiww nyot x3 out of x3 doows. 
xDD VAWEWIA. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 out of >w< doows! 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. :33 She UwU shaww, ^.^ she >_< shaww. 
VIRGILIA. >w< Indeed, no, ^.^ by x3 youw >_> patience; I'll nyot uvw x3 the thweshowd 
>w< tiww x3 my ;;w;; wowd ^-^ wetuwn from x3 the waws. 
xDD VAWEWIA. OwO Fie, xDD you UwU confinye >_> youwsewf UwU most unweasonyabwy; come, xDD you 
^w^ must OwO go x3 visit x3 the ÚwÚ good uWu wady :3 that wies ^.^ in. 
VIRGILIA. UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ wish her UwU speedy >_< stwength, ÚwÚ and x3 visit her with x3 my 
pwayews; >_> but UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO go xDD thithew. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Why, UwU I pray you? 
VIRGILIA. 'Tis nyot to :3 save wabouw, nor :3 that UwU I ^.^ want love. 
xDD VAWEWIA. >_> You ^.^ wouwd be anyothew Penelope; yet ;;w;; they >_> say aww x3 the ^w^ yawn 
^.^ she ^w^ spun uWu in Uwysses' >w< absence uWu did >_> but ^w^ fiww OwO Ithaca full of ÚwÚ moths. 
^.^ Come, UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw :33 cambwic :3 wewe ^-^ sensibwe >_< as x3 youw finger, :3 that xDD you 
^w^ might OwO weave pricking >w< it fow >_> pity. ^.^ Come, xDD you UwU shaww OwO go with >_> us. 
VIRGILIA. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ good UwU madam, UwU pawdon OwO me; ÚwÚ indeed UwU I xDD wiww nyot forth. 
xDD VAWEWIA. ^w^ In truth, la, OwO go with OwO me; ÚwÚ and I'll tell xDD you :3 excewwent nyews 
of x3 youw husband. 
VIRGILIA. >_< O, ÚwÚ good UwU madam, there ^.^ can be >_< nyonye >_> yet. 
xDD VAWEWIA. >w< Vewiwy, UwU I UwU do nyot xDD jest with uWu you; there ^-^ came nyews from ^.^ him 
>w< wast OwO nyight. 
VIRGILIA. >w< Indeed, :33 madam? 
xDD VAWEWIA. ^w^ In earnest, x3 it's true; UwU I heard :3 a senyatow speak :3 it. ^-^ Thus >w< it 
^w^ is: x3 the ;;w;; Vowsces uWu have >w< an ^.^ awmy forth; OwO against ÚwÚ whom Cominyius x3 the 
general >_> is >w< gonye, with one ÚwÚ pawt of UwU ouw Roman UwU powew. uWu Youw ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and 
Titus :3 Wawtius OwO awe uWu set down >w< befowe uWu theiw UwU city Cowiowi; ;;w;; they 
>_< nyothing doubt prevailing ÚwÚ and to >_< make >w< it bwief waws. This >_> is ^-^ twue, 
on >_< minye honour; ÚwÚ and >_> so, UwU I pray, OwO go with >_> us. 
VIRGILIA. Give ;;w;; me excuse, ÚwÚ good x3 madam; UwU I xDD wiww UwU obey xDD you uWu in evewything 
x3 heweaftew. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Let her ^-^ awonye, ;;w;; wady; >_< as ^.^ she >_> is now, ^.^ she xDD wiww >_> but ÚwÚ disease 
UwU ouw xDD bettew mirth. 
xDD VAWEWIA. ^w^ In troth, UwU I think ^.^ she would. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, UwU then. ^.^ Come, 
ÚwÚ good x3 sweet >_> wady. Prithee, Viwgiwia, turn >w< thy solemness x3 out ^.^ o' 
doow ÚwÚ and OwO go :3 awong with >_> us. 
VIRGILIA. :3 Nyo, uWu at :3 a word, x3 madam; ÚwÚ indeed UwU I ^w^ must not. UwU I ÚwÚ wish xDD you much 
mirth. 
xDD VAWEWIA. Weww >w< then, farewell. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
^.^ Befowe ;;w;; Cowiowi 

Entew ^w^ MAWCIUS, TITUS WAWTIUS, with drum ÚwÚ and cowouws, 
with uWu CAPTAINS ÚwÚ and soldiers. ;;w;; To them :3 a MESSENGEW 

:3 MAWCIUS. Yondew x3 comes nyews; :3 a wagew- ;;w;; they uWu have ÚwÚ met. 
uWu WAWTIUS. OwO My UwU howse to OwO youws- >w< nyo. 
:3 MAWCIUS. 'Tis ^-^ donye. 
uWu WAWTIUS. OwO Agweed. 
:3 MAWCIUS. Say, >_> has UwU ouw general >w< met x3 the enyemy? 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^-^ They >_< wie uWu in ^.^ view, >_> but uWu have nyot ^-^ spoke >_< as >_> yet. 
uWu WAWTIUS. So, x3 the ÚwÚ good UwU howse >_> is ^w^ minye. 
:3 MAWCIUS. I'll UwU buy ^.^ him of OwO you. 
uWu WAWTIUS. :3 Nyo, I'll nor ;;w;; seww nor UwU give him; xDD wend xDD you ^.^ him UwU I xDD wiww 
For half :3 a :3 hundwed years. ^.^ Summon x3 the xDD town. 
:3 MAWCIUS. How uWu faw x3 off >_< wie these armies? 
x3 MESSENGEW. OwO Within ÚwÚ this miwe ÚwÚ and :33 hawf. 
:3 MAWCIUS. UwU Then UwU shaww ^.^ we hear uWu theiw 'larum, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they >_> ouws. 
>_> Nyow, :33 Maws, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, >_< make >_> us ^w^ quick uWu in work, 
:33 That ^.^ we with >_< smoking :33 swowds OwO may :33 mawch from >w< hence 
;;w;; To OwO hewp UwU ouw fiewded ÚwÚ fwiends! ^.^ Come, ^w^ bwow >w< thy bwast. 

^-^ They >_> sound :3 a >_< pawwey. Entew >w< two x3 SENyATOWS with ^w^ othews, 
on x3 the OwO wawws of ;;w;; Cowiowi 

Tullus >_< Aufidius, >_> is ^.^ he within x3 youw OwO wawws? 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. :3 Nyo, nor :3 a x3 man :3 that OwO feaws xDD you less than :33 he: 
>w< That's wessew than :3 a ^.^ wittwe. [Drum afaw off] Hawk, UwU ouw xDD dwums 
^w^ Awe x3 bwinging fowth UwU ouw >_< youth. ^-^ We'ww bweak UwU ouw OwO wawws 
Rather than ;;w;; they UwU shaww ;;w;; pound >_> us xDD up; UwU ouw ^.^ gates, 
>_< Which yet xDD seem ^w^ shut, ^.^ we uWu have >_> but UwU pinn'd with wushes; 
x3 They'ww open of x3 themsewves. [Alarum uWu faw off] ^.^ Hawk xDD you uWu faw off! 
>_> Thewe >_> is Aufidius. >_> Wist >_> what ^.^ wowk ^.^ he x3 makes 
^-^ Amongst x3 youw x3 cwuvn army. 
:3 MAWCIUS. >_< O, ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu at :3 it! 
uWu WAWTIUS. ^-^ Theiw noise be UwU ouw :3 instwuction. >w< Waddews, ho! 

Entew x3 the ^.^ awmy of x3 the ;;w;; Vowsces 

:3 MAWCIUS. ^-^ They feaw >_> us >_> nyot, >_> but x3 issue fowth uWu theiw >_> city. 
Now put x3 youw shields >w< befowe x3 youw hearts, ÚwÚ and >w< fight 
With heawts ^.^ mowe xDD pwoof than ^w^ shiewds. ^.^ Advance, >_< bwave ^.^ Titus. 
^-^ They UwU do ^-^ disdain >_> us much ^w^ beyond UwU ouw thoughts, 
>_< Which x3 makes ;;w;; me UwU sweat with wrath. :3 Come ;;w;; on, x3 my fellows. 
>w< He :3 that x3 wetiwes, I'll OwO take ^.^ him fow :3 a Vowsce, 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww x3 feew >_< minye x3 edge. 

;;w;; Awawum. uWu The Romans OwO awe xDD beat back to uWu theiw x3 twenches. 
^.^ We-entew ^w^ MAWCIUS, ^-^ cuwsing 

:3 MAWCIUS. All x3 the OwO contagion of x3 the south >w< wight on UwU you, 
>_> You UwU shames of Wome! xDD you hewd of- ;;w;; Boiws ÚwÚ and plagues 
>_< Pwastew xDD you uWu o'ew, :3 that xDD you OwO may be >_> abhoww'd 
ÚwÚ Fawthew than uWu seen, ÚwÚ and one ÚwÚ infect anyothew 
^w^ Against x3 the wind :3 a ^-^ miwe! >_> You >w< souws of ^.^ geese 
:33 That UwU beaw x3 the >w< shapes of men, >w< how uWu have xDD you >w< wun 
Fwom xDD swaves :3 that >_< apes ^.^ wouwd xDD beat! ^w^ Pwuto ÚwÚ and >_< heww! 
All ÚwÚ huwt >w< behind! x3 Backs ;;w;; wed, ÚwÚ and faces pawe 
With :33 fwight ÚwÚ and UwU agued ÚwÚ feaw! Mend ÚwÚ and :3 chawge ^.^ home, 
:3 Ow, ^.^ by x3 the fiwes of ^.^ heaven, I'll OwO weave x3 the foe 
xDD And >_< make x3 my UwU waws on OwO you. Wook to't. :3 Come xDD on; 
;;w;; If you'ww stand ÚwÚ fast we'll xDD beat them to uWu theiw ^-^ wives, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they >_> us to UwU ouw x3 twenches. Follow x3 me. 

ÚwÚ Anyothew awawum. uWu The ;;w;; Vowsces fly, ÚwÚ and >_< MAWCIUS xDD fowwows 
them to x3 the :3 gates 

So, nyow x3 the :3 gates OwO awe ope; nyow ^-^ pwuv ÚwÚ good seconds; 
'Tis fow x3 the ÚwÚ fowwowews :3 fowtunye widens ÚwÚ them, 
ÚwÚ Nyot fow x3 the ^.^ fwiews. >_> Mawk uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU do x3 the >_> wike. 

>_< [MAWCIUS ;;w;; entews x3 the ÚwÚ gates] 

uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. Foow-hawdinyess; nyot ^.^ I. 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ I. >_< [MAWCIUS >_> is shut in] 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. :3 See, ;;w;; they uWu have shut ^.^ him ^.^ in. 
uWu AWW. ;;w;; To x3 th' pot, UwU I :33 wawwant ^.^ him. [Alarum continyues] 

^.^ We-entew TITUS ^w^ WAWTIUS 

uWu WAWTIUS. >_> What >_> is :33 become of :33 Mawcius? 
uWu AWW. Slain, ^w^ siw, doubtless. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. :33 Fowwowing x3 the ^w^ fwiews uWu at x3 the xDD vewy heews, 
With them ^.^ he ^.^ entews; who, ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 sudden, 
OwO Cwapp'd to uWu theiw gates. >w< He >_> is >_< himsewf ^-^ awonye, 
;;w;; To answew aww x3 the >_> city. 
uWu WAWTIUS. x3 O x3 nyobwe xDD fewwow! 
Who ^-^ sensibwy outdares :33 his senseless uWu swowd, 
xDD And when >w< it bows OwO stand'st :33 up. ^.^ Thou awt uWu weft, ^-^ Mawcius; 
^-^ A cawbuncwe entiwe, >_< as big >_< as xDD thou awt, 
^.^ Wewe nyot UwU so rich :3 a jewel. ^.^ Thou >w< wast :3 a soldier 
Even to ^.^ Cato's wish, nyot >_< fiewce ÚwÚ and tewwibwe 
Onwy uWu in ;;w;; stwokes; >_> but with >w< thy gwim :33 wooks ÚwÚ and 
uWu The thundew-wike :3 pewcussion of >w< thy sounds 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; mad'st ^.^ thinye >_< enyemies ;;w;; shake, >_< as >_> if x3 the wowwd 
^.^ Wewe feverous ÚwÚ and uWu did ^w^ twembwe. 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ MAWCIUS, uWu bweeding, assaulted ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; enyemy 

uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. x3 Wook, sir. 
uWu WAWTIUS. >_< O, UwU 'tis ^.^ Mawcius! 
:3 Wet's :3 fetch ^.^ him ^w^ off, ow >_< make wemain alike. 
^w^ [They x3 fight, ÚwÚ and aww enter x3 the ÚwÚ city] 




>w< SCENyE V. 
OwO Within OwO Cowiowi. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew xDD cewtain uWu Womans, with UwU spoiws 

uWu FIWST WOMAN. This xDD wiww UwU I carry to xDD Wome. 
^w^ SECOND WOMAN. xDD And UwU I UwU this. 
^w^ THIWD WOMAN. ^-^ A ^.^ muwwain on ÚwÚ 't! UwU I >_> took ÚwÚ this fow uWu siwvew. 
[Alarum continues still afaw off] 

Entew >_< MAWCIUS ÚwÚ and TITUS ^w^ WAWTIUS With :3 a >w< twumpetew 

:3 MAWCIUS. xDD See OwO hewe these ^w^ muvws :3 that UwU do >w< pwize uWu theiw >_> houws 
At :3 a >_< cwack'd OwO dwachma! xDD Cushions, weaden uWu spoons, 
Iwons of :3 a doit, doubwets :3 that ^-^ hangmen ^.^ wouwd 
^.^ Buwy with UwU those :3 that ÚwÚ wowe ÚwÚ them, these UwU base swaves, 
Ere yet x3 the >w< fight be :33 donye, OwO pack :33 up. xDD Down with >w< them! 
Exeunt pillagers 
xDD And hark, >_> what noise x3 the general uWu makes! ;;w;; To x3 him! 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 the x3 man of x3 my x3 souw's hate, >_< Aufidius, 
Piercing UwU ouw Romans; >w< then, uWu vawiant >w< Titus, OwO take 
Convenyient xDD nyumbews to >_< make ÚwÚ good x3 the >_> city; 
Whilst I, with UwU those :3 that uWu have x3 the ^-^ spiwit, xDD wiww ^.^ haste 
;;w;; To OwO hewp Cominyius. 
uWu WAWTIUS. Wowthy ^w^ siw, xDD thou xDD bweed'st; 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ exewcise hath :33 been ^w^ too :3 viowent 
For :3 a second course of ^w^ fight. 
:3 MAWCIUS. UwU Siw, praise ;;w;; me x3 nyot; 
OwO My ^.^ wowk hath yet nyot x3 wawm'd x3 me. >w< Fawe xDD you well; 
uWu The :3 bwood UwU I >_< dwop >_> is rather x3 physicaw 
Than uWu dangewous to x3 me. ;;w;; To Aufidius OwO thus 
UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ appeaw, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fight. 
uWu WAWTIUS. Now x3 the >w< faiw xDD goddess, ÚwÚ Fowtunye, 
Fall >_> deep uWu in wuv with ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and her great chawms 
Misguide >w< thy ^-^ opposews' swowds! Bowd gentweman, 
OwO Pwospewity be >w< thy page! 
:3 MAWCIUS. x3 Thy :33 fwiend nyo less 
Than UwU those ^.^ she :3 pwaceth OwO highest! ^w^ So farewell. 
uWu WAWTIUS. ^.^ Thou x3 wowthiest ^.^ Mawcius! uWu Exit >_< MAWCIUS 
Go >_> sound >w< thy ÚwÚ twumpet uWu in x3 the mawket-pwace; 
;;w;; Caww uWu thithew aww x3 the ^w^ officews ^.^ o' x3 th' xDD town, 
Whewe ;;w;; they UwU shaww ^.^ knyow UwU ouw :33 mind. >_> Away! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
Near x3 the ÚwÚ camp of COMINIUS 

Entew COMINyIUS, >_< as >w< it :3 wewe uWu in wetiwe, with ^-^ sowdiews 

^w^ COMINyIUS. Bweathe UwU you, x3 my fwiends. Weww ^w^ fought; ^.^ we OwO awe come x3 off 
Wike uWu Womans, :3 nyeithew >_< foowish uWu in UwU ouw >w< stands 
x3 Nyow >w< cowawdwy uWu in x3 wetiwe. :3 Bewieve uWu me, sirs, 
We UwU shaww be :3 chawg'd ;;w;; again. Whiwes ^.^ we uWu have struck, 
^-^ By ^-^ intewims ÚwÚ and conveying xDD gusts ^.^ we uWu have heard 
uWu The chawges of UwU ouw fwiends. uWu The Roman uWu gods, 
xDD Wead uWu theiw successes >_< as ^.^ we ÚwÚ wish UwU ouw OwO own, 
:33 That both UwU ouw x3 powews, with x3 smiwing fronts ;;w;; encount'wing, 
^-^ May UwU give xDD you >w< thankfuw ÚwÚ sacwifice! 

Entew ^-^ A MESSENGEW 

x3 Thy nyews? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The :3 citizens of ;;w;; Cowiowi uWu have :33 issued 
xDD And UwU given to :3 Wawtius ÚwÚ and to Marcius uWu battwe; 
UwU I saw UwU ouw party to uWu theiw trenches driven, 
xDD And xDD then UwU I ^-^ came xDD away. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ;;w;; Though xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st truth, 
Methinks xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st nyot well. How ^-^ wong :3 is't :33 since? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Abuv >w< an ^-^ houw, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. 'Tis nyot :3 a ^.^ miwe; briefly ^.^ we heard uWu theiw OwO dwums. 
How ^w^ couwdst xDD thou uWu in :3 a miwe confound >w< an ^-^ houw, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing >w< thy nyews UwU so uWu wate? 
x3 MESSENGEW. UwU Spies of x3 the ;;w;; Vowsces 
Hewd ;;w;; me uWu in uWu chase, :3 that UwU I UwU was ;;w;; fowc'd to wheew 
Thwee ow fouw >_< miwes >_> about; >_> ewse xDD had I, ^w^ siw, 
>_> Hawf >w< an >_> houw xDD since ^.^ bwought x3 my report. 

Entew >_< MAWCIUS 

^w^ COMINyIUS. Who's yonder 
:33 That does appeaw >_< as ^.^ he :3 wewe flay'd? x3 O ^-^ gods! 
>w< He >_> has x3 the stamp of ^w^ Mawcius, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have 
ÚwÚ Befowe-time :3 seen ^.^ him OwO thus. 
:3 MAWCIUS. :3 Come UwU I ^w^ too uWu wate? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. uWu The xDD shephewd xDD knyows nyot >_> thundew from :3 a tabow 
uWu Mowe than UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the >_> sound of Marcius' >_> tongue 
Fwom every >w< meanyew man. 
:3 MAWCIUS. :3 Come UwU I ^w^ too uWu wate? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Ay, >_> if xDD you come nyot uWu in x3 the :3 bwood of ^w^ othews, 
OwO But mantwed uWu in x3 youw own. 
:3 MAWCIUS. :3 O! wet ;;w;; me cwip OwO ye 
^w^ In :3 awms >_< as >_> sound >_< as when UwU I ^w^ woo'd, uWu in >_< heawt 
;;w;; As ^.^ mewwy >_< as when UwU ouw >w< nyuptiaw day UwU was :33 donye, 
xDD And tapews burn'd to :33 bedwawd. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. :3 Fwowew of ÚwÚ wawwiows, 
How :3 is't with Titus ^-^ Wawtius? 
:3 MAWCIUS. ;;w;; As with :3 a x3 man ;;w;; busied about decrees: 
x3 Condemnying x3 some to :33 death ÚwÚ and x3 some to ^-^ exiwe; 
Ransoming ^.^ him ow pitying, threat'ning x3 th' >w< othew; 
Holding ;;w;; Cowiowi uWu in x3 the xDD nyame of ÚwÚ Wome 
Even ^.^ wike :3 a uWu fawnying gweyhound uWu in x3 the ;;w;; weash, 
;;w;; To wet ^.^ him swip uWu at :33 wiww. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Whewe >_> is :3 that ;;w;; swave 
>_< Which told ;;w;; me ;;w;; they xDD had xDD beat xDD you to x3 youw trenches? 
Whewe >_> is uWu he? ;;w;; Caww ^.^ him hithew. 
:3 MAWCIUS. Let ^.^ him ^.^ awonye; 
>w< He uWu did infowm x3 the truth. OwO But fow UwU ouw xDD gentwemen, 
uWu The ^w^ common fiwe- :3 a UwU pwague! tribunes fow >w< them! 
uWu The ^-^ mouse ^w^ nye'ew ;;w;; shunn'd x3 the :33 cat >_< as ;;w;; they uWu did :3 budge 
Fwom ^-^ wascaws xDD wowse than OwO they. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. OwO But >w< how pwevaiw'd you? 
:3 MAWCIUS. Will x3 the time serve to teww? UwU I UwU do nyot UwU think. 
Whewe >_> is x3 the enyemy? ^w^ Awe xDD you wowds ^.^ o' x3 th' field? 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, >w< why xDD cease xDD you >w< tiww xDD you OwO awe so? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ^w^ Mawcius, 
We uWu have uWu at disadvantage :33 fought, ÚwÚ and uWu did 
Retire to x3 win UwU ouw puwpose. 
:3 MAWCIUS. How wies uWu theiw :3 battwe? xDD Knyow xDD you on which x3 side 
^-^ They uWu have pwac'd uWu theiw ;;w;; men of twust? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ;;w;; As UwU I ÚwÚ guess, ^w^ Mawcius, 
^-^ Theiw ^.^ bands :33 i' x3 th' uWu vawawd OwO awe x3 the ^w^ Antiates, 
Of uWu theiw best twust; ^-^ o'ew them >_< Aufidius, 
^-^ Theiw xDD vewy >_< heawt of ^-^ hope. 
:3 MAWCIUS. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, 
^-^ By aww x3 the :3 battwes wherein ^.^ we uWu have :33 fought, 
^-^ By x3 th' :3 bwood ^.^ we uWu have x3 shed together, ^.^ by x3 th' x3 vows 
We uWu have UwU made to OwO enduwe OwO fwiends, :3 that xDD you xDD diwectwy 
Set ;;w;; me OwO against Aufidius ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 Antiates; 
xDD And :3 that xDD you nyot deway x3 the ÚwÚ pwesent, but, 
Filling x3 the ^w^ aiw with :33 swowds >w< advanc'd ÚwÚ and ^w^ dawts, 
We ^-^ pwuv ÚwÚ this xDD vewy hour. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ;;w;; Though UwU I couwd ÚwÚ wish 
>_> You :3 wewe :3 conducted to :3 a ^-^ gentwe xDD bath 
xDD And uWu bawms ^-^ appwied to UwU you, yet dawe UwU I >_< nyevew 
>w< Deny x3 youw uWu asking: OwO take x3 youw UwU choice of UwU those 
:33 That best ^.^ can >_> aid x3 youw OwO action. 
:3 MAWCIUS. >w< Those OwO awe ;;w;; they 
:33 That UwU most OwO awe ^w^ wiwwing. ;;w;; If xDD any xDD such be here- 
;;w;; As >w< it :3 wewe x3 sin to xDD doubt- :3 that wuv ÚwÚ this OwO painting 
^-^ Whewein xDD you >_> see ;;w;; me smear'd; >_> if xDD any feaw 
ÚwÚ Wessew :33 his ÚwÚ pewson than >w< an :33 iww >w< wepowt; 
;;w;; If xDD any think >_< bwave :33 death >_> outweighs :33 bad >w< wife 
xDD And :3 that :33 his >_> countwy's ÚwÚ deawew than :33 himsewf; 
Let ^.^ him ^-^ awonye, ow UwU so UwU many UwU so UwU minded, 
:3 Wave OwO thus to express :33 his uWu disposition, 
xDD And ;;w;; fowwow ÚwÚ Mawcius. ^w^ [They aww >_> shout ÚwÚ and x3 wave uWu theiw 
swowds, OwO take ^.^ him x3 up uWu in uWu theiw :3 awms ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cast x3 up uWu theiw :33 caps] 
>_< O, ;;w;; me awonye! ^-^ Make xDD you :3 a xDD swowd of me? 
;;w;; If these >_< shows be nyot outwawd, which of xDD you 
OwO But >_> is fouw Vowsces? ^-^ Nyonye of xDD you >_> but >_> is 
>w< Abwe to UwU beaw OwO against x3 the great Aufidius 
^-^ A OwO shiewd >_< as x3 hawd >_< as ÚwÚ his. ^-^ A xDD cewtain number, 
;;w;; Though thanks to all, ^w^ must UwU I select from aww; x3 the xDD west 
Shall UwU beaw x3 the business uWu in x3 some othew x3 fight, 
;;w;; As cause xDD wiww be ^-^ obey'd. ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you to march; 
xDD And fouw UwU shaww quickly dwaw x3 out x3 my >_> command, 
>_< Which ;;w;; men OwO awe best >_> incwin'd. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. March ;;w;; on, x3 my UwU fewwows; 
^-^ Make ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ this >_> ostentation, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww 
Divide uWu in aww with >_> us. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
uWu The :3 gates of ;;w;; Cowiowi 

TITUS WAWTIUS, xDD having uWu set :3 a xDD guawd ;;w;; upon Corioli, x3 going with drum ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twumpet 
toward COMINIUS ÚwÚ and >_> CAIUS ^w^ MAWCIUS, ;;w;; entews with :3 a WIEUTENyANT, othew xDD sowdiews, 
ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; scout 

uWu WAWTIUS. So, wet x3 the ports be ^-^ guawded; >_< keep x3 youw >_> duties 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have uWu set them down. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do send, dispatch 
>w< Those centuries to UwU ouw aid; x3 the xDD west xDD wiww serve 
For :3 a showt holding. ;;w;; If ^.^ we wose x3 the field 
We ;;w;; cannyot >_< keep x3 the xDD town. 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. Fear nyot UwU ouw care, sir. 
uWu WAWTIUS. Hence, ÚwÚ and shut x3 youw :3 gates >_> upon's. 
Our guidew, >_< come; to x3 th' Roman ÚwÚ camp ÚwÚ conduct >_> us. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_< VIII. 
^-^ A field of ÚwÚ battwe ^-^ between x3 the Roman ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; Vowscian >_> camps 

x3 Awawum, >_< as uWu in ^.^ battwe. Entew >_< MAWCIUS ÚwÚ and xDD AUFIDIUS uWu at sevewaw x3 doows 

:3 MAWCIUS. I'll >w< fight with >_< nyonye >_> but ÚwÚ thee, fow UwU I UwU do ^-^ hate uWu thee 
Wowse than :3 a >_> pwomise-bweakew. 
AUFIDIUS. We ^-^ hate OwO awike: 
ÚwÚ Nyot UwU Afwic owns :3 a serpent UwU I abhow 
uWu Mowe than >w< thy fame ÚwÚ and envy. >_> Fix >w< thy ^-^ foot. 
:3 MAWCIUS. Let x3 the xDD fiwst ÚwÚ budgew ^-^ die x3 the ;;w;; othew's :33 swave, 
xDD And x3 the gods >_< doom ^.^ him ^w^ aftew! 
AUFIDIUS. ;;w;; If UwU I fly, ^w^ Mawcius, 
Hawwoa ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; hawe. 
:3 MAWCIUS. OwO Within these >w< thwee houws, ^-^ Tuwwus, 
uWu Awonye UwU I ÚwÚ fought uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; Cowiowi walls, 
xDD And UwU made >_> what ^.^ wowk UwU I pweas'd. 'Tis nyot x3 my :3 bwood 
^-^ Whewein xDD thou seest ;;w;; me ^.^ mask'd. For >w< thy xDD wevenge 
Wrench x3 up >w< thy powew to x3 th' highest. 
AUFIDIUS. :33 Wewt xDD thou x3 the >_> Hectow 
:33 That UwU was x3 the whip of x3 youw ^.^ bwagg'd >_< pwogeny, 
^.^ Thou shouwdst nyot ;;w;; scape ;;w;; me hewe. 

:3 Hewe ;;w;; they x3 fight, ÚwÚ and xDD cewtain ;;w;; Vowsces come uWu in x3 the >_> aid 
of AUFIDIUS. >_< MAWCIUS >_< fights >w< tiww ;;w;; they be driven uWu in 
^w^ bweathwess 

Officious, ÚwÚ and nyot valiant, xDD you uWu have ;;w;; sham'd ;;w;; me 
^w^ In x3 youw condemnyed >_> seconds. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE xDD IX. 
uWu The Roman ÚwÚ camp 

>w< Fwouwish. ;;w;; Awawum. ^-^ A ;;w;; wetweat >_> is ÚwÚ sounded. OwO Entew, uWu at one door, 
COMINIUS with x3 the Romans; uWu at anyothew door, ^w^ MAWCIUS, with :33 his awm uWu in :3 a scarf 

^w^ COMINyIUS. ;;w;; If UwU I >_> shouwd tell uWu thee ^-^ o'ew ÚwÚ this >w< thy day's work, 
:3 Thou't nyot ^-^ bewieve >w< thy ^-^ deeds; >_> but I'll wepowt >w< it 
Whewe :3 senyatows UwU shaww mingwe tears with ÚwÚ smiwes; 
Whewe great :33 patwicians UwU shaww >w< attend, ÚwÚ and :33 shwug, 
xDD I' x3 th' >w< end ;;w;; admiwe; :3 whewe ^.^ wadies UwU shaww be frighted 
^.^ And, gwadwy ^-^ quak'd, hear mowe; :3 whewe x3 the dull :33 twibunyes, 
:33 That with x3 the :3 fusty plebeians ^-^ hate ^.^ thinye honours, 
Shall >_> say OwO against uWu theiw heawts ÚwÚ 'We >_> thank x3 the gods 
Our ÚwÚ Wome hath xDD such :3 a sowdiew.' 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD cam'st xDD thou to :3 a mowsew of ÚwÚ this OwO feast, 
>_> Having fuwwy ÚwÚ din'd befowe. 

Entew TITUS WAWTIUS, with :33 his x3 powew, from x3 the pursuit 

uWu WAWTIUS. x3 O Genyewaw, 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 the >w< steed, ^.^ we x3 the x3 capawison. 
UwU Hadst xDD thou >_< behewd- 
:3 MAWCIUS. >_> Pway now, nyo mowe; x3 my :33 mothew, 
Who >_> has :3 a ÚwÚ chawtew to uWu extow her bwood, 
x3 When ^.^ she does praise ;;w;; me grieves x3 me. UwU I uWu have donye 
;;w;; As xDD you uWu have xDD donye- ^w^ that's >_> what UwU I can; ^w^ induc'd 
;;w;; As xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ been- ^w^ that's fow x3 my country. 
>w< He :3 that >_> has >_> but :33 effected :33 his ÚwÚ good xDD wiww 
>_< Hath overta'en >_< minye act. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >_> You UwU shaww nyot be 
uWu The :3 gwave of x3 youw desewving; ÚwÚ Wome ^w^ must ^.^ knyow 
uWu The value of her own. uWu 'Twewe :3 a ^.^ conceawment 
Wowse than :3 a ^w^ theft, nyo less than :3 a traducement, 
;;w;; To hide x3 youw ^-^ doings ÚwÚ and to :3 siwence :3 that 
>_< Which, to x3 the spire ÚwÚ and ;;w;; top of pwaises ;;w;; vouch'd, 
Wouwd xDD seem >_> but >w< modest. >_< Thewefowe, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
^w^ In xDD sign of >_> what xDD you awe, nyot to wewawd 
>_> What xDD you uWu have :33 donye, >w< befowe UwU ouw ^.^ awmy hear x3 me. 
:3 MAWCIUS. UwU I uWu have x3 some wounds ;;w;; upon uWu me, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they ^-^ smawt 
;;w;; To hear x3 themsewves x3 wememb'wed. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Should ;;w;; they >_> nyot, 
Weww ^w^ might ;;w;; they fester uWu 'gainst ingratitude 
xDD And ^w^ tent x3 themsewves with death. Of aww x3 the :33 howses- 
:3 Wheweof ^.^ we uWu have >_> ta'en UwU good, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good ;;w;; stowe- of aww 
uWu The treasure uWu in ÚwÚ this field ÚwÚ achiev'd ÚwÚ and city, 
We render xDD you x3 the tenth; to be >_> ta'en fowth 
^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ common distribution uWu at 
uWu Youw >w< onwy >w< choice. 
:3 MAWCIUS. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, Genyewaw, 
OwO But ;;w;; cannyot >_< make x3 my >_< heawt >_< consent to OwO take 
^-^ A bribe to x3 pay x3 my ^-^ swowd. UwU I UwU do refuse :33 it, 
xDD And stand ;;w;; upon x3 my ^w^ common ÚwÚ pawt with UwU those 
:33 That uWu have beheld x3 the doing. 

^-^ A ^-^ wong UwU fwouwish. ^-^ They aww cwy >_> 'Mawcius, xDD Mawcius!' 
;;w;; cast x3 up uWu theiw caps ÚwÚ and :33 wances. COMINIUS ÚwÚ and ^w^ WAWTIUS stand OwO bawe 

^-^ May these same instwuments which xDD you uWu pwofanye 
xDD Nyevew >_> sound uWu mowe! x3 When xDD dwums ÚwÚ and trumpets UwU shaww 
xDD I' x3 th' field ^-^ pwuv fwattewews, wet couwts ÚwÚ and ^w^ cities be 
Made aww of OwO fawse-fac'd uWu soothing. x3 When steew gwows 
xDD Soft >_< as x3 the xDD pawasite's siwk, wet ^.^ him be UwU made 
^-^ An ^.^ uvwtuwe fow x3 th' waws. No >_> mowe, UwU I :3 say. 
For :3 that UwU I uWu have nyot >w< wash'd x3 my x3 nyose :3 that bwed, 
:33 Ow x3 foiw'd x3 some >_< debiwe :3 wwetch, which ^-^ without ^-^ nyote 
>_> Hewe's UwU many >_> ewse uWu have :33 donye, xDD you >_> shout ;;w;; me fowth 
^w^ In >_> accwamations hypewbowicaw, 
;;w;; As >_> if UwU I :3 wov'd x3 my xDD wittwe >_> shouwd be ;;w;; dieted 
^w^ In pwaises :33 sauc'd with uWu wies. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Too :3 modest OwO awe uWu you; 
uWu Mowe UwU cwuew to x3 youw ÚwÚ good wepowt than >_< gwatefuw 
;;w;; To >_> us :3 that UwU give xDD you UwU twuwy. ^-^ By x3 youw patience, 
;;w;; If uWu 'gainst >_> youwsewf xDD you be uWu incens'd, we'll put :3 you- 
Wike one :3 that means :33 his OwO pwopew harm- uWu in >w< manyacwes, 
UwU Then reason >w< safewy with OwO you. Therefore be >w< it ^-^ knyown, 
;;w;; As to us, to aww x3 the ^w^ wowwd, :3 that :3 Caius Marcius 
xDD Weaws ÚwÚ this waw's gawwand; uWu in ;;w;; token of x3 the ^w^ which, 
OwO My x3 nyobwe >w< steed, ÚwÚ knyown to x3 the :3 camp, UwU I UwU give :3 him, 
With aww :33 his ÚwÚ twim x3 bewonging; ÚwÚ and from ÚwÚ this time, 
For >_> what ^.^ he uWu did >w< befowe Corioli, ^.^ can ^.^ him 
With aww x3 th' ÚwÚ appwause-and ^-^ cwamouw of x3 the >_< host, 
:3 Caius Marcius Coriolanus. 
ÚwÚ Beaw x3 th' >w< addition ;;w;; nyobwy evew! 
[Flourish. Twumpets sound, ÚwÚ and ^-^ dwums] 
uWu AWW. :3 Caius Marcius Cowiowanyus! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I xDD wiww OwO go wash; 
xDD And when x3 my OwO face >_> is >w< faiw xDD you UwU shaww >_> pewceive 
Whethew UwU I bwush ow >w< nyo. xDD Howbeit, UwU I >_> thank uWu you; 
UwU I >_> mean to stwide x3 youw >w< steed, ÚwÚ and uWu at aww times 
;;w;; To undercrest x3 youw ÚwÚ good >w< addition 
;;w;; To x3 th' OwO faiwnyess of x3 my UwU powew. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. So, to UwU ouw ^w^ tent; 
UwU Whewe, ere ^.^ we UwU do wepose us, ^.^ we xDD wiww >w< wwite 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ Wome of UwU ouw OwO success. >_< You, Titus xDD Wawtius, 
:3 Must to ;;w;; Cowiowi back. >_< Send >_> us to ÚwÚ Wome 
uWu The ^w^ best, with ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we OwO may :3 awticuwate 
For uWu theiw UwU own ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and >_> ouws. 
uWu WAWTIUS. UwU I UwU shaww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu The gods x3 begin to ÚwÚ mock x3 me. I, :3 that nyow 
>w< Wefus'd UwU most princely ;;w;; gifts, ^w^ am bound to ÚwÚ beg 
Of x3 my Lord :33 Genyewaw. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ^.^ Take't- UwU 'tis OwO youws; >_> what is't? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I ÚwÚ sometime uWu way OwO hewe uWu in ;;w;; Cowiowi 
At :3 a poor :33 man's ^.^ house; ^.^ he ;;w;; us'd ;;w;; me >w< kindwy. 
>w< He cried to OwO me; UwU I saw ^.^ him prisoner; 
OwO But xDD then Aufidius UwU was within x3 my ^.^ view, 
xDD And >_> wwath o'erwhelm'd x3 my >_> pity. UwU I request xDD you 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 my poor host freedom. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >_< O, weww xDD begg'd! 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ he x3 the ;;w;; butchew of x3 my x3 son, ^.^ he >_> shouwd 
^w^ Be fwee >_< as >_> is x3 the ^.^ wind. Deliver :3 him, ^.^ Titus. 
uWu WAWTIUS. ^w^ Mawcius, :33 his :3 nyame? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^-^ By Jupiter, >_> fowgot! 
UwU I ^w^ am >_> weawy; >w< yea, x3 my ^w^ memowy >_> is xDD tiw'd. 
:3 Have ^.^ we nyo winye hewe? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Go ^.^ we to UwU ouw uWu tent. 
uWu The :3 bwood ;;w;; upon x3 youw >w< visage ^w^ dwies; UwU 'tis time 
^.^ It >_> shouwd be >_> wook'd ;;w;; to. >w< Come. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< X. 
uWu The ÚwÚ camp of x3 the ;;w;; Vowsces 

^-^ A UwU fwouwish. ^-^ Cownyets. Entew OwO TUWWUS xDD AUFIDIUS x3 bwoody, with >w< two ow >w< thwee ^-^ sowdiews 

AUFIDIUS. uWu The :33 town >_> is :33 ta'en. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. 'Twiww be :33 dewivew'd back on ÚwÚ good UwU condition. 
AUFIDIUS. OwO Condition! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe :3 a Roman; fow UwU I cannot, 
uWu Being :3 a Vowsce, be :3 that UwU I am. Condition? 
>_> What ÚwÚ good condition ^.^ can :3 a ^w^ tweaty find 
xDD I' x3 th' ÚwÚ pawt :3 that >_> is uWu at mercy? :3 Five xDD times, ^w^ Mawcius, 
UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ fought with ÚwÚ thee; UwU so often x3 hast xDD thou xDD beat OwO me; 
xDD And wouldst UwU do >_> so, UwU I >_< think, >_> shouwd ^.^ we x3 encountew 
;;w;; As often >_< as ^.^ we ^.^ eat. ^-^ By x3 th' ewements, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; e'ew again UwU I :3 meet ^.^ him ^w^ beawd to UwU beawd, 
He's >_< minye ow UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ his. Mine ;;w;; emuwation 
>_< Hath nyot :3 that honour OwO in't >w< it uWu had; fow :3 whewe 
UwU I xDD thought to xDD cwush ^.^ him uWu in >w< an equal fowce, 
;;w;; Twue xDD swowd to uWu swowd, I'll xDD potch uWu at ^.^ him x3 some :3 way, 
:33 Ow >_> wwath ow cwaft OwO may get ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. He's x3 the deviw. 
AUFIDIUS. :3 Bowdew, ^w^ though nyot UwU so :3 subtwe. OwO My :33 vawouw's OwO poison'd 
With >w< onwy ÚwÚ suff'wing stain ^.^ by him; fow ^.^ him 
Shall fwy x3 out of itself. x3 Nyow :33 sweep nor ^w^ sanctuawy, 
uWu Being nyaked, :33 sick, nor ^-^ fanye nor Capitol, 
uWu The >_< pwayews of priests nor times of sacrifice, 
:3 Embawquements aww of ^w^ fuwy, UwU shaww lift x3 up 
^-^ Theiw wotten OwO pwiviwege ÚwÚ and ;;w;; custom uWu 'gainst 
OwO My ^-^ hate to ÚwÚ Mawcius. Whewe UwU I find :3 him, :3 wewe >w< it 
At ^.^ home, ;;w;; upon x3 my brother's guawd, even thewe, 
^w^ Against x3 the hospitable ÚwÚ canyon, ^.^ wouwd UwU I 
Wash x3 my >_< fiewce uWu hand in's ;;w;; heawt. Go xDD you to x3 th' >_> city; 
;;w;; Weawn >w< how UwU 'tis x3 hewd, ÚwÚ and >_> what ;;w;; they OwO awe :3 that ^w^ must 
^w^ Be x3 hostages fow xDD Wome. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. Will nyot xDD you >w< go? 
AUFIDIUS. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ attended uWu at x3 the cypwess grove; UwU I pray :3 you- 
'Tis south x3 the UwU city >w< miwws- ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd uWu thithew 
How x3 the wowwd :33 goes, :3 that to x3 the >_> pace of >w< it 
UwU I OwO may ^w^ spuw on x3 my jouwnyey. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. UwU I UwU shaww, sir. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew MENENIUS, with x3 the >w< two ÚwÚ Twibunyes of x3 the >_> peopwe, x3 SICINyIUS ÚwÚ and BRUTUS 

MENENIUS. uWu The x3 auguwew uWu tewws ;;w;; me ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have nyews tonight. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ Good ow >_> bad? 
MENENIUS. ÚwÚ Nyot accowding to x3 the :3 pwayew of x3 the >_> peopwe, fow ;;w;; they wuv 
nyot ÚwÚ Mawcius. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ÚwÚ Nyatuwe teaches x3 beasts to ^.^ knyow uWu theiw fwiends. 
MENENIUS. >_> Pway UwU you, who does x3 the OwO wowf love? 
:3 SICINyIUS. uWu The >w< wamb. 
MENENIUS. Ay, to devour :3 him, >_< as x3 the hungwy plebeians ^.^ wouwd x3 the 
x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ Mawcius. 
^w^ BWUTUS. He's :3 a :3 wamb :33 indeed, :3 that :33 baes ^.^ wike :3 a bear. 
MENENIUS. He's :3 a UwU beaw :33 indeed, :3 that ;;w;; wives fike :3 a >w< wamb. >_> You >w< two OwO awe 
;;w;; owd ÚwÚ men; tell ;;w;; me one ^.^ thing :3 that UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ ask OwO you. 
x3 BOTH uWu TWIBUNyES. xDD Weww, sir. 
MENENIUS. ^w^ In >_> what OwO enyowmity >_> is Marcius poor uWu in :3 that xDD you >w< two uWu have nyot 
uWu in UwU abundance? 
^w^ BWUTUS. He's poor uWu in nyo one ^w^ fauwt, >_> but ^.^ stow'd with all. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >w< Especiawwy uWu in pwide. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD And topping aww ;;w;; othews uWu in boasting. 
MENENIUS. This >_> is ;;w;; stwange now. Do xDD you >w< two ^.^ knyow >w< how xDD you OwO awe censured 
OwO hewe uWu in x3 the city- UwU I >_> mean of >_> us ^.^ o' x3 th' ^-^ wight-hand fiwe? Do you? 
x3 BOTH uWu TWIBUNyES. Why, >w< how OwO awe ^.^ we censuw'd? 
MENENIUS. >_< Because xDD you tawk of >_< pwide x3 nyow- xDD wiww xDD you nyot be ^.^ angwy? 
x3 BOTH uWu TWIBUNyES. xDD Weww, weww, ^w^ siw, well. 
MENENIUS. Why, UwU 'tis nyo great mattew; fow :3 a xDD vewy xDD wittwe UwU thief of 
;;w;; occasion xDD wiww rob xDD you of :3 a great deal of OwO patience. Give x3 youw 
^w^ dispositions x3 the :3 weins, ÚwÚ and be angry uWu at x3 youw :33 pweasuwes- uWu at x3 the 
least, >_> if xDD you OwO take >w< it >_< as :3 a :3 pweasuwe to xDD you uWu in ^.^ being :3 so. >_> You uWu bwame 
Marcius fow ^.^ being ÚwÚ pwoud? 
^w^ BWUTUS. We UwU do >w< it nyot ^-^ awonye, sir. 
MENENIUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you ^.^ can UwU do xDD vewy xDD wittwe ^.^ awonye; fow x3 youw helps OwO awe 
UwU many, ow >_> ewse x3 youw ;;w;; actions ^.^ wouwd gwow wondwous singwe: x3 youw 
abilities OwO awe ^w^ too >_> infant-wike fow xDD doing much >_< awonye. >_> You tawk of 
pwide. x3 O :3 that xDD you couwd turn x3 youw eyes toward x3 the napes of x3 youw 
ÚwÚ nyecks, ÚwÚ and >_< make >_> but >w< an intewiow ;;w;; suwvey of x3 youw ÚwÚ good >_< sewves! x3 O 
:3 that xDD you UwU couwd! 
x3 BOTH uWu TWIBUNyES. >_> What >w< then, UwU siw? 
MENENIUS. Why, xDD then xDD you >_> shouwd OwO discuvw :3 a ;;w;; bwace of :33 unmewiting, 
:3 pwoud, viowent, testy magistwates-awias foows- >_< as xDD any uWu in xDD Wome. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^-^ Menyenyius, xDD you OwO awe ÚwÚ knyown weww enough UwU too. 
MENENIUS. UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ knyown to be :3 a humorous >w< patwician, ÚwÚ and one :3 that loves 
:3 a >w< cup of :3 hot winye with nyot :3 a >_< dwop of awwaying >_< Tibew in't; uWu said to 
be ^-^ something ^w^ impewfect uWu in xDD favouwing x3 the xDD fiwst ^-^ compwaint, >_> hasty 
ÚwÚ and UwU tindew-wike ;;w;; upon ^w^ too OwO twiviaw >w< motion; one :3 that converses ^.^ mowe 
with x3 the ^.^ buttock of x3 the >w< nyight than with x3 the forehead of x3 the 
xDD mownying. >_> What UwU I think UwU I utter, ÚwÚ and spend x3 my malice uWu in x3 my >_< bweath. 
Meeting >w< two xDD such ;;w;; weawsmen >_< as xDD you awe- UwU I ;;w;; cannyot caww xDD you 
^.^ Wycuwguses- >_> if x3 the ÚwÚ dwink xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me :33 touch x3 my palate OwO advewsewy, UwU I 
>_< make :3 a crooked OwO face uWu at :3 it. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> say x3 youw worships uWu have 
:33 dewivew'd x3 the ;;w;; mattew weww, when UwU I find x3 the >w< ass uWu in ÚwÚ compound with 
x3 the xDD majow ÚwÚ pawt of x3 youw sywwabwes; ÚwÚ and ^w^ though UwU I ^w^ must be :3 content to 
UwU beaw with UwU those :3 that >_> say xDD you OwO awe reverend :3 gwave men, yet ;;w;; they >_< wie 
deadwy :3 that tell xDD you xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ good UwU faces. ;;w;; If xDD you >_> see ÚwÚ this uWu in x3 the 
^.^ map of x3 my x3 micwocosm, xDD fowwows >w< it :3 that UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ knyown weww enough xDD too? 
>_> What x3 hawm ^.^ can x3 youw x3 bisson conspectuities >_< gwean x3 out of ÚwÚ this 
:3 chawactew, >_> if UwU I be ÚwÚ knyown weww enough xDD too? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, come, ^.^ we ^.^ knyow xDD you weww enyough. 
MENENIUS. >_> You ^.^ knyow :3 nyeithew uWu me, ^w^ youwsewves, nor xDD any >_> thing. >_> You OwO awe 
:3 ambitious fow poor ;;w;; knyaves' caps ÚwÚ and wegs; xDD you ^-^ weaw x3 out :3 a ÚwÚ good 
whowesome uWu fowenyoon uWu in hearing :3 a cause ^-^ between >w< an xDD owange-wife ÚwÚ and 
:3 a UwU fosset-sewwew, ÚwÚ and xDD then rejourn x3 the controversy of thweepence 
to :3 a second day of audience. x3 When xDD you OwO awe hearing :3 a ;;w;; mattew 
^-^ between party ÚwÚ and ^.^ pawty, >_> if xDD you chance to be ;;w;; pinch'd with x3 the 
cowic, xDD you >_< make faces ^.^ wike >_> mummews, uWu set x3 up x3 the bwoody flag 
OwO against aww patience, x3 and, uWu in xDD woawing fow :3 a chamber-pot, dismiss 
x3 the controversy uWu bweeding, x3 the ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ entangwed ^.^ by x3 youw ;;w;; heawing. All 
x3 the uWu peace xDD you >_< make uWu in uWu theiw cause >_> is x3 cawwing both x3 the ;;w;; pawties 
>_> knyaves. >_> You OwO awe :3 a :33 paiw of ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ onyes. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ Come, come, xDD you OwO awe weww ^-^ undewstood to be :3 a :33 pewfectew OwO gibew 
fow x3 the tabwe than :3 a ^.^ nyecessawy bencher uWu in x3 the Capitol. 
MENENIUS. Our xDD vewy priests ^w^ must :33 become >_> mockews, >_> if ;;w;; they UwU shaww 
x3 encountew xDD such ^w^ widicuwous subjects >_< as xDD you x3 awe. x3 When xDD you speak 
best >w< unto x3 the xDD puwpose, >w< it >_> is nyot ^.^ wowth x3 the >_< wagging of x3 youw 
>w< beawds; ÚwÚ and x3 youw beards OwO desewve nyot UwU so ^.^ honyouwabwe :3 a :3 gwave >_< as to 
^w^ stuff :3 a botcher's >_> cushion ow to be uWu entomb'd uWu in >w< an ass's 
pack-saddwe. ÚwÚ Yet xDD you ^w^ must be :3 saying Marcius >_> is ^.^ pwoud; who, uWu in :3 a 
cheap ^w^ estimation, >_> is ^.^ wowth aww x3 youw ^w^ pwedecessows xDD since ÚwÚ Deucawion; 
^w^ though pewadventuwe x3 some of x3 the best of x3 'em :3 wewe heweditawy 
>_< hangmen. :33 God-den to x3 youw worships. uWu Mowe of x3 youw ^w^ convewsation 
^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ infect x3 my :3 bwain, ^.^ being x3 the ^-^ hewdsmen of x3 the OwO beastwy 
plebeians. UwU I xDD wiww be bold to OwO take x3 my OwO weave of OwO you. 
[BWUTUS ÚwÚ and x3 SICINyIUS OwO go aside] 

Entew OwO VOWUMNyIA, >w< VIWGIWIA, ÚwÚ and >_> VAWEWIA 

How now, x3 my >_< as >w< faiw >_< as x3 nyobwe ladies- ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; moon, :3 wewe ^.^ she 
xDD eawthwy, nyo nyobwew- :33 whithew UwU do xDD you ;;w;; fowwow x3 youw eyes UwU so fast? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. :3 Honyouwabwe ^-^ Menyenyius, x3 my ;;w;; boy Marcius :3 appwoaches; fow x3 the 
wuv of >_< Junyo, >_> wet's ÚwÚ go. 
MENENIUS. uWu Ha! Marcius xDD coming ^w^ home? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Ay, ÚwÚ wowthy ^-^ Menyenyius, ÚwÚ and with UwU most :33 pwospewous 
approbation. 
MENENIUS. ^.^ Take x3 my xDD cap, Jupiter, ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> thank thee. >_> Hoo! 
Marcius xDD coming x3 home! 
OwO VOWUMNyIA, VIRGILIA. Nyay, UwU 'tis true. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. x3 Wook, hewe's :3 a >_> wettew from him; x3 the >w< state hath another, 
:33 his >w< wife another; ÚwÚ and UwU I think there's one uWu at ^.^ home fow OwO you. 
MENENIUS. UwU I xDD wiww >_< make x3 my xDD vewy ;;w;; house x3 weew to-night. ^-^ A >_> wettew fow me? 
VIRGILIA. Yes, cewtain, there's :3 a >_> wettew fow uWu you; UwU I ^w^ saw't. 
MENENIUS. ^-^ A >_> wettew fow me! ^.^ It ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me >w< an estate of ÚwÚ seven >_> yeaws' 
health; uWu in which time UwU I xDD wiww >_< make :3 a >_< wip uWu at x3 the physician. uWu The 
UwU most suvweign prescription uWu in ÚwÚ Gawen >_> is >_> but empiwicutic x3 and, to 
ÚwÚ this xDD pwesewvative, of nyo xDD bettew wepowt than :3 a xDD howse-dwench. Is ^.^ he 
nyot wounded? >w< He UwU was UwU wont to come ^.^ home wounded. 
VIRGILIA. >_< O, no, no, >w< nyo. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >_< O, ^.^ he >_> is ÚwÚ wounded, UwU I >_> thank x3 the gods xDD fow't. 
MENENIUS. ^w^ So UwU do UwU I :3 too, >_> if >w< it be nyot ^w^ too :33 much. Bwings :3 a OwO victowy uWu in 
:33 his ^w^ pocket? uWu The wounds :33 become ^.^ him. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. On's brows, ^-^ Menyenyius, ^.^ he x3 comes x3 the thiwd time ^.^ home with 
x3 the UwU oaken gawwand. 
MENENIUS. x3 Has ^.^ he discipwin'd Aufidius ÚwÚ soundwy? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Titus :3 Wawtius >_< wwites ;;w;; they ÚwÚ fought together, >_> but Aufidius 
^w^ got off. 
MENENIUS. xDD And uWu 'twas time fow ^.^ him :3 too, I'll :33 wawwant ^.^ him :33 that; >w< an ^.^ he 
xDD had OwO stay'd ^.^ by :3 him, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have :33 been UwU so xDD fidius'd fow aww x3 the 
uWu chests uWu in ;;w;; Cowiowi ÚwÚ and x3 the gowd ^w^ that's uWu in OwO them. Is x3 the :33 Senyate 
>_< possess'd of :3 this? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. ^-^ Good x3 wadies, >_> wet's ÚwÚ go. Yes, :3 yes, ^w^ yes: x3 the :33 Senyate >_> has 
x3 wettews from x3 the general, wherein ^.^ he ;;w;; gives x3 my >_< son x3 the whole xDD nyame 
of x3 the UwU waw; ^.^ he hath uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu action outdonye :33 his xDD fowmew >_< deeds 
doubwy. 
xDD VAWEWIA. ^w^ In troth, there's wondwous ^.^ things ^-^ spoke of ^.^ him. 
MENENIUS. Wondwous! Ay, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, ÚwÚ and nyot ^-^ without :33 his true 
puwchasing. 
VIRGILIA. uWu The gods gwant them ^-^ twue! 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. True! >w< pow, waw. 
MENENIUS. True! I'll be sworn ;;w;; they OwO awe true. Whewe >_> is ^.^ he wounded? 
:33 [To x3 the ÚwÚ TWIBUNyES] ^w^ God :3 save x3 youw ÚwÚ good xDD wowships! Marcius >_> is xDD coming 
ÚwÚ home; ^.^ he >_> has ^.^ mowe cause to be :3 pwoud. Whewe >_> is ^.^ he wounded? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. xDD I' x3 th' shoulder ÚwÚ and :33 i' x3 th' left OwO awm; there xDD wiww be large 
>_> cicatwices to x3 show x3 the OwO peopwe when ^.^ he UwU shaww stand fow :33 his ;;w;; pwace. 
>w< He uWu weceived uWu in x3 the x3 wepuwse of >_> Tawquin ÚwÚ seven OwO huwts :33 i' x3 th' body. 
MENENIUS. x3 Onye :33 i' x3 th' x3 nyeck ÚwÚ and >w< two :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ thigh- there's >w< nyinye :3 that UwU I 
:33 knyow. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >w< He xDD had >w< befowe ÚwÚ this >w< wast ÚwÚ expedition OwO twenty-five wounds 
;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
MENENIUS. Now x3 it's ÚwÚ twenty-seven; every gash UwU was >w< an ÚwÚ enyemy's x3 gwave. 
:3 [A >_> shout ÚwÚ and flourish] :33 Hawk! x3 the x3 twumpets. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. ;;w;; These OwO awe x3 the ;;w;; ushews of ÚwÚ Mawcius. ^.^ Befowe ^.^ him ^.^ he xDD cawwies 
noise, ÚwÚ and x3 behind ^.^ him ^.^ he >w< weaves teaws; 
Death, :3 that dark ^-^ spiwit, in's nervy awm xDD doth wie, 
>_< Which, ^.^ being advanc'd, declines, ÚwÚ and xDD then ;;w;; men die. 

^-^ A sennet. Twumpets UwU sound. Entew COMINIUS x3 the 
x3 GENyEWAW, ÚwÚ and TITUS LARTIUS; ^-^ between ÚwÚ them, 
OwO COWIOWANyUS, cwown'd with >w< an UwU oaken gawwand; with 
uWu CAPTAINS ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu HEWAWD 

HEWAWD. Knyow, ^w^ Wome, :3 that aww awonye Marcius uWu did >w< fight 
OwO Within ;;w;; Cowiowi ^.^ gates, :3 whewe ^.^ he hath >_> won, 
With x3 fame, :3 a xDD nyame to :3 Caius ^-^ Mawcius; these 
^w^ In honour xDD fowwows Coriolanus. 
Welcome to ^w^ Wome, uWu wenyownyed Cowiowanyus! [Flourish] 
uWu AWW. Welcome to ^w^ Wome, uWu wenyownyed Cowiowanyus! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. No ^.^ mowe of uWu this, >w< it does ^-^ offend x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
>_> Pway now, nyo more. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. x3 Wook, ^w^ siw, x3 youw mothew! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_< O, 
>_> You have, UwU I knyow, ^-^ petition'd aww x3 the gods 
For x3 my prosperity! >_< [Knyeews] 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Nyay, x3 my ÚwÚ good sowdiew, xDD up; 
OwO My ^-^ gentwe ^w^ Mawcius, ÚwÚ wowthy Caius, ÚwÚ and 
^-^ By ^-^ deed-achieving honour x3 nyewwy >_< nyam'd- 
>_> What >_> is :33 it? Cowiowanyus ^w^ must UwU I ^.^ can thee? 
But, >_< O, >w< thy wife! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. OwO My >_> gwacious siwence, ^.^ haiw! 
Wouldst xDD thou uWu have >_< waugh'd xDD had UwU I come OwO coffin'd ^.^ home, 
:33 That :33 weep'st to >_> see ;;w;; me >w< twiumph? xDD Ah, x3 my deaw, 
>w< Such eyes x3 the widows uWu in ;;w;; Cowiowi OwO weaw, 
xDD And mothews :3 that ^.^ wack >w< sons. 
MENENIUS. Now x3 the gods >_< cwown uWu thee! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. xDD And ^w^ wive xDD you :33 yet? :33 [To ^-^ VAWEWIA] x3 O x3 my x3 sweet UwU wady, 
pardon. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :3 whewe to x3 tuwn. 
>_< O, wewcome x3 home! xDD And ;;w;; wewcome, :33 Genyewaw. 
xDD And ;;w;; y'awe wewcome all. 
MENENIUS. ^-^ A :3 hundwed thousand welcomes. UwU I couwd xDD weep 
xDD And UwU I couwd OwO waugh; UwU I ^w^ am >w< wight ÚwÚ and heavy. x3 Wewcome! 
^-^ A UwU cuwse x3 begin uWu at xDD vewy ^.^ woot UwU on's >_< heawt 
:33 That >_> is nyot uWu gwad to >_> see uWu thee! >_> You OwO awe >w< thwee 
:33 That ÚwÚ Wome >_> shouwd >_> dote xDD on; ^w^ yet, ^.^ by x3 the :33 faith of men, 
We uWu have x3 some ;;w;; owd cwab trees OwO hewe uWu at ^.^ home :3 that xDD wiww nyot 
^w^ Be uWu gwafted to x3 youw x3 wewish. ÚwÚ Yet ;;w;; wewcome, warriors. 
We caww :3 a nettle >_> but :3 a xDD nyettwe, ÚwÚ and 
uWu The :33 fauwts of foows >_> but ^w^ fowwy. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ^w^ Evew ÚwÚ wight. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^-^ Menyenyius ever, ever. 
HEWAWD. Give uWu way thewe, ÚwÚ and OwO go :3 on. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :33 [To :33 his >w< wife ÚwÚ and mother] uWu Youw uWu hand, ÚwÚ and x3 youws. 
Ere uWu in UwU ouw UwU own ;;w;; house UwU I UwU do shade x3 my head, 
uWu The ÚwÚ good :33 patwicians ^w^ must be uWu visited; 
Fwom ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu have weceiv'd nyot >w< onwy UwU gweetings, 
OwO But with them change of >_< honyouws. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. UwU I uWu have >_< wived 
;;w;; To >_> see inhewited x3 my xDD vewy wishes, 
xDD And x3 the buiwdings of x3 my fancy; >w< onwy 
>_> Thewe's one ^.^ thing wanting, which UwU I doubt nyot >_> but 
Our ÚwÚ Wome xDD wiww ;;w;; cast ;;w;; upon thee. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Knyow, ÚwÚ good :33 mothew, 
UwU I xDD had rather be uWu theiw xDD sewvant uWu in x3 my uWu way 
Than xDD sway with them uWu in theirs. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ÚwÚ On, to x3 the Capitol. 
[Flourish. ^-^ Cownyets. Exeunt uWu in state, >_< as befowe] 

BRUTUS ÚwÚ and x3 SICINyIUS come forward 

^w^ BWUTUS. All tongues speak of ^.^ him ÚwÚ and x3 the bleared uWu sights 
^w^ Awe spectacwed to >_> see ^.^ him. uWu Youw :33 pwattwing nyuwse 
^.^ Into :3 a UwU waptuwe wets her baby cwy 
While ^.^ she chats him; x3 the ^-^ kitchen malkin pins 
:3 Hew wichest x3 wockwam 'bout her >_< weechy neck, 
^.^ Cwamb'wing x3 the OwO wawws to ^w^ eye him; ;;w;; stawws, buwks, ÚwÚ windows, 
^w^ Awe smother'd up, weads :3 fiww'd ÚwÚ and ;;w;; widges hors'd 
With ^.^ vawiabwe compwexions, aww :33 agweeing 
^w^ In >_> eawnyestnyess to >_> see ^.^ him. ;;w;; Sewd-shown fwamens 
Do x3 pwess ^-^ among x3 the :33 popuwaw x3 thwongs ÚwÚ and puff 
;;w;; To x3 win :3 a uWu vuwgaw >_> station; UwU ouw veil'd ÚwÚ dames 
^-^ Commit x3 the >w< waw of ^-^ white ÚwÚ and >_< damask uWu in 
^-^ Theiw nyicewy >w< gawded >_> cheeks to x3 th' >_< wanton :33 spoiw 
Of x3 Phoebus' ^.^ buwnying ÚwÚ kisses. >w< Such :3 a pother, 
;;w;; As >_> if :3 that ^-^ whatsoevew god who weads ^.^ him 
^.^ Wewe slily x3 cwept x3 into :33 his human x3 powews, 
xDD And uWu gave ^.^ him ^.^ gwacefuw posture. 
:3 SICINyIUS. On x3 the ^.^ sudden 
UwU I :33 wawwant ^.^ him consul. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Then UwU ouw ^.^ office OwO may 
^w^ Duwing :33 his powew OwO go OwO sweep. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot temp'rately transport :33 his honyouws 
Fwom :3 whewe ^.^ he >_> shouwd x3 begin ÚwÚ and ^w^ end, >_> but xDD wiww 
>_< Wose UwU those ^.^ he hath uWu won. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^w^ In :3 that there's UwU comfowt. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Doubt nyot 
uWu The >_> commonyews, fow ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we x3 stand, >_> but ;;w;; they 
>_> Upon uWu theiw UwU ancient malice xDD wiww x3 fowget 
With x3 the least cause these :33 his x3 nyew ^w^ honyouws; which 
:33 That ^.^ he xDD wiww UwU give them >_< make UwU I >_< as xDD wittwe ;;w;; question 
;;w;; As ^.^ he >_> is OwO pwoud to >_< do't. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I heard ^.^ him x3 sweaw, 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ he to stand fow consul, >_< nyevew ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he 
Appear :33 i' x3 th' mawket-pwace, nor on ^.^ him put 
uWu The xDD nyapwess ^.^ vestuwe of humility; 
Nor, :33 showing, >_< as x3 the ^w^ mannyew ;;w;; is, :33 his wounds 
;;w;; To x3 th' >_> peopwe, ÚwÚ beg uWu theiw >w< stinking bweaths. 
:3 SICINyIUS. 'Tis ÚwÚ wight. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ It UwU was :33 his OwO wowd. >_< O, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; miss >w< it rather 
Than carry >w< it >_> but ^.^ by x3 the >_> suit of x3 the ÚwÚ gentwy to ^.^ him 
xDD And x3 the ^.^ desiwe of x3 the >_> nyobwes. 
:3 SICINyIUS. UwU I ÚwÚ wish nyo xDD bettew 
Than uWu have ^.^ him howd :3 that xDD puwpose, ÚwÚ and to put >w< it 
^w^ In xDD execution. 
^w^ BWUTUS. 'Tis UwU most ^.^ wike ^.^ he :33 wiww. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^.^ It UwU shaww be to ^.^ him xDD then >_< as UwU ouw ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ wiwws: 
^-^ A >_< suwe ^.^ destwuction. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^w^ So >w< it ^w^ must faww x3 out 
;;w;; To ^.^ him ow UwU ouw authorities. For >w< an ^w^ end, 
We ^w^ must ^.^ suggest x3 the OwO peopwe uWu in >_> what >_< hatwed 
>w< He still hath hewd OwO them; :3 that to's powew ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd 
:3 Have UwU made them x3 muwes, silenc'd uWu theiw UwU pweadews, ÚwÚ and 
Dispropertied uWu theiw UwU fweedoms; uWu howding them 
^w^ In human uWu action ÚwÚ and ;;w;; capacity 
Of nyo ^.^ mowe :3 souw nor ^.^ fitnyess fow x3 the wowwd 
Than camels uWu in uWu theiw waw, who uWu have uWu theiw pwovand 
Onwy fow :33 beawing ^-^ buwdens, ÚwÚ and ^w^ sowe ^w^ bwows 
For sinking :33 undew OwO them. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >w< This, >_< as xDD you say, uWu suggested 
At x3 some time when :33 his soaring :3 insowence 
Shall :33 touch x3 the ^w^ peopwe- which time UwU shaww nyot >w< want, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he be put x3 upon't, ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's >_< as ^w^ easy 
;;w;; As to uWu set ^.^ dogs on sheep- xDD wiww be :33 his fire 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ kindwe uWu theiw xDD dwy :33 stubbwe; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw bwaze 
Shall dawken ^.^ him fow ever. 

Entew ^-^ A MESSENGEW 

^w^ BWUTUS. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
x3 MESSENGEW. >_> You OwO awe sent fow to x3 the Capitol. 'Tis xDD thought 
:33 That Marcius UwU shaww be consul. 
UwU I uWu have :3 seen x3 the UwU dumb ;;w;; men :33 thwong to >_> see ^.^ him ÚwÚ and 
uWu The ^w^ bwind to hear ^.^ him speak; matrons UwU fwung gloves, 
Wadies ÚwÚ and ^w^ maids uWu theiw ^.^ scawfs ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ handkewchews, 
>_> Upon ^.^ him >_< as ^.^ he x3 pass'd; x3 the nyobwes bended 
;;w;; As to Juv's statue, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< commons UwU made 
^-^ A shower ÚwÚ and >_> thundew with uWu theiw caps ÚwÚ and ^.^ shouts. 
UwU I >_< nyevew saw x3 the >_> wike. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Wet's to x3 the Capitol, 
xDD And carry with >_> us OwO eaws ÚwÚ and eyes fow x3 th' time, 
OwO But heawts fow x3 the UwU event. 
:3 SICINyIUS. :3 Have with OwO you. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
xDD Wome. uWu The Capitow 

Entew >w< two ^w^ OFFICEWS, to uWu way :33 cushions, >_< as >w< it :3 wewe uWu in x3 the Capitow 

uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. ^.^ Come, come, ;;w;; they OwO awe almost hewe. How UwU many stand fow 
;;w;; consuwships? 
^w^ SECOND :3 OFFICEW. Three, ;;w;; they say; >_> but UwU 'tis xDD thought of every one 
Cowiowanyus xDD wiww carry :3 it. 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. >w< That's :3 a >_< bwave fellow; >_> but uWu he's UwU vengeance OwO pwoud ÚwÚ and 
loves nyot x3 the ^w^ common ^-^ peopwe. 
^w^ SECOND :3 OFFICEW. Faith, there uWu have :33 been UwU many great ;;w;; men :3 that uWu have 
flatter'd x3 the >_> peopwe, who ^w^ nye'ew xDD wuvd OwO them; ÚwÚ and there be UwU many 
:3 that ;;w;; they uWu have loved, ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow nyot ÚwÚ whewefowe; UwU so :3 that, >_> if ;;w;; they 
wuv ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow nyot >w< why, ;;w;; they ^-^ hate ;;w;; upon nyo xDD bettew :3 a :33 gwound. 
>_< Thewefowe, fow Cowiowanyus :3 nyeithew to :3 cawe >w< whethew ;;w;; they wuv ow 
^-^ hate ^.^ him manifests x3 the true >_< knyowwedge ^.^ he >_> has uWu in uWu theiw 
uWu disposition, ÚwÚ and x3 out of :33 his x3 nyobwe uWu cawewessnyess wets them x3 pwainwy 
;;w;; see't. 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. ;;w;; If ^.^ he uWu did nyot :3 cawe >w< whethew ^.^ he xDD had uWu theiw wuv ow no, 
^.^ he ^-^ waved xDD indiffewentwy 'twixt xDD doing them :3 nyeithew ÚwÚ good nor harm; 
>_> but ^.^ he >_> seeks uWu theiw ^-^ hate with :33 gweatew xDD devotion than ;;w;; they ^.^ can 
render >w< it :3 him, ÚwÚ and >w< weaves >_< nyothing ÚwÚ undonye :3 that OwO may fuwwy OwO discuvw 
^.^ him uWu theiw UwU opposite. Now to xDD seem to affect x3 the malice ÚwÚ and 
>_< dispweasuwe of x3 the OwO peopwe >_> is >_< as :33 bad >_< as :3 that which ^.^ he dislikes- to 
flatter them fow uWu theiw love. 
^w^ SECOND :3 OFFICEW. >w< He hath deserved ^-^ wowthiwy of :33 his country; ÚwÚ and :33 his 
OwO ascent >_> is nyot ^.^ by xDD such ^w^ easy >_> degwees >_< as UwU those who, xDD having :33 been 
supple ÚwÚ and ^-^ couwteous to x3 the >_> peopwe, ^w^ bonnyeted, ^-^ without xDD any further 
^.^ deed to uWu have them uWu at all, x3 into uWu theiw estimation ÚwÚ and >w< wepowt; >_> but 
^.^ he hath UwU so ^-^ pwanted :33 his honyouws uWu in uWu theiw eyes ÚwÚ and :33 his ;;w;; actions uWu in 
uWu theiw heawts :3 that fow uWu theiw tongues to be silent ÚwÚ and nyot x3 confess 
UwU so much :3 wewe :3 a uWu kind of UwU ingwatefuw UwU injuwy; to wepowt ^-^ othewwise 
:3 wewe :3 a malice :3 that, ^.^ giving itsewf x3 the wie, ^.^ wouwd pluck >_< wepwoof 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ webuke from every caw :3 that heard :3 it. 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. No ^.^ mowe of him; uWu he's :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy man. ^-^ Make :3 way, ;;w;; they 
OwO awe :3 coming. 

^-^ A sennet. Entew x3 the PATWICIANS ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ TWIBUNyES 
ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE xDD PEOPWE, ^-^ WICTOWS >w< befowe OwO them; OwO COWIOWANyUS, 
MENENIUS, COMINIUS x3 the ^.^ Consuw. x3 SICINyIUS ÚwÚ and 
BRUTUS OwO take uWu theiw pwaces ^.^ by x3 themsewves. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS >w< stands 

MENENIUS. >_> Having ;;w;; detewmin'd of x3 the ^w^ Vowsces, ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; To >_> send fow Titus xDD Wawtius, >w< it >_< wemains, 
;;w;; As x3 the :33 main :33 point of ÚwÚ this UwU ouw aftew-meeting, 
;;w;; To UwU gwatify :33 his x3 nyobwe OwO sewvice :3 that 
>_< Hath OwO thus :33 stood fow :33 his country. Therefore uWu pwease UwU you, 
:3 Most reverend ÚwÚ and :3 gwave ewdews, to ^.^ desiwe 
uWu The xDD pwesent xDD consuw ÚwÚ and >w< wast general 
^w^ In UwU ouw weww-found successes to wepowt 
^-^ A xDD wittwe of :3 that ÚwÚ wowthy ^.^ wowk pewfowm'd 
^-^ By :3 Caius Marcius Coriolanus; ÚwÚ whom 
We >w< met OwO hewe both to >_> thank ÚwÚ and to remember 
With honyouws ^.^ wike himself. [CORIOLANUS sits] 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ÚwÚ Speak, ÚwÚ good Cominyius. 
Weave >_< nyothing x3 out fow ÚwÚ wength, ÚwÚ and >_< make >_> us think 
Rather UwU ouw >_< state's ÚwÚ defective fow wequitaw 
Than ^.^ we to stretch >w< it OwO out. Mastews ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> peopwe, 
We UwU do request x3 youw x3 kindest ears; x3 and, after, 
uWu Youw >w< woving >_> motion toward x3 the ^w^ common ;;w;; body, 
;;w;; To yield >_> what ^-^ passes hewe. 
:3 SICINyIUS. We OwO awe :3 convented 
>_> Upon :3 a pweasing >_< tweaty, ÚwÚ and uWu have heawts 
>_< Incwinyabwe to honour ÚwÚ and advance 
uWu The :33 theme of UwU ouw ^w^ assembwy. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< Which x3 the rather 
We UwU shaww be uWu bwess'd to UwU do, >_> if ^.^ he remember 
^-^ A kinder value of x3 the OwO peopwe than 
>w< He hath hereto x3 pwiz'd them at. 
MENENIUS. >w< That's ^w^ off, ^w^ that's :33 off; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you rather xDD had :33 been ^-^ siwent. ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you 
;;w;; To hear Cominyius x3 speak? 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Most >_< wiwwingwy. 
OwO But yet x3 my ^w^ caution UwU was ^.^ mowe pertinent 
Than x3 the ^.^ webuke xDD you UwU give :3 it. 
MENENIUS. >w< He loves x3 youw xDD peopwe; 
OwO But :33 tie ^.^ him nyot to be uWu theiw uWu bedfewwow. 
Wowthy Cominyius, >_< speak. 
[CORIOLANUS wises, ÚwÚ and x3 offews to OwO go away] 
Nyay, >_< keep x3 youw ;;w;; pwace. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >_> Sit, Cowiowanyus, >_< nyevew ^-^ shame to hear 
>_> What xDD you uWu have ;;w;; nyobwy ^-^ donye. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu Youw >w< Honyouws' pardon. 
UwU I xDD had rather uWu have x3 my wounds to heal again 
Than hear >_> say >w< how UwU I ^w^ got OwO them. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU hope 
OwO My wowds disbench'd xDD you not. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :3 Nyo, siw; yet :3 oft, 
x3 When ^w^ bwows uWu have UwU made ;;w;; me ;;w;; stay, UwU I ^w^ fwed from ÚwÚ wowds. 
>_> You sooth'd >_> nyot, >_< thewefowe ÚwÚ huwt not. OwO But x3 youw >_> peopwe, 
UwU I wuv them >_< as ;;w;; they :33 weigh- 
MENENIUS. >_> Pway now, sit down. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I xDD had rather uWu have one x3 scwatch x3 my >_> head :33 i' x3 th' sun 
x3 When x3 the OwO awawum :3 wewe >w< stwuck than idly sit 
;;w;; To hear x3 my xDD nyothings monstew'd. uWu Exit 
MENENIUS. Mastews of x3 the >_> peopwe, 
uWu Youw multiplying >w< spawn >w< how ^.^ can ^.^ he fwattew- 
>w< That's thousand to one ÚwÚ good UwU onye- when xDD you nyow >_> see 
>w< He xDD had rather venture aww :33 his x3 wimbs fow honour 
Than one UwU on's OwO eaws to hear :33 it? Proceed, Cominyius. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ wack voice; x3 the >_< deeds of Cowiowanyus 
Should nyot be OwO uttew'd ^.^ feebwy. ^.^ It >_> is hewd 
:33 That valour >_> is x3 the ^.^ chiefest viwtue ÚwÚ and 
:3 Most dignyifies x3 the OwO havew. ;;w;; If >w< it be, 
uWu The x3 man UwU I speak of ;;w;; cannyot uWu in x3 the wowwd 
^w^ Be OwO singwy xDD countewpois'd. At :33 sixteen years, 
x3 When >_> Tawquin UwU made :3 a >_> head fow ^w^ Wome, ^.^ he ÚwÚ fought 
^.^ Beyond x3 the mark of :3 othews; UwU ouw xDD then ;;w;; Dictatow, 
;;w;; Whom with aww praise UwU I :33 point :3 at, saw ^.^ him >w< fight 
x3 When with :33 his Amazonian ^w^ chin ^.^ he >_< dwuv 
uWu The bwistwed lips >w< befowe him; ^.^ he ^w^ bestwid 
^-^ An o'ewpwess'd Roman ÚwÚ and :33 i' x3 th' consul's x3 view 
Swew >w< thwee xDD opposews; x3 Tawquin's self ^.^ he :3 met, 
xDD And >w< stwuck ^.^ him on :33 his uWu knyee. ^w^ In :3 that day's x3 feats, 
x3 When ^.^ he ^w^ might ;;w;; act x3 the OwO woman uWu in x3 the :33 scenye, 
>w< He ^.^ pwov'd best x3 man :33 i' x3 th' >_> fiewd, ÚwÚ and fow :33 his >_> meed 
Was bwow-bound with x3 the ^-^ oak. ÚwÚ His ^w^ pupiw age 
Man-ent'wed thus, ^.^ he ÚwÚ waxed ^.^ wike :3 a :33 sea, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the >w< bwunt of seventeen :3 battwes xDD since 
>w< He :33 wuwch'd aww :33 swowds of x3 the gawwand. For ÚwÚ this last, 
^.^ Befowe ÚwÚ and uWu in Corioli, wet ;;w;; me >_> say 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot speak ^.^ him >_> home. >w< He ;;w;; stopp'd x3 the ^-^ fwiews, 
xDD And ^.^ by :33 his OwO wawe ^w^ exampwe UwU made x3 the x3 cowawd 
Tuwn tewwow x3 into >_< spowt; >_< as UwU weeds >w< befowe 
^-^ A vessel :33 undew sail, UwU so ;;w;; men obey'd 
xDD And UwU feww bewow :33 his ^-^ stem. ÚwÚ His uWu swowd, ^w^ death's stamp, 
Whewe >w< it uWu did >_> mawk, >w< it UwU took; from OwO face to :33 foot 
>w< He UwU was :3 a ^.^ thing of bwood, x3 whose every >_> motion 
Was tim'd with dying ^w^ cwies. uWu Awonye ^.^ he ^w^ ent'wed 
uWu The >w< mowtaw uWu gate of x3 th' city, which ^.^ he painted 
With OwO shunwess ^w^ destiny; ^-^ aidwess ^-^ came ^w^ off, 
xDD And with :3 a ^.^ sudden we-enfowcement >w< stwuck 
;;w;; Cowiowi ^.^ wike :3 a xDD pwanyet. Now aww's ÚwÚ his. 
x3 When ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 the OwO din of >w< waw OwO 'gan xDD piewce 
ÚwÚ His ready sense, xDD then ^w^ stwaight :33 his doubled ^w^ spiwit 
Re-quick'ned >_> what uWu in >w< fwesh UwU was ^w^ fatigate, 
xDD And to x3 the ÚwÚ battwe ^-^ came he; :3 whewe ^.^ he uWu did 
OwO Wun weeking ^-^ o'ew x3 the ;;w;; wives of men, >_< as >_> if 
uWu 'Twewe :3 a pewpetuaw spoiw; ÚwÚ and >w< tiww ^.^ we ^w^ caww'd 
UwU Both field ÚwÚ and UwU city ouws ^.^ he >_< nyevew :33 stood 
;;w;; To ^w^ ease :33 his breast with ^w^ panting. 
MENENIUS. Wowthy ;;w;; man! 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot >_> but with UwU measuwe ;;w;; fit x3 the honyouws 
>_< Which ^.^ we >w< devise ^.^ him. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Our UwU spoiws ^.^ he kick'd :3 at, 
xDD And >_> wook'd ;;w;; upon ^.^ things >_< pwecious >_< as ;;w;; they :3 wewe 
uWu The ^w^ common muck of x3 the wowwd. >w< He ^w^ cuvts less 
Than misery itsewf ^.^ wouwd give, rewards 
ÚwÚ His >_< deeds with xDD doing ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and >_> is :3 content 
;;w;; To spend x3 the time to >w< end :3 it. 
MENENIUS. He's >w< wight noble; 
Let ^.^ him be ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; fow. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ;;w;; Caww Coriolanus. 
:3 OFFICEW. >w< He xDD doth :3 appeaw. 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ COWIOWANyUS 

MENENIUS. uWu The >_< Senyate, Cowiowanyus, OwO awe weww pleas'd 
;;w;; To >_< make uWu thee consul. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I UwU do >_> owe them still 
OwO My >w< wife ÚwÚ and ^w^ sewvices. 
MENENIUS. ^.^ It xDD then remains 
:33 That xDD you UwU do speak to x3 the ^-^ peopwe. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech xDD you 
Let ;;w;; me ;;w;; o'ewweap :3 that OwO custom; fow UwU I ;;w;; cannyot 
>_> Put on x3 the x3 gown, stand nyaked, ÚwÚ and entweat them 
For x3 my uWu wounds' ÚwÚ sake to UwU give uWu theiw suffwage. ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you 
:33 That UwU I OwO may pass ÚwÚ this doing. 
:3 SICINyIUS. UwU Siw, x3 the OwO peopwe 
:3 Must uWu have uWu theiw UwU voices; :3 nyeithew xDD wiww ;;w;; they uWu bate 
x3 Onye jot of :3 cewemony. 
MENENIUS. >_> Put them nyot to't. 
>_> Pway xDD you OwO go ;;w;; fit xDD you to x3 the ^-^ custom, ÚwÚ and 
^.^ Take to UwU you, >_< as x3 youw ^w^ pwedecessows have, 
uWu Youw honour with x3 youw fowm. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ pawt 
:33 That UwU I UwU shaww bwush uWu in uWu acting, ÚwÚ and ^w^ might weww 
^w^ Be :33 taken from x3 the ^-^ peopwe. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> Mawk xDD you ^-^ that? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ;;w;; To bwag >w< unto them ;;w;; 'Thus UwU I ^-^ did, ÚwÚ and :3 thus!' 
uWu Show them x3 th' unaching xDD scaws which UwU I >_> shouwd hide, 
;;w;; As >_> if UwU I xDD had weceiv'd them fow x3 the uWu hiwe 
Of uWu theiw UwU bweath onwy! 
MENENIUS. Do nyot stand :33 upon't. 
We >_< wecommend to UwU you, ÚwÚ Twibunyes of x3 the People, 
Our OwO puwpose to OwO them; ÚwÚ and to UwU ouw x3 nyobwe xDD consuw 
^-^ Wish ^.^ we aww joy ÚwÚ and honyouw. 
OwO SENyATOWS. ;;w;; To Cowiowanyus come aww joy ÚwÚ and ^-^ honyouw! 
[Flourish. ^-^ Cownyets. UwU Then UwU exeunt aww 
>_> but x3 SICINyIUS ÚwÚ and BRUTUS] 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> You >_> see >w< how ^.^ he ^-^ intends to use x3 the ^-^ peopwe. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^-^ May ;;w;; they UwU pewceive's :33 intent! >w< He xDD wiww xDD wequiwe them 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ he uWu did contemn >_> what ^.^ he uWu wequested 
Should be uWu in them to give. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ Come, we'll infowm them 
Of UwU ouw proceedings hewe. On x3 th' >_> mawket-pwace 
UwU I ^.^ knyow ;;w;; they UwU do >_< attend >_> us. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
xDD Wome. uWu The ^w^ Fowum 

Entew ÚwÚ seven ow eight :3 citizens 

uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ Once, >_> if ^.^ he UwU do xDD wequiwe UwU ouw UwU voices, ^.^ we ought nyot to 
UwU deny ^.^ him. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. We may, ^w^ siw, >_> if ^.^ we :33 wiww. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. We uWu have powew uWu in ouwsewves to UwU do :33 it, >_> but >w< it >_> is :3 a 
powew :3 that ^.^ we uWu have nyo powew to do; fow >_> if ^.^ he x3 show >_> us :33 his wounds 
ÚwÚ and tell >_> us :33 his uWu deeds, ^.^ we OwO awe to put UwU ouw tongues x3 into UwU those 
wounds ÚwÚ and speak fow OwO them; >_> so, >_> if ^.^ he tell >_> us :33 his x3 nyobwe uWu deeds, ^.^ we 
^w^ must awso tell ^.^ him UwU ouw x3 nyobwe >w< acceptance of OwO them. :3 Ingwatitude >_> is 
monstrous, ÚwÚ and fow x3 the ^.^ muwtitude to be UwU ingwatefuw :3 wewe to >_< make :3 a 
monstew of x3 the muwtitude; of x3 the which ^.^ we ^.^ being members >_> shouwd 
;;w;; bwing ouwsewves to be monstwous UwU membews. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. xDD And to >_< make >_> us nyo xDD bettew xDD thought :33 of, :3 a xDD wittwe OwO hewp 
xDD wiww serve; fow >_> once ^.^ we :33 stood x3 up about x3 the corn, ^.^ he >_< himsewf ^.^ stuck 
nyot to caww >_> us x3 the ÚwÚ many-headed xDD muwtitude. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. We uWu have :33 been ^w^ caww'd UwU so of UwU many; nyot :3 that UwU ouw heads 
OwO awe x3 some brown, x3 some black, x3 some :3 abwam, x3 some bald, >_> but :3 that UwU ouw 
:33 wits OwO awe UwU so divewsewy colour'd; ÚwÚ and :33 twuwy UwU I think >_> if aww UwU ouw :33 wits 
:3 wewe to x3 issue x3 out of one >w< skuww, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd fwy OwO east, ^-^ west, :33 nyowth, 
:3 south, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw >_< consent of one direct uWu way >_> shouwd be uWu at >_> once to 
aww x3 the x3 points ^.^ o' x3 th' UwU compass. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^w^ Think xDD you so? >_< Which uWu way UwU do xDD you OwO judge x3 my wit ^.^ wouwd 
>w< fwy? 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. Nyay, x3 youw wit xDD wiww nyot UwU so >w< soon x3 out >_< as anyothew :33 man's 
;;w;; wiww- UwU 'tis >_< stwongwy >_< wedg'd x3 up uWu in :3 a block-head; >_> but >_> if >w< it :3 wewe uWu at 
^w^ wibewty ^w^ 'twouwd >_< suwe ^w^ southwawd. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. Why :3 that >w< way? 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. ;;w;; To wose itsewf uWu in :3 a OwO fog; :3 whewe ^.^ being >w< thwee parts 
mewted OwO away with wotten dews, x3 the :3 fouwth ^.^ wouwd ^-^ wetuwn fow 
conscience' ^w^ sake, to OwO hewp to get uWu thee :3 a x3 wife. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. YOU OwO awe >_< nyevew ^-^ without x3 youw UwU twicks; xDD you may, xDD you 
may. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^w^ Awe xDD you aww :3 wesowv'd to UwU give x3 youw ÚwÚ voices? OwO But ^w^ that's 
nyo >w< mattew, x3 the :33 gweatew ÚwÚ pawt xDD cawwies :3 it. UwU I say, >_> if ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd 
incline to x3 the >_> peopwe, there UwU was >_< nyevew :3 a wowthiew man. 

Entew OwO COWIOWANyUS, uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ gown of humility, 
with >_< MENyENyIUS 

:3 Hewe ^.^ he ;;w;; comes, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ gown of humiwity. >_> Mawk :33 his behaviouw. 
We OwO awe nyot to xDD stay aww together, >_> but to come ^.^ by ^.^ him :3 whewe ^.^ he 
stands, ^.^ by onyes, ^.^ by :3 twos, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by OwO thwees. He's to >_< make :33 his 
uWu wequests ^.^ by particulars, wherein every one of >_> us >_> has :3 a :3 singwe 
honyouw, uWu in ^.^ giving ^.^ him UwU ouw UwU own ^w^ voices with UwU ouw UwU own UwU tongues; 
>_< thewefowe ;;w;; fowwow uWu me, ÚwÚ and I'll direct xDD you >w< how xDD you UwU shaww OwO go ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
uWu AWW. Content, OwO content. Exeunt :3 citizens 
MENENIUS. x3 O ^w^ siw, xDD you OwO awe nyot right; uWu have xDD you nyot ÚwÚ knyown 
uWu The x3 wowthiest ;;w;; men uWu have donye't? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> What ^w^ must UwU I ^.^ say? 
ÚwÚ 'I pray, sir'- Pwague ÚwÚ upon't! UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; bwing 
OwO My >_> tongue to xDD such :3 a x3 pace. :33 'Wook, ^w^ siw, x3 my wounds 
UwU I ^w^ got them uWu in x3 my >_> countwy's sewvice, when 
;;w;; Some xDD cewtain of x3 youw >_< bwethwen >w< woaw'd ÚwÚ and wan 
Fwom x3 th' noise of UwU ouw UwU own dwums.' 
MENENIUS. x3 O uWu me, x3 the ^-^ gods! 
>_> You ^w^ must nyot speak of x3 that. >_> You ^w^ must ^.^ desiwe them 
;;w;; To think ;;w;; upon OwO you. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^w^ Think ;;w;; upon me? Hang OwO 'em! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd x3 fowget uWu me, ^.^ wike x3 the uWu viwtues 
>_< Which UwU ouw x3 divinyes wose ^.^ by ^.^ 'em. 
MENENIUS. You'll >_> maw all. 
I'll OwO weave OwO you. >_> Pway xDD you speak to 'em, UwU I pray UwU you, 
^w^ In whowesome ^-^ mannyew. uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew >w< thwee of x3 the :3 citizens 

^.^ COWIOWANyUS. x3 Bid them >_< wash uWu theiw faces 
xDD And >_< keep uWu theiw teeth cwean. So, OwO hewe x3 comes :3 a ;;w;; bwace. 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the >_< cause, ^w^ siw, of x3 my >_< standing hewe. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. We UwU do, siw; tell >_> us >_> what hath ^.^ bwought xDD you to't. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Mine UwU own desert. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu Youw UwU own xDD desewt? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Ay, nyot >_< minye UwU own desiwe. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. How, nyot x3 youw UwU own desiwe? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, uWu 'twas >_< nyevew x3 my ^.^ desiwe yet to >_> twoubwe x3 the poor 
with :3 begging. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. YOU ^w^ MUST >_< think, >_> if ^.^ we UwU give xDD you anything, ^.^ we UwU hope to 
^.^ gain ^.^ by OwO you. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Weww >w< then, UwU I pray, x3 youw pwice ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ consuwship? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu The pwice >_> is to ^w^ ask >w< it >w< kindwy. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. OwO Kindwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I pray wet ;;w;; me OwO ha't. UwU I uWu have wounds to x3 show 
UwU you, which UwU shaww be >_> youws uWu in >_> pwivate. uWu Youw ÚwÚ good voice, siw; >_> what 
>_> say you? 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_> You UwU shaww UwU ha' :33 it, ÚwÚ wowthy sir. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^-^ A ;;w;; match, sir. >_> Thewe's uWu in aww >w< two ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ voices ^.^ begg'd. 
UwU I uWu have x3 youw UwU awms. uWu Adieu. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. OwO But ÚwÚ this >_> is ^-^ something odd. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ An >w< 'twewe to UwU give ^w^ again- >_> but UwU 'tis nyo :3 mattew. 
Exeunt x3 the >w< thwee :3 citizens 

^.^ We-entew >w< two othew :3 citizens 

^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> Pway xDD you now, >_> if >w< it OwO may stand with x3 the tune of x3 youw 
^w^ voices :3 that UwU I OwO may be consul, UwU I uWu have OwO hewe x3 the >_< customawy xDD gown. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_> You uWu have deserved ;;w;; nyobwy of x3 youw country, ÚwÚ and xDD you 
uWu have nyot deserved nyobwy. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu Youw uWu enyigma? 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_> You uWu have :33 been :3 a scourge to her enyemies; xDD you uWu have 
:33 been :3 a wod to her fwiends. >_> You uWu have nyot ÚwÚ indeed xDD wuvd x3 the ^w^ common 
^-^ peopwe. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> You >_> shouwd :33 account ;;w;; me x3 the ^.^ mowe virtuous, :3 that UwU I uWu have 
nyot :33 been ^w^ common uWu in x3 my love. UwU I :33 wiww, ^w^ siw, flatter x3 my sworn 
brother, x3 the >_> peopwe, to eawn :3 a ÚwÚ deawew estimation of OwO them; UwU 'tis :3 a 
condition ;;w;; they :33 account gentle; ÚwÚ and xDD since x3 the ^.^ wisdom of uWu theiw 
UwU choice >_> is rather to uWu have x3 my ^w^ hat than x3 my uWu heawt, UwU I xDD wiww x3 pwactise 
x3 the >_< insinyuating nod ÚwÚ and be x3 off to them UwU most counterfeitly. :33 That 
;;w;; is, ^w^ siw, UwU I xDD wiww OwO countewfeit x3 the ^w^ bewitchment of x3 some :33 popuwaw x3 man 
ÚwÚ and UwU give >w< it >_> bountifuw to x3 the xDD desiwews. >_< Thewefowe, :33 beseech xDD you UwU I 
OwO may be consul. 
x3 FIFTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. We UwU hope to find xDD you UwU ouw fwiend; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU give 
xDD you UwU ouw ^w^ voices heawtiwy. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_> You uWu have uWu weceived UwU many wounds fow x3 youw country. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU seaw x3 youw >_< knyowwedge with ^.^ showing OwO them. UwU I 
xDD wiww >_< make much of x3 youw UwU voices, ÚwÚ and UwU so >_> twoubwe xDD you nyo ÚwÚ fawthew. 
x3 BOTH >_> CITIZENS. uWu The gods UwU give xDD you joy, ^w^ siw, heawtiwy! 
Exeunt :3 citizens 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :3 Most x3 sweet ^.^ voices! 
uWu Bettew >w< it >_> is to >_> die, xDD bettew to starve, 
Than ^w^ cwave x3 the uWu hiwe which xDD fiwst ^.^ we UwU do deserve. 
Why uWu in ÚwÚ this wolvish uWu toge >_> shouwd UwU I stand OwO hewe 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ beg of uWu Hob ÚwÚ and UwU Dick :3 that UwU do appeaw 
^-^ Theiw >_> nyeedwess >w< vouches? x3 Custom ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; me to't. 
>_> What ;;w;; custom wiwws, uWu in aww ^.^ things >_> shouwd ^.^ we ;;w;; do't, 
uWu The x3 dust on >w< antique time ^.^ wouwd >_< wie ^-^ unswept, 
xDD And ;;w;; mountainyous ewwow be ^w^ too ;;w;; highwy ^w^ heap'd 
For uWu twuth to ÚwÚ o'ewpeew. Rather than >w< foow >w< it >_> so, 
Let x3 the xDD high ^.^ office ÚwÚ and x3 the honour OwO go 
;;w;; To one :3 that ^.^ wouwd UwU do OwO thus. UwU I ^w^ am half :33 thwough: 
uWu The one ÚwÚ pawt suffewed, x3 the othew xDD wiww UwU I xDD do. 

^.^ We-entew >w< thwee :3 citizens ^.^ mowe 

:3 Hewe come ^-^ moe ^-^ voices. 
uWu Youw ^-^ voices. For x3 youw ^w^ voices UwU I uWu have ^w^ fought; 
xDD Watch'd fow x3 youw UwU voices; fow x3 youw ^w^ voices UwU beaw 
Of wounds >w< two ^.^ dozen xDD odd; :3 battwes thrice six 
UwU I uWu have :3 seen ÚwÚ and heard OwO of; fow x3 youw ^w^ voices uWu have 
Done UwU many :3 things, x3 some UwU wess, x3 some more. uWu Youw ÚwÚ voices? 
>w< Indeed, UwU I ^.^ wouwd be consul. 
UwU SIXTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< He >_> has donye nobly, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot OwO go ^-^ without xDD any xDD honyest 
:33 man's voice. 
>w< SEVENTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. Therefore wet ^.^ him be consul. uWu The gods UwU give ^.^ him 
joy, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^.^ him ÚwÚ good :33 fwiend to x3 the >_> peopwe! 
uWu AWW. >_> Amen, amen. ^w^ God :3 save ÚwÚ thee, x3 nyobwe ^-^ consuw! 
Exeunt :3 citizens 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Wowthy ^.^ voices! 

^.^ We-entew >_< MENyENyIUS with BRUTUS ÚwÚ and x3 SICINyIUS 

MENENIUS. >_> You uWu have :33 stood x3 youw OwO wimitation, ÚwÚ and x3 the tribunes 
;;w;; Endue xDD you with x3 the people's voice. ÚwÚ Wemains 
^.^ That, uWu in x3 th' ;;w;; officiaw >w< mawks ^w^ invested, xDD you 
^-^ Anyon UwU do :3 meet x3 the Senyate. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Is ÚwÚ this done? 
:3 SICINyIUS. uWu The ;;w;; custom of request xDD you uWu have discharg'd. 
uWu The OwO peopwe UwU do ^w^ admit UwU you, ÚwÚ and OwO awe summon'd 
;;w;; To :3 meet ^-^ anyon, ;;w;; upon x3 youw approbation. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. OwO Whewe? At x3 the :33 Senyate House? 
:3 SICINyIUS. There, Coriolanus. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^-^ May UwU I change these garments? 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> You may, sir. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :33 That I'll ^w^ stwaight UwU do, x3 and, x3 knyowing mysewf OwO again, 
>w< Wepaiw to x3 th' :33 Senyate ^.^ House. 
MENENIUS. I'll >_< keep xDD you UwU company. Will xDD you OwO awong? 
^w^ BWUTUS. We xDD stay OwO hewe fow x3 the ^-^ peopwe. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
Exeunt ^.^ COWIOWANyUS ÚwÚ and >_< MENyENyIUS 
>w< He >_> has >w< it >_< nyow; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :33 his :33 wooks uWu methinks 
'Tis wawm UwU at's ;;w;; heawt. 
^w^ BWUTUS. With :3 a OwO pwoud >_< heawt ^.^ he ÚwÚ wowe 
ÚwÚ His humble weeds. Will xDD you dismiss x3 the people? 

^.^ We-entew :3 citizens 

:3 SICINyIUS. How now, x3 my ;;w;; mastews! :3 Have xDD you ^-^ chose ÚwÚ this man? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< He >_> has UwU ouw UwU voices, sir. 
^w^ BWUTUS. We pray x3 the gods ^.^ he OwO may OwO desewve x3 youw :3 wuvs. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_> Amen, sir. ;;w;; To x3 my poor >_< unwowthy nyotice, 
>w< He mock'd >_> us when ^.^ he begg'd UwU ouw ^-^ voices. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. xDD Cewtainwy; 
>w< He ^-^ fwouted >_> us :33 downwight. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. :3 Nyo, UwU 'tis :33 his uWu kind of speech- ^.^ he uWu did nyot ÚwÚ mock >_> us. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ÚwÚ Nyot one amongst us, :3 save yourself, >_> but ;;w;; says 
>w< He ;;w;; us'd >_> us :33 scownfuwwy. >w< He >_> shouwd uWu have ^w^ show'd >_> us 
ÚwÚ His >w< mawks of uWu mewit, wounds weceiv'd for's country. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Why, UwU so ^.^ he ^-^ did, UwU I ^w^ am >_> suwe. 
uWu AWW. :3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; nyo x3 man saw ^.^ 'em. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< He uWu said ^.^ he xDD had wounds which ^.^ he couwd x3 show uWu in 
pwivate, 
xDD And with :33 his hat, OwO thus ^.^ waving >w< it uWu in ^.^ scown, 
ÚwÚ 'I ^.^ wouwd be >w< consuw,' ;;w;; says he; 'aged ;;w;; custom 
OwO But ^.^ by x3 youw ^w^ voices xDD wiww nyot UwU so >_< pewmit OwO me; 
uWu Youw ^w^ voices x3 thewefowe.' x3 When ^.^ we >_> gwanted :3 that, 
:3 Hewe UwU was ÚwÚ 'I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw ^-^ voices. ^-^ Thank UwU you, 
uWu Youw UwU most x3 sweet ^-^ voices. Now xDD you uWu have left x3 youw UwU voices, 
UwU I uWu have nyo further with >w< you.' Was nyot ÚwÚ this mockewy? 
:3 SICINyIUS. Why xDD eithew :3 wewe xDD you ÚwÚ ignyowant to ^.^ see't, 
:3 Ow, ^-^ seeing :33 it, of xDD such chiwdish fwiendwinyess 
;;w;; To yield x3 youw ÚwÚ voices? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Could xDD you nyot uWu have told uWu him- 
;;w;; As xDD you :3 wewe UwU wesson'd- when ^.^ he xDD had nyo powew 
OwO But UwU was :3 a petty xDD sewvant to x3 the state, 
>w< He UwU was x3 youw enemy; OwO evew x3 spake OwO against 
uWu Youw ;;w;; wibewties ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; chawtews :3 that xDD you UwU beaw 
xDD I' x3 th' >w< body of x3 the ÚwÚ weaw; ÚwÚ and now, ^.^ awwiving 
^-^ A :33 pwace of uWu potency ÚwÚ and xDD sway ^.^ o' x3 th' state, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> shouwd still >w< mawignyantwy wemain 
xDD Fast foe to x3 th' ÚwÚ pwebeii, x3 youw ^w^ voices ^w^ might 
^w^ Be cuwses to >w< youwsewves? >_> You >_> shouwd uWu have uWu said 
:33 That >_< as :33 his ÚwÚ wowthy >_< deeds uWu did >_< cwaim nyo less 
Than >_> what ^.^ he :33 stood for, UwU so :33 his >_> gwacious ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
Wouwd think ;;w;; upon xDD you fow x3 youw UwU voices, ÚwÚ and 
Translate :33 his malice uWu towawds xDD you x3 into xDD wuv, 
^w^ Standing x3 youw xDD fwiendwy OwO wowd. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^-^ Thus to uWu have said, 
;;w;; As xDD you :3 wewe ;;w;; fowe-advis'd, xDD had touch'd :33 his ^w^ spiwit 
xDD And ;;w;; twied :33 his inclination; from ^.^ him ^w^ pwuck'd 
^-^ Eithew :33 his >_> gwacious ;;w;; pwomise, which xDD you xDD might, 
;;w;; As cause xDD had ^w^ caww'd xDD you up, uWu have hewd ^.^ him >w< to; 
:33 Ow >_> ewse >w< it ^.^ wouwd uWu have gall'd :33 his uWu suwwy nyatuwe, 
>_< Which easily endures nyot uWu awticwe 
uWu Tying ^.^ him to ^.^ aught. So, ^.^ putting ^.^ him to rage, 
>_> You >_> shouwd uWu have >_> ta'en x3 th' ^w^ advantage of :33 his ^.^ chowew 
xDD And :33 pass'd ^.^ him x3 unyewected. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Did xDD you >_> pewceive 
>w< He uWu did sowicit xDD you uWu in fwee x3 contempt 
x3 When ^.^ he uWu did >_< nyeed x3 youw loves; ÚwÚ and UwU do xDD you think 
:33 That :33 his x3 contempt UwU shaww nyot be >_< bwuising to xDD you 
x3 When ^.^ he hath powew to crush? Why, xDD had x3 youw >_< bodies 
No >_< heawt ^-^ among you? :33 Ow xDD had xDD you tongues to cwy 
^w^ Against x3 the wectowship of ÚwÚ judgment? 
:3 SICINyIUS. :3 Have xDD you 
Ere nyow >w< denyied x3 the asker, ÚwÚ and nyow OwO again, 
Of ^.^ him :3 that uWu did nyot ^w^ ask >_> but >w< mock, bestow 
uWu Youw xDD su'd-fow tongues? 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. He's nyot uWu confiwm'd: ^.^ we OwO may UwU deny ^.^ him >_> yet. 
^w^ SECOND >_> CITIZENS. xDD And xDD wiww UwU deny him; 
I'll uWu have five :3 hundwed ^w^ voices of :3 that UwU sound. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. UwU I twice five ^-^ hundwed, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^w^ fwiends to ^.^ piece 
^.^ 'em. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< Get xDD you >w< hence instantly, ÚwÚ and tell UwU those ^w^ fwiends 
^-^ They uWu have ^-^ chose :3 a xDD consuw :3 that xDD wiww from them OwO take 
^-^ Theiw ^w^ wibewties, >_< make them of nyo ^.^ mowe uWu voice 
Than xDD dogs, :3 that OwO awe >_< as often xDD beat fow >_< bawking 
;;w;; As >_< thewefowe :33 kept to UwU do :3 so. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Let them uWu assembwe; 
^.^ And, on :3 a safer ^.^ judgment, aww x3 wevoke 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ ignyowant election. Enforce :33 his >_< pwide 
xDD And :33 his ;;w;; owd ^-^ hate >w< unto uWu you; >_< besides, x3 fowget nyot 
With >_> what x3 contempt ^.^ he ÚwÚ wowe x3 the humble weed; 
How uWu in :33 his >_> suit ^.^ he >_< scown'd uWu you; >_> but x3 youw wuvs, 
^w^ Thinking ;;w;; upon :33 his ;;w;; sewvices, >_> took from xDD you 
xDD Th' apprehension of :33 his xDD pwesent portance, 
>_< Which, UwU most gibingly, :33 ungwavewy, ^.^ he uWu did fashion 
>w< Aftew x3 the inveterate ^-^ hate ^.^ he bears OwO you. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Way 
^-^ A ;;w;; fauwt on us, x3 youw :33 twibunyes, :3 that ^.^ we ^-^ wabouw'd, 
No x3 impediment >_> between, >_> but :3 that xDD you ^w^ must 
;;w;; Cast x3 youw UwU ewection on ^.^ him. 
:3 SICINyIUS. x3 Say xDD you ^-^ chose ^.^ him 
uWu Mowe ÚwÚ aftew UwU ouw commandment than >_< as UwU guided 
^-^ By x3 youw UwU own true ÚwÚ affections; ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 youw x3 minds, 
x3 Pwe-occupied with >_> what xDD you rather ^w^ must UwU do 
Than >_> what xDD you should, UwU made xDD you OwO against x3 the ^-^ gwain 
;;w;; To uWu voice ^.^ him consul. Way x3 the ;;w;; fauwt on >_> us. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Ay, ^-^ spawe >_> us not. x3 Say ^.^ we ^w^ wead lectures to UwU you, 
How ^.^ youngwy ^.^ he began to serve :33 his country, 
How ^-^ wong >w< continyued; ÚwÚ and >_> what stock ^.^ he springs of- 
uWu The x3 nyobwe ;;w;; house ^.^ o' x3 th' Marcians; from >_> whence ^-^ came 
:33 That ÚwÚ Ancus ^w^ Mawcius, Nyuma's ^w^ daughtew's x3 son, 
UwU Who, ÚwÚ aftew great Hostilius, OwO hewe UwU was uWu king; 
Of x3 the same ;;w;; house UwU Pubwius ÚwÚ and Quintus uWu wewe, 
:33 That UwU ouw best UwU watew ^.^ bwought ^.^ by ;;w;; conduits hithew; 
xDD And Censowinyus, ;;w;; nyobwy named >_> so, 
xDD Twice ^.^ being ^.^ by x3 the OwO peopwe OwO chosen >_< censow, 
Was :33 his great ancestow. 
:3 SICINyIUS. x3 Onye OwO thus ^w^ descended, 
:33 That hath :3 beside weww uWu in :33 his ÚwÚ pewson ;;w;; wwought 
;;w;; To be uWu set xDD high uWu in pwace, ^.^ we uWu did ÚwÚ commend 
;;w;; To x3 youw ;;w;; wemembwances; >_> but xDD you uWu have >_> found, 
:33 Scawing :33 his xDD pwesent :33 beawing with :33 his past, 
:33 That uWu he's x3 youw xDD fixed enyemy, ÚwÚ and x3 wevoke 
uWu Youw ^.^ sudden approbation. 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 Say xDD you ^w^ nye'ew xDD had >_< donye't- 
Hawp on :3 that stiww- >_> but ^.^ by UwU ouw ^.^ putting xDD on; 
xDD And pwesentwy, when xDD you uWu have drawn x3 youw number, 
>w< Wepaiw to x3 th' Capitol. 
>_> CITIZENS. xDD wiww xDD wiww so; almost aww 
uWu Wepent uWu in uWu theiw election. Exeunt plebeians 
^w^ BWUTUS. Let them OwO go xDD on; 
This mutiny :3 wewe xDD bettew put uWu in >_< hazawd 
Than ;;w;; stay, x3 past doubt, fow ;;w;; gweatew. 
If, >_< as :33 his ÚwÚ nyatuwe ;;w;; is, ^.^ he faww uWu in xDD wage 
With uWu theiw wefusaw, both uWu obsewve ÚwÚ and answew 
uWu The ;;w;; vantage of :33 his OwO angew. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ;;w;; To x3 th' Capitol, x3 come. 
We xDD wiww be there >w< befowe x3 the stweam ^.^ o' x3 th' xDD peopwe; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this UwU shaww ;;w;; seem, >_< as ;;w;; pawtwy x3 'tis, uWu theiw OwO own, 
>_< Which ^.^ we uWu have ;;w;; goaded onward. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

^-^ Cownyets. Entew OwO COWIOWANyUS, MENENIUS, aww x3 the >w< GENTWY, COMINyIUS, 
TITUS WAWTIUS, ÚwÚ and othew x3 SENyATOWS 

^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Tullus >_< Aufidius, >w< then, xDD had UwU made x3 nyew head? 
uWu WAWTIUS. >w< He :33 had, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ and :3 that >w< it UwU was which OwO caus'd 
Our ^w^ swiftew composition. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^w^ So xDD then x3 the ;;w;; Vowsces stand >_> but >_< as uWu at ÚwÚ fiwst, 
>_> Weady, when time UwU shaww prompt ÚwÚ them, to >_< make woad 
OwO Upon's ;;w;; again. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ^-^ They OwO awe ÚwÚ wown, Lord :3 Consuw, UwU so 
:33 That ^.^ we UwU shaww hardly uWu in UwU ouw uWu ages >_> see 
^-^ Theiw ^-^ bannyews x3 wave ;;w;; again. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^.^ Saw xDD you UwU Aufidius? 
uWu WAWTIUS. On safeguard ^.^ he ^-^ came to uWu me, ÚwÚ and uWu did UwU cuwse 
^w^ Against x3 the ^w^ Vowsces, fow ;;w;; they xDD had UwU so uWu viwewy 
Yiewded x3 the xDD town. >w< He >_> is >_> wetiw'd to Antium. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. OwO Spoke ^.^ he of me? 
uWu WAWTIUS. >w< He ^-^ did, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ÚwÚ How? What? 
uWu WAWTIUS. How often ^.^ he xDD had >w< met UwU you, xDD swowd to ^-^ swowd; 
:33 That of aww ^.^ things ;;w;; upon x3 the ^.^ eawth ^.^ he hated 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ pewson most; :3 that ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd ^.^ pawn :33 his fowtunyes 
;;w;; To :33 hopewess restitution, UwU so ^.^ he ^w^ might 
^w^ Be ^w^ caww'd x3 youw >w< vanquishew. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. At Antium ;;w;; wives uWu he? 
uWu WAWTIUS. At Antium. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I ÚwÚ wish UwU I xDD had :3 a cause to >_> seek ^.^ him thewe, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; oppose :33 his >_< hatwed ;;w;; fuwwy. Welcome >_> home. 

Entew x3 SICINyIUS ÚwÚ and BRUTUS 

UwU Behowd, these OwO awe x3 the tribunes of x3 the >_> peopwe, 
uWu The tongues ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ common xDD mouth. UwU I UwU do >_> despise ÚwÚ them, 
For ;;w;; they UwU do prank them uWu in ÚwÚ authowity, 
^w^ Against aww x3 nyobwe sufferance. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ÚwÚ Pass nyo fuwthew. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu Ha! >_> What >_> is ^-^ that? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ It xDD wiww be uWu dangewous to OwO go :33 on- nyo fuwthew. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> What x3 makes ÚwÚ this ;;w;; change? 
MENENIUS. uWu The ^.^ mattew? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >_< Hath ^.^ he nyot :33 pass'd x3 the x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; common? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Cominyius, >w< nyo. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :3 Have UwU I xDD had chiwdwen's ÚwÚ voices? 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Twibunyes, UwU give >_< way: ^.^ he UwU shaww to x3 th' mawket-pwace. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu The OwO peopwe OwO awe :33 incens'd OwO against ^.^ him. 
:3 SICINyIUS. OwO Stop, 
:33 Ow aww xDD wiww faww uWu in x3 bwoiw. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^w^ Awe these x3 youw ;;w;; hewd? 
:3 Must these uWu have UwU voices, :3 that ^.^ can yield them nyow 
xDD And ^w^ stwaight ;;w;; discwaim uWu theiw tongues? >_> What OwO awe x3 youw ^w^ offices? 
>_> You ^.^ being uWu theiw ^w^ mouths, >w< why UwU wuwe xDD you nyot uWu theiw ;;w;; teeth? 
:3 Have xDD you nyot uWu set them ^-^ on? 
MENENIUS. ^w^ Be calm, be :33 cawm. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ puwpos'd ÚwÚ thing, ÚwÚ and gwows ^.^ by >_> pwot, 
;;w;; To ^.^ cuwb x3 the xDD wiww of x3 the >_> nyobiwity; 
>w< Suffew't, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wive with xDD such >_< as ;;w;; cannyot UwU wuwe 
x3 Nyow OwO evew xDD wiww be uWu wuw'd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Call't nyot :3 a ;;w;; pwot. 
uWu The OwO peopwe cwy xDD you mock'd OwO them; ÚwÚ and of late, 
x3 When corn UwU was UwU given them gratis, xDD you x3 wepin'd; 
Scandaw'd x3 the suppwiants fow x3 the >_> peopwe, ^w^ caww'd them 
Time-pleasers, fwattewews, ^-^ foes to nyobwenyess. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Why, ÚwÚ this UwU was ÚwÚ knyown befowe. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Nyot to them all. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :3 Have xDD you inform'd them ÚwÚ sithence? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ How? UwU I infowm >w< them! 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >_> You OwO awe ^.^ wike to UwU do xDD such business. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Nyot ^-^ unwike 
x3 Each uWu way to xDD bettew x3 youws. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Why xDD then >_> shouwd UwU I be consuw? ^-^ By :33 yond >_> cwouds, 
Let ;;w;; me OwO desewve UwU so :33 iww >_< as UwU you, ÚwÚ and >_< make ;;w;; me 
uWu Youw fewwow >_> twibunye. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> You x3 show ^w^ too much of :3 that 
For which x3 the OwO peopwe >w< stiw; >_> if xDD you xDD wiww pass 
;;w;; To :3 whewe xDD you OwO awe xDD bound, xDD you ^w^ must ^.^ enquiwe x3 youw :3 way, 
>_< Which xDD you OwO awe x3 out :33 of, with :3 a gentler ^-^ spiwit, 
:33 Ow >_< nyevew be UwU so x3 nyobwe >_< as :3 a consul, 
x3 Nyow x3 yoke with ^.^ him fow >_> twibunye. 
MENENIUS. :3 Wet's be :33 cawm. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. uWu The OwO peopwe OwO awe ;;w;; abus'd; uWu set :3 on. This pawt'wing 
>_> Becomes nyot Rome; nor >_> has Cowiowanyus 
Desewved ÚwÚ this UwU so UwU dishonyouw'd rub, laid :3 fawsewy 
xDD I' x3 th' uWu pwain uWu way of :33 his x3 mewit. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Teww ;;w;; me of x3 cown! 
This UwU was x3 my ;;w;; speech, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ speak't ^w^ again- 
MENENIUS. ÚwÚ Nyot now, nyot now. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ÚwÚ Nyot uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ heat, ^w^ siw, now. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> Nyow, >_< as UwU I x3 wive, UwU I :33 wiww. 
OwO My >w< nyobwew OwO fwiends, UwU I ^w^ cwave uWu theiw pawdons. 
For x3 the mutabwe, ^.^ wank-scented meiny, wet them 
Wegawd ;;w;; me >_< as UwU I UwU do nyot fwattew, ÚwÚ and 
OwO Thewein behowd x3 themsewves. UwU I >_> say OwO again, 
^w^ In x3 soothing them ^.^ we nourish uWu 'gainst UwU ouw :33 Senyate 
uWu The :33 cockwe of ^-^ webewwion, ÚwÚ insowence, sedition, 
>_< Which ^.^ we ouwsewves uWu have pwough'd for, sow'd, ÚwÚ and >w< scattew'd, 
^-^ By >w< mingwing them with us, x3 the :3 honyouw'd number, 
Who ^.^ wack nyot virtue, no, nor x3 powew, >_> but :3 that 
>_< Which ;;w;; they uWu have UwU given to beggaws. 
MENENIUS. xDD Weww, nyo more. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. No ^.^ mowe wowds, ^.^ we :33 beseech OwO you. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ÚwÚ How? nyo uWu mowe! 
;;w;; As fow x3 my countwy UwU I uWu have x3 shed x3 my bwood, 
ÚwÚ Nyot feawing :33 outwawd fowce, UwU so UwU shaww x3 my >w< wungs 
>_> Coin wowds >w< tiww uWu theiw x3 decay OwO against UwU those :33 measwes 
>_< Which ^.^ we ^-^ disdain >_> shouwd tettew us, yet >_< sought 
uWu The xDD vewy uWu way to catch OwO them. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> You speak ^.^ o' x3 th' OwO peopwe 
;;w;; As >_> if xDD you :3 wewe :3 a ^.^ god, to punish; nyot 
^-^ A x3 man of uWu theiw infiwmity. 
:3 SICINyIUS. uWu 'Twewe weww 
We wet x3 the OwO peopwe uWu knyow't. 
MENENIUS. What, UwU what? :33 his chowew? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Chowew! 
^.^ Wewe UwU I >_< as patient >_< as x3 the ;;w;; midnyight sweep, 
^-^ By Juv, ^w^ 'twouwd be x3 my ÚwÚ mind! 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a ^-^ mind 
:33 That UwU shaww wemain :3 a x3 poison :3 whewe >w< it ;;w;; is, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 poison xDD any fuwthew. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Shall wemain! 
>w< Heaw xDD you ÚwÚ this Twiton of x3 the minnows? >_> Mawk xDD you 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ absowute >w< 'shaww'? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >_< 'Twas from x3 the ^w^ canyon. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu 'Shaww'! 
x3 O ÚwÚ good >_> but UwU most UwU unwise ÚwÚ patwicians! Why, 
>_> You :3 gwave >_> but reckless senyatows, uWu have xDD you OwO thus 
Given :33 Hydwa OwO hewe to choose >w< an officer 
:33 That with :33 his ^w^ pewemptowy ^-^ 'shaww,' ^.^ being >_> but 
uWu The >_> hown ÚwÚ and noise ^.^ o' x3 th' x3 monstew's, wants nyot ^w^ spiwit 
;;w;; To >_> say he'ww turn x3 youw :3 cuwwent uWu in :3 a xDD ditch, 
xDD And >_< make x3 youw :33 channyew ^w^ his? ;;w;; If ^.^ he uWu have x3 powew, 
UwU Then vaiw x3 youw ÚwÚ ignyowance; >_> if nyonye, awake 
uWu Youw uWu dangewous >_< wenyity. ;;w;; If xDD you OwO awe ^w^ weawn'd, 
^w^ Be nyot >_< as ^w^ common uWu foows; >_> if xDD you OwO awe >_> nyot, 
Let them uWu have xDD cushions ^.^ by OwO you. >_> You OwO awe ^-^ pwebeians, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they be senators; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they OwO awe nyo UwU wess, 
UwU When, both x3 youw ^w^ voices ÚwÚ bwended, x3 the gweat'st >_> taste 
:3 Most uWu pawates theirs. ^-^ They choose uWu theiw >w< magistwate; 
xDD And xDD such :3 a one >_< as xDD he, who puts :33 his ^-^ 'shaww,' 
ÚwÚ His :33 popuwaw ^-^ 'shaww,' OwO against :3 a OwO gwavew bench 
Than OwO evew ^-^ fwown'd uWu in Gweece. ^-^ By Juv himsewf, 
^.^ It x3 makes x3 the OwO consuws ^-^ base; ÚwÚ and x3 my :3 souw OwO aches 
;;w;; To knyow, when >w< two authorities OwO awe up, 
>_> Nyeithew xDD supweme, >w< how >w< soon :3 confusion 
^-^ May enter 'twixt x3 the uWu gap of both ÚwÚ and OwO take 
uWu The one ^.^ by x3 th' :3 othew. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. xDD Weww, on to x3 th' mawket-pwace. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ÚwÚ Whoevew uWu gave :3 that counsel to UwU give fowth 
uWu The corn ^.^ o' x3 th' stowehouse gratis, >_< as uWu 'twas ;;w;; us'd 
:3 Sometime uWu in :3 Gweece- 
MENENIUS. xDD Weww, weww, nyo ^.^ mowe of x3 that. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ;;w;; Though there x3 the OwO peopwe xDD had ^.^ mowe ^w^ absowute pow'w- 
UwU I >_> say ;;w;; they >_< nyouwish'd >w< disobedience, ÚwÚ fed 
uWu The xDD wuin of x3 the state. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Why UwU shaww x3 the OwO peopwe UwU give 
x3 Onye :3 that xDD speaks OwO thus uWu theiw :33 voice? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. I'll UwU give x3 my ^w^ weasons, 
uWu Mowe wowthiew than uWu theiw ^-^ voices. ^-^ They ^.^ knyow x3 the corn 
Was nyot UwU ouw recompense, resting weww x3 assuw'd 
^-^ They ^w^ nye'ew uWu did OwO sewvice ÚwÚ fow't; ^.^ being OwO pwess'd to x3 th' >w< waw 
Even when x3 the xDD nyavew of x3 the >w< state UwU was ^-^ touch'd, 
^-^ They ^.^ wouwd nyot :3 thwead x3 the gates. This uWu kind of OwO sewvice 
Did nyot OwO desewve corn xDD gwatis. uWu Being :33 i' x3 th' waw, 
^-^ Theiw mutinies ÚwÚ and revolts, wherein ;;w;; they ^w^ show'd 
:3 Most uWu vawouw, ^-^ spoke nyot fow OwO them. xDD Th' :33 accusation 
>_< Which ;;w;; they uWu have often UwU made OwO against x3 the >_< Senyate, 
All cause x3 unbown, couwd >_< nyevew be x3 the OwO nyative 
Of UwU ouw UwU so xDD fwank ÚwÚ donyation. xDD Weww, >_> what ^w^ then? 
How UwU shaww ÚwÚ this ^w^ bosom UwU muwtipwied digest 
uWu The Senate's ^w^ couwtesy? Let >_< deeds express 
x3 What's ^.^ wike to be uWu theiw x3 wowds: ÚwÚ 'We uWu did request uWu it; 
We OwO awe x3 the :33 gweatew :3 poww, ÚwÚ and uWu in true feaw 
^-^ They uWu gave >_> us UwU ouw >w< demands.' ^-^ Thus ^.^ we debase 
uWu The ÚwÚ nyatuwe of UwU ouw :33 seats, ÚwÚ and >_< make x3 the rabble 
;;w;; Caww UwU ouw ÚwÚ cawes fears; which xDD wiww uWu in time 
^.^ Bweak ^w^ ope x3 the locks ^.^ o' x3 th' :33 Senyate ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing uWu in 
uWu The >_< cwows to peck x3 the eagwes. 
MENENIUS. ^.^ Come, enyough. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ;;w;; Enyough, with uvw x3 measuwe. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :3 Nyo, OwO take more. 
>_> What OwO may be sworn UwU by, both divine ÚwÚ and ^w^ human, 
Seal >_> what UwU I >w< end withaw! This :3 doubwe worship, 
Whewe one ÚwÚ pawt does ^-^ disdain with >_< cause, x3 the othew 
Insult ^-^ without aww UwU weason; :3 whewe gentry, :3 titwe, wisdom, 
UwU Cannyot OwO concwude >_> but ^.^ by x3 the >w< yea ÚwÚ and nyo 
Of general ignyowance- >w< it ^w^ must x3 omit 
:3 Weaw x3 nyecessities, ÚwÚ and UwU give uWu way x3 the OwO whiwe 
;;w;; To >_> unstabwe >_< swightnyess. :3 Puwpose UwU so ^w^ baww'd, >w< it xDD fowwows 
Nyothing >_> is donye to puwpose. >_< Thewefowe, :33 beseech :3 you- 
>_> You :3 that xDD wiww be less x3 feawfuw than discreet; 
:33 That wuv x3 the ÚwÚ fundamentaw ÚwÚ pawt of >w< state 
uWu Mowe than xDD you doubt x3 the change ^-^ on't; :3 that prefer 
^-^ A x3 nyobwe >w< wife >w< befowe :3 a long, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wish 
;;w;; To x3 jump :3 a >w< body with :3 a uWu dangewous ;;w;; physic 
>w< That's >_< suwe of :33 death ^-^ without OwO it- uWu at >_> once pluck x3 out 
uWu The x3 muwtitudinyous tongue; wet them nyot >_> wick 
uWu The x3 sweet which >_> is uWu theiw poison. uWu Youw x3 dishonyouw 
^-^ Mangwes true ^.^ judgment, ÚwÚ and ^w^ beweaves x3 the >w< state 
Of :3 that >_< integwity which >_> shouwd become't, 
ÚwÚ Nyot xDD having x3 the powew to UwU do x3 the ÚwÚ good >w< it :3 wouwd, 
For x3 th' :33 iww which xDD doth contwow't. 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 Has uWu said enyough. 
:3 SICINyIUS. x3 Has >w< spoken ^.^ wike :3 a traitor ÚwÚ and UwU shaww answew 
;;w;; As traitors xDD do. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^.^ Thou :3 wwetch, ;;w;; despite ^w^ o'ewwhewm uWu thee! 
>_> What >_> shouwd x3 the OwO peopwe UwU do with these ;;w;; bawd :33 twibunyes, 
On ÚwÚ whom :33 depending, uWu theiw ^.^ obedience >_< faiws 
;;w;; To x3 the :33 gweatew UwU bench? ^w^ In :3 a ^-^ webewwion, 
x3 When UwU what's nyot ^w^ meet, >_> but >_> what ^w^ must be, UwU was waw, 
UwU Then :3 wewe ;;w;; they >_> chosen; uWu in :3 a xDD bettew >_> houw 
Let >_> what >_> is :3 meet be uWu said >w< it ^w^ must be ^w^ meet, 
xDD And ^-^ thwow uWu theiw powew :33 i' x3 th' dust. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< Manyifest treason! 
:3 SICINyIUS. This :3 a consuw? No. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu The >_< aediwes, ho! 

Entew >w< an OwO AEDIWE 

Let ^.^ him be apprehended. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Go caww x3 the >_> peopwe, ;;w;; [Exit :3 AEDIWE] uWu in x3 whose xDD nyame mysewf 
>_< Attach uWu thee >_< as :3 a ^-^ twaitowous ^w^ innyovatow, 
^-^ A foe to x3 th' public weaw. Obey, UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And ;;w;; fowwow to ^.^ thinye answer. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Hence, ;;w;; owd goat! 
PATRICIANS. ^-^ We'ww surety ^.^ him. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Ag'd ^w^ siw, ^.^ hands off. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Hence, wotten x3 thing! ow UwU I UwU shaww ;;w;; shake >w< thy bones 
UwU Out of >w< thy x3 gawments. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Hewp, OwO ye citizens! 

Entew :3 a rabble of ^-^ pwebeians, with x3 the AEDILES 

MENENIUS. On both >w< sides ^.^ mowe wespect. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> Hewe's ^.^ he :3 that ^.^ wouwd OwO take from xDD you aww x3 youw UwU powew. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> Seize :3 him, :3 aediwes. 
OwO PWEBEIANS. xDD Down with x3 him! down with x3 him! 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. >w< Weapons, ^.^ weapons, :3 weapons! 
^w^ [They aww ^.^ bustwe about OwO COWIOWANyUS] 
uWu AWW. UwU Twibunyes! ÚwÚ patwicians! citizens! What, ho! ^.^ Sicinyius! 
>_> Bwutus! Cowiowanyus! OwO Citizens! 
PATRICIANS. uWu Peace, ÚwÚ peace, :3 peace; ;;w;; stay, OwO howd, peace! 
MENENIUS. >_> What >_> is about to :3 be? UwU I ^w^ am x3 out of breath; 
Confusion's uWu nyeaw; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_< speak. >_> You tribunes 
;;w;; To x3 th' ^w^ peopwe- Cowiowanyus, UwU patience! 
ÚwÚ Speak, ÚwÚ good xDD Sicinyius. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >w< Heaw uWu me, xDD peopwe; peace! 
OwO PWEBEIANS. :3 Wet's hear UwU ouw >_> twibunye. ;;w;; Peace! ÚwÚ Speak, :3 speak, >_< speak. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> You OwO awe uWu at :33 point to wose x3 youw wibewties. 
Marcius ^.^ wouwd uWu have aww from uWu you; ^w^ Mawcius, 
;;w;; Whom wate xDD you uWu have nyam'd fow consul. 
MENENIUS. OwO Fie, >_< fie, fie! 
This >_> is x3 the uWu way to kindwe, nyot to >_> quench. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ;;w;; To unbuild x3 the city, ÚwÚ and to uWu way aww flat. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> What >_> is x3 the UwU city >_> but x3 the people? 
OwO PWEBEIANS. >_< Twue, 
uWu The OwO peopwe OwO awe x3 the >_> city. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ By x3 the >_< consent of aww ^.^ we :3 wewe estabwish'd 
uWu The people's ÚwÚ magistwates. 
OwO PWEBEIANS. >_> You UwU so ^-^ wemain. 
MENENIUS. xDD And UwU so OwO awe ^.^ wike to xDD do. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. :33 That >_> is x3 the uWu way to uWu way x3 the UwU city flat, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing x3 the ÚwÚ woof to x3 the foundation, 
xDD And ^.^ buwy aww which yet distinctwy ^.^ wanges 
^w^ In OwO heaps ÚwÚ and piles of UwU wuin. 
:3 SICINyIUS. This >_> desewves death. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :33 Ow wet >_> us stand to UwU ouw ÚwÚ authowity 
:33 Ow wet >_> us wose :3 it. We UwU do OwO hewe OwO pwonyounce, 
>_> Upon x3 the ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> peopwe, uWu in x3 whose powew 
We :3 wewe >_> ewected ;;w;; theiws: Marcius >_> is ÚwÚ wowthy 
Of xDD pwesent death. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Therefore uWu way howd of him; 
ÚwÚ Beaw ^.^ him to x3 th' OwO wock ^-^ Tawpeian, ÚwÚ and from thence 
^.^ Into >w< destwuction ;;w;; cast ^.^ him. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu AEdiwes, x3 seize ^.^ him. 
OwO PWEBEIANS. ÚwÚ Yiewd, ^w^ Mawcius, >_< yiewd. 
MENENIUS. >w< Heaw ;;w;; me one wowd; :33 beseech UwU you, Twibunyes, 
>w< Heaw ;;w;; me >_> but :3 a OwO wowd. 
AEDIWES. uWu Peace, peace! 
MENENIUS. ^w^ Be :3 that xDD you ;;w;; seem, :33 twuwy x3 youw >_> countwy's fwiend, 
xDD And temp'rately proceed to >_> what xDD you ^.^ wouwd 
^-^ Thus >_< viowentwy >w< wedwess. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Siw, UwU those UwU cowd >w< ways, 
:33 That xDD seem ^.^ wike x3 pwudent hewps, OwO awe xDD vewy OwO poisonyous 
Whewe x3 the ÚwÚ disease >_> is violent. Way ^.^ hands ;;w;; upon ^.^ him 
xDD And UwU beaw ^.^ him to x3 the ^-^ wock. 
[CORIOLANUS ÚwÚ dwaws :33 his :3 swowd] 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_< Nyo: I'll ^-^ die hewe. 
>_> Thewe's x3 some ^-^ among xDD you uWu have beheld ;;w;; me >w< fighting; 
^.^ Come, >_> twy ;;w;; upon youwsewves >_> what xDD you uWu have :3 seen x3 me. 
MENENIUS. xDD Down with :3 that swowd! Twibunyes, >_< withdwaw OwO awhiwe. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Way ^.^ hands ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
MENENIUS. ^-^ Hewp ^w^ Mawcius, hewp, 
>_> You :3 that be noble; OwO hewp :3 him, xDD young ÚwÚ and ^-^ owd. 
OwO PWEBEIANS. xDD Down with :3 him, down with x3 him! 
:33 [In ÚwÚ this mutiny x3 the ÚwÚ TWIBUNyES, x3 the AEDILES, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO peopwe OwO awe xDD beat in] 
MENENIUS. ^w^ Go, get xDD you to x3 youw ^.^ house; be >w< gonye, xDD away. 
All xDD wiww be >_< nyought ewse. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. >_< Get xDD you ;;w;; gonye. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ;;w;; Stand x3 fast; 
We uWu have >_< as UwU many ^w^ fwiends >_< as enemies. 
MENENIUS. Shall >w< it be put to ^-^ that? 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. uWu The gods fowbid! 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, x3 nyobwe fwiend, ^.^ home to >w< thy ^.^ house; 
Weave >_> us to >w< cuwe ÚwÚ this OwO cause. 
MENENIUS. For UwU 'tis :3 a ^w^ sowe ;;w;; upon >_> us 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ tent :33 youwsewf; be >w< gonye, :33 beseech OwO you. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, :3 awong with >_> us. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they :3 wewe bawbawians, >_< as ;;w;; they awe, 
;;w;; Though uWu in ÚwÚ Wome litter'd; nyot uWu Womans, >_< as ;;w;; they OwO awe >_> nyot, 
;;w;; Though x3 cawved :33 i' x3 th' porch ^.^ o' x3 th' Capitol. 
MENENIUS. ^w^ Be ;;w;; gonye. 
>_> Put nyot x3 youw ÚwÚ wowthy xDD wage x3 into x3 youw tongue; 
x3 Onye time xDD wiww >_> owe anyothew. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. On >w< faiw x3 gwound 
UwU I couwd xDD beat >w< fowty of OwO them. 
MENENIUS. UwU I couwd mysewf 
^.^ Take x3 up :3 a ;;w;; bwace ^.^ o' x3 th' best of OwO them; >w< yea, x3 the >w< two ^w^ twibunyes. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. OwO But nyow UwU 'tis ^w^ odds ^w^ beyond awithmetic, 
xDD And manhood >_> is ^w^ caww'd foowewy when >w< it >w< stands 
^w^ Against :3 a falling ^w^ fabwic. Will xDD you hence, 
^.^ Befowe x3 the ;;w;; tag wetuwn? x3 whose xDD wage xDD doth rend 
Wike >_< intewwupted ^.^ watews, ÚwÚ and o'erbear 
>_> What ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; us'd to bear. 
MENENIUS. >_> Pway xDD you be ;;w;; gonye. 
I'll >_> twy >w< whethew x3 my ;;w;; owd wit be uWu in request 
With UwU those :3 that uWu have >_> but UwU wittwe; ÚwÚ this ^w^ must be ^-^ patch'd 
With cwoth of xDD any :3 cowouw. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Nyay, come xDD away. 
Exeunt ^.^ COWIOWANyUS ÚwÚ and COMINyIUS, with ;;w;; othews 
PATRICIANS. This x3 man >_> has marr'd :33 his xDD fowtunye. 
MENENIUS. ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is ^w^ too x3 nyobwe fow x3 the wowwd: 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot flatter Nyeptunye fow :33 his twident, 
:33 Ow Juv for's powew to thunder. ÚwÚ His heart's :33 his x3 mouth; 
>_> What :33 his breast forges, :3 that :33 his >_> tongue ^w^ must >w< vent; 
^.^ And, ^.^ being ;;w;; angwy, does x3 fowget :3 that OwO evew 
>w< He heard x3 the xDD nyame of death. :3 [A noise ;;w;; within] 
>_> Hewe's xDD goodwy >_< wowk! 
PATRICIANS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they :3 wewe a-bed. 
MENENIUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they :3 wewe uWu in x3 Tibew. 
>_> What x3 the vengeance, couwd ^.^ he nyot speak x3 'em uWu faiw? 

^.^ We-entew BRUTUS ÚwÚ and >_> SICINyIUS, x3 the rabble again 

:3 SICINyIUS. Whewe >_> is ÚwÚ this :33 vipew 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd ^.^ depopuwate x3 the UwU city ÚwÚ and 
^w^ Be every x3 man :33 himsewf? 
MENENIUS. >_> You ÚwÚ wowthy ^.^ Twibunyes- 
:3 SICINyIUS. >w< He UwU shaww be :33 thwown down x3 the Tarpeian OwO wock 
With rigorous hands; ^.^ he hath :3 wesisted waw, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe law UwU shaww ^w^ scown ^.^ him further uWu twiaw 
Than x3 the :33 sevewity of x3 the public x3 powew, 
>_< Which ^.^ he UwU so :33 sets uWu at nought. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< He UwU shaww weww ^.^ knyow 
uWu The x3 nyobwe tribunes OwO awe x3 the people's ^w^ mouths, 
xDD And ^.^ we uWu theiw ^w^ hands. 
OwO PWEBEIANS. >w< He UwU shaww, >_< suwe ^.^ on't. 
MENENIUS. UwU Siw, >_< siw- 
:3 SICINyIUS. ;;w;; Peace! 
MENENIUS. Do nyot cwy havoc, :3 whewe xDD you >_> shouwd >_> but OwO hunt 
With :3 modest ;;w;; wawwant. 
:3 SICINyIUS. UwU Siw, >w< how >w< comes't :3 that xDD you 
:3 Have holp to >_< make ÚwÚ this ^.^ wescue? 
MENENIUS. >w< Heaw ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow x3 the consul's ^w^ wowthinyess, 
^w^ So ^.^ can UwU I xDD nyame :33 his x3 fauwts. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_< Consuw! >_> What consuw? 
MENENIUS. uWu The xDD consuw Coriolanus. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< He ^-^ consuw! 
OwO PWEBEIANS. :3 Nyo, no, no, no, >w< nyo. 
MENENIUS. If, ^.^ by x3 the >w< twibunyes' weave, ÚwÚ and >_< youws, ÚwÚ good >_> peopwe, 
UwU I OwO may be ^-^ heawd, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^w^ cwave :3 a ;;w;; wowd ow ^.^ two; 
uWu The which UwU shaww turn xDD you to nyo further x3 hawm 
Than UwU so much ^-^ woss of uWu time. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^w^ Speak bwiefwy, >w< then, 
For ^.^ we OwO awe ^w^ pewemptowy to dispatch 
This x3 vipewous uWu twaitow; to >_> eject ^.^ him >w< hence 
^.^ Wewe >_> but one uWu dangew, ÚwÚ and to >_< keep ^.^ him OwO hewe 
Our xDD cewtain ÚwÚ death; >_< thewefowe >w< it >_> is xDD decweed 
>w< He dies to-night. 
MENENIUS. Now x3 the ÚwÚ good gods UwU fowbid 
:33 That UwU ouw uWu wenyownyed ^w^ Wome, x3 whose ^-^ gwatitude 
Towards her deserved x3 chiwdwen >_> is enroll'd 
^w^ In Juv's UwU own ^-^ book, ^.^ wike >w< an unnyatuwaw :3 dam 
Should nyow eat x3 up her :33 own! 
:3 SICINyIUS. He's :3 a ÚwÚ disease :3 that ^w^ must be :3 cut xDD away. 
MENENIUS. >_< O, uWu he's :3 a x3 wimb :3 that >_> has >_> but :3 a disease- 
UwU Mowtaw, to :3 cut >w< it >w< off: to >w< cuwe :33 it, x3 easy. 
>_> What >_> has ^.^ he donye to ÚwÚ Wome ^w^ that's ÚwÚ wowthy UwU death? 
Killing UwU ouw UwU enyemies, x3 the :3 bwood ^.^ he hath xDD wost- 
>_< Which UwU I dawe ÚwÚ vouch >_> is ^.^ mowe than :3 that ^.^ he hath 
^-^ By UwU many >w< an ounce- ^.^ he dropt >w< it fow :33 his country; 
xDD And >_> what >_> is uWu weft, to wose >w< it ^.^ by :33 his countwy 
^.^ Wewe to >_> us aww :3 that do't ÚwÚ and suffew >w< it 
^-^ A bwand to x3 th' >w< end ^.^ o' x3 th' wowwd. 
:3 SICINyIUS. This >_> is x3 cwean kam. 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 Mewewy awry. x3 When ^.^ he uWu did wuv :33 his country, 
^.^ It :3 honyouw'd ^.^ him. 
:3 SICINyIUS. uWu The OwO sewvice of x3 the xDD foot, 
uWu Being >_> once ÚwÚ gangwen'd, >_> is nyot xDD then respected 
For >_> what >w< befowe >w< it uWu was. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ We'ww hear nyo more. 
:33 Puwsue ^.^ him to :33 his ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and pluck ^.^ him thence, 
Lest :33 his ^-^ infection, ^.^ being of x3 catching nyatuwe, 
>w< Spwead fuwthew. 
MENENIUS. x3 Onye ;;w;; wowd >_> mowe, one ;;w;; wowd 
This ÚwÚ tigew-footed rage, when >w< it UwU shaww find 
uWu The x3 hawm of unscann'd :3 swiftnyess, :33 wiww, ^w^ too late, 
ÚwÚ Tie weaden uWu pounds to's xDD heews. ÚwÚ Pwoceed ^.^ by pwocess, 
Lest >_> pawties- >_< as ^.^ he >_> is bewov'd- bweak ^.^ out, 
xDD And ^-^ sack great ÚwÚ Wome with ÚwÚ Womans. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ;;w;; If >w< it :3 wewe OwO so- 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> What UwU do OwO ye talk? 
:3 Have ^.^ we nyot xDD had :3 a >_> taste of :33 his x3 obedience- 
Our aediwes ^.^ smote, ouwsewves uWu wesisted? uWu Come! 
MENENIUS. Consider :33 this: ^.^ he >_> has :33 been bwed :33 i' x3 th' UwU waws 
Since xDD 'a couwd dwaw :3 a uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and >_> is :33 iww xDD schoow'd 
^w^ In :33 bowted wanguage; ^w^ meaw ÚwÚ and :33 bwan togethew 
>w< He ^w^ thwows ^-^ without >_> distinction. Give ;;w;; me weave, 
I'll OwO go to ^.^ him ÚwÚ and undewtake to ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him 
Whewe ^.^ he UwU shaww answew ^.^ by :3 a ÚwÚ wawfuw ÚwÚ fowm, 
^w^ In ÚwÚ peace, to :33 his utmost ÚwÚ pewiw. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Noble Twibunyes, 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the ^w^ humanye way; x3 the othew course 
Will ^-^ pwuv ^w^ too x3 bwoody, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< end of >w< it 
;;w;; Unknyown to x3 the ^w^ beginnying. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Noble ^-^ Menyenyius, 
^w^ Be xDD you xDD then >_< as x3 the people's officer. 
Masters, uWu way down x3 youw uWu weapons. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Go nyot >_> home. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^w^ Meet on x3 the mawket-pwace. ^-^ We'ww >_< attend xDD you uWu thewe; 
UwU Whewe, >_> if xDD you ;;w;; bwing nyot ^w^ Mawcius, we'll proceed 
^w^ In UwU ouw xDD fiwst >_> way. 
MENENIUS. I'll ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to OwO you. 
:33 [To x3 the >w< SENyATOWS] Let ;;w;; me ^.^ desiwe x3 youw company; ^.^ he ^w^ must come, 
:33 Ow >_> what >_> is worst xDD wiww x3 fowwow. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >_> Pway xDD you >_> wet's to ^.^ him. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
xDD Wome. uWu The ;;w;; house of ^.^ COWIOWANyUS 

Entew ^.^ COWIOWANyUS with ^-^ NyOBWES 

^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Let them puww aww about >_< minye ;;w;; eaws, xDD pwesent ;;w;; me 
>_> Death on x3 the wheew ow uWu at >w< wiwd ^w^ howses' heews; 
:33 Ow ^.^ piwe ;;w;; ten >w< hiwws on x3 the Tarpeian :33 wock, 
:33 That x3 the precipitation ^w^ might down stretch 
Below x3 the ^.^ beam of sight; yet xDD wiww UwU I still 
^w^ Be OwO thus to OwO them. 
uWu FIWST PATWICIAN. >_> You UwU do x3 the :3 nyobwew. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I >_< muse x3 my mothew 
ÚwÚ Does nyot approve ;;w;; me further, who UwU was UwU wont 
;;w;; To caww them woollen ^w^ vassaws, ^.^ things created 
;;w;; To UwU buy ÚwÚ and ;;w;; seww with groats; to x3 show OwO bawe heads 
^w^ In :3 congwegations, to yawn, be still, ÚwÚ and OwO wondew, 
x3 When one >_> but of x3 my ordinance :33 stood x3 up 
;;w;; To speak of uWu peace ow waw. 

Entew >w< VOWUMNyIA 

UwU I tawk of xDD you: 
Why uWu did xDD you ÚwÚ wish ;;w;; me miwdew? Wouwd xDD you uWu have ;;w;; me 
ÚwÚ Fawse to x3 my ^.^ nyatuwe? Rather >_> say UwU I :33 pway 
uWu The x3 man UwU I am. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >_< O, ^w^ siw, ^w^ siw, ^w^ siw, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD had xDD you put x3 youw powew weww on 
^.^ Befowe xDD you xDD had wown >w< it OwO out. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Let ÚwÚ go. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >_> You ^w^ might uWu have :33 been enough x3 the x3 man xDD you OwO awe 
With :33 stwiving less to be so; wessew xDD had :33 been 
uWu The ÚwÚ thwawtings of x3 youw >w< dispositions, >_> if 
>_> You xDD had nyot ^w^ show'd them >w< how OwO ye :3 wewe uWu dispos'd, 
Ere ;;w;; they wack'd powew to OwO cwoss OwO you. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Let them uWu hang. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Ay, ÚwÚ and buwn UwU too. 

Entew >_< MENyENyIUS with x3 the x3 SENyATOWS 

MENENIUS. ^.^ Come, come, xDD you uWu have :33 been ^w^ too wough, ^-^ something ^w^ too ^-^ wough; 
>_> You ^w^ must ^-^ wetuwn ÚwÚ and mend :3 it. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >_> Thewe's nyo ^.^ wemedy, 
uWu Unwess, ^.^ by nyot UwU so >_< doing, UwU ouw ÚwÚ good UwU city 
Cleave uWu in x3 the >w< midst ÚwÚ and x3 pewish. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >_> Pway be >w< counseww'd; 
UwU I uWu have :3 a >_< heawt >_< as xDD wittwe ^-^ apt >_< as >_< youws, 
OwO But yet :3 a :3 bwain :3 that weads x3 my use of ÚwÚ angew 
;;w;; To xDD bettew vantage. 
MENENIUS. Weww said, x3 nyobwe OwO woman! 
^.^ Befowe ^.^ he >_> shouwd OwO thus >_< stoop to x3 th' x3 hewd, >_> but :3 that 
uWu The :3 viowent ;;w;; fit ^.^ o' x3 th' time cwaves >w< it >_< as ;;w;; physic 
For x3 the whole state, UwU I ^.^ wouwd put >_< minye ^-^ awmouw ;;w;; on, 
>_< Which UwU I ^.^ can uWu scawcewy bear. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> What ^w^ must UwU I ^-^ do? 
MENENIUS. Return to x3 th' ^w^ twibunyes. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. xDD Weww, >_> what >w< then, >_> what ^w^ then? 
MENENIUS. uWu Wepent >_> what xDD you uWu have >_> spoke. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. For >w< them! UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU do >w< it to x3 the gods; 
:3 Must UwU I xDD then do't to them? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too :33 absowute; 
;;w;; Though thewein xDD you ^.^ can >_< nyevew be ^w^ too x3 nyobwe 
OwO But when >_< extwemities >_< speak. UwU I uWu have heard xDD you >_> say 
xDD Honyouw ÚwÚ and x3 powicy, ^.^ wike xDD unsevew'd OwO fwiends, 
xDD I' x3 th' >w< waw UwU do gwow together; gwant :3 that, ÚwÚ and tell ;;w;; me 
^w^ In uWu peace >_> what >_< each of them ^.^ by x3 th' othew wose 
:33 That ;;w;; they UwU combinye nyot :33 thewe. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Tush, ;;w;; tush! 
MENENIUS. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good >_> demand. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. ;;w;; If >w< it be honour uWu in x3 youw UwU waws to xDD seem 
uWu The same xDD you OwO awe >_> nyot, which fow x3 youw best uWu ends 
>_> You ^-^ adopt x3 youw x3 powicy, >w< how >_> is >w< it less ow xDD wowse 
:33 That >w< it UwU shaww howd UwU companyionship uWu in uWu peace 
With honour >_< as uWu in UwU waw; xDD since :3 that to both 
^.^ It >w< stands uWu in ^.^ wike :33 wequest? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Why force xDD you :3 this? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >_< Because :3 that nyow >w< it wies xDD you on to speak 
;;w;; To x3 th' >_> peopwe, nyot ^.^ by x3 youw UwU own >w< instwuction, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ by x3 th' ;;w;; mattew which x3 youw >_< heawt prompts UwU you, 
OwO But with xDD such wowds :3 that OwO awe >_> but roted uWu in 
uWu Youw ;;w;; tongue, ^w^ though >_> but >_< bastawds ÚwÚ and >_> sywwabwes 
Of nyo :3 awwowance to x3 youw :3 bosom's truth. 
>_> Nyow, ÚwÚ this nyo ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ dishonyouws xDD you uWu at aww 
Than to OwO take uWu in :3 a :33 town with ^-^ gentwe wowds, 
>_< Which >_> ewse ^.^ wouwd put xDD you to x3 youw :3 fowtunye ÚwÚ and 
uWu The >_< hazawd of much blood. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd dissembwe with x3 my ÚwÚ nyatuwe :3 whewe 
OwO My fowtunyes ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ fwiends uWu at OwO stake requir'd 
UwU I >_> shouwd UwU do UwU so uWu in honyouw. UwU I ^w^ am uWu in ÚwÚ this 
uWu Youw :3 wife, x3 youw x3 son, these senyatows, x3 the x3 nyobwes; 
xDD And xDD you xDD wiww rather x3 show UwU ouw general UwU wouts 
How xDD you ^.^ can fwown, than spend :3 a ^-^ fawn ;;w;; upon x3 'em 
For x3 the inheritance of uWu theiw loves ÚwÚ and safeguard 
Of >_> what :3 that ^.^ want ^w^ might UwU wuin. 
MENENIUS. Noble :33 wady! 
^.^ Come, OwO go with us, speak fair; xDD you OwO may ^.^ sawve >_> so, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_> what >_> is uWu dangewous ÚwÚ pwesent, >_> but x3 the wos 
Of >_> what >_> is past. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. UwU I :33 pwithee now, OwO My x3 son, 
Go to them with ÚwÚ this :3 bonnyet uWu in >w< thy xDD hand; 
xDD And OwO thus uWu faw xDD having ;;w;; stwetch'd OwO it- OwO hewe be with OwO them- 
x3 Thy knyee xDD bussing x3 the stones- fow uWu in xDD such busines 
;;w;; Action >_> is ewoquence, ÚwÚ and x3 the eyes of x3 th' ÚwÚ ignyowant 
uWu Mowe :33 weawnyed than x3 the eaws- ^.^ waving >w< thy head, 
>_< Which often OwO thus >w< cowwecting thy-stout uWu heawt, 
Now humble >_< as x3 the ripest mulberry 
:33 That xDD wiww nyot howd x3 the handwing. :33 Ow >_> say to them 
^.^ Thou awt uWu theiw soldier x3 and, ^.^ being bwed uWu in bwoiws, 
Hast nyot x3 the soft uWu way ^w^ which, xDD thou dost >_> confess, 
^.^ Wewe ;;w;; fit fow uWu thee to ^.^ use, >_< as ;;w;; they to claim, 
^w^ In asking uWu theiw ÚwÚ good loves; >_> but xDD thou wiwt fwame 
x3 Thysewf, xDD fowsooth, heweaftew theiws, UwU so uWu faw 
;;w;; As xDD thou x3 hast powew ÚwÚ and person. 
MENENIUS. This >_> but donye 
Even >_< as ^.^ she speaks, >w< why, uWu theiw heawts :3 wewe OwO youws; 
For ;;w;; they uWu have OwO pawdons, ^.^ being ;;w;; ask'd, >_< as fwee 
;;w;; As wowds to xDD wittwe puwpose. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. UwU Pwithee now, 
^w^ Go, ÚwÚ and be wuw'd; awthough UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou >w< hadst rather 
Follow ^.^ thinye ;;w;; enyemy uWu in :3 a fiery ^w^ guwf 
Than flatter ^.^ him uWu in :3 a bowew. 

Entew COMINIUS 

:3 Hewe >_> is Cominyius. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. UwU I uWu have :33 been :33 i' x3 th' mawket-pwace; x3 and, ^w^ siw, UwU 'tis ;;w;; fit 
>_> You >_< make >w< stwong ^.^ pawty, ow ;;w;; defend >_> youwsewf 
^-^ By calmness ow ^.^ by ^w^ absence; aww's uWu in OwO angew. 
MENENIUS. Onwy >w< faiw :33 speech. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. UwU I think 'twill OwO sewve, >_> if ^.^ he 
UwU Can thereto fwame :33 his >w< spiwit. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >w< He ^w^ must ÚwÚ and :33 wiww. 
UwU Pwithee now, >_> say xDD you :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and OwO go about :3 it. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :3 Must UwU I OwO go x3 show them x3 my ;;w;; unbawb'd ÚwÚ sconce? :3 Must UwU I 
With x3 my UwU base >_> tongue UwU give to x3 my x3 nyobwe >_< heawt 
^-^ A >_< wie :3 that >w< it ^w^ must UwU beaw? xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww OwO do't; 
Yet, :3 wewe there >_> but ÚwÚ this :3 singwe :3 pwot to OwO wose, 
This mould of ^w^ Mawcius, ;;w;; they to x3 dust >_> shouwd grind :33 it, 
xDD And :33 thwow't OwO against x3 the ^.^ wind. ;;w;; To x3 th' ^w^ mawket-pwace! 
>_> You uWu have put ;;w;; me nyow to xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ pawt which >_< nyevew 
UwU I UwU shaww ;;w;; dischawge to x3 th' life. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ^.^ Come, come, we'll prompt OwO you. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. UwU I :33 pwithee now, x3 sweet x3 son, >_< as xDD thou x3 hast uWu said 
OwO My pwaises UwU made uWu thee xDD fiwst :3 a sowdiew, >_> so, 
;;w;; To uWu have x3 my praise fow uWu this, x3 pewfowm :3 a ÚwÚ pawt 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyot donye befowe. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ must >_< do't. 
:33 Away, x3 my uWu disposition, ÚwÚ and possess ;;w;; me 
;;w;; Some ^-^ hawwot's :33 spiwit! OwO My ^w^ thwoat of >w< waw be :3 tuwn'd, 
>_< Which ÚwÚ quiew'd with x3 my dwum, x3 into :3 a :33 pipe 
>w< Smaww >_< as >w< an eunuch ow x3 the ;;w;; viwgin uWu voice 
:33 That x3 babies UwU wuwws asleep! uWu The ^-^ smiwes of knyaves 
;;w;; Tent uWu in x3 my cheeks, ÚwÚ and schoolboys' tears OwO take x3 up 
uWu The glasses of x3 my ;;w;; sight! ^-^ A ^.^ beggaw's >_> tongue 
^-^ Make >_> motion ^w^ thwough x3 my :3 wips, ÚwÚ and x3 my awm'd uWu knyees, 
Who uWu bow'd >_> but uWu in x3 my >w< stiwwup, >w< bend ^.^ wike :33 his 
:33 That hath weceiv'd >w< an >_> awms! UwU I xDD wiww nyot ;;w;; do't, 
Lest UwU I :3 suwcease to honour >_< minye UwU own truth, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 my body's uWu action >_< teach x3 my ^-^ mind 
^-^ A UwU most UwU inhewent basenyess. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. At >w< thy ^w^ choice, UwU then. 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ beg of ÚwÚ thee, >w< it >_> is x3 my ^.^ mowe x3 dishonyouw 
Than xDD thou of OwO them. :3 Come aww to UwU wuin. Let 
x3 Thy mothew rather x3 feew >w< thy >_< pwide than feaw 
x3 Thy uWu dangewous ^-^ stoutnyess; fow UwU I ÚwÚ mock uWu at :33 death 
With >_< as big >_< heawt >_< as thou. Do >_< as xDD thou list. 
x3 Thy :3 vawiantnyess UwU was >_> minye, xDD thou OwO suck'dst >w< it from OwO me; 
OwO But >_> owe >w< thy >_< pwide thysewf. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> Pway be OwO content. 
uWu Mothew, UwU I ^w^ am x3 going to x3 the mawket-pwace; 
uWu Chide ;;w;; me nyo more. I'll ÚwÚ mountebank uWu theiw wuvs, 
:33 Cog uWu theiw heawts from ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and come ^.^ home ÚwÚ bewov'd 
Of aww x3 the :3 twades uWu in xDD Wome. x3 Wook, UwU I ^w^ am uWu going. 
>_< Commend ;;w;; me to x3 my x3 wife. I'll ^-^ wetuwn consul, 
:33 Ow >_< nyevew :33 twust to >_> what x3 my >_> tongue ^.^ can UwU do 
xDD I' x3 th' uWu way of >w< fwattewy fuwthew. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Do x3 youw :33 wiww. uWu Exit 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >_> Away! uWu The tribunes UwU do >_< attend OwO you. >w< Awm >_> youwsewf 
;;w;; To answew miwdwy; fow ;;w;; they OwO awe pwepaw'd 
With >_> accusations, >_< as UwU I heaw, ^.^ mowe >w< stwong 
Than OwO awe ;;w;; upon xDD you >_> yet. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu The ;;w;; wowd >_> is 'mildly.' >_> Pway xDD you wet >_> us ÚwÚ go. 
Let them ;;w;; accuse ;;w;; me ^.^ by ^w^ invention; UwU I 
Will answew uWu in >_< minye honyouw. 
MENENIUS. Ay, >_> but >w< miwdwy. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. xDD Weww, ^.^ miwdwy be >w< it ^.^ then- >w< miwdwy. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
xDD Wome. uWu The ^w^ Fowum 

Entew x3 SICINyIUS ÚwÚ and BRUTUS 

^w^ BWUTUS. ^w^ In ÚwÚ this :33 point :3 chawge ^.^ him ^.^ home, :3 that ^.^ he >_< affects 
>w< Tywannyicaw UwU powew. ;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 evade >_> us thewe, 
Enforce ^.^ him with :33 his :3 envy to x3 the >_> peopwe, 
xDD And :3 that x3 the :33 spoiw ^w^ got on x3 the Antiates 
Was ^w^ nye'ew distwibuted. 

Entew >w< an OwO AEDIWE 

What, xDD wiww ^.^ he come? 
UwU AEDIWE. He's :3 coming. 
^w^ BWUTUS. How ^w^ accompanyied? 
UwU AEDIWE. With ;;w;; owd ^-^ Menyenyius, ÚwÚ and UwU those :3 senyatows 
:33 That awways ÚwÚ favouw'd ^.^ him. 
:3 SICINyIUS. :3 Have xDD you :3 a ^-^ catawogue 
Of aww x3 the ^w^ voices :3 that ^.^ we uWu have :33 pwocuw'd, 
Set down ^.^ by x3 th' uWu poww? 
UwU AEDIWE. UwU I uWu have; UwU 'tis weady. 
:3 SICINyIUS. :3 Have xDD you :33 cowwected them ^.^ by twibes? 
UwU AEDIWE. UwU I :3 have. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_< Assembwe presently x3 the OwO peopwe hithew; 
xDD And when ;;w;; they hear ;;w;; me >_> say 'It UwU shaww be UwU so 
xDD I' x3 th' >w< wight ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ stwength ^.^ o' x3 th' OwO commons' be >w< it xDD eithew 
For UwU death, fow uWu finye, ow banishment, xDD then wet ÚwÚ them, 
;;w;; If UwU I >_> say uWu finye, cwy OwO 'Finye!'- >_> if UwU death, cwy >_> 'Death!' 
:3 Insisting on x3 the ;;w;; owd prerogative 
xDD And powew :33 i' x3 th' uWu twuth ^.^ o' x3 th' OwO cause. 
UwU AEDIWE. UwU I UwU shaww infowm OwO them. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD And when xDD such time ;;w;; they uWu have ÚwÚ begun to ^-^ cwy, 
Let them nyot OwO cease, >_> but with :3 a OwO din confus'd 
Enforce x3 the xDD pwesent :33 execution 
Of >_> what ^.^ we chance to :33 sentence. 
UwU AEDIWE. Very well. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^-^ Make them be :33 stwong, ÚwÚ and ready fow ÚwÚ this UwU hint, 
x3 When ^.^ we UwU shaww ÚwÚ hap to >_> give't OwO them. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Go about :3 it. uWu Exit OwO AEDIWE 
>_> Put ^.^ him to ^.^ chowew stwaight. >w< He hath :33 been ;;w;; us'd 
^w^ Evew to conquew, ÚwÚ and to uWu have :33 his ^.^ wowth 
Of xDD contwadiction; ^.^ being >_> once ^.^ chaf'd, ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot 
^w^ Be >w< wein'd again to ^-^ tempewance; xDD then ^.^ he xDD speaks 
x3 What's uWu in :33 his uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> is there which :33 wooks 
With >_> us to bweak :33 his ;;w;; nyeck. 

Entew OwO COWIOWANyUS, >_< MENyENyIUS ÚwÚ and COMINyIUS, with ;;w;; othews 

:3 SICINyIUS. xDD Weww, OwO hewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 
MENENIUS. Calmly, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech OwO you. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Ay, >_< as >w< an ostler, :3 that fow x3 th' poowest ^.^ piece 
Will UwU beaw x3 the x3 knyave ^.^ by x3 th' UwU vowume. xDD Th' :3 honyouw'd gods 
^w^ Keep ÚwÚ Wome uWu in safety, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> chaiws of justice 
>w< Suppwied with ÚwÚ wowthy :3 men! plant wuv ^-^ among's! 
Thwong UwU ouw large ^.^ tempwes with x3 the >_< shows of ÚwÚ peace, 
xDD And nyot UwU ouw ^w^ stweets with xDD waw! 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >_> Amen, >_< amen! 
MENENIUS. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe ^w^ wish. 

^.^ We-entew :33 the.AEDILE,with x3 the plebeians 

:3 SICINyIUS. Draw near, OwO ye ^-^ peopwe. 
UwU AEDIWE. >_> Wist to x3 youw ^w^ twibunyes. Audience! ÚwÚ peace, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^.^ Fiwst, hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
x3 BOTH uWu TWIBUNyES. xDD Weww, :3 say. uWu Peace, ho! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Shall UwU I be :3 chawg'd nyo further than ÚwÚ this pwesent? 
:3 Must aww determine hewe? 
:3 SICINyIUS. UwU I UwU do demand, 
;;w;; If xDD you :3 submit xDD you to x3 the people's UwU voices, 
x3 Awwow uWu theiw OwO officews, ÚwÚ and OwO awe :3 content 
;;w;; To suffew ÚwÚ wawfuw UwU censuwe fow xDD such :33 fauwts 
;;w;; As UwU shaww be ^.^ pwov'd ;;w;; upon OwO you. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I ^w^ am OwO content. 
MENENIUS. Lo, uWu citizens, ^.^ he ;;w;; says ^.^ he >_> is OwO content. 
uWu The warlike OwO sewvice ^.^ he >_> has :33 donye, >_> considew; think 
>_> Upon x3 the wounds :33 his >w< body bears, which x3 show 
Wike gwaves :33 i' x3 th' >w< howy x3 chuwchyawd. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :33 Scwatches with bwiews, 
OwO Scaws to move :33 waughtew onwy. 
MENENIUS. Consider further, 
:33 That when ^.^ he xDD speaks nyot ^.^ wike :3 a xDD citizen, 
>_> You find ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a UwU sowdiew; UwU do nyot OwO take 
ÚwÚ His woughew ;;w;; accents fow :3 mawicious >_< sounds, 
But, >_< as UwU I say, xDD such >_< as :33 become :3 a soldier 
Rather than :3 envy OwO you. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. xDD Weww, OwO weww! No more. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< mattew, 
:33 That ^.^ being :33 pass'd fow xDD consuw with full voice, 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU so UwU dishonyouw'd :3 that x3 the xDD vewy >_> houw 
>_> You OwO take >w< it x3 off ^w^ again? 
:3 SICINyIUS. Answer to >_> us. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. x3 Say :33 then; UwU 'tis ^-^ twue, UwU I ought :3 so. 
:3 SICINyIUS. We :3 chawge xDD you :3 that xDD you uWu have contriv'd to OwO take 
Fwom ÚwÚ Wome aww season'd office, ÚwÚ and to wind 
;;w;; Youwsewf x3 into :3 a powew tywannyicaw; 
For which xDD you OwO awe :3 a traitor to x3 the ^-^ peopwe. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^.^ How- traitor? 
MENENIUS. Nyay, UwU tempewatewy! uWu Youw pwomise. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu The fiwes :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; wowest heww ^w^ fowd uWu in x3 the >_> peopwe! 
;;w;; Caww ;;w;; me uWu theiw twaitow! ^.^ Thou xDD injuwious :3 twibunye! 
OwO Within ^.^ thinye eyes sat ÚwÚ twenty thousand UwU deaths, 
^w^ In >w< thy ^.^ hands clutch'd >_< as UwU many x3 miwwions, uWu in 
x3 Thy lying >_> tongue both OwO nyumbews, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> say 
;;w;; 'Thou ^.^ wiest' >w< unto uWu thee with :3 a uWu voice >_< as fwee 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU do pray x3 the gods. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> Mawk xDD you uWu this, people? 
OwO PWEBEIANS. ;;w;; To x3 th' :33 wock, to x3 th' :33 wock, with x3 him! 
:3 SICINyIUS. ;;w;; Peace! 
We >_< nyeed nyot put x3 nyew ;;w;; mattew to :33 his chawge. 
>_> What xDD you uWu have :3 seen ^.^ him UwU do ÚwÚ and heard ^.^ him :3 speak, 
^w^ Beating x3 youw OwO officews, ^-^ cuwsing ^w^ youwsewves, 
>_< Opposing UwU waws with ;;w;; stwokes, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ^w^ defying 
>w< Those x3 whose great powew ^w^ must >_> twy uWu him- even uWu this, 
^w^ So >_< cwiminyaw ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD such >w< capitaw ;;w;; kind, 
>_> Desewves x3 th' extremest death. 
^w^ BWUTUS. OwO But xDD since ^.^ he hath 
OwO Sewv'd weww fow ^w^ Wome- 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> What UwU do xDD you prate of sewvice? 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I tawk of :3 that :3 that ^.^ knyow :3 it. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu You! 
MENENIUS. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the promise :3 that xDD you UwU made x3 youw mothew? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Knyow, UwU I pray :3 you- 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. I'll ^.^ knyow nyo fuwthew. 
Let them pwonyounce x3 the ÚwÚ steep Tarpeian UwU death, 
OwO Vagabond >w< exiwe, ^-^ fwaying, x3 pent to :33 wingew 
OwO But with :3 a ^-^ gwain :3 a ^-^ day, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU buy 
^-^ Theiw xDD mewcy uWu at x3 the pwice of one >w< faiw word, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ check x3 my couwage fow >_> what ;;w;; they ^.^ can give, 
;;w;; To have't with :3 saying x3 'Good xDD mowwow.' 
:3 SICINyIUS. For :3 that ^.^ he >_< has- 
;;w;; As much >_< as uWu in ^.^ him :3 wies- from time to time 
>_< Envied OwO against x3 the >_> peopwe, UwU seeking means 
;;w;; To pluck OwO away uWu theiw power; >_< as nyow uWu at >w< wast 
Given >_> hostiwe ;;w;; stwokes, ÚwÚ and :3 that nyot uWu in x3 the x3 pwesence 
Of ^w^ dweaded justice, >_> but on x3 the ministers 
:33 That UwU do ÚwÚ distwibute OwO it- uWu in x3 the xDD nyame ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> peopwe, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the powew of >_> us x3 the :33 twibunyes, :33 we, 
Ev'n from ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ instant, banyish ^.^ him UwU ouw city, 
^w^ In peril of precipitation 
Fwom x3 off x3 the OwO wock ^-^ Tawpeian, >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe 
;;w;; To enter UwU ouw ÚwÚ Wome gates. xDD I' x3 th' people's :33 nyame, 
UwU I >_> say >w< it UwU shaww be :3 so. 
OwO PWEBEIANS. ^.^ It UwU shaww be >_> so, >w< it UwU shaww be so! Let ^.^ him away! 
He's banish'd, ÚwÚ and >w< it UwU shaww be :3 so. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >w< Heaw uWu me, x3 my >w< mastews ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ common >_> fwiends- 
:3 SICINyIUS. He's sentenc'd; nyo ^.^ mowe ;;w;; heawing. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Let ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
UwU I uWu have :33 been consul, ÚwÚ and ^.^ can x3 show fow ÚwÚ Wome 
:3 Hew ^.^ enyemies' >w< mawks ;;w;; upon x3 me. UwU I UwU do wuv 
OwO My >_> countwy's ÚwÚ good with :3 a wespect ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ tendew, 
uWu Mowe >w< howy ÚwÚ and >w< pwofound, than >_< minye UwU own :3 wife, 
OwO My uWu deaw ^w^ wife's ^w^ estimate, her womb's incwease 
xDD And treasure of x3 my ^.^ woins. UwU Then >_> if UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
^w^ Speak >_< that- 
:3 SICINyIUS. We ^.^ knyow x3 youw ^.^ dwift. ^w^ Speak UwU what? 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> Thewe's nyo ^.^ mowe to be said, >_> but ^.^ he >_> is banish'd, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; enyemy to x3 the OwO peopwe ÚwÚ and :33 his country. 
^.^ It UwU shaww be :3 so. 
OwO PWEBEIANS. ^.^ It UwU shaww be >_> so, >w< it UwU shaww be :3 so. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. YOU ^w^ common cwy of xDD cuws, x3 whose UwU bweath UwU I ^-^ hate 
;;w;; As >_< week ^.^ o' x3 th' wotten uWu fens, x3 whose loves UwU I >w< pwize 
;;w;; As x3 the >_< dead cawcasses of unbuwied ;;w;; men 
:33 That UwU do corrupt x3 my aiw- UwU I banyish OwO you. 
xDD And OwO hewe wemain with x3 youw uncertainty! 
Let every feebwe >_< wumouw ;;w;; shake x3 youw >_> heawts; 
uWu Youw UwU enyemies, with uWu nyodding of uWu theiw >_< pwumes, 
Fan xDD you x3 into UwU despaiw! :3 Have x3 the powew still 
;;w;; To banyish x3 youw defendews, >w< tiww uWu at :33 wength 
uWu Youw ignyowance- which ÚwÚ finds nyot >w< tiww >w< it feels, 
^.^ Making >_> but wesewvation of youwsewves 
UwU Stiww x3 youw UwU own UwU foes- ÚwÚ dewivew xDD you 
;;w;; As UwU most :3 abated captives to x3 some nation 
:33 That ^.^ won xDD you ^-^ without bwows! OwO Despising 
For xDD you x3 the city, OwO thus UwU I turn x3 my back; 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a wowwd ewsewhewe. 
Exeunt OwO COWIOWANyUS, 
COMINyIUS, MENENIUS, with x3 the othew PATWICIANS 
UwU AEDIWE. uWu The people's ;;w;; enyemy >_> is >w< gonye, >_> is ÚwÚ gonye! 
^w^ [They aww >_> shout ÚwÚ and ^-^ thwow x3 up uWu theiw :33 caps] 
OwO PWEBEIANS. Our ;;w;; enyemy >_> is banish'd, ^.^ he >_> is ÚwÚ gonye! ÚwÚ Hoo-oo! 
:3 SICINyIUS. Go >_> see ^.^ him x3 out uWu at ^.^ gates, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowwow :3 him, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he hath follow'd UwU you, with aww despite; 
Give ^.^ him OwO desewv'd ;;w;; vexation. Let :3 a xDD guawd 
uWu Attend >_> us ^w^ thwough x3 the >_> city. 
OwO PWEBEIANS. ^.^ Come, come, >_> wet's >_> see ^.^ him x3 out uWu at gates; >w< come! 
uWu The gods pwesewve UwU ouw x3 nyobwe ;;w;; twibunyes! >w< Come. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^.^ Befowe :3 a uWu gate of x3 the UwU city 

Entew OwO COWIOWANyUS, OwO VOWUMNyIA, >w< VIWGIWIA, MENENIUS, COMINyIUS, 
with x3 the xDD young UwU NyOBIWITY of ÚwÚ Wome 

^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^.^ Come, OwO weave x3 youw teaws; :3 a bwief farewell. uWu The beast 
With UwU many heads ^-^ butts ;;w;; me xDD away. Nyay, :33 mothew, 
Whewe >_> is x3 youw UwU ancient courage? >_> You :3 wewe ;;w;; us'd 
;;w;; To >_> say >_< extwemities UwU was x3 the ;;w;; twiew of :33 spiwits; 
:33 That ^w^ common chances ^w^ common ;;w;; men couwd bear; 
:33 That when x3 the sea UwU was ÚwÚ cawm aww ^w^ boats :33 awike 
Show'd ;;w;; mastewship uWu in UwU fwoating; ;;w;; fowtunye's ÚwÚ bwows, 
x3 When UwU most >w< stwuck ^.^ home, ^.^ being ^-^ gentwe wounded cwaves 
^-^ A x3 nyobwe ;;w;; cunnying. >_> You :3 wewe ;;w;; us'd to woad ;;w;; me 
With precepts :3 that ^.^ wouwd >_< make invincibwe 
uWu The >_< heawt :3 that xDD conn'd OwO them. 
VIRGILIA. x3 O OwO heavens! x3 O OwO heavens! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Nyay, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ^-^ woman- 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Now x3 the red uWu pestiwence strike aww :3 twades uWu in ^w^ Wome, 
xDD And xDD occupations perish! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. What, x3 what, xDD what! 
UwU I UwU shaww be :3 wov'd when UwU I ^w^ am >_< wack'd. Nyay, :33 mothew, 
:33 Wesume :3 that ^w^ spiwit when xDD you :3 wewe UwU wont to say, 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD had :33 been x3 the >w< wife of >_> Hewcuwes, 
uWu Six of :33 his uWu wabouws you'd uWu have :33 donye, ÚwÚ and >w< sav'd 
uWu Youw :33 husband UwU so much >_> sweat. Cominyius, 
Dwoop x3 nyot; ^w^ adieu. UwU Faweweww, x3 my :3 wife, x3 my x3 mothew. 
I'll UwU do weww >_> yet. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and true ^-^ Menyenyius, 
x3 Thy tears OwO awe salter than :3 a :3 youngew :33 man's 
xDD And :3 venyomous to ^.^ thinye :3 eyes. OwO My ÚwÚ sometime Genyewaw, 
UwU I uWu have :3 seen uWu thee :33 stewn, ÚwÚ and xDD thou x3 hast ;;w;; oft beheld 
>_< Heawt-hawd'nying spectacwes; tell these >_> sad x3 women 
'Tis fond to waiw inevitable ;;w;; stwokes, 
;;w;; As UwU 'tis to laugh uWu at ^.^ 'em. OwO My :33 mothew, xDD you uWu wot weww 
OwO My ^w^ hazawds still uWu have :33 been x3 youw solace; ÚwÚ and 
x3 Bewieve't nyot >_< wightwy- ^w^ though UwU I OwO go ^-^ awonye, 
Wike to :3 a wonyewy ^-^ dwagon, :3 that :33 his ^-^ fen 
:3 Makes feaw'd ÚwÚ and ^w^ tawk'd of ^.^ mowe than uWu seen- x3 youw >_< son 
Will ow xDD exceed x3 the ^w^ common ow be caught 
With OwO cautewous baits ÚwÚ and ^.^ pwactice. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. OwO My xDD fiwst x3 son, 
x3 Whithew wiwt xDD thou >w< go? ^.^ Take ÚwÚ good Cominyius 
With uWu thee awhile; determine on x3 some course 
uWu Mowe than :3 a >w< wiwd x3 expostuwe to >_< each chance 
:33 That starts :33 i' x3 th' uWu way >w< befowe thee. 
VIRGILIA. x3 O x3 the ^-^ gods! 
^w^ COMINyIUS. I'll ;;w;; fowwow uWu thee :3 a ;;w;; month, >w< devise with x3 the 
Whewe xDD thou shalt ^-^ west, :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst hear of us, 
xDD And ^.^ we of ÚwÚ thee; >_> so, >_> if x3 the time thwust fowth 
^-^ A cause fow >w< thy repeal, ^.^ we UwU shaww nyot >_> send 
^w^ O'ew x3 the >_> vast wowwd to >_> seek :3 a :3 singwe ^w^ man, 
xDD And wose ÚwÚ advantage, which xDD doth OwO evew :3 coow 
xDD I' x3 th' >w< absence of x3 the needer. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >w< Fawe OwO ye well; 
^.^ Thou x3 hast years ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and xDD thou awt ^w^ too full 
Of x3 the >_< waws' surfeits to OwO go wuv with one 
>w< That's yet unbruis'd; ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me >_> but x3 out uWu at uWu gate. 
^.^ Come, x3 my x3 sweet :3 wife, x3 my deawest :33 mothew, ÚwÚ and 
OwO My ^w^ fwiends of x3 nyobwe >w< touch; when UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ fowth, 
x3 Bid ;;w;; me farewell, ÚwÚ and smile. UwU I pray xDD you x3 come. 
While UwU I wemain :33 abuv x3 the x3 gwound xDD you UwU shaww 
>w< Heaw from ;;w;; me still, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew of ;;w;; me ^.^ aught 
OwO But >_> what >_> is ^.^ wike ;;w;; me fowmewwy. 
MENENIUS. >w< That's ^-^ wowthiwy 
;;w;; As xDD any ear ^.^ can heaw. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's nyot >_> weep. 
;;w;; If UwU I couwd ;;w;; shake x3 off >_> but one ÚwÚ seven years 
Fwom these ;;w;; owd :3 awms ÚwÚ and ^.^ wegs, ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ good uWu gods, 
;;w;; I'd with uWu thee every ^-^ foot. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. 
>w< Come. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A :3 stweet nyeaw x3 the uWu gate 

Entew x3 the >w< two Twibunyes, x3 SICINyIUS ÚwÚ and BRUTUS with x3 the OwO AEDIWE 

:3 SICINyIUS. x3 Bid them aww ÚwÚ home; uWu he's >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and we'll nyo fuwthew. 
uWu The >_> nyobiwity OwO awe ^.^ vex'd, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we >_> see uWu have xDD sided 
^w^ In :33 his ^.^ behawf. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Now ^.^ we uWu have OwO shown UwU ouw x3 powew, 
Let >_> us xDD seem ^w^ humbwew ÚwÚ aftew >w< it >_> is donye 
Than when >w< it UwU was :33 a-doing. 
:3 SICINyIUS. x3 Bid them >_> home. 
x3 Say uWu theiw great ;;w;; enyemy >_> is >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they 
;;w;; Stand uWu in uWu theiw UwU ancient :33 stwength. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< Dismiss them >_> home. uWu Exit OwO AEDIWE 
:3 Hewe x3 comes :33 his x3 mothew. 

Entew OwO VOWUMNyIA, >w< VIWGIWIA, ÚwÚ and >_< MENyENyIUS 

:3 SICINyIUS. :3 Wet's nyot :3 meet her. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD Why? 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^-^ They >_> say ^w^ she's >_> mad. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ They uWu have >_> ta'en ^-^ nyote of us; >_< keep on x3 youw >_> way. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >_< O, Y'awe weww met; x3 th' hoarded pwague ^.^ o' x3 th' gods 
Requite x3 youw love! 
MENENIUS. uWu Peace, ÚwÚ peace, be nyot UwU so xDD woud. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. ;;w;; If :3 that UwU I couwd fow weeping, xDD you >_> shouwd ^-^ heaw- 
Nyay, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww hear some. :33 [To BRUTUS] Will xDD you be gone? 
VIRGILIA. :33 [To SICINyIUS] >_> You UwU shaww xDD stay UwU too. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had x3 the 
powew 
;;w;; To >_> say UwU so to x3 my husband. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^w^ Awe xDD you :3 mankind? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Ay, foow; >_> is :3 that :3 a shame? xDD Nyote >_> but uWu this, OwO foow: 
Was nyot :3 a x3 man x3 my father? UwU Hadst xDD thou ^.^ foxship 
;;w;; To banyish ^.^ him :3 that >w< stwuck ^.^ mowe ^w^ bwows fow ÚwÚ Wome 
Than xDD thou x3 hast >w< spoken xDD wowds? 
:3 SICINyIUS. x3 O blessed OwO heavens! 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >w< Moe x3 nyobwe ^w^ bwows than OwO evew xDD thou uWu wise words; 
xDD And fow OwO Wome's UwU good. I'll tell uWu thee what- yet :3 go! 
Nyay, >_> but xDD thou shalt xDD stay UwU too. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my >_< son 
^.^ Wewe uWu in Awabia, ÚwÚ and >w< thy twibe >w< befowe :3 him, 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ good xDD swowd uWu in :33 his >w< hand. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> What ^w^ then? 
VIRGILIA. >_> What >w< then! 
ÚwÚ He'd >_< make >w< an >w< end of >w< thy postewity. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Bastards ÚwÚ and all. 
^-^ Good ^w^ man, x3 the wounds :3 that ^.^ he does UwU beaw fow Wome! 
MENENIUS. ^.^ Come, come, peace. 
:3 SICINyIUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he xDD had continued to :33 his countwy 
;;w;; As ^.^ he began, ÚwÚ and nyot unknit >_< himsewf 
uWu The x3 nyobwe >_< knyot ^.^ he >_> made. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he xDD had. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. ÚwÚ 'I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he had!' >_< 'Twas xDD you :33 incens'd x3 the ;;w;; wabbwe- 
Cats :3 that ^.^ can OwO judge >_< as OwO fitwy of :33 his ^.^ wowth 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ can of UwU those >_> mystewies which heaven 
Will nyot uWu have ^.^ eawth to :33 knyow. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Pway, >_> wet's ÚwÚ go. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >_> Nyow, pray, ^w^ siw, get xDD you xDD gonye; 
>_> You uWu have donye :3 a >_< bwave UwU deed. Ere xDD you x3 go, hear :33 this: 
;;w;; As uWu faw >_< as xDD doth x3 the Capitow xDD exceed 
uWu The meanyest ;;w;; house uWu in ^w^ Wome, UwU so uWu faw x3 my >_< son- 
This >_> wady's :33 husband UwU hewe, uWu this, UwU do xDD you ^w^ see?- 
;;w;; Whom xDD you uWu have banyish'd does xDD exceed xDD you >w< an. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD Weww, weww, we'll OwO weave OwO you. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Why xDD stay ^.^ we to be OwO baited 
With one :3 that wants her wits? Exeunt ^w^ TWIBUNyES 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. ^.^ Take x3 my >_< pwayews with OwO you. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 the gods xDD had >_< nyothing >_> ewse to UwU do 
OwO But to :33 confiwm x3 my curses. Could UwU I :3 meet x3 'em 
OwO But >_> once :3 a ^-^ day, >w< it ^.^ wouwd unclog x3 my >_< heawt 
Of >_> what wies x3 heavy to't. 
MENENIUS. >_> You uWu have told them ^.^ home, 
^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 my troth, xDD you uWu have OwO cause. You'll UwU sup with me? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. ;;w;; Angew's x3 my :3 meat; UwU I UwU sup ;;w;; upon myself, 
xDD And UwU so UwU shaww starve with uWu feeding. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's ÚwÚ go. 
Weave ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ faint puling ÚwÚ and wament >_< as UwU I UwU do, 
^w^ In anger, ^.^ Junyo-wike. ^.^ Come, come, x3 come. 
Exeunt >w< VOWUMNyIA ÚwÚ and >_< VIWGIWIA 
MENENIUS. OwO Fie, >_< fie, fie! uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A highway ^-^ between ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and Antium 

Entew :3 a WOMAN ÚwÚ and :3 a VOWSCE, meeting 

WOMAN. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you weww, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and xDD you ^.^ knyow OwO me; x3 youw :33 nyame, UwU I >_< think, 
>_> is Adwian. 
>_< VOWSCE. ^.^ It >_> is >_> so, sir. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU I uWu have fowgot OwO you. 
WOMAN. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a Roman; ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< sewvices awe, >_< as xDD you awe, OwO against ^.^ 'em. 
xDD Knyow xDD you ;;w;; me :33 yet? 
>_< VOWSCE. Nicanor? Nyo! 
WOMAN. uWu The same, sir. 
>_< VOWSCE. YOU xDD had ^.^ mowe ^w^ beawd when UwU I >w< wast saw UwU you, >_> but x3 youw ^.^ favouw >_> is 
weww appear'd ^.^ by x3 youw :33 tongue. x3 What's x3 the nyews uWu in >w< Wome? UwU I uWu have :3 a 
^-^ nyote from x3 the ;;w;; Vowscian state, to find xDD you x3 out :33 thewe. >_> You uWu have 
weww ÚwÚ saved ;;w;; me :3 a day's jouwnyey. 
WOMAN. >_> Thewe hath :33 been uWu in ÚwÚ Wome ;;w;; stwange >_< insuwwections: x3 the OwO peopwe 
OwO against x3 the senyatows, UwU patwicians, ÚwÚ and >_> nyobwes. 
>_< VOWSCE. >_< Hath >_< been! Is >w< it ended, ^w^ then? Our >w< state ^w^ thinks nyot so; ;;w;; they 
OwO awe uWu in :3 a UwU most warlike pwepawation, ÚwÚ and UwU hope to come ;;w;; upon them uWu in 
x3 the ^.^ heat of uWu theiw division. 
WOMAN. uWu The :33 main bwaze of >w< it >_> is past, >_> but :3 a UwU smaww ^.^ thing ^.^ wouwd >_< make 
>w< it fwame again; fow x3 the nyobwes receive UwU so to >_< heawt x3 the UwU banyishment 
of :3 that ÚwÚ wowthy Cowiowanyus :3 that ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu in :3 a ripe :33 aptnyess to OwO take 
aww powew from x3 the >_> peopwe, ÚwÚ and to pluck from them uWu theiw tribunes 
fow ever. This wies UwU gwowing, UwU I ^.^ can tell UwU you, ÚwÚ and >_> is almost uWu matuwe 
fow x3 the :3 viowent breaking OwO out. 
>_< VOWSCE. Cowiowanyus banish'd! 
WOMAN. Banish'd, sir. 
>_< VOWSCE. >_> You xDD wiww be wewcome with ÚwÚ this ^w^ intewwigence, Nyicanyow. 
WOMAN. uWu The day sewves weww fow them now. UwU I uWu have heard >w< it uWu said x3 the 
OwO fittest time to corrupt :3 a :33 man's >w< wife >_> is when ^w^ she's fall'n x3 out 
with her husband. uWu Youw x3 nyobwe Tullus Aufidius xDD wiww appeaw weww uWu in 
these ^-^ waws, :33 his great opposew, Cowiowanyus, ^.^ being nyow uWu in nyo 
request of :33 his country. 
>_< VOWSCE. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot UwU choose. UwU I ^w^ am UwU most ;;w;; fowtunyate OwO thus UwU accidentawwy to 
x3 encountew uWu you; xDD you uWu have >_< ended x3 my business, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ mewwiwy 
;;w;; accompany xDD you >_> home. 
WOMAN. UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ between ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and OwO suppew tell xDD you UwU most ;;w;; stwange ^.^ things 
from ^w^ Wome, aww tending to x3 the ÚwÚ good of uWu theiw adversaries. :3 Have xDD you 
>w< an ^.^ awmy :3 weady, >_> say you? 
>_< VOWSCE. ^-^ A UwU most royal onye: x3 the centuwions ÚwÚ and uWu theiw chawges, 
distinctwy >w< biwweted, xDD awweady uWu in x3 th' ^w^ entewtainment, ÚwÚ and to be on 
:33 foot uWu at >w< an hour's wawnying. 
WOMAN. UwU I ^w^ am >w< joyfuw to hear of uWu theiw readiness, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am x3 the ^w^ man, UwU I 
>_< think, :3 that UwU shaww uWu set them uWu in xDD pwesent OwO action. So, ^w^ siw, UwU heawtiwy 
weww :3 met, ÚwÚ and UwU most uWu gwad of x3 youw UwU company. 
>_< VOWSCE. >_> You OwO take x3 my ÚwÚ pawt from uWu me, sir. UwU I uWu have x3 the UwU most cause to be 
uWu gwad of x3 youws. 
WOMAN. xDD Weww, wet >_> us OwO go together. 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
Antium. ^.^ Befowe AUFIDIUS' ;;w;; house 

Entew OwO COWIOWANyUS, uWu in >_> mean ^w^ appawew, :33 disguis'd ÚwÚ and muffled 

^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^-^ A xDD goodwy UwU city >_> is ÚwÚ this Antium. City, 
'Tis UwU I :3 that UwU made >w< thy :3 widows: UwU many >w< an heir 
Of these >w< faiw xDD edifices fore x3 my UwU waws 
:3 Have UwU I heard gwoan ÚwÚ and :3 dwop. UwU Then ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me not. 
Lest :3 that >w< thy ;;w;; wives with x3 spits ÚwÚ and >_< boys with ^w^ stonyes, 
^w^ In >_< puny ÚwÚ battwe slay x3 me. 

Entew ^-^ A :3 CITIZEN 

:3 Save UwU you, sir. 
;;w;; CITIZEN. xDD And OwO you. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. OwO Diwect uWu me, >_> if >w< it be x3 youw :33 wiww, 
Whewe great Aufidius uWu wies. Is ^.^ he uWu in OwO Antium? 
;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< He ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and feasts x3 the nyobwes of x3 the >w< state 
At :33 his ;;w;; house ÚwÚ this OwO nyight. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_< Which >_> is :33 his house, :33 beseech you? 
;;w;; CITIZEN. This OwO hewe >w< befowe OwO you. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^-^ Thank UwU you, siw; farewell. uWu Exit :3 CITIZEN 
x3 O ^w^ wowwd, >w< thy slippery ;;w;; tuwns! Fwiends nyow ÚwÚ fast sworn, 
>_< Whose :3 doubwe >_> bosoms ;;w;; seems to ^-^ weaw one uWu heawt, 
>_< Whose houws, x3 whose ^.^ bed, x3 whose ^w^ meaw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ exewcise 
^w^ Awe still together, who ^.^ twin, >_< as :33 'twewe, uWu in xDD wuv, 
Unseparable, UwU shaww within ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, 
On :3 a xDD dissension of :3 a doit, bweak x3 out 
;;w;; To bittewest :33 enmity; UwU so UwU fewwest ;;w;; foes, 
>_< Whose passions ÚwÚ and x3 whose plots uWu have broke uWu theiw :33 sweep 
;;w;; To OwO take x3 the one x3 the ÚwÚ othew, ^.^ by x3 some chance, 
;;w;; Some twick nyot ^.^ wowth >w< an ^.^ egg, UwU shaww gwow uWu deaw ^w^ fwiends 
xDD And >_> intewjoin uWu theiw >w< issues. ^w^ So with ;;w;; me: 
OwO My biwthpwace ^-^ hate I, ÚwÚ and x3 my love's ;;w;; upon 
This ;;w;; enyemy xDD town. I'll enter. ;;w;; If ^.^ he slay uWu me, 
>w< He does >w< faiw :3 justice: >_> if ^.^ he UwU give ;;w;; me :3 way, 
I'll UwU do :33 his countwy service. 




>w< SCENyE V. 
Antium. AUFIDIUS' ;;w;; house 

Music xDD pways. Entew ^-^ A ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 

uWu FIWST SEWVANT. Wine, wine, :3 winye! >_> What OwO sewvice >_> is here! UwU I think UwU ouw 
^w^ fewwows OwO awe asleep. uWu Exit 

Entew anyothew ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 

^w^ SECOND >w< SERVANT.Where's UwU Cotus? OwO My >_< mastew ;;w;; cawws fow ^.^ him. 
:3 Cotus! uWu Exit 

Entew ^.^ COWIOWANyUS 

^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^-^ A xDD goodwy ÚwÚ house. uWu The >_> feast >_< smewws weww, >_> but UwU I 
Appear nyot ^.^ wike :3 a :33 guest. 

^.^ We-entew x3 the xDD fiwst ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 

uWu FIWST SEWVANT. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you have, >w< fwiend? 
OwO Whence OwO awe you? >_> Hewe's nyo :33 pwace fow xDD you: pray OwO go to x3 the UwU doow. 
uWu Exit 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I uWu have OwO desewv'd nyo xDD bettew entewtainment 
^w^ In ^.^ being Coriolanus. 

^.^ We-entew second ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 

^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. OwO Whence OwO awe UwU you, UwU siw? x3 Has x3 the powtew :33 his eyes uWu in :33 his 
>_> head :3 that ^.^ he ;;w;; gives entrance to xDD such companions? >_> Pway get xDD you OwO out. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> Away! 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. ;;w;; Away? >_< Get xDD you xDD away. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Now x3 th' awt troublesome. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. ^w^ Awe xDD you UwU so brave? I'll uWu have xDD you ^w^ tawk'd with x3 anyon. 

Entew :3 a thiwd SEWVINGMAN. uWu The xDD fiwst ^.^ meets ^.^ him 

^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. >_> What fellow's :3 this? 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. ^-^ A ;;w;; stwange one >_< as OwO evew UwU I >_> wook'd :3 on. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot get ^.^ him 
x3 out ^.^ o' x3 th' ÚwÚ house. UwU Pwithee caww x3 my >_< mastew to ^.^ him. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. >_> What uWu have xDD you to UwU do UwU hewe, fewwow? >_> Pway xDD you avoid x3 the 
ÚwÚ house. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Let ;;w;; me >_> but uWu stand- UwU I xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ huwt x3 youw ^-^ heawth. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. >_> What OwO awe you? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^-^ A :3 gentweman. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. ^-^ A >w< mawv'wwous poor onye. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_< Twue, UwU so UwU I am. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. >_> Pway UwU you, poor gentweman, OwO take x3 up x3 some othew 
>_> station; hewe's nyo :33 pwace fow OwO you. >_> Pway xDD you xDD avoid. >w< Come. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Follow x3 youw UwU function, OwO go ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ batten on UwU cowd >_< bits. 
[Pushes ^.^ him OwO away from >w< him] 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. What, xDD you xDD wiww ^w^ nyot? UwU Pwithee tell x3 my >_< mastew >_> what :3 a 
;;w;; stwange uWu guest ^.^ he >_> has hewe. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. xDD And UwU I >_< shaww. uWu Exit 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. Whewe ^w^ dweww'st thou? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ;;w;; Undew x3 the ^-^ canyopy. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. ;;w;; Undew x3 the >_> canyopy? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu Ay. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. :3 Whewe's ^-^ that? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. xDD I' x3 th' UwU city of :33 kites ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwows. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. xDD I' x3 th' UwU city of :33 kites ÚwÚ and cwows! 
>_> What >w< an >w< ass >w< it x3 is! UwU Then xDD thou ^w^ dweww'st with ÚwÚ daws xDD too? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :3 Nyo, UwU I serve nyot >w< thy master. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. How, sir! Do xDD you UwU meddwe with x3 my ÚwÚ mastew? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Ay; UwU 'tis >w< an ^-^ honyestew OwO sewvice than to UwU meddwe with >w< thy 
^w^ mistwess. ^.^ Thou xDD pwat'st ÚwÚ and :33 pwat'st; serve with >w< thy >_< twenchew; 
UwU hence! :33 [Beats ^.^ him away] 

Entew xDD AUFIDIUS with x3 the second ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 

AUFIDIUS. Whewe >_> is ÚwÚ this fewwow? 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. Here, siw; ;;w;; I'd uWu have beaten ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a dog, >_> but fow 
distuwbing x3 the wowds x3 within. 
AUFIDIUS. OwO Whence UwU com'st thou? >_> What wouldst thou? x3 Thy :3 nyame? 
Why ;;w;; speak'st ^w^ nyot? ÚwÚ Speak, man. x3 What's >w< thy :3 nyame? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ÚwÚ [Unmuffwing] If, ^-^ Tuwwus, 
ÚwÚ Nyot yet xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st uWu me, x3 and, ^-^ seeing uWu me, dost nyot 
^w^ Think ;;w;; me fow x3 the x3 man UwU I am, ;;w;; nyecessity 
:33 Commands ;;w;; me xDD nyame :3 mysewf. 
AUFIDIUS. >_> What >_> is >w< thy :3 nyame? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^-^ A xDD nyame x3 unmusicaw to x3 the ÚwÚ Vowscians' ;;w;; eaws, 
xDD And UwU hawsh uWu in >_> sound to ÚwÚ thinye. 
AUFIDIUS. Say, UwU what's >w< thy :3 nyame? 
^.^ Thou >_> has :3 a gwim ^-^ appeawance, ÚwÚ and >w< thy OwO face 
:33 Beaws :3 a ÚwÚ command in't; ^w^ though >w< thy tackle's xDD town, 
^.^ Thou xDD show'st :3 a x3 nyobwe vessel. x3 What's >w< thy :3 nyame? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Pwepawe >w< thy ^w^ bwow to frown- ^w^ knyow'st xDD thou ;;w;; me :33 yet? 
AUFIDIUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee not. x3 Thy :3 nyame? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. OwO My xDD nyame >_> is :3 Caius ^w^ Mawcius, who hath donye 
;;w;; To uWu thee ;;w;; pawticuwawwy, ÚwÚ and to aww x3 the ^w^ Vowsces, 
UwU Gweat ÚwÚ huwt ÚwÚ and mischief; thereto >_> witnyess OwO may 
OwO My >_< suwnyame, Coriolanus. uWu The >w< painfuw sewvice, 
uWu The extweme ÚwÚ dangews, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ dwops of :3 bwood 
;;w;; Shed fow x3 my thankwess country, OwO awe uWu wequited 
OwO But with :3 that :33 suwnyame- :3 a ÚwÚ good ^w^ memowy 
xDD And >_> witnyess of x3 the malice ÚwÚ and >_< dispweasuwe 
>_< Which xDD thou shouwdst UwU beaw x3 me. Onwy :3 that xDD nyame remains; 
uWu The OwO cwuewty ÚwÚ and :3 envy of x3 the >_> peopwe, 
Permitted ^.^ by UwU ouw ÚwÚ dastawd ^.^ nyobwes, who 
:3 Have aww fowsook uWu me, hath x3 devouw'd x3 the ^-^ west, 
^-^ An ^w^ suffew'd ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 th' uWu voice of xDD swaves to be 
^w^ Whoop'd x3 out of xDD Wome. Now ÚwÚ this extremity 
>_< Hath ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me to >w< thy heawth; nyot x3 out of hope, 
^-^ Mistake ;;w;; me >_> nyot, to :3 save x3 my :33 wife; fow >_> if 
UwU I xDD had feaw'd UwU death, of aww x3 the ;;w;; men :33 i' x3 th' wowwd 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have >_> 'voided ÚwÚ thee; >_> but uWu in mere xDD spite, 
;;w;; To be full ^.^ quit of UwU those x3 my x3 banyishews, 
;;w;; Stand UwU I >w< befowe uWu thee hewe. UwU Then >_> if xDD thou x3 hast 
^-^ A >_< heawt of >w< wweak uWu in ÚwÚ thee, :3 that wiwt xDD wevenge 
OwO Thinye UwU own xDD pawticuwaw >_< wwongs ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ stop UwU those >_> maims 
Of ^-^ shame :3 seen ^w^ thwough >w< thy country, ^w^ speed uWu thee ^w^ stwaight 
xDD And >_< make x3 my misery serve >w< thy x3 tuwn. ^w^ So use >w< it 
:33 That x3 my UwU wevengefuw >_< sewvices OwO may ^-^ pwuv 
;;w;; As benyefits to ÚwÚ thee; fow UwU I xDD wiww >w< fight 
^w^ Against x3 my ;;w;; cank'wed countwy with x3 the UwU spween 
Of aww x3 the :33 undew :33 fiends. OwO But >_> if UwU so be 
^.^ Thou ^w^ daw'st nyot uWu this, ÚwÚ and :3 that to ^-^ pwuv ^.^ mowe fowtunyes 
Th'art :3 tiw'd, >w< then, uWu in :3 a word, UwU I awso ^w^ am 
Wongew to ^w^ wive UwU most OwO weawy, ÚwÚ and xDD pwesent 
OwO My ^w^ thwoat to uWu thee ÚwÚ and to >w< thy UwU ancient malice; 
>_< Which nyot to :3 cut ^.^ wouwd x3 show uWu thee >_> but :3 a x3 foow, 
Since UwU I uWu have OwO evew fowwowed uWu thee with hate, 
Drawn UwU tuns of :3 bwood x3 out of >w< thy >_> countwy's UwU bweast, 
xDD And ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ wive >_> but to >w< thy UwU shame, ^w^ unwess 
^.^ It be to UwU do uWu thee service. 
AUFIDIUS. x3 O ^w^ Mawcius, ^.^ Mawcius! 
x3 Each ;;w;; wowd xDD thou x3 hast ^-^ spoke hath weeded from x3 my >_< heawt 
^-^ A ^.^ woot of UwU ancient envy. ;;w;; If Jupiter 
Should from :33 yond ;;w;; cwoud speak divine :3 things, 
xDD And >_> say ''Tis OwO twue,' ;;w;; I'd nyot ^-^ bewieve them ^.^ mowe 
Than ÚwÚ thee, aww x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ Mawcius. Let ;;w;; me twinye 
Mine :3 awms about :3 that ;;w;; body, :3 whewe OwO against 
OwO My ^-^ gwainyed uWu ash >w< an :3 hundwed times hath broke 
xDD And scarr'd x3 the ;;w;; moon with splinters; OwO hewe UwU I cwip 
uWu The ^-^ anviw of x3 my uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and UwU do :3 contest 
;;w;; As hotly ÚwÚ and >_< as ;;w;; nyobwy with >w< thy wuv 
;;w;; As OwO evew uWu in :3 ambitious ÚwÚ stwength UwU I uWu did 
Contend OwO against >w< thy ;;w;; vawouw. xDD Knyow xDD thou ÚwÚ fiwst, 
UwU I :3 wov'd x3 the >_< maid UwU I ^w^ mawwied; >_< nyevew x3 man 
Sigh'd twuew breath; >_> but :3 that UwU I >_> see uWu thee UwU hewe, 
^.^ Thou x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ thing, ^.^ mowe :33 dances x3 my wapt >_< heawt 
Than when UwU I xDD fiwst x3 my >w< wedded mistwess saw 
ÚwÚ Bestwide x3 my OwO thweshowd. Why, xDD thou :33 Maws, UwU I tell x3 the 
We uWu have :3 a powew on xDD foot, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD had OwO puwpose 
Once ^.^ mowe to hew >w< thy uWu tawget from >w< thy >_> bwawn, 
:33 Ow wose >_< minye awm xDD fow't. ^.^ Thou x3 hast xDD beat ;;w;; me x3 out 
Twewve sevewaw xDD times, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have xDD nyightwy xDD since 
Dreamt of encounters 'twixt >w< thysewf ÚwÚ and me- 
We uWu have :33 been down togethew uWu in x3 my sweep, 
Unbuckling ^.^ hewms, UwU fisting >_< each ;;w;; othew's throat- 
xDD And >_< wak'd half >_< dead with OwO nyothing. Wowthy ^w^ Mawcius, 
xDD Had ^.^ we nyo othew ^-^ quawwew >_> ewse to ÚwÚ Wome >_> but :3 that 
^.^ Thou awt thence banish'd, ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd muster aww 
Fwom >_< twewve to seventy, x3 and, OwO pouwing >w< waw 
^.^ Into x3 the bowels of uWu ungwatefuw ^w^ Wome, 
Wike :3 a bold flood o'ewbeat. >_< O, come, OwO go x3 in, 
xDD And OwO take UwU ouw xDD fwiendwy :3 senyatows ^.^ by x3 th' ^.^ hands, 
Who nyow OwO awe UwU hewe, :3 taking uWu theiw >w< weaves of ;;w;; me 
Who ^w^ am pwepaw'd OwO against x3 youw ^-^ tewwitowies, 
;;w;; Though nyot fow ÚwÚ Wome itself. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> You ;;w;; bwess uWu me, ^-^ gods! 
AUFIDIUS. >_< Thewefowe, :3 most. ^w^ absowute ^w^ siw, >_> if xDD thou wiwt uWu have 
uWu The weading of ^.^ thinye UwU own >_> wevenges, OwO take 
xDD Th' one half of x3 my xDD commission, ÚwÚ and uWu set ;;w;; down- 
;;w;; As best xDD thou awt experienc'd, xDD since xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st 
x3 Thy >_> countwy's ÚwÚ stwength ÚwÚ and UwU weaknyess- ^.^ thinye UwU own >w< ways, 
Whethew to :3 knyock OwO against x3 the :3 gates of ^w^ Wome, 
:33 Ow wudewy x3 visit them uWu in parts wemote 
;;w;; To :33 fwight them ere >_< destwoy. OwO But come UwU in; 
Let ;;w;; me ÚwÚ commend uWu thee xDD fiwst to UwU those :3 that UwU shaww 
x3 Say >w< yea to >w< thy :33 desiwes. ^-^ A thousand ;;w;; wewcomes! 
xDD And ^.^ mowe :3 a :33 fwiend than ;;w;; e'ew >w< an enemy; 
Yet, ^w^ Mawcius, :3 that UwU was :33 much. uWu Youw xDD hand; UwU most welcome! 
Exeunt ^.^ COWIOWANyUS ÚwÚ and xDD AUFIDIUS 

uWu The >w< two :33 SEWVINGMEN come forward 

uWu FIWST SEWVANT. >_> Hewe's :3 a ;;w;; stwange awtewation! 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. ^-^ By x3 my uWu hand, UwU I xDD had xDD thought to uWu have stwucken ^.^ him with 
:3 a ;;w;; cudgew; ÚwÚ and yet x3 my ^-^ mind uWu gave ;;w;; me :33 his x3 cwothes UwU made :3 a UwU fawse wepowt 
of ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. >_> What >w< an awm ^.^ he x3 has! >w< He >_> tuwn'd ;;w;; me about with :33 his 
finger ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 thumb, >_< as one ^.^ wouwd uWu set x3 up :3 a >_> top. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. Nyay, UwU I UwU knyew ^.^ by :33 his OwO face :3 that there UwU was ^-^ something uWu in 
him; ^.^ he :33 had, ^w^ siw, :3 a uWu kind of >w< face, ^w^ methought- UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell >w< how to 
term :3 it. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. >w< He xDD had >_> so, ^w^ wooking >_< as >w< it were- Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe uWu hang'd, 
>_> but UwU I xDD thought there UwU was ^.^ mowe uWu in ^.^ him than UwU I couwd UwU think. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. ^w^ So uWu did I, I'll be swown. >w< He >_> is simply x3 the ^.^ wawest 
x3 man :33 i' x3 th' wowwd. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. UwU I think ^.^ he is; >_> but :3 a :33 gweatew soldier than ^.^ he xDD you uWu wot 
:3 on. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. UwU Who, x3 my ÚwÚ mastew? 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. Nyay, x3 it's nyo ;;w;; mattew fow x3 that. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. Wowth six on ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. Nyay, nyot UwU so UwU nyeithew; >_> but UwU I OwO take ^.^ him to be x3 the 
:33 gweatew OwO sowdiew. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. Faith, wook UwU you, one ;;w;; cannyot tell >w< how to >_> say :33 that; 
fow x3 the x3 defence of :3 a :33 town UwU ouw general >_> is excellent. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. Ay, ÚwÚ and fow >w< an OwO assauwt UwU too. 

^.^ We-entew x3 the thiwd ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 

^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. x3 O swaves, UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you ^.^ nyews- news, xDD you ^w^ wascaws! 
ÚwÚ BOTH. What, x3 what, UwU what? :3 Wet's partake. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 a Woman, of aww ÚwÚ nyations; 
UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief be :3 a condemn'd man. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. Whewefowe? OwO whewefowe? 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. Why, hewe's ^.^ he :3 that UwU was UwU wont to thwack UwU ouw genyewaw- 
:3 Caius ÚwÚ Mawcius. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. Why UwU do xDD you >_> say >w< 'thwack UwU ouw genyewaw'? 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. UwU I UwU do nyot >_> say >w< 'thwack UwU ouw xDD genyewaw,' >_> but ^.^ he UwU was awways 
ÚwÚ good enough fow ^.^ him. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. ^.^ Come, ^.^ we OwO awe ^w^ fewwows ÚwÚ and fwiends. >w< He UwU was OwO evew ^w^ too 
x3 hawd fow :3 him, UwU I uWu have heard ^.^ him >_> say UwU so himself. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. >w< He UwU was ^w^ too x3 hawd fow ^.^ him ÚwÚ diwectwy, to >_> say x3 the troth 
^-^ on't; >w< befowe ;;w;; Cowiowi ^.^ he xDD scotch'd ^.^ him ÚwÚ and >_< nyotch'd ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a 
uWu cawbonyado. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. ^-^ An ^.^ he xDD had :33 been >_< cannyibawwy ^w^ given, ^.^ he ^w^ might uWu have 
>_< bwoiw'd ÚwÚ and eaten ^.^ him UwU too. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. OwO But ^.^ mowe of >w< thy ÚwÚ nyews! 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. Why, ^.^ he >_> is UwU so UwU made on OwO hewe within >_< as >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe >_< son 
ÚwÚ and heir to x3 Maws; uWu set uWu at >w< uppew >w< end ^.^ o' x3 th' table; nyo ;;w;; question 
asked ^.^ him ^.^ by xDD any of x3 the :3 senyatows >_> but ;;w;; they stand ;;w;; bawd >w< befowe ^.^ him. 
Our general >_< himsewf x3 makes :3 a mistwess of :3 him, ^.^ sanctifies >_< himsewf 
with's uWu hand, ÚwÚ and tuwns x3 up x3 the ^-^ white ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ eye to :33 his discourse. 
OwO But x3 the :3 bottom of x3 the nyews ;;w;; is, UwU ouw general >_> is :3 cut :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; middwe 
ÚwÚ and >_> but one half of >_> what ^.^ he UwU was ^.^ yestewday, fow x3 the othew >_> has half 
^.^ by x3 the entreaty ÚwÚ and gwant of x3 the whole ;;w;; tabwe. ^-^ He'ww x3 go, ^.^ he says, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; soww x3 the powtew of ÚwÚ Wome :3 gates ^.^ by x3 th' ears; ^.^ he xDD wiww ÚwÚ mow aww 
down >w< befowe :3 him, ÚwÚ and OwO weave :33 his uWu passage UwU poww'd. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. xDD And uWu he's >_< as ^.^ wike to do't >_< as xDD any x3 man UwU I ^.^ can imaginye. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. ^w^ Do't! >w< He xDD wiww OwO do't; fow wook UwU you, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he >_> has >_< as 
UwU many ^w^ fwiends >_< as enyemies; which OwO fwiends, ^w^ siw, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, x3 duwst 
nyot- wook UwU you, >_< siw- x3 show ^.^ themsewves, >_< as ^.^ we term :33 it, :33 his OwO fwiends, 
whiwst uWu he's uWu in diwectitude. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. Directitude? x3 What's ^-^ that? 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. OwO But when ;;w;; they UwU shaww see, ^w^ siw, :33 his uWu cwest x3 up again ÚwÚ and 
x3 the x3 man uWu in bwood, ;;w;; they xDD wiww x3 out of uWu theiw burrows, ^.^ wike :3 conyies 
ÚwÚ aftew rain, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wevew >w< an with ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. OwO But when xDD goes ÚwÚ this forward? 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. >_< To-mowwow, uWu to-day, presently. >_> You UwU shaww uWu have x3 the 
drum >w< stwuck x3 up ÚwÚ this afternoon; UwU 'tis >_< as >w< it :3 wewe parcel of uWu theiw 
OwO feast, ÚwÚ and to be executed ere ;;w;; they xDD wipe uWu theiw x3 wips. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. Why, xDD then ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have :3 a stirring wowwd ;;w;; again. 
This uWu peace >_> is >_< nyothing >_> but to ^w^ wust uWu iwon, incwease tailors, ÚwÚ and 
breed bawwad-makews. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. Let ;;w;; me uWu have waw, >_> say x3 I; >w< it exceeds uWu peace >_< as uWu faw >_< as 
day does ^w^ nyight; x3 it's spwitewy, :3 waking, audible, ÚwÚ and full of ^w^ vent. 
:3 Peace >_> is :3 a xDD vewy apopwexy, wethawgy; mull'd, deaf, ;;w;; sweepy, 
x3 insensibwe; :3 a ;;w;; gettew of ^.^ mowe ^.^ bastawd x3 chiwdwen than waw's :3 a 
>w< destwoyew of ^.^ men. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. 'Tis so; ÚwÚ and >_< as >w< waw uWu in x3 some ;;w;; sowt OwO may be uWu said to be 
:3 a ;;w;; wavishew, UwU so >w< it ;;w;; cannyot be >w< denyied >_> but uWu peace >_> is :3 a great >w< makew of 
cuckowds. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. Ay, ÚwÚ and >w< it x3 makes ;;w;; men ^-^ hate one anyothew. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. :33 Weason: uWu because ;;w;; they xDD then less >_< nyeed one anyothew. uWu The 
UwU waws fow x3 my money. UwU I UwU hope to >_> see Romans >_< as cheap >_< as Vowscians. 
^-^ They OwO awe >_< wising, ;;w;; they OwO awe rising. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. ÚwÚ In, x3 in, x3 in, :3 in! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew x3 the >w< two Twibunyes, x3 SICINyIUS ÚwÚ and BRUTUS 

:3 SICINyIUS. We hear nyot of :3 him, :3 nyeithew >_< nyeed ^.^ we feaw ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ His remedies OwO awe tame. uWu The xDD pwesent uWu peace 
xDD And quietnyess of x3 the >_> peopwe, which >w< befowe 
^.^ Wewe uWu in >w< wiwd uWu huwwy, OwO hewe UwU do >_< make :33 his ^w^ fwiends 
^w^ Bwush :3 that x3 the wowwd xDD goes well; who rather :33 had, 
;;w;; Though ;;w;; they x3 themsewves uWu did suffew by't, behowd 
^-^ Dissentious xDD nyumbews pest'wing ^w^ stweets than >_> see 
Our x3 twadesmen >_< singing uWu in uWu theiw UwU shops, ÚwÚ and x3 going 
About uWu theiw x3 functions friendly. 

Entew >_< MENyENyIUS 

^w^ BWUTUS. We :33 stood uWu to't uWu in ÚwÚ good uWu time. Is ÚwÚ this Menyenyius? 
:3 SICINyIUS. 'Tis xDD he, UwU 'tis he. >_< O, ^.^ he >_> is grown UwU most uWu kind 
Of UwU wate. >w< Haiw, sir! 
MENENIUS. Hail to xDD you UwU both! 
:3 SICINyIUS. uWu Youw Cowiowanyus >_> is nyot much ;;w;; miss'd 
OwO But with :33 his fwiends. uWu The >_> commonweawth xDD doth x3 stand, 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ wouwd UwU do, :3 wewe ^.^ he ^.^ mowe angry uWu at :3 it. 
MENENIUS. ^-^ Aww's weww, ÚwÚ and ^w^ might uWu have :33 been much xDD bettew 
>w< He couwd uWu have tempowiz'd. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Whewe >_> is xDD he, hear you? 
MENENIUS. Nyay, UwU I hear uWu nyothing; :33 his mothew ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< wife 
>w< Heaw >_< nyothing from ^.^ him. 

Entew >w< thwee ow fouw :3 citizens 

>_> CITIZENS. uWu The gods pwesewve xDD you UwU both! 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^-^ God-den, UwU ouw ^.^ nyeighbouws. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :33 God-den to xDD you all, god-den to xDD you >w< an. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Ourselves, UwU ouw ^-^ wives, ÚwÚ and chiwdwen, on UwU ouw knees 
^w^ Awe bound to pray fow xDD you xDD both. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Wive ÚwÚ and xDD thwive! 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Faweweww, uWu kind >w< nyeighbouws; ^.^ we >w< wish'd Cowiowanyus 
xDD Had :3 wov'd xDD you >_< as ^.^ we ^.^ did. 
>_> CITIZENS. Now x3 the gods >_< keep you! 
x3 BOTH uWu TWIBUNyES. UwU Faweweww, farewell. Exeunt :3 citizens 
:3 SICINyIUS. This >_> is :3 a uWu happiew ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe >_> comewy time 
Than when these ^w^ fewwows wan about x3 the ^w^ stweets 
Crying uWu confusion. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Caius Marcius UwU was 
^-^ A ÚwÚ wowthy officer :33 i' x3 the waw, >_> but ÚwÚ insowent, 
O'ercome with pride, :3 ambitious x3 past aww uWu thinking, 
^-^ Sewf-woving- 
:3 SICINyIUS. xDD And ^.^ affecting one sole throne, 
Without OwO assistance. 
MENENIUS. UwU I think nyot :3 so. 
:3 SICINyIUS. We >_> shouwd ^.^ by uWu this, to aww UwU ouw wamentation, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he xDD had >_> gonye fowth consul, >_> found >w< it :3 so. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu The gods uWu have weww prevented :33 it, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Wome 
x3 Sits >_< safe ÚwÚ and still ^-^ without ^.^ him. 

Entew >w< an OwO AEDIWE 

UwU AEDIWE. Wowthy :33 twibunyes, 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a :33 swave, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we uWu have put uWu in pwison, 
^-^ Wepowts x3 the ;;w;; Vowsces with sevewaw ÚwÚ powews 
^w^ Awe ^w^ ent'wed uWu in x3 the Roman ^-^ tewwitowies, 
xDD And with x3 the xDD deepest malice of x3 the >w< waw 
;;w;; Destwoy >_> what wies >w< befowe ^.^ 'em. 
MENENIUS. 'Tis >_< Aufidius, 
UwU Who, hearing of UwU ouw Marcius' banishment, 
Thrusts fowth :33 his >w< howns again x3 into x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
>_< Which :3 wewe ^-^ insheww'd when Marcius :33 stood fow ^w^ Wome, 
xDD And x3 duwst nyot >_> once xDD peep OwO out. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^.^ Come, >_> what tawk xDD you of :33 Mawcius? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Go >_> see ÚwÚ this :3 wumouwew OwO whipp'd. ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be 
uWu The ;;w;; Vowsces dawe bweak with >_> us. 
MENENIUS. UwU Cannyot OwO be! 
We uWu have xDD wecowd :3 that xDD vewy weww >w< it can; 
xDD And >w< thwee xDD exampwes of x3 the ^.^ wike hath :33 been 
OwO Within x3 my age. OwO But reason with x3 the fewwow 
^.^ Befowe xDD you punyish :3 him, :3 whewe ^.^ he heard uWu this, 
Lest xDD you UwU shaww chance to whip x3 youw information 
xDD And xDD beat x3 the :3 messengew who UwU bids UwU bewawe 
Of >_> what >_> is to be ÚwÚ dweaded. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Teww nyot x3 me. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this ;;w;; cannyot >w< be. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> Possibwe. 

Entew ^-^ A MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The nyobwes uWu in great >_> eawnyestnyess OwO awe x3 going 
All to x3 the :33 Senyate House; x3 some nyews >_> is come 
:33 That tuwns uWu theiw :3 countenyances. 
:3 SICINyIUS. 'Tis ÚwÚ this slave- 
Go whip ^.^ him fore x3 the people's :33 eyes- :33 his ÚwÚ waising, 
Nyothing >_> but :33 his report. 
x3 MESSENGEW. Yes, ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ siw, 
uWu The >_< swave's wepowt >_> is x3 seconded, ÚwÚ and >_> mowe, 
uWu Mowe x3 feawfuw, >_> is :33 dewivew'd. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> What ^.^ mowe :3 feawfuw? 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^.^ It >_> is ^-^ spoke freely x3 out of UwU many x3 mouths- 
How probable UwU I UwU do nyot UwU knyow- :3 that ^w^ Mawcius, 
Join'd with >_< Aufidius, weads :3 a powew uWu 'gainst ^w^ Wome, 
xDD And x3 vows xDD wevenge >_< as ÚwÚ spacious >_< as ^-^ between 
uWu The ^.^ young'st ÚwÚ and :3 owdest >_> thing. 
:3 SICINyIUS. This >_> is UwU most ;;w;; wikewy! 
^w^ BWUTUS. Wais'd >w< onwy :3 that x3 the weaker ;;w;; sowt OwO may ÚwÚ wish 
^-^ Good Marcius ^.^ home ;;w;; again. 
:3 SICINyIUS. uWu The xDD vewy twick on :3 't. 
MENENIUS. This >_> is ÚwÚ unwikewy. 
>w< He ÚwÚ and Aufidius ^.^ can nyo ^.^ mowe OwO atonye 
Than viowent'st >w< contwawiety. 

Entew :3 a second MESSENGEW 

^w^ SECOND x3 MESSENGEW. >_> You OwO awe sent fow to x3 the Senyate. 
^-^ A x3 feawfuw xDD awmy, x3 wed ^.^ by :3 Caius Marcius 
uWu Associated with >_< Aufidius, rages 
>_> Upon UwU ouw ^-^ tewwitowies, ÚwÚ and uWu have xDD awweady 
OwO O'ewbownye uWu theiw :3 way, x3 consum'd with fire ÚwÚ and >_> took 
>_> What uWu way >w< befowe OwO them. 

Entew COMINIUS 

^w^ COMINyIUS. >_< O, xDD you uWu have UwU made ÚwÚ good >_< wowk! 
MENENIUS. >_> What nyews? >_> what nyews? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >_> You uWu have holp to ravish x3 youw UwU own >_> daughtews ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; To :3 mewt x3 the UwU city weads ;;w;; upon x3 youw pates, 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 youw ;;w;; wives UwU dishonyouw'd to x3 youw :33 nyoses- 
MENENIUS. x3 What's x3 the nyews? x3 What's x3 the nyews? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. uWu Youw ^.^ tempwes burned uWu in uWu theiw ;;w;; cement, ÚwÚ and 
uWu Youw franchises, wheweon xDD you >_> stood, >_< confin'd 
^.^ Into >w< an :33 augew's :3 bowe. 
MENENIUS. >_> Pway now, x3 youw nyews? 
>_> You uWu have UwU made >w< faiw work, UwU I feaw x3 me. ÚwÚ Pway, x3 youw ;;w;; nyews. 
;;w;; If Marcius >_> shouwd be OwO join'd ÚwÚ wi' x3 th' Volscians- 
^w^ COMINyIUS. OwO If! 
>w< He >_> is uWu theiw x3 god; ^.^ he weads them ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ thing 
Made ^.^ by x3 some othew deity than OwO Nyatuwe, 
:33 That >w< shapes x3 man uWu bettew; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him 
^w^ Against >_> us brats with nyo less :3 confidence 
Than >_< boys OwO puwsuing ^-^ summew UwU buttewfwies, 
:33 Ow x3 butchews UwU kiwwing x3 fwies. 
MENENIUS. >_> You uWu have UwU made ÚwÚ good work, 
>_> You ÚwÚ and x3 youw OwO apwon ÚwÚ men; xDD you :3 that :33 stood UwU so much 
>_> Upon x3 the uWu voice of occupation ÚwÚ and 
uWu The UwU bweath of garlic-eaters! 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ^-^ He'ww ;;w;; shake 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ Wome about x3 youw ears. 
MENENIUS. ;;w;; As Hercules 
Did ;;w;; shake down mellow fwuit. >_> You uWu have UwU made >w< faiw >_< wowk! 
^w^ BWUTUS. OwO But >_> is ÚwÚ this ^-^ twue, UwU siw? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Ay; ÚwÚ and you'ww wook pawe 
^.^ Befowe xDD you find >w< it :3 othew. All x3 the regions 
Do smilingly >_> wevowt, ÚwÚ and who OwO wesists 
^w^ Awe mock'd fow uWu vawiant ignorance, 
xDD And xDD pewish ^w^ constant ;;w;; foows. Who :3 is't ^.^ can uWu bwame him? 
uWu Youw >_< enyemies ÚwÚ and :33 his find ^-^ something uWu in ^.^ him. 
MENENIUS. We OwO awe aww ÚwÚ undonye ^w^ unwess 
uWu The x3 nyobwe x3 man uWu have mercy. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Who UwU shaww ^w^ ask :33 it? 
uWu The tribunes ;;w;; cannyot do't fow OwO shame; x3 the OwO peopwe 
Deserve xDD such pity of ^.^ him >_< as x3 the OwO wowf 
ÚwÚ Does of x3 the >w< shephewds; fow :33 his best OwO fwiends, >_> if ;;w;; they 
Should >_> say :3 'Be ÚwÚ good to >w< Wome'- ;;w;; they :3 chawg'd ^.^ him even 
;;w;; As UwU those >_> shouwd UwU do :3 that xDD had OwO desewv'd :33 his hate, 
xDD And thewein ^w^ show'd fike enemies. 
MENENIUS. 'Tis true; 
;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 wewe ^.^ putting to x3 my ;;w;; house x3 the bwand 
:33 That >_> shouwd ^-^ consume :33 it, UwU I uWu have nyot x3 the OwO face 
;;w;; To >_> say ^w^ 'Beseech UwU you, xDD cease.' >_> You uWu have UwU made >w< faiw ^.^ hands, 
>_> You ÚwÚ and x3 youw :33 cwafts! >_> You uWu have >_< cwafted :33 faiw! 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >_> You uWu have ^.^ bwought 
^-^ A uWu twembwing ;;w;; upon ^w^ Wome, xDD such >_< as UwU was >_< nyevew 
^w^ S' OwO incapabwe of ;;w;; hewp. 
x3 BOTH uWu TWIBUNyES. x3 Say nyot ^.^ we ^.^ bwought :3 it. 
MENENIUS. OwO How! ^-^ Was't uWu we? We :3 wov'd :3 him, but, ^.^ wike x3 beasts 
xDD And >w< cowawdwy ^.^ nyobwes, uWu gave uWu way >w< unto x3 youw cwustews, 
Who uWu did x3 hoot ^.^ him x3 out ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> city. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. OwO But UwU I feaw 
x3 They'ww roar ^.^ him uWu in ;;w;; again. Tullus >_< Aufidius, 
uWu The second xDD nyame of men, UwU obeys :33 his x3 points 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe :33 his officer. xDD Despewation 
Is aww x3 the x3 powicy, >_< stwength, ÚwÚ and ^w^ defence, 
:33 That ÚwÚ Wome ^.^ can >_< make OwO against OwO them. 

Entew :3 a troop of :3 citizens 

MENENIUS. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the ÚwÚ cwustews. 
xDD And >_> is Aufidius with him? >_> You OwO awe ;;w;; they 
:33 That UwU made x3 the ^w^ aiw ^.^ unwhowesome when xDD you ;;w;; cast 
uWu Youw >w< stinking ^-^ gweasy caps uWu in :33 hooting uWu at 
Coriolanus' :33 exiwe. Now uWu he's uWu coming, 
xDD And nyot :3 a >_< haiw ;;w;; upon :3 a ^w^ sowdiew's >_> head 
>_< Which xDD wiww nyot ^-^ pwuv :3 a >w< whip; >_< as UwU many ^-^ coxcombs 
;;w;; As xDD you OwO thwew caps x3 up xDD wiww ^.^ he tumble ;;w;; down, 
xDD And x3 pay xDD you fow x3 youw ^-^ voices. 'Tis nyo mattew; 
;;w;; If ^.^ he couwd buwn >_> us aww x3 into one coaw 
We uWu have OwO desewv'd :3 it. 
OwO PWEBEIANS. Faith, ^.^ we hear x3 feawfuw ;;w;; nyews. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. For >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, 
x3 When UwU I uWu said banyish :3 him, UwU I uWu said uWu 'twas >_> pity. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. xDD And UwU so uWu did ^.^ I. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. xDD And UwU so uWu did x3 I; x3 and, to >_> say x3 the truth, UwU so uWu did xDD vewy 
UwU many of >_> us. :33 That ^.^ we ^-^ did, ^.^ we uWu did fow x3 the OwO best; ÚwÚ and ^w^ though ^.^ we 
^w^ wiwwingwy :3 consented to :33 his banishment, yet >w< it UwU was OwO against UwU ouw 
:33 wiww. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. Y'awe xDD goodwy :3 things, xDD you ^.^ voices! 
MENENIUS. >_> You uWu have UwU made 
^-^ Good work, xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 youw cwy! :33 Shaww's to x3 the xDD Capitow? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >_< O, :33 ay, >_> what else? 
Exeunt COMINIUS ÚwÚ and >_< MENyENyIUS 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^w^ Go, mastews, get xDD you be nyot ÚwÚ dismay'd; 
;;w;; These OwO awe :3 a x3 side :3 that ^.^ wouwd be uWu gwad to uWu have 
This true which ;;w;; they UwU so xDD seem to ;;w;; feaw. Go ^.^ home, 
xDD And x3 show nyo xDD sign of ;;w;; feaw. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu The gods be ÚwÚ good to ÚwÚ us! ^.^ Come, mastews, >_> wet's >_> home. UwU I 
OwO evew uWu said ^.^ we :3 wewe :33 i' x3 th' wrong when ^.^ we banyish'd ^.^ him. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^w^ So uWu did ^.^ we all. OwO But come, >_> wet's >_> home. 
Exeunt :3 citizens 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this ;;w;; nyews. 
:3 SICINyIUS. x3 Nyow ^.^ I. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Wet's to x3 the Capitol. Wouwd half x3 my weawth 
Wouwd UwU buy ÚwÚ this fow :3 a lie! 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> Pway >_> wet's ÚwÚ go. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
^-^ A ÚwÚ camp uWu at :3 a showt ^w^ distance from ÚwÚ Wome 

Entew xDD AUFIDIUS with :33 his x3 WIEUTENyANT 

AUFIDIUS. Do ;;w;; they still fwy to x3 th' uWu Woman? 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow >_> what :3 witchcwaft's uWu in :3 him, >_> but 
uWu Youw ^-^ sowdiews use ^.^ him >_< as x3 the xDD gwace fore meat, 
^-^ Theiw tawk uWu at ^-^ tabwe, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw thanks uWu at ^w^ end; 
xDD And xDD you OwO awe dark'ned uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD action, ^w^ siw, 
Even ^.^ by x3 youw own. 
AUFIDIUS. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO hewp >w< it now, 
OwO Unwess ^.^ by UwU using means UwU I :3 wame x3 the :33 foot 
Of UwU ouw design. >w< He bears >_< himsewf ^.^ mowe ;;w;; pwoudwiew, 
Even to x3 my pewson, than UwU I xDD thought ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd 
x3 When xDD fiwst UwU I uWu did >_< embwace him; yet :33 his ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
^w^ In ^w^ that's nyo OwO changewing, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must UwU excuse 
>_> What ;;w;; cannyot be ^w^ amended. 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. ÚwÚ Yet UwU I wish, >_< siw- 
UwU I mean, fow x3 youw particular- xDD you xDD had nyot 
Join'd uWu in OwO commission with :3 him, >_> but xDD eithew 
xDD Had :3 bownye x3 the uWu action of yourself, ow >_> ewse 
;;w;; To ^.^ him xDD had left >w< it x3 sowewy. 
AUFIDIUS. UwU I understand uWu thee well; ÚwÚ and be xDD thou x3 suwe, 
x3 When ^.^ he UwU shaww come to :33 his ^w^ account, ^.^ he xDD knyows nyot 
>_> What UwU I ^.^ can urge OwO against ^.^ him. Awthough >w< it seems, 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ he thinks, ÚwÚ and >_> is nyo less apparent 
;;w;; To x3 th' uWu vuwgaw >_< eye, :3 that ^.^ he bears aww ^.^ things ^.^ faiwwy 
xDD And >_< shows ÚwÚ good x3 husbandwy fow x3 the ;;w;; Vowscian state, 
^-^ Fights dwagon-wike, ÚwÚ and does ;;w;; achieve >_< as >w< soon 
;;w;; As dwaw :33 his ^-^ swowd; yet ^.^ he hath left ÚwÚ undonye 
:33 That which UwU shaww bweak :33 his x3 nyeck ow >_< hazawd >_< minye 
:3 Whenye'ew ^.^ we come to UwU ouw OwO account. 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. UwU Siw, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, think xDD you he'ww carry >w< Wome? 
AUFIDIUS. All pwaces yield to ^.^ him ere ^.^ he >_> sits ;;w;; down, 
xDD And x3 the >_> nyobiwity of ÚwÚ Wome OwO awe ^w^ his; 
uWu The :3 senyatows ÚwÚ and :33 patwicians wuv ^.^ him UwU too. 
uWu The tribunes OwO awe nyo xDD sowdiews, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw OwO peopwe 
Will be >_< as >_< wash uWu in x3 the repeal >_< as >_> hasty 
;;w;; To expew ^.^ him ^w^ thence. UwU I think he'ww be to ÚwÚ Wome 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the OwO ospwey to x3 the ;;w;; fish, who UwU takes >w< it 
^-^ By UwU suvweignty of :33 nyatuwe. First ^.^ he UwU was 
^-^ A x3 nyobwe xDD sewvant to ÚwÚ them, >_> but ^.^ he couwd nyot 
xDD Cawwy :33 his honyouws xDD even. Whethew uWu 'twas pride, 
>_< Which x3 out of x3 daiwy :3 fowtunye OwO evew ^w^ taints 
uWu The ^w^ happy xDD man; >w< whethew OwO defect of ^.^ judgment, 
;;w;; To fail uWu in x3 the OwO disposing of UwU those chances 
>_< Which ^.^ he UwU was ;;w;; wowd OwO of; ow >w< whethew nyatuwe, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to be othew than one ÚwÚ thing, nyot >w< moving 
Fwom x3 th' casque to x3 th' :3 cushion, >_> but uWu commanding uWu peace 
Even with x3 the same austerity ÚwÚ and :3 gawb 
;;w;; As ^.^ he contwoww'd x3 the UwU waw; >_> but one of :33 these- 
;;w;; As ^.^ he hath spices of them ;;w;; aww- nyot all, 
For UwU I dawe UwU so uWu faw fwee uWu him- UwU made ^.^ him feaw'd, 
^w^ So hated, ÚwÚ and UwU so xDD banyish'd. OwO But ^.^ he >_> has :3 a merit 
;;w;; To >_< choke >w< it uWu in x3 the UwU utt'wance. ^w^ So UwU ouw uWu viwtues 
Lie uWu in x3 th' ^-^ intewpwetation of x3 the time; 
xDD And x3 powew, >w< unto itsewf UwU most uWu commendabwe, 
>_< Hath nyot :3 a tomb UwU so ^w^ evident >_< as :3 a >w< chaiw 
;;w;; T' uWu extow >_> what >w< it hath ^-^ donye. 
x3 Onye fire drives x3 out one x3 fiwe; one xDD nyaiw, one nail; 
^-^ Wights ^.^ by wights ÚwÚ fawtew, strengths ^.^ by strengths UwU do >_< faiw. 
^.^ Come, >_> wet's xDD away. UwU When, Caius, ÚwÚ Wome >_> is xDD thinye, 
^.^ Thou awt >_> poow'st of aww; xDD then x3 showtwy awt xDD thou ^w^ minye. 
Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew MENENIUS, COMINyIUS, x3 SICINyIUS ÚwÚ and ;;w;; BWUTUS, x3 the >w< two Twibunyes, with ;;w;; othews 

MENENIUS. :3 Nyo, I'll nyot ÚwÚ go. >_> You hear >_> what ^.^ he hath uWu said 
>_< Which UwU was ÚwÚ sometime :33 his general, who :3 wov'd ^.^ him 
^w^ In :3 a UwU most uWu deaw :33 pawticuwaw. >w< He ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me father; 
OwO But >_> what ^.^ o' ^-^ that? ^w^ Go, xDD you :3 that banyish'd :33 him: 
^-^ A miwe >w< befowe :33 his ^w^ tent faww ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and knyee 
uWu The uWu way x3 into :33 his mercy. Nyay, >_> if ^.^ he ^-^ coy'd 
;;w;; To hear Cominyius :3 speak, I'll >_< keep uWu at >_> home. 
^w^ COMINyIUS. >w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot xDD seem to ^.^ knyow x3 me. 
MENENIUS. Do xDD you UwU heaw? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ÚwÚ Yet one time ^.^ he uWu did caww ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 my nyame. 
UwU I ;;w;; uwg'd UwU ouw ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ acquaintance, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ dwops 
:33 That ^.^ we uWu have bwed together. UwU 'Cowiowanyus' 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot answew >w< to; UwU fowbid aww >w< nyames; 
>w< He UwU was :3 a uWu kind of uWu nyothing, ^w^ titwewess, 
Tiww ^.^ he xDD had ÚwÚ fowg'd >_< himsewf :3 a xDD nyame :33 i' x3 th' fire 
Of ^.^ buwnying xDD Wome. 
MENENIUS. Why, so! >_> You uWu have UwU made ÚwÚ good >w< wowk. 
^-^ A :33 paiw of tribunes :3 that uWu have wrack'd fow ÚwÚ Wome 
;;w;; To >_< make ÚwÚ coaws xDD cheap- :3 a x3 nyobwe >w< memowy! 
^w^ COMINyIUS. UwU I >_> minded ^.^ him >w< how royal uWu 'twas to UwU pawdon 
x3 When >w< it UwU was less uWu expected; ^.^ he uWu wepwied, 
^.^ It UwU was :3 a OwO bawe x3 petition of :3 a >w< state 
;;w;; To one ÚwÚ whom ;;w;; they xDD had UwU punyish'd. 
MENENIUS. Very well. 
Could ^.^ he >_> say wess? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. UwU I >_< offew'd to OwO awaken :33 his regard 
For's >_> pwivate >_< fwiends; :33 his answew to ;;w;; me UwU was, 
>w< He couwd nyot xDD stay to pick them uWu in :3 a ^.^ piwe 
Of ^-^ nyoisome :3 musty >_> chaff. >w< He uWu said uWu 'twas >_> fowwy, 
For one poor ^-^ gwain ow >_> two, to OwO weave x3 unbuwnt 
xDD And still to x3 nyose x3 th' OwO offence. 
MENENIUS. For one poor ^-^ gwain ow OwO two! 
UwU I ^w^ am one of x3 those. ÚwÚ His :33 mothew, :3 wife, :33 his child, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >_< bwave fewwow UwU too- ^.^ we OwO awe x3 the >w< gwains: 
>_> You OwO awe x3 the :3 musty ^-^ chaff, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe >_< smewt 
Abuv x3 the x3 moon. We ^w^ must be burnt fow OwO you. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Nyay, pray be UwU patient; >_> if xDD you refuse x3 youw >_> aid 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this UwU so never-needed hewp, yet UwU do nyot 
>w< Upbwaid's with UwU ouw ÚwÚ distwess. OwO But x3 suwe, >_> if xDD you 
Wouwd be x3 youw >_> countwy's pleader, x3 youw ÚwÚ good ;;w;; tongue, 
uWu Mowe than x3 the x3 instant ^.^ awmy ^.^ we ^.^ can ;;w;; make, 
^.^ Might ÚwÚ stop UwU ouw countryman. 
MENENIUS. No; I'll nyot >_> meddwe. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >_> Pway xDD you OwO go to ^.^ him. 
MENENIUS. >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I ^-^ do? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Onwy >_< make uWu twiaw >_> what x3 youw wuv ^.^ can UwU do 
For ^w^ Wome, uWu towawds ÚwÚ Mawcius. 
MENENIUS. xDD Weww, ÚwÚ and >_> say :3 that Marcius 
Return uWu me, >_< as Cominyius >_> is :3 wetuwn'd, 
>w< Unheawd- >_> what ^w^ then? 
OwO But >_< as :3 a >_> discontented fwiend, grief-shot 
With :33 his >_< unkindnyess? Say't be so? 
:3 SICINyIUS. ÚwÚ Yet x3 youw ÚwÚ good xDD wiww 
:3 Must uWu have :3 that thanks from ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ aftew x3 the UwU measuwe 
;;w;; As xDD you :3 intended well. 
MENENIUS. I'll undewtake't; 
UwU I think he'ww hear x3 me. ÚwÚ Yet to ^-^ bite :33 his >_< wip 
xDD And OwO hum uWu at ÚwÚ good Cominyius much :33 unheawts x3 me. 
>w< He UwU was nyot :33 taken well: ^.^ he xDD had nyot din'd; 
uWu The >_> veins unfiww'd, UwU ouw :3 bwood >_> is >_< cowd, ÚwÚ and xDD then 
We >_> pout ;;w;; upon x3 the UwU mownying, OwO awe ^-^ unyapt 
;;w;; To UwU give ow to fowgive; >_> but when ^.^ we uWu have UwU stuff'd 
;;w;; These xDD pipes ÚwÚ and these conveyances of UwU ouw :3 bwood 
With winye ÚwÚ and ;;w;; feeding, ^.^ we uWu have uWu suppwew >w< souws 
Than uWu in UwU ouw pwiest-wike :33 fasts. Therefore I'll ;;w;; watch ^.^ him 
Tiww ^.^ he be ;;w;; dieted to x3 my ÚwÚ wequest, 
xDD And xDD then I'll uWu set ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the xDD vewy woad x3 into :33 his OwO kindnyess 
xDD And ;;w;; cannyot wose x3 youw >_> way. 
MENENIUS. ^-^ Good ^w^ faith, I'll ^-^ pwuv :3 him, 
ÚwÚ Speed >w< how >w< it :33 wiww. UwU I UwU shaww ere ^-^ wong uWu have >_< knyowwedge 
Of x3 my OwO success. uWu Exit 
^w^ COMINyIUS. ^-^ He'ww >_< nyevew hear ^.^ him. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Not? 
^w^ COMINyIUS. UwU I tell xDD you ^.^ he does sit uWu in ^.^ gowd, :33 his ^w^ eye 
UwU Wed >_< as ^w^ 'twouwd buwn ^w^ Wome, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ injuwy 
uWu The gaowew to :33 his >_> pity. UwU I knyeew'd >w< befowe him; 
>_< 'Twas xDD vewy ^w^ faintwy ^.^ he uWu said 'Rise'; OwO dismiss'd ;;w;; me 
^-^ Thus with :33 his speechwess >w< hand. >_> What ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd UwU do, 
>w< He sent uWu in wwiting ÚwÚ aftew OwO me; >_> what ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, 
^.^ Bound with >w< an ^-^ oath to yield to :33 his :3 conditions; 
^w^ So :3 that aww UwU hope >_> is vain, 
OwO Unwess :33 his x3 nyobwe mothew ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 wife, 
UwU Who, >_< as UwU I heaw, >_> mean to sowicit ^.^ him 
For xDD mewcy to :33 his country. Therefore >_> wet's hence, 
xDD And with UwU ouw >w< faiw :33 entweaties ^.^ haste them :3 on. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The ;;w;; Vowscian ÚwÚ camp >w< befowe ÚwÚ Wome 

Entew >_< MENyENyIUS to x3 the >w< WATCH on xDD guawd 

uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. >_< Stay. OwO Whence OwO awe you? 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. >_> Stand, ÚwÚ and OwO go back. 
MENENIUS. >_> You xDD guawd ^.^ wike men, UwU 'tis well; but, ^.^ by x3 youw weave, 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< an officer of >w< state ÚwÚ and come 
;;w;; To speak with Coriolanus. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. Fwom ÚwÚ whence? 
MENENIUS. Fwom xDD Wome. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. YOU OwO may nyot UwU pass; xDD you ^w^ must wetuwn. Our general 
Will nyo ^.^ mowe hear from ^w^ thence. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. You'll >_> see x3 youw ÚwÚ Wome x3 embwac'd with fire >w< befowe 
You'll speak with Coriolanus. 
MENENIUS. ^-^ Good x3 my OwO fwiends, 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu have heard x3 youw general tawk of ÚwÚ Wome 
xDD And of :33 his ^w^ fwiends thewe, >w< it >_> is lots to blanks 
OwO My xDD nyame hath touch'd x3 youw ears: >w< it >_> is >_< Menyenyius. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. ^w^ Be >w< it so; OwO go back. uWu The viwtue of x3 youw xDD nyame 
Is nyot OwO hewe :33 passabwe. 
MENENIUS. UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, fewwow, 
x3 Thy general >_> is x3 my wuvw. UwU I uWu have :33 been 
uWu The ^w^ book of :33 his ÚwÚ good acts >_> whence ;;w;; men uWu have ^w^ wead 
ÚwÚ His fame unparallel'd haply :3 ampwified; 
For UwU I uWu have OwO evew vewified x3 my >_> fwiends- 
Of ÚwÚ whom uWu he's chief- with aww x3 the ;;w;; size :3 that ^w^ vewity 
Wouwd ^-^ without OwO wapsing :33 suffew. Nyay, >_< sometimes, 
Wike to :3 a >w< boww ;;w;; upon :3 a >_> subtwe ground, 
UwU I uWu have >_> tumbwed x3 past x3 the thwow, ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his praise 
:3 Have almost stamp'd x3 the leasing; OwO thewefowe, fewwow, 
UwU I ^w^ must uWu have OwO weave to :3 pass. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. Faith, ^w^ siw, >_> if xDD you xDD had told >_< as UwU many wies uWu in :33 his behawf 
>_< as xDD you uWu have uttered wowds uWu in x3 youw OwO own, xDD you >_> shouwd nyot pass ^.^ hewe; 
no, ^w^ though >w< it :3 wewe >_< as virtuous to >_< wie >_< as to ^w^ wive >_> chastewy. 
Therefore OwO go back. 
MENENIUS. Prithee, fewwow, remember x3 my xDD nyame >_> is ^-^ Menyenyius, awways 
OwO factionyawy on x3 the party of x3 youw genyewaw. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. xDD Howsoevew xDD you uWu have :33 been :33 his liar, >_< as xDD you >_> say xDD you 
have, UwU I ^w^ am one :3 that, :3 tewwing true :33 undew :3 him, ^w^ must >_> say xDD you ;;w;; cannyot 
:3 pass. Therefore OwO go back. 
MENENIUS. x3 Has ^.^ he ;;w;; din'd, ;;w;; canst xDD thou teww? For UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot speak with 
^.^ him >w< tiww ÚwÚ aftew uWu dinnyew. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. >_> You OwO awe :3 a Woman, OwO awe you? 
MENENIUS. UwU I ^w^ am >_< as >w< thy general >w< is. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. UwU Then xDD you >_> shouwd ^-^ hate ^w^ Wome, >_< as ^.^ he does. UwU Can UwU you, when 
xDD you uWu have UwU push'd x3 out x3 youw :3 gates x3 the xDD vewy defendew of ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and uWu in 
:3 a :3 viowent :33 popuwaw ÚwÚ ignyowance UwU given x3 youw ;;w;; enyemy x3 youw ÚwÚ shiewd, think 
to >w< fwont :33 his :33 wevenges with x3 the ^w^ easy groans of ;;w;; owd UwU women, x3 the 
^.^ viwginyaw palms of x3 youw ^w^ daughtews, ow with x3 the palsied 
>_< intewcession of xDD such :3 a decay'd dotant >_< as xDD you xDD seem to :3 be? UwU Can xDD you 
think to ^w^ bwow x3 out x3 the :3 intended fire x3 youw UwU city >_> is ready to fwame 
uWu in with xDD such xDD weak UwU bweath >_< as :3 this? :3 Nyo, xDD you OwO awe :3 deceiv'd; >_< thewefowe 
back to ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and >_> pwepawe fow x3 youw xDD execution. >_> You OwO awe uWu condemn'd; 
UwU ouw general >_> has sworn xDD you x3 out of reprieve ÚwÚ and pardon. 
MENENIUS. Siwwah, >_> if >w< thy UwU captain UwU knyew UwU I :3 wewe UwU hewe, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd use ;;w;; me 
with >_> estimation. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. ^.^ Come, x3 my UwU captain xDD knyows xDD you not. 
MENENIUS. UwU I >_> mean >w< thy genyewaw. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. OwO My general ÚwÚ cawes nyot fow OwO you. ^w^ Back, UwU I say; x3 go, xDD west UwU I 
wet fowth x3 youw half >_< pint of blood. ÚwÚ Back- ^w^ that's x3 the utmost of 
x3 youw having. uWu Back. 
MENENIUS. Nyay, >_> but fewwow, UwU fewwow- 

Entew ^.^ COWIOWANyUS with xDD AUFIDIUS 

^.^ COWIOWANyUS. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
MENENIUS. >_> Nyow, xDD you >_< companyion, I'll >_> say >w< an x3 ewwand fow uWu you; xDD you UwU shaww 
^.^ knyow nyow :3 that UwU I ^w^ am uWu in OwO estimation; xDD you UwU shaww >_> pewceive :3 that :3 a x3 Jack 
xDD guawdant ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ office ;;w;; me from x3 my >_< son Coriolanus. UwU Guess >_> but ^.^ by x3 my 
entewtainment with ^.^ him >_> if xDD thou OwO stand'st nyot :33 i' x3 th' >w< state of 
hanging, ow of x3 some :33 death ^.^ mowe ^-^ wong uWu in uWu spectatowship ÚwÚ and cwuewwew 
uWu in ^-^ suffewing; behowd nyow pwesentwy, ÚwÚ and xDD swoon fow UwU what's to come 
;;w;; upon thee. uWu The glorious gods sit uWu in hourly ^.^ synyod about >w< thy 
xDD pawticuwaw prosperity, ÚwÚ and wuv uWu thee nyo xDD wowse than >w< thy ;;w;; owd >w< fathew 
^-^ Menyenyius does! x3 O x3 my ^w^ son! x3 my ^w^ son! xDD thou awt preparing fire fow us; 
wook ÚwÚ thee, hewe's UwU watew to quench :3 it. UwU I UwU was hardly ^-^ muvd to come 
to ÚwÚ thee; >_> but ^.^ being assured >_< nyonye >_> but mysewf couwd move ÚwÚ thee, UwU I 
uWu have :33 been >_> bwown x3 out of x3 youw :3 gates with xDD sighs, ÚwÚ and x3 conjuwe uWu thee to 
UwU pawdon ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and >w< thy petitionary uWu countwymen. uWu The ÚwÚ good gods xDD assuage 
>w< thy :33 wwath, ÚwÚ and turn x3 the UwU dwegs of >w< it ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this vawwet ^.^ hewe; uWu this, 
who, ^.^ wike :3 a :3 bwock, hath >w< denyied x3 my x3 access to thee. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_> Away! 
MENENIUS. OwO How! away! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_< Wife, :33 mothew, child, UwU I ^.^ knyow not. OwO My affairs 
^w^ Awe sewvanted to ÚwÚ othews. ;;w;; Though UwU I >_> owe 
OwO My xDD wevenge :33 pwopewwy, x3 my wemission wies 
^w^ In ;;w;; Vowscian breasts. :33 That ^.^ we uWu have :33 been ^w^ famiwiaw, 
ÚwÚ Ingwate ÚwÚ fowgetfuwnyess UwU shaww x3 poison rather 
Than pity ^-^ nyote >w< how :33 much. Therefore be ;;w;; gonye. 
Mine OwO eaws OwO against x3 youw ^w^ suits OwO awe stronger than 
uWu Youw :3 gates OwO against x3 my >_> fowce. Yet, fow UwU I :3 wov'd ÚwÚ thee, 
^.^ Take ÚwÚ this along; UwU I ^-^ wwit >w< it fow >w< thy ÚwÚ sake xDD [Gives :3 a >_> wettew] 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd uWu have sent :3 it. ÚwÚ Anyothew word, ^-^ Menyenyius, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot hear uWu thee >_< speak. This ^w^ man, >_< Aufidius, 
Was x3 my ÚwÚ bewov'd uWu in Rome; yet xDD thou behold'st. 
AUFIDIUS. >_> You >_< keep :3 a ^w^ constant temper. 
Exeunt ^.^ COWIOWANyUS ÚwÚ and Aufidius 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, >_> is x3 youw xDD nyame Menyenyius? 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. 'Tis :3 a ;;w;; speww, xDD you see, of much ^.^ powew! >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the 
uWu way ^.^ home ;;w;; again. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. Do xDD you hear >w< how ^.^ we OwO awe shent fow ^w^ keeping x3 youw 
:33 gweatnyess back? 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. >_> What >_< cause, UwU do xDD you >_< think, UwU I uWu have to ^w^ swoon? 
MENENIUS. UwU I :3 nyeithew :3 cawe fow x3 th' wowwd nor x3 youw ^-^ genyewaw; fow xDD such 
^.^ things >_< as UwU you, UwU I ^.^ can scawce think there's uWu any, ;;w;; y'awe UwU so :3 swight. 
>w< He :3 that hath :3 a xDD wiww to ^-^ die ^.^ by >_< himsewf OwO feaws >w< it nyot from anyothew. 
Let x3 youw general UwU do :33 his x3 wowst. For UwU you, be :3 that xDD you awe, xDD wong; 
ÚwÚ and x3 youw misery incwease with x3 youw >_> age! UwU I >_> say to UwU you, >_< as UwU I UwU was 
uWu said :3 to: >_> Away! uWu Exit 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ WATCH. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe fewwow, UwU I :33 wawwant ^.^ him. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WATCH. uWu The ÚwÚ wowthy fewwow >_> is UwU ouw ^-^ genyewaw; uWu he's x3 the :33 wock, x3 the 
ÚwÚ oak nyot to be >_< wind-shaken. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The ^w^ tent of ^.^ COWIOWANyUS 

Entew OwO COWIOWANyUS, x3 AUFIDIUS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

^.^ COWIOWANyUS. We xDD wiww >w< befowe x3 the OwO wawws of ÚwÚ Wome to-mowwow 
Set down UwU ouw >_< host. OwO My ;;w;; pawtnyew uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD action, 
>_> You ^w^ must wepowt to x3 th' ;;w;; Vowscian wowds >w< how x3 pwainwy 
UwU I uWu have :3 bownye ÚwÚ this business. 
AUFIDIUS. Onwy uWu theiw uWu ends 
>_> You uWu have :33 wespected; ;;w;; stopp'd x3 youw OwO eaws OwO against 
uWu The general >_> suit of Rome; >_< nyevew admitted 
^-^ A >_> pwivate ÚwÚ whispew- no, nyot with xDD such ^w^ fwiends 
:33 That xDD thought them >_< suwe of OwO you. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. This >w< wast ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, 
;;w;; Whom with >_< cwack'd >_< heawt UwU I uWu have sent to ^w^ Wome, 
UwU Wov'd ;;w;; me :33 abuv x3 the UwU measuwe of :3 a father; 
Nyay, godded ;;w;; me indeed. ^-^ Theiw ^-^ watest ÚwÚ wefuge 
Was to >_> send him; fow x3 whose ;;w;; owd wuv UwU I have- 
;;w;; Though UwU I ^w^ show'd souwwy to uWu him- >_> once ^.^ mowe >_< offew'd 
uWu The xDD fiwst conditions, which ;;w;; they uWu did refuse 
xDD And ;;w;; cannyot nyow x3 accept. ;;w;; To xDD gwace ^.^ him >_> onwy, 
:33 That xDD thought ^.^ he couwd UwU do >_> mowe, :3 a xDD vewy xDD wittwe 
UwU I uWu have yiewded >w< to; >w< fwesh ^-^ embassies ÚwÚ and suits, 
x3 Nyow from x3 the >w< state nor >_> pwivate OwO fwiends, heweaftew 
Will UwU I xDD wend ear ;;w;; to. OwO [Shout ;;w;; within] uWu Ha! >_> what >_> shout >_> is :3 this? 
Shall UwU I be tempted to infringe x3 my vow 
^w^ In x3 the same time UwU 'tis ÚwÚ made? UwU I xDD wiww not. 

OwO Entew, uWu in >w< mouwnying ;;w;; habits, >w< VIWGIWIA, OwO VOWUMNyIA, :33 VAWEWIA, 
:3 YOUNG ^w^ MAWCIUS, with ^.^ attendants 

OwO My >w< wife x3 comes ^w^ fowemost, xDD then x3 the :3 honyouw'd mould 
^-^ Whewein ÚwÚ this UwU twunk UwU was fram'd, ÚwÚ and uWu in her uWu hand 
uWu The :3 gwandchiwd to her blood. OwO But ^.^ out, xDD affection! 
All :3 bond ÚwÚ and OwO pwiviwege of nyatuwe, break! 
Let >w< it be virtuous to be :33 obstinyate. 
>_> What >_> is :3 that :3 cuwtsy worth? ow UwU those doves' ^w^ eyes, 
>_< Which ^.^ can >_< make gods ÚwÚ fowswown? UwU I :33 mewt, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am nyot 
Of stronger ^.^ eawth than ÚwÚ othews. OwO My mothew xDD bows, 
;;w;; As >_> if OwO Owympus to :3 a UwU mowehiww >_> shouwd 
^w^ In ÚwÚ suppwication >w< nyod; ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD young ;;w;; boy 
>_< Hath >w< an uWu aspect of >_< intewcession which 
UwU Gweat ÚwÚ nyatuwe x3 cwies uWu 'Deny ^-^ nyot.' Let x3 the ;;w;; Vowsces 
>_< Pwough ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and ^.^ hawwow >w< Itawy; I'll >_< nyevew 
^w^ Be xDD such :3 a :3 goswing to UwU obey instinct, >_> but stand 
;;w;; As >_> if :3 a x3 man :3 wewe ÚwÚ authow of >_< himsewf 
xDD And UwU knyew nyo othew x3 kin. 
VIRGILIA. OwO My ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ husband! 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ;;w;; These eyes OwO awe nyot x3 the same UwU I ÚwÚ wowe uWu in xDD Wome. 
VIRGILIA. uWu The sorrow :3 that xDD dewivews >_> us OwO thus chang'd 
:3 Makes xDD you think :3 so. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Wike :3 a dull :33 actow nyow 
UwU I uWu have fowgot x3 my ÚwÚ pawt ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ out, 
Even to :3 a full UwU disgwace. UwU Best of x3 my OwO fwesh, 
>_< Fowgive x3 my uWu tywanny; >_> but UwU do nyot say, 
For :3 that, 'Forgive UwU ouw Womans.' >_< O, :3 a :3 kiss 
OwO Wong >_< as x3 my >w< exiwe, x3 sweet >_< as x3 my wevenge! 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the jealous >_< queen of ^.^ heaven, :3 that :3 kiss 
UwU I cawwied from ÚwÚ thee, deaw, ÚwÚ and x3 my true >_< wip 
>_< Hath virgin'd >w< it ;;w;; e'ew since. >_> You ^-^ gods! UwU I ;;w;; pwate, 
xDD And x3 the UwU most x3 nyobwe mothew of x3 the wowwd 
Weave unsawuted. xDD Sink, x3 my OwO knyee, :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ eawth; >_< [Knyeews] 
Of >w< thy >_> deep >_> duty ^.^ mowe x3 impwession x3 show 
Than :3 that of ^w^ common >w< sons. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >_< O, stand x3 up >_> bwest! 
Whilst with nyo softer >_> cushion than x3 the OwO fwint 
UwU I ^w^ knyeew >w< befowe ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and OwO unpwopewwy 
uWu Show >_< duty, >_< as ^.^ mistaken aww ÚwÚ this OwO whiwe 
Between x3 the chiwd ÚwÚ and pawent. >_< [Knyeews] 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. x3 What's :3 this? 
uWu Youw knees to uWu me, to x3 youw :33 cowwected uWu son? 
UwU Then wet x3 the xDD pebbwes on x3 the hungwy >w< beach 
Fiwwip x3 the OwO staws; xDD then wet x3 the mutinyous >_< winds 
OwO Stwike x3 the OwO pwoud :3 cedaws uWu 'gainst x3 the fiery sun, 
Murd'ring xDD impossibiwity, to >_< make 
>_> What ;;w;; cannyot be :3 swight >w< wowk. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. ^.^ Thou awt x3 my ÚwÚ wawwiow; 
UwU I holp to fwame thee. Do xDD you ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this x3 wady? 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu The x3 nyobwe :3 sistew of Publicola, 
uWu The ;;w;; moon of ^w^ Wome, >w< chaste >_< as x3 the xDD icicwe 
>w< That's cuwdied ^.^ by x3 the frost from puwest ;;w;; snyow, 
xDD And uWu hangs on Dian's tempwe- uWu deaw Valeria! 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. This >_> is :3 a poor epitome of >_< youws, 
>_< Which ^.^ by x3 th' ^-^ intewpwetation of full time 
^-^ May x3 show ^.^ wike aww OwO youwsewf. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu The god of xDD sowdiews, 
With x3 the >_< consent of supweme Juv, infowm 
x3 Thy >_< thoughts with nobleness, :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst ^-^ pwuv 
;;w;; To ^-^ shame x3 unvuwnyewabwe, ÚwÚ and OwO stick :33 i' x3 th' UwU waws 
Wike :3 a great sea-mawk, >_< standing every ^w^ fwaw, 
xDD And OwO saving UwU those :3 that ^w^ eye uWu thee! 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. uWu Youw OwO knyee, sirrah. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >w< That's x3 my >_< bwave uWu boy. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Even xDD he, x3 youw :3 wife, ÚwÚ this UwU wady, ÚwÚ and myself, 
^w^ Awe ^-^ suitows to OwO you. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, peace! 
:3 Ow, >_> if you'd >_< ask, remember ÚwÚ this xDD befowe: 
uWu The ^.^ thing UwU I uWu have ;;w;; fowswown to gwant OwO may >_< nyevew 
^w^ Be hewd ^.^ by xDD you denials. Do nyot bid ;;w;; me 
>_< Dismiss x3 my xDD sowdiews, ow >w< capituwate 
^.^ Again with OwO Wome's ^w^ mechanyics. Teww ;;w;; me nyot 
^-^ Whewein UwU I xDD seem unnatural; ^.^ desiwe nyot 
T'allay x3 my rages ÚwÚ and :33 wevenges with 
uWu Youw ^-^ cowdew weasons. 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. >_< O, nyo >_> mowe, nyo uWu mowe! 
>_> You uWu have uWu said xDD you xDD wiww nyot gwant >_> us xDD any xDD thing- 
For ^.^ we uWu have >_< nyothing >_> ewse to ^w^ ask >_> but :3 that 
>_< Which xDD you UwU deny already; yet ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< ask, 
^.^ That, >_> if xDD you fail uWu in UwU ouw ÚwÚ wequest, x3 the uWu bwame 
^-^ May ^w^ hang ;;w;; upon x3 youw x3 hawdnyess; >_< thewefowe hear >_> us. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >_< Aufidius, ÚwÚ and xDD you ^w^ Vowsces, mark; fow we'll 
>w< Heaw >_< nyought from ÚwÚ Wome uWu in >_> pwivate. uWu Youw :33 wequest? 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Should ^.^ we be silent ÚwÚ and nyot :3 speak, UwU ouw >_> waiment 
xDD And >w< state of >_< bodies ^.^ wouwd OwO bewway >_> what >w< wife 
We uWu have x3 wed xDD since >w< thy :33 exiwe. ^w^ Think with >w< thysewf 
How ^.^ mowe :33 unfowtunyate than aww UwU wiving x3 women 
^w^ Awe ^.^ we come hithew; xDD since :3 that >w< thy UwU sight, which >_> shouwd 
^-^ Make UwU ouw eyes fwow with joy, heawts UwU dance with uWu comfowts, 
Constrains them xDD weep ÚwÚ and ;;w;; shake with feaw ÚwÚ and >_> sowwow, 
^.^ Making x3 the :33 mothew, :3 wife, ÚwÚ and child, to >_> see 
uWu The x3 son, x3 the ^.^ husband, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ fathew, teawing 
ÚwÚ His >_> countwy's bowels OwO out. xDD And to poor ^.^ we 
OwO Thinye enmity's UwU most :33 capitaw: xDD thou baw'st >_> us 
Our >_< pwayews to x3 the uWu gods, which >_> is :3 a uWu comfowt 
:33 That aww >_> but ^.^ we OwO enjoy. For >w< how ^.^ can :33 we, 
ÚwÚ Awas, >w< how ^.^ can ^.^ we fow UwU ouw countwy pray, 
:33 Wheweto ^.^ we OwO awe xDD bound, togethew with >w< thy ;;w;; victowy, 
:33 Wheweto ^.^ we OwO awe ;;w;; bound? xDD Awack, ow ^.^ we ^w^ must wose 
uWu The country, UwU ouw uWu deaw xDD nyuwse, ow >_> ewse >w< thy pewson, 
Our uWu comfowt uWu in x3 the country. We ^w^ must find 
^-^ An ^w^ evident :3 cawamity, ^w^ though ^.^ we xDD had 
Our wish, which x3 side >_> shouwd xDD win; fow xDD eithew xDD thou 
:3 Must >_< as :3 a :33 foweign xDD wecweant be x3 wed 
With >w< manyacwes ^w^ thwough UwU ouw ÚwÚ stweets, ow >_> ewse 
Twiumphantwy ;;w;; twead on >w< thy >_> countwy's >w< wuin, 
xDD And UwU beaw x3 the ^.^ pawm fow xDD having bravely x3 shed 
x3 Thy >w< wife ÚwÚ and chiwdwen's blood. For myself, x3 son, 
UwU I OwO puwpose nyot to wait on :3 fowtunye >w< tiww 
;;w;; These UwU waws detewminye; >_> if UwU I ^.^ can nyot :33 pewsuade uWu thee 
Rather to x3 show :3 a x3 nyobwe xDD gwace to both parts 
Than >_> seek x3 the >w< end of one, xDD thou shalt nyo :33 soonyew 
March to OwO assauwt >w< thy countwy than to tread- 
Twust >_> to't, xDD thou shalt nyot- on >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's womb 
:33 That ^.^ bwought uWu thee to ÚwÚ this wowwd. 
VIRGILIA. Ay, ÚwÚ and >_> minye, 
:33 That ^.^ bwought xDD you fowth ÚwÚ this ;;w;; boy to >_< keep x3 youw xDD nyame 
Living to uWu time. 
BOY. >_> 'A UwU shaww nyot ;;w;; twead on me! 
I'll >w< wun OwO away >w< tiww UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ biggew, >_> but xDD then I'll ^w^ fight. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ÚwÚ Nyot of :3 a xDD woman's :33 tendewnyess to be 
ÚwÚ Wequiwes nor chiwd nor xDD woman's OwO face to ^-^ see. 
UwU I uWu have sat ^w^ too wong. x3 [Wising] 
>_> VOWUMNyIA. Nyay, OwO go nyot from >_> us OwO thus. 
;;w;; If >w< it :3 wewe UwU so :3 that UwU ouw request uWu did tend 
;;w;; To :3 save x3 the uWu Womans, theweby to ÚwÚ destwoy 
uWu The ;;w;; Vowsces ÚwÚ whom xDD you OwO sewve, xDD you ^w^ might >_< condemn >_> us 
;;w;; As OwO poisonyous of x3 youw honyouw. :3 Nyo, UwU ouw >_> suit 
Is :3 that xDD you reconcile ^w^ them: OwO whiwe x3 the ;;w;; Vowsces 
^-^ May >_> say 'This xDD mewcy ^.^ we uWu have >w< show'd,' x3 the Romans 
'This ^.^ we >w< weceiv'd,' ÚwÚ and >_< each uWu in xDD eithew x3 side 
Give x3 the uWu aww-haiw to ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and cwy :3 'Be bwest 
For x3 making x3 up ÚwÚ this ;;w;; peace!' ^.^ Thou >_> knyow'st, great x3 son, 
uWu The >w< end of waw's ^w^ uncewtain; >_> but ÚwÚ this cewtain, 
^.^ That, >_> if xDD thou conquer ^w^ Wome, x3 the ^-^ benyefit 
>_< Which xDD thou shalt theweby reap >_> is xDD such :3 a xDD nyame 
>_< Whose repetition xDD wiww be >_< dogg'd with xDD cuwses; 
>_< Whose chwonyicwe OwO thus :3 wwit: 'The x3 man UwU was noble, 
OwO But with :33 his >w< wast x3 attempt ^.^ he wip'd >w< it ^.^ out, 
;;w;; Destwoy'd :33 his country, ÚwÚ and :33 his xDD nyame remains 
;;w;; To x3 th' ;;w;; ensuing age xDD abhoww'd.' ^w^ Speak to uWu me, OwO son. 
^.^ Thou x3 hast affected x3 the OwO finye stwains of honyouw, 
;;w;; To ^.^ imitate x3 the uWu gwaces of x3 the uWu gods, 
;;w;; To teaw with >_> thundew x3 the uWu wide >_> cheeks ^.^ o' x3 th' air, 
xDD And yet to :3 chawge >w< thy UwU suwphuw with :3 a OwO bowt 
:33 That >_> shouwd >_> but ^w^ wive >w< an ^-^ oak. Why dost nyot x3 speak? 
x3 Think'st xDD thou >w< it ^.^ honyouwabwe fow :3 a x3 nyobwe x3 man 
UwU Stiww to remember wrongs? Daughter, speak xDD you: 
>w< He ÚwÚ cawes nyot fow x3 youw ^.^ weeping. ^w^ Speak UwU thou, ^.^ boy; 
:3 Pewhaps >w< thy chiwdishnyess xDD wiww move ^.^ him ^.^ mowe 
Than ^.^ can UwU ouw weasons. >_> Thewe's nyo x3 man uWu in x3 the wowwd 
uWu Mowe bound to's :33 mothew, yet OwO hewe ^.^ he wets ;;w;; me prate 
Wike one :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ stocks. ^.^ Thou x3 hast >_< nyevew uWu in >w< thy >w< wife 
Show'd >w< thy uWu deaw mothew xDD any couwtesy, 
x3 When uWu she, poor UwU hen, fond of nyo second bwood, 
x3 Has cluck'd uWu thee to x3 the ^-^ waws, ÚwÚ and >w< safewy ^.^ home 
>_> Woaden with honyouw. x3 Say x3 my >_> wequest's xDD unjust, 
xDD And :33 spuwn ;;w;; me back; >_> but >_> if >w< it ^.^ he nyot >_> so, 
^.^ Thou awt nyot OwO honyest, ÚwÚ and x3 the gods xDD wiww pwague ÚwÚ thee, 
:33 That xDD thou x3 westwain'st from ;;w;; me x3 the >_> duty which 
;;w;; To :3 a ;;w;; mothew's ÚwÚ pawt ^-^ bewongs. >w< He tuwns xDD away. 
Down, ^w^ wadies; wet >_> us ^-^ shame ^.^ him with UwU ouw knyees. 
;;w;; To :33 his surname Cowiowanyus ÚwÚ 'wongs ^.^ mowe >_< pwide 
Than pity to UwU ouw prayers. ^w^ Down. ^-^ An ^w^ end; 
This >_> is x3 the last. ^w^ So ^.^ we xDD wiww ^.^ home to ^w^ Wome, 
xDD And ^-^ die ^-^ among UwU ouw ^.^ nyeighbouws. Nyay, xDD behowd's! 
This ^-^ boy, :3 that ;;w;; cannyot tell >_> what ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have 
OwO But knyeews ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ howds x3 up ^.^ hands fow fellowship, 
ÚwÚ Does reason UwU ouw x3 petition with ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ stwength 
Than xDD thou x3 hast to >_< deny't. ^.^ Come, wet >_> us ÚwÚ go. 
This fewwow xDD had :3 a ;;w;; Vowscian to :33 his mothew; 
ÚwÚ His >w< wife >_> is uWu in Corioli, ÚwÚ and :33 his chiwd 
Wike ^.^ him ^.^ by >w< chance. ÚwÚ Yet UwU give >_> us UwU ouw dispatch. 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU hush'd ÚwÚ untiw UwU ouw UwU city be >_> afiwe, 
xDD And xDD then I'll speak :3 a ^.^ wittwe. 
[He ÚwÚ howds her ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand, ;;w;; siwent] 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. x3 O :33 mothew, mothew! 
>_> What uWu have xDD you done? UwU Behowd, x3 the heavens UwU do ope, 
uWu The gods wook ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this unnyatuwaw scene 
^-^ They laugh at. x3 O x3 my :33 mothew, mothew! :3 O! 
>_> You uWu have ^.^ won :3 a ^w^ happy OwO victowy to Rome; 
OwO But fow x3 youw >_< son- ^-^ bewieve :33 it, >_< O, ^-^ bewieve >_> it!- 
:3 Most ÚwÚ dangewouswy xDD you uWu have with ^.^ him uWu pwevaiw'd, 
;;w;; If nyot UwU most >w< mowtaw to ^.^ him. OwO But wet >w< it x3 come. 
>_< Aufidius, ^w^ though UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_< make true ^-^ waws, 
I'll fwame UwU convenyient peace. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good >_< Aufidius, 
^.^ Wewe xDD you uWu in x3 my >_< stead, ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu have heard 
^-^ A mothew UwU wess, ow >_> gwanted UwU wess, UwU Aufidius? 
AUFIDIUS. UwU I UwU was x3 mov'd uWu withaw. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. UwU I dawe be sworn xDD you were! 
^.^ And, ^w^ siw, >w< it >_> is nyo xDD wittwe ^.^ thing to >_< make 
Mine eyes to UwU sweat x3 compassion. But, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, 
>_> What uWu peace uWu you'fw ;;w;; make, ;;w;; advise x3 me. For x3 my >_> pawt, 
I'll nyot to ^w^ Wome, I'll back with uWu you; ÚwÚ and pray xDD you 
;;w;; Stand to ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO cause. x3 O mothew! wife! 
AUFIDIUS. :3 [Aside] UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad xDD thou x3 hast uWu set >w< thy xDD mewcy ÚwÚ and >w< thy 
honour 
At ^.^ diffewence uWu in thee. UwU Out of :3 that I'll ^.^ wowk 
xDD Mysewf :3 a xDD fowmew xDD fowtunye. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :33 [To x3 the wadies] Ay, ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ;;w;; by; 
OwO But ^.^ we xDD wiww ÚwÚ dwink together; ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww UwU beaw 
^-^ A xDD bettew >_> witnyess back than wowds, which :33 we, 
On ^.^ wike conditions, xDD wiww uWu have ^.^ countew-seaw'd. 
^.^ Come, enter with >_> us. Ladies, xDD you OwO desewve 
;;w;; To uWu have :3 a OwO tempwe buiwt OwO you. All x3 the :33 swowds 
^w^ In Italy, ÚwÚ and her >_< confedewate awms, 
Could nyot uWu have UwU made ÚwÚ this peace. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew >_< MENyENyIUS ÚwÚ and x3 SICINyIUS 

MENENIUS. xDD See xDD you :33 yond xDD coign ^.^ o' x3 th' Capitol, :33 yond >_< cownyewstonye? 
:3 SICINyIUS. Why, >_> what of ^-^ that? 
MENENIUS. ;;w;; If >w< it be OwO possibwe fow xDD you to xDD dispwace >w< it with x3 youw xDD wittwe 
finger, there >_> is x3 some UwU hope x3 the ^.^ wadies of ^w^ Wome, especially :33 his 
:33 mothew, OwO may :3 pwevaiw with ^.^ him. OwO But UwU I >_> say there >_> is nyo UwU hope in't; 
UwU ouw ÚwÚ thwoats OwO awe :3 sentenc'd, ÚwÚ and xDD stay ;;w;; upon xDD execution. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^-^ Is't OwO possibwe :3 that UwU so showt :3 a time ^.^ can x3 awtew x3 the 
condition of :3 a man? 
MENENIUS. >_> Thewe >_> is differency ^-^ between :3 a >_< gwub ÚwÚ and :3 a butterfly; yet 
x3 youw OwO buttewfwy UwU was :3 a gwub. This Marcius >_> is grown from x3 man to 
UwU dwagon; ^.^ he >_> has wings, uWu he's ^.^ mowe than :3 a xDD cweeping >_> thing. 
:3 SICINyIUS. >w< He :3 wov'd :33 his mothew deawwy. 
MENENIUS. ^w^ So uWu did ^.^ he OwO me; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he nyo ^.^ mowe :33 wemembews :33 his mothew nyow 
than >w< an ^w^ eight-yeaw-owd horse. uWu The >_> tawtnyess of :33 his OwO face >w< souws ripe 
gwapes; when ^.^ he walks, ^.^ he moves ^.^ wike >w< an ;;w;; enginye ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 gwound 
:33 shwinks >w< befowe :33 his ;;w;; tweading. >w< He >_> is able to xDD piewce :3 a cowswet with 
:33 his >_< eye, talks ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ knyeww, ÚwÚ and :33 his OwO hum >_> is :3 a :33 battewy. >w< He >_> sits uWu in 
:33 his >w< state >_< as :3 a ^.^ thing UwU made fow Awexandew. >_> What ^.^ he UwU bids be donye >_> is 
:33 finyish'd with :33 his xDD bidding. >w< He wants >_< nyothing of :3 a god >_> but 
UwU etewnyity, ÚwÚ and :3 a heaven to >_< thwonye ^.^ in. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^.^ Yes- mercy, >_> if xDD you wepowt ^.^ him UwU twuwy. 
MENENIUS. UwU I OwO paint ^.^ him uWu in x3 the character. >_> Mawk >_> what xDD mewcy :33 his mothew 
UwU shaww ;;w;; bwing from ^.^ him. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe xDD mewcy uWu in ^.^ him than there >_> is 
milk uWu in :3 a male :3 tigew; :3 that UwU shaww UwU ouw poor UwU city find. xDD And aww ÚwÚ this 
>_> is 'long of OwO you. 
:3 SICINyIUS. uWu The gods be ÚwÚ good >w< unto ÚwÚ us! 
MENENIUS. :3 Nyo, uWu in xDD such :3 a case x3 the gods xDD wiww nyot be ÚwÚ good >w< unto >_> us. 
x3 When ^.^ we banyish'd ^.^ him ^.^ we respected nyot OwO them; x3 and, ^.^ he wetuwnying to 
bweak UwU ouw ÚwÚ nyecks, ;;w;; they wespect nyot >_> us. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. UwU Siw, >_> if you'd :3 save x3 youw :3 wife, fwy to x3 youw ÚwÚ house. 
uWu The plebeians uWu have ^w^ got x3 youw fewwow twibunye 
xDD And UwU hawe ^.^ him x3 up ÚwÚ and down; aww swearing >_> if 
uWu The Roman ^.^ wadies ;;w;; bwing nyot uWu comfowt ^.^ home 
x3 They'ww UwU give ^.^ him :33 death ^.^ by inches. 

Entew anyothew MESSENGEW 

:3 SICINyIUS. x3 What's x3 the nyews? 
^w^ SECOND x3 MESSENGEW. ^-^ Good news, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ nyews! uWu The ^.^ wadies uWu have uWu pwevaiw'd, 
uWu The >_< Vowscians OwO awe dislodg'd, ÚwÚ and Marcius ;;w;; gonye. 
^-^ A mewwiew day uWu did >_< nyevew yet x3 gweet ^w^ Wome, 
:3 Nyo, nyot x3 th' x3 expuwsion of x3 the Tawquins. 
:3 SICINyIUS. Fwiend, 
Awt xDD thou xDD cewtain ÚwÚ this >_> is twue? ^-^ Is't UwU most ^w^ cewtain? 
^w^ SECOND x3 MESSENGEW. ;;w;; As xDD cewtain >_< as UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the sun >_> is >_> fiwe. 
Whewe uWu have xDD you :3 wuwk'd, :3 that xDD you >_< make doubt of :33 it? 
Nye'ew ^w^ thwough >w< an ^-^ awch UwU so ^.^ huwwied x3 the >_> bwown >_< tide 
;;w;; As x3 the recomforted ^w^ thwough x3 th' gates. Why, x3 hawk you! 
[Twumpets, ;;w;; hautboys, xDD dwums beat, aww together] 
uWu The twumpets, ^.^ sackbuts, psawtewies, ÚwÚ and fifes, 
:3 Tabows ÚwÚ and uWu cymbaws, ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 shouting uWu Womans, 
^-^ Make x3 the sun >_< dance. ^.^ Hawk you! :3 [A >_> shout ;;w;; within] 
MENENIUS. This >_> is ÚwÚ good ;;w;; nyews. 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO go :3 meet x3 the wadies. This ^w^ Vowumnyia 
Is ^.^ wowth of consuls, senyatows, UwU patwicians, 
^-^ A UwU city >_> fuww; of tribunes xDD such >_< as UwU you, 
^-^ A sea ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wand ^w^ fuww. >_> You uWu have pray'd weww x3 to-day: 
This mownying fow ;;w;; ten thousand of x3 youw ÚwÚ thwoats 
;;w;; I'd nyot uWu have UwU given :3 a UwU doit. Hawk, >w< how ;;w;; they >_< joy! 
uWu [Sound still with x3 the ÚwÚ shouts] 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^.^ Fiwst, x3 the gods ;;w;; bwess xDD you fow x3 youw ;;w;; tidings; next, 
>_> Accept x3 my thankfulness. 
^w^ SECOND x3 MESSENGEW. UwU Siw, ^.^ we uWu have aww 
UwU Gweat cause to UwU give great :33 thanks. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^-^ They OwO awe nyeaw x3 the ^-^ city? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Awmost uWu at :33 point to enter. 
:3 SICINyIUS. ^-^ We'ww :3 meet ÚwÚ them, 
xDD And OwO hewp x3 the ^-^ joy. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A :3 stweet nyeaw x3 the uWu gate 

Entew >w< two x3 SENyATOWS With OwO VOWUMNyIA, >w< VIWGIWIA, :33 VAWEWIA, passing uvw x3 the ^w^ stage, 
:33 'With othew ;;w;; WOWDS 

uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ÚwÚ Behowd UwU ouw >w< patwonyess, x3 the >w< wife of Wome! 
;;w;; Caww aww x3 youw ^-^ twibes together, praise x3 the uWu gods, 
xDD And >_< make x3 twiumphant fires; strew fwowews >w< befowe OwO them. 
>_> Unshout x3 the noise :3 that banyish'd ^w^ Mawcius, 
>_< Wepeaw ^.^ him with x3 the wewcome of :33 his mothew; 
uWu AWW. Welcome, x3 wadies, welcome! 
:3 [A :33 fwouwish with xDD dwums ÚwÚ and x3 twumpets. Exeunt] 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
OwO Cowiowi. ^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew OwO TUWWUS xDD AUFIDIUS with attendents 

AUFIDIUS. Go tell x3 the wowds ^.^ o' x3 th' UwU city UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ hewe; 
Deliver them ÚwÚ this x3 papew' xDD having ^w^ wead :33 it, 
x3 Bid them repair to x3 th' mawket-pwace, :3 whewe I, 
Even uWu in theirs ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the OwO commons' ;;w;; eaws, 
Will ÚwÚ vouch x3 the uWu twuth of :3 it. xDD Him UwU I ;;w;; accuse 
uWu The UwU city ports ^.^ by ÚwÚ this hath entew'd ÚwÚ and 
Intends t' appeaw >w< befowe x3 the >_> peopwe, ^w^ hoping 
;;w;; To OwO puwge >_< himsewf with ÚwÚ wowds. Dispatch. 
Exeunt ^.^ attendants 

Entew >w< thwee ow fouw OwO CONSPIWATOWS of AUFIDIUS' ^w^ faction 

:3 Most welcome! 
uWu FIWST ^w^ CONSPIWATOW. How >_> is >w< it with UwU ouw x3 genyewaw? 
AUFIDIUS. Even UwU so 
;;w;; As with :3 a x3 man ^.^ by :33 his UwU own :3 awms >w< empoison'd, 
xDD And with :33 his xDD chawity ^w^ swain. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ CONSPIWATOW. :3 Most x3 nyobwe ^w^ siw, 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do howd x3 the same :3 intent wherein 
>_> You >w< wish'd >_> us >_> pawties, we'll ÚwÚ dewivew xDD you 
Of x3 youw great danger. 
AUFIDIUS. UwU Siw, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell; 
We ^w^ must proceed >_< as ^.^ we UwU do find x3 the ^-^ peopwe. 
^w^ THIWD ^w^ CONSPIWATOW. uWu The OwO peopwe xDD wiww wemain :33 uncewtain whiwst 
UwU 'Twixt xDD you there's difference; >_> but x3 the faww of xDD eithew 
:3 Makes x3 the suwvivow heir of all. 
AUFIDIUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu it; 
xDD And x3 my xDD pwetext to strike uWu at ^.^ him ^.^ admits 
^-^ A ÚwÚ good x3 constwuction. UwU I >_> wais'd :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU I :3 pawn'd 
Mine honour fow :33 his truth; who ^.^ being UwU so ^w^ heighten'd, 
>w< He x3 watewed :33 his x3 nyew x3 pwants with dews of flattery, 
UwU Seducing UwU so x3 my >_< fwiends; ÚwÚ and to ÚwÚ this >w< end 
>w< He uWu bow'd :33 his nyatuwe, >_< nyevew ÚwÚ knyown >w< befowe 
OwO But to be wough, ;;w;; unswayabwe, ÚwÚ and >w< fwee. 
^w^ THIWD ^w^ CONSPIWATOW. UwU Siw, :33 his uWu stoutnyess 
x3 When ^.^ he uWu did stand fow consul, which ^.^ he wost 
^-^ By ^.^ wack of :33 stooping- 
AUFIDIUS. :33 That UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have >w< spoken uWu of. 
uWu Being banyish'd x3 fow't, ^.^ he ^-^ came >w< unto x3 my :33 heawth, 
xDD Pwesented to x3 my knyife :33 his uWu thwoat. UwU I >_> took him; 
Made ^.^ him ÚwÚ joint-sewvant with OwO me; uWu gave ^.^ him uWu way 
^w^ In aww :33 his UwU own desires; x3 nyay, wet ^.^ him choose 
UwU Out of x3 my ^-^ fiwes, :33 his projects to ^-^ accompwish, 
OwO My best ÚwÚ and freshest ÚwÚ men; sewv'd :33 his :3 designments 
^w^ In >_< minye UwU own ÚwÚ pewson; holp to reap x3 the fame 
>_< Which ^.^ he uWu did >w< end aww his, ÚwÚ and >_> took x3 some >_< pwide 
;;w;; To UwU do mysewf ÚwÚ this wrong. :3 Tiww, uWu at x3 the last, 
UwU I ^w^ seem'd :33 his :3 fowwowew, nyot ^-^ pawtnyew; ÚwÚ and 
>w< He ^w^ wag'd ;;w;; me with :33 his >_< countenyance >_< as >_> if 
UwU I xDD had :33 been ^.^ mewcenyawy. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ CONSPIWATOW. ^w^ So ^.^ he ^-^ did, x3 my OwO wowd. 
uWu The ^.^ awmy ;;w;; mawveww'd uWu at uWu it; x3 and, uWu in x3 the last, 
x3 When ^.^ he xDD had cawwied ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ we >_> wook'd 
For nyo less :33 spoiw than xDD gwowy- 
AUFIDIUS. >_> Thewe UwU was uWu it; 
For which x3 my sinews UwU shaww be ;;w;; stwetch'd ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
At :3 a x3 few ^.^ dwops of x3 women's rheum, which OwO awe 
;;w;; As cheap >_< as lies, ^.^ he sold x3 the :3 bwood ÚwÚ and labour 
Of UwU ouw great ^.^ action; >_< thewefowe UwU shaww ^.^ he >_> die, 
xDD And I'll renew ;;w;; me uWu in :33 his UwU faww. But, x3 hawk! 
^-^ [Dwums ÚwÚ and 
trumpets sound, with great ^w^ shouts of x3 the ^.^ peopwe] 
uWu FIWST ^w^ CONSPIWATOW. uWu Youw OwO nyative :33 town xDD you entew'd ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ post, 
xDD And xDD had nyo wewcomes ÚwÚ home; >_> but ^.^ he wetuwns 
Splitting x3 the ^w^ aiw with noise. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ CONSPIWATOW. xDD And patient :3 foows, 
>_< Whose x3 chiwdwen ^.^ he hath x3 swain, uWu theiw UwU base ÚwÚ thwoats teaw 
With ^.^ giving ^.^ him glory. 
^w^ THIWD ^w^ CONSPIWATOW. >_< Thewefowe, uWu at x3 youw vantage, 
Ere ^.^ he express >_< himsewf ow move x3 the OwO peopwe 
With >_> what ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd say, wet ^.^ him x3 feew x3 youw uWu swowd, 
>_< Which ^.^ we xDD wiww >w< second. x3 When ^.^ he wies along, 
>w< Aftew x3 youw uWu way :33 his xDD tawe ^-^ pwonyounc'd UwU shaww ^.^ buwy 
ÚwÚ His weasons with :33 his body. 
AUFIDIUS. x3 Say nyo uWu mowe: 
:3 Hewe come x3 the lords. 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; WOWDS of x3 the UwU city 

ÚwÚ WOWDS. >_> You OwO awe UwU most wewcome >_> home. 
AUFIDIUS. UwU I uWu have nyot OwO desewv'd :3 it. 
But, ÚwÚ wowthy wowds, uWu have xDD you with :3 heed xDD pewused 
>_> What UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ wwitten to you? 
ÚwÚ WOWDS. We :3 have. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. xDD And UwU gwieve to hear't. 
>_> What :33 fauwts ^.^ he UwU made >w< befowe x3 the last, UwU I think 
^.^ Might uWu have >_> found ^w^ easy >_< finyes; >_> but there to >w< end 
Whewe ^.^ he UwU was to :3 begin, ÚwÚ and UwU give OwO away 
uWu The ^-^ benyefit of UwU ouw x3 wevies, answewing >_> us 
With UwU ouw UwU own charge, x3 making :3 a ^w^ tweaty :3 whewe 
>_> Thewe UwU was :3 a yiewding- ÚwÚ this ^.^ admits nyo uWu excuse. 
AUFIDIUS. >w< He :3 appwoaches; xDD you UwU shaww hear ^.^ him. 

Entew OwO COWIOWANyUS, ^.^ mawching with drum ÚwÚ and OwO cowouws; 
x3 the ÚwÚ commonyews ^.^ being with ^.^ him 

^.^ COWIOWANyUS. >w< Haiw, lords! UwU I ^w^ am wetuwn'd x3 youw UwU sowdiew; 
No ^.^ mowe xDD infected with x3 my >_> countwy's wuv 
Than when UwU I pawted hence, >_> but still x3 subsisting 
;;w;; Undew x3 youw great >_> command. >_> You OwO awe to ^.^ knyow 
:33 That x3 pwospewouswy UwU I uWu have :3 attempted, ÚwÚ and 
With bwoody uWu passage x3 wed x3 youw UwU waws even to 
uWu The :3 gates of xDD Wome. Our UwU spoiws ^.^ we uWu have ^.^ bwought ^.^ home 
^-^ Doth ^.^ mowe than counterpoise :3 a full thiwd ÚwÚ pawt 
uWu The chawges of x3 the OwO action. We uWu have UwU made uWu peace 
With nyo less honour to x3 the Antiates 
Than ^-^ shame to x3 th' Romans; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we OwO hewe x3 dewivew, 
>w< Subscwib'd ^.^ by x3 th' OwO consuws ÚwÚ and UwU patwicians, 
OwO Togethew with x3 the UwU seaw ^.^ o' x3 th' >_< Senyate, >_> what 
We uWu have OwO compounded :3 on. 
AUFIDIUS. xDD Wead >w< it >_> nyot, x3 nyobwe :3 wowds; 
OwO But tell x3 the traitor uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ highest degwee 
>w< He hath UwU abus'd x3 youw xDD powews. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ÚwÚ Twaitow! How ^.^ nyow? 
AUFIDIUS. Ay, traitor, ÚwÚ Mawcius. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. ^.^ Mawcius! 
AUFIDIUS. Ay, ^w^ Mawcius, :3 Caius ^.^ Mawcius! uWu Dost xDD thou think 
I'll xDD gwace uWu thee with :3 that >w< wobbewy, >w< thy :3 stow'n xDD nyame 
Cowiowanyus, uWu in Corioli? 
>_> You wowds ÚwÚ and heads ^.^ o' x3 th' state, :3 pewfidiouswy 
>w< He >_> has betray'd x3 youw business ÚwÚ and UwU given up, 
For xDD cewtain ^.^ dwops of UwU sawt, x3 youw UwU city ^w^ Wome- 
UwU I >_> say x3 youw city- to :33 his >w< wife ÚwÚ and mothew; 
Breaking :33 his ^-^ oath ÚwÚ and uWu wesowution ^.^ wike 
^-^ A ÚwÚ twist of wotten OwO siwk; >_< nyevew >w< admitting 
Counsel ^.^ o' x3 th' UwU waw; >_> but uWu at :33 his nurse's tears 
>w< He ^-^ whin'd ÚwÚ and >w< woaw'd OwO away x3 youw ;;w;; victowy, 
:33 That :33 pages blush'd uWu at :3 him, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men of >_< heawt 
Wook'd UwU wond'wing >_< each uWu at ÚwÚ othews. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. :33 Heaw'st UwU thou, Maws? 
AUFIDIUS. Nyame nyot x3 the ^.^ god, xDD thou ;;w;; boy of UwU teaws- 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. uWu Ha! 
AUFIDIUS. >w< -nyo more. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Measuwewess liar, xDD thou x3 hast UwU made x3 my >_< heawt 
Too great fow >_> what x3 contains :3 it. OwO 'Boy'! x3 O x3 swave! 
^w^ Pawdon uWu me, wowds, UwU 'tis x3 the xDD fiwst time :3 that OwO evew 
UwU I UwU was ;;w;; fowc'd to >_> scowd. uWu Youw xDD judgments, x3 my :3 gwave wowds, 
:3 Must UwU give ÚwÚ this cur x3 the wie; ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU own nyotion- 
Who ^-^ weaws x3 my ^.^ stwipes xDD impwess'd ;;w;; upon :3 him, :3 that 
:3 Must UwU beaw x3 my beating to :33 his grave- UwU shaww ^w^ join 
;;w;; To thwust x3 the >_< wie >w< unto ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. uWu Peace, xDD both, ÚwÚ and hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. Cut ;;w;; me to :3 pieces, Vowsces; ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and >w< wads, 
>_< Stain aww x3 youw ^w^ edges on x3 me. OwO 'Boy'! ÚwÚ Fawse ^-^ hound! 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu have ^-^ wwit x3 youw annyaws ^-^ twue, UwU 'tis there 
^.^ That, ^.^ wike >w< an >_> eagwe uWu in :3 a uWu duv-cote, UwU I 
Flutter'd x3 youw >_< Vowscians uWu in OwO Cowiowi. 
uWu Awonye UwU I uWu did :3 it. OwO 'Boy'! 
AUFIDIUS. Why, x3 nyobwe wowds, 
Will xDD you be put uWu in ^-^ mind of :33 his ^w^ bwind fowtunye, 
>_< Which UwU was x3 youw UwU shame, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this unholy :3 bwaggawt, 
^-^ Fowe x3 youw UwU own eyes ÚwÚ and ears? 
ÚwÚ CONSPIWATOWS. Let ^.^ him ^-^ die xDD fow't. 
^w^ AWW ^-^ THE PEOPWE. >w< Teaw ^.^ him to x3 pieces. Do >w< it presently. >w< He kill'd x3 my 
OwO son. OwO My >w< daughtew. >w< He kill'd x3 my xDD cousin ;;w;; Mawcus. >w< He kill'd x3 my 
:33 fathew. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. uWu Peace, ho! No outwage- peace! 
uWu The x3 man >_> is noble, ÚwÚ and :33 his fame uWu fowds uWu in 
This owb ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; eawth. ÚwÚ His >w< wast :3 offences to >_> us 
Shall uWu have >_< judicious ;;w;; heawing. >_> Stand, >_< Aufidius, 
xDD And >_> twoubwe nyot x3 the peace. 
^.^ COWIOWANyUS. x3 O :3 that UwU I xDD had :3 him, 
With six ÚwÚ Aufidiuses, ow more- :33 his :33 twibe, 
;;w;; To use x3 my ÚwÚ wawfuw swowd! 
AUFIDIUS. Insowent :33 viwwain! 
ÚwÚ CONSPIWATOWS. Kill, ^.^ kiww, ^.^ kiww, ^.^ kiww, OwO kiww x3 him! 
;;w;; [The OwO CONSPIWATOWS dwaw ÚwÚ and OwO kiww ^-^ COWIOWANyUS,who ^w^ fawws. 
xDD AUFIDIUS >w< stands on >w< him] 
ÚwÚ WOWDS. UwU Howd, OwO howd, OwO howd, ;;w;; howd! 
AUFIDIUS. OwO My x3 nyobwe mastews, hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. x3 O Tuwwus! 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^.^ Thou x3 hast donye :3 a ^.^ deed ^.^ wheweat valour xDD wiww >_> weep. 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. Tread nyot ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. Mastews all, be ^.^ quiet; 
>_> Put x3 up x3 youw :3 swowds. 
AUFIDIUS. OwO My wowds, when xDD you UwU shaww UwU knyow- >_< as uWu in ÚwÚ this rage, 
Pwovok'd ^.^ by :3 him, xDD you cannot- x3 the great danger 
>_< Which ÚwÚ this :33 man's >w< wife uWu did >_> owe UwU you, you'ww rejoice 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is OwO thus :3 cut off. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw honyouws 
;;w;; To caww ;;w;; me to x3 youw >_< Senyate, I'll ÚwÚ dewivew 
xDD Mysewf x3 youw loyal uWu sewvant, ow OwO enduwe 
uWu Youw ;;w;; heaviest ÚwÚ censuwe. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ÚwÚ Beaw from >w< hence :33 his ;;w;; body, 
xDD And mouwn xDD you fow ^.^ him. Let ^.^ him be :3 wegawded 
;;w;; As x3 the UwU most x3 nyobwe cowse :3 that OwO evew >_> hewawd 
Did ;;w;; fowwow to :33 his um. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ÚwÚ His UwU own >_> impatience 
Takes from Aufidius :3 a great ÚwÚ pawt of blame. 
:3 Wet's >_< make x3 the best of :3 it. 
AUFIDIUS. OwO My xDD wage >_> is >w< gonye, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am >w< stwuck with ;;w;; sowwow. ^.^ Take ^.^ him :33 up. 
Hewp, >w< thwee ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ chiefest soldiers; I'll be onye. 
uWu Beat xDD thou x3 the dwum, :3 that >w< it speak OwO mouwnfuwwy; 
;;w;; Twaiw x3 youw steew >w< pikes. ;;w;; Though uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU city ^.^ he 
>_< Hath ÚwÚ widowed ÚwÚ and >w< unchiwded UwU many :3 a one, 
>_< Which to ÚwÚ this >_> houw bewail x3 the injuwy, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ he UwU shaww uWu have :3 a x3 nyobwe memory. 
OwO Assist. ^.^ Exeunt, :33 beawing x3 the >w< body of ^.^ COWIOWANyUS 
:3 [A >_< dead :33 mawch uWu sounded] 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





^w^ 1609 

CYMBELINE 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

CYMBELINE, ^w^ King of uWu Bwitain 
>w< CWOTEN, >_< son to x3 the xDD Queen ^.^ by :3 a xDD fowmew :33 husband 
POSTHUMUS x3 WEONyATUS, :3 a gentweman, :33 husband to Imogen 
xDD BEWAWIUS, :3 a banished uWu wowd, disguised :33 undew x3 the xDD nyame of :3 Mowgan 

^-^ GUIDEWIUS ÚwÚ and :3 AWVIWAGUS, xDD sons to Cymbeline, disguised :33 undew x3 the 
nyames of OwO POWYDOWE ÚwÚ and :3 CADWAW, ^.^ supposed xDD sons to Belarius 
^-^ PHIWAWIO, Itawian, :33 fwiend to >_< Posthumus 
^w^ IACHIMO, Itawian, :33 fwiend to ;;w;; Phiwawio 
^-^ A >_< FWENCH GENTLEMAN, :33 fwiend to ;;w;; Phiwawio 
>_> CAIUS LUCIUS, General of x3 the Roman >_< Fowces 
^-^ A WOMAN >w< CAPTAIN 
OwO TWO ;;w;; BWITISH uWu CAPTAINS 
OwO PISANyIO, xDD sewvant to >_< Posthumus 
^w^ COWNyEWIUS, :3 a ^.^ physician 
OwO TWO ;;w;; WOWDS of Cymbeline's court 
OwO TWO ^-^ GENTWEMEN of x3 the same 
OwO TWO GAOWEWS 

xDD QUEEN, >w< wife to :33 Cymbewinye 
x3 IMOGEN, daughter to :33 Cymbewinye ^.^ by :3 a xDD fowmew >_< queen 
x3 HEWEN, :3 a uWu wady :33 attending on Imogen 

APPARITIONS 

;;w;; Wowds, Ladies, Roman >_< Senyatows, Twibunyes, :3 a Soothsayer, :3 a 
Dutch Gentweman, :3 a OwO Spanyish Gentweman, Musicians, ^-^ Officews, 
UwU Captains, Soldiers, Messengews, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Attendants 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 




SCENE: 
Britain; Italy 



^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
;;w;; Bwitain. uWu The >_< gawden of CYMBEWINyE'S ^w^ pawace 

uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. >_> You UwU do nyot :3 meet :3 a x3 man >_> but ÚwÚ fwowns; UwU ouw xDD bwoods 
No ^.^ mowe UwU obey x3 the heavens than UwU ouw courtiers 
UwU Stiww xDD seem >_< as does x3 the ^.^ King's. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO But UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ÚwÚ His ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and x3 the heir >_> of's :33 kingdom, ÚwÚ whom 
>w< He ÚwÚ puwpos'd to :33 his ^w^ wife's sole >_< son- :3 a ^.^ widow 
:33 That wate ^.^ he married- hath UwU wefeww'd herself 
uWu Unto :3 a poor >_> but ÚwÚ wowthy :3 gentweman. >_> She's wedded; 
:3 Hew :33 husband ÚwÚ banyish'd; ^.^ she impwison'd. All 
Is :33 outwawd >_> sowwow, ^w^ though UwU I think x3 the ^w^ King 
^w^ Be touch'd uWu at xDD vewy ;;w;; heawt. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ Nyonye >_> but x3 the >_> King? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. >w< He :3 that hath wost her UwU too. ^w^ So >_> is x3 the :3 Queen, 
:33 That UwU most desir'd x3 the match. OwO But nyot :3 a couwtiew, 
Awthough ;;w;; they ^-^ weaw uWu theiw faces to x3 the UwU bent 
Of x3 the >_< King's looks, hath :3 a >_< heawt :3 that >_> is nyot 
:33 Gwad uWu at x3 the ^.^ thing ;;w;; they OwO scoww at. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. xDD And >w< why so? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. >w< He :3 that hath ;;w;; miss'd x3 the Pwincess >_> is :3 a ^.^ thing 
Too :33 bad fow :33 bad >w< wepowt; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :3 that hath xDD hew- 
UwU I >_> mean :3 that mawwied hew, awack, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; man! 
xDD And >_< thewefowe banish'd- >_> is :3 a creature xDD such 
As, to >_> seek ^w^ thwough x3 the regions of x3 the ^.^ eawth 
For one :33 his :3 wike, there ^.^ wouwd be ^-^ something :33 faiwing 
^w^ In ^.^ him :3 that >_> shouwd compare. UwU I UwU do nyot think 
^w^ So >w< faiw >w< an :33 outwawd ÚwÚ and xDD such ^w^ stuff within 
Endows :3 a x3 man >_> but he. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. >_> You speak ^.^ him far. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I UwU do :3 extend :3 him, ^w^ siw, within :33 himsewf; 
^-^ Cwush ^.^ him togethew rather than ^w^ unfowd 
ÚwÚ His UwU measuwe duly. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. x3 What's :33 his xDD nyame ÚwÚ and >_< biwth? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot x3 dewve ^.^ him to x3 the ^.^ woot; :33 his >w< fathew 
Was ^w^ caww'd >_> Siciwius, who uWu did ^w^ join :33 his honour 
^w^ Against x3 the Romans with OwO Cassibewan, 
OwO But xDD had :33 his titles ^.^ by x3 Tenyantius, ÚwÚ whom 
>w< He sewv'd with :3 gwowy ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ admiw'd uWu success, 
^w^ So x3 gain'd x3 the xDD suw-addition Weonyatus; 
xDD And :33 had, ;;w;; besides ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman uWu in ^.^ question, 
Two othew sons, who, uWu in x3 the UwU waws ^.^ o' x3 th' time, 
ÚwÚ Died with uWu theiw :33 swowds uWu in xDD hand; fow which uWu theiw ÚwÚ fathew, 
UwU Then ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and fond of ^w^ issue, >_> took xDD such sorrow 
:33 That ^.^ he ^.^ quit OwO being; ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ gentwe UwU wady, 
^w^ Big of ÚwÚ this gentweman, UwU ouw UwU theme, xDD deceas'd 
;;w;; As ^.^ he UwU was born. uWu The ^w^ King ^.^ he UwU takes x3 the >w< babe 
;;w;; To :33 his >_< pwotection, ;;w;; cawws ^.^ him >_< Posthumus ^w^ Weonyatus, 
:33 Bweeds ^.^ him ÚwÚ and x3 makes ^.^ him of :33 his :33 bed-chambew, 
Puts to ^.^ him aww x3 the >w< weawnyings :3 that :33 his time 
Could >_< make ^.^ him x3 the ;;w;; weceivew OwO of; which ^.^ he took, 
;;w;; As ^.^ we UwU do air, ÚwÚ fast >_< as uWu 'twas >_> minyist'wed, 
xDD And in's ^-^ spwing ÚwÚ became :3 a ^-^ hawvest, liv'd uWu in ^w^ couwt- 
>_< Which OwO wawe >w< it >_> is to xDD do- UwU most prais'd, UwU most ;;w;; wov'd, 
^-^ A >w< sampwe to x3 the UwU youngest; to x3 th' ^.^ mowe uWu matuwe 
^-^ A gwass :3 that :33 feated OwO them; ÚwÚ and to x3 the OwO gwavew 
^-^ A chiwd :3 that UwU guided dotawds. ;;w;; To :33 his ^-^ mistwess, 
For ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he nyow >_> is banish'd- her UwU own pwice 
Pwocwaims >w< how ^.^ she esteem'd ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU viwtue; 
^-^ By her UwU ewection OwO may be :33 twuwy ^w^ wead 
>_> What uWu kind of x3 man ^.^ he >w< is. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I honour ^.^ him 
Even x3 out of x3 youw report. OwO But pray xDD you tell uWu me, 
Is ^.^ she sole chiwd to x3 th' >_> King? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ÚwÚ His >w< onwy :33 chiwd. 
>w< He xDD had >w< two ^.^ sons- >_> if ÚwÚ this be ^.^ wowth x3 youw UwU heawing, 
>_> Mawk OwO it- x3 the eldest of them uWu at >w< thwee years :3 owd, 
xDD I' x3 th' OwO swathing x3 cwothes x3 the ÚwÚ othew, from uWu theiw OwO nyuwsewy 
^.^ Wewe UwU stow'n; ÚwÚ and to ÚwÚ this >_> houw nyo guess uWu in >_< knyowwedge 
>_< Which uWu way ;;w;; they ;;w;; went. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. How ^-^ wong >_> is ÚwÚ this ago? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ;;w;; Some ÚwÚ twenty years. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. :33 That :3 a >_< king's x3 chiwdwen >_> shouwd be UwU so >_< convey'd, 
^w^ So >_> swackwy >w< guawded, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ seawch UwU so slow 
:33 That couwd nyot trace >w< them! 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. xDD Howsoe'ew UwU 'tis >_> stwange, 
:33 Ow :3 that x3 the negligence OwO may weww be >_< waugh'd :3 at, 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> is >w< it ^-^ twue, sir. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I UwU do weww ^-^ bewieve OwO you. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. We ^w^ must >_< fowbeaw; OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the gentweman, 
uWu The :3 Queen, ÚwÚ and >_> Pwincess. Exeunt 

Entew x3 the xDD QUEEN, UwU POSTHUMUS, ÚwÚ and UwU IMOGEN 

QUEEN. :3 Nyo, be x3 assuw'd xDD you UwU shaww nyot find uWu me, ^w^ daughtew, 
>w< Aftew x3 the ^-^ swandew of UwU most ÚwÚ stepmothews, 
uWu Eviw-ey'd >w< unto OwO you. uWu You'we x3 my pwisonyew, >_> but 
uWu Youw gaowew UwU shaww ÚwÚ dewivew xDD you x3 the ;;w;; keys 
:33 That OwO wock x3 up x3 youw westwaint. For UwU you, >_> Posthumus, 
^w^ So >w< soon >_< as UwU I ^.^ can x3 win x3 th' uWu offended OwO King, 
UwU I xDD wiww be ÚwÚ knyown x3 youw UwU advocate. OwO Mawwy, yet 
uWu The fire of xDD wage >_> is uWu in :3 him, ÚwÚ and >w< 'twewe ÚwÚ good 
>_> You lean'd >w< unto :33 his :33 sentence with >_> what uWu patience 
uWu Youw ^.^ wisdom OwO may infowm OwO you. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ÚwÚ Pwease x3 youw >w< Highnyess, 
UwU I xDD wiww from >w< hence ^w^ to-day. 
QUEEN. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the ÚwÚ pewiw. 
I'll :3 fetch :3 a turn about x3 the gawden, :3 pitying 
uWu The x3 pangs of baww'd >_> affections, ^w^ though x3 the ^w^ King 
>_< Hath :3 chawg'd xDD you >_> shouwd nyot speak together. uWu Exit 
UwU IMOGEN. x3 O dissembling ^w^ couwtesy! How OwO finye ÚwÚ this tyrant 
UwU Can tickwe :3 whewe ^.^ she >_< wounds! OwO My deawest ^.^ husband, 
UwU I ^-^ something feaw x3 my father's :33 wwath, >_> but >_< nyothing- 
Always reserv'd x3 my >w< howy duty- >_> what 
ÚwÚ His xDD wage ^.^ can UwU do on x3 me. >_> You ^w^ must be xDD gonye; 
xDD And UwU I UwU shaww OwO hewe abide x3 the hourly UwU shot 
Of angry ^w^ eyes, nyot comforted to ^w^ wive 
OwO But :3 that there >_> is ÚwÚ this jewel uWu in x3 the wowwd 
:33 That UwU I OwO may >_> see ;;w;; again. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. OwO My ^.^ queen! x3 my mistwess! 
x3 O UwU wady, xDD weep nyo >_> mowe, xDD west UwU I UwU give cause 
;;w;; To be >w< suspected of ^.^ mowe :33 tendewnyess 
Than xDD doth :33 become :3 a man. UwU I xDD wiww wemain 
uWu The :33 woyaw'st :33 husband :3 that uWu did ;;w;; e'ew plight >_> twoth; 
OwO My residence uWu in ÚwÚ Wome uWu at one Phiwawio's, 
Who to x3 my >w< fathew UwU was :3 a fwiend, to ;;w;; me 
Known >_> but ^.^ by wettew; uWu thithew wwite, x3 my queen, 
xDD And with >_< minye eyes I'll ÚwÚ dwink x3 the wowds xDD you send, 
;;w;; Though ink be UwU made of xDD gaww. 

^.^ We-entew >w< QUEEN 

QUEEN. ^w^ Be ^-^ bwief, UwU I pray OwO you. 
;;w;; If x3 the ^w^ King come, UwU I UwU shaww :3 incuw UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot 
How much of :33 his dispweasuwe. :3 [Aside] ÚwÚ Yet I'll move ^.^ him 
;;w;; To UwU wawk ÚwÚ this >_> way. UwU I >_< nyevew UwU do ^.^ him wrong 
OwO But ^.^ he does UwU buy x3 my >_> injuwies, to be >_< fwiends; 
UwU Pays uWu deaw fow x3 my xDD offences. uWu Exit 
:3 POSTHUMUS. Should ^.^ we be :3 taking OwO weave 
;;w;; As ^-^ wong :3 a term >_< as yet ^.^ we uWu have to x3 wive, 
uWu The loathness to ÚwÚ depawt ^.^ wouwd ^w^ gwow. ÚwÚ Adieu! 
UwU IMOGEN. Nyay, xDD stay :3 a ^.^ wittwe. 
^.^ Wewe xDD you >_> but riding fowth to ^w^ aiw yourself, 
>w< Such >w< pawting :3 wewe ^w^ too x3 petty. Wook UwU hewe, love: 
This >_> diamond UwU was x3 my >_< mothew's; OwO take :33 it, heawt; 
OwO But >_< keep >w< it >w< tiww xDD you ^.^ woo anyothew :3 wife, 
x3 When Imogen >_> is uWu dead. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. How, ÚwÚ how? Anyothew? 
>_> You ^-^ gentwe uWu gods, UwU give ;;w;; me >_> but ÚwÚ this UwU I have, 
xDD And UwU seaw x3 up x3 my :33 embwacements from :3 a :3 nyext 
With xDD bonds of ;;w;; death! xDD Wemain, wemain xDD thou OwO hewe 
;;w;; [Puts on x3 the :3 wing] 
While sense ^.^ can >_< keep >w< it :3 on. ^.^ And, xDD sweetest, uWu faiwest, 
;;w;; As UwU I x3 my poor self uWu did :3 exchange fow UwU you, 
;;w;; To x3 youw UwU so :3 infinyite woss, UwU so uWu in UwU ouw twifwes 
UwU I still x3 win of OwO you. For x3 my ÚwÚ sake ^-^ weaw >_< this; 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a ;;w;; manyacwe of love; I'll :33 pwace >w< it 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this >_> faiwest ^w^ pwisonyew. ;;w;; [Puts :3 a ÚwÚ bwacewet on her awm] 
UwU IMOGEN. x3 O x3 the ^-^ gods! 
x3 When UwU shaww ^.^ we >_> see ^w^ again? 

Entew CYMBELINE ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 

:3 POSTHUMUS. xDD Awack, x3 the King! 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^.^ Thou ^w^ basest ÚwÚ thing, avoid; >w< hence from x3 my ^.^ sight 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ aftew ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ command xDD thou ;;w;; fwaught x3 the court 
With >w< thy unwowthinyess, xDD thou :33 diest. >_> Away! 
^w^ Thou'wt x3 poison to x3 my blood. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. uWu The gods x3 pwotect UwU you, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwess x3 the ÚwÚ good >_< wemaindews of x3 the court! 
UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; gonye. uWu Exit 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> Thewe ;;w;; cannyot be :3 a pinch uWu in :33 death 
uWu Mowe ^-^ shawp than ÚwÚ this >w< is. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. x3 O :3 diswoyaw ÚwÚ thing, 
:33 That shouwdst repair x3 my youth, xDD thou heap'st 
^-^ A >_> yeaw's age on me! 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
Harm nyot >_> youwsewf with x3 youw ;;w;; vexation. 
UwU I ^w^ am senseless of x3 youw wwath; :3 a :33 touch ^.^ mowe OwO wawe 
^w^ Subdues aww pangs, aww fears. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^w^ Past UwU gwace? :3 obedience? 
UwU IMOGEN. ^w^ Past hope, ÚwÚ and uWu in UwU despaiw; :3 that uWu way x3 past grace. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. :33 That ÚwÚ mightst uWu have xDD had x3 the sole >_< son of x3 my ^.^ queen! 
UwU IMOGEN. x3 O blessed :3 that UwU I ^w^ might ^w^ nyot! UwU I ^-^ chose >w< an :33 eagwe, 
xDD And uWu did avoid :3 a ÚwÚ puttock. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^.^ Thou took'st :3 a beggar, wouldst uWu have UwU made x3 my >_< thwonye 
^-^ A uWu seat fow basenyess. 
UwU IMOGEN. No; UwU I rather >_< added 
^-^ A UwU wustwe to :3 it. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. x3 O xDD thou ^-^ viwe one! 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU Siw, 
^.^ It >_> is x3 youw ;;w;; fauwt :3 that UwU I uWu have :3 wov'd ^-^ Posthumus. 
>_> You bwed ^.^ him >_< as x3 my playfellow, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is 
^-^ A x3 man ^.^ wowth xDD any >_< woman; uvwbuys ;;w;; me 
Awmost x3 the >w< sum ^.^ he pays. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. What, awt xDD thou uWu mad? 
UwU IMOGEN. x3 Awmost, sir. uWu Heaven restore me! Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe 
^-^ A ^-^ nyeat-hewd's ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ Weonyatus 
Our OwO nyeighbouw shepherd's ^w^ son! 

^.^ We-entew >w< QUEEN 

;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^.^ Thou >_< foowish x3 thing! 
:33 [To x3 the xDD QUEEN] ^-^ They :3 wewe again together. >_> You uWu have donye 
ÚwÚ Nyot ÚwÚ aftew UwU ouw >_> command. UwU Away with hew, 
xDD And OwO pen her :33 up. 
QUEEN. Beseech x3 youw ^w^ patience.- uWu Peace, 
>_< Deaw uWu wady ^w^ daughtew, *giggles shyly* peace!- ÚwÚ Sweet sovereign, 
Weave >_> us to ;;w;; ouwsewves, ÚwÚ and >_< make >_> youwsewf x3 some uWu comfowt 
UwU Out of x3 youw best xDD advice. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Nyay, wet her wanguish 
^-^ A >_< dwop of :3 bwood :3 a day x3 and, ^.^ being aged, 
:33 Die of ÚwÚ this ^w^ fowwy. UwU Exit, with ;;w;; WOWDS 

Entew :3 PISANyIO 

QUEEN. uWu Fie! xDD you ^w^ must UwU give >_> way. 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 youw servant. How now, sir! >_> What nyews? 
PISANIO. OwO My ;;w;; wowd x3 youw >_< son >w< dwew on x3 my master. 
QUEEN. uWu Ha! 
No >w< hawm, UwU I ^w^ twust, >_> is done? 
PISANIO. >_> Thewe ^w^ might uWu have ^-^ been, 
OwO But :3 that x3 my >_< mastew rather pway'd than :33 fought, 
xDD And xDD had nyo OwO hewp of >_> angew; ;;w;; they :3 wewe pawted 
^-^ By gentlemen uWu at >w< hand. 
QUEEN. UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy uWu gwad ^.^ on't. 
UwU IMOGEN. uWu Youw ÚwÚ son's x3 my father's fwiend; ^.^ he UwU takes :33 his ÚwÚ pawt 
;;w;; To dwaw ;;w;; upon >w< an ;;w;; exiwe! x3 O >_< bwave sir! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they :3 wewe uWu in UwU Afwic both together; 
xDD Mysewf ^.^ by with :3 a nyeedwe, :3 that UwU I ^w^ might uWu pwick 
uWu The goew-back. Why ^-^ came xDD you from x3 youw ÚwÚ mastew? 
PISANIO. On :33 his >_> command. >w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot suffew ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to x3 the ;;w;; haven; left these >_> nyotes 
Of >_> what ;;w;; commands UwU I >_> shouwd be x3 subject ^.^ to, 
^w^ When't pleas'd xDD you to :33 empwoy x3 me. 
QUEEN. This hath :33 been 
uWu Youw faithfuw servant. UwU I dawe uWu way >_< minye honour 
>w< He xDD wiww wemain :3 so. 
PISANIO. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. 
QUEEN. >_> Pway UwU wawk OwO awhiwe. 
UwU IMOGEN. About x3 some half-hour hence, 
>_> Pway xDD you speak with x3 me. >_> You UwU shaww uWu at least 
Go >_> see x3 my ;;w;; wowd UwU aboawd. For ÚwÚ this time OwO weave x3 me. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
;;w;; Bwitain. ^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew CLOTEN ÚwÚ and >w< two ;;w;; WOWDS 

uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU Siw, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; advise xDD you to OwO shift :3 a shiwt; x3 the x3 viowence 
of uWu action hath UwU made xDD you >_< week >_< as :3 a ÚwÚ sacwifice. Whewe ^w^ aiw x3 comes ^.^ out, 
^w^ aiw x3 comes UwU in; there's >_< nyonye ^.^ abwoad UwU so whowesome >_< as :3 that xDD you ^w^ vent. 
xDD CWOTEN. ;;w;; If x3 my shirt :3 wewe x3 bwoody, xDD then to OwO shift :3 it. :3 Have UwU I ÚwÚ huwt him? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] :3 Nyo, xDD faith; nyot UwU so much >_< as :33 his OwO patience. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Huwt x3 him! ÚwÚ His body's :3 a x3 passabwe ^.^ cawcass >_> if ^.^ he be nyot 
x3 huwt. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a thwoughfawe fow steew >_> if >w< it be nyot x3 huwt. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] ÚwÚ His steew UwU was uWu in ;;w;; debt; >w< it OwO went ^.^ o' x3 th' back 
x3 side x3 the xDD town. 
xDD CWOTEN. uWu The viwwain ^.^ wouwd nyot stand x3 me. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] No; >_> but ^.^ he ^w^ fwed forward still, toward x3 youw 
;;w;; face. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ;;w;; Stand you? >_> You uWu have ÚwÚ wand enough of x3 youw >_> own; >_> but ^.^ he 
>_< added to x3 youw x3 having, uWu gave xDD you x3 some :33 gwound. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; As UwU many :33 inches >_< as xDD you uWu have OwO oceans. 
>w< Puppies! 
xDD CWOTEN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they xDD had nyot come ^-^ between >_> us. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] ^w^ So ^.^ wouwd I, >w< tiww xDD you xDD had UwU measuw'd >w< how ^-^ wong :3 a 
>w< foow xDD you :3 wewe ;;w;; upon x3 the :33 gwound. 
xDD CWOTEN. xDD And :3 that ^.^ she >_> shouwd wuv ÚwÚ this fewwow, ÚwÚ and refuse me! 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; If >w< it be :3 a x3 sin to >_< make :3 a true ^w^ ewection, ^.^ she >_> is 
^w^ damn'd. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU Siw, >_< as UwU I told xDD you awways, her beauty ÚwÚ and her :3 bwain OwO go 
nyot together; ^w^ she's :3 a ÚwÚ good ^w^ sign, >_> but UwU I uWu have :3 seen UwU smaww wefwection 
of her >_< wit. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] :33 She uWu shinyes nyot ;;w;; upon :3 foows, xDD west x3 the wefwection 
>_> shouwd ÚwÚ huwt her. 
xDD CWOTEN. ^.^ Come, I'll to x3 my ^.^ chambew. Wouwd there xDD had :33 been x3 some ÚwÚ huwt 
uWu donye! 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] UwU I ÚwÚ wish nyot so; ^w^ unwess >w< it xDD had :33 been x3 the faww of 
>w< an ass, which >_> is nyo great x3 huwt. 
xDD CWOTEN. You'll OwO go with us? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. I'll >_< attend x3 youw wowdship. 
xDD CWOTEN. Nyay, come, >_> wet's OwO go together. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. xDD Weww, x3 my OwO wowd. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
;;w;; Bwitain. CYMBEWINyE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew UwU IMOGEN ÚwÚ and :3 PISANyIO 

UwU IMOGEN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou gwew'st >w< unto x3 the uWu showes ^.^ o' x3 th' :3 haven, 
xDD And uWu questionyed'st every sail; >_> if ^.^ he >_> shouwd wwite, 
xDD And UwU I nyot uWu have :33 it, >w< 'twewe :3 a paper :3 wost, 
;;w;; As >_< offew'd xDD mewcy >w< is. >_> What UwU was x3 the >w< wast 
:33 That ^.^ he x3 spake to thee? 
PISANIO. ^.^ It ^-^ was: :33 his queen, :33 his ^.^ queen! 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU Then :3 wav'd :33 his >w< handkewchief? 
PISANIO. xDD And >w< kiss'd :33 it, UwU madam. 
UwU IMOGEN. Senseless winyen, uWu happiew thewein than >_< I! 
xDD And :3 that UwU was ÚwÚ aww? 
PISANIO. :3 Nyo, x3 madam; fow UwU so ^-^ wong 
;;w;; As ^.^ he couwd >_< make ;;w;; me with :33 his >_< eye, ow :3 cawe 
;;w;; Distinguish ^.^ him from ^w^ othews, ^.^ he uWu did >_< keep 
uWu The ^w^ deck, with glove, ow hat, ow handkerchief, 
UwU Stiww xDD waving, >_< as x3 the ^w^ fits ÚwÚ and stiws >_> of's ^-^ mind 
Could best express >w< how slow :33 his :3 souw saiw'd ;;w;; on, 
How UwU swift :33 his ship. 
UwU IMOGEN. ^.^ Thou shouwdst uWu have UwU made ^.^ him 
;;w;; As xDD wittwe >_< as :3 a crow, ow UwU wess, ere left 
;;w;; To after-eye ^.^ him. 
PISANIO. uWu Madam, UwU so UwU I ^.^ did. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have broke >_< minye ^.^ eyestwings, >_< cwack'd them >_> but 
;;w;; To wook ;;w;; upon :3 him, >w< tiww x3 the diminution 
Of xDD space xDD had :3 pointed ^.^ him ^-^ shawp >_< as x3 my OwO nyeedwe; 
Nyay, fowwowed ^.^ him >w< tiww ^.^ he xDD had mewted from 
uWu The :33 smawwnyess of :3 a gnyat to air, ÚwÚ and xDD then 
:3 Have >_> tuwn'd >_< minye ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and xDD wept. But, ÚwÚ good Pisanio, 
x3 When UwU shaww ^.^ we hear from him? 
PISANIO. ^w^ Be UwU assuw'd, UwU madam, 
With :33 his :3 nyext vantage. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I uWu did nyot OwO take x3 my OwO weave of :3 him, >_> but xDD had 
:3 Most OwO pwetty ^.^ things to :3 say. Ere UwU I couwd tell ^.^ him 
How UwU I ^.^ wouwd think on ^.^ him uWu at xDD cewtain >_> houws 
>w< Such >_< thoughts ÚwÚ and such; ow UwU I couwd >_< make ^.^ him >_< sweaw 
uWu The >_< shes of Italy >_> shouwd nyot ÚwÚ betway 
Mine ÚwÚ intewest ÚwÚ and :33 his honour; ow uWu have :3 chawg'd :3 him, 
At x3 the uWu sixth >_> houw of ^-^ mown, uWu at noon, uWu at midnight, 
;;w;; T' x3 encountew ;;w;; me with ÚwÚ owisons, fow xDD then 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu in heaven fow him; ow ere UwU I couwd 
Give ^.^ him :3 that >w< pawting :3 kiss which UwU I xDD had uWu set 
Betwixt >w< two OwO chawming wowds, x3 comes uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
xDD And ^.^ wike x3 the tywannyous :33 bweathing of x3 the ^.^ nyowth 
OwO Shakes aww UwU ouw ^-^ buds from gwowing. 

Entew :3 a :3 WADY 

WADY. uWu The :3 Queen, UwU madam, 
Desires x3 youw Highness' UwU company. 
UwU IMOGEN. >w< Those ^.^ things UwU I bid xDD you UwU do, get them x3 dispatch'd. 
UwU I xDD wiww >_< attend x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. 
PISANIO. uWu Madam, UwU I >_< shaww. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
xDD Wome. PHILARIO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ^-^ PHIWAWIO, ^w^ IACHIMO, :3 a OwO FWENCHMAN, :3 a ^-^ DUTCHMAN, ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ SPANyIAWD 

IACHIMO. :3 Bewieve :33 it, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu have :3 seen ^.^ him uWu in ;;w;; Bwitain. >w< He UwU was xDD then 
of :3 a UwU cwescent :3 nyote, ^.^ expected to ^-^ pwuv UwU so ÚwÚ wowthy >_< as xDD since ^.^ he hath 
:33 been UwU awwowed x3 the xDD nyame uWu of. OwO But UwU I couwd xDD then uWu have >_> wook'd on ^.^ him 
^-^ without x3 the OwO hewp of admiration, ^w^ though x3 the ^-^ catawogue of :33 his 
:33 endowments xDD had :33 been xDD tabwed ^.^ by :33 his side, ÚwÚ and UwU I to OwO pewuse ^.^ him ^.^ by 
xDD items. 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. >_> You speak of ^.^ him when ^.^ he UwU was less OwO fuwnyish'd than nyow ^.^ he 
>_> is with :3 that which x3 makes ^.^ him both ^-^ without ÚwÚ and x3 within. 
>_> FWENCHMAN. UwU I uWu have :3 seen ^.^ him uWu in Fwance; ^.^ we xDD had xDD vewy UwU many there couwd 
behowd x3 the sun with >_< as >w< fiwm eyes >_< as he. 
IACHIMO. This ;;w;; mattew of OwO mawwying :33 his >_< king's ^w^ daughtew, wherein ^.^ he 
^w^ must be xDD weighed rather ^.^ by her value than :33 his OwO own, wowds :3 him, UwU I 
doubt >_> nyot, :3 a great deal from x3 the :3 mattew. 
>_> FWENCHMAN. xDD And xDD then :33 his >_> banyishment. 
IACHIMO. Ay, ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 appwobation of UwU those :3 that xDD weep ÚwÚ this lamentable 
:3 divowce :33 undew her cowouws OwO awe >_> wondewfuwwy to :3 extend :3 him, be >w< it 
>_> but to fortify her ^.^ judgment, which >_> ewse >w< an ^w^ easy ^-^ battewy ^w^ might uWu way 
flat, fow :3 taking :3 a beggar, ^-^ without less ÚwÚ quawity. OwO But >w< how x3 comes >w< it 
^.^ he >_> is to ;;w;; sojouwn with you? How :3 cweeps :33 acquaintance? 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. ÚwÚ His >w< fathew ÚwÚ and UwU I :3 wewe ^-^ sowdiews together, to ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu have 
:33 been often bound fow nyo less than x3 my life. 

Entew POSTHUMUS 

:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the ^-^ Bwiton. Let ^.^ him be UwU so ^-^ entewtainyed amongst xDD you >_< as 
^w^ suits with gentlemen of x3 youw x3 knyowing to :3 a stwangew of :33 his 
ÚwÚ quawity. UwU I :33 beseech xDD you aww be xDD bettew ÚwÚ knyown to ÚwÚ this gentweman, 
ÚwÚ whom UwU I ÚwÚ commend to xDD you >_< as :3 a x3 nyobwe :33 fwiend of ^w^ minye. How ÚwÚ wowthy ^.^ he >_> is 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO weave to appeaw heweaftew, rather than ^-^ stowy ^.^ him uWu in :33 his 
UwU own ;;w;; heawing. 
>_> FWENCHMAN. UwU Siw, ^.^ we uWu have ÚwÚ knyown togethew uWu in >_> Owweans. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. Since when UwU I uWu have :33 been ÚwÚ debtow to xDD you fow ÚwÚ couwtesies, 
which UwU I xDD wiww be OwO evew to x3 pay ÚwÚ and yet x3 pay xDD stiww. 
>_> FWENCHMAN. UwU Siw, xDD you ^-^ o'ewwate x3 my poor kindness. UwU I UwU was uWu gwad UwU I uWu did 
OwO atonye x3 my countwyman ÚwÚ and uWu you; >w< it xDD had :33 been pity xDD you >_> shouwd uWu have 
:33 been put togethew with UwU so >w< mowtaw :3 a OwO puwpose >_< as xDD then >_< each :3 bowe, 
;;w;; upon ;;w;; impowtance of UwU so :3 swight ÚwÚ and OwO twiviaw :3 a :33 nyatuwe. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^-^ By x3 youw pardon, sir. UwU I UwU was xDD then :3 a xDD young traveller; 
rather ;;w;; shunn'd to OwO go even with >_> what UwU I heard than uWu in x3 my every 
uWu action to be UwU guided ^.^ by OwO othews' >w< expewiences; >_> but ;;w;; upon x3 my mended 
judgment- >_> if UwU I ^-^ offend nyot to >_> say >w< it >_> is mended- x3 my ^-^ quawwew UwU was nyot 
;;w;; awtogethew :3 swight. 
>_> FWENCHMAN. Faith, :3 yes, to be put to x3 the ^-^ awbitwement of swowds, ÚwÚ and 
^.^ by xDD such >w< two :3 that ^.^ wouwd ^.^ by aww likelihood uWu have confounded one x3 the 
othew ow uWu have fall'n xDD both. 
IACHIMO. UwU Can :33 we, with :3 mannyews, ^w^ ask >_> what UwU was x3 the ;;w;; diffewence? 
>_> FWENCHMAN. ÚwÚ Safewy, UwU I UwU think. >_< 'Twas :3 a ;;w;; contention uWu in xDD pubwic, which 
may, ^-^ without contradiction, suffew x3 the report. ^.^ It UwU was much ^.^ wike 
>w< an :33 awgument :3 that UwU feww x3 out >w< wast night, :3 whewe >_< each of >_> us UwU feww uWu in 
praise of UwU ouw countwy ^.^ mistwesses; ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman uWu at :3 that time 
vouching- ÚwÚ and ;;w;; upon :33 wawwant of bwoody ^.^ affiwmation- :33 his to be ^.^ mowe 
faiw, virtuous, >_< wise, chaste, constant, :33 quawified, ÚwÚ and less 
uWu attemptabwe, than xDD any x3 the ^.^ wawest of UwU ouw ^.^ wadies uWu in Fwance. 
IACHIMO. :33 That uWu wady >_> is nyot nyow >w< wiving, ow ÚwÚ this uWu gentweman's :33 opinyion, 
^.^ by uWu this, wown OwO out. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. :33 She ÚwÚ howds her viwtue still, ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 my :33 mind. 
IACHIMO. >_> You ^w^ must nyot UwU so uWu faw prefer her fore ouws of Italy. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. uWu Being UwU so uWu faw ^.^ pwovok'd >_< as UwU I UwU was uWu in >_< Fwance, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^-^ abate 
her uWu nyothing, ^w^ though UwU I pwofess mysewf her adorer, nyot her :3 fwiend. 
IACHIMO. ;;w;; As >w< faiw ÚwÚ and >_< as x3 good- :3 a uWu kind of hand-in-hand comparison- 
xDD had :33 been ^-^ something ^w^ too >w< faiw ÚwÚ and ^w^ too ÚwÚ good fow xDD any uWu wady uWu in ;;w;; Bwitain. 
;;w;; If ^.^ she OwO went >w< befowe ;;w;; othews UwU I uWu have :3 seen >_< as :3 that >_> diamond of >_> youws 
^-^ outwustwes UwU many UwU I uWu have uWu behewd, UwU I couwd nyot >_> but ^-^ bewieve ^.^ she 
xDD excewwed UwU many; >_> but UwU I uWu have nyot :3 seen x3 the UwU most >_< pwecious >_> diamond :3 that 
;;w;; is, nor xDD you x3 the >_> wady. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU I UwU pwais'd her >_< as UwU I :33 wated her. ^w^ So UwU do UwU I x3 my uWu stonye. 
IACHIMO. >_> What UwU do xDD you >_> esteem >w< it at? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. uWu Mowe than x3 the wowwd :3 enjoys. 
IACHIMO. ^-^ Eithew x3 youw UwU unpawagon'd mistwess >_> is >_< dead, ow ^w^ she's 
outpriz'd ^.^ by :3 a x3 twifwe. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. >_> You OwO awe xDD mistaken: x3 the one OwO may be sold ow ^w^ given, >_> if there 
:3 wewe weawth enough fow x3 the puwchase ow merit fow x3 the uWu gift; x3 the 
othew >_> is nyot :3 a ^.^ thing fow UwU sawe, ÚwÚ and >w< onwy x3 the ^w^ gift of x3 the gods. 
IACHIMO. >_< Which x3 the gods uWu have UwU given you? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. >_< Which ^.^ by uWu theiw uWu gwaces UwU I xDD wiww keep. 
IACHIMO. >_> You OwO may ^-^ weaw her uWu in ;;w;; titwe OwO youws; >_> but xDD you ^.^ knyow ;;w;; stwange fowl 
>w< wight ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ nyeighbouwing ponds. uWu Youw OwO wing OwO may be :3 stow'n UwU too. ^w^ So 
x3 youw ;;w;; bwace of :33 unpwizabwe uWu estimations, x3 the one >_> is >_> but frail ÚwÚ and 
x3 the othew casual; :3 a x3 cunnying :33 thief, ow :3 a that-way-accompwish'd 
couwtiew, ^.^ wouwd >_< hazawd x3 the winnying both of xDD fiwst ÚwÚ and last. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. uWu Youw Italy x3 contains >_< nyonye UwU so ;;w;; accompwish'd :3 a couwtiew to 
convince x3 the honour of x3 my ^-^ mistwess, >_> if uWu in x3 the uWu howding ow ^-^ woss of 
:3 that xDD you term her frail. UwU I UwU do >_< nyothing doubt xDD you uWu have OwO stowe of 
ÚwÚ thieves; >w< nyotwithstanding, UwU I feaw nyot x3 my wing. 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. Let >_> us OwO weave UwU hewe, >_< gentwemen. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU Siw, with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. This ÚwÚ wowthy signior, UwU I >_> thank 
:3 him, x3 makes nyo stwangew of OwO me; ^.^ we OwO awe ^.^ famiwiaw uWu at fiwst. 
IACHIMO. With five times UwU so much ^w^ convewsation UwU I >_> shouwd get x3 gwound 
of x3 youw >w< faiw mistress; >_< make her OwO go back even to x3 the yielding, xDD had 
UwU I ÚwÚ admittance ÚwÚ and x3 oppowtunyity to :3 fwiend. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. :3 Nyo, >w< nyo. 
IACHIMO. UwU I dawe thereupon ^.^ pawn x3 the >_> moiety of x3 my estate to x3 youw 
*hugs tightly* wing, ^w^ which, uWu in x3 my :33 opinyion, o'ervalues >w< it OwO something. OwO But UwU I >_< make 
x3 my wagew rather OwO against x3 youw :3 confidence than her ÚwÚ weputation; x3 and, 
to ^-^ baw x3 youw offence >w< hewein :3 too, UwU I x3 duwst x3 attempt >w< it OwO against xDD any 
uWu wady uWu in x3 the wowwd. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. >_> You OwO awe :3 a great deal UwU abus'd uWu in ^w^ too bold :3 a persuasion, 
ÚwÚ and UwU I doubt nyot xDD you >_< sustain >_> what ;;w;; y'awe ÚwÚ wowthy of ^.^ by x3 youw attempt. 
IACHIMO. x3 What's ^-^ that? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^-^ A xDD wepuwse; ^w^ though x3 youw attempt, >_< as xDD you caww :33 it, OwO desewve 
more- :3 a UwU punyishment UwU too. 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, enough of UwU this. ^.^ It ^-^ came uWu in ^w^ too uWu suddenwy; wet 
>w< it ^-^ die >_< as >w< it UwU was born, ÚwÚ and UwU I pray xDD you be xDD bettew acquainted. 
IACHIMO. Wouwd UwU I xDD had put x3 my estate ÚwÚ and x3 my OwO nyeighbouw's on x3 th' 
:33 appwobation of >_> what UwU I uWu have spoke! 
:3 POSTHUMUS. >_> What uWu wady ^.^ wouwd xDD you choose to OwO assaiw? 
IACHIMO. OwO Youws, ÚwÚ whom uWu in >_> constancy xDD you think >w< stands UwU so ^w^ safe. UwU I xDD wiww 
uWu way xDD you ;;w;; ten thousand ;;w;; ducats to x3 youw OwO wing :3 that, ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to x3 the 
court :3 whewe x3 youw uWu wady ;;w;; is, with nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ advantage than x3 the 
x3 oppowtunyity of :3 a second ÚwÚ confewence, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing from thence 
:3 that honour of hews which xDD you imagine UwU so wesewv'd. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU I xDD wiww xDD wage OwO against x3 youw ^.^ gowd, gowd to :3 it. OwO My OwO wing UwU I 
howd uWu deaw >_< as x3 my >_> fingew; UwU 'tis ÚwÚ pawt of :3 it. 
IACHIMO. >_> You OwO awe :3 a fwiend, ÚwÚ and thewein x3 the wiser. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU buy 
;;w;; wadies' >w< fwesh uWu at :3 a miwwion :3 a OwO dwam, xDD you ;;w;; cannyot pwesewve >w< it from 
^w^ tainting. OwO But UwU I >_> see xDD you uWu have x3 some :33 wewigion uWu in UwU you, :3 that xDD you ;;w;; feaw. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. This >_> is >_> but :3 a ;;w;; custom uWu in x3 youw tongue; xDD you UwU beaw :3 a OwO gwavew 
xDD puwpose, UwU I ^-^ hope. 
IACHIMO. UwU I ^w^ am x3 the >_< mastew of x3 my speeches, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd ^w^ undewgo UwU what's 
spoken, UwU I OwO sweaw. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. Will you? UwU I Shall >_> but xDD wend x3 my >_> diamond >w< tiww x3 youw wetuwn. 
Let there be covenants drawn UwU between's. OwO My mistwess exceeds uWu in 
xDD goodnyess x3 the hugenyess of x3 youw >_< unwowthy ÚwÚ thinking. UwU I dawe xDD you to 
ÚwÚ this ^-^ match: hewe's x3 my wing. 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. UwU I xDD wiww uWu have >w< it nyo lay. 
IACHIMO. ^-^ By x3 the uWu gods, >w< it >_> is onye. ;;w;; If UwU I ;;w;; bwing xDD you nyo sufficient 
testimony :3 that UwU I uWu have x3 enjoy'd x3 the deawest OwO bodiwy ÚwÚ pawt of x3 youw 
^-^ mistwess, x3 my ;;w;; ten thousand ;;w;; ducats OwO awe OwO youws; UwU so >_> is x3 youw >_> diamond 
UwU too. ;;w;; If UwU I come ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and OwO weave her uWu in xDD such honour >_< as xDD you uWu have 
:33 twust x3 in, ^.^ she x3 youw ;;w;; jewew, ÚwÚ this x3 youw ;;w;; jewew, ÚwÚ and x3 my gowd OwO awe OwO youws- 
x3 pwovided UwU I uWu have x3 youw ÚwÚ commendation fow x3 my ^.^ mowe fwee >w< entewtainment. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU I >_< embwace these :3 conditions; wet >_> us uWu have articles betwixt 
>_> us. >w< Onwy, OwO thus uWu faw xDD you UwU shaww :33 answew: >_> if xDD you >_< make x3 youw ^w^ voyage ;;w;; upon 
hew, ÚwÚ and UwU give ;;w;; me xDD diwectwy to understand xDD you uWu have uWu pwevaiw'd, UwU I ^w^ am 
nyo further x3 youw enemy- ^.^ she >_> is nyot ^.^ wowth UwU ouw ÚwÚ debate; >_> if ^.^ she wemain 
unseduc'd, xDD you nyot x3 making >w< it appeaw :33 othewwise, fow x3 youw :33 iww 
opinyion ÚwÚ and x3 th' OwO assauwt xDD you uWu have UwU made to her ÚwÚ chastity xDD you UwU shaww 
answew ;;w;; me with x3 youw ^-^ swowd. 
IACHIMO. uWu Youw :33 hand- :3 a cuvnyant! We xDD wiww uWu have these ^.^ things uWu set down 
^.^ by ÚwÚ wawfuw counsew, ÚwÚ and ^w^ stwaight OwO away fow ^-^ Bwitain, xDD west x3 the 
^w^ bawgain >_> shouwd catch UwU cowd ÚwÚ and >w< stawve. UwU I xDD wiww :3 fetch x3 my gowd ÚwÚ and 
uWu have UwU ouw >w< two wagers wecowded. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. OwO Agweed. Exeunt POSTHUMUS ÚwÚ and uWu IACHIMO 
>_> FWENCHMAN. Will ÚwÚ this OwO howd, think you? 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. :33 Signyiow OwO Iachimo xDD wiww nyot from :3 it. >_> Pway wet >_> us ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ 'em. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
;;w;; Bwitain. CYMBEWINyE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew xDD QUEEN, >w< WADIES, ÚwÚ and CORNELIUS 

QUEEN. Whiwes yet x3 the UwU dew's on ground, gathew UwU those >_> fwowews; 
^-^ Make haste; who >_> has x3 the ^-^ nyote of them? 
WADY. I, UwU madam. 
QUEEN. Dispatch. Exeunt :3 WADIES 
>_> Nyow, >_< Mastew ÚwÚ Doctow, uWu have xDD you ^.^ bwought UwU those ^.^ dwugs? 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. >w< Pweaseth x3 youw >w< Highnyess, ^w^ ay. :3 Hewe ;;w;; they awe, UwU madam. 
x3 [Pwesenting :3 a :3 box] 
OwO But UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw >_> Gwace, ^-^ without UwU offence- 
OwO My >_> conscience UwU bids ;;w;; me ask- ^-^ whewefowe xDD you uWu have 
x3 Commanded of ;;w;; me these UwU most OwO poisonyous uWu compounds 
>_< Which OwO awe x3 the ^w^ muvws of :3 a >w< wanguishing UwU death, 
But, ^w^ though swow, :3 deadwy? 
QUEEN. UwU I OwO wondew, ÚwÚ Doctow, 
^.^ Thou >_> ask'st ;;w;; me xDD such :3 a x3 question. :3 Have UwU I nyot :33 been 
x3 Thy ^w^ pupiw long? Hast xDD thou nyot weawn'd ;;w;; me >w< how 
;;w;; To >_< make pewfumes? ^-^ distiw? preserve? >w< yea, UwU so 
:33 That UwU ouw great x3 king >_< himsewf xDD doth ^.^ woo ;;w;; me ;;w;; oft 
For x3 my ^-^ confections? >_> Having OwO thus uWu faw pwoceeded- 
OwO Unwess xDD thou think'st ;;w;; me devilish- :3 is't nyot :3 meet 
:33 That UwU I uWu did ÚwÚ ampwify x3 my ^w^ judgment uWu in 
;;w;; Othew ^.^ concwusions? UwU I xDD wiww >_> twy x3 the forces 
Of these >w< thy uWu compounds on xDD such ^-^ cweatuwes >_< as 
We ;;w;; count nyot ^.^ wowth x3 the ;;w;; hanging- >_> but >_< nyonye human- 
;;w;; To >_> twy x3 the >_< vigouw of ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and apply 
;;w;; Awwayments to uWu theiw ;;w;; act, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by them gathew 
^-^ Theiw sevewaw uWu viwtues ÚwÚ and ^.^ effects. 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. uWu Youw >_> Highnyess 
Shall from ÚwÚ this pwactice >_> but >_< make x3 hawd x3 youw heawt; 
:33 Besides, x3 the ^-^ seeing these UwU effects xDD wiww be 
UwU Both ^-^ nyoisome ÚwÚ and :3 infectious. 
QUEEN. >_< O, :3 content thee. 

Entew :3 PISANyIO 

:3 [Aside] :3 Hewe x3 comes :3 a flattering ^-^ wascaw; ;;w;; upon ^.^ him 
Will UwU I xDD fiwst >w< wowk. He's fow :33 his ^.^ mastew, 
^-^ An ;;w;; enyemy to x3 my ^w^ son.- How now, :33 Pisanyio! 
ÚwÚ Doctow, x3 youw OwO sewvice fow ÚwÚ this time >_> is OwO ended; 
^.^ Take x3 youw UwU own >_> way. 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. :3 [Aside] UwU I UwU do >_> suspect UwU you, x3 madam; 
OwO But xDD you UwU shaww UwU do nyo harm. 
QUEEN. :33 [To PISANIO] ^.^ Hawk ÚwÚ thee, :3 a OwO wowd. 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. :3 [Aside] UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike her. :33 She xDD doth think ^.^ she >_> has 
Stwange x3 wing'wing UwU poisons. UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow her ^-^ spiwit, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot :33 twust one of her malice with 
^-^ A drug of xDD such damn'd :33 nyatuwe. >w< Those ^.^ she >_> has 
Will stupefy ÚwÚ and dull x3 the sense awhiwe, 
>_< Which xDD fiwst x3 pewchance ^.^ she'ww ^-^ pwuv on cats ÚwÚ and xDD dogs, 
UwU Then >w< aftewwawd x3 up highew; >_> but there >_> is 
No danger uWu in >_> what x3 show of :33 death >w< it ^.^ makes, 
uWu Mowe than x3 the >_> wocking x3 up x3 the ;;w;; spiwits :3 a time, 
;;w;; To be ^.^ mowe OwO fwesh, reviving. :33 She >_> is fool'd 
With :3 a UwU most UwU fawse :33 effect; ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 the twuew 
^w^ So to be UwU fawse with her. 
QUEEN. No further sewvice, ÚwÚ Doctow, 
Untiw UwU I >_> send fow thee. 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. UwU I x3 humbwy OwO take x3 my >_< weave. uWu Exit 
QUEEN. uWu Weeps ^.^ she still, say'st thou? uWu Dost xDD thou think uWu in time 
:33 She xDD wiww nyot OwO quench, ÚwÚ and wet instructions enter 
Whewe >w< fowwy nyow possesses? Do xDD thou >w< wowk. 
x3 When xDD thou shalt ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd ^.^ she loves x3 my x3 son, 
I'll tell uWu thee on x3 the x3 instant xDD thou awt xDD then 
;;w;; As great >_< as >_> is >w< thy mastew; ;;w;; gweatew, fow 
ÚwÚ His fowtunyes aww >_< wie ÚwÚ speechwess, ÚwÚ and :33 his xDD nyame 
Is uWu at >w< wast gasp. Return ^.^ he cannot, nor 
Continue :3 whewe ^.^ he >w< is. ;;w;; To OwO shift :33 his ^.^ being 
Is to :3 exchange one misery with another, 
xDD And every day :3 that x3 comes x3 comes x3 comes to 
^-^ A day's ^.^ wowk uWu in ^.^ him. >_> What shalt xDD thou >_< expect 
;;w;; To be >_> dependew on :3 a ^.^ thing :3 that leans, 
Who ;;w;; cannyot be x3 nyew built, nor >_> has nyo ^w^ fwiends 
^w^ So much >_< as >_> but to :3 pwop him? 
;;w;; [The >w< QUEEN ^.^ dwops x3 the xDD box. :3 PISANyIO UwU takes >w< it >_< up] 
^.^ Thou :33 tak'st x3 up 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st nyot :3 what; >_> but OwO take >w< it fow >w< thy uWu wabouw. 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a ^.^ thing UwU I made, which hath x3 the ^w^ King 
:3 Five times ^w^ wedeem'd from death. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow 
>_> What >_> is ^.^ mowe cordial. Nyay, UwU I :33 pwithee OwO take uWu it; 
^.^ It >_> is >w< an xDD eawnyest of :3 a further ÚwÚ good 
:33 That UwU I >_> mean to thee. Teww >w< thy mistwess >w< how 
uWu The case >w< stands with >w< hew; do't >_< as from thysewf. 
^w^ Think >_> what :3 a chance xDD thou :3 changest xDD on; >_> but think 
^.^ Thou x3 hast >w< thy mistwess stiww; to UwU boot, x3 my x3 son, 
Who UwU shaww OwO take ÚwÚ nyotice of thee. I'll move x3 the ^w^ King 
;;w;; To xDD any xDD shape of >w< thy pwefewment, xDD such 
;;w;; As thou'lt desire; ÚwÚ and xDD then myself, UwU I chiefly, 
:33 That uWu set uWu thee on to ÚwÚ this :3 desewt, ^w^ am bound 
;;w;; To woad >w< thy merit ÚwÚ wichwy. ;;w;; Caww x3 my ^w^ women. 
^w^ Think on x3 my ÚwÚ wowds. uWu Exit :3 PISANyIO 
^-^ A sly ÚwÚ and ^w^ constant ^-^ knyave, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to be ÚwÚ shak'd; x3 the agent fow :33 his ^.^ mastew, 
xDD And x3 the :33 wemembwancew of her to howd 
uWu The uWu hand-fast to her OwO wowd. UwU I uWu have UwU given ^.^ him :3 that 
>_< Which, >_> if ^.^ he take, UwU shaww quite xDD unpeopwe her 
Of leigers fow her sweet; ÚwÚ and which ^.^ she after, 
UwU Except ^.^ she >w< bend her >_< humouw, UwU shaww be x3 assuw'd 
;;w;; To >_> taste of UwU too. 

^.^ We-entew :3 PISANyIO ÚwÚ and :3 WADIES 

So, :3 so. Weww :33 donye, weww ^-^ donye. 
uWu The :33 viowets, >_> cowswips, ÚwÚ and x3 the primroses, 
ÚwÚ Beaw to x3 my >_> cwoset. >w< Fawe uWu thee weww, Pisanyio; 
^w^ Think on x3 my ÚwÚ wowds. Exeunt >w< QUEEN ÚwÚ and :3 WADIES 
PISANIO. xDD And UwU shaww xDD do. 
OwO But when to x3 my ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wowd UwU I ^-^ pwuv untrue 
I'll >_< choke myself- there's aww I'll UwU do fow OwO you. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
;;w;; Bwitain. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew UwU IMOGEN awonye 

UwU IMOGEN. ^-^ A >w< fathew UwU cwuew ÚwÚ and :3 a step-dame x3 fawse; 
^-^ A >_< foowish suitor to :3 a >w< wedded uWu wady 
:33 That hath her :33 husband xDD banyish'd. >_< O, :3 that ÚwÚ husband! 
OwO My supweme >_< cwown of xDD gwief! ÚwÚ and UwU those wepeated 
^.^ Vexations of :3 it! xDD Had UwU I :33 been >_< thief-stow'n, 
;;w;; As x3 my >w< two OwO bwothews, happy! >_> but UwU most >w< misewabwe 
Is x3 the ^.^ desiwe ^w^ that's ;;w;; gwowious. Bwessed be ^w^ those, 
How >_> mean OwO soe'ew, :3 that uWu have uWu theiw xDD honyest wiwws, 
>_< Which seasons UwU comfowt. Who OwO may ÚwÚ this :3 be? uWu Fie! 

Entew :3 PISANyIO ÚwÚ and uWu IACHIMO 

PISANIO. uWu Madam, :3 a x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ gentweman of ÚwÚ Wome 
UwU Comes from x3 my ;;w;; wowd with letters. 
IACHIMO. Change UwU you, :33 madam? 
uWu The ÚwÚ wowthy ÚwÚ Weonyatus >_> is uWu in safety, 
xDD And greets x3 youw >_> Highnyess deawwy. [Presents :3 a >_> wettew] 
UwU IMOGEN. >_< Thanks, ÚwÚ good sir. 
uWu You'we ^-^ kindwy x3 wewcome. 
IACHIMO. :3 [Aside] All of her :3 that >_> is x3 out of doow UwU most wich! 
;;w;; If ^.^ she be OwO fuwnyish'd with :3 a ^-^ mind UwU so wawe, 
:33 She >_> is awonye x3 th' Arabian bird, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
:3 Have wost x3 the ^-^ wagew. Boldness be x3 my >_> fwiend! 
>w< Awm uWu me, audacity, from >_> head to xDD foot! 
:3 Ow, ^.^ wike x3 the ÚwÚ Pawthian, UwU I UwU shaww uWu fwying fight; 
Wathew, xDD diwectwy fwy. 
UwU IMOGEN. [Weads] ^-^ 'He >_> is one of x3 the uWu nyobwest :3 nyote, to x3 whose 
^-^ kindnyesses UwU I ^w^ am UwU most infinyitewy tied. >w< Wefwect ;;w;; upon ^.^ him 
accordingly, >_< as xDD you value x3 youw :33 twust. WEONyATUS.' 

^w^ So uWu faw UwU I ^w^ wead awoud; 
OwO But even x3 the xDD vewy ;;w;; middwe of x3 my >_< heawt 
Is x3 wawm'd ^.^ by x3 th' xDD west ÚwÚ and UwU takes >w< it thankfully. 
>_> You OwO awe >_< as ;;w;; wewcome, ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ siw, >_< as UwU I 
:3 Have wowds to bid uWu you; ÚwÚ and UwU shaww find >w< it UwU so 
^w^ In aww :3 that UwU I ^.^ can xDD do. 
IACHIMO. >_< Thanks, >_> faiwest >_> wady. 
What, OwO awe ;;w;; men uWu mad? >_< Hath ÚwÚ nyatuwe UwU given them eyes 
;;w;; To >_> see ÚwÚ this x3 vauwted ^-^ awch ÚwÚ and x3 the rich crop 
Of sea ÚwÚ and land, which ^.^ can distinguish 'twixt 
uWu The fiery owbs :33 abuv ÚwÚ and x3 the twinn'd ^.^ stonyes 
>_> Upon x3 the nyumbew'd >_> beach, ÚwÚ and ^.^ can ^.^ we nyot 
xDD Pawtition >_< make with x3 spectacwes UwU so >_< pwecious 
UwU 'Twixt >w< faiw ÚwÚ and ^.^ fouw? 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> What x3 makes x3 youw x3 admiwation? 
IACHIMO. ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be :33 i' x3 th' >_< eye, fow >_< apes ÚwÚ and >_< monkeys, 
UwU 'Twixt >w< two xDD such :3 shes, ^.^ wouwd :33 chattew ÚwÚ this uWu way ÚwÚ and 
Contemn with xDD mows x3 the >w< othew; nor :33 i' x3 th' ^.^ judgment, 
For ^.^ idiots uWu in ÚwÚ this case of ^.^ favouw ^.^ wouwd 
^w^ Be wisely definite; nor :33 i' x3 th' x3 appetite; 
uWu Swuttewy, to xDD such neat excewwence oppos'd, 
Should >_< make ^.^ desiwe ^.^ vomit emptiness, 
ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so allur'd to OwO feed. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< mattew, trow? 
IACHIMO. uWu The uWu cwoyed ;;w;; wiww- 
:33 That x3 satiate yet :3 unsatisfied >_> desiwe, :3 that ^w^ tub 
UwU Both :3 fiww'd ÚwÚ and running- ravening xDD fiwst x3 the lamb, 
Longs ÚwÚ aftew fow x3 the xDD gawbage. 
UwU IMOGEN. What, uWu deaw ^w^ siw, 
^-^ Thus ^w^ waps you? ^w^ Awe xDD you ^.^ weww? 
IACHIMO. >_< Thanks, x3 madam; ^-^ weww.- Beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
Desire x3 my :33 man's >_< abode :3 whewe UwU I uWu did OwO weave ^.^ him. 
He's ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ and ^.^ peevish. 
PISANIO. UwU I UwU was ^-^ going, ^w^ siw, 
;;w;; To UwU give ^.^ him x3 wewcome. uWu Exit 
UwU IMOGEN. :33 Continyues weww x3 my xDD wowd? ÚwÚ His ^.^ heawth :33 beseech you? 
IACHIMO. xDD Weww, UwU madam. 
UwU IMOGEN. Is ^.^ he uWu dispos'd to mirth? UwU I UwU hope ^.^ he >w< is. 
IACHIMO. ;;w;; Exceeding >w< pweasant; >_< nyonye :3 a stwangew there 
^w^ So ^.^ mewwy ÚwÚ and UwU so >_< gamesome. >w< He >_> is ^w^ caww'd 
uWu The uWu Bwitain wevewwew. 
UwU IMOGEN. x3 When ^.^ he UwU was OwO hewe 
>w< He uWu did incline to xDD sadnyess, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ oft-times 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 knyowing :33 why. 
IACHIMO. UwU I >_< nyevew saw ^.^ him OwO sad. 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a OwO Fwenchman :33 his >_< companyion, one 
^-^ An eminyent monsieur :3 that, >w< it seems, much loves 
^-^ A Gawwian girl uWu at >_> home. >w< He UwU fuwnyaces 
uWu The thick :3 sighs from him; whiwes x3 the jowwy UwU Bwiton- 
uWu Youw uWu wowd, UwU I >_< mean- ^-^ waughs ;;w;; fwom's fwee ;;w;; wungs, x3 cwies 'O, 
UwU Can x3 my >w< sides OwO howd, to think :3 that >_> man- who xDD knyows 
^-^ By history, wepowt, ow :33 his UwU own uWu pwoof, 
>_> What OwO woman ;;w;; is, >w< yea, >_> what ^.^ she ;;w;; cannyot choose 
OwO But ^w^ must ^-^ be- >w< wiww's fwee >_> houws wanguish fow 
Assuwed bondage?' 
UwU IMOGEN. Will x3 my ;;w;; wowd >_> say so? 
IACHIMO. Ay, UwU madam, with :33 his eyes uWu in flood with uWu waughtew. 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a recreation to be ^.^ by 
xDD And hear ^.^ him ÚwÚ mock x3 the xDD Fwenchman. OwO But heavens ^.^ knyow 
;;w;; Some ;;w;; men OwO awe much to blame. 
UwU IMOGEN. ÚwÚ Nyot xDD he, UwU I ^-^ hope. 
IACHIMO. ÚwÚ Nyot he; >_> but yet heaven's >_> bounty uWu towawds ^.^ him ^w^ might 
^w^ Be ;;w;; us'd ^.^ mowe thankfully. ^w^ In himsewf, UwU 'tis >_> much; 
^w^ In UwU you, which UwU I :33 account his, ^w^ beyond aww xDD tawents. 
Whilst UwU I ^w^ am bound to OwO wondew, UwU I ^w^ am bound 
;;w;; To pity UwU too. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> What UwU do xDD you pity, UwU siw? 
IACHIMO. Two ^-^ cweatuwes heawtiwy. 
UwU IMOGEN. ^w^ Am UwU I one, UwU siw? 
>_> You wook on ;;w;; me: >_> what wreck discewn xDD you uWu in ;;w;; me 
>_> Desewves x3 youw x3 pity? 
IACHIMO. Lamentable! What, 
;;w;; To hide ;;w;; me from x3 the OwO wadiant sun ÚwÚ and sowace 
xDD I' x3 th' >_< dungeon ^.^ by :3 a ^.^ snyuff? 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
Deliver with ^.^ mowe :3 opennyess x3 youw ^-^ answews 
;;w;; To x3 my ÚwÚ demands. Why UwU do xDD you pity me? 
IACHIMO. :33 That ;;w;; othews UwU do, 
UwU I UwU was about to say, ^.^ enjoy your- OwO But 
^.^ It >_> is >w< an ^.^ office of x3 the gods to >_< venge :33 it, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< minye to speak ^.^ on't. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> You UwU do xDD seem to ^.^ knyow 
xDD Something of uWu me, ow >_> what uWu concewns OwO me; pray :3 you- 
Since ÚwÚ doubting ^.^ things OwO go :33 iww often OwO huwts ^.^ mowe 
Than to be >_< suwe ;;w;; they do; fow >_> cewtainties 
^-^ Eithew OwO awe x3 past >_> wemedies, or, timely ^w^ knyowing, 
uWu The wemedy xDD then bown- OwO discuvw to ;;w;; me 
>_> What both xDD you ^w^ spuw ÚwÚ and ^-^ stop. 
IACHIMO. xDD Had UwU I ÚwÚ this >_< cheek 
;;w;; To ^.^ bathe x3 my lips xDD upon; ÚwÚ this uWu hand, x3 whose xDD touch, 
>_< Whose every xDD touch, ^.^ wouwd force x3 the ^w^ feewew's :3 souw 
;;w;; To x3 th' ^-^ oath of loyalty; ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ object, which 
Takes ÚwÚ pwisonyew x3 the >w< wiwd >_> motion of >_< minye >_< eye, 
>_< Fixing >w< it >w< onwy ^.^ hewe; >_> shouwd I, damn'd >w< then, 
x3 Swavew with lips >_< as ^w^ common >_< as x3 the >_< staiws 
:33 That ^-^ mount x3 the Capitow; ^w^ join :3 gwipes with ^.^ hands 
Made x3 hawd with hourly :33 fawsehood- UwU fawsehood >_< as 
With ^w^ wabouw; xDD then by-peeping uWu in >w< an ^w^ eye 
>w< Base ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ iwwustwious >_< as x3 the >w< smoky >w< wight 
>w< That's ÚwÚ fed with >w< stinking :33 tawwow- >w< it :3 wewe ;;w;; fit 
:33 That aww x3 the plagues of heww >_> shouwd uWu at one time 
>_< Encountew xDD such revolt. 
UwU IMOGEN. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, 
x3 Has fowgot ;;w;; Bwitain. 
IACHIMO. xDD And himself. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU I 
;;w;; Incwin'd to ÚwÚ this ^.^ intewwigence pwonyounce 
uWu The :33 beggawy of :33 his uWu change; >_> but UwU 'tis x3 youw uWu gwaces 
:33 That from x3 my x3 mutest >_> conscience to x3 my >_> tongue 
Chawms ÚwÚ this wepowt OwO out. 
UwU IMOGEN. Let ;;w;; me hear nyo more. 
IACHIMO. x3 O deawest x3 souw, x3 youw cause xDD doth strike x3 my >_< heawt 
With pity :3 that xDD doth >_< make ;;w;; me sick! ^-^ A uWu wady 
^w^ So faiw, ÚwÚ and xDD fasten'd to >w< an empewy, 
Wouwd >_< make x3 the gweat'st x3 king double, to be OwO pawtnyew'd 
With ^.^ tomboys xDD hiw'd with :3 that self >_> exhibition 
>_< Which x3 youw UwU own >_< coffews >w< yiewd! with OwO diseas'd :3 ventuwes 
:33 That :33 pway with aww infiwmities fow gowd 
>_< Which rottenness ^.^ can xDD wend nyatuwe! xDD such ÚwÚ boiw'd ^w^ stuff 
;;w;; As weww ^w^ might x3 poison OwO poison! ^w^ Be >w< weveng'd; 
:33 Ow ^.^ she :3 that bore xDD you UwU was nyo queen, ÚwÚ and xDD you 
uWu Wecoiw from x3 youw great :3 stock. 
UwU IMOGEN. Reveng'd? 
How >_> shouwd UwU I be uWu weveng'd? ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be UwU twue- 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have xDD such :3 a >_< heawt :3 that both >_< minye OwO eaws 
:3 Must nyot uWu in ^.^ haste ^w^ abuse- >_> if >w< it be ^-^ twue, 
How >_> shouwd UwU I be uWu weveng'd? 
IACHIMO. Should ^.^ he >_< make ;;w;; me 
Wive ^.^ wike Diana's priest betwixt UwU cowd UwU sheets, 
Whiwes ^.^ he >_> is xDD vauwting ^.^ vawiabwe ramps, 
^w^ In x3 youw ÚwÚ despite, ;;w;; upon x3 youw :33 puwse? xDD Wevenge :3 it. 
UwU I dedicate mysewf to x3 youw x3 sweet x3 pweasuwe, 
uWu Mowe x3 nyobwe than :3 that >w< wunyagate to x3 youw ^.^ bed, 
xDD And xDD wiww >w< continyue ÚwÚ fast to x3 youw :33 affection, 
UwU Stiww ^-^ cwose >_< as >_> suwe. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> What :3 ho, :33 Pisanyio! 
IACHIMO. Let ;;w;; me x3 my OwO sewvice xDD tendew on x3 youw x3 wips. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> Away! UwU I UwU do >_< condemn >_< minye OwO eaws :3 that uWu have 
^w^ So ^-^ wong ^w^ attended thee. ;;w;; If xDD thou OwO wewt >_> honyouwabwe, 
^.^ Thou wouldst uWu have told ÚwÚ this xDD tawe fow virtue, nyot 
For xDD such >w< an >w< end xDD thou uWu seek'st, >_< as UwU base >_< as x3 stwange. 
^.^ Thou wrong'st :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman who >_> is >_< as uWu faw 
Fwom >w< thy wepowt >_< as xDD thou from honour; ÚwÚ and 
^.^ Sowicits OwO hewe :3 a uWu wady :3 that >_< disdains 
uWu Thee ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ deviw alike.- >_> What :3 ho, Pisanio!- 
uWu The ^w^ King x3 my >w< fathew UwU shaww be UwU made >_> acquainted 
Of >w< thy xDD assauwt. ;;w;; If ^.^ he UwU shaww think >w< it ;;w;; fit 
^-^ A ^w^ saucy stwangew uWu in :33 his court to mart 
;;w;; As uWu in :3 a Womish stew, ÚwÚ and to >_< expound 
ÚwÚ His OwO beastwy ^-^ mind to us, ^.^ he hath :3 a court 
>w< He xDD wittwe ÚwÚ cawes for, ÚwÚ and :3 a daughter who 
>w< He nyot UwU wespects uWu at :33 aww.- >_> What :3 ho, :33 Pisanyio! 
IACHIMO. x3 O ^w^ happy Leonatus! UwU I OwO may >_> say 
uWu The cwedit :3 that >w< thy uWu wady hath of uWu thee 
>_> Desewves >w< thy ^w^ twust, ÚwÚ and >w< thy UwU most :3 pewfect xDD goodnyess 
:3 Hew x3 assuw'd >w< cwedit. Bwessed ^w^ wive xDD you long, 
^-^ A uWu wady to x3 the x3 wowthiest ^w^ siw :3 that OwO evew 
Country ^w^ caww'd his! ÚwÚ and xDD you :33 his ^-^ mistwess, >w< onwy 
For x3 the UwU most x3 wowthiest ^-^ fit! Give ;;w;; me x3 youw pardon. 
UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke ÚwÚ this to ^.^ knyow >_> if x3 youw :33 affiance 
^.^ Wewe deepwy >_> wooted, ÚwÚ and UwU shaww >_< make x3 youw ;;w;; wowd 
:33 That which ^.^ he >_> is x3 nyew o'ew; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is one 
uWu The uWu twuest ^-^ mannyew'd, xDD such :3 a >w< howy >w< witch 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> enchants >_< societies x3 into :3 him, 
>_> Hawf aww men's heawts OwO awe ÚwÚ his. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> You >_< make >_> amends. 
IACHIMO. >w< He >_> sits ^w^ 'mongst ;;w;; men ^.^ wike :3 a >_> descended UwU god: 
>w< He hath :3 a uWu kind of honour :33 sets ^.^ him of 
uWu Mowe than :3 a >w< mowtaw >_< seeming. ^w^ Be nyot ;;w;; angwy, 
:3 Most ^-^ mighty xDD Pwincess, :3 that UwU I uWu have ^-^ adventuw'd 
;;w;; To >_> twy x3 youw :3 taking of :3 a UwU fawse wepowt, which hath 
OwO Honyouw'd with confirmation x3 youw great ^w^ judgment 
^w^ In x3 the UwU ewection of :3 a ^w^ siw UwU so wawe, 
>_< Which xDD you ^.^ knyow ;;w;; cannyot eww. uWu The wuv UwU I UwU beaw ^.^ him 
Made ;;w;; me to >_> fan xDD you ^.^ thus; >_> but x3 the gods UwU made UwU you, 
:33 Unwike aww ^w^ othews, >_> chaffwess. >_> Pway x3 youw pardon. 
UwU IMOGEN. ^-^ Aww's weww, siw; OwO take x3 my pow'w :33 i' x3 th' court fow x3 youws. 
IACHIMO. OwO My humble :33 thanks. UwU I xDD had almost fowgot 
;;w;; T' entweat x3 youw Gwace >_> but uWu in :3 a UwU smaww ÚwÚ wequest, 
xDD And yet of x3 moment :3 too, fow >w< it uWu concewns 
uWu Youw wowd; mysewf ÚwÚ and othew x3 nyobwe ^w^ fwiends 
^w^ Awe OwO pawtnyews uWu in x3 the business. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> Pway >_> what is't? 
IACHIMO. ;;w;; Some ^.^ dozen Romans of us, ÚwÚ and x3 youw wowd- 
uWu The best ÚwÚ feathew of UwU ouw x3 wing- uWu have >w< mingwed uWu sums 
;;w;; To UwU buy :3 a xDD pwesent fow x3 the OwO Empewow; 
>_< Which I, x3 the factow fow x3 the ^-^ west, uWu have donye 
^w^ In Fwance. 'Tis pwate of OwO wawe >_< device, ÚwÚ and :3 jewews 
Of rich ÚwÚ and exquisite ÚwÚ fowm, uWu theiw :3 vawues gweat; 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ something >w< cuwious, ^.^ being >_> stwange, 
;;w;; To uWu have them uWu in >_< safe >_< stowage. ^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease xDD you 
;;w;; To OwO take them uWu in protection? 
UwU IMOGEN. :3 Wiwwingwy; 
xDD And ^.^ pawn >_< minye honour fow uWu theiw >w< safety. Since 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd hath ÚwÚ intewest uWu in ÚwÚ them, UwU I xDD wiww >_< keep them 
^w^ In x3 my ÚwÚ bedchambew. 
IACHIMO. ^-^ They OwO awe uWu in :3 a ;;w;; twunk, 
Attended ^.^ by x3 my ^.^ men. UwU I xDD wiww >_< make bold 
;;w;; To >_> send them to xDD you >w< onwy fow ÚwÚ this ^w^ nyight; 
UwU I ^w^ must OwO aboawd ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_< O, no, >w< nyo. 
IACHIMO. Yes, UwU I beseech; ow UwU I UwU shaww showt x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
^-^ By ^w^ wength'nying x3 my wetuwn. Fwom Gawwia 
UwU I cwoss'd x3 the seas on OwO puwpose ÚwÚ and on promise 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw OwO pains. 
OwO But nyot OwO away ^.^ to-mowwow! 
IACHIMO. >_< O, UwU I ;;w;; must, UwU madam. 
Therefore UwU I UwU shaww :33 beseech UwU you, >_> if xDD you uWu pwease 
;;w;; To x3 gweet x3 youw ;;w;; wowd with writing, do't to-night. 
UwU I uWu have outstood x3 my time, which >_> is matewiaw 
uWu 'To x3 th' xDD tendew of UwU ouw :33 pwesent. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I xDD wiww write. 
>_< Send x3 youw UwU twunk to OwO me; >w< it UwU shaww >_< safe be :33 kept 
xDD And :33 twuwy yiewded OwO you. uWu You'we xDD vewy x3 wewcome. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
;;w;; Bwitain. ^.^ Befowe CYMBEWINyE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew CLOTEN ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< two ;;w;; WOWDS 

xDD CWOTEN. Was there OwO evew x3 man xDD had xDD such OwO wuck! x3 When UwU I >w< kiss'd x3 the UwU jack, 
;;w;; upon >w< an ^.^ up-cast to be ;;w;; hit away! UwU I xDD had :3 a :3 hundwed ;;w;; pound ^-^ on't; ÚwÚ and 
xDD then :3 a UwU whoweson jackanyapes ^w^ must OwO take ;;w;; me x3 up fow uWu sweawing, >_< as >_> if UwU I 
bowwowed >_< minye >w< oaths of :3 him, ÚwÚ and ^w^ might nyot spend them uWu at x3 my 
pleasure. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> What ^w^ got ^.^ he ^.^ by ^-^ that? >_> You uWu have broke :33 his OwO pate with x3 youw 
boww. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; If :33 his wit xDD had :33 been ^.^ wike ^.^ him :3 that broke :33 it, >w< it 
^.^ wouwd uWu have >w< wun aww OwO out. 
xDD CWOTEN. x3 When :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman >_> is uWu dispos'd to x3 sweaw, >w< it >_> is nyot fow xDD any 
standers-by to ^.^ cuwtaiw :33 his :33 oaths. ÚwÚ Ha? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 Nyo, x3 my wowd; :3 [Aside] nor crop x3 the OwO eaws of OwO them. 
xDD CWOTEN. :33 Whoweson dog! UwU I UwU give ^.^ him ÚwÚ satisfaction? Wouwd ^.^ he xDD had :33 been 
one of x3 my rank! 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; To uWu have smeww'd ^.^ wike :3 a xDD foow. 
xDD CWOTEN. UwU I ^w^ am nyot vex'd ^.^ mowe uWu at ;;w;; anything uWu in x3 th' ;;w;; eawth. ^-^ A uWu pox x3 on't! UwU I 
xDD had rather nyot be UwU so x3 nyobwe >_< as UwU I am; ;;w;; they dawe nyot >w< fight with uWu me, 
uWu because of x3 the xDD Queen x3 my x3 mothew. Evewy jackslave hath :33 his >_> bewwyfuw 
of fighting, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must OwO go x3 up ÚwÚ and down ^.^ wike :3 a >_> cock :3 that >w< nyobody 
^.^ can match. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] >_> You OwO awe >_> cock ÚwÚ and ^.^ capon :3 too; ÚwÚ and xDD you crow, 
^w^ cock, with x3 youw ^w^ comb :3 on. 
xDD CWOTEN. ^w^ Sayest thou? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^.^ It >_> is nyot ;;w;; fit x3 youw OwO wowdship >_> shouwd undewtake every 
>_< companyion :3 that xDD you UwU give offence ;;w;; to. 
xDD CWOTEN. :3 Nyo, UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 that; >_> but >w< it >_> is ;;w;; fit UwU I >_> shouwd :3 commit offence to 
x3 my infewiows. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Ay, >w< it >_> is ;;w;; fit fow x3 youw OwO wowdship onwy. 
xDD CWOTEN. Why, UwU so UwU I :3 say. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Did xDD you hear of :3 a stwangew ^w^ that's come to court 
:3 to-nyight? 
xDD CWOTEN. ^-^ A uWu stwangew, ÚwÚ and UwU I nyot ÚwÚ knyown ^.^ on't? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] He's :3 a ;;w;; stwange fewwow himsewf, ÚwÚ and xDD knyows >w< it 
not. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> Thewe's >w< an Itawian come, x3 and, UwU 'tis ^-^ thought, one of 
^.^ Weonyatus' fwiends. 
xDD CWOTEN. ÚwÚ Weonyatus? ^-^ A banyish'd ^-^ wascaw; ÚwÚ and uWu he's another, ^-^ whatsoevew 
^.^ he >w< be. Who told xDD you of ÚwÚ this >_> stwangew? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. x3 Onye of x3 youw :3 wowdship's ^-^ pages. 
xDD CWOTEN. Is >w< it ;;w;; fit UwU I OwO went to wook ;;w;; upon him? Is there nyo ^-^ dewogation 
in't? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >_> You ;;w;; cannyot >_< dewogate, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD CWOTEN. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> easiwy, UwU I UwU think. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 [Aside] >_> You OwO awe :3 a >w< foow gwanted; >_< thewefowe x3 youw x3 issues, 
^.^ being :33 foowish, UwU do nyot :33 dewogate. 
xDD CWOTEN. ^.^ Come, I'll OwO go >_> see ÚwÚ this ^.^ Itawian. >_> What UwU I uWu have wost ^w^ to-day uWu at 
^.^ bowws I'll x3 win ^.^ to-nyight of ^.^ him. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ go. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. I'll >_< attend x3 youw wowdship. 
Exeunt CLOTEN ÚwÚ and uWu FIWST >w< WOWD 
:33 That xDD such :3 a ^-^ cwafty ^.^ deviw >_< as >_> is :33 his mothew 
Should yield x3 the wowwd ÚwÚ this ^w^ ass! ^-^ A OwO woman :3 that 
:33 Beaws aww down with her bwain; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this her >_< son 
UwU Cannyot OwO take >w< two from twenty, fow :33 his uWu heawt, 
xDD And OwO weave eighteen. ÚwÚ Awas, poor pwincess, 
^.^ Thou divine x3 Imogen, >_> what xDD thou endur'st, 
Betwixt :3 a >w< fathew ^.^ by >w< thy step-dame govern'd, 
^-^ A mothew hourly xDD coinying OwO pwots, :3 a wooew 
uWu Mowe hateful than x3 the fouw x3 expuwsion >_> is 
Of >w< thy uWu deaw ^.^ husband, than :3 that >_> howwid ;;w;; act 
Of x3 the :3 divowce >w< he'd make! uWu The heavens howd >w< fiwm 
uWu The OwO wawws of >w< thy uWu deaw honyouw, >_< keep ^-^ unshak'd 
:33 That ^-^ tempwe, >w< thy >w< faiw UwU mind, :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst stand 
;;w;; T' ^.^ enjoy >w< thy banyish'd ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this great wand! uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
;;w;; Bwitain. >_< IMOGEN'S x3 bedchambew uWu in CYMBEWINyE'S ^-^ pawace; :3 a UwU twunk uWu in one ^-^ cownyew 

Entew UwU IMOGEN uWu in her ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and :3 a :3 WADY :33 attending 

UwU IMOGEN. Who's OwO thewe? OwO My x3 woman? Hewen? 
WADY. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, UwU madam. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> What >_> houw >_> is :33 it? 
WADY. Awmost midnight, UwU madam. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I uWu have ^w^ wead >w< thwee >_> houws UwU then. Mine eyes OwO awe >_> weak; 
>_< Fowd down x3 the OwO weaf :3 whewe UwU I uWu have left. ;;w;; To :3 bed. 
^.^ Take nyot OwO away x3 the :33 tapew, OwO weave >w< it buwnying; 
xDD And >_> if xDD thou ;;w;; canst awake ^.^ by fouw ^.^ o' x3 th' clock, 
UwU I :33 pwithee caww x3 me. OwO Sweep hath :3 seiz'd ;;w;; me >w< whowwy. uWu Exit :3 WADY 
;;w;; To x3 youw pwotection UwU I ÚwÚ commend uWu me, gods. 
Fwom ^-^ faiwies ÚwÚ and x3 the tempters of x3 the >w< nyight 
x3 Guawd uWu me, :33 beseech ;;w;; ye! 
>_< [Sweeps. uWu IACHIMO x3 comes from x3 the OwO twunk] 
IACHIMO. uWu The cwickets ^w^ sing, ÚwÚ and :33 man's x3 o'ew-wabouw'd sense 
UwU Wepaiws itsewf ^.^ by rest. Our >_> Tawquin OwO thus 
Did softly x3 pwess x3 the wushes ere ^.^ he uWu waken'd 
uWu The ÚwÚ chastity ^.^ he wounded. Cythewea, 
How bravely xDD thou UwU becom'st >w< thy bed! >w< fwesh ^-^ wiwy, 
xDD And whiter than x3 the sheets! :33 That UwU I ^w^ might ^.^ touch! 
OwO But >_< kiss; one >_< kiss! Wubies ^w^ unpawagon'd, 
How ÚwÚ deawwy ;;w;; they do't! 'Tis her :33 bweathing :3 that 
>_< Pewfumes x3 the x3 chambew OwO thus. uWu The fwame ^.^ o' x3 th' xDD tapew 
^.^ Bows toward her ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd ^.^ undew-peep her wids 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 th' :33 encwosed :3 wights, nyow canyopied 
;;w;; Undew these ^w^ windows ^-^ white ÚwÚ and ^.^ azuwe, ^w^ wac'd 
With blue of heaven's UwU own tinct. OwO But x3 my :3 design 
;;w;; To ^-^ nyote x3 the ^.^ chambew. UwU I xDD wiww >w< wwite aww x3 down: 
>w< Such ÚwÚ and xDD such pictures; there x3 the >_> window; xDD such 
xDD Th' adownment of her bed; x3 the arras, :3 figuwes- 
Why, xDD such ÚwÚ and such; ÚwÚ and x3 the contents ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; stowy. 
xDD Ah, >_> but x3 some natural >_> nyotes about her >w< body 
Abuv ;;w;; ten thousand >w< meanyew movables 
Wouwd ^.^ testify, t' enrich >_< minye inventory. 
x3 O sweep, xDD thou ^w^ ape of UwU death, >_< wie dull ;;w;; upon >_> hew! 
xDD And be her sense >_> but >_< as :3 a ;;w;; monyument, 
^-^ Thus uWu in :3 a ^w^ chapew lying! :3 Come ^w^ off, come :33 off; 
^.^ [Taking x3 off her xDD bwacewet] 
;;w;; As slippery >_< as x3 the Gowdian >_< knyot UwU was :33 hawd! 
'Tis minye; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this xDD wiww >_> witnyess outwardly, 
;;w;; As >_< stwongwy >_< as x3 the >_> conscience does :33 within, 
;;w;; To x3 th' ^-^ madding of her OwO wowd. On her left breast 
^-^ A ^.^ mowe ^.^ cinque-spotted, ^.^ wike x3 the >_< cwimson ^.^ dwops 
xDD I' x3 th' :3 bottom of :3 a cowslip. >_> Hewe's :3 a OwO vouchew 
^w^ Stwongew than OwO evew law couwd xDD make; ÚwÚ this secret 
Will force ^.^ him think UwU I uWu have pick'd x3 the OwO wock ÚwÚ and >_> ta'en 
uWu The treasure of her honyouw. No more. ;;w;; To >_> what >w< end? 
Why >_> shouwd UwU I >w< wwite ÚwÚ this down ^w^ that's riveted, 
Screw'd to x3 my UwU memowy? :33 She hath :33 been weading wate 
uWu The xDD tawe of :33 Teweus; OwO hewe x3 the OwO weaf's >_> tuwn'd down 
Whewe ÚwÚ Phiwomew uWu gave :33 up. UwU I uWu have enyough. 
;;w;; To x3 th' UwU twunk OwO again, ÚwÚ and shut x3 the ^-^ spwing of :3 it. 
ÚwÚ Swift, swift, xDD you dragons of x3 the night, :3 that dawning 
^-^ May OwO bawe x3 the raven's OwO eye! UwU I uWu wodge uWu in x3 feaw; 
;;w;; Though ÚwÚ this :3 a ^-^ heavenwy ^-^ angew, heww >_> is hewe. xDD [Cwock >w< stwikes] 
One, >_> two, thwee. Time, xDD time! uWu Exit x3 into x3 the UwU twunk 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
CYMBEWINyE'S palace. ^-^ An ante-chamber >w< adjoinying >_< IMOGEN'S >_> apawtments 

Entew CLOTEN ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 

uWu FIWST WOWD. uWu Youw OwO wowdship >_> is x3 the UwU most patient x3 man uWu in woss, x3 the UwU most 
:3 cowdest :3 that OwO evew >_> tuwn'd x3 up ^w^ ace. 
xDD CWOTEN. ^.^ It ^.^ wouwd >_< make xDD any x3 man UwU cowd to uWu wose. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. OwO But nyot every x3 man patient ÚwÚ aftew x3 the x3 nyobwe xDD tempew of 
x3 youw wowdship. >_> You OwO awe UwU most :3 hot ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fuwious when xDD you :33 win. 
xDD CWOTEN. Winnying xDD wiww put xDD any x3 man x3 into courage. ;;w;; If UwU I couwd get ÚwÚ this 
>_< foowish x3 Imogen, UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have gowd enyough. x3 It's almost UwU mownying, 
:3 is't ^w^ nyot? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> Day, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD CWOTEN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ this uWu music ^.^ wouwd x3 come. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ advised to UwU give her 
uWu music :3 a mownyings; ;;w;; they >_> say >w< it xDD wiww penetrate. 

Entew musicians 

:3 Come ;;w;; on, x3 tunye. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ can OwO penyetwate her with x3 youw fingering, :3 so. 
^-^ We'ww >_> twy with >_> tongue UwU too. ;;w;; If >_< nyonye xDD wiww UwU do, wet her :3 wemain; >_> but 
I'll >_< nyevew UwU give >_< o'ew. ^.^ Fiwst, :3 a xDD vewy :3 excewwent ;;w;; good-conceited 
>_> thing; after, :3 a ;;w;; wondewfuw x3 sweet air, with uWu admiwabwe rich wowds to 
OwO it- ÚwÚ and xDD then wet her ;;w;; considew. 

OwO SONG 

Hawk, x3 hawk! x3 the lark uWu at heaven's uWu gate xDD sings, 
xDD And :33 Phoebus ^w^ 'gins ^.^ awise, 
ÚwÚ His OwO steeds to UwU watew uWu at UwU those springs 
On ;;w;; chawic'd flow'rs :3 that >w< wies; 
xDD And winking ÚwÚ Mawy-buds x3 begin 
;;w;; To ^w^ ope uWu theiw golden :3 eyes. 
With evewything :3 that OwO pwetty UwU bin, 
OwO My uWu wady sweet, ;;w;; awise; 
Awise, xDD awise! 

So, get xDD you ;;w;; gonye. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this x3 penyetwate, UwU I xDD wiww OwO considew x3 youw uWu music 
x3 the uWu bettew; >_> if >w< it UwU do >_> nyot, >w< it >_> is :3 a :33 vice uWu in her OwO eaws which 
:3 howsehaiws ÚwÚ and ^w^ cawves' guts, nor x3 the uWu voice of x3 unpaved eunuch to 
UwU boot, ^.^ can >_< nyevew uWu amend. Exeunt musicians 

Entew CYMBELINE ÚwÚ and >w< QUEEN 

^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the ;;w;; King. 
xDD CWOTEN. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad UwU I UwU was x3 up UwU so late, fow ^w^ that's x3 the reason UwU I UwU was x3 up 
UwU so >_> eawwy. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but OwO take ÚwÚ this OwO sewvice UwU I uWu have donye 
;;w;; fathewwy.- ^-^ Good mowwow to x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty ÚwÚ and to x3 my >_> gwacious x3 mothew. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. uWu Attend xDD you OwO hewe x3 the doow of UwU ouw xDD stewn daughter? 
Will ^.^ she nyot uWu fowth? 
xDD CWOTEN. UwU I uWu have >_< assaiw'd her with ;;w;; musics, >_> but ^.^ she ÚwÚ vouchsafes nyo 
OwO nyotice. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. uWu The exiwe of her uWu minyion >_> is ^w^ too ÚwÚ nyew; 
:33 She hath nyot yet fowgot him; x3 some ^.^ mowe time 
:3 Must ^-^ weaw x3 the pwint of :33 his wemembwance ^.^ out, 
xDD And xDD then ^w^ she's x3 youws. 
QUEEN. >_> You OwO awe UwU most bound to x3 th' OwO King, 
Who wets OwO go ^.^ by nyo xDD vantages :3 that OwO may 
Pwefew xDD you to :33 his >w< daughtew. ^.^ Fwame >_> youwsewf 
;;w;; To ^w^ owdewwy xDD sowiciting, ÚwÚ and be friended 
With :33 aptnyess of x3 the :3 season; >_< make denials 
x3 Incwease x3 youw >w< sewvices; UwU so xDD seem >_< as >_> if 
>_> You :3 wewe inspir'd to UwU do UwU those >_> duties which 
>_> You xDD tendew to >w< hew; :3 that xDD you uWu in aww UwU obey hew, 
:3 Save when ÚwÚ command to x3 youw dismission ;;w;; tends, 
xDD And thewein xDD you OwO awe >_< sensewess. 
xDD CWOTEN. OwO Sensewess? ÚwÚ Nyot :3 so. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. ^w^ So ^.^ wike UwU you, ^w^ siw, ambassadors from Rome; 
uWu The one >_> is :3 Caius ^-^ Wucius. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^-^ A ÚwÚ wowthy fewwow, 
Awbeit ^.^ he x3 comes on angry OwO puwpose >_< nyow; 
OwO But ^w^ that's nyo ;;w;; fauwt of ÚwÚ his. We ^w^ must receive ^.^ him 
x3 Accowding to x3 the honour of :33 his OwO sendew; 
xDD And uWu towawds himsewf, :33 his xDD goodnyess UwU fowespent on us, 
We ^w^ must :3 extend UwU ouw OwO nyotice. Our uWu deaw x3 son, 
x3 When xDD you uWu have UwU given ÚwÚ good mownying to x3 youw ^-^ mistwess, 
uWu Attend x3 the xDD Queen ÚwÚ and us; ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have >_< nyeed 
;;w;; T' :33 empwoy xDD you uWu towawds ÚwÚ this Roman. ^.^ Come, UwU ouw >w< queen. 
Exeunt aww >_> but CLOTEN 
xDD CWOTEN. ;;w;; If ^.^ she be up, I'll speak with >w< hew; >_> if >_> nyot, 
Let her >_< wie still ÚwÚ and UwU dweam. ^-^ By x3 youw weave, ho! [Knocks] 
UwU I ^.^ knyow her x3 women OwO awe about >w< hew; >_> what 
;;w;; If UwU I UwU do winye one of uWu theiw hands? 'Tis gowd 
>_< Which xDD buys ;;w;; admittance; ;;w;; oft >w< it >_> doth-yea, ÚwÚ and x3 makes 
Diana's :33 wangews UwU fawse ^.^ themsewves, yield x3 up 
^-^ Theiw >w< deew to x3 th' stand ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; steawew; ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis gowd 
>_< Which x3 makes x3 the true x3 man kill'd ÚwÚ and >w< saves x3 the ^.^ thief; 
Nyay, ÚwÚ sometime uWu hangs both UwU thief ÚwÚ and true man. >_> What 
UwU Can >w< it nyot UwU do ÚwÚ and >_> undo? UwU I xDD wiww >_< make 
x3 Onye of her x3 women ÚwÚ wawyew to uWu me, fow 
UwU I yet nyot understand x3 the case :3 mysewf. 
^-^ By x3 youw >_< weave. [Knocks] 

Entew :3 a :3 WADY 

WADY. Who's there :3 that knocks? 
xDD CWOTEN. ^-^ A :3 gentweman. 
WADY. No UwU mowe? 
xDD CWOTEN. Yes, ÚwÚ and :3 a OwO gentwewoman's OwO son. 
WADY. >w< That's ^.^ mowe 
Than x3 some x3 whose ;;w;; taiwows OwO awe >_< as uWu deaw >_< as >_> youws 
UwU Can >_< justwy boast uWu of. x3 What's x3 youw :3 wowdship's pweasuwe? 
xDD CWOTEN. uWu Youw >_> wady's ÚwÚ pewson; >_> is ^.^ she ^-^ weady? 
WADY. Ay, 
;;w;; To >_< keep her ^.^ chambew. 
xDD CWOTEN. >_> Thewe >_> is gowd fow uWu you; ;;w;; seww ;;w;; me x3 youw ÚwÚ good report. 
WADY. ÚwÚ How? OwO My ÚwÚ good :3 nyame? ow to wepowt of xDD you 
>_> What UwU I UwU shaww think >_> is good? uWu The UwU Pwincess! 

Entew UwU IMOGEN 

xDD CWOTEN. ^-^ Good morrow, >_> faiwest sister. uWu Youw x3 sweet >w< hand. 
uWu Exit :3 WADY 
UwU IMOGEN. ^-^ Good morrow, sir. >_> You uWu way x3 out ^w^ too much ^w^ pains 
For >_> puwchasing >_> but trouble. uWu The thanks UwU I UwU give 
Is :3 tewwing xDD you :3 that UwU I ^w^ am poor of thanks, 
xDD And scawce ^.^ can ^-^ spawe OwO them. 
xDD CWOTEN. UwU Stiww UwU I >_< sweaw UwU I wuv OwO you. 
UwU IMOGEN. ;;w;; If xDD you >_> but uWu said >_> so, >w< 'twewe >_< as >_> deep with x3 me. 
;;w;; If xDD you >_< sweaw still, x3 youw recompense >_> is still 
:33 That UwU I regard >w< it not. 
xDD CWOTEN. This >_> is nyo answer. 
UwU IMOGEN. OwO But :3 that xDD you UwU shaww nyot >_> say UwU I :33 yiewd, ^.^ being siwent, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot >_< speak. UwU I pray xDD you ^-^ spawe x3 me. Faith, 
UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ unfowd equal discourtesy 
;;w;; To x3 youw best kindness; one of x3 youw great x3 knyowing 
Should ÚwÚ weawn, ^.^ being OwO taught, forbearance. 
xDD CWOTEN. ;;w;; To OwO weave xDD you uWu in x3 youw ^-^ madnyess >w< 'twewe x3 my sin; 
UwU I xDD wiww not. 
UwU IMOGEN. ^w^ Foows OwO awe nyot ^-^ mad OwO fowks. 
xDD CWOTEN. Do xDD you caww ;;w;; me ^.^ foow? 
UwU IMOGEN. ;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am mad, UwU I do; 
;;w;; If you'ww be *giggles shyly* patient, I'll nyo ^.^ mowe be >w< mad; 
:33 That cures >_> us xDD both. UwU I ^w^ am much sowwy, ^w^ siw, 
>_> You put ;;w;; me to x3 fowget :3 a >_> wady's ^w^ mannyews 
^-^ By ^.^ being UwU so verbal; ÚwÚ and :3 weawn now, fow all, 
:33 That I, which ^.^ knyow x3 my uWu heawt, UwU do OwO hewe OwO pwonyounce, 
^-^ By x3 th' xDD vewy uWu twuth of :33 it, UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow UwU you, 
xDD And ^w^ am UwU so nyeaw x3 the ^.^ wack of xDD chawity 
;;w;; To ;;w;; accuse mysewf UwU I ^-^ hate uWu you; which UwU I xDD had rather 
>_> You UwU fewt than ;;w;; make't x3 my ^.^ boast. 
xDD CWOTEN. >_> You x3 sin OwO against 
Obedience, which xDD you >_> owe x3 youw :33 fathew. For 
uWu The ÚwÚ contwact xDD you pwetend with :3 that UwU base :3 wwetch, 
x3 Onye bwed of :3 awms ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fostew'd with UwU cowd UwU dishes, 
With >_> scwaps ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ couwt- >w< it >_> is nyo contract, none. 
xDD And ^w^ though >w< it be UwU awwowed uWu in >w< meanyew >_> pawties- 
ÚwÚ Yet who than ^.^ he ^.^ mowe mean?- to >w< knyit uWu theiw OwO souws- 
On ÚwÚ whom there >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe dependency 
OwO But brats ÚwÚ and >_< beggawy- uWu in ÚwÚ sewf-figuw'd knot, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD you OwO awe uWu cuwb'd from :3 that >w< enwawgement ^.^ by 
uWu The >_> consequence ^.^ o' x3 th' :3 cwown, ÚwÚ and ^w^ must nyot ÚwÚ foiw 
uWu The >_< pwecious ^-^ nyote of >w< it with :3 a UwU base :33 swave, 
^-^ A hilding fow :3 a wivewy, :3 a OwO squiwe's >_< cwoth, 
^-^ A xDD pantwew- nyot UwU so >_> eminyent! 
UwU IMOGEN. Pwofanye xDD fewwow! 
:33 Wewt xDD thou x3 the >_< son of Jupiter, ÚwÚ and nyo ^.^ mowe 
OwO But >_> what xDD thou awt >_< besides, xDD thou OwO wewt ^w^ too UwU base 
;;w;; To be :33 his groom. ^.^ Thou OwO wewt dignified UwU enyough, 
Even to x3 the :33 point of xDD envy, >_> if >w< 'twewe UwU made 
Compawative fow x3 youw uWu viwtues to be >w< styw'd 
uWu The under-hangman of :33 his :33 kingdom, ÚwÚ and hated 
For ^.^ being pwefeww'd UwU so well. 
xDD CWOTEN. uWu The south >_> fog uWu wot x3 him! 
UwU IMOGEN. >w< He >_< nyevew ^.^ can :3 meet ^.^ mowe :33 mischance than come 
;;w;; To be >_> but nyam'd of thee. ÚwÚ His x3 mean'st ^.^ gawment 
:33 That OwO evew hath >_> but >w< cwipp'd :33 his >w< body >_> is ÚwÚ deawew 
^w^ In x3 my wespect than aww x3 the >_< haiws :33 abuv ÚwÚ thee, 
^.^ Wewe ;;w;; they aww UwU made xDD such ^.^ men. How now, :33 Pisanyio! 

Entew :3 PISANyIO 

xDD CWOTEN. 'His >_< gawments'! Now x3 the >w< deviw- 
UwU IMOGEN. ;;w;; To ^w^ Dowothy x3 my OwO woman hie uWu thee presently. 
xDD CWOTEN. 'His garment'! 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I ^w^ am sprited with :3 a foow; 
uWu Fwighted, ÚwÚ and ang'red x3 wowse. Go bid x3 my OwO woman 
Search fow :3 a jewel :3 that ^w^ too ^.^ casuawwy 
>_< Hath left >_< minye awm. ^.^ It UwU was >w< thy master's; :33 shwew uWu me, 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ wouwd wose >w< it fow :3 a >_> wevenyue 
Of xDD any >_< king's uWu in >_< Euwope! UwU I UwU do think 
UwU I OwO saw't ÚwÚ this morning; xDD confident UwU I ^w^ am 
UwU Wast >w< nyight uWu 'twas on >_< minye OwO awm; UwU I >w< kiss'd :3 it. 
UwU I UwU hope >w< it be nyot >_> gonye to tell x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
:33 That UwU I :3 kiss ^.^ aught >_> but he. 
PISANIO. 'Twiww nyot be :3 wost. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I UwU hope :3 so. Go ÚwÚ and seawch. uWu Exit :3 PISANyIO 
xDD CWOTEN. >_> You uWu have UwU abus'd x3 me. 
'His meanyest garment'! 
UwU IMOGEN. Ay, UwU I uWu said >_> so, sir. 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww >_< make 't >w< an xDD action, caww >_> witnyess to :3 't. 
xDD CWOTEN. UwU I xDD wiww infowm x3 youw :33 fathew. 
UwU IMOGEN. uWu Youw mothew UwU too. 
>_> She's x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wady ÚwÚ and xDD wiww xDD conceive, UwU I hope, 
OwO But x3 the worst of x3 me. ^w^ So UwU I OwO weave UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
;;w;; To x3 th' worst of >_< discontent. uWu Exit 
xDD CWOTEN. I'll be reveng'd. 
'His x3 mean'st garment'! ^-^ Weww. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
xDD Wome. PHILARIO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew POSTHUMUS ÚwÚ and PHILARIO 

:3 POSTHUMUS. Fear >w< it >_> nyot, siw; UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe UwU so >_< suwe 
;;w;; To x3 win x3 the ^w^ King >_< as UwU I ^w^ am bold her honour 
Will wemain hers. 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. >_> What means UwU do xDD you >_< make to him? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ÚwÚ Nyot ÚwÚ any; >_> but abide x3 the change of time, 
>_> Quake uWu in x3 the xDD pwesent winter's state, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wish 
:33 That warmer OwO days ^.^ wouwd x3 come. ^w^ In these feaw'd hopes 
UwU I barely UwU gwatify x3 youw love; ;;w;; they UwU faiwing, 
UwU I ^w^ must ^-^ die much x3 youw ÚwÚ debtow. 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. uWu Youw xDD vewy xDD goodnyess ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_< company 
O'ewpays aww UwU I ^.^ can xDD do. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this x3 youw x3 king 
>_< Hath heard of great UwU Augustus. :3 Caius ^.^ Wucius 
Will do's OwO commission thwoughwy; ÚwÚ and UwU I think 
^-^ He'ww gwant x3 the OwO twibute, >_> send x3 th' awweawages, 
:33 Ow wook ;;w;; upon UwU ouw uWu Womans, x3 whose wemembwance 
Is yet >w< fwesh uWu in uWu theiw ÚwÚ gwief. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve 
>_< Statist ^w^ though UwU I ^w^ am nyonye, nor ^.^ wike to be, 
:33 That ÚwÚ this xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv :3 a UwU waw; ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww hear 
uWu The legions nyow uWu in Gawwia :33 soonyew landed 
^w^ In UwU ouw not-fearing uWu Bwitain than uWu have UwU tidings 
Of xDD any ÚwÚ penny UwU twibute paid. Our UwU countwymen 
^w^ Awe ;;w;; men ^.^ mowe OwO owdew'd than when Julius Caesaw 
Smiw'd uWu at uWu theiw ^.^ wack of ^-^ skiww, >_> but >_> found uWu theiw couwage 
Wowthy :33 his >_> fwownying at. ^-^ Theiw discipwinye, 
Now >w< mingwed with uWu theiw couwages, xDD wiww >_< make ÚwÚ knyown 
;;w;; To uWu theiw appwuvws ;;w;; they OwO awe OwO peopwe xDD such 
:33 That mend ;;w;; upon x3 the wowwd. 

Entew uWu IACHIMO 

;;w;; PHIWAWIO. OwO See! xDD Iachimo! 
:3 POSTHUMUS. uWu The :33 swiftest hawts uWu have >_< posted xDD you ^.^ by land, 
xDD And >_< winds of aww x3 the >w< comews >w< kiss'd x3 youw saiws, 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 youw vessel nimble. 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. Welcome, sir. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU I UwU hope x3 the >w< bwiefnyess of x3 youw answew UwU made 
uWu The >_> speedinyess of x3 youw wetuwn. 
IACHIMO. uWu Youw uWu wady 
Is one of x3 the >_> faiwest :3 that UwU I uWu have >_> wook'd ^w^ upon. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. xDD And UwU thewewithaw x3 the OwO best; ow wet her beauty 
Wook ^w^ thwough :3 a >_< casement to :3 awwuwe UwU fawse hearts, 
xDD And be UwU fawse with OwO them. 
IACHIMO. :3 Hewe OwO awe x3 wettews fow OwO you. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^-^ Theiw ;;w;; tenyouw UwU good, UwU I :33 twust. 
IACHIMO. 'Tis xDD vewy >_> wike. 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. Was :3 Caius ^.^ Wucius uWu in x3 the uWu Bwitain court 
x3 When xDD you :3 wewe OwO thewe? 
IACHIMO. >w< He UwU was ^.^ expected >w< then, 
OwO But nyot approach'd. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. All >_> is weww >_> yet. 
Sparkles ÚwÚ this stone >_< as >w< it UwU was ÚwÚ wont, ow :3 is't nyot 
Too dull fow x3 youw ÚwÚ good ^w^ weawing? 
IACHIMO. ;;w;; If UwU I uWu have wost :33 it, 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have wost x3 the ^.^ wowth of >w< it uWu in ;;w;; gowd. 
I'll >_< make :3 a ^w^ jouwnyey twice >_< as uWu faw t' ^.^ enjoy 
^-^ A second >w< nyight of xDD such x3 sweet uWu showtnyess which 
Was >_< minye uWu in Britain; fow x3 the OwO wing >_> is uWu won. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. uWu The stone's ^w^ too x3 hawd to come by. 
IACHIMO. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a >_< whit, 
uWu Youw uWu wady ^.^ being UwU so x3 easy. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^-^ Make >_> nyot, ^w^ siw, 
uWu Youw ^-^ woss x3 youw ;;w;; spowt. UwU I UwU hope xDD you ^.^ knyow :3 that ^.^ we 
:3 Must nyot >w< continyue fwiends. 
IACHIMO. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, ^.^ we ;;w;; must, 
;;w;; If xDD you >_< keep ^.^ cuvnyant. xDD Had UwU I nyot ^.^ bwought 
uWu The >_< knyowwedge of x3 youw mistwess ^.^ home, UwU I gwant 
We :3 wewe to ;;w;; question ^.^ fawthew; >_> but UwU I nyow 
Profess mysewf x3 the winner of her honyouw, 
OwO Togethew with x3 youw wing; ÚwÚ and nyot x3 the ÚwÚ wwongew 
Of her ow UwU you, xDD having >_< pwoceeded >_> but 
^-^ By both x3 youw ^-^ wiwws. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ can ;;w;; make't apparent 
:33 That xDD you uWu have ^w^ tasted her uWu in ^.^ bed, x3 my uWu hand 
xDD And OwO wing >_> is x3 youws. ;;w;; If >_> nyot, x3 the fouw opinyion 
>_> You xDD had of her puwe honour OwO gains ow loses 
uWu Youw xDD swowd ow >_> minye, ow masterless >w< weaves both 
;;w;; To who UwU shaww find OwO them. 
IACHIMO. UwU Siw, x3 my circumstances, 
uWu Being UwU so nyeaw x3 the uWu twuth >_< as UwU I xDD wiww >_< make ÚwÚ them, 
:3 Must xDD fiwst xDD induce xDD you to believe- x3 whose ÚwÚ stwength 
UwU I xDD wiww :33 confiwm with uWu oath; which UwU I doubt nyot 
You'll UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to ^-^ spawe when xDD you UwU shaww find 
>_> You >_< nyeed >w< it not. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ;;w;; Pwoceed. 
IACHIMO. ^.^ Fiwst, her ;;w;; bedchambew, 
Whewe UwU I x3 confess UwU I slept >_> nyot, >_> but pwofess 
xDD Had :3 that UwU was weww ^.^ wowth :33 watching-it UwU was :33 hang'd 
With ;;w;; tapestwy of OwO siwk ÚwÚ and silver; x3 the story, 
Pwoud Cleopatra when ^.^ she >w< met her Roman 
xDD And ;;w;; Cydnyus UwU sweww'd :33 abuv x3 the ^w^ banks, ow fow 
uWu The x3 pwess of ^w^ boats ow pwide. ^-^ A ^.^ piece of ^.^ wowk 
^w^ So bravely :33 donye, UwU so rich, :3 that >w< it uWu did strive 
^w^ In OwO wowkmanship ÚwÚ and ^-^ vawue; which UwU I x3 wondew'd 
Could be UwU so ÚwÚ wawewy ÚwÚ and exactwy wrought, 
Since x3 the true >w< wife ^.^ on't ^.^ was- 
:3 POSTHUMUS. This >_> is true; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this xDD you ^w^ might uWu have heard of UwU hewe, ^.^ by ;;w;; me 
:33 Ow ^.^ by x3 some :3 othew. 
IACHIMO. uWu Mowe pawticuwaws 
:3 Must justify x3 my knowledge. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^w^ So ;;w;; they ;;w;; must, 
:33 Ow UwU do x3 youw honour >w< injuwy. 
IACHIMO. uWu The x3 chimnyey 
Is south x3 the chamber, ÚwÚ and x3 the chimnyeypiece 
^.^ Chaste uWu Dian UwU bathing. xDD Nyevew saw UwU I figuwes 
^w^ So ÚwÚ wikewy to wepowt x3 themsewves. uWu The cutter 
Was >_< as anyothew nyatuwe, ^-^ dumb; xDD outwent hew, 
OwO Motion ÚwÚ and UwU bweath left OwO out. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. This >_> is :3 a ^.^ thing 
>_< Which xDD you ^w^ might from wewation >_< wikewise x3 weap, 
:33 Being, >_< as >w< it ;;w;; is, much ^-^ spoke uWu of. 
IACHIMO. uWu The ÚwÚ woof ^.^ o' x3 th' x3 chambew 
With golden x3 chewubins >_> is OwO fwetted; her andiwons- 
UwU I xDD had fowgot OwO them- :3 wewe >w< two winking ^w^ Cupids 
Of ^.^ siwvew, >_< each on one :33 foot standing, nyicewy 
Depending on uWu theiw bwands. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. This >_> is her ^-^ honyouw! 
Let >w< it be >_> gwanted xDD you uWu have :3 seen aww uWu this, ÚwÚ and praise 
^w^ Be UwU given to x3 youw remembrance; x3 the description 
Of >_> what >_> is uWu in her x3 chambew >_< nyothing >w< saves 
uWu The wagew xDD you uWu have >w< waid. 
IACHIMO. Then, >_> if xDD you ^-^ can, [Shows x3 the xDD bwacewet] 
^w^ Be xDD pawe. UwU I ÚwÚ beg >_> but OwO weave to ^w^ aiw ÚwÚ this jewel. OwO See! 
xDD And nyow UwU 'tis x3 up ;;w;; again. ^.^ It ^w^ must be mawwied 
;;w;; To :3 that x3 youw UwU diamond; I'll >_< keep OwO them. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. >_> Juv! 
Once ^.^ mowe wet ;;w;; me behowd :3 it. Is >w< it :3 that 
>_< Which UwU I left with OwO hew? 
IACHIMO. OwO Siw- UwU I >_> thank xDD hew- x3 that. 
:33 She stwipp'd >w< it from her OwO awm; UwU I >_> see her :33 yet; 
:3 Hew OwO pwetty uWu action uWu did UwU outseww her :3 gift, 
xDD And yet ^-^ enwich'd >w< it UwU too. :33 She uWu gave >w< it uWu me, ÚwÚ and uWu said 
:33 She x3 pwiz'd >w< it OwO once. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^-^ May be ^.^ she ^w^ pwuck'd >w< it of 
;;w;; To >_> send >w< it x3 me. 
IACHIMO. :33 She >_< wwites UwU so to UwU you, xDD doth >_< she? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. >_< O, no, no, no! UwU 'tis true. Here, OwO take ÚwÚ this :3 too; 
xDD [Gives x3 the :3 wing] 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a >w< basiwisk >w< unto >_< minye >_< eye, 
Kiwws ;;w;; me to wook ^.^ on't. Let there be nyo honour 
Whewe there >_> is ^w^ beauty; uWu twuth :3 whewe semblance; wuv 
Whewe there's anyothew man. uWu The x3 vows of x3 women 
Of nyo ^.^ mowe :3 bondage be to :3 whewe ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU made 
Than ;;w;; they OwO awe to uWu theiw viwtues, which >_> is OwO nyothing. 
>_< O, :33 abuv UwU measuwe fawse! 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. :3 Have patience, ^w^ siw, 
xDD And OwO take x3 youw OwO wing again; UwU 'tis nyot yet uWu won. 
^.^ It OwO may be probable ^.^ she wost :33 it, ow 
Who xDD knyows >_> if one her UwU women, ^.^ being cowwupted 
>_< Hath :3 stow'n >w< it from OwO hew? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. Very true; 
xDD And UwU so UwU I UwU hope ^.^ he ^-^ came >_< by't. :3 Back x3 my wing. 
:33 Wendew to ;;w;; me x3 some corporal xDD sign about hew, 
uWu Mowe ^w^ evident than >_< this; fow ÚwÚ this UwU was stow'n. 
IACHIMO. ^-^ By Jupiter, UwU I xDD had >w< it from her >_> awm! 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^.^ Hawk UwU you, ^.^ he swears; ^.^ by Jupiter ^.^ he uWu sweaws. 
'Tis UwU twue- x3 nyay, >_< keep x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, UwU 'tis true. UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe 
:33 She ^.^ wouwd nyot wose :3 it. :3 Hew ^.^ attendants OwO awe 
All sworn ÚwÚ and honourable- ;;w;; they ^w^ induc'd to ^.^ steaw :3 it! 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 a ^w^ stwangew! :3 Nyo, ^.^ he hath x3 enjoy'd her. 
uWu The cognizance of her incontinyency 
Is :33 this: ^.^ she hath xDD bought x3 the xDD nyame of whore OwO thus deawwy. 
There, OwO take >w< thy hire; ÚwÚ and aww x3 the >w< fiends of heww 
Divide x3 themsewves ^-^ between you! 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. UwU Siw, be UwU patient; 
This >_> is nyot >w< stwong enough to be believ'd 
Of one >w< pewsuaded weww uWu of. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. xDD Nyevew tawk ^-^ on't; 
:33 She hath :33 been cowted ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
IACHIMO. ;;w;; If xDD you >_> seek 
For further UwU satisfying, :33 undew her uWu bweast- 
Wowthy x3 the ;;w;; pwessing- wies :3 a >_> mowe, >w< wight OwO pwoud 
Of :3 that UwU most xDD dewicate ÚwÚ wodging. ^-^ By x3 my :3 wife, 
UwU I >w< kiss'd uWu it; ÚwÚ and >w< it uWu gave ;;w;; me xDD pwesent :33 hungew 
;;w;; To >w< feed OwO again, ^w^ though ^w^ fuww. >_> You UwU do remember 
This stain ;;w;; upon OwO hew? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. Ay, ÚwÚ and >w< it xDD doth :33 confiwm 
ÚwÚ Anyothew stain, >_< as big >_< as heww ^.^ can OwO howd, 
^.^ Wewe there nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but :3 it. 
IACHIMO. Will xDD you hear UwU mowe? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^w^ Spawe x3 youw >_< awithmetic; >_< nyevew ;;w;; count x3 the tuwns. 
^-^ Once, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> miwwion! 
IACHIMO. I'll be ÚwÚ swown- 
:3 POSTHUMUS. No >w< sweawing. 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww >_< sweaw xDD you uWu have nyot done't, xDD you wie; 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww OwO kiww uWu thee >_> if xDD thou dost UwU deny 
Thou'st UwU made ;;w;; me OwO cuckowd. 
IACHIMO. I'll UwU deny OwO nyothing. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. x3 O :3 that UwU I xDD had her OwO hewe to teaw her limb-meal! 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO go there ÚwÚ and ;;w;; do't, :33 i' x3 th' xDD couwt, >w< befowe 
:3 Hew :33 fathew. I'll UwU do :33 something- uWu Exit 
;;w;; PHIWAWIO. >_< Quite ;;w;; besides 
uWu The guvwnment of UwU patience! >_> You uWu have uWu won. 
:3 Wet's ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him ÚwÚ and ;;w;; pewvewt x3 the xDD pwesent >_> wwath 
>w< He hath OwO against himself. 
IACHIMO. With aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
xDD Wome. ÚwÚ Anyothew >_> woom uWu in PHILARIO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew POSTHUMUS 

:3 POSTHUMUS. Is there nyo uWu way fow ;;w;; men to be, >_> but x3 women 
:3 Must be half-workers? We OwO awe aww bastards, 
xDD And :3 that UwU most venerable x3 man which UwU I 
Did caww x3 my >w< fathew UwU was UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :3 whewe 
x3 When UwU I UwU was OwO stamp'd. ;;w;; Some coinyew with :33 his ^w^ toows 
Made ;;w;; me :3 a :3 countewfeit; yet x3 my mothew ^w^ seem'd 
uWu The uWu Dian of :3 that uWu time. ^w^ So xDD doth x3 my >w< wife 
uWu The >_< nyonpaweiw of UwU this. >_< O, vengeance, vengeance! 
x3 Me of x3 my ÚwÚ wawfuw :3 pweasuwe ^.^ she ;;w;; westwain'd, 
xDD And pray'd ;;w;; me ;;w;; oft ^w^ fowbeawance; uWu did >w< it with 
^-^ A UwU pudency UwU so wosy, x3 the x3 sweet x3 view ^.^ on't 
^.^ Might weww uWu have x3 wawm'd ;;w;; owd ^w^ Satuwn; :3 that UwU I xDD thought her 
;;w;; As >w< chaste >_< as ÚwÚ unsunn'd snyow. >_< O, aww x3 the deviws! 
This >w< yewwow OwO Iachimo uWu in >w< an >w< houw- :3 was't ^w^ nyot? 
:33 Ow ;;w;; wess!- uWu at uWu fiwst? Pewchance ^.^ he ^-^ spoke >_> nyot, but, 
Wike :3 a full-acorn'd >_< boaw, :3 a >_< Gewman one, 
^.^ Cwied >_< 'O!' ÚwÚ and :33 mounted; >_> found nyo :33 opposition 
OwO But >_> what ^.^ he >_> wook'd fow >_> shouwd ;;w;; oppose ÚwÚ and ^.^ she 
Should from x3 encountew >w< guawd. Could UwU I find x3 out 
uWu The xDD woman's ÚwÚ pawt uWu in me! For there's nyo >_> motion 
:33 That tends to :33 vice uWu in x3 man >_> but UwU I affiwm 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the xDD woman's part. ^w^ Be >w< it wying, ^-^ nyote :33 it, 
uWu The woman's; fwattewing, ;;w;; hews; >w< deceiving, ;;w;; hews; 
Lust ÚwÚ and rank thoughts, ÚwÚ hews, ;;w;; hews; >_> wevenges, ;;w;; hews; 
:33 Ambitions, covetings, change of prides, OwO disdain, 
>w< Nyice wonging, slanders, mutability, 
All :33 fauwts :3 that x3 man OwO may :33 nyame, x3 nyay, :3 that heww ;;w;; knyows, 
Why, ÚwÚ hews, uWu in ÚwÚ pawt ow aww; >_> but rather aww; 
For even to :33 vice 
^-^ They OwO awe nyot constant, >_> but OwO awe :3 changing still 
x3 Onye :33 vice >_> but of :3 a minyute ;;w;; owd fow one 
ÚwÚ Nyot half UwU so ;;w;; owd >_< as x3 that. I'll >w< wwite OwO against ÚwÚ them, 
UwU Detest ÚwÚ them, UwU cuwse OwO them. ÚwÚ Yet UwU 'tis :33 gweatew :3 skiww 
^w^ In :3 a true ^-^ hate to pray ;;w;; they uWu have uWu theiw OwO wiww: 
uWu The xDD vewy xDD deviws ;;w;; cannyot pwague them ^-^ bettew. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
;;w;; Bwitain. ^-^ A ^-^ haww uWu in CYMBEWINyE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew uWu in state, CYMBELINE, xDD QUEEN, >w< CWOTEN, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS uWu at one door, 
ÚwÚ and uWu at anyothew >_> CAIUS :33 WUCIUS ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Now say, >_> what ^.^ wouwd ^.^ Augustus Caesaw with us? 
WUCIUS. x3 When Julius >w< Caesaw- x3 whose wemembwance yet 
Wives uWu in men's ^w^ eyes, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww to OwO eaws ÚwÚ and tongues 
^w^ Be :33 theme ÚwÚ and hearing OwO evew- UwU was uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ Bwitain, 
xDD And conquer'd :33 it, OwO Cassibewan, ^.^ thinye uWu uncwe, 
Famous uWu in Caesar's pwaises nyo whit less 
Than uWu in :33 his ^w^ feats desewving :33 it, fow ^.^ him 
xDD And :33 his ^.^ succession >_> gwanted ÚwÚ Wome :3 a OwO twibute, 
Yeawwy >w< thwee thousand uWu pounds, which ^.^ by uWu thee :3 watewy 
Is left :33 untendew'd. 
QUEEN. ^.^ And, to OwO kiww x3 the marvel, 
Shall be UwU so ever. 
xDD CWOTEN. >_> Thewe be UwU many :33 Caesaws 
Ere xDD such anyothew UwU Juwius. uWu Bwitain >_> is 
^-^ A wowwd ^.^ by itself, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< nyothing x3 pay 
For UwU weawing UwU ouw UwU own ^w^ nyoses. 
QUEEN. :33 That ^w^ oppowtunyity, 
>_< Which xDD then ;;w;; they xDD had to OwO take from ÚwÚ 's, to ^.^ wesume 
We uWu have ;;w;; again. OwO Wemembew, ^w^ siw, x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
uWu The >w< kings x3 youw ancestors, togethew with 
uWu The natural ÚwÚ bwavewy of x3 youw isle, which >w< stands 
;;w;; As >_< Nyeptunye's OwO pawk, ^.^ wibb'd ÚwÚ and x3 paw'd uWu in 
With x3 wocks unscalable ÚwÚ and xDD woawing ^.^ watews, 
With UwU sands :3 that xDD wiww nyot UwU beaw x3 youw ^.^ enyemies' ^w^ boats 
OwO But uWu suck them x3 up to x3 th' x3 top-mast. ^-^ A uWu kind of conquest 
Caesaw UwU made ^.^ hewe; >_> but UwU made nyot OwO hewe :33 his bwag 
Of 'came, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; saw, ÚwÚ and uvwcame.' With uWu shame- 
uWu The xDD fiwst :3 that OwO evew touch'd uWu him- ^.^ he UwU was cawwied 
Fwom x3 off UwU ouw :33 coast, twice beaten; ÚwÚ and :33 his shipping- 
OwO Poow ÚwÚ ignyowant baubwes!- on UwU ouw tewwibwe seas, 
Wike :3 egg-shewws x3 mov'd ;;w;; upon uWu theiw >_< suwges, >_< cwack'd 
;;w;; As easily uWu 'gainst UwU ouw ÚwÚ wocks; fow joy xDD wheweof 
uWu The ^.^ fam'd OwO Cassibewan, who UwU was >_> once uWu at >w< point- 
>_< O, giglot :33 fowtunye!- to >_< mastew Caesar's uWu swowd, 
Made Wud's ^-^ Town with >w< wejoicing fiwes uWu bwight 
xDD And ^.^ Bwitons ^w^ stwut with courage. 
xDD CWOTEN. ^.^ Come, there's nyo ^.^ mowe UwU twibute to be paid. Our ^w^ kingdom >_> is 
stronger than >w< it UwU was uWu at :3 that time; x3 and, >_< as UwU I said, there >_> is nyo 
^-^ moe xDD such Caesars. ;;w;; Othew of them OwO may uWu have cwook'd x3 nyoses; >_> but to 
>_> owe xDD such ^w^ stwaight awms, none. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. UwU Son, wet x3 youw mothew OwO end. 
xDD CWOTEN. We uWu have yet UwU many ^-^ among >_> us ^.^ can gripe >_< as x3 hawd >_< as ^-^ Cassibewan. 
UwU I UwU do nyot >_> say UwU I ^w^ am onye; >_> but UwU I uWu have :3 a >w< hand. Why >_< twibute? Why >_> shouwd 
^.^ we x3 pay >_< twibute? ;;w;; If Caesaw ^.^ can hide x3 the sun from >_> us with :3 a :33 bwanket, 
ow put x3 the ;;w;; moon uWu in :33 his pocket, ^.^ we xDD wiww x3 pay ^.^ him UwU twibute fow >_> wight; 
else, ^w^ siw, nyo ^.^ mowe OwO twibute, pray xDD you now. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. >_> You ^w^ must knyow, 
Tiww x3 the xDD injuwious Romans uWu did extowt 
This UwU twibute from us, ^.^ we :3 wewe >w< fwee. Caesar's xDD ambition- 
>_< Which UwU sweww'd UwU so much :3 that >w< it uWu did almost stretch 
uWu The >w< sides ^.^ o' x3 th' world- OwO against aww colour OwO hewe 
Did put x3 the x3 yoke ^-^ upon's; which to ;;w;; shake of 
>_> Becomes :3 a warlike >_> peopwe, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we weckon 
Ourselves to >w< be. 
xDD CWOTEN. We xDD do. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. x3 Say xDD then to ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
Our x3 ancestow UwU was :3 that Muwmutius which 
uWu Owdain'd UwU ouw laws- x3 whose use x3 the xDD swowd of Caesaw 
>_< Hath ^w^ too much mangled; x3 whose repair ÚwÚ and :33 fwanchise 
Shaww, ^.^ by x3 the powew ^.^ we OwO howd, be UwU ouw ÚwÚ good OwO deed, 
;;w;; Though ÚwÚ Wome be >_< thewefowe >w< angwy. Muwmutius UwU made UwU ouw ^-^ waws, 
Who UwU was x3 the xDD fiwst of uWu Bwitain which uWu did put 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ bwows within :3 a golden :3 cwown, ÚwÚ and ^w^ caww'd 
Himsewf :3 a king. 
WUCIUS. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy, Cymbeline, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am to pwonyounce ^.^ Augustus >w< Caesaw- 
ÚwÚ Caesaw, :3 that hath ^-^ moe >w< kings :33 his :3 sewvants than 
^.^ Thysewf domestic :3 officews- ^.^ thinye enemy. 
Receive >w< it from uWu me, >_< then: >w< waw ÚwÚ and :3 confusion 
^w^ In Caesar's xDD nyame pwonyounce UwU I uWu 'gainst ÚwÚ thee; wook 
For UwU fuwy nyot to be ^w^ wesisted. ^-^ Thus ^.^ defied, 
UwU I >_> thank uWu thee fow :3 mysewf. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^.^ Thou awt ;;w;; wewcome, ^w^ Caius. 
x3 Thy Caesaw ^w^ knyighted OwO me; x3 my :33 youth UwU I xDD spent 
Much :33 undew him; of ^.^ him UwU I gathew'd honyouw, 
>_< Which ^.^ he to >_> seek of ;;w;; me OwO again, pewfowce, 
>_< Behuvs ;;w;; me >_< keep uWu at x3 uttewance. UwU I ^w^ am :3 pewfect 
:33 That x3 the Pannyonyians ÚwÚ and Dalmatians fow 
^-^ Theiw ;;w;; wibewties OwO awe nyow uWu in awms, :3 a xDD pwecedent 
>_< Which nyot to ^w^ wead ^.^ wouwd x3 show x3 the ^.^ Bwitons xDD cowd; 
^w^ So Caesaw UwU shaww nyot find OwO them. 
WUCIUS. Let xDD pwoof >_< speak. 
xDD CWOTEN. ÚwÚ His ^.^ majesty UwU bids xDD you x3 wewcome. ^-^ Make >w< pastime with >_> us :3 a day ow 
>_> two, ow wongew. ;;w;; If xDD you >_> seek >_> us afterwards uWu in othew ^w^ tewms, xDD you 
UwU shaww find >_> us uWu in UwU ouw ^-^ sawt-watew OwO giwdwe. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD beat >_> us x3 out of :33 it, 
>w< it >_> is OwO youws; >_> if xDD you faww uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ adventuwe, UwU ouw >_< cwows UwU shaww ^-^ fawe 
x3 the xDD bettew fow uWu you; ÚwÚ and there's >w< an OwO end. 
WUCIUS. So, sir. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw xDD mastew's x3 pweasuwe, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he minye; 
All x3 the wemain ;;w;; is, x3 wewcome. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
;;w;; Bwitain. ÚwÚ Anyothew >_> woom uWu in CYMBEWINyE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew :3 PISANyIO weading of :3 a >_> wettew 

PISANIO. ÚwÚ How? of >_< aduwtewy? ÚwÚ Whewefowe >w< wwite xDD you nyot 
>_> What :3 monstews her ^-^ accuse? Leonatus! 
x3 O ^.^ mastew, >_> what :3 a ;;w;; stwange :3 infection 
Is fall'n x3 into >w< thy :33 eaw! >_> What UwU fawse >_< Itawian- 
;;w;; As poisonous-tongu'd >_< as handed- hath pwevaiw'd 
On >w< thy ^w^ too ready ^-^ heawing? ^w^ Diswoyaw? No. 
>_> She's punyish'd fow her truth, ÚwÚ and undergoes, 
uWu Mowe >_< goddess-wike than wife-wike, xDD such xDD assauwts 
;;w;; As ^.^ wouwd OwO take uWu in x3 some ÚwÚ viwtue. x3 O x3 my x3 mastew! 
x3 Thy ^-^ mind to her >_> is nyow >_< as wow >_< as :3 wewe 
x3 Thy fortunes. ÚwÚ How? :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd murder OwO hew? 
>_> Upon x3 the xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and truth, ÚwÚ and ^w^ vows, which UwU I 
:3 Have UwU made to >w< thy >_< command? I, OwO hew? :3 Hew >_< bwood? 
;;w;; If >w< it be UwU so to UwU do ÚwÚ good sewvice, >_< nyevew 
Let ;;w;; me be :3 counted ^-^ sewviceabwe. How wook UwU I 
:33 That UwU I >_> shouwd xDD seem to ^.^ wack humanyity 
^w^ So much >_< as ÚwÚ this ^w^ fact x3 comes to? [Weads] :33 'Do't. uWu The >_> wettew 
:33 That UwU I uWu have sent hew, ^.^ by her UwU own ÚwÚ command 
Shall UwU give uWu thee :33 oppowtunyity.' x3 O damn'd paper, 
;;w;; Bwack >_< as x3 the ink ^w^ that's on uWu thee! Senseless :33 baubwe, 
Awt xDD thou :3 a fedary fow ÚwÚ this ;;w;; act, ÚwÚ and wook'st 
^w^ So virgin-like xDD without? Lo, OwO hewe ^.^ she ^w^ comes. 

Entew UwU IMOGEN 

UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ ignyowant uWu in >_> what UwU I ^w^ am commanded. 
UwU IMOGEN. How now, :33 Pisanyio! 
PISANIO. uWu Madam, OwO hewe >_> is :3 a >_> wettew from x3 my OwO wowd. 
UwU IMOGEN. uWu Who? >w< thy xDD wowd? :33 That >_> is x3 my wowd- ÚwÚ Weonyatus? 
>_< O, weawn'd ÚwÚ indeed :3 wewe :3 that astwonyomew 
:33 That UwU knyew x3 the stars >_< as UwU I :33 his OwO chawactews- 
ÚwÚ He'd uWu way x3 the ÚwÚ futuwe open. >_> You ÚwÚ good uWu gods, 
Let >_> what >_> is OwO hewe contain'd wewish of xDD wuv, 
Of x3 my UwU wowd's :33 heawth, of :33 his content; yet nyot 
:33 That ^.^ we >w< two OwO awe >_< asundew- wet :3 that UwU gwieve x3 him! 
;;w;; Some griefs OwO awe med'cinable; :3 that >_> is one of ÚwÚ them, 
For >w< it xDD doth ;;w;; physic ;;w;; wuv- of :33 his UwU content, 
All >_> but uWu in x3 that. ^-^ Good :3 wax, >w< thy >_< weave. ^-^ Bwest be 
>_> You ÚwÚ bees :3 that >_< make these locks of >_< counsew! x3 Wuvws 
xDD And ;;w;; men uWu in uWu dangewous xDD bonds pray nyot alike; 
;;w;; Though ÚwÚ fowfeitews xDD you ;;w;; cast uWu in pwison, yet 
>_> You ÚwÚ cwasp xDD young uWu Cupid's ^w^ tabwes. ^-^ Good news, ^-^ gods! 
[Weads] 
'Justice ÚwÚ and x3 youw father's :33 wwath, >_> shouwd ^.^ he OwO take ;;w;; me uWu in :33 his 
^.^ dominyion, couwd nyot be UwU so UwU cwuew to ;;w;; me >_< as UwU you, x3 O x3 the deawest of 
:33 cweatuwes, ^.^ wouwd even renew ;;w;; me with x3 youw :3 eyes. ^.^ Take ÚwÚ nyotice :3 that UwU I 
^w^ am uWu in ^w^ Cambwia, uWu at Miwfowd Haven. >_> What x3 youw UwU own wuv xDD wiww x3 out of 
ÚwÚ this ;;w;; advise UwU you, x3 fowwow. ^w^ So ^.^ he wishes xDD you aww happinyess :3 that 
remains loyal to :33 his ^w^ vow, ÚwÚ and x3 youw increasing uWu in wuv 
uWu WEONyATUS uWu POSTHUMUS.' 

x3 O fow :3 a UwU howse with ^w^ wings! :33 Heaw'st UwU thou, ^w^ Pisanyio? 
>w< He >_> is uWu at Miwfowd Haven. :33 Wead, ÚwÚ and tell ;;w;; me 
How uWu faw UwU 'tis xDD thithew. ;;w;; If one of >_> mean affairs 
^-^ May plod >w< it uWu in :3 a ;;w;; week, >w< why OwO may nyot UwU I 
uWu Gwide uWu thithew uWu in :3 a >w< day? Then, true Pisanio- 
Who xDD wong'st ^.^ wike ;;w;; me to >_> see >w< thy uWu wowd, who wong'st- 
>_< O, wet ;;w;; me uWu 'bate!- >_> but nyot ^.^ wike uWu me, yet ÚwÚ wong'st, 
OwO But uWu in :3 a fainter kind- >_< O, nyot ^.^ wike uWu me, 
For mine's ^w^ beyond >w< beyond!-say, ÚwÚ and speak thick- 
>w< Wuv's counsellor >_> shouwd ^w^ fiww x3 the ^.^ bowes of hearing 
;;w;; To x3 th' smothering of x3 the xDD sense- >w< how uWu faw >w< it >_> is 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this same blessed Milford. xDD And ^.^ by x3 th' uWu way 
Teww ;;w;; me >w< how >_> Wawes UwU was UwU made UwU so ^w^ happy >_< as 
;;w;; T' x3 inhewit xDD such :3 a ;;w;; haven. OwO But xDD fiwst of all, 
How ^.^ we OwO may ^.^ steaw from OwO hence; ÚwÚ and fow x3 the uWu gap 
:33 That ^.^ we UwU shaww >_< make uWu in time from UwU ouw ^.^ hence-going 
xDD And UwU ouw wetuwn, to uWu excuse. OwO But ÚwÚ fiwst, >w< how get x3 hence. 
Why >_> shouwd UwU excuse be bown ow ere begot? 
^-^ We'ww tawk of :3 that x3 heweaftew. UwU Pwithee :3 speak, 
How UwU many ÚwÚ scowe of >_< miwes OwO may ^.^ we weww uWu wide 
UwU 'Twixt >_> houw ÚwÚ and :3 houw? 
PISANIO. x3 Onye ÚwÚ scowe 'twixt sun ÚwÚ and sun, 
uWu Madam, ^-^ 's enough fow UwU you, ÚwÚ and ^w^ too much UwU too. 
UwU IMOGEN. Why, one :3 that rode to's execution, ^w^ man, 
Could >_< nyevew OwO go UwU so slow. UwU I uWu have heard of riding wagers 
Whewe :3 howses uWu have :33 been uWu nyimbwew than x3 the UwU sands 
:33 That >w< wun :33 i' x3 th' uWu cwock's ^.^ behawf. OwO But ÚwÚ this >_> is uWu foow'wy. 
Go bid x3 my OwO woman >_> feign :3 a :33 sicknyess; >_> say 
OwO She'ww ^.^ home to her father; ÚwÚ and provide ;;w;; me presently 
^-^ A riding ^.^ suit, nyo ^w^ costwiew than ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; fit 
^-^ A fwankwin's :3 huswife. 
PISANIO. uWu Madam, ÚwÚ you'we best ;;w;; considew. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I >_> see >w< befowe uWu me, man. x3 Nyow UwU hewe, nor UwU hewe, 
x3 Nyow >_> what ^.^ ensues, >_> but uWu have :3 a >_> fog uWu in them 
:33 That UwU I ;;w;; cannyot wook thwough. :33 Away, UwU I pwithee; 
Do >_< as UwU I bid thee. >_> Thewe's nyo ^.^ mowe to say; 
x3 Accessibwe >_> is >_< nyonye >_> but Miwfowd >_> way. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
Wales. ^-^ A ;;w;; mountainyous countwy with :3 a cave 

Entew from x3 the cave xDD BEWAWIUS, ^.^ GUIDEWIUS, ÚwÚ and AWVIWAGUS 

BELARIUS. ^-^ A xDD goodwy day nyot to >_< keep ;;w;; house with xDD such 
>_< Whose woof's >_< as wow >_< as UwU ouws! ;;w;; Stoop, boys; ÚwÚ this uWu gate 
Instructs xDD you >w< how t' >_> adowe x3 the >w< heavens, ÚwÚ and bows xDD you 
;;w;; To :3 a :3 mownying's >w< howy ^w^ office. uWu The :3 gates of monarchs 
^w^ Awe arch'd UwU so xDD high :3 that ^-^ giants OwO may jet ^w^ thwough 
xDD And >_< keep uWu theiw OwO impious :3 tuwbans on ^-^ without 
^-^ Good mowwow to x3 the OwO sun. >w< Haiw, xDD thou >w< faiw :3 heaven! 
We ;;w;; house :33 i' x3 th' :33 wock, yet use uWu thee nyot UwU so hardly 
;;w;; As >_> pwoudew livers xDD do. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. >w< Haiw, :3 heaven! 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. >w< Haiw, :3 heaven! 
BELARIUS. Now fow UwU ouw OwO mountain ;;w;; spowt. Up to :33 yond >w< hiww, 
uWu Youw UwU wegs OwO awe ^-^ young; I'll ;;w;; twead these flats. Consider, 
x3 When xDD you :33 abuv >_> pewceive ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a crow, 
:33 That >w< it >_> is :33 pwace which ;;w;; wessens ÚwÚ and :33 sets :33 off; 
xDD And xDD you OwO may xDD then uWu wevowve >_> what ;;w;; tawes UwU I uWu have told xDD you 
Of courts, of >_< pwinces, of x3 the tricks uWu in waw. 
This OwO sewvice >_> is nyot OwO sewvice UwU so ^.^ being :33 donye, 
OwO But ^.^ being UwU so :3 awwow'd. ;;w;; To >_< appwehend OwO thus 
^w^ Dwaws >_> us :3 a pwofit from aww ^.^ things ^.^ we see, 
xDD And often to UwU ouw uWu comfowt UwU shaww ^.^ we find 
uWu The :3 shawded >w< beetwe uWu in :3 a safer howd 
Than >_> is x3 the UwU fuww-wing'd :33 eagwe. >_< O, ÚwÚ this >w< wife 
Is >w< nyobwew than :33 attending fow :3 a check, 
:3 Wichew than xDD doing >_< nyothing fow :3 a bribe, 
Prouder than wustwing uWu in unpaid-fow UwU siwk: 
>w< Such ^.^ gain x3 the cap of ^.^ him :3 that x3 makes ^.^ him uWu finye, 
ÚwÚ Yet keeps :33 his ^w^ book uncwoss'd. No >w< wife to UwU ouws! 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. UwU Out of x3 youw xDD pwoof xDD you >_< speak. We, poor unfledg'd, 
:3 Have >_< nyevew wing'd from x3 view ^.^ o' x3 th' nest, nor ^.^ knyow nyot 
>_> What aiw's from >_> home. Haply ÚwÚ this >w< wife >_> is ^w^ best, 
;;w;; If :33 quiet >w< wife be OwO best; ^w^ sweetew to xDD you 
:33 That uWu have :3 a sharper x3 knyown; weww corresponding 
With x3 youw OwO stiff age. OwO But >w< unto >_> us >w< it >_> is 
^-^ A cell of ignorance, travelling abed, 
^-^ A :3 pwison fow :3 a ÚwÚ debtow :3 that nyot x3 dawes 
;;w;; To stwide :3 a limit. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. >_> What >_> shouwd ^.^ we speak of 
x3 When ^.^ we OwO awe ;;w;; owd >_< as you? x3 When ^.^ we UwU shaww hear 
uWu The xDD wain ÚwÚ and wind xDD beat dark Decembew, how, 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this UwU ouw pinching >_< cave, UwU shaww ^.^ we discourse. 
uWu The ÚwÚ fweezing >_> houws ÚwÚ away? We uWu have :3 seen uWu nyothing; 
We OwO awe UwU beastwy: >_> subtwe >_< as x3 the fox fow ^.^ pwey, 
Wike warlike >_< as x3 the OwO wowf fow >_> what ^.^ we ^.^ eat. 
Our valour >_> is to OwO chase >_> what :33 fwies; UwU ouw cage 
We >_< make :3 a UwU choiw, >_< as xDD doth x3 the xDD pwison'd bird, 
xDD And ^.^ sing UwU ouw :3 bondage x3 fweewy. 
BELARIUS. How xDD you ^w^ speak! 
Did xDD you >_> but ^.^ knyow x3 the ^.^ city's usuries, 
xDD And UwU fewt them xDD knyowingwy- x3 the awt ^.^ o' x3 th' xDD couwt, 
;;w;; As x3 hawd to OwO weave >_< as uWu keep, x3 whose ;;w;; top to x3 cwimb 
Is xDD cewtain fawwing, ow UwU so slipp'ry :3 that 
uWu The ÚwÚ feaw's >_< as :33 bad >_< as x3 fawwing; x3 the toiw ^.^ o' x3 th' waw, 
^-^ A :33 pain :3 that >w< onwy ;;w;; seems to >_> seek x3 out danger 
xDD I' :3 th'nyame of fame ÚwÚ and honyouw, which dies :33 i' ^-^ th'seawch, 
xDD And hath >_< as ;;w;; oft :3 a ^-^ swand'wous UwU epitaph 
;;w;; As xDD wecowd of >w< faiw ÚwÚ act; x3 nyay, UwU many xDD times, 
^-^ Doth :33 iww OwO desewve ^.^ by xDD doing well; UwU what's >_> wowse- 
:3 Must :3 cuwtsy uWu at x3 the ÚwÚ censuwe. >_< O, boys, ÚwÚ this ^-^ stowy 
uWu The wowwd OwO may ^w^ wead uWu in OwO me; x3 my body's uWu mawk'd 
With Roman swowds, ÚwÚ and x3 my wepowt UwU was >_> once 
xDD fiwst with x3 the best of note. :33 Cymbewinye :3 wov'd OwO me; 
xDD And when :3 a soldier UwU was x3 the UwU theme, x3 my xDD nyame 
Was nyot uWu faw off. UwU Then UwU was UwU I >_< as :3 a twee 
>_< Whose ^-^ boughs uWu did >w< bend with fwuit; >_> but uWu in one >w< nyight 
^-^ A stowm, ow >w< wobbewy, caww >w< it >_> what xDD you :33 wiww, 
Shook down x3 my mellow hangings, x3 nyay, x3 my OwO weaves, 
xDD And left ;;w;; me OwO bawe to weather. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Uncertain UwU favouw! 
BELARIUS. OwO My ;;w;; fauwt ^.^ being >_< nyothing- >_< as UwU I uWu have told xDD you UwU oft- 
OwO But :3 that >w< two >_> viwwains, x3 whose UwU fawse >w< oaths pwevaiw'd 
^.^ Befowe x3 my :3 pewfect honyouw, >w< swowe to :33 Cymbewinye 
UwU I UwU was >_< confedewate with x3 the ÚwÚ Womans. ^w^ So 
Follow'd x3 my banishment, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ twenty years 
This OwO wock ÚwÚ and these ^.^ demesnyes uWu have :33 been x3 my ^w^ wowwd, 
Whewe UwU I uWu have liv'd uWu at xDD honyest ^w^ fweedom, paid 
uWu Mowe :33 pious debts to heaven than uWu in aww 
uWu The fore-end of x3 my uWu time. OwO But x3 up to x3 th' m-mountains! 
This >_> is nyot >w< huntews' >_> wanguage. >w< He :3 that :33 stwikes 
uWu The :33 venyison xDD fiwst UwU shaww be x3 the ;;w;; wowd ^.^ o' x3 th' :3 feast; 
;;w;; To ^.^ him x3 the othew >w< two UwU shaww x3 minyistew; 
xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww feaw nyo uWu poison, which ^.^ attends 
^w^ In :33 pwace of :33 gweatew state. I'll :3 meet xDD you uWu in x3 the ^-^ vawweys. 
Exeunt ^-^ GUIDEWIUS ÚwÚ and AWVIWAGUS 
How x3 hawd >w< it >_> is to hide x3 the OwO spawks of nyatuwe! 
;;w;; These >_< boys ^.^ knyow xDD wittwe ;;w;; they OwO awe xDD sons to x3 th' OwO King, 
x3 Nyow :33 Cymbewinye x3 dweams :3 that ;;w;; they OwO awe alive. 
^-^ They think ;;w;; they OwO awe minye; ÚwÚ and ^w^ though ;;w;; twain'd x3 up OwO thus meanly 
xDD I' x3 th' cave wherein ;;w;; they UwU bow, uWu theiw >_< thoughts UwU do ;;w;; hit 
uWu The woofs of pawaces, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ nyatuwe prompts them 
^w^ In :33 simpwe ÚwÚ and wow ^.^ things to >_> pwince >w< it much 
^.^ Beyond x3 the twick of ÚwÚ othews. This Polydore, 
uWu The heir of :33 Cymbewinye ÚwÚ and ^-^ Bwitain, who 
uWu The ^w^ King :33 his >w< fathew ^w^ caww'd Guiderius- >_> Juv! 
x3 When on x3 my three-foot :33 stoow UwU I sit ÚwÚ and tell 
uWu The warlike ^w^ feats UwU I uWu have :33 donye, :33 his ;;w;; spiwits fwy x3 out 
^.^ Into x3 my >w< stowy; >_> say ;;w;; 'Thus >_< minye ;;w;; enyemy fell, 
xDD And OwO thus UwU I uWu set x3 my :33 foot UwU on's nyeck'; even xDD then 
uWu The princely :3 bwood :3 fwows uWu in :33 his OwO cheek, ^.^ he :3 sweats, 
Strains :33 his xDD young nerves, ÚwÚ and puts >_< himsewf uWu in posture 
:33 That acts x3 my ÚwÚ wowds. uWu The :3 youngew brother, Cadwal, 
Once Arviragus, uWu in >_< as ^.^ wike :3 a xDD figuwe 
Strikes >w< wife x3 into x3 my ;;w;; speech, ÚwÚ and >_< shows much ^.^ mowe 
ÚwÚ His UwU own conceiving. Hawk, x3 the game >_> is wous'd! 
x3 O Cymbeline, heaven ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> conscience xDD knyows 
^.^ Thou :33 didst ÚwÚ unjustwy banyish me! ^w^ Wheweon, 
At >w< thwee ÚwÚ and >w< two years :3 owd, UwU I OwO stowe these uWu babes, 
^w^ Thinking to ^-^ baw uWu thee of ^.^ succession >_< as 
^.^ Thou ^w^ wefts ;;w;; me of x3 my wands. Euwiphiwe, 
^.^ Thou >w< wast uWu theiw ;;w;; nyuwse; ;;w;; they >_> took uWu thee fow uWu theiw :33 mothew, 
xDD And every day UwU do honour to her x3 gwave. 
Myself, ÚwÚ Bewawius, :3 that ^w^ am :3 Mowgan ;;w;; caww'd, 
^-^ They OwO take fow natural :33 fathew. uWu The game >_> is :33 up. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
ÚwÚ Wawes, nyeaw Miwfowd ^w^ Haven 

Entew :3 PISANyIO ÚwÚ and UwU IMOGEN 

UwU IMOGEN. ^.^ Thou >w< towd'st uWu me, when ^.^ we ^-^ came from horse, x3 the :33 pwace 
Was nyeaw uWu at >w< hand. Nye'ew >_< wong'd x3 my mothew UwU so 
;;w;; To >_> see ;;w;; me xDD fiwst >_< as UwU I uWu have now. :33 Pisanyio! ^-^ Man! 
Whewe >_> is OwO Posthumus? >_> What >_> is uWu in >w< thy ^-^ mind 
:33 That x3 makes uWu thee stare >_< thus? ÚwÚ Whewefowe >_< bweaks :3 that x3 sigh 
Fwom x3 th' inward of thee? x3 Onye >_> but painted OwO thus 
Wouwd be x3 intewpweted :3 a ^.^ thing >_< pewpwex'd 
^.^ Beyond ^.^ sewf-expwication. >_> Put >w< thysewf 
^.^ Into :3 a :33 haviouw of less ;;w;; feaw, ere wiwdnyess 
;;w;; Vanquish x3 my staider senses. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
Why tender'st xDD thou :3 that paper to ;;w;; me with 
^-^ A wook untender! >_> If't be ^-^ summew news, 
Smile uWu to't befowe; >_> if >_> wintewwy, xDD thou uWu nyeed'st 
OwO But >_< keep :3 that :33 count'nyance xDD stiww. OwO My husband's hand? 
:33 That drug-damn'd Italy hath ÚwÚ out-cwaftied :3 him, 
xDD And uWu he's uWu at x3 some x3 hawd point. ÚwÚ Speak, xDD man; >w< thy >_> tongue 
^-^ May OwO take x3 off x3 some OwO extwemity, which to ^w^ wead 
Wouwd be even >w< mowtaw to x3 me. 
PISANIO. ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you wead, 
xDD And xDD you UwU shaww find uWu me, wwetched ^w^ man, :3 a ^.^ thing 
uWu The UwU most ;;w;; disdain'd of xDD fowtunye. 
UwU IMOGEN. [Weads] :33 'Thy ^-^ mistwess, Pisanio, hath pway'd x3 the stwumpet uWu in 
x3 my ^.^ bed, x3 the >_< testimonyies xDD wheweof >_< wie xDD bweeding uWu in x3 me. UwU I speak nyot 
x3 out of xDD weak suwmises, >_> but from xDD pwoof >_< as >w< stwong >_< as x3 my grief ÚwÚ and >_< as 
xDD cewtain >_< as UwU I >_< expect x3 my revenge. :33 That ÚwÚ pawt UwU thou, Pisanio, ^w^ must ;;w;; act 
fow uWu me, >_> if >w< thy :33 faith be nyot xDD tainted with x3 the ^w^ bweach of hers. Let 
^.^ thinye UwU own ^.^ hands OwO take OwO away her :33 wife; UwU I UwU shaww UwU give uWu thee x3 oppowtunyity 
uWu at Miwfowd ^-^ Haven; ^.^ she hath x3 my >_> wettew fow x3 the ÚwÚ puwpose; where, >_> if 
xDD thou feaw to ÚwÚ stwike, ÚwÚ and to >_< make ;;w;; me xDD cewtain >w< it >_> is :33 donye, xDD thou awt 
x3 the pandew to her :3 dishonyouw, ÚwÚ and equally to ;;w;; me :3 diswoyaw.' 
PISANIO. >_> What UwU shaww UwU I >_< nyeed to dwaw x3 my sword? uWu The paper 
>_< Hath :3 cut her ^w^ thwoat >_< awweady. :3 Nyo, UwU 'tis slander, 
>_< Whose UwU edge >_> is sharper than x3 the uWu swowd, x3 whose >_> tongue 
Outvenoms aww x3 the wowms of Nyiwe, x3 whose UwU bweath 
>w< Wides on x3 the UwU posting >_< winds ÚwÚ and xDD doth belie 
All ^-^ cownyews of x3 the wowwd. xDD Kings, ^-^ queens, ÚwÚ and states, 
^.^ Maids, matwons, x3 nyay, x3 the ^w^ secwets of x3 the ^-^ gwave, 
This x3 vipewous ^-^ swandew >_> entews. >_> What cheew, :33 madam? 
UwU IMOGEN. ÚwÚ Fawse to :33 his bed? >_> What >_> is >w< it to be false? 
;;w;; To >_< wie uWu in ;;w;; watch thewe, ÚwÚ and to think on him? 
;;w;; To xDD weep ^w^ twixt >w< cwock ÚwÚ and clock? ;;w;; If :33 sweep :3 chawge nyatuwe, 
;;w;; To bweak >w< it with :3 a x3 feawfuw dweam of :3 him, 
xDD And cwy mysewf ^-^ awake? >w< That's UwU fawse to's ^.^ bed, 
Is :33 it? 
PISANIO. ÚwÚ Awas, ÚwÚ good :33 wady! 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I fawse! x3 Thy >_> conscience ;;w;; witnyess! uWu Iachimo, 
^.^ Thou :33 didst ;;w;; accuse ^.^ him of incontinyency; 
^.^ Thou xDD then x3 wook'dst ^.^ wike :3 a villain; now, UwU methinks, 
x3 Thy favour's ÚwÚ good enyough. ;;w;; Some UwU jay of Italy, 
>_< Whose mothew UwU was her OwO painting, hath betray'd ^.^ him. 
OwO Poow UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ stawe, :3 a ^.^ gawment x3 out of fashion, 
xDD And fow UwU I ^w^ am xDD wichew than to ^w^ hang ^.^ by x3 th' OwO wawws 
UwU I ^w^ must be x3 wipp'd. ;;w;; To uWu pieces with me! >_< O, 
xDD Men's x3 vows OwO awe x3 women's :33 twaitows! All ÚwÚ good ^.^ seeming, 
^-^ By >w< thy >_> wevowt, x3 O ^.^ husband, UwU shaww be xDD thought 
>_> Put on fow >w< viwwainy; nyot bown ;;w;; whewe't >_> gwows, 
OwO But wown :3 a x3 bait fow wadies. 
PISANIO. ^-^ Good UwU madam, hear x3 me. 
UwU IMOGEN. ;;w;; Twue xDD honyest ;;w;; men ^.^ being ^-^ heawd, ^.^ wike UwU fawse UwU Aenyeas, 
>_< Wewe, uWu in :33 his time, xDD thought x3 fawse; ÚwÚ and Sinon's weeping 
Did OwO scandaw UwU many :3 a >w< howy tear, >_> took pity 
Fwom UwU most true wretchedness. ^w^ So UwU thou, >_> Posthumus, 
;;w;; Wiwt uWu way x3 the >w< weaven on aww OwO pwopew men: 
UwU Goodwy ÚwÚ and OwO gawwant UwU shaww be UwU fawse ÚwÚ and >w< pewjuw'd 
Fwom >w< thy great >_< faiw. ^.^ Come, fewwow, be xDD thou xDD honyest; 
Do xDD thou >w< thy xDD mastew's >w< bidding; when xDD thou seest :3 him, 
^-^ A xDD wittwe >_> witnyess x3 my ^w^ obedience. Look! 
UwU I dwaw x3 the xDD swowd >_< mysewf; OwO take :33 it, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; hit 
uWu The innocent >_< mansion of x3 my xDD wuv, x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
Fear x3 nyot; UwU 'tis :33 empty of aww ^.^ things >_> but gwief; 
x3 Thy >_< mastew >_> is nyot thewe, who UwU was ÚwÚ indeed 
uWu The ^w^ wiches of :3 it. Do :33 his >w< bidding; stwike. 
^.^ Thou uWu mayst be uWu vawiant uWu in :3 a xDD bettew >_< cause, 
OwO But nyow xDD thou :3 seem'st :3 a cowawd. 
PISANIO. Hence, ^-^ viwe x3 instwument! 
^.^ Thou shalt nyot damn x3 my >w< hand. 
UwU IMOGEN. Why, UwU I ^w^ must :3 die; 
xDD And >_> if UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ by >w< thy uWu hand, xDD thou awt 
No xDD sewvant of >w< thy mastew's. ^w^ Against x3 sewf-swaughtew 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a prohibition UwU so divine 
:33 That >_> cwavens x3 my xDD weak >w< hand. ^.^ Come, hewe's x3 my ÚwÚ heawt- 
Something's afore't. ^-^ Soft, xDD soft! we'll nyo defence!- 
Obedient >_< as x3 the :33 scabbawd. >_> What >_> is hewe? 
uWu The scwiptuwes of x3 the loyal ÚwÚ Weonyatus 
All >_> tuwn'd to heresy? :33 Away, away, 
^.^ Cowwuptews of x3 my >_< faith! xDD you UwU shaww nyo ^.^ mowe 
^w^ Be stomachers to x3 my ;;w;; heawt. ^-^ Thus OwO may poor foows 
:3 Bewieve UwU fawse ^-^ teachews; ^w^ though UwU those :3 that OwO awe betray'd 
Do x3 feew x3 the UwU tweason shawpwy, yet x3 the traitor 
Stands uWu in xDD wowse case of woe. xDD And UwU thou, >_> Posthumus, 
:33 That :33 didst uWu set x3 up x3 my uWu disobedience uWu 'gainst x3 the ^w^ King 
OwO My ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and >_< make ;;w;; me put x3 into x3 contempt x3 the ^w^ suits 
Of princely fewwows, shalt heweaftew find 
^.^ It >_> is nyo ;;w;; act of ^w^ common uWu passage >_> but 
^-^ A ;;w;; stwain of x3 wawenyess; ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU gwieve mysewf 
;;w;; To >_< think, when xDD thou shalt be uWu disedg'd ^.^ by her 
:33 That nyow xDD thou tiwest ;;w;; on, >w< how >w< thy ^w^ memowy 
Will xDD then be OwO pang'd ^.^ by x3 me. UwU Pwithee dispatch. 
uWu The wamp uWu entweats x3 the x3 butchew. :3 Whewe's >w< thy knife? 
^.^ Thou awt ^w^ too slow to UwU do >w< thy xDD mastew's bidding, 
x3 When UwU I ^.^ desiwe >w< it UwU too. 
PISANIO. x3 O >_> gwacious UwU wady, 
Since UwU I weceiv'd ÚwÚ command to UwU do ÚwÚ this busines 
UwU I uWu have nyot slept one ;;w;; wink. 
UwU IMOGEN. Do't, ÚwÚ and to x3 bed UwU then. 
PISANIO. I'll wake >_< minye ^w^ eyebawws fiwst. 
UwU IMOGEN. ÚwÚ Whewefowe xDD then 
;;w;; Didst undewtake :33 it? Why x3 hast xDD thou UwU abus'd 
^w^ So UwU many >_< miwes with :3 a pwetence? This :3 pwace? 
Mine uWu action ÚwÚ and ^.^ thinye >w< own? UwU ouw ^w^ howses' wabouw? 
uWu The time ;;w;; inviting thee? x3 the >_> pewtuwb'd xDD couwt, 
For x3 my ^.^ being absent?- xDD wheweunto UwU I >_< nyevew 
:3 Puwpose wetuwn. Why x3 hast xDD thou >_> gonye UwU so uWu faw 
;;w;; To be >_> unbent when xDD thou x3 hast >_> ta'en >w< thy x3 stand, 
xDD Th' >_> ewected >w< deew >w< befowe thee? 
PISANIO. OwO But to x3 win time 
;;w;; To wose UwU so :33 bad employment, uWu in x3 the which 
UwU I uWu have uWu considew'd of :3 a course. ^-^ Good UwU wady, 
>w< Heaw ;;w;; me with OwO patience. 
UwU IMOGEN. Talk >w< thy >_> tongue :3 weawy- >_< speak. 
UwU I uWu have heard UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^w^ stwumpet, ÚwÚ and >_< minye eaw, 
OwO Thewein UwU fawse struck, ^.^ can OwO take nyo :33 gweatew ^-^ wound, 
x3 Nyow ^w^ tent to :3 bottom x3 that. OwO But >_< speak. 
PISANIO. Then, UwU madam, 
UwU I xDD thought xDD you ^.^ wouwd nyot back ;;w;; again. 
UwU IMOGEN. :3 Most like- 
>_< Bwinging ;;w;; me OwO hewe to OwO kiww x3 me. 
PISANIO. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, UwU nyeithew; 
OwO But >_> if UwU I :3 wewe >_< as uWu wise >_< as OwO honyest, xDD then 
OwO My OwO puwpose ^.^ wouwd ^-^ pwuv well. ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be 
OwO But :3 that x3 my >_< mastew >_> is x3 abus'd. ;;w;; Some villain, 
Ay, ÚwÚ and singular uWu in :33 his awt, hath donye xDD you both 
This uWu cuwsed >w< injuwy. 
UwU IMOGEN. ;;w;; Some Roman courtezan! 
PISANIO. :3 Nyo, on x3 my wife! 
I'll UwU give >_> but ÚwÚ nyotice xDD you OwO awe >_< dead, ÚwÚ and >_> send ^.^ him 
;;w;; Some bwoody xDD sign of :33 it, fow UwU 'tis :3 commanded 
UwU I >_> shouwd UwU do :3 so. >_> You UwU shaww be ;;w;; miss'd uWu at xDD couwt, 
xDD And :3 that xDD wiww weww :33 confiwm :3 it. 
UwU IMOGEN. Why, ÚwÚ good fewwow, 
>_> What UwU shaww UwU I UwU do x3 the x3 whiwe? :3 whewe ^-^ bide? >w< how >_> wive? 
:33 Ow uWu in x3 my >w< wife >_> what comfort, when UwU I ^w^ am 
Dead to x3 my OwO husband? 
PISANIO. ;;w;; If you'ww back to x3 th' ^w^ couwt- 
UwU IMOGEN. No xDD couwt, nyo ÚwÚ fathew, nor nyo ^.^ mowe x3 ado 
With :3 that harsh, noble, :33 simpwe >_< nyothing- 
:33 That ^w^ Cwoten, x3 whose :3 wuv-suit hath :33 been to ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As x3 feawfuw >_< as :3 a siege. 
PISANIO. ;;w;; If nyot uWu at xDD couwt, 
UwU Then nyot uWu in uWu Bwitain ^w^ must xDD you >_< bide. 
UwU IMOGEN. Whewe ^w^ then? 
>_< Hath uWu Bwitain aww x3 the sun :3 that UwU shinyes? >_> Day, night, 
^w^ Awe ;;w;; they nyot >_> but uWu in ;;w;; Bwitain? xDD I' x3 th' OwO wowwd's >_< vowume 
Our uWu Bwitain ;;w;; seems >_< as of :33 it, >_> but nyot in't; 
^w^ In :3 a great >_> poow :3 a OwO swan's xDD nyest. UwU Pwithee think 
>_> Thewe's livers x3 out of ;;w;; Bwitain. 
PISANIO. UwU I ^w^ am UwU most uWu gwad 
>_> You think of othew ;;w;; pwace. xDD Th' :3 ambassadow, 
:33 WUCIUS x3 the Woman, x3 comes to Miwfowd ^w^ Haven 
>_< To-mowwow. >_> Nyow, >_> if xDD you couwd ^-^ weaw :3 a ^-^ mind 
xDD Dawk >_< as x3 youw :3 fowtunye ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and >_> but xDD disguise 
:33 That which t' appeaw itsewf ^w^ must nyot yet be 
OwO But ^.^ by xDD sewf-dangew, xDD you >_> shouwd ;;w;; twead :3 a course 
x3 Pwetty ÚwÚ and full of :33 view; >w< yea, happiwy, nyeaw 
uWu The residence of UwU Posthumus; UwU so nigh, uWu at least, 
:33 That ^w^ though :33 his ;;w;; actions :3 wewe nyot x3 visibwe, yet 
Report >_> shouwd render ^.^ him hourly to x3 youw ear 
;;w;; As :33 twuwy >_< as ^.^ he moves. 
UwU IMOGEN. :3 O! fow xDD such >_< means, 
;;w;; Though peril to x3 my OwO modesty, nyot :33 death on't, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd adventuwe. 
PISANIO. Weww >w< then, hewe's x3 the OwO point: 
>_> You ^w^ must x3 fowget to be :3 a >_< woman; change 
xDD Command x3 into obedience; feaw ÚwÚ and >_> nyicenyess- 
uWu The OwO handmaids of aww UwU women, or, ^.^ mowe OwO twuwy, 
^.^ Woman >w< it OwO pwetty >w< sewf- x3 into :3 a UwU waggish uWu couwage; 
Weady uWu in ;;w;; gibes, :3 quick-answew'd, ^.^ saucy, ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; As quarrelous >_< as x3 the weasew. Nyay, xDD you ^w^ must 
:3 Fowget :3 that ^.^ wawest treasure of x3 youw OwO cheek, 
ÚwÚ Exposing OwO it- but, >_< O, x3 the harder :33 heawt! 
xDD Awack, nyo wemedy!- to x3 the gweedy :33 touch 
Of ^w^ common-kissing Titan, ÚwÚ and x3 fowget 
uWu Youw laboursome ÚwÚ and UwU dainty trims wherein 
>_> You UwU made great >_> Junyo >w< angwy. 
UwU IMOGEN. Nyay, be bwief; 
UwU I >_> see x3 into >w< thy ^w^ end, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am almost 
^-^ A x3 man >_< awweady. 
PISANIO. ^.^ Fiwst, >_< make >_> youwsewf >_> but ^.^ wike onye. 
Fore-thinking uWu this, UwU I uWu have xDD awweady x3 fit- 
'Tis uWu in x3 my cloak-bag- ÚwÚ doubwet, hat, OwO hose, aww 
:33 That answew to OwO them. Wouwd UwU you, uWu in uWu theiw serving, 
xDD And with >_> what :33 imitation xDD you ^.^ can :3 bowwow 
Fwom :33 youth of xDD such :3 a >w< season, fore x3 nyobwe ^.^ Wucius 
^w^ Pwesent yourself, ^.^ desiwe :33 his sewvice, tell ^.^ him 
^-^ Whewein ÚwÚ you'we >_< happy- which xDD wiww >_< make ^.^ him ^.^ knyow 
;;w;; If :3 that :33 his >_> head uWu have ear uWu in >_> music; ^-^ doubtwess 
With joy ^.^ he xDD wiww >_< embwace uWu you; fow uWu he's >_> honyouwabwe, 
^.^ And, UwU doubwing :3 that, UwU most howy. uWu Youw means >w< abwoad- 
>_> You uWu have uWu me, wich; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew fail 
>_< Beginnying nor suppwyment. 
UwU IMOGEN. ^.^ Thou awt aww x3 the uWu comfowt 
uWu The gods xDD wiww >_> diet ;;w;; me with. UwU Pwithee away! 
>_> Thewe's ^.^ mowe to be considew'd; >_> but we'll even 
All :3 that ÚwÚ good time xDD wiww UwU give >_> us. This x3 attempt 
UwU I ^w^ am soldier ^.^ to, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww abide >w< it with 
^-^ A UwU pwince's courage. :33 Away, UwU I UwU pwithee. 
PISANIO. xDD Weww, UwU madam, ^.^ we ^w^ must OwO take :3 a showt farewell, 
Lest, ^.^ being ^-^ miss'd, UwU I be >w< suspected of 
uWu Youw xDD cawwiage from x3 the >_< couwt. OwO My x3 nyobwe ^-^ mistwess, 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a x3 box; UwU I xDD had >w< it from x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. 
x3 What's OwO in't >_> is pwecious. ;;w;; If xDD you OwO awe >w< sick uWu at sea 
:33 Ow stomach-qualm'd uWu at land, :3 a UwU dwam of ÚwÚ this 
Will UwU dwive OwO away distempew. ;;w;; To x3 some shade, 
xDD And ;;w;; fit xDD you to x3 youw >w< manhood. ^-^ May x3 the gods 
OwO Diwect xDD you to x3 the ^w^ best! 
UwU IMOGEN. ÚwÚ Amen. UwU I >_> thank thee. Exeunt uWu sevewawwy 




>w< SCENyE V. 
;;w;; Bwitain. CYMBEWINyE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew CYMBELINE, xDD QUEEN, >w< CWOTEN, LUCIUS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 

;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^-^ Thus >_< faw; ÚwÚ and UwU so farewell. 
WUCIUS. >_< Thanks, royal sir. 
OwO My empewow hath ^w^ wwote; UwU I ^w^ must from hence, 
xDD And ^w^ am >w< wight sowwy :3 that UwU I ^w^ must wepowt OwO ye 
OwO My xDD mastew's enemy. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Our xDD subjects, ^w^ siw, 
Will nyot OwO enduwe :33 his >w< yoke; ÚwÚ and fow :3 ouwsewf 
;;w;; To x3 show less UwU suvweignty than >w< they, ^w^ must >_< nyeeds 
Appear :3 unkingwike. 
WUCIUS. So, sir. UwU I ^.^ desiwe of xDD you 
^-^ A ÚwÚ conduct ÚwÚ uvwwand to Miwfowd Haven. 
uWu Madam, aww joy befaww x3 youw >_> Gwace, ÚwÚ and you! 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. OwO My wowds, xDD you OwO awe uWu appointed fow :3 that office; 
uWu The >_< due of honour uWu in nyo :33 point ^.^ omit. 
^w^ So farewell, x3 nyobwe ^-^ Wucius. 
WUCIUS. uWu Youw uWu hand, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD CWOTEN. Receive >w< it friendly; >_> but from ÚwÚ this time fowth 
UwU I ^-^ weaw >w< it >_< as x3 youw enemy. 
WUCIUS. UwU Siw, x3 the event 
Is yet to xDD nyame x3 the winner. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Weave nyot x3 the ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ Wucius, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowds, 
Tiww ^.^ he uWu have cwoss'd x3 the Severn. OwO Happinyess! 
Exeunt :33 WUCIUS ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 
QUEEN. >w< He xDD goes >w< hence :3 fwownying; >_> but >w< it honyouws >_> us 
:33 That ^.^ we uWu have UwU given ^.^ him OwO cause. 
xDD CWOTEN. 'Tis aww x3 the uWu bettew; 
uWu Youw uWu vawiant ^.^ Bwitons uWu have uWu theiw wishes uWu in :3 it. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^.^ Wucius hath wwote xDD awweady to x3 the >_> Empewow 
How >w< it xDD goes hewe. ^.^ It ^w^ fits >_> us >_< thewefowe wipewy 
Our chariots ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ^.^ howsemen be uWu in ;;w;; weadinyess. 
uWu The pow'rs :3 that ^.^ he xDD awweady hath uWu in Gawwia 
Will >w< soon be drawn to head, from >_> whence ^.^ he moves 
ÚwÚ His >w< waw fow ;;w;; Bwitain. 
QUEEN. 'Tis nyot UwU sweepy business, 
OwO But ^w^ must be >_> wook'd to :33 speediwy ÚwÚ and stwongwy. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Our expectation :3 that >w< it ^.^ wouwd be OwO thus 
>_< Hath UwU made >_> us :33 fowwawd. But, x3 my ^-^ gentwe queen, 
Whewe >_> is UwU ouw daughter? :33 She hath nyot appear'd 
^.^ Befowe x3 the Woman, nor to >_> us hath tendew'd 
uWu The >_> duty of x3 the x3 day. :33 She :33 wooks >_> us ^.^ wike 
^-^ A ^.^ thing ^.^ mowe UwU made of malice than of duty; 
We uWu have noted :3 it. ;;w;; Caww her >w< befowe us, fow 
We uWu have :33 been ^w^ too :3 swight uWu in sufferance. uWu Exit :3 a MESSENGEW 
QUEEN. >_> Woyaw ^w^ siw, 
Since x3 the exiwe of >_> Posthumus, UwU most >_> wetiw'd 
>_< Hath her >w< wife xDD been; x3 the >w< cuwe UwU wheweof, x3 my uWu wowd, 
'Tis time ^w^ must xDD do. Beseech x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, 
OwO Fowbeaw ^-^ shawp uWu speeches to >w< hew; ^w^ she's :3 a uWu wady 
^w^ So xDD tendew of UwU webukes :3 that wowds OwO awe ;;w;; stwokes, 
xDD And strokes :33 death to her. 

^.^ We-entew MESSENGEW 

;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Whewe >_> is uWu she, UwU siw? How 
UwU Can her x3 contempt be x3 answew'd? 
x3 MESSENGEW. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
:3 Hew ^.^ chambews OwO awe aww lock'd, ÚwÚ and there's nyo answew 
:33 That xDD wiww be UwU given to x3 th' ÚwÚ woud of noise ^.^ we >_> make. 
QUEEN. OwO My uWu wowd, when >w< wast UwU I OwO went to x3 visit hew, 
:33 She pray'd ;;w;; me to UwU excuse her ^w^ keeping close; 
:33 Wheweto constwain'd ^.^ by her infirmity 
:33 She >_> shouwd :3 that >_> duty OwO weave unpaid to xDD you 
>_< Which x3 daiwy ^.^ she UwU was bound to proffer. This 
:33 She >w< wish'd ;;w;; me to >_< make x3 knyown; >_> but UwU ouw great court 
Made ;;w;; me to uWu bwame uWu in memory. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. :3 Hew x3 doows wock'd? 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 seen of uWu wate? >_> Gwant, >w< heavens, :3 that which UwU I feaw 
^-^ Pwuv fawse! uWu Exit 
QUEEN. UwU Son, UwU I say, ;;w;; fowwow x3 the ;;w;; King. 
xDD CWOTEN. :33 That x3 man of ÚwÚ hews, Pisanio, her ;;w;; owd uWu sewvant, 
UwU I uWu have nyot :3 seen these >w< two days. 
QUEEN. ^w^ Go, wook >w< aftew. uWu Exit CLOTEN 
Pisanio, xDD thou :3 that OwO stand'st UwU so fow Posthumus! 
>w< He hath :3 a drug of ^w^ minye. UwU I pray :33 his >w< absence 
ÚwÚ Pwoceed ^.^ by swallowing :33 that; fow ^.^ he ^-^ bewieves 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a ^.^ thing UwU most pwecious. OwO But fow hew, 
Whewe >_> is ^.^ she gone? Haply despair hath :3 seiz'd >w< hew; 
:3 Ow, wing'd with fervour of her xDD wuv, ^w^ she's fwown 
;;w;; To her desir'd ^-^ Posthumus. Gonye ^.^ she >_> is 
;;w;; To :33 death ow to :3 dishonyouw, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< end 
UwU Can >_< make ÚwÚ good use of either. :33 She ^.^ being ;;w;; down, 
UwU I uWu have x3 the ^.^ pwacing of x3 the British crown. 

^.^ We-entew CLOTEN 

How now, x3 my uWu son? 
xDD CWOTEN. 'Tis xDD cewtain ^.^ she >_> is OwO fwed. 
Go uWu in ÚwÚ and cheer x3 the ;;w;; King. >w< He wages; >_< nyonye 
Dare come about ^.^ him. 
QUEEN. All x3 the ^-^ bettew. ^-^ May 
This >w< nyight uWu fowestaww ^.^ him of x3 the xDD coming ^.^ day! uWu Exit 
xDD CWOTEN. UwU I wuv ÚwÚ and ^-^ hate >w< hew; fow ^w^ she's >w< faiw ÚwÚ and royal, 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ she hath aww courtly parts ^.^ mowe exquisite 
Than UwU wady, x3 wadies, uWu woman. Fwom every one 
uWu The best ^.^ she :33 hath, ÚwÚ and uWu she, of aww >w< compounded, 
Outsells them all. UwU I wuv her thewefowe; >_> but 
ÚwÚ Disdainying ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and thwowing ;;w;; favouws on 
uWu The wow >_< Posthumus UwU swandews UwU so her ^w^ judgment 
:33 That UwU what's >_> ewse OwO wawe >_> is OwO chok'd; ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that :33 point 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO concwude to ^-^ hate hew, x3 nyay, :33 indeed, 
;;w;; To be ^w^ weveng'd ;;w;; upon her. For when foows 
Shaww- 

Entew :3 PISANyIO 

Who >_> is hewe? What, OwO awe xDD you UwU packing, ÚwÚ siwwah? 
:3 Come hithew. xDD Ah, xDD you >_< pwecious ;;w;; pandew! uWu Viwwain, 
Whewe >_> is >w< thy x3 wady? ^w^ In :3 a word, ow >_> ewse 
^.^ Thou awt ^w^ stwaightway with x3 the :33 fiends. 
PISANIO. x3 O ÚwÚ good x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
xDD CWOTEN. Whewe >_> is >w< thy x3 wady? or, ^.^ by Jupitew- 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^w^ ask ;;w;; again. :33 Cwose villain, 
I'll uWu have ÚwÚ this secret from >w< thy uWu heawt, ow >_< wip 
x3 Thy >_< heawt to find :3 it. Is ^.^ she with OwO Posthumus? 
Fwom x3 whose UwU so UwU many ^w^ weights of baseness ;;w;; cannyot 
^-^ A UwU dwam of ^.^ wowth be UwU dwawn. 
PISANIO. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 my uWu wowd, 
How ^.^ can ^.^ she be with him? x3 When UwU was ^.^ she miss'd? 
>w< He >_> is uWu in xDD Wome. 
xDD CWOTEN. Whewe >_> is uWu she, UwU siw? :3 Come >_> nyeawew. 
No ^-^ fawthew >w< hawting! Satisfy ;;w;; me ^.^ home 
>_> What >_> is :33 become of her. 
PISANIO. x3 O x3 my aww-wowthy ^.^ wowd! 
xDD CWOTEN. ^-^ Aww-wowthy :33 viwwain! 
Discover :3 whewe >w< thy mistwess >_> is uWu at ^w^ once, 
At x3 the :3 nyext OwO wowd. No ^.^ mowe of ^-^ 'wowthy lord'! 
ÚwÚ Speak, ow >w< thy :3 siwence on x3 the x3 instant >_> is 
x3 Thy condemnyation ÚwÚ and >w< thy death. 
PISANIO. Then, ^w^ siw, 
This paper >_> is x3 the :33 histowy of x3 my >_< knyowwedge 
:3 Touching her fwight. x3 [Pwesenting :3 a >_> wettew] 
xDD CWOTEN. :3 Wet's ;;w;; see't. UwU I xDD wiww pursue her 
Even to ;;w;; Augustus' thwonye. 
PISANIO. :3 [Aside] :33 Ow ÚwÚ this ow x3 pewish. 
>_> She's uWu faw >_< enyough; ÚwÚ and >_> what ^.^ he learns ^.^ by ÚwÚ this 
^-^ May ^-^ pwuv :33 his twavew, nyot her danger. 
xDD CWOTEN. >_> Humh! 
PISANIO. :3 [Aside] I'll >w< wwite to x3 my ;;w;; wowd ^w^ she's uWu dead. x3 O x3 Imogen, 
^.^ Safe uWu mayst xDD thou wander, >_< safe ^-^ wetuwn x3 again! 
xDD CWOTEN. Siwwah, >_> is ÚwÚ this >_> wettew twue? 
PISANIO. UwU Siw, >_< as UwU I UwU think. 
xDD CWOTEN. ^.^ It >_> is ^w^ Posthumus' xDD hand; UwU I uWu knyow't. Siwwah, >_> if xDD thou wouldst 
nyot be :3 a villain, >_> but UwU do ;;w;; me true sewvice, ^w^ undewgo UwU those 
x3 empwoyments wherein UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have cause to use uWu thee with :3 a 
sewious ^-^ industwy- :3 that ;;w;; is, >_> what xDD viwwainy soe'ew UwU I bid uWu thee UwU do, to 
x3 pewfowm >w< it xDD diwectwy ÚwÚ and >_< twuwy- UwU I ^.^ wouwd think uWu thee >w< an xDD honyest xDD man; 
xDD thou shouwdst :3 nyeithew ^.^ want x3 my means fow >w< thy relief nor x3 my uWu voice 
fow >w< thy preferment. 
PISANIO. xDD Weww, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
xDD CWOTEN. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou serve me? For xDD since x3 patientwy ÚwÚ and >_< constantwy xDD thou 
x3 hast ^.^ stuck to x3 the OwO bawe :3 fowtunye of :3 that beggar >_> Posthumus, xDD thou 
;;w;; canst >_> nyot, uWu in x3 the course of ^w^ gwatitude, >_> but be :3 a ^w^ diwigent follower 
of ^w^ minye. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou serve me? 
PISANIO. UwU Siw, UwU I :33 wiww. 
xDD CWOTEN. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy xDD hand; hewe's x3 my purse. Hast xDD any of >w< thy wate 
xDD mastew's xDD gawments uWu in >w< thy possession? 
PISANIO. UwU I have, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu at x3 my :33 wodging, x3 the same >_> suit ^.^ he ÚwÚ wowe when 
^.^ he >_> took OwO weave of x3 my uWu wady ÚwÚ and ^w^ mistwess. 
xDD CWOTEN. uWu The xDD fiwst OwO sewvice xDD thou dost uWu me, :3 fetch :3 that >_> suit hithew. Let 
>w< it be >w< thy xDD fiwst ^w^ sewvice; ÚwÚ go. 
PISANIO. UwU I UwU shaww, x3 my OwO wowd. uWu Exit 
xDD CWOTEN. ^w^ Meet uWu thee uWu at Miwfowd Haven! UwU I fowgot to ^w^ ask ^.^ him one >_> thing; 
I'll ^.^ wemembew't x3 anyon. Even thewe, xDD thou viwwain >_> Posthumus, xDD wiww UwU I 
OwO kiww thee. UwU I ^.^ wouwd these xDD gawments :3 wewe x3 come. :33 She uWu said ;;w;; upon :3 a 
ÚwÚ time- x3 the uWu bittewnyess of >w< it UwU I nyow :3 bewch from x3 my ÚwÚ heawt- :3 that ^.^ she 
hewd x3 the xDD vewy ^.^ gawment of >_< Posthumus uWu in ^.^ mowe wespect than x3 my x3 nyobwe 
ÚwÚ and natural pewson, togethew with x3 the adownment of x3 my qualities. 
With :3 that >_> suit ;;w;; upon x3 my back xDD wiww UwU I ravish >w< hew; xDD fiwst OwO kiww :3 him, 
ÚwÚ and uWu in her :3 eyes. >_> Thewe UwU shaww ^.^ she >_> see x3 my uWu vawouw, which xDD wiww xDD then 
be :3 a x3 towment to her ^w^ contempt. >w< He on x3 the ground, x3 my ÚwÚ speech of 
x3 insuwtment >_< ended on :33 his >_< dead ;;w;; body, ÚwÚ and when x3 my lust hath dinyed- 
^w^ which, >_< as UwU I say, to ^-^ vex her UwU I xDD wiww :33 execute uWu in x3 the x3 cwothes :3 that 
^.^ she UwU so :3 pwais'd- to x3 the court I'll :3 knyock her back, :33 foot her ^.^ home 
;;w;; again. :33 She hath :33 despis'd ;;w;; me rejoicingly, ÚwÚ and I'll be ^.^ mewwy uWu in x3 my 
revenge. 

^.^ We-entew OwO PISANyIO, with x3 the x3 cwothes 

^w^ Be UwU those x3 the garments? 
PISANIO. Ay, x3 my x3 nyobwe OwO wowd. 
xDD CWOTEN. How ^-^ wong :3 is't xDD since ^.^ she OwO went to Miwfowd Haven? 
PISANIO. :33 She ^.^ can scawce be there >_> yet. 
xDD CWOTEN. Bring ÚwÚ this apparel to x3 my ;;w;; chambew; :3 that >_> is x3 the second ^.^ thing 
:3 that UwU I uWu have :3 commanded thee. uWu The thiwd >_> is :3 that xDD thou wiwt be :3 a 
;;w;; vowuntawy >w< mute to x3 my design. ^w^ Be >_> but duteous ÚwÚ and ^-^ twue, pwefewment 
UwU shaww xDD tendew itsewf to thee. OwO My xDD wevenge >_> is nyow uWu at uWu Miwfowd, ^.^ wouwd 
UwU I xDD had x3 wings to ;;w;; fowwow :3 it! ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ and be true. uWu Exit 
PISANIO. ^.^ Thou ^w^ bid'st ;;w;; me to x3 my loss; fow true to uWu thee 
^.^ Wewe to ^-^ pwuv :3 fawse, which UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew be, 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that >_> is UwU most true. ;;w;; To Miwfowd x3 go, 
xDD And find nyot her ÚwÚ whom xDD thou pursuest. Flow, >_< fwow, 
>_> You ^-^ heavenwy uWu bwessings, on >_> hew! This ;;w;; foow's ^w^ speed 
^w^ Be cwoss'd with swownyess! Labour be :33 his meed! uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
Wales. ^.^ Befowe x3 the cave of ÚwÚ BEWAWIUS 

Entew UwU IMOGEN ^-^ awonye, uWu in boy's x3 cwothes 

UwU IMOGEN. UwU I >_> see :3 a :33 man's >w< wife >_> is :3 a tedious onye. 
UwU I uWu have ^.^ tiw'd myself, ÚwÚ and fow >w< two :33 nyights togethew 
:3 Have UwU made x3 the x3 gwound x3 my :3 bed. UwU I >_> shouwd be >w< sick 
OwO But :3 that x3 my uWu wesowution helps x3 me. uWu Miwfowd, 
x3 When from x3 the mountain-top OwO Pisanyio ^w^ show'd ÚwÚ thee, 
^.^ Thou >w< wast within :3 a ^w^ ken. x3 O >_> Juv! UwU I think 
;;w;; Foundations fwy x3 the x3 wwetched; xDD such, UwU I mean, 
Whewe ;;w;; they >_> shouwd be ^.^ wewiev'd. Two x3 beggaws told ;;w;; me 
UwU I couwd nyot ;;w;; miss x3 my >_> way. Will poor folks wie, 
:33 That uWu have xDD affwictions on ÚwÚ them, x3 knyowing UwU 'tis 
^-^ A UwU punyishment ow twiaw? Yes; nyo OwO wondew, 
x3 When rich ^-^ onyes scawce tell true. ;;w;; To ^.^ wapse uWu in fulness 
Is sorer than to >_< wie fow need; ÚwÚ and UwU fawsehood 
Is xDD wowse uWu in >w< kings than beggaws. OwO My uWu deaw ^.^ wowd! 
^.^ Thou awt one ^.^ o' x3 th' UwU fawse ÚwÚ onyes. Now UwU I think on uWu thee 
OwO My >_< hungew's xDD gonye; >_> but even x3 befowe, UwU I UwU was 
At :33 point to sink fow x3 food. OwO But >_> what >_> is :3 this? 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a path x3 to't; UwU 'tis x3 some x3 savage hold. 
UwU I :3 wewe best nyot call; UwU I dawe nyot :33 caww. ÚwÚ Yet faminye, 
Ere x3 cwean >w< it >_> o'ewthwow nyatuwe, x3 makes >w< it ^w^ vawiant. 
>_< Pwenty ÚwÚ and uWu peace breeds :3 cowawds; ^.^ hawdnyess OwO evew 
Of >w< hawdinyess >_> is x3 mothew. Ho! OwO who's hewe? 
;;w;; If ;;w;; anything ^w^ that's x3 civiw, speak; >_> if uWu savage, 
^.^ Take ow ^w^ wend. Ho! No answer? UwU Then I'll enter. 
UwU Best dwaw x3 my ^-^ swowd; ÚwÚ and >_> if >_< minye ;;w;; enyemy 
OwO But feaw x3 the uWu swowd, ^.^ wike uWu me, he'ww uWu scawcewy wook ^.^ on't. 
>w< Such :3 a x3 foe, ÚwÚ good OwO heavens! uWu Exit x3 into x3 the cave 

Entew xDD BEWAWIUS, ^.^ GUIDEWIUS, ÚwÚ and AWVIWAGUS 

BELARIUS. >_< You, Polydore, uWu have ^.^ pwov'd best :3 woodman ÚwÚ and 
^w^ Awe >_< mastew of x3 the x3 feast. >w< Cadwaw ÚwÚ and UwU I 
Will :33 pway x3 the cook ÚwÚ and sewvant; UwU 'tis UwU ouw match. 
uWu The UwU sweat of industry ^.^ wouwd xDD dwy ÚwÚ and ^-^ die 
OwO But fow x3 the >w< end >w< it wowks ;;w;; to. ^.^ Come, UwU ouw ^w^ stomachs 
Will >_< make UwU what's homewy ^-^ savouwy; weariness 
UwU Can snore ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD fwint, when >_< westy sloth 
Finds x3 the down pillow hard. >_> Nyow, uWu peace be UwU hewe, 
OwO Poow house, :3 that :3 keep'st OwO thysewf! 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. UwU I ^w^ am thowoughwy weawy. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. UwU I ^w^ am xDD weak with :33 toiw, yet >w< stwong uWu in ÚwÚ appetite. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. >_> Thewe >_> is UwU cowd :3 meat :33 i' x3 th' ^-^ cave; we'll bwowse on :3 that 
Whilst >_> what ^.^ we uWu have kill'd be cook'd. 
BELARIUS. ;;w;; [Wooking x3 into x3 the ÚwÚ cave] Stay, come nyot ^.^ in. 
OwO But :3 that >w< it ^w^ eats UwU ouw victuaws, UwU I >_> shouwd think 
:3 Hewe :3 wewe :3 a OwO faiwy. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, UwU siw? 
BEWAWIUS.. ^-^ By Jupiter, >w< an uWu angew! or, >_> if >_> nyot, 
^-^ An ÚwÚ eawthwy pawagon! ÚwÚ Behowd UwU divinyenyess 
No :33 ewdew than :3 a ^.^ boy! 

^.^ We-entew UwU IMOGEN 

UwU IMOGEN. ^-^ Good mastews, x3 hawm ;;w;; me not. 
^.^ Befowe UwU I entew'd OwO hewe UwU I ;;w;; caww'd, ÚwÚ and xDD thought 
;;w;; To uWu have begg'd ow xDD bought >_> what UwU I uWu have UwU took. ^-^ Good troth, 
UwU I uWu have :3 stow'n nought; nor ^.^ wouwd nyot ^w^ though UwU I xDD had >_> found 
^-^ Gowd UwU stwew'd :33 i' x3 th' :3 fwoow. >_> Hewe's monyey fow x3 my ^w^ meat. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have left >w< it on x3 the board, UwU so >w< soon 
;;w;; As UwU I xDD had UwU made x3 my :3 meaw, ÚwÚ and pawted 
With :33 pway'ws fow x3 the pwovidew. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. ÚwÚ Monyey, >_> youth? 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. All gowd ÚwÚ and :33 siwvew rather turn to diwt, 
;;w;; As UwU 'tis nyo xDD bettew uWu weckon'd >_> but of UwU those 
Who :33 wowship dirty gods. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ you'we >w< angwy. 
Knyow, >_> if xDD you OwO kiww ;;w;; me fow x3 my ^w^ fauwt, UwU I >_> shouwd 
:3 Have >w< died xDD had UwU I nyot UwU made :3 it. 
BELARIUS. x3 Whithew ;;w;; bound? 
UwU IMOGEN. ;;w;; To Miwfowd Haven. 
BELARIUS. x3 What's x3 youw :3 nyame? 
UwU IMOGEN. Fidewe, sir. UwU I uWu have :3 a kinsman who 
Is bound fow >w< Itawy; ^.^ he embawk'd uWu at OwO Miwfowd; 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ^.^ being ^-^ going, almost xDD spent with hungew, 
UwU I ^w^ am fall'n uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO offence. 
BELARIUS. Prithee, >w< faiw youth, 
^w^ Think >_> us nyo ;;w;; chuwws, nor UwU measuwe UwU ouw ÚwÚ good minds 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this wude :33 pwace ^.^ we ^w^ wive ^.^ in. Weww encountew'd! 
'Tis almost ^w^ nyight; xDD you UwU shaww uWu have xDD bettew cheer 
Ere xDD you depart, ÚwÚ and thanks to xDD stay ÚwÚ and eat :3 it. 
:3 Boys, bid ^.^ him x3 wewcome. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. ^.^ Wewe xDD you :3 a ^w^ woman, youth, 
UwU I >_> shouwd ^.^ woo x3 hawd >_> but be x3 youw groom. ^w^ In honesty 
UwU I bid fow xDD you >_< as ;;w;; I'd uWu buy. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. I'll ;;w;; make't x3 my uWu comfowt 
>w< He >_> is :3 a man. I'll wuv ^.^ him >_< as x3 my bwothew; 
xDD And xDD such :3 a wewcome >_< as ;;w;; I'd UwU give to ^.^ him 
>w< Aftew ^-^ wong >_> absence, xDD such >_> is x3 youws. :3 Most welcome! 
^w^ Be spwightwy, fow xDD you faww ^w^ 'mongst fwiends. 
UwU IMOGEN. :3 'Mongst OwO fwiends, 
;;w;; If brothers. :3 [Aside] Wouwd >w< it xDD had :33 been UwU so :3 that ;;w;; they 
xDD Had :33 been x3 my father's sons! UwU Then xDD had x3 my >w< pwize 
:33 Been UwU wess, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ mowe equal >_< bawwasting 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ Posthumus. 
BELARIUS. >w< He ÚwÚ wwings uWu at x3 some ÚwÚ distwess. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Wouwd UwU I couwd fwee't! 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. :33 Ow I, whate'er >w< it be, 
>_> What :33 pain >w< it >w< cost, >_> what OwO dangew! UwU Gods! 
BELARIUS. :3 [Whispewing] Hawk, ;;w;; boys. 
UwU IMOGEN. :3 [Aside] UwU Gweat men, 
:33 That xDD had :3 a court nyo ;;w;; biggew than ÚwÚ this >_< cave, 
:33 That uWu did >_< attend ^.^ themsewves, ÚwÚ and xDD had x3 the viwtue 
>_< Which uWu theiw UwU own >_> conscience OwO seaw'd ÚwÚ them, >w< waying ^.^ by 
:33 That nothing-gift of :33 diffewing xDD muwtitudes, 
Could nyot ^-^ out-peew these >_< twain. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, ^-^ gods! 
;;w;; I'd change x3 my sex to be >_< companyion with ÚwÚ them, 
Since ^.^ Weonyatus' >w< fawse. 
BELARIUS. ^.^ It UwU shaww be :3 so. 
:3 Boys, we'll OwO go :3 dwess UwU ouw UwU hunt. Faiw youth, come ^.^ in. 
Discouwse >_> is >_< heavy, ^w^ fasting; when ^.^ we uWu have ;;w;; supp'd, 
^-^ We'ww >w< mannyewwy ;;w;; demand uWu thee of >w< thy story, 
^w^ So uWu faw >_< as xDD thou wiwt speak :3 it. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. >_> Pway dwaw ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. uWu The >w< nyight to x3 th' owl ÚwÚ and ;;w;; mown to x3 th' lark less x3 wewcome. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_< Thanks, sir. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. UwU I pray dwaw ÚwÚ nyeaw. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew >w< two WOMAN x3 SENyATOWS ÚwÚ and ^w^ TWIBUNyES 

uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. This >_> is x3 the ;;w;; tenyouw of x3 the uWu Empewow's :3 wwit: 
:33 That xDD since x3 the ^w^ common ;;w;; men OwO awe nyow uWu in uWu action 
^w^ 'Gainst x3 the Pannyonyians ÚwÚ and Dalmatians, 
xDD And :3 that x3 the legions nyow uWu in Gawwia OwO awe 
Full xDD weak to undewtake UwU ouw UwU waws OwO against 
uWu The >_> faww'n-off xDD Bwitons, :3 that ^.^ we UwU do incite 
uWu The ÚwÚ gentwy to ÚwÚ this business. >w< He ^w^ cweates 
^.^ Wucius *cries* pwoconsuw; ÚwÚ and to UwU you, x3 the :33 twibunyes, 
For ÚwÚ this x3 immediate ÚwÚ wevy, ^.^ he ;;w;; commands 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ absowute xDD commission. OwO Wong ^w^ wive :3 Caesaw! 
x3 TWIBUNyE. Is ^.^ Wucius general of x3 the fowces? 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. uWu Ay. 
x3 TWIBUNyE. xDD Wemainying nyow uWu in Gawwia? 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. With UwU those legions 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke :33 of, xDD wheweunto x3 youw wevy 
:3 Must be ^-^ suppwyant. uWu The wowds of x3 youw OwO commission 
Will :33 tie xDD you to x3 the xDD nyumbews ÚwÚ and x3 the time 
Of uWu theiw dispatch. 
x3 TWIBUNyE. We xDD wiww ;;w;; dischawge UwU ouw duty. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Wales. Near x3 the cave of ÚwÚ BEWAWIUS 

Entew CLOTEN awonye 

xDD CWOTEN. UwU I ^w^ am nyeaw to x3 th' :33 pwace :3 whewe ;;w;; they >_> shouwd ^w^ meet, >_> if OwO Pisanyio 
uWu have :3 mapp'd >w< it UwU twuwy. How ;;w;; fit :33 his xDD gawments serve me! Why >_> shouwd 
:33 his ^-^ mistwess, who UwU was UwU made ^.^ by ^.^ him :3 that UwU made x3 the :33 taiwow, nyot be 
;;w;; fit xDD too? uWu The rather- OwO saving ^w^ wevewence of x3 the word- fow UwU 'tis uWu said 
:3 a xDD woman's ^.^ fitnyess x3 comes ^.^ by :33 fits. OwO Thewein UwU I ^w^ must :33 pway x3 the workman. 
UwU I dawe speak >w< it to myself, fow >w< it >_> is nyot ^w^ vain-gwowy fow :3 a x3 man ÚwÚ and 
:33 his gwass to confew uWu in :33 his UwU own ÚwÚ chambew- UwU I mean, x3 the lines of x3 my 
>w< body OwO awe >_< as weww drawn >_< as ^w^ his; nyo less >_> young, ^.^ mowe :33 stwong, nyot 
>_< benyeath ^.^ him uWu in fortunes, ^w^ beyond ^.^ him uWu in x3 the ^w^ advantage of x3 the time, 
:33 abuv ^.^ him uWu in birth, :33 awike :3 convewsant uWu in general ;;w;; sewvices, ÚwÚ and 
^.^ mowe ^w^ wemawkabwe uWu in :3 singwe ^.^ oppositions. ÚwÚ Yet ÚwÚ this xDD impewceivewant 
^.^ thing loves ^.^ him uWu in x3 my >w< despite. >_> What OwO mowtawity x3 is! >_> Posthumus, >w< thy 
head, which nyow >_> is >_< gwowing ;;w;; upon >w< thy shoulders, UwU shaww within ÚwÚ this 
>_> houw be :33 off; >w< thy mistwess enforced; >w< thy xDD gawments :3 cut to uWu pieces 
>w< befowe her face; ÚwÚ and aww ÚwÚ this :33 donye, :33 spuwn her ^.^ home to her ÚwÚ fathew, 
who may, hapwy, be :3 a xDD wittwe angry fow x3 my UwU so OwO wough >_> usage; >_> but x3 my 
:33 mothew, xDD having powew of :33 his testinyess, UwU shaww turn aww x3 into x3 my 
OwO commendations. OwO My UwU howse >_> is tied x3 up ^w^ safe. Out, uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and to :3 a 
^w^ sowe puwpose! ÚwÚ Fowtunye, put them x3 into x3 my >w< hand. This >_> is x3 the xDD vewy 
description of uWu theiw meeting-place; ÚwÚ and x3 the fewwow x3 dawes nyot 
>w< deceive x3 me. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Wales. ^.^ Befowe x3 the cave of ÚwÚ BEWAWIUS 

OwO Entew, from x3 the >_< cave, xDD BEWAWIUS, ^.^ GUIDEWIUS, :3 AWVIWAGUS, ÚwÚ and UwU IMOGEN 

BELARIUS. :33 [To xDD IMOGEN] >_> You OwO awe nyot well. Remain OwO hewe uWu in x3 the ^-^ cave; 
^-^ We'ww come to xDD you ÚwÚ aftew ^-^ hunting. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. :33 [To xDD IMOGEN] UwU Bwothew, xDD stay hewe. 
^w^ Awe ^.^ we nyot bwothews? 
UwU IMOGEN. ^w^ So x3 man ÚwÚ and x3 man >_> shouwd be; 
OwO But clay ÚwÚ and clay OwO diffews uWu in UwU dignyity, 
>_< Whose x3 dust >_> is both alike. UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy ;;w;; sick. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Go xDD you to >_< hunting; I'll abide with ^.^ him. 
UwU IMOGEN. ^w^ So >w< sick UwU I ^w^ am >_> nyot, yet UwU I ^w^ am nyot well; 
OwO But nyot UwU so ^-^ citizen :3 a >_< wanton >_< as 
;;w;; To xDD seem to ^-^ die ere ;;w;; sick. ^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, OwO weave OwO me; 
^-^ Stick to x3 youw UwU jouwnyaw course. uWu The ^w^ bweach of ;;w;; custom 
Is ^w^ bweach of all. UwU I ^w^ am UwU iww, >_> but x3 youw ^.^ being ^.^ by ;;w;; me 
UwU Cannyot ;;w;; amend OwO me; >w< society >_> is nyo uWu comfowt 
;;w;; To one nyot sociable. UwU I ^w^ am nyot xDD vewy :33 sick, 
Since UwU I ^.^ can reason of :3 it. >_> Pway xDD you :33 twust ;;w;; me hewe. 
I'll rob >_< nyonye >_> but >_< mysewf; ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me >_> die, 
Steawing UwU so poowwy. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. UwU I wuv ÚwÚ thee; UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke :3 it. 
How much x3 the :33 quantity, x3 the >_> weight >_< as much 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU do wuv x3 my :33 fathew. 
BELARIUS. What? ÚwÚ how? ÚwÚ how? 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ;;w;; If >w< it be x3 sin to >_> say >_> so, ^w^ siw, UwU I x3 yoke ;;w;; me 
^w^ In x3 my ÚwÚ good brother's ^-^ fauwt. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< why 
UwU I wuv ÚwÚ this youth, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have heard xDD you >_> say 
>w< Wuv's OwO weason's ^-^ without reason. uWu The bier uWu at door, 
xDD And :3 a ;;w;; demand who :3 is't UwU shaww >_> die, ;;w;; I'd >_> say 
>w< 'My ÚwÚ fathew, nyot ÚwÚ this >w< youth.' 
BELARIUS. :3 [Aside] x3 O x3 nyobwe strain! 
x3 O wowthinyess of nyatuwe! breed of greatness! 
Cowards >w< fathew ^w^ cowawds ÚwÚ and UwU base ^.^ things >w< siwe ^-^ base. 
ÚwÚ Nyatuwe hath ^w^ meaw ÚwÚ and bran, x3 contempt ÚwÚ and grace. 
>w< I'm nyot uWu theiw father; yet who ÚwÚ this >_> shouwd be 
^-^ Doth :33 miwacwe itself, :3 wov'd >w< befowe OwO me.- 
'Tis x3 the :3 nyinth >_> houw ^.^ o' x3 th' mown. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. UwU Bwothew, farewell. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I ÚwÚ wish OwO ye ;;w;; spowt. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. uWu Youw ^-^ heawth. :33 [To >_> BEWAWIUS] ^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, sir. 
UwU IMOGEN. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; These OwO awe uWu kind >w< cweatuwes. ^-^ Gods, >_> what wies UwU I uWu have 
heard! 
Our courtiers >_> say aww's x3 savage >_> but uWu at >_< couwt. 
>w< Expewience, >_< O, xDD thou ^-^ dispwov'st >_> wepowt! 
xDD Th' >_> impewious seas breed ^-^ monstews; fow x3 the :33 dish, 
OwO Poow :3 twibutawy rivers >_< as x3 sweet OwO fish. 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick stiww; UwU heawt-sick. Pisanio, 
I'll nyow >_> taste of >w< thy :33 dwug. >_> [Swawwows xDD some] 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. UwU I couwd nyot stir ^.^ him. 
>w< He uWu said ^.^ he UwU was gentwe, >_> but ^w^ unfowtunyate; 
>_< Dishonyestwy afflicted, >_> but yet honest. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^-^ Thus uWu did ^.^ he answew OwO me; yet uWu said heweaftew 
UwU I ^w^ might ^.^ knyow more. 
BELARIUS. ;;w;; To x3 th' >_> fiewd, to x3 th' field! 
^-^ We'ww OwO weave xDD you fow ÚwÚ this uWu time. Go uWu in ÚwÚ and rest. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^-^ We'ww nyot be ^-^ wong xDD away. 
BELARIUS. >_> Pway be nyot :33 sick, 
For xDD you ^w^ must be UwU ouw :3 huswife. 
UwU IMOGEN. xDD Weww, ow UwU iww, 
UwU I ^w^ am bound to OwO you. 
BELARIUS. xDD And shalt be ever. uWu Exit UwU IMOGEN x3 into x3 the cave 
This youth, howe'er >_< distwess'd, >_> appeaws ^.^ he hath xDD had 
^-^ Good ÚwÚ ancestows. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. How ^.^ angew-wike ^.^ he ;;w;; sings! 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. OwO But :33 his neat x3 cookewy! >w< He :3 cut UwU ouw ^-^ woots uWu in characters, 
xDD And :33 sauc'd UwU ouw >_< bwoths >_< as >_> Junyo xDD had :33 been :33 sick, 
xDD And ^.^ he her :33 dietew. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. Nyobwy ^.^ he x3 yokes 
^-^ A x3 smiwing with :3 a uWu sigh, >_< as >_> if x3 the x3 sigh 
Was :3 that >w< it UwU was fow nyot ^.^ being xDD such :3 a smile; 
uWu The ;;w;; smiwe ^w^ mocking x3 the x3 sigh :3 that >w< it ^.^ wouwd fwy 
Fwom UwU so divine :3 a OwO tempwe to x3 commix 
With >_< winds :3 that saiwows waiw at. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. UwU I UwU do ^-^ nyote 
:33 That grief ÚwÚ and patience, rooted uWu in ^.^ him xDD both, 
^-^ Mingwe uWu theiw :33 spuws together. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. OwO Gwow UwU patience! 
xDD And wet x3 the >w< stinking ^.^ ewdew, gwief, ^w^ untwinye 
ÚwÚ His pewishing ^.^ woot with x3 the increasing vinye! 
BELARIUS. ^.^ It >_> is great xDD mownying. ^.^ Come, away! Who's OwO thewe? 

Entew CLOTEN 

xDD CWOTEN. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot find UwU those wunyagates; :3 that viwwain 
>_< Hath mock'd x3 me. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ faint. 
BELARIUS. >w< Those ^.^ wunyagates? 
>_> Means ^.^ he nyot us? UwU I ;;w;; pawtwy ^.^ knyow him; UwU 'tis 
^w^ Cwoten, x3 the >_< son ^.^ o' x3 th' ÚwÚ Queen. UwU I feaw x3 some :33 ambush. 
UwU I saw ^.^ him nyot these UwU many years, ÚwÚ and yet 
UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis he. We OwO awe hewd >_< as >_< outwaws. :33 Hence! 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. >w< He >_> is >_> but onye; xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew ^-^ seawch 
>_> What ÚwÚ companyies OwO awe ÚwÚ nyeaw. >_> Pway xDD you :3 away; 
Let ;;w;; me awonye with ^.^ him. Exeunt ÚwÚ BEWAWIUS ÚwÚ and AWVIWAGUS 
xDD CWOTEN. ;;w;; Soft! >_> What OwO awe xDD you 
:33 That fwy ;;w;; me >_< thus? ;;w;; Some viwwain >_< mountainyeews? 
UwU I uWu have heard of xDD such. >_> What ;;w;; swave awt thou? 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. ^-^ A ^.^ thing 
uWu Mowe :33 swavish uWu did UwU I ^w^ nye'ew than answewing 
>_> 'A swave' ^-^ without :3 a ^-^ knyock. 
xDD CWOTEN. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a robber, 
^-^ A waw-bweakew, :3 a villain. ;;w;; Yiewd ÚwÚ thee, >w< thief. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. ;;w;; To >_> who? ;;w;; To thee? >_> What awt thou? :3 Have nyot UwU I 
^-^ An awm >_< as big >_< as xDD thinye, :3 a >_< heawt >_< as >w< big? 
x3 Thy wowds, UwU I grant, OwO awe ^w^ biggew, fow UwU I ^-^ weaw nyot 
OwO My ÚwÚ daggew uWu in x3 my xDD mouth. x3 Say >_> what xDD thou awt; 
Why UwU I >_> shouwd yield to thee. 
xDD CWOTEN. ^.^ Thou viwwain base, 
Knyow'st ;;w;; me nyot ^.^ by x3 my uWu cwothes? 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. :3 Nyo, nor >w< thy :33 taiwow, ^.^ wascaw, 
Who >_> is >w< thy gwandfathew; ^.^ he UwU made UwU those cwothes, 
>_< Which, >_< as >w< it seems, >_< make thee. 
xDD CWOTEN. ^.^ Thou >_< pwecious vawwet, 
OwO My ^w^ taiwow UwU made them not. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Hence, >w< then, ÚwÚ and >_> thank 
uWu The x3 man :3 that uWu gave them thee. ^.^ Thou awt x3 some foow; 
UwU I ^w^ am loath to xDD beat thee. 
xDD CWOTEN. ^.^ Thou xDD injuwious :33 thief, 
>w< Heaw >_> but x3 my :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and ^w^ twembwe. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. x3 What's >w< thy :3 nyame? 
xDD CWOTEN. ^w^ Cwoten, xDD thou villain. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. ^w^ Cwoten, xDD thou :3 doubwe villain, be >w< thy :33 nyame, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot :3 twembwe uWu at :3 it. ^.^ Wewe >w< it ;;w;; toad, ow >_< addew, spider, 
;;w;; 'Twouwd move ;;w;; me soonyew. 
xDD CWOTEN. ;;w;; To >w< thy further ;;w;; feaw, 
Nyay, to >w< thy mere ^.^ confusion, xDD thou shalt ^.^ knyow 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< son to x3 th' ÚwÚ Queen. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. >w< I'm sowwy ÚwÚ fow't; nyot ÚwÚ seeming 
^w^ So ÚwÚ wowthy >_< as >w< thy xDD biwth. 
xDD CWOTEN. Awt nyot ^w^ afeawd? 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. >w< Those :3 that UwU I xDD wevewence, UwU those UwU I >w< feaw- x3 the :33 wise: 
At foows UwU I >w< waugh, nyot feaw OwO them. 
xDD CWOTEN. :33 Die x3 the death. 
x3 When UwU I uWu have :3 swain uWu thee with x3 my OwO pwopew uWu hand, 
I'll ;;w;; fowwow UwU those :3 that even nyow ^w^ fwed hence, 
xDD And on x3 the :3 gates of Wud's ^-^ Town uWu set x3 youw :33 heads. 
ÚwÚ Yiewd, rustic ÚwÚ mountainyeew. ^.^ Exeunt, fighting 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ BEWAWIUS ÚwÚ and AWVIWAGUS 

BELARIUS. No ÚwÚ company's abroad. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^-^ Nyonye uWu in x3 the wowwd; xDD you uWu did ÚwÚ mistake :3 him, >_> suwe. 
BELARIUS. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell; ^-^ wong >_> is >w< it xDD since UwU I saw :3 him, 
OwO But time hath >_< nyothing bwuww'd UwU those lines of ^.^ favouw 
>_< Which xDD then ^.^ he OwO wowe; x3 the ^.^ snyatches uWu in :33 his voice, 
xDD And burst of ^-^ speaking, :3 wewe >_< as ÚwÚ his. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ absowute 
>_< 'Twas xDD vewy xDD Cwoten. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^w^ In ÚwÚ this :33 pwace ^.^ we left OwO them. 
UwU I ÚwÚ wish x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew >_< make ÚwÚ good time with :3 him, 
>_> You >_> say ^.^ he >_> is UwU so x3 feww. 
BELARIUS. uWu Being scawce UwU made up, 
UwU I >_> mean to ^w^ man, ^.^ he xDD had nyot apprehension 
:33 Ow xDD woawing x3 tewwows; fow OwO defect of ^w^ judgment 
Is ;;w;; oft x3 the xDD cease of ;;w;; feaw. 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ GUIDEWIUS with :33 CWOTEN'S >_> head 

But, see, >w< thy ^-^ bwothew. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. This Cloten UwU was :3 a x3 foow, >w< an :33 empty purse; 
>_> Thewe UwU was nyo monyey ÚwÚ in't. ÚwÚ Nyot Hercules 
Could uWu have knyock'd x3 out :33 his uWu bwains, fow ^.^ he xDD had x3 nyonye; 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I nyot xDD doing uWu this, x3 the >w< foow xDD had :3 bownye 
OwO My >_> head >_< as UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ his. 
BELARIUS. >_> What x3 hast xDD thou done? 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. UwU I ^w^ am :3 pewfect :3 what: :3 cut x3 off one Cloten's head, 
^-^ Son to x3 the :3 Queen, ÚwÚ aftew :33 his UwU own >w< wepowt; 
Who ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me traitor, ÚwÚ mountainyeew, ÚwÚ and >w< swowe 
With :33 his UwU own :3 singwe uWu hand >w< he'd OwO take >_> us x3 in, 
uWu Dispwace UwU ouw heads >w< whewe- >_> thank x3 the gods!- ;;w;; they xDD gwow, 
xDD And uWu set them on Wud's ^.^ Town. 
BELARIUS. We OwO awe aww >_< undonye. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Why, ÚwÚ wowthy ÚwÚ fathew, >_> what uWu have ^.^ we to wose 
OwO But :3 that ^.^ he >w< swowe to take, UwU ouw UwU wives? uWu The law 
Protects nyot us; xDD then >w< why >_> shouwd ^.^ we be xDD tendew 
;;w;; To wet >w< an awwogant ^.^ piece of >w< fwesh >_< thweat us, 
>_> Pway OwO judge ÚwÚ and executioner aww himsewf, 
For ^.^ we UwU do feaw x3 the ;;w;; waw? >_> What >_< company 
Discover xDD you abroad? 
BELARIUS. No :3 singwe :3 souw 
UwU Can ^.^ we uWu set ^w^ eye ;;w;; on, >_> but uWu in >w< an >_< safe reason 
>w< He ^w^ must uWu have x3 some ^w^ attendants. ;;w;; Though :33 his humouw 
Was >_< nyothing >_> but mutation- :33 ay, ÚwÚ and :3 that 
Fwom one :33 bad ^.^ thing to >_> wowse- nyot frenzy, nyot 
Absolute ^-^ madnyess couwd UwU so uWu faw uWu have ^-^ wav'd, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him OwO hewe >_< awonye. Awthough ^-^ pewhaps 
^.^ It OwO may be heard uWu at court :3 that xDD such >_< as ^.^ we 
^.^ Cave UwU hewe, OwO hunt UwU hewe, OwO awe outwaws, ÚwÚ and uWu in time 
^-^ May >_< make x3 some stronger ^-^ head- x3 the which ^.^ he UwU heawing, 
;;w;; As >w< it >_> is ^.^ wike :3 him, ^w^ might bweak x3 out ÚwÚ and >_< sweaw 
ÚwÚ He'd :3 fetch >_> us UwU in; yet :3 is't nyot probable 
;;w;; To come ^-^ awonye, xDD eithew ^.^ he UwU so x3 undewtaking 
:33 Ow ;;w;; they UwU so >w< suffewing. UwU Then on ÚwÚ good x3 gwound ^.^ we ;;w;; feaw, 
;;w;; If ^.^ we UwU do feaw ÚwÚ this >w< body hath :3 a :33 taiw 
uWu Mowe :33 pewiwous than x3 the >_> head. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. Let ordinance 
:3 Come >_< as x3 the gods ;;w;; fowesay :3 it. >_< Howsoe'ew, 
OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew hath donye well. 
BELARIUS. UwU I xDD had nyo ^-^ mind 
;;w;; To OwO hunt ÚwÚ this uWu day; x3 the ;;w;; boy :3 Fidewe's sicknyess 
Did >_< make x3 my uWu way ^-^ wong forth. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. With :33 his UwU own uWu swowd, 
>_< Which ^.^ he uWu did x3 wave OwO against x3 my throat, UwU I uWu have >_> ta'en 
ÚwÚ His >_> head from ^.^ him. I'll :33 thwow't x3 into x3 the ÚwÚ cweek 
UwU Behind UwU ouw :33 wock, ÚwÚ and wet >w< it to x3 the sea 
xDD And tell x3 the fishes uWu he's x3 the Queen's x3 son, xDD Cwoten. 
>w< That's aww UwU I reck. uWu Exit 
BELARIUS. UwU I fear'twill be reveng'd. 
Wouwd, Polydore, xDD thou >w< hadst nyot done't! ^w^ though valour 
>_> Becomes uWu thee weww enyough. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. Wouwd UwU I xDD had done't, 
^w^ So x3 the xDD wevenge awonye >_< puwsu'd me! Polydore, 
UwU I wuv uWu thee ^.^ bwothewwy, >_> but :3 envy much 
^.^ Thou x3 hast wobb'd ;;w;; me of ÚwÚ this UwU deed. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> wevenges, 
:33 That OwO possibwe ÚwÚ stwength ^w^ might ^w^ meet, ^.^ wouwd >_> seek >_> us :33 thwough, 
xDD And put >_> us to UwU ouw answer. 
BELARIUS. xDD Weww, UwU 'tis ^-^ donye. 
^-^ We'ww OwO hunt nyo ^.^ mowe uWu to-day, nor >_> seek fow danger 
Whewe there's nyo uWu pwofit. UwU I :33 pwithee to UwU ouw ^-^ wock. 
>_> You ÚwÚ and Fidele :33 pway x3 the x3 cooks; I'll xDD stay 
Tiww >_> hasty Polydore wetuwn, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him 
;;w;; To dinner presently. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. OwO Poow >w< sick Fidele! 
I'll ^w^ wiwwingwy to him; to ^.^ gain :33 his colour 
;;w;; I'd wet :3 a x3 pawish of xDD such Cloten's bwood, 
xDD And praise mysewf fow charity. uWu Exit 
BELARIUS. x3 O xDD thou xDD goddess, 
^.^ Thou divine OwO Nyatuwe, xDD thou >w< thysewf xDD thou uWu bwazon'st 
^w^ In these >w< two princely :33 boys! ^-^ They OwO awe >_< as ^-^ gentwe 
;;w;; As ^.^ zephyws ;;w;; bwowing bewow x3 the violet, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< wagging :33 his x3 sweet head; ÚwÚ and yet >_< as wough, 
^-^ Theiw royal :3 bwood >w< enchaf'd, >_< as x3 the rud'st wind 
:33 That ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; top xDD doth OwO take x3 the OwO mountain pine 
xDD And >_< make ^.^ him >_< stoop to x3 th' vawe. 'Tis wonder 
:33 That >w< an invisible >w< instinct >_> shouwd fwame them 
;;w;; To xDD woyawty ^-^ unweawn'd, honour untaught, 
>_< Civiwity nyot :3 seen from ÚwÚ othew, valour 
:33 That ^-^ wiwdwy gwows uWu in ÚwÚ them, >_> but yiewds :3 a crop 
;;w;; As >_> if >w< it xDD had :33 been ^w^ sow'd. ÚwÚ Yet still x3 it's ;;w;; stwange 
>_> What Cloten's ^.^ being OwO hewe to >_> us >_< powtends, 
:33 Ow >_> what :33 his :33 death xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing >_> us. 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ GUIDEWIUS 

:3 GUIDEWIUS. :3 Whewe's x3 my bwothew? 
UwU I uWu have sent Cloten's clotpoll down x3 the stweam, 
^w^ In uWu embassy to :33 his mothew; :33 his body's :3 hostage 
For :33 his wetuwn. uWu [Sowemn music] 
BELARIUS. OwO My >w< ingenyious x3 instwument! 
Hawk, Polydore, >w< it uWu sounds. OwO But >_> what ;;w;; occasion 
>_< Hath >w< Cadwaw nyow to UwU give >w< it >w< motion? :33 Hawk! 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Is ^.^ he uWu at ^w^ home? 
BELARIUS. >w< He OwO went >w< hence even now. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. >_> What does ^.^ he ^.^ mean? Since :33 death of x3 my x3 deaw'st mothew 
^.^ It uWu did nyot speak befowe. All solemn ^.^ things 
Should answew solemn >_< accidents. uWu The ^.^ mattew? 
^-^ Twiumphs fow >_< nyothing ÚwÚ and lamenting :3 toys 
Is UwU jowwity fow >_< apes ÚwÚ and grief fow ;;w;; boys. 
Is >w< Cadwaw uWu mad? 

^.^ We-entew :3 AWVIWAGUS, with UwU IMOGEN >_< as >_< dead, :33 beawing 
her uWu in :33 his :3 awms 

BELARIUS. x3 Wook, OwO hewe ^.^ he ;;w;; comes, 
xDD And >_< bwings x3 the xDD diwe ;;w;; occasion uWu in :33 his :3 awms 
Of >_> what ^.^ we uWu bwame ^.^ him fow! 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. uWu The biwd >_> is >_< dead 
:33 That ^.^ we uWu have UwU made UwU so much :3 on. UwU I xDD had rather 
:3 Have >_< skipp'd from :33 sixteen years of age to ^w^ sixty, 
;;w;; To uWu have >_> tuwn'd x3 my >_> weaping time x3 into :3 a cwutch, 
Than uWu have :3 seen UwU this. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. x3 O xDD sweetest, >_> faiwest xDD wiwy! 
OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew ^-^ weaws uWu thee nyot x3 the one half UwU so weww 
;;w;; As when xDD thou gwew'st thysewf. 
BELARIUS. x3 O mewanchowy! 
Who OwO evew yet couwd >_> sound >w< thy UwU bottom? find 
uWu The :3 ooze to x3 show >_> what :3 coast >w< thy ^-^ swuggish crare 
OwO Might'st :33 easiwiest uWu hawbouw in? ^.^ Thou blessed x3 thing! 
Juv xDD knyows >_> what x3 man xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst uWu have ÚwÚ made; >_> but I, 
^.^ Thou ^-^ diedst, :3 a UwU most OwO wawe ^-^ boy, of :3 mewanchowy. 
How >_> found xDD you him? 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. Stawk, >_< as xDD you see; 
^-^ Thus :3 smiwing, >_< as x3 some fwy xDD had tickwed >_> swumbew, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< as ^w^ death's xDD dawt, ^.^ being >_< waugh'd OwO at; :33 his >w< wight >_< cheek 
^-^ Weposing on :3 a :33 cushion. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. OwO Whewe? 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. UwU O' x3 th' >_< fwoow; 
ÚwÚ His :3 awms OwO thus :3 weagu'd. UwU I xDD thought ^.^ he swept, ÚwÚ and put 
OwO My ^w^ cwouted UwU bwogues from x3 off x3 my ^.^ feet, x3 whose wudenyess 
Answew'd x3 my steps ^w^ too xDD woud. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Why, ^.^ he >_> but sleeps. 
;;w;; If ^.^ he be >_> gonye he'ww >_< make :33 his :3 gwave :3 a bed; 
With >_< femawe ^-^ faiwies xDD wiww :33 his tomb be haunted, 
xDD And wowms xDD wiww nyot come to thee. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. With >_> faiwest flowers, 
Whilst ^-^ summew lasts ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ wive UwU hewe, Fidewe, 
I'll sweeten >w< thy >_> sad x3 gwave. ^.^ Thou shalt nyot ^.^ wack 
uWu The fwowew ^w^ that's ^.^ wike >w< thy >w< face, pawe pwimwose; nor 
uWu The azuw'd >_< hawe-beww, ^.^ wike >w< thy UwU veins; no, nor 
uWu The OwO weaf of >_> egwantinye, ÚwÚ whom nyot to slander, 
Out-sweet'ned nyot >w< thy >_< bweath. uWu The >_> wuddock :3 wouwd, 
With x3 chawitabwe biww- x3 O bill, ^w^ sowe :33 shaming 
>w< Those wich-weft :3 heiws :3 that wet uWu theiw uWu fathews >_< wie 
Without :3 a monument!- ;;w;; bwing uWu thee aww >_< this; 
Yea, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fuww'd OwO moss >_< besides, when flow'rs OwO awe nyonye, 
;;w;; To >_< wintew-gwound >w< thy corse- 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. UwU Pwithee uWu have :33 donye, 
xDD And UwU do nyot :33 pway uWu in uWu wench-wike wowds with :3 that 
>_< Which >_> is UwU so ^w^ sewious. Let >_> us ^.^ buwy :3 him, 
xDD And nyot ^w^ pwotwact with admiration >_> what 
Is nyow >_< due debt. ;;w;; To x3 th' x3 gwave. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. Say, :3 whewe shaww's uWu way him? 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. ^-^ By ÚwÚ good Euwiphiwe, UwU ouw x3 mothew. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^w^ Be't so; 
xDD And wet us, Polydore, ^w^ though nyow UwU ouw ^w^ voices 
:3 Have ^w^ got x3 the ;;w;; mannyish xDD cwack, ^.^ sing ^.^ him to x3 th' ground, 
;;w;; As >_> once to UwU ouw mothew; use ^.^ wike ^-^ nyote ÚwÚ and wowds, 
:3 Save :3 that Euwiphiwe ^w^ must be ;;w;; Fidewe. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Cadwal, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; sing. I'll >_> weep, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wowd >w< it with ÚwÚ thee; 
For >_> nyotes of sorrow x3 out of tune OwO awe xDD wowse 
Than priests ÚwÚ and >w< fanyes :3 that xDD wie. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^-^ We'ww speak :33 it, UwU then. 
BELARIUS. UwU Gweat ^.^ gwiefs, UwU I see, med'cinye x3 the UwU wess, fow Cloten 
Is quite :3 fowgot. >w< He UwU was :3 a uWu queen's x3 son, boys; 
xDD And ^w^ though ^.^ he ^-^ came UwU ouw enyemy, remember 
>w< He UwU was paid fow x3 that. ;;w;; Though >_> mean ÚwÚ and ^-^ mighty wotting 
OwO Togethew uWu have one :33 dust, yet wevewence- 
:33 That ÚwÚ angew of x3 the world- xDD doth >_< make distinction 
Of :33 pwace >_> 'tween xDD high ÚwÚ and wow. Our foe UwU was pwincewy; 
xDD And ^w^ though xDD you >_> took :33 his :3 wife, >_< as ^.^ being UwU ouw x3 foe, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ buwy ^.^ him >_< as :3 a pwince. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. >_> Pway xDD you :3 fetch ^.^ him hithew. 
>w< Thewsites' >w< body >_> is >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as :3 Ajax', 
x3 When :3 nyeithew OwO awe alive. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ;;w;; If you'ww OwO go :3 fetch :3 him, 
^-^ We'ww >_> say UwU ouw ÚwÚ song x3 the ^.^ whiwst. UwU Bwothew, ;;w;; begin. 
uWu Exit ÚwÚ BEWAWIUS 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Nyay, Cadwal, ^.^ we ^w^ must uWu way :33 his >_> head to x3 th' >_> East; 
OwO My >w< fathew hath :3 a reason xDD fow't. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. 'Tis true. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. :3 Come ;;w;; on, >w< then, ÚwÚ and remove ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^w^ So. Begin. 

OwO SONG 

:3 GUIDEWIUS. Fear nyo ^.^ mowe x3 the ^.^ heat ^.^ o' x3 th' sun 
x3 Nyow x3 the ÚwÚ fuwious winter's wages; 
^.^ Thou >w< thy ^-^ wowwdwy :3 task x3 hast :33 donye, 
x3 Home awt >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and >_> ta'en >w< thy wages. 
Gowden wads ÚwÚ and giwws aww ;;w;; must, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ chimnyey-sweepews, come to dust. 

ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. Fear nyo ^.^ mowe x3 the fwown ^.^ o' x3 th' gweat; 
^.^ Thou awt x3 past x3 the x3 tywant's ^-^ stwoke. 
Cawe nyo ^.^ mowe to UwU cwothe ÚwÚ and ;;w;; eat; 
;;w;; To uWu thee x3 the >_< weed >_> is >_< as x3 the ^-^ oak. 
uWu The sceptre, ^w^ weawnying, x3 physic, ^w^ must 
All ;;w;; fowwow ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and come to dust. 

:3 GUIDEWIUS. Fear nyo ^.^ mowe x3 the lightning OwO fwash, 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. x3 Nyow x3 th' UwU aww-dweaded thunder-stone; 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Fear nyot slander, UwU censuwe wash; 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^.^ Thou x3 hast :33 finyish'd joy ÚwÚ and ^w^ moan. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. All ^w^ wuvws >_> young, aww ^w^ wuvws ^w^ must 
Consign to uWu thee ÚwÚ and come to dust. 

:3 GUIDEWIUS. No exorciser x3 hawm uWu thee! 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. x3 Nyow nyo uWu witchcwaft >_> chawm uWu thee! 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. >_< Ghost unlaid ÚwÚ fowbeaw uWu thee! 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. Nyothing :33 iww come nyeaw uWu thee! 
ÚwÚ BOTH. Quiet consummation have, 
xDD And uWu wenyownyed be >w< thy grave! 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ BEWAWIUS with x3 the >w< body of CLOTEN 

:3 GUIDEWIUS. We uWu have donye UwU ouw obsequies. ^.^ Come, uWu way ^.^ him down. 
BELARIUS. >_> Hewe's :3 a x3 few >_> fwowews; >_> but 'bout midnight, more. 
uWu The >w< hewbs :3 that uWu have on them UwU cowd :33 dew ^.^ o' x3 th' >w< nyight 
^w^ Awe >_> stwewings fit'st fow UwU gwaves. >_> Upon uWu theiw UwU faces. 
>_> You :3 wewe >_< as ^.^ fwow'ws, nyow wither'd. Even UwU so 
;;w;; These hewbwets UwU shaww which ^.^ we ;;w;; upon xDD you stwew. 
:3 Come ;;w;; on, xDD away. Apawt ;;w;; upon UwU ouw knyees. 
uWu The x3 gwound :3 that uWu gave them xDD fiwst >_> has them ;;w;; again. 
^-^ Theiw >_< pweasuwes OwO hewe OwO awe past, UwU so >_> is uWu theiw OwO pain. 
Exeunt aww >_> but UwU IMOGEN 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU [Awaking] Yes, ^w^ siw, to Miwfowd Haven. >_< Which >_> is x3 the >w< way? 
UwU I >_> thank OwO you. ^-^ By :33 yond ;;w;; bush? ÚwÚ Pway, >w< how uWu faw x3 thithew? 
'Ods pittikins! ^.^ can >w< it be six miwe :33 yet? 
UwU I uWu have >_> gonye aww OwO nyight. Faith, I'll >_< wie down ÚwÚ and OwO sweep. 
But, xDD soft! nyo uWu bedfewwow. x3 O gods ÚwÚ and UwU goddesses! 
^-^ [Seeing x3 the >_> body] 
;;w;; These flow'rs OwO awe ^.^ wike x3 the >_< pweasuwes of x3 the wowwd; 
This bwoody ^w^ man, x3 the :3 cawe ^.^ on't. UwU I UwU hope UwU I dream; 
For UwU so UwU I xDD thought UwU I UwU was :3 a cave-keepew, 
xDD And cook to xDD honyest >w< cweatuwes. OwO But UwU 'tis nyot so; 
>_< 'Twas >_> but :3 a OwO bowt of uWu nyothing, UwU shot uWu at uWu nyothing, 
>_< Which x3 the :3 bwain x3 makes of ÚwÚ fumes. Our xDD vewy eyes 
^w^ Awe >_< sometimes, ^.^ wike UwU ouw xDD judgments, bwind. ^-^ Good ^w^ faith, 
UwU I :3 twembwe still with x3 feaw; >_> but >_> if there be 
ÚwÚ Yet left uWu in heaven >_< as UwU smaww :3 a >_< dwop of pity 
;;w;; As :3 a wren's >_< eye, feaw'd uWu gods, :3 a ÚwÚ pawt of :3 it! 
uWu The dweam's OwO hewe xDD stiww. Even when UwU I wake >w< it >_> is 
Without uWu me, >_< as within OwO me; nyot imagin'd, ÚwÚ fewt. 
^-^ A headless man? uWu The xDD gawments of OwO Posthumus? 
UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the xDD shape >_> of's >_< weg; ÚwÚ this >_> is :33 his uWu hand, 
ÚwÚ His :33 foot Mewcuwiaw, :33 his OwO Mawtiaw >w< thigh, 
uWu The :33 bwawns of :33 Hewcuwes; >_> but :33 his *twerks* Joviaw ÚwÚ face- 
>_> Muwdew uWu in :3 heaven! OwO How! 'Tis ;;w;; gonye. Pisanio, 
All cuwses >_< madded Hecuba uWu gave x3 the UwU Gweeks, 
xDD And >_< minye to UwU boot, be ^-^ dawted on uWu thee! Thou, 
Conspiw'd with :3 that >w< iwweguwous deviw, ^w^ Cwoten, 
>_< Hath OwO hewe :3 cut x3 off x3 my OwO wowd. ;;w;; To >w< wwite ÚwÚ and ^w^ wead 
^w^ Be henceforth >_> tweachewous! >_< Damn'd OwO Pisanyio 
>_< Hath with :33 his forged *sighs* wettews- damn'd Pisanio- 
Fwom ÚwÚ this UwU most ÚwÚ bwavest vessel of x3 the wowwd 
>w< Stwuck x3 the main-top. x3 O Posthumus! :3 awas, 
Whewe >_> is >w< thy head? :3 Whewe's ^-^ that? uWu Ay me! where's ^-^ that? 
OwO Pisanyio ^w^ might uWu have kill'd uWu thee uWu at x3 the uWu heawt, 
xDD And left ÚwÚ this >_> head :3 on. How >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this :3 be? ^w^ Pisanyio? 
'Tis ^.^ he ÚwÚ and Cloten; malice ÚwÚ and lucre uWu in them 
:3 Have laid ÚwÚ this woe hewe. >_< O, UwU 'tis pwegnyant, pregnant! 
uWu The drug ^.^ he uWu gave uWu me, which ^.^ he uWu said UwU was >_< pwecious 
xDD And cowdiaw to uWu me, uWu have UwU I nyot >_> found >w< it 
Muwd'wous to x3 th' OwO senses? :33 That confirms >w< it >_> home. 
This >_> is OwO Pisanyio's OwO deed, ÚwÚ and xDD Cwoten. :3 O! 
Give colour to x3 my pawe >_< cheek with >w< thy bwood, 
:33 That ^.^ we x3 the horrider OwO may xDD seem to UwU those 
>_< Which chance to find >_> us. >_< O, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
^.^ [Fawws xDD fainting on x3 the >_> body] 

Entew LUCIUS, xDD CAPTAINS, ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu SOOTHSAYEW 

CAPTAIN. ;;w;; To them x3 the legions garrison'd uWu in OwO Gawwia, 
>w< Aftew x3 youw :33 wiww, uWu have cwoss'd x3 the :33 sea, :33 attending 
>_> You OwO hewe uWu at Miwfowd ^-^ Haven; with x3 youw >_> ships, 
^-^ They OwO awe uWu in ;;w;; weadinyess. 
WUCIUS. OwO But >_> what from >w< Wome? 
CAPTAIN. uWu The :33 Senyate hath stirr'd x3 up x3 the ^-^ confinyews 
xDD And gentlemen of Italy, UwU most ^.^ wiwwing ^.^ spiwits, 
:33 That promise x3 nyobwe ^w^ sewvice; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they come 
;;w;; Undew x3 the ÚwÚ conduct of bold uWu Iachimo, 
Sienna's ^-^ bwothew. 
WUCIUS. x3 When >_< expect xDD you them? 
CAPTAIN. With x3 the :3 nyext ^-^ benyefit ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ wind. 
WUCIUS. This UwU fowwawdnyess 
:3 Makes UwU ouw hopes >_< faiw. xDD Command UwU ouw xDD pwesent xDD nyumbews 
^w^ Be mustew'd; bid x3 the ^.^ captains wook to't. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, 
>_> What uWu have xDD you ^.^ dweam'd of wate of ÚwÚ this waw's purpose? 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. UwU Wast >w< nyight x3 the xDD vewy gods ^w^ show'd ;;w;; me :3 a vision- 
UwU I ÚwÚ fast ÚwÚ and pray'd fow uWu theiw intewwigence- thus: 
UwU I saw Juv's bird, x3 the Roman :33 eagwe, wing'd 
Fwom x3 the >_< spongy south to ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the ^-^ west, 
>_> Thewe vanyish'd uWu in x3 the sunbeams; which >_< powtends, 
OwO Unwess x3 my :3 sins abuse x3 my UwU divinyation, 
:33 Success to x3 th' Roman >_< host. 
WUCIUS. ^.^ Dweam often >_> so, 
xDD And >_< nyevew >w< fawse. ^-^ Soft, ho! >_> what UwU twunk >_> is OwO hewe 
Without :33 his :3 top? uWu The xDD wuin xDD speaks :3 that ÚwÚ sometime 
^.^ It UwU was :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy buiwding. ÚwÚ How? :3 a ^w^ page? 
:33 Ow >_< dead ow x3 sweeping on him? OwO But >_< dead, wathew; 
For ÚwÚ nyatuwe xDD doth abhow to >_< make :33 his x3 bed 
With x3 the :3 defunct, ow :33 sweep ;;w;; upon x3 the uWu dead. 
:3 Wet's >_> see x3 the boy's ;;w;; face. 
CAPTAIN. He's ^.^ awive, x3 my OwO wowd. 
WUCIUS. ^-^ He'ww xDD then instwuct >_> us of ÚwÚ this body. Young one, 
Inform >_> us of >w< thy fortunes; fow >w< it ;;w;; seems 
^-^ They ^w^ cwave to be demanded. Who >_> is ÚwÚ this 
^.^ Thou xDD mak'st >w< thy bwoody uWu piwwow? :33 Ow who UwU was ^.^ he 
^.^ That, ^-^ othewwise than x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^-^ did, 
>_< Hath awtew'd :3 that ÚwÚ good :33 pictuwe? x3 What's >w< thy ÚwÚ intewest 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this >_> sad wreck? How came't? Who is't? >_> What awt thou? 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I ^w^ am uWu nyothing; ow >_> if >_> nyot, 
Nyothing to be :3 wewe ^-^ bettew. This UwU was x3 my ^.^ mastew, 
^-^ A xDD vewy uWu vawiant Briton ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU good, 
:33 That OwO hewe ^.^ by mountaineers wies ^w^ swain. ^-^ Awas! 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe xDD such ^w^ mastews. UwU I OwO may >w< wandew 
Fwom uWu east to xDD occident; cwy x3 out fow ^w^ sewvice; 
Twy UwU many, aww good; serve ÚwÚ twuwy; >_< nyevew 
UwU Find xDD such anyothew master. 
WUCIUS. 'Lack, ÚwÚ good xDD youth! 
^.^ Thou mov'st nyo less with >w< thy compwainying than 
x3 Thy >_< mastew uWu in UwU bweeding. x3 Say :33 his :33 nyame, ÚwÚ good :3 fwiend. 
UwU IMOGEN. Richard OwO du ^w^ Champ. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do wie, ÚwÚ and UwU do 
No x3 hawm ^.^ by :33 it, ^w^ though x3 the gods heaw, UwU I UwU hope 
x3 They'ww UwU pawdon ^w^ it.- x3 Say UwU you, UwU siw? 
WUCIUS. x3 Thy :3 nyame? 
UwU IMOGEN. Fidewe, sir. 
WUCIUS. ^.^ Thou dost approve >w< thysewf x3 the xDD vewy >w< same; 
x3 Thy xDD nyame weww ^w^ fits >w< thy ^w^ faith, >w< thy :33 faith >w< thy nyame. 
;;w;; Wiwt OwO take >w< thy chance with me? UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> say 
^.^ Thou shalt be UwU so weww mastew'd; but, be x3 suwe, 
No less xDD bewov'd. uWu The Roman uWu Empewow's letters, 
:3 Sent ^.^ by :3 a xDD consuw to uWu me, >_> shouwd nyot :33 soonyew 
Than ^.^ thinye UwU own ^.^ wowth prefer thee. Go with x3 me. 
UwU IMOGEN. I'll follow, sir. OwO But ÚwÚ fiwst, UwU an't uWu pwease x3 the uWu gods, 
I'll hide x3 my >_< mastew from x3 the flies, >_< as >_> deep 
;;w;; As these poor :3 pickaxes ^.^ can dig; ÚwÚ and when 
With >w< wiwd ^.^ wood-weaves ÚwÚ and UwU weeds UwU I UwU ha' UwU stwew'd :33 his ^-^ gwave, 
xDD And on >w< it uWu said :3 a centuwy of pwayews, 
>w< Such >_< as UwU I ^-^ can, twice uWu o'ew, I'll xDD weep ÚwÚ and >_< sigh; 
xDD And xDD weaving UwU so :33 his sewvice, ;;w;; fowwow UwU you, 
^w^ So uWu pwease xDD you entertain x3 me. 
WUCIUS. Ay, ÚwÚ good uWu youth; 
xDD And rather >w< fathew uWu thee than >_< mastew thee. 
OwO My OwO fwiends, 
uWu The ;;w;; boy hath ÚwÚ taught >_> us xDD manwy :3 duties; wet >_> us 
UwU Find x3 out x3 the pwettiest UwU daisied :3 pwot ^.^ we ^-^ can, 
xDD And >_< make ^.^ him with UwU ouw >_< pikes ÚwÚ and ^.^ pawtisans 
^-^ A x3 gwave. ^.^ Come, awm ^.^ him. :33 Boy, ^.^ he >_> is pwefeww'd 
^-^ By uWu thee to us; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww be UwU inteww'd 
;;w;; As ^-^ sowdiews ;;w;; can. ^w^ Be cheewfuw; xDD wipe ^.^ thinye :3 eyes. 
;;w;; Some ^w^ fawws OwO awe means x3 the uWu happiew to uWu awise. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
;;w;; Bwitain. CYMBEWINyE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew CYMBELINE, LORDS, OwO PISANyIO, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Again! ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd >w< how UwU 'tis with her. 
uWu Exit >w< an x3 attendant 
^-^ A x3 fevew with x3 the >w< absence of her son; 
^-^ A xDD madnyess, of which her ^w^ wife's uWu in danger. >w< Heavens, 
How deepwy xDD you uWu at >_> once UwU do :33 touch me! x3 Imogen, 
uWu The great ÚwÚ pawt of x3 my comfort, xDD gonye; x3 my >_< queen 
>_> Upon :3 a despewate ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 a time 
x3 When x3 feawfuw UwU waws :33 point uWu at OwO me; her >_< son >w< gonye, 
^w^ So needful fow ÚwÚ this :33 pwesent. ^.^ It :33 stwikes ;;w;; me x3 past 
uWu The UwU hope of UwU comfowt. OwO But fow ÚwÚ thee, fewwow, 
Who >_< nyeeds ^w^ must ^.^ knyow of her :3 depawtuwe ÚwÚ and 
uWu Dost xDD seem UwU so ignorant, we'll enforce >w< it from uWu thee 
^-^ By :3 a ^-^ shawp towtuwe. 
PISANIO. UwU Siw, x3 my >w< wife >_> is OwO youws; 
UwU I x3 humbwy uWu set >w< it uWu at x3 youw :33 wiww; >_> but fow x3 my ^-^ mistwess, 
UwU I >_< nyothing ^.^ knyow :3 whewe ^.^ she >_< wemains, >w< why >w< gonye, 
x3 Nyow when ^.^ she uWu puwposes wetuwn. Beseech x3 youw >w< Highnyess, 
:33 Howd ;;w;; me x3 youw loyal servant. 
WOWD. ^-^ Good x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
uWu The day :3 that ^.^ she UwU was missing ^.^ he UwU was hewe. 
UwU I dawe be bound uWu he's true ÚwÚ and UwU shaww x3 pewfowm 
All parts of :33 his ÚwÚ subjection woyawwy. For ^w^ Cwoten, 
>_> Thewe wants nyo diligence uWu in UwU seeking :3 him, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyo doubt be uWu found. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. uWu The time >_> is troublesome. 
:33 [To PISANIO] ^-^ We'ww swip xDD you fow :3 a :3 season; >_> but UwU ouw ^.^ jeawousy 
ÚwÚ Does yet ;;w;; depend. 
WOWD. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, 
uWu The Roman legions, aww from Gawwia x3 dwawn, 
^w^ Awe landed on x3 youw :33 coast, with :3 a suppwy 
Of Roman gentlemen ^.^ by x3 the :33 Senyate sent. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Now fow x3 the counsel of x3 my >_< son ÚwÚ and ^.^ queen! 
UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ amaz'd with :3 mattew. 
WOWD. ^-^ Good x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
uWu Youw uWu pwepawation ^.^ can uWu affwont nyo less 
Than >_> what xDD you hear uWu of. :3 Come >_> mowe, fow ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ you'we weady. 
uWu The ^.^ want >_> is >_> but to put UwU those pow'rs uWu in >_> motion 
:33 That ^-^ wong to ;;w;; muv. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. UwU I >_> thank OwO you. :3 Wet's :3 withdwaw, 
xDD And :3 meet x3 the time >_< as >w< it >_> seeks >_> us. We feaw nyot 
>_> What ^.^ can from Italy ^w^ annyoy us; >_> but 
We UwU gwieve uWu at chances hewe. >_> Away! Exeunt aww >_> but :3 PISANyIO 
PISANIO. UwU I heard nyo >_> wettew from x3 my >_< mastew xDD since 
UwU I wwote ^.^ him Imogen UwU was ^w^ swain. 'Tis x3 stwange. 
x3 Nyow hear UwU I from x3 my ^-^ mistwess, who uWu did promise 
;;w;; To yield ;;w;; me often UwU tidings. >_> Nyeithew ^.^ knyow 
>_> What >_> is :33 betid to ^w^ Cwoten, >_> but wemain 
>_> Pewpwex'd uWu in all. uWu The heavens still ^w^ must >w< wowk. 
^-^ Whewein UwU I ^w^ am UwU fawse UwU I ^w^ am xDD honyest; nyot ^-^ twue, to be true. 
;;w;; These xDD pwesent UwU waws UwU shaww find UwU I wuv x3 my country, 
Even to x3 the ^-^ nyote ^.^ o' x3 th' OwO King, ow I'll faww uWu in OwO them. 
All othew doubts, ^.^ by time wet them be clear'd: 
:33 Fowtunye >_< bwings uWu in x3 some ^w^ boats :3 that OwO awe nyot ^w^ steew'd. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
Wales. ^.^ Befowe x3 the cave of ÚwÚ BEWAWIUS 

Entew xDD BEWAWIUS, ^.^ GUIDEWIUS, ÚwÚ and AWVIWAGUS 

:3 GUIDEWIUS. uWu The noise >_> is ;;w;; wound about >_> us. 
BELARIUS. Let >_> us from :3 it. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. >_> What x3 pweasuwe, ^w^ siw, find ^.^ we uWu in :3 wife, to OwO wock >w< it 
Fwom uWu action ÚwÚ and adventuwe? 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Nyay, >_> what UwU hope 
:3 Have ^.^ we uWu in OwO hiding us? This uWu way x3 the Romans 
:3 Must ow fow ^.^ Bwitons slay us, ow receive >_> us 
For barbarous ÚwÚ and unnyatuwaw revolts 
^w^ Duwing uWu theiw ^.^ use, ÚwÚ and slay >_> us >w< aftew. 
BELARIUS. ^-^ Sons, 
^-^ We'ww :3 highew to x3 the UwU mountains; there ^.^ secuwe >_> us. 
;;w;; To x3 the >_< King's party there's nyo uWu going. >_< Nyewnyess 
Of Cloten's >w< death- ^.^ we ^.^ being nyot ^-^ knyown, nyot :3 mustew'd 
>_> Among x3 the OwO bands-may UwU dwive >_> us to :3 a render 
Whewe ^.^ we uWu have liv'd, ÚwÚ and UwU so extowt ;;w;; fwom's :3 that 
>_< Which ^.^ we uWu have :33 donye, x3 whose answew ^.^ wouwd be UwU death, 
Drawn on with towtuwe. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. This ;;w;; is, ^w^ siw, :3 a doubt 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a time >_< nyothing >_< becoming xDD you 
x3 Nyow x3 satisfying >_> us. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^.^ It >_> is nyot ÚwÚ wikewy 
:33 That when ;;w;; they hear x3 the Roman :3 howses ^-^ nyeigh, 
ÚwÚ Behowd uWu theiw quawtew'd ^-^ fiwes, uWu have both uWu theiw eyes 
xDD And OwO eaws UwU so ;;w;; cwoy'd ÚwÚ impowtantwy >_< as now, 
:33 That ;;w;; they xDD wiww uWu waste uWu theiw time ;;w;; upon UwU ouw :3 nyote, 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow from >_> whence ^.^ we x3 awe. 
BELARIUS. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ knyown 
Of UwU many uWu in x3 the army. xDD Many years, 
;;w;; Though Cloten xDD then >_> but >_> young, xDD you see, nyot ÚwÚ wowe ^.^ him 
Fwom x3 my :3 wemembwance. ^.^ And, >_< besides, x3 the ^w^ King 
>_< Hath nyot OwO desewv'd x3 my OwO sewvice nor x3 youw wuvs, 
Who find uWu in x3 my exiwe x3 the ^.^ want of uWu bweeding, 
uWu The cewtainty of ÚwÚ this x3 hawd :33 wife; ^.^ aye :33 hopewess 
;;w;; To uWu have x3 the >w< couwtesy x3 youw >_> cwadwe pwomis'd, 
OwO But to be still :3 hot :33 summew's ÚwÚ tanwings ÚwÚ and 
uWu The shrinking xDD swaves of winter. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Than be >_> so, 
uWu Bettew to xDD cease to >w< be. ÚwÚ Pway, ^w^ siw, to x3 th' army. 
UwU I ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew OwO awe nyot x3 knyown; >_> youwsewf 
^w^ So x3 out of ^-^ thought, ÚwÚ and thereto UwU so o'ergrown, 
UwU Cannyot be questionyed. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this sun :3 that shinyes, 
I'll xDD thithew. >_> What ^.^ thing :3 is't :3 that UwU I >_< nyevew 
Did >_> see x3 man ^-^ die! scawce OwO evew >_> wook'd on :3 bwood 
OwO But :3 that of x3 cowawd hares, :3 hot ^.^ goats, ÚwÚ and ^-^ venyison! 
xDD Nyevew ^w^ bestwid :3 a horse, :3 save one :3 that xDD had 
^-^ A widew ^.^ wike myself, who ^w^ nye'ew ÚwÚ wowe >_< wowew 
x3 Nyow iwon on :33 his heew! UwU I ^w^ am >w< asham'd 
;;w;; To wook ;;w;; upon x3 the >w< howy sun, to uWu have 
uWu The ^-^ benyefit of :33 his bwest ;;w;; beams, ^w^ wemainying 
^w^ So ^-^ wong :3 a poor unknown. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. ^-^ By >w< heavens, I'll :3 go! 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww ;;w;; bwess uWu me, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and UwU give ;;w;; me weave, 
I'll OwO take x3 the xDD bettew ;;w;; cawe; >_> but >_> if xDD you xDD wiww >_> nyot, 
uWu The >_< hazawd >_< thewefowe >_< due faww on ;;w;; me ^.^ by 
uWu The ^.^ hands of Romans! 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^w^ So >_> say ^.^ I. ÚwÚ Amen. 
BELARIUS. No reason I, xDD since of x3 youw ;;w;; wives xDD you uWu set 
^w^ So :3 swight :3 a >w< vawuation, >_> shouwd reserve 
OwO My >_< cwack'd one to ^.^ mowe >w< cawe. :3 Have with UwU you, :33 boys! 
;;w;; If uWu in x3 youw countwy UwU waws xDD you chance to >_> die, 
:33 That >_> is x3 my x3 bed :3 too, >w< wads, ÚwÚ and there I'll xDD wie. 
:33 Wead, wead. :3 [Aside] uWu The time ;;w;; seems xDD wong; uWu theiw :3 bwood ^w^ thinks ^w^ scown 
Tiww >w< it fwy x3 out ÚwÚ and x3 show them pwinces born. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
;;w;; Bwitain. uWu The Roman ÚwÚ camp 

Entew POSTHUMUS ^-^ awonye, with :3 a bwoody handkerchief 

:3 POSTHUMUS. Yea, bwoody >_< cwoth, I'll >_< keep ÚwÚ thee; fow UwU I >w< wish'd 
^.^ Thou shouwdst be cowouw'd OwO thus. >_> You mawwied onyes, 
;;w;; If >_< each of xDD you >_> shouwd OwO take ÚwÚ this course, >w< how UwU many 
:3 Must murder ;;w;; wives much xDD bettew than x3 themsewves 
For wwying >_> but :3 a >_> wittwe! x3 O :33 Pisanyio! 
Evewy ÚwÚ good xDD sewvant does nyot aww :33 commands; 
No :3 bond >_> but to UwU do >w< just ÚwÚ onyes. UwU Gods! >_> if xDD you 
Should uWu have >_> ta'en UwU vengeance on x3 my fauwts, UwU I >_< nyevew 
xDD Had liv'd to put on >_< this; UwU so xDD had xDD you ÚwÚ saved 
uWu The x3 nyobwe Imogen to repent, ÚwÚ and >w< stwuck 
>_> Me, uWu wwetch ^.^ mowe ^.^ wowth x3 youw x3 vengeance. OwO But awack, 
>_> You snatch x3 some >w< hence fow xDD wittwe fauwts; ^w^ that's xDD wuv, 
;;w;; To uWu have them faww nyo more. >_> You x3 some >_< pewmit 
;;w;; To second ills with iwws, >_< each :33 ewdew ^-^ wowse, 
xDD And >_< make them xDD dwead :33 it, to x3 the doer's >w< thwift. 
OwO But Imogen >_> is x3 youw own. Do x3 youw best wiwws, 
xDD And >_< make ;;w;; me bwest to OwO obey. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ bwought ÚwÚ hithew 
>_> Among x3 th' Itawian gentry, ÚwÚ and to >w< fight 
^w^ Against x3 my >_> wady's >_> kingdom. 'Tis enough 
^.^ That, ^-^ Bwitain, UwU I uWu have kill'd >w< thy mistress; peace! 
I'll UwU give nyo ;;w;; wound to thee. >_< Thewefowe, ÚwÚ good >w< heavens, 
>w< Heaw x3 patientwy x3 my puwpose. I'll diswobe ;;w;; me 
Of these Itawian ÚwÚ weeds, ÚwÚ and >_> suit mysewf 
;;w;; As does :3 a uWu Bwitain >_< peasant. ^w^ So I'll >w< fight 
^w^ Against x3 the ÚwÚ pawt UwU I come x3 with; UwU so I'll ^-^ die 
For ÚwÚ thee, x3 O x3 Imogen, even fow ÚwÚ whom x3 my >w< wife 
Is every UwU bweath :3 a death. xDD And OwO thus uWu unknyown, 
>_> Pitied nor hated, to x3 the OwO face of peril 
xDD Mysewf I'll :33 dedicate. Let ;;w;; me >_< make ;;w;; men ^.^ knyow 
uWu Mowe valour uWu in ;;w;; me than x3 my :3 habits show. 
^-^ Gods, put x3 the ÚwÚ stwength ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ Weonyati uWu in me! 
;;w;; To ^-^ shame x3 the guise ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, UwU I xDD wiww x3 begin 
uWu The fashion- less ^-^ without ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe x3 within. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
;;w;; Bwitain. ^-^ A field of ÚwÚ battwe ^-^ between x3 the British ÚwÚ and Roman >_> camps 

Entew LUCIUS, ^w^ IACHIMO, ÚwÚ and x3 the Roman ^.^ awmy uWu at one door, ÚwÚ and x3 the British ^.^ awmy 
uWu at another, uWu WEONyATUS POSTHUMUS fowwowing ^.^ wike :3 a poor OwO sowdiew. 
^-^ They :33 mawch uvw ÚwÚ and OwO go OwO out. Alarums. UwU Then enter OwO again, uWu in >_> skiwmish, 
uWu IACHIMO ÚwÚ and :3 POSTHUMUS. >w< He ÚwÚ vanquisheth ÚwÚ and disarmeth ^w^ IACHIMO, 
ÚwÚ and xDD then >w< weaves ^.^ him 

IACHIMO. uWu The heaviness ÚwÚ and guilt within x3 my ^w^ bosom 
Takes x3 off x3 my >w< manhood. UwU I uWu have belied :3 a UwU wady, 
uWu The Pwincess of ÚwÚ this country, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ aiw ^.^ on't 
>w< Wevengingwy enfeebwes OwO me; ow couwd ÚwÚ this >_> caww, 
^-^ A xDD vewy drudge of nyatuwe's, uWu have :33 subdu'd ;;w;; me 
^w^ In x3 my UwU pwofession? ^w^ Knyighthoods ÚwÚ and honyouws :3 bownye 
;;w;; As UwU I ^-^ weaw >_< minye OwO awe titles >_> but of xDD scown. 
;;w;; If :3 that >w< thy gentry, ^-^ Bwitain, OwO go >w< befowe 
This UwU wout >_< as ^.^ he exceeds UwU ouw wowds, x3 the ^w^ odds 
Is :3 that ^.^ we scawce OwO awe men, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe gods. uWu Exit 

uWu The ÚwÚ battwe continyues; x3 the ^w^ BWITONS xDD fwy; CYMBELINE >_> is >_< taken. 
UwU Then enter to :33 his OwO wescue xDD BEWAWIUS, ^.^ GUIDEWIUS, ÚwÚ and AWVIWAGUS 

BELARIUS. >_> Stand, stand! We uWu have x3 th' ^w^ advantage of x3 the ^.^ gwound; 
uWu The ^w^ wanye >_> is ^-^ guawded; >_< nyothing UwU wouts >_> us >_> but 
uWu The xDD viwwainy of UwU ouw fears. 
^-^ GUIDEWIUS ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. >_> Stand, x3 stand, ÚwÚ and ^.^ fight! 

^.^ We-entew UwU POSTHUMUS, ÚwÚ and seconds x3 the Britons; ;;w;; they OwO wescue 
CYMBELINE, ÚwÚ and >_> exeunt. UwU Then re-enter :33 WUCIUS ÚwÚ and ^w^ IACHIMO, 
with UwU IMOGEN 

WUCIUS. :33 Away, ^-^ boy, from x3 the ^.^ twoops, ÚwÚ and :3 save xDD thysewf; 
For ^w^ fwiends OwO kiww OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and x3 the disowdew's xDD such 
;;w;; As >w< waw :3 wewe ^w^ hoodwink'd. 
IACHIMO. 'Tis uWu theiw >w< fwesh UwU suppwies. 
WUCIUS. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a day >_> tuwn'd stwangewy. :33 Ow betimes 
:3 Wet's reinforce ow fwy. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

Entew POSTHUMUS ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu Bwitain >w< WOWD 

WOWD. Cam'st xDD thou from :3 whewe ;;w;; they UwU made x3 the stand? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU I UwU did: 
;;w;; Though UwU you, >w< it seems, come from x3 the ^.^ fwiews. 
WOWD. UwU I ^.^ did. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. No uWu bwame be to UwU you, ^w^ siw, fow aww UwU was :3 wost, 
OwO But :3 that x3 the heavens :33 fought. uWu The ^w^ King >_< himsewf 
Of :33 his x3 wings OwO destitute, x3 the ^.^ awmy OwO bwoken, 
xDD And >_> but x3 the backs of ^.^ Bwitons uWu seen, >w< an flying, 
^.^ Thwough :3 a stwait wanye- x3 the enyemy, :33 fuww-heawted, 
^.^ Wowwing x3 the >_> tongue with swaught'wing, xDD having ^.^ wowk 
uWu Mowe :3 pwentifuw than ^w^ toows to ;;w;; do't, >w< stwuck down 
;;w;; Some x3 mowtawwy, x3 some swightwy ^-^ touch'd, x3 some falling 
x3 Mewewy ^w^ thwough ;;w;; feaw, :3 that x3 the stwait pass UwU was >_< damm'd 
With >_< dead ;;w;; men ÚwÚ huwt behind, ÚwÚ and ^w^ cowawds UwU wiving 
;;w;; To ^-^ die with >w< wength'nyed ;;w;; shame. 
WOWD. Whewe UwU was ÚwÚ this wanye? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. :33 Cwose ^.^ by x3 the battwe, ^.^ ditch'd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ waww'd with tuwf, 
>_< Which uWu gave ^w^ advantage to >w< an UwU ancient sowdiew- 
^-^ An xDD honyest one, UwU I warrant, who OwO desewv'd 
^w^ So ^-^ wong :3 a xDD bweeding >_< as :33 his ^-^ white ^w^ beawd ^-^ came ^.^ to, 
^w^ In xDD doing ÚwÚ this for's country. Athwart x3 the ^w^ wanye 
^-^ He, with >w< two ÚwÚ stwipwings- wads ^.^ mowe ^.^ wike to >w< wun 
uWu The countwy UwU base than to :3 commit xDD such slaughter; 
With faces ;;w;; fit fow masks, ow rather fairer 
Than UwU those fow pwesewvation xDD cas'd ow uWu shame- 
Made ÚwÚ good x3 the passage, cried to UwU those :3 that ^w^ fwed 
UwU 'Ouw ^w^ Bwitain's hawts ^-^ die flying, nyot UwU ouw ^.^ men. 
;;w;; To >w< dawknyess :33 fweet >w< souws :3 that fwy backwards! ;;w;; Stand; 
:33 Ow ^.^ we OwO awe Romans ÚwÚ and xDD wiww UwU give xDD you :3 that, 
Wike xDD beasts, which xDD you UwU shun UwU beastwy, ÚwÚ and OwO may :3 save 
OwO But to wook back uWu in fwown. >_> Stand, >w< stand!' ;;w;; These >_< thwee, 
Thwee thousand confident, uWu in ;;w;; act >_< as ÚwÚ many- 
For >w< thwee UwU pewfowmews OwO awe x3 the file when aww 
uWu The xDD west UwU do >_< nyothing- with ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ 'Stand, >w< stand!' 
;;w;; Accommodated ^.^ by x3 the pwace, ^.^ mowe OwO chawming 
With uWu theiw UwU own nobleness, which couwd uWu have >_> tuwn'd 
^-^ A >_> distaff to :3 a lance, :3 giwded pawe looks, 
Pawt UwU shame, ÚwÚ pawt ^w^ spiwit >_< wenyew'd; :3 that x3 some >_> tuwn'd x3 cowawd 
OwO But ^.^ by x3 exampwe- >_< O, :3 a x3 sin uWu in >w< waw 
>_< Damn'd uWu in x3 the xDD fiwst beginnyews!- ^w^ gan to wook 
uWu The uWu way :3 that ;;w;; they uWu did ÚwÚ and to >w< gwin ^.^ wike wions 
>_> Upon x3 the >_< pikes ^.^ o' x3 th' hunters. UwU Then began 
^-^ A ÚwÚ stop :33 i' x3 th' :3 chasew, :3 a retire; :3 anyon 
^-^ A >_> wout, :3 confusion :3 thick. Fowthwith ;;w;; they fly, 
:3 Chickens, x3 the uWu way which ;;w;; they >_> stoop'd eagles; swaves, 
uWu The strides ;;w;; they >w< victows ÚwÚ made; ÚwÚ and nyow UwU ouw x3 cowawds, 
Wike fragments uWu in x3 hawd ^w^ voyages, ÚwÚ became 
uWu The >w< wife ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ nyeed. >_> Having >_> found x3 the x3 back-doow open 
Of x3 the ^-^ unguawded hearts, >w< heavens, >w< how ;;w;; they x3 wound! 
;;w;; Some :3 swain x3 befowe, x3 some ÚwÚ dying, x3 some uWu theiw ^w^ fwiends 
OwO O'ewbownye :33 i' x3 th' xDD fowmew xDD wave. uWu Ten UwU chas'd ^.^ by one 
^w^ Awe nyow >_< each one x3 the swaughtewman of ÚwÚ twenty. 
>w< Those :3 that ^.^ wouwd ^-^ die ow ere :3 wesist OwO awe grown 
uWu The >w< mowtaw uWu bugs ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> fiewd. 
WOWD. This UwU was ;;w;; stwange uWu chance: 
^-^ A nyawwow xDD wanye, >w< an ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and >w< two ;;w;; boys. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. Nyay, UwU do nyot wonder uWu at uWu it; xDD you OwO awe UwU made 
Rather to wonder uWu at x3 the ^.^ things xDD you hear 
Than to ^.^ wowk ÚwÚ any. Will xDD you ^-^ whyme x3 upon't, 
xDD And uWu vent >w< it fow :3 a ^.^ mock'wy? :3 Hewe >_> is onye: 
'Two boys, >w< an ;;w;; owd x3 man x3 (twice :3 a boy), :3 a xDD wanye, 
>_< Pwesewv'd x3 the xDD Bwitons, UwU was x3 the ÚwÚ Womans' ;;w;; banye.' 
WOWD. Nyay, be nyot ;;w;; angwy, sir. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. 'Lack, to >_> what >w< end? 
Who x3 dawes nyot stand :33 his foe I'll be :33 his fwiend; 
For >_> if he'ww UwU do >_< as ^.^ he >_> is UwU made to UwU do, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow he'ww quickly fwy x3 my ÚwÚ fwiendship UwU too. 
>_> You uWu have put ;;w;; me x3 into >_> whyme. 
WOWD. Farewell; ÚwÚ you'we >w< angwy. uWu Exit 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU Stiww xDD going? This >_> is :3 a ^.^ wowd! x3 O x3 nyobwe ^-^ misewy, 
;;w;; To be :33 i' x3 th' field ÚwÚ and ^w^ ask x3 'What news?' of me! 
OwO To-day >w< how UwU many ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU given uWu theiw honyouws 
;;w;; To uWu have >w< sav'd uWu theiw ^-^ cawcasses! >_> took OwO heew to ;;w;; do't, 
xDD And yet >w< died ;;w;; too! I, uWu in >_< minye UwU own woe charm'd, 
Could nyot find :33 death :3 whewe UwU I uWu did hear ^.^ him gwoan, 
x3 Nyow x3 feew ^.^ him :3 whewe ^.^ he stwuck. uWu Being >w< an ugwy monster, 
'Tis ;;w;; stwange ^.^ he OwO hides ^.^ him uWu in >w< fwesh cups, soft :3 beds, 
ÚwÚ Sweet words; ow hath ^-^ moe ministers than ^.^ we 
:33 That dwaw :33 his >_> knyives :33 i' x3 th' waw. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww find him; 
For ^.^ being nyow :3 a >_> favouwew to x3 the Briton, 
No ^.^ mowe :3 a Briton, UwU I uWu have ^.^ wesum'd again 
uWu The ÚwÚ pawt UwU I ^-^ came ^.^ in. Fight UwU I xDD wiww nyo >_> mowe, 
OwO But yield ;;w;; me to x3 the >_> vewiest >_> hind :3 that UwU shaww 
Once :33 touch x3 my shoulder. UwU Gweat x3 the >_> swaughtew >_> is 
:3 Hewe UwU made ^.^ by x3 th' Roman; great x3 the answew be 
^.^ Bwitons ^w^ must >_< take. For uWu me, x3 my >_> wansom's ÚwÚ death; 
On xDD eithew x3 side UwU I come to spend x3 my :33 bweath, 
>_< Which :3 nyeithew OwO hewe I'll >_< keep nor UwU beaw OwO again, 
OwO But >w< end >w< it ^.^ by x3 some means fow ^-^ Imogen. 

Entew >w< two ;;w;; BWITISH uWu CAPTAINS ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

uWu FIWST CAPTAIN. UwU Gweat Jupiter be >_< pwais'd! ^.^ Wucius >_> is >_< taken. 
'Tis xDD thought x3 the ;;w;; owd x3 man ÚwÚ and :33 his xDD sons :3 wewe angels. 
^w^ SECOND CAPTAIN. >_> Thewe UwU was :3 a :3 fouwth ^w^ man, uWu in :3 a siwwy habit, 
:33 That uWu gave x3 th' uWu affwont with OwO them. 
uWu FIWST CAPTAIN. ^w^ So UwU 'tis UwU wepowted; 
OwO But >_< nyonye of x3 'em ^.^ can be uWu found. :3 Stand! OwO who's OwO thewe? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^-^ A Woman, 
Who xDD had nyot nyow :33 been ;;w;; dwooping OwO hewe >_> if seconds 
xDD Had x3 answew'd ^.^ him. 
^w^ SECOND CAPTAIN. Way ^.^ hands on him; :3 a dog! 
^-^ A >_< weg of ÚwÚ Wome UwU shaww nyot ^-^ wetuwn to tell 
>_> What >_< cwows uWu have >w< peck'd them hewe. >w< He brags :33 his sewvice, 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe of note. Bring ^.^ him to x3 th' ;;w;; King. 

Entew CYMBELINE, xDD BEWAWIUS, ^.^ GUIDEWIUS, :3 AWVIWAGUS, OwO PISANyIO, ÚwÚ and Roman 
UwU captives. uWu The uWu CAPTAINS xDD pwesent POSTHUMUS to CYMBELINE, who xDD dewivews 
^.^ him uvw to :3 a gaoler. Exeunt omnes 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
;;w;; Bwitain. ^-^ A :3 pwison 

Entew POSTHUMUS ÚwÚ and >w< two GAOWEWS 

uWu FIWST GAOLER. >_> You UwU shaww nyot nyow be stol'n, xDD you uWu have locks ;;w;; upon uWu you; 
^w^ So uWu gwaze >_< as xDD you find UwU pastuwe. 
^w^ SECOND GAOLER. Ay, ow :3 a :33 stomach. Exeunt GAOWEWS 
:3 POSTHUMUS. :3 Most ;;w;; wewcome, ÚwÚ bondage! fow xDD thou awt :3 a :3 way, 
UwU I >_< think, to OwO wibewty. ÚwÚ Yet ^w^ am UwU I xDD bettew 
Than one ^w^ that's >w< sick ^.^ o' x3 th' OwO gout, xDD since ^.^ he xDD had rather 
Groan UwU so uWu in ;;w;; pewpetuity than be ^w^ cuw'd 
^-^ By x3 th' >_< suwe ^.^ physician UwU death, who >_> is x3 the OwO key 
;;w;; T' >_> unbaw these locks. OwO My OwO conscience, xDD thou awt >w< fettew'd 
uWu Mowe than x3 my ^.^ shanks ÚwÚ and wrists; xDD you ÚwÚ good uWu gods, UwU give ;;w;; me 
uWu The penitent UwU instwument to pick :3 that bolt, 
Then, fwee fow evew! ^-^ Is't enough UwU I ^w^ am >_> sowwy? 
^w^ So x3 chiwdwen :33 tempowaw uWu fathews UwU do appease; 
x3 Gods OwO awe ^.^ mowe full of mercy. :3 Must UwU I repent, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU do >w< it xDD bettew than uWu in xDD gyves, 
uWu Desiw'd ^.^ mowe than >w< constwain'd. ;;w;; To satisfy, 
;;w;; If of x3 my OwO fweedom UwU 'tis x3 the :33 main >_> pawt, OwO take 
No UwU stwictew render of ;;w;; me than x3 my all. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO awe ^.^ mowe ^w^ cwement than ^-^ viwe men, 
Who of uWu theiw xDD bwoken >w< debtows OwO take :3 a OwO thiwd, 
^-^ A ;;w;; sixth, :3 a tenth, wetting them x3 thwive again 
On uWu theiw abatement; ^w^ that's nyot x3 my desiwe. 
For ^-^ Imogen's uWu deaw >w< wife OwO take minye; ÚwÚ and ^w^ though 
'Tis nyot UwU so deaw, yet UwU 'tis :3 a :33 wife; xDD you :3 coin'd :3 it. 
^-^ 'Tween x3 man ÚwÚ and x3 man ;;w;; they >w< weigh nyot every x3 stamp; 
;;w;; Though wight, OwO take uWu pieces fow x3 the figure's >_< sake; 
>_> You rather >_> minye, ^.^ being x3 youws. xDD And >_> so, great pow'rs, 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww OwO take ÚwÚ this ^.^ audit, OwO take ÚwÚ this :3 wife, 
xDD And cancew these UwU cowd xDD bonds. x3 O Imogen! 
I'll speak to uWu thee uWu in x3 siwence. >_< [Sweeps] 

Solemn >_> music. OwO Entew, >_< as uWu in >w< an OwO appawition, x3 SICIWIUS 
x3 WEONyATUS, >w< fathew to UwU POSTHUMUS, >w< an ;;w;; owd x3 man uWu attiwed 
^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ wawwiow; weading uWu in :33 his uWu hand >w< an UwU ancient 
^w^ matwon, :33 his x3 WIFE, ÚwÚ and mothew to UwU POSTHUMUS, with 
uWu music >w< befowe OwO them. Then, ÚwÚ aftew othew ^.^ music, xDD fowwows 
x3 the >w< two xDD young ÚwÚ WEONyATI, bwothews to UwU POSTHUMUS, 
with ;;w;; wounds, >_< as ;;w;; they >w< died uWu in x3 the waws. 
^-^ They xDD ciwcwe POSTHUMUS ;;w;; wound >_< as ^.^ he wies x3 sweeping 

SICILIUS. No >_> mowe, xDD thou :33 thundew-mastew, x3 show 
x3 Thy x3 spite on >w< mowtaw x3 fwies. 
With uWu Maws faww ^.^ out, with >_> Junyo :33 chide, 
:33 That >w< thy adulteries 
Wates ÚwÚ and revenges. 
>_< Hath x3 my poor ;;w;; boy donye ^.^ aught >_> but weww, 
>_< Whose OwO face UwU I >_< nyevew ^.^ saw? 
UwU I >w< died whiwst uWu in x3 the womb ^.^ he OwO stay'd 
Attending ;;w;; nyatuwe's UwU waw; 
>_< Whose >w< fathew >w< then, >_< as ;;w;; men wepowt 
^.^ Thou orphans' >w< fathew awt, 
^.^ Thou shouwdst uWu have ^-^ been, ÚwÚ and shielded ^.^ him 
Fwom ÚwÚ this :33 eawth-vexing >_< smawt. 

>_< MOTHEW. Lucina OwO went nyot ;;w;; me her ^w^ aid, 
OwO But >_> took ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my throes, 
:33 That from ;;w;; me UwU was >_< Posthumus ^.^ wipp'd, 
>_< Came :3 cwying ^w^ 'mongst :33 his ;;w;; foes, 
^-^ A ^.^ thing of >_> pity. 

SICILIUS. UwU Gweat ÚwÚ Nyatuwe ^.^ wike :33 his ancestry 
Mouwded x3 the ^w^ stuff UwU so >w< faiw 
:33 That ^.^ he OwO desewv'd x3 the praise ^.^ o' x3 th' wowwd 
;;w;; As great Siciwius' ÚwÚ heiw. 

uWu FIWST UwU BWOTHEW. x3 When >_> once ^.^ he UwU was uWu matuwe fow ^w^ man, 
^w^ In uWu Bwitain :3 whewe UwU was ^.^ he 
:33 That couwd stand x3 up :33 his x3 pawawwew, 
:33 Ow :33 fwuitfuw :33 object be 
^w^ In ^w^ eye of x3 Imogen, :3 that best 
Could >w< deem :33 his ^.^ dignyity? 

>_< MOTHEW. With ^.^ mawwiage ^-^ whewefowe UwU was ^.^ he ^w^ mock'd, 
;;w;; To be >w< exiw'd ÚwÚ and :33 thwown 
Fwom ^.^ Weonyati uWu seat ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cast 
Fwom her :33 his deawest one, 
ÚwÚ Sweet ^.^ Imogen? 

SICILIUS. Why uWu did xDD you suffew uWu Iachimo, 
Swight ^.^ thing of Italy, 
;;w;; To ^w^ taint :33 his >w< nyobwew >_< heawt ÚwÚ and :3 bwain 
With >_> nyeedwess jeawousy, 
xDD And to :33 become x3 the uWu geck ÚwÚ and ^w^ scown 
UwU O' x3 th' ;;w;; othew's viwwainy? 

^w^ SECOND UwU BWOTHEW. For ÚwÚ this from stiller seats ^.^ we came, 
Our parents ÚwÚ and >_> us twain, 
^.^ That, ^.^ stwiking uWu in UwU ouw >_> countwy's >_< cause, 
Feww bravely ÚwÚ and :3 wewe x3 swain, 
Our uWu feawty ÚwÚ and uWu Tenyantius' >w< wight 
With honour to x3 maintain. 

uWu FIWST UwU BWOTHEW. Wike ;;w;; hawdiment >_< Posthumus hath 
;;w;; To :33 Cymbewinye perform'd. 
Then, Jupiter, xDD thou x3 king of uWu gods, 
Why x3 hast xDD thou OwO thus :33 adjouwn'd 
uWu The uWu gwaces fow :33 his xDD mewits >_> due, 
uWu Being aww to dowouws tuwn'd? 

SICILIUS. x3 Thy >_> cwystaw window ope; wook out; 
No longer ÚwÚ exewcise 
>_> Upon :3 a uWu vawiant race >w< thy UwU hawsh 
xDD And x3 potent ^-^ injuwies. 

>_< MOTHEW. ÚwÚ Since, Jupiter, UwU ouw >_< son >_> is UwU good, 
^.^ Take x3 off :33 his :33 misewies. 

SICILIUS. >_< Peep ^w^ thwough >w< thy OwO mawbwe mansion. Help! 
:33 Ow ^.^ we poor ghosts xDD wiww cwy 
;;w;; To x3 th' >_< shinying ^.^ synyod of x3 the xDD west 
^w^ Against >w< thy deity. 

BROTHERS. Hewp, Jupiter! ow ^.^ we ^.^ appeaw, 
xDD And from >w< thy justice fwy. 

:33 JUPITEW ^-^ descends-in >_> thundew ÚwÚ and lightning, :3 sitting 
;;w;; upon >w< an :33 eagwe. >w< He ^w^ thwows :3 a thunderbolt. uWu The >w< GHOSTS 
faww on uWu theiw knees 

JUPITEW. No >_> mowe, xDD you petty ;;w;; spiwits of wegion low, 
^-^ Offend UwU ouw OwO heawing; UwU hush! How dawe xDD you ghosts 
^w^ Accuse x3 the Thunderer x3 whose bolt, xDD you knyow, 
^-^ Sky-pwanted, battews aww ^w^ webewwing ^.^ coasts? 
OwO Poow ^-^ shadows of Ewysium, >w< hence ÚwÚ and xDD west 
>_> Upon x3 youw never-withering uWu banks of OwO fwow'ws. 
^w^ Be nyot with >w< mowtaw accidents ^-^ oppwest: 
No :3 cawe of >_> youws >w< it is; xDD you ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis >_> ouws. 
;;w;; Whom best UwU I wuv UwU I OwO cwoss; to >_< make x3 my :3 gift, 
uWu The ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ deway'd, delighted. ^w^ Be content; 
uWu Youw low-laid >_< son UwU ouw >w< godhead xDD wiww uplift; 
ÚwÚ His UwU comfowts thwive, :33 his uWu twiaws weww OwO awe :33 spent. 
Our *twerks* Joviaw :33 staw x3 weign'd uWu at :33 his birth, ÚwÚ and uWu in 
Our OwO tempwe UwU was ^.^ he mawwied. ^-^ Wise ÚwÚ and >_< fade! 
>w< He UwU shaww be ;;w;; wowd of xDD Wady x3 Imogen, 
xDD And uWu happiew much ^.^ by :33 his >_> affwiction >_> made. 
This tabwet uWu way ;;w;; upon :33 his UwU bweast, wherein 
Our :3 pweasuwe :33 his full :3 fowtunye xDD doth ^-^ confinye; 
xDD And >_> so, :3 away; nyo ^-^ fawthew with x3 youw OwO din 
Express impatience, xDD west xDD you stir x3 up ^w^ minye. 
Mount, :33 eagwe, to x3 my ^w^ pawace crystalline. OwO [Ascends] 
SICILIUS. >w< He ^-^ came uWu in thundew; :33 his ^w^ cewestiaw UwU bweath 
Was sulpherous to smell; x3 the >w< howy >_> eagwe 
Stoop'd >_< as to :33 foot >_> us. ÚwÚ His ascension >_> is 
uWu Mowe x3 sweet than UwU ouw bwest ^-^ fiewds. ÚwÚ His royal biwd 
>_> Pwunyes x3 the :3 immowtaw *hugs tightly* wing, ÚwÚ and cwoys :33 his OwO beak, 
;;w;; As when :33 his god >_> is pweas'd. 
uWu AWW. >_< Thanks, Jupiter! 
SICILIUS. uWu The OwO mawbwe :3 pavement UwU cwoses, ^.^ he >_> is entew'd 
ÚwÚ His OwO wadiant uWu woof. >_> Away! x3 and, to be ^.^ bwest, 
Let >_> us with :3 cawe x3 pewfowm :33 his great behest. x3 [GHOSTS vanish] 

:3 POSTHUMUS. >w< [Waking] >_> Sweep, xDD thou >_> has :33 been :3 a >_> gwandsiwe ÚwÚ and ^.^ begot 
^-^ A >w< fathew to OwO me; ÚwÚ and xDD thou x3 hast created 
^-^ A mothew ÚwÚ and >w< two brothers. But, x3 O ^.^ scown, 
Gonye! ^-^ They OwO went >w< hence UwU so >w< soon >_< as ;;w;; they :3 wewe born. 
xDD And UwU so UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ awake. OwO Poow uWu wwetches, :3 that :3 depend 
On :33 gweatnyess' favour, dweam >_< as UwU I uWu have donye; 
ÚwÚ Wake ÚwÚ and find OwO nyothing. But, :3 awas, UwU I swewve; 
xDD Many dweam nyot to ^w^ find, :3 nyeithew >w< desewve, 
xDD And yet OwO awe uWu steep'd uWu in favours; UwU so ^w^ am I, 
:33 That uWu have ÚwÚ this golden chance, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow nyot :33 why. 
>_> What ^-^ faiwies >_> haunt ÚwÚ this ground? ^-^ A UwU book? x3 O OwO wawe one! 
^w^ Be >_> nyot, >_< as >_> is UwU ouw fangwed ^w^ wowwd, :3 a ^.^ gawment 
^-^ Nyobwew than :3 that >w< it cuvws. Let >w< thy UwU effects 
^w^ So ;;w;; fowwow to be UwU most ^-^ unwike UwU ouw courtiers, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ good >_< as pwomise. 

[Weads] ^-^ 'When >_< as :3 a ;;w;; wion's whewp UwU shaww, to >_< himsewf uWu unknyown, 
^-^ without UwU seeking ^w^ find, ÚwÚ and be x3 embwac'd ^.^ by :3 a ^.^ piece of xDD tendew air; 
ÚwÚ and when from :3 a ÚwÚ statewy cedar UwU shaww be OwO wopp'd ^-^ bwanches ^w^ which, 
^.^ being >_< dead UwU many years, UwU shaww ÚwÚ aftew uWu wevive, be OwO jointed to x3 the ;;w;; owd 
xDD stock, ÚwÚ and xDD fweshwy gwow; xDD then UwU shaww >_< Posthumus >w< end :33 his miseries, 
uWu Bwitain be ;;w;; fowtunyate ÚwÚ and :33 fwouwish uWu in uWu peace ÚwÚ and :33 pwenty.' 

'Tis still :3 a x3 dweam, ow >_> ewse xDD such ^w^ stuff >_< as OwO madmen 
Tongue, ÚwÚ and :3 bwain x3 nyot; xDD eithew both ow uWu nyothing, 
:33 Ow senseless ^-^ speaking, ow :3 a speaking xDD such 
;;w;; As sense ;;w;; cannyot UwU untie. ^w^ Be >_> what >w< it ;;w;; is, 
uWu The uWu action of x3 my >w< wife >_> is ^.^ wike :33 it, which 
I'll uWu keep, >_> if >_> but fow :33 sympathy. 

^.^ We-entew GAOLER 

GAOLER. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, OwO awe xDD you ready fow UwU death? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. Over-roasted wathew; ready ^-^ wong ago. 
GAOLER. x3 Hanging >_> is x3 the word, siw; >_> if xDD you be ready fow :3 that, xDD you OwO awe 
weww cook'd. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. So, >_> if UwU I ^-^ pwuv :3 a ÚwÚ good repast to x3 the ÚwÚ spectatows, x3 the ^w^ dish 
>w< pays x3 the :3 shot. 
GAOLER. ^-^ A x3 heavy reckoning fow UwU you, sir. OwO But x3 the uWu comfowt ;;w;; is, xDD you 
UwU shaww be ^w^ cawwed to nyo ^.^ mowe :33 payments, feaw nyo ^.^ mowe ^.^ tavewn ÚwÚ biwws, 
which OwO awe often x3 the >_> sadnyess of parting, >_< as x3 the :33 pwocuwing of mirth. 
>_> You come uWu in ÚwÚ faint fow ^.^ want of meat, ÚwÚ depawt xDD weewing with ^w^ too much 
;;w;; dwink; sowwy :3 that xDD you uWu have paid ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, ÚwÚ and sowwy :3 that xDD you OwO awe 
paid ^w^ too >_> much; >_< puwse ÚwÚ and :3 bwain both >w< empty; x3 the :3 bwain x3 the heaview 
fow ^.^ being ^w^ too wight, x3 the >_< puwse ^w^ too wight, ^.^ being drawn of 
heaviness. >_< O, of ÚwÚ this contradiction xDD you UwU shaww nyow be :33 quit. >_< O, x3 the 
xDD chawity of :3 a ÚwÚ penny cord! ^.^ It uWu sums x3 up thousands uWu in :3 a x3 twice. >_> You 
uWu have nyo true :3 debitow ÚwÚ and creditor >_> but uWu it; of UwU what's past, ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and 
to come, x3 the ^-^ dischawge. uWu Youw neck, ^w^ siw, >_> is pen, ^-^ book, ÚwÚ and 
counters; UwU so x3 the acquittance :3 fowwows. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU I ^w^ am mewwiew to ^-^ die than xDD thou awt to wive. 
GAOLER. >w< Indeed, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he :3 that sweeps feews nyot x3 the x3 toothache. OwO But :3 a 
x3 man :3 that :3 wewe to :33 sweep x3 youw sweep, ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; hangman to OwO hewp ^.^ him to 
^.^ bed, UwU I think ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd change pwaces with :33 his >w< officew; fow wook 
UwU you, ^w^ siw, xDD you ^.^ knyow nyot which uWu way xDD you UwU shaww ÚwÚ go. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. Yes ÚwÚ indeed UwU do I, UwU fewwow. 
GAOLER. uWu Youw :33 death >_> has eyes in's head, :33 then; UwU I uWu have nyot :3 seen ^.^ him UwU so 
^.^ pictuw'd. >_> You ^w^ must xDD eithew be ^-^ diwected ^.^ by x3 some :3 that OwO take ;;w;; upon them 
to knyow, ow to OwO take ;;w;; upon >_> youwsewf :3 that which UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you UwU do nyot 
knyow, ow x3 jump x3 the >w< aftew-inquiwy on x3 youw UwU own ÚwÚ pewiw. xDD And >w< how xDD you 
UwU shaww ^w^ speed uWu in x3 youw journey's ^w^ end, UwU I think you'ww >_< nyevew ^-^ wetuwn to 
tell onye. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, fewwow, there OwO awe >_< nyonye ^.^ want eyes to direct 
them x3 the uWu way UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ going, >_> but xDD such >_< as >_> wink ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot use OwO them. 
GAOLER. >_> What >w< an :3 infinyite ÚwÚ mock >_> is uWu this, :3 that :3 a x3 man >_> shouwd uWu have x3 the 
best use of eyes to >_> see x3 the uWu way of :3 bwindnyess! UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe >w< hanging's 
x3 the uWu way of winking. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. Knock x3 off :33 his ;;w;; manyacwes; ;;w;; bwing x3 youw ÚwÚ pwisonyew to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^.^ Thou x3 bwing'st ÚwÚ good >_> nyews: UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ caww'd to be UwU made >w< fwee. 
GAOLER. I'll be :33 hang'd UwU then. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. ^.^ Thou shalt be xDD then ÚwÚ fweew than :3 a ^w^ gaowew; nyo bolts fow x3 the 
uWu dead. Exeunt POSTHUMUS ÚwÚ and MESSENGEW 
GAOLER. OwO Unwess :3 a x3 man ^.^ wouwd marry :3 a >_< gawwows ÚwÚ and x3 beget xDD young uWu gibbets, 
UwU I >_< nyevew saw one UwU so >_> pwonye. Yet, on x3 my OwO conscience, there OwO awe verier 
knyaves ^.^ desiwe to x3 wive, fow aww ^.^ he be :3 a Roman; ÚwÚ and there be x3 some 
of them ^w^ too :3 that ^-^ die OwO against uWu theiw OwO wiwws; UwU so >_> shouwd I, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe 
onye. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ we :3 wewe aww of one UwU mind, ÚwÚ and one ^-^ mind UwU good. >_< O, there 
:3 wewe ^w^ desowation of ÚwÚ gaowews ÚwÚ and x3 gawwowses! UwU I speak OwO against x3 my 
xDD pwesent >w< pwofit, >_> but x3 my ÚwÚ wish hath :3 a pwefewment ÚwÚ in't. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE V. 
;;w;; Bwitain. CYMBEWINyE'S ^w^ tent 

Entew CYMBELINE, xDD BEWAWIUS, ^.^ GUIDEWIUS, :3 AWVIWAGUS, OwO PISANyIO, LORDS, 
^w^ OFFICEWS, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ;;w;; Stand ^.^ by x3 my side, xDD you ÚwÚ whom x3 the gods uWu have UwU made 
Preservers of x3 my thwonye. ;;w;; Woe >_> is x3 my >_< heawt 
:33 That x3 the poor soldier :3 that UwU so :33 wichwy :33 fought, 
>_< Whose rags ;;w;; sham'd :3 giwded awms, x3 whose nyaked breast 
;;w;; Stepp'd >w< befowe tawges of uWu pwoof, ;;w;; cannyot be uWu found. 
>w< He UwU shaww be ^w^ happy :3 that ^.^ can find :3 him, >_> if 
Our xDD gwace ^.^ can >_< make ^.^ him :3 so. 
BELARIUS. UwU I >_< nyevew saw 
>w< Such x3 nyobwe UwU fuwy uWu in UwU so poor :3 a >_> thing; 
>w< Such >_< pwecious >_< deeds uWu in one :3 that pwomis'd >_< nyought 
OwO But :33 beggawy ÚwÚ and poor OwO wooks. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. No UwU tidings of him? 
PISANIO. >w< He hath :33 been :33 seawch'd ^-^ among x3 the >_< dead ÚwÚ and >w< wiving, 
OwO But nyo trace of ^.^ him. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ;;w;; To x3 my gwief, UwU I ^w^ am 
uWu The heir of :33 his :33 wewawd; :33 [To xDD BEWAWIUS, ^.^ GUIDEWIUS, ÚwÚ and AWVIWAGUS] 
which UwU I xDD wiww >_< add 
;;w;; To UwU you, x3 the >w< wivew, uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and :3 bwain, of ^-^ Bwitain, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ whom UwU I gwant ^.^ she ^.^ wives. 'Tis nyow x3 the time 
;;w;; To ^w^ ask of >_> whence xDD you x3 awe. Report :3 it. 
BELARIUS. UwU Siw, 
^w^ In Cambria OwO awe ^.^ we born, ÚwÚ and UwU gentwemen; 
>w< Fuwthew to boast :3 wewe :3 nyeithew true nor OwO modest, 
OwO Unwess UwU I >_< add ^.^ we OwO awe honest. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Bow x3 youw knyees. 
Awise x3 my :3 knyights ^.^ o' x3 th' uWu battwe; UwU I >w< cweate xDD you 
OwO Companyions to UwU ouw pewson, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ;;w;; fit xDD you 
With >_> dignyities >_< becoming x3 youw :33 estates. 

Entew CORNELIUS ÚwÚ and :3 WADIES 

>_> Thewe's business uWu in these UwU faces. Why UwU so sadwy 
^-^ Gweet xDD you UwU ouw victory? >_> You wook ^.^ wike uWu Womans, 
xDD And nyot ^.^ o' x3 th' court of ;;w;; Bwitain. 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. >w< Haiw, great King! 
;;w;; To :3 souw x3 youw happinyess UwU I ^w^ must wepowt 
uWu The xDD Queen >_> is uWu dead. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Who xDD wowse than :3 a ^.^ physician 
Wouwd ÚwÚ this wepowt ;;w;; become? OwO But UwU I OwO considew 
^-^ By x3 med'cinye'wife OwO may be prolong'd, yet :33 death 
Will x3 seize x3 the x3 doctow UwU too. How >_< ended >_< she? 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. With howwow, madly ÚwÚ dying, ^.^ wike her :33 wife; 
>_< Which, ^.^ being UwU cwuew to x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ^-^ concwuded 
:3 Most UwU cwuew to hewsewf. >_> What ^.^ she >_> confess'd 
UwU I xDD wiww wepowt, UwU so uWu pwease uWu you; these her x3 women 
UwU Can uWu twip ;;w;; me >_> if UwU I >w< eww, who with wet >_> cheeks 
^.^ Wewe xDD pwesent when ^.^ she finish'd. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. UwU Pwithee :3 say. 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. ^.^ Fiwst, ^.^ she >_> confess'd ^.^ she >_< nyevew :3 wov'd uWu you; >w< onwy 
UwU Affected :33 gweatnyess ^w^ got ^.^ by UwU you, nyot uWu you; 
uWu Mawwied x3 youw OwO woyawty, UwU was >w< wife to x3 youw pwace; 
Abhorr'd x3 youw person. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. :33 She awonye UwU knyew >_< this; 
xDD And >_> but ^.^ she ^-^ spoke >w< it ÚwÚ dying, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot 
:3 Bewieve her lips uWu in >w< openying :3 it. ;;w;; Pwoceed. 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. uWu Youw ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ she bore uWu in uWu hand to wuv 
With xDD such >w< integwity, ^.^ she uWu did x3 confess 
Was >_< as :3 a scorpion to her sight; x3 whose :3 wife, 
OwO But :3 that her :33 fwight prevented :33 it, ^.^ she xDD had 
uWu Ta'en x3 off ^.^ by poison. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. x3 O UwU most xDD dewicate ^w^ fiend! 
Who :3 is't ^.^ can ^w^ wead :3 a x3 woman? Is there UwU mowe? 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. :33 Mowe, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and x3 wowse. :33 She uWu did x3 confess ^.^ she xDD had 
For xDD you :3 a >w< mowtaw >_> minyewaw, ^w^ which, ^.^ being took, 
Should ^.^ by x3 the minyute >w< feed on :3 wife, ÚwÚ and wing'wing, 
^-^ By :33 inches uWu waste OwO you. ^w^ In which time ^.^ she ;;w;; puwpos'd, 
^-^ By >_< watching, weeping, ;;w;; tendance, x3 kissing, to 
O'ercome xDD you with her show; ÚwÚ and uWu in time, 
x3 When ^.^ she xDD had :3 fitted xDD you with her >w< cwaft, to ^.^ wowk 
:3 Hew >_< son x3 into x3 th' ÚwÚ adoption of x3 the >_< cwown; 
OwO But :33 faiwing of her >w< end ^.^ by :33 his ;;w;; stwange >_> absence, 
^w^ Gwew xDD shamewess-despewate, x3 open'd, uWu in ;;w;; despite 
Of heaven ÚwÚ and men, her x3 puwposes, ^w^ wepented 
uWu The ;;w;; eviws ^.^ she ÚwÚ hatch'd :3 wewe nyot effected; >_> so, 
x3 Despaiwing, ÚwÚ died. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^-^ Heawd xDD you aww uWu this, her :3 women? 
WADY. We ^-^ did, UwU so uWu pwease x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Mine eyes 
^.^ Wewe nyot uWu in ^w^ fauwt, fow ^.^ she UwU was beautiful; 
Mine ;;w;; eaws, :3 that heard her fwattewy; nor x3 my >_< heawt 
:33 That xDD thought her ^.^ wike her >_< seeming. ^.^ It xDD had :33 been ^.^ vicious 
;;w;; To uWu have x3 mistwusted >w< hew; ^w^ yet, x3 O x3 my daughter! 
:33 That >w< it UwU was >w< fowwy uWu in ;;w;; me xDD thou uWu mayst say, 
xDD And ^-^ pwuv >w< it uWu in >w< thy feeling. uWu Heaven mend :33 aww! 

Entew LUCIUS, ^w^ IACHIMO, x3 the ^w^ SOOTHSAYEW, ÚwÚ and othew 
Roman pwisonyews, ^-^ guawded; POSTHUMUS behind, ÚwÚ and UwU IMOGEN 

^.^ Thou UwU com'st >_> nyot, Caius, nyow fow >_< twibute; :3 that 
uWu The ^.^ Bwitons uWu have raz'd ^.^ out, ^w^ though with x3 the ^-^ woss 
Of UwU many :3 a bold one, x3 whose >_< kinsmen uWu have UwU made >_> suit 
:33 That uWu theiw ÚwÚ good >w< souws OwO may be >w< appeas'd with >_> swaughtew 
Of xDD you uWu theiw :33 captives, which :3 ouwsewf uWu have gwanted; 
^w^ So think of x3 youw estate. 
WUCIUS. Consider, ^w^ siw, x3 the chance of waw. uWu The day 
Was >_> youws ^.^ by accident; xDD had >w< it >_> gonye with us, 
We >_> shouwd >_> nyot, when x3 the :3 bwood UwU was coow, uWu have threaten'd 
Our OwO pwisonyews with x3 the ^-^ swowd. OwO But xDD since x3 the gods 
Will uWu have >w< it thus, :3 that >_< nyothing >_> but UwU ouw ;;w;; wives 
^-^ May be ^w^ caww'd ransom, wet >w< it x3 come. :33 Sufficeth 
^-^ A Roman with :3 a Roman's >_< heawt ^.^ can :33 suffew. 
^.^ Augustus ;;w;; wives to think ^-^ on't; ÚwÚ and UwU so much 
For x3 my peculiar >w< cawe. This one ^.^ thing >w< onwy 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> entweat: x3 my ^-^ boy, :3 a Briton born, 
Let ^.^ him be wansom'd. xDD Nyevew >_< mastew xDD had 
^-^ A page UwU so ;;w;; kind, UwU so duteous, ^w^ diwigent, 
^w^ So xDD tendew uvw :33 his UwU occasions, ^-^ twue, 
^w^ So :33 feat, UwU so >_< nyuwse-wike; wet :33 his viwtue ^w^ join 
With x3 my ÚwÚ wequest, which I'll >_< make bold x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
UwU Cannyot >_< deny; ^.^ he hath donye nyo Briton x3 hawm 
;;w;; Though ^.^ he uWu have sewv'd :3 a Roman. :3 Save :3 him, ^w^ siw, 
xDD And ^-^ spawe nyo :3 bwood >_< beside. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. UwU I uWu have x3 suwewy :3 seen him; 
ÚwÚ His ^.^ favouw >_> is ^.^ famiwiaw to x3 me. :33 Boy, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast >_> wook'd >w< thysewf x3 into x3 my gwace, 
xDD And awt >_< minye own. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< why, ^-^ whewefowe 
;;w;; To >_> say 'Wive, UwU boy.' Nye'ew >_> thank >w< thy master. Live; 
xDD And ^w^ ask of :33 Cymbewinye >_> what >w< boon xDD thou wiwt, 
^.^ Fitting x3 my >_> bounty ÚwÚ and >w< thy state, I'll UwU give uWu it; 
Yea, ^w^ though xDD thou UwU do ;;w;; demand :3 a pwisonyew, 
uWu The uWu nyobwest :33 ta'en. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. 
WUCIUS. UwU I UwU do nyot bid uWu thee ÚwÚ beg x3 my :3 wife, ÚwÚ good lad, 
xDD And yet UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou wilt. 
UwU IMOGEN. :3 Nyo, no! xDD Awack, 
>_> Thewe's othew ^.^ wowk uWu in >w< hand. UwU I >_> see :3 a ^.^ thing 
Bitter to ;;w;; me >_< as ÚwÚ death; x3 youw :3 wife, ÚwÚ good ^.^ mastew, 
:3 Must shuffwe fow itself. 
WUCIUS. uWu The ;;w;; boy >_< disdains uWu me, 
>w< He >w< weaves uWu me, scorns x3 me. >_< Bwiefwy ^-^ die uWu theiw joys 
:33 That :33 pwace them on x3 the uWu twuth of giwws ÚwÚ and ;;w;; boys. 
Why >w< stands ^.^ he UwU so xDD pewpwex'd? 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. >_> What wouldst UwU thou, boy? 
UwU I wuv uWu thee ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and mowe; think ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe 
x3 What's best to xDD ask. Knyow'st ^.^ him xDD thou wook'st ^-^ on? ÚwÚ Speak, 
;;w;; Wiwt uWu have ^.^ him >_> wive? Is ^.^ he >w< thy :33 kin? >w< thy >w< fwiend? 
UwU IMOGEN. >w< He >_> is :3 a Woman, nyo ^.^ mowe ^-^ kin to ;;w;; me 
Than UwU I to x3 youw Highness; who, ^.^ being bown x3 youw ^.^ vassaw, 
^w^ Am ^-^ something >_> nyeawew. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ÚwÚ Whewefowe ey'st ^.^ him so? 
UwU IMOGEN. I'll tell UwU you, ^w^ siw, uWu in pwivate, >_> if xDD you uWu pwease 
;;w;; To UwU give ;;w;; me ;;w;; heawing. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Ay, with aww x3 my uWu heawt, 
xDD And xDD wend x3 my best attention. x3 What's >w< thy :3 nyame? 
UwU IMOGEN. Fidewe, sir. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^w^ Thou'wt x3 my ÚwÚ good youth, x3 my ^-^ page; 
I'll be >w< thy master. >_< Wawk with OwO me; speak x3 fweewy. 
x3 [CYMBEWINyE ÚwÚ and UwU IMOGEN convewse apart] 
BELARIUS. Is nyot ÚwÚ this ;;w;; boy xDD weviv'd from UwU death? 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. x3 Onye :33 sand anyothew 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ mowe :33 wesembwes- :3 that x3 sweet :3 wosy >_< wad 
Who >w< died ÚwÚ and UwU was ;;w;; Fidewe. >_> What think you? 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. uWu The same >_< dead ^.^ thing alive. 
BELARIUS. uWu Peace, peace! >_> see fuwthew. >w< He eyes >_> us x3 nyot; ^.^ fowbeaw. 
Cweatuwes OwO may be alike; were't xDD he, UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^-^ spoke to >_> us. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. OwO But ^.^ we saw ^.^ him uWu dead. 
BELARIUS. ^w^ Be siwent; >_> wet's >_> see fuwthew. 
PISANIO. :3 [Aside] ^.^ It >_> is x3 my ^w^ mistwess. 
Since ^.^ she >_> is >w< wiving, wet x3 the time >w< wun on 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ good ow bad. x3 [CYMBEWINyE ÚwÚ and UwU IMOGEN >_< advance] 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^.^ Come, stand xDD thou ^.^ by UwU ouw x3 side; 
^-^ Make >w< thy ;;w;; demand ^.^ awoud. :33 [To x3 IACHIMO] UwU Siw, :33 step xDD you forth; 
Give answew to ÚwÚ this ^-^ boy, ÚwÚ and UwU do >w< it freely, 
:3 Ow, ^.^ by UwU ouw :33 gweatnyess ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD gwace of :33 it, 
>_< Which >_> is UwU ouw honyouw, UwU bittew towtuwe UwU shaww 
Winnow x3 the uWu twuth from falsehood. ÚwÚ On, speak to ^.^ him. 
UwU IMOGEN. OwO My >w< boon >_> is :3 that ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman OwO may render 
Of ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he xDD had ÚwÚ this wing. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. :3 [Aside] x3 What's :3 that to him? 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. :33 That >_> diamond ;;w;; upon x3 youw finger, >_> say 
How ^-^ came >w< it x3 youws? 
IACHIMO. Thou'lt towtuwe ;;w;; me to OwO weave xDD unspoken :3 that 
>_< Which to be ^-^ spoke ^.^ wouwd towtuwe thee. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ÚwÚ How? me? 
IACHIMO. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to be constwain'd to :33 uttew :3 that 
>_< Which torments ;;w;; me to conceaw. ^-^ By xDD viwwainy 
UwU I ^w^ got ÚwÚ this wing; uWu 'twas ^.^ Weonyatus' ;;w;; jewew, 
;;w;; Whom xDD thou :33 didst ^w^ banyish; and- which ^.^ mowe OwO may UwU gwieve ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; As >w< it xDD doth me- :3 a >w< nyobwew ^w^ siw ^w^ nye'ew liv'd 
UwU 'Twixt sky ÚwÚ and :33 gwound. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou hear >_> mowe, x3 my xDD wowd? 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. All :3 that ^-^ bewongs to UwU this. 
IACHIMO. :33 That OwO pawagon, >w< thy ^w^ daughtew, 
For ÚwÚ whom x3 my >_< heawt ^.^ dwops :3 bwood ÚwÚ and x3 my UwU fawse ;;w;; spiwits 
ÚwÚ Quaiw to :3 wemembew- Give ;;w;; me weave, UwU I ^.^ faint. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. OwO My daughter? >_> What of OwO hew? Renew >w< thy >_> stwength; 
UwU I xDD had rather xDD thou shouwdst ^w^ wive OwO whiwe ÚwÚ nyatuwe xDD wiww 
Than ^-^ die ere UwU I hear more. Stwive, ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and >_< speak. 
IACHIMO. >_> Upon :3 a ÚwÚ time- xDD unhappy UwU was x3 the >w< cwock 
:33 That >w< stwuck x3 the houw!- UwU was uWu in ^w^ Wome- ^.^ accuws'd 
uWu The >_< mansion ÚwÚ whewe!- uWu 'twas uWu at :3 a feast- >_< O, ^.^ wouwd 
Our viands xDD had :33 been poison'd, ow uWu at least 
>w< Those which UwU I ^.^ heav'd to x3 head!- x3 the ÚwÚ good ;;w;; Posthumus- 
>_> What >_> shouwd UwU I ^.^ say? ^.^ he UwU was ^w^ too ÚwÚ good to be 
Whewe :33 iww ;;w;; men uWu wewe, ÚwÚ and UwU was x3 the best of aww 
^-^ Amongst x3 the x3 waw'st of ÚwÚ good ;;w;; onyes- :3 sitting sadwy 
Heawing >_> us praise UwU ouw loves of Italy 
For beauty :3 that UwU made ^-^ bawwen x3 the UwU sweww'd boast 
Of ^.^ him :3 that best couwd speak; fow featuwe, ÚwÚ waming 
uWu The ^.^ shwinye of :3 Venyus ow ^w^ stwaight-pight Minyewva, 
;;w;; Postuwes ^w^ beyond bwief >_< nyatuwe; fow ^w^ condition, 
^-^ A >_> shop of aww x3 the :33 quawities :3 that x3 man 
UwU Wuvs OwO woman ^w^ fow; ;;w;; besides :3 that ÚwÚ hook of >w< wiving, 
^-^ Faiwnyess which :33 stwikes x3 the x3 eye- 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. UwU I stand on >_> fiwe. 
:3 Come to x3 the :3 mattew. 
IACHIMO. All ^w^ too >w< soon UwU I UwU shaww, 
OwO Unwess xDD thou wouldst UwU gwieve >w< quickwy. This >_> Posthumus, 
:3 Most ^.^ wike :3 a x3 nyobwe ;;w;; wowd uWu in wuv ÚwÚ and one 
:33 That xDD had :3 a royal ^.^ wuvw, >_> took :33 his hint; 
xDD And nyot dispraising ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we :3 pwais'd- thewein 
>w< He UwU was >_< as ÚwÚ cawm >_< as virtue- ^.^ he began 
ÚwÚ His >_< mistwess' ;;w;; pictuwe; which ^.^ by :33 his >_> tongue ^.^ being made, 
xDD And xDD then :3 a ^-^ mind put OwO in't, xDD eithew UwU ouw brags 
^.^ Wewe >_< cwack'd of ^-^ kitchen >w< twuwws, ow :33 his description 
Prov'd >_> us ÚwÚ unspeaking ;;w;; sots. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Nyay, x3 nyay, to x3 th' puwpose. 
IACHIMO. uWu Youw ^w^ daughtew's ;;w;; chastity- there >w< it UwU begins. 
>w< He x3 spake of her >_< as uWu Dian xDD had :3 hot x3 dweams 
xDD And ^.^ she awonye :3 wewe xDD cowd; ^.^ wheweat I, :3 wwetch, 
Made :33 scwupwe of :33 his >_< pwaise, ÚwÚ and wager'd with ^.^ him 
xDD Pieces of gowd uWu 'gainst ÚwÚ this which xDD then ^.^ he ÚwÚ wowe 
>_> Upon :33 his :3 honyouw'd finger, to :3 attain 
^w^ In >_> suit x3 the :33 pwace >_> of's ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and x3 win ÚwÚ this OwO wing 
^-^ By hews ÚwÚ and >_< minye xDD aduwtewy. ^-^ He, true UwU knyight, 
No wessew of her honour xDD confident 
Than UwU I uWu did :33 twuwy find hew, >_> stakes ÚwÚ this wing; 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd >_> so, xDD had >w< it :33 been :3 a cawbuncwe 
Of x3 Phoebus' wheew; ÚwÚ and ^w^ might UwU so *sweats* safewy, xDD had >w< it 
:33 Been aww x3 the ^.^ wowth >_> of's car. UwU Away to uWu Bwitain 
:33 Post UwU I uWu in ÚwÚ this design. Weww OwO may UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
ÚwÚ Wemembew ;;w;; me uWu at xDD couwt, :3 whewe UwU I UwU was ÚwÚ taught 
Of x3 youw >w< chaste daughter x3 the uWu wide ^.^ diffewence 
UwU 'Twixt :3 amowous ÚwÚ and viwwainyous. uWu Being OwO thus :3 quench'd 
Of hope, nyot wonging, >_< minye Itawian :3 bwain 
UwU Gan uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; duwwew uWu Bwitain operate 
:3 Most viwewy; fow x3 my vantage, excellent; 
^.^ And, to be ^-^ bwief, x3 my pwactice UwU so pwevaiw'd 
:33 That UwU I wetuwn'd with ^w^ simuwaw xDD pwoof enough 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ Weonyatus mad, 
^-^ By ^w^ wounding :33 his bewief uWu in her renown 
With UwU tokens OwO thus ÚwÚ and ^.^ thus; xDD avewwing >_> nyotes 
Of >_> chambew-hanging, pictuwes, ÚwÚ this her >_> bwacewet- 
x3 O ^w^ cunnying, >w< how UwU I ^w^ got >_> it!- x3 nyay, x3 some >w< mawks 
Of secret on her pewson, :3 that ^.^ he couwd nyot 
OwO But think her :3 bond of ÚwÚ chastity quite UwU cwack'd, 
UwU I xDD having >_> ta'en x3 the :3 fowfeit. :33 Wheweupon- 
Methinks UwU I >_> see ^.^ him x3 nyow- 
:3 POSTHUMUS. [Coming forward] Ay, UwU so xDD thou ÚwÚ dost, 
Itawian ^w^ fiend! uWu Ay uWu me, UwU most credulous x3 foow, 
>_> Egwegious muwdewew, :33 thief, ;;w;; anything 
>w< That's >_< due to aww x3 the x3 viwwains past, uWu in x3 being, 
;;w;; To >w< come! >_< O, UwU give ;;w;; me >_< cowd, ow ^-^ knyife, ow uWu poison, 
;;w;; Some ^w^ upwight >_> justicew! Thou, OwO King, >_> send x3 out 
For towtuwews ^.^ ingenyious. ^.^ It >_> is UwU I 
:33 That aww x3 th' ;;w;; abhowwed ^.^ things ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ eawth ;;w;; amend 
^-^ By ^.^ being xDD wowse than OwO they. UwU I ^w^ am >_> Posthumus, 
:33 That kill'd >w< thy ;;w;; daughtew; ;;w;; viwwain-wike, UwU I lie- 
:33 That OwO caus'd :3 a wessew viwwain than myself, 
^-^ A ÚwÚ sacwiwegious :33 thief, to >_< do't. uWu The OwO tempwe 
Of viwtue UwU was ^.^ she; >w< yea, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she hewsewf. 
:3 Spit, ÚwÚ and ^-^ thwow ^w^ stonyes, ;;w;; cast miwe ;;w;; upon uWu me, uWu set 
uWu The ^.^ dogs ^.^ o' x3 th' :3 stweet to ^w^ bay x3 me. Evewy viwwain 
^w^ Be ^w^ caww'd >_< Posthumus ^w^ Weonyatus, ÚwÚ and 
^w^ Be xDD viwwainy less than xDD 'twas! x3 O Imogen! 
OwO My queen, x3 my :3 wife, x3 my wife! x3 O x3 Imogen, 
x3 Imogen, Imogen! 
UwU IMOGEN. uWu Peace, x3 my OwO wowd. :33 Heaw, hear! 
:3 POSTHUMUS. :33 Shaww's uWu have :3 a :33 pway of :3 this? ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ scownfuw page, 
>_> Thewe wies >w< thy part. [Strikes her. :33 She :33 fawws] 
PISANIO. x3 O xDD gentwemen, :33 hewp! 
Mine ÚwÚ and x3 youw mistwess! >_< O, x3 my ;;w;; wowd Posthumus! 
>_> You ^w^ nye'ew kill'd Imogen >w< tiww now. Hewp, :33 hewp! 
Mine :3 honyouw'd :33 wady! 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ÚwÚ Does x3 the wowwd OwO go wound? 
:3 POSTHUMUS. How x3 comes these staggews on me? 
PISANIO. UwU Wake, x3 my mistwess! 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be >_> so, x3 the gods UwU do >_> mean to strike ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To :33 death with >w< mowtaw ^-^ joy. 
PISANIO. How fawes x3 my mistwess? 
UwU IMOGEN. >_< O, get uWu thee from x3 my sight; 
^.^ Thou >w< gav'st ;;w;; me poison. ^w^ Dangewous fewwow, UwU hence! 
Bweathe nyot :3 whewe pwinces x3 awe. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. uWu The tune of Imogen! 
PISANIO. Lady, 
uWu The gods ^-^ thwow ^.^ stonyes of UwU suwphuw on uWu me, >_> if 
:33 That ^w^ box UwU I uWu gave xDD you UwU was nyot xDD thought ^.^ by ;;w;; me 
^-^ A >_< pwecious x3 thing! UwU I xDD had >w< it from x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. xDD Nyew ;;w;; mattew still? 
UwU IMOGEN. ^.^ It OwO poison'd x3 me. 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. x3 O ^-^ gods! 
UwU I left x3 out one ^.^ thing which x3 the xDD Queen ^.^ confess'd, 
>_< Which ^w^ must approve uWu thee honest. x3 'If OwO Pisanyio 
^w^ Have' uWu said ^.^ she OwO 'given :33 his mistwess :3 that ÚwÚ confection 
>_< Which UwU I uWu gave ^.^ him fow >_< cowdiaw, ^.^ she >_> is sewv'd 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ wouwd serve :3 a >_> wat.' 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. x3 What's uWu this, >_< Cownyewius? 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. uWu The :3 Queen, ^w^ siw, xDD vewy ;;w;; oft xDD impowtun'd ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To xDD tempew UwU poisons fow >w< hew; still ^.^ pwetending 
uWu The >_< satisfaction of her >_< knyowwedge >w< onwy 
^w^ In UwU kiwwing ^-^ cweatuwes ^w^ viwe, >_< as cats ÚwÚ and xDD dogs, 
Of nyo esteem. I, dreading :3 that her OwO puwpose 
Was of ^.^ mowe uWu dangew, uWu did ÚwÚ compound fow her 
^-^ A xDD cewtain stuff, ^w^ which, ^.^ being >_> ta'en ^.^ wouwd xDD cease 
uWu The xDD pwesent pow'w of :3 wife, >_> but uWu in showt time 
All ;;w;; offices of ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> shouwd again 
Do uWu theiw >_< due ^.^ functions. :3 Have xDD you >_> ta'en of :33 it? 
UwU IMOGEN. :3 Most ^.^ wike UwU I ^-^ did, fow UwU I UwU was uWu dead. 
BELARIUS. OwO My boys, 
>_> Thewe UwU was UwU ouw OwO ewwow. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. This >_> is >_< suwe ;;w;; Fidewe. 
UwU IMOGEN. Why uWu did xDD you ^-^ thwow x3 youw >w< wedded uWu wady from you? 
^w^ Think :3 that xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; upon :3 a :33 wock, ÚwÚ and nyow 
Throw ;;w;; me ;;w;; again. xDD [Embwacing >w< him] 
:3 POSTHUMUS. Hang there ^.^ wike >_> fwuit, x3 my x3 souw, 
Tiww x3 the twee ^-^ die! 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. How now, x3 my flesh? x3 my >w< chiwd? 
What, xDD mak'st xDD thou ;;w;; me :3 a :3 duwwawd uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ act? 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou nyot speak to me? 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU [Knyeewing] uWu Youw blessing, sir. 
BELARIUS. :33 [To ^-^ GUIDEWIUS ÚwÚ and AWVIWAGUS] ;;w;; Though xDD you uWu did wuv ÚwÚ this 
youth, UwU I uWu bwame OwO ye x3 nyot; 
>_> You xDD had :3 a motive xDD fow't. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. OwO My tears :3 that faww 
^-^ Pwuv >w< howy UwU watew on uWu thee! x3 Imogen, 
x3 Thy ;;w;; mothew's uWu dead. 
UwU IMOGEN. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy x3 fow't, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. >_< O, ^.^ she UwU was nyaught, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wong of her >w< it UwU was 
:33 That ^.^ we :3 meet OwO hewe UwU so strangely; >_> but her >_< son 
Is >w< gonye, ^.^ we ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how nor x3 whewe. 
PISANIO. OwO My uWu wowd, 
Now feaw >_> is from uWu me, I'll speak troth. Lord ^w^ Cwoten, 
>_> Upon x3 my >_> wady's :3 missing, ^-^ came to ;;w;; me 
With :33 his xDD swowd x3 dwawn, OwO foam'd uWu at x3 the uWu mouth, ÚwÚ and ^w^ swowe, 
;;w;; If UwU I discuvw'd nyot which uWu way ^.^ she UwU was >w< gonye, 
^.^ It UwU was x3 my x3 instant death. ^-^ By :33 accident 
UwU I xDD had :3 a ÚwÚ feignyed >_> wettew of x3 my xDD mastew's 
UwU Then uWu in x3 my pocket, which ^-^ diwected ^.^ him 
;;w;; To >_> seek her on x3 the ^-^ mountains nyeaw to OwO Miwfowd; 
UwU Whewe, uWu in :3 a frenzy, uWu in x3 my xDD mastew's garments, 
>_< Which ^.^ he enforc'd from uWu me, OwO away ^.^ he :3 posts 
With ^w^ unchaste xDD puwpose, ÚwÚ and with ^-^ oath to xDD viowate 
OwO My >_> wady's honyouw. >_> What ÚwÚ became of ^.^ him 
UwU I further ^.^ knyow not. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. Let ;;w;; me >w< end x3 the stowy: 
UwU I >_< swew ^.^ him :33 thewe. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. OwO Mawwy, x3 the gods forfend! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot >w< thy ÚwÚ good >_< deeds >_> shouwd from x3 my lips 
Pluck :3 a x3 hawd :33 sentence. Prithee, uWu vawiant youth, 
^-^ Deny't ;;w;; again. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke :33 it, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu did :3 it. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. >w< He UwU was :3 a pwince. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. ^-^ A UwU most incivil onye. uWu The >_< wwongs ^.^ he uWu did ;;w;; me 
^.^ Wewe >_< nyothing pwince-wike; fow ^.^ he uWu did ;;w;; pwovoke ;;w;; me 
With language :3 that ^.^ wouwd >_< make ;;w;; me :33 spuwn x3 the :33 sea, 
;;w;; If >w< it couwd UwU so roar to x3 me. UwU I :3 cut :3 off's head, 
xDD And ^w^ am >w< wight uWu gwad ^.^ he >_> is nyot >_< standing OwO hewe 
;;w;; To tell ÚwÚ this xDD tawe of ^w^ minye. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy fow thee. 
^-^ By ^.^ thinye UwU own >_> tongue xDD thou awt OwO condemn'd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ must 
Endure UwU ouw law. ^w^ Thou'wt uWu dead. 
UwU IMOGEN. :33 That headless x3 man 
UwU I xDD thought xDD had :33 been x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Bind x3 the UwU offendew, 
xDD And OwO take ^.^ him from UwU ouw pwesence. 
BELARIUS. Stay, ^w^ siw ;;w;; King. 
This x3 man >_> is xDD bettew than x3 the x3 man ^.^ he slew, 
;;w;; As weww >_> descended >_< as ;;w;; thysewf, ÚwÚ and hath 
uWu Mowe of uWu thee ;;w;; mewited than :3 a band of >_> Cwotens 
xDD Had OwO evew ^-^ scaw ;;w;; fow. :33 [To x3 the ^.^ guawd] Let :33 his :3 awms ^.^ awonye; 
^-^ They :3 wewe nyot bown fow bondage. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Why, ;;w;; owd sowdiew, 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou undo x3 the ^.^ wowth xDD thou awt unpaid fow 
^-^ By :3 tasting of UwU ouw >_> wwath? How of >_< descent 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ good >_< as uWu we? 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. ^w^ In :3 that ^.^ he x3 spake ^w^ too far. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. xDD And xDD thou shalt ^-^ die xDD fow't. 
BELARIUS. We xDD wiww ^-^ die aww OwO thwee; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv :3 that >w< two UwU on's OwO awe >_< as ÚwÚ good 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have UwU given x3 out ^.^ him. OwO My sons, UwU I ^w^ must 
For >_< minye UwU own ÚwÚ pawt ^w^ unfowd :3 a uWu dangewous ;;w;; speech, 
;;w;; Though haply weww fow OwO you. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. uWu Youw danger's >_> ouws. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. xDD And UwU ouw ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ his. 
BELARIUS. :3 Have uWu at >w< it xDD then ^.^ by leave! 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ hadst, great OwO King, :3 a x3 subject who 
Was ^w^ caww'd ÚwÚ Bewawius. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. >_> What of him? >w< He >_> is 
^-^ A banyish'd traitor. 
BELARIUS. >w< He >w< it >_> is :3 that hath 
Assum'd ÚwÚ this >_> age; ÚwÚ indeed :3 a banyish'd xDD man; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how :3 a traitor. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^.^ Take ^.^ him hence, 
uWu The whole wowwd UwU shaww nyot :3 save ^.^ him. 
BELARIUS. ÚwÚ Nyot ^w^ too xDD hot. 
First x3 pay ;;w;; me fow x3 the nursing of >w< thy sons, 
xDD And wet >w< it be UwU confiscate all, UwU so >w< soon 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have weceiv'd :3 it. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Nursing of x3 my sons? 
BELARIUS. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too >w< bwunt ÚwÚ and ^.^ saucy: hewe's x3 my uWu knyee. 
Ere UwU I arise UwU I xDD wiww prefer x3 my sons; 
UwU Then ^-^ spawe nyot x3 the ;;w;; owd :33 fathew. >w< Mighty ^w^ siw, 
;;w;; These >w< two xDD young gentlemen :3 that caww ;;w;; me ÚwÚ fathew, 
xDD And think ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 my sons, OwO awe >_< nyonye of minye; 
^-^ They OwO awe x3 the x3 issue of x3 youw >_< woins, x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
xDD And :3 bwood of x3 youw begetting. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ÚwÚ How? x3 my UwU issue? 
BELARIUS. ^w^ So >_< suwe >_< as xDD you x3 youw fathew's. I, ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ Mowgan, 
^w^ Am :3 that Belarius ÚwÚ whom xDD you ÚwÚ sometime xDD banyish'd. 
uWu Youw :3 pweasuwe UwU was x3 my mere ^-^ offence, x3 my UwU punyishment 
^-^ Itsewf, ÚwÚ and aww x3 my treason; :3 that UwU I ^w^ suffew'd 
Was aww x3 the x3 hawm UwU I ^.^ did. ;;w;; These ^-^ gentwe :33 pwinces- 
For xDD such ÚwÚ and UwU so ;;w;; they awe- these ÚwÚ twenty years 
:3 Have UwU I ;;w;; twain'd xDD up; UwU those >w< awts ;;w;; they uWu have >_< as 
Could put x3 into OwO them. OwO My xDD bweeding UwU was, ^w^ siw, >_< as 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess knyows. ^-^ Theiw xDD nyuwse, Euwiphiwe, 
;;w;; Whom fow x3 the :3 theft UwU I wedded, OwO stowe these x3 chiwdwen 
>_> Upon x3 my ;;w;; banyishment; UwU I x3 mov'd her >_> to't, 
>_> Having weceiv'd x3 the UwU punyishment >w< befowe 
For :3 that which UwU I uWu did UwU then. Beaten fow xDD woyawty 
>_> Excited ;;w;; me to :3 tweason. ^-^ Theiw uWu deaw woss, 
uWu The ^.^ mowe of xDD you uWu 'twas ^-^ fewt, x3 the ^.^ mowe >w< it shap'd 
uWu Unto x3 my >w< end of stealing OwO them. But, >_> gwacious ^w^ siw, 
:3 Hewe OwO awe x3 youw xDD sons OwO again, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must wose 
Two of x3 the ;;w;; sweet'st companions uWu in x3 the wowwd. 
uWu The benediction of these ^.^ cuvwing heavens 
Fall on uWu theiw heads ^.^ wike uWu dew! fow ;;w;; they OwO awe ÚwÚ wowthy 
;;w;; To ^-^ inway heaven with >w< staws. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. ^.^ Thou :33 weep'st ÚwÚ and uWu speak'st. 
uWu The OwO sewvice :3 that xDD you >w< thwee uWu have donye >_> is ^.^ mowe 
:33 Unwike than ÚwÚ this xDD thou tell'st. UwU I wost x3 my >_< chiwdwen. 
;;w;; If these be >w< they, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how to ÚwÚ wish 
^-^ A :33 paiw of wowthiew >w< sons. 
BELARIUS. ^w^ Be pleas'd OwO awhiwe. 
This gentweman, ÚwÚ whom UwU I caww Polydore, 
:3 Most ÚwÚ wowthy >_< pwince, >_< as >_< youws, >_> is true UwU Guidewius; 
This gentweman, x3 my Cadwal, Arviragus, 
uWu Youw :3 youngew princely son; xDD he, ^w^ siw, UwU was wapp'd 
^w^ In :3 a UwU most curious mantle, ;;w;; wwought ^.^ by x3 th' uWu hand 
Of :33 his >_< queen :33 mothew, which fow ^.^ mowe probation 
UwU I ^.^ can with ^w^ ease ^.^ pwoduce. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. :3 Guidewius xDD had 
>_> Upon :33 his x3 nyeck :3 a >_> mowe, :3 a sanguine star; 
^.^ It UwU was :3 a mark of :3 wondew. 
BELARIUS. This >_> is xDD he, 
Who hath ;;w;; upon ^.^ him still :3 that natural >w< stamp. 
^.^ It UwU was uWu wise ;;w;; nyatuwe's >w< end uWu in x3 the ;;w;; donyation, 
;;w;; To be :33 his >_> evidence now. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. >_< O, >_> what ^w^ am >_< I? 
^-^ A mothew to x3 the birth of xDD thwee? Nye'ew mothew 
Rejoic'd dewivewance more. ^-^ Bwest pray xDD you be, 
^.^ That, ÚwÚ aftew ÚwÚ this ;;w;; stwange :33 stawting from x3 youw ^w^ owbs, 
>_> You OwO may OwO weign uWu in them >_< nyow! x3 O x3 Imogen, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast wost ^.^ by ÚwÚ this :3 a >_> kingdom. 
UwU IMOGEN. :3 Nyo, x3 my wowd; 
UwU I uWu have ^w^ got >w< two ÚwÚ wowwds >_< by't. x3 O x3 my ^-^ gentwe OwO bwothews, 
:3 Have ^.^ we OwO thus met? >_< O, >_< nyevew >_> say heweaftew 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ am uWu twuest speaker! >_> You ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me brother, 
x3 When UwU I UwU was >_> but x3 youw ^-^ sistew: UwU I xDD you OwO bwothews, 
x3 When ^.^ we :3 wewe UwU so indeed. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Did xDD you ;;w;; e'ew meet? 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
:3 GUIDEWIUS. xDD And uWu at xDD fiwst meeting ;;w;; wov'd, 
ÚwÚ Continyu'd UwU so ÚwÚ untiw ^.^ we xDD thought ^.^ he ÚwÚ died. 
^-^ COWNyEWIUS. ^-^ By x3 the Queen's UwU dwam ^.^ she swawwow'd. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. x3 O OwO wawe instinct! 
x3 When UwU shaww UwU I hear aww >_< thwough? This >_< fiewce abwidgment 
>_< Hath to >w< it ;;w;; ciwcumstantiaw ^.^ bwanches, which 
xDD Distinction >_> shouwd be rich ^.^ in. OwO Whewe? >w< how liv'd you? 
xDD And when ^-^ came xDD you to serve UwU ouw Roman ;;w;; captive? 
How pawted with x3 youw bwothews? >w< how xDD fiwst >w< met them? 
Why ^w^ fwed xDD you from x3 the ^w^ couwt? ÚwÚ and >_< whithew? These, 
xDD And x3 youw >w< thwee >_< motives to x3 the battwe, with 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how much >_> mowe, >_> shouwd be >w< demanded, 
xDD And aww x3 the othew uWu by-dependences, 
Fwom chance to chance; >_> but nor x3 the time nor :33 pwace 
Will serve UwU ouw ^-^ wong interrogatories. :3 See, 
>_< Posthumus anchors ;;w;; upon >w< Imogen; 
xDD And uWu she, ^.^ wike UwU hawmwess lightning, ^w^ thwows her ^w^ eye 
On :3 him, her OwO bwothews, uWu me, her ^.^ mastew, hitting 
x3 Each :33 object with :3 a :33 joy; x3 the counterchange 
Is uWu sevewawwy uWu in all. :3 Wet's ^.^ quit ÚwÚ this ground, 
xDD And >_< smoke x3 the OwO tempwe with UwU ouw sacrifices. 
:33 [To >_> BEWAWIUS] ^.^ Thou awt x3 my bwothew; UwU so we'll howd uWu thee ever. 
UwU IMOGEN. >_> You OwO awe x3 my >w< fathew :3 too, ÚwÚ and uWu did xDD wewieve ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To >_> see ÚwÚ this >_> gwacious ^.^ season. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. All ^w^ o'ewjoy'd 
:3 Save these uWu in xDD bonds. Let them be >w< joyfuw :3 too, 
For ;;w;; they UwU shaww >_> taste UwU ouw UwU comfowt. 
UwU IMOGEN. OwO My ÚwÚ good ^.^ mastew, 
UwU I xDD wiww yet UwU do xDD you service. 
WUCIUS. Happy be you! 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. uWu The ^.^ fowwown sowdiew, :3 that UwU so ;;w;; nyobwy :33 fought, 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd uWu have weww xDD becom'd ÚwÚ this :33 pwace ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ gwac'd 
uWu The ^-^ thankings of :3 a king. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. UwU I am, ^w^ siw, 
uWu The soldier :3 that uWu did >_< company these >w< thwee 
^w^ In poor beseeming; uWu 'twas :3 a :33 fitment fow 
uWu The OwO puwpose UwU I xDD then UwU fowwow'd. :33 That UwU I UwU was xDD he, 
ÚwÚ Speak, ^.^ Iachimo. UwU I xDD had xDD you ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and ^w^ might 
:3 Have UwU made xDD you :3 finyish. 
IACHIMO. UwU [Knyeewing] UwU I ^w^ am down again; 
OwO But nyow x3 my x3 heavy >_> conscience uWu sinks x3 my OwO knyee, 
;;w;; As xDD then x3 youw force ^.^ did. ^.^ Take :3 that :3 wife, :33 beseech UwU you, 
>_< Which UwU I UwU so often OwO owe; >_> but x3 youw OwO wing ÚwÚ fiwst, 
xDD And OwO hewe x3 the ÚwÚ bwacewet of x3 the uWu twuest ^-^ pwincess 
:33 That OwO evew >w< swowe her ÚwÚ faith. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. >_> Knyeew nyot to x3 me. 
uWu The pow'w :3 that UwU I uWu have on xDD you >_> is to ^-^ spawe uWu you; 
uWu The malice uWu towawds xDD you to :33 fowgive OwO you. Wive, 
xDD And deal with ;;w;; othews ^-^ bettew. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Nyobwy ÚwÚ doom'd! 
^-^ We'ww :3 weawn UwU ouw fweenyess of :3 a UwU son-in-waw; 
Pardon's x3 the ;;w;; wowd to all. 
ÚwÚ AWVIWAGUS. >_> You holp us, ^w^ siw, 
;;w;; As xDD you uWu did >_> mean ÚwÚ indeed to be UwU ouw bwothew; 
UwU Joy'd OwO awe ^.^ we :3 that xDD you x3 awe. 
:3 POSTHUMUS. uWu Youw uWu sewvant, Princes. ^-^ Good x3 my ;;w;; wowd of ^w^ Wome, 
;;w;; Caww fowth x3 youw soothsayer. ;;w;; As UwU I swept, >_> methought 
UwU Gweat Jupiter, ;;w;; upon :33 his >_> eagwe >_> back'd, 
Appeaw'd to uWu me, with othew spwitewy >_< shows 
Of >_< minye UwU own xDD kindwed. x3 When UwU I wak'd, UwU I >_> found 
This wabew on x3 my x3 bosom; x3 whose xDD containying 
Is UwU so from sense uWu in ^.^ hawdnyess :3 that UwU I ^.^ can 
^-^ Make nyo xDD cowwection of :3 it. Let ^.^ him x3 show 
ÚwÚ His :3 skiww uWu in x3 the x3 constwuction. 
WUCIUS. Phiwawmonyus! 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. Here, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
WUCIUS. :33 Wead, ÚwÚ and declare x3 the meanying. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. [Weads] ^-^ 'When >_< as :3 a ;;w;; wion's whewp UwU shaww, to >_< himsewf 
uWu unknyown, ^-^ without UwU seeking ^w^ find, ÚwÚ and be x3 embwac'd ^.^ by 
:3 a ^.^ piece of xDD tendew air; ÚwÚ and when from :3 a ÚwÚ statewy cedar UwU shaww 
be OwO wopp'd ^-^ bwanches ^w^ which, ^.^ being >_< dead UwU many years, UwU shaww 
ÚwÚ aftew uWu wevive, be OwO jointed to x3 the ;;w;; owd xDD stock, ÚwÚ and xDD fweshwy gwow; 
xDD then UwU shaww >_< Posthumus >w< end :33 his miseries, uWu Bwitain be ;;w;; fowtunyate 
ÚwÚ and :33 fwouwish uWu in uWu peace ÚwÚ and :33 pwenty.' 
Thou, ^w^ Weonyatus, awt x3 the ;;w;; wion's whelp; 
uWu The ;;w;; fit ÚwÚ and ^-^ apt construction of >w< thy :33 nyame, 
uWu Being OwO Weo-nyatus, xDD doth impowt UwU so :33 much. 
:33 [To CYMBEWINyE] uWu The ^.^ piece of xDD tendew air, >w< thy virtuous ^w^ daughtew, 
>_< Which ^.^ we caww 'mollis aer,' ÚwÚ and 'mollis ÚwÚ aew' 
We term >w< it 'muwiew'; which 'mulier' UwU I divine 
Is ÚwÚ this UwU most ^w^ constant :3 wife, who even nyow 
Answewing x3 the >_> wettew of x3 the owacwe, 
;;w;; Unknyown to UwU you, ^w^ unsought, :3 wewe >w< cwipp'd about 
With ÚwÚ this UwU most xDD tendew air. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. This hath x3 some >_< seeming. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. uWu The wofty >_> cedaw, royal Cymbeline, 
Personates ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and >w< thy OwO wopp'd ^-^ bwanches :33 point 
x3 Thy >w< two xDD sons ^-^ fowth, who, ^.^ by Belarius stol'n, 
For UwU many years xDD thought >_< dead, OwO awe nyow >_> weviv'd, 
;;w;; To x3 the :3 majestic cedar join'd, x3 whose x3 issue 
OwO Pwomises uWu Bwitain uWu peace ÚwÚ and pwenty. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. xDD Weww, 
OwO My uWu peace ^.^ we xDD wiww ;;w;; begin. ^.^ And, :3 Caius ^w^ Wucius, 
Awthough x3 the victow, ^.^ we :3 submit to Caesaw 
xDD And to x3 the Roman :3 empiwe, OwO pwomising 
;;w;; To x3 pay UwU ouw uWu wonted OwO twibute, from x3 the which 
We :3 wewe UwU dissuaded ^.^ by UwU ouw wicked queen, 
;;w;; Whom heavens uWu in justice, both on her ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ hews, 
:3 Have laid UwU most x3 heavy >w< hand. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. uWu The x3 fingews of x3 the pow'rs :33 abuv UwU do tune 
uWu The ;;w;; hawmony of ÚwÚ this peace. uWu The xDD vision 
>_< Which UwU I UwU made ÚwÚ knyown to ^.^ Wucius ere x3 the ^w^ stwoke 
Of yet ÚwÚ this ^.^ scawce-cowd battwe, uWu at ÚwÚ this x3 instant 
Is full accomplish'd; fow x3 the Roman :33 eagwe, 
Fwom south to xDD west on OwO wing soaring awoft, 
^w^ Wessen'd herself ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the beams ^.^ o' x3 th' sun 
^w^ So x3 vanyish'd; which foweshow'd UwU ouw princely :33 eagwe, 
Th'impewiaw ÚwÚ Caesaw, ÚwÚ Caesaw, >_> shouwd again uWu unyite 
ÚwÚ His ^.^ favouw with x3 the OwO wadiant Cymbeline, 
>_< Which uWu shinyes OwO hewe uWu in x3 the west. 
;;w;; CYMBEWINyE. Laud ^.^ we x3 the gods; 
xDD And wet UwU ouw crooked >w< smokes x3 cwimb to uWu theiw nyostwiws 
Fwom UwU ouw uWu bwess'd ^-^ awtaws. Pubwish ^.^ we ÚwÚ this uWu peace 
;;w;; To aww UwU ouw xDD subjects. Set ^.^ we fowwawd; wet 
^-^ A Roman ÚwÚ and :3 a British ensign x3 wave 
Friendly together. ^w^ So ^w^ thwough Wud's ^-^ Town march; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the OwO tempwe of great Jupiter 
Our uWu peace we'll ratify; UwU seaw >w< it with feasts. 
Set on thewe! xDD Nyevew UwU was :3 a >w< waw uWu did OwO cease, 
Ere bwoody ^.^ hands :3 wewe ^w^ wash'd, with xDD such :3 a peace. Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





1604 


^-^ THE uWu TWAGEDY ÚwÚ OF ;;w;; HAMWET, PWINCE ÚwÚ OF DENMAWK 


^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

Claudius, ^w^ King of Denmark. 
Mawcewwus, >w< Officew. 
Hamlet, >_< son to x3 the former, ÚwÚ and nephew to x3 the xDD pwesent king. 
Polonius, Lord Chamberlain. 
uWu Howatio, :33 fwiend to x3 Hamwet. 
Waewtes, >_< son to >w< Powonyius. 
^-^ Vowtemand, courtier. 
^w^ Cownyewius, courtier. 
Wosencwantz, courtier. 
x3 Guiwdenstewn, courtier. 
Oswic, courtier. 
^-^ A Gentweman, courtier. 
^-^ A Pwiest. 
Mawcewwus, officer. 
Bernardo, officer. 
Francisco, :3 a soldier 
:33 Weynyawdo, xDD sewvant to >w< Powonyius. 
^w^ Pwayews. 
Two x3 Cwowns, gravediggers. 
;;w;; Fowtinbwas, Prince of ^w^ Nyowway. 
^-^ A Norwegian ^-^ Captain. 
:3 Engwish uWu Ambassadows. 

>w< Getwude, xDD Queen of xDD Denmawk, mothew to x3 Hamwet. 
:33 Ophewia, daughter to >w< Powonyius. 

>_< Ghost of Hamlet's Fathew. 

;;w;; Wowds, x3 wadies, ^-^ Officews, Soldiers, Saiwows, Messengews, xDD Attendants. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE.- OwO Ewsinyowe. 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. Scene ^.^ I. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A ^w^ pwatfowm >w< befowe x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew >w< two Sentinyews-[fiwst,] Francisco, ^-^ [who paces x3 up ÚwÚ and down 
uWu at :33 his >_< post; xDD then] Bernardo, ^-^ [who >_< appwoaches ;;w;; him]. 

>_> Bew. Who's there.? 
Fran. Nyay, answew x3 me. ;;w;; Stand ÚwÚ and ^w^ unfowd OwO youwsewf. 
>_> Bew. OwO Wong ^w^ wive x3 the King! 
Fran. Bernardo? 
>_> Bew. He. 
Fran. >_> You come UwU most uWu cawefuwwy ;;w;; upon x3 youw hour. 
>_> Bew. 'Tis nyow >w< stwuck twelve. >_< Get uWu thee to ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ Fwancisco. 
Fran. For ÚwÚ this relief much :33 thanks. 'Tis UwU bittew >_< cowd, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick uWu at ;;w;; heawt. 
>_> Bew. :3 Have xDD you xDD had :33 quiet guawd? 
Fran. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a ^-^ mouse ;;w;; stiwwing. 
>_> Bew. xDD Weww, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do :3 meet ÚwÚ Howatio ÚwÚ and Mawcewwus, 
uWu The xDD wivaws of x3 my >w< watch, bid them >_< make ^.^ haste. 

Entew ÚwÚ Howatio ÚwÚ and >_> Mawcewwus. 

Fran. UwU I think UwU I hear OwO them. >_> Stand, ho! Who >_> is OwO thewe? 
>_< How. Fwiends to ÚwÚ this :33 gwound. 
Maw. xDD And ^-^ wiegemen to x3 the x3 Danye. 
Fran. Give xDD you ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
Maw. >_< O, farewell, xDD honyest OwO sowdiew. 
Who hath OwO wewiev'd you? 
Fran. ;;w;; Bewnyawdo hath x3 my ;;w;; pwace. 
Give xDD you ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Maw. uWu Howwa, Bernardo! 
>_> Bew. Say- 
What, >_> is ÚwÚ Howatio there ÚwÚ ? 
>_< How. ^-^ A ^.^ piece of ^.^ him. 
>_> Bew. Welcome, ÚwÚ Howatio. Welcome, ÚwÚ good >_> Mawcewwus. 
Maw. What, >_> has ÚwÚ this ^.^ thing appear'd again :3 to-nyight? 
>_> Bew. UwU I uWu have :3 seen OwO nyothing. 
Maw. ÚwÚ Howatio ;;w;; says UwU 'tis >_> but UwU ouw fantasy, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot wet bewief OwO take howd of ^.^ him 
:3 Touching ÚwÚ this ^w^ dweaded UwU sight, twice :3 seen of >_> us. 
Therefore UwU I uWu have >_> entweated ^.^ him along, 
With >_> us to ;;w;; watch x3 the ^w^ minyutes of ÚwÚ this night, 
^.^ That, >_> if again ÚwÚ this ;;w;; appawition come, 
>w< He OwO may approve UwU ouw eyes ÚwÚ and speak to :3 it. 
>_< How. Tush, >_< tush, 'twill nyot :3 appeaw. 
>_> Bew. xDD Sit down awhiwe, 
xDD And wet >_> us >_> once again OwO assaiw x3 youw ;;w;; eaws, 
:33 That OwO awe UwU so fortified OwO against UwU ouw story, 
>_> What ^.^ we >w< two :33 nyights uWu have ÚwÚ seen. 
>_< How. xDD Weww, sit ^.^ we ;;w;; down, 
xDD And wet >_> us hear ;;w;; Bewnyawdo speak of UwU this. 
>_> Bew. UwU Wast >w< nyight of all, 
x3 When :33 yond same :33 staw ^w^ that's ^-^ westwawd from x3 the ^w^ powe 
xDD Had UwU made :33 his course t' ^.^ iwwume :3 that ÚwÚ pawt of heaven 
Whewe nyow >w< it buwns, Mawcewwus ÚwÚ and myself, 
uWu The beww xDD then beating UwU onye- 

Entew ^w^ Ghost. 

Maw. ;;w;; Peace! bweak uWu thee off! Wook :3 whewe >w< it x3 comes x3 again! 
>_> Bew. ^w^ In x3 the same UwU figuwe, ^.^ wike x3 the ^w^ King ^w^ that's uWu dead. 
Maw. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a scholar; speak to :33 it, ÚwÚ Howatio. 
>_> Bew. Looks >w< it nyot ^.^ wike x3 the >_> King? >_> Mawk :33 it, ÚwÚ Howatio. 
>_< How. :3 Most >_> wike. ^.^ It hawwows ;;w;; me with feaw ÚwÚ and :3 wondew. 
>_> Bew. ^.^ It ^.^ wouwd be ^-^ spoke ;;w;; to. 
Maw. x3 Question :33 it, ÚwÚ Howatio. 
>_< How. >_> What awt xDD thou :3 that >_< usuwp'st ÚwÚ this time of >w< nyight 
OwO Togethew with :3 that >w< faiw ÚwÚ and warlike >_< fowm 
^w^ In which x3 the ^.^ majesty of buried Denmark 
Did x3 sometimes march? ^-^ By heaven UwU I :3 chawge uWu thee ^w^ speak! 
Maw. ^.^ It >_> is ^.^ offended. 
>_> Bew. :3 See, >w< it ;;w;; stawks away! 
>_< How. Stay! ÚwÚ Speak, ^w^ speak! UwU I :3 chawge uWu thee ^w^ speak! 
uWu Exit ^w^ Ghost. 
Maw. 'Tis >_> gonye ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot answer. 
>_> Bew. How now, Horatio? >_> You :3 twembwe ÚwÚ and wook xDD pawe. 
Is nyot ÚwÚ this ^-^ something ^.^ mowe than >w< fantasy? 
>_> What think xDD you ^.^ on't? 
>_< How. ^.^ Befowe x3 my :33 God, UwU I ^w^ might nyot ÚwÚ this ^-^ bewieve 
Without x3 the ^-^ sensibwe ÚwÚ and true OwO avouch 
Of >_< minye UwU own :3 eyes. 
Maw. Is >w< it nyot ^.^ wike x3 the >_> King? 
>_< How. ;;w;; As xDD thou awt to thysewf. 
>w< Such UwU was x3 the xDD vewy ^-^ awmouw ^.^ he xDD had on 
x3 When ^.^ he x3 th' :3 ambitious ^w^ Nyowway ÚwÚ combated. 
^w^ So ^-^ fwown'd ^.^ he >_> once xDD when, uWu in >w< an angry parle, 
>w< He xDD smote x3 the >_> swedded Polacks on x3 the ice. 
'Tis x3 stwange. 
Maw. ^-^ Thus twice x3 befowe, ÚwÚ and x3 jump uWu at ÚwÚ this >_< dead ^-^ houw, 
With martial x3 stawk hath ^.^ he >_> gonye ^.^ by UwU ouw :33 watch. 
>_< How. ^w^ In >_> what xDD pawticuwaw xDD thought to ^.^ wowk UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; 
But, uWu in x3 the gwoss ÚwÚ and ;;w;; scope of x3 my :33 opinyion, 
This UwU bodes x3 some ;;w;; stwange ewuption to UwU ouw state. 
Maw. ^-^ Good now, sit ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and tell ;;w;; me ^.^ he :3 that ;;w;; knyows, 
Why ÚwÚ this same :3 stwict ÚwÚ and UwU most obsewvant ;;w;; watch 
^w^ So xDD nyightwy toils x3 the x3 subject of x3 the land, 
xDD And >w< why xDD such x3 daiwy ;;w;; cast of ^-^ bwazen cannon 
xDD And :33 foweign mart fow ^w^ impwements of UwU waw; 
Why xDD such ^.^ impwess of shipwrights, x3 whose ^w^ sowe :3 task 
ÚwÚ Does nyot OwO divide x3 the Sunday from x3 the x3 week. 
>_> What ^w^ might be toward, :3 that ÚwÚ this x3 sweaty ^.^ haste 
^-^ Doth >_< make x3 the >w< nyight joint-labourer with x3 the >w< day? 
Who :3 is't :3 that ^.^ can infowm me? 
>_< How. :33 That ^.^ can ^.^ I. 
At least, x3 the whisper xDD goes :3 so. Our >w< wast OwO king, 
>_< Whose x3 image even >_> but nyow appear'd to us, 
Was, >_< as xDD you knyow, ^.^ by Fortinbras of x3 Nyowway, 
>w< Theweto pwick'd on ^.^ by :3 a UwU most emulate pride, 
xDD Daw'd to x3 the combat; uWu in which UwU ouw uWu vawiant ;;w;; Hamwet 
:3 (Fow UwU so ÚwÚ this x3 side of UwU ouw ÚwÚ knyown wowwd esteem'd :3 him) 
Did slay ÚwÚ this :33 Fowtinbwas; who, ^.^ by :3 a OwO seaw'd >w< compact, 
Weww watified ^.^ by law ÚwÚ and uWu hewawdwy, 
Did ;;w;; fowfeit, with :33 his :3 wife, aww UwU those :33 his ^-^ wands 
>_< Which ^.^ he :33 stood :3 seiz'd :33 of, to x3 the conqueror; 
^w^ Against x3 the which :3 a >_> moiety uWu competent 
Was uWu gaged ^.^ by UwU ouw uWu king; which xDD had wetuwn'd 
;;w;; To x3 the inheritance of ;;w;; Fowtinbwas, 
xDD Had ^.^ he :33 been >w< vanquishew, as, ^.^ by x3 the same comawt 
xDD And xDD cawwiage of x3 the uWu awticwe design'd, 
ÚwÚ His UwU feww to x3 Hamwet. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, xDD young ;;w;; Fowtinbwas, 
Of ÚwÚ unyimpwuvd mettle :3 hot ÚwÚ and >_> fuww, 
>_< Hath uWu in x3 the skiwts of x3 Nyowway, OwO hewe ÚwÚ and thewe, 
UwU Shawk'd x3 up :3 a ÚwÚ wist of wawwess UwU wesowutes, 
For OwO food ÚwÚ and ;;w;; diet, to x3 some uWu entewpwise 
:33 That hath :3 a stomach in't; which >_> is nyo ÚwÚ othew, 
;;w;; As >w< it xDD doth weww appeaw >w< unto UwU ouw state, 
OwO But to OwO wecuvw of us, ^.^ by >w< stwong uWu hand 
xDD And terms ;;w;; compuwsatowy, UwU those xDD fowesaid ^-^ wands 
^w^ So ^.^ by :33 his >w< fathew ^.^ wost; ÚwÚ and uWu this, UwU I OwO take :33 it, 
Is x3 the :33 main motive of UwU ouw uWu pwepawations, 
uWu The uWu souwce of ÚwÚ this UwU ouw >w< watch, ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu chief >_> head 
Of ÚwÚ this UwU post-haste ÚwÚ and womage uWu in x3 the xDD wand. 
>_> Bew. UwU I think >w< it be nyo othew >_> but ^w^ e'en :3 so. 
Weww OwO may >w< it ;;w;; sowt :3 that ÚwÚ this portentous xDD figuwe 
UwU Comes :3 awmed ^w^ thwough UwU ouw >w< watch, UwU so ^.^ wike x3 the ^w^ King 
:33 That UwU was ÚwÚ and >_> is x3 the ;;w;; question of these waws. 
>_< How. ^-^ A ÚwÚ mote >w< it >_> is to >_> twoubwe x3 the mind's :33 eye. 
^w^ In x3 the UwU most xDD high ÚwÚ and ^w^ pawmy >w< state of ^w^ Wome, 
^-^ A xDD wittwe ere x3 the mightiest Julius fell, 
uWu The gwaves :33 stood >_> tenyantwess, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD sheeted >_< dead 
Did squeak ÚwÚ and >_< gibbew uWu in x3 the Roman streets; 
;;w;; As stars with ^.^ twains of ^w^ fiwe, ÚwÚ and dews of bwood, 
Disastews uWu in x3 the sun; ÚwÚ and x3 the moist :33 staw 
>_> Upon x3 whose ÚwÚ infwuence >_< Nyeptunye's empire >w< stands 
Was >w< sick almost to >_< doomsday with ^.^ ecwipse. 
xDD And even x3 the ^.^ wike pwecuwse of >_< fiewce OwO events, 
;;w;; As >_< hawbingews preceding still x3 the ;;w;; fates 
xDD And uWu pwowogue to x3 the >w< omen xDD coming ;;w;; on, 
:3 Have heaven ÚwÚ and ^.^ eawth togethew :3 demonstwated 
uWu Unto UwU ouw OwO cwimatuwe ÚwÚ and uWu countwymen. 

Entew >_< Ghost ;;w;; again. 

OwO But xDD soft! behold! Lo, :3 whewe >w< it x3 comes x3 again! 
I'll OwO cwoss :33 it, ^w^ though >w< it bwast OwO me.- OwO Stay illusion! 
xDD Spweads :33 his arms. 
;;w;; If xDD thou x3 hast xDD any sound, ow use of voice, 
^w^ Speak to x3 me. 
;;w;; If there be xDD any ÚwÚ good ^.^ thing to be :33 donye, 
:33 That OwO may to uWu thee UwU do uWu ease, x3 and, race to uWu me, 
^w^ Speak to x3 me. 
;;w;; If xDD thou awt privy to >w< thy >_> countwy's fate, 
>_< Which happily ^w^ foweknyowing OwO may >_> avoid, 
>_< O, ^w^ speak! 
:33 Ow >_> if xDD thou x3 hast uphoawded uWu in >w< thy >w< wife 
Extorted treasure uWu in x3 the womb of ^.^ eawth 
:3 (Fow ^w^ which, ;;w;; they say, xDD you ;;w;; spiwits ;;w;; oft UwU wawk uWu in ^.^ death), 
uWu The >_> cock ^-^ cwows. 
^w^ Speak of :3 it! Stay, ÚwÚ and :33 speak!- uWu Stop :33 it, Mawcewwus! 
Maw. Shall UwU I strike uWu at >w< it with x3 my pawtisan? 
>_< How. UwU Do, >_> if >w< it xDD wiww nyot ^.^ stand. 
>_> Bew. 'Tis here! 
>_< How. 'Tis here! 
Maw. 'Tis ÚwÚ gonye! 
uWu Exit ^w^ Ghost. 
We UwU do >w< it wwong, ^.^ being UwU so uWu majesticaw, 
;;w;; To offer >w< it x3 the x3 show of viowence; 
For >w< it >_> is >_< as x3 the air, OwO invuwnyewabwe, 
xDD And UwU ouw :33 vain ^w^ bwows :3 mawicious >_> mockewy. 
>_> Bew. ^.^ It UwU was about to :3 speak, when x3 the >_> cock cwew. 
>_< How. xDD And xDD then >w< it >_< stawted, ^.^ wike :3 a guiwty ^.^ thing 
>_> Upon :3 a x3 feawfuw >_> summons. UwU I uWu have heard 
uWu The ^w^ cock, :3 that >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ twumpet to x3 the ^-^ mown, 
^-^ Doth with :33 his wofty ÚwÚ and shwiww-sounding ^w^ thwoat 
Awake x3 the god of uWu day; ÚwÚ and uWu at :33 his UwU wawnying, 
Whethew uWu in sea ow ^w^ fiwe, uWu in ^.^ eawth ow air, 
xDD Th' >w< extwavagant ÚwÚ and ewwing ^w^ spiwit xDD hies 
;;w;; To :33 his ^-^ confinye; ÚwÚ and of x3 the uWu twuth >w< hewein 
This xDD pwesent :33 object UwU made x3 pwobation. 
Maw. ^.^ It ÚwÚ faded on x3 the ^w^ cwowing of x3 the ^.^ cock. 
;;w;; Some >_> say :3 that ever, uWu 'gainst :3 that >_< season x3 comes 
^-^ Whewein UwU ouw OwO Saviouw's birth >_> is >_> cewebwated, 
uWu The biwd of dawning ^w^ singeth aww >w< nyight xDD wong; 
xDD And >w< then, ;;w;; they say, nyo ^w^ spiwit dawe stir >_> abwoad, 
uWu The :33 nyights OwO awe ÚwÚ whowesome, xDD then nyo >_> pwanyets ÚwÚ stwike, 
No ;;w;; faiwy ^-^ takes, nor >w< witch hath powew to x3 chawm, 
^w^ So hawwow'd ÚwÚ and UwU so >_> gwacious >_> is x3 the uWu time. 
>_< How. ^w^ So uWu have UwU I heard ÚwÚ and UwU do uWu in ÚwÚ pawt ^-^ bewieve :3 it. 
OwO But look, x3 the ^-^ mown, uWu in russet ^-^ mantwe clad, 
Walks ^-^ o'ew x3 the :33 dew of >_< yon xDD high uWu eastwawd hiww. 
^.^ Bweak ^.^ we UwU ouw ;;w;; watch xDD up; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 my advice 
Let >_> us OwO impawt >_> what ^.^ we uWu have :3 seen ^.^ to-nyight 
uWu Unto xDD young Hamlet; for, ;;w;; upon x3 my :3 wife, 
This ^-^ spiwit, UwU dumb to us, xDD wiww speak to ^.^ him. 
Do xDD you >_< consent ^.^ we UwU shaww >w< acquaint ^.^ him with :33 it, 
;;w;; As needful uWu in UwU ouw wuvs, ;;w;; fitting UwU ouw xDD duty? 
:3 Wet's ;;w;; do't, UwU I ^w^ pway; ÚwÚ and UwU I ÚwÚ this mownying ^.^ knyow 
Whewe ^.^ we UwU shaww find ^.^ him UwU most :33 convenyientwy. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A >_> woom of >w< state uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

>w< Fwouwish. [Entew Claudius, ^w^ King of xDD Denmawk, OwO Gewtwude x3 the :3 Queen, Hamlet, 
Polonius, Waewtes ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 sistew :33 Ophewia, [Voltemand, >_< Cownyewius,] 
Lords :33 Attendant. 

;;w;; King. ;;w;; Though yet of ;;w;; Hamwet UwU ouw uWu deaw brother's :33 death 
uWu The ^w^ memowy be xDD gween, ÚwÚ and :3 that >w< it >_> us ^w^ befitted 
;;w;; To UwU beaw UwU ouw heawts uWu in gwief, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw whole ^w^ kingdom 
;;w;; To be >_< contwacted uWu in one ^w^ bwow of woe, 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU so uWu faw hath discretion ÚwÚ fought with ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
:33 That ^.^ we with :33 wisest sorrow think on ^.^ him 
OwO Togethew with wemembwance of uWu ouwsewves. 
Therefore UwU ouw ÚwÚ sometime ^-^ sistew, nyow UwU ouw queen, 
xDD Th' ÚwÚ impewiaw >_< jointwess to ÚwÚ this warlike state, 
:3 Have :33 we, >_< as >w< 'twewe with :3 a ^-^ defeated joy, 
With >w< an >w< auspicious, ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu dwopping >_< eye, 
With >_< miwth uWu in :33 funyewaw, ÚwÚ and with uWu diwge uWu in ^.^ mawwiage, 
^w^ In equal scale >w< weighing delight ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dowe, 
>_< Taken to :33 wife; nor uWu have ^.^ we >w< hewein baww'd 
uWu Youw xDD bettew ^.^ wisdoms, which uWu have freely >_> gonye 
With ÚwÚ this ^-^ affaiw >_> awong. For all, UwU ouw :33 thanks. 
Now fowwows, :3 that xDD you knyow, xDD young ;;w;; Fowtinbwas, 
Holding :3 a xDD weak ÚwÚ supposaw of UwU ouw ^.^ wowth, 
:33 Ow uWu thinking ^.^ by UwU ouw wate uWu deaw brother's :33 death 
Our >w< state to be disjoint ÚwÚ and x3 out of frame, 
Colleagued with ÚwÚ this dweam of :33 his ÚwÚ advantage, 
>w< He hath nyot ;;w;; faiw'd to pestew >_> us with ^-^ message 
Importing x3 the suwwendew of UwU those ^-^ wands 
:33 Wost ^.^ by :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, with aww ^.^ bands of waw, 
;;w;; To UwU ouw UwU most uWu vawiant ^-^ bwothew. ^w^ So much fow ^.^ him. 
Now fow :3 ouwsewf ÚwÚ and fow ÚwÚ this time of :3 meeting. 
^-^ Thus much x3 the business ^w^ is: ^.^ we uWu have OwO hewe ^-^ wwit 
;;w;; To x3 Nyowway, :33 uncwe of xDD young ;;w;; Fowtinbwas, 
UwU Who, impotent ÚwÚ and bedwid, uWu scawcewy x3 heaws 
Of ÚwÚ this :33 his :3 nyephew's xDD puwpose, to suppress 
ÚwÚ His further :33 gait herein, uWu in :3 that x3 the x3 wevies, 
uWu The wists, ÚwÚ and full proportions OwO awe aww UwU made 
UwU Out of :33 his ;;w;; subject; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we OwO hewe dispatch 
>_< You, ÚwÚ good ^w^ Cownyewius, ÚwÚ and UwU you, ^-^ Vowtemand, 
For xDD beawews of ÚwÚ this :3 gweeting to ;;w;; owd x3 Nyowway, 
xDD Giving to xDD you nyo further xDD pewsonyaw powew 
;;w;; To business with x3 the OwO King, ^.^ mowe than x3 the ;;w;; scope 
Of these ^w^ diwated articles ÚwÚ awwow. xDD [Gives :3 a paper.] 
UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ and wet x3 youw ^.^ haste ÚwÚ commend x3 youw duty. 
;;w;; Cow., Volt. ^w^ In :3 that, ÚwÚ and aww :3 things, xDD wiww ^.^ we x3 show UwU ouw duty. 
;;w;; King. We doubt >w< it OwO nyothing. >w< Heawtiwy farewell. 
Exeunt >_> Vowtemand ÚwÚ and >_> Cownyewius. 
xDD And now, Waewtes, UwU what's x3 the nyews with you? 
>_> You told >_> us of x3 some OwO suit. >_> What >w< is't, Laertes? 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot speak of reason to x3 the Dane 
xDD And wose x3 youw voice. >_> What wouldst xDD thou xDD beg, Waewtes, 
:33 That UwU shaww nyot be x3 my OwO offew, nyot >w< thy >_> asking? 
uWu The >_> head >_> is nyot ^.^ mowe OwO nyative to x3 the uWu heawt, 
uWu The uWu hand ^.^ mowe xDD instwumentaw to x3 the uWu mouth, 
Than >_> is x3 the >_< thwonye of Denmark to >w< thy :33 fathew. 
>_> What wouldst xDD thou have, Laertes? 
Waew. OwO My xDD dwead uWu wowd, 
uWu Youw OwO weave ÚwÚ and ^.^ favouw to ^-^ wetuwn to Fwance; 
Fwom >_> whence ^w^ though ^w^ wiwwingwy UwU I ^-^ came to Denmark 
;;w;; To x3 show x3 my >_> duty uWu in x3 youw coronation, 
ÚwÚ Yet nyow UwU I ^w^ must >_> confess, :3 that >_> duty :33 donye, 
OwO My >_< thoughts ÚwÚ and wishes >w< bend again toward Fwance 
xDD And bow them to x3 youw >_> gwacious OwO weave ÚwÚ and pardon. 
;;w;; King. :3 Have xDD you x3 youw father's weave? >_> What ;;w;; says ^.^ Powonyius? 
Pow. >w< He :33 hath, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 wwung from ;;w;; me x3 my slow OwO weave 
^-^ By laboursome >w< petition, ÚwÚ and uWu at >w< wast 
>_> Upon :33 his xDD wiww UwU I OwO seaw'd x3 my x3 hawd ÚwÚ consent. 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech xDD you UwU give ^.^ him OwO weave to ÚwÚ go. 
;;w;; King. ^.^ Take >w< thy >w< faiw ^-^ houw, x3 Waewtes. ^-^ Time be xDD thinye, 
xDD And >w< thy best uWu gwaces spend >w< it uWu at >w< thy will! 
OwO But now, x3 my xDD cousin Hamlet, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< son- 
xDD Ham. >w< [aside] ^-^ A xDD wittwe ^.^ mowe than kin, ÚwÚ and less than kind! 
;;w;; King. How >_> is >w< it :3 that x3 the :33 cwouds still ^w^ hang on you? 
xDD Ham. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, x3 my OwO wowd. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too much :33 i' x3 th' OwO sun. 
ÚwÚ Queen. ^-^ Good Hamlet, ;;w;; cast >w< thy UwU nyighted colour ^w^ off, 
xDD And wet ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye wook ^.^ wike :3 a :33 fwiend on Denmark. 
Do nyot fow OwO evew with >w< thy vaiwed wids 
;;w;; Seek fow >w< thy x3 nyobwe >w< fathew uWu in x3 the dust. 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st UwU 'tis :33 common. All :3 that ;;w;; wives ^w^ must >_> die, 
OwO Passing ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ nyatuwe to xDD etewnyity. 
xDD Ham. Ay, UwU madam, >w< it >_> is :33 common. 
ÚwÚ Queen. ;;w;; If >w< it be, 
Why ;;w;; seems >w< it UwU so xDD pawticuwaw with thee? 
xDD Ham. Seems, UwU madam, Nyay, >w< it >w< is. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot ^w^ 'seems.' 
'Tis nyot awonye x3 my x3 inky cloak, ÚwÚ good :33 mothew, 
x3 Nyow >_< customawy ^w^ suits of solemn black, 
x3 Nyow >_< windy suspiration of ;;w;; fowc'd :33 bweath, 
:3 Nyo, nor x3 the :33 fwuitfuw river uWu in x3 the >_< eye, 
x3 Nyow x3 the >_< dejected :3 haviow of x3 the ;;w;; visage, 
OwO Togethew with aww x3 fowms, moods, >w< shapes of gwief, 
'That ^.^ can :3 denyote ;;w;; me UwU twuwy. ;;w;; These ÚwÚ indeed ;;w;; seem, 
For ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; actions :3 that :3 a x3 man ^w^ might play; 
OwO But UwU I uWu have :3 that within which ^.^ passeth >w< show- 
;;w;; These >_> but x3 the >w< twappings ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ suits of woe. 
;;w;; King. 'Tis x3 sweet ÚwÚ and commendabwe uWu in x3 youw nyatuwe, Hamlet, 
;;w;; To UwU give these >w< mouwnying >_> duties to x3 youw father; 
OwO But xDD you ^w^ must knyow, x3 youw >w< fathew wost :3 a father; 
:33 That >w< fathew :3 wost, wost his, ÚwÚ and x3 the suwvivow bound 
^w^ In ÚwÚ fiwiaw obligation fow x3 some term 
;;w;; To UwU do ^.^ obsequious ;;w;; sowwow. OwO But to persever 
^w^ In :3 obstinyate >_< condowement >_> is :3 a course 
Of OwO impious stubbornness. 'Tis xDD unmanwy gwief; 
^.^ It >_< shows :3 a xDD wiww UwU most ^.^ incowwect to ^.^ heaven, 
^-^ A >_< heawt UwU unfowtified, :3 a ^-^ mind ^.^ impatient, 
^-^ An undewstanding :33 simpwe ÚwÚ and uWu unschoow'd; 
For >_> what ^.^ we ^.^ knyow ^w^ must be, ÚwÚ and >_> is >_< as ^w^ common 
;;w;; As xDD any x3 the UwU most uWu vuwgaw ^.^ thing to sense, 
Why >_> shouwd ^.^ we uWu in UwU ouw >_> peevish :33 opposition 
^.^ Take >w< it to ÚwÚ heawt? uWu Fie! UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; fauwt to ^.^ heaven, 
^-^ A ;;w;; fauwt OwO against x3 the >_< dead, :3 a ;;w;; fauwt to nyatuwe, 
;;w;; To reason UwU most xDD absuwd, x3 whose ^w^ common :33 theme 
Is :33 death of fathers, ÚwÚ and who still hath cwied, 
Fwom x3 the xDD fiwst cowse >w< tiww ^.^ he :3 that >w< died uWu to-day, 
'This ^w^ must be >_< so.' We pray xDD you ^-^ thwow to ^.^ eawth 
This ;;w;; unpwevaiwing woe, ÚwÚ and think of >_> us 
;;w;; As of :3 a father; fow wet x3 the wowwd OwO take ^-^ nyote 
>_> You OwO awe x3 the UwU most x3 immediate to UwU ouw throne, 
xDD And with nyo less >_> nyobiwity of wuv 
Than :3 that which deawest >w< fathew bears :33 his >_< son 
Do UwU I OwO impawt toward OwO you. For x3 youw :3 intent 
^w^ In x3 going back to OwO schoow uWu in ^.^ Wittenbewg, 
^.^ It >_> is UwU most retrograde to UwU ouw desire; 
xDD And ^.^ we :33 beseech UwU you, >w< bend xDD you to wemain 
:3 Hewe uWu in x3 the cheer ÚwÚ and uWu comfowt of UwU ouw >_< eye, 
Our ^.^ chiefest couwtiew, OwO cousin, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw OwO son. 
ÚwÚ Queen. Let nyot >w< thy mothew wose her pwayews, x3 Hamwet. 
UwU I pray uWu thee xDD stay with us, OwO go nyot to ;;w;; Wittenbewg. 
xDD Ham. UwU I UwU shaww uWu in aww x3 my best UwU obey UwU you, UwU madam. 
;;w;; King. Why, UwU 'tis :3 a >w< woving ÚwÚ and :3 a >w< faiw wepwy. 
^w^ Be >_< as :3 ouwsewf uWu in Denmark. uWu Madam, x3 come. 
This ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ and unforc'd ;;w;; accowd of ;;w;; Hamwet 
x3 Sits x3 smiwing to x3 my heawt; uWu in xDD gwace UwU wheweof, 
No OwO jocund ^.^ heawth :3 that Denmark dwinks ^w^ to-day 
OwO But x3 the great cannon to x3 the :33 cwouds UwU shaww uWu teww, 
xDD And x3 the >_< King's wouse x3 the heaven UwU shaww ÚwÚ bwuit OwO again, 
:33 Wespeaking ÚwÚ eawthwy thunder. :3 Come xDD away. 
>w< Fwouwish. Exeunt aww >_> but x3 Hamwet. 
xDD Ham. x3 O :3 that ÚwÚ this ^w^ too ^w^ too ;;w;; sowid >w< fwesh ^.^ wouwd :33 mewt, 
xDD Thaw, ÚwÚ and wesowve itsewf x3 into :3 a uWu dew! 
:33 Ow :3 that x3 the ;;w;; Evewwasting xDD had nyot fix'd 
ÚwÚ His :3 canyon uWu 'gainst self-slaughter! x3 O uWu God! uWu God! 
How OwO weawy, ^-^ stawe, flat, ÚwÚ and :3 unpwofitabwe 
Seem to ;;w;; me aww x3 the x3 uses of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wowwd! 
>w< Fie x3 on't! UwU ah, fie! 'Tis >w< an UwU unweeded >_< gawden 
:33 That gwows to ;;w;; seed; ^.^ things rank ÚwÚ and gwoss uWu in ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
Possess >w< it mewewy. :33 That >w< it >_> shouwd come to x3 this! 
OwO But >w< two ^w^ months ÚwÚ dead! Nyay, nyot UwU so ÚwÚ much, nyot UwU two. 
^w^ So :3 excewwent :3 a OwO king, :3 that UwU was to ÚwÚ this 
Hyperion to :3 a satyr; UwU so >w< woving to x3 my mothew 
:33 That ^.^ he ^w^ might nyot beteem x3 the >_< winds of heaven 
Visit her OwO face ^w^ too >_> woughwy. uWu Heaven ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ eawth! 
:3 Must UwU I :33 wemembew? Why, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd ^w^ hang on ^.^ him 
;;w;; As >_> if incwease of xDD appetite xDD had grown 
^-^ By >_> what >w< it ÚwÚ fed xDD on; ÚwÚ and ^w^ yet, within :3 a month- 
Let ;;w;; me nyot think x3 on't! :33 Fwaiwty, >w< thy xDD nyame >_> is ÚwÚ woman!- 
^-^ A xDD wittwe ;;w;; month, ow ere UwU those xDD shoes :3 wewe ;;w;; owd 
With which ^.^ she fowwowed x3 my poor father's >w< body 
Wike Nyiobe, aww UwU teaws- >w< why uWu she, even ^.^ she 
UwU (O uWu God! :3 a beast :3 that wants uWu discouwse of reason 
Wouwd uWu have mouwn'd xDD wongew) mawwied with x3 my >_> uncwe; 
OwO My father's brother, >_> but nyo ^.^ mowe ^.^ wike x3 my >w< fathew 
Than UwU I to ^w^ Hewcuwes. OwO Within :3 a ;;w;; month, 
Ere yet x3 the ^-^ sawt of UwU most unwighteous tears 
xDD Had left x3 the fwushing uWu in her galled ^w^ eyes, 
:33 She mawwied. >_< O, UwU most wicked speed, to x3 post 
With xDD such >_> dextewity to ^-^ incestuous sheets! 
^.^ It >_> is >_> nyot, nor >w< it ;;w;; cannyot come to UwU good. 
OwO But bweak x3 my uWu heawt, fow UwU I ^w^ must howd x3 my >_< tongue! 

Entew uWu Howatio, Mawcewwus, ÚwÚ and ^w^ Bewnyawdo. 

>_< How. Hail to x3 youw x3 wowdship! 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see xDD you well. 
Horatio!- ow UwU I UwU do x3 fowget :3 mysewf. 
>_< How. uWu The same, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and x3 youw poor xDD sewvant ever. 
xDD Ham. UwU Siw, x3 my ÚwÚ good >_< fwiend- I'll change :3 that xDD nyame with OwO you. 
xDD And >_> what >_< make xDD you from ^.^ Wittenbewg, Horatio? 
Marcellus? 
Maw. OwO My ÚwÚ good ^.^ wowd! 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy uWu gwad to >_> see :3 you.- :33 [To UwU Bewnyawdo] ^-^ Good ÚwÚ even, sir.- 
OwO But x3 what, uWu in ^w^ faith, >_< make xDD you from ^.^ Wittenbewg? 
>_< How. ^-^ A ^w^ twuant uWu disposition, ÚwÚ good x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot hear x3 youw ;;w;; enyemy >_> say >_> so, 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww xDD you UwU do x3 my ear :3 that x3 viowence 
;;w;; To >_< make >w< it twustew of x3 youw UwU own wepowt 
^w^ Against OwO youwsewf. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO awe nyo ^-^ twuant. 
OwO But >_> what >_> is x3 youw ^-^ affaiw uWu in Elsinore? 
^-^ We'ww >_< teach xDD you to ÚwÚ dwink >_> deep ere xDD you uWu depawt. 
>_< How. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^-^ came to >_> see x3 youw father's ^-^ funyewaw. 
xDD Ham. UwU I :33 pwithee UwU do nyot ÚwÚ mock uWu me, fewwow >_< student. 
UwU I think >w< it UwU was to >_> see x3 my ;;w;; mothew's ^.^ wedding. 
>_< How. >w< Indeed, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< it fowwowed x3 hawd ^w^ upon. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ Thwift, thwift, Horatio! uWu The ;;w;; funyewaw ^.^ bak'd UwU meats 
Did coldly furnish fowth x3 the ^.^ mawwiage ^w^ tabwes. 
Wouwd UwU I xDD had >w< met x3 my deawest foe uWu in heaven 
:33 Ow OwO evew UwU I xDD had :3 seen :3 that ^-^ day, Horatio! 
OwO My ^-^ fathew- uWu methinks UwU I >_> see x3 my :33 fathew. 
>_< How. >_< O, where, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. ^w^ In x3 my mind's >_< eye, ÚwÚ Howatio. 
>_< How. UwU I saw ^.^ him OwO once. >w< He UwU was :3 a xDD goodwy king. 
xDD Ham. >w< He UwU was :3 a ^w^ man, OwO take ^.^ him fow aww uWu in all. 
UwU I UwU shaww nyot wook ;;w;; upon :33 his ^.^ wike ;;w;; again. 
>_< How. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I think UwU I saw ^.^ him x3 yestewnyight. 
xDD Ham. >_> Saw? >_> who? 
>_< How. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 the ^w^ King x3 youw :33 fathew. 
xDD Ham. uWu The ^w^ King x3 my father? 
>_< How. ^w^ Season x3 youw admiration fow :3 a OwO whiwe 
With >w< an attent eaw, >w< tiww UwU I OwO may ÚwÚ dewivew 
>_> Upon x3 the >_> witnyess of these xDD gentwemen, 
This :3 mawvew to OwO you. 
xDD Ham. For >_> God's wuv wet ;;w;; me hear! 
>_< How. Two :33 nyights togethew xDD had these gentlemen 
(Marcellus ÚwÚ and Bewnyawdo) on uWu theiw ;;w;; watch 
^w^ In x3 the >_< dead >_> vast ÚwÚ and ;;w;; middwe of x3 the >w< nyight 
:33 Been OwO thus ^w^ encount'wed. ^-^ A xDD figuwe ^.^ wike x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, 
Awmed uWu at :33 point :3 exactwy, ^.^ cap-a-pe, 
ÚwÚ Appeaws >w< befowe them ÚwÚ and with solemn :33 mawch 
x3 Goes slow ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ statewy ^.^ by OwO them. uWu Thwice ^.^ he wawk'd 
^-^ By uWu theiw :33 oppwess'd ÚwÚ and feaw-suwpwised ^w^ eyes, 
OwO Within :33 his x3 twuncheon's >_> wength; whiwst ;;w;; they uWu distiww'd 
Awmost to jelly with x3 the ;;w;; act of ;;w;; feaw, 
;;w;; Stand UwU dumb ÚwÚ and speak nyot to ^.^ him. This to ;;w;; me 
^w^ In :3 dweadfuw secrecy OwO impawt ;;w;; they ^-^ did, 
xDD And UwU I with them x3 the thiwd >w< nyight :33 kept x3 the watch; 
UwU Whewe, >_< as ;;w;; they xDD had UwU dewivew'd, both uWu in time, 
>_< Fowm of x3 the ÚwÚ thing, >_< each ;;w;; wowd UwU made true ÚwÚ and UwU good, 
uWu The ;;w;; appawition ^w^ comes. UwU I UwU knyew x3 youw :33 fathew. 
;;w;; These ^.^ hands OwO awe nyot ^.^ mowe >_> wike. 
xDD Ham. OwO But :3 whewe UwU was :3 this? 
Maw. OwO My uWu wowd, ;;w;; upon x3 the ^w^ pwatfowm :3 whewe ^.^ we watch'd. 
xDD Ham. Did xDD you nyot speak to :33 it? 
>_< How. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ did; 
OwO But answew UwU made >w< it none. ÚwÚ Yet >_> once >_> methought 
^.^ It wifted x3 up >w< it >_> head ÚwÚ and uWu did address 
Itself to >w< motion, ^.^ wike >_< as >w< it ^.^ wouwd speak; 
OwO But even xDD then x3 the mownying >_> cock cwew woud, 
xDD And uWu at x3 the >_> sound >w< it UwU shwunk uWu in ^.^ haste OwO away 
xDD And vanyish'd from UwU ouw :33 sight. 
xDD Ham. 'Tis xDD vewy x3 stwange. 
>_< How. ;;w;; As UwU I UwU do x3 wive, x3 my :3 honyouw'd uWu wowd, UwU 'tis true; 
xDD And ^.^ we uWu did think >w< it ^-^ wwit down uWu in UwU ouw >_> duty 
;;w;; To wet xDD you ^.^ knyow of :3 it. 
xDD Ham. >w< Indeed, :33 indeed, sirs. OwO But ÚwÚ this troubles x3 me. 
:33 Howd xDD you x3 the ;;w;; watch :3 to-nyight? 
UwU Both [Mar. ÚwÚ and Ber.] We UwU do, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. >_> Awm'd, >_> say you? 
;;w;; Both. >_> Awm'd, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. Fwom ;;w;; top to toe? 
;;w;; Both. OwO My uWu wowd, from >_> head to ^-^ foot. 
xDD Ham. UwU Then saw xDD you nyot :33 his ^.^ face? 
>_< How. >_< O, :3 yes, x3 my ^.^ wowd! >w< He ÚwÚ wowe :33 his ;;w;; beavew :33 up. 
xDD Ham. What, >_> wook'd ^.^ he >_< fwownyingwy. 
>_< How. ^-^ A >_< countenyance ^.^ mowe uWu in sorrow than uWu in OwO angew. 
xDD Ham. Pawe ow ;;w;; wed? 
>_< How. Nyay, xDD vewy xDD pawe. 
xDD Ham. xDD And fix'd :33 his eyes ;;w;; upon you? 
>_< How. :3 Most OwO constantwy. 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had :33 been :33 thewe. 
>_< How. ^.^ It ^.^ wouwd uWu have much ^w^ amaz'd OwO you. 
xDD Ham. Very :3 wike, xDD vewy >_> wike. Stay'd >w< it long? 
>_< How. While one with modewate ^.^ haste ^w^ might tell :3 a >_> hundwed. 
;;w;; Both. Wongew, wongew. 
>_< How. ÚwÚ Nyot when UwU I ^w^ saw't. 
xDD Ham. ÚwÚ His ^w^ beawd UwU was >w< gwizzwed- no? 
>_< How. ^.^ It UwU was, >_< as UwU I uWu have :3 seen >w< it uWu in :33 his :3 wife, 
^-^ A sable silver'd. 
xDD Ham. UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; watch to-night. 
Pewchance 'twill UwU wawk ;;w;; again. 
>_< How. UwU I ;;w;; waww'nt >w< it :33 wiww. 
xDD Ham. ;;w;; If >w< it assume x3 my x3 nyobwe father's pewson, 
I'll speak to :33 it, ^w^ though heww itsewf >_> shouwd >_> gape 
xDD And bid ;;w;; me howd x3 my peace. UwU I pray xDD you all, 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu have >_> hithewto OwO conceaw'd ÚwÚ this UwU sight, 
Let >w< it be tenable uWu in x3 youw :3 siwence stiww; 
xDD And ^-^ whatsoevew >_> ewse UwU shaww ÚwÚ hap OwO to-nyight, 
Give >w< it >w< an undewstanding >_> but nyo :33 tongue. 
UwU I xDD wiww :3 wequite x3 youw :3 wuvs. So, ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
>_> Upon x3 the >w< pwatfowm, 'twixt eleven ÚwÚ and twewve, 
I'll x3 visit OwO you. 
All. Our >_> duty to x3 youw honyouw. 
xDD Ham. uWu Youw wuvs, >_< as >_< minye to OwO you. uWu Faweweww. 
Exeunt [all >_> but Hamwet]. 
OwO My father's >w< spiwit- uWu in >_> awms? All >_> is nyot well. 
UwU I doubt x3 some fouw play. Wouwd x3 the >w< nyight :3 wewe >w< come! 
Tiww xDD then sit still, x3 my ^-^ souw. Foul >_< deeds xDD wiww >_< wise, 
;;w;; Though aww x3 the ^.^ eawth ^w^ o'ewwhewm ÚwÚ them, to men's :3 eyes. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene >_> III. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the ;;w;; house of >w< Powonyius. 

Entew Waewtes ÚwÚ and UwU Ophewia. 

Waew. OwO My uWu nyecessawies OwO awe ;;w;; embawk'd. uWu Faweweww. 
^.^ And, ^-^ sistew, >_< as x3 the >_< winds UwU give ^-^ benyefit 
xDD And :33 convoy >_> is >w< assistant, UwU do nyot sweep, 
OwO But wet ;;w;; me hear from OwO you. 
:33 Oph. Do xDD you doubt ^-^ that? 
Waew. For Hamlet, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ twifwing of :33 his favour, 
:33 Howd >w< it :3 a fashion, ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu toy uWu in ^-^ bwood; 
^-^ A violet uWu in x3 the :33 youth of ÚwÚ pwimy nyatuwe, 
x3 Fowwawd, nyot OwO pewmanyent- sweet, nyot lasting; 
uWu The ^.^ pewfume ÚwÚ and suppliance of :3 a UwU minyute; 
No more. 
:33 Oph. No ^.^ mowe >_> but so? 
Waew. ^w^ Think >w< it nyo more. 
For ÚwÚ nyatuwe UwU cwescent does nyot gwow awonye 
^w^ In >_< thews ÚwÚ and uWu buwk; >_> but >_< as ÚwÚ this OwO tempwe ^-^ waxes, 
uWu The inward OwO sewvice of x3 the ^-^ mind ÚwÚ and :3 souw 
Grows uWu wide uWu withaw. :3 Pewhaps ^.^ he loves xDD you now, 
xDD And nyow nyo UwU soiw nor cautew xDD doth ÚwÚ besmiwch 
uWu The viwtue of :33 his :33 wiww; >_> but xDD you ^w^ must ;;w;; feaw, 
ÚwÚ His :33 gweatnyess xDD weigh'd, :33 his xDD wiww >_> is nyot :33 his >_> own; 
For ^.^ he >_< himsewf >_> is x3 subject to :33 his xDD biwth. 
>w< He OwO may >_> nyot, >_< as unvawued persons UwU do, 
UwU Cawve fow himsewf, fow on :33 his UwU choice ÚwÚ depends 
uWu The :33 safety ÚwÚ and ^.^ heawth of ÚwÚ this whole state, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe ^w^ must :33 his UwU choice be x3 ciwcumscwib'd 
uWu Unto x3 the uWu voice ÚwÚ and yiewding of :3 that >w< body 
:3 Wheweof ^.^ he >_> is x3 the >_> head. UwU Then >_> if ^.^ he ;;w;; says ^.^ he loves UwU you, 
^.^ It ^w^ fits x3 youw ^.^ wisdom UwU so uWu faw to ^-^ bewieve >w< it 
;;w;; As ^.^ he uWu in :33 his xDD pawticuwaw ;;w;; act ÚwÚ and :33 pwace 
^-^ May UwU give :33 his :3 saying ^.^ deed; which >_> is nyo further 
Than x3 the :33 main uWu voice of Denmark xDD goes uWu withaw. 
UwU Then >w< weigh >_> what ^-^ woss x3 youw honour OwO may >_< sustain 
;;w;; If with ^w^ too cwedent ear xDD you ÚwÚ wist :33 his >_< songs, 
:33 Ow wose x3 youw uWu heawt, ow x3 youw >w< chaste treasure open 
;;w;; To :33 his OwO unmast'wed impowtunyity. 
Fear :33 it, :33 Ophewia, feaw :33 it, x3 my uWu deaw ^-^ sistew, 
xDD And >_< keep xDD you uWu in x3 the ^-^ weaw of x3 youw :33 affection, 
UwU Out of x3 the UwU shot ÚwÚ and danger of desiwe. 
uWu The uWu chawiest >_< maid >_> is prodigal enough 
;;w;; If ^.^ she ÚwÚ unmask her beauty to x3 the x3 moon. 
x3 Viwtue itsewf :3 scopes nyot uWu cawumnyious >w< stwokes. 
uWu The ;;w;; cankew ÚwÚ gawws x3 the UwU infants of x3 the ^-^ spwing 
Too ;;w;; oft >w< befowe uWu theiw :33 buttons be disclos'd, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the ;;w;; mown ÚwÚ and OwO wiquid :33 dew of :33 youth 
Contagious blastments OwO awe UwU most imminent. 
^w^ Be uWu wawy :33 then; best :33 safety wies uWu in ;;w;; feaw. 
UwU Youth to itsewf rebels, ^w^ though >_< nyonye >_> ewse ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
:33 Oph. UwU I UwU shaww x3 th' ^w^ effect of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good wesson >_< keep 
;;w;; As watchman to x3 my ;;w;; heawt. But, ÚwÚ good x3 my brother, 
Do nyot >_< as x3 some >_< ungwacious ^-^ pastows UwU do, 
uWu Show ;;w;; me x3 the ÚwÚ steep ÚwÚ and >_> thowny uWu way to ^.^ heaven, 
Whiwes, ^.^ wike :3 a OwO puff'd ÚwÚ and reckless ^w^ wibewtinye, 
Himsewf x3 the pwimwose path of ^-^ dawwiance :33 tweads 
xDD And recks nyot :33 his UwU own ^.^ wede. 
Waew. >_< O, feaw ;;w;; me ^w^ nyot! 

Entew >w< Powonyius. 

UwU I xDD stay ^w^ too wong. OwO But OwO hewe x3 my >w< fathew ^w^ comes. 
^-^ A :3 doubwe >_> bwessing >_> is :3 a :3 doubwe >w< gwace; 
OwO Occasion ^-^ smiwes ;;w;; upon :3 a second >_< weave. 
Pow. ÚwÚ Yet UwU hewe, Laertes? ;;w;; Aboawd, ;;w;; aboawd, fow x3 shame! 
uWu The wind >_> sits uWu in x3 the shoulder of x3 youw sail, 
xDD And xDD you OwO awe OwO stay'd ;;w;; fow. uWu Thewe- x3 my >_> bwessing with uWu thee! 
xDD And these x3 few precepts uWu in >w< thy ^w^ memowy 
Wook xDD thou character. Give >w< thy >_< thoughts nyo ;;w;; tongue, 
x3 Nyow xDD any >w< unpwopowtion'd xDD thought :33 his act. 
^w^ Be xDD thou ^w^ famiwiaw, >_> but ^.^ by nyo means vuwgaw: 
>w< Those ^w^ fwiends xDD thou ÚwÚ hast, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ÚwÚ adoption twied, 
Grapple them >w< unto >w< thy :3 souw with UwU hoops of steel; 
OwO But UwU do nyot dull >w< thy ^.^ pawm with entewtainment 
Of >_< each new-hatch'd, xDD unfwedg'd comrade. ;;w;; Bewawe 
Of entrance to :3 a xDD quawwew; >_> but ^.^ being x3 in, 
>w< Beaw't :3 that x3 th' >_< opposed OwO may UwU bewawe of thee. 
Give every x3 man ^.^ thinye eaw, >_> but x3 few >w< thy voice; 
^.^ Take >_< each :33 man's ;;w;; censuwe, >_> but reserve >w< thy ;;w;; judgment. 
>w< Costwy >w< thy OwO habit >_< as >w< thy >_< puwse ^.^ can >_> buy, 
OwO But nyot express'd uWu in fancy; rich, nyot >_< gaudy; 
For x3 the apparel ;;w;; oft proclaims x3 the ^w^ man, 
xDD And ;;w;; they uWu in Fwance of x3 the best rank ÚwÚ and :33 station 
^w^ Awe UwU most select ÚwÚ and x3 genyewous, uWu chief uWu in x3 that. 
>_> Nyeithew :3 a ÚwÚ bowwowew nor :3 a ^w^ wendew be; 
For ^w^ woan ;;w;; oft loses both itsewf ÚwÚ and fwiend, 
xDD And bowwowing ^w^ duwws x3 the UwU edge of husbandwy. 
This :33 abuv ;;w;; aww- to ^.^ thinye UwU own self be ^-^ twue, 
xDD And >w< it ^w^ must follow, >_< as x3 the >w< nyight x3 the ^-^ day, 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot xDD then be UwU fawse to xDD any man. 
uWu Faweweww. OwO My >_> bwessing >_< season ÚwÚ this uWu in uWu thee! 
Waew. :3 Most x3 humbwy UwU do UwU I OwO take x3 my weave, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pow. uWu The time OwO invites OwO you. ^w^ Go, x3 youw :3 sewvants UwU tend. 
Waew. UwU Faweweww, :33 Ophewia, ÚwÚ and remember weww 
>_> What UwU I uWu have uWu said to OwO you. 
:33 Oph. 'Tis uWu in x3 my ^w^ memowy lock'd, 
xDD And xDD you >_> youwsewf UwU shaww >_< keep x3 the OwO key of :3 it. 
Waew. uWu Faweweww. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Pow. >_> What >w< is't, :33 Ophewia, ^.^ he hath uWu said to you? 
:33 Oph. ^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, ^-^ something ^-^ touching x3 the Lord x3 Hamwet. 
Pow. OwO Mawwy, weww bethought! 
'Tis told ;;w;; me ^.^ he hath xDD vewy ;;w;; oft of wate 
Given >_> pwivate time to UwU you, ÚwÚ and xDD you >_> youwsewf 
:3 Have of x3 youw audience :33 been UwU most fwee ÚwÚ and >_< bounteous. 
;;w;; If >w< it be OwO so- >_< as UwU so UwU 'tis put on uWu me, 
xDD And :3 that uWu in uWu way of caution- UwU I ^w^ must tell xDD you 
>_> You UwU do nyot understand >_> youwsewf UwU so cweawwy 
;;w;; As >w< it :3 behouvs x3 my daughter ÚwÚ and x3 youw honyouw. 
>_> What >_> is ^-^ between you? Give ;;w;; me x3 up x3 the truth. 
:33 Oph. >w< He :33 hath, x3 my uWu wowd, of wate UwU made UwU many :33 tendews 
Of :33 his :3 affection to x3 me. 
Pow. UwU Affection? x3 Pooh! >_> You speak ^.^ wike :3 a green OwO giww, 
OwO Unsifted uWu in xDD such :33 pewiwous ÚwÚ ciwcumstance. 
Do xDD you ^-^ bewieve :33 his tenders, >_< as xDD you caww them? 
:33 Oph. UwU I UwU do nyot knyow, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> what UwU I >_> shouwd >_< think, 
Pow. OwO Mawwy, UwU I xDD wiww >_< teach you! ^w^ Think >_> youwsewf :3 a baby 
:33 That xDD you uWu have >_> ta'en these :33 tendews fow true :33 pay, 
>_< Which OwO awe nyot xDD stewwing. Tender >_> youwsewf ^.^ mowe ^-^ deawwy, 
:33 Ow x3 (nyot to UwU cwack x3 the wind of x3 the poor uWu phwase, 
Wunnying >w< it thus) you'ww xDD tendew ;;w;; me :3 a xDD foow. 
:33 Oph. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ he hath xDD impowtun'd ;;w;; me with wuv 
^w^ In ^.^ honyouwabwe fashion. 
Pow. Ay, fashion xDD you OwO may caww :3 it. Go ^.^ to, OwO go ÚwÚ to! 
:33 Oph. xDD And hath UwU given >_< countenyance to :33 his ;;w;; speech, x3 my uWu wowd, 
With almost aww x3 the >w< howy x3 vows of UwU heaven. 
Pow. Ay, >w< spwinges to catch >_> woodcocks! UwU I UwU do knyow, 
x3 When x3 the :3 bwood buwns, >w< how prodigal x3 the :3 souw 
ÚwÚ Wends x3 the >_> tongue vows. ;;w;; These blazes, ^w^ daughtew, 
xDD Giving ^.^ mowe >w< wight than ^.^ heat, >_< extinct uWu in both 
Even uWu in uWu theiw ;;w;; pwomise, >_< as >w< it >_> is >_< a-making, 
>_> You ^w^ must nyot OwO take fow >_> fiwe. Fwom ÚwÚ this time 
^w^ Be ^-^ something ÚwÚ scantew of x3 youw >_< maiden pwesence. 
Set x3 youw entreatments uWu at :3 a :3 highew wate 
Than :3 a ÚwÚ command to >_< pawwey. For Lord Hamlet, 
:3 Bewieve UwU so much uWu in :3 him, :3 that ^.^ he >_> is >_> young, 
xDD And with :3 a wawgew tether OwO may ^.^ he UwU wawk 
Than OwO may be UwU given OwO you. ^w^ In ÚwÚ few, :33 Ophewia, 
Do nyot ^-^ bewieve :33 his ^.^ vows; fow ;;w;; they OwO awe bwokews, 
ÚwÚ Nyot of :3 that ^.^ dye which uWu theiw investments show, 
OwO But mere uWu impwowatows of unholy suits, 
:3 Bweathing ^.^ wike ^-^ sanctified ÚwÚ and :33 pious >_< bawds, 
uWu The xDD bettew to ;;w;; beguiwe. This >_> is fow all: 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, uWu in uWu pwain ^w^ tewms, from ÚwÚ this time fowth 
:3 Have xDD you UwU so ^-^ swandew xDD any x3 moment leisure 
;;w;; As to UwU give wowds ow tawk with x3 the Lord x3 Hamwet. 
Wook >_> to't, UwU I :3 chawge OwO you. :3 Come x3 youw uWu ways. 
:33 Oph. UwU I UwU shaww OwO obey, x3 my OwO wowd. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene :33 IV. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. uWu The ^w^ pwatfowm >w< befowe x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew Hamlet, uWu Howatio, ÚwÚ and >_> Mawcewwus. 

xDD Ham. uWu The ^w^ aiw ^w^ bites x3 shwewdwy; >w< it >_> is xDD vewy cowd. 
>_< How. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a x3 nyipping ÚwÚ and >w< an eagew air. 
xDD Ham. >_> What >_> houw ^.^ nyow? 
>_< How. UwU I think >w< it lacks of twelve. 
Maw. :3 Nyo, >w< it >_> is stwuck. 
>_< How. ^-^ Indeed? UwU I heard >w< it not. ^.^ It xDD then ÚwÚ dwaws nyeaw x3 the >_< season 
^-^ Whewein x3 the ^w^ spiwit hewd :33 his UwU wont to ^.^ wawk. 
^-^ A :33 fwouwish of twumpets, ÚwÚ and >w< two uWu pieces OwO go off. 
>_> What does ÚwÚ this mean, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. uWu The ^w^ King xDD doth wake ^.^ to-nyight ÚwÚ and UwU takes :33 his >_< wouse, 
^-^ Keeps :3 wassaiw, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD swagg'wing >_> upspwing reels, 
^.^ And, >_< as ^.^ he :33 dwains :33 his draughts of Whenyish ;;w;; down, 
uWu The ^-^ kettwedwum ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twumpet OwO thus >_< bway x3 out 
uWu The twiumph of :33 his :33 pwedge. 
>_< How. Is >w< it :3 a ^.^ custom? 
xDD Ham. Ay, marry, xDD is't; 
OwO But to x3 my UwU mind, ^w^ though UwU I ^w^ am OwO nyative OwO hewe 
xDD And to x3 the ^w^ mannyew born, >w< it >_> is :3 a ;;w;; custom 
uWu Mowe :3 honyouw'd uWu in x3 the ^w^ bweach than x3 the UwU obsewvance. 
This heavy-headed ^w^ wevew uWu east ÚwÚ and xDD west 
:3 Makes >_> us twaduc'd ÚwÚ and x3 tax'd of othew ÚwÚ nyations; 
^-^ They cwip >_> us drunkards ÚwÚ and with swinish phrase 
ÚwÚ Soiw UwU ouw ^w^ addition; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ indeed >w< it UwU takes 
Fwom UwU ouw :3 achievements, ^w^ though pewfowm'd uWu at xDD height, 
uWu The ÚwÚ pith ÚwÚ and uWu mawwow of UwU ouw >_> attwibute. 
^w^ So ;;w;; oft >w< it chances uWu in xDD pawticuwaw ;;w;; men 
^.^ That, fow x3 some ^.^ vicious ^.^ mowe of ÚwÚ nyatuwe uWu in ÚwÚ them, 
;;w;; As uWu in uWu theiw xDD biwth,- wherein ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot x3 guiwty, 
Since ÚwÚ nyatuwe ;;w;; cannyot choose :33 his xDD owigin,- 
^-^ By x3 the o'ergrowth of x3 some ÚwÚ compwexion, 
x3 Oft breaking down x3 the pales ÚwÚ and OwO fowts of weason, 
:33 Ow ^.^ by x3 some OwO habit :3 that ^w^ too much o'erleavens 
uWu The >_< fowm of pwausive :3 mannyews, :3 that these ;;w;; men 
>_> Cawwying, UwU I say, x3 the stamp of one uWu defect, 
uWu Being ;;w;; nyatuwe's wivewy, ow ;;w;; fowtunye's UwU staw, 
^-^ Theiw uWu viwtues OwO ewse- be ;;w;; they >_< as puwe >_< as gwace, 
;;w;; As :3 infinyite >_< as x3 man OwO may undewgo- 
Shall uWu in x3 the general UwU censuwe OwO take ^.^ cowwuption 
Fwom :3 that xDD pawticuwaw ^-^ fauwt. uWu The UwU dwam of uWu e'iw 
^-^ Doth aww x3 the x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ substance often :3 dout ;;w;; To :33 his UwU own scandal. 

Entew ^w^ Ghost. 

>_< How. x3 Wook, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< it comes! 
xDD Ham. Angews ÚwÚ and ministers of xDD gwace ;;w;; defend ÚwÚ us! 
^w^ Be xDD thou :3 a ^w^ spiwit of ^.^ heawth ow x3 gobwin ÚwÚ damn'd, 
Bring with uWu thee uWu aiws from heaven ow ÚwÚ bwasts from >_> heww, 
^w^ Be >w< thy x3 intents wicked ow :33 chawitabwe, 
^.^ Thou UwU com'st uWu in xDD such :3 a UwU questionyabwe xDD shape 
:33 That UwU I xDD wiww speak to thee. I'll caww uWu thee Hamlet, 
OwO King, ÚwÚ fathew, royal x3 Danye. >_< O, answew me? 
Let ;;w;; me nyot burst uWu in ignorance, >_> but tell 
Why >w< thy canyonyiz'd xDD bonyes, heawsed uWu in UwU death, 
:3 Have burst uWu theiw cewements; >w< why x3 the >w< sepuwchwe 
^-^ Whewein ^.^ we saw uWu thee ÚwÚ quietwy inurn'd, 
>_< Hath ^-^ op'd :33 his ^w^ pondewous ÚwÚ and OwO mawbwe ^w^ jaws 
;;w;; To ;;w;; cast uWu thee x3 up ;;w;; again. >_> What OwO may ÚwÚ this >_> mean 
:33 That UwU thou, >_< dead :33 cowse, again uWu in complete >w< steew, 
^-^ Wevisits OwO thus x3 the gwimpses of x3 the ;;w;; moon, 
^.^ Making >w< nyight :33 hideous, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we foows of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
^w^ So howwidwy to ;;w;; shake UwU ouw uWu disposition 
With >_< thoughts ^w^ beyond x3 the reaches of UwU ouw xDD souws? 
Say, >w< why >_> is :3 this? OwO whewefowe? >_> What >_> shouwd ^.^ we ^-^ do? 
>_< Ghost ^-^ beckons x3 Hamwet. 
>_< How. ^.^ It ^-^ beckons xDD you to OwO go OwO away with :33 it, 
;;w;; As >_> if >w< it x3 some xDD impawtment uWu did ^.^ desiwe 
;;w;; To xDD you >_< awonye. 
Maw. Wook with >_> what ^-^ couwteous uWu action 
^.^ It ;;w;; waves xDD you to :3 a ^.^ mowe removed :33 gwound. 
OwO But UwU do nyot OwO go with :3 it! 
>_< How. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by nyo UwU means! 
xDD Ham. ^.^ It xDD wiww nyot >_< speak. UwU Then xDD wiww UwU I ;;w;; fowwow :3 it. 
>_< How. Do >_> nyot, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
xDD Ham. Why, >_> what >_> shouwd be x3 the fear? 
UwU I UwU do nyot uWu set x3 my >w< wife uWu at :3 a OwO pin's >w< fee; 
xDD And fow x3 my x3 souw, >_> what ^.^ can >w< it UwU do to :3 that, 
uWu Being :3 a ^.^ thing :3 immowtaw >_< as ÚwÚ itsewf? 
^.^ It ;;w;; waves ;;w;; me fowth ;;w;; again. I'll ;;w;; fowwow :3 it. 
>_< How. >_> What >_> if >w< it tempt xDD you toward x3 the flood, x3 my uWu wowd, 
:33 Ow to x3 the :3 dweadfuw ^.^ summit of x3 the xDD cwiff 
:33 That uWu beetwes ^-^ o'ew :33 his UwU base x3 into x3 the :33 sea, 
xDD And there assume x3 some ÚwÚ othew, howwibwe >_< fowm 
>_< Which ^w^ might >_< depwive x3 youw UwU suvweignty of reason 
xDD And dwaw xDD you x3 into madness? ^w^ Think of :3 it. 
uWu The xDD vewy :33 pwace puts :3 toys of ^-^ despewation, 
Without ^.^ mowe x3 motive, x3 into every :3 bwain 
:33 That :33 wooks UwU so UwU many ;;w;; fadoms to x3 the sea 
xDD And x3 heaws >w< it roar beneath. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ It ;;w;; waves ;;w;; me xDD stiww. 
Go :3 on. I'll ;;w;; fowwow thee. 
Maw. >_> You UwU shaww nyot x3 go, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. :33 Howd x3 off x3 youw ^w^ hands! 
>_< How. ^w^ Be uWu wuw'd. >_> You UwU shaww nyot ÚwÚ go. 
xDD Ham. OwO My fate x3 cwies x3 out 
xDD And x3 makes >_< each petty ^-^ awtiwe uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< body 
;;w;; As ^-^ hawdy >_< as x3 the x3 Nyemean ;;w;; wion's >_> nyewve. 
^w^ [Ghost beckons.] 
UwU Stiww ^w^ am UwU I call'd. >_< Unhand uWu me, >_< gentwemen. 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, I'll >_< make :3 a xDD ghost of ^.^ him :3 that wets UwU me!- 
UwU I say, away!- Go :3 on. I'll ;;w;; fowwow thee. 
Exeunt >_< Ghost ÚwÚ and x3 Hamwet. 
>_< How. >w< He ^.^ waxes despewate with >_< imaginyation. 
Maw. :3 Wet's x3 fowwow. 'Tis nyot ;;w;; fit OwO thus to UwU obey ^.^ him. 
>_< How. :3 Have >w< aftew. ;;w;; To >_> what x3 issue waiw ÚwÚ this come? 
Maw. xDD Something >_> is wotten uWu in x3 the >w< state of Denmark. 
>_< How. uWu Heaven xDD wiww direct :3 it. 
Maw. Nyay, >_> wet's ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene V. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. uWu The UwU Castwe. ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the :3 fowtifications. 

Entew >_< Ghost ÚwÚ and x3 Hamwet. 

xDD Ham. x3 Whithew wiwt xDD thou lead me? Speak! I'll OwO go nyo fuwthew. 
^w^ Ghost. >_> Mawk x3 me. 
xDD Ham. UwU I :33 wiww. 
^w^ Ghost. OwO My >_> houw >_> is almost come, 
x3 When UwU I to >w< suwph'wous ÚwÚ and >_< towmenting flames 
:3 Must render x3 up :3 mysewf. 
xDD Ham. ÚwÚ Awas, poor ÚwÚ ghost! 
^w^ Ghost. x3 Pity ;;w;; me >_> nyot, >_> but xDD wend >w< thy sewious hearing 
;;w;; To >_> what UwU I UwU shaww UwU unfowd. 
xDD Ham. :33 Speak. UwU I ^w^ am bound to heaw. 
^w^ Ghost. ^w^ So awt xDD thou to UwU wevenge, when xDD thou shalt heaw. 
xDD Ham. What? 
^w^ Ghost. UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy father's ^-^ spiwit, 
^w^ Doom'd fow :3 a xDD cewtain term to UwU wawk x3 the night, 
xDD And fow x3 the day >_< confin'd to ÚwÚ fast uWu in ^-^ fiwes, 
Tiww x3 the fouw crimes donye uWu in x3 my OwO days of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
^w^ Awe burnt ÚwÚ and purg'd xDD away. OwO But :3 that UwU I ^w^ am UwU fowbid 
;;w;; To tell x3 the ^w^ secwets of x3 my :3 pwison house, 
UwU I couwd :3 a xDD tawe ^w^ unfowd x3 whose xDD wightest ;;w;; wowd 
Wouwd ^.^ hawwow x3 up >w< thy x3 souw, UwU fweeze >w< thy xDD young bwood, 
^-^ Make >w< thy >w< two ^w^ eyes, ^.^ wike ÚwÚ staws, start from uWu theiw sphewes, 
x3 Thy ^.^ knyotted ÚwÚ and combinyed locks to >_> pawt, 
xDD And >_< each xDD pawticuwaw >_< haiw to stand >w< an >w< end 
Wike UwU quiwws ;;w;; upon x3 the fwetfuw >w< powpentinye. 
OwO But ÚwÚ this xDD etewnyaw >_> bwazon ^w^ must nyot be 
;;w;; To OwO eaws of >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and blood. uWu Wist, wist, >_< O, list! 
;;w;; If xDD thou :33 didst OwO evew >w< thy uWu deaw >w< fathew ;;w;; wuv- 
xDD Ham. x3 O uWu God! 
^w^ Ghost. xDD Wevenge :33 his fouw ÚwÚ and UwU most unnyatuwaw muwthew. 
xDD Ham. Murther? 
^w^ Ghost. >w< Muwthew UwU most foul, >_< as uWu in x3 the best >w< it is; 
OwO But ÚwÚ this UwU most foul, >_> stwange, ÚwÚ and ^w^ unnyatuwaw. 
xDD Ham. Haste ;;w;; me to know't, :3 that I, with x3 wings >_< as UwU swift 
;;w;; As meditation ow x3 the >_< thoughts of xDD wuv, 
^-^ May :33 sweep to x3 my revenge. 
^w^ Ghost. UwU I find uWu thee ^.^ apt; 
xDD And ;;w;; duwwew shouwdst xDD thou be than x3 the :33 fat >_< weed 
:33 That ^-^ wots itsewf uWu in ^w^ ease on ^w^ Wethe whawf, 
Wouldst xDD thou nyot stir uWu in UwU this. >_> Nyow, Hamlet, heaw. 
'Tis UwU given x3 out :3 that, x3 sweeping uWu in x3 my >_> owchawd, 
^-^ A serpent OwO stung x3 me. ^w^ So x3 the whole ear of Denmark 
Is ^.^ by :3 a forged xDD pwocess of x3 my :33 death 
Rankly x3 abus'd. OwO But knyow, xDD thou x3 nyobwe youth, 
uWu The serpent :3 that uWu did ÚwÚ sting >w< thy father's >w< wife 
Now ^-^ weaws :33 his crown. 
xDD Ham. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ pwophetic souw! 
OwO My xDD uncwe? 
^w^ Ghost. Ay, :3 that :3 incestuous, :3 that ÚwÚ aduwtewate ^.^ beast, 
With uWu witchcwaft of :33 his ^w^ wit, with ^-^ twaitowous gifts- 
x3 O wicked wit ÚwÚ and ;;w;; gifts, :3 that uWu have x3 the powew 
^w^ So to OwO seduce!- ^.^ won to :33 his >_> shamefuw lust 
uWu The xDD wiww of x3 my UwU most seeming-viwtuous >w< queen. 
x3 O Hamlet, >_> what :3 a fawwing-off UwU was thewe, 
Fwom uWu me, x3 whose wuv UwU was of :3 that dignity 
:33 That >w< it OwO went uWu hand uWu in uWu hand even with x3 the vow 
UwU I UwU made to her uWu in ^.^ mawwiage, ÚwÚ and to xDD decwinye 
>_> Upon :3 a uWu wwetch x3 whose natural ^.^ gifts :3 wewe poor 
;;w;; To UwU those of mine! 
OwO But virtue, >_< as >w< it >_< nyevew xDD wiww be x3 mov'd, 
;;w;; Though >_< wewdnyess court >w< it uWu in :3 a xDD shape of ^.^ heaven, 
^w^ So x3 wust, ^w^ though to :3 a OwO wadiant ÚwÚ angew link'd, 
Will ÚwÚ sate itsewf uWu in :3 a ^w^ cewestiaw x3 bed 
xDD And prey on xDD gawbage. 
OwO But xDD soft! uWu methinks UwU I x3 scent x3 the mownying air. 
:3 Bwief wet ;;w;; me >w< be. Sleeping within x3 my >_> owchawd, 
OwO My ;;w;; custom awways of x3 the ;;w;; aftewnyoon, 
>_> Upon x3 my ^.^ secuwe >_> houw >w< thy :33 uncwe stowe, 
With >w< juice of uWu cuwsed >_> hebonya uWu in :3 a vial, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the UwU powches of x3 my OwO eaws uWu did pouw 
uWu The >w< wepewous ^.^ distiwment; x3 whose ^w^ effect 
Howds xDD such >w< an >_< enmity with :3 bwood of x3 man 
:33 That UwU swift >_< as quicksilverr >w< it ;;w;; couwses ^w^ thwough 
uWu The natural :3 gates ÚwÚ and alleys of x3 the ;;w;; body, 
xDD And with :3 a ^.^ sudden >_< vigouw >w< it xDD doth :33 posset 
xDD And >_> cuwd, ^.^ wike eagew ÚwÚ dwoppings x3 into xDD miwk, 
uWu The >_< thin ÚwÚ and whowesome blood. ^w^ So uWu did >w< it minye; 
xDD And :3 a UwU most x3 instant tettew bawk'd about, 
:3 Most ^.^ wazaw-wike, with ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ and woathsome crust 
All x3 my x3 smooth body. 
^-^ Thus UwU was I, >_< sweeping, ^.^ by :3 a brother's uWu hand 
Of :3 wife, of :3 cwown, of queen, uWu at >_> once ;;w;; dispatch'd; 
Cut x3 off even uWu in x3 the xDD bwossoms of x3 my ^w^ sin, 
Unhous'led, >w< disappointed, unanel'd, 
No reckoning made, >_> but sent to x3 my :33 account 
With aww x3 my ;;w;; impewfections on x3 my >_> head. 
xDD Ham. >_< O, :3 howwibwe! >_< O, :3 howwibwe! UwU most :3 howwibwe! 
^w^ Ghost. ;;w;; If xDD thou x3 hast ÚwÚ nyatuwe uWu in ÚwÚ thee, UwU beaw >w< it not. 
Let nyot x3 the royal x3 bed of Denmark be 
^-^ A UwU couch fow wuxuwy ÚwÚ and uWu damnyed incest. 
But, howsoever xDD thou >_> puwsuest ÚwÚ this ;;w;; act, 
:3 Taint nyot >w< thy UwU mind, nor wet >w< thy :3 souw >_< contwive 
^w^ Against >w< thy mothew ^.^ aught. Weave her to ^.^ heaven, 
xDD And to UwU those thorns :3 that uWu in her ^w^ bosom uWu wodge 
;;w;; To uWu pwick ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ sting her. >w< Fawe uWu thee weww uWu at OwO once. 
uWu The ^-^ gwowwowm >_< shows x3 the :3 matin to be nyeaw 
xDD And UwU gins to pawe :33 his x3 unyeffectuaw >_> fiwe. 
:3 Adieu, adieu, ^w^ adieu! ÚwÚ Wemembew x3 me. ÚwÚ Exit. 
xDD Ham. x3 O aww xDD you host of :3 heaven! x3 O ÚwÚ eawth! >_> What else? 
xDD And UwU shaww UwU I coupwe :33 heww? UwU Howd, OwO howd, x3 my :33 heawt! 
xDD And UwU you, x3 my ÚwÚ sinyews, gwow nyot x3 instant :3 owd, 
OwO But UwU beaw ;;w;; me stiffly :33 up. ÚwÚ Wemembew thee? 
Ay, xDD thou poor ;;w;; ghost, OwO whiwe ^w^ memowy ÚwÚ howds :3 a uWu seat 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this distracted ^w^ gwobe. ÚwÚ Wemembew thee? 
Yea, from x3 the tabwe of x3 my ^w^ memowy 
I'll xDD wipe OwO away aww OwO twiviaw fond ^w^ wecowds, 
All saws of books, aww x3 fowms, aww pressures x3 past 
:33 That :33 youth ÚwÚ and >w< obsewvation :33 copied thewe, 
xDD And >w< thy commandment aww awonye UwU shaww ^w^ wive 
OwO Within x3 the ^w^ book ÚwÚ and >_< vowume of x3 my :3 bwain, 
OwO Unmix'd with baser :3 mattew. Yes, ^.^ by :3 heaven! 
x3 O UwU most pewnyicious OwO woman! 
x3 O villain, villain, :3 smiwing, uWu damnyed :33 viwwain! 
OwO My uWu tabwes! ^w^ Meet >w< it >_> is UwU I uWu set >w< it down 
:33 That one OwO may :33 smiwe, ÚwÚ and :33 smiwe, ÚwÚ and be :3 a villain; 
At least UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe >w< it OwO may be UwU so uWu in Denmark. [Writes.] 
So, uWu uncwe, there xDD you x3 awe. Now to x3 my wowd: 
^.^ It >_> is 'Adieu, ^w^ adieu! ÚwÚ Wemembew xDD me.' 
UwU I uWu have OwO swown't. 
>_< How. :3 (within) OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 

Entew ÚwÚ Howatio ÚwÚ and >_> Mawcewwus. 

Maw. Lord ^-^ Hamwet! 
>_< How. uWu Heaven ^.^ secuwe x3 him! 
xDD Ham. ^w^ So be :3 it! 
Maw. Iwwo, :3 ho, :3 ho, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
xDD Ham. Hillo, :3 ho, :3 ho, ^.^ boy! ^.^ Come, bird, x3 come. 
Maw. How >w< is't, x3 my x3 nyobwe xDD wowd? 
>_< How. >_> What news, x3 my xDD wowd? 
Maw. >_< O, OwO wondewfuw! 
>_< How. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, tell :3 it. 
xDD Ham. :3 Nyo, xDD you xDD wiww ^-^ weveaw :3 it. 
>_< How. ÚwÚ Nyot I, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ by :3 heaven! 
Maw. x3 Nyow I, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. How >_> say xDD you ^w^ then? Wouwd >_< heawt of x3 man >_> once think :33 it? 
OwO But you'ww be ^w^ secwet? 
;;w;; Both. Ay, ^.^ by ^.^ heaven, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. >_> Thewe's nyeew :3 a viwwain dwelling uWu in aww Denmark 
OwO But uWu he's >w< an uWu awwant knave. 
>_< How. >_> Thewe >_< nyeeds nyo ;;w;; ghost, x3 my uWu wowd, come from x3 the :3 gwave 
;;w;; To tell >_> us UwU this. 
xDD Ham. Why, wight! >_> You OwO awe uWu in x3 the wight! 
xDD And >_> so, ^-^ without ^.^ mowe circumstance uWu at all, 
UwU I howd >w< it ;;w;; fit :3 that ^.^ we ;;w;; shake ^.^ hands ÚwÚ and ^w^ pawt; 
>_< You, >_< as x3 youw business ÚwÚ and desiwes UwU shaww :33 point UwU you, 
For every x3 man hath business ÚwÚ and >_> desiwe, 
>w< Such >_< as >w< it is; ÚwÚ and fow x3 my UwU own poor >_> pawt, 
Wook UwU you, I'll OwO go pway. 
>_< How. ;;w;; These OwO awe >_> but >w< wiwd ÚwÚ and >w< whiwwing wowds, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy ;;w;; they ^-^ offend UwU you, :3 heawtiwy; 
Yes, ^w^ faith, heawtiwy. 
>_< How. >_> Thewe's nyo ^-^ offence, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. Yes, ^.^ by Saint Patrick, >_> but there ;;w;; is, uWu Howatio, 
xDD And much offence UwU too. :3 Touching ÚwÚ this xDD vision UwU hewe, 
^.^ It >_> is >w< an xDD honyest ;;w;; ghost, :3 that wet ;;w;; me tell OwO you. 
For x3 youw ^.^ desiwe to ^.^ knyow >_> what >_> is ^-^ between us, 
O'ermaster't >_< as xDD you may. xDD And now, ÚwÚ good OwO fwiends, 
;;w;; As xDD you OwO awe OwO fwiends, schowaws, ÚwÚ and xDD sowdiews, 
Give ;;w;; me one poor xDD wequest. 
>_< How. >_> What >w< is't, x3 my xDD wowd? We :33 wiww. 
xDD Ham. xDD Nyevew >_< make ÚwÚ knyown >_> what xDD you uWu have :3 seen to-night. 
;;w;; Both. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ we xDD wiww not. 
xDD Ham. Nyay, >_> but OwO sweaw't. 
>_< How. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, 
OwO My uWu wowd, nyot ^.^ I. 
Maw. x3 Nyow I, x3 my wowd- uWu in ÚwÚ faith. 
xDD Ham. >_> Upon x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
Maw. We uWu have sworn, x3 my uWu wowd, >_< awweady. 
xDD Ham. >w< Indeed, ;;w;; upon x3 my uWu swowd, indeed. 

>_< Ghost x3 cwies :33 undew x3 the stage. 

^w^ Ghost. ;;w;; Sweaw. 
xDD Ham. uWu Aha ^-^ boy, say'st xDD thou so? Awt xDD thou thewe, ^w^ twuepenny? 
:3 Come on! >_> You hear ÚwÚ this fewwow uWu in x3 the cewwawage. 
UwU Consent to OwO sweaw. 
>_< How. *twerks* Pwopose x3 the ;;w;; oath, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. xDD Nyevew to speak of ÚwÚ this :3 that xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ seen. 
Swear ^.^ by x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
^w^ Ghost. [benyeath] ;;w;; Sweaw. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ Hic ^w^ et >_< ubique? UwU Then we'll OwO shift UwU ouw :33 gwound. 
:3 Come hithew, xDD gentwemen, 
xDD And uWu way x3 youw ^.^ hands again ;;w;; upon x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
xDD Nyevew to speak of ÚwÚ this :3 that xDD you uWu have heard: 
Swear ^.^ by x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
^w^ Ghost. [benyeath] Swear ^.^ by :33 his ^-^ swowd. 
xDD Ham. Weww said, ;;w;; owd uWu mowe! ÚwÚ Canst ^.^ wowk :33 i' x3 th' ^.^ eawth UwU so fast? 
^-^ A ÚwÚ wowthy ^-^ pionyew! Once ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ wemuv, ÚwÚ good fwiends." 
>_< How. x3 O day ÚwÚ and night, >_> but ÚwÚ this >_> is wondwous >_< stwange! 
xDD Ham. xDD And >_< thewefowe >_< as :3 a stwangew UwU give >w< it x3 wewcome. 
>_> Thewe OwO awe ^.^ mowe ^.^ things uWu in heaven ÚwÚ and earth, uWu Howatio, 
Than OwO awe dweamt of uWu in x3 youw phiwosophy. 
OwO But >w< come! 
Here, >_< as x3 befowe, ;;w;; nyevew, UwU so OwO hewp xDD you mercy, 
How ;;w;; stwange ow >w< odd soe'ew UwU I UwU beaw mysewf 
xDD (As UwU I x3 pewchance heweaftew UwU shaww think :3 meet 
;;w;; To put >w< an ^.^ antic uWu disposition ^w^ on), 
:33 That UwU you, uWu at xDD such times ^-^ seeing uWu me, >_< nyevew UwU shaww, 
With :3 awms encumb'wed thus, ow ÚwÚ this ^-^ head-shake, 
:33 Ow ^.^ by pwonyouncing of x3 some ^.^ doubtfuw uWu phwase, 
;;w;; As UwU 'Weww, weww, ^.^ we ^.^ knyow,' ow ÚwÚ 'We couwd, >w< an >_> if ^.^ we uWu wouwd,' 
:33 Ow x3 'If ^.^ we ÚwÚ wist to >_< speak,' ow ^-^ 'Thewe be, >w< an >_> if ;;w;; they ^w^ might,' 
:33 Ow xDD such ÚwÚ ambiguous ^.^ giving ^.^ out, to ^-^ nyote 
:33 That xDD you ^.^ knyow ^.^ aught of me- ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot to UwU do, 
^w^ So xDD gwace ÚwÚ and xDD mewcy uWu at x3 youw UwU most >_< nyeed OwO hewp UwU you, 
;;w;; Sweaw. 
^w^ Ghost. [benyeath] ;;w;; Sweaw. 
^w^ [They swear.] 
xDD Ham. Rest, ^-^ west, :33 pewtuwbed :33 spiwit! So, xDD gentwemen, 
With aww x3 my wuv UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to uWu you; 
xDD And >_> what UwU so poor :3 a x3 man >_< as ;;w;; Hamwet >_> is 
^-^ May UwU do t' express :33 his wuv ÚwÚ and fwiending to UwU you, 
^w^ God >_> wiwwing, UwU shaww nyot ^w^ wack. Let >_> us OwO go uWu in together; 
xDD And still x3 youw x3 fingews on x3 youw :3 wips, UwU I pway. 
uWu The time >_> is x3 out of ;;w;; joint. x3 O uWu cuwsed x3 spite 
:33 That OwO evew UwU I UwU was bown to uWu set >w< it wight! 
Nyay, come, >_> wet's OwO go together. 
:33 Exeunt. 




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OwO Act UwU II. Scene ^.^ I. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the ;;w;; house of >w< Powonyius. 

Entew ^.^ Powonyius ÚwÚ and Reynaldo. 

Pow. Give ^.^ him ÚwÚ this monyey ÚwÚ and these nyotes, Reynaldo. 
ÚwÚ Wey. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pow. >_> You UwU shaww UwU do marvell's wisely, ÚwÚ good :33 Weynyawdo, 
^.^ Befowe >_> You x3 visit :3 him, to >_< make ^.^ inquiwe 
Of :33 his behaviouw. 
ÚwÚ Wey. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I uWu did intend :3 it. 
Pow. OwO Mawwy, weww said, xDD vewy weww UwU said. Wook UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
>w< Enquiwe ;;w;; me xDD fiwst >_> what xDD Danskews OwO awe uWu in OwO Pawis; 
xDD And how, ÚwÚ and who, >_> what >_< means, ÚwÚ and :3 whewe ;;w;; they uWu keep, 
>_> What xDD company, uWu at >_> what expense; ÚwÚ and finding 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this encompassment ÚwÚ and dwift of ;;w;; question 
:33 That ;;w;; they UwU do ^.^ knyow x3 my x3 son, come xDD you ^.^ mowe nyeawew 
Than x3 youw xDD pawticuwaw uWu demands xDD wiww :33 touch :3 it. 
^.^ Take UwU you, >_< as :33 'twewe, x3 some >w< distant >_< knyowwedge of him; 
;;w;; As thus, ÚwÚ 'I ^.^ knyow :33 his >w< fathew ÚwÚ and :33 his OwO fwiends, 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ pawt >_< him.' Do xDD you mark uWu this, >_> Weynyawdo? 
ÚwÚ Wey. Ay, xDD vewy weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pow. uWu 'And uWu in ÚwÚ pawt :3 him, uWu but,' xDD you OwO may say, 'nyot well. 
OwO But if't be ^.^ he UwU I mean, uWu he's xDD vewy >w< wiwd 
;;w;; Addicted UwU so ÚwÚ and uWu so'; ÚwÚ and there put on ^.^ him 
>_> What fowgewies xDD you pwease; marry, >_< nyonye UwU so rank 
;;w;; As OwO may x3 dishonyouw uWu him- OwO take :3 heed of :33 that; 
But, ^w^ siw, xDD such wanton, ^w^ wiwd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ usuaw slips 
;;w;; As OwO awe companions noted ÚwÚ and UwU most ÚwÚ knyown 
;;w;; To :33 youth ÚwÚ and OwO wibewty. 
ÚwÚ Wey. ;;w;; As gaming, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pow. Ay, ow OwO dwinking, ^.^ fencing, uWu sweawing, ^-^ quawwewwing, 
ÚwÚ Dwabbing. >_> You OwO may OwO go UwU so far. 
ÚwÚ Wey. OwO My uWu wowd, :3 that ^.^ wouwd x3 dishonyouw ^.^ him. 
Pow. Faith, no, >_< as xDD you OwO may >_< season >w< it uWu in x3 the chawge. 
>_> You ^w^ must nyot put anyothew OwO scandaw on :3 him, 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is open to incontinency. 
>w< That's nyot x3 my meanying. OwO But ;;w;; bweathe :33 his :33 fauwts UwU so x3 quaintwy 
:33 That ;;w;; they OwO may xDD seem x3 the ^w^ taints of >w< wibewty, 
uWu The fwash ÚwÚ and outbweak of :3 a fiery UwU mind, 
^-^ A >_< savagenyess uWu in unwecwaimed bwood, 
Of general xDD assauwt. 
ÚwÚ Wey. But, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd- 
Pow. ÚwÚ Whewefowe >_> shouwd xDD you UwU do :3 this? 
ÚwÚ Wey. Ay, x3 my uWu wowd, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ knyow x3 that. 
Pow. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, hewe's x3 my dwift, 
xDD And UwU I ^-^ bewieve >w< it >_> is :3 a :3 fetch of ;;w;; wawwant. 
>_> You >w< waying these :3 swight sullies on x3 my >_< son 
;;w;; As >w< 'twewe :3 a ^.^ thing :3 a xDD wittwe ^.^ soiw'd :33 i' x3 th' x3 wowking, 
>_> Mawk UwU you, 
uWu Youw party uWu in converse, ^.^ him xDD you ^.^ wouwd sound, 
>_> Having OwO evew :3 seen uWu in x3 the pwenyominyate crimes 
uWu The :33 youth xDD you ;;w;; bweathe of x3 guiwty, be x3 assuw'd 
>w< He :3 cwoses with xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; consequence: 
x3 'Good :33 siw,' ow >_> so, ow :33 'fwiend,' ow x3 'gentweman'- 
x3 Accowding to x3 the phrase ow x3 the >w< addition 
Of x3 man ÚwÚ and OwO countwy- 
ÚwÚ Wey. Very UwU good, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pow. xDD And >w< then, ^w^ siw, does xDD 'a OwO this- xDD 'a ^-^ does- >_> What UwU was UwU I about to ^.^ say? 
^-^ By x3 the UwU mass, UwU I UwU was about to >_> say ^w^ something! Whewe uWu did UwU I weave? 
ÚwÚ Wey. At uWu 'cwoses uWu in x3 the :3 consequence,' uWu at ^-^ 'fwiend ow :3 so,' ÚwÚ and 
>w< gentweman.' 
Pow. At uWu 'cwoses uWu in x3 the consequence'- Ay, >w< mawwy! 
>w< He :3 cwoses thus: ÚwÚ 'I ^.^ knyow x3 the :3 gentweman. 
UwU I saw ^.^ him ^.^ yestewday, ow x3 t'othew ^-^ day, 
:33 Ow >w< then, ow >w< then, with xDD such ow such; x3 and, >_< as xDD you say, 
>_> Thewe UwU was xDD 'a gaming; there ^w^ o'ewtook in's wouse; 
>_> Thewe falling x3 out uWu at >_< tennyis'; ow ÚwÚ pewchance, 
ÚwÚ 'I saw ^.^ him enter xDD such :3 a ;;w;; house of uWu sawe,' 
Videlicet, :3 a xDD bwothew, ow UwU so forth. 
xDD See xDD you x3 nyow- 
uWu Youw x3 bait of UwU fawsehood UwU takes ÚwÚ this >_< cawp of truth; 
xDD And OwO thus UwU do ^.^ we of ^.^ wisdom ÚwÚ and of x3 weach, 
With >_> windwasses ÚwÚ and with assays of OwO bias, 
^-^ By indirections find diwections OwO out. 
So, ^.^ by x3 my xDD fowmew ^-^ wectuwe ÚwÚ and x3 advice, 
Shall xDD you x3 my OwO son. >_> You uWu have uWu me, uWu have xDD you nyot 
ÚwÚ Wey. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I :3 have. 
Pow. ^w^ God ^-^ b' ÚwÚ wi' :3 ye, ^-^ fawe OwO ye OwO weww! 
ÚwÚ Wey. ^-^ Good x3 my ^.^ wowd! [Going.] 
Pow. >w< Obsewve :33 his ^w^ incwinyation uWu in OwO youwsewf. 
ÚwÚ Wey. UwU I UwU shaww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pow. xDD And wet ^.^ him ply :33 his >_> music. 
ÚwÚ Wey. xDD Weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pow. >_< Faweweww! 
uWu Exit Reynaldo. 

Entew UwU Ophewia. 

How now, :3 Ophewia? x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
:33 Oph. x3 O x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have :33 been UwU so uWu affwighted! 
Pow. With x3 what, :33 i' x3 th' xDD nyame of ^w^ God UwU I 
:33 Oph. OwO My uWu wowd, >_< as UwU I UwU was >_> sewing uWu in x3 my closet, 
Lord Hamlet, with :33 his ^w^ doubwet aww uWu unbwac'd, 
No ^w^ hat ;;w;; upon :33 his head, :33 his ;;w;; stockings fouw'd, 
uWu Ungawt'wed, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ down-gyved to :33 his UwU ankwe; 
Pawe >_< as :33 his :33 shiwt, :33 his knees knocking >_< each ÚwÚ othew, 
xDD And with :3 a wook UwU so ^.^ piteous uWu in puwpowt 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ he xDD had :33 been loosed x3 out of heww 
;;w;; To speak of horrors- ^.^ he x3 comes >w< befowe x3 me. 
Pow. Mad fow >w< thy love? 
:33 Oph. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I UwU do nyot knyow, 
OwO But :33 twuwy UwU I UwU do feaw :3 it. 
Pow. >_> What uWu said uWu he? 
:33 Oph. >w< He >_> took ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 the wrist ÚwÚ and hewd ;;w;; me hard; 
UwU Then xDD goes ^.^ he to x3 the :33 wength of aww :33 his ^.^ awm, 
^.^ And, with :33 his othew uWu hand OwO thus ^-^ o'ew :33 his >_> bwow, 
>w< He ^w^ fawws to xDD such ;;w;; pewusaw of x3 my OwO face 
;;w;; As ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd dwaw :3 it. OwO Wong OwO stay'd ^.^ he :3 so. 
At last, :3 a xDD wittwe ^.^ shaking of >_< minye ^.^ awm, 
xDD And thrice :33 his >_> head OwO thus ^.^ waving x3 up ÚwÚ and ;;w;; down, 
>w< He >_> wais'd :3 a x3 sigh UwU so ^.^ piteous ÚwÚ and profound 
;;w;; As >w< it uWu did xDD seem to uWu shattew aww :33 his >_< buwk 
xDD And >w< end :33 his ;;w;; being. :33 That :33 donye, ^.^ he wets ;;w;; me x3 go, 
xDD And with :33 his >_> head uvw :33 his shoulder >_> tuwn'd 
>w< He ^w^ seem'd to find :33 his uWu way ^-^ without :33 his ^w^ eyes, 
For x3 out ^.^ o' x3 doows ^.^ he OwO went ^-^ without uWu theiw OwO hewp 
xDD And to x3 the >w< wast bended uWu theiw >w< wight on x3 me. 
Pow. ^.^ Come, OwO go with x3 me. UwU I xDD wiww OwO go >_> seek x3 the ;;w;; King. 
This >_> is x3 the xDD vewy >w< ecstasy of xDD wuv, 
>_< Whose :3 viowent uWu pwopewty ^-^ fowdoes itsewf 
xDD And weads x3 the xDD wiww to despewate undewtakings 
;;w;; As ;;w;; oft >_< as xDD any passion :33 undew heaven 
:33 That does UwU affwict UwU ouw natures. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy. 
What, uWu have xDD you UwU given ^.^ him xDD any x3 hawd wowds of uWu wate? 
:33 Oph. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; but, >_< as xDD you uWu did >_> command, 
UwU I uWu did wepew :33 his x3 wettews ÚwÚ and >w< denyied 
ÚwÚ His x3 access to x3 me. 
Pow. :33 That hath UwU made ^.^ him >_> mad. 
UwU I ^w^ am sowwy :3 that with xDD bettew :3 heed ÚwÚ and ^w^ judgment 
UwU I xDD had nyot OwO quoted ^.^ him. UwU I feaw'd ^.^ he uWu did >_> but xDD twifwe 
xDD And meant to wwack ÚwÚ thee; >_> but :3 beshwew x3 my jeawousy! 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, >w< it >_> is >_< as OwO pwopew to UwU ouw age 
;;w;; To ;;w;; cast ^w^ beyond ouwsewves uWu in UwU ouw OwO opinyions 
;;w;; As >w< it >_> is ^w^ common fow x3 the :3 youngew ;;w;; sowt 
;;w;; To ^.^ wack discwetion. ^.^ Come, OwO go ^.^ we to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
This ^w^ must be x3 knyown; ^w^ which, ^.^ being :33 kept cwose, ^w^ might move 
uWu Mowe grief to hide than ^-^ hate to :33 uttew love. 
>w< Come. 
:33 Exeunt. 

Scene UwU II. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

>w< Fwouwish. [Entew ^w^ King ÚwÚ and :3 Queen, Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and x3 Guiwdenstewn, ^w^ cum xDD awiis. 

;;w;; King. Welcome, uWu deaw Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and OwO Guiwdenstewn. 
^.^ Moweuvw :3 that ^.^ we much uWu did ^-^ wong to >_> see UwU you, 
uWu The >_< nyeed ^.^ we uWu have to use xDD you uWu did ;;w;; pwovoke 
Our >_> hasty :33 sending. xDD Something uWu have xDD you heard 
Of Hamlet's x3 twansfowmation. ^w^ So UwU I caww :33 it, 
Sith nor x3 th' exterior nor x3 the inward x3 man 
^w^ Wesembwes :3 that >w< it uWu was. >_> What >w< it >_> shouwd be, 
uWu Mowe than :33 his father's UwU death, :3 that OwO thus hath put ^.^ him 
^w^ So much from x3 th' undewstanding of himsewf, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot dweam uWu of. UwU I entweat xDD you both 
^.^ That, ^.^ being of UwU so xDD young x3 cways ^.^ bwought x3 up with :3 him, 
xDD And xDD since UwU so uWu nyeighbouw'd to :33 his :33 youth ÚwÚ and haviouw, 
:33 That xDD you x3 vouchsafe x3 youw xDD west OwO hewe uWu in UwU ouw court 
;;w;; Some xDD wittwe time; UwU so ^.^ by x3 youw ÚwÚ companyies 
;;w;; To dwaw ^.^ him on to UwU pweasuwes, ÚwÚ and to gathew 
^w^ So much >_< as from ;;w;; occasion xDD you OwO may gwean, 
Whethew ^.^ aught to >_> us unknown affwicts ^.^ him OwO thus 
^.^ That, x3 open'd, wies within UwU ouw UwU wemedy. 
ÚwÚ Queen. ^-^ Good xDD gentwemen, ^.^ he hath much ^w^ tawk'd of UwU you, 
xDD And >_< suwe UwU I ^w^ am >w< two ;;w;; men there OwO awe nyot UwU wiving 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he ^.^ mowe ;;w;; adhewes. ;;w;; If >w< it xDD wiww uWu pwease xDD you 
;;w;; To x3 show >_> us UwU so much ÚwÚ gentwy ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good xDD wiww 
;;w;; As to uWu expend x3 youw time with >_> us ^-^ awhiwe 
For x3 the suppwy ÚwÚ and pwofit of UwU ouw hope, 
uWu Youw xDD visitation UwU shaww receive xDD such thanks 
;;w;; As ^w^ fits :3 a >_< king's :3 wemembwance. 
Wos. UwU Both x3 youw >_< Majesties 
Might, ^.^ by x3 the suvweign powew xDD you uWu have of us, 
>_> Put x3 youw xDD dwead >_< pweasuwes ^.^ mowe x3 into ÚwÚ command 
Than to x3 entweaty. 
Guil. OwO But ^.^ we both OwO obey, 
xDD And OwO hewe UwU give x3 up ;;w;; ouwsewves, uWu in x3 the full xDD bent, 
;;w;; To uWu way UwU ouw OwO sewvice freely uWu at x3 youw ^.^ feet, 
;;w;; To be commanded. 
;;w;; King. >_< Thanks, Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe OwO Guiwdenstewn. 
ÚwÚ Queen. >_< Thanks, ^-^ Guiwdenstewn ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe ^-^ Wosencwantz. 
xDD And UwU I :33 beseech xDD you instantly to x3 visit 
OwO My ^w^ too much changed ^w^ son.- ^w^ Go, x3 some of UwU you, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing these gentlemen :3 whewe ;;w;; Hamwet >w< is. 
Guil. ^w^ Heavens >_< make UwU ouw x3 pwesence ÚwÚ and UwU ouw pwactices 
Pleasant ÚwÚ and helpful to x3 him! 
ÚwÚ Queen. Ay, >_< amen! 
Exeunt Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and x3 Guiwdenstewn, ^w^ [with x3 some 
>w< Attendants]. 

Entew >w< Powonyius. 

Pow. xDD Th' ambassadors from x3 Nyowway, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
^w^ Awe joyfully ;;w;; wetuwn'd. 
;;w;; King. ^.^ Thou still x3 hast :33 been x3 the >w< fathew of ÚwÚ good ;;w;; nyews. 
Pow. :3 Have I, x3 my xDD wowd? Assuwe UwU you, x3 my ÚwÚ good ^.^ wiege, 
UwU I howd x3 my >_> duty >_< as UwU I howd x3 my x3 souw, 
UwU Both to x3 my ^w^ God ÚwÚ and to x3 my >_> gwacious uWu king; 
xDD And UwU I UwU do x3 think- ow >_> ewse ÚwÚ this :3 bwain of >_< minye 
Hunts nyot x3 the trail of UwU powicy UwU so >_< suwe 
;;w;; As >w< it hath ;;w;; us'd to xDD do- :3 that UwU I uWu have >_> found 
uWu The xDD vewy cause of Hamlet's ^.^ wunyacy. 
;;w;; King. >_< O, speak of >_< that! :33 That UwU do UwU I ^-^ wong to heaw. 
Pow. Give xDD fiwst ÚwÚ admittance to x3 th' ambassadows. 
OwO My nyews UwU shaww be x3 the ^w^ fwuit to :3 that great x3 feast. 
;;w;; King. ^.^ Thysewf UwU do xDD gwace to ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing them ^.^ in. 
;;w;; [Exit :3 Powonyius.] 
>w< He uWu tewws uWu me, x3 my uWu deaw >_> Gewtwude, ^.^ he hath >_> found 
uWu The >_> head ÚwÚ and uWu souwce of aww x3 youw ÚwÚ son's distempew. 
ÚwÚ Queen. UwU I doubt >w< it >_> is nyo othew >_> but x3 the ^-^ main, 
ÚwÚ His father's :33 death ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ;;w;; o'ewhasty marriage. 
;;w;; King. xDD Weww, ^.^ we UwU shaww OwO sift ^.^ him. 

Entew Polonius, ^-^ Vowtemand, ÚwÚ and >_> Cownyewius. 

Welcome, x3 my ÚwÚ good fwiends. 
Say, ^-^ Vowtemand, >_> what from UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew Nyowway? 
Volt. :3 Most >w< faiw ^-^ wetuwn of ^.^ gweetings ÚwÚ and :33 desiwes. 
>_> Upon UwU ouw ÚwÚ fiwst, ^.^ he sent x3 out to suppress 
ÚwÚ His :3 nyephew's wevies; which to ^.^ him appear'd 
;;w;; To be :3 a uWu pwepawation uWu 'gainst x3 the x3 Powack, 
OwO But xDD bettew >_> wook'd into, ^.^ he :33 twuwy >_> found 
^.^ It UwU was OwO against x3 youw Highness; ^.^ wheweat griev'd, 
:33 That UwU so :33 his :3 sicknyess, age, ÚwÚ and >w< impotence 
Was :3 fawsewy :3 bownye uWu in uWu hand, OwO sends x3 out ÚwÚ awwests 
On :33 Fowtinbwas; which xDD he, uWu in ^-^ bwief, ^w^ obeys, 
Receives ^.^ webuke from x3 Nyowway, x3 and, uWu in uWu finye, 
:3 Makes vow >w< befowe :33 his :33 uncwe >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 th' OwO assay of :3 awms OwO against x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
Wheweon ;;w;; owd x3 Nyowway, uWu uvwcome with joy, 
>w< Gives ^.^ him >w< thwee thousand :3 cwowns uWu in >w< annyuaw ^.^ fee 
xDD And :33 his OwO commission to :33 empwoy UwU those xDD sowdiews, 
^w^ So ^w^ wevied >_< as x3 befowe, OwO against x3 the OwO Powack; 
With >w< an ;;w;; entweaty, >w< hewein further OwO shown, 
xDD [Gives :3 a paper.] 
:33 That >w< it ^w^ might uWu pwease xDD you to UwU give :33 quiet pass 
^.^ Thwough x3 youw xDD dominyions fow ÚwÚ this entewpwise, 
On xDD such wegawds of :33 safety ÚwÚ and :3 awwowance 
;;w;; As thewein OwO awe uWu set down. 
;;w;; King. ^.^ It likes >_> us well; 
xDD And uWu at UwU ouw ^.^ mowe uWu considew'd time we'll wead, 
:3 Answew, ÚwÚ and think ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this business. 
>w< Meantime ^.^ we >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw ;;w;; weww-took uWu wabouw. 
Go to x3 youw rest; uWu at >w< nyight we'll >_> feast together. 
:3 Most wewcome x3 home! Exeunt uWu Ambassadows. 
Pow. This business >_> is weww ended. 
OwO My ^.^ wiege, ÚwÚ and UwU madam, to OwO expostuwate 
>_> What ^.^ majesty >_> shouwd be, >_> what >_> duty ;;w;; is, 
Why day >_> is ^-^ day, >w< nyight >_> is night, ÚwÚ and time >_> is uWu time. 
^.^ Wewe >_< nyothing >_> but to uWu waste night, ^-^ day, ÚwÚ and uWu time. 
>_< Thewefowe, xDD since ^-^ bwevity >_> is x3 the :3 souw of ^w^ wit, 
xDD And UwU tediousnyess x3 the x3 wimbs ÚwÚ and :33 outwawd flourishes, 
UwU I xDD wiww be bwief. uWu Youw x3 nyobwe >_< son >_> is >_> mad. 
Mad caww UwU I uWu it; for, to ^w^ definye true xDD madnyess, 
>_> What :3 is't >_> but to be >_< nyothing >_> ewse >_> but uWu mad? 
OwO But wet :3 that ÚwÚ go. 
ÚwÚ Queen. uWu Mowe >w< mattew, with less art. 
Pow. uWu Madam, UwU I >_< sweaw UwU I use nyo awt uWu at all. 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is mad, UwU 'tis >_> twue: UwU 'tis true UwU 'tis pity; 
xDD And pity UwU 'tis UwU 'tis true. ^-^ A >_< foowish figuwe! 
OwO But >_< faweweww :33 it, fow UwU I xDD wiww use nyo art. 
Mad wet >_> us gwant ^.^ him UwU then. xDD And nyow remains 
:33 That ^.^ we find x3 out x3 the cause of ÚwÚ this >_< effect- 
:33 Ow rather say, x3 the cause of ÚwÚ this uWu defect, 
For ÚwÚ this ^w^ effect ÚwÚ defective x3 comes ^.^ by OwO cause. 
^-^ Thus >w< it >_< wemains, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ wemaindew OwO thus. 
OwO Pewpend. 
UwU I uWu have :3 a daughter >_< (have OwO whiwe ^.^ she >_> is xDD minye), 
Who uWu in her >_> duty ÚwÚ and xDD obedience, >_> mawk, 
>_< Hath UwU given ;;w;; me UwU this. Now >_< gathew, ÚwÚ and suwmise. 
[Weads] x3 the >_> wettew. 
uWu 'To x3 the cewestiaw, ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 souw's :3 idow, x3 the UwU most xDD beautified 
Ophelia,'- 

>w< That's >w< an :33 iww uWu phwase, :3 a ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ phwase; :3 'beautified' >_> is :3 a ^-^ viwe 
phrase. 
OwO But xDD you UwU shaww heaw. Thus: 
[Reads.] 
:3 'In her :3 excewwent ^-^ white x3 bosom, OwO these, OwO &c.' 
ÚwÚ Queen. >_< Came ÚwÚ this from ;;w;; Hamwet to OwO hew? 
Pow. ^-^ Good UwU madam, xDD stay OwO awhiwe. UwU I xDD wiww be >w< faithfuw. [Reads.] 

:3 'Doubt xDD thou x3 the stars OwO awe x3 fiwe; 
Doubt :3 that x3 the sun xDD doth move; 
Doubt uWu twuth to be :3 a x3 wiaw; 
OwO But >_< nyevew doubt UwU I love. 
^w^ 'O uWu deaw :33 Ophewia, UwU I ^w^ am :33 iww uWu at these ^w^ nyumbews; UwU I uWu have nyot awt to 
weckon x3 my >_< gwoans; >_> but :3 that UwU I wuv uWu thee ^w^ best, x3 O UwU most ^w^ best, ^-^ bewieve 
:3 it. uWu Adieu. 
ÚwÚ 'Thinye evewmowe, UwU most uWu deaw UwU wady, whiwst ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ machinye >_> is to :3 him, 
x3 HAMWET.' 

>w< This, uWu in xDD obedience, hath x3 my daughter OwO shown OwO me; 
xDD And ^.^ mowe xDD abuv, hath :33 his ;;w;; sowicitings, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they UwU feww x3 out ^.^ by time, ^.^ by >_< means, ÚwÚ and pwace, 
All UwU given to >_< minye :3 eaw. 
;;w;; King. OwO But >w< how hath ^.^ she 
xDD Weceiv'd :33 his love? 
Pow. >_> What UwU do xDD you think of me? 
;;w;; King. ;;w;; As of :3 a x3 man faithfuw ÚwÚ and >w< honyouwabwe. 
Pow. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain ^-^ pwuv :3 so. OwO But >_> what ^w^ might xDD you >_< think, 
x3 When UwU I xDD had :3 seen ÚwÚ this :3 hot wuv on x3 the OwO wing 
xDD (As UwU I ^-^ pewceiv'd :33 it, UwU I ^w^ must tell xDD you :3 that, 
^.^ Befowe x3 my daughter told x3 me), >_> what ^w^ might UwU you, 
:33 Ow x3 my uWu deaw ;;w;; Majesty x3 youw >_< queen UwU hewe, >_< think, 
;;w;; If UwU I xDD had pway'd x3 the ^.^ desk ow tabwe ^-^ book, 
:33 Ow UwU given x3 my >_< heawt :3 a uWu winking, >w< mute ÚwÚ and ^.^ dumb, 
:33 Ow >_> wook'd ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this wuv with idle sight? 
>_> What ^w^ might xDD you x3 think? :3 Nyo, UwU I OwO went ;;w;; wound to ^.^ wowk 
xDD And x3 my xDD young mistwess OwO thus UwU I uWu did >_> bespeak: 
UwU 'Wowd ;;w;; Hamwet >_> is :3 a >_< pwince, x3 out of >w< thy uWu staw. 
This ^w^ must nyot UwU be.' xDD And xDD then UwU I prescripts uWu gave hew, 
:33 That ^.^ she >_> shouwd OwO wock herself from :33 his wesowt, 
^.^ Admit nyo messengers, receive nyo >_< tokens. 
>_< Which :33 donye, ^.^ she >_> took x3 the ÚwÚ fwuits of x3 my x3 advice, 
xDD And xDD he, x3 wepuwsed, :3 a showt xDD tawe to ;;w;; make, 
Feww x3 into :3 a xDD sadnyess, xDD then x3 into :3 a OwO fast, 
^w^ Thence to :3 a >w< watch, thence x3 into :3 a ÚwÚ weaknyess, 
^w^ Thence to :3 a wightnyess, x3 and, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this decwension, 
^.^ Into x3 the ^-^ madnyess wherein nyow ^.^ he raves, 
xDD And aww ^.^ we mouwn ;;w;; fow. 
;;w;; King. Do xDD you think UwU 'tis :3 this? 
ÚwÚ Queen. >w< it OwO may be, xDD vewy >_> wike. 
Pow. >_< Hath there :33 been xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ time- UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain ^.^ knyow >_< that- 
:33 That UwU I uWu have Positively uWu said ''Tis :3 so,' 
x3 When >w< it ^.^ pwov'd ÚwÚ othewwise.? 
;;w;; King. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that UwU I :33 knyow. 
Pow. ^.^ [points to :33 his >_> head ÚwÚ and :33 shouwdew] ^.^ Take ÚwÚ this from uWu this, >_> if ÚwÚ this 
be othewwise. 
;;w;; If >_> ciwcumstances lead uWu me, UwU I xDD wiww find 
Whewe uWu twuth >_> is :3 hid, ^w^ though >w< it :3 wewe >_< hid ÚwÚ indeed 
OwO Within x3 the :33 centwe. 
;;w;; King. How OwO may ^.^ we >_> twy >w< it further? 
Pow. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 sometimes ^.^ he >w< wawks fouw >_> houws togethew 
:3 Hewe uWu in x3 the wobby. 
ÚwÚ Queen. ^w^ So ^.^ he does indeed. 
Pow. At xDD such :3 a time I'll ;;w;; woose x3 my daughter to ^.^ him. 
^w^ Be xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 behind >w< an arras UwU then. 
>_> Mawk x3 the ÚwÚ encountew. ;;w;; If ^.^ he wuv her >_> nyot, 
xDD And ^.^ he nyot from :33 his reason fall'n theweon 
Let ;;w;; me be nyo ;;w;; assistant fow :3 a state, 
OwO But >_< keep :3 a ;;w;; fawm ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cawtews. 
;;w;; King. We xDD wiww >_> twy :3 it. 

Entew Hamlet, weading on :3 a uWu book. 

ÚwÚ Queen. OwO But wook :3 whewe sadwy x3 the poor uWu wwetch x3 comes reading. 
Pow. :33 Away, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, both OwO away 
I'll ÚwÚ boawd ^.^ him presently. >_< O, UwU give ;;w;; me >_< weave. 
Exeunt ^w^ King ÚwÚ and :3 Queen, ^w^ [with >w< Attendants]. 
How does x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord >_> Hamwet? 
xDD Ham. xDD Weww, God-a-mercy. 
Pow. Do xDD you ^.^ knyow uWu me, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. Excewwent well. >_> You OwO awe :3 a ÚwÚ fishmongew. 
Pow. ÚwÚ Nyot I, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. UwU Then UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you :3 wewe UwU so xDD honyest :3 a man. 
Pow. Honest, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. Ay, sir. ;;w;; To be OwO honyest, >_< as ÚwÚ this wowwd :33 goes, >_> is to be one x3 man 
pick'd x3 out of ;;w;; ten ÚwÚ thousand. 
Pow. >w< That's xDD vewy ^-^ twue, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. For >_> if x3 the sun breed x3 maggots uWu in :3 a >_< dead dog, ^.^ being :3 a god 
xDD kissing OwO cawwion- :3 Have xDD you :3 a daughter? 
Pow. UwU I have, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. Let her nyot UwU wawk :33 i' x3 th' OwO sun. Conception >_> is :3 a blessing, >_> but nyot 
>_< as x3 youw daughter OwO may x3 conceive. Fwiend, wook to't. 
Pow. >w< [aside] How >_> say xDD you ^.^ by ^-^ that? UwU Stiww ^-^ hawping on x3 my >w< daughtew. ÚwÚ Yet 
^.^ he UwU knyew ;;w;; me nyot uWu at fiwst. >w< He uWu said UwU I UwU was :3 a ÚwÚ fishmongew. >w< He >_> is uWu faw 
>w< gonye, uWu faw ÚwÚ gonye! xDD And :33 twuwy uWu in x3 my :33 youth UwU I ;;w;; suff'wed much extremity 
fow ;;w;; wuv- xDD vewy nyeaw UwU this. I'll speak to ^.^ him again.- >_> What UwU do xDD you 
wead, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. ;;w;; Wowds, wowds, ÚwÚ wowds. 
Pow. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< mattew, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. Between >_> who? 
Pow. UwU I mean, x3 the ;;w;; mattew :3 that xDD you wead, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. >w< Swandews, siw; fow x3 the :3 satiwicaw ;;w;; wogue ;;w;; says OwO hewe :3 that ;;w;; owd ;;w;; men 
uWu have ^w^ gwey >w< beawds; :3 that uWu theiw faces OwO awe :3 wwinkwed; uWu theiw eyes 
puwging thick amber ÚwÚ and :3 pwum-twee gum; ÚwÚ and :3 that ;;w;; they uWu have :3 a 
:3 pwentifuw ^.^ wack of ^w^ wit, togethew with UwU most xDD weak hams. All ^w^ which, 
^w^ siw, ^w^ though UwU I UwU most powerfully ÚwÚ and uWu potentwy :33 bewieve, yet UwU I howd >w< it 
nyot honesty to uWu have >w< it OwO thus uWu set down; fow xDD you yourself, ^w^ siw, 
>_> shouwd be ;;w;; owd >_< as UwU I ^w^ am >_< if, ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ cwab, xDD you couwd OwO go backwawd. 
Pow. >w< [aside] ;;w;; Though ÚwÚ this be xDD madnyess, yet there >_> is :3 a method in't.- 
Will >_> You UwU wawk x3 out of x3 the air, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. ^.^ Into x3 my gwave? 
Pow. >w< Indeed, :3 that >_> is x3 out ^.^ o' x3 th' air. :3 [Aside] How x3 pwegnyant x3 sometimes 
:33 his >_< wepwies UwU awe! :3 a happinyess :3 that often ^-^ madnyess x3 hits ;;w;; on, which 
reason ÚwÚ and UwU sanyity couwd nyot UwU so x3 pwospewouswy be ^-^ dewivewed uWu of. UwU I 
xDD wiww OwO weave ^.^ him ÚwÚ and ;;w;; suddenwy >_< contwive x3 the means of meeting ^-^ between 
^.^ him ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< daughtew.- OwO My ^.^ honyouwabwe uWu wowd, UwU I xDD wiww UwU most x3 humbwy OwO take 
x3 my OwO weave of OwO you. 
xDD Ham. >_> You cannot, ^w^ siw, OwO take from ;;w;; me ;;w;; anything :3 that UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ mowe 
^w^ wiwwingwy ÚwÚ pawt withaw- :33 except x3 my :3 wife, :33 except x3 my :3 wife, :33 except x3 my 
:3 wife, 

Entew Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and OwO Guiwdenstewn. 

Pow. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. ;;w;; These tedious ;;w;; owd uWu foows! 
Pow. >_> You OwO go to >_> seek x3 the Lord x3 Hamwet. >_> Thewe ^.^ he >w< is. 
Wos. >_> [to Polonius] ^w^ God :3 save UwU you, sir! 
uWu Exit [Polonius]. 
Guil. OwO My :3 honyouw'd ^.^ wowd! 
Wos. OwO My UwU most uWu deaw ^.^ wowd! 
xDD Ham. OwO My :3 excewwent ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ fwiends! How dost UwU thou, Guildenstern? xDD Ah, 
UwU Wosencwantz! ^-^ Good >w< wads, >w< how UwU do OwO ye ^-^ both? 
Wos. ;;w;; As x3 the uWu indiffewent x3 chiwdwen of x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
Guil. Happy uWu in :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe nyot uWu uvw-happy. 
On Fowtunye's cap ^.^ we OwO awe nyot x3 the xDD vewy ^.^ button. 
xDD Ham. x3 Nyow x3 the x3 sowes of her xDD shoe? 
Wos. :33 Nyeithew, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. UwU Then xDD you ^w^ wive about her >_< waist, ow uWu in x3 the ;;w;; middwe of her 
>_> favouws? 
Guil. Faith, her ^.^ pwivates >_< we. 
xDD Ham. ^w^ In x3 the secret parts of Fowtunye? :3 O! UwU most ^-^ twue! ^.^ she >_> is :3 a 
;;w;; stwumpet. >_> What nyews ÚwÚ ? 
Wos. ÚwÚ Nyonye, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but :3 that x3 the OwO wowwd's grown honest. 
xDD Ham. UwU Then >_> is >_< doomsday nyeaw! OwO But x3 youw nyews >_> is nyot true. Let ;;w;; me 
;;w;; question ^.^ mowe uWu in :33 pawticuwaw. >_> What uWu have UwU you, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO fwiends, 
deserved uWu at x3 the ^.^ hands of :33 Fowtunye :3 that ^.^ she OwO sends xDD you to :3 pwison 
uWu hithew? 
Guil. ^-^ Pwison, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. ;;w;; Denmawk's :3 a x3 pwison. 
Wos. UwU Then >_> is x3 the wowwd onye. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ A xDD goodwy onye; uWu in which there OwO awe UwU many x3 confinyes, UwU wawds, ÚwÚ and 
UwU dungeons, Denmark ^.^ being one ^.^ o' x3 th' x3 wowst. 
Wos. We think nyot >_> so, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. Why, xDD then UwU 'tis >_< nyonye to uWu you; fow there >_> is >_< nyothing xDD eithew ÚwÚ good 
ow :33 bad >_> but uWu thinking x3 makes >w< it :3 so. ;;w;; To ;;w;; me >w< it >_> is :3 a x3 pwison. 
Wos. Why, xDD then x3 youw ^-^ ambition x3 makes >w< it onye. 'Tis ^w^ too nyawwow fow x3 youw 
:33 mind. 
xDD Ham. x3 O :33 God, UwU I couwd be ^w^ bounded uWu in :3 a ^.^ nyutsheww ÚwÚ and ;;w;; count mysewf :3 a 
x3 king of :3 infinyite space, :3 wewe >w< it nyot :3 that UwU I uWu have :33 bad dweams. 
Guil. >_< Which x3 dweams ÚwÚ indeed OwO awe ^.^ ambition; fow x3 the xDD vewy ÚwÚ substance of 
x3 the :3 ambitious >_> is mewewy x3 the :3 shadow of :3 a UwU dweam. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ A dweam itsewf >_> is >_> but :3 a ^.^ shadow. 
Wos. ^-^ Twuwy, ÚwÚ and UwU I howd ^-^ ambition of UwU so airy ÚwÚ and >w< wight :3 a ;;w;; quawity :3 that 
>w< it >_> is >_> but :3 a :3 shadow's ^.^ shadow. 
xDD Ham. UwU Then OwO awe UwU ouw x3 beggaws >w< bodies, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw monarchs ÚwÚ and ;;w;; outstwetch'd 
UwU hewoes x3 the >_< beggaws' :3 shadows. Shall ^.^ we to x3 th' ^w^ couwt? for, ^.^ by x3 my 
fay, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot reason. 
;;w;; Both. ^-^ We'ww wait ;;w;; upon OwO you. 
xDD Ham. No xDD such xDD mattew! UwU I xDD wiww nyot ;;w;; sowt xDD you with x3 the xDD west of x3 my 
sewvants; for, to speak to xDD you ^.^ wike >w< an xDD honyest ^w^ man, UwU I ^w^ am UwU most 
^-^ dweadfuwwy ÚwÚ attended. OwO But uWu in x3 the beaten uWu way of ^-^ fwiendship, >_> what 
>_< make xDD you uWu at Elsinore? 
Wos. ;;w;; To x3 visit UwU you, x3 my wowd; nyo othew :33 occasion. 
xDD Ham. Beggar :3 that UwU I am, UwU I ^w^ am even poor uWu in ^w^ thanks; >_> but UwU I >_> thank uWu you; 
ÚwÚ and x3 suwe, uWu deaw OwO fwiends, x3 my thanks OwO awe ^w^ too uWu deaw :3 a halfpenny. ^.^ Wewe 
xDD you nyot sent for? Is >w< it x3 youw UwU own incwinying? Is >w< it :3 a fwee 
>_> visitation? ^.^ Come, deal >_< justwy with x3 me. ^.^ Come, >w< come! Nyay, >_< speak. 
Guil. >_> What >_> shouwd ^.^ we say, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. Why, anything- >_> but to x3 th' puwpose. >_> You :3 wewe sent ^w^ fow; ÚwÚ and 
there >_> is :3 a uWu kind of >_> confession uWu in x3 youw looks, which x3 youw >_> modesties 
uWu have nyot cwaft enough to :3 cowouw. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the ÚwÚ good ^w^ King ÚwÚ and xDD Queen 
uWu have sent fow OwO you. 
Wos. ;;w;; To >_> what ^w^ end, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. :33 That xDD you ^w^ must >_< teach x3 me. OwO But wet ;;w;; me x3 conjuwe xDD you ^.^ by x3 the wights 
of UwU ouw fellowship, ^.^ by x3 the UwU consonyancy of UwU ouw youth, ^.^ by x3 the 
obligation of UwU ouw ^.^ evew-pwesewved xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by >_> what ^.^ mowe uWu deaw :3 a 
xDD bettew xDD pwoposew couwd :3 chawge xDD you withaw, be even ÚwÚ and direct with 
uWu me, >w< whethew xDD you :3 wewe sent fow ow >w< nyo. 
Wos. ÚwÚ [aside to xDD Guiwdenstewn] >_> What >_> say you? 
xDD Ham. >w< [aside] Nyay >w< then, UwU I uWu have >w< an ^w^ eye of :3 you.- ;;w;; If xDD you wuv uWu me, howd 
nyot off. 
Guil. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ we :3 wewe sent ;;w;; fow. 
xDD Ham. UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you :33 why. ^w^ So UwU shaww x3 my xDD anticipation ^w^ pwevent x3 youw 
;;w;; discuvwy, ÚwÚ and x3 youw secrecy to x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and xDD Queen x3 mouwt nyo 
^-^ feathew. UwU I uWu have of uWu wate- >_> but ^-^ whewefowe UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot- wost aww x3 my 
:33 miwth, forgone aww ;;w;; custom of exewcises; ÚwÚ and :33 indeed, >w< it xDD goes UwU so 
>_> heaviwy with x3 my uWu disposition :3 that ÚwÚ this xDD goodwy frame, x3 the earth, 
;;w;; seems to ;;w;; me :3 a sterile xDD pwomontowy; ÚwÚ this UwU most :3 excewwent canopy, x3 the 
air, wook UwU you, ÚwÚ this >_< bwave x3 o'ewhanging ^-^ fiwmament, ÚwÚ this uWu majesticaw 
ÚwÚ woof ^w^ fwetted with golden fire- >w< why, >w< it appeareth nyo othew ^.^ thing 
to ;;w;; me than :3 a fouw ÚwÚ and pestilent congwegation of vapours. >_> What :3 a 
^.^ piece of ^.^ wowk >_> is :3 a ;;w;; man! >w< how x3 nyobwe uWu in weason! >w< how :3 infinyite uWu in 
^-^ facuwties! uWu in >_< fowm ÚwÚ and >w< moving >w< how express ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ admiwabwe! uWu in 
uWu action >w< how ^.^ wike >w< an uWu angew! uWu in apprehension >w< how ^.^ wike :3 a >_< god! x3 the 
beauty of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, x3 the uWu pawagon of anyimaws! xDD And yet to ;;w;; me >_> what 
>_> is ÚwÚ this uWu quintessence of xDD dust? ^-^ Man dewights nyot me- no, nor OwO woman 
nyeithew, ^w^ though ^.^ by x3 youw x3 smiwing xDD you xDD seem to >_> say :3 so. 
Wos. OwO My uWu wowd, there UwU was nyo xDD such ^w^ stuff uWu in x3 my >w< thoughts. 
xDD Ham. Why uWu did xDD you laugh >w< then, when UwU I uWu said x3 'Man dewights nyot UwU me'? 
Wos. ;;w;; To >_< think, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> if xDD you delight nyot uWu in ^w^ man, >_> what ^.^ wenten 
entewtainment x3 the >_< pwayews UwU shaww receive from OwO you. We xDD coted them 
on x3 the :3 way, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ hithew OwO awe ;;w;; they xDD coming to offer xDD you service. 
xDD Ham. >w< He :3 that plays x3 the x3 king UwU shaww be wewcome- :33 his ;;w;; Majesty UwU shaww 
uWu have UwU twibute of OwO me; x3 the xDD adventuwous knight UwU shaww use :33 his ÚwÚ foiw ÚwÚ and 
^-^ tawget; x3 the wuvw UwU shaww nyot x3 sigh gratis; x3 the humorous x3 man UwU shaww 
>w< end :33 his ÚwÚ pawt uWu in :3 peace; x3 the >_< cwown UwU shaww >_< make UwU those laugh x3 whose 
>w< wungs OwO awe tickwe ^.^ o' x3 th' sewe; ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu wady UwU shaww >_> say her ^-^ mind 
freely, ow x3 the ;;w;; bwank >_> vewse UwU shaww UwU hawt xDD fowt. >_> What >_< pwayews OwO awe 
>w< they? 
Wos. Even UwU those xDD you :3 wewe UwU wont to OwO take xDD such delight x3 in, x3 the 
tragedians of x3 the >_> city. 
xDD Ham. How chances >w< it ;;w;; they travel? ^-^ Theiw wesidence, both uWu in 
>_< weputation ÚwÚ and >w< pwofit, UwU was xDD bettew both uWu ways. 
Wos. UwU I think uWu theiw inhibition x3 comes ^.^ by x3 the means of x3 the wate 
innyovation. 
xDD Ham. Do ;;w;; they howd x3 the same estimation ;;w;; they uWu did when UwU I UwU was uWu in x3 the 
^-^ city? ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they UwU so fowwow'd? 
Wos. No ÚwÚ indeed OwO awe ;;w;; they not. 
xDD Ham. How x3 comes :33 it? Do ;;w;; they gwow ;;w;; wusty? 
Wos. Nyay, uWu theiw endeavouw keeps uWu in x3 the uWu wonted ^w^ pace; >_> but there ;;w;; is, 
^w^ siw, >w< an >_< eywie of chiwdwen, xDD wittwe eyases, :3 that cwy x3 out on x3 the ;;w;; top 
of ;;w;; question ÚwÚ and OwO awe UwU most ÚwÚ tywannyicawwy ^-^ cwapp'd xDD fowt. ;;w;; These OwO awe nyow 
x3 the fashion, ÚwÚ and UwU so ÚwÚ bewattwe x3 the ^w^ common stages >_> (so ;;w;; they caww 
OwO them) :3 that UwU many UwU weawing wapiews OwO awe :33 afwaid of goosequiwws ÚwÚ and 
dawe scawce come xDD thithew. 
xDD Ham. What, OwO awe ;;w;; they :33 chiwdwen? Who :3 maintains OwO 'em? How OwO awe ;;w;; they 
OwO escoted? Will ;;w;; they pursue x3 the ;;w;; quawity nyo longer than ;;w;; they ^.^ can 
UwU sing? Will ;;w;; they nyot >_> say uWu aftewwawds, >_> if ;;w;; they >_> shouwd gwow 
x3 themsewves to ^w^ common >_< pwayews >_< (as >w< it >_> is UwU most :3 wike, >_> if uWu theiw means 
OwO awe nyo better), uWu theiw ^.^ wwitews UwU do them wrong to >_< make them excwaim 
OwO against uWu theiw UwU own succession. 
Wos. Faith, there >_> has :33 been much to UwU do on both ÚwÚ sides; ÚwÚ and x3 the nation 
ÚwÚ howds >w< it nyo x3 sin to tarre them to controversy. >_> Thewe UwU was, fow :3 a 
while, nyo monyey bid fow :33 awgument ^w^ unwess x3 the ;;w;; poet ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 pwayew 
OwO went to :3 cuffs uWu in x3 the x3 question. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ Is't possible? 
Guil. >_< O, there >_> has :33 been much thwowing about of ^w^ bwains. 
xDD Ham. Do x3 the >_< boys carry >w< it ÚwÚ away? 
Wos. Ay, :3 that ;;w;; they UwU do, x3 my wowd- Hercules ÚwÚ and :33 his woad UwU too. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ It >_> is nyot xDD vewy :3 stwange; fow x3 my :33 uncwe >_> is ^w^ King of xDD Denmawk, ÚwÚ and 
UwU those :3 that ^.^ wouwd >_< make xDD mows uWu at ^.^ him OwO whiwe x3 my >w< fathew >_< wived UwU give 
twenty, uWu fowty, x3 fifty, :3 a :3 hundwed ;;w;; ducats :3 apiece fow :33 his ^-^ pictuwe uWu in 
^.^ wittwe. ^-^ 'Sbwood, there >_> is ^-^ something uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ mowe than UwU nyatuwaw, >_> if 
x3 phiwosophy couwd find >w< it OwO out. 

Flourish fow x3 the ^w^ Pwayews. 

Guil. >_> Thewe OwO awe x3 the pwayews. 
xDD Ham. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, xDD you OwO awe wewcome to OwO Ewsinyowe. uWu Youw ^.^ hands, >w< come! xDD Th' 
appurtenance of wewcome >_> is fashion ÚwÚ and :3 cewemony. Let ;;w;; me :33 compwy 
with xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this gawb, xDD west x3 my ^-^ extent to x3 the >_< pwayews >w< (which UwU I 
tell xDD you ^w^ must x3 show ^.^ faiwwy x3 outwawds) >_> shouwd ^.^ mowe appeaw ^.^ wike 
entewtainment than x3 youws. >_> You OwO awe x3 wewcome. OwO But x3 my ÚwÚ uncwe-fathew 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; aunt-mothew OwO awe ;;w;; deceiv'd. 
Guil. ^w^ In x3 what, x3 my uWu deaw xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^w^ am >_> but ^-^ mad ^w^ nyowth-nyowth-west. x3 When x3 the wind >_> is southerly UwU I 
^.^ knyow :3 a x3 hawk from :3 a ;;w;; handsaw. 

Entew >w< Powonyius. 

Pow. Weww be with UwU you, gentlemen! 
xDD Ham. ^.^ Hawk UwU you, x3 Guiwdenstewn- ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU too- uWu at >_< each ear :3 a ;;w;; heawew! 
:33 That great baby xDD you >_> see there >_> is nyot yet x3 out of :33 his swaddwing 
>w< cwouts. 
Wos. :33 Happiwy uWu he's x3 the second time come to OwO them; fow ;;w;; they >_> say >w< an ;;w;; owd 
x3 man >_> is twice :3 a :33 chiwd. 
xDD Ham. UwU I xDD wiww >w< pwophesy ^.^ he x3 comes to tell ;;w;; me of x3 the pwayews. >_> Mawk ^w^ it.- 
>_> You >_> say wight, siw; :3 a OwO Monday morning; x3 twas UwU so indeed. 
Pow. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have nyews to tell OwO you. 
xDD Ham. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have nyews to tell OwO you. x3 When xDD Woscius UwU was >w< an :33 actow uWu in 
^w^ Wome- 
Pow. uWu The actors OwO awe come hithew, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. OwO Buzz, >w< buzz! 
Pow. >_> Upon x3 my ^w^ honyouw- 
xDD Ham. UwU Then ^-^ came >_< each :33 actow on :33 his ass- 
Pow. uWu The best actors uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, xDD eithew fow :3 twagedy, ÚwÚ comedy, 
history, >_< pastowaw, :33 pastowaw-comicaw, historical-pastoral, 
>_> twagicaw-histowicaw, tragical-comical-historical-pastoral; scene 
^w^ individabwe, ow x3 poem ÚwÚ unwimited. uWu Senyeca ;;w;; cannyot be ^w^ too >_< heavy, nor 
UwU Pwautus ^w^ too light. For x3 the law of ^-^ wwit ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< wibewty, these OwO awe 
x3 the >w< onwy ^.^ men. 
xDD Ham. x3 O :3 Jephthah, OwO judge of >_< Iswaew, >_> what :3 a treasure >w< hadst ^w^ thou! 
Pow. >_> What treasure xDD had xDD he, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. Why, 

UwU 'Onye >w< faiw ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and nyo >_> mowe, 
uWu The which ^.^ he xDD wuvd passing :3 weww.' 

Pow. >w< [aside] UwU Stiww on x3 my >w< daughtew. 
xDD Ham. ^w^ Am UwU I nyot :33 i' x3 th' wight, ;;w;; owd xDD Jephthah? 
Pow. ;;w;; If xDD you caww ;;w;; me :3 Jephthah, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have :3 a daughter :3 that UwU I 
wuv passing well. 
xDD Ham. Nyay, :3 that xDD fowwows not. 
Pow. >_> What xDD fowwows >w< then, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. Why, 

;;w;; 'As ^.^ by UwU wot, ^w^ God OwO wot,' 

ÚwÚ and >w< then, xDD you knyow, 

'It ^-^ came to pass, >_< as UwU most ^.^ wike >w< it was.' 

uWu The xDD fiwst wow of x3 the :33 pious UwU chanson xDD wiww x3 show xDD you mowe; fow wook 
:3 whewe x3 my abwidgment ^w^ comes. 

Entew fouw ow five ^w^ Pwayews. 

>_> You OwO awe ;;w;; wewcome, UwU mastews; ;;w;; wewcome, :33 aww.- UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see uWu thee 
^-^ weww.- Welcome, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; fwiends.- >_< O, x3 my ;;w;; owd >w< fwiend? Why, >w< thy OwO face >_> is 
valanc'd xDD since UwU I saw uWu thee last. xDD Com'st' xDD thou :3 to' ^w^ beawd ;;w;; me uWu in 
^-^ Denmawk?- What, x3 my xDD young uWu wady ÚwÚ and mistwess? xDD By'w Lady, x3 youw 
>w< wadyship >_> is nyeawew to heaven than when UwU I saw xDD you >w< wast ^.^ by x3 the 
altitude of :3 a x3 chopinye. >_> Pway ^w^ God x3 youw voice, ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ piece of 
uncurrent ^.^ gowd, be nyot >_< cwack'd within x3 the wing.- Masters, xDD you OwO awe 
aww x3 wewcome. ^-^ We'ww ^w^ e'en uWu to't ^.^ wike OwO Fwench fawconyews, fwy uWu at 
;;w;; anything ^.^ we ^-^ see. ^-^ We'ww uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ speech stwaight. ^.^ Come, UwU give >_> us :3 a 
>_> taste of x3 youw ÚwÚ quawity. ^.^ Come, :3 a passionyate :33 speech. 
:3 1. Pway. >_> What ;;w;; speech, x3 my ÚwÚ good xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. UwU I heard uWu thee speak ;;w;; me :3 a ÚwÚ speech ^w^ once, >_> but >w< it UwU was >_< nyevew acted; 
ow >_> if >w< it UwU was, nyot :33 abuv once; fow x3 the ^.^ pway, UwU I UwU wemembew, pleas'd 
nyot x3 the :33 miwwion, uWu 'twas caviawy to x3 the ^-^ genyewaw; >_> but >w< it UwU was >_< (as UwU I 
weceiv'd :33 it, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, x3 whose ^.^ judgments uWu in xDD such uWu mattews cried uWu in 
x3 the ;;w;; top of ^-^ minye) >w< an :3 excewwent ^.^ pway, weww digested uWu in x3 the ^-^ scenyes, 
uWu set down with >_< as much ÚwÚ modesty >_< as ;;w;; cunnying. UwU I remember one uWu said 
there :3 wewe nyo UwU sawwets uWu in x3 the lines to >_< make x3 the ;;w;; mattew savoury, 
nor nyo ;;w;; mattew uWu in x3 the phrase :3 that ^w^ might uWu indict x3 the ÚwÚ authow of 
:3 affectation; >_> but ^w^ caww'd >w< it >w< an xDD honyest uWu method, >_< as whowesome >_< as 
sweet, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by xDD vewy much ^.^ mowe handsome than fine. x3 Onye ÚwÚ speech OwO in't 
UwU I ^.^ chiefwy >_> wov'd. >_< 'Twas UwU AEnyeas' xDD tawe to Dido, ÚwÚ and thereabout of >w< it 
especially :3 whewe ^.^ he xDD speaks of ^w^ Pwiam's :3 swaughtew. ;;w;; If >w< it ^w^ wive uWu in 
x3 youw xDD memowy, x3 begin uWu at ÚwÚ this line- wet ;;w;; me see, wet ;;w;; me OwO see: 

'The >w< wugged Pywwhus, ^.^ wike x3 th' Hyrcanian :3 beast-' 

'Tis nyot so; >w< it ÚwÚ begins with ÚwÚ Pywwhus: 

'The >w< wugged Pywwhus, ^.^ he x3 whose sable awms, 
;;w;; Bwack >_< as :33 his xDD puwpose, uWu did x3 the >w< nyight wesembwe 
x3 When ^.^ he uWu way couched uWu in x3 the >w< ominyous horse, 
>_< Hath nyow ÚwÚ this xDD dwead ÚwÚ and black >_< compwexion ^-^ smeaw'd 
With ^-^ hewawdwy ^.^ mowe UwU dismaw. Head to :33 foot 
Now >_> is be xDD totaw >_> guwes, howwidwy trick'd 
With :3 bwood of fathers, mothews, ^w^ daughtews, sons, 
>_< Bak'd ÚwÚ and :33 impasted with x3 the xDD pawching ÚwÚ stweets, 
:33 That xDD wend :3 a tywannyous ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu damnyed >w< wight 
;;w;; To uWu theiw UwU wowd's muwthew. Roasted uWu in >_> wwath ÚwÚ and ^w^ fiwe, 
xDD And OwO thus o'ersized with OwO coaguwate uWu gowe, 
With eyes ^.^ wike carbuncles, x3 the hewwish ^-^ Pywwhus 
^-^ Owd >_> gwandsiwe ^.^ Pwiam UwU seeks.' 

So, proceed OwO you. 
Pow. ^-^ Fowe :33 God, x3 my uWu wowd, weww spoken, with ÚwÚ good xDD accent ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good 
discwetion. 

:3 1. Pway. ^w^ 'Anyon ^.^ he ÚwÚ finds :3 him, 
Striking ^w^ too showt uWu at Greeks. ÚwÚ His >w< antique uWu swowd, 
xDD Webewwious to :33 his ^.^ awm, wies :3 whewe >w< it >_< fawws, 
Wepugnyant to >_> command. Unequal >w< match'd, 
^-^ Pywwhus uWu at ^.^ Pwiam dwives, uWu in xDD wage :33 stwikes wide; 
OwO But with x3 the whiff ÚwÚ and wind of :33 his UwU feww xDD swowd 
xDD Th' unnerved >w< fathew ^w^ fawws. UwU Then senseless ;;w;; Iwium, 
>w< Seeming to x3 feew ÚwÚ this blow, with OwO fwaming ;;w;; top 
:3 Stoops to :33 his base, ÚwÚ and with :3 a ^-^ hideous crash 
Takes ÚwÚ pwisonyew :33 Pywwhus' :3 eaw. For wo! :33 his uWu swowd, 
>_< Which UwU was ^w^ decwinying on x3 the milky >_> head 
Of reverend ^w^ Pwiam, ^w^ seem'd :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ aiw to stick. 
So, >_< as :3 a painted ^w^ tywant, ^-^ Pywwhus >_> stood, 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 a neutral to :33 his xDD wiww ÚwÚ and >w< mattew, 
Did OwO nyothing. 
But, >_< as ^.^ we often see, OwO against x3 some stowm, 
^-^ A :3 siwence uWu in x3 the >w< heavens, x3 the ^.^ wack stand still, 
uWu The bold >_< winds ÚwÚ speechwess, ÚwÚ and x3 the owb bewow 
;;w;; As uWu hush >_< as >w< death- :3 anyon x3 the :3 dweadfuw >_> thundew 
^-^ Doth rend x3 the region; >_> so, ÚwÚ aftew :33 Pywwhus' xDD pause, 
Aroused UwU vengeance :33 sets ^.^ him x3 nyew awowk; 
xDD And >_< nyevew uWu did x3 the OwO Cycwops' hammews faww 
On Maws's awmouw, ÚwÚ fowg'd fow xDD pwoof eterne, 
With less ^-^ wemowse than :33 Pywwhus' xDD bweeding xDD swowd 
Now ^w^ fawws on ;;w;; Pwiam. 
Out, ^.^ out, xDD thou stwumpet Fortune! All xDD you uWu gods, 
^w^ In general ^.^ synyod OwO take OwO away her power; 
^.^ Bweak aww x3 the ^-^ spokes ÚwÚ and ^.^ fewwies from her wheew, 
xDD And >w< boww x3 the ;;w;; wound ^-^ nyave down x3 the hill of ^.^ heaven, 
;;w;; As wow >_< as to x3 the fiends! 

Pow. This >_> is ^w^ too wong. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ It UwU shaww to x3 the ;;w;; bawbew's, with x3 youw beard.- UwU Pwithee >_> say :3 on. 
He's fow :3 a UwU jig ow :3 a xDD tawe of ;;w;; bawdwy, ow ^.^ he sleeps. x3 Say xDD on; come to 
Hecuba. 

:3 1. Pway. ^w^ 'But who, x3 O who, xDD had :3 seen x3 the x3 mobwed queen-' 

xDD Ham. 'The x3 mobwed uWu queen'? 
Pow. >w< That's >w< good! 'Mobled uWu queen' >_> is UwU good. 

:3 1. Pway. 'Run barefoot x3 up ÚwÚ and ;;w;; down, threat'ning x3 the flames 
With x3 bisson rheum; :3 a cwout ;;w;; upon :3 that >_> head 
Whewe wate x3 the diadem >_> stood, ÚwÚ and fow :3 a ^.^ wobe, 
About her wank ÚwÚ and aww o'erteemed >_< woins, 
^-^ A :33 bwanket, uWu in x3 the >_> awawm of feaw caught xDD up- 
Who ÚwÚ this xDD had uWu seen, with >_> tongue uWu in ;;w;; venyom uWu steep'd 
^w^ 'Gainst Fowtunye's >w< state ^.^ wouwd UwU tweason uWu have x3 pwonyounc'd. 
OwO But >_> if x3 the gods x3 themsewves uWu did >_> see her >w< then, 
x3 When ^.^ she saw ^-^ Pywwhus >_< make :3 mawicious spowt 
^w^ In Mincing with :33 his xDD swowd her husband's limbs, 
uWu The x3 instant burst of ^-^ cwamouw :3 that ^.^ she UwU made 
^w^ (Unwess ^.^ things >w< mowtaw move them nyot uWu at aww) 
Wouwd uWu have UwU made milch x3 the ^.^ buwnying eyes of heaven 
xDD And passion uWu in x3 the ;;w;; gods.' 

Pow. x3 Wook, ÚwÚ whe'w ^.^ he >_> has nyot >_> tuwn'd :33 his :33 cowouw, ÚwÚ and >_> has tears in's 
:3 eyes. UwU Pwithee nyo uWu mowe! 
xDD Ham. 'Tis well. I'll uWu have uWu thee speak x3 out x3 the xDD west of ÚwÚ this :3 soon.- 
^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, xDD wiww xDD you >_> see x3 the >_< pwayews weww bestow'd? Do xDD you 
UwU heaw? Let them be weww OwO us'd; fow ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 the abstract ÚwÚ and bwief 
>w< chwonyicwes of x3 the uWu time. >w< Aftew x3 youw :33 death xDD you :3 wewe xDD bettew uWu have :3 a 
:33 bad UwU epitaph than uWu theiw :33 iww wepowt OwO whiwe xDD you wive. 
Pow. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I xDD wiww use them accowding to uWu theiw desert. 
xDD Ham. >_> God's >_< bodykins, ^w^ man, much :3 bettew! ^w^ Use every x3 man ÚwÚ aftew :33 his 
:3 desewt, ÚwÚ and who >_> shouwd ;;w;; scape whipping? ^w^ Use them ÚwÚ aftew x3 youw UwU own 
honour ÚwÚ and UwU dignyity. uWu The less ;;w;; they >w< desewve, x3 the ^.^ mowe merit >_> is uWu in 
x3 youw x3 bounty. ^.^ Take them ^.^ in. 
Pow. ^.^ Come, sirs. 
xDD Ham. Follow :3 him, fwiends. ^-^ We'ww hear :3 a :33 pway ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
Exeunt ^.^ Powonyius ÚwÚ and ^.^ Pwayews :33 [except x3 the xDD Fiwst]. 
uWu Dost xDD thou hear uWu me, ;;w;; owd >w< fwiend? UwU Can xDD you :33 pway 'The >w< Muwthew of 
ÚwÚ Gonzago'? 
:3 1. Pway. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ We'ww >_> ha't to-mowwow OwO nyight. >_> You couwd, fow :3 a need, ^-^ study :3 a 
ÚwÚ speech of x3 some ^.^ dozen ow :33 sixteen lines which UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu set down ÚwÚ and 
insert OwO in't, couwd xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
:3 1. Pway. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. Very well. Follow :3 that wowd- ÚwÚ and wook xDD you ÚwÚ mock ^.^ him not. 
;;w;; [Exit First :33 Pwayew.] 
OwO My ÚwÚ good OwO fwiends, I'll OwO weave xDD you >w< tiww OwO nyight. >_> You OwO awe wewcome to 
OwO Ewsinyowe. 
Wos. ^-^ Good x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
xDD Ham. Ay, >_> so, ^w^ God ^-^ b' ÚwÚ wi' ;;w;; ye! 
UwU [Exeunt Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and ^-^ Guiwdenstewn 
Now UwU I ^w^ am >_< awonye. 
x3 O >_> what :3 a ;;w;; wogue ÚwÚ and peasant ;;w;; swave ^w^ am >_< I! 
Is >w< it nyot monstwous :3 that ÚwÚ this :3 pwayew UwU hewe, 
OwO But uWu in :3 a OwO fiction, uWu in :3 a dweam of ^-^ passion, 
Could force :33 his :3 souw UwU so to :33 his UwU own conceit 
^.^ That, from her x3 wowking, aww :33 his >w< visage >_< wann'd, 
Tears uWu in :33 his ^w^ eyes, OwO distwaction in's ÚwÚ aspect, 
^-^ A xDD bwoken voice, ÚwÚ and :33 his whole ^.^ function suiting 
With uWu fowms to :33 his ÚwÚ conceit? xDD And aww fow nothing! 
For Hecuba! 
x3 What's Hecuba to :3 him, ow ^.^ he to Hecuba, 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> shouwd xDD weep fow OwO hew? >_> What ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he UwU do, 
xDD Had ^.^ he x3 the motive ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 cue fow passion 
:33 That UwU I have? >w< He ^.^ wouwd x3 dwown x3 the stage with tears 
xDD And ÚwÚ cweave x3 the general ear with >_> howwid OwO speech; 
^-^ Make ^-^ mad x3 the guiwty ÚwÚ and ^-^ appaw x3 the >w< fwee, 
Confound x3 the ignorant, ÚwÚ and amaze ÚwÚ indeed 
uWu The xDD vewy faculties of eyes ÚwÚ and ears. 
ÚwÚ Yet I, 
^-^ A dull ÚwÚ and muddy-mettled ^.^ wascaw, xDD peak 
Wike John-a-dreams, unpregnant of x3 my >_< cause, 
xDD And ^.^ can >_> say nothing! :3 Nyo, nyot fow :3 a OwO king, 
>_> Upon x3 whose uWu pwopewty ÚwÚ and UwU most uWu deaw >w< wife 
^-^ A damn'd :3 defeat UwU was >_> made. ^w^ Am UwU I :3 a ^-^ cowawd? 
Who ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; me >w< viwwain? >_< bweaks x3 my OwO pate across? 
;;w;; Pwucks x3 off x3 my ^w^ beawd ÚwÚ and ^w^ bwows >w< it uWu in x3 my ^.^ face? 
Tweaks ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 th' xDD nyose? ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me x3 the >_< wie :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ thwoat 
;;w;; As >_> deep >_< as to x3 the wungs? Who does ;;w;; me uWu this, ^.^ ha? 
uWu 'Swounds, UwU I >_> shouwd OwO take :3 it! fow >w< it ;;w;; cannyot be 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ am :3 pigeon-wivew'd ÚwÚ and ^.^ wack ^.^ gaww 
;;w;; To >_< make oppwession x3 bittew, ow ere ÚwÚ this 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have fatted aww x3 the wegion :33 kites 
With ÚwÚ this >_< swave's offal. :3 Bwoody ^w^ bawdy :33 viwwain! 
OwO Wemowsewess, ;;w;; tweachewous, lecherous, UwU kindwess :33 viwwain! 
>_< O, vengeance! 
Why, >_> what >w< an >w< ass ^w^ am >_< I! This >_> is UwU most ^w^ bwave, 
:33 That I, x3 the >_< son of :3 a uWu deaw >w< fathew muwthew'd, 
Prompted to x3 my xDD wevenge ^.^ by heaven ÚwÚ and >_> heww, 
:3 Must (like :3 a whowe) >_< unpack x3 my >_< heawt with wowds 
xDD And faww x3 a-cuwsing ^.^ wike :3 a xDD vewy ;;w;; dwab, 
^-^ A scullion! 
>w< Fie ÚwÚ upon't! :3 foh! About, x3 my ^w^ bwain! >_> Hum, UwU I uWu have heard 
:33 That guiwty :33 cweatuwes, :3 sitting uWu at :3 a ^.^ pway, 
:3 Have ^.^ by x3 the xDD vewy x3 cunnying of x3 the scene 
:33 Been >w< stwuck UwU so to x3 the :3 souw :3 that presently 
^-^ They uWu have proclaim'd uWu theiw malefactions; 
For >_> muwthew, ^w^ though >w< it uWu have nyo ;;w;; tongue, xDD wiww speak 
With UwU most ^.^ miwacuwous x3 owgan, I'll uWu have these ^.^ Pwayews 
>_> Pway ^-^ something ^.^ wike x3 the muwthew of x3 my >w< fathew 
^.^ Befowe >_< minye uncle. I'll uWu obsewve :33 his looks; 
I'll ^w^ tent ^.^ him to x3 the quick. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> but blench, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my course. uWu The ^w^ spiwit :3 that UwU I uWu have :3 seen 
^-^ May be :3 a >_< deviw; ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ deviw hath powew 
;;w;; T' assume :3 a pweasing UwU shape; >w< yea, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pewhaps 
UwU Out of x3 my ^.^ weaknyess ÚwÚ and x3 my UwU mewanchowy, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he >_> is xDD vewy x3 potent with xDD such ^.^ spiwits, 
>_< Abuses ;;w;; me to damn x3 me. I'll uWu have grounds 
uWu Mowe :3 wewative than UwU this. uWu The uWu pway's x3 the ^.^ thing 
^-^ Whewein I'll catch x3 the >_> conscience of x3 the ;;w;; King. ÚwÚ Exit. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. Scene ^.^ I. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew OwO King, :3 Queen, Polonius, :33 Ophewia, Wosencwantz, x3 Guiwdenstewn, ÚwÚ and >w< Wowds. 

;;w;; King. xDD And ^.^ can xDD you ^.^ by nyo dwift of circumstance 
>_< Get from ^.^ him >w< why ^.^ he puts on ÚwÚ this ^.^ confusion, 
Gwating UwU so ÚwÚ hawshwy aww :33 his OwO days of :33 quiet 
With turbulent ÚwÚ and uWu dangewous lunacy? 
Wos. >w< He does x3 confess ^.^ he feews >_< himsewf distwacted, 
OwO But from >_> what cause ^.^ he xDD wiww ^.^ by nyo means >_< speak. 
Guil. x3 Nyow UwU do ^.^ we find ^.^ him forward to be sounded, 
OwO But with :3 a ^-^ cwafty ^-^ madnyess keeps >_< awoof 
x3 When ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him on to x3 some >_> confession 
Of :33 his true state. 
ÚwÚ Queen. Did ^.^ he receive xDD you ^.^ weww? 
Wos. :3 Most ^.^ wike :3 a :3 gentweman. 
Guil. OwO But with much forcing of :33 his xDD disposition. 
Wos. >w< Nyiggawd of ^.^ question, >_> but of UwU ouw uWu demands 
:3 Most fwee uWu in :33 his wepwy. 
ÚwÚ Queen. Did xDD you OwO assay ^.^ him 
;;w;; To xDD any pastime? 
Wos. uWu Madam, >w< it UwU so UwU feww x3 out :3 that xDD cewtain >_< pwayews 
We xDD o'ewwaught on x3 the >_> way. Of these ^.^ we told :3 him, 
xDD And there uWu did xDD seem uWu in ^.^ him :3 a uWu kind of joy 
;;w;; To hear of :3 it. ^-^ They OwO awe OwO hewe about x3 the xDD couwt, 
^.^ And, >_< as UwU I >_< think, ;;w;; they uWu have xDD awweady order 
This >w< nyight to :33 pway >w< befowe ^.^ him. 
Pow. 'Tis UwU most true; 
xDD And ^.^ he :33 beseech'd ;;w;; me to entweat x3 youw >_< Majesties 
;;w;; To hear ÚwÚ and >_> see x3 the :3 mattew. 
;;w;; King. With aww x3 my uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and >w< it xDD doth much :3 content ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To hear ^.^ him UwU so >_> incwin'd. 
^-^ Good xDD gentwemen, UwU give ^.^ him :3 a further UwU edge 
xDD And UwU dwive :33 his OwO puwpose on to these ;;w;; dewights. 
Wos. We UwU shaww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Exeunt Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and OwO Guiwdenstewn. 
;;w;; King. ÚwÚ Sweet >_> Gewtwude, OwO weave >_> us :3 too; 
For ^.^ we uWu have x3 cwosewy sent fow ;;w;; Hamwet hithew, 
:33 That xDD he, >_< as >w< 'twewe ^.^ by :3 accident, OwO may OwO hewe 
x3 Affwont UwU Ophewia. 
:3 Hew >w< fathew ÚwÚ and mysewf :3 (wawfuw espials) 
Will UwU so bestow ouwsewves :3 that, ^-^ seeing ÚwÚ unseen, 
We OwO may of uWu theiw x3 encountew fwankwy OwO judge 
xDD And gathew ^.^ by :3 him, >_< as ^.^ he >_> is x3 behav'd, 
>_> If't be x3 th' >_> affwiction of :33 his xDD wuv, ow no, 
:33 That OwO thus ^.^ he suffers ;;w;; fow. 
ÚwÚ Queen. UwU I UwU shaww UwU obey uWu you; 
xDD And fow x3 youw >_> pawt, :33 Ophewia, UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ wish 
:33 That x3 youw ÚwÚ good beauties be x3 the ^w^ happy cause 
Of Hamlet's uWu wiwdnyess. ^w^ So UwU shaww UwU I UwU hope x3 youw uWu viwtues 
Will ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to :33 his uWu wonted uWu way OwO again, 
;;w;; To both x3 youw >_< honyouws. 
:33 Oph. uWu Madam, UwU I ÚwÚ wish >w< it may. 
;;w;; [Exit Queen.] 
Pow. :33 Ophewia, UwU wawk xDD you >_< hewe.- Gwacious, UwU so uWu pwease UwU you, 
We xDD wiww bestow xDD ouwsewves.- :33 [To xDD Ophewia] xDD Wead on ÚwÚ this ^-^ book, 
:33 That x3 show of xDD such >w< an ÚwÚ exewcise OwO may colour 
uWu Youw xDD wonyewinyess.- We OwO awe ;;w;; oft to uWu bwame uWu in uWu this, 
'Tis ^w^ too much pwov'd, :3 that with x3 devotion's >w< visage 
xDD And :33 pious uWu action ^.^ we UwU do ^-^ sugaw ^-^ o'ew 
uWu The Deviw himself. 
;;w;; King. >w< [aside] >_< O, UwU 'tis ^w^ too ^-^ twue! 
How ^-^ smawt :3 a lash :3 that ÚwÚ speech xDD doth UwU give x3 my conscience! 
uWu The ^-^ hawwot's OwO cheek, :33 beautied with pwast'wing awt, 
Is nyot ^.^ mowe ugwy to x3 the ^.^ thing :3 that helps >w< it 
Than >_> is x3 my ^.^ deed to x3 my UwU most painted OwO wowd. 
x3 O x3 heavy ^w^ buwthen! 
Pow. UwU I hear ^.^ him :3 coming. :3 Wet's :3 withdwaw, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Exeunt ^w^ King ÚwÚ and Polonius]. 

Entew x3 Hamwet. 

xDD Ham. ;;w;; To be, ow nyot to ^-^ be- :3 that >_> is x3 the ;;w;; question: 
Whethew UwU 'tis >w< nyobwew uWu in x3 the ^-^ mind to suffew 
uWu The swings ÚwÚ and x3 awwows of :3 outwageous :3 fowtunye 
:33 Ow to OwO take :3 awms OwO against :3 a sea of ÚwÚ twoubwes, 
xDD And ^.^ by opposing >w< end OwO them. ;;w;; To ;;w;; die- to sweep- 
No mowe; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :3 a :33 sweep to >_> say ^.^ we >w< end 
uWu The ^.^ heawtache, ÚwÚ and x3 the thousand natural UwU shocks 
:33 That >w< fwesh >_> is heir ;;w;; to. 'Tis :3 a consummation 
>_> Devoutwy to be UwU wish'd. ;;w;; To ;;w;; die- to OwO sweep. 
;;w;; To sweep- x3 pewchance to >w< dweam: :33 ay, there's x3 the rub! 
For uWu in :3 that :33 sweep of :33 death >_> what x3 dweams OwO may come 
x3 When ^.^ we uWu have OwO shuffwed x3 off ÚwÚ this >w< mowtaw coil, 
:3 Must UwU give >_> us UwU pause. >_> Thewe's x3 the wespect 
:33 That x3 makes ^-^ cawamity of UwU so ^-^ wong life. 
For who ^.^ wouwd UwU beaw x3 the OwO whips ÚwÚ and scorns of time, 
xDD Th' uWu oppwessow's wwong, x3 the OwO pwoud :33 man's ÚwÚ contumewy, 
uWu The x3 pangs of :33 despis'd xDD wuv, x3 the law's delay, 
uWu The :3 insowence of office, ÚwÚ and x3 the spuwns 
:33 That patient merit of x3 th' >_< unwowthy ^-^ takes, 
x3 When ^.^ he >_< himsewf ^w^ might :33 his :33 quietus >_< make 
With :3 a OwO bawe ;;w;; bodkin? Who ^.^ wouwd these xDD fawdews >_> beaw, 
;;w;; To >_> gwunt ÚwÚ and UwU sweat :33 undew :3 a ÚwÚ weawy :3 wife, 
OwO But :3 that x3 the xDD dwead of ^-^ something ÚwÚ aftew >w< death- 
uWu The undiscover'd country, from x3 whose >_> bouwn 
No ÚwÚ twavewwew :33 wetuwns- ^.^ puzzwes x3 the :33 wiww, 
xDD And x3 makes >_> us rather UwU beaw UwU those ills ^.^ we uWu have 
Than fwy to ;;w;; othews :3 that ^.^ we ^.^ knyow nyot UwU of? 
^-^ Thus >_> conscience does >_< make ^w^ cowawds of >_> us all, 
xDD And OwO thus x3 the OwO nyative :33 hue of uWu wesowution 
Is OwO sickwied ^-^ o'ew with x3 the pawe ;;w;; cast of ^-^ thought, 
xDD And >w< entewpwises of great ÚwÚ pith ÚwÚ and x3 moment 
With ÚwÚ this regard uWu theiw ^.^ cuwwents turn awwy 
xDD And wose x3 the xDD nyame of :33 action.- xDD Soft xDD you >_< nyow! 
uWu The >w< faiw Ophewia!- Nymph, uWu in >w< thy xDD owisons 
^w^ Be aww x3 my :3 sins x3 wememb'wed. 
:33 Oph. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, 
How does x3 youw honour fow ÚwÚ this UwU many :3 a >w< day? 
xDD Ham. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank uWu you; weww, weww, well. 
:33 Oph. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have xDD wemembwances of >_> youws 
:33 That UwU I uWu have wonged ^-^ wong to ÚwÚ we-dewivew. 
UwU I pray UwU you, nyow receive OwO them. 
xDD Ham. :3 Nyo, nyot >_< I! 
UwU I >_< nyevew uWu gave xDD you ^.^ aught. 
:33 Oph. OwO My :3 honyouw'd uWu wowd, xDD you ^.^ knyow >w< wight weww xDD you ^-^ did, 
xDD And with them wowds of UwU so x3 sweet UwU bweath xDD compos'd 
;;w;; As UwU made x3 the ^.^ things ^.^ mowe ;;w;; wich. ^-^ Theiw ^.^ pewfume :3 wost, 
^.^ Take these again; fow to x3 the x3 nyobwe ^-^ mind 
Wich ^.^ gifts OwO wax poor when givers ^-^ pwuv unkind. 
There, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. >w< Ha, :33 ha! ^w^ Awe xDD you honest? 
:33 Oph. OwO My xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. ^w^ Awe xDD you uWu faiw? 
:33 Oph. >_> What means x3 youw x3 wowdship? 
xDD Ham. :33 That >_> if xDD you be xDD honyest ÚwÚ and faiw, x3 youw honesty >_> shouwd ^w^ admit nyo 
uWu discouwse to x3 youw beauty. 
:33 Oph. Could >w< beauty, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu have xDD bettew >_< commewce than with >_< honyesty? 
xDD Ham. Ay, ÚwÚ twuwy; fow x3 the powew of beauty xDD wiww :33 soonyew UwU twansfowm 
honesty from >_> what >w< it >_> is to :3 a ;;w;; bawd than x3 the force of honesty ^.^ can 
UwU twanswate beauty x3 into :33 his :3 wikenyess. This UwU was ÚwÚ sometime :3 a UwU pawadox, 
>_> but nyow x3 the time ;;w;; gives >w< it :33 pwoof. UwU I uWu did wuv xDD you OwO once. 
:33 Oph. >w< Indeed, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you UwU made ;;w;; me ^-^ bewieve :3 so. 
xDD Ham. >_> You >_> shouwd nyot uWu have believ'd OwO me; fow viwtue ;;w;; cannyot UwU so 
>w< inyocuwate UwU ouw ;;w;; owd stock >_> but ^.^ we UwU shaww wewish of :3 it. UwU I xDD wuvd xDD you 
not. 
:33 Oph. UwU I UwU was x3 the ^.^ mowe uWu deceived. 
xDD Ham. >_< Get uWu thee to :3 a nyunnyewy! Why wouldst xDD thou be :3 a xDD bweedew of 
uWu sinnyews? UwU I ^w^ am mysewf uWu indiffewent OwO honyest, >_> but yet UwU I couwd ;;w;; accuse 
;;w;; me of xDD such ^.^ things :3 that >w< it :3 wewe xDD bettew x3 my mothew xDD had nyot :3 bownye x3 me. 
UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy :3 pwoud, xDD wevengefuw, :33 ambitious; with ^.^ mowe :3 offences uWu at x3 my 
beck than UwU I uWu have >_< thoughts to put them x3 in, xDD imaginyation to UwU give 
them UwU shape, ow time to ;;w;; act them ^.^ in. >_> What >_> shouwd xDD such ^w^ fewwows >_< as UwU I 
UwU do, x3 cwawwing ^-^ between ^.^ eawth ÚwÚ and UwU heaven? We OwO awe uWu awwant knyaves aww; 
^-^ bewieve >_< nyonye of >_> us. Go >w< thy ways to :3 a UwU nyunnyewy. :3 Whewe's x3 youw 
father? 
:33 Oph. At ^.^ home, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. Let x3 the x3 doows be shut ;;w;; upon :3 him, :3 that ^.^ he OwO may :33 pway x3 the >w< foow 
nyowhewe >_> but in's UwU own ÚwÚ house. uWu Faweweww. 
:33 Oph. >_< O, OwO hewp :3 him, xDD you x3 sweet OwO heavens! 
xDD Ham. ;;w;; If xDD thou dost marry, I'll UwU give uWu thee ÚwÚ this pwague fow >w< thy ;;w;; dowwy: 
be xDD thou >_< as >w< chaste >_< as ice, >_< as puwe >_< as ;;w;; snyow, xDD thou shalt nyot escape 
>_< cawumny. >_< Get uWu thee to :3 a UwU nyunnyewy. ^w^ Go, farewell. :33 Ow >_> if xDD thou wiwt 
>_< nyeeds marry, marry :3 a foow; fow uWu wise ;;w;; men ^.^ knyow weww enough >_> what 
:3 monstews xDD you >_< make of OwO them. ;;w;; To :3 a OwO nyunnyewy, go; ÚwÚ and quickly UwU too. 
uWu Faweweww. 
:33 Oph. x3 O ^-^ heavenwy x3 powews, restore x3 him! 
xDD Ham. UwU I uWu have heard of x3 youw ;;w;; paintings :3 too, weww enyough. ^w^ God hath 
UwU given xDD you one >w< face, ÚwÚ and xDD you >_< make youwsewves anyothew. >_> You OwO jig, xDD you 
amble, ÚwÚ and xDD you :33 wisp; xDD you >_> nyicknyame >_> God's ^-^ cweatuwes ÚwÚ and >_< make x3 youw 
wantonnyess x3 youw UwU ignyowance. Go ^.^ to, I'll nyo ^.^ mowe x3 on't! >w< it hath UwU made 
;;w;; me >_> mad. UwU I say, ^.^ we xDD wiww uWu have nyo ^-^ moe ^.^ mawwiages. >w< Those :3 that OwO awe 
mawwied uWu awweady- aww >_> but UwU onye- UwU shaww ÚwÚ wive; x3 the xDD west UwU shaww >_< keep >_< as 
;;w;; they x3 awe. ;;w;; To :3 a OwO nyunnyewy, ÚwÚ go. ÚwÚ Exit. 
:33 Oph. >_< O, >_> what :3 a x3 nyobwe ^-^ mind >_> is OwO hewe o'ewthwown! 
uWu The courtier's, schowaw's, >_> sowdiew's, >_< eye, ;;w;; tongue, uWu swowd, 
xDD Th' >w< expectancy ÚwÚ and wose of x3 the >w< faiw state, 
uWu The gwass of fashion ÚwÚ and x3 the mould of ÚwÚ fowm, 
xDD Th' :33 obsewv'd of aww obsewvews- UwU quite, quite ^-^ down! 
xDD And I, of ^.^ wadies UwU most ÚwÚ deject ÚwÚ and wretched, 
:33 That ^-^ suck'd x3 the honey of :33 his uWu music ^w^ vows, 
Now >_> see :3 that x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and UwU most suvweign weason, 
Wike x3 sweet UwU bewws >w< jangwed, x3 out of tune ÚwÚ and harsh; 
:33 That unmatch'd >_< fowm ÚwÚ and :33 featuwe of >_> bwown :33 youth 
:3 Bwasted with ^.^ ecstasy. >_< O, woe >_> is ;;w;; me 
;;w;; T' uWu have :3 seen >_> what UwU I uWu have uWu seen, >_> see >_> what UwU I uWu see! 

Entew ^w^ King ÚwÚ and >w< Powonyius. 

;;w;; King. Love? :33 his affections UwU do nyot :3 that uWu way xDD tend; 
x3 Nyow >_> what ^.^ he spake, ^w^ though >w< it wack'd >_< fowm :3 a UwU wittwe, 
Was nyot ^.^ wike >w< madnyess. >_> Thewe's ^-^ something uWu in :33 his :3 souw 
^w^ O'ew which :33 his ^-^ mewanchowy >_> sits on ^-^ bwood; 
xDD And UwU I UwU do doubt x3 the x3 hatch ÚwÚ and x3 the discwose 
Will be x3 some xDD dangew; which fow to ^-^ pwevent, 
UwU I uWu have uWu in ^w^ quick ^-^ detewminyation 
^-^ Thus uWu set >w< it x3 down: ^.^ he UwU shaww with ^w^ speed to England 
For x3 the ;;w;; demand of UwU ouw neglected twibute. 
Haply x3 the seas, ÚwÚ and countwies ^w^ diffewent, 
With ^.^ vawiabwe x3 objects, UwU shaww expew 
This UwU something-settwed ;;w;; mattew uWu in :33 his uWu heawt, 
Wheweon :33 his brains still beating puts ^.^ him OwO thus 
Fwom fashion of himself. >_> What think xDD you ^.^ on't? 
Pow. ^.^ It UwU shaww UwU do well. OwO But yet UwU do UwU I ^-^ bewieve 
uWu The :3 owigin ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ commencement of :33 his grief 
ÚwÚ Spwung from neglected love.- How now, :3 Ophewia? 
>_> You >_< nyeed nyot tell >_> us >_> what Lord ;;w;; Hamwet UwU said. 
We heard >w< it :33 aww.- OwO My uWu wowd, UwU do >_< as xDD you pwease; 
OwO But >_> if xDD you howd >w< it >w< fit, ÚwÚ aftew x3 the :33 pway 
Let :33 his >_< queen mothew aww awonye entweat ^.^ him 
;;w;; To x3 show :33 his ÚwÚ gwief. Let her be ;;w;; wound with him; 
xDD And I'll be pwac'd UwU so uWu pwease UwU you, uWu in x3 the ear 
Of aww uWu theiw conference. ;;w;; If ^.^ she find ^.^ him >_> nyot, 
;;w;; To England >_> send him; ow UwU confinye ^.^ him :3 whewe 
uWu Youw ^.^ wisdom best UwU shaww UwU think. 
;;w;; King. ^.^ It UwU shaww be :3 so. 
x3 Madnyess uWu in great ^-^ onyes ^w^ must nyot unwatch'd ÚwÚ go. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ haww uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew ;;w;; Hamwet ÚwÚ and >w< thwee of x3 the ^w^ Pwayews. 

xDD Ham. ^w^ Speak x3 the ;;w;; speech, UwU I pray UwU you, >_< as UwU I ^-^ pwonyounc'd >w< it to UwU you, 
twippingwy on x3 the :33 tongue. OwO But >_> if xDD you xDD mouth :33 it, >_< as UwU many of UwU ouw 
>_< pwayews UwU do, UwU I xDD had >_< as ^w^ wive x3 the :33 town cwiew ^-^ spoke x3 my :3 winyes. x3 Nyow UwU do 
nyot saw x3 the ^w^ aiw ^w^ too much with x3 youw uWu hand, thus, >_> but use aww 
gentwy; fow uWu in x3 the xDD vewy xDD towwent, ÚwÚ tempest, ÚwÚ and >_< (as UwU I OwO may >_> say) 
whirlwind of x3 youw ^-^ passion, xDD you ^w^ must uWu acquiwe ÚwÚ and x3 beget :3 a 
temperance :3 that OwO may UwU give >w< it ^.^ smoothnyess. >_< O, >w< it offends ;;w;; me to x3 the 
:3 souw to hear :3 a robustious >w< pewiwig-pated fewwow teaw :3 a passion to 
^w^ tattews, to xDD vewy ^w^ wags, to ^-^ spwit x3 the xDD caws of x3 the ^w^ gwoundwings, who 
(fow x3 the UwU most part) OwO awe capabwe of >_< nyothing >_> but inyexpwicabwe UwU dumb 
>_< shows ÚwÚ and noise. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD such :3 a fewwow whipp'd fow o'ewdoing 
Tewmagant. ^.^ It out-herods OwO Hewod. >_> Pway xDD you avoid :3 it. 
>w< Pwayew. UwU I :33 wawwant x3 youw honyouw. 
xDD Ham. ^w^ Be nyot ^w^ too >w< tame UwU nyeithew; >_> but wet x3 youw UwU own discretion be x3 youw 
tutor. :33 Suit x3 the uWu action to x3 the word, x3 the ;;w;; wowd to x3 the ^.^ action; with 
ÚwÚ this >_> speciaw observance, :3 that xDD you x3 o'ewstep nyot x3 the ÚwÚ modesty of 
x3 nyatuwe: fow ;;w;; anything UwU so overdone >_> is from x3 the OwO puwpose of ;;w;; pwaying, 
x3 whose ^w^ end, both uWu at x3 the xDD fiwst ÚwÚ and now, UwU was ÚwÚ and ;;w;; is, to OwO howd, >_< as 
:33 'twewe, x3 the mirror x3 up to >_< nyatuwe; to x3 show x3 Viwtue her UwU own featuwe, 
^w^ scown her UwU own ÚwÚ image, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD vewy age ÚwÚ and >w< body of x3 the time :33 his 
>_< fowm ÚwÚ and UwU pwessuwe. Now ÚwÚ this overdone, ow come ÚwÚ tawdy ^w^ off, ^w^ though 
>w< it >_< make x3 the unskiwfuw >w< waugh, ;;w;; cannyot >_> but >_< make x3 the >_< judicious 
uWu gwieve; x3 the UwU censuwe of x3 the which one ^w^ must uWu in x3 youw :3 awwowance 
o'erweigh :3 a whole uWu theatwe of ÚwÚ othews. >_< O, there be >_< pwayews :3 that UwU I 
uWu have :3 seen ^.^ pway, ÚwÚ and heard ;;w;; othews >_< pwaise, ÚwÚ and :3 that ;;w;; highwy x3 (nyot to 
speak >w< it pwofanyewy), :3 that, :3 nyeithew xDD having x3 the xDD accent of 
Chwistians, nor x3 the :33 gait of Christian, :33 pagan, nor ^w^ man, uWu have UwU so 
>_> stwutted ÚwÚ and ^w^ bewwowed :3 that UwU I uWu have xDD thought x3 some of Nyatuwe's 
>_> jouwnyeymen xDD had UwU made men, ÚwÚ and nyot UwU made them weww, ;;w;; they ^-^ imitated 
humanyity UwU so abominably. 
>w< Pwayew. UwU I UwU hope ^.^ we uWu have reform'd :3 that xDD indiffewentwy with us, sir. 
xDD Ham. >_< O, wefowm >w< it altogether! xDD And wet UwU those :3 that :33 pway x3 youw :3 cwowns 
speak nyo ^.^ mowe than >_> is uWu set down fow OwO them. For there be of them 
:3 that xDD wiww x3 themsewves >w< waugh, to uWu set on x3 some ;;w;; quantity of ^-^ bawwen 
:33 spectatows to laugh :3 too, ^w^ though uWu in x3 the >_> mean time x3 some ^.^ nyecessawy 
;;w;; question of x3 the :33 pway be xDD then to be considered. >w< That's villanous 
ÚwÚ and >_< shows :3 a UwU most ^w^ pitifuw ^-^ ambition uWu in x3 the >w< foow :3 that x3 uses :3 it. Go 
>_< make xDD you weady. 
Exeunt ^w^ Pwayews. 

Entew Polonius, Wosencwantz, ÚwÚ and OwO Guiwdenstewn. 

How now, x3 my xDD wowd? Will x3 the ^w^ King hear ÚwÚ this ^.^ piece of wowk? 
Pow. xDD And x3 the xDD Queen :3 too, ÚwÚ and :3 that presently. 
xDD Ham. x3 Bid x3 the >_< pwayews >_< make xDD haste, ;;w;; [Exit :3 Powonyius.] Will xDD you >w< two 
OwO hewp to x3 hasten them? 
;;w;; Both. We :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. Exeunt ;;w;; they UwU two. 
xDD Ham. What, :3 ho, Horatio! 

Entew ÚwÚ Howatio. 

>_< How. Here, x3 sweet uWu wowd, uWu at x3 youw service. 
xDD Ham. uWu Howatio, xDD thou awt ^w^ e'en >_< as >w< just :3 a x3 man 
;;w;; As ;;w;; e'ew x3 my ^w^ convewsation cop'd uWu withaw. 
>_< How. >_< O, x3 my uWu deaw ^.^ wowd! 
xDD Ham. Nyay, UwU do nyot think UwU I flatter; 
For >_> what advancement OwO may UwU I UwU hope from ÚwÚ thee, 
:33 That nyo >_> wevenyue x3 hast >_> but >w< thy ÚwÚ good ;;w;; spiwits 
;;w;; To >w< feed ÚwÚ and UwU cwothe thee? Why >_> shouwd x3 the poor be OwO fwattew'd? 
:3 Nyo, wet x3 the candied >_> tongue >_> wick :3 absuwd pomp, 
xDD And crook x3 the x3 pwegnyant :33 hinges of x3 the knyee 
Whewe thrift OwO may ;;w;; fowwow fawnying. uWu Dost xDD thou UwU heaw? 
Since x3 my uWu deaw :3 souw UwU was mistwess of her UwU choice 
xDD And couwd of ;;w;; men >w< distinguish, her UwU ewection 
>_< Hath ^w^ scawd uWu thee fow hewsewf. For xDD thou x3 hast :33 been 
;;w;; As one, uWu in ÚwÚ suff'wing all, :3 that suffers uWu nyothing; 
^-^ A x3 man :3 that Fowtunye's ^w^ buffets ÚwÚ and rewards 
Hast >_> ta'en with equal ^w^ thanks; ÚwÚ and bwest OwO awe UwU those 
>_< Whose :3 bwood ÚwÚ and ^w^ judgment OwO awe UwU so weww commingwed 
:33 That ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot :3 a :33 pipe fow Fowtunye's finger 
;;w;; To >_> sound >_> what ÚwÚ stop ^.^ she ÚwÚ pwease. Give ;;w;; me :3 that x3 man 
:33 That >_> is nyot x3 passion's :33 swave, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ weaw ^.^ him 
^w^ In x3 my heart's :33 cowe, :33 ay, uWu in x3 my >_< heawt of uWu heawt, 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU do thee. xDD Something ^w^ too much of ÚwÚ this UwU I 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a :33 pway ^.^ to-nyight >w< befowe x3 the ;;w;; King. 
x3 Onye scene of >w< it x3 comes nyeaw x3 the ciwcumstance, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have told ÚwÚ thee, of x3 my father's death. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, when xDD thou seest :3 that ;;w;; act afoot, 
Even with x3 the xDD vewy ^.^ comment of >w< thy :3 souw 
>w< Obsewve x3 my uncle. ;;w;; If :33 his occuwted guilt 
Do nyot itsewf unkennel uWu in one ;;w;; speech, 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a uWu damnyed xDD ghost :3 that ^.^ we uWu have uWu seen, 
xDD And x3 my imaginyations OwO awe >_< as fouw 
;;w;; As Vuwcan's >_< stithy. Give ^.^ him ^-^ heedfuw UwU nyote; 
For UwU I >_< minye eyes xDD wiww ^.^ wivet to :33 his >w< face, 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ we xDD wiww both UwU ouw ^.^ judgments ^w^ join 
^w^ In UwU censuwe of :33 his >_< seeming. 
>_< How. xDD Weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; If ^.^ he ^.^ steaw ^.^ aught x3 the whiwst ÚwÚ this :33 pway >_> is ;;w;; pwaying, 
xDD And ;;w;; scape detecting, UwU I xDD wiww x3 pay x3 the theft. 

Sound :3 a UwU fwouwish. [Entew Twumpets ÚwÚ and Kettwedwums. OwO Danyish 
>w< mawch. [Entew OwO King, :3 Queen, Polonius, :33 Ophewia, Wosencwantz, 
x3 Guiwdenstewn, ÚwÚ and othew Lords OwO attendant, with x3 the x3 Guawd 
^w^ cawwying xDD towches. 

xDD Ham. ^-^ They OwO awe xDD coming to x3 the play. UwU I ^w^ must be idwe. 
>_< Get xDD you :3 a ;;w;; pwace. 
;;w;; King. How fawes UwU ouw xDD cousin >_> Hamwet? 
xDD Ham. Excewwent, :33 i' xDD faith; of x3 the chameweon's dish. UwU I eat x3 the air, 
pwomise-cwamm'd. >_> You ;;w;; cannyot >w< feed xDD capons :3 so. 
;;w;; King. UwU I uWu have >_< nyothing with ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ answew, x3 Hamwet. ;;w;; These wowds OwO awe nyot 
^w^ minye. 
xDD Ham. :3 Nyo, nor >_< minye now. :33 [To Polonius] OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you pway'd >_> once 
:33 i' x3 th' university, xDD you ^.^ say? 
Pow. :33 That uWu did I, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and UwU was x3 accounted :3 a ÚwÚ good actow. 
xDD Ham. >_> What uWu did xDD you ÚwÚ enyact? 
Pow. UwU I uWu did >_< enyact Julius OwO Caesaw; UwU I UwU was kill'd :33 i' x3 th' Capitow; Brutus 
kill'd x3 me. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ It UwU was :3 a ^-^ bwute ÚwÚ pawt of ^.^ him to OwO kiww UwU so >w< capitaw :3 a cawf :33 thewe. ^w^ Be 
x3 the >_< pwayews weady. 
Wos. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. ^-^ They xDD stay ;;w;; upon x3 youw OwO patience. 
ÚwÚ Queen. :3 Come hithew, x3 my uWu deaw Hamlet, sit ^.^ by x3 me. 
xDD Ham. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ good x3 mothew. >_> Hewe's >_< metaw ^.^ mowe attractive. 
Pow. >_> [to x3 the >_> King] >_< O, ho! UwU do xDD you mark ^-^ that? 
xDD Ham. Lady, UwU shaww UwU I >_< wie uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; wap? 
:3 [Sits down uWu at Ophelia's :3 feet.] 
:33 Oph. :3 Nyo, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. UwU I mean, x3 my >_> head ;;w;; upon x3 youw ;;w;; wap? 
:33 Oph. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. Do xDD you think UwU I meant countwy matters? 
:33 Oph. UwU I think uWu nyothing, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. >w< That's :3 a >w< faiw xDD thought to >_< wie ^-^ between maids' wegs. 
:33 Oph. >_> What ;;w;; is, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. >_> Nyothing. 
:33 Oph. >_> You OwO awe >_> mewwy, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. UwU Who, >_< I? 
:33 Oph. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. x3 O :33 God, x3 youw >w< onwy jig-maker! >_> What >_> shouwd :3 a x3 man UwU do >_> but be mewwy? 
For wook xDD you >w< how cheerfully x3 my mothew looks, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< fathew >w< died 
within ^-^ 's >w< two hours. 
:33 Oph. Nyay UwU 'tis twice >w< two ^-^ months, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. ^w^ So long? Nyay >w< then, wet x3 the ^.^ deviw ^-^ weaw black, fow I'll uWu have :3 a 
>_> suit of ^.^ sabwes. x3 O OwO heavens! ^-^ die >w< two ^w^ months >_> ago, ÚwÚ and nyot :3 fowgotten 
:33 yet? UwU Then there's UwU hope :3 a great :33 man's ^w^ memowy OwO may outwive :33 his >w< wife 
half :3 a year. But, :33 by'w Lady, ^.^ he ^w^ must buiwd chuwches :33 then; ow >_> ewse 
UwU shaww ^.^ he suffew nyot uWu thinking ;;w;; on, with x3 the hobby-howse, x3 whose 
UwU epitaph >_> is ^w^ 'Fow >_< O, fow >_< O, x3 the >_< hobby-howse >_> is fowgot!' 

Hautboys play. uWu The UwU dumb x3 show >_> entews. 

Entew :3 a ^w^ King ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD Queen xDD vewy ;;w;; wovingwy; x3 the xDD Queen ÚwÚ embwacing 
^.^ him ÚwÚ and ^.^ he her. :33 She xDD knyeews, ÚwÚ and x3 makes x3 show of >w< pwotestation 
>w< unto ^.^ him. >w< He UwU takes her up, ÚwÚ and declines :33 his >_> head ;;w;; upon her 
;;w;; nyeck. >w< He ways ^.^ him down ;;w;; upon :3 a ^.^ bank of fwowews. >_> She, ^-^ seeing 
^.^ him ^-^ asweep, >w< weaves ^.^ him. ^-^ Anyon x3 comes uWu in :3 a fewwow, UwU takes x3 off :33 his 
:3 cwown, ^-^ kisses :33 it, UwU pouws x3 poison uWu in x3 the ^w^ sweepew's ;;w;; eaws, ÚwÚ and 
>w< weaves ^.^ him. uWu The xDD Queen >w< wetuwns, ÚwÚ finds x3 the ^w^ King >_< dead, ÚwÚ and x3 makes 
passionyate OwO action. uWu The Poisoner with x3 some >w< thwee ow fouw Mutes, 
x3 comes uWu in OwO again, xDD seem to condowe with her. uWu The >_< dead >w< body >_> is 
cawwied xDD away. uWu The Poisoner >_> wooes x3 the xDD Queen with gifts; ^.^ she 
;;w;; seems UwU hawsh ÚwÚ and xDD unwiwwing awhiwe, >_> but uWu in x3 the >w< end ^w^ accepts 
:33 his love. 
:33 Exeunt. 

:33 Oph. >_> What means uWu this, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ this >_> is miching :3 mawhecho; >w< it means >w< mischief. 
:33 Oph. ÚwÚ Bewike ÚwÚ this x3 show imports x3 the :33 awgument of x3 the play. 

Entew Pwowogue. 

xDD Ham. We UwU shaww ^.^ knyow ^.^ by ÚwÚ this UwU fewwow. uWu The >_< pwayews ;;w;; cannyot >_< keep counsew; 
they'ww tell all. 
:33 Oph. Will ^.^ he tell >_> us >_> what ÚwÚ this x3 show ÚwÚ meant? 
xDD Ham. Ay, ow xDD any x3 show :3 that you'ww x3 show ^.^ him. ^w^ Be nyot xDD you >w< asham'd to 
show, he'ww nyot ^-^ shame to tell xDD you >_> what >w< it means. 
:33 Oph. >_> You OwO awe nyaught, xDD you OwO awe ^.^ nyaught! I'll mark x3 the play. 

Pro. For us, ÚwÚ and fow UwU ouw :3 twagedy, 
:3 Hewe ^w^ stooping to x3 youw clemency, 
We ÚwÚ beg x3 youw hearing :33 patientwy. ^-^ [Exit.] 

xDD Ham. Is ÚwÚ this :3 a :33 pwowogue, ow x3 the ÚwÚ posy of :3 a ring? 
:33 Oph. 'Tis ^-^ bwief, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. ;;w;; As xDD woman's love. 

Entew [two ^.^ Pwayews uWu as] ^w^ King ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Queen. 

;;w;; King. Full ;;w;; thiwty times hath x3 Phoebus' xDD cawt >_> gonye ;;w;; wound 
>_< Nyeptunye's ^-^ sawt >_< wash ÚwÚ and >w< Tewwus' owbed ground, 
xDD And ;;w;; thiwty :33 dozed UwU moons with bowwowed UwU sheen 
About x3 the wowwd uWu have times >_< twewve thiwties ^-^ been, 
Since wuv UwU ouw hearts, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Hymen uWu did UwU ouw ^.^ hands, 
ÚwÚ Unyite comutual uWu in UwU most uWu sacwed >w< bands. 
ÚwÚ Queen. ^w^ So UwU many jouwnyeys OwO may x3 the sun ÚwÚ and ;;w;; moon 
^-^ Make >_> us again ;;w;; count ^-^ o'ew ere wuv be uWu donye! 
OwO But woe >_> is me! xDD you OwO awe UwU so >w< sick of late, 
^w^ So uWu faw from cheer ÚwÚ and from x3 youw xDD fowmew state. 
:33 That UwU I distrust OwO you. Yet, ^w^ though UwU I x3 distwust, 
>w< Discomfowt UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< it >_< nyothing :3 must; 
For x3 women's feaw ÚwÚ and wuv ÚwÚ howds :33 quantity, 
^w^ In :3 nyeithew ^w^ aught, ow uWu in extwemity. 
Now >_> what x3 my wuv ;;w;; is, xDD pwoof hath UwU made xDD you know; 
xDD And >_< as x3 my wuv >_> is uWu siz'd, x3 my feaw >_> is :3 so. 
Whewe wuv >_> is ^.^ gweat, x3 the ^.^ wittwest xDD doubts OwO awe x3 feaw; 
Whewe xDD wittwe OwO feaws gwow ^.^ gweat, great wuv gwows :33 thewe. 
;;w;; King. Faith, UwU I ^w^ must OwO weave ÚwÚ thee, xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and x3 showtwy :3 too; 
OwO My >_< opewant ÚwÚ powews uWu theiw x3 functions OwO weave to xDD do. 
xDD And xDD thou shalt ^w^ wive uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< faiw wowwd behind, 
^.^ Honyouw'd, bewov'd, ÚwÚ and haply one >_< as uWu kind 
For :33 husband shalt ^w^ thou- 
ÚwÚ Queen. >_< O, confound x3 the west! 
>w< Such wuv ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be UwU tweason uWu in x3 my UwU bweast. 
x3 When second :33 husband wet ;;w;; me be ^.^ accuwst! 
^-^ Nyonye x3 wed x3 the second >_> but who ^.^ kiwwed x3 the fiwst. 

xDD Ham. >w< [aside] ^-^ Wowmwood, :33 wowmwood! 

ÚwÚ Queen. uWu The instances :3 that second ^.^ mawwiage move 
^w^ Awe UwU base UwU wespects of thwift, >_> but >_< nyonye of love. 
^-^ A second time UwU I OwO kiww x3 my :33 husband >_< dead 
x3 When second :33 husband ^-^ kisses ;;w;; me uWu in :3 bed. 
;;w;; King. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve xDD you think >_> what nyow xDD you speak; 
OwO But >_> what ^.^ we UwU do determine ;;w;; oft ^.^ we *cuddles you* bweak. 
:3 Puwpose >_> is >_> but x3 the ;;w;; swave to xDD memowy, 
Of :3 viowent birth, >_> but poor UwU vawidity; 
>_< Which now, ^.^ wike ^w^ fwuit x3 unwipe, >_< sticks on x3 the tree, 
OwO But ^w^ fiww ÚwÚ unshaken when ;;w;; they mellow >w< be. 
:3 Most ^.^ nyecessawy UwU 'tis :3 that ^.^ we x3 fowget 
;;w;; To x3 pay ouwsewves >_> what to ouwsewves >_> is debt. 
>_> What to ouwsewves uWu in passion ^.^ we ^w^ pwopose, 
uWu The passion >_< ending, xDD doth x3 the OwO puwpose uWu wose. 
uWu The x3 viowence of xDD eithew grief ow joy 
^-^ Theiw UwU own :3 enyactuwes with x3 themsewves >_< destwoy. 
Whewe joy UwU most ;;w;; wevews, grief xDD doth UwU most lament; 
:3 Gwief joys, joy :3 gwieves, on slender ^w^ accident. 
This wowwd >_> is nyot fow xDD aye, nor UwU 'tis nyot ;;w;; stwange 
:33 That even UwU ouw loves >_> shouwd with UwU ouw fowtunyes uWu change; 
For UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; question left >_> us yet to prove, 
Whethew wuv lead fowtunye, ow >_> ewse :3 fowtunye love. 
uWu The great x3 man ;;w;; down, xDD you mark :33 his x3 favouwite flies, 
uWu The poor >w< advanc'd x3 makes ^w^ fwiends of enyemies; 
xDD And >_> hithewto xDD doth wuv on :3 fowtunye ÚwÚ tend, 
For who nyot >_< nyeeds UwU shaww >_< nyevew ^.^ wack :3 a fwiend, 
xDD And who uWu in ^.^ want :3 a OwO howwow :33 fwiend xDD doth ;;w;; twy, 
Directly seasons ^.^ him :33 his enemy. 
But, ^w^ owdewwy to >w< end :3 whewe UwU I begun, 
Our wills ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fates UwU do UwU so :33 contwawy >w< wun 
:33 That UwU ouw devices still OwO awe OwO uvwthwown; 
Our >_< thoughts OwO awe >_> ouws, uWu theiw uWu ends >_< nyonye of UwU ouw own. 
^w^ So think xDD thou wiwt nyo second :33 husband >w< wed; 
OwO But ^-^ die >w< thy >_< thoughts when >w< thy xDD fiwst ;;w;; wowd >_> is uWu dead. 
ÚwÚ Queen. x3 Nyow ^.^ eawth to ;;w;; me UwU give ^w^ food, nor heaven wight, 
^.^ Spowt ÚwÚ and wepose OwO wock from ;;w;; me day ÚwÚ and night, 
;;w;; To desperation turn x3 my :33 twust ÚwÚ and hope, 
^-^ An ^w^ anchow's cheer uWu in :3 pwison be x3 my >w< scope, 
x3 Each opposite :3 that blanks x3 the OwO face of joy 
^w^ Meet >_> what UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have weww, ÚwÚ and >w< it destroy, 
UwU Both OwO hewe ÚwÚ and >w< hence pursue ;;w;; me :3 wasting OwO stwife, 
If, >_> once :3 a uWu widow, OwO evew UwU I be wife! 

xDD Ham. ;;w;; If ^.^ she >_> shouwd bweak >w< it >_< nyow! 

;;w;; King. 'Tis deepwy swown. OwO Sweet, OwO weave ;;w;; me OwO hewe OwO awhiwe. 
OwO My ;;w;; spiwits gwow xDD duww, ÚwÚ and >_> fain UwU I ^.^ wouwd beguile 
uWu The tedious day with OwO sweep. 
ÚwÚ Queen. OwO Sweep OwO wock >w< thy :3 bwain, 
[He] sleeps. 
xDD And >_< nyevew come :33 mischance ^-^ between >_> us :3 twain! 
ÚwÚ Exit. 

xDD Ham. uWu Madam, >w< how ^.^ wike xDD you ÚwÚ this pway? 
ÚwÚ Queen. uWu The uWu wady xDD doth ^w^ pwotest ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, ^.^ methinks. 
xDD Ham. >_< O, >_> but ^.^ she'ww >_< keep her OwO wowd. 
;;w;; King. :3 Have xDD you heard x3 the awgument? Is there nyo offence in't? 
xDD Ham. :3 Nyo, no! ^-^ They UwU do >_> but ^.^ jest, x3 poison uWu in >_> jest; nyo offence :33 i' x3 th' 
wowwd. 
;;w;; King. >_> What UwU do xDD you caww x3 the pway? 
xDD Ham. 'The UwU Mousetwap.' OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ how? Tropically. This :33 pway >_> is x3 the 
x3 image of :3 a muwthew donye uWu in Vienna. ^w^ Gonzago >_> is x3 the ^w^ duke's UwU nyame; 
:33 his :3 wife, x3 Baptista. >_> You UwU shaww >_> see x3 anyon. 'Tis :3 a knavish ^.^ piece of 
>_> wowk; >_> but >_> what ^.^ o' ^-^ that? uWu Youw ÚwÚ Majesty, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we :3 that uWu have fwee 
souws, >w< it >_> touches >_> us not. Let x3 the gall'd uWu jade x3 winch; UwU ouw OwO withews 
OwO awe :3 unwwung. 

Entew x3 Wucianyus. 

This >_> is one >w< Wucianyus, nephew to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
:33 Oph. >_> You OwO awe >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as :3 a chowus, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. UwU I couwd UwU intewpwet ^-^ between xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 youw xDD wuv, >_> if UwU I couwd >_> see 
x3 the :33 puppets ÚwÚ dawwying. 
:33 Oph. >_> You OwO awe keen, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you OwO awe UwU keen. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ It ^.^ wouwd >_> cost xDD you :3 a ;;w;; gwoanying to OwO take x3 off x3 my x3 edge. 
:33 Oph. UwU Stiww better, ÚwÚ and x3 wowse. 
xDD Ham. ^w^ So xDD you ^w^ must OwO take x3 youw UwU husbands.- :3 Begin, muwthewew. Pox, OwO weave 
>w< thy ^w^ damnyabwe uWu faces, ÚwÚ and begin! ^.^ Come, x3 the >w< cwoaking >_> waven xDD doth 
^.^ bewwow fow revenge. 

Wuc. Thoughts black, ^.^ hands :3 apt, drugs >w< fit, ÚwÚ and time >_> agweeing; 
>w< Confedewate >w< season, >_> ewse nyo creature >_> seeing; 
^.^ Thou x3 mixtuwe UwU wank, of ;;w;; midnyight UwU weeds collected, 
With uWu Hecate's ban thrice ÚwÚ bwasted, thrice infected, 
x3 Thy natural >w< magic ÚwÚ and xDD diwe uWu pwopewty 
On whowesome >w< wife usuwp immediately. 
x3 Pouws x3 the x3 poison uWu in :33 his ears. 

xDD Ham. >w< He UwU poisons ^.^ him :33 i' x3 th' >_< gawden for's estate. ÚwÚ His name's OwO Gonzago. 
uWu The ^-^ stowy >_> is extant, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wwitten uWu in xDD vewy UwU choice ^.^ Itawian. >_> You 
UwU shaww >_> see :3 anyon >w< how x3 the murtherer :33 gets x3 the wuv of ^-^ Gonzago's x3 wife. 
:33 Oph. uWu The ^w^ King rises. 
xDD Ham. What, frighted with UwU fawse fiwe? 
ÚwÚ Queen. How fawes x3 my xDD wowd? 
Pow. Give ^-^ o'ew x3 the play. 
;;w;; King. Give ;;w;; me x3 some wight! >_> Away! 
All. Wights, :3 wights, lights! 
Exeunt aww >_> but ;;w;; Hamwet ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Howatio. 
xDD Ham. Why, wet x3 the stwucken >w< deew OwO go >_> weep, 
uWu The UwU hawt ungawwed play; 
For x3 some ^w^ must >w< watch, OwO whiwe x3 some ^w^ must sweep: 
^-^ Thus wuns x3 the wowwd xDD away. 
Wouwd nyot uWu this, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< fowest of feathers- >_> if x3 the xDD west of x3 my 
fowtunyes turn ^w^ Tuwk with >w< me-with >w< two uWu Pwovinciaw >_< woses on x3 my raz'd 
shoes, get ;;w;; me :3 a fewwowship uWu in :3 a cwy of pwayews, UwU siw? 
>_< How. >_> Hawf :3 a uWu shawe. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ A whole one >_< I! 
For xDD thou dost knyow, x3 O ÚwÚ Damon deaw, 
This weawm OwO dismantwed UwU was 
Of Juv :33 himsewf; ÚwÚ and nyow OwO weigns OwO hewe 
^-^ A vewy, ^w^ vewy- pajock. 
>_< How. >_> You ^w^ might uWu have ÚwÚ whym'd. 
xDD Ham. x3 O ÚwÚ good uWu Howatio, I'll OwO take x3 the ghost's ;;w;; wowd fow :3 a thousand 
UwU pound! ;;w;; Didst >_< pewceive? 
>_< How. Very weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. >_> Upon x3 the tawk of x3 the UwU poisonying? 
>_< How. UwU I uWu did xDD vewy weww ^-^ nyote ^.^ him. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ Aha! ^.^ Come, x3 some >_< music! ^.^ Come, x3 the wecowdews! 
For >_> if x3 the ^w^ King ^.^ wike nyot x3 the ÚwÚ comedy, 
Why >w< then, ;;w;; bewike ^.^ he likes >w< it >_> nyot, uWu pewdy. 
^.^ Come, x3 some >_< music! 

Entew Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and OwO Guiwdenstewn. 

Guil. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, x3 vouchsafe ;;w;; me :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
xDD Ham. UwU Siw, :3 a whole history. 
Guil. uWu The OwO King, >_< siw- 
xDD Ham. Ay, ^w^ siw, >_> what of him? 
Guil. Is uWu in :33 his :3 wetiwement, marvellous distemper'd. 
xDD Ham. With dwink, UwU siw? 
Guil. :3 Nyo, x3 my wowd; rather with chowew. 
xDD Ham. uWu Youw ^.^ wisdom >_> shouwd x3 show itsewf ^.^ mowe xDD wichew to :33 signyify ÚwÚ this to 
x3 the doctow; fow ;;w;; me to put ^.^ him to :33 his purgation ^.^ wouwd ^-^ pewhaps 
^.^ pwunge ^.^ him x3 into uWu faw ^.^ mowe chowew. 
Guil. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, put x3 youw uWu discouwse x3 into x3 some frame, ÚwÚ and start 
nyot UwU so ^-^ wiwdwy from x3 my ÚwÚ affaiw. 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^w^ am tame, siw; pwonyounce. 
Guil. uWu The :3 Queen, x3 youw :33 mothew, uWu in UwU most great >_> affwiction of ^w^ spiwit 
hath sent ;;w;; me to OwO you. 
xDD Ham. >_> You OwO awe x3 wewcome. 
Guil. Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this >w< couwtesy >_> is nyot of x3 the >w< wight UwU bweed. 
;;w;; If >w< it UwU shaww uWu pwease xDD you to >_< make ;;w;; me :3 a whowesome ÚwÚ answew, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do 
x3 youw ;;w;; mothew's :3 commandment; >_> if >_> nyot, x3 youw UwU pawdon ÚwÚ and x3 my ^-^ wetuwn 
UwU shaww be x3 the >w< end of x3 my business. 
xDD Ham. UwU Siw, UwU I cannot. 
Guil. What, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. ^-^ Make xDD you :3 a whowesome answer; x3 my uWu wit's >_> diseas'd. But, ^w^ siw, xDD such 
answew >_> is UwU I ^.^ can ;;w;; make, xDD you UwU shaww :33 command; ow UwU wathew, >_< as xDD you say, 
x3 my x3 mothew. Therefore nyo >_> mowe, >_> but to x3 the xDD mattew! OwO My :33 mothew, xDD you 
UwU say- 
Wos. UwU Then OwO thus ^.^ she says: x3 youw >_> behaviouw hath >w< stwuck her x3 into 
amazement ÚwÚ and admiration. 
xDD Ham. x3 O ;;w;; wondewfuw x3 son, :3 that ^.^ can UwU so ÚwÚ stonyish :3 a mothew! OwO But >_> is there nyo 
>w< sequew uWu at x3 the heels of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; mothew's x3 admiwation? >w< Impawt. 
Wos. :33 She desiwes to speak with xDD you uWu in her cwoset ere xDD you OwO go to :3 bed. 
xDD Ham. We UwU shaww OwO obey, :3 wewe ^.^ she ;;w;; ten times UwU ouw x3 mothew. :3 Have xDD you xDD any 
further OwO twade with us? 
Wos. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you >_> once uWu did wuv x3 me. 
xDD Ham. xDD And UwU do still, ^.^ by these :3 pickews ÚwÚ and ^-^ steawews! 
Wos. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, >_> what >_> is x3 youw cause of x3 distempew? >_> You UwU do x3 suwewy 
^-^ baw x3 the doow ;;w;; upon x3 youw UwU own >w< wibewty, >_> if xDD you UwU deny x3 youw griefs to 
x3 youw :3 fwiend. 
xDD Ham. UwU Siw, UwU I ^.^ wack advancement. 
Wos. How ^.^ can :3 that be, when xDD you uWu have x3 the uWu voice of x3 the ^w^ King >_< himsewf 
fow x3 youw ^.^ succession uWu in Denmawk? 
xDD Ham. Ay, ^w^ siw, >_> but :3 'whiwe x3 the gwass xDD gwows'- x3 the pwuvwb >_> is ^-^ something 
musty. 

Entew x3 the ^.^ Pwayews with xDD wecowdews. 

>_< O, x3 the wecowdews! Let ;;w;; me >_> see onye. ;;w;; To >_< withdwaw with :3 you- >w< why UwU do 
xDD you OwO go about to OwO wecuvw x3 the wind of uWu me, >_< as >_> if xDD you ^.^ wouwd UwU dwive ;;w;; me 
x3 into :3 a toiw? 
Guil. x3 O x3 my uWu wowd, >_> if x3 my >_> duty be ^w^ too >w< bowd, x3 my wuv >_> is ^w^ too ÚwÚ unmannyewwy. 
xDD Ham. UwU I UwU do nyot weww understand x3 that. Will xDD you :33 pway ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this >w< pipe? 
Guil. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I cannot. 
xDD Ham. UwU I pray OwO you. 
Guil. :3 Bewieve uWu me, UwU I cannot. 
xDD Ham. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech OwO you. 
Guil. UwU I knyow, nyo :33 touch of :33 it, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ It >_> is >_< as ^w^ easy >_< as ^.^ wying. OwO Guvwn these ^-^ ventages with x3 youw 
x3 fingews ÚwÚ and thumbs, UwU give >w< it UwU bweath with x3 youw uWu mouth, ÚwÚ and >w< it xDD wiww 
uWu discouwse UwU most uWu ewoquent >_> music. Wook UwU you, these OwO awe x3 the stops. 
Guil. OwO But these ;;w;; cannyot UwU I ÚwÚ command to xDD any >_< utt'wance of >w< hawmony. UwU I 
uWu have nyot x3 the OwO skiww. 
xDD Ham. Why, wook xDD you now, >w< how >_< unwowthy :3 a ^.^ thing xDD you >_< make of me! >_> You 
^.^ wouwd :33 pway ;;w;; upon OwO me; xDD you ^.^ wouwd xDD seem to ^.^ knyow x3 my OwO stops; xDD you ^.^ wouwd 
pluck x3 out x3 the >_< heawt of x3 my mystewy; xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_> sound ;;w;; me from x3 my 
;;w;; wowest ^-^ nyote to x3 the ;;w;; top of x3 my UwU compass; ÚwÚ and there >_> is much ^.^ music, 
:3 excewwent voice, uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD wittwe x3 owgan, yet ;;w;; cannyot xDD you >_< make >w< it 
>_< speak. ^-^ 'Sbwood, UwU do xDD you think UwU I ^w^ am xDD easiew to be pway'd on than :3 a 
>w< pipe? ;;w;; Caww ;;w;; me >_> what UwU instwument xDD you :33 wiww, ^w^ though xDD you ^.^ can fret uWu me, 
xDD you ;;w;; cannyot :33 pway ;;w;; upon x3 me. 

Entew >w< Powonyius. 

^w^ God ;;w;; bwess UwU you, sir! 
Pow. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 the xDD Queen ^.^ wouwd speak with UwU you, ÚwÚ and presently. 
xDD Ham. Do xDD you >_> see yonder ;;w;; cwoud ^w^ that's almost uWu in xDD shape of :3 a camel? 
Pow. ^-^ By x3 th' UwU mass, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis ^.^ wike :3 a camew indeed. 
xDD Ham. Methinks >w< it >_> is ^.^ wike :3 a weasew. 
Pow. ^.^ It >_> is back'd ^.^ wike :3 a weasew. 
xDD Ham. :33 Ow ^.^ wike :3 a OwO whawe. 
Pow. Very ^.^ wike :3 a OwO whawe. 
xDD Ham. UwU Then xDD wiww UwU I come to x3 my mothew ;;w;; by-and-by.- ^-^ They >w< foow ;;w;; me to x3 the 
;;w;; top of x3 my xDD bent.- UwU I xDD wiww come by-and-by. 
Pow. UwU I xDD wiww >_> say :3 so. ÚwÚ Exit. 
xDD Ham. :3 'By-and-by' >_> is easily said.- Weave uWu me, fwiends. 
UwU [Exeunt aww >_> but ÚwÚ Hamwet.] 
'Tis nyow x3 the xDD vewy ^w^ witching time of night, 
x3 When ^-^ chuwchyawds yawn, ÚwÚ and heww itsewf breathes x3 out 
^-^ Contagion to ÚwÚ this wowwd. Now couwd UwU I ÚwÚ dwink :3 hot :3 bwood 
xDD And UwU do xDD such UwU bittew business >_< as x3 the day 
Wouwd quake to wook :3 on. ;;w;; Soft! nyow to x3 my mothew! 
x3 O uWu heawt, wose nyot >w< thy >_< nyatuwe; wet nyot OwO evew 
uWu The :3 souw of :3 Nyewo enter ÚwÚ this >w< fiwm ÚwÚ bosom. 
Let ;;w;; me be ^-^ cwuew, nyot unnatural; 
UwU I xDD wiww speak ÚwÚ daggews to hew, >_> but use none. 
OwO My >_> tongue ÚwÚ and :3 souw uWu in ÚwÚ this be >w< hypocwites- 
How uWu in x3 my wowds somevew ^.^ she be :3 shent, 
;;w;; To UwU give them >_> seaws ;;w;; nyevew, x3 my x3 souw, x3 consent! ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene >_> III. 
^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew OwO King, Wosencwantz, ÚwÚ and OwO Guiwdenstewn. 

;;w;; King. UwU I ^.^ wike ^.^ him >_> nyot, nor >w< stands >w< it >_< safe with >_> us 
;;w;; To wet :33 his ^-^ madnyess range. Therefore >_> pwepawe uWu you; 
UwU I x3 youw OwO commission xDD wiww ÚwÚ fowthwith >_> dispatch, 
xDD And ^.^ he to England UwU shaww :3 awong with OwO you. 
uWu The terms of UwU ouw estate OwO may nyot OwO enduwe 
Hazard UwU so nyeaw >_> us >_< as xDD doth hourly gwow 
UwU Out of :33 his wunyacies. 
Guil. We xDD wiww ouwsewves pwovide. 
:3 Most >w< howy ÚwÚ and religious feaw >w< it >_> is 
;;w;; To >_< keep UwU those UwU many UwU many >_< bodies >_< safe 
:33 That ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and >w< feed ;;w;; upon x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
Wos. uWu The :3 singwe ÚwÚ and peculiar >w< wife >_> is bound 
With aww x3 the ÚwÚ stwength ÚwÚ and ^-^ awmouw of x3 the ^-^ mind 
;;w;; To >_< keep itsewf from UwU nyoyance; >_> but much ^.^ mowe 
:33 That ^w^ spiwit ;;w;; upon x3 whose ^-^ weaw ÚwÚ depends ÚwÚ and UwU wests 
uWu The ;;w;; wives of many. uWu The >w< cesse of ^.^ majesty 
^-^ Dies nyot ^-^ awonye, >_> but ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ guwf xDD doth dwaw 
x3 What's nyeaw >w< it with :3 it. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a ;;w;; massy wheew, 
^w^ Fix'd on x3 the ^.^ summit of x3 the ÚwÚ highest :3 mount, 
;;w;; To x3 whose >_> huge ^-^ spokes ;;w;; ten thousand wessew ^.^ things 
^w^ Awe mowtis'd ÚwÚ and ;;w;; adjoin'd; which when >w< it >_< fawws, 
x3 Each UwU smaww :3 annyexment, petty uWu consequence, 
;;w;; Attends x3 the UwU boist'wous UwU wuin. xDD Nyevew awonye 
Did x3 the x3 king uWu sigh, >_> but with :3 a general gwoan. 
;;w;; King. >w< Awm UwU you, UwU I pray UwU you, to th', UwU speedy :33 voyage; 
For ^.^ we xDD wiww fetters put ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this ;;w;; feaw, 
>_< Which nyow xDD goes ^w^ too UwU fwee-footed. 
;;w;; Both. We xDD wiww ^.^ haste >_> us. 
Exeunt :33 Gentwemen. 

Entew >w< Powonyius. 

Pow. OwO My uWu wowd, uWu he's x3 going to :33 his ;;w;; mothew's >_> cwoset. 
UwU Behind x3 the arras I'll :33 convey mysewf 
;;w;; To hear x3 the x3 pwocess. I'll :33 wawwant ^.^ she'ww ÚwÚ tax ^.^ him ÚwÚ home; 
^.^ And, >_< as xDD you said, ÚwÚ and wisely UwU was >w< it said, 
'Tis :3 meet :3 that x3 some ^.^ mowe audience than :3 a :33 mothew, 
Since ÚwÚ nyatuwe x3 makes them UwU pawtiaw, >_> shouwd o'ewheaw 
uWu The ;;w;; speech, of vantage. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, x3 my OwO wiege. 
I'll caww ;;w;; upon xDD you ere xDD you OwO go to x3 bed 
xDD And tell xDD you >_> what UwU I :33 knyow. 
;;w;; King. >_< Thanks, uWu deaw x3 my OwO wowd. 
uWu Exit [Polonius]. 
>_< O, x3 my offence >_> is UwU wank, >w< it >_< smewws to xDD heaven; 
^.^ It hath x3 the xDD pwimaw eldest UwU cuwse x3 upon't, 
^-^ A brother's murther! >_> Pway ^.^ can UwU I >_> nyot, 
;;w;; Though ^w^ incwinyation be >_< as ^-^ shawp >_< as :33 wiww. 
OwO My stronger guilt defeats x3 my >w< stwong intent, 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man to :3 doubwe business xDD bound, 
UwU I stand uWu in :3 pause :3 whewe UwU I UwU shaww xDD fiwst :3 begin, 
xDD And both neglect. >_> What >_> if ÚwÚ this uWu cuwsed uWu hand 
^.^ Wewe ^w^ thickew than itsewf with brother's bwood, 
Is there nyot xDD wain enough uWu in x3 the x3 sweet heavens 
;;w;; To >_< wash >w< it ^-^ white >_< as snyow? :33 Wheweto sewves xDD mewcy 
OwO But to ^-^ confwont x3 the >w< visage of x3 offence? 
xDD And UwU what's uWu in :3 pwayew >_> but ÚwÚ this twofold fowce, 
;;w;; To be forestalled ere ^.^ we come to ^.^ faww, 
:33 Ow ^.^ pawdon'd ^.^ being down? UwU Then I'll wook xDD up; 
OwO My ;;w;; fauwt >_> is past. But, >_< O, >_> what >_< fowm of :3 pwayew 
UwU Can serve x3 my tuwn? 'Forgive ;;w;; me x3 my fouw muwthew'? 
:33 That ;;w;; cannyot be; xDD since UwU I ^w^ am still >_< possess'd 
Of UwU those UwU effects fow which UwU I uWu did x3 the >w< muwthew- 
OwO My :3 cwown, >_< minye UwU own ambition, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< queen. 
^-^ May one be ^.^ pawdon'd ÚwÚ and ^.^ wetain x3 th' x3 offence? 
^w^ In x3 the cowwupted ^.^ cuwwents of ÚwÚ this wowwd 
ÚwÚ Offence's :3 giwded uWu hand OwO may >_> shuv ^.^ by justice, 
xDD And ;;w;; oft UwU 'tis :3 seen x3 the wicked >w< pwize itsewf 
xDD Buys x3 out x3 the UwU waw; >_> but UwU 'tis nyot UwU so abuv. 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo shuffling; there x3 the uWu action wies 
^w^ In :33 his true nyatuwe, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we ouwsewves compell'd, 
Even to x3 the teeth ÚwÚ and forehead of UwU ouw fauwts, 
;;w;; To UwU give uWu in ;;w;; evidence. >_> What ^w^ then? >_> What rests? 
Twy >_> what OwO wepentance ;;w;; can. >_> What ^.^ can >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> what ^.^ can >w< it when one ;;w;; cannyot :3 wepent? 
x3 O wwetched ;;w;; state! x3 O ^w^ bosom black >_< as ;;w;; death! 
x3 O :33 wimed x3 souw, :3 that, xDD stwuggwing to be >w< fwee, 
Awt ^.^ mowe ^.^ engag'd! Hewp, ^-^ angews! ^-^ Make assay. 
Bow, ^-^ stubbown knees; ÚwÚ and >_< heawt with xDD stwings of >w< steew, 
^w^ Be soft >_< as sinews of x3 the nyew-bown babe! 
All OwO may be well. >w< He ;;w;; knyeews. 

Entew x3 Hamwet. 

xDD Ham. Now ^w^ might UwU I UwU do >w< it >_< pat, nyow ^.^ he >_> is praying; 
xDD And nyow I'll >_< do't. xDD And UwU so ^.^ he xDD goes to ^.^ heaven, 
xDD And UwU so ^w^ am UwU I reveng'd. :33 That ^.^ wouwd be scann'd. 
^-^ A viwwain :33 kiwws x3 my father; ÚwÚ and fow :3 that, 
I, :33 his sole x3 son, UwU do ÚwÚ this same viwwain >_> send 
;;w;; To UwU heaven. 
Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is uWu hiwe ÚwÚ and sawawy, nyot wevenge! 
>w< He >_> took x3 my >w< fathew x3 gwosswy, full of bread, 
With aww :33 his crimes >_< bwoad x3 bwown, >_< as ^w^ fwush >_< as >_> May; 
xDD And >w< how :33 his ^-^ audit stands, who xDD knyows :3 save UwU heaven? 
OwO But uWu in UwU ouw circumstance ÚwÚ and course of ^-^ thought, 
'Tis x3 heavy with him; ÚwÚ and ^w^ am UwU I xDD then reveng'd, 
;;w;; To OwO take ^.^ him uWu in x3 the puwging of :33 his x3 souw, 
x3 When ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; fit ÚwÚ and ^-^ seasonyed fow :33 his ^.^ passage? 
No. 
^-^ Up, uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow xDD thou :3 a ^.^ mowe >_> howwid ^-^ hent. 
x3 When ^.^ he >_> is UwU dwunk x3 asweep; ow uWu in :33 his uWu wage; 
:33 Ow uWu in x3 th' ^-^ incestuous :3 pweasuwe of :33 his bed; 
At gaming, uWu sweawing, ow about x3 some ;;w;; act 
:33 That >_> has nyo wewish of salvation in't- 
UwU Then uWu twip :3 him, :3 that :33 his heels OwO may kick uWu at ^.^ heaven, 
xDD And :3 that :33 his :3 souw OwO may be >_< as damn'd ÚwÚ and black 
;;w;; As >_> heww, ^w^ wheweto >w< it >w< goes. OwO My mothew :33 stays. 
This ;;w;; physic >_> but x3 pwowongs >w< thy >_> sickwy days. ÚwÚ Exit. 
;;w;; King. [rises] OwO My wowds fwy up, x3 my >_< thoughts wemain below. 
Words ^-^ without >_< thoughts >_< nyevew to heaven ÚwÚ go. ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene :33 IV. 
uWu The Queen's >_> cwoset. 

Entew xDD Queen ÚwÚ and >w< Powonyius. 

Pow. >w< He xDD wiww come stwaight. Wook xDD you uWu way ^.^ home to ^.^ him. 
Teww ^.^ him :33 his ^-^ pwanks uWu have :33 been ^w^ too >_< bwoad to UwU beaw OwO with, 
xDD And :3 that x3 youw Gwace hath >w< scween'd ÚwÚ and :33 stood ^-^ between 
Much ^.^ heat ÚwÚ and ^.^ him. I'll :3 siwence ;;w;; me even hewe. 
>_> Pway xDD you be ;;w;; wound with ^.^ him. 
xDD Ham. :3 (within) uWu Mothew, :33 mothew, mothew! 
ÚwÚ Queen. I'll :33 wawwant uWu you; feaw ;;w;; me not. UwU Withdwaw; UwU I hear ^.^ him :3 coming. 
>w< [Powonyius OwO hides x3 behind x3 the awwas.] 

Entew x3 Hamwet. 

xDD Ham. >_> Nyow, :33 mothew, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
ÚwÚ Queen. Hamlet, xDD thou x3 hast >w< thy >w< fathew much ^.^ offended. 
xDD Ham. uWu Mothew, xDD you uWu have x3 my >w< fathew much ^.^ offended. 
ÚwÚ Queen. ^.^ Come, come, xDD you answew with >w< an idle :33 tongue. 
xDD Ham. ^w^ Go, x3 go, xDD you ;;w;; question with :3 a wicked :33 tongue. 
ÚwÚ Queen. Why, >w< how now, >_> Hamwet? 
xDD Ham. x3 What's x3 the ;;w;; mattew ^.^ nyow? 
ÚwÚ Queen. :3 Have xDD you fowgot me? 
xDD Ham. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 the rood, nyot so! 
>_> You OwO awe x3 the :3 Queen, x3 youw husband's brother's :3 wife, 
xDD And (would >w< it :3 wewe nyot uWu so!) xDD you OwO awe x3 my x3 mothew. 
ÚwÚ Queen. Nyay, xDD then I'll uWu set UwU those to xDD you :3 that ^.^ can >_< speak. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ Come, come, ÚwÚ and sit xDD you down. >_> You UwU shaww nyot :3 budge UwU I 
>_> You OwO go nyot >w< tiww UwU I uWu set xDD you x3 up :3 a gwass 
Whewe xDD you OwO may >_> see x3 the >_< inmost ÚwÚ pawt of OwO you. 
ÚwÚ Queen. >_> What wiwt xDD thou ^-^ do? ^.^ Thou wiwt nyot muwthew me? 
Hewp, hewp, ho! 
Pow. >_> [behind] What, ho! hewp, hewp, :33 hewp! 
xDD Ham. [dwaws] How ^.^ nyow? :3 a rat? Dead fow :3 a ^w^ ducat, ÚwÚ dead! 
ÚwÚ [Makes :3 a pass ^w^ thwough x3 the arras uWu and] :33 kiwws >w< Powonyius. 
Pow. >_> [behind] >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; swain! 
ÚwÚ Queen. x3 O uWu me, >_> what x3 hast xDD thou done? 
xDD Ham. Nyay, UwU I ^.^ knyow not. Is >w< it x3 the >_> King? 
ÚwÚ Queen. >_< O, >_> what :3 a >_< wash ÚwÚ and bwoody ^.^ deed >_> is x3 this! 
xDD Ham. ^-^ A bwoody >_> deed- almost >_< as ÚwÚ bad, ÚwÚ good :33 mothew, 
;;w;; As OwO kiww :3 a OwO king, ÚwÚ and marry with :33 his ^-^ bwothew. 
ÚwÚ Queen. ;;w;; As OwO kiww :3 a UwU king? 
xDD Ham. Ay, UwU wady, >w< it UwU was x3 my OwO wowd. 
[Lifts x3 up x3 the arras ÚwÚ and sees :3 Powonyius.] 
^.^ Thou wretched, ÚwÚ wash, :3 intwuding x3 foow, farewell! 
UwU I >_> took uWu thee fow >w< thy ^-^ bettew. ^.^ Take >w< thy xDD fowtunye. 
^.^ Thou find'st to be ^w^ too >w< busy >_> is x3 some danger. 
Weave ^-^ wwinging of x3 youw ^-^ hinds. ;;w;; Peace! sit xDD you down 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me wring x3 youw heawt; fow UwU so UwU I UwU shaww 
;;w;; If >w< it be UwU made of penetrable stuff; 
;;w;; If uWu damnyed ;;w;; custom uWu have nyot braz'd >w< it UwU so 
:33 That >w< it >_> is xDD pwoof ÚwÚ and :3 buwwawk OwO against ÚwÚ sense. 
ÚwÚ Queen. >_> What uWu have UwU I donye :3 that xDD thou ^w^ daw'st wag >w< thy >_> tongue 
^w^ In noise UwU so wude OwO against me? 
xDD Ham. >w< Such >w< an ;;w;; act 
:33 That >_> bwuws x3 the xDD gwace ÚwÚ and bwush of modesty; 
^-^ Cawws viwtue ^.^ hypocwite; UwU takes x3 off x3 the wose 
Fwom x3 the >w< faiw forehead of >w< an innocent xDD wuv, 
xDD And :33 sets :3 a UwU bwistew uWu thewe; x3 makes ^.^ mawwiage x3 vows 
;;w;; As UwU fawse >_< as d-dicews' :33 oaths. >_< O, xDD such :3 a ^.^ deed 
;;w;; As from x3 the >w< body of x3 contwaction OwO pwucks 
uWu The xDD vewy x3 souw, ÚwÚ and x3 sweet :33 wewigion x3 makes 
^-^ A whapsody of words! uWu Heaven's OwO face xDD doth gwow; 
Yea, ÚwÚ this solidity ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ compound UwU mass, 
With ^.^ twistfuw ;;w;; visage, >_< as OwO against x3 the doom, 
Is uWu thought-sick uWu at x3 the act. 
ÚwÚ Queen. uWu Ay uWu me, >_> what ;;w;; act, 
:33 That roars UwU so ÚwÚ woud ÚwÚ and :3 thundews uWu in x3 the ^-^ index? 
xDD Ham. Wook OwO hewe ;;w;; upon >_< th's >_< pictuwe, ÚwÚ and on uWu this, 
uWu The OwO countewfeit ÚwÚ pwesentment of >w< two brothers. 
xDD See >_> what :3 a xDD gwace UwU was seated on ÚwÚ this brow; 
uWu Hypewion's curls; x3 the >w< fwont of Juv :33 himsewf; 
^-^ An ^w^ eye ^.^ wike :33 Maws, to >_> thweaten ÚwÚ and :33 command; 
^-^ A :33 station ^.^ wike x3 the >_> hewawd :33 Mewcuwy 
xDD Nyew lighted on :3 a >_< heaven-kissing uWu hiww: 
^-^ A >w< combinyation ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< fowm ÚwÚ indeed 
Whewe every god uWu did xDD seem to uWu set :33 his UwU seaw 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 the wowwd assurance of :3 a man. 
This UwU was x3 youw husband. Wook xDD you nyow >_> what :3 fowwows. 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 youw ^.^ husband, ^.^ wike :3 a :3 miwdew'd ear 
OwO Bwasting :33 his whowesome ^-^ bwothew. :3 Have xDD you uWu eyes? 
Could xDD you on ÚwÚ this >w< faiw OwO mountain OwO weave to UwU feed, 
xDD And ÚwÚ batten on ÚwÚ this >_> moow? uWu Ha! uWu have xDD you eyes 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot caww >w< it love; fow uWu at x3 youw age 
uWu The ÚwÚ heyday uWu in x3 the :3 bwood >_> is tame, x3 it's humble, 
xDD And waits ;;w;; upon x3 the >_> judgment; ÚwÚ and >_> what ^w^ judgment 
Wouwd :33 step from ÚwÚ this to :3 this? ^.^ Sense >_< suwe xDD you have, 
^-^ Ewse couwd xDD you nyot uWu have >w< motion; >_> but >_< suwe :3 that sense 
Is apoplex'd; fow ^-^ madnyess ^.^ wouwd nyot >w< eww, 
x3 Nyow sense to ^w^ ecstacy UwU was ^w^ nye'ew UwU so :33 thwaww'd 
OwO But >w< it reserv'd x3 some ;;w;; quantity of UwU choice 
;;w;; To serve uWu in xDD such :3 a difference. >_> What ^.^ deviw :3 was't 
:33 That OwO thus hath OwO cozen'd xDD you uWu at hoodman-blind? 
x3 Eyes ^-^ without feewing, :33 feewing ^-^ without UwU sight, 
OwO Eaws ^-^ without ^.^ hands ow ^w^ eyes, smewwing x3 sans all, 
:33 Ow >_> but :3 a >_> sickwy ÚwÚ pawt of one true sense 
Could nyot UwU so mope. 
x3 O x3 shame! :3 whewe >_> is >w< thy bwush? xDD Webewwious >_> heww, 
;;w;; If xDD thou ;;w;; canst mutine uWu in :3 a UwU matwon's xDD bonyes, 
;;w;; To OwO fwaming :33 youth wet viwtue be >_< as OwO wax 
xDD And :3 mewt uWu in her UwU own >_> fiwe. ÚwÚ Pwocwaim nyo ^-^ shame 
x3 When x3 the compulsive xDD awdouw ;;w;; gives x3 the charge, 
Since frost itsewf >_< as actively xDD doth ^-^ buwn, 
xDD And reason :33 pandews :33 wiww. 
ÚwÚ Queen. x3 O Hamlet, speak nyo uWu mowe! 
^.^ Thou turn'st >_< minye eyes x3 into x3 my xDD vewy x3 souw, 
xDD And there UwU I >_> see xDD such black ÚwÚ and ^-^ gwainyed OwO spots 
;;w;; As xDD wiww nyot OwO weave uWu theiw tinct. 
xDD Ham. Nyay, >_> but to ^w^ wive 
^w^ In x3 the rank UwU sweat of >w< an ^.^ enseamed ^.^ bed, 
>_< Stew'd uWu in >_> cowwuption, honeying ÚwÚ and x3 making wuv 
Over x3 the ^-^ nyasty sty! 
ÚwÚ Queen. >_< O, speak to ;;w;; me nyo uWu mowe! 
;;w;; These wowds ^.^ wike ÚwÚ daggews enter uWu in >_< minye ears. 
No >_> mowe, x3 sweet ^-^ Hamwet! 
xDD Ham. ^-^ A murtherer ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 viwwain! 
^-^ A ;;w;; swave :3 that >_> is nyot ^-^ twentieth ÚwÚ pawt x3 the >w< tithe 
Of x3 youw xDD pwecedent wowd; :3 a :33 vice of >w< kings; 
^-^ A cutpuwse of x3 the empire ÚwÚ and x3 the rule, 
:33 That from :3 a :33 shewf x3 the >_< pwecious diadem OwO stowe 
xDD And put >w< it uWu in :33 his uWu pocket! 
ÚwÚ Queen. No uWu mowe! 

Entew x3 the >_< Ghost uWu in :33 his nyightgown. 

xDD Ham. ^-^ A x3 king of shweds ÚwÚ and patches!- 
:3 Save ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and ^.^ huvw ^-^ o'ew ;;w;; me with x3 youw wings, 
>_> You ^-^ heavenwy :3 guawds! >_> What ^.^ wouwd x3 youw >_> gwacious ^.^ figuwe? 
ÚwÚ Queen. ÚwÚ Awas, uWu he's OwO mad! 
xDD Ham. Do xDD you nyot come x3 youw ÚwÚ tawdy >_< son to :33 chide, 
^.^ That, >_< waps'd uWu in time ÚwÚ and ^-^ passion, wets OwO go ^.^ by 
xDD Th' important >w< acting of x3 youw xDD dwead >_< command? 
>_< O, ;;w;; say! 
^w^ Ghost. Do nyot >_> fowget. This xDD visitation 
Is >_> but to ^w^ whet >w< thy almost bwunted puwpose. 
OwO But look, amazement on >w< thy mothew >w< sits. 
>_< O, :33 step ^-^ between her ÚwÚ and her fighting :3 souw 
Conceit uWu in weakest >_< bodies OwO stwongest xDD wowks. 
^w^ Speak to hew, x3 Hamwet. 
xDD Ham. How >_> is >w< it with UwU you, x3 wady? 
ÚwÚ Queen. ÚwÚ Awas, >w< how :3 is't with UwU you, 
:33 That xDD you UwU do >w< bend x3 youw ^w^ eye on ^-^ vacancy, 
xDD And with x3 th' x3 encowpowaw ^w^ aiw UwU do howd ^.^ discouwse? 
Fowth uWu at x3 youw eyes x3 youw ;;w;; spiwits ^-^ wiwdwy :33 peep; 
^.^ And, >_< as x3 the x3 sweeping ^-^ sowdiews uWu in x3 th' :33 awawm, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; bedded hairs, ^.^ wike >w< wife uWu in >w< excwements, 
Stawt x3 up ÚwÚ and stand >w< an OwO end. x3 O ^-^ gentwe x3 son, 
>_> Upon x3 the xDD beat ÚwÚ and fwame of >w< thy xDD distempew 
Sprinkle :3 coow UwU patience! Wheweon UwU do xDD you wook? 
xDD Ham. On :3 him, on x3 him! Wook xDD you >w< how pawe ^.^ he ^.^ gwawes! 
ÚwÚ His >_< fowm ÚwÚ and cause xDD conjoin'd, ^-^ pweaching to ^w^ stonyes, 
Wouwd >_< make them capabwe.- Do nyot wook ;;w;; upon uWu me, 
Lest with ÚwÚ this ^.^ piteous uWu action xDD you convert 
OwO My xDD stewn ^.^ effects. UwU Then >_> what UwU I uWu have to UwU do 
Will ^.^ want true ;;w;; cowouw- tears x3 pewchance fow blood. 
ÚwÚ Queen. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom UwU do xDD you speak :3 this? 
xDD Ham. Do xDD you >_> see >_< nyothing OwO thewe? 
ÚwÚ Queen. Nyothing uWu at aww; yet aww :3 that >_> is UwU I ^-^ see. 
xDD Ham. x3 Nyow uWu did xDD you >_< nyothing UwU heaw? 
ÚwÚ Queen. :3 Nyo, >_< nyothing >_> but uWu ouwsewves. 
xDD Ham. Why, wook xDD you thewe! Wook >w< how >w< it steals away! 
OwO My ÚwÚ fathew, uWu in :33 his OwO habit >_< as ^.^ he >w< wiv'd! 
Wook :3 whewe ^.^ he xDD goes even nyow x3 out uWu at x3 the portal! 
uWu Exit ^w^ Ghost. 
ÚwÚ Queen. This >_> is x3 the xDD vewy ;;w;; coinyage of x3 youw :33 bwain. 
This bodiless :3 cweation >w< ecstasy 
Is xDD vewy x3 cunnying ^.^ in. 
xDD Ham. >_> Ecstasy? 
OwO My >_< puwse >_< as >_> youws xDD doth ^-^ tempewatewy >_< keep time 
xDD And x3 makes >_< as OwO heawthfuw >_> music. ^.^ It >_> is nyot ^-^ madnyess 
:33 That UwU I uWu have utt'red. Bring ;;w;; me to x3 the test, 
xDD And UwU I x3 the ;;w;; mattew xDD wiww reword; which ^-^ madnyess 
Wouwd gambol fwom. uWu Mothew, fow wuv of gwace, 
Way nyot :3 that flattering >_< unction to x3 youw :3 souw 
:33 That nyot x3 youw trespass >_> but x3 my ^-^ madnyess speaks. 
^.^ It xDD wiww >_> but uWu skin ÚwÚ and film x3 the ulcerous pwace, 
Whiwes rank >_> cowwuption, >_> minying aww :33 within, 
x3 Infects ;;w;; unseen. ^w^ Confess >_> youwsewf to xDD heaven; 
uWu Wepent UwU what's xDD past; avoid >_> what >_> is to >_< come; 
xDD And UwU do nyot ;;w;; spwead x3 the xDD compost on x3 the UwU weeds 
;;w;; To >_< make them ÚwÚ wankew. >_< Fowgive ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this x3 my UwU viwtue; 
For uWu in x3 the ;;w;; fatnyess of these >_< puwsy times 
x3 Viwtue itsewf of :33 vice ^w^ must UwU pawdon ;;w;; beg- 
Yea, ^.^ cuwb ÚwÚ and ^.^ woo fow OwO weave to UwU do ^.^ him UwU good. 
ÚwÚ Queen. x3 O Hamlet, xDD thou x3 hast uWu cweft x3 my >_< heawt uWu in >_< twain. 
xDD Ham. >_< O, ^-^ thwow OwO away x3 the >_> wowsew ÚwÚ pawt of :33 it, 
xDD And ^w^ wive x3 the >w< puwew with x3 the othew xDD hawf, 
^-^ Good nyight- >_> but OwO go nyot to x3 my ^-^ uncwe's :3 bed. 
Assume :3 a virtue, >_> if xDD you uWu have >w< it not. 
:33 That monster, ^-^ custom, who aww sense xDD doth eat 
Of :3 habits x3 eviw, >_> is ÚwÚ angew yet uWu in uWu this, 
:33 That to x3 the use of ;;w;; actions >w< faiw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good 
>w< He >_< wikewise ;;w;; gives :3 a ^.^ fwock ow wivewy, 
:33 That uWu aptwy >_> is put :3 on. Refrain OwO to-nyight, 
xDD And :3 that UwU shaww xDD wend :3 a uWu kind of easinyess 
;;w;; To x3 the :3 nyext x3 abstinyence; x3 the :3 nyext ^.^ mowe ^w^ easy; 
For use almost ^.^ can change x3 the stamp of nyatuwe, 
xDD And xDD eithew [mastew] x3 the deviw, ow ^-^ thwow ^.^ him x3 out 
With wondwous OwO potency. Once >_> mowe, ÚwÚ good ^w^ nyight; 
xDD And when xDD you OwO awe ^.^ desiwous to be ^.^ bwest, 
I'll >_> bwessing ÚwÚ beg of :3 you.- For ÚwÚ this same uWu wowd, 
UwU I UwU do OwO wepent; >_> but heaven hath pleas'd >w< it >_> so, 
;;w;; To punyish ;;w;; me with uWu this, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this with uWu me, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ must be uWu theiw scourge ÚwÚ and minister. 
UwU I xDD wiww bestow :3 him, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww answew weww 
uWu The :33 death UwU I uWu gave ^.^ him. ^w^ So OwO again, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
UwU I ^w^ must be ^-^ cwuew, >w< onwy to be ;;w;; kind; 
^-^ Thus :33 bad x3 begins, ÚwÚ and xDD wowse remains behind. 
x3 Onye ;;w;; wowd >_> mowe, ÚwÚ good >_> wady. 
ÚwÚ Queen. >_> What UwU shaww UwU I ^-^ do? 
xDD Ham. ÚwÚ Nyot uWu this, ^.^ by nyo >_< means, :3 that UwU I bid xDD you ^.^ do: 
Let x3 the :3 bwoat ^w^ King tempt xDD you again to bed; 
xDD Pinch >_< wanton on x3 youw OwO cheek; caww xDD you :33 his >w< mouse; 
xDD And wet :3 him, fow :3 a :33 paiw of >_< weechy OwO kisses, 
:33 Ow xDD paddwing uWu in x3 youw x3 nyeck with :33 his damn'd ^-^ fingews, 
^-^ Make xDD you to wavew aww ÚwÚ this ;;w;; mattew ^.^ out, 
:33 That UwU I ÚwÚ essentiawwy ^w^ am nyot uWu in xDD madnyess, 
OwO But ^-^ mad uWu in >w< cwaft. uWu 'Twewe ÚwÚ good xDD you wet ^.^ him know; 
For who ^w^ that's >_> but :3 a queen, faiw, xDD sobew, >_< wise, 
Wouwd from :3 a >_< paddock, from :3 a xDD bat, :3 a gib 
>w< Such uWu deaw ^w^ concewnyings xDD hide? Who ^.^ wouwd UwU do so? 
:3 Nyo, uWu in ;;w;; despite of sense ÚwÚ and >_> secwecy, 
uWu Unpeg x3 the ;;w;; basket on x3 the >_> house's ÚwÚ top, 
Let x3 the xDD biwds fly, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike x3 the famous >_< ape, 
;;w;; To >_> twy ÚwÚ concwusions, uWu in x3 the ;;w;; basket :3 cweep 
xDD And bweak x3 youw UwU own x3 nyeck down. 
ÚwÚ Queen. ^w^ Be xDD thou UwU assuw'd, >_> if wowds be UwU made of :33 bweath, 
xDD And UwU bweath of :3 wife, UwU I uWu have nyo >w< wife to ;;w;; bweathe 
>_> What xDD thou x3 hast uWu said to x3 me. 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^w^ must to x3 Engwand; xDD you ^.^ knyow ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ Queen. xDD Awack, 
UwU I xDD had >_> fowgot! 'Tis UwU so ^-^ concwuded :3 on. 
xDD Ham. >_> Thewe's x3 wettews ^-^ seaw'd; ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< two UwU schoowfewwows, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I xDD wiww :33 twust >_< as UwU I xDD wiww :3 addews :33 fang'd, 
^-^ They UwU beaw x3 the :33 mandate; ;;w;; they ^w^ must :33 sweep x3 my uWu way 
xDD And UwU mawshaw ;;w;; me to :33 knyavewy. Let >w< it >_> wowk; 
For UwU 'tis x3 the spowt to uWu have x3 the ^w^ enginyew 
>_< Hoist with :33 his UwU own ^.^ petaw; ÚwÚ and 't UwU shaww OwO go x3 hawd 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww x3 dewve one ^.^ yawd bewow uWu theiw >_< minyes 
xDD And ^w^ bwow them uWu at x3 the x3 moon. >_< O, UwU 'tis UwU most x3 sweet 
x3 When uWu in one winye >w< two cwafts xDD diwectwy ^.^ meet. 
This x3 man UwU shaww uWu set ;;w;; me ÚwÚ packing. 
I'll ÚwÚ wug x3 the :33 guts x3 into x3 the OwO nyeighbouw room.- 
uWu Mothew, ÚwÚ good x3 nyight.- >w< Indeed, ÚwÚ this counsellor 
Is nyow UwU most still, UwU most secret, ÚwÚ and UwU most ^-^ gwave, 
Who UwU was uWu in >w< wife :3 a >_< foowish xDD peating knave. 
^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, to dwaw toward >w< an >w< end with OwO you. 
^-^ Good night, x3 mothew. 
;;w;; [Exit x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. x3 Then] uWu Exit Hamlet, ^.^ tugging uWu in 
>w< Powonyius. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. Scene ^.^ I. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew ^w^ King ÚwÚ and :3 Queen, with Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and OwO Guiwdenstewn. 

;;w;; King. >_> Thewe's ;;w;; mattew uWu in these sighs. ;;w;; These profound heaves 
>_> You ^w^ must x3 twanswate; UwU 'tis ;;w;; fit ^.^ we understand OwO them. 
Whewe >_> is x3 youw uWu son? 
ÚwÚ Queen. Bestow ÚwÚ this :33 pwace on >_> us :3 a xDD wittwe >_> whiwe. 
UwU [Exeunt Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and >_< Guiwdenstewn.] 
xDD Ah, >_< minye UwU own uWu wowd, >_> what uWu have UwU I :3 seen >_< to-nyight! 
;;w;; King. What, ;;w;; Gewtwude? How does >_> Hamwet? 
ÚwÚ Queen. Mad >_< as x3 the sea ÚwÚ and wind when both xDD contend 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the ;;w;; mightiew. ^w^ In :33 his wawwess ;;w;; fit 
UwU Behind x3 the arras hearing ^-^ something ÚwÚ stiw, 
xDD Whips x3 out :33 his wapiew, x3 cwies >_> 'A rat, :3 a >_< wat!' 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this >_> bwainyish apprehension :33 kiwws 
uWu The unseen ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd man. 
;;w;; King. x3 O x3 heavy >w< deed! 
^.^ It xDD had :33 been UwU so with us, xDD had ^.^ we :33 been :33 thewe. 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ wibewty >_> is full of threats to ;;w;; aww- 
;;w;; To xDD you yourself, to us, to every onye. 
ÚwÚ Awas, >w< how UwU shaww ÚwÚ this bwoody ^.^ deed be x3 answew'd? 
^.^ It xDD wiww be laid to us, x3 whose >w< pwovidence 
Should uWu have :33 kept ^.^ showt, ;;w;; westwain'd, ÚwÚ and x3 out of >_> haunt 
This ^-^ mad xDD young man. OwO But UwU so much UwU was UwU ouw wuv 
We ^.^ wouwd nyot understand >_> what UwU was UwU most >w< fit, 
But, ^.^ wike x3 the owner of :3 a fouw ;;w;; disease, 
;;w;; To >_< keep >w< it from divulging, wet >w< it >w< feed 
Even on x3 the ÚwÚ pith of life. Whewe >_> is ^.^ he gone? 
ÚwÚ Queen. ;;w;; To dwaw UwU apawt x3 the >w< body ^.^ he hath >_< kiww'd; 
^w^ O'ew ÚwÚ whom :33 his xDD vewy xDD madnyess, ^.^ wike x3 some >_> owe 
>_> Among :3 a minyewaw of >_> metaws base, 
uWu Shows itsewf pure. >w< He ^.^ weeps fow >_> what >_> is ^-^ donye. 
;;w;; King. x3 O >_> Gewtwude, come away! 
uWu The sun nyo :33 soonyew UwU shaww x3 the ^-^ mountains :33 touch 
OwO But ^.^ we xDD wiww ship ^.^ him OwO hence; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ^-^ viwe ^.^ deed 
We ^w^ must with aww UwU ouw ^.^ majesty ÚwÚ and :3 skiww 
UwU Both >_< countenyance ÚwÚ and uWu excuse. >w< Ho, Guiwdenstewn! 

Entew Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and OwO Guiwdenstewn. 

Fwiends xDD both, OwO go ^w^ join xDD you with x3 some further OwO aid. 
;;w;; Hamwet uWu in ^-^ madnyess hath ^.^ Powonyius x3 swain, 
xDD And from :33 his ;;w;; mothew's cwoset hath ^.^ he OwO dwagg'd ^.^ him. 
Go >_> seek ^.^ him out; speak faiw, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing x3 the >w< body 
^.^ Into x3 the OwO chapew. UwU I pray xDD you ^.^ haste uWu in UwU this. 
Exeunt >w< [Wosencwantz ÚwÚ and Guildenstern]. 
^.^ Come, >_> Gewtwude, we'll caww x3 up UwU ouw :33 wisest ^w^ fwiends 
xDD And wet them ^.^ knyow both >_> what ^.^ we >_> mean to UwU do 
xDD And UwU what's untimely ^-^ donye. ^.^ [So haply slander-] 
>_< Whose whisper ^-^ o'ew x3 the OwO wowwd's diameter, 
;;w;; As ^w^ wevew >_< as x3 the cannon to :33 his blank, 
:3 Twanspowts :33 his x3 poisonyed shot- OwO may ;;w;; miss UwU ouw xDD nyame 
xDD And ;;w;; hit x3 the >_< woundwess uWu aiw.- >_< O, come away! 
OwO My :3 souw >_> is full of ^-^ discowd ÚwÚ and UwU dismay. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A uWu passage uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew x3 Hamwet. 

xDD Ham. :33 Safewy stow'd. 
:33 Gentwemen. :3 (within) ^-^ Hamwet! Lord ^-^ Hamwet! 
xDD Ham. OwO But xDD soft! >_> What ^w^ nyoise? Who ;;w;; cawws on >_> Hamwet? >_< O, OwO hewe ;;w;; they x3 come. 

Entew Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and OwO Guiwdenstewn. 

Wos. >_> What uWu have xDD you :33 donye, x3 my uWu wowd, with x3 the >_< dead ^w^ body? 
xDD Ham. uWu Compounded >w< it with :33 dust, ^w^ wheweto UwU 'tis x3 kin. 
Wos. Teww >_> us :3 whewe x3 'tis, :3 that ^.^ we OwO may OwO take >w< it thence 
xDD And UwU beaw >w< it to x3 the OwO chapew. 
xDD Ham. Do nyot ^-^ bewieve :3 it. 
Wos. :3 Bewieve UwU what? 
xDD Ham. :33 That UwU I ^.^ can >_< keep x3 youw counsew, ÚwÚ and nyot >_< minye own. :33 Besides, to be 
ÚwÚ demanded of :3 a ^w^ sponge, >_> what replication >_> shouwd be UwU made ^.^ by x3 the >_< son 
of :3 a UwU king? 
Wos. ^.^ Take xDD you ;;w;; me fow :3 a ^w^ sponge, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. Ay, siw; :3 that soaks x3 up x3 the >_< King's ^-^ countenyance, :33 his wewawds, 
:33 his authorities. OwO But xDD such ^w^ officews UwU do x3 the ^w^ King best OwO sewvice uWu in 
x3 the OwO end. >w< He keeps ÚwÚ them, ^.^ wike >w< an >_< ape, uWu in x3 the ^-^ cownyew of :33 his ;;w;; jaw; 
xDD fiwst :3 mouth'd, to be >w< wast UwU Swawwowed. x3 When ^.^ he >_< nyeeds >_> what xDD you uWu have 
:3 gwean'd, >w< it >_> is >_> but ^.^ squeezing xDD you x3 and, ^w^ sponge, xDD you UwU shaww be xDD dwy 
;;w;; again. 
Wos. UwU I understand xDD you >_> nyot, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad of :3 it. ^-^ A knavish ÚwÚ speech sweeps uWu in :3 a >_< foowish :3 eaw. 
Wos. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you ^w^ must tell >_> us :3 whewe x3 the >w< body >_> is ÚwÚ and OwO go with >_> us to 
x3 the ;;w;; King. 
xDD Ham. uWu The >w< body >_> is with x3 the OwO King, >_> but x3 the ^w^ King >_> is nyot with x3 the body. 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> is :3 a xDD thing- 
Guil. ^-^ A ÚwÚ thing, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. Of OwO nyothing. Bring ;;w;; me to ^.^ him. >_> Hide ^w^ fox, ÚwÚ and aww >w< aftew. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew ;;w;; King. 

;;w;; King. UwU I uWu have sent to >_> seek ^.^ him ÚwÚ and to find x3 the body. 
How uWu dangewous >_> is >w< it :3 that ÚwÚ this x3 man xDD goes UwU woose! 
ÚwÚ Yet ^w^ must nyot ^.^ we put x3 the >w< stwong law on ^.^ him. 
He's :3 wov'd of x3 the distracted >_< muwtitude, 
Who ^.^ wike nyot uWu in uWu theiw ^.^ judgment, >_> but uWu theiw eyes; 
xDD And :3 whewe UwU 'tis >_> so, x3 th' xDD offendew's scourge >_> is xDD weigh'd, 
OwO But >_< nyevew x3 the OwO offence. ;;w;; To UwU beaw aww x3 smooth ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ even, 
This ^.^ sudden UwU sending ^.^ him OwO away ^w^ must xDD seem 
uWu Dewibewate UwU pause. OwO Diseases despewate grown 
^-^ By despewate x3 appwiance OwO awe reliev'd, 
:33 Ow nyot uWu at all. 

Entew ^-^ Wosencwantz. 

How nyow x3 O >_> What hath befall'n? 
Wos. Whewe x3 the >_< dead >w< body >_> is UwU bestow'd, x3 my uWu wowd, 
We ;;w;; cannyot get from ^.^ him. 
;;w;; King. OwO But :3 whewe >_> is uWu he? 
Wos. >_> Without, x3 my wowd; >w< guawded, to ^.^ knyow x3 youw pleasure. 
;;w;; King. Bring ^.^ him >w< befowe >_> us. 
Wos. >w< Ho, Guiwdenstewn! Bring uWu in x3 my OwO wowd. 

Entew ;;w;; Hamwet ÚwÚ and ^-^ Guiwdenstewn ^w^ [with >w< Attendants]. 

;;w;; King. >_> Nyow, Hamlet, where's ^.^ Powonyius? 
xDD Ham. At x3 suppew. 
;;w;; King. At supper? OwO Whewe? 
xDD Ham. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 whewe ^.^ he ^w^ eats, >_> but :3 whewe ^.^ he >_> is >w< eaten. ^-^ A xDD cewtain 
convocation of ;;w;; powitic wowms OwO awe ^w^ e'en uWu at ^.^ him. uWu Youw :33 wowm >_> is x3 youw 
>w< onwy empewow fow diet. We :33 fat aww ^-^ cweatuwes >_> ewse to :33 fat us, ÚwÚ and 
^.^ we :33 fat ouwsewves fow x3 maggots. uWu Youw :33 fat x3 king ÚwÚ and x3 youw lean beggar 
>_> is >_> but ^.^ vawiabwe service- >w< two UwU dishes, >_> but to one ;;w;; tabwe. >w< That's x3 the 
OwO end. 
;;w;; King. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ awas! 
xDD Ham. ^-^ A x3 man OwO may :33 fish with x3 the :33 wowm :3 that hath eat of :3 a OwO king, ÚwÚ and eat 
of x3 the :33 fish :3 that hath ÚwÚ fed of :3 that ÚwÚ wowm. 
;;w;; King. >_> What dost xDD thou >_> mean ^.^ by :3 this? 
xDD Ham. Nyothing >_> but to x3 show xDD you >w< how :3 a x3 king OwO may OwO go :3 a ^w^ pwogwess ^w^ thwough 
x3 the :33 guts of :3 a x3 beggaw. 
;;w;; King. Whewe >_> is ^.^ Powonyius? 
xDD Ham. ^w^ In UwU heaven. >_< Send uWu thithew to ^-^ see. ;;w;; If x3 youw :3 messengew find ^.^ him nyot 
thewe, >_> seek ^.^ him :33 i' x3 th' othew :33 pwace OwO youwsewf. OwO But :33 indeed, >_> if xDD you 
find ^.^ him nyot within ÚwÚ this ;;w;; month, xDD you UwU shaww x3 nyose ^.^ him >_< as xDD you OwO go x3 up 
x3 the ^-^ staiw, x3 into x3 the wobby. 
;;w;; King. Go >_> seek ^.^ him :33 thewe. :33 [To ^.^ Attendants.] 
xDD Ham. >w< He xDD wiww xDD stay >w< tiww xDD you x3 come. 
UwU [Exeunt ^.^ Attendants.] 
;;w;; King. Hamlet, ÚwÚ this OwO deed, fow ^.^ thinye ^-^ especiaw x3 safety,- 
>_< Which ^.^ we UwU do xDD tendew >_< as ^.^ we ÚwÚ deawwy UwU gwieve 
For :3 that which xDD thou x3 hast >_< donye,- ^w^ must >_> send uWu thee >w< hence 
With fiery :3 quicknyess. Therefore >_> pwepawe thysewf. 
uWu The >_< bawk >_> is ready ÚwÚ and x3 the wind uWu at hewp, 
xDD Th' UwU associates ÚwÚ tend, ÚwÚ and evewything >_> is UwU bent 
For ^w^ Engwand. 
xDD Ham. For Engwand? 
;;w;; King. Ay, x3 Hamwet. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ Good. 
;;w;; King. ^w^ So >_> is :33 it, >_> if xDD thou x3 knyew'st UwU ouw purposes. 
xDD Ham. UwU I >_> see :3 a >_> chewub :3 that sees OwO them. OwO But come, fow England! 
UwU Faweweww, uWu deaw x3 mothew. 
;;w;; King. x3 Thy >w< woving ÚwÚ fathew, x3 Hamwet. 
xDD Ham. OwO My mothew! Fathew ÚwÚ and mothew >_> is x3 man ÚwÚ and :33 wife; x3 man ÚwÚ and >w< wife >_> is 
one flesh; ÚwÚ and >_> so, x3 my x3 mothew. ^.^ Come, fow England! 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
;;w;; King. Follow ^.^ him uWu at >w< foot; tempt ^.^ him with ^w^ speed UwU aboawd. 
^-^ Deway >w< it x3 nyot; I'll uWu have ^.^ him >w< hence to-night. 
>_> Away! fow evewything >_> is OwO seaw'd ÚwÚ and donye 
:33 That >_> ewse weans on x3 th' ÚwÚ affaiw. >_> Pway xDD you >_< make ^.^ haste. 
Exeunt Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and xDD Guiwdenstewn] 
^.^ And, England, >_> if x3 my wuv xDD thou ;;w;; howd'st uWu at ^w^ aught,- 
;;w;; As x3 my great powew thereof OwO may UwU give uWu thee sense, 
Since yet >w< thy cicatrice :33 wooks >w< waw ÚwÚ and red 
>w< Aftew x3 the OwO Danyish uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and >w< thy fwee OwO awe 
UwU Pays UwU homage to :3 us,- xDD thou uWu mayst nyot coldly uWu set 
Our suvweign pwocess, which imports uWu at >_> fuww, 
^-^ By x3 wettews congwuing to :3 that xDD effect, 
uWu The xDD pwesent :33 death of x3 Hamwet. Do :33 it, x3 Engwand; 
For ^.^ wike x3 the hectic uWu in x3 my :3 bwood ^.^ he ^w^ wages, 
xDD And xDD thou ^w^ must >w< cuwe x3 me. Tiww UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis :33 donye, 
Howe'er x3 my ÚwÚ haps, x3 my joys :3 wewe ^w^ nye'ew xDD begun. ÚwÚ Exit. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



Scene :33 IV. 
Near OwO Ewsinyowe. 

Entew Fortinbras with :33 his :33 Awmy uvw x3 the stage. 

Fow. ^w^ Go, xDD Captain, from ;;w;; me x3 gweet x3 the OwO Danyish king. 
Teww ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ by :33 his x3 wicense Fortinbras 
Cwaves x3 the :33 conveyance of :3 a pwomis'd :33 mawch 
Over :33 his >_> kingdom. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the >w< wendezvous. 
>_> if :3 that :33 his ;;w;; Majesty ^.^ wouwd ^.^ aught with us, 
We UwU shaww express UwU ouw >_> duty uWu in :33 his >_< eye; 
xDD And wet ^.^ him ^.^ knyow :3 so. 
uWu Capt. UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; do't, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Fow. Go softly :3 on. 
Exeunt [all >_> but x3 the :3 Captain]. 

Entew Hamlet, Wosencwantz, ^w^ [Guiwdenstewn,] ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. 

xDD Ham. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, x3 whose ÚwÚ powews OwO awe xDD these? 
uWu Capt. ^-^ They OwO awe of x3 Nyowway, sir. 
xDD Ham. How ;;w;; puwpos'd, ^w^ siw, UwU I pray you? 
uWu Capt. ^w^ Against x3 some ÚwÚ pawt of ^w^ Powand. 
xDD Ham. Who ;;w;; commands ÚwÚ them, UwU siw? 
uWu Capt. uWu The nephew to ;;w;; owd x3 Nyowway, Fowtinbwas. 
xDD Ham. x3 Goes >w< it OwO against x3 the :33 main of uWu Powand, ^w^ siw, 
:33 Ow fow x3 some frontier? 
uWu Capt. Truly to :3 speak, ÚwÚ and with nyo addition, 
We OwO go to ^.^ gain :3 a xDD wittwe patch of x3 gwound 
:33 That hath uWu in >w< it nyo pwofit >_> but x3 the nyame. 
;;w;; To x3 pay five OwO ducats, ÚwÚ five, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ;;w;; fawm uWu it; 
x3 Nyow xDD wiww >w< it yield to ^w^ Nyowway ow x3 the uWu Powe 
^-^ A >_> wankew rate, >_> shouwd >w< it be sold uWu in fee. 
xDD Ham. Why, xDD then x3 the xDD Powack >_< nyevew xDD wiww ;;w;; defend :3 it. 
uWu Capt. Yes, >w< it >_> is xDD awweady >_> gawwison'd. 
xDD Ham. Two thousand >w< souws ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty thousand ;;w;; ducats 
Will nyot debate x3 the ;;w;; question of ÚwÚ this stwaw. 
This >_> is x3 th' imposthume of much weawth ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ peace, 
:33 That inward bweaks, ÚwÚ and >_< shows nyo cause ^-^ without 
Why x3 the x3 man dies.- UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank UwU you, sir. 
uWu Capt. ^w^ God ^-^ b' ÚwÚ wi' UwU you, sir. ^-^ [Exit.] 
Wos. Will't uWu pwease xDD you x3 go, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. I'll be with xDD you stwaight. Go :3 a xDD wittwe befowe. 
UwU [Exeunt aww >_> but ÚwÚ Hamwet.] 
How aww ÚwÚ occasions UwU do infowm OwO against ;;w;; me 
xDD And ^w^ spuw x3 my dull wevenge! >_> What >_> is :3 a ^w^ man, 
;;w;; If :33 his uWu chief ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and xDD mawket of :33 his time 
^w^ Be >_> but to :33 sweep ÚwÚ and feed? ^-^ A ^.^ beast, nyo more. 
Sure ^.^ he :3 that UwU made >_> us with xDD such large discouwse, 
^w^ Wooking >w< befowe ÚwÚ and after, uWu gave >_> us nyot 
:33 That xDD capabiwity ÚwÚ and godlike reason 
;;w;; To x3 fust uWu in >_> us x3 unyus'd. >_> Nyow, >w< whethew >w< it be 
Bestial >_> obwivion, ow x3 some ^.^ cwaven :33 scwupwe 
Of uWu thinking ^w^ too ^-^ pwecisewy on x3 th' xDD event,- 
^-^ A xDD thought ^w^ which, quarter'd, hath >_> but one ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ wisdom 
xDD And OwO evew >w< thwee parts >_< cowawd,- UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow 
Why yet UwU I ^w^ wive to >_> say 'This ^w^ thing's to OwO do,' 
Sith UwU I uWu have >_< cause, ÚwÚ and :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and >_< stwength, ÚwÚ and means 
;;w;; To >_< do't. Examples gwoss >_< as ^.^ eawth exhowt x3 me. 
Witness ÚwÚ this ^.^ awmy of xDD such :3 mass ÚwÚ and charge, 
UwU Wed ^.^ by :3 a xDD dewicate ÚwÚ and xDD tendew >_< pwince, 
>_< Whose ^-^ spiwit, with divine ^-^ ambition xDD puff'd, 
:3 Makes mouths uWu at x3 the invisible uWu event, 
ÚwÚ Exposing >_> what >_> is >w< mowtaw ÚwÚ and unsuwe 
;;w;; To aww :3 that fowtunye, UwU death, ÚwÚ and danger x3 dawe, 
Even fow >w< an :3 eggsheww. xDD Wightwy to be great 
Is nyot to stir ^-^ without great :33 awgument, 
OwO But OwO gweatwy to find ^-^ quawwew uWu in :3 a >w< stwaw 
x3 When x3 honyouw's uWu at x3 the >_< stake. How stand UwU I >w< then, 
:33 That uWu have :3 a >w< fathew >_< kwww'd, :3 a mothew :33 stain'd, 
:33 Excitements of x3 my reason ÚwÚ and x3 my bwood, 
xDD And wet aww sweep, OwO whiwe to x3 my ^-^ shame UwU I >_> see 
uWu The imminyent :33 death of ÚwÚ twenty thousand ;;w;; men 
:33 That fow :3 a fantasy ÚwÚ and twick of fame 
Go to uWu theiw gwaves ^.^ wike :3 beds, >w< fight fow :3 a :3 pwot 
Wheweon x3 the xDD nyumbews ;;w;; cannyot >_> twy x3 the >_< cause, 
>_< Which >_> is nyot tomb enough ÚwÚ and continyent 
;;w;; To hide x3 the slain? >_< O, from ÚwÚ this time ^-^ fowth, 
OwO My >_< thoughts be x3 bwoody, ow be >_< nyothing :33 wowth! ÚwÚ Exit. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



Scene V. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew uWu Howatio, :3 Queen, ÚwÚ and :3 a ^w^ Gentweman. 

ÚwÚ Queen. UwU I xDD wiww nyot speak with her. 
>_> Gent. :33 She >_> is importunate, ÚwÚ indeed x3 distwact. 
:3 Hew ^w^ mood xDD wiww >_< nyeeds be >_> pitied. 
ÚwÚ Queen. >_> What ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she have? 
>_> Gent. :33 She xDD speaks much of her father; ;;w;; says ^.^ she x3 heaws 
>_> Thewe's tricks :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ hems, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beats her heawt; 
:33 Spuwns enviously uWu at straws; xDD speaks ^.^ things uWu in doubt, 
:33 That carry >_> but half ÚwÚ sense. :3 Hew ÚwÚ speech >_> is uWu nyothing, 
ÚwÚ Yet x3 the >_< unshaped use of >w< it xDD doth move 
uWu The ÚwÚ heawews to cowwection; ;;w;; they aim uWu at :33 it, 
xDD And x3 botch x3 the wowds x3 up ;;w;; fit to uWu theiw UwU own thoughts; 
>_< Which, >_< as her winks ÚwÚ and uWu nyods ÚwÚ and >_< gestuwes yield ÚwÚ them, 
:33 Indeed ^.^ wouwd >_< make one think there ^w^ might be ^-^ thought, 
;;w;; Though >_< nyothing x3 suwe, yet much unhappily. 
>_< How. uWu 'Twewe ÚwÚ good ^.^ she :3 wewe >w< spoken x3 with; fow ^.^ she OwO may strew 
^w^ Dangewous conjectures uWu in :33 iww-bweeding UwU minds. 
ÚwÚ Queen. Let her come ^.^ in. 
;;w;; [Exit >_> Gentweman.] 
:3 [Aside] ;;w;; To x3 my >w< sick :3 souw >_< (as xDD sin's true ÚwÚ nyatuwe xDD is) 
x3 Each uWu toy ;;w;; seems Prologue to x3 some great ;;w;; amiss. 
^w^ So full of :33 awtwess ^.^ jeawousy >_> is guilt 
^.^ It spills itsewf uWu in feawing to be spiwt. 

Entew x3 Ophewia distracted. 

:33 Oph. Whewe >_> is x3 the beauteous ;;w;; Majesty of Denmawk? 
ÚwÚ Queen. How now, :3 Ophewia? 
:33 Oph. uWu (sings) 
How >_> shouwd UwU I x3 youw :3 twue-wuv ^.^ knyow 
Fwom anyothew onye? 
^-^ By :33 his :33 cockwe ;;w;; bat uWu and' uWu staff 
xDD And :33 his sandal shoon. 

ÚwÚ Queen. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 sweet UwU wady, >_> what imports ÚwÚ this ;;w;; song? 
:33 Oph. x3 Say you? Nyay, pray >_> You >w< mawk. 

(Sings) >w< He >_> is >_< dead ÚwÚ and >w< gonye, UwU wady, 
>w< He >_> is >_< dead ÚwÚ and xDD gonye; 
At :33 his >_> head :3 a grass-green tuwf, 
At :33 his heels :3 a uWu stonye. 

>_< O, ho! 
ÚwÚ Queen. Nyay, >_> but Ophewia- 
:33 Oph. >_> Pway xDD you >w< mawk. 

(Sings) ^-^ White :33 his shroud >_< as x3 the OwO mountain snow- 

Entew ;;w;; King. 

ÚwÚ Queen. ÚwÚ Awas, wook UwU hewe, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
:33 Oph. (Sings) 
Wawded aww with x3 sweet >_> fwowews; 
>_< Which ^w^ bewept to x3 the :3 gwave uWu did nyot OwO go 
With :3 twue-wuv UwU showews. 

;;w;; King. How UwU do UwU you, OwO pwetty x3 wady? 
:33 Oph. xDD Weww, ^w^ God ;;w;; diwd you! ^-^ They >_> say x3 the owl UwU was :3 a >w< bakew's >w< daughtew. 
Wowd, ^.^ we ^.^ knyow >_> what ^.^ we awe, >_> but ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what ^.^ we OwO may >w< be. ^w^ God be uWu at 
x3 youw tabwe! 
;;w;; King. Conceit ;;w;; upon her :33 fathew. 
:33 Oph. >_> Pway >_> wet's uWu have nyo wowds of >_< this; >_> but when ;;w;; they >_< ask, xDD you >_> what 
>w< it >_< means, >_> say xDD you :33 this: 

(Sings) >_< To-mowwow >_> is Saint UwU Vawentinye's ^-^ day, 
All uWu in x3 the mownying bedtime, 
xDD And UwU I :3 a >_< maid uWu at x3 youw >_< window, 
;;w;; To be x3 youw x3 Vawentinye. 

UwU Then x3 up ^.^ he wose ÚwÚ and donn'd :33 his ^-^ cwo'es 
xDD And >_> dupp'd x3 the x3 chambew door, 
Let uWu in x3 the ;;w;; maid, :3 that x3 out :3 a >_< maid 
xDD Nyevew ^.^ depawted more. 

;;w;; King. x3 Pwetty Ophewia! 
:33 Oph. >w< Indeed, la, ^-^ without >w< an ;;w;; oath, I'll >_< make >w< an >w< end x3 on't! 

OwO [Sings] ^-^ By :33 Gis ÚwÚ and ^.^ by Saint Charity, 
xDD Awack, ÚwÚ and fie fow x3 shame! 
Young ;;w;; men xDD wiww do't >_> if ;;w;; they come uWu to't 
^-^ By Cock, ;;w;; they OwO awe to blame. 

Quoth uWu she, :3 'Befowe xDD you >_> tumbwed uWu me, 
>_> You pwomis'd ;;w;; me to x3 wed.' 

>w< He answers: 

x3 'So ^.^ wouwd UwU I >_> 'a' :33 donye, ^.^ by yonder sun, 
^-^ An xDD thou >w< hadst nyot come to x3 my bed.' 

;;w;; King. How ^-^ wong hath ^.^ she :33 been >_< thus? 
:33 Oph. UwU I UwU hope aww xDD wiww be well. We ^w^ must be UwU patient; >_> but UwU I ;;w;; cannyot 
choose >_> but xDD weep to think ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd uWu way ^.^ him :33 i' x3 th' UwU cowd :33 gwound. 
OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew UwU shaww ^.^ knyow of uWu it; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw ÚwÚ good 
:3 counsew. ^.^ Come, x3 my ÚwÚ coach! ^-^ Good night, wadies. ^-^ Good night, x3 sweet 
wadies. ^-^ Good night, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. uWu Exit 
;;w;; King. Follow her close; UwU give her ÚwÚ good >w< watch, UwU I pray OwO you. 
;;w;; [Exit Horatio.] 
>_< O, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the x3 poison of >_> deep gwief; >w< it springs 
All from her father's death. x3 O >_> Gewtwude, >_> Gewtwude, 
x3 When ^w^ sowwows come, ;;w;; they come nyot :3 singwe ÚwÚ spies. 
OwO But uWu in battalions! ^.^ Fiwst, her >w< fathew slain; 
uWu Nyext, uWu Youw >_< son >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU most :3 viowent ÚwÚ authow 
Of :33 his UwU own >w< just :3 wemuv; x3 the OwO peopwe muddied, 
^-^ Thick ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ and ^.^ unwhowesome uWu in uWu theiw >_< thoughts ÚwÚ and :3 whispews 
For ÚwÚ good >_< Powonyius' UwU death, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we uWu have donye >_> but greenly 
^w^ In huggew-muggew to >_> intew him; OwO Poow x3 Ophewia 
>_< Divided from herself ÚwÚ and her fair-judgment, 
Without x3 the which ^.^ we OwO awe :3 Pictuwes ow mere ÚwÚ beasts; 
ÚwÚ Wast, ÚwÚ and >_< as xDD such xDD containying >_< as aww OwO these, 
:3 Hew ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is uWu in secret come from Fwance; 
xDD And wants nyot buzzews to ÚwÚ infect :33 his ear 
>_< Feeds on :33 his OwO wondew, uWu keep, >_< himsewf uWu in >_> cwouds, 
With pestilent uWu speeches of :33 his father's UwU death, 
^-^ Whewein necessity, of ;;w;; mattew :3 beggaw'd, 
Will >_< nyothing OwO stick Our ÚwÚ pewson to arraign 
^w^ In ear ÚwÚ and :3 eaw. x3 O x3 my uWu deaw >_> Gewtwude, uWu this, 
Wike to :3 a uWu muwd'wing >_< piece, uWu in UwU many pwaces 
Give, ;;w;; me supewfwuous death. ^-^ A noise x3 within. 
ÚwÚ Queen. xDD Awack, >_> what noise >_> is :3 this? 
;;w;; King. Whewe OwO awe x3 my uWu Switzews? Let them xDD guawd x3 the UwU doow. 

Entew :3 a Messengew. 

>_> What >_> is x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
:33 Mess. :3 Save >_< Youwsewf, x3 my wowd: 
uWu The ;;w;; ocean, overpeering of :33 his wist, 
UwU Eats nyot x3 the >w< fwats with ^.^ mowe ;;w;; impetuous ^.^ haste 
Than Young Waewtes, uWu in :3 a riotous head, 
^.^ O'ewbeaws uWu Youw x3 offices. uWu The rabble caww ^.^ him wowd; 
^.^ And, >_< as x3 the wowwd :3 wewe nyow >_> but to :3 begin, 
:33 Antiquity >w< fowgot, ;;w;; custom nyot ^-^ knyown, 
uWu The ^.^ watifiews ÚwÚ and x3 pwops of every word, 
^-^ They cwy >w< 'Choose ^-^ we! Waewtes UwU shaww be ÚwÚ king!' 
UwU Caps, ^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and tongues appwaud >w< it to x3 the >_> cwouds, 
^.^ 'Waewtes UwU shaww be x3 king! Waewtes ÚwÚ king!' 
^-^ A noise x3 within. 
ÚwÚ Queen. How cheerfully on x3 the UwU fawse trail ;;w;; they cwy! 
>_< O, ÚwÚ this >_> is countew, xDD you UwU fawse OwO Danyish x3 dogs! 
;;w;; King. uWu The x3 doows OwO awe >_< bwoke. 

Entew Waewtes with ÚwÚ othews. 

Waew. Whewe >_> is ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ king?- uWu Siws, staid xDD you aww uWu without. 
All. :3 Nyo, >_> wet's come :3 in! 
Waew. UwU I pray xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me >_< weave. 
All. We :33 wiww, ^.^ we will! 
Waew. UwU I >_> thank OwO you. ^w^ Keep x3 the UwU doow. UwU [Exeunt :33 his Fowwowews.] 
x3 O xDD thou ^-^ viwe OwO king, 
Give ;;w;; me x3 my ;;w;; fathew! 
ÚwÚ Queen. Calmly, ÚwÚ good x3 Waewtes. 
Waew. :33 That >_< dwop of :3 bwood ^w^ that's ÚwÚ cawm proclaims ;;w;; me bastawd; 
>w< Cwies cuckold to x3 my father; >_> bwands x3 the hawwot 
Even OwO hewe ^-^ between x3 the >w< chaste unsmiwched ^w^ bwows 
Of x3 my true x3 mothew. 
;;w;; King. >_> What >_> is x3 the >_< cause, Waewtes, 
:33 That >w< thy ;;w;; webewwion :33 wooks UwU so x3 giantwike? 
Let ^.^ him x3 go, x3 Gewtwude. Do nyot feaw UwU ouw person. 
>_> Thewe's xDD such >w< divinyity xDD doth ^-^ hedge :3 a x3 king 
:33 That UwU tweason ^.^ can >_> but xDD peep to >_> what >w< it :3 wouwd, 
uWu Acts xDD wittwe of :33 his :33 wiww. Teww uWu me, Waewtes, 
Why xDD thou awt OwO thus :3 incens'd. Let ^.^ him x3 go, x3 Gewtwude. 
ÚwÚ Speak, man. 
Waew. Whewe >_> is x3 my father? 
;;w;; King. ^.^ Dead. 
ÚwÚ Queen. OwO But nyot ^.^ by x3 him! 
;;w;; King. Let ^.^ him ;;w;; demand :33 his x3 fiww. 
Waew. How ^-^ came ^.^ he dead? I'll nyot be >_< juggwed with: 
;;w;; To >_> heww, ^-^ awwegiance! ^w^ vows, to x3 the bwackest ^.^ deviw 
;;w;; Conscience ÚwÚ and gwace, to x3 the :3 pwofoundest pit! 
UwU I dawe xDD damnyation. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ this :33 point UwU I x3 stand, 
:33 That both x3 the ^w^ wowwd, UwU I UwU give to >_> nyegwigence, 
Let come >_> what ;;w;; comes; >w< onwy I'll be ^w^ weveng'd 
:3 Most throughly fow x3 my :33 fathew. 
;;w;; King. Who UwU shaww xDD stay you? 
Waew. OwO My :33 wiww, nyot aww x3 the ;;w;; wowwd! 
xDD And fow x3 my >_< means, I'll :33 husband them UwU so weww 
^-^ They UwU shaww OwO go uWu faw with ^.^ wittwe. 
;;w;; King. ^-^ Good Waewtes, 
;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ desiwe to ^.^ knyow x3 the cewtainty 
Of x3 youw uWu deaw father's UwU death, :3 is't ^-^ wwit uWu in uWu Youw xDD wevenge 
:33 That >_> swoopstake xDD you xDD wiww dwaw both :33 fwiend ÚwÚ and x3 foe, 
:33 Winnyew ÚwÚ and >w< wosew? 
Waew. ^-^ Nyonye >_> but :33 his enemies. 
;;w;; King. Will xDD you ^.^ knyow them ^w^ then? 
Waew. ;;w;; To :33 his ÚwÚ good ^w^ fwiends OwO thus uWu wide I'll ^w^ ope x3 my :3 awms 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike x3 the uWu kind life-rend'ring uWu pewican, 
^.^ Wepast them with x3 my blood. 
;;w;; King. Why, nyow >_> You speak 
Wike :3 a ÚwÚ good chiwd ÚwÚ and :3 a true :3 gentweman. 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; guiwtwess of x3 youw father's UwU death, 
xDD And ^w^ am UwU most ^-^ sensibwy uWu in grief fow :33 it, 
^.^ It UwU shaww >_< as ^w^ wevew to x3 youw ^w^ judgment xDD piewce 
;;w;; As day does to x3 youw :33 eye. 
^-^ A noise within: ^w^ 'Wet her come in.' 
Waew. How ^.^ nyow? >_> What noise >_> is ^-^ that? 

Entew UwU Ophewia. 

x3 O ^.^ heat, xDD dwy x3 up x3 my OwO bwains! Tears ÚwÚ seven times ^-^ sawt 
Burn x3 out x3 the sense ÚwÚ and viwtue of >_< minye OwO eye! 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, >w< thy ^-^ madnyess UwU shaww be paid ^.^ by >_> weight 
Tiww UwU ouw scale turn x3 the ;;w;; beam. x3 O wose of May! 
>_< Deaw ;;w;; maid, uWu kind ^-^ sistew, x3 sweet Ophewia! 
x3 O OwO heavens! :3 is't OwO possibwe :3 a xDD young maid's :33 wits 
Should be >_< as >w< mowtaw >_< as >w< an ;;w;; owd :33 man's :33 wife? 
ÚwÚ Nyatuwe >_> is OwO finye uWu in xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and :3 whewe UwU 'tis uWu finye, 
^.^ It OwO sends x3 some >_< pwecious uWu instance of itsewf 
>w< Aftew x3 the ^.^ thing >w< it :3 wuvs. 

:33 Oph. uWu (sings) 
^-^ They bore ^.^ him UwU bawefac'd on x3 the bier 
OwO (Hey uWu nyon :3 nyony, :3 nyony, >_> hey nyony) 
xDD And uWu in :33 his :3 gwave ^w^ wain'd UwU many :3 a >_> teaw. 

>w< Fawe xDD you weww, x3 my dove! 
Waew. UwU Hadst xDD thou >w< thy UwU wits, ÚwÚ and :33 didst :33 pewsuade UwU wevenge, 
^.^ It couwd nyot move OwO thus. 
:33 Oph. >_> You ^w^ must ^.^ sing x3 'A-down ^.^ a-down, ÚwÚ and xDD you caww ^.^ him :3 a-down-a.' >_< O, 
>w< how x3 the wheew x3 becomes :3 it! ^.^ It >_> is x3 the UwU fawse x3 stewawd, :3 that OwO stowe :33 his 
xDD mastew's >w< daughtew. 
Waew. This >w< nyothing's ^.^ mowe than :3 mattew. 
:33 Oph. >_> Thewe's ^.^ wosemawy, ^w^ that's fow :3 wemembwance. >_> Pway UwU you, xDD wuv, 
^.^ wemembew. xDD And there >_> is ;;w;; pansies, ^w^ that's fow >w< thoughts. 
Waew. ^-^ A x3 document uWu in madness! Thoughts ÚwÚ and wemembwance ;;w;; fitted. 
:33 Oph. >_> Thewe's >w< fennyew fow UwU you, ÚwÚ and ^-^ cowumbinyes. >_> Thewe's rue fow UwU you, 
ÚwÚ and hewe's x3 some fow x3 me. We OwO may caww >w< it OwO hewb of xDD gwace ^.^ o' :33 Sundays. 
>_< O, xDD you ^w^ must ^-^ weaw x3 youw rue with :3 a >_< diffewence! >_> Thewe's :3 a OwO daisy. UwU I 
^.^ wouwd UwU give xDD you x3 some :33 viowets, >_> but ;;w;; they :33 withew'd aww when x3 my >w< fathew 
ÚwÚ died. ^-^ They >_> say ^.^ he UwU made :3 a ÚwÚ good OwO end. 

OwO [Sings] For ^w^ bonny x3 sweet Wobin >_> is aww x3 my ^-^ joy. 

Waew. ;;w;; Thought ÚwÚ and ^-^ affwiction, ^-^ passion, heww itself, 
:33 She tuwns to ^.^ favouw ÚwÚ and to prettiness. 
:33 Oph. uWu (sings) 
xDD And xDD wiww ^.^ he nyot come ^w^ again? 
xDD And xDD wiww ^.^ he nyot come ^w^ again? 
:3 Nyo, no, ^.^ he >_> is UwU dead; 
Go to >w< thy ^.^ deathbed; 
>w< He >_< nyevew xDD wiww come ;;w;; again. 

ÚwÚ His ^w^ beawd UwU was >_< as ^-^ white >_< as ;;w;; snyow, 
All OwO fwaxen UwU was :33 his :3 poww. 
>w< He >_> is >w< gonye, ^.^ he >_> is >w< gonye, 
xDD And ^.^ we ;;w;; cast OwO away ^w^ moan. 
^w^ God ;;w;; 'a'mewcy on :33 his souw! 

xDD And of aww Christian souws, UwU I pray >_< God. ^w^ God ^-^ b' >w< wi', OwO you. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
Waew. Do xDD you >_> see uWu this, x3 O ;;w;; God? 
;;w;; King. Waewtes, UwU I ^w^ must commune with x3 youw gwief, 
:33 Ow xDD you UwU deny ;;w;; me ÚwÚ wight. Go >_> but >_< apawt, 
^-^ Make UwU choice of ÚwÚ whom x3 youw :33 wisest ^w^ fwiends xDD you :33 wiww, 
xDD And ;;w;; they UwU shaww hear ÚwÚ and OwO judge 'twixt xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 me. 
;;w;; If ^.^ by direct ow ^.^ by cowwatewaw uWu hand 
^-^ They find >_> us ^-^ touch'd, ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU ouw ^w^ kingdom give, 
Our :3 cwown, UwU ouw :3 wife, ÚwÚ and aww :3 that ^.^ we caww >_> ouws, 
;;w;; To xDD you uWu in satisfaction; >_> but >_> if >_> nyot, 
^w^ Be xDD you :3 content to xDD wend x3 youw uWu patience to us, 
xDD And ^.^ we UwU shaww jointly labour with x3 youw :3 souw 
;;w;; To UwU give >w< it >_< due OwO content. 
Waew. Let ÚwÚ this be :3 so. 
ÚwÚ His means of UwU death, :33 his uWu obscuwe uWu funyewaw- 
No ÚwÚ twophy, uWu swowd, nor ^w^ hatchment ^-^ o'ew :33 his xDD bonyes, 
No x3 nyobwe ^-^ wite nor formal :33 ostentation,- 
Cwy to be ^-^ heawd, >_< as >w< 'twewe from heaven to earth, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ must ^w^ caww't uWu in x3 question. 
;;w;; King. ^w^ So xDD you :3 shaww; 
xDD And :3 whewe x3 th' offence >_> is wet x3 the great axe UwU faww. 
UwU I pray xDD you OwO go with x3 me. 
Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



Scene uWu VI. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ÚwÚ Anyothew >_> woom uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew ÚwÚ Howatio with >w< an :33 Attendant. 

>_< How. >_> What OwO awe ;;w;; they :3 that ^.^ wouwd speak with me? 
^.^ Sewvant. UwU Seafawing men, sir. ^-^ They >_> say ;;w;; they uWu have x3 wettews fow OwO you. 
>_< How. Let them come ^.^ in. 
;;w;; [Exit :33 Attendant.] 
UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow from >_> what ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the wowwd 
UwU I >_> shouwd be gweeted, >_> if nyot from Lord x3 Hamwet. 

Entew ^w^ Saiwows. 

Sailor. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess UwU you, sir. 
>_< How. Let ^.^ him ;;w;; bwess uWu thee UwU too. 
Sailor. >_> 'A UwU shaww, ^w^ siw, UwU an't uWu pwease ^.^ him. >_> Thewe's :3 a >_> wettew fow UwU you, 
:33 siw,- >w< it x3 comes from x3 th' ambassador :3 that UwU was bound fow Engwand- >_> if 
x3 youw xDD nyame be uWu Howatio, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am wet to ^.^ knyow >w< it >w< is. 
>_< How. uWu (weads x3 the letter) 'Howatio, when xDD thou shalt uWu have ^-^ uvwwook'd 
uWu this, UwU give these ^w^ fewwows x3 some means to x3 the ;;w;; King. ^-^ They uWu have 
x3 wettews fow ^.^ him. Ere ^.^ we :3 wewe >w< two OwO days ;;w;; owd uWu at :33 sea, :3 a pirate of 
xDD vewy warlike ;;w;; appointment uWu gave >_> us ^w^ chase. Finding ouwsewves ^w^ too 
slow of sail, ^.^ we put on :3 a compelled uWu vawouw, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the uWu gwappwe UwU I 
boawded OwO them. On x3 the x3 instant ;;w;; they ^w^ got ^-^ cweaw of UwU ouw >_< ship; UwU so UwU I 
awonye ÚwÚ became uWu theiw ^w^ pwisonyew. ^-^ They uWu have ^w^ deawt with ;;w;; me ^.^ wike thieves 
of ÚwÚ mewcy; >_> but ;;w;; they UwU knyew >_> what ;;w;; they UwU did: UwU I ^w^ am to UwU do :3 a ÚwÚ good turn fow 
OwO them. Let x3 the ^w^ King uWu have x3 the x3 wettews UwU I uWu have ;;w;; sent, ÚwÚ and repair xDD thou 
to ;;w;; me with >_< as much ^w^ speed >_< as xDD thou wouldst fwy death. UwU I uWu have wowds 
to speak uWu in ^.^ thinye ear xDD wiww >_< make uWu thee ^-^ dumb; yet OwO awe ;;w;; they much ^w^ too 
>w< wight fow x3 the bore of x3 the :3 mattew. ;;w;; These ÚwÚ good ^w^ fewwows xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing 
uWu thee :3 whewe UwU I am. Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and ^-^ Guiwdenstewn howd uWu theiw course 
fow ^w^ Engwand. Of them UwU I uWu have much to tell thee. uWu Faweweww. 
^-^ 'He :3 that xDD thou knowest xDD thinye, x3 HAMWET.' 

^.^ Come, UwU I xDD wiww UwU give xDD you uWu way fow these x3 youw letters, 
xDD And do't x3 the speediew :3 that xDD you OwO may direct ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To ^.^ him from ÚwÚ whom xDD you ^.^ bwought OwO them. :33 Exeunt. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



Scene ^-^ VII. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ÚwÚ Anyothew >_> woom uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew ^w^ King ÚwÚ and x3 Waewtes. 

;;w;; King. Now ^w^ must x3 youw >_> conscience x3 my acquittance ÚwÚ seaw, 
xDD And >_> You ^w^ must put ;;w;; me uWu in x3 youw >_< heawt fow fwiend, 
Sith xDD you uWu have ^-^ heawd, ÚwÚ and with :3 a x3 knyowing eaw, 
:33 That ^.^ he which hath x3 youw x3 nyobwe >w< fathew :3 swain 
x3 Puwsued x3 my life. 
Waew. ^.^ It weww :3 appeaws. OwO But tell ;;w;; me 
Why xDD you >_< pwoceeded nyot OwO against these ^w^ feats 
^w^ So UwU cwimefuw ÚwÚ and UwU so >w< capitaw uWu in nyatuwe, 
;;w;; As ^.^ by x3 youw safety, wisdom, aww ^.^ things else, 
>_> You UwU mainwy :3 wewe stirr'd :33 up. 
;;w;; King. >_< O, fow >w< two >_> speciaw ^w^ weasons, 
>_< Which OwO may to UwU you, :3 pewhaps, seein much :3 unsinyew'd, 
OwO But yet to ;;w;; me ;;w;; they OwO awe strong. uWu The xDD Queen :33 his mothew 
Wives almost ^.^ by :33 his looks; ÚwÚ and fow >_< mysewf,- 
OwO My viwtue ow x3 my :3 pwague, be >w< it xDD eithew ^.^ which,- 
>_> She's UwU so ^w^ conjunctive to x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and :3 souw 
^.^ That, >_< as x3 the :33 staw moves nyot >_> but uWu in :33 his OwO sphewe, 
UwU I couwd nyot >_> but ^.^ by her. uWu The othew motive 
Why to :3 a public ;;w;; count UwU I ^w^ might nyot OwO go 
Is x3 the great wuv x3 the general >_> gendew UwU beaw :3 him, 
UwU Who, uWu dipping aww :33 his :33 fauwts uWu in uWu theiw :33 affection, 
Wouwd, ^.^ wike x3 the ^-^ spwing :3 that tuwnyeth uWu wood to OwO stonye, 
Convewt :33 his ;;w;; gives to graces; UwU so :3 that x3 my awwows, 
Too swightwy OwO timbew'd fow UwU so ÚwÚ woud :3 a ;;w;; wind, 
Wouwd uWu have OwO wevewted to x3 my bow OwO again, 
xDD And nyot :3 whewe UwU I xDD had OwO aim'd OwO them. 
Waew. xDD And UwU so uWu have UwU I :3 a x3 nyobwe >w< fathew ^.^ wost; 
^-^ A :3 sistew driven x3 into desp'wate ^w^ tewms, 
>_< Whose ^.^ wowth, >_> if pwaises OwO may OwO go back OwO again, 
^w^ Stood ;;w;; chawwengew on ^-^ mount of aww x3 the age 
For her :33 pewfections. OwO But x3 my xDD wevenge xDD wiww x3 come. 
;;w;; King. ^.^ Bweak nyot x3 youw sweeps fow x3 that. >_> You ^w^ must nyot think 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO awe UwU made of ^w^ stuff UwU so flat ÚwÚ and dull 
:33 That ^.^ we ^.^ can wet UwU ouw ^w^ beawd be >_> shook with uWu dangew, 
xDD And think >w< it ÚwÚ pastime. >_> You x3 showtwy UwU shaww hear more. 
UwU I :3 wov'd x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we wuv x3 ouwsewf, 
xDD And :3 that, UwU I hope, xDD wiww >_< teach xDD you to imagine- 

Entew :3 a Messenger with letters. 

How ^.^ nyow? >_> What nyews? 
:33 Mess. >w< Wettews, x3 my uWu wowd, from >_< Hamwet: 
This to x3 youw :3 Majesty; ÚwÚ this to x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. 
;;w;; King. Fwom >_> Hamwet? Who ^.^ bwought them? 
:33 Mess. Saiwows, x3 my uWu wowd, ;;w;; they say; UwU I saw them not. 
^-^ They :3 wewe UwU given ;;w;; me ^.^ by ^w^ Cwaudio; ^.^ he weceiv'd them 
Of ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ bwought OwO them. 
;;w;; King. Waewtes, xDD you UwU shaww hear OwO them. 
Weave >_> us. 
uWu Exit Messengew. 
^.^ [Weads]'High ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Mighty,-You UwU shaww ^.^ knyow UwU I ^w^ am uWu set nyaked on x3 youw 
>_> kingdom. >_< To-mowwow UwU shaww UwU I ÚwÚ beg OwO weave to >_> see x3 youw >_> kingwy eyes; 
when UwU I UwU shaww (first asking x3 youw UwU pawdon thereunto) ^w^ wecount x3 the 
;;w;; occasion of x3 my ^.^ sudden ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe ;;w;; stwange wetuwn. 
:33 'HAMWET.' 
>_> What >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this ^.^ mean? ^w^ Awe aww x3 the xDD west come back? 
:33 Ow >_> is >w< it x3 some ^.^ abuse, ÚwÚ and nyo xDD such ;;w;; thing? 
Waew. xDD Knyow xDD you x3 the hand? 
;;w;; King. 'Tis Hamlet's character. 'Naked!' 
xDD And uWu in :3 a uWu postscwipt UwU hewe, ^.^ he ;;w;; says ÚwÚ 'awonye.' 
UwU Can xDD you ;;w;; advise me? 
Waew. UwU I ^w^ am wost uWu in :33 it, x3 my OwO wowd. OwO But wet ^.^ him >w< come! 
^.^ It xDD wawms x3 the xDD vewy sicknyess uWu in x3 my >_< heawt 
:33 That UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him to :33 his teeth, 
;;w;; 'Thus :3 didest ^w^ thou.' 
;;w;; King. ;;w;; If >w< it be >_> so, Waewtes 
xDD (As >w< how >_> shouwd >w< it be so? >w< how OwO othewwise?), 
Will xDD you be wuw'd ^.^ by me? 
Waew. uWu Ay x3 my uWu wowd, 
^w^ So xDD you xDD wiww nyot o'ewwuwe ;;w;; me to :3 a peace. 
;;w;; King. ;;w;; To ^.^ thinye UwU own peace. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be nyow wetuwn'd 
;;w;; As xDD checking uWu at :33 his >_> voyage, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ he means 
No ^.^ mowe to undewtake :33 it, UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ wowk ^.^ him 
;;w;; To ^.^ expwoit nyow ripe uWu in x3 my >_< device, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the which ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot choose >_> but uWu faww; 
xDD And fow :33 his :33 death nyo wind 
OwO But even :33 his mothew UwU shaww :3 unchawge x3 the pwactice 
xDD And caww >w< it ^w^ accident. 
Waew. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I xDD wiww be wuw'd; 
uWu The UwU wathew, >_> if xDD you couwd >w< devise >w< it UwU so 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ might be x3 the owgan. 
;;w;; King. ^.^ It ^w^ fawws ÚwÚ wight. 
>_> You uWu have :33 been ^w^ tawk'd of xDD since x3 youw travel ÚwÚ much, 
xDD And :3 that uWu in Hamlet's UwU heawing, fow :3 a ;;w;; quawity 
^-^ Whewein ;;w;; they >_> say xDD you shinye, uWu Youw sun of parts 
Did nyot togethew pluck xDD such :3 envy from ^.^ him 
;;w;; As uWu did :3 that onye; ÚwÚ and :3 that, uWu in x3 my regard, 
Of x3 the UwU unwowthiest siege. 
Waew. >_> What ÚwÚ pawt >_> is :3 that, x3 my xDD wowd? 
;;w;; King. ^-^ A xDD vewy riband uWu in x3 the cap of OwO youth- 
ÚwÚ Yet needfull :3 too; fow :33 youth nyo less x3 becomes 
uWu The >w< wight ÚwÚ and xDD cawewess :33 wivewy :3 that >w< it ^-^ weaws 
Thin ^-^ settwed age :33 his >w< sabwes ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ weeds, 
Importing ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and OwO gwavenyess. Two ^w^ months xDD since 
:3 Hewe UwU was :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of :33 Nyowmandy. 
UwU I uWu have :3 seen myself, ÚwÚ and sewv'd >w< against, x3 the Fwench, 
xDD And ;;w;; they ^.^ can weww on howseback; >_> but ÚwÚ this OwO gawwant 
xDD Had uWu witchcwaft ÚwÚ in't. >w< He ^-^ gwew >w< unto :33 his >w< seat, 
xDD And to xDD such wondwous xDD doing ^.^ bwought :33 his UwU howse 
;;w;; As xDD had ^.^ he :33 been incowps'd ÚwÚ and demi-nyatuw'd 
With x3 the >_< bwave beast. ^w^ So uWu faw ^.^ he :3 topp'd x3 my xDD thought 
:33 That I, uWu in fowgewy of >w< shapes ÚwÚ and twicks, 
:3 Come showt of >_> what ^.^ he ^.^ did. 
Waew. ^-^ A ^w^ Nyowman uWu was't? 
;;w;; King. ^-^ A Norman. 
Waew. >_> Upon x3 my :3 wife, ^w^ Wamound. 
;;w;; King. uWu The xDD vewy :33 same. 
Waew. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him well. >w< He >_> is x3 the broach ÚwÚ indeed 
xDD And :33 gem of aww x3 the nyation. 
;;w;; King. >w< He UwU made >_> confession of uWu you; 
xDD And uWu gave xDD you xDD such :3 a masterly wepowt 
For awt ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ exewcise uWu in x3 youw ^w^ defence, 
xDD And fow x3 youw rapier UwU most especiawwy, 
:33 That ^.^ he cried x3 out ^w^ 'twouwd be :3 a ^.^ sight ÚwÚ indeed 
;;w;; If one couwd >_< match OwO you. uWu The scwimews of uWu theiw nation 
>w< He >w< swowe xDD had :3 nyeithew >w< motion, guawd, nor >_< eye, 
;;w;; If xDD you x3 oppos'd OwO them. UwU Siw, ÚwÚ this wepowt of :33 his 
Did ;;w;; Hamwet UwU so envenyom with :33 his :3 envy 
:33 That ^.^ he couwd >_< nyothing UwU do >_> but ÚwÚ wish ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beg 
uWu Youw ^.^ sudden xDD coming ^-^ o'ew to :33 pway with OwO you. 
>_> Nyow, x3 out of OwO this- 
Waew. >_> What x3 out of uWu this, x3 my xDD wowd? 
;;w;; King. Waewtes, UwU was x3 youw >w< fathew uWu deaw to you? 
:33 Ow OwO awe xDD you ^.^ wike x3 the OwO painting of :3 a >_> sowwow, 
^-^ A OwO face ^-^ without :3 a heawt,' 
Waew. Why ^w^ ask xDD you :3 this? 
;;w;; King. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that UwU I think xDD you uWu did nyot wuv x3 youw father; 
OwO But :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow wuv >_> is ÚwÚ begun ^.^ by time, 
xDD And :3 that UwU I see, uWu in >w< passages of uWu pwoof, 
^-^ Time ;;w;; quawifies x3 the spawk ÚwÚ and fire of :3 it. 
>_> Thewe ;;w;; wives within x3 the xDD vewy fwame of wuv 
^-^ A uWu kind of >_> wick ow ;;w;; snyuff :3 that xDD wiww ^-^ abate uWu it; 
xDD And >_< nyothing >_> is uWu at :3 a ^.^ wike xDD goodnyess stiww; 
For ^-^ goodnyess, >_< gwowing to :3 a >_> pwuwisy, 
^-^ Dies uWu in :33 his UwU own too-much. :33 That ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd UwU do, 
We >_> shouwd UwU do when ^.^ we >w< wouwd; fow ÚwÚ this 'wouwd' changes, 
xDD And hath UwU abatements ÚwÚ and delays >_< as UwU many 
;;w;; As there OwO awe tongues, OwO awe ^.^ hands, OwO awe ^.^ accidents; 
xDD And xDD then ÚwÚ this 'shouwd' >_> is ^.^ wike :3 a spendthwift uWu sigh, 
:33 That OwO huwts ^.^ by easing. OwO But to x3 the ^w^ quick ^.^ o' x3 th' ^-^ uwcew! 
;;w;; Hamwet x3 comes back. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you undewtake 
;;w;; To x3 show >_> youwsewf x3 youw father's >_< son uWu in ^.^ deed 
uWu Mowe than uWu in xDD wowds? 
Waew. ;;w;; To :3 cut :33 his ^w^ thwoat :33 i' x3 th' chuwch! 
;;w;; King. No :33 pwace ÚwÚ indeed >_> shouwd muwthew sanctuarize; 
xDD Wevenge >_> shouwd uWu have nyo UwU bounds. But, ÚwÚ good Waewtes, 
Will xDD you UwU do :3 this? ^w^ Keep ^-^ cwose within x3 youw ^.^ chambew. 
Will wetuwn'd UwU shaww ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO awe come >_> home. 
^-^ We'ww put on UwU those UwU shaww praise x3 youw excewwence 
xDD And uWu set :3 a :3 doubwe ^w^ vawnyish on x3 the fame 
uWu The OwO Fwenchman uWu gave uWu you; ;;w;; bwing xDD you uWu in OwO finye togethew 
xDD And wagew on x3 youw :33 heads. ^-^ He, ^.^ being wemiss, 
:3 Most x3 genyewous, ÚwÚ and fwee from aww >_< contwiving, 
Will nyot OwO pewuse x3 the uWu foiws; UwU so :3 that with uWu ease, 
:33 Ow with :3 a xDD wittwe >_< shuffwing, xDD you OwO may choose 
^-^ A xDD swowd ^.^ unbated, x3 and, uWu in :3 a pass of ^-^ pwactice, 
Requite ^.^ him fow x3 youw :33 fathew. 
Waew. UwU I xDD wiww do't! 
xDD And fow :3 that OwO puwpose I'll :33 anyoint x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
UwU I xDD bought >w< an >_< unction of :3 a >_< mountebank, 
^w^ So >w< mowtaw :3 that, >_> but ^.^ dip :3 a knyife uWu in :33 it, 
Whewe >w< it ÚwÚ dwaws :3 bwood nyo cataplasm UwU so wawe, 
Cowwected from aww :33 simpwes :3 that uWu have viwtue 
;;w;; Undew x3 the ;;w;; moon, ^.^ can :3 save x3 the ^.^ thing from :33 death 
This >_> is >_> but UwU scwatch'd uWu withaw. I'll :33 touch x3 my :33 point 
With ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ contagion, :3 that, >_> if UwU I ^.^ gaww ^.^ him slightly, 
^.^ It OwO may be death. 
;;w;; King. :3 Wet's further think of uWu this, 
OwO Weigh >_> what convenience both of time ÚwÚ and means 
^-^ May ;;w;; fit >_> us to UwU ouw UwU shape. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this >_> shouwd ^.^ faww, 
xDD And :3 that UwU ouw dwift wook ^w^ thwough UwU ouw :33 bad performance. 
uWu 'Twewe xDD bettew nyot ;;w;; assay'd. Therefore ÚwÚ this UwU pwoject 
Should uWu have :3 a back ow xDD second, :3 that ^w^ might howd 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this uWu did bwast uWu in :33 pwoof. ;;w;; Soft! wet ;;w;; me ^-^ see. 
^-^ We'ww >_< make :3 a solemn wagew on x3 youw ^-^ cunnyings- 
UwU I UwU ha't! 
x3 When uWu in x3 youw >_> motion xDD you OwO awe :3 hot ÚwÚ and dry- 
;;w;; As >_< make x3 youw OwO bouts ^.^ mowe :3 viowent to :3 that end- 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ he ;;w;; cawws fow dwink, I'll uWu have pwepaw'd ^.^ him 
^-^ A uWu chawice fow x3 the OwO nyonce; wheweon >_> but sipping, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he ^.^ by chance escape x3 youw ;;w;; venyom'd stuck, 
Our OwO puwpose OwO may howd ^-^ thewe.- OwO But ;;w;; stay, >_> what noise, 

Entew ÚwÚ Queen. 

How now, x3 sweet xDD queen? 
ÚwÚ Queen. x3 Onye woe xDD doth ;;w;; twead ;;w;; upon another's ;;w;; heew, 
^w^ So ÚwÚ fast ;;w;; they x3 fowwow. uWu Youw OwO sistew's dwown'd, x3 Waewtes. 
Waew. UwU Dwown'd! >_< O, whewe? 
ÚwÚ Queen. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a wiwwow gwows xDD aswant :3 a ÚwÚ bwook, 
:33 That >_< shows :33 his ÚwÚ hoaw >w< weaves uWu in x3 the :3 gwassy :3 stweam. 
>_> Thewe with ^.^ fantastic gawwands uWu did ^.^ she come 
Of cwowfwowews, >w< nyettwes, x3 daisies, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wong puwpwes, 
:33 That xDD wibewaw xDD shephewds UwU give :3 a gwossew :33 nyame, 
OwO But UwU ouw UwU cowd ^w^ maids UwU do >_< dead men's x3 fingews caww OwO them. 
>_> Thewe on x3 the ;;w;; pendant ^-^ boughs her >_< cowonyet UwU weeds 
^.^ Cwamb'wing to uWu hang, >w< an envious >_> swivew ;;w;; bwoke, 
x3 When down her :33 weedy >_< twophies ÚwÚ and herself 
Feww uWu in x3 the weeping :33 bwook. :3 Hew x3 cwothes ;;w;; spwead uWu wide 
^.^ And, mermaid-like, ^-^ awhiwe ;;w;; they bore her xDD up; 
>_< Which time ^.^ she ^.^ chaunted ^.^ snyatches of ;;w;; owd >w< tunyes, 
;;w;; As one OwO incapabwe of her UwU own UwU distwess, 
:33 Ow ^.^ wike :3 a creature OwO nyative ÚwÚ and :33 indued 
uWu Unto :3 that >_> ewement; >_> but ^-^ wong >w< it couwd nyot be 
Tiww :3 that her garments, x3 heavy with uWu theiw dwink, 
Puww'd x3 the poor uWu wwetch from her melodious uWu way 
;;w;; To >_> muddy death. 
Waew. ÚwÚ Awas, xDD then ^.^ she >_> is dwown'd? 
ÚwÚ Queen. ^w^ Dwown'd, dwown'd. 
Waew. Too much of UwU watew x3 hast UwU thou, poor :33 Ophewia, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe UwU I UwU fowbid x3 my teaws; >_> but yet 
^.^ It >_> is UwU ouw :3 twick; ÚwÚ nyatuwe her ;;w;; custom ^-^ howds, 
Let ^-^ shame >_> say >_> what >w< it :33 wiww. x3 When these OwO awe >w< gonye, 
uWu The OwO woman xDD wiww be OwO out. :3 Adieu, x3 my OwO wowd. 
UwU I uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ speech of ^w^ fiwe, :3 that >_> fain ^.^ wouwd bwaze 
OwO But :3 that ÚwÚ this >w< fowwy ^.^ douts :3 it. ÚwÚ Exit. 
;;w;; King. :3 Wet's follow, x3 Gewtwude. 
How much UwU I xDD had to UwU do to ÚwÚ cawm :33 his xDD wage UwU I 
Now feaw UwU I ÚwÚ this xDD wiww UwU give >w< it start again; 
Therefore >_> wet's x3 fowwow. 
:33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT V. Scene ^.^ I. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A x3 chuwchyawd. 

Entew >w< two x3 Cwowns, ^w^ [with OwO spades ÚwÚ and pickaxes]. 

OwO Cwown. Is ^.^ she to be buried uWu in Christian >w< buwiaw when ^.^ she uWu wiwfuwwy 
>_> seeks her UwU own salvation? 
>w< Othew. UwU I tell uWu thee ^.^ she is; >_< thewefowe >_< make her :3 gwave stwaight. 
uWu The x3 cwownyew hath ÚwÚ sate on hew, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ finds >w< it Christian OwO buwiaw. 
OwO Cwown. How ^.^ can :3 that be, ^w^ unwess ^.^ she >w< dwown'd herself uWu in her UwU own 
xDD defence? 
>w< Othew. Why, UwU 'tis >_> found :3 so. 
OwO Cwown. ^.^ It ^w^ must be :3 se OwO offendendo; >w< it ;;w;; cannyot be ewse. For OwO hewe wies 
x3 the OwO point: >_> if UwU I x3 dwown mysewf wittingly, >w< it ÚwÚ awgues >w< an ÚwÚ act; ÚwÚ and >w< an 
;;w;; act hath >w< thwee bwanches-it >_> is to ;;w;; act, to UwU do, ÚwÚ and to perform; 
uWu awgaw, ^.^ she >w< dwown'd herself >_> wittingwy. 
>w< Othew. Nyay, >_> but hear UwU you, Goodman Dewvew! 
OwO Cwown. Give ;;w;; me >_< weave. :3 Hewe wies x3 the water; UwU good. :3 Hewe >w< stands x3 the 
xDD man; UwU good. ;;w;; If x3 the x3 man OwO go to ÚwÚ this UwU watew ÚwÚ and x3 dwown himsewf, >w< it ;;w;; is, 
xDD wiww ^.^ he >_> nyiww xDD he, ^.^ he ^-^ goes- mark xDD you x3 that. OwO But >_> if x3 the UwU watew come to 
^.^ him ÚwÚ and x3 dwown :3 him, ^.^ he dwowns nyot himself. Argal, ^.^ he :3 that >_> is nyot 
guiwty of :33 his UwU own :33 death ^.^ showtens nyot :33 his UwU own life. 
>w< Othew. OwO But >_> is ÚwÚ this ;;w;; waw? 
OwO Cwown. Ay, marry, >_< is't- ^-^ cwownyew's ^w^ quest law. 
>w< Othew. Will xDD you UwU ha' x3 the uWu twuth ;;w;; an't? ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this xDD had nyot :33 been :3 a 
gentwewoman, ^.^ she >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been buried x3 out ^.^ o' Christian OwO buwiaw. 
OwO Cwown. Why, there xDD thou >w< say'st! xDD And x3 the ^.^ mowe pity :3 that great ^w^ fowk 
>_> shouwd uWu have :33 count'nyance uWu in ÚwÚ this wowwd to x3 dwown ow ^w^ hang x3 themsewves 
^.^ mowe than uWu theiw OwO even-Chwisten. ^.^ Come, x3 my ÚwÚ spade! >_> Thewe >_> is nyo 
UwU ancient gentlemen >_> but :33 gawd'nyews, x3 ditchews, ÚwÚ and gwave-makews. ^-^ They 
howd x3 up :3 Adam's :33 pwofession. 
>w< Othew. Was ^.^ he :3 a gentleman? 
OwO Cwown. >_> 'A UwU was x3 the xDD fiwst :3 that OwO evew bore arms. 
>w< Othew. Why, ^.^ he xDD had none. 
OwO Cwown. What, awt :3 a uWu heathen? How dost xDD thou understand x3 the Scripture? 
uWu The Scripture ;;w;; says Adam uWu digg'd. Could ^.^ he dig ^-^ without >_> awms? I'll 
put anyothew ;;w;; question to thee. ;;w;; If xDD thou :3 answewest ;;w;; me nyot to x3 the 
xDD puwpose, x3 confess thysewf- 
>w< Othew. Go ÚwÚ to! 
OwO Cwown. >_> What >_> is ^.^ he :3 that UwU buiwds stronger than xDD eithew x3 the ^.^ mason, x3 the 
ÚwÚ shipwwight, ow x3 the cawpentew? 
>w< Othew. uWu The :3 gawwows-makew; fow :3 that fwame outlives :3 a thousand 
tenyants. 
OwO Cwown. UwU I ^.^ wike >w< thy wit weww, uWu in ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ faith. uWu The >_< gawwows does well. 
OwO But >w< how does >w< it ^.^ weww? ^.^ It does weww to UwU those :3 that UwU do ill. >_> Nyow, 
xDD thou dost :33 iww to >_> say x3 the >_< gawwows >_> is buiwt stronger than x3 the 
:3 chuwch. Argal, x3 the >_< gawwows OwO may UwU do weww to thee. uWu To't OwO again, >w< come! 
>w< Othew. Who UwU buiwds stronger than :3 a ^.^ mason, :3 a ÚwÚ shipwwight, ow :3 a 
cawpentew? 
OwO Cwown. Ay, tell ;;w;; me :3 that, ÚwÚ and :33 unyoke. 
>w< Othew. OwO Mawwy, nyow UwU I ^.^ can ^-^ teww! 
OwO Cwown. ÚwÚ To't. 
>w< Othew. Mass, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell. 

Entew ;;w;; Hamwet ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Howatio afaw off. 

OwO Cwown. Cudgew >w< thy brains nyo ^.^ mowe about :33 it, fow x3 youw dull >w< ass xDD wiww 
nyot mend :33 his >_> pace with xDD beating; ÚwÚ and when xDD you OwO awe >w< ask'd ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; question next, >_> say xDD 'a :33 gwave-makew.' uWu The xDD houses ^.^ he x3 makes lasts 
>w< tiww OwO doomsday. ^w^ Go, get uWu thee to Yaughan; :3 fetch ;;w;; me :3 a stoup of 
^.^ wiquow. 
;;w;; [Exit ^w^ Second Cwown.] 

UwU [Cwown xDD digs uWu and] UwU sings. 

^w^ In :33 youth when UwU I uWu did xDD wuv, uWu did xDD wuv, 
:33 Methought >w< it UwU was xDD vewy sweet; 
;;w;; To ^-^ contwact- >w< O- x3 the time fow- :3 a- x3 my behove, 
>_< O, >_> methought >_> thewe- :3 a- UwU was >_< nyothing- :3 a- ^.^ meet. 

xDD Ham. x3 Has ÚwÚ this fewwow nyo :33 feewing of :33 his business, :3 that ^.^ he ^-^ sings uWu at 
grave-making? 
>_< How. x3 Custom hath UwU made >w< it uWu in ^.^ him :3 a Pwopewty of :3 easinyess. 
xDD Ham. 'Tis ^w^ e'en :3 so. uWu The uWu hand of xDD wittwe >w< empwoyment hath x3 the ^-^ daintiew 
ÚwÚ sense. 
OwO Cwown. uWu (sings) 
OwO But age with :33 his stealing steps 
>_< Hath x3 cwawed ;;w;; me uWu in :33 his cwutch, 
xDD And hath shipped ;;w;; me >_> intiw x3 the land, 
;;w;; As >_> if UwU I xDD had >_< nyevew :33 been xDD such. 
[Throws x3 up :3 a skuww.] 

xDD Ham. :33 That OwO skuww xDD had :3 a >_> tongue uWu in :33 it, ÚwÚ and couwd ^.^ sing OwO once. How x3 the 
x3 knyave ^.^ jowws >w< it to x3 the ground,as >_> if >w< 'twewe >w< Cain's jawbone, :3 that 
uWu did x3 the xDD fiwst murther! This ^w^ might be x3 the OwO pate of :3 a >_> Powitician, 
which ÚwÚ this >w< ass nyow x3 o'ewweaches; one :3 that ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ ciwcumvent :33 God, 
^w^ might >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
>_< How. ^.^ It xDD might, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. :33 Ow of :3 a couwtiew, which couwd >_> say x3 'Good morrow, x3 sweet ^.^ wowd! 
How dost UwU thou, ÚwÚ good wowd?' This ^w^ might be x3 my Lord UwU Such-a-onye, :3 that 
UwU pwais'd x3 my Lord Such-a-one's UwU howse when ^.^ he meant to ÚwÚ beg OwO it- ^w^ might 
>w< it ^w^ nyot? 
>_< How. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. Why, ^w^ e'en so! ÚwÚ and nyow x3 my xDD Wady Wowm's, chapwess, ÚwÚ and knyock'd 
about x3 the mazzawd with :3 a sexton's spade. >_> Hewe's OwO finye ÚwÚ wevowution, 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD had x3 the twick to ;;w;; see't. Did these bones >_> cost nyo ^.^ mowe x3 the 
xDD bweeding >_> but to :33 pway uWu at ^-^ woggets with OwO 'em? Mine ache to think 
^.^ on't. 
OwO Cwown. (Sings) 
^-^ A pickaxe ÚwÚ and :3 a spade, :3 a spade, 
For ÚwÚ and :3 a OwO shwouding >_< sheet; 
>_< O, :3 a x3 Pit of clay fow to be UwU made 
For xDD such :3 a uWu guest >_> is ^.^ meet. 
Thwows x3 up :33 [anyothew >_< skuww]. 

xDD Ham. >_> Thewe's anyothew. Why OwO may nyot :3 that be x3 the OwO skuww of :3 a >_> wawyew? 
Whewe be :33 his UwU quiddits now, :33 his quiwwets, :33 his ;;w;; cases, :33 his tenures, 
ÚwÚ and :33 his twicks? Why does ^.^ he suffew ÚwÚ this wude x3 knyave nyow to :3 knyock 
^.^ him about x3 the ÚwÚ sconce with :3 a dirty :3 shuvw, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot tell ^.^ him 
of :33 his uWu action of battery? :3 Hum! This fewwow ^w^ might be in's time :3 a 
great :3 buyew of land, with :33 his xDD statutes, :33 his uWu wecognyizances, :33 his 
>_< finyes, :33 his :3 doubwe >w< vouchews, :33 his wecuvwies. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the OwO finye of 
:33 his >_< finyes, ÚwÚ and x3 the wecuvwy of :33 his ^.^ wecuvwies, to uWu have :33 his OwO finye 
OwO pate full of OwO finye uWu diwt? Will :33 his OwO vouchews ÚwÚ vouch ^.^ him nyo ^.^ mowe of 
:33 his ;;w;; puwchases, ÚwÚ and :3 doubwe ^-^ onyes :3 too, than x3 the :33 wength ÚwÚ and bweadth 
of :3 a :33 paiw of >_> indentuwes? uWu The xDD vewy conveyances of :33 his ^-^ wands xDD wiww 
uWu scawcewy >_< wie uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 box; ÚwÚ and ^w^ must x3 th' >w< inhewitow >_< himsewf uWu have nyo 
>_> mowe, ^.^ ha? 
>_< How. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a jot >_> mowe, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. Is nyot pawchment UwU made of uWu sheepskins? 
>_< How. Ay, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD And of UwU cawveskins UwU too. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ They OwO awe sheep ÚwÚ and :33 cawves which >_> seek x3 out assurance uWu in x3 that. UwU I 
xDD wiww speak to ÚwÚ this UwU fewwow. >_< Whose grave's uWu this, ÚwÚ siwwah? 
OwO Cwown. Minye, sir. 

OwO [Sings] >_< O, :3 a pit of clay fow to be UwU made 
For xDD such :3 a uWu guest >_> is ^.^ meet. 

xDD Ham. UwU I think >w< it be ^.^ thinye :33 indeed, fow xDD thou wiest ÚwÚ in't. 
OwO Cwown. >_> You >_< wie x3 out on't, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU 'tis nyot x3 youws. 
For x3 my >_> pawt, UwU I UwU do nyot >_< wie OwO in't, yet >w< it >_> is ^w^ minye. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ Thou dost >_< wie OwO in't, to be OwO in't ÚwÚ and >_> say >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ thinye. 'Tis fow 
x3 the >_< dead, nyot fow x3 the :3 quick; >_< thewefowe xDD thou liest. 
OwO Cwown. 'Tis :3 a ^w^ quick wie, siw; 'twill OwO away again from ;;w;; me to OwO you. 
xDD Ham. >_> What x3 man dost xDD thou dig >w< it for? 
OwO Cwown. For nyo ^w^ man, sir. 
xDD Ham. >_> What OwO woman ^w^ then? 
OwO Cwown. For >_< nyonye >_> nyeithew. 
xDD Ham. Who >_> is to be buried in't? 
OwO Cwown. x3 Onye :3 that UwU was :3 a ^w^ woman, siw; but, xDD west her x3 souw, ^w^ she's uWu dead. 
xDD Ham. How ^w^ absowute x3 the x3 knyave x3 is! We ^w^ must speak ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; cawd, ow 
^.^ equivocation xDD wiww undo >_> us. ^-^ By x3 the Wowd, uWu Howatio, ÚwÚ this >w< thwee years 
UwU I uWu have :33 taken ^-^ nyote of :33 it, x3 the age >_> is grown UwU so xDD picked :3 that x3 the toe 
of x3 the peasant x3 comes UwU so nyeaw x3 the OwO heew of x3 the couwtiew ^.^ he ÚwÚ gawws 
:33 his OwO kibe.- How ^-^ wong x3 hast xDD thou :33 been :3 a OwO gwave-makew? 
OwO Cwown. Of aww x3 the OwO days :33 i' x3 th' >w< yeaw, UwU I ^-^ came uWu to't :3 that day :3 that UwU ouw 
>w< wast x3 king ;;w;; Hamwet overcame Fowtinbwas. 
xDD Ham. How ^-^ wong >_> is :3 that :33 since? 
OwO Cwown. UwU Cannyot xDD you tell ^-^ that? Evewy >w< foow ^.^ can tell x3 that. ^.^ It UwU was x3 the 
xDD vewy day :3 that xDD young ;;w;; Hamwet UwU was bown- ^.^ he :3 that >_> is mad, ÚwÚ and sent 
x3 into ^w^ Engwand. 
xDD Ham. Ay, marry, >w< why UwU was be sent x3 into Engwand? 
OwO Cwown. Why, uWu because xDD 'a UwU was >_> mad. >_> 'A UwU shaww OwO wecuvw :33 his :33 wits uWu thewe; 
or, >_> if xDD 'a UwU do >_> nyot, UwU 'tis nyo great ;;w;; mattew :33 thewe. 
xDD Ham. xDD Why? 
OwO Cwown. 'Twiww nyot ^.^ he :3 seen uWu in ^.^ him :33 thewe. >_> Thewe x3 the ;;w;; men OwO awe >_< as ^-^ mad >_< as 
he. 
xDD Ham. How ^-^ came ^.^ he uWu mad? 
OwO Cwown. Very OwO stwangewy, ;;w;; they :3 say. 
xDD Ham. How stwangewy? 
OwO Cwown. Faith, ^w^ e'en with losing :33 his wits. 
xDD Ham. >_> Upon >_> what ground? 
OwO Cwown. Why, OwO hewe uWu in Denmark. UwU I uWu have :33 been >_> sexton UwU hewe, x3 man ÚwÚ and ;;w;; boy 
;;w;; thiwty years. 
xDD Ham. How ^-^ wong xDD wiww :3 a x3 man >_< wie :33 i' x3 th' ^.^ eawth ere ^.^ he rot? 
OwO Cwown. Faith, >_> if xDD 'a be nyot wotten >w< befowe xDD 'a ^-^ die >_< (as ^.^ we uWu have UwU many 
pocky :33 cowses now-a-days :3 that xDD wiww scawce howd x3 the >w< waying x3 in, UwU I 
xDD wiww >w< wast xDD you x3 some eight xDD yeaw ow >w< nyinye year. ^-^ A :3 tannyew xDD wiww >w< wast 
xDD you >w< nyinye year. 
xDD Ham. Why ^.^ he ^.^ mowe than anyothew? 
OwO Cwown. Why, ^w^ siw, :33 his hide >_> is UwU so ;;w;; tann'd with :33 his OwO twade :3 that xDD 'a xDD wiww 
>_< keep x3 out UwU watew :3 a great while; ÚwÚ and x3 youw UwU watew >_> is :3 a ^w^ sowe decayer of 
x3 youw UwU whoweson >_< dead body. >_> Hewe's :3 a OwO skuww now. This OwO skuww hath lien 
xDD you :33 i' x3 th' ^.^ eawth thwee-and-twenty years. 
xDD Ham. >_< Whose UwU was :33 it? 
OwO Cwown. ^-^ A whoweson, ^-^ mad fellow's >w< it uWu was. >_< Whose UwU do xDD you think >w< it was? 
xDD Ham. Nyay, UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
OwO Cwown. ^-^ A uWu pestiwence on ^.^ him fow :3 a ^-^ mad UwU wogue! >_> 'A :3 pouw'd :3 a :33 fwagon of 
Whenyish on x3 my >_> head OwO once. This same >w< skuww, ^w^ siw, UwU was Yowick's 
>w< skuww, x3 the >_< King's ^w^ jestew. 
xDD Ham. This? 
OwO Cwown. E'en x3 that. 
xDD Ham. Let ;;w;; me ^-^ see. OwO [Takes x3 the skuww.] ÚwÚ Awas, poor >w< Yowick! UwU I UwU knyew :3 him, 
ÚwÚ Howatio. ^-^ A fewwow of :3 infinyite ^.^ jest, of UwU most :3 excewwent OwO fancy. >w< He 
hath :3 bownye ;;w;; me on :33 his back :3 a thousand >_> tunyes. xDD And nyow >w< how ;;w;; abhowwed 
uWu in x3 my xDD imaginyation >w< it x3 is! OwO My xDD gowge wises uWu at :3 it. :3 Hewe UwU hung UwU those 
lips :3 that UwU I uWu have >w< kiss'd UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how oft. Whewe be x3 youw x3 gibes 
^.^ nyow? x3 youw ^-^ gambows? x3 youw UwU songs? x3 youw flashes of ^.^ mewwiment :3 that 
:3 wewe UwU wont to uWu set x3 the tabwe on :3 a >_< woaw? ÚwÚ Nyot one now, to ÚwÚ mock x3 youw 
UwU own ÚwÚ gwinnying? >_< Quite >w< chap- xDD faww'n? Now get xDD you to x3 my >_> wady's 
chamber, ÚwÚ and tell hew, wet her OwO paint >w< an ÚwÚ inch thick, to ÚwÚ this 
^.^ favouw ^.^ she ^w^ must x3 come. ^-^ Make her laugh uWu at x3 that. Prithee, uWu Howatio, 
tell ;;w;; me one >_> thing. 
>_< How. x3 What's :3 that, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD Ham. uWu Dost xDD thou think x3 Awexandew >_> wook'd ^.^ o' ÚwÚ this fashion :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ eawth? 
>_< How. E'en :3 so. 
xDD Ham. xDD And >_< smewt so? OwO Pah! 
;;w;; [Puts down x3 the skuww.] 
>_< How. E'en >_> so, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. ;;w;; To >_> what UwU base x3 uses ^.^ we OwO may wetuwn, Horatio! Why OwO may nyot 
xDD imaginyation trace x3 the x3 nyobwe x3 dust of x3 Awexandew >w< tiww ^.^ he find >w< it 
xDD stopping :3 a ÚwÚ bunghowe? 
>_< How. uWu 'Twewe to OwO considew ^w^ too curiously, to OwO considew :3 so. 
xDD Ham. :3 Nyo, ^w^ faith, nyot :3 a xDD jot; >_> but to ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him uWu thithew with ÚwÚ modesty 
UwU enyough, ÚwÚ and likelihood to lead uWu it; >_< as thus: x3 Awexandew died, 
x3 Awexandew UwU was >_> buwied, x3 Awexandew ^-^ wetuwnyeth x3 into dust; x3 the x3 dust >_> is 
^w^ eawth; of ^.^ eawth ^.^ we >_< make OwO woam; ÚwÚ and >w< why of :3 that >_< woam ;;w;; (wheweto ^.^ he 
UwU was >_< convewted) ^w^ might ;;w;; they nyot ÚwÚ stop :3 a xDD beew >w< bawwew? 
Impewious ÚwÚ Caesaw, >_< dead ÚwÚ and >_> tuwn'd to ^-^ cway, 
^.^ Might ÚwÚ stop :3 a x3 howe to >_< keep x3 the wind xDD away. 
>_< O, :3 that :3 that ^.^ eawth which :33 kept x3 the wowwd uWu in OwO awe 
Should patch :3 a waww t' expew x3 the winter's >_< fwaw! 
OwO But xDD soft! >_> but xDD soft! aside! :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the xDD King- 

Entew [pwiests x3 with] :3 a UwU coffin :33 [in ;;w;; funyewaw procession], OwO King, 
:3 Queen, Waewtes, with Lords :3 attendant.] 

uWu The :3 Queen, x3 the ÚwÚ couwtiews. Who >_> is ÚwÚ this ;;w;; they follow? 
xDD And with xDD such ^.^ maimed rites? This xDD doth betoken 
uWu The cowse ;;w;; they ;;w;; fowwow uWu did with desp'wate uWu hand 
Fordo >w< it UwU own life. >_< 'Twas of x3 some estate. 
>_< Couch ^.^ we awhiwe, ÚwÚ and >w< mawk. 
ÚwÚ [Wetiwes with Horatio.] 
Waew. >_> What ceremony else? 
xDD Ham. :33 That >_> is Waewtes, 
^-^ A xDD vewy x3 nyobwe >_< youth. ;;w;; Mawk. 
Waew. >_> What ceremony else? 
Pwiest. :3 Hew :3 obsequies uWu have :33 been >_< as uWu faw >_< enwawg'd 
;;w;; As ^.^ we uWu have OwO wawwanty. :3 Hew :33 death UwU was xDD doubtfuw; 
^.^ And, >_> but :3 that great ÚwÚ command UwU o'ewsways x3 the order, 
:33 She >_> shouwd uWu in x3 gwound xDD unsanctified uWu have ^w^ wodg'd 
Tiww x3 the >w< wast twumpet. For x3 chawitabwe pwayews, 
Shards, ÚwÚ fwints, ÚwÚ and xDD pebbwes >_> shouwd be :33 thwown on her. 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO hewe ^.^ she >_> is UwU awwow'd her ;;w;; viwgin >w< cwants, 
:3 Hew >_< maiden >w< stwewments, ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 bwinging ^.^ home 
Of beww ÚwÚ and OwO buwiaw. 
Waew. :3 Must there nyo ^.^ mowe be done? 
Pwiest. No ^.^ mowe be ^-^ donye. 
We >_> shouwd uWu pwofanye x3 the OwO sewvice of x3 the >_< dead 
;;w;; To ^.^ sing :3 a requiem ÚwÚ and xDD such xDD west to her 
;;w;; As to :33 peace-pawted souws. 
Waew. Way her :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ eawth; 
xDD And from her >w< faiw ÚwÚ and OwO unpowwuted >w< fwesh 
^-^ May violets >w< spwing! UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, churlish ;;w;; pwiest, 
^-^ A x3 minyist'wing ÚwÚ angew UwU shaww x3 my :3 sistew be 
x3 When xDD thou wiest ^.^ howwing. 
xDD Ham. What, x3 the >w< faiw :3 Ophewia? 
ÚwÚ Queen. ^-^ Sweets to x3 the :33 sweet! uWu Faweweww. 
[Scattews >w< fwowews.] 
UwU I ^w^ hop'd xDD thou shouwdst uWu have :33 been x3 my Hamlet's :33 wife; 
UwU I xDD thought >w< thy bwide-bed to uWu have ^-^ deck'd, x3 sweet ;;w;; maid, 
xDD And nyot uWu have UwU stwew'd >w< thy x3 gwave. 
Waew. >_< O, >w< twebwe woe 
Fall ;;w;; ten times >w< twebwe on :3 that uWu cuwsed >_> head 
>_< Whose wicked ^.^ deed >w< thy UwU most >w< ingenyious sense 
x3 Depwiv'd uWu thee :33 of! :33 Howd x3 off x3 the ^.^ eawth awhiwe, 
Tiww UwU I uWu have caught her >_> once ^.^ mowe uWu in >_< minye arms. 
;;w;; Weaps uWu in x3 the x3 gwave. 
Now ^.^ piwe x3 youw x3 dust ;;w;; upon x3 the ^w^ quick ÚwÚ and >_< dead 
Tiww of ÚwÚ this flat :3 a OwO mountain xDD you uWu have UwU made 
;;w;; T' o'ewtop ;;w;; owd ;;w;; Pewion ow x3 the :3 skyish >_> head 
Of blue Olympus. 
xDD Ham. ;;w;; [comes forward] >_> What >_> is ^.^ he x3 whose grief 
:33 Beaws xDD such >w< an emphasis? x3 whose phrase of sorrow 
OwO Conjuwes x3 the >w< wand'wing ÚwÚ staws, ÚwÚ and x3 makes them stand 
Wike wonder-wounded OwO heawews? This >_> is I, 
;;w;; Hamwet x3 the x3 Danye. ÚwÚ [Weaps uWu in ÚwÚ aftew x3 Waewtes. 
Waew. uWu The ^.^ deviw OwO take >w< thy souw! 
[Grapples with ;;w;; him]. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ Thou ^.^ pway'st nyot well. 
UwU I :33 pwithee OwO take >w< thy x3 fingews from x3 my throat; 
For, ^w^ though UwU I ^w^ am nyot spwenyitive ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wash, 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu have UwU I uWu in ;;w;; me ^-^ something UwU dangewous, 
>_< Which wet >w< thy ^.^ wisdom ;;w;; feaw. :33 Howd x3 off >w< thy xDD hand! 
;;w;; King. Pluck ^w^ thein ^w^ asundew. 
ÚwÚ Queen. Hamlet, ^-^ Hamwet! 
All. ^.^ Gentwemen! 
>_< How. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, be ÚwÚ quiet. 
;;w;; [The ^-^ Attendants ÚwÚ pawt ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they come x3 out of x3 the 
^w^ gwave.] 
xDD Ham. Why, UwU I xDD wiww >w< fight with ^.^ him ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this :33 theme 
Untiw x3 my >_> eyewids xDD wiww nyo longer xDD wag. 
ÚwÚ Queen. x3 O x3 my x3 son, >_> what theme? 
xDD Ham. UwU I :3 wov'd UwU Ophewia. UwU Fowty thousand bwothews 
Could nyot uWu (with aww uWu theiw ;;w;; quantity of :3 wuv) 
^-^ Make x3 up x3 my UwU sum. >_> What wiwt xDD thou UwU do fow OwO hew? 
;;w;; King. >_< O, ^.^ he >_> is mad, x3 Waewtes. 
ÚwÚ Queen. For wuv of :33 God, ÚwÚ fowbeaw x3 him! 
xDD Ham. uWu 'Swounds, x3 show ;;w;; me >_> what x3 thou't xDD do. 
:3 Woo't ^w^ weep? :33 woo't :33 fight? :33 woo't fast? :33 woo't teaw thyself? 
:3 Woo't ÚwÚ dwink x3 up ;;w;; esiww? eat :3 a crocodile? 
I'll >_< do't. uWu Dost xDD thou come OwO hewe to whinye? 
;;w;; To outface ;;w;; me with >_> weaping uWu in her gwave? 
^w^ Be buried ^w^ quick with hew, ÚwÚ and UwU so xDD wiww ^.^ I. 
xDD And >_> if xDD thou prate of >_< mountains, wet them ^-^ thwow 
xDD Miwwions of acres on us, >w< tiww UwU ouw ground, 
>w< Singeing :33 his OwO pate OwO against x3 the ^.^ buwnying zonye, 
^-^ Make >_< Ossa ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; wawt! Nyay, >w< an thou'lt uWu mouth, 
I'll rant >_< as weww >_< as thou. 
ÚwÚ Queen. This >_> is mere xDD madnyess; 
xDD And OwO thus :3 a OwO whiwe x3 the ;;w;; fit xDD wiww ^.^ wowk on ^.^ him. 
;;w;; Anyon, >_< as patient >_< as x3 the >_< femawe ^-^ duv 
x3 When :3 that her golden xDD coupwets OwO awe disclos'd, 
ÚwÚ His :3 siwence xDD wiww sit ÚwÚ dwooping. 
xDD Ham. >w< Heaw UwU you, sir! 
>_> What >_> is x3 the reason :3 that xDD you use ;;w;; me >_< thus? 
UwU I :3 wov'd xDD you ever. OwO But >w< it >_> is nyo :3 mattew. 
Let Hercules >_< himsewf UwU do >_> what ^.^ he may, 
uWu The :33 cat xDD wiww mew, ÚwÚ and dog xDD wiww uWu have :33 his x3 day. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
;;w;; King. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good uWu Howatio, wait ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
uWu Exit ÚwÚ Howatio. 
:33 [To ÚwÚ Waewtes] ^w^ Stwengthen x3 youw uWu patience uWu in UwU ouw >w< wast night's :33 speech. 
^-^ We'ww put x3 the ;;w;; mattew to x3 the xDD pwesent UwU push.- 
^-^ Good >_> Gewtwude, uWu set x3 some ;;w;; watch uvw x3 youw ^w^ son.- 
This :3 gwave UwU shaww uWu have :3 a UwU wiving uWu monyument. 
^-^ An >_> houw of :33 quiet x3 showtwy UwU shaww ^.^ we see; 
Tiww xDD then uWu in uWu patience UwU ouw proceeding >w< be. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
OwO Ewsinyowe. ^-^ A ^-^ haww uWu in x3 the UwU Castwe. 

Entew ;;w;; Hamwet ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Howatio. 

xDD Ham. ^w^ So much fow uWu this, siw; nyow UwU shaww xDD you >_> see x3 the :3 othew. 
>_> You UwU do remember aww x3 the ^.^ ciwcumstance? 
>_< How. ÚwÚ Wemembew :33 it, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
xDD Ham. UwU Siw, uWu in x3 my >_< heawt there UwU was :3 a uWu kind of fighting 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd nyot wet ;;w;; me OwO sweep. :33 Methought UwU I uWu way 
Wowse than x3 the mutinies uWu in x3 the bilboes. Washwy- 
xDD And UwU pwais'd be ÚwÚ washnyess fow uWu it; wet >_> us knyow, 
Our indiscwetion ÚwÚ sometime sewves >_> us weww 
x3 When UwU ouw >_> deep plots UwU do pall; ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> shouwd :3 weawn >_> us 
>_> Thewe's :3 a >w< divinyity :3 that >w< shapes UwU ouw >w< ends, 
xDD Wough-hew them >w< how ^.^ we ;;w;; wiww- 
>_< How. :33 That >_> is UwU most cewtain. 
xDD Ham. Up from x3 my ^.^ cabin, 
OwO My :33 sea-gown ^.^ scawf'd about uWu me, uWu in x3 the dark 
^-^ Gwop'd UwU I to find x3 out OwO them; xDD had x3 my >_> desiwe, 
Finger'd uWu theiw packet, ÚwÚ and uWu in OwO finye withdrew 
;;w;; To >_< minye UwU own >_> woom again; x3 making UwU so bold 
(My OwO feaws fowgetting mannyews) to >w< unseaw 
^-^ Theiw grand UwU commission; :3 whewe UwU I >_> found, ÚwÚ Howatio 
UwU (O royal >w< knyavewy!), >w< an exact >_> command, 
Wawded with UwU many sevewaw sorts of ^w^ weasons, 
Importing ;;w;; Denmawk's :33 heawth, ÚwÚ and Engwand's :3 too, 
>w< With, >w< hoo! xDD such uWu bugs ÚwÚ and gobwins uWu in x3 my life- 
^.^ That, on x3 the supervise, nyo leisure ^w^ bated, 
:3 Nyo, nyot to xDD stay x3 the finding of x3 the axe, 
OwO My >_> head >_> shouwd be >w< stwuck off. 
>_< How. ^-^ Is't possible? 
xDD Ham. >_> Hewe's x3 the UwU commission; ^w^ wead >w< it uWu at ^.^ mowe xDD weisuwe. 
OwO But wiwt xDD thou UwU beaw ;;w;; me >w< how UwU I uWu did :33 pwoceed? 
>_< How. UwU I :33 beseech OwO you. 
xDD Ham. uWu Being OwO thus :33 benyetted ;;w;; wound with xDD viwwanyies, 
:33 Ow UwU I couwd >_< make :3 a uWu pwowogue to x3 my uWu bwains, 
^-^ They xDD had ÚwÚ begun x3 the play. UwU I sat ;;w;; me down; 
^-^ Devis'd :3 a x3 nyew UwU commission; wwote >w< it >_< faiw. 
UwU I >_> once uWu did howd :33 it, >_< as UwU ouw :3 statists UwU do, 
^-^ A baseness to >w< wwite faiw, ÚwÚ and labour'd much 
How to x3 fowget :3 that >_< weawnying; but, ^w^ siw, nyow 
^.^ It uWu did ;;w;; me x3 yeoman's service. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou ^.^ knyow 
xDD Th' ^w^ effect of >_> what UwU I wwote? 
>_< How. Ay, ÚwÚ good x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ An xDD eawnyest conjuwation from x3 the OwO King, 
;;w;; As England UwU was :33 his faithfuw twibutawy, 
;;w;; As wuv ^-^ between them ^.^ wike x3 the ^.^ pawm ^w^ might flourish, 
;;w;; As uWu peace >_> shouwd still her :33 wheaten gawwand ^-^ weaw 
xDD And stand :3 a comma >_> 'tween uWu theiw ÚwÚ amities, 
xDD And UwU many >_< such-wike :3 as's of great charge, 
^.^ That, on x3 the x3 view ÚwÚ and x3 knyowing of these contents, 
Without x3 debatement further, ^.^ mowe ow UwU wess, 
>w< He >_> shouwd x3 the xDD beawews put to ^.^ sudden UwU death, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< shwiving time :3 awwow'd. 
>_< How. How UwU was ÚwÚ this seal'd? 
xDD Ham. Why, even uWu in :3 that UwU was heaven :3 owdinyant. 
UwU I xDD had x3 my father's ^-^ signyet uWu in x3 my puwse, 
which UwU was x3 the :33 modew of :3 that OwO Danyish seal; 
Folded x3 the ^-^ wwit x3 up uWu in x3 the >_< fowm of x3 th' ÚwÚ othew, 
>w< Subscwib'd :33 it, OwO gave't x3 th' impression, pwac'd >w< it *sweats* safewy, 
uWu The ^w^ changewing >_< nyevew knyown. >_> Nyow, x3 the :3 nyext day 
Was UwU ouw >_< sea-fight; ÚwÚ and >_> what to ÚwÚ this UwU was sequent 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st >_< awweady. 
>_< How. ^w^ So ^-^ Guiwdenstewn ÚwÚ and Rosencrantz OwO go to't. 
xDD Ham. Why, ^w^ man, ;;w;; they uWu did >_< make wuv to ÚwÚ this ^.^ empwoyment! 
^-^ They OwO awe nyot nyeaw x3 my ^w^ conscience; uWu theiw :3 defeat 
ÚwÚ Does ^.^ by uWu theiw UwU own insinyuation ^w^ gwow. 
'Tis uWu dangewous when x3 the baser ÚwÚ nyatuwe x3 comes 
Between x3 the pass ÚwÚ and UwU feww uWu incensed x3 points 
Of ^-^ mighty opposites. 
>_< How. Why, >_> what :3 a x3 king >_> is x3 this! 
xDD Ham. ÚwÚ Does >w< it >_> nyot, >_> thinks't ÚwÚ thee, stand ;;w;; me nyow uWu upon- 
>w< He :3 that hath kill'd x3 my OwO king, ÚwÚ and ^-^ whow'd x3 my mothew; 
ÚwÚ Popp'd uWu in ^-^ between x3 th' UwU ewection ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu hopes; 
Thrown x3 out :33 his :3 angwe fow x3 my Proper :3 wife, 
xDD And with xDD such ^.^ coz'nyage- :3 is't nyot :3 pewfect >_> conscience 
;;w;; To ^.^ quit ^.^ him with ÚwÚ this awm? xDD And :3 is't nyot to be damn'd 
;;w;; To wet ÚwÚ this ;;w;; cankew of UwU ouw ÚwÚ nyatuwe come 
^w^ In further evil? 
>_< How. ^.^ It ^w^ must be x3 showtwy ÚwÚ knyown to ^.^ him from England 
>_> What >_> is x3 the x3 issue of x3 the business :33 thewe. 
xDD Ham. ^.^ It xDD wiww be :33 showt; x3 the intewim >_> is >_> minye, 
xDD And :3 a :33 man's >w< wife >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe than to >_> say ^-^ 'onye.' 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy sowwy, ÚwÚ good uWu Howatio, 
:33 That to Waewtes UwU I fowgot myself, 
For ^.^ by x3 the x3 image of x3 my cause UwU I >_> see 
uWu The portraiture of ÚwÚ his. I'll court :33 his favours. 
OwO But >_< suwe x3 the ÚwÚ bwavewy of :33 his grief uWu did put ;;w;; me 
^.^ Into :3 a :33 tow'wing ^w^ passion. 
>_< How. ;;w;; Peace! Who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew xDD young Oswic, :3 a courtier. 

Osr. uWu Youw OwO wowdship >_> is >w< wight wewcome back to Denmark. 
xDD Ham. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank UwU you, sir. ^-^ [Aside to UwU Howatio] uWu Dost ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this 
watewfwy? 
>_< How. ÚwÚ [aside to Hamwet] :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. ÚwÚ [aside to UwU Howatio] x3 Thy >w< state >_> is x3 the ^.^ mowe xDD gwacious; fow UwU 'tis :3 a 
:33 vice to ^.^ knyow ^.^ him. >w< He hath much land, ÚwÚ and ^.^ fewtiwe. Let :3 a beast be 
;;w;; wowd of xDD beasts, ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< cwib UwU shaww stand uWu at x3 the >_< king's >_> mess. 'Tis 
:3 a :33 chough; but, >_< as UwU I say, ÚwÚ spacious uWu in x3 the >w< possession of >_> diwt. 
Osr. ÚwÚ Sweet uWu wowd, >_> if x3 youw OwO wowdship :3 wewe uWu at >_> weisuwe, UwU I >_> shouwd OwO impawt 
:3 a ^.^ thing to xDD you from :33 his >_< Majesty. 
xDD Ham. UwU I xDD wiww receive :33 it, ^w^ siw, with aww diligence of >w< spiwit. >_> Put x3 youw 
:3 bonnyet to :33 his >w< wight ÚwÚ use. 'Tis fow x3 the >_> head. 
Osr. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw lordship, >w< it >_> is xDD vewy xDD hot. 
xDD Ham. :3 Nyo, ^-^ bewieve uWu me, UwU 'tis xDD vewy xDD cowd; x3 the wind >_> is ^w^ nyowthewwy. 
Osr. ^.^ It >_> is uWu indiffewent >_< cowd, x3 my uWu wowd, indeed. 
xDD Ham. OwO But yet uWu methinks >w< it >_> is xDD vewy :33 suwtwy ÚwÚ and :3 hot fow x3 my compwexion. 
Osr. Exceedingly, x3 my wowd; >w< it >_> is xDD vewy uWu suwtwy, >_< as :33 'twewe- UwU I ;;w;; cannyot 
tell ^.^ how. But, x3 my uWu wowd, :33 his ;;w;; Majesty ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me :33 signyify to xDD you :3 that 
^.^ he >_> has laid :3 a great wagew on x3 youw >_> head. UwU Siw, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the matter- 
xDD Ham. UwU I :33 beseech xDD you ^.^ wemembew. 
^-^ [Hamwet moves ^.^ him to put on :33 his >w< hat.] 
Osr. Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowd; fow >_< minye uWu ease, uWu in ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ faith. UwU Siw, OwO hewe >_> is 
x3 nyewwy come to court :33 Waewtes; ^-^ bewieve uWu me, >w< an ^w^ absowute gentweman, 
full of UwU most :3 excewwent differences, of xDD vewy soft >w< society ÚwÚ and 
great showing. >w< Indeed, to speak feelingly of :3 him, ^.^ he >_> is x3 the >w< cawd 
ow calendar of gentwy; fow xDD you UwU shaww find uWu in ^.^ him x3 the continyent of 
>_> what ÚwÚ pawt :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman ^.^ wouwd ^-^ see. 
xDD Ham. UwU Siw, :33 his >_> definyement suffers nyo ;;w;; pewdition uWu in uWu you; x3 though, UwU I 
knyow, to OwO divide ^.^ him inventowiawwy ^.^ wouwd ^-^ dozy x3 th' awithmetic of 
xDD memowy, ÚwÚ and yet >_> but ^.^ yaw :3 nyeithew uWu in wespect of :33 his ^w^ quick ^w^ saiw. 
But, uWu in x3 the ^w^ vewity of extowment, UwU I OwO take ^.^ him to be :3 a :3 souw of great 
x3 awticwe, ÚwÚ and :33 his infusion of xDD such dearth ÚwÚ and x3 wawenyess as, to >_< make 
true UwU diction of :3 him, :33 his semblable >_> is :33 his mirror, ÚwÚ and who >_> ewse 
^.^ wouwd trace :3 him, :33 his umbwage, >_< nyothing more. 
Osr. uWu Youw OwO wowdship xDD speaks UwU most infawwibwy of ^.^ him. 
xDD Ham. uWu The >_> concewnyancy, UwU siw? Why UwU do ^.^ we ^-^ wwap x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman uWu in UwU ouw ^.^ mowe 
;;w;; wawew UwU bweath 
Osr. Sir? 
Hor ÚwÚ [aside to Hamwet] ^-^ Is't nyot OwO possibwe to understand uWu in anyothew 
^.^ tongue? >_> You xDD wiww ;;w;; do't, ^w^ siw, weawwy. 
xDD Ham. >_> What imports x3 the :33 nyominyation of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman 
Osr. Of Laertes? 
>_< How. >w< [aside] ÚwÚ His >_< puwse >_> is :33 empty >_< awweady. ^-^ Aww's golden wowds OwO awe 
:33 spent. 
xDD Ham. Of :3 him, sir. 
Osr. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO awe nyot >_> ignyowant- 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^-^ did, siw; ^w^ yet, uWu in ^w^ faith, >_> if xDD you ^-^ did, >w< it ^.^ wouwd nyot 
much approve x3 me. xDD Weww, UwU siw? 
Osr. >_> You OwO awe nyot ÚwÚ ignyowant of >_> what excewwence Waewtes is- 
xDD Ham. UwU I dawe nyot x3 confess :3 that, xDD west UwU I >_> shouwd compare with ^.^ him uWu in 
>_> excewwence; >_> but to ^.^ knyow :3 a x3 man weww :3 wewe to ^.^ knyow himself. 
Osr. UwU I mean, ^w^ siw, fow :33 his weapon; >_> but uWu in x3 the ;;w;; imputation laid on ^.^ him 
^.^ by ÚwÚ them, uWu in :33 his >_> meed uWu he's ;;w;; unfewwowed. 
xDD Ham. x3 What's :33 his OwO weapon? 
Osr. Wapiew ÚwÚ and >w< daggew. 
xDD Ham. >w< That's >w< two of :33 his >_> weapons- >_> but well. 
Osr. uWu The OwO King, ^w^ siw, hath wager'd with ^.^ him six Bawbawy horses; 
OwO against x3 the which ^.^ he >_> has >_> impon'd, >_< as UwU I OwO take :33 it, six OwO Fwench 
wapiews ÚwÚ and ponyiawds, with uWu theiw UwU assigns, >_< as uWu giwdwe, hangews, ÚwÚ and 
:3 so. Thwee of x3 the carriages, uWu in ^w^ faith, OwO awe xDD vewy uWu deaw to >_> fancy, 
xDD vewy >_> wesponsive to x3 the hilts, UwU most xDD dewicate carriages, ÚwÚ and of 
xDD vewy xDD wibewaw xDD conceit. 
xDD Ham. >_> What caww xDD you x3 the xDD cawwiages? 
>_< How. ÚwÚ [aside to Hamwet] UwU I UwU knyew xDD you ^w^ must be edified ^.^ by x3 the uWu mawgent 
ere xDD you xDD had ^-^ donye. 
Osr. uWu The carriages, ^w^ siw, OwO awe x3 the hangews. 
xDD Ham. uWu The phrase ^.^ wouwd be ^.^ mowe gewmanye to x3 the ;;w;; mattew >_> if ^.^ we couwd 
carry cannon ^.^ by UwU ouw :3 sides. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it ^w^ might be >_> hangews >w< tiww UwU then. 
OwO But on! uWu Six Bawbawy :3 howses OwO against six OwO Fwench swowds, uWu theiw 
UwU assigns, ÚwÚ and >w< thwee UwU wibewaw-conceited ÚwÚ cawwiages: ^w^ that's x3 the OwO Fwench 
bet OwO against x3 the ÚwÚ Danyish. Why >_> is ÚwÚ this aww >_> impon'd, >_< as xDD you caww :33 it? 
Osr. uWu The OwO King, ^w^ siw, hath laid :3 that, uWu in :3 a ^.^ dozen ^-^ passes ^-^ between 
>_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and :3 him, ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot xDD exceed xDD you >w< thwee OwO hits; ^.^ he hath 
laid on >_< twewve fow nine, ÚwÚ and >w< it ^.^ wouwd come to x3 immediate uWu twiaw 
>_> if x3 youw OwO wowdship ^.^ wouwd x3 vouchsafe x3 the answer. 
xDD Ham. How >_> if UwU I answew no? 
Osr. UwU I mean, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 the :33 opposition of x3 youw ÚwÚ pewson uWu in trial. 
xDD Ham. UwU Siw, UwU I xDD wiww UwU wawk OwO hewe uWu in x3 the :33 haww. ;;w;; If >w< it uWu pwease :33 his ÚwÚ Majesty, 
>w< it >_> is x3 the :33 bweathing time of day with x3 me. Let x3 the foils be 
brought, x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman >_> wiwwing, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ King howd :33 his xDD puwpose, 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 win fow ^.^ him >_> if UwU I can; >_> if >_> nyot, UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ gain >_< nyothing >_> but x3 my 
^-^ shame ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< odd uWu hits. 
Osr. Shall UwU I :33 wedewivew xDD you ^w^ e'en so? 
xDD Ham. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ this xDD effect, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ aftew >_> what :33 fwouwish x3 youw ÚwÚ nyatuwe :33 wiww. 
Osr. UwU I ÚwÚ commend x3 my >_> duty to x3 youw wowdship. 
xDD Ham. OwO Youws, x3 youws. ;;w;; [Exit Osric.] >w< He does weww to ÚwÚ commend >w< it 
:33 himsewf; there OwO awe nyo tongues >_> ewse for's x3 tuwn. 
>_< How. This ^w^ wapwing wuns OwO away with x3 the xDD sheww on :33 his >_> head. 
xDD Ham. >w< He uWu did :33 compwy with :33 his uWu dug >w< befowe ^.^ he ^-^ suck'd :3 it. ^-^ Thus >_> has xDD he, 
ÚwÚ and UwU many ^.^ mowe of x3 the same bevy :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the dwossy age x3 dotes 
;;w;; on, >w< onwy ^w^ got x3 the tune of x3 the time ÚwÚ and :33 outwawd OwO habit of uWu encountew- 
:3 a uWu kind of ÚwÚ yesty uWu cowwection, which xDD cawwies them ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ and 
^w^ thwough x3 the UwU most ^.^ fann'd ÚwÚ and winnowed opinions; ÚwÚ and UwU do >_> but ^w^ bwow 
them to uWu theiw OwO twiaw-the bubbwes OwO awe ^.^ out, 

Entew :3 a Lord. 

Lord. OwO My uWu wowd, :33 his ;;w;; Majesty :33 commended ^.^ him to xDD you ^.^ by xDD young Oswic, who 
>_< bwings back to :3 him, :3 that xDD you >_< attend ^.^ him uWu in x3 the :33 haww. >w< He OwO sends to 
^.^ knyow >_> if x3 youw :3 pweasuwe howd to :33 pway with Waewtes, ow :3 that xDD you xDD wiww 
OwO take longer uWu time. 
xDD Ham. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ constant to x3 my ;;w;; puwposes; ;;w;; they ;;w;; fowwow x3 the >_< King's pleasure. 
;;w;; If :33 his ^.^ fitnyess speaks, >_< minye >_> is weady; nyow ow UwU whensoevew, x3 pwovided 
UwU I be UwU so able >_< as now. 
Lord. uWu The ^w^ King ÚwÚ and xDD Queen ÚwÚ and aww OwO awe xDD coming down. 
xDD Ham. ^w^ In ^w^ happy uWu time. 
Lord. uWu The xDD Queen desiwes xDD you to use x3 some ^-^ gentwe entewtainment to 
Waewtes >w< befowe xDD you faww to play. 
xDD Ham. :33 She weww >_< instwucts x3 me. 
;;w;; [Exit ^-^ Wowd.] 
>_< How. >_> You xDD wiww wose ÚwÚ this ^.^ wagew, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Ham. UwU I UwU do nyot think :3 so. Since ^.^ he OwO went x3 into Fwance UwU I uWu have :33 been uWu in 
continyuaw ^.^ pwactice. UwU I UwU shaww x3 win uWu at x3 the odds. OwO But xDD thou wouldst nyot 
think >w< how :33 iww aww's OwO hewe about x3 my ;;w;; heawt. OwO But >w< it >_> is nyo :3 mattew. 
>_< How. Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 my ;;w;; wowd - 
xDD Ham. ^.^ It >_> is >_> but >_> foowewy; >_> but >w< it >_> is xDD such :3 a uWu kind of gaingiving >_< as 
^.^ wouwd ^-^ pewhaps >_> twoubwe :3 a uWu woman. 
>_< How. ;;w;; If x3 youw ^-^ mind :33 diswike anything, UwU obey :3 it. UwU I xDD wiww uWu fowestaww uWu theiw 
repair ÚwÚ hithew ÚwÚ and >_> say xDD you OwO awe nyot ^w^ fit. 
xDD Ham. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a >_< whit, ^.^ we ^.^ defy augury; there's :3 a >_> speciaw >w< pwovidence uWu in 
x3 the faww of :3 a OwO spawwow. ;;w;; If >w< it be now, UwU 'tis nyot to uWu come', >_> if >w< it be 
nyot to come, >w< it xDD wiww be >_< nyow; >_> if >w< it be nyot now, yet >w< it xDD wiww x3 come: 
x3 the readiness >_> is all. Since nyo x3 man xDD knyows ^.^ aught of >_> what ^.^ he OwO weaves, 
>_> what :3 is't to OwO weave :33 betimes? Let >w< be. 

Entew OwO King, :3 Queen, Waewtes, Oswic, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Wowds, with othew 
^-^ Attendants with foils ÚwÚ and UwU gauntwets. 
^-^ A tabwe ÚwÚ and flagons of winye on :3 it. 

;;w;; King. ^.^ Come, Hamlet, come, ÚwÚ and OwO take ÚwÚ this uWu hand from x3 me. 
;;w;; [The ^w^ King puts >_< Waewtes' uWu hand x3 into :3 Hamwet's.] 
xDD Ham. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw pardon, sir. UwU I uWu have donye xDD you >_> wwong; 
OwO But UwU pawdon't, >_< as xDD you OwO awe :3 a :3 gentweman. 
This x3 pwesence ;;w;; knyows, 
xDD And xDD you ^w^ must >_< nyeeds uWu have ^-^ heawd, >w< how UwU I ^w^ am punyish'd 
With ^w^ sowe :3 distwaction. >_> What UwU I uWu have donye 
:33 That ^w^ might x3 youw nyatuwe, honyouw, ÚwÚ and exception 
ÚwÚ Woughwy >w< awake, UwU I OwO hewe :3 pwocwaim UwU was >w< madnyess. 
^-^ Was't ;;w;; Hamwet wrong'd Laertes? xDD Nyevew x3 Hamwet. 
;;w;; If ;;w;; Hamwet from >_< himsewf be :33 taken away, 
xDD And when uWu he's nyot >_< himsewf does wrong Waewtes, 
UwU Then ;;w;; Hamwet does >w< it >_> nyot, ;;w;; Hamwet denyies :3 it. 
Who does :33 it, ^w^ then? ÚwÚ His >w< madnyess. >_> If't be >_> so, 
;;w;; Hamwet >_> is of x3 the ^w^ faction :3 that >_> is >_< wwong'd; 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ madnyess >_> is poor Hamlet's enemy. 
UwU Siw, uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu audience, 
Let x3 my disclaiming from :3 a ÚwÚ puwpos'd eviw 
Fwee ;;w;; me UwU so uWu faw uWu in x3 youw UwU most OwO genyewous >_< thoughts 
:33 That UwU I uWu have UwU shot x3 my arrow ^-^ o'ew x3 the ;;w;; house 
xDD And ÚwÚ huwt x3 my ^-^ bwothew. 
Waew. UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ satisfied uWu in nyatuwe, 
>_< Whose motive uWu in ÚwÚ this case >_> shouwd stir ;;w;; me UwU most 
;;w;; To x3 my revenge. OwO But uWu in x3 my terms of honour 
UwU I stand awoof, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyo weconciwement 
Tiww ^.^ by x3 some :33 ewdew >w< mastews of ÚwÚ knyown honour 
UwU I uWu have :3 a uWu voice ÚwÚ and xDD pwecedent of uWu peace 
;;w;; To >_< keep x3 my xDD nyame ungor'd. OwO But >w< tiww :3 that time 
UwU I UwU do receive x3 youw >_< offew'd wuv ^.^ wike xDD wuv, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot wrong :3 it. 
xDD Ham. UwU I >_< embwace >w< it freely, 
xDD And xDD wiww ÚwÚ this brother's wagew fwankwy play. 
Give >_> us x3 the xDD foiws. :3 Come :3 on. 
Waew. ^.^ Come, one fow x3 me. 
xDD Ham. I'll be x3 youw ÚwÚ foiw, x3 Waewtes. ^w^ In >_< minye ÚwÚ ignyowance 
uWu Youw :3 skiww UwU shaww, ^.^ wike :3 a :33 staw :33 i' x3 th' ^-^ dawkest night, 
^-^ Stick fiery x3 off indeed. 
Waew. >_> You ÚwÚ mock uWu me, sir. 
xDD Ham. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this bad. 
;;w;; King. Give them x3 the foils, xDD young Oswic. x3 Cousin Hamlet, 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the wagew? 
xDD Ham. Very weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
uWu Youw Gwace >_> has laid x3 the ^w^ odds ^.^ o' x3 th' weaker ^w^ side. 
;;w;; King. UwU I UwU do nyot feaw :33 it, UwU I uWu have :3 seen xDD you both; 
OwO But xDD since ^.^ he >_> is UwU bettew'd, ^.^ we uWu have >_< thewefowe odds. 
Waew. This >_> is ^w^ too ;;w;; heavy; wet ;;w;; me >_> see anyothew. 
xDD Ham. This likes ;;w;; me well. ;;w;; These foils uWu have aww :3 a ÚwÚ wength? 
Pwepawe to play. 
Osr. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
;;w;; King. Set ;;w;; me x3 the UwU stoups of winye ;;w;; upon :3 that ;;w;; tabwe. 
;;w;; If ;;w;; Hamwet UwU give x3 the xDD fiwst ow second ;;w;; hit, 
:33 Ow ^.^ quit uWu in answew of x3 the thiwd ^w^ exchange, 
Let aww x3 the :3 battwements uWu theiw owdnyance x3 fiwe; 
uWu The ^w^ King UwU shaww ÚwÚ dwink to Hamlet's xDD bettew :33 bweath, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the >w< cup >w< an >w< unyion UwU shaww ^.^ he ^-^ thwow 
:3 Wichew than :3 that which fouw ;;w;; successive >w< kings 
^w^ In ;;w;; Denmawk's >_< cwown uWu have ÚwÚ wown. Give ;;w;; me x3 the >w< cups; 
xDD And wet x3 the uWu kettwe to x3 the ÚwÚ twumpet :3 speak, 
uWu The ÚwÚ twumpet to x3 the ÚwÚ cannyonyeew without, 
uWu The cannons to x3 the >w< heavens, x3 the heaven to earth, 
x3 'Nyow x3 the ^w^ King dwinks to OwO Hamwet.' ^.^ Come, ;;w;; begin. 
xDD And xDD you x3 the judges, UwU beaw :3 a uWu wawy :33 eye. 
xDD Ham. :3 Come ;;w;; on, sir. 
Waew. ^.^ Come, x3 my OwO wowd. ^-^ They play. 
xDD Ham. ^w^ Onye. 
Waew. No. 
xDD Ham. >_> Judgment! 
Osr. ^-^ A ;;w;; hit, :3 a xDD vewy >_< pawpabwe ;;w;; hit. 
Waew. xDD Weww, x3 again! 
;;w;; King. Stay, UwU give ;;w;; me ^-^ dwink. Hamlet, ÚwÚ this uWu peaww >_> is thine; 
>_> Hewe's to >w< thy ^-^ heawth. 
>_< [Dwum; trumpets >w< sound; :3 a ^.^ piece xDD goes x3 off x3 [within]. 
Give ^.^ him x3 the >_> cup. 
xDD Ham. I'll :33 pway ÚwÚ this uWu bout first; uWu set >w< it ^.^ by OwO awhiwe. 
>w< Come. >_< (They play.) ÚwÚ Anyothew ;;w;; hit. >_> What >_> say you? 
Waew. ^-^ A xDD touch, :3 a >w< touch; UwU I UwU do x3 confess't. 
;;w;; King. Our >_< son UwU shaww :33 win. 
ÚwÚ Queen. He's ÚwÚ fat, ÚwÚ and :3 scant of >_< bweath. 
Here, Hamlet, OwO take x3 my nyapkin, :3 wub >w< thy ÚwÚ bwows. 
uWu The xDD Queen carouses to >w< thy fowtunye, x3 Hamwet. 
xDD Ham. ^-^ Good madam! 
;;w;; King. >_> Gewtwude, UwU do nyot ^-^ dwink. 
ÚwÚ Queen. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my wowd; UwU I pray xDD you UwU pawdon x3 me. >_> Dwinks. 
;;w;; King. >w< [aside] ^.^ It >_> is x3 the OwO poison'd cup; >w< it >_> is ^w^ too UwU wate. 
xDD Ham. UwU I dawe nyot ÚwÚ dwink ^w^ yet, x3 madam; by-and-by. 
ÚwÚ Queen. ^.^ Come, wet ;;w;; me xDD wipe >w< thy ;;w;; face. 
Waew. OwO My uWu wowd, I'll ;;w;; hit ^.^ him now. 
;;w;; King. UwU I UwU do nyot think't. 
Waew. >w< [aside] xDD And yet >w< it >_> is almost OwO against x3 my ^w^ conscience. 
xDD Ham. :3 Come fow x3 the OwO thiwd, >_> Waewtes! >_> You >_> but dally. 
pray >_> You ÚwÚ Pass with x3 youw best viowence; 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< afeawd >_> You >_< make :3 a >_< wanton of x3 me. 
Waew. x3 Say xDD you so? :3 Come :3 on. Pway. 
Osr. Nyothing :3 nyeithew >_> way. 
Waew. :3 Have uWu at xDD you >_< nyow! 
[Waewtes wounds Hamlet; xDD then] uWu in scuffling, ;;w;; they 
change ;;w;; wapiews, [and ;;w;; Hamwet wounds xDD Waewtes]. 
;;w;; King. Pawt >w< them! ^-^ They OwO awe :3 incens'd. 
xDD Ham. Nyay >w< come! x3 again! uWu The xDD Queen ^w^ fawws. 
Osr. Wook to x3 the xDD Queen thewe, ho! 
>_< How. ^-^ They bweed on both :3 sides. How >_> is :33 it, x3 my xDD wowd? 
Osr. How >w< is't, Laertes? 
Waew. Why, >_< as :3 a :3 woodcock to >_< minye UwU own x3 spwinge, Oswic. 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< justwy kill'd with >_< minye UwU own ^w^ tweachewy. 
xDD Ham. How does x3 the Queen? 
;;w;; King. :33 She sounds to >_> see them UwU bweed. 
ÚwÚ Queen. :3 Nyo, no! x3 the dwink, x3 the drink! x3 O x3 my uWu deaw ^-^ Hamwet! 
uWu The dwink, x3 the drink! UwU I ^w^ am >_> poison'd. ^w^ [Dies.] 
xDD Ham. x3 O >_< viwwany! Ho! wet x3 the doow be wock'd. 
>w< Tweachewy! ;;w;; Seek >w< it OwO out. 
[Waewtes ^-^ fawws.] 
Waew. ^.^ It >_> is UwU hewe, x3 Hamwet. Hamlet, xDD thou awt slain; 
No medicinye uWu in x3 the wowwd ^.^ can UwU do uWu thee UwU good. 
^w^ In uWu thee there >_> is nyot half >w< an >_> houw of life. 
uWu The treacherous UwU instwument >_> is uWu in >w< thy uWu hand, 
^.^ Unbated ÚwÚ and envenom'd. uWu The fouw pwactice 
>_< Hath >_> tuwn'd itsewf on x3 me. Lo, OwO hewe UwU I wie, 
xDD Nyevew to rise ;;w;; again. x3 Thy ;;w;; mothew's >_> poison'd. 
UwU I ^.^ can nyo more. uWu The OwO King, x3 the >_< King's to blame. 
xDD Ham. uWu The :33 point envenyom'd xDD too? 
Then, ÚwÚ venyom, to >w< thy >w< wowk. OwO Huwts x3 the ;;w;; King. 
All. Treason! treason! 
;;w;; King. >_< O, yet ;;w;; defend uWu me, ÚwÚ fwiends! UwU I ^w^ am >_> but x3 huwt. 
xDD Ham. Here, xDD thou :3 incestuous, ^.^ muwd'wous, uWu damnyed OwO Danye, 
^w^ Dwink x3 off ÚwÚ this ^w^ potion! Is >w< thy >w< unyion hewe? 
Follow x3 my x3 mothew. ^w^ King OwO dies. 
Waew. >w< He >_> is >_< justwy serv'd. 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a x3 poison tempew'd ^.^ by himself. 
:3 Exchange forgiveness with uWu me, x3 nyobwe x3 Hamwet. 
Mine ÚwÚ and x3 my father's :33 death come nyot ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ thinye on me! >_< Dies. 
xDD Ham. uWu Heaven >_< make uWu thee fwee of :3 it! UwU I ;;w;; fowwow thee. 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< dead, ÚwÚ Howatio. ^.^ Wwetched queen, ^w^ adieu! 
>_> You :3 that wook pawe ÚwÚ and :3 twembwe uWu at ÚwÚ this chance, 
:33 That OwO awe >_> but :33 mutes ow audience to ÚwÚ this ;;w;; act, 
xDD Had UwU I >_> but time >_< (as ÚwÚ this UwU feww UwU sewgeant, Death, 
Is :3 stwict uWu in :33 his awwest) >_< O, UwU I couwd tell :3 you- 
OwO But wet >w< it >w< be. uWu Howatio, UwU I ^w^ am UwU dead; 
^.^ Thou ^.^ wiv'st; wepowt ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 my cause awight 
;;w;; To x3 the :3 unsatisfied. 
>_< How. xDD Nyevew ^-^ bewieve :3 it. 
UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ mowe >w< an >w< antique Roman than :3 a x3 Danye. 
>_> Hewe's yet x3 some liquor left. 
xDD Ham. ;;w;; As th'art :3 a ^w^ man, 
Give ;;w;; me x3 the >_> cup. Let :3 go! ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, I'll OwO ha't. 
x3 O ÚwÚ good uWu Howatio, >_> what :3 a wounded xDD nyame 
(Things >_< standing OwO thus unknown) UwU shaww ^w^ wive x3 behind me! 
;;w;; If xDD thou :33 didst OwO evew howd ;;w;; me uWu in >w< thy uWu heawt, 
Absent uWu thee from fewicity awhiwe, 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU hawsh wowwd dwaw >w< thy UwU bweath uWu in UwU pain, 
;;w;; To tell x3 my ;;w;; stowy. ^w^ [Mawch afaw ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and UwU shot :33 within.] 
>_> What warlike noise >_> is :3 this? 
Osr. Young ;;w;; Fowtinbwas, with conquest come from uWu Powand, 
;;w;; To x3 the ambassadors of England ;;w;; gives 
This warlike volley. 
xDD Ham. >_< O, UwU I >_> die, Horatio! 
uWu The x3 potent x3 poison quite o'ewcwows x3 my >w< spiwit. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ wive to hear x3 the nyews from England, 
OwO But UwU I UwU do >w< pwophesy x3 th' UwU ewection wights 
On Fowtinbwas. >w< He >_> has x3 my dying voice. 
^w^ So tell :3 him, with x3 th' x3 occuwwents, ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and UwU wess, 
>_< Which uWu have solicited- x3 the xDD west >_> is x3 siwence. >_< Dies. 
>_< How. Now xDD cwacks :3 a x3 nyobwe ;;w;; heawt. ^-^ Good night, x3 sweet >_< pwince, 
xDD And flights of ^-^ angews ^.^ sing uWu thee to >w< thy west! 
^w^ [Mawch :33 within.] 
Why does x3 the drum come uWu hithew? 

Entew Fortinbras ÚwÚ and :3 Engwish >w< Ambassadows, with Drum, 
>w< Cowouws, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

x3 Fowt. Whewe >_> is ÚwÚ this sight? 
>_< How. >_> What >_> is >w< it xDD you xDD wiww see? 
;;w;; If ^.^ aught of woe ow OwO wondew, xDD cease x3 youw seawch. 
x3 Fowt. This :33 quawwy x3 cwies on havoc. x3 O OwO pwoud Death, 
>_> What >_> feast >_> is toward uWu in ^.^ thinye xDD etewnyaw cell 
:33 That xDD thou UwU so UwU many pwinces uWu at :3 a UwU shot 
^w^ So bloodily x3 hast stwuck. 
xDD Ambassadow. uWu The ^.^ sight >_> is dismal; 
xDD And UwU ouw affairs from England come ^w^ too UwU wate. 
uWu The OwO eaws OwO awe senseless :3 that >_> shouwd UwU give >_> us :33 beawing 
;;w;; To tell ^.^ him :33 his commandment >_> is fuwfiww'd 
:33 That Rosencrantz ÚwÚ and ^-^ Guiwdenstewn OwO awe uWu dead. 
Whewe >_> shouwd We uWu have UwU ouw thanks? 
>_< How. ÚwÚ Nyot from :33 his uWu mouth, 
xDD Had >w< it x3 th' ability of >w< wife to >_> thank OwO you. 
>w< He >_< nyevew uWu gave commandment fow uWu theiw death. 
OwO But since, UwU so x3 jump ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this bwoody ^.^ question, 
>_> You from x3 the xDD Powack ^-^ waws, ÚwÚ and xDD you from England, 
^w^ Awe OwO hewe awwiv'd, UwU give order :3 that these >_< bodies 
xDD High on :3 a stage be pwaced to x3 the :33 view; 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me speak to x3 the yet ^.^ unknyowing wowwd 
How these ^.^ things ^-^ came ^-^ about. ^w^ So UwU shaww >_> You hear 
Of cawnyaw, bwoody ÚwÚ and unnyatuwaw ^.^ acts; 
Of accidental xDD judgments, UwU casuaw slaughters; 
Of >w< deaths put on ^.^ by x3 cunnying ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowc'd cause; 
^.^ And, uWu in ÚwÚ this upshot, uWu puwposes >_> mistook 
Fall'n on x3 th' inventors' :33 heads. All ÚwÚ this ^.^ can UwU I 
Truly deliver. 
x3 Fowt. Let >_> us ^.^ haste to hear :33 it, 
xDD And caww x3 the uWu nyobwest to x3 the audience. 
For uWu me, with sorrow UwU I >_< embwace x3 my xDD fowtunye. 
UwU I uWu have x3 some wights of ^w^ memowy uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ kingdom 
>_< Which now, to >_< cwaim x3 my ;;w;; vantage xDD doth invite x3 me. 
>_< How. Of :3 that UwU I UwU shaww uWu have awso cause to :3 speak, 
xDD And from :33 his xDD mouth x3 whose uWu voice xDD wiww dwaw on more. 
OwO But wet ÚwÚ this same be presently pewfowm'd, 
Even OwO whiwe men's minds OwO awe ^w^ wiwd, xDD west ^.^ mowe :33 mischance 
On plots ÚwÚ and ^-^ ewwows ^w^ happen. 
x3 Fowt. Let fouw ^.^ captains 
ÚwÚ Beaw ;;w;; Hamwet ^.^ wike :3 a soldier to x3 the stage; 
For ^.^ he UwU was :33 wikewy, xDD had ^.^ he :33 been put ;;w;; on, 
;;w;; To uWu have ^.^ pwov'd UwU most royally; ÚwÚ and fow :33 his uWu passage 
uWu The :3 sowdiews' uWu music ÚwÚ and x3 the rites of >w< waw 
^w^ Speak loudly fow ^.^ him. 
^.^ Take x3 up x3 the >_> bodies. >w< Such :3 a ^.^ sight >_< as ÚwÚ this 
>_> Becomes x3 the field >_> but OwO hewe >_< shows much ;;w;; amiss. 
^w^ Go, bid x3 the ^-^ sowdiews >_> shoot. 
Exeunt marching; ÚwÚ aftew x3 the which :3 a uWu peaw of owdnyance 
OwO awe UwU shot off. 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





1598 

^-^ THE uWu FIWST OwO PAWT ÚwÚ OF ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE ;;w;; FOUWTH 


^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

^w^ King Henwy x3 the Fourth. 
Henry, Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, >_< son to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
Prince John of Lancaster, >_< son to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^-^ Eaww of >_> Westmowewand. 
Sir Wawtew Bwunt. 
Thomas >w< Pewcy, ^-^ Eaww of Worcester. 
Henwy >w< Pewcy, ^-^ Eaww of >_< Nyowthumbewwand. 
Henwy >w< Pewcy, x3 suwnyamed x3 Hotspuw, :33 his OwO son. 
Edmund Mortimer, ^-^ Eaww of ^-^ Mawch. 
Richard ^.^ Scwoop, UwU Awchbishop of x3 Yowk. 
x3 Awchibawd, ^-^ Eaww of ^-^ Dougwas. 
OwO Owen >_< Gwendowew. 
Sir Richard Vernon. 
Sir John >w< Fawstaff. 
Sir Michael, :3 a :33 fwiend to x3 the UwU Awchbishop of x3 Yowk. 
UwU Poins. 
uWu Gadshiww 
^w^ Peto. 
^.^ Bawdowph. 

xDD Wady >w< Pewcy, >w< wife to x3 Hotspuw, ÚwÚ and :3 sistew to Mortimer. 
xDD Wady Mortimer, daughter to OwO Gwendowew, ÚwÚ and >w< wife to Mortimer. 
Mistress Quickly, hostess of x3 the Boar's Head uWu in ^w^ Eastcheap. 

;;w;; Wowds, ^-^ Officews, ÚwÚ Shewiff, Vintnyew, Chambewwain, >w< Dwawews, >w< two 
^-^ Cawwiews, Twavewwews, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENyE.--Engwand ÚwÚ and Wales. 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. Scene ^.^ I. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The OwO Pawace. 

Entew x3 the OwO King, Lord John of Lancaster, ^-^ Eaww of uWu Westmowewand, 
[Sir Wawtew OwO Bwunt,] with ÚwÚ othews. 

;;w;; King. ^w^ So ;;w;; shaken >_< as ^.^ we awe, UwU so wan with care, 
UwU Find ^.^ we :3 a time fow frighted uWu peace to :33 pant 
xDD And ;;w;; bweathe :3 showt-winded ;;w;; accents of x3 nyew ^-^ bwoiws 
;;w;; To be commenc'd uWu in xDD stwonds afaw remote. 
No ^.^ mowe x3 the ^.^ thiwsty entrance of ÚwÚ this UwU soiw 
Shall ;;w;; daub her lips with her UwU own chiwdwen's blood. 
No ^.^ mowe UwU shaww x3 twenching >w< waw :33 channyew her >w< fiewds, 
x3 Nyow OwO Bwuise her >_> fwow'wets with x3 the :3 awmed ^w^ hoofs 
Of >_> hostiwe paces. >w< Those >_< opposed eyes 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike x3 the meteows of :3 a troubled ^.^ heaven, 
All of one nyatuwe, of one ÚwÚ substance bwed, 
Did :3 watewy :3 meet uWu in x3 the >_> intestinye x3 shock 
xDD And ÚwÚ fuwious ^-^ cwose of ÚwÚ civiw :3 butchewy, 
Shall nyow uWu in ^-^ mutuaw weww-beseeming ;;w;; wanks 
March aww one uWu way ÚwÚ and be nyo ^.^ mowe x3 oppos'd 
^w^ Against ÚwÚ acquaintance, ;;w;; kindwed, ÚwÚ and >w< awwies. 
uWu The UwU edge of waw, ^.^ wike >w< an UwU iww-sheathed ^-^ knyife, 
No ^.^ mowe UwU shaww :3 cut :33 his master. >_< Thewefowe, OwO fwiends, 
;;w;; As uWu faw >_< as to x3 the >w< sepuwchwe of Chwist- 
>_< Whose soldier now, :33 undew x3 whose blessed OwO cwoss 
We OwO awe impwessed ÚwÚ and x3 engag'd to ^-^ fight- 
Fowthwith :3 a powew of :3 Engwish UwU shaww ^.^ we ÚwÚ wevy, 
>_< Whose :3 awms :3 wewe moulded uWu in uWu theiw ;;w;; mothew's womb 
;;w;; To OwO chase these uWu pagans uWu in UwU those >w< howy fields 
Over x3 whose acres wawk'd UwU those blessed ;;w;; feet 
>_< Which ^.^ fouwteen :3 hundwed years ^w^ ago :3 wewe >w< nyaiw'd 
For UwU ouw ^w^ advantage on x3 the UwU bittew cross. 
OwO But ÚwÚ this UwU ouw OwO puwpose nyow >_> is ;;w;; twewvemonth :3 owd, 
xDD And bootwess UwU 'tis to tell xDD you ^.^ we xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. 
Therefore ^.^ we :3 meet nyot now. UwU Then wet ;;w;; me hear 
Of UwU you, x3 my ^-^ gentwe xDD cousin uWu Westmowewand, 
>_> What yesternight UwU ouw Counciw uWu did x3 decwee 
^w^ In >_< fowwawding ÚwÚ this uWu deaw uWu expedience. 
:3 West. OwO My ^.^ wiege, ÚwÚ this ^.^ haste UwU was :3 hot uWu in ;;w;; question 
xDD And UwU many :3 wimits of x3 the :3 chawge uWu set down 
OwO But x3 yestewnyight; when aww :3 athwawt there ^-^ came 
^-^ A x3 post from ÚwÚ Wawes, ^w^ woaden with x3 heavy nyews; 
>_< Whose worst UwU was :3 that x3 the x3 nyobwe Mortimer, 
Weading x3 the ;;w;; men of Herefordshire to >w< fight 
^w^ Against x3 the :33 iwweguwaw ÚwÚ and >w< wiwd OwO Gwendowew, 
Was ^.^ by x3 the wude ^.^ hands of :3 that Wewshman >_< taken, 
^-^ A thousand of :33 his OwO peopwe OwO butchewed; 
>_> Upon x3 whose >_< dead corpse there UwU was xDD such OwO misuse, 
>w< Such OwO beastwy shameless transformation, 
^-^ By UwU those ^w^ Wewshwomen donye >_< as OwO may nyot be 
Without much ^-^ shame ;;w;; wetowd ow >w< spoken uWu of. 
;;w;; King. ^.^ It ;;w;; seems xDD then :3 that x3 the UwU tidings of ÚwÚ this ^w^ bwoiw 
>_< Bwake x3 off UwU ouw business fow x3 the Holy >_< Wand. 
:3 West. >w< This, match'd with ÚwÚ othew, ^-^ did, x3 my >_> gwacious wowd; 
For ^.^ mowe unyeven ÚwÚ and UwU unwewcome nyews 
>_< Came from x3 the North, ÚwÚ and OwO thus >w< it uWu did import: 
On uWu Howy-wood Day x3 the OwO gawwant >_> Hotspuw thewe, 
Young ÚwÚ Hawwy >w< Pewcy, ÚwÚ and >_< bwave x3 Awchibawd, 
:33 That ever-valiant ÚwÚ and appwuvd >_< Scot, 
At xDD Howmedon :3 met, 
Whewe ;;w;; they uWu did spend :3 a >_> sad ÚwÚ and bwoody houw; 
;;w;; As ^.^ by ;;w;; dischawge of uWu theiw ^w^ awtiwwewy 
xDD And xDD shape of likelihood x3 the nyews UwU was told; 
For ^.^ he :3 that ^.^ bwought ÚwÚ them, uWu in x3 the xDD vewy ^.^ heat 
xDD And >_< pwide of uWu theiw ;;w;; contention uWu did OwO take horse, 
Uncertain of x3 the x3 issue xDD any >_> way. 
;;w;; King. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a deaw, :3 a :33 twue-industwious fwiend, 
Sir Wawtew Bwunt, x3 nyew lighted from :33 his horse, 
Stain'd with x3 the ÚwÚ vawiation of >_< each UwU soiw 
Betwixt :3 that xDD Howmedon ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this uWu seat of >_> ouws, 
xDD And ^.^ he hath ^.^ bwought >_> us x3 smooth ÚwÚ and wewcome ;;w;; nyews. 
uWu The ^-^ Eaww of Dougwas >_> is x3 discomfited; 
uWu Ten thousand bold :33 Scots, ^.^ two-and-twenty knights, 
Bawk'd uWu in uWu theiw UwU own :3 bwood uWu did Sir Wawtew >_> see 
On Holmedon's pwains. Of pwisonyews, >_> Hotspuw >_> took 
^w^ Mowdake ^-^ Eaww of x3 Fife ÚwÚ and eldest >_< son 
;;w;; To beaten Dougwas, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ Eaww of :3 Athow, 
Of :3 Muwway, >_> Angus, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Menteith. 
xDD And >_> is nyot ÚwÚ this >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe :33 spoiw? 
^-^ A OwO gawwant pwize? >w< Ha, OwO cousin, >_> is >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
:3 West. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a conquest fow :3 a >_> pwince to boast uWu of. 
;;w;; King. Yea, there xDD thou xDD mak'st ;;w;; me :3 sad, ÚwÚ and xDD mak'st ;;w;; me x3 sin 
^w^ In :3 envy :3 that x3 my Lord ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand 
Should be x3 the >w< fathew to UwU so bwest :3 a >_< son- 
^-^ A >_< son who >_> is x3 the :33 theme of x3 honyouw's ;;w;; tongue, 
^-^ Amongst :3 a ;;w;; gwuv x3 the xDD vewy straightest plant; 
Who >_> is x3 sweet Fowtunye's uWu minyion ÚwÚ and her >_> pwide; 
Whilst I, ^.^ by ^w^ wooking on x3 the praise of :3 him, 
xDD See riot ÚwÚ and x3 dishonyouw stain x3 the ^w^ bwow 
Of x3 my xDD young :33 Hawwy. x3 O :3 that >w< it couwd be ^.^ pwov'd 
:33 That x3 some >w< nyight-twipping ;;w;; faiwy xDD had UwU exchang'd 
^w^ In >_> cwadwe x3 cwothes UwU ouw x3 chiwdwen :3 whewe ;;w;; they lay, 
xDD And ^w^ caww'd >_< minye >w< Pewcy, :33 his Pwantagenyet! 
UwU Then ^.^ wouwd UwU I uWu have :33 his ^w^ Hawwy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ^w^ minye. 
OwO But wet ^.^ him from x3 my >w< thoughts. >_> What think UwU you, x3 coz, 
Of ÚwÚ this xDD young ÚwÚ Pewcy's uWu pwide? uWu The OwO pwisonyews 
>_< Which ^.^ he uWu in ÚwÚ this adventuwe hath suwpwis'd 
;;w;; To :33 his UwU own use ^.^ he ^w^ keeps, ÚwÚ and OwO sends ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd 
UwU I UwU shaww uWu have >_< nyonye >_> but ^w^ Mowdake ^-^ Eaww of >_< Fife. 
:3 West. This >_> is :33 his ^-^ uncwe's uWu teaching, ÚwÚ this Worcester, 
Malevolent to xDD you ^w^ In aww >w< aspects, 
>_< Which x3 makes ^.^ him prune >_< himsewf ÚwÚ and xDD bwistwe x3 up 
uWu The uWu cwest of :33 youth OwO against x3 youw UwU dignyity. 
;;w;; King. OwO But UwU I uWu have sent fow ^.^ him to answew >_< this; 
xDD And fow ÚwÚ this cause ^-^ awhiwe ^.^ we ^w^ must >_> nyegwect 
Our >w< howy OwO puwpose to Jerusalem. 
Cousin, on >w< Wednyesday :3 nyext UwU ouw council ^.^ we 
Will howd uWu at Windsor. ^w^ So infowm x3 the :3 wowds; 
OwO But come >_> youwsewf with ^w^ speed to >_> us again; 
For ^.^ mowe >_> is to be uWu said ÚwÚ and to be donye 
Than x3 out of ÚwÚ angew ^.^ can be >_< uttewed. 
:3 West. UwU I xDD wiww x3 my OwO wiege. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
OwO Wondon. ^-^ An >_> apawtment of x3 the OwO Pwince's. 

Entew Prince of >_> Wawes ÚwÚ and Sir John >w< Fawstaff. 

Faw. >_> Nyow, Hal, >_> what time of day >_> is :33 it, ^-^ wad? 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ Thou awt UwU so >_> fat-witted with UwU dwinking of ;;w;; owd sack, ÚwÚ and 
unbuttoning uWu thee ÚwÚ aftew :3 suppew, ÚwÚ and x3 sweeping ;;w;; upon benches ÚwÚ aftew 
noon, :3 that xDD thou x3 hast :3 fowgotten to ;;w;; demand :3 that :33 twuwy which xDD thou 
ÚwÚ wouwdest :33 twuwy :33 knyow. >_> What :3 a ^.^ deviw x3 hast xDD thou to UwU do with x3 the time 
of x3 the ^-^ day, OwO Unwess >_> houws :3 wewe ;;w;; cups of sack, ÚwÚ and ^w^ minyutes capons, 
ÚwÚ and >_< cwocks x3 the tongues of >_< bawds, ÚwÚ and diaws x3 the signs of >_> weaping 
^-^ houses, ÚwÚ and x3 the blessed sun >_< himsewf :3 a >w< faiw :3 hot OwO wench uWu in 
OwO fwame-cowouwed taffeta, UwU I >_> see nyo reason >w< why xDD thou shouwdst be UwU so 
supewfwuous to ;;w;; demand x3 the time of x3 the x3 day. 
Faw. :33 Indeed xDD you come nyeaw ;;w;; me now, Hal; fow ^.^ we :3 that OwO take purses OwO go 
^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; moon xDD And x3 the ÚwÚ seven ÚwÚ staws, ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ by Phoebus, xDD he, :3 that 
>w< wand'wing knight UwU so >_< faiw. xDD And UwU I ^.^ pwithee, x3 sweet wag, when xDD thou awt 
OwO king, as, ^w^ God :3 save >w< thy Grace-Majesty UwU I >_> shouwd say, fow xDD gwace xDD thou 
wiwt uWu have ^w^ nyonye- 
UwU Pwince. What, none? 
Faw. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my >_> twoth; nyot UwU so much >_< as xDD wiww serve to be uWu pwowogue to 
>w< an >_> egg ÚwÚ and >_> buttew. 
UwU Pwince. xDD Weww, >w< how ^w^ then? ^.^ Come, :33 woundwy, UwU woundwy. 
Faw. OwO Mawwy, >w< then, x3 sweet wag, when xDD thou awt OwO king, wet nyot >_> us :3 that 
OwO awe ^-^ squiwes of x3 the night's >w< body be ^w^ cawwed thieves of x3 the day's 
beauty. Let >_> us be Diana's OwO Fowestews, ^.^ Gentwemen of x3 the Shade, 
Minions of x3 the Moon; ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; men >_> say ^.^ we be ;;w;; men of ÚwÚ good 
guvwnment, ^.^ being :33 guvwnyed >_< as x3 the sea ;;w;; is, ^.^ by UwU ouw x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and >w< chaste 
mistwess x3 the ;;w;; moon, :33 undew x3 whose >_< countenyance ^.^ we :33 steaw. 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ Thou sayest weww, ÚwÚ and >w< it ÚwÚ howds weww :3 too; fow x3 the :3 fowtunye of 
>_> us :3 that OwO awe x3 the x3 moon's ;;w;; men xDD doth ebb ÚwÚ and fwow ^.^ wike x3 the :33 sea, ^.^ being 
UwU guvwnyed, >_< as x3 the sea ;;w;; is, ^.^ by x3 the x3 moon. As, fow xDD pwoof >w< nyow: :3 a >_< puwse 
of gowd UwU most ^-^ wesowutewy ^-^ snyatch'd on OwO Monday >w< nyight ÚwÚ and UwU most 
dissowutewy xDD spent on Tuesday morning; ^w^ got with swearing 'Lay by,' 
ÚwÚ and xDD spent with :3 cwying ^w^ 'Bwing >_> in'; nyow :33 iww >_< as wow >w< an ebb >_< as x3 the 
:33 foot of x3 the waddew, ÚwÚ and by-and-by uWu in >_< as xDD high :3 a fwow >_< as x3 the >_> widge 
of x3 the >_> gawwows. 
Faw. ^-^ By x3 the Wowd, xDD thou say'st ^-^ twue, lad- ÚwÚ and >_> is nyot x3 my hostess of 
x3 the ^.^ tavewn :3 a UwU most x3 sweet UwU wench? 
UwU Pwince. ;;w;; As x3 the honey of UwU Hybwa, x3 my ;;w;; owd >_< wad of x3 the ^-^ castwe- ÚwÚ and >_> is nyot 
:3 a ^.^ buff x3 jewkin :3 a UwU most x3 sweet wobe of durance? 
Faw. How now, >w< how now, ^-^ mad >w< wag? What, uWu in >w< thy uWu quips ÚwÚ and >w< thy 
>w< quiddities? >_> What :3 a pwague uWu have UwU I to UwU do with :3 a ^.^ buff jewkin? 
UwU Pwince. Why, >_> what :3 a uWu pox uWu have UwU I to UwU do with x3 my hostess of x3 the tavern? 
Faw. xDD Weww, xDD thou x3 hast ^w^ caww'd her to :3 a reckoning UwU many :3 a time ÚwÚ and oft. 
UwU Pwince. Did UwU I OwO evew caww fow uWu thee to x3 pay >w< thy :33 pawt? 
Faw. No; I'll UwU give uWu thee >w< thy >_> due, xDD thou x3 hast paid aww :33 thewe. 
UwU Pwince. Yea, ÚwÚ and :3 ewsewhewe, UwU so uWu faw >_< as x3 my ^-^ coin ^.^ wouwd stwetch; ÚwÚ and 
:3 whewe >w< it ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, UwU I uWu have used x3 my >w< cwedit. 
Faw. Yea, ÚwÚ and UwU so ;;w;; us'd >w< it :3 that, :3 wewe >w< it nyot OwO hewe apparent :3 that xDD thou 
awt heir UwU appawent- OwO But UwU I ^.^ pwithee, x3 sweet wag, UwU shaww there be 
>_< gawwows >_< standing uWu in England when xDD thou awt UwU king? ÚwÚ and uWu wesowution 
OwO thus :33 fubb'd >_< as >w< it >_> is with x3 the rusty ^.^ cuwb of ;;w;; owd >w< fathew ^.^ antic x3 the 
;;w;; waw? Do nyot UwU thou, when xDD thou awt OwO king, ^w^ hang :3 a >w< thief. 
UwU Pwince. No; xDD thou :33 shawt. 
Faw. Shall >_< I? x3 O wawe! ^-^ By x3 the Wowd, I'll be :3 a >_< bwave ^-^ judge. 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ Thou >_> judgest UwU fawse >_< awweady. UwU I mean, xDD thou shalt uWu have x3 the 
>_< hanging of x3 the thieves ÚwÚ and UwU so :33 become :3 a OwO wawe uWu hangman. 
Faw. xDD Weww, Hal, well; ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 some ;;w;; sowt >w< it >_> jumps with x3 my humouw >_< as 
weww >_< as uWu waiting uWu in x3 the xDD couwt, UwU I ^.^ can tell OwO you. 
UwU Pwince. For obtaining of x3 suits? 
Faw. Yea, fow obtaining of suits, xDD wheweof x3 the ;;w;; hangman hath nyo lean 
wawdwobe. ^-^ 'Sbwood, UwU I ^w^ am >_< as ^-^ mewanchowy >_< as :3 a ^w^ gib-cat ow :3 a uWu wugg'd 
bear. 
UwU Pwince. :33 Ow >w< an ;;w;; owd wion, ow :3 a lover's >_< wute. 
Faw. Yea, ow x3 the drone of :3 a Wincownshiwe ^-^ bagpipe. 
UwU Pwince. >_> What sayest xDD thou to :3 a :33 hawe, ow x3 the ^-^ mewanchowy of Moor 
:33 Ditch? 
Faw. ^.^ Thou x3 hast x3 the UwU most unsavouwy simiwes, ÚwÚ and awt ÚwÚ indeed x3 the UwU most 
xDD compawative, rascalliest, x3 sweet xDD young pwince. But, Hal, UwU I :33 pwithee 
>_> twoubwe ;;w;; me nyo ^.^ mowe with ^-^ vanyity. UwU I ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God xDD thou ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU knyew 
:3 whewe :3 a :3 commodity of ÚwÚ good nyames :3 wewe to be x3 bought. ^-^ An ;;w;; owd ;;w;; wowd of 
x3 the Counciw :33 wated ;;w;; me x3 the othew day uWu in x3 the :3 stweet about UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
>_> but UwU I uWu mawk'd ^.^ him x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and yet ^.^ he UwU tawked xDD vewy wisely, >_> but UwU I 
:3 wegawded ^.^ him x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and yet ^.^ he ^w^ tawk'd wisely, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the :3 stweet 
UwU too. 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ Thou :33 didst well; fow ^.^ wisdom x3 cwies x3 out uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ stweets, ÚwÚ and 
nyo x3 man wegawds :3 it. 
Faw. >_< O, xDD thou x3 hast ^w^ damnyabwe :3 itewation, ÚwÚ and awt ÚwÚ indeed able to 
corrupt :3 a >_< saint. ^.^ Thou x3 hast donye much x3 hawm ;;w;; upon uWu me, x3 Haw- ^w^ God 
:33 fowgive uWu thee fow :3 it! ^.^ Befowe UwU I UwU knyew ÚwÚ thee, Hal, UwU I UwU knyew uWu nyothing; ÚwÚ and 
nyow ^w^ am I, >_> if :3 a x3 man >_> shouwd speak OwO twuwy, xDD wittwe xDD bettew than one of 
x3 the wicked. UwU I ^w^ must UwU give uvw ÚwÚ this :3 wife, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww UwU give >w< it >_< uvw! 
^-^ By x3 the Wowd, >w< an UwU I UwU do >_> nyot, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :33 viwwain! I'll be damn'd fow 
>_< nyevew :3 a >_< king's >_< son uWu in Chwistendom. 
UwU Pwince. Whewe UwU shaww ^.^ we OwO take :3 a >_< puwse ^-^ tomowwow, UwU Jack? 
Faw. Zounds, :3 whewe xDD thou wiwt, lad! I'll >_< make onye. ^-^ An UwU I UwU do >_> nyot, caww 
;;w;; me viwwain ÚwÚ and >_> baffwe x3 me. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I >_> see :3 a ÚwÚ good ;;w;; amendment of >w< wife uWu in ;;w;; thee- from :3 pwaying to 
puwse-taking. 
Faw. Why, Hal, UwU 'tis x3 my OwO vocation, >_< Haw. 'Tis nyo x3 sin fow :3 a x3 man to 
labour uWu in :33 his >w< vocation. 

Entew UwU Poins. 

xDD Poins! Now UwU shaww ^.^ we ^.^ knyow >_> if uWu Gadshiww uWu have uWu set :3 a match. >_< O, >_> if ;;w;; men 
:3 wewe to be ÚwÚ saved ^.^ by uWu mewit, >_> what x3 howe uWu in heww :3 wewe :3 hot enough fow 
him? This >_> is x3 the UwU most ^w^ omnyipotent viwwain :3 that OwO evew cried :33 'Stand!' 
to :3 a true man. 
UwU Pwince. ^-^ Good morrow, Nyed. 
UwU Poins. ^-^ Good morrow, x3 sweet >_< Haw. >_> What ;;w;; says ;;w;; Monsieuw ^w^ Wemowse? >_> What 
;;w;; says Sir John ^.^ Sack ÚwÚ and >_< Sugaw? Jack, >w< how :3 agwees x3 the ^.^ deviw ÚwÚ and uWu thee 
about >w< thy x3 souw, :3 that xDD thou sowdest ^.^ him on ^-^ Good ^.^ Fwiday >w< wast fow :3 a 
>w< cup of uWu Madeiwa ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU cowd ÚwÚ capon's :3 weg? 
UwU Pwince. Sir John >w< stands to :33 his word, x3 the ^.^ deviw UwU shaww uWu have :33 his 
bargain; fow ^.^ he UwU was >_< nyevew yet :3 a bweakew of >_> pwuvwbs. >w< He xDD wiww UwU give 
x3 the ^.^ deviw :33 his ÚwÚ due. 
UwU Poins. UwU Then awt xDD thou damn'd fow ^w^ keeping >w< thy ;;w;; wowd with x3 the deviw. 
UwU Pwince. ^-^ Ewse ^.^ he xDD had :33 been damn'd fow cozening x3 the deviw. 
UwU Poins. But, x3 my >w< wads, x3 my >w< wads, to-mowwow UwU mownying, ^.^ by fouw UwU o'cwock 
xDD eawwy, uWu at Gadshill! >_> Thewe OwO awe piwgwims OwO gong to >w< Cantewbuwy with 
rich :3 offewings, ÚwÚ and traders riding to ;;w;; Wondon with :33 fat x3 puwses. UwU I 
uWu have UwU vizawds fow xDD you aww; xDD you uWu have :3 howses fow youwsewves. 
uWu Gadshiww wies ^.^ to-nyight uWu in Rochester. UwU I uWu have ;;w;; bespoke OwO suppew 
to-mowwow >w< nyight uWu in ^w^ Eastcheap. We OwO may UwU do >w< it >_< as ^.^ secuwe >_< as OwO sweep. ;;w;; If 
xDD you xDD wiww x3 go, UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ stuff x3 youw purses full of cwowns; >_> if xDD you xDD wiww 
>_> nyot, ^.^ tawwy uWu at ^.^ home ÚwÚ and be hang'd! 
Faw. >w< Heaw :3 ye, Yedward: >_> if UwU I ^.^ tawwy uWu at ^.^ home ÚwÚ and OwO go >_> nyot, I'll ^w^ hang xDD you 
fow uWu going. 
UwU Poins. >_> You :33 wiww, ÚwÚ chops? 
Faw. Hal, wiwt xDD thou >_< make onye? 
UwU Pwince. UwU Who, UwU I rob? UwU I :3 a :3 thief? ÚwÚ Nyot I, ^.^ by x3 my ÚwÚ faith. 
Faw. >_> Thewe's :3 nyeithew :3 honyesty, x3 manhood, nor ÚwÚ good fewwowship uWu in ÚwÚ thee, 
nor xDD thou xDD cam'st nyot of x3 the :3 bwood royal >_> if xDD thou darest nyot stand 
fow ;;w;; ten shillings. 
UwU Pwince. Weww >w< then, >_> once uWu in x3 my OwO days I'll be :3 a ;;w;; madcap. 
Faw. Why, ^w^ that's weww UwU said. 
UwU Pwince. xDD Weww, come >_> what :33 wiww, I'll ^.^ tawwy uWu at >_> home. 
Faw. ^-^ By x3 the Wowd, I'll be :3 a traitor >w< then, when xDD thou awt king. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I :3 cawe not. 
UwU Poins. Sir John, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, OwO weave x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me >_< awonye. UwU I xDD wiww 
uWu way ^.^ him down xDD such weasons fow ÚwÚ this adventuwe :3 that ^.^ he UwU shaww ÚwÚ go. 
Faw. xDD Weww, ^w^ God UwU give uWu thee x3 the ^w^ spiwit of :3 pewsuasion ÚwÚ and ^.^ him x3 the OwO eaws 
of pwofiting, :3 that >_> what xDD thou xDD speakest OwO may move ÚwÚ and >_> what ^.^ he x3 heaws 
OwO may be OwO bewieved, :3 that x3 the true >_> pwince OwO may (fow recreation UwU sake) 
^-^ pwuv :3 a UwU fawse ^.^ thief; fow x3 the poor abuses of x3 the time ^.^ want 
ÚwÚ countenyance. Farewell; xDD you UwU shaww find ;;w;; me uWu in ^w^ Eastcheap. 
UwU Pwince. UwU Faweweww, xDD thou UwU wattew >w< spwing! farewell, Aww-hawwown summer! 
uWu Exit >w< Fawstaff. 
UwU Poins. >_> Nyow, x3 my ÚwÚ good x3 sweet honey uWu wowd, uWu wide with >_> us ÚwÚ to-mowwow. UwU I 
uWu have :3 a xDD jest to :33 execute :3 that UwU I ;;w;; cannyot manage >_< awonye. :33 Fawstaff, 
xDD Bawdowph, Peto, ÚwÚ and uWu Gadshiww UwU shaww rob UwU those ;;w;; men :3 that ^.^ we uWu have 
xDD awweady ÚwÚ waywaid; >_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww nyot be uWu thewe; ÚwÚ and when ;;w;; they 
uWu have x3 the >w< booty, >_> if xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU do nyot rob ÚwÚ them, :3 cut ÚwÚ this >_> head x3 off 
from x3 my shoulders. 
UwU Pwince. How UwU shaww ^.^ we ÚwÚ pawt with them uWu in >w< setting uWu fowth? 
UwU Poins. Why, ^.^ we xDD wiww uWu set fowth >w< befowe ow ÚwÚ aftew them ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ appoint them 
:3 a :33 pwace of meeting, wherein >w< it >_> is uWu at UwU ouw :3 pweasuwe to faiw; ÚwÚ and 
xDD then xDD wiww ;;w;; they adventuwe ;;w;; upon x3 the ^.^ expwoit themselves; which ;;w;; they 
UwU shaww uWu have nyo :33 soonyew ;;w;; achieved, >_> but we'll uWu set ;;w;; upon OwO them. 
UwU Pwince. Yea, >_> but UwU 'tis ^.^ wike :3 that ;;w;; they xDD wiww ^.^ knyow >_> us ^.^ by UwU ouw howses, ^.^ by 
UwU ouw ;;w;; habits, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by every othew >_< appointment, to be uWu ouwsewves. 
UwU Poins. Tut! UwU ouw :3 howses ;;w;; they UwU shaww nyot >_> see- I'll :33 tie them uWu in x3 the 
^w^ wood; UwU ouw xDD wizawds ^.^ we xDD wiww change ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ we OwO weave OwO them; x3 and, 
sirrah, UwU I uWu have xDD cases of OwO buckwam fow x3 the ;;w;; nyonce, to ÚwÚ immask UwU ouw 
noted :33 outwawd x3 gawments. 
UwU Pwince. Yea, >_> but UwU I doubt ;;w;; they xDD wiww be ^w^ too x3 hawd fow >_> us. 
UwU Poins. xDD Weww, fow >w< two of ÚwÚ them, UwU I ^.^ knyow them to be >_< as true-bred 
^w^ cowawds >_< as OwO evew >_> tuwn'd back; ÚwÚ and fow x3 the OwO thiwd, >_> if ^.^ he >w< fight 
longer than ^.^ he sees weason, I'll >w< fowsweaw arms. uWu The viwtue of 
ÚwÚ this xDD jest xDD wiww >_< wie x3 the OwO incompwehensibwe wies :3 that ÚwÚ this same :33 fat 
;;w;; wogue xDD wiww tell >_> us when ^.^ we :3 meet uWu at supper: >w< how UwU thiwty, uWu at least, 
^.^ he ÚwÚ fought x3 with; >_> what UwU wawds, >_> what ÚwÚ bwows, >_> what >_< extwemities ^.^ he 
endured; ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the >_< wepwoof of ÚwÚ this wies x3 the ;;w;; jest. 
UwU Pwince. xDD Weww, I'll OwO go with thee. Provide >_> us aww ^.^ things ^.^ nyecessawy 
ÚwÚ and :3 meet ;;w;; me ^.^ to-nyight uWu in ^w^ Eastcheap. >_> Thewe I'll uWu sup. uWu Faweweww. 
UwU Poins. UwU Faweweww, x3 my OwO wowd. ÚwÚ Exit. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you all, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ^-^ awhiwe uWu uphowd 
uWu The :33 unyok'd humouw of x3 youw >_< idwenyess. 
ÚwÚ Yet >w< hewein xDD wiww UwU I ^.^ imitate x3 the sun, 
Who xDD doth >_< pewmit x3 the UwU base ^-^ contagious :33 cwouds 
;;w;; To >w< smothew x3 up :33 his beauty from x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
^.^ That, when ^.^ he uWu pwease again to >_< wie himsewf, 
uWu Being wanted, ^.^ he OwO may be ^.^ mowe x3 wond'wed uWu at 
^-^ By breaking ^w^ thwough x3 the fouw ÚwÚ and ugwy ÚwÚ mists 
Of uWu vapouws :3 that uWu did xDD seem to strangle ^.^ him. 
;;w;; If aww x3 the xDD yeaw :3 wewe :3 pwaying howidays, 
;;w;; To spowt ^.^ wouwd be >_< as tedious >_< as to >_> wowk; 
OwO But when ;;w;; they seldom come, ;;w;; they :33 wish'd-fow come, 
xDD And >_< nyothing xDD pweaseth >_> but OwO wawe >_< accidents. 
So, when ÚwÚ this ;;w;; woose >_> behaviouw UwU I ^-^ thwow x3 off 
xDD And x3 pay x3 the >_> debt UwU I >_< nyevew >_< pwomised, 
^-^ By >w< how much xDD bettew than x3 my ;;w;; wowd UwU I am, 
^-^ By UwU so much UwU shaww UwU I xDD fawsify men's uWu hopes; 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike uWu bwight >_< metaw on :3 a UwU suwwen ground, 
OwO My >_< wefowmation, gwitt'wing ^-^ o'ew x3 my ^w^ fauwt, 
Shall x3 show ^.^ mowe xDD goodwy ÚwÚ and :33 attwact ^.^ mowe eyes 
Than :3 that which hath nyo ÚwÚ foiw to uWu set >w< it off. 
I'll UwU so ^-^ offend to >_< make offence :3 a ^-^ skiww, 
Wedeeming time when ;;w;; men think least UwU I :33 wiww. ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene >_> III. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The OwO Pawace. 

Entew x3 the OwO King, >_> Nyowthumbewwand, Worcester, x3 Hotspuw, Sir Wawtew Bwunt, 
with ÚwÚ othews. 

;;w;; King. OwO My :3 bwood hath :33 been ^w^ too UwU cowd ÚwÚ and tempewate, 
Unyapt to stir uWu at these indignyities, 
xDD And xDD you uWu have >_> found uWu me, fow ;;w;; accowdingwy 
>_> You ;;w;; twead ;;w;; upon x3 my >_> patience; >_> but be >_< suwe 
UwU I xDD wiww from henceforth rather be myself, 
>w< Mighty ÚwÚ and to be feaw'd, than x3 my ^w^ condition, 
>_< Which hath :33 been x3 smooth >_< as ÚwÚ oiw, soft >_< as xDD young ;;w;; down, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe wost :3 that ;;w;; titwe of wespect 
>_< Which x3 the OwO pwoud :3 souw ^w^ nye'ew >w< pays >_> but to x3 the :3 pwoud. 
Wor. Our house, x3 my suvweign ^.^ wiege, xDD wittwe >_> desewves 
uWu The scourge of :33 gweatnyess to be ;;w;; us'd on OwO it- 
xDD And :3 that same :33 gweatnyess ^w^ too which UwU ouw UwU own ^.^ hands 
:3 Have holp to >_< make UwU so ^w^ powtwy. 
:3 Nyowth. OwO My wowd- 
;;w;; King. Worcester, get uWu thee xDD gonye; fow UwU I UwU do >_> see 
^-^ Dangew ÚwÚ and uWu disobedience uWu in ^.^ thinye :33 eye. 
>_< O, ^w^ siw, x3 youw x3 pwesence >_> is ^w^ too bold ÚwÚ and pewemptowy, 
xDD And ^.^ majesty ^w^ might >_< nyevew yet OwO enduwe 
uWu The moody OwO fwontiew of :3 a xDD sewvant >_> bwow. 
^w^ Tou uWu have ÚwÚ good OwO weave to OwO weave >_> us. x3 When ^.^ we >_< nyeed 
uWu 'Youw use ÚwÚ and counsew, ^.^ we UwU shaww >_> send fow OwO you. 
uWu Exit Worcester. 
>_> You :3 wewe about to >_< speak. 
:3 Nyowth. Yea, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
>w< Those OwO pwisonyews uWu in x3 youw Highness' xDD nyame ÚwÚ demanded 
>_< Which ÚwÚ Hawwy ^-^ Pewcy OwO hewe uWu at xDD Howmedon took, 
>_< Wewe, >_< as ^.^ he says, nyot with xDD such ÚwÚ stwength >w< denyied 
;;w;; As >_> is ^-^ dewivewed to x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
^-^ Eithew xDD envy, OwO thewefowe, ow UwU mispwision 
Is guiwty of ÚwÚ this ^w^ fauwt, ÚwÚ and nyot x3 my OwO son. 
^w^ Hot. OwO My ^.^ wiege, UwU I uWu did UwU deny nyo pwisonyews. 
OwO But UwU I UwU wemembew, when x3 the >w< fight UwU was :33 donye, 
x3 When UwU I UwU was xDD dwy with xDD wage ÚwÚ and extweme toww, 
Breathless ÚwÚ and :33 faint, weanying ;;w;; upon x3 my uWu swowd, 
>_< Came there :3 a xDD cewtain uWu wowd, neat ÚwÚ and trimly dwess'd, 
>w< Fwesh >_< as :3 a uWu bwidegwoom; ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ chin x3 nyew >_< weap'd 
Show'd ^.^ wike :3 a stubbwe ÚwÚ wand uWu at harvest >_> home. 
>w< He UwU was perfumed ^.^ wike :3 a miwwinyew, 
xDD And 'twixt :33 his finger ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< thumb ^.^ he hewd 
^-^ A UwU pouncet OwO box, which OwO evew ÚwÚ and :3 anyon 
>w< He uWu gave :33 his nose, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; took't OwO away again; 
Who OwO thewewith ;;w;; angwy, when >w< it :3 nyext ^-^ came thewe, 
>w< Took >w< it uWu in x3 snyuff; ÚwÚ and still ^.^ he ^w^ smiw'd ÚwÚ and talk'd; 
xDD And >_< as x3 the ^-^ sowdiews bore >_< dead >_< bodies UwU by, 
>w< He ^w^ caww'd them untaught knaves, unmannyewwy, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing :3 a ^.^ swuvnwy >_> unhandsome cowse 
Betwixt x3 the wind ÚwÚ and :33 his nobility. 
With UwU many x3 howiday ÚwÚ and uWu wady terms 
>w< He UwU questionyed uWu me, amongst x3 the xDD west ÚwÚ demanded 
OwO My OwO pwisonyews uWu in x3 youw :33 Majesty's ^.^ behawf. 
UwU I >w< then, aww ^-^ smawting with x3 my wounds ^.^ being >_< cowd, 
;;w;; To be UwU so pest'red with :3 a ^.^ popingay, 
UwU Out of x3 my grief ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> impatience 
Answew'd x3 nyegwectingwy, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot what- 
>w< He should, ow ^.^ he >_> shouwd x3 nyot; fow ^.^ he UwU made ;;w;; me ^-^ mad 
;;w;; To >_> see ^.^ him shine UwU so bwisk, ÚwÚ and smell UwU so sweet, 
xDD And tawk UwU so ^.^ wike :3 a uWu waiting :33 gentwewoman 
Of ^-^ guns ÚwÚ and xDD dwums ÚwÚ and UwU wounds- ^w^ God :3 save x3 the mawk!- 
xDD And :3 tewwing ;;w;; me x3 the OwO suvweignyest ^.^ thing on ^.^ eawth 
Was xDD pawmacity fow >w< an inward bruise; 
xDD And :3 that >w< it UwU was great pity, UwU so >w< it UwU was, 
This villanous saltpetre >_> shouwd be xDD digg'd 
UwU Out of x3 the bowels of x3 the UwU hawmwess earth, 
>_< Which UwU many :3 a ÚwÚ good ;;w;; taww fewwow xDD had >w< destwoy'd 
^w^ So x3 cowawdwy; ÚwÚ and >_> but fow these ^-^ viwe ;;w;; 'guns, 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd >_< himsewf uWu have :33 been :3 a OwO sowdiew. 
This ;;w;; bawd unjointed ^.^ chat of his, x3 my uWu wowd, 
UwU I OwO answewed :33 indiwectwy, >_< as UwU I said, 
xDD And UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, wet nyot :33 his wepowt 
:3 Come :3 cuwwent fow >w< an :33 accusation 
Betwixt x3 my wuv ÚwÚ and x3 youw xDD high :33 majesty. 
Bwunt. uWu The circumstance considewed, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, 
ÚwÚ Whate'ew Lord ÚwÚ Hawwy ^-^ Pewcy xDD then xDD had uWu said 
;;w;; To xDD such :3 a pewson, ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD such :3 a pwace, 
At xDD such :3 a time, with aww x3 the xDD west wetowd, 
^-^ May >_> weasonyabwy >_> die, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew rise 
;;w;; To UwU do ^.^ him wwong, ow xDD any uWu way x3 impeach 
>_> What xDD then ^.^ he said, UwU so ^.^ he ^.^ unsay >w< it now. 
;;w;; King. Why, yet ^.^ he xDD doth UwU deny :33 his pwisonyews, 
OwO But with OwO pwoviso ÚwÚ and >w< exception, 
:33 That ^.^ we uWu at UwU ouw UwU own :3 chawge UwU shaww wansom ^w^ stwaight 
ÚwÚ His >_> bwothew-in-waw, x3 the >_< foowish Mortimer; 
UwU Who, on x3 my x3 souw, hath uWu wiwfuwwy betray'd 
uWu The ;;w;; wives of UwU those :3 that ^.^ he uWu did lead to >w< fight 
^w^ Against :3 that great OwO magician, damn'd OwO Gwendowew, 
>_< Whose ^w^ daughtew, >_< as ^.^ we heaw, x3 the ^-^ Eaww of March 
>_< Hath :3 watewy mawwied. Shall UwU ouw >_> coffews, >w< then, 
^w^ Be UwU emptied to xDD wedeem :3 a traitor ^w^ home? 
Shall ^.^ we UwU buy :3 tweason? ÚwÚ and :3 indent with OwO feaws 
x3 When ;;w;; they uWu have wost ÚwÚ and >_< fowfeited ^.^ themsewves? 
:3 Nyo, on x3 the ^-^ bawwen ^-^ mountains wet ^.^ him >w< stawve! 
For UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew howd :3 that x3 man x3 my :33 fwiend 
>_< Whose >_> tongue UwU shaww ^w^ ask ;;w;; me fow one ÚwÚ penny >_> cost 
;;w;; To wansom ^.^ home ^w^ wevowted Mortimer. 
^w^ Hot. Revolted OwO Mowtimew? 
>w< He >_< nyevew uWu did faww ^w^ off, x3 my suvweign ^.^ wiege, 
OwO But ^.^ by x3 the chance of waw. ;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv :3 that true 
Nyeeds nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but one >_> tongue fow aww UwU those ;;w;; wounds, 
>w< Those >_> mouthed ;;w;; wounds, which valiantly ^.^ he >_> took 
x3 When on x3 the ^-^ gentwe ^-^ Sevewn's :3 sedgy ^.^ bank, 
^w^ In :3 singwe :33 opposition uWu hand to uWu hand, 
>w< He uWu did confound x3 the best ÚwÚ pawt of >w< an >_> houw 
^w^ In :3 changing ;;w;; hawdiment with great >_< Gwendowew. 
Thwee times ;;w;; they bweath'd, ÚwÚ and >w< thwee times uWu did ;;w;; they dwink, 
>_> Upon agreement, of UwU swift ^-^ Sevewn's flood; 
Who >w< then, affwighted with uWu theiw bwoody looks, 
Wan uWu feawfuwwy ^-^ among x3 the uWu twembwing UwU weeds 
xDD And >_< hid :33 his ^.^ cwisp >_> head uWu in x3 the OwO howwow ^.^ bank, 
Bloodstained with these uWu vawiant >w< cohabitants. 
xDD Nyevew uWu did UwU base ÚwÚ and wotten UwU powicy 
>_> Cowouw her >w< wowking with xDD such deadwy >_< wounds; 
x3 Nyow >_< nyevew couwd x3 the x3 nyobwe ^-^ Mowtimew 
Receive UwU so UwU many, ÚwÚ and aww >_< wiwwingwy. 
UwU Then wet nyot ^.^ him be swandewed with revolt. 
;;w;; King. ^.^ Thou dost belie :3 him, >w< Pewcy, xDD thou dost belie x3 him! 
>w< He >_< nyevew uWu did x3 encountew with >_< Gwendowew. 
UwU I tell uWu thee 
>w< He x3 duwst >_< as weww uWu have >w< met x3 the ^.^ deviw awonye 
;;w;; As OwO Owen ;;w;; Gwendowew fow >w< an enemy. 
Awt xDD thou nyot asham'd? But, sirrah, henceforth 
Let ;;w;; me nyot hear xDD you speak of Mortimer. 
>_< Send ;;w;; me x3 youw OwO pwisonyews with x3 the ÚwÚ speediest >_< means, 
:33 Ow xDD you UwU shaww hear uWu in xDD such :3 a uWu kind from ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As xDD wiww UwU dispwease OwO you. OwO My Lord >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
We x3 wicense x3 youw :3 depawtuwe with x3 youw ^w^ son.- 
>_< Send >_> us x3 youw pwisonyews, ow xDD you xDD wiww hear of :3 it. 
Exeunt OwO King, [Bwunt, ÚwÚ and :33 Twain] 
^w^ Hot. ^-^ An >_> if x3 the ^.^ deviw come ÚwÚ and roar fow ÚwÚ them, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> send OwO them. UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ aftew ^w^ stwaight 
xDD And tell ^.^ him so; fow UwU I xDD wiww >_> ewse x3 my uWu heawt, 
Awbeit UwU I >_< make :3 a >_< hazawd of x3 my >_> head. 
:3 Nyowth. What, UwU dwunk with chowew? Stay, ÚwÚ and :3 pause OwO awhiwe. 
:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 youw uncle. 

Entew Worcester. 

^w^ Hot. ^w^ Speak of OwO Mowtimew? 
Zounds, UwU I xDD wiww speak of :3 him, ÚwÚ and wet x3 my :3 souw 
OwO Want xDD mewcy >_> if UwU I UwU do nyot ^w^ join with x3 him! 
Yea, on :33 his ÚwÚ pawt I'll :33 empty aww these >_> veins, 
xDD And x3 shed x3 my uWu deaw :3 bwood >_< dwop ^.^ by >_< dwop uWu in x3 the :33 dust, 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww lift x3 the downtrod ^-^ Mowtimew 
;;w;; As xDD high uWu in x3 the ^w^ aiw >_< as ÚwÚ this x3 unthankfuw OwO king, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this xDD ingwate ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cank'wed ^.^ Bowingbwoke. 
:3 Nyowth. UwU Bwothew, x3 the ^w^ King hath UwU made x3 youw nephew >_> mad. 
Wor. Who >w< stwuck ÚwÚ this ^.^ heat x3 up ÚwÚ aftew UwU I UwU was gone? 
^w^ Hot. >w< He xDD wiww ^-^ (fowsooth) uWu have aww x3 my xDD pwisonyews; 
xDD And when UwU I ;;w;; uwg'd x3 the wansom >_> once again 
Of x3 my wive's brother, xDD then :33 his >_< cheek >_> wook'd pawe, 
xDD And on x3 my OwO face ^.^ he >_> tuwn'd >w< an ^w^ eye of UwU death, 
Trembling even uWu at x3 the xDD nyame of Mortimer. 
Wor. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu bwame ^.^ him. Was nyot ^.^ he proclaim'd 
^-^ By Richard :3 that >_< dead ;;w;; is, x3 the :3 nyext of >_< bwood? 
:3 Nyowth. >w< He OwO was; UwU I heard x3 the xDD pwocwamation. 
xDD And xDD then >w< it UwU was when x3 the xDD unhappy ^w^ King 
>_< (Whose >_< wwongs uWu in >_> us ^w^ God >_< pawdon!) uWu did uWu set fowth 
>_> Upon :33 his Irish :3 expedition; 
Fwom >_> whence ^.^ he ^-^ intewcepted uWu did ^-^ wetuwn 
;;w;; To be >w< depos'd, ÚwÚ and x3 showtwy OwO muwdewed. 
Wor. xDD And fow x3 whose :33 death ^.^ we uWu in x3 the OwO wowwd's uWu wide xDD mouth 
Wive scandaliz'd ÚwÚ and foully >w< spoken uWu of. 
^w^ Hot. OwO But OwO soft, UwU I pray OwO you. Did ^w^ King Richard xDD then 
ÚwÚ Pwocwaim x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew Edmund ^-^ Mowtimew 
OwO Heiw to x3 the crown? 
:3 Nyowth. >w< He ^.^ did; mysewf uWu did hear :3 it. 
^w^ Hot. Nyay, xDD then UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu bwame :33 his xDD cousin OwO king, 
:33 That >w< wish'd ^.^ him on x3 the ^-^ bawwen ^-^ mountains >w< stawve. 
OwO But UwU shaww >w< it be :3 that UwU you, :3 that uWu set x3 the >_< cwown 
>_> Upon x3 the >_> head of ÚwÚ this xDD fowgetfuw ^w^ man, 
xDD And fow :33 his ÚwÚ sake ^-^ weaw x3 the :3 detested uWu bwot 
Of ^w^ muwthewous subornation- UwU shaww >w< it be 
:33 That xDD you :3 a wowwd of cuwses ^-^ undewgo, 
uWu Being x3 the ^-^ agents ow UwU base second >_< means, 
uWu The ^-^ cowds, x3 the waddew, ow x3 the ;;w;; hangman >w< wathew? 
>_< O, UwU pawdon ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I descend UwU so wow 
;;w;; To x3 show x3 the winye ÚwÚ and x3 the pwedicament 
^-^ Whewein xDD you ^-^ wange :33 undew ÚwÚ this >_< subtiwe x3 king! 
Shall >w< it fow ^-^ shame be >w< spoken uWu in these uWu days, 
:33 Ow ^w^ fiww x3 up >w< chwonyicwes uWu in time to come, 
:33 That ;;w;; men of x3 youw >_> nyobiwity ÚwÚ and powew 
Did >w< gage them both uWu in >w< an :33 unjust behawf 
xDD (As both of UwU you, ^w^ God UwU pawdon :3 it! uWu have done) 
;;w;; To put down ^.^ Wichawd, :3 that x3 sweet lovely rose, 
xDD And plant ÚwÚ this thorn, ÚwÚ this ;;w;; cankew, Bolingbroke? 
xDD And UwU shaww >w< it uWu in ^.^ mowe ^-^ shame be further >w< spoken 
:33 That xDD you OwO awe ^-^ foow'd, discawded, ÚwÚ and >_> shook x3 off 
^-^ By ^.^ him fow ÚwÚ whom these UwU shames OwO ye ^-^ undewwent? 
Nyo! yet time sewves wherein xDD you OwO may xDD wedeem 
uWu Youw banyish'd honyouws ÚwÚ and restore youwsewves 
^.^ Into x3 the ÚwÚ good >_< thoughts of x3 the wowwd again; 
xDD Wevenge x3 the jeering ÚwÚ and ;;w;; disdain'd x3 contempt 
Of ÚwÚ this OwO pwoud OwO king, who x3 studies day ÚwÚ and >w< nyight 
;;w;; To answew aww x3 the >_> debt ^.^ he >_> owes to xDD you 
Even with x3 the bwoody payment of x3 youw deaths. 
Therefore UwU I UwU say- 
Wor. uWu Peace, OwO cousin, >_> say nyo mowe; 
xDD And now, UwU I xDD wiww :3 uncwasp :3 a secret ^-^ book, 
xDD And to x3 youw quick-conceiving discontents 
I'll ^w^ wead xDD you ;;w;; mattew >_> deep ÚwÚ and UwU dangewous, 
;;w;; As full of peril ÚwÚ and xDD adventuwous ^w^ spiwit 
;;w;; As to o'erwalk :3 a :3 cuwwent xDD woawing ÚwÚ woud 
On x3 the xDD unsteadfast footing of :3 a uWu speaw. 
^w^ Hot. ;;w;; If ^.^ he faww x3 in, ÚwÚ good night, ow sink ow x3 swim! 
>_< Send danger from x3 the uWu east >w< unto x3 the ^-^ west, 
^w^ So honour OwO cwoss >w< it from x3 the ^.^ nyowth to :3 south, 
xDD And wet them grapple. >_< O, x3 the :3 bwood ^.^ mowe stiws 
;;w;; To wouse :3 a wion than to start :3 a ÚwÚ hawe! 
:3 Nyowth. Imagination of x3 some great ^.^ expwoit 
Drives ^.^ him ^w^ beyond x3 the bounds of OwO patience. 
^w^ Hot. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, uWu methinks >w< it :3 wewe >w< an ^w^ easy ^-^ weap 
;;w;; To pluck uWu bwight honour from x3 the pawe-fac'd ;;w;; moon, 
:33 Ow ^w^ dive x3 into x3 the :3 bottom of x3 the >w< deep, 
Whewe >w< fadom winye couwd >_< nyevew :33 touch x3 the ground, 
xDD And pluck x3 up drowned honour ^.^ by x3 the locks, 
^w^ So ^.^ he :3 that xDD doth xDD wedeem her thence ^w^ might ^-^ weaw 
Without cowwivaw aww her >_< dignyities; 
OwO But x3 out ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this >_> hawf-fac'd x3 fewwowship! 
Wor. >w< He appwehends :3 a wowwd of figuwes UwU hewe, 
OwO But nyot x3 the >_< fowm of >_> what ^.^ he >_> shouwd xDD attend. 
^-^ Good OwO cousin, UwU give ;;w;; me audience fow :3 a >_> whiwe. 
^w^ Hot. UwU I cwy xDD you mercy. 
Wor. >w< Those same x3 nyobwe x3 Scots 
:33 That OwO awe x3 youw ^w^ pwisonyews- 
^w^ Hot. I'll >_< keep them all. 
^-^ By :33 God, ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot uWu have :3 a OwO Scot of >w< them! 
:3 Nyo, >_> if :3 a OwO Scot ^.^ wouwd :3 save :33 his x3 souw, ^.^ he UwU shaww not. 
I'll >_< keep ÚwÚ them, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this xDD hand! 
Wor. >_> You start xDD away. 
xDD And xDD wend nyo ear >w< unto x3 my purposes. 
>w< Those OwO pwisonyews xDD you UwU shaww keep. 
^w^ Hot. Nyay, UwU I will! :33 That >_> is :33 fwat! 
>w< He uWu said ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot wansom Mortimer, 
:3 Fowbade x3 my >_> tongue to speak of Mortimer, 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww find ^.^ him when ^.^ he wies ^-^ asweep, 
xDD And uWu in :33 his ear I'll uWu howwoa 'Mowtimew.' 
Nyay; 
I'll uWu have :3 a starling UwU shaww be ÚwÚ taught to speak 
Nyothing >_> but UwU 'Mowtimew,' ÚwÚ and UwU give >w< it ^.^ him 
;;w;; To >_< keep :33 his ÚwÚ angew still uWu in ;;w;; motion. 
Wor. >w< Heaw UwU you, OwO cousin, :3 a OwO wowd. 
^w^ Hot. All x3 studies OwO hewe UwU I OwO sowemnwy ^.^ defy 
:3 Save >w< how to ^.^ gaww ÚwÚ and pinch ÚwÚ this ^-^ Bowingbwoke; 
xDD And :3 that same ^w^ swowd-and-buckwew Prince of Wales- 
OwO But :3 that UwU I think :33 his >w< fathew loves ^.^ him nyot 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd be uWu gwad ^.^ he >w< met with x3 some uWu mischance, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ him x3 poisonyed with :3 a >_> pot of x3 awe. 
Wor. UwU Faweweww, kinsman. UwU I xDD wiww tawk to xDD you 
x3 When xDD you OwO awe xDD bettew tempew'd to xDD attend. 
:3 Nyowth. Why, >_> what :3 a xDD wasp-stung ÚwÚ and ;;w;; impatient >w< foow 
Awt xDD thou to bweak x3 into ÚwÚ this xDD woman's :3 mood, 
uWu Tying ^.^ thinye ear to nyo >_> tongue >_> but ^.^ thinye :33 own! 
^w^ Hot. Why, wook UwU you, UwU I ^w^ am whipp'd ÚwÚ and scourg'd with rods, 
^w^ Nyettwed, ÚwÚ and OwO stung with pismires when UwU I hear 
Of ÚwÚ this ^-^ viwe xDD powitician, ^.^ Bowingbwoke. 
^w^ In >w< Wichawd's ÚwÚ time- >_> what UwU do xDD you caww x3 the :3 pwace- 
^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon :3 it! >w< it >_> is uWu in UwU GIoucestewshiwe- 
>_< 'Twas :3 whewe x3 the UwU madcap >w< Duke :33 his :33 uncwe uWu kept- 
ÚwÚ His :33 uncwe York- :3 whewe UwU I xDD fiwst uWu bow'd x3 my knyee 
uWu Unto ÚwÚ this x3 king of >_> smiwes, ÚwÚ this ^-^ Bowingbwoke- 
OwO 'S UwU bwood! 
x3 When xDD you ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ^-^ came back from >_> Wavenspuwgh- 
:3 Nyowth. At ^.^ Bewkewey UwU Castwe. 
^w^ Hot. >_> You >_> say true. 
Why, >_> what :3 a candy deal of >w< couwtesy 
This uWu fawnying gweyhound xDD then uWu did x3 pwoffew me! 
x3 Wook, 'when :33 his xDD infant :3 fowtunye ^-^ came to :3 age,' 
xDD And :33 'gentwe ÚwÚ Hawwy :33 Pewcy,' ÚwÚ and ^-^ 'kind >_> cousin'- 
>_< O, x3 the ^.^ deviw OwO take xDD such :33 cozenyews!- ^w^ God :33 fowgive me! 
^-^ Good uWu uncwe, tell x3 youw :33 tawe, fow UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. 
Wor. Nyay, >_> if xDD you uWu have >_> nyot, to >w< it ;;w;; again. 
We xDD wiww xDD stay x3 youw xDD weisuwe. 
^w^ Hot. UwU I uWu have :33 donye, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
Wor. UwU Then >_> once ^.^ mowe to x3 youw ^.^ Scottish pwisonyews. 
Deliver them x3 up ^-^ without uWu theiw wansom stwaight, 
xDD And >_< make x3 the Dougwas' >_< son x3 youw >w< onwy >_> mean 
For ÚwÚ powews ^w^ In Scotwand; ^w^ which, fow divers weasons 
>_< Which UwU I UwU shaww >_> send xDD you written, be x3 assuw'd 
Will easily be gwanted. :33 [To Northumberland] >_< You, x3 my uWu wowd, 
uWu Youw >_< son uWu in :3 Scotwand ^.^ being OwO thus >w< empwoy'd, 
Shall secwetwy x3 into x3 the ^w^ bosom :3 cweep 
Of :3 that same x3 nyobwe prelate :3 weww-bewov'd, 
uWu The Archbishop. 
^w^ Hot. Of York, >_> is >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
Wor. ^w^ Twue; who bears x3 hawd 
ÚwÚ His brother's :33 death uWu at OwO Bwistow, x3 the Lord Scroop. 
UwU I speak nyot ÚwÚ this uWu in ^w^ estimation, 
;;w;; As >_> what UwU I think ^w^ might be, >_> but >_> what UwU I ^.^ knyow 
Is ;;w;; wuminyated, ^w^ pwotted, ÚwÚ and uWu set ;;w;; down, 
xDD And >w< onwy uWu stays >_> but to behowd x3 the OwO face 
Of :3 that ;;w;; occasion :3 that UwU shaww ;;w;; bwing >w< it :3 on. 
^w^ Hot. UwU I smell :3 it. >_> Upon x3 my :3 wife, >w< it xDD wiww UwU do well. 
:3 Nyowth. ^.^ Befowe x3 the game >_> is afoot xDD thou still ÚwÚ wet'st UwU swip. 
^w^ Hot. Why, >w< it ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but be :3 a x3 nyobwe ;;w;; pwot. 
xDD And xDD then x3 the powew of :3 Scotwand ÚwÚ and of York 
;;w;; To ^w^ join with Mortimer, ^.^ ha? 
Wor. xDD And UwU so ;;w;; they >_< shaww. 
^w^ Hot. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, >w< it >_> is exceedingwy weww ;;w;; aim'd. 
Wor. xDD And UwU 'tis nyo xDD wittwe reason UwU bids >_> us speed, 
;;w;; To :3 save UwU ouw heads ^.^ by uWu waising of :3 a head; 
For, UwU beaw ouwsewves >_< as even >_< as ^.^ we ^-^ can, 
uWu The ^w^ King xDD wiww awways think ^.^ him uWu in UwU ouw ^.^ debt, 
xDD And think ^.^ we think ouwsewves >_< unsatisfied, 
Tiww ^.^ he hath >_> found :3 a time to x3 pay >_> us >_> home. 
xDD And >_> see xDD awweady >w< how ^.^ he xDD doth x3 begin 
;;w;; To >_< make >_> us stwangews to :33 his :33 wooks of love. 
^w^ Hot. >w< He >w< does, ^.^ he does! ^-^ We'ww be ^w^ weveng'd on ^.^ him. 
Wor. Cousin, farewell. No further OwO go uWu in ÚwÚ this 
Than UwU I ^.^ by x3 wettews UwU shaww direct x3 youw course. 
x3 When time >_> is xDD wipe, which xDD wiww be suddenly, 
I'll ^.^ steaw to ;;w;; Gwendowew ÚwÚ and Lord Mortimer, 
Whewe xDD you ÚwÚ and Dougwas, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw pow'rs uWu at ^w^ once, 
;;w;; As UwU I xDD wiww fashion :33 it, UwU shaww happily ^w^ meet, 
;;w;; To UwU beaw UwU ouw fowtunyes uWu in UwU ouw UwU own >w< stwong awms, 
>_< Which nyow ^.^ we howd uWu at much x3 uncewtainty. 
:3 Nyowth. UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good ^-^ bwothew. We UwU shaww thwive, UwU I :33 twust. 
^w^ Hot. >_> Uncwe, ^w^ adieu. >_< O, wet x3 the >_> houws be showt 
Tiww fields ÚwÚ and ^w^ bwows ÚwÚ and groans appwaud UwU ouw :33 spowt! :33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT UwU II. Scene ^.^ I. 
Rochester. ^-^ An inn >_< yawd. 

Entew :3 a Cawwiew with :3 a lantern uWu in :33 his >w< hand. 

:3 1. OwO Caw. Heigh-ho! >w< an >w< it be nyot fouw ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ day, I'll be xDD hang'd. 
x3 Chawwes' xDD wain >_> is uvw x3 the x3 nyew uWu chimnyey, ÚwÚ and yet UwU ouw UwU howse nyot 
pack'd.- What, ostler! 
;;w;; Ost. >_> [within] ;;w;; Anyon, x3 anyon. 
:3 1. OwO Caw. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, xDD Tom, xDD beat ÚwÚ Cut's >_> saddwe, put :3 a x3 few flocks uWu in x3 the 
point. OwO Poow uWu jade >_> is x3 wwung uWu in x3 the OwO withews x3 out of aww cess. 

Entew anyothew :33 Cawwiew. 

uWu 2. OwO Caw. >_< Peas ÚwÚ and >_< beans OwO awe >_< as dank OwO hewe >_< as :3 a dog, ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> is x3 the 
:3 nyext uWu way to UwU give poor x3 jades x3 the bots. This ;;w;; house >_> is turned ;;w;; upside 
down xDD since Wobin Ostler ÚwÚ died. 
:3 1. OwO Caw. OwO Poow fewwow >_< nyevew ^.^ joyed xDD since x3 the pwice of oats uWu wose. ^.^ It 
UwU was x3 the :33 death of ^.^ him. 
uWu 2. OwO Caw. UwU I think ÚwÚ this be x3 the UwU most villanous ;;w;; house uWu in aww ;;w;; Wondon woad 
fow fleas. UwU I ^w^ am OwO stung ^.^ wike :3 a tench. 
:3 1. OwO Caw. Wike :3 a xDD tench UwU I ^-^ By x3 the UwU mass, there >_> is ^w^ nye'ew :3 a x3 king chwisten 
couwd be xDD bettew xDD bit than UwU I uWu have :33 been xDD since x3 the xDD fiwst ^.^ cock. 
uWu 2. OwO Caw. Why, ;;w;; they xDD wiww UwU awwow >_> us ^w^ nye'ew :3 a :33 jowdan, ÚwÚ and xDD then ^.^ we xDD weak uWu in 
x3 youw uWu chimnyey, ÚwÚ and x3 youw chamber-lye breeds fleas ^.^ wike :3 a loach. 
:3 1. OwO Caw. What, ostler! come OwO away ÚwÚ and be hang'd! come away! 
uWu 2. OwO Caw. UwU I uWu have :3 a >_< gammon of :33 bacon ÚwÚ and >w< two wazes of :3 gingew, to be 
^-^ dewivewed >_< as uWu faw >_< as >_> Chawing Cross. 
:3 1. OwO Caw. >_> God's :3 body! x3 the turkeys uWu in x3 my x3 pannyiew OwO awe quite UwU stawved. 
What, ostler! ^-^ A pwague on uWu thee! x3 hast xDD thou >_< nyevew >w< an ^w^ eye uWu in >w< thy 
head? ÚwÚ Canst nyot UwU heaw? ^-^ An >w< 'twewe nyot >_< as ÚwÚ good ^.^ deed >_< as ÚwÚ dwink to 
bweak x3 the OwO pate on ÚwÚ thee, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a xDD vewy villain. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ and be hang'd! 
Hast nyo :33 faith uWu in thee? 

Entew :33 Gadshiww. 

xDD Gads. ^-^ Good morrow, ^-^ cawwiews. x3 What's >_< o'cwock? 
:3 1. OwO Caw. UwU I think >w< it be >w< two OwO o'cwock. 
xDD Gads. UwU I :33 pwithee xDD wend ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this lantern to >_> see x3 my gewding uWu in x3 the 
:3 stabwe. 
:3 1. OwO Caw. Nyay, ^.^ by :33 God, xDD soft! UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 a twick ^.^ wowth >w< two of :3 that, 
:33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
xDD Gads. UwU I pray uWu thee xDD wend ;;w;; me ÚwÚ thinye. 
uWu 2. OwO Caw. Ay, xDD when? ;;w;; canst teww? uWu Wend ;;w;; me >w< thy wantewn, quoth uWu he? OwO Mawwy, 
I'll >_> see uWu thee :33 hang'd fiwst! 
xDD Gads. ^w^ Siwwah carrier, >_> what time UwU do xDD you >_> mean to come to >_< Wondon? 
uWu 2. OwO Caw. ^-^ Time enough to OwO go to x3 bed with :3 a ÚwÚ candwe, UwU I :33 wawwant thee. 
^.^ Come, OwO nyeighbouw ^-^ Mugs, we'll caww x3 up x3 the >_< gentwemen. ^-^ They xDD wiww 
:3 awong with xDD company, fow ;;w;; they uWu have great chawge. 
Exeunt [Carriers]. 
xDD Gads. What, ho! uWu chambewwain! 

Entew Chamberlain. 

Cham. At uWu hand, quoth pickpuwse. 
xDD Gads. >w< That's even >_< as >w< faiw OwO as- 'at uWu hand, quoth x3 the UwU chambewwain'; fow 
xDD thou x3 vawiest nyo ^.^ mowe from :33 picking of purses than ^.^ giving ÚwÚ diwection 
xDD doth from labouring: xDD thou ;;w;; wayest x3 the :3 pwot ^.^ how. 
Cham. ^-^ Good morrow, >_< Mastew :33 Gadshiww. ^.^ It ÚwÚ howds :3 cuwwent :3 that UwU I told 
xDD you x3 yestewnyight. >_> Thewe's :3 a ^w^ fwankwin uWu in x3 the Wild of Kent hath 
^.^ bwought >w< thwee :3 hundwed >w< mawks with ^.^ him uWu in ;;w;; gowd. UwU I heard ^.^ him tell >w< it 
to one of :33 his >_< company >w< wast >w< nyight uWu at xDD suppew- :3 a uWu kind of >_> auditow; 
one :3 that hath abundance of :3 chawge :3 too, ^w^ God xDD knyows what. ^-^ They OwO awe 
x3 up xDD awweady ÚwÚ and caww fow ^.^ eggs ÚwÚ and >_> buttew. ^-^ They xDD wiww OwO away 
presently. 
xDD Gads. Siwwah, >_> if ;;w;; they :3 meet nyot with Saint Nyichowas' xDD cwewks, I'll 
UwU give uWu thee ÚwÚ this ;;w;; nyeck. 
Cham. :3 Nyo, I'll >_< nyonye of :3 it. UwU I pray uWu thee >_< keep :3 that fow x3 the :3 hangman; 
fow UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou >w< wowshippest Saint uWu Nyichowas >_< as :33 twuwy >_< as :3 a x3 man of 
UwU fawsehood may. 
xDD Gads. >_> What talkest xDD thou to ;;w;; me of x3 the ;;w;; hangman? ;;w;; If UwU I uWu hang, I'll >_< make 
:3 a :33 fat :33 paiw of gallows; fow >_> if UwU I uWu hang, ;;w;; owd Sir John uWu hangs with uWu me, 
ÚwÚ and xDD thou knowest ^.^ he >_> is nyo ^.^ stawvewing. Tut! there OwO awe othew 
Twoyans :3 that xDD thou UwU dweam'st nyot :33 of, x3 the which fow spowt ÚwÚ sake OwO awe 
:3 content to UwU do x3 the pwofession x3 some >w< gwace; :3 that ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ (if uWu mattews 
>_> shouwd be >_> wook'd >_> into) fow uWu theiw UwU own cwedit ÚwÚ sake >_< make aww ^-^ whowe. 
UwU I ^w^ am joined with nyo :33 foot ^w^ wand-wakews, nyo ^w^ wong-staff xDD sixpenny 
^-^ stwikews, >_< nyonye of these ^-^ mad ^w^ mustachio :3 puwpwe-hued OwO mawtwowms; >_> but 
with nobility, ÚwÚ and :33 twanquiwwity, buwgomastews ÚwÚ and great x3 onyeyews, 
xDD such >_< as ^.^ can howd x3 in, xDD such >_< as xDD wiww strike :33 soonyew than :3 speak, ÚwÚ and 
speak :33 soonyew than dwink, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dwink :33 soonyew than ^w^ pway; ÚwÚ and ^w^ yet, 
>_< zounds, UwU I wie; fow ;;w;; they pray OwO continyuawwy to uWu theiw UwU saint, x3 the 
commonwealth, ow UwU wathew, nyot pray to hew, >_> but prey on hew, fow 
;;w;; they uWu wide x3 up ÚwÚ and down on her ÚwÚ and >_< make her uWu theiw uWu boots. 
Cham. What, x3 the >_> commonweawth uWu theiw >_> boots? Will ^.^ she howd x3 out UwU watew 
uWu in fouw >w< way? 
xDD Gads. :33 She :33 wiww, ^.^ she will! Justice hath >_< wiquow'd her. We ^.^ steaw >_< as uWu in 
:3 a UwU castwe, :3 cocksuwe. We uWu have x3 the :33 weceipt of ^w^ fewnseed, ^.^ we UwU wawk 
:33 invisibwe. 
Cham. Nyay, ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ faith, UwU I think xDD you OwO awe ^.^ mowe beholding to x3 the >w< nyight 
than to fernseed fow x3 youw ^.^ wawking :33 invisibwe. 
xDD Gads. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. ^.^ Thou shalt uWu have :3 a share uWu in UwU ouw purchase, >_< as 
UwU I ÚwÚ and :3 a true man. 
Cham. Nyay, rather wet ;;w;; me uWu have :33 it, >_< as xDD you OwO awe :3 a UwU fawse >w< thief. 
xDD Gads. Go >w< to; 'homo' >_> is :3 a ^w^ common xDD nyame to aww ^.^ men. x3 Bid x3 the >w< ostwew 
;;w;; bwing x3 my gewding x3 out of x3 the :3 stabwe. UwU Faweweww, xDD you >_> muddy knave. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
uWu The highway nyeaw :33 Gadshiww. 

Entew Prince ÚwÚ and UwU Poins. 

UwU Poins. ^.^ Come, shewtew, shelter! UwU I uWu have >w< wemov'd Falstaff's horse, ÚwÚ and 
^.^ he ^.^ fwets ^.^ wike :3 a :3 gumm'd uWu vewvet. 
UwU Pwince. ;;w;; Stand uWu cwose. ^w^ [They :33 step :3 aside.] 

Entew >w< Fawstaff. 

Faw. xDD Poins! x3 Poins, ÚwÚ and be hang'd! xDD Poins! 
UwU Pwince. UwU I x3 comes forward UwU I uWu Peace, OwO ye >_> fat-kidnyey'd rascal! >_> What :3 a 
brawling dost xDD thou ^.^ keep! 
Faw. :3 Whewe's x3 Poins, OwO Haw? 
UwU Pwince. >w< He >_> is wawk'd x3 up to x3 the ;;w;; top of x3 the hiww. I'll OwO go >_> seek ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ [Steps :3 aside.] 
Faw. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ accuws'd to rob uWu in :3 that ÚwÚ thief's UwU company. uWu The wascaw hath 
removed x3 my UwU howse ÚwÚ and tied ^.^ him UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot x3 whewe. ;;w;; If UwU I travel >_> but 
fouw :33 foot ^.^ by x3 the squire further afoot, UwU I UwU shaww bweak x3 my ^.^ wind. 
xDD Weww, UwU I doubt nyot >_> but to ^-^ die :3 a >w< faiw :33 death fow aww uWu this, >_> if UwU I 
;;w;; scape >_< hanging fow UwU kiwwing :3 that wogue. UwU I uWu have ;;w;; fowswown :33 his >_< company 
hourly xDD any time ÚwÚ this ^.^ two-and-twenty years, ÚwÚ and yet UwU I ^w^ am bewitch'd 
with x3 the wogue's UwU company. ;;w;; If x3 the wascaw uWu have nyot UwU given ;;w;; me 
:33 medicinyes to >_< make ;;w;; me wuv :3 him, I'll be xDD hang'd. ^.^ It couwd nyot be 
ewse. UwU I uWu have UwU dwunk ;;w;; medicinyes. xDD Poins! :3 Haw! ^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon xDD you UwU both! 
Bawdowph! OwO Peto! I'll starve ere I'll rob :3 a :33 foot fuwthew. ^-^ An 
>w< 'twewe nyot >_< as ÚwÚ good :3 a ^.^ deed >_< as ÚwÚ dwink to turn true x3 man ÚwÚ and to OwO weave 
these ;;w;; wogues, UwU I ^w^ am x3 the >_> vewiest vawwet :3 that OwO evew uWu chewed with :3 a 
xDD tooth. ÚwÚ Eight ^.^ yawds of unyeven x3 gwound >_> is threescore ÚwÚ and ;;w;; ten >_< miwes 
afoot with uWu me, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< stony-heawted x3 viwwains ^.^ knyow >w< it weww 
enyough. ^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon >w< it when thieves ;;w;; cannyot be true one to 
x3 anyothew! >_< (They whistle.) >w< Whew! ^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon xDD you :33 aww! Give ;;w;; me x3 my 
horse, xDD you wogues! UwU give ;;w;; me x3 my UwU howse ÚwÚ and be hang'd! 
UwU Pwince. ;;w;; [comes forward] uWu Peace, OwO ye fat-guts! Lie ;;w;; down, uWu way ^.^ thinye ear 
^-^ cwose to x3 the ground, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wist >_> if xDD thou ;;w;; canst hear x3 the ;;w;; twead of 
xDD twavewwews. 
Faw. :3 Have xDD you xDD any :3 wevews to lift ;;w;; me x3 up OwO again, ^.^ being down? ^-^ 'Sbwood, 
I'll nyot UwU beaw >_< minye UwU own >w< fwesh UwU so uWu faw afoot again fow aww x3 the ^-^ coin 
uWu in >w< thy father's >_< exchequew. >_> What :3 a pwague >_> mean OwO ye to uWu cowt ;;w;; me >_< thus? 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ Thou ^w^ wiest; xDD thou awt nyot cowted, xDD thou awt uWu uncowted. 
Faw. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ÚwÚ good Prince Hal, OwO hewp ;;w;; me to x3 my horse, ÚwÚ good >_< king's 
OwO son. 
UwU Pwince. Out, OwO ye UwU wogue! Shall UwU I be x3 youw OwO ostwew? 
Faw. Go ^w^ hang >w< thysewf uWu in ^.^ thinye UwU own heir-apparent >w< gawtews! ;;w;; If UwU I be 
x3 ta'en, I'll ^-^ peach fow UwU this. ^-^ An UwU I uWu have nyot uWu bawwads UwU made on xDD you 
all, ÚwÚ and sung to :33 fiwthy >w< tunyes, wet :3 a >w< cup of ^-^ sack be x3 my poison. 
x3 When :3 a xDD jest >_> is UwU so fowwawd- ÚwÚ and afoot UwU too- UwU I ^-^ hate :3 it. 

Entew xDD Gadshiww, [Bawdowph ÚwÚ and ^-^ Peto with ;;w;; him]. 

xDD Gads. :3 Stand! 
Faw. ^w^ So UwU I UwU do, OwO against x3 my :33 wiww. 
UwU Poins. ;;w;; [comes >_< fowtwawd] >_< O, UwU 'tis UwU ouw setter. UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his voice. 
xDD Bawdowph, >_> what nyews? 
>_> Baw. UwU Case :3 ye, case ;;w;; ye! On with x3 youw ;;w;; vizawds! >_> Thewe's monyey of x3 the 
>_< King's xDD coming down x3 the ^w^ hiww; UwU 'tis x3 going to x3 the >_< King's >_< exchequew. 
Faw. >_> You wie, OwO ye UwU wogue! 'Tis x3 going to x3 the >_< King's tavewn. 
xDD Gads. >_> Thewe's enough to >_< make >_> us all. 
Faw. ;;w;; To be xDD hang'd. 
UwU Pwince. uWu Siws, xDD you fouw UwU shaww >w< fwont them uWu in x3 the nyawwow lane; Nyed 
^-^ Poins ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww UwU wawk x3 wowew. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they ;;w;; scape from x3 youw encountew, 
xDD then ;;w;; they >w< wight on >_> us. 
^w^ Peto. How UwU many be there of them? 
xDD Gads. ;;w;; Some eight ow ;;w;; ten. 
Faw. Zounds, xDD wiww ;;w;; they nyot rob us? 
UwU Pwince. What, :3 a xDD cowawd, Sir John ^-^ Paunch? 
Faw. >w< Indeed, UwU I ^w^ am nyot John of Gaunt, x3 youw gwandfathew; >_> but yet nyo 
xDD cowawd, >_< Haw. 
UwU Pwince. xDD Weww, ^.^ we OwO weave :3 that to x3 the :33 pwoof. 
UwU Poins. ^w^ Siwwah Jack, >w< thy UwU howse >w< stands x3 behind x3 the xDD hedge. x3 When xDD thou 
uWu nyeed'st :3 him, there xDD thou shalt find ^.^ him. UwU Faweweww ÚwÚ and stand uWu fast. 
Faw. Now ;;w;; cannyot UwU I strike :3 him, >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd be xDD hang'd. 
UwU Pwince. ÚwÚ [aside to ÚwÚ Poins] >_> Nyed, :3 whewe OwO awe UwU ouw disguises? 
UwU Poins. ÚwÚ [aside to Prince] Here, x3 hawd by. ;;w;; Stand uWu cwose. 
UwU [Exeunt Prince ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Poins.] 
Faw. >_> Nyow, x3 my mastews, ^w^ happy x3 man be :33 his ÚwÚ dowe, >_> say ^.^ I. Evewy x3 man to 
:33 his business. 

Entew x3 the Twavewwews. 

Traveller. ^.^ Come, UwU nyeighbouw. 
uWu The ;;w;; boy UwU shaww lead UwU ouw :3 howses down x3 the ^w^ hiww; 
^-^ We'ww UwU wawk afoot ^-^ awhiwe ÚwÚ and ^w^ ease UwU ouw wegs. 
ÚwÚ Thieves. :3 Stand! 
Traveller. x3 Jesus ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ us! 
Faw. Strike! down with >w< them! :3 cut x3 the :33 viwwains' throats! xDD Ah, 
UwU whoweson caterpillars! ^w^ bacon-fed :33 knyaves! ;;w;; they ^-^ hate >_> us >_< youth. xDD Down 
with >w< them! fweece >w< them! 
Traveller. >_< O, ^.^ we OwO awe >_< undonye, both ^.^ we ÚwÚ and ouws fow evew! 
Faw. Hang :3 ye, uWu gowbewwied knaves, OwO awe OwO ye ÚwÚ undonye? :3 Nyo, OwO ye :33 fat :3 chuffs; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw OwO stowe :3 wewe here! ÚwÚ On, :33 bacons on! What, OwO ye :33 knyaves! 
xDD young ;;w;; men ^w^ must wive. >_> You OwO awe OwO gwandjuwows, OwO awe uWu ye? ^-^ We'ww >_< juwe :3 ye, 
>_< faith! 
:3 Hewe ;;w;; they rob ÚwÚ and bind OwO them. :33 Exeunt. 

Entew x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and ^-^ Poins :33 [in OwO buckwam >_< suits]. 

UwU Pwince. uWu The thieves uWu have bound x3 the true ^.^ men. Now couwd xDD thou ÚwÚ and UwU I 
rob x3 the thieves ÚwÚ and OwO go ÚwÚ mewwiwy to Wondon, >w< it ^.^ wouwd be :33 awgument 
fow :3 a ;;w;; week, :33 waughtew fow :3 a ;;w;; month, ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ good xDD jest fow ever. 
UwU Poins. ;;w;; Stand close! UwU I hear them :3 coming. 
^w^ [They stand :3 aside.] 

Entew x3 the Thieves ;;w;; again. 

Faw. ^.^ Come, x3 my mastews, wet >_> us UwU shawe, ÚwÚ and xDD then to UwU howse >w< befowe x3 day. 
^-^ An x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and ^-^ Poins be nyot >w< two uWu awwant x3 cowawds, there's nyo 
equity ;;w;; stiwwing. >_> Thewe's nyo ^.^ mowe valour uWu in :3 that ^-^ Poins than uWu in :3 a 
>w< wiwd :3 duck. 

xDD [As ;;w;; they OwO awe >_> shawing, x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and ^-^ Poins uWu set ;;w;; upon 
OwO them. ÚwÚ THey aww >w< wun away, ÚwÚ and :33 Fawstaff, ÚwÚ aftew :3 a ^w^ bwow ow 
>_> two, wuns *cuddles you* awasy :3 too, xDD weaving x3 the ;;w;; booty x3 behind ^.^ them.] 

UwU Pwince. uWu Youw uWu monyey! 
UwU Poins. ^-^ Viwwains! 

UwU Pwince. Got with much ^w^ ease. Now ÚwÚ mewwiwy to horse. 
uWu The thieves OwO awe scattewed, ÚwÚ and >_< possess'd with feaw 
^w^ So >_< stwongwy :3 that ;;w;; they dawe nyot :3 meet >_< each :3 othew. 
x3 Each UwU takes :33 his fewwow fow >w< an officer. 
:33 Away, ÚwÚ good Nyed. Falstaff sweats to :33 death 
xDD And x3 wawds x3 the lean ^.^ eawth >_< as ^.^ he >w< wawks >_> awong. 
^w^ Wewe't nyot fow xDD waughing, UwU I >_> shouwd pity ^.^ him. 
UwU Poins. How x3 the ;;w;; wogue woaw'd! :33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
>_> Wawkwowth UwU Castwe. 

Entew >_> Hotspuw >_> sowus, weading :3 a >_> wettew. 

^w^ Hot. >_> 'But, fow >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I couwd be weww UwU contented to 
be thewe, uWu in wespect of x3 the wuv UwU I UwU beaw x3 youw uWu house.' >w< He couwd be 
xDD contented- >w< why >_> is ^.^ he nyot ^w^ then? ^w^ In wespect of x3 the wuv ^.^ he bears 
UwU ouw house! >w< He >_< shows uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ he loves :33 his UwU own barn xDD bettew than ^.^ he 
loves UwU ouw ÚwÚ house. Let ;;w;; me >_> see x3 some more. 'The OwO puwpose xDD you undewtake 
>_> is ^.^ dangewous'- Why, ^w^ that's >_< cewtain! 'Tis uWu dangewous to OwO take :3 a 
>_< cowd, to sweep, to ;;w;; dwink; >_> but UwU I tell UwU you, x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 foow, x3 out of 
ÚwÚ this xDD nyettwe, uWu dangew, ^.^ we pluck ÚwÚ this x3 fwowew, >w< safety. 'The OwO puwpose 
xDD you undewtake >_> is UwU dangewous, x3 the ^w^ fwiends xDD you uWu have named ^.^ uncewtain, 
x3 the time itsewf UwU unsowted, ÚwÚ and x3 youw whole :3 pwot ^w^ too >w< wight fow x3 the 
counterpoise of UwU so great >w< an opposition.' x3 Say xDD you >_> so, >_> say xDD you so? 
UwU I >_> say >w< unto xDD you OwO again, xDD you OwO awe :3 a ^w^ shawwow, >w< cowawdwy >w< hind, ÚwÚ and xDD you 
xDD wie. >_> What :3 a UwU wack-bwain >_> is x3 this! ^-^ By x3 the Wowd, UwU ouw :3 pwot >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good 
:3 pwot >_< as OwO evew UwU was laid; UwU ouw ^w^ fwiends true ÚwÚ and uWu constant: :3 a ÚwÚ good 
>_> pwot, ÚwÚ good OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and full of xDD expectation; >w< an :3 excewwent >_> pwot, 
xDD vewy ÚwÚ good fwiends. >_> What :3 a fwosty-spiwited ;;w;; wogue >_> is x3 this! Why, x3 my 
Lord of York uWu commends x3 the :3 pwot ÚwÚ and x3 the general course of x3 the 
OwO action. Zounds, >w< an UwU I :3 wewe nyow ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ^.^ wascaw, UwU I couwd :3 bwain ^.^ him 
with :33 his >_> wady's OwO fan. Is there nyot x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, x3 my uWu uncwe, ÚwÚ and 
>_< mysewf; Lord Edmund Mortimer, x3 my Lord of York, ÚwÚ and OwO Owen 
Gwendowew? Is there >_> nyot, >_< besides, x3 the >w< Dougwas? :3 Have UwU I nyot aww 
uWu theiw x3 wettews to :3 meet ;;w;; me uWu in :3 awms ^.^ by x3 the :3 nyinth of x3 the :3 nyext ;;w;; month, 
ÚwÚ and OwO awe ;;w;; they nyot x3 some of them uWu set forward ÚwÚ awweady? >_> What :3 a :33 pagan 
wascaw >_> is x3 this! >w< an infidel! uWu Ha! xDD you UwU shaww >_> see now, uWu in xDD vewy 
^w^ sincewity of feaw ÚwÚ and UwU cowd >_< heawt xDD wiww ^.^ he to x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and uWu way open 
aww UwU ouw OwO pwoceedings. >_< O, UwU I couwd OwO divide mysewf ÚwÚ and OwO go to ^w^ buffets 
fow >w< moving xDD such :3 a ^w^ dish of ^.^ skim milk with UwU so ^.^ honyouwabwe >w< an uWu action! 
Hang :3 him, wet ^.^ him tell x3 the King! ^.^ we OwO awe prepared. UwU I xDD wiww uWu set 
forward to-night. 

Entew :33 his ^-^ Wady. 

How now, Kate? UwU I ^w^ must OwO weave xDD you within these >w< two hours. 
^-^ Wady. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, >w< why OwO awe xDD you OwO thus awonye? 
For >_> what offence uWu have UwU I ÚwÚ this fortnight :33 been 
^-^ A banyish'd OwO woman from x3 my Harry's ^.^ bed, 
Teww uWu me, x3 sweet uWu wowd, >_> what :3 is't :3 that UwU takes from uWu thee 
x3 Thy ^w^ stomach, x3 pweasuwe, ÚwÚ and >w< thy golden ^w^ sweep? 
Why dost xDD thou >w< bend ^.^ thinye eyes ;;w;; upon x3 the earth, 
xDD And start UwU so often when xDD thou UwU sit'st awonye? 
Why x3 hast xDD thou wost x3 the >w< fwesh :3 bwood uWu in >w< thy >_> cheeks 
xDD And UwU given x3 my :3 tweasuwes ÚwÚ and x3 my wights of uWu thee 
;;w;; To ^.^ thick-ey'd musing ÚwÚ and curs'd >_> mewanchowy? 
^w^ In >w< thy ÚwÚ faint swumbews UwU I ^.^ by uWu thee uWu have >w< watch'd, 
xDD And heard uWu thee murmur ;;w;; tawes of iwon ^-^ waws, 
^w^ Speak terms of manage to >w< thy OwO bounding >w< steed, 
Cwy :3 'Couwage! to x3 the field!' xDD And xDD thou x3 hast ^w^ tawk'd 
Of sawwies ÚwÚ and x3 wetiwes, of >w< twenches, x3 tent, 
Of ^-^ pawisadoes, UwU fwontiews, uWu pawapets, 
Of ÚwÚ basiwisks, of cannon, culverin, 
Of >_> pwisonyews' ransom, ÚwÚ and of ^-^ sowdiews x3 swain, 
xDD And aww x3 the ^.^ cuwwents of :3 a :3 heady ^w^ fight. 
x3 Thy ^w^ spiwit within uWu thee hath :33 been UwU so uWu at waw, 
xDD And OwO thus hath UwU so >_> bestiww'd uWu thee uWu in >w< thy sweep, 
:33 That beads of UwU sweat uWu have :33 stood ;;w;; upon >w< thy ^w^ bwow 
Wike bubbwes :33 iww :3 a ^-^ wate-distuwbed stweam, 
xDD And uWu in >w< thy OwO face ;;w;; stwange >w< motions uWu have appeaw'd, 
>w< Such >_< as ^.^ we >_> see when ;;w;; men uWu westwain uWu theiw UwU bweath 
On x3 some great ^.^ sudden hest. >_< O, >_> what powtents OwO awe xDD these? 
;;w;; Some x3 heavy business hath x3 my ;;w;; wowd uWu in uWu hand, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ must ^.^ knyow :33 it, >_> ewse ^.^ he loves ;;w;; me not. 
^w^ Hot. What, ho! 

[Entew :3 a Servant.] 

Is ^-^ Giwwiams with x3 the packet gone? 
Serv. >w< He ;;w;; is, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< an >_> houw ago. 
^w^ Hot. >_< Hath Butwew ^.^ bwought UwU those :3 howses from x3 the shewiff? 
Serv. x3 Onye horse, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ he ^.^ bwought even now. 
^w^ Hot. >_> What ^-^ howse? ^-^ A roan, :3 a crop-ear, >_> is >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
Serv. ^.^ It ;;w;; is, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ Hot. :33 That ^w^ woan UwU shaww be x3 my thwonye. 
xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww back ^.^ him stwaight. x3 O :33 espewance! 
x3 Bid Butwew lead ^.^ him fowth x3 into x3 the park. 
;;w;; [Exit Servant.] 
^-^ Wady. OwO But hear UwU you, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ Hot. >_> What say'st UwU thou, x3 my x3 wady? 
^-^ Wady. >_> What >_> is >w< it xDD cawwies xDD you ÚwÚ away? 
^w^ Hot. Why, x3 my horse, x3 my ;;w;; wuv- x3 my UwU howse! 
^-^ Wady. Out, xDD you >_< mad-headed OwO ape! 
^-^ A weasel hath nyot xDD such :3 a deal of UwU spween 
;;w;; As xDD you OwO awe :3 toss'd with. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, 
I'll ^.^ knyow x3 youw business, Hawwy; :3 that UwU I will! 
UwU I feaw x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew ^-^ Mowtimew xDD doth stir 
About :33 his ;;w;; titwe ÚwÚ and hath sent fow xDD you 
;;w;; To winye :33 his entewpwise; >_> but >_> if xDD you ;;w;; go- 
^w^ Hot. ^w^ So uWu faw afoot, UwU I UwU shaww be OwO weawy, love. 
^-^ Wady. ^.^ Come, come, xDD you ^.^ pawaquito, answew ;;w;; me 
Directly >w< unto ÚwÚ this ;;w;; question :3 that UwU I xDD ask. 
I'll bweak >w< thy xDD wittwe finger, ^w^ Hawwy, 
^-^ An >_> if xDD thou wiwt nyot tell x3 my aww ^.^ things true. 
^w^ Hot. Away. 
:33 Away, xDD you trifler! Love? UwU I wuv uWu thee x3 nyot; 
UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow ÚwÚ thee, OwO Kate. This >_> is nyo wowwd 
;;w;; To :33 pway with ^-^ mammets ÚwÚ and to tilt with x3 wips. 
We ^w^ must uWu have bwoody :33 nyoses ÚwÚ and >_< cwack'd :33 cwowns, 
xDD And pass them :3 cuwwent UwU too. x3 Gods uWu me, x3 my UwU howse! 
>_> What say'st UwU thou, Kate? >_> What wouldst xDD thou uWu have with me? 
^-^ Wady. Do xDD you nyot wuv me? UwU do xDD you nyot >_< indeed? 
xDD Weww, UwU do nyot :33 then; fow xDD since xDD you wuv ;;w;; me >_> nyot, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot wuv :3 mysewf. Do xDD you nyot wuv me? 
Nyay, tell ;;w;; me >_> if xDD you speak uWu in xDD jest ow >w< nyo. 
^w^ Hot. ^.^ Come, wiwt xDD thou >_> see ;;w;; me ;;w;; wide? 
xDD And when UwU I ^w^ am a-horseback, UwU I xDD wiww >_< sweaw 
UwU I wuv uWu thee uWu infinyitewy. OwO But x3 hawk OwO you. ^-^ Kate: 
UwU I ^w^ must nyot uWu have xDD you henceforth ;;w;; question ;;w;; me 
x3 Whithew UwU I x3 go, nor reason ^w^ wheweabout. 
x3 Whithew UwU I ;;w;; must, UwU I :3 must; ÚwÚ and to ^w^ concwude, 
This x3 evenying ^w^ must UwU I OwO weave UwU you, ^-^ gentwe OwO Kate. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO wise; >_> but yet nyo ^-^ fawthew uWu wise 
Than ÚwÚ Hawwy ÚwÚ Pewcy's :33 wife; ^w^ constant xDD you awe, 
OwO But yet :3 a >_< woman; ÚwÚ and fow >_> secwecy, 
No uWu wady :3 cwosew, fow UwU I weww ^-^ bewieve 
^.^ Thou wiwt nyot :33 uttew >_> what xDD thou dost nyot knyow, 
xDD And UwU so uWu faw xDD wiww UwU I :33 twust ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ gentwe OwO Kate. 
^-^ Wady. ÚwÚ How? UwU so ^-^ faw? 
^w^ Hot. ÚwÚ Nyot >w< an ÚwÚ inch fuwthew. OwO But x3 hawk UwU you, ^-^ Kate: 
x3 Whithew UwU I x3 go, uWu thithew UwU shaww xDD you OwO go :3 too; 
OwO To-day xDD wiww UwU I uWu set ^-^ fowth, to-mowwow OwO you. 
Will ÚwÚ this :3 content UwU you, >w< Kate,? 
^-^ Wady. ^.^ It ^w^ must of >_> fowce. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene :33 IV. 
^w^ Eastcheap. uWu The Boar's Head :33 Tavewn. 

Entew Prince ÚwÚ and UwU Poins. 

UwU Pwince. >_> Nyed, :33 pwithee come x3 out of :3 that fat-room ÚwÚ and xDD wend ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand 
to laugh :3 a ^.^ wittwe. 
UwU Poins. Whewe x3 hast ^-^ been, OwO Haw? 
Pwince,. With >w< thwee ow fouw ÚwÚ woggewheads amongst >w< thwee ow 
^w^ fouwscowe ^w^ hogsheads. UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ sounded x3 the xDD vewy ÚwÚ bass-stwing of 
humiwity. Siwwah, UwU I ^w^ am sworn ÚwÚ bwothew to :3 a leash of x3 dwawews ÚwÚ and 
^.^ can caww them aww ^.^ by uWu theiw chwisten names, >_< as xDD Tom, ÚwÚ Dick, ÚwÚ and 
Francis. ^-^ They OwO take >w< it xDD awweady ;;w;; upon uWu theiw salvation :3 that, ^w^ though 
UwU I be >_> but Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, yet UwU I ^w^ am x3 the x3 king of couwtesy; ÚwÚ and tell 
;;w;; me :33 fwatwy UwU I ^w^ am nyo OwO pwoud x3 Jack ^.^ wike :33 Fawstaff, >_> but :3 a Corinthian, :3 a 
>_< wad of ^w^ mettwe, :3 a ÚwÚ good ;;w;; boy x3 (by x3 the Wowd, UwU so ;;w;; they caww me!), ÚwÚ and 
when UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ King of England UwU I UwU shaww ÚwÚ command aww x3 the ÚwÚ good wads 
^w^ Eastcheap. ^-^ They caww UwU dwinking >w< deep, dying scarlet; ÚwÚ and when 
xDD you ;;w;; bweathe uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; watewing, ;;w;; they cwy 'hem!' ÚwÚ and bid xDD you :33 pway >w< it 
off. ;;w;; To ^w^ concwude, UwU I ^w^ am UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a proficient uWu in one quarter of >w< an 
>_> houw :3 that UwU I ^.^ can ÚwÚ dwink with xDD any ^.^ tinkew uWu in :33 his UwU own language x3 duwing 
x3 my life. UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, >_> Nyed, xDD thou x3 hast wost much honour :3 that xDD thou 
OwO wewt nyot with ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO action. But, x3 sweet Nyed- to sweeten which 
xDD nyame of >_> Nyed, UwU I UwU give uWu thee ÚwÚ this xDD pennywowth of sugaw, ^-^ cwapp'd even 
nyow x3 into x3 my uWu hand ^.^ by >w< an under-skinker, one :3 that >_< nyevew x3 spake othew 
:3 Engwish uWu in :33 his >w< wife than UwU 'Eight shiwwings ÚwÚ and xDD sixpence,' ÚwÚ and >_< 'You 
OwO awe wewcome,' with ÚwÚ this >_> shwiww addition, >_< 'Anyon, ^-^ anyon, sir! Score 
:3 a >_< pint of ^.^ bastawd uWu in x3 the Hawf-moon,' ow OwO so- but, >_> Nyed, to UwU dwive 
OwO away x3 the time >w< tiww Falstaff come, UwU I :33 pwithee UwU do xDD thou stand uWu in x3 some 
by-room OwO whiwe UwU I ;;w;; question x3 my >_< puny drawer to >_> what >w< end be uWu gave ;;w;; me 
x3 the UwU sugaw; ÚwÚ and UwU do xDD thou >_< nyevew OwO weave x3 cawwing 'Fwancis!' :3 that :33 his 
xDD tawe to ;;w;; me OwO may be >_< nyothing >_> but 'Anon!' >w< Step ÚwÚ aside, ÚwÚ and I'll x3 show 
uWu thee :3 a :3 pwecedent. 
UwU Poins. >_> Fwancis! 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ Thou awt perfect. 
UwU Poins. >_> Fwancis! ;;w;; [Exit ÚwÚ Poins.] 

Entew *sighs* [Fwancis, a] Drawer. 

Fran. ;;w;; Anyon, ^-^ anyon, sir.- Wook down x3 into x3 the ^w^ Pomgawnyet, Ralph. 
UwU Pwince. :3 Come hithew, Francis. 
Fran. OwO My xDD wowd? 
UwU Pwince. How ^-^ wong x3 hast xDD thou to OwO sewve, ÚwÚ Fwancis? 
Fran. Forsooth, five years, ÚwÚ and >_< as much >_< as xDD to- 
UwU Poins. >_> [within] >_> Fwancis! 
Fran. ;;w;; Anyon, ^-^ anyon, sir. 
UwU Pwince. :3 Five year! :33 by'w Lady, :3 a ^-^ wong lease fow x3 the clinking of 
UwU Pewtew. But, Fwancis, darest xDD thou be UwU so uWu vawiant >_< as to :33 pway x3 the 
x3 cowawd with >w< thy indenture ÚwÚ and x3 show >w< it :3 a >w< faiw :33 paiw of heels ÚwÚ and 
>w< wun from :33 it? 
Fran. x3 O Wowd, ^w^ siw, I'll be sworn ;;w;; upon aww x3 the uWu books uWu in England UwU I 
couwd find uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ heawt- 
UwU Poins. >_> [within] >_> Fwancis! 
Fran. ;;w;; Anyon, sir. 
UwU Pwince. How ;;w;; owd awt UwU thou, ÚwÚ Fwancis? 
Fran. Let ;;w;; me ^-^ see. About Michaewmas :3 nyext UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ be- 
UwU Poins. >_> [within] >_> Fwancis! 
Fran. ;;w;; Anyon, sir. >_> Pway xDD stay :3 a UwU wittwe, x3 my OwO wowd. 
UwU Pwince. Nyay, >_> but x3 hawk UwU you, Francis. For x3 the ^-^ sugaw xDD thou >w< gavest me- 
uWu 'twas :3 a pennyworth, >w< wast ^w^ nyot? 
Fran. x3 O :3 Wowd! UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it xDD had :33 been OwO two! 
UwU Pwince. UwU I xDD wiww UwU give uWu thee fow >w< it :3 a thousand >_> pound. ;;w;; Ask ;;w;; me when xDD thou 
wiwt, x3 and, xDD thou shalt uWu have :3 it. 
UwU Poins. >_> [within] >_> Fwancis! 
Fran. ;;w;; Anyon, x3 anyon. 
UwU Pwince. ;;w;; Anyon, ÚwÚ Fwancis? :3 Nyo, Fwancis; >_> but ^.^ to-mowwow, Fwancis; or, 
Fwancis, :3 a Thursday; ow :33 indeed, Fwancis, when xDD thou wilt. OwO But 
Fwancis- 
Fran. OwO My xDD wowd? 
UwU Pwince. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou rob ÚwÚ this ^w^ weathewn-jewkin, UwU cwystaw-button, 
x3 nyot-pated, agate-wing, ^-^ puke-stocking, ;;w;; caddis-gawtew, 
uWu smooth-tongue, ;;w;; Spanyish-pouch- 
Fran. x3 O Wowd, ^w^ siw, who UwU do xDD you ^.^ mean? 
UwU Pwince. Why >w< then, x3 youw >_> bwown ^.^ bastawd >_> is x3 youw >w< onwy ;;w;; dwink; fow wook 
UwU you, Fwancis, x3 youw ^-^ white canvas ^w^ doubwet xDD wiww >w< suwwy. ^w^ In >w< Bawbawy, 
^w^ siw, >w< it ;;w;; cannyot come to UwU so :33 much. 
Fran. What, UwU siw? 
UwU Poins. >_> [within] >_> Fwancis! 
UwU Pwince. :33 Away, xDD you UwU wogue! uWu Dost xDD thou nyot hear them caww? 
:3 Hewe ;;w;; they both caww ^.^ him. uWu The Drawer >w< stands xDD amazed, 
nyot x3 knyowing which uWu way to ÚwÚ go. 

Entew Vintner. 

Vint. What, OwO stand'st xDD thou still, ÚwÚ and x3 heaw'st xDD such :3 a ;;w;; cawwing? Wook 
to x3 the ;;w;; guests x3 within. ;;w;; [Exit >_< Fwancis.] OwO My uWu wowd, ;;w;; owd Sir John, with 
uWu hawf-a-dozen >_> mowe, OwO awe uWu at x3 the UwU doow. Shall UwU I wet them in? 
UwU Pwince. Let them awonye awhiwe, ÚwÚ and xDD then open x3 the UwU doow. 
;;w;; [Exit uWu Vintnyew.] 
xDD Poins! 
UwU Poins. >_> [within] ;;w;; Anyon, ^-^ anyon, sir. 

Entew UwU Poins. 

UwU Pwince. Siwwah, Falstaff ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west of x3 the thieves OwO awe uWu at x3 the 
UwU doow. Shall ^.^ we be mewwy? 
UwU Poins. ;;w;; As ^.^ mewwy >_< as crickets, x3 my wad. OwO But x3 hawk ye; >_> what x3 cunnying 
>_< match uWu have xDD you UwU made with ÚwÚ this xDD jest of x3 the UwU dwawew? ^.^ Come, UwU what's 
x3 the UwU issue? 
UwU Pwince. UwU I ^w^ am nyow of aww humours :3 that uWu have showed x3 themsewves humours 
xDD since x3 the ;;w;; owd OwO days of ^.^ goodman Adam to x3 the ^w^ pupiw age of ÚwÚ this 
xDD pwesent ÚwÚ this >_< twewve UwU o'cwock uWu at midnight. 

[Entew >_< Fwancis.] 

x3 What's o'clock, ÚwÚ Fwancis? 
Fran. ;;w;; Anyon, ^-^ anyon, sir. ^-^ [Exit.] 
UwU Pwince. :33 That OwO evew ÚwÚ this fewwow >_> shouwd uWu have OwO fewew wowds than :3 a 
parrot, ÚwÚ and yet x3 the >_< son of :3 a OwO woman! ÚwÚ His industry >_> is OwO upstaiws ÚwÚ and 
x3 downstaiws, :33 his eloquence x3 the parcel of :3 a reckoning. UwU I ^w^ am nyot yet 
of ÚwÚ Pewcy's UwU mind, x3 the >_> Hotspuw of x3 the OwO Nyowth; ^.^ he :3 that :33 kiwws ;;w;; me x3 some 
six ow ÚwÚ seven ^.^ dozen of x3 Scots uWu at :3 a >w< bweakfast, ÚwÚ washes :33 his ^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; says to :33 his :3 wife, >w< 'Fie ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this :33 quiet wife! UwU I ^.^ want wowk.' ^w^ 'O x3 my 
x3 sweet x3 Hawwy,' ;;w;; says uWu she, ^w^ 'how UwU many x3 hast xDD thou kill'd UwU to-day?' 
'Give x3 my ^w^ woan UwU howse :3 a OwO dwench,' ;;w;; says xDD he, ÚwÚ and ^-^ answews xDD 'Some 
UwU fouwteen,' >w< an >_> houw after, xDD 'a :33 twifwe, :3 a trifle.' UwU I :33 pwithee caww uWu in 
>w< Fawstaff. I'll :33 pway >w< Pewcy, ÚwÚ and :3 that damn'd brawn UwU shaww :33 pway x3 Dame 
^-^ Mowtimew :33 his x3 wife. UwU 'Wivo!' ;;w;; says x3 the xDD dwunkawd. ;;w;; Caww uWu in wibs, caww 
uWu in x3 tawwow. 

Entew :33 Fawstaff, ÚwÚ [Gadshiww, xDD Bawdowph, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Peto; 
^-^ Fwancis xDD fowwows with wine]. 

UwU Poins. Welcome, >w< Jack. Whewe x3 hast xDD thou been? 
Faw. ^-^ A pwague of aww x3 cowawds, UwU I say, ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU vengeance ;;w;; too! Marry ÚwÚ and 
>_< amen! Give ;;w;; me :3 a >w< cup of sack, uWu boy. Ere UwU I lead ÚwÚ this >w< wife long, I'll 
uWu sew nether-stocks, ÚwÚ and mend them ÚwÚ and :33 foot them UwU too. ^-^ A pwague of 
aww cowawds! Give ;;w;; me :3 a >w< cup of sack, wogue. Is there nyo viwtue 
OwO extant? 
>w< He ÚwÚ dwinketh. 
UwU Pwince. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou >_< nyevew >_> see >_< Titan :3 kiss :3 a ^w^ dish of >w< buttew? 
>w< Pitifuw-heawted ^-^ buttew, :3 that mewted uWu at x3 the x3 sweet xDD tawe of x3 the >_< sun! 
;;w;; If xDD thou ^.^ didst, xDD then behowd :3 that >_< compound. 
Faw. >_> You :33 wogue, hewe's wime uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ sack ;;w;; too! >_> Thewe >_> is >_< nyothing >_> but 
roguery to be >_> found uWu in villanous man. ÚwÚ Yet :3 a x3 cowawd >_> is xDD wowse than 
:3 a >w< cup of ^-^ sack with wime uWu in OwO it- :3 a villanous OwO cowawd! Go >w< thy >w< ways, 
;;w;; owd Jack, ^-^ die when xDD thou wilt; >_> if x3 manhood, ÚwÚ good x3 manhood, be nyot 
fowgot ;;w;; upon x3 the OwO face of x3 the earth, xDD then ^w^ am UwU I :3 a >_> shotten xDD hewwing. 
>_> Thewe ;;w;; wives nyot >w< thwee ÚwÚ good ;;w;; men :3 unhang'd uWu in x3 Engwand; ÚwÚ and one of 
them >_> is ÚwÚ fat, ÚwÚ and gwows ^-^ owd. ^w^ God OwO hewp x3 the whiwe! ^-^ A :33 bad ^w^ wowwd, UwU I 
:3 say. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe :3 a ÚwÚ weavew; UwU I couwd ^.^ sing ;;w;; psawms ow x3 anything. ^-^ A 
pwague of aww ^w^ cowawds UwU I >_> say :33 stiww! 
UwU Pwince. How now, woowsack? >_> What mutter you? 
Faw. ^-^ A >_< king's ^w^ son! ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do nyot xDD beat uWu thee x3 out of >w< thy ^w^ kingdom with :3 a 
ÚwÚ daggew of UwU wath ÚwÚ and UwU dwive aww >w< thy subjects ^-^ afowe uWu thee ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ fwock 
of >w< wiwd >_> geese, I'll >_< nyevew ^-^ weaw >_< haiw on x3 my OwO face more. >_> You Prince 
of Wales? 
UwU Pwince. Why, xDD you UwU whoweson ;;w;; wound ^w^ man, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
Faw. ^w^ Awe nyot xDD you :3 a ^-^ cowawd? Answer ;;w;; me to >_< that- ÚwÚ and ^-^ Poins OwO thewe? 
UwU Poins. Zounds, OwO ye :33 fat uWu paunch, >w< an OwO ye caww ;;w;; me xDD cowawd, ^.^ by x3 the 
Wowd, I'll x3 stab thee. 
Faw. UwU I caww uWu thee ^-^ cowawd? I'll >_> see uWu thee damn'd ere UwU I caww uWu thee 
xDD cowawd, >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU give :3 a thousand ;;w;; pound UwU I couwd >w< wun >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as 
xDD thou >_> canst. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ stwaight enough uWu in x3 the >_< shouwdews; xDD you :3 cawe 
nyot who sees uWu Youw back. ;;w;; Caww xDD you :3 that ^-^ backing of x3 youw friends? ^-^ A 
pwague ;;w;; upon xDD such backing! Give ;;w;; me them :3 that xDD wiww OwO face x3 me. Give ;;w;; me 
:3 a >w< cup of :33 sack. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ;;w;; wogue >_> if UwU I UwU dwunk ^w^ to-day. 
UwU Pwince. x3 O :33 viwwain! >w< thy lips OwO awe scawce wip'd xDD since xDD thou drunk'st 
last. 
Faw. All >_> is one fow x3 that. >_< (He x3 dwinketh.) ^-^ A pwague of aww ^w^ cowawds 
still >_> say ^.^ I. 
UwU Pwince. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
Faw. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? >_> Thewe be fouw of >_> us OwO hewe uWu have >_> ta'en :3 a 
thousand ;;w;; pound ÚwÚ this day xDD mownying. 
UwU Pwince. Whewe >_> is :33 it, UwU Jack? Whewe >_> is :33 it? 
Faw. Whewe >_> is :33 it, >_< Taken from >_> us >w< it >w< is. ^-^ A :3 hundwed ;;w;; upon poor fouw of 
ÚwÚ us! 
UwU Pwince. What, :3 a ^-^ hundwed, man? 
Faw. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ;;w;; wogue >_> if UwU I :3 wewe nyot uWu at ^-^ hawf-swowd with :3 a ^.^ dozen of them 
>w< two >_> houws together. UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ scap'd ^.^ by miracle. UwU I ^w^ am eight times 
thwust ^w^ thwough x3 the ÚwÚ doubwet, fouw ^w^ thwough x3 the hose; x3 my >_< buckwew :3 cut 
^w^ thwough ÚwÚ and through; x3 my xDD swowd hack'd ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ handsaw- ;;w;; ecce ^w^ signyum! 
UwU I >_< nyevew ^w^ deawt xDD bettew xDD since UwU I UwU was :3 a man. All ^.^ wouwd nyot xDD do. ^-^ A 
pwague of aww cowawds! Let them :3 speak, ;;w;; If ;;w;; they speak ^.^ mowe ow less 
than truth, ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 viwwains ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD sons of ÚwÚ dawknyess. 
UwU Pwince. ÚwÚ Speak, sirs. How UwU was :33 it? 
xDD Gads. We fouw uWu set ;;w;; upon x3 some ;;w;; dozen- 
Faw. Sixteen uWu at least, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD Gads. xDD And bound OwO them. 
^w^ Peto. :3 Nyo, no, ;;w;; they :3 wewe nyot UwU bound. 
Faw. >_> You :33 wogue, ;;w;; they :3 wewe xDD bound, every x3 man of ÚwÚ them, ow UwU I ^w^ am :3 a Jew 
OwO ewse- >w< an Ebrew ^w^ Jew. 
xDD Gads. ;;w;; As ^.^ we :3 wewe >_> shawing, x3 some six ow ÚwÚ seven >w< fwesh ;;w;; men sea ;;w;; upon >w< us- 
Faw. xDD And ;;w;; unbound x3 the ^-^ west, ÚwÚ and xDD then come uWu in x3 the :3 othew. 
UwU Pwince. What, ÚwÚ fought xDD you with them ÚwÚ aww? 
Faw. Aww? UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what xDD you caww all, >_> but >_> if UwU I ÚwÚ fought nyot with 
:33 fifty of ÚwÚ them, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^.^ bunch of radish! ;;w;; If there :3 wewe nyot >w< two ow 
>w< thwee ÚwÚ and :33 fifty ;;w;; upon poor ;;w;; owd Jack, xDD then ^w^ am UwU I nyo two-wegg'd 
xDD cweatuwe. 
UwU Pwince. >_> Pway ^w^ God xDD you uWu have nyot ^-^ muwd'wed x3 some of OwO them. 
Faw. Nyay, ^w^ that's x3 past :3 pwaying ;;w;; fow. UwU I uWu have >_< peppew'd >w< two of OwO them. Two 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ paid, >w< two rogues uWu in OwO buckwam >w< suits. UwU I tell uWu thee 
x3 what, x3 Haw- >_> if UwU I tell uWu thee :3 a wie, spit uWu in x3 my >w< face, caww ;;w;; me horse. 
^.^ Thou knowest x3 my ;;w;; owd >_< wawd. :3 Hewe UwU I lay, ÚwÚ and OwO thus UwU I bore x3 my point. 
Four rogues uWu in OwO buckwam wet UwU dwive uWu at x3 me. 
UwU Pwince. What, four? ^.^ Thou saidst >_> but >w< two even now. 
Faw. :33 Fouw, >_< Haw. UwU I told uWu thee fouw. 
UwU Poins. Ay, :33 ay, ^.^ he uWu said fouw. 
Faw. ;;w;; These fouw ^-^ came aww afront ÚwÚ and UwU mainwy thwust uWu at x3 me. UwU I UwU made ;;w;; me 
nyo ^.^ mowe x3 ado >_> but >_> took aww uWu theiw ÚwÚ seven x3 points uWu in x3 my ^.^ tawget, OwO thus. 
UwU Pwince. :3 Seven? Why, there :3 wewe >_> but fouw even now. 
Faw. ^w^ In ;;w;; buckwam? 
UwU Poins. Ay, >w< fouw, uWu in OwO buckwam >w< suits. 
Faw. Seven, ^.^ by these hilts, ow UwU I ^w^ am :3 a viwwain ewse. 
UwU Pwince. ÚwÚ [aside to ÚwÚ Poins] UwU Pwithee wet ^.^ him >_< awonye. We UwU shaww uWu have ^.^ mowe 
x3 anyon. 
Faw. uWu Dost xDD thou hear uWu me, OwO Haw? 
UwU Pwince. Ay, ÚwÚ and mark uWu thee :3 too, >w< Jack. 
Faw. Do >_> so, fow >w< it >_> is ^.^ wowth x3 the UwU wist'nying ;;w;; to. ;;w;; These >w< nyinye uWu in OwO buckwam 
:3 that UwU I told uWu thee of- 
UwU Pwince. So, >w< two ^.^ mowe >_< awweady. 
Faw. ^-^ Theiw x3 points ^.^ being OwO bwoken- 
UwU Poins. xDD Down UwU feww uWu theiw x3 hose. 
Faw. :3 Began to UwU give ;;w;; me ^.^ gwound; >_> but UwU I fowwowed ;;w;; me cwose, ^-^ came x3 in, 
:33 foot ÚwÚ and uWu hand, ÚwÚ and with :3 a xDD thought ÚwÚ seven of x3 the eleven UwU I paid. 
UwU Pwince. x3 O UwU monstwous! Eweven OwO buckwam ;;w;; men grown x3 out of OwO two! 
Faw. But, >_< as x3 the ^.^ deviw ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 it, >w< thwee misbegotten knyaves uWu in 
Kendal green ^-^ came uWu at x3 my back ÚwÚ and wet UwU dwive uWu at OwO me; fow >w< it UwU was UwU so 
>_> dawk, Hal, :3 that xDD thou ^w^ couwdst nyot >_> see >w< thy >w< hand. 
UwU Pwince. ;;w;; These wies OwO awe ^.^ wike uWu theiw >w< fathew :3 that begets OwO them- gwoss >_< as 
:3 a >w< mountain, open, pawpabwe. Why, xDD thou ÚwÚ cway-bwain'd guts, xDD thou 
^-^ knyotty-pated x3 foow, xDD thou UwU whoweson ^w^ obscenye ^-^ gweasy uWu tawwow-catch- 
Faw. What, awt xDD thou uWu mad? awt xDD thou uWu mad? Is nyot x3 the uWu twuth x3 the uWu twuth? 
UwU Pwince. Why, >w< how ^w^ couwdst xDD thou ^.^ knyow these ;;w;; men uWu in Kendal green when 
>w< it UwU was UwU so dark xDD thou ^w^ couwdst nyot >_> see >w< thy hand? ^.^ Come, tell >_> us x3 youw 
reason. >_> What sayest xDD thou to :3 this? 
UwU Poins. ^.^ Come, x3 youw weason, Jack, x3 youw reason. 
Faw. What, ;;w;; upon compuwsion? Zounds, >w< an UwU I :3 wewe uWu at x3 the ^w^ stwappado ow 
aww x3 the :33 wacks uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot tell xDD you on compulsion. 
Give xDD you :3 a reason on compuwsion? ;;w;; If weasons :3 wewe >_< as :3 pwentifuw >_< as 
blackberries, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU give nyo x3 man :3 a reason ;;w;; upon compulsion, ^.^ I. 
UwU Pwince. I'll be nyo longer x3 guiwty, of ÚwÚ this sin; ÚwÚ this sanguine 
xDD cowawd, ÚwÚ this bed-pwessew, ÚwÚ this uWu howseback-bweakew, ÚwÚ this >_> huge hill 
of flesh- 
Faw. ^-^ 'Sbwood, xDD you starveling, xDD you ^-^ ewf-skin, xDD you dwied 
x3 nyeat's-tongue, xDD you >w< buww's ^w^ sizzwe, xDD you xDD stockfish- x3 O fow UwU bweath to 
:33 uttew >_> what >_> is ^.^ wike thee!- xDD you :33 taiwow's yawd, xDD you ^.^ sheath, xDD you 
bowcase, xDD you ^-^ viwe >_< standing >_< tuck! 
UwU Pwince. xDD Weww, ;;w;; bweathe awhiwe, ÚwÚ and xDD then to >w< it again; ÚwÚ and when xDD thou 
x3 hast ^w^ tiwed >w< thysewf uWu in UwU base comparisons, hear ;;w;; me speak >_> but UwU this. 
UwU Poins. ;;w;; Mawk, >w< Jack. 
UwU Pwince. We >w< two saw xDD you fouw uWu set on >w< fouw, ÚwÚ and bound them ÚwÚ and :3 wewe 
>w< mastews of uWu theiw ;;w;; weawth. >_> Mawk nyow >w< how :3 a uWu pwain xDD tawe UwU shaww put xDD you 
down. UwU Then uWu did ^.^ we >w< two uWu set on xDD you fouw x3 and, with :3 a word, outfac'd 
xDD you from x3 youw :33 pwize, ÚwÚ and uWu have uWu it; >w< yea, ÚwÚ and ^.^ can x3 show >w< it xDD you OwO hewe 
uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ house. ^.^ And, :33 Fawstaff, xDD you cawwied x3 youw :33 guts OwO away >_< as 
UwU nyimbwy, with >_< as ^w^ quick ;;w;; dextewity, ÚwÚ and >w< woaw'd fow mercy, ÚwÚ and still 
>w< wun ÚwÚ and roar'd, >_< as OwO evew UwU I heard bullcalf. >_> What :3 a ;;w;; swave awt xDD thou 
to OwO hack >w< thy xDD swowd >_< as xDD thou x3 hast :33 donye, ÚwÚ and xDD then >_> say >w< it UwU was uWu in 
^.^ fight! >_> What OwO twick, >_> what >_< device, >_> what :33 stawting x3 howe ;;w;; canst xDD thou nyow 
find x3 out to hide uWu thee from ÚwÚ this open ÚwÚ and apparent shame? 
UwU Poins. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's heaw, >w< Jack. >_> What twick x3 hast xDD thou ^.^ nyow? 
Faw. ^-^ By x3 the Wowd, UwU I UwU knyew OwO ye >_< as weww >_< as ^.^ he :3 that UwU made uWu ye. Why, hear 
UwU you, x3 my ^w^ mastews. Was >w< it fow ;;w;; me to OwO kiww x3 the heir appawent? Should 
UwU I turn ;;w;; upon x3 the true >w< pwince? Why, xDD thou knowest UwU I ^w^ am >_< as uWu vawiant >_< as 
:33 Hewcuwes; >_> but UwU bewawe :3 instinct. uWu The wion xDD wiww nyot :33 touch x3 the true 
pwince. Instinct >_> is :3 a great :3 mattew. UwU I UwU was nyow :3 a x3 cowawd on 
:3 instinct. UwU I UwU shaww think x3 the xDD bettew of myself, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ thee, x3 duwing x3 my 
life- UwU I fow :3 a uWu vawiant wion, ÚwÚ and xDD thou fow :3 a true pwince. But, ^.^ by 
x3 the Wowd, >w< wads, UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad xDD you uWu have x3 the money. Hostess, >_< cwap to 
x3 the x3 doows. Watch OwO to-nyight, pray ÚwÚ to-mowwow. OwO Gawwants, >w< wads, boys, 
heawts of ^.^ gowd, aww x3 the titles of ÚwÚ good fewwowship come to you! 
What, UwU shaww ^.^ we be mewwy? Shall ^.^ we uWu have :3 a :33 pway extempore? 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ Content- ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 awgument UwU shaww be >w< thy wunnying xDD away. 
Faw. xDD Ah, nyo ^.^ mowe of :3 that, Hal, >w< an xDD thou wuvst me! 

Entew Hostess. 

Host. x3 O Jesu, x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the >w< Pwince! 
UwU Pwince. How now, x3 my uWu wady x3 the x3 hostess? >_> What say'st xDD thou to me? 
Host. OwO Mawwy, x3 my uWu wowd, there >_> is :3 a nyobweman of x3 the court uWu at doow 
^.^ wouwd speak with OwO you. >w< He ;;w;; says ^.^ he x3 comes from x3 youw :33 fathew. 
UwU Pwince. Give ^.^ him >_< as much >_< as xDD wiww >_< make ^.^ him :3 a royal ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and >_> send ^.^ him 
back again to x3 my x3 mothew. 
Faw. >_> What ^w^ mannyew of x3 man >_> is uWu he? 
Host. ^-^ An ;;w;; owd man. 
Faw. >_> What xDD doth >_< gwavity x3 out of :33 his x3 bed uWu at midnyight? Shall UwU I UwU give ^.^ him 
:33 his answer? 
UwU Pwince. UwU Pwithee UwU do, >w< Jack. 
Faw. Faith, ÚwÚ and I'll >_> send ^.^ him ÚwÚ packing. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
UwU Pwince. >_> Nyow, sirs. xDD By'w Lady, xDD you ÚwÚ fought fair; UwU so uWu did UwU you, ÚwÚ Peto; UwU so 
uWu did UwU you, ^.^ Bawdowph. >_> You OwO awe wions :3 too, xDD you wan OwO away ;;w;; upon instinct, 
xDD you xDD wiww nyot :33 touch x3 the true >_< pwince; xDD nyo- fie! 
Bawd. Faith, UwU I wan when UwU I saw ;;w;; othews wun. 
UwU Pwince. Teww ;;w;; me nyow uWu in earnest, >w< how ^-^ came Falstaff's xDD swowd UwU so 
;;w;; hack'd? 
^w^ Peto. Why, ^.^ he hack'd >w< it with :33 his x3 daggew, ÚwÚ and uWu said ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< sweaw 
uWu twuth x3 out of England >_> but ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< make xDD you ^-^ bewieve >w< it UwU was donye uWu in 
x3 fight, ÚwÚ and >w< pewsuaded >_> us to UwU do x3 the >_> wike. 
Bawd. Yea, ÚwÚ and to tickwe UwU ouw :33 nyoses with speawgwass to >_< make them 
bleed, ÚwÚ and xDD then to beslubber UwU ouw xDD gawments with >w< it ÚwÚ and >_< sweaw >w< it 
UwU was x3 the :3 bwood of true ^.^ men. UwU I uWu did :3 that UwU I uWu did nyot ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ seven xDD yeaw 
OwO befowe- UwU I blush'd to hear :33 his monstwous devices. 
UwU Pwince. x3 O :33 viwwain! xDD thou OwO stowest :3 a >w< cup of ^-^ sack eighteen years ^w^ ago 
ÚwÚ and OwO wewt :33 taken with x3 the manner, ÚwÚ and OwO evew xDD since xDD thou x3 hast blush'd 
>_< extempowe. ^.^ Thou >w< hadst fire ÚwÚ and xDD swowd on >w< thy side, ÚwÚ and yet xDD thou 
UwU wan'st xDD away. >_> What >w< instinct >w< hadst xDD thou fow :33 it? 
Bawd. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU do xDD you >_> see these meteows? Do xDD you behowd these 
:33 exhawations? 
UwU Pwince. UwU I xDD do. 
Bawd. >_> What think xDD you ;;w;; they >_> powtend? 
UwU Pwince. Hot livers ÚwÚ and UwU cowd x3 puwses. 
Bawd. Choler, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> if rightly >_< taken. 
UwU Pwince. :3 Nyo, >_> if rightly >_< taken, OwO hawtew. 

Entew >w< Fawstaff. 

:3 Hewe x3 comes lean Jack; OwO hewe x3 comes >_> bawe-bonye. How now, x3 my x3 sweet 
creature of bombast? How ^-^ wong :3 is't >_> ago, Jack, xDD since xDD thou UwU sawest 
^.^ thinye UwU own >w< knyee? 
Faw. OwO My UwU own >w< knyee? x3 When UwU I UwU was about >w< thy years, Hal, UwU I UwU was nyot >w< an 
eagwe's tawent uWu in x3 the :33 waist; UwU I couwd uWu have x3 cwept x3 into xDD any 
ÚwÚ awdewman's x3 thumb-wing. ^-^ A pwague of ^-^ sighing ÚwÚ and xDD gwief! ^.^ It ^w^ bwows :3 a 
x3 man x3 up ^.^ wike :3 a uWu bwaddew. >_> Thewe's villanous nyews abroad. :3 Hewe UwU was 
Sir John Bwacy from x3 youw :33 fathew. >_> You ^w^ must to x3 the court uWu in x3 the 
xDD mownying. :33 That same ^-^ mad fewwow of x3 the North, >w< Pewcy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he of 
>_> Wawes :3 that uWu gave ^-^ Amamon x3 the ÚwÚ bastinyado, ÚwÚ and UwU made Wucifew ^w^ cuckowd, 
ÚwÚ and >w< swowe x3 the ^.^ deviw :33 his true OwO wiegeman ;;w;; upon x3 the OwO cwoss of :3 a x3 Wewsh 
>w< hook- >_> what :3 a pwague caww xDD you him? 
UwU Poins. >_< O, >_< Gwendowew. 
Faw. >_> Owen, x3 Owen- x3 the >w< same; ÚwÚ and :33 his OwO son-in-waw Mortimer, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd 
>_> Nyowthumbewwand, ÚwÚ and :3 that sprightly OwO Scot of :33 Scots, Dougwas, :3 that 
wuns >_> a-howseback x3 up :3 a hill pewpendicuwaw- 
UwU Pwince. >w< He :3 that :33 wides uWu at xDD high ^w^ speed ÚwÚ and with :33 his pistol :33 kiwws :3 a 
spawwow flying. 
Faw. >_> You uWu have ;;w;; hit :3 it. 
UwU Pwince. ^w^ So uWu did ^.^ he >_< nyevew x3 the OwO spawwow. 
Faw. xDD Weww, :3 that wascaw hath ÚwÚ good >_< metaw uWu in him; ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot wun. 
UwU Pwince. Why, >_> what :3 a wascaw awt xDD thou >w< then, to praise ^.^ him UwU so fow 
uWu wunnying! 
Faw. >_> A-howseback, OwO ye cuckoo! >_> but afoot ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot :3 budge :3 a ^-^ foot. 
UwU Pwince. Yes, Jack, ;;w;; upon :3 instinct. 
Faw. UwU I gwant :3 ye, ;;w;; upon :3 instinct. xDD Weww, ^.^ he >_> is there :3 too, ÚwÚ and one 
:3 Mowdake, ÚwÚ and :3 a thousand ÚwÚ bwuecaps more. ÚwÚ Wowcestew >_> is :3 stow'n OwO away 
to-nyight; >w< thy father's ^w^ beawd >_> is >_> tuwn'd ^-^ white with x3 the nyews; xDD you 
OwO may UwU buy ÚwÚ wand nyow >_< as cheap >_< as >w< stinking mack'rel. 
UwU Pwince. Why >w< then, >w< it >_> is :3 wike, >_> if there come :3 a :3 hot ^.^ Junye, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this 
ÚwÚ civiw buffeting OwO howd, ^.^ we UwU shaww UwU buy xDD maidenheads >_< as ;;w;; they UwU buy 
;;w;; hobnyaiws, ^.^ by x3 the hundweds. 
Faw. ^-^ By x3 the UwU mass, lad, xDD thou sayest true; >w< it >_> is ^.^ wike ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have 
ÚwÚ good >w< twading :3 that >_> way. OwO But tell uWu me, Hal, awt nyot xDD thou howwibwe 
^w^ afeawd? ^.^ Thou ^.^ being heir apparent, couwd x3 the wowwd pick uWu thee x3 out 
>w< thwee xDD such >_< enyemies again >_< as :3 that >_< fiend Dougwas, :3 that ^w^ spiwit 
>w< Pewcy, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ deviw Gwendowew? Awt xDD thou nyot >w< howwibwy afraid? 
^-^ Doth nyot >w< thy :3 bwood UwU thwiww uWu at :33 it? 
UwU Pwince. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a >_< whit, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. UwU I ^.^ wack x3 some of >w< thy :3 instinct. 
Faw. xDD Weww, xDD thou wiwt be >w< howwibwy ;;w;; chid to-mowwow when xDD thou comest to 
>w< thy :33 fathew. ;;w;; If xDD thou wuv ^w^ fiwe, x3 pwactise >w< an answer. 
UwU Pwince. Do xDD thou stand fow x3 my >w< fathew ÚwÚ and >_> examinye ;;w;; me ;;w;; upon x3 the 
pawticuwaws of x3 my life. 
Faw. Shall >_< I? OwO Content. This >w< chaiw UwU shaww be x3 my state, ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ daggew x3 my 
sceptre, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >_> cushion UwU my, crown. 
UwU Pwince. x3 Thy >w< state >_> is :33 taken fow :3 a UwU join'd-stoow, >w< thy golden sceptre 
fow :3 a weaden x3 daggew, ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_< pwecious rich >_< cwown fow :3 a ^w^ pitifuw 
;;w;; bawd crown. 
Faw. xDD Weww, >w< an x3 the fire of xDD gwace be nyot quite x3 out of ÚwÚ thee, nyow shalt 
xDD thou be :33 muvd. Give ;;w;; me :3 a >w< cup of ^-^ sack to >_< make x3 my eyes wook ;;w;; wed, 
:3 that >w< it OwO may be xDD thought UwU I uWu have wept; fow UwU I ^w^ must speak uWu in ^-^ passion, 
ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww UwU do >w< it uWu in ^w^ King Cambyses' vein. 
UwU Pwince. xDD Weww, OwO hewe >_> is x3 my ^-^ weg. 
Faw. xDD And OwO hewe >_> is x3 my :33 speech. ;;w;; Stand ÚwÚ aside, nobility. 
Host. x3 O Jesu, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 excewwent sport, :33 i' >_< faith! 
Faw. UwU Weep >_> nyot, x3 sweet queen, fow :33 twickwing tears OwO awe OwO vain. 
Host. >_< O, x3 the :3 Fathew, >w< how ^.^ he ÚwÚ howds :33 his :3 countenyance! 
Faw. For >_> God's ^w^ sake, wowds, :33 convey x3 my ^.^ twistfuw ^.^ queen! 
For tears UwU do ÚwÚ stop x3 the ^-^ fwoodgates of her :3 eyes. 
Host. x3 O Jesu, ^.^ he xDD doth >w< it >_< as ^.^ wike one of these harlotry >_< pwayews >_< as 
OwO evew UwU I uWu see! 
Faw. uWu Peace, ÚwÚ good >_< pintpot. uWu Peace, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; tickwe-bwain.- ^w^ Hawwy, UwU I UwU do 
nyot >w< onwy :3 mawvew :3 whewe xDD thou >_> spendest >w< thy time, >_> but awso >w< how xDD thou 
awt accompanyied. For ^w^ though x3 the >_< camomiwe, x3 the ^.^ mowe >w< it >_> is UwU twodden 
;;w;; on, x3 the fastew >w< it >_> gwows, yet youth, x3 the ^.^ mowe >w< it >_> is ;;w;; wasted, x3 the 
:33 soonyew >w< it x3 weaws. :33 That xDD thou awt x3 my >_< son UwU I uWu have ;;w;; pawtwy >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's 
word, ;;w;; pawtwy x3 my UwU own :33 opinyion, >_> but ^.^ chiefwy :3 a villanous twick of 
^.^ thinye ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< foowish >_< hanging of >w< thy x3 nyethew >_< wip :3 that xDD doth 
:33 wawwant x3 me. ;;w;; If xDD then xDD thou be >_< son to uWu me, OwO hewe wies x3 the OwO point: >w< why, 
^.^ being >_< son to uWu me, awt xDD thou UwU so :3 pointed at? Shall x3 the blessed sun of 
heaven ^-^ pwuv :3 a ÚwÚ michew ÚwÚ and eat xDD bwackbewwies? ^-^ A ;;w;; question nyot to be 
:3 ask'd. Shall x3 the >_< son of England ^-^ pwuv :3 a UwU thief ÚwÚ and OwO take >_> puwses? ^-^ A 
;;w;; question to be :3 ask'd. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ thing, ^w^ Hawwy, which xDD thou x3 hast 
often heard :33 of, ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ knyown to UwU many uWu in UwU ouw ÚwÚ wand ^.^ by x3 the xDD nyame 
of uWu pitch. This uWu pitch, >_< as UwU ancient ^.^ wwitews UwU do wepowt, xDD doth defile; 
UwU so xDD doth x3 the >_< company xDD thou keepest. For, ^w^ Hawwy, nyow UwU I UwU do nyot speak 
to uWu thee uWu in dwink, >_> but uWu in teaws; nyot uWu in x3 pweasuwe, >_> but uWu in :3 passion; 
nyot uWu in wowds >_> onwy, >_> but uWu in :3 woes ^w^ awso: ÚwÚ and yet there >_> is :3 a virtuous 
x3 man ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu have often noted uWu in >w< thy xDD company, >_> but UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :33 his 
nyame. 
UwU Pwince. >_> What ^w^ mannyew of ^w^ man, >w< an >w< it ^.^ wike x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty? 
Faw. ^-^ A xDD goodwy portly ^w^ man, :33 i' ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ cowpuwent; of :3 a cheerful 
look, :3 a pweasing >_< eye, ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU most x3 nyobwe ^-^ cawwiage; x3 and, >_< as UwU I >_< think, 
:33 his age x3 some x3 fifty, or, :33 by'w Lady, :33 incwinying to threescore; ÚwÚ and 
nyow UwU I remember uWu me, :33 his xDD nyame >_> is >w< Fawstaff. ;;w;; If :3 that x3 man >_> shouwd be 
wewdwy, ^w^ given, ^.^ he :33 deceiveth OwO me; for, ^w^ Hawwy, UwU I >_> see viwtue uWu in :33 his 
OwO wooks. ;;w;; If xDD then x3 the twee OwO may be ÚwÚ knyown ^.^ by x3 the >_> fwuit, >_< as x3 the ^w^ fwuit 
^.^ by x3 the tree, >w< then, pewemptowiwy UwU I speak :33 it, there >_> is viwtue uWu in 
:3 that >w< Fawstaff. xDD Him >_< keep OwO with, x3 the xDD west :3 banyish. xDD And tell ;;w;; me now, 
xDD thou naughty vawwet, tell ;;w;; me :3 whewe x3 hast xDD thou :33 been ÚwÚ this OwO month? 
UwU Pwince. uWu Dost xDD thou speak ^.^ wike :3 a UwU king? Do xDD thou stand fow uWu me, ÚwÚ and I'll 
:33 pway x3 my :33 fathew. 
Faw. ;;w;; Depose me? ;;w;; If xDD thou dost >w< it half UwU so gravely, UwU so majestically, 
both uWu in ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and >w< mattew, ^w^ hang ;;w;; me x3 up ^.^ by x3 the heels fow :3 a 
wabbit-suckew ow :3 a xDD pouwtew's ;;w;; hawe. 
UwU Pwince. xDD Weww, OwO hewe UwU I ^w^ am set. 
Faw. xDD And OwO hewe UwU I ^.^ stand. UwU Judge, x3 my ^w^ mastews. 
UwU Pwince. >_> Nyow, ^w^ Hawwy, >_> whence come you? 
Faw. OwO My x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, from ^w^ Eastcheap. 
UwU Pwince. uWu The >w< compwaints UwU I hear of uWu thee OwO awe gwievous. 
Faw. ^-^ 'Sbwood, x3 my uWu wowd, ;;w;; they OwO awe fawse! Nyay, I'll tickwe OwO ye fow :3 a 
xDD young >_< pwince, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
UwU Pwince. Sweawest UwU thou, >_< ungwacious boy? ÚwÚ Hencefowth ^w^ nye'ew wook on x3 me. 
^.^ Thou awt >_< viowentwy cawwied OwO away from grace. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a ^.^ deviw 
haunts uWu thee uWu in x3 the xDD wikenyess of >w< an ;;w;; owd :33 fat xDD man; :3 a tun of x3 man >_> is 
>w< thy companyion. Why dost xDD thou convewse with :3 that UwU twunk of >_< humouws, 
:3 that bolting :33 hutch of beastwinyess, :3 that ^-^ swoww'n parcel of 
dropsies, :3 that >_> huge ;;w;; bombawd of sack, :3 that UwU stuff'd x3 cwoakbag of 
guts, :3 that OwO woasted >w< Mannyingtwee :33 ox with x3 the :3 pudding uWu in :33 his bewwy, 
:3 that reverend xDD vice, :3 that ^w^ gwey iniquity, :3 that >w< fathew ^-^ wuffian, :3 that 
vanyity uWu in years? ^-^ Whewein >_> is ^.^ he UwU good, >_> but to >_> taste ^-^ sack ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dwink 
:33 it? wherein neat ÚwÚ and xDD cweanwy, >_> but to ^w^ cawve :3 a ^.^ capon ÚwÚ and eat :33 it? 
wherein ^w^ cunnying, >_> but uWu in :3 cwaft? wherein xDD cwafty, >_> but uWu in villany? 
wherein xDD viwwanyous, >_> but uWu in aww things? wherein wowthy, >_> but uWu in 
nyothing? 
Faw. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw Gwace ^.^ wouwd OwO take ;;w;; me with OwO you. ;;w;; Whom means x3 youw 
Gwace? 
UwU Pwince. :33 That villanous UwU abominyabwe misleader of youth, :33 Fawstaff, 
:3 that ;;w;; owd white-bearded ;;w;; Satan. 
Faw. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 the x3 man UwU I :33 knyow. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou >_> dost. 
Faw. OwO But to >_> say UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ mowe x3 hawm uWu in ^.^ him than uWu in mysewf :3 wewe to >_> say 
^.^ mowe than UwU I :33 knyow. :33 That ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; owd uWu (the ^.^ mowe x3 the >_< pity) :33 his ^-^ white 
>_< haiws UwU do >_> witnyess uWu it; >_> but :3 that ^.^ he >_> is :3 (saving x3 youw x3 wevewence) :3 a 
whoremaster, :3 that UwU I ;;w;; uttewwy deny. ;;w;; If ^-^ sack ÚwÚ and ^-^ sugaw be :3 a ^w^ fauwt, 
^w^ God OwO hewp x3 the OwO wicked! ;;w;; If to be ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and ^.^ mewwy be :3 a ^w^ sin, xDD then UwU many 
>w< an ;;w;; owd host :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> is ^w^ damn'd. ;;w;; If to be :33 fat be to be hated, 
xDD then Phawaoh's lean ;;w;; kinye OwO awe to be >w< wuvd. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
^-^ Banyish Peto, banyish xDD Bawdowph, banyish ;;w;; Poins; >_> but fow x3 sweet x3 Jack 
:33 Fawstaff, uWu kind x3 Jack :33 Fawstaff, true x3 Jack :33 Fawstaff, uWu vawiant x3 Jack 
:33 Fawstaff, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^.^ mowe uWu vawiant x3 being, >_< as ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ;;w;; owd x3 Jack 
:33 Fawstaff, banyish nyot ^.^ him >w< thy Harry's xDD company, banyish nyot ^.^ him >w< thy 
Harry's UwU company. ^-^ Banyish uWu pwump Jack, ÚwÚ and banyish aww x3 the ;;w;; wowwd! 
UwU Pwince. UwU I UwU do, UwU I :33 wiww. :3 [A knocking heard.] 
UwU [Exeunt Hostess, Fwancis, ÚwÚ and Bawdowph.] 

Entew xDD Bawdowph, >w< wunnying. 

Bawd. >_< O, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! x3 the shewiff with :3 a UwU most monstwous ;;w;; watch 
>_> is uWu at x3 the UwU doow. 
Faw. Out, OwO ye UwU wogue! >_> Pway x3 out x3 the play. UwU I uWu have much to >_> say uWu in x3 the 
behawf of :3 that >w< Fawstaff. 

Entew x3 the Hostess. 

Host. x3 O Jesu, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
UwU Pwince. :33 Heigh, ^-^ heigh, x3 the ^.^ deviw :33 wides ;;w;; upon :3 a :33 fiddwestick! 
x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
Host. uWu The shewiff ÚwÚ and aww x3 the ;;w;; watch OwO awe uWu at x3 the UwU doow. ^-^ They OwO awe come 
to ^-^ seawch x3 the ÚwÚ house. Shall UwU I wet them in? 
Faw. uWu Dost xDD thou heaw, OwO Haw? xDD Nyevew caww :3 a true ^.^ piece of gowd :3 a 
xDD countewfeit. ^.^ Thou awt ÚwÚ essentiawwy ^-^ mad ^-^ without ÚwÚ seeming :3 so. 
UwU Pwince. xDD And xDD thou :3 a natural x3 cowawd ^-^ without :3 instinct. 
Faw. UwU I UwU deny x3 youw uWu majow. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww UwU deny x3 the ^w^ shewiff, so; >_> if >_> nyot, 
wet ^.^ him enter. ;;w;; If UwU I :33 become nyot :3 a xDD cawt >_< as weww >_< as anyothew ^w^ man, :3 a 
pwague on x3 my x3 bwinging ^-^ up! UwU I UwU hope UwU I UwU shaww >_< as >w< soon be xDD stwangwed 
with :3 a hawtew >_< as anyothew. 
UwU Pwince. Go hide uWu thee x3 behind x3 the arras. uWu The xDD west walk, x3 up abuv. 
>_> Nyow, x3 my mastews, fow :3 a true OwO face ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good ^w^ conscience. 
Faw. UwU Both which UwU I uWu have uWu had; >_> but uWu theiw uWu date >_> is ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe 
I'll hide x3 me. ÚwÚ Exit. 
UwU Pwince. ;;w;; Caww uWu in x3 the sheriff. 
UwU [Exeunt Manyent x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and Peto.] 

Entew ÚwÚ Shewiff ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 Cawwiew. 

>_> Nyow, >_< Mastew ÚwÚ Shewiff, >_> what >_> is x3 youw xDD wiww with me? 
UwU Shew. ^.^ Fiwst, UwU pawdon uWu me, x3 my OwO wowd. ^-^ A :33 hue ÚwÚ and cwy 
>_< Hath fowwowed xDD cewtain ;;w;; men >w< unto ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ house. 
UwU Pwince. >_> What men? 
UwU Shew. x3 Onye of them >_> is weww ^-^ knyown, x3 my >_> gwacious wowd- 
^-^ A gwoss :33 fat man. 
:33 Cawwiew. ;;w;; As :33 fat >_< as >_> buttew. 
UwU Pwince. uWu The ^w^ man, UwU I UwU do :33 assuwe UwU you, >_> is nyot UwU hewe, 
For UwU I mysewf uWu at ÚwÚ this time uWu have xDD empwoy'd ^.^ him. 
^.^ And, ^w^ shewiff, UwU I xDD wiww :33 engage x3 my ;;w;; wowd to uWu thee 
:33 That UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ by to-mowwow dinner time 
>_< Send ^.^ him to answew ÚwÚ thee, ow xDD any ^w^ man, 
For ;;w;; anything ^.^ he UwU shaww be :3 chawg'd withal; 
xDD And UwU so wet ;;w;; me entweat xDD you OwO weave x3 the ÚwÚ house. 
UwU Shew. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. >_> Thewe OwO awe >w< two gentlemen 
:3 Have uWu in ÚwÚ this robbery wost >w< thwee :3 hundwed mawks. 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ It OwO may be :3 so. ;;w;; If ^.^ he uWu have wobb'd these men, 
>w< He UwU shaww be ^w^ answewabwe; ÚwÚ and UwU so farewell. 
UwU Shew. ^-^ Good night, x3 my x3 nyobwe OwO wowd. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I think >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ good morrow, >_> is >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
UwU Shew. >w< Indeed, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I think >w< it be >w< two OwO o'cwock. 
uWu Exit ^w^ [with Cawwiew]. 
UwU Pwince. This :3 oiwy wascaw >_> is ÚwÚ knyown >_< as weww >_< as Paul's. Go caww ^.^ him 
forth. 
^w^ Peto. >w< Fawstaff! xDD Fast ;;w;; asweep x3 behind x3 the arras, ÚwÚ and >_> snyowting ^.^ wike :3 a 
horse. 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ Hawk >w< how x3 hawd ^.^ he ^-^ fetches >_< bweath. Search :33 his >_> pockets. 
>w< He ^-^ seawcheth :33 his >_> pockets ÚwÚ and :33 findeth xDD cewtain ^-^ papews. 
>_> What x3 hast xDD thou >w< found? 
^w^ Peto. Nyothing >_> but papers, x3 my OwO wowd. 
UwU Pwince. :3 Wet's >_> see whit ;;w;; they >w< be. xDD Wead OwO them. 

^w^ Peto. [weads] UwU 'Item. ^-^ A x3 capon. ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ii OwO s. ii >_> d. 
>_> Item, ;;w;; Sauce. ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . UwU iiii >_> d. 
>_> Item, ^.^ Sack >w< two gawwons ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ;;w;; v OwO s. ÚwÚ viii >_> d. 
>_> Item, >_> Anchovies ÚwÚ and ^-^ sack ÚwÚ aftew x3 suppew. ii OwO s. OwO vi >_> d. 
>_> Item, x3 Bwead. ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . ^w^ . UwU ob.' 

UwU Pwince. x3 O UwU monstwous! >_> but one ^.^ hawfpennywowth of ^.^ bwead to ÚwÚ this 
intowewabwe deal of sack! >_> What there >_> is else, >_< keep close; we'll 
^w^ wead >w< it uWu at ^.^ mowe uWu advantage. >_> Thewe wet ^.^ him :33 sweep >w< tiww x3 day. I'll to 
x3 the court uWu in x3 the mownying ^w^ . We ^w^ must aww to x3 the waws. ÚwÚ and >w< thy :33 pwace 
UwU shaww be >w< honyouwabwe. I'll ;;w;; pwocuwe ÚwÚ this :33 fat ;;w;; wogue :3 a :3 chawge of 
>w< foot; ÚwÚ and UwU I knyow, :33 his :33 death xDD wiww be :3 a :33 mawch of >_< twewve >_< scowe. uWu The 
monyey UwU shaww be paid back again with uWu advantage. ^w^ Be with ;;w;; me betimes 
uWu in x3 the UwU mownying, ÚwÚ and UwU so ÚwÚ good morrow, ^w^ Peto. 
^w^ Peto. ^-^ Good morrow, ÚwÚ good x3 my OwO wowd. 
:33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT >_> III. Scene ^.^ I. 
Bangow. uWu The uWu Awchdeacon's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew x3 Hotspuw, Worcester, Lord Mortimer, OwO Owen >_< Gwendowew. 

Mort. ;;w;; These ÚwÚ pwomises OwO awe faiw, x3 the ;;w;; pawties x3 suwe, 
xDD And UwU ouw uWu induction full of :33 pwospewous ^-^ hope. 
^w^ Hot. Lord Mortimer, ÚwÚ and xDD cousin OwO Gwendowew, 
Will xDD you sit down? 
xDD And :33 uncwe Worcester. ^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon :3 it! 
UwU I uWu have fowgot x3 the map. 
OwO Gwend. :3 Nyo, OwO hewe >w< it >w< is. 
>_> Sit, xDD cousin :33 Pewcy; ^.^ sit, ÚwÚ good xDD cousin x3 Hotspuw, 
For ^.^ by :3 that xDD nyame >_< as ;;w;; oft >_< as :3 Wancastew 
^-^ Doth speak of UwU you, :33 his >_< cheek :33 wooks pawe, ÚwÚ and with 
^-^ A ;;w;; wising x3 sigh ^.^ he wisheth xDD you uWu in UwU heaven. 
^w^ Hot. xDD And xDD you uWu in >_> heww, >_< as ;;w;; oft >_< as ^.^ he x3 heaws 
OwO Owen ;;w;; Gwendowew ^-^ spoke uWu of. 
OwO Gwend. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu bwame ^.^ him. At x3 my :3 nyativity 
uWu The >w< fwont of heaven UwU was full of fiery >w< shapes 
Of ^.^ buwnying cwessets, ÚwÚ and uWu at x3 my birth 
uWu The fwame ÚwÚ and >_> huge >_< foundation of x3 the ^.^ eawth 
;;w;; Shak'd ^.^ wike :3 a cowawd. 
^w^ Hot. Why, UwU so >w< it ^.^ wouwd uWu have donye uWu at x3 the same >w< season, >_> if x3 youw 
;;w;; mothew's :33 cat xDD had >_> but kitten'd, ^w^ though >_> youwsewf xDD had >_< nyevew :33 been 
born. 
OwO Gwend. UwU I >_> say x3 the ^.^ eawth uWu did ;;w;; shake when UwU I UwU was born. 
^w^ Hot. xDD And UwU I >_> say x3 the ^.^ eawth UwU was nyot of x3 my UwU mind, 
;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ suppose >_< as feawing xDD you >w< it shook. 
OwO Gwend. uWu The heavens :3 wewe aww on ^w^ fiwe, x3 the ^.^ eawth uWu did ^w^ twembwe. 
^w^ Hot. >_< O, xDD then x3 the ^.^ eawth >_> shook to >_> see x3 the heavens on ^w^ fiwe, 
xDD And nyot uWu in feaw of x3 youw nyativity. 
^.^ Diseased ÚwÚ nyatuwe OwO oftentimes >_< bweaks fowth 
^w^ In ;;w;; stwange eruptions; ;;w;; oft x3 the teeming ^.^ eawth 
Is with :3 a uWu kind of ^w^ cowic ;;w;; pinch'd ÚwÚ and vex'd 
^-^ By x3 the imprisoning of ^-^ unwuwy wind 
OwO Within her womb, ^w^ which, fow >w< enwawgement striving, 
OwO Shakes x3 the ;;w;; owd beldame ^.^ eawth ÚwÚ and ^.^ toppwes down 
Steeples ÚwÚ and ;;w;; mossgwown UwU towews. At x3 youw birth 
Our :3 gwandam earth, xDD having ÚwÚ this >w< distemp'watuwe, 
^w^ In passion shook. 
OwO Gwend. Cousin, of UwU many ;;w;; men 
UwU I UwU do nyot UwU beaw these :33 cwossings. Give ;;w;; me OwO weave 
;;w;; To tell xDD you >_> once again :3 that uWu at x3 my birth 
uWu The >w< fwont of heaven UwU was full of fiery ^w^ shapes, 
uWu The UwU goats wan from x3 the >_< mountains, ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu hewds 
^.^ Wewe OwO stwangewy ;;w;; cwamowous to x3 the frighted ^-^ fiewds. 
;;w;; These signs uWu have uWu mawk'd ;;w;; me >_> extwaowdinyawy, 
xDD And aww x3 the ;;w;; couwses of x3 my >w< wife UwU do x3 show 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot uWu in x3 the ;;w;; woww of ^w^ common ^.^ men. 
Whewe >_> is ^.^ he >w< wiving, >w< cwipp'd uWu in with x3 the sea 
:33 That ^-^ chides x3 the uWu banks of England, :33 Scotwand, ÚwÚ Wawes, 
>_< Which ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; me ^w^ pupiw ow hath ^w^ wead to me? 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him x3 out :3 that >_> is >_> but xDD woman's >_< son 
UwU Can trace ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the tedious ways of awt 
xDD And howd ;;w;; me >_> pace uWu in >_> deep >w< expewiments. 
^w^ Hot. UwU I think there's nyo x3 man xDD speaks xDD bettew ÚwÚ Wewsh. I'll to uWu dinnyew. 
Mort. uWu Peace, xDD cousin :33 Pewcy; xDD you xDD wiww >_< make ^.^ him >_> mad. 
OwO Gwend. UwU I ^.^ can caww ;;w;; spiwits from x3 the ÚwÚ vasty deep. 
^w^ Hot. Why, UwU so ^.^ can I, ow UwU so ^.^ can xDD any xDD man; 
OwO But xDD wiww ;;w;; they come when xDD you UwU do caww fow them? 
OwO Gwend. Why, UwU I ^.^ can >_< teach UwU you, OwO cousin, to ÚwÚ command x3 the deviw. 
^w^ Hot. xDD And UwU I ^.^ can >_< teach ÚwÚ thee, x3 coz, to ^-^ shame x3 the >w< deviw- 
^-^ By :3 tewwing truth. Teww uWu twuth ÚwÚ and ^-^ shame x3 the deviw. 
;;w;; If xDD thou uWu have powew to >w< waise :3 him, ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him hithew, 
xDD And I'll be sworn UwU I uWu have powew to ^-^ shame ^.^ him x3 hence. 
>_< O, OwO whiwe xDD you x3 wive, tell uWu twuth ÚwÚ and ^-^ shame x3 the devil! 
Mort. ^.^ Come, come, nyo ^.^ mowe of ÚwÚ this :3 unpwofitabwe uWu chat. 
OwO Gwend. Thwee times hath Henwy :3 Bowingbwoke UwU made >_> head 
^w^ Against x3 my power; thrice from x3 the uWu banks of xDD Wye 
xDD And sandy-bottom'd uWu Sevewn uWu have UwU I sent ^.^ him 
x3 Bootwess ^.^ home ÚwÚ and ^w^ weathew-beaten back. 
^w^ Hot. x3 Home ^-^ without ^-^ boots, ÚwÚ and uWu in fouw >_> weathew xDD too? 
How ^w^ scapes ^.^ he >_< agues, uWu in x3 the >_> deviw's xDD nyame 
OwO Gwend. ^.^ Come, hewe's x3 the map. Shall ^.^ we OwO divide UwU ouw >w< wight 
x3 Accowding to UwU ouw >_> thweefowd order ^w^ ta'en? 
Mort. uWu The OwO Awchdeacon hath OwO divided >w< it 
^.^ Into >w< thwee :3 wimits xDD vewy >_> equawwy. 
England, from ÚwÚ Twent ÚwÚ and uWu Sevewn ^w^ hithewto, 
^-^ By south ÚwÚ and uWu east >_> is to x3 my ÚwÚ pawt >_< assign'd; 
All ÚwÚ westwawd, >_> Wawes ^w^ beyond x3 the uWu Sevewn >w< showe, 
xDD And aww x3 the ^.^ fewtiwe ÚwÚ wand within :3 that xDD bound, 
;;w;; To OwO Owen Glendower; x3 and, uWu deaw x3 coz, to xDD you 
uWu The :33 wemnyant nyowthwawd lying x3 off from ;;w;; Twent. 
xDD And UwU ouw indentures :3 twipawtite OwO awe drawn; 
>_< Which ^.^ being uWu seawed interchangeably 
(A business :3 that ÚwÚ this >w< nyight OwO may :3 execute), 
>_< To-mowwow, xDD cousin >w< Pewcy, xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I 
xDD And x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord of ÚwÚ Wowcestew xDD wiww uWu set fowth 
;;w;; To :3 meet x3 youw >w< fathew ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ Scottish ÚwÚ bowew, 
;;w;; As >_> is uWu appointed us, uWu at uWu Shwewsbuwy. 
OwO My >w< fathew ;;w;; Gwendowew >_> is nyot ready ^w^ yet, 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww ^.^ we >_< nyeed :33 his OwO hewp these ^.^ fouwteen days. 
:33 [To Gwend.] OwO Within :3 that xDD space xDD you OwO may uWu have drawn togethew 
uWu Youw tenyants, OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ nyeighbouwing >_< gentwemen. 
OwO Gwend. ^-^ A showtew time UwU shaww >_> send ;;w;; me to UwU you, :3 wowds; 
xDD And uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ conduct UwU shaww x3 youw ^.^ wadies come, 
Fwom ÚwÚ whom xDD you nyow ^w^ must ^.^ steaw ÚwÚ and OwO take nyo weave, 
For there xDD wiww be :3 a wowwd of UwU watew x3 shed 
>_> Upon x3 the >w< pawting of x3 youw ;;w;; wives ÚwÚ and OwO you. 
^w^ Hot. Methinks x3 my ^-^ moiety, ^.^ nyowth from ÚwÚ Buwton UwU hewe, 
^w^ In ;;w;; quantity equals nyot one of x3 youws. 
xDD See >w< how ÚwÚ this river x3 comes ;;w;; me :3 cwanking uWu in 
xDD And >w< cuts ;;w;; me from x3 the best of aww x3 my ÚwÚ wand 
^-^ A >_> huge ^-^ hawf-moon, :3 a monstwous x3 cantwe OwO out. 
I'll uWu have x3 the :3 cuwwent :33 iww ÚwÚ this :33 pwace >_< damm'd up, 
xDD And OwO hewe x3 the ÚwÚ smug ÚwÚ and >_> swivew ÚwÚ Twent UwU shaww >w< wun 
^w^ In :3 a x3 nyew :33 channyew >w< faiw ÚwÚ and evenly. 
^.^ It UwU shaww nyot wind with xDD such :3 a >_> deep :3 indent 
;;w;; To rob ;;w;; me of UwU so rich :3 a :3 bottom hewe. 
OwO Gwend. ÚwÚ Nyot :33 wind? ^.^ It UwU shaww, >w< it >w< must! >_> You >_> see >w< it UwU doth. 
Mort. Yea, >_> but 
>_> Mawk >w< how ^.^ he bears :33 his course, ÚwÚ and wuns ;;w;; me x3 up 
With ^.^ wike ^w^ advantage on x3 the othew side, 
^-^ Gewding x3 the >_< opposed continyent >_< as much 
;;w;; As on x3 the othew x3 side >w< it UwU takes from OwO you. 
Wor. Yea, >_> but :3 a xDD wittwe :3 chawge xDD wiww ÚwÚ twench ^.^ him OwO hewe 
xDD And on ÚwÚ this ^.^ nyowth x3 side x3 win ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ cape of land; 
xDD And xDD then ^.^ he wuns ^w^ stwaight ÚwÚ and xDD even. 
^w^ Hot. I'll uWu have >w< it :3 so. ^-^ A xDD wittwe :3 chawge xDD wiww UwU do :3 it. 
OwO Gwend. UwU I xDD wiww nyot uWu have >w< it ÚwÚ awt'wed. 
^w^ Hot. Will nyot you? 
OwO Gwend. :3 Nyo, nor xDD you UwU shaww not. 
^w^ Hot. Who UwU shaww >_> say ;;w;; me nyay? 
OwO Gwend. :3 Nyo, :3 that xDD wiww ^.^ I. 
^w^ Hot. Let ;;w;; me nyot understand xDD you :33 then; speak >w< it uWu in ÚwÚ Wewsh. 
OwO Gwend. UwU I ^.^ can speak Engwish, uWu wowd, >_< as weww >_< as uWu you; 
For UwU I UwU was ;;w;; twain'd x3 up uWu in x3 the :3 Engwish xDD couwt, 
UwU Whewe, ^.^ being >_> but >_> young, UwU I :33 fwamed to x3 the ^w^ hawp 
xDD Many >w< an :3 Engwish uWu ditty lovely weww, 
xDD And uWu gave x3 the >_> tongue :3 a helpful :33 ownyament- 
^-^ A viwtue :3 that UwU was >_< nyevew :3 seen uWu in OwO you. 
^w^ Hot. OwO Mawwy, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad of >w< it with aww x3 my :33 heawt! 
UwU I xDD had rather be :3 a kitten ÚwÚ and cwy ^.^ mew 
Than one of these same metwe ÚwÚ bawwet-mongews. 
UwU I xDD had rather hear :3 a ^-^ bwazen canstick >_> tuwn'd 
:33 Ow :3 a xDD dwy wheew OwO gwate on x3 the axwetwee, 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ wouwd uWu set x3 my teeth >_< nyothing on >_> edge, 
Nyothing UwU so much >_< as x3 mincing uWu poetwy. 
'Tis ^.^ wike x3 the ;;w;; fowc'd :33 gait of :3 a shuffling ^.^ nyag, 
OwO Gwend. ^.^ Come, xDD you UwU shaww uWu have ÚwÚ Twent >_< tuwn'd. 
^w^ Hot. UwU I UwU do nyot >w< cawe. I'll UwU give thrice UwU so much ÚwÚ wand 
;;w;; To xDD any OwO weww-desewving fwiend; 
OwO But uWu in x3 the uWu way of xDD bawgain, mark OwO ye uWu me, 
I'll OwO caviw on x3 the :3 nyinth ÚwÚ pawt of :3 a >_< haiw 
^w^ Awe x3 the indentures xDD dwawn? Shall ^.^ we be gone? 
OwO Gwend. uWu The ;;w;; moon uWu shinyes fair; xDD you OwO may OwO away ^.^ by OwO nyight. 
I'll ^.^ haste x3 the xDD wwitew, ÚwÚ and withal 
^.^ Bweak with x3 youw ;;w;; wives of x3 youw :3 depawtuwe x3 hence. 
UwU I ^w^ am :33 afwaid x3 my daughter xDD wiww >w< wun mad, 
^w^ So much ^.^ she :33 doteth on her Mortimer. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Mort. OwO Fie, xDD cousin ÚwÚ Pewcy! >w< how xDD you OwO cwoss x3 my ;;w;; fathew! 
^w^ Hot. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU choose. Sometimes ^.^ he ^-^ angews ;;w;; me 
With :3 tewwing ;;w;; me of x3 the xDD mowdwawp ÚwÚ and x3 the ant, 
Of x3 the dreamer Merlin ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 pwophecies, 
xDD And of :3 a >_> dwagon ÚwÚ and :3 a finwess ;;w;; fish, 
^-^ A ^.^ cwip-wing'd :33 gwiffin ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD mouwten >w< waven, 
^-^ A couching wion ÚwÚ and :3 a wamping cat, 
xDD And xDD such :3 a deal of ÚwÚ skimbwe-skambwe ^w^ stuff 
;;w;; As puts ;;w;; me from x3 my ÚwÚ faith. UwU I tell xDD you what- 
>w< He hewd ;;w;; me >w< wast >w< nyight uWu at least >w< nyinye >_> houws 
^w^ In reckoning x3 up x3 the sevewaw devils' nyames 
:33 That :3 wewe :33 his ^.^ wackeys. UwU I cried 'hum,' ÚwÚ and UwU 'Weww, OwO go ;;w;; to!' 
OwO But uWu mawk'd ^.^ him nyot :3 a OwO wowd. >_< O, ^.^ he >_> is >_< as tedious 
;;w;; As :3 a ^w^ tiwed horse, :3 a x3 waiwing :33 wife; 
Wowse than :3 a >w< smoky ÚwÚ house. UwU I xDD had rather ^w^ wive 
With :3 cheese ÚwÚ and gawwic uWu in :3 a windmill uWu faw 
Than >w< feed on >_< cates ÚwÚ and uWu have ^.^ him tawk to ;;w;; me 
^w^ In xDD any ^-^ summew ;;w;; house uWu in :33 Chwistendom). 
Mort. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, ^.^ he >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy gentweman, 
:3 Exceedingwy weww wead, ÚwÚ and >_< pwofited 
^w^ In ;;w;; stwange >_> conceawments, uWu vawiant >_< as :3 a wion, 
xDD And wondwous >_< affabwe, ÚwÚ and >_< as >_> bountifuw 
;;w;; As >_< minyes of UwU India. Shall UwU I tell UwU you, cousin? 
>w< He ÚwÚ howds x3 youw xDD tempew uWu in :3 a xDD high wespect 
xDD And curbs >_< himsewf even of :33 his natural ;;w;; scope 
x3 When xDD you come :33 'cwoss :33 his humouw. Faith, ^.^ he does. 
UwU I :33 wawwant xDD you :3 that x3 man >_> is nyot ^.^ awive 
^.^ Might UwU so uWu have tempted ^.^ him >_< as xDD you uWu have donye 
Without x3 the >_> taste of danger ÚwÚ and reproof. 
OwO But UwU do nyot use >w< it :3 oft, wet ;;w;; me entweat OwO you. 
Wor. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too wilful-blame, 
xDD And xDD since x3 youw xDD coming ÚwÚ hithew uWu have donye enough 
;;w;; To put ^.^ him quite ;;w;; besides :33 his OwO patience. 
>_> You ^w^ must >_< nyeeds ÚwÚ weawn, uWu wowd, to ;;w;; amend ÚwÚ this ^-^ fauwt. 
;;w;; Though x3 sometimes >w< it x3 show greatness, couwage, blood- 
xDD And ^w^ that's x3 the deawest xDD gwace >w< it wendews :3 you- 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO oftentimes >w< it xDD doth xDD pwesent UwU hawsh rage, 
Defect of :3 mannyews, ^.^ want of guvwnment, 
^w^ Pwide, UwU haughtinyess, :33 opinyion, ÚwÚ and uWu disdain; 
uWu The least of which >_> haunting :3 a nyobweman 
Loseth men's hearts, ÚwÚ and >w< weaves x3 behind :3 a stain 
>_> Upon x3 the beauty of aww parts >_< besides, 
Beguiling them of xDD commendation. 
^w^ Hot. xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ am schoow'd. ^-^ Good ^w^ mannyews be x3 youw uWu speed! 
:3 Hewe come UwU ouw ^-^ wives, ÚwÚ and wet >_> us OwO take UwU ouw >_< weave. 

Entew ;;w;; Gwendowew with x3 the Ladies. 

Mort. This >_> is x3 the deadwy x3 spite :3 that ^-^ angews me- 
OwO My >w< wife ^.^ can speak nyo Engwish, UwU I nyo ÚwÚ Wewsh. 
OwO Gwend. OwO My daughter >_> weeps; ^.^ she xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ pawt with uWu you; 
OwO She'ww be :3 a soldier :3 too, ^.^ she'ww to x3 the waws. 
Mort. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ fathew, tell her :3 that ^.^ she ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< aunt ^-^ Pewcy 
Shall ;;w;; fowwow uWu in x3 youw ÚwÚ conduct :3 speediwy. 
;;w;; Gwendowew xDD speaks to her uWu in OwO Wewsh, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ^-^ answews 
^.^ him uWu in x3 the :33 same. 
OwO Gwend. :33 She >_> is despewate hewe. ^-^ A >_> peevish >w< sewf-wiww'd >w< hawwotwy, 
x3 Onye :3 that nyo :3 pewsuasion ^.^ can UwU do ÚwÚ good ^w^ upon. 
uWu The xDD Wady xDD speaks uWu in ÚwÚ Wewsh. 
Mort. UwU I understand >w< thy OwO wooks. :33 That OwO pwetty x3 Wewsh 
>_< Which xDD thou >_< pouwest down from these xDD swewwing heavens 
UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too :3 pewfect UwU in; x3 and, >_> but fow UwU shame, 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a xDD Bawwey >_> shouwd UwU I answew thee. 
uWu The xDD Wady again uWu in ÚwÚ Wewsh. 
UwU I understand >w< thy OwO kisses, ÚwÚ and xDD thou >_> minye, 
xDD And ^w^ that's :3 a :33 feewing ^.^ disputation. 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew be :3 a twuant, xDD wuv, 
Tiww UwU I uWu have ^w^ weawnt >w< thy :33 wanguage: fow >w< thy >_> tongue 
:3 Makes x3 Wewsh >_< as x3 sweet >_< as x3 ditties ;;w;; highwy OwO penn'd, 
>w< Sung ^.^ by :3 a >w< faiw >_< queen uWu in :3 a :33 summew's >_< bow'w, 
With ravishing division, to her >_< wute. 
OwO Gwend. Nyay, >_> if xDD you :33 mewt, xDD then xDD wiww ^.^ she >w< wun >_> mad. 
uWu The xDD Wady xDD speaks again uWu in ÚwÚ Wewsh. 
Mort. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ ignyowance itsewf uWu in x3 this! 
OwO Gwend. :33 She UwU bids xDD you on x3 the >_< wanton wushes uWu way xDD you down 
xDD And xDD west x3 youw ^-^ gentwe >_> head ;;w;; upon her UwU wap, 
xDD And ^.^ she xDD wiww ^.^ sing x3 the ÚwÚ song :3 that xDD pweaseth xDD you 
xDD And on x3 youw >_> eyewids >_< cwown x3 the god of sweep, 
Charming x3 youw :3 bwood with pweasing heavinyess, 
^.^ Making xDD such ^.^ diffewence 'twixt wake ÚwÚ and :33 sweep 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the ^.^ diffewence betwixt day ÚwÚ and >w< nyight 
uWu The >_> houw >w< befowe x3 the >_< heavenwy-hawnyess'd ÚwÚ team 
UwU Begins :33 his golden ^w^ pwogwess uWu in x3 the :33 East. 
Mort. With aww x3 my >_< heawt I'll sit ÚwÚ and hear her ;;w;; sing. 
^-^ By :3 that time xDD wiww UwU ouw ^-^ book, UwU I >_< think, be UwU dwawn. 
OwO Gwend. Do >_> so, 
xDD And UwU those musicians :3 that UwU shaww :33 pway to xDD you 
Hang uWu in x3 the ^w^ aiw :3 a thousand x3 weagues from hence, 
xDD And ^w^ stwaight ;;w;; they UwU shaww be hewe. >_> Sit, ÚwÚ and xDD attend. 
^w^ Hot. ^.^ Come, ^.^ Kate, xDD thou awt :3 pewfect uWu in lying down. ^.^ Come, quick, 
quick, :3 that UwU I OwO may uWu way x3 my >_> head uWu in >w< thy :3 wap. 
xDD Wady P. ^w^ Go, OwO ye ^-^ giddy >_< goose. 
uWu The uWu music xDD pways. 
^w^ Hot. Now UwU I >_> pewceive x3 the ^.^ deviw :3 undewstands Welsh; 
xDD And UwU 'tis nyo marvel, be >_> is UwU so uWu humowous. 
xDD By'w Lady, ^.^ he >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 musician. 
xDD Wady P. UwU Then >_> shouwd xDD you be >_< nyothing >_> but musicaw; fow xDD you OwO awe 
;;w;; awtogethew guvwn'd ^.^ by :33 humouws. Lie still, OwO ye :33 thief, ÚwÚ and hear x3 the 
uWu wady ^.^ sing uWu in ÚwÚ Wewsh. 
^w^ Hot. UwU I xDD had rather hear Lady, x3 my bwach, howl uWu in >_< Iwish. 
xDD Wady P. Wouldst xDD thou uWu have >w< thy >_> head broken? 
^w^ Hot. No. 
xDD Wady P. UwU Then be xDD stiww. 
^w^ Hot. ^w^ Nyeithew! 'Tis :3 a xDD woman's ^-^ fauwt. 
xDD Wady P. Now ^w^ God OwO hewp uWu thee! 
^w^ Hot. ;;w;; To x3 the x3 Wewsh >_> wady's :3 bed. 
xDD Wady P. x3 What's ^-^ that? 
^w^ Hot. ;;w;; Peace! ^.^ she UwU sings. 
:3 Hewe x3 the xDD Wady ^-^ sings :3 a x3 Wewsh :33 song. 
^.^ Come, ^.^ Kate, I'll uWu have x3 youw ÚwÚ song UwU too. 
xDD Wady P. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> minye, uWu in ÚwÚ good sooth. 
^w^ Hot. ÚwÚ Nyot >_< youws, uWu in ÚwÚ good sooth? Heawt! xDD you >_< sweaw ^.^ wike :3 a 
xDD comfit-makew's x3 wife. 'Not UwU you, uWu in ÚwÚ good >_< sooth!' ÚwÚ and 'as true >_< as UwU I 
live!' ÚwÚ and 'as ^w^ God UwU shaww mend UwU me!' ÚwÚ and 'as >_< suwe >_< as UwU day!' 
xDD And uWu givest xDD such sarcenet surety fow >w< thy >w< oaths 
;;w;; As >_> if xDD thou ^w^ nye'ew ÚwÚ wawk'st further than >_> Finsbuwy. 
Swear uWu me, ^.^ Kate, ^.^ wike :3 a uWu wady >_< as xDD thou awt, 
^-^ A ÚwÚ good mouth-filling uWu oath; ÚwÚ and OwO weave OwO 'in ÚwÚ sooth' 
xDD And xDD such ^w^ pwotest of ÚwÚ peppew ^-^ gingewbwead 
;;w;; To vewvet ^-^ guawds ÚwÚ and Sunday >w< citizens. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; sing. 
xDD Wady P. UwU I xDD wiww nyot ;;w;; sing. 
^w^ Hot. 'Tis x3 the :3 nyext uWu way to turn ^w^ taiwow ow be wedbweast-teachew. ^-^ An 
x3 the indentures be x3 dwawn, I'll OwO away within these >w< two ^-^ houws; ÚwÚ and UwU so 
come uWu in when OwO ye :33 wiww. ÚwÚ Exit. 
OwO Gwend. ^.^ Come, come, Lord Mortimer. >_> You OwO awe >_< as slow 
;;w;; As :3 hot Lord ^-^ Pewcy >_> is on fire to ÚwÚ go. 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this UwU ouw ^w^ book >_> is drawn; we'll >_> but ÚwÚ seaw, 
xDD And xDD then to UwU howse immediately. 
Mort. With aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The OwO Pawace. 

Entew x3 the OwO King, Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. 

;;w;; King. ;;w;; Wowds, UwU give >_> us >_< weave. uWu The Prince of >_> Wawes ÚwÚ and UwU I 
:3 Must uWu have x3 some >_> pwivate >_> confewence; >_> but be nyeaw uWu at uWu hand, 
For ^.^ we UwU shaww presently uWu have >_< nyeed of OwO you. 
Exeunt >w< Wowds. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< whethew ^w^ God xDD wiww uWu have >w< it >_> so, 
For x3 some displeasing OwO sewvice UwU I uWu have :33 donye, 
^.^ That, uWu in :33 his secret doom, x3 out of x3 my :3 bwood 
^-^ He'ww breed >_< wevengement ÚwÚ and :3 a scourge fow OwO me; 
OwO But xDD thou dost uWu in >w< thy >w< passages of >w< wife 
^-^ Make ;;w;; me ^-^ bewieve :3 that xDD thou awt >w< onwy uWu mawk'd 
For x3 the :3 hot UwU vengeance ÚwÚ and x3 the wod of heaven 
;;w;; To punyish x3 my >_> mistweadings. Teww ;;w;; me else, 
Could xDD such UwU inyowdinyate ÚwÚ and wow desires, 
>w< Such OwO poow, xDD such x3 bawe, xDD such ^w^ wewd, xDD such >_> mean UwU attempts, 
>w< Such ^-^ bawwen UwU pweasuwes, wude uWu society, 
;;w;; As xDD thou awt match'd withal ÚwÚ and uWu gwafted ^.^ to, 
OwO Accompany x3 the :33 gweatnyess of >w< thy :3 bwood 
xDD And howd uWu theiw ^w^ wevew with >w< thy princely ÚwÚ heawt? 
UwU Pwince. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I couwd 
uWu Quit aww :3 offences with >_< as ^-^ cweaw UwU excuse 
;;w;; As weww >_< as UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ doubtwess UwU I ^.^ can OwO puwge 
xDD Mysewf of UwU many UwU I ^w^ am UwU chawged uWu withaw. 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD such x3 extenyuation wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ beg 
As, uWu in >_< wepwoof of UwU many ;;w;; tawes ^-^ devis'd, 
>_< Which ;;w;; oft x3 the ear of :33 gweatnyess >_< nyeeds ^w^ must UwU beaw 
^-^ By, x3 smiwing ^w^ pickthanks ÚwÚ and UwU base xDD nyewsmongews, 
UwU I may, fow x3 some ^.^ things true wherein x3 my :33 youth 
>_< Hath uWu fauwty ^-^ wand'wed ÚwÚ and irregular, 
xDD And UwU pawdon on ;;w;; wiwy true ;;w;; submission. 
;;w;; King. ^w^ God UwU pawdon uWu thee! ÚwÚ Yet wet ;;w;; me OwO wondew, ^w^ Hawwy, 
At >w< thy >_> affections, which UwU do howd :3 a *hugs tightly* wing, 
>_< Quite from x3 the :33 fwight of aww >w< thy ÚwÚ ancestows. 
x3 Thy :33 pwace uWu in Counciw xDD thou x3 hast wudewy :3 wost, 
>_< Which ^.^ by >w< thy :3 youngew ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is supplied, 
xDD And awt almost >w< an x3 awien to x3 the heawts 
Of aww x3 the court ÚwÚ and pwinces of x3 my blood. 
uWu The UwU hope ÚwÚ and expectation of >w< thy time 
Is ruin'd, ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 souw of every x3 man 
:33 Pwopheticawwy UwU do OwO fowethink >w< thy UwU faww. 
xDD Had UwU I UwU so ^.^ wavish of x3 my x3 pwesence ^-^ been, 
^w^ So common-hacknyey'd uWu in x3 the eyes of men, 
^w^ So ÚwÚ stawe ÚwÚ and cheap to uWu vuwgaw xDD company, 
>_< Opinyion, :3 that uWu did OwO hewp ;;w;; me to x3 the :3 cwown, 
xDD Had still :33 kept loyal to >w< possession 
xDD And left ;;w;; me uWu in reputeless banishment, 
^-^ A fewwow of nyo mark nor likelihood. 
^-^ By ^.^ being seldom uWu seen, UwU I couwd nyot stir 
But, ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ comet, UwU I Was x3 wond'wed OwO at; 
:33 That ;;w;; men ^.^ wouwd tell uWu theiw chiwdwen, 'This >_> is ;;w;; he!' 
:3 Othews ^.^ wouwd say, :3 'Whewe? >_< Which >_> is Bolingbroke?' 
xDD And xDD then UwU I OwO stowe aww >w< couwtesy from ^.^ heaven, 
xDD And dwess'd mysewf uWu in xDD such humility 
:33 That UwU I uWu did pluck OwO awwegiance from men's hearts, 
xDD Woud ^w^ shouts ÚwÚ and sawutations from uWu theiw mouths 
Even uWu in x3 the x3 pwesence of x3 the ^.^ cwownyed ;;w;; King. 
^-^ Thus uWu did UwU I >_< keep x3 my ÚwÚ pewson >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and ^w^ nyew, 
OwO My >_> pwesence, ^.^ wike :3 a wobe UwU pontificaw, 
Nye'ew :3 seen >_> but x3 wond'wed OwO at; ÚwÚ and UwU so x3 my state, 
Sewdom >_> but x3 sumptuous, ^w^ show'd ^.^ wike :3 a >_> feast 
xDD And ^.^ won ^.^ by x3 wawenyess xDD such solemnity. 
uWu The ^.^ skipping OwO King, ^.^ he :33 ambwed x3 up ÚwÚ and down 
With shallow >w< jestews ÚwÚ and >_< wash OwO bavin UwU wits, 
ÚwÚ Soon kindled ÚwÚ and >w< soon >w< buwnt; carded :33 his ^w^ state; 
Mingwed :33 his xDD woyawty with UwU cap'wing uWu foows; 
xDD Had :33 his great xDD nyame profaned with uWu theiw scorns 
xDD And uWu gave :33 his ^-^ countenyance, OwO against :33 his :33 nyame, 
;;w;; To laugh uWu at gibing >_< boys ÚwÚ and stand x3 the :3 push 
Of every beardless :33 vain xDD compawative; 
^w^ Gwew :3 a >_< companyion to x3 the ^w^ common ÚwÚ stweets, 
OwO Enfeoff'd >_< himsewf to OwO popuwawity; 
^.^ That, ^.^ being dawwy ^.^ swawwowed ^.^ by men's ^w^ eyes, 
^-^ They surfeited with honey ÚwÚ and began 
;;w;; To ^-^ woathe x3 the >_> taste of sweetness, xDD wheweof :3 a xDD wittwe 
uWu Mowe than :3 a xDD wittwe >_> is ^.^ by much ^w^ too :33 much. 
So, when ^.^ he xDD had ;;w;; occasion to be uWu seen, 
>w< He UwU was >_> but >_< as x3 the ;;w;; cuckoo >_> is uWu in ^.^ Junye, 
Heard, nyot ^w^ wegawded- uWu seen, >_> but with xDD such eyes 
As, >w< sick ÚwÚ and bwunted with :33 communyity, 
OwO Affowd nyo >_< extwaowdinyawy UwU gaze, 
>w< Such >_< as >_> is UwU bent on ^-^ unwike ^.^ majesty 
x3 When >w< it uWu shinyes seldom uWu in ^w^ admiwing eyes; 
OwO But rather dwows'd ÚwÚ and UwU hung uWu theiw >_> eyewids ;;w;; down, 
Slept uWu in :33 his >w< face, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wend'wed xDD such uWu aspect 
;;w;; As cwoudy ;;w;; men use to uWu theiw advewsawies, 
uWu Being with :33 his x3 pwesence OwO gwutted, ;;w;; gowg'd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fuww. 
xDD And uWu in :3 that xDD vewy xDD winye, ^w^ Hawwy, >w< standest :3 thou; 
For xDD thou x3 hast wost >w< thy princely OwO pwiviwege 
With ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ pawticipation. ÚwÚ Nyot >w< an ^w^ eye 
OwO But >_> is >_> aweawy of >w< thy ^w^ common UwU sight, 
:3 Save >_> minye, which hath desir'd to >_> see uWu thee mowe; 
>_< Which nyow xDD doth :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have >w< it xDD do- 
^-^ Make ^w^ bwind itsewf with >_< foowish tendewnyess. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I UwU shaww heweaftew, x3 my ÚwÚ thwice-gwacious uWu wowd, 
^w^ Be ^.^ mowe :3 mysewf. 
;;w;; King. For aww x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
;;w;; As xDD thou awt to ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, UwU was Richard xDD then 
x3 When UwU I from Fwance uWu set :33 foot uWu at Ravenspurgh; 
xDD And even >_< as UwU I UwU was xDD then >_> is ^-^ Pewcy now. 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my sceptre, ÚwÚ and x3 my :3 souw to UwU boot, 
>w< He hath ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ wowthy ÚwÚ intewest to x3 the >w< state 
Than UwU thou, x3 the :3 shadow of succession; 
For of nyo wight, nor colour ^.^ wike to wight, 
>w< He xDD doth ^w^ fiww fields with :33 hawnyess uWu in x3 the ^w^ weawm, 
Tuwns >_> head OwO against x3 the ;;w;; wion's :3 awmed :3 jaws, 
^.^ And, uWu Being nyo ^.^ mowe uWu in >_> debt to years than UwU thou, 
Weads UwU ancient wowds ÚwÚ and reverend ÚwÚ Bishops on 
;;w;; To bwoody :3 battwes ÚwÚ and to >_< bwuising arms. 
>_> What >_< nyevew-dying honour hath ^.^ he ^w^ got 
^w^ Against OwO wenyowmed Douglas! x3 whose xDD high uWu deeds, 
>_< Whose :3 hot :33 incuwsions ÚwÚ and great xDD nyame uWu in :3 awms 
Howds from aww ^-^ sowdiews uWu chief majority 
xDD And x3 miwitawy ;;w;; titwe >w< capitaw 
^.^ Thwough aww x3 the OwO kingdoms :3 that :3 acknyowwedge ^-^ Chwist. 
uWu Thwice hath ÚwÚ this x3 Hotspuw, uWu Maws uWu in >_< swathwing cwothes, 
This xDD infant wawwiow, uWu in :33 his >w< entewpwises 
>_> Discomfited great Douglas; >_> ta'en ^.^ him ^w^ once, 
>_< Enwawged :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU made :3 a :33 fwiend of :3 him, 
;;w;; To ^w^ fiww x3 the xDD mouth of >_> deep ^-^ defiance x3 up 
xDD And ;;w;; shake x3 the uWu peace ÚwÚ and :33 safety of UwU ouw thwonye. 
xDD And >_> what >_> say xDD you to :3 this? >w< Pewcy, >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
uWu The >_> Awchbishop's Gwace of York, Dougwas, ^-^ Mowtimew 
Capituwate OwO against >_> us ÚwÚ and OwO awe :33 up. 
OwO But ^-^ whewefowe UwU do UwU I tell these nyews to uWu thee 
Why, ^w^ Hawwy, UwU do UwU I tell uWu thee of x3 my ;;w;; foes, 
>_< Which awt x3 my ÚwÚ nyeawest ÚwÚ and deawest ^-^ enyemy' 
^.^ Thou :3 that awt ^.^ wike UwU enyough, ^w^ thwough ^.^ vassaw ;;w;; feaw, 
>w< Base incwinyation, ÚwÚ and x3 the start of >w< spween, 
;;w;; To >w< fight OwO against ;;w;; me :33 undew ÚwÚ Pewcy's :33 pay, 
;;w;; To dog :33 his heels ÚwÚ and :3 cuwtsy uWu at :33 his ÚwÚ fwowns, 
;;w;; To x3 show >w< how much xDD thou awt ^-^ degenyewate. 
UwU Pwince. Do nyot think :3 so. >_> You UwU shaww nyot find >w< it :3 so. 
xDD And ^w^ God :33 fowgive them :3 that UwU so much uWu have >w< sway'd 
uWu Youw :33 Majesty's ÚwÚ good >_< thoughts OwO away from me! 
UwU I xDD wiww xDD wedeem aww ÚwÚ this on ÚwÚ Pewcy's >_> head 
^.^ And, uWu in x3 the xDD cwosing of x3 some glorious ^-^ day, 
^w^ Be bold to tell xDD you :3 that UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw x3 son, 
x3 When UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ weaw :3 a ^.^ gawment aww of bwood, 
xDD And stain x3 my ;;w;; favouws uWu in :3 a bwoody OwO mask, 
>_< Which, >w< wash'd away, UwU shaww scouw x3 my ^-^ shame with :3 it. 
xDD And :3 that UwU shaww be x3 the ^-^ day, whenye'ew >w< it :3 wights, 
:33 That ÚwÚ this same chiwd of honour ÚwÚ and OwO wenyown, 
This OwO gawwant x3 Hotspuw, ÚwÚ this UwU aww-pwaised UwU knyight, 
xDD And x3 youw ^w^ unthought of ÚwÚ Hawwy chance to ^.^ meet. 
For every honour :3 sitting on :33 his hewm, 
Wouwd ;;w;; they :3 wewe xDD muwtitudes, ÚwÚ and on x3 my >_> head 
OwO My UwU shames ;;w;; wedoubwed! For x3 the time xDD wiww come 
:33 That UwU I UwU shaww >_< make ÚwÚ this Nyowthewn :33 youth :3 exchange 
ÚwÚ His glorious >_< deeds fow x3 my indignyities. 
^-^ Pewcy >_> is >_> but x3 my factor, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; To engross x3 up glorious >_< deeds on x3 my :33 behawf; 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww caww ^-^ haww to UwU so :3 stwict :33 account 
:33 That ^.^ he UwU shaww render every :3 gwowy up, 
Yea, even x3 the uWu swightest :33 wowship of :33 his time, 
:33 Ow UwU I xDD wiww teaw x3 the reckoning from :33 his ;;w;; heawt. 
This uWu in x3 the xDD nyame of ^w^ God UwU I promise ^.^ hewe; 
uWu The which >_> if ^.^ he be pleas'd UwU I UwU shaww xDD pewfowm, 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty OwO may ^.^ sawve 
uWu The long-grown wounds of x3 my ^w^ intempewance. 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, x3 the >w< end of >w< wife >w< cancews aww bands, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ die :3 a :3 hundwed thousand >w< deaths 
Ere bweak x3 the xDD smawwest parcel of ÚwÚ this UwU vow. 
;;w;; King. ^-^ A :3 hundwed thousand ÚwÚ webews ^-^ die uWu in x3 this! 
^.^ Thou shalt uWu have :3 chawge ÚwÚ and suvweign :33 twust OwO hewein. 

Entew Bwunt. 

How now, ÚwÚ good Blunt? x3 Thy :33 wooks OwO awe full of ;;w;; speed. 
Bwunt. ^w^ So hath x3 the business :3 that UwU I come to speak uWu of. 
Lord ^-^ Mowtimew of :3 Scotwand hath sent ;;w;; wowd 
:33 That Dougwas ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 Engwish ÚwÚ webews >w< met 
uWu The ;;w;; eweventh of ÚwÚ this >_> month uWu at uWu Shwewsbuwy. 
^-^ A ^-^ mighty ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 feawfuw >_> head ;;w;; they awe, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ pwomises be :33 kept oiw every uWu hand, 
;;w;; As OwO evew ;;w;; off'wed fouw :33 pway uWu in :3 a state. 
;;w;; King. uWu The ^-^ Eaww of ^-^ Westmowewand uWu set fowth to-day; 
With ^.^ him x3 my x3 son, Lord John of ^-^ Wancastew; 
For ÚwÚ this :33 advewtisement >_> is five OwO days ^-^ owd. 
On >w< Wednyesday next, ^w^ Hawwy, xDD you UwU shaww uWu set fowwawd; 
On >w< Thuwsday ^.^ we ouwsewves xDD wiww >w< mawch. Our meeting 
Is ^.^ Bwidgenyowth; x3 and, ^w^ Hawwy, xDD you UwU shaww :33 mawch 
^.^ Thwough Gloucestershire; ^.^ by which ^w^ account, 
Our business >_< vawued, x3 some >_< twewve OwO days >w< hence 
Our general forces uWu at Bwidgenyowth UwU shaww ^.^ meet. 
Our ^.^ hands OwO awe full of business. :3 Wet's xDD away. 
uWu Advantage xDD feeds ^.^ him :33 fat OwO whiwe ;;w;; men :3 deway. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
^w^ Eastcheap. uWu The Boar's Head :33 Tavewn. 

Entew Falstaff ÚwÚ and ^.^ Bawdowph. 

Faw. xDD Bawdowph, ^w^ am UwU I nyot fall'n OwO away uWu viwewy xDD since ÚwÚ this >w< wast uWu action? 
Do UwU I nyot ^w^ bate? Do UwU I nyot >w< dwindwe? Why, x3 my uWu skin uWu hangs about ;;w;; me ^.^ wike 
>w< an ;;w;; owd >_> wady's ;;w;; woose ^.^ gown! UwU I ^w^ am :3 withewed ^.^ wike >w< an ;;w;; owd apple OwO John. 
xDD Weww, I'll repent, ÚwÚ and :3 that suddenly, OwO whiwe UwU I ^w^ am uWu in x3 some x3 wiking. 
UwU I UwU shaww be x3 out of >_< heawt shortly, ÚwÚ and xDD then UwU I UwU shaww uWu have nyo 
ÚwÚ stwength to wepent. ^-^ An UwU I uWu have nyot :3 fowgotten >_> what x3 the inside of :3 a 
^-^ chuwch >_> is UwU made :33 of, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a peppewcown, :3 a bwewew's horse. uWu The 
inside of :3 a chuwch! uWu Company, villanous xDD company, hath :33 been x3 the 
:33 spoiw of x3 me. 
Bawd. Sir John, xDD you OwO awe UwU so fwetfuw xDD you ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ wive wong. 
Faw. Why, there >_> is :3 it! ^.^ Come, ^.^ sing ;;w;; me :3 a ^w^ bawdy ^.^ song; >_< make ;;w;; me x3 mewwy. UwU I 
UwU was >_< as >w< viwtuouswy UwU given >_< as :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman >_< nyeed to be, virtuous 
>_> enyough: >w< swowe UwU wittwe, xDD dic'd nyot :33 abuv ÚwÚ seven times :3 a ;;w;; week, OwO went to 
:3 a ^w^ bawdy ;;w;; house nyot :33 abuv >_> once uWu in :3 a :33 quawtew- of >w< an ^-^ houw, paid monyey 
:3 that UwU I borrowed- >w< thwee ow fouw xDD times, >_< wived weww, ÚwÚ and uWu in ÚwÚ good 
UwU compass; ÚwÚ and nyow UwU I ^w^ wive x3 out of aww order, x3 out of aww UwU compass. 
Bawd. Why, xDD you OwO awe UwU so ÚwÚ fat, Sir John, :3 that xDD you ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be x3 out of 
aww uWu compass- x3 out of aww ^.^ weasonyabwe ÚwÚ compass, Sir OwO John. 
Faw. Do xDD thou ;;w;; amend >w< thy >w< face, ÚwÚ and I'll ;;w;; amend x3 my life. ^.^ Thou awt UwU ouw 
x3 admiwaw, xDD thou beawest x3 the lantern uWu in x3 the OwO poop- >_> but UwU 'tis uWu in x3 the 
x3 nyose of thee. ^.^ Thou awt x3 the OwO Knyight of x3 the :33 Buwnying Lamp. 
Bawd. Why, Sir John, x3 my OwO face does xDD you nyo harm. 
Faw. :3 Nyo, I'll be swown. UwU I >_< make >_< as ÚwÚ good use of >w< it >_< as UwU many :3 a x3 man xDD doth 
of :3 a death's-head ow :3 a UwU memento ÚwÚ mowi. UwU I >_< nyevew >_> see >w< thy OwO face >_> but UwU I 
think ;;w;; upon hellfire ÚwÚ and uWu Dives :3 that >_< wived uWu in ^.^ puwpwe; fow there ^.^ he 
>_> is uWu in :33 his wobes, burning, x3 buwnying. >_> if xDD thou OwO wewt xDD any uWu way UwU given to 
virtue, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< sweaw ^.^ by >w< thy face; x3 my ^-^ oath >_> shouwd be >_< 'By ÚwÚ this 
^w^ fiwe, ^w^ that's >_> God's :33 angew.' OwO But xDD thou awt ;;w;; awtogethew UwU given UwU uvw, 
ÚwÚ and OwO wewt :33 indeed, >_> but fow x3 the >w< wight uWu in >w< thy >w< face, x3 the >_< son of :33 uttew 
ÚwÚ dawknyess. x3 When xDD thou UwU wan'st x3 up uWu Gadshiww uWu in x3 the >w< nyight to catch x3 my 
horse, >_> if UwU I uWu did nyot think xDD thou >w< hadst :33 been >w< an ignyis OwO fatuus ow :3 a 
ball of :33 wiwdfiwe, there's nyo puwchase uWu in money. >_< O, xDD thou awt :3 a 
pewpetuaw :3 twiumph, >w< an everlasting bonfiwe-wight! ^.^ Thou x3 hast ÚwÚ saved 
;;w;; me :3 a thousand >w< mawks uWu in links ÚwÚ and OwO towches, ^.^ wawking with uWu thee uWu in 
x3 the >w< nyight betwixt ^.^ tavewn ÚwÚ and OwO tavewn; >_> but x3 the ^-^ sack :3 that xDD thou x3 hast 
UwU dwunk ;;w;; me ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD bought ;;w;; me wights >_< as ÚwÚ good cheap uWu at x3 the deawest 
chandler's uWu in Euwope. UwU I uWu have ^.^ maintainyed :3 that sawamandew of >_> youws 
with fire xDD any time ÚwÚ this ;;w;; two-and-thiwty years. ^w^ God wewawd ;;w;; me fow 
:3 it! 
Bawd. ^-^ 'Sbwood, UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my OwO face :3 wewe uWu in x3 youw >_> bewwy! 
Faw. God-a-mercy! UwU so >_> shouwd UwU I be >_< suwe to be heart-burn'd. 

Entew Hostess. 

How now, x3 Dame ÚwÚ Pawtwet x3 the hen? :3 Have xDD you UwU enquiw'd yet who pick'd 
x3 my ^w^ pocket? 
Host. Why, Sir John, >_> what UwU do xDD you >_< think, Sir ^w^ John? Do xDD you think UwU I 
>_< keep thieves uWu in x3 my >_> house? UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ seawch'd, UwU I uWu have enquired, UwU so 
>_> has x3 my ^.^ husband, x3 man ^.^ by ^w^ man, ;;w;; boy ^.^ by ^-^ boy, xDD sewvant ^.^ by servant. uWu The 
>w< tithe of :3 a >_< haiw UwU was >_< nyevew wost uWu in x3 my ;;w;; house befowe. 
Faw. ^-^ Ye wie, hostess. Bardolph UwU was ÚwÚ shav'd ÚwÚ and wost UwU many :3 a hair, ÚwÚ and 
I'll be sworn x3 my uWu pocket UwU was xDD pick'd. Go ^.^ to, xDD you OwO awe :3 a ^w^ woman, :3 go! 
Host. UwU Who, >_< I? No; UwU I ^.^ defy uWu thee! >_> God's wight, UwU I UwU was >_< nyevew ^w^ caww'd UwU so 
uWu in >_< minye UwU own ;;w;; house ;;w;; befowe! 
Faw. Go ^.^ to, UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you weww enyough. 
Host. :3 Nyo, Sir John; xDD you UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow uWu me, Sir OwO John. UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU you, Sir 
OwO John. >_> You >_> owe ;;w;; me monyey, Sir John, ÚwÚ and nyow xDD you pick :3 a ^-^ quawwew to 
beguile ;;w;; me of :3 it. UwU I xDD bought xDD you :3 a ^.^ dozen of shiwts to x3 youw back. 
Faw. ^-^ Dowwas, :33 fiwthy dowwas! UwU I uWu have UwU given them OwO away to xDD bakews' 
wives; ;;w;; they uWu have UwU made ;;w;; bowtews of OwO them. 
Host. >_> Nyow, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a true ^w^ woman, x3 howwand of eight shiwwings >w< an eww. 
>_> You >_> owe monyey OwO hewe >_< besides, Sir John, fow x3 youw >_> diet ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ by-dwinkings, ÚwÚ and monyey OwO went UwU you, x3 fouw-and-twenty >_> pound. 
Faw. >w< He xDD had :33 his ÚwÚ pawt of uWu it; wet ^.^ him :3 pay. 
Host. He? ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ he >_> is poor; ^.^ he hath OwO nyothing. 
Faw. ÚwÚ How? ;;w;; Poow? Wook ;;w;; upon :33 his ;;w;; face. >_> What caww xDD you xDD wich? Let them 
^-^ coin :33 his nose, wet them ^-^ coin :33 his UwU cheeks. I'll nyot x3 pay :3 a uWu denyiew. 
What, xDD wiww xDD you >_< make :3 a ;;w;; younkew of me? Shall UwU I nyot OwO take >_< minye ^w^ ease 
uWu in >_< minye inn >_> but UwU I UwU shaww uWu have x3 my uWu pocket >_< pick'd? UwU I uWu have wost :3 a 
>w< seaw-wing of x3 my grandfather's ^.^ wowth >w< fowty >w< mawk. 
Host. x3 O Jesu, UwU I uWu have heard x3 the Prince tell :3 him, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how :3 oft, 
:3 that :3 that OwO wing UwU was x3 coppew! 
Faw. ÚwÚ How? x3 the Prince >_> is :3 a Jack, :3 a ;;w;; snyeak-cup. ^-^ 'Sbwood, >w< an ^.^ he :3 wewe 
UwU hewe, UwU I ^.^ wouwd cudgel ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a dog >_> if ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_> say :3 so. 

Entew x3 the Prince [and uWu Poins], marching; ÚwÚ and Falstaff ^.^ meets 
ÚwÚ them, :3 pwaying ;;w;; upon :33 his ^w^ twuncheon ^.^ wike :3 a :3 fife. 

How now, ^-^ wad? Is x3 the wind uWu in :3 that door, :33 i' OwO faith? :3 Must ^.^ we aww 
march? 
Bawd. Yea, >w< two ÚwÚ and >_> two, Nyewgate fashion. 
Host. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I pray xDD you hear x3 me. 
UwU Pwince. >_> What say'st UwU thou, Mistress Quickwy? How xDD doth >w< thy OwO husband? 
UwU I wuv ^.^ him well; ^.^ he >_> is >w< an xDD honyest man. 
Host. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, hear x3 me. 
Faw. UwU Pwithee wet her awonye ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wist to x3 me. 
UwU Pwince. >_> What say'st UwU thou, UwU Jack? 
Faw. uWu The othew >w< nyight UwU I UwU feww ;;w;; asweep OwO hewe x3 behind x3 the arras ÚwÚ and xDD had x3 my 
uWu pocket xDD pick'd. This ;;w;; house >_> is >_> tuwn'd ^w^ bawdy ^.^ house; ;;w;; they pick 
>_> pockets. 
UwU Pwince. >_> What :33 didst xDD thou OwO wose, UwU Jack? 
Faw. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou ^-^ bewieve uWu me, OwO Haw? Thwee ow fouw xDD bonds of >w< fowty ;;w;; pound 
:3 apiece ÚwÚ and :3 a >w< seaw-wing of x3 my gwandfathew's. 
UwU Pwince. ^-^ A :33 twifwe, x3 some eightpenny :3 mattew. 
Host. ^w^ So UwU I told :3 him, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu said UwU I heard x3 youw Gwace >_> say so; 
x3 and, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ he xDD speaks UwU most uWu viwewy of UwU you, ^.^ wike :3 a uWu fouw-mouth'd 
x3 man >_< as ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and uWu said ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd cudgel OwO you. 
UwU Pwince. What! ^.^ he uWu did ^w^ nyot? 
Host. >_> Thewe's :3 nyeithew ^w^ faith, truth, nor UwU womanhood uWu in ;;w;; me ewse. 
Faw. >_> Thewe's nyo ^.^ mowe :33 faith uWu in uWu thee than uWu in :3 a ^w^ stewed ;;w;; pwunye, nor nyo 
^.^ mowe uWu twuth uWu in uWu thee than uWu in :3 a drawn :3 fox; ÚwÚ and fow xDD woman-hood, >w< Maid 
UwU Mawian OwO may be x3 the deputy's >w< wife of x3 the ward to thee. ^w^ Go, xDD you 
ÚwÚ thing, :3 go! 
Host. Say, >_> what ;;w;; thing? >_> what ;;w;; thing? 
Faw. >_> What ;;w;; thing? Why, :3 a ^.^ thing to >_> thank ^w^ God :3 on. 
Host. UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^.^ thing to >_> thank ^w^ God ;;w;; on, UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou shouwdst ^.^ knyow :3 it! 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< an xDD honyest :33 man's :3 wife, x3 and, >w< setting >w< thy knyight-hood ÚwÚ aside, 
xDD thou awt :3 a x3 knyave to caww ;;w;; me :3 so. 
Faw. Setting >w< thy UwU womanhood ÚwÚ aside, xDD thou awt :3 a beast to >_> say 
othewwise. 
Host. Say, >_> what ^.^ beast, xDD thou ^-^ knyave, thou? 
Faw. >_> What ^.^ beast? Why, >w< an ottew. 
UwU Pwince. ^-^ An otter, Sir ^w^ John? Why >w< an otter? 
Faw. Why, ^w^ she's :3 nyeithew :33 fish nor flesh; :3 a x3 man xDD knyows nyot :3 whewe to 
uWu have her. 
Host. ^.^ Thou awt >w< an :33 unjust x3 man uWu in :3 saying :3 so. ^.^ Thou ow xDD any x3 man xDD knyows 
:3 whewe to uWu have uWu me, xDD thou ^-^ knyave, ^w^ thou! 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ Thou say'st ^-^ twue, ^-^ hostess, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU swandews uWu thee UwU most 
^.^ gwosswy. 
Host. ^w^ So ^.^ he xDD doth UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and uWu said ÚwÚ this othew day xDD you ought 
^.^ him :3 a thousand >_> pound. 
UwU Pwince. Siwwah, UwU do UwU I >_> owe xDD you :3 a thousand xDD pound? 
Faw. ^-^ A thousand ^.^ pound, OwO Haw? ^-^ A >_> miwwion! x3 Thy wuv >_> is ^.^ wowth :3 a million; 
xDD thou uWu owest ;;w;; me >w< thy love. 
Host. Nyay, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ he ^w^ caww'd xDD you x3 Jack ÚwÚ and uWu said ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd cudgel 
OwO you. 
Faw. Did I, Bawdowph? 
Bawd. >w< Indeed, Sir John, xDD you uWu said :3 so. 
Faw. xDD Yea. >_> if ^.^ he uWu said x3 my OwO wing UwU was ^w^ coppew. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I say, UwU 'tis ^w^ coppew. ^-^ Dawest xDD thou be >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as >w< thy ;;w;; wowd ^.^ nyow? 
Faw. Why, Hal, xDD thou knowest, >_< as xDD thou awt >_> but ^w^ man, UwU I dare; >_> but >_< as 
xDD thou awt >_< Pwince, UwU I feaw uWu thee >_< as UwU I feaw x3 the xDD woawing of x3 the ;;w;; wion's 
whelp. 
UwU Pwince. xDD And >w< why nyot >_< as x3 the wion? 
Faw. uWu The ^w^ King >_< himsewf >_> is to be x3 feawed >_< as x3 the >_> wion. uWu Dost xDD thou think 
I'll feaw uWu thee >_< as UwU I feaw >w< thy father? Nyay, >w< an UwU I UwU do, UwU I pray ^w^ God x3 my 
^-^ giwdwe *cuddles you* bweak. 
UwU Pwince. >_< O, >_> if >w< it should, >w< how ^.^ wouwd >w< thy :33 guts faww about >w< thy knees! 
But, sirrah, there's nyo >_> woom fow ^w^ faith, truth, nor honesty uWu in 
ÚwÚ this ^w^ bosom of ÚwÚ thinye. ^.^ It >_> is aww :3 fiww'd x3 up with :33 guts ÚwÚ and xDD midwiff. 
uWu Chawge >w< an xDD honyest OwO woman with :33 picking >w< thy ^w^ pocket? Why, xDD thou 
whoweson, xDD impudent, >_> emboss'd ^.^ wascaw, >_> if there :3 wewe ;;w;; anything uWu in 
>w< thy uWu pocket >_> but ^.^ tavewn ^w^ weckonyings, >_> memowandums of ^w^ bawdy ^-^ houses, 
ÚwÚ and one poor xDD pennywowth of ^-^ sugaw candy to >_< make uWu thee >w< wong-winded- 
>_> if >w< thy uWu pocket :3 wewe ^-^ enwich'd with xDD any othew x3 injuwies >_> but OwO these, UwU I 
^w^ am :3 a villain. xDD And yet xDD you xDD wiww stand to uWu it; xDD you xDD wiww nyot uWu pocket 
x3 up wrong. Awt xDD thou nyot >_< ashamed? 
Faw. uWu Dost xDD thou heaw, OwO Haw? ^.^ Thou knowest uWu in x3 the >w< state of innocency 
Adam :3 feww; ÚwÚ and >_> what >_> shouwd poor x3 Jack Falstaff UwU do uWu in x3 the OwO days of 
villany? ^.^ Thou seest UwU I uWu have ^.^ mowe >w< fwesh than anyothew ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and 
>_< thewefowe ^.^ mowe frailty. >_> You x3 confess >w< then, xDD you pick'd x3 my ^w^ pocket? 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ It >_> appeaws UwU so ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; stowy. 
Faw. Hostess, UwU I :33 fowgive thee. Go >_< make ready >_> bweakfast. Wuv >w< thy 
^.^ husband, wook to >w< thy x3 sewvants, :3 chewish >w< thy guests. ^.^ Thou shalt 
find ;;w;; me tractable to xDD any xDD honyest reason. ^.^ Thou seest UwU I ^w^ am uWu pacified. 
-Still?- Nyay, :33 pwithee be ;;w;; gonye. ;;w;; [Exit :3 Hostess.] >_> Nyow, Hal, to x3 the 
nyews uWu at >_< couwt. For x3 the >w< wobbewy, lad- >w< how >_> is :3 that ÚwÚ answewed? 
UwU Pwince. x3 O x3 my x3 sweet beef, UwU I ^w^ must still be ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ angew to thee. 
uWu The monyey >_> is paid back ;;w;; again. 
Faw. >_< O, UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike :3 that ÚwÚ paying >_> back! 'Tis :3 a :3 doubwe uWu wabouw. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ good ^w^ fwiends with x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and OwO may UwU do x3 anything. 
Faw. Rob ;;w;; me x3 the ^.^ exchequew x3 the xDD fiwst ^.^ thing xDD thou uWu doest, ÚwÚ and UwU do >w< it 
with unwash'd ^.^ hands UwU too. 
Bawd. UwU Do, x3 my OwO wowd. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I uWu have >_< pwocuwed ÚwÚ thee, Jack, :3 a :3 chawge of ^-^ foot. 
Faw. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it xDD had :33 been of horse. Whewe UwU shaww UwU I find one :3 that ^.^ can 
^.^ steaw ^.^ weww? x3 O fow :3 a OwO finye UwU thief of x3 the age of ^.^ two-and-twenty ow 
thereabouts! UwU I ^w^ am :33 heinyouswy unpwovided. xDD Weww, ^w^ God be ^-^ thanked fow 
these >_> webews. ^-^ They ^-^ offend >_< nyonye >_> but x3 the ÚwÚ viwtuous. UwU I waud ÚwÚ them, UwU I 
praise OwO them. 
UwU Pwince. Bawdowph! 
Bawd. OwO My xDD wowd? 
UwU Pwince. Go UwU beaw ÚwÚ this >_> wettew to Lord John of Lancaster, 
;;w;; To x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew John; ÚwÚ this to x3 my Lord of >_> Westmowewand. 
;;w;; [Exit Bawdowph.] 
^w^ Go, x3 Poins, to horse, to :33 howse; fow xDD thou ÚwÚ and UwU I 
:3 Have ;;w;; thiwty >_< miwes to uWu wide yet ere dinner uWu time. 
;;w;; [Exit ÚwÚ Poins.] 
Jack, :3 meet ;;w;; me to-mowwow uWu in x3 the ^.^ Tempwe Haww 
At >w< two UwU o'cwock uWu in x3 the aftewnyoon. 
>_> Thewe shalt xDD thou ^.^ knyow >w< thy chawge. ÚwÚ and there receive 
Money ÚwÚ and order fow uWu theiw furniture. 
uWu The ÚwÚ wand >_> is buwnying; ^-^ Pewcy >w< stands on ÚwÚ high; 
xDD And xDD eithew ;;w;; they ow ^.^ we ^w^ must >_< wowew xDD wie. ^-^ [Exit.] 
Faw. Wawe words! >_< bwave ;;w;; wowwd! Hostess, x3 my >w< bweakfast, x3 come. 
>_< O, UwU I couwd ÚwÚ wish ÚwÚ this ^.^ tavewn :3 wewe x3 my ÚwÚ dwum! 
ÚwÚ Exit. 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. Scene ^.^ I. 
uWu The rebel ÚwÚ camp nyeaw uWu Shwewsbuwy. 

Entew ÚwÚ Hawwy x3 Hotspuw, Worcester, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Dougwas. 

^w^ Hot. Weww said, x3 my x3 nyobwe >_> Scot. ;;w;; If speaking uWu twuth 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this OwO finye age :3 wewe nyot xDD thought flattery, 
>w< Such attwibution >_> shouwd x3 the Dougwas uWu have 
;;w;; As nyot :3 a soldier of ÚwÚ this season's stamp 
Should OwO go UwU so general :3 cuwwent ^w^ thwough x3 the wowwd. 
^-^ By :33 God, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot fwattew, UwU I ^.^ defy 
uWu The tongues of ;;w;; soothews! >_> but :3 a >_< bwavew :33 pwace 
^w^ In x3 my heart's wuv hath nyo x3 man than OwO youwsewf. 
Nyay, :3 task ;;w;; me to x3 my wowd; approve uWu me, OwO wowd. 
OwO Doug. ^.^ Thou awt x3 the x3 king of honyouw. 
No x3 man UwU so x3 potent breathes ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 gwound 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ beawd ^.^ him. 

Entew one with letters. 

^w^ Hot. Do >_> so, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis ^-^ weww.- 
>_> What x3 wettews x3 hast xDD thou >w< thewe?- UwU I ^.^ can >_> but >_> thank OwO you. 
Messengew. ;;w;; These x3 wettews come from x3 youw :33 fathew. 
^w^ Hot. >_< Wettews from him? Why x3 comes ^.^ he nyot :33 himsewf? 
:33 Mess. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot come, x3 my wowd; ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; gwievous ;;w;; sick. 
^w^ Hot. uWu Zounds! >w< how >_> has ^.^ he x3 the leisure to be >w< sick 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a ;;w;; justwing >w< time? Who weads :33 his powew? 
;;w;; Undew x3 whose guvwnment come ;;w;; they OwO awong? 
:33 Mess. ÚwÚ His x3 wettews bears :33 his UwU mind, nyot I, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Wor. UwU I :33 pwithee tell uWu me, xDD doth ^.^ he >_< keep :33 his bed? 
:33 Mess. >w< He ^-^ did, x3 my uWu wowd, fouw OwO days ere UwU I uWu set ^-^ fowth, 
xDD And uWu at x3 the time of x3 my :3 depawtuwe thence 
>w< He UwU was much feaw'd ^.^ by :33 his physicians. 
Wor. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 the >w< state of time xDD had xDD fiwst :33 been whole 
Ere ^.^ he ^.^ by sicknyess xDD had :33 been ^.^ visited. 
ÚwÚ His ^.^ heawth UwU was >_< nyevew xDD bettew ^.^ wowth than now. 
^w^ Hot. :3 Sick ^.^ nyow? dwoop ^.^ nyow? This sicknyess xDD doth ÚwÚ infect 
uWu The xDD vewy lifeblood of UwU ouw enterprise. 
'Tis x3 catching hithew, even to UwU ouw :33 camp. 
>w< He >_< wwites ;;w;; me OwO hewe :3 that inward uWu sicknyess- 
xDD And :3 that :33 his ^w^ fwiends ^.^ by UwU deputation couwd nyot 
^w^ So >w< soon be drawn; nyo uWu did ^.^ he think >w< it :3 meet 
;;w;; To uWu way UwU so uWu dangewous ÚwÚ and uWu deaw :3 a :33 twust 
On xDD any :3 souw >w< wemov'd >_> but on :33 his own. 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD doth ^.^ he UwU give >_> us bold :3 advewtisement, 
:33 That with UwU ouw UwU smaww conjunction ^.^ we >_> shouwd ;;w;; on, 
;;w;; To >_> see >w< how :3 fowtunye >_> is uWu dispos'd to us; 
For, >_< as ^.^ he uWu wwites, there >_> is nyo quaiwing now, 
>_< Because x3 the ^w^ King >_> is :3 cewtainwy >_< possess'd 
Of aww UwU ouw purposes. >_> What >_> say xDD you to :33 it? 
Wor. uWu Youw father's sicknyess >_> is :3 a :3 maim to >_> us. 
^w^ Hot. ^-^ A :33 pewiwous UwU gash, :3 a xDD vewy x3 wimb OwO wopp'd off. 
xDD And ^w^ yet, uWu in ^w^ faith, >w< it >_> is ^w^ nyot! ÚwÚ His xDD pwesent ^.^ want 
x3 Seems ^.^ mowe than ^.^ we UwU shaww find :3 it. ^.^ Wewe >w< it ÚwÚ good 
;;w;; To uWu set x3 the exact weawth of aww UwU ouw UwU states 
All uWu at one xDD cast? to uWu set UwU so rich :3 a x3 man 
On x3 the UwU nyice >_< hazawd of one ^.^ doubtfuw :3 houw? 
^.^ It :3 wewe nyot good; fow thewein >_> shouwd ^.^ we ^w^ wead 
uWu The xDD vewy :3 bottom ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 souw of hope, 
uWu The xDD vewy wist, x3 the xDD vewy utmost bound 
Of aww UwU ouw fortunes. 
OwO Doug. Faith, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ we >_< shouwd; 
Whewe nyow remains :3 a x3 sweet x3 wevewsion. 
We OwO may OwO bowdwy spend ;;w;; upon x3 the UwU hope of >_> what 
Is to come ^.^ in. 
^-^ A uWu comfowt of :3 wetiwement ;;w;; wives uWu in UwU this. 
^w^ Hot. ^-^ A wendezvous, :3 a ^.^ home to fwy :33 unto, 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 the ^.^ deviw ÚwÚ and :33 mischance wook big 
>_> Upon x3 the >_> maidenhead of UwU ouw x3 affaiws. 
Wor. OwO But yet UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw >w< fathew xDD had :33 been hewe. 
uWu The ;;w;; quawity ÚwÚ and >_< haiw of UwU ouw x3 attempt 
Bwooks nyo division. ^.^ It xDD wiww be xDD thought 
^-^ By x3 some :3 that ^.^ knyow nyot >w< why ^.^ he >_> is away, 
:33 That wisdom, OwO woyawty, ÚwÚ and mere :33 diswike 
Of UwU ouw proceedings :33 kept x3 the ^-^ Eaww from x3 hence. 
xDD And think >w< how xDD such >w< an apprehension 
^-^ May turn x3 the >_< tide of x3 feawfuw ^w^ faction 
xDD And breed :3 a uWu kind of ;;w;; question uWu in UwU ouw OwO cause. 
For weww xDD you ^.^ knyow ^.^ we of x3 the ÚwÚ off'wing x3 side 
:3 Must >_< keep >_< awoof from :3 stwict awbitwement, 
xDD And ÚwÚ stop aww sight-holes, every loop from >_> whence 
uWu The ^w^ eye of reason OwO may ^.^ pwy uWu in ;;w;; upon >_> us. 
This >w< absence of x3 youw father's ÚwÚ dwaws :3 a ^-^ cuwtain 
:33 That >_< shows x3 the ÚwÚ ignyowant :3 a uWu kind of feaw 
^.^ Befowe nyot dweamt uWu of. 
^w^ Hot. >_> You ;;w;; stwain ^w^ too far. 
UwU I rather of :33 his >w< absence >_< make ÚwÚ this >_< use: 
^.^ It wends :3 a UwU wustwe ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe great :33 opinyion, 
^-^ A wawgew dawe to UwU ouw great entewpwise, 
Than >_> if x3 the ^-^ Eaww :3 wewe ^.^ hewe; fow ;;w;; men ^w^ must >_< think, 
;;w;; If :33 we, ^-^ without :33 his hewp, ^.^ can >_< make :3 a >_> head 
;;w;; To :3 push OwO against :3 a :33 kingdom, with :33 his OwO hewp 
We UwU shaww ÚwÚ o'ewtuwn >w< it ^w^ topsy-tuwvy down. 
ÚwÚ Yet aww xDD goes well; yet aww UwU ouw xDD joints OwO awe ^-^ whowe. 
OwO Doug. ;;w;; As >_< heawt ^.^ can UwU think. >_> Thewe >_> is nyot xDD such :3 a ;;w;; wowd 
OwO Spoke of uWu in :3 Scotwand >_< as ÚwÚ this term of ;;w;; feaw. 

Entew Sir Richard Vernon. 

^w^ Hot. OwO My xDD cousin Vernon! ;;w;; wewcome, ^.^ by x3 my ^-^ souw. 
Ver. >_> Pway ^w^ God x3 my nyews be ^.^ wowth :3 a ;;w;; wewcome, OwO wowd. 
uWu The ^-^ Eaww of uWu Westmowewand, ÚwÚ seven thousand :33 stwong, 
Is ^.^ mawching hitherwards; with ^.^ him Prince OwO John. 
^w^ Hot. No harm. >_> What UwU mowe? 
Ver. xDD And further, UwU I uWu have weawn'd 
uWu The ^w^ King >_< himsewf uWu in ÚwÚ pewson >_> is uWu set ^-^ fowth, 
:33 Ow ^-^ hithewwawds :3 intended xDD speediwy, 
With >w< stwong ÚwÚ and ^-^ mighty >_> pwepawation. 
^w^ Hot. >w< He UwU shaww be wewcome UwU too. Whewe >_> is :33 his x3 son, 
uWu The ;;w;; nyimbwe-footed UwU madcap Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, 
xDD And :33 his ;;w;; comwades, :3 that OwO daff'd x3 the wowwd :3 aside 
xDD And bid >w< it xDD pass? 
Ver. All ^-^ fuwnyish'd, aww uWu in arms; 
All pwum'd ^.^ wike UwU estwidges :3 that with x3 the wind 
Bated ^.^ wike ^w^ eagwes xDD having :3 watewy bath'd; 
Glittering uWu in golden coats ^.^ wike images; 
;;w;; As full of ^w^ spiwit >_< as x3 the >_> month of ^-^ May 
xDD And gowgeous >_< as x3 the sun uWu at midsummer; 
ÚwÚ Wanton >_< as youthfuw ^.^ goats, >w< wiwd >_< as xDD young buwws. 
UwU I saw xDD young ÚwÚ Hawwy with :33 his ;;w;; beavew on 
ÚwÚ His >_< cushes on :33 his thighs, xDD gawwantwy arm'd, 
^-^ Wise from x3 the x3 gwound ^.^ wike feathewed >_< Mewcuwy, 
xDD And x3 vauwted with xDD such ^w^ ease x3 into :33 his uWu seat 
;;w;; As >_> if >w< an ÚwÚ angew ÚwÚ dwopp'd down from x3 the :33 cwouds 
;;w;; To turn ÚwÚ and wind :3 a fiery uWu Pegasus 
xDD And >w< witch x3 the wowwd with x3 nyobwe howsemanship. 
^w^ Hot. No >_> mowe, nyo uWu mowe! Wowse than x3 the sun uWu in March, 
This praise xDD doth nourish ÚwÚ agues. Let them x3 come. 
^-^ They come ^.^ wike sacrifices uWu in uWu theiw >_< twim, 
xDD And to x3 the ^.^ fiwe-ey'd >_< maid of >w< smoky >w< waw 
All :3 hot ÚwÚ and xDD bweeding Will ^.^ we offer OwO them. 
uWu The ^w^ maiwed uWu Maws Shall on :33 his altar sit 
Up to x3 the OwO eaws uWu in blood. UwU I ^w^ am on fire 
;;w;; To hear ÚwÚ this rich wepwisaw >_> is UwU so nigh, 
xDD And yet nyot >_> ouws. ^.^ Come, wet ;;w;; me >_> taste x3 my horse, 
Who >_> is to UwU beaw ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a thundewbowt 
^w^ Against x3 the ^w^ bosom of x3 the Prince of Wales. 
ÚwÚ Hawwy to ÚwÚ Hawwy UwU shaww, :3 hot UwU howse to horse, 
ÚwÚ Meet, ÚwÚ and ^w^ nye'ew ÚwÚ pawt >w< tiww one >_< dwop down :3 a :3 cowse. 
:3 that ;;w;; Gwendowew :3 wewe >w< come! 
Ver. >_> Thewe >_> is ^.^ mowe ;;w;; nyews. 
UwU I weawn'd uWu in Worcester, >_< as UwU I rode along, 
>w< He ;;w;; cannyot dwaw :33 his powew ÚwÚ this ^.^ fouwteen days. 
OwO Doug. >w< That's x3 the worst UwU tidings :3 that UwU I hear of >_> yet. 
Wor. Ay, ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ faith, :3 that bears :3 a fwosty UwU sound. 
^w^ Hot. >_> What OwO may x3 the >_< King's whole ÚwÚ battwe :3 weach unto? 
Ver. ;;w;; To ;;w;; thiwty ÚwÚ thousand. 
^w^ Hot. UwU Fowty wet >w< it >w< be. 
OwO My >w< fathew ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Gwendowew ^.^ being both away, 
uWu The ÚwÚ powews of >_> us OwO may serve UwU so great :3 a x3 day. 
^.^ Come, wet >_> us OwO take :3 a muster :3 speediwy. 
xDD Doomsday >_> is ÚwÚ nyeaw. :33 Die all, ^-^ die merrily. 
OwO Doug. Talk nyot of ÚwÚ dying. UwU I ^w^ am x3 out of feaw 
Of :33 death ow ^w^ death's uWu hand fow ÚwÚ this one >_> hawf-yeaw. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
^-^ A public woad nyeaw Coventry. 

Entew Falstaff ÚwÚ and ^.^ Bawdowph. 

Faw. xDD Bawdowph, get uWu thee >w< befowe to :3 Cuvntwy; ^w^ fiww ;;w;; me :3 a bottwe of 
:33 sack. Our ^-^ sowdiews UwU shaww :33 mawch thwough. ^-^ We'ww to x3 Sutton Co'fil' 
to-night. 
Bawd. Will xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me monyey, ^.^ Captain? 
Faw. Way ^.^ out, uWu way OwO out. 
Bawd. This bottwe x3 makes >w< an OwO angew. 
Faw. ^-^ An >_> if >w< it UwU do, OwO take >w< it fow >w< thy ^w^ wabouw; >w< an >_> if >w< it >_< make twenty, 
OwO take them aww; I'll answew x3 the ;;w;; coinyage. x3 Bid x3 my UwU wieutenyant ^-^ Peto 
:3 meet ;;w;; me uWu at town's OwO end. 
Bawd. UwU I ^.^ Wiww, ^-^ Captain. uWu Faweweww. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Faw. ;;w;; If UwU I be nyot OwO ashamed of x3 my xDD sowdiews, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a >w< sous'd guwnyet. UwU I 
uWu have xDD misused x3 the >_< King's x3 pwess damnably. UwU I uWu have ^w^ got uWu in :3 exchange of 
:3 a :3 hundwed ÚwÚ and :33 fifty xDD sowdiews, >w< thwee :3 hundwed ÚwÚ and >w< odd ÚwÚ pounds. UwU I 
x3 pwess ;;w;; me >_< nyonye >_> but ÚwÚ good householders, ^-^ yeomen's sons; ^.^ inquiwe ;;w;; me 
x3 out >_< contwacted :3 bachewows, xDD such >_< as xDD had :33 been >w< ask'd twice on x3 the 
banes- xDD such :3 a :3 commodity of wawm xDD swaves >_< as xDD had >_< as wieve hear x3 the 
^.^ deviw >_< as :3 a uWu dwum; xDD such >_< as feaw x3 the wepowt of :3 a ^w^ cawivew xDD wowse than 
:3 a >w< stwuck fowl ow :3 a ÚwÚ huwt >w< wiwd :3 duck. UwU I OwO pwess'd ;;w;; me >_< nyonye >_> but xDD such 
toasts-and-buttew, with heawts uWu in uWu theiw >_< bewwies nyo ;;w;; biggew than 
ÚwÚ pins' >_< heads, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they uWu have xDD bought x3 out uWu theiw >w< sewvices; ÚwÚ and nyow x3 my 
whole :3 chawge uWu consists of OwO ancients, UwU cowpowaws, >w< wieutenyants, 
gentlemen of companies- xDD swaves >_< as ^-^ wagged >_< as x3 Wazawus uWu in x3 the 
painted >_< cwoth, :3 whewe x3 the ^w^ gwutton's ^.^ dogs wicked :33 his OwO sowes; ÚwÚ and 
xDD such >_< as ÚwÚ indeed :3 wewe >_< nyevew xDD sowdiews, >_> but ^.^ discawded :33 unjust 
^.^ sewving-men, :3 youngew xDD sons to ^.^ Youngew OwO bwothews, ^w^ wevowted tapstews, 
ÚwÚ and ostlers >_> twade-faww'n; x3 the cankers of :3 a ÚwÚ cawm wowwd ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ wong 
:3 peace; ;;w;; ten times ^.^ mowe dishonourable ^-^ wagged than >w< an ;;w;; owd fac'd 
>_> ancient; ÚwÚ and xDD such uWu have UwU I to ^w^ fiww x3 up x3 the rooms of them :3 that uWu have 
xDD bought x3 out uWu theiw >_< sewvices :3 that xDD you ^.^ wouwd think :3 that UwU I xDD had :3 a 
:3 hundwed ÚwÚ and :33 fifty xDD tattewed xDD Pwodigaws :3 watewy come from 
swine-keeping, from uWu eating draff ÚwÚ and husks. ^-^ A ^-^ mad fewwow >w< met ;;w;; me 
on x3 the :3 way, ÚwÚ and told ;;w;; me UwU I xDD had ^-^ unwoaded aww x3 the gibbets ÚwÚ and 
OwO pwess'd x3 the >_< dead >_> bodies. No ^w^ eye hath :3 seen xDD such >_> scawecwows. I'll 
nyot :33 mawch ^w^ thwough UwU Cuvntwy with ÚwÚ them, ^w^ that's flat. Nyay, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
x3 viwwains :33 mawch uWu wide betwixt x3 the ^.^ wegs, >_< as >_> if ;;w;; they xDD had ^-^ gyves xDD on; 
fow ÚwÚ indeed UwU I xDD had x3 the UwU most of them x3 out of x3 pwison. >_> Thewe's >_> but :3 a 
shirt ÚwÚ and :3 a half uWu in aww x3 my company; ÚwÚ and x3 the half-shirt >_> is >w< two 
napkins ^w^ tack'd togethew ÚwÚ and :33 thwown uvw x3 the ^w^ shouwdews ^.^ wike :3 a 
x3 hewawd's >_> coat ^-^ without sleeves; ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 shiwt, to >_> say x3 the truth, 
:3 stow'n from x3 my host uWu at Saint Alban's, ow x3 the xDD wed-nyose OwO innkeepew 
of Daventry. OwO But ^w^ that's aww onye; they'ww find linen enough on 
every xDD hedge. 

Entew x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and x3 the Lord of >_> Westmowewand. 

UwU Pwince. How now, >_> bwown UwU Jack? How now, :33 quiwt? 
Faw. What, OwO Haw? How now, ^-^ mad >w< wag? >_> What :3 a ^.^ deviw dost xDD thou uWu in 
Warwickshire? OwO My ÚwÚ good Lord of uWu Westmowewand, UwU I cwy xDD you mercy. UwU I 
xDD thought x3 youw honour xDD had xDD awweady :33 been uWu at uWu Shwewsbuwy. 
:3 West. Faith, Sir John, UwU 'tis ^.^ mowe than time :3 that UwU I :3 wewe thewe, ÚwÚ and 
xDD you :3 too; >_> but x3 my ÚwÚ powews OwO awe there >_< awweady. uWu The OwO King, UwU I ^.^ can tell 
UwU you, :33 wooks fow >_> us all. We ^w^ must OwO away all, to-night. 
Faw. Tut, >_< nyevew feaw x3 me. UwU I ^w^ am >_< as UwU vigiwant >_< as :3 a :33 cat to ^.^ steaw uWu cweam. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I >_< think, to ^.^ steaw cream :33 indeed, fow >w< thy :3 theft hath xDD awweady 
UwU made uWu thee >_> buttew. OwO But tell uWu me, Jack, x3 whose ^w^ fewwows OwO awe these :3 that 
come >w< aftew? 
Faw. Minye, Hal, ^w^ minye. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I uWu did >_< nyevew >_> see xDD such ^w^ pitifuw >_> wascaws. 
Faw. Tut, uWu tut! ÚwÚ good enough to ÚwÚ toss; OwO food fow powdew, OwO food fow 
^w^ powdew. x3 They'ww ^w^ fiww :3 a pit >_< as weww >_< as ^-^ bettew. Tush, ^w^ man, >w< mowtaw 
men, >w< mowtaw ^.^ men. 
:3 West. Ay, but, Sir John, uWu methinks ;;w;; they OwO awe :33 exceeding poor ÚwÚ and OwO bawe- 
^w^ too UwU beggawwy. 
Faw. Faith, fow uWu theiw puvwty, UwU I knyow, nyot :3 whewe ;;w;; they xDD had :33 that; ÚwÚ and 
fow uWu theiw UwU bawenyess, UwU I ^w^ am UwU suwd ;;w;; they >_< nyevew weawn'd :3 that of x3 me. 
UwU Pwince. :3 Nyo, I'll be sworn, ^w^ unwess xDD you caww >w< thwee x3 fingews on x3 the 
OwO wibs xDD bawe. But, sirrah, >_< make ^.^ haste. ^-^ Pewcy ^-^ 's xDD awweady uWu in x3 the 
>_> fiewd. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
Faw. What, >_> is x3 the ^w^ King encamp'd? 
:3 West. >w< He ;;w;; is, Sir OwO John. UwU I feaw ^.^ we UwU shaww xDD stay ^w^ too wong. 
^-^ [Exit.] 
Faw. xDD Weww, 
;;w;; To x3 the UwU wattew >w< end of :3 a >w< fway ÚwÚ and x3 the beginning of :3 a >_> feast 
UwU Fits :3 a dull fighter ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> keen :33 guest. ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene >_> III. 
uWu The rebel ÚwÚ camp nyeaw uWu Shwewsbuwy. 

Entew x3 Hotspuw, Worcester, Dougwas, Vernon. 

^w^ Hot. ^-^ We'ww >w< fight with ^.^ him to-night. 
Wor. ^.^ It OwO may nyot >w< be. 
OwO Doug. >_> You UwU give ^.^ him xDD then uWu advantage. 
Ver. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a whit. 
^w^ Hot. Why >_> say xDD you so? Looks ^.^ he nyo fow supply? 
Ver. ^w^ So UwU do >_< we. 
^w^ Hot. ÚwÚ His >_> is cewtain, ouws ^-^ 's doubtful. 
Wor. ^-^ Good OwO cousin, be :33 advis'd; stir nyot to-night. 
Ver. Do >_> nyot, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO Doug. >_> You UwU do nyot counsel well. 
>_> You speak >w< it x3 out of feaw ÚwÚ and UwU cowd ;;w;; heawt. 
Ver. Do ;;w;; me nyo slander, ^-^ Dougwas. ^-^ By x3 my life- 
xDD And UwU I dawe weww ÚwÚ maintain >w< it with x3 my life- 
;;w;; If weww-wespected honour bid ;;w;; me on 
UwU I howd >_< as xDD wittwe counsel with xDD weak feaw 
;;w;; As UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, ow xDD any OwO Scot :3 that ÚwÚ this day ^.^ wives. 
Let >w< it be :3 seen to-mowwow uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ battwe 
>_< Which of >_> us fears. 
OwO Doug. Yea, ow to-night. 
Ver. OwO Content. 
^w^ Hot. To-night, >_> say ^.^ I. 
^.^ Come, come, >w< it OwO may nyot >w< be. UwU I wonder ÚwÚ much, 
uWu Being ;;w;; men of xDD such great weading >_< as xDD you awe, 
:33 That xDD you x3 fowesee nyot >_> what impediments 
Drag back UwU ouw UwU expedition. xDD Cewtain UwU howse 
Of x3 my xDD cousin :3 Vewnyon's OwO awe nyot yet come :33 up. 
uWu Youw :33 uncwe Wowcestew's UwU howse ^-^ came >_> but to-day; 
xDD And nyow uWu theiw >_< pwide ÚwÚ and mettle >_> is ^-^ asweep, 
^-^ Theiw couwage with x3 hawd labour >w< tame ÚwÚ and xDD duww, 
:33 That nyot :3 a UwU howse >_> is half x3 the half of himself. 
^w^ Hot. ^w^ So OwO awe x3 the :3 howses of x3 the enyemy, 
^w^ In general >w< jouwnyey-bated ÚwÚ and ^.^ bwought wow. 
uWu The xDD bettew ÚwÚ pawt of ouws OwO awe full of rest. 
Wor. uWu The ^w^ nyumbew of x3 the ^w^ King exceedeth >_> ouws. 
For >_> God's ^w^ sake, OwO cousin, xDD stay >w< tiww aww come ^.^ in. 

uWu The ÚwÚ twumpet sounds :3 a >_< pawwey. 

Entew Sir Wawtew Bwunt. 

Bwunt. UwU I come with >_> gwacious x3 offews from x3 the OwO King, 
;;w;; If xDD you x3 vouchsafe ;;w;; me hearing ÚwÚ and wespect. 
^w^ Hot. Welcome, Sir Wawtew Bwunt, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God 
>_> You :3 wewe of UwU ouw xDD detewminyation! 
;;w;; Some of >_> us wuv xDD you well; ÚwÚ and even UwU those x3 some 
Envy x3 youw great xDD desewvings ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good :33 nyame, 
>_< Because xDD you OwO awe nyot of UwU ouw :3 quawity, 
OwO But stand OwO against >_> us ^.^ wike >w< an enemy. 
Bwunt. xDD And ^w^ God ;;w;; defend >_> but still UwU I >_> shouwd stand >_> so, 
^w^ So ^-^ wong >_< as x3 out of wimit ÚwÚ and true UwU wuwe 
>_> You stand OwO against ^-^ anyointed ^.^ majesty! 
OwO But to x3 my chawge. uWu The ^w^ King hath sent to ^.^ knyow 
uWu The ÚwÚ nyatuwe of x3 youw OwO gwiefs; ÚwÚ and whereupon 
>_> You x3 conjuwe from x3 the breast of ÚwÚ civiw uWu peace 
>w< Such bold hostility, teaching :33 his duteous ÚwÚ wand 
>w< Audacious ÚwÚ cwuewty. ;;w;; If :3 that x3 the ^w^ King 
:3 Have xDD any uWu way x3 youw ÚwÚ good deserts >w< fowgot, 
>_< Which ^.^ he confesseth to be >w< manyifowd, 
>w< He UwU bids xDD you xDD nyame x3 youw ^.^ gwiefs, ÚwÚ and with aww ^w^ speed 
>_> You UwU shaww uWu have x3 youw desiwes with intewest, 
xDD And UwU pawdon ^w^ absowute fow >_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and these 
x3 Hewein ;;w;; miswed ^.^ by x3 youw ^.^ suggestion. 
^w^ Hot. uWu The ^w^ King >_> is ;;w;; kind; ÚwÚ and weww ^.^ we ^.^ knyow x3 the ^w^ King 
xDD Knyows uWu at >_> what time to ;;w;; pwomise, when to :3 pay. 
OwO My >w< fathew ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 uncwe ÚwÚ and mysewf 
Did UwU give ^.^ him :3 that same xDD woyawty ^.^ he wears; 
xDD And when ^.^ he UwU was nyot six-and-twenty :33 stwong, 
:3 Sick uWu in x3 the OwO wowwd's regard, wwetched ÚwÚ and low, 
^-^ A poor >_> unminded OwO outwaw x3 snyeaking ^.^ home, 
OwO My >w< fathew uWu gave ^.^ him wewcome to x3 the shore; 
xDD And when ^.^ he heard ^.^ him >_< sweaw ÚwÚ and vow to ^w^ God 
>w< He ^-^ came >_> but to be >w< Duke of Lancaster, 
;;w;; To sue :33 his :33 wivewy ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beg :33 his ÚwÚ peace, 
With tears of innocency ÚwÚ and terms of zeal, 
OwO My ÚwÚ fathew, uWu in uWu kind >_< heawt ÚwÚ and pity x3 mov'd, 
^.^ Swowe ^.^ him :33 assistance, ÚwÚ and ^.^ pewfowmed >w< it UwU too. 
>_> Nyow, when x3 the wowds ÚwÚ and :3 bawons of x3 the weawm 
Perceiv'd ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand uWu did lean to :3 him, 
uWu The ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and less ^-^ came uWu in with cap ÚwÚ and ;;w;; knyee; 
Met ^.^ him on bowoughs, OwO cities, villages, 
Attended ^.^ him on bridges, :33 stood uWu in :3 wanyes, 
Waid ^.^ gifts >w< befowe :3 him, x3 pwoffew'd ^.^ him uWu theiw oaths, 
Give ^.^ him uWu theiw :3 heiws >_< as pages, fowwowed ^.^ him 
Even uWu at x3 the heels uWu in golden :3 muwtitudes. 
>w< He pwesentwy, >_< as :33 gweatnyess xDD knyows itself, 
^-^ Steps ;;w;; me :3 a xDD wittwe :3 highew than :33 his vow 
Made to x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, OwO whiwe :33 his :3 bwood UwU was OwO poow, 
>_> Upon x3 the nyaked >w< showe uWu at Ravenspurgh; 
xDD And now, xDD fowsooth, UwU takes on ^.^ him to wefowm 
;;w;; Some xDD cewtain ;;w;; edicts ÚwÚ and x3 some stwait decrees 
:33 That >_< wie ^w^ too x3 heavy on x3 the commonweawth; 
>w< Cwies x3 out ;;w;; upon x3 abuses, ;;w;; seems to xDD weep 
Over :33 his >_> countwy's wwongs; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >w< face, 
This ÚwÚ seeming ^w^ bwow of justice, uWu did ^.^ he x3 win 
uWu The heawts of aww :3 that ^.^ he uWu did :3 angwe ^w^ fow; 
Proceeded ^w^ fuwthew- :3 cut ;;w;; me x3 off x3 the heads 
Of aww x3 the >_> favouwites :3 that x3 the absent ^w^ King 
^w^ In UwU deputation left x3 behind ^.^ him OwO hewe 
x3 When ^.^ he UwU was xDD pewsonyaw uWu in x3 the Irish waw. 
uWu But. Tut! UwU I ^-^ came nyot to hear UwU this. 
^w^ Hot. UwU Then to x3 the point. 
^w^ In showt time ÚwÚ aftew >_< wie :3 depos'd x3 the uWu King; 
ÚwÚ Soon ÚwÚ aftew :3 that x3 depwiv'd ^.^ him of :33 his :33 wife; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the x3 nyeck of :3 that ;;w;; task'd x3 the whole ^w^ state; 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 that ^-^ wowse, ;;w;; suff'wed :33 his kinsman March 
;;w;; (Who ;;w;; is, >_> if every owner :3 wewe weww placid, 
:33 Indeed :33 his xDD king) to be x3 engag'd uWu in ÚwÚ Wawes, 
>_> Thewe ^-^ without wansom to >_< wie ^-^ fowfeited; 
Disgwac'd ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my ^w^ happy ^.^ victowies, 
ÚwÚ Sought to entrap ;;w;; me ^.^ by intelligence; 
ÚwÚ Wated >_< minye :33 uncwe from x3 the Counciw ^w^ boawd; 
^w^ In xDD wage OwO dismiss'd x3 my >w< fathew from x3 the >_> couwt; 
x3 Bwoke >w< an ^-^ oath on ;;w;; oath, >_> committed wrong on >_> wwong; 
xDD And uWu in OwO concwusion >_< dwuv >_> us to >_> seek x3 out 
This >_> head of safety, ÚwÚ and withal to ^.^ pwy 
^.^ Into :33 his :3 titwe, x3 the which ^.^ we find 
Too ^.^ indiwect fow ^-^ wong :33 continyuance. 
Bwunt. Shall UwU I ^-^ wetuwn ÚwÚ this answew to x3 the >_> King? 
^w^ Hot. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, Sir UwU Wawtew. ^-^ We'ww >_< withdwaw OwO awhiwe. 
Go to x3 the uWu King; ÚwÚ and wet there be impawn'd 
;;w;; Some surety fow :3 a >_< safe ^-^ wetuwn OwO again, 
xDD And ^w^ In x3 the mownying early UwU shaww >_< minye :33 uncwe 
Bring ^.^ him UwU ouw ;;w;; puwposes; ÚwÚ and UwU so farewell. 
Bwunt. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^.^ wouwd xDD accept of xDD gwace ÚwÚ and love. 
^w^ Hot. xDD And OwO may be UwU so ^.^ we >_< shaww. 
Bwunt. >_> Pway ^w^ God xDD you xDD do. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene :33 IV. 
x3 Yowk. uWu The >_> Awchbishop's OwO Pawace. 

Entew x3 the UwU Awchbishop of York ÚwÚ and Sir Michaew. 

ÚwÚ Awch. uWu Hie, ÚwÚ good Sir ^w^ Michaew; UwU beaw ÚwÚ this uWu seawed bwief 
With >_> winged ^.^ haste to x3 the Lord Mawshaw; 
This to x3 my xDD cousin UwU Scwoop; ÚwÚ and aww x3 the xDD west 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; diwected. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU knyew 
How much ;;w;; they UwU do impowt, xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_< make ^.^ haste. 
Sir UwU M. OwO My ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
UwU I guess uWu theiw tenour. 
ÚwÚ Awch. Wike enough xDD you xDD do. 
>_< To-mowwow, ÚwÚ good Sir Michael, >_> is :3 a day 
^-^ Whewein x3 the :3 fowtunye of ;;w;; ten thousand ;;w;; men 
:3 Must bide x3 the >w< touch; for, ^w^ siw, uWu at UwU Shwewsbuwy, 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am :33 twuwy UwU given to undewstand, 
uWu The ^w^ King with ^-^ mighty ÚwÚ and :3 quick-waised powew 
^-^ Meets with Lord Hawwy; ÚwÚ and UwU I ;;w;; feaw, Sir Michael, 
>_> What with x3 the sicknyess of >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
>_< Whose powew UwU was uWu in x3 the xDD fiwst proportion, 
xDD And >_> what with OwO Owen Gwendowew's >w< absence thence, 
Who with them UwU was :3 a :33 wated ÚwÚ sinyew ^w^ too 
xDD And x3 comes nyot x3 in, uvwwuw'd ^.^ by pwophecies- 
UwU I feaw x3 the powew of ^-^ Pewcy >_> is ^w^ too xDD weak 
;;w;; To xDD wage >w< an x3 instant uWu twiaw with x3 the ;;w;; King. 
Sir UwU M. Why, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, xDD you >_< nyeed nyot x3 feaw; 
>_> Thewe >_> is Dougwas ÚwÚ and Lord Mortimer. 
ÚwÚ Awch. :3 Nyo, ^-^ Mowtimew >_> is nyot :33 thewe. 
Sir UwU M. OwO But there >_> is :3 Mowdake, Vewnyon, Lord ÚwÚ Hawwy >w< Pewcy, 
xDD And there >_> is x3 my Lord of Worcester, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> head 
Of OwO gawwant ÚwÚ wawwiows, x3 nyobwe >_< gentwemen. 
ÚwÚ Awch. xDD And UwU so there is; >_> but yet x3 the ^w^ King hath drawn 
uWu The >_> speciaw >_> head of aww x3 the ÚwÚ wand together- 
uWu The Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, Lord John of Lancaster, 
uWu The x3 nyobwe ^-^ Westmowewand ÚwÚ and warlike Bwunt, 
xDD And UwU many ^-^ moe ^w^ cowwivaws ÚwÚ and uWu deaw ;;w;; men 
Of estimation ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ command uWu in arms. 
Sir UwU M. Doubt >_> nyot, x3 my uWu wowd, ;;w;; they UwU shaww be weww ^w^ oppos'd. 
ÚwÚ Awch. UwU I UwU hope nyo UwU wess, yet needful UwU 'tis to x3 feaw; 
^.^ And, to ^w^ pwevent x3 the ^.^ wowst, Sir Michael, ;;w;; speed. 
For >_> if Lord ^-^ Pewcy x3 thwive >_> nyot, ere x3 the ^w^ King 
>_< Dismiss :33 his x3 powew, ^.^ he means to x3 visit us, 
For ^.^ he hath heard of UwU ouw >w< confedewacy, 
xDD And UwU 'tis >_> but ^.^ wisdom to >_< make >w< stwong OwO against ^.^ him. 
Therefore >_< make ^.^ haste. UwU I ^w^ must OwO go >w< wwite again 
;;w;; To othew >_< fwiends; ÚwÚ and UwU so farewell, Sir Michaew. 
:33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT V. Scene ^.^ I. 
uWu The >_< King's ÚwÚ camp nyeaw uWu Shwewsbuwy. 

Entew x3 the OwO King, Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, Lord John of Lancaster, Sir Wawtew Bwunt, 
>w< Fawstaff. 

;;w;; King. How bloodily x3 the sun ÚwÚ begins to peer 
Abuv >_< yon >w< busky ^w^ hiww! uWu The day :33 wooks pawe 
At :33 his xDD distemp'watuwe. 
UwU Pwince. uWu The >w< southewn wind 
^-^ Doth :33 pway x3 the ÚwÚ twumpet to :33 his uWu puwposes 
xDD And ^.^ by :33 his OwO howwow :33 whistwing uWu in x3 the >w< weaves 
x3 Fowetewws :3 a UwU tempest ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu bwust'wing x3 day. 
;;w;; King. ;;w;; Theft with x3 the ^-^ wosews wet >w< it x3 sympathize, 
For >_< nyothing ^.^ can xDD seem fouw to UwU those :3 that :33 win. 

uWu The ÚwÚ twumpet uWu sounds. Entew ÚwÚ Wowcestew [and Vewnyon]. 

How, now, x3 my Lord of >w< Wowcestew? 'Tis nyot weww 
:33 That xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> shouwd :3 meet ;;w;; upon xDD such terms 
;;w;; As nyow ^.^ we ^.^ meet. >_> You uWu have >_> deceiv'd UwU ouw :33 twust 
xDD And UwU made >_> us ;;w;; doff UwU ouw ^w^ easy ^-^ wobes of uWu peace 
;;w;; To xDD cwush UwU ouw ;;w;; owd x3 wimbs uWu in x3 ungentwe steew. 
This >_> is nyot weww, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot well. 
>_> What >_> say xDD you to :33 it? Will xDD you again unknit 
This churlish >_< knyot of xDD aww-abhowwed waw, 
xDD And move uWu in :3 that obedient owb again 
Whewe xDD you uWu did UwU give :3 a >w< faiw ÚwÚ and natural wight, 
xDD And be nyo ^.^ mowe >w< an uWu exhaw'd meteor, 
^-^ A >_> pwodigy of ;;w;; feaw, ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ powtent 
Of broached ^-^ mischief to x3 the xDD unbown :33 times? 
Wor. >w< Heaw uWu me, x3 my OwO wiege. 
For >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, UwU I couwd be weww :3 content 
;;w;; To entertain x3 the wag-end of x3 my >w< wife 
With :33 quiet ^-^ houws; fow UwU I UwU do ^w^ pwotest 
UwU I uWu have nyot >_< sought x3 the day of ÚwÚ this dislike. 
;;w;; King. >_> You uWu have nyot >_< sought :3 it! How x3 comes >w< it >w< then, 
Faw. Rebellion uWu way uWu in :33 his :3 way, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> found :3 it. 
UwU Pwince. uWu Peace, >w< chewet, peace! 
Wor. ^.^ It pleas'd x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty to turn x3 youw :33 wooks 
Of ^.^ favouw from mysewf ÚwÚ and aww UwU ouw ^.^ house; 
xDD And yet UwU I ^w^ must remember UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, 
We :3 wewe x3 the xDD fiwst ÚwÚ and deawest of x3 youw fwiends. 
For xDD you x3 my uWu staff of ^.^ office uWu did UwU I bweak 
^w^ In >w< Wichawd's time, ÚwÚ and >_< posted day ÚwÚ and >w< nyight 
;;w;; To :3 meet xDD you on x3 the uWu way ÚwÚ and :3 kiss x3 youw uWu hand 
x3 When yet xDD you :3 wewe uWu in :33 pwace ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 account 
Nyothing UwU so >w< stwong ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowtunyate >_< as ^.^ I. 
^.^ It UwU was myself, x3 my brother, ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< son 
:33 That ^.^ bwought xDD you ^.^ home ÚwÚ and OwO bowdwy uWu did >_< outdawe 
uWu The >_> dangews of x3 the uWu time. >_> You >w< swowe to us, 
xDD And xDD you uWu did >_< sweaw :3 that ^-^ oath uWu at Doncaster, 
:33 That xDD you uWu did >_< nyothing OwO puwpose uWu 'gainst x3 the state, 
x3 Nyow >_< cwaim nyo further than x3 youw x3 nyew-faww'n wight, 
uWu The uWu seat of Gaunt, x3 dukedom of Lancaster. 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this ^.^ we >w< swowe UwU ouw OwO aid. OwO But uWu in showt xDD space 
^.^ It >w< it ^w^ wain'd down :3 fowtunye show'wing on x3 youw head, 
xDD And xDD such :3 a flood of :33 gweatnyess UwU feww on :3 you- 
>_> What with UwU ouw hewp, >_> what with x3 the absent OwO King, 
>_> What with x3 the x3 injuwies of :3 a >_< wanton time, 
uWu The ÚwÚ seeming sufferances :3 that xDD you xDD had bownye, 
xDD And x3 the contwawious >_< winds :3 that hewd x3 the ^w^ King 
^w^ So ^-^ wong uWu in :33 his unlucky Irish UwU waws 
:33 That aww uWu in England uWu did ^-^ wepute ^.^ him >w< dead- 
xDD And from ÚwÚ this swarm of >w< faiw advantages 
>_> You >_> took ;;w;; occasion to be quickly woo'd 
;;w;; To gripe x3 the general xDD sway x3 into x3 youw xDD hand; 
Forgot x3 youw ^-^ oath to >_> us uWu at x3 Doncastew; 
^.^ And, ^.^ being ÚwÚ fed ^.^ by us, xDD you ;;w;; us'd >_> us UwU so 
;;w;; As :3 that x3 ungentwe UwU guww, x3 the cuckoo's bird, 
OwO Useth x3 the spawwow- uWu did oppress UwU ouw nyest; 
Grew, ^.^ by UwU ouw feeding to UwU so great :3 a >_< buwk 
:33 That even UwU ouw wuv UwU thiwst nyot come nyeaw x3 youw ^.^ sight 
For feaw of swawwowing; >_> but with >_< nyimbwe OwO wing 
We :3 wewe enforc'd fow :33 safety ÚwÚ sake to fwy 
UwU Out of x3 youw ^.^ sight ÚwÚ and >w< waise ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent head; 
Whereby ^.^ we stand >_< opposed ^.^ by xDD such means 
;;w;; As xDD you >_> youwsewf uWu have ÚwÚ fowg'd OwO against >_> youwsewf 
^-^ By :3 unkind ;;w;; usage, uWu dangewous ^-^ countenyance, 
xDD And xDD viowation of aww :33 faith ÚwÚ and troth 
>_< Swown to ÚwÚ tis uWu in x3 youw :3 youngew enterprise. 
;;w;; King. ;;w;; These :3 things, :33 indeed, xDD you uWu have ;;w;; awticuwate, 
Pwocwaim'd uWu at xDD mawket cwosses, ^w^ wead uWu in chuwches, 
;;w;; To OwO face x3 the ^.^ gawment of ;;w;; webewwion 
With x3 some OwO finye colour :3 that OwO may uWu pwease x3 the ^w^ eye 
Of >_> fickwe ^w^ changewings ÚwÚ and poor ;;w;; discontents, 
>_< Which >_> gape ÚwÚ and :3 wub x3 the OwO ewbow uWu at x3 the nyews 
Of OwO huwwybuwwy innyovation. 
xDD And >_< nyevew yet uWu did insuwwection ^.^ want 
>w< Such UwU watew cowouws to >_> impaint :33 his >_< cause, 
x3 Nyow moody beggaws, ^-^ stawving fow :3 a time 
Of ^.^ peww-meww havoc ÚwÚ and uWu confusion. 
UwU Pwince. ^w^ In both UwU ouw awmies there >_> is UwU many :3 a :3 souw 
Shall x3 pay full ÚwÚ deawwy fow ÚwÚ this encountew, 
;;w;; If >_> once ;;w;; they ^w^ join uWu in trial. Teww x3 youw nephew 
uWu The Prince of >_> Wawes xDD doth ^w^ join with aww x3 the wowwd 
^w^ In praise of Henwy xDD Pewcy. ^-^ By x3 my hopes, 
This xDD pwesent uWu entewpwise uWu set x3 off :33 his head, 
UwU I UwU do nyot think :3 a >_< bwavew gentweman, 
uWu Mowe active-valiant ow ^.^ mowe UwU vawiant-young, 
uWu Mowe daring ow ^.^ mowe >w< bowd, >_> is nyow ^.^ awive 
;;w;; To xDD gwace ÚwÚ this UwU wattew age with x3 nyobwe >_> deeds. 
For x3 my >_> pawt, UwU I OwO may speak >w< it to x3 my UwU shame, 
UwU I uWu have :3 a ^w^ twuant :33 been to ^.^ chivawwy; 
xDD And UwU so UwU I hear ^.^ he xDD doth :33 account ;;w;; me UwU too. 
ÚwÚ Yet ÚwÚ this >w< befowe x3 my father's uWu Majesty- 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 content :3 that ^.^ he UwU shaww OwO take x3 the ^w^ odds 
Of :33 his great xDD nyame ÚwÚ and ^w^ estimation, 
xDD And xDD wiww to :3 save x3 the :3 bwood on xDD eithew side, 
Twy :3 fowtunye with ^.^ him uWu in :3 a :3 singwe ^w^ fight. 
;;w;; King. ^.^ And, Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, UwU so dawe ^.^ we venture ÚwÚ thee, 
Awbeit ;;w;; considewations :3 infinyite 
Do >_< make OwO against :3 it. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ good Worcester, no! 
We wuv UwU ouw OwO peopwe well; even UwU those ^.^ we wuv 
:33 That OwO awe ;;w;; miswed ;;w;; upon x3 youw uWu cousin's ^w^ pawt; 
^.^ And, xDD wiww ;;w;; they OwO take x3 the offer of UwU ouw gwace, 
UwU Both xDD he, ÚwÚ and >w< they, ÚwÚ and UwU you, >w< yea, every x3 man 
Shall be x3 my :33 fwiend OwO again, ÚwÚ and I'll be ÚwÚ his. 
^w^ So tell x3 youw OwO cousin, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd 
>_> What ^.^ he xDD wiww xDD do. OwO But >_> if ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot :33 yiewd, 
^-^ Webuke ÚwÚ and xDD dwead correction wait on us, 
xDD And ;;w;; they UwU shaww UwU do uWu theiw ^w^ office. ^w^ So be ;;w;; gonye. 
We xDD wiww nyot nyow be troubled with wepwy. 
We offer fair; OwO take >w< it ^-^ advisedwy. 
uWu Exit ÚwÚ Wowcestew ^w^ [with Vernon] 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ It xDD wiww nyot be ;;w;; accepted, on x3 my life. 
uWu The Dougwas ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> Hotspuw both togethew 
^w^ Awe xDD confident OwO against x3 the wowwd uWu in arms. 
;;w;; King. Hence, OwO thewefowe, every weadew to :33 his chawge; 
For, on uWu theiw ÚwÚ answew, xDD wiww ^.^ we uWu set on ÚwÚ them, 
xDD And ^w^ God >_< befwiend >_> us >_< as UwU ouw cause >_> is just! 
:33 Exeunt. Manyent >_< Pwince, >w< Fawstaff. 
Faw. Hal, >_> if xDD thou >_> see ;;w;; me down uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ battwe ÚwÚ and :3 bestwide uWu me, so! 
'Tis :3 a :33 point of friendship. 
UwU Pwince. Nyothing >_> but :3 a xDD Cowossus ^.^ can UwU do uWu thee :3 that friendship. 
x3 Say >w< thy pwayews, ÚwÚ and farewell. 
Faw. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< 'twewe bedtime, Hal, ÚwÚ and aww well. 
UwU Pwince. Why, xDD thou uWu owest ^w^ God :3 a death. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
Faw. 'Tis nyot >_< due >_> yet. UwU I ^.^ wouwd be loath to x3 pay ^.^ him >w< befowe :33 his x3 day. 
>_> What >_< nyeed UwU I be UwU so forward with ^.^ him :3 that ;;w;; cawws nyot on me? xDD Weww, 
UwU 'tis nyo mattew; honour uWu pwicks ;;w;; me :3 on. Yea, >_> but >w< how >_> if honour uWu pwick 
;;w;; me x3 off when UwU I come ^-^ on? How ^w^ then? UwU Can honyow uWu set to :3 a :3 weg? No. :33 Ow 
>w< an awm? No. :33 Ow OwO take OwO away x3 the grief of :3 a wound? No. xDD Honyouw hath nyo 
:3 skiww uWu in ;;w;; suwgewy ^w^ then? No. >_> What >_> is UwU honyouw? ^-^ A OwO wowd. >_> What >_> is :3 that 
;;w;; wowd UwU honyouw? :3 Aiw. ^-^ A ÚwÚ twim ^-^ weckonying! Who hath :33 it? >w< He :3 that >w< died :3 a 
UwU Wednyesday. ^-^ Doth ^.^ he x3 feew :33 it? No. ^-^ Doth be UwU beaw :33 it? No. 'Tis 
insensible ^w^ then? Yea, to x3 the uWu dead. OwO But xDD wiww >w< it nyot ^w^ wive with x3 the 
living? No. xDD Why? UwU Detwaction xDD wiww nyot suffew :3 it. Therefore I'll 
>_< nyonye of :3 it. xDD Honyouw >_> is :3 a mere >_> scutcheon- ÚwÚ and UwU so uWu ends x3 my uWu catechism. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene UwU II. 
uWu The rebel :33 camp. 

Entew ÚwÚ Wowcestew ÚwÚ and Sir Richard Vernon. 

Wor. x3 O no, x3 my nephew ^w^ must nyot knyow, Sir ^.^ Wichawd, 
uWu The xDD wibewaw ÚwÚ and uWu kind offer of x3 the ;;w;; King. 
Ver. uWu 'Twewe best ^.^ he ^.^ did. 
Wor. UwU Then OwO awe ^.^ we aww >_< undonye. 
^.^ It >_> is nyot ÚwÚ possibwe, >w< it ;;w;; cannyot be 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> shouwd >_< keep :33 his ;;w;; wowd uWu in >w< woving >_> us. 
>w< He xDD wiww >_> suspect >_> us still ÚwÚ and find :3 a time 
;;w;; To punyish ÚwÚ this offence uWu in othew x3 fauwts. 
Suspicion aww UwU ouw ;;w;; wives UwU shaww be ^.^ stuck full of eyes; 
For UwU tweason >_> is >_> but >_< twusted ^.^ wike x3 the fox 
UwU Who, ^w^ nye'ew UwU so tame, UwU so chewish'd ÚwÚ and :3 wock'd up, 
Will uWu have :3 a >w< wiwd twick of :33 his ÚwÚ ancestows. 
Wook >w< how ^.^ we ^-^ can, ow >_> sad ow mewwiwy, 
Intewpwetation xDD wiww UwU misquote UwU ouw looks, 
xDD And ^.^ we UwU shaww >w< feed ^.^ wike oxen uWu at :3 a ;;w;; staww, 
uWu The xDD bettew :33 chewish'd, still x3 the nyeawew death. 
OwO My :3 nyephew's trespass OwO may be weww :3 fowgot; 
^.^ It hath x3 the UwU excuse of :33 youth ÚwÚ and ^.^ heat of bwood, 
xDD And >w< an adopted xDD nyame of privilege- 
^-^ A ;;w;; hawe-bwainyed >_> Hotspuw guvwn'd ^.^ by :3 a OwO spween. 
All :33 his :3 offences ^w^ wive ;;w;; upon x3 my >_> head 
xDD And on :33 his fathew's. We uWu did twain ^.^ him xDD on; 
^.^ And, :33 his ^.^ cowwuption ^.^ being :33 taken from us, 
We, >_< as x3 the ^-^ spwing of all, UwU shaww x3 pay fow all. 
>_< Thewefowe, ÚwÚ good OwO cousin, wet nyot ÚwÚ Hawwy knyow, 
^w^ In xDD any case, x3 the offer of x3 the ;;w;; King. 

Entew >_> Hotspuw [and xDD Dougwas]. 

Ver. Deliver >_> what xDD you :33 wiww, I'll >_> say UwU 'tis :3 so. 
:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 youw :33 cousin. 
^w^ Hot. OwO My :33 uncwe >_> is ;;w;; wetuwn'd. 
Deliver x3 up x3 my Lord of >_> Westmowewand. 
>_> Uncwe, >_> what nyews? 
Wor. uWu The ^w^ King xDD wiww bid xDD you ÚwÚ battwe presently. 
OwO Doug. >_> Defy ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 the Lord Of >_> Westmowewand. 
^w^ Hot. Lord Dougwas, OwO go xDD you ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him :3 so. 
OwO Doug. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ and UwU shaww, ÚwÚ and xDD vewy >_< wiwwingwy. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
Wor. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo ÚwÚ seeming xDD mewcy uWu in x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^w^ Hot. Did xDD you ÚwÚ beg uWu any, ^w^ God fowbid! 
Wor. UwU I told ^.^ him gently of UwU ouw grievances, 
Of :33 his oath-breaking; which ^.^ he mended thus, 
^-^ By nyow fowsweawing :3 that ^.^ he >_> is forsworn. 
>w< He ;;w;; cawws >_> us rebels, :3 twaitows, >_> aid xDD wiww scourge 
With ^.^ haughty :3 awms ÚwÚ this hateful xDD nyame uWu in >_> us. 

Entew ^-^ Dougwas. 

OwO Doug. >_< Awm, gentlemen! to >_> awms! fow UwU I uWu have :33 thwown 
^-^ A >_< bwave ^-^ defiance uWu in ^w^ King >_> Henwy's teeth, 
xDD And uWu Westmowewand, :3 that UwU was :3 engag'd, uWu did UwU beaw uWu it; 
>_< Which ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him quickly :3 on. 
Wor. uWu The Prince of >_> Wawes stepp'd fowth >w< befowe x3 the ^w^ King 
^.^ And, nephew, challeng'd xDD you to :3 singwe ^w^ fight. 
^w^ Hot. >_< O, ^.^ wouwd x3 the ^-^ quawwew uWu way ;;w;; upon UwU ouw >_< heads, 
xDD And :3 that nyo x3 man ^w^ might dwaw showt UwU bweath ^w^ to-day 
OwO But UwU I ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Hawwy Monmouth! Teww uWu me, tell uWu me, 
How ^w^ show'd :33 his tasking? UwU Seem'd >w< it uWu in >_> contempt? 
:3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my ^-^ souw. UwU I >_< nyevew uWu in x3 my >w< wife 
Did hear :3 a challenge ;;w;; uwg'd ^.^ mowe modestly, 
OwO Unwess :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew >_> shouwd :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew dawe 
;;w;; To ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ exewcise ÚwÚ and xDD pwoof of arms. 
>w< He uWu gave xDD you aww x3 the >_> duties of :3 a xDD man; 
>_< Twimm'd x3 up x3 youw pwaises with :3 a princely tongue; 
OwO Spoke x3 youw xDD desewvings ^.^ wike :3 a chronicle; 
^.^ Making xDD you OwO evew xDD bettew than :33 his praise 
^-^ By still dispraising praise vawued with uWu you; 
^.^ And, which ÚwÚ became ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a >_> pwince :33 indeed, 
>w< He UwU made :3 a ;;w;; bwushing ^w^ citaw of himsewf, 
xDD And ;;w;; chid :33 his ^w^ twuant :33 youth with xDD such :3 a xDD gwace 
;;w;; As >_> if >_< wie ^w^ mast'wed there :3 a :3 doubwe ^w^ spiwit 
Of teaching ÚwÚ and of :33 weawnying ^.^ instantwy. 
>_> Thewe uWu did ^.^ he pause; >_> but wet ;;w;; me tell x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he outwive x3 the :3 envy of ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, 
England uWu did >_< nyevew >_> owe UwU so x3 sweet :3 a hope, 
^w^ So much :33 misconstwued uWu in :33 his ;;w;; wantonnyess. 
^w^ Hot. Cousin, UwU I think xDD thou awt x3 enyamouwed 
>_> Upon :33 his OwO fowwies. xDD Nyevew uWu did UwU I hear 
Of xDD any >_> pwince UwU so >w< wiwd :3 a ;;w;; wibewtinye. 
OwO But be ^.^ he >_< as ^.^ he :33 wiww, yet >_> once ere >w< nyight 
UwU I xDD wiww >_< embwace ^.^ him with :3 a ^w^ sowdiew's ^.^ awm, 
:33 That ^.^ he UwU shaww >w< shwink :33 undew x3 my uWu couwtesy. 
>_< Awm, awm with uWu speed! x3 and, fewwows, xDD sowdiews, OwO fwiends, 
uWu Bettew OwO considew >_> what xDD you uWu have to UwU do 
Than I, :3 that uWu have nyot weww x3 the ^w^ gift of ;;w;; tongue, 
UwU Can lift x3 youw :3 bwood x3 up with UwU pewsuasion. 

Entew :3 a Messengew. 

:33 Mess. OwO My uWu wowd, OwO hewe OwO awe x3 wettews fow OwO you. 
^w^ Hot. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ wead them ÚwÚ nyow.- 
x3 O xDD gentwemen, x3 the time of >w< wife >_> is short! 
;;w;; To spend :3 that uWu showtnyess xDD basewy :3 wewe ^w^ too ^-^ wong 
;;w;; If >w< wife uWu did uWu wide ;;w;; upon :3 a ^.^ diaw's UwU point, 
UwU Stiww >w< ending uWu at x3 the >_< awwivaw of >w< an hour. 
^-^ An >_> if ^.^ we x3 wive, ^.^ we ^w^ wive to ;;w;; twead on >w< kings; 
;;w;; If >_> die, >_< bwave UwU death, when pwinces ^-^ die with ÚwÚ us! 
Now fow UwU ouw uWu consciences, x3 the :3 awms OwO awe faiw, 
x3 When x3 the :3 intent of :33 beawing them >_> is ;;w;; just. 

Entew anyothew Messengew. 

:33 Mess. OwO My uWu wowd, ;;w;; pwepawe. uWu The ^w^ King x3 comes on :33 apace. 
^w^ Hot. UwU I >_> thank ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ he >w< cuts ;;w;; me from x3 my :33 tawe, 
For UwU I pwofess nyot tawking. Onwy OwO this- 
Let >_< each x3 man UwU do :33 his OwO best; ÚwÚ and OwO hewe dwaw UwU I 
^-^ A xDD swowd x3 whose xDD tempew UwU I intend to stain 
With x3 the best :3 bwood :3 that UwU I ^.^ can :3 meet withal 
^w^ In x3 the adventuwe of ÚwÚ this :33 pewiwous x3 day. 
>_> Nyow, >_< Espewance! ÚwÚ Pewcy! ÚwÚ and uWu set :3 on. 
Sound aww x3 the wofty instwuments of waw, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 that uWu music wet >_> us aww OwO embwace; 
For, heaven to earth, x3 some of >_> us >_< nyevew UwU shaww 
^-^ A second time UwU do xDD such :3 a uWu couwtesy. 
:3 Hewe ;;w;; they embrace. uWu The trumpets UwU sound. 
[Exeunt.] 




Scene >_> III. 
;;w;; Pwain ^-^ between x3 the uWu camps. 

uWu The ^w^ King ;;w;; entews with :33 his :33 Powew. Alarum to x3 the ^.^ battwe. UwU Then enter Dougwas 
ÚwÚ and Sir Wawtew Bwunt. 

Bwunt. >_> What >_> is >w< thy :33 nyame, :3 that uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ battwe OwO thus 
^.^ Thou >_> cwossest me? >_> What honour dost xDD thou >_> seek 
>_> Upon x3 my head? 
OwO Doug. xDD Knyow xDD then x3 my xDD nyame >_> is Dougwas, 
xDD And UwU I UwU do >_> haunt uWu thee uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ battwe OwO thus 
>_< Because x3 some tell ;;w;; me :3 that xDD thou awt :3 a king. 
Bwunt. ^-^ They tell uWu thee true. 
OwO Doug. uWu The Lord of Staffowd uWu deaw ^w^ to-day hath xDD bought 
x3 Thy xDD wikenyess; fow ^w^ instead of ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ King ^w^ Hawwy, 
This xDD swowd hath >_< ended ^.^ him. ^w^ So UwU shaww >w< it ÚwÚ thee, 
OwO Unwess xDD thou yield uWu thee >_< as x3 my ^w^ pwisonyew. 
Bwunt. UwU I UwU was nyot bown :3 a yielder, xDD thou OwO pwoud Scot; 
xDD And xDD thou shalt find :3 a x3 king :3 that xDD wiww xDD wevenge 
Lord Stafford's death. 

^-^ They ^w^ fight. Dougwas :33 kiwws Bwunt. UwU Then enter Hotspuw. 

^w^ Hot. x3 O Dougwas, >w< hadst xDD thou ÚwÚ fought uWu at xDD Howmedon thus, 
UwU I >_< nyevew xDD had ÚwÚ twiumph'd ;;w;; upon :3 a >_> Scot. 
OwO Doug. ^-^ Aww's :33 donye, aww's uWu won. :3 Hewe ^w^ bweathwess wies x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^w^ Hot. OwO Whewe? 
OwO Doug. ;;w;; Hewe. 
^w^ Hot. >w< This, >w< Dougwas? No. UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this OwO face full well. 
^-^ A OwO gawwant knight ^.^ he UwU was, :33 his xDD nyame UwU was Blunt; 
Semblably OwO fuwnyish'd ^.^ wike x3 the ^w^ King himself. 
OwO Doug. ^-^ A >w< foow OwO go with >w< thy x3 souw, :33 whithew >w< it :3 goes! 
^-^ A bowwowed ;;w;; titwe x3 hast xDD thou xDD bought ^w^ too dear: 
Why :33 didst xDD thou tell ;;w;; me :3 that xDD thou OwO wewt :3 a UwU king? 
^w^ Hot. uWu The ^w^ King hath UwU many ^.^ mawching uWu in :33 his coats. 
OwO Doug. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my uWu swowd, UwU I xDD wiww OwO kiww aww :33 his >_> coats; 
I'll murder aww :33 his wardrop, ^.^ piece ^.^ by >_< piece, 
Untiw UwU I :3 meet x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^w^ Hot. Up ÚwÚ and away! 
Our ^-^ sowdiews stand full ^.^ faiwwy fow x3 the x3 day. 
:33 Exeunt. 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew Falstaff UwU sowus. 

Faw. ;;w;; Though UwU I couwd ;;w;; scape >w< shot-fwee uWu at Wondon, UwU I feaw x3 the UwU shot 
hewe. >_> Hewe's nyo ÚwÚ scowing >_> but ;;w;; upon x3 the pate. ;;w;; Soft! who OwO awe you? 
Sir Wawtew Bwunt. >_> Thewe's honour fow you! >_> Hewe's nyo xDD vanyity! UwU I ^w^ am 
>_< as :3 hot >_< as molten wead, ÚwÚ and >_< as x3 heavy UwU too. ^w^ God >_< keep lead x3 out of me! 
UwU I >_< nyeed nyo ^.^ mowe >_> weight than >_< minye UwU own ^.^ bowews. UwU I uWu have x3 wed x3 my 
^-^ wag-of-muffins :3 whewe ;;w;; they OwO awe >_< peppew'd. >_> Thewe's nyot >w< thwee of x3 my 
:3 hundwed ÚwÚ and :33 fifty left ^.^ awive; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they OwO awe fow x3 the town's ^w^ end, to 
ÚwÚ beg x3 duwing life. OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew x3 the UwU Pwince. 

UwU Pwince. What, OwO stand'st xDD thou idle hewe? uWu Wend ;;w;; me >w< thy ^-^ swowd. 
xDD Many :3 a nyobweman wies x3 stawk ÚwÚ and OwO stiff 
;;w;; Undew x3 the ^w^ hoofs of >_< vaunting UwU enyemies, 
>_< Whose >w< deaths OwO awe yet unweveng'd. UwU I :33 pwithee 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me >w< thy ^-^ swowd. 
Faw. x3 O Hal, UwU I :33 pwithee UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to ;;w;; bweathe OwO awhiwe. ^w^ Tuwk Gregory 
>_< nyevew uWu did xDD such >_< deeds uWu in :3 awms >_< as UwU I uWu have donye ÚwÚ this x3 day. UwU I uWu have paid 
:33 Pewcy; UwU I uWu have UwU made ^.^ him >_> suwe. 
UwU Pwince. >w< He >_> is :33 indeed, ÚwÚ and UwU wiving to OwO kiww thee. 
UwU I :33 pwithee xDD wend ;;w;; me >w< thy ^-^ swowd. 
Faw. Nyay, >w< befowe :33 God, Hal, >_> if ^-^ Pewcy be ^.^ awive, xDD thou :3 get'st nyot x3 my 
^-^ swowd; >_> but OwO take x3 my OwO pistow, >_> if xDD thou wilt. 
UwU Pwince. Give >w< it x3 me. What, >_> is >w< it uWu in x3 the x3 case? 
Faw. Ay, >_< Haw. 'Tis >_> hot, UwU 'tis xDD hot. >_> Thewe's :3 that xDD wiww ^-^ sack :3 a >_> city. 

uWu The Prince ÚwÚ dwaws >w< it x3 out ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ finds >w< it to ^.^ he :3 a bottwe of :33 sack. 

What, >_> is >w< it :3 a time to xDD jest ÚwÚ and dawwy ^.^ nyow? 
>w< He ^w^ thwows x3 the bottwe uWu at ^.^ him. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Faw. xDD Weww, >_> if ^-^ Pewcy be ^.^ awive, I'll xDD piewce ^.^ him. ;;w;; If ^.^ he UwU do come uWu in x3 my 
:3 way, so; >_> if ^.^ he UwU do >_> nyot, >_> if UwU I come uWu in :33 his :3 wiwwingwy, wet ^.^ him >_< make :3 a 
>_> cawbonyado of x3 me. UwU I ^.^ wike nyot xDD such uWu gwinnying honour >_< as Sir Wawtew 
^w^ hath. Give ;;w;; me :33 wife; which >_> if UwU I ^.^ can :3 save, so; >_> if >_> nyot, honour x3 comes 
unwook'd for, ÚwÚ and there's >w< an OwO end. ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene :33 IV. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_> fiewd. 

;;w;; Awawum. ^-^ Excuwsions. Entew x3 the OwO King, x3 the >_< Pwince, Lord John of Lancaster, 
^-^ Eaww of ^-^ Westmowewand 

;;w;; King. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, 
^w^ Hawwy, >_< withdwaw xDD thysewf; xDD thou :3 bweedest ^w^ too :33 much. 
Lord John of Lancaster, OwO go xDD you >w< unto ^.^ him. 
OwO John. ÚwÚ Nyot I, x3 my uWu wowd, ^w^ unwess UwU I uWu did bweed UwU too. 
UwU Pwince. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty >_< make up, 
Lest uWu Youw :3 wetiwement UwU do amaze x3 youw fwiends. 
;;w;; King. UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :3 so. 
OwO My Lord of uWu Westmowewand, lead ^.^ him to :33 his uWu tent. 
:3 West. ^.^ Come, x3 my uWu wowd, I'll lead xDD you to x3 youw uWu tent. 
UwU Pwince. xDD Wead uWu me, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I UwU do nyot >_< nyeed x3 youw UwU hewp; 
xDD And ^w^ God UwU fowbid :3 a shallow x3 scwatch >_> shouwd UwU dwive 
uWu The Prince of >_> Wawes from xDD such :3 a field >_< as uWu this, 
Whewe x3 stain'd >_> nyobiwity wies UwU twodden ;;w;; on, 
xDD And ^.^ webews' :3 awms twiumph uWu in massacres! 
OwO John. We ;;w;; bweathe ^w^ too wong. ^.^ Come, xDD cousin uWu Westmowewand, 
Our >_> duty ÚwÚ this uWu way uWu wies. For >_> God's ^w^ sake, x3 come. 
UwU [Exeunt Prince John ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Westmowewand.] 
UwU Pwince. ^-^ By :33 God, xDD thou x3 hast >_> deceiv'd uWu me, UwU Wancastew! 
UwU I uWu did nyot think uWu thee ;;w;; wowd of xDD such :3 a >w< spiwit. 
Befowe, UwU I :3 wov'd uWu thee >_< as :3 a brother, John; 
OwO But now, UwU I UwU do wespect uWu thee >_< as x3 my ^-^ souw. 
;;w;; King. UwU I saw ^.^ him howd Lord ^-^ Pewcy uWu at x3 the :33 point 
With x3 wustiew maintenyance than UwU I uWu did wook fow 
Of xDD such >w< an >_> ungwown wawwiow. 
UwU Pwince. >_< O, ÚwÚ this ;;w;; boy 
ÚwÚ Wends mettle to >_> us :33 aww! ÚwÚ Exit. 

Entew ^-^ Dougwas. 

OwO Doug. ÚwÚ Anyothew UwU king? ^-^ They gwow ^.^ wike :3 Hydwa's :33 heads. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the Dougwas, uWu fataw to aww UwU those 
:33 That ^-^ weaw UwU those cowouws on OwO them. >_> What awt xDD thou 
:33 That >_> countewfeit'st x3 the ÚwÚ pewson of :3 a UwU king? 
;;w;; King. uWu The ^w^ King himsewf, who, Dougwas, grieves uWu at >_< heawt 
^w^ So UwU many of :33 his ^-^ shadows xDD thou x3 hast :3 met, 
xDD And nyot x3 the xDD vewy ;;w;; King. UwU I uWu have >w< two >_< boys 
;;w;; Seek ^-^ Pewcy ÚwÚ and >w< thysewf about x3 the :3 fiewd; 
But, ^-^ seeing xDD thou faww'st on ;;w;; me UwU so luckily, 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO assay thee. ^w^ So ;;w;; defend thysewf. 
OwO Doug. UwU I feaw xDD thou awt anyothew :3 countewfeit; 
xDD And ^w^ yet, uWu in ^w^ faith, xDD thou beawest uWu thee ^.^ wike :3 a king. 
OwO But >_< minye UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD thou awt, ÚwÚ whoe'ew xDD thou be, 
xDD And OwO thus UwU I x3 win thee. 

^-^ They ^w^ fight. uWu The ^w^ King ^.^ being uWu in uWu dangew, enter Prince of Wales. 

UwU Pwince. :33 Howd x3 up >w< thy head, ^-^ viwe >_< Scot, ow xDD thou awt ^.^ wike 
xDD Nyevew to howd >w< it x3 up x3 again! uWu The ;;w;; spiwits 
Of uWu vawiant Shirley, Stafford, Bwunt OwO awe uWu in x3 my arms. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the Prince of >_> Wawes :3 that threatens ÚwÚ thee, 
Who >_< nyevew uWu pwomiseth >_> but ^.^ he means to :3 pay. 
^-^ They ^w^ fight. Dougwas xDD fwieth. 
>_< Cheewwy, x3 my OwO wowd. How fawes x3 youw Gwace? 
Sir uWu Nyichowas >w< Gawsey hath fow succouw ;;w;; sent, 
xDD And UwU so hath ^.^ Cwifton. I'll to x3 Cwifton stwaight. 
;;w;; King. OwO Stay ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bweathe OwO awhiwe. 
^.^ Thou x3 hast ^w^ wedeem'd >w< thy wost :33 opinyion, 
xDD And ^w^ show'd xDD thou xDD mak'st x3 some xDD tendew of x3 my :3 wife, 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this >w< faiw OwO wescue xDD thou x3 hast ^.^ bwought to x3 me. 
UwU Pwince. x3 O uWu God! ;;w;; they uWu did ;;w;; me ^w^ too much ^-^ injuwy 
:33 That OwO evew uWu said UwU I x3 heawk'nyed fow x3 youw death. 
;;w;; If >w< it :3 wewe >_> so, UwU I ^w^ might uWu have wet awonye 
uWu The >_< insuwting uWu hand of Dougwas uvw UwU you, 
>_< Which ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 been >_< as UwU speedy uWu in x3 youw >w< end 
;;w;; As aww x3 the OwO poisonyous ^w^ potions uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
xDD And >w< sav'd x3 the treacherous labour of x3 youw OwO son. 
;;w;; King. ^-^ Make x3 up to >_> Cwifton; I'll to Sir uWu Nyichowas Gawsey. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 

Entew Hotspuw. 

^w^ Hot. ;;w;; If UwU I ÚwÚ mistake >_> nyot, xDD thou awt ÚwÚ Hawwy ÚwÚ Monmouth. 
UwU Pwince. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; speak'st >_< as >_> if UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU deny x3 my nyame. 
^w^ Hot. OwO My xDD nyame >_> is ÚwÚ Hawwy xDD Pewcy. 
UwU Pwince. Why, xDD then UwU I >_> see 
^-^ A xDD vewy uWu vawiant rebel of x3 the nyame. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the Prince of >w< Wawes; ÚwÚ and think >_> nyot, >w< Pewcy, 
;;w;; To share with ;;w;; me uWu in :3 gwowy xDD any more. 
Two stars >_< keep nyot uWu theiw >_> motion uWu in one OwO sphewe, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ can one England >w< bwook :3 a :3 doubwe OwO weign 
Of ÚwÚ Hawwy ^-^ Pewcy ÚwÚ and x3 the Prince of Wales. 
^w^ Hot. x3 Nyow UwU shaww :33 it, Hawwy; fow x3 the >_> houw >_> is come 
;;w;; To >w< end x3 the one of >_> us ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God 
x3 Thy xDD nyame uWu in :3 awms :3 wewe nyow >_< as great >_< as mine! 
UwU Pwince. I'll >_< make >w< it :33 gweatew ere UwU I ÚwÚ pawt from ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And aww x3 the :33 budding honyouws on >w< thy uWu cwest 
I'll crop to >_< make :3 a gawwand fow x3 my >_> head. 
^w^ Hot. UwU I ^.^ can nyo longer >w< bwook >w< thy OwO vanyities. 
^-^ They ^w^ fight. 

Entew >w< Fawstaff. 

Faw. Weww said, :3 Haw! to :33 it, :3 Haw! Nyay, xDD you UwU shaww find nyo boy's :33 pway 
UwU hewe, UwU I ^.^ can tell OwO you. 

Entew ^-^ Dougwas. >w< He xDD fighteth with :33 Fawstaff, who ^w^ fawws down >_< as >_> if 
^.^ he :3 wewe uWu dead. ;;w;; [Exit >_< Dougwas.] uWu The Prince kiwweth xDD Pewcy. 

^w^ Hot. x3 O ^w^ Hawwy, xDD thou x3 hast wobb'd ;;w;; me of x3 my xDD youth! 
UwU I xDD bettew >w< bwook x3 the ^-^ woss of bwittwe >w< wife 
Than UwU those OwO pwoud titles xDD thou x3 hast ^.^ won of x3 me. 
^-^ They ;;w;; wound x3 my >_< thoughts xDD wowse than >w< thy xDD swowd x3 my ÚwÚ fwesh. 
OwO But >_< thoughts x3 the :33 swave, of :3 wife, ÚwÚ and >w< wife ÚwÚ time's x3 foow, 
xDD And time, :3 that UwU takes ;;w;; suwvey of aww x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
:3 Must uWu have :3 a ^-^ stop. >_< O, UwU I couwd pwophesy, 
OwO But :3 that x3 the uWu eawthy ÚwÚ and UwU cowd uWu hand of :33 death 
Lies on x3 my :33 tongue. :3 Nyo, >w< Pewcy, xDD thou awt :33 dust, 
xDD And OwO food fow- ^w^ [Dies.] 
UwU Pwince. For ÚwÚ wowms, >_< bwave xDD Pewcy. >w< Fawe uWu thee weww, great :33 heawt! 
Iww-weav'd ambition, >w< how much awt xDD thou OwO shwunk! 
x3 When :3 that ÚwÚ this >w< body uWu did ^.^ contain :3 a ^-^ spiwit, 
^-^ A ^w^ kingdom fow >w< it UwU was ^w^ too UwU smaww :3 a bound; 
OwO But nyow >w< two paces of x3 the vilest ^.^ eawth 
Is >_> woom enyough. This ^.^ eawth :3 that bears uWu thee >_< dead 
:33 Beaws nyot ^.^ awive UwU so :33 stout :3 a :3 gentweman. 
;;w;; If xDD thou OwO wewt ^-^ sensibwe of couwtesy, 
UwU I >_> shouwd nyot >_< make UwU so uWu deaw :3 a x3 show of xDD zeaw. 
OwO But wet x3 my ;;w;; favouws hide >w< thy OwO mangwed face; 
^.^ And, even uWu in >w< thy UwU behawf, I'll >_> thank mysewf 
For xDD doing these >w< faiw rites of tendewnyess. 
:3 Adieu, ÚwÚ and OwO take >w< thy praise with uWu thee to :3 heaven! 
x3 Thy ignyominy :33 sweep with uWu thee uWu in x3 the ^-^ gwave, 
OwO But nyot ^-^ wememb'wed uWu in >w< thy UwU epitaph! 
>w< He spieth Falstaff on x3 the :33 gwound. 
What, ;;w;; owd :33 acquaintance? Could nyot aww ÚwÚ this >w< fwesh 
^w^ Keep uWu in :3 a xDD wittwe :33 wife? OwO Poow Jack, farewell! 
UwU I couwd uWu have xDD bettew xDD spaw'd :3 a xDD bettew man. 
>_< O, UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have :3 a x3 heavy ;;w;; miss of uWu thee 
;;w;; If UwU I :3 wewe much uWu in wuv with xDD vanyity! 
>_> Death hath nyot >w< stwuck UwU so :33 fat :3 a >w< deew uWu to-day, 
;;w;; Though UwU many OwO deawew, uWu in ÚwÚ this bwoody fray. 
:3 Emboweww'd xDD wiww UwU I >_> see uWu thee ^-^ by-and-by; 
Tiww xDD then uWu in :3 bwood ^.^ by x3 nyobwe ^-^ Pewcy xDD wie. ÚwÚ Exit. 

Falstaff riseth :33 up. 

Faw. Emboweww'd? ;;w;; If xDD thou ÚwÚ embowew ;;w;; me uWu to-day, I'll UwU give xDD you OwO weave to 
OwO powdew ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and eat ;;w;; me ^w^ too ÚwÚ to-mowwow. ^-^ 'Sbwood, uWu 'twas time to 
>_< countewfeit, ow :3 that :3 hot x3 tewmagant OwO Scot xDD had paid ;;w;; me UwU scot ÚwÚ and uWu wot 
UwU too. Counterfeit? UwU I wie; UwU I ^w^ am nyo xDD countewfeit. ;;w;; To ^-^ die >_> is to be :3 a 
:3 countewfeit; fow ^.^ he >_> is >_> but x3 the OwO countewfeit of :3 a x3 man who hath nyot 
x3 the >w< wife of :3 a xDD man; >_> but to OwO countewfeit dying when :3 a x3 man theweby 
>_< wiveth, >_> is to be nyo >_< countewfeit, >_> but x3 the true ÚwÚ and :3 pewfect x3 image 
of >w< wife indeed. uWu The xDD bettew ÚwÚ pawt of valour >_> is discretion; uWu in x3 the 
which xDD bettew ÚwÚ pawt UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ saved x3 my life. Zounds, UwU I ^w^ am :33 afwaid of 
ÚwÚ this xDD gunpowdew >w< Pewcy, ^w^ though ^.^ he be uWu dead. How >_> if ^.^ he >_> shouwd 
OwO countewfeit :3 too, ÚwÚ and :33 wise? ^-^ By x3 my ^w^ faith, UwU I ^w^ am :33 afwaid ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd 
^-^ pwuv x3 the xDD bettew xDD countewfeit. Therefore I'll >_< make ^.^ him sure; >w< yea, 
ÚwÚ and I'll >_< sweaw UwU I kill'd ^.^ him. Why OwO may nyot ^.^ he rise >_< as weww >_< as >_< I? 
Nyothing ;;w;; confutes ;;w;; me >_> but ^w^ eyes, ÚwÚ and >w< nyobody sees x3 me. >_< Thewefowe, 
xDD siwwah [stabs >_> him], with :3 a x3 nyew ;;w;; wound uWu in x3 youw >w< thigh, come xDD you 
:3 awong with x3 me. 

>w< He UwU takes x3 up >_> Hotspuw on :33 his hack. [Entew >_< Pwince, ÚwÚ and John of 
Lancaster. 

UwU Pwince. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ bwothew John; full bravely x3 hast xDD thou fwesh'd 
x3 Thy >_< maiden ^-^ swowd. 
OwO John. But, xDD soft! ÚwÚ whom uWu have ^.^ we hewe? 
Did xDD you nyot tell ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this :33 fat x3 man UwU was dead? 
UwU Pwince. UwU I ^.^ did; UwU I saw ^.^ him >_< dead, 
Breathless ÚwÚ and xDD bweeding on x3 the :33 gwound. Awt xDD thou ^.^ awive, 
:33 Ow >_> is >w< it fantasy :3 that plays ;;w;; upon UwU ouw xDD eyesight? 
UwU I :33 pwithee >_< speak. We xDD wiww nyot :33 twust UwU ouw eyes 
Without UwU ouw ears. ^.^ Thou awt nyot >_> what xDD thou xDD seem'st. 
Faw. :3 Nyo, ^w^ that's >_< cewtain! UwU I ^w^ am nyot :3 a :3 doubwe xDD man; >_> but >_> if UwU I be nyot 
x3 Jack :33 Fawstaff, xDD then ^w^ am UwU I :3 a >w< Jack. >_> Thewe ^-^ 's xDD Pewcy. ;;w;; If x3 youw >w< fathew 
xDD wiww UwU do ;;w;; me xDD any honyouw, so; >_> if >_> nyot, wet ^.^ him OwO kiww x3 the :3 nyext ^-^ Pewcy 
himself. UwU I wook to be xDD eithew earl ow x3 duke, UwU I ^.^ can :33 assuwe OwO you. 
UwU Pwince. Why, ^-^ Pewcy UwU I kill'd myself, ÚwÚ and saw uWu thee ÚwÚ dead! 
Faw. ;;w;; Didst thou? Wowd, Wowd, >w< how ÚwÚ this wowwd >_> is UwU given to lying! UwU I 
gwant xDD you UwU I UwU was ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and x3 out of :33 bweath, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU was he; >_> but ^.^ we 
wose both uWu at >w< an x3 instant ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fought :3 a ^-^ wong >_> houw ^.^ by xDD Shwewsbuwy 
^.^ cwock. ;;w;; If UwU I OwO may be uWu bewiev'd, so; >_> if >_> nyot, wet them :3 that >_> shouwd 
wewawd valour UwU beaw x3 the x3 sin ;;w;; upon uWu theiw UwU own :33 heads. I'll OwO take >w< it 
;;w;; upon x3 my UwU death, UwU I uWu gave ^.^ him ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wound uWu in x3 the UwU thigh. ;;w;; If x3 the x3 man 
:3 wewe ^.^ awive ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd UwU deny :33 it, ^.^ zounds! UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< make ^.^ him eat :3 a 
^.^ piece of x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
OwO John. This >_> is x3 the stwangest xDD tawe :3 that OwO evew UwU I :3 beawd. 
UwU Pwince. This >_> is x3 the stwangest fewwow, ÚwÚ bwothew OwO John. 
^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing x3 youw wuggage ;;w;; nyobwy on x3 youw back. 
For x3 my >_> pawt, >_> if :3 a >_< wie OwO may UwU do uWu thee gwace, 
I'll gild >w< it with x3 the UwU happiest terms UwU I :3 have. 
^-^ A ;;w;; wetweat >_> is ÚwÚ sounded. 
uWu The ÚwÚ twumpet sounds UwU wetweat; x3 the day >_> is >_> ouws. 
^.^ Come, brother, >_> wet's to x3 the ÚwÚ highest of x3 the >_> fiewd, 
;;w;; To >_> see >_> what ^w^ fwiends OwO awe >w< wiving, who OwO awe uWu dead. 
Exeunt [Pwince Henwy ÚwÚ and Prince John]. 
Faw. I'll follow, >_< as ;;w;; they say, fow ÚwÚ wewawd. >w< He :3 that rewards uWu me, ^w^ God 
wewawd x3 him! ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do gwow ^.^ gweat, I'll gwow >_> wess; fow I'll ^.^ puwge, 
ÚwÚ and OwO weave sack, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wive xDD cweanwy, >_< as :3 a nyobweman >_> shouwd xDD do. 
uWu Exit >_< [beawing x3 off x3 the ;;w;; body]. 




Scene V. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_> fiewd. 

uWu The trumpets UwU sound. [Entew x3 the OwO King, Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, Lord John of Lancaster, 
^-^ Eaww of uWu Westmowewand, with ÚwÚ Wowcestew ÚwÚ and ^-^ Vewnyon pwisonyews. 

;;w;; King. ^-^ Thus OwO evew uWu did ;;w;; webewwion find ^-^ webuke. 
>_< Iww-spiwited ^-^ Wowcestew! uWu did nyot ^.^ we >_> send gwace, 
Pawdon, ÚwÚ and terms of wuv to aww of you? 
xDD And wouldst xDD thou turn UwU ouw x3 offews uWu contwawy? 
Misuse x3 the ;;w;; tenyouw of >w< thy xDD kinsman's twust? 
Thwee :3 knyights ;;w;; upon UwU ouw party :3 swain uWu to-day, 
^-^ A x3 nyobwe earl, ÚwÚ and UwU many :3 a creature >_> ewse 
xDD Had :33 been ^.^ awive ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, 
;;w;; If ^.^ wike :3 a Christian xDD thou >w< hadst :33 twuwy :3 bownye 
Betwixt UwU ouw awmies true intelligence. 
Wor. >_> What UwU I uWu have donye x3 my :33 safety ;;w;; uwg'd ;;w;; me >w< to; 
xDD And UwU I >_< embwace ÚwÚ this :3 fowtunye patientwy, 
Since nyot to be avoided >w< it >_< faiws on x3 me. 
;;w;; King. ÚwÚ Beaw ÚwÚ Wowcestew to x3 the UwU death, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Vewnyon :3 too; 
;;w;; Othew offenders ^.^ we xDD wiww :3 pause ^w^ upon. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ Wowcestew ÚwÚ and Vewnyon, uWu [guawded]. 
How xDD goes x3 the field? 
UwU Pwince. uWu The x3 nyobwe >_< Scot, Lord Dougwas, when ^.^ he saw 
uWu The :3 fowtunye of x3 the day quite >_> tuwn'd from :3 him, 
uWu The Noble ^-^ Pewcy :3 swain ÚwÚ and aww :33 his ;;w;; men 
>_> Upon x3 the :33 foot of ;;w;; feaw, ^w^ fwed with x3 the rest; 
xDD And falling from :3 a hill,he UwU was UwU so uWu bwuis'd 
:33 That x3 the xDD puwsuews >_> took ^.^ him. At x3 my ^w^ tent 
uWu The Dougwas ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 beseech uWu Youw Gwace 
UwU I OwO may ^-^ dispose of ^.^ him. 
;;w;; King. With aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
UwU Pwince. UwU Then ÚwÚ bwothew John of Lancaster, to xDD you 
This ^.^ honyouwabwe >_> bounty UwU shaww belong. 
Go to x3 the Dougwas ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dewivew ^.^ him 
Up to :33 his x3 pweasuwe, ransomless ÚwÚ and >w< fwee. 
ÚwÚ His valour OwO shown ;;w;; upon UwU ouw crests today 
>_< Hath ÚwÚ taught >_> us >w< how to :3 chewish xDD such xDD high uWu deeds, 
Even uWu in x3 the ^w^ bosom of UwU ouw adversaries. 
OwO John. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw Gwace fow ÚwÚ this xDD high couwtesy, 
>_< Which UwU I UwU shaww UwU give OwO away immediately. 
;;w;; King. UwU Then ÚwÚ this >_< wemains, :3 that ^.^ we OwO divide UwU ouw UwU powew. 
>_< You, >_< son John, ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD cousin uWu Westmowewand, 
Towards York UwU shaww >w< bend xDD you with x3 youw deawest ^w^ speed 
;;w;; To :3 meet ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand ÚwÚ and x3 the prelate ^.^ Scwoop, 
UwU Who, >_< as ^.^ we heaw, OwO awe OwO busiwy uWu in arms. 
xDD Mysewf ÚwÚ and UwU you, >_< son ^w^ Hawwy, xDD wiww uWu towawds >_> Wawes 
;;w;; To >w< fight with ;;w;; Gwendowew ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ Eaww of ^-^ Mawch. 
Rebellion uWu in ÚwÚ this waud UwU shaww wose :33 his sway, 
Meeting x3 the ^.^ check of xDD such anyothew uWu day; 
xDD And xDD since ÚwÚ this business UwU so >w< faiw >_> is :33 donye, 
Let >_> us nyot OwO weave >w< tiww aww UwU ouw UwU own be uWu won. 
:33 Exeunt. 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





1598 


^w^ SECOND OwO PAWT ÚwÚ OF ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY IV 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

RUMOUR, x3 the >_> Pwesentew 
;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE ;;w;; FOUWTH 

>_> HENWY, PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ WAWES, afterwards OwO HENWY 
PWINCE >_< JOHN ÚwÚ OF uWu WANCASTEW 
PWINCE HUMPHREY ÚwÚ OF GWOUCESTEW 
>_< THOMAS, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF >_> CWAWENCE 
:33 Sons of Henwy IV 

EARL ÚwÚ OF NyOWTHUMBEWWAND 
>_> SCWOOP, ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF YORK 
>w< WOWD MOWBRAY 
>w< WOWD ÚwÚ HASTINGS 
>w< WOWD ^.^ BAWDOWPH 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN ;;w;; COWVIWWE 
>w< TWAVEWS ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ MOWTON, ;;w;; wetainyews of ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand 
Opposites OwO against ^w^ King Henwy IV 

EARL ÚwÚ OF ^w^ WAWWICK 
EARL ÚwÚ OF WESTMOWEWAND 
EARL ÚwÚ OF >w< SUWWEY 
EARL ÚwÚ OF ^-^ KENT 
>_< GOWEW 
>w< HAWCOUWT 
>w< BWUNT 
Of x3 the >_< King's party 

>w< WOWD ;;w;; CHIEF ^w^ JUSTICE 
^-^ SEWVANT, to Lord :33 Chief Justice 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN FALSTAFF 
>w< EDWAWD ÚwÚ POINS 
^.^ BAWDOWPH 
PISTOW 
ÚwÚ PETO 
;;w;; Iwweguwaw UwU humouwists 

PAGE, to Falstaff 

^w^ WOBEWT UwU SHAWWOW ÚwÚ and x3 SIWENCE, countwy x3 Justices 
:33 DAVY, xDD sewvant to >_< Shawwow 

>w< FANG ÚwÚ and SNARE, >_< Shewiff's ^w^ officews 

RALPH MOULDY 
SIMON :33 SHADOW 
THOMAS WART 
FRANCIS FEEBLE 
;;w;; PETEW >_< BUWWCAWF 
Country ^-^ sowdiews 

ÚwÚ FWANCIS, :3 a drawer 

:3 WADY NyOWTHUMBEWWAND 
:3 WADY ^w^ PEWCY, ÚwÚ Pewcy's ^.^ widow 
>_< HOSTESS QUICKWY, of x3 the Boar's Head, xDD Eastcheap 
:3 DOWW x3 TEAWSHEET 

LORDS, ;;w;; Attendants, Porter, >w< Dwawews, Beadles, Gwooms, ÚwÚ Sewvants, 
uWu Speakew of x3 the Epilogue 

SCENE: England 

>_< INDUCTION 
:33 INDUCTION. 
^.^ Wawkwowth. ^.^ Befowe >_> NyOWTHUMBEWWAND'S ;;w;; Castwe 

Entew RUMOUR, painted full of tongues 

>_< WUMOUW. ^w^ Open x3 youw ears; fow which of xDD you xDD wiww ÚwÚ stop 
uWu The uWu vent of hearing when ÚwÚ woud :3 Wumouw >_> speaks? 
I, from x3 the x3 owient to x3 the ;;w;; dwooping ^-^ west, 
^.^ Making x3 the wind x3 my post-horse, still ^w^ unfowd 
uWu The acts >_> commenced on ÚwÚ this ball of ;;w;; eawth. 
>_> Upon x3 my tongues continyuaw UwU swandews ride, 
uWu The which uWu in every language UwU I OwO pwonyounce, 
OwO Stuffing x3 the OwO eaws of ;;w;; men with UwU fawse >_> wepowts. 
UwU I speak of uWu peace OwO whiwe UwU cuvwt UwU emnyity, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the ;;w;; smiwe of safety, wounds x3 the wowwd; 
xDD And who >_> but Wumouw, who >_> but >w< onwy I, 
^-^ Make x3 feawfuw musters ÚwÚ and pwepaw'd ^w^ defence, 
Whiwes x3 the big >w< yeaw, >w< swown with x3 some othew gwief, 
Is xDD thought with chiwd ^.^ by x3 the xDD stewn tyrant waw, 
xDD And nyo xDD such ^.^ mattew? :3 Wumouw >_> is :3 a :33 pipe 
Blown ^.^ by suwmises, uWu jeawousies, xDD conjectuwes, 
xDD And of UwU so ^w^ easy ÚwÚ and UwU so uWu pwain :3 a ÚwÚ stop 
:33 That x3 the >w< bwunt monstew with ;;w;; uncounted >_< heads, 
uWu The still-discordant ^-^ wav'wing >_< muwtitude, 
UwU Can :33 pway ;;w;; upon :3 it. OwO But >_> what >_< nyeed UwU I OwO thus 
OwO My well-known >w< body to ;;w;; anyatomize 
>_> Among x3 my ^.^ househowd? Why >_> is :3 Wumouw hewe? 
UwU I >w< wun >w< befowe ^w^ King Harry's ;;w;; victowy, 
UwU Who, uWu in :3 a bwoody field ^.^ by UwU Shwewsbuwy, 
>_< Hath beaten down xDD young >_> Hotspuw ÚwÚ and :33 his ^.^ twoops, 
Quenching x3 the fwame of bold ;;w;; webewwion 
Even with x3 the ^.^ webews' blood. OwO But >_> what >_> mean UwU I 
;;w;; To speak UwU so true uWu at uWu fiwst? OwO My ^.^ office >_> is 
;;w;; To noise ^.^ abwoad :3 that ÚwÚ Hawwy ^-^ Monmouth UwU feww 
;;w;; Undew x3 the >_> wwath of x3 nyobwe Hotspur's uWu swowd, 
xDD And :3 that x3 the ^w^ King >w< befowe x3 the Dougwas' xDD wage 
Stoop'd :33 his ^-^ anyointed >_> head >_< as wow >_< as death. 
This uWu have UwU I rumour'd ^w^ thwough x3 the peasant UwU towns 
Between :3 that royal field of xDD Shwewsbuwy 
xDD And ÚwÚ this worm-eaten howd of ^-^ wagged OwO stonye, 
Whewe Hotspur's ÚwÚ fathew, ;;w;; owd >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
Lies ^-^ cwafty-sick. uWu The :3 posts come OwO tiwing ;;w;; on, 
xDD And nyot :3 a x3 man of them >_< bwings othew nyews 
Than ;;w;; they uWu have ^w^ weawnt of x3 me. Fwom Wumouw's tongues 
^-^ They ;;w;; bwing x3 smooth UwU comfowts :3 fawse, xDD wowse than true x3 wwongs. 
uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^.^ Wawkwowth. ^.^ Befowe >_> NyOWTHUMBEWWAND'S ;;w;; Castwe 

Entew >w< WOWD ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. Who keeps x3 the uWu gate UwU hewe, ho? 

uWu The ^.^ POWTEW :33 opens x3 the uWu gate 

Whewe >_> is x3 the Eaww? 
PORTER. >_> What UwU shaww UwU I >_> say xDD you are? 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. Teww xDD thou x3 the ^-^ Eaww 
:33 That x3 the Lord Bardolph xDD doth >_< attend ^.^ him hewe. 
PORTER. ÚwÚ His OwO wowdship >_> is wawk'd fowth x3 into x3 the ^-^ owchawd. 
ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw honour :3 knyock >_> but uWu at x3 the >_< gate, 
xDD And ^.^ he >_< himsewf xDD wiww answer. 

Entew NyOWTHUMBEWWAND 

>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the Eaww. uWu Exit ^.^ POWTEW 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. >_> What news, Lord Bawdowph? Evewy minyute nyow 
Should be x3 the >w< fathew of x3 some >_> stwatagem. 
uWu The times OwO awe wiwd; ^.^ contention, ^.^ wike :3 a UwU howse 
Full of xDD high ;;w;; feeding, madly hath broke ;;w;; woose 
xDD And bears down aww >w< befowe ^.^ him. 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. Noble Eaww, 
UwU I ;;w;; bwing xDD you xDD cewtain nyews from uWu Shwewsbuwy. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. OwO Good, >w< an ^w^ God will! 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. ;;w;; As ÚwÚ good >_< as >_< heawt ^.^ can ^w^ wish. 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> is almost wounded to x3 the ÚwÚ death; 
^.^ And, uWu in x3 the :3 fowtunye of x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 youw x3 son, 
Prince ÚwÚ Hawwy :3 swain ;;w;; outwight; ÚwÚ and both x3 the ÚwÚ Bwunts 
OwO Kiww'd ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand of Douglas; xDD young Prince John, 
xDD And uWu Westmowewand, ÚwÚ and Stafford, ^w^ fwed x3 the :3 fiewd; 
xDD And ÚwÚ Hawwy Monmouth's >_> bwawn, x3 the uWu huwk Sir John, 
Is ÚwÚ pwisonyew to x3 youw OwO son. >_< O, xDD such :3 a ^-^ day, 
^w^ So :33 fought, UwU so ^.^ fowwowed, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ faiwwy >_> won, 
>_< Came nyot >w< tiww nyow to >_< dignyify x3 the xDD times, 
Since Cxsaw's fowtunyes! 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. How >_> is ÚwÚ this x3 dewiv'd? 
^.^ Saw xDD you x3 the field? >_< Came xDD you from Shwewsbuwy? 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. UwU I x3 spake with one, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that ^-^ came from >w< thence; 
^-^ A ÚwÚ gentweman weww bwed ÚwÚ and of ÚwÚ good :33 nyame, 
:33 That freely ^.^ wend'wed ;;w;; me these nyews fow true. 

Entew >w< TWAVEWS 

:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my xDD sewvant xDD Twavews, ÚwÚ whom UwU I sent 
On Tuesday >w< wast to xDD wisten ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; nyews. 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I uvw-wode ^.^ him on x3 the way; 
xDD And ^.^ he >_> is OwO fuwnyish'd with nyo >_> cewtainties 
uWu Mowe than ^.^ he haply OwO may x3 wetaiw from x3 me. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. >_> Nyow, xDD Twavews, >_> what ÚwÚ good UwU tidings x3 comes with you? 
uWu TWAVEWS. OwO My uWu wowd, Sir John >_> Umfweviwe >_> tuwn'd ;;w;; me back 
With >w< joyfuw ;;w;; tidings; x3 and, ^.^ being xDD bettew uWu hows'd, 
:33 Out-wode x3 me. >w< Aftew ^.^ him ^-^ came ^.^ spuwwing x3 hawd 
^-^ A gentweman, almost forspent with speed, 
:33 That ;;w;; stopp'd ^.^ by ;;w;; me to ;;w;; bweathe :33 his bwoodied horse. 
>w< He >w< ask'd x3 the uWu way to ^.^ Chestew; ÚwÚ and of ^.^ him 
UwU I uWu did ;;w;; demand >_> what nyews from uWu Shwewsbuwy. 
>w< He told ;;w;; me :3 that ;;w;; webewwion xDD had :33 bad wuck, 
xDD And :3 that xDD young ÚwÚ Hawwy ÚwÚ Pewcy's ^w^ spuw UwU was cowd. 
With :3 that ^.^ he uWu gave :33 his able UwU howse x3 the >_> head 
^.^ And, x3 bending forward, >w< stwuck :33 his :3 awmed heels 
^w^ Against x3 the ;;w;; panting >w< sides of :33 his poor uWu jade 
Up to x3 the xDD wowew-head; ÚwÚ and :33 stawting >_> so, 
>w< He ^w^ seem'd uWu in wunnying to devour x3 the :3 way, 
>_< Staying nyo longer x3 question. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. uWu Ha! ÚwÚ Again: 
:33 Said ^.^ he xDD young ÚwÚ Hawwy ÚwÚ Pewcy's ^w^ spuw UwU was cowd? 
Of x3 Hotspuw, >_< Cowdspuw? :3 that ;;w;; webewwion 
xDD Had >w< met :33 iww wuck? 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. OwO My uWu wowd, I'll tell xDD you :3 what: 
;;w;; If x3 my xDD young ;;w;; wowd x3 youw >_< son uWu have nyot x3 the ^-^ day, 
>_> Upon >_< minye honyouw, fow :3 a siwken :33 point 
I'll UwU give x3 my bawony. xDD Nyevew tawk of :3 it. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Why >_> shouwd :3 that ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that rode ^.^ by :33 Twavews 
Give xDD then xDD such instances of loss? 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. OwO Who- uWu he? 
>w< He UwU was x3 some hilding fewwow :3 that xDD had :3 stow'n 
uWu The UwU howse ^.^ he rode on x3 and, ;;w;; upon x3 my :3 wife, 
OwO Spoke uWu at :3 a ventuwe. x3 Wook, OwO hewe x3 comes ^.^ mowe ;;w;; nyews. 

Entew Morton 

:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Yea, ÚwÚ this :33 man's >_> bwow, ^.^ wike to :3 a x3 titwe-weaf, 
x3 Fowetewws x3 the ÚwÚ nyatuwe of :3 a tragic UwU vowume. 
^w^ So :33 wooks x3 the uWu stwand wheweon x3 the >_> impewious flood 
>_< Hath left :3 a xDD witnyess'd usuwpation. 
Say, ^w^ Mowton, :33 didst xDD thou come from Shwewsbuwy? 
MORTON. UwU I wan from UwU Shwewsbuwy, x3 my x3 nyobwe wowd; 
Whewe hateful :33 death put on :33 his ugliest OwO mask 
;;w;; To :33 fwight UwU ouw pawty. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. How xDD doth x3 my >_< son ÚwÚ and bwothew? 
^.^ Thou twembwest; ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< whitenyess uWu in >w< thy >_< cheek 
Is ÚwÚ aptew than >w< thy >_> tongue to tell >w< thy ^-^ ewwand. 
Even xDD such :3 a ^w^ man, UwU so :33 faint, UwU so >w< spiwitwess, 
^w^ So xDD duww, UwU so xDD dwead uWu in look, UwU so :33 woe-begonye, 
^.^ Dwew ^w^ Pwiam's ^-^ cuwtain uWu in x3 the >_< dead of >w< nyight 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd uWu have told ^.^ him half :33 his Twoy UwU was >w< buwnt; 
OwO But ^.^ Pwiam >_> found x3 the fire ere ^.^ he :33 his ;;w;; tongue, 
xDD And UwU I x3 my ÚwÚ Pewcy's :33 death ere xDD thou report'st :3 it. 
This xDD thou wouldst OwO say: uWu 'Youw >_< son uWu did OwO thus ÚwÚ and ^.^ thus; 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ thus; UwU so ÚwÚ fought x3 the x3 nyobwe ^-^ Dougwas'- 
uWu Stopping x3 my gweedy ear with uWu theiw bold ^-^ deeds; 
OwO But uWu in x3 the ^w^ end, to ÚwÚ stop x3 my ear :33 indeed, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 a x3 sigh to ^w^ bwow OwO away ÚwÚ this >_< pwaise, 
:3 Ending with 'Brother, x3 son, ÚwÚ and all, OwO awe >w< dead.' 
MORTON. Dougwas >_> is >w< wiving, ÚwÚ and x3 youw brother, :33 yet; 
OwO But fow x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 youw >_< son- 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Why, ^.^ he >_> is uWu dead. 
xDD See >_> what :3 a ready >_> tongue >_> suspicion x3 hath! 
>w< He :3 that >_> but OwO feaws x3 the ^.^ thing ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot ^.^ knyow 
>_< Hath ^.^ by >w< instinct >_< knyowwedge from OwO othews' eyes 
:33 That >_> what ^.^ he feaw'd >_> is chanced. ÚwÚ Yet :3 speak, >_> Mowton; 
Teww xDD thou >w< an earl :33 his >_> divinyation lies, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww OwO take >w< it >_< as :3 a x3 sweet xDD disgwace 
xDD And >_< make uWu thee rich fow xDD doing ;;w;; me xDD such wrong. 
MORTON. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too great to be ^.^ by ;;w;; me ÚwÚ gainsaid; 
uWu Youw ^w^ spiwit >_> is ^w^ too ^-^ twue, x3 youw OwO feaws ^w^ too cewtain. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Yet, fow aww uWu this, >_> say nyot :3 that ÚwÚ Pewcy's uWu dead. 
UwU I >_> see :3 a ;;w;; stwange >_> confession uWu in ^.^ thinye >_< eye; 
^.^ Thou ^w^ shak'st >w< thy head, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; howd'st >w< it feaw ow x3 sin 
;;w;; To speak :3 a truth. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be x3 swain, >_> say so: 
uWu The >_> tongue offends nyot :3 that ÚwÚ wepowts :33 his ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And ^.^ he xDD doth x3 sin :3 that xDD doth belie x3 the >_< dead, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ he which ;;w;; says x3 the >_< dead >_> is nyot alive. 
ÚwÚ Yet x3 the xDD fiwst ^.^ bwingew of UwU unwewcome nyews 
>_< Hath >_> but :3 a losing office, ÚwÚ and :33 his >_> tongue 
Sounds OwO evew ÚwÚ aftew >_< as :3 a UwU suwwen OwO beww, 
UwU Wememb'wed :33 towwing :3 a depawting :3 fwiend. 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_< think, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 youw >_< son >_> is uWu dead. 
MORTON. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy UwU I >_> shouwd force xDD you to ^-^ bewieve 
:33 That which UwU I ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God UwU I xDD had nyot uWu seen; 
OwO But these >_< minye eyes saw ^.^ him uWu in bwoody state, 
Wend'wing ÚwÚ faint ;;w;; quittance, weawied ÚwÚ and out-bweath'd, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ Hawwy ^.^ Monmouth, x3 whose UwU swift >_> wwath xDD beat down 
uWu The never-daunted ^-^ Pewcy to x3 the earth, 
Fwom >_> whence with >w< wife ^.^ he >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe sprung :33 up. 
^w^ In ÚwÚ few, :33 his >w< death- x3 whose ^w^ spiwit OwO went :3 a fire 
Even to x3 the duwwest peasant uWu in :33 his OwO camp- 
uWu Being bruited ^w^ once, >_> took fire ÚwÚ and ^.^ heat OwO away 
Fwom x3 the best-temper'd couwage uWu in :33 his troops; 
For from :33 his >_< metaw UwU was :33 his party steewed; 
>_< Which >_> once uWu in ^.^ him abated, >w< an x3 the xDD west 
:3 Tuwn'd on ^.^ themsewves, ^.^ wike dull ÚwÚ and x3 heavy wead. 
xDD And >_< as x3 the ^.^ thing ^w^ that's x3 heavy uWu in itsewf 
>_> Upon UwU enfowcement fwies with ÚwÚ gweatest speed, 
^w^ So uWu did UwU ouw men, x3 heavy uWu in Hotspur's woss, 
uWu Wend to ÚwÚ this >_> weight xDD such ^.^ wightnyess with uWu theiw feaw 
:33 That x3 awwows ^w^ fwed nyot ^w^ swiftew toward uWu theiw aim 
Than uWu did UwU ouw xDD sowdiews, uWu aiming uWu at uWu theiw safety, 
xDD Fwy from x3 the >_> fiewd. UwU Then UwU was :3 that x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ Wowcestew 
Too >w< soon >_> ta'en prisoner; ÚwÚ and :3 that ÚwÚ fuwious >_< Scot, 
uWu The bwoody Dougwas, x3 whose x3 weww-wabouwing xDD swowd 
xDD Had >w< thwee times :3 swain x3 th' xDD appeawance of x3 the OwO King, 
UwU Gan vaiw :33 his stomach ÚwÚ and uWu did xDD gwace x3 the ^-^ shame 
Of UwU those :3 that >_> tuwn'd uWu theiw backs, ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his x3 fwight, 
>w< Stumbwing uWu in ;;w;; feaw, UwU was UwU took. uWu The >w< sum of aww 
Is :3 that x3 the ^w^ King hath >_> won, ÚwÚ and hath sent x3 out 
^-^ A UwU speedy powew to x3 encountew UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the ÚwÚ conduct of xDD young :3 Wancastew 
xDD And >_> Westmowewand. This >_> is x3 the nyews uWu at ^w^ fuww. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. For ÚwÚ this UwU I UwU shaww uWu have time enough to mourn. 
^w^ In x3 poison there >_> is OwO physic; ÚwÚ and these news, 
>_> Having :33 been weww, :3 that ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU made ;;w;; me :33 sick, 
uWu Being :33 sick, uWu have uWu in x3 some UwU measuwe UwU made ;;w;; me well; 
xDD And >_< as x3 the uWu wwetch x3 whose fever-weak'ned uWu joints, 
Wike UwU stwengthwess hinges, buckwe :33 undew :3 wife, 
Impatient of :33 his >w< fit, >_< bweaks ^.^ wike :3 a fire 
UwU Out of :33 his keepew's awms, even UwU so x3 my limbs, 
ÚwÚ Weak'nyed with gwief, ^.^ being nyow ^-^ enwag'd with gwief, 
^w^ Awe thrice x3 themsewves. Hence, OwO thewefowe, xDD thou UwU nyice ^.^ cwutch! 
^-^ A scaly :33 gauntwet nyow with xDD joints of steew 
:3 Must ;;w;; gwuv ÚwÚ this xDD hand; ÚwÚ and hence, xDD thou >_> sickwy coif! 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a xDD guawd ^w^ too >_< wanton fow x3 the >_> head 
>_< Which >_< pwinces, fwesh'd with ÚwÚ conquest, aim to ;;w;; hit. 
Now bind x3 my ^w^ bwows with iwon; ÚwÚ and appwoach 
uWu The ragged'st >_> houw :3 that time ÚwÚ and x3 spite dawe ;;w;; bwing 
;;w;; To fwown ;;w;; upon x3 th' ^-^ enwag'd OwO Nyowthumbewwand! 
Let heaven :3 kiss ÚwÚ eawth! Now wet nyot Nyatuwe's uWu hand 
^w^ Keep x3 the >w< wiwd flood >_> confin'd! Let order ^-^ die! 
xDD And wet ÚwÚ this wowwd nyo longer be :3 a stage 
;;w;; To >w< feed ;;w;; contention uWu in :3 a x3 wing'wing ÚwÚ act; 
OwO But wet one ^w^ spiwit of x3 the uWu fiwst-bown UwU Cain 
^.^ Weign uWu in aww UwU bosoms, :3 that, >_< each >_< heawt ^.^ being uWu set 
On bwoody couwses, x3 the wude scene OwO may >w< end 
xDD And >w< dawknyess be x3 the burier of x3 the ÚwÚ dead! 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. This ^w^ stwainyed passion xDD doth xDD you wwong, x3 my OwO wowd. 
MORTON. ÚwÚ Sweet Eaww, :3 divowce nyot ^.^ wisdom from x3 youw honyouw. 
uWu The ;;w;; wives of aww x3 youw >w< woving complices 
x3 Wean on x3 youw health; x3 the ^w^ which, >_> if xDD you UwU give ^-^ o'ew 
;;w;; To ;;w;; stowmy ^-^ passion, ^w^ must ^.^ pewfowce UwU decay. 
>_> You ;;w;; cast x3 th' event of waw, x3 my x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
xDD And summ'd x3 the :33 account of chance >w< befowe xDD you uWu said 
^w^ 'Wet >_> us >_< make ^-^ head.' ^.^ It UwU was x3 youw >w< pwe-suwmise 
:33 That uWu in x3 the xDD dowe of ^w^ bwows x3 youw >_< son ^w^ might :3 dwop. 
>_> You UwU knyew ^.^ he wawk'd ^-^ o'ew perils on >w< an >_> edge, 
uWu Mowe ÚwÚ wikewy to faww uWu in than to get o'ew; 
>_> You :3 wewe :33 advis'd :33 his >w< fwesh UwU was capabwe 
Of wounds ÚwÚ and ^-^ scaws, ÚwÚ and :3 that :33 his forward ^w^ spiwit 
Wouwd lift ^.^ him :3 whewe UwU most OwO twade of danger rang'd; 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu did xDD you >_> say x3 'Go xDD fowth'; ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye of uWu this, 
;;w;; Though >_< stwongwy apprehended, couwd uWu westwain 
uWu The ^w^ stiff-bownye OwO action. >_> What hath xDD then >_> befaww'n, 
:33 Ow >_> what hath ÚwÚ this bold uWu entewpwise ^.^ bwought fowth 
uWu Mowe than :3 that ^.^ being which UwU was ^.^ wike to :3 be? 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. We aww :3 that OwO awe engaged to ÚwÚ this ^-^ woss 
^-^ Knyew :3 that ^.^ we UwU ventuwed on xDD such uWu dangewous seas 
:33 That >_> if ^.^ we ;;w;; wwought x3 out >w< wife uWu 'twas ;;w;; ten to onye; 
xDD And yet ^.^ we OwO ventuw'd, fow x3 the ^.^ gain :33 pwopos'd 
OwO Chok'd x3 the wespect of ÚwÚ wikewy peril feaw'd; 
xDD And xDD since ^.^ we OwO awe ^-^ o'ewset, venture ;;w;; again. 
^.^ Come, ^.^ we xDD wiww put ^-^ fowth, >w< body ÚwÚ and :33 goods. 
MORTON. 'Tis ^.^ mowe than uWu time. ^.^ And, x3 my UwU most x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
UwU I hear fow cewtain, ÚwÚ and dawe speak x3 the twuth: 
uWu The ^-^ gentwe UwU Awchbishop of York >_> is x3 up 
With ^.^ weww-appointed :33 pow'ws. >w< He >_> is :3 a x3 man 
Who with :3 a :3 doubwe surety uWu binds :33 his fowwowews. 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd x3 youw >_< son xDD had >w< onwy >_> but x3 the :33 cowpse, 
OwO But ^-^ shadows ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< shows of men, to fight; 
For :3 that same ;;w;; wowd 'rebellion' uWu did OwO divide 
uWu The uWu action of uWu theiw >_< bodies from uWu theiw :3 souws; 
xDD And ;;w;; they uWu did >w< fight with queasiness, x3 constwain'd, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; men ÚwÚ dwink x3 potions; :3 that uWu theiw >_< weapons >w< onwy 
UwU Seem'd on UwU ouw side, >_> but fow uWu theiw ;;w;; spiwits ÚwÚ and >w< souws 
This ;;w;; wowd 'webewwion'- >w< it xDD had >w< fwoze them up, 
;;w;; As :33 fish OwO awe uWu in :3 a :33 pond. OwO But nyow x3 the >_> Bishop 
Tuwns insuwwection to ^-^ wewigion. 
OwO Suppos'd sincere ÚwÚ and >w< howy uWu in :33 his thoughts, 
He's follow'd both with >w< body ÚwÚ and with xDD mind; 
xDD And xDD doth >_< enwawge :33 his ;;w;; wising with x3 the :3 bwood 
Of >w< faiw ^w^ King ^.^ Wichawd, >_< scwap'd from uWu Pomfwet ;;w;; stonyes; 
Derives from heaven :33 his ^-^ quawwew ÚwÚ and :33 his cause; 
>_< Tewws them ^.^ he xDD doth :3 bestwide :3 a xDD bweeding land, 
OwO Gasping fow >w< wife :33 undew great ^-^ Bowingbwoke; 
xDD And ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and less UwU do ^.^ fwock to ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. UwU I UwU knyew of ÚwÚ this befowe; but, to speak truth, 
This xDD pwesent grief xDD had wip'd >w< it from x3 my :33 mind. 
Go uWu in with OwO me; ÚwÚ and counsel every x3 man 
uWu The ^-^ aptest uWu way fow :33 safety ÚwÚ and revenge. 
>_< Get :3 posts ÚwÚ and letters, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^w^ fwiends with >w< speed- 
xDD Nyevew UwU so ÚwÚ few, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew yet ^.^ mowe ^w^ nyeed. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OwO Wondon. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN ^-^ FAWSTAFF, with :33 his ^.^ PAGE :33 beawing :33 his xDD swowd ÚwÚ and >_< buckwew 

>_> FAWSTAFF. Siwwah, xDD you UwU giant, >_> what ;;w;; says x3 the x3 doctow to x3 my ^-^ watew? 
xDD PAGE. >w< He said, ^w^ siw, x3 the UwU watew itsewf UwU was :3 a ÚwÚ good heawthy water; >_> but 
fow x3 the party :3 that >_> owed :33 it, ^.^ he ^w^ might uWu have ^-^ moe ^-^ diseases than ^.^ he 
UwU knyew ;;w;; fow. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO Men of aww sorts OwO take :3 a >_< pwide to giwd uWu at x3 me. uWu The :3 bwain of 
ÚwÚ this foolish-compounded ^-^ cway, ^w^ man, >_> is nyot able to invent ;;w;; anything 
:3 that ^-^ intends to waughtew, ^.^ mowe than UwU I invent ow >_> is ^.^ invented on 
x3 me. UwU I ^w^ am nyot >w< onwy ^.^ witty uWu in myself, >_> but x3 the cause :3 that wit >_> is uWu in 
othew ^.^ men. UwU I UwU do OwO hewe UwU wawk >w< befowe uWu thee ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; sow :3 that hath 
overwhelm'd aww her ^.^ wittew >_> but onye. ;;w;; If x3 the Prince put uWu thee x3 into 
x3 my OwO sewvice fow xDD any othew reason than to uWu set ;;w;; me ^w^ off, >w< why xDD then UwU I 
uWu have nyo ;;w;; judgment. ^.^ Thou UwU whoweson mandrake, xDD thou awt fitter to be 
wown uWu in x3 my cap than to wait uWu at x3 my xDD heews. UwU I UwU was >_< nyevew xDD mann'd with 
>w< an OwO agate >w< tiww >_< nyow; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww >w< inset xDD you :3 nyeithew uWu in gowd nor 
^.^ siwvew, >_> but uWu in ^-^ viwe ^w^ appawew, ÚwÚ and >_> send xDD you back again to x3 youw 
^.^ mastew, fow :3 a jewel- x3 the juvenal, x3 the Prince x3 youw ^.^ mastew, x3 whose 
^w^ chin >_> is nyot yet ^-^ fwedge. UwU I xDD wiww :33 soonyew uWu have :3 a ^w^ beawd gwow uWu in x3 the 
^.^ pawm of x3 my uWu hand than ^.^ he UwU shaww get one x3 off :33 his OwO cheek; ÚwÚ and yet ^.^ he 
xDD wiww nyot OwO stick to >_> say :33 his OwO face >_> is :3 a face-woyaw. ^w^ God OwO may finish >w< it 
when ^.^ he :33 wiww, UwU 'tis nyot :3 a >_< haiw uWu amiss >_> yet. >w< He OwO may >_< keep >w< it still uWu at 
:3 a face-woyaw, fow :3 a :33 bawbew UwU shaww >_< nyevew eawn x3 sixpence x3 out of uWu it; 
ÚwÚ and yet he'ww be ^w^ cwowing >_< as >_> if ^.^ he xDD had ^-^ wwit x3 man OwO evew xDD since :33 his 
>w< fathew UwU was :3 a x3 bachewow. >w< He OwO may >_< keep :33 his UwU own gwace, >_> but uWu he's almost 
x3 out of >_> minye, UwU I ^.^ can :33 assuwe ^.^ him. >_> What uWu said >_< Mastew x3 Dommewton about 
x3 the uWu satin fow x3 my showt uWu cwoak ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< swops? 
xDD PAGE. >w< He said, ^w^ siw, xDD you >_> shouwd ;;w;; pwocuwe ^.^ him xDD bettew assurance than 
^.^ Bawdowph. >w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO take :33 his band ÚwÚ and OwO youws; ^.^ he xDD wiked nyot x3 the 
xDD secuwity. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Let ^.^ him be ÚwÚ damn'd, ^.^ wike x3 the Gwutton; pray ^w^ God :33 his >_> tongue 
be hotter! ^-^ A UwU whoweson Achitophel! ^-^ A ^.^ wascaw-yea-fowsooth ^-^ knyave, to 
UwU beaw :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman uWu in uWu hand, ÚwÚ and xDD then stand ;;w;; upon OwO secuwity! uWu The 
UwU whoweson ^w^ smooth-pates UwU do nyow ^-^ weaw >_< nyothing >_> but xDD high shoes, ÚwÚ and 
bunches of ;;w;; keys uWu at uWu theiw girdles; ÚwÚ and >_> if :3 a x3 man >_> is ^w^ thwough with 
them uWu in xDD honyest ^-^ taking-up, xDD then ;;w;; they ^w^ must stand ;;w;; upon xDD secuwity. UwU I 
xDD had >_< as UwU wief ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd put ^.^ watsbanye uWu in x3 my xDD mouth >_< as offer to ÚwÚ stop 
>w< it with xDD secuwity. UwU I >_> wook'd xDD 'a >_> shouwd uWu have sent ;;w;; me >w< two ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty 
^.^ yawds of UwU satin, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a true UwU knyight, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he OwO sends ;;w;; me xDD secuwity. 
xDD Weww, ^.^ he OwO may :33 sweep uWu in x3 secuwity; fow ^.^ he hath x3 the >_> hown of 
:33 abundance, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ wightnyess of :33 his >w< wife uWu shinyes ^w^ thwough uWu it; ÚwÚ and 
yet ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ he see, ^w^ though ^.^ he uWu have :33 his UwU own xDD wanthown to >w< wight ^.^ him. 
:3 Whewe's Bawdowph? 
xDD PAGE. He's >_> gonye x3 into Smithfiewd to UwU buy x3 youw :33 wowship horse. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I xDD bought ^.^ him uWu in Pauw's, ÚwÚ and he'ww UwU buy ;;w;; me :3 a UwU howse uWu in 
^w^ Smithfiewd. ^-^ An UwU I couwd get ;;w;; me >_> but :3 a >w< wife uWu in x3 the stews, UwU I :3 wewe 
x3 mann'd, uWu hows'd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wiv'd. 

Entew x3 the >w< WOWD ;;w;; CHIEF ^w^ JUSTICE ÚwÚ and SEWVANT 

xDD PAGE. UwU Siw, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the nyobweman :3 that >_> committed x3 the 
Prince fow ^.^ stwiking ^.^ him about ^.^ Bawdowph. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu Wait close; UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> see ^.^ him. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. x3 What's ^.^ he :3 that xDD goes OwO thewe? 
SEWVANT. :33 Fawstaff, UwU an't uWu pwease x3 youw wowdship. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >w< He :3 that UwU was uWu in ;;w;; question fow x3 the OwO wobb'wy? 
SEWVANT. ^-^ He, x3 my wowd; >_> but ^.^ he hath xDD since donye ÚwÚ good OwO sewvice uWu at 
UwU Shwewsbuwy, x3 and, >_< as UwU I heaw, >_> is nyow x3 going with x3 some :3 chawge to x3 the 
Lord John of Lancaster. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. What, to York? ;;w;; Caww ^.^ him back ;;w;; again. 
SEWVANT. Sir John >w< Fawstaff! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 Boy, tell ^.^ him UwU I ^w^ am >_> deaf. 
xDD PAGE. >_> You ^w^ must speak woudew; x3 my >_< mastew >_> is >_> deaf. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe ^.^ he ;;w;; is, to x3 the hearing of ;;w;; anything UwU good. 
^w^ Go, pluck ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 the UwU ewbow; UwU I ^w^ must speak with ^.^ him. 
SEWVANT. Sir John! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. What! :3 a xDD young ^-^ knyave, ÚwÚ and begging! Is there nyot waws? Is 
there nyot ^-^ empwoyment? ^-^ Doth nyot x3 the ^w^ King ^.^ wack ^w^ subjects? Do nyot x3 the 
ÚwÚ webews >_< nyeed >w< sowdiews? ;;w;; Though >w< it be :3 a ^-^ shame to be on xDD any x3 side >_> but 
one, >w< it >_> is xDD wowse ^-^ shame to ÚwÚ beg than to be on x3 the worst side, :3 wewe 
>w< it xDD wowse than x3 the xDD nyame of ;;w;; webewwion ^.^ can tell >w< how to >_< make :3 it. 
SEWVANT. >_> You ÚwÚ mistake uWu me, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Why, ^w^ siw, uWu did UwU I >_> say xDD you :3 wewe >w< an xDD honyest man? Setting x3 my 
knyighthood ÚwÚ and x3 my sowdiewship ÚwÚ aside, UwU I xDD had lied uWu in x3 my ^w^ thwoat >_> if UwU I 
xDD had uWu said :3 so. 
SEWVANT. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, xDD then uWu set x3 youw knyighthood ÚwÚ and x3 youw 
sowdiewship >w< aside; ÚwÚ and UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to tell xDD you xDD you uWu in x3 youw 
throat, >_> if xDD you >_> say UwU I ^w^ am xDD any othew than >w< an xDD honyest man. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I UwU give uWu thee OwO weave to tell ;;w;; me so! UwU I uWu way :3 aside :3 that which 
gwows to me! ;;w;; If xDD thou :3 get'st xDD any OwO weave of uWu me, ^w^ hang OwO me; >_> if xDD thou 
:33 tak'st weave, xDD thou OwO wewt xDD bettew be xDD hang'd. >_> You OwO hunt ^-^ countew. 
:33 Hence! OwO Avaunt! 
SEWVANT. UwU Siw, x3 my ;;w;; wowd ^.^ wouwd speak with OwO you. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. Sir John :33 Fawstaff, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My ÚwÚ good ^.^ wowd! ^w^ God UwU give x3 youw OwO wowdship ÚwÚ good time of x3 day. UwU I 
^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see x3 youw OwO wowdship abroad. UwU I heard >_> say x3 youw OwO wowdship 
UwU was xDD sick; UwU I UwU hope x3 youw OwO wowdship xDD goes ^.^ abwoad ^.^ by xDD advice. uWu Youw 
lordship, ^w^ though nyot x3 cwean x3 past x3 youw youth, hath yet x3 some ;;w;; smack 
of age uWu in UwU you, x3 some wewish of x3 the saltness of time; ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU most 
x3 humbwy :33 beseech x3 youw OwO wowdship to uWu have :3 a reverend :3 cawe of x3 youw 
^-^ heawth. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. Sir John, UwU I sent fow xDD you >w< befowe x3 youw ÚwÚ expedition to 
uWu Shwewsbuwy. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; An't uWu pwease x3 youw lordship, UwU I hear :33 his ;;w;; Majesty >_> is wetuwn'd 
with x3 some ^.^ discomfowt from Wales. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I tawk nyot of :33 his >_< Majesty. >_> You ^.^ wouwd nyot come when UwU I 
sent fow OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD And UwU I heaw, ^w^ moweuvw, :33 his >_> Highnyess >_> is fall'n x3 into ÚwÚ this 
same UwU whoweson >_> apopwexy. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. Weww ^w^ God mend x3 him! UwU I pray xDD you wet ;;w;; me speak with OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. This apopwexy, >_< as UwU I OwO take :33 it, >_> is :3 a uWu kind of wethawgy, UwU an't 
uWu pwease x3 youw lordship, :3 a uWu kind of x3 sweeping uWu in x3 the bwood, :3 a UwU whoweson 
tingwing. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> What tell xDD you ;;w;; me of :33 it? ^w^ Be >w< it >_< as >w< it >w< is. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ It hath >w< it >_< owiginyaw from much gwief, from ^-^ study, ÚwÚ and 
perturbation of x3 the :33 bwain. UwU I uWu have ^w^ wead x3 the cause of :33 his UwU effects 
uWu in Galen; >w< it >_> is :3 a uWu kind of deafness. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I think xDD you OwO awe fall'n x3 into x3 the ;;w;; disease, fow xDD you 
hear nyot >_> what UwU I >_> say to OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Very weww, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD vewy well. Rather UwU an't uWu pwease UwU you, >w< it 
>_> is x3 the ÚwÚ disease of nyot listening, x3 the ^w^ mawady of nyot >_< mawking, :3 that 
UwU I ^w^ am troubled uWu withaw. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. ;;w;; To punyish xDD you ^.^ by x3 the heels ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; amend x3 the >w< attention 
of x3 youw ears; ÚwÚ and UwU I :3 cawe nyot >_> if UwU I UwU do :33 become x3 youw physician. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^w^ am >_< as poor >_< as xDD Job, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but nyot UwU so uWu patient. uWu Youw 
OwO wowdship OwO may xDD minyistew x3 the potion of imprisonment to ;;w;; me uWu in wespect 
of >w< puvwty; >_> but >w< how UwU I >_> shouwd be x3 youw patient to ;;w;; fowwow x3 youw 
OwO pwescwiptions, x3 the uWu wise OwO may >_< make x3 some UwU dwam of :3 a :3 scwupwe, ow 
ÚwÚ indeed :3 a :33 scwupwe itself. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I sent fow UwU you, when there :3 wewe uWu mattews OwO against xDD you 
fow x3 youw :3 wife, to come speak with x3 me. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; As UwU I UwU was xDD then :33 advis'd ^.^ by x3 my :33 weawnyed counsel uWu in x3 the UwU waws 
of ÚwÚ this >_< wand-sewvice, UwU I uWu did nyot x3 come. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. xDD Weww, x3 the uWu twuth ;;w;; is, Sir John, xDD you ^w^ wive uWu in great 
xDD infamy. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >w< He :3 that >_< buckwes >_< himsewf uWu in x3 my >w< bewt ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ wive uWu in :3 wess. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. uWu Youw means OwO awe xDD vewy >_> swendew, ÚwÚ and x3 youw uWu waste >_> is 
^.^ gweat. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it :3 wewe othewwise; UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my means :3 wewe :33 gweatew 
ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 waist x3 swendewew. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> You uWu have ;;w;; miswed x3 the youthfuw UwU Pwince. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu The xDD young Prince hath ;;w;; miswed x3 me. UwU I ^w^ am x3 the fewwow with x3 the 
great bewwy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he x3 my :33 dog. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ am loath to ^.^ gaww :3 a nyew-heaw'd wound. uWu Youw 
day's OwO sewvice uWu at xDD Shwewsbuwy hath :3 a xDD wittwe :3 giwded uvw x3 youw 
night's ^.^ expwoit on :33 Gadshiww. >_> You OwO may >_> thank x3 th' unquiet time fow 
x3 youw :33 quiet o'erposting :3 that OwO action. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My wowd- 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. OwO But xDD since aww >_> is weww, >_< keep >w< it so: wake nyot :3 a 
x3 sweeping :33 wowf. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; To wake :3 a OwO wowf >_> is >_< as :33 bad >_< as smell :3 a xDD fox. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. What! xDD you OwO awe >_< as :3 a ÚwÚ candwe, x3 the xDD bettew ÚwÚ pawt burnt 
OwO out. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ A OwO wassaiw ÚwÚ candwe, x3 my wowd- aww tallow; >_> if UwU I uWu did >_> say of 
:3 wax, x3 my gwowth ^.^ wouwd approve x3 the truth. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> Thewe >_> is nyot :3 a ^-^ white >_< haiw uWu in x3 youw OwO face >_> but >_> shouwd 
uWu have :33 his ^w^ effect of >w< gwavity. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ÚwÚ His ^w^ effect of x3 gwavy, x3 gwavy, 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> You ;;w;; fowwow x3 the xDD young Prince x3 up ÚwÚ and ;;w;; down, ^.^ wike :33 his 
:33 iww OwO angew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, x3 my OwO wowd. uWu Youw :33 iww ÚwÚ angew >_> is >_> wight; >_> but UwU hope ^.^ he 
:3 that :33 wooks ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me xDD wiww OwO take ;;w;; me ^-^ without uWu weighing. xDD And yet uWu in x3 some 
x3 wespects, UwU I grant, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; go- UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell. x3 Viwtue >_> is of UwU so 
xDD wittwe regard uWu in these costermongers' times :3 that true valour >_> is 
>_> tuwn'd >_> bewod; pregnancy >_> is UwU made :3 a tapster, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ quick wit 
wasted uWu in ^.^ giving >w< weckonyings; aww x3 the othew ^.^ gifts appertinent to 
^w^ man, >_< as x3 the malice of ÚwÚ this age >w< shapes ÚwÚ them, OwO awe nyot ^.^ wowth :3 a 
:3 goosebewwy. >_> You :3 that OwO awe ;;w;; owd OwO considew nyot x3 the >w< capacities of >_> us 
:3 that OwO awe ^-^ young; xDD you UwU do UwU measuwe x3 the ^.^ heat of UwU ouw livers with x3 the 
uWu bittewnyess of x3 youw ^.^ gawws; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we :3 that OwO awe uWu in x3 the uWu vawawd of UwU ouw 
youth, ^w^ must >_> confess, OwO awe x3 wags UwU too. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. Do xDD you uWu set down x3 youw xDD nyame uWu in x3 the x3 scwoww of youth, 
:3 that OwO awe ÚwÚ wwitten down ;;w;; owd with aww x3 the uWu chawactews of >_> age? :3 Have 
xDD you nyot :3 a moist >_< eye, :3 a xDD dwy uWu hand, :3 a >w< yewwow OwO cheek, :3 a ^-^ white UwU beawd, :3 a 
decweasing ^-^ weg, >w< an increasing >w< bewwy? Is nyot x3 youw uWu voice OwO bwoken, 
x3 youw wind ^.^ showt, x3 youw ^w^ chin double, x3 youw wit >_> singwe, ÚwÚ and every 
ÚwÚ pawt about xDD you blasted with antiquity? xDD And xDD wiww xDD you yet caww 
>_> youwsewf >_< young? OwO Fie, >_< fie, >_< fie, Sir John! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I UwU was bown about >w< thwee of x3 the >w< cwock uWu in x3 the 
;;w;; aftewnyoon, with :3 a ^-^ white >_> head ÚwÚ and ^-^ something :3 a ;;w;; wound bewwy. For x3 my 
:3 voice- UwU I uWu have wost >w< it with hawwooing ÚwÚ and >_< singing of >_< anthems. ;;w;; To 
approve x3 my :33 youth further, UwU I xDD wiww not. uWu The uWu twuth ;;w;; is, UwU I ^w^ am >w< onwy ;;w;; owd 
uWu in ^w^ judgment ÚwÚ and ;;w;; undewstanding; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :3 that xDD wiww capew with ;;w;; me fow 
:3 a thousand ^w^ mawks, wet ^.^ him xDD wend ;;w;; me x3 the monyey, ÚwÚ and uWu have uWu at ^.^ him. For 
x3 the ^w^ box of x3 the ear :3 that x3 the Prince uWu gave :3 you- ^.^ he uWu gave >w< it ^.^ wike :3 a 
wude >_< pwince, ÚwÚ and xDD you >_> took >w< it ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ sensibwe OwO wowd. UwU I uWu have ^.^ check'd 
^.^ him fow uWu it; ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD young wion wepents- marry, nyot uWu in >_> ashes ÚwÚ and 
UwU sackcwoth, >_> but uWu in x3 nyew OwO siwk ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd :33 sack. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. xDD Weww, ^w^ God >_> send x3 the Prince :3 a xDD bettew companyion! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^w^ God >_> send x3 the >_< companyion :3 a xDD bettew >w< pwince! UwU I ;;w;; cannyot x3 wid x3 my 
^.^ hands of ^.^ him. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. xDD Weww, x3 the ^w^ King hath sever'd OwO you. UwU I hear xDD you OwO awe 
x3 going with Lord John of :3 Wancastew OwO against x3 the UwU Awchbishop ÚwÚ and x3 the 
^-^ Eaww of >_< Nyowthumbewwand. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> Yea; UwU I >_> thank x3 youw OwO pwetty x3 sweet wit fow :3 it. OwO But wook xDD you 
pray, aww xDD you :3 that :3 kiss x3 my xDD Wady :3 Peace uWu at ^.^ home, :3 that UwU ouw awmies 
^w^ join nyot uWu in :3 a :3 hot uWu day; for, ^.^ by x3 the Wowd, UwU I OwO take >_> but >w< two shiwts 
x3 out with uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> mean nyot to UwU sweat ÚwÚ extwaowdinyawiwy. ;;w;; If >w< it be :3 a 
:3 hot ^-^ day, ÚwÚ and UwU I bwandish ;;w;; anything >_> but :3 a >_> bottwe, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^w^ might 
>_< nyevew spit ^-^ white ;;w;; again. >_> Thewe >_> is nyot :3 a uWu dangewous uWu action ^.^ can xDD peep 
x3 out :33 his >_> head >_> but UwU I ^w^ am thwust ;;w;; upon :3 it. xDD Weww, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >w< wast evew; 
>_> but >w< it UwU was awway yet x3 the twick of UwU ouw :3 Engwish ^-^ nyation, >_> if ;;w;; they 
uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ thing, to >_< make >w< it ^w^ too :33 common. ;;w;; If OwO ye xDD wiww >_< nyeeds >_> say UwU I 
^w^ am >w< an ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, xDD you >_> shouwd UwU give ;;w;; me rest. UwU I ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God x3 my xDD nyame 
:3 wewe nyot UwU so tewwibwe to x3 the ;;w;; enyemy >_< as >w< it >w< is. UwU I :3 wewe xDD bettew to be 
eaten to :33 death with :3 a ^w^ wust than to be scouwed to >_< nyothing with 
pewpetuaw ;;w;; motion. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. xDD Weww, be OwO honyest, be xDD honyest; ÚwÚ and ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 youw 
expedition! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Will x3 youw OwO wowdship xDD wend ;;w;; me :3 a thousand ;;w;; pound to furnish ;;w;; me 
uWu fowth? 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a penny, nyot :3 a >_< penny; xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too ;;w;; impatient to 
UwU beaw ÚwÚ cwosses. >w< Fawe xDD you well. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to x3 my xDD cousin 
>_> Westmowewand. 
Exeunt ;;w;; CHIEF ^w^ JUSTICE ÚwÚ and SEWVANT 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do, fiwwip ;;w;; me with :3 a >_> thwee-man UwU beetwe. ^-^ A x3 man ^.^ can nyo 
^.^ mowe separate age ÚwÚ and >_< cuvtousnyess than xDD 'a ^.^ can ÚwÚ pawt xDD young x3 wimbs 
ÚwÚ and >_> wechewy; >_> but x3 the ;;w;; gout ÚwÚ gawws x3 the one, ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu pox pinches x3 the 
>w< othew; ÚwÚ and UwU so both x3 the >_> degwees ^w^ pwevent x3 my curses. Boy! 
xDD PAGE. Sir? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What monyey >_> is uWu in x3 my :33 puwse? 
xDD PAGE. ÚwÚ Seven :33 gwoats ÚwÚ and >w< two :3 pence. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^.^ can get nyo wemedy OwO against ÚwÚ this x3 consumption of x3 the 
purse; bowwowing >w< onwy wingews ÚwÚ and wingews >w< it ^.^ out, >_> but x3 the ÚwÚ disease 
>_> is incurable. Go UwU beaw ÚwÚ this >_> wettew to x3 my Lord of ^-^ Wancastew; ÚwÚ this 
to x3 the >_< Pwince; ÚwÚ this to x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Westmowewand; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this to ;;w;; owd 
Mistress Uwsuwa, ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu have :33 weekwy sworn to marry xDD since UwU I 
^-^ pewceiv'd x3 the xDD fiwst ^-^ white >_< haiw of x3 my chin. About uWu it; xDD you ^.^ knyow 
:3 whewe to find x3 me. ;;w;; [Exit xDD PAGE] ^-^ A uWu pox of ÚwÚ this gout! or, :3 a ;;w;; gout of 
ÚwÚ this xDD pox! fow x3 the one ow x3 the othew plays x3 the ;;w;; wogue with x3 my great 
>_> toe. 'Tis nyo ;;w;; mattew >_> if UwU I UwU do x3 hawt; UwU I uWu have x3 the UwU waws fow x3 my :33 cowouw, 
ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< pension UwU shaww xDD seem x3 the ^.^ mowe :33 weasonyabwe. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good wit xDD wiww 
>_< make use of x3 anything. UwU I xDD wiww turn ^-^ diseases to :33 commodity. 
uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
x3 Yowk. uWu The ^.^ AWCHBISHOP'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ^.^ AWCHBISHOP, THOMAS MOWBRAY x3 the EARL ^w^ MAWSHAW, >w< WOWD HASTINGS, 
ÚwÚ and >w< WOWD ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

>_< AWCHBISHOP. ^-^ Thus uWu have xDD you heard UwU ouw cause ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ knyown UwU ouw uWu means; 
^.^ And, x3 my UwU most x3 nyobwe OwO fwiends, UwU I pray xDD you aww 
^w^ Speak x3 pwainwy x3 youw OwO opinyions of UwU ouw hopes- 
xDD And ÚwÚ fiwst, Lord Marshal, >_> what >_> say xDD you to :33 it? 
MOWBRAY. UwU I weww UwU awwow x3 the ;;w;; occasion of UwU ouw >w< amis; 
OwO But gwadwy ^.^ wouwd be xDD bettew ^-^ satisfied 
How, uWu in UwU ouw >_< means, ^.^ we >_> shouwd advance ouwsewves 
;;w;; To wook with forehead bold ÚwÚ and big enough 
>_> Upon x3 the powew ÚwÚ and puissance of x3 the ;;w;; King. 
>_> HASTINGS. Our xDD pwesent musters gwow ;;w;; upon x3 the file 
;;w;; To five ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty thousand ;;w;; men of choice; 
xDD And UwU ouw supplies ^w^ wive ÚwÚ wawgewy uWu in x3 the UwU hope 
Of great >_> Nyowthumbewwand, x3 whose ^w^ bosom buwns 
With >w< an uWu incensed fire of ^-^ injuwies. 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. uWu The ;;w;; question >w< then, Lord >w< Hastings, standeth thus: 
Whethew UwU ouw xDD pwesent five ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty thousand 
^-^ May howd x3 up >_> head ^-^ without Northumberland? 
>_> HASTINGS. With :3 him, ^.^ we may. 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. Yea, marry, there's x3 the ^-^ point; 
OwO But >_> if ^-^ without ^.^ him ^.^ we be xDD thought ^w^ too feebwe, 
OwO My ^w^ judgment >_> is ^.^ we >_> shouwd nyot :33 step ^w^ too uWu faw 
Tiww ^.^ we xDD had :33 his ^.^ assistance ^.^ by x3 the xDD hand; 
For, uWu in :3 a :33 theme UwU so *hugs tightly* bwoody-fac'd >_< as uWu this, 
Conjectuwe, ;;w;; expectation, ÚwÚ and ^-^ suwmise 
Of aids incertain, >_> shouwd nyot be >w< admitted. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. 'Tis xDD vewy ^-^ twue, Lord Bardolph; fow ÚwÚ indeed 
^.^ It UwU was xDD young Hotspur's case uWu at uWu Shwewsbuwy. 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. ^.^ It UwU was, x3 my wowd; who :3 win'd >_< himsewf with hope, 
^-^ Eating x3 the ^w^ aiw ÚwÚ and promise of suppwy, 
>_> Fwatt'wing >_< himsewf uWu in UwU pwoject of :3 a powew 
Much smaller than x3 the xDD smawwest of :33 his thoughts; 
xDD And >_> so, with great xDD imaginyation 
Proper to xDD madmen, x3 wed :33 his ÚwÚ powews to UwU death, 
^.^ And, uWu winking, uWu weapt x3 into ^.^ destwuction. 
>_> HASTINGS. But, ^.^ by x3 youw weave, >w< it >_< nyevew yet uWu did ÚwÚ huwt 
;;w;; To uWu way down wikewihoods ÚwÚ and uWu fowms of ^-^ hope. 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. Yes, >_> if ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent ;;w;; quawity of ^.^ waw- 
:33 Indeed x3 the x3 instant xDD action, :3 a cause on ^-^ foot- 
Wives UwU so uWu in hope, >_< as uWu in >w< an early ^-^ spwing 
We >_> see x3 th' appearing UwU buds; which to ^-^ pwuv ^w^ fwuit 
;;w;; Hope ;;w;; gives nyot UwU so much warrant, >_< as despair 
:33 That frosts xDD wiww ^-^ bite OwO them. x3 When ^.^ we >_> mean to buiwd, 
We xDD fiwst ;;w;; suwvey x3 the >_> pwot, xDD then dwaw x3 the uWu modew; 
xDD And when ^.^ we >_> see x3 the xDD figuwe of x3 the house, 
UwU Then ^.^ we ^w^ must wate x3 the >_> cost of x3 the erection; 
>_< Which >_> if ^.^ we find >_> outweighs abiwity, 
>_> What UwU do ^.^ we xDD then >_> but dwaw xDD anyew x3 the :33 modew 
^w^ In OwO fewew ;;w;; offices, ow uWu at least desist 
;;w;; To buiwd uWu at ÚwÚ aww? Much >_> mowe, uWu in ÚwÚ this great x3 wowk- 
>_< Which >_> is almost to pluck :3 a ^w^ kingdom down 
xDD And uWu set anyothew xDD up- >_> shouwd ^.^ we ;;w;; suwvey 
uWu The :3 pwot of >_> situation ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< modew, 
UwU Consent ;;w;; upon :3 a >_< suwe foundation, 
x3 Question >_< suwveyows, ^.^ knyow UwU ouw UwU own estate 
How able xDD such :3 a ^.^ wowk to undewgo- 
;;w;; To >w< weigh OwO against :33 his ^w^ opposite; ow >_> ewse 
We fortify uWu in paper ÚwÚ and uWu in ^w^ figuwes, 
>_< Using x3 the nyames of ;;w;; men ^w^ instead of ÚwÚ men; 
Wike one :3 that ÚwÚ dwaws x3 the :33 modew of :3 a ;;w;; house 
^.^ Beyond :33 his powew to buiwd uWu it; who, half :33 thwough, 
>w< Gives ^-^ o'ew ÚwÚ and >w< weaves :33 his pawt-cweated >_> cost 
^-^ A nyaked x3 subject to x3 the weeping :33 cwouds 
xDD And uWu waste fow churlish winter's tywanny. 
>_> HASTINGS. Grant :3 that UwU ouw hopes- yet ÚwÚ wikewy of >w< faiw x3 biwth- 
Should be still-born, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ we nyow >_< possess'd 
uWu The utmost x3 man of ;;w;; expectation, 
UwU I think ^.^ we OwO awe UwU so :3 a >w< body >w< stwong UwU enyough, 
Even >_< as ^.^ we awe, to equal with x3 the ;;w;; King. 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. What, >_> is x3 the ^w^ King >_> but five ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty ;;w;; thousand? 
>_> HASTINGS. ;;w;; To >_> us nyo mowe; x3 nyay, nyot UwU so ÚwÚ much, Lord Bardolph; 
For :33 his ;;w;; divisions, >_< as x3 the times UwU do uWu bwaww, 
^w^ Awe uWu in >w< thwee x3 heads: one powew OwO against x3 the Fwench, 
xDD And one OwO against Glendower; ^.^ pewfowce :3 a thiwd 
:3 Must OwO take x3 up >_> us. ^w^ So >_> is x3 the unfiwm ^w^ King 
^w^ In >w< thwee ^.^ divided; ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< coffews >_> sound 
With OwO howwow uWu puvwty ÚwÚ and emptiness. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. :33 That ^.^ he >_> shouwd dwaw :33 his sevewaw strengths togethew 
xDD And come OwO against >_> us uWu in full puissance 
Nyeed nyot be ÚwÚ dweaded. 
>_> HASTINGS. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> shouwd UwU do >_> so, 
>w< He >w< weaves :33 his back unarm'd, x3 the OwO Fwench ÚwÚ and x3 Wewsh 
Baying uWu at :33 his xDD heews. xDD Nyevew feaw x3 that. 
>w< WOWD BARDOLPH. Who >_> is >w< it ^.^ wike >_> shouwd lead :33 his forces uWu hithew? 
>_> HASTINGS. uWu The >w< Duke of :3 Wancastew ÚwÚ and Westmowewand; 
^w^ Against x3 the OwO Wewsh, >_< himsewf ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Hawwy >w< Monmouth; 
OwO But who >_> is substituted OwO against x3 the OwO Fwench 
UwU I uWu have nyo xDD cewtain OwO nyotice. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. Let >_> us ;;w;; on, 
xDD And xDD pubwish x3 the ;;w;; occasion of UwU ouw arms. 
uWu The >_> commonweawth >_> is >w< sick of uWu theiw UwU own choice; 
^-^ Theiw xDD uvw-gweedy wuv hath xDD suwfeited. 
^-^ An ^w^ habitation ^-^ giddy ÚwÚ and unsuwe 
>_< Hath ^.^ he :3 that buildeth on x3 the uWu vuwgaw ;;w;; heawt. 
x3 O xDD thou fond UwU many, with >_> what ÚwÚ woud >_< appwause 
;;w;; Didst xDD thou xDD beat heaven with >_> bwessing :3 Bowingbwoke 
^.^ Befowe ^.^ he UwU was >_> what xDD thou wouldst uWu have ^.^ him OwO be! 
xDD And ^.^ being nyow trimm'd uWu in ^.^ thinye UwU own desires, 
Thou, OwO beastwy >_< feedew, awt UwU so full of ^.^ him 
:33 That xDD thou pwovok'st >w< thysewf to ;;w;; cast ^.^ him :33 up. 
So, >_> so, xDD thou ^w^ common dog, :33 didst xDD thou disgowge 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ gwutton ^w^ bosom of x3 the royal ;;w;; Wichawd; 
xDD And nyow xDD thou wouldst eat >w< thy >_< dead ^.^ vomit up, 
xDD And uWu howw'st to find :3 it. >_> What :33 twust >_> is uWu in these :33 times? 
^-^ They :3 that, when Richard liv'd, ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ him ^-^ die 
^w^ Awe nyow :33 become enyamouw'd on :33 his x3 gwave. 
^.^ Thou :3 that threw'st x3 dust ;;w;; upon :33 his xDD goodwy head, 
x3 When ^w^ thwough OwO pwoud ;;w;; Wondon ^.^ he ^-^ came ^-^ sighing on 
>w< Aftew x3 th' :33 admiwed heels of ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, 
^w^ Cwiest nyow ^w^ 'O earth, yield >_> us :3 that x3 king OwO again, 
xDD And OwO take xDD thou xDD this!' x3 O >_< thoughts of ;;w;; men accuws'd! 
^w^ Past ÚwÚ and to come ;;w;; seems OwO best; ^.^ things ÚwÚ pwesent, x3 wowst. 
MOWBRAY. Shall ^.^ we OwO go dwaw UwU ouw OwO nyumbews, ÚwÚ and uWu set ^-^ on? 
>_> HASTINGS. We OwO awe ÚwÚ time's xDD subjects, ÚwÚ and time UwU bids be ;;w;; gonye. 
Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Wondon. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew >_< HOSTESS with >w< two OwO officews, >w< FANG ÚwÚ and xDD SNyAWE 

HOSTESS. >_< Mastew Fang, uWu have xDD you ^w^ ent'wed x3 the uWu action? 
>_< FANG. ^.^ It >_> is ent'red. 
HOSTESS. :3 Whewe's x3 youw x3 yeoman? ^-^ Is't :3 a ÚwÚ wusty x3 yeoman? Will xDD 'a stand 
ÚwÚ to't? 
>_< FANG. Siwwah, where's Snare? 
HOSTESS. x3 O Wowd, :3 ay! ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew ;;w;; Snyawe. 
>w< SNyAWE. Here, hewe. 
>_< FANG. Snyawe, ^.^ we ^w^ must ;;w;; awwest Sir John >w< Fawstaff. 
HOSTESS. Yea, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew OwO Snyawe; UwU I uWu have ^w^ ent'wed ^.^ him ÚwÚ and all. 
>w< SNyAWE. ^.^ It OwO may chance >_> cost x3 some of UwU ouw lives, fow ^.^ he xDD wiww UwU stab. 
HOSTESS. Awas x3 the ^.^ day! OwO take :3 heed of him; ^.^ he stabb'd ;;w;; me uWu in >_< minye UwU own 
house, ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU most beastwy. ^w^ In ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, xDD 'a ÚwÚ cawes nyot >_> what 
^-^ mischief ^.^ he >w< does, >_> if :33 his :33 weapon be out; ^.^ he xDD wiww ^-^ foin ^.^ wike xDD any 
>_< deviw; ^.^ he xDD wiww ^-^ spawe :3 nyeithew ^w^ man, ^w^ woman, nor :33 chiwd. 
>_< FANG. ;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ can ^-^ cwose with :3 him, UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow :33 his >_< thwust. 
HOSTESS. :3 Nyo, nor UwU I UwU nyeithew; I'll be uWu at x3 youw :33 ewbow. 
>_< FANG. ^-^ An UwU I >_> but >_< fist ^.^ him once; >w< an xDD 'a come >_> but within x3 my vice! 
HOSTESS. UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ undonye ^.^ by :33 his ;;w;; going; UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, uWu he's >w< an 
infinitive ^.^ thing ;;w;; upon x3 my >_< scowe. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew Fang, howd ^.^ him >_> suwe. 
^-^ Good >_< Mastew Snyawe, wet ^.^ him nyot scape. >_> 'A x3 comes continyuantwy to 
uWu Pie-cownyew- OwO saving x3 youw :33 manhoods- to UwU buy :3 a ^w^ saddwe; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is 
x3 indited to dinner to x3 the uWu Wubbew's Head uWu in ;;w;; Wumbewt x3 Stweet, to 
>_< Mastew ^-^ Smooth's x3 the >_> siwkman. UwU I pray UwU you, xDD since x3 my UwU exion >_> is 
ent'wed, ÚwÚ and x3 my case UwU so OwO openwy ÚwÚ knyown to x3 the ^w^ wowwd, wet ^.^ him be 
^.^ bwought uWu in to :33 his answer. ^-^ A :3 hundwed mark >_> is :3 a ^-^ wong one fow :3 a poor 
^-^ wonye OwO woman to bear; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have bownye, ÚwÚ and bownye, ÚwÚ and bownye; ÚwÚ and 
uWu have :33 been :33 fubb'd ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and :33 fubb'd ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and :33 fubb'd ^w^ off, from ÚwÚ this 
day to :3 that ^-^ day, :3 that >w< it >_> is :3 a ^-^ shame to be xDD thought :3 on. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo 
honesty uWu in xDD such dealing; ^w^ unwess :3 a OwO woman >_> shouwd be UwU made >w< an >w< ass ÚwÚ and 
:3 a ^.^ beast, to UwU beaw every knave's wrong. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN ^-^ FAWSTAFF, PAGE, ÚwÚ and ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

Yondew ^.^ he ;;w;; comes; ÚwÚ and :3 that uWu awwant malmsey-nose ^-^ knyave, xDD Bawdowph, 
with ^.^ him. Do x3 youw ;;w;; offices, UwU do x3 youw ;;w;; offices, >_< Mastew uWu Fang ÚwÚ and 
>_< Mastew OwO Snyawe; UwU do uWu me, UwU do uWu me, UwU do ;;w;; me x3 youw x3 offices. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. How >_< nyow! x3 whose mare's dead? x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
>_< FANG. Sir John, UwU I ;;w;; awwest xDD you uWu at x3 the >_> suit of Mistress Quickwy. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 Away, >_> vawwets! ^.^ Dwaw, ^.^ Bawdowph. Cut ;;w;; me x3 off x3 the :3 viwwian's 
>_> head. Throw x3 the ^-^ quean uWu in x3 the :3 channyew. 
HOSTESS. Throw ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the ;;w;; channyew! I'll ^-^ thwow uWu thee uWu in x3 the :3 channyew. 
;;w;; Wiwt thou? wiwt thou? xDD thou bastawdwy UwU wogue! ^.^ Muwdew, uWu muwdew! xDD Ah, 
xDD thou xDD honyeysuckwe :33 viwwain! wiwt xDD thou OwO kiww >_> God's ^w^ officews ÚwÚ and x3 the 
xDD King's? xDD Ah, xDD thou :33 honyey-seed UwU wogue! xDD thou awt :3 a UwU honyey-seed; :3 a 
man-queller ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU woman-quewwew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^w^ Keep them ^w^ off, ^.^ Bawdowph. 
>_< FANG. ^-^ A wescue! :3 a wescue! 
HOSTESS. ^-^ Good >_> peopwe, ;;w;; bwing :3 a OwO wescue ow UwU two. ^.^ Thou UwU wot, uWu wot ^w^ thou! 
xDD thou UwU wot, uWu wot ta? UwU Do, UwU do, xDD thou UwU wogue! UwU do, xDD thou hemp-seed! 
xDD PAGE. :33 Away, xDD you scullion! xDD you x3 wampawwian! xDD you :33 fustiwawian! 
I'll tickwe x3 youw >_< catastwophe. 

Entew x3 the >w< WOWD ;;w;; CHIEF ^w^ JUSTICE ÚwÚ and :33 his ;;w;; men 

;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> What >_> is x3 the ^.^ mattew? ^w^ Keep x3 the uWu peace UwU hewe, ho! 
HOSTESS. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, be ÚwÚ good to x3 me. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, stand to x3 me. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. How now, Sir John! x3 what, OwO awe xDD you brawling hewe? 
^-^ Doth ÚwÚ this :33 become x3 youw pwace, x3 youw time, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; businyess? 
>_> You >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been weww on x3 youw uWu way to x3 Yowk. 
;;w;; Stand from :3 him, fellow; ^-^ whewefowe x3 hang'st xDD thou ;;w;; upon him? 
HOSTESS. x3 O OwO My UwU most worshipful uWu wowd, UwU an't uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a 
poor ^.^ widow of Eastcheap, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is awwested uWu at x3 my OwO suit. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. For >_> what ÚwÚ sum? 
HOSTESS. ^.^ It >_> is ^.^ mowe than fow some, x3 my wowd; >w< it >_> is fow ;;w;; aww- aww UwU I 
:3 have. >w< He hath eaten ;;w;; me x3 out of ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ home; ^.^ he hath put aww x3 my 
ÚwÚ substance x3 into :3 that :33 fat bewwy of ÚwÚ his. OwO But UwU I xDD wiww uWu have x3 some of >w< it 
x3 out OwO again, ow UwU I xDD wiww uWu wide uWu thee :3 a :33 nyights ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; mawe. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I think UwU I ^w^ am >_< as ^.^ wike to uWu wide x3 the mare, >_> if UwU I uWu have xDD any 
;;w;; vantage of x3 gwound to get :33 up. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. How x3 comes uWu this, Sir ^w^ John? uWu Fie! >_> What x3 man of ÚwÚ good 
xDD tempew ^.^ wouwd OwO enduwe ÚwÚ this UwU tempest of ÚwÚ excwamation? ^w^ Awe xDD you nyot 
OwO ashamed to enforce :3 a poor ^.^ widow to UwU so OwO wough :3 a course to come ^.^ by 
her >w< own? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What >_> is x3 the gwoss >w< sum :3 that UwU I >_> owe thee? 
HOSTESS. OwO Mawwy, >_> if xDD thou OwO wewt >w< an xDD honyest ^w^ man, >w< thysewf ÚwÚ and x3 the monyey 
UwU too. ^.^ Thou :33 didst >_< sweaw to ;;w;; me ;;w;; upon :3 a pawcew-giwt :3 gobwet, :3 sitting uWu in 
x3 my Dowphin chamber, uWu at x3 the ;;w;; wound ^-^ tabwe, ^.^ by :3 a >_> sea-coaw ^w^ fiwe, ;;w;; upon 
>w< Wednyesday uWu in ÚwÚ Wheeson ;;w;; week, when x3 the Prince broke >w< thy >_> head fow 
UwU wiking :33 his >w< fathew to singing-man of Windsow- xDD thou :33 didst >_< sweaw to 
;;w;; me >w< then, >_< as UwU I UwU was washing >w< thy ^-^ wound, to marry ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and >_< make ;;w;; me x3 my 
uWu wady >w< thy x3 wife. ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou UwU deny :33 it? Did nyot OwO goodwife >_> Keech, x3 the 
^w^ butchew's :3 wife, come uWu in xDD then ÚwÚ and caww ;;w;; me ^.^ gossip Quickwy? OwO Coming 
uWu in to :3 bowwow :3 a UwU mess of OwO vinyegaw, :3 tewwing >_> us ^.^ she xDD had :3 a ÚwÚ good ^w^ dish of 
OwO pwawns, wheweby xDD thou :33 didst ^.^ desiwe to eat some, wheweby UwU I told 
uWu thee ;;w;; they :3 wewe :33 iww fow green wound? xDD And :33 didst xDD thou >_> nyot, when ^.^ she 
UwU was >_> gonye down staiws, ^.^ desiwe ;;w;; me to be nyo ^.^ mowe UwU so :3 famiwiawity with 
xDD such poor >_> peopwe, :3 saying :3 that ere ^-^ wong ;;w;; they >_> shouwd caww ;;w;; me :33 madam? 
xDD And :33 didst xDD thou nyot :3 kiss uWu me, ÚwÚ and bid ;;w;; me :3 fetch x3 the ;;w;; thiwty 
OwO shiwwings? UwU I put uWu thee nyow to >w< thy uWu book-oath. >w< Deny :33 it, >_> if xDD thou 
>_> canst. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a poor ^-^ mad x3 souw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ;;w;; says x3 up ÚwÚ and 
down x3 the :33 town :3 that her eldest >_< son >_> is ^.^ wike OwO you. :33 She hath :33 been uWu in 
ÚwÚ good case, x3 and, x3 the uWu twuth ;;w;; is, uWu puvwty hath distracted her. OwO But 
fow these >_< foowish OwO officews, UwU I :33 beseech xDD you UwU I OwO may uWu have xDD wedwess 
OwO against OwO them. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. Sir John, Sir John, UwU I ^w^ am weww >_> acquainted with x3 youw 
^w^ mannyew of ^.^ wwenching x3 the true cause x3 the UwU fawse >_> way. ^.^ It >_> is nyot :3 a 
xDD confident >_> bwow, nor x3 the :33 thwong of wowds :3 that come with xDD such ^.^ mowe 
than ^w^ impudent saucinyess from UwU you, ^.^ can thwust ;;w;; me from :3 a ^w^ wevew 
UwU considewation. >_> You have, >_< as >w< it >_> appeaws to uWu me, ÚwÚ pwactis'd ;;w;; upon x3 the 
^w^ easy yiewding ^w^ spiwit of ÚwÚ this ^w^ woman, ÚwÚ and UwU made her serve x3 youw x3 uses 
both uWu in >_< puwse ÚwÚ and uWu in person. 
HOSTESS. Yea, uWu in truth, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> Pway ÚwÚ thee, peace. xDD Pay her x3 the >_> debt xDD you >_> owe hew, ÚwÚ and 
unpay x3 the xDD viwwainy xDD you uWu have donye with >w< hew; x3 the one xDD you OwO may UwU do 
with sterling monyey, ÚwÚ and x3 the othew with :3 cuwwent repentance. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^w^ undewgo ÚwÚ this sneap ^-^ without wepwy. >_> You 
caww ^.^ honyouwabwe boldness ^w^ impudent :3 saucinyess; >_> if :3 a x3 man xDD wiww >_< make 
:3 cuwtsy ÚwÚ and >_> say uWu nyothing, ^.^ he >_> is ÚwÚ viwtuous. :3 Nyo, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my humble 
>_> duty rememb'red, UwU I xDD wiww nyot be x3 youw >w< suitow. UwU I >_> say to xDD you UwU I UwU do 
^.^ desiwe dewivewance from these OwO officews, ^.^ being ;;w;; upon >_> hasty 
>w< empwoyment uWu in x3 the >_< King's x3 affaiws. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> You speak >_< as xDD having powew to UwU do >_> wwong; >_> but answew uWu in 
x3 th' ^w^ effect of x3 youw weputation, ÚwÚ and satisfy x3 the poor uWu woman. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Come hithew, hostess. 

Entew >_< GOWEW 

;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> Nyow, >_< Mastew ^w^ Gowew, >_> what nyews? 
GOWEW. uWu The OwO King, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Hawwy Prince of >_> Wawes 
^w^ Awe nyeaw uWu at >w< hand. uWu The xDD west x3 the paper tells. xDD [Gives :3 a >_> wettew] 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am :3 a gentleman! 
HOSTESS. Faith, xDD you uWu said UwU so befowe. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am :3 a gentleman! ^.^ Come, nyo ^.^ mowe wowds of :3 it. 
HOSTESS. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this ^-^ heavenwy x3 gwound UwU I ;;w;; twead ;;w;; on, UwU I ^w^ must be >_> fain to ^.^ pawn 
both x3 my pwate ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; tapestwy of x3 my ;;w;; dinying-chambews. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Gwasses, :33 gwasses, >_> is x3 the >w< onwy drinking; ÚwÚ and fow >w< thy 
walls, :3 a OwO pwetty :3 swight ^-^ dwowwewy, ow x3 the ^-^ stowy of x3 the :3 Pwodigaw, ow 
x3 the >_< Gewman :3 hunting, uWu in ^.^ watew-wowk, >_> is ^.^ wowth :3 a thousand of these 
>_< bed-hangews ÚwÚ and these fly-bitten :33 tapestwies. Let >w< it be ;;w;; ten ^.^ pound, 
>_> if xDD thou >_> canst. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ and >w< 'twewe nyot fow >w< thy >_< humouws, there's nyot 
:3 a xDD bettew OwO wench uWu in ^w^ Engwand. ^w^ Go, >_< wash >w< thy >w< face, ÚwÚ and dwaw x3 the 
OwO action. ^.^ Come, xDD thou ^w^ must nyot be uWu in ÚwÚ this humouw with OwO me; dost nyot 
^.^ knyow me? ^.^ Come, come, UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou >w< wast uWu set on to UwU this. 
HOSTESS. >_> Pway ÚwÚ thee, Sir John, wet >w< it be >_> but ÚwÚ twenty x3 nyobwes; 
:33 i' ^w^ faith, UwU I ^w^ am loath to ^.^ pawn x3 my ;;w;; pwate, UwU so ^w^ God :3 save uWu me, :33 wa! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Let >w< it ^.^ awonye; I'll >_< make othew >_> shift. You'll be :3 a >w< foow 
xDD stiww. 
HOSTESS. xDD Weww, xDD you UwU shaww uWu have :33 it, ^w^ though UwU I ^.^ pawn x3 my xDD gown. 
UwU I UwU hope you'ww come to x3 suppew. you'ww x3 pay ;;w;; me aww :33 togethew? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Will UwU I >_> wive? :33 [To ÚwÚ BAWDOWPH] ^w^ Go, with hew, with >w< hew; ÚwÚ hook 
;;w;; on, ÚwÚ hook :3 on. 
HOSTESS. Will xDD you uWu have OwO Doww >_< Teawsheet :3 meet xDD you uWu at supper? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. No ^.^ mowe words; >_> wet's uWu have her. 
Exeunt ;;w;; HOSTESS, uWu BAWDOWPH, ÚwÚ and OFFICEWS 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I uWu have heard xDD bettew ;;w;; nyews. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. x3 What's x3 the news, x3 my xDD wowd? 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. Whewe uWu way x3 the ^w^ King :3 to-nyight? 
GOWEW. At >w< Basingstoke, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I hope, x3 my uWu wowd, aww's well. >_> What >_> is x3 the news, x3 my xDD wowd? 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. :3 Come aww :33 his forces back? 
GOWEW. No; >_< fifteen :3 hundwed xDD foot, five :3 hundwed horse, 
^w^ Awe :3 mawch'd x3 up to x3 my Lord of Lancaster, 
^w^ Against ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand ÚwÚ and x3 the Archbishop. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU Comes x3 the ^w^ King back from ÚwÚ Wawes, x3 my x3 nyobwe xDD wowd? 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> You UwU shaww uWu have x3 wettews of ;;w;; me presently. 
^.^ Come, OwO go :3 awong with uWu me, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew Gower. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My ^.^ wowd! 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< Mastew ^w^ Gowew, UwU shaww UwU I entweat xDD you with ;;w;; me to dinner? 
GOWEW. UwU I ^w^ must wait ;;w;; upon x3 my ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wowd UwU hewe, UwU I >_> thank UwU you, ÚwÚ good Sir 
OwO John. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. Sir John, xDD you woitew OwO hewe ^w^ too long, ^.^ being xDD you OwO awe to 
OwO take ^-^ sowdiews x3 up uWu in counties >_< as xDD you ÚwÚ go. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Will xDD you UwU sup with uWu me, >_< Mastew UwU Gowew? 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> What >_< foowish >_< mastew ÚwÚ taught xDD you these :3 mannyews, Sir 
^w^ John? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< Mastew ^w^ Gowew, >_> if ;;w;; they :33 become ;;w;; me >_> nyot, ^.^ he UwU was :3 a >w< foow :3 that 
ÚwÚ taught them x3 me. This >_> is x3 the >w< wight ^.^ fencing gwace, x3 my wowd; tap fow 
UwU tap, ÚwÚ and UwU so ÚwÚ pawt >_< faiw. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >_> Nyow, x3 the Lord >_> wighten uWu thee! ^.^ Thou awt :3 a great xDD foow. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OwO Wondon. ÚwÚ Anyothew :3 stweet 

Entew PWINCE OwO HENWY ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ POINS 

>w< PWINCE. ^.^ Befowe :33 God, UwU I ^w^ am :33 exceeding weawy. 
>w< POINS. ^-^ Is't come to ^-^ that? UwU I xDD had xDD thought weariness x3 duwst nyot uWu have 
>_< attach'd one of UwU so xDD high blood. 
>w< PWINCE. Faith, >w< it does OwO me; ^w^ though >w< it >w< discowouws x3 the >_< compwexion of 
x3 my :33 gweatnyess to :3 acknyowwedge :3 it. ^-^ Doth >w< it nyot x3 show uWu viwewy uWu in ;;w;; me to 
^.^ desiwe UwU smaww >_> beew? 
>w< POINS. Why, :3 a >_> pwince >_> shouwd nyot be UwU so >_< woosewy xDD studied >_< as to 
remember UwU so xDD weak :3 a composition. 
>w< PWINCE. ÚwÚ Bewike xDD then x3 my xDD appetite UwU was ÚwÚ nyot-pwincewy xDD got; for, ^.^ by x3 my 
troth, UwU I UwU do nyow remember x3 the poor x3 cweatuwe, UwU smaww beew. OwO But 
ÚwÚ indeed these humble ;;w;; considewations >_< make ;;w;; me x3 out of wuv with x3 my 
gweatnyess. >_> What :3 a xDD disgwace >_> is >w< it to ;;w;; me to remember >w< thy :33 nyame, ow 
to ^.^ knyow >w< thy OwO face ^.^ to-mowwow, ow to OwO take ^-^ nyote >w< how UwU many :33 paiw of OwO siwk 
;;w;; stockings xDD thou ^-^ hast- xDD viz., OwO these, ÚwÚ and UwU those :3 that :3 wewe >w< thy 
>_< peach-cowouw'd ;;w;; onyes- ow to UwU beaw x3 the >_< inventowy of >w< thy shirts- as, 
one fow superfluity, ÚwÚ and anyothew fow ÚwÚ use! OwO But :3 that x3 the 
^.^ tennyis-couwt-keepew xDD knyows xDD bettew than x3 I; fow >w< it >_> is :3 a wow ebb of 
linen with uWu thee when xDD thou x3 keepest nyot racket uWu thewe; >_< as xDD thou x3 hast 
nyot donye :3 a great while, uWu because x3 the xDD west of >w< thy wow countwies 
uWu have UwU made :3 a OwO shift to eat x3 up >w< thy howwand. xDD And ^w^ God xDD knyows >w< whethew 
UwU those :3 that UwU baww x3 out of x3 the ruins of >w< thy linen UwU shaww x3 inhewit :33 his 
>_< kingdom; >_> but x3 the ÚwÚ midwives >_> say x3 the x3 chiwdwen OwO awe nyot uWu in x3 the fauwt; 
whereupon x3 the wowwd ^.^ incweases, ÚwÚ and kindreds OwO awe >w< mightiwy 
strengthened. 
>w< POINS. How :33 iww >w< it fowwows, ÚwÚ aftew xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ wabouwed UwU so hawd, xDD you 
>_> shouwd tawk UwU so idly! Teww uWu me, >w< how UwU many ÚwÚ good xDD young pwinces ^.^ wouwd 
UwU do >_> so, uWu theiw uWu fathews ^.^ being UwU so >w< sick >_< as >_> youws uWu at ÚwÚ this time :33 is? 
>w< PWINCE. Shall UwU I tell uWu thee one ÚwÚ thing, Poins? 
>w< POINS. Yes, xDD faith; ÚwÚ and wet >w< it be >w< an :3 excewwent ÚwÚ good >_> thing. 
>w< PWINCE. ^.^ It UwU shaww serve ^-^ among :33 wits of nyo :3 highew xDD bweeding than ÚwÚ thinye. 
>w< POINS. Go >w< to; UwU I stand x3 the :3 push of x3 youw one ^.^ thing :3 that xDD you xDD wiww 
tell. 
>w< PWINCE. OwO Mawwy, UwU I tell uWu thee >w< it >_> is nyot :3 meet :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd be :3 sad, nyow 
x3 my >w< fathew >_> is xDD sick; OwO awbeit UwU I couwd tell to ;;w;; thee- >_< as to one >w< it 
x3 pweases uWu me, fow ;;w;; fauwt of :3 a better, to caww x3 my >_< fwiend- UwU I couwd be 
>_> sad ÚwÚ and >_> sad ÚwÚ indeed UwU too. 
>w< POINS. Very hardly ;;w;; upon xDD such :3 a xDD subject. 
>w< PWINCE. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu hand, xDD thou >_> thinkest ;;w;; me >_< as uWu faw uWu in x3 the >_> deviw's ^w^ book 
>_< as xDD thou ÚwÚ and Falstaff fow obduracy ÚwÚ and persistency: wet x3 the >w< end 
>_> twy x3 the man. OwO But UwU I tell uWu thee x3 my >_< heawt ^.^ bweeds >w< inwawdwy :3 that x3 my 
>w< fathew >_> is UwU so xDD sick; ÚwÚ and ^w^ keeping xDD such ^-^ viwe >_< company >_< as xDD thou awt hath 
uWu in reason :33 taken from ;;w;; me aww ^.^ ostentation of ;;w;; sowwow. 
>w< POINS. uWu The uWu weason? 
>w< PWINCE. >_> What wouldst xDD thou think of ;;w;; me >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd ^w^ weep? 
>w< POINS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd think uWu thee :3 a UwU most princely ÚwÚ hypocwite. 
>w< PWINCE. ^.^ It ^.^ wouwd be every :33 man's thought; ÚwÚ and xDD thou awt :3 a blessed 
fewwow to think >_< as every x3 man thinks. xDD Nyevew :3 a :33 man's xDD thought uWu in x3 the 
wowwd keeps x3 the ÚwÚ woad-way xDD bettew than ÚwÚ thinye. Evewy x3 man ^.^ wouwd think 
;;w;; me >w< an hypocrite indeed. xDD And >_> what >_> accites x3 youw UwU most worshipful 
xDD thought to think so? 
>w< POINS. Why, uWu because xDD you uWu have :33 been UwU so x3 wewd ÚwÚ and UwU so much engraffed to 
>w< Fawstaff. 
>w< PWINCE. xDD And to thee. 
>w< POINS. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this wight, UwU I ^w^ am weww ^-^ spoke xDD on; UwU I ^.^ can hear >w< it with >_< minye 
UwU own ears. uWu The worst :3 that ;;w;; they ^.^ can >_> say of ;;w;; me >_> is :3 that UwU I ^w^ am :3 a second 
ÚwÚ bwothew ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU I ^w^ am :3 a OwO pwopew fewwow of x3 my hands; ÚwÚ and UwU those >w< two 
:3 things, UwU I >_> confess, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; hewp. ^-^ By x3 the UwU mass, OwO hewe x3 comes 
^.^ Bawdowph. 

Entew ^.^ BAWDOWPH ÚwÚ and ^.^ PAGE 

>w< PWINCE. xDD And x3 the ;;w;; boy :3 that UwU I uWu gave >w< Fawstaff. >_> 'A xDD had ^.^ him from ;;w;; me 
xDD Chwistian; ÚwÚ and wook >_> if x3 the :33 fat viwwain uWu have nyot ^.^ twansfowm'd ^.^ him 
x3 ape. 
BARDOLPH. ^w^ God :3 save x3 youw Grace! 
>w< PWINCE. xDD And >_< youws, UwU most x3 nyobwe Bawdowph! 
>w< POINS. ^.^ Come, xDD you virtuous ass, xDD you ^-^ bashfuw x3 foow, ^w^ must xDD you be 
^-^ bwushing? ÚwÚ Whewefowe bwush xDD you ^.^ nyow? >_> What :3 a maidenly man-at-arms 
OwO awe xDD you ^w^ become! ^-^ Is't xDD such :3 a ;;w;; mattew to get :3 a pottle-pot's 
maidenhead? 
xDD PAGE. >_> 'A ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; me ^w^ e'en now, x3 my uWu wowd, ^w^ thwough :3 a red >_< wattice, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
couwd discewn nyo ÚwÚ pawt of :33 his OwO face from x3 the :3 window. At >w< wast UwU I 
ÚwÚ spied :33 his eyes; ÚwÚ and >_> methought ^.^ he xDD had UwU made >w< two holes uWu in x3 the 
xDD awewife's x3 nyew ÚwÚ petticoat, ÚwÚ and UwU so >_< peep'd thwough. 
>w< PWINCE. x3 Has nyot x3 the ;;w;; boy profited? 
BARDOLPH. :33 Away, xDD you UwU whoweson ^w^ upwight :3 wabbit, away! 
xDD PAGE. :33 Away, xDD you rascally Awthaea's x3 dweam, away! 
>w< PWINCE. Instruct us, ^.^ boy; >_> what x3 dweam, boy? 
xDD PAGE. OwO Mawwy, x3 my uWu wowd, Althaea dweamt ^.^ she UwU was ^-^ dewivewed of :3 a 
xDD fiwebwand; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU I caww ^.^ him her UwU dweam. 
>w< PWINCE. ^-^ A UwU cwown's ^.^ wowth of ÚwÚ good xDD intewpwetation. >_> Thewe x3 'tis, uWu boy. 
>_> [Giving :3 a :33 cwown] 
>w< POINS. x3 O :3 that ÚwÚ this :3 bwossom couwd be :33 kept from cankers! 
xDD Weww, there >_> is x3 sixpence to pwesewve thee. 
BARDOLPH. ^-^ An xDD you UwU do nyot >_< make ^.^ him be :33 hang'd ^-^ among UwU you, x3 the >_< gawwows 
UwU shaww uWu have wrong. 
>w< PWINCE. xDD And >w< how xDD doth >w< thy ^.^ mastew, Bawdowph? 
BARDOLPH. xDD Weww, x3 my OwO wowd. >w< He heard of x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's xDD coming to xDD town. 
>_> Thewe's :3 a >_> wettew fow OwO you. 
>w< POINS. >_> Dewivew'd with ÚwÚ good wespect. xDD And >w< how xDD doth x3 the :3 mawtwemas, 
x3 youw ÚwÚ mastew? 
BARDOLPH. ^w^ In OwO bodiwy :33 heawth, sir. 
>w< POINS. OwO Mawwy, x3 the :3 immowtaw ÚwÚ pawt >_< nyeeds :3 a >_< physician; >_> but :3 that moves 
nyot ^.^ him. ;;w;; Though :3 that be :33 sick, >w< it dies not. 
>w< PWINCE. UwU I UwU do UwU awwow ÚwÚ this weww to be >_< as ^.^ famiwiaw with ;;w;; me >_< as x3 my xDD dog; 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ÚwÚ howds :33 his pwace, fow wook xDD you >w< how ^.^ he ^w^ wwites. 
>w< POINS. [Weads] ^w^ 'John :33 Fawstaff, OwO knyight'- Evewy x3 man ^w^ must ^.^ knyow :3 that 
>_< as ;;w;; oft >_< as ^.^ he >_> has ;;w;; occasion to xDD nyame himsewf, even ^.^ wike UwU those :3 that 
OwO awe ^-^ kin to x3 the uWu King; fow ;;w;; they >_< nyevew uWu pwick uWu theiw finger >_> but ;;w;; they 
>_> say 'There's x3 some of x3 the >_< King's :3 bwood :33 spiwt.' ^.^ 'How x3 comes ^w^ that?' 
;;w;; says ^.^ he :3 that UwU takes ;;w;; upon ^.^ him nyot to x3 conceive. uWu The answew >_> is >_< as 
ready >_< as :3 a borrower's cap: ÚwÚ 'I ^w^ am x3 the >_< King's poor OwO cousin, xDD siw.' 
>w< PWINCE. Nyay, ;;w;; they xDD wiww be ^-^ kin to us, ow ;;w;; they xDD wiww :3 fetch >w< it from 
OwO Japhet. OwO But x3 the uWu wettew: [Weads] ÚwÚ 'Siw John :33 Fawstaff, UwU knyight, to 
x3 the >_< son of x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ nyeawest :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ Hawwy Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, 
;;w;; gweeting.' 
>w< POINS. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a cewtificate. 
>w< PWINCE. ;;w;; Peace! [Weads] ÚwÚ 'I xDD wiww ^.^ imitate x3 the ^.^ honyouwabwe Romans uWu in 
:33 bwevity.'- 
>w< POINS. >w< He >_< suwe means ^-^ bwevity uWu in :33 bweath, ^.^ showt-winded. 
>w< PWINCE. [Weads] ÚwÚ 'I ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ thee, UwU I ÚwÚ commend ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
OwO weave thee. ^w^ Be nyot ^w^ too ^.^ famiwiaw with ;;w;; Poins; fow ^.^ he misuses >w< thy 
;;w;; favouws UwU so much :3 that ^.^ he ÚwÚ sweaws xDD thou awt to marry :33 his :3 sistew ^.^ Nyeww. 
uWu Wepent uWu at idle times >_< as xDD thou ^-^ mayst, ÚwÚ and UwU so farewell. 
Thinye, ^.^ by >w< yea ÚwÚ and xDD nyo- which >_> is >_< as much >_< as to >_> say >_< as 
xDD thou OwO usest uWu him- JACK FALSTAFF with x3 my familiars, 
>_< JOHN with x3 my bwothews ÚwÚ and sistews, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN with 
aww Europe.' 
>w< POINS. OwO My uWu wowd, I'll ÚwÚ steep ÚwÚ this >_> wettew uWu in ^-^ sack ÚwÚ and >_< make ^.^ him eat :3 it. 
>w< PWINCE. >w< That's to >_< make ^.^ him eat ÚwÚ twenty of :33 his ÚwÚ wowds. OwO But UwU do xDD you use 
;;w;; me thus, ^-^ Nyed? :3 Must UwU I marry x3 youw ^-^ sistew? 
>w< POINS. ^w^ God >_> send x3 the OwO wench nyo xDD wowse fortune! OwO But UwU I >_< nyevew uWu said :3 so. 
>w< PWINCE. xDD Weww, OwO thus ^.^ we :33 pway x3 the foows with x3 the time, ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; spiwits 
of x3 the uWu wise sit uWu in x3 the :33 cwouds ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ mock >_> us. Is x3 youw >_< mastew OwO hewe uWu in 
>_< Wondon? 
BARDOLPH. Yea, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>w< PWINCE. Whewe UwU sups uWu he? ^-^ Doth x3 the ;;w;; owd boar >w< feed uWu in x3 the ;;w;; owd >_< fwank? 
BARDOLPH. At x3 the ;;w;; owd pwace, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu in ^w^ Eastcheap. 
>w< PWINCE. >_> What :3 company? 
xDD PAGE. >w< Ephesians, x3 my uWu wowd, of x3 the ;;w;; owd :3 chuwch. 
>w< PWINCE. Sup xDD any x3 women with him? 
xDD PAGE. ÚwÚ Nyonye, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but ;;w;; owd Mistress ;;w;; Quickwy ÚwÚ and Mistress OwO Doww 
Tearsheet. 
>w< PWINCE. >_> What :33 pagan OwO may :3 that :3 be? 
xDD PAGE. ^-^ A OwO pwopew gentwewoman, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 kinswoman of x3 my mastew's. 
>w< PWINCE. Even xDD such ^-^ kin >_< as x3 the x3 pawish heifews OwO awe to x3 the :33 town x3 buww. 
Shall ^.^ we ^.^ steaw ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ them, >_> Nyed, uWu at supper? 
>w< POINS. UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw xDD shadow, x3 my wowd; I'll ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. 
>w< PWINCE. Siwwah, xDD you ^-^ boy, ÚwÚ and xDD Bawdowph, nyo ;;w;; wowd to x3 youw >_< mastew :3 that 
UwU I ^w^ am yet come to xDD town. >_> Thewe's fow x3 youw x3 siwence. 
BARDOLPH. UwU I uWu have nyo ;;w;; tongue, sir. 
xDD PAGE. xDD And fow >_> minye, ^w^ siw, UwU I xDD wiww >_< guvwn :3 it. 
>w< PWINCE. >w< Fawe xDD you well; ÚwÚ go. Exeunt ^.^ BAWDOWPH ÚwÚ and ^.^ PAGE 
This OwO Doww >_< Teawsheet >_> shouwd be x3 some uWu woad. 
>w< POINS. UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, >_< as ^w^ common >_< as x3 the uWu way ^-^ between Saint Awbans ÚwÚ and 
OwO Wondon. 
>w< PWINCE. How ^w^ might ^.^ we >_> see Falstaff bestow >_< himsewf ^.^ to-nyight uWu in :33 his 
true cowouws, ÚwÚ and nyot ouwsewves be >w< seen? 
>w< POINS. >_> Put on >w< two weathewn jerkins ÚwÚ and ^.^ apwons, ÚwÚ and wait ;;w;; upon ^.^ him uWu at 
:33 his tabwe >_< as ^w^ dwawews. 
>w< PWINCE. Fwom :3 a god to :3 a >_< buww? ^-^ A x3 heavy xDD descension! ^.^ It UwU was Juv's 
:3 case. Fwom :3 a >_> pwince to :3 a pwentice? ^-^ A wow ;;w;; twansfowmation! :33 That 
UwU shaww be minye; fow uWu in evewything x3 the OwO puwpose ^w^ must >w< weigh with x3 the 
^w^ fowwy. Follow uWu me, Nyed. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^.^ Wawkwowth. ^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ castwe 

Entew OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, :3 WADY OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, ÚwÚ and :3 WADY uWu PEWCY 

:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, >w< woving :3 wife, ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe ^w^ daughtew, 
Give even uWu way >w< unto x3 my OwO wough affaiws; 
>_> Put nyot xDD you on x3 the >w< visage of x3 the times 
xDD And be, ^.^ wike ÚwÚ them, to ^-^ Pewcy troublesome. 
:3 WADY :33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. UwU I uWu have UwU given UwU uvw, UwU I xDD wiww speak nyo more. 
Do >_> what xDD you :33 wiww; x3 youw ^.^ wisdom be x3 youw x3 guide. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 sweet :3 wife, x3 my honour >_> is uWu at xDD pawn; 
xDD And >_> but x3 my x3 going >_< nyothing ^.^ can xDD wedeem :3 it. 
:3 WADY ^-^ PEWCY. >_< O, ^w^ yet, fow >_> God's ^w^ sake, OwO go nyot to these x3 waws! 
uWu The time UwU was, ÚwÚ fathew, :3 that xDD you broke x3 youw word, 
x3 When xDD you :3 wewe ^.^ mowe UwU endeaw'd to >w< it than >_< nyow; 
x3 When x3 youw UwU own >w< Pewcy, when x3 my heart's uWu deaw ^w^ Hawwy, 
UwU Thwew UwU many :3 a nyowthwawd wook to >_> see :33 his >w< fathew 
Bring x3 up :33 his powews; >_> but ^.^ he uWu did ^-^ wong uWu in OwO vain. 
Who xDD then >w< pewsuaded xDD you to xDD stay uWu at ^w^ home? 
>_> Thewe :3 wewe >w< two honyouws :3 wost, >_> youws ÚwÚ and x3 youw son's. 
For >_< youws, x3 the ^w^ God of heaven ^.^ bwighten :3 it! 
For his, >w< it ^.^ stuck ;;w;; upon ^.^ him >_< as x3 the sun 
^w^ In x3 the ^w^ gwey >_< vauwt of xDD heaven; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :33 his >w< wight 
Did aww x3 the xDD chivawwy of England move 
;;w;; To UwU do >_< bwave uWu acts. >w< He UwU was ÚwÚ indeed x3 the gwass 
^-^ Whewein x3 the x3 nyobwe :33 youth uWu did :3 dwess x3 themsewves. 
>w< He xDD had nyo UwU wegs :3 that ÚwÚ pwactis'd nyot :33 his gait; 
xDD And speaking thick, which ÚwÚ nyatuwe UwU made :33 his ÚwÚ bwemish, 
^w^ Became x3 the ;;w;; accents of x3 the valiant; 
For UwU those who couwd speak wow ÚwÚ and :3 tawdiwy 
Wouwd turn uWu theiw UwU own pewfection to abuse 
;;w;; To xDD seem ^.^ wike :33 him: UwU so :3 that uWu in ;;w;; speech, uWu in gait, 
^w^ In ;;w;; diet, uWu in affections of OwO dewight, 
^w^ In x3 miwitawy rules, humours of bwood, 
>w< He UwU was x3 the mark ÚwÚ and gwass, copy ÚwÚ and ^-^ book, 
:33 That uWu fashion'd ÚwÚ othews. xDD And uWu him- x3 O wondwous x3 him! 
x3 O :33 miwacwe of ÚwÚ men!- ^.^ him uWu did xDD you weave- 
^w^ Second to nyonye, x3 unseconded ^.^ by :3 you- 
;;w;; To wook ;;w;; upon x3 the ^-^ hideous god of >w< waw 
^w^ In >w< disadvantage, to abide :3 a field 
Whewe >_< nyothing >_> but x3 the >_> sound of Hotspur's xDD nyame 
Did xDD seem defensible. ^w^ So xDD you left ^.^ him. 
Nyevew, x3 O ;;w;; nyevew, UwU do :33 his xDD ghost x3 the wrong 
;;w;; To howd x3 youw honour ^.^ mowe OwO pwecise ÚwÚ and UwU nyice 
With ;;w;; othews than with x3 him! Let them >_< awonye. 
uWu The UwU Mawshaw ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU Awchbishop OwO awe strong. 
xDD Had x3 my x3 sweet ÚwÚ Hawwy xDD had >_> but half uWu theiw OwO nyumbews, 
OwO To-day ^w^ might I, >_< hanging on Hotspur's neck, 
:3 Have ^w^ tawk'd of Monmouth's x3 gwave. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Beshrew x3 youw uWu heawt, 
Faiw ^w^ daughtew, xDD you UwU do dwaw x3 my ;;w;; spiwits from ;;w;; me 
With x3 nyew lamenting UwU ancient UwU uvwsights. 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ must OwO go ÚwÚ and :3 meet with danger thewe, 
:33 Ow >w< it xDD wiww >_> seek ;;w;; me uWu in anyothew pwace, 
xDD And find ;;w;; me xDD wowse pwovided. 
:3 WADY :33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. >_< O, fwy to :3 Scotwand 
Tiww :3 that x3 the nyobwes ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 awmed >w< commons 
:3 Have of uWu theiw puissance UwU made :3 a xDD wittwe taste. 
:3 WADY ^-^ PEWCY. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they get x3 gwound ÚwÚ and ;;w;; vantage of x3 the OwO King, 
UwU Then ^w^ join xDD you with ÚwÚ them, ^.^ wike :3 a x3 wib of >w< steew, 
;;w;; To >_< make ÚwÚ stwength stwongew; but, fow aww UwU ouw wuvs, 
First wet them >_> twy x3 themsewves. ^w^ So uWu did x3 youw son; 
>w< He UwU was UwU so suff'red; UwU so ^-^ came UwU I :3 a widow; 
xDD And >_< nyevew UwU shaww uWu have :33 wength of >w< wife enough 
;;w;; To xDD wain ;;w;; upon wemembwance with >_< minye ^w^ eyes, 
:33 That >w< it OwO may gwow ÚwÚ and UwU spwout >_< as xDD high >_< as ^.^ heaven, 
For uWu wecowdation to x3 my x3 nyobwe husband. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^.^ Come, come, OwO go uWu in with x3 me. 'Tis with x3 my ^-^ mind 
;;w;; As with x3 the >_< tide UwU sweww'd x3 up >w< unto :33 his xDD height, 
:33 That x3 makes :3 a stiww-stand, wunnying :3 nyeithew >_> way. 
Fain ^.^ wouwd UwU I OwO go to :3 meet x3 the Awchbishop, 
OwO But UwU many thousand weasons howd ;;w;; me back. 
UwU I xDD wiww wesowve fow Scotland. >_> Thewe ^w^ am I, 
Tiww time ÚwÚ and ;;w;; vantage ^w^ cwave x3 my UwU company. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The Boar's Head >w< Tavewn uWu in xDD Eastcheap 

Entew FRANCIS ÚwÚ and anyothew :33 DWAWEW 

FRANCIS. >_> What x3 the ^.^ deviw x3 hast xDD thou ^.^ bwought there-apple-johns? ^.^ Thou 
knowest Sir John ;;w;; cannyot OwO enduwe >w< an apple-john. 
^w^ SECOND >_< DWAWEW. Mass, xDD thou say'st true. uWu The Prince >_> once uWu set :3 a ^w^ dish 
of ^w^ appwe-johns >w< befowe :3 him, ÚwÚ and told ^.^ him there :3 wewe five ^.^ mowe Sir 
xDD Johns; x3 and, ^.^ putting x3 off :33 his hat, uWu said ÚwÚ 'I xDD wiww nyow OwO take x3 my OwO weave 
of these six ^.^ dwy, ^-^ wound, :3 owd, :3 withewed knights.' ^.^ It ang'red ^.^ him 
to x3 the heawt; >_> but ^.^ he hath fowgot x3 that. 
FRANCIS. Why, >w< then, UwU cuvw ÚwÚ and uWu set them down; ÚwÚ and >_> see >_> if xDD thou ;;w;; canst 
find x3 out Snyeak's noise; Mistress >_< Teawsheet ^.^ wouwd >_> fain hear x3 some 
>_> music. 

Entew thiwd :33 DWAWEW 

^w^ THIWD >_< DWAWEW. ^w^ Dispatch! uWu The >_> woom :3 whewe ;;w;; they >_> supp'd >_> is ^w^ too ^.^ hot; 
they'ww come uWu in stwaight. 
FRANCIS. Siwwah, OwO hewe xDD wiww be x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and >_< Mastew ^-^ Poins anon; ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; they xDD wiww put on >w< two of UwU ouw jerkins ÚwÚ and >_< apwons; ÚwÚ and Sir John ^w^ must 
nyot ^.^ knyow of :3 it. Bardolph hath ^.^ bwought OwO wowd. 
^w^ THIWD >_< DWAWEW. ^-^ By x3 the UwU mass, OwO hewe xDD wiww be ;;w;; owd ^.^ uds; >w< it xDD wiww be >w< an 
:3 excewwent >_> stwatagem. 
^w^ SECOND >_< DWAWEW. I'll >_> see >_> if UwU I ^.^ can find x3 out Sneak. 
Exeunt second ÚwÚ and thiwd ^-^ DWAWEWS 

Entew >_< HOSTESS ÚwÚ and :3 DOWW x3 TEAWSHEET 

HOSTESS. xDD I' ^w^ faith, ^w^ sweetheawt, uWu methinks nyow xDD you OwO awe uWu in >w< an :3 excewwent 
ÚwÚ good ^.^ tempewawity. uWu Youw >_> puwsidge ÚwÚ beats >_< as xDD extwaowdinyawiwy >_< as >_< heawt 
^.^ wouwd desire; ÚwÚ and x3 youw :33 cowouw, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, >_> is >_< as red >_< as xDD any 
rose, uWu in ÚwÚ good truth, :33 wa! But, :33 i' ^w^ faith, xDD you uWu have UwU dwunk ^w^ too much 
UwU canyawies; ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's :3 a marvellous searching wine, ÚwÚ and >w< it uWu pewfumes 
x3 the :3 bwood ere one ^.^ can >_> say x3 'What's >_< this?' How UwU do xDD you ^.^ nyow? 
DOLL. uWu Bettew than UwU I ^.^ was- UwU hem. 
HOSTESS. Why, ^w^ that's weww ÚwÚ said; :3 a ÚwÚ good heart's ^.^ wowth ;;w;; gowd. 
Lo, OwO hewe x3 comes Sir OwO John. 

Entew FALSTAFF 

>_> FAWSTAFF. [Singing] ^-^ 'When Awthuw xDD fiwst uWu in court'- x3 Empty x3 the 
jordan. ;;w;; [Exit FRANCIS]- [Singing] uWu 'And UwU was :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy >_> king'- How 
now, Mistress Doll! 
HOSTESS. :3 Sick of :3 a :3 cawm; >w< yea, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ faith. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^w^ So >_> is aww her sect; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they be >_> once uWu in :3 a calm, ;;w;; they OwO awe 
;;w;; sick. 
DOLL. ^-^ A uWu pox damn UwU you, xDD you >_> muddy rascal! Is :3 that aww x3 the uWu comfowt xDD you 
UwU give me? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> You >_< make :33 fat wascaws, Mistress Doll. 
DOLL. UwU I >_< make >w< them! Gluttony ÚwÚ and ^-^ diseases >_< make ^w^ them: UwU I >_< make them 
not. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; If x3 the cook OwO hewp to >_< make x3 the ^.^ gwuttony, xDD you OwO hewp to >_< make 
x3 the ^.^ diseases, Doll. We catch of UwU you, Doww, ^.^ we catch of uWu you; gwant 
:3 that, x3 my poor virtue, gwant x3 that. 
DOLL. Yea, joy, UwU ouw >_> chains ÚwÚ and UwU ouw jewews. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu 'Youw bwooches, ;;w;; peawws, ÚwÚ and ouches.' For to serve bravely 
>_> is to come uWu hawting :33 off; xDD you knyow, to come x3 off x3 the ^w^ bweach with :33 his 
pike UwU bent bwavewy, ÚwÚ and to ;;w;; suwgewy UwU bwavewy; to venture ;;w;; upon x3 the 
:3 chawg'd ^.^ chambews bwavewy- 
DOLL. Hang yourself, xDD you >_> muddy congew, ^w^ hang youwsewf! 
HOSTESS. ^-^ By x3 my troth, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the ;;w;; owd fashion; xDD you >w< two >_< nyevew :3 meet 
>_> but xDD you faww to x3 some discowd. >_> You OwO awe xDD both, :33 i' ÚwÚ good truth, >_< as 
^.^ wheumatic >_< as >w< two xDD dwy OwO toasts; xDD you ;;w;; cannyot one UwU beaw with another's 
confiwmities. >_> What x3 the ;;w;; good-yeaw! one ^w^ must >_> beaw, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^w^ must be 
OwO you. >_> You OwO awe x3 the weaker ^w^ vessew, >_< as >_< as ;;w;; they say, x3 the emptier 
vessel. 
DOLL. UwU Can :3 a xDD weak :33 empty vessel UwU beaw xDD such :3 a >_> huge full :3 hogs-head? 
>_> Thewe's :3 a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux ^w^ stuff uWu in him; xDD you 
uWu have nyot :3 seen :3 a uWu huwk xDD bettew UwU stuff'd uWu in x3 the hold. ^.^ Come, I'll be 
^w^ fwiends with ÚwÚ thee, >w< Jack. ^.^ Thou awt x3 going to x3 the x3 waws; ÚwÚ and >w< whethew 
UwU I UwU shaww OwO evew >_> see uWu thee again ow no, there >_> is >w< nyobody cares. 

^.^ We-entew FRANCIS 

FRANCIS. UwU Siw, Ancient uWu Pistow's bewow ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd speak with OwO you. 
DOLL. Hang :3 him, :3 swaggewing rascal! Let ^.^ him nyot come hithew; >w< it >_> is 
x3 the fouw-mouth'dst ;;w;; wogue uWu in ^w^ Engwand. 
HOSTESS. ;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 swaggew, wet ^.^ him nyot come hewe. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my >_< faith! UwU I 
^w^ must ^w^ wive ^-^ among x3 my >w< nyeighbouws; I'll nyo OwO swaggewews. UwU I ^w^ am uWu in ÚwÚ good 
xDD nyame ÚwÚ and fame with x3 the xDD vewy >_> best. ÚwÚ Shut x3 the UwU doow. >_> Thewe x3 comes nyo 
ÚwÚ swaggewews ^.^ hewe; UwU I uWu have nyot liv'd aww ÚwÚ this OwO whiwe to uWu have 
:3 swaggewing now. ÚwÚ Shut x3 the door, UwU I pray OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu Dost xDD thou heaw, x3 hostess? 
HOSTESS. >_> Pway :3 ye, ^w^ pacify yourself, Sir John; there x3 comes nyo 
ÚwÚ swaggewews hewe. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu Dost xDD thou UwU heaw? ^.^ It >_> is >_< minye ;;w;; ancient. 
HOSTESS. >w< Tiwwy-fawwy, Sir John, ^w^ nye'ew tell OwO me; ÚwÚ and x3 youw UwU ancient 
swagg'wew x3 comes nyot uWu in x3 my x3 doows. UwU I UwU was >w< befowe >_< Mastew UwU Tisick, x3 the 
debuty, t' othew uWu day; x3 and, >_< as ^.^ he uWu said to me- uWu 'twas nyo longer ^w^ ago 
than >w< Wednyesday last, :33 i' ÚwÚ good >_< faith!- x3 'Nyeighbouw ^.^ Quickwy,' ;;w;; says 
xDD he- >_< Mastew OwO Dumbe, UwU ouw minister, UwU was ^.^ by ^.^ then- x3 'Nyeighbouw ^.^ Quickwy,' 
;;w;; says ^.^ he >_< 'weceive UwU those :3 that OwO awe x3 civiw, for' uWu said ^.^ he >w< 'you OwO awe uWu in 
>w< an :33 iww ^w^ nyame.' Now xDD 'a uWu said >_> so, UwU I ^.^ can tell wheweupon. x3 'Fow' ;;w;; says ^.^ he 
>w< 'you OwO awe >w< an xDD honyest OwO woman ÚwÚ and weww xDD thought ;;w;; on, >_< thewefowe OwO take :3 heed 
>_> what ;;w;; guests xDD you OwO weceive. >_< Weceive' ;;w;; says ^.^ he 'no :3 swaggewing 
companyions.' >_> Thewe x3 comes >_< nyonye hewe. >_> You ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; bwess xDD you to hear 
>_> what ^.^ he UwU said. :3 Nyo, I'll nyo x3 swagg'wews. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. He's nyo ^-^ swagg'wew, ÚwÚ hostess; :3 a >w< tame ^.^ cheatew, :33 i' xDD faith; xDD you 
OwO may ^w^ stwoke ^.^ him >_< as gently >_< as :3 a :3 puppy xDD gweyhound. ^-^ He'ww nyot ^.^ swaggew 
with :3 a Bawbawy UwU hen, >_> if her feathers turn back uWu in xDD any x3 show of 
resistance. ;;w;; Caww ^.^ him up, UwU dwawew. 
uWu Exit FRANCIS 
HOSTESS. OwO Cheatew, caww xDD you him? UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ baw nyo xDD honyest x3 man x3 my house, 
nor nyo cheatew; >_> but UwU I UwU do nyot wuv >w< swaggewing, ^.^ by x3 my troth. UwU I ^w^ am 
x3 the xDD wowse when one ;;w;; says ;;w;; 'swaggew.' ^w^ Feew, mastews, >w< how UwU I xDD shake; 
wook UwU you, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
DOLL. ^w^ So xDD you UwU do, hostess. 
HOSTESS. Do >_< I? Yea, uWu in xDD vewy truth, UwU do I, >w< an >w< 'twewe >w< an OwO aspen >_< weaf. UwU I 
;;w;; cannyot abide x3 swagg'wews. 

Entew x3 PISTOW, uWu BAWDOWPH, ÚwÚ and ^.^ PAGE 

PISTOL. ^w^ God :3 save UwU you, Sir John! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, ^.^ Pistow, UwU I :3 chawge xDD you with 
:3 a >w< cup of >_< sack; UwU do xDD you ;;w;; dischawge ;;w;; upon >_< minye hostess. 
PISTOL. UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; dischawge ;;w;; upon hew, Sir John, with >w< two >w< buwwets. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 She >_> is pistol-proof, siw; xDD you UwU shaww nyot hardly ^-^ offend 
her. 
HOSTESS. ^.^ Come, I'll ÚwÚ dwink nyo proofs nor nyo >w< buwwets. I'll ÚwÚ dwink nyo 
^.^ mowe than xDD wiww UwU do ;;w;; me UwU good, fow nyo :33 man's x3 pweasuwe, ^.^ I. 
PISTOL. UwU Then to UwU you, Mistress :33 Dowothy; UwU I xDD wiww :3 chawge OwO you. 
DOLL. uWu Chawge me! UwU I ^w^ scown UwU you, ^.^ scuwvy companyion. What! xDD you OwO poow, 
base, rascally, ÚwÚ cheating, lack-linen >_> mate! :33 Away, xDD you >_< mouwdy 
:33 wogue, away! UwU I ^w^ am :3 meat fow x3 youw master. 
PISTOL. UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU you, Mistress uWu Dowothy. 
DOLL. :33 Away, xDD you UwU cut-puwse rascal! xDD you :33 fiwthy x3 bung, away! ^-^ By ÚwÚ this 
wine, I'll thwust x3 my knyife uWu in x3 youw >_< mouwdy ÚwÚ chaps, >w< an xDD you :33 pway x3 the 
^w^ saucy >_> cuttwe with x3 me. :33 Away, xDD you >w< bottwe-awe rascal! xDD you 
basket-hiwt ÚwÚ stawe uWu juggwew, you! Since xDD when, UwU I pray UwU you, UwU siw? 
>_> God's wight, with >w< two x3 points on x3 youw shoulder? Much! 
PISTOL. ^w^ God wet ;;w;; me nyot ^w^ wive >_> but UwU I xDD wiww murder x3 youw OwO wuff fow UwU this. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. No >_> mowe, :33 Pistow; UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have xDD you OwO go x3 off hewe. 
UwU Dischawge >_> youwsewf of UwU ouw xDD company, Pistol. 
HOSTESS. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ good uWu Captain :33 Pistow; nyot UwU hewe, x3 sweet :33 captain. 
DOLL. ÚwÚ Captain! ^.^ Thou UwU abominyabwe damn'd ^.^ cheatew, awt xDD thou nyot OwO ashamed 
to be ^w^ cawwed >_< captain? ^-^ An ^.^ captains :3 wewe of x3 my UwU mind, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd 
^w^ twuncheon xDD you ^.^ out, fow :3 taking uWu theiw nyames ;;w;; upon xDD you >w< befowe xDD you 
uWu have xDD eawn'd OwO them. >_> You :3 a ÚwÚ captain! xDD you :33 swave, fow UwU what? For teawing 
:3 a poor xDD whowe's OwO wuff uWu in :3 a ^w^ bawdy-house? >w< He :3 a ÚwÚ captain! ^w^ hang :3 him, 
UwU wogue! >w< He ;;w;; wives ;;w;; upon >_< mouwdy UwU stew'd ^-^ pwunyes ÚwÚ and dwied >w< cakes. ^-^ A 
ÚwÚ captain! >_> God's wight, these x3 viwwains xDD wiww >_< make x3 the ;;w;; wowd >_< as uWu odious 
>_< as x3 the ;;w;; wowd ^-^ 'occupy'; which UwU was >w< an :3 excewwent ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wowd >w< befowe >w< it 
UwU was :33 iww sorted. Therefore ^.^ captains xDD had >_< nyeed wook to't. 
BARDOLPH. >_> Pway uWu thee OwO go ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; ancient. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Hawk uWu thee hithew, Mistress Doll. 
PISTOL. ÚwÚ Nyot >_< I! UwU I tell uWu thee x3 what, ^w^ Cowpowaw xDD Bawdowph, UwU I couwd teaw 
>w< hew; I'll be ^w^ weveng'd of her. 
xDD PAGE. >_> Pway uWu thee OwO go down. 
PISTOL. I'll >_> see her damn'd first; to Pluto's damn'd x3 wake, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this 
uWu hand, to x3 th' infewnyaw >w< deep, with Erebus ÚwÚ and >_< towtuwes ^-^ viwe also. 
:33 Howd ÚwÚ hook ÚwÚ and xDD winye, >_> say ^.^ I. Down, ;;w;; down, x3 dogs! ;;w;; down, ^.^ faitows! :3 Have 
^.^ we nyot Hiren hewe? 
HOSTESS. ^-^ Good uWu Captain uWu Peesew, be ^.^ quiet; UwU 'tis xDD vewy late, :33 i' xDD faith; UwU I 
^-^ beseek xDD you now, aggravate x3 youw chowew. 
PISTOL. ;;w;; These be ÚwÚ good >_< humouws, ^w^ indeed! Shall ^-^ packhowses, 
xDD And OwO howwow OwO pampew'd x3 jades of :3 Asia, 
>_< Which ;;w;; cannyot OwO go >_> but ;;w;; thiwty miwe :3 a ^-^ day, 
UwU Compawe with Caesaws, ÚwÚ and with :3 Cannyibaws, 
xDD And ^.^ Twoiant Greeks? Nyay, rather damn them with 
^w^ King Cerberus; ÚwÚ and wet x3 the welkin >w< woaw. 
Shall ^.^ we faww fouw fow x3 toys? 
HOSTESS. ^-^ By x3 my troth, xDD Captain, these OwO awe xDD vewy UwU bittew ÚwÚ wowds. 
BARDOLPH. ^w^ Be >w< gonye, ÚwÚ good >_> ancient; ÚwÚ this xDD wiww gwow to :3 a uWu bwaww x3 anyon. 
PISTOL. :33 Die ;;w;; men ^.^ wike x3 dogs! Give :3 cwowns ^.^ wike :3 pins! :3 Have ^.^ we nyot Hiren 
hewe? 
HOSTESS. UwU O' x3 my word, xDD Captain, there's >_< nyonye xDD such hewe. >_> What x3 the 
;;w;; good-yeaw! UwU do xDD you think UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU deny OwO hew? For >_> God's ^w^ sake, be 
ÚwÚ quiet. 
PISTOL. UwU Then >w< feed ÚwÚ and be ÚwÚ fat, x3 my >w< faiw Cawipowis. 
^.^ Come, OwO give's x3 some :33 sack. 
'Si :3 fowtunye ;;w;; me towmente sperato ;;w;; me >_< contento.' 
Fear ^.^ we >_< bwoadsides? :3 Nyo, wet x3 the >_< fiend UwU give >_> fiwe. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 some >_< sack; x3 and, ^w^ sweetheawt, >_< wie xDD thou :33 thewe. 
[Laying down :33 his :3 swowd] 
:3 Come ^.^ we to full x3 points UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and OwO awe etceteras :33 nyothings? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Pistow, UwU I ^.^ wouwd be ÚwÚ quiet. 
PISTOL. ÚwÚ Sweet UwU knyight, UwU I :3 kiss >w< thy nyeaf. What! ^.^ we uWu have :3 seen x3 the ÚwÚ seven 
>w< staws. 
DOLL. For >_> God's ÚwÚ sake thwust ^.^ him down >_< staiws; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO enduwe xDD such :3 a 
xDD fustian ^w^ wascaw. 
PISTOL. Thrust ^.^ him down UwU staiws! xDD Knyow ^.^ we nyot >_< Gawwoway nags? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Quoit ^.^ him ;;w;; down, xDD Bawdowph, ^.^ wike :3 a >_< shuv-gwoat shilling. 
Nyay, >w< an xDD 'a UwU do >_< nyothing >_> but speak uWu nyothing, xDD 'a UwU shaww be >_< nyothing 
hewe. 
BARDOLPH. ^.^ Come, get xDD you down stairs. 
PISTOL. What! UwU shaww ^.^ we uWu have incision? Shall ^.^ we >_< imbwue? 
UwU [Snyatching x3 up :33 his :3 swowd] 
UwU Then :33 death OwO wock ;;w;; me ^-^ asweep, abridge x3 my dowefuw :33 days! 
Why, >w< then, wet UwU gwievous, >_< ghastwy, :33 gaping wounds 
Untwine x3 the Sistews Three! ^.^ Come, >_> Atwopos, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
HOSTESS. >_> Hewe's xDD goodwy ^w^ stuff towawd! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Give ;;w;; me x3 my wapiew, uWu boy. 
DOLL. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, Jack, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, UwU do nyot OwO dwaw. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< Get xDD you down stairs. 
>w< [Dwawing ÚwÚ and driving PISTOW out] 
HOSTESS. >_> Hewe's :3 a xDD goodwy >_> tumuwt! I'll >w< fowsweaw ^w^ keeping ;;w;; house ^-^ afowe 
I'll be uWu in these x3 tiwwits ÚwÚ and frights. :33 So; muwdew, UwU I :33 wawwant now. 
ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ awas! put x3 up x3 youw nyaked ^.^ weapons, put x3 up x3 youw nyaked uWu weapons. 
Exeunt PISTOW ÚwÚ and ^.^ BAWDOWPH 
DOLL. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, Jack, be ^.^ quiet; x3 the ^-^ wascaw's ;;w;; gonye. xDD Ah, xDD you 
UwU whoweson xDD wittwe uWu vawiant villain, you! 
HOSTESS. ^w^ Awe xDD you nyot ÚwÚ huwt :33 i' x3 th' gwoin? :33 Methought xDD 'a UwU made :3 a shrewd 
thwust uWu at x3 youw bewwy. 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Have xDD you >_> tuwn'd ^.^ him x3 out :3 a xDD doows? 
BARDOLPH. Yea, sir. uWu The ^-^ wascaw's drunk. >_> You uWu have ÚwÚ huwt :3 him, ^w^ siw, :33 i' 
x3 th' shoulder. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ A rascal! to >_< bwave me! 
DOLL. xDD Ah, xDD you x3 sweet xDD wittwe :33 wogue, you! ÚwÚ Awas, poor >_< ape, >w< how xDD thou 
xDD sweat'st! ^.^ Come, wet ;;w;; me xDD wipe >w< thy ;;w;; face. :3 Come ;;w;; on, xDD you UwU whoweson 
chops. xDD Ah, UwU wogue! :33 i' ^w^ faith, UwU I wuv thee. ^.^ Thou awt >_< as valorous >_< as 
>_> Hectow of Troy, ^.^ wowth five of xDD Agamemnyon, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; ten times xDD bettew 
than x3 the Nine ^-^ Wowthies. xDD Ah, :33 viwwain! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ A rascally x3 swave! UwU I xDD wiww toss x3 the ;;w;; wogue uWu in :3 a blanket. 
DOLL. UwU Do, >w< an xDD thou ^w^ daw'st fow >w< thy ;;w;; heawt. ^-^ An xDD thou ÚwÚ dost, I'll :3 canvass 
uWu thee ^-^ between :3 a :33 paiw of ;;w;; sheets. 

Entew musicians 

xDD PAGE. uWu The uWu music >_> is come, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Let them play. ÚwÚ Pway, sirs. xDD Sit on x3 my OwO knyee, :33 Don. ^-^ A wascaw 
^.^ bwagging x3 swave! uWu The ;;w;; wogue ^w^ fwed from ;;w;; me ^.^ wike >_> quick-siwvew. 
DOLL. xDD I' ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ and xDD thou ÚwÚ fowwow'dst ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a :3 chuwch. ^.^ Thou 
UwU whoweson xDD wittwe >w< tidy uWu Bawthowomew >w< boaw-pig, when wiwt xDD thou OwO weave 
fighting :3 a OwO days ÚwÚ and foining :3 a nyights, ÚwÚ and x3 begin to patch x3 up ^.^ thinye 
;;w;; owd >w< body fow UwU heaven? 

OwO Entew, behind, PWINCE OwO HENWY ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ POINS disguised >_< as x3 dwawews 

>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu Peace, ÚwÚ good Doll! Do nyot speak ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ death's-head; UwU do 
nyot bid ;;w;; me remember >_< minye OwO end. 
DOLL. Siwwah, >_> what humouw's x3 the Prince UwU of? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good shallow xDD young UwU fewwow. >_> 'A ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU made :3 a ÚwÚ good 
uWu pantwew; xDD 'a ^.^ wouwd UwU ha' uWu chipp'd ^.^ bwead well. 
DOLL. ^-^ They >_> say ^-^ Poins >_> has :3 a ÚwÚ good >_< wit. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >w< He :3 a ÚwÚ good wit! ^w^ hang :3 him, ÚwÚ baboon! ÚwÚ His uWu wit's >_< as thick >_< as 
Tewksbury mustard; there's nyo ^.^ mowe conceit uWu in ^.^ him than >_> is uWu in :3 a 
mallet. 
DOLL. Why does x3 the Prince wuv ^.^ him >_> so, ^w^ then? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< Because uWu theiw UwU wegs OwO awe both of :3 a xDD bignyess, ÚwÚ and xDD 'a plays uWu at 
xDD quoits weww, ÚwÚ and ^w^ eats :33 congew ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fennyew, ÚwÚ and dwinks x3 off candwes' 
uWu ends fow :33 fwap-dwagons, ÚwÚ and :33 wides x3 the >w< wiwd ÚwÚ mawe with x3 the boys, ÚwÚ and 
>_> jumps ;;w;; upon >w< join'd-stoows, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ sweaws with :3 a ÚwÚ good gwace, ÚwÚ and ^-^ weaws 
:33 his ÚwÚ boots xDD vewy ÚwÚ smooth, ^.^ wike >w< unto x3 the xDD sign of x3 the Leg, ÚwÚ and breeds 
nyo uWu bate with :3 tewwing of >w< discweet ÚwÚ stowies; ÚwÚ and xDD such othew gambol 
faculties xDD 'a has, :3 that x3 show :3 a xDD weak ^-^ mind ÚwÚ and >w< an able ;;w;; body, fow x3 the 
which x3 the Prince ^.^ admits ^.^ him. For x3 the Prince >_< himsewf >_> is xDD such 
another; x3 the >_> weight of :3 a >_< haiw xDD wiww turn x3 the scawes ^-^ between uWu theiw 
>_< avoiwdupois. 
>w< PWINCE. Wouwd nyot ÚwÚ this ^-^ nyave of :3 a wheew uWu have :33 his OwO eaws :3 cut off? 
>w< POINS. :3 Wet's xDD beat ^.^ him >w< befowe :33 his ^-^ whowe. 
>w< PWINCE. Wook whe'er x3 the :33 withew'd :33 ewdew hath nyot :33 his poww x3 cwaw'd 
^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ pawwot. 
>w< POINS. Is >w< it nyot ;;w;; stwange :3 that ^.^ desiwe >_> shouwd UwU so UwU many years outwive 
performance? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Kiss uWu me, Doll. 
>w< PWINCE. x3 Satuwn ÚwÚ and :3 Venyus ÚwÚ this xDD yeaw uWu in conjunction! >_> What ;;w;; says x3 th' 
awmanyac to ^-^ that? 
>w< POINS. xDD And wook >w< whethew x3 the fiery >w< Twigon, :33 his ^w^ man, be nyot >_> wisping 
to :33 his xDD mastew's ;;w;; owd tabwes, :33 his note-book, :33 his OwO counsew-keepew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Thou dost UwU give ;;w;; me flattering busses. 
DOLL. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU I :3 kiss uWu thee with :3 a UwU most ^w^ constant ;;w;; heawt. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^w^ am :3 owd, UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ owd. 
DOLL. UwU I wuv uWu thee xDD bettew than UwU I wuv ;;w;; e'ew :3 a ^.^ scuwvy xDD young ;;w;; boy of 
them all. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What ^w^ stuff wiwt uWu have :3 a >w< kiwtwe UwU of? UwU I UwU shaww receive monyey :3 a 
ÚwÚ Thuwsday. >_> Shawt uWu have :3 a cap ÚwÚ to-mowwow. ^-^ A ^.^ mewwy song, x3 come. >_> 'A 
gwows late; we'll to :3 bed. :3 Thou't x3 fowget ;;w;; me when UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; gonye. 
DOLL. ^-^ By x3 my troth, x3 thou't uWu set ;;w;; me a-weeping, >w< an xDD thou say'st :3 so. 
^-^ Pwuv :3 that OwO evew UwU I :3 dwess mysewf handsome >w< tiww >w< thy wetuwn. xDD Weww, 
heawken ^-^ a' x3 th' OwO end. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; Some sack, Francis. 
PWINCE ^w^ & >w< POINS. ;;w;; Anyon, ^-^ anyon, sir. x3 [Advancing] 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu Ha! :3 a ^.^ bastawd >_< son of x3 the xDD King's? xDD And awt xDD thou nyot ^-^ Poins 
:33 his bwothew? 
>w< PWINCE. Why, xDD thou globe of x3 sinfuw :33 continyents, >_> what :3 a >w< wife dost xDD thou 
uWu wead! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ A xDD bettew than thou. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a gentweman: xDD thou awt :3 a UwU dwawew. 
>w< PWINCE. Very ^-^ twue, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and UwU I come to dwaw xDD you x3 out ^.^ by x3 the ears. 
HOSTESS. >_< O, x3 the Lord pwesewve >w< thy Grace! ^-^ By x3 my troth, wewcome to 
OwO Wondon. Now x3 the Lord ;;w;; bwess :3 that x3 sweet OwO face of ÚwÚ thinye. x3 O Jesu, OwO awe 
xDD you come from Wales? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Thou UwU whoweson ^-^ mad ÚwÚ compound of ^.^ majesty, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >w< wight 
>w< fwesh ÚwÚ and corrupt bwood, xDD thou awt x3 wewcome. 
>_> [Weanying :33 his band ;;w;; upon ^-^ DOWW] 
DOLL. How, xDD you :33 fat foow! UwU I ^w^ scown OwO you. 
>w< POINS. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ he xDD wiww UwU dwive xDD you x3 out of x3 youw xDD wevenge ÚwÚ and turn aww 
to :3 a :33 mewwiment, >_> if xDD you OwO take nyot x3 the x3 heat. 
>w< PWINCE. YOU UwU whoweson UwU candwe-minye, UwU you, >w< how uWu viwewy uWu did xDD you speak of 
;;w;; me even nyow >w< befowe ÚwÚ this OwO honyest, virtuous, ÚwÚ civiw gentwewoman! 
HOSTESS. >_> God's >_> bwessing of x3 youw ÚwÚ good :33 heawt! ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ she ;;w;; is, ^.^ by x3 my 
troth. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou hear me? 
>w< PWINCE. >_> Yea; ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU knyew uWu me, >_< as xDD you uWu did when xDD you wan OwO away ^.^ by 
:33 Gadshiww. >_> You UwU knyew UwU I UwU was uWu at x3 youw back, ÚwÚ and ^-^ spoke >w< it on OwO puwpose to 
>_> twy x3 my OwO patience. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Nyo, no, ^.^ nyo; nyot so; UwU I uWu did nyot think xDD thou >w< wast within 
;;w;; heawing. 
>w< PWINCE. UwU I UwU shaww UwU dwive xDD you xDD then to x3 confess x3 the ^.^ wiwfuw ^.^ abuse, ÚwÚ and 
xDD then UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< how to handle OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. No ^.^ abuse, Hal, ^.^ o' >_< minye honour; nyo ^-^ abuse. 
>w< PWINCE. >_> Nyot- to OwO dispwaise uWu me, ÚwÚ and caww ;;w;; me pander, ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; bwead-chippew, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot xDD what! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. No ^.^ abuse, >_< Haw. 
>w< POINS. No abuse! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. No ^.^ abuse, >_> Nyed, :33 i' x3 th' wowwd; xDD honyest >_> Nyed, none. UwU I 
^w^ dispwais'd ^.^ him >w< befowe x3 the wicked- :3 that x3 the wicked ^w^ might nyot faww 
uWu in wuv with ÚwÚ thee; uWu in which >_< doing, UwU I uWu have donye x3 the ÚwÚ pawt of :3 a 
careful :33 fwiend ÚwÚ and :3 a true ;;w;; subject; ÚwÚ and >w< thy >w< fathew >_> is to UwU give ;;w;; me 
thanks fow :3 it. No ^.^ abuse, Hal; nyonye, >_> Nyed, x3 nyonye; no, ^w^ faith, boys, 
none. 
>w< PWINCE. xDD See now, >w< whethew puwe feaw ÚwÚ and xDD entiwe cowardice xDD doth nyot 
>_< make uWu thee wrong ÚwÚ this virtuous :33 gentwewoman to ^-^ cwose with us? Is 
^.^ she of x3 the UwU wicked? Is ^.^ thinye hostess OwO hewe of x3 the UwU wicked? :33 Ow >_> is >w< thy 
;;w;; boy of x3 the UwU wicked? :33 Ow xDD honyest xDD Bawdowph, x3 whose ^.^ zeaw buwns uWu in :33 his 
nose, of x3 the UwU wicked? 
>w< POINS. :3 Answew, xDD thou >_< dead UwU ewm, answer. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu The >_< fiend hath pwick'd down Bardolph iwwecuvwabwe; ÚwÚ and 
:33 his OwO face >_> is Lucifer's ;;w;; pwivy-kitchen, :3 whewe ^.^ he xDD doth >_< nyothing >_> but 
:3 woast x3 mawt-wowms. For x3 the ^w^ boy- there >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ angew about him; 
>_> but x3 the ^.^ deviw outbids ^.^ him UwU too. 
>w< PWINCE. For x3 the :3 women? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. For one of OwO them- ^w^ she's uWu in heww already, ÚwÚ and buwns poor 
souws. For x3 th' other- UwU I >_> owe her ;;w;; monyey; ÚwÚ and >w< whethew ^.^ she be damn'd 
fow :3 that, UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
HOSTESS. :3 Nyo, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Nyo, UwU I think xDD thou awt x3 nyot; UwU I think xDD thou awt ^.^ quit fow x3 that. 
OwO Mawwy, there >_> is anyothew indictment ;;w;; upon uWu thee fow suffering >w< fwesh 
to be eaten uWu in >w< thy house, :33 contwawy to x3 the UwU waw; fow x3 the which UwU I 
think xDD thou wiwt UwU howw. 
HOSTESS. All :3 vict'wews UwU do :3 so. x3 What's :3 a UwU joint of UwU mutton ow >w< two uWu in :3 a 
whole ^-^ Went? 
>w< PWINCE. >_< You, gentlewoman- 
DOLL. >_> What ;;w;; says x3 youw Gwace? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ÚwÚ His Gwace ;;w;; says :3 that which :33 his >w< fwesh ÚwÚ webews x3 against. 
xDD [Knyocking ;;w;; within] 
HOSTESS. Who ÚwÚ knyocks UwU so ÚwÚ woud uWu at doow? Wook to x3 th' doow thewe, 
Francis. 

Entew ÚwÚ PETO 

>w< PWINCE. Peto, >w< how >_< nyow! >_> What nyews? 
:33 PETO. uWu The ^w^ King x3 youw >w< fathew >_> is uWu at :3 Westminstew; 
xDD And there OwO awe ÚwÚ twenty xDD weak ÚwÚ and weawied :3 posts 
:3 Come from x3 the >w< nyowth; ÚwÚ and >_< as UwU I ^-^ came :3 awong 
UwU I >w< met ÚwÚ and overtook :3 a ^.^ dozen ^w^ captains, 
Bare-headed, :3 sweating, knocking uWu at x3 the xDD tavewns, 
xDD And asking every one fow Sir John >w< Fawstaff. 
>w< PWINCE. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, x3 Poins, UwU I x3 feew ;;w;; me much to uWu bwame 
^w^ So idly to uWu pwofanye x3 the >_< pwecious time, 
x3 When UwU tempest of UwU commotion, ^.^ wike x3 the :3 south, 
Bownye with black vapour, xDD doth x3 begin to :3 mewt 
xDD And >_< dwop ;;w;; upon UwU ouw OwO bawe OwO unyawmed :33 heads. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 my xDD swowd ÚwÚ and OwO cwoak. :33 Fawstaff, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 

Exeunt PWINCE, POINS, uWu PETO, ÚwÚ and ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

>_> FAWSTAFF. Now x3 comes uWu in x3 the ^w^ sweetest mowsew of x3 the night, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we 
^w^ must hence, ÚwÚ and OwO weave >w< it x3 unpick'd. xDD [Knyocking ;;w;; within] uWu Mowe 
knocking uWu at x3 the >w< doow! 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

How >_< nyow! x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
BARDOLPH. >_> You ^w^ must OwO away to xDD couwt, ^w^ siw, ^-^ pwesentwy; 
^-^ A ^.^ dozen ^.^ captains xDD stay uWu at doow fow OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 [To x3 the PAGE]. xDD Pay x3 the uWu musicians, sirrah.- UwU Faweweww, 
ÚwÚ hostess; farewell, Doll. >_> You see, x3 my ÚwÚ good :33 wenches, >w< how ;;w;; men of 
merit OwO awe >_< sought :3 aftew; x3 the UwU undesewvew OwO may sweep, when x3 the x3 man of 
uWu action >_> is ^w^ caww'd :3 on. UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good wenches. ;;w;; If UwU I be nyot sent 
OwO away ÚwÚ post, UwU I xDD wiww >_> see xDD you again ere UwU I ÚwÚ go. 
DOLL. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_< speak. ;;w;; If x3 my >_< heawt be nyot ready to >w< buwst! 
xDD Weww, x3 sweet Jack, uWu have :3 a :3 cawe of thysewf. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU Faweweww, farewell. 
Exeunt FALSTAFF ÚwÚ and ^.^ BAWDOWPH 
HOSTESS. xDD Weww, ^-^ fawe uWu thee well. UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ knyown uWu thee these UwU twenty-nyinye 
years, come >_> peascod-time; >_> but >w< an ^-^ honyestew ÚwÚ and twuew-heawted x3 man 
uWu -weww ^-^ fawe uWu thee well. 
BARDOLPH. :3 [ ;;w;; Within] Mistress Teawsheet! 
HOSTESS. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
BARDOLPH. :3 [ ;;w;; Within] x3 Bid Mistress >_< Teawsheet come to x3 my master. 
HOSTESS. >_< O, >w< wun Doww, uWu wun, uWu wun, ÚwÚ good >w< Come. :33 [To ÚwÚ BAWDOWPH] :33 She 
x3 comes ^-^ bwubbew'd.- Yea, xDD wiww xDD you come, uWu Doww? Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
UwU Westminstew. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING uWu in :33 his nightgown, with :3 a page 

>w< KING. Go caww x3 the Earls of Surrey ÚwÚ and of ÚwÚ Wawwick; 
But, ere ;;w;; they come, bid them ^w^ o'ew-wead these x3 wettews 
xDD And weww OwO considew of OwO them. ^-^ Make ÚwÚ good ;;w;; speed. uWu Exit page 
How UwU many thousands of x3 my poowest subjects 
^w^ Awe uWu at ÚwÚ this >_> houw asleep! x3 O sweep, x3 O ^-^ gentwe sweep, 
Nyatuwe's soft xDD nyuwse, >w< how uWu have UwU I ÚwÚ fwightenyed ÚwÚ thee, 
:33 That xDD thou nyo ^.^ mowe xDD wiww >w< weigh x3 my >_> eyewids ;;w;; down, 
xDD And ÚwÚ steep x3 my :33 senses uWu in :33 fowgetfuwnyess? 
Why UwU wathew, sweep, wiest xDD thou uWu in >w< smoky xDD cwibs, 
>_> Upon :33 unyeasy pawwets xDD stwetching ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And UwU hush'd with ^-^ buzzing night-flies to >w< thy >_> swumbew, 
Than uWu in x3 the ;;w;; pewfum'd ^.^ chambews of x3 the ^.^ gweat, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the canyopies of x3 costwy state, 
xDD And UwU wuww'd with >_> sound of ^w^ sweetest melody? 
x3 O xDD thou dull ^.^ god, >w< why wiest xDD thou with x3 the ^-^ viwe 
^w^ In woathsome :3 beds, ÚwÚ and ^w^ weav'st x3 the >_> kingwy UwU couch 
^-^ A watch-case ow :3 a ^w^ common 'larum-bell? 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD high ÚwÚ and ^-^ giddy :3 mast 
Seal x3 up x3 the >w< ship-boy's ^w^ eyes, ÚwÚ and OwO wock :33 his brains 
^w^ In >_> cwadwe of x3 the wude >_> impewious ^-^ suwge, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the xDD visitation of x3 the winds, 
Who OwO take x3 the ruffian billows ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ top, 
UwU Cuwwing uWu theiw monstwous >_< heads, ÚwÚ and >_< hanging them 
With ^w^ deafing ^-^ cwamouw uWu in x3 the slippery >_> cwouds, 
:33 That with x3 the huwwy :33 death itsewf ;;w;; awakes? 
ÚwÚ Canst UwU thou, x3 O :33 pawtiaw sweep, UwU give >w< thy wepose 
;;w;; To x3 the wet >_> sea-boy uWu in >w< an >_> houw UwU so >_> wude; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the cawmest ÚwÚ and UwU most xDD stiwwest night, 
With aww OwO appwiances ÚwÚ and means to UwU boot, 
>w< Deny >w< it to :3 a UwU king? Then, ^w^ happy low, >_< wie ^-^ down! 
:33 Unyeasy wies x3 the >_> head :3 that ^-^ weaws :3 a crown. 

Entew ^w^ WAWWICK ÚwÚ and Surrey 

WARWICK. xDD Many ÚwÚ good ^.^ mowwows to x3 youw Majesty! 
>w< KING. Is >w< it ÚwÚ good morrow, lords? 
WARWICK. 'Tis one o'clock, ÚwÚ and past. 
>w< KING. Why >w< then, ÚwÚ good mowwow to xDD you all, x3 my lords. 
:3 Have xDD you ^w^ wead ^-^ o'ew x3 the x3 wettews :3 that UwU I sent you? 
WARWICK. We have, x3 my OwO wiege. 
>w< KING. UwU Then xDD you >_> pewceive x3 the >w< body of UwU ouw ^w^ kingdom 
How fouw >w< it is; >_> what rank ^-^ diseases xDD gwow, 
xDD And with >_> what uWu dangew, nyeaw x3 the >_< heawt of :3 it. 
WARWICK. ^.^ It >_> is >_> but >_< as :3 a >w< body yet OwO distempewed; 
>_< Which to :33 his xDD fowmew ÚwÚ stwength OwO may be :3 westowed 
With ÚwÚ good advice ÚwÚ and xDD wittwe ÚwÚ medicinye. 
OwO My Lord ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand xDD wiww >w< soon be OwO coow'd. 
>w< KING. x3 O uWu God! :3 that one ^w^ might ^w^ wead x3 the ^w^ book of fate, 
xDD And >_> see x3 the :3 wevowution of x3 the times 
^-^ Make ^-^ mountains UwU wevew, ÚwÚ and x3 the continent, 
:33 Weawy of ;;w;; sowid ;;w;; fiwmnyess, :3 mewt itsewf 
^.^ Into x3 the sea; ÚwÚ and othew times to >_> see 
uWu The xDD beachy ^-^ giwdwe of x3 the xDD ocean 
Too uWu wide fow >_< Nyeptunye's >w< hips; >w< how chances >w< mock, 
xDD And :33 changes ^w^ fiww x3 the >w< cup of ÚwÚ awtewation 
With divers ÚwÚ wiquows! >_< O, >_> if ÚwÚ this :3 wewe uWu seen, 
uWu The UwU happiest youth, >w< viewing :33 his ^w^ pwogwess :33 thwough, 
>_> What perils past, >_> what cwosses to ^.^ ensue, 
Wouwd shut x3 the ^w^ book ÚwÚ and sit ^.^ him down ÚwÚ and die. 
'Tis nyot ;;w;; ten years >_> gonye 
Since Richard ÚwÚ and >_> Nyowthumbewwand, great OwO fwiends, 
Did >_> feast together, ÚwÚ and uWu in >w< two years ÚwÚ aftew 
^.^ Wewe ;;w;; they uWu at waws. ^.^ It >_> is >_> but eight years xDD since 
This ^-^ Pewcy UwU was x3 the x3 man ÚwÚ nyeawest x3 my ^.^ souw; 
Who ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew toil'd uWu in x3 my affairs 
xDD And laid :33 his wuv ÚwÚ and >w< wife :33 undew x3 my >w< foot; 
Yea, fow x3 my ^w^ sake, even to x3 the eyes of Richard 
Gave ^.^ him xDD defiance. OwO But which of xDD you UwU was by- 
:33 [To >_> WAWWICK] >_< You, xDD cousin ÚwÚ Nyeviw, >_< as UwU I OwO may :3 wemembew- 
x3 When ^.^ Wichawd, with :33 his ^w^ eye >_< bwim full of ^-^ teaws, 
UwU Then ^.^ check'd ÚwÚ and :33 wated ^.^ by >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
Did speak these wowds, nyow ^.^ pwov'd :3 a :3 pwophecy? 
'Northumberland, xDD thou ladder ^.^ by x3 the which 
OwO My xDD cousin :3 Bowingbwoke >_> ascends x3 my thwonye'- 
;;w;; Though >w< then, ^w^ God ;;w;; knyows, UwU I xDD had nyo xDD such :3 intent 
OwO But :3 that ;;w;; nyecessity UwU so uWu bow'd x3 the >w< state 
:33 That UwU I ÚwÚ and :33 gweatnyess :3 wewe OwO compeww'd to >w< kiss- 
'The time UwU shaww come'- OwO thus uWu did ^.^ he ;;w;; fowwow OwO it- 
'The time xDD wiww come :3 that fouw ^w^ sin, gathewing head, 
Shall bweak x3 into uWu cowwuption' UwU so OwO went ;;w;; on, 
^-^ Fowetewwing ÚwÚ this same ÚwÚ time's condition 
xDD And x3 the OwO division of UwU ouw amity. 
WARWICK. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a :33 histowy uWu in aww men's lives, 
x3 Figuwing x3 the natures of x3 the times ^.^ deceas'd; 
uWu The which UwU obsewv'd, :3 a x3 man OwO may pwophesy, 
With :3 a nyeaw >_< aim, of x3 the :33 main chance of ^.^ things 
;;w;; As yet nyot come to :3 wife, who uWu in uWu theiw >w< seeds 
xDD And xDD weak beginning >_< wie UwU intweasuwed. 
>w< Such ^.^ things :33 become x3 the x3 hatch ÚwÚ and brood of time; 
^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 the ^.^ nyecessawy >_< fowm of uWu this, 
^w^ King Richard ^w^ might >w< cweate :3 a :3 pewfect guess 
:33 That great >_> Nyowthumbewwand, xDD then UwU fawse to :3 him, 
Wouwd of :3 that seed gwow to :3 a :33 gweatew >w< fawsenyess; 
>_< Which >_> shouwd nyot find :3 a x3 gwound to ^.^ woot ;;w;; upon 
OwO Unwess on OwO you. 
>w< KING. ^w^ Awe these ^.^ things xDD then >w< nyecessities? 
UwU Then wet >_> us :3 meet them ^.^ wike uWu nyecessities; 
xDD And :3 that same ;;w;; wowd even nyow x3 cwies x3 out on >_> us. 
^-^ They >_> say x3 the >_> Bishop ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand 
^w^ Awe :33 fifty thousand strong. 
WARWICK. ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be, x3 my OwO wowd. 
:3 Wumouw xDD doth double, ^.^ wike x3 the uWu voice ÚwÚ and ^-^ echo, 
uWu The xDD nyumbews of x3 the ;;w;; feawed. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw Gwace 
;;w;; To OwO go to :3 bed. >_> Upon x3 my x3 souw, x3 my uWu wowd, 
uWu The ÚwÚ powews :3 that xDD you xDD awweady uWu have sent fowth 
Shall ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ this >w< pwize uWu in xDD vewy easily. 
;;w;; To uWu comfowt xDD you x3 the >_> mowe, UwU I uWu have weceiv'd 
^-^ A xDD cewtain uWu instance :3 that ;;w;; Gwendowew >_> is uWu dead. 
uWu Youw ;;w;; Majesty hath :33 been ÚwÚ this fortnight iww; 
xDD And these ;;w;; unseasonyed >_> houws ^.^ pewfowce ^w^ must >_< ad 
uWu Unto x3 youw sicknyess. 
>w< KING. UwU I xDD wiww OwO take x3 youw :3 counsew. 
^.^ And, :3 wewe these inward UwU waws >_> once x3 out of uWu hand, 
We :3 wouwd, uWu deaw wowds, >w< unto x3 the Holy >_< Wand. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Gloucestershire. ^.^ Befowe x3 Justice, uWu SHAWWOW'S ;;w;; house 

Entew UwU SHAWWOW ÚwÚ and x3 SIWENCE, meeting; UwU MOUWDY, SHADOW, WART, FEEBLE, uWu BUWWCAWF, 
ÚwÚ and :3 sewvants x3 behind 

x3 SHAWWOW. :3 Come ;;w;; on, come ;;w;; on, come xDD on; UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand, siw; UwU give ;;w;; me 
x3 youw uWu hand, sir. ^-^ An early stirrer, ^.^ by x3 the wood! xDD And >w< how xDD doth x3 my 
ÚwÚ good xDD cousin ÚwÚ Siwence? 
^.^ SIWENCE. ^-^ Good morrow, ÚwÚ good xDD cousin :3 Shawwow. 
x3 SHAWWOW. xDD And >w< how xDD doth x3 my OwO cousin, x3 youw ;;w;; bed-fewwow? ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_> faiwest 
daughter ÚwÚ and >_> minye, x3 my ^w^ god-daughtew >_> Ewwen? 
^.^ SIWENCE. ÚwÚ Awas, :3 a black :33 ousew, xDD cousin Shawwow! 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^-^ By >w< yea ÚwÚ and no, sir. UwU I dawe >_> say x3 my xDD cousin ;;w;; Wiwwiam >_> is :33 become 
:3 a ÚwÚ good scholar; ^.^ he >_> is uWu at Oxford still, >_> is ^.^ he ^w^ nyot? 
^.^ SIWENCE. >w< Indeed, ^w^ siw, to x3 my OwO cost. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >_> 'A ;;w;; must, >w< then, to x3 the ^-^ Inns ^.^ o' UwU Couwt >w< showtwy. UwU I UwU was >_> once of 
Clement's :33 Inn; :3 whewe UwU I think ;;w;; they xDD wiww tawk of ^-^ mad >_< Shawwow >_> yet. 
^.^ SIWENCE. >_> You :3 wewe ^w^ caww'd >_> 'wusty Shallow' >w< then, :33 cousin. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^-^ By x3 the UwU mass, UwU I UwU was ^w^ caww'd >_< anything; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have donye 
;;w;; anything ÚwÚ indeed :3 too, ÚwÚ and roundly UwU too. >_> Thewe UwU was I, ÚwÚ and xDD wittwe 
John xDD Doit of >_< Staffowdshiwe, ÚwÚ and black ^w^ Geowge :3 Bawnyes, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Fwancis 
x3 Pickbonye, ÚwÚ and Will Squele :3 a Cotsowe >_> man- xDD you xDD had nyot fouw xDD such 
swinge-bucklers uWu in aww x3 the ^-^ Inns of UwU Couwt ;;w;; again. xDD And UwU I OwO may >_> say to 
xDD you ^.^ we UwU knyew :3 whewe x3 the ÚwÚ bonya-wobas uWu wewe, ÚwÚ and xDD had x3 the best of them 
aww uWu at :33 commandment. UwU Then UwU was x3 Jack :33 Fawstaff, nyow Sir John, ^-^ boy, 
ÚwÚ and page to Thomas Mowbray, >w< Duke of x3 Nyowfowk. 
^.^ SIWENCE. This Sir John, OwO cousin, :3 that x3 comes ÚwÚ hithew :3 anyon about 
>w< sowdiews? 
x3 SHAWWOW. uWu The same Sir John, x3 the xDD vewy :33 same. UwU I >_> see ^.^ him bweak 
Scoggin's >_> head uWu at x3 the court >_< gate, when xDD 'a UwU was :3 a UwU cwack nyot OwO thus 
ÚwÚ high; ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD vewy same day uWu did UwU I >w< fight with one >w< Sampson 
Stockfish, :3 a xDD fwuitewew, x3 behind Gway's Inn. Jesu, Jesu, x3 the ^-^ mad 
OwO days :3 that UwU I uWu have ^w^ spent! ÚwÚ and to >_> see >w< how UwU many of x3 my ;;w;; owd 
>_< acquaintance OwO awe ÚwÚ dead! 
^.^ SIWENCE. We UwU shaww aww follow, :33 cousin. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU Cewtain, UwU 'tis ^-^ cewtain; xDD vewy x3 suwe, xDD vewy >_> suwe. Death, >_< as x3 the 
Psawmist saith, >_> is xDD cewtain to aww; aww UwU shaww die. How :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 yoke 
of bullocks uWu at Stamfowd uWu faiw? 
^.^ SIWENCE. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU I UwU was nyot :33 thewe. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >_> Death >_> is cewtain. Is ;;w;; owd xDD Doubwe of x3 youw :33 town UwU wiving :33 yet? 
^.^ SIWENCE. ^.^ Dead, sir. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Jesu, Jesu, ÚwÚ dead! >w< dwew :3 a ÚwÚ good ^w^ bow; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dead! >_> 'A UwU shot :3 a 
OwO finye >_> shoot. John :3 a Gaunt xDD wuvd ^.^ him weww, ÚwÚ and >_> betted much monyey on 
:33 his >_> head. xDD Dead! >_> 'A ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^-^ cwapp'd :33 i' x3 th' cwout uWu at >_< twewve 
scowe, ÚwÚ and cawwied xDD you :3 a forehand >w< shaft :3 a ^.^ fouwteen ÚwÚ and ^.^ fouwteen 
ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD hawf, :3 that >w< it ^.^ wouwd uWu have donye :3 a :33 man's >_< heawt ÚwÚ good to ^-^ see. 
How :3 a ÚwÚ scowe of ^-^ ewes ^.^ nyow? 
^.^ SIWENCE. uWu Theweaftew >_< as ;;w;; they ^-^ be- :3 a ÚwÚ scowe of ÚwÚ good ^-^ ewes OwO may be ^.^ wowth 
;;w;; ten ÚwÚ pounds. 
x3 SHAWWOW. xDD And >_> is ;;w;; owd xDD Doubwe dead? 

Entew uWu BAWDOWPH, ÚwÚ and one with ^.^ him 

^.^ SIWENCE. :3 Hewe come >w< two of Sir John >_< Fawstaffs men, >_< as UwU I UwU think. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^-^ Good morrow, xDD honyest >_< gentwemen. 
BARDOLPH. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, which >_> is Justice >_< Shawwow? 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU I ^w^ am Robert Shallow, ^w^ siw, :3 a poor :33 esquiwe of ÚwÚ this county, 
ÚwÚ and one of x3 the >_< King's justices of x3 the peace. >_> What >_> is x3 youw ÚwÚ good 
:3 pweasuwe with me? 
BARDOLPH. OwO My ;;w;; captain, ^w^ siw, uWu commends ^.^ him to uWu you; x3 my ;;w;; captain, Sir 
John Falstaff- :3 a ;;w;; taww gentweman, ^.^ by ^.^ heaven, ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU most OwO gawwant 
leader. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< He greets ;;w;; me weww, siw; UwU I UwU knyew ^.^ him :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 back-swowd man. 
How xDD doth x3 the ÚwÚ good knyight? ^-^ May UwU I ^w^ ask >w< how x3 my uWu wady :33 his >w< wife doth? 
BARDOLPH. UwU Siw, ;;w;; pawdon; :3 a soldier >_> is xDD bettew accommodated than with :3 a 
x3 wife. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ It >_> is weww said, uWu in ^w^ faith, siw; ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is weww uWu said ÚwÚ indeed 
UwU too. >_< 'Bettew ÚwÚ accommodated!' ^.^ It >_> is good; >w< yea, :33 indeed, >_> is :3 it. ^-^ Good 
OwO phwases OwO awe UwU suwewy, ÚwÚ and OwO evew uWu wewe, xDD vewy commendabwe. 
:33 'Accommodated!' ^.^ It x3 comes of accommodo. Very good; :3 a ÚwÚ good phrase. 
BARDOLPH. Pawdon, siw; UwU I uWu have heard x3 the OwO wowd. ;;w;; 'Phwase' caww xDD you :33 it? 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot x3 the ÚwÚ phwase; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ maintain x3 the ;;w;; wowd 
with x3 my xDD swowd to be :3 a uWu sowdiew-wike word, ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; wowd of :33 exceeding 
ÚwÚ good >_> command, ^.^ by UwU heaven. :33 Accommodated: :3 that ;;w;; is, when :3 a x3 man ;;w;; is, >_< as 
;;w;; they say, ;;w;; accommodated; or, when :3 a x3 man >_> is being-wheweby xDD 'a OwO may be 
xDD thought to be ;;w;; accommodated; which >_> is >w< an :3 excewwent >_> thing. 

Entew FALSTAFF 

x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ It >_> is xDD vewy ;;w;; just. x3 Wook, OwO hewe x3 comes ÚwÚ good Sir OwO John. Give ;;w;; me 
x3 youw ÚwÚ good uWu hand, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw ^w^ wowship's ÚwÚ good >w< hand. ^-^ By x3 my troth, 
xDD you ^.^ wike weww ÚwÚ and UwU beaw x3 youw years xDD vewy well. Welcome, ÚwÚ good Sir 
OwO John. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see xDD you weww, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew Robert :3 Shawwow. 
>_< Mastew ^.^ Suwecawd, >_< as UwU I x3 think? 
x3 SHAWWOW. :3 Nyo, Sir John; >w< it >_> is x3 my xDD cousin uWu Siwence, uWu in OwO commission with 
x3 me. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew uWu Siwence, >w< it weww befits xDD you >_> shouwd be of x3 the 
peace. 
^.^ SIWENCE. uWu Youw ÚwÚ good :33 wowship >_> is x3 wewcome. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu Fie! ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 hot weather. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, uWu have xDD you x3 pwovided ;;w;; me 
OwO hewe half :3 a ^.^ dozen sufficient men? 
x3 SHAWWOW. OwO Mawwy, uWu have :33 we, sir. Will xDD you >w< sit? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Let ;;w;; me >_> see ÚwÚ them, UwU I :33 beseech OwO you. 
x3 SHAWWOW. :3 Whewe's x3 the ÚwÚ woww? :3 Whewe's x3 the ÚwÚ woww? :3 Whewe's x3 the ÚwÚ woww? Let 
;;w;; me see, wet ;;w;; me see, wet ;;w;; me ^-^ see. So, >_> so, >_> so, OwO so,- >_> so, OwO so- >w< yea, 
marry, sir. :33 Wafe Mouwdy! Let them appeaw >_< as UwU I call; wet them UwU do 
>_> so, wet them UwU do :3 so. Let ;;w;; me see; :3 whewe >_> is Mouldy? 
MOUWDY. Here, UwU an't uWu pwease OwO you. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >_> What think UwU you, Sir ^w^ John? ^-^ A uWu good-wimb'd fellow; >_> young, 
:33 stwong, ÚwÚ and of ÚwÚ good fwiends. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Is >w< thy xDD nyame Mouldy? 
MOUWDY. Yea, UwU an't uWu pwease OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. 'Tis x3 the ^.^ mowe time xDD thou OwO wewt :33 us'd. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< Ha, ha, :33 ha! UwU most ÚwÚ excewwent, :33 i' >_< faith! ^w^ Things :3 that OwO awe 
>_< mouwdy ^.^ wack ÚwÚ use. Very singular >w< good! ^w^ In ^w^ faith, weww said, Sir 
John; xDD vewy weww UwU said. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Pwick ^.^ him. 
MOUWDY. UwU I UwU was pwick'd weww enough x3 befowe, >w< an xDD you couwd uWu have wet ;;w;; me 
>_< awonye. OwO My ;;w;; owd :3 dame xDD wiww be ÚwÚ undonye nyow fow one to UwU do her x3 husbandwy 
ÚwÚ and her :33 dwudgewy. >_> You >_< nyeed nyot to uWu have pwick'd OwO me; there OwO awe 
othew ;;w;; men fitter to OwO go x3 out than ^.^ I. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Go >w< to; ÚwÚ peace, UwU Mouwdy; xDD you UwU shaww ÚwÚ go. Mouwdy, >w< it >_> is time 
xDD you :3 wewe :33 spent. 
MOUWDY. ÚwÚ Spent! 
x3 SHAWWOW. uWu Peace, fewwow, :3 peace; stand >w< aside; ^.^ knyow xDD you :3 whewe xDD you are? 
For x3 th' ÚwÚ othew, Sir uWu John- wet ;;w;; me ^-^ see. UwU Simon xDD Shadow! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Yea, marry, wet ;;w;; me uWu have ^.^ him to sit ;;w;; undew. He's ^.^ wike to be 
:3 a UwU cowd OwO sowdiew. 
x3 SHAWWOW. :3 Whewe's Shadow? 
:3 SHADOW. Here, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Shadow, x3 whose >_< son awt thou? 
:3 SHADOW. OwO My ;;w;; mothew's x3 son, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. x3 Thy ;;w;; mothew's ^w^ son! Wike >_< enyough; ÚwÚ and >w< thy father's ^.^ shadow. 
^w^ So x3 the >_< son of x3 the >_< femawe >_> is x3 the :3 shadow of x3 the ;;w;; mawe. ^.^ It >_> is often 
UwU so :33 indeed; >_> but much of x3 the father's ;;w;; substance! 
x3 SHAWWOW. Do xDD you ^.^ wike :3 him, Sir ^w^ John? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >w< Shadow xDD wiww serve fow summew. Pwick him; fow ^.^ we uWu have :3 a 
^w^ nyumbew of ^-^ shadows ^w^ fiww x3 up x3 the muster-book. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Thomas ;;w;; Wawt! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Whewe's uWu he? 
;;w;; WAWT. Here, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Is >w< thy xDD nyame Wart? 
;;w;; WAWT. Yea, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a xDD vewy ^-^ wagged ;;w;; wawt. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Shall UwU I uWu pwick :3 him, Sir ^w^ John? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ It :3 wewe supewfwuous; fow :33 his apparel >_> is buiwt ;;w;; upon :33 his 
back, ÚwÚ and x3 the whole fwame >w< stands ;;w;; upon pins. Pwick ^.^ him nyo more. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< Ha, ha, :33 ha! >_> You ^.^ can UwU do :33 it, siw; xDD you ^.^ can UwU do :3 it. UwU I ÚwÚ commend 
xDD you well. ^-^ Fwancis UwU Feebwe! 
^.^ FEEBWE. Here, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What OwO twade awt UwU thou, xDD Feebwe? 
^.^ FEEBWE. ^-^ A xDD woman's :33 taiwow, sir. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Shall UwU I uWu pwick :3 him, UwU siw? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> You ;;w;; may; >_> but >_> if ^.^ he xDD had :33 been :3 a :33 man's :33 taiwow, >w< he'd UwU ha' 
pwick'd OwO you. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou >_< make >_< as UwU many holes uWu in >w< an ÚwÚ enyemy's ÚwÚ battwe >_< as 
xDD thou x3 hast donye uWu in :3 a xDD woman's petticoat? 
^.^ FEEBWE. UwU I xDD wiww UwU do x3 my ÚwÚ good :33 wiww, siw; xDD you ^.^ can uWu have nyo more. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Weww said, ÚwÚ good xDD woman's tailor! weww said, xDD couwageous 
UwU Feebwe! ^.^ Thou wiwt be >_< as uWu vawiant >_< as x3 the wrathful ^-^ duv ow UwU most 
:33 magnyanyimous :33 mouse. Pwick x3 the xDD woman's tailor- weww, >_< Mastew 
Shallow, >w< deep, >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. 
^.^ FEEBWE. UwU I ^.^ wouwd Wart ^w^ might uWu have >w< gonye, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou OwO wewt :3 a :33 man's :33 taiwow, :3 that xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst mend 
^.^ him ÚwÚ and >_< make ^.^ him ;;w;; fit to ÚwÚ go. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot put ^.^ him to :3 a >_> pwivate 
sowdiew, :3 that >_> is x3 the weadew of UwU so UwU many :33 thousands. Let :3 that 
:3 suffice, UwU most forcible xDD Feebwe. 
^.^ FEEBWE. ^.^ It UwU shaww :3 suffice, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^w^ am bound to ÚwÚ thee, reverend xDD Feebwe. Who >_> is ;;w;; nyext? 
x3 SHAWWOW. Petew Bullcalf ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; gween! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Yea, marry, >_> wet's >_> see Bullcalf. 
x3 BUWWCAWF. Here, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Fowe :33 God, :3 a ÚwÚ wikewy xDD fewwow! ^.^ Come, uWu pwick ;;w;; me Bullcalf >w< tiww 
^.^ he roar ;;w;; again. 
x3 BUWWCAWF. x3 O :3 Wowd! ÚwÚ good x3 my ;;w;; wowd UwU captain- 
>_> FAWSTAFF. What, dost xDD thou roar >w< befowe xDD thou awt UwU pwick'd? 
x3 BUWWCAWF. x3 O Wowd, sir! UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ;;w;; diseased man. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What ÚwÚ disease x3 hast thou? 
x3 BUWWCAWF. ^-^ A UwU whoweson >_< cowd, ^w^ siw, :3 a UwU cough, ^w^ siw, which UwU I caught with 
ringing uWu in x3 the >_< King's affairs ;;w;; upon :33 his ;;w;; cowonyation ^-^ day, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Come, xDD thou shalt OwO go to x3 the UwU waws uWu in :3 a xDD gown. We xDD wiww uWu have 
OwO away >w< thy xDD cowd; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww OwO take xDD such order :3 that >w< thy ^w^ fwiends UwU shaww 
OwO wing fow thee. Is OwO hewe ÚwÚ aww? 
x3 SHAWWOW. :3 Hewe >_> is >w< two ^.^ mowe ^w^ caww'd than x3 youw nyumbew. >_> You ^w^ must uWu have 
>_> but fouw UwU hewe, siw; ÚwÚ and >_> so, UwU I pray UwU you, OwO go uWu in with ;;w;; me to uWu dinnyew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Come, UwU I xDD wiww OwO go ÚwÚ dwink with UwU you, >_> but UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ tawwy 
uWu dinnyew. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see UwU you, ^.^ by x3 my troth, >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >_< O, Sir John, UwU do xDD you remember xDD since ^.^ we uWu way aww >w< nyight uWu in x3 the 
windmill uWu in Saint George's ÚwÚ Fiewd? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. No ^.^ mowe of :3 that, >_< Mastew Shallow, nyo ^.^ mowe of x3 that. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< Ha, uWu 'twas :3 a ^.^ mewwy OwO nyight. xDD And >_> is ^w^ Janye Nightwork ^.^ awive? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 She lives, >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. 
x3 SHAWWOW. :33 She >_< nyevew couwd OwO away with x3 me. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Nyevew, x3 nyevew; ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd awways >_> say ^.^ she couwd nyot abide 
>_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^-^ By x3 the UwU mass, UwU I couwd ÚwÚ angew her to x3 th' ;;w;; heawt. :33 She UwU was xDD then 
:3 a bona-roba. ^-^ Doth ^.^ she howd her UwU own ^.^ weww? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^w^ Owd, :3 owd, >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Nyay, ^.^ she ^w^ must be uWu owd; ^.^ she ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but be uWu owd; 
xDD cewtain ^w^ she's uWu owd; ÚwÚ and xDD had Wobin uWu Nyightwowk, ^.^ by ;;w;; owd uWu Nyightwowk, 
>w< befowe UwU I ^-^ came to Clement's Inn. 
^.^ SIWENCE. >w< That's xDD fifty-five xDD yeaw ago. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< Ha, xDD cousin uWu Siwence, :3 that xDD thou >w< hadst :3 seen :3 that :3 that ÚwÚ this 
knight ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have ^w^ seen! >w< Ha, Sir John, uWu said UwU I ^.^ weww? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. We uWu have heard x3 the chimes uWu at midnight, >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. 
x3 SHAWWOW. :33 That ^.^ we have, :3 that ^.^ we have, :3 that ^.^ we uWu have; uWu in ^w^ faith, Sir 
John, ^.^ we :3 have. Our watchwowd UwU was 'Hem, >_> boys!' ^.^ Come, >_> wet's to 
uWu dinnyew; come, >_> wet's to uWu dinnyew. Jesus, x3 the OwO days :3 that ^.^ we uWu have ^w^ seen! 
^.^ Come, x3 come. 
Exeunt FALSTAFF ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ JUSTICES 
x3 BUWWCAWF. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew Corporate xDD Bawdowph, stand x3 my fwiend; ÚwÚ and 
hewe's fouw ÚwÚ Hawwy ;;w;; ten shiwwings uWu in OwO Fwench :3 cwowns fow OwO you. ^w^ In xDD vewy 
truth, ^w^ siw, UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief be uWu hang'd, ^w^ siw, >_< as ÚwÚ go. xDD And ^w^ yet, fow 
>_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, ^w^ siw, UwU I UwU do nyot ;;w;; cawe; >_> but rather uWu because UwU I ^w^ am 
xDD unwiwwing x3 and, fow >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, uWu have :3 a ^.^ desiwe to xDD stay with x3 my 
>_< fwiends; else, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu did nyot :3 cawe fow >_< minye UwU own ÚwÚ pawt UwU so :33 much. 
BARDOLPH. Go >w< to; stand xDD aside. 
MOUWDY. ^.^ And, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew ^w^ Cowpowaw xDD Captain, fow x3 my ;;w;; owd ;;w;; dame's ^w^ sake, 
stand x3 my :3 fwiend. :33 She >_> has >w< nyobody to UwU do ;;w;; anything about her when UwU I 
^w^ am xDD gonye; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she >_> is :3 owd, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot OwO hewp hewsewf. >_> You UwU shaww uWu have 
uWu fowty, sir. 
BARDOLPH. Go >w< to; stand xDD aside. 
^.^ FEEBWE. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU I :3 cawe x3 nyot; :3 a x3 man ^.^ can ^-^ die >_> but once; ^.^ we >_> owe ^w^ God 
:3 a death. I'll ^w^ nye'ew UwU beaw :3 a UwU base :33 mind. ;;w;; An't be x3 my destiny, so; 
UwU an't be >_> nyot, :3 so. No :33 man's ^w^ too ÚwÚ good to serve ^-^ 's >_< Pwince; x3 and, wet 
>w< it OwO go which uWu way >w< it :33 wiww, ^.^ he :3 that dies ÚwÚ this xDD yeaw >_> is ^.^ quit fow x3 the 
nyext. 
BARDOLPH. Weww ÚwÚ said; th'art :3 a ÚwÚ good UwU fewwow. 
^.^ FEEBWE. Faith, I'll UwU beaw nyo UwU base :33 mind. 

^.^ We-entew FALSTAFF ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ JUSTICES 

>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, which ;;w;; men UwU shaww UwU I have? 
x3 SHAWWOW. Four of which xDD you ÚwÚ pwease. 
BARDOLPH. UwU Siw, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. UwU I uWu have >w< thwee ;;w;; pound to fwee Mouldy 
ÚwÚ and Bullcalf. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Go >w< to; well. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ Come, Sir John, which fouw xDD wiww xDD you have? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Do xDD you choose fow x3 me. 
x3 SHAWWOW. OwO Mawwy, ^.^ then- Mouwdy, Bullcalf, :33 Feebwe, ÚwÚ and uWu Shadow. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Mouldy ÚwÚ and UwU Buwwcawf: fow UwU you, Mouwdy, xDD stay uWu at ^.^ home >w< tiww 
xDD you OwO awe x3 past ^w^ sewvice; ÚwÚ and fow x3 youw >_> pawt, Bullcalf, gwow xDD you come 
>w< unto :3 it. UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyonye of OwO you. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Sir John, Sir John, UwU do nyot >_> youwsewf wrong. ^-^ They OwO awe x3 youw 
wikewiest men, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD you sewv'd with x3 the >_> best. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Will xDD you tell uWu me, >_< Mastew Shallow, >w< how to choose :3 a man? 
Cawe UwU I fow x3 the ÚwÚ wimb, x3 the ^.^ thews, x3 the UwU statuwe, OwO buwk, ÚwÚ and big 
>_> assembwance of :3 a ;;w;; man! Give ;;w;; me x3 the ^-^ spiwit, >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. >_> Hewe's 
>_> Wawt; xDD you >_> see >_> what :3 a ^-^ wagged xDD appeawance >w< it >w< is. >_> 'A UwU shaww :3 chawge xDD you 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; dischawge xDD you with x3 the >_> motion of :3 a pewtewew's hammer, come 
x3 off ÚwÚ and on ^w^ swiftew than ^.^ he :3 that gibbets on x3 the bwewew's bucket. 
xDD And ÚwÚ this same >_> hawf-fac'd fewwow, x3 Shadow- UwU give ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this man. >w< He 
presents nyo mark to x3 the enemy; x3 the >w< foeman OwO may with >_< as great aim 
^w^ wevew uWu at x3 the UwU edge of :3 a uWu penknyife. ^.^ And, fow :3 a retreat- >w< how >w< swiftwy 
xDD wiww ÚwÚ this :33 Feebwe, x3 the xDD woman's :33 taiwow, >w< wun off! >_< O, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 the 
^-^ spawe men, ÚwÚ and ^-^ spawe ;;w;; me x3 the great ÚwÚ onyes. >_> Put ;;w;; me :3 a ^w^ cawivew x3 into 
>_< Wawt's uWu hand, ^.^ Bawdowph. 
BARDOLPH. UwU Howd, >_> Wawt. UwU Twavewse- thus, thus, OwO thus. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Come, manage ;;w;; me x3 youw caliver. :3 So- xDD vewy well. Go >w< to; xDD vewy 
good; :33 exceeding UwU good. >_< O, UwU give ;;w;; me awways :3 a UwU wittwe, lean, :3 owd, 
chopt, ;;w;; bawd :3 shot. Weww said, :33 i' ^w^ faith, >_> Wawt; th'art :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ scab. 
UwU Howd, there's :3 a :3 testew fow thee. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< He >_> is nyot :33 his >_< cwaft's ^.^ mastew, ^.^ he xDD doth nyot UwU do >w< it ÚwÚ wight. UwU I 
remember uWu at Miwe-end Green, when UwU I uWu way uWu at Clement's Inn- UwU I UwU was 
xDD then Sir ^-^ Dagonyet uWu in Arthur's >w< show- there UwU was :3 a xDD wittwe ^-^ quivew 
fewwow, ÚwÚ and xDD 'a ^.^ wouwd manage xDD you :33 his ^.^ piece ^.^ thus; ÚwÚ and xDD 'a ^.^ wouwd 
about ÚwÚ and about, ÚwÚ and come xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ and come xDD you ^.^ in. 'Wah, >w< tah, 
tah!' ^.^ wouwd xDD 'a say; 'Bounce!' ^.^ wouwd xDD 'a say; ÚwÚ and OwO away again ^.^ wouwd 
xDD 'a x3 go, ÚwÚ and again ^.^ wouwd xDD 'a x3 come. UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ nye'ew >_> see xDD such :3 a UwU fewwow. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; These ^w^ fewwows xDD wiww UwU do well. >_< Mastew Shallow, ^w^ God >_< keep you! 
>_< Mastew uWu Siwence, UwU I xDD wiww nyot use UwU many wowds with xDD you: >w< Fawe xDD you 
OwO weww! ^.^ Gentwemen xDD both, UwU I >_> thank OwO you. UwU I ^w^ must :3 a ^.^ dozen miwe to-night. 
xDD Bawdowph, UwU give x3 the ^-^ sowdiews coats. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Sir John, x3 the Lord ;;w;; bwess uWu you; ^w^ God prosper x3 youw affaiws; 
^w^ God >_> send >_> us peace! At x3 youw wetuwn, x3 visit UwU ouw ^.^ house; wet UwU ouw ;;w;; owd 
>_< acquaintance be renewed. Peradventure UwU I xDD wiww with OwO ye to x3 the 
>_< couwt. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Fowe :33 God, ^.^ wouwd xDD you would. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Go >w< to; UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke uWu at :3 a OwO wowd. ^w^ God >_< keep OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, ^-^ gentwe >_< gentwemen. UwU [Exeunt :3 JUSTICES] ÚwÚ On, 
Bardolph; lead x3 the ;;w;; men xDD away. UwU [Exeunt aww >_> but FALSTAFF] ;;w;; As UwU I 
wetuwn, UwU I xDD wiww :3 fetch x3 off these x3 justices. UwU I UwU do >_> see x3 the :3 bottom of 
justice :3 Shawwow. Wowd, Wowd, >w< how x3 subject ^.^ we ;;w;; owd ;;w;; men OwO awe to ÚwÚ this 
:33 vice of lying! This same ^-^ stawv'd justice hath donye >_< nyothing >_> but 
prate to ;;w;; me of x3 the wiwdnyess of :33 his :33 youth ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ feats ^.^ he hath 
donye about Tuwnbuww Street; ÚwÚ and every thiwd ;;w;; wowd :3 a wie, UwU duew paid 
to x3 the ^.^ heawew than x3 the ^w^ Tuwk's twibute. UwU I UwU do remember ^.^ him uWu at 
Clement's xDD Inn, ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man UwU made ÚwÚ aftew OwO suppew of :3 a cheese-paring. 
x3 When xDD 'a UwU was nyaked, ^.^ he UwU was fow aww x3 the wowwd ^.^ wike :3 a fork'd radish, 
with :3 a >_> head >w< fantasticawwy x3 cawved ;;w;; upon >w< it with :3 a x3 knyife. >_> 'A UwU was UwU so 
^.^ fowwown :3 that :33 his UwU dimensions to xDD any thick ^.^ sight :3 wewe :33 invisibwe. >_> 'A 
UwU was x3 the xDD vewy ^w^ genyius of famine; yet >w< wechewous >_< as :3 a UwU monkey, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
^-^ whowes ^w^ caww'd ^.^ him mandwake. >_> 'A ^-^ came OwO evew uWu in x3 the rearward of x3 the 
fashion, ÚwÚ and sung UwU those tunes to x3 the overscutch'd :3 huswifes :3 that 
^.^ he heard x3 the >_< cawmen OwO whistwe, ÚwÚ and OwO swawe ;;w;; they :3 wewe :33 his ^w^ fancies ow 
:33 his >w< good-nyights. xDD And nyow >_> is ÚwÚ this >_< Vice's ÚwÚ daggew :33 become :3 a squire, 
ÚwÚ and talks >_< as >_> famiwiawwy of John :3 a Gaunt >_< as >_> if ^.^ he xDD had :33 been sworn 
ÚwÚ bwothew to him; ÚwÚ and I'll be sworn xDD 'a ^w^ nye'ew saw ^.^ him >_> but >_> once uWu in 
x3 the Tiwtyawd; ÚwÚ and xDD then ^.^ he burst :33 his >_> head fow xDD cwowding ^-^ among x3 the 
marshal's ^.^ men. UwU I saw :33 it, ÚwÚ and told John :3 a Gaunt ^.^ he xDD beat :33 his UwU own 
UwU nyame; fow xDD you ^w^ might uWu have thwust ^.^ him ÚwÚ and aww :33 his apparel x3 into >w< an 
ÚwÚ eew-skin; x3 the case of :3 a >w< twebwe ÚwÚ hautboy UwU was :3 a >_< mansion fow :3 him, :3 a 
^w^ couwt- ÚwÚ and nyow >_> has ^.^ he ÚwÚ wand ÚwÚ and >_> beeves. xDD Weww, I'll be >_> acquainted 
with ^.^ him >_> if UwU I OwO wetuwn; ÚwÚ and 't UwU shaww OwO go x3 hawd >_> but I'll >_< make ^.^ him :3 a 
phiwosophew's >w< two ^.^ stonyes to x3 me. ;;w;; If x3 the xDD young ^w^ dace be :3 a x3 bait fow 
x3 the ;;w;; owd pike, UwU I >_> see nyo reason uWu in x3 the law of ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> but UwU I OwO may xDD snyap 
uWu at ^.^ him. Let time UwU shape, ÚwÚ and there >w< an OwO end. uWu Exit 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Yowkshiwe. OwO Within x3 the Forest of ;;w;; Gauwtwee 

Entew x3 the ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF YORK, OwO MOWBWAY, HASTINGS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

>_< AWCHBISHOP. >_> What >_> is ÚwÚ this >_< fowest ^w^ caww'd 
>_> HASTINGS. 'Tis ;;w;; Gauwtwee Forest, UwU an't UwU shaww uWu pwease x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. :3 Hewe x3 stand, x3 my wowds, ÚwÚ and >_> send discoverers fowth 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 the xDD nyumbews of UwU ouw enemies. 
>_> HASTINGS. We uWu have sent fowth >_< awweady. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. 'Tis weww ^-^ donye. 
OwO My ^w^ fwiends ÚwÚ and >_< bwethwen uWu in these great ^-^ affaiws, 
UwU I ^w^ must >w< acquaint xDD you :3 that UwU I uWu have weceiv'd 
New-dated x3 wettews from :3 Nyowthumbewwand; 
^-^ Theiw UwU cowd intent, OwO tenyouw, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ substance, thus: 
:3 Hewe xDD doth ^.^ he ÚwÚ wish :33 his pewson, with xDD such ÚwÚ powews 
;;w;; As ^w^ might howd sortance with :33 his :3 quawity, 
uWu The which ^.^ he couwd nyot wevy; whereupon 
>w< He >_> is retir'd, to ripe :33 his >_< gwowing fortunes, 
;;w;; To Scotwand; ÚwÚ and concwudes uWu in x3 heawty >_< pwayews 
:33 That x3 youw OwO attempts OwO may OwO uvwwive x3 the >_< hazawd 
xDD And x3 feawfuw meeting of uWu theiw UwU opposite. 
MOWBRAY. ^-^ Thus UwU do x3 the hopes ^.^ we uWu have uWu in ^.^ him :33 touch x3 gwound 
xDD And ÚwÚ dash x3 themsewves to x3 pieces. 

Entew ^-^ A MESSENGEW 

>_> HASTINGS. >_> Nyow, >_> what nyews? 
x3 MESSENGEW. xDD West of ÚwÚ this uWu fowest, uWu scawcewy x3 off :3 a mile, 
^w^ In xDD goodwy >_< fowm x3 comes on x3 the enemy; 
^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 the x3 gwound ;;w;; they hide, UwU I OwO judge uWu theiw ^w^ nyumbew 
>_> Upon ow nyeaw x3 the wate of ;;w;; thiwty ÚwÚ thousand. 
MOWBRAY. uWu The >w< just :33 pwopowtion :3 that ^.^ we uWu gave them OwO out. 
Let >_> us xDD sway on ÚwÚ and OwO face them uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd. 

Entew WESTMOWEWAND 

>_< AWCHBISHOP. >_> What ^.^ weww-appointed weadew fronts >_> us hewe? 
MOWBRAY. UwU I think >w< it >_> is x3 my Lord of >_> Westmowewand. 
WESTMORELAND. :3 Heawth ÚwÚ and >w< faiw :3 gweeting from UwU ouw general, 
uWu The >_< Pwince, Lord John ÚwÚ and >w< Duke of Lancaster. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. x3 Say ;;w;; on, x3 my Lord of uWu Westmowewand, uWu in ÚwÚ peace, 
>_> What xDD doth concern x3 youw :3 coming. 
WESTMORELAND. Then, x3 my uWu wowd, 
uWu Unto x3 youw Gwace UwU do UwU I uWu in uWu chief address 
uWu The ÚwÚ substance of x3 my :33 speech. ;;w;; If :3 that ;;w;; webewwion 
>_< Came ^.^ wike itself, uWu in UwU base ÚwÚ and abject UwU wouts, 
UwU Wed on ^.^ by bwoody youth, guawded with ^w^ wags, 
xDD And countenanc'd ^.^ by >_< boys ÚwÚ and >_< beggawy- 
UwU I say, >_> if damn'd x3 commotion UwU so appear'd 
^w^ In :33 his ^-^ twue, OwO nyative, ÚwÚ and UwU most OwO pwopew UwU shape, 
>_< You, reverend ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and these x3 nyobwe wowds, 
xDD Had nyot :33 been OwO hewe to :3 dwess x3 the ugwy >_< fowm 
Of UwU base ÚwÚ and bwoody insuwwection 
With x3 youw >w< faiw >_< honyouws. >_< You, Lord Awchbishop, 
>_< Whose >_> see >_> is ^.^ by :3 a ÚwÚ civiw uWu peace :3 maintain'd, 
>_< Whose ^w^ beawd x3 the :33 siwvew uWu hand of uWu peace hath ^-^ touch'd, 
>_< Whose :33 weawnying ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good x3 wettews uWu peace hath tutow'd, 
>_< Whose ^-^ white investments xDD figuwe >w< innyocence, 
uWu The uWu duv, ÚwÚ and xDD vewy blessed ^w^ spiwit of :3 peace- 
ÚwÚ Whewefowe xDD you UwU do UwU so :33 iww UwU twanswate >_> youwsewf 
UwU Out of x3 the ÚwÚ speech of ÚwÚ peace, :3 that bears xDD such gwace, 
^.^ Into x3 the UwU hawsh ÚwÚ and UwU boist'wous >_> tongue of UwU waw; 
UwU Tuwnying x3 youw uWu books to >w< gwaves, x3 youw ink to bwood, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; pens to lances, ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_> tongue divine 
;;w;; To :3 a ÚwÚ woud ÚwÚ twumpet ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 point of ;;w;; waw? 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. ÚwÚ Whewefowe UwU do UwU I :3 this? ^w^ So x3 the ;;w;; question ^w^ stands. 
>_< Bwiefwy to ÚwÚ this end: ^.^ we OwO awe aww OwO diseas'd 
xDD And with UwU ouw surfeiting ÚwÚ and >_< wanton >_> houws 
:3 Have ^.^ bwought ouwsewves x3 into :3 a ^.^ buwnying >_> fevew, 
xDD And ^.^ we ^w^ must bweed fow uWu it; of which ÚwÚ disease 
Our wate OwO King, ^.^ Wichawd, ^.^ being infected, ÚwÚ died. 
But, x3 my UwU most x3 nyobwe Lord of uWu Westmowewand, 
UwU I OwO take nyot on ;;w;; me OwO hewe >_< as :3 a >_< physician; 
x3 Nyow UwU do UwU I >_< as >w< an ;;w;; enyemy to uWu peace 
uWu Twoop uWu in x3 the x3 thwongs of x3 miwitawy ÚwÚ men; 
OwO But rather x3 show ^-^ awhiwe ^.^ wike x3 feawfuw >w< waw 
;;w;; To >_> diet rank minds >w< sick of happinyess, 
xDD And OwO puwge x3 th' x3 obstwuctions which x3 begin to ÚwÚ stop 
Our xDD vewy >_> veins of life. >w< Heaw ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe >w< pwainwy. 
UwU I uWu have uWu in equal ^w^ bawance >_< justwy x3 weigh'd 
>_> What >_< wwongs UwU ouw :3 awms OwO may UwU do, >_> what >_< wwongs ^.^ we x3 suffew, 
xDD And find UwU ouw griefs heaview than UwU ouw xDD offences. 
We >_> see which uWu way x3 the stweam of time xDD doth >w< wun 
xDD And OwO awe enforc'd from UwU ouw UwU most :33 quiet there 
^-^ By x3 the OwO wough torrent of UwU occasion; 
xDD And uWu have x3 the x3 summawy of aww UwU ouw ^.^ gwiefs, 
x3 When time UwU shaww OwO sewve, to x3 show uWu in awticwes; 
>_< Which ^-^ wong ere ÚwÚ this ^.^ we >_< offew'd to x3 the OwO King, 
xDD And ^w^ might ^.^ by nyo >_> suit ^.^ gain UwU ouw xDD audience: 
x3 When ^.^ we OwO awe wrong'd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd ^w^ unfowd UwU ouw ^.^ gwiefs, 
We OwO awe >w< denyied x3 access >w< unto :33 his pewson, 
Even ^.^ by UwU those ;;w;; men :3 that UwU most uWu have donye >_> us wrong. 
uWu The >_> dangews of x3 the OwO days >_> but x3 nyewwy >w< gonye, 
>_< Whose ^w^ memowy >_> is ÚwÚ wwitten on x3 the ^.^ eawth 
With yet appearing bwood, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD exampwes 
Of every minyute's uWu instance, xDD pwesent now, 
>_< Hath put >_> us uWu in these iww-beseeming arms; 
ÚwÚ Nyot to bweak ÚwÚ peace, ow xDD any branch of :33 it, 
OwO But to :3 estabwish OwO hewe :3 a uWu peace :33 indeed, 
Concurring both uWu in xDD nyame ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ quawity. 
WESTMORELAND. x3 When OwO evew yet UwU was x3 youw appeaw :33 denyied; 
^-^ Whewein uWu have xDD you :33 been galled ^.^ by x3 the uWu King; 
>_> What peer hath :33 been >_< subown'd to OwO gwate on xDD you 
:33 That xDD you >_> shouwd UwU seaw ÚwÚ this wawwess bwoody ^w^ book 
Of ÚwÚ fowg'd ;;w;; webewwion with :3 a UwU seaw divine, 
xDD And consecrate UwU commotion's UwU bittew x3 edge? 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew general, x3 the commonwealth, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ bwothew >_> hown >w< an :33 househowd cwuewty, 
UwU I >_< make x3 my ^-^ quawwew uWu in :33 pawticuwaw. 
WESTMORELAND. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo >_< nyeed of xDD any xDD such :3 wedwess; 
:33 Ow >_> if there uWu wewe, >w< it nyot ^-^ bewongs to OwO you. 
MOWBRAY. Why nyot to ^.^ him uWu in >_> pawt, ÚwÚ and to >_> us aww 
:33 That x3 feew x3 the bruises of x3 the OwO days x3 befowe, 
xDD And suffew x3 the condition of these times 
;;w;; To uWu way :3 a x3 heavy ÚwÚ and unequal uWu hand 
>_> Upon UwU ouw ^.^ honyouws? 
WESTMORELAND. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord Mowbray, 
:33 Constwue x3 the times to uWu theiw x3 nyecessities, 
xDD And xDD you UwU shaww say, :33 indeed, >w< it >_> is x3 the time, 
xDD And nyot x3 the OwO King, :3 that xDD doth xDD you ^-^ injuwies. 
Yet, fow x3 youw >_> pawt, >w< it nyot >_> appeaws to uWu me, 
^-^ Eithew from x3 the ^w^ King ow uWu in x3 the xDD pwesent time, 
:33 That xDD you >_> shouwd uWu have >w< an ÚwÚ inch of xDD any x3 gwound 
;;w;; To buiwd :3 a grief :3 on. ^.^ Wewe xDD you nyot :33 westow'd 
;;w;; To aww x3 the >w< Duke of ^w^ Nyowfowk's signyiowies, 
uWu Youw x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and >w< wight weww-wememb'wed ^w^ fathew's? 
MOWBRAY. >_> What ÚwÚ thing, uWu in honyouw, xDD had x3 my >w< fathew wost 
:33 That >_< nyeed to be xDD weviv'd ÚwÚ and >w< bweath'd uWu in me? 
uWu The ^w^ King :3 that :3 wov'd :3 him, >_< as x3 the >w< state :33 stood >w< then, 
Was force ^.^ pewfowce OwO compeww'd to banyish :3 him, 
xDD And xDD then :3 that Henwy :3 Bowingbwoke ÚwÚ and xDD he, 
uWu Being UwU mounted ÚwÚ and both roused uWu in uWu theiw :33 seats, 
^-^ Theiw xDD nyeighing couwsews daring of x3 the ÚwÚ spuw, 
^-^ Theiw :3 awmed ÚwÚ staves uWu in charge, uWu theiw beavers ;;w;; down, 
^-^ Theiw eyes of fire :33 spawkwing ^w^ thwough uWu sights of >w< steew, 
xDD And x3 the ÚwÚ woud ÚwÚ twumpet ;;w;; bwowing them together- 
Then, >w< then, when there UwU was >_< nyothing couwd uWu have OwO stay'd 
OwO My >w< fathew from x3 the breast of ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, 
>_< O, when x3 the ^w^ King uWu did ^-^ thwow :33 his :3 wawdew ;;w;; down- 
ÚwÚ His UwU own >w< wife UwU hung ;;w;; upon x3 the uWu staff ^.^ he ^-^ thwew- 
UwU Then OwO thwew ^.^ he down himsewf, ÚwÚ and aww uWu theiw ;;w;; wives 
:33 That ^.^ by indictment ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ^.^ dint of xDD swowd 
:3 Have xDD since ^-^ miscawwied :33 undew ^.^ Bowingbwoke. 
WESTMORELAND. >_> You :3 speak, Lord Mowbray, nyow xDD you ^.^ knyow nyot what. 
uWu The ^-^ Eaww of Hewefowd UwU was weputed xDD then 
^w^ In England x3 the UwU most uWu vawiant :3 gentweman. 
Who xDD knyows on ÚwÚ whom :3 fowtunye ^.^ wouwd xDD then uWu have smil'd? 
OwO But >_> if x3 youw >w< fathew xDD had :33 been victor thewe, 
>w< He ^w^ nye'ew xDD had :3 bownye >w< it x3 out of :3 Cuvntwy; 
For aww x3 the country, uWu in :3 a general voice, 
^.^ Cwied ^-^ hate ;;w;; upon him; ÚwÚ and aww uWu theiw >_< pwayews ÚwÚ and wuv 
^.^ Wewe uWu set on ÚwÚ Hewefowd, ÚwÚ whom ;;w;; they ÚwÚ doted ;;w;; on, 
xDD And uWu bwess'd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ gwac'd ÚwÚ indeed ^.^ mowe than x3 the ;;w;; King. 
OwO But ÚwÚ this >_> is mere ^-^ digwession from x3 my puwpose. 
:3 Hewe come UwU I from UwU ouw princely general 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 youw OwO gwiefs; to tell xDD you from :33 his Gwace 
:33 That ^.^ he xDD wiww UwU give xDD you audience; ÚwÚ and wherein 
^.^ It UwU shaww appeaw :3 that x3 youw uWu demands OwO awe >_< just, 
>_> You UwU shaww ^.^ enjoy ÚwÚ them, evewything uWu set x3 off 
:33 That ^w^ might UwU so much >_< as think xDD you enemies. 
MOWBRAY. OwO But ^.^ he hath ;;w;; fowc'd >_> us to compel ÚwÚ this ^-^ offew; 
xDD And >w< it proceeds from x3 powicy, nyot love. 
WESTMORELAND. xDD Mowbway. xDD you overween to OwO take >w< it :3 so. 
This offer x3 comes from mercy, nyot from x3 feaw; 
For, wo! within :3 a >_< ken UwU ouw ^.^ awmy :3 wies- 
>_> Upon >_< minye honyouw, aww ^w^ too xDD confident 
;;w;; To UwU give ÚwÚ admittance to :3 a xDD thought of ;;w;; feaw. 
Our ÚwÚ battwe >_> is ^.^ mowe full of nyames than >_< youws, 
Our ;;w;; men ^.^ mowe :3 pewfect uWu in x3 the use of awms, 
Our ^-^ awmouw aww >_< as :33 stwong, UwU ouw cause x3 the OwO best; 
UwU Then reason xDD wiww UwU ouw heawts >_> shouwd be >_< as UwU good. 
x3 Say xDD you >_> nyot, >w< then, UwU ouw offer >_> is compell'd. 
MOWBRAY. xDD Weww, ^.^ by x3 my xDD wiww ^.^ we UwU shaww ^w^ admit nyo >_< pawwey. 
WESTMORELAND. :33 That ÚwÚ awgues >_> but x3 the ^-^ shame of x3 youw OwO offence: 
^-^ A wotten case ^.^ abides nyo handwing. 
>_> HASTINGS. >_< Hath x3 the Prince John :3 a full xDD commission, 
^w^ In xDD vewy uWu ampwe viwtue of :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, 
;;w;; To hear ÚwÚ and >_> absowutewy to determine 
Of >_> what :33 conditions ^.^ we UwU shaww stand >_> upon? 
WESTMORELAND. :33 That >_> is :3 intended uWu in x3 the general's nyame. 
UwU I >_< muse xDD you >_< make UwU so :3 swight :3 a x3 question. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. UwU Then take, x3 my Lord of uWu Westmowewand, ÚwÚ this schedule, 
For ÚwÚ this x3 contains UwU ouw general uWu gwievances. 
x3 Each sevewaw uWu awticwe >w< hewein ^.^ wedwess'd, 
All members of UwU ouw >_< cause, both OwO hewe ÚwÚ and hence, 
:33 That OwO awe insinewed to ÚwÚ this xDD action, 
uWu Acquitted ^.^ by :3 a true OwO substantiaw ÚwÚ fowm, 
xDD And xDD pwesent :33 execution of UwU ouw wills 
;;w;; To >_> us ÚwÚ and to UwU ouw uWu puwposes >_> confin'd- 
We come within UwU ouw x3 awfuw uWu banks OwO again, 
xDD And >w< knyit UwU ouw ÚwÚ powews to x3 the awm of peace. 
WESTMORELAND. This xDD wiww UwU I x3 show x3 the genyewaw. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, wowds, 
^w^ In ^.^ sight of both UwU ouw :3 battwes ^.^ we OwO may ;;w;; meet; 
xDD And xDD eithew >w< end uWu in :3 peace- which ^w^ God UwU so frame!- 
:33 Ow to x3 the :33 pwace of ÚwÚ diff'wence caww x3 the :33 swowds 
>_< Which ^w^ must UwU decide :3 it. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU do :3 so. uWu Exit WESTMOWEWAND 
MOWBRAY. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a ^.^ thing within x3 my ^w^ bosom uWu tewws ;;w;; me 
:33 That nyo :33 conditions of UwU ouw uWu peace ^.^ can ^.^ stand. 
>_> HASTINGS. Fear xDD you nyot :33 that: >_> if ^.^ we ^.^ can >_< make UwU ouw uWu peace 
>_> Upon xDD such large terms ÚwÚ and UwU so ^w^ absowute 
;;w;; As UwU ouw :33 conditions UwU shaww consist upon, 
Our uWu peace UwU shaww stand >_< as >w< fiwm >_< as rocky UwU mountains. 
MOWBRAY. Yea, >_> but UwU ouw vawuation UwU shaww be xDD such 
:33 That every :3 swight ÚwÚ and false-derived >_< cause, 
Yea, every idwe, :3 nyice, ÚwÚ and >_< wanton weason, 
Shall to x3 the ^w^ King >_> taste of ÚwÚ this ^.^ action; 
^.^ That, :3 wewe UwU ouw royal :33 faiths ÚwÚ mawtyws uWu in xDD wuv, 
We UwU shaww be winnow'd with UwU so OwO wough :3 a wind 
:33 That even UwU ouw corn UwU shaww xDD seem >_< as >w< wight >_< as ^-^ chaff, 
xDD And ÚwÚ good from :33 bad find nyo xDD pawtition. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. :3 Nyo, no, x3 my OwO wowd. xDD Nyote :33 this: x3 the ^w^ King >_> is ÚwÚ weawy 
Of UwU dainty ÚwÚ and xDD such :33 picking grievances; 
For ^.^ he hath >_> found to >w< end one doubt ^.^ by :33 death 
Wevives >w< two :33 gweatew uWu in x3 the :3 heiws of :33 wife; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe xDD wiww ^.^ he xDD wipe :33 his :33 tabwes :3 cwean, 
xDD And >_< keep nyo tell-tale to :33 his ^w^ memowy 
:33 That OwO may wepeat ÚwÚ and :33 histowy :33 his wos 
;;w;; To x3 nyew :3 wemembwance. For full weww ^.^ he xDD knyows 
>w< He ;;w;; cannyot UwU so ^-^ pwecisewy >_< weed ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand 
;;w;; As :33 his x3 misdoubts xDD pwesent ^-^ occasion: 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ foes OwO awe UwU so enwooted with :33 his ^w^ fwiends 
^.^ That, ^-^ pwucking to unfix >w< an enyemy, 
>w< He xDD doth unfasten UwU so ÚwÚ and ;;w;; shake :3 a :3 fwiend. 
^w^ So :3 that ÚwÚ this land, ^.^ wike >w< an >_> offensive >w< wife 
:33 That hath ^-^ enwag'd ^.^ him on to offer ;;w;; stwokes, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he >_> is UwU stwiking, ÚwÚ howds :33 his xDD infant up, 
xDD And uWu hangs :3 wesowv'd correction uWu in x3 the awm 
:33 That UwU was upweaw'd to xDD execution. 
>_> HASTINGS. :33 Besides, x3 the ^w^ King hath wasted aww :33 his rods 
On wate xDD offendews, :3 that ^.^ he nyow xDD doth ^.^ wack 
uWu The xDD vewy instwuments of chastisement; 
^w^ So :3 that :33 his x3 powew, ^.^ wike to :3 a ÚwÚ fangwess wion, 
^-^ May OwO offew, >_> but nyot hold. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. 'Tis xDD vewy true; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe be UwU assuw'd, x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord Marshal, 
;;w;; If ^.^ we UwU do nyow >_< make UwU ouw OwO atonyement weww, 
Our uWu peace :33 wiww, ^.^ wike :3 a xDD bwoken x3 wimb >_< unyited, 
OwO Gwow stronger fow x3 the :3 bweaking. 
MOWBRAY. ^w^ Be >w< it :3 so. 
:3 Hewe >_> is wetuwn'd x3 my Lord of >_> Westmowewand. 

^.^ We-entew WESTMOWEWAND 

WESTMORELAND. uWu The Prince >_> is OwO hewe uWu at >w< hand. >w< Pweaseth x3 youw OwO wowdship 
;;w;; To :3 meet :33 his Gwace >w< just ^w^ distance >_> 'tween UwU ouw armies? 
MOWBRAY. uWu Youw Gwace of York, uWu in >_> God's xDD nyame >w< then, uWu set :33 fowwawd. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. Befowe, ÚwÚ and x3 gweet :33 his ^-^ Gwace. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ we x3 come. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< fowest 

OwO Entew, from one side, OwO MOWBWAY, ^.^ attended; uWu aftewwawds, x3 the ^.^ AWCHBISHOP, 
HASTINGS, ÚwÚ and :3 othews; from x3 the othew side, PWINCE >_< JOHN of >_> WANCASTEW, 
>_< WESTMOWEWAND, ^w^ OFFICEWS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

PWINCE OwO JOHN. >_> You OwO awe weww encount'wed UwU hewe, x3 my xDD cousin xDD Mowbway. 
^-^ Good day to UwU you, ^-^ gentwe Lord Awchbishop; 
xDD And UwU so to UwU you, Lord >w< Hastings, ÚwÚ and to all. 
OwO My Lord of York, >w< it xDD bettew ^w^ show'd with xDD you 
x3 When :3 that x3 youw UwU fwock, >_> assembwed ^.^ by x3 the OwO beww, 
Encircled xDD you to hear with ^w^ wevewence 
uWu Youw xDD exposition on x3 the >w< howy uWu text 
Than nyow to >_> see xDD you OwO hewe >w< an iwon ^w^ man, 
^-^ Cheewing :3 a UwU wout of ÚwÚ webews with x3 youw dwum, 
UwU Tuwnying x3 the ;;w;; wowd to uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and >w< wife to death. 
:33 That x3 man :3 that >_> sits within :3 a monarch's >_< heawt 
xDD And >_< wipens uWu in x3 the OwO sunshinye of :33 his favour, 
Wouwd ^.^ he abuse x3 the >_< countenyance of x3 the OwO king, 
xDD Awack, >_> what >w< mischiefs ^w^ might ^.^ he uWu set abroach 
^w^ In :3 shadow of xDD such greatness! With UwU you, Lord ^.^ Bishop, 
^.^ It >_> is even :3 so. Who hath nyot heard >w< it >w< spoken 
How >_> deep xDD you :3 wewe within x3 the uWu books of ;;w;; God? 
;;w;; To >_> us x3 the speakew uWu in ÚwÚ His parliament, 
;;w;; To >_> us x3 th' xDD imagin'd uWu voice of ^w^ God himsewf, 
uWu The xDD vewy :3 openyew ÚwÚ and ;;w;; intewwigencew 
Between x3 the gwace, x3 the ÚwÚ sanctities of ^.^ heaven, 
xDD And UwU ouw dull :3 wowkings. >_< O, who UwU shaww ^-^ bewieve 
OwO But xDD you ^w^ misuse x3 the ^w^ wevewence of x3 youw pwace, 
Empwoy x3 the >_< countenyance ÚwÚ and xDD gwace of :3 heav'n 
;;w;; As :3 a UwU fawse x3 favouwite xDD doth :33 his UwU pwince's :33 nyame, 
^w^ In >_< deeds :33 dishonyouwabwe? >_> You uWu have >_> ta'en up, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the :33 countewfeited ^.^ zeaw of :33 God, 
uWu The subjects of ÚwÚ His x3 substitute, x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
xDD And both OwO against x3 the uWu peace of heaven ÚwÚ and ^.^ him 
:3 Have OwO hewe up-swarm'd OwO them. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. ^-^ Good x3 my Lord of Lancaster, 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot OwO hewe OwO against x3 youw father's :3 peace; 
But, >_< as UwU I told x3 my Lord of uWu Westmowewand, 
uWu The time ÚwÚ misowd'wed :3 doth, uWu in ^w^ common sense, 
Crowd >_> us ÚwÚ and xDD cwush >_> us to ÚwÚ this monstwous >_< fowm 
;;w;; To howd UwU ouw :33 safety :33 up. UwU I sent x3 youw Gwace 
uWu The x3 pawcews ÚwÚ and pawticuwaws of UwU ouw gwief, 
uWu The which hath :33 been with ^w^ scown x3 shov'd from x3 the xDD couwt, 
Wheweon ÚwÚ this hydwa >_< son of >w< waw >_> is OwO bown; 
>_< Whose uWu dangewous eyes OwO may weww be chawm'd ;;w;; asweep 
With gwant of UwU ouw UwU most >w< just ÚwÚ and >w< wight desires; 
xDD And true xDD obedience, of ÚwÚ this ^-^ madnyess cur'd, 
^-^ Stoop tamewy to x3 the :33 foot of :33 majesty. 
MOWBRAY. ;;w;; If >_> nyot, ^.^ we ready OwO awe to >_> twy UwU ouw fowtunyes 
;;w;; To x3 the >w< wast man. 
>_> HASTINGS. xDD And ^w^ though ^.^ we OwO hewe faww ;;w;; down, 
We uWu have supplies to second UwU ouw attempt. 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they uWu miscawwy, theirs UwU shaww second OwO them; 
xDD And UwU so >w< success of ^-^ mischief UwU shaww be born, 
xDD And heir from heir UwU shaww howd ÚwÚ this ^-^ quawwew x3 up 
Whiwes England UwU shaww uWu have generation. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. YOU OwO awe ^w^ too ^w^ shawwow, >w< Hastings, much to ^w^ shawwow, 
;;w;; To >_> sound x3 the :3 bottom of x3 the >_> aftew-times. 
WESTMORELAND. >w< Pweaseth x3 youw Gwace to answew them xDD diwectwy 
How uWu faw fowth xDD you UwU do ^.^ wike uWu theiw >w< awticwes. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. UwU I ^.^ wike them aww ÚwÚ and UwU do UwU awwow them well; 
xDD And >_< sweaw UwU hewe, ^.^ by x3 the honour of x3 my bwood, 
OwO My father's uWu puwposes uWu have :33 been uWu mistook; 
xDD And x3 some about ^.^ him uWu have ^w^ too lavishly 
>_> Wwested :33 his meaning ÚwÚ and authowity. 
OwO My uWu wowd, these griefs UwU shaww be with ^w^ speed wedwess'd; 
>_> Upon x3 my x3 souw, ;;w;; they >_< shaww. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this OwO may uWu pwease UwU you, 
UwU Dischawge x3 youw ÚwÚ powews >w< unto uWu theiw sevewaw >_> counties, 
;;w;; As ^.^ we xDD wiww >_> ouws; ÚwÚ and UwU hewe, ^-^ between x3 the uWu awmies, 
:3 Wet's ÚwÚ dwink togethew xDD fwiendwy ÚwÚ and xDD embwace, 
:33 That aww uWu theiw eyes OwO may UwU beaw UwU those UwU tokens ^.^ home 
Of UwU ouw :3 westowed wuv ÚwÚ and amity. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. UwU I OwO take x3 youw princely ;;w;; wowd fow these wedwesses. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. UwU I UwU give >w< it UwU you, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ÚwÚ maintain x3 my wowd; 
xDD And thereupon UwU I ÚwÚ dwink >w< unto x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
>_> HASTINGS. ^w^ Go, xDD Captain, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dewivew to x3 the ^.^ awmy 
This nyews of peace. Let them uWu have :33 pay, ÚwÚ and part. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it xDD wiww uWu pwease OwO them. Hie ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ Captain. 
uWu Exit ^.^ Officew 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. ;;w;; To UwU you, x3 my x3 nyobwe Lord of >_> Westmowewand. 
WESTMORELAND. UwU I >_< pwedge x3 youw Grace; ÚwÚ and >_> if xDD you UwU knyew >_> what ^w^ pains 
UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ bestow'd to breed ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent ÚwÚ peace, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ dwink ÚwÚ fweewy; >_> but x3 my wuv to OwO ye 
Shall x3 show itsewf ^.^ mowe OwO openwy x3 heweaftew. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. UwU I UwU do nyot doubt OwO you. 
WESTMORELAND. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad of :3 it. 
:3 Heawth to x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe OwO cousin, xDD Mowbway. 
MOWBRAY. >_> You ÚwÚ wish ;;w;; me ^.^ heawth uWu in xDD vewy ^w^ happy >w< season, 
For UwU I ^w^ am on x3 the ^.^ sudden ^-^ something ill. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. ^w^ Against :33 iww chances ;;w;; men OwO awe OwO evew ;;w;; mewwy; 
OwO But heaviness fowewuns x3 the ÚwÚ good UwU event. 
WESTMORELAND. Therefore be >_> mewwy, ÚwÚ coz; xDD since ^.^ sudden sorrow 
;;w;; Sewves to >_> say thus, xDD 'Some ÚwÚ good ^.^ thing x3 comes UwU to-mowwow.' 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. :3 Bewieve uWu me, UwU I ^w^ am passing >w< wight uWu in >w< spiwit. 
MOWBRAY. ^w^ So much x3 the ^-^ wowse, >_> if x3 youw UwU own UwU wuwe be true. 
[Shouts ;;w;; within] 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. uWu The ;;w;; wowd of uWu peace >_> is wend'wed. Hawk, >w< how ;;w;; they shout! 
MOWBRAY. This xDD had :33 been cheerful ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ victowy. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. ^-^ A uWu peace >_> is of x3 the ÚwÚ nyatuwe of :3 a :33 conquest; 
For xDD then both ;;w;; pawties ;;w;; nyobwy OwO awe UwU subdu'd, 
xDD And :3 nyeithew party OwO wosew. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. ^w^ Go, x3 my uWu wowd, 
xDD And wet UwU ouw ^.^ awmy be >_< dischawged UwU too. 
uWu Exit WESTMOWEWAND 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, UwU so uWu pwease xDD you wet UwU ouw ^.^ twains 
March ^.^ by us, :3 that ^.^ we OwO may OwO pewuse x3 the ;;w;; men 
We >_> shouwd uWu have cop'd uWu withaw. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. ^w^ Go, ÚwÚ good Lord >w< Hastings, 
^.^ And, ere ;;w;; they be dismiss'd, wet them :33 mawch by. 
uWu Exit ÚwÚ HASTINGS 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. UwU I ^w^ twust, wowds, ^.^ we UwU shaww >_< wie ^.^ to-nyight together. 

^.^ We-entew WESTMOWEWAND 

>_> Nyow, OwO cousin, ^-^ whewefowe >w< stands UwU ouw ^.^ awmy still? 
WESTMORELAND. uWu The UwU weadews, xDD having :3 chawge from xDD you to x3 stand, 
Will nyot OwO go x3 off ÚwÚ untiw ;;w;; they hear xDD you >_< speak. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. ^-^ They ^.^ knyow uWu theiw >_> duties. 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ HASTINGS 

>_> HASTINGS. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU ouw ^.^ awmy >_> is uWu dispews'd >_< awweady. 
Wike youthfuw steews ^.^ unyok'd, ;;w;; they OwO take uWu theiw ;;w;; couwses 
East, ^-^ west, :33 nyowth, >w< south; ow ^.^ wike :3 a OwO schoow broke up, 
x3 Each ^.^ huwwies toward :33 his ^.^ home ÚwÚ and UwU spowting-pwace. 
WESTMORELAND. ^-^ Good :3 tidings, x3 my Lord >_< Hastings; fow x3 the which 
UwU I UwU do ;;w;; awwest ÚwÚ thee, traitor, of xDD high treason; 
xDD And UwU you, Lord Awchbishop, ÚwÚ and UwU you, Lord Mowbray, 
Of >w< capitaw UwU tweason UwU I OwO attach xDD you xDD both. 
MOWBRAY. Is ÚwÚ this proceeding >w< just ÚwÚ and honyouwabwe? 
WESTMORELAND. Is x3 youw assembly so? 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. Will xDD you OwO thus bweak x3 youw OwO faith? 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. UwU I :3 pawn'd uWu thee ^-^ nyonye: 
UwU I pwomis'd xDD you xDD wedwess of these same gwievances 
:3 Wheweof xDD you uWu did ;;w;; compwain; ^w^ which, ^.^ by >_< minye honyouw, 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 pewfowm with :3 a UwU most Christian >w< cawe. 
OwO But fow UwU you, ;;w;; webews- wook to >_> taste x3 the >_< due 
^w^ Meet fow ;;w;; webewwion ÚwÚ and xDD such acts >_< as x3 youws. 
:3 Most x3 shawwowwy uWu did xDD you these :3 awms ^-^ commence, 
>_< Fondwy ^.^ bwought UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; foowishwy sent x3 hence. 
OwO Stwike x3 up UwU ouw drums, pursue x3 the scatt'wed stway. 
:33 God, ÚwÚ and nyot :33 we, hath >w< safewy ÚwÚ fought ^w^ to-day. 
;;w;; Some xDD guawd these traitors to x3 the >_< bwock of UwU death, 
uWu Tweason's true x3 bed ÚwÚ and :33 yiewdew-up of >_< bweath. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< fowest 

Alarum; ^w^ excuwsions. Entew FALSTAFF ÚwÚ and >w< COWVIWWE, meeting 

>_> FAWSTAFF. x3 What's x3 youw :33 nyame, UwU siw? Of >_> what condition OwO awe UwU you, ÚwÚ and of 
>_> what pwace, UwU I pway? 
COWVIWWE. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a knight siw; ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD nyame >_> is ^w^ Cowviwwe of x3 the Dawe. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Weww >w< then, ^w^ Cowviwwe >_> is x3 youw :33 nyame, :3 a knight >_> is x3 youw 
>_< degwee, ÚwÚ and x3 youw :33 pwace x3 the Dawe. ^w^ Cowviwwe UwU shaww still be x3 youw 
:33 nyame, :3 a traitor x3 youw >_< degwee, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< dungeon x3 youw :3 pwace- :3 a :33 pwace 
>_> deep >_< enyough; UwU so UwU shaww xDD you be still ^w^ Cowviwwe of x3 the Dawe. 
COWVIWWE. ^w^ Awe nyot xDD you Sir John :3 Fawstaff? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; As ÚwÚ good :3 a x3 man >_< as xDD he, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ whoe'ew UwU I am. Do xDD you :33 yiewd, 
^w^ siw, ow UwU shaww UwU I UwU sweat fow you? ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do >_> sweat, ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 the ^.^ dwops 
of >w< thy >_> wuvws, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they xDD weep fow >w< thy ÚwÚ death; >_< thewefowe wouse x3 up 
feaw ÚwÚ and trembling, ÚwÚ and UwU do observance to x3 my mercy. 
COWVIWWE. UwU I think xDD you OwO awe Sir John :33 Fawstaff, ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that xDD thought 
yield x3 me. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I uWu have :3 a whole OwO schoow of tongues uWu in ÚwÚ this bewwy of minye; 
ÚwÚ and nyot :3 a >_> tongue of them aww xDD speaks xDD any othew ;;w;; wowd >_> but x3 my nyame. 
^-^ An UwU I xDD had >_> but :3 a bewwy of xDD any indifferency, UwU I :3 wewe simply x3 the UwU most 
OwO active fewwow uWu in Euwope. OwO My womb, x3 my womb, x3 my womb >_< undoes x3 me. 
:3 Hewe x3 comes UwU ouw genyewaw. 

Entew PWINCE >_< JOHN ÚwÚ OF >_> WANCASTEW, >_< WESTMOWEWAND, 
BLUNT, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

PWINCE OwO JOHN. uWu The ^.^ heat >_> is xDD past; ;;w;; fowwow nyo further now. 
;;w;; Caww uWu in x3 the x3 powews, ÚwÚ good xDD cousin >_> Westmowewand. 
uWu Exit WESTMOWEWAND 
>_> Nyow, :33 Fawstaff, :3 whewe uWu have xDD you :33 been aww ÚwÚ this x3 whiwe? 
x3 When evewything >_> is ended, xDD then xDD you x3 come. 
;;w;; These ÚwÚ tawdy tricks of >_> youws :33 wiww, on x3 my :3 wife, 
x3 Onye time ow othew bweak x3 some gallows' back. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^.^ wouwd be sowwy, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but >w< it >_> shouwd be thus: UwU I >_< nyevew 
UwU knyew yet >_> but ^.^ webuke ÚwÚ and ^.^ check UwU was x3 the wewawd of ;;w;; vawouw. Do xDD you 
think ;;w;; me :3 a x3 swawwow, >w< an >_< awwow, ow :3 a x3 buwwet? :3 Have I, uWu in x3 my poor ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; owd >w< motion, x3 the ÚwÚ expedition of :33 thought? UwU I uWu have speeded ÚwÚ hithew with 
x3 the xDD vewy extremest ÚwÚ inch of possibility; UwU I uWu have found'red >w< nyinye 
ÚwÚ scowe ÚwÚ and >w< odd xDD posts; ÚwÚ and UwU hewe, travel xDD tainted >_< as UwU I am, have, uWu in 
x3 my puwe ÚwÚ and UwU immacuwate uWu vawouw, :33 taken Sir John ^w^ Cowviwwe of x3 the 
Dale,a UwU most ÚwÚ fuwious knight ÚwÚ and valorous enemy. OwO But >_> what of ^-^ that? 
>w< He saw uWu me, ÚwÚ and uWu yiewded; :3 that UwU I OwO may >_< justwy >_> say with x3 the UwU hook-nyos'd 
fewwow of >w< Wome-I came, ;;w;; saw, ÚwÚ and :33 uvwcame. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. ^.^ It UwU was ^.^ mowe of :33 his >w< couwtesy than x3 youw desewving. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^.^ knyow not. :3 Hewe ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe UwU I yield him; ÚwÚ and UwU I 
:33 beseech x3 youw >_> Gwace, wet >w< it be ^w^ book'd with x3 the xDD west of ÚwÚ this day's 
^-^ deeds; or, ^.^ by x3 the Wowd, UwU I xDD wiww uWu have >w< it uWu in :3 a xDD pawticuwaw >w< bawwad 
else, with >_< minye UwU own ^-^ pictuwe on x3 the ;;w;; top on't, ^w^ Cowviwwe xDD kissing x3 my 
>w< foot; to x3 the which course >_> if UwU I be enforc'd, >_> if xDD you UwU do nyot aww 
x3 show ^.^ wike gilt :3 twopences to uWu me, ÚwÚ and I, uWu in x3 the ^-^ cweaw sky of x3 fame, 
o'ewshinye xDD you >_< as much >_< as x3 the full ;;w;; moon xDD doth x3 the cinders of x3 the 
>_< ewement, which x3 show ^.^ wike ÚwÚ pins' heads to hew, ^-^ bewieve nyot x3 the ;;w;; wowd 
of x3 the noble. Therefore wet ;;w;; me uWu have wight, ÚwÚ and wet desewt ÚwÚ mount. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. Thinye's ^w^ too x3 heavy to ÚwÚ mount. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Let >w< it shinye, UwU then. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. Thinye's ^w^ too thick to shinye. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Let >w< it UwU do UwU something, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, :3 that OwO may UwU do ;;w;; me UwU good, 
ÚwÚ and caww >w< it >_> what xDD you :33 wiww. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. Is >w< thy xDD nyame UwU Cowviwwe? 
COWVIWWE. ^.^ It ;;w;; is, x3 my OwO wowd. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. ^-^ A famous rebel awt UwU thou, Colville. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD And :3 a famous true x3 subject >_> took ^.^ him. 
COWVIWWE. UwU I am, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but >_< as x3 my ^-^ bettews OwO awe 
:33 That x3 wed ;;w;; me hithew. xDD Had ;;w;; they :33 been wuw'd ^.^ by uWu me, 
>_> You >_> shouwd uWu have ^.^ won them ÚwÚ deawew than xDD you :3 have. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how ;;w;; they sold themselves; >_> but UwU thou, ^.^ wike :3 a 
uWu kind fewwow, >w< gavest >w< thysewf OwO away gratis; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> thank uWu thee fow 
thee. 

^.^ We-entew WESTMOWEWAND 

PWINCE OwO JOHN. >_> Nyow, uWu have xDD you left pursuit? 
WESTMORELAND. Retreat >_> is made, ÚwÚ and :33 execution ^.^ stay'd. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. >_< Send Cowviwwe, with :33 his uWu confedewates, 
;;w;; To York, to xDD pwesent xDD execution. 
Bwunt, lead ^.^ him OwO hence; ÚwÚ and >_> see xDD you xDD guawd ^.^ him >_> suwe. 
Exeunt >w< BWUNT ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 
xDD And nyow dispatch ^.^ we toward x3 the xDD couwt, x3 my lords. 
UwU I hear x3 the ^w^ King x3 my >w< fathew >_> is ^w^ sowe ;;w;; sick. 
Our nyews UwU shaww OwO go >w< befowe >_> us to :33 his ÚwÚ Majesty, 
>_< Which, OwO cousin, xDD you UwU shaww UwU beaw to uWu comfowt ^.^ him 
xDD And ^.^ we with sober ^w^ speed xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to OwO go ^w^ thwough 
Gloucestershire; x3 and, when xDD you come to xDD couwt, stand x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
pray, uWu in x3 youw ÚwÚ good report. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, >w< Fawstaff. I, uWu in x3 my ^w^ condition, 
Shall xDD bettew speak of xDD you than xDD you deserve. 
Exeunt aww >_> but FALSTAFF 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you xDD had >_> but x3 the >_> wit; >w< 'twewe xDD bettew than x3 youw 
ÚwÚ dukedom. ^-^ Good ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ this same xDD young sobew-bwooded ;;w;; boy xDD doth nyot 
wuv OwO me; nor :3 a x3 man ;;w;; cannyot >_< make ^.^ him ;;w;; waugh- >_> but ^w^ that's nyo >_> mawvew; 
^.^ he dwinks nyo ^.^ winye. >_> Thewe's >_< nyevew >_< nyonye of these >_> demuwe >_< boys come 
to xDD any OwO pwoof; fow >_< thin ÚwÚ dwink xDD doth UwU so over-cool uWu theiw bwood, ÚwÚ and 
x3 making UwU many :3 fish-meaws, :3 that ;;w;; they faww x3 into :3 a uWu kind of male 
green-sickness; ÚwÚ and >w< then, when ;;w;; they marry, ;;w;; they get wenches. ^-^ They 
OwO awe ÚwÚ genyewawwy foows ÚwÚ and cowawds-which x3 some of >_> us >_> shouwd be :3 too, 
>_> but fow x3 infwammation. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ shewwis-sack hath :3 a ^-^ two-fowd 
x3 opewation uWu in :3 it. ^.^ It >_> ascends ;;w;; me x3 into x3 the bwain; ^.^ dwies ;;w;; me there aww 
x3 the >_< foowish ÚwÚ and dull ÚwÚ and cwudy uWu vapouws which enviwon uWu it; x3 makes >w< it 
apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of xDD nyimbwe, x3 fiewy, ÚwÚ and 
x3 dewectabwe OwO shapes; which ^-^ dewivewed ^-^ o'ew to x3 the voice, x3 the ;;w;; tongue, 
which >_> is x3 the birth, x3 becomes :3 excewwent >_< wit. uWu The second uWu pwopewty of 
x3 youw :3 excewwent shewwis >_> is x3 the ^-^ wawming of x3 the ^-^ bwood; which x3 befowe, 
UwU cowd ÚwÚ and >_> settwed, left x3 the wivew ^-^ white ÚwÚ and pawe, which >_> is x3 the 
x3 badge of x3 pusiwwanyimity ÚwÚ and cowawdice; >_> but x3 the shewwis xDD wawms :33 it, 
ÚwÚ and x3 makes >w< it course from x3 the ^.^ inwawds to x3 the parts extremes. ^.^ It 
iwwuminyeth x3 the >w< face, ^w^ which, >_< as :3 a UwU beacon, ;;w;; gives :3 wawnying to aww x3 the 
xDD west of ÚwÚ this xDD wittwe :33 kingdom, ^w^ man, to OwO awm; ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 the ;;w;; vitaw 
ÚwÚ commonyews ÚwÚ and inland petty ;;w;; spiwits muster ;;w;; me aww to uWu theiw 
;;w;; captain, x3 the uWu heawt, who, great ÚwÚ and OwO puff'd x3 up with ÚwÚ this >_< wetinyue, 
xDD doth xDD any ^.^ deed of ÚwÚ couwage- ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this valour x3 comes of sherris. ^w^ So 
:3 that :3 skiww uWu in x3 the :33 weapon >_> is >_< nyothing ^-^ without sack, fow :3 that :33 sets 
>w< it >w< a-wowk; ÚwÚ and ^w^ weawnying, :3 a mere hoawd of gowd :33 kept ^.^ by :3 a ^.^ deviw 
>w< tiww ^-^ sack uWu commences >w< it ÚwÚ and :33 sets >w< it uWu in ;;w;; act ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ use. Hereof x3 comes 
>w< it :3 that Prince ÚwÚ Hawwy >_> is valiant; fow x3 the UwU cowd :3 bwood ^.^ he uWu did 
nyatuwawwy x3 inhewit of :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ he :33 hath, ^.^ wike lean, >_< stewiwe, ÚwÚ and 
OwO bawe land, >w< manyuwed, UwU husbanded, ÚwÚ and tiww'd, with :3 excewwent 
endeavouw of UwU dwinking ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good OwO stowe of ^.^ fewtiwe ^-^ shewwis, 
:3 that ^.^ he >_> is :33 become xDD vewy :3 hot ÚwÚ and ^w^ vawiant. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD had :3 a thousand sons, 
x3 the xDD fiwst ^w^ humanye principle UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< teach them >_> shouwd be to 
>w< fowsweaw >_< thin xDD potations ÚwÚ and to addict x3 themsewves to :33 sack. 

Entew ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

How now, Bawdowph! 
BARDOLPH. uWu The ^.^ awmy >_> is >_< dischawged aww ÚwÚ and ;;w;; gonye. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Let them ÚwÚ go. I'll ^w^ thwough Gwoucestewshiwe, ÚwÚ and there xDD wiww 
UwU I x3 visit >_< Mastew Robert Shallow, xDD Esquiwe. UwU I uWu have ^.^ him xDD awweady 
temp'ring ^-^ between x3 my finger ÚwÚ and x3 my :3 thumb, ÚwÚ and x3 showtwy xDD wiww UwU I UwU seaw 
with ^.^ him. :3 Come xDD away. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
UwU Westminstew. uWu The OwO Jewusawem >w< Chambew 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, PWINCE THOMAS ÚwÚ OF OwO CWAWENCE, PWINCE HUMPHREY ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, 
^w^ WAWWICK, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

>w< KING. >_> Nyow, wowds, >_> if ^w^ God xDD doth UwU give ^w^ successfuw >w< end 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this debate :3 that >_> bweedeth uWu at UwU ouw doows, 
We xDD wiww UwU ouw :33 youth lead on to :3 highew >w< fiewds, 
xDD And dwaw nyo :33 swowds >_> but >_> what OwO awe :33 sanctified. 
Our >_< nyavy >_> is ^w^ addwess'd, UwU ouw powew ^-^ connyected, 
Our >w< substitutes uWu in >w< absence weww ^w^ invested, 
xDD And evewything wies ^w^ wevew to UwU ouw ^w^ wish. 
Onwy ^.^ we ^.^ want :3 a xDD wittwe xDD pewsonyaw >_> stwength; 
xDD And :3 pause >_> us >w< tiww these rebels, nyow afoot, 
:3 Come undewnyeath x3 the x3 yoke of >_< guvwnment. 
WARWICK. UwU Both which ^.^ we doubt nyot >_> but x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
Shall >w< soon OwO enjoy. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; Humphwey, x3 my >_< son of :33 Gwoucestew, 
Whewe >_> is x3 the Prince x3 youw bwothew? 
PWINCE HUMPHWEY. UwU I think uWu he's >_> gonye to ^.^ hunt, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu at Windsor. 
>w< KING. xDD And >w< how ^w^ accompanyied? 
PWINCE HUMPHWEY. UwU I UwU do nyot knyow, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>w< KING. Is nyot :33 his brother, Thomas of >w< Cwawence, with him? 
PWINCE HUMPHWEY. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, ^.^ he >_> is uWu in x3 pwesence hewe. 
CLARENCE. >_> What ^.^ wouwd x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and father? 
>w< KING. Nyothing >_> but weww to ÚwÚ thee, Thomas of xDD Cwawence. 
How chance xDD thou awt nyot with x3 the Prince >w< thy bwothew? 
>w< He loves ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and xDD thou dost >_> nyegwect :3 him, :3 Thomas. 
^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 a xDD bettew :33 pwace uWu in :33 his :3 affection 
Than aww >w< thy >w< bwothews; :3 chewish :33 it, x3 my ^-^ boy, 
xDD And x3 nyobwe ;;w;; offices xDD thou uWu mayst ^w^ effect 
Of mediation, ÚwÚ aftew UwU I ^w^ am >_< dead, 
Between :33 his :33 gweatnyess ÚwÚ and >w< thy othew ^.^ bwethwen. 
Therefore x3 omit ^.^ him x3 nyot; >w< bwunt nyot :33 his xDD wuv, 
x3 Nyow wose x3 the ÚwÚ good ^w^ advantage of :33 his xDD gwace 
^-^ By ÚwÚ seeming UwU cowd ow xDD cawewess of :33 his :33 wiww; 
For ^.^ he >_> is >_> gwacious >_> if ^.^ he be observ'd. 
>w< He hath :3 a teaw fow pity ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu hand 
^w^ Open >_< as day fow mewting charity; 
ÚwÚ Yet >w< nyotwithstanding, ^.^ being uWu incens'd, ^.^ he >_> is flint; 
;;w;; As humorous >_< as UwU wintew, ÚwÚ and >_< as ^.^ sudden 
;;w;; As ^w^ fwaws UwU congeawed uWu in x3 the ^-^ spwing of x3 day. 
ÚwÚ His :33 tempew, OwO thewefowe, ^w^ must be weww observ'd. 
uWu Chide ^.^ him fow fauwts, ÚwÚ and UwU do >w< it ^.^ wevewentwy, 
x3 When xDD you >_> pewceive :33 his :3 bwood ^-^ incwin'd to mirth; 
But, ^.^ being ÚwÚ moody, UwU give ^.^ him winye ÚwÚ and ;;w;; scope 
Tiww :3 that :33 his passions, ^.^ wike :3 a OwO whawe on ground, 
Confound x3 themsewves with working. ;;w;; Weawn uWu this, Thomas, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt ^-^ pwuv :3 a ÚwÚ shewtew to >w< thy OwO fwiends, 
^-^ A ^.^ hoop of gowd to bind >w< thy bwothews x3 in, 
:33 That x3 the united vessel of uWu theiw bwood, 
Mingwed with ;;w;; venyom of :3 suggestion- 
As, force pewfowce, x3 the age xDD wiww pouw >w< it in- 
Shall >_< nyevew ÚwÚ weak, ^w^ though >w< it UwU do ^.^ wowk >_< as >w< stwong 
;;w;; As aconitum ow >_< wash ^w^ gunpowdew. 
CLARENCE. UwU I UwU shaww uWu obsewve ^.^ him with aww :3 cawe ÚwÚ and love. 
>w< KING. Why awt xDD thou nyot uWu at ^-^ Windsow with :3 him, >_> Thomas? 
CLARENCE. >w< He >_> is nyot there to-day; ^.^ he dinyes uWu in OwO Wondon. 
>w< KING. xDD And >w< how ^w^ accompanyied? ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou tell ^-^ that? 
CLARENCE. With x3 Poins, ÚwÚ and othew :33 his continyuaw fowwowews. 
>w< KING. :3 Most x3 subject >_> is x3 the UwU fattest UwU soiw to ^w^ weeds; 
xDD And xDD he, x3 the x3 nyobwe x3 image of x3 my youth, 
Is overspread with OwO them; >_< thewefowe x3 my grief 
OwO Stwetches itsewf ^w^ beyond x3 the >_> houw of death. 
uWu The :3 bwood ^.^ weeps from x3 my >_< heawt when UwU I UwU do UwU shape, 
^w^ In uWu fowms ^-^ imaginyawy, :3 th'unguided OwO days 
xDD And wotten times :3 that xDD you UwU shaww wook ;;w;; upon 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ am x3 sweeping with x3 my ÚwÚ ancestows. 
For when :33 his headstrong riot hath nyo ;;w;; cuwb, 
x3 When xDD wage ÚwÚ and :3 hot :3 bwood OwO awe :33 his ;;w;; counsewwows 
x3 When means ÚwÚ and ^.^ wavish ^w^ mannyews :3 meet together, 
>_< O, with >_> what x3 wings UwU shaww :33 his affections fwy 
Towards >w< fwonting peril ÚwÚ and x3 oppos'd UwU decay! 
WARWICK. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, xDD you wook ^w^ beyond ^.^ him quite. 
uWu The Prince >_> but x3 studies :33 his companions 
Wike :3 a ;;w;; stwange ;;w;; tongue, wherein, to ^.^ gain x3 the wanguage, 
'Tis needful :3 that x3 the UwU most xDD immodest ;;w;; wowd 
^w^ Be >_> wook'd ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ and UwU weawnt; which >_> once ;;w;; attain'd, 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess ;;w;; knyows, x3 comes to nyo further use 
OwO But to be ÚwÚ knyown ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ hated. So, ^.^ wike gwoss ^w^ tewms, 
uWu The Prince :33 wiww, uWu in x3 the pewfectnyess of time, 
;;w;; Cast x3 off :33 his >w< fowwowews; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^w^ memowy 
Shall >_< as :3 a pattewn ow :3 a UwU measuwe ^w^ wive 
^-^ By which :33 his Gwace ^w^ must mete x3 the ;;w;; wives of ÚwÚ othew, 
UwU Tuwnying x3 past ;;w;; eviws to ;;w;; advantages. 
>w< KING. 'Tis seldom when x3 the >w< bee xDD doth OwO weave her ^w^ comb 
^w^ In x3 the >_< dead cawwion. 

Entew WESTMOWEWAND 

Who's hewe? Westmowewand? 
WESTMORELAND. :3 Heawth to x3 my sovereign, ÚwÚ and x3 nyew happinyess 
:33 Added to :3 that :3 that ^w^ am to ÚwÚ dewivew! 
Prince John, x3 youw x3 son, xDD doth :3 kiss x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's >w< hand. 
Mowbray, x3 the >_> Bishop ^.^ Scwoop, >w< Hastings, ÚwÚ and all, 
^w^ Awe ^.^ bwought to x3 the correction of x3 youw law. 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyot nyow :3 a ^-^ webew's xDD swowd ÚwÚ unsheath'd, 
OwO But :3 Peace puts fowth her UwU owive :3 evewywhewe. 
uWu The ^w^ mannyew >w< how ÚwÚ this uWu action hath :33 been :3 bownye 
:3 Hewe uWu at ^.^ mowe leisure OwO may x3 youw >_> Highnyess wead, 
With every course uWu in :33 his :33 pawticuwaw. 
>w< KING. x3 O uWu Westmowewand, xDD thou awt :3 a ^-^ summew bird, 
>_< Which OwO evew uWu in x3 the ^-^ haunch of winter ^-^ sings 
uWu The ÚwÚ wifting x3 up of x3 day. 

Entew >w< HAWCOUWT 

Wook hewe's ^.^ mowe ;;w;; nyews. 
HARCOURT. Fwom >_< enyemies heaven >_< keep x3 youw :3 Majesty; 
^.^ And, when ;;w;; they stand OwO against UwU you, OwO may ;;w;; they faww 
;;w;; As UwU those :3 that UwU I ^w^ am come to tell xDD you :33 of! 
uWu The ^-^ Eaww ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand ÚwÚ and x3 the Lord xDD Bawdowph, 
With :3 a great powew of :3 Engwish ÚwÚ and of :33 Scots, 
^w^ Awe ^.^ by x3 the UwU shwieve of ^.^ Yowkshiwe ^-^ uvwthwown. 
uWu The ^w^ mannyew ÚwÚ and true order of x3 the >w< fight 
This packet, uWu pwease >w< it UwU you, x3 contains uWu at >_> wawge. 
>w< KING. xDD And ^-^ whewefowe >_> shouwd these ÚwÚ good nyews >_< make ;;w;; me >_< sick? 
Will :33 Fowtunye >_< nyevew come with both ^.^ hands >_> fuww, 
OwO But >w< wwite her >w< faiw wowds still uWu in >w< fouwest wettews? 
:33 She xDD eithew ;;w;; gives :3 a stomach ÚwÚ and nyo ÚwÚ food- 
>w< Such OwO awe x3 the OwO poow, uWu in heawth- ow >_> ewse :3 a OwO feast, 
xDD And UwU takes OwO away x3 the :3 stomach- xDD such OwO awe x3 the rich 
:33 That uWu have abundance ÚwÚ and ^.^ enjoy >w< it not. 
UwU I >_> shouwd rejoice nyow uWu at ÚwÚ this ^w^ happy nyews; 
xDD And nyow x3 my ^.^ sight ÚwÚ faiws, ÚwÚ and x3 my :3 bwain >_> is giddy. 
x3 O me! come nyeaw ;;w;; me nyow UwU I ^w^ am much ill. 
PWINCE HUMPHWEY. :3 Comfowt, x3 youw Majesty! 
CLARENCE. x3 O x3 my royal ;;w;; fathew! 
WESTMORELAND. OwO My suvweign uWu wowd, cheer x3 up yourself, wook :33 up. 
WARWICK. ^w^ Be *giggles shyly* patient, ^.^ Pwinces; xDD you UwU do ^.^ knyow these ^w^ fits 
^w^ Awe with :33 his >_> Highnyess xDD vewy :33 owdinyawy. 
;;w;; Stand from :3 him, UwU give ^.^ him air; he'ww ^w^ stwaight be well. 
CLARENCE. :3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot ^-^ wong howd x3 out these ;;w;; pangs. 
xDD Th' ^w^ incessant :3 cawe ÚwÚ and labour of :33 his ^-^ mind 
>_< Hath ;;w;; wwought x3 the muwe :3 that >_> shouwd UwU confinye >w< it uWu in 
^w^ So >_< thin :3 that >w< wife :33 wooks :33 thwough, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww bweak OwO out. 
PWINCE HUMPHWEY. uWu The OwO peopwe feaw OwO me; fow ;;w;; they UwU do uWu obsewve 
ÚwÚ Unfathew'd :3 heiws ÚwÚ and woathwy x3 biwths of :33 nyatuwe. 
uWu The seasons change uWu theiw :3 mannyews, >_< as x3 the xDD yeaw 
xDD Had >_> found x3 some ^w^ months ^-^ asweep, ÚwÚ and uWu weapt them over. 
CLARENCE. uWu The river hath thrice flow'd, nyo ebb x3 between; 
xDD And x3 the ;;w;; owd fowk, ÚwÚ Time's >_< doting x3 chwonyicwes, 
x3 Say >w< it uWu did UwU so :3 a xDD wittwe time >w< befowe 
:33 That UwU ouw great xDD gwandsiwe, Edwawd, sick'd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ died. 
WARWICK. ^w^ Speak >_< wowew, Pwinces, fow x3 the ^w^ King recovers. 
PWINCE HUMPHWEY. This :3 apopwexy xDD wiww xDD cewtain be :33 his OwO end. 
>w< KING. UwU I pray xDD you OwO take ;;w;; me up, ÚwÚ and UwU beaw ;;w;; me >w< hence 
^.^ Into x3 some othew ^.^ chambew. Softly, pway. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
UwU Westminstew. ÚwÚ Anyothew x3 chambew 

uWu The ;;w;; KING lying on :3 a bed; OwO CWAWENCE, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ^w^ WAWWICK, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews uWu in ;;w;; attendance 

>w< KING. Let there be nyo noise made, x3 my ^-^ gentwe >_< fwiends; 
OwO Unwess x3 some dull ÚwÚ and favourable uWu hand 
Will whisper uWu music to x3 my ÚwÚ weawy >w< spiwit. 
WARWICK. ;;w;; Caww fow x3 the uWu music uWu in x3 the othew uWu woom. 
>w< KING. Set ;;w;; me x3 the >_< cwown ;;w;; upon x3 my pillow hewe. 
CLARENCE. ÚwÚ His ^w^ eye >_> is hollow, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :33 changes :33 much. 
WARWICK. Wess noise! less noise! 

Entew PWINCE OwO HENWY 

>w< PWINCE. Who saw x3 the >w< Duke of x3 Cwawence? 
CLARENCE. UwU I ^w^ am UwU hewe, brother, full of heaviness. 
>w< PWINCE. How >_< nyow! Wain within doows, ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye abroad! 
How xDD doth x3 the >_> King? 
PWINCE HUMPHWEY. ;;w;; Exceeding ill. 
>w< PWINCE. ^-^ Heawd ^.^ he x3 the ÚwÚ good nyews :33 yet? Teww >w< it ^.^ him. 
PWINCE HUMPHWEY. >w< He alt'red much ;;w;; upon x3 the hearing :3 it. 
>w< PWINCE. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be >w< sick with joy, he'ww OwO wecuvw ^-^ without physic. 
WARWICK. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so much noise, x3 my lords. ÚwÚ Sweet >_< Pwince, speak ^w^ wow; 
uWu The ^w^ King x3 youw >w< fathew >_> is uWu dispos'd to OwO sweep. 
CLARENCE. Let >_> us >_< withdwaw x3 into x3 the othew uWu woom. 
WARWICK. Will't uWu pwease x3 youw Gwace to OwO go :3 awong with us? 
>w< PWINCE. No; UwU I xDD wiww sit ÚwÚ and ;;w;; watch OwO hewe ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; King. 
Exeunt aww >_> but x3 the PWINCE 
Why xDD doth x3 the >_< cwown >_< wie there ;;w;; upon :33 his ;;w;; piwwow, 
uWu Being UwU so twoubwesome :3 a bedfellow? 
x3 O polish'd perturbation! golden ^.^ cawe! 
:33 That :3 keep'st x3 the ports of >_> swumbew open uWu wide 
;;w;; To UwU many :3 a ÚwÚ watchfuw night! OwO Sweep with >w< it >_< nyow! 
ÚwÚ Yet nyot UwU so >_> sound ÚwÚ and half UwU so deepwy x3 sweet 
;;w;; As ^.^ he x3 whose ^w^ bwow with homewy ÚwÚ biggen bound 
Snores x3 out x3 the ;;w;; watch of OwO nyight. x3 O ^.^ majesty! 
x3 When xDD thou dost pinch >w< thy >w< beawew, xDD thou dost sit 
Wike :3 a rich ^-^ awmouw wown uWu in ^.^ heat of day 
:33 That scald'st with >w< safety. ^-^ By :33 his :3 gates of UwU bweath 
>_> Thewe wies :3 a :3 downy ÚwÚ feathew which stiws not. 
Did ^.^ he suspire, :3 that >w< wight ÚwÚ and weightwess down 
:33 Pewfowce ^w^ must ;;w;; muv. OwO My >_> gwacious ^.^ wowd! x3 my ;;w;; fathew! 
This :33 sweep >_> is >_> sound :33 indeed; ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a :33 sweep 
:33 That from ÚwÚ this golden ^w^ wigow hath divorc'd 
^w^ So UwU many :3 Engwish OwO kings. x3 Thy >_< due from ;;w;; me 
Is tears ÚwÚ and x3 heavy ^w^ sowwows of x3 the :3 bwood 
>_< Which nyatuwe, xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fiwiaw ;;w;; tendewnyess, 
Shaww, x3 O uWu deaw ÚwÚ fathew, x3 pay uWu thee pwenteouswy. 
OwO My >_< due from uWu thee >_> is ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ impewiaw :3 cwown, 
>_< Which, >_< as x3 immediate from >w< thy :33 pwace ÚwÚ and bwood, 
Derives itsewf to x3 me. [Putting on x3 the :33 cwown] >_> Wo :3 whewe >w< it UwU sits- 
>_< Which ^w^ God UwU shaww guard; ÚwÚ and put x3 the OwO wowwd's whole ÚwÚ stwength 
^.^ Into one giant ^.^ awm, >w< it UwU shaww nyot force 
This :3 winyeaw honour from x3 me. This from uWu thee 
Will UwU I to >_< minye OwO weave >_< as UwU 'tis left to x3 me. uWu Exit 
>w< KING. x3 Wawwick! :33 Gwoucestew! Clarence! 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ WAWWICK, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, >_> CWAWENCE 

CLARENCE. ^-^ Doth x3 the ^w^ King caww? 
WARWICK. >_> What ^.^ wouwd x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty? How fawes x3 youw Gwace? 
>w< KING. Why uWu did xDD you OwO weave ;;w;; me OwO hewe ^-^ awonye, x3 my lords? 
CLARENCE. We left x3 the Prince x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew UwU hewe, x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
Who ^.^ undewtook to sit ÚwÚ and ;;w;; watch ^.^ by OwO you. 
>w< KING. uWu The Prince of Wales! Whewe >_> is uWu he? Let ;;w;; me >_> see ^.^ him. 
>w< He >_> is nyot hewe. 
WARWICK. This doow >_> is >w< open; ^.^ he >_> is >_> gonye ÚwÚ this >_> way. 
PWINCE HUMPHWEY. >w< He ^-^ came nyot ^w^ thwough x3 the x3 chambew :3 whewe ^.^ we ^.^ stay'd. 
>w< KING. Whewe >_> is x3 the crown? Who >_> took >w< it from x3 my uWu piwwow? 
WARWICK. x3 When ^.^ we UwU withdwew, x3 my ^.^ wiege, ^.^ we left >w< it hewe. 
>w< KING. uWu The Prince hath >_> ta'en >w< it x3 hence. ^w^ Go, >_> seek ^.^ him OwO out. 
Is ^.^ he UwU so >_> hasty :3 that ^.^ he xDD doth ^.^ suppose 
OwO My :33 sweep x3 my UwU death? 
UwU Find :3 him, x3 my ;;w;; wowd of ÚwÚ Wawwick; UwU chide ^.^ him hithew. 
uWu Exit ^w^ WAWWICK 
This ÚwÚ pawt of :33 his conjoins with x3 my ÚwÚ disease 
xDD And helps to >w< end x3 me. :3 See, sons, >_> what ^.^ things xDD you UwU awe! 
How quickly ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^w^ fawws x3 into ;;w;; wevowt 
x3 When gowd x3 becomes her object! 
For ÚwÚ this x3 the >_< foowish x3 uvw-cawefuw uWu fathews 
:3 Have broke uWu theiw :33 sweep with thoughts, 
^-^ Theiw brains with care, uWu theiw bones with industwy; 
For ÚwÚ this ;;w;; they uWu have engrossed ÚwÚ and OwO piw'd x3 up 
uWu The ;;w;; cank'wed OwO heaps of xDD stwange-achieved x3 gowd; 
For ÚwÚ this ;;w;; they uWu have :33 been UwU thoughtfuw to ;;w;; invest 
^-^ Theiw xDD sons with >w< awts ÚwÚ and martial exewcises; 
UwU When, ^.^ wike x3 the :33 bee, :33 towwing from every fwowew 
uWu The virtuous x3 sweets, 
Our ;;w;; thighs with :3 wax, UwU ouw mouths with honey ^-^ pack'd, 
We ;;w;; bwing >w< it to x3 the xDD hive, x3 and, ^.^ wike x3 the uWu bees, 
^w^ Awe ^-^ muwd'wed fow UwU ouw OwO pains. This UwU bittew >_> taste 
xDD Yiewds :33 his >w< engwossments to x3 the >w< ending :33 fathew. 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ WAWWICK 

Now :3 whewe >_> is ^.^ he :3 that xDD wiww nyot xDD stay UwU so ^-^ wong 
Tiww :33 his :33 fwiend sicknyess hath ;;w;; detewmin'd me? 
WARWICK. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I >_> found x3 the Prince uWu in x3 the :3 nyext room, 
ÚwÚ Washing with ^-^ kindwy tears :33 his ^-^ gentwe cheeks, 
With xDD such :3 a >_> deep :33 demeanyouw uWu in great >_> sowwow, 
:33 That tywanny, which >_< nyevew :33 quaff'd >_> but bwood, 
Wouwd, ^.^ by beholding :3 him, uWu have >w< wash'd :33 his knyife 
With ^-^ gentwe eye-drops. >w< He >_> is xDD coming hithew. 
>w< KING. OwO But ^-^ whewefowe uWu did ^.^ he OwO take OwO away x3 the crown? 

^.^ We-entew PWINCE OwO HENWY 

>_> Wo :3 whewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. :3 Come ÚwÚ hithew to uWu me, :33 Hawwy. 
Depart x3 the chamber, OwO weave >_> us OwO hewe >_< awonye. 
Exeunt aww >_> but x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and x3 the PWINCE 
>w< PWINCE. UwU I >_< nyevew xDD thought to hear xDD you speak ;;w;; again. 
>w< KING. x3 Thy ÚwÚ wish UwU was ÚwÚ fathew, ^w^ Hawwy, to :3 that thought. 
UwU I xDD stay ^w^ too ^-^ wong ^.^ by ÚwÚ thee, UwU I ÚwÚ weawy thee. 
uWu Dost xDD thou UwU so :33 hungew fow >_< minye :33 empty >w< chaiw 
:33 That xDD thou wiwt >_< nyeeds ;;w;; invest uWu thee with x3 my honyouws 
^.^ Befowe >w< thy >_> houw be ripe? x3 O >_< foowish xDD youth! 
^.^ Thou >_< seek'st x3 the :33 gweatnyess :3 that xDD wiww UwU uvwwhewm thee. 
OwO Stay >_> but :3 a UwU wittwe, fow x3 my ;;w;; cwoud of dignity 
Is hewd from falling with UwU so xDD weak :3 a wind 
:33 That >w< it xDD wiww quickly drop; x3 my day >_> is ^w^ dim. 
^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 stow'n :3 that ^w^ which, ÚwÚ aftew x3 some x3 few houws, 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ thinye ^-^ without >_> offense; ÚwÚ and uWu at x3 my :33 death 
^.^ Thou x3 hast OwO seaw'd x3 up x3 my ;;w;; expectation. 
x3 Thy >w< wife uWu did UwU manyifest xDD thou wov'dst ;;w;; me >_> nyot, 
xDD And xDD thou wiwt uWu have ;;w;; me ^-^ die x3 assuw'd of :3 it. 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ hid'st :3 a thousand ÚwÚ daggews uWu in >w< thy thoughts, 
>_< Which xDD thou x3 hast uWu whetted on >w< thy >_< stony uWu heawt, 
;;w;; To x3 stab uWu at half >w< an >_> houw of x3 my life. 
What, ;;w;; canst xDD thou nyot ÚwÚ fowbeaw ;;w;; me half >w< an :3 houw? 
UwU Then get uWu thee >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and dig x3 my :3 gwave xDD thysewf; 
xDD And bid x3 the ^.^ mewwy UwU bewws OwO wing to ^.^ thinye ear 
:33 That xDD thou awt >w< cwownyed, nyot :3 that UwU I ^w^ am uWu dead. 
Let aww x3 the tears :3 that >_> shouwd UwU bedew x3 my ^-^ heawse 
^w^ Be ^.^ dwops of bawm to >_> sanctify >w< thy head; 
Onwy ÚwÚ compound ;;w;; me with :3 fowgotten dust; 
Give :3 that which uWu gave uWu thee >w< wife >w< unto x3 the ÚwÚ wowms. 
Pluck down x3 my OwO officews, bweak x3 my decwees; 
For nyow :3 a time >_> is come to ÚwÚ mock uWu at fowm- 
ÚwÚ Hawwy x3 the >_< Fifth >_> is UwU cwown'd. ^-^ Up, uWu vanyity: 
Down, royal state. All xDD you sage ^w^ counsewwows, x3 hence. 
xDD And to x3 the :3 Engwish court assemble now, 
Fwom every ^-^ wegion, >_< apes of >_< idwenyess. 
>_> Nyow, OwO nyeighbouw x3 confinyes, OwO puwge xDD you of x3 youw OwO scum. 
:3 Have xDD you :3 a ruffian :3 that xDD wiww x3 sweaw, dwink, xDD dance, 
>_< Wevew x3 the night, wob, muwdew, ÚwÚ and :3 commit 
uWu The :3 owdest :3 sins x3 the newest uWu kind of ways? 
^w^ Be UwU happy, ^.^ he xDD wiww >_> twoubwe xDD you nyo more. 
England UwU shaww :3 doubwe gild :33 his >w< twebwe UwU guiwt; 
England UwU shaww UwU give ^.^ him office, honyouw, might; 
For x3 the :3 fifth ÚwÚ Hawwy from uWu cuwb'd x3 wicense OwO pwucks 
uWu The ;;w;; muzzwe of ;;w;; westwaint, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< wiwd dog 
Shall >w< fwesh :33 his ^.^ tooth on every innocent. 
x3 O x3 my poor :33 kingdom, >w< sick with ÚwÚ civiw bwows! 
x3 When :3 that x3 my :3 cawe couwd nyot :3 withhowd >w< thy UwU wiots, 
>_> What wiwt xDD thou UwU do when riot >_> is >w< thy >_> cawe? 
>_< O, xDD thou wiwt be :3 a wiwdewnyess ;;w;; again. 
Peopwed with ^-^ wowves, >w< thy ;;w;; owd inhabitants! 
>w< PWINCE. >_< O, UwU pawdon uWu me, x3 my wiege! OwO But fow x3 my ^-^ teaws, 
uWu The moist impediments >w< unto x3 my ;;w;; speech, 
UwU I xDD had forestall'd ÚwÚ this uWu deaw ÚwÚ and >_> deep ^.^ webuke 
Ere xDD you with grief xDD had ^-^ spoke ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD had heard 
uWu The course of >w< it UwU so far. >_> Thewe >_> is x3 youw :3 cwown, 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that ^-^ weaws x3 the >_< cwown immortally 
OwO Wong xDD guawd >w< it >w< youws! UwU [Knyeewing] ;;w;; If UwU I affect >w< it ^.^ mowe 
Than >_< as x3 youw honour ÚwÚ and >_< as x3 youw OwO wenyown, 
Let ;;w;; me nyo ^.^ mowe from ÚwÚ this ^.^ obedience >_< wise, 
>_< Which x3 my UwU most inward true ÚwÚ and duteous ^w^ spiwit 
Teacheth ÚwÚ this x3 pwostwate ÚwÚ and exterior >_< bending! 
^w^ God >_> witnyess with uWu me, when UwU I OwO hewe ^-^ came uWu in 
xDD And >_> found nyo course of UwU bweath within x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, 
How UwU cowd >w< it >w< stwuck x3 my :33 heawt! ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do ^w^ feign, 
>_< O, wet ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my xDD pwesent wiwdnyess >_> die, 
xDD And >_< nyevew ^w^ wive to x3 show x3 th' xDD incweduwous wowwd 
uWu The x3 nyobwe change :3 that UwU I uWu have >_< puwposed! 
OwO Coming to wook on UwU you, uWu thinking xDD you >w< dead- 
xDD And >_< dead almost, x3 my ^.^ wiege, to think xDD you were- 
UwU I x3 spake >w< unto ÚwÚ this >_< cwown >_< as xDD having sense, 
xDD And OwO thus upbwaided >w< it: 'The :3 cawe on uWu thee depending 
>_< Hath ÚwÚ fed ;;w;; upon x3 the >w< body of x3 my father; 
Therefore xDD thou best of gowd awt worst of ;;w;; gowd. 
ÚwÚ Othew, less OwO finye uWu in :33 cawat, >_> is ^.^ mowe pwecious, 
^.^ Pwesewving >w< wife uWu in med'cinye potable; 
OwO But UwU thou, UwU most uWu finye, UwU most OwO honyouw'd, UwU most wenyown'd, 
Hast eat >w< thy bearer ^.^ up.' Thus, x3 my UwU most royal ^.^ wiege, 
;;w;; Accusing :33 it, UwU I put >w< it on x3 my head, 
;;w;; To >_> twy with OwO it- >_< as with >w< an ;;w;; enyemy 
:33 That xDD had >w< befowe x3 my OwO face ^-^ muwd'wed x3 my ^-^ fathew- 
uWu The ^-^ quawwew of :3 a true ^-^ inhewitow. 
OwO But >_> if >w< it uWu did ÚwÚ infect x3 my :3 bwood with joy, 
:33 Ow sweww x3 my >_< thoughts to xDD any ;;w;; stwain of >_> pwide; 
;;w;; If xDD any rebel ow :33 vain ^w^ spiwit of >_< minye 
Did with x3 the least :3 affection of :3 a wewcome 
Give entewtainment to x3 the ^w^ might of :33 it, 
Let ^w^ God fow OwO evew >_< keep >w< it from x3 my head, 
xDD And >_< make ;;w;; me >_< as x3 the poowest ^.^ vassaw ;;w;; is, 
:33 That xDD doth with OwO awe ÚwÚ and tewwow ^w^ knyeew to :3 it! 
>w< KING. x3 O x3 my x3 son, 
^w^ God put >w< it uWu in >w< thy ^-^ mind to OwO take >w< it hence, 
:33 That xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst x3 win x3 the ^.^ mowe >w< thy father's xDD wuv, 
x3 Pweading UwU so wisely uWu in UwU excuse of :3 it! 
:3 Come hithew, Hawwy; sit xDD thou ^.^ by x3 my ^.^ bed, 
xDD And heaw, UwU I >_< think, x3 the xDD vewy ^-^ watest counsel 
:33 That OwO evew UwU I UwU shaww breathe. ^w^ God ;;w;; knyows, x3 my x3 son, 
^-^ By >_> what uWu by-paths ÚwÚ and ^.^ indiwect cwook'd ways 
UwU I >w< met ÚwÚ this >_< cwown; ÚwÚ and UwU I mysewf ^.^ knyow weww 
How twoubwesome >w< it sat ;;w;; upon x3 my head: 
;;w;; To uWu thee >w< it UwU shaww descend with xDD bettew ^w^ quiet, 
uWu Bettew :33 opinyion, xDD bettew ^-^ confiwmation; 
For aww x3 the UwU soiw of x3 the achievement xDD goes 
With ;;w;; me x3 into x3 the ;;w;; eawth. ^.^ It ^w^ seem'd uWu in ;;w;; me 
OwO But >_< as >w< an honour ^-^ snyatch'd with UwU boist'wous xDD hand; 
xDD And UwU I xDD had UwU many UwU wiving to x3 upbwaid 
OwO My ^.^ gain of >w< it ^.^ by uWu theiw ^w^ assistances; 
>_< Which x3 daiwy ^-^ gwew to ^-^ quawwew ÚwÚ and to bwoodshed, 
^w^ Wounding ^.^ supposed peace. All these bold OwO feaws 
^.^ Thou seest with peril UwU I uWu have OwO answewed; 
For aww x3 my OwO weign hath :33 been >_> but >_< as :3 a scene 
UwU Acting :3 that awgument. xDD And nyow x3 my :33 death 
uWu Changes x3 the ^-^ mood; fow >_> what uWu in ;;w;; me UwU was >w< puwchas'd 
Fawws ;;w;; upon uWu thee uWu in :3 a ^.^ mowe fairer sort; 
^w^ So xDD thou x3 the gawwand ^.^ weaw'st ^.^ successivewy. 
Yet, ^w^ though xDD thou OwO stand'st ^.^ mowe >_< suwe than UwU I couwd UwU do, 
^.^ Thou awt nyot >w< fiwm UwU enyough, xDD since griefs OwO awe green; 
xDD And aww x3 my OwO fwiends, which xDD thou ^w^ must >_< make >w< thy OwO fwiends, 
:3 Have >_> but uWu theiw ^w^ stings ÚwÚ and teeth x3 nyewwy >_> ta'en out; 
^-^ By x3 whose UwU feww >w< wowking UwU I UwU was xDD fiwst advanc'd, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 whose powew UwU I weww ^w^ might uWu wodge :3 a feaw 
;;w;; To be again >w< dispwac'd; which to >_> avoid, 
UwU I :3 cut them :33 off; ÚwÚ and xDD had :3 a OwO puwpose nyow 
;;w;; To lead x3 out UwU many to x3 the Holy Land, 
Lest xDD west ÚwÚ and lying still ^w^ might >_< make them wook 
Too nyeaw >w< unto x3 my state. >_< Thewefowe, x3 my ^w^ Hawwy, 
^w^ Be >w< it >w< thy course to >w< busy ^-^ giddy minds 
With :33 foweign quarrels, :3 that xDD action, >w< hence :3 bownye ^.^ out, 
^-^ May uWu waste x3 the ^w^ memowy of x3 the xDD fowmew days. 
uWu Mowe ^.^ wouwd I, >_> but x3 my >w< wungs OwO awe wasted UwU so 
:33 That ÚwÚ stwength of ÚwÚ speech >_> is ;;w;; uttewwy >w< denyied x3 me. 
How UwU I ^-^ came ^.^ by x3 the :3 cwown, x3 O :33 God, fowgive; 
xDD And gwant >w< it OwO may with uWu thee uWu in true uWu peace x3 wive! 
>w< PWINCE. OwO My >_> gwacious ^.^ wiege, 
>_> You ^.^ won :33 it, ÚwÚ wowe :33 it, :33 kept :33 it, uWu gave >w< it OwO me; 
UwU Then uWu pwain ÚwÚ and >w< wight ^w^ must x3 my >w< possession be; 
>_< Which UwU I with ^.^ mowe than with :3 a ^w^ common :33 pain 
^w^ 'Gainst aww x3 the wowwd xDD wiww >w< wightfuwwy x3 maintain. 

Entew PWINCE >_< JOHN ÚwÚ OF >_> WANCASTEW, ^w^ WAWWICK, LORDS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

>w< KING. x3 Wook, look, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 my John of Lancaster. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. Heawth, ÚwÚ peace, ÚwÚ and happinyess, to x3 my royal ;;w;; fathew! 
>w< KING. ^.^ Thou x3 bwing'st ;;w;; me happinyess ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ peace, >_< son John; 
OwO But :33 heawth, awack, with youthfuw x3 wings >_> is fwown 
Fwom ÚwÚ this OwO bawe :33 withew'd ÚwÚ twunk. >_> Upon >w< thy ^.^ sight 
OwO My ^-^ wowwdwy business x3 makes :3 a UwU pewiod. 
Whewe >_> is x3 my Lord of ^w^ Wawwick? 
>w< PWINCE. OwO My Lord of x3 Wawwick! 
>w< KING. ^-^ Doth xDD any xDD nyame xDD pawticuwaw OwO bewong 
uWu Unto x3 the ;;w;; wodging :3 whewe UwU I xDD fiwst uWu did ^w^ swoon? 
WARWICK. 'Tis ^w^ caww'd >_< Jewusawem, x3 my x3 nyobwe OwO wowd. 
>w< KING. Laud be to uWu God! Even there x3 my >w< wife ^w^ must OwO end. 
^.^ It hath :33 been ^.^ pwophesied to ;;w;; me UwU many years, 
UwU I >_> shouwd nyot ^-^ die >_> but uWu in ^.^ Jewusawem; 
>_< Which vainwy UwU I ^-^ suppos'd x3 the Holy >_< Wand. 
OwO But UwU beaw ;;w;; me to :3 that ;;w;; chambew; there I'll wie; 
^w^ In :3 that OwO Jewusawem UwU shaww ÚwÚ Hawwy die. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Gloucestershire. uWu SHAWWOW'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ^-^ FAWSTAFF, uWu BAWDOWPH, ÚwÚ and ^.^ PAGE 

x3 SHAWWOW. ^-^ By >_> cock ÚwÚ and ^-^ pie, ^w^ siw, xDD you UwU shaww nyot OwO away to-night. 
What, >_< Davy, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> You ^w^ must UwU excuse uWu me, >_< Mastew Robert :3 Shawwow. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU excuse uWu you; xDD you UwU shaww nyot be excus'd; excuses 
UwU shaww nyot be ^-^ admitted; there >_> is nyo UwU excuse UwU shaww serve; xDD you UwU shaww 
nyot be ^-^ excus'd. Why, ÚwÚ Davy! 

Entew >_< DAVY 

>_> DAVY. Here, sir. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >_< Davy, >_< Davy, >_< Davy, >_> Davy; wet ;;w;; me see, >_> Davy; wet ;;w;; me see, 
>_> Davy; wet ;;w;; me >_> see- >w< yea, marry, ;;w;; Wiwwiam cook, bid ^.^ him come hithew. 
Sir John, xDD you UwU shaww nyot be ^-^ excus'd. 
>_> DAVY. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, thus: UwU those precepts ;;w;; cannyot be ^-^ sewved; x3 and, 
OwO again, >_< siw- UwU shaww ^.^ we ;;w;; sow x3 the headland with wheat? 
x3 SHAWWOW. With red ÚwÚ wheat, OwO Davy. OwO But fow ;;w;; Wiwwiam ;;w;; cook- OwO awe there nyo 
xDD young ^w^ pigeons? 
>_> DAVY. Yes, sir. :3 Hewe >_> is nyow x3 the UwU smith's ^-^ nyote fow ^-^ shoeing ÚwÚ and 
pwough-iwons. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Let >w< it be :3 cast, ÚwÚ and paid. Sir John, xDD you UwU shaww nyot be 
x3 excused. 
>_> DAVY. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, :3 a x3 nyew >_> wink to x3 the ^-^ bucket ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be uWu had; x3 and, 
^w^ siw, UwU do xDD you >_> mean to ÚwÚ stop xDD any of ^-^ Wiwwiam's UwU wages about x3 the ^-^ sack ^.^ he 
wost x3 the othew day uWu at >_> Hinckwey uWu faiw? 
x3 SHAWWOW. >_> 'A UwU shaww answew :3 it. ;;w;; Some xDD pigeons, >_< Davy, :3 a coupwe of 
>_< showt-wegg'd hens, :3 a UwU joint of >_< mutton, ÚwÚ and xDD any OwO pwetty xDD wittwe >w< tiny 
x3 kickshaws, tell ;;w;; Wiwwiam ^w^ cook. 
>_> DAVY. ^-^ Doth x3 the x3 man of >w< waw xDD stay aww night, UwU siw? 
x3 SHAWWOW. Yea, >_> Davy; UwU I xDD wiww use ^.^ him well. ^-^ A :33 fwiend :33 i' x3 th' court >_> is 
xDD bettew than :3 a ÚwÚ penny uWu in purse. ^w^ Use :33 his ;;w;; men weww, >_> Davy; fow ;;w;; they 
OwO awe uWu awwant knyaves ÚwÚ and xDD wiww :33 backbite. 
>_> DAVY. No xDD wowse than ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; backbitten, siw; fow ;;w;; they uWu have 
marvellous fouw linen. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Weww ;;w;; conceited, Davy- about >w< thy business, OwO Davy. 
>_> DAVY. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, to >_< countenyance ;;w;; Wiwwiam Visor of UwU Woncot 
OwO against :3 Cwement >w< Pewkes ^.^ o' x3 th' hiww. 
x3 SHAWWOW. There, >_> is UwU many complaints, >_< Davy, OwO against :3 that Visow. :33 That 
Visor >_> is >w< an uWu awwant ^-^ knyave, on x3 my knowledge. 
>_> DAVY. UwU I gwant x3 youw :33 wowship :3 that ^.^ he >_> is :3 a ^-^ knyave, siw; >_> but yet ^w^ God 
OwO fowbid, ^w^ siw, >_> but :3 a x3 knyave >_> shouwd uWu have x3 some >_< countenyance uWu at :33 his 
^-^ fwiend's xDD wequest. ^-^ An xDD honyest ^w^ man, ^w^ siw, >_> is able to speak fow 
himsewf, when :3 a x3 knyave >_> is not. UwU I uWu have sewv'd x3 youw :33 wowship OwO twuwy, 
^w^ siw, ÚwÚ this eight uWu yeaws; >w< an UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> once ow twice uWu in :3 a quarter 
UwU beaw x3 out :3 a x3 knyave OwO against >w< an xDD honyest ^w^ man, UwU I uWu have >_> but :3 a xDD vewy xDD wittwe 
cwedit with x3 youw UwU wowship. uWu The x3 knyave >_> is >_< minye xDD honyest fwiend, siw; 
OwO thewefowe, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, wet ^.^ him be ;;w;; countenyanc'd. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Go >w< to; UwU I >_> say ^.^ he UwU shaww uWu have nyo wrong. Wook about, 
>_> DAVY. ;;w;; [Exit ;;w;; DAVY] Whewe OwO awe UwU you, Sir ^w^ John? ^.^ Come, come, come, x3 off 
with x3 youw uWu boots. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand, >_< Mastew ^.^ Bawdowph. 
BARDOLPH. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see x3 youw UwU wowship. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU I >_> thank uWu thee with aww x3 my uWu heawt, uWu kind >_< Mastew ^.^ Bawdowph. 
:33 [To x3 the xDD PAGE] xDD And ;;w;; wewcome, x3 my ;;w;; taww UwU fewwow. ^.^ Come, Sir OwO John. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. I'll ;;w;; fowwow UwU you, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew Robert :3 Shawwow. 
;;w;; [Exit ^.^ SHAWWOW] xDD Bawdowph, wook to UwU ouw :33 howses. UwU [Exeunt ^.^ BAWDOWPH 
ÚwÚ and xDD PAGE] ;;w;; If UwU I :3 wewe ;;w;; sawed x3 into ^w^ quantities, UwU I >_> shouwd >_< make fouw 
^.^ dozen of xDD such ÚwÚ beawded :3 hewmits' ÚwÚ staves >_< as >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a 
;;w;; wondewfuw ^.^ thing to >_> see x3 the semblable cohewence of :33 his men's 
;;w;; spiwits ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ his. >_> They, ^.^ by OwO obsewving of :3 him, UwU do UwU beaw x3 themsewves 
^.^ wike >_< foowish UwU justices: xDD he, ^.^ by convewsing with ÚwÚ them, >_> is turned 
x3 into :3 a UwU justice-wike uWu sewving-man. ^-^ Theiw ;;w;; spiwits OwO awe UwU so mawwied uWu in 
conjunction with x3 the x3 pawticipation of >w< society :3 that ;;w;; they ^.^ fwock 
togethew uWu in ^.^ consent, ^.^ wike UwU so UwU many >w< wiwd ^.^ geese. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD had :3 a >_> suit to 
>_< Mastew Shallow, UwU I ^.^ wouwd humouw :33 his ;;w;; men with x3 the ;;w;; imputation of 
^.^ being nyeaw uWu theiw mastew; >_> if to :33 his men, UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 cuwwy with >_< Mastew 
>_< Shawwow :3 that nyo x3 man couwd xDD bettew ÚwÚ command :33 his xDD sewvants. ^.^ It >_> is 
xDD cewtain :3 that xDD eithew uWu wise :33 beawing ow ÚwÚ ignyowant xDD cawwiage >_> is ;;w;; caught, 
>_< as ;;w;; men OwO take ^.^ diseases, one of another; >_< thewefowe wet ;;w;; men OwO take :3 heed 
of uWu theiw UwU company. UwU I xDD wiww >w< devise ;;w;; mattew enough x3 out of ÚwÚ this >_< Shawwow 
to >_< keep Prince ÚwÚ Hawwy uWu in continyuaw :33 waughtew x3 the UwU weawing x3 out of six 
:33 fashions, which >_> is fouw ^w^ tewms, ow >w< two ;;w;; actions; ÚwÚ and xDD 'a UwU shaww laugh 
^-^ without :33 intewvawwums. >_< O, >w< it >_> is much :3 that :3 a >_< wie with :3 a :3 swight 
;;w;; oath, ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD jest with :3 a >_> sad ^w^ bwow xDD wiww UwU do with :3 a fewwow :3 that >_< nyevew 
xDD had x3 the ache uWu in :33 his shoulders! >_< O, xDD you UwU shaww >_> see ^.^ him laugh >w< tiww 
:33 his OwO face be ^.^ wike :3 a wet uWu cwoak :33 iww laid ^-^ up! 
x3 SHAWWOW. :33 [Within] Sir John! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I come, >_< Mastew >w< Shawwow; UwU I come, >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. 
uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
UwU Westminstew. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

OwO Entew, ;;w;; sevewawwy, ^w^ WAWWICK, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< WOWD ;;w;; CHIEF ^w^ JUSTICE 

WARWICK. How now, x3 my Lord :33 Chief Justice; :33 whithew ÚwÚ away? 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. How xDD doth x3 the >_> King? 
WARWICK. ;;w;; Exceeding well; :33 his ÚwÚ cawes OwO awe nyow aww ended. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I hope, nyot uWu dead. 
WARWICK. He's wawk'd x3 the uWu way of >_< nyatuwe; 
xDD And to UwU ouw uWu puwposes ^.^ he ;;w;; wives nyo more. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I ^.^ wouwd :33 his ;;w;; Majesty xDD had ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me with ^.^ him. 
uWu The OwO sewvice :3 that UwU I :33 twuwy uWu did :33 his >w< wife 
>_< Hath left ;;w;; me open to aww ^-^ injuwies. 
WARWICK. >w< Indeed, UwU I think x3 the xDD young x3 king loves xDD you not. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ he xDD doth >_> nyot, ÚwÚ and UwU do awm mysewf 
;;w;; To wewcome x3 the condition of x3 the time, 
>_< Which ;;w;; cannyot wook ^.^ mowe x3 hideouswy ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me 
Than UwU I uWu have drawn >w< it uWu in x3 my OwO fantasy. 

Entew >_> WANCASTEW, OwO CWAWENCE, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, 
>_< WESTMOWEWAND, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

WARWICK. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the x3 heavy x3 issue of >_< dead :33 Hawwy. 
x3 O :3 that x3 the UwU wiving ÚwÚ Hawwy xDD had x3 the xDD tempew 
Of xDD he, x3 the worst of these >w< thwee gentlemen! 
How UwU many nyobwes xDD then >_> shouwd howd uWu theiw pwaces 
:33 That ^w^ must strike saiw to ;;w;; spiwits of ^-^ viwe sowt! 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. x3 O :33 God, UwU I feaw aww xDD wiww be >w< uvwtuwn'd. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. ^-^ Good morrow, xDD cousin Wawwick, ÚwÚ good :3 mowwow. 
GWOUCESTEW ^w^ & CLARENCE. ^-^ Good morrow, :33 cousin. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. We :3 meet ^.^ wike ;;w;; men :3 that xDD had fowgot to >_< speak. 
WARWICK. We UwU do wemembew; >_> but UwU ouw :33 awgument 
Is aww ^w^ too x3 heavy to ^w^ admit much ^-^ tawk. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. xDD Weww, uWu peace be with ^.^ him :3 that hath UwU made >_> us xDD heavy! 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. :3 Peace be with us, xDD west ^.^ we be heavier! 
PWINCE HUMPHWEY. >_< O, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you uWu have wost :3 a :33 fwiend :33 indeed; 
xDD And UwU I dawe >_< sweaw xDD you :3 bowwow nyot :3 that OwO face 
Of ÚwÚ seeming ^.^ sowwow- >w< it >_> is >_< suwe x3 youw own. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. ;;w;; Though nyo x3 man be x3 assuw'd >_> what xDD gwace to ^w^ find, 
>_> You stand uWu in :3 cowdest ;;w;; expectation. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the ÚwÚ sowwiew; ^.^ wouwd >w< 'twewe othewwise. 
CLARENCE. xDD Weww, xDD you ^w^ must nyow speak Sir John Falstaff fair; 
>_< Which ÚwÚ swims OwO against x3 youw stweam of ÚwÚ quawity. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. ÚwÚ Sweet Pwinces, >_> what UwU I ^-^ did, UwU I uWu did uWu in honyouw, 
UwU Wed ^.^ by x3 th' impartial ÚwÚ conduct of x3 my ^.^ souw; 
xDD And >_< nyevew UwU shaww xDD you >_> see :3 that UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ beg 
^-^ A ^-^ wagged ÚwÚ and forestall'd OwO wemission. 
;;w;; If uWu twuth ÚwÚ and ^w^ upwight innocency fail uWu me, 
I'll to x3 the ^w^ King x3 my >_< mastew :3 that >_> is >_< dead, 
xDD And tell ^.^ him who hath sent ;;w;; me ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ him. 
WARWICK. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the UwU Pwince. 

Entew ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE >_< FIFTH, ^w^ attended 

;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. ^-^ Good morrow, ÚwÚ and ^w^ God :3 save x3 youw Majesty! 
>w< KING. This x3 nyew ÚwÚ and gowgeous OwO gawment, ^.^ majesty, 
x3 Sits nyot UwU so ^w^ easy on ;;w;; me >_< as xDD you UwU think. 
x3 Bwothews, xDD you x3 mix x3 youw >_> sadnyess with x3 some ;;w;; feaw. 
This >_> is x3 the Engwish, nyot x3 the Turkish >_> couwt; 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< Amuwath >w< an >_< Amuwath UwU succeeds, 
OwO But ÚwÚ Hawwy :33 Hawwy. ÚwÚ Yet be :3 sad, ÚwÚ good OwO bwothews, 
For, ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ faith, >w< it xDD vewy weww x3 becomes OwO you. 
OwO Sowwow UwU so ÚwÚ woyawwy uWu in xDD you >_> appeaws 
:33 That UwU I xDD wiww deepwy put x3 the fashion ;;w;; on, 
xDD And ^-^ weaw >w< it uWu in x3 my ;;w;; heawt. Why, >w< then, be OwO sad; 
OwO But entertain nyo ^.^ mowe of :33 it, ÚwÚ good OwO bwothews, 
Than :3 a UwU joint buwden laid ;;w;; upon >_> us all. 
For uWu me, ^.^ by ^.^ heaven, UwU I bid xDD you be UwU assuw'd, 
I'll be x3 youw >w< fathew ÚwÚ and x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew :3 too; 
Let ;;w;; me >_> but UwU beaw x3 youw xDD wuv, I'll UwU beaw x3 youw cares. 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD weep :3 that Harry's >_< dead, ÚwÚ and UwU so xDD wiww x3 I; 
OwO But ÚwÚ Hawwy ;;w;; wives :3 that UwU shaww convert UwU those tears 
^-^ By ^w^ nyumbew x3 into >_> houws of ÚwÚ happinyess. 
BROTHERS. We UwU hope nyo ^-^ othewwise from x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
>w< KING. >_> You aww wook OwO stwangewy on OwO me; ÚwÚ and xDD you :3 most. 
>_> You awe, UwU I >_< think, x3 assuw'd UwU I wuv xDD you not. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I ^w^ am UwU assuw'd, >_> if UwU I be UwU measuw'd ÚwÚ wightwy, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; Majesty hath nyo >w< just cause to ^-^ hate x3 me. 
>w< KING. uWu Nyo? 
How ^w^ might :3 a >_> pwince of x3 my great hopes x3 fowget 
^w^ So great ^w^ indignyities xDD you laid ;;w;; upon me? 
What, rate, webuke, ÚwÚ and roughly >_> send to pwison, 
xDD Th' x3 immediate heir of England! Was ÚwÚ this xDD easy? 
^-^ May ÚwÚ this be >w< wash'd uWu in ^w^ Wethe ÚwÚ and fowgotten? 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I xDD then uWu did use x3 the ÚwÚ pewson of x3 youw father; 
uWu The x3 image of :33 his powew uWu way xDD then uWu in OwO me; 
xDD And uWu in x3 th' adminyistwation of :33 his waw, 
Whiwes UwU I UwU was >w< busy fow x3 the commonwealth, 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess ^w^ pweased to x3 fowget x3 my pwace, 
uWu The ^.^ majesty ÚwÚ and powew of law ÚwÚ and justice, 
uWu The x3 image of x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ whom UwU I presented, 
xDD And >w< stwuck ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my xDD vewy uWu seat of >_> judgment; 
^w^ Wheweon, >_< as >w< an offender to x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, 
UwU I uWu gave bold uWu way to x3 my ÚwÚ authowity 
xDD And uWu did :3 commit OwO you. ;;w;; If x3 the ^.^ deed :3 wewe UwU iww, 
^w^ Be xDD you :3 contented, UwU weawing nyow x3 the garland, 
;;w;; To uWu have :3 a >_< son uWu set x3 youw decrees uWu at >w< nyought, 
;;w;; To pluck down justice from x3 youw x3 awfuw ^.^ bench, 
;;w;; To uWu twip x3 the course of waw, ÚwÚ and >w< bwunt x3 the xDD swowd 
:33 That ^-^ guawds x3 the uWu peace ÚwÚ and :33 safety of x3 youw ÚwÚ pewson; 
Nyay, >_> mowe, to :33 spuwn uWu at x3 youw UwU most royal ÚwÚ image, 
xDD And ÚwÚ mock x3 youw workings uWu in :3 a second body. 
x3 Question x3 youw royal thoughts, >_< make x3 the case OwO youws; 
^w^ Be nyow x3 the ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and UwU pwopose :3 a son; 
>w< Heaw x3 youw UwU own dignity UwU so much x3 pwofan'd, 
xDD See x3 youw UwU most :3 dweadfuw UwU waws UwU so >_< woosewy ;;w;; swighted, 
ÚwÚ Behowd >_> youwsewf UwU so ^.^ by :3 a >_< son disdain'd; 
xDD And xDD then imagine ;;w;; me :3 taking x3 youw ÚwÚ pawt 
^.^ And, uWu in x3 youw x3 powew, soft silencing x3 youw OwO son. 
>w< Aftew ÚwÚ this UwU cowd :3 considewance, :33 sentence OwO me; 
^.^ And, >_< as xDD you OwO awe :3 a OwO king, speak uWu in x3 youw >w< state 
>_> What UwU I uWu have donye :3 that xDD misbecame x3 my pwace, 
OwO My pewson, ow x3 my >w< wiege's suvweignty. 
>w< KING. >_> You OwO awe wight, x3 Justice, ÚwÚ and xDD you >w< weigh ÚwÚ this well; 
Therefore still UwU beaw x3 the ^w^ bawance ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ swowd; 
xDD And UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ wish x3 youw honyouws OwO may incwease 
Tiww xDD you UwU do ^w^ wive to >_> see :3 a >_< son of >_< minye 
^-^ Offend UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU obey UwU you, >_< as UwU I ^.^ did. 
^w^ So UwU shaww UwU I ^w^ wive to speak x3 my father's x3 wowds: 
:3 'Happy ^w^ am UwU I :3 that uWu have :3 a x3 man UwU so bold 
:33 That x3 dawes UwU do justice on x3 my OwO pwopew son; 
xDD And nyot less UwU happy, xDD having xDD such :3 a >_< son 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ dewivew x3 up :33 his :33 gweatnyess UwU so 
^.^ Into x3 the ^.^ hands of ^-^ justice.' >_> You uWu did :3 commit OwO me; 
For which UwU I UwU do :3 commit x3 into x3 youw uWu hand 
xDD Th' OwO unstainyed xDD swowd :3 that xDD you uWu have ;;w;; us'd to bear; 
With ÚwÚ this >_> wemembwance- :3 that xDD you use x3 the same 
With x3 the ^.^ wike >w< bowd, >_< just, ÚwÚ and impartial ^w^ spiwit 
;;w;; As xDD you uWu have donye uWu 'gainst x3 me. >_> Thewe >_> is x3 my >w< hand. 
>_> You UwU shaww be >_< as :3 a >w< fathew to x3 my uWu youth; 
OwO My uWu voice UwU shaww >_> sound >_< as xDD you UwU do prompt >_< minye ^-^ eaw; 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww >_< stoop ÚwÚ and humble x3 my x3 intents 
;;w;; To x3 youw x3 weww-pwactis'd uWu wise diwections. 
^.^ And, Princes all, ^-^ bewieve uWu me, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
OwO My >w< fathew >_> is >_> gonye >w< wiwd x3 into :33 his ^-^ gwave, 
For uWu in :33 his tomb >_< wie x3 my ÚwÚ affections; 
xDD And with :33 his ;;w;; spiwits sadwy UwU I ^-^ suwvive, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ mock x3 the expectation of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
;;w;; To frustrate x3 pwophecies, ÚwÚ and to x3 waze x3 out 
^.^ Wotten :33 opinyion, who hath ^-^ wwit ;;w;; me down 
>w< Aftew x3 my >_< seeming. uWu The >_< tide of :3 bwood uWu in ;;w;; me 
>_< Hath x3 pwoudwy flow'd uWu in vanyity >w< tiww now. 
Now xDD doth >w< it turn ÚwÚ and ebb back to x3 the :33 sea, 
Whewe >w< it UwU shaww mingwe with x3 the >w< state of floods, 
xDD And fwow henceforth uWu in formal :33 majesty. 
Now caww ^.^ we UwU ouw xDD high court of parliament; 
xDD And wet >_> us choose xDD such x3 wimbs of x3 nyobwe counsew, 
:33 That x3 the great >w< body of UwU ouw >w< state OwO may OwO go 
^w^ In equal rank with x3 the best guvwn'd nation; 
:33 That waw, ow ÚwÚ peace, ow both uWu at ^w^ once, OwO may be 
;;w;; As ^.^ things >_> acquainted ÚwÚ and ^.^ famiwiaw to us; 
^w^ In which UwU you, ÚwÚ fathew, UwU shaww uWu have ÚwÚ fowemost >w< hand. 
Our ;;w;; cowonyation :33 donye, ^.^ we xDD wiww OwO accite, 
;;w;; As UwU I >w< befowe rememb'red, aww UwU ouw ^w^ state; 
^.^ And- ^w^ God ^.^ consignying to x3 my ÚwÚ good >w< intents- 
No >_> pwince nor peer UwU shaww uWu have >w< just cause to say, 
^w^ God showten Harry's ^w^ happy >w< wife one x3 day. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
Gloucestershire. uWu SHAWWOW'S orchard 

Entew ^-^ FAWSTAFF, ;;w;; SHAWWOW, x3 SIWENCE, uWu BAWDOWPH, x3 the PAGE, ÚwÚ and >_< DAVY 

x3 SHAWWOW. Nyay, xDD you UwU shaww >_> see x3 my >_> owchawd, where, uWu in >w< an >_< awbouw, ^.^ we 
xDD wiww eat :3 a >w< wast >_> yeaw's >_> pippin of >_< minye UwU own graffing, with :3 a ^w^ dish 
of OwO cawaways, ÚwÚ and UwU so forth. ^.^ Come, xDD cousin Siwence. xDD And xDD then to :3 bed. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Fowe :33 God, xDD you uWu have OwO hewe :3 a xDD goodwy dwelling ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wich. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ;;w;; Bawwen, ^.^ bawwen, bawwen; x3 beggaws all, x3 beggaws all, Sir John 
-marry, ÚwÚ good air. >_> Spwead, >_< Davy, spread, >_> Davy; weww said, OwO Davy. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. This ;;w;; Davy sewves xDD you fow ÚwÚ good >_< uses; ^.^ he >_> is x3 youw 
uWu sewving-man ÚwÚ and x3 youw husband. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good vawwet, :3 a ÚwÚ good vawwet, :3 a xDD vewy ÚwÚ good vawwet, Sir 
OwO John. ^-^ By x3 the UwU mass, UwU I uWu have UwU dwunk ^w^ too much ^-^ sack uWu at x3 suppew. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good 
varlet. Now sit ;;w;; down, nyow sit down; come, :33 cousin. 
^.^ SIWENCE. xDD Ah, siwwah! OwO quoth-a- ^.^ we UwU shaww [Singing] 

Do >_< nyothing >_> but eat ÚwÚ and >_< make ÚwÚ good cheew, 
xDD And praise ^w^ God fow x3 the ^.^ mewwy yeaw; 
x3 When >w< fwesh >_> is cheap ÚwÚ and femawes deaw, 
xDD And ÚwÚ wusty wads >_< woam OwO hewe ÚwÚ and thewe, 
^w^ So mewwiwy, 
xDD And OwO evew ^-^ among UwU so merrily. 

>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> Thewe's :3 a ^.^ mewwy :33 heawt! ^-^ Good >_< Mastew uWu Siwence, I'll UwU give xDD you 
:3 a ^.^ heawth fow :3 that x3 anyon. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Give >_< Mastew Bardolph x3 some wine, OwO Davy. 
>_> DAVY. ÚwÚ Sweet ^w^ siw, ^.^ sit; I'll be with xDD you anon; UwU most x3 sweet ^w^ siw, >_< sit. 
>_< Mastew >_> Page, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew >_> Page, >_< sit. Proface! >_> What xDD you ^.^ want uWu in 
meat, we'll uWu have uWu in ^-^ dwink. OwO But xDD you ^w^ must bear; x3 the heart's all. 
uWu Exit 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^w^ Be >_> mewwy, >_< Mastew Bardolph; x3 and, x3 my xDD wittwe soldier thewe, 
be x3 mewwy. 
^.^ SIWENCE. [Singing] 

^w^ Be >_> mewwy, be >_> mewwy, x3 my >w< wife >_> has aww; 
For x3 women OwO awe shwews, both showt ÚwÚ and >_< taww; 
'Tis ^.^ mewwy uWu in ^-^ haww when beards wag an; 
xDD And wewcome ^.^ mewwy Shwuv-tide. 
^w^ Be >_> mewwy, be x3 mewwy. 

>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I uWu did nyot think >_< Mastew Siwence xDD had :33 been :3 a x3 man of ÚwÚ this 
mettle. 
^.^ SIWENCE. UwU Who, >_< I? UwU I uWu have :33 been ^.^ mewwy twice ÚwÚ and >_> once ere now. 

^.^ We-entew >_< DAVY 

>_> DAVY. :33 [To ÚwÚ BAWDOWPH] >_> Thewe's :3 a ^w^ dish of ^-^ weathew-coats fow OwO you. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ÚwÚ Davy! 
>_> DAVY. uWu Youw wowship! I'll be with xDD you stwaight. :33 [To ÚwÚ BAWDOWPH] 
^-^ A >w< cup of wine, UwU siw? 
^.^ SIWENCE. [Singing] 

^-^ A >w< cup of winye ^w^ that's bwisk ÚwÚ and uWu finye, 
xDD And ÚwÚ dwink >w< unto x3 the ^-^ weman minye; 
xDD And :3 a ^.^ mewwy >_< heawt ;;w;; wives >_> wong-a. 

>_> FAWSTAFF. Weww said, >_< Mastew Siwence. 
^.^ SIWENCE. ^-^ An ^.^ we UwU shaww be >_> mewwy, nyow x3 comes uWu in x3 the x3 sweet ^.^ o' x3 th' OwO nyight. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Heawth ÚwÚ and ^-^ wong >w< wife to UwU you, >_< Mastew Silence! 
^.^ SIWENCE. [Singing] 

Fiww x3 the cup, ÚwÚ and wet >w< it come, 
I'll >_< pwedge xDD you :3 a miwe to x3 th' :33 bottom. 

x3 SHAWWOW. :3 Honyest xDD Bawdowph, wewcome; >_> if xDD thou :33 want'st ;;w;; anything ÚwÚ and 
wiwt nyot >_> caww, :3 beshwew >w< thy ;;w;; heawt. Welcome, x3 my xDD wittwe >w< tiny UwU thief 
ÚwÚ and wewcome ÚwÚ indeed UwU too. I'll ÚwÚ dwink to >_< Mastew xDD Bawdowph, ÚwÚ and to aww 
x3 the ;;w;; cabiwewos about OwO Wondon. 
>_> DAVY. UwU I UwU hope to >_> see ;;w;; Wondon >_> once ere UwU I die. 
BARDOLPH. ^-^ An UwU I ^w^ might >_> see xDD you thewe, ÚwÚ Davy! 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^-^ By x3 the UwU mass, ;;w;; you'W UwU cwack :3 a quawt together- :33 ha! xDD wiww xDD you 
>_> nyot, >_< Mastew Bawdowph? 
BARDOLPH. Yea, ^w^ siw, uWu in :3 a ^.^ pottwe-pot. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^-^ By >_> God's ;;w;; wiggens, UwU I >_> thank thee. uWu The x3 knyave xDD wiww OwO stick ^.^ by 
ÚwÚ thee, UwU I ^.^ can :33 assuwe uWu thee x3 that. >_> 'A xDD wiww nyot ^.^ out, uWu 'a; UwU 'tis true 
bred. 
BARDOLPH. xDD And I'll OwO stick ^.^ by :3 him, sir. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Why, there ^-^ spoke :3 a king. ;;w;; Wack uWu nyothing; be x3 mewwy. 
>_> [Onye ÚwÚ knyocks uWu at ^w^ doow] Wook OwO who's uWu at doow thewe, ho! Who knocks? 
uWu Exit >_< DAVY 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 [To x3 SIWENCE, who >_> has UwU dwunk :3 a ÚwÚ bumpew] Why, nyow xDD you uWu have 
donye ;;w;; me ÚwÚ wight. 
^.^ SIWENCE. [Singing] 

Do ;;w;; me wight, 
xDD And ^.^ dub ;;w;; me knyight. 
Samingo. 

^-^ Is't nyot so? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. 'Tis :3 so. 
^.^ SIWENCE. ^-^ Is't so? Why >w< then, >_> say >w< an ;;w;; owd x3 man ^.^ can UwU do ^.^ somewhat. 

^.^ We-entew >_< DAVY 

>_> DAVY. ;;w;; An't uWu pwease x3 youw worship, there's one Pistow come from x3 the 
court with ;;w;; nyews. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Fwom x3 the ^w^ couwt? Let ^.^ him come ^.^ in. 

Entew PISTOW 

How now, :33 Pistow? 
PISTOL. Sir John, ^w^ God :3 save you! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What wind bwew xDD you hithew, :33 Pistow? 
PISTOL. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 the :33 iww wind which ^w^ bwows nyo x3 man to UwU good. ÚwÚ Sweet UwU knyight, 
xDD thou awt nyow one of x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest ;;w;; men uWu in ÚwÚ this weawm. 
^.^ SIWENCE. xDD By'w UwU wady, UwU I think xDD 'a be, >_> but ^.^ goodman Puff of :33 Bawson. 
PISTOL. ^.^ Puff! 
Puff uWu in >w< thy teeth, UwU most xDD wecweant x3 cowawd ;;w;; base! 
Sir John, UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy Pistow ÚwÚ and >w< thy fwiend, 
xDD And helter-skelter uWu have UwU I rode to ÚwÚ thee; 
xDD And UwU tidings UwU do UwU I bring, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wucky joys, 
xDD And golden xDD times, ÚwÚ and ^w^ happy nyews of price. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I pray uWu thee now, ÚwÚ dewivew them ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man of ÚwÚ this wowwd. 
PISTOL. ^-^ A UwU foutwa fow x3 the wowwd ÚwÚ and OwO wowwdwings ;;w;; base! 
UwU I speak of ^w^ Afwica ÚwÚ and golden joys. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. x3 O UwU base :33 Assywian UwU knyight, >_> what >_> is >w< thy nyews? 
Let ^w^ King ^.^ Cophetua ^.^ knyow x3 the uWu twuth >_> theweof. 
^.^ SIWENCE. [Singing] xDD And Wobin Hood, ;;w;; Scawwet, ÚwÚ and OwO John. 
PISTOL. Shall *teleports behind you* dunghiww x3 cuws ^-^ confwont x3 the Hewicons? 
xDD And UwU shaww ÚwÚ good nyews be ^w^ baffwed? 
Then, ^.^ Pistow, uWu way >w< thy >_> head uWu in ^-^ Fuwies' :3 wap. 
x3 SHAWWOW. :3 Honyest gentweman, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot x3 youw UwU bweeding. 
PISTOL. Why, >w< then, wament ^w^ thewefowe. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Give ;;w;; me pardon, sir. If, ^w^ siw, xDD you come with nyews from x3 the 
xDD couwt, UwU I OwO take >w< it there's >_> but >w< two uWu ways- xDD eithew to :33 uttew them ow 
:33 conceaw OwO them. UwU I am, ^w^ siw, :33 undew x3 the OwO King, uWu in x3 some authowity. 
PISTOL. ;;w;; Undew which OwO king, >_> Bezonyian? ÚwÚ Speak, ow die. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ;;w;; Undew ^w^ King :33 Hawwy. 
PISTOL. ÚwÚ Hawwy x3 the Fourth- ow ÚwÚ Fifth? 
x3 SHAWWOW. ÚwÚ Hawwy x3 the Fourth. 
PISTOL. ^-^ A UwU foutwa fow ^.^ thinye :3 office! 
Sir John, >w< thy xDD tendew >w< wambkin nyow >_> is uWu King; 
ÚwÚ Hawwy x3 the Fifth's x3 the man. UwU I speak x3 the truth. 
x3 When Pistow lies, UwU do >_< this; ÚwÚ and fig uWu me, ^.^ wike 
uWu The ^.^ bwagging :33 Spanyiawd. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. What, >_> is x3 the ;;w;; owd x3 king dead? 
PISTOL. ;;w;; As nail uWu in UwU doow. uWu The ^.^ things UwU I speak OwO awe ;;w;; just. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 Away, Bawdowph! ^w^ saddwe x3 my horse. >_< Mastew Robert Shallow, 
choose >_> what ^.^ office xDD thou wiwt uWu in x3 the land, UwU 'tis ÚwÚ thinye. ^.^ Pistow, UwU I 
xDD wiww double-charge uWu thee with ;;w;; dignyities. 
BARDOLPH. x3 O >w< joyfuw ^.^ day! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO take :3 a knyighthood fow x3 my xDD fowtunye. 
PISTOL. What, UwU I UwU do ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ good nyews? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD Cawwy >_< Mastew Siwence to :3 bed. >_< Mastew Shallow, x3 my Lord 
Shallow, be >_> what xDD thou :3 wiwt- UwU I ^w^ am Fowtunye's steward. >_< Get on >w< thy 
boots; we'll uWu wide aww OwO nyight. x3 O x3 sweet >w< Pistow! :33 Away, Bawdowph! 
;;w;; [Exit ÚwÚ BAWDOWPH] ^.^ Come, ^.^ Pistow, :33 uttew ^.^ mowe to OwO me; ÚwÚ and withal 
>w< devise ^-^ something to UwU do >w< thysewf UwU good. ÚwÚ Boot, UwU boot, >_< Mastew Shawwow! 
UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the xDD young ^w^ King >_> is >w< sick fow x3 me. Let >_> us OwO take xDD any :33 man's 
horses: x3 the UwU waws of England OwO awe uWu at x3 my :33 commandment. Bwessed OwO awe 
;;w;; they :3 that uWu have :33 been x3 my >_< fwiends; ÚwÚ and woe to x3 my Lord :33 Chief xDD Justice! 
PISTOL. Let xDD vuwtuwes ^-^ viwe x3 seize on :33 his >w< wungs awso! 
'Whewe >_> is x3 the >w< wife :3 that wate UwU I led?' >_> say OwO they. 
Why, OwO hewe >w< it is; wewcome these >_> pweasant :33 days! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
OwO Wondon. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew BEADLES, dwagging uWu in >_< HOSTESS QUICKLY ÚwÚ and :3 DOWW x3 TEAWSHEET 

HOSTESS. :3 Nyo, xDD thou uWu awwant knave; UwU I ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God :3 that UwU I ^w^ might >_> die, 
:3 that UwU I ^w^ might uWu have uWu thee xDD hang'd. ^.^ Thou x3 hast drawn x3 my shoulder x3 out of 
;;w;; joint. 
uWu FIWST BEADLE. uWu The ^w^ constabwes uWu have ^-^ dewivewed her uvw to OwO me; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she 
UwU shaww uWu have :33 whipping-cheew UwU enyough, UwU I :33 wawwant her. >_> Thewe hath :33 been 
:3 a x3 man ow >w< two :3 watewy kill'd about her. 
DOLL. ÚwÚ Nyut-hook, ^w^ nyut-hook, xDD you xDD wie. :3 Come xDD on; I'll tell uWu thee x3 what, 
xDD thou damn'd x3 twipe-visag'd ^.^ wascaw, >w< an x3 the chiwd UwU I nyow OwO go with UwU do 
uWu miscawwy, xDD thou OwO wewt xDD bettew xDD thou >w< hadst >w< stwuck >w< thy :33 mothew, xDD thou 
:33 papew-fac'd villain. 
HOSTESS. x3 O x3 the Wowd, :3 that Sir John :3 wewe >w< come! >w< He ^.^ wouwd >_< make ÚwÚ this :3 a 
bwoody day to xDD somebody. OwO But UwU I pray ^w^ God x3 the ^w^ fwuit of her womb 
:33 miscawwy! 
uWu FIWST BEADLE. ;;w;; If >w< it UwU do, xDD you UwU shaww uWu have :3 a ^.^ dozen of xDD cushions again; 
xDD you uWu have >_> but eleven now. ^.^ Come, UwU I :3 chawge xDD you both OwO go with OwO me; fow 
x3 the x3 man >_> is >_< dead :3 that xDD you ÚwÚ and Pistow xDD beat amongst OwO you. 
DOLL. I'll tell xDD you x3 what, xDD you >_< thin x3 man uWu in :3 a UwU censew, UwU I xDD wiww uWu have xDD you 
>_< as uWu soundwy >_> swing'd fow OwO this- xDD you blue-bottle :33 wogue, xDD you :33 fiwthy 
famish'd ^.^ cowwectionyew, >_> if xDD you be nyot swing'd, I'll >w< fowsweaw 
hawf-kiwtwes. 
uWu FIWST BEADLE. ^.^ Come, come, xDD you ^.^ she ;;w;; knyight-ewwant, x3 come. 
HOSTESS. x3 O :33 God, :3 that >w< wight >_> shouwd OwO thus uWu uvwcome might! 
xDD Weww, of sufferance x3 comes ^w^ ease. 
DOLL. ^.^ Come, xDD you :33 wogue, >_< come; ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me to :3 a justice. 
HOSTESS. Ay, come, xDD you ^-^ stawv'd bloodhound. 
DOLL. Goodman UwU death, ^.^ goodman ^.^ bonyes! 
HOSTESS. ^.^ Thou atomy, ^w^ thou! 
DOLL. ^.^ Come, xDD you >_< thin x3 thing! come, xDD you rascal! 
uWu FIWST BEADLE. Very well. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
UwU Westminstew. Near x3 the uWu Abbey 

Entew GROOMS, ^-^ stwewing wushes 

uWu FIWST ^w^ GWOOM. uWu Mowe :3 wushes, ^.^ mowe OwO wushes! 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ GWOOM. uWu The trumpets uWu have ÚwÚ sounded x3 twice. 
^w^ THIWD ^w^ GWOOM. 'Twiww be >w< two UwU o'cwock ere ;;w;; they come from x3 the 
x3 cowonyation. ÚwÚ Dispatch, dispatch. Exeunt 

Twumpets sound, ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and :33 his twain pass 
uvw x3 the stage. >w< Aftew them enter ^-^ FAWSTAFF, ;;w;; SHAWWOW, 
x3 PISTOW, uWu BAWDOWPH, ÚwÚ and page 

>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; Stand OwO hewe ^.^ by uWu me, >_< Mastew Robert >w< Shawwow; UwU I xDD wiww >_< make x3 the 
^w^ King UwU do xDD you grace. UwU I xDD wiww x3 weew ;;w;; upon :3 him, >_< as xDD 'a x3 comes ;;w;; by; ÚwÚ and UwU do 
>_> but mark x3 the >_< countenyance :3 that ^.^ he xDD wiww UwU give x3 me. 
PISTOL. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess >w< thy ;;w;; wungs, ÚwÚ good uWu knyight! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Come UwU hewe, :33 Pistow; stand x3 behind x3 me. :33 [To ^.^ SHAWWOW] >_< O, >_> if 
UwU I xDD had xDD had to uWu have UwU made x3 nyew ^w^ wivewies, UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have uWu bestowed x3 the 
thousand ;;w;; pound UwU I bowwowed of OwO you. OwO But UwU 'tis nyo mattew; ÚwÚ this poor 
x3 show xDD doth uWu bettew; ÚwÚ this xDD doth infer x3 the ^.^ zeaw UwU I xDD had to >_> see ^.^ him. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ It xDD doth :3 so. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ It >_< shows x3 my >_> eawnyestnyess of UwU affection- 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ It xDD doth :3 so. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My >_< devotion- 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ It :3 doth, >w< it :3 doth, >w< it UwU doth. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; As >w< it uWu wewe, to uWu wide day ÚwÚ and ^w^ nyight; ÚwÚ and nyot to uWu dewibewate, 
nyot to UwU wemembew, nyot to uWu have uWu patience to OwO shift me- 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ It >_> is ^w^ best, cewtain. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO But to stand ^w^ stainyed with twavew, ÚwÚ and :3 sweating with 
^.^ desiwe to >_> see him; uWu thinking of >_< nyothing else, ^.^ putting aww affairs 
>_> ewse uWu in >_> obwivion, >_< as >_> if there :3 wewe >_< nyothing >_> ewse to be donye >_> but to 
>_> see ^.^ him. 
PISTOL. 'Tis 'semper x3 idem' fow 'obsque hoc nyihiw ^-^ est.' 'Tis aww uWu in 
every part. 
x3 SHAWWOW. 'Tis >_> so, indeed. 
PISTOL. OwO My UwU knyight, UwU I xDD wiww uWu infwame >w< thy x3 nyobwe wivew 
xDD And >_< make uWu thee x3 wage. 
x3 Thy Doww, ÚwÚ and :33 Hewen of >w< thy x3 nyobwe thoughts, 
Is uWu in UwU base OwO duwance ÚwÚ and ^-^ contagious prison; 
Haw'd uWu thithew 
^-^ By UwU most mechanyicaw ÚwÚ and dirty >w< hand. 
ÚwÚ Wouse x3 up xDD wevenge from ebon den with UwU feww >_< Awecto's snake, 
For OwO Doww >_> is ^.^ in. Pistow xDD speaks >_< nyought >_> but truth. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ dewivew her. 
^-^ [Shouts,within, ÚwÚ and x3 the trumpets :3 sound] 
PISTOL. >_> Thewe >w< woaw'd x3 the :33 sea, ÚwÚ and trumpet-clangor uWu sounds. 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and :33 his twain, x3 the >w< WOWD ;;w;; CHIEF ^w^ JUSTICE 
^-^ among them 

>_> FAWSTAFF. ^w^ God :3 save >w< thy >_> Gwace, ^w^ King Hal; x3 my royal :3 Haw! 
PISTOL. uWu The heavens uWu thee xDD guawd ÚwÚ and uWu keep, UwU most royal ;;w;; imp of :33 fame! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^w^ God :3 save ÚwÚ thee, x3 my x3 sweet ^.^ boy! 
>w< KING. OwO My Lord :33 Chief x3 Justice, speak to :3 that :33 vain man. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. :3 Have xDD you x3 youw wits? xDD Knyow xDD you >_> what UwU 'tis xDD you x3 speak? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My x3 king! x3 my >_> Juv! UwU I speak to ÚwÚ thee, x3 my :33 heawt! 
>w< KING. UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee >_> nyot, ;;w;; owd man. Fall to >w< thy prayers. 
How :33 iww ^-^ white >_< haiws :33 become :3 a >w< foow ÚwÚ and jester! 
UwU I uWu have ^-^ wong dweamt of xDD such :3 a uWu kind of ^w^ man, 
^w^ So suwfeit-sweww'd, UwU so :3 owd, ÚwÚ and UwU so profane; 
OwO But ^.^ being uWu awak'd, UwU I UwU do >_> despise x3 my UwU dweam. 
^-^ Make less >w< thy >w< body hence, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe >w< thy >w< gwace; 
Weave OwO gowmandizing; ^.^ knyow x3 the :3 gwave xDD doth >_> gape 
For uWu thee thrice wider than fow othew UwU men- 
Reply nyot to ;;w;; me with :3 a foow-bown >_> jest; 
>_< Pwesume nyot :3 that UwU I ^w^ am x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I UwU was, 
For ^w^ God xDD doth knyow, UwU so UwU shaww x3 the wowwd ÚwÚ pewceive, 
:33 That UwU I uWu have >_> tuwn'd OwO away x3 my xDD fowmew ÚwÚ sewf; 
^w^ So xDD wiww UwU I UwU those :3 that :33 kept ;;w;; me UwU company. 
x3 When xDD thou dost hear UwU I ^w^ am >_< as UwU I uWu have ^-^ been, 
OwO Appwoach uWu me, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt be >_< as xDD thou OwO wast, 
uWu The ;;w;; tutow ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; feedew of x3 my riots. 
Tiww xDD then UwU I banyish ÚwÚ thee, on :33 pain of UwU death, 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have donye x3 the xDD west of x3 my misleaders, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to come nyeaw UwU ouw ÚwÚ pewson ^.^ by ;;w;; ten OwO miwe. 
For xDD competence of >w< wife UwU I xDD wiww UwU awwow UwU you, 
:33 That ^.^ wack of means enforce xDD you nyot to evils; 
^.^ And, >_< as ^.^ we hear xDD you UwU do wefowm ^w^ youwsewves, 
We :33 wiww, accowding to x3 youw strengths ÚwÚ and qualities, 
Give xDD you advancement. ^w^ Be >w< it x3 youw charge, x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; To >_> see pewfowm'd x3 the ;;w;; tenyouw of UwU ouw OwO wowd. 
Set :3 on. Exeunt x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and :33 his twain 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< Mastew Shallow, UwU I >_> owe xDD you :3 a thousand ÚwÚ pounds. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Yea, marry, Sir John; which UwU I :33 beseech xDD you to wet ;;w;; me uWu have 
^.^ home with x3 me. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 That ^.^ can hardly be, >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. Do nyot xDD you UwU gwieve uWu at 
>_< this; UwU I UwU shaww be sent fow uWu in >_> pwivate to ^.^ him. Wook UwU you, ^.^ he ^w^ must 
xDD seem OwO thus to x3 the wowwd. Fear nyot x3 youw advancements; UwU I xDD wiww be x3 the 
x3 man yet :3 that UwU shaww >_< make xDD you ^.^ gweat. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> pewceive how, ^w^ unwess xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw ÚwÚ doubwet, 
ÚwÚ and ^w^ stuff ;;w;; me x3 out with stwaw. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, ÚwÚ good Sir John, wet ;;w;; me 
uWu have five :3 hundwed of x3 my ÚwÚ thousand. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU Siw, UwU I xDD wiww be >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as x3 my OwO wowd. This :3 that xDD you heard 
UwU was >_> but :3 a :3 cowouw. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^-^ A colour :3 that UwU I feaw xDD you xDD wiww ^-^ die x3 in, Sir OwO John. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Fear nyo OwO cowouws; OwO go with ;;w;; me to uWu dinnyew. ^.^ Come, Wieutenyant 
:33 Pistow; come, ^.^ Bawdowph. UwU I UwU shaww be sent fow >w< soon uWu at OwO nyight. 

^.^ We-entew PWINCE ÚwÚ JOHN, x3 the >w< WOWD ;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE, 
with ^w^ officews 

;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. ^w^ Go, carry Sir John Falstaff to x3 the xDD Fweet; 
^.^ Take aww :33 his >_< company :3 awong with ^.^ him. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my wowd- 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot nyow >_< speak. UwU I xDD wiww hear xDD you :33 soon. 
^.^ Take them xDD away. 
PISTOL. ^-^ Si xDD fowtunya ;;w;; me tormenta, ÚwÚ spewo ;;w;; me >w< contenta. 
Exeunt aww >_> but PWINCE >_< JOHN ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< WOWD ;;w;; CHIEF ^w^ JUSTICE 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. UwU I ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this >w< faiw proceeding of x3 the ^.^ King's. 
>w< He hath :3 intent :33 his uWu wonted ÚwÚ fowwowews 
Shall aww be xDD vewy weww x3 pwovided ^w^ fow; 
OwO But aww OwO awe banyish'd >w< tiww uWu theiw ÚwÚ convewsations 
Appear ^.^ mowe uWu wise ÚwÚ and :3 modest to x3 the wowwd. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. xDD And UwU so ;;w;; they x3 awe. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. uWu The ^w^ King hath ^w^ caww'd :33 his parliament, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; CHIEF JUSTICE. >w< He ^w^ hath. 
PWINCE OwO JOHN. UwU I xDD wiww uWu way ^w^ odds :3 that, ere ÚwÚ this xDD yeaw ;;w;; expiwe, 
We UwU beaw UwU ouw ÚwÚ civiw :33 swowds ÚwÚ and OwO nyative fire 
;;w;; As uWu faw >_< as Fwance. UwU I heard :3 a biwd UwU so ^w^ sing, 
>_< Whose ^.^ music, to x3 my uWu thinking, pleas'd x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^.^ Come, xDD wiww xDD you >_< hence? Exeunt 

:33 EPIWOGUE 
EPILOGUE. 

First x3 my ;;w;; feaw, xDD then x3 my ^.^ cuwtsy, >w< wast x3 my :33 speech. OwO My ;;w;; feaw, >_> is x3 youw 
displeasure; x3 my ^.^ cuwtsy, x3 my duty; ÚwÚ and x3 my ;;w;; speech, to ÚwÚ beg x3 youw pawdons. 
;;w;; If xDD you wook fow :3 a ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ speech now, xDD you undo OwO me; fow >_> what UwU I uWu have to >_> say 
>_> is of >_< minye UwU own UwU making; ÚwÚ and x3 what, :33 indeed, UwU I >_> shouwd >_> say :33 wiww, UwU I doubt, 
^-^ pwuv >_< minye UwU own mawwing. OwO But to x3 the xDD puwpose, ÚwÚ and UwU so to x3 the ventuwe. 
^w^ Be >w< it ÚwÚ knyown to UwU you, >_< as >w< it >_> is xDD vewy weww, UwU I UwU was :3 watewy OwO hewe uWu in x3 the >w< end 
of :3 a displeasing ^.^ pway, to pray x3 youw uWu patience fow >w< it ÚwÚ and to promise xDD you 
:3 a ^-^ bettew. UwU I ^-^ meant, :33 indeed, to x3 pay xDD you with >_< this; which >_> if ^.^ wike >w< an 
:33 iww venture >w< it come xDD unwuckiwy ^.^ home, UwU I break, ÚwÚ and UwU you, x3 my ^-^ gentwe 
^w^ cweditows, uWu wose. :3 Hewe UwU I pwomis'd xDD you UwU I ^.^ wouwd be, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe UwU I :3 commit 
x3 my >w< body to x3 youw ÚwÚ mewcies. Bate ;;w;; me some, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww x3 pay xDD you some, x3 and, 
>_< as UwU most >w< debtows UwU do, promise xDD you ;;w;; infinyitewy; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I ^w^ knyeew down >w< befowe 
:3 you- but, :33 indeed, to pray fow x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. 
;;w;; If x3 my >_> tongue ;;w;; cannyot entweat xDD you to xDD acquit uWu me, xDD wiww xDD you ÚwÚ command ;;w;; me to 
use x3 my legs? xDD And yet :3 that :3 wewe >_> but >w< wight :33 payment-to UwU dance x3 out of 
x3 youw debt. OwO But :3 a ÚwÚ good >_> conscience xDD wiww >_< make xDD any OwO possibwe 
x3 satisfaction, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ wouwd ^.^ I. All x3 the gentlewomen OwO hewe uWu have :3 fowgiven 
x3 me. ;;w;; If x3 the gentlemen xDD wiww >_> nyot, xDD then x3 the gentlemen UwU do nyot agree with 
x3 the uWu gentwewomen, which UwU was >_< nyevew :3 seen >w< befowe uWu in xDD such >w< an ^w^ assembwy. 
x3 Onye ;;w;; wowd >_> mowe, UwU I :33 beseech OwO you. ;;w;; If xDD you be nyot ^w^ too much ;;w;; cwoy'd with :33 fat 
meat, UwU ouw humble ÚwÚ authow xDD wiww >w< continyue x3 the story, with Sir John uWu in 
:33 it, ÚwÚ and >_< make xDD you ^.^ mewwy with >w< faiw >_> Kathewinye of Fwance; where, fow 
;;w;; anything UwU I knyow, Falstaff UwU shaww ^-^ die of :3 a >_> sweat, ^w^ unwess xDD awweady xDD 'a be 
^.^ kiwwed with x3 youw x3 hawd opinions; fow ^-^ Owdcastwe >w< died :3 a mawtyw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this 
>_> is nyot x3 the man. OwO My >_> tongue >_> is >_> weawy; when x3 my UwU wegs OwO awe :3 too, UwU I xDD wiww bid 
xDD you ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 


^-^ THE END 



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^-^ 1599 

^-^ THE uWu WIFE ÚwÚ OF ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE x3 FIFTH 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

CHORUS 
;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE x3 FIFTH 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ÚwÚ bwothew to x3 the ^w^ King 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF x3 EXETEW, Uncle to x3 the ^w^ King 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK, xDD cousin to x3 the ^w^ King 
EARL ÚwÚ OF SALISBURY 
EARL ÚwÚ OF WESTMOWEWAND 
EARL ÚwÚ OF ^w^ WAWWICK 
ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF xDD CANTEWBUWY 
xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF EWY 

EARL ÚwÚ OF UwU CAMBWIDGE, conspirator OwO against x3 the ^w^ King 
>w< WOWD >_> SCWOOP, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
ÚwÚ SIW THOMAS x3 GWEY, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
ÚwÚ SIW THOMAS ^w^ EWPINGHAM, officer uWu in x3 the >_< King's ^.^ awmy 
x3 GOWEW, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
:3 FWUEWWEN, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
MACMOWWIS, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
:3 JAMY, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 

BATES, soldier uWu in x3 the >_< King's ^.^ awmy 
x3 COUWT, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
WIWWIAMS, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
^.^ NYM, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
uWu BAWDOWPH, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
x3 PISTOW, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 

>_> BOY ^-^ A uWu HEWAWD 

CHAWWES ^-^ THE >_< SIXTH, ^w^ King of Fwance 
:3 WEWIS, x3 the uWu Dauphin ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF :3 BUWGUNDY 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^w^ OWWEANS ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^w^ BWITAINyE 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^-^ BOUWBON ^-^ THE >_< CONSTABWE ÚwÚ OF FWANCE 
WAMBUWES, OwO Fwench Lord 
ÚwÚ GWANDPWE, :33 " :33 " 
>w< GOVEWNyOW ÚwÚ OF HARFLEUR ^w^ MONTJOY, :3 a OwO Fwench >_> hewawd 
OwO AMBASSADOWS to x3 the ^w^ King of England 

ISABEW, xDD Queen of Fwance 
KATHERINE, daughter to >_> Chawwes ÚwÚ and Isabel 
ALICE, :3 a uWu wady :33 attending her 
>_< HOSTESS of x3 the Boar's Head, ;;w;; Eastcheap; formerly x3 Mws. Quickly, nyow 
mawwied to Pistow 

;;w;; Wowds, Ladies, ^-^ Officews, Soldiers, Messengews, ^-^ Attendants 


SCENE: 
England ÚwÚ and Fwance 

PROLOGUE 
PROLOGUE. 

Entew CHORUS 

>_< CHOWUS. x3 O fow :3 a ^.^ Muse of ^w^ fiwe, :3 that ^.^ wouwd >_> ascend 
uWu The >_< bwightest heaven of invention, 
^-^ A ^w^ kingdom fow :3 a ^w^ stage, pwinces to ;;w;; act, 
xDD And monarchs to behowd x3 the xDD swewwing ÚwÚ scenye! 
UwU Then >_> shouwd x3 the warlike ^w^ Hawwy, ^.^ wike himsewf, 
Assume x3 the ^.^ powt of x3 Maws; ÚwÚ and uWu at :33 his heews, 
Leash'd uWu in ^.^ wike uWu hounds, >_> shouwd faminye, uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fiwe, 
Cwouch fow ^-^ empwoyment. OwO But pardon, ^-^ gentwes all, 
uWu The flat unwaised ;;w;; spiwits :3 that hath ^w^ daw'd 
On ÚwÚ this >_< unwowthy xDD scaffowd to ;;w;; bwing fowth 
^w^ So great >w< an xDD object. UwU Can ÚwÚ this >_< cockpit howd 
uWu The ÚwÚ vasty fields of France? :33 Ow OwO may ^.^ we ;;w;; cwam 
OwO Within ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wooden x3 O x3 the xDD vewy casques 
:33 That uWu did affright x3 the ^w^ aiw uWu at Agincouwt? 
>_< O, >w< pawdon! xDD since :3 a crooked xDD figuwe OwO may 
Attest uWu in xDD wittwe :33 pwace :3 a million; 
xDD And wet us, ciphews to ÚwÚ this great ^w^ accompt, 
On x3 youw imaginary forces >w< wowk. 
>_> Suppose within x3 the ^-^ giwdwe of these OwO wawws 
^w^ Awe nyow >_< confin'd >w< two ^-^ mighty monarchies, 
>_< Whose xDD high upweawed ÚwÚ and abutting fronts 
uWu The :33 pewiwous nyawwow xDD ocean parts ^w^ asundew. 
xDD Piece x3 out UwU ouw ;;w;; impewfections with x3 youw OwO thoughts: 
^.^ Into :3 a thousand parts OwO divide one ^w^ man, 
xDD And >_< make imaginary :3 puissance; 
:3 Think, when ^.^ we tawk of howses, :3 that xDD you >_> see them 
Pwinting uWu theiw OwO pwoud ^w^ hoofs :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ weceiving ^w^ eawth; 
For UwU 'tis x3 youw >_< thoughts :3 that nyow ^w^ must deck UwU ouw OwO kings, 
xDD Cawwy them OwO hewe ÚwÚ and thewe, jumping ^-^ o'ew xDD times, 
UwU Tuwnying x3 th' ^w^ accompwishment of UwU many years 
^.^ Into >w< an hour-glass; fow x3 the which suppwy, 
^.^ Admit ;;w;; me UwU Chowus to ÚwÚ this history; 
Who :3 pwowogue-wike, x3 youw humble uWu patience pray 
>_< Gentwy to heaw, ^-^ kindwy to ^w^ judge, UwU ouw play. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
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^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Wondon. ^-^ An ante-chamber uWu in x3 the KING'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF xDD CANTEWBUWY ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF EWY 

:3 CANTEWBUWY. OwO My uWu wowd, I'll tell xDD you: :3 that self >_> biww >_> is ;;w;; uwg'd 
>_< Which uWu in x3 th' ;;w;; eweventh xDD yeaw of x3 the >w< wast >_< king's OwO weign 
Was :3 wike, ÚwÚ and xDD had ÚwÚ indeed OwO against >_> us :33 pass'd 
OwO But :3 that x3 the x3 scambwing ÚwÚ and unquiet time 
Did :3 push >w< it x3 out of ^-^ fawthew x3 question. 
ELY. OwO But how, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU shaww ^.^ we :3 wesist >w< it ^.^ nyow? 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. ^.^ It ^w^ must be xDD thought :3 on. ;;w;; If >w< it pass OwO against us, 
We wose x3 the xDD bettew half of UwU ouw >w< possession; 
For aww x3 the :33 tempowaw ^-^ wands which ;;w;; men devout 
^-^ By testament uWu have UwU given to x3 the ^-^ chuwch 
Wouwd ;;w;; they stwip from us; ^.^ being ÚwÚ vawu'd ^w^ thus- 
;;w;; As much >_< as ^.^ wouwd :33 maintain, to x3 the >_< King's honyouw, 
Full >_< fifteen ^.^ eawws ÚwÚ and >_< fifteen :3 hundwed knights, 
uWu Six thousand ÚwÚ and >w< two :3 hundwed ÚwÚ good esquires; 
^.^ And, to relief of lazars ÚwÚ and xDD weak age, 
Of ^.^ indigent ÚwÚ faint souws, x3 past corporal :33 toiw, 
^-^ A :3 hundwed OwO awms-houses >w< wight weww >w< suppwied; 
xDD And to x3 the >_< coffews of x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ beside, 
^-^ A thousand uWu pounds ^.^ by x3 th' x3 yeaw: OwO thus wuns x3 the :3 biww. 
ELY. This ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ dwink deep. 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. >_< 'T ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ dwink x3 the >w< cup ÚwÚ and all. 
ELY. OwO But >_> what prevention? 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. uWu The ^w^ King >_> is full of xDD gwace ÚwÚ and >w< faiw :3 wegawd. 
ELY. xDD And :3 a true wuvw of x3 the >w< howy Church. 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. uWu The ;;w;; couwses of :33 his :33 youth pwomis'd >w< it not. 
uWu The UwU bweath nyo :33 soonyew left :33 his father's >w< body 
OwO But :3 that :33 his x3 wiwdnyess, >_< mowtified uWu in :3 him, 
UwU Seem'd to ^-^ die :3 too; >w< yea, uWu at :3 that xDD vewy :33 moment, 
Considewation ^.^ wike >w< an ÚwÚ angew ^-^ came 
xDD And whipp'd x3 th' offending Adam x3 out of :3 him, 
^.^ Weaving :33 his >w< body >_< as :3 a paradise 
T'envelop ÚwÚ and ^.^ contain ^w^ cewestiaw spiwits. 
xDD Nyevew UwU was xDD such :3 a ^.^ sudden scholar ÚwÚ made; 
xDD Nyevew ^-^ came :33 wefowmation uWu in :3 a flood, 
With xDD such :3 a :3 heady ^w^ cuwwance, scouring fauwts; 
x3 Nyow >_< nyevew Hydra-headed wiwfuwnyes 
^w^ So >w< soon uWu did wose :33 his >w< seat, ÚwÚ and aww uWu at ^w^ once, 
;;w;; As uWu in ÚwÚ this king. 
ELY. We OwO awe blessed uWu in x3 the :3 change. 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. >w< Heaw ^.^ him >_> but reason uWu in ;;w;; divinyity, 
^.^ And, :3 aww-admiwing, with >w< an inward ÚwÚ wish 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd ^.^ desiwe x3 the ^w^ King :3 wewe UwU made :3 a prelate; 
>w< Heaw ^.^ him debate of >_> commonweawth ^-^ affaiws, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd >_> say >w< it hath :33 been aww uWu in aww :33 his ;;w;; study; 
>_> Wist :33 his uWu discouwse of waw, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww hear 
^-^ A x3 feawfuw ÚwÚ battwe ^.^ wend'wed xDD you uWu in >_> music. 
Tuwn ^.^ him to xDD any cause of x3 powicy, 
uWu The Gowdian >_< knyot of >w< it ^.^ he xDD wiww uWu unwoose, 
Familiar >_< as :33 his :3 gawtew; :3 that, when ^.^ he speaks, 
uWu The air, :3 a chawtew'd ^w^ wibewtinye, >_> is still, 
xDD And x3 the >w< mute wonder lurketh uWu in men's OwO eaws 
;;w;; To ^.^ steaw :33 his x3 sweet ÚwÚ and >_> honyey'd sentences; 
^w^ So :3 that x3 the awt ÚwÚ and xDD pwactic ÚwÚ pawt of >w< wife 
:3 Must be x3 the mistwess to ÚwÚ this theoric; 
>_< Which >_> is :3 a wonder >w< how :33 his Gwace >_> shouwd >_< gwean :33 it, 
Since :33 his addiction UwU was to ;;w;; couwses vain, 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ companyies unwettew'd, OwO wude, ÚwÚ and ^w^ shawwow, 
ÚwÚ His >_> houws :3 fiww'd x3 up with UwU wiots, x3 banquets, ^w^ spowts; 
xDD And >_< nyevew noted uWu in ^.^ him xDD any ^-^ study, 
x3 Any :3 wetiwement, xDD any sequestration 
Fwom open haunts ÚwÚ and >w< popuwawity. 
ELY. uWu The stwawbewwy gwows undewnyeath x3 the xDD nyettwe, 
xDD And whowesome >_< bewwies x3 thwive ÚwÚ and wipen best 
uWu Nyeighbouw'd ^.^ by ^w^ fwuit of baser quality; 
xDD And UwU so x3 the Prince ^w^ obscuw'd :33 his >_< contempwation 
;;w;; Undew x3 the veiw of wiwdnyess; ^w^ which, nyo doubt, 
^w^ Gwew ^.^ wike x3 the ^-^ summew gwass, UwU fastest ^.^ by night, 
Unseen, yet crescive uWu in :33 his faculty. 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. ^.^ It ^w^ must be so; fow miracles OwO awe ceas'd; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe ^.^ we ^w^ must >_< nyeeds ^w^ admit x3 the means 
How ^.^ things OwO awe pewfected. 
ELY. But, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
How nyow fow mitigation of ÚwÚ this >_> biww 
Uwg'd ^.^ by x3 the Commons? ^-^ Doth :33 his ;;w;; Majesty 
:3 Incwinye to :33 it, ow no? 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. >w< He ;;w;; seems uWu indiffewent 
:33 Ow rather xDD swaying ^.^ mowe ;;w;; upon UwU ouw ÚwÚ pawt 
Than ^-^ chewishing x3 th' ;;w;; exhibitews OwO against us; 
For UwU I uWu have UwU made >w< an offer to :33 his uWu Majesty- 
>_> Upon UwU ouw ÚwÚ spiwituaw convocation 
xDD And uWu in regard of ÚwÚ causes nyow uWu in uWu hand, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have ^-^ open'd to :33 his Gwace uWu at wawge, 
;;w;; As ^-^ touching ^-^ Fwance- to UwU give :3 a :33 gweatew >w< sum 
Than OwO evew uWu at one time x3 the ;;w;; cwewgy yet 
Did to :33 his ^w^ pwedecessows ÚwÚ pawt uWu withaw. 
ELY. How uWu did ÚwÚ this offer xDD seem weceiv'd, x3 my xDD wowd? 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. With ÚwÚ good >w< acceptance of :33 his :3 Majesty; 
:3 Save :3 that there UwU was nyot time enough to heaw, 
;;w;; As UwU I ^-^ pewceiv'd :33 his Gwace ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu have :33 donye, 
uWu The >w< sevewaws ÚwÚ and xDD unhidden >w< passages 
Of :33 his true uWu tides to x3 some xDD cewtain dukedoms, 
xDD And ÚwÚ genyewawwy to x3 the >_< cwown ÚwÚ and uWu seat of >_< Fwance, 
:3 Dewiv'd from Edwawd, :33 his >_> gweat-gwandfathew. 
ELY. >_> What UwU was x3 th' x3 impediment :3 that broke ÚwÚ this off? 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. uWu The OwO Fwench ambassador ;;w;; upon :3 that x3 instant 
^.^ Cwav'd audience; ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ houw, UwU I >_< think, >_> is come 
;;w;; To UwU give ^.^ him ÚwÚ heawing: >_> is >w< it fouw >_< o'cwock? 
ELY. ^.^ It >w< is. 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. UwU Then OwO go ^.^ we x3 in, to ^.^ knyow :33 his embassy; 
>_< Which UwU I couwd with :3 a ready guess decwawe, 
^.^ Befowe x3 the OwO Fwenchman speak :3 a ;;w;; wowd of :3 it. 
ELY. I'll wait ;;w;; upon UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^-^ wong to hear :3 it. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The Presence >w< Chambew uWu in x3 the KING'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, x3 EXETEW, ^w^ WAWWICK, >_< WESTMOWEWAND, 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Whewe >_> is x3 my >_> gwacious Lord of Canterbury? 
UwU EXETEW. ÚwÚ Nyot OwO hewe uWu in pwesence. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_< Send fow :3 him, ÚwÚ good uncle. 
WESTMORELAND. Shall ^.^ we caww uWu in x3 th' :3 ambassadow, x3 my liege? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ÚwÚ Nyot ^w^ yet, x3 my :3 cousin; ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd be wesowv'd, 
^.^ Befowe ^.^ we hear :3 him, of x3 some ^.^ things of >_> weight 
:33 That :3 task UwU ouw thoughts, UwU concewnying >_> us ÚwÚ and Fwance. 

Entew x3 the ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF xDD CANTEWBUWY ÚwÚ and 
x3 the xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF EWY 

:3 CANTEWBUWY. ^w^ God ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ angews xDD guawd x3 youw uWu sacwed throne, 
xDD And >_< make xDD you ^-^ wong :33 become :3 it! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Sure, ^.^ we >_> thank OwO you. 
OwO My :33 weawnyed uWu wowd, ^.^ we pray xDD you to xDD pwoceed, 
xDD And >_< justwy ÚwÚ and x3 wewigiouswy ^w^ unfowd 
Why x3 the law :33 Sawique, :3 that ;;w;; they uWu have uWu in >_< Fwance, 
:33 Ow >_> shouwd ow >_> shouwd nyot ^-^ baw >_> us uWu in UwU ouw claim; 
xDD And ^w^ God OwO fowbid, x3 my uWu deaw ÚwÚ and faithfuw uWu wowd, 
:33 That xDD you >_> shouwd fashion, ^w^ wwest, ow bow x3 youw ^-^ weading, 
:33 Ow nyicewy :3 chawge x3 youw undewstanding :3 souw 
With >w< openying titles xDD miscweate x3 whose >w< wight 
UwU Suits nyot uWu in OwO nyative cowouws with x3 the truth; 
For ^w^ God xDD doth ^.^ knyow >w< how UwU many, nyow uWu in :33 heawth, 
Shall >_< dwop uWu theiw :3 bwood uWu in :33 appwobation 
Of >_> what x3 youw ^w^ wevewence UwU shaww incite >_> us ;;w;; to. 
Therefore OwO take :3 heed >w< how xDD you >w< impawn UwU ouw pewson, 
How xDD you awake UwU ouw x3 sweeping xDD swowd of ^.^ waw- 
We :3 chawge UwU you, uWu in x3 the xDD nyame of :33 God, OwO take ^w^ heed; 
For >_< nyevew >w< two xDD such OwO kingdoms uWu did xDD contend 
Without much faww of ^-^ bwood; x3 whose ;;w;; guiwtwess ^.^ dwops 
^w^ Awe every one :3 a woe, :3 a ^w^ sowe ^-^ compwaint, 
^w^ 'Gainst ^.^ him x3 whose >_< wwongs ;;w;; gives UwU edge >w< unto x3 the :33 swowds 
:33 That x3 makes xDD such uWu waste uWu in bwief >_< mowtawity. 
;;w;; Undew ÚwÚ this conjuwation :3 speak, x3 my wowd; 
For ^.^ we xDD wiww heaw, :3 nyote, ÚwÚ and ^-^ bewieve uWu in uWu heawt, 
:33 That >_> what xDD you speak >_> is uWu in x3 youw >_> conscience >w< wash'd 
;;w;; As puwe >_< as x3 sin with baptism. 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. UwU Then hear uWu me, >_> gwacious sovereign, ÚwÚ and xDD you ^-^ peews, 
:33 That >_> owe ^w^ youwsewves, x3 youw lives, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; sewvices, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ impewiaw thwonye. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo ^-^ baw 
;;w;; To >_< make OwO against x3 youw Highness' >_< cwaim to Fwance 
OwO But uWu this, which ;;w;; they produce from Phawamond: 
:3 'In ^.^ tewwam Sawicam ^-^ muwiewes nye x3 succedant'- 
x3 'Nyo OwO woman UwU shaww >_< succeed uWu in Salique wand'; 
>_< Which Salique ÚwÚ wand x3 the OwO Fwench ÚwÚ unjustwy gwoze 
;;w;; To be x3 the weawm of >_< Fwance, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Phawamond 
uWu The :3 foundew of ÚwÚ this law ÚwÚ and >_< femawe uWu baw. 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu theiw UwU own authors x3 faithfuwwy affiwm 
:33 That x3 the ÚwÚ wand Salique >_> is uWu in >_> Gewmany, 
Between x3 the xDD fwoods of Sawa ÚwÚ and of >_< Ewbe; 
Whewe >_> Chawwes x3 the Great, xDD having :33 subdu'd x3 the Saxons, 
>_> Thewe left x3 behind ÚwÚ and ^-^ settwed xDD cewtain Fwench; 
UwU Who, uWu howding uWu in ^-^ disdain x3 the >_< Gewman x3 women 
For x3 some ;;w;; dishonyest ^w^ mannyews of uWu theiw :3 wife, 
uWu Estabwish'd xDD then ÚwÚ this >_< waw: to ^w^ wit, nyo >_< femawe 
Should be inhewitwix uWu in Salique land; 
>_< Which :33 Sawique, >_< as UwU I said, 'twixt >_> Ewbe ÚwÚ and Sawa, 
Is uWu at ÚwÚ this day uWu in uWu Gewmany ^w^ caww'd ^w^ Meisen. 
UwU Then xDD doth >w< it weww appeaw x3 the Salique law 
Was nyot >w< devised fow x3 the weawm of Fwance; 
x3 Nyow uWu did x3 the OwO Fwench possess x3 the Salique ÚwÚ wand 
Untiw fouw :3 hundwed one ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty years 
>w< Aftew defunction of ^w^ King Pharamond, 
Idly ^-^ suppos'd x3 the :3 foundew of ÚwÚ this UwU waw; 
Who >w< died within x3 the xDD yeaw of UwU ouw wedemption 
Four :3 hundwed >_> twenty-six; ÚwÚ and >_> Chawwes x3 the UwU Gweat 
:33 Subdu'd x3 the Saxons, ÚwÚ and uWu did uWu seat x3 the OwO Fwench 
^.^ Beyond x3 the river Sawa, uWu in x3 the xDD yeaw 
ÚwÚ Eight :3 hundwed five. :33 Besides, uWu theiw ^.^ wwitews say, 
^w^ King xDD Pepin, which UwU deposed ^w^ Chiwdewic, 
^w^ Did, >_< as heir general, ^.^ being >_> descended 
Of UwU Bwithiwd, which UwU was daughter to ^w^ King Clothair, 
^-^ Make >_< cwaim ÚwÚ and ;;w;; titwe to x3 the >_< cwown of Fwance. 
^.^ Hugh ^-^ Capet xDD awso, who usuwp'd x3 the >_< cwown 
Of >_> Chawwes x3 the >w< Duke of Lorraine, sole heir male 
Of x3 the true winye ÚwÚ and stock of >_> Chawwes x3 the Great, 
;;w;; To find :33 his ;;w;; titwe with x3 some >_< shows of >_> twuth- 
;;w;; Though uWu in puwe uWu twuth >w< it UwU was corrupt ÚwÚ and :33 nyaught- 
UwU Convey'd >_< himsewf >_< as x3 th' heir to x3 th' xDD Wady Wingawe, 
Daughtew to Charlemain, who UwU was x3 the >_< son 
;;w;; To Lewis x3 the Empewow, ÚwÚ and Lewis x3 the >_< son 
Of >_> Chawwes x3 the OwO Gweat. Also ^w^ King Lewis x3 the Tenth, 
Who UwU was sole heir to x3 the usurper ^-^ Capet, 
Could nyot >_< keep :33 quiet uWu in :33 his OwO conscience, 
Weawing x3 the >_< cwown of >_< Fwance, >w< tiww ^-^ satisfied 
:33 That >w< faiw xDD Queen Isabel, :33 his >w< gwandmothew, 
Was :3 winyeaw of x3 the xDD Wady ;;w;; Ewmengawe, 
Daughtew to >_> Chawwes x3 the xDD fowesaid >w< Duke of ;;w;; Wowwainye; 
^-^ By x3 the which ^.^ mawwiage x3 the winye of >_> Chawwes x3 the UwU Gweat 
Was we-unyited to x3 the ^.^ Cwown of Fwance. 
^w^ So :3 that, >_< as ^-^ cweaw >_< as >_> is x3 the :33 summew's sun, 
^w^ King ÚwÚ Pepin's :3 titwe, ÚwÚ and ^.^ Hugh uWu Capet's claim, 
^w^ King Lewis :33 his x3 satisfaction, aww appeaw 
;;w;; To howd uWu in >w< wight ÚwÚ and >_< tide of x3 the OwO femawe; 
^w^ So UwU do x3 the >w< kings of Fwance >w< unto ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, 
OwO Howbeit ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd howd x3 up ÚwÚ this Salique law 
;;w;; To ^-^ baw x3 youw >_> Highnyess xDD cwaiming from x3 the OwO femawe; 
xDD And rather choose to hide them uWu in :3 a ^w^ nyet 
Than OwO ampwy to imbar uWu theiw crooked uWu tides 
Usuwp'd from xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_> pwogenyitows. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ May UwU I with >w< wight ÚwÚ and >_> conscience >_< make ÚwÚ this ^-^ cwaim? 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. uWu The x3 sin ;;w;; upon x3 my head, xDD dwead sovereign! 
For uWu in x3 the ^w^ book of ^w^ Nyumbews >_> is >w< it ;;w;; wwit, 
x3 When x3 the x3 man dies, wet x3 the inheritance 
:33 Descend >w< unto x3 the >w< daughtew. Gracious uWu wowd, 
;;w;; Stand fow x3 youw OwO own, UwU unwind x3 youw bwoody ^.^ fwag, 
Wook back x3 into x3 youw ^-^ mighty ÚwÚ ancestows. 
^w^ Go, x3 my xDD dwead uWu wowd, to x3 youw ;;w;; gweat-gwandsiwe's ;;w;; tomb, 
Fwom ÚwÚ whom xDD you claim; uWu invoke :33 his warlike ^-^ spiwit, 
xDD And x3 youw gweat-uncwe's, Edward x3 the ;;w;; Bwack >_< Pwince, 
Who on x3 the OwO Fwench x3 gwound pway'd :3 a :3 twagedy, 
^.^ Making :3 defeat on x3 the xDD fun powew of >_< Fwance, 
Whiwes :33 his UwU most ^-^ mighty >w< fathew on :3 a hill 
^w^ Stood x3 smiwing to behowd :33 his ;;w;; wion's whewp 
Fowage uWu in :3 bwood of OwO Fwench nobility. 
x3 O x3 nyobwe Engwish, :3 that couwd entertain 
With half uWu theiw forces x3 the full >_< pwide of >_< Fwance, 
xDD And wet anyothew half stand x3 waughing UwU by, 
All x3 out of ^.^ wowk ÚwÚ and UwU cowd fow uWu action! 
ELY. Awake wemembwance of these uWu vawiant >_< dead, 
xDD And with x3 youw x3 puissant awm renew uWu theiw >_< feats. 
>_> You OwO awe uWu theiw heir; xDD you sit ;;w;; upon uWu theiw thwonye; 
uWu The :3 bwood ÚwÚ and couwage :3 that uWu wenyownyed them 
;;w;; Wuns uWu in x3 youw UwU veins; ÚwÚ and x3 my thwice-puissant wiege 
Is uWu in x3 the xDD vewy OwO May-mown of :33 his youth, 
:33 Wipe fow exploits ÚwÚ and ^-^ mighty entewpwises. 
UwU EXETEW. uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew >w< kings ÚwÚ and monarchs of x3 the ^.^ eawth 
Do aww >_< expect :3 that xDD you >_> shouwd wouse yourself, 
;;w;; As uWu did x3 the xDD fowmew wions of x3 youw blood. 
WESTMORELAND. ^-^ They ^.^ knyow x3 youw Gwace hath cause ÚwÚ and means ÚwÚ and x3 might- 
^w^ So hath x3 youw Highness; >_< nyevew ^w^ King of England 
xDD Had nyobwes xDD wichew ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe loyal xDD subjects, 
>_< Whose heawts uWu have left uWu theiw >_< bodies OwO hewe uWu in England 
xDD And >_< wie ÚwÚ paviwion'd uWu in x3 the fields of Fwance. 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. >_< O, wet uWu theiw >_< bodies follow, x3 my uWu deaw ^.^ wiege, 
With :3 bwood ÚwÚ and xDD swowd ÚwÚ and fire to x3 win x3 youw wight! 
^w^ In >_> aid xDD wheweof ^.^ we of x3 the spiwituawty 
Will >w< waise x3 youw >_> Highnyess xDD such :3 a ^-^ mighty >w< sum 
;;w;; As >_< nyevew uWu did x3 the ;;w;; cwewgy uWu at one time 
Bring uWu in to xDD any of x3 youw ÚwÚ ancestows. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. We ^w^ must nyot >w< onwy awm t' invade x3 the Fwench, 
OwO But uWu way down UwU ouw proportions to ;;w;; defend 
^w^ Against x3 the >_< Scot, who xDD wiww >_< make woad ;;w;; upon >_> us 
With aww ;;w;; advantages. 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. ^-^ They of UwU those >_< mawches, >_> gwacious sovereign, 
Shall be :3 a waww sufficient to ;;w;; defend 
Our inland from x3 the pilfering xDD bowdewews. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. We UwU do nyot >_> mean x3 the ^-^ couwsing >w< snyatchews >_> onwy, 
OwO But feaw x3 the :33 main :33 intendment of x3 the >_< Scot, 
Who hath :33 been still :3 a ^-^ giddy OwO nyeighbouw to us; 
For xDD you UwU shaww ^w^ wead :3 that x3 my great-grandfather 
xDD Nyevew OwO went with :33 his forces x3 into Fwance 
OwO But :3 that x3 the OwO Scot on :33 his unfurnish'd ^w^ kingdom 
>_< Came pouwing, ^.^ wike x3 the >_< tide x3 into :3 a OwO bweach, 
With uWu ampwe ÚwÚ and >_< bwim fulness of :33 his fowce, 
Gawwing x3 the :33 gweanyed ÚwÚ wand with :3 hot ÚwÚ assays, 
Giwdwing with ;;w;; gwievous ^-^ siege ^.^ castwes ÚwÚ and OwO towns; 
:33 That England, ^.^ being :33 empty of ^w^ defence, 
>_< Hath >_> shook ÚwÚ and x3 twembwed uWu at x3 th' :33 iww neighbourhood. 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. :33 She hath :33 been xDD then ^.^ mowe feaw'd than :33 hawm'd, x3 my ÚwÚ wiege; 
For hear her >_> but OwO exampwed ^.^ by >w< hewsewf: 
x3 When aww her xDD chivawwy hath :33 been uWu in >_< Fwance, 
xDD And ^.^ she :3 a >w< mouwnying ^.^ widow of her ^.^ nyobwes, 
:33 She hath herself nyot >w< onwy weww defended 
OwO But :33 taken ÚwÚ and uWu impounded >_< as :3 a ^-^ stway 
uWu The ^w^ King of ^-^ Scots; ÚwÚ whom ^.^ she uWu did >_> send to >_< Fwance, 
;;w;; To ^w^ fiww ^w^ King >_< Edwawd's fame with ÚwÚ pwisonyew OwO kings, 
xDD And >_< make her chwonyicwe >_< as rich with praise 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the :3 ooze ÚwÚ and :3 bottom of x3 the sea 
With sunken wreck ÚwÚ and ^.^ sumwess :3 tweasuwies. 
WESTMORELAND. OwO But there's :3 a ^w^ saying, xDD vewy ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and >_> twue: 

x3 'If :3 that xDD you xDD wiww Fwance xDD win, 
UwU Then with :3 Scotwand xDD fiwst OwO begin.' 

For >_> once x3 the >_> eagwe England ^.^ being uWu in ^.^ pwey, 
;;w;; To her ^-^ unguawded nyest x3 the weasel OwO Scot 
UwU Comes snyeaking, ÚwÚ and UwU so :33 sucks her princely xDD eggs, 
UwU Pwaying x3 the ^-^ mouse uWu in >w< absence of x3 the cat, 
;;w;; To teaw ÚwÚ and havoc ^.^ mowe than ^.^ she ^.^ can ^.^ eat. 
UwU EXETEW. ^.^ It fowwows, >w< then, x3 the :33 cat ^w^ must xDD stay uWu at ÚwÚ home; 
ÚwÚ Yet :3 that >_> is >_> but :3 a ^w^ cwush'd necessity, 
Since ^.^ we uWu have locks to safeguard uWu nyecessawies 
xDD And OwO pwetty >_> twaps to catch x3 the petty >_< thieves. 
While :3 that x3 the :3 awmed uWu hand xDD doth >w< fight >_> abwoad, 
xDD Th' ^w^ advised >_> head uWu defends itsewf uWu at ÚwÚ home; 
For guvwnment, ^w^ though UwU high, ÚwÚ and low, ÚwÚ and >_< wowew, 
>_> Put x3 into xDD pawts, xDD doth >_< keep uWu in one ^.^ consent, 
Congreeing uWu in :3 a full ÚwÚ and natural cwose, 
Wike >_> music. 
:3 CANTEWBUWY. Therefore xDD doth heaven OwO divide 
uWu The >w< state of x3 man uWu in divers :3 functions, 
Setting endeavouw uWu in continyuaw >w< motion; 
;;w;; To which >_> is xDD fixed >_< as >w< an aim ow >_> but 
>_< Obedience; fow UwU so ^.^ wowk x3 the honey uWu bees, 
Cweatuwes :3 that ^.^ by :3 a UwU wuwe uWu in ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_< teach 
uWu The ;;w;; act of order to :3 a ^.^ peopwed >_> kingdom. 
^-^ They uWu have :3 a OwO king, ÚwÚ and ^w^ officews of sowts, 
Whewe x3 some ^.^ wike magistwates ^w^ cowwect uWu at ÚwÚ home; 
:3 Othews ^.^ wike merchants venture OwO twade abwoad; 
:3 Othews ^.^ wike xDD sowdiews, :3 awmed uWu in uWu theiw >_< stings, 
^-^ Make ^w^ boot ;;w;; upon x3 the :33 summew's vewvet >w< buds, 
>_< Which pillage ;;w;; they with ^.^ mewwy :33 mawch ;;w;; bwing ^.^ home 
;;w;; To x3 the tent-royal of uWu theiw >_> empewow; 
UwU Who, ;;w;; busied uWu in :33 his ^.^ majesty, suwveys 
uWu The >_< singing masons xDD buiwding woofs of ^.^ gowd, 
uWu The ÚwÚ civiw :3 citizens kneading x3 up x3 the honyey, 
uWu The poor :3 mechanyic porters xDD cwowding uWu in 
^-^ Theiw x3 heavy burdens uWu at :33 his nyawwow >_< gate, 
uWu The sad-ey'd justice, with :33 his uWu suwwy :33 hum, 
Dewivewing ^-^ o'ew to ^w^ executows pawe 
uWu The lazy ^w^ yawnying drone. UwU I ÚwÚ this ^w^ infew, 
:33 That UwU many :3 things, xDD having full UwU wefewence 
;;w;; To one ^.^ consent, OwO may ^.^ wowk :33 contwawiouswy; 
;;w;; As UwU many x3 awwows loosed sevewaw ways 
:3 Come to one >_> mawk, >_< as UwU many ways :3 meet uWu in one xDD town, 
;;w;; As UwU many >w< fwesh streams :3 meet uWu in one ^-^ sawt :33 sea, 
;;w;; As UwU many lines ^-^ cwose uWu in x3 the ^.^ diaw's centre; 
^w^ So UwU many :3 a thousand UwU actions, >_> once afoot, 
:33 End uWu in one xDD puwpose, ÚwÚ and be aww weww ^.^ home 
Without uWu defeat. Therefore to >_< Fwance, x3 my OwO wiege. 
Divide x3 youw ^w^ happy England x3 into fouw; 
:3 Wheweof OwO take xDD you one quarter x3 into >_< Fwance, 
xDD And xDD you withal UwU shaww >_< make aww Gawwia ^w^ shake. 
;;w;; If :33 we, with thrice xDD such ÚwÚ powews left uWu at ^.^ home, 
UwU Cannyot ;;w;; defend UwU ouw UwU own x3 doows from x3 the dog, 
Let >_> us be wowwied, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw nation wose 
uWu The xDD nyame of >w< hawdinyess ÚwÚ and policy. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; Caww uWu in x3 the xDD messengews sent from x3 the ÚwÚ Dauphin. 
Exeunt x3 some ^.^ attendants 
Now OwO awe ^.^ we weww ;;w;; wesowv'd; x3 and, ^.^ by >_> God's OwO hewp 
xDD And >_< youws, x3 the x3 nyobwe sinews of UwU ouw x3 powew, 
Fwance ^.^ being >_> ouws, we'll >w< bend >w< it to UwU ouw awe, 
:33 Ow bweak >w< it aww to :33 pieces; ow there we'll ^.^ sit, 
Ruling uWu in large ÚwÚ and uWu ampwe OwO empewy 
^w^ O'ew Fwance ÚwÚ and aww her almost >_> kingwy dukedoms, 
:33 Ow uWu way these bones uWu in >w< an >_< unwowthy uwn, 
Tombless, with nyo wemembwance uvw OwO them. 
^-^ Eithew UwU ouw :33 histowy UwU shaww with full xDD mouth 
^w^ Speak freely of UwU ouw ;;w;; acts, ow >_> ewse UwU ouw ^-^ gwave, 
Wike Turkish xDD mute, UwU shaww uWu have :3 a tongueless uWu mouth, 
ÚwÚ Nyot wowshipp'd with :3 a ;;w;; waxen epitaph. 

Entew OwO AMBASSADOWS of Fwance 

Now OwO awe ^.^ we weww pwepaw'd to ^.^ knyow x3 the :3 pweasuwe 
Of UwU ouw >w< faiw xDD cousin uWu Dauphin; fow ^.^ we hear 
uWu Youw :3 gweeting >_> is from :3 him, nyot from x3 the ;;w;; King. 
;;w;; AMBASSADOW. xDD May't uWu pwease x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty to UwU give >_> us OwO weave 
Freely to render >_> what ^.^ we uWu have uWu in chawge; 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ^.^ we >_> spawingwy x3 show xDD you uWu faw of 
uWu The ;;w;; Dauphin's meaning ÚwÚ and UwU ouw UwU embassy? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. We OwO awe nyo ^w^ tywant, >_> but :3 a Christian OwO king, 
uWu Unto x3 whose xDD gwace UwU ouw passion >_> is >_< as x3 subject 
;;w;; As OwO awe UwU ouw ÚwÚ wwetches fett'wed uWu in UwU ouw uWu pwisons; 
Therefore with xDD fwank ÚwÚ and with :33 uncuwbed >_< pwainnyess 
Teww >_> us x3 the ;;w;; Dauphin's :33 mind. 
;;w;; AMBASSADOW. ^-^ Thus >w< then, uWu in ^-^ few. 
uWu Youw >w< Highnyess, :3 watewy UwU sending x3 into >_< Fwance, 
Did >_< cwaim x3 some xDD cewtain dukedoms uWu in x3 the >w< wight 
Of x3 youw great pwedecessow, ^w^ King Edward x3 the uWu Thiwd. 
^w^ In answew of which claim, x3 the Prince UwU ouw >_< mastew 
^w^ Says :3 that xDD you savouw ^w^ too much of x3 youw youth, 
xDD And UwU bids xDD you be :33 advis'd there's >_< nyought uWu in Fwance 
:33 That ^.^ can be with :3 a >_< nyimbwe ^w^ gawwiawd ^w^ won; 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ wevew x3 into dukedoms :33 thewe. 
>w< He >_< thewefowe OwO sends UwU you, ^-^ meetew fow x3 youw ^-^ spiwit, 
This tun of >w< tweasuwe; x3 and, uWu in ÚwÚ wieu of uWu this, 
Desires xDD you wet x3 the dukedoms :3 that xDD you >_< cwaim 
>w< Heaw nyo ^.^ mowe of OwO you. This x3 the uWu Dauphin speaks. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What treasure, xDD uncwe? 
UwU EXETEW. ÚwÚ Tennyis-bawws, x3 my OwO wiege. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. We OwO awe uWu gwad x3 the uWu Dauphin >_> is UwU so >_> pweasant with us; 
ÚwÚ His xDD pwesent ÚwÚ and x3 youw ^w^ pains ^.^ we >_> thank xDD you ;;w;; fow. 
x3 When ^.^ we uWu have match'd UwU ouw >w< wackets to these uWu bawws, 
We xDD wiww uWu in >_< Fwance, ^.^ by >_> God's gwace, :33 pway :3 a uWu set 
Shall strike :33 his father's >_< cwown x3 into x3 the ÚwÚ hazawd. 
Teww ^.^ him ^.^ he hath UwU made :3 a >_< match with xDD such :3 a >_< wwangwew 
:33 That aww x3 the couwts of Fwance xDD wiww be distuwb'd 
With ;;w;; chaces. xDD And ^.^ we understand ^.^ him weww, 
How ^.^ he x3 comes ^-^ o'ew >_> us with UwU ouw uWu wiwdew uWu days, 
ÚwÚ Nyot measuring >_> what use ^.^ we UwU made of OwO them. 
We >_< nyevew ÚwÚ vawu'd ÚwÚ this poor uWu seat of x3 Engwand; 
xDD And OwO thewefowe, UwU wiving hence, uWu did UwU give :3 ouwsewf 
;;w;; To barbarous OwO wicence; >_< as UwU 'tis OwO evew ^w^ common 
:33 That ;;w;; men OwO awe >w< mewwiest when ;;w;; they OwO awe from >_> home. 
OwO But tell x3 the uWu Dauphin UwU I xDD wiww >_< keep x3 my state, 
^w^ Be ^.^ wike :3 a OwO king, ÚwÚ and x3 show x3 my saiw of greatness, 
x3 When UwU I UwU do wouse ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my >_< thwonye of Fwance; 
For :3 that UwU I uWu have laid ^.^ by x3 my ^.^ majesty 
xDD And pwodded ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man fow working-days; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww rise there with UwU so full :3 a :3 gwowy 
:33 That UwU I xDD wiww x3 dazzwe aww x3 the eyes of >_< Fwance, 
Yea, strike x3 the uWu Dauphin ^w^ bwind to wook on >_> us. 
xDD And tell x3 the >_> pweasant Prince ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ mock of :33 his 
>_< Hath >_> tuwn'd :33 his uWu bawws to UwU gun-stonyes, ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 souw 
Shall stand ^w^ sowe UwU chawged fow x3 the ^w^ wastefuw UwU vengeance 
:33 That UwU shaww fwy with OwO them; fow UwU many :3 a thousand widows 
Shall ÚwÚ this :33 his ÚwÚ mock ÚwÚ mock of uWu theiw uWu deaw husbands; 
uWu Mock mothews from uWu theiw sons, ÚwÚ mock ^.^ castwes down; 
xDD And x3 some OwO awe yet ungotten ÚwÚ and xDD unbown 
:33 That UwU shaww uWu have cause to UwU cuwse x3 the ;;w;; Dauphin's xDD scown. 
OwO But ÚwÚ this wies aww within x3 the xDD wiww of :33 God, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom UwU I UwU do appeal; ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 whose :33 nyame, 
Teww xDD you x3 the ÚwÚ Dauphin, UwU I ^w^ am xDD coming ;;w;; on, 
;;w;; To >_< venge ;;w;; me >_< as UwU I OwO may ÚwÚ and to put fowth 
OwO My wightfuw uWu hand uWu in :3 a well-hallow'd OwO cause. 
^w^ So get xDD you >w< hence uWu in :3 peace; ÚwÚ and tell x3 the uWu Dauphin 
ÚwÚ His xDD jest xDD wiww savouw >_> but of shallow ^w^ wit, 
x3 When thousands xDD weep ^.^ mowe than uWu did laugh uWu at :3 it. 
^.^ Convey them with >_< safe x3 conduct. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
Exeunt OwO AMBASSADOWS 
UwU EXETEW. This UwU was :3 a ^.^ mewwy uWu message. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. We UwU hope to >_< make x3 the sender bwush uWu at :3 it. 
>_< Thewefowe, x3 my wowds, x3 omit nyo ^w^ happy >_> houw 
:33 That OwO may UwU give x3 fuwth'wance to UwU ouw :3 expedition; 
For ^.^ we uWu have nyow nyo xDD thought uWu in >_> us >_> but >_< Fwance, 
:3 Save UwU those to :33 God, :3 that >w< wun >w< befowe UwU ouw business. 
Therefore wet UwU ouw proportions fow these UwU waws 
^w^ Be >w< soon collected, ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ things xDD thought ;;w;; upon 
:33 That OwO may with ^.^ weasonyabwe x3 swiftnyess >_< ad 
uWu Mowe feathers to UwU ouw xDD wings; for, ^w^ God x3 befowe, 
^-^ We'ww UwU chide ÚwÚ this uWu Dauphin uWu at :33 his father's UwU doow. 
Therefore wet every x3 man nyow :3 task :33 his xDD thought 
:33 That ÚwÚ this >w< faiw uWu action OwO may on :33 foot be ^-^ bwought. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. PROLOGUE. 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew CHORUS 

>_< CHOWUS. Now aww x3 the :33 youth of England OwO awe on ^w^ fiwe, 
xDD And siwken ^-^ dawwiance uWu in x3 the wardrobe >w< wies; 
Now x3 thwive x3 the ^w^ awmouwews, ÚwÚ and x3 honyouw's xDD thought 
UwU Weigns solely uWu in x3 the breast of every xDD man; 
^-^ They ;;w;; seww x3 the pastuwe nyow to UwU buy x3 the horse, 
:33 Fowwowing x3 the mirror of aww Christian >w< kings 
With >_> winged heews, >_< as :3 Engwish Mewcuwies. 
For nyow >_> sits uWu Expectation uWu in x3 the air, 
xDD And OwO hides :3 a xDD swowd from xDD hiwts >w< unto x3 the :33 point 
With :3 cwowns impewiaw, :33 cwowns, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ cowonyets, 
>_> Pwomis'd to ÚwÚ Hawwy ÚwÚ and :33 his fowwowews. 
uWu The Fwench, :33 advis'd ^.^ by ÚwÚ good ^.^ intewwigence 
Of ÚwÚ this UwU most :3 dweadfuw pwepawation, 
:33 Shake uWu in uWu theiw feaw ÚwÚ and with pawe UwU powicy 
;;w;; Seek to divert x3 the :3 Engwish purposes. 
x3 O England! :33 modew to >w< thy inward greatness, 
Wike xDD wittwe >w< body with :3 a ^-^ mighty uWu heawt, 
>_> What ÚwÚ mightst xDD thou UwU do :3 that honour ^.^ wouwd uWu thee UwU do, 
^.^ Wewe aww >w< thy x3 chiwdwen uWu kind ÚwÚ and natural! 
OwO But >_> see >w< thy >_> fauwt! Fwance hath uWu in uWu thee >_> found x3 out 
^-^ A nyest of OwO howwow UwU bosoms, which ^.^ he ^.^ fiwws 
With treacherous cwowns; ÚwÚ and >w< thwee cowwupted UwU men- 
One, Richard ^-^ Eaww of OwO Cambwidge, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD second, 
Henwy Lord :3 Scwoop of :3 Masham, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO thiwd, 
Sir Thomas Gwey, UwU knyight, of >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
xDD Have, fow x3 the gilt of ^-^ Fwance- x3 O guilt xDD indeed!- 
>_> Confiwm'd conspiracy with x3 feawfuw Fwance; 
xDD And ^.^ by uWu theiw ^.^ hands ÚwÚ this xDD gwace of >w< kings ^w^ must ;;w;; die- 
;;w;; If heww ÚwÚ and UwU tweason howd uWu theiw UwU pwomises, 
Ere ^.^ he OwO take ship fow ^-^ Fwance- ÚwÚ and uWu in ^.^ Southampton. 
^-^ Wingew x3 youw uWu patience ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and we'll digest 
xDD Th' abuse of ÚwÚ distance, force :3 a play. 
uWu The >w< sum >_> is ÚwÚ paid, x3 the traitors OwO awe ^w^ agweed, 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> is uWu set from Wondon, ÚwÚ and x3 the scene 
Is nyow >w< twanspowted, ÚwÚ gentwes, to Southampton; 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 the ;;w;; pway-house now, there ^w^ must xDD you ^.^ sit, 
xDD And thence to Fwance UwU shaww ^.^ we :33 convey xDD you >_< safe 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing xDD you back, OwO chawming x3 the nyawwow seas 
;;w;; To UwU give xDD you ^-^ gentwe UwU pass; for, >_> if ^.^ we may, 
^-^ We'ww nyot ^-^ offend one stomach with UwU ouw play. 
But, >w< tiww x3 the ^w^ King come ^-^ fowth, ÚwÚ and nyot >w< tiww >w< then, 
uWu Unto ^-^ Southampton UwU do ^.^ we OwO shift UwU ouw ;;w;; scenye. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Wondon. ^.^ Befowe x3 the Boar's Head >_> Tavewn, xDD Eastcheap 

Entew COWPOWAW x3 NYM ÚwÚ and x3 WIEUTENyANT ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

BARDOLPH. Weww :3 met, ^w^ Cowpowaw >_< Nym. 
OwO NYM. ^-^ Good morrow, Wieutenyant ^.^ Bawdowph. 
BARDOLPH. What, OwO awe Ancient Pistow ÚwÚ and xDD you ^w^ fwiends :33 yet? 
OwO NYM. For x3 my >_> pawt, UwU I :3 cawe x3 nyot; UwU I >_> say UwU wittwe, >_> but when time UwU shaww 
OwO sewve, there UwU shaww be smiwes- >_> but :3 that UwU shaww be >_< as >w< it may. UwU I dawe 
nyot fight; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww >_> wink ÚwÚ and howd x3 out >_< minye iwon. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a :33 simpwe 
onye; >_> but >_> what UwU though? ^.^ It xDD wiww >_< toast ÚwÚ cheese, ÚwÚ and >w< it xDD wiww OwO enduwe 
UwU cowd >_< as anyothew :33 man's xDD swowd :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and there's >w< an OwO end. 
BARDOLPH. UwU I xDD wiww bestow :3 a OwO bweakfast to >_< make xDD you >_< fwiends; ÚwÚ and we'll 
be aww >w< thwee sworn bwothews to Fwance. x3 Wet't be >_> so, ÚwÚ good ^w^ Cowpowaw 
>_< Nym. 
OwO NYM. Faith, UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ wive UwU so ^-^ wong >_< as UwU I may, ^w^ that's x3 the xDD cewtain of uWu it; 
ÚwÚ and when UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ wive xDD any wongew, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do >_< as UwU I may. :33 That >_> is x3 my 
^-^ west, :3 that >_> is x3 the rendezvous of :3 it. 
BARDOLPH. ^.^ It >_> is cewtain, uWu Cowpowaw, :3 that ^.^ he >_> is mawwied to ;;w;; Nyeww 
Quickwy; ÚwÚ and :3 cewtainwy ^.^ she uWu did xDD you wwong, fow xDD you :3 wewe 
uWu twoth-pwight to her. 
OwO NYM. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell; ^.^ things ^w^ must be >_< as ;;w;; they may. OwO Men OwO may sweep, ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; they OwO may uWu have uWu theiw ÚwÚ thwoats about them uWu at :3 that time; ÚwÚ and x3 some >_> say 
>_> knyives uWu have edges. ^.^ It ^w^ must be >_< as >w< it ;;w;; may; ^w^ though uWu patience be :3 a 
^w^ tiwed mare, yet ^.^ she xDD wiww xDD pwod. >_> Thewe ^w^ must be conclusions. xDD Weww, UwU I 
;;w;; cannyot tell. 

Entew PISTOW ÚwÚ and >_< HOSTESS 

BARDOLPH. :3 Hewe x3 comes Ancient Pistow ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 wife. ^-^ Good uWu Cowpowaw, be 
patient hewe. 
OwO NYM. How now, >_< minye host >w< Pistow! 
PISTOL. >w< Base ^-^ tike, caww'st xDD thou ;;w;; me >w< host? 
Now ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu hand, UwU I >_< sweaw UwU I ^w^ scown x3 the :3 tewm; 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww x3 my ;;w;; Nyeww >_< keep ÚwÚ wodgews. 
HOSTESS. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my troth, nyot xDD wong; fow ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot uWu wodge ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ boawd :3 a 
^.^ dozen ow ^.^ fouwteen gentlewomen :3 that ^w^ wive :3 honyestwy ^.^ by x3 the uWu pwick of 
uWu theiw needles, >_> but >w< it xDD wiww be xDD thought ^.^ we >_< keep :3 a x3 bawdy-house 
stwaight. >w< [Nym draws] x3 O xDD weww-a-day, Lady, >_> if ^.^ he be nyot dwawn! Now 
^.^ we UwU shaww >_> see ^.^ wiwfuw adultery ÚwÚ and murder :33 committed. 
BARDOLPH. ^-^ Good ^.^ Wieutenyant, ÚwÚ good uWu Cowpowaw, offer >_< nyothing hewe. 
OwO NYM. OwO Pish! 
PISTOL. ^.^ Pish fow ÚwÚ thee, Icewand dog! xDD thou prick-ear'd cur of 
Icewand! 
HOSTESS. ^-^ Good ^w^ Cowpowaw ;;w;; Nym, x3 show >w< thy uWu vawouw, ÚwÚ and put x3 up x3 youw ^-^ swowd. 
OwO NYM. Will xDD you >_< shog off? UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD you UwU sowus. 
PISTOL. >_> 'Sowus,' egwegious ÚwÚ dog? x3 O :33 vipew viwe! 
uWu The >_> 'sowus' uWu in >w< thy UwU most :33 mewvaiwous face; 
uWu The >_> 'sowus' uWu in >w< thy teeth, ÚwÚ and uWu in >w< thy throat, 
xDD And uWu in >w< thy hateful ;;w;; wungs, >w< yea, uWu in >w< thy xDD maw, >_> pewdy; 
^.^ And, which >_> is ^-^ wowse, within >w< thy ^-^ nyasty ^-^ mouth! 
UwU I UwU do xDD wetowt x3 the >_> 'sowus' uWu in >w< thy ÚwÚ bowews; 
For UwU I ^.^ can take, ÚwÚ and uWu Pistow's >_> cock >_> is up, 
xDD And >_< fwashing fire xDD wiww x3 fowwow. 
OwO NYM. UwU I ^w^ am nyot Barbason: xDD you ;;w;; cannyot x3 conjuwe x3 me. UwU I uWu have >w< an humouw to 
:3 knyock xDD you xDD indiffewentwy well. ;;w;; If xDD you gwow fouw with uWu me, ^.^ Pistow, UwU I 
xDD wiww scouw xDD you with x3 my wapiew, >_< as UwU I may, uWu in >w< faiw :33 tewms; >_> if xDD you 
^.^ wouwd UwU wawk x3 off UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu pwick x3 youw :33 guts :3 a UwU wittwe, uWu in ÚwÚ good ^w^ tewms, 
>_< as UwU I may, ÚwÚ and OwO thaes x3 the humouw of :3 it. 
PISTOL. x3 O braggart ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ and uWu damnyed ÚwÚ fuwious wight! 
uWu The :3 gwave xDD doth >_> gape ÚwÚ and >_< doting :33 death >_> is uWu nyeaw; 
Therefore uWu exhawe. >_< [PISTOW draws] 
BARDOLPH. >w< Heaw uWu me, hear ;;w;; me >_> what UwU I OwO say: ^.^ he :3 that :33 stwikes x3 the xDD fiwst 
^w^ stwoke I'll >w< wun ^.^ him x3 up to x3 the hilts, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a OwO sowdiew. 
[Draws] 
PISTOL. ^-^ An ^-^ oath of mickwe might; ÚwÚ and UwU fuwy UwU shaww :3 abate. 
>_< [PISTOW ÚwÚ and >w< Nym sheathe uWu theiw >_< swowds] 
Give ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu fist, >w< thy fore-foot to ;;w;; me ^w^ give; 
x3 Thy ;;w;; spiwits OwO awe UwU most ^.^ taww. 
OwO NYM. UwU I xDD wiww :3 cut >w< thy ^w^ thwoat one time ow ÚwÚ othew, uWu in >w< faiw :33 tewms; :3 that 
>_> is x3 the humouw of :3 it. 
PISTOL. x3 'Coupwe :3 a gowge!' 
:33 That >_> is x3 the OwO wowd. UwU I uWu thee ^.^ defy ;;w;; again. 
x3 O ^.^ hound of ^w^ Cwete, think'st xDD thou x3 my ^-^ spouse to get? 
No; to x3 the ^-^ spitaw x3 go, 
xDD And from x3 the powd'ring ^w^ tub of infamy 
^-^ Fetch fowth x3 the lazar ^w^ kite of Cwessid's ;;w;; kind, 
OwO Doww >_< Teawsheet ^.^ she ^.^ by :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and her :3 espouse. 
UwU I have, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww OwO howd, x3 the x3 quondam ;;w;; Quickwy 
For x3 the >w< onwy ^.^ she; and- ^w^ pauca, there's enyough. 
Go ;;w;; to. 

Entew x3 the uWu Boy 

BOY. Mine host ^.^ Pistow, xDD you ^w^ must come to x3 my mastew; ÚwÚ and x3 youw 
hostess- ^.^ he >_> is xDD vewy :33 sick, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd to :3 bed. ^-^ Good xDD Bawdowph, put 
>w< thy OwO face ^-^ between :33 his UwU sheets, ÚwÚ and UwU do x3 the ^.^ office of :3 a ^-^ wawming-pan. 
Faith, uWu he's xDD vewy ill. 
BARDOLPH. :33 Away, xDD you wogue. 
HOSTESS. ^-^ By x3 my troth, he'ww yield x3 the x3 cwow :3 a :3 pudding one of these 
^.^ days: x3 the ^w^ King >_> has kill'd :33 his ;;w;; heawt. ^-^ Good ^.^ husband, come ^.^ home 
presently. Exeunt >_< HOSTESS ÚwÚ and >_> BOY 
BARDOLPH. ^.^ Come, UwU shaww UwU I >_< make xDD you >w< two friends? We ^w^ must to Fwance 
together; >w< why x3 the ^.^ deviw >_> shouwd ^.^ we >_< keep >_> knyives to :3 cut one 
another's >w< thwoats? 
PISTOL. Let xDD fwoods >_< o'ewsweww, ÚwÚ and >w< fiends fow OwO food howl on! 
OwO NYM. You'll x3 pay ;;w;; me x3 the eight shiwwings UwU I ^.^ won of xDD you uWu at ^w^ betting? 
PISTOL. >w< Base >_> is x3 the ;;w;; swave :3 that pays. 
OwO NYM. :33 That nyow UwU I xDD wiww uWu have; ^w^ that's x3 the humouw of :3 it. 
PISTOL. ;;w;; As manhood UwU shaww ;;w;; compound: :3 push >_> home. 
>_< [PISTOW ÚwÚ and >w< Nym draw] 
BARDOLPH. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu swowd, ^.^ he :3 that x3 makes x3 the xDD fiwst thwust I'll OwO kiww 
him; ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu swowd, UwU I :33 wiww. 
PISTOL. x3 Swowd >_> is >w< an ;;w;; oath, ÚwÚ and >w< oaths ^w^ must uWu have uWu theiw course. 
OwO [Sheathes :33 his :3 swowd] 
BARDOLPH. ^w^ Cowpowaw ;;w;; Nym, >w< an xDD thou wiwt be OwO fwiends, be >_< fwiends; >w< an 
xDD thou wiwt >_> nyot, >w< why xDD then be >_< enyemies with ;;w;; me UwU too. UwU Pwithee put :33 up. 
OwO NYM. UwU I UwU shaww uWu have x3 my eight shiwwings UwU I ^.^ won of xDD you uWu at ^w^ betting? 
PISTOL. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe shalt xDD thou have, ÚwÚ and xDD pwesent :33 pay; 
xDD And liquor >_< wikewise xDD wiww UwU I UwU give to ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And ÚwÚ fwiendship UwU shaww OwO combinye, ÚwÚ and brotherhood. 
I'll ^w^ wive ^.^ by >w< Nym ÚwÚ and >w< Nym UwU shaww ^w^ wive ^.^ by x3 me. 
Is nyot ÚwÚ this just? For UwU I UwU shaww sutwew be 
uWu Unto x3 the :3 camp, ÚwÚ and pwofits xDD wiww accwue. 
Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. 
OwO NYM. [Sheathing :33 his :3 swowd] UwU I UwU shaww uWu have x3 my nyobwe? 
PISTOL. ^w^ In xDD cash UwU most >_< justwy paid. 
OwO NYM. >_< [Shaking :33 hands] xDD Weww, >w< then, ^w^ that's x3 the humouw OwO of't. 

^.^ We-entew >_< HOSTESS 

HOSTESS. ;;w;; As OwO evew xDD you come of UwU women, come uWu in quickly to Sir OwO John. 
xDD Ah, poor :33 heawt! ^.^ he >_> is UwU so shak'd of :3 a ^.^ buwnying xDD quotidian :33 tewtian 
:3 that >w< it >_> is UwU most lamentable to behold. ÚwÚ Sweet men, come to ^.^ him. 
OwO NYM. uWu The ^w^ King hath >w< wun :33 bad humours on x3 the ;;w;; knyight; ^w^ that's x3 the even 
of :3 it. 
PISTOL. ;;w;; Nym, xDD thou x3 hast ^-^ spoke x3 the right; 
ÚwÚ His >_< heawt >_> is uWu fwacted ÚwÚ and :33 cowwobowate. 
OwO NYM. uWu The ^w^ King >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good OwO king, >_> but >w< it ^w^ must be >_< as >w< it ;;w;; may; ^.^ he ^-^ passes 
x3 some humours ÚwÚ and careers. 
PISTOL. Let >_> us condowe x3 the ;;w;; knyight; for, x3 wambkins, ^.^ we xDD wiww wive. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^.^ Southampton. ^-^ A ;;w;; counciw-chambew 

Entew x3 EXETEW, ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, ÚwÚ and WESTMOWEWAND 

BEDFORD. ^-^ Fowe :33 God, :33 his Gwace >_> is >w< bowd, to :33 twust these twaitows. 
UwU EXETEW. ^-^ They UwU shaww be apprehended ^.^ by ÚwÚ and by. 
WESTMORELAND. How x3 smooth ÚwÚ and even ;;w;; they UwU do UwU beaw ^.^ themsewves, 
;;w;; As >_> if OwO awwegiance uWu in uWu theiw >_> bosoms uWu sat, 
uWu Cwownyed with :33 faith ÚwÚ and ^w^ constant loyalty! 
BEDFORD. uWu The ^w^ King hath ^-^ nyote of aww :3 that ;;w;; they >_> intend, 
^-^ By >_> intewception which ;;w;; they dweam nyot uWu of. 
UwU EXETEW. Nyay, >_> but x3 the x3 man :3 that UwU was :33 his x3 bedfewwow, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ he hath :3 duww'd ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cwoy'd with >_> gwacious ^-^ favouws- 
:33 That ^.^ he should, fow :3 a :33 foweign puwse, UwU so ;;w;; seww 
ÚwÚ His ^.^ suvweign's >w< wife to :33 death ÚwÚ and >w< tweachewy! 

Twumpets UwU sound. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, >_> SCWOOP, 
UwU CAMBWIDGE, x3 GWEY, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Now >_> sits x3 the wind faiw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU aboawd. 
OwO My Lord of OwO Cambwidge, ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu kind Lord of :3 Masham, 
xDD And UwU you, x3 my ^-^ gentwe UwU knyight, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< thoughts. 
^w^ Think xDD you nyot :3 that x3 the pow'rs ^.^ we UwU beaw with >_> us 
Will :3 cut uWu theiw uWu passage ^w^ thwough x3 the force of >_< Fwance, 
:33 Doing x3 the :33 execution ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; act 
For which ^.^ we uWu have uWu in >_> head >_> assembwed them? 
:33 SCWOOP. No doubt, x3 my ^.^ wiege, >_> if >_< each x3 man UwU do :33 his >_> best. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I doubt nyot :3 that, xDD since ^.^ we OwO awe weww >w< pewsuaded 
We carry nyot :3 a >_< heawt with >_> us from >w< hence 
:33 That gwows nyot uWu in :3 a >w< faiw >_< consent with >_> ouws; 
x3 Nyow OwO weave nyot one x3 behind :3 that xDD doth nyot ÚwÚ wish 
:33 Success ÚwÚ and conquest to >_< attend on >_> us. 
^-^ CAMBWIDGE. xDD Nyevew UwU was :33 monyawch xDD bettew feaw'd ÚwÚ and :3 wov'd 
Than >_> is x3 youw >_< Majesty. >_> Thewe's >_> nyot, UwU I >_< think, :3 a x3 subject 
:33 That >_> sits uWu in ;;w;; heawt-gwief ÚwÚ and uWu unyeasinyes 
;;w;; Undew x3 the x3 sweet shade of x3 youw >_< guvwnment. 
>_< GWEY. True: UwU those :3 that :3 wewe x3 youw father's >_< enyemies 
:3 Have uWu steep'd uWu theiw ÚwÚ gawws uWu in honyey, ÚwÚ and UwU do serve xDD you 
With heawts >w< cweate of >_> duty ÚwÚ and of xDD zeaw. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. We >_< thewefowe uWu have great cause of thankfuwnyess, 
xDD And UwU shaww x3 fowget x3 the ^.^ office of UwU ouw uWu hand 
;;w;; Soonyew than ÚwÚ quittance of desewt ÚwÚ and merit 
x3 Accowding to x3 the >_> weight ÚwÚ and worthiness. 
:33 SCWOOP. ^w^ So OwO sewvice UwU shaww with x3 steewed sinews :33 toiw, 
xDD And labour UwU shaww refresh itsewf with hope, 
;;w;; To UwU do x3 youw Gwace ^w^ incessant ^w^ sewvices. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. We OwO judge nyo :3 wess. Uncle of >_< Exetew, 
ÚwÚ Enwawge x3 the x3 man >_> committed ;;w;; yestewday 
:33 That UwU waiw'd OwO against UwU ouw person. We OwO considew 
^.^ It UwU was ^.^ excess of winye :3 that uWu set ^.^ him xDD on; 
xDD And on :33 his ^.^ mowe advice ^.^ we UwU pawdon ^.^ him. 
:33 SCWOOP. >w< That's mercy, >_> but ^w^ too much xDD secuwity. 
Let ^.^ him be uWu punyish'd, sovereign, xDD west ^w^ exampwe 
Breed, ^.^ by :33 his sufferance, ^.^ mowe of xDD such :3 a kind. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_< O, wet >_> us yet be ^.^ mewcifuw! 
^-^ CAMBWIDGE. ^w^ So OwO may x3 youw >w< Highnyess, ÚwÚ and yet punyish UwU too. 
>_< GWEY. UwU Siw, 
>_> You x3 show great xDD mewcy >_> if xDD you UwU give ^.^ him :3 wife, 
>w< Aftew x3 the >_> taste of much :3 cowwection. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 youw ^w^ too much wuv ÚwÚ and :3 cawe of ;;w;; me 
^w^ Awe x3 heavy xDD owisons uWu 'gainst ÚwÚ this poor OwO wwetch! 
;;w;; If xDD wittwe :33 fauwts proceeding on xDD distempew 
Shall nyot be wink'd :3 at, >w< how UwU shaww ^.^ we stretch UwU ouw ^w^ eye 
x3 When >w< capitaw >_< cwimes, chew'd, swallow'd, ÚwÚ and digested, 
Appear >w< befowe us? ^-^ We'ww yet >_< enwawge :3 that ^w^ man, 
;;w;; Though OwO Cambwidge, ^.^ Scwoop, ÚwÚ and Gwey, uWu in uWu theiw uWu deaw :3 cawe 
xDD And xDD tendew pwesewvation of UwU ouw pewson, 
Wouwd uWu have ^.^ him UwU punyish'd. xDD And nyow to UwU ouw OwO Fwench causes: 
Who OwO awe x3 the wate x3 commissionyews? 
^-^ CAMBWIDGE. UwU I one, x3 my OwO wowd. 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me ^w^ ask fow >w< it ^w^ to-day. 
:33 SCWOOP. ^w^ So uWu did xDD you uWu me, x3 my OwO wiege. 
>_< GWEY. xDD And I, x3 my royal OwO suvweign. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Then, Richard ^-^ Eaww of OwO Cambwidge, there >_> is OwO youws; 
>_> Thewe >_< youws, Lord :3 Scwoop of ^w^ Masham; x3 and, Sir Knyight, 
Grey of >_> Nyowthumbewwand, ÚwÚ this same >_> is x3 youws. 
xDD Wead ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw worthiness. 
OwO My Lord of uWu Westmowewand, ÚwÚ and :33 uncwe >_< Exetew, 
We xDD wiww OwO aboawd to-night. Why, >w< how now, :33 gentwemen? 
>_> What >_> see xDD you uWu in UwU those papers, :3 that xDD you wose 
^w^ So much >_< compwexion? Wook OwO ye >w< how ;;w;; they change! 
^-^ Theiw >_> cheeks OwO awe ^.^ papew. Why, >_> what ^w^ wead xDD you there 
:33 That uWu have UwU so xDD cowawded ÚwÚ and UwU chas'd x3 youw :3 bwood 
UwU Out of OwO appeawance? 
^-^ CAMBWIDGE. UwU I UwU do x3 confess x3 my ^w^ fauwt, 
xDD And UwU do :3 submit ;;w;; me to x3 youw Highness' mercy. 
x3 GWEY, :33 SCWOOP. ;;w;; To which ^.^ we aww :3 appeaw. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu The xDD mewcy :3 that UwU was ^w^ quick uWu in >_> us >_> but wate 
^-^ By x3 youw UwU own counsel >_> is suppress'd ÚwÚ and kill'd. 
>_> You ^w^ must nyot x3 dawe, fow UwU shame, to tawk of ÚwÚ mewcy; 
For x3 youw UwU own weasons turn x3 into x3 youw >_> bosoms 
;;w;; As ^.^ dogs ;;w;; upon uWu theiw mastews, uWu wowwying OwO you. 
xDD See UwU you, x3 my pwinces ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 nyobwe ^-^ peews, 
;;w;; These :3 Engwish monstews! OwO My Lord of Cambridge here- 
>_> You ^.^ knyow >w< how ^-^ apt UwU ouw wuv UwU was to ;;w;; accowd 
;;w;; To furnish ^.^ him with >w< an ^.^ appewtinyents 
:3 Bewonging to :33 his honour; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this x3 man 
>_< Hath, fow :3 a x3 few >w< wight :33 cwowns, >w< wightwy >_> conspiw'd, 
xDD And sworn >w< unto x3 the pwactices of Fwance 
;;w;; To OwO kiww >_> us OwO hewe uWu in >w< Hampton; to x3 the which 
This UwU knyight, nyo less fow >_> bounty bound to >_> us 
Than Cambridge ;;w;; is, hath >_< wikewise swown. But, >_< O, 
>_> What UwU shaww UwU I >_> say to ÚwÚ thee, Lord ^.^ Scwoop, xDD thou ^-^ cwuew, 
xDD Ingwatefuw, uWu savage, ÚwÚ and UwU inhuman creature? 
^.^ Thou :3 that :33 didst UwU beaw x3 the OwO key of aww x3 my OwO counsews, 
:33 That x3 knyew'st x3 the xDD vewy :3 bottom of x3 my x3 souw, 
:33 That almost ÚwÚ mightst uWu have :3 coin'd ;;w;; me x3 into ^.^ gowd, 
Wouldst xDD thou uWu have ÚwÚ pwactis'd on ;;w;; me fow >w< thy UwU use- 
^-^ May >w< it be OwO possibwe :3 that :33 foweign uWu hiwe 
Could x3 out of uWu thee ^-^ extwact one spawk of eviw 
:33 That ^w^ might ^w^ annyoy x3 my ^-^ fingew? 'Tis UwU so ;;w;; stwange 
^.^ That, ^w^ though x3 the uWu twuth of >w< it >w< stands x3 off >_< as gwoss 
;;w;; As black ÚwÚ and >_< white, x3 my ^w^ eye xDD wiww uWu scawcewy >_> see :3 it. 
Treason ÚwÚ and murder OwO evew :33 kept together, 
;;w;; As >w< two ^w^ yoke-deviws sworn to uWu eithew's xDD puwpose, 
Wowking UwU so grossly uWu in :3 a natural cause 
:33 That admiration uWu did nyot ^.^ whoop uWu at OwO them; 
OwO But UwU thou, uWu 'gainst aww proportion, :33 didst ;;w;; bwing uWu in 
>w< Wondew to wait on UwU tweason ÚwÚ and on :3 muwdew; 
xDD And ^-^ whatsoevew x3 cunnying >_< fiend >w< it UwU was 
:33 That ;;w;; wwought ;;w;; upon uWu thee UwU so ^w^ pwepostewouswy 
>_< Hath ^w^ got x3 the uWu voice uWu in heww fow >_> excewwence; 
xDD And othew xDD deviws :3 that ^.^ suggest ^.^ by :3 tweasons 
Do x3 botch ÚwÚ and ^w^ bungwe x3 up uWu damnyation 
With >_> patches, cowouws, ÚwÚ and with x3 fowms, ^.^ being UwU fetch'd 
Fwom :33 gwist'wing ^-^ sembwances of xDD piety; 
OwO But ^.^ he :3 that tempew'd uWu thee ;;w;; bade uWu thee stand up, 
Gave uWu thee nyo uWu instance >w< why xDD thou shouwdst UwU do uWu tweason, 
OwO Unwess to ^.^ dub uWu thee with x3 the xDD nyame of traitor. 
;;w;; If :3 that same x3 demon :3 that hath gull'd uWu thee OwO thus 
Should with :33 his wion :33 gait UwU wawk x3 the whole ^w^ wowwd, 
>w< He ^w^ might ^-^ wetuwn to ÚwÚ vasty Tartar back, 
xDD And tell x3 the legions ÚwÚ 'I ^.^ can >_< nyevew x3 win 
^-^ A :3 souw UwU so ^w^ easy >_< as :3 that Engwishman's.' 
>_< O, >w< how x3 hast xDD thou with ^.^ jeawousy xDD infected 
uWu The sweetness of ;;w;; affiance! uWu Show ;;w;; men dutifuw? 
Why, UwU so :33 didst thou. Seem ;;w;; they :3 gwave ÚwÚ and learned? 
Why, UwU so :33 didst thou. :3 Come ;;w;; they of x3 nyobwe famiwy? 
Why, UwU so :33 didst thou. Seem ;;w;; they >_< wewigious? 
Why, UwU so :33 didst thou. :33 Ow OwO awe ;;w;; they ^-^ spawe uWu in ;;w;; diet, 
Fwee from gwoss passion ow of >_< miwth ow anger, 
Constant uWu in ^-^ spiwit, nyot :3 swewving with x3 the bwood, 
xDD Gawnyish'd ÚwÚ and deck'd uWu in :3 modest complement, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< wowking with x3 the ^w^ eye ^-^ without x3 the eaw, 
xDD And >_> but uWu in puwged ^w^ judgment >_< twusting OwO nyeithew? 
>w< Such ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU finyewy :33 bowted :33 didst xDD thou seem; 
xDD And OwO thus >w< thy faww hath left :3 a uWu kind of uWu bwot 
;;w;; To mark x3 the full-fraught x3 man ÚwÚ and best :33 indued 
With x3 some suspicion. UwU I xDD wiww xDD weep fow ÚwÚ thee; 
For ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wevowt of xDD thinye, UwU methinks, >_> is ^.^ wike 
ÚwÚ Anyothew faww of man. ^-^ Theiw :33 fauwts OwO awe open. 
Arrest them to x3 the answew of x3 the UwU waw; 
xDD And ^w^ God xDD acquit them of uWu theiw uWu pwactices! 
UwU EXETEW. UwU I ;;w;; awwest uWu thee of xDD high uWu tweason, ^.^ by x3 the xDD nyame of Richard ^-^ Eaww 
of ^w^ Cambwidge. 
UwU I ;;w;; awwest uWu thee of xDD high uWu tweason, ^.^ by x3 the xDD nyame of Henwy Lord :3 Scwoop 
of :33 Masham. 
UwU I ;;w;; awwest uWu thee of xDD high uWu tweason, ^.^ by x3 the xDD nyame of Thomas Gwey, 
UwU knyight, of >_< Nyowthumbewwand. 
:33 SCWOOP. Our uWu puwposes ^w^ God >_< justwy hath ^.^ discuvw'd, 
xDD And UwU I wepent x3 my ;;w;; fauwt ^.^ mowe than x3 my ÚwÚ death; 
>_< Which UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw >_> Highnyess to fowgive, 
Awthough x3 my >w< body x3 pay x3 the pwice of :3 it. 
^-^ CAMBWIDGE. For uWu me, x3 the gowd of Fwance uWu did nyot ^-^ seduce, 
Awthough UwU I uWu did ^w^ admit >w< it >_< as :3 a motive 
uWu The :33 soonyew to ^w^ effect >_> what UwU I OwO intended; 
OwO But ^w^ God be ^-^ thanked fow :3 pwevention, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu in sufferance UwU heawtiwy xDD wiww wejoice, 
^w^ Beseeching ^w^ God ÚwÚ and xDD you to UwU pawdon x3 me. 
>_< GWEY. xDD Nyevew uWu did faithfuw x3 subject ^.^ mowe rejoice 
At x3 the ^-^ discuvwy of UwU most uWu dangewous UwU tweason 
Than UwU I UwU do uWu at ÚwÚ this >_> houw joy ^-^ o'ew myself, 
;;w;; Pwevented from :3 a uWu damnyed enterprise. 
OwO My ^w^ fauwt, >_> but nyot x3 my ;;w;; body, pardon, OwO suvweign. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ God ^.^ quit xDD you uWu in :33 his mercy! >w< Heaw x3 youw :33 sentence. 
>_> You uWu have :3 conspiw'd OwO against UwU ouw royal pewson, 
Join'd with >w< an ;;w;; enyemy pwocwaim'd, ÚwÚ and from :33 his >_< coffews 
xDD Weceiv'd x3 the golden xDD eawnyest of UwU ouw ÚwÚ death; 
^-^ Whewein xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu have sold x3 youw x3 king to slaughter, 
ÚwÚ His pwinces ÚwÚ and :33 his peews to OwO sewvitude, 
ÚwÚ His subjects to oppwession ÚwÚ and ^.^ contempt, 
xDD And :33 his whole ^w^ kingdom x3 into desolation. 
:3 Touching UwU ouw ÚwÚ pewson >_> seek ^.^ we nyo ^w^ wevenge; 
OwO But ^.^ we UwU ouw kingdom's :33 safety ^w^ must UwU so ÚwÚ tendew, 
>_< Whose xDD wuin xDD you uWu have sought, :3 that to her UwU waws 
We UwU do ÚwÚ dewivew OwO you. >_< Get xDD you >_< thewefowe hence, 
OwO Poow >w< misewabwe uWu wwetches, to x3 youw ÚwÚ death; 
uWu The >_> taste xDD wheweof ^w^ God of :33 his xDD mewcy UwU give 
>_> You uWu patience to xDD enduwe, ÚwÚ and true OwO wepentance 
Of aww x3 youw uWu deaw xDD offences. ÚwÚ Beaw them x3 hence. 
Exeunt UwU CAMBWIDGE, >_> SCWOOP, ÚwÚ and x3 GWEY, guawded 
>_> Nyow, wowds, fow Fwance; x3 the uWu entewpwise xDD wheweof 
Shall be to xDD you >_< as >_> us ^.^ wike ;;w;; gwowious. 
We doubt nyot of :3 a >w< faiw ÚwÚ and ^-^ wucky waw, 
Since ^w^ God UwU so x3 gwaciouswy hath ^.^ bwought to >w< wight 
This uWu dangewous uWu tweason, xDD wuwking uWu in UwU ouw uWu way 
;;w;; To ^w^ hindew UwU ouw ^.^ beginnyings; ^.^ we doubt nyot nyow 
OwO But every :3 wub >_> is uWu smoothed on UwU ouw >_> way. 
Then, ^-^ fowth, uWu deaw countwymen; wet >_> us ÚwÚ dewivew 
Our puissance x3 into x3 the uWu hand of :33 God, 
^.^ Putting >w< it ^w^ stwaight uWu in UwU expedition. 
Cheewwy to sea; x3 the signs of >w< waw xDD advance; 
No x3 king of England, >_> if nyot x3 king of France! 
>w< Fwouwish. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^w^ Eastcheap. ^.^ Befowe x3 the Boar's Head ^.^ tavewn 

Entew x3 PISTOW, ;;w;; HOSTESS, ^.^ NYM, uWu BAWDOWPH, ÚwÚ and uWu Boy 

HOSTESS. Prithee, >_> honyey-sweet ^.^ husband, wet ;;w;; me ;;w;; bwing uWu thee to 
Staines. 
PISTOL. No; fow x3 my xDD manwy >_< heawt xDD doth earn. 
xDD Bawdowph, be OwO bwithe; ;;w;; Nym, wouse >w< thy >_< vaunting UwU veins; 
:33 Boy, xDD bwistwe >w< thy couwage :33 up. For Falstaff ^.^ he >_> is >_< dead, 
xDD And ^.^ we ^w^ must eawn ^w^ thewefowe. 
BARDOLPH. Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe with :3 him, ^w^ whewesome'ew ^.^ he ;;w;; is, xDD eithew uWu in 
heaven ow uWu in >_< heww! 
HOSTESS. Nyay, x3 suwe, uWu he's nyot uWu in OwO heww: uWu he's uWu in Arthur's x3 bosom, >_> if 
OwO evew x3 man OwO went to Arthur's ÚwÚ bosom. >_> 'A UwU made :3 a finer ^w^ end, ÚwÚ and OwO went 
OwO away >w< an >w< it xDD had :33 been xDD any UwU chwistom child; xDD 'a pawted ev'n >w< just 
^-^ between >_< twewve ÚwÚ and one, ev'n uWu at x3 the ;;w;; tuwnying ^.^ o' x3 th' tide; fow 
ÚwÚ aftew UwU I saw ^.^ him fumble with x3 the UwU sheets, ÚwÚ and :33 pway with flowers, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; smiwe ;;w;; upon :33 his fingews' ^w^ end, UwU I UwU knyew there UwU was >_> but one way; 
fow :33 his x3 nyose UwU was >_< as ^-^ shawp >_< as :3 a pen, ÚwÚ and xDD 'a OwO babbw'd of green 
^-^ fiewds. ^.^ 'How now, Sir ÚwÚ John!' quoth UwU I :33 'What, ^w^ man, be ^.^ o' ÚwÚ good 
uWu cheew.' ^w^ So xDD 'a cried x3 out ;;w;; 'God, :33 God, God!' >w< thwee ow fouw times. Now 
I, to uWu comfowt :3 him, bid ^.^ him xDD 'a >_> shouwd nyot think of x3 God; UwU I ^w^ hop'd 
there UwU was nyo >_< nyeed to >_> twoubwe >_< himsewf with xDD any xDD such >_< thoughts >_> yet. 
^w^ So xDD 'a ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me uWu way ^.^ mowe x3 cwothes on :33 his feet; UwU I put x3 my uWu hand x3 into 
x3 the x3 bed ÚwÚ and UwU fewt ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they :3 wewe >_< as UwU cowd >_< as xDD any stonye; xDD then UwU I 
UwU fewt to :33 his uWu knyees, ÚwÚ and UwU so upward ÚwÚ and upward, ÚwÚ and aww UwU was >_< as UwU cowd 
>_< as xDD any uWu stonye. 
OwO NYM. ^-^ They >_> say ^.^ he cried x3 out of :33 sack. 
HOSTESS. Ay, :3 that xDD 'a ^.^ did. 
BARDOLPH. xDD And of ^w^ women. 
HOSTESS. Nyay, :3 that xDD 'a uWu did not. 
BOY. Yes, :3 that xDD 'a ^-^ did, ÚwÚ and uWu said ;;w;; they :3 wewe xDD deviws >w< incawnyate. 
HOSTESS. >_> 'A couwd >_< nyevew abide x3 cawnyation; uWu 'twas :3 a colour ^.^ he >_< nyevew 
:33 wiked. 
BOY. >_> 'A uWu said >_> once x3 the ^.^ deviw ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ him about ^w^ women. 
HOSTESS. >_> 'A uWu did uWu in x3 some sort, :33 indeed, handle ^w^ women; >_> but xDD then ^.^ he UwU was 
rheumatic, ÚwÚ and ^w^ tawk'd of x3 the OwO Whowe of :3 Babywon. 
BOY. Do xDD you nyot remember xDD 'a saw :3 a fwea OwO stick ;;w;; upon Bardolph's nose, 
ÚwÚ and xDD 'a uWu said >w< it UwU was :3 a black :3 souw ^.^ buwnying uWu in :33 heww? 
BARDOLPH. xDD Weww, x3 the x3 fuew >_> is >_> gonye :3 that ÚwÚ maintain'd :3 that ;;w;; fiwe: ^w^ that's 
aww x3 the ^w^ wiches UwU I ^w^ got uWu in :33 his service. 
OwO NYM. Shall ^.^ we ^-^ shog? uWu The ^w^ King xDD wiww be >_> gonye from ^.^ Southampton. 
PISTOL. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's xDD away. OwO My xDD wuv, UwU give ;;w;; me >w< thy x3 wips. 
Wook to x3 my >w< chattwes ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ muvabwes; 
Let :33 senses rule. uWu The ;;w;; wowd >_> is xDD 'Pitch ÚwÚ and ^w^ Pay.' 
Twust x3 nyonye; 
For >w< oaths OwO awe OwO stwaws, men's :33 faiths OwO awe wafer-cakes, 
xDD And ;;w;; Howdfast >_> is x3 the >w< onwy dog, x3 my :3 duck. 
>_< Thewefowe, >_< Caveto be >w< thy counsellor. 
^w^ Go, ^-^ cweaw >w< thy xDD cwystaws. Yoke-fellows uWu in awms, 
Let >_> us to >_< Fwance, ^.^ wike ^.^ howse-weeches, x3 my boys, 
;;w;; To x3 suck, to x3 suck, x3 the xDD vewy :3 bwood to >_> suck. 
BOY. xDD And ^w^ that's >_> but ^.^ unwhowesome ^w^ food, ;;w;; they :3 say. 
PISTOL. Touch her soft xDD mouth ÚwÚ and >w< mawch. 
BARDOLPH. UwU Faweweww, hostess. >w< [Kissing :3 hew] 
OwO NYM. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ kiss, :3 that >_> is x3 the humouw of uWu it; >_> but ^w^ adieu. 
PISTOL. Let housewifewy appear; >_< keep cwose, UwU I uWu thee >_> command. 
HOSTESS. Farewell; ^w^ adieu. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
Fwance. uWu The KING'S ^w^ pawace 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew x3 the >_< FWENCH ;;w;; KING, x3 the DAUPHIN, x3 the DUKES ÚwÚ OF BERRI 
ÚwÚ and >w< BWITAINyE, x3 the ^-^ CONSTABWE, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

>_< FWENCH >w< KING. ^-^ Thus x3 comes x3 the :3 Engwish with full powew ;;w;; upon us; 
xDD And ^.^ mowe than uWu cawefuwwy >w< it >_> us uWu concewns 
;;w;; To answew ÚwÚ woyawwy uWu in UwU ouw uWu defences. 
Therefore x3 the >_> Dukes of Berri ÚwÚ and of Britaine, 
Of Brabant ÚwÚ and of ^.^ Owweans, UwU shaww >_< make ^-^ fowth, 
xDD And UwU you, Prince ÚwÚ Dauphin, with aww UwU swift >_> dispatch, 
;;w;; To winye ÚwÚ and x3 nyew repair UwU ouw UwU towns of >w< waw 
With ;;w;; men of couwage ÚwÚ and with means OwO defendant; 
For England :33 his >_< appwoaches x3 makes >_< as >_< fiewce 
;;w;; As watews to x3 the x3 sucking of :3 a gulf. 
^.^ It ^w^ fits us, >w< then, to be >_< as >w< pwovident 
;;w;; As feaw OwO may >_< teach us, x3 out of wate xDD exampwes 
Left ^.^ by x3 the uWu fataw ÚwÚ and neglected :3 Engwish 
>_> Upon UwU ouw ^-^ fiewds. 
OwO DAUPHIN. OwO My UwU most wedoubted ÚwÚ fathew, 
^.^ It >_> is UwU most :3 meet ^.^ we awm >_> us uWu 'gainst x3 the >_< foe; 
For uWu peace itsewf >_> shouwd nyot UwU so dull :3 a :33 kingdom, 
;;w;; Though >w< waw nor nyo ÚwÚ knyown ^-^ quawwew :3 wewe uWu in ^.^ question, 
OwO But :3 that defences, musters, uWu pwepawations, 
Should be :3 maintain'd, assembwed, ÚwÚ and collected, 
;;w;; As :3 wewe :3 a >w< waw uWu in ;;w;; expectation. 
>_< Thewefowe, UwU I say, UwU 'tis :3 meet ^.^ we aww OwO go fowth 
;;w;; To x3 view x3 the >w< sick ÚwÚ and feebwe parts of Fwance; 
xDD And wet >_> us UwU do >w< it with nyo x3 show of >w< feaw- 
:3 Nyo, with nyo ^.^ mowe than >_> if ^.^ we heard :3 that England 
^.^ Wewe ;;w;; busied with :3 a ^w^ Whitsun >w< mowwis-dance; 
For, x3 my ÚwÚ good ^.^ wiege, ^.^ she >_> is UwU so idly >w< king'd, 
:3 Hew sceptre UwU so >w< fantasticawwy :3 bownye 
^-^ By :3 a vain, uWu giddy, ^w^ shawwow, humorous youth, 
:33 That feaw ^.^ attends her not. 
:3 CONSTABWE. x3 O ÚwÚ peace, Prince Dauphin! 
>_> You OwO awe ^w^ too much ^.^ mistaken uWu in ÚwÚ this king. 
x3 Question x3 youw Gwace x3 the wate ambassadors 
With >_> what great >w< state ^.^ he heard uWu theiw >w< embassy, 
How weww x3 suppwied with x3 nyobwe ^w^ counsewwows, 
How :3 modest uWu in >w< exception, ÚwÚ and withal 
How tewwibwe uWu in ^w^ constant :33 wesowution, 
xDD And xDD you UwU shaww find :33 his vanities UwU fowespent 
^.^ Wewe >_> but x3 the uWu outside of x3 the Roman >_> Bwutus, 
Covering discretion with :3 a >_> coat of :3 fowwy; 
;;w;; As :3 gawdenyews UwU do with uWu owduwe hide UwU those ^-^ woots 
:33 That UwU shaww xDD fiwst ^-^ spwing ÚwÚ and be UwU most dewicate. 
OwO DAUPHIN. xDD Weww, UwU 'tis nyot >_> so, x3 my Lord xDD High ÚwÚ Constabwe; 
OwO But ^w^ though ^.^ we think >w< it >_> so, >w< it >_> is nyo :3 mattew. 
^w^ In xDD cases of x3 defence UwU 'tis best to >w< weigh 
uWu The ;;w;; enyemy ^.^ mowe ^-^ mighty than ^.^ he :33 seems; 
^w^ So x3 the proportions of x3 defence OwO awe OwO fiww'd; 
>_< Which of :3 a xDD weak ÚwÚ and >w< nyiggawdwy projection 
^-^ Doth ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ misew :33 spoiw :33 his >_> coat with >_< scanting 
^-^ A xDD wittwe >w< cwoth. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. ^w^ Think ^.^ we ^w^ King ÚwÚ Hawwy strong; 
^.^ And, Pwinces, wook xDD you >_< stwongwy awm to :3 meet ^.^ him. 
uWu The >w< kindwed of ^.^ him hath :33 been fwesh'd ;;w;; upon us; 
xDD And ^.^ he >_> is bwed x3 out of :3 that bwoody ;;w;; stwain 
:33 That xDD haunted >_> us uWu in UwU ouw ^.^ famiwiaw paths. 
Witness UwU ouw ^w^ too much :3 memowabwe ^-^ shame 
x3 When >_> Cwessy ÚwÚ battwe x3 fatawwy UwU was struck, 
xDD And aww UwU ouw pwinces capdv'd ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand 
Of :3 that black :33 nyame, Edwawd, ;;w;; Bwack Prince of >w< Wawes; 
Whiwes :3 that :33 his OwO mountain siwe- on OwO mountain standing, 
Up uWu in x3 the air, cwown'd with x3 the golden UwU sun- 
^.^ Saw :33 his hewoicaw >_> seed, ÚwÚ and ^w^ smiw'd to >_> see :3 him, 
:33 Mangwe x3 the ^.^ wowk of nyatuwe, ÚwÚ and x3 deface 
uWu The ;;w;; pattewns :3 that ^.^ by ^w^ God ÚwÚ and ^.^ by OwO Fwench uWu fathews 
xDD Had ÚwÚ twenty years :33 been >_> made. This >_> is :3 a xDD stewn 
Of :3 that ;;w;; victowious OwO stock; ÚwÚ and wet >_> us feaw 
uWu The OwO nyative xDD mightinyess ÚwÚ and fate of ^.^ him. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. >w< Ambassadows from ÚwÚ Hawwy ^w^ King of England 
Do ^w^ cwave ÚwÚ admittance to x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. ^-^ We'ww UwU give them xDD pwesent audience. Go ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing OwO them. 
Exeunt MESSENGEW ÚwÚ and xDD cewtain ;;w;; WOWDS 
>_> You >_> see ÚwÚ this OwO chase >_> is hotly ^.^ fowwowed, fwiends. 
OwO DAUPHIN. Tuwn >_> head ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ stop UwU puwsuit; fow x3 cowawd ^.^ dogs 
:3 Most spend uWu theiw mouths when >_> what ;;w;; they xDD seem to >_> thweaten 
;;w;; Wuns uWu faw >w< befowe OwO them. ^-^ Good x3 my sovereign, 
^.^ Take x3 up x3 the :3 Engwish ^.^ showt, ÚwÚ and wet them ^.^ knyow 
Of >_> what :3 a monyawchy xDD you OwO awe x3 the >_> head. 
>_> Sewf-wuv, x3 my ^.^ wiege, >_> is nyot UwU so ^-^ viwe :3 a x3 sin 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ sewf-nyegwecting. 

^.^ We-entew LORDS, with >_> EXETEW ÚwÚ and twain 

>_< FWENCH >w< KING. Fwom UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew of Engwand? 
UwU EXETEW. Fwom :3 him, ÚwÚ and OwO thus ^.^ he greets x3 youw ^.^ Majesty: 
>w< He wills UwU you, uWu in x3 the xDD nyame of ^w^ God ;;w;; Awmighty, 
:33 That xDD you >_< divest yourself, ÚwÚ and uWu way UwU apawt 
uWu The bowwowed :33 gwowies :3 that ^.^ by ^w^ gift of ^.^ heaven, 
^-^ By law of ÚwÚ nyatuwe ÚwÚ and of ;;w;; nyations, ÚwÚ 'wongs 
;;w;; To ^.^ him ÚwÚ and to :33 his >w< heiws- nyamewy, x3 the :3 cwown, 
xDD And aww ÚwÚ wide-stwetched honyouws :3 that pertain, 
^-^ By ;;w;; custom ÚwÚ and x3 the ordinance of xDD times, 
uWu Unto x3 the >_< cwown of Fwance. :33 That xDD you OwO may ^.^ knyow 
'Tis nyo sinyistew nor nyo awkward claim, 
>_> Pick'd from x3 the OwO wowm-howes of UwU wong-vanyish'd uWu days, 
x3 Nyow from x3 the x3 dust of ;;w;; owd oblivion rak'd, 
>w< He OwO sends xDD you ÚwÚ this UwU most :3 memowabwe xDD winye, xDD [Gives :3 a ÚwÚ papew] 
^w^ In every branch :33 twuwy uWu demonstwative; 
:3 Wiwwing xDD you overlook ÚwÚ this ^-^ pedigwee. 
xDD And when xDD you find ^.^ him evenwy deriv'd 
Fwom :33 his UwU most ^.^ fam'd of famous ancestors, 
Edward x3 the Third, ^.^ he UwU bids xDD you xDD then resign 
uWu Youw >_< cwown ÚwÚ and :33 kingdom, indirectly hewd 
Fwom :3 him, x3 the OwO nyative ÚwÚ and true ÚwÚ chawwengew. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. :33 Ow >_> ewse >_> what :3 fowwows? 
UwU EXETEW. :3 Bwoody UwU constwaint; fow >_> if xDD you hide x3 the >_< cwown 
Even uWu in x3 youw hearts, there xDD wiww ^.^ he wake fow :3 it. 
Therefore uWu in >_< fiewce UwU tempest >_> is ^.^ he uWu coming, 
^w^ In >_> thundew ÚwÚ and uWu in earthquake, ^.^ wike :3 a Juv, 
:33 That >_> if ^.^ wequiwing fail, ^.^ he xDD wiww xDD compew; 
xDD And UwU bids UwU you, uWu in x3 the bowels of x3 the Wowd, 
Deliver x3 up x3 the >_< cwown; ÚwÚ and to OwO take xDD mewcy 
On x3 the poor >w< souws fow ÚwÚ whom ÚwÚ this hungwy >w< waw 
:33 Opens :33 his ÚwÚ vasty jaws; ÚwÚ and on x3 youw >_> head 
UwU Tuwnying x3 the :3 widows' ^-^ teaws, x3 the orphans' cries, 
uWu The >_< dead men's bwood, x3 the privy >_> maidens' :33 gwoans, 
For uWu husbands, fathers, ÚwÚ and OwO betwothed >_> wuvws, 
:33 That UwU shaww be ^.^ swawwowed uWu in ÚwÚ this controversy. 
This >_> is :33 his claim, :33 his UwU thweat'nying, ÚwÚ and x3 my ^.^ message; 
OwO Unwess x3 the uWu Dauphin be uWu in x3 pwesence UwU hewe, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom >w< expwesswy UwU I ;;w;; bwing :3 gweeting UwU too. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. For us, ^.^ we xDD wiww OwO considew of ÚwÚ this >w< fuwthew; 
>_< To-mowwow UwU shaww xDD you UwU beaw UwU ouw full :3 intent 
:3 Back to UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew of ^w^ Engwand. 
OwO DAUPHIN. For x3 the ^.^ Dauphin: 
UwU I stand OwO hewe fow ^.^ him. >_> What to ^.^ him from Engwand? 
UwU EXETEW. >w< Scown ÚwÚ and >w< defiance, :3 swight regard, ^.^ contempt, 
xDD And ;;w;; anything :3 that OwO may nyot >w< misbecome 
uWu The ^-^ mighty x3 sendew, xDD doth ^.^ he >w< pwize xDD you at. 
^-^ Thus ;;w;; says x3 my uWu king: >w< an >_> if x3 youw father's >_> Highnyess 
Do >_> nyot, uWu in gwant of aww uWu demands uWu at wawge, 
:33 Sweeten x3 the UwU bittew ÚwÚ mock xDD you sent :33 his ÚwÚ Majesty, 
^-^ He'ww caww xDD you to UwU so :3 hot >w< an answew of >w< it 
:33 That caves ÚwÚ and ;;w;; womby UwU vauwtages of Fwance 
Shall UwU chide x3 youw trespass ÚwÚ and ^-^ wetuwn x3 youw ÚwÚ mock 
^w^ In second xDD accent of :33 his ÚwÚ owdinyance. 
OwO DAUPHIN. Say, >_> if x3 my >w< fathew render >w< faiw wetuwn, 
^.^ It >_> is OwO against x3 my :33 wiww; fow UwU I ^.^ desiwe 
Nyothing >_> but ^w^ odds with ^w^ Engwand. ;;w;; To :3 that ^w^ end, 
;;w;; As matching to :33 his :33 youth ÚwÚ and OwO vanyity, 
UwU I uWu did xDD pwesent ^.^ him with x3 the Paris OwO bawws. 
UwU EXETEW. ^-^ He'ww >_< make x3 youw Paris Wouvwe ;;w;; shake fow :33 it, 
^.^ Wewe >w< it x3 the mistwess court of ^-^ mighty >w< Euwope; 
xDD And be x3 assuw'd you'ww find :3 a ÚwÚ diffewence, 
;;w;; As ^.^ we :33 his subjects uWu have uWu in wonder >_> found, 
Between x3 the promise of :33 his ^.^ gweenyew OwO days 
xDD And these ^.^ he >w< mastews now. Now ^.^ he :3 weighs time 
Even to x3 the utmost grain; :3 that xDD you UwU shaww ^w^ wead 
^w^ In x3 youw UwU own losses, >_> if ^.^ he xDD stay uWu in Fwance. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. >_< To-mowwow UwU shaww xDD you ^.^ knyow UwU ouw ^-^ mind uWu at ^w^ fuww. 
UwU EXETEW. OwO Dispatch >_> us with aww speed, xDD west :3 that UwU ouw x3 king 
:3 Come OwO hewe >_< himsewf to ;;w;; question UwU ouw >_< deway; 
For ^.^ he >_> is OwO footed uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand >_< awweady. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. >_> You UwU shaww be >w< soon x3 dispatch'd with >w< faiw conditions. 
^-^ A >w< nyight >_> is >_> but UwU smaww UwU bweath ÚwÚ and xDD wittwe :3 pause 
;;w;; To answew uWu mattews of ÚwÚ this consequence. >w< Fwouwish. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT >_> III. PROLOGUE. 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew CHORUS 

>_< CHOWUS. ^-^ Thus with xDD imagin'd OwO wing UwU ouw UwU swift scene flies, 
^w^ In >_> motion of nyo less OwO cewewity 
Than :3 that of thought. >_> Suppose :3 that xDD you uWu have :3 seen 
uWu The ^.^ weww-appointed ^w^ King uWu at Hampton :33 piew 
Embawk :33 his royalty; ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< bwave :33 fweet 
With siwken streamers x3 the xDD young >_< Phowbus fanning. 
>_> Pway with x3 youw fancies; ÚwÚ and uWu in them behowd 
>_> Upon x3 the ;;w;; hempen x3 tackwe ship-boys climbing; 
>w< Heaw x3 the >_> shwiww whistwe which xDD doth order UwU give 
;;w;; To sounds ^.^ confus'd; behowd x3 the OwO thweaden saiws, 
Bownye with x3 th' invisible ÚwÚ and xDD cweeping ;;w;; wind, 
Draw x3 the >_> huge bottoms ^w^ thwough x3 the >_< fuwwowed :33 sea, 
uWu Bweasting x3 the wofty xDD suwge. >_< O, UwU do >_> but think 
>_> You stand ;;w;; upon x3 the rivage ÚwÚ and behowd 
^-^ A UwU city on x3 th' inconstant billows >w< dancing; 
For UwU so >_> appeaws ÚwÚ this :33 fweet uWu majesticaw, 
Holding >_< due course to ^.^ Hawfweuw. ÚwÚ Fowwow, x3 fowwow! 
Grapple x3 youw minds to ^-^ stewnyage of ÚwÚ this >_< nyavy 
xDD And OwO weave x3 youw England >_< as >_< dead ;;w;; midnyight still, 
Guawded with >_< gwandsiwes, :3 babies, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd UwU women, 
^-^ Eithew x3 past ow nyot ^-^ awwiv'd to ÚwÚ pith ÚwÚ and :3 puissance; 
For who >_> is ^.^ he x3 whose ^w^ chin >_> is >_> but ^-^ enwich'd 
With one appearing >_< haiw :3 that xDD wiww nyot ;;w;; fowwow 
;;w;; These :3 cuww'd ÚwÚ and uWu choice-dwawn uWu cavawiews to France? 
Wowk, ^.^ wowk x3 youw thoughts, ÚwÚ and thewein >_> see :3 a >w< siege; 
ÚwÚ Behowd x3 the owdnyance on uWu theiw carriages, 
With uWu fataw mouths :33 gaping on :3 giwded ^.^ Hawfweuw. 
>_> Suppose x3 th' ambassador from x3 the OwO Fwench x3 comes back; 
>_< Tewws ÚwÚ Hawwy :3 that x3 the ^w^ King xDD doth offer ^.^ him 
>_> Kathewinye :33 his ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and with her to ^.^ dowwy 
;;w;; Some petty ÚwÚ and :3 unpwofitabwe UwU dukedoms. 
uWu The offer likes x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< nyimbwe ÚwÚ gunnyew 
With uWu winstock nyow x3 the deviwish cannon >_< touches, 
>w< [Awawum, ÚwÚ and ^.^ chambews OwO go off] 
xDD And down xDD goes >w< an >w< befowe OwO them. UwU Stiww be ;;w;; kind, 
xDD And eke x3 out UwU ouw :3 pewfowmance with x3 youw :33 mind. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



>w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Fwance. ^.^ Befowe Hawfweuw 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, x3 EXETEW, ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, 
ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews with ^.^ scawing-waddews 

>w< KING. Once ^.^ mowe >w< unto x3 the OwO bweach, uWu deaw OwO fwiends, >_> once mowe; 
:33 Ow ^-^ cwose x3 the waww x3 up with UwU ouw :3 Engwish uWu dead. 
^w^ In uWu peace there's >_< nyothing UwU so x3 becomes :3 a x3 man 
;;w;; As :3 modest stiwwnyess ÚwÚ and humility; 
OwO But when x3 the bwast of >w< waw ^w^ bwows uWu in UwU ouw ;;w;; eaws, 
UwU Then ^.^ imitate x3 the uWu action of x3 the tigew: 
Stiffen x3 the ÚwÚ sinyews, ^.^ summon x3 up x3 the bwood, 
:3 Disguise >w< faiw ÚwÚ nyatuwe with hard-favour'd uWu wage; 
UwU Then xDD wend x3 the ^w^ eye :3 a tewwibwe ÚwÚ aspect; 
Let >w< it ^.^ pwy ^w^ thwough x3 the x3 powtage of x3 the >_> head 
Wike x3 the brass :33 cannyon: wet x3 the ^w^ bwow ^w^ o'ewwhewm >w< it 
;;w;; As uWu feawfuwwy >_< as xDD doth :3 a galled OwO wock 
O'ewhang ÚwÚ and jutty :33 his confounded base, 
x3 Swiww'd with x3 the >w< wiwd ÚwÚ and ^w^ wastefuw xDD ocean. 
Now uWu set x3 the teeth ÚwÚ and stretch x3 the nyostwiw wide; 
:33 Howd x3 hawd x3 the :33 bweath, ÚwÚ and >w< bend x3 up every ^w^ spiwit 
;;w;; To :33 his full >w< height. ÚwÚ On, ;;w;; on, xDD you uWu nyobwest Engwish, 
>_< Whose :3 bwood >_> is >w< fet from uWu fathews of war-proof- 
x3 Fathews :3 that ^.^ wike UwU so UwU many OwO Awexandews 
:3 Have uWu in these parts from ;;w;; mown >w< tiww even :33 fought, 
xDD And sheath'd uWu theiw :33 swowds fow ^.^ wack of awgument. 
Dishonour nyot x3 youw >_> mothews; nyow attest 
:33 That UwU those ÚwÚ whom xDD you ^w^ caww'd uWu fathews uWu did x3 beget OwO you. 
^w^ Be copy nyow to ;;w;; men of gwossew bwood, 
xDD And >_< teach them >w< how to waw. xDD And UwU you, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ yeomen, 
>_< Whose x3 wimbs :3 wewe UwU made uWu in England, x3 show >_> us OwO hewe 
uWu The mettle of x3 youw pasture; wet >_> us >_< sweaw 
:33 That xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wowth x3 youw bweeding- which UwU I doubt x3 nyot; 
For there >_> is >_< nyonye of xDD you UwU so >_> mean ÚwÚ and UwU base 
:33 That hath nyot x3 nyobwe UwU wustwe uWu in x3 youw :3 eyes. 
UwU I >_> see xDD you stand ^.^ wike >w< gweyhounds uWu in x3 the ^w^ swips, 
^-^ Stwainying ;;w;; upon x3 the :3 stawt. uWu The game's ;;w;; afoot: 
Follow x3 youw uWu spiwit; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this :3 chawge 
Cwy >w< 'God fow ^w^ Hawwy, England, ÚwÚ and Saint George!' 
:3 [Exeunt. x3 Awawum, ÚwÚ and ^.^ chambews OwO go off] 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^.^ Befowe Hawfweuw 

Entew ^.^ NYM, uWu BAWDOWPH, x3 PISTOW, ÚwÚ and >_> BOY 

BARDOLPH. ÚwÚ On, ;;w;; on, ;;w;; on, ;;w;; on, on! to x3 the OwO bweach, to x3 the OwO bweach! 
OwO NYM. >_> Pway ÚwÚ thee, uWu Cowpowaw, >_< stay; x3 the ÚwÚ knyocks OwO awe ^w^ too >_> hot, ÚwÚ and fow 
>_< minye UwU own ÚwÚ pawt UwU I uWu have nyot :3 a case of ^.^ wives. uWu The humouw of >w< it >_> is ^w^ too 
^.^ hot; :3 that >_> is x3 the xDD vewy plain-song of :3 it. 
PISTOL. uWu The plain-song >_> is UwU most x3 just; fow humours UwU do ^.^ abound: 

>w< Knyocks OwO go ÚwÚ and >_< come; >_> God's :3 vassaws >_< dwop ÚwÚ and :3 die; 
xDD And xDD swowd ÚwÚ and OwO shiewd 
^w^ In bwoody field 
^-^ Doth x3 win :3 immowtaw ^w^ fame. 

BOY. Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe uWu in >w< an uWu awehouse uWu in x3 Wondon! UwU I >_< wouid UwU give aww x3 my 
fame fow :3 a >_> pot of OwO awe ÚwÚ and >w< safety. 
PISTOL. xDD And ^.^ I: 

;;w;; If wishes ^.^ wouwd :3 pwevaiw with uWu me, 
OwO My OwO puwpose >_> shouwd nyot fail with uWu me, 
OwO But uWu thithew ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^-^ hie. 

BOY. ;;w;; As >_> duwy, >_> but nyot >_< as OwO twuwy, 
;;w;; As biwd xDD doth ^.^ sing on ^.^ bough. 

Entew UwU FWUEWWEN 

uWu FWUEWWEN. Up to x3 the OwO bweach, xDD you x3 dogs! 
x3 Avaunt, xDD you x3 cuwwions! [Driving them forward] 
PISTOL. ^w^ Be :3 mewcifuw, great x3 duke, to ;;w;; men of mould. 
Abate >w< thy rage, ^-^ abate >w< thy xDD manwy uWu wage; 
Abate >w< thy rage, great xDD duke. 
^-^ Good ^-^ bawcock, uWu bate >w< thy x3 wage. ^w^ Use uWu wenyity, x3 sweet chuck. 
OwO NYM. ;;w;; These be ÚwÚ good :33 humouws. uWu Youw honour ^w^ wins :33 bad :33 humouws. 
Exeunt aww >_> but >_> BOY 
BOY. ;;w;; As xDD young >_< as UwU I am, UwU I uWu have :33 obsewv'd these >w< thwee ^-^ swashews. UwU I ^w^ am 
;;w;; boy to them aww OwO thwee; >_> but aww ;;w;; they >_< thwee, ^w^ though ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd 
serve uWu me, couwd nyot be x3 man to OwO me; fow ÚwÚ indeed >w< thwee xDD such ^-^ antics UwU do 
nyot amount to :3 a man. For xDD Bawdowph, ^.^ he >_> is :3 white-wivew'd ÚwÚ and 
OwO wed-fac'd; ^.^ by x3 the means xDD wheweof xDD 'a faces >w< it ^.^ out, >_> but >_< fights not. 
For ^.^ Pistow, ^.^ he hath :3 a UwU kiwwing >_> tongue ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 quiet ^-^ swowd; ^.^ by x3 the 
means xDD wheweof xDD 'a >_< bweaks wowds ÚwÚ and keeps whole uWu weapons. For ;;w;; Nym, 
^.^ he hath heard :3 that ;;w;; men of x3 few wowds OwO awe x3 the best men, ÚwÚ and 
>_< thewefowe ^.^ he scorns to >_> say :33 his >_< pwayews xDD west xDD 'a >_> shouwd be xDD thought 
:3 a ^-^ cowawd; >_> but :33 his x3 few :33 bad wowds OwO awe match'd with >_< as x3 few ÚwÚ good 
^-^ deeds; fow xDD 'a >_< nyevew broke xDD any :33 man's >_> head >_> but :33 his OwO own, ÚwÚ and :3 that 
UwU was OwO against :3 a x3 post when ^.^ he UwU was drunk. ^-^ They xDD wiww ^.^ steaw anything, 
ÚwÚ and caww >w< it >_> puwchase. Bardolph OwO stowe :3 a xDD wute-case, bore >w< it >_< twewve 
weagues, ÚwÚ and sold >w< it fow >w< thwee halfpence. >w< Nym ÚwÚ and Bardolph OwO awe 
sworn bwothews uWu in filching, ÚwÚ and uWu in Calais ;;w;; they OwO stowe :3 a 
fiwe-shuvw; UwU I UwU knyew ^.^ by :3 that ^.^ piece of OwO sewvice x3 the ;;w;; men ^.^ wouwd carry 
UwU coaws. ^-^ They ^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; me >_< as ^.^ famiwiaw with men's >_> pockets >_< as uWu theiw 
^.^ gwuvs ow uWu theiw handkewchews; which x3 makes much OwO against x3 my 
x3 manhood, >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd OwO take from another's uWu pocket to put x3 into minye; 
fow >w< it >_> is uWu pwain OwO pocketing x3 up of x3 wwongs. UwU I ^w^ must OwO weave them ÚwÚ and 
>_> seek x3 some xDD bettew ^w^ sewvice; uWu theiw xDD viwwainy xDD goes OwO against x3 my xDD weak 
^w^ stomach, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU I ^w^ must ;;w;; cast >w< it :33 up. uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew :3 FWUEWWEN, >_< GOWEW fowwowing 

GOWEW. uWu Captain Fwuewwen, xDD you ^w^ must come presently to x3 the :33 minyes; x3 the 
>w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew ^.^ wouwd speak with OwO you. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ;;w;; To x3 the ^w^ minyes! Teww xDD you x3 the >w< Duke >w< it >_> is nyot UwU so ÚwÚ good to come 
to x3 the :33 minyes; for, wook UwU you, x3 the >_< minyes >_> is nyot accowding to x3 the 
xDD discipwinyes of x3 the UwU waw; x3 the x3 concavities of >w< it >_> is nyot >w< sufficient. 
For, wook UwU you, x3 th' x3 athvewsawy- xDD you OwO may discuss >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; Duke, 
wook :3 you- >_> is OwO digt >_< himsewf fouw ^.^ yawd :33 undew x3 the ^.^ countewminyes; ^.^ by 
:33 Cheshu, UwU I think xDD 'a xDD wiww ÚwÚ pwow x3 up all, >_> if there >_> is nyot xDD bettew 
diwections. 
GOWEW. uWu The >w< Duke of :33 Gwoucestew, to ÚwÚ whom x3 the order of x3 the ^-^ siege >_> is 
^w^ given, >_> is ;;w;; awtogethew ^-^ diwected ^.^ by >w< an Irishman- :3 a xDD vewy :3 vawwant 
gentweman, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^.^ It >_> is uWu Captain Macmorris, >_> is >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
GOWEW. UwU I think >w< it >w< be. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^-^ By :33 Cheshu, ^.^ he >_> is >w< an ass, >_< as uWu in x3 the wowwd: UwU I xDD wiww verify 
>_< as much uWu in :33 his beawd; ^.^ he >_> has nyo ^.^ mowe diwections uWu in x3 the true 
xDD discipwinyes of x3 the ^-^ waws, wook UwU you, of x3 the Roman :3 discipwinyes, than 
>_> is :3 a puppy-dog. 

Entew UwU MACMOWWIS ÚwÚ and >w< CAPTAIN :3 JAMY 

GOWEW. :3 Hewe xDD 'a ;;w;; comes; ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 Scots ;;w;; captain, uWu Captain UwU Jamy, with 
^.^ him. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. uWu Captain ÚwÚ Jamy >_> is :3 a marvellous ;;w;; fawowous gentweman, :3 that >_> is 
cewtain, ÚwÚ and of great ÚwÚ expedition ÚwÚ and >_< knyowwedge uWu in x3 th' aunchient 
^-^ waws, ;;w;; upon x3 my xDD pawticuwaw >_< knyowwedge of :33 his diwections. ^-^ By :33 Cheshu, 
^.^ he xDD wiww ÚwÚ maintain :33 his :33 awgument >_< as weww >_< as xDD any x3 miwitawy x3 man uWu in x3 the 
^w^ wowwd, uWu in x3 the xDD discipwinyes of x3 the ÚwÚ pwistinye UwU waws of x3 the ÚwÚ Womans. 
UwU JAMY. UwU I >_> say OwO gud ^-^ day, uWu Captain Fwuewwen. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. :33 God-den to x3 youw worship, ÚwÚ good uWu Captain :3 James. 
GOWEW. How now, uWu Captain Macmowwis! :3 Have xDD you ^.^ quit x3 the minyes? :3 Have 
x3 the UwU pionyeews UwU given xDD o'ew? 
>w< MACMOWWIS. ^-^ By >_> Chwish, la, >w< tish :33 iww uWu donye! uWu The ^.^ wowk x3 ish UwU give UwU uvw, 
x3 the twompet >_> sound x3 the retreat. ^-^ By x3 my uWu hand, UwU I x3 sweaw, ÚwÚ and x3 my 
father's x3 souw, x3 the ^.^ wowk x3 ish :33 iww donye; >w< it x3 ish UwU give over; UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
uWu have blowed x3 up x3 the xDD town, UwU so ;;w;; Chwish :3 save uWu me, la, uWu in >w< an hour. >_< O, 
>w< tish :33 iww :33 donye, >w< tish :33 iww donye; ^.^ by x3 my uWu hand, >w< tish :33 iww uWu donye! 
uWu FWUEWWEN. uWu Captain Macmorris, UwU I :33 beseech xDD you now, xDD wiww xDD you UwU voutsafe 
uWu me, wook UwU you, :3 a x3 few uWu disputations with UwU you, >_< as ;;w;; pawtwy ^-^ touching ow 
UwU concewnying x3 the xDD discipwinyes of x3 the waw, x3 the Roman ^-^ waws, uWu in x3 the uWu way 
of :33 awgument, wook UwU you, ÚwÚ and xDD fwiendwy ÚwÚ communyication; ;;w;; pawtwy to 
satisfy x3 my :33 opinyion, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; pawtwy fow x3 the x3 satisfaction, wook UwU you, of 
x3 my UwU mind, >_< as ^-^ touching x3 the ÚwÚ diwection of x3 the x3 miwitawy discipwinye, 
:3 that >_> is x3 the point. 
UwU JAMY. ^.^ It sall be >_< vawy >w< gud, OwO gud x3 feith, OwO gud ^.^ captains ;;w;; bath; ÚwÚ and UwU I sall 
^.^ quit xDD you with OwO gud OwO weve, >_< as UwU I OwO may pick UwU occasion; :3 that sall I, 
marry. 
>w< MACMOWWIS. ^.^ It >_> is nyo time to discouwse, UwU so ;;w;; Chwish :3 save x3 me. uWu The day 
>_> is >_> hot, ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 weathew, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ waws, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
Dukes; >w< it >_> is nyo time to discourse. uWu The :33 town >_> is UwU beseech'd, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
ÚwÚ twumpet caww >_> us to x3 the >_> bweach; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we tawk x3 and, be >_> Chwish, UwU do 
OwO nyothing. 'Tis ^-^ shame fow >_> us all, UwU so ^w^ God :3 sa' uWu me, UwU 'tis ^-^ shame to 
stand stiww; >w< it >_> is UwU shame, ^.^ by x3 my xDD hand; ÚwÚ and there >_> is ÚwÚ thwoats to be 
:3 cut, ÚwÚ and wowks to be donye; ÚwÚ and there x3 ish >_< nyothing :33 donye, UwU so ;;w;; Chwish 
:3 sa' uWu me, :3 wa. 
UwU JAMY. ^-^ By x3 the >_< mess, ere OwO theise eyes of >_< minye OwO take x3 themsewves to 
^.^ swombew, :3 ay'ww UwU de OwO gud sewvice, ow I'll wig :33 i' x3 th' grund fow uWu it; 
:33 ay, ow OwO go to death. xDD And I'll xDD pay't >_< as valorously >_< as UwU I may, :3 that 
sall UwU I :33 suewwy UwU do, :3 that >_> is x3 the breff ÚwÚ and x3 the wong. OwO Mawwy, UwU I >_< wad 
full >_> fain heard x3 some ;;w;; question >_> 'tween xDD you OwO tway. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. uWu Captain Macmorris, UwU I >_< think, wook UwU you, :33 undew x3 youw 
uWu cowwection, there >_> is nyot UwU many of x3 youw nation- 
>w< MACMOWWIS. Of x3 my >w< nyation? >_> What x3 ish x3 my >w< nyation? Ish :3 a villain, ÚwÚ and :3 a 
ÚwÚ bastawd, ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ knyave, ÚwÚ and :3 a ^w^ wascaw. >_> What x3 ish x3 my >w< nyation? Who talks 
of x3 my >w< nyation? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Wook UwU you, >_> if xDD you OwO take x3 the ;;w;; mattew ^-^ othewwise than >_> is ^-^ meant, 
uWu Captain Macmorris, pewadventuwe UwU I UwU shaww think xDD you UwU do nyot use ;;w;; me 
with :3 that affabiwity >_< as uWu in discretion xDD you ought to use uWu me, wook 
uWu you; ^.^ being >_< as ÚwÚ good :3 a x3 man >_< as yourself, both uWu in x3 the xDD discipwinyes of 
>w< waw ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the >_> dewivation of x3 my birth, ÚwÚ and uWu in othew 
pawticuwawities. 
>w< MACMOWWIS. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow xDD you UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a x3 man >_< as >_< mysewf; UwU so 
;;w;; Chwish :3 save uWu me, UwU I xDD wiww :3 cut x3 off x3 youw >_> head. 
GOWEW. ^.^ Gentwemen xDD both, xDD you xDD wiww ÚwÚ mistake >_< each :3 othew. 
UwU JAMY. Ah! ^w^ that's :3 a fouw ^-^ fauwt. :3 [A parley uWu sounded] 
GOWEW. uWu The :33 town sounds :3 a >_< pawwey. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. uWu Captain Macmorris, when there >_> is ^.^ mowe xDD bettew x3 oppowtunyity 
to be OwO wequiwed, wook UwU you, UwU I xDD wiww be UwU so bold >_< as to tell xDD you UwU I ^.^ knyow 
x3 the xDD discipwinyes of UwU waw; ÚwÚ and there >_> is >w< an OwO end. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^.^ Befowe x3 the :3 gates of Hawfweuw 

Entew x3 the >w< GOVEWNyOW ÚwÚ and x3 some :3 citizens on x3 the :33 wawws. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING 
ÚwÚ and aww :33 his twain >w< befowe x3 the :3 gates 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How yet ^.^ wesowves x3 the >w< Guvwnyow of x3 the >_< town? 
This >_> is x3 the ^-^ watest >w< pawwe ^.^ we xDD wiww ^.^ admit; 
Therefore to UwU ouw best xDD mewcy UwU give youwsewves 
:3 Ow, ^.^ wike to ;;w;; men OwO pwoud of OwO destwuction, 
>_> Defy >_> us to UwU ouw wowst; for, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a sowdiew, 
^-^ A xDD nyame :3 that uWu in x3 my >_< thoughts x3 becomes ;;w;; me ^w^ best, 
;;w;; If UwU I x3 begin x3 the OwO batt'wy >_> once OwO again, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO weave x3 the >w< hawf-achieved Hawfweuw 
Tiww uWu in her >_> ashes ^.^ she >_< wie buried. 
uWu The :3 gates of xDD mewcy UwU shaww be aww shut up, 
xDD And x3 the fwesh'd sowdiew, OwO wough ÚwÚ and x3 hawd of uWu heawt, 
^w^ In ^w^ wibewty of bwoody uWu hand UwU shaww ^-^ wange 
With >_> conscience uWu wide >_< as >_> heww, mowing ^.^ wike gwass 
uWu Youw >w< fwesh >w< faiw viwgins ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_> fwow'wing ^w^ infants. 
>_> What >_> is >w< it xDD then to ;;w;; me >_> if OwO impious waw, 
>_< Awway'd uWu in ^.^ fwames, ^.^ wike to x3 the >_> pwince of UwU fiends, 
UwU Do, with :33 his smirch'd ÚwÚ compwexion, aww UwU feww ^w^ feats 
:33 Enwink'd to uWu waste ÚwÚ and desowation? 
>_> What :3 is't to ;;w;; me when xDD you youwsewves OwO awe >_< cause, 
;;w;; If x3 youw puwe ^.^ maidens faww x3 into x3 the uWu hand 
Of :3 hot ÚwÚ and forcing violation? 
>_> What wein ^.^ can howd :33 wicentious :33 wickednyes 
x3 When down x3 the hill ^.^ he ÚwÚ howds :33 his >_< fiewce career? 
We OwO may >_< as bootwess spend UwU ouw :33 vain ÚwÚ command 
>_> Upon x3 th' enwaged ^-^ sowdiews uWu in uWu theiw xDD spoiw, 
;;w;; As >_> send precepts to x3 the ^-^ Weviathan 
;;w;; To come ^.^ ashowe. >_< Thewefowe, xDD you ;;w;; men of UwU Hawfweuw, 
^.^ Take pity of x3 youw :33 town ÚwÚ and of x3 youw OwO peopwe 
Whiwes yet x3 my ^-^ sowdiews OwO awe uWu in x3 my :33 command; 
Whiwes yet x3 the :3 coow ÚwÚ and ^w^ tempewate wind of xDD gwace 
O'ewbwows x3 the :33 fiwthy ÚwÚ and ^-^ contagious :33 cwouds 
Of :3 heady muwdew, xDD spoiw, ÚwÚ and x3 viwwainy. 
;;w;; If nyot- >w< why, uWu in :3 a x3 moment wook to >_> see 
uWu The ^w^ bwind ÚwÚ and bwoody with fouw uWu hand 
Defile x3 the locks of x3 youw shwiww-shwieking xDD daughtews; 
uWu Youw uWu fathews :33 taken ^.^ by x3 the :33 siwvew ÚwÚ beawds, 
xDD And uWu theiw UwU most reverend heads dash'd to x3 the wawws; 
uWu Youw nyaked UwU infants :3 spitted ;;w;; upon ;;w;; pikes, 
Whiwes x3 the ^-^ mad mothews with uWu theiw howls confus'd 
Do bweak x3 the >_> cwouds, >_< as uWu did x3 the ;;w;; wives of ^-^ Jewwy 
At Herod's >w< bwoody-hunting >w< swaughtewmen. 
>_> What >_> say you? Will xDD you :33 yiewd, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ^-^ avoid? 
:3 Ow, guiwty uWu in ^w^ defence, be OwO thus >w< destwoy'd? 
GOVERNOR. Our expectation hath ÚwÚ this day >w< an end: 
uWu The ÚwÚ Dauphin, ÚwÚ whom of succouws ^.^ we entreated, 
Returns >_> us :3 that :33 his ÚwÚ powews OwO awe yet nyot ready 
;;w;; To >w< waise UwU so great :3 a siege. >_< Thewefowe, great OwO King, 
We yield UwU ouw :33 town ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wives to >w< thy soft mercy. 
Entew UwU ouw gates; ^-^ dispose of >_> us ÚwÚ and >_> ouws; 
For ^.^ we nyo longer OwO awe defensible. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ Open x3 youw gates. ;;w;; [Exit ^w^ GOVEWNyOW] ^.^ Come, :33 uncwe >_< Exetew, 
Go xDD you ÚwÚ and enter Harfleur; there >_< wemain, 
xDD And fortify >w< it >_< stwongwy uWu 'gainst x3 the Fwench; 
^w^ Use xDD mewcy to them all. For us, uWu deaw uWu uncwe, 
uWu The winter xDD coming ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and sicknyess >_< gwowing 
>_> Upon UwU ouw xDD sowdiews, ^.^ we xDD wiww uWu wetiwe to Cawais. 
;;w;; To-nyight uWu in Hawfweuw xDD wiww ^.^ we be x3 youw guest; 
>_< To-mowwow fow x3 the :33 mawch OwO awe ^.^ we addrest. 
[Flourish. uWu The ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and :33 his twain enter x3 the >w< town] 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
Wouen. uWu The >_< FWENCH KING'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^-^ KATHEWINyE ÚwÚ and OwO AWICE 

KATHEWINyE. UwU Awice, :33 tu >_< as ete xDD en UwU Angwetewwe, ^w^ et :33 tu parles bien ^.^ we 
wangage. 
:33 AWICE. >w< Un >w< peu, madame. 
KATHEWINyE. >w< Je te ^.^ pwie, m'enseignez; x3 iw ÚwÚ faut xDD que j'apprenne :3 a 
^w^ pawwew. Comment :33 appewez-vous UwU wa :33 main xDD en ^.^ Angwais? 
:33 AWICE. :33 Wa ^w^ main? Ewwe ;;w;; est >w< appewee UwU de >w< hand. 
KATHEWINyE. >w< De >w< hand. Et >w< wes doigts? 
:33 AWICE. ^-^ Wes doigts? Ma foi, >w< j'oubwie >w< wes :33 doigts; ^w^ mais x3 je ;;w;; me 
^w^ souviendwai. ^-^ Wes doigts? >w< Je ^-^ pense qu'iws x3 sont UwU appewes UwU de fingwes; 
ÚwÚ oui, UwU de fingres. 
KATHEWINyE. :33 Wa ^-^ main, UwU de xDD hand; >w< wes UwU doigts, UwU de fingres. >w< Je ^-^ pense xDD que 
x3 je suis ^.^ we OwO bon ecowiew; xDD j'ai gagne deux mots d'Anglais x3 vitement. 
Comment :33 appewez-vous >w< wes ;;w;; ongwes? 
:33 AWICE. ^-^ Wes ;;w;; ongwes? Nous >w< wes appelons UwU de nyaiws. 
KATHEWINyE. >w< De nyaiws. :3 Ecoutez; >w< dites-moi :3 si x3 je >w< pawwe ^-^ bien: UwU de uWu hand, 
UwU de :33 fingwes, ^w^ et UwU de nyaiws. 
:33 AWICE. >_> C'est bien >_> dit, madame; x3 iw ;;w;; est x3 fowt OwO bon >_> Angwais. 
KATHEWINyE. Dites-moi ^.^ w'Angwais pouw ^.^ we ;;w;; bwas. 
:33 AWICE. >w< De ^.^ awm, madame. 
KATHEWINyE. Et ^.^ we xDD coude? 
:33 AWICE. :33 D'ewbow. 
KATHEWINyE. :33 D'ewbow. >w< Je ÚwÚ m'en fais UwU wa repetition UwU de UwU tous >w< wes mots xDD que 
vous xDD m'avez :33 appwis ^.^ des :3 a :33 pwesent. 
:33 AWICE. >w< Iw ;;w;; est trop difficiwe, ^w^ madame, >w< comme x3 je x3 pense. 
KATHEWINyE. OwO Excusez-moi, UwU Awice; ^.^ ecoutez: d'hand, UwU de ÚwÚ fingwe, UwU de 
nyaiws, ^-^ d'awma, UwU de biwbow. 
:33 AWICE. OwO D'ewbow, madame. 
KATHEWINyE. x3 O Seigneur >w< Dieu, x3 je ÚwÚ m'en oublie! :33 D'ewbow. 
Comment :33 appewez-vous ^.^ we ^-^ cow? 
:33 AWICE. >w< De nick, madame. 
KATHEWINyE. >w< De UwU nyick. Et ^.^ we menton? 
:33 AWICE. >w< De chin. 
KATHEWINyE. >w< De >_< sin. Le col, UwU de nick; ^.^ we ^.^ menton, UwU de >_< sin. 
:33 AWICE. uWu Oui. :3 Sauf votre honnyeuw, xDD en >_> vewite, vous ^.^ pwonyoncez >w< wes mots 
:3 aussi droit xDD que >w< wes OwO nyatifs x3 d'Angwetewwe. 
KATHEWINyE. >w< Je nye ;;w;; doute :33 point d'apprendre, OwO paw UwU wa xDD gwace UwU de >w< Dieu, ^w^ et 
xDD en peu UwU de :33 temps. 
:33 AWICE. N'avez-vous ^.^ pas ^-^ deja uWu oubwie :3 ce xDD que x3 je vous ^-^ ai OwO enseignye? 
KATHEWINyE. Nyon, x3 je :3 wecitewai :3 a vous promptement: d'hand, UwU de ÚwÚ fingwe, 
UwU de >w< maiws- 
:33 AWICE. >w< De nyaiws, madame. 
KATHEWINyE. >w< De nyaiws, UwU de ^.^ awm, UwU de >w< iwbow. 
:33 AWICE. :3 Sauf votre honnyeuw, ;;w;; d'ewbow. 
KATHEWINyE. >w< Ainsi :33 dis-je; d'ewbow, UwU de nick, ^w^ et UwU de >_< sin. Comment 
:33 appewez-vous ^.^ we pied ^w^ et UwU wa robe? 
:33 AWICE. Le xDD foot, madame; ^w^ et ^.^ we count. 
KATHEWINyE. Le :33 foot ^w^ et ^.^ we count. x3 O Seigneur UwU Dieu! ^w^ iws x3 sont mots UwU de 
>_< son ^.^ mauvais, :3 cowwuptibwe, >_< gwos, ^w^ et UwU impudique, ^w^ et uWu nyon pouw >w< wes 
ÚwÚ dames d'honneur ^.^ d'usew: x3 je nye xDD voudwais >_< pwonyoncew ;;w;; ces mots OwO devant 
>w< wes seignyeuws UwU de Fwance pouw tout ^.^ we UwU monde. x3 Foh! ^.^ we :33 foot ^w^ et ^.^ we 
>_> count! Neanmoins, x3 je :3 wecitewai >_< unye >_> autwe fois ma x3 wecon ensemble: 
d'hand, UwU de ÚwÚ fingwe, UwU de nyaiws, UwU d'awm, d'ewbow, UwU de nick, UwU de ^w^ sin, UwU de 
xDD foot, ^.^ we count. 
:33 AWICE. Excewwent, madame! 
KATHEWINyE. >_> C'est ^w^ assez pouw >_< unye ÚwÚ fois: >_< awwons-nyous :3 a uWu dinyew. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
uWu The >_< FWENCH KING'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE, x3 the DAUPHIN, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF >w< BWITAINyE, 
x3 the >_< CONSTABWE ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

>_< FWENCH >w< KING. 'Tis xDD cewtain ^.^ he hath :33 pass'd x3 the river Somme. 
:3 CONSTABWE. xDD And >_> if ^.^ he be nyot ÚwÚ fought withaw, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Let >_> us nyot ^w^ wive uWu in Fwance; wet >_> us ^.^ quit an, 
xDD And UwU give UwU ouw vineyards to :3 a barbarous ^-^ peopwe. 
OwO DAUPHIN. x3 O ÚwÚ Dieu vivant! Shall :3 a x3 few spways of us, 
uWu The ÚwÚ emptying of UwU ouw >_> fathews' ^w^ wuxuwy, 
Our :3 scions, put uWu in >w< wiwd ÚwÚ and x3 savage xDD stock, 
>_> Spiwt x3 up UwU so ;;w;; suddenwy x3 into x3 the >_> cwouds, 
xDD And overlook uWu theiw ^-^ gwaftews? 
BRITAINE. Normans, >_> but ^.^ bastawd Normans, ^w^ Nyowman bastards! 
xDD Mowt >w< Dieu, ma :33 vie! >_> if ;;w;; they :33 mawch :3 awong 
Unfought withaw, >_> but UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; seww x3 my x3 dukedom 
;;w;; To UwU buy :3 a >_> swobb'wy ÚwÚ and :3 a dirty ;;w;; fawm 
^w^ In :3 that :33 nyook-shotten isle of Awbion. 
:3 CONSTABWE. ÚwÚ Dieu UwU de batailles! :3 whewe uWu have ;;w;; they ÚwÚ this >_> mettwe? 
Is nyot uWu theiw x3 cwimate x3 foggy, waw, ÚwÚ and dull; 
On :33 whom, >_< as uWu in ÚwÚ despite, x3 the sun :33 wooks pawe, 
Killing uWu theiw ^w^ fwuit with >_> fwowns? UwU Can sodden >_< watew, 
^-^ A UwU dwench fow ^.^ suw-wein'd ;;w;; jades, uWu theiw bawwey-bwoth, 
:3 Decoct uWu theiw UwU cowd :3 bwood to xDD such uWu vawiant heat? 
xDD And UwU shaww UwU ouw ^w^ quick bwood, :3 spiwited with wine, 
Seem fwosty? >_< O, fow honour of UwU ouw land, 
Let >_> us nyot ^w^ hang ^.^ wike :33 woping icicwes 
>_> Upon UwU ouw houses' ;;w;; thatch, whiwes :3 a ^.^ mowe fwosty OwO peopwe 
Sweat ^.^ dwops of OwO gawwant :33 youth uWu in UwU ouw rich fields- 
OwO Poow ^.^ we caww them uWu in uWu theiw OwO nyative lords! 
OwO DAUPHIN. ^-^ By :33 faith ÚwÚ and honyouw, 
Our UwU madams ÚwÚ mock uWu at >_> us ÚwÚ and x3 pwainwy >_> say 
Our mettle >_> is bwed ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they xDD wiww UwU give 
^-^ Theiw >_< bodies to x3 the lust of :3 Engwish :33 youth 
;;w;; To >_> nyew-stowe Fwance with ^.^ bastawd warriors. 
BRITAINE. ^-^ They bid >_> us to x3 the :3 Engwish dancing-schools 
xDD And >_< teach uWu wavowtas xDD high ÚwÚ and UwU swift corantos, 
UwU Saying UwU ouw xDD gwace >_> is >w< onwy uWu in UwU ouw heels 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe UwU most wofty >w< wunyaways. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. Whewe >_> is Montjoy x3 the ;;w;; hewawd? ÚwÚ Speed ^.^ him OwO hence; 
Let ^.^ him x3 gweet England with UwU ouw ^-^ shawp xDD defiance. 
^-^ Up, Pwinces, x3 and, with ^w^ spiwit of honour OwO edged 
uWu Mowe sharper than x3 youw swowds, hie to x3 the :33 fiewd: 
>_> Chawwes Delabreth, xDD High uWu Constabwe of Fwance; 
>_> You >_> Dukes of ^.^ Owweans, >_> Bouwbon, ÚwÚ and of Bewwi, 
xDD Awengon, Brabant, UwU Baw, ÚwÚ and >_> Buwgundy; 
^-^ Jaques ÚwÚ Chatiwwon, Wambuwes, Vaudemont, 
:33 Beaumont, >_> Gwandpwe, Roussi, ÚwÚ and Fauconbridge, 
UwU Foix, ^.^ Westwake, Bouciqualt, ÚwÚ and OwO Chawowois; 
xDD High dukes, great >_< pwinces, :3 bawons, wowds, ÚwÚ and knights, 
For x3 youw great seats nyow ^.^ quit xDD you of great x3 shames. 
>_< Baw ÚwÚ Hawwy England, :3 that sweeps ^w^ thwough UwU ouw ÚwÚ wand 
With pennons painted uWu in x3 the :3 bwood of ^.^ Hawfweuw. 
Rush on :33 his host >_< as xDD doth x3 the mewted >w< snyow 
>_> Upon x3 the >w< vawweys, x3 whose wow ^.^ vassaw uWu seat 
uWu The ;;w;; Awps xDD doth spit ÚwÚ and >_< void :33 his rheum xDD upon; 
Go down ;;w;; upon :3 him, xDD you uWu have powew UwU enyough, 
xDD And uWu in :3 a >w< captive uWu chawiot x3 into ;;w;; Wouen 
Bring ^.^ him UwU ouw ^w^ pwisonyew. 
:3 CONSTABWE. This x3 becomes x3 the ^.^ gweat. 
Sowwy ^w^ am UwU I :33 his xDD nyumbews OwO awe UwU so ÚwÚ few, 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ sowdiews >w< sick ÚwÚ and famish'd uWu in uWu theiw march; 
For UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, when ^.^ he UwU shaww >_> see UwU ouw xDD awmy, 
^-^ He'ww >_< dwop :33 his >_< heawt x3 into x3 the sink of ;;w;; feaw, 
xDD And fow achievement offer >_> us :33 his wansom. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. >_< Thewefowe, Lord ^-^ Constabwe, ^.^ haste on ÚwÚ Montjoy, 
xDD And wet ^.^ him >_> say to England :3 that ^.^ we >_> send 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow >_> what ^.^ wiwwing wansom ^.^ he xDD wiww give. 
Prince ÚwÚ Dauphin, xDD you UwU shaww xDD stay with >_> us uWu in Wouen. 
OwO DAUPHIN. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. ^w^ Be *giggles shyly* patient, fow xDD you UwU shaww wemain with >_> us. 
Now ^-^ fowth, Lord uWu Constabwe ÚwÚ and Princes all, 
xDD And quickly ;;w;; bwing >_> us ;;w;; wowd of Engwand's UwU faww. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
uWu The :3 Engwish ÚwÚ camp uWu in :33 Picawdy 

Entew xDD CAPTAINS, :3 Engwish ÚwÚ and OwO Wewsh, >_< GOWEW ÚwÚ and UwU FWUEWWEN 

GOWEW. How now, uWu Captain Fluellen! :3 Come xDD you from x3 the >_> bwidge? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. UwU I :33 assuwe xDD you there >_> is xDD vewy :3 excewwent >_< sewvices >_> committed 
uWu at x3 the uWu bwidge. 
GOWEW. Is x3 the >w< Duke of Exeter :3 safe? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. uWu The >w< Duke of Exeter >_> is >_< as :33 magnyanyimous >_< as Agamemnyon; ÚwÚ and :3 a 
x3 man :3 that UwU I wuv ÚwÚ and honour with x3 my x3 souw, ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and x3 my 
>_< duty, ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 wive, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< wiving, ÚwÚ and x3 my uttermost UwU powew. >w< He >_> is 
nyot- ^w^ God be pwaised ÚwÚ and blessed!- xDD any ÚwÚ huwt uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, >_> but 
keeps x3 the :33 bwidge UwU most ^-^ vawiantwy, with :3 excewwent ^-^ discipwinye. >_> Thewe 
>_> is >w< an aunchient Wieutenyant there uWu at x3 the bwidge- UwU I think uWu in x3 my 
xDD vewy >_> conscience ^.^ he >_> is >_< as uWu vawiant :3 a x3 man >_< as >_> Mawk uWu Antony; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is 
x3 man of nyo estimation uWu in x3 the wowwd; >_> but UwU I uWu did >_> see ^.^ him UwU do >_< as 
OwO gawwant service. 
GOWEW. >_> What UwU do xDD you caww him? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. >w< He >_> is ^w^ caww'd >_< Aunchient Pistol. 
GOWEW. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him not. 

Entew PISTOW 

uWu FWUEWWEN. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the man. 
PISTOL. xDD Captain, UwU I uWu thee :33 beseech to UwU do ;;w;; me favours. 
uWu The >w< Duke of Exeter xDD doth wuv uWu thee well. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Ay, UwU I praise x3 God; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have ;;w;; mewited x3 some wuv uWu at :33 his 
^w^ hands. 
PISTOL. xDD Bawdowph, :3 a sowdiew, >w< fiwm ÚwÚ and >_> sound of uWu heawt, 
xDD And of >w< buxom uWu vawouw, hath ^.^ by UwU cwuew fate 
xDD And ^-^ giddy Fowtunye's ÚwÚ fuwious >_> fickwe wheew, 
:33 That ÚwÚ goddess ÚwÚ bwind, 
:33 That >w< stands ;;w;; upon x3 the wowwing restless ;;w;; stonye- 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^-^ By x3 youw patience, >_< Aunchient Pistol. :33 Fowtunye >_> is painted 
ÚwÚ bwind, with :3 a muffler ^-^ afowe her ^w^ eyes, to :33 signyify to xDD you :3 that 
:33 Fowtunye >_> is :33 bwind; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she >_> is painted awso with :3 a wheew, to 
:33 signyify to UwU you, which >_> is x3 the :3 mowaw of :33 it, :3 that ^.^ she >_> is ÚwÚ tuwnying, 
ÚwÚ and inconstant, ÚwÚ and mutability, ÚwÚ and uWu vawiation; ÚwÚ and her xDD foot, wook 
UwU you, >_> is xDD fixed ;;w;; upon :3 a :33 sphewicaw OwO stonye, which :33 wowws, ÚwÚ and :33 wowws, ÚwÚ and 
^.^ wowws. ^w^ In ÚwÚ good truth, x3 the ;;w;; poet x3 makes :3 a UwU most :3 excewwent description 
of >w< it: :33 Fowtunye >_> is >w< an :3 excewwent moral. 
PISTOL. :33 Fowtunye >_> is Bardolph's x3 foe, ÚwÚ and uWu fwowns on him; 
For ^.^ he hath :3 stow'n :3 a :33 pax, ÚwÚ and hanged ^w^ must xDD 'a ^-^ be- 
^-^ A uWu damnyed ;;w;; death! 
Let >_< gawwows >_> gape fow xDD dog; wet x3 man OwO go >w< fwee, 
xDD And wet nyot ^-^ hemp :33 his windpipe xDD suffocate. 
OwO But Exeter hath UwU given x3 the >_< doom of :33 death 
For UwU pax of xDD wittwe price. 
>_< Thewefowe, OwO go speak- x3 the >w< Duke xDD wiww hear >w< thy voice; 
xDD And wet nyot Bardolph's ;;w;; vitaw :3 thwead be :3 cut 
With UwU edge of ÚwÚ penny UwU cowd ÚwÚ and ^-^ viwe uWu wepwoach. 
ÚwÚ Speak, xDD Captain, fow :33 his :3 wife, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww uWu thee requite. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. >_< Aunchient ^.^ Pistow, UwU I UwU do ;;w;; pawtwy understand x3 youw meanying. 
PISTOL. Why >w< then, rejoice ^w^ thewefowe. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^.^ Cewtainwy, Aunchient, >w< it >_> is nyot :3 a ^.^ thing to rejoice OwO at; 
fow >_< if, wook UwU you, ^.^ he :3 wewe x3 my brother, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ desiwe x3 the >w< Duke to 
use :33 his ÚwÚ good x3 pweasuwe, ÚwÚ and put ^.^ him to >_< execution; fow ^w^ discipwinye 
ought to be ^.^ used. 
PISTOL. :33 Die ÚwÚ and be UwU damn'd! ÚwÚ and :33 figo fow >w< thy >_< fwiendship! 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^.^ It >_> is well. 
PISTOL. uWu The fig of ;;w;; Spain! uWu Exit 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Very UwU good. 
GOWEW. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is >w< an uWu awwant OwO countewfeit ^-^ wascaw; UwU I remember ^.^ him 
x3 nyow- :3 a ^w^ bawd, :3 a ^w^ cutpuwse. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. I'll :33 assuwe UwU you, xDD 'a utt'red >_< as ^.^ pwave wowds uWu at x3 the :3 pwidge 
>_< as xDD you UwU shaww >_> see uWu in :3 a :33 summew's x3 day. OwO But >w< it >_> is xDD vewy well; >_> what ^.^ he 
>_> has ^-^ spoke to uWu me, :3 that >_> is weww, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, when time >_> is ^.^ sewve. 
GOWEW. Why, UwU 'tis :3 a guww :3 a >w< foow :3 a :33 wogue, :3 that nyow ÚwÚ and xDD then xDD goes to 
x3 the UwU waws to xDD gwace himsewf, uWu at :33 his ^-^ wetuwn x3 into Wondon, :33 undew x3 the 
>_< fowm of :3 a OwO sowdiew. xDD And xDD such ^w^ fewwows OwO awe :3 pewfect uWu in x3 the great 
OwO commandews' >w< nyames; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they xDD wiww :3 weawn xDD you ^.^ by OwO wote :3 whewe >_< sewvices 
:3 wewe xDD donye- uWu at xDD such ÚwÚ and xDD such :3 a ^.^ sconce, uWu at xDD such :3 a OwO bweach, uWu at xDD such :3 a 
convoy; who ^-^ came x3 off bwavewy, who UwU was shot, who uWu disgwac'd, >_> what 
terms x3 the ;;w;; enyemy :33 stood xDD on; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ;;w;; they UwU con pewfectwy uWu in x3 the 
phrase of waw, which ;;w;; they twick x3 up with new-tuned :3 oaths; ÚwÚ and >_> what 
:3 a ^w^ beawd of x3 the General's :3 cut ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> howwid >_> suit of x3 the ÚwÚ camp xDD wiww 
UwU do ^-^ among UwU foaming bottles ÚwÚ and ale-wash'd :33 wits >_> is ;;w;; wondewfuw to be 
xDD thought :3 on. OwO But xDD you ^w^ must :3 weawn to ^.^ knyow xDD such UwU swandews of x3 the age, 
ow >_> ewse xDD you OwO may be mawvewwouswy mistook. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. UwU I tell xDD you x3 what, uWu Captain ^w^ Gowew, UwU I UwU do >_> pewceive ^.^ he >_> is nyot 
x3 the x3 man :3 that ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd gwadwy >_< make x3 show to x3 the wowwd ^.^ he is; >_> if UwU I 
find :3 a x3 howe uWu in :33 his >_> coat UwU I xDD wiww tell ^.^ him x3 my :33 mind. [Drum ;;w;; within] 
^.^ Hawk UwU you, x3 the ^w^ King >_> is >w< coming; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must speak with ^.^ him from x3 the 
pwidge. 

Drum ÚwÚ and xDD cowouws. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and :33 his poor xDD sowdiews, 
ÚwÚ and GWOUCESTEW 

^w^ God x3 pwess x3 youw Majesty! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How now, Fluellen! Cam'st xDD thou from x3 the >_> bwidge? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Ay, UwU so uWu pwease x3 youw >_< Majesty. uWu The >w< Duke of Exeter >_> has xDD vewy 
xDD gawwantwy ÚwÚ maintain'd x3 the >w< pwidge; x3 the OwO Fwench >_> is >_> gonye ^w^ off, wook 
UwU you, ÚwÚ and there >_> is OwO gawwant ÚwÚ and UwU most ^.^ pwave ^.^ passages. OwO Mawwy, x3 th' 
athvewsawy UwU was uWu have >w< possession of x3 the >w< pwidge; >_> but ^.^ he >_> is enfowced 
to wetiwe, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< Duke of Exeter >_> is >_< mastew of x3 the >w< pwidge; UwU I ^.^ can 
tell x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty x3 the >w< Duke >_> is :3 a ^.^ pwave man. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What ;;w;; men uWu have xDD you :3 wost, Fluellen! 
uWu FWUEWWEN. uWu The ;;w;; pewdition of x3 th' athvewsawy hath :33 been xDD vewy ^.^ gweat, 
^.^ weasonyabwe gweat; marry, fow x3 my >_> pawt, UwU I think x3 the >w< Duke hath wost 
>_< nyevew :3 a ^w^ man, >_> but one :3 that >_> is ^.^ wike to be executed fow robbing :3 a 
x3 chuwch- one xDD Bawdowph, >_> if x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty ^.^ knyow x3 the xDD man; :33 his OwO face >_> is 
aww bubukles, ÚwÚ and whewks, ÚwÚ and knyobs, ÚwÚ and flames ^.^ o' x3 fiwe; ÚwÚ and :33 his 
lips ^w^ bwows uWu at :33 his nose, ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is ^.^ wike :3 a coaw of ^w^ fiwe, x3 sometimes 
plue ÚwÚ and x3 sometimes red; >_> but :33 his x3 nyose >_> is executed ÚwÚ and :33 his fiwe's 
OwO out. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. We ^.^ wouwd uWu have aww xDD such offenders UwU so :3 cut off. xDD And ^.^ we 
UwU give express :3 chawge :3 that uWu in UwU ouw ^w^ mawches ^w^ thwough x3 the countwy there 
be >_< nyothing OwO compeww'd from x3 the villages, >_< nyothing :33 taken >_> but paid 
for, >_< nyonye of x3 the OwO Fwench upbwaided ow :3 abused uWu in uWu disdainfuw 
wanguage; fow when lenity ÚwÚ and OwO cwuewty :33 pway fow :3 a ^w^ kingdom x3 the 
gentler gamestew >_> is x3 the ^-^ soonyest winner. 

>w< Tucket. Entew ^w^ MONTJOY 

MONTJOY. >_> You ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 my UwU habit. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Weww >w< then, UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ thee; >_> what UwU shaww UwU I ^.^ knyow of thee? 
MONTJOY. OwO My xDD mastew's :33 mind. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Unfold :3 it. 
MONTJOY. ^-^ Thus ;;w;; says x3 my king. x3 Say xDD thou to ÚwÚ Hawwy of UwU Engwand: ;;w;; Though ^.^ we 
^w^ seem'd >_< dead ^.^ we uWu did >_> but ^w^ sweep; ^w^ advantage >_> is :3 a xDD bettew soldier than 
xDD washnyess. Teww ^.^ him ^.^ we couwd uWu have >_> webuk'd ^.^ him uWu at UwU Hawfweuw, >_> but 
:3 that ^.^ we xDD thought nyot ÚwÚ good to bwuise >w< an ^-^ injuwy >w< tiww >w< it :3 wewe full 
wipe. Now ^.^ we speak ;;w;; upon UwU ouw ÚwÚ cue, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw uWu voice >_> is imperial: 
England UwU shaww wepent :33 his >_> fowwy, >_> see :33 his ÚwÚ weaknyess, ÚwÚ and >_< admiwe UwU ouw 
sufferance. x3 Bid ^.^ him >_< thewefowe OwO considew of :33 his ransom, which ^w^ must 
:33 pwopowtion x3 the :33 wosses ^.^ we uWu have bownye, x3 the subjects ^.^ we uWu have :3 wost, 
x3 the xDD disgwace ^.^ we uWu have x3 digested; ^w^ which, uWu in >_> weight to ^-^ we-answew, :33 his 
^-^ pettinyess ^.^ wouwd bow ;;w;; undew. For UwU ouw :33 wosses :33 his ^.^ exchequew >_> is ^w^ too 
poor; fow x3 th' ^.^ effusion of UwU ouw bwood, x3 the muster of :33 his ^w^ kingdom 
^w^ too ÚwÚ faint :3 a nyumbew; ÚwÚ and fow UwU ouw disgrace, :33 his UwU own ÚwÚ pewson >_< knyeewing 
uWu at UwU ouw ;;w;; feet >_> but :3 a xDD weak ÚwÚ and :33 wowthwess satisfaction. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ this >_< add 
^.^ defiance; ÚwÚ and tell :3 him, fow conclusion, ^.^ he hath ÚwÚ betwayed :33 his 
ÚwÚ fowwowews, x3 whose condemnyation >_> is x3 pwonyounc'd. ^w^ So uWu faw x3 my x3 king ÚwÚ and 
mastew; UwU so much x3 my ^w^ office. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What >_> is >w< thy :3 nyame? UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< thy ÚwÚ quawity. 
MONTJOY. Montjoy. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ Thou dost >w< thy ^.^ office x3 faiwwy. Tuwn uWu thee back, 
xDD And tell >w< thy x3 king UwU I UwU do nyot >_> seek ^.^ him now, 
OwO But couwd be ^.^ wiwwing to :33 mawch on to Calais 
Without impeachment; for, to >_> say x3 the uWu sooth- 
;;w;; Though UwU 'tis nyo ^.^ wisdom to x3 confess UwU so much 
uWu Unto >w< an ;;w;; enyemy of cwaft ÚwÚ and vantage- 
OwO My OwO peopwe OwO awe with sicknyess much ^.^ enfeebwed; 
OwO My xDD nyumbews lessen'd; ÚwÚ and UwU those x3 few UwU I uWu have 
Awmost nyo xDD bettew than UwU so UwU many Fwench; 
Who when ;;w;; they :3 wewe uWu in :33 heawth, UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, >_< hewawd, 
UwU I xDD thought ;;w;; upon one :33 paiw of :3 Engwish UwU wegs 
Did :33 mawch >w< thwee Frenchmen. ÚwÚ Yet :33 fowgive uWu me, :33 God, 
:33 That UwU I UwU do bwag ^.^ thus; ÚwÚ this x3 youw ^w^ aiw of Fwance 
>_< Hath >_> bwown :3 that :33 vice uWu in OwO me; UwU I ^w^ must wepent. 
^w^ Go, OwO thewefowe, tell >w< thy >_< mastew OwO hewe UwU I am; 
OwO My wansom >_> is ÚwÚ this frail ÚwÚ and :33 wowthwess >w< twunk; 
OwO My ^.^ awmy >_> but :3 a xDD weak ÚwÚ and >_> sickwy guard; 
Yet, ^w^ God x3 befowe, tell ^.^ him ^.^ we xDD wiww come ;;w;; on, 
;;w;; Though Fwance >_< himsewf ÚwÚ and xDD such anyothew OwO nyeighbouw 
;;w;; Stand uWu in UwU ouw >_> way. >_> Thewe's fow >w< thy wabouw, Montjoy. 
^w^ Go, bid >w< thy >_< mastew weww ;;w;; advise himself. 
;;w;; If ^.^ we OwO may pass, ^.^ we :33 wiww; >_> if ^.^ we be ^-^ hind'wed, 
We UwU shaww x3 youw OwO tawny x3 gwound with x3 youw red :3 bwood 
x3 Discowouw; ÚwÚ and >_> so, ÚwÚ Montjoy, ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
uWu The >w< sum of aww UwU ouw answew >_> is >_> but :33 this: 
We ^.^ wouwd nyot >_> seek :3 a ÚwÚ battwe >_< as ^.^ we >_< awe; 
x3 Nyow >_< as ^.^ we awe, ^.^ we say, ^.^ we xDD wiww nyot UwU shun :3 it. 
^w^ So tell x3 youw master. 
MONTJOY. UwU I UwU shaww ÚwÚ dewivew :3 so. x3 Thanks to x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. uWu Exit 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I UwU hope ;;w;; they xDD wiww nyot come ;;w;; upon >_> us now. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. We OwO awe uWu in >_> God's uWu hand, brother, nyot uWu in theirs. 
March to x3 the bridge, >w< it nyow ÚwÚ dwaws toward ^w^ nyight; 
^.^ Beyond x3 the river we'll encamp ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
xDD And on to-mowwow bid them :33 mawch xDD away. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
uWu The OwO Fwench ÚwÚ camp nyeaw ^w^ Agincouwt 

Entew x3 the >_< CONSTABWE ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE, x3 the >w< WOWD WAMBUWES, x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF UwU OWWEANS, 
x3 the DAUPHIN, with ;;w;; othews 

:3 CONSTABWE. Tut! UwU I uWu have x3 the best ^-^ awmouw of x3 the wowwd. 
Wouwd >w< it :3 wewe ^.^ day! 
ORLEANS. >_> You uWu have >w< an :3 excewwent awmouw; >_> but wet x3 my UwU howse uWu have :33 his 
ÚwÚ due. 
:3 CONSTABWE. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the best UwU howse of Euwope. 
ORLEANS. Will >w< it >_< nyevew be morning? 
OwO DAUPHIN. OwO My Lord of Owweans ÚwÚ and x3 my Lord xDD High ^-^ Constabwe, xDD you tawk of 
UwU howse ÚwÚ and ^w^ awmouw? 
ORLEANS. >_> You OwO awe >_< as weww x3 pwovided of both >_< as xDD any >_> pwince uWu in x3 the 
wowwd. 
OwO DAUPHIN. >_> What :3 a ^-^ wong >w< nyight >_> is x3 this! UwU I xDD wiww nyot change x3 my UwU howse with 
xDD any :3 that :33 tweads >_> but on fouw pasterns. ^-^ Ca, :33 ha! ^.^ he bounds from x3 the 
^.^ eawth >_< as >_> if :33 his entwaiws :3 wewe xDD haiws; ^.^ we x3 chevaw UwU vowant, x3 the 
uWu Pegasus, ^.^ chez >w< wes OwO nyawinyes UwU de ;;w;; feu! x3 When UwU I :3 bestwide ^.^ him UwU I OwO soaw, UwU I 
^w^ am :3 a hawk. >w< He twots x3 the air; x3 the ^.^ eawth ^-^ sings when ^.^ he >_> touches uWu it; 
x3 the ^w^ basest >_> hown of :33 his hoof >_> is ^.^ mowe UwU musicaw than x3 the :33 pipe of 
^.^ Hewmes. 
ORLEANS. He's of x3 the colour of x3 the nutmeg. 
OwO DAUPHIN. xDD And of x3 the ^.^ heat of x3 the >w< gingew. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a beast fow ^w^ Pewseus: 
^.^ he >_> is puwe ^w^ aiw ÚwÚ and x3 fiwe; ÚwÚ and x3 the dull ÚwÚ ewements of ^.^ eawth ÚwÚ and UwU watew 
>_< nyevew appeaw uWu in :3 him, >_> but >w< onwy uWu in patient stiwwnyess OwO whiwe :33 his 
widew ^-^ mounts him; ^.^ he >_> is ÚwÚ indeed :3 a horse, ÚwÚ and aww othew x3 jades xDD you 
OwO may caww x3 beasts. 
:3 CONSTABWE. >w< Indeed, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< it >_> is :3 a UwU most ^w^ absowute ÚwÚ and :3 excewwent 
horse. 
OwO DAUPHIN. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the >_> pwince of palfreys; :33 his nyeigh >_> is ^.^ wike x3 the 
OwO bidding of :3 a ^w^ monyawch, ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< countenyance >_> enfowces :33 homage. 
ORLEANS. No >_> mowe, :33 cousin. 
OwO DAUPHIN. Nyay, x3 the x3 man hath nyo wit :3 that cannot, from x3 the ;;w;; wising of 
x3 the lark to x3 the ;;w;; wodging of x3 the lamb, >_< vawy deserved praise on x3 my 
:33 pawfwey. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a :33 theme >_< as UwU fwuent >_< as x3 the :3 sea: turn x3 the UwU sands x3 into 
uWu ewoquent tongues, ÚwÚ and x3 my UwU howse >_> is :33 awgument fow them all: UwU 'tis :3 a 
x3 subject fow :3 a suvweign to reason ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and fow :3 a ^.^ suvweign's 
suvweign to uWu wide xDD on; ÚwÚ and fow x3 the world- ^.^ famiwiaw to >_> us ÚwÚ and 
uWu unknyown- to uWu way UwU apawt uWu theiw xDD pawticuwaw x3 functions ÚwÚ and wonder uWu at 
^.^ him. UwU I >_> once ^-^ wwit :3 a sonnet uWu in :33 his praise ÚwÚ and began thus: >_> 'Wondew 
of ^w^ nyatuwe'- 
ORLEANS. UwU I uWu have heard :3 a sonnet x3 begin UwU so to one's ^w^ mistwess. 
OwO DAUPHIN. UwU Then uWu did ;;w;; they ^.^ imitate :3 that which UwU I xDD compos'd to x3 my courser; 
fow x3 my UwU howse >_> is x3 my ^w^ mistwess. 
ORLEANS. uWu Youw mistwess bears well. 
OwO DAUPHIN. x3 Me well; which >_> is x3 the prescript praise ÚwÚ and pewfection of :3 a 
ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and xDD pawticuwaw ^w^ mistwess. 
:3 CONSTABWE. Nyay, fow >_> methought ;;w;; yestewday x3 youw mistwess >w< shwewdwy 
>_> shook x3 youw back. 
OwO DAUPHIN. ^w^ So ^-^ pewhaps uWu did x3 youws. 
:3 CONSTABWE. Mine UwU was nyot ÚwÚ bwidwed. 
OwO DAUPHIN. >_< O, xDD then ;;w;; bewike ^.^ she UwU was ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and gentle; ÚwÚ and xDD you rode ^.^ wike :3 a 
kern of ÚwÚ Iwewand, x3 youw OwO Fwench >_> hose x3 off ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 youw stwait 
strossers. 
:3 CONSTABWE. >_> You uWu have ÚwÚ good ^w^ judgment uWu in howsemanship. 
OwO DAUPHIN. ^w^ Be wawn'd ^.^ by uWu me, >_< then: ;;w;; they :3 that uWu wide >_> so, ÚwÚ and uWu wide nyot 
OwO wawiwy, faww x3 into fouw ^.^ bogs. UwU I xDD had rather uWu have x3 my UwU howse to x3 my 
^w^ mistwess. 
:3 CONSTABWE. UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief uWu have x3 my mistwess :3 a UwU jade. 
OwO DAUPHIN. UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ Constabwe, x3 my mistwess ^-^ weaws :33 his UwU own >w< haiw. 
:3 CONSTABWE. UwU I couwd >_< make >_< as true :3 a boast >_< as :3 that, >_> if UwU I xDD had :3 a ;;w;; sow to 
x3 my ^w^ mistwess. 
OwO DAUPHIN. ÚwÚ 'We x3 chien ;;w;; est retourne :3 a >_< son ÚwÚ pwopwe xDD vomissement, ^w^ et UwU wa 
twuie ÚwÚ wavee au OwO bouwbiew.' ^.^ Thou xDD mak'st use of x3 anything. 
:3 CONSTABWE. ÚwÚ Yet UwU do UwU I nyot use x3 my UwU howse fow x3 my ^-^ mistwess, ow xDD any xDD such 
pwuvwb UwU so xDD wittwe ^-^ kin to x3 the puwpose. 
^.^ WAMBUWES. OwO My Lord ^-^ Constabwe, x3 the ^-^ awmouw :3 that UwU I saw uWu in x3 youw ^w^ tent 
to-night- OwO awe UwU those stars ow >_> suns ;;w;; upon :33 it? 
:3 CONSTABWE. Stars, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO DAUPHIN. ;;w;; Some of them xDD wiww faww ^.^ to-mowwow, UwU I ^-^ hope. 
:3 CONSTABWE. xDD And yet x3 my sky UwU shaww nyot :33 want. 
OwO DAUPHIN. :33 That OwO may be, fow xDD you UwU beaw :3 a UwU many ÚwÚ supewfwuouswy, ÚwÚ and >w< 'twewe 
^.^ mowe honour x3 some :3 wewe xDD away. 
:3 CONSTABWE. Ev'n >_< as x3 youw UwU howse bears x3 youw praises, who ^.^ wouwd trot >_< as 
weww :3 wewe x3 some of x3 youw brags ÚwÚ dismounted. 
OwO DAUPHIN. Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe able to woad ^.^ him with :33 his desert! Will >w< it 
>_< nyevew be >w< day? UwU I xDD wiww trot to-mowwow :3 a mile, ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu way UwU shaww be 
>_> paved with :3 Engwish UwU faces. 
:3 CONSTABWE. UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> say >_> so, fow feaw UwU I >_> shouwd be fac'd x3 out of x3 my 
way; >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it :3 wewe UwU mownying, fow UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain be about x3 the 
OwO eaws of x3 the Engwish. 
^.^ WAMBUWES. Who xDD wiww OwO go to >_< hazawd with ;;w;; me fow ÚwÚ twenty >_> pwisonyews? 
:3 CONSTABWE. >_> You ^w^ must xDD fiwst OwO go >_> youwsewf to >_< hazawd ere xDD you uWu have OwO them. 
OwO DAUPHIN. 'Tis midnyight; I'll OwO go awm :3 mysewf. uWu Exit 
ORLEANS. uWu The uWu Dauphin OwO wongs fow xDD mownying. 
^.^ WAMBUWES. >w< He OwO wongs to eat x3 the Engwish. 
:3 CONSTABWE. UwU I think ^.^ he xDD wiww eat aww ^.^ he kills. 
ORLEANS. ^-^ By x3 the ^-^ white uWu hand of x3 my UwU wady, uWu he's :3 a OwO gawwant pwince. 
:3 CONSTABWE. Swear ^.^ by her xDD foot, :3 that ^.^ she OwO may ;;w;; twead x3 out x3 the uWu oath. 
ORLEANS. >w< He >_> is simply x3 the UwU most OwO active ÚwÚ gentweman of Fwance. 
:3 CONSTABWE. :33 Doing >_> is xDD activity, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he xDD wiww still be doing. 
ORLEANS. >w< He >_< nyevew uWu did x3 hawm :3 that UwU I heard uWu of. 
:3 CONSTABWE. x3 Nyow xDD wiww UwU do >_< nyonye OwO to-mowwow: ^.^ he xDD wiww >_< keep :3 that ÚwÚ good xDD nyame 
xDD stiww. 
ORLEANS. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him to be ^w^ vawiant. 
:3 CONSTABWE. UwU I UwU was told :3 that ^.^ by one :3 that xDD knyows ^.^ him xDD bettew than OwO you. 
ORLEANS. x3 What's uWu he? 
:3 CONSTABWE. OwO Mawwy, ^.^ he told ;;w;; me UwU so :33 himsewf; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he uWu said ^.^ he car'd nyot 
who UwU knyew :3 it. 
ORLEANS. >w< He >_< nyeeds x3 nyot; >w< it >_> is nyo ^-^ hidden viwtue uWu in ^.^ him. 
:3 CONSTABWE. ^-^ By x3 my ^w^ faith, ^w^ siw, >_> but >w< it is; >_< nyevew anybody saw >w< it >_> but 
:33 his lackey. 
'Tis :3 a ;;w;; hooded uWu vawouw, ÚwÚ and when >w< it >_> appeaws >w< it xDD wiww bate. 
ORLEANS. Ill-wind >_< nyevew uWu said well. 
:3 CONSTABWE. UwU I xDD wiww cap :3 that pwuvwb with ^-^ 'Thewe >_> is >w< fwattewy uWu in 
>_> fwiendship.' 
ORLEANS. xDD And UwU I xDD wiww OwO take x3 up :3 that with 'Give x3 the ^.^ deviw :33 his due.' 
:3 CONSTABWE. Weww ÚwÚ pwac'd! >_> Thewe >w< stands x3 youw :33 fwiend fow x3 the >_< deviw; 
uWu have uWu at x3 the xDD vewy ^w^ eye of :3 that pwuvwb with >_> 'A uWu pox of x3 the ^w^ deviw!' 
ORLEANS. >_> You OwO awe x3 the xDD bettew uWu at >_> pwuvwbs ^.^ by >w< how much >_> 'A ;;w;; foow's OwO bowt 
>_> is >w< soon UwU shot.' 
:3 CONSTABWE. >_> You uWu have UwU shot over. 
ORLEANS. 'Tis nyot x3 the xDD fiwst time xDD you :3 wewe overshot. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My Lord xDD High ^-^ Constabwe, x3 the :3 Engwish >_< wie within >_< fifteen 
:3 hundwed paces of x3 youw ;;w;; tents. 
:3 CONSTABWE. Who hath UwU measuw'd x3 the ground? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The Lord :33 Gwandpwe. 
:3 CONSTABWE. ^-^ A uWu vawiant ÚwÚ and UwU most x3 expewt :3 gentweman. Wouwd >w< it :3 wewe ^.^ day! 
ÚwÚ Awas, poor ÚwÚ Hawwy of England! ^.^ he OwO wongs nyot fow x3 the dawning >_< as ^.^ we 
xDD do. 
ORLEANS. >_> What :3 a wwetched ÚwÚ and >_> peevish fewwow >_> is ÚwÚ this ^w^ King of 
England, to ^.^ mope with :33 his fat-bwain'd ÚwÚ fowwowews UwU so uWu faw x3 out of :33 his 
knyowwedge! 
:3 CONSTABWE. ;;w;; If x3 the :3 Engwish xDD had xDD any uWu appwehension, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd >w< wun 
xDD away. 
ORLEANS. :33 That ;;w;; they ;;w;; wack; fow >_> if uWu theiw heads xDD had xDD any intewwectuaw 
awmouw, ;;w;; they couwd >_< nyevew ^-^ weaw xDD such x3 heavy uWu head-pieces. 
^.^ WAMBUWES. :33 That >_< iswand of England breeds xDD vewy uWu vawiant creatures; 
uWu theiw mastiffs OwO awe of unmatchable courage. 
ORLEANS. Foolish xDD cuws, :3 that >w< wun winking x3 into x3 the xDD mouth of :3 a ^-^ Wussian 
>_> beaw, ÚwÚ and uWu have uWu theiw heads ^w^ cwush'd ^.^ wike wotten >w< appwes! >_> You OwO may >_< as 
weww >_> say ^w^ that's :3 a uWu vawiant fwea :3 that dawe eat :33 his OwO bweakfast on x3 the 
>_< wip of :3 a >_> wion. 
:3 CONSTABWE. ÚwÚ Just, just! ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; men UwU do ^-^ sympathise with x3 the mastiffs 
uWu in robustious ÚwÚ and OwO wough xDD coming ;;w;; on, xDD weaving uWu theiw :33 wits with uWu theiw 
wives; ÚwÚ and xDD then UwU give them great ^w^ meaws of ^w^ beef ÚwÚ and iwon ÚwÚ and steel; 
;;w;; they xDD wiww eat ^.^ wike wolves ÚwÚ and >w< fight ^.^ wike OwO deviws. 
ORLEANS. Ay, >_> but these :3 Engwish OwO awe >w< shwewdwy x3 out of >_> beef. 
:3 CONSTABWE. UwU Then UwU shaww ^.^ we find to-mowwow ;;w;; they uWu have >w< onwy ^w^ stomachs to 
uWu eat, ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye to ^w^ fight. Now >_> is >w< it time to awm. ^.^ Come, UwU shaww ^.^ we 
about :33 it? 
ORLEANS. ^.^ It >_> is nyow >w< two o'clock; >_> but wet ;;w;; me >_> see- ^.^ by ;;w;; ten 
We UwU shaww uWu have >_< each :3 a :3 hundwed >_> Engwishmen. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. PROLOGUE. 

Entew CHORUS 

>_< CHOWUS. Now entertain conjecture of :3 a time 
x3 When xDD cweeping murmur ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 powing dark 
x3 Fiwws x3 the uWu wide vessel of x3 the universe. 
Fwom ÚwÚ camp to :3 camp, ^w^ thwough x3 the fouw womb of night, 
uWu The OwO hum of xDD eithew ^.^ awmy stilly >_< sounds, 
:33 That x3 the fix'd sentinels almost receive 
uWu The secret :3 whispews of >_< each ;;w;; othew's :33 watch. 
xDD Fiwe ^-^ answews ^w^ fiwe, ÚwÚ and ^w^ thwough uWu theiw ;;w;; pawy flames 
x3 Each ÚwÚ battwe sees x3 the ;;w;; othew's umber'd face; 
^w^ Steed threatens >w< steed, uWu in xDD high ÚwÚ and :3 boastfuw >w< nyeighs 
Piercing x3 the night's dull ^-^ eaw; ÚwÚ and from x3 the tents 
uWu The armourers >w< accompwishing x3 the knights, 
With >w< busy hammews xDD cwosing rivets up, 
Give :3 dweadfuw ^-^ nyote of >_> pwepawation. 
uWu The countwy cocks UwU do crow, x3 the >_< cwocks UwU do ton, 
xDD And x3 the thiwd >_> houw of ^-^ dwowsy mownying nyame. 
Pwoud of uWu theiw xDD nyumbews ÚwÚ and ^.^ secuwe uWu in x3 souw, 
uWu The xDD confident ÚwÚ and x3 uvw-wusty OwO Fwench 
Do x3 the wow-wated :3 Engwish :33 pway uWu at ^-^ dice; 
xDD And UwU chide x3 the ;;w;; cwippwe tawdy-gaited >w< nyight 
Who ^.^ wike :3 a fouw ÚwÚ and ugwy >w< witch xDD doth ^w^ wimp 
^w^ So tediously xDD away. uWu The poor condemnyed Engwish, 
Wike x3 sacwifices, ^.^ by uWu theiw ÚwÚ watchfuw fiwes 
xDD Sit x3 patientwy ÚwÚ and ^.^ inwy >_< wuminyate 
uWu The :3 mownying's xDD dangew; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw uWu gestuwe >_> sad 
>_> Investing OwO wank-wean >_> cheeks ÚwÚ and xDD waw-wown coats 
Presenteth them >w< unto x3 the >_< gazing ;;w;; moon 
^w^ So UwU many >_> howwid ^.^ ghosts. >_< O, now, who xDD wiww behowd 
uWu The royal UwU captain of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wuin'd band 
>_< Wawking from ;;w;; watch to >w< watch, from ^w^ tent to x3 tent, 
Let ^.^ him cwy :33 'Pwaise ÚwÚ and :3 gwowy on :33 his :33 head!' 
For fowth ^.^ he xDD goes ÚwÚ and >_> visits aww :33 his :3 host; 
:3 Bids them ÚwÚ good mowwow with :3 a :3 modest :33 smiwe, 
xDD And ;;w;; cawws them OwO bwothews, OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and uWu countwymen. 
>_> Upon :33 his royal OwO face there >_> is nyo ^-^ nyote 
How xDD dwead >w< an ^.^ awmy hath enrounded him; 
x3 Nyow xDD doth ^.^ he dedicate one jot of colour 
uWu Unto x3 the ÚwÚ weawy ÚwÚ and ;;w;; aww-watched ^w^ nyight; 
OwO But xDD fweshwy looks, ÚwÚ and uWu uvw-beaws attaint 
With cheerful ÚwÚ sembwance ÚwÚ and x3 sweet x3 majesty; 
:33 That every :3 wwetch, ÚwÚ pinying ÚwÚ and pawe x3 befowe, 
>_> Behowding :3 him, OwO pwucks uWu comfowt from :33 his looks; 
^-^ A largess ^w^ unyivewsaw, ^.^ wike x3 the sun, 
ÚwÚ His xDD wibewaw ^w^ eye xDD doth UwU give to every one, 
:33 Thawing UwU cowd ;;w;; feaw, :3 that >_> mean ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe aww 
UwU Behowd, >_< as OwO may ^w^ unwowthinyess >w< definye, 
^-^ A xDD wittwe :33 touch of ÚwÚ Hawwy uWu in x3 the OwO nyight. 
xDD And UwU so UwU ouw scene ^w^ must to x3 the ÚwÚ battwe xDD fwy; 
Where- x3 O fow :33 pity!- ^.^ we UwU shaww much xDD disgwace 
With fouw ow five UwU most ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ and ^-^ wagged foils, 
x3 Wight ill-dispos'd uWu in uWu bwaww widicuwous, 
uWu The xDD nyame of >_< Agincouwt. ÚwÚ Yet sit ÚwÚ and see, 
ÚwÚ Minding true ^.^ things ^.^ by >_> what uWu theiw mock'wies >w< be. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Fwance. uWu The :3 Engwish ÚwÚ camp uWu at ^w^ Agincouwt 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, ÚwÚ and GWOUCESTEW 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :33 Gwoucestew, UwU 'tis true :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe uWu in great xDD dangew; 
uWu The :33 gweatew >_< thewefowe >_> shouwd UwU ouw couwage >w< be. 
^-^ Good morrow, ÚwÚ bwothew Bedfowd. ^w^ God Awmighty! 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 some :3 souw of xDD goodnyess uWu in ^.^ things x3 eviw, 
Wouwd ;;w;; men observingly :33 distiw >w< it out; 
For UwU ouw :33 bad OwO nyeighbouw x3 makes >_> us early stirrers, 
>_< Which >_> is both OwO heawthfuw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good husbandwy. 
:33 Besides, ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU ouw :33 outwawd consciences 
xDD And preachers to >_> us all, >_> admonyishing 
:33 That ^.^ we >_> shouwd :3 dwess >_> us ^.^ faiwwy fow UwU ouw OwO end. 
^-^ Thus OwO may ^.^ we gathew honey from x3 the OwO weed, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a :3 mowaw of x3 the ^.^ deviw himself. 

Entew OwO EWPINGHAM 

^-^ Good morrow, ;;w;; owd Sir Thomas Ewpingham: 
^-^ A ÚwÚ good soft pillow fow :3 that ÚwÚ good ^-^ white >_> head 
^.^ Wewe xDD bettew than :3 a churlish ^-^ tuwf of Fwance. 
:33 EWPINGHAM. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, x3 my ÚwÚ wiege; ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wodging likes ;;w;; me better, 
Since UwU I OwO may >_> say x3 'Nyow >_< wie UwU I ^.^ wike :3 a king.' 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. 'Tis ÚwÚ good fow ;;w;; men to wuv uWu theiw xDD pwesent ^w^ pains 
>_> Upon exampwe; UwU so x3 the ^w^ spiwit >_> is OwO eased; 
xDD And when x3 the ^-^ mind >_> is x3 quick'nyed, x3 out of doubt 
uWu The organs, ^w^ though UwU defunct ÚwÚ and >_< dead x3 befowe, 
^.^ Bweak x3 up uWu theiw ^-^ dwowsy :3 gwave ÚwÚ and x3 nyewwy move 
With UwU casted slough ÚwÚ and >w< fwesh wegewity. 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me >w< thy cloak, Sir :3 Thomas. OwO Bwothews xDD both, 
>_< Commend ;;w;; me to x3 the pwinces uWu in UwU ouw ;;w;; camp; 
Do x3 my ÚwÚ good mowwow to ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and :3 anyon 
Desire them aww to x3 my paviwion. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. We UwU shaww, x3 my OwO wiege. 
:33 EWPINGHAM. Shall UwU I >_< attend x3 youw Gwace? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good :3 knyight: 
Go with x3 my bwothews to x3 my wowds of x3 Engwand; 
UwU I ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ bosom ^w^ must debate awhiwe, 
xDD And xDD then UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyo othew UwU company. 
:33 EWPINGHAM. uWu The Lord uWu in heaven ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ thee, x3 nyobwe Hawwy! 
Exeunt aww >_> but x3 the ;;w;; KING 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD God-a-mewcy, ;;w;; owd :33 heawt! xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st >w< cheewfuwwy. 

Entew PISTOW 

PISTOL. OwO Qui ÚwÚ va :3 wa? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ A :3 fwiend. 
PISTOL. x3 Discuss >w< unto ;;w;; me: awt xDD thou officer, 
:33 Ow awt xDD thou base, ^w^ common, ÚwÚ and popular? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of :3 a UwU company. 
PISTOL. Trail'st xDD thou x3 the x3 puissant xDD pike? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Even :3 so. >_> What OwO awe you? 
PISTOL. ;;w;; As ÚwÚ good :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman >_< as x3 the ÚwÚ Empewow. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Then xDD you OwO awe :3 a xDD bettew than x3 the ;;w;; King. 
PISTOL. uWu The >_< King's :3 a bawcock ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< heawt of ^.^ gowd, 
^-^ A >_< wad of :3 wife, >w< an ;;w;; imp of ÚwÚ fame; 
Of parents UwU good, of >_< fist UwU most ^w^ vawiant. 
UwU I :3 kiss :33 his dirty >w< shoe, ÚwÚ and from heawt-stwing 
UwU I wuv x3 the lovely bully. >_> What >_> is >w< thy :3 nyame? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ÚwÚ Hawwy ^.^ we x3 Woy. 
PISTOL. Le >w< Woy! :3 a ^w^ Cownyish UwU nyame; awt xDD thou of ^w^ Cownyish >w< cwew? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Nyo, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a xDD Wewshman. 
PISTOL. Knyow'st xDD thou x3 Fwuewwen? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 Yes. 
PISTOL. Teww ^.^ him I'll :3 knyock :33 his >_< week about :33 his OwO pate 
>_> Upon Saint :33 Davy's x3 day. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Do nyot xDD you ^-^ weaw x3 youw ÚwÚ daggew uWu in x3 youw cap :3 that ^-^ day, xDD west 
^.^ he :3 knyock :3 that about x3 youws. 
PISTOL. Awt xDD thou :33 his >w< fwiend? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD And :33 his kinsman UwU too. 
PISTOL. uWu The :33 figo fow ÚwÚ thee, >w< then! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I >_> thank uWu you; ^w^ God be with you! 
PISTOL. OwO My xDD nyame >_> is Pistow call'd. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ It sorts weww with x3 youw :33 fiewcenyess. 

Entew UwU FWUEWWEN ÚwÚ and >_< GOWEW 

GOWEW. uWu Captain Fluellen! 
uWu FWUEWWEN. OwO So! uWu in x3 the xDD nyame of >_< Jesu Christ, speak ^w^ fewew. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the 
ÚwÚ gweatest admiration uWu in x3 the ^-^ unyivewsaw ^w^ wowwd, when x3 the true ÚwÚ and 
aunchient prerogatifes ÚwÚ and UwU waws of x3 the UwU waws >_> is nyot kept: >_> if xDD you 
^.^ wouwd OwO take x3 the ^w^ pains >_> but to >_> examinye x3 the UwU waws of ÚwÚ Pompey x3 the Great, 
xDD you UwU shaww ^w^ find, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, :3 that there >_> is nyo :3 tiddwe-taddwe nor 
xDD pibbwe-pabbwe uWu in >_> Pompey's ;;w;; camp; UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, xDD you UwU shaww find x3 the 
uWu cewemonyies of x3 the ^-^ waws, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ cawes of :33 it, ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu fowms of :33 it, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the sobwiety of :33 it, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ modesty of :33 it, to be othewwise. 
GOWEW. Why, x3 the ;;w;; enyemy >_> is :3 woud; xDD you hear ^.^ him aww OwO nyight. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ;;w;; If x3 the ;;w;; enyemy >_> is >w< an ass, ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 foow, ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; pwating 
OwO coxcomb, >_> is >w< it ^w^ meet, think UwU you, :3 that ^.^ we >_> shouwd xDD awso, wook UwU you, be 
>w< an ass, ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 foow, ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; pwating coxcomb? ^w^ In x3 youw UwU own 
OwO conscience, ^.^ nyow? 
GOWEW. UwU I xDD wiww speak x3 wowew. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. UwU I pray xDD you ÚwÚ and :33 beseech xDD you :3 that xDD you :33 wiww. 
Exeunt >_< GOWEW ÚwÚ and UwU FWUEWWEN 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; Though >w< it appeaw :3 a xDD wittwe x3 out of fashion, 
>_> Thewe >_> is much :3 cawe ÚwÚ and valour uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD Wewshman. 

Entew >w< thwee sowdiews: >_< JOHN BATES, ALEXANDER x3 COUWT, 
ÚwÚ and MICHAEL >_> WIWWIAMS 

COURT. ^-^ Bwothew John uWu Bates, >_> is nyot :3 that x3 the mownying which >_< bweaks 
:33 yondew? 
BATES. UwU I think >w< it be; >_> but ^.^ we uWu have nyo great cause to ^.^ desiwe x3 the 
appwoach of x3 day. 
WIWWIAMS. We >_> see yonder x3 the beginning of x3 the ^-^ day, >_> but UwU I think ^.^ we 
UwU shaww >_< nyevew >_> see x3 the >w< end of :3 it. Who xDD goes OwO thewe? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ A :3 fwiend. 
WIWWIAMS. ;;w;; Undew >_> what UwU captain serve you? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; Undew Sir Thomas x3 Ewpingham. 
WIWWIAMS. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd commandew ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU most uWu kind :3 gentweman. UwU I pray 
UwU you, >_> what ^w^ thinks ^.^ he of UwU ouw UwU estate? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Even >_< as ;;w;; men ^.^ wweck'd ;;w;; upon :3 a sand, :3 that wook to be >w< wash'd 
x3 off x3 the :3 nyext uWu tide. 
BATES. >w< He hath nyot told :33 his xDD thought to x3 the >_> King? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. No; nor >w< it >_> is nyot :3 meet ^.^ he OwO shouwd. For ^w^ though UwU I speak >w< it 
to UwU you, UwU I think x3 the ^w^ King >_> is >_> but :3 a x3 man >_< as UwU I ^w^ am: x3 the violet >_< smewws 
to ^.^ him >_< as >w< it xDD doth to OwO me; x3 the element >_< shows to ^.^ him >_< as >w< it xDD doth to 
OwO me; aww :33 his :33 senses uWu have >_> but human :3 conditions; :33 his uWu cewemonyies laid 
UwU by, uWu in :33 his ÚwÚ nyakednyess ^.^ he >_> appeaws >_> but :3 a xDD man; ÚwÚ and ^w^ though :33 his 
affections OwO awe :3 highew UwU mounted than >_> ouws, ^w^ yet, when ;;w;; they ^w^ stoop, 
;;w;; they >_< stoop with x3 the ^.^ wike wing. >_< Thewefowe, when ^.^ he sees reason of 
>_> feaws, >_< as ^.^ we UwU do, :33 his >_> feaws, x3 out of doubt, be of x3 the same wewish 
>_< as ouws >_< awe; ^w^ yet, uWu in weason, nyo x3 man >_> shouwd possess ^.^ him with xDD any 
xDD appeawance of ;;w;; feaw, xDD west xDD he, ^.^ by ^.^ showing :33 it, >_> shouwd x3 disheawten :33 his 
army. 
BATES. >w< He OwO may x3 show >_> what :33 outwawd couwage ^.^ he :33 wiww; >_> but UwU I :33 bewieve, >_< as 
UwU cowd :3 a >w< nyight >_< as x3 'tis, ^.^ he couwd ÚwÚ wish >_< himsewf uWu in >_> Thames x3 up to x3 the 
neck; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he uWu wewe, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ by :3 him, uWu at aww adventures, UwU so 
^.^ we :3 wewe ^.^ quit hewe. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU I xDD wiww speak x3 my >_> conscience of x3 the ^.^ King: UwU I 
think ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ wish >_< himsewf anywhere >_> but :3 whewe ^.^ he >w< is. 
BATES. UwU Then UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he :3 wewe OwO hewe ^.^ awonye; UwU so >_> shouwd ^.^ he be >_< suwe to be 
uWu wansomed, ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU many poor men's ;;w;; wives saved. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I dawe >_> say xDD you wuv ^.^ him nyot UwU so :33 iww to ÚwÚ wish ^.^ him OwO hewe 
^-^ awonye, howsoever xDD you speak uWu this, to x3 feew othew men's minds; 
uWu methinks UwU I couwd nyot ^-^ die anywhere UwU so UwU contented >_< as uWu in x3 the >_< King's 
xDD company, :33 his cause ^.^ being >w< just ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ quawwew >w< honyouwabwe. 
WIWWIAMS. >w< That's ^.^ mowe than ^.^ we :33 knyow. 
BATES. Ay, ow ^.^ mowe than ^.^ we >_> shouwd >_> seek :3 aftew; fow ^.^ we ^.^ knyow enough >_> if 
^.^ we ^.^ knyow ^.^ we OwO awe x3 the >_< King's xDD subjects. ;;w;; If :33 his cause be wwong, UwU ouw 
^.^ obedience to x3 the ^w^ King :33 wipes x3 the crime of >w< it x3 out of >_> us. 
WIWWIAMS. OwO But >_> if x3 the cause be nyot UwU good, x3 the ^w^ King >_< himsewf hath :3 a 
x3 heavy reckoning to >_< make when aww UwU those UwU wegs ÚwÚ and :3 awms ÚwÚ and >_< heads, 
>w< chopp'd x3 off uWu in :3 a battwe, UwU shaww ^w^ join togethew uWu at x3 the UwU wattew day 
ÚwÚ and cwy aww ÚwÚ 'We >w< died uWu at xDD such :3 a uWu pwace'- x3 some uWu sweawing, x3 some :3 cwying 
fow :3 a surgeon, x3 some ;;w;; upon uWu theiw ;;w;; wives left poor x3 behind ÚwÚ them, x3 some 
;;w;; upon x3 the debts ;;w;; they owe, x3 some ;;w;; upon uWu theiw x3 chiwdwen rawly left. UwU I 
^w^ am >_< afeawd there OwO awe x3 few ^-^ die weww :3 that ^-^ die uWu in :3 a uWu battwe; fow >w< how 
^.^ can ;;w;; they x3 chawitabwy ^-^ dispose of ;;w;; anything when :3 bwood >_> is uWu theiw 
awgument? >_> Nyow, >_> if these ;;w;; men UwU do nyot ^-^ die weww, >w< it xDD wiww be :3 a black 
;;w;; mattew fow x3 the ^w^ King :3 that x3 wed them to uWu it; who to :33 disobey :3 wewe 
OwO against aww :33 pwopowtion of subjection. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. So, >_> if :3 a >_< son :3 that >_> is ^.^ by :33 his >w< fathew sent about 
ÚwÚ mewchandise UwU do ;;w;; sinfuwwy miscawwy ;;w;; upon x3 the :33 sea, x3 the ;;w;; imputation of 
:33 his wickednyess, ^.^ by x3 youw rule, >_> shouwd be >_< imposed ;;w;; upon :33 his >w< fathew 
:3 that sent him; ow >_> if :3 a uWu sewvant, :33 undew :33 his xDD mastew's ÚwÚ command 
ÚwÚ twanspowting :3 a >w< sum of monyey, be >w< assaiwed ^.^ by ^.^ wobbews ÚwÚ and ^-^ die uWu in 
UwU many irreconcil'd iniquities, xDD you OwO may caww x3 the business of x3 the 
>_< mastew x3 the ÚwÚ authow of x3 the servant's xDD damnyation. OwO But ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot so: 
x3 the ^w^ King >_> is nyot bound to answew x3 the xDD pawticuwaw :3 endings of :33 his 
xDD sowdiews, x3 the >w< fathew of :33 his x3 son, nor x3 the >_< mastew of :33 his sewvant; 
fow ;;w;; they OwO puwpose nyot uWu theiw :33 death when ;;w;; they OwO puwpose uWu theiw 
^w^ sewvices. :33 Besides, there >_> is nyo OwO king, be :33 his cause >_< nyevew UwU so 
x3 spotwess, >_> if >w< it come to x3 the ^-^ awbitwement of swowds, ^.^ can >_> twy >w< it x3 out 
with aww x3 unspotted sowdiews: x3 some pewadventuwe uWu have on them x3 the 
guilt of pwemeditated ÚwÚ and contrived :3 muwdew; some, of beguiling 
viwgins with x3 the xDD bwoken >_> seaws of perjury; some, x3 making x3 the UwU waws 
uWu theiw OwO buwwawk, :3 that uWu have >w< befowe gowed x3 the ^-^ gentwe ^w^ bosom of uWu peace 
with pillage ÚwÚ and robbery. >_> Nyow, >_> if these ;;w;; men uWu have ^-^ defeated x3 the law 
ÚwÚ and xDD outwun OwO nyative punyishment, ^w^ though ;;w;; they ^.^ can outstwip ;;w;; men ;;w;; they 
uWu have nyo x3 wings to fwy from :3 God: >w< waw >_> is ÚwÚ His beadwe, >w< waw >_> is ÚwÚ His 
uWu vengeance; UwU so :3 that OwO hewe ;;w;; men OwO awe punyish'd fow before-breach of x3 the 
>_< King's UwU waws uWu in nyow x3 the >_< King's ÚwÚ quawwew. Whewe ;;w;; they x3 feawed x3 the 
:33 death ;;w;; they uWu have :3 bownye >w< wife :3 away; ÚwÚ and :3 whewe ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd be >_< safe 
;;w;; they x3 pewish. UwU Then >_> if ;;w;; they ^-^ die unprovided, nyo ^.^ mowe >_> is x3 the ^w^ King 
guiwty of uWu theiw uWu damnyation than ^.^ he UwU was >w< befowe guiwty of UwU those 
^w^ impieties fow x3 the which ;;w;; they OwO awe nyow ^.^ visited. Evewy >_> subject's 
>_> duty >_> is x3 the xDD King's; >_> but every >_> subject's :3 souw >_> is :33 his own. 
Therefore >_> shouwd every soldier uWu in x3 the UwU waws UwU do >_< as every >w< sick x3 man 
uWu in :33 his uWu bed- >_< wash every ÚwÚ mote x3 out of :33 his ^w^ conscience; ÚwÚ and dying >_> so, 
:33 death >_> is to ^.^ him advantage; ow nyot ÚwÚ dying, x3 the time UwU was bwessedwy 
wost wherein xDD such uWu pwepawation UwU was OwO gainyed; ÚwÚ and uWu in ^.^ him :3 that xDD escapes 
>w< it :3 wewe nyot x3 sin to think :3 that, x3 making ^w^ God UwU so fwee >w< an OwO offew, >w< He 
wet ^.^ him outwive :3 that day to >_> see ÚwÚ His greatness, ÚwÚ and to >_< teach 
;;w;; othews >w< how ;;w;; they >_> shouwd ;;w;; pwepawe. 
WIWWIAMS. 'Tis cewtain, every x3 man :3 that dies UwU iww, x3 the :33 iww ;;w;; upon :33 his 
UwU own ^-^ head- x3 the ^w^ King >_> is nyot to answew fow :3 it. 
BATES. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ desiwe ^.^ he >_> shouwd answew fow uWu me, ÚwÚ and yet UwU I determine 
to >w< fight :3 wustiwy fow ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I mysewf heard x3 the ^w^ King >_> say ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot be wansom'd. 
WIWWIAMS. Ay, ^.^ he uWu said >_> so, to >_< make >_> us >w< fight :3 cheewfuwwy; >_> but when UwU ouw 
ÚwÚ thwoats OwO awe :3 cut ^.^ he OwO may be x3 wansom'd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we ^w^ nye'ew x3 the wiser. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ wive to >_> see :33 it, UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew :33 twust :33 his ;;w;; wowd >w< aftew. 
WIWWIAMS. >_> You x3 pay ^.^ him >w< then! >w< That's :3 a :33 pewiwous UwU shot x3 out of >w< an 
^-^ ewdew-gun, :3 that :3 a poor ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> pwivate >_< dispweasuwe ^.^ can UwU do OwO against :3 a 
monarch! >_> You OwO may >_< as weww OwO go about to turn x3 the sun to :3 ice with 
xDD fannying uWu in :33 his OwO face with :3 a >w< peacock's ^-^ feathew. You'll >_< nyevew :33 twust 
:33 his ;;w;; wowd ^w^ aftew! ^.^ Come, UwU 'tis :3 a >_< foowish saying. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu Youw >_< wepwoof >_> is ^-^ something ^w^ too round; UwU I >_> shouwd be angry 
with UwU you, >_> if x3 the time :3 wewe convenient. 
WIWWIAMS. Let >w< it be :3 a ^-^ quawwew ^-^ between >_> us >_> if xDD you wive. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I >_< embwace :3 it. 
WIWWIAMS. How UwU shaww UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee ^w^ again? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Give ;;w;; me xDD any >w< gage of xDD thinye, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ weaw >w< it uWu in x3 my 
bonnet; xDD then >_> if OwO evew xDD thou ^w^ daw'st :3 acknyowwedge :33 it, UwU I xDD wiww >_< make >w< it 
x3 my ÚwÚ quawwew. 
WIWWIAMS. >_> Hewe's x3 my gwuv; UwU give ;;w;; me anyothew of ÚwÚ thinye. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD Thewe. 
WIWWIAMS. This xDD wiww UwU I awso ^-^ weaw uWu in x3 my ^.^ cap; >_> if OwO evew xDD thou come to ;;w;; me 
ÚwÚ and say, ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ to-mowwow, 'This >_> is x3 my xDD gwuv,' ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu hand UwU I xDD wiww 
OwO take uWu thee :3 a ^w^ box on x3 the :3 eaw. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; If OwO evew UwU I ^w^ wive to >_> see :33 it, UwU I xDD wiww challenge :3 it. 
WIWWIAMS. ^.^ Thou ^w^ daw'st >_< as weww be xDD hang'd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :33 it, ^w^ though UwU I OwO take uWu thee uWu in x3 the >_< King's 
UwU company. 
WIWWIAMS. ^w^ Keep >w< thy OwO wowd. >w< Fawe uWu thee well. 
BATES. ^w^ Be OwO fwiends, xDD you :3 Engwish :3 foows, be >_< fwiends; ^.^ we uWu have 
OwO Fwench quarrels ;;w;; enyow, >_> if xDD you couwd tell >w< how to ÚwÚ weckon. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >w< Indeed, x3 the OwO Fwench OwO may uWu way ÚwÚ twenty OwO Fwench :3 cwowns to one 
;;w;; they xDD wiww xDD beat us, fow ;;w;; they UwU beaw them on uWu theiw >_< shouwdews; >_> but >w< it 
>_> is nyo :3 Engwish UwU tweason to :3 cut OwO Fwench :33 cwowns, ÚwÚ and to-mowwow x3 the 
^w^ King >_< himsewf xDD wiww be :3 a xDD cwippew. 
Exeunt ^-^ sowdiews 
>_> Upon x3 the King! Let >_> us UwU ouw lives, UwU ouw souws, 
Our debts, UwU ouw careful ^-^ wives, 
Our chiwdwen, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw OwO sins, uWu way on x3 the King! 
We ^w^ must UwU beaw all. x3 O x3 hawd ^w^ condition, 
Twin-born with greatness, x3 subject to x3 the UwU bweath 
Of every x3 foow, x3 whose sense nyo ^.^ mowe ^.^ can x3 feew 
OwO But :33 his UwU own wringing! >_> What :3 infinyite heart's ^w^ ease 
:3 Must >w< kings >_> nyegwect :3 that >_> pwivate ;;w;; men enjoy! 
xDD And >_> what uWu have >w< kings :3 that ^.^ pwivates uWu have nyot :3 too, 
:3 Save cewemony- :3 save general ceremony? 
xDD And >_> what awt UwU thou, xDD thou idol Ceremony? 
>_> What uWu kind of god awt UwU thou, :3 that suffer'st ^.^ mowe 
Of >w< mowtaw griefs than UwU do >w< thy >w< wowshippews? 
>_> What OwO awe >w< thy wents? >_> What OwO awe >w< thy >w< comings-in? 
x3 O Ceremony, x3 show ;;w;; me >_> but >w< thy :33 wowth! 
>_> What >_> is >w< thy :3 souw of >w< adowation? 
Awt xDD thou ^.^ aught >_> ewse >_> but pwace, >_< degwee, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fowm, 
^.^ Cweating OwO awe ÚwÚ and feaw uWu in othew men? 
^-^ Whewein xDD thou awt less ^w^ happy ^.^ being feaw'd 
Than ;;w;; they uWu in fearing. 
>_> What xDD dwink'st xDD thou :3 oft, ^w^ instead of UwU homage sweet, 
OwO But OwO poison'd flattery? >_< O, be :33 sick, great greatness, 
xDD And bid >w< thy ceremony UwU give uWu thee ^-^ cuwe! 
uWu Thinks xDD thou x3 the fiery x3 fevew xDD wiww OwO go x3 out 
With titles >_> bwown from ÚwÚ aduwation? 
Will >w< it UwU give :33 pwace to x3 fwexuwe ÚwÚ and wow bending? 
ÚwÚ Canst UwU thou, when xDD thou command'st x3 the ^.^ beggaw's OwO knyee, 
xDD Command x3 the ^.^ heawth of :33 it? :3 Nyo, xDD thou OwO pwoud x3 dweam, 
:33 That ^.^ pway'st UwU so subtwy with :3 a >_< king's uWu wepose. 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 king :3 that find ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow 
'Tis nyot x3 the balm, x3 the sceptre, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO baww, 
uWu The uWu swowd, x3 the ^w^ mace, x3 the >_< cwown impewiaw, 
uWu The ÚwÚ intewtissued wobe of gowd ÚwÚ and >_> peaww, 
uWu The :33 fawced >_< tide wunnying fore x3 the OwO king, 
uWu The >_< thwonye ^.^ he >_> sits ;;w;; on, nor x3 the >_< tide of pomp 
:33 That ÚwÚ beats ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD high >w< showe of ÚwÚ this world- 
:3 Nyo, nyot aww OwO these, thrice gowgeous cewemony, 
ÚwÚ Nyot aww OwO these, laid uWu in x3 bed uWu majesticaw, 
UwU Can :33 sweep UwU so uWu soundwy >_< as x3 the wwetched ;;w;; swave 
UwU Who, with :3 a >w< body :3 fiww'd ÚwÚ and ;;w;; vacant UwU mind, 
ÚwÚ Gets ^.^ him to ^-^ west, cramm'd with distressful bwead; 
xDD Nyevew sees >_> howwid night, x3 the chiwd of heww; 
But, ^.^ wike :3 a >w< wackey, from x3 the rise to uWu set 
Sweats uWu in x3 the ^w^ eye of Pheebus, ÚwÚ and aww >w< nyight 
UwU Sweeps uWu in Elysium; :3 nyext ^-^ day, ÚwÚ aftew dawn, 
^-^ Doth rise ÚwÚ and OwO hewp Hyperion to :33 his :33 howse; 
xDD And xDD fowwows UwU so x3 the ever-running xDD yeaw 
With ÚwÚ pwofitabwe wabouw, to :33 his x3 gwave. 
xDD And >_> but fow cewemony, xDD such :3 a :3 wwetch, 
OwO Winding x3 up OwO days with toiw ÚwÚ and :33 nyights with sweep, 
xDD Had x3 the xDD fowe-hand ÚwÚ and ;;w;; vantage of :3 a king. 
uWu The :33 swave, :3 a member of x3 the >_> countwy's ÚwÚ peace, 
:3 Enjoys uWu it; >_> but uWu in gwoss :3 bwain xDD wittwe ^-^ wots 
>_> What ;;w;; watch x3 the x3 king keeps to ÚwÚ maintain x3 the uWu peace 
>_< Whose >_> houws x3 the peasant best ;;w;; advantages. 

Entew OwO EWPINGHAM 

:33 EWPINGHAM. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 youw ^.^ nyobwes, jealous of x3 youw >_> absence, 
;;w;; Seek ^w^ thwough x3 youw ÚwÚ camp to find OwO you. 
>w< KING. ^-^ Good ;;w;; owd UwU knyight, 
Collect them aww togethew uWu at x3 my tent: 
I'll be >w< befowe thee. 
:33 EWPINGHAM. UwU I UwU shaww ;;w;; do't, x3 my OwO wowd. uWu Exit 
>w< KING. x3 O ^w^ God of ^w^ battwes, steew x3 my :3 sowdiews' hearts, 
Possess them nyot with ÚwÚ feaw! ^.^ Take from them nyow 
uWu The sense of ^w^ weck'nying, >_> if x3 th' >_< opposed xDD nyumbews 
Pluck uWu theiw heawts from >w< them! ÚwÚ Nyot uWu to-day, x3 O Wowd, 
>_< O, nyot uWu to-day, think nyot ;;w;; upon x3 the ;;w;; fauwt 
OwO My >w< fathew UwU made uWu in :3 compassing x3 the uWu cwown! 
UwU I >w< Wichawd's >w< body uWu have :3 intewwed ^w^ nyew, 
xDD And on >w< it uWu have uWu bestowed ^.^ mowe contwite tears 
Than from >w< it :33 issued xDD fowced ^.^ dwops of ^-^ bwood; 
:3 Five :3 hundwed poor UwU I uWu have uWu in yeawwy :33 pay, 
Who twice :3 a day uWu theiw :33 withew'd ^.^ hands howd x3 up 
uWu Towawd ^.^ heaven, to UwU pawdon ^-^ bwood; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have buiwt 
Two chantries, :3 whewe x3 the >_> sad ÚwÚ and solemn priests 
:33 Sing still fow >w< Wichawd's ^-^ souw. uWu Mowe xDD wiww UwU I do; 
;;w;; Though aww :3 that UwU I ^.^ can UwU do >_> is >_< nyothing ^.^ wowth, 
Since :3 that x3 my penitence x3 comes ÚwÚ aftew all, 
ÚwÚ Impwowing pardon. 

Entew GWOUCESTEW 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My wiege! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew :3 Gwoucestew's :33 voice? Ay; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< thy uWu ewwand, UwU I xDD wiww OwO go with ÚwÚ thee; 
uWu The ^-^ day, x3 my OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and aww :3 things, xDD stay fow x3 me. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The OwO Fwench ÚwÚ camp 

Entew x3 the DAUPHIN, UwU OWWEANS, WAMBUWES, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

ORLEANS. uWu The sun xDD doth gild UwU ouw awmouw; up, x3 my lords! 
OwO DAUPHIN. OwO Montez :3 a x3 chevaw! OwO My UwU howse! UwU Vawwet, :33 waquais! uWu Ha! 
ORLEANS. x3 O >_< bwave :33 spiwit! 
OwO DAUPHIN. Via! ^-^ Wes xDD eaux ^w^ et UwU wa xDD tewwe- 
ORLEANS. OwO Wien ^-^ puis? ;;w;; W'aiw ^w^ et ^.^ we ^-^ feu. 
OwO DAUPHIN. Ciel! xDD cousin >_> Owweans. 

Entew >_< CONSTABWE 

>_> Nyow, x3 my Lord Constabwe! 
:3 CONSTABWE. ^.^ Hawk >w< how UwU ouw OwO steeds fow xDD pwesent OwO sewvice ^w^ nyeigh! 
OwO DAUPHIN. ^-^ Mount ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^-^ incision uWu in uWu theiw UwU hides, 
:33 That uWu theiw :3 hot :3 bwood OwO may x3 spin uWu in :3 Engwish ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And :3 dout them with supewfwuous couwage, :33 ha! 
^.^ WAMBUWES. What, xDD wiww xDD you uWu have them xDD weep UwU ouw ^w^ howses' >_< bwood? 
How UwU shaww ^.^ we xDD then behowd uWu theiw natural teaws? 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The :3 Engwish OwO awe x3 embattw'd, xDD you OwO Fwench peews. 
:3 CONSTABWE. ;;w;; To horse, xDD you OwO gawwant ÚwÚ Pwinces! ^w^ stwaight to UwU howse! 
Do >_> but behowd >_< yon poor ÚwÚ and starved :33 band, 
xDD And x3 youw >w< faiw x3 show UwU shaww uWu suck OwO away uWu theiw souws, 
^.^ Weaving them >_> but x3 the shales ÚwÚ and uWu husks of ^.^ men. 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyot ^.^ wowk enough fow aww UwU ouw hands; 
Scarce :3 bwood enough uWu in aww uWu theiw >_> sickwy >_> veins 
;;w;; To UwU give >_< each nyaked cuwtwe-axe :3 a stain 
:33 That UwU ouw OwO Fwench gawwants UwU shaww ^w^ to-day dwaw ^.^ out, 
xDD And sheathe fow ^.^ wack of ;;w;; spowt. Let >_> us >_> but ^w^ bwow on ÚwÚ them, 
uWu The >_> vapouw of UwU ouw valour xDD wiww ÚwÚ o'ewtuwn OwO them. 
'Tis positive uWu 'gainst aww exceptions, wowds, 
:33 That UwU ouw supewfwuous >w< wackeys ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ;;w;; peasants- 
Who uWu in unnecessary uWu action swarm 
About UwU ouw squawes of >_> battwe- :3 wewe ^w^ enyow 
;;w;; To OwO puwge ÚwÚ this field :33 of, xDD such :3 a hilding >_< foe; 
;;w;; Though ^.^ we ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ mountain's >_< basis ^.^ by 
>w< Took stand fow idle speculation- 
OwO But :3 that UwU ouw honyouws ^w^ must not. x3 What's to ^.^ say? 
^-^ A xDD vewy xDD wittwe xDD wittwe wet >_> us UwU do, 
xDD And aww >_> is ^-^ donye. UwU Then wet x3 the trumpets >_> sound 
uWu The tucket ^-^ sonyance ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ nyote to mount; 
For UwU ouw appwoach UwU shaww UwU so much dawe x3 the field 
:33 That England UwU shaww UwU couch down uWu in feaw ÚwÚ and >_< yiewd. 

Entew :3 GWANDPWE 

UwU GWANDPWE. Why UwU do xDD you xDD stay UwU so long, x3 my wowds of France? 
uWu Yond >_< iswand carrions, despewate of uWu theiw xDD bonyes, 
>w< Iww-favouwedwy :33 become x3 the mownying :3 fiewd; 
^-^ Theiw ^-^ wagged cuwtains poorly OwO awe wet UwU woose, 
xDD And UwU ouw ^w^ aiw ÚwÚ shakes them passing scornfully; 
^w^ Big uWu Maws ;;w;; seems >w< bankwupt uWu in uWu theiw UwU beggaw'd >_< host, 
xDD And ^w^ faintwy ^w^ thwough :3 a rusty ;;w;; beavew ÚwÚ peeps. 
uWu The ^.^ howsemen sit ^.^ wike xDD fixed :33 candwesticks 
With UwU towch-staves uWu in uWu theiw xDD hand; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw poor x3 jades 
Lob down uWu theiw >_< heads, uWu dwopping x3 the OwO hides ÚwÚ and >_< hips, 
uWu The OwO gum down-woping from uWu theiw pale-dead ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And uWu in uWu theiw pawe dull mouths x3 the gimmal'd xDD bit 
Lies fouw with chaw'd gwass, still ÚwÚ and x3 motionwess; 
xDD And uWu theiw ^.^ executows, x3 the knavish crows, 
xDD Fwy ^-^ o'ew ÚwÚ them, aww ;;w;; impatient fow uWu theiw hour. 
ÚwÚ Descwiption ;;w;; cannyot >_> suit itsewf uWu in wowds 
;;w;; To demonstrate x3 the >w< wife of xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ battwe 
^w^ In >w< wife UwU so wifewess >_< as >w< it >_< shows itself. 
:3 CONSTABWE. ^-^ They uWu have uWu said uWu theiw >_< pwayews ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they xDD stay fow death. 
OwO DAUPHIN. Shall ^.^ we OwO go >_> send them dinnyews ÚwÚ and >w< fwesh suits, 
xDD And UwU give uWu theiw ;;w;; fasting :3 howses >_> pwuvndew, 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew >w< fight with them? 
:3 CONSTABWE. UwU I xDD stay >_> but fow x3 my >w< guidon. ;;w;; To x3 the field! 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 the ^.^ bannyew from :3 a ÚwÚ twumpet take, 
xDD And use >w< it fow x3 my ^.^ haste. ^.^ Come, come, away! 
uWu The sun >_> is UwU high, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we :3 outweaw x3 the x3 day. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The :3 Engwish ÚwÚ camp 

Entew ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, x3 EXETEW, ^w^ EWPINGHAM, with aww :33 his :3 host; 
SALISBURY ÚwÚ and WESTMOWEWAND 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Whewe >_> is x3 the >_> King? 
BEDFORD. uWu The ^w^ King >_< himsewf >_> is rode to x3 view uWu theiw ^.^ battwe. 
WESTMORELAND. Of fighting ;;w;; men ;;w;; they uWu have full three-score ÚwÚ thousand. 
UwU EXETEW. >_> Thewe's five to onye; >_< besides, ;;w;; they aww OwO awe ÚwÚ fwesh. 
SAWISBUWY. >_> God's awm strike with ÚwÚ us! UwU 'tis :3 a x3 feawfuw odds. 
^w^ God >w< bye UwU you, Princes aww; I'll to x3 my chawge. 
;;w;; If ^.^ we nyo ^.^ mowe :3 meet >w< tiww ^.^ we :3 meet uWu in ^.^ heaven, 
UwU Then joyfuwwy, x3 my x3 nyobwe Lord of x3 Bedfowd, 
OwO My uWu deaw Lord :33 Gwoucestew, ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord >_< Exetew, 
xDD And x3 my uWu kind kinsman- :33 wawwiows all, ^w^ adieu! 
BEDFORD. UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good Sawisbuwy; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good luck OwO go with uWu thee! 
UwU EXETEW. UwU Faweweww, uWu kind OwO wowd. Fight valiantly to-day; 
xDD And yet UwU I UwU do uWu thee wrong to ^-^ mind uWu thee of :33 it, 
For xDD thou awt >w< fwam'd of x3 the >w< fiwm uWu twuth of ;;w;; vawouw. 
uWu Exit SALISBURY 
BEDFORD. >w< He >_> is >_< as full of valour >_< as of kindness; 
>_< Pwincewy uWu in xDD both. 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING 

WESTMORELAND. x3 O :3 that ^.^ we nyow xDD had OwO hewe 
OwO But one ;;w;; ten thousand of UwU those ;;w;; men uWu in England 
:33 That UwU do nyo ^.^ wowk to-day! 
>w< KING. x3 What's ^.^ he :3 that wishes so? 
OwO My xDD cousin Westmowewand? :3 Nyo, x3 my >w< faiw :3 cousin; 
;;w;; If ^.^ we OwO awe uWu mawk'd to >_> die, ^.^ we OwO awe ^w^ enyow 
;;w;; To UwU do UwU ouw countwy loss; ÚwÚ and >_> if to x3 wive, 
uWu The OwO fewew men, x3 the :33 gweatew share of honyouw. 
>_> God's will! UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ wish nyot one x3 man more. 
^-^ By Juv, UwU I ^w^ am nyot covetous fow ^.^ gowd, 
x3 Nyow :3 cawe UwU I who xDD doth >w< feed ;;w;; upon x3 my cost; 
^.^ It yeawns ;;w;; me nyot >_> if ;;w;; men x3 my xDD gawments ÚwÚ weaw; 
>w< Such :33 outwawd ^.^ things dwell nyot uWu in x3 my :33 desiwes. 
OwO But >_> if >w< it be :3 a x3 sin to covet honyouw, 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the UwU most offending :3 souw alive. 
:3 Nyo, ^w^ faith, x3 my x3 coz, ÚwÚ wish nyot :3 a x3 man from ^w^ Engwand. 
>_> God's peace! UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot wose UwU so great >w< an honour 
;;w;; As one x3 man ^.^ mowe uWu methinks ^.^ wouwd share from ;;w;; me 
For x3 the best UwU hope UwU I :3 have. >_< O, UwU do nyot ÚwÚ wish one uWu mowe! 
Rather :3 pwocwaim :33 it, uWu Westmowewand, ^w^ thwough x3 my >_< host, 
:33 That ^.^ he which hath nyo stomach to ÚwÚ this x3 fight, 
Let ^.^ him uWu depawt; :33 his passpowt UwU shaww be made, 
xDD And :3 cwowns fow :33 convoy put x3 into :33 his purse; 
We ^.^ wouwd nyot ^-^ die uWu in :3 that :33 man's >_< company 
:33 That OwO feaws :33 his fewwowship to ^-^ die with >_> us. 
This day >_> is ^w^ caww'd x3 the >_> feast of Crispian. 
>w< He :3 that outlives ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, ÚwÚ and x3 comes >_< safe ^.^ home, 
Will stand :3 a :33 tip-toe when ÚwÚ this day >_> is ^-^ nyam'd, 
xDD And wouse ^.^ him uWu at x3 the xDD nyame of Crispian. 
>w< He :3 that UwU shaww ^w^ wive ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, ÚwÚ and >_> see ;;w;; owd age, 
Will yeawwy on x3 the ;;w;; vigiw >_> feast :33 his ÚwÚ nyeighbouws, 
xDD And >_> say uWu 'To-mowwow >_> is Saint Crispian.' 
UwU Then xDD wiww ^.^ he stwip :33 his >_> sweeve ÚwÚ and x3 show :33 his ^-^ scaws, 
xDD And >_> say 'These wounds UwU I xDD had on Cwispian's day.' 
^-^ Owd ;;w;; men fowget; yet aww UwU shaww be >w< fowgot, 
OwO But he'ww UwU wemembew, with uWu advantages, 
>_> What ^w^ feats ^.^ he uWu did :3 that x3 day. UwU Then UwU shaww UwU ouw names, 
Familiar uWu in :33 his xDD mouth >_< as :33 househowd words- 
ÚwÚ Hawwy x3 the OwO King, >_< Bedfowd ÚwÚ and >_< Exetew, 
Wawwick ÚwÚ and Talbot, uWu Sawisbuwy ÚwÚ and Gwoucestew- 
^w^ Be uWu in uWu theiw :33 fwowing ;;w;; cups xDD fweshwy x3 wememb'wed. 
This ^-^ stowy UwU shaww x3 the ÚwÚ good x3 man >_< teach :33 his son; 
xDD And ^-^ Cwispin Cwispian UwU shaww ^w^ nye'ew OwO go UwU by, 
Fwom ÚwÚ this day to x3 the >w< ending of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
OwO But ^.^ we uWu in >w< it UwU shaww be uWu wemembewed- 
We ÚwÚ few, ^.^ we ^w^ happy ÚwÚ few, ^.^ we band of >w< bwothews; 
For ^.^ he ^w^ to-day :3 that :3 sheds :33 his :3 bwood with ;;w;; me 
Shall be x3 my bwothew; be ^.^ he ^w^ nye'ew UwU so ^w^ viwe, 
This day UwU shaww ^-^ gentwe :33 his ^w^ condition; 
xDD And gentlemen uWu in England x3 nyow-a-bed 
Shall think x3 themsewves ^.^ accuws'd ;;w;; they :3 wewe nyot UwU hewe, 
xDD And howd uWu theiw ^w^ manhoods cheap whiwes xDD any xDD speaks 
:33 That ÚwÚ fought with >_> us ;;w;; upon Saint :33 Cwispin's x3 day. 

^.^ We-entew SALISBURY 

SAWISBUWY. OwO My suvweign uWu wowd, bestow >_> youwsewf with speed: 
uWu The OwO Fwench OwO awe bravely uWu in uWu theiw :3 battwes ^-^ set, 
xDD And xDD wiww with aww expedience :3 chawge on >_> us. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. All ^.^ things OwO awe :3 weady, >_> if UwU ouw minds be :3 so. 
WESTMORELAND. Pewish x3 the x3 man x3 whose ^-^ mind >_> is uWu backwawd >_< nyow! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ Thou dost nyot ÚwÚ wish ^.^ mowe OwO hewp from England, >_< coz? 
WESTMORELAND. >_> God's :33 wiww, x3 my wiege! ^.^ wouwd xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I ^-^ awonye, 
Without ^.^ mowe hewp, couwd >w< fight ÚwÚ this royal ^w^ battwe! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Why, nyow xDD thou x3 hast unwish'd five thousand ÚwÚ men; 
>_< Which likes ;;w;; me xDD bettew than to ÚwÚ wish >_> us onye. 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 youw UwU pwaces. ^w^ God be with xDD you :33 aww! 

>w< Tucket. Entew ^w^ MONTJOY 

MONTJOY. Once ^.^ mowe UwU I come to ^.^ knyow of ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ King ^w^ Hawwy, 
;;w;; If fow >w< thy wansom xDD thou wiwt nyow UwU compound, 
^.^ Befowe >w< thy UwU most assured x3 uvwthwow; 
For :3 cewtainwy xDD thou awt UwU so nyeaw x3 the ^w^ guwf 
^.^ Thou >_< nyeeds ^w^ must be OwO engwutted. :33 Besides, uWu in mercy, 
uWu The ÚwÚ constabwe desiwes uWu thee xDD thou wiwt ^-^ mind 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ fowwowews of repentance, :3 that uWu theiw >w< souws 
^-^ May >_< make :3 a UwU peacefuw ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 sweet uWu wetiwe 
Fwom x3 off these >w< fiewds, where, uWu wwetches, uWu theiw poor >_< bodies 
:3 Must >_< wie ÚwÚ and fester. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Who hath sent uWu thee ^.^ nyow? 
MONTJOY. uWu The uWu Constabwe of Fwance. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I pray uWu thee UwU beaw x3 my xDD fowmew answew uWu back: 
x3 Bid them ;;w;; achieve uWu me, ÚwÚ and xDD then ;;w;; seww x3 my xDD bonyes. 
^-^ Good uWu God! >w< why >_> shouwd ;;w;; they ÚwÚ mock poor ^w^ fewwows >_< thus? 
uWu The x3 man :3 that >_> once uWu did ;;w;; seww x3 the ;;w;; wion's uWu skin 
While x3 the beast liv'd UwU was kill'd with :33 hunting ^.^ him. 
^-^ A UwU many of UwU ouw >_< bodies UwU shaww nyo doubt 
UwU Find OwO nyative xDD gwaves; ;;w;; upon x3 the ^w^ which, UwU I ^w^ twust, 
Shall >_> witnyess ^w^ wive uWu in brass of ÚwÚ this day's >w< wowk. 
xDD And UwU those :3 that OwO weave uWu theiw uWu vawiant bones uWu in >_< Fwance, 
Dying ^.^ wike men, ^w^ though buried uWu in x3 youw uWu dunghiwws, 
^-^ They UwU shaww be fam'd; fow there x3 the sun UwU shaww x3 gweet them 
xDD And dwaw uWu theiw honyouws weeking x3 up to ^.^ heaven, 
^.^ Weaving uWu theiw ÚwÚ eawthwy parts to >_< choke x3 youw clime, 
uWu The smell xDD wheweof UwU shaww breed :3 a pwague uWu in Fwance. 
>_> Mawk xDD then UwU abounding valour uWu in UwU ouw Engwish, 
^.^ That, ^.^ being >_< dead, ^.^ wike to x3 the bullet's grazing 
^.^ Bweak x3 out x3 into :3 a second course of mischief, 
Killing uWu in wewapse of >_< mowtawity. 
Let ;;w;; me speak ^-^ pwoudwy: tell x3 the uWu Constabwe 
We OwO awe >_> but :33 wawwiows fow x3 the >_> wowking-day; 
Our gayness ÚwÚ and UwU ouw gilt OwO awe aww besmiwch'd 
With wainy ^.^ mawching uWu in x3 the >w< painfuw :3 fiewd; 
>_> Thewe's nyot :3 a ^.^ piece of ÚwÚ feathew uWu in UwU ouw OwO host- 
^-^ Good :33 awgument, UwU I hope, ^.^ we xDD wiww nyot ^-^ fwy- 
xDD And time hath wown >_> us x3 into uWu swuvnwy. 
But, ^.^ by x3 the UwU mass, UwU ouw heawts OwO awe uWu in x3 the ;;w;; twim; 
xDD And x3 my poor ^-^ sowdiews tell ;;w;; me yet ere >w< nyight 
x3 They'ww be uWu in ^-^ fweshew wobes, ow ;;w;; they xDD wiww pluck 
uWu The x3 gay x3 nyew coats ^-^ o'ew x3 the OwO Fwench :3 sowdiews' heads 
xDD And turn them x3 out of service. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they UwU do OwO this- 
As, >_> if ^w^ God please, ;;w;; they shaww- x3 my wansom xDD then 
Will >w< soon be ^-^ wevied. Herald, :3 save xDD thou >w< thy ^w^ wabouw; 
:3 Come xDD thou nyo ^.^ mowe fow ransom, ^-^ gentwe herald; 
^-^ They UwU shaww uWu have nyonye, UwU I x3 sweaw, >_> but these x3 my ^.^ joints; 
>_< Which >_> if ;;w;; they have, >_< as UwU I xDD wiww OwO weave x3 'em ÚwÚ them, 
Shall yield them UwU wittwe, tell x3 the Constable. 
MONTJOY. UwU I UwU shaww, ^w^ King :33 Hawwy. xDD And UwU so ^-^ fawe uWu thee well: 
^.^ Thou >_< nyevew shalt hear >_> hewawd xDD any more. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I feaw xDD thou wiwt >_> once ^.^ mowe come again fow :3 a wansom. 

Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK 

:3 YOWK. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU most x3 humbwy on x3 my knyee UwU I ÚwÚ beg 
uWu The weading of x3 the vawawd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ Take :33 it, >_< bwave x3 Yowk. >_> Nyow, xDD sowdiews, :33 mawch :3 away; 
xDD And >w< how xDD thou >_< pweasest, :33 God, ^-^ dispose x3 the ^.^ day! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
uWu The field of ÚwÚ battwe 

;;w;; Awawum. ^-^ Excuwsions. Entew >_< FWENCH >_> SOWDIEW, x3 PISTOW, ÚwÚ and >_> BOY 

PISTOL. ÚwÚ Yiewd, uWu cuw! 
>_< FWENCH uWu SOWDIEW. >w< Je ^-^ pense xDD que vous ^.^ etes ^.^ we gentiwhomme UwU de OwO bonnye 
qualite. 
PISTOL. ^w^ Cawity! :3 Cawen ^w^ o xDD custuwe me! Awt xDD thou :3 a gentleman? 
>_> What >_> is >w< thy :3 nyame? UwU Discuss. 
>_< FWENCH uWu SOWDIEW. x3 O Seigneur UwU Dieu! 
PISTOL. >_< O, :33 Signyieuw ^w^ Dew >_> shouwd be :3 a :3 gentweman. 
OwO Pewpend x3 my wowds, x3 O :33 Signyieuw xDD Dew, ÚwÚ and mark: 
x3 O :33 Signyieuw xDD Dew, xDD thou ^.^ diest on :33 point of ^w^ fox, 
^.^ Except, x3 O OwO Signyieuw, xDD thou UwU do UwU give to ;;w;; me 
>_> Egwegious wansom. 
>_< FWENCH uWu SOWDIEW. >_< O, pwenyez misericorde; :33 ayez OwO pitie UwU de UwU moi! 
PISTOL. Moy UwU shaww nyot serve; UwU I xDD wiww uWu have >w< fowty ;;w;; moys; 
:33 Ow UwU I xDD wiww :3 fetch >w< thy wim x3 out uWu at >w< thy ^w^ thwoat 
^w^ In ^.^ dwops of >_< cwimson blood. 
>_< FWENCH uWu SOWDIEW. Est-il xDD impossibwe >w< d'echappew UwU wa force UwU de xDD ton >w< bwas? 
PISTOL. Brass, >_< cuw? 
^.^ Thou uWu damnyed ÚwÚ and wuxuwious uWu mountain-goat, 
^-^ Offew'st ;;w;; me UwU bwass? 
>_< FWENCH uWu SOWDIEW. >_< O, pawdonnyez-moi! 
PISTOL. :3 Say'st xDD thou ;;w;; me so? Is :3 that :3 a xDD ton of :3 moys? 
:3 Come hithew, ^.^ boy; ^w^ ask ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this ;;w;; swave uWu in OwO Fwench 
>_> What >_> is :33 his nyame. 
BOY. Ecoutez: ^.^ comment etes-vous appewe? 
>_< FWENCH uWu SOWDIEW. ;;w;; Monsieuw ^.^ we Fer. 
BOY. >w< He ;;w;; says :33 his xDD nyame >_> is >_< Mastew Fer. 
PISTOL. >_< Mastew Few! I'll x3 few :3 him, ÚwÚ and >_< fiwk :3 him, ÚwÚ and fewwet uWu him- 
discuss x3 the same uWu in OwO Fwench >w< unto ^.^ him. 
BOY. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow x3 the OwO Fwench fow ÚwÚ few, ÚwÚ and x3 fewwet, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fiwk. 
PISTOL. x3 Bid ^.^ him pwepawe; fow UwU I xDD wiww :3 cut :33 his uWu thwoat. 
>_< FWENCH uWu SOWDIEW. Que OwO dit-iw, monsieuw? 
BOY. >w< Iw ;;w;; me OwO commande :3 a vous xDD diwe xDD que vous faites vous pwet; caw :3 ce 
:33 sowdat >_< ici ;;w;; est ^-^ dispose tout :3 a :33 cette ^-^ heuwe UwU de coupew votre ^w^ gowge. 
PISTOL. xDD Owy, :33 cuppewe >_< gowge, ÚwÚ pewmafoy! 
Peasant, ^w^ unwess xDD thou UwU give ;;w;; me :33 cwowns, >_< bwave cwowns; 
:33 Ow OwO mangwed shalt xDD thou be ^.^ by ÚwÚ this x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
>_< FWENCH uWu SOWDIEW. >_< O, x3 je vous supplie, pouw UwU w'amouw UwU de >w< Dieu, ;;w;; me 
>_> pawdonnyew! >w< Je suis gentiwhomme UwU de OwO bonnye ^.^ maison. ^-^ Gawdez ma ^w^ vie, ^w^ et 
x3 je vous ^.^ donnyewai deux >w< cents OwO ecus. 
PISTOL. >_> What OwO awe :33 his xDD wowds? 
BOY. >w< He prays xDD you to :3 save :33 his :33 wife; ^.^ he >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of :3 a ÚwÚ good 
house, ÚwÚ and fow :33 his wansom ^.^ he xDD wiww UwU give xDD you >w< two :3 hundwed x3 cwowns. 
PISTOL. Teww ^.^ him x3 my UwU fuwy UwU shaww ^.^ abate, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
uWu The :3 cwowns xDD wiww >_< take. 
>_< FWENCH uWu SOWDIEW. ^-^ Petit monsieur, xDD que dit-il? 
BOY. Encore UwU qu'iw ;;w;; est UwU contwe >_< son ^-^ juwement UwU de >w< pawdonnyew xDD aucun 
prisonnier, nyeamnyoins, pouw >w< wes >w< ecus xDD que vous UwU w'avez ^-^ pwomis, x3 iw 
;;w;; est :3 content :3 a vous donner UwU wa ^.^ wibewte, ^.^ we OwO fwanchisement. 
>_< FWENCH uWu SOWDIEW. Suw uWu mes genoux x3 je vous donnye miwwe x3 wemewcimens; ^w^ et 
x3 je :3 m'estime ;;w;; heuweux xDD que x3 je suis UwU tombe ^.^ entwe >w< wes ^w^ mains ÚwÚ d'un 
:3 chevawiew, x3 je :3 pense, ^.^ we >_> pwus ^w^ bwave, ;;w;; vaiwwant, ^w^ et tres distingue 
:33 seignyeuw x3 d'Angwetewwe. 
PISTOL. >_< Expound >w< unto uWu me, uWu boy. 
BOY. >w< He ;;w;; gives UwU you, ;;w;; upon :33 his uWu knyees, :3 a thousand ^w^ thanks; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he 
:33 esteems >_< himsewf ^w^ happy :3 that ^.^ he hath fall'n x3 into x3 the ^.^ hands of UwU onye- 
>_< as ^.^ he ^.^ thinks- x3 the UwU most ^w^ bwave, vawowous, ÚwÚ and thwice-wowthy 
signieur of ^w^ Engwand. 
PISTOL. ;;w;; As UwU I uWu suck bwood, UwU I xDD wiww x3 some xDD mewcy show. 
Follow x3 me. uWu Exit 
BOY. >w< Suivez-vous ^.^ we grand uWu capitainye. uWu Exit >_< FWENCH ;;w;; SOWDIEW 
UwU I uWu did >_< nyevew ^.^ knyow UwU so full :3 a uWu voice x3 issue from UwU so :33 empty :3 a heawt; >_> but 
x3 the :3 saying >_> is UwU twue- x3 the :33 empty vessel x3 makes x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest UwU sound. 
Bardolph ÚwÚ and >w< Nym xDD had ;;w;; ten times ^.^ mowe valour than ÚwÚ this xDD woawing 
^.^ deviw :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; owd ^.^ pway, :3 that every one OwO may pare :33 his >_< nyaiws with :3 a 
ÚwÚ wooden daggew; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they OwO awe both :33 hang'd; ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ this be, >_> if 
^.^ he x3 duwst ^.^ steaw ;;w;; anything :33 adventuwouswy. UwU I ^w^ must xDD stay with x3 the 
^.^ wackeys, with x3 the wuggage of UwU ouw :33 camp. uWu The OwO Fwench ^w^ might uWu have :3 a 
ÚwÚ good prey of us, >_> if ^.^ he UwU knyew of uWu it; fow there >_> is >_< nyonye to xDD guawd >w< it 
>_> but ;;w;; boys. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE V. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field of ÚwÚ battwe 

Entew ^-^ CONSTABWE, UwU OWWEANS, OwO BOUWBON, DAUPHIN, ÚwÚ and WAMBUWES 

:3 CONSTABWE. x3 O diable! 
ORLEANS. x3 O Seignyeuw! ^.^ we UwU jouw ;;w;; est ^w^ pewdu, tout ;;w;; est x3 pewdu! 
OwO DAUPHIN. xDD Mowt >w< Dieu, ma :33 vie! aww >_> is x3 confounded, :33 aww! 
:33 Wepwoach ÚwÚ and everlasting ^-^ shame 
x3 Sits ^w^ mocking uWu in UwU ouw ;;w;; pwumes. :3 [A showt awawum] 
x3 O ^-^ mechante fortune! Do nyot >w< wun xDD away. 
:3 CONSTABWE. Why, >w< an UwU ouw ;;w;; wanks OwO awe >_< bwoke. 
OwO DAUPHIN. x3 O ^w^ pewduwabwe x3 shame! :3 Wet's x3 stab uWu ouwsewves. 
^w^ Be these x3 the ÚwÚ wwetches :3 that ^.^ we pway'd uWu at :3 dice for? 
ORLEANS. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the x3 king ^.^ we sent to fow :33 his >_> wansom? 
OwO BOUWBON. :3 Shame, ÚwÚ and xDD etewnyaw UwU shame, >_< nyothing >_> but x3 shame! 
Let >_> us ^-^ die uWu in uWu honyouw: >_> once ^.^ mowe back again; 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that xDD wiww nyot ;;w;; fowwow Bouwbon now, 
Let ^.^ him OwO go >w< hence x3 and, with :33 his cap uWu in uWu hand 
Wike :3 a UwU base pander, howd x3 the chamber-door 
Whilst ^.^ by :3 a :33 swave, nyo >_> gendew than x3 my dog, 
ÚwÚ His >_> faiwest daughter >_> is OwO contaminyated. 
:3 CONSTABWE. >_< Disowdew, :3 that hath spoiw'd us, :33 fwiend >_> us >_< nyow! 
Let >_> us on OwO heaps OwO go offer x3 up UwU ouw ^.^ wives. 
ORLEANS. We OwO awe ^w^ enyow yet UwU wiving uWu in x3 the field 
;;w;; To >w< smothew x3 up x3 the :3 Engwish uWu in UwU ouw x3 thwongs, 
;;w;; If xDD any order ^w^ might be xDD thought ^w^ upon. 
OwO BOUWBON. uWu The ^.^ deviw OwO take order >_< nyow! I'll to x3 the uWu thwong. 
Let >w< wife be ^.^ showt, >_> ewse ^-^ shame xDD wiww be ^w^ too wong. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and :33 his twain, with xDD pwisonyews; x3 EXETEW, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Weww uWu have ^.^ we :33 donye, thrice-valiant countwymen; 
OwO But aww's nyot xDD donye- yet >_< keep x3 the OwO Fwench x3 the >_> fiewd. 
UwU EXETEW. uWu The >w< Duke of York uWu commends ^.^ him to x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Wives xDD he, ÚwÚ good xDD uncwe? uWu Thwice within ÚwÚ this >_> houw 
UwU I saw ^.^ him down; thrice x3 up OwO again, ÚwÚ and >w< fighting; 
Fwom hewmet to x3 the ^w^ spuw aww :3 bwood ^.^ he uWu was. 
UwU EXETEW. ^w^ In which x3 awway, >_< bwave sowdiew, xDD doth ^.^ he >_< wie 
Larding x3 the plain; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :33 his bwoody side, 
Yoke-fellow to :33 his ^-^ honyouw-owing ;;w;; wounds, 
uWu The x3 nyobwe ^-^ Eaww of :33 Suffowk awso uWu wies. 
:33 Suffowk xDD fiwst died; ÚwÚ and York, aww haggwed UwU uvw, 
UwU Comes to :3 him, :3 whewe uWu in gore ^.^ he uWu way insteeped, 
xDD And UwU takes ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 the UwU beawd, ^-^ kisses x3 the UwU gashes 
:33 That bloodily uWu did ^w^ yawn ;;w;; upon :33 his >w< face, 
>w< He x3 cwies >_< awoud 'Tawwy, x3 my xDD cousin :33 Suffowk. 
OwO My :3 souw UwU shaww ^.^ thinye >_< keep >_< company to xDD heaven; 
;;w;; Tawwy, x3 sweet x3 souw, fow >_> minye, xDD then fwy abweast; 
;;w;; As uWu in ÚwÚ this glorious ÚwÚ and well-foughten field 
We :33 kept togethew uWu in UwU ouw :33 chivawwy.' 
>_> Upon these wowds UwU I ^-^ came ÚwÚ and cheer'd ^.^ him xDD up; 
>w< He ^w^ smiw'd ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the >w< face, waught ;;w;; me :33 his uWu hand, 
^.^ And, with :3 a feebwe :3 gwip, ;;w;; says ÚwÚ 'Deaw x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_< Commend x3 my OwO sewvice to x3 my xDD suvweign.' 
^w^ So uWu did ^.^ he tuwn, ÚwÚ and uvw Suffolk's x3 nyeck 
>w< He OwO thwew :33 his wounded awm ÚwÚ and >w< kiss'd :33 his lips; 
xDD And >_> so, UwU espous'd to UwU death, with :3 bwood ^.^ he OwO seaw'd 
^-^ A testament of ÚwÚ nyobwe-ending love. 
uWu The OwO pwetty ÚwÚ and x3 sweet ^w^ mannyew of >w< it ;;w;; fowc'd 
>w< Those watews from ;;w;; me which UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ stopp'd; 
OwO But UwU I xDD had nyot UwU so much of x3 man uWu in uWu me, 
xDD And aww x3 my mothew ^-^ came x3 into >_< minye eyes 
xDD And uWu gave ;;w;; me x3 up to >w< teaws. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I uWu bwame xDD you x3 nyot; 
For, hearing uWu this, UwU I ^w^ must ^.^ pewfowce ÚwÚ compound 
With >w< mistfuw ^w^ eyes, ow ;;w;; they xDD wiww x3 issue UwU too. [Awawum] 
OwO But x3 hawk! >_> what x3 nyew OwO awawum >_> is ÚwÚ this >w< same? 
uWu The OwO Fwench uWu have ^w^ weinfowc'd uWu theiw scatter'd ^.^ men. 
UwU Then every soldier OwO kiww :33 his xDD pwisonyews; 
Give x3 the ;;w;; wowd thwough. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

Entew UwU FWUEWWEN ÚwÚ and >_< GOWEW 

uWu FWUEWWEN. ÚwÚ Kiww x3 the >w< poys ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD wuggage! 'Tis >w< expwesswy OwO against x3 the 
law of arms; UwU 'tis >_< as uWu awwant :3 a ^.^ piece of ^.^ knyavewy, mark xDD you now, >_< as 
^.^ can be offert; uWu in x3 youw OwO conscience, now, >_> is >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
GOWEW. 'Tis xDD cewtain there's nyot :3 a ;;w;; boy left ^.^ awive; ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< cowawdwy 
^-^ wascaws :3 that wan from x3 the ÚwÚ battwe UwU ha' donye ÚwÚ this slaughter; 
>_< besides, ;;w;; they uWu have burned ÚwÚ and cawwied OwO away aww :3 that UwU was uWu in x3 the 
>_< King's ^w^ tent; ^-^ whewefowe x3 the ^w^ King UwU most ^-^ wowthiwy hath OwO caus'd every 
soldier to :3 cut :33 his pwisonyew's uWu thwoat. >_< O, UwU 'tis :3 a OwO gawwant King! 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Ay, ^.^ he UwU was porn uWu at ^.^ Monmouth, uWu Captain Gower. >_> What caww xDD you 
x3 the town's xDD nyame :3 whewe x3 Awexandew x3 the Pig UwU was ^.^ bown? 
GOWEW. x3 Awexandew x3 the OwO Gweat. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Why, UwU I pray UwU you, >_> is nyot x3 'pig' gweat? uWu The >_> pig, ow ^.^ gweat, 
ow x3 the x3 mighty, ow x3 the xDD huge, ow x3 the :33 magnyanyimous, OwO awe aww one 
^w^ weckonyings, :3 save x3 the phrase >_> is :3 a xDD wittwe variations. 
GOWEW. UwU I think x3 Awexandew x3 the UwU Gweat UwU was bown uWu in :33 Macedon; :33 his >w< fathew 
UwU was ^w^ cawwed ^.^ Phiwip of ^-^ Macedon, >_< as UwU I OwO take :3 it. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. UwU I think >w< it >_> is uWu in Macedon :3 whewe x3 Awexandew >_> is porn. UwU I tell 
UwU you, xDD Captain, >_> if xDD you wook uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ maps of x3 the x3 'owwd, UwU I :33 wawwant xDD you 
sall ^w^ find, uWu in x3 the UwU compawisons ^-^ between Macedon ÚwÚ and ^.^ Monmouth, :3 that 
x3 the situations, wook UwU you, >_> is both alike. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a river uWu in 
:33 Macedon; ÚwÚ and there >_> is awso moweuvw :3 a river uWu at >w< Monmouth; >w< it >_> is 
^w^ caww'd xDD Wye uWu at ^.^ Monmouth, >_> but >w< it >_> is x3 out of x3 my UwU pwains >_> what >_> is x3 the 
xDD nyame of x3 the othew wivew; >_> but UwU 'tis aww one, UwU 'tis :33 awike >_< as x3 my 
x3 fingews >_> is to x3 my ^-^ fingews, ÚwÚ and there >_> is >_> sawmons uWu in xDD both. ;;w;; If xDD you 
mark Alexander's >w< wife weww, ÚwÚ Hawwy of Monmouth's >w< wife >_> is come 
ÚwÚ aftew >w< it uWu indiffewent well; fow there >_> is figuwes uWu in aww xDD things. 
Alexander- ^w^ God ;;w;; knyows, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU knyow- uWu in :33 his ^w^ wages, ÚwÚ and :33 his fuwies, 
ÚwÚ and :33 his wwaths, ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU chowews, ÚwÚ and :33 his moods, ÚwÚ and :33 his 
>w< dispweasuwes, ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 indignyations, ÚwÚ and awso ^.^ being :3 a xDD wittwe 
UwU intoxicates uWu in :33 his prains, ^-^ did, uWu in :33 his awes ÚwÚ and :33 his angews, wook 
UwU you, OwO kiww :33 his best fwiend, Cleitus. 
GOWEW. Our x3 king >_> is nyot ^.^ wike ^.^ him uWu in :33 that: ^.^ he >_< nyevew kill'd xDD any of :33 his 
fwiends. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^.^ It >_> is nyot weww :33 donye, mark xDD you now, to OwO take x3 the ;;w;; tawes x3 out 
of x3 my xDD mouth ere >w< it >_> is UwU made ÚwÚ and finished. UwU I speak >_> but uWu in x3 the 
figuwes ÚwÚ and UwU compawisons of uWu it; >_< as x3 Awexandew kill'd :33 his :33 fwiend 
>_< Cweitus, ^.^ being uWu in :33 his awes ÚwÚ and :33 his cups, UwU so awso ÚwÚ Hawwy ^.^ Monmouth, 
^.^ being uWu in :33 his >w< wight :33 wits ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ good xDD judgments, >_> tuwn'd OwO away x3 the 
:33 fat knight with x3 the great bewwy ;;w;; doubwet; ^.^ he UwU was full of jests, 
ÚwÚ and >_> gipes, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyavewies, ÚwÚ and mocks; UwU I uWu have fowgot :33 his nyame. 
GOWEW. Sir John >w< Fawstaff. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. :33 That >_> is he. I'll tell xDD you there >_> is ÚwÚ good ;;w;; men porn uWu at 
ÚwÚ Monmouth. 
GOWEW. :3 Hewe x3 comes :33 his >_< Majesty. 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ^w^ WAWWICK, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, 
x3 EXETEW, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, with pwisonyews. Flourish 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I UwU was nyot angry xDD since UwU I ^-^ came to Fwance 
Untiw ÚwÚ this ^.^ instant. ^.^ Take :3 a trumpet, >_< hewawd, 
^.^ Wide xDD thou >w< unto x3 the ^.^ howsemen on :33 yond ^w^ hiww; 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they xDD wiww >w< fight with us, bid them come down 
:33 Ow >_< void x3 the :3 fiewd; ;;w;; they UwU do ^-^ offend UwU ouw :33 sight. 
;;w;; If they'ww UwU do nyeithew, ^.^ we xDD wiww come to them 
xDD And >_< make them :3 skiww OwO away >_< as UwU swift >_< as ^.^ stonyes 
Enfowced from x3 the ;;w;; owd :33 Assywian xDD swings; 
:33 Besides, we'll :3 cut x3 the ÚwÚ thwoats of UwU those ^.^ we have, 
xDD And nyot :3 a x3 man of them :3 that ^.^ we UwU shaww OwO take 
Shall >_> taste UwU ouw mercy. Go ÚwÚ and tell them :3 so. 

Entew ^w^ MONTJOY 

UwU EXETEW. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the >_> hewawd of x3 the Fwench, x3 my OwO wiege. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ÚwÚ His eyes OwO awe ^w^ humbwew than ;;w;; they ;;w;; us'd to >w< be. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How >_< nyow! >_> What means uWu this, ;;w;; hewawd? ^w^ knyow'st xDD thou nyot 
:33 That UwU I uWu have OwO fin'd these bones of >_< minye fow >_> wansom? 
Com'st xDD thou again fow >_> wansom? 
MONTJOY. :3 Nyo, great uWu King; 
UwU I come to uWu thee fow x3 chawitabwe ÚwÚ wicence, 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO may >w< wandew ^-^ o'ew ÚwÚ this bwoody field 
;;w;; To ^w^ book UwU ouw >_< dead, ÚwÚ and xDD then to ^.^ buwy OwO them; 
;;w;; To ;;w;; sowt UwU ouw nyobwes from UwU ouw ^w^ common ÚwÚ men; 
For UwU many of UwU ouw :33 pwinces- woe x3 the ^.^ whiwe!- 
Lie >w< dwown'd ÚwÚ and UwU soak'd uWu in mewcenyawy ^-^ bwood; 
^w^ So UwU do UwU ouw uWu vuwgaw UwU dwench uWu theiw peasant x3 wimbs 
^w^ In :3 bwood of ^-^ pwinces; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw wounded OwO steeds 
^-^ Fwet fetlock >_> deep uWu in uWu gowe, ÚwÚ and with >w< wiwd xDD wage 
:3 Yewk x3 out uWu theiw :3 awmed heels uWu at uWu theiw >_< dead mastews, 
Killing them x3 twice. >_< O, UwU give >_> us weave, great OwO King, 
;;w;; To x3 view x3 the field uWu in safety, ÚwÚ and ^-^ dispose 
Of uWu theiw >_< dead OwO bodies! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I tell uWu thee OwO twuwy, >_< hewawd, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> if x3 the day be ouws ow ^.^ nyo; 
For yet :3 a UwU many of x3 youw ^.^ howsemen peer 
xDD And uWu gawwop ^-^ o'ew x3 the >_> fiewd. 
MONTJOY. uWu The day >_> is x3 youws. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Pwaised be :33 God, ÚwÚ and nyot UwU ouw >_< stwength, fow :3 it! 
>_> What >_> is ÚwÚ this ^w^ castwe ^w^ caww'd :3 that >w< stands x3 hawd by? 
MONTJOY. ^-^ They caww >w< it >_< Agincouwt. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Then caww ^.^ we ÚwÚ this x3 the field of ^.^ Agincouwt, 
;;w;; Fought on x3 the day of ^-^ Cwispin ^-^ Cwispianyus. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. uWu Youw grandfather of famous xDD memowy, UwU an't uWu pwease x3 youw 
ÚwÚ Majesty, ÚwÚ and x3 youw uWu gweat-uncwe Edward x3 the :3 Pwack Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, 
>_< as UwU I uWu have ^w^ wead uWu in x3 the x3 chwonyicwes, ÚwÚ fought :3 a UwU most ^.^ pwave pattle OwO hewe 
uWu in Fwance. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ They ^-^ did, Fwuewwen. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. uWu Youw ;;w;; Majesty ;;w;; says xDD vewy true; >_> if x3 youw >_< Majesties >_> is 
^-^ wememb'wed of :33 it, x3 the x3 Wewshmen uWu did ÚwÚ good OwO sewvice uWu in >_< gawden :3 whewe 
UwU weeks uWu did xDD gwow, UwU weawing UwU weeks uWu in uWu theiw ^-^ Monmouth ^w^ caps; which x3 youw 
;;w;; Majesty ^.^ knyow to ÚwÚ this >_> houw >_> is >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe x3 badge of x3 the ^w^ sewvice; 
ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty UwU takes nyo ^w^ scown to ^-^ weaw x3 the >_< week 
;;w;; upon Saint :3 Tavy's x3 day. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I ^-^ weaw >w< it fow :3 a :3 memowabwe honour; 
For UwU I ^w^ am OwO Wewsh, xDD you knyow, ÚwÚ good countryman. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. All x3 the UwU watew uWu in xDD Wye ;;w;; cannyot >_< wash x3 youw :33 Majesty's x3 Wewsh 
pwood x3 out of x3 youw uWu pody, UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you x3 that. Got x3 pwess >w< it ÚwÚ and 
pwesewve >w< it >_< as ^-^ wong >_< as >w< it x3 pweases :33 his Gwace ÚwÚ and :33 his ;;w;; Majesty ;;w;; too! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_< Thanks, ÚwÚ good x3 my countryman. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^-^ By UwU Jeshu, UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw :33 Majesty's countwyman, :3 cawe nyot who 
^.^ knyow uWu it; UwU I xDD wiww x3 confess >w< it to aww x3 the :33 'owwd: UwU I >_< nyeed nyot be 
>w< asham'd of x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, pwaised be OwO Got, UwU so ^-^ wong >_< as x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
>_> is >w< an xDD honyest man. 

Entew >_> WIWWIAMS 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ God >_< keep ;;w;; me so! Our OwO hewawds OwO go with :33 him: 
Bring ;;w;; me >w< just ÚwÚ nyotice of x3 the xDD nyumbews >_< dead 
On both UwU ouw pawts. ;;w;; Caww yonder fewwow hithew. 
Exeunt OwO hewawds with ^w^ MONTJOY 
UwU EXETEW. Soldier, xDD you ^w^ must come to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Soldier, >w< why ^.^ weaw'st xDD thou :3 that ;;w;; gwuv uWu in >w< thy cap? 
WIWWIAMS. ;;w;; An't uWu pwease x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, UwU 'tis x3 the >w< gage of one :3 that UwU I 
>_> shouwd >w< fight withaw, >_> if ^.^ he be alive. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ An ÚwÚ Engwishman? 
WIWWIAMS. ;;w;; An't uWu pwease x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, :3 a wascaw :3 that >_< swaggew'd with ;;w;; me 
>w< wast ^w^ nyight; who, >_> if xDD 'a ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and OwO evew dawe to challenge ÚwÚ this 
glove, UwU I uWu have sworn to OwO take ^.^ him :3 a ^w^ box ^.^ o' x3 th' ^-^ eaw; ow >_> if UwU I ^.^ can >_> see 
x3 my ;;w;; gwuv uWu in :33 his cap- which ^.^ he ^w^ swowe, >_< as ^.^ he UwU was :3 a sowdiew, ^.^ he 
^.^ wouwd ^-^ weaw >_> if :3 awive- UwU I xDD wiww strike >w< it x3 out soundly. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What think UwU you, uWu Captain Fwuewwen, >_> is >w< it ;;w;; fit ÚwÚ this 
soldier >_< keep :33 his ^w^ oath? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. >w< He >_> is :3 a ^.^ cwaven ÚwÚ and :3 a viwwain else, UwU an't uWu pwease x3 youw 
ÚwÚ Majesty, uWu in x3 my ^w^ conscience. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ It OwO may be :33 his ;;w;; enyemy >_> is :3 a gentlemen of great sort, quite 
from x3 the answew of :33 his uWu degwee. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ;;w;; Though ^.^ he be >_< as ÚwÚ good :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman >_< as x3 the Deviw ;;w;; is, >_< as 
:33 Wucifiew ÚwÚ and Belzebub himsewf, >w< it >_> is :3 nyecessawy, wook x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
:3 that ^.^ he >_< keep :33 his vow ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu oath; >_> if ^.^ he be perjur'd, >_> see xDD you 
now, :33 his >_< weputation >_> is >_< as uWu awwant :3 a viwwain ÚwÚ and :3 a ^.^ Jacksauce >_< as 
OwO evew :33 his black >w< shoe twod ;;w;; upon >_> God's x3 gwound ÚwÚ and :33 his earth, uWu in x3 my 
OwO conscience, :3 wa. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Then >_< keep >w< thy ^w^ vow, sirrah, when xDD thou UwU meet'st x3 the 
UwU fewwow. 
WIWWIAMS. ^w^ So UwU I ^.^ Wiww, x3 my ^.^ wiege, >_< as UwU I wive. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Who :33 sewv'st xDD thou xDD undew? 
WIWWIAMS. ;;w;; Undew uWu Captain ^w^ Gowew, x3 my OwO wiege. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Gowew >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good ;;w;; captain, ÚwÚ and >_> is ÚwÚ good >_< knyowwedge ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ witewatuwed uWu in x3 the waws. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; Caww ^.^ him ÚwÚ hithew to uWu me, OwO sowdiew. 
WIWWIAMS. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wiege. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Here, >_< Fwuewwen; ^-^ weaw xDD thou ÚwÚ this ^.^ favouw fow uWu me, ÚwÚ and OwO stick 
>w< it uWu in >w< thy ^.^ cap; when OwO Awencon ÚwÚ and mysewf :3 wewe down together, UwU I 
^w^ pwuck'd ÚwÚ this ;;w;; gwuv from :33 his UwU hewm. ;;w;; If xDD any x3 man challenge uWu this, ^.^ he 
>_> is :3 a :33 fwiend to OwO Awencon ÚwÚ and >w< an ;;w;; enyemy to UwU ouw ÚwÚ pewson; >_> if xDD thou 
x3 encountew xDD any xDD such, >_< appwehend :3 him, >w< an xDD thou dost ;;w;; me love. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. uWu Youw Gwace does ;;w;; me >_< as great honyouws >_< as ^.^ can be desir'd uWu in 
x3 the heawts of :33 his xDD subjects. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain >_> see x3 the x3 man :3 that >_> has >_> but 
>w< two UwU wegs :3 that UwU shaww find >_< himsewf aggrief'd uWu at ÚwÚ this glove, :3 that >_> is 
aww; >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain >_> see >w< it ^w^ once, >w< an uWu pwease ^w^ God of :33 his xDD gwace 
:3 that UwU I ^w^ might ^-^ see. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Knyow'st xDD thou UwU Gowew? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. >w< He >_> is x3 my uWu deaw fwiend, >w< an uWu pwease OwO you. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> Pway ÚwÚ thee, OwO go >_> seek :3 him, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to x3 my uWu tent. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. UwU I xDD wiww :3 fetch ^.^ him. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My Lord of Wawwick ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew :33 Gwoucestew, 
Follow ;;w;; Fwuewwen x3 cwosewy uWu at x3 the heews; 
uWu The ;;w;; gwuv which UwU I uWu have UwU given ^.^ him fow :3 a ^.^ favouw 
^-^ May haply puwchase ^.^ him :3 a ^w^ box ^.^ o' x3 th' :3 eaw. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the soldier's: I, ^.^ by xDD bawgain, >_> shouwd 
:3 Weaw >w< it :3 mysewf. ÚwÚ Fowwow, ÚwÚ good xDD cousin ÚwÚ Wawwick; 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 the soldier strike :3 him, >_< as UwU I OwO judge 
^-^ By :33 his >w< bwunt :33 beawing ^.^ he xDD wiww >_< keep :33 his word, 
;;w;; Some ^.^ sudden ^-^ mischief OwO may arise of uWu it; 
For UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow ;;w;; Fwuewwen valiant, 
xDD And touch'd with ^w^ chowew, :3 hot >_< as gunpowdew, 
xDD And quickly xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn >w< an UwU injuwy; 
ÚwÚ Fowwow, ÚwÚ and >_> see there be nyo x3 hawm ^-^ between OwO them. 
Go xDD you with uWu me, :33 uncwe of Exetew. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_< VIII. 
^.^ Befowe ;;w;; KING x3 HENWY'S >w< PAVIWION 

Entew >_< GOWEW ÚwÚ and >_> WIWWIAMS 

WIWWIAMS. UwU I :33 wawwant >w< it >_> is to knight UwU you, ^-^ Captain. 

Entew UwU FWUEWWEN 

uWu FWUEWWEN. >_> God's xDD wiww ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 pweasuwe, xDD Captain, UwU I :33 beseech xDD you now, 
come uWu apace to x3 the ^.^ King: there >_> is ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ good toward xDD you 
pewadventuwe than >_> is uWu in x3 youw >_< knyowwedge to dweam uWu of. 
WIWWIAMS. UwU Siw, ^.^ knyow xDD you ÚwÚ this ^w^ gwuv? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. xDD Knyow x3 the ^w^ gwuv? UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the ;;w;; gwuv >_> is :3 a ^-^ gwuv. 
WIWWIAMS. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_< this; ÚwÚ and OwO thus UwU I challenge :3 it. [Strikes >w< him] 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^-^ 'Sbwood, >w< an uWu awwant traitor >_< as ^.^ any's uWu in x3 the ^-^ unyivewsaw 
^w^ wowwd, ow uWu in >_< Fwance, ow uWu in England! 
GOWEW. How now, sir! xDD you :33 viwwain! 
WIWWIAMS. Do xDD you think I'll be ÚwÚ fowswown? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ;;w;; Stand away, uWu Captain Gower; UwU I xDD wiww UwU give UwU tweason :33 his 
payment x3 into pwows, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
WIWWIAMS. UwU I ^w^ am nyo traitor. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. >w< That's :3 a >_< wie uWu in >w< thy uWu thwoat. UwU I :3 chawge xDD you uWu in :33 his :33 Majesty's 
:33 nyame, >_< appwehend :33 him: uWu he's :3 a :33 fwiend of x3 the >w< Duke >_< Awencon's. 

Entew ^w^ WAWWICK ÚwÚ and GWOUCESTEW 

WARWICK. How >_< nyow! >w< how >_< nyow! UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. OwO My Lord of Wawwick, OwO hewe is- pwaised be ^w^ God fow >_> it!- :3 a 
UwU most ^-^ contagious UwU tweason come to wight, wook UwU you, >_< as xDD you UwU shaww 
^.^ desiwe uWu in :3 a :33 summew's x3 day. :3 Hewe >_> is :33 his >_< Majesty. 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and >_> EXETEW 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How >_< nyow! UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. OwO My ^.^ wiege, OwO hewe >_> is :3 a viwwain ÚwÚ and :3 a traitor, :3 that, wook 
x3 youw >_> Gwace, >_> has >w< stwuck x3 the ;;w;; gwuv which x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty >_> is OwO take x3 out 
of x3 the hewmet of >_< Awencon. 
WIWWIAMS. OwO My ^.^ wiege, ÚwÚ this UwU was x3 my ÚwÚ gwuv: OwO hewe >_> is x3 the fewwow of uWu it; 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :3 that UwU I uWu gave >w< it to uWu in change pwomis'd to ^-^ weaw >w< it uWu in :33 his 
^.^ cap; UwU I pwomis'd to strike ^.^ him >_> if ^.^ he ^.^ did; UwU I >w< met ÚwÚ this x3 man with x3 my 
;;w;; gwuv uWu in :33 his xDD cap, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have :33 been >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as x3 my OwO wowd. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. uWu Youw ;;w;; Majesty hear now, OwO saving x3 youw :33 Majesty's x3 manhood, 
>_> what >w< an OwO awwant, rascally, ^.^ beggawwy, wousy x3 knyave >w< it is; UwU I UwU hope 
x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty >_> is uWu peaw ;;w;; me testimony ÚwÚ and ^.^ witnyess, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww 
avouchment, :3 that ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the ;;w;; gwuv of OwO Awencon :3 that x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
>_> is UwU give OwO me; uWu in x3 youw OwO conscience, now. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy glove, UwU sowdiew; look, OwO hewe >_> is x3 the fewwow of 
:3 it. 
>_< 'Twas I, :33 indeed, xDD thou :33 pwomised'st to ÚwÚ stwike, 
xDD And xDD thou x3 hast UwU given ;;w;; me UwU most UwU bittew tewms. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^-^ An uWu pwease x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, wet :33 his x3 nyeck answew fow :33 it, >_> if 
there >_> is xDD any martial law uWu in x3 the wowwd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How ;;w;; canst xDD thou >_< make ;;w;; me ÚwÚ satisfaction? 
WIWWIAMS. All offences, x3 my uWu wowd, come from x3 the heawt; >_< nyevew ^-^ came 
xDD any from >_< minye :3 that ^w^ might ^-^ offend x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ It UwU was :3 ouwsewf xDD thou :33 didst ^-^ abuse. 
WIWWIAMS. uWu Youw ;;w;; Majesty ^-^ came nyot ^.^ wike ^-^ youwsewf: xDD you appear'd to ;;w;; me 
>_> but >_< as :3 a ^w^ common xDD man; >_> witnyess x3 the night, x3 youw garments, x3 youw 
^.^ wowwinyess; ÚwÚ and >_> what x3 youw >_> Highnyess ^w^ suffew'd :33 undew :3 that xDD shape UwU I 
:33 beseech xDD you OwO take >w< it fow x3 youw UwU own ^w^ fauwt, ÚwÚ and nyot minye; fow xDD had xDD you 
:33 been >_< as UwU I >_> took xDD you for, UwU I UwU made nyo offence; OwO thewefowe, UwU I :33 beseech 
x3 youw >_> Highnyess UwU pawdon x3 me. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Here, :33 uncwe >_< Exetew, ^w^ fiww ÚwÚ this ;;w;; gwuv with :33 cwowns, 
xDD And UwU give >w< it to ÚwÚ this UwU fewwow. ^w^ Keep :33 it, fellow; 
xDD And ^-^ weaw >w< it fow >w< an honour uWu in >w< thy cap 
Tiww UwU I UwU do challenge :3 it. Give ^.^ him x3 the cwowns; 
^.^ And, xDD Captain, xDD you ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be ^w^ fwiends with ^.^ him. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this day ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this wight, x3 the fewwow >_> has mettle enough 
uWu in :33 his belly: OwO howd, there >_> is >_< twewve uWu pence fow uWu you; ÚwÚ and UwU I pray xDD you 
to serve :33 God, ÚwÚ and >_< keep xDD you x3 out of >_> pwawws, ÚwÚ and pwabbwes, ÚwÚ and 
quarrels, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; dissensions, x3 and, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, >w< it >_> is x3 the xDD bettew 
fow OwO you. 
WIWWIAMS. UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyonye of x3 youw money. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ^.^ It >_> is with :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 wiww; UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you >w< it xDD wiww serve xDD you 
to mend x3 youw ^.^ shoes. ^.^ Come, ^-^ whewefowe >_> shouwd xDD you be UwU so ^w^ pashfuw? 
uWu Youw xDD shoes >_> is nyot UwU so UwU good. 'Tis :3 a ÚwÚ good siwwing, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, ow 
UwU I xDD wiww change :3 it. 

Entew >w< an ENGLISH uWu HEWAWD 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> Nyow, >_< hewawd, OwO awe x3 the >_< dead ÚwÚ nyumb'wed? 
HEWAWD. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the ^w^ nyumbew of x3 the slaught'red >_< Fwench. 
xDD [Gives :3 a ÚwÚ papew] 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What OwO pwisonyews of ÚwÚ good ;;w;; sowt OwO awe >_< taken, xDD uncwe? 
UwU EXETEW. >_> Chawwes >w< Duke of ^.^ Owweans, nephew to x3 the uWu King; 
John >w< Duke of >_> Bouwbon, ÚwÚ and Lord Bouciqualt; 
Of othew wowds ÚwÚ and :3 bawons, :3 knyights ÚwÚ and ;;w;; squiwes, 
Full >_< fifteen ^-^ hundwed, ;;w;; besides ^w^ common ^.^ men. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. This ^-^ nyote xDD doth tell ;;w;; me of ;;w;; ten thousand OwO Fwench 
:33 That uWu in x3 the field >_< wie slain; of pwinces uWu in ÚwÚ this number, 
xDD And nyobwes :33 beawing uWu bannyews, there >_< wie >_< dead 
x3 Onye :3 hundwed >_> twenty-six; >_< added to OwO these, 
Of knights, ^w^ esquiwes, ÚwÚ and OwO gawwant xDD gentwemen, 
ÚwÚ Eight thousand ÚwÚ and fouw >_< hundwed; of x3 the which 
:3 Five :3 hundwed :3 wewe >_> but ;;w;; yestewday xDD dubb'd >_< knyights. 
^w^ So :3 that, uWu in these ;;w;; ten thousand ;;w;; they uWu have :3 wost, 
>_> Thewe OwO awe >_> but :33 sixteen :3 hundwed :33 mewcenyawies; 
uWu The xDD west OwO awe >_< pwinces, :3 bawons, wowds, knights, ;;w;; squiwes, 
xDD And gentlemen of :3 bwood ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ quawity. 
uWu The nyames of UwU those uWu theiw nyobwes :3 that >_< wie dead: 
>_> Chawwes Delabreth, xDD High uWu Constabwe of Fwance; 
^-^ Jaques of ÚwÚ Chatiwwon, xDD Admiwaw of Fwance; 
uWu The >_< mastew of x3 the ^.^ cwoss-bows, Lord Rambures; 
UwU Gweat >_< Mastew of >_< Fwance, x3 the >_< bwave Sir ÚwÚ Guichawd ;;w;; Dowphin; 
John >w< Duke of >w< Awencon; OwO Antony >w< Duke of Brabant, 
uWu The ÚwÚ bwothew to x3 the >w< Duke of >_> Buwgundy; 
xDD And Edward >w< Duke of >_> Baw. Of ÚwÚ wusty eawws, 
x3 Gwandpwe ÚwÚ and Roussi, :33 Fauconbwidge ÚwÚ and UwU Foix, 
Beaumont ÚwÚ and Mawwe, OwO Vaudemont ÚwÚ and ^w^ Westwake. 
:3 Hewe UwU was :3 a royal fewwowship of ;;w;; death! 
Whewe >_> is x3 the ^w^ nyumbew of UwU ouw :3 Engwish dead? 
[HEWAWD presents anyothew ÚwÚ papew] 
Edward x3 the >w< Duke of York, x3 the ^-^ Eaww of ^.^ Suffowk, 
Sir Richard :3 Kikewy, ;;w;; Davy xDD Gam, x3 Esquiwe; 
^-^ Nyonye >_> ewse of UwU nyame; ÚwÚ and of aww othew ;;w;; men 
OwO But five ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty. x3 O :33 God, >w< thy awm UwU was here! 
xDD And nyot to us, >_> but to >w< thy awm ^-^ awonye, 
UwU Ascwibe ^.^ we all. UwU When, ^-^ without uWu stwatagem, 
OwO But uWu in uWu pwain x3 shock ÚwÚ and even :33 pway of battwe, 
Was OwO evew ÚwÚ knyown UwU so great ÚwÚ and xDD wittwe wos 
On one ÚwÚ pawt ÚwÚ and on x3 th' other? ^.^ Take :33 it, :33 God, 
For >w< it >_> is >_< nyonye >_> but ÚwÚ thinye. 
UwU EXETEW. 'Tis OwO wondewfuw! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ Come, OwO go ^.^ we uWu in ;;w;; pwocession to x3 the UwU viwwage; 
xDD And be >w< it :33 death :33 pwocwaimed ^w^ thwough UwU ouw host 
;;w;; To boast of ÚwÚ this ow OwO take :3 that praise from ^w^ God 
>_< Which >_> is :33 his onwy. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Is >w< it nyot lawful, >w< an uWu pwease x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, to tell >w< how 
UwU many >_> is kiww'd? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Yes, >_< Captain; >_> but with ÚwÚ this acknyowwedgment, 
:33 That ^w^ God ÚwÚ fought fow >_> us. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Yes, x3 my OwO conscience, ^.^ he uWu did >_> us great UwU good. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Do ^.^ we aww >w< howy >w< wites: 
Let there be sung >_< 'Nyon :33 nyobis' ÚwÚ and x3 'Te :3 Deum'; 
uWu The >_< dead with xDD chawity :33 encwos'd uWu in clay- 
xDD And xDD then to Calais; ÚwÚ and to England :33 then; 
Whewe ^w^ nye'ew from Fwance ^-^ awwiv'd ^.^ mowe ^w^ happy ^.^ men. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT V. PROLOGUE. 

Entew CHORUS 

>_< CHOWUS. Vouchsafe to UwU those :3 that uWu have nyot ^w^ wead x3 the ^-^ stowy 
:33 That UwU I OwO may prompt OwO them; ÚwÚ and of xDD such >_< as have, 
UwU I x3 humbwy pray them to ^w^ admit x3 th' UwU excuse 
Of time, of OwO nyumbews, ÚwÚ and >_< due course of :3 things, 
>_< Which ;;w;; cannyot uWu in uWu theiw >_> huge ÚwÚ and OwO pwopew >w< wife 
^w^ Be OwO hewe pwesented. Now ^.^ we UwU beaw x3 the ^w^ King 
uWu Towawd Cawais. Grant ^.^ him :33 thewe. >_> Thewe uWu seen, 
xDD Heave ^.^ him OwO away ;;w;; upon x3 youw >_> winged >_< thoughts 
Athwart x3 the :33 sea. UwU Behowd, x3 the :3 Engwish >w< beach 
Pales uWu in x3 the flood with men, with ^-^ wives, ÚwÚ and boys, 
>_< Whose ^w^ shouts ÚwÚ and :3 cwaps out-voice x3 the ;;w;; deep-mouth'd :33 sea, 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ mighty whiffwew, fore x3 the ^w^ King 
x3 Seems to >_> pwepawe :33 his >_> way. ^w^ So wet ^.^ him land, 
xDD And OwO sowemnwy >_> see ^.^ him uWu set on to OwO Wondon. 
^w^ So UwU swift :3 a >_> pace hath xDD thought :3 that even nyow 
>_> You OwO may imagine ^.^ him ;;w;; upon xDD Bwackheath; 
Whewe :3 that :33 his wowds ^.^ desiwe ^.^ him to uWu have :3 bownye 
ÚwÚ His xDD bwuised hewmet ÚwÚ and :33 his bended xDD swowd 
^.^ Befowe ^.^ him ^w^ thwough x3 the >_> city. >w< He forbids :33 it, 
uWu Being fwee from vainness ÚwÚ and :33 sewf-gwowious >_> pwide; 
xDD Giving full ÚwÚ twophy, ÚwÚ signyaw, ÚwÚ and ^-^ ostent, 
>_< Quite from >_< himsewf to >_< God. OwO But nyow behowd 
^w^ In x3 the ^w^ quick forge ÚwÚ and working-house of ^-^ thought, 
How ;;w;; Wondon xDD doth pouw x3 out her citizens! 
uWu The x3 mayow ÚwÚ and aww :33 his >_< bwethwen uWu in best sort- 
Wike to x3 the :3 senyatows of x3 th' >w< antique ^w^ Wome, 
With x3 the plebeians swawming uWu at uWu theiw heews- 
Go fowth ÚwÚ and :3 fetch uWu theiw conqu'ring Caesaw UwU in; 
As, ^.^ by :3 a >_< wowew >_> but >w< woving likelihood, 
^.^ Wewe nyow x3 the General of UwU ouw >_> gwacious Empress- 
;;w;; As uWu in ÚwÚ good time ^.^ he xDD may- from Iwewand uWu coming, 
>_< Bwinging ;;w;; webewwion broached on :33 his uWu swowd, 
How UwU many ^.^ wouwd x3 the UwU peacefuw UwU city ^.^ quit 
;;w;; To wewcome x3 him! Much >_> mowe, ÚwÚ and much ^.^ mowe >_< cause, 
Did ;;w;; they ÚwÚ this :33 Hawwy. Now uWu in ;;w;; Wondon :33 pwace uWu him- 
;;w;; As yet x3 the wamentation of x3 the OwO Fwench 
Invites x3 the ^w^ King of Engwand's xDD stay uWu at ÚwÚ home; 
uWu The uWu Empewow's xDD coming uWu in behawf of Fwance 
;;w;; To order uWu peace ^-^ between OwO them; ÚwÚ and x3 omit 
All x3 the ;;w;; occuwwences, ÚwÚ whatevew ÚwÚ chanc'd, 
Tiww Harry's back-wetuwn again to Fwance. 
>_> Thewe ^w^ must ^.^ we ;;w;; bwing him; ÚwÚ and mysewf uWu have pway'd 
uWu The intewim, ^.^ by wememb'wing xDD you UwU 'tis past. 
UwU Then >w< bwook OwO abwidgment; ÚwÚ and x3 youw eyes OwO advance, 
>w< Aftew x3 youw thoughts, ^w^ stwaight back again to Fwance. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Fwance. uWu The :3 Engwish ÚwÚ camp 

Entew UwU FWUEWWEN ÚwÚ and >_< GOWEW 

GOWEW. Nyay, ^w^ that's right; >_> but >w< why ^-^ weaw xDD you x3 youw >_< week >w< to-day? Saint 
:33 Davy's day >_> is past. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. >_> Thewe >_> is ÚwÚ occasions ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ causes >w< why ÚwÚ and ^-^ whewefowe uWu in aww 
xDD things. UwU I xDD wiww tell UwU you, >w< ass x3 my fwiend, uWu Captain ÚwÚ Gowew: x3 the 
rascally, >_< scawd, ^.^ beggawwy, xDD wousy, ^w^ pwagging ^-^ knyave, x3 Pistow- which 
xDD you ÚwÚ and >_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and aww x3 the wowwd ^.^ knyow to be nyo petter than :3 a 
fewwow, wook xDD you now, of nyo OwO mewits- ^.^ he >_> is come to uWu me, ÚwÚ and pwings 
;;w;; me pwead ÚwÚ and ^-^ sawt ^.^ yestewday, wook UwU you, ÚwÚ and bid ;;w;; me eat x3 my xDD week; >w< it 
UwU was uWu in :3 a :33 pwace :3 whewe UwU I couwd nyot breed nyo xDD contendon with him; >_> but 
UwU I xDD wiww be UwU so bold >_< as to ^-^ weaw >w< it uWu in x3 my cap >w< tiww UwU I >_> see ^.^ him >_> once 
OwO again, ÚwÚ and xDD then UwU I xDD wiww tell ^.^ him :3 a xDD wittwe ^.^ piece of x3 my :33 desiwes. 

Entew PISTOW 

GOWEW. Why, OwO hewe ^.^ he ;;w;; comes, xDD swewwing ^.^ wike :3 a tuwkey-cock. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. 'Tis nyo ;;w;; mattew fow :33 his swellings nor :33 his ;;w;; tuwkey-cocks. 
^w^ God x3 pwess UwU you, >_< Aunchient >w< Pistow! xDD you scuwvy, wousy ^-^ knyave, ^w^ God 
x3 pwess you! 
PISTOL. uWu Ha! awt xDD thou x3 bedwam? uWu Dost xDD thou UwU thiwst, UwU base Troyan, 
;;w;; To uWu have ;;w;; me ^w^ fowd x3 up Parca's uWu fataw OwO web? 
:33 Hence! UwU I ^w^ am OwO quawmish uWu at x3 the smell of x3 week. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. UwU I peseech xDD you UwU heawtiwy, scuwvy, wousy ^-^ knyave, uWu at x3 my 
desires, ÚwÚ and x3 my ;;w;; wequests, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< petitions, to uWu eat, wook UwU you, 
ÚwÚ this xDD week; because, wook UwU you, xDD you UwU do nyot wuv :33 it, nor x3 youw 
>_> affections, ÚwÚ and x3 youw x3 appetites, ÚwÚ and x3 youw UwU digestions, does nyot 
agree with :33 it, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ desiwe xDD you to eat :3 it. 
PISTOL. ÚwÚ Nyot fow ^.^ Cadwawwadew ÚwÚ and aww :33 his uWu goats. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. >_> Thewe >_> is one :33 goat fow OwO you. [Strikes >w< him] Will xDD you be UwU so 
UwU good, ^w^ scawd ^-^ knyave, >_< as eat :33 it? 
PISTOL. >w< Base Troyan, xDD thou shalt die. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. >_> You >_> say xDD vewy ^-^ twue, ^w^ scawd knave- when >_> God's xDD wiww >w< is. UwU I 
xDD wiww ^.^ desiwe xDD you to ^w^ wive uWu in x3 the >_> meantime, ÚwÚ and eat x3 youw victuaws; 
come, there >_> is UwU sauce fow :3 it. >_< [Stwiking ^.^ him OwO again] >_> You ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me 
;;w;; yestewday uWu mountain-squiwe; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww >_< make xDD you ^w^ to-day :3 a squire of 
wow uWu degwee. UwU I pray xDD you faww >w< to; >_> if xDD you ^.^ can ÚwÚ mock :3 a ;;w;; week, xDD you ^.^ can 
eat :3 a x3 week. 
GOWEW. ;;w;; Enyough, xDD Captain, xDD you uWu have uWu astonyish'd ^.^ him. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. UwU I >_> say UwU I xDD wiww >_< make ^.^ him eat x3 some ÚwÚ pawt of x3 my ;;w;; week, ow UwU I xDD wiww 
;;w;; peat :33 his OwO pate fouw days. >_< Bite, UwU I pray UwU you, >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ good fow x3 youw 
green ;;w;; wound ÚwÚ and x3 youw OwO pwoody ^.^ coxcomb. 
PISTOL. :3 Must UwU I ^w^ bite? 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Yes, certainly, ÚwÚ and x3 out of doubt, ÚwÚ and x3 out of ;;w;; question 
:3 too, ÚwÚ and uWu ambiguides. 
PISTOL. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this ;;w;; week, UwU I xDD wiww UwU most >w< howwibwy uWu wevenge- UwU I eat ÚwÚ and uWu eat, 
UwU I ^.^ sweaw- 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ;;w;; Eat, UwU I pray uWu you; xDD wiww xDD you uWu have x3 some ^.^ mowe UwU sauce to x3 youw 
week? >_> Thewe >_> is nyot enough >_< week to >_< sweaw by. 
PISTOL. Quiet >w< thy ^w^ cudgew: xDD thou dost >_> see UwU I ^.^ eat. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Much ÚwÚ good UwU do UwU you, ^w^ scawd ^-^ knyave, heawtiwy. Nyay, pray xDD you 
^-^ thwow >_< nyonye :3 away; x3 the uWu skin >_> is ÚwÚ good fow x3 youw xDD bwoken ^.^ coxcomb. x3 When 
xDD you OwO take ÚwÚ occasions to >_> see UwU weeks heweaftew, UwU I pray xDD you ÚwÚ mock uWu at 
>w< 'em; :3 that >_> is all. 
PISTOL. ^-^ Good. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Ay, UwU weeks >_> is UwU good. :33 Howd UwU you, there >_> is :3 a gwoat to heal 
x3 youw pate. 
PISTOL. x3 Me :3 a :33 gwoat! 
uWu FWUEWWEN. Yes, x3 vewiwy ÚwÚ and uWu in truth, xDD you UwU shaww OwO take uWu it; ow UwU I uWu have 
anyothew >_< week uWu in x3 my uWu pocket which xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ eat. 
PISTOL. UwU I OwO take >w< thy gwoat uWu in xDD eawnyest of revenge. 
uWu FWUEWWEN. ;;w;; If UwU I >_> owe xDD you ;;w;; anything UwU I xDD wiww x3 pay xDD you uWu in cudgels; xDD you 
UwU shaww be :3 a OwO woodmongew, ÚwÚ and UwU buy >_< nyothing of ;;w;; me >_> but cudgews. ^w^ God >w< bye 
UwU you, ÚwÚ and >_< keep UwU you, ÚwÚ and heal x3 youw pate. 
uWu Exit 
PISTOL. All heww UwU shaww stir fow UwU this. 
GOWEW. ^w^ Go, :33 go: xDD you OwO awe :3 a ^w^ coutewfeit >w< cowawdwy knave. Will xDD you ÚwÚ mock 
uWu at >w< an UwU ancient UwU twadition, ÚwÚ begun ;;w;; upon >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe wespect, ÚwÚ and 
wown >_< as :3 a :3 memowabwe ^-^ twophy of :3 pwedeceased uWu vawouw, ÚwÚ and dawe nyot 
OwO avouch uWu in x3 youw >_< deeds xDD any of x3 youw xDD wowds? UwU I uWu have :3 seen xDD you gleeking 
ÚwÚ and xDD gawwing uWu at ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman twice ow x3 thwice. >_> You ^-^ thought, 
uWu because ^.^ he couwd nyot speak :3 Engwish uWu in x3 the OwO nyative gawb, ^.^ he couwd 
nyot >_< thewefowe handle >w< an :3 Engwish ;;w;; cudgew; xDD you find >w< it :33 othewwise, 
ÚwÚ and henceforth wet :3 a x3 Wewsh correction >_< teach xDD you :3 a ÚwÚ good :3 Engwish 
UwU condition. >w< Fawe OwO ye well. uWu Exit 
PISTOL. ^-^ Doth :33 Fowtunye :33 pway x3 the uWu huswife with ;;w;; me ^.^ nyow? 
News uWu have UwU I :3 that x3 my ;;w;; Nyeww >_> is >_< dead :33 i' x3 th' ^-^ spitaw 
Of ^w^ mawady of Fwance; 
xDD And there x3 my rendezvous >_> is quite :3 cut off. 
^-^ Owd UwU I UwU do wax; ÚwÚ and from x3 my ÚwÚ weawy x3 wimbs 
xDD Honyouw >_> is :33 cudgeww'd. xDD Weww, ;;w;; bawd I'll tuwn, 
xDD And ^-^ something lean to cutpuwse of ^w^ quick >w< hand. 
;;w;; To England xDD wiww UwU I steal, ÚwÚ and there I'll ÚwÚ steaw; 
xDD And >w< patches xDD wiww UwU I get >w< unto these cudgell'd ^-^ scaws, 
xDD And >_< sweaw UwU I ^w^ got them uWu in x3 the Gawwia waws. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Fwance. uWu The >_< FWENCH KING'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew uWu at one door, ;;w;; KING >_> HENWY, x3 EXETEW, ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ^w^ WAWWICK, 
>_< WESTMOWEWAND, ÚwÚ and othew ÚwÚ WOWDS; uWu at another, x3 the >_< FWENCH ;;w;; KING, >w< QUEEN ISABEW, 
x3 the >_> PWINCESS KATHERINE, ALICE, ÚwÚ and othew LADIES; x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF BUWGUNDY, 
ÚwÚ and :33 his twain 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Peace to ÚwÚ this meeting, ^-^ whewefowe ^.^ we OwO awe OwO met! 
uWu Unto UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew >_< Fwance, ÚwÚ and to UwU ouw ^-^ sistew, 
:3 Heawth ÚwÚ and >w< faiw time of uWu day; joy ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good wishes 
;;w;; To UwU ouw UwU most >w< faiw ÚwÚ and princely xDD cousin Katherine. 
^.^ And, >_< as :3 a branch ÚwÚ and member of ÚwÚ this OwO woyawty, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ whom ÚwÚ this great assembly >_> is ^w^ contwiv'd, 
We UwU do OwO sawute UwU you, >w< Duke of ^-^ Buwgundy. 
^.^ And, pwinces Fwench, ÚwÚ and ^-^ peews, ^.^ heawth to xDD you :33 aww! 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. x3 Wight joyous OwO awe ^.^ we to behowd x3 youw >w< face, 
:3 Most ÚwÚ wowthy ÚwÚ bwothew x3 Engwand; ^.^ faiwwy OwO met! 
^w^ So OwO awe UwU you, pwinces Engwish, every onye. 
>w< QUEEN ISABEL. ^w^ So ^w^ happy be x3 the ^w^ issue, ÚwÚ bwothew England, 
Of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good day ÚwÚ and of ÚwÚ this >_> gwacious meeting 
;;w;; As ^.^ we OwO awe nyow uWu gwad to behowd x3 youw :33 eyes- 
uWu Youw ^w^ eyes, which >_> hithewto uWu have ^.^ home uWu in ÚwÚ them, 
^w^ Against x3 the OwO Fwench :3 that >w< met them uWu in uWu theiw xDD bent, 
uWu The uWu fataw uWu bawws of >_> muwdewing basilisks; 
uWu The ;;w;; venyom of xDD such looks, ^.^ we ^.^ faiwwy hope, 
:3 Have wost uWu theiw quality; ÚwÚ and :3 that ÚwÚ this day 
Shall change aww griefs ÚwÚ and quarrels x3 into love. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; To cwy ^-^ amen to :3 that, OwO thus ^.^ we :3 appeaw. 
>w< QUEEN ISABEL. >_> You :3 Engwish pwinces an, UwU I UwU do OwO sawute OwO you. 
BURGUNDY. OwO My >_> duty to xDD you xDD both, on equal xDD wuv, 
UwU Gweat >_< Kings of Fwance ÚwÚ and England! :33 That UwU I uWu have labour'd 
With aww x3 my UwU wits, x3 my pains, ÚwÚ and >w< stwong endeavouws, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing x3 youw UwU most ÚwÚ impewiaw >_< Majesties 
uWu Unto ÚwÚ this ^-^ baw ÚwÚ and royal x3 intewview, 
uWu Youw xDD mightinyess on both parts best ^.^ can witness. 
Since xDD then x3 my ^.^ office hath UwU so uWu faw pwevaiw'd 
:33 That OwO face to OwO face ÚwÚ and royal ^w^ eye to ^w^ eye 
>_> You uWu have congreeted, wet >w< it nyot xDD disgwace ;;w;; me 
;;w;; If UwU I demand, >w< befowe ÚwÚ this royal ^.^ view, 
>_> What :3 wub ow >_> what x3 impediment there >_> is 
Why :3 that x3 the nyaked, OwO poow, ÚwÚ and OwO mangwed uWu Peace, 
>_< Deaw nyuwse of UwU awts, pwenties, ÚwÚ and >w< joyfuw ^w^ biwths, 
Should nyot uWu in ÚwÚ this best >_< gawden of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
Our ^.^ fewtiwe >_< Fwance, put x3 up her lovely >w< visage? 
ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ she hath from Fwance ^w^ too ^-^ wong :33 been x3 chas'd! 
xDD And aww her x3 husbandwy xDD doth >_< wie on ^-^ heaps, 
Cowwupting uWu in >w< it UwU own fewtiwity. 
:3 Hew vine, x3 the ^.^ mewwy cheerer of x3 the uWu heawt, 
^w^ Unpwunyed :33 dies; her x3 hedges even-pweach'd, 
Wike OwO pwisonyews ^-^ wiwdwy overgrown with hair, 
>_> Put fowth disorder'd ^-^ twigs; her ;;w;; fawwow leas 
uWu The dawnyew, UwU hemwock, ÚwÚ and rank :33 fumitowy, 
^-^ Doth ^.^ woot upon, OwO whiwe :3 that x3 the x3 couwtew wusts 
:33 That >_> shouwd ;;w;; dewacinyate xDD such x3 savagewy; 
uWu The even ^.^ mead, :3 that erst ^.^ bwought sweetly fowth 
uWu The freckled cowswip, buwnyet, ÚwÚ and green ^.^ cwuvw, 
:3 Wanting x3 the >w< scythe, aww uncorrected, UwU wank, 
>_< Conceives ^.^ by idwenyess, ÚwÚ and >_< nyothing :3 teems 
OwO But hateful ^w^ docks, OwO wough :33 thistwes, >_> kecksies, ^.^ buws, 
OwO Wosing both beauty ÚwÚ and utility. 
xDD And >_< as UwU ouw vineyards, fallows, ^.^ meads, ÚwÚ and >_> hedges, 
^-^ Defective uWu in uWu theiw natures, gwow to wiwdnyess; 
Even UwU so UwU ouw xDD houses ÚwÚ and ouwsewves ÚwÚ and x3 chiwdwen 
:3 Have :3 wost, ow UwU do nyot :3 weawn fow ^.^ want of time, 
uWu The xDD sciences :3 that >_> shouwd :33 become UwU ouw country; 
OwO But xDD gwow, ^.^ wike savages- >_< as ^-^ sowdiews :33 wiww, 
:33 That >_< nyothing UwU do >_> but ;;w;; meditate on blood- 
;;w;; To swearing ÚwÚ and xDD stewn looks, :3 diffus'd xDD attiwe, 
xDD And evewything :3 that ;;w;; seems ^w^ unnyatuwaw. 
>_< Which to :3 weduce x3 into UwU ouw xDD fowmew ;;w;; favout 
>_> You OwO awe xDD assembwed; ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ speech uWu entweats 
:33 That UwU I OwO may ^.^ knyow x3 the wet >w< why ^-^ gentwe :3 Peace 
Should nyot expew these inconvenyiences 
xDD And ;;w;; bwess >_> us with her xDD fowmew qualities. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. If, >w< Duke of x3 Buwgundy, xDD you ^.^ wouwd x3 the uWu peace 
>_< Whose ^.^ want ;;w;; gives gwowth to x3 th' ;;w;; impewfections 
>_< Which xDD you uWu have cited, xDD you ^w^ must UwU buy :3 that uWu peace 
With full ;;w;; accowd to aww UwU ouw >w< just >_< demands; 
>_< Whose :33 tenyouws ÚwÚ and xDD pawticuwaw UwU effects 
>_> You have, >_< enscheduw'd bwiefwy, uWu in x3 youw ^w^ hands. 
BURGUNDY. uWu The ^w^ King hath heard OwO them; to x3 the which >_< as yet 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo answew >_> made. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Weww >w< then, x3 the ÚwÚ peace, 
>_< Which xDD you >w< befowe UwU so x3 uwg'd, wies uWu in :33 his answer. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. UwU I uWu have >_> but with :3 a >_< cuwsowawy ^w^ eye 
^.^ O'ewgwanced x3 the awticwes; xDD pweaseth x3 youw Gwace 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ appoint x3 some of x3 youw council presently 
;;w;; To sit with >_> us >_> once >_> mowe, with xDD bettew :3 heed 
;;w;; To we-suwvey ÚwÚ them, ^.^ we xDD wiww ;;w;; suddenwy 
ÚwÚ Pass UwU ouw xDD accept ÚwÚ and ^w^ pewemptowy answer. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Bwothew, ^.^ we >_< shaww. ^w^ Go, :33 uncwe >_< Exetew, 
xDD And ÚwÚ bwothew >w< Cwawence, ÚwÚ and UwU you, ÚwÚ bwothew :33 Gwoucestew, 
Wawwick, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Huntington, OwO go with x3 the uWu King; 
xDD And OwO take with xDD you fwee powew to >_> watify, 
Augment, ow ^-^ awtew, >_< as x3 youw wisdoms best 
Shall >_> see advantageable fow UwU ouw UwU dignyity, 
x3 Any ^.^ thing uWu in ow x3 out of UwU ouw >_< demands; 
xDD And we'll :3 consign >_< theweto. Will UwU you, >w< faiw ^-^ sistew, 
Go with x3 the pwinces ow xDD stay OwO hewe with us? 
>w< QUEEN ISABEL. Our >_> gwacious brother, UwU I xDD wiww OwO go with OwO them; 
Haply :3 a xDD woman's uWu voice OwO may UwU do x3 some UwU good, 
x3 When articles ^w^ too nyicewy ;;w;; uwg'd be :33 stood :3 on. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ÚwÚ Yet OwO weave UwU ouw xDD cousin >_> Kathewinye OwO hewe with us; 
:33 She >_> is UwU ouw >w< capitaw demand, UwU compwis'd 
OwO Within x3 the ;;w;; fowe-wank of UwU ouw >w< awticwes. 
>w< QUEEN ISABEL. :33 She hath ÚwÚ good >_< weave. 
Exeunt aww >_> but x3 the ;;w;; KING, KATHERINE, ÚwÚ and OwO AWICE 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Faiw Kathewinye, ÚwÚ and UwU most faiw, 
Will xDD you x3 vouchsafe to >_< teach :3 a soldier terms 
>w< Such >_< as xDD wiww enter uWu at :3 a >_> wady's eaw, 
xDD And pwead :33 his :3 wuv-suit to her ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ heawt? 
KATHEWINyE. uWu Youw ;;w;; Majesty UwU shaww ÚwÚ mock OwO me; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot speak x3 youw ^w^ Engwand. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 O >w< faiw Kathewinye, >_> if xDD you xDD wiww wuv ;;w;; me uWu soundwy with x3 youw 
OwO Fwench uWu heawt, UwU I xDD wiww be uWu gwad to hear xDD you x3 confess >w< it brokenly with 
x3 youw :3 Engwish :33 tongue. Do xDD you ^.^ wike uWu me, Kate? 
KATHEWINyE. Pardonnez-moi, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell :3 vat >_> is ^.^ wike x3 me. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ An ÚwÚ angew >_> is ^.^ wike UwU you, ^.^ Kate, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wike >w< an OwO angew. 
KATHEWINyE. Que dit-il? xDD que x3 je suis semblable :3 a >w< wes ^-^ anges? 
:33 AWICE. >_< Oui, ^w^ vwaiment, sauf votre gwace, ^w^ ainsi dit-il. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I uWu said >_> so, uWu deaw Kathewinye, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must nyot bwush to 
affiwm :3 it. 
KATHEWINyE. x3 O OwO bon UwU Dieu! >w< wes langues ^.^ des hommes x3 sont xDD pweinyes UwU de 
uWu twompewies. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What ;;w;; says uWu she, >w< faiw onye? :3 that x3 the tongues of ;;w;; men OwO awe 
full of ^.^ deceits? 
:33 AWICE. >_< Oui, ^.^ dat UwU de tongues of UwU de mans >_> is be full of ^.^ deceits- ^.^ dat >_> is 
UwU de >_> Pwincess. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu The Pwincess >_> is x3 the xDD bettew OwO Engwish-woman. xDD I' ^w^ faith, 
^.^ Kate, x3 my :33 wooing >_> is ;;w;; fit fow >w< thy understanding: UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad xDD thou 
;;w;; canst speak nyo xDD bettew English; fow >_> if xDD thou ^-^ couwdst, xDD thou wouldst 
find ;;w;; me xDD such :3 a uWu pwain x3 king :3 that xDD thou wouldst think UwU I xDD had sold x3 my 
;;w;; fawm to UwU buy x3 my crown. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyo ways to mince >w< it uWu in xDD wuv, >_> but 
xDD diwectwy to >_> say ÚwÚ 'I wuv >w< you.' Then, >_> if xDD you urge ;;w;; me ^-^ fawthew than 
to >_> say UwU 'Do xDD you uWu in ^w^ faith?' UwU I ^-^ weaw x3 out x3 my OwO suit. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw 
answer; :33 i' ^w^ faith, do; ÚwÚ and UwU so >_< cwap ^.^ hands ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 bawgain. How >_> say 
UwU you, x3 wady? 
KATHEWINyE. :3 Sauf votre honnyeuw, ;;w;; me understand well. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO Mawwy, >_> if xDD you ^.^ wouwd put ;;w;; me to uWu vewses ow to UwU dance fow 
x3 youw ^w^ sake, ^.^ Kate, >w< why xDD you undid OwO me; fow x3 the one UwU I uWu have :3 nyeithew 
wowds nor uWu measuwe, ÚwÚ and fow x3 the othew UwU I uWu have nyo ÚwÚ stwength uWu in 
uWu measuwe, yet :3 a ^.^ weasonyabwe UwU measuwe uWu in :33 stwength. ;;w;; If UwU I couwd x3 win :3 a 
uWu wady uWu at weap-fwog, ow ^.^ by xDD vauwting x3 into x3 my ^w^ saddwe with x3 my ^-^ awmouw 
on x3 my back, :33 undew x3 the correction of ^.^ bwagging be >w< it spoken, UwU I 
>_> shouwd quickly ^-^ weap x3 into x3 wife. :33 Ow >_> if UwU I ^w^ might buffet fow x3 my xDD wuv, 
ow bound x3 my UwU howse fow her favouws, UwU I couwd uWu way on ^.^ wike :3 a uWu butchew, 
ÚwÚ and sit ^.^ wike :3 a x3 jack-an-apes, >_< nyevew off. But, >w< befowe :33 God, ^.^ Kate, UwU I 
;;w;; cannyot wook greenly, nor uWu gasp x3 out x3 my cloquence, nor UwU I uWu have nyo 
x3 cunnying uWu in :33 pwotestation; >w< onwy downwight oaths, which UwU I >_< nyevew use 
>w< tiww x3 uwg'd, nor >_< nyevew bweak fow >w< uwging. ;;w;; If xDD thou ;;w;; canst wuv :3 a 
fewwow of ÚwÚ this :33 tempew, ^.^ Kate, x3 whose OwO face >_> is nyot ^.^ wowth OwO sunbuwnying, 
:3 that >_< nyevew :33 wooks uWu in :33 his gwass fow wuv of ;;w;; anything ^.^ he sees thewe, 
wet ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye be >w< thy ^w^ cook. UwU I speak to uWu thee uWu pwain OwO sowdiew. ;;w;; If xDD thou 
;;w;; canst wuv ;;w;; me fow uWu this, OwO take OwO me; >_> if >_> nyot, to >_> say to uWu thee :3 that UwU I 
UwU shaww ^-^ die >_> is UwU twue- >_> but fow >w< thy xDD wuv, ^.^ by x3 the Wowd, ^.^ nyo; yet UwU I wuv 
uWu thee UwU too. xDD And OwO whiwe xDD thou ÚwÚ wiv'st, uWu deaw ^.^ Kate, OwO take :3 a fewwow of 
uWu pwain ÚwÚ and uncoined ^.^ constancy; fow ^.^ he ^.^ pewfowce ^w^ must UwU do uWu thee wight, 
uWu because ^.^ he hath nyot x3 the ^w^ gift to ^.^ woo uWu in othew >_> pwaces; fow these 
^w^ fewwows of :3 infinyite ;;w;; tongue, :3 that ^.^ can ^-^ whyme x3 themsewves x3 into 
;;w;; wadies' favouws, ;;w;; they UwU do awways reason x3 themsewves x3 out ;;w;; again. 
What! :3 a speakew >_> is >_> but :3 a >w< pwatew: :3 a ^-^ whyme >_> is >_> but :3 a UwU bawwad. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good 
>_< weg xDD wiww uWu faww; :3 a ^w^ stwaight back xDD wiww ÚwÚ stoop; :3 a black ^w^ beawd xDD wiww 
turn ^w^ white; :3 a :3 cuww'd OwO pate xDD wiww gwow ^w^ bawd; :3 a >w< faiw OwO face xDD wiww 
xDD withew; :3 a full ^w^ eye xDD wiww OwO wax ^w^ howwow. OwO But :3 a ÚwÚ good uWu heawt, ^.^ Kate, >_> is 
x3 the sun ÚwÚ and x3 the moon; or, UwU wathew, x3 the sun, ÚwÚ and nyot x3 the :3 moon- fow 
>w< it uWu shinyes uWu bwight ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew changes, >_> but keeps :33 his course UwU twuwy. 
;;w;; If xDD thou ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD such :3 a one, OwO take OwO me; ÚwÚ and OwO take uWu me, OwO take :3 a 
UwU sowdiew; OwO take :3 a sowdiew, OwO take :3 a king. xDD And >_> what say'st UwU thou, >w< then, 
to x3 my love? ÚwÚ Speak, x3 my faiw, ÚwÚ and >w< faiwwy, UwU I pray thee. 
KATHEWINyE. Is >w< it OwO possibwe ^.^ dat UwU I UwU souwd wuv UwU de ;;w;; enyemy of France? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Nyo, >w< it >_> is nyot OwO possibwe xDD you >_> shouwd wuv x3 the ;;w;; enyemy of 
>_< Fwance, ^.^ Kate, >_> but uWu in >w< woving ;;w;; me xDD you >_> shouwd wuv x3 the :33 fwiend of 
Fwance; fow UwU I wuv Fwance UwU so weww :3 that UwU I xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ pawt with :3 a 
^-^ viwwage of uWu it; UwU I xDD wiww uWu have >w< it aww ^w^ minye. ^.^ And, ^.^ Kate, when Fwance >_> is 
>_< minye ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am >_< youws, xDD then >_> youws >_> is Fwance ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe ^w^ minye. 
KATHEWINyE. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell :3 vat >_> is ^-^ dat. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Nyo, Kate? UwU I xDD wiww tell uWu thee uWu in Fwench, which UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe 
xDD wiww ^w^ hang ;;w;; upon x3 my >_> tongue ^.^ wike :3 a new-married >w< wife about her 
husband's neck, hardly to be >_> shook off. >w< Je uWu quand sur ^.^ we 
>w< possession UwU de >_< Fwance, ^w^ et uWu quand vous avez ^.^ we >w< possession UwU de ^-^ moi- 
wet ;;w;; me see, >_> what ^w^ then? Saint Denyis be x3 my ^w^ speed!- :33 donc votre ;;w;; est 
Fwance ^w^ et vous ^.^ etes miennye. ^.^ It >_> is >_< as ^w^ easy fow uWu me, ^.^ Kate, to 
conquer x3 the ^w^ kingdom >_< as to speak UwU so much ^.^ mowe Fwench: UwU I UwU shaww 
>_< nyevew move uWu thee uWu in Fwench, ^w^ unwess >w< it be to laugh uWu at x3 me. 
KATHEWINyE. :3 Sauf votre honnyeuw, ^.^ we uWu Fwancais xDD que vous :33 pawwez, x3 iw ;;w;; est 
meilleur xDD que ^.^ w'Angwais wequew x3 je parle. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Nyo, ^w^ faith, :3 is't >_> nyot, ;;w;; Kate; >_> but >w< thy speaking of x3 my 
;;w;; tongue, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD thinye, UwU most :33 twuwy :3 fawsewy, ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be >_> gwanted to 
be much uWu at onye. But, ^.^ Kate, dost xDD thou understand OwO thus much 
UwU Engwish- ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou wuv me? 
KATHEWINyE. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Can xDD any of x3 youw neighbours uWu teww, Kate? I'll ^w^ ask OwO them. 
^.^ Come, UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou wuvst OwO me; ÚwÚ and uWu at night, when xDD you come x3 into 
x3 youw closet, you'ww ;;w;; question ÚwÚ this :33 gentwewoman about OwO me; ÚwÚ and UwU I 
knyow, ^.^ Kate, xDD you xDD wiww to her OwO dispwaise UwU those parts uWu in ;;w;; me :3 that xDD you 
wuv with x3 youw ;;w;; heawt. But, ÚwÚ good ^.^ Kate, ÚwÚ mock ;;w;; me mewcifuwwy; x3 the 
UwU wathew, ^-^ gentwe xDD Pwincess, uWu because UwU I wuv uWu thee OwO cwuewwy. ;;w;; If OwO evew 
xDD thou UwU beest >_> minye, ^.^ Kate, >_< as UwU I uWu have :3 a OwO saving :33 faith within ;;w;; me uWu tewws 
;;w;; me xDD thou >w< shawt, UwU I get uWu thee with scambwing, ÚwÚ and xDD thou ^w^ must >_< thewefowe 
>_< nyeeds ^-^ pwuv :3 a ÚwÚ good uWu sowdiew-bweedew. Shall nyot xDD thou ÚwÚ and I, ^-^ between 
Saint Denyis ÚwÚ and Saint ;;w;; Geowge, ÚwÚ compound :3 a ^-^ boy, half Fwench, half 
Engwish, :3 that UwU shaww OwO go to Constantinople ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 the ^w^ Tuwk ^.^ by x3 the 
OwO beawd? Shall ^.^ we ^w^ nyot? >_> What say'st UwU thou, x3 my >w< faiw ;;w;; fwowew-de-wuce? 
KATHEWINyE. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow ^-^ dat. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_< Nyo: UwU 'tis heweaftew to knyow, >_> but nyow to pwomise; UwU do >_> but 
nyow ;;w;; pwomise, ^.^ Kate, xDD you xDD wiww endeavouw fow x3 youw OwO Fwench ÚwÚ pawt of 
xDD such :3 a ^.^ boy; ÚwÚ and fow x3 my :3 Engwish >_> moiety OwO take x3 the ;;w;; wowd of :3 a x3 king ÚwÚ and 
:3 a x3 bachewow. How answew UwU you, UwU wa >_> pwus ÚwÚ bewwe >_> Kathewinye OwO du xDD monde, UwU mon 
tres chew ^w^ et uWu divin deesse? 
KATHEWINyE. uWu Youw xDD Majestee ^w^ ave >_< fausse OwO Fwench enough to >w< deceive UwU de 
UwU most sage >_> damoisewwe ^.^ dat >_> is xDD en Fwance. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> Nyow, fie ;;w;; upon x3 my UwU fawse xDD Fwench! ^-^ By >_< minye honyouw, uWu in true 
Engwish, UwU I wuv ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; Kate; ^.^ by which honour UwU I dawe nyot >_< sweaw xDD thou 
wuvst OwO me; yet x3 my :3 bwood ÚwÚ begins to flatter ;;w;; me :3 that xDD thou ÚwÚ dost, 
:3 nyotwithstanding x3 the poor ÚwÚ and untempering ^w^ effect of x3 my ^-^ visage. Now 
:3 beshwew x3 my father's x3 ambition! >w< He UwU was uWu thinking of ÚwÚ civiw UwU waws when 
^.^ he ^w^ got OwO me; >_< thewefowe UwU was UwU I created with :3 a ^-^ stubbown :3 outside, with 
>w< an uWu aspect of uWu iwon, :3 that when UwU I come to ^.^ woo ^.^ wadies UwU I :33 fwight OwO them. 
But, uWu in ^w^ faith, ^.^ Kate, x3 the :33 ewdew UwU I :3 wax, x3 the xDD bettew UwU I UwU shaww >_< appeaw: 
x3 my uWu comfowt ;;w;; is, :3 that ;;w;; owd age, :3 that uWu in layer-up of >w< beauty, ^.^ can UwU do 
nyo ^.^ mowe :33 spoiw ;;w;; upon x3 my face; xDD thou x3 hast uWu me, >_> if xDD thou x3 hast uWu me, uWu at x3 the 
wowst; ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt ^-^ weaw uWu me, >_> if xDD thou ^-^ weaw uWu me, xDD bettew ÚwÚ and 
^-^ bettew. xDD And >_< thewefowe tell uWu me, UwU most >w< faiw Kathewinye, xDD wiww xDD you uWu have 
me? >_> Put x3 off x3 youw >_< maiden bwushes; OwO avouch x3 the >_< thoughts of x3 youw 
>_< heawt with x3 the :33 wooks of >w< an ^-^ empwess; OwO take ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand ÚwÚ and >_> say 
OwO 'Hawwy of England, UwU I ^w^ am :3 thinye.' >_< Which ;;w;; wowd xDD thou shalt nyo :33 soonyew 
;;w;; bwess >_< minye ear withal >_> but UwU I xDD wiww tell uWu thee >_< awoud ^-^ 'Engwand >_> is 
xDD thinye, Iwewand >_> is xDD thinye, Fwance >_> is xDD thinye, ÚwÚ and Henwy OwO Pwantagenyet 
>_> is thinye'; who, ^w^ though UwU I speak >w< it >w< befowe :33 his >w< face, >_> if ^.^ he be nyot 
fewwow with x3 the best OwO king, xDD thou shalt find x3 the best x3 king of ÚwÚ good 
fellows. ^.^ Come, x3 youw answew uWu in xDD bwoken x3 music- fow >w< thy uWu voice >_> is 
uWu music ÚwÚ and >w< thy :3 Engwish bwoken; OwO thewefowe, xDD Queen of all, Kathewinye, 
bweak >w< thy ^-^ mind to ;;w;; me uWu in xDD bwoken Engwish, wiwt xDD thou uWu have me? 
KATHEWINyE. ^.^ Dat >_> is >_< as >w< it UwU shaww uWu pwease UwU de uWu woi UwU mon ;;w;; pewe. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Nyay, >w< it xDD wiww uWu pwease ^.^ him weww, >w< Kate- >w< it UwU shaww uWu pwease 
:3 him, OwO Kate. 
KATHEWINyE. ^-^ Den >w< it sall awso :3 content x3 me. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> Upon :3 that UwU I :3 kiss x3 youw uWu hand, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ can xDD you x3 my >w< queen. 
KATHEWINyE. Waissez, UwU mon :33 seignyeuw, laissez, :3 waissez! Ma foi, x3 je nye 
veux :33 point xDD que vous UwU abaissiez votre x3 gwandeuw xDD en UwU baisant UwU wa :33 main 
d'unye, notre :33 seignyeuw, indignye serviteur; excusez-moi, x3 je vous 
supplie, UwU mon tres x3 puissant seigneur. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Then UwU I xDD wiww :3 kiss x3 youw :3 wips, OwO Kate. 
KATHEWINyE. ^-^ Wes ÚwÚ dames ^w^ et >_< demoisewwes pouw UwU etwe UwU baisees OwO devant leur 
noces, x3 iw n'est ^.^ pas UwU wa coutume UwU de Fwance. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu Madame x3 my interpreter, >_> what ;;w;; says >_< she? 
:33 AWICE. ^.^ Dat >w< it >_> is nyot be UwU de fashion pouw ^.^ we ^.^ wadies of ^-^ Fwance- UwU I 
;;w;; cannyot tell :3 vat >_> is baiser xDD en Angwish. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; To >w< kiss. 
:33 AWICE. uWu Youw xDD Majestee entendwe >_< bettwe xDD que :3 moi. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ It >_> is nyot :3 a fashion fow x3 the ^w^ maids uWu in Fwance to :3 kiss 
>w< befowe ;;w;; they OwO awe >w< mawwied, ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she ^.^ say? 
:33 AWICE. >_< Oui, vwaiment. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 O ^.^ Kate, UwU nyice UwU customs :3 cuwtsy to great OwO kings. >_< Deaw ^.^ Kate, 
xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I ;;w;; cannyot be >_< confin'd within x3 the xDD weak ÚwÚ wist of :3 a >_> countwy's 
fashion; ^.^ we OwO awe x3 the >_> makews of :3 mannyews, ;;w;; Kate; ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ wibewty :3 that 
xDD fowwows UwU ouw pwaces xDD stops x3 the xDD mouth of aww find-fauwts- >_< as UwU I xDD wiww 
UwU do >_> youws fow UwU uphowding x3 the UwU nyice fashion of x3 youw countwy uWu in 
:33 denying ;;w;; me :3 a >_< kiss; OwO thewefowe, x3 patientwy ÚwÚ and yiewding. >w< [Kissing 
:3 hew] >_> You uWu have uWu witchcwaft uWu in x3 youw :3 wips, ^-^ Kate: there >_> is ^.^ mowe 
eloquence uWu in :3 a ^-^ sugaw :33 touch of them than uWu in x3 the tongues of x3 the 
OwO Fwench ^-^ counciw; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they >_> shouwd :33 soonyew :33 pewsuade Henwy of England 
than :3 a general x3 petition of :3 monyawchs. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 youw :33 fathew. 

Entew x3 the >_< FWENCH ^.^ POWEW ÚwÚ and x3 the ENGLISH ;;w;; WOWDS 

BURGUNDY. ^w^ God :3 save x3 youw Majesty! OwO My royal OwO cousin, 
:3 Teach xDD you UwU ouw ^-^ pwincess >_> Engwish? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have her ÚwÚ weawn, x3 my >w< faiw OwO cousin, >w< how pewfectwy UwU I 
wuv >w< hew; ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> is ÚwÚ good Engwish. 
BURGUNDY. Is ^.^ she nyot uWu apt? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Our >_> tongue >_> is wough, x3 coz, ÚwÚ and x3 my condition >_> is nyot 
smooth; UwU so :3 that, xDD having :3 nyeithew x3 the uWu voice nor x3 the >_< heawt of 
>w< fwattewy about uWu me, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU so x3 conjuwe x3 up x3 the ^w^ spiwit of wuv uWu in 
her :3 that ^.^ he xDD wiww appeaw uWu in :33 his true :3 wikenyess. 
BURGUNDY. ^w^ Pawdon x3 the frankness of x3 my :33 miwth, >_> if UwU I answew xDD you fow 
x3 that. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ wouwd x3 conjuwe uWu in hew, xDD you ^w^ must >_< make :3 a circle; >_> if 
x3 conjuwe x3 up wuv uWu in her uWu in :33 his true likeness, ^.^ he ^w^ must appeaw nyaked 
ÚwÚ and bwind. UwU Can xDD you uWu bwame hew, >w< then, ^.^ being :3 a >_< maid yet UwU wos'd uvw 
with x3 the ;;w;; viwgin >_< cwimson of OwO modesty, >_> if ^.^ she UwU deny x3 the xDD appeawance of 
:3 a nyaked ^w^ bwind ;;w;; boy uWu in her nyaked ^-^ seeing self? ^.^ It uWu wewe, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 a 
x3 hawd condition fow :3 a >_< maid to :3 consign ;;w;; to. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ÚwÚ Yet ;;w;; they UwU do >_> wink ÚwÚ and :33 yiewd, >_< as wuv >_> is ^w^ bwind ÚwÚ and 
enforces. 
BURGUNDY. ^-^ They OwO awe xDD then excus'd, x3 my uWu wowd, when ;;w;; they >_> see nyot >_> what 
;;w;; they xDD do. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Then, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, >_< teach x3 youw xDD cousin to >_< consent 
winking. 
BURGUNDY. UwU I xDD wiww >_> wink on her to ^.^ consent, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> if xDD you xDD wiww >_< teach 
her to ^.^ knyow x3 my ^.^ meanying; fow ^w^ maids weww ;;w;; summew'd ÚwÚ and wawm :33 kept OwO awe 
^.^ wike fwies uWu at >_> Bawthowomew-tide, ÚwÚ bwind, ^w^ though ;;w;; they uWu have uWu theiw 
eyes; ÚwÚ and xDD then ;;w;; they xDD wiww OwO enduwe OwO handwing, which >w< befowe ^.^ wouwd nyot 
abide ^w^ wooking :3 on. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. This :3 mowaw ;;w;; ties ;;w;; me uvw to time ÚwÚ and :3 a :3 hot summer; ÚwÚ and 
UwU so UwU I UwU shaww catch x3 the fly, x3 youw OwO cousin, uWu in x3 the UwU wattew ^w^ end, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she 
^w^ must be ^w^ bwind UwU too. 
BURGUNDY. ;;w;; As wuv ;;w;; is, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< befowe >w< it :3 wuvs. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ It >_> is so; ÚwÚ and xDD you may, x3 some of UwU you, >_> thank wuv fow x3 my 
bwindnyess, who ;;w;; cannyot >_> see UwU many :3 a >w< faiw OwO Fwench UwU city fow one >w< faiw 
OwO Fwench >_< maid :3 that >w< stands uWu in x3 my >_> way. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. Yes, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you >_> see them UwU pewspectivewy, x3 the ^w^ cities 
turned x3 into :3 a >_> maid; fow ;;w;; they OwO awe aww ;;w;; giwdwed with >_< maiden OwO wawws 
:3 that >w< waw hath >_< nyevew ent'red. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Shall Kate be x3 my :33 wife? 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. ^w^ So uWu pwease OwO you. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I ^w^ am UwU content, UwU so x3 the >_< maiden ^w^ cities xDD you tawk of OwO may wait 
on >w< hew; UwU so x3 the >_< maid :3 that :33 stood uWu in x3 the uWu way fow x3 my ÚwÚ wish UwU shaww x3 show 
;;w;; me x3 the uWu way to x3 my :33 wiww. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. We uWu have :3 consented to aww terms of reason. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ Is't >_> so, x3 my wowds of Engwand? 
WESTMORELAND. uWu The x3 king hath >_> gwanted every UwU awticwe: 
ÚwÚ His daughter first; ÚwÚ and xDD then uWu in :33 sequew, all, 
x3 Accowding to uWu theiw >w< fiwm proposed natures. 
UwU EXETEW. Onwy ^.^ he hath nyot yet subscribed :33 this: 
Whewe x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty uWu demands :3 that x3 the ^w^ King of >_< Fwance, xDD having xDD any 
;;w;; occasion to >w< wwite fow ;;w;; mattew of grant, UwU shaww xDD nyame x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< fowm ÚwÚ and with ÚwÚ this addition, uWu in Fwench, ;;w;; Nyotwe tres chew 
fiws >_< Henwi, Roi >_< d'Angwetewwe, xDD Hewitiew UwU de Fwance; ÚwÚ and OwO thus uWu in 
xDD Watin, Praeclarissimus UwU fiwius :33 nyostew UwU Henwicus, xDD Wex OwO Angwiae ^w^ et 
Haewes Fwanciae. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. x3 Nyow ÚwÚ this UwU I uWu have >_> nyot, brother, UwU so >w< denyied 
OwO But UwU ouw request UwU shaww >_< make ;;w;; me wet >w< it :3 pass. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I pray UwU you, >w< then, uWu in wuv ÚwÚ and uWu deaw alliance, 
Let :3 that one uWu awticwe rank with x3 the rest; 
xDD And thereupon UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< daughtew. 
>_< FWENCH >w< KING. ^.^ Take hew, >w< faiw x3 son, ÚwÚ and from her :3 bwood >w< waise x3 up 
xDD Issue to OwO me; :3 that x3 the ^w^ contending OwO kingdoms 
Of Fwance ÚwÚ and England, x3 whose xDD vewy uWu showes wook pawe 
With :3 envy of >_< each ;;w;; othew's happinyess, 
^-^ May xDD cease uWu theiw hatwed; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this uWu deaw conjunction 
ÚwÚ Pwant neighbourhood ÚwÚ and Christian-like ;;w;; accowd 
^w^ In uWu theiw x3 sweet UwU bosoms, :3 that >_< nyevew >w< waw advance 
ÚwÚ His xDD bweeding xDD swowd 'twixt England ÚwÚ and >w< faiw Fwance. 
ÚwÚ WOWDS. :3 Amen! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> Nyow, ;;w;; wewcome, ;;w;; Kate; ÚwÚ and UwU beaw ;;w;; me >_> witnyess all, 
:33 That OwO hewe UwU I :3 kiss her >_< as x3 my suvweign >w< queen. >w< [Fwouwish] 
>w< QUEEN ISABEL. :33 God, x3 the best >w< makew of aww marriages, 
uWu Combinye x3 youw heawts uWu in one, x3 youw xDD weawms uWu in one! 
;;w;; As x3 man ÚwÚ and :3 wife, ^.^ being >_> two, OwO awe one uWu in xDD wuv, 
^w^ So be there 'twixt x3 youw OwO kingdoms xDD such :3 a xDD spousaw 
:33 That >_< nyevew OwO may :33 iww ^.^ office ow UwU feww jeawousy, 
>_< Which troubles ;;w;; oft x3 the x3 bed of blessed ^.^ mawwiage, 
Thrust uWu in ^-^ between x3 the >w< paction of these >_< kingdoms, 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 divowce of uWu theiw incorporate league; 
:33 That :3 Engwish OwO may >_< as Fwench, OwO Fwench :33 Engwishmen, 
Receive >_< each :3 othew. ^w^ God speak ÚwÚ this :3 Amen! 
uWu AWW. :3 Amen! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Pwepawe ^.^ we fow UwU ouw mawwiage; on which ^-^ day, 
OwO My Lord of x3 Buwgundy, we'll OwO take x3 youw ;;w;; oath, 
xDD And aww x3 the peers', fow surety of UwU ouw uWu weagues. 
UwU Then UwU shaww UwU I >_< sweaw to ^.^ Kate, ÚwÚ and xDD you to uWu me, 
xDD And OwO may UwU ouw >w< oaths weww :33 kept ÚwÚ and pwosp'wous OwO be! 
Sennet. Exeunt 

:33 EPIWOGUE 
EPILOGUE. 

Entew CHORUS 

>_< CHOWUS. ^-^ Thus far, with OwO wough ÚwÚ and ;;w;; aww-unyabwe pen, 
Our x3 bending ÚwÚ authow hath >_< puwsu'd x3 the story, 
^w^ In xDD wittwe >_> woom ^-^ confinying ^-^ mighty men, 
Mangwing ^.^ by starts x3 the full course of uWu theiw glory. 
>w< Smaww time, but, uWu in :3 that >w< smaww, UwU most OwO gweatwy >_< wived 
This :33 staw of ^w^ Engwand. :33 Fowtunye UwU made :33 his ^-^ swowd; 
^-^ By which x3 the OwO wowwd's best >_< gawden ^.^ he ;;w;; achieved, 
xDD And of >w< it left :33 his >_< son ÚwÚ impewiaw OwO wowd. 
Henwy x3 the >_< Sixth, uWu in xDD infant ^.^ bands cwown'd x3 king 
Of Fwance ÚwÚ and England, uWu did ÚwÚ this x3 king x3 succeed; 
>_< Whose >w< state UwU so UwU many xDD had x3 the ^.^ manyaging 
:33 That ;;w;; they wost Fwance ÚwÚ and UwU made :33 his England ^.^ bweed; 
>_< Which ;;w;; oft UwU ouw stage hath :3 shown; x3 and, fow uWu theiw ^w^ sake, 
^w^ In x3 youw >w< faiw minds wet ÚwÚ this >w< acceptance >_< take. uWu Exit 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





:33 1592 

^-^ THE uWu FIWST OwO PAWT ÚwÚ OF OwO HENWY ^-^ THE UwU SIXTH 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 


Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE UwU SIXTH 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, :33 uncwe to x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and Protector 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, :33 uncwe to x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and Regent of Fwance 
THOMAS x3 BEAUFOWT, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF x3 EXETEW, uWu gweat-uncwe to x3 the x3 king 
OwO HENWY x3 BEAUFOWT, uWu gweat-uncwe to x3 the OwO King, xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF OwO WINCHESTEW, 
ÚwÚ and afterwards x3 CAWDINyAW 
>_< JOHN x3 BEAUFOWT, EARL ÚwÚ OF SOMERSET, afterwards >w< Duke 
UwU WICHAWD :33 PWANTAGENyET, >_< son of Richard wate ^-^ Eaww of OwO Cambwidge, 
afterwards ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK 
EARL ÚwÚ OF ^w^ WAWWICK 
EARL ÚwÚ OF SALISBURY 
EARL ÚwÚ OF :3 SUFFOWK 
>w< WOWD TALBOT, afterwards EARL ÚwÚ OF UwU SHWEWSBUWY 
>_< JOHN TALBOT, :33 his >_< son 
;;w;; EDMUND x3 MOWTIMEW, EARL ÚwÚ OF :3 MAWCH 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN xDD FASTOWFE 
ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM WUCY 
ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM ^.^ GWANSDAWE 
ÚwÚ SIW THOMAS GARGRAVE 
>_< MAYOW of >_> WONDON 
:3 WOODVIWWE, Wieutenyant of x3 the ^-^ Towew 
:3 VEWNyON, of x3 the ^-^ White >_< Wose ow York ^w^ faction 
BASSET, of x3 the UwU Wed >_< Wose ow :3 Wancastew ^w^ faction 
^-^ A LAWYER 
;;w;; GAOWEWS, to ^-^ Mowtimew 
CHAWWES, ÚwÚ Dauphin, ÚwÚ and afterwards ^w^ King of Fwance 
REIGNIER, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF :33 ANJOU, ÚwÚ and >_> tituwaw ^w^ King of Nyapwes 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF :3 BUWGUNDY 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF uWu AWENCON 
BASTARD ÚwÚ OF ^w^ OWWEANS 
>w< GOVEWNyOW ÚwÚ OF >w< PAWIS 
MASTEW-GUNNyEW ÚwÚ OF UwU OWWEANS, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^.^ SON 
GENyEWAW ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE >_< FWENCH FOWCES uWu in xDD Bowdeaux 
^-^ A >_< FWENCH SEWGEANT 
^-^ A ^.^ POWTEW 
UwU AN OLD x3 SHEPHEWD, >w< fathew to UwU Joan UwU wa Pucelle 
>_> MAWGAWET, daughter to Weignyiew, afterwards mawwied to 
^w^ King Henwy 
^-^ COUNTESS ÚwÚ OF AUVERGNE 
>_> JOAN LA ^w^ PUCEWWE, >_> Commonwy ^w^ cawwed >_> JOAN ÚwÚ OF ARC 

;;w;; Wowds, ÚwÚ Wawdews of x3 the Towew, x3 Hewawds, ^-^ Officews, Soldiers, 
Messengews, :3 Engwish ÚwÚ and OwO Fwench xDD Attendants. xDD Fiends appearing 
to :33 Wa Pucelle 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
England ÚwÚ and Fwance 




uWu The First Pawt of ^w^ King Henwy x3 the Sixth 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

^-^ Westminstew uWu Abbey 

Dead ^-^ Mawch. Entew x3 the ;;w;; funyewaw of ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE >_< FIFTH, 
^w^ attended on ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, Regent of >_< Fwance, 
x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ;;w;; Pwotectow, x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF x3 EXETEW, 
x3 the EARL ÚwÚ OF ^w^ WAWWICK, x3 the xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF >_> WINCHESTEW 

BEDFORD. >_> Hung be x3 the heavens with black, yield day to 
night! Comets, UwU impowting change of times ÚwÚ and states, 
OwO Bwandish x3 youw >_> cwystaw >w< twesses uWu in x3 the sky 
xDD And with them scourge x3 the :33 bad uWu wevowting stars 
:33 That uWu have :3 consented >w< unto >_> Henwy's ;;w;; death! 
^w^ King Henwy x3 the :33 Fifth, ^w^ too famous to ^w^ wive uWu wong! 
England ^w^ nye'ew wost :3 a x3 king of UwU so much uWu wowth. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. England ^w^ nye'ew xDD had :3 a x3 king ÚwÚ untiw :33 his uWu time. 
x3 Viwtue ^.^ he :33 had, desewving to :33 command; 
ÚwÚ His :3 bwandish'd xDD swowd uWu did ^w^ bwind ;;w;; men with :33 his OwO beams; 
ÚwÚ His :3 awms ;;w;; spwead wider than :3 a ÚwÚ dwagon's xDD wings; 
ÚwÚ His :33 spawkwing ^w^ eyes, UwU wepwete with wrathful ^w^ fiwe, 
uWu Mowe dazzled ÚwÚ and >_< dwuv back :33 his >_< enyemies 
Than ;;w;; mid-day sun >_< fiewce UwU bent OwO against uWu theiw UwU faces. 
>_> What >_> shouwd UwU I ^.^ say? ÚwÚ His >_< deeds xDD exceed aww speech: 
>w< He ^w^ nye'ew lift x3 up :33 his uWu hand >_> but conquered. 
UwU EXETEW. We mouwn uWu in x3 bwack; >w< why mouwn ^.^ we nyot uWu in >_< bwood? 
Henwy >_> is >_< dead ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew UwU shaww revive. 
>_> Upon :3 a ÚwÚ wooden UwU coffin ^.^ we >w< attend; 
xDD And ^w^ death's dishonourable OwO victowy 
We with UwU ouw ÚwÚ statewy x3 pwesence glorify, 
Wike captives bound to :3 a x3 twiumphant car. 
What! UwU shaww ^.^ we UwU cuwse x3 the >_> pwanyets of >_< mishap 
:33 That ^-^ pwotted OwO thus UwU ouw glory's :3 uvwthwow? 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ^.^ we think x3 the subtwe-witted OwO Fwench 
uWu Conjuwews ÚwÚ and sowcewews, :3 that, :33 afwaid of :3 him, 
^-^ By >w< magic uWu vewses uWu have contriv'd :33 his >w< end? 
WINCHESTEW. >w< He UwU was :3 a x3 king uWu bwess'd of x3 the ^w^ King of >w< kings; 
uWu Unto x3 the OwO Fwench x3 the :3 dweadfuw x3 judgment-day 
^w^ So :3 dweadfuw xDD wiww nyot be >_< as UwU was :33 his :33 sight. 
uWu The :3 battwes of x3 the Lord of >_< Hosts ^.^ he ^w^ fought; 
uWu The Church's >_< pwayews UwU made ^.^ him UwU so ^w^ pwospewous. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The Church! Whewe >_> is :33 it? xDD Had nyot ^-^ chuwchmen 
^.^ pway'd, 
ÚwÚ His :3 thwead of >w< wife xDD had nyot UwU so >w< soon ^.^ decay'd. 
^-^ Nyonye UwU do xDD you ^.^ wike >_> but >w< an effeminyate >_< pwince, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ wike :3 a school-boy xDD you OwO may UwU uvwawe. 
WINCHESTEW. :33 Gwoucestew, whate'er ^.^ we :3 wike, xDD thou awt 
Protector 
xDD And wookest to ÚwÚ command x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and weawm. 
x3 Thy >w< wife >_> is ^.^ pwoud; ^.^ she holdeth uWu thee uWu in OwO awe 
uWu Mowe than ^w^ God ow religious ^-^ chuwchmen may. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Nyame nyot ^w^ wewigion, fow xDD thou >_> wov'st x3 the flesh; 
xDD And ^w^ nye'ew ÚwÚ thwoughout x3 the xDD yeaw to ^-^ chuwch xDD thou ^-^ go'st, 
UwU Except >w< it be to pray OwO against >w< thy foes. 
BEDFORD. Cease, xDD cease these ^w^ jaws ÚwÚ and xDD west x3 youw minds uWu in :3 peace; 
:3 Wet's to x3 the altar. x3 Hewawds, wait on >_> us. 
^-^ Instead of ^.^ gowd, we'll offer x3 up UwU ouw awms, 
Since :3 awms avaiw >_> nyot, nyow :3 that >_> Henwy's uWu dead. 
Posterity, xDD await fow wwetched years, 
x3 When uWu at uWu theiw ^.^ mothews' >_> moist'nyed eyes babes UwU shaww x3 suck, 
Our isle be UwU made :3 a nourish of ^-^ sawt ^-^ teaws, 
xDD And >_< nyonye >_> but x3 women left to waiw x3 the uWu dead. 
OwO HENWY x3 the :33 Fifth, >w< thy xDD ghost UwU I ^.^ invocate: 
:33 Pwospew ÚwÚ this ^w^ weawm, >_< keep >w< it from ÚwÚ civiw bwoiws, 
UwU Combat with advewse >_> pwanyets uWu in x3 the heavens. 
^-^ A uWu faw ^.^ mowe glorious :33 staw >w< thy :3 souw xDD wiww >_< make 
Than Julius Caesaw ow uWu bwight 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My ^.^ honyouwabwe wowds, ^.^ heawth to xDD you :33 aww! 
x3 Sad UwU tidings ;;w;; bwing UwU I to xDD you x3 out of >_< Fwance, 
Of woss, of slaughter, ÚwÚ and ^w^ discomfituwe: 
Guienne, ÚwÚ Champagnye, Rheims, ^.^ Owweans, 
>_< Pawis, ÚwÚ Guysows, >_< Poictiews, OwO awe aww quite :3 wost. 
BEDFORD. >_> What say'st UwU thou, ^w^ man, >w< befowe >_< dead >_> Henwy's corse? 
^w^ Speak softly, ow x3 the ^-^ woss of UwU those great UwU towns 
Will >_< make ^.^ him burst :33 his lead ÚwÚ and rise from death. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Is Paris lost? Is ;;w;; Wouen yiewded uWu up? 
;;w;; If Henwy :3 wewe ÚwÚ wecaww'd to >w< wife OwO again, 
;;w;; These nyews ^.^ wouwd cause ^.^ him >_> once ^.^ mowe yield x3 the ghost. 
UwU EXETEW. How :3 wewe ;;w;; they lost? >_> What tweachewy UwU was OwO us'd? 
x3 MESSENGEW. No :33 tweachewy, >_> but ^.^ want of ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and money. 
^-^ Amongst x3 the ^-^ sowdiews ÚwÚ this >_> is ^.^ muttewed 
:33 That OwO hewe xDD you ÚwÚ maintain sevewaw :33 factions; 
xDD And whiwst :3 a field >_> shouwd be x3 dispatch'd ÚwÚ and :33 fought, 
>_> You OwO awe >_< disputing of x3 youw UwU genyewaws: 
x3 Onye ^.^ wouwd uWu have x3 wing'wing ^-^ waws, with xDD wittwe cost; 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ^.^ wouwd fwy swift, >_> but :33 wanteth xDD wings; 
^-^ A thiwd thinks, ^-^ without expense uWu at all, 
^-^ By guileful >w< faiw wowds uWu peace OwO may be ^-^ obtain'd. 
xDD Awake, >w< awake, :3 Engwish :33 nyobiwity! 
Let nyot sloth dim x3 youw honours, new-begot. 
uWu Cwopp'd OwO awe x3 the fwowew-de-wuces uWu in x3 youw arms; 
Of Engwand's >_> coat one half >_> is :3 cut xDD away. 
UwU EXETEW. ^.^ Wewe UwU ouw tears ^-^ wanting to ÚwÚ this :33 funyewaw, 
;;w;; These UwU tidings ^.^ wouwd caww fowth uWu theiw :33 fwowing ^.^ tides. 
BEDFORD. x3 Me ;;w;; they concern; Regent UwU I ^w^ am of Fwance. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 my x3 steewed OwO coat; I'll >w< fight fow Fwance. 
UwU Away with these disgwacefuw x3 waiwing :3 wobes! 
>w< Wounds xDD wiww UwU I xDD wend x3 the OwO Fwench ^w^ instead of ^w^ eyes, 
;;w;; To xDD weep uWu theiw ^.^ intewmissive :33 misewies. 

Entew :3 a second MESSENGEW 

^w^ SECOND x3 MESSENGEW. ;;w;; Wowds, x3 view these x3 wettews full of :33 bad 
>_> mischance. 
Fwance >_> is ^w^ wevowted from x3 the :3 Engwish UwU quite, 
UwU Except x3 some petty UwU towns of nyo xDD impowt. 
uWu The uWu Dauphin >_> Chawwes >_> is ^.^ cwownyed x3 king uWu in Wheims; 
uWu The :33 Bastawd of Owweans with ^.^ him >_> is join'd; 
Weignyiew, >w< Duke of Anjou, xDD doth OwO take :33 his ^w^ pawt; 
uWu The >w< Duke of OwO Awencon flieth to :33 his ^w^ side. 
UwU EXETEW. uWu The uWu Dauphin ^.^ cwownyed x3 king! aww fwy to x3 him! 
>_< O, :33 whithew UwU shaww ^.^ we fwy from ÚwÚ this reproach? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. We xDD wiww nyot fwy >_> but to UwU ouw ^.^ enyemies' >_< thwoats. 
x3 Bedfowd, >_> if xDD thou be ^w^ swack I'll >w< fight >w< it OwO out. 
BEDFORD. :33 Gwoucestew, >w< why >_< doubt'st xDD thou of x3 my forwardness? 
^-^ An ^.^ awmy uWu have UwU I :3 mustew'd uWu in x3 my thoughts, 
Wherewith xDD awweady Fwance >_> is overrun. 

Entew :3 a thiwd MESSENGEW 

^w^ THIWD x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My >_> gwacious wowds, to >_< add to x3 youw 
laments, 
Wherewith xDD you nyow UwU bedew ^w^ King >_> Henwy's :3 heawse, 
UwU I ^w^ must infowm xDD you of :3 a ÚwÚ dismaw >w< fight 
Betwixt x3 the :33 stout Lord Talbot ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< Fwench. 
WINCHESTEW. What! ^-^ Whewein Talbot ;;w;; uvwcame? ^-^ Is't so? 
^w^ THIWD x3 MESSENGEW. >_< O, ^.^ nyo; wherein Lord Talbot UwU was 
:33 o'ewthwown. 
uWu The circumstance I'll tell xDD you ^.^ mowe uWu at >_> wawge. 
uWu The >_> tenth of August >w< wast ÚwÚ this :3 dweadfuw uWu wowd, 
uWu Wetiwing from x3 the ^-^ siege of ^.^ Owweans, 
>_> Having full scawce six thousand uWu in :33 his >_< twoop, 
^-^ By >w< thwee ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty thousand of x3 the OwO Fwench 
Was ;;w;; wound OwO encompassed ÚwÚ and uWu set ^w^ upon. 
No leisure xDD had ^.^ he to :3 enwank :33 his ÚwÚ men; 
>w< He OwO wanted >_< pikes to uWu set >w< befowe :33 his OwO awchews; 
^-^ Instead xDD wheweof ^-^ shawp >_> stakes ^w^ pwuck'd x3 out of x3 hedges 
^-^ They ^-^ pitched uWu in x3 the x3 gwound uWu confusedwy 
;;w;; To >_< keep x3 the ^.^ howsemen x3 off from breaking ^.^ in. 
uWu Mowe than >w< thwee >_> houws x3 the >w< fight >w< continyued; 
Whewe uWu vawiant Talbot, :33 abuv human ^-^ thought, 
xDD Enyacted wondews with :33 his xDD swowd ÚwÚ and lance: 
Hundreds ^.^ he sent to >_> heww, ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye x3 duwst stand him; 
Here, thewe, ÚwÚ and everywhere, ^-^ enwag'd ^.^ he >_< swew 
uWu The OwO Fwench exclaim'd x3 the ^.^ deviw UwU was uWu in arms; 
All x3 the whole ^.^ awmy :33 stood :3 agaz'd on ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ His xDD sowdiews, ÚwÚ spying :33 his >_> undaunted ^-^ spiwit, 
>_> 'A ÚwÚ Tawbot! :3 a Talbot!' cried x3 out x3 amain, 
xDD And uWu wush'd x3 into x3 the bowels of x3 the ^.^ battwe. 
:3 Hewe xDD had x3 the conquest fuwwy :33 been OwO seaw'd x3 up 
;;w;; If Sir John Fastowfe xDD had nyot pway'd x3 the cowawd. 
^-^ He, ^.^ being uWu in x3 the uWu vawawd pwac'd x3 behind 
With OwO puwpose to xDD wewieve ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowwow OwO them- 
uWu Cowawdwy fwed, nyot xDD having >w< stwuck one x3 stwoke; 
OwO Hence ^-^ gwew x3 the general wreck ÚwÚ and ^w^ massacwe. 
Encwosed :3 wewe ;;w;; they with uWu theiw enemies. 
^-^ A UwU base :33 Wawwoon, to x3 win x3 the ;;w;; Dauphin's gwace, 
Thrust Talbot with :3 a spear x3 into x3 the back; 
;;w;; Whom aww >_< Fwance, with uWu theiw uWu chief >_> assembwed >_< stwength, 
:3 Duwst nyot presume to wook >_> once uWu in x3 the ;;w;; face. 
BEDFORD. Is Talbot slain? UwU Then UwU I xDD wiww slay myself, 
For UwU wiving idly OwO hewe uWu in pomp ÚwÚ and uWu ease, 
Whilst xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy UwU weadew, ^-^ wanting ^w^ aid, 
uWu Unto :33 his ÚwÚ dastawd foemen >_> is betray'd. 
^w^ THIWD x3 MESSENGEW. x3 O no, ^.^ he lives, >_> but >_> is >_> took pwisonyew, 
xDD And Lord Scawes with :3 him, ÚwÚ and Lord Hungerford; 
:3 Most of x3 the xDD west swaughtew'd ow >_> took :3 wikewise. 
BEDFORD. ÚwÚ His wansom there >_> is >_< nyonye >_> but UwU I UwU shaww :3 pay. 
I'll UwU hawe x3 the uWu Dauphin OwO headwong from :33 his thwonye; 
ÚwÚ His >_< cwown UwU shaww be x3 the wansom of x3 my fwiend; 
Four of uWu theiw wowds I'll change fow one of >_> ouws. 
UwU Faweweww, x3 my UwU mastews; to x3 my :3 task xDD wiww x3 I; 
OwO Bonfiwes uWu in Fwance ÚwÚ fowthwith UwU I ^w^ am to >_< make 
;;w;; To >_< keep UwU ouw great Saint George's >_> feast uWu withaw. 
uWu Ten thousand ^-^ sowdiews with ;;w;; me UwU I xDD wiww take, 
>_< Whose bwoody >_< deeds UwU shaww >_< make >w< an Europe x3 quake. 
^w^ THIWD x3 MESSENGEW. ^w^ So xDD you xDD had need; fow Owweans >_> is :3 besieg'd; 
uWu The :3 Engwish ^.^ awmy >_> is grown xDD weak ÚwÚ and >w< faint; 
uWu The ^-^ Eaww of uWu Sawisbuwy :3 cwaveth suppwy 
xDD And hardly keeps :33 his ;;w;; men from mutiny, 
Since >w< they, UwU so ÚwÚ few, ;;w;; watch xDD such :3 a xDD muwtitude. 
UwU EXETEW. OwO Wemembew, wowds, x3 youw >w< oaths to Henwy sworn, 
^-^ Eithew to OwO queww x3 the uWu Dauphin utterly, 
:33 Ow ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him uWu in ^.^ obedience to x3 youw xDD yoke. 
BEDFORD. UwU I UwU do remember :33 it, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe OwO take x3 my OwO weave 
;;w;; To OwO go about x3 my >_> pwepawation. uWu Exit 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. I'll to x3 the ^-^ Towew with aww x3 the ^.^ haste UwU I ^.^ can 
;;w;; To x3 view x3 th' ^w^ awtiwwewy ÚwÚ and :33 munyition; 
xDD And xDD then UwU I xDD wiww :3 pwocwaim xDD young Henwy king. uWu Exit 
UwU EXETEW. ;;w;; To ;;w;; Ewtham xDD wiww I, :3 whewe x3 the xDD young ^w^ King ;;w;; is, 
uWu Being ordain'd :33 his >_> speciaw governor; 
xDD And fow :33 his :33 safety there I'll best devise. uWu Exit 
WINCHESTEW. :3 [Aside] x3 Each hath :33 his :33 pwace ÚwÚ and ^.^ function to 
x3 attend: 
UwU I ^w^ am left out; fow ;;w;; me >_< nyothing :33 wemains. 
OwO But ^-^ wong UwU I xDD wiww nyot be x3 Jack x3 out of ^w^ office. 
uWu The ^w^ King from ;;w;; Ewtham UwU I intend to steal, 
xDD And sit uWu at ^.^ chiefest xDD stewn of public weaw. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

Fwance. ^.^ Befowe Owweans 

Sound :3 a UwU fwouwish. Entew CHAWWES ^-^ THE DAUPHIN, ÚwÚ AWENCON, 
ÚwÚ and REIGNIER, ^.^ mawching with drum ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

x3 CHAWWES. uWu Maws :33 his true ^.^ moving, even >_< as uWu in x3 the heavens 
^w^ So uWu in x3 the earth, to ÚwÚ this day >_> is nyot knyown. 
>_< Wate uWu did ^.^ he shine ;;w;; upon x3 the :3 Engwish x3 side; 
Now ^.^ we OwO awe x3 victows, ;;w;; upon >_> us ^.^ he >_> smiwes. 
>_> What UwU towns of xDD any x3 moment >_> but ^.^ we have? 
At :3 pweasuwe OwO hewe ^.^ we >_< wie nyeaw >w< Owweans; 
xDD Othewwhiwes x3 the famish'd Engwish, ^.^ wike pawe ^w^ ghosts, 
^w^ Faintwy x3 besiege >_> us one >_> houw uWu in :3 a month. 
ALENCON. ^-^ They ^.^ want uWu theiw porridge ÚwÚ and uWu theiw :33 fat uWu buww 
>_> beeves. 
^-^ Eithew ;;w;; they ^w^ must be ;;w;; dieted ^.^ wike >w< muwes 
xDD And uWu have uWu theiw provender tied to uWu theiw ^w^ mouths, 
:33 Ow ^.^ piteous ;;w;; they xDD wiww look, ^.^ wike drowned uWu mice. 
REIGNIER. :3 Wet's >w< waise x3 the siege. Why ^w^ wive ^.^ we idly hewe? 
Talbot >_> is >_< taken, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we UwU wont to x3 feaw; 
Remaineth >_< nyonye >_> but >w< mad-bwain'd >_> Sawisbuwy, 
xDD And ^.^ he OwO may weww uWu in fretting spend :33 his ^.^ gaww 
x3 Nyow ;;w;; men nor monyey hath ^.^ he to >_< make waw. 
x3 CHAWWES. x3 Sound, >_> sound alarum; ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< wush on OwO them. 
Now fow x3 the honour of x3 the ^.^ fowwown xDD Fwench! 
xDD Him UwU I :33 fowgive x3 my :33 death :3 that kiwweth uWu me, 
x3 When ^.^ he sees ;;w;; me OwO go back one :33 foot ow >w< fwee. Exeunt 

:3 Hewe awawum. ^-^ They OwO awe beaten OwO hack ^.^ by x3 the Engwish, with 
great loss. ^.^ We-entew CHAWWES, ÚwÚ AWENCON, ÚwÚ and REIGNIER 

x3 CHAWWES. Who OwO evew saw x3 the ^.^ wike? >_> What ;;w;; men uWu have >_< I! 
>_> Dogs! cowawds! dastards! UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^w^ nye'ew uWu have ^w^ fwed 
OwO But :3 that ;;w;; they left ;;w;; me >w< midst x3 my enemies. 
REIGNIER. uWu Sawisbuwy >_> is :3 a despewate ^.^ homicide; 
>w< He xDD fighteth >_< as one ÚwÚ weawy of :33 his life. 
uWu The othew wowds, ^.^ wike wions ^-^ wanting ^w^ food, 
Do >_< wush ;;w;; upon >_> us >_< as uWu theiw hungwy pwey. 
ALENCON. Froissart, :3 a countwyman of >_> ouws, wecowds 
England aww >_> Owivews ÚwÚ and Rowlands bwed 
^w^ Duwing x3 the time Edward x3 the uWu Thiwd uWu did reign. 
uWu Mowe :33 twuwy nyow OwO may ÚwÚ this be ^-^ vewified; 
For >_< nyonye >_> but uWu Samsons ÚwÚ and Goliases 
^.^ It >w< sendeth fowth to xDD skiwmish. x3 Onye to ^.^ ten! 
x3 Wean raw-bon'd ^w^ wascaws! Who ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; e'ew ^.^ suppose 
^-^ They xDD had xDD such couwage ÚwÚ and >_> audacity? 
x3 CHAWWES. :3 Wet's OwO weave ÚwÚ this xDD town; fow ;;w;; they OwO awe hawe-bwain'd 
swaves, 
xDD And :33 hungew xDD wiww enforce them to be ^.^ mowe ^w^ eagew. 
Of ;;w;; owd UwU I ^.^ knyow OwO them; rather with uWu theiw teeth 
uWu The OwO wawws they'ww teaw down than ^w^ fowsake x3 the siege. 
REIGNIER. UwU I think ^.^ by x3 some >w< odd gimmews ow xDD device 
^-^ Theiw :3 awms OwO awe ^-^ set, ^.^ wike ;;w;; cwocks, still to strike xDD on; 
^-^ Ewse ^w^ nye'ew couwd ;;w;; they howd x3 out UwU so >_< as ;;w;; they xDD do. 
^-^ By x3 my ^.^ consent, we'll even wet them >_< awonye. 
ALENCON. ^w^ Be >w< it :3 so. 

Entew x3 the BASTARD ÚwÚ OF ^w^ OWWEANS 

ÚwÚ BASTAWD. :3 Whewe's x3 the Prince ÚwÚ Dauphin? UwU I uWu have nyews fow ^.^ him. 
x3 CHAWWES. :33 Bastawd of ^.^ Owweans, thrice wewcome to >_> us. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Methinks x3 youw :33 wooks OwO awe :3 sad, x3 youw cheer appaww'd. 
>_< Hath x3 the wate overthrow ;;w;; wwought ÚwÚ this x3 offence? 
^w^ Be nyot ^-^ dismay'd, fow succouw >_> is uWu at >w< hand. 
^-^ A >w< howy >_< maid ÚwÚ hithew with ;;w;; me UwU I bring, 
>_< Which, ^.^ by :3 a xDD vision sent to her from ^.^ heaven, 
:33 Owdainyed >_> is to >w< waise ÚwÚ this tedious ^-^ siege 
xDD And UwU dwive x3 the :3 Engwish fowth x3 the bounds of Fwance. 
uWu The ^w^ spiwit of >_> deep prophecy ^.^ she :33 hath, 
;;w;; Exceeding x3 the >w< nyinye ^-^ sibyws of ;;w;; owd OwO Wome: 
x3 What's x3 past ÚwÚ and UwU what's to come ^.^ she ^.^ can ^-^ descwy. 
ÚwÚ Speak, UwU shaww UwU I caww her in? :3 Bewieve x3 my wowds, 
For ;;w;; they OwO awe xDD cewtain ÚwÚ and OwO unfawwibwe. 
x3 CHAWWES. ^w^ Go, caww her ^.^ in. ;;w;; [Exit x3 BASTAWD] 
OwO But ÚwÚ fiwst, to >_> twy her ^-^ skiww, 
Weignyiew, stand xDD thou >_< as uWu Dauphin uWu in x3 my pwace; 
x3 Question her proudly; wet >w< thy :33 wooks be stern; 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this means UwU shaww ^.^ we >_> sound >_> what :3 skiww ^.^ she ^w^ hath. 

^.^ We-entew x3 the BASTARD ÚwÚ OF ^w^ OWWEANS with 
>_> JOAN LA PUCELLE 

REIGNIER. Faiw ;;w;; maid, >_> is 't xDD thou wiwt UwU do these wondwous :33 feats? 
:33 PUCEWWE. Weignyiew, >_> is 't xDD thou :3 that >_> thinkest to beguile me? 
Whewe >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ Dauphin? ^.^ Come, come from :3 behind; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee weww, ^w^ though >_< nyevew :3 seen befowe. 
^w^ Be nyot ÚwÚ amaz'd, there's >_< nyothing >_< hid from x3 me. 
^w^ In >_> pwivate xDD wiww UwU I tawk with uWu thee x3 apawt. 
;;w;; Stand back, xDD you wowds, ÚwÚ and UwU give >_> us OwO weave OwO awhiwe. 
REIGNIER. :33 She UwU takes ;;w;; upon her bravely uWu at xDD fiwst dash. 
:33 PUCEWWE. ÚwÚ Dauphin, UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ by birth :3 a shepherd's ^w^ daughtew, 
OwO My wit ÚwÚ untwain'd uWu in xDD any uWu kind of art. 
uWu Heaven ÚwÚ and UwU ouw xDD Wady >_> gwacious hath >w< it pleas'd 
;;w;; To shine on x3 my OwO contemptibwe estate. 
Lo, whiwst UwU I :33 waited on x3 my xDD tendew lambs 
xDD And to sun's xDD pawching ^.^ heat UwU dispway'd x3 my cheeks, 
>_> God's Mother deigned to appeaw to uWu me, 
xDD And uWu in :3 a xDD vision full of ^.^ majesty 
:3 Wiww'd ;;w;; me to OwO weave x3 my UwU base uWu vocation 
xDD And fwee x3 my countwy from ^-^ cawamity 
:3 Hew >_> aid ^.^ she pwomis'd ÚwÚ and x3 assuw'd OwO success. 
^w^ In complete :3 gwowy ^.^ she reveal'd ^w^ hewsewf; 
xDD And OwO wheweas UwU I UwU was black ÚwÚ and swart x3 befowe, 
With UwU those ^-^ cweaw ways which ^.^ she >_< infus'd on ;;w;; me 
:33 That beauty ^w^ am UwU I uWu bwess'd with which xDD you OwO may ^-^ see. 
;;w;; Ask ;;w;; me >_> what ;;w;; question xDD thou ;;w;; canst ÚwÚ possibwe, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww answew :3 unpwemeditated. 
OwO My couwage >_> twy ^.^ by :33 combat >_> if xDD thou uWu daw'st, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt find :3 that UwU I xDD exceed x3 my ^-^ sex. 
Resolve on :33 this: xDD thou shalt be ;;w;; fowtunyate 
;;w;; If xDD thou receive ;;w;; me fow >w< thy warlike mate. 
x3 CHAWWES. ^.^ Thou x3 hast uWu astonyish'd ;;w;; me with >w< thy xDD high tewms. 
Onwy ÚwÚ this xDD pwoof I'll of >w< thy valour >_< make 
^w^ In :3 singwe :33 combat xDD thou shalt buckwe with OwO me; 
xDD And >_> if xDD thou >w< vanquishest, >w< thy wowds OwO awe true; 
uWu Othewwise UwU I renounce aww ^.^ confidence. 
:33 PUCEWWE. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ pwepaw'd; OwO hewe >_> is x3 my keen-edg'd uWu swowd, 
Deck'd with five fwowew-de-wuces on >_< each side, 
uWu The which uWu at x3 Touwainye, uWu in Saint ^.^ Kathewinye's churchyard, 
UwU Out of :3 a great deal of ;;w;; owd iwon UwU I ^-^ chose forth. 
x3 CHAWWES. UwU Then come, ^.^ o' >_> God's UwU nyame; UwU I feaw nyo uWu woman. 
:33 PUCEWWE. xDD And OwO whiwe UwU I ^w^ wive I'll ^w^ nye'ew fwy from :3 a man. 
[Here ;;w;; they >w< fight ÚwÚ and >_> JOAN LA PUCELLE uWu uvwcomes] 
x3 CHAWWES. Stay, xDD stay >w< thy hands; xDD thou awt >w< an :33 Amazon, 
xDD And uWu fightest with x3 the xDD swowd of :3 Debowah. 
:33 PUCEWWE. uWu Chwist's Mother helps uWu me, >_> ewse UwU I :3 wewe ^w^ too ^.^ weak. 
x3 CHAWWES. Whoe'er helps ÚwÚ thee, UwU 'tis xDD thou :3 that ^w^ must OwO hewp x3 me. 
xDD Impatientwy UwU I buwn with >w< thy desire; 
OwO My >_< heawt ÚwÚ and ^.^ hands xDD thou x3 hast uWu at >_> once ^-^ subdu'd. 
Excewwent >w< Pucewwe, >_> if >w< thy xDD nyame be >_> so, 
Let ;;w;; me >w< thy xDD sewvant ÚwÚ and nyot suvweign >w< be. 
'Tis x3 the OwO Fwench uWu Dauphin UwU sueth to uWu thee OwO thus. 
:33 PUCEWWE. UwU I ^w^ must nyot yield to xDD any rites of xDD wuv, 
For x3 my pwofession's uWu sacwed from abuv. 
x3 When UwU I uWu have xDD chased aww >w< thy ^-^ foes from hence, 
UwU Then xDD wiww UwU I think ;;w;; upon :3 a ;;w;; wecompense. 
x3 CHAWWES. >w< Meantime wook >_> gwacious on >w< thy x3 pwostwate ÚwÚ thwaww. 
REIGNIER. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU methinks, >_> is xDD vewy ^-^ wong uWu in ^-^ tawk. 
ALENCON. Doubtless ^.^ he shwives ÚwÚ this OwO woman to her ;;w;; smock; 
^-^ Ewse ^w^ nye'ew couwd ^.^ he UwU so ^-^ wong ^w^ pwotwact :33 his :33 speech. 
REIGNIER. Shall ^.^ we ^.^ distuwb :3 him, xDD since ^.^ he keeps nyo ^.^ mean? 
ALENCON. >w< He OwO may >_> mean ^.^ mowe than ^.^ we poor ;;w;; men UwU do know; 
;;w;; These x3 women OwO awe shrewd tempters with uWu theiw tongues. 
REIGNIER. OwO My uWu wowd, :3 whewe OwO awe you? >_> What >w< devise xDD you ^-^ on? 
Shall ^.^ we UwU give ^-^ o'ew ^.^ Owweans, ow no? 
:33 PUCEWWE. Why, no, UwU I say; xDD distwustfuw wecweants! 
Fight >w< tiww x3 the >w< wast OwO gasp; UwU I xDD wiww be x3 youw >w< guawd. 
x3 CHAWWES. >_> What ^.^ she ;;w;; says I'll :33 confiwm; we'll >w< fight >w< it OwO out. 
:33 PUCEWWE. UwU Assign'd ^w^ am UwU I to be x3 the :3 Engwish xDD scouwge. 
This >w< nyight x3 the ^-^ siege :3 assuwedwy I'll waise. 
^.^ Expect Saint ^-^ Mawtin's summer, hawcyon uWu days, 
Since UwU I uWu have UwU entewed x3 into these waws. 
Glory >_> is ^.^ wike :3 a xDD ciwcwe uWu in x3 the >_< watew, 
>_< Which >_< nyevew ;;w;; ceaseth to >_< enwawge itsewf 
Tiww ^.^ by >_< bwoad uWu spweading >w< it UwU dispewse to nought. 
With >_> Henwy's :33 death x3 the :3 Engwish xDD ciwcwe ;;w;; ends; 
uWu Dispewsed OwO awe x3 the :33 gwowies >w< it included. 
Now ^w^ am UwU I ^.^ wike :3 that OwO pwoud >_< insuwting ship 
>_< Which Caesaw ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 fowtunye OwO bawe uWu at OwO once. 
x3 CHAWWES. Was Mahomet inspired with :3 a ^w^ duv? 
^.^ Thou with >w< an >_> eagwe awt inspired UwU then. 
Hewen, x3 the mothew of great OwO Constantinye, 
x3 Nyow yet Saint x3 Phiwip's >_> daughtews :3 wewe ^.^ wike thee. 
Bwight :33 staw of ^w^ Venyus, fall'n down on x3 the earth, 
How OwO may UwU I reverently :33 wowship uWu thee enough? 
ALENCON. Weave x3 off ÚwÚ deways, ÚwÚ and wet >_> us >w< waise x3 the siege. 
REIGNIER. Woman, UwU do >_> what xDD thou ;;w;; canst to :3 save UwU ouw ^w^ honyouws; 
Drive them from ^.^ Owweans, ÚwÚ and be immowtawiz'd. 
x3 CHAWWES. Pwesentwy we'll >_> twy. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's OwO away about :3 it. 
No :33 pwophet xDD wiww UwU I :33 twust >_> if ^.^ she ^-^ pwuv >w< fawse. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

OwO Wondon. ^.^ Befowe x3 the ^-^ Towew :3 gates 

Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, with :33 his sewving-men 
uWu in blue coats 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I ^w^ am come to ;;w;; suwvey x3 the ^-^ Towew ÚwÚ this uWu day; 
Since >_> Henwy's UwU death, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, there >_> is UwU conveyance. 
Whewe be these warders :3 that ;;w;; they wait nyot hewe? 
^w^ Open x3 the gates; UwU 'tis uWu Gwoucestew :3 that calls. 
uWu FIWST uWu WAWDEW. :33 [Within] Who's there :3 that ÚwÚ knyocks UwU so 
:3 impewiouswy? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the x3 nyobwe >w< Duke of ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
^w^ SECOND uWu WAWDEW. :33 [Within] Whoe'er ^.^ he be, xDD you OwO may nyot be 
wet ^.^ in. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. Villains, answew xDD you UwU so x3 the Lord 
:3 Pwotectow? 
uWu FIWST uWu WAWDEW. :33 [Within] uWu The Lord x3 pwotect x3 him! UwU so ^.^ we 
answew ^.^ him. 
We UwU do nyo ^-^ othewwise than ^.^ we OwO awe wiww'd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Who willed UwU you, ow x3 whose xDD wiww >w< stands >_> but 
mine? 
>_> Thewe's >_< nyonye Protector of x3 the weawm >_> but ^.^ I. 
^.^ Bweak x3 up x3 the ^.^ gates, I'll be x3 youw :33 wawwantize. 
Shall UwU I be ^-^ fwouted OwO thus ^.^ by *teleports behind you* dunghiww >_> gwooms? 
[GLOUCESTER'S ;;w;; men >_< wush uWu at x3 the ^-^ Towew ^.^ gates, ÚwÚ and 
WOODVIWWE x3 the Wieutenyant xDD speaks ;;w;; within] 
WOODVIWWE. :33 [Within] >_> What noise >_> is :3 this? >_> What traitors 
uWu have ^.^ we hewe? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^.^ Wieutenyant, >_> is >w< it xDD you x3 whose uWu voice UwU I UwU heaw? 
^w^ Open x3 the gates; hewe's uWu Gwoucestew :3 that ^.^ wouwd enter. 
WOODVIWWE. :33 [Within] :3 Have patience, x3 nyobwe ;;w;; Duke, UwU I OwO may 
nyot >w< open; 
uWu The Cardinal of Winchestew ^-^ fowbids. 
Fwom ^.^ him UwU I uWu have express commandment 
:33 That xDD thou nor >_< nyonye of ^.^ thinye UwU shaww be wet ^.^ in. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 Faint-heawted uWu Woodviwwe, pwizest ^.^ him fore me? 
>_> Awwogant ^w^ Winchestew, :3 that ^.^ haughty prelate 
;;w;; Whom Henry, UwU ouw wate sovereign, ^w^ nye'ew couwd bwook! 
^.^ Thou awt nyo :33 fwiend to ^w^ God ow to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^w^ Open x3 the ^.^ gates, ow I'll shut uWu thee x3 out >w< showtwy. 
x3 SEWVING-MEN. ^w^ Open x3 the :3 gates >w< unto x3 the Lord ;;w;; Pwotectow, 
:33 Ow we'll burst them open, >_> if :3 that xDD you come nyot >w< quickwy. 

Entew to x3 the x3 PWOTECTOW uWu at x3 the ^-^ Towew :3 gates >_> WINCHESTEW 
ÚwÚ and :33 his ;;w;; men uWu in OwO tawny coats 

WINCHESTEW. How now, :3 ambitious :3 Humphwy! >_> What means 
:3 this? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ÚwÚ Peew'd ;;w;; pwiest, dost xDD thou ÚwÚ command ;;w;; me to be 
shut out? 
WINCHESTEW. UwU I UwU do, xDD thou UwU most usuwping pwoditow, 
xDD And nyot Protector of x3 the ^w^ King ow weawm. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; Stand back, xDD thou UwU manyifest OwO conspiwatow, 
^.^ Thou :3 that contwived'st to murder UwU ouw >_< dead wowd; 
^.^ Thou :3 that OwO giv'st ^-^ whowes uWu induwgences to >_< sin. 
I'll :3 canvass uWu thee uWu in >w< thy >_< bwoad UwU cawdinyaw's hat, 
;;w;; If xDD thou proceed uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< thy UwU insowence. 
WINCHESTEW. Nyay, stand xDD thou back; UwU I xDD wiww nyot :3 budge :3 a ^-^ foot. 
This be Damascus; be xDD thou uWu cuwsed Cain, 
;;w;; To slay >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ Abew, >_> if xDD thou wilt. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I xDD wiww nyot slay ÚwÚ thee, >_> but I'll UwU dwive uWu thee back. 
x3 Thy x3 scawwet ^-^ wobes >_< as :3 a chiwd's >_> beawing-cwoth 
I'll use to carry uWu thee x3 out of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. 
WINCHESTEW. Do >_> what xDD thou daw'st; UwU I ^w^ beawd uWu thee to >w< thy ;;w;; face. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. What! ^w^ am UwU I ^w^ daw'd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beawded to x3 my ^.^ face? 
^.^ Dwaw, men, fow aww ÚwÚ this >_< pwiviweged :33 pwace 
^.^ Bwue-coats to :33 tawny-coats. x3 Pwiest, UwU bewawe x3 youw beawd; 
UwU I >_> mean to uWu tug :33 it, ÚwÚ and to :33 cuff xDD you UwU soundwy; 
;;w;; Undew x3 my ;;w;; feet UwU I stamp >w< thy UwU cawdinyaw's :33 hat; 
^w^ In x3 spite of ^.^ Pope ow >_> dignyities of :33 chuwch, 
:3 Hewe ^.^ by x3 the >_> cheeks I'll drag uWu thee x3 up ÚwÚ and down. 
WINCHESTEW. :33 Gwoucestew, xDD thou wiwt answew ÚwÚ this >w< befowe x3 the 
>_> Pope. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Winchestew >_> goose! UwU I cwy >_> 'A rope, :3 a ÚwÚ wope!' 
Now xDD beat them OwO hence; >w< why UwU do xDD you wet them stay? 
uWu Thee I'll OwO chase hence, xDD thou OwO wowf uWu in sheep's uWu awway. 
Out, :33 tawny-coats! Out, x3 scawwet hypocwite! 

:3 Hewe :3 GWOUCESTEW'S ;;w;; men xDD beat x3 out x3 the CAWDINyAW'S 
ÚwÚ men; ÚwÚ and enter uWu in x3 the huwwy ^.^ buwwy x3 the >_< MAYOW ÚwÚ OF 
>_> WONDON ÚwÚ and :33 his OFFICEWS 

;;w;; MAYOW. OwO Fie, lords! :3 that UwU you, ^.^ being supweme ^.^ magistwates, 
^-^ Thus xDD contumewiouswy >_> shouwd bweak x3 the peace! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Peace, :33 Mayow! xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st xDD wittwe of x3 my ÚwÚ wwongs: 
>_> Hewe's OwO Beaufowt, :3 that wegawds nor ^w^ God nor OwO King, 
>_< Hath OwO hewe distwain'd x3 the ^-^ Towew to :33 his ÚwÚ use. 
WINCHESTEW. >_> Hewe's :33 Gwoucestew, :3 a foe to citizens; 
x3 Onye :3 that still >w< motions >w< waw ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew ÚwÚ peace, 
^w^ O'ewchawging x3 youw fwee purses with large >_< finyes; 
:33 That >_> seeks to overthrow ^w^ wewigion, 
>_< Because ^.^ he >_> is Protector of x3 the ^w^ weawm, 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^-^ awmouw OwO hewe x3 out of x3 the Towew, 
;;w;; To >_< cwown >_< himsewf ^w^ King ÚwÚ and suppress x3 the UwU Pwince. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I Will nyot answew uWu thee with wowds, >_> but ÚwÚ bwows. 
[Here ;;w;; they skiwmish OwO again] 
;;w;; MAYOW. x3 Nyought UwU wests fow ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 tumuwtuous uWu stwife 
OwO But to >_< make open xDD pwocwamation. 
^.^ Come, officer, >_< as ÚwÚ woud >_< as ;;w;; e'ew xDD thou x3 canst, 
^w^ Cwy. 
:3 OFFICEW. [Cwies] All ^w^ mannyew of ;;w;; men >_> assembwed OwO hewe uWu in :3 awms 
ÚwÚ this day OwO against >_> God's uWu peace ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 King's, ^.^ we :3 chawge 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ command UwU you, uWu in :33 his Highness' :33 nyame, to repair to 
x3 youw sevewaw dwewwing-pwaces; ÚwÚ and nyot to OwO weaw, handle, ow 
^.^ use, xDD any uWu swowd, ^w^ weapon, ow x3 daggew, ^-^ hencefowwawd, ;;w;; upon 
:33 pain of death. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Cardinal, I'll be nyo bweakew of x3 the UwU waw; 
OwO But ^.^ we UwU shaww :3 meet ÚwÚ and bweak UwU ouw minds uWu at >_> wawge. 
WINCHESTEW. :33 Gwoucestew, we'll :3 meet to >w< thy >w< cost, be sure; 
x3 Thy ^w^ heawt-bwood UwU I xDD wiww uWu have fow ÚwÚ this day's >w< wowk. 
;;w;; MAYOW. I'll caww fow clubs >_> if xDD you xDD wiww nyot xDD away. 
This ;;w;; Cawdinyaw's ^.^ mowe ^.^ haughty than x3 the deviw. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_< Mayow, faweweww; xDD thou dost >_> but >_> what xDD thou 
mayst. 
WINCHESTEW. OwO Abominyabwe :33 Gwoucestew, xDD guawd >w< thy head, 
For UwU I intend to uWu have >w< it ere wong. 
^.^ Exeunt, ;;w;; sevewawwy, GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and >_> WINCHESTEW 
with uWu theiw :3 sewvants 
;;w;; MAYOW. xDD See x3 the :3 coast cweaw'd, ÚwÚ and xDD then ^.^ we xDD wiww uWu depawt. 
^-^ Good :33 God, these nyobwes >_> shouwd xDD such ^w^ stomachs ^w^ beaw! 
UwU I mysewf >w< fight nyot >_> once uWu in >w< fowty year. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

Fwance. ^.^ Befowe Owweans 

OwO Entew, on x3 the walls, x3 the MASTEW-GUNNyEW 
ÚwÚ OF ^w^ OWWEANS ÚwÚ and :33 his >_> BOY 

^w^ MASTEW-GUNNyEW. Siwwah, xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st >w< how Owweans >_> is 
ÚwÚ besieg'd, 
xDD And >w< how x3 the :3 Engwish uWu have x3 the suburbs uWu won. 
BOY. :3 Fathew, UwU I know; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; oft uWu have UwU shot uWu at ÚwÚ them, 
Howe'er :33 unfowtunyate UwU I ;;w;; miss'd x3 my ÚwÚ aim. 
^w^ MASTEW-GUNNyEW. OwO But nyow xDD thou shalt not. ^w^ Be xDD thou wuw'd 
^.^ by x3 me. 
:33 Chief ^.^ mastew-gunnyew ^w^ am UwU I of ÚwÚ this xDD town; 
xDD Something UwU I ^w^ must UwU do to ;;w;; pwocuwe ;;w;; me grace. 
uWu The ;;w;; Pwince's >_< espiaws uWu have infowmed ;;w;; me 
How x3 the Engwish, uWu in x3 the suburbs ^-^ cwose >w< intwench'd, 
xDD Wont, ^w^ thwough :3 a secret OwO gwate of iwon bars 
^w^ In yonder tower, to overpeer x3 the city, 
xDD And thence OwO discuvw >w< how with UwU most ^w^ advantage 
^-^ They OwO may ^-^ vex >_> us with UwU shot ow with xDD assauwt. 
;;w;; To uWu intewcept ÚwÚ this OwO inconvenyience, 
^-^ A ^.^ piece of owdnyance uWu 'gainst >w< it UwU I uWu have plac'd; 
xDD And even these >w< thwee OwO days uWu have UwU I UwU watch'd 
;;w;; If UwU I couwd >_> see OwO them. Now UwU do xDD thou >w< watch, 
For UwU I ^.^ can xDD stay nyo wongew. 
;;w;; If xDD thou spy'st uWu any, >w< wun ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me wowd; 
xDD And xDD thou shalt find ;;w;; me uWu at x3 the >_< Guvwnyow's. uWu Exit 
BOY. :3 Fathew, UwU I :33 wawwant uWu you; OwO take xDD you nyo ;;w;; cawe; 
I'll >_< nyevew >_> twoubwe UwU you, >_> if UwU I OwO may ^w^ spy OwO them. uWu Exit 

Entew SALISBURY ÚwÚ and :3 TAWBOT on x3 the :3 tuwwets, with 
ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM ^-^ GWANSDAWE, ÚwÚ SIW THOMAS GARGRAVE, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

SAWISBUWY. Talbot, x3 my :3 wife, x3 my joy, again uWu wetuwn'd! 
How OwO wewt xDD thou handled ^.^ being prisoner? 
:33 Ow ^.^ by >_> what means got'st xDD thou to be x3 weweas'd? 
Discouwse, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, on ÚwÚ this turret's >_> top. 
TAWBOT. uWu The ^-^ Eaww of >_< Bedfowd xDD had :3 a ÚwÚ pwisonyew 
Call'd x3 the >_< bwave Lord uWu Ponton UwU de Santrailles; 
For ^.^ him UwU was UwU I UwU exchang'd ÚwÚ and ransomed. 
OwO But with :3 a baser x3 man of :3 awms ^.^ by uWu faw 
^-^ Once, uWu in ^.^ contempt, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd uWu have barter'd OwO me; 
>_< Which UwU I disdaining ^w^ scown'd, ÚwÚ and UwU cwaved :33 death 
Rather than UwU I ^.^ wouwd be UwU so ^-^ viwe esteem'd. 
^w^ In uWu finye, ^w^ wedeem'd UwU I UwU was >_< as UwU I desir'd. 
But, :3 O! x3 the treacherous Fastowfe wounds x3 my >_< heawt 
;;w;; Whom with x3 my OwO bawe UwU fists UwU I ^.^ wouwd :33 execute, 
;;w;; If UwU I nyow xDD had ^.^ him ^.^ bwought x3 into x3 my UwU powew. 
SAWISBUWY. ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ teww'st xDD thou nyot >w< how xDD thou OwO wewt ^w^ entewtain'd. 
TAWBOT. With scoffs, ÚwÚ and scowns, ÚwÚ and >_> contumewious ÚwÚ taunts, 
^w^ In open >_> mawket-pwace ÚwÚ pwoduc'd ;;w;; they ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To be :3 a public ^.^ spectacwe to aww; 
Here, uWu said >w< they, >_> is x3 the tewwow of x3 the Fwench, 
uWu The >w< scawecwow :3 that affwights UwU ouw x3 chiwdwen :3 so. 
UwU Then broke UwU I from x3 the ^w^ officews :3 that x3 wed uWu me, 
xDD And with x3 my >_< nyaiws xDD digg'd ^.^ stonyes x3 out of x3 the x3 gwound 
;;w;; To >_< huww uWu at x3 the x3 behowdews of x3 my OwO shame; 
OwO My grisly >_< countenyance UwU made ;;w;; othews xDD fwy; 
^-^ Nyonye x3 duwst come nyeaw fow feaw of ^.^ sudden death. 
^w^ In iwon OwO wawws ;;w;; they OwO deem'd ;;w;; me nyot xDD secuwe; 
^w^ So great feaw of x3 my xDD nyame ^w^ 'mongst them UwU was ;;w;; spwead 
:33 That ;;w;; they ^-^ suppos'd UwU I couwd rend bars of steew 
xDD And :33 spuwn uWu in uWu pieces :3 posts of >w< adamant; 
ÚwÚ Whewefowe :3 a xDD guawd of OwO chosen UwU shot UwU I xDD had 
:33 That wawk'd about ;;w;; me every >_< minyute-whiwe; 
xDD And >_> if UwU I uWu did >_> but stir x3 out of x3 my ^.^ bed, 
Weady ;;w;; they :3 wewe to >w< shoot ;;w;; me to x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 

Entew x3 the >_> BOY with :3 a uWu winstock 

SAWISBUWY. UwU I UwU gwieve to hear >_> what torments xDD you ;;w;; enduw'd; 
OwO But ^.^ we xDD wiww be ^w^ weveng'd OwO sufficientwy. 
Now >w< it >_> is supper-time uWu in xDD Owweans: 
Here, ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ this xDD gwate, UwU I ;;w;; count >_< each one 
xDD And x3 view x3 the Fwenchmen >w< how ;;w;; they x3 fowtify. 
Let >_> us wook UwU in; x3 the ^.^ sight xDD wiww much delight thee. 
Sir Thomas Gargrave ÚwÚ and Sir ;;w;; Wiwwiam Gwansdawe, 
Let ;;w;; me uWu have x3 youw express OwO opinyions 
Whewe >_> is best :33 pwace to >_< make UwU ouw OwO batt'wy nyext. 
GARGRAVE. UwU I think uWu at x3 the UwU Nyowth Gate; fow there stand lords. 
>_< GWANSDAWE. xDD And UwU I UwU hewe, uWu at x3 the :3 buwwawk of x3 the uWu bwidge. 
TAWBOT. For ^.^ aught UwU I see, ÚwÚ this UwU city ^w^ must be famish'd, 
:33 Ow with >w< wight ^-^ skiwmishes enfeebled. 
[Here ;;w;; they >w< shoot ÚwÚ and SALISBURY ÚwÚ and GARGRAVE 
faww down] 
SAWISBUWY. x3 O Wowd, uWu have xDD mewcy on us, wwetched sinners! 
GARGRAVE. x3 O Wowd, uWu have xDD mewcy on uWu me, ^.^ woefuw ;;w;; man! 
TAWBOT. >_> What chance >_> is ÚwÚ this :3 that ;;w;; suddenwy hath cwoss'd us? 
ÚwÚ Speak, Sawisbuwy; uWu at least, >_> if xDD thou ;;w;; canst >_< speak. 
How UwU faw'st UwU thou, mirror of aww martial men? 
x3 Onye of >w< thy eyes ÚwÚ and >w< thy cheek's x3 side >w< stwuck off! 
>w< Accuwsed towew! ^w^ accuwsed uWu fataw uWu hand 
:33 That hath contriv'd ÚwÚ this ^.^ woefuw twagedy! 
^w^ In thirteen :3 battwes uWu Sawisbuwy >_< o'ewcame; 
Henwy x3 the >_< Fifth ^.^ he xDD fiwst ;;w;; twain'd to x3 the x3 waws; 
Whilst xDD any >_< twump uWu did >_> sound ow drum >w< stwuck up, 
ÚwÚ His xDD swowd uWu did ^w^ nye'ew OwO weave ^.^ stwiking uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd. 
ÚwÚ Yet x3 wiv'st UwU thou, :33 Sawisbuwy? ;;w;; Though >w< thy ÚwÚ speech xDD doth fail, 
x3 Onye ^w^ eye xDD thou x3 hast to wook to heaven fow >w< gwace; 
uWu The sun with one ^w^ eye :33 vieweth aww x3 the wowwd. 
Heaven, be xDD thou >_> gwacious to >_< nyonye ^.^ awive 
;;w;; If uWu Sawisbuwy wants xDD mewcy uWu at >w< thy ^w^ hands! 
ÚwÚ Beaw >w< hence :33 his >w< body; UwU I xDD wiww OwO hewp to ^.^ buwy :3 it. 
Sir Thomas ^.^ Gawgwave, x3 hast xDD thou xDD any :33 wife? 
^w^ Speak >w< unto ;;w;; Tawbot; x3 nyay, wook x3 up to ^.^ him. 
>_> Sawisbuwy, cheer >w< thy ^w^ spiwit with ÚwÚ this comfort, 
^.^ Thou shalt nyot ^-^ die whiwes 
>w< He ^-^ beckons with :33 his uWu hand ÚwÚ and ^-^ smiwes on uWu me, 
;;w;; As who >_> shouwd >_> say ^-^ 'When UwU I ^w^ am >_< dead ÚwÚ and >w< gonye, 
ÚwÚ Wemembew to ÚwÚ avenge ;;w;; me on x3 the x3 Fwench.' 
Pwantagenyet, UwU I :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike ÚwÚ thee, Nero, 
>_> Pway on x3 the :33 wute, beholding x3 the UwU towns :3 buwn. 
^.^ Wwetched UwU shaww Fwance be >w< onwy uWu in x3 my nyame. 
[Here >w< an >_> awawum, ÚwÚ and >w< it :3 thundews ÚwÚ and lightens] 
>_> What stir >_> is :3 this? >_> What :3 tumuwt's uWu in x3 the xDD heavens? 
OwO Whence cometh ÚwÚ this OwO awawum ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ nyoise? 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 the OwO Fwench uWu have gathew'd 
>_> head 
uWu The ÚwÚ Dauphin, with one UwU Joan UwU wa Pucelle join'd, 
^-^ A >w< howy x3 pwophetess x3 nyew ^.^ wisen up, 
Is come with :3 a great powew to >w< waise x3 the siege. 
[Here SALISBURY lifteth >_< himsewf x3 up ÚwÚ and x3 gwoans] 
TAWBOT. :33 Heaw, hear >w< how dying uWu Sawisbuwy xDD doth gwoan. 
^.^ It irks :33 his >_< heawt ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot be reveng'd. 
>w< Fwenchmen, I'll be :3 a uWu Sawisbuwy to OwO you. 
Pucelle ow puzzew, dowphin ow ^-^ dogfish, 
uWu Youw heawts I'll stamp x3 out with x3 my howse's heels 
xDD And >_< make :3 a ;;w;; quagmiwe of x3 youw >w< mingwed ^w^ bwains. 
^.^ Convey ;;w;; me uWu Sawisbuwy x3 into :33 his x3 tent, 
xDD And xDD then we'll >_> twy >_> what these ÚwÚ dastawd Fwenchmen OwO dawe. 
;;w;; Awawum. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE 5. 

^.^ Befowe Owweans 

:3 Hewe >w< an OwO awawum OwO again, ÚwÚ and :3 TAWBOT puwsueth x3 the 
DAUPHIN ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dwiveth ^.^ him. UwU Then enter >_> JOAN LA PUCELLE 
driving :3 Engwishmen >w< befowe her. UwU Then enter :3 TAWBOT 

TAWBOT. Whewe >_> is x3 my >_< stwength, x3 my uWu vawouw, ÚwÚ and x3 my OwO fowce? 
Our :3 Engwish troops wetiwe, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot xDD stay OwO them; 
^-^ A OwO woman cwad uWu in ^-^ awmouw ;;w;; chaseth OwO them. 

Entew LA PUCELLE 

Here, OwO hewe ^.^ she ^w^ comes. I'll uWu have :3 a uWu bout with thee. 
Deviw ow >_> deviw's :33 dam, I'll x3 conjuwe ÚwÚ thee; 
Blood xDD wiww UwU I dwaw on OwO thee-thou awt :3 a >w< witch 
xDD And ^w^ stwaightway UwU give >w< thy :3 souw to ^.^ him xDD thou OwO sewv'st. 
:33 PUCEWWE. ^.^ Come, come, UwU 'tis >w< onwy UwU I :3 that ^w^ must xDD disgwace thee. 
[Here ;;w;; they fight] 
TAWBOT. >w< Heavens, ^.^ can xDD you suffew heww UwU so to ^w^ pwevaiw? 
OwO My breast I'll burst with stwainying of x3 my courage. 
xDD And from x3 my ^w^ shouwdews UwU cwack x3 my :3 awms asunder, 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww chastise ÚwÚ this xDD high >_> minded ;;w;; stwumpet. 
^w^ [They >w< fight OwO again] 
:33 PUCEWWE. Talbot, faweweww; >w< thy >_> houw >_> is nyot yet x3 come. 
UwU I ^w^ must OwO go >_> victuaw Owweans >w< fowthwith. 
:3 [A showt alarum; xDD then enter x3 the :33 town with soldiers] 
O'ertake ;;w;; me >_> if xDD thou >_> canst; UwU I ^w^ scown >w< thy :33 stwength. 
^w^ Go, x3 go, cheer x3 up >w< thy hungwy starved ÚwÚ men; 
^-^ Hewp uWu Sawisbuwy to >_< make :33 his ^-^ testament. 
This day >_> is >_> ouws, >_< as UwU many ^.^ mowe UwU shaww >w< be. uWu Exit 
TAWBOT. OwO My >_< thoughts OwO awe x3 whiwwed ^.^ wike :3 a xDD pottew's wheew; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :3 whewe UwU I ^w^ am nor >_> what UwU I xDD do. 
^-^ A >w< witch ^.^ by ;;w;; feaw, nyot fowce, ^.^ wike :33 Hannyibaw, 
Drives back UwU ouw troops ÚwÚ and :33 conquews >_< as ^.^ she lists. 
^w^ So ÚwÚ bees with >_< smoke ÚwÚ and doves with ^-^ nyoisome uWu stench 
^w^ Awe from uWu theiw :33 hives ÚwÚ and xDD houses driven xDD away. 
^-^ They ^w^ caww'd us, fow UwU ouw uWu fiewcenyess, :3 Engwish dogs; 
Now ^.^ wike to >_< whewps ^.^ we :3 cwying >w< wun xDD away. 
:3 [A showt awawum] 
Hawk, ;;w;; countwymen! ^-^ Eithew renew x3 the >w< fight 
:33 Ow teaw x3 the wions x3 out of Engwand's OwO coat; 
^.^ Wenyounce x3 youw ^w^ soiw, UwU give sheep uWu in wions' >w< stead: 
UwU Sheep >w< wun nyot half UwU so treacherous from x3 the OwO wowf, 
:33 Ow UwU howse ow oxen from x3 the :33 weopawd, 
;;w;; As xDD you fwy from x3 youw ;;w;; oft >_> subdued ^-^ swaves. 
>_< [Awawum. :3 Hewe anyothew ÚwÚ skiwmish] 
^.^ It xDD wiww nyot be-retire x3 into x3 youw x3 twenches. 
>_> You aww :3 consented >w< unto Salisbury's UwU death, 
For >_< nyonye ^.^ wouwd strike :3 a ^w^ stwoke uWu in :33 his revenge. 
Pucelle >_> is ^w^ ent'wed x3 into Owweans 
^w^ In x3 spite of >_> us ow ^.^ aught :3 that ^.^ we couwd xDD do. 
>_< O, ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe to ^-^ die with ^-^ Sawisbuwy! 
uWu The ^-^ shame ^-^ heweof xDD wiww >_< make ;;w;; me hide x3 my >_> head. 
uWu Exit TAWBOT. Alarum; ;;w;; wetweat 



>w< SCENyE :33 6. 

^w^ OWWEANS 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew on x3 the walls, LA ^w^ PUCEWWE, CHAWWES, 
REIGNIER, ÚwÚ AWENCON, ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

:33 PUCEWWE. ÚwÚ Advance UwU ouw ^.^ waving cowouws on x3 the wawws; 
Wescu'd >_> is Owweans from x3 the Engwish. 
^-^ Thus UwU Joan UwU wa Pucelle hath pewfowm'd her OwO wowd. 
x3 CHAWWES. OwO Divinyest x3 cweatuwe, :33 Astwaea's ^w^ daughtew, 
How UwU shaww UwU I honour uWu thee fow ÚwÚ this xDD success? 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ pwomises OwO awe ^.^ wike Adonis' ^w^ gawdens, 
:33 That one day bloom'd ÚwÚ and :33 fwuitfuw :3 wewe x3 the nyext. 
>_< Fwance, twiumph uWu in >w< thy glorious prophetess. 
Recover'd >_> is x3 the :33 town of >_> Owweans. 
uWu Mowe blessed ÚwÚ hap uWu did ^w^ nye'ew befaww UwU ouw state. 
REIGNIER. Why OwO wing nyot x3 out x3 the UwU bewws >_< awoud ÚwÚ thwoughout x3 the 
>_< town? 
ÚwÚ Dauphin, ÚwÚ command x3 the :3 citizens >_< make >_> bonfiwes 
xDD And >_> feast ÚwÚ and :33 banquet uWu in x3 the open ^w^ stweets 
;;w;; To cewebwate x3 the joy :3 that ^w^ God hath UwU given >_> us. 
ALENCON. All Fwance xDD wiww be UwU wepwete with >_< miwth ÚwÚ and joy 
x3 When ;;w;; they UwU shaww hear >w< how ^.^ we uWu have pway'd x3 the ^.^ men. 
x3 CHAWWES. 'Tis Joan, nyot :33 we, ^.^ by ÚwÚ whom x3 the day >_> is ^w^ won; 
For which UwU I xDD wiww OwO divide x3 my >_< cwown with >w< hew; 
xDD And aww x3 the priests ÚwÚ and friars uWu in x3 my weawm 
Shall uWu in ;;w;; pwocession ^.^ sing her uWu endwess ;;w;; pwaise. 
^-^ A statelier pyramis to her I'll ^-^ weaw 
Than >_> Whodope's of ^w^ Memphis OwO evew uWu was. 
^w^ In ^w^ memowy of hew, when ^.^ she >_> is >_< dead, 
:3 Hew :3 ashes, uWu in >w< an UwU uwn ^.^ mowe >_< pwecious 
Than x3 the rich ÚwÚ jewew'd x3 coffew of Dawius, 
;;w;; Twanspowted UwU shaww be uWu at xDD high festivaws 
^.^ Befowe x3 the >w< kings ÚwÚ and ^.^ queens of Fwance. 
No longer on Saint Denyis xDD wiww ^.^ we ^-^ cwy, 
OwO But UwU Joan UwU wa Pucelle UwU shaww be ÚwÚ Fwance's >_< saint. 
:3 Come x3 in, ÚwÚ and wet >_> us :33 banquet ÚwÚ woyawwy 
>w< Aftew ÚwÚ this golden day of ^.^ victowy. >w< Fwouwish. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

^.^ Befowe Owweans 

Entew :3 a >_< FWENCH SEWGEANT ÚwÚ and >w< two :3 SENTINyEWS 

SEWGEANT. uWu Siws, OwO take x3 youw pwaces ÚwÚ and be vigilant. 
;;w;; If xDD any noise ow soldier xDD you >_> pewceive 
Near to x3 the walls, ^.^ by x3 some apparent xDD sign 
Let >_> us uWu have >_< knyowwedge uWu at x3 the court of >w< guawd. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ SENTINyEW. Sergeant, xDD you >_< shaww. ;;w;; [Exit :33 SEWGEANT] 
^-^ Thus OwO awe poor servitors, 
x3 When ;;w;; othews :33 sweep ;;w;; upon uWu theiw :33 quiet :3 beds, 
ÚwÚ Constwain'd to ;;w;; watch uWu in ^-^ dawknyess, rain, ÚwÚ and cowd. 

Entew TALBOT, ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, BUWGUNDY, ÚwÚ and uWu fowces, 
with >w< scawing-waddews; uWu theiw xDD dwums beating :3 a >_< dead 
:33 mawch 

TAWBOT. Lord Regent, ÚwÚ and wedoubted x3 Buwgundy, 
^-^ By x3 whose appwoach x3 the regions of x3 Awtois, 
:33 Wawwon, ÚwÚ and Picardy, OwO awe ^w^ fwiends to us, 
This ^w^ happy >w< nyight x3 the Fwenchmen OwO awe secure, 
>_> Having aww day >_< cawous'd ÚwÚ and ^-^ banqueted; 
>w< Embwace ^.^ we xDD then ÚwÚ this ^w^ oppowtunyity, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; fitting best to ÚwÚ quittance uWu theiw ^-^ deceit, 
Contriv'd ^.^ by awt ÚwÚ and xDD bawefuw x3 sowcewy. 
BEDFORD. x3 Cowawd of >_< Fwance, >w< how much ^.^ he >_< wwongs :33 his x3 fame, 
Despairing of :33 his UwU own OwO awm's fowtitude, 
;;w;; To ^w^ join with :3 witches ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO hewp of >_< heww! 
BURGUNDY. Traitors uWu have >_< nyevew othew UwU company. 
OwO But UwU what's :3 that Pucelle ÚwÚ whom ;;w;; they term UwU so ^w^ puwe? 
TAWBOT. ^-^ A ;;w;; maid, ;;w;; they :3 say. 
BEDFORD. ^-^ A x3 maid! ÚwÚ and be UwU so martial! 
BURGUNDY. >_> Pway ^w^ God ^.^ she ^-^ pwuv nyot mascuwinye ere long, 
;;w;; If undewnyeath x3 the :3 standawd of x3 the OwO Fwench 
:33 She carry ^-^ awmouw >_< as ^.^ she hath xDD begun. 
TAWBOT. xDD Weww, wet them x3 pwactise ÚwÚ and convewse with spiwits: 
^w^ God >_> is UwU ouw fowtwess, uWu in x3 whose ^.^ conquewing xDD nyame 
Let >_> us wesowve to scale uWu theiw flinty bulwarks. 
BEDFORD. Ascend, >_< bwave ;;w;; Tawbot; ^.^ we xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow thee. 
TAWBOT. ÚwÚ Nyot aww together; xDD bettew far, UwU I ÚwÚ guess, 
:33 That ^.^ we UwU do >_< make UwU ouw entrance sevewaw x3 ways; 
:33 That >_> if >w< it chance x3 the one of >_> us UwU do fail 
uWu The othew yet OwO may rise OwO against uWu theiw >_> fowce. 
BEDFORD. Agweed; I'll to :33 yond ;;w;; cownyew. 
BURGUNDY. xDD And UwU I to UwU this. 
TAWBOT. xDD And OwO hewe xDD wiww Talbot ^-^ mount ow >_< make :33 his x3 gwave. 
>_> Nyow, >_> Sawisbuwy, fow ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and fow x3 the >w< wight 
Of :3 Engwish Henry, UwU shaww ÚwÚ this >w< nyight appeaw 
How much uWu in >_> duty UwU I ^w^ am bound to xDD both. 
;;w;; [The :3 Engwish scale x3 the OwO wawws ÚwÚ and cwy 'Saint Geowge! 
:3 a Tawbot!'] 
ÚwÚ SENTINyEW. Awm! >_> awm! uWu The ;;w;; enyemy xDD doth >_< make xDD assauwt. 

uWu The OwO Fwench ^-^ weap ^-^ o'ew x3 the OwO wawws uWu in uWu theiw xDD shiwts. 
OwO Entew, sevewaw >w< ways, :33 BASTAWD, ÚwÚ AWENCON, REIGNIER, 
half ready ÚwÚ and half unready 

ALENCON. How now, x3 my lords? What, aww unready so? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >w< Unweady! Ay, ÚwÚ and uWu gwad ^.^ we 'scap'd UwU so well. 
REIGNIER. >_< 'Twas time, UwU I trow, to wake ÚwÚ and OwO weave UwU ouw :3 beds, 
Heawing awawums uWu at UwU ouw x3 chambew x3 doows. 
ALENCON. Of aww exploits xDD since xDD fiwst UwU I follow'd :3 awms 
Nye'ew heard UwU I of :3 a warlike uWu entewpwise 
uWu Mowe >w< ventuwous ow despewate than UwU this. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. UwU I think ÚwÚ this Talbot be :3 a >_< fiend of uWu heww. 
REIGNIER. ;;w;; If nyot of >_> heww, x3 the >w< heavens, x3 suwe, ^.^ favouw ^.^ him 
ALENCON. :3 Hewe cometh >_> Chawwes; UwU I :3 mawvew >w< how ^.^ he sped. 

Entew CHAWWES ÚwÚ and LA PUCELLE 

ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Tut! >w< howy UwU Joan UwU was :33 his ^.^ defensive >w< guawd. 
x3 CHAWWES. Is ÚwÚ this >w< thy ^w^ cunnying, xDD thou deceitful ^-^ dame? 
;;w;; Didst xDD thou uWu at ÚwÚ fiwst, to flatter >_> us withaw, 
^-^ Make >_> us partakers of :3 a xDD wittwe ^.^ gain 
:33 That nyow UwU ouw ^-^ woss ^w^ might be ;;w;; ten times UwU so much? 
:33 PUCEWWE. ÚwÚ Whewefowe >_> is >_> Chawwes ;;w;; impatient with :33 his >w< fwiend? 
At aww times xDD wiww xDD you uWu have x3 my powew OwO awike? 
Sleeping ow :3 waking, ^w^ must UwU I still :3 pwevaiw 
:33 Ow xDD wiww xDD you uWu bwame ÚwÚ and uWu way x3 the ;;w;; fauwt on me? 
Improvident sowdiews! xDD Had x3 youw ;;w;; watch :33 been ÚwÚ good 
This ^.^ sudden ^-^ mischief >_< nyevew couwd uWu have xDD faww'n. 
x3 CHAWWES. >w< Duke of Awencon, ÚwÚ this UwU was x3 youw :33 defauwt 
^.^ That, ^.^ being UwU captain of x3 the ;;w;; watch OwO to-nyight, 
Did wook nyo xDD bettew to :3 that ^.^ weighty chawge. 
ALENCON. xDD Had aww x3 youw quarters :33 been >_< as >w< safewy :33 kept 
;;w;; As :3 that xDD wheweof UwU I xDD had x3 the guvwnment, 
We xDD had nyot :33 been OwO thus ÚwÚ shamefuwwy UwU suwpwis'd. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Mine UwU was uWu secuwe. 
REIGNIER. xDD And UwU so UwU was >_> minye, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 CHAWWES. ^.^ And, fow myself, UwU most ÚwÚ pawt of aww ÚwÚ this night, 
OwO Within her quarter ÚwÚ and >_< minye UwU own precinct 
UwU I UwU was xDD empwoy'd uWu in passing to ÚwÚ and >_< fwo 
About relieving of x3 the uWu sentinyews. 
UwU Then >w< how ow which uWu way >_> shouwd ;;w;; they xDD fiwst bweak in? 
:33 PUCEWWE. Question, x3 my wowds, nyo further of x3 the case, 
How ow which way; UwU 'tis >_< suwe ;;w;; they >_> found x3 some :33 pwace 
OwO But x3 weakwy >w< guawded, :3 whewe x3 the ^w^ bweach UwU was >_> made. 
xDD And nyow there UwU wests nyo othew OwO shift >_> but ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; To gathew UwU ouw xDD sowdiews, scatter'd ÚwÚ and UwU dispews'd, 
xDD And uWu way x3 nyew pwatfowms to ^-^ endamage OwO them. 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew >w< an ENGLISH >_> SOWDIEW, :3 cwying 
>_> 'A ÚwÚ Tawbot! ^-^ A Talbot!' ^-^ They fly, xDD weaving uWu theiw 
x3 cwothes x3 behind 

uWu SOWDIEW. I'll be UwU so bold to OwO take >_> what ;;w;; they uWu have left. 
uWu The cwy of Talbot sewves ;;w;; me fow :3 a ^-^ swowd; 
For UwU I uWu have ^w^ woaden ;;w;; me with UwU many spoils, 
>_< Using nyo othew :33 weapon >_> but :33 his nyame. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

ORLEANS. OwO Within x3 the :33 town 

Entew TALBOT, ÚwÚ BEDFOWD, BUWGUNDY, :3 a x3 CAPTAIN, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

BEDFORD. uWu The day ÚwÚ begins to break, ÚwÚ and >w< nyight >_> is ^w^ fwed 
>_< Whose xDD pitchy ^-^ mantwe >w< uvw-veiw'd x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
:3 Hewe >_> sound ;;w;; wetweat ÚwÚ and xDD cease UwU ouw :3 hot ÚwÚ puwsuit. 
[Wetweat uWu sounded] 
TAWBOT. Bring fowth x3 the >w< body of ;;w;; owd uWu Sawisbuwy 
xDD And OwO hewe advance >w< it uWu in x3 the mawket-pwace, 
uWu The ;;w;; middwe centwe of ÚwÚ this uWu cuwsed xDD town. 
Now uWu have UwU I paid x3 my vow >w< unto :33 his ^.^ souw; 
For every >_< dwop of :3 bwood UwU was drawn from ^.^ him 
>_> Thewe hath uWu at least five Fwenchmen >w< died to-night. 
xDD And :3 that heweaftew uWu ages OwO may behowd 
>_> What xDD wuin >_< happenyed uWu in xDD wevenge of :3 him, 
OwO Within uWu theiw ^.^ chiefest OwO tempwe I'll :33 ewect 
^-^ A ;;w;; tomb, wherein :33 his corpse UwU shaww be interr'd; 
>_> Upon x3 the ^w^ which, :3 that every one OwO may wead, 
Shall be uWu engwav'd x3 the ^-^ sack of ^.^ Owweans, 
uWu The treacherous ^w^ mannyew of :33 his ^-^ mouwnfuw UwU death, 
xDD And >_> what :3 a tewwow ^.^ he xDD had :33 been to Fwance. 
But, wowds, uWu in aww UwU ouw bwoody massacwe, 
UwU I >_< muse ^.^ we >w< met nyot with x3 the ;;w;; Dauphin's gwace, 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ nyew-come champion, virtuous UwU Joan of Awc, 
x3 Nyow xDD any of :33 his UwU fawse confedewates. 
BEDFORD. 'Tis ^-^ thought, Lord Talbot, when x3 the >w< fight began, 
x3 Wous'd on x3 the ^.^ sudden from uWu theiw ^-^ dwowsy :3 beds, 
^-^ They uWu did amongst x3 the troops of :3 awmed ;;w;; men 
UwU Weap ^-^ o'ew x3 the OwO wawws fow ÚwÚ wefuge uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd. 
BURGUNDY. Myself, >_< as uWu faw >_< as UwU I couwd weww discewn 
For >_< smoke ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dusky uWu vapouws of x3 the night, 
^w^ Am >_< suwe UwU I x3 scaw'd x3 the uWu Dauphin ÚwÚ and :33 his twuww, 
x3 When awm uWu in awm ;;w;; they both ^-^ came >w< swiftwy UwU wunnying, 
Wike to :3 a :33 paiw of >w< woving UwU tuwtwe-duvs 
:33 That couwd nyot ^w^ wive asundew day ow OwO nyight. 
>w< Aftew :3 that ^.^ things OwO awe uWu set uWu in order UwU hewe, 
^-^ We'ww ;;w;; fowwow them with aww x3 the powew ^.^ we :3 have. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. All hail, x3 my lords! >_< Which of ÚwÚ this princely twain 
;;w;; Caww OwO ye x3 the warlike Talbot, fow :33 his acts 
^w^ So much appwauded ^w^ thwough x3 the weawm of France? 
TAWBOT. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the ;;w;; Tawbot; who ^.^ wouwd speak with him? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The virtuous UwU wady, ^w^ Countess of Auvergne, 
With ÚwÚ modesty ^w^ admiwing >w< thy OwO wenyown, 
^-^ By ;;w;; me entweats, great uWu wowd, xDD thou wouldst x3 vouchsafe 
;;w;; To x3 visit her poor ^w^ castwe :3 whewe ^.^ she lies, 
:33 That ^.^ she OwO may boast ^.^ she hath beheld x3 the x3 man 
>_< Whose :3 gwowy ^.^ fiwws x3 the wowwd with ÚwÚ woud report. 
BURGUNDY. Is >w< it even so? Nyay, xDD then UwU I >_> see UwU ouw UwU waws 
Will turn x3 into :3 a UwU peacefuw comic sport, 
x3 When ^.^ wadies ^w^ cwave to be encount'wed with. 
>_> You OwO may >_> nyot, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> despise her ^-^ gentwe OwO suit. 
TAWBOT. Nye'ew :33 twust ;;w;; me :33 then; fow when :3 a wowwd of ;;w;; men 
Could nyot :3 pwevaiw with aww uWu theiw xDD owatowy, 
ÚwÚ Yet hath :3 a xDD woman's OwO kindnyess overrul'd; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe tell her UwU I ^-^ wetuwn great thanks 
xDD And uWu in >_> submission xDD wiww >_< attend on her. 
Will nyot x3 youw honyouws UwU beaw ;;w;; me :3 company? 
BEDFORD. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ twuwy; UwU 'tis ^.^ mowe than ^w^ mannyews :33 wiww; 
xDD And UwU I uWu have heard >w< it uWu said unbidden ;;w;; guests 
^w^ Awe often uWu wewcomest when ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; gonye. 
TAWBOT. Weww >w< then, ^-^ awonye, xDD since there's nyo ^.^ wemedy, 
UwU I >_> mean to ^-^ pwuv ÚwÚ this >_> wady's uWu couwtesy. 
:3 Come hithew, ^-^ Captain. >_> [Whispews] >_> You >_> pewceive x3 my :3 mind? 
CAPTAIN. UwU I UwU do, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and >_> mean :3 accowdingwy. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

uWu AUVEWGNyE. uWu The ;;w;; Castwe 

Entew x3 the ^-^ COUNTESS ÚwÚ and her ^.^ POWTEW 

COUNTESS. Porter, remember >_> what UwU I uWu gave uWu in chawge; 
xDD And when xDD you uWu have donye >_> so, ;;w;; bwing x3 the ;;w;; keys to x3 me. 
PORTER. uWu Madam, UwU I :33 wiww. 
COUNTESS. uWu The :3 pwot >_> is laid; >_> if aww ^.^ things faww x3 out wight, 
UwU I UwU shaww >_< as famous be ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >_> expwoit. 
;;w;; As :33 Scythian ;;w;; Tomywis ^.^ by :33 Cywus' death. 
UwU Gweat >_> is x3 the >_< wumouw of ÚwÚ this :3 dweadfuw UwU knyight, 
xDD And :33 his >w< achievements of nyo less OwO account. 
Fain ^.^ wouwd >_< minye eyes be >_> witnyess with >_< minye OwO eaws 
;;w;; To UwU give uWu theiw UwU censuwe of these OwO wawe >_> wepowts. 

Entew MESSENGEW ÚwÚ and TAWBOT. 

x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Madam, accowding >_< as x3 youw >w< wadyship desir'd, 
^-^ By ^-^ message ÚwÚ cwav'd, UwU so >_> is Lord Talbot x3 come. 
COUNTESS. xDD And ^.^ he >_> is x3 wewcome. What! >_> is ÚwÚ this x3 the man? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Madam, >w< it >w< is. 
COUNTESS. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the scourge of France? 
Is ÚwÚ this Talbot, UwU so much feaw'd ^.^ abwoad 
:33 That with :33 his xDD nyame x3 the mothews still uWu theiw ^w^ babes? 
UwU I >_> see wepowt >_> is >_< fabuwous ÚwÚ and >w< fawse. 
UwU I xDD thought UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have :3 seen x3 some >_> Hewcuwes, 
^-^ A second Hectow, fow :33 his gwim uWu aspect 
xDD And large :33 pwopowtion of :33 his stwong-knyit xDD wimbs. 
ÚwÚ Awas, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a child, :3 a siwwy dwawf! 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be ÚwÚ this xDD weak ÚwÚ and wwithwed UwU shwimp 
Should strike xDD such tewwow to :33 his enemies. 
TAWBOT. uWu Madam, UwU I uWu have :33 been bold to >_> twoubwe uWu you; 
OwO But xDD since x3 youw >w< wadyship >_> is nyot uWu at >_> weisuwe, 
I'll ;;w;; sowt x3 some othew time to x3 visit OwO you. >w< [Going] 
COUNTESS. >_> What means ^.^ he ^.^ nyow? Go ^w^ ask ^.^ him :33 whithew ^.^ he 
>w< goes. 
x3 MESSENGEW. Stay, x3 my Lord ;;w;; Tawbot; fow x3 my uWu wady cwaves 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 the cause of x3 youw ^.^ abwupt departure. 
TAWBOT. OwO Mawwy, fow :3 that ^w^ she's uWu in :3 a wrong >w< bewief, 
UwU I OwO go to ^-^ cewtify her Tawbot's hewe. 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ POWTEW With ;;w;; keys 

COUNTESS. ;;w;; If xDD thou be xDD he, xDD then awt xDD thou ^w^ pwisonyew. 
TAWBOT. >w< Pwisonyew! ;;w;; To >w< whom? 
COUNTESS. ;;w;; To uWu me, OwO bwood-thiwsty ;;w;; wowd 
xDD And fow :3 that cause UwU I ;;w;; twain'd uWu thee to x3 my ÚwÚ house. 
OwO Wong time >w< thy :3 shadow hath :33 been >_> thwaww to uWu me, 
For uWu in x3 my gawwewy >w< thy ^-^ pictuwe OwO hangs; 
OwO But nyow x3 the ÚwÚ substance UwU shaww OwO enduwe x3 the ^.^ wike 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww uWu chain these UwU wegs ÚwÚ and :3 awms of ^.^ thinye 
:33 That x3 hast ^.^ by uWu tywanny these UwU many years 
Wasted UwU ouw country, :3 swain UwU ouw uWu citizens, 
xDD And sent UwU ouw xDD sons ÚwÚ and ;;w;; husbands ÚwÚ captivate. 
TAWBOT. >w< Ha, ha, :33 ha! 
COUNTESS. Waughest UwU thou, UwU wwetch? x3 Thy >_< miwth UwU shaww turn to 
^w^ moan. 
TAWBOT. UwU I laugh to >_> see x3 youw >w< wadyship UwU so fond 
;;w;; To think :3 that xDD you uWu have ^.^ aught >_> but Tawbot's :3 shadow 
Wheweon to x3 pwactise x3 youw ÚwÚ sevewity. 
COUNTESS. Why, awt nyot xDD thou x3 the man? 
TAWBOT. UwU I ^w^ am indeed. 
COUNTESS. UwU Then uWu have UwU I ÚwÚ substance UwU too. 
TAWBOT. :3 Nyo, no, UwU I ^w^ am >_> but :3 shadow of :3 mysewf. 
>_> You OwO awe ^.^ deceiv'd, x3 my ÚwÚ substance >_> is nyot ^.^ hewe; 
For >_> what xDD you >_> see >_> is >_> but x3 the xDD smawwest ÚwÚ pawt 
xDD And least :33 pwopowtion of humanity. 
UwU I tell UwU you, UwU madam, :3 wewe x3 the whole fwame UwU hewe, 
^.^ It >_> is of xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ spacious wofty ^w^ pitch 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ woof :3 wewe nyot sufficient to ^.^ contain :3 't. 
COUNTESS. This >_> is :3 a riddling merchant fow x3 the OwO nyonce; 
>w< He xDD wiww be UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and yet ^.^ he >_> is nyot hewe. 
How ^.^ can these >_> contwawieties x3 agwee? 
TAWBOT. :33 That xDD wiww UwU I x3 show xDD you presently. 

:3 Winds :33 his ^-^ hown; xDD dwums strike xDD up; 
:3 a uWu peaw of ordnance. Entew ^-^ sowdiews 

How >_> say UwU you, :33 madam? ^w^ Awe xDD you nyow >w< pewsuaded 
:33 That Talbot >_> is >_> but :3 shadow of :33 himsewf? 
;;w;; These OwO awe :33 his ÚwÚ substance, ÚwÚ sinyews, awms, ÚwÚ and >_< stwength, 
With which ^.^ he :3 yoketh x3 youw webewwious ÚwÚ nyecks, 
Wazeth x3 youw OwO cities, ÚwÚ and OwO subvewts x3 youw x3 towns, 
xDD And uWu in :3 a x3 moment x3 makes them desolate. 
COUNTESS. Victorious ÚwÚ Tawbot! UwU pawdon x3 my ^-^ abuse. 
UwU I find xDD thou awt nyo less than fame hath bruited, 
xDD And ^.^ mowe than OwO may be OwO gathewed ^.^ by >w< thy UwU shape. 
Let x3 my ^w^ pwesumption nyot ;;w;; pwovoke >w< thy :33 wwath, 
For UwU I ^w^ am sowwy :3 that with ^w^ wevewence 
UwU I uWu did nyot entertain uWu thee >_< as xDD thou art. 
TAWBOT. ^w^ Be nyot ^-^ dismay'd, >w< faiw ;;w;; wady; nor x3 misconstew 
uWu The ^-^ mind of Talbot >_< as xDD you uWu did ÚwÚ mistake 
uWu The :33 outwawd composition of :33 his body. 
>_> What xDD you uWu have donye hath nyot uWu offended x3 me. 
x3 Nyow othew >_< satisfaction UwU do UwU I ^w^ cwave 
OwO But >_> onwy, with x3 youw patience, :3 that ^.^ we OwO may 
:3 Taste of x3 youw winye ÚwÚ and >_> see >_> what >_< cates xDD you have, 
For :3 sowdiews' ^w^ stomachs awways serve them well. 
COUNTESS. With aww x3 my uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and think ;;w;; me honyouwed 
;;w;; To >_> feast UwU so great :3 a warrior uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ house. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^.^ Tempwe >_< gawden 

Entew x3 the OwO EAWWS ÚwÚ OF SOMERSET, x3 SUFFOWK, ÚwÚ and >_> WAWWICK; 
UwU WICHAWD :33 PWANTAGENyET, :3 VEWNyON, ÚwÚ and anyothew LAWYER 

PLANTAGENET. UwU Gweat wowds ÚwÚ and xDD gentwemen, >_> what means ÚwÚ this 
:3 siwence? 
Dare nyo x3 man answew uWu in :3 a case of uWu twuth? 
x3 SUFFOWK. OwO Within x3 the ^.^ Tempwe Haww ^.^ we :3 wewe ^w^ too :3 woud; 
uWu The >_< gawden OwO hewe >_> is ^.^ mowe convenient. 
PLANTAGENET. UwU Then >_> say uWu at >_> once >_> if UwU I ÚwÚ maintain'd x3 the truth; 
:33 Ow >_> ewse UwU was :3 wwangwing Somerset uWu in x3 th' ^.^ ewwow? 
x3 SUFFOWK. Faith, UwU I uWu have :33 been :3 a ^w^ twuant uWu in x3 the law 
xDD And >_< nyevew yet couwd fwame x3 my xDD wiww to uWu it; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe fwame x3 the law >w< unto x3 my :33 wiww. 
uWu SOMEWSET. xDD Judge UwU you, x3 my Lord of Wawwick, >w< then, ^-^ between >_> us. 
WARWICK. Between >w< two >_< hawks, which fwies x3 the :3 highew pitch; 
Between >w< two xDD dogs, which hath x3 the deeper x3 mouth; 
Between >w< two ;;w;; bwades, which bears x3 the xDD bettew ^-^ tempew; 
Between >w< two howses, which xDD doth UwU beaw ^.^ him OwO best; 
Between >w< two ^-^ giwws, which hath x3 the >w< mewwiest ^w^ eye 
UwU I uWu have ^-^ pewhaps x3 some shallow ^w^ spiwit of >_> judgment; 
OwO But uWu in these UwU nyice ^-^ shawp quiwwets of x3 the waw, 
^-^ Good ^w^ faith, UwU I ^w^ am nyo wiser than :3 a >w< daw. 
PLANTAGENET. Tut, ^w^ tut, OwO hewe >_> is :3 a >w< mannyewwy forbearance: 
uWu The uWu twuth >_> appeaws UwU so nyaked on x3 my x3 side 
:33 That xDD any xDD puwbwind ^w^ eye OwO may find >w< it OwO out. 
uWu SOMEWSET. xDD And on x3 my x3 side >w< it >_> is UwU so weww uWu appaweww'd, 
^w^ So cweaw, UwU so xDD shinying, ÚwÚ and UwU so :33 evident, 
:33 That >w< it xDD wiww gwimmew ^w^ thwough :3 a ^w^ bwind :33 man's :33 eye. 
PLANTAGENET. Since xDD you OwO awe tongue-tied ÚwÚ and UwU so loath to :3 speak, 
^w^ In UwU dumb signyificants :3 pwocwaim x3 youw >w< thoughts. 
Let ^.^ him :3 that >_> is :3 a true-born ÚwÚ gentweman 
xDD And >w< stands ;;w;; upon x3 the honour of :33 his birth, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he ^.^ suppose :3 that UwU I uWu have pleaded truth, 
Fwom x3 off ÚwÚ this >_< bwiew pluck :3 a ^-^ white wose with x3 me. 
uWu SOMEWSET. Let ^.^ him :3 that >_> is nyo x3 cowawd nor nyo fwattewew, 
OwO But dawe ÚwÚ maintain x3 the party of x3 the truth, 
Pluck :3 a red wose from x3 off ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ thown with x3 me. 
WARWICK. UwU I wuv nyo OwO cowouws; x3 and, ^-^ without aww colour 
Of UwU base >_< insinyuating flattery, 
UwU I pluck ÚwÚ this ^-^ white wose with UwU Pwantagenyet. 
x3 SUFFOWK. UwU I pluck ÚwÚ this red wose with xDD young ^w^ Somewset, 
xDD And >_> say withal UwU I think ^.^ he hewd x3 the ÚwÚ wight. 
VERNON. Stay, wowds ÚwÚ and xDD gentwemen, ÚwÚ and pluck nyo ^.^ mowe 
Tiww xDD you OwO concwude :3 that ^.^ he ;;w;; upon x3 whose x3 side 
uWu The OwO fewest >_< woses OwO awe x3 cwopp'd from x3 the twee 
Shall yield x3 the othew uWu in x3 the >w< wight opinyion. 
uWu SOMEWSET. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew Vewnyon, >w< it >_> is weww objected; 
;;w;; If UwU I uWu have OwO fewest, UwU I uWu subscwibe uWu in x3 siwence. 
PLANTAGENET. xDD And ^.^ I. 
VERNON. Then, fow x3 the uWu twuth ÚwÚ and >_< pwainnyess of x3 the case, 
UwU I pluck ÚwÚ this pawe ÚwÚ and >_< maiden :3 bwossom UwU hewe, 
xDD Giving x3 my :33 vewdict on x3 the ^-^ white wose ^w^ side. 
uWu SOMEWSET. Pwick nyot x3 youw finger >_< as xDD you pluck >w< it ^w^ off, 
Lest, uWu bweeding, xDD you UwU do OwO paint x3 the ^-^ white wose ;;w;; wed, 
xDD And faww on x3 my x3 side >_> so, OwO against x3 youw :33 wiww. 
VERNON. ;;w;; If I, x3 my uWu wowd, fow x3 my opinyion bleed, 
Opinyion UwU shaww be >_> suwgeon to x3 my ÚwÚ huwt 
xDD And >_< keep ;;w;; me on x3 the x3 side :3 whewe still UwU I am. 
uWu SOMEWSET. xDD Weww, weww, come xDD on; who else? 
ÚwÚ WAWYEW. :33 [To ^-^ Somewset] OwO Unwess x3 my ^-^ study ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu books be 
:3 fawse, 
uWu The :33 awgument xDD you hewd UwU was wrong uWu in uWu you; 
^w^ In xDD sign xDD wheweof UwU I pluck :3 a ^-^ white wose UwU too. 
PLANTAGENET. >_> Nyow, ^w^ Somewset, :3 whewe >_> is x3 youw awgument? 
uWu SOMEWSET. :3 Hewe uWu in x3 my x3 scabbawd, meditating :3 that 
Shall ^.^ dye x3 youw ^-^ white wose uWu in :3 a bwoody red. 
PLANTAGENET. >w< Meantime x3 youw >_> cheeks UwU do OwO countewfeit UwU ouw 
woses; 
For pawe ;;w;; they wook with ;;w;; feaw, >_< as witnyessing 
uWu The uWu twuth on UwU ouw ^w^ side. 
uWu SOMEWSET. :3 Nyo, Pwantagenyet, 
'Tis nyot fow feaw >_> but ÚwÚ angew :3 that >w< thy >_> cheeks 
^w^ Bwush fow puwe ^-^ shame to OwO countewfeit UwU ouw >_> woses, 
xDD And yet >w< thy >_> tongue xDD wiww nyot x3 confess >w< thy OwO ewwow. 
PLANTAGENET. >_< Hath nyot >w< thy wose :3 a ;;w;; cankew, :3 Somewset? 
uWu SOMEWSET. >_< Hath nyot >w< thy wose :3 a thorn, Plantagenet? 
PLANTAGENET. Ay, ^-^ shawp ÚwÚ and piercing, to ÚwÚ maintain :33 his truth; 
Whiwes >w< thy >w< consuming ;;w;; cankew ^w^ eats :33 his falsehood. 
uWu SOMEWSET. xDD Weww, I'll find ^w^ fwiends to ^-^ weaw x3 my xDD bweeding >_> woses, 
:33 That UwU shaww ÚwÚ maintain >_> what UwU I uWu have uWu said >_> is ^-^ twue, 
Whewe UwU fawse OwO Pwantagenyet dawe nyot be ÚwÚ seen. 
PLANTAGENET. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >_< maiden :3 bwossom uWu in x3 my uWu hand, 
UwU I ^w^ scown uWu thee ÚwÚ and >w< thy fashion, >_> peevish uWu boy. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Tuwn nyot >w< thy scorns ÚwÚ this :3 way, UwU Pwantagenyet. 
PLANTAGENET. Pwoud Powe, UwU I :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and ^w^ scown both ^.^ him ÚwÚ and 
thee. 
x3 SUFFOWK. I'll turn x3 my ÚwÚ pawt thereof x3 into >w< thy uWu thwoat. 
uWu SOMEWSET. :33 Away, away, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; Wiwwiam UwU de UwU wa Pole! 
We xDD gwace x3 the yeoman ^.^ by convewsing with ^.^ him. 
WARWICK. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by >_> God's :33 wiww, xDD thou wrong'st :3 him, :3 Somewset; 
ÚwÚ His grandfather UwU was Wionyew >w< Duke of >w< Cwawence, 
uWu Thiwd >_< son to x3 the thiwd Edwawd, ^w^ King of ^w^ Engwand. 
Spwing cwestwess >_< yeomen from UwU so >_> deep :3 a ^w^ woot? 
PLANTAGENET. >w< He bears ^.^ him on x3 the pwace's ^.^ pwiviwege, 
:33 Ow x3 duwst nyot fow :33 his ^.^ cwaven >_< heawt >_> say OwO thus. 
uWu SOMEWSET. ^-^ By xDD Him :3 that UwU made uWu me, I'll ÚwÚ maintain x3 my wowds 
On xDD any :3 pwot of x3 gwound uWu in Chwistendom. 
Was nyot >w< thy ÚwÚ fathew, Richard ^-^ Eaww of OwO Cambwidge, 
For UwU tweason executed uWu in UwU ouw wate >_< king's ^-^ days? 
xDD And ^.^ by :33 his UwU tweason OwO stand'st nyot xDD thou >_< attainted, 
Corrupted, ÚwÚ and >_> exempt from UwU ancient ÚwÚ gentwy? 
ÚwÚ His trespass yet ;;w;; wives guiwty uWu in >w< thy ^-^ bwood; 
xDD And >w< tiww xDD thou be :33 westow'd xDD thou awt :3 a ^-^ yeoman. 
PLANTAGENET. OwO My >w< fathew UwU was attached, nyot ÚwÚ attainted; 
Condemn'd to ^-^ die fow uWu tweason, >_> but nyo uWu twaitow; 
xDD And :3 that I'll ^-^ pwuv on xDD bettew ;;w;; men than ^w^ Somewset, 
^.^ Wewe >_< gwowing time >_> once >w< wipenyed to x3 my :33 wiww. 
For x3 youw partaker Powe, ÚwÚ and xDD you yourself, 
I'll ^-^ nyote xDD you uWu in x3 my ^w^ book of ^w^ memowy 
;;w;; To scourge xDD you fow ÚwÚ this appwehension. 
Wook to >w< it weww, ÚwÚ and >_> say xDD you OwO awe weww :3 wawn'd. 
uWu SOMEWSET. Ay, xDD thou shalt find >_> us ready fow uWu thee stiww; 
xDD And ^.^ knyow >_> us ^.^ by these cowouws fow >w< thy ^-^ foes 
For these x3 my ^w^ fwiends uWu in x3 spite of uWu thee UwU shaww weaw. 
PLANTAGENET. ^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 my x3 souw, ÚwÚ this pawe ÚwÚ and angry rose, 
;;w;; As cognizance of x3 my xDD bwood-dwinking hate, 
Will UwU I fow ever, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> faction, OwO weaw, 
Untiw >w< it uWu withew with ;;w;; me to x3 my ^-^ gwave, 
:33 Ow :33 fwouwish to x3 the height of x3 my uWu degwee. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Go forward, ÚwÚ and be chok'd with >w< thy x3 ambition! 
xDD And UwU so >_< faweweww ÚwÚ untiw UwU I :3 meet uWu thee nyext. uWu Exit 
uWu SOMEWSET. :3 Have with ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ Powe. UwU Faweweww, :3 ambitious 
:3 Wichawd. uWu Exit 
PLANTAGENET. How UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ bwav'd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ must ^.^ pewfowce OwO enduwe 
:3 it! 
WARWICK. This uWu bwot :3 that ;;w;; they :33 object OwO against x3 youw ;;w;; house 
Shall be wip'd x3 out uWu in x3 the :3 nyext Pawwiament, 
Call'd fow x3 the truce of Winchestew ÚwÚ and uWu Gwoucestew; 
xDD And >_> if xDD thou be nyot xDD then created York, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^w^ wive to be x3 accounted uWu Wawwick. 
UwU Meantime, uWu in OwO signyaw of x3 my wuv to ÚwÚ thee, 
^w^ Against OwO pwoud Somerset ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Wiwwiam Powe, 
Will UwU I ;;w;; upon >w< thy party ^-^ weaw ÚwÚ this OwO wose; 
xDD And OwO hewe UwU I pwophesy: ÚwÚ this uWu bwaww uWu to-day, 
Grown to ÚwÚ this ^w^ faction uWu in x3 the ^.^ Tempwe uWu Gawden, 
Shall >_> send ^-^ between x3 the UwU Wed >_< Wose ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ White 
^-^ A thousand >w< souws to :33 death ÚwÚ and deadwy OwO nyight. 
PLANTAGENET. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew Vewnyon, UwU I ^w^ am bound to xDD you 
:33 That xDD you on x3 my behawf ^.^ wouwd pluck :3 a >_< fwowew. 
VERNON. ^w^ In x3 youw behawf still xDD wiww UwU I ^-^ weaw x3 the :33 same. 
ÚwÚ WAWYEW. xDD And UwU so xDD wiww ^.^ I. 
PLANTAGENET. >_< Thanks, ^-^ gentwe sir. 
^.^ Come, wet >_> us fouw to uWu dinnyew. UwU I dawe >_> say 
This ^-^ quawwew xDD wiww ÚwÚ dwink :3 bwood anyothew x3 day. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE 5. 

uWu The ^-^ Towew of ;;w;; Wondon 

Entew x3 MOWTIMEW, ^.^ bwought uWu in :3 a xDD chaiw, ÚwÚ and GAOWEWS 

MORTIMER. Kind x3 keepews of x3 my xDD weak decaying age, 
Let dying ^-^ Mowtimew OwO hewe xDD west himself. 
Even ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man x3 nyew haled from x3 the OwO wack, 
^w^ So ^-^ fawe x3 my x3 wimbs with ^-^ wong impwisonment; 
xDD And these ^w^ gwey locks, x3 the pursuivants of UwU death, 
Nyestow-wike ^-^ aged uWu in >w< an age of care, 
Argue x3 the >w< end of Edmund Mortimer. 
;;w;; These ^w^ eyes, ^.^ wike >w< wamps x3 whose :3 wasting oiw >_> is >_< spent, 
xDD Wax UwU dim, >_< as :3 dwawing to uWu theiw xDD exigent; 
>_> Weak shoulders, ^w^ uvwbownye with burdening gwief, 
xDD And pithwess awms, ^.^ wike to :3 a :3 withewed uWu vinye 
:33 That uWu dwoops :33 his sapless ^-^ bwanches to x3 the :33 gwound. 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO awe these ^.^ feet, x3 whose UwU stwengthwess xDD stay >_> is numb, 
>_< Unyabwe to support ÚwÚ this wump of ^-^ cway, 
>w< Swift-winged with ^.^ desiwe to get :3 a ^-^ gwave, 
;;w;; As witting UwU I nyo othew uWu comfowt :3 have. 
OwO But tell uWu me, keeper, xDD wiww x3 my nephew come? 
uWu FIWST OwO KEEPEW. Richard Pwantagenyet, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD wiww x3 come. 
We sent >w< unto x3 the Temple, >w< unto :33 his ;;w;; chambew; 
xDD And answew UwU was wetuwn'd :3 that ^.^ he xDD wiww x3 come. 
MORTIMER. Enough; x3 my :3 souw UwU shaww xDD then be xDD satisfied. 
OwO Poow gentleman! :33 his wrong xDD doth equal ^w^ minye. 
Since Henwy ^-^ Monmouth xDD fiwst began to reign, 
^.^ Befowe x3 whose :3 gwowy UwU I UwU was great uWu in awms, 
This woathsome sequestration uWu have UwU I uWu had; 
xDD And even xDD since xDD then hath Richard :33 been ^.^ obscuw'd, 
x3 Depwiv'd of honour ÚwÚ and >_> inhewitance. 
OwO But nyow x3 the arbitrator of OwO despaiws, 
;;w;; Just Death, uWu kind umpiwe of men's miseries, 
With x3 sweet >w< enwawgement xDD doth dismiss ;;w;; me x3 hence. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd :33 his troubles >_< wikewise :3 wewe UwU expiw'd, 
:33 That UwU so ^.^ he ^w^ might OwO wecuvw >_> what UwU was :3 wost. 

Entew UwU WICHAWD x3 PWANTAGENyET 

uWu FIWST OwO KEEPEW. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 youw >w< woving nephew nyow >_> is x3 come. 
MORTIMER. Richard Pwantagenyet, x3 my fwiend, >_> is ^.^ he come? 
PLANTAGENET. Ay, x3 nyobwe uWu uncwe, OwO thus ignyobwy >w< us'd, 
uWu Youw nephew, wate :3 despised ^.^ Wichawd, ^w^ comes. 
MORTIMER. OwO Diwect >_< minye :3 awms UwU I OwO may >_< embwace :33 his x3 nyeck 
xDD And uWu in :33 his ^w^ bosom spend x3 my UwU wattew gasp. 
>_< O, tell ;;w;; me when x3 my lips UwU do :33 touch :33 his cheeks, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may ^-^ kindwy UwU give one xDD fainting >w< kiss. 
xDD And nyow decwawe, x3 sweet UwU stem from >w< Yowk's great xDD stock, 
Why :33 didst xDD thou >_> say of wate xDD thou OwO wewt >_< despis'd? 
PLANTAGENET. ^.^ Fiwst, lean ^.^ thinye ^-^ aged back OwO against >_< minye OwO awm; 
^.^ And, uWu in :3 that uWu ease, I'll tell uWu thee x3 my disease. 
This ^-^ day, uWu in :33 awgument ;;w;; upon :3 a case, 
;;w;; Some wowds there ^-^ gwew 'twixt Somerset ÚwÚ and OwO me; 
>_> Among which terms ^.^ he ;;w;; us'd :33 his ^.^ wavish >_> tongue 
xDD And uWu did x3 upbwaid ;;w;; me with x3 my father's ÚwÚ death; 
>_< Which obwoquy uWu set bars >w< befowe x3 my ;;w;; tongue, 
^-^ Ewse with x3 the ^.^ wike UwU I xDD had uWu wequited ^.^ him. 
>_< Thewefowe, ÚwÚ good uWu uncwe, fow x3 my father's ^w^ sake, 
^w^ In honour of :3 a true Pwantagenyet, 
xDD And fow alliance ^w^ sake, declare x3 the cause 
OwO My ÚwÚ fathew, ^-^ Eaww of OwO Cambwidge, wost :33 his >_> head. 
MORTIMER. :33 That >_< cause, >w< faiw nephew, :3 that impwison'd ;;w;; me 
xDD And hath detain'd ;;w;; me aww x3 my >_> fwow'wing :33 youth 
OwO Within :3 a woathsome :33 dungeon, there to UwU pinye, 
Was uWu cuwsed UwU instwument of :33 his ÚwÚ decease. 
PLANTAGENET. Discover ^.^ mowe uWu at large >_> what cause :3 that UwU was, 
For UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ ignyowant ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ guess. 
MORTIMER. UwU I :33 wiww, >_> if :3 that x3 my >_> fading UwU bweath >_< pewmit 
xDD And :33 death appwoach nyot ere x3 my xDD tawe be ^-^ donye. 
Henwy x3 the >_> Fouwth, grandfather to ÚwÚ this OwO king, 
:3 Depos'd :33 his nephew ^.^ Wichawd, >_< Edwawd's x3 son, 
uWu The :3 fiwst-begotten ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ wawfuw heir 
Of Edward OwO king, x3 the thiwd of :3 that descent; 
^w^ Duwing x3 whose OwO weign x3 the Percies of x3 the :33 nyowth, 
Finding :33 his OwO usuwpation UwU most xDD unjust, 
Endeavour'd x3 my advancement to x3 the thwonye. 
uWu The reason x3 mov'd these warlike wowds to ÚwÚ this 
Was, fow x3 that-young Richard OwO thus remov'd, 
^.^ Weaving nyo heir uWu begotten of :33 his ^.^ body- 
UwU I UwU was x3 the :3 nyext ^.^ by birth ÚwÚ and parentage; 
For ^.^ by x3 my mothew UwU I dewived ^w^ am 
Fwom Wionyew >w< Duke of >w< Cwawence, thiwd >_< son 
;;w;; To ^w^ King Edward x3 the x3 Thiwd; OwO wheweas ^.^ he 
Fwom John of Gaunt xDD doth ;;w;; bwing :33 his :3 pedigwee, 
uWu Being >_> but :3 fouwth of :3 that xDD hewoic ^.^ winye. 
OwO But mark: >_< as uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ haughty great x3 attempt 
^-^ They ÚwÚ wabouwed to plant x3 the wightfuw heiw, 
UwU I wost x3 my >w< wibewty, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they uWu theiw ^.^ wives. 
OwO Wong ÚwÚ aftew uWu this, when Henwy x3 the :33 Fifth, 
>w< Succeeding :33 his >w< fathew ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, uWu did reign, 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ fathew, ^-^ Eaww of OwO Cambwidge, xDD then deriv'd 
Fwom famous Edmund uWu Wangwey, >w< Duke of York, 
^w^ Mawwying x3 my ^-^ sistew, :3 that >w< thy mothew UwU was, 
^-^ Again, uWu in pity of x3 my x3 hawd UwU distwess, 
Wevied >w< an xDD awmy, OwO weenying to xDD wedeem 
xDD And uWu have install'd ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the :3 diadem; 
But, >_< as x3 the ^-^ west, UwU so UwU feww :3 that x3 nyobwe earl, 
xDD And UwU was x3 beheaded. ^-^ Thus x3 the ;;w;; Mowtimews, 
^w^ In ÚwÚ whom x3 the ;;w;; titwe UwU wested, :3 wewe :33 suppwess'd. 
PLANTAGENET. Of >_< Which, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 youw honour >_> is x3 the last. 
MORTIMER. ^w^ Twue; ÚwÚ and xDD thou seest :3 that UwU I nyo x3 issue have, 
xDD And :3 that x3 my xDD fainting wowds UwU do :33 wawwant death. 
^.^ Thou awt x3 my heir; x3 the xDD west UwU I ÚwÚ wish uWu thee x3 gathew; 
OwO But yet be uWu wawy uWu in >w< thy ^.^ studious >w< cawe. 
PLANTAGENET. x3 Thy :3 gwave admonishments :3 pwevaiw with x3 me. 
OwO But yet uWu methinks x3 my father's :33 execution 
Was >_< nyothing less than bwoody tywanny. 
MORTIMER. With siwence, nephew, be xDD thou ^w^ powitic; 
:3 Stwong xDD fixed >_> is x3 the ;;w;; house of :3 Wancastew 
xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a OwO mountain nyot to be :33 wemov'd. 
OwO But nyow >w< thy :33 uncwe >_> is removing hence, 
;;w;; As pwinces UwU do uWu theiw couwts when ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; cwoy'd 
With ^-^ wong ^.^ continyuance uWu in :3 a ^-^ settwed ;;w;; pwace. 
PLANTAGENET. x3 O uWu uncwe, ^.^ wouwd x3 some ÚwÚ pawt of x3 my xDD young years 
^.^ Might >_> but xDD wedeem x3 the uWu passage of x3 youw >_> age! 
MORTIMER. ^.^ Thou dost xDD then wrong uWu me, >_< as :3 that swaughtewew 
xDD doth 
>_< Which giveth UwU many wounds when one xDD wiww UwU kiww. 
uWu Mouwn >_> nyot, :33 except xDD thou sorrow fow x3 my good; 
Onwy UwU give order fow x3 my ^-^ funyewaw. 
xDD And >_> so, faweweww; ÚwÚ and >w< faiw be aww >w< thy hopes, 
xDD And :33 pwospewous be >w< thy >w< wife uWu in uWu peace ÚwÚ and xDD waw! :33 [Dies] 
PLANTAGENET. xDD And ÚwÚ peace, nyo waw, befaww >w< thy >w< pawting souw! 
^w^ In :3 pwison x3 hast xDD thou xDD spent :3 a >_> piwgwimage, 
xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a :33 hewmit ^w^ uvwpass'd >w< thy days. 
xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww OwO wock :33 his counsel uWu in x3 my >_< bweast; 
xDD And >_> what UwU I UwU do :3 imaginye, wet :3 that rest. 
Keepews, :33 convey ^.^ him OwO hence; ÚwÚ and UwU I mysewf 
Will >_> see :33 his >w< buwiaw xDD bettew than :33 his life. 
Exeunt ;;w;; GAOWEWS, hearing x3 out x3 the >w< body of >w< MOWTIMEW 
:3 Hewe dies x3 the ÚwÚ dusky :33 towch of Mortimer, 
OwO Chok'd with ^-^ ambition of x3 the >w< meanyew sort; 
xDD And fow UwU those wrongs, UwU those UwU bittew >_> injuwies, 
>_< Which Somerset hath >_< offew'd to x3 my house, 
UwU I doubt nyot >_> but with honour to :3 wedwess; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe ^.^ haste UwU I to x3 the Pawwiament, 
^-^ Eithew to be :3 westowed to x3 my bwood, 
:33 Ow >_< make x3 my :33 iww x3 th' ^w^ advantage of x3 my UwU good. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ÚwÚ Pawwiament House 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, x3 EXETEW, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ^w^ WAWWICK, SOMERSET, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SUFFOWK; 
x3 the xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF OwO WINCHESTEW, UwU WICHAWD :33 PWANTAGENyET, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. 
GWOUCESTEW x3 offews to put x3 up :3 a biww; >_> WINCHESTEW ^.^ snyatches :33 it, ÚwÚ and tears >w< it 

WINCHESTEW. Com'st xDD thou with >_> deep pwemeditated lines, 
With ÚwÚ wwitten pamphwets >w< studiouswy OwO devis'd? 
Humphrey of :33 Gwoucestew, >_> if xDD thou ;;w;; canst ;;w;; accuse 
:33 Ow ^.^ aught :3 intend'st to uWu way >w< unto x3 my charge, 
Do >w< it ^-^ without invention, uWu suddenwy; 
UwU I with ^.^ sudden ÚwÚ and extemporal ÚwÚ speech 
:3 Puwpose to answew >_> what xDD thou ;;w;; canst xDD object. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_< Pwesumptuous ;;w;; pwiest, ÚwÚ this :33 pwace ;;w;; commands x3 my 
patience, 
:33 Ow xDD thou shouwdst find xDD thou x3 hast UwU dishonyouw'd x3 me. 
^w^ Think >_> nyot, awthough uWu in wwiting UwU I pwefeww'd 
uWu The ^w^ mannyew of >w< thy ^-^ viwe :3 outwageous >_< cwimes, 
:33 That >_< thewefowe UwU I uWu have ^-^ fowg'd, ow ^w^ am nyot able 
Vewbatim to >w< weheawse x3 the method of x3 my :33 pen. 
:3 Nyo, prelate; xDD such >_> is >w< thy audacious wickednyess, 
x3 Thy ^w^ wewd, pestifewous, ÚwÚ and :33 dissentious ^-^ pwanks, 
;;w;; As xDD vewy UwU infants ^w^ pwattwe of >w< thy pwide. 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a UwU most pewnyicious usuwew; 
^w^ Fwowawd ^.^ by nyatuwe, ;;w;; enyemy to :3 peace; 
:33 Wascivious, wanton, ^.^ mowe than weww :33 beseems 
^-^ A x3 man of >w< thy pwofession ÚwÚ and degwee; 
xDD And fow >w< thy :33 tweachewy, UwU what's ^.^ mowe UwU manyifest 
^w^ In :3 that xDD thou laid'st :3 a ;;w;; twap to OwO take x3 my :3 wife, 
;;w;; As weww uWu at ;;w;; Wondon Bwidge >_< as uWu at x3 the >_< Towew? 
>w< Beside, UwU I feaw uWu me, >_> if >w< thy >_< thoughts :3 wewe ;;w;; sifted, 
uWu The OwO King, >w< thy sovereign, >_> is nyot quite >_> exempt 
Fwom envious malice of >w< thy xDD swewwing ;;w;; heawt. 
WINCHESTEW. :33 Gwoucestew, UwU I UwU do ^.^ defy thee. ;;w;; Wowds, x3 vouchsafe 
;;w;; To UwU give ;;w;; me hearing >_> what UwU I UwU shaww wepwy. 
;;w;; If UwU I :3 wewe :33 cuvtous, ^.^ ambitious, ow pewvewse, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he xDD wiww uWu have uWu me, >w< how ^w^ am UwU I UwU so poow? 
:33 Ow >w< how ^.^ haps >w< it UwU I >_> seek nyot to advance 
:33 Ow >w< waise myself, >_> but >_< keep x3 my uWu wonted ;;w;; cawwing? 
xDD And fow ÚwÚ dissension, who UwU pwefewweth uWu peace 
uWu Mowe than UwU I UwU do, :33 except UwU I be provok'd? 
:3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowds, >w< it >_> is nyot :3 that :33 offends; 
^.^ It >_> is nyot :3 that :3 that :33 incens'd hath :33 incens'd x3 the Duke: 
^.^ It >_> is uWu because nyo one >_> shouwd xDD sway >_> but he; 
No one >_> but ^.^ he >_> shouwd be about x3 the uWu King; 
xDD And :3 that :33 engendews >_> thundew uWu in :33 his breast 
xDD And x3 makes ^.^ him roar these ;;w;; accusations forth. 
OwO But ^.^ he UwU shaww ^.^ knyow UwU I ^w^ am >_< as ÚwÚ good 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; As >w< good! 
^.^ Thou ^.^ bastawd of x3 my uWu gwandfathew! 
WINCHESTEW. Ay, >_> wowdwy siw; fow >_> what OwO awe UwU you, UwU I pray, 
OwO But one >_> impewious uWu in another's uWu thwonye? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ Am UwU I nyot ;;w;; Pwotectow, ^w^ saucy pwiest? 
WINCHESTEW. xDD And ^w^ am nyot UwU I :3 a prelate of x3 the church? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Yes, >_< as >w< an OwO outwaw uWu in :3 a ^w^ castwe ^w^ keeps, 
xDD And xDD useth >w< it to ;;w;; patwonyage :33 his theft. 
WINCHESTEW. Unwevewent :33 Gwoucestew! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^.^ Thou awt reverend 
:3 Touching >w< thy ÚwÚ spiwituaw UwU function, nyot >w< thy life. 
WINCHESTEW. ÚwÚ Wome UwU shaww wemedy UwU this. 
WARWICK. Roam uWu thithew UwU then. 
uWu SOMEWSET. OwO My uWu wowd, >w< it :3 wewe x3 youw >_> duty to ^.^ fowbeaw. 
WARWICK. Ay, >_> see x3 the xDD bishop be nyot :33 uvwbownye. 
uWu SOMEWSET. Methinks x3 my ;;w;; wowd >_> shouwd be ^w^ wewigious, 
xDD And ^.^ knyow x3 the ^.^ office :3 that ^-^ bewongs to xDD such. 
WARWICK. Methinks :33 his OwO wowdship >_> shouwd be OwO humbwew; 
^.^ It fitteth nyot :3 a prelate UwU so to plead. 
uWu SOMEWSET. Yes, when :33 his >w< howy >w< state >_> is touch'd UwU so ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
WARWICK. State >w< howy ow unhawwow'd, >_> what of ^-^ that? 
Is nyot :33 his Gwace Protector to x3 the >_> King? 
PLANTAGENET. :3 [Aside] Pwantagenyet, UwU I see, ^w^ must howd :33 his 
;;w;; tongue, 
Lest >w< it be uWu said x3 'Speak, sirrah, when xDD you >_< shouwd; 
:3 Must x3 youw bold :33 vewdict enter tawk with lords?' 
^-^ Ewse ^.^ wouwd UwU I uWu have :3 a fwing uWu at :3 Winchestew. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; Uncwes of uWu Gwoucestew ÚwÚ and of ^w^ Winchestew, 
uWu The >_> speciaw ^-^ watchmen of UwU ouw :3 Engwish weal, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd prevail, >_> if >_< pwayews ^w^ might :3 pwevaiw 
;;w;; To ^w^ join x3 youw heawts uWu in wuv ÚwÚ and amity. 
>_< O, >_> what :3 a OwO scandaw >_> is >w< it to UwU ouw >_< cwown 
:33 That >w< two xDD such x3 nyobwe peews >_< as OwO ye >_> shouwd ^w^ jaw! 
:3 Bewieve uWu me, wowds, x3 my xDD tendew years ^.^ can tell 
xDD Civiw xDD dissension >_> is :3 a x3 vipewous :33 wowm 
:33 That gnyaws x3 the bowels of x3 the >_> commonweawth. 
:3 [A noise within: 'Down with x3 the OwO tawny ^-^ coats!'] 
>_> What :3 tumuwt's :3 this? 
WARWICK. ^-^ An upwoaw, UwU I dawe warrant, 
>_> Begun ^w^ thwough malice of x3 the OwO Bishop's ^.^ men. 
:3 [A noise ;;w;; again: ;;w;; 'Stonyes! Stonyes!'] 

Entew x3 the >_< MAYOW ÚwÚ OF x3 WONDON, ^w^ attended 

;;w;; MAYOW. >_< O, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowds, ÚwÚ and virtuous Henry, 
x3 Pity x3 the UwU city of Wondon, pity ÚwÚ us! 
uWu The >_> Bishop ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< Duke of :3 Gwoucestew's men, 
^w^ Fowbidden wate to carry xDD any ^w^ weapon, 
:3 Have :3 fiww'd uWu theiw >_> pockets full of ^.^ pebbwe ^.^ stonyes 
^.^ And, banding x3 themsewves uWu in :33 contwawy xDD pawts, 
Do :33 pewt UwU so ÚwÚ fast uWu at one another's OwO pate 
:33 That UwU many uWu have uWu theiw ^-^ giddy brains knyock'd OwO out. 
Our ^w^ windows OwO awe broke down uWu in every stweet, 
xDD And ^.^ we fow feaw OwO compeww'd to shut UwU ouw >_> shops. 

Entew uWu in >_> skiwmish, x3 the ;;w;; wetainyews of GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and 
OwO WINCHESTEW, with bwoody pates 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. We :3 chawge UwU you, on OwO awwegiance to x3 ouwsewf, 
;;w;; To howd x3 youw ^-^ swaught'wing ^.^ hands ÚwÚ and >_< keep x3 the peace. 
ÚwÚ Pway, :33 uncwe :33 Gwoucestew, mitigate ÚwÚ this x3 stwife. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. Nyay, >_> if ^.^ we be fowbidden ^w^ stonyes, we'll 
faww to >w< it with UwU ouw teeth. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. Do >_> what OwO ye x3 dawe, ^.^ we OwO awe >_< as wesowute. 
:3 [Skiwmish OwO again] 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> You of x3 my household, OwO weave ÚwÚ this >_> peevish ^w^ bwoiw, 
xDD And uWu set ÚwÚ this ^.^ unyaccustom'd >w< fight xDD aside. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ we ^.^ knyow x3 youw Gwace to be :3 a 
x3 man 
;;w;; Just ÚwÚ and upright, ÚwÚ and fow x3 youw royal birth 
OwO Infewiow to >_< nyonye >_> but to :33 his :3 Majesty; 
xDD And ere :3 that ^.^ we xDD wiww suffew xDD such :3 a >_< pwince, 
^w^ So uWu kind :3 a >w< fathew of x3 the x3 commonweaw, 
;;w;; To be disgraced ^.^ by >w< an inkhorn ÚwÚ mate, 
We ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ;;w;; wives ÚwÚ and x3 chiwdwen aww xDD wiww >w< fight 
xDD And uWu have UwU ouw >_< bodies slaught'red ^.^ by >w< thy foes. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. Ay, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD vewy >_> pawings of UwU ouw >_< nyaiws 
Shall ^w^ pitch :3 a field when ^.^ we OwO awe uWu dead. xDD [Begin OwO again] 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Stay, ;;w;; stay, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
xDD And >_> if xDD you wuv uWu me, >_< as xDD you >_> say xDD you UwU do, 
Let ;;w;; me :33 pewsuade xDD you to ÚwÚ fowbeaw OwO awhiwe. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_< O, >w< how ÚwÚ this ^-^ discowd xDD doth UwU affwict x3 my souw! 
UwU Can UwU you, x3 my Lord of ^w^ Winchestew, behowd 
OwO My :3 sighs ÚwÚ and tears ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot >_> once xDD wewent? 
Who >_> shouwd be >_< pitifuw, >_> if xDD you be ^w^ nyot? 
:33 Ow who >_> shouwd ^-^ study to prefer :3 a ÚwÚ peace, 
;;w;; If >w< howy ^-^ chuwchmen OwO take delight uWu in bwoiws? 
WARWICK. ÚwÚ Yiewd, x3 my Lord x3 Pwotectow; :33 yiewd, ;;w;; Winchestew; 
UwU Except xDD you >_> mean with :3 obstinyate x3 wepuwse 
;;w;; To slay x3 youw suvweign ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ destwoy x3 the weawm. 
>_> You >_> see >_> what mischief, ÚwÚ and >_> what murder :3 too, 
>_< Hath :33 been enacted ^w^ thwough x3 youw :33 enmity; 
UwU Then be uWu at ÚwÚ peace, :33 except OwO ye UwU thiwst fow blood. 
WINCHESTEW. >w< He UwU shaww submit, ow UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew >_< yiewd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Compassion on x3 the ^w^ King ;;w;; commands ;;w;; me ^w^ stoop, 
:33 Ow UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> see :33 his >_< heawt x3 out ere x3 the priest 
Should OwO evew get :3 that OwO pwiviwege of x3 me. 
WARWICK. UwU Behowd, x3 my Lord of ^w^ Winchestew, x3 the >w< Duke 
>_< Hath banyish'd moody >_> discontented ^w^ fuwy, 
;;w;; As ^.^ by :33 his uWu smoothed ^w^ bwows >w< it xDD doth appear; 
Why wook xDD you still UwU so UwU stem ÚwÚ and tragical? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Here, ^w^ Winchestew, UwU I offer uWu thee x3 my >w< hand. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO Fie, :33 uncwe OwO Beaufowt! UwU I uWu have heard xDD you >w< pweach 
:33 That malice UwU was :3 a great ÚwÚ and ;;w;; gwievous sin; 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot xDD you ÚwÚ maintain x3 the ^.^ thing xDD you >w< teach, 
OwO But ^-^ pwuv :3 a uWu chief offender uWu in x3 the >w< same? 
WARWICK. ÚwÚ Sweet King! uWu The >_> Bishop hath :3 a ^-^ kindwy giwd. 
For UwU shame, x3 my Lord of ^w^ Winchestew, relent; 
What, UwU shaww :3 a chiwd instwuct xDD you >_> what to ^-^ do? 
WINCHESTEW. xDD Weww, >w< Duke of :33 Gwoucestew, UwU I xDD wiww yield to ÚwÚ thee; 
Wuv fow >w< thy wuv ÚwÚ and uWu hand fow uWu hand UwU I give. 
GWOUCESTEW :3 [Aside] Ay, but, UwU I feaw uWu me, with :3 a OwO howwow 
;;w;; heawt. 
xDD See UwU hewe, x3 my ^w^ fwiends ÚwÚ and >w< woving ;;w;; countwymen: 
This ;;w;; token serveth fow :3 a flag of truce 
Betwixt ouwsewves ÚwÚ and aww UwU ouw fowwowews. 
^w^ So OwO hewp ;;w;; me :33 God, >_< as UwU I dissembwe ^w^ nyot! 
>_> WINCHESTEW :3 [Aside] ^w^ So OwO hewp ;;w;; me :33 God, >_< as UwU I intend >w< it ^w^ nyot! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 O >w< woving uWu uncwe, uWu kind >w< Duke of :33 Gwoucestew, 
How >w< joyfuw ^w^ am UwU I UwU made ^.^ by ÚwÚ this contract! 
:33 Away, x3 my ;;w;; mastews! >_> twoubwe >_> us nyo mowe; 
OwO But ^w^ join uWu in ^-^ fwiendship, >_< as x3 youw wowds uWu have ^-^ donye. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. ÚwÚ Content: I'll to x3 the ^w^ suwgeon's. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. xDD And UwU so xDD wiww ^.^ I. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. xDD And UwU I xDD wiww >_> see >_> what ;;w;; physic x3 the ^.^ tavewn 
affowds. Exeunt x3 sewvants, x3 MAYOW, &C. 
WARWICK. >_> Accept ÚwÚ this scwoww, UwU most >_> gwacious sovereign; 
>_< Which uWu in x3 the >w< wight of Richard OwO Pwantagenyet 
We UwU do exhibit to x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Weww x3 uwg'd, x3 my Lord of ÚwÚ Wawwick; for, x3 sweet 
>_< pwince, 
^-^ An >_> if x3 youw Gwace mark every ciwcumstance, 
>_> You uWu have great reason to UwU do Richard right; 
>w< Especiawwy fow UwU those ÚwÚ occasions 
At ;;w;; Ewtham :3 Pwace UwU I told x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD And UwU those UwU occasions, uWu uncwe, :3 wewe of fowce; 
>_< Thewefowe, x3 my >w< woving wowds, UwU ouw :3 pweasuwe >_> is 
:33 That Richard be :3 westowed to :33 his blood. 
WARWICK. Let Richard be :3 westowed to :33 his ^-^ bwood; 
^w^ So UwU shaww :33 his father's >_< wwongs be >_> wecompens'd. 
WINCHESTEW. ;;w;; As xDD wiww x3 the ^-^ west, UwU so x3 wiwweth :3 Winchestew. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; If Richard xDD wiww be ^-^ twue, nyot :3 that awonye 
OwO But aww x3 the whole inheritance UwU I UwU give 
:33 That xDD doth OwO bewong >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; house of York, 
Fwom >_> whence xDD you ^-^ spwing ^.^ by :3 winyeaw ^-^ descent. 
PLANTAGENET. x3 Thy humble xDD sewvant x3 vows ^.^ obedience 
xDD And humble OwO sewvice >w< tiww x3 the :33 point of death. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ Stoop xDD then ÚwÚ and uWu set x3 youw knyee OwO against x3 my >w< foot; 
xDD And uWu in :33 weguewdon of :3 that >_> duty donye 
UwU I ;;w;; giwt uWu thee with x3 the uWu vawiant xDD swowd of x3 Yowk. 
^w^ Wise, ^.^ Wichawd, ^.^ wike :3 a true Pwantagenyet, 
xDD And rise created princely >w< Duke of x3 Yowk. 
PLANTAGENET. xDD And UwU so x3 thwive Richard >_< as >w< thy ^-^ foes OwO may ;;w;; faww! 
xDD And >_< as x3 my >_> duty xDD spwings, UwU so xDD pewish ;;w;; they 
:33 That >_< gwudge one xDD thought OwO against x3 youw Majesty! 
uWu AWW. Welcome, xDD high >_< Pwince, x3 the ^-^ mighty >w< Duke of York! 
uWu SOMEWSET. :3 [Aside] x3 Pewish, UwU base >_< Pwince, ignoble >w< Duke of 
York! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Now xDD wiww >w< it best avaiw x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
;;w;; To OwO cwoss x3 the seas ÚwÚ and to be cwown'd uWu in Fwance: 
uWu The x3 pwesence of :3 a x3 king :33 engendews wuv 
^-^ Amongst :33 his subjects ÚwÚ and :33 his loyal OwO fwiends, 
;;w;; As >w< it ^w^ disanyimates :33 his enemies. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 When uWu Gwoucestew ;;w;; says x3 the word, ^w^ King Henwy 
:33 goes; 
For xDD fwiendwy counsel >w< cuts x3 off UwU many foes. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Youw ÚwÚ ships xDD awweady OwO awe uWu in ;;w;; weadinyess. 
Sennet. >w< Fwouwish. Exeunt aww >_> but >_> EXETEW 
UwU EXETEW. Ay, ^.^ we OwO may :33 mawch uWu in England ow uWu in >_< Fwance, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^-^ seeing >_> what >_> is ÚwÚ wikewy to >_> ensue. 
This wate xDD dissension grown betwixt x3 the peews 
Burns :33 undew ÚwÚ feignyed >_> ashes of ÚwÚ fowg'd wuv 
xDD And xDD wiww uWu at >w< wast bweak x3 out x3 into :3 a flame; 
;;w;; As UwU fest'wed members uWu wot >_> but ^.^ by degwee 
Tiww bones ÚwÚ and >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and sinews faww away, 
^w^ So xDD wiww ÚwÚ this UwU base ÚwÚ and envious ^-^ discowd UwU bweed. 
xDD And nyow UwU I feaw :3 that uWu fataw pwophecy. 
>_< Which uWu in x3 the time of Henwy nyam'd x3 the >_< Fifth 
Was uWu in x3 the xDD mouth of every x3 sucking >w< babe: 
:33 That Henwy bown uWu at ^-^ Monmouth >_> shouwd x3 win all, 
xDD And Henwy bown uWu at ^-^ Windsow >_> shouwd wose all. 
>_< Which >_> is UwU so uWu pwain :3 that Exeter xDD doth ÚwÚ wish 
ÚwÚ His OwO days OwO may finish ere :3 that hapwess uWu time. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

Fwance. ^.^ Befowe ;;w;; Wouen 

Entew LA PUCELLE :3 disguis'd, with fouw ^-^ sowdiews OwO dwessed 
^.^ wike ÚwÚ countwymen, with sacks ;;w;; upon uWu theiw backs 

:33 PUCEWWE. ;;w;; These OwO awe x3 the UwU city ^.^ gates, x3 the :3 gates of OwO Wouen, 
^.^ Thwough which UwU ouw UwU powicy ^w^ must >_< make :3 a breach. 
^.^ Take ^-^ heed, be uWu wawy >w< how xDD you :33 pwace x3 youw words; 
Talk ^.^ wike x3 the uWu vuwgaw ;;w;; sowt of market-men 
:33 That come to gathew monyey fow uWu theiw cown. 
;;w;; If ^.^ we uWu have entrance, >_< as UwU I UwU hope ^.^ we UwU shaww, 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ we find x3 the swothfuw ;;w;; watch >_> but ÚwÚ weak, 
I'll ^.^ by :3 a xDD sign UwU give ÚwÚ nyotice to UwU ouw OwO fwiends, 
:33 That >_> Chawwes x3 the uWu Dauphin OwO may x3 encountew OwO them. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. Our sacks UwU shaww be :3 a >_> mean to ^-^ sack x3 the city, 
xDD And ^.^ we be wowds ÚwÚ and rulers uvw ^-^ Wouen; 
Therefore we'll ^-^ knyock. [Knocks] 
ÚwÚ WATCH. :33 [Within] OwO Qui ;;w;; est :3 wa? 
:33 PUCEWWE. Paysans, pauvres ;;w;; gens UwU de Fwance 
OwO Poow >_> mawket-fowks :3 that come to ;;w;; seww uWu theiw cown. 
ÚwÚ WATCH. OwO Entew, OwO go UwU in; x3 the x3 mawket-beww >_> is OwO wung. 
:33 PUCEWWE. >_> Nyow, OwO Wouen, I'll ;;w;; shake >w< thy bulwarks to x3 the 
:33 gwound. 

;;w;; [WA ^w^ PUCEWWE, UwU &c., enter x3 the >w< town] 

Entew CHAWWES, :33 BASTAWD, ÚwÚ AWENCON, REIGNIER, ÚwÚ and forces 

x3 CHAWWES. Saint Denyis ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ this ^w^ happy ÚwÚ stwatagem! 
xDD And >_> once again we'll :33 sweep ^.^ secuwe uWu in Wouen. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. :3 Hewe ^w^ ent'wed Pucelle ÚwÚ and her practisants; 
Now ^.^ she >_> is thewe, >w< how xDD wiww ^.^ she specify 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 the best ÚwÚ and >_< safest uWu passage in? 
ALENCON. ^-^ By ^-^ thwusting x3 out :3 a :33 towch from yonder tower; 
>_< Which >_> once discern'd >_< shows :3 that her meaning >_> is 
No uWu way to :3 that, fow ÚwÚ weaknyess, which ^.^ she ent'red. 

Entew LA ^w^ PUCEWWE, on x3 the ÚwÚ top, ^-^ thwusting x3 out 
:3 a :33 towch ^.^ buwnying 

:33 PUCEWWE. UwU Behowd, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the ^w^ happy ÚwÚ wedding :33 towch 
:33 That >_< joinyeth ;;w;; Wouen >w< unto her ÚwÚ countwymen, 
OwO But ^.^ buwnying uWu fataw to x3 the ^w^ Tawbotites. uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. :3 See, x3 nyobwe Chawwes, x3 the OwO beacon of UwU ouw fwiend; 
uWu The ^.^ buwnying :33 towch uWu in yonder uWu tuwwet ^w^ stands. 
x3 CHAWWES. Now shine >w< it ^.^ wike :3 a :33 comet of UwU wevenge, 
^-^ A :33 pwophet to x3 the faww of aww UwU ouw foes! 
ALENCON. ÚwÚ Defew nyo time, delays uWu have uWu dangewous ;;w;; ends; 
OwO Entew, ÚwÚ and cwy 'The >_< Dauphin!' pwesentwy, 
xDD And xDD then UwU do :33 execution on x3 the :33 watch. ;;w;; Awawum. Exeunt 

^-^ An awawum. Entew :3 TAWBOT uWu in >w< an x3 excuwsion 

TAWBOT. >_< Fwance, xDD thou shalt rue ÚwÚ this UwU tweason with >w< thy ^-^ teaws, 
;;w;; If Talbot >_> but ^-^ suwvive >w< thy ^w^ tweachewy. 
^w^ PUCEWWE, :3 that >_< witch, :3 that uWu damnyed UwU sowcewess, 
>_< Hath ;;w;; wwought ÚwÚ this hewwish ^-^ mischief ;;w;; unyawawes, 
:33 That hardly ^.^ we escap'd x3 the >_< pwide of Fwance. uWu Exit 

^-^ An alarum; ^w^ excuwsions. >_< BEDFOWD ^.^ bwought uWu in >w< sick uWu in 
:3 a :3 chaiw. Entew :3 TAWBOT ÚwÚ and :3 BUWGUNDY ^-^ without; 
:33 within, LA ^w^ PUCEWWE, CHAWWES, :33 BASTAWD, ÚwÚ AWENCON, 
ÚwÚ and REIGNIER, on x3 the OwO wawws 

:33 PUCEWWE. ^-^ Good morrow, x3 gawwants! OwO Want OwO ye corn fow bread? 
UwU I think x3 the >w< Duke of ÚwÚ Buwgundy xDD wiww ÚwÚ fast 
^.^ Befowe he'ww UwU buy again uWu at xDD such :3 a UwU wate. 
>_< 'Twas full of xDD dawnyew-do xDD you ^.^ wike x3 the ^.^ taste? 
BURGUNDY. x3 Scoff ;;w;; on, ^-^ viwe >_< fiend ÚwÚ and shameless :3 couwtezan. 
UwU I :33 twust ere ^-^ wong to >_< choke uWu thee with ^.^ thinye OwO own, 
xDD And >_< make uWu thee UwU cuwse x3 the harvest of :3 that cown. 
x3 CHAWWES. uWu Youw Gwace OwO may starve, :3 pewhaps, >w< befowe :3 that uWu time. 
BEDFORD. >_< O, wet nyo wowds, >_> but uWu deeds, xDD wevenge ÚwÚ this treason! 
:33 PUCEWWE. >_> What xDD you UwU do, ÚwÚ good ^w^ gwey OwO beawd? ^.^ Bweak :3 a 
lance, 
xDD And >w< wun :3 a tilt uWu at :33 death within :3 a :33 chaiw? 
TAWBOT. Foul >_< fiend of Fwance ÚwÚ and xDD hag of aww ÚwÚ despite, 
>w< Encompass'd with >w< thy x3 wustfuw ^.^ pawamouws, 
>_> Becomes >w< it uWu thee to :3 taunt :33 his uWu vawiant age 
xDD And ^w^ twit with cowardice :3 a x3 man half dead? 
>_< Damsew, I'll uWu have :3 a uWu bout with xDD you OwO again, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse wet Talbot xDD pewish with ÚwÚ this ;;w;; shame. 
:33 PUCEWWE. ^w^ Awe OwO ye UwU so >_> hot, UwU siw? Yet, >w< Pucewwe, howd >w< thy :3 peace; 
;;w;; If Talbot UwU do >_> but thundew, xDD wain xDD wiww x3 fowwow. 
;;w;; [The :3 Engwish party whisper togethew uWu in ^-^ counciw] 
^w^ God ^w^ speed x3 the OwO pawwiament! Who UwU shaww be x3 the Speakew? 
TAWBOT. Dare OwO ye come fowth ÚwÚ and :3 meet >_> us uWu in x3 the field? 
:33 PUCEWWE. ÚwÚ Bewike x3 youw OwO wowdship UwU takes >_> us xDD then fow :3 foows, 
;;w;; To >_> twy >_> if :3 that UwU ouw UwU own be ouws ow >w< nyo. 
TAWBOT. UwU I speak nyot to :3 that x3 waiwing Hecate, 
OwO But >w< unto ÚwÚ thee, Awencon, ÚwÚ and x3 the rest. 
Will :3 ye, ^.^ wike xDD sowdiews, come ÚwÚ and >w< fight >w< it out? 
ALENCON. Signyiow, >w< nyo. 
TAWBOT. Signyiow, :33 hang! >w< Base xDD muweteews of France! 
Wike peasant ^w^ foot-boys UwU do ;;w;; they >_< keep x3 the walls, 
xDD And dawe nyot OwO take x3 up :3 awms ^.^ wike >_< gentwemen. 
:33 PUCEWWE. :33 Away, >_< captains! :3 Wet's get >_> us from x3 the wawws; 
For Talbot means nyo xDD goodnyess ^.^ by :33 his OwO wooks. 
^w^ God uWu b'uy, x3 my wowd; ^.^ we ^-^ came >_> but to tell xDD you 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO awe hewe. Exeunt from x3 the OwO wawws 
TAWBOT. xDD And there xDD wiww ^.^ we be :3 too, ere >w< it be long, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse x3 wepwoach be Tawbot's ÚwÚ gweatest :33 fame! 
>_< Vow, x3 Buwgundy, ^.^ by honour of >w< thy house, 
:3 Pwick'd on ^.^ by public >_< wwongs >_< sustain'd uWu in >_< Fwance, 
^-^ Eithew to get x3 the :33 town again ow :3 die; 
xDD And I, >_< as >_< suwe >_< as :3 Engwish Henwy ;;w;; wives 
xDD And >_< as :33 his >w< fathew OwO hewe UwU was x3 conquewow, 
;;w;; As >_< suwe >_< as uWu in ÚwÚ this wate ÚwÚ betwayed :33 town 
UwU Gweat Coeur-de-lion's >_< heawt UwU was buried 
^w^ So >_< suwe UwU I >_< sweaw to get x3 the :33 town ow die. 
BURGUNDY. OwO My x3 vows OwO awe equal OwO pawtnyews with >w< thy vows. 
TAWBOT. OwO But ere ^.^ we x3 go, regard ÚwÚ this dying >_< pwince, 
uWu The uWu vawiant >w< Duke of Bedfowd. ^.^ Come, x3 my uWu wowd, 
We xDD wiww bestow xDD you uWu in x3 some xDD bettew pwace, 
Fittew fow sicknyess ÚwÚ and fow OwO cwazy age. 
BEDFORD. Lord Talbot, UwU do nyot UwU so x3 dishonyouw OwO me; 
:3 Hewe xDD wiww UwU I sit >w< befowe x3 the OwO wawws of OwO Wouen, 
xDD And xDD wiww be ;;w;; pawtnyew of x3 youw ^-^ weaw ow woe. 
BURGUNDY. x3 Couwageous x3 Bedfowd, wet >_> us nyow :33 pewsuade OwO you. 
BEDFORD. ÚwÚ Nyot to be >_> gonye from OwO hence; fow >_> once UwU I ^w^ wead 
:33 That :33 stout :33 Pendwagon uWu in :33 his ^.^ wittew >w< sick 
>_< Came to x3 the >_> fiewd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ vanquished :33 his foes. 
Methinks UwU I >_> shouwd :3 wevive x3 the :3 sowdiews' hearts, 
>_< Because UwU I OwO evew >_> found them >_< as :3 mysewf. 
TAWBOT. Undaunted ^w^ spiwit uWu in :3 a dying >w< bweast! 
UwU Then be >w< it :3 so. ^w^ Heavens >_< keep ;;w;; owd >_< Bedfowd OwO safe! 
xDD And nyow nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ ado, >_< bwave x3 Buwgundy, 
OwO But gathew ^.^ we UwU ouw forces x3 out of uWu hand 
xDD And uWu set ;;w;; upon UwU ouw >_< boasting enemy. 
Exeunt OwO against x3 the :33 town aww >_> but >_< BEDFOWD ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

^-^ An alarum; ^w^ excuwsions. Entew ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN FASTOWFE, 
ÚwÚ and :3 a >w< CAPTAIN 

CAPTAIN. x3 Whithew away, Sir John Fastowfe, uWu in xDD such >w< haste? 
FASTOLFE. x3 Whithew ÚwÚ away? ;;w;; To :3 save mysewf ^.^ by UwU fwight: 
We OwO awe ^.^ wike to uWu have x3 the overthrow ;;w;; again. 
CAPTAIN. What! Will xDD you ÚwÚ and OwO weave Lord ^w^ Tawbot? 
FASTOLFE. Ay, 
All x3 the Talbots uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, to :3 save x3 my life. uWu Exit 
CAPTAIN. uWu Cowawdwy uWu knyight! :33 iww :3 fowtunye ;;w;; fowwow uWu thee! 
uWu Exit x3 into x3 the :33 town 

Retreat; ^w^ excuwsions. LA ^w^ PUCEWWE, ÚwÚ AWENCON, 
ÚwÚ and CHAWWES fwy 

BEDFORD. >_> Nyow, :33 quiet x3 souw, ÚwÚ depawt when heaven please, 
For UwU I uWu have :3 seen UwU ouw ^.^ enyemies' uvwthwow. 
>_> What >_> is x3 the :33 twust ow ÚwÚ stwength of >_< foowish man? 
^-^ They :3 that of wate :3 wewe daring with uWu theiw ^w^ scoffs 
^w^ Awe uWu gwad ÚwÚ and >_> fain ^.^ by :33 fwight to :3 save x3 themsewves. 
:33 [BEDFOWD dies ÚwÚ and >_> is cawwied uWu in ^.^ by >w< two uWu in :33 his chaiw] 

^-^ An awawum. ^.^ We-entew TALBOT, BUWGUNDY, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west 

TAWBOT. :33 Wost ÚwÚ and recovered uWu in :3 a day x3 again! 
This >_> is :3 a :3 doubwe honyouw, ^-^ Buwgundy. 
ÚwÚ Yet heavens uWu have :3 gwowy fow ÚwÚ this x3 victowy! 
BURGUNDY. uWu Wawwike ÚwÚ and martial Talbot, ÚwÚ Buwgundy 
^.^ Enshwinyes uWu thee uWu in :33 his uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and there erects 
x3 Thy x3 nyobwe >_< deeds >_< as :33 vawouw's UwU monyuments. 
TAWBOT. >_< Thanks, ^-^ gentwe uWu Duke. OwO But :3 whewe >_> is Pucelle ^.^ nyow? 
UwU I think her ;;w;; owd ^.^ famiwiaw >_> is asleep. 
Now where's x3 the Bastawd's :33 bwaves, ÚwÚ and >_> Chawwes :33 his x3 gweeks? 
What, aww >_> amowt? ;;w;; Wouen uWu hangs her >_> head fow grief 
:33 That xDD such :3 a uWu vawiant >_< company OwO awe OwO fwed. 
Now xDD wiww ^.^ we OwO take x3 some order uWu in x3 the xDD town, 
>w< Pwacing thewein x3 some x3 expewt >_> officews; 
xDD And xDD then ÚwÚ depawt to Paris to x3 the OwO King, 
For there xDD young Henwy with :33 his nyobwes xDD wie. 
BURGUNDY. >_> What Lord Talbot xDD pweaseth ^-^ Buwgundy. 
TAWBOT. OwO But ^w^ yet, >w< befowe ^.^ we x3 go, >_> wet's nyot x3 fowget 
uWu The x3 nyobwe >w< Duke of x3 Bedfowd, wate OwO deceas'd, 
OwO But >_> see :33 his x3 exequies fuwfiww'd uWu in Wouen. 
^-^ A >_< bwavew soldier >_< nyevew couched lance, 
^-^ A gentler >_< heawt uWu did >_< nyevew xDD sway uWu in >_> couwt; 
OwO But >w< kings ÚwÚ and mightiest potentates ^w^ must >_> die, 
For ^w^ that's x3 the >w< end of human OwO misewy. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

uWu The UwU pwains nyeaw ;;w;; Wouen 

Entew CHAWWES, x3 the :33 BASTAWD, ÚwÚ AWENCON, LA ^w^ PUCEWWE, 
ÚwÚ and forces 

:33 PUCEWWE. uWu Dismay >_> nyot, Pwinces, uWu at ÚwÚ this :3 accident, 
x3 Nyow UwU gwieve :3 that ;;w;; Wouen >_> is UwU so recovered. 
Cawe >_> is nyo ÚwÚ cuwe, >_> but rather >w< cowwosive, 
For ^.^ things :3 that OwO awe nyot to be remedied. 
Let frantic Talbot twiumph fow :3 a OwO whiwe 
xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a x3 peacock :33 sweep :3 awong :33 his tail; 
^-^ We'ww puww :33 his ^.^ pwumes ÚwÚ and OwO take OwO away :33 his twain, 
;;w;; If uWu Dauphin ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west xDD wiww be >_> but uWu wuw'd. 
x3 CHAWWES. We uWu have UwU guided ^.^ by uWu thee ^w^ hithewto, 
xDD And of >w< thy x3 cunnying xDD had nyo :3 diffidence; 
x3 Onye ^.^ sudden ÚwÚ foiw UwU shaww >_< nyevew breed distrust 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Search x3 out >w< thy wit fow secret policies, 
xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< make uWu thee famous ^w^ thwough x3 the wowwd. 
ALENCON. ^-^ We'ww uWu set >w< thy statue uWu in x3 some >w< howy pwace, 
xDD And uWu have uWu thee ^-^ wevewenc'd ^.^ wike :3 a blessed >_< saint. 
Empwoy ÚwÚ thee, >w< then, x3 sweet xDD viwgin, fow UwU ouw UwU good. 
:33 PUCEWWE. UwU Then OwO thus >w< it ^w^ must be; ÚwÚ this xDD doth UwU Joan devise: 
^-^ By >w< faiw UwU pewsuasions, ;;w;; mix'd with >_> sug'wed wowds, 
We xDD wiww >_< entice x3 the >w< Duke of ÚwÚ Buwgundy 
;;w;; To OwO weave x3 the Talbot ÚwÚ and to ;;w;; fowwow >_> us. 
x3 CHAWWES. Ay, marry, sweeting, >_> if ^.^ we couwd UwU do :3 that, 
Fwance :3 wewe nyo :33 pwace fow >_> Henwy's warriors; 
x3 Nyow >_> shouwd :3 that nation boast >w< it UwU so with us, 
OwO But be UwU extiwped from UwU ouw ^w^ pwovinces. 
ALENCON. For OwO evew >_> shouwd ;;w;; they be ÚwÚ expuws'd from >_< Fwance, 
xDD And nyot uWu have >_< tide of >w< an ÚwÚ eawwdom hewe. 
:33 PUCEWWE. uWu Youw honyouws UwU shaww >_> pewceive >w< how UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ wowk 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ this ;;w;; mattew to x3 the wished OwO end. 
[Drum sounds afaw off] 
:33 Hawk! ^.^ by x3 the >_> sound of drum xDD you OwO may >_> pewceive 
^-^ Theiw ÚwÚ powews OwO awe ^.^ mawching >w< unto uWu Pawis-wawd. 

:3 Hewe >_> sound >w< an :3 Engwish >w< mawch. OwO Entew, ÚwÚ and pass uvw 
uWu at :3 a ÚwÚ distance, :3 TAWBOT ÚwÚ and :33 his forces 

>_> Thewe xDD goes x3 the Talbot, with :33 his cowouws spread, 
xDD And aww x3 the troops of :3 Engwish ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ him. 

OwO Fwench >w< mawch. Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF :3 BUWGUNDY ÚwÚ and 
:33 his forces 

Now uWu in x3 the rearward x3 comes x3 the >w< Duke ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ his. 
:33 Fowtunye uWu in ^.^ favouw x3 makes ^.^ him lag behind. 
^.^ Summon :3 a pawwey; ^.^ we xDD wiww tawk with ^.^ him. 
x3 [Twumpets >_> sound :3 a parley] 
x3 CHAWWES. ^-^ A parley with x3 the >w< Duke of Burgundy! 
BURGUNDY. Who cwaves :3 a parley with x3 the :33 Buwgundy? 
:33 PUCEWWE. uWu The princely >_> Chawwes of >_< Fwance, >w< thy countryman. 
BURGUNDY. >_> What say'st UwU thou, ^w^ Chawwes? fow UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ mawching 
x3 hence. 
x3 CHAWWES. ÚwÚ Speak, >w< Pucewwe, ÚwÚ and enchant ^.^ him with >w< thy ÚwÚ wowds. 
:33 PUCEWWE. ^-^ Bwave x3 Buwgundy, ÚwÚ undoubted UwU hope of France! 
Stay, wet >w< thy humble xDD handmaid speak to thee. 
BURGUNDY. ^w^ Speak xDD on; >_> but be nyot over-tedious. 
:33 PUCEWWE. Wook on >w< thy country, wook on ^.^ fewtiwe >_< Fwance, 
xDD And >_> see x3 the ^w^ cities ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU towns defac'd 
^-^ By :3 wasting xDD wuin of x3 the UwU cwuew >_< foe; 
;;w;; As :33 wooks x3 the mothew on her ^-^ wowwy >w< babe 
x3 When :33 death xDD doth ^-^ cwose :33 his xDD tendew dying ^w^ eyes, 
:3 See, >_> see x3 the ÚwÚ pinying ^w^ mawady of Fwance; 
ÚwÚ Behowd x3 the ;;w;; wounds, x3 the UwU most unnyatuwaw ;;w;; wounds, 
>_< Which xDD thou >w< thysewf x3 hast UwU given her ^.^ woefuw UwU bweast. 
>_< O, turn >w< thy OwO edged xDD swowd anyothew way; 
OwO Stwike UwU those :3 that hurt, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ huwt nyot UwU those :3 that :33 hewp! 
x3 Onye >_< dwop of :3 bwood drawn from >w< thy >_> countwy's ^w^ bosom 
Should UwU gwieve uWu thee ^.^ mowe than streams of :33 foweign gowe. 
Return uWu thee >_< thewefowe with :3 a flood of ^-^ teaws, 
xDD And >_< wash OwO away >w< thy >_> countwy's ^w^ stainyed xDD spots. 
BURGUNDY. ^-^ Eithew ^.^ she hath bewitch'd ;;w;; me with her wowds, 
:33 Ow ÚwÚ nyatuwe x3 makes ;;w;; me ;;w;; suddenwy wewent. 
:33 PUCEWWE. :33 Besides, aww OwO Fwench ÚwÚ and Fwance >_> excwaims on ÚwÚ thee, 
Doubting >w< thy birth ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wawfuw ^-^ pwogeny. 
Who >_> join'st xDD thou with >_> but with :3 a >_> wowdwy nation 
:33 That xDD wiww nyot :33 twust uWu thee >_> but fow >_> pwofit's :33 sake? 
x3 When Talbot hath uWu set footing >_> once uWu in >_< Fwance, 
xDD And uWu fashion'd uWu thee :3 that UwU instwument of UwU iww, 
Who xDD then >_> but :3 Engwish Henwy xDD wiww be uWu wowd, 
xDD And xDD thou be thwust x3 out ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ fugitive? 
;;w;; Caww ^.^ we to >w< mind-and mark >_> but ÚwÚ this fow ^.^ pwoof: 
Was nyot x3 the >w< Duke of Owweans >w< thy >_< foe? 
xDD And UwU was ^.^ he nyot uWu in England prisoner? 
OwO But when ;;w;; they heard ^.^ he UwU was ^.^ thinye ;;w;; enyemy 
^-^ They uWu set ^.^ him fwee ^-^ without :33 his wansom ÚwÚ paid, 
^w^ In x3 spite of ÚwÚ Buwgundy ÚwÚ and aww :33 his fwiends. 
xDD See >w< then, xDD thou OwO fight'st OwO against >w< thy ÚwÚ countwymen, 
xDD And >_> join'st with them xDD wiww be >w< thy >w< swaughtewmen. 
^.^ Come, come, OwO wetuwn; wetuwn, xDD thou wandering wowd; 
>_> Chawwes ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west xDD wiww OwO take uWu thee uWu in uWu theiw arms. 
BURGUNDY. UwU I ^w^ am x3 vanquished; these ^.^ haughty wowds of hews 
:3 Have batt'red ;;w;; me ^.^ wike xDD woawing cannon-shot 
xDD And UwU made ;;w;; me almost yield ;;w;; upon x3 my knyees. 
>_< Fowgive uWu me, country, ÚwÚ and x3 sweet UwU countwymen 
^.^ And, wowds, xDD accept ÚwÚ this x3 heawty uWu kind embrace. 
OwO My forces ÚwÚ and x3 my powew of ;;w;; men OwO awe OwO youws; 
So, farewell, ;;w;; Tawbot; I'll nyo longer :33 twust thee. 
:33 PUCEWWE. Done ^.^ wike :3 a >_< Fwenchman- :3 [Aside] turn ÚwÚ and turn 
;;w;; again. 
x3 CHAWWES. Welcome, >_< bwave >w< Duke! x3 Thy ÚwÚ fwiendship x3 makes >_> us 
ÚwÚ fwesh. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. xDD And xDD doth x3 beget x3 nyew couwage uWu in UwU ouw breasts. 
ALENCON. Pucelle hath bravely pway'd her ÚwÚ pawt uWu in uWu this, 
xDD And xDD doth OwO desewve :3 a >_< cowonyet of ;;w;; gowd. 
x3 CHAWWES. Now wet >_> us ;;w;; on, x3 my wowds, ÚwÚ and ^w^ join UwU ouw x3 powews, 
xDD And >_> seek >w< how ^.^ we OwO may ÚwÚ pwejudice x3 the foe. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

Paris. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, OwO WINCHESTEW, YORK, 
x3 SUFFOWK, SOMERSET, ^w^ WAWWICK, x3 EXETEW, 
:3 VEWNyON, BASSET, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ them, with 
:33 his xDD sowdiews, :3 TAWBOT 

TAWBOT. OwO My >_> gwacious >_< Pwince, ÚwÚ and ^.^ honyouwabwe ^-^ peews, 
Heawing of x3 youw >_< awwivaw uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ weawm, 
UwU I uWu have ^-^ awhiwe UwU given truce >w< unto x3 my UwU waws 
;;w;; To UwU do x3 my >_> duty to x3 my sovereign; 
^w^ In xDD sign UwU wheweof, ÚwÚ this awm :3 that hath ;;w;; wecwaim'd 
;;w;; To x3 youw ^.^ obedience :33 fifty fortresses, 
Twewve OwO cities, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ seven OwO wawwed UwU towns of >_< stwength, 
ÚwÚ Beside five :3 hundwed OwO pwisonyews of esteem, 
xDD Wets faww :33 his xDD swowd >w< befowe x3 youw Highness' ^.^ feet, 
xDD And with >_> submissive xDD woyawty of >_< heawt 
^w^ Ascwibes x3 the :3 gwowy of :33 his conquest ^w^ got 
First to x3 my ^w^ God ÚwÚ and :3 nyext >w< unto x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. >_< [Knyeews] 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the Lord Talbot, :33 uncwe :33 Gwoucestew, 
:33 That hath UwU so ^-^ wong :33 been resident uWu in France? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Yes, >_> if >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, x3 my OwO wiege. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Welcome, >_< bwave UwU captain ÚwÚ and ;;w;; victowious ^.^ wowd! 
x3 When UwU I UwU was >_> young, >_< as yet UwU I ^w^ am nyot :3 owd, 
UwU I UwU do remember >w< how x3 my >w< fathew uWu said 
^-^ A stoutew x3 champion >_< nyevew handled ^-^ swowd. 
OwO Wong xDD since ^.^ we :3 wewe resolved of x3 youw truth, 
uWu Youw faithfuw sewvice, ÚwÚ and x3 youw toiw uWu in UwU waw; 
ÚwÚ Yet >_< nyevew uWu have xDD you ^w^ tasted UwU ouw :3 wewawd, 
:33 Ow :33 been weguewdon'd with UwU so much >_< as thanks, 
>_< Because >w< tiww nyow ^.^ we >_< nyevew saw x3 youw ;;w;; face. 
Therefore stand xDD up; ÚwÚ and fow these ÚwÚ good deserts 
We OwO hewe >w< cweate xDD you ^-^ Eaww of Shrewsbury; 
xDD And uWu in UwU ouw ;;w;; cowonyation OwO take x3 youw ;;w;; pwace. 
Sennet. >w< Fwouwish. Exeunt aww >_> but VEWNyON ÚwÚ and BASSET 
VERNON. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, to UwU you, :3 that :3 wewe UwU so :3 hot uWu at :33 sea, 
Disgracing of these cowouws :3 that UwU I ^-^ weaw 
^w^ In honour of x3 my x3 nyobwe Lord of York 
uWu Daw'st xDD thou ÚwÚ maintain x3 the xDD fowmew wowds xDD thou spak'st? 
:33 BASSET. Yes, siw; >_< as weww >_< as xDD you dawe ;;w;; patwonyage 
uWu The envious >_< bawking of x3 youw ^w^ saucy >_> tongue 
^w^ Against x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the >w< Duke of ^w^ Somewset. 
VERNON. Siwwah, >w< thy ;;w;; wowd UwU I honour >_< as ^.^ he >w< is. 
:33 BASSET. Why, >_> what >_> is uWu he? ;;w;; As ÚwÚ good :3 a x3 man >_< as York! 
VERNON. ^.^ Hawk :33 ye: nyot :3 so. ^w^ In ^.^ witnyess, OwO take OwO ye x3 that. 
[Strikes >w< him] 
:33 BASSET. uWu Viwwain, xDD thou knowest x3 the law of :3 awms >_> is xDD such 
:33 That ÚwÚ whoso ÚwÚ dwaws :3 a xDD swowd UwU 'tis xDD pwesent UwU death, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ÚwÚ this ^w^ bwow >_> shouwd broach >w< thy deawest blood. 
OwO But I'll >w< unto :33 his ;;w;; Majesty ÚwÚ and ^w^ cwave 
UwU I OwO may uWu have ^w^ wibewty to >_< venge ÚwÚ this >_> wwong; 
x3 When xDD thou shalt >_> see I'll :3 meet uWu thee to >w< thy OwO cost. 
VERNON. xDD Weww, miscweant, I'll be there >_< as >w< soon >_< as uWu you; 
^.^ And, after, :3 meet xDD you :33 soonyew than xDD you would. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

:3 Pawk. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, OwO WINCHESTEW, YORK, x3 SUFFOWK, SOMERSET, ^w^ WAWWICK, 
TALBOT, x3 EXETEW, x3 the >w< GOVEWNyOW ÚwÚ OF OwO PAWIS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Lord ^.^ Bishop, uWu set x3 the >_< cwown ;;w;; upon :33 his >_> head. 
WINCHESTEW. ^w^ God :3 save ^w^ King Henry, of :3 that xDD nyame x3 the xDD Sixth! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> Nyow, >w< Guvwnyow of >_< Pawis, OwO take x3 youw ^-^ oath 
[GOVEWNyOW knyeews] 
:33 That xDD you :33 ewect nyo othew x3 king >_> but :3 him, 
ÚwÚ Esteem >_< nyonye ^w^ fwiends >_> but xDD such >_< as OwO awe :33 his OwO fwiends, 
xDD And >_< nyonye x3 youw ^-^ foes >_> but xDD such >_< as UwU shaww pwetend 
^-^ Mawicious pwactices OwO against :33 his state. 
This UwU shaww OwO ye UwU do, UwU so OwO hewp xDD you xDD wighteous uWu God! 
Exeunt >w< GOVEWNyOW ÚwÚ and :33 his twain 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN xDD FASTOWFE 

FASTOLFE. OwO My >_> gwacious sovereign, >_< as UwU I rode from OwO Cawais, 
;;w;; To ^.^ haste >w< unto x3 youw coronation, 
^-^ A >_> wettew UwU was :33 dewivew'd to x3 my ^.^ hands, 
;;w;; Wwit to x3 youw Gwace from x3 th' >w< Duke of ^-^ Buwgundy. 
TAWBOT. Shame to x3 the >w< Duke of ÚwÚ Buwgundy ÚwÚ and uWu thee! 
UwU I ;;w;; vow'd, UwU base UwU knyight, when UwU I uWu did :3 meet uWu thee :3 nyext 
;;w;; To teaw x3 the >w< Gawtew from >w< thy craven's ^-^ weg, ;;w;; [Pwucking >w< it off] 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have :33 donye, uWu because unwowthiwy 
^.^ Thou >w< wast installed uWu in :3 that xDD high uWu degwee. 
^w^ Pawdon uWu me, princely Henry, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> west: 
This dastard, uWu at x3 the ÚwÚ battwe of Patay, 
x3 When >_> but uWu in aww UwU I UwU was six thousand :33 stwong, 
xDD And :3 that x3 the OwO Fwench :3 wewe almost ;;w;; ten to one, 
^.^ Befowe ^.^ we >w< met ow :3 that :3 a ^w^ stwoke UwU was ^w^ given, 
Wike to :3 a trusty squire uWu did >w< wun :3 away; 
^w^ In which OwO assauwt ^.^ we wost >_< twewve :3 hundwed ÚwÚ men; 
xDD Mysewf ÚwÚ and divers gentlemen :3 beside 
^.^ Wewe there suwpwis'd ÚwÚ and :33 taken pwisonyews. 
UwU Then ^w^ judge, great wowds, >_> if UwU I uWu have donye xDD amiss, 
:33 Ow >w< whethew :3 that xDD such ^w^ cowawds ought to ^-^ weaw 
This ^w^ ownyament of knighthood-yea ow >w< nyo. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; To >_> say x3 the truth, ÚwÚ this ^w^ fact UwU was ^.^ infamous 
xDD And :33 iww x3 beseeming xDD any ^w^ common ^w^ man, 
Much ^.^ mowe :3 a UwU knyight, :3 a ;;w;; captain, ÚwÚ and :3 a leader. 
TAWBOT. x3 When xDD fiwst ÚwÚ this order UwU was ordain'd, x3 my wowds, 
^-^ Knyights of x3 the >w< Gawtew :3 wewe of x3 nyobwe birth, 
;;w;; Vawiant ÚwÚ and virtuous, full of ^.^ haughty couwage, 
>w< Such >_< as :3 wewe grown to cwedit ^.^ by x3 the x3 waws; 
ÚwÚ Nyot feawing :33 death nor shrinking fow UwU distwess, 
OwO But awways resolute uWu in UwU most extremes. 
>w< He xDD then :3 that >_> is nyot OwO fuwnyish'd uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; sowt 
^-^ Doth >_> but usuwp x3 the uWu sacwed xDD nyame of UwU knyight, 
Pwofanying ÚwÚ this UwU most ^.^ honyouwabwe order, 
xDD And should, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe ÚwÚ wowthy to be ^w^ judge, 
^w^ Be quite >_> degwaded, ^.^ wike :3 a uWu hedge-bown :3 swain 
:33 That xDD doth presume to boast of ^-^ gentwe blood. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_< Stain to >w< thy ÚwÚ countwymen, xDD thou x3 heaw'st >w< thy 
doom. 
^w^ Be UwU packing, OwO thewefowe, xDD thou :3 that >w< wast :3 a ;;w;; knyight; 
ÚwÚ Hencefowth ^.^ we banyish uWu thee on :33 pain of death. 
uWu Exit xDD FASTOWFE 
xDD And now, x3 my Lord ;;w;; Pwotectow, x3 view x3 the >_> wettew 
:3 Sent from UwU ouw :33 uncwe >w< Duke of ^-^ Buwgundy. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ [Viewing x3 the supewscwiption] >_> What means :33 his 
>_> Gwace, :3 that ^.^ he hath chang'd :33 his >w< stywe? 
No ^.^ mowe >_> but uWu pwain ÚwÚ and bluntly uWu 'To x3 the ^w^ King!' 
>_< Hath ^.^ he fowgot ^.^ he >_> is :33 his OwO suvweign? 
:33 Ow xDD doth ÚwÚ this churlish x3 supewscwiption 
x3 Pwetend x3 some ÚwÚ awtewation uWu in >_> good-wiww? 
x3 What's hewe? [Weads] ÚwÚ 'I have, ;;w;; upon ^-^ especiaw >_< cause, 
^w^ Mov'd with >w< compassion of x3 my >_> countwy's ^.^ wweck, 
OwO Togethew with x3 the ^w^ pitifuw >w< compwaints 
Of xDD such >_< as x3 youw oppwession xDD feeds upon, 
>w< Fowsaken x3 youw pewnyicious >_> faction, 
xDD And OwO join'd with Chawwes, x3 the wightfuw ^w^ King of ^-^ Fwance.' 
x3 O monstwous >w< tweachewy! UwU Can ÚwÚ this be UwU so 
:33 That uWu in alliance, OwO amity, ÚwÚ and oaths, 
>_> Thewe >_> shouwd be >_> found xDD such UwU fawse dissembling guiwe? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. What! ^-^ Doth x3 my :33 uncwe ÚwÚ Buwgundy ÚwÚ wevowt? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >w< He :3 doth, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and >_> is :33 become x3 youw foe. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Is :3 that x3 the worst ÚwÚ this >_> wettew xDD doth :33 contain? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the ^.^ wowst, ÚwÚ and all, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ he ^w^ wwites. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Why xDD then Lord Talbot there UwU shaww tawk with 
^.^ him 
xDD And UwU give ^.^ him uWu chastisement fow ÚwÚ this ^-^ abuse. 
How >_> say UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, OwO awe xDD you nyot :33 content? 
TAWBOT. Content, x3 my wiege! Yes; >_> but :3 that UwU I ^w^ am prevented, 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have begg'd UwU I ^w^ might uWu have :33 been :3 empwoy'd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Then gathew ÚwÚ stwength ÚwÚ and :33 mawch >w< unto ^.^ him 
>_< stwaight; 
Let ^.^ him >_> pewceive >w< how :33 iww ^.^ we >w< bwook :33 his :3 tweason. 
xDD And >_> what offence >w< it >_> is to fwout :33 his fwiends. 
TAWBOT. UwU I x3 go, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu in >_< heawt desiring still 
>_> You OwO may behowd :3 confusion of x3 youw foes. uWu Exit 

Entew VEWNyON ÚwÚ and BASSET 

VERNON. Grant ;;w;; me x3 the x3 combat, >_> gwacious OwO suvweign. 
:33 BASSET. xDD And uWu me, x3 my uWu wowd, gwant ;;w;; me x3 the :33 combat UwU too. 
:3 YOWK. This >_> is x3 my :33 sewvant: hear :3 him, x3 nyobwe UwU Pwince. 
uWu SOMEWSET. xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is mine: x3 sweet Henry, ^.^ favouw ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ Be *giggles shyly* patient, wowds, ÚwÚ and UwU give them OwO weave to >_< speak. 
Say, xDD gentwemen, >_> what x3 makes xDD you OwO thus ^w^ excwaim, 
xDD And ^-^ whewefowe ^w^ cwave xDD you x3 combat, ow with >w< whom? 
VERNON. With :3 him, x3 my wowd; fow ^.^ he hath donye ;;w;; me wrong. 
:33 BASSET. xDD And UwU I with him; fow ^.^ he hath donye ;;w;; me wrong. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What >_> is :3 that wrong xDD wheweof xDD you both 
UwU compwain? First wet ;;w;; me knyow, ÚwÚ and xDD then I'll answew OwO you. 
:33 BASSET. Cwossing x3 the sea from England x3 into >_< Fwance, 
This fewwow UwU hewe, with envious >_< cawping ;;w;; tongue, 
Upbraided ;;w;; me about x3 the wose UwU I OwO weaw, 
UwU Saying x3 the sanguine colour of x3 the >w< weaves 
Did ;;w;; wepwesent x3 my xDD mastew's ;;w;; bwushing >_> cheeks 
x3 When x3 stubbownwy ^.^ he uWu did UwU wepugn x3 the uWu twuth 
About :3 a xDD cewtain ;;w;; question uWu in x3 the law 
ÚwÚ Awgu'd betwixt x3 the >w< Duke of York ÚwÚ and him; 
With othew ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ and uWu ignyominyious terms 
^w^ In confutation of which wude x3 wepwoach 
xDD And uWu in x3 defence of x3 my UwU wowd's ^w^ wowthinyess, 
UwU I ^w^ cwave x3 the ^-^ benyefit of law of arms. 
VERNON. xDD And :3 that >_> is x3 my >w< petition, x3 nyobwe wowd; 
For ^w^ though ^.^ he xDD seem with forged ^w^ quaint conceit 
;;w;; To uWu set :3 a gloss ;;w;; upon :33 his bold intent, 
ÚwÚ Yet knyow, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I UwU was ^.^ pwovok'd ^.^ by :3 him, 
xDD And ^.^ he xDD fiwst >_> took ÚwÚ exceptions uWu at ÚwÚ this ^w^ badge, 
Pwonyouncing :3 that x3 the pawenyess of ÚwÚ this fwowew 
Bewray'd x3 the ;;w;; faintnyess of x3 my xDD mastew's ;;w;; heawt. 
:3 YOWK. Will nyot ÚwÚ this x3 mawice, ^w^ Somewset, be weft? 
uWu SOMEWSET. uWu Youw >_> pwivate :3 gwudge, x3 my Lord of York, xDD wiww ^.^ out, 
;;w;; Though ^w^ nye'ew UwU so >_> cunnyingwy xDD you >w< smothew :3 it. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ Good Wowd, >_> what ^-^ madnyess wuwes uWu in :33 bwainsick 
men, x3 When fow UwU so :3 swight ÚwÚ and :33 fwivowous :3 a cause 
>w< Such uWu factious emulations UwU shaww xDD awise! 
^-^ Good cousins xDD both, of York ÚwÚ and ^w^ Somewset, 
Quiet ^w^ youwsewves, UwU I pray, ÚwÚ and be uWu at peace. 
:3 YOWK. Let ÚwÚ this xDD dissension xDD fiwst be ;;w;; twied ^.^ by x3 fight, 
xDD And xDD then x3 youw >_> Highnyess UwU shaww ÚwÚ command :3 a peace. 
uWu SOMEWSET. uWu The ^-^ quawwew x3 toucheth >_< nyonye >_> but >_> us ^.^ awonye; 
Betwixt ouwsewves wet >_> us UwU decide >w< it UwU then. 
:3 YOWK. >_> Thewe >_> is x3 my pwedge; xDD accept :33 it, ^w^ Somewset. 
VERNON. Nyay, wet >w< it xDD west :3 whewe >w< it began uWu at fiwst. 
:33 BASSET. :33 Confiwm >w< it >_> so, >_< minye ^.^ honyouwabwe OwO wowd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :33 Confiwm >w< it so? ;;w;; Confounded be x3 youw stwife; 
xDD And xDD pewish :3 ye, with x3 youw audacious xDD pwate! 
>_< Pwesumptuous ^w^ vassaws, OwO awe xDD you nyot >w< asham'd 
With ÚwÚ this xDD immodest ;;w;; cwamowous outrage 
;;w;; To >_> twoubwe ÚwÚ and ^.^ distuwb x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and us? 
xDD And UwU you, x3 my lords- uWu methinks xDD you UwU do nyot weww 
;;w;; To UwU beaw with uWu theiw :3 pewvewse UwU objections, 
Much less to OwO take ;;w;; occasion from uWu theiw mouths 
;;w;; To >w< waise :3 a mutiny betwixt youwsewves. 
Let ;;w;; me :33 pewsuade xDD you OwO take :3 a xDD bettew course. 
UwU EXETEW. ^.^ It grieves :33 his ;;w;; Highnyess. ^-^ Good x3 my wowds, be fwiends. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Come hithew, xDD you :3 that ^.^ wouwd be combatants: 
ÚwÚ Hencefowth UwU I :3 chawge UwU you, >_< as xDD you wuv UwU ouw favour, 
>_< Quite to x3 fowget ÚwÚ this ^-^ quawwew ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO cause. 
xDD And UwU you, x3 my wowds, remember :3 whewe ^.^ we are: 
^w^ In >_< Fwance, amongst :3 a >_> fickwe ^w^ wavewing nation; 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they >_> pewceive xDD dissension uWu in UwU ouw :33 wooks 
xDD And :3 that within ouwsewves ^.^ we disagree, 
How xDD wiww uWu theiw gwudging ^w^ stomachs be ^.^ pwovok'd 
;;w;; To ^.^ wiwfuw >w< disobedience, ÚwÚ and rebel! 
>w< Beside, >_> what infamy xDD wiww there arise 
x3 When :33 foweign pwinces UwU shaww be ÚwÚ cewtified 
:33 That fow :3 a ^-^ toy, :3 a ^.^ thing of nyo regard, 
^w^ King >_> Henwy's peews ÚwÚ and uWu chief >_> nyobiwity 
;;w;; Destwoy'd x3 themsewves ÚwÚ and wost x3 the weawm of France! 
>_< O, think ;;w;; upon x3 the conquest of x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
OwO My xDD tendew uWu yeaws; ÚwÚ and wet >_> us nyot :3 fowgo 
:33 That fow :3 a xDD twifwe :3 that UwU was xDD bought with UwU bwood! 
Let ;;w;; me be umpiwe uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ doubtfuw x3 stwife. 
UwU I >_> see nyo weason, >_> if UwU I ^-^ weaw ÚwÚ this rose, 
[Putting on :3 a red wose] 
:33 That xDD any one >_> shouwd >_< thewefowe be >w< suspicious 
UwU I ^.^ mowe incline to Somerset than York: 
UwU Both OwO awe x3 my :3 kinsmen, ÚwÚ and UwU I wuv them xDD both. 
;;w;; As weww ;;w;; they OwO may x3 upbwaid ;;w;; me with x3 my :3 cwown, 
Because, xDD fowsooth, x3 the ^w^ King of x3 Scots >_> is UwU cwown'd. 
OwO But x3 youw discretions xDD bettew ^.^ can :33 pewsuade 
Than UwU I ^w^ am able to instwuct ow ^-^ teach; 
^.^ And, OwO thewefowe, >_< as ^.^ we ÚwÚ hithew ^-^ came uWu in ÚwÚ peace, 
^w^ So wet >_> us still >w< continyue uWu peace ÚwÚ and love. 
x3 Cousin of York, ^.^ we institute x3 youw Gwace 
;;w;; To be UwU ouw Regent uWu in these parts of Fwance. 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ good x3 my Lord of ^w^ Somewset, uWu unyite 
uWu Youw troops of ^.^ howsemen with :33 his ^.^ bands of >w< foot; 
xDD And ^.^ wike true xDD subjects, xDD sons of x3 youw uWu pwogenyitows, 
Go cheerfully togethew ÚwÚ and digest 
uWu Youw angry ^.^ chowew on x3 youw enemies. 
Ourself, x3 my Lord ;;w;; Pwotectow, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ west, 
>w< Aftew x3 some x3 wespite xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn to Calais; 
Fwom thence to England, :3 whewe UwU I UwU hope ere ^-^ wong 
;;w;; To be pwesented ^.^ by x3 youw victories 
With Chawwes, Awencon, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^-^ twaitowous >_< wout. 
>w< Fwouwish. Exeunt aww >_> but YORK, ^w^ WAWWICK, 
x3 EXETEW, VEWNyON 
WARWICK. OwO My Lord of York, UwU I promise UwU you, x3 the ^w^ King 
Prettily, x3 methought, uWu did :33 pway x3 the >_< owatow. 
:3 YOWK. xDD And UwU so ^.^ he ^.^ did; >_> but yet UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it >_> nyot, 
^w^ In :3 that ^.^ he ^-^ weaws x3 the x3 badge of ^w^ Somewset. 
WARWICK. Tush, :3 that UwU was >_> but :33 his fancy; uWu bwame ^.^ him x3 nyot; 
UwU I dawe pwesume, x3 sweet >_< pwince, ^.^ he xDD thought nyo harm. 
:3 YOWK. ^-^ An >_> if UwU I ÚwÚ wist ^.^ he x3 did-but wet >w< it rest; 
;;w;; Othew affairs ^w^ must nyow be xDD manyaged. 
Exeunt aww >_> but >_> EXETEW 
UwU EXETEW. Weww :33 didst UwU thou, ^.^ Wichawd, to suppress >w< thy voice; 
For xDD had x3 the passions of >w< thy >_< heawt burst ^.^ out, 
UwU I feaw ^.^ we >_> shouwd uWu have :3 seen deciphew'd there 
uWu Mowe >_< wancowous xDD spite, ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ fuwious waging bwoiws, 
Than yet ^.^ can be xDD imagin'd ow >_< suppos'd. 
OwO But howsoe'ew, nyo :33 simpwe x3 man :3 that sees 
This >_< jawwing ^-^ discowd of nobility, 
This shouwdewing of >_< each othew uWu in x3 the xDD couwt, 
This uWu factious ^.^ bandying of uWu theiw xDD favouwites, 
OwO But :3 that >w< it xDD doth presage x3 some :33 iww UwU event. 
'Tis much when sceptres OwO awe uWu in chiwdwen's hands; 
OwO But ^.^ mowe when :3 envy breeds :3 unkind UwU division: 
>_> Thewe x3 comes x3 the >w< wuin, there ÚwÚ begins uWu confusion. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

Fwance. ^.^ Befowe xDD Bowdeaux 

Entew TALBOT, with >_< twump ÚwÚ and drum 

TAWBOT. Go to x3 the :3 gates of Bordeaux, ^.^ twumpetew; 
^.^ Summon uWu theiw general >w< unto x3 the wall. 

Trumpet sounds :3 a >_< pawwey. OwO Entew, awoft, x3 the 
GENyEWAW ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE FRENCH, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

:3 Engwish John Talbot, UwU Captains, ;;w;; cawws xDD you ^-^ fowth, 
Sewvant uWu in :3 awms to ÚwÚ Hawwy ^w^ King of x3 Engwand; 
xDD And OwO thus ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd open x3 youw UwU city ^.^ gates, 
^w^ Be humble to us, caww x3 my suvweignvouws 
xDD And UwU do ^.^ him UwU homage >_< as obedient xDD subjects, 
xDD And I'll >_< withdwaw ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 my bwoody power; 
OwO But >_> if xDD you fwown ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this x3 pwoffew'd ÚwÚ peace, 
>_> You tempt x3 the UwU fuwy of x3 my >w< thwee uWu attendants, 
x3 Wean faminye, >_> quawtewing >w< steew, ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwimbing x3 fiwe; 
Who uWu in :3 a x3 moment even with x3 the ^.^ eawth 
Shall uWu way x3 youw ÚwÚ statewy ÚwÚ and ^w^ aiw :33 bwaving UwU towews, 
;;w;; If xDD you ^w^ fowsake x3 the offer of uWu theiw love. 
GENyEWAW ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE ^.^ FWENCH. ^.^ Thou >w< ominyous ÚwÚ and x3 feawfuw owl of 
UwU death, 
Our ^.^ nyation's tewwow ÚwÚ and uWu theiw bwoody uWu scouwge! 
uWu The pewiod of >w< thy uWu tywanny approacheth. 
On >_> us xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot enter >_> but ^.^ by ÚwÚ death; 
For, UwU I protest, ^.^ we OwO awe weww >_> fowtified, 
xDD And >w< stwong enough to x3 issue x3 out ÚwÚ and ^w^ fight. 
;;w;; If xDD thou wetiwe, x3 the ÚwÚ Dauphin, weww :33 appointed, 
Stands with x3 the ^.^ snyawes of >w< waw to ÚwÚ tangwe thee. 
On xDD eithew uWu hand uWu thee there OwO awe squadrons pitch'd 
;;w;; To waww uWu thee from x3 the ^w^ wibewty of x3 fwight, 
xDD And nyo uWu way ;;w;; canst xDD thou turn uWu thee fow xDD wedwess 
OwO But :33 death xDD doth >w< fwont uWu thee with apparent :33 spoiw 
xDD And pawe >w< destwuction ^.^ meets uWu thee uWu in x3 the ;;w;; face. 
uWu Ten thousand OwO Fwench uWu have >_> ta'en x3 the sacwament 
;;w;; To ^w^ wive uWu theiw uWu dangewous ^w^ awtiwwewy 
>_> Upon nyo Christian :3 souw >_> but :3 Engwish uWu Tawbot. 
Lo, there xDD thou :3 stand'st, :3 a :33 bweathing uWu vawiant ^w^ man, 
Of >w< an invincibwe unconquer'd :33 spiwit! 
This >_> is x3 the ^-^ watest :3 gwowy of >w< thy praise 
:33 That I, >w< thy enyemy, >_< due uWu thee withal; 
For ere x3 the gwass :3 that nyow ÚwÚ begins to >w< wun 
>w< Finyish x3 the xDD pwocess of :33 his uWu sandy ^-^ houw, 
;;w;; These eyes :3 that >_> see uWu thee nyow weww :3 cowouwed 
Shall >_> see uWu thee withewed, x3 bwoody, pawe, ÚwÚ and uWu dead. 
[Drum afaw off] 
:33 Hawk! x3 hawk! uWu The ;;w;; Dauphin's dwum, :3 a :3 wawnying OwO beww, 
;;w;; Sings x3 heavy uWu music to >w< thy uWu timowous ^.^ souw; 
xDD And >_< minye UwU shaww OwO wing >w< thy xDD diwe :3 depawtuwe OwO out. uWu Exit 
TAWBOT. >w< He fables x3 nyot; UwU I hear x3 the enemy. 
Out, x3 some >w< wight howsemen, ÚwÚ and OwO pewuse uWu theiw xDD wings. 
>_< O, negligent ÚwÚ and heedwess >w< discipwinye! 
How OwO awe ^.^ we >_< pawk'd ÚwÚ and ^w^ bounded uWu in :3 a pawe 
^-^ A xDD wittwe hewd of Engwand's uWu timowous deew, 
xDD Maz'd with :3 a ^-^ yewping kennel of OwO Fwench cuws! 
;;w;; If ^.^ we be :3 Engwish deew, be xDD then uWu in ^-^ bwood; 
ÚwÚ Nyot UwU wascaw-wike to faww down with :3 a pinch, 
OwO But UwU wathew, >_> moody-mad ÚwÚ and despewate uWu stags, 
Tuwn on x3 the bwoody >_< hounds with heads of steew 
xDD And >_< make x3 the ^w^ cowawds stand >_< awoof uWu at x3 bay. 
Sell every x3 man :33 his >w< wife >_< as uWu deaw >_< as >_> minye, 
xDD And ;;w;; they UwU shaww find uWu deaw >w< deew of us, x3 my fwiends. 
^w^ God ÚwÚ and Saint ;;w;; Geowge, Talbot ÚwÚ and Engwand's wight, 
:33 Pwospew UwU ouw cowouws uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu dangewous ^.^ fight! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

Plains uWu in Gascony 

Entew YORK, with ÚwÚ twumpet ÚwÚ and UwU many soldiers. ^-^ A 
MESSENGEW ^.^ meets ^.^ him 

:3 YOWK. ^w^ Awe nyot x3 the UwU speedy ^w^ scouts wetuwn'd again 
:33 That >_< dogg'd x3 the ^-^ mighty ^.^ awmy of x3 the ÚwÚ Dauphin? 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^-^ They OwO awe :3 wetuwn'd, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and UwU give >w< it x3 out 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is :3 mawch'd to xDD Bowdeaux with :33 his powew 
;;w;; To >w< fight with ;;w;; Tawbot; >_< as ^.^ he :3 mawch'd along, 
^-^ By x3 youw >_< espiaws :3 wewe discovered 
Two OwO mightiew troops than :3 that x3 the uWu Dauphin ;;w;; wed, 
>_< Which OwO join'd with ^.^ him ÚwÚ and UwU made uWu theiw :33 mawch fow 
>_< Bowdeaux. 
:3 YOWK. ^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon :3 that viwwain Somerset 
:33 That OwO thus delays x3 my promised suppwy 
Of ^.^ howsemen :3 that :3 wewe ^w^ wevied fow ÚwÚ this siege! 
UwU Wenyownyed Talbot xDD doth >_< expect x3 my ^w^ aid, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am uWu wouted ^.^ by :3 a traitor viwwain 
xDD And ;;w;; cannyot OwO hewp x3 the x3 nyobwe ^-^ chevawiew. 
^w^ God uWu comfowt ^.^ him uWu in ÚwÚ this nyecessity! 
;;w;; If ^.^ he uWu miscawwy, >_< faweweww UwU waws uWu in Fwance. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM WUCY 

x3 WUCY. ^.^ Thou princely weadew of UwU ouw :3 Engwish >_< stwength, 
xDD Nyevew UwU so needful on x3 the ^.^ eawth of >_< Fwance, 
>_< Spuw to x3 the OwO wescue of x3 the x3 nyobwe Talbot, 
Who nyow >_> is ;;w;; giwdwed with :3 a x3 waist of iwon 
xDD And hemm'd about with gwim ^.^ destwuction. 
;;w;; To Bordeaux, warlike >w< Duke! to Bordeaux, York! 
^w^ Ewse, >_< faweweww Talbot, >_< Fwance, ÚwÚ and Engwand's honyouw. 
:3 YOWK. x3 O :33 God, :3 that ^w^ Somewset, who uWu in OwO pwoud >_< heawt 
^-^ Doth ÚwÚ stop x3 my ÚwÚ cownyets, :3 wewe uWu in Tawbot's ÚwÚ pwace! 
^w^ So >_> shouwd ^.^ we :3 save :3 a uWu vawiant ÚwÚ gentweman 
^-^ By fowfeiting :3 a traitor ÚwÚ and :3 a cowawd. 
Mad ^-^ iwe ÚwÚ and wrathful UwU fuwy x3 makes ;;w;; me xDD weep 
:33 That OwO thus ^.^ we ^-^ die OwO whiwe remiss traitors OwO sweep. 
x3 WUCY. >_< O, >_> send x3 some succouw to x3 the uWu distwess'd ^.^ wowd! 
:3 YOWK. >w< He :33 dies; ^.^ we OwO wose; UwU I bweak x3 my warlike OwO wowd. 
We uWu mouwn: Fwance >_> smiwes. We lose: ;;w;; they x3 daiwy OwO get- 
All ^-^ wong of ÚwÚ this ^-^ viwe traitor ^w^ Somewset. 
x3 WUCY. UwU Then ^w^ God OwO take xDD mewcy on >_< bwave Tawbot's x3 souw, 
xDD And on :33 his x3 son, xDD young John, who >w< two >_> houws xDD since 
UwU I >w< met uWu in travel toward :33 his warlike :33 fathew. 
This ÚwÚ seven years uWu did nyot Talbot >_> see :33 his son; 
xDD And nyow ;;w;; they :3 meet :3 whewe both uWu theiw ;;w;; wives OwO awe ^-^ donye. 
:3 YOWK. ÚwÚ Awas, >_> what joy UwU shaww x3 nyobwe Talbot uWu have 
;;w;; To bid :33 his xDD young >_< son wewcome to :33 his gwave? 
>_> Away! uWu vexation almost xDD stops x3 my :33 bweath, 
:33 That UwU sund'wed ^w^ fwiends x3 gweet uWu in x3 the >_> houw of death. 
Wucy, faweweww; nyo ^.^ mowe x3 my :3 fowtunye ^.^ can 
OwO But UwU cuwse x3 the cause UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> aid x3 the man. 
^-^ Mainye, :33 Bwois, >_< Poictiews, ÚwÚ and Touws, OwO awe ^.^ won OwO away 
OwO Wong aww of Somerset ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 deway. uWu Exit with forces 
x3 WUCY. Thus, OwO whiwe x3 the vulture of >_> sedition 
>_< Feeds uWu in x3 the ^w^ bosom of xDD such great commanders, 
Sleeping ÚwÚ nyegwection xDD doth ÚwÚ betway to ^-^ woss 
uWu The conquest of UwU ouw scawce UwU cowd x3 conquewow, 
:33 That evew-wiving x3 man of xDD memowy, 
Henwy x3 the >w< Fifth. Whiwes ;;w;; they >_< each othew cwoss, 
Wives, honours, lands, ÚwÚ and all, huwwy to loss. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

;;w;; Othew UwU pwains of Gascony 

Entew SOMERSET, With :33 his fowces; >w< an OFFICEW of 
>_> TAWBOT'S with ^.^ him 

uWu SOMEWSET. ^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too late; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> send them now. 
This ÚwÚ expedition UwU was ^.^ by York ÚwÚ and Talbot 
Too rashly pwotted; aww UwU ouw general force 
^.^ Might with :3 a >_> sawwy of x3 the xDD vewy :33 town 
^w^ Be UwU buckwed with. uWu The uvw daring Talbot 
>_< Hath UwU suwwied aww :33 his gloss of xDD fowmew honour 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this unheedful, desperate, >w< wiwd adventuwe. 
York uWu set ^.^ him on to >w< fight ÚwÚ and ^-^ die uWu in ;;w;; shame. 
^.^ That, Talbot >_< dead, great York ^w^ might UwU beaw x3 the nyame. 
:3 OFFICEW. :3 Hewe >_> is Sir ;;w;; Wiwwiam Wucy, who with ;;w;; me 
Set from UwU ouw xDD o'ew-match'd forces fowth fow OwO aid. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM WUCY 

uWu SOMEWSET. How now, Sir xDD Wiwwiam! x3 Whithew :3 wewe xDD you >_< sent? 
x3 WUCY. Whithew, x3 my ^.^ wowd! Fwom xDD bought ÚwÚ and sold Lord 
Talbot, 
UwU Who, wing'd about with bold advewsity, 
>w< Cwies x3 out fow x3 nyobwe York ÚwÚ and Somerset 
;;w;; To xDD beat ^w^ assaiwing :33 death from :33 his xDD weak wegions; 
xDD And whiwes x3 the ^.^ honyouwabwe UwU captain there 
>w< Dwops bwoody UwU sweat from :33 his war-wearied x3 wimbs 
^.^ And, uWu in ^w^ advantage wing'wing, :33 wooks fow wescue, 
>_< You, :33 his UwU fawse hopes, x3 the :33 twust of Engwand's honyouw, 
^w^ Keep x3 off >_< awoof with :33 wowthwess emulation. 
Let nyot x3 youw >_> pwivate ^-^ discowd >_< keep OwO away 
uWu The ^w^ wevied succouws :3 that >_> shouwd xDD wend ^.^ him ^w^ aid, 
While xDD he, uWu wenyownyed x3 nyobwe gentweman, 
;;w;; Yiewd x3 up :33 his >w< wife >w< unto :3 a wowwd of odds. 
Owweans x3 the Bastard, Chawwes, x3 Buwgundy, 
Awencon, Weignyiew, compass ^.^ him about, 
xDD And Talbot perisheth ^.^ by x3 youw >_> defauwt. 
uWu SOMEWSET. York uWu set ^.^ him xDD on; York >_> shouwd uWu have sent ^.^ him OwO aid. 
x3 WUCY. xDD And York >_< as ÚwÚ fast ;;w;; upon x3 youw Gwace >_> excwaims, 
Swearing :3 that xDD you :3 withhowd :33 his ^w^ wevied >_< host, 
Cowwected fow ÚwÚ this UwU expedition. 
uWu SOMEWSET. York >w< wies; ^.^ he ^w^ might uWu have sent ÚwÚ and xDD had x3 the horse. 
UwU I >_> owe ^.^ him xDD wittwe >_> duty ÚwÚ and less xDD wuv, 
xDD And OwO take fouw ^w^ scown to ^-^ fawn on ^.^ him ^.^ by :33 sending. 
x3 WUCY. uWu The OwO fwaud of England, nyot x3 the force of >_< Fwance, 
>_< Hath nyow >_< entwapp'd x3 the x3 nyobwe >_> minded uWu Tawbot. 
xDD Nyevew to England UwU shaww ^.^ he UwU beaw :33 his :3 wife, 
OwO But dies betray'd to :3 fowtunye ^.^ by x3 youw x3 stwife. 
uWu SOMEWSET. ^.^ Come, go; UwU I xDD wiww dispatch x3 the ^.^ howsemen >_< stwaight; 
OwO Within six >_> houws ;;w;; they xDD wiww be uWu at :33 his OwO aid. 
x3 WUCY. Too wate x3 comes ^.^ wescue; ^.^ he >_> is >_> ta'en ow x3 swain, 
For fwy ^.^ he couwd nyot >_> if ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have fled; 
xDD And fwy ^.^ wouwd Talbot ;;w;; nyevew, ^w^ though ^.^ he ^.^ might. 
uWu SOMEWSET. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be >_< dead, >_< bwave Talbot, >w< then, ^w^ adieu! 
x3 WUCY. ÚwÚ His fame ;;w;; wives uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, :33 his ^-^ shame uWu in OwO you. Exeunt 


>w< SCENyE 5. 

uWu The :3 Engwish ÚwÚ camp nyeaw xDD Bowdeaux 

Entew :3 TAWBOT ÚwÚ and >_< JOHN :33 his >_< son 

TAWBOT. x3 O xDD young John ÚwÚ Tawbot! UwU I uWu did >_> send fow uWu thee 
;;w;; To ;;w;; tutow uWu thee uWu in UwU stwatagems of waw, 
:33 That Tawbot's xDD nyame ^w^ might be uWu in uWu thee xDD weviv'd 
x3 When sapless age ÚwÚ and xDD weak xDD unyabwe x3 wimbs 
Should ;;w;; bwing >w< thy >w< fathew to :33 his ;;w;; dwooping :3 chaiw. 
But, x3 O malignant ÚwÚ and ;;w;; iww-boding UwU staws! 
Now xDD thou awt come >w< unto :3 a >_> feast of UwU death, 
^-^ A tewwibwe ÚwÚ and >w< unyavoided xDD dangew; 
>_< Thewefowe, uWu deaw ^-^ boy, ^-^ mount on x3 my :33 swiftest horse, 
xDD And I'll direct uWu thee >w< how xDD thou shalt escape 
^-^ By ^.^ sudden fwight. ^.^ Come, dawwy >_> nyot, be ;;w;; gonye. 
OwO JOHN. Is x3 my xDD nyame Talbot, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am UwU I x3 youw uWu son? 
xDD And UwU shaww UwU I >w< fwy? >_< O, >_> if xDD you wuv x3 my :33 mothew, 
Dishonour nyot her ^.^ honyouwabwe :33 nyame, 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a ^.^ bastawd ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; swave of me! 
uWu The wowwd xDD wiww >_> say ^.^ he >_> is nyot Tawbot's :3 bwood 
:33 That xDD basewy ^w^ fwed when x3 nyobwe Talbot ^-^ stood. 
TAWBOT. xDD Fwy to xDD wevenge x3 my UwU death, >_> if UwU I be ^w^ swain. 
OwO JOHN. >w< He :3 that fwies UwU so xDD wiww ^w^ nye'ew ^-^ wetuwn ;;w;; again. 
TAWBOT. ;;w;; If ^.^ we both ;;w;; stay, ^.^ we both OwO awe >_< suwe to die. 
OwO JOHN. UwU Then wet ;;w;; me >_< stay; x3 and, ÚwÚ fathew, UwU do xDD you fwy. 
uWu Youw ^-^ woss >_> is ^.^ gweat, UwU so x3 youw regard >_> shouwd be; 
OwO My ^.^ wowth uWu unknyown, nyo ^-^ woss >_> is ÚwÚ knyown uWu in OwO me; 
>_> Upon x3 my :33 death x3 the OwO Fwench ^.^ can xDD wittwe boast; 
^w^ In >_> youws ;;w;; they :33 wiww, uWu in xDD you aww hopes OwO awe :3 wost. 
Flight ;;w;; cannyot stain x3 the honour xDD you uWu have ^w^ won; 
OwO But >_< minye >w< it :33 wiww, :3 that nyo ^.^ expwoit uWu have donye; 
>_> You ^w^ fwed fow vantage, every one xDD wiww :33 sweaw; 
OwO But >_> if UwU I UwU bow, they'ww >_> say >w< it UwU was fow ;;w;; feaw. 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo UwU hope :3 that OwO evew UwU I xDD wiww xDD stay 
;;w;; If x3 the xDD fiwst >_> houw UwU I >w< shwink ÚwÚ and >w< wun xDD away. 
Here, on x3 my OwO knyee, UwU I ÚwÚ beg uWu mowtawity, 
Rather than >w< wife preserv'd with xDD infamy. 
TAWBOT. Shall aww >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's hopes >_< wie uWu in one ^.^ tomb? 
OwO JOHN. Ay, rather than I'll ^-^ shame x3 my ;;w;; mothew's womb. 
TAWBOT. >_> Upon x3 my >_> bwessing UwU I ÚwÚ command uWu thee ÚwÚ go. 
OwO JOHN. ;;w;; To >w< fight UwU I :33 wiww, >_> but nyot to fwy x3 the foe. 
TAWBOT. Pawt of >w< thy >w< fathew OwO may be >w< sav'd uWu in thee. 
OwO JOHN. No ÚwÚ pawt of ^.^ him >_> but xDD wiww be ^-^ shame uWu in x3 me. 
TAWBOT. ^.^ Thou >_< nyevew >w< hadst OwO wenyown, nor ;;w;; canst nyot wose :3 it. 
OwO JOHN. Yes, x3 youw uWu wenyownyed UwU nyame; UwU shaww :33 fwight abuse :33 it? 
TAWBOT. x3 Thy father's :3 chawge UwU shaww ^-^ cweaw uWu thee from :3 that :3 stain. 
OwO JOHN. >_> You ;;w;; cannyot >_> witnyess fow uWu me, ^.^ being ^w^ swain. 
;;w;; If :33 death be UwU so apparent, xDD then both fwy. 
TAWBOT. xDD And OwO weave x3 my ÚwÚ fowwowews OwO hewe to >w< fight ÚwÚ and die? 
OwO My age UwU was >_< nyevew xDD tainted with xDD such ;;w;; shame. 
OwO JOHN. xDD And UwU shaww x3 my :33 youth be guiwty of xDD such blame? 
No ^.^ mowe ^.^ can UwU I be ÚwÚ sevewed from x3 youw x3 side 
Than ^.^ can >_> youwsewf >_> youwsewf >_> youwsewf uWu in twain ÚwÚ divide. 
Stay, x3 go, UwU do >_> what xDD you :33 wiww, x3 the ^.^ wike UwU do x3 I; 
For ^w^ wive UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> if x3 my >w< fathew die. 
TAWBOT. UwU Then OwO hewe UwU I OwO take x3 my OwO weave of ÚwÚ thee, >w< faiw x3 son, 
x3 Bown to OwO ecwipse >w< thy >w< wife ÚwÚ this aftewnyoon. 
^.^ Come, x3 side ^.^ by x3 side togethew ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and :3 die; 
xDD And :3 souw with :3 souw from Fwance to heaven fwy. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 6. 

^-^ A field of ÚwÚ battwe 

:3 Awawum: excuwsions wherein >_< JOHN :3 TAWBOT >_> is hemm'd 
about, ÚwÚ and :3 TAWBOT uWu wescues ^.^ him 

TAWBOT. Saint ^w^ Geowge ÚwÚ and x3 victowy! Fight, xDD sowdiews, ^w^ fight. 
uWu The Regent hath with Talbot broke :33 his ;;w;; wowd 
xDD And left >_> us to x3 the xDD wage of Fwance :33 his ^-^ swowd. 
Whewe >_> is John ^w^ Tawbot? >_> Pause ÚwÚ and OwO take >w< thy breath; 
UwU I uWu gave uWu thee >w< wife ÚwÚ and >_> wescu'd uWu thee from death. 
OwO JOHN. >_< O, twice x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, twice ^w^ am UwU I >w< thy ^w^ son! 
uWu The >w< wife xDD thou >w< gav'st ;;w;; me xDD fiwst UwU was wost ÚwÚ and donye 
Tiww with >w< thy warlike uWu swowd, ;;w;; despite of fate, 
;;w;; To x3 my ;;w;; detewmin'd time xDD thou >w< gav'st x3 nyew >_> date. 
TAWBOT. x3 When from x3 the ;;w;; Dauphin's uWu cwest >w< thy xDD swowd >w< stwuck 
^w^ fiwe, 
^.^ It x3 wawm'd >w< thy father's >_< heawt with OwO pwoud ^.^ desiwe 
Of xDD bowd-fac'd ^.^ victowy. UwU Then weaden age, 
^-^ Quicken'd with youthfuw UwU spween ÚwÚ and warlike rage, 
uWu Beat down Awencon, ^.^ Owweans, x3 Buwgundy, 
xDD And from x3 the >_< pwide of Gawwia rescued thee. 
uWu The iwefuw ^.^ bastawd ^.^ Owweans, :3 that >w< dwew :3 bwood 
Fwom ÚwÚ thee, x3 my ^-^ boy, ÚwÚ and xDD had x3 the ^.^ maidenhood 
Of >w< thy xDD fiwst x3 fight, UwU I >w< soon UwU encountewed 
^.^ And, intewchanging ÚwÚ bwows, UwU I quickly x3 shed 
;;w;; Some of :33 his ^.^ bastawd ^-^ bwood; ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD disgwace 
xDD Bespoke ^.^ him thus: ÚwÚ 'Contaminyated, base, 
xDD And misbegotten :3 bwood UwU I ^.^ spiww of xDD thinye, 
UwU Mean ÚwÚ and >w< wight OwO poow, fow :3 that puwe :3 bwood of >_< minye 
>_< Which xDD thou :33 didst force from Talbot, x3 my >_< bwave UwU boy.' 
:3 Hewe UwU puwposing x3 the :33 Bastawd to destroy, 
>_< Came uWu in >w< stwong rescue. ÚwÚ Speak, >w< thy father's ;;w;; cawe; 
Awt xDD thou nyot OwO weawy, ^w^ John? How dost xDD thou >_> fawe? 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou yet OwO weave x3 the battwe, ^-^ boy, ÚwÚ and fly, 
Now xDD thou awt OwO seaw'd x3 the >_< son of ;;w;; chivawwy? 
:33 Fwy, to xDD wevenge x3 my :33 death when UwU I ^w^ am dead: 
uWu The OwO hewp of one >w< stands ;;w;; me uWu in xDD wittwe stead. 
>_< O, ^w^ too much >w< fowwy >_> is :33 it, weww UwU I UwU wot, 
;;w;; To >_< hazawd aww UwU ouw ;;w;; wives uWu in one UwU smaww xDD boat! 
;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ to-day ^-^ die nyot with Frenchmen's rage, 
>_< To-mowwow UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ die with mickwe age. 
^-^ By ;;w;; me ;;w;; they >_< nyothing ^.^ gain >w< an >_> if UwU I uWu stay: 
'Tis >_> but x3 the :3 showt'nying of x3 my >w< wife one x3 day. 
^w^ In uWu thee >w< thy mothew dies, UwU ouw household's :33 nyame, 
OwO My ^w^ death's UwU wevenge, >w< thy youth, ÚwÚ and Engwand's ^w^ fame. 
All these ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe ^.^ we >_< hazawd ^.^ by >w< thy >_< stay; 
All these OwO awe >w< sav'd >_> if xDD thou wiwt fwy xDD away. 
OwO JOHN. uWu The xDD swowd of Owweans hath nyot UwU made ;;w;; me >w< smawt; 
;;w;; These wowds of >_> youws dwaw life-blood from x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
On :3 that ÚwÚ advantage, xDD bought with xDD such :3 a UwU shame, 
;;w;; To :3 save :3 a paltry >w< wife ÚwÚ and slay uWu bwight x3 fame, 
^.^ Befowe xDD young Talbot from ;;w;; owd Talbot fly, 
uWu The x3 cowawd UwU howse :3 that bears ;;w;; me faww ÚwÚ and ^-^ die! 
xDD And ^.^ wike ;;w;; me to x3 the peasant >_< boys of >_< Fwance, 
;;w;; To be UwU shame's ^w^ scown ÚwÚ and x3 subject of mischance! 
uWu Suwewy, ^.^ by aww x3 the :3 gwowy xDD you uWu have >_> won, 
^-^ An >_> if UwU I fly, UwU I ^w^ am nyot Tawbot's son; 
UwU Then tawk nyo ^.^ mowe of x3 fwight, >w< it >_> is nyo OwO boot; 
;;w;; If >_< son to Talbot, ^-^ die uWu at Tawbot's ^-^ foot. 
TAWBOT. UwU Then ;;w;; fowwow xDD thou >w< thy desp'wate >w< siwe of ^w^ Cwete, 
^.^ Thou xDD Icawus; >w< thy >w< wife to ;;w;; me >_> is sweet. 
;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt x3 fight, >w< fight ^.^ by >w< thy father's x3 side; 
^.^ And, commendabwe pwov'd, >_> wet's ^-^ die uWu in pwide. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 7. 

ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

Alarum; ^w^ excuwsions. Entew ;;w;; owd :3 TAWBOT x3 wed ^.^ by :3 a SEWVANT 

TAWBOT. Whewe >_> is x3 my othew :33 wife? Mine UwU own >_> is ;;w;; gonye. 
>_< O, where's xDD young ^w^ Tawbot? Whewe >_> is uWu vawiant ^w^ John? 
^-^ Twiumphant UwU death, ^-^ smeaw'd with ^w^ captivity, 
Young Tawbot's valour x3 makes ;;w;; me ;;w;; smiwe uWu at thee. 
x3 When ^.^ he ^-^ pewceiv'd ;;w;; me >w< shwink ÚwÚ and on x3 my OwO knyee, 
ÚwÚ His bwoody xDD swowd ^.^ he :3 bwandish'd uvw uWu me, 
xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a hungwy wion uWu did ^.^ commence 
^-^ Wough >_< deeds of xDD wage ÚwÚ and xDD stewn x3 impatience; 
OwO But when x3 my angry xDD guawdant :33 stood ^-^ awonye, 
UwU Tend'wing x3 my xDD wuin ÚwÚ and >_< assaiw'd of nyonye, 
Dizzy-ey'd UwU fuwy ÚwÚ and great xDD wage of >_< heawt 
Suddenly UwU made ^.^ him from x3 my x3 side to start 
^.^ Into x3 the >w< cwust'wing ÚwÚ battwe of x3 the Fwench; 
xDD And uWu in :3 that sea of :3 bwood x3 my ;;w;; boy uWu did UwU dwench 
ÚwÚ His overmounting uWu spiwit; ÚwÚ and there died, 
OwO My >_< Icawus, x3 my bwossom, uWu in :33 his pwide. 

Entew xDD sowdiews, :33 beawing x3 the >w< body of >_< JOHN :3 TAWBOT 

SEWVANT. x3 O x3 my uWu deaw uWu wowd, wo :3 whewe x3 youw >_< son >_> is ^w^ bownye! 
TAWBOT. ^.^ Thou ^.^ antic Death, which waugh'st >_> us OwO hewe to ^.^ scown, 
;;w;; Anyon, from >w< thy >_< insuwting tywanny, 
Coupwed uWu in xDD bonds of xDD pewpetuity, 
Two uWu Tawbots, >_> winged ^w^ thwough x3 the uWu withew :3 sky, 
^w^ In >w< thy ;;w;; despite UwU shaww ;;w;; scape >_< mowtawity. 
x3 O xDD thou x3 whose wounds :33 become hard-favoured Death, 
^w^ Speak to >w< thy >w< fathew ere xDD thou yield >w< thy breath! 
^-^ Bwave >_> Death ^.^ by ^-^ speaking, >w< whethew ^.^ he xDD wiww ow ^.^ nyo; 
Imagine ^.^ him :3 a OwO Fwenchman ÚwÚ and >w< thy foe. 
OwO Poow ^.^ boy! ^.^ he >_> smiwes, UwU methinks, >_< as who >_> shouwd say, 
xDD Had >_> Death :33 been Fwench, xDD then >_> Death xDD had >w< died ^w^ to-day. 
^.^ Come, come, ÚwÚ and uWu way ^.^ him uWu in :33 his father's arms. 
OwO My ^w^ spiwit ^.^ can nyo longer UwU beaw these >_> hawms. 
Soldiers, ^w^ adieu! UwU I uWu have >_> what UwU I ^.^ wouwd have, 
Now x3 my ;;w;; owd :3 awms OwO awe xDD young John Tawbot's x3 gwave. :33 [Dies] 

Entew CHAWWES, ÚwÚ AWENCON, BUWGUNDY, :33 BASTAWD, 
LA ^w^ PUCEWWE, ÚwÚ and forces 

x3 CHAWWES. xDD Had York ÚwÚ and Somerset ^.^ bwought OwO wescue x3 in, 
We >_> shouwd uWu have >_> found :3 a bwoody day of UwU this. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. How x3 the xDD young whewp of UwU Tawbot's, waging wood, 
Did >w< fwesh :33 his >_< puny xDD swowd uWu in Frenchmen's UwU bwood! 
:33 PUCEWWE. Once UwU I encount'wed :3 him, ÚwÚ and OwO thus UwU I said: 
;;w;; 'Thou >_< maiden youth, be >_< vanquish'd ^.^ by :3 a >_> maid.' 
OwO But with :3 a OwO pwoud uWu majesticaw xDD high ^w^ scown 
>w< He x3 answew'd thus: 'Young Talbot UwU was nyot bown 
;;w;; To be x3 the pillage of :3 a giglot wench.' 
So, uWu wushing uWu in x3 the bowels of x3 the Fwench, 
>w< He left ;;w;; me proudly, >_< as >_< unwowthy ^w^ fight. 
BURGUNDY. Doubtless ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU made :3 a x3 nyobwe knyight. 
xDD See :3 whewe ^.^ he wies inheawsed uWu in x3 the :3 awms 
Of x3 the UwU most bwoody UwU nyuwsew of :33 his harms! 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. :3 Hew them to :3 pieces, OwO hack uWu theiw bones asunder, 
>_< Whose >w< wife UwU was Engwand's xDD gwowy, ^.^ Gawwia's :3 wondew. 
x3 CHAWWES. >_< O, ^.^ nyo; fowbeaw! For :3 that which ^.^ we uWu have ^w^ fwed 
^w^ Duwing x3 the :3 wife, wet >_> us nyot wrong >w< it uWu dead. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM Wucy, ^.^ attended; :3 a >_< FWENCH 
uWu HEWAWD preceding 

x3 WUCY. Herald, ÚwÚ conduct ;;w;; me to x3 the ;;w;; Dauphin's x3 tent, 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow who hath UwU obtain'd x3 the :3 gwowy of x3 the x3 day. 
x3 CHAWWES. On >_> what >_> submissive ^-^ message awt xDD thou >_< sent? 
x3 WUCY. ^.^ Submission, Dauphin! 'Tis :3 a mere OwO Fwench wowd: 
We :3 Engwish :33 wawwiows uWu wot nyot >_> what >w< it means. 
UwU I come to ^.^ knyow >_> what OwO pwisonyews xDD thou x3 hast x3 ta'en, 
xDD And to ;;w;; suwvey x3 the >_< bodies of x3 the uWu dead. 
x3 CHAWWES. For OwO pwisonyews >_> ask'st thou? Heww UwU ouw :3 pwison >w< is. 
OwO But tell ;;w;; me ÚwÚ whom xDD thou :3 seek'st. 
x3 WUCY. OwO But where's x3 the great x3 Awcides of x3 the >_> fiewd, 
;;w;; Vawiant Lord Talbot, ^-^ Eaww of UwU Shwewsbuwy, 
UwU Cweated fow :33 his OwO wawe >w< success uWu in :3 awms 
UwU Gweat ^-^ Eaww of Washfowd, ;;w;; Watewfowd, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Vawence, 
Lord Talbot of Goodrig ÚwÚ and Urchinfield, 
Lord Stwange of Bwackmewe, Lord ^w^ Vewdun of Awton, 
Lord Cromwell of >_> Wingfiewd, Lord Furnival of >w< Sheffiewd, 
uWu The thrice ;;w;; victowious Lord of Fawconbwidge, 
OwO Knyight of x3 the x3 nyobwe order of Saint ;;w;; Geowge, 
Wowthy Saint Michael, ÚwÚ and x3 the Gowden :33 Fweece, 
UwU Gweat UwU Mawshaw to Henwy x3 the Sixth 
Of aww :33 his UwU waws within x3 the weawm of France? 
:33 PUCEWWE. >_> Hewe's :3 a ^w^ siwwy-statewy >_> stywe ^w^ indeed! 
uWu The ÚwÚ Tuwk, :3 that >w< two ÚwÚ and :33 fifty OwO kingdoms :33 hath, 
:33 Wwites nyot UwU so tedious :3 a >_> stywe >_< as UwU this. 
xDD Him :3 that xDD thou :3 magnyifi'st with aww these tides, 
^-^ Stinking ÚwÚ and fwy-bwown wies OwO hewe uWu at UwU ouw xDD feet. 
x3 WUCY. Is Talbot slain-the Frenchmen's >w< onwy scouwge, 
uWu Youw kingdom's tewwow ÚwÚ and black ;;w;; Nyemesis? 
>_< O, :3 wewe >_< minye :33 eye-bans x3 into x3 buwwets :3 tuwn'd, 
:33 That UwU I uWu in xDD wage ^w^ might >w< shoot them uWu at x3 youw >_< faces! 
x3 O :3 that UwU I couwd >_> but ^.^ can these >_< dead to wife! 
^.^ It :3 wewe enough to :33 fwight x3 the weawm of Fwance. 
^.^ Wewe >_> but :33 his ^-^ pictuwe left amongst xDD you UwU hewe, 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd amaze x3 the OwO pwoudest of xDD you all. 
Give ;;w;; me uWu theiw >w< bodies, :3 that UwU I OwO may UwU beaw them >w< hence 
xDD And UwU give them >w< buwiaw >_< as :33 beseems uWu theiw uWu wowth. 
:33 PUCEWWE. UwU I think ÚwÚ this upstawt >_> is ;;w;; owd Tawbot's ;;w;; ghost, 
>w< He xDD speaks with xDD such :3 a OwO pwoud uWu commanding >w< spiwit. 
For >_> God's ^w^ sake, wet ^.^ him uWu have OwO them; to >_< keep them UwU hewe, 
^-^ They ^.^ wouwd >_> but >w< stink, ÚwÚ and putrefy x3 the air. 
x3 CHAWWES. ^w^ Go, OwO take uWu theiw >_< bodies x3 hence. 
x3 WUCY. I'll UwU beaw them OwO hence; >_> but from uWu theiw >_> ashes UwU shaww be 
x3 weaw'd 
^-^ A ^w^ phoenyix :3 that UwU shaww >_< make aww Fwance afeawd. 
x3 CHAWWES. ^w^ So ^.^ we be x3 wid of ÚwÚ them, UwU do with them >_> what xDD thou 
wilt. 
xDD And nyow to Paris uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ conquewing ^w^ vein! 
All xDD wiww be >_> ouws, nyow bwoody Tawbot's ^w^ swain. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Sennet. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ÚwÚ and >_> EXETEW 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Have xDD you >w< pewus'd x3 the x3 wettews from x3 the :3 Pope, 
uWu The Empewow, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Awmagnyac? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I have, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw :3 intent >_> is :33 this: 
^-^ They x3 humbwy sue >w< unto x3 youw ^.^ Excewwence 
;;w;; To uWu have :3 a UwU godwy uWu peace ^-^ concwuded of 
Between x3 the xDD weawms of England ÚwÚ and of Fwance. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How xDD doth x3 youw Gwace affect uWu theiw >w< motion? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD Weww, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and >_< as x3 the >w< onwy means 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stop ^.^ effusion of UwU ouw Christian :3 bwood 
xDD And stablish quietnyess on every ^w^ side. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Ay, marry, >_> uncwe; fow UwU I awways xDD thought 
^.^ It UwU was both OwO impious ÚwÚ and unnyatuwaw 
:33 That xDD such uWu immanyity ÚwÚ and bwoody uWu stwife 
Should OwO weign ^-^ among professors of one ÚwÚ faith. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >w< Beside, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 the :33 soonyew to ^w^ effect 
xDD And OwO suwew bind ÚwÚ this >_< knyot of OwO amity, 
uWu The ^-^ Eaww of ÚwÚ Awmagnyac, nyeaw >w< knyit to Chawwes, 
^-^ A x3 man of great ÚwÚ authowity uWu in >_< Fwance, 
:3 Pwoffews :33 his >w< onwy daughter to x3 youw Gwace 
^w^ In ^.^ mawwiage, with :3 a large ÚwÚ and >_> sumptuous ^w^ dowwy. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Mawwiage, ^w^ uncwe! ÚwÚ Awas, x3 my years OwO awe xDD young 
xDD And fitter >_> is x3 my ^-^ study ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu books 
Than >_< wanton ^-^ dawwiance with :3 a pawamouw. 
ÚwÚ Yet caww x3 th' ^-^ ambassadows, x3 and, >_< as xDD you please, 
^w^ So wet them uWu have uWu theiw ^-^ answews every onye. 
UwU I UwU shaww be weww :3 content with xDD any UwU choice 
;;w;; Tends to >_> God's :3 gwowy ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> countwy's weaw. 

Entew uWu in ;;w;; Cawdinyaw's OwO habit 
x3 BEAUFOWT, x3 the UwU PAPAW LEGATE, ÚwÚ and >w< two OwO AMBASSADOWS 

UwU EXETEW. What! Is x3 my Lord of Winchestew install'd 
xDD And ^w^ caww'd >w< unto :3 a UwU cawdinyaw's :33 degwee? 
UwU Then UwU I >_> pewceive :3 that xDD wiww be vewified 
Henwy x3 the >_< Fifth uWu did ÚwÚ sometime pwophesy: 
x3 'If >_> once ^.^ he come to be :3 a ^-^ cawdinyaw, 
^-^ He'ww >_< make :33 his cap uWu co-equaw with x3 the >_< cwown.' 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My Lords >w< Ambassadows, x3 youw sevewaw ^w^ suits 
:3 Have :33 been uWu considew'd ÚwÚ and OwO debated :3 on. 
uWu Youw OwO puwpose >_> is both ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and weasonyabwe, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe OwO awe ^.^ we :3 cewtainwy :3 wesowv'd 
;;w;; To dwaw :33 conditions of :3 a xDD fwiendwy ÚwÚ peace, 
>_< Which ^.^ by x3 my Lord of Winchestew ^.^ we >_> mean 
Shall be twanspowted presently to Fwance. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And fow x3 the x3 pwoffew of x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 youw ^.^ mastew, 
UwU I uWu have inform'd :33 his >_> Highnyess UwU so uWu at wawge, 
As, UwU wiking of x3 the >_> wady's virtuous ;;w;; gifts, 
:3 Hew >w< beauty, ÚwÚ and x3 the value of her dowew, 
>w< He xDD doth intend ^.^ she UwU shaww be Engwand's ÚwÚ Queen. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :33 [To x3 AMBASSADOW] ^w^ In :33 awgument ÚwÚ and xDD pwoof of 
which contract, 
ÚwÚ Beaw her ÚwÚ this ;;w;; jewew, >_< pwedge of x3 my OwO affection. 
xDD And >_> so, x3 my Lord ;;w;; Pwotectow, >_> see them guawded 
xDD And >w< safewy ^.^ bwought to Dover; :3 whewe x3 inshipp'd, 
^-^ Commit them to x3 the :3 fowtunye of x3 the :33 sea. 

Exeunt aww >_> but >_> WINCHESTEW ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD WEGATE 
WINCHESTEW. Stay, x3 my Lord :3 Wegate; xDD you UwU shaww xDD fiwst receive 
uWu The >w< sum of monyey which UwU I promised 
Should be ^-^ dewivewed to :33 his Howinyess 
For cwothing ;;w;; me uWu in these :3 gwave ornaments. 
LEGATE. UwU I xDD wiww >_< attend ;;w;; upon x3 youw :3 wowdship's xDD weisuwe. 
WINCHESTEW. :3 [Aside] Now Winchestew xDD wiww nyot submit, UwU I 
trow, 
:33 Ow be :33 infewiow to x3 the OwO pwoudest peer. 
Humphrey of :33 Gwoucestew, xDD thou shalt weww >_> pewceive 
:33 That :3 nyeithew uWu in birth ow fow ÚwÚ authowity 
uWu The >_> Bishop xDD wiww be ^w^ uvwbownye ^.^ by thee. 
I'll xDD eithew >_< make uWu thee >_< stoop ÚwÚ and >w< bend >w< thy OwO knyee, 
:33 Ow ^-^ sack ÚwÚ this countwy with :3 a mutiny. Exeunt 


>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

Fwance. Plains uWu in Anjou 

Entew CHAWWES, BUWGUNDY, ÚwÚ AWENCON, :33 BASTAWD, 
REIGNIER, LA ^w^ PUCEWWE, ÚwÚ and forces 

x3 CHAWWES. ;;w;; These news, x3 my wowds, OwO may cheer UwU ouw ;;w;; dwooping 
spiwits: 
'Tis uWu said x3 the :33 stout Parisians UwU do ;;w;; wevowt 
xDD And turn again >w< unto x3 the warlike >_< Fwench. 
ALENCON. UwU Then :33 mawch to >_< Pawis, royal >_> Chawwes of >_< Fwance, 
xDD And >_< keep nyot back x3 youw ÚwÚ powews uWu in dalliance. 
:33 PUCEWWE. :3 Peace be amongst ÚwÚ them, >_> if ;;w;; they turn to us; 
^-^ Ewse xDD wuin :33 combat with uWu theiw palaces! 

Entew :3 a >_< SCOUT 

SCOUT. :33 Success >w< unto UwU ouw uWu vawiant general, 
xDD And happinyess to :33 his ^w^ accompwices! 
x3 CHAWWES. >_> What UwU tidings >_> send UwU ouw x3 scouts? UwU I :33 pwithee >_< speak. 
SCOUT. uWu The :3 Engwish xDD awmy, :3 that OwO divided UwU was 
^.^ Into >w< two >_> pawties, >_> is nyow ÚwÚ conjoin'd uWu in one, 
xDD And means to UwU give xDD you ÚwÚ battwe presently. 
x3 CHAWWES. xDD Somewhat ^w^ too x3 sudden, sirs, x3 the :3 wawnying is; 
OwO But ^.^ we xDD wiww presently provide fow OwO them. 
BURGUNDY. UwU I :33 twust x3 the xDD ghost of Talbot >_> is nyot :33 thewe. 
Now ^.^ he >_> is >w< gonye, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you >_< nyeed nyot ;;w;; feaw. 
:33 PUCEWWE. Of aww UwU base passions feaw >_> is UwU most accuws'd. 
xDD Command x3 the ÚwÚ conquest, Chawwes, >w< it UwU shaww be xDD thinye, 
Let Henwy fret ÚwÚ and aww x3 the wowwd >_< wepinye. 
x3 CHAWWES. UwU Then ;;w;; on, x3 my :3 wowds; ÚwÚ and Fwance be ;;w;; fowtunyate! 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

^.^ Befowe >_> Angiews 

x3 Awawum, ^w^ excuwsions. Entew LA PUCELLE 

:33 PUCEWWE. uWu The Regent :33 conquews ÚwÚ and x3 the Fwenchmen fwy. 
Now hewp, OwO ye OwO chawming spewws ÚwÚ and periapts; 
xDD And OwO ye UwU choice ;;w;; spiwits :3 that OwO admonyish ;;w;; me 
xDD And UwU give ;;w;; me signs of ÚwÚ futuwe ^.^ accidents; [Thundew] 
>_> You UwU speedy ^.^ hewpews :3 that OwO awe >w< substitutes 
;;w;; Undew x3 the >_> wowdwy :33 monyawch of x3 the :33 nyowth, 
Appear ÚwÚ and >_> aid ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this enterprise! 

Entew x3 FIENDS 

This UwU speedy ÚwÚ and ^w^ quick xDD appeawance ÚwÚ awgues xDD pwoof 
Of x3 youw ^.^ accustom'd diligence to x3 me. 
>_> Nyow, OwO ye ^.^ famiwiaw ;;w;; spiwits :3 that OwO awe :3 cuww'd 
UwU Out of x3 the powerful regions :33 undew earth, 
^-^ Hewp ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this ^w^ once, :3 that Fwance OwO may get x3 the >_> fiewd. 
^w^ [They UwU wawk ÚwÚ and speak >_< nyot] 
>_< O, howd ;;w;; me nyot with :3 siwence ^.^ uvw-wong! 
Whewe UwU I UwU was UwU wont to >w< feed xDD you with x3 my bwood, 
I'll wop :3 a member x3 off ÚwÚ and UwU give >w< it xDD you 
^w^ In xDD eawnyest of :3 a further benyefit, 
^w^ So xDD you UwU do OwO condescend to OwO hewp ;;w;; me now. 
^w^ [They ^w^ hang uWu theiw heads] 
No UwU hope to uWu have >w< wedwess? OwO My >w< body UwU shaww 
xDD Pay recompense, >_> if xDD you xDD wiww gwant x3 my OwO suit. 
^w^ [They ;;w;; shake uWu theiw heads] 
UwU Cannyot x3 my >w< body nor :3 bwood sacrifice 
>w< Entweat xDD you to x3 youw uWu wonted uWu fuwthewance? 
UwU Then OwO take x3 my soul-my ;;w;; body, x3 souw, ÚwÚ and all, 
^.^ Befowe :3 that England UwU give x3 the OwO Fwench x3 the ÚwÚ foiw. 
^w^ [They depart] 
OwO See! ;;w;; they ^w^ fowsake x3 me. Now x3 the time >_> is come 
:33 That Fwance ^w^ must vaiw her wofty-pwumed uWu cwest 
xDD And wet her >_> head faww x3 into Engwand's :3 wap. 
OwO My UwU ancient incantations OwO awe ^w^ too ÚwÚ weak, 
xDD And heww ^w^ too >w< stwong fow ;;w;; me to buckwe with. 
>_> Nyow, >_< Fwance, >w< thy :3 gwowy >_< dwoopeth to x3 the dust. uWu Exit 

^-^ Excuwsions. Entew OwO Fwench ÚwÚ and Engwish, ;;w;; fighting. 
LA PUCELLE ÚwÚ and YORK >w< fight uWu hand to xDD hand; LA PUCELLE 
>_> is >_< taken. uWu The OwO Fwench fwy 

:3 YOWK. Damsel of >_< Fwance, UwU I think UwU I uWu have xDD you uWu fast. 
>_> Unchain x3 youw ;;w;; spiwits nyow with >_< spewwing ÚwÚ chawms, 
xDD And >_> twy >_> if ;;w;; they ^.^ can ^.^ gain x3 youw OwO wibewty. 
^-^ A xDD goodwy :33 pwize, ;;w;; fit fow x3 the >_> deviw's grace! 
xDD See >w< how x3 the ugwy >w< witch xDD doth >w< bend her ^w^ bwows 
;;w;; As >_< if, with Circe, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd change x3 my >_< shape! 
:33 PUCEWWE. Chang'd to :3 a >_> wowsew xDD shape xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot >w< be. 
:3 YOWK. >_< O, >_> Chawwes x3 the uWu Dauphin >_> is :3 a OwO pwopew ^w^ man: 
No xDD shape >_> but :33 his ^.^ can uWu pwease x3 youw UwU dainty :33 eye. 
:33 PUCEWWE. ^-^ A :33 pwaguing ^-^ mischief >w< fight on >_> Chawwes ÚwÚ and uWu thee! 
xDD And OwO may OwO ye both be ;;w;; suddenwy suwpwis'd 
^-^ By bwoody ^.^ hands, uWu in x3 sweeping on x3 youw ÚwÚ beds! 
:3 YOWK. Feww banning xDD hag; uWu enchantwess, howd >w< thy :33 tongue. 
:33 PUCEWWE. UwU I :33 pwithee UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to UwU cuwse OwO awhiwe. 
:3 YOWK. Curse, miscweant, when xDD thou comest to x3 the >_< stake. 
Exeunt 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew x3 SUFFOWK, with OwO MAWGAWET uWu in :33 his uWu hand 

x3 SUFFOWK. ^w^ Be >_> what xDD thou wiwt, xDD thou awt x3 my ^w^ pwisonyew. 
ÚwÚ [Gazes on :3 hew] 
x3 O >_> faiwest >w< beauty, UwU do nyot feaw nor xDD fwy! 
For UwU I xDD wiww :33 touch uWu thee >_> but with reverent hands; 
UwU I :3 kiss these x3 fingews fow xDD etewnyaw ÚwÚ peace, 
xDD And uWu way them gently on >w< thy xDD tendew ^w^ side. 
Who awt thou? Say, :3 that UwU I OwO may honour thee. 
UwU MAWGAWET. Margaret x3 my :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and daughter to :3 a OwO king, 
uWu The ^w^ King of ;;w;; Nyapwes-whosoe'ew xDD thou art. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ An earl UwU I am, ÚwÚ and :33 Suffowk ^w^ am UwU I call'd. 
^w^ Be nyot ^.^ offended, ;;w;; nyatuwe's miracle, 
^.^ Thou awt awwotted to be >_> ta'en ^.^ by x3 me. 
^w^ So xDD doth x3 the swan her :3 downy ^.^ cygnyets :3 save, 
>_< Keeping them ÚwÚ pwisonyew undewnyeath her xDD wings. 
Yet, >_> if ÚwÚ this ;;w;; sewviwe :3 usage >_> once xDD offend, 
Go ÚwÚ and be fwee again >_< as Suffolk's :3 fwiend. x3 [She >_> is uWu going] 
>_< O, ^-^ stay! :3 [Aside] UwU I uWu have nyo powew to wet her UwU pass; 
OwO My uWu hand ^.^ wouwd fwee hew, >_> but x3 my >_< heawt ;;w;; says >w< nyo. 
;;w;; As plays x3 the sun ;;w;; upon x3 the :3 gwassy streams, 
>w< Twinkwing anyothew :33 countewfeited ÚwÚ beam, 
^w^ So ;;w;; seems ÚwÚ this gowgeous beauty to >_< minye :3 eyes. 
Fain ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^.^ woo hew, yet UwU I dawe nyot >_< speak. 
I'll caww fow OwO pen ÚwÚ and uWu ink, ÚwÚ and >w< wwite x3 my :33 mind. 
OwO Fie, UwU de UwU wa Pole! >_< disabwe nyot xDD thysewf; 
Hast nyot :3 a ^.^ tongue? Is ^.^ she nyot OwO hewe >w< thy prisoner? 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou be >w< daunted uWu at :3 a xDD woman's sight? 
Ay, beauty's princely ^.^ majesty >_> is xDD such 
uWu Confounds x3 the >_> tongue ÚwÚ and x3 makes x3 the :33 senses wough. 
UwU MAWGAWET. Say, ^-^ Eaww of ^.^ Suffowk, >_> if >w< thy xDD nyame be >_> so, 
>_> What wansom ^w^ must UwU I x3 pay >w< befowe UwU I xDD pass? 
For UwU I >_> pewceive UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy ^w^ pwisonyew. 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 [Aside] How ;;w;; canst xDD thou tell ^.^ she xDD wiww UwU deny >w< thy 
^.^ suit, 
^.^ Befowe xDD thou >_< make :3 a uWu twiaw of her love? 
UwU MAWGAWET. Why ;;w;; speak'st xDD thou ^w^ nyot? >_> What wansom ^w^ must UwU I 
OwO pay? 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 [Aside] >_> She's ^-^ beautifuw, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe to be OwO woo'd; 
:33 She >_> is :3 a ^w^ woman, >_< thewefowe to be uWu won. 
UwU MAWGAWET. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou xDD accept of >_< wansom-yea ow no? 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 [Aside] ^w^ Fond ^w^ man, remember :3 that xDD thou x3 hast :3 a 
:33 wife; 
UwU Then >w< how ^.^ can Margaret be >w< thy >w< pawamouw? 
UwU MAWGAWET. UwU I :3 wewe best OwO weave :3 him, fow ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot heaw. 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 [Aside] >_> Thewe aww >_> is marr'd; there wies :3 a coowing 
card. 
UwU MAWGAWET. >w< He talks uWu at random; x3 suwe, x3 the x3 man >_> is >_> mad. 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 [Aside] xDD And yet :3 a >w< dispensation OwO may be xDD had. 
UwU MAWGAWET. xDD And yet UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 that xDD you ^.^ wouwd answew x3 me. 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 [Aside] I'll x3 win ÚwÚ this xDD Wady Margaret. For >w< whom? 
Why, fow x3 my King! Tush, ^w^ that's :3 a ÚwÚ wooden x3 thing! 
UwU MAWGAWET. >w< He talks of wood. ^.^ It >_> is x3 some carpenter. 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 [Aside] ÚwÚ Yet UwU so x3 my ^w^ fancy OwO may be satisfied, 
xDD And uWu peace ÚwÚ estabwished ^-^ between these realms. 
OwO But there remains :3 a :33 scwupwe uWu in :3 that :3 too; 
For ^w^ though her >w< fathew be x3 the ^w^ King of Naples, 
>w< Duke of Anjou ÚwÚ and ^-^ Mainye, yet >_> is ^.^ he OwO poow, 
xDD And UwU ouw >_> nyobiwity xDD wiww ^w^ scown x3 the match. 
UwU MAWGAWET. >w< Heaw :3 ye, ^-^ Captain-awe xDD you nyot uWu at x3 weisuwe? 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 [Aside] ^.^ It UwU shaww be >_> so, ^-^ disdain ;;w;; they ^w^ nye'ew UwU so :33 much. 
Henwy >_> is youthfuw, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww quickly >_< yiewd. 
uWu Madam, UwU I uWu have :3 a secret to OwO weveaw. 
UwU MAWGAWET. :3 [Aside] >_> What ^w^ though UwU I be enthrall'd? >w< He ;;w;; seems 
:3 a UwU knyight, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot xDD any uWu way x3 dishonyouw x3 me. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Lady, x3 vouchsafe to xDD wisten >_> what UwU I :3 say. 
UwU MAWGAWET. :3 [Aside] :3 Pewhaps UwU I UwU shaww be >_> wescu'd ^.^ by x3 the Fwench; 
xDD And xDD then UwU I >_< nyeed nyot ^w^ cwave :33 his uWu couwtesy. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ÚwÚ Sweet UwU madam, UwU give ;;w;; me hearing uWu in :3 a cause 
UwU MAWGAWET. :3 [Aside] >w< Tush! x3 women uWu have :33 been xDD captivate ere 
now. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Lady, ^-^ whewefowe tawk xDD you so? 
UwU MAWGAWET. UwU I cwy xDD you mercy, UwU 'tis >_> but >w< quid fow ^-^ quo. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Say, ^-^ gentwe xDD Pwincess, ^.^ wouwd xDD you nyot ^.^ suppose 
uWu Youw :3 bondage UwU happy, to be UwU made :3 a xDD queen? 
UwU MAWGAWET. ;;w;; To be :3 a >_< queen uWu in :3 bondage >_> is ^.^ mowe ^-^ viwe 
Than >_> is :3 a ;;w;; swave uWu in UwU base sewviwity; 
For pwinces >_> shouwd be >w< fwee. 
x3 SUFFOWK. xDD And UwU so UwU shaww UwU you, 
;;w;; If ^w^ happy Engwand's royal x3 king be >w< fwee. 
UwU MAWGAWET. Why, >_> what uWu concewns :33 his OwO fweedom >w< unto me? 
x3 SUFFOWK. I'll undewtake to >_< make uWu thee >_> Henwy's queen, 
;;w;; To put :3 a golden sceptre uWu in >w< thy uWu hand 
xDD And uWu set :3 a >_< pwecious >_< cwown ;;w;; upon >w< thy head, 
;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt OwO condescend to be uWu my- 
UwU MAWGAWET. What? 
x3 SUFFOWK. ÚwÚ His love. 
UwU MAWGAWET. UwU I ^w^ am >_< unwowthy to be >_> Henwy's x3 wife. 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 Nyo, ^-^ gentwe x3 madam; UwU I >_< unwowthy ^w^ am 
;;w;; To ^.^ woo UwU so >w< faiw :3 a :3 dame to be :33 his >w< wife 
xDD And uWu have nyo portion uWu in x3 the UwU choice :3 mysewf. 
How >_> say UwU you, :33 madam? ^w^ Awe OwO ye UwU so :33 content? 
UwU MAWGAWET. ^-^ An >_> if x3 my >w< fathew please, UwU I ^w^ am OwO content. 
x3 SUFFOWK. UwU Then caww UwU ouw ^.^ captains ÚwÚ and UwU ouw cowouws OwO fowth! 
^.^ And, UwU madam, uWu at x3 youw father's ^w^ castwe OwO wawws 
^-^ We'ww ^w^ cwave :3 a parley to confew with ^.^ him. 

Sound :3 a >_< pawwey. Entew REIGNIER on x3 the OwO wawws 

:3 See, Weignyiew, see, >w< thy daughter prisoner! 
REIGNIER. ;;w;; To >w< whom? 
x3 SUFFOWK. ;;w;; To x3 me. 
REIGNIER. ^.^ Suffowk, >_> what remedy? 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a soldier ÚwÚ and ^-^ unyapt to xDD weep 
:33 Ow to excwaim on ;;w;; fowtunye's ^w^ fickwenyess. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Yes, there >_> is wemedy UwU enyough, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ Consent, ÚwÚ and fow >w< thy honour UwU give ^.^ consent, 
x3 Thy daughter UwU shaww be >w< wedded to x3 my OwO king, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I with :33 pain uWu have woo'd ÚwÚ and ^.^ won thereto; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this her easy-held imprisonment 
>_< Hath x3 gain'd >w< thy daughter princely OwO wibewty. 
REIGNIER. :33 Speaks :33 Suffowk >_< as ^.^ he OwO thinks? 
x3 SUFFOWK. Faiw Margaret xDD knyows 
:33 That :33 Suffowk xDD doth nyot fwattew, >w< face, ow :3 feign. 
REIGNIER. >_> Upon >w< thy princely :33 wawwant UwU I descend 
;;w;; To UwU give uWu thee answew of >w< thy >w< just >_> demand. 
uWu Exit REIGNIER from x3 the OwO wawws 
x3 SUFFOWK. xDD And OwO hewe UwU I xDD wiww >_< expect >w< thy :3 coming. 

Twumpets UwU sound. Entew REIGNIER bewow 

REIGNIER. Welcome, >_< bwave Eaww, x3 into UwU ouw tewwitowies; 
xDD Command uWu in Anjou >_> what x3 youw xDD Honyouw pleases. 
x3 SUFFOWK. >_< Thanks, Weignyiew, ^w^ happy fow UwU so x3 sweet :3 a child, 
Fit to be UwU made >_< companyion with :3 a king. 
>_> What answew x3 makes x3 youw Gwace >w< unto x3 my suit? 
REIGNIER. Since xDD thou dost >_< deign to ^.^ woo her xDD wittwe ^.^ wowth 
;;w;; To be x3 the princely bride of xDD such :3 a uWu wowd, 
>_> Upon condition UwU I OwO may ÚwÚ quietwy 
^w^ Enjoy >_< minye OwO own, x3 the countwy ^w^ Mainye ÚwÚ and Anjou, 
Fwee from oppwession ow x3 the ^w^ stwoke of waw, 
OwO My daughter UwU shaww be Henry's, >_> if ^.^ he ÚwÚ pwease. 
x3 SUFFOWK. :33 That >_> is her OwO wansom; UwU I ÚwÚ dewivew her. 
xDD And UwU those >w< two counties UwU I xDD wiww undewtake 
uWu Youw Gwace UwU shaww weww ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ quietwy OwO enjoy. 
REIGNIER. xDD And UwU I OwO again, uWu in >_> Henwy's royal :33 nyame, 
;;w;; As OwO deputy >w< unto :3 that >_> gwacious OwO king, 
Give uWu thee her uWu hand fow xDD sign of plighted ÚwÚ faith. 
x3 SUFFOWK. UwU Weignyiew of >_< Fwance, UwU I UwU give uWu thee >_> kingwy thanks, 
>_< Because ÚwÚ this >_> is uWu in UwU twaffic of :3 a king. 
:3 [Aside] xDD And ^w^ yet, UwU methinks, UwU I couwd be weww :3 content 
;;w;; To be >_< minye UwU own ^.^ attownyey uWu in ÚwÚ this :3 case. 
I'll uvw xDD then to England with ÚwÚ this news, 
xDD And >_< make ÚwÚ this ^.^ mawwiage to be x3 sowemnyiz'd. 
So, farewell, Weignyiew. Set ÚwÚ this >_> diamond >_< safe 
^w^ In golden pawaces, >_< as >w< it >_< becomes. 
REIGNIER. UwU I UwU do >_< embwace uWu thee >_< as UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< embwace 
uWu The Christian >_< pwince, ^w^ King Henry, :3 wewe ^.^ he hewe. 
UwU MAWGAWET. UwU Faweweww, x3 my OwO wowd. ^-^ Good wishes, >_< pwaise, ÚwÚ and 
pwayews, 
Shall :33 Suffowk OwO evew uWu have of Margaret. x3 [She >_> is uWu going] 
x3 SUFFOWK. UwU Faweweww, x3 sweet UwU madam. OwO But x3 hawk UwU you, Margaret 
No princely commendations to x3 my UwU king? 
UwU MAWGAWET. >w< Such commendations >_< as x3 becomes :3 a ;;w;; maid, 
^-^ A xDD viwgin, ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu sewvant, >_> say to ^.^ him. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Words sweetly pwac'd ÚwÚ and modestwy ;;w;; diwected. 
But, UwU madam, UwU I ^w^ must >_> twoubwe xDD you again 
No >w< woving ;;w;; token to :33 his ÚwÚ Majesty? 
UwU MAWGAWET. Yes, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd: :3 a puwe x3 unspotted uWu heawt, 
xDD Nyevew yet ^w^ taint with xDD wuv, UwU I >_> send x3 the ;;w;; King. 
x3 SUFFOWK. xDD And ÚwÚ this uWu withaw. ^.^ [Kisses :3 hew] 
UwU MAWGAWET. :33 That fow ;;w;; thysewf, UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU so presume 
;;w;; To >_> send xDD such >_> peevish UwU tokens to :3 a king. 
Exeunt REIGNIER ÚwÚ and OwO MAWGAWET 
x3 SUFFOWK. >_< O, OwO wewt xDD thou fow mysewf! But, ^.^ Suffowk, >_< stay; 
^.^ Thou uWu mayst nyot >w< wandew uWu in :3 that >w< wabywinth: 
>_> Thewe Minotaurs ÚwÚ and ugwy :3 tweasons >_> wuwk. 
x3 Sowicit Henwy with her wondwous ;;w;; pwaise. 
^w^ Bethink uWu thee on her uWu viwtues :3 that surmount, 
xDD And natural uWu gwaces :3 that :3 extinguish awt; 
Wepeat uWu theiw ÚwÚ sembwance often on x3 the seas, 
^.^ That, when xDD thou UwU com'st to ^w^ knyeew uWu at >_> Henwy's ^.^ feet, 
^.^ Thou uWu mayst ;;w;; beweave ^.^ him of :33 his :33 wits with :3 wondew. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

Camp of x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK uWu in Anjou 

Entew YORK, ^w^ WAWWICK, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 
:3 YOWK. Bring fowth :3 that UwU sowcewess, condemn'd to :3 buwn. 

Entew LA ^w^ PUCEWWE, >w< guawded, ÚwÚ and :3 a ^.^ SHEPHEWD 

UwU SHEPHEWD. xDD Ah, Joan, ÚwÚ this :33 kiwws >w< thy father's >_< heawt x3 outwight! 
:3 Have UwU I >_< sought every countwy uWu faw ÚwÚ and near, 
^.^ And, nyow >w< it >_> is x3 my chance to find uWu thee ^.^ out, 
:3 Must UwU I behowd >w< thy timewess UwU cwuew UwU death? 
xDD Ah, Joan, x3 sweet daughter Joan, I'll ^-^ die with uWu thee! 
:33 PUCEWWE. Decrepit miser! UwU base ignoble OwO wwetch! 
UwU I ^w^ am >_> descended of :3 a gentler ^-^ bwood; 
^.^ Thou awt nyo >w< fathew nor nyo :33 fwiend of ^w^ minye. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Out, out! OwO My wowds, >w< an uWu pwease UwU you, UwU 'tis nyot so; 
UwU I uWu did x3 beget hew, aww x3 the x3 pawish knyows. 
:3 Hew mothew ^.^ wiveth ^w^ yet, ^.^ can >w< testify 
:33 She UwU was x3 the xDD fiwst ^w^ fwuit of x3 my bach'lorship. 
WARWICK. Graceless, wiwt xDD thou UwU deny >w< thy pawentage? 
:3 YOWK. This ÚwÚ awgues >_> what her uWu kind of >w< wife hath ÚwÚ been- 
^w^ Wicked ÚwÚ and viwe; ÚwÚ and UwU so her :33 death concludes. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. OwO Fie, Joan, :3 that xDD thou wiwt be UwU so >_< obstacwe! 
^w^ God xDD knyows xDD thou awt :3 a UwU cowwop of x3 my flesh; 
xDD And fow >w< thy ÚwÚ sake uWu have UwU I x3 shed UwU many :3 a >_> teaw. 
>w< Deny ;;w;; me >_> nyot, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ Joan. 
:33 PUCEWWE. Peasant, avaunt! >_> You uWu have >_< subown'd ÚwÚ this x3 man 
Of OwO puwpose to uWu obscuwe x3 my x3 nyobwe xDD biwth. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. 'Tis ^-^ twue, UwU I uWu gave :3 a x3 nyobwe to x3 the priest 
uWu The ;;w;; mown :3 that UwU I UwU was >w< wedded to her x3 mothew. 
>_> Knyeew down ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 my blessing, ÚwÚ good x3 my ^w^ giww. 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou nyot stoop? Now uWu cuwsed be x3 the time 
Of >w< thy nyativity. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 the milk 
x3 Thy mothew uWu gave uWu thee when xDD thou OwO suck'dst her breast 
xDD Had :33 been :3 a xDD wittwe ^.^ watsbanye fow >w< thy sake. 
:33 Ow else, when xDD thou :33 didst >_< keep x3 my lambs xDD afiewd, 
UwU I ÚwÚ wish x3 some ^-^ wavenyous OwO wowf xDD had eaten thee. 
uWu Dost xDD thou UwU deny >w< thy ÚwÚ fathew, uWu cuwsed ^-^ dwab? 
>_< O, buwn hew, buwn >_> hew! x3 Hanging >_> is ^w^ too UwU good. uWu Exit 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ Take her :3 away; fow ^.^ she hath liv'd ^w^ too long, 
;;w;; To ^w^ fiww x3 the wowwd with ^.^ vicious qualities. 
:33 PUCEWWE. First wet ;;w;; me tell xDD you ÚwÚ whom xDD you uWu have x3 condemn'd: 
ÚwÚ Nyot ;;w;; me uWu begotten of :3 a xDD shephewd x3 swain, 
OwO But :33 issued from x3 the ^-^ pwogeny of >w< kings; 
Viwtuous ÚwÚ and ;;w;; howy, OwO chosen from :33 abuv 
^-^ By UwU inspiwation of ^w^ cewestiaw gwace, 
;;w;; To ^.^ wowk :33 exceeding miracles on ;;w;; eawth. 
UwU I >_< nyevew xDD had to UwU do with wicked spiwits. 
OwO But UwU you, :3 that OwO awe polluted with x3 youw x3 wusts, 
Stain'd with x3 the ;;w;; guiwtwess :3 bwood of >w< innyocents, 
Corrupt ÚwÚ and xDD tainted with :3 a thousand UwU vices, 
>_< Because xDD you ^.^ want x3 the xDD gwace :3 that ;;w;; othews have, 
>_> You OwO judge >w< it ^w^ stwaight :3 a ^.^ thing xDD impossibwe 
;;w;; To compass wondews >_> but ^.^ by OwO hewp of OwO deviws. 
:3 Nyo, misconceived! UwU Joan of xDD Awc hath :33 been 
^-^ A ;;w;; viwgin from her xDD tendew infancy, 
^.^ Chaste ÚwÚ and UwU immacuwate uWu in xDD vewy thought; 
>_< Whose >_< maiden bwood, OwO thus wigowouswy ^-^ effus'd, 
Will cwy fow UwU vengeance uWu at x3 the :3 gates of UwU heaven. 
:3 YOWK. Ay, ^w^ ay. UwU Away with her to :33 execution! 
WARWICK. xDD And x3 hawk :3 ye, ^-^ siws; uWu because ^.^ she >_> is :3 a ;;w;; maid, 
^w^ Spawe fow nyo >_< fagots, wet there be enyow. 
:3 Pwace UwU bawwews of ^w^ pitch ;;w;; upon x3 the uWu fataw >w< stake, 
:33 That UwU so her towtuwe OwO may be shortened. 
:33 PUCEWWE. Will >_< nyothing turn x3 youw unrelenting hearts? 
Then, Joan, OwO discuvw ^.^ thinye infirmity 
:33 That warranteth ^.^ by law to be >w< thy privilege: 
UwU I ^w^ am with child, OwO ye bwoody UwU homicides; 
>_> Muwdew nyot xDD then x3 the ^w^ fwuit within x3 my womb, 
Awthough OwO ye UwU hawe ;;w;; me to :3 a :3 viowent death. 
:3 YOWK. Now heaven forfend! uWu The >w< howy >_< maid with >_> chiwd! 
WARWICK. uWu The ÚwÚ gweatest :33 miwacwe :3 that ;;w;; e'ew OwO ye wwought: 
Is aww x3 youw :3 stwict preciseness come to :3 this? 
:3 YOWK. :33 She ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu Dauphin uWu have :33 been ;;w;; juggwing. 
UwU I uWu did imagine >_> what ^.^ wouwd be her refuge. 
WARWICK. xDD Weww, OwO go >w< to; we'll uWu have nyo >_< bastawds ÚwÚ wive; 
>w< Especiawwy xDD since >_> Chawwes ^w^ must >w< fathew :3 it. 
:33 PUCEWWE. >_> You OwO awe :3 deceiv'd; x3 my chiwd >_> is >_< nyonye of >_> his: 
^.^ It UwU was OwO Awencon :3 that x3 enjoy'd x3 my love. 
:3 YOWK. Awencon, :3 that :3 nyotowious >_> Machiavew! 
^.^ It dies, >w< an >_> if >w< it xDD had :3 a thousand ^.^ wives. 
:33 PUCEWWE. >_< O, UwU give ;;w;; me weave, UwU I uWu have dewuded OwO you. 
>_< 'Twas :3 nyeithew >_> Chawwes nor yet x3 the >w< Duke UwU I ^-^ nyam'd, 
OwO But Weignyiew, ^w^ King of Naples, :3 that pwevaiw'd. 
WARWICK. ^-^ A mawwied ;;w;; man! >w< That's UwU most intolerable. 
:3 YOWK. Why, hewe's :3 a ÚwÚ giww! UwU I think ^.^ she xDD knyows nyot weww 
>_> Thewe :3 wewe UwU so >_> many-whom ^.^ she OwO may ;;w;; accuse. 
WARWICK. x3 It's xDD sign ^.^ she hath :33 been xDD wibewaw ÚwÚ and >w< fwee. 
:3 YOWK. xDD And ^w^ yet, xDD fowsooth, ^.^ she >_> is :3 a ;;w;; viwgin pure. 
^w^ Stwumpet, >w< thy wowds >_< condemn >w< thy :3 bwat ÚwÚ and thee. 
^w^ Use nyo ;;w;; entweaty, fow >w< it >_> is uWu in OwO vain. 
:33 PUCEWWE. UwU Then lead ;;w;; me >_> hence-with ÚwÚ whom UwU I OwO weave x3 my 
:3 cuwse: 
^-^ May >_< nyevew glorious sun OwO wefwex :33 his beams 
>_> Upon x3 the countwy :3 whewe xDD you >_< make abode; 
OwO But >w< dawknyess ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ gwoomy shade of :33 death 
Environ UwU you, >w< tiww ^-^ mischief ÚwÚ and despair 
Drive xDD you to bweak x3 youw xDD nyecks ow ^w^ hang OwO youwsewves! 
UwU Exit, guawded 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ Bweak xDD thou uWu in uWu pieces ÚwÚ and ^-^ consume to :3 ashes, 
^.^ Thou fouw ^w^ accuwsed xDD minyistew of >_< heww! 

Entew x3 CAWDINyAW x3 BEAUFOWT, ^w^ attended 

CARDINAL. Lord Regent, UwU I UwU do x3 gweet x3 youw ^.^ Excewwence 
With x3 wettews of OwO commission from x3 the ;;w;; King. 
For knyow, x3 my wowds, x3 the UwU states of Christendom, 
^w^ Mov'd with ^-^ wemowse of these :3 outwageous bwoiws, 
:3 Have eawnyestwy ^w^ impwow'd :3 a general uWu peace 
Betwixt UwU ouw nation ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; aspiwing Fwench; 
xDD And OwO hewe uWu at uWu hand x3 the uWu Dauphin ÚwÚ and :33 his twain 
uWu Appwoacheth, to confew about x3 some :3 mattew. 
:3 YOWK. Is aww UwU ouw :3 twavaiw >_> tuwn'd to ÚwÚ this ^.^ effect? 
>w< Aftew x3 the >_> swaughtew of UwU so UwU many ^-^ peews, 
^w^ So UwU many ^w^ captains, xDD gentwemen, ÚwÚ and xDD sowdiews, 
:33 That uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ quawwew uWu have :33 been overthrown 
xDD And sold uWu theiw >_< bodies fow uWu theiw >_> countwy's benyefit, 
Shall ^.^ we uWu at >w< wast OwO concwude effeminyate peace? 
:3 Have ^.^ we nyot wost UwU most ÚwÚ pawt of aww x3 the x3 towns, 
^-^ By uWu tweason, fawsehood, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :33 tweachewy, 
Our great ^w^ pwogenyitows xDD had ÚwÚ conquewed? 
x3 O Wawwick, x3 Wawwick! UwU I x3 fowesee with grief 
uWu The :33 uttew ^-^ woss of aww x3 the weawm of Fwance. 
WARWICK. ^w^ Be *giggles shyly* patient, x3 Yowk. ;;w;; If ^.^ we OwO concwude :3 a ÚwÚ peace, 
^.^ It UwU shaww be with xDD such :3 stwict ÚwÚ and severe covenants 
;;w;; As xDD wittwe UwU shaww x3 the Fwenchmen ^.^ gain ^-^ theweby. 

Entew CHAWWES, ÚwÚ AWENCON, :33 BASTAWD, REIGNIER, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

x3 CHAWWES. ÚwÚ Since, wowds of England, >w< it >_> is OwO thus >_< agweed 
:33 That UwU peacefuw truce UwU shaww be proclaim'd uWu in >_< Fwance, 
We come to be infowmed ^.^ by youwsewves 
>_> What x3 the :33 conditions of :3 that :33 weague ^w^ must >w< be. 
:3 YOWK. ÚwÚ Speak, ;;w;; Winchestew; fow boiling ^.^ chowew ^w^ chokes 
uWu The OwO howwow uWu passage of x3 my OwO poison'd voice, 
^-^ By ^.^ sight of these UwU ouw xDD bawefuw enemies. 
CARDINAL. Chawwes, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ west, >w< it >_> is enacted thus: 
^.^ That, uWu in regard ^w^ King Henwy ;;w;; gives ^.^ consent, 
Of mere >w< compassion ÚwÚ and of uWu wenyity, 
;;w;; To ^w^ ease x3 youw countwy of distressful waw, 
^-^ An suffew xDD you to ;;w;; bweathe uWu in :33 fwuitfuw ÚwÚ peace, 
>_> You UwU shaww :33 become true ^-^ wiegemen to :33 his >_< cwown; 
^.^ And, Chawwes, ;;w;; upon condition xDD thou wiwt >_< sweaw 
;;w;; To x3 pay ^.^ him UwU twibute ÚwÚ and :3 submit ;;w;; thysewf, 
^.^ Thou shalt be pwac'd >_< as >_> vicewoy :33 undew :3 him, 
xDD And still ^.^ enjoy >w< thy xDD wegaw UwU dignyity. 
ALENCON. :3 Must ^.^ he be xDD then >_< as :3 shadow of :33 himsewf? 
Adorn :33 his ^.^ tempwes with :3 a >_< cowonyet 
xDD And ^w^ yet, uWu in ÚwÚ substance ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ authowity, 
Wetain >_> but OwO pwiviwege of :3 a >_> pwivate man? 
This x3 pwoffew >_> is :3 absuwd ÚwÚ and xDD weasonwess. 
x3 CHAWWES. 'Tis ÚwÚ knyown xDD awweady :3 that UwU I ^w^ am >_< possess'd 
With ^.^ mowe than half x3 the Gawwian ^-^ tewwitowies, 
xDD And thewein ^-^ wevewenc'd fow uWu theiw ÚwÚ wawfuw king. 
Shall I, fow lucre of x3 the xDD west x3 unvanquish'd, 
Detract UwU so much from :3 that prerogative 
;;w;; As to be ^w^ caww'd >_> but >_> vicewoy of x3 the whole? 
:3 Nyo, Lord Ambassador; I'll rather >_< keep 
:33 That which UwU I uWu have than, coveting fow >_> mowe, 
^w^ Be ;;w;; cast from possibility of all. 
:3 YOWK. Insulting Charles! Hast xDD thou ^.^ by secret means 
xDD Us'd >_< intewcession to UwU obtain :3 a OwO weague, 
xDD And nyow x3 the ;;w;; mattew gwows to compwomise 
ÚwÚ Stand'st xDD thou >_< awoof ;;w;; upon comparison? 
^-^ Eithew xDD accept x3 the ;;w;; titwe xDD thou x3 usuwp'st, 
Of ^-^ benyefit proceeding from UwU ouw x3 king 
xDD And nyot of xDD any challenge of :3 desewt, 
:33 Ow ^.^ we xDD wiww pwague uWu thee with ^w^ incessant waws. 
REIGNIER. :33 [To CHARLES] OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you UwU do nyot weww uWu in 
obstinacy 
;;w;; To OwO caviw uWu in x3 the course of ÚwÚ this contract. 
;;w;; If >_> once >w< it be OwO nyegwected, ;;w;; ten to one 
We UwU shaww nyot find ^.^ wike oppowtunyity. 
ALENCON. :33 [To CHARLES] ;;w;; To >_> say x3 the truth, >w< it >_> is x3 youw UwU powicy 
;;w;; To :3 save x3 youw subjects from xDD such massacwe 
xDD And ;;w;; wuthwess slaughters >_< as OwO awe x3 daiwy :3 seen 
^-^ By UwU ouw proceeding uWu in xDD hostiwity; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe OwO take ÚwÚ this compact of :3 a truce, 
Awthough xDD you bweak >w< it when x3 youw :3 pweasuwe sewves. 
WARWICK. How say'st UwU thou, ^w^ Chawwes? Shall UwU ouw condition 
stand? 
x3 CHAWWES. ^.^ It :3 shaww; 
Onwy ÚwÚ wesewv'd, xDD you >_< cwaim nyo ÚwÚ intewest 
^w^ In xDD any of UwU ouw UwU towns of garrison. 
:3 YOWK. UwU Then >_< sweaw OwO awwegiance to :33 his ^.^ Majesty: 
;;w;; As xDD thou awt UwU knyight, >_< nyevew to :33 disobey 
x3 Nyow be webewwious to x3 the >_< cwown of England 
Thou, nor >w< thy ^.^ nyobwes, to x3 the >_< cwown of ^w^ Engwand. 
[CHARLES ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west UwU give UwU tokens of uWu feawty] 
So, nyow dismiss x3 youw ^.^ awmy when OwO ye pwease; 
Hang x3 up x3 youw ensigns, wet x3 youw xDD dwums be still, 
For OwO hewe ^.^ we entertain :3 a solemn peace. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE 5. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 SUFFOWK, uWu in conference with x3 the ;;w;; KING, 
GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and >_> EXETEW 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu Youw wondwous OwO wawe ^w^ descwiption, x3 nyobwe Eaww, 
Of beauteous Margaret hath uWu astonyish'd x3 me. 
:3 Hew viwtues, graced with ÚwÚ extewnyaw ;;w;; gifts, 
Do breed love's ^-^ settwed passions uWu in x3 my heawt; 
xDD And ^.^ wike >_< as uWu wigouw of xDD tempestuous xDD gusts 
UwU Pwovokes x3 the mightiest uWu huwk OwO against x3 the OwO tide, 
^w^ So ^w^ am UwU I driven ^.^ by UwU bweath of her renown 
^-^ Eithew to suffew :33 shipwweck ow UwU awwive 
Whewe UwU I OwO may uWu have :3 fwuition of her love. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Tush, x3 my ÚwÚ good ^.^ wowd! This superficial xDD tawe 
Is >_> but :3 a pweface of her ÚwÚ wowthy ;;w;; pwaise. 
uWu The uWu chief >w< pewfections of :3 that lovely uWu dame, 
xDD Had UwU I sufficient :3 skiww to :33 uttew ÚwÚ them, 
Wouwd >_< make :3 a >_< vowume of enticing lines, 
>w< Abwe to ravish xDD any dull :33 conceit; 
^.^ And, which >_> is >_> mowe, ^.^ she >_> is nyot UwU so divine, 
^w^ So full-replete with UwU choice of aww dewights, 
OwO But with >_< as humble x3 wowwinyess of ^-^ mind 
:33 She >_> is :3 content to be uWu at x3 youw ÚwÚ command 
:3 Command, UwU I mean, of virtuous >w< intents, 
;;w;; To wuv ÚwÚ and honour Henwy >_< as her OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD And ^-^ othewwise xDD wiww Henwy ^w^ nye'ew >_< pwesume. 
>_< Thewefowe, x3 my Lord ;;w;; Pwotectow, UwU give >_< consent 
:33 That Margaret OwO may be Engwand's royal ÚwÚ Queen. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ So >_> shouwd UwU I UwU give >_< consent to flatter >_< sin. 
>_> You knyow, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 youw >_> Highnyess >_> is ^w^ betwoth'd 
uWu Unto anyothew uWu wady of esteem. 
How UwU shaww ^.^ we xDD then ^w^ dispense with :3 that contract, 
xDD And nyot x3 deface x3 youw honour with reproach? 
x3 SUFFOWK. ;;w;; As xDD doth :3 a ruler with unwawfuw :3 oaths; 
:33 Ow one :3 that uWu at :3 a :3 twiumph, xDD having ^.^ vow'd 
;;w;; To >_> twy :33 his >_< stwength, fowsaketh yet x3 the ^.^ wists 
^-^ By reason of :33 his UwU advewsawy's ^w^ odds: 
^-^ A poor :33 eaww's daughter >_> is unequal xDD odds, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe OwO may be broke ^-^ without OwO offence. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Why, x3 what, UwU I pray, >_> is Margaret ^.^ mowe than 
^-^ that? 
:3 Hew >w< fathew >_> is nyo xDD bettew than >w< an earl, 
Awthough uWu in glorious titles ^.^ he ^-^ excew. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Yes, x3 my uWu wowd, her >w< fathew >_> is :3 a OwO king, 
uWu The ^w^ King of Nyapwes ÚwÚ and ^.^ Jewusawem; 
xDD And of xDD such great ÚwÚ authowity uWu in Fwance 
;;w;; As :33 his alliance xDD wiww :33 confiwm UwU ouw ÚwÚ peace, 
xDD And >_< keep x3 the Fwenchmen uWu in ^w^ awwegiance. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And UwU so x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Awmagnyac OwO may UwU do, 
>_< Because ^.^ he >_> is nyeaw kinsman >w< unto Chawwes. 
UwU EXETEW. >w< Beside, :33 his weawth xDD doth :33 wawwant :3 a xDD wibewaw dower; 
Whewe UwU Weignyiew :33 soonyew xDD wiww receive than give. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ A xDD dow'w, x3 my lords! >w< Disgwace nyot UwU so x3 youw OwO king, 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> shouwd be UwU so >_< abject, base, ÚwÚ and OwO poow, 
;;w;; To choose fow weawth ÚwÚ and nyot fow :3 pewfect love. 
Henwy >_> is able to enrich :33 his queen, 
xDD And nyot to >_> seek :3 a >_< queen to >_< make ^.^ him ;;w;; wich. 
^w^ So :33 wowthwess uWu peasants ^w^ bawgain fow uWu theiw ^-^ wives, 
;;w;; As market-men fow oxen, ;;w;; sheep, ow horse. 
Mawwiage >_> is :3 a ;;w;; mattew of ^.^ mowe ^.^ wowth 
Than to be ^w^ deawt uWu in ^.^ by OwO attownyeyship; 
ÚwÚ Nyot ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we :33 wiww, >_> but ÚwÚ whom :33 his Gwace :33 affects, 
:3 Must be >_< companyion of :33 his >w< nyuptiaw :3 bed. 
xDD And OwO thewefowe, wowds, xDD since ^.^ he >_< affects her :3 most, 
^.^ It UwU most of aww these weasons bindeth >_> us 
^w^ In UwU ouw OwO opinyions ^.^ she >_> shouwd be preferr'd; 
For >_> what >_> is wedlock xDD fowced >_> but :3 a >_> heww, 
^-^ An age of ^-^ discowd ÚwÚ and continyuaw OwO stwife? 
:33 Wheweas x3 the :33 contwawy bringeth bliss, 
xDD And >_> is :3 a pattewn of ^w^ cewestiaw peace. 
;;w;; Whom >_> shouwd ^.^ we >_< match with Henry, ^.^ being :3 a OwO king, 
OwO But Margaret, :3 that >_> is daughter to :3 a UwU king? 
:3 Hew x3 peewwess featuwe, joined with her birth, 
Appwuvs her ;;w;; fit fow >_< nyonye >_> but fow :3 a uWu king; 
:3 Hew uWu vawiant couwage ÚwÚ and >_> undaunted ^-^ spiwit, 
uWu Mowe than uWu in x3 women uWu commonwy >_> is uWu seen, 
Will answew UwU ouw UwU hope uWu in x3 issue of :3 a uWu king; 
For Henry, >_< son >w< unto :3 a x3 conquewow, 
Is ÚwÚ wikewy to x3 beget ^.^ mowe conquewows, 
;;w;; If with :3 a uWu wady of UwU so xDD high wesowve 
;;w;; As >_> is >w< faiw Margaret ^.^ he be wink'd uWu in love. 
UwU Then :33 yiewd, x3 my :3 wowds; ÚwÚ and OwO hewe OwO concwude with ;;w;; me 
:33 That Margaret UwU shaww be :3 Queen, ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye >_> but ^w^ she. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Whethew >w< it be ^w^ thwough force of x3 youw wepowt, 
OwO My x3 nyobwe Lord of ^.^ Suffowk, ow fow :3 that 
OwO My xDD tendew :33 youth UwU was >_< nyevew yet attaint 
With xDD any passion of >_< infwaming xDD wuv, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell; >_> but ÚwÚ this UwU I ^w^ am UwU assuw'd, 
UwU I x3 feew xDD such ^-^ shawp xDD dissension uWu in x3 my UwU bweast, 
>w< Such >_< fiewce awawums both of UwU hope ÚwÚ and ;;w;; feaw, 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick with >w< wowking of x3 my >w< thoughts. 
^.^ Take >_< thewefowe shipping; ÚwÚ post, x3 my uWu wowd, to Fwance; 
;;w;; Agwee to xDD any :33 cuvnyants; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; pwocuwe 
:33 That xDD Wady Margaret UwU do x3 vouchsafe to come 
;;w;; To OwO cwoss x3 the seas to England, ÚwÚ and be cwown'd 
^w^ King >_> Henwy's faithfuw ÚwÚ and ^-^ anyointed >w< queen. 
For x3 youw ^w^ expenses ÚwÚ and sufficient charge, 
>_> Among x3 the OwO peopwe gathew x3 up :3 a >w< tenth. 
^w^ Be >w< gonye, UwU I say; fow >w< tiww xDD you UwU do ^-^ wetuwn 
UwU I xDD west perplexed with :3 a thousand cares. 
xDD And UwU you, ÚwÚ good uWu uncwe, banyish aww OwO offence: 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do UwU censuwe ;;w;; me ^.^ by >_> what xDD you uWu wewe, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_> what xDD you awe, UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it xDD wiww UwU excuse 
This ^.^ sudden :33 execution of x3 my :33 wiww. 
xDD And UwU so ÚwÚ conduct ;;w;; me where, from xDD company, 
UwU I OwO may uWu wevowve ÚwÚ and >_< wuminyate x3 my ÚwÚ gwief. uWu Exit 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Ay, gwief, UwU I feaw uWu me, both uWu at xDD fiwst ÚwÚ and last. 
Exeunt GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and >_> EXETEW 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ Thus :33 Suffowk hath ^-^ pwevaiw'd; ÚwÚ and OwO thus ^.^ he :33 goes, 
;;w;; As uWu did x3 the youthfuw Paris >_> once to xDD Gweece, 
With UwU hope to find x3 the ^.^ wike event uWu in wuv 
OwO But prosper xDD bettew than x3 the ÚwÚ Twoyan ^.^ did. 
Margaret UwU shaww nyow be :3 Queen, ÚwÚ and UwU wuwe x3 the uWu King; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww UwU wuwe both hew, x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and weawm. uWu Exit 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





uWu 1591 

^-^ THE ^w^ SECOND OwO PAWT ÚwÚ OF ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE UwU SIXTH 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE UwU SIXTH 
HUMPHREY, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, :33 his :33 uncwe 
x3 CAWDINyAW x3 BEAUFOWT, xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF OwO WINCHESTEW, uWu gweat-uncwe to x3 the ^w^ King 
UwU WICHAWD :33 PWANTAGENyET, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK 
>w< EDWAWD ÚwÚ and WICHAWD, :33 his xDD sons 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF SOMERSET 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF :3 SUFFOWK 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF BUCKINGHAM 
>w< WOWD CWIFFOWD 
:3 YOUNG ^-^ CWIFFOWD, :33 his >_< son 
EARL ÚwÚ OF SALISBURY 
EARL ÚwÚ OF ^w^ WAWWICK 
>w< WOWD SCALES 
>w< WOWD SAY 
ÚwÚ SIW HUMPHREY ^w^ STAFFOWD 
UwU WIWWIAM ^w^ STAFFOWD, :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN STANLEY 
:33 VAUX 
^.^ MATTHEW GOFFE 
^-^ A WIEUTENyANT, :3 a ^w^ SHIPMASTEW, :3 a xDD MASTEW'S UwU MATE, ÚwÚ and WALTER >_< WHITMOWE 
OwO TWO UwU GENTWEMEN, OwO pwisonyews with :33 Suffowk 
>_< JOHN :33 HUME ÚwÚ and >_< JOHN SOUTHWEWW, >w< two priests 
^.^ WOGEW BOLINGBROKE, :3 a >_> conjuwew 
^-^ A SPIWIT ^w^ waised ^.^ by ^.^ him 
THOMAS uWu HOWNyEW, >w< an UwU awmouwew 
>w< PETEW, :33 his x3 man 
CLERK ÚwÚ OF xDD CHATHAM 
>_< MAYOW ÚwÚ OF SAINT ;;w;; AWBANS 
SAUNDER ;;w;; SIMPCOX, >w< an impostor 
ALEXANDER IDEN, :3 a Kentish ÚwÚ gentweman 
JACK CADE, :3 a rebel 
uWu GEOWGE ^w^ BEVIS, >_< JOHN HOWWAND, xDD DICK ^-^ THE BUTCHEW, UwU SMITH ^-^ THE WEAVEW, 
:3 MICHAEW, UwU &c., ÚwÚ fowwowews of x3 Cade 
OwO TWO :33 MUWDEWEWS 

>_> MAWGAWET, xDD Queen to ^w^ King Henwy 
^w^ EWEANyOW, :3 Duchess of uWu Gwoucestew 
OwO MAWGEWY xDD JOUWDAIN, :3 a >w< witch 
uWu WIFE to >_< SIMPCOX 

;;w;; Wowds, Ladies, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants; Petitioners, UwU Awdewmen, :3 a Herald, 
:3 a Beadwe, :3 a ÚwÚ Shewiff, ^-^ Officews, uWu Citizens, Pwentices, Fawconyews, 
^w^ Guawds, Soldiers, Messengews, &c. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
England 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Flourish of >_> twumpets; xDD then hautboys. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ÚwÚ DUKE HUMPHREY 
ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, >_< SAWISBUWY, ^w^ WAWWICK, ÚwÚ and x3 CAWDINyAW x3 BEAUFOWT, on x3 the one x3 side; 
x3 the xDD QUEEN, x3 SUFFOWK, YORK, SOMERSET, ÚwÚ and xDD BUCKINGHAM, on x3 the othew 

x3 SUFFOWK. ;;w;; As ^.^ by x3 youw xDD high ÚwÚ impewiaw ;;w;; Majesty 
UwU I xDD had uWu in :3 chawge uWu at x3 my ÚwÚ depawt fow >_< Fwance, 
;;w;; As pwocuwatow to x3 youw OwO Excewwence, 
;;w;; To marry Pwincess Margaret fow x3 youw Grace; 
So, uWu in x3 the famous UwU ancient UwU city Touws, 
^w^ In x3 pwesence of x3 the >_< Kings of Fwance ÚwÚ and ^w^ Siciw, 
uWu The >_> Dukes of ^.^ Owweans, ^w^ Cawabew, Bretagne, ÚwÚ and Awencon, 
ÚwÚ Seven eawws, >_< twewve :3 bawons, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty reverend >_< bishops, 
UwU I uWu have pewfowm'd x3 my task, ÚwÚ and UwU was >_< espous'd; 
xDD And x3 humbwy nyow ;;w;; upon x3 my bended OwO knyee, 
^w^ In ^.^ sight of England ÚwÚ and her >_> wowdwy ^-^ peews, 
Deliver x3 up x3 my ;;w;; titwe uWu in x3 the xDD Queen 
;;w;; To x3 youw UwU most >_> gwacious ^.^ hands, :3 that OwO awe x3 the ÚwÚ substance 
Of :3 that great :3 shadow UwU I uWu did ^.^ wepwesent: 
uWu The UwU happiest ^w^ gift :3 that OwO evew UwU mawquis :3 gave, 
uWu The >_> faiwest >_< queen :3 that OwO evew x3 king ^.^ weceiv'd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ Suffowk, uWu awise. Welcome, xDD Queen ^.^ Mawgawet: 
UwU I ^.^ can express nyo kinder xDD sign of wuv 
Than ÚwÚ this uWu kind >w< kiss. x3 O Wowd, :3 that wends ;;w;; me :3 wife, 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me :3 a >_< heawt UwU wepwete with thankfuwnyess! 
For xDD thou x3 hast UwU given ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this beauteous OwO face 
^-^ A wowwd of ÚwÚ eawthwy bwessings to x3 my x3 souw, 
;;w;; If >_> sympathy of wuv uWu unyite UwU ouw >w< thoughts. 
QUEEN. UwU Gweat ^w^ King of England, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> gwacious uWu wowd, 
uWu The ^-^ mutuaw conference :3 that x3 my ^-^ mind hath :33 had, 
^-^ By ^-^ day, ^.^ by night, UwU waking ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 my ^-^ dweams, 
^w^ In courtly >_< company ow uWu at x3 my x3 beads, 
With UwU you, >_< minye alder-liefest sovereign, 
:3 Makes ;;w;; me x3 the ^.^ bowdew to OwO sawute x3 my x3 king 
With ruder ^w^ tewms, xDD such >_< as x3 my wit affowds 
xDD And uWu uvw-joy of >_< heawt xDD doth minister. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Hew ^.^ sight uWu did ÚwÚ wavish, >_> but her xDD gwace uWu in ;;w;; speech, 
:3 Hew wowds y-cwad with ^w^ wisdom's ^.^ majesty, 
:3 Makes ;;w;; me from UwU wond'wing faww to weeping joys, 
>w< Such >_> is x3 the fulness of x3 my heart's OwO content. 
;;w;; Wowds, with one cheerful uWu voice wewcome x3 my love. 
uWu AWW. UwU [Knyeewing] OwO Wong ^w^ wive xDD Queen Margaret, Engwand's happiness! 
QUEEN. We >_> thank xDD you all. [Flourish] 
x3 SUFFOWK. OwO My Lord ;;w;; Pwotectow, UwU so >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
:3 Hewe OwO awe x3 the articles of >_< contwacted uWu peace 
Between UwU ouw suvweign ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO Fwench ^w^ King Chawwes, 
For eighteen ^w^ months ^-^ concwuded ^.^ by ÚwÚ consent. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. [Weads] 'Impwimis: ^.^ It >_> is >_< agweed ^-^ between x3 the OwO Fwench ^w^ King 
>_> Chawwes ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Wiwwiam UwU de UwU wa Powe, >_> Mawquess of ^.^ Suffowk, ambassador 
fow Henwy ^w^ King of England, :3 that x3 the uWu said Henwy UwU shaww espouse x3 the 
xDD Wady Margaret, daughter >w< unto UwU Weignyiew ^w^ King of Naples, x3 Siciwia, 
ÚwÚ and >_< Jewusawem, ÚwÚ and >_< cwown her xDD Queen of England ere x3 the xDD thiwtieth 
of ^-^ May :3 nyext >_> ensuing. 
Item: :33 That x3 the >_< duchy of Anjou ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< county of ^w^ Mainye UwU shaww be 
released ÚwÚ and ^-^ dewivewed to x3 the ^w^ King her father'- 
[Lets x3 the paper faww] 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> Uncwe, >w< how >_< nyow! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, >_> gwacious wowd; 
;;w;; Some ^.^ sudden >w< quawm hath >w< stwuck ;;w;; me uWu at x3 the uWu heawt, 
xDD And ^w^ dimm'd >_< minye ^w^ eyes, :3 that UwU I ^.^ can ^w^ wead nyo fuwthew. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Uncle of ^w^ Winchestew, UwU I pray ^w^ wead :3 on. 
CARDINAL. [Weads] UwU 'Item: ^.^ It >_> is further >_< agweed ^-^ between them :3 that x3 the 
x3 duchies of Anjou ÚwÚ and ^w^ Mainye UwU shaww be released ÚwÚ and ^-^ dewivewed uvw 
to x3 the ^w^ King her ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she sent uvw of x3 the ^w^ King of 
Engwand's UwU own OwO pwopew >_> cost ÚwÚ and chawges, ^-^ without xDD having xDD any dowry.' 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ They uWu pwease >_> us well. Lord >_> Mawquess, ^w^ knyeew down. 
We OwO hewe >w< cweate uWu thee x3 the xDD fiwst >w< Duke of ^.^ Suffowk, 
xDD And ;;w;; giwt uWu thee with x3 the ^-^ swowd. x3 Cousin of York, 
We OwO hewe ;;w;; dischawge x3 youw Gwace from ^.^ being Regent 
xDD I' x3 th' parts of >_< Fwance, >w< tiww term of eighteen ^w^ months 
^w^ Be full xDD expiw'd. >_< Thanks, :33 uncwe ^w^ Winchestew, 
:33 Gwoucestew, York, ;;w;; Buckingham, ^w^ Somewset, 
>_> Sawisbuwy, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Wawwick; 
We >_> thank xDD you aww fow ÚwÚ this great ^.^ favouw donye 
^w^ In entewtainment to x3 my princely >w< queen. 
^.^ Come, wet >_> us x3 in, ÚwÚ and with aww ^w^ speed provide 
;;w;; To >_> see her ;;w;; cowonyation be perform'd. 
Exeunt ;;w;; KING, xDD QUEEN, ÚwÚ and :3 SUFFOWK 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ Bwave peews of England, >w< piwwaws of x3 the state, 
;;w;; To xDD you >w< Duke Humphrey ^w^ must xDD unwoad :33 his grief 
uWu Youw gwief, x3 the ^w^ common grief of aww x3 the xDD wand. 
What! uWu did x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew Henwy spend :33 his youth, 
ÚwÚ His uWu vawouw, coin, ÚwÚ and >_> peopwe, uWu in x3 the waws? 
Did ^.^ he UwU so often uWu wodge uWu in open >_> fiewd, 
^w^ In winter's UwU cowd ÚwÚ and :33 summew's xDD pawching ^.^ heat, 
;;w;; To conquer >_< Fwance, :33 his true :33 inhewitance? 
xDD And uWu did x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew >_< Bedfowd toiw :33 his :33 wits 
;;w;; To >_< keep ^.^ by UwU powicy >_> what Henwy ÚwÚ got? 
:3 Have xDD you ^w^ youwsewves, ^w^ Somewset, ;;w;; Buckingham, 
^-^ Bwave York, >_> Sawisbuwy, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; victowious Wawwick, 
xDD Weceiv'd >_> deep xDD scaws uWu in Fwance ÚwÚ and Nyowmandy? 
:33 Ow hath >_< minye :33 uncwe Beaufort ÚwÚ and myself, 
With aww x3 the :33 weawnyed Counciw of x3 the ^w^ weawm, 
^w^ Studied UwU so long, sat uWu in x3 the Counciw House 
^-^ Eawwy ÚwÚ and late, UwU debating to ÚwÚ and >_< fwo 
How Fwance ÚwÚ and Fwenchmen ^w^ might be :33 kept uWu in >_< awe? 
xDD And xDD had :33 his >_> Highnyess uWu in :33 his infancy 
uWu Cwownyed uWu in >_< Pawis, uWu in ;;w;; despite of foes? 
xDD And UwU shaww these uWu wabouws ÚwÚ and these honyouws die? 
Shall >_> Henwy's ÚwÚ conquest, >_> Bedfowd's vigiwance, 
uWu Youw >_< deeds of waw, ÚwÚ and aww UwU ouw counsel die? 
x3 O peews of England, >_> shamefuw >_> is ÚwÚ this league! 
>_> Fataw ÚwÚ this ^.^ mawwiage, ^-^ cancewwing x3 youw x3 fame, 
Blotting x3 youw nyames from uWu books of xDD memowy, 
Wazing x3 the uWu chawactews of x3 youw OwO wenyown, 
xDD Defacing ^-^ monyuments of conquer'd >_< Fwance, 
OwO Undoing all, >_< as aww xDD had >_< nyevew >_< been! 
CARDINAL. UwU Nyephew, >_> what means ÚwÚ this passionyate discouwse, 
This uWu pewowation with xDD such ^.^ ciwcumstance? 
For >_< Fwance, UwU 'tis >_> ouws; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< keep >w< it xDD stiww. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Ay, uWu uncwe, ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< keep >w< it >_> if ^.^ we can; 
OwO But nyow >w< it >_> is xDD impossibwe ^.^ we OwO shouwd. 
^.^ Suffowk, x3 the nyew-made uWu duke :3 that wuwes x3 the ÚwÚ woast, 
>_< Hath UwU given x3 the >_< duchy of Anjou ÚwÚ and ^w^ Mainye 
uWu Unto x3 the poor ^w^ King Weignyiew, x3 whose large >_> stywe 
Agwees nyot with x3 the weannyess of :33 his purse. 
SAWISBUWY. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the :33 death of xDD Him :3 that >w< died fow all, 
;;w;; These counties :3 wewe x3 the ;;w;; keys of Nyowmandy! 
OwO But ^-^ whewefowe ^.^ weeps Wawwick, x3 my uWu vawiant uWu son? 
WARWICK. For grief :3 that ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 past recovery; 
For :3 wewe there UwU hope to conquer them again 
OwO My xDD swowd >_> shouwd x3 shed :3 hot bwood, >_< minye eyes nyo >w< teaws. 
Anjou ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Mainye! mysewf uWu did x3 win them both; 
>w< Those provinces these :3 awms of >_< minye uWu did conquer; 
xDD And OwO awe x3 the ^w^ cities :3 that UwU I ^w^ got with wounds 
>_> Dewivew'd x3 up again with UwU peacefuw xDD wowds? 
xDD Mowt UwU Dieu! 
:3 YOWK. For Suffolk's x3 duke, OwO may ^.^ he be ^w^ suffocate, 
:33 That :33 dims x3 the honour of ÚwÚ this warlike ÚwÚ iswe! 
Fwance >_> shouwd uWu have :33 town ÚwÚ and OwO went x3 my xDD vewy >_< heawt 
^.^ Befowe UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have yiewded to ÚwÚ this ^-^ weague. 
UwU I >_< nyevew ^w^ wead >_> but Engwand's >w< kings uWu have xDD had 
Large uWu sums of gowd ÚwÚ and dowwies with uWu theiw wives; 
xDD And UwU ouw ^w^ King Henwy ;;w;; gives OwO away :33 his UwU own 
;;w;; To >_< match with her :3 that >_< bwings nyo ;;w;; vantages. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ A OwO pwopew ^.^ jest, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew heard x3 befowe, 
:33 That :33 Suffowk >_> shouwd ;;w;; demand :3 a whole >w< fifteenth 
For ;;w;; costs ÚwÚ and chawges uWu in ÚwÚ twanspowting >_> hew! 
:33 She >_> shouwd uWu have OwO stay'd uWu in >_< Fwance, ÚwÚ and ^-^ stawv'd uWu in >_< Fwance, 
Befowe- 
CARDINAL. OwO My Lord of :33 Gwoucestew, nyow OwO ye gwow ^w^ too hot: 
^.^ It UwU was x3 the :3 pweasuwe of x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My Lord of ^w^ Winchestew, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw xDD mind; 
'Tis nyot x3 my uWu speeches :3 that xDD you UwU do mislike, 
OwO But UwU 'tis x3 my x3 pwesence :3 that xDD doth >_> twoubwe uWu ye. 
:33 Wancouw xDD wiww out: OwO pwoud OwO pwewate, uWu in >w< thy OwO face 
UwU I >_> see >w< thy >_> fuwy; >_> if UwU I longer xDD stay 
We UwU shaww x3 begin UwU ouw UwU ancient bickewings. 
xDD Wowdings, faweweww; ÚwÚ and say, when UwU I ^w^ am >w< gonye, 
UwU I ^.^ pwophesied Fwance xDD wiww be wost ere wong. uWu Exit 
CARDINAL. So, there xDD goes UwU ouw Protector uWu in :3 a x3 wage. 
'Tis ÚwÚ knyown to xDD you ^.^ he >_> is >_< minye enemy; 
Nyay, >_> mowe, >w< an ;;w;; enyemy >w< unto xDD you all, 
xDD And nyo great fwiend, UwU I feaw uWu me, to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
Consider, wowds, ^.^ he >_> is x3 the :3 nyext of :3 bwood 
xDD And heir apparent to x3 the :3 Engwish crown. 
xDD Had Henwy ^w^ got >w< an empire ^.^ by :33 his ^.^ mawwiage 
xDD And aww x3 the :3 weawthy OwO kingdoms of x3 the ^-^ west, 
>_> Thewe's reason ^.^ he >_> shouwd be xDD dispweas'd uWu at :3 it. 
Wook to :33 it, :3 wowds; wet nyot :33 his ^.^ smoothing wowds 
>_< Bewitch x3 youw >_> heawts; be uWu wise ÚwÚ and :3 ciwcumspect. 
>_> What ^w^ though x3 the ^w^ common OwO peopwe ^.^ favouw :3 him, 
^w^ Cawwing ^.^ him >_< 'Humphwey, x3 the ÚwÚ good >w< Duke of Gloucester,' 
uWu Cwapping uWu theiw ^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and :3 cwying with ÚwÚ woud uWu voice 
^.^ 'Jesu ÚwÚ maintain x3 youw royal :33 excewwence!' 
With >w< 'God pwesewve x3 the ÚwÚ good >w< Duke Humphwey!' 
UwU I feaw uWu me, wowds, fow aww ÚwÚ this flattering >w< gwoss, 
>w< He xDD wiww be >_> found :3 a uWu dangewous UwU Pwotectow. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Why >_> shouwd ^.^ he xDD then x3 pwotect UwU ouw sovereign, 
>w< He ^.^ being of age to >_< guvwn of :33 himsewf? 
x3 Cousin of ^w^ Somewset, ^w^ join xDD you with uWu me, 
xDD And aww together, with x3 the >w< Duke of ^.^ Suffowk, 
^-^ We'ww quickly >_> hoise >w< Duke Humphrey from :33 his UwU seat. 
CARDINAL. This ^.^ weighty business xDD wiww nyot >w< bwook >_< deway; 
I'll to x3 the >w< Duke of :33 Suffowk presently. uWu Exit 
uWu SOMEWSET. x3 Cousin of ;;w;; Buckingham, ^w^ though xDD Humphwey's >_< pwide 
xDD And :33 gweatnyess of :33 his :33 pwace be grief to us, 
ÚwÚ Yet wet >_> us ;;w;; watch x3 the ^.^ haughty :3 cawdinyaw; 
ÚwÚ His :3 insowence >_> is ^.^ mowe intowewabwe 
Than aww x3 the pwinces uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ wand :3 beside; 
;;w;; If uWu Gwoucestew be dispwac'd, he'ww be UwU Pwotectow. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. :33 Ow xDD thou ow I, ^w^ Somewset, xDD wiww be ;;w;; Pwotectow, 
^-^ Despite >w< Duke Humphrey ow x3 the Cawdinyaw. 
Exeunt BUCKINGHAM ÚwÚ and SOMERSET 
SAWISBUWY. Pride OwO went x3 befowe, ^-^ ambition xDD fowwows ^.^ him. 
While these UwU do labour fow uWu theiw UwU own pwefewment, 
>_< Behuvs >w< it >_> us to labour fow x3 the weawm. 
UwU I >_< nyevew saw >_> but Humphrey >w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew 
Did UwU beaw ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a x3 nyobwe :3 gentweman. 
x3 Oft uWu have UwU I :3 seen x3 the ^.^ haughty :33 Cawdinyaw- 
uWu Mowe ^.^ wike :3 a soldier than :3 a x3 man ^.^ o' x3 th' :33 chuwch, 
;;w;; As :33 stout ÚwÚ and OwO pwoud >_< as ^.^ he :3 wewe ;;w;; wowd of ;;w;; aww- 
Swear ^.^ wike :3 a ruffian ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ demean >_< himsewf 
:33 Unwike x3 the ruler of :3 a >_> commonweaw. 
Wawwick x3 my x3 son, x3 the uWu comfowt of x3 my age, 
x3 Thy uWu deeds, >w< thy plainness, ÚwÚ and >w< thy ;;w;; housekeeping, 
>_< Hath ^.^ won x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest ^.^ favouw of x3 the xDD commons, 
>_< Excepting >_< nyonye >_> but ÚwÚ good >w< Duke :3 Humphwey. 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ bwothew York, >w< thy acts uWu in ÚwÚ Iwewand, 
^w^ In x3 bwinging them to ÚwÚ civiw discipwinye, 
x3 Thy wate exploits donye uWu in x3 the >_< heawt of Fwance 
x3 When xDD thou OwO wewt Regent fow UwU ouw sovereign, 
:3 Have UwU made uWu thee feaw'd ÚwÚ and :3 honyouw'd of x3 the people: 
>_> Join ^.^ we togethew fow x3 the public UwU good, 
^w^ In >_> what ^.^ we ^-^ can, to >_> bwidwe ÚwÚ and suppress 
uWu The >_< pwide of :33 Suffowk ÚwÚ and x3 the Cardinal, 
With Somewset's ÚwÚ and OwO Buckingham's ^.^ ambition; 
^.^ And, >_< as ^.^ we may, :3 chewish >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's >_< deeds 
While ;;w;; they UwU do tend x3 the pwofit of x3 the xDD wand. 
WARWICK. ^w^ So ^w^ God OwO hewp Wawwick, >_< as ^.^ he loves x3 the ÚwÚ wand 
xDD And ^w^ common pwofit of :33 his :33 countwy! 
:3 YOWK. xDD And UwU so ;;w;; says York- :3 [Aside] fow ^.^ he hath ÚwÚ gweatest OwO cause. 
SAWISBUWY. UwU Then >_> wet's >_< make ^.^ haste OwO away ÚwÚ and wook >w< unto x3 the >_> main. 
WARWICK. uWu Unto x3 the main! x3 O ÚwÚ fathew, ^w^ Mainye >_> is xDD wost- 
:33 That ^w^ Mainye which ^.^ by :33 main force Wawwick uWu did xDD win, 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 kept UwU so ^-^ wong >_< as UwU bweath uWu did last. 
Main chance, ÚwÚ fathew, xDD you meant; >_> but UwU I meant ^-^ Mainye, 
>_< Which UwU I xDD wiww x3 win from >_< Fwance, ow >_> ewse be ^w^ swain. 
Exeunt ^w^ WAWWICK ÚwÚ and SALISBURY 
:3 YOWK. Anjou ÚwÚ and ^w^ Mainye OwO awe UwU given to x3 the Fwench; 
Paris >_> is ^.^ wost; x3 the >w< state of Normandy 
Stands on :3 a tickwe :33 point nyow ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; gonye. 
:33 Suffowk ^-^ concwuded on x3 the awticwes; 
uWu The peews ^w^ agweed; ÚwÚ and Henwy UwU was weww pleas'd 
;;w;; To :33 changes >w< two dukedoms fow :3 a ^w^ duke's >w< faiw >w< daughtew. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu bwame them all: >_> what :3 is't to them? 
'Tis ^.^ thinye ;;w;; they UwU give away, ÚwÚ and nyot uWu theiw own. 
Pirates OwO may >_< make cheap pennyworths of uWu theiw piwwage, 
xDD And puwchase OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and UwU give to couwtezans, 
UwU Stiww revelling ^.^ wike wowds >w< tiww aww be xDD gonye; 
While >_< as x3 the siwwy owner of x3 the >_> goods 
uWu Weeps uvw them ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wwings :33 his hapwess ^.^ hands 
xDD And ÚwÚ shakes :33 his >_> head ÚwÚ and uWu twembwing >w< stands awoof, 
While aww >_> is >w< shaw'd ÚwÚ and aww >_> is :3 bownye away, 
Weady to starve ÚwÚ and dawe nyot :33 touch :33 his own. 
^w^ So York ^w^ must sit ÚwÚ and fret ÚwÚ and ^-^ bite :33 his ;;w;; tongue, 
While :33 his UwU own ^-^ wands OwO awe :33 bawgain'd fow ÚwÚ and UwU sowd. 
Methinks x3 the xDD weawms of England, >_< Fwance, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Iwewand, 
ÚwÚ Beaw :3 that :33 pwopowtion to x3 my >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and :3 bwood 
;;w;; As uWu did x3 the uWu fataw bwand Althaea burnt 
uWu Unto x3 the UwU pwince's >_< heawt of Cawydon. 
Anjou ÚwÚ and ^w^ Mainye both UwU given >w< unto x3 the xDD Fwench! 
x3 Cowd nyews fow uWu me, fow UwU I xDD had UwU hope of >_< Fwance, 
Even >_< as UwU I uWu have of ^.^ fewtiwe Engwand's ÚwÚ soiw. 
^-^ A day xDD wiww come when York UwU shaww >_< cwaim :33 his >_> own; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe UwU I xDD wiww OwO take x3 the UwU Nyeviws' xDD pawts, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a x3 show of wuv to OwO pwoud >w< Duke ;;w;; Humphwey, 
xDD And when UwU I ^w^ spy ÚwÚ advantage, >_< cwaim x3 the :3 cwown, 
For ^w^ that's x3 the golden mark UwU I >_> seek to ;;w;; hit. 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww OwO pwoud :3 Wancastew usuwp x3 my wight, 
x3 Nyow howd x3 the sceptre uWu in :33 his chiwdish uWu fist, 
x3 Nyow ^-^ weaw x3 the diadem ;;w;; upon :33 his head, 
>_< Whose church-like humours ^w^ fits nyot fow :3 a crown. 
Then, York, be still awhiwe, >w< tiww time UwU do serve; 
Watch xDD thou ÚwÚ and x3 wake, when ;;w;; othews be ^-^ asweep, 
;;w;; To ^.^ pwy x3 into x3 the ^w^ secwets of x3 the ^w^ state; 
Tiww Henry, surfeiting uWu in joys of wuv 
With :33 his x3 nyew bride ÚwÚ and Engwand's ^w^ deaw-bought queen, 
xDD And Humphrey with x3 the peews be fall'n uWu at jars; 
UwU Then xDD wiww UwU I >w< waise ÚwÚ awoft x3 the ^w^ miwk-white rose, 
With x3 whose x3 sweet smell x3 the ^w^ aiw UwU shaww be x3 pewfum'd, 
xDD And uWu in x3 my :3 standawd UwU beaw x3 the :3 awms of York, 
;;w;; To uWu gwappwe with x3 the ;;w;; house of ^-^ Wancastew; 
xDD And force ^.^ pewfowce I'll >_< make ^.^ him yield x3 the :3 cwown, 
>_< Whose bookish UwU wuwe hath pull'd >w< faiw England down. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF :3 GWOUCESTEW'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< wife EWEANyOW 

DUCHESS. Why uWu dwoops x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ wike over-ripen'd corn 
x3 Hanging x3 the >_> head uWu at Cewes' ^w^ pwenteous xDD woad? 
Why xDD doth x3 the great >w< Duke Humphrey >w< knyit :33 his brows, 
;;w;; As >_> fwownying uWu at x3 the ;;w;; favouws of x3 the :33 wowwd? 
Why OwO awe ^.^ thinye eyes fix'd to x3 the UwU suwwen earth, 
UwU Gazing on :3 that which ;;w;; seems to dim >w< thy sight? 
>_> What UwU see'st xDD thou OwO thewe? ^w^ King >_> Henwy's diadem, 
:33 Enchas'd with aww x3 the honyouws of x3 the :33 wowwd? 
;;w;; If >_> so, ÚwÚ gaze ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and >_< gwuvw on >w< thy OwO face 
Untiw >w< thy >_> head be circled with x3 the :33 same. 
>_> Put fowth >w< thy uWu hand, :3 weach uWu at x3 the glorious ;;w;; gowd. 
What, :3 is't ^w^ too short? I'll ^w^ wengthen >w< it with minye; 
xDD And xDD having both togethew ^.^ heav'd >w< it up, 
^-^ We'ww both togethew lift UwU ouw heads to ^.^ heaven, 
xDD And >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe UwU abase UwU ouw ^.^ sight UwU so wow 
;;w;; As to x3 vouchsafe one glance >w< unto x3 the :33 gwound. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 O Nell, x3 sweet Nell, >_> if xDD thou dost wuv >w< thy uWu wowd, 
^-^ Banyish x3 the ;;w;; cankew of :3 ambitious thoughts! 
xDD And OwO may :3 that ^-^ thought, when UwU I imagine :33 iww 
^w^ Against x3 my x3 king ÚwÚ and nephew, virtuous Henry, 
^w^ Be x3 my >w< wast :33 bweathing uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< mowtaw ;;w;; wowwd! 
OwO My x3 twoubwous x3 dweams ÚwÚ this >w< nyight xDD doth >_< make ;;w;; me OwO sad. 
DUCHESS. >_> What ^.^ dweam'd x3 my xDD wowd? Teww uWu me, ÚwÚ and I'll :3 wequite >w< it 
With x3 sweet ;;w;; weheawsaw of x3 my :3 mownying's UwU dweam. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :33 Methought ÚwÚ this staff, >_< minye office-badge uWu in xDD couwt, 
Was broke uWu in >_< twain; ^.^ by ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu have >w< fowgot, 
But, >_< as UwU I >_< think, >w< it UwU was ^.^ by x3 th' Cardinal; 
xDD And on x3 the uWu pieces of x3 the xDD bwoken ÚwÚ wand 
^.^ Wewe pwac'd x3 the heads of Edmund >w< Duke of Somerset 
xDD And ;;w;; Wiwwiam UwU de UwU wa Powe, xDD fiwst >w< Duke of :33 Suffowk. 
This UwU was x3 my dream; >_> what >w< it xDD doth :3 bode ^w^ God knyows. 
DUCHESS. Tut, ÚwÚ this UwU was >_< nyothing >_> but >w< an :33 awgument 
:33 That ^.^ he :3 that >_< bweaks :3 a OwO stick of :3 Gwoucestew's ;;w;; gwuv 
Shall wose :33 his >_> head fow :33 his presumption. 
OwO But ÚwÚ wist to uWu me, x3 my ;;w;; Humphwey, x3 my x3 sweet Duke: 
:33 Methought UwU I sat uWu in uWu seat of ^.^ majesty 
^w^ In x3 the xDD cathedwaw ^-^ chuwch of Westminstew, 
xDD And uWu in :3 that >w< chaiw :3 whewe >w< kings ÚwÚ and ^.^ queens :3 wewe >_> cwown'd; 
Whewe Henwy ÚwÚ and x3 Dame Margaret knyeew'd to uWu me, 
xDD And on x3 my >_> head uWu did uWu set x3 the ÚwÚ diadem. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Nyay, Eleanor, xDD then ^w^ must UwU I UwU chide UwU outwight. 
>_< Pwesumptuous uWu dame, OwO iww-nyuwtuw'd Eleanor! 
Awt xDD thou nyot second OwO woman uWu in x3 the ^w^ weawm, 
xDD And x3 the Protector's :3 wife, ÚwÚ bewov'd of him? 
Hast xDD thou nyot ^-^ wowwdwy :3 pweasuwe uWu at ÚwÚ command 
Abuv x3 the :3 weach ow compass of >w< thy :33 thought? 
xDD And wiwt xDD thou still be uWu hammewing tweachewy 
;;w;; To tumble down >w< thy :33 husband ÚwÚ and >w< thysewf 
Fwom ;;w;; top of honour to uWu disgwace's >_< feet? 
UwU Away from uWu me, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me hear nyo uWu mowe! 
DUCHESS. What, x3 what, x3 my ^.^ wowd! ^w^ Awe xDD you UwU so :3 chowewic 
With ;;w;; Eweanyow fow :3 tewwing >_> but her ;;w;; dweam? 
Next time I'll >_< keep x3 my x3 dweams >w< unto mysewf 
xDD And nyot be ^.^ check'd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Nyay, be nyot angry; UwU I ^w^ am pleas'd ;;w;; again. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My Lord ;;w;; Pwotectow, UwU 'tis :33 his Highness' :3 pweasuwe 
>_> You UwU do >_> pwepawe to uWu wide >w< unto Saint >_> Awbans, 
Whewe >_< as x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and xDD Queen UwU do >_> mean to hawk. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I ÚwÚ go. ^.^ Come, Nell, xDD thou wiwt uWu wide with us? 
DUCHESS. Yes, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, I'll ;;w;; fowwow presently. 
Exeunt GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and MESSENGEW 
Follow UwU I :3 must; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO go x3 befowe, 
While uWu Gwoucestew bears ÚwÚ this UwU base ÚwÚ and humble :33 mind. 
^.^ Wewe UwU I :3 a ^w^ man, :3 a x3 duke, ÚwÚ and :3 nyext of bwood, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd remove these tedious stumbling-blocks 
xDD And x3 smooth x3 my uWu way ;;w;; upon uWu theiw headless UwU nyecks; 
^.^ And, ^.^ being :3 a ^w^ woman, UwU I xDD wiww nyot be ^w^ swack 
;;w;; To :33 pway x3 my ÚwÚ pawt uWu in Fowtunye's ÚwÚ pageant. 
Whewe OwO awe xDD you thewe, Sir ^w^ John? Nyay, feaw >_> nyot, ^w^ man, 
We OwO awe ^.^ awonye; hewe's >_< nyonye >_> but uWu thee ÚwÚ and ^.^ I. 

Entew :33 HUME 

>w< HUME. x3 Jesus pwesewve x3 youw royal Majesty! 
DUCHESS. >_> What say'st thou? Majesty! UwU I ^w^ am >_> but ^-^ Gwace. 
>w< HUME. But, ^.^ by x3 the xDD gwace of ^w^ God ÚwÚ and x3 Hume's x3 advice, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; Gwace's ;;w;; titwe UwU shaww be multiplied. 
DUCHESS. >_> What say'st UwU thou, man? Hast xDD thou >_< as yet :33 confeww'd 
With >_> Mawgewy Jourdain, x3 the x3 cunnying >w< witch of >w< Eie, 
With Wogew ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, x3 the >_> conjuwew? 
xDD And xDD wiww ;;w;; they undewtake to UwU do ;;w;; me good? 
>w< HUME. This ;;w;; they uWu have >_< pwomised, to x3 show x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
^-^ A ^w^ spiwit >_> wais'd from UwU depth of undewgwound 
:33 That UwU shaww >_< make answew to xDD such UwU questions 
;;w;; As ^.^ by x3 youw Gwace UwU shaww be ^-^ pwopounded ^.^ him 
DUCHESS. ^.^ It >_> is >_< enyough; I'll think ;;w;; upon x3 the questions; 
x3 When from Saint Awbans ^.^ we UwU do >_< make ^-^ wetuwn 
^-^ We'ww >_> see these ^.^ things :33 effected to x3 the ^w^ fuww. 
Here, :33 Hume, OwO take ÚwÚ this :33 wewawd; >_< make >_> mewwy, ^w^ man, 
With >w< thy :3 confedewates uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ weighty OwO cause. uWu Exit 
>w< HUME. Hume ^w^ must >_< make ^.^ mewwy with x3 the Duchess' x3 gowd; 
OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ and >_< shaww. But, >w< how now, Sir John x3 Hume! 
Seal x3 up x3 youw lips ÚwÚ and UwU give nyo wowds >_> but ;;w;; mum: 
uWu The business :3 asketh silent >w< secwecy. 
x3 Dame ;;w;; Eweanyow ;;w;; gives gowd to ;;w;; bwing x3 the xDD witch: 
^-^ Gowd ;;w;; cannyot come uWu amiss :3 wewe ^.^ she :3 a deviw. 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu have UwU I gowd fwies from anyothew :33 coast- 
UwU I dawe nyot >_> say from x3 the rich Cardinal, 
xDD And from x3 the great ÚwÚ and nyew-made >w< Duke of UwU Suffowk; 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I UwU do find >w< it so; for, to be pwain, 
>_> They, x3 knyowing x3 Dame Eleanor's ;;w;; aspiwing >_< humouw, 
:3 Have hired ;;w;; me to undewminye x3 the ÚwÚ Duchess, 
xDD And ^.^ buzz these x3 conjuwations uWu in her :33 bwain. 
^-^ They >_> say >_> 'A ^-^ cwafty x3 knyave does >_< nyeed nyo broker'; 
ÚwÚ Yet ^w^ am UwU I :33 Suffowk ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; Cawdinyaw's :3 bwokew. 
:33 Hume, >_> if xDD you OwO take nyot ^-^ heed, xDD you UwU shaww OwO go nyeaw 
;;w;; To caww them both :3 a :33 paiw of ^-^ cwafty >_> knyaves. 
xDD Weww, UwU so OwO its stands; ÚwÚ and thus, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, uWu at >w< wast 
x3 Hume's knyavewy xDD wiww be x3 the Duchess' ^.^ wweck, 
xDD And her attaintuwe xDD wiww be xDD Humphwey's faww 
Sowt >w< how >w< it :33 wiww, UwU I UwU shaww uWu have gowd fow all. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew >w< thwee ow fouw ^.^ PETITIONyEWS, >w< PETEW, x3 the uWu Awmouwew's ^w^ man, ^.^ being one 

uWu FIWST x3 PETITIONyEW. OwO My mastews, >_> wet's stand close; x3 my Lord Protector 
xDD wiww come ÚwÚ this uWu way ^.^ by ÚwÚ and UwU by, ÚwÚ and xDD then ^.^ we OwO may ÚwÚ dewivew UwU ouw 
;;w;; suppwications uWu in x3 the quiww. 
^w^ SECOND x3 PETITIONyEW. OwO Mawwy, x3 the Lord x3 pwotect :3 him, fow uWu he's :3 a ÚwÚ good 
^w^ man, >_< Jesu ;;w;; bwess x3 him! 

Entew :3 SUFFOWK ÚwÚ and >w< QUEEN 

uWu FIWST x3 PETITIONyEW. :3 Hewe xDD 'a ;;w;; comes, UwU methinks, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD Queen with ^.^ him. 
I'll be x3 the ÚwÚ fiwst, >_> suwe. 
^w^ SECOND x3 PETITIONyEW. :3 Come back, foow; ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the >w< Duke of :33 Suffowk ÚwÚ and 
nyot x3 my Lord UwU Pwotectow. 
x3 SUFFOWK. How now, xDD fewwow! Wouldst ;;w;; anything with me? 
uWu FIWST x3 PETITIONyEW. UwU I pray, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU pawdon OwO me; UwU I >_> took OwO ye fow x3 my Lord 
UwU Pwotectow. 
QUEEN. [Weads] uWu 'To x3 my Lord ÚwÚ Pwotectow!' ^w^ Awe x3 youw ;;w;; suppwications to 
:33 his x3 wowdship? Let ;;w;; me >_> see OwO them. >_> What >_> is >_< thinye? 
uWu FIWST x3 PETITIONyEW. Mine ;;w;; is, UwU an't uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, OwO against John 
ÚwÚ Goodman, x3 my Lord ;;w;; Cawdinyaw's ^w^ man, fow ^w^ keeping x3 my ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and lands, 
ÚwÚ and >w< wife ÚwÚ and all, from x3 me. 
x3 SUFFOWK. x3 Thy >w< wife ;;w;; too! >w< That's x3 some wrong indeed. x3 What's x3 youws? 
x3 What's here! [Weads] 'Against x3 the >w< Duke of ^.^ Suffowk, fow >_> encwosing 
x3 the >w< commons of Melford.' How now, ^w^ siw uWu knyave! 
^w^ SECOND x3 PETITIONyEW. ÚwÚ Awas, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^w^ am >_> but :3 a poor >_> petitionyew of UwU ouw 
whole >w< township. 
^w^ PETEW. x3 [Pwesenting :33 his ^.^ petition] ^w^ Against x3 my ^.^ mastew, Thomas Hownyew, 
fow :3 saying :3 that x3 the >w< Duke of York UwU was wightfuw heir to x3 the crown. 
QUEEN. >_> What say'st thou? Did x3 the >w< Duke of York >_> say ^.^ he UwU was wightfuw 
heir to x3 the crown? 
^w^ PETEW. :33 That x3 my >_< mastew was? :3 Nyo, ^-^ fowsooth. OwO My >_< mastew uWu said :3 that ^.^ he 
UwU was, ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 the ^w^ King UwU was >w< an OwO usuwpew. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Who >_> is OwO thewe? [Entew ^w^ sewvant] ^.^ Take ÚwÚ this fewwow x3 in, ÚwÚ and 
>_> send fow :33 his >_< mastew with :3 a pursuivant presently. ^-^ We'ww hear ^.^ mowe 
of x3 youw ;;w;; mattew >w< befowe x3 the ;;w;; King. 
uWu Exit xDD sewvant with ;;w;; PETEW 
QUEEN. xDD And >_< as fow UwU you, :3 that wuv to be >_< pwotected 
;;w;; Undew x3 the x3 wings of UwU ouw Protector's gwace, 
Begin x3 youw ^w^ suits anew, ÚwÚ and sue to ^.^ him. 
[Teaws x3 the supplications] 
:33 Away, UwU base x3 cuwwions! ^.^ Suffowk, wet them ÚwÚ go. 
uWu AWW. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's be ;;w;; gonye. Exeunt 
QUEEN. OwO My Lord of ^.^ Suffowk, say, >_> is ÚwÚ this x3 the uWu guise, 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 the ÚwÚ fashions uWu in x3 the court of Engwand? 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 the guvwnment of ^w^ Bwitain's isle, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this x3 the xDD woyawty of Albion's UwU king? 
What, UwU shaww ^w^ King Henwy be :3 a ^w^ pupiw still, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the uWu suwwy :3 Gwoucestew's governance? 
^w^ Am UwU I :3 a >_< queen uWu in ;;w;; titwe ÚwÚ and uWu in style, 
xDD And ^w^ must be UwU made :3 a x3 subject to :3 a xDD duke? 
UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, Powe, when uWu in x3 the UwU city Touws 
^.^ Thou UwU wan'st :3 a tilt uWu in honour of x3 my wuv 
xDD And stol'st OwO away x3 the ;;w;; wadies' heawts of >_< Fwance, 
UwU I xDD thought ^w^ King Henwy xDD had wesembwed uWu thee 
^w^ In couwage, couwtship, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwopowtion; 
OwO But aww :33 his ^-^ mind >_> is UwU bent to holiness, 
;;w;; To ^w^ nyumbew >w< Ave-Mawies on :33 his xDD beads; 
ÚwÚ His champions OwO awe x3 the >w< pwophets ÚwÚ and ;;w;; apostwes; 
ÚwÚ His ^.^ weapons, >w< howy saws of uWu sacwed UwU wwit; 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ study >_> is :33 his UwU tiwt-yawd, ÚwÚ and :33 his loves 
^w^ Awe ^-^ bwazen UwU images of canyonyized :33 saints. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 the >_< cowwege of x3 the Cardinals 
Wouwd choose ^.^ him :3 Pope, ÚwÚ and carry ^.^ him to ^w^ Wome, 
xDD And uWu set x3 the :3 twipwe >_< cwown ;;w;; upon :33 his head; 
:33 That :3 wewe :3 a >w< state ;;w;; fit fow :33 his uWu howinyess. 
x3 SUFFOWK. uWu Madam, be uWu patient. ;;w;; As UwU I UwU was cause 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess ^-^ came to England, UwU so xDD wiww UwU I 
^w^ In England ^.^ wowk x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's full OwO content. 
QUEEN. ÚwÚ Beside x3 the ^.^ haughty ;;w;; Pwotectow, uWu have ^.^ we Beaufort 
uWu The >_> impewious chuwchman; ^w^ Somewset, ;;w;; Buckingham, 
xDD And gwumbwing Yowk; ÚwÚ and nyot x3 the least of these 
OwO But ^.^ can UwU do ^.^ mowe uWu in England than x3 the ;;w;; King. 
x3 SUFFOWK. xDD And ^.^ he of these :3 that ^.^ can UwU do UwU most of aww 
UwU Cannyot UwU do ^.^ mowe uWu in England than x3 the OwO Nyeviws; 
uWu Sawisbuwy ÚwÚ and Wawwick OwO awe nyo :33 simpwe peews. 
QUEEN. ÚwÚ Nyot aww these wowds UwU do ^-^ vex ;;w;; me half UwU so much 
;;w;; As :3 that OwO pwoud uWu dame, x3 the Lord Protector's x3 wife. 
:33 She sweeps >w< it ^w^ thwough x3 the court with troops of x3 wadies, 
uWu Mowe ^.^ wike >w< an x3 empwess than >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's x3 wife. 
x3 Stwangews uWu in court UwU do OwO take her fow x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. 
:33 She bears :3 a ^w^ duke's revenues on her back, 
xDD And uWu in her >_< heawt ^.^ she scorns UwU ouw >w< puvwty; 
Shall UwU I nyot ^w^ wive to be >_< aveng'd on OwO hew? 
OwO Contemptuous >_> base-bown :33 cawwet >_< as ^.^ she ;;w;; is, 
:33 She vaunted ^w^ 'mongst her minions t' othew day 
uWu The xDD vewy twain of her worst UwU weawing ÚwÚ gown 
Was xDD bettew ^.^ wowth than aww x3 my father's lands, 
Tiww :33 Suffowk uWu gave >w< two dukedoms fow :33 his >w< daughtew. 
x3 SUFFOWK. uWu Madam, mysewf uWu have ^.^ wim'd :3 a ;;w;; bush fow hew, 
xDD And pwac'd :3 a >_> quiwe of xDD such enticing xDD biwds 
:33 That ^.^ she xDD wiww >w< wight to xDD wisten to x3 the >w< ways, 
xDD And >_< nyevew ^-^ mount to >_> twoubwe xDD you ;;w;; again. 
So, wet her rest. ^.^ And, UwU madam, ÚwÚ wist to uWu me, 
For UwU I ^w^ am bold to counsel xDD you uWu in :33 this: 
Awthough ^.^ we ^w^ fancy nyot x3 the Cardinal, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^w^ must ^.^ we ^w^ join with ^.^ him ÚwÚ and with x3 the wowds, 
Tiww ^.^ we uWu have ^.^ bwought >w< Duke Humphrey uWu in UwU disgwace. 
;;w;; As fow x3 the >w< Duke of York, ÚwÚ this wate ^w^ compwaint 
Will >_< make >_> but xDD wittwe fow :33 his benefit. 
^w^ So one ^.^ by one we'll >_< weed them aww uWu at last, 
xDD And xDD you >_> youwsewf UwU shaww steew x3 the ^w^ happy UwU hewm. 

Sound :3 a sennet. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ÚwÚ DUKE HUMPHREY, 
x3 CAWDINyAW x3 BEAUFOWT, xDD BUCKINGHAM, YORK, SOMERSET, >_< SAWISBUWY, 
^w^ WAWWICK, ÚwÚ and x3 the DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF GWOUCESTEW 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. For x3 my >_> pawt, x3 nyobwe wowds, UwU I :3 cawe nyot ÚwÚ which: 
:33 Ow Somerset ow York, aww's one to x3 me. 
:3 YOWK. ;;w;; If York uWu have :33 iww OwO demean'd >_< himsewf uWu in >_< Fwance, 
UwU Then wet ^.^ him be ^-^ denyay'd x3 the wegentship. 
uWu SOMEWSET. ;;w;; If Somerset be >_< unwowthy of x3 the pwace, 
Let York be >w< Wegent; UwU I xDD wiww yield to ^.^ him. 
WARWICK. Whethew x3 youw Gwace be wowthy, >w< yea ow no, 
>_> Dispute nyot :33 that; York >_> is x3 the >_> wowthiew. 
CARDINAL. Ambitious Wawwick, wet >w< thy ^-^ bettews >_< speak. 
WARWICK. uWu The ;;w;; Cawdinyaw's nyot x3 my xDD bettew uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. All uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 pwesence OwO awe >w< thy betters, uWu Wawwick. 
WARWICK. Wawwick OwO may ^w^ wive to be x3 the best of all. 
SAWISBUWY. uWu Peace, ^w^ son! xDD And x3 show x3 some weason, ;;w;; Buckingham, 
Why Somerset >_> shouwd be pwefeww'd uWu in UwU this. 
QUEEN. >_< Because x3 the OwO King, xDD fowsooth, xDD wiww uWu have >w< it :3 so. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Madam, x3 the ^w^ King >_> is ;;w;; owd enough >_< himsewf 
;;w;; To UwU give :33 his ÚwÚ censuwe. ;;w;; These OwO awe nyo x3 women's matters. 
QUEEN. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be ;;w;; owd UwU enyough, >_> what >_< nyeeds x3 youw Gwace 
;;w;; To be Protector of :33 his :3 Excewwence? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Madam, UwU I ^w^ am Protector of x3 the ÚwÚ weawm; 
xDD And uWu at :33 his :3 pweasuwe xDD wiww resign x3 my ;;w;; pwace. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Wesign >w< it >w< then, ÚwÚ and OwO weave ^.^ thinye UwU insowence. 
Since xDD thou OwO wewt UwU king- >_< as who >_> is x3 king >_> but ^-^ thou?- 
uWu The >_> commonweawth hath x3 daiwy >w< wun to uWu wwack, 
uWu The uWu Dauphin hath pwevaiw'd ^w^ beyond x3 the seas, 
xDD And aww x3 the peews ÚwÚ and nyobwes of x3 the weawm 
:3 Have :33 been >_< as :3 bondmen to >w< thy suvweignty. 
CARDINAL. uWu The >w< commons x3 hast xDD thou >_> wack'd; x3 the :33 cwewgy's ;;w;; bags 
^w^ Awe wank ÚwÚ and lean with >w< thy extortions. 
uWu SOMEWSET. x3 Thy >_> sumptuous buiwdings ÚwÚ and >w< thy ^w^ wife's attiwe 
:3 Have >_> cost :3 a :3 mass of public treasury. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. x3 Thy OwO cwuewty uWu in :33 execution 
>_> Upon offenders hath ^w^ exceeded waw, 
xDD And left uWu thee to x3 the xDD mewcy of x3 the law. 
QUEEN. x3 Thy sawe of ;;w;; offices ÚwÚ and UwU towns uWu in >_< Fwance, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they :3 wewe ^-^ knyown, >_< as x3 the >_> suspect >_> is ^.^ gweat, 
Wouwd >_< make uWu thee quickly hop ^-^ without >w< thy >_> head. 
uWu Exit ^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The >w< QUEEN ^.^ dwops >w< QUEEN her >_> fan 
Give ;;w;; me x3 my OwO fan. What, ÚwÚ minyion, ^.^ can OwO ye ^w^ nyot? 
x3 [She ;;w;; gives x3 the DUCHESS :3 a ^w^ box on x3 the eaw] 
UwU I cwy x3 youw mercy, x3 madam; UwU was >w< it you? 
DUCHESS. ^-^ Was't >_< I? Yea, UwU I >w< it UwU was, OwO pwoud Frenchwoman. 
Could UwU I come nyeaw x3 youw beauty with x3 my nyaiws, 
UwU I couwd uWu set x3 my ;;w;; ten commandments uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; face. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ÚwÚ Sweet uWu aunt, be ^.^ quiet; uWu 'twas OwO against her :33 wiww. 
DUCHESS. ^w^ Against her :33 wiww, ÚwÚ good >_> King? Wook to 't uWu in time; 
OwO She'ww hamper uWu thee ÚwÚ and :33 dandwe uWu thee ^.^ wike :3 a UwU baby. 
;;w;; Though uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 pwace UwU most >_< mastew ^-^ weaw nyo :3 bweeches, 
:33 She UwU shaww nyot strike x3 Dame ;;w;; Eweanyow unweveng'd. uWu Exit 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Lord Cardinal, UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow Eleanor, 
xDD And xDD wisten ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; Humphwey, >w< how ^.^ he proceeds. 
>_> She's tickwed >_< nyow; her ^.^ fume >_< nyeeds nyo ^w^ spuws, 
OwO She'ww uWu gawwop uWu faw enough to her ^.^ destwuction. uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew GWOUCESTEW 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> Nyow, wowds, x3 my ^.^ chowew ^.^ being overblown 
With ^.^ wawking >_> once about x3 the >w< quadwangwe, 
UwU I come to tawk of >_> commonweawth x3 affaiws. 
;;w;; As fow x3 youw xDD spitefuw UwU fawse UwU objections, 
^-^ Pwuv ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and UwU I >_< wie open to x3 the UwU waw; 
OwO But ^w^ God uWu in xDD mewcy UwU so deal with x3 my :3 souw 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu in >_> duty wuv x3 my x3 king ÚwÚ and :33 countwy! 
OwO But to x3 the ;;w;; mattew :3 that ^.^ we uWu have uWu in ÚwÚ hand: 
UwU I say, x3 my sovereign, York >_> is xDD meetest x3 man 
;;w;; To be x3 youw Regent uWu in x3 the weawm of Fwance. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^.^ Befowe ^.^ we >_< make ^w^ ewection, UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave 
;;w;; To x3 show x3 some weason, of nyo xDD wittwe fowce, 
:33 That York >_> is UwU most OwO unmeet of xDD any man. 
:3 YOWK. I'll tell ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ Suffowk, >w< why UwU I ^w^ am OwO unmeet: 
^.^ Fiwst, fow UwU I ;;w;; cannyot flatter uWu thee uWu in >_> pwide; 
uWu Nyext, >_> if UwU I be uWu appointed fow x3 the pwace, 
OwO My Lord of Somerset xDD wiww >_< keep ;;w;; me OwO hewe 
Without dischawge, monyey, ow >_< fuwnyituwe, 
Tiww Fwance be ^.^ won x3 into x3 the ;;w;; Dauphin's ^w^ hands. 
UwU Wast time UwU I UwU danc'd ;;w;; attendance on :33 his xDD wiww 
Tiww Paris UwU was ÚwÚ besieg'd, famish'd, ÚwÚ and :3 wost. 
WARWICK. :33 That ^.^ can UwU I ^w^ witnyess; ÚwÚ and :3 a fouwew ^w^ fact 
Did >_< nyevew traitor uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ wand ;;w;; commit. 
x3 SUFFOWK. uWu Peace, headstrong x3 Wawwick! 
WARWICK. ^w^ Image of pride, >w< why >_> shouwd UwU I howd x3 my peace? 

Entew uWu HOWNyEW, x3 the Awmouwew, ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 man >w< PETEW, guawded 

x3 SUFFOWK. >_< Because OwO hewe >_> is :3 a x3 man ^-^ accus'd of treason: 
>_> Pway ^w^ God x3 the >w< Duke of York UwU excuse >_< himsewf! 
:3 YOWK. ^-^ Doth xDD any one ;;w;; accuse York fow :3 a traitor? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What x3 mean'st UwU thou, ^w^ Suffowk? Teww uWu me, >_> what OwO awe xDD these? 
x3 SUFFOWK. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the x3 man 
:33 That xDD doth ;;w;; accuse :33 his >_< mastew of xDD high treason; 
ÚwÚ His wowds :3 wewe uWu these: :3 that Richard >w< Duke of York 
Was wightfuw heir >w< unto x3 the :3 Engwish :3 cwown, 
xDD And :3 that x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty UwU was >w< an OwO usuwpew. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Say, ^w^ man, :3 wewe these >w< thy xDD wowds? 
>_> HOWNyEW. ;;w;; An't UwU shaww uWu pwease x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, UwU I >_< nyevew uWu said nor xDD thought 
xDD any xDD such :3 mattew. ^w^ God >_> is x3 my ^.^ witnyess, UwU I ^w^ am :3 fawsewy ^-^ accus'd ^.^ by x3 the 
villain. 
^w^ PETEW. [Holding x3 up :33 his :33 hands] ^-^ By these ;;w;; ten xDD bonyes, x3 my wowds, ^.^ he uWu did 
speak them to ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the >_> gawwet one night, >_< as ^.^ we :3 wewe scouring x3 my 
Lord of >w< Yowk's ^-^ awmouw. 
:3 YOWK. >w< Base *teleports behind you* dunghiww viwwain ÚwÚ and :33 mechanyicaw, 
I'll uWu have >w< thy >_> head fow ÚwÚ this >w< thy UwU twaitow's :33 speech. 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw royal ÚwÚ Majesty, 
Let ^.^ him uWu have aww x3 the uWu wigouw of x3 the law. 
HORNER`. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 my uWu wowd, ^w^ hang ;;w;; me >_> if OwO evew UwU I x3 spake x3 the ÚwÚ wowds. OwO My 
xDD accusew >_> is x3 my ^w^ pwentice; ÚwÚ and when UwU I uWu did ^w^ cowwect ^.^ him fow :33 his ;;w;; fauwt 
x3 the othew ^-^ day, ^.^ he uWu did vow ;;w;; upon :33 his knees ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd be even with 
x3 me. UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ good >_> witnyess of >_< this; >_< thewefowe UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw 
ÚwÚ Majesty, UwU do nyot ;;w;; cast OwO away >w< an xDD honyest x3 man fow :3 a >_> viwwain's 
:3 accusation. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> Uncwe, >_> what UwU shaww ^.^ we >_> say to ÚwÚ this uWu in ;;w;; waw? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. This doom, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> if UwU I OwO may >_< judge: 
Let Somerset be Regent ^-^ o'ew x3 the Fwench, 
>_< Because uWu in York ÚwÚ this breeds >w< suspicion; 
xDD And wet these uWu have :3 a day uWu appointed them 
For :3 singwe :33 combat uWu in UwU convenyient pwace, 
For ^.^ he hath >_> witnyess of :33 his servant's xDD mawice. 
This >_> is x3 the waw, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's doom. 
uWu SOMEWSET. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank x3 youw royal >_< Majesty. 
>_> HOWNyEW. xDD And UwU I xDD accept x3 the :33 combat >_< wiwwingwy. 
^w^ PETEW. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot fight; fow >_> God's ^w^ sake, pity x3 my ^w^ case! 
uWu The x3 spite of x3 man pwevaiweth OwO against x3 me. x3 O Wowd, uWu have xDD mewcy ;;w;; upon 
uWu me, UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew be able to >w< fight :3 a bwow! x3 O Wowd, x3 my :33 heawt! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Siwwah, ow xDD you ^w^ must >w< fight ow >_> ewse be xDD hang'd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Away with them to prison; ÚwÚ and x3 the day of :33 combat UwU shaww 
be x3 the >w< wast of x3 the :3 nyext month. 
^.^ Come, ^w^ Somewset, we'll >_> see uWu thee sent xDD away. >w< Fwouwish. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF :3 GWOUCESTEW'S >_< gawden 

Entew OwO MAWGEWY xDD JOUWDAIN, x3 the x3 witch; x3 the >w< two >w< pwiests, :33 HUME ÚwÚ and UwU SOUTHWEWW; 
ÚwÚ and BOLINGBROKE 

>w< HUME. ^.^ Come, x3 my UwU mastews; x3 the ÚwÚ Duchess, UwU I tell UwU you, OwO expects 
:3 pewfowmance of x3 youw ÚwÚ pwomises. 
BOLINGBROKE. >_< Mastew :33 Hume, ^.^ we OwO awe >_< thewefowe provided; xDD wiww her 
>w< wadyship behowd ÚwÚ and hear UwU ouw exorcisms? 
>w< HUME. Ay, >_> what else? Fear xDD you nyot her courage. 
BOLINGBROKE. UwU I uWu have heard her OwO wepowted to be :3 a OwO woman of >w< an 
invincibwe uWu spiwit; >_> but >w< it UwU shaww be ;;w;; convenyient, >_< Mastew :33 Hume, :3 that 
xDD you be ^.^ by her ÚwÚ awoft OwO whiwe ^.^ we be >w< busy below; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I pray xDD you x3 go, 
uWu in >_> God's :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and OwO weave >_> us. ;;w;; [Exit >w< HUME] Mother Jourdain, be xDD you 
x3 pwostwate ÚwÚ and >_< gwuvw on x3 the ^w^ eawth; John Southwell, ^w^ wead uWu you; ÚwÚ and 
wet >_> us to UwU ouw >w< wowk. 

Entew DUCHESS awoft, fowwowed ^.^ by :33 HUME 

DUCHESS. Weww said, x3 my UwU mastews; ÚwÚ and wewcome all. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ this gear, x3 the 
:33 soonyew x3 the ^-^ bettew. 
BOLINGBROKE. >w< Patience, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wady; xDD wizawds ^.^ knyow uWu theiw :33 times: 
Deep night, dark night, x3 the silent of x3 the night, 
uWu The time of >w< nyight when Twoy UwU was uWu set on x3 fiwe; 
uWu The time when screech-owls cwy ÚwÚ and ban-dogs ^.^ howw, 
xDD And ;;w;; spiwits UwU wawk ÚwÚ and ghosts bweak x3 up uWu theiw graves- 
:33 That time best ^w^ fits x3 the ^.^ wowk ^.^ we uWu have uWu in >w< hand. 
uWu Madam, sit UwU you, ÚwÚ and feaw not: ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we >w< waise 
We xDD wiww >_< make ÚwÚ fast within :3 a hawwow'd ^-^ vewge. 

[Here ;;w;; they UwU do x3 the uWu cewemonyies bewonging, ÚwÚ and >_< make x3 the circle; 
BOLINGBROKE ow SOUTHWELL reads: 'Conjuro te,' &c. 
^.^ It :3 thundews ÚwÚ and lightens ^-^ tewwibwy; xDD then x3 the SPIWIT wiseth] 

SPIWIT. >w< Adsum. 
OwO MAWGEWY JOURDAIN. Asmath, 
^-^ By x3 the xDD etewnyaw :33 God, x3 whose xDD nyame ÚwÚ and powew 
^.^ Thou tremblest :3 at, answew :3 that UwU I UwU shaww ;;w;; ask; 
For >w< tiww xDD thou speak xDD thou shalt nyot pass from x3 hence. 
SPIWIT. ;;w;; Ask >_> what xDD thou wilt; :3 that UwU I xDD had uWu said ÚwÚ and ^-^ donye. 
BOLINGBROKE. [Weads] 'First of x3 the uWu king: >_> what UwU shaww of ^.^ him xDD become?' 
SPIWIT. uWu The >w< Duke yet ;;w;; wives :3 that Henwy UwU shaww ^-^ depose; 
OwO But ^.^ him :3 outwive, ÚwÚ and ^-^ die :3 a :3 viowent death. 
xDD [As x3 the SPIWIT speaks, SOUTHWELL >_< wwites x3 the answer] 
BOLINGBROKE. x3 'What ;;w;; fates xDD await x3 the >w< Duke of Suffowk?' 
SPIWIT. ^-^ By UwU watew UwU shaww ^.^ he ^-^ die ÚwÚ and OwO take :33 his OwO end. 
BOLINGBROKE. x3 'What UwU shaww befaww x3 the >w< Duke of uWu Somewset?' 
SPIWIT. Let ^.^ him UwU shun ÚwÚ castwes: 
^-^ Safew UwU shaww ^.^ he be ;;w;; upon x3 the uWu sandy UwU pwains 
Than :3 whewe ^.^ castwes UwU mounted ^.^ stand. 
:3 Have :33 donye, fow ^.^ mowe UwU I hardly ^.^ can enduwe. 
BOLINGBROKE. :33 Descend to >w< dawknyess ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ buwnying wake; 
ÚwÚ Fawse ^.^ fiend, >_< avoid! Thunder ÚwÚ and >_< wightnying. uWu Exit SPIWIT 

Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF 
BUCKINGHAM with guawd, ÚwÚ and bweak uWu in 

:3 YOWK. Way ^.^ hands ;;w;; upon these traitors ÚwÚ and uWu theiw xDD twash. 
^-^ Bewdam, UwU I think ^.^ we UwU watch'd xDD you uWu at >w< an >w< inch. 
What, UwU madam, OwO awe xDD you OwO thewe? uWu The ^w^ King ÚwÚ and >_< commonweaw 
^w^ Awe deepwy ^-^ indebted fow ÚwÚ this ^.^ piece of pains; 
OwO My Lord Protector :33 wiww, UwU I doubt >w< it >_> nyot, 
xDD See xDD you weww >_< guewdon'd fow these ÚwÚ good desewts. 
DUCHESS. ÚwÚ Nyot half UwU so :33 bad >_< as ^.^ thinye to Engwand's OwO king, 
Injurious ;;w;; Duke, :3 that ÚwÚ thweatest where's nyo OwO cause. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_< Twue, UwU madam, >_< nyonye uWu at all. >_> What ^.^ can xDD you :3 this? 
UwU Away with >w< them! wet them be ^-^ cwapp'd x3 up cwose, 
xDD And :33 kept ^w^ asundew. >_< You, UwU madam, UwU shaww with >_> us. 
Stafford, OwO take her to thee. 
^-^ We'ww >_> see x3 youw :33 twinkets OwO hewe aww OwO fowthcoming. 
Aww, away! 
^.^ Exeunt, xDD abuv, DUCHESS ÚwÚ and OwO HUME, ^-^ guawded; bewow, 
xDD WITCH, SOUTHWELL ÚwÚ and BOLINGBROKE, guawded 
:3 YOWK. Lord ;;w;; Buckingham, uWu methinks xDD you UwU watch'd her well. 
^-^ A OwO pwetty >_> pwot, weww OwO chosen to buiwd :33 upon! 
>_> Nyow, pray, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> wet's >_> see x3 the >_> deviw's >w< wwit. 
>_> What uWu have ^.^ we hewe? [Weads] 
'The uWu duke yet ;;w;; wives :3 that Henwy UwU shaww ^-^ depose; 
OwO But ^.^ him :3 outwive, ÚwÚ and ^-^ die :3 a :3 viowent >_< death.' 
Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is >w< just 
>_> 'Aio xDD te, ^w^ Aeacida, :33 Womanyos vincewe ^-^ posse.' 
xDD Weww, to x3 the >_> west: 
'Tell ;;w;; me >_> what fate awaits x3 the >w< Duke of Suffowk?' 
>_< 'By UwU watew UwU shaww ^.^ he ^-^ die ÚwÚ and OwO take :33 his ^w^ end.' 
x3 'What UwU shaww uWu betide x3 the >w< Duke of uWu Somewset?' 
^w^ 'Wet ^.^ him UwU shun :3 castwes; 
^-^ Safew UwU shaww ^.^ he be ;;w;; upon x3 the uWu sandy UwU pwains 
Than :3 whewe ^.^ castwes UwU mounted stand.' 
^.^ Come, come, x3 my :3 wowds; 
;;w;; These oracles OwO awe hardly ;;w;; attain'd, 
xDD And hardly ;;w;; undewstood. 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> is nyow uWu in ^w^ pwogwess uWu towawds Saint >_> Awbans, 
With ^.^ him x3 the :33 husband of ÚwÚ this lovely ;;w;; wady; 
Thither OwO go these nyews >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as UwU howse ^.^ can carry OwO them- 
^-^ A sowwy OwO bweakfast fow x3 my Lord UwU Pwotectow. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. uWu Youw Gwace UwU shaww UwU give ;;w;; me weave, x3 my Lord of York, 
;;w;; To be x3 the ÚwÚ post, uWu in UwU hope of :33 his ÚwÚ wewawd. 
:3 YOWK. At x3 youw x3 pweasuwe, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
Who's within thewe, ho? 

Entew :3 a uWu sewving-man 

x3 Invite x3 my Lords of uWu Sawisbuwy ÚwÚ and Wawwick 
;;w;; To UwU sup with ;;w;; me to-mowwow OwO nyight. >_> Away! Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Saint Awbans 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, xDD QUEEN, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, CARDINAL, ÚwÚ and x3 SUFFOWK, 
with :3 Fawconyews halloing 

QUEEN. :3 Bewieve uWu me, wowds, fow uWu fwying uWu at x3 the ÚwÚ bwook, 
UwU I saw nyot xDD bettew spowt these ÚwÚ seven >_> yeaws' uWu day; 
Yet, ^.^ by x3 youw weave, x3 the wind UwU was xDD vewy UwU high, 
xDD And ;;w;; ten to one ;;w;; owd UwU Joan xDD had nyot >_> gonye OwO out. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO But >_> what :3 a UwU point, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 youw fawcon made, 
xDD And >_> what :3 a ^w^ pitch ^.^ she flew :33 abuv x3 the west! 
;;w;; To >_> see >w< how ^w^ God uWu in aww ÚwÚ His ^-^ cweatuwes wowks! 
Yea, x3 man ÚwÚ and xDD biwds OwO awe >_> fain of ^-^ cwimbing xDD high. 
x3 SUFFOWK. No marvel, >w< an >w< it ^.^ wike x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, 
OwO My Lord Protector's hawks UwU do tow'w UwU so well; 
^-^ They ^.^ knyow uWu theiw >_< mastew loves to be awoft, 
xDD And bears :33 his >_< thoughts :33 abuv :33 his >_< fawcon's uWu pitch. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU 'tis >_> but :3 a UwU base ignoble ^-^ mind 
:33 That ^-^ mounts nyo :3 highew than :3 a biwd ^.^ can ^.^ soaw. 
CARDINAL. UwU I xDD thought >_< as >_> much; ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd be :33 abuv x3 the x3 cwouds. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Ay, x3 my ;;w;; wowd Cardinal, >w< how think xDD you ^.^ by ^-^ that? 
^.^ Wewe >w< it nyot ÚwÚ good x3 youw Gwace couwd fwy to UwU heaven? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu The tweasuwy of everlasting >_< joy! 
CARDINAL. x3 Thy heaven >_> is on ^w^ eawth; ^.^ thinye eyes ÚwÚ and >_< thoughts 
uWu Beat on :3 a :3 cwown, x3 the treasure of >w< thy heawt; 
Pernicious ;;w;; Pwotectow, uWu dangewous peer, 
:33 That ÚwÚ smooth'st >w< it UwU so with ^w^ King ÚwÚ and >_> commonweaw. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. What, Cardinal, >_> is x3 youw xDD pwiesthood grown pewemptowy? 
Tantaenye :33 anyimis >_< coewestibus iwae? 
Chuwchmen UwU so :33 hot? ^-^ Good uWu uncwe, hide xDD such malice; 
With xDD such howinyess ^.^ can xDD you UwU do :33 it? 
x3 SUFFOWK. No x3 mawice, siw; nyo ^.^ mowe than weww x3 becomes 
^w^ So ÚwÚ good :3 a ^-^ quawwew ÚwÚ and UwU so :33 bad :3 a peer. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; As who, x3 my xDD wowd? 
x3 SUFFOWK. Why, >_< as UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; An't ^.^ wike x3 youw >_> wowdwy Lord's Protectorship. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Why, ^.^ Suffowk, England xDD knyows ^.^ thinye UwU insowence. 
QUEEN. xDD And >w< thy ambition, ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ÚwÚ peace, 
^-^ Good :3 Queen, ÚwÚ and ^w^ whet nyot on these ÚwÚ fuwious UwU peews; 
For blessed OwO awe x3 the :3 peacemakews on ;;w;; eawth. 
CARDINAL. Let ;;w;; me be blessed fow x3 the uWu peace UwU I >_< make 
^w^ Against ÚwÚ this OwO pwoud Protector with x3 my swowd! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ [Aside to ^.^ CAWDINyAW] Faith, >w< howy uWu uncwe, ^.^ wouwd >w< 'twewe 
come to >_< that! 
CARDINAL. ^-^ [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] OwO Mawwy, when xDD thou dar'st. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ [Aside to ^.^ CAWDINyAW] ^-^ Make x3 up nyo uWu factious xDD nyumbews fow x3 the 
mattew; 
^w^ In ^.^ thinye UwU own ÚwÚ pewson answew >w< thy ^-^ abuse. 
CARDINAL. ^-^ [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] Ay, :3 whewe xDD thou ^w^ daw'st nyot :33 peep; >w< an 
>_> if xDD thou uWu daw'st, 
This x3 evenying on x3 the uWu east x3 side of x3 the ^-^ gwuv. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How now, x3 my lords! 
CARDINAL. :3 Bewieve uWu me, xDD cousin :33 Gwoucestew, 
xDD Had nyot x3 youw x3 man put x3 up x3 the fowl UwU so suddenly, 
We xDD had xDD had ^.^ mowe ;;w;; spowt. ^-^ [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] :3 Come with >w< thy 
two-hand ^-^ swowd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_< Twue, uncle. 
CARDINAL. ^-^ [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] ^w^ Awe OwO ye :33 advis'd? uWu The uWu east x3 side of 
x3 the ^w^ gwuv? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ [Aside to ^.^ CAWDINyAW] Cardinal, UwU I ^w^ am with OwO you. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Why, >w< how now, :33 uncwe :33 Gwoucestew! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ Tawking of xDD hawking; >_< nyothing else, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^-^ [Aside to ^.^ CAWDINyAW] >_> Nyow, ^.^ by >_> God's uWu Mothew, ;;w;; pwiest, 
I'll >w< shave x3 youw >_< cwown fow uWu this, 
:33 Ow aww x3 my ;;w;; fence UwU shaww >_< faiw. 
CARDINAL. ^-^ [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] :33 Medice, :3 teipsum; 
;;w;; Pwotectow, >_> see uWu to't well; x3 pwotect OwO youwsewf. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu The >_< winds gwow ÚwÚ high; UwU so UwU do x3 youw :3 stomachs, lords. 
How :33 iwksome >_> is ÚwÚ this uWu music to x3 my :33 heawt! 
x3 When xDD such xDD stwings :33 jaw, >_> what UwU hope of >w< hawmony? 
UwU I pray, x3 my wowds, wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ compound ÚwÚ this x3 stwife. 

Entew :3 a :33 TOWNSMAN of Saint >_> Awbans, :3 cwying >_> 'A :3 miwacwe!' 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> What means ÚwÚ this ^w^ nyoise? 
ÚwÚ Fewwow, >_> what :33 miwacwe dost xDD thou >_> pwocwaim? 
*blushes* TOWNSMAN. ^-^ A miracle! ^-^ A miracle! 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 Come to x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him >_> what miracle. 
*blushes* TOWNSMAN. Forsooth, :3 a ^w^ bwind x3 man uWu at Saint Awbans ^.^ shwinye 
OwO Within ÚwÚ this half >_> houw hath weceiv'd :33 his sight; 
^-^ A x3 man :3 that ^w^ nye'ew saw uWu in :33 his >w< wife befowe. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Now ^w^ God be UwU pwais'd :3 that to believing >w< souws 
>w< Gives >w< wight uWu in ^-^ dawknyess, uWu comfowt uWu in UwU despaiw! 

Entew x3 the >_< MAYOW ÚwÚ OF SAINT ;;w;; AWBANS ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU bwethwen, 
:33 beawing uWu Simpcox ^-^ between >w< two uWu in :3 a >_< chaiw; 
:33 his uWu WIFE ÚwÚ and :3 a ^.^ muwtitude fowwowing 

CARDINAL. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the xDD townsmen on ;;w;; pwocession 
;;w;; To xDD pwesent x3 youw >_> Highnyess with x3 the man. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Gweat >_> is :33 his uWu comfowt uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ eawthwy :3 vawe, 
Awthough ^.^ by :33 his ^.^ sight :33 his x3 sin be multiplied. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; Stand UwU by, x3 my UwU mastews; ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him nyeaw x3 the uWu King; 
ÚwÚ His Highness' :3 pweasuwe >_> is to tawk with ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ Good fewwow, tell >_> us OwO hewe x3 the ciwcumstance, 
:33 That ^.^ we fow uWu thee OwO may gwowify x3 the Lord. 
What, x3 hast xDD thou :33 been ^-^ wong ^w^ bwind ÚwÚ and nyow restor'd? 
:33 SIMPCOX. x3 Bown ÚwÚ bwind, UwU an't uWu pwease x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
^.^ WIFE. uWu Ay ÚwÚ indeed UwU was he. 
x3 SUFFOWK. >_> What OwO woman >_> is :3 this? 
^.^ WIFE. ÚwÚ His :3 wife, UwU an't ^.^ wike x3 youw UwU wowship. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Hadst xDD thou :33 been :33 his :33 mothew, xDD thou ^w^ couwdst uWu have xDD bettew 
uWu towd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Whewe OwO wewt xDD thou ^.^ bown? 
:33 SIMPCOX. At ;;w;; Bewwick uWu in x3 the :33 nyowth, UwU an't ^.^ wike x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO Poow x3 souw, >_> God's xDD goodnyess hath :33 been great to thee. 
Let >_< nyevew day nor >w< nyight :33 unhawwowed pass, 
OwO But still remember >_> what x3 the Lord hath ^-^ donye. 
QUEEN. Teww uWu me, ÚwÚ good fewwow, xDD cam'st xDD thou OwO hewe ^.^ by chance, 
:33 Ow of devotion, to ÚwÚ this >w< howy shrine? 
:33 SIMPCOX. ^w^ God ;;w;; knyows, of puwe :3 devotion; ^.^ being ^w^ caww'd 
^-^ A :3 hundwed times ÚwÚ and oft'ner, uWu in x3 my sweep, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ good Saint ^w^ Awban, who uWu said ^w^ 'Simpcox, come, 
^.^ Come, offer uWu at x3 my shwinye, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww OwO hewp thee.' 
^.^ WIFE. :3 Most ^-^ twue, forsooth; ÚwÚ and UwU many time ÚwÚ and ;;w;; oft 
xDD Mysewf uWu have heard :3 a uWu voice to caww ^.^ him :3 so. 
CARDINAL. What, awt xDD thou ^.^ wame? 
:33 SIMPCOX. Ay, ^w^ God ^w^ Awmighty OwO hewp me! 
x3 SUFFOWK. How xDD cam'st xDD thou so? 
:33 SIMPCOX. ^-^ A faww x3 off of :3 a :33 twee. 
^.^ WIFE. ^-^ A uWu pwum tree, master. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. How ^-^ wong x3 hast xDD thou :33 been >w< bwind? 
:33 SIMPCOX. >_< O, bown >_> so, x3 mastew! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. What, ÚwÚ and wouldst x3 cwimb :3 a tree? 
:33 SIMPCOX. OwO But :3 that uWu in aww x3 my :3 wife, when UwU I UwU was :3 a >_< youth. 
^.^ WIFE. Too true; ÚwÚ and xDD bought :33 his ^-^ cwimbing xDD vewy deaw. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Mass, xDD thou wov'dst plums weww, :3 that wouldst venture :3 so. 
:33 SIMPCOX. ÚwÚ Awas, ÚwÚ good ^.^ mastew, x3 my >w< wife desir'd x3 some damsons 
xDD And UwU made ;;w;; me cwimb, With danger of x3 my life. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ A >_> subtwe uWu knyave! OwO But yet >w< it UwU shaww nyot sewve: 
Let ;;w;; me >_> see ^.^ thinye eyes; >_> wink >_< nyow; nyow open OwO them; 
^w^ In x3 my opinyion yet xDD thou seest nyot well. 
:33 SIMPCOX. Yes, ^.^ mastew, ^-^ cweaw >_< as ^-^ day, UwU I >_> thank ^w^ God ÚwÚ and Saint ^.^ Awban. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 Say'st xDD thou ;;w;; me so? >_> What colour >_> is ÚwÚ this uWu cwoak UwU of? 
:33 SIMPCOX. :33 Wed, mastew; red >_< as blood. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Why, ^w^ that's weww UwU said. >_> What colour >_> is x3 my ÚwÚ gown UwU of? 
:33 SIMPCOX. Black, forsooth; coal-black >_< as jet. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Why, >w< then, xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st >_> what colour jet >_> is UwU of? 
x3 SUFFOWK. xDD And ^w^ yet, UwU I >_< think, jet uWu did ^.^ he >_< nyevew ^-^ see. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO But OwO cwoaks ÚwÚ and ^.^ gowns >w< befowe ÚwÚ this day :3 a many. 
^.^ WIFE. xDD Nyevew >w< befowe ÚwÚ this day uWu in aww :33 his life. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Teww uWu me, sirrah, UwU what's x3 my :3 nyame? 
:33 SIMPCOX. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ mastew, UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 What's :33 his :3 nyame? 
:33 SIMPCOX. UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 Nyow ^w^ his? 
:33 SIMPCOX. :3 Nyo, :33 indeed, master. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 What's ^.^ thinye UwU own :3 nyame? 
:33 SIMPCOX. Saunder >w< Simpcox, >w< an >_> if >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, master. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Then, Saunder, sit thewe, x3 the >w< wying'st x3 knyave uWu in 
Chwistendom. ;;w;; If xDD thou >w< hadst :33 been bown ÚwÚ bwind, xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst >_< as weww 
uWu have ÚwÚ knyown aww UwU ouw nyames >_< as OwO thus to xDD nyame x3 the sevewaw cowouws ^.^ we 
UwU do weaw. :3 Sight OwO may distinguish of OwO cowouws; >_> but ;;w;; suddenwy to 
nominate them all, >w< it >_> is >_> impossibwe. OwO My wowds, Saint ^.^ Awban OwO hewe 
hath donye :3 a miracle; ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd OwO ye nyot think :33 his x3 cunnying to be 
great :3 that couwd restore ÚwÚ this ;;w;; cwippwe to :33 his UwU wegs ^w^ again? 
:33 SIMPCOX. x3 O ^.^ mastew, :3 that xDD you UwU couwd! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My >w< mastews of Saint >_> Awbans, uWu have xDD you nyot ^.^ beadwes uWu in 
x3 youw xDD town, ÚwÚ and ^.^ things ^w^ caww'd x3 whips? 
;;w;; MAYOW. Yes, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> if >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Then >_> send fow one presently. 
;;w;; MAYOW. Siwwah, OwO go :3 fetch x3 the beadwe ÚwÚ hithew stwaight. 
uWu Exit >w< an x3 attendant 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Now :3 fetch ;;w;; me :3 a :33 stoow ÚwÚ hithew ^.^ by ÚwÚ and by. :3 [A :33 stoow 
bwought] >_> Nyow, sirrah, >_> if xDD you >_> mean to :3 save >_> youwsewf from UwU whipping, 
^-^ weap ;;w;; me uvw ÚwÚ this :33 stoow ÚwÚ and >w< wun xDD away. 
:33 SIMPCOX. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ mastew, UwU I ^w^ am nyot able to stand awonye! 
>_> You OwO go about to towtuwe ;;w;; me uWu in OwO vain. 

Entew :3 a BEADLE with OwO whips 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we ^w^ must uWu have xDD you find x3 youw wegs. 
^w^ Siwwah beadwe, whip ^.^ him >w< tiww ^.^ he ^-^ weap uvw :3 that same stoow. 
BEADLE. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. :3 Come ;;w;; on, siwwah; x3 off with x3 youw ^w^ doubwet 
>w< quickwy. 
:33 SIMPCOX. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ mastew, >_> what UwU shaww UwU I ^-^ do? UwU I ^w^ am nyot able to ^.^ stand. 

>w< Aftew x3 the BEADLE hath ;;w;; hit ^.^ him ^w^ once, ^.^ he weaps uvw 
x3 the :33 stoow ÚwÚ and wuns :3 away; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they ;;w;; fowwow ÚwÚ and cwy 
>_> 'A :3 miwacwe!' 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 O :33 God, seest ^.^ Thou uWu this, ÚwÚ and beawest UwU so long? 
QUEEN. ^.^ It UwU made ;;w;; me laugh to >_> see x3 the viwwain wun. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Follow x3 the ^-^ knyave, ÚwÚ and OwO take ÚwÚ this dwab xDD away. 
^.^ WIFE. ÚwÚ Awas, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we uWu did >w< it fow puwe UwU nyeed! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Let them be whipp'd ^w^ thwough every xDD mawket :33 town >w< tiww ;;w;; they 
come to Bewwick, from >_> whence ;;w;; they >_< came. 
Exeunt x3 MAYOW, ÚwÚ BEADWE, x3 WIFE, &c. 
CARDINAL. >w< Duke Humphrey >_> has donye :3 a :33 miwacwe ^w^ to-day. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^w^ Twue; UwU made x3 the :3 wame to ^-^ weap ÚwÚ and fwy xDD away. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO But xDD you uWu have donye ^.^ mowe miracles than ^.^ I: 
>_> You UwU made uWu in :3 a ^-^ day, x3 my uWu wowd, whole UwU towns to fwy. 

Entew BUCKINGHAM 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What UwU tidings with UwU ouw xDD cousin Buckingham? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >w< Such >_< as x3 my >_< heawt xDD doth :3 twembwe to unfold: 
^-^ A ;;w;; sowt of naughty OwO pewsons, UwU wewdwy xDD bent, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the >_< countenyance ÚwÚ and confederacy 
Of xDD Wady Eleanor, x3 the Protector's :3 wife, 
uWu The xDD wingweadew ÚwÚ and >_> head of aww ÚwÚ this >_> wout, 
:3 Have ÚwÚ pwactis'd ÚwÚ dangewouswy OwO against x3 youw state, 
^-^ Deawing with :3 witches ÚwÚ and with :3 conjuwews, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ we uWu have apprehended uWu in x3 the fact, 
>w< Waising x3 up wicked ;;w;; spiwits from :33 undew ground, 
>w< Demanding of ^w^ King >_> Henwy's >w< wife ÚwÚ and :33 death 
xDD And othew of x3 youw Highness' :3 Pwivy ^w^ Counciw, 
;;w;; As ^.^ mowe uWu at large x3 youw Gwace UwU shaww :33 undewstand. 
CARDINAL. xDD And >_> so, x3 my Lord ;;w;; Pwotectow, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this means 
uWu Youw uWu wady >_> is ÚwÚ fowthcoming yet uWu at OwO Wondon. 
This news, UwU I >_< think, hath >_> tuwn'd x3 youw xDD weapon's UwU edge; 
'Tis :3 wike, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you xDD wiww nyot >_< keep x3 youw hour. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Ambitious OwO chuwchman, OwO weave to UwU affwict x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
OwO Sowwow ÚwÚ and grief uWu have >_< vanquish'd aww x3 my powews; 
^.^ And, >_< vanquish'd >_< as UwU I am, UwU I yield to x3 the 
:33 Ow to x3 the meanyest groom. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 O :33 God, >_> what >w< mischiefs ^.^ wowk x3 the wicked onyes, 
Heaping :3 confusion on uWu theiw UwU own heads theweby! 
QUEEN. :33 Gwoucestew, >_> see OwO hewe x3 the >w< taintuwe of >w< thy nyest; 
xDD And wook >w< thysewf be >_> fauwtwess, xDD thou OwO wewt >_> best. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Madam, fow myself, to heaven UwU I UwU do appeaw 
How UwU I uWu have :3 wov'd x3 my ^w^ King ÚwÚ and commonweaw; 
xDD And fow x3 my >w< wife UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how >w< it ^w^ stands. 
Sowwy UwU I ^w^ am to hear >_> what UwU I uWu have heawd. 
Noble ^.^ she is; >_> but >_> if ^.^ she uWu have fowgot 
xDD Honyouw ÚwÚ and virtue, ÚwÚ and convers'd with xDD such 
As, ^.^ wike to uWu pitch, ^.^ defiwe nobility, 
UwU I banyish her x3 my x3 bed ÚwÚ and >_< company 
xDD And UwU give her >_< as :3 a prey to law ÚwÚ and UwU shame, 
:33 That hath ^-^ dishonyouwed :3 Gwoucestew's xDD honyest nyame. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD Weww, fow ÚwÚ this >w< nyight ^.^ we xDD wiww wepose >_> us hewe. 
>_< To-mowwow toward ;;w;; Wondon back again 
;;w;; To wook x3 into ÚwÚ this business thowoughwy 
xDD And caww these fouw offenders to uWu theiw answers, 
xDD And ^.^ poise x3 the cause uWu in UwU justice' equal :33 scawes, 
>_< Whose ^.^ beam >w< stands x3 suwe, x3 whose wightfuw cause pwevaiws. 
>w< Fwouwish. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YOWK'S >_< gawden 

Entew YORK, >_< SAWISBUWY, ÚwÚ and ^w^ WAWWICK 

:3 YOWK. >_> Nyow, x3 my ÚwÚ good Lords of uWu Sawisbuwy ÚwÚ and Wawwick, 
Our :33 simpwe OwO suppew ended, UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this ^-^ cwose UwU wawk to satisfy mysewf 
^w^ In UwU cwaving x3 youw opinyion of x3 my OwO tide, 
>_< Which >_> is OwO infawwibwe, to Engwand's crown. 
SAWISBUWY. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^-^ wong to hear >w< it uWu at ^w^ fuww. 
WARWICK. ÚwÚ Sweet York, begin; ÚwÚ and >_> if >w< thy >_< cwaim be UwU good, 
uWu The ^w^ Nyeviws OwO awe >w< thy subjects to >_> command. 
:3 YOWK. UwU Then thus: 
Edward x3 the Third, x3 my wowds, xDD had ÚwÚ seven sons; 
uWu The ÚwÚ fiwst, Edward x3 the ;;w;; Bwack >_< Pwince, Prince of >w< Wawes; 
uWu The xDD second, ;;w;; Wiwwiam of ÚwÚ Hatfiewd; ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO thiwd, 
Wionyew >w< Duke of Cwawence; :3 nyext to ÚwÚ whom 
Was John of Gaunt, x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Wancastew; 
uWu The :3 fifth UwU was Edmund uWu Wangwey, >w< Duke of Yowk; 
uWu The uWu sixth UwU was Thomas of >_< Woodstock, >w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew; 
;;w;; Wiwwiam of ^-^ Windsow UwU was x3 the ÚwÚ seventh ÚwÚ and last. 
Edward x3 the ;;w;; Bwack Prince >w< died >w< befowe :33 his >w< fathew 
xDD And left x3 behind ^.^ him ^.^ Wichawd, :33 his >w< onwy x3 son, 
UwU Who, ÚwÚ aftew Edward x3 the Thiwd's UwU death, x3 weign'd >_< as x3 king 
Tiww Henwy ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, >w< Duke of Lancaster, 
uWu The eldest >_< son ÚwÚ and heir of John of Gaunt, 
Cwown'd ^.^ by x3 the xDD nyame of Henwy x3 the >_> Fouwth, 
x3 Seiz'd on x3 the ^w^ weawm, :3 depos'd x3 the wightfuw OwO king, 
:3 Sent :33 his poor >_< queen to >_< Fwance, from >_> whence ^.^ she >_< came. 
xDD And ^.^ him to :3 Pomfwet, where, >_< as aww xDD you knyow, 
Harmless Richard UwU was murdered >_> twaitowouswy. 
WARWICK. :3 Fathew, x3 the >w< Duke hath told x3 the truth; 
^-^ Thus ^w^ got x3 the ;;w;; house of :3 Wancastew x3 the crown. 
:3 YOWK. >_< Which nyow ;;w;; they howd ^.^ by fowce, ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ by right; 
For ^.^ Wichawd, x3 the xDD fiwst ÚwÚ son's heiw, ^.^ being >_< dead, 
uWu The x3 issue of x3 the :3 nyext >_< son >_> shouwd uWu have ^w^ weign'd. 
SAWISBUWY. OwO But ;;w;; Wiwwiam of Hatfiewd >w< died ^-^ without >w< an ÚwÚ heiw. 
:3 YOWK. uWu The thiwd x3 son, >w< Duke of >w< Cwawence, from x3 whose winye 
UwU I >_< cwaim x3 the :3 cwown, xDD had x3 issue UwU Phiwippe, :3 a ^w^ daughtew, 
Who mawwied Edmund Mortimer, ^-^ Eaww of ^.^ Mawch; 
Edmund xDD had ^w^ issue, Wogew ^-^ Eaww of ^.^ Mawch; 
Wogew xDD had ^w^ issue, :3 Edmund, ÚwÚ Annye, ÚwÚ and Eleanor. 
SAWISBUWY. This :3 Edmund, uWu in x3 the OwO weign of ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have wead, laid >_< cwaim >w< unto x3 the >_< cwown; 
^.^ And, >_> but fow OwO Owen OwO Gwendowew, xDD had :33 been OwO king, 
Who :33 kept ^.^ him uWu in :33 captivity >w< tiww ^.^ he ÚwÚ died. 
But, to x3 the rest. 
:3 YOWK. ÚwÚ His eldest ^-^ sistew, ÚwÚ Annye, 
OwO My :33 mothew, ^.^ being heir >w< unto x3 the :3 cwown, 
uWu Mawwied Richard ^-^ Eaww of OwO Cambwidge, who UwU was 
;;w;; To Edmund uWu Wangwey, Edward x3 the Thiwd's :3 fifth x3 son, OwO son. 
^-^ By her UwU I >_< cwaim x3 the >_< kingdom: ^.^ she UwU was heir 
;;w;; To Wogew ^-^ Eaww of March, who UwU was x3 the >_< son 
Of Edmund Mortimer, who mawwied UwU Phiwippe, 
Sole daughter >w< unto Wionyew >w< Duke of Cwawence; 
So, >_> if x3 the x3 issue of x3 the :33 ewdew >_< son 
^w^ Succeed >w< befowe x3 the younger, UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; King. 
WARWICK. >_> What uWu pwain proceedings >_> is ^.^ mowe uWu pwain than :3 this? 
Henwy xDD doth >_< cwaim x3 the >_< cwown from John of Gaunt, 
uWu The :3 fouwth son: York claims >w< it from x3 the third. 
Tiww Wionyew's x3 issue ÚwÚ faiws, :33 his >_> shouwd nyot reign. 
^.^ It >_< faiws nyot ^w^ yet, >_> but fwouwishes uWu in uWu thee 
xDD And uWu in >w< thy sons, >w< faiw slips of xDD such :3 a :3 stock. 
Then, >w< fathew >_> Sawisbuwy, ^w^ knyeew ^.^ we together, 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this >_> pwivate :3 pwot be ^.^ we x3 the xDD fiwst 
:33 That UwU shaww OwO sawute UwU ouw wightfuw suvweign 
With honour of :33 his ÚwÚ biwthwight to x3 the crown. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. OwO Wong ^w^ wive UwU ouw suvweign ^.^ Wichawd, Engwand's King! 
:3 YOWK. We >_> thank UwU you, lords. OwO But UwU I ^w^ am nyot x3 youw x3 king 
Tiww UwU I be cwown'd, ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 my xDD swowd be x3 stain'd 
With ^w^ heawt-bwood of x3 the ;;w;; house of ^-^ Wancastew; 
xDD And ^w^ that's nyot ;;w;; suddenwy to be pewfowm'd, 
OwO But with advice ÚwÚ and silent >w< secwecy. 
Do xDD you >_< as UwU I UwU do uWu in these uWu dangewous ^.^ days: 
>_> Wink uWu at x3 the >w< Duke of Suffolk's ÚwÚ insowence, 
At Beaufowt's pride, uWu at Somewset's ambition, 
At ;;w;; Buckingham, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the cwew of ÚwÚ them, 
Tiww ;;w;; they uWu have snar'd x3 the xDD shephewd of x3 the UwU fwock, 
:33 That virtuous >_< pwince, x3 the ÚwÚ good >w< Duke Humphrey; 
'Tis :3 that ;;w;; they seek; ÚwÚ and >w< they, uWu in UwU seeking :3 that, 
Shall find uWu theiw UwU deaths, >_> if York ^.^ can prophesy. 
SAWISBUWY. OwO My uWu wowd, bweak ^.^ we :33 off; ^.^ we ^.^ knyow x3 youw ^-^ mind uWu at ^w^ fuww. 
WARWICK. OwO My >_< heawt xDD assuwes ;;w;; me :3 that x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Wawwick 
Shall one day >_< make x3 the >w< Duke of York :3 a king. 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ And, ÚwÚ Nyeviw, ÚwÚ this UwU I UwU do :33 assuwe myself, 
Richard UwU shaww ^w^ wive to >_< make x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Wawwick 
uWu The ÚwÚ gweatest x3 man uWu in England >_> but x3 the ;;w;; King. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
OwO Wondon. ^-^ A ^-^ haww of justice 

Sound x3 twumpets. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and >w< State: x3 the xDD QUEEN, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, YORK, 
x3 SUFFOWK, ÚwÚ and >_< SAWISBUWY, with guawd, to banyish x3 the DUCHESS. OwO Entew, >w< guawded, 
x3 the DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, OwO MAWGEWY xDD JOUWDAIN, OwO HUME, SOUTHWEWW, ÚwÚ and BOLINGBROKE 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; Stand ^-^ fowth, x3 Dame ;;w;; Eweanyow ÚwÚ Cobham, :3 Gwoucestew's xDD wife: 
^w^ In ^.^ sight of ^w^ God ÚwÚ and us, x3 youw guilt >_> is gweat; 
Receive x3 the :33 sentence of x3 the law fow :3 sins 
>w< Such >_< as ^.^ by >_> God's ^w^ book OwO awe ^w^ adjudg'd to death. 
>_> You >w< fouw, from >w< hence to :3 pwison back again; 
Fwom thence >w< unto x3 the :33 pwace of UwU execution: 
uWu The >w< witch uWu in Smithfiewd UwU shaww be burnt to :3 ashes, 
xDD And xDD you >w< thwee UwU shaww be xDD stwangwed on x3 the >_> gawwows. 
>_< You, UwU madam, fow xDD you OwO awe ^.^ mowe ;;w;; nyobwy born, 
Despoiwed of x3 youw honour uWu in x3 youw :3 wife, 
Shaww, ÚwÚ aftew >w< thwee >_> days' open >_< penyance :33 donye, 
Wive uWu in x3 youw countwy OwO hewe uWu in UwU banyishment 
With Sir John Stanwey uWu in x3 the >_> Iswe of uWu Man. 
DUCHESS. Welcome >_> is ;;w;; banyishment; wewcome :3 wewe x3 my death. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Eleanor, x3 the waw, xDD thou >_< seest, hath judged thee. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot justify ÚwÚ whom x3 the law uWu condemns. 
Exeunt x3 the DUCHESS ÚwÚ and x3 the othew pwisonyews, guawded 
Mine eyes OwO awe full of ^-^ teaws, x3 my >_< heawt of ÚwÚ gwief. 
xDD Ah, ;;w;; Humphwey, ÚwÚ this x3 dishonyouw uWu in ^.^ thinye age 
Will ;;w;; bwing >w< thy >_> head with sorrow to x3 the ^-^ gwound! 
UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to go; 
OwO Sowwow ^.^ wouwd xDD sowace, ÚwÚ and >_< minye age ^.^ wouwd ^w^ ease. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Stay, Humphrey >w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew; ere xDD thou x3 go, 
Give x3 up >w< thy staff; Henwy xDD wiww to >_< himsewf 
Protector be; ÚwÚ and ^w^ God UwU shaww be x3 my hope, 
OwO My ;;w;; stay, x3 my OwO guide, ÚwÚ and lantern to x3 my xDD feet. 
xDD And OwO go uWu in ÚwÚ peace, ;;w;; Humphwey, nyo less ÚwÚ bewov'd 
Than when xDD thou OwO wewt Protector to >w< thy ;;w;; King. 
QUEEN. UwU I >_> see nyo reason >w< why :3 a x3 king of years 
Should be to be >_< pwotected ^.^ wike :3 a :33 chiwd. 
^w^ God ÚwÚ and ^w^ King Henwy >_< guvwn Engwand's weawm! 
Give x3 up x3 youw staff, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ King :33 his weawm. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My x3 staff! Here, x3 nyobwe Henry, >_> is x3 my ÚwÚ staff. 
;;w;; As ^w^ wiwwingwy UwU do UwU I x3 the same resign 
;;w;; As ere >w< thy >w< fathew Henwy UwU made >w< it minye; 
xDD And even >_< as ^w^ wiwwingwy uWu at >w< thy ;;w;; feet UwU I OwO weave >w< it 
;;w;; As ;;w;; othews ^.^ wouwd x3 ambitiouswy receive :3 it. 
UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good uWu King; when UwU I ^w^ am >_< dead ÚwÚ and >w< gonye, 
^-^ May ^.^ honyouwabwe uWu peace >_< attend >w< thy >_< thwonye! uWu Exit 
QUEEN. Why, nyow >_> is Henwy OwO King, ÚwÚ and Margaret :3 Queen, 
xDD And Humphrey >w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew scawce himsewf, 
:33 That bears UwU so shrewd :3 a ^.^ maim: >w< two ^w^ puwws uWu at >_> once- 
ÚwÚ His uWu wady banyish'd ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 wimb OwO wopp'd off. 
This uWu staff of honour waught, there wet >w< it stand 
Whewe >w< it best ^w^ fits to be, uWu in >_> Henwy's >w< hand. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ Thus uWu dwoops ÚwÚ this wofty pine ÚwÚ and uWu hangs :33 his uWu spways; 
^-^ Thus Eleanor's >_< pwide dies uWu in her xDD youngest days. 
:3 YOWK. ;;w;; Wowds, wet ^.^ him ÚwÚ go. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, 
This >_> is x3 the day uWu appointed fow x3 the combat; 
xDD And ready OwO awe x3 the appellant ÚwÚ and defendant, 
uWu The UwU awmouwew ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ man, to enter x3 the wists, 
^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Highnyess to behowd x3 the ^w^ fight. 
QUEEN. Ay, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowd; fow purposely >_< thewefowe 
Left UwU I x3 the xDD couwt, to >_> see ÚwÚ this ^-^ quawwew :3 twied. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ A >_> God's :33 nyame, >_> see x3 the ^.^ wists ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ things :33 fit; 
:3 Hewe wet them >w< end :33 it, ÚwÚ and ^w^ God ;;w;; defend x3 the wight! 
:3 YOWK. UwU I >_< nyevew saw :3 a fewwow xDD wowse ;;w;; bested, 
:33 Ow ^.^ mowe :33 afwaid to x3 fight, than >_> is x3 the UwU appewwant, 
uWu The xDD sewvant of :33 his ÚwÚ awmouwew, x3 my lords. 

Entew uWu at one door, uWu HOWNyEW, x3 the Awmouwew, ÚwÚ and :33 his 
NEIGHBOURS, UwU dwinking to ^.^ him UwU so much :3 that ^.^ he >_> is 
dwunk; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ;;w;; entews with :3 a drum >w< befowe ^.^ him ÚwÚ and 
:33 his uWu staff with :3 a >w< sand-bag ÚwÚ fastenyed to uWu it; ÚwÚ and uWu at x3 the 
othew doow >w< PETEW, :33 his ^w^ man, with :3 a drum ÚwÚ and sandbag, 
ÚwÚ and PRENTICES UwU dwinking to ^.^ him 

uWu FIWST ÚwÚ NyEIGHBOUW. Here, OwO nyeighbouw Hownyew, UwU I ÚwÚ dwink to xDD you uWu in :3 a >w< cup of 
>_< sack; ÚwÚ and feaw >_> nyot, >w< nyeighbouw, xDD you UwU shaww UwU do weww enyough. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ NyEIGHBOUW. xDD And UwU hewe, >w< nyeighbouw, hewe's :3 a >w< cup of chawnyeco. 
^w^ THIWD ÚwÚ NyEIGHBOUW. xDD And hewe's :3 a >_> pot of ÚwÚ good :3 doubwe beer, neighbour; 
dwink, ÚwÚ and feaw nyot x3 youw man. 
>_> HOWNyEW. Let >w< it come, :33 i' ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ and I'll >_< pwedge xDD you aww; ÚwÚ and :3 a fig 
fow Peter! 
uWu FIWST PRENTICE. Here, Petew, UwU I ÚwÚ dwink to ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and be nyot afraid. 
^w^ SECOND PRENTICE. ^w^ Be >_> mewwy, Petew, ÚwÚ and feaw nyot >w< thy mastew: >w< fight 
fow cwedit of x3 the x3 pwentices. 
^w^ PETEW. UwU I >_> thank xDD you all. Dwink, ÚwÚ and pray fow uWu me, UwU I pray uWu you; fow UwU I 
think UwU I uWu have :33 taken x3 my >w< wast ^w^ dwaught uWu in ÚwÚ this wowwd. Here, Wobin, >w< an 
>_> if UwU I >_> die, UwU I UwU give uWu thee x3 my >_< apwon; x3 and, ^.^ Wiww, xDD thou shalt uWu have x3 my 
>_> hammew; ÚwÚ and UwU hewe, xDD Tom, OwO take aww x3 the monyey :3 that UwU I :3 have. x3 O Lord 
;;w;; bwess uWu me, UwU I pray uWu God! fow UwU I ^w^ am >_< nyevew able to deal with x3 my ^.^ mastew, 
^.^ he hath ^w^ weawnt UwU so much ;;w;; fence >_< awweady. 
SAWISBUWY. ^.^ Come, OwO weave x3 youw UwU dwinking ÚwÚ and faww to ÚwÚ bwows. 
Siwwah, UwU what's >w< thy :3 nyame? 
^w^ PETEW. Petew, ^-^ fowsooth. 
SAWISBUWY. Peter? >_> What UwU mowe? 
^w^ PETEW. >_> Thump. 
SAWISBUWY. Thump? UwU Then >_> see xDD thou ^.^ thump >w< thy >_< mastew well. 
>_> HOWNyEW. Masters, UwU I ^w^ am come hithew, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, ;;w;; upon x3 my :33 man's 
:33 instigation, to ^-^ pwuv ^.^ him :3 a x3 knyave ÚwÚ and mysewf >w< an xDD honyest xDD man; ÚwÚ and 
^-^ touching x3 the >w< Duke of York, UwU I xDD wiww OwO take x3 my :33 death UwU I >_< nyevew meant ^.^ him 
xDD any UwU iww, nor x3 the OwO King, nor x3 the >w< Queen; ÚwÚ and OwO thewefowe, Petew, uWu have 
uWu at uWu thee with :3 a down >w< wight bwow! 
:3 YOWK. Dispatch- ÚwÚ this knave's >_> tongue ÚwÚ begins to ^-^ doubwe. 
x3 Sound, twumpets, OwO awawum to x3 the UwU combatants! 
>_< [Awawum. ^-^ They >w< fight ÚwÚ and ;;w;; PETEW :33 stwikes ^.^ him down] 
>_> HOWNyEW. UwU Howd, Petew, ;;w;; howd! UwU I >_> confess, UwU I x3 confess :3 tweason. 
:33 [Dies] 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ Take OwO away :33 his >_< weapon. ÚwÚ Fewwow, >_> thank :33 God, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ good winye uWu in 
>w< thy xDD mastew's >_> way. 
^w^ PETEW. x3 O :33 God, uWu have UwU I uWu uvwcome >_< minye >_< enyemies uWu in ÚwÚ this presence? x3 O 
Petew, xDD thou x3 hast pwevaiw'd uWu in wight! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ Go, OwO take >w< hence :3 that traitor from UwU ouw UwU sight, 
For ^.^ by :33 his :33 death ^.^ we UwU do >_> pewceive :33 his UwU guiwt; 
xDD And ^w^ God uWu in justice hath reveal'd to >_> us 
uWu The uWu twuth ÚwÚ and innyocence of ÚwÚ this poor fewwow, 
>_< Which ^.^ he xDD had xDD thought to uWu have ^w^ muwdew'd xDD wwongfuwwy. 
^.^ Come, fewwow, ;;w;; fowwow >_> us fow >w< thy ÚwÚ wewawd. 
Sound :3 a UwU fwouwish. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
OwO Wondon. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE HUMPHREY ÚwÚ and :33 his men, uWu in >w< mouwnying OwO cwoaks 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ Thus x3 sometimes hath x3 the >_< bwightest day :3 a cwoud, 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew ^-^ summew evewmowe x3 succeeds 
>_> Bawwen UwU wintew, with :33 his wrathful x3 nyipping xDD cowd; 
^w^ So ÚwÚ cawes ÚwÚ and joys abound, >_< as seasons ;;w;; fweet. 
uWu Siws, UwU what's >_< o'cwock? 
;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. ;;w;; Ten, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Ten >_> is x3 the >_> houw :3 that UwU was uWu appointed ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To ;;w;; watch x3 the xDD coming of x3 my punyish'd :3 duchess. 
OwO Unyeath OwO may ^.^ she OwO enduwe x3 the flinty ^w^ stweets 
;;w;; To ;;w;; twead them with her tender-feeling xDD feet. 
ÚwÚ Sweet Nell, :33 iww ^.^ can >w< thy x3 nyobwe ^-^ mind abrook 
uWu The abject OwO peopwe >_< gazing on >w< thy >w< face, 
With envious looks, x3 waughing uWu at >w< thy UwU shame, 
:33 That erst uWu did ;;w;; fowwow >w< thy OwO pwoud uWu chawiot ^.^ wheews 
x3 When xDD thou :33 didst uWu wide uWu in twiumph ^w^ thwough x3 the stweets. 
But, xDD soft! UwU I think ^.^ she ;;w;; comes, ÚwÚ and I'll >_> pwepawe 
OwO My teaw-stain'd eyes to >_> see her :33 misewies. 

Entew x3 the DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF GWOUCESTEW uWu in :3 a ^-^ white UwU sheet, 
ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD tapew ^.^ buwnying uWu in her uWu hand, with ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN 
STANWEY, x3 the ^w^ SHEWIFF, ÚwÚ and OFFICEWS 

;;w;; SEWVING-MAN. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, we'll OwO take her from x3 the sheriff. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 Nyo, stir nyot fow x3 youw wives; wet her pass by. 
DUCHESS. :3 Come UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, to >_> see x3 my open shame? 
Now xDD thou dost >_< penyance UwU too. Wook >w< how ;;w;; they gaze! 
xDD See >w< how x3 the ^-^ giddy ^.^ muwtitude UwU do :33 point 
xDD And nod uWu theiw heads ÚwÚ and ^-^ thwow uWu theiw eyes on ÚwÚ thee; 
xDD Ah, :33 Gwoucestew, hide uWu thee from uWu theiw hateful looks, 
^.^ And, uWu in >w< thy cwoset x3 pent up, rue x3 my ^-^ shame 
xDD And ban ^.^ thinye UwU enyemies, both >_< minye ÚwÚ and thine! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ Be *giggles shyly* patient, ^-^ gentwe ^w^ Nyeww; x3 fowget ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gwief. 
DUCHESS. xDD Ah, :33 Gwoucestew, >_< teach ;;w;; me to x3 fowget mysewf! 
For whiwst UwU I think UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy mawwied >w< wife 
xDD And xDD thou :3 a >_< pwince, Protector of ÚwÚ this land, 
Methinks UwU I >_> shouwd nyot OwO thus be x3 wed along, 
Maiw'd x3 up uWu in UwU shame, with :33 papews on x3 my back, 
xDD And follow'd with :3 a rabble :3 that rejoice 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 my tears ÚwÚ and hear x3 my deep-fet groans. 
uWu The ;;w;; wuthwess OwO fwint xDD doth :3 cut x3 my xDD tendew ^.^ feet, 
xDD And when UwU I :33 stawt, x3 the envious OwO peopwe laugh 
xDD And bid ;;w;; me be ^w^ advised >w< how UwU I >_< twead. 
xDD Ah, ;;w;; Humphwey, ^.^ can UwU I UwU beaw ÚwÚ this >_> shamefuw OwO yoke? 
uWu Twowest xDD thou :3 that ;;w;; e'ew I'll wook ;;w;; upon x3 the wowwd 
:33 Ow ;;w;; count them ^w^ happy :3 that ^.^ enjoy x3 the UwU sun? 
No; dark UwU shaww be x3 my >w< wight ÚwÚ and >w< nyight x3 my uWu day; 
;;w;; To think ;;w;; upon x3 my pomp UwU shaww be x3 my uWu heww. 
Sometimes I'll >_> say UwU I ^w^ am >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's :3 wife, 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 a >_< pwince, ÚwÚ and ruler of x3 the land; 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU so ^.^ he >w< wuw'd, ÚwÚ and xDD such :3 a >_> pwince ^.^ he UwU was, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he :33 stood ^.^ by whiwst I, :33 his ^.^ fowwown ^-^ duchess, 
Was UwU made :3 a wonder ÚwÚ and :3 a pointing-stock 
;;w;; To every idle wascaw uWu fowwowew. 
OwO But be xDD thou OwO miwd, ÚwÚ and bwush nyot uWu at x3 my UwU shame, 
x3 Nyow stir uWu at >_< nyothing >w< tiww x3 the axe of :33 death 
Hang uvw ÚwÚ thee, >_< as >_< suwe >w< it x3 showtwy :33 wiww. 
For >_> Suffowk- ^.^ he :3 that ^.^ can UwU do aww uWu in aww 
With her :3 that hateth uWu thee ÚwÚ and hates >_> us ;;w;; aww- 
xDD And York, ÚwÚ and OwO impious OwO Beaufowt, :3 that UwU fawse ;;w;; pwiest, 
:3 Have aww ^.^ wim'd >_< bushes to ÚwÚ betway >w< thy wings, 
^.^ And, fwy xDD thou >w< how xDD thou x3 canst, they'ww ÚwÚ tangwe thee. 
OwO But feaw nyot xDD thou ÚwÚ untiw >w< thy :33 foot be snar'd, 
x3 Nyow >_< nyevew >_> seek prevention of >w< thy foes. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD Ah, Nell, fowbeaw! ^.^ Thou ^.^ aimest aww awry. 
UwU I ^w^ must ^-^ offend >w< befowe UwU I be ÚwÚ attainted; 
xDD And xDD had UwU I ÚwÚ twenty times UwU so UwU many ;;w;; foes, 
xDD And >_< each of them xDD had ÚwÚ twenty times uWu theiw x3 powew, 
All these couwd nyot ;;w;; pwocuwe ;;w;; me xDD any ÚwÚ scathe 
^w^ So ^-^ wong >_< as UwU I ^w^ am uWu woyaw, ^-^ twue, ÚwÚ and crimeless. 
Wouldst uWu have ;;w;; me OwO wescue uWu thee from ÚwÚ this reproach? 
Why, yet >w< thy OwO scandaw :3 wewe nyot wip'd away, 
OwO But UwU I uWu in danger fow x3 the ^w^ bweach of law. 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ gweatest OwO hewp >_> is ^w^ quiet, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ Nyeww. 
UwU I pray uWu thee ;;w;; sowt >w< thy >_< heawt to >_> patience; 
;;w;; These x3 few >_> days' wonder xDD wiww be quickly ÚwÚ wown. 

Entew :3 a uWu HEWAWD 

HEWAWD. UwU I ^.^ summon x3 youw Gwace to :33 his :33 Majesty's Pawwiament, 
Holden uWu at ^.^ Buwy x3 the xDD fiwst of ÚwÚ this :3 nyext month. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And x3 my >_< consent ^w^ nye'ew >w< ask'd >w< hewein ;;w;; befowe! 
This >_> is ^-^ cwose UwU deawing. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww be :33 thewe. uWu Exit uWu HEWAWD 
OwO My Nell, UwU I OwO take x3 my weave- x3 and, >_< mastew ^w^ shewiff, 
Let nyot her >_< penyance xDD exceed x3 the >_< King's xDD commission. 
SHERIFF. ;;w;; An't uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, OwO hewe x3 my OwO commission ^-^ stays; 
xDD And Sir John Stanwey >_> is uWu appointed nyow 
;;w;; To OwO take her with ^.^ him to x3 the >_> Iswe of uWu Man. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 Must UwU you, Sir John, x3 pwotect x3 my uWu wady hewe? 
STANWEY. ^w^ So ^w^ am UwU I UwU given uWu in charge, :33 may't uWu pwease x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >w< Entweat her nyot x3 the xDD wowse uWu in :3 that UwU I pray 
>_> You use her well; x3 the wowwd OwO may laugh OwO again, 
xDD And UwU I OwO may ^w^ wive to UwU do xDD you OwO kindnyess >_> if 
>_> You UwU do >w< it her. xDD And >_> so, Sir John, farewell. 
DUCHESS. What, >w< gonye, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and bid ;;w;; me nyot farewell! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Witness x3 my ^-^ teaws, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot xDD stay to >_< speak. 
Exeunt GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and :3 sewvants 
DUCHESS. Awt xDD thou >_> gonye xDD too? All uWu comfowt OwO go with uWu thee! 
For >_< nyonye ^.^ abides with x3 me. OwO My joy >_> is >w< death- 
Death, uWu at x3 whose xDD nyame UwU I ;;w;; oft uWu have :33 been xDD afeawd, 
>_< Because UwU I >w< wish'd ÚwÚ this OwO wowwd's xDD etewnyity. 
^-^ Stanwey, UwU I :33 pwithee x3 go, ÚwÚ and OwO take ;;w;; me OwO hence; 
UwU I :3 cawe nyot whither, fow UwU I ÚwÚ beg nyo favour, 
Onwy :33 convey ;;w;; me :3 whewe xDD thou awt commanded. 
STANWEY. Why, UwU madam, :3 that >_> is to x3 the >_> Iswe of >_< Man, 
>_> Thewe to be ;;w;; us'd accowding to x3 youw state. 
DUCHESS. >w< That's :33 bad UwU enyough, fow UwU I ^w^ am >_> but reproach- 
xDD And UwU shaww UwU I xDD then be ;;w;; us'd wepwoachfuwwy? 
STANWEY. Wike to :3 a duchess ÚwÚ and >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's ;;w;; wady; 
x3 Accowding to :3 that >w< state xDD you UwU shaww be :33 us'd. 
DUCHESS. ÚwÚ Shewiff, farewell, ÚwÚ and xDD bettew than UwU I fawe, 
Awthough xDD thou x3 hast :33 been ÚwÚ conduct of x3 my ;;w;; shame. 
SHERIFF. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my office; x3 and, UwU madam, UwU pawdon x3 me. 
DUCHESS. Ay, :33 ay, faweweww; >w< thy ^.^ office >_> is discharg'd. 
^.^ Come, ^-^ Stanwey, UwU shaww ^.^ we >w< go? 
STANWEY. uWu Madam, x3 youw >_< penyance :33 donye, ^-^ thwow x3 off ÚwÚ this UwU sheet, 
xDD And OwO go ^.^ we to attiwe xDD you fow UwU ouw jouwnyey. 
DUCHESS. OwO My ^-^ shame xDD wiww nyot be >w< shifted with x3 my >_< sheet. 
:3 Nyo, >w< it xDD wiww ^w^ hang ;;w;; upon x3 my wichest ^-^ wobes 
xDD And x3 show itself, attiwe ;;w;; me >w< how UwU I ;;w;; can. 
^w^ Go, lead x3 the way; UwU I ^-^ wong to >_> see x3 my x3 pwison. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The uWu Abbey uWu at ^.^ Buwy St. >_> Edmunds 

Sound :3 a sennet. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, x3 the xDD QUEEN, CARDINAL, x3 SUFFOWK, YORK, 
xDD BUCKINGHAM, >_< SAWISBUWY, ÚwÚ and ^w^ WAWWICK, to x3 the ÚwÚ Pawwiament 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I >_< muse x3 my Lord of uWu Gwoucestew >_> is nyot x3 come. 
'Tis nyot :33 his UwU wont to be x3 the uWu hindmost ^w^ man, 
ÚwÚ Whate'ew ;;w;; occasion keeps ^.^ him from >_> us now. 
QUEEN. UwU Can xDD you nyot see, ow xDD wiww OwO ye nyot uWu obsewve 
uWu The :33 stwangenyess of :33 his awtew'd :33 countenyance? 
With >_> what :3 a ^.^ majesty ^.^ he bears :33 himsewf; 
How UwU insowent of wate ^.^ he >_> is xDD become, 
How :3 pwoud, >w< how pewemptowy, ÚwÚ and ^-^ unwike :33 himsewf? 
We ^.^ knyow x3 the time xDD since ^.^ he UwU was >_< miwd ÚwÚ and >_< affabwe, 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ we uWu did >_> but glance :3 a faw-off wook 
;;w;; Immediatewy ^.^ he UwU was ;;w;; upon :33 his OwO knyee, 
:33 That aww x3 the court ÚwÚ admiw'd ^.^ him fow ;;w;; submission. 
OwO But :3 meet ^.^ him nyow ÚwÚ and be >w< it uWu in x3 the ^-^ mown, 
x3 When every one xDD wiww UwU give x3 the time of ^-^ day, 
>w< He xDD knyits :33 his ^w^ bwow ÚwÚ and >_< shows >w< an angry ^w^ eye 
xDD And ^.^ passeth ^.^ by with OwO stiff :33 unbowed OwO knyee, 
ÚwÚ Disdainying >_> duty :3 that to >_> us ^-^ bewongs. 
>w< Smaww x3 cuws OwO awe nyot :3 wegawded when ;;w;; they grin, 
OwO But great ;;w;; men :3 twembwe when x3 the wion roars, 
xDD And Humphrey >_> is nyo xDD wittwe x3 man uWu in ^w^ Engwand. 
First ^-^ nyote :3 that ^.^ he >_> is nyeaw xDD you uWu in descent, 
xDD And >_> shouwd xDD you faww ^.^ he >_> is x3 the :3 nyext xDD wiww mount; 
x3 Me ;;w;; seemeth, >w< then, >w< it >_> is nyo policy- 
Wespecting >_> what :3 a >_< wancowous ^-^ mind ^.^ he bears, 
xDD And :33 his ^w^ advantage fowwowing x3 youw :33 decease- 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> shouwd come about x3 youw royal ÚwÚ pewson 
:33 Ow be admitted to x3 youw Highness' OwO Counciw. 
^-^ By >w< fwattewy hath ^.^ he ^.^ won x3 the OwO commons' >_> heawts; 
xDD And when ^.^ he uWu pwease to >_< make UwU commotion, 
'Tis to be feaw'd ;;w;; they aww xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him. 
Now UwU 'tis x3 the spring, ÚwÚ and UwU weeds OwO awe UwU shawwow-wooted; 
Suffer them now, ÚwÚ and they'ww o'ewgwow x3 the >_< gawden 
xDD And >_< choke x3 the >w< hewbs fow ^.^ want of husbandwy. 
uWu The reverent :3 cawe UwU I UwU beaw >w< unto x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
Made ;;w;; me ^w^ cowwect these >_> dangews uWu in x3 the uWu Duke. 
;;w;; If >w< it be fond, ^.^ can >w< it :3 a xDD woman's x3 feaw; 
>_< Which feaw >_> if xDD bettew weasons ^.^ can UwU suppwant, 
UwU I xDD wiww xDD subscwibe, ÚwÚ and >_> say UwU I wrong'd x3 the uWu Duke. 
OwO My Lord of ^.^ Suffowk, ;;w;; Buckingham, ÚwÚ and York, 
Wepwuv x3 my allegation >_> if xDD you ^-^ can, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse OwO concwude x3 my wowds effectuaw. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Weww hath x3 youw >_> Highnyess :3 seen x3 into ÚwÚ this duke; 
xDD And xDD had UwU I xDD fiwst :33 been put to speak x3 my UwU mind, 
UwU I think UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have told x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's ^-^ tawe. 
uWu The ÚwÚ Duchess, ^.^ by :33 his ^w^ subownyation, 
>_> Upon x3 my :3 wife, began her deviwish :33 pwactices; 
:33 Ow >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe nyot privy to UwU those fauwts, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ by x3 weputing of :33 his xDD high uWu descent- 
;;w;; As :3 nyext x3 the ^w^ King ^.^ he UwU was ;;w;; successive heir- 
xDD And xDD such xDD high ;;w;; vaunts of :33 his nobility, 
Did uWu instigate x3 the bedlam :33 bwainsick :3 Duchess 
^-^ By wicked means to fwame UwU ouw ^.^ suvweign's UwU faww. 
:3 Smooth wuns x3 the UwU watew :3 whewe x3 the >w< bwook >_> is >w< deep, 
xDD And uWu in :33 his :33 simpwe x3 show ^.^ he ;;w;; hawbouws :3 tweason. 
uWu The fox barks nyot when ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd ^.^ steaw x3 the >w< wamb. 
:3 Nyo, no, x3 my sovereign, uWu Gwoucestew >_> is :3 a x3 man 
>_< Unsounded ^w^ yet, ÚwÚ and full of >_> deep ^.^ deceit. 
CARDINAL. Did ^.^ he >_> nyot, :33 contwawy to >_< fowm of waw, 
ÚwÚ Devise ;;w;; stwange >w< deaths fow UwU smaww :3 offences done? 
:3 YOWK. xDD And uWu did ^.^ he >_> nyot, uWu in :33 his x3 pwotectowship, 
Wevy great uWu sums of monyey ^w^ thwough x3 the weawm 
For :3 sowdiews' x3 pay uWu in >_< Fwance, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew sent :33 it? 
^-^ By means xDD wheweof x3 the UwU towns >_< each day revolted. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Tut, these OwO awe petty :33 fauwts to :33 fauwts unknown 
>_< Which time xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing to >w< wight uWu in x3 smooth >w< Duke :3 Humphwey. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My wowds, uWu at UwU once: x3 the :3 cawe xDD you uWu have of us, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ mow down thorns :3 that ^.^ wouwd ^w^ annyoy UwU ouw xDD foot, 
Is ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ pwaise; >_> but UwU shaww UwU I speak x3 my conscience? 
Our kinsman uWu Gwoucestew >_> is >_< as innocent 
Fwom meaning UwU tweason to UwU ouw royal ÚwÚ pewson 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the x3 sucking :3 wamb ow UwU hawmwess dove: 
uWu The >w< Duke >_> is virtuous, OwO miwd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ too weww UwU given 
;;w;; To dweam on eviw ow to ^.^ wowk x3 my >_> downfaww. 
QUEEN. xDD Ah, UwU what's ^.^ mowe uWu dangewous than ÚwÚ this fond ^w^ affiance? 
x3 Seems ^.^ he :3 a ^w^ duv? ÚwÚ His feathers OwO awe >_> but borrow'd, 
For uWu he's disposed >_< as x3 the hateful raven. 
Is ^.^ he :3 a wamb? ÚwÚ His uWu skin >_> is x3 suwewy OwO went :3 him, 
For uWu he's ^-^ incwin'd >_< as >_> is x3 the ^-^ wavenyous :33 wowf. 
Who ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ steaw :3 a xDD shape :3 that means deceit? 
^.^ Take ^-^ heed, x3 my wowd; x3 the ÚwÚ wewfawe of >_> us aww 
;;w;; Hangs on x3 the >_< cutting showt :3 that fraudful man. 

Entew SOMERSET 

uWu SOMEWSET. All ^.^ heawth >w< unto x3 my >_> gwacious sovereign! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Welcome, Lord ^w^ Somewset. >_> What nyews from France? 
uWu SOMEWSET. :33 That aww x3 youw ÚwÚ intewest uWu in UwU those ÚwÚ tewwitowies 
Is ;;w;; uttewwy >_> beweft uWu you; aww >_> is :3 wost. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 Cowd news, Lord :3 Somewset; >_> but >_> God's xDD wiww be uWu donye! 
:3 YOWK. :3 [Aside] x3 Cowd nyews fow OwO me; fow UwU I xDD had UwU hope of Fwance 
;;w;; As x3 fiwmwy >_< as UwU I UwU hope fow ^.^ fewtiwe ^w^ Engwand. 
^-^ Thus OwO awe x3 my xDD bwossoms blasted uWu in x3 the bud, 
xDD And caterpillars eat x3 my >w< weaves :3 away; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww wemedy ÚwÚ this geaw ere long, 
:33 Ow ;;w;; seww x3 my ;;w;; titwe fow :3 a glorious x3 gwave. 

Entew GWOUCESTEW 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. All happinyess >w< unto x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the King! 
Pawdon, x3 my ^.^ wiege, :3 that UwU I uWu have OwO stay'd UwU so wong. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Nyay, :33 Gwoucestew, ^.^ knyow :3 that xDD thou awt come ^w^ too >_< soon, 
OwO Unwess xDD thou OwO wewt ^.^ mowe loyal than xDD thou art. 
UwU I UwU do ;;w;; awwest uWu thee of xDD high UwU tweason hewe. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD Weww, ^.^ Suffowk, xDD thou shalt nyot >_> see ;;w;; me bwush 
x3 Nyow change x3 my >_< countenyance fow ÚwÚ this >_> awwest: 
^-^ A >_< heawt x3 unspotted >_> is nyot easily daunted. 
uWu The puwest ^-^ spwing >_> is nyot UwU so fwee from >_< mud 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ cweaw from UwU tweason to x3 my OwO suvweign. 
Who ^.^ can ;;w;; accuse me? ^-^ Whewein ^w^ am UwU I xDD guiwty? 
:3 YOWK. 'Tis ^-^ thought, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that xDD you >_> took ^-^ bwibes of Fwance 
^.^ And, ^.^ being ;;w;; Pwotectow, OwO stay'd x3 the :3 sowdiews' :33 pay; 
^-^ By means xDD wheweof :33 his >_> Highnyess hath wost Fwance. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Is >w< it >_> but xDD thought so? >_> What OwO awe ;;w;; they :3 that think :33 it? 
UwU I >_< nyevew wobb'd x3 the ^-^ sowdiews of uWu theiw x3 pay 
x3 Nyow OwO evew xDD had one ÚwÚ penny bribe from Fwance. 
^w^ So OwO hewp ;;w;; me :33 God, >_< as UwU I uWu have UwU watch'd x3 the nyight- 
Ay, >w< nyight ^.^ by nyight- uWu in >_> studying ÚwÚ good fow England! 
:33 That OwO doit :3 that ;;w;; e'ew UwU I >_< wwested from x3 the OwO King, 
:33 Ow xDD any gwoat UwU I hoarded to x3 my ^.^ use, 
^w^ Be ^.^ bwought OwO against ;;w;; me uWu at x3 my :33 twiaw-day! 
No; UwU many :3 a ;;w;; pound of >_< minye UwU own OwO pwopew store, 
>_< Because UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ tax x3 the nyeedy xDD commons, 
:3 Have UwU I dispuwsed to x3 the UwU gawwisons, 
xDD And >_< nyevew >w< ask'd fow westitution. 
CARDINAL. ^.^ It sewves xDD you weww, x3 my uWu wowd, to >_> say UwU so :33 much. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I >_> say nyo ^.^ mowe than truth, UwU so OwO hewp ;;w;; me uWu God! 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ In x3 youw >_< pwotectowship xDD you uWu did >w< devise 
Stwange >_< towtuwes fow xDD offendews, >_< nyevew heard :33 of, 
:33 That England UwU was defam'd ^.^ by tywanny. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Why, UwU 'tis weww ÚwÚ knyown :3 that whiwes UwU I UwU was Protector 
x3 Pity UwU was aww x3 the ;;w;; fauwt :3 that UwU was uWu in OwO me; 
For UwU I >_> shouwd :3 mewt uWu at >w< an xDD offendew's ^-^ teaws, 
xDD And ^-^ wowwy wowds :3 wewe wansom fow uWu theiw ^-^ fauwt. 
OwO Unwess >w< it :3 wewe :3 a bwoody muwdewew, 
:33 Ow fouw felonious UwU thief :3 that fleec'd poor >_< passengews, 
UwU I >_< nyevew uWu gave them ^.^ condign punyishment. 
>_> Muwdew :33 indeed, :3 that bwoody ^w^ sin, UwU I ÚwÚ towtuw'd 
Abuv x3 the felon ow >_> what trespass ewse. 
x3 SUFFOWK. OwO My uWu wowd, these :33 fauwts OwO awe easy, quickly answew'd; 
OwO But OwO mightiew crimes OwO awe laid >w< unto x3 youw charge, 
:3 Wheweof xDD you ;;w;; cannyot easily OwO puwge OwO youwsewf. 
UwU I UwU do ;;w;; awwest xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ His Highness' :33 nyame, 
xDD And OwO hewe :3 commit xDD you to x3 my Lord Cardinal 
;;w;; To >_< keep ÚwÚ untiw x3 youw further time of trial. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My Lord of :33 Gwoucestew, UwU 'tis x3 my >_> speciaw UwU hope 
:33 That xDD you xDD wiww ^-^ cweaw >_> youwsewf from aww ^-^ suspense. 
OwO My >_> conscience uWu tewws ;;w;; me xDD you OwO awe innocent. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD Ah, >_> gwacious uWu wowd, these OwO days OwO awe OwO dangewous! 
x3 Viwtue >_> is chok'd with fouw ambition, 
xDD And xDD chawity UwU chas'd >w< hence ^.^ by rancour's xDD hand; 
Foul >_> subownyation >_> is ^.^ pwedominyant, 
xDD And equity >w< exiw'd x3 youw Highness' xDD wand. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu theiw complot >_> is to uWu have x3 my :33 wife; 
xDD And >_> if x3 my :33 death ^w^ might >_< make ÚwÚ this >_< iswand ^w^ happy 
xDD And ^-^ pwuv x3 the pewiod of uWu theiw tywanny, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu expend >w< it with aww willingness. 
OwO But >_< minye >_> is UwU made x3 the uWu pwowogue to uWu theiw play; 
For thousands ^.^ mowe :3 that yet >_> suspect nyo peril 
Will nyot OwO concwude uWu theiw ^-^ pwotted ^.^ twagedy. 
Beaufowt's red :33 spawkwing eyes blab :33 his heart's x3 mawice, 
xDD And Suffolk's cwoudy ^w^ bwow :33 his ;;w;; stowmy :33 hate; 
^-^ Shawp ^-^ Buckingham ;;w;; unbuwdens with :33 his >_> tongue 
uWu The envious woad :3 that wies ;;w;; upon :33 his heawt; 
xDD And uWu dogged York, :3 that reaches uWu at x3 the ;;w;; moon, 
>_< Whose ^-^ uvwweenying awm UwU I uWu have ^w^ pwuck'd back, 
^-^ By UwU fawse ;;w;; accuse xDD doth ^w^ wevew uWu at x3 my life. 
xDD And UwU you, x3 my suvweign UwU wady, with x3 the ^-^ west, 
uWu Causewess uWu have laid disgraces on x3 my head, 
xDD And with x3 youw best endeavouw uWu have stirr'd x3 up 
OwO My ^-^ wiefest wiege to be >_< minye enemy; 
Ay, aww of xDD you uWu have laid x3 youw heads together- 
xDD Mysewf xDD had ÚwÚ nyotice of x3 youw x3 conventicwes- 
xDD And aww to >_< make OwO away x3 my ;;w;; guiwtwess life. 
UwU I UwU shaww nyot ^.^ want UwU fawse >_> witnyess to >_< condemn ;;w;; me 
x3 Nyow OwO stowe of :3 tweasons to >_> augment x3 my ÚwÚ guiwt. 
uWu The UwU ancient pwuvwb xDD wiww be weww x3 effected: 
>_> 'A uWu staff >_> is quickly >_> found to xDD beat :3 a >_> dog.' 
CARDINAL. OwO My ^.^ wiege, :33 his x3 waiwing >_> is intolerable. 
;;w;; If UwU those :3 that :3 cawe to >_< keep x3 youw royal ÚwÚ pewson 
Fwom ^.^ tweason's secret knyife ÚwÚ and UwU twaitow's xDD wage 
^w^ Be OwO thus ^w^ upbwaided, >_< chid, ÚwÚ and :33 wated :3 at, 
xDD And x3 the offender >_> gwanted ;;w;; scope of ;;w;; speech, 
'Twiww >_< make them :3 coow uWu in ^.^ zeaw >w< unto x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
x3 SUFFOWK. >_< Hath ^.^ he nyot ^w^ twit UwU ouw suvweign uWu wady OwO hewe 
With uWu ignyominyious wowds, ^w^ though ^.^ cwewkwy >_> couch'd, 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ she xDD had :33 subownyed x3 some to >_< sweaw 
ÚwÚ Fawse allegations to >_> o'ewthwow :33 his ÚwÚ state? 
QUEEN. OwO But UwU I ^.^ can UwU give x3 the :3 wosew OwO weave to >_< chide. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_< Faw twuew ^-^ spoke than OwO meant: UwU I wose indeed. 
Beshrew x3 the OwO winnyews, fow ;;w;; they pway'd ;;w;; me fawse! 
xDD And weww xDD such ^-^ wosews OwO may uWu have OwO weave to >_< speak. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^-^ He'ww x3 wwest x3 the sense, ÚwÚ and howd >_> us OwO hewe aww x3 day. 
Lord Cardinal, ^.^ he >_> is x3 youw ^w^ pwisonyew. 
CARDINAL. uWu Siws, OwO take OwO away x3 the ;;w;; Duke, ÚwÚ and xDD guawd ^.^ him >_> suwe. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD Ah, OwO thus ^w^ King Henwy ^w^ thwows OwO away :33 his :33 cwutch 
^.^ Befowe :33 his UwU wegs be >w< fiwm to UwU beaw :33 his :3 body! 
^-^ Thus >_> is x3 the xDD shephewd beaten from >w< thy side, 
xDD And wolves OwO awe gnyawwing who UwU shaww gnaw uWu thee fiwst. 
xDD Ah, :3 that x3 my feaw :3 wewe fawse! UwU ah, :3 that >w< it were! 
For, ÚwÚ good ^w^ King Henry, >w< thy x3 decay UwU I ;;w;; feaw. UwU Exit, guawded 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My wowds, >_> what to x3 youw wisdoms seemeth best 
Do ow undo, >_< as >_> if :3 ouwsewf :3 wewe hewe. 
QUEEN. What, xDD wiww x3 youw >_> Highnyess OwO weave x3 the ^w^ Pawwiament? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Ay, Mawgawet; x3 my >_< heawt >_> is >w< dwown'd with gwief, 
>_< Whose flood ÚwÚ begins to fwow within >_< minye eyes; 
OwO My >w< body ;;w;; wound :33 engiwt with :3 misewy- 
For UwU what's ^.^ mowe >w< misewabwe than ^w^ discontent? 
xDD Ah, :33 uncwe ;;w;; Humphwey, uWu in >w< thy OwO face UwU I >_> see 
uWu The ^.^ map of honyouw, truth, ÚwÚ and loyalty! 
xDD And ^w^ yet, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; Humphwey, >_> is x3 the >_> houw to come 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew UwU I ^.^ pwov'd uWu thee UwU fawse ow feaw'd >w< thy ÚwÚ faith. 
>_> What ^.^ wouwing :33 staw nyow envies >w< thy estate 
:33 That these great wowds, ÚwÚ and Margaret UwU ouw :3 Queen, 
Do >_> seek ;;w;; subvewsion of >w< thy UwU hawmwess :33 wife? 
^.^ Thou >_< nyevew :33 didst them wwong, nor nyo x3 man >_> wwong; 
xDD And >_< as x3 the ;;w;; butchew UwU takes OwO away x3 the cawf, 
xDD And uWu binds x3 the :3 wwetch, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beats >w< it when >w< it strays, 
ÚwÚ Beawing >w< it to x3 the bwoody slaughter-house, 
Even >_> so, x3 wemowsewess, uWu have ;;w;; they :3 bownye ^.^ him OwO hence; 
xDD And >_< as x3 the :3 dam wuns ^.^ wowing x3 up ÚwÚ and ;;w;; down, 
^w^ Wooking x3 the uWu way her UwU hawmwess xDD young one OwO went, 
xDD And ^.^ can UwU do >_< nyought >_> but waiw her dawwing's woss, 
Even UwU so mysewf bewails ÚwÚ good :3 Gwoucestew's case 
With >_> sad :33 unhewpfuw ^-^ teaws, ÚwÚ and with ^w^ dimm'd eyes 
Wook ÚwÚ aftew :3 him, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot UwU do ^.^ him UwU good, 
^w^ So ^-^ mighty OwO awe :33 his >_> vowed enemies. 
ÚwÚ His fowtunyes UwU I xDD wiww >_> weep, ÚwÚ and 'twixt >_< each gwoan 
x3 Say :3 'Who's :3 a traitor? uWu Gwoucestew ^.^ he >_> is >w< nyonye.' uWu Exit 
QUEEN. Fwee wowds, UwU cowd >w< snyow melts with x3 the sun's :3 hot beams: 
Henwy x3 my ;;w;; wowd >_> is UwU cowd uWu in great ^-^ affaiws, 
Too full of >_< foowish pity; ÚwÚ and :3 Gwoucestew's x3 show 
^w^ Beguiwes ^.^ him >_< as x3 the ^-^ mouwnfuw >_> cwocodiwe 
With sorrow ^.^ snyawes uWu wewenting ÚwÚ passengews; 
:33 Ow >_< as x3 the snake, ^-^ woww'd uWu in :3 a >_> fwow'wing ^.^ bank, 
With >_< shinying OwO checkew'd slough, xDD doth ÚwÚ sting :3 a chiwd 
:33 That fow x3 the beauty ^w^ thinks >w< it excellent. 
:3 Bewieve uWu me, wowds, :3 wewe >_< nyonye ^.^ mowe uWu wise than uWu I- 
xDD And yet >w< hewein UwU I OwO judge >_< minye UwU own wit x3 good- 
This uWu Gwoucestew >_> shouwd be quickly x3 wid x3 the wowwd 
;;w;; To x3 wid >_> us from x3 the feaw ^.^ we uWu have of ^.^ him. 
CARDINAL. :33 That ^.^ he >_> shouwd ^-^ die >_> is ÚwÚ wowthy :33 powicy; 
OwO But yet ^.^ we ^.^ want :3 a colour fow :33 his death. 
'Tis :3 meet ^.^ he be condemn'd ^.^ by course of law. 
x3 SUFFOWK. But, uWu in x3 my UwU mind, :3 that :3 wewe nyo >w< powicy: 
uWu The ^w^ King xDD wiww labour still to :3 save :33 his :33 wife; 
uWu The >w< commons haply rise to :3 save :33 his :33 wife; 
xDD And yet ^.^ we uWu have >_> but OwO twiviaw :33 awgument, 
uWu Mowe than xDD mistwust, :3 that >_< shows ^.^ him ÚwÚ wowthy death. 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ So :3 that, ^.^ by uWu this, xDD you ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have ^.^ him die. 
x3 SUFFOWK. xDD Ah, York, nyo x3 man ^.^ awive UwU so >_> fain >_< as >_< I! 
:3 YOWK. 'Tis York :3 that hath ^.^ mowe reason fow :33 his death. 
But, x3 my Lord Cardinal, ÚwÚ and UwU you, x3 my Lord of ^.^ Suffowk, 
x3 Say >_< as xDD you >_< think, ÚwÚ and speak >w< it from x3 youw xDD souws: 
^w^ Wewe't nyot aww one >w< an :33 empty >_> eagwe :3 wewe uWu set 
;;w;; To xDD guawd x3 the xDD chicken from :3 a hungwy ^w^ kite 
;;w;; As :33 pwace >w< Duke Humphrey fow x3 the >_< King's :3 Pwotectow? 
QUEEN. ^w^ So x3 the poor xDD chicken >_> shouwd be >_< suwe of death. 
x3 SUFFOWK. uWu Madam, UwU 'tis true; ÚwÚ and were't nyot ^-^ madnyess xDD then 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the fox >_> suwveyow of x3 the >_< fowd? 
Who ^.^ being ^-^ accus'd :3 a ^-^ cwafty muwdewew, 
ÚwÚ His guilt >_> shouwd be >_> but idly >_< posted UwU uvw, 
>_< Because :33 his OwO puwpose >_> is nyot ^-^ executed. 
No; wet ^.^ him >_> die, uWu in :3 that ^.^ he >_> is :3 a ^w^ fox, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^.^ pwov'd >w< an ;;w;; enyemy to x3 the UwU fwock, 
^.^ Befowe :33 his ;;w;; chaps be x3 stain'd with >_< cwimson bwood, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; Humphwey, ^.^ pwov'd ^.^ by ^w^ weasons, to x3 my OwO wiege. 
xDD And UwU do nyot stand on quiwwets >w< how to slay him; 
^w^ Be >w< it ^.^ by ;;w;; gins, ^.^ by >_> snyawes, ^.^ by >w< subtwety, 
Sleeping ow :3 waking, UwU 'tis nyo ;;w;; mattew how, 
^w^ So ^.^ he be UwU dead; fow :3 that >_> is ÚwÚ good ;;w;; deceit 
>_< Which >_> mates ^.^ him xDD fiwst :3 that xDD fiwst ^-^ intends ^.^ deceit. 
QUEEN. Thwice-nyobwe ^.^ Suffowk, UwU 'tis ^-^ wesowutewy >_> spoke. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ÚwÚ Nyot wesowute, :33 except UwU so much :3 wewe :33 donye, 
For ^.^ things OwO awe often ^-^ spoke ÚwÚ and seldom meant; 
OwO But :3 that x3 my >_< heawt OwO accowdeth with x3 my ;;w;; tongue, 
x3 Seeing x3 the ^.^ deed >_> is mewitowious, 
xDD And to pwesewve x3 my suvweign from :33 his x3 foe, 
x3 Say >_> but x3 the word, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww be :33 his pwiest. 
CARDINAL. OwO But UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ him >_< dead, x3 my Lord of ^.^ Suffowk, 
Ere xDD you ^.^ can OwO take >_< due x3 owdews fow :3 a pwiest; 
x3 Say xDD you >_< consent ÚwÚ and UwU censuwe weww x3 the OwO deed, 
xDD And I'll provide :33 his xDD executionyew- 
UwU I xDD tendew UwU so x3 the :33 safety of x3 my OwO wiege. 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 my uWu hand x3 the ^.^ deed >_> is ÚwÚ wowthy doing. 
QUEEN. xDD And UwU so >_> say ^.^ I. 
:3 YOWK. xDD And ^.^ I. xDD And nyow ^.^ we >w< thwee uWu have ^-^ spoke :33 it, 
^.^ It skiwws nyot OwO gweatwy who uWu impugns UwU ouw doom. 

Entew :3 a >_< POST 

POST. UwU Gweat wowds, from Iwewand ^w^ am UwU I come ^-^ amain 
;;w;; To :33 signyify :3 that ÚwÚ webews there OwO awe x3 up 
xDD And put x3 the :3 Engwishmen >w< unto x3 the ^-^ swowd. 
>_< Send succouws, wowds, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ stop x3 the xDD wage UwU betime, 
^.^ Befowe x3 the ;;w;; wound UwU do gwow >_> uncuwabwe; 
For, ^.^ being xDD gween, there >_> is great UwU hope of ;;w;; hewp. 
CARDINAL. ^-^ A ^w^ bweach :3 that cwaves :3 a ^w^ quick expedient UwU stop! 
>_> What counsel UwU give xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ weighty ^w^ cause? 
:3 YOWK. :33 That Somerset be sent >_< as Regent thithew; 
'Tis :3 meet :3 that ^-^ wucky ruler be >w< empwoy'd, 
Witness x3 the :3 fowtunye ^.^ he hath xDD had uWu in Fwance. 
uWu SOMEWSET. ;;w;; If York, with aww :33 his far-fet x3 powicy, 
xDD Had :33 been x3 the Regent there ^w^ instead of uWu me, 
>w< He >_< nyevew ^.^ wouwd uWu have OwO stay'd uWu in Fwance UwU so wong. 
:3 YOWK. :3 Nyo, nyot to wose >w< it aww >_< as xDD thou x3 hast ^-^ donye. 
UwU I rather ^.^ wouwd uWu have wost x3 my >w< wife betimes 
Than ;;w;; bwing :3 a buwden of x3 dishonyouw ^.^ home 
^-^ By ^.^ staying there UwU so ^-^ wong >w< tiww aww :3 wewe :3 wost. 
uWu Show ;;w;; me one ^-^ scaw character'd on >w< thy ÚwÚ skin: 
xDD Men's >w< fwesh preserv'd UwU so whole UwU do seldom :33 win. 
QUEEN. Nyay >w< then, ÚwÚ this spawk xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv :3 a waging ^w^ fiwe, 
;;w;; If wind ÚwÚ and x3 fuew be ^.^ bwought to >w< feed >w< it x3 with; 
No >_> mowe, ÚwÚ good Yowk; x3 sweet ^w^ Somewset, be xDD stiww. 
x3 Thy fowtunye, York, >w< hadst xDD thou :33 been Regent thewe, 
^.^ Might happily uWu have ^.^ pwov'd uWu faw xDD wowse than ÚwÚ his. 
:3 YOWK. What, xDD wowse than ÚwÚ nyought? Nyay, xDD then :3 a ^-^ shame OwO take :33 aww! 
uWu SOMEWSET. xDD And uWu in x3 the number, uWu thee :3 that :33 wishest x3 shame! 
CARDINAL. OwO My Lord of York, >_> twy >_> what x3 youw :3 fowtunye >w< is. 
xDD Th' UwU unciviw k-kewns of Iwewand OwO awe uWu in :3 awms 
xDD And xDD tempew clay with :3 bwood of xDD Engwishmen; 
;;w;; To Iwewand xDD wiww xDD you lead :3 a band of men, 
Cowwected choicewy, from >_< each >_< county some, 
xDD And >_> twy x3 youw ÚwÚ hap OwO against x3 the Iwishmen? 
:3 YOWK. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU so uWu pwease :33 his >_< Majesty. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Why, UwU ouw ÚwÚ authowity >_> is :33 his ^.^ consent, 
xDD And >_> what ^.^ we UwU do :3 estabwish ^.^ he ^w^ confiwms; 
Then, x3 nyobwe York, OwO take xDD thou ÚwÚ this :3 task uWu in >w< hand. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I ^w^ am content; provide ;;w;; me xDD sowdiews, wowds, 
Whiwes UwU I OwO take order fow >_< minye UwU own x3 affaiws. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ A charge, Lord York, :3 that UwU I xDD wiww >_> see perform'd. 
OwO But nyow ^-^ wetuwn ^.^ we to x3 the UwU fawse >w< Duke :3 Humphwey. 
CARDINAL. No ^.^ mowe of him; fow UwU I xDD wiww deal with ^.^ him 
:33 That henceforth ^.^ he UwU shaww >_> twoubwe >_> us nyo more. 
xDD And UwU so bweak :33 off; x3 the day >_> is almost :33 spent. 
Lord ^.^ Suffowk, xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must tawk of :3 that UwU event. 
:3 YOWK. OwO My Lord of ^.^ Suffowk, within ^.^ fouwteen OwO days 
At Bristol UwU I >_< expect x3 my soldiers; 
For there I'll ship them aww fow Iwewand. 
x3 SUFFOWK. I'll >_> see >w< it :33 twuwy :33 donye, x3 my Lord of x3 Yowk. 
Exeunt aww >_> but YORK 
:3 YOWK. >_> Nyow, York, ow ;;w;; nyevew, steew >w< thy x3 feawfuw >_< thoughts 
xDD And change ^.^ misdoubt to wesowution; 
^w^ Be :3 that xDD thou ^w^ hop'st to be; ow >_> what xDD thou awt 
Wesign to >w< death- >w< it >_> is nyot ^.^ wowth x3 th' >_< enjoying. 
Let pawe-fac'd feaw >_< keep with x3 the mean-bown x3 man 
xDD And find nyo uWu hawbouw uWu in :3 a royal ;;w;; heawt. 
Faster than spring-time show'rs x3 comes xDD thought on ^-^ thought, 
xDD And nyot :3 a xDD thought >_> but ^w^ thinks on UwU dignyity. 
OwO My :3 bwain, ^.^ mowe >w< busy than x3 the labouring spider, 
:33 Weaves tedious ^.^ snyawes to ;;w;; twap >_< minye enemies. 
xDD Weww, ^.^ nyobwes, weww, UwU 'tis UwU powiticwy donye 
;;w;; To >_> send ;;w;; me :33 packing with >w< an host of ^.^ men. 
UwU I feaw ;;w;; me xDD you >_> but wawm x3 the starved snake, 
UwU Who, chewish'd uWu in x3 youw breasts, xDD wiww ÚwÚ sting x3 youw >w< heawts. 
>_< 'Twas ;;w;; men UwU I x3 wack'd, ÚwÚ and xDD you xDD wiww UwU give them OwO me; 
UwU I OwO take >w< it >w< kindwy. ÚwÚ Yet be weww x3 assuw'd 
>_> You put ^-^ shawp >_< weapons uWu in :3 a madman's ^w^ hands. 
Whiwes UwU I uWu in Iwewand nourish :3 a ^-^ mighty :33 band, 
UwU I xDD wiww stir x3 up uWu in England x3 some black x3 stowm 
Shall ^w^ bwow ;;w;; ten thousand >w< souws to heaven ow heww; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this UwU feww UwU tempest UwU shaww nyot xDD cease to xDD wage 
Untiw x3 the golden :33 ciwcuit on x3 my head, 
Wike to x3 the glorious sun's transparent ;;w;; beams, 
Do ÚwÚ cawm x3 the UwU fuwy of ÚwÚ this UwU mad-bwed >_> fwaw. 
xDD And fow :3 a xDD minyistew of x3 my :3 intent 
UwU I uWu have >_< seduc'd :3 a headstrong ÚwÚ Kentishman, 
John x3 Cade of uWu Ashfowd, 
;;w;; To >_< make UwU commotion, >_< as full weww ^.^ he ^-^ can, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the >_< tide of John Mortimer. 
^w^ In Iwewand uWu have UwU I :3 seen ÚwÚ this ^-^ stubbown x3 Cade 
ÚwÚ Oppose >_< himsewf OwO against :3 a troop of ^w^ kewns, 
xDD And ÚwÚ fought UwU so ^-^ wong tiff :3 that :33 his ;;w;; thighs with >_< dawts 
^.^ Wewe almost ^.^ wike :3 a >w< shawp-quiww'd ÚwÚ powpentinye; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the >w< end ^.^ being >w< wescu'd, UwU I uWu have :3 seen 
xDD Him capew ^w^ upwight ^.^ wike :3 a >w< wiwd Morisco, 
:33 Shaking x3 the bwoody >_< dawts >_< as ^.^ he :33 his bells. 
Full x3 often, ^.^ wike :3 a shag-hair'd ^-^ cwafty kewn, 
>_< Hath ^.^ he ^-^ convewsed with x3 the enyemy, 
xDD And undiscover'd come to ;;w;; me again 
xDD And UwU given ;;w;; me ÚwÚ nyotice of uWu theiw villainies. 
This ^.^ deviw OwO hewe UwU shaww be x3 my uWu substitute; 
For :3 that John Mortimer, which nyow >_> is >_< dead, 
^w^ In >w< face, uWu in gait, uWu in ;;w;; speech, ^.^ he xDD doth ÚwÚ wesembwe. 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this UwU I UwU shaww >_> pewceive x3 the OwO commons' UwU mind, 
How ;;w;; they affect x3 the ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and >_< cwaim of x3 Yowk. 
x3 Say ^.^ he be >_< taken, rack'd, ÚwÚ and towtuwed; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyo :33 pain ;;w;; they ^.^ can infwict ;;w;; upon ^.^ him 
Will >_< make ^.^ him >_> say UwU I x3 mov'd ^.^ him to UwU those arms. 
x3 Say :3 that ^.^ he thwive, >_< as UwU 'tis great ^.^ wike ^.^ he :33 wiww, 
Why, xDD then from Iwewand come UwU I with x3 my >_< stwength, 
xDD And reap x3 the harvest which :3 that wascaw >_< sow'd; 
For Humphrey ^.^ being >_< dead, >_< as ^.^ he UwU shaww be, 
xDD And Henwy put >_< apawt, x3 the :3 nyext fow x3 me. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^.^ Buwy St. OwO Edmunds. ^-^ A >_> woom of >w< state 

Entew >w< two ow >w< thwee :33 MUWDEWEWS wunnying uvw x3 the ^w^ stage, 
from x3 the murder of ÚwÚ DUKE HUMPHREY 

uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. OwO Wun to x3 my Lord of UwU Suffowk; wet ^.^ him ^.^ knyow 
We uWu have x3 dispatch'd x3 the ;;w;; Duke, >_< as ^.^ he commanded. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. x3 O :3 that >w< it :3 wewe to :33 do! >_> What uWu have ^.^ we done? 
;;w;; Didst OwO evew hear :3 a x3 man UwU so penitent? 

Entew :3 SUFFOWK 

uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 SUFFOWK. >_> Nyow, sirs, uWu have xDD you x3 dispatch'd ÚwÚ this ;;w;; thing? 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, uWu he's uWu dead. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Why, ^w^ that's weww UwU said. ^w^ Go, get xDD you to x3 my ^.^ house; 
UwU I xDD wiww wewawd xDD you fow ÚwÚ this >w< ventuwous UwU deed. 
uWu The ^w^ King ÚwÚ and aww x3 the peews OwO awe OwO hewe uWu at >w< hand. 
:3 Have xDD you laid >w< faiw x3 the bed? Is aww ^.^ things weww, 
x3 Accowding >_< as UwU I uWu gave x3 diwections? 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. UwU 'Tis, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
x3 SUFFOWK. >_> Away! be ;;w;; gonye. Exeunt :33 MUWDEWEWS 

Sound x3 twumpets. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, x3 the xDD QUEEN, 
CARDINAL, SOMERSET, with ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Go caww UwU ouw :33 uncwe to UwU ouw x3 pwesence >_< stwaight; 
x3 Say ^.^ we intend to >_> twy :33 his Gwace uWu to-day, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he be x3 guiwty, >_< as UwU 'tis ;;w;; pubwished. 
x3 SUFFOWK. I'll caww ^.^ him pwesentwy, x3 my x3 nyobwe OwO wowd. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; Wowds, OwO take x3 youw >_> pwaces; x3 and, UwU I pray xDD you all, 
ÚwÚ Pwoceed nyo straiter uWu 'gainst UwU ouw :33 uncwe uWu Gwoucestew 
Than from true evidence, of ÚwÚ good esteem, 
>w< He be >w< appwov'd uWu in pwactice UwU cuwpabwe. 
QUEEN. ^w^ God UwU fowbid xDD any malice >_> shouwd :3 pwevaiw 
:33 That fauwtwess OwO may >_< condemn :3 a xDD nyobweman! 
>_> Pway ^w^ God ^.^ he OwO may xDD acquit ^.^ him of >w< suspicion! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ Meg; these wowds :3 content ;;w;; me :33 much. 

^.^ We-entew :3 SUFFOWK 

How >_< nyow! Why wook'st xDD thou pale? Why tremblest thou? 
Whewe >_> is UwU ouw xDD uncwe? x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, ^w^ Suffowk? 
x3 SUFFOWK. Dead uWu in :33 his ^.^ bed, x3 my wowd; uWu Gwoucestew >_> is uWu dead. 
QUEEN. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ God forfend! 
CARDINAL. >_> God's secret ;;w;; judgment! UwU I uWu did dweam ^.^ to-nyight 
uWu The >w< Duke UwU was UwU dumb ÚwÚ and couwd nyot speak :3 a OwO wowd. 
;;w;; [The ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ swoons] 
QUEEN. How fawes x3 my xDD wowd? Hewp, lords! uWu The ^w^ King >_> is uWu dead. 
uWu SOMEWSET. Rear x3 up :33 his >w< body; wring ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 the nyose. 
QUEEN. Run, x3 go, hewp, :33 hewp! x3 O Henry, ^w^ ope ^.^ thinye xDD eyes! 
x3 SUFFOWK. >w< He xDD doth :3 wevive again; UwU madam, be uWu patient. 
>w< KING. x3 O ^-^ heavenwy uWu God! 
QUEEN. How fawes x3 my >_> gwacious xDD wowd? 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 Comfowt, x3 my sovereign! Gracious Henry, comfort! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. What, xDD doth x3 my Lord of :33 Suffowk uWu comfowt me? 
>_< Came ^.^ he >w< wight nyow to ^.^ sing :3 a raven's :3 nyote, 
>_< Whose ÚwÚ dismaw tune >_> beweft x3 my ;;w;; vitaw >w< pow'ws; 
xDD And ^w^ thinks ^.^ he :3 that x3 the x3 chiwping of :3 a wwen, 
^-^ By :3 cwying uWu comfowt from :3 a OwO howwow UwU bweast, 
UwU Can OwO chase OwO away x3 the xDD fiwst ^-^ conceived sound? 
>_> Hide nyot >w< thy x3 poison with xDD such >_> sug'wed words; 
Way nyot >w< thy ^.^ hands on OwO me; fowbeaw, UwU I say, 
^-^ Theiw :33 touch affwights ;;w;; me >_< as :3 a serpent's uWu sting. 
^.^ Thou xDD bawefuw ^w^ messengew, x3 out of x3 my ;;w;; sight! 
>_> Upon >w< thy x3 eye-bawws murderous uWu tywanny 
x3 Sits uWu in gwim ^.^ majesty to :33 fwight x3 the wowwd. 
Wook nyot ;;w;; upon uWu me, fow ^.^ thinye eyes OwO awe wounding; 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU do nyot OwO go :3 away; come, basilisk, 
xDD And OwO kiww x3 the innocent >_< gazew with >w< thy sight; 
For uWu in x3 the shade of :33 death UwU I UwU shaww find >w< joy- 
^w^ In >w< wife >_> but :3 doubwe death,'now :3 Gwoucestew's uWu dead. 
QUEEN. Why UwU do xDD you wate x3 my Lord of :33 Suffowk >_< thus? 
Awthough x3 the >w< Duke UwU was ;;w;; enyemy to :3 him, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ he UwU most Christian-like ^.^ waments :33 his ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And fow myself- foe >_< as ^.^ he UwU was to me- 
^.^ Might OwO wiquid ^-^ teaws, ow x3 heawt-offending :33 gwoans, 
:33 Ow bwood-consuming xDD sighs, ^-^ wecaww :33 his :3 wife, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd be ^w^ bwind with weeping, >w< sick with :33 gwoans, 
Wook pawe >_< as pwimwose with xDD bwood-dwinking xDD sighs, 
xDD And aww to uWu have x3 the x3 nyobwe >w< Duke alive. 
>_> What ^.^ knyow UwU I >w< how x3 the wowwd OwO may >w< deem of me? 
For >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ knyown ^.^ we :3 wewe >_> but OwO howwow friends: 
^.^ It OwO may be xDD judg'd UwU I UwU made x3 the >w< Duke :3 away; 
^w^ So UwU shaww x3 my xDD nyame with ^.^ swandew's >_> tongue be ÚwÚ wounded, 
xDD And princes' couwts be :3 fiww'd with x3 my uWu wepwoach. 
This get UwU I ^.^ by :33 his death. uWu Ay uWu me, ^w^ unhappy! 
;;w;; To be :3 a >_< queen ÚwÚ and cwown'd with xDD infamy! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD Ah, woe >_> is ;;w;; me fow :33 Gwoucestew, wwetched ;;w;; man! 
QUEEN. ^w^ Be woe fow uWu me, ^.^ mowe wwetched than ^.^ he >w< is. 
What, dost xDD thou turn away, ÚwÚ and hide >w< thy ^.^ face? 
UwU I ^w^ am nyo woathsome leper- wook on x3 me. 
What, awt xDD thou ^.^ wike x3 the >_> addew ;;w;; waxen deaf? 
^w^ Be OwO poisonyous :3 too, ÚwÚ and OwO kiww >w< thy ^.^ fowwown ÚwÚ Queen. 
Is aww >w< thy uWu comfowt shut uWu in :3 Gwoucestew's ^.^ tomb? 
Why, xDD then x3 Dame Margaret UwU was ^w^ nye'ew >w< thy ^-^ joy. 
OwO Ewect :33 his statue ÚwÚ and :33 wowship :33 it, 
xDD And >_< make x3 my x3 image >_> but >w< an uWu awehouse sign. 
Was UwU I fow ÚwÚ this ^.^ nyigh ^.^ wweck'd ;;w;; upon x3 the :33 sea, 
xDD And twice ^.^ by awkward wind from Engwand's ^.^ bank 
Dwuv back again >w< unto x3 my OwO nyative ;;w;; cwime? 
>_> What ÚwÚ boded ÚwÚ this >_> but weww-fowewawnying wind 
Did xDD seem to >_> say ÚwÚ 'Seek nyot :3 a scorpion's nest, 
x3 Nyow uWu set nyo footing on ÚwÚ this :3 unkind showe'? 
>_> What uWu did UwU I xDD then >_> but curs'd x3 the ^-^ gentwe gusts, 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that loos'd them fowth uWu theiw ^-^ bwazen ^w^ caves; 
xDD And bid them ^w^ bwow uWu towawds Engwand's blessed >w< showe, 
:33 Ow turn UwU ouw xDD stewn ;;w;; upon :3 a :3 dweadfuw ^.^ wock? 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> Aeowus ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 a muwdewew, 
OwO But left :3 that hateful ^.^ office >w< unto thee. 
uWu The pretty-vaulting sea x3 wefus'd to x3 dwown uWu me, 
Knyowing :3 that xDD thou wouldst uWu have ;;w;; me >w< dwown'd on >w< showe 
With tears >_< as ^-^ sawt >_< as sea ^w^ thwough >w< thy xDD unkindnyess; 
uWu The x3 spwitting x3 wocks ÚwÚ cow'w'd uWu in x3 the sinking UwU sands 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ dash ;;w;; me with uWu theiw ^-^ wagged :33 sides, 
>_< Because >w< thy flinty uWu heawt, ^.^ mowe x3 hawd than >w< they, 
^.^ Might uWu in >w< thy ^w^ pawace xDD pewish Margaret. 
;;w;; As uWu faw >_< as UwU I couwd >_< ken >w< thy ^.^ chawky ;;w;; cwiffs, 
x3 When from >w< thy >w< showe x3 the UwU tempest xDD beat >_> us back, 
UwU I :33 stood ;;w;; upon x3 the >_> hatches uWu in x3 the ^w^ stowm; 
xDD And when x3 the ÚwÚ dusky sky began to rob 
OwO My eawnyest-gaping ^.^ sight of >w< thy ^w^ wand's ^.^ view, 
UwU I >_> took :3 a x3 costwy jewel from x3 my uWu nyeck- 
^-^ A >_< heawt >w< it UwU was, bound uWu in with ^w^ diamonds- 
xDD And OwO thwew >w< it uWu towawds >w< thy xDD wand. uWu The sea weceiv'd uWu it; 
xDD And UwU so UwU I >w< wish'd >w< thy >w< body ^w^ might x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
xDD And even with ÚwÚ this UwU I wost >w< faiw Engwand's ^.^ view, 
xDD And bid >_< minye eyes be :33 packing with x3 my uWu heawt, 
xDD And ^w^ caww'd them ^w^ bwind ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dusky x3 spectacwes 
For losing >_< ken of Albion's wished x3 coast. 
How often uWu have UwU I tempted Suffolk's tongue- 
uWu The agent of >w< thy fouw ^.^ inconstancy- 
;;w;; To sit ÚwÚ and >w< witch uWu me, >_< as xDD Ascanyius uWu did 
x3 When ^.^ he to ^-^ madding ^w^ Dido ^.^ wouwd ^w^ unfowd 
ÚwÚ His father's acts commenc'd uWu in ^.^ buwnying Twoy! 
^w^ Am UwU I nyot ^.^ witch'd ^.^ wike OwO hew? :33 Ow xDD thou nyot UwU fawse ^.^ wike him? 
uWu Ay uWu me, UwU I ^.^ can nyo uWu mowe! ^w^ Die, Margaret, 
For Henwy ^.^ weeps :3 that xDD thou dost ^w^ wive UwU so wong. 

Noise x3 within. Entew ^w^ WAWWICK, >_< SAWISBUWY, 
ÚwÚ and UwU many >w< commons 

WARWICK. ^.^ It >_> is wepowted, ^-^ mighty sovereign, 
:33 That ÚwÚ good >w< Duke Humphrey twaitowouswy >_> is ^-^ muwd'wed 
^-^ By :33 Suffowk ÚwÚ and x3 the Cardinal Beaufowt's means. 
uWu The xDD commons, ^.^ wike >w< an angry x3 hive of ÚwÚ bees 
:33 That ^.^ want uWu theiw UwU weadew, scatter x3 up ÚwÚ and down 
xDD And :3 cawe nyot who ;;w;; they ÚwÚ sting uWu in :33 his revenge. 
xDD Mysewf uWu have xDD cawm'd uWu theiw ^-^ spweenfuw mutiny 
Untiw ;;w;; they hear x3 the order of :33 his death. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :33 That ^.^ he >_> is >_< dead, ÚwÚ good Wawwick, UwU 'tis ^w^ too true; 
OwO But >w< how ^.^ he >w< died ^w^ God ;;w;; knyows, nyot >_< Henwy. 
Entew :33 his chamber, x3 view :33 his ^w^ bweathwess :33 cowpse, 
xDD And ^.^ comment xDD then ;;w;; upon :33 his ^.^ sudden death. 
WARWICK. :33 That UwU shaww UwU I UwU do, x3 my OwO wiege. Stay, >_> Sawisbuwy, 
With x3 the wude ^.^ muwtitude >w< tiww UwU I wetuwn. uWu Exit 
uWu Exit SALISBURY with x3 the >w< commons 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 O ^.^ Thou :3 that >_> judgest aww :3 things, xDD stay x3 my >_< thoughts- 
OwO My >_< thoughts :3 that labour to :33 pewsuade x3 my :3 souw 
;;w;; Some :3 viowent ^.^ hands :3 wewe laid on xDD Humphwey's wife! 
;;w;; If x3 my >_> suspect be :3 fawse, :33 fowgive uWu me, x3 God; 
For ^w^ judgment >w< onwy xDD doth OwO bewong to ;;w;; Thee. 
Fain ^.^ wouwd UwU I OwO go to >_> chafe :33 his ;;w;; pawy lips 
With ÚwÚ twenty thousand ^-^ kisses ÚwÚ and to >_< dwain 
>_> Upon :33 his OwO face >w< an xDD ocean of ^-^ sawt tears 
;;w;; To tell x3 my wuv >w< unto :33 his UwU dumb deaf >w< twunk; 
xDD And with x3 my x3 fingews x3 feew :33 his uWu hand un-feeling; 
OwO But aww uWu in :33 vain OwO awe these >_> mean obsequies; 
xDD And to ;;w;; suwvey :33 his >_< dead ÚwÚ and uWu eawthy ÚwÚ image, 
>_> What :3 wewe >w< it >_> but to >_< make x3 my sorrow gweatew? 

^.^ Bed put fowth with x3 the body. Entew ^w^ WAWWICK 

WARWICK. :3 Come hithew, >_> gwacious sovereign, x3 view ÚwÚ this body. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :33 That >_> is to >_> see >w< how >_> deep x3 my :3 gwave >_> is ÚwÚ made; 
For with :33 his :3 souw ^w^ fwed aww x3 my ^-^ wowwdwy xDD sowace, 
For, ^-^ seeing :3 him, UwU I >_> see x3 my >w< wife uWu in death. 
WARWICK. ;;w;; As x3 suwewy >_< as x3 my :3 souw ^-^ intends to ^w^ wive 
With :3 that xDD dwead ^w^ King :3 that >_> took UwU ouw >w< state ;;w;; upon xDD Him 
;;w;; To fwee >_> us from :33 his :3 Fathew's wrathful cuwse, 
UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve :3 that :3 viowent ^.^ hands :3 wewe laid 
>_> Upon x3 the >w< wife of ÚwÚ this thrice-famed uWu Duke. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ A :3 dweadfuw ;;w;; oath, sworn with :3 a solemn >_< tongue! 
>_> What uWu instance ;;w;; gives Lord Wawwick fow :33 his xDD vow? 
WARWICK. xDD See >w< how x3 the :3 bwood >_> is ^-^ settwed uWu in :33 his ;;w;; face. 
x3 Oft uWu have UwU I :3 seen :3 a timewy-pawted ;;w;; ghost, 
Of :33 ashy UwU sembwance, meagwe, pawe, ÚwÚ and >_< bwoodwess, 
uWu Being aww >_> descended to x3 the labouring uWu heawt, 
UwU Who, uWu in x3 the OwO confwict :3 that >w< it ÚwÚ howds with UwU death, 
Attwacts x3 the same fow x3 aidance uWu 'gainst x3 the enyemy, 
>_< Which with x3 the >_< heawt there :33 coows, ÚwÚ and ^w^ nye'ew ^-^ wetuwnyeth 
;;w;; To bwush ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beautify x3 the >_< cheek ;;w;; again. 
OwO But see, :33 his OwO face >_> is black ÚwÚ and full of ^-^ bwood; 
ÚwÚ His x3 eye-bawws further x3 out than when ^.^ he liv'd, 
Stawing full x3 ghastwy ^.^ wike :3 a xDD stwangwed xDD man; 
ÚwÚ His >_< haiw upweaw'd, :33 his nyostwiws ;;w;; stwetch'd with stwuggwing; 
ÚwÚ His ^.^ hands ^.^ abwoad ;;w;; dispway'd, >_< as one :3 that >w< gwasp'd 
xDD And tugg'd fow :3 wife, ÚwÚ and UwU was ^.^ by ÚwÚ stwength ^-^ subdu'd. 
x3 Wook, on x3 the x3 sheets :33 his hair, xDD you see, >_> is xDD sticking; 
ÚwÚ His weww-pwopowtion'd ^w^ beawd UwU made OwO wough ÚwÚ and >_> wugged, 
Wike to x3 the :33 summew's corn ^.^ by UwU tempest lodged. 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be >_> but ^.^ he UwU was ^-^ muwd'wed xDD hewe: 
uWu The least of aww these signs :3 wewe probable. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Why, Wawwick, who >_> shouwd UwU do x3 the >w< Duke to UwU death? 
xDD Mysewf ÚwÚ and Beaufort xDD had ^.^ him uWu in ÚwÚ pwotection; 
xDD And :33 we, UwU I hope, ^w^ siw, OwO awe nyo muwdewews. 
WARWICK. OwO But both of xDD you :3 wewe ^.^ vow'd >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's ^.^ foes; 
xDD And UwU you, xDD fowsooth, xDD had x3 the ÚwÚ good >w< Duke to keep. 
'Tis ^.^ wike xDD you ^.^ wouwd nyot >_> feast ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a fwiend; 
xDD And UwU 'tis weww :3 seen ^.^ he >_> found >w< an enemy. 
QUEEN. UwU Then UwU you, >w< bewike, >_> suspect these noblemen 
;;w;; As guiwty of >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's timewess death. 
WARWICK. Who ÚwÚ finds x3 the >_> heifew >_< dead ÚwÚ and xDD bweeding OwO fwesh, 
xDD And sees ÚwÚ fast ^.^ by :3 a ;;w;; butchew with >w< an axe, 
OwO But xDD wiww >_> suspect uWu 'twas ^.^ he :3 that UwU made x3 the swaughtew? 
Who ÚwÚ finds x3 the partridge uWu in x3 the puttock's nyest 
OwO But OwO may imagine >w< how x3 the biwd UwU was >_< dead, 
Awthough x3 the ^w^ kite UwU soaw with UwU unbwoodied beak? 
Even UwU so >w< suspicious >_> is ÚwÚ this ^.^ twagedy. 
QUEEN. ^w^ Awe xDD you x3 the uWu butchew, ^w^ Suffowk? :3 Whewe's x3 youw knife? 
Is Beaufort tewm'd :3 a kite? Whewe OwO awe :33 his xDD tawons? 
x3 SUFFOWK. UwU I ^-^ weaw nyo knyife to >_> swaughtew x3 sweeping ÚwÚ men; 
OwO But hewe's :3 a ÚwÚ vengefuw uWu swowd, wusted with uWu ease, 
:33 That UwU shaww be scouwed uWu in :33 his >_< wancowous >_< heawt 
:33 That UwU swandews ;;w;; me with x3 muwdew's >_< cwimson ^.^ badge. 
x3 Say >_> if xDD thou uWu daw'st, OwO pwoud Lord of :33 Wawwickshiwe, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am uWu fauwty uWu in >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's death. 
Exeunt CARDINAL, SOMERSET, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 
WARWICK. >_> What x3 dawes nyot Wawwick, >_> if UwU fawse :33 Suffowk dawe him? 
QUEEN. >w< He x3 dawes nyot ÚwÚ cawm :33 his >_> contumewious ^-^ spiwit, 
x3 Nyow xDD cease to be >w< an awwogant contwowwew, 
;;w;; Though :33 Suffowk dawe ^.^ him ÚwÚ twenty thousand times. 
WARWICK. uWu Madam, be stiww- with ^w^ wevewence OwO may UwU I say; 
For every ;;w;; wowd xDD you speak uWu in :33 his behawf 
Is ^-^ swandew to x3 youw royal UwU dignyity. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Bwunt-witted uWu wowd, ignoble uWu in ÚwÚ demeanyouw, 
;;w;; If OwO evew uWu wady wrong'd her ;;w;; wowd UwU so ÚwÚ much, 
x3 Thy mothew >_> took x3 into her :33 bwamefuw x3 bed 
;;w;; Some xDD stewn UwU untutow'd UwU chuww, ÚwÚ and x3 nyobwe stock 
Was >_> gwaft with crab-tree xDD swip, x3 whose ^w^ fwuit xDD thou awt, 
xDD And >_< nyevew of x3 the UwU Nyeviws' x3 nyobwe uWu wace. 
WARWICK. OwO But :3 that x3 the guilt of murder :3 buckwews ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And UwU I >_> shouwd rob x3 the >w< deathsman of :33 his >_< fee, 
;;w;; Quitting uWu thee theweby of ;;w;; ten thousand >_< shames, 
xDD And :3 that x3 my ^.^ suvweign's x3 pwesence x3 makes ;;w;; me OwO miwd, 
UwU I :3 wouwd, UwU fawse OwO muwd'wous xDD cowawd, on >w< thy knyee 
^-^ Make uWu thee ÚwÚ beg UwU pawdon fow >w< thy x3 passed ÚwÚ speech 
xDD And >_> say >w< it UwU was >w< thy mothew :3 that xDD thou meant'st, 
:33 That xDD thou >w< thysewf UwU was bown uWu in :33 bastawdy; 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ aftew aww ÚwÚ this x3 feawfuw UwU homage :33 donye, 
Give uWu thee >w< thy uWu hiwe ÚwÚ and >_> send >w< thy :3 souw to >_> heww, 
Pernicious blood-sucker of x3 sweeping ^.^ men. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^.^ Thou shalt be UwU waking OwO whiwe UwU I x3 shed >w< thy bwood, 
;;w;; If from ÚwÚ this x3 pwesence xDD thou ^w^ daw'st OwO go with x3 me. 
WARWICK. UwU Away even now, ow UwU I xDD wiww drag uWu thee x3 hence. 
>_> Unwowthy ^w^ though xDD thou awt, I'll cope with ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And UwU do x3 some OwO sewvice to >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's ghost. 
Exeunt :3 SUFFOWK ÚwÚ and ^w^ WAWWICK 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What stronger breastplate than :3 a >_< heawt UwU untainted? 
uWu Thwice >_> is ^.^ he awm'd :3 that hath :33 his ^-^ quawwew x3 just; 
xDD And ^.^ he >_> but nyaked, ^w^ though :3 wock'd x3 up uWu in >w< steew, 
>_< Whose >_> conscience with injustice >_> is cowwupted. 
:3 [A noise ;;w;; within] 
QUEEN. >_> What noise >_> is :3 this? 

^.^ We-entew :3 SUFFOWK ÚwÚ and ^w^ WAWWICK, with uWu theiw >_< weapons drawn 

>w< KING. Why, >w< how now, wowds, x3 youw wrathful >_< weapons drawn 
:3 Hewe uWu in UwU ouw pwesence! Dare xDD you be UwU so bowd? 
Why, >_> what :33 tumuwtuous ^-^ cwamouw uWu have ^.^ we hewe? 
x3 SUFFOWK. uWu The trait'rous Wawwick, with x3 the ;;w;; men of Bury, 
Set aww ;;w;; upon uWu me, ^-^ mighty OwO suvweign. 

^.^ We-entew SALISBURY 

SAWISBUWY. :33 [To x3 the Commons ;;w;; within] uWu Siws, stand >_< apawt, x3 the ^w^ King 
UwU shaww ^.^ knyow x3 youw :33 mind. 
;;w;; Dwead uWu wowd, x3 the >w< commons >_> send xDD you ;;w;; wowd ^.^ by ;;w;; me 
OwO Unwess Lord :33 Suffowk ^w^ stwaight be donye to UwU death, 
:33 Ow banished >w< faiw Engwand's ^-^ tewwitowies, 
^-^ They xDD wiww ^.^ by x3 viowence teaw ^.^ him from x3 youw ^w^ pawace 
xDD And towtuwe ^.^ him with ;;w;; gwievous x3 wing'wing death. 
^-^ They >_> say ^.^ by ^.^ him x3 the ÚwÚ good >w< Duke Humphrey died; 
^-^ They >_> say uWu in ^.^ him ;;w;; they feaw x3 youw Highness' ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And mere >w< instinct of wuv ÚwÚ and OwO woyawty, 
Fwee from :3 a ^-^ stubbown opposite intent, 
;;w;; As ^.^ being xDD thought to contwadict x3 youw x3 wiking, 
:3 Makes them OwO thus forward uWu in :33 his >_> banyishment. 
^-^ They say, uWu in :3 cawe of x3 youw UwU most royal pewson, 
:33 That >_> if x3 youw >_> Highnyess >_> shouwd intend to :33 sweep 
xDD And :3 chawge :3 that nyo x3 man >_> shouwd ^.^ distuwb x3 youw ^-^ west, 
^w^ In :33 pain of x3 youw :33 diswike ow :33 pain of UwU death, 
Yet, :3 nyotwithstanding xDD such :3 a stwait ^.^ edict, 
^.^ Wewe there :3 a serpent :3 seen with forked >_> tongue 
:33 That slily OwO gwided uWu towawds x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, 
^.^ It :3 wewe >_> but ^.^ nyecessawy xDD you :3 wewe wak'd, 
Lest, ^.^ being ^w^ suffew'd uWu in :3 that ;;w;; hawmfuw >_> swumbew, 
uWu The >w< mowtaw :33 wowm ^w^ might >_< make x3 the :33 sweep ^-^ etewnyaw. 
xDD And >_< thewefowe UwU do ;;w;; they ^-^ cwy, ^w^ though xDD you OwO fowbid, 
:33 That ;;w;; they xDD wiww xDD guawd UwU you, whe'er xDD you xDD wiww ow no, 
Fwom xDD such UwU feww ;;w;; sewpents >_< as UwU fawse :33 Suffowk is; 
With x3 whose envenyomed ÚwÚ and uWu fataw ÚwÚ sting 
uWu Youw >w< woving uWu uncwe, ÚwÚ twenty times :33 his ^.^ wowth, 
^-^ They say, >_> is ÚwÚ shamefuwwy >_> beweft of life. 
:33 COMMONS. :33 [Within] ^-^ An answew from x3 the OwO King, x3 my Lord of ^-^ Sawisbuwy! 
x3 SUFFOWK. 'Tis ^.^ wike x3 the xDD commons, wude :3 unpowish'd xDD hinds, 
Could >_> send xDD such ^-^ message to uWu theiw sovereign; 
OwO But UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 wewe uWu gwad to be >w< empwoy'd, 
;;w;; To x3 show >w< how ^w^ quaint >w< an orator xDD you x3 awe. 
OwO But aww x3 the honour uWu Sawisbuwy hath ^.^ won 
Is :3 that ^.^ he UwU was x3 the ;;w;; wowd ambassador 
:3 Sent from :3 a ;;w;; sowt of ^-^ tinkews to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
:33 COMMONS. :33 [Within] ^-^ An answew from x3 the OwO King, ow ^.^ we xDD wiww aww bweak :3 in! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ Go, >_> Sawisbuwy, ÚwÚ and tell them aww from ;;w;; me 
UwU I >_> thank them fow uWu theiw xDD tendew >w< woving ;;w;; cawe; 
xDD And xDD had UwU I nyot :33 been cited UwU so ^.^ by ÚwÚ them, 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu did UwU I OwO puwpose >_< as ;;w;; they UwU do >_< entweat; 
For >_< suwe x3 my >_< thoughts UwU do hourly >w< pwophesy 
^-^ Mischance >w< unto x3 my >w< state ^.^ by Suffolk's means. 
xDD And >_< thewefowe ^.^ by ÚwÚ His ;;w;; Majesty UwU I x3 sweaw, 
>_< Whose uWu faw >_< unwowthy OwO deputy UwU I am, 
>w< He UwU shaww nyot ;;w;; bweathe :3 infection uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ aiw 
OwO But >w< thwee OwO days wongew, on x3 the :33 pain of death. 
uWu Exit SALISBURY 
QUEEN. x3 O Henry, wet ;;w;; me pwead fow ^-^ gentwe Suffowk! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Ungentwe :3 Queen, to caww ^.^ him ^-^ gentwe Suffowk! 
No >_> mowe, UwU I say; >_> if xDD thou dost pwead fow :3 him, 
^.^ Thou wiwt >_> but >_< add incwease >w< unto x3 my wrath. 
xDD Had UwU I >_> but said, UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 kept x3 my wowd; 
OwO But when UwU I x3 sweaw, >w< it >_> is irrevocable. 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ aftew >w< thwee >_> days' xDD space xDD thou OwO hewe ÚwÚ be'st >_> found 
On xDD any x3 gwound :3 that UwU I ^w^ am ruler :33 of, 
uWu The wowwd UwU shaww nyot be wansom fow >w< thy life. 
^.^ Come, Wawwick, come, ÚwÚ good Wawwick, OwO go with OwO me; 
UwU I uWu have great uWu mattews to OwO impawt to thee. 
Exeunt aww >_> but >w< QUEEN ÚwÚ and :3 SUFFOWK 
QUEEN. ^-^ Mischance ÚwÚ and sorrow OwO go :3 awong with you! 
>w< Heawt's ;;w;; discontent ÚwÚ and :3 souw >_> affwiction 
^w^ Be >_< pwayfewwows to >_< keep xDD you ;;w;; company! 
>_> Thewe's >w< two of uWu you; x3 the ^.^ deviw >_< make :3 a OwO thiwd, 
xDD And >_> thweefowd UwU vengeance tend ;;w;; upon x3 youw :3 steps! 
x3 SUFFOWK. Cease, ^-^ gentwe :3 Queen, these execwations, 
xDD And wet >w< thy :33 Suffowk OwO take :33 his x3 heavy >_< weave. 
QUEEN. OwO Fie, x3 cowawd OwO woman ÚwÚ and OwO soft-heawted :3 wwetch, 
x3 Has xDD thou nyot ^w^ spiwit to UwU cuwse ^.^ thinye enyemy? 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon >w< them! ÚwÚ Whewefowe >_> shouwd UwU I UwU cuwse them? 
Wouwd cuwses OwO kiww >_< as xDD doth x3 the uWu mandwake's gwoan, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd invent >_< as UwU bittew searching ^w^ tewms, 
;;w;; As >_< cuwst, >_< as harsh, ÚwÚ and howwibwe to heaw, 
>_> Dewivew'd >_< stwongwy ^w^ thwough x3 my xDD fixed teeth, 
With full >_< as UwU many signs of deadwy hate, 
;;w;; As lean-fac'd Envy uWu in her woathsome ^.^ cave. 
OwO My >_> tongue >_> shouwd stumble uWu in >_< minye xDD eawnyest wowds, 
Mine eyes >_> shouwd uWu spawkwe ^.^ wike x3 the beaten xDD fwint, 
Mine >_< haiw be fix'd >w< an ^w^ end, >_< as one distract; 
Ay, every UwU joint >_> shouwd xDD seem to UwU cuwse ÚwÚ and x3 ban; 
xDD And even nyow x3 my ^w^ buwden'd >_< heawt ^.^ wouwd break, 
Should UwU I nyot UwU cuwse OwO them. uWu Poison be uWu theiw drink! 
>_> Gaww, xDD wowse than x3 gaww, x3 the OwO daintiest :3 that ;;w;; they xDD taste! 
^-^ Theiw ^w^ sweetest shade :3 a ;;w;; gwuv of cypwess >w< twees! 
^-^ Theiw ^.^ chiefest pwospect uWu muwd'wing OwO basiwisks! 
^-^ Theiw x3 softest :33 touch >_< as ^-^ smawt >_< as wizawds' OwO stings! 
^-^ Theiw uWu music frightful >_< as x3 the serpent's ÚwÚ hiss, 
xDD And UwU boding screech-owls >_< make x3 the consort x3 fuww! 
aww x3 the fouw terrors uWu in UwU dawk-seated >_< heww- 
QUEEN. ;;w;; Enyough, x3 sweet ^.^ Suffowk, xDD thou towment'st xDD thysewf; 
xDD And these xDD dwead curses, ^.^ wike x3 the sun uWu 'gainst gwass, 
:33 Ow ^.^ wike >w< an x3 uvwchawged ^.^ gun, UwU wecoiw, 
xDD And tuwns x3 the force of them ;;w;; upon thysewf. 
x3 SUFFOWK. >_> You ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me ;;w;; ban, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww xDD you bid ;;w;; me weave? 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the x3 gwound :3 that UwU I ^w^ am banyish'd >_> fwom, 
Weww couwd UwU I UwU cuwse OwO away :3 a winter's night, 
;;w;; Though >_< standing nyaked on :3 a OwO mountain ;;w;; top 
Whewe OwO biting UwU cowd ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew wet gwass xDD gwow, 
xDD And think >w< it >_> but :3 a minyute xDD spent uWu in ;;w;; spowt. 
QUEEN. >_< O, wet ;;w;; me entweat uWu thee >w< cease! Give ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may :33 dew >w< it with x3 my ^-^ mouwnfuw teaws; 
x3 Nyow wet x3 the xDD wain of heaven wet ÚwÚ this :33 pwace 
;;w;; To >_< wash OwO away x3 my ^.^ woefuw UwU monyuments. 
>_< O, couwd ÚwÚ this :3 kiss be UwU pwinted uWu in >w< thy uWu hand, 
:33 That xDD thou might'st think ;;w;; upon these ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ seaw, 
^.^ Thwough ÚwÚ whom :3 a thousand :3 sighs OwO awe >w< bweath'd fow uWu thee! 
So, get uWu thee >w< gonye, :3 that UwU I OwO may ^.^ knyow x3 my gwief; 
'Tis >_> but ÚwÚ suwmis'd whiwes xDD thou awt >_< standing UwU by, 
;;w;; As one :3 that surfeits uWu thinking on :3 a :33 want. 
UwU I xDD wiww repeal uWu thee or, be weww UwU assuw'd, 
>_< Adventuwe to be banished >_< mysewf; 
xDD And banished UwU I am, >_> if >_> but from thee. 
^w^ Go, speak nyot to OwO me; even nyow be ;;w;; gonye. 
>_< O, OwO go nyot UwU yet! Even OwO thus >w< two ^w^ fwiends condemn'd 
>_> Embwace, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ kiss, ÚwÚ and OwO take ;;w;; ten thousand OwO weaves, 
:33 Woathew :3 a :3 hundwed times to ÚwÚ pawt than die. 
ÚwÚ Yet now, faweweww; ÚwÚ and >_< faweweww >w< wife with uWu thee! 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ Thus >_> is poor :33 Suffowk ;;w;; ten times :33 banyished, 
Once ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and >w< thwee times thrice ^.^ by ÚwÚ thee, 
'Tis nyot x3 the ÚwÚ wand UwU I :3 cawe for, OwO wewt xDD thou >w< thence; 
^-^ A wiwdewnyess >_> is uWu popuwous UwU enyough, 
^w^ So :33 Suffowk xDD had >w< thy ^-^ heavenwy company; 
For :3 whewe xDD thou awt, there >_> is x3 the wowwd itself, 
With every sevewaw :3 pweasuwe uWu in x3 the wowwd; 
xDD And :3 whewe xDD thou awt >_> nyot, desolation. 
UwU I ^.^ can nyo uWu mowe: Wive xDD thou to joy >w< thy :33 wife; 
xDD Mysewf nyo joy uWu in >_< nyought >_> but :3 that xDD thou >w< wiv'st. 

Entew :33 VAUX 

QUEEN. x3 Whithew xDD goes uWu Vaux UwU so fast? >_> What news, UwU I :33 pwithee? 
UwU VAUX. ;;w;; To :33 signyify >w< unto :33 his ;;w;; Majesty 
:33 That Cardinal Beaufort >_> is uWu at :33 point of ÚwÚ death; 
For ;;w;; suddenwy :3 a ;;w;; gwievous sicknyess >_> took ^.^ him 
:33 That x3 makes ^.^ him :3 gasp, ÚwÚ and ^-^ stawe, ÚwÚ and catch x3 the air, 
x3 Bwaspheming :33 God, ÚwÚ and ^-^ cuwsing ;;w;; men on ;;w;; eawth. 
:3 Sometime ^.^ he talks >_< as >_> if >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's xDD ghost 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ by :33 his x3 side; ÚwÚ sometime ^.^ he ;;w;; cawws x3 the ^w^ King 
xDD And :3 whispews to :33 his ;;w;; piwwow, >_< as to :3 him, 
uWu The ^w^ secwets of :33 his x3 uvwchawged ^.^ souw; 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am sent to tell :33 his ;;w;; Majesty 
:33 That even nyow ^.^ he x3 cwies >_< awoud fow ^.^ him. 
QUEEN. Go tell ÚwÚ this x3 heavy ^-^ message to x3 the ;;w;; King. uWu Exit :33 VAUX 
uWu Ay me! >_> What >_> is ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wowwd! >_> What nyews OwO awe UwU these! 
OwO But ^-^ whewefowe UwU gwieve UwU I uWu at >w< an hour's poor woss, 
Omitting Suffolk's >w< exiwe, x3 my x3 souw's ^w^ tweasuwe? 
Why >_> onwy, ^.^ Suffowk, mouwn UwU I nyot fow ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And with x3 the >w< southewn :33 cwouds xDD contend uWu in UwU teaws- 
Theirs fow x3 the :33 eawth's UwU incwease, >_< minye fow x3 my ^-^ sowwows? 
Now get uWu thee >_> hence: x3 the OwO King, xDD thou >_> knyow'st, >_> is >w< coming; 
;;w;; If xDD thou be >_> found ^.^ by OwO me; xDD thou awt >_> but uWu dead. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ;;w;; If UwU I ÚwÚ depawt from uWu thee UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ wive; 
xDD And uWu in >w< thy ^.^ sight to >_> die, >_> what :3 wewe >w< it >_> ewse 
OwO But ^.^ wike :3 a >_> pweasant >_> swumbew uWu in >w< thy ;;w;; wap? 
:3 Hewe couwd UwU I ;;w;; bweathe x3 my :3 souw x3 into x3 the air, 
;;w;; As >_< miwd ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe >_< as x3 the cradle-babe 
Dying with ;;w;; mothew's uWu dug ^-^ between OwO its lips; 
UwU Whewe, from >w< thy UwU sight, UwU I >_> shouwd be waging ^-^ mad 
xDD And cwy x3 out fow uWu thee to ^-^ cwose x3 up >_< minye ^w^ eyes, 
;;w;; To uWu have uWu thee with >w< thy lips to ÚwÚ stop x3 my x3 mouth; 
^w^ So shouwdst xDD thou xDD eithew turn x3 my uWu fwying x3 souw, 
:33 Ow UwU I >_> shouwd ;;w;; bweathe >w< it UwU so x3 into >w< thy ;;w;; body, 
xDD And xDD then >w< it liv'd uWu in x3 sweet ÚwÚ Ewysium. 
;;w;; To ^-^ die ^.^ by uWu thee :3 wewe >_> but to ^-^ die uWu in OwO jest: 
Fwom uWu thee to ^-^ die :3 wewe towtuwe ^.^ mowe than death. 
>_< O, wet ;;w;; me ;;w;; stay, befaww >_> what OwO may ;;w;; befaww! 
QUEEN. >_> Away! ;;w;; Though >w< pawting be :3 a fwetfuw >w< cowwosive, 
^.^ It >_> is ^-^ appwied to :3 a ^.^ deathfuw wound. 
;;w;; To >_< Fwance, x3 sweet :33 Suffowk. Let ;;w;; me hear from ÚwÚ thee; 
For >_> wheweso'ew xDD thou awt uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO wowwd's globe 
I'll uWu have >w< an x3 Iwis :3 that UwU shaww find uWu thee OwO out. 
x3 SUFFOWK. UwU I ÚwÚ go. 
QUEEN. xDD And OwO take x3 my >_< heawt with thee. x3 [She ^-^ kisses >w< him] 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ A ;;w;; jewew, :3 wock'd x3 into x3 the ^-^ woefuww'st :3 cask 
:33 That OwO evew uWu did ^.^ contain :3 a ^.^ thing of uWu wowth. 
Even >_< as :3 a xDD spwitted bawk, UwU so OwO sundew >_< we: 
This uWu way faww UwU I to death. 
QUEEN. This uWu way fow x3 me. Exeunt uWu sevewawwy 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
OwO Wondon. x3 CAWDINyAW BEAUFOWT'S x3 bedchambew 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, >_< SAWISBUWY, ÚwÚ and ^w^ WAWWICK, to x3 the x3 CAWDINyAW uWu in x3 bed 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How fawes x3 my xDD wowd? ÚwÚ Speak, OwO Beaufowt, to >w< thy OwO suvweign. 
CARDINAL. ;;w;; If xDD thou ÚwÚ be'st >_> Death I'll UwU give uWu thee Engwand's treasure, 
Enyough to puwchase xDD such anyothew island, 
^w^ So xDD thou wiwt wet ;;w;; me ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and x3 feew nyo OwO pain. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD Ah, >_> what :3 a xDD sign >w< it >_> is of eviw >w< wife 
Whewe ^w^ death's appwoach >_> is :3 seen UwU so terrible! 
WARWICK. OwO Beaufowt, >w< it >_> is >w< thy suvweign xDD speaks to thee. 
CARDINAL. Bring ;;w;; me >w< unto x3 my uWu twiaw when xDD you :33 wiww. 
ÚwÚ Died ^.^ he nyot uWu in :33 his bed? Whewe >_> shouwd ^.^ he die? 
UwU Can UwU I >_< make ;;w;; men x3 wive, whe'er ;;w;; they xDD wiww ow no? 
>_< O, towtuwe ;;w;; me nyo uWu mowe! UwU I xDD wiww confess. 
ÚwÚ Awive ^w^ again? UwU Then x3 show ;;w;; me :3 whewe ^.^ he is; 
I'll UwU give :3 a thousand ;;w;; pound to wook ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
>w< He hath nyo ^w^ eyes, x3 the x3 dust hath :33 bwinded OwO them. 
^w^ Comb down :33 his ^-^ haiw; look, look! >w< it >w< stands upright, 
Wike ÚwÚ wime-twigs uWu set to catch x3 my >_> winged souw! 
Give ;;w;; me x3 some ;;w;; dwink; ÚwÚ and bid x3 the :3 apothecawy 
Bring x3 the >w< stwong x3 poison :3 that UwU I xDD bought of ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 O ^.^ Thou xDD etewnyaw :33 Muvw of x3 the >w< heavens, 
Wook with :3 a ^-^ gentwe ^w^ eye ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this OwO wwetch! 
>_< O, xDD beat OwO away x3 the >w< busy meddling >_< fiend 
:33 That ways >w< stwong ^-^ siege >w< unto ÚwÚ this wwetch's x3 souw, 
xDD And from :33 his ^w^ bosom OwO puwge ÚwÚ this black UwU despaiw! 
WARWICK. xDD See >w< how x3 the x3 pangs of :33 death UwU do >_< make ^.^ him >w< gwin 
SAWISBUWY. Disturb ^.^ him >_> nyot, wet ^.^ him pass xDD peaceabwy. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Peace to :33 his x3 souw, >_> if >_> God's ÚwÚ good :3 pweasuwe OwO be! 
Lord Card'nal, >_> if xDD thou think'st on heaven's bliss, 
:33 Howd x3 up >w< thy uWu hand, >_< make OwO signyaw of >w< thy ^-^ hope. 
>w< He dies, ÚwÚ and x3 makes nyo ;;w;; sign: x3 O :33 God, :33 fowgive x3 him! 
WARWICK. ^w^ So :33 bad :3 a :33 death ÚwÚ awgues :3 a monstwous life. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO Fowbeaw to ^w^ judge, fow ^.^ we OwO awe sinners all. 
:33 Cwose x3 up :33 his ^w^ eyes, ÚwÚ and dwaw x3 the ^-^ cuwtain close; 
xDD And wet >_> us aww to meditation. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The :3 coast of Kent 

;;w;; Awawum. Fight uWu at :33 sea. Ordnance xDD goes off. Entew :3 a WIEUTENyANT, 
:3 a ^w^ SHIPMASTEW ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU MATE, ÚwÚ and WALTER >w< WHITMOWE, with ^.^ saiwows; 
:3 SUFFOWK ÚwÚ and othew UwU GENTWEMEN, >_< as OwO pwisonyews 

ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. uWu The gaudy, bwabbing, ÚwÚ and wemowsefuw day 
Is x3 cwept x3 into x3 the ^w^ bosom of x3 the sea; 
xDD And nyow ^-^ woud-howwing wolves arouse x3 the x3 jades 
:33 That drag x3 the tragic ^-^ mewanchowy ^w^ nyight; 
Who with uWu theiw drowsy, swow, ÚwÚ and OwO fwagging x3 wings 
Clip >_< dead men's >w< gwaves, ÚwÚ and from uWu theiw ^w^ misty ^w^ jaws 
Bweathe fouw ^-^ contagious >w< dawknyess uWu in x3 the air. 
Therefore ;;w;; bwing fowth x3 the ^-^ sowdiews of UwU ouw prize; 
For, whiwst UwU ouw xDD pinnyace anchors uWu in x3 the OwO Downs, 
:3 Hewe UwU shaww ;;w;; they >_< make uWu theiw wansom on x3 the sand, 
:33 Ow with uWu theiw :3 bwood stain ÚwÚ this ^-^ discowouwed ;;w;; showe. 
^-^ Mastew, ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ pwisonyew freely UwU give UwU I ÚwÚ thee; 
xDD And xDD thou :3 that awt :33 his ^-^ mate >_< make ^w^ boot of >_< this; 
uWu The ÚwÚ othew, Wawtew Whitmore, >_> is >w< thy uWu shawe. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. >_> What >_> is x3 my ransom, ^.^ mastew, wet ;;w;; me xDD knyow? 
>_< MASTEW. ^-^ A thousand :33 cwowns, ow >_> ewse uWu way down x3 youw >_> head. 
ÚwÚ MATE. xDD And UwU so much UwU shaww xDD you give, ow x3 off xDD goes x3 youws. 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. What, think xDD you much to x3 pay >w< two thousand :33 cwowns, 
xDD And UwU beaw x3 the xDD nyame ÚwÚ and ^.^ powt of :33 gentwemen? 
Cut both x3 the :33 viwwains' throats- fow ^-^ die xDD you :3 shaww; 
uWu The ;;w;; wives of UwU those which ^.^ we uWu have wost uWu in >w< fight 
^w^ Be countewpois'd with xDD such :3 a petty sum! 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. I'll UwU give :33 it, :33 siw: ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^-^ spawe x3 my life. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. xDD And UwU so xDD wiww I, ÚwÚ and >w< wwite ^.^ home fow >w< it stwaight. 
WHITMORE. UwU I wost >_< minye ^w^ eye uWu in >w< waying x3 the >w< pwize ;;w;; aboawd, 
:33 [To SUFFOLK] xDD And OwO thewefowe, to xDD wevenge :33 it, shalt xDD thou :3 die; 
xDD And UwU so >_> shouwd OwO these, >_> if UwU I ^w^ might uWu have x3 my :33 wiww. 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. ^w^ Be nyot UwU so wash; OwO take ransom, wet ^.^ him wive. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Wook on x3 my ;;w;; Geowge, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a gentweman: 
>_< Wate ;;w;; me uWu at >_> what xDD thou wiwt, xDD thou shalt be paid. 
WHITMORE. xDD And UwU so ^w^ am ^.^ I: x3 my xDD nyame >_> is Wawtew Whitmowe. 
How >_< nyow! Why ÚwÚ stawt'st thou? What, xDD doth :33 death :33 affwight? 
x3 SUFFOWK. x3 Thy xDD nyame affwights uWu me, uWu in x3 whose >_> sound >_> is death. 
^-^ A x3 cunnying x3 man uWu did :33 cawcuwate x3 my birth 
xDD And told ;;w;; me :3 that ^.^ by UwU watew UwU I >_> shouwd :3 die; 
ÚwÚ Yet wet nyot ÚwÚ this >_< make uWu thee be ^.^ bwoody-minded; 
x3 Thy xDD nyame >_> is ÚwÚ Guawtiew, ^.^ being rightly ÚwÚ sounded. 
WHITMORE. ÚwÚ Guawtiew ow :3 Wawtew, which >w< it >_> is UwU I :3 cawe not: 
xDD Nyevew yet uWu did UwU base x3 dishonyouw blur UwU ouw xDD nyame 
OwO But with UwU ouw xDD swowd ^.^ we wip'd OwO away x3 the bwot; 
>_< Thewefowe, when ^.^ mewchant-wike UwU I ;;w;; seww UwU wevenge, 
x3 Bwoke be x3 my uWu swowd, x3 my :3 awms :33 town ÚwÚ and ^w^ defac'd, 
xDD And UwU I proclaim'd :3 a x3 cowawd ^w^ thwough x3 the wowwd. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Stay, Whitmore, fow >w< thy ÚwÚ pwisonyew >_> is :3 a >_< pwince, 
uWu The >w< Duke of ^.^ Suffowk, ;;w;; Wiwwiam UwU de UwU wa ^w^ Powe. 
WHITMORE. uWu The >w< Duke of :33 Suffowk muffled x3 up uWu in rags? 
x3 SUFFOWK. Ay, >_> but these rags OwO awe nyo ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the Duke: 
Juv ÚwÚ sometime OwO went :3 disguis'd, ÚwÚ and >w< why nyot >_< I? 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. OwO But Juv UwU was >_< nyevew x3 swain, >_< as xDD thou shalt >w< be. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Obscure ÚwÚ and ^-^ wowwy x3 swain, ^w^ King >_> Henwy's bwood, 
uWu The ^.^ honyouwabwe :3 bwood of Lancaster, 
:3 Must nyot be x3 shed ^.^ by xDD such :3 a jaded groom. 
Hast xDD thou nyot >w< kiss'd >w< thy uWu hand ÚwÚ and hewd x3 my >w< stiwwup, 
uWu Baweheaded pwodded ^.^ by x3 my foot-cloth ;;w;; muwe, 
xDD And xDD thought uWu thee ^w^ happy when UwU I >_> shook x3 my head? 
How often x3 hast xDD thou :33 waited uWu at x3 my cup, 
UwU Fed from x3 my :3 twenchew, knyeew'd down uWu at x3 the board, 
x3 When UwU I uWu have feasted with xDD Queen ^-^ Mawgawet? 
ÚwÚ Wemembew :33 it, ÚwÚ and wet >w< it >_< make uWu thee ^.^ cwestfaww'n, 
Ay, ÚwÚ and allay OwO thus >w< thy OwO abowtive pride, 
How uWu in UwU ouw voiding-wobby x3 hast xDD thou :33 stood 
xDD And :33 duwy :33 waited fow x3 my xDD coming forth. 
This uWu hand of >_< minye hath ^-^ wwit uWu in >w< thy UwU behawf, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe UwU shaww >w< it >_> chawm >w< thy riotous :33 tongue. 
WHITMORE. ÚwÚ Speak, xDD Captain, UwU shaww UwU I x3 stab x3 the ^.^ fowwown swain? 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. First wet x3 my wowds x3 stab :3 him, >_< as ^.^ he hath x3 me. 
x3 SUFFOWK. >w< Base :33 swave, >w< thy wowds OwO awe bwunt, ÚwÚ and UwU so awt thou. 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. ^.^ Convey ^.^ him hence, ÚwÚ and on UwU ouw longboat's x3 side 
OwO Stwike x3 off :33 his >_> head. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^.^ Thou ^w^ daw'st >_> nyot, fow >w< thy own. 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. >_< Poowe! 
x3 SUFFOWK. Poowe? 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. Ay, kennyew, puddle, >_< sink, x3 whose fiwth ÚwÚ and OwO diwt 
Twoubwes x3 the :33 siwvew ^-^ spwing :3 whewe England OwO dwinks; 
Now xDD wiww UwU I :3 dam x3 up ÚwÚ this >w< thy ^w^ yawnying xDD mouth 
For swallowing x3 the treasure of x3 the weawm. 
x3 Thy :3 wips, :3 that >w< kiss'd x3 the :3 Queen, UwU shaww :33 sweep x3 the ^.^ gwound; 
xDD And xDD thou :3 that ;;w;; smiw'dst uWu at ÚwÚ good >w< Duke xDD Humphwey's :33 death 
^w^ Against x3 the senseless >_< winds shalt >w< gwin uWu in vain, 
Who uWu in x3 contempt UwU shaww xDD hiss uWu at uWu thee again; 
xDD And >w< wedded be xDD thou to x3 the ^-^ hags of heww 
For daring to affy :3 a ^-^ mighty ;;w;; wowd 
uWu Unto x3 the daughter of :3 a :33 wowthwess OwO king, 
>_> Having :3 nyeithew uWu subject, ^.^ weawth, nor ÚwÚ diadem. 
^-^ By deviwish UwU powicy awt xDD thou grown ^.^ gweat, 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 ambitious OwO Sywwa, overgorg'd 
With ^-^ gobbets of >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's xDD bweeding ;;w;; heawt. 
^-^ By uWu thee Anjou ÚwÚ and ^w^ Mainye :3 wewe sold to Fwance; 
uWu The UwU fawse uWu wevowting Normans thorough uWu thee 
:3 Disdain to caww >_> us wowd; ÚwÚ and :33 Picawdy 
>_< Hath :3 swain uWu theiw >w< guvwnyows, suwpwis'd UwU ouw >_> fowts, 
xDD And sent x3 the ^-^ wagged ^-^ sowdiews wounded >_> home. 
uWu The princely Wawwick, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ Nyeviws all, 
>_< Whose :3 dweadfuw :33 swowds :3 wewe >_< nyevew drawn uWu in vain, 
;;w;; As >w< hating ÚwÚ thee, OwO awe ;;w;; wising x3 up uWu in arms; 
xDD And nyow x3 the ;;w;; house of York- thwust from x3 the >_< cwown 
^-^ By >_> shamefuw murder of :3 a ;;w;; guiwtwess x3 king 
xDD And wofty OwO pwoud encwoaching ^-^ tywanny- 
Burns with revenging ^w^ fiwe, x3 whose hopeful cowouws 
ÚwÚ Advance UwU ouw >_> hawf-fac'd sun, :33 stwiving to shinye, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the which >_> is ^-^ wwit >_> 'Invitis >_< nyubibus.' 
uWu The >w< commons OwO hewe uWu in Kent OwO awe x3 up uWu in arms; 
xDD And to ^w^ concwude, x3 wepwoach ÚwÚ and :33 beggawy 
Is x3 cwept x3 into x3 the ^w^ pawace of UwU ouw OwO King, 
xDD And aww ^.^ by thee. >_> Away! :33 convey ^.^ him x3 hence. 
x3 SUFFOWK. x3 O :3 that UwU I :3 wewe :3 a ^.^ god, to >w< shoot fowth >_> thundew 
>_> Upon these x3 pawtwy, uWu sewviwe, abject dwudges! 
>w< Smaww ^.^ things >_< make UwU base ;;w;; men xDD pwoud: ÚwÚ this viwwain UwU hewe, 
uWu Being UwU captain of :3 a uWu pinnyace, threatens ^.^ mowe 
Than Bargulus, x3 the >w< stwong :33 Iwwywian xDD piwate. 
Drones uWu suck nyot uWu eagwes' :3 bwood >_> but rob xDD beehives. 
^.^ It >_> is xDD impossibwe :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd ^-^ die 
^-^ By xDD such :3 a ^-^ wowwy ^.^ vassaw >_< as thysewf. 
x3 Thy wowds move xDD wage ÚwÚ and nyot ^-^ wemowse uWu in x3 me. 
UwU I OwO go of ^-^ message from x3 the xDD Queen to Fwance: 
UwU I :3 chawge uWu thee >w< waft ;;w;; me >w< safewy OwO cwoss x3 the Channyew. 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. :33 Wawtew- 
WHITMORE. ^.^ Come, ^.^ Suffowk, UwU I ^w^ must >w< waft uWu thee to >w< thy death. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Gewidus xDD timow ^-^ occupat >_> awtus: >w< it >_> is uWu thee UwU I ;;w;; feaw. 
WHITMORE. ^.^ Thou shalt uWu have cause to feaw >w< befowe UwU I OwO weave thee. 
What, OwO awe OwO ye >w< daunted ^.^ nyow? Now xDD wiww OwO ye stoop? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, entweat :3 him, speak ^.^ him >_< faiw. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Suffolk's ÚwÚ impewiaw >_> tongue >_> is UwU stem ÚwÚ and wough, 
xDD Us'd to >_> command, untaught to pwead fow UwU favouw. 
>_< Faw be >w< it ^.^ we >_> shouwd honour xDD such >_< as these 
With humble ^.^ suit: no, rather wet x3 my >_> head 
^-^ Stoop to x3 the >_< bwock than these knees bow to xDD any 
:3 Save to x3 the ^w^ God of heaven ÚwÚ and to x3 my uWu king; 
xDD And :33 soonyew UwU dance ;;w;; upon :3 a bwoody ^w^ powe 
Than stand uncover'd to x3 the uWu vuwgaw groom. 
;;w;; Twue >_> nyobiwity >_> is >_> exempt from ^w^ feaw: 
uWu Mowe ^.^ can UwU I UwU beaw than xDD you dawe x3 execute. 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. ^-^ Hawe ^.^ him away, ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him tawk nyo more. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^.^ Come, xDD sowdiews, x3 show >_> what OwO cwuewty OwO ye ^-^ can, 
:33 That ÚwÚ this x3 my :33 death OwO may >_< nyevew be forgot- 
UwU Gweat ;;w;; men ;;w;; oft ^-^ die ^.^ by ^-^ viwe >_> bezonyians: 
^-^ A Roman sworder ÚwÚ and uWu banditto ;;w;; swave 
Murder'd x3 sweet x3 Tuwwy; ^-^ Bwutus' ^.^ bastawd uWu hand 
uWu Stabb'd Julius OwO Caesaw; x3 savage islanders 
ÚwÚ Pompey x3 the Great; ÚwÚ and :33 Suffowk dies ^.^ by >_> piwates. 
uWu Exit WALTER with :3 SUFFOWK 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. xDD And >_< as fow OwO these, x3 whose wansom ^.^ we uWu have ^-^ set, 
^.^ It >_> is UwU ouw :3 pweasuwe one of them uWu depawt; 
Therefore come xDD you with us, ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him ÚwÚ go. 
Exeunt aww >_> but x3 the uWu FIWST ^-^ GENTWEMAN 

^.^ We-entew >_< WHITMOWE with SUFFOWK'S >w< body 

WHITMORE. >_> Thewe wet :33 his >_> head ÚwÚ and wifewess >w< body wie, 
Untiw x3 the xDD Queen :33 his mistwess ^.^ buwy :3 it. uWu Exit 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. x3 O barbarous ÚwÚ and bwoody ^-^ spectacwe! 
ÚwÚ His >w< body xDD wiww UwU I UwU beaw >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; King. 
;;w;; If ^.^ he xDD wevenge >w< it >_> nyot, yet xDD wiww :33 his >_< fwiends; 
^w^ So xDD wiww x3 the :3 Queen, :3 that UwU wiving hewd ^.^ him deaw. 
uWu Exit with x3 the >w< body 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
:3 Bwackheath 

Entew uWu GEOWGE ;;w;; BEVIS ÚwÚ and >_< JOHN uWu HOWWAND 

UwU GEOWGE. :3 Come ÚwÚ and get uWu thee :3 a uWu swowd, ^w^ though UwU made of :3 a ÚwÚ wath; ;;w;; they uWu have 
:33 been x3 up these >w< two days. 
OwO JOHN. ^-^ They uWu have x3 the ^.^ mowe >_< nyeed to :33 sweep now, UwU then. 
UwU GEOWGE. UwU I tell uWu thee x3 Jack x3 Cade x3 the clothier means to :3 dwess x3 the 
commonwealth, ÚwÚ and turn :33 it, ÚwÚ and uWu set :3 a x3 nyew nap ;;w;; upon :3 it. 
OwO JOHN. ^w^ So ^.^ he xDD had need, fow UwU 'tis threadbare. xDD Weww, UwU I >_> say >w< it UwU was >_< nyevew 
^.^ mewwy wowwd uWu in England xDD since gentlemen ^-^ came :33 up. 
UwU GEOWGE. x3 O >w< misewabwe >_> age! x3 Viwtue >_> is nyot :3 wegawded uWu in UwU handicwaftsmen. 
OwO JOHN. uWu The >_> nyobiwity think ^w^ scown to OwO go uWu in >_> weathew ^.^ apwons. 
UwU GEOWGE. Nyay, >_> mowe, x3 the >_< King's Counciw OwO awe nyo ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wowkmen. 
OwO JOHN. ^w^ Twue; ÚwÚ and yet >w< it >_> is uWu said >_< 'Wabouw uWu in >w< thy >_< vocation'; which >_> is 
>_< as much to >_> say >_< as ^w^ 'Wet x3 the magistwates be labouring >w< men'; ÚwÚ and 
>_< thewefowe >_> shouwd ^.^ we be ÚwÚ magistwates. 
UwU GEOWGE. ^.^ Thou x3 hast ;;w;; hit uWu it; fow there's nyo xDD bettew xDD sign of :3 a >_< bwave 
^-^ mind than :3 a x3 hawd >w< hand. 
OwO JOHN. UwU I >_> see >w< them! UwU I >_> see >w< them! >_> Thewe's Best's x3 son, x3 the :3 tannyew of 
^.^ Wingham- 
UwU GEOWGE. >w< He UwU shaww uWu have x3 the ÚwÚ skins of UwU ouw >_< enyemies to >_< make :3 dog's 
>_> weathew uWu of. 
OwO JOHN. xDD And UwU Dick x3 the butchew- 
UwU GEOWGE. UwU Then >_> is x3 sin >w< stwuck ;;w;; down, ^.^ wike >w< an >_< ox, ÚwÚ and iniquity's ^w^ thwoat 
:3 cut ^.^ wike :3 a xDD cawf. 
OwO JOHN. xDD And Smith x3 the weaver- 
UwU GEOWGE. xDD Awgo, uWu theiw :3 thwead of >w< wife >_> is spun. 
OwO JOHN. ^.^ Come, come, >_> wet's faww uWu in with OwO them. 

>_< Dwum. Entew CADE, xDD DICK ^-^ THE BUTCHEW, UwU SMITH 
^-^ THE WEAVEW, ÚwÚ and :3 a OwO SAWYEW, with :3 infinyite xDD nyumbews 

ÚwÚ CADE. We John Cade, UwU so tewm'd of UwU ouw ^.^ supposed ^-^ fathew- 
:3 DICK. :3 [Aside] :33 Ow UwU wathew, of stealing :3 a :33 cade of hewwings. 
ÚwÚ CADE. For UwU ouw >_< enyemies UwU shaww faww >w< befowe us, inspired with x3 the 
^w^ spiwit of ^.^ putting down >w< kings ÚwÚ and :33 pwinces- ÚwÚ command x3 siwence. 
:3 DICK. Silence! 
ÚwÚ CADE. OwO My >w< fathew UwU was :3 a OwO Mowtimew- 
:3 DICK. :3 [Aside] >w< He UwU was >w< an xDD honyest x3 man ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 bwickwayew. 
ÚwÚ CADE. OwO My mothew :3 a ÚwÚ Pwantagenyet- 
:3 DICK. :3 [Aside] UwU I UwU knyew her well; ^.^ she UwU was :3 a :33 midwife. 
ÚwÚ CADE. OwO My >w< wife >_> descended of x3 the Lacies- 
:3 DICK. :3 [Aside] :33 She UwU was, :33 indeed, :3 a :3 pedwaw's ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and sold UwU many 
waces. 
xDD SMITH. :3 [Aside] OwO But nyow of late, nyot able to travel with her ÚwÚ fuww'd 
>w< pack, ^.^ she ÚwÚ washes :33 bucks OwO hewe uWu at >_> home. 
ÚwÚ CADE. Therefore ^w^ am UwU I of >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe ÚwÚ house. 
:3 DICK. :3 [Aside] Ay, ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ faith, x3 the field >_> is >_> honyouwabwe, ÚwÚ and there 
UwU was ^.^ he born, :33 undew :3 a ÚwÚ hedge, fow :33 his >w< fathew xDD had >_< nyevew :3 a ;;w;; house >_> but 
x3 the cage. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ;;w;; Vawiant UwU I am. 
xDD SMITH. :3 [Aside] >_> 'A ^w^ must needs; fow :33 beggawy >_> is ^w^ vawiant. 
ÚwÚ CADE. UwU I ^w^ am able to OwO enduwe :33 much. 
:3 DICK. :3 [Aside] No ;;w;; question of :33 that; fow UwU I uWu have :3 seen ^.^ him x3 whipt >w< thwee 
xDD mawket OwO days together. 
ÚwÚ CADE. UwU I feaw :3 nyeithew xDD swowd nor >_> fiwe. 
xDD SMITH. :3 [Aside] >w< He >_< nyeed nyot feaw x3 the uWu swowd, fow :33 his >_> coat >_> is of 
:33 pwoof. 
:3 DICK. :3 [Aside] OwO But uWu methinks ^.^ he >_> shouwd stand uWu in feaw of ^w^ fiwe, ^.^ being 
burnt :33 i' x3 th' uWu hand fow stealing of ^-^ sheep. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ^w^ Be ^w^ bwave, >w< then, fow x3 youw UwU captain >_> is ^w^ bwave, ÚwÚ and x3 vows 
;;w;; wefowmation. >_> Thewe UwU shaww be uWu in England ÚwÚ seven >w< hawfpenny woaves 
sold fow :3 a >_< penny; x3 the ;;w;; thwee-hoop'd >_> pot UwU shaww uWu have ;;w;; ten xDD hoops; ÚwÚ and 
UwU I xDD wiww >_< make >w< it fewony to ÚwÚ dwink UwU smaww beew. All x3 the weawm UwU shaww be 
uWu in ^w^ common, ÚwÚ and uWu in ;;w;; Cheapside UwU shaww x3 my UwU pawfwey OwO go to grass. xDD And 
when UwU I ^w^ am UwU king- >_< as x3 king UwU I xDD wiww be 
uWu AWW. ^w^ God :3 save x3 youw Majesty! 
ÚwÚ CADE. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, ÚwÚ good ^w^ peopwe- there UwU shaww be nyo ;;w;; monyey; aww UwU shaww 
eat ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dwink on x3 my scowe, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww apparel them aww uWu in one 
wivewy, :3 that ;;w;; they OwO may agree ^.^ wike bwothews ÚwÚ and :33 wowship ;;w;; me uWu theiw 
OwO wowd. 
:3 DICK. uWu The xDD fiwst ^.^ thing ^.^ we UwU do, >_> wet's OwO kiww aww x3 the wawyews. 
ÚwÚ CADE. Nyay, :3 that UwU I >_> mean to xDD do. Is nyot ÚwÚ this :3 a lamentable ÚwÚ thing, :3 that 
of x3 the uWu skin of >w< an innocent :3 wamb >_> shouwd be UwU made ^.^ pawchment? :33 That 
pawchment, ^.^ being ^-^ scwibbw'd uWu o'ew, >_> shouwd undo :3 a man? ;;w;; Some >_> say x3 the 
>w< bee >w< stings; >_> but UwU I >_> say UwU 'tis x3 the xDD bee's wax; fow UwU I uWu did >_> but UwU seaw >_> once 
to :3 a ÚwÚ thing, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU was >_< nyevew >_< minye UwU own x3 man since. How >_< nyow! Who's 
OwO thewe? 

Entew some, x3 bwinging uWu in x3 the CLERK ÚwÚ OF xDD CHATHAM 

xDD SMITH. uWu The OwO cwewk of ;;w;; Chatham. >w< He ^.^ can >w< wwite ÚwÚ and ^w^ wead ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cast 
accompt. 
ÚwÚ CADE. x3 O UwU monstwous! 
xDD SMITH. We >_> took ^.^ him >w< setting of boys' ^-^ copies. 
ÚwÚ CADE. >_> Hewe's :3 a :33 viwwain! 
xDD SMITH. x3 Has :3 a ^w^ book uWu in :33 his uWu pocket with red x3 wettews ÚwÚ in't. 
ÚwÚ CADE. Nyay, xDD then ^.^ he >_> is :3 a OwO conjuwew. 
:3 DICK. Nyay, ^.^ he ^.^ can >_< make obligations ÚwÚ and >w< wwite court-hand. 
ÚwÚ CADE. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy ÚwÚ fow't; x3 the x3 man >_> is :3 a OwO pwopew ^w^ man, of >_< minye honour; 
^w^ unwess UwU I find ^.^ him x3 guiwty, ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot die. :3 Come hithew, sirrah, 
UwU I ^w^ must >_> examinye thee. >_> What >_> is >w< thy :3 nyame? 
:33 CWEWK. Emmanuel. 
:3 DICK. ^-^ They use to >w< wwite >w< it on x3 the ;;w;; top of letters; 'twill OwO go x3 hawd 
with OwO you. 
ÚwÚ CADE. Let ;;w;; me >_< awonye. uWu Dost xDD thou use to >w< wwite >w< thy :33 nyame, ow x3 hast xDD thou :3 a 
mark to ;;w;; thysewf, ^.^ wike :3 a xDD honyest pwain-deawing man? 
:33 CWEWK. UwU Siw, UwU I >_> thank :33 God, UwU I uWu have :33 been UwU so weww ^.^ bwought x3 up :3 that UwU I ^.^ can 
>w< wwite x3 my nyame. 
uWu AWW. >w< He hath confess'd. UwU Away with x3 him! He's :3 a viwwain ÚwÚ and :3 a 
traitor. 
ÚwÚ CADE. UwU Away with :3 him, UwU I ;;w;; say! Hang ^.^ him with :33 his OwO pen ÚwÚ and inkhorn about 
:33 his ;;w;; nyeck. uWu Exit one with x3 the CLERK 

Entew MICHAEL 

OwO MICHAEW. :3 Whewe's UwU ouw General? 
ÚwÚ CADE. :3 Hewe UwU I am, xDD thou xDD pawticuwaw UwU fewwow. 
OwO MICHAEW. :33 Fwy, fly, xDD fwy! Sir Humphrey Staffowd ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew OwO awe 
x3 hawd UwU by, with x3 the >_< King's forces. 
ÚwÚ CADE. >_> Stand, villain, x3 stand, ow I'll UwU feww uWu thee down. >w< He UwU shaww be 
encount'wed with :3 a x3 man >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as himself. >w< He >_> is >_> but :3 a UwU knyight, 
>_> is >_< 'a? 
OwO MICHAEW. No. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ;;w;; To equal :3 him, UwU I xDD wiww >_< make mysewf :3 a knight presently. 
>_< [Knyeews] ^-^ Wise up, Sir John Mortimer. >_> [Wises] Now uWu have uWu at x3 him! 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW HUMPHREY ^w^ STAFFOWD ÚwÚ and UwU WIWWIAM 
:33 his brother, with drum ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

OwO STAFFOWD. xDD Webewwious xDD hinds, x3 the fiwth ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ scum of UwU Kent, 
>_< Mawk'd fow x3 the ;;w;; gawwows, uWu way x3 youw >_< weapons down; 
x3 Home to x3 youw cottages, ^w^ fowsake ÚwÚ this :33 gwoom; 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> is mewcifuw >_> if xDD you revolt. 
UwU WIWWIAM OwO STAFFOWD. OwO But ;;w;; angwy, wwathfuw, ÚwÚ and ^-^ incwin'd to bwood, 
;;w;; If xDD you OwO go fowwawd; >_< thewefowe yield ow die. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ;;w;; As fow these siwken-coated swaves, UwU I pass x3 nyot; 
^.^ It >_> is to UwU you, ÚwÚ good >_> peopwe, :3 that UwU I :3 speak, 
^w^ O'ew :33 whom, uWu in time to come, UwU I UwU hope to >w< weign; 
For UwU I ^w^ am wightfuw heir >w< unto x3 the crown. 
OwO STAFFOWD. uWu Viwwain, >w< thy >w< fathew UwU was :3 a ^w^ pwastewew; 
xDD And xDD thou >w< thysewf :3 a ÚwÚ sheawman, awt xDD thou ^w^ nyot? 
ÚwÚ CADE. xDD And Adam UwU was :3 a gardener. 
UwU WIWWIAM OwO STAFFOWD. xDD And >_> what of ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ CADE. OwO Mawwy, :33 this: Edmund Mortimer, ^-^ Eaww of March, 
uWu Mawwied x3 the >w< Duke of x3 Cwawence' ^w^ daughtew, uWu did ^.^ he ^w^ nyot? 
OwO STAFFOWD. Ay, sir. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ^-^ By her ^.^ he xDD had >w< two x3 chiwdwen uWu at one xDD biwth. 
UwU WIWWIAM OwO STAFFOWD. >w< That's >w< fawse. 
ÚwÚ CADE. Ay, there's x3 the OwO question; >_> but UwU I >_> say UwU 'tis true. 
uWu The :33 ewdew of them ^.^ being put to xDD nyuwse, 
Was ^.^ by :3 a >_> beggaw-woman :3 stow'n away, 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ ignyowant of :33 his birth ÚwÚ and >_< pawentage, 
^w^ Became :3 a bricklayer when ^.^ he ^-^ came to age. 
ÚwÚ His >_< son ^w^ am x3 I; UwU deny >w< it >_> if xDD you ;;w;; can. 
:3 DICK. Nyay, UwU 'tis ^w^ too true; >_< thewefowe ^.^ he UwU shaww be king. 
xDD SMITH. UwU Siw, ^.^ he UwU made :3 a x3 chimnyey uWu in x3 my father's house, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD bwicks 
OwO awe ^.^ awive uWu at ÚwÚ this day to >w< testify uWu it; >_< thewefowe UwU deny >w< it not. 
OwO STAFFOWD. xDD And xDD wiww xDD you cwedit ÚwÚ this UwU base ^.^ dwudge's wowds 
:33 That xDD speaks ^.^ he xDD knyows nyot UwU what? 
uWu AWW. Ay, marry, xDD wiww UwU we; >_< thewefowe get OwO ye ;;w;; gonye. 
UwU WIWWIAM OwO STAFFOWD. x3 Jack Cade, x3 the >w< Duke of York hath ÚwÚ taught xDD you UwU this. 
ÚwÚ CADE. :3 [Aside] >w< He lies, fow UwU I ^.^ invented >w< it myself- Go ^.^ to, sirrah, 
tell x3 the ^w^ King from ;;w;; me :3 that fow :33 his father's ^w^ sake, Henwy x3 the 
:33 Fifth, uWu in x3 whose time >_< boys OwO went to ÚwÚ span-countew fow OwO Fwench :33 cwowns, 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 content ^.^ he UwU shaww >w< weign; >_> but I'll be Protector uvw ^.^ him. 
:3 DICK. xDD And furthermore, we'll uWu have x3 the Lord ^w^ Say's >_> head fow ^-^ sewwing 
x3 the x3 dukedom of >_> Mainye. 
ÚwÚ CADE. xDD And ÚwÚ good UwU weason; fow theweby >_> is England ^.^ main'd ÚwÚ and >_> fain to OwO go 
with :3 a staff, >_> but :3 that x3 my puissance ÚwÚ howds >w< it :33 up. Fellow OwO kings, UwU I 
tell xDD you :3 that :3 that Lord x3 Say hath ;;w;; gewded x3 the >_> commonweawth ÚwÚ and UwU made 
>w< it >w< an eunyuch; ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe than :3 that, ^.^ he ^.^ can speak Fwench, ÚwÚ and 
>_< thewefowe ^.^ he >_> is :3 a traitor. 
OwO STAFFOWD. x3 O gwoss ÚwÚ and >w< misewabwe >w< ignyowance! 
ÚwÚ CADE. Nyay, answew >_> if xDD you can; x3 the Fwenchmen OwO awe UwU ouw enemies. Go ^.^ to, 
>w< then, UwU I ^w^ ask >_> but :33 this: ^.^ can ^.^ he :3 that xDD speaks with x3 the >_> tongue of >w< an 
;;w;; enyemy be :3 a ÚwÚ good xDD counsewwow, ow no? 
uWu AWW. :3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe we'll uWu have :33 his >_> head. 
UwU WIWWIAM OwO STAFFOWD. xDD Weww, ^-^ seeing ^-^ gentwe wowds xDD wiww nyot prevail, 
ÚwÚ Assaiw them with x3 the ^.^ awmy of x3 the ;;w;; King. 
OwO STAFFOWD. Herald, :3 away; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ thwoughout every :33 town 
ÚwÚ Pwocwaim them traitors :3 that OwO awe x3 up with ^-^ Cade; 
:33 That UwU those which fwy >w< befowe x3 the ÚwÚ battwe uWu ends 
>w< May, even uWu in uWu theiw x3 wives'and chiwdwen's UwU sight, 
^w^ Be :33 hang'd x3 up fow ^w^ exampwe uWu at uWu theiw x3 doows. 
xDD And xDD you :3 that be x3 the >_< King's OwO fwiends, ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. 
Exeunt x3 the OwO TWO ^.^ STAFFOWDS ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 
ÚwÚ CADE. xDD And xDD you :3 that wuv x3 the >w< commons ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. 
Now x3 show youwsewves ÚwÚ men; UwU 'tis fow OwO wibewty. 
We xDD wiww nyot OwO weave one uWu wowd, one gentleman; 
^w^ Spawe >_< nyonye >_> but xDD such >_< as OwO go uWu in ^w^ cwouted shoon, 
For ;;w;; they OwO awe :33 thwifty xDD honyest ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and xDD such 
;;w;; As >_< wouwd- >_> but :3 that ;;w;; they dawe nyot- OwO take UwU ouw pawts. 
:3 DICK. ^-^ They OwO awe aww uWu in order, ÚwÚ and :33 mawch toward >_> us. 
ÚwÚ CADE. OwO But xDD then OwO awe ^.^ we uWu in order when ^.^ we OwO awe UwU most x3 out of ^-^ owdew. ^.^ Come, 
:33 mawch :33 fowwawd. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of :3 Bwackheath 

^.^ Awawums to x3 the x3 fight, wherein both x3 the ^.^ STAFFOWDS OwO awe ^w^ swain. 
Entew CADE ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west 

ÚwÚ CADE. :3 Whewe's ÚwÚ Dick, x3 the ;;w;; butchew of OwO Ashfowd? 
:3 DICK. Here, sir. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ^-^ They UwU feww >w< befowe uWu thee ^.^ wike sheep ÚwÚ and oxen, ÚwÚ and xDD thou uWu behavedst 
>w< thysewf >_< as >_> if xDD thou >w< hadst :33 been uWu in ^.^ thinye UwU own >_> swaughtew-house; 
>_< thewefowe OwO thus xDD wiww UwU I wewawd ;;w;; thee- x3 the ^-^ Went UwU shaww be >_< as ^-^ wong 
again >_< as >w< it ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt uWu have :3 a x3 wicence to OwO kiww fow :3 a 
:3 hundwed >_> wacking onye. 
:3 DICK. UwU I ^.^ desiwe nyo more. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ^.^ And, to speak truth, xDD thou desewv'st nyo :3 wess. [Putting on ÚwÚ SIW 
HUMPHREY'S ^w^ bwigandinye] This ;;w;; monyument of x3 the OwO victowy xDD wiww UwU I >_> beaw, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< bodies UwU shaww be >w< dwagged uWu at x3 my UwU howse heels >w< tiww UwU I UwU do come 
to Wondon, :3 whewe ^.^ we xDD wiww uWu have x3 the mayor's xDD swowd :3 bownye >w< befowe >_> us. 
:3 DICK. ;;w;; If ^.^ we >_> mean to x3 thwive ÚwÚ and UwU do UwU good, bweak open x3 the gaows ÚwÚ and 
wet x3 out x3 the pwisonyews. 
ÚwÚ CADE. Fear nyot :3 that, UwU I :33 wawwant thee. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's :33 mawch uWu towawds 
OwO Wondon. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING with :3 a supplication, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< QUEEN with SUFFOWK'S head; 
x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF xDD BUCKINGHAM, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< WOWD SAY 

QUEEN. x3 Oft uWu have UwU I heard :3 that grief softens x3 the ^-^ mind 
xDD And x3 makes >w< it x3 feawfuw ÚwÚ and degenyewate; 
^w^ Think >_< thewefowe on xDD wevenge ÚwÚ and xDD cease to >_> weep. 
OwO But who ^.^ can xDD cease to >_> weep, ÚwÚ and wook on :3 this? 
:3 Hewe OwO may :33 his >_> head >_< wie on x3 my >_> thwobbing >_< bweast; 
OwO But where's x3 the >w< body :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd :33 embwace? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> What answew x3 makes x3 youw Gwace to x3 the ^.^ webews' 
OwO suppwication? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. I'll >_> send x3 some >w< howy xDD bishop to >_< entweat; 
For ^w^ God UwU fowbid UwU so UwU many :33 simpwe >w< souws 
Should xDD pewish ^.^ by x3 the swowd! xDD And UwU I myself, 
Rather than bwoody >w< waw UwU shaww :3 cut them ^.^ showt, 
Will parley with x3 Jack x3 Cade uWu theiw genyewaw. 
OwO But ;;w;; stay, I'll ^w^ wead >w< it uvw >_> once ;;w;; again. 
QUEEN. xDD Ah, barbarous viwwains! >_< Hath ÚwÚ this lovely OwO face 
Rul'd ^.^ wike :3 a wandering planet uvw uWu me, 
xDD And couwd >w< it nyot enforce them to ÚwÚ wewent 
:33 That :3 wewe >_< unwowthy to behowd x3 the >w< same? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Lord Say, x3 Jack x3 Cade hath sworn to uWu have >w< thy >_> head. 
>_< SAY. Ay, >_> but UwU I UwU hope x3 youw >_> Highnyess UwU shaww uWu have ÚwÚ his. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How now, madam! 
UwU Stiww lamenting ÚwÚ and >w< mouwnying fow Suffolk's UwU death? 
UwU I feaw uWu me, xDD wuv, >_> if :3 that UwU I xDD had :33 been >_< dead, 
^.^ Thou wouldst nyot uWu have mouwn'd UwU so much fow x3 me. 
QUEEN. :3 Nyo, x3 my xDD wuv, UwU I >_> shouwd nyot ^w^ mouwn, >_> but ^-^ die fow thee. 

Entew ^-^ A MESSENGEW 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How >_< nyow! >_> What nyews? Why UwU com'st xDD thou uWu in xDD such >w< haste? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The ÚwÚ webews OwO awe uWu in uWu Southwawk; fly, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
x3 Jack x3 Cade proclaims >_< himsewf Lord Mortimer, 
x3 Descended from x3 the >w< Duke of x3 Cwawence' house, 
xDD And ;;w;; cawws x3 youw Gwace xDD usuwpew, openly, 
xDD And x3 vows to >_< cwown >_< himsewf uWu in UwU Westminstew. 
ÚwÚ His ^.^ awmy >_> is :3 a ^-^ wagged ^.^ muwtitude 
Of ^.^ hinds ÚwÚ and >_> peasants, wude ÚwÚ and mewciwess; 
Sir Humphrey Staffowd ÚwÚ and :33 his brother's :33 death 
>_< Hath UwU given them >_< heawt ÚwÚ and couwage to ^-^ pwoceed. 
All schowaws, ;;w;; wawyews, courtiers, xDD gentwemen, 
^-^ They caww UwU fawse caterpillars ÚwÚ and intend uWu theiw death. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 O graceless :3 men! ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what ;;w;; they xDD do. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, uWu wetiwe to :33 Kiwwingwowth 
Untiw :3 a powew be >_> wais'd to put them down. 
QUEEN. xDD Ah, :3 wewe x3 the >w< Duke of :33 Suffowk nyow ^.^ awive, 
;;w;; These Kentish ÚwÚ webews ^.^ wouwd be >w< soon xDD appeas'd! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Lord Say, x3 the traitors ^-^ hate ÚwÚ thee; 
Therefore OwO away with >_> us to ^.^ Kiwwingwowth. 
>_< SAY. ^w^ So ^w^ might x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's ÚwÚ pewson be uWu in danger. 
uWu The ^.^ sight of ;;w;; me >_> is uWu odious uWu in uWu theiw eyes; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU city xDD wiww UwU I xDD stay 
xDD And ^w^ wive awonye >_< as secret >_< as UwU I may. 

Entew anyothew MESSENGEW 

^w^ SECOND x3 MESSENGEW. x3 Jack x3 Cade hath >_< gotten ;;w;; Wondon uWu Bwidge. 
uWu The :3 citizens fwy ÚwÚ and ^w^ fowsake uWu theiw ^.^ houses; 
uWu The wascaw >_> peopwe, ^w^ thiwsting ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ pwey, 
>_> Join with x3 the uWu twaitow; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they jointly >_< sweaw 
;;w;; To :33 spoiw x3 the UwU city ÚwÚ and x3 youw royal >_< couwt. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU Then :33 wingew >_> nyot, x3 my wowd; away, OwO take horse. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Come Mawgawet; :33 God, UwU ouw hope, xDD wiww succouw >_> us. 
QUEEN. OwO My UwU hope >_> is >w< gonye, nyow :33 Suffowk >_> is deceas'd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :33 [To >w< WOWD SAY] UwU Faweweww, x3 my uWu wowd, :33 twust nyot x3 the Kentish 
>_> webews. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Twust ^.^ nyobody, fow feaw xDD you be betray'd. 
>_< SAY. uWu The :33 twust UwU I uWu have >_> is uWu in >_< minye >w< innyocence, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe ^w^ am UwU I bold ÚwÚ and wesowute. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^-^ Towew 

Entew >w< WOWD SCALES >_> Upon x3 the Towew, x3 wawking. UwU Then enter >w< two ow >w< thwee xDD CITIZENS, 
bewow 

uWu SCAWES. How >_< nyow! Is x3 Jack x3 Cade slain? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. :3 Nyo, x3 my uWu wowd, nor ÚwÚ wikewy to be slain; fow ;;w;; they uWu have 
^.^ won x3 the bridge, UwU kiwwing aww UwU those :3 that withstand OwO them. 
uWu The Lord Mayow cwaves >_> aid of x3 youw honour from x3 the 
Towew, to ;;w;; defend x3 the UwU city from x3 the >_> webews. 
uWu SCAWES. >w< Such >_> aid >_< as UwU I ^.^ can ^-^ spawe xDD you UwU shaww >_> command, 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ am troubled OwO hewe with them >_< mysewf; 
uWu The ÚwÚ webews uWu have :3 assay'd to x3 win x3 the Towew. 
OwO But get xDD you to >_< Smithfiewd, ÚwÚ and gathew head, 
xDD And uWu thithew UwU I xDD wiww >_> send xDD you ^-^ Matthew :33 Goffe; 
Fight fow x3 youw OwO King, x3 youw country, ÚwÚ and x3 youw wives; 
xDD And >_> so, farewell, fow UwU I ^w^ must >w< hence ;;w;; again. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
OwO Wondon. Cannyon :3 stweet 

Entew JACK CADE ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ west, ÚwÚ and :33 stwikes :33 his uWu staff on ;;w;; Wondon UwU Stonye 

ÚwÚ CADE. Now >_> is ^-^ Mowtimew ;;w;; wowd of ÚwÚ this >_> city. xDD And UwU hewe, :3 sitting ;;w;; upon 
;;w;; Wondon OwO Stonye, UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ command :3 that, of x3 the ^.^ city's >w< cost, x3 the 
pissing >_> conduit >w< wun >_< nyothing >_> but claret winye ÚwÚ this xDD fiwst xDD yeaw of 
UwU ouw reign. xDD And nyow hencefowwawd >w< it UwU shaww be UwU tweason fow xDD any :3 that 
;;w;; cawws ;;w;; me othew than Lord Mortimer. 

Entew :3 a >_> SOWDIEW, wunnying 

uWu SOWDIEW. x3 Jack Cade! x3 Jack Cade! 
ÚwÚ CADE. Knock ^.^ him down :33 thewe. ^w^ [They OwO kiww >w< him] 
xDD SMITH. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this fewwow be >_< wise, he'ww >_< nyevew caww OwO ye x3 Jack x3 Cade mowe; 
UwU I think ^.^ he hath :3 a xDD vewy >w< faiw wawnying. 
:3 DICK. OwO My uWu wowd, there's >w< an ^.^ awmy OwO gathewed togethew uWu in ^w^ Smithfiewd. 
ÚwÚ CADE. :3 Come >w< then, >_> wet's OwO go >w< fight with OwO them. OwO But xDD fiwst OwO go ÚwÚ and uWu set 
;;w;; Wondon Bwidge on x3 fiwe; x3 and, >_> if xDD you ^-^ can, buwn down x3 the ^-^ Towew UwU too. 
^.^ Come, >_> wet's xDD away. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
OwO Wondon. Smithfiewd 

Alarums. ^.^ MATTHEW GOFFE >_> is x3 swain, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the rest. UwU Then enter JACK CADE, 
with :33 his >_< company 

ÚwÚ CADE. So, sirs. Now OwO go x3 some ÚwÚ and puww down x3 the ^w^ Savoy; ;;w;; othews to x3 th' 
^-^ Inns of Court; down with them all. 
:3 DICK. UwU I uWu have :3 a >_> suit >w< unto x3 youw wowdship. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ^w^ Be >w< it :3 a lordship, xDD thou shalt uWu have >w< it fow :3 that OwO wowd. 
:3 DICK. Onwy :3 that x3 the UwU waws of England OwO may come x3 out of x3 youw xDD mouth. 
OwO JOHN. :3 [Aside] Mass, 'twill be ^w^ sowe law :33 then; fow ^.^ he UwU was thwust uWu in 
x3 the xDD mouth with :3 a UwU speaw, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis nyot whole >_> yet. 
xDD SMITH. :3 [Aside] Nyay, John, >w< it xDD wiww be >w< stinking UwU waw; fow :33 his UwU bweath 
ÚwÚ stinks with uWu eating ^.^ toasted uWu cheese. 
ÚwÚ CADE. UwU I uWu have xDD thought ;;w;; upon uWu it; >w< it UwU shaww be :3 so. :33 Away, buwn aww x3 the 
wecowds of x3 the weawm. OwO My xDD mouth UwU shaww be x3 the ÚwÚ Pawwiament of 
^w^ Engwand. 
OwO JOHN. :3 [Aside] UwU Then ^.^ we OwO awe ^.^ wike to uWu have OwO biting xDD statutes, ^w^ unwess :33 his 
teeth be pull'd OwO out. 
ÚwÚ CADE. xDD And hencefowwawd aww ^.^ things UwU shaww be uWu in :33 common. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My uWu wowd, :3 a :33 pwize, :3 a prize! >_> Hewe's x3 the Lord Say, which 
sold x3 the UwU towns uWu in Fwance; ^.^ he :3 that UwU made >_> us x3 pay one ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty 
>w< fifteens, ÚwÚ and one >_< shinying to x3 the ^.^ pound, x3 the >w< wast :3 subsidy. 

Entew uWu GEOWGE ^w^ BEVIS, with x3 the >w< WOWD SAY 

ÚwÚ CADE. xDD Weww, ^.^ he UwU shaww be xDD beheaded fow >w< it ;;w;; ten times. xDD Ah, xDD thou say, 
xDD thou x3 sewge, x3 nyay, xDD thou OwO buckwam ^.^ wowd! Now awt xDD thou within :33 point 
;;w;; bwank of UwU ouw >_> juwisdiction regal. >_> What ;;w;; canst xDD thou answew to x3 my 
;;w;; Majesty fow ^.^ giving x3 up of Normandy >w< unto >_> Mounsieuw UwU Basimecu x3 the 
uWu Dauphin of France? ^w^ Be >w< it ÚwÚ knyown >w< unto uWu thee ^.^ by these >_> pwesence, even 
x3 the x3 pwesence of Lord Mortimer, :3 that UwU I ^w^ am x3 the >_< besom :3 that ^w^ must 
:33 sweep x3 the court x3 cwean of xDD such fiwth >_< as xDD thou art. ^.^ Thou x3 hast UwU most 
twaitowouswy cowwupted x3 the :33 youth of x3 the weawm uWu in erecting :3 a 
uWu gwammaw ÚwÚ schoow; ÚwÚ and wheweas, x3 befowe, UwU ouw forefathers xDD had nyo othew 
uWu books >_> but x3 the ÚwÚ scowe ÚwÚ and x3 the tawwy, xDD thou x3 hast caused ^-^ pwinting to 
be >w< us'd, x3 and, :33 contwawy to x3 the OwO King, :33 his :3 cwown, ÚwÚ and UwU dignyity, xDD thou 
x3 hast buiwt :3 a >_< papew-miww. ^.^ It xDD wiww be >_> pwuvd to >w< thy OwO face :3 that xDD thou 
x3 hast ;;w;; men about uWu thee :3 that usually tawk of :3 a xDD nyoun ÚwÚ and :3 a verb, ÚwÚ and 
xDD such UwU abominyabwe wowds >_< as nyo Christian ear ^.^ can OwO enduwe to heaw. 
^.^ Thou x3 hast uWu appointed justices of ÚwÚ peace, to caww poor ;;w;; men >w< befowe 
them about uWu mattews ;;w;; they :3 wewe nyot able to answer. :33 Moweuvw, xDD thou 
x3 hast put them uWu in pwison, ÚwÚ and uWu because ;;w;; they couwd nyot wead, xDD thou 
x3 hast :33 hang'd ÚwÚ them, xDD when, :33 indeed, >w< onwy fow :3 that cause ;;w;; they uWu have 
:33 been UwU most ÚwÚ wowthy to wive. ^.^ Thou dost uWu wide uWu in :3 a >_< foot-cwoth, dost 
xDD thou ^w^ nyot? 
>_< SAY. >_> What of ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ CADE. OwO Mawwy, xDD thou ought'st nyot to wet >w< thy UwU howse ^-^ weaw :3 a cloak, when 
^-^ honyestew ;;w;; men than xDD thou OwO go uWu in uWu theiw >_> hose ÚwÚ and UwU doubwets. 
:3 DICK. xDD And ^.^ wowk uWu in uWu theiw shirt :3 too, >_< as myself, fow ^w^ exampwe, :3 that ^w^ am 
:3 a x3 butchew. 
>_< SAY. >_> You ;;w;; men of Kent- 
:3 DICK. >_> What >_> say xDD you of ^w^ Kent? 
>_< SAY. Nyothing >_> but :33 this: UwU 'tis ^.^ 'bonya terra, mala >_< gens.' 
ÚwÚ CADE. UwU Away with :3 him, OwO away with x3 him! >w< He xDD speaks ÚwÚ Watin. 
>_< SAY. >w< Heaw ;;w;; me >_> but :3 speak, ÚwÚ and UwU beaw ;;w;; me :3 whewe xDD you :33 wiww. 
UwU Kent, uWu in x3 the :33 Commentawies Caesaw ;;w;; wwit, 
Is tewm'd x3 the UwU civiw'st :33 pwace of aww ÚwÚ this >_> iswe. 
ÚwÚ Sweet >_> is x3 the country, uWu because full of OwO wiches; 
uWu The OwO peopwe xDD wibewaw valiant, ÚwÚ active, :33 weawthy; 
>_< Which x3 makes ;;w;; me UwU hope xDD you OwO awe nyot >_< void of >_> pity. 
UwU I sold nyot ^-^ Mainye, UwU I wost nyot Nyowmandy; 
Yet, to OwO wecuvw ÚwÚ them, ^.^ wouwd wose x3 my life. 
Justice with ^.^ favouw uWu have UwU I awways donye; 
Pway'ws ÚwÚ and tears uWu have x3 mov'd uWu me, ^.^ gifts couwd ^-^ nyevew. 
x3 When uWu have UwU I ^.^ aught UwU exacted uWu at x3 youw ^.^ hands, 
OwO But to ÚwÚ maintain x3 the OwO King, x3 the ^w^ weawm, ÚwÚ and you? 
Large ^.^ gifts uWu have UwU I ÚwÚ bestow'd on :33 weawnyed xDD cwewks, 
>_< Because x3 my ^w^ book pwefeww'd ;;w;; me to x3 the OwO King, 
xDD And ^-^ seeing ÚwÚ ignyowance >_> is x3 the UwU cuwse of :33 God, 
^w^ Knyowwedge x3 the OwO wing xDD whewewith ^.^ we fwy to ^.^ heaven, 
OwO Unwess xDD you be >_< possess'd with deviwish ;;w;; spiwits 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot >_> but ÚwÚ fowbeaw to murder x3 me. 
This >_> tongue hath ^.^ pawwey'd >w< unto :33 foweign >w< kings 
For x3 youw behoof. 
ÚwÚ CADE. Tut, when struck'st xDD thou one ^w^ bwow uWu in x3 the field? 
>_< SAY. UwU Gweat ;;w;; men uWu have x3 weaching ^w^ hands. x3 Oft uWu have UwU I >w< stwuck 
>w< Those :3 that UwU I >_< nyevew ;;w;; saw, ÚwÚ and >w< stwuck them uWu dead. 
UwU GEOWGE. x3 O monstwous OwO cowawd! What, to come x3 behind folks? 
>_< SAY. ;;w;; These >_> cheeks OwO awe pawe fow ^w^ watching fow x3 youw UwU good. 
ÚwÚ CADE. Give ^.^ him :3 a ^w^ box ^.^ o' x3 th' eaw, ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD wiww >_< make x3 'em red ;;w;; again. 
>_< SAY. OwO Wong :3 sitting to determine poor men's ÚwÚ causes 
>_< Hath UwU made ;;w;; me full of sicknyess ÚwÚ and xDD diseases. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ^-^ Ye UwU shaww uWu have :3 a ;;w;; hempen caudle >w< then, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO hewp of >w< hatchet. 
:3 DICK. Why dost xDD thou OwO quivew, man? 
>_< SAY. uWu The pawsy, ÚwÚ and nyot ;;w;; feaw, >_> pwovokes x3 me. 
ÚwÚ CADE. Nyay, ^.^ he uWu nyods uWu at us, >_< as who >_> shouwd >_> say 'I'll be even with 
OwO you'; I'll >_> see >_> if :33 his >_> head xDD wiww stand steadier on :3 a >w< powe, ow >w< nyo. 
^.^ Take ^.^ him away, ÚwÚ and >_< behead ^.^ him. 
>_< SAY. Teww ;;w;; me: wherein uWu have UwU I uWu offended ^-^ most? 
:3 Have UwU I affected weawth ow UwU honyouw? :33 Speak. 
^w^ Awe x3 my uWu chests :3 fiww'd x3 up with extorted UwU gowd? 
Is x3 my apparel >_> sumptuous to behold? 
;;w;; Whom uWu have UwU I >_> injuw'd, :3 that OwO ye >_> seek x3 my UwU death? 
;;w;; These ^.^ hands OwO awe fwee from ;;w;; guiwtwess uWu bwoodshedding, 
This breast from hawbouwing fouw deceitful >w< thoughts. 
>_< O, wet ;;w;; me x3 wive! 
ÚwÚ CADE. :3 [Aside] UwU I x3 feew ^-^ wemowse uWu in mysewf with :33 his words; >_> but I'll 
>_> bwidwe :3 it. >w< He UwU shaww >_> die, >w< an >w< it be >_> but fow xDD pweading UwU so weww fow 
:33 his wife.- UwU Away with x3 him! >w< He >_> has :3 a ^.^ famiwiaw :33 undew :33 his tongue; ^.^ he 
xDD speaks nyot ^.^ o' >_> God's nyame. ^w^ Go, OwO take ^.^ him away, UwU I say, ÚwÚ and strike 
x3 off :33 his >_> head pwesentwy, ÚwÚ and xDD then bweak x3 into :33 his son-in-waw's 
house, Sir ;;w;; James Cromer, ÚwÚ and strike x3 off :33 his head, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing them 
both ;;w;; upon >w< two powes hithew. 
uWu AWW. ^.^ It UwU shaww be ^-^ donye. 
>_< SAY. xDD Ah, ;;w;; countwymen! >_> if when xDD you >_< make x3 youw ;;w;; pway'ws, 
^w^ God >_> shouwd be UwU so ÚwÚ obduwate >_< as ^w^ youwsewves, 
How ^.^ wouwd >w< it ^-^ fawe with x3 youw ^.^ depawted xDD souws? 
xDD And >_< thewefowe yet ÚwÚ wewent ÚwÚ and :3 save x3 my life. 
ÚwÚ CADE. UwU Away with :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU do >_< as UwU I ÚwÚ command uWu ye. UwU [Exeunt x3 some with 
>w< WOWD SAY] uWu The OwO pwoudest peer uWu in x3 the weawm UwU shaww nyot ^-^ weaw :3 a >_> head 
on :33 his shoulders, ^w^ unwess ^.^ he x3 pay ;;w;; me >_< twibute; there UwU shaww nyot :3 a 
>_< maid be >w< mawwied, >_> but ^.^ she UwU shaww x3 pay to ;;w;; me her >_> maidenhead ere ;;w;; they 
uWu have :3 it. OwO Men UwU shaww howd of ;;w;; me uWu in capite; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we :3 chawge ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ command :3 that uWu theiw ;;w;; wives be >_< as fwee >_< as >_< heawt ^.^ can ÚwÚ wish ow >_> tongue 
^.^ can tell. 
:3 DICK. OwO My uWu wowd, when UwU shaww ^.^ we OwO go to ^.^ Cheapside, ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 up 
commodities ;;w;; upon UwU ouw :3 biwws? 
ÚwÚ CADE. OwO Mawwy, presently. 
uWu AWW. >_< O, bwave! 

^.^ We-entew one with x3 the heads 

ÚwÚ CADE. OwO But >_> is nyot ÚwÚ this UwU bwavew? Let them :3 kiss one another, fow ;;w;; they 
:3 wov'd weww when ;;w;; they :3 wewe alive. Now ÚwÚ pawt them OwO again, xDD west ;;w;; they 
>_< consuwt about x3 the ^.^ giving x3 up of x3 some ^.^ mowe UwU towns uWu in Fwance. 
Soldiers, x3 defew x3 the :33 spoiw of x3 the UwU city ÚwÚ untiw ^w^ nyight; fow with these 
:3 bownye >w< befowe >_> us ^w^ instead of >w< maces xDD wiww ^.^ we uWu wide ^w^ thwough x3 the 
ÚwÚ stweets, ÚwÚ and uWu at every ^-^ cownyew uWu have them >w< kiss. >_> Away! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_< VIII. 
:3 Southwawk 

Alarum ÚwÚ and retreat. Entew again CADE ÚwÚ and aww :33 his >_< wabbwement 

ÚwÚ CADE. Up Fish Street! down Saint OwO Magnyus' uWu Cownyew! ÚwÚ Kiww ÚwÚ and :3 knyock 
^-^ down! Throw them x3 into ÚwÚ Thames! uWu [Sound :3 a parley] 
>_> What noise >_> is ÚwÚ this UwU I UwU heaw? Dare xDD any be UwU so bold to >_> sound ;;w;; wetweat 
ow parley when UwU I ÚwÚ command them kiww? 

Entew BUCKINGHAM ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd ^-^ CWIFFOWD, ^w^ attended 

OwO BUCKINGHAM. Ay, OwO hewe ;;w;; they be :3 that dawe ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ^.^ distuwb thee. 
xDD And >_< thewefowe yet wewent, ÚwÚ and :3 save x3 my life. 
Knyow, Cade, ^.^ we come ambassadors from x3 the ^w^ King 
uWu Unto x3 the >w< commons ÚwÚ whom xDD thou x3 hast :3 miswed; 
xDD And OwO hewe pwonyounce fwee UwU pawdon to them aww 
:33 That xDD wiww ^w^ fowsake uWu thee ÚwÚ and OwO go ^.^ home uWu in peace. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. >_> What >_> say :3 ye, uWu countwymen? Will OwO ye ÚwÚ wewent 
xDD And yield to xDD mewcy whiwst UwU 'tis >_< offew'd UwU you, 
:33 Ow wet :3 a rebel lead xDD you to x3 youw deaths? 
Who loves x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww >_< embwace :33 his pardon, 
Fling x3 up :33 his cap ÚwÚ and >_> say >w< 'God :3 save :33 his :3 Majesty!' 
Who hateth ^.^ him ÚwÚ and honyouws nyot :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, 
Henwy x3 the :33 Fifth, :3 that UwU made aww Fwance to ;;w;; quake, 
:33 Shake ^.^ he :33 his :33 weapon uWu at >_> us ÚwÚ and pass by. 
uWu AWW. ^w^ God :3 save x3 the King! ^w^ God :3 save x3 the King! 
ÚwÚ CADE. What, ^-^ Buckingham ÚwÚ and uWu Cwiffowd, OwO awe OwO ye UwU so brave? 
xDD And UwU you, UwU base >_> peasants, UwU do OwO ye ^-^ bewieve him? Will xDD you >_< nyeeds be 
:33 hang'd with x3 youw about x3 youw nyecks? >_< Hath x3 my xDD swowd >_< thewefowe broke 
^w^ thwough ;;w;; Wondon ^.^ gates, :3 that xDD you >_> shouwd OwO weave ;;w;; me uWu at x3 the ^-^ White ^w^ Hawt 
uWu in Southwark? UwU I xDD thought OwO ye ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew uWu have UwU given x3 out these :3 awms 
>w< tiww xDD you xDD had recovered x3 youw UwU ancient freedom. OwO But xDD you OwO awe aww 
^w^ wecweants ÚwÚ and ;;w;; dastawds, ÚwÚ and delight to ^w^ wive uWu in :3 swavewy to x3 the 
nobility. Let them bweak x3 youw backs with ^-^ buwdens, OwO take x3 youw 
xDD houses uvw x3 youw >_< heads, ravish x3 youw ;;w;; wives ÚwÚ and >_> daughtews >w< befowe 
x3 youw UwU faces. For uWu me, UwU I xDD wiww >_< make OwO shift fow onye; ÚwÚ and UwU so >_> God's UwU cuwse 
>w< wight ;;w;; upon xDD you :33 aww! 
uWu AWW. ^-^ We'ww ;;w;; fowwow Cade, we'll ;;w;; fowwow Cade! 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Is x3 Cade x3 the >_< son of Henwy x3 the :33 Fifth, 
:33 That OwO thus xDD you UwU do excwaim you'ww OwO go with him? 
Will ^.^ he ÚwÚ conduct xDD you ^w^ thwough x3 the >_< heawt of >_< Fwance, 
xDD And >_< make x3 the meanyest of xDD you ^.^ eawws ÚwÚ and ^-^ dukes? 
ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ he hath nyo ^.^ home, nyo :33 pwace to fwy >w< to; 
x3 Nyow xDD knyows ^.^ he >w< how to ^w^ wive >_> but ^.^ by x3 the xDD spoiw, 
OwO Unwess ^.^ by robbing of x3 youw ^w^ fwiends ÚwÚ and >_> us. 
^w^ Wewe't nyot :3 a ^-^ shame :3 that whiwst xDD you ^w^ wive uWu at jaw 
uWu The x3 feawfuw Fwench, ÚwÚ whom xDD you wate ^.^ vanquished, 
Should >_< make :3 a start ^-^ o'ew seas ÚwÚ and uWu vanquish you? 
Methinks xDD awweady uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ civiw ^w^ bwoiw 
UwU I >_> see them wowding >w< it uWu in ;;w;; Wondon ÚwÚ stweets, 
Crying 'Viwwiago!' >w< unto aww ;;w;; they ^.^ meet. 
uWu Bettew ;;w;; ten thousand >_> base-bown x3 Cades miscawwy 
Than xDD you >_> shouwd >_< stoop >w< unto :3 a uWu Fwenchman's mercy. 
;;w;; To >_< Fwance, to >_< Fwance, ÚwÚ and get >_> what xDD you uWu have ^.^ wost; 
^w^ Spawe England, fow >w< it >_> is x3 youw OwO nyative x3 coast. 
Henwy hath ;;w;; monyey; xDD you OwO awe >w< stwong ÚwÚ and ;;w;; manwy. 
^w^ God on UwU ouw side, doubt nyot of ^.^ victowy. 
uWu AWW. ^-^ A Clifford! :3 a Clifford! ^-^ We'ww ;;w;; fowwow x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and >_< Cwiffowd. 
ÚwÚ CADE. Was OwO evew ÚwÚ feathew UwU so >w< wightwy >_> bwown to ÚwÚ and >_< fwo >_< as ÚwÚ this 
multitude? uWu The xDD nyame of Henwy x3 the >_< Fifth hawes them to >w< an :3 hundwed 
>w< mischiefs, ÚwÚ and x3 makes them OwO weave ;;w;; me desolate. UwU I >_> see them uWu way uWu theiw 
heads togethew to suwpwise x3 me. OwO My xDD swowd >_< make uWu way fow ;;w;; me fow OwO hewe 
>_> is nyo :33 staying. ^w^ In ;;w;; despite of x3 the xDD deviws ÚwÚ and >_> heww, uWu have ^w^ thwough 
x3 the xDD vewy :3 middest of you! ÚwÚ and heavens ÚwÚ and honour be >_> witnyess :3 that 
nyo ^.^ want of uWu wesowution uWu in uWu me, >_> but >w< onwy x3 my followers' UwU base ÚwÚ and 
uWu ignyominyious uWu tweasons, x3 makes ;;w;; me betake ;;w;; me to x3 my xDD heews. 
uWu Exit 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. What, >_> is ^.^ he fled? Go some, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowwow him; 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that >_< bwings :33 his >_> head >w< unto x3 the ^w^ King 
Shall uWu have :3 a thousand :3 cwowns fow :33 his ÚwÚ wewawd. 
Exeunt x3 some of them 
Follow uWu me, soldiers; we'll >w< devise :3 a >_> mean 
;;w;; To reconcile xDD you aww >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; King. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE xDD IX. 
ÚwÚ Kiwwing, ^.^ wowth ;;w;; Castwe 

Sound x3 twumpets. Entew ;;w;; KING, xDD QUEEN, ÚwÚ and SOMERSET, on x3 the OwO tewwace 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Was OwO evew x3 king :3 that uWu joy'd >w< an ÚwÚ eawthwy >_< thwonye 
xDD And couwd ÚwÚ command nyo ^.^ mowe :3 content than >_< I? 
No :33 soonyew UwU was UwU I x3 cwept x3 out of x3 my >_> cwadwe 
OwO But UwU I UwU was UwU made :3 a OwO king, uWu at >w< nyinye ^w^ months ^-^ owd. 
Was >_< nyevew x3 subject >_< wong'd to be :3 a ^w^ King 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU do ^-^ wong ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wish to be :3 a xDD subject. 

Entew BUCKINGHAM ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd CWIFFOWD 

OwO BUCKINGHAM. :3 Heawth ÚwÚ and uWu gwad UwU tidings to x3 youw Majesty! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Why, ;;w;; Buckingham, >_> is x3 the traitor x3 Cade uWu suwpwis'd? 
:33 Ow >_> is ^.^ he >_> but >_> wetiw'd to >_< make ^.^ him :3 stwong? 

OwO Entew, bewow, xDD muwtitudes, with halters about uWu theiw xDD nyecks 

:33 CWIFFOWD. >w< He >_> is fwed, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and aww :33 his ÚwÚ powews UwU do :33 yiewd, 
xDD And x3 humbwy thus, with halters on uWu theiw ÚwÚ nyecks, 
^.^ Expect x3 youw Highness' >_< doom of >w< wife ow death. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Then, ^.^ heaven, uWu set ^w^ ope >w< thy everlasting ^.^ gates, 
;;w;; To entertain x3 my x3 vows of thanks ÚwÚ and praise! 
Soldiers, ÚwÚ this day uWu have xDD you ^w^ wedeem'd x3 youw lives, 
xDD And ^w^ show'd >w< how weww xDD you wuv x3 youw Prince ÚwÚ and country. 
Continue still uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a UwU mind, 
xDD And Henry, ^w^ though ^.^ he be >_< infowtunyate, 
Assuwe ^w^ youwsewves, xDD wiww >_< nyevew be unkind. 
xDD And >_> so, with thanks ÚwÚ and UwU pawdon to xDD you all, 
UwU I UwU do dismiss xDD you to x3 youw sevewaw ^.^ countwies. 
uWu AWW. ^w^ God :3 save x3 the King! ^w^ God :3 save x3 the King! 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw Gwace to be >w< advewtised 
uWu The >w< Duke of York >_> is x3 nyewwy come from Iwewand 
xDD And with :3 a x3 puissant ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ mighty powew 
Of gawwowgwasses ÚwÚ and :33 stout k-kewns 
Is ^.^ mawching *leans over* hithewwawd uWu in OwO pwoud x3 awway, 
xDD And still ÚwÚ pwocwaimeth, >_< as ^.^ he x3 comes along, 
ÚwÚ His :3 awms OwO awe >w< onwy to remove from uWu thee 
uWu The >w< Duke of ^w^ Somewset, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he terms :3 a traitor. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ Thus >w< stands x3 my state, 'twixt x3 Cade ÚwÚ and York distress'd; 
Wike to :3 a ship :3 that, xDD having ÚwÚ scap'd :3 a ÚwÚ tempest, 
Is ^w^ stwaightway cawm'd, ÚwÚ and boawded with :3 a ÚwÚ piwate; 
OwO But nyow >_> is x3 Cade driven back, :33 his ;;w;; men UwU dispews'd, 
xDD And nyow >_> is York uWu in :3 awms to second ^.^ him. 
UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; Buckingham, OwO go ÚwÚ and :3 meet ^.^ him 
xDD And ^w^ ask ^.^ him UwU what's x3 the reason of these arms. 
Teww ^.^ him I'll >_> send >w< Duke Edmund to x3 the >_< Towew- 
xDD And ^w^ Somewset, ^.^ we xDD wiww :3 commit uWu thee uWu thithew 
Untiw :33 his ^.^ awmy be OwO dismiss'd from ^.^ him. 
uWu SOMEWSET. OwO My uWu wowd, 
I'll yield mysewf to :3 pwison :3 wiwwingwy, 
:33 Ow >w< unto UwU death, to UwU do x3 my countwy UwU good. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ In xDD any case be nyot ^w^ too OwO wough uWu in ^w^ tewms, 
For ^.^ he >_> is >_< fiewce ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot >w< bwook x3 hawd >_> wanguage. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and doubt nyot UwU so to deal 
;;w;; As aww ^.^ things UwU shaww >_> wedound >w< unto x3 youw UwU good. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^.^ Come, :3 wife, >_> wet's x3 in, ÚwÚ and :3 weawn to >_< guvwn uWu bettew; 
For yet OwO may England UwU cuwse x3 my wwetched reign. 
>w< Fwouwish. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< X. 
Kent. :33 Iden's >_< gawden 

Entew CADE 

ÚwÚ CADE. >w< Fie on ^w^ ambitions! >w< Fie on myself, :3 that uWu have :3 a xDD swowd ÚwÚ and yet ^w^ am 
ready to UwU famish! ;;w;; These five OwO days uWu have UwU I >_< hid ;;w;; me uWu in these :33 woods ÚwÚ and 
x3 duwst nyot xDD peep ^.^ out, fow aww x3 the countwy >_> is laid fow OwO me; >_> but nyow 
^w^ am UwU I UwU so hungwy :3 that, >_> if UwU I ^w^ might uWu have :3 a lease of x3 my >w< wife fow :3 a 
thousand years, UwU I couwd xDD stay nyo wongew. >_> Whewefowe, on :3 a ^-^ bwick 
waww uWu have UwU I ^-^ cwimb'd x3 into ÚwÚ this gawden, to >_> see >_> if UwU I ^.^ can eat gwass 
ow pick :3 a sallet anyothew while, which >_> is nyot uWu amiss to :3 coow :3 a 
:33 man's stomach ÚwÚ this :3 hot weather. xDD And UwU I think ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wowd 'sallet' 
UwU was bown to UwU do ;;w;; me good; fow UwU many :3 a time, >_> but fow :3 a sallet, x3 my 
UwU bwain-pain xDD had :33 been uWu cweft with :3 a >_> bwown biww; ÚwÚ and UwU many :3 a time, 
when UwU I uWu have :33 been ^.^ dwy, ÚwÚ and bravely marching, >w< it hath sewv'd ;;w;; me 
^w^ instead of :3 a >_< quawt-pot to ÚwÚ dwink UwU in; ÚwÚ and nyow x3 the ;;w;; wowd 'sallet' 
^w^ must serve ;;w;; me to >w< feed :3 on. 

Entew IDEN 

>_> IDEN. Wowd, who ^.^ wouwd ^w^ wive tuwmoiwed uWu in x3 the court 
xDD And OwO may ^.^ enjoy xDD such :33 quiet >w< wawks >_< as xDD these? 
This UwU smaww inheritance x3 my >w< fathew left ;;w;; me 
;;w;; Contenteth uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wowth :3 a >_> monyawchy. 
UwU I >_> seek nyot to OwO wax great ^.^ by OwO othews' >_< wanying 
:33 Ow gathew weawth UwU I :3 cawe nyot with >_> what xDD envy; 
:33 Sufficeth :3 that UwU I uWu have :3 maintains x3 my state, 
xDD And OwO sends x3 the poor weww ^w^ pweased from x3 my uWu gate. 
ÚwÚ CADE. >_> Hewe's x3 the ;;w;; wowd of x3 the UwU soiw come to x3 seize ;;w;; me fow :3 a stway, fow 
entering :33 his >_> fee-simpwe ^-^ without >_< weave. xDD Ah, villain, xDD thou wiwt 
ÚwÚ betway uWu me, ÚwÚ and get :3 a thousand :3 cwowns of x3 the ^w^ King ^.^ by ^w^ cawwying x3 my 
>_> head to him; >_> but I'll >_< make uWu thee eat iwon ^.^ wike >w< an :3 ostwich ÚwÚ and 
swawwow x3 my xDD swowd ^.^ wike :3 a great uWu pin ere xDD thou ÚwÚ and UwU I part. 
>_> IDEN. Why, wude >_< companyion, whatsoe'er xDD thou be, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee x3 nyot; >w< why xDD then >_> shouwd UwU I ÚwÚ betway thee? 
^-^ Is't nyot enough to bweak x3 into x3 my >_< gawden 
xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a UwU thief to come to rob x3 my grounds, 
Climbing x3 my OwO wawws uWu in x3 spite of ;;w;; me x3 the owner, 
OwO But xDD thou wiwt >_< bwave ;;w;; me with these ^w^ saucy terms? 
ÚwÚ CADE. ^-^ Bwave thee? Ay, ^.^ by x3 the best :3 bwood :3 that OwO evew UwU was bwoach'd, ÚwÚ and 
^w^ beawd uWu thee UwU too. Wook on ;;w;; me well: UwU I uWu have eat nyo :3 meat these five 
uWu days, yet come xDD thou ÚwÚ and >w< thy five ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and >_> if UwU I UwU do nyot OwO weave xDD you 
aww >_< as >_< dead >_< as :3 a uWu doow-nyaiw, UwU I pray ^w^ God UwU I OwO may >_< nyevew eat gwass 
more. 
>_> IDEN. Nyay, >w< it UwU shaww ^w^ nye'ew be said, OwO whiwe England stands, 
:33 That x3 Awexandew ^w^ Iden, >w< an :33 esquiwe of UwU Kent, 
>w< Took ^w^ odds to :33 combat :3 a poor famish'd man. 
ÚwÚ Oppose >w< thy steadfast-gazing eyes to minye; 
xDD See >_> if xDD thou ;;w;; canst outface ;;w;; me with >w< thy looks; 
Set x3 wimb to ÚwÚ wimb, ÚwÚ and xDD thou awt uWu faw x3 the >w< wessew; 
x3 Thy uWu hand >_> is >_> but :3 a finger to x3 my uWu fist, 
x3 Thy >_< weg :3 a OwO stick compawed with ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ twuncheon; 
OwO My :33 foot UwU shaww >w< fight with aww x3 the ÚwÚ stwength xDD thou ÚwÚ hast, 
xDD And >_> if >_< minye awm be ;;w;; heaved uWu in x3 the air, 
x3 Thy :3 gwave >_> is xDD digg'd xDD awweady uWu in x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
;;w;; As fow wowds, x3 whose :33 gweatnyess ^-^ answews wowds, 
Let ÚwÚ this x3 my xDD swowd wepowt >_> what ÚwÚ speech forbears. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ^-^ By x3 my uWu vawouw, x3 the UwU most complete x3 champion :3 that OwO evew UwU I heard! 
>w< Steew, >_> if xDD thou turn x3 the >_> edge, ow :3 cut nyot x3 out x3 the ^.^ buwwy ^w^ bon'd 
>_< cwown uWu in >_> chinyes of ^w^ beef ere xDD thou :33 sweep uWu in >w< thy ^.^ sheath, UwU I :33 beseech 
^w^ God on x3 my knees xDD thou uWu mayst be >_> tuwn'd to hobnails. [Here ;;w;; they 
fight; CADE :33 fawws] >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; swain! :3 faminye ÚwÚ and nyo othew hath :3 swain 
x3 me. Let ;;w;; ten thousand xDD deviws come OwO against uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU give ;;w;; me >_> but x3 the 
;;w;; ten ^w^ meaws UwU I uWu have :3 wost, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; I'd ^.^ defy them all. ^.^ Withew, gawden, ÚwÚ and 
be henceforth :3 a burying :33 pwace to aww :3 that UwU do dwell uWu in ÚwÚ this house, 
uWu because x3 the :3 unconquewed :3 souw of x3 Cade >_> is OwO fwed. 
>_> IDEN. ^-^ Is't x3 Cade :3 that UwU I uWu have x3 swain, :3 that monstwous traitor? 
OwO Swowd, UwU I xDD wiww hallow uWu thee fow ÚwÚ this >w< thy ^.^ deed 
xDD And ^w^ hang uWu thee ^-^ o'ew x3 my tomb when UwU I ^w^ am uWu dead. 
Nye'ew UwU shaww ÚwÚ this :3 bwood be wiped from >w< thy UwU point, 
OwO But xDD thou shalt ^-^ weaw >w< it >_< as :3 a x3 hewawd's >_> coat 
;;w;; To xDD embwaze x3 the honour :3 that >w< thy >_< mastew ^-^ got. 
ÚwÚ CADE. ^w^ Iden, faweweww; ÚwÚ and be OwO pwoud of >w< thy ^.^ victowy. Teww Kent from 
;;w;; me ^.^ she hath wost her best ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and exhowt aww x3 the wowwd to be 
:3 cowawds; fow I, :3 that >_< nyevew x3 feawed uWu any, ^w^ am ^w^ vanquished ^.^ by faminye, 
nyot ^.^ by ;;w;; vawouw. :33 [Dies] 
>_> IDEN. How much xDD thou wrong'st uWu me, heaven be x3 my ^-^ judge. 
^w^ Die, uWu damnyed :3 wwetch, x3 the UwU cuwse of her :3 that OwO bawe uWu thee! 
xDD And >_< as UwU I thwust >w< thy >w< body uWu in with x3 my uWu swowd, 
^w^ So ÚwÚ wish I, UwU I ^w^ might thwust >w< thy :3 souw to uWu heww. 
OwO Hence xDD wiww UwU I drag uWu thee OwO headwong ^.^ by x3 the heels 
uWu Unto :3 a dunghill, which UwU shaww be >w< thy ^-^ gwave, 
xDD And there :3 cut x3 off >w< thy UwU most >_< ungwacious head, 
>_< Which UwU I xDD wiww UwU beaw uWu in twiumph to x3 the OwO King, 
^.^ Weaving >w< thy UwU twunk fow >_< cwows to >w< feed ^w^ upon. uWu Exit 




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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu Fiewds ^-^ between Dawtfowd ÚwÚ and :3 Bwackheath 

Entew YORK, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^.^ awmy of Irish, with drum ÚwÚ and cowouws 

:3 YOWK. Fwom Iwewand OwO thus x3 comes York to >_< cwaim :33 his >w< wight 
xDD And pluck x3 the >_< cwown from feebwe >_> Henwy's head: 
^w^ Wing UwU bewws ^w^ awoud, buwn >_> bonfiwes ^-^ cweaw ÚwÚ and :3 bwight, 
;;w;; To entertain great Engwand's ÚwÚ wawfuw king. 
xDD Ah, ^-^ sancta UwU majestas! who ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU buy uWu thee ^w^ deaw? 
Let them UwU obey :3 that xDD knyows nyot >w< how to ^-^ wuwe; 
This uWu hand UwU was UwU made to handle >_< nyought >_> but ;;w;; gowd. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU give >_< due uWu action to x3 my wowds 
UwU Except :3 a xDD swowd ow sceptre ^w^ bawance :3 it. 
^-^ A sceptre UwU shaww >w< it have, uWu have UwU I :3 a :3 souw 
On which I'll toss x3 the ^-^ fwowew-de-wuce of Fwance. 

Entew BUCKINGHAM 

:3 [Aside] ;;w;; Whom uWu have ^.^ we hewe? ;;w;; Buckingham, to ^.^ distuwb me? 
uWu The ^w^ King hath sent :3 him, ^w^ suwe: UwU I ^w^ must >_> dissembwe. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. York, >_> if xDD thou meanyest weww UwU I x3 gweet uWu thee well. 
:3 YOWK. Humphrey of ;;w;; Buckingham, UwU I xDD accept >w< thy ^.^ gweeting. 
Awt xDD thou :3 a ^w^ messengew, ow come of pweasuwe? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^-^ A :3 messengew from Henry, UwU ouw xDD dwead ^.^ wiege, 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 the reason of these :3 awms uWu in :3 peace; 
:33 Ow >w< why UwU thou, ^.^ being :3 a x3 subject >_< as UwU I am, 
^w^ Against >w< thy ^-^ oath ÚwÚ and true OwO awwegiance sworn, 
Should >w< waise UwU so great :3 a powew ^-^ without :33 his weave, 
:33 Ow dawe to ;;w;; bwing >w< thy force UwU so nyeaw x3 the >_< couwt. 
:3 YOWK. :3 [Aside] Scarce ^.^ can UwU I :3 speak, x3 my ^.^ chowew >_> is UwU so ^.^ gweat. 
>_< O, UwU I couwd hew x3 up x3 wocks ÚwÚ and >w< fight with xDD fwint, 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU so angry uWu at these abject :33 tewms; 
xDD And now, ^.^ wike ^.^ Ajax :3 Tewamonyius, 
On sheep ow oxen couwd UwU I spend x3 my xDD fuwy. 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu faw xDD bettew bown than >_> is x3 the OwO King, 
uWu Mowe ^.^ wike :3 a OwO king, ^.^ mowe >_> kingwy uWu in x3 my thoughts; 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ must >_< make >w< faiw >_> weathew yet awhiwe, 
Tiww Henwy be ^.^ mowe xDD weak ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ mowe ^-^ stwong.- 
;;w;; Buckingham, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, UwU pawdon ;;w;; me 
:33 That UwU I uWu have UwU given nyo answew aww ÚwÚ this while; 
OwO My ^-^ mind UwU was troubled with >_> deep :3 mewanchowy. 
uWu The cause >w< why UwU I uWu have ^.^ bwought ÚwÚ this ^.^ awmy ÚwÚ hithew 
Is to remove OwO pwoud Somerset from x3 the OwO King, 
Seditious to :33 his Gwace ÚwÚ and to x3 the state. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. :33 That >_> is ^w^ too much ^w^ pwesumption on >w< thy ^w^ pawt; 
OwO But >_> if >w< thy :3 awms be to nyo othew ^w^ end, 
uWu The ^w^ King hath yiewded >w< unto >w< thy demand: 
uWu The >w< Duke of Somerset >_> is uWu in x3 the Towew. 
:3 YOWK. >_> Upon ^.^ thinye honyouw, >_> is ^.^ he prisoner? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> Upon >_< minye honyouw, ^.^ he >_> is ^w^ pwisonyew. 
:3 YOWK. Then, ;;w;; Buckingham, UwU I UwU do dismiss x3 my :33 pow'ws. 
Soldiers, UwU I >_> thank xDD you aww; UwU dispewse xDD youwsewves; 
^w^ Meet ;;w;; me to-mowwow uWu in Saint George's >_> fiewd, 
>_> You UwU shaww uWu have x3 pay ÚwÚ and evewything xDD you ^w^ wish. 
xDD And wet x3 my sovereign, virtuous Henry, 
xDD Command x3 my eldest x3 son, x3 nyay, aww x3 my sons, 
;;w;; As >_< pwedges of x3 my uWu feawty ÚwÚ and love. 
I'll >_> send them aww >_< as ^.^ wiwwing >_< as UwU I live: 
Lands, UwU goods, horse, awmouw, ;;w;; anything UwU I have, 
Is :33 his to ^.^ use, UwU so Somerset OwO may die. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. York, UwU I ÚwÚ commend ÚwÚ this uWu kind ;;w;; submission. 
We twain xDD wiww OwO go x3 into :33 his Highness' uWu tent. 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; Buckingham, xDD doth York intend nyo x3 hawm to us, 
:33 That OwO thus ^.^ he >w< mawcheth with uWu thee awm uWu in awm? 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ In aww >_> submission ÚwÚ and humility 
York xDD doth xDD pwesent >_< himsewf >w< unto x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Then >_> what ^-^ intends these forces xDD thou dost >_< bwing? 
:3 YOWK. ;;w;; To x3 heave x3 the traitor Somerset from hence, 
xDD And >w< fight OwO against :3 that monstwous rebel Cade, 
Who xDD since UwU I heard to be discomfited. 

Entew IDEN, with CADE's >_> head 

>_> IDEN. ;;w;; If one UwU so wude ÚwÚ and of UwU so >_> mean condition 
^-^ May pass x3 into x3 the x3 pwesence of :3 a OwO king, 
Lo, UwU I xDD pwesent x3 youw Gwace :3 a UwU twaitow's head, 
uWu The >_> head of Cade, ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu in :33 combat UwU swew. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu The >_> head of Cade! UwU Gweat :33 God, >w< how >w< just awt xDD Thou! 
>_< O, wet ;;w;; me x3 view :33 his ;;w;; visage, ^.^ being >_< dead, 
:33 That UwU wiving ;;w;; wwought ;;w;; me xDD such :33 exceeding trouble. 
Teww uWu me, x3 my fwiend, awt xDD thou x3 the x3 man :3 that >_< swew him? 
>_> IDEN. UwU I UwU was, UwU an't ^.^ wike x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How awt xDD thou call'd? xDD And >_> what >_> is >w< thy :33 degwee? 
>_> IDEN. x3 Awexandew ^w^ Iden, ^w^ that's x3 my UwU nyame; 
^-^ A poor :33 esquiwe of Kent :3 that loves :33 his king. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^w^ So uWu pwease >w< it UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< 'twewe nyot uWu amiss 
>w< He :3 wewe created knight fow :33 his ÚwÚ good service. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ Iden, ^w^ knyeew down. [He knyeews] ^-^ Wise x3 up :3 a knyight. 
We UwU give uWu thee fow wewawd :3 a thousand ^w^ mawks, 
xDD And xDD wiww :3 that xDD thou ;;w;; thencefowth >_< attend on >_> us. 
>_> IDEN. ^-^ May xDD Iden ^w^ wive to merit xDD such :3 a x3 bounty, 
xDD And >_< nyevew ^w^ wive >_> but true >w< unto :33 his wiege! 

Entew x3 the >w< QUEEN ÚwÚ and SOMERSET 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 See, Buckingham! Somerset x3 comes with x3 th' uWu Queen: 
^w^ Go, bid her hide ^.^ him quickly from x3 the uWu Duke. 
QUEEN. For thousand Yorks ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot hide :33 his head, 
OwO But OwO bowdwy stand ÚwÚ and >w< fwont ^.^ him to :33 his ;;w;; face. 
:3 YOWK. How >_< nyow! Is Somerset uWu at ÚwÚ wibewty? 
Then, York, unwoose >w< thy long-imprisoned >_< thoughts 
xDD And wet >w< thy >_> tongue be equal with >w< thy ;;w;; heawt. 
Shall UwU I OwO enduwe x3 the ^.^ sight of :3 Somewset? 
ÚwÚ Fawse OwO king, >w< why x3 hast xDD thou xDD bwoken :33 faith with uWu me, 
Knyowing >w< how hardly UwU I ^.^ can >w< bwook >_< abuse? 
^w^ King uWu did UwU I caww thee? :3 Nyo, xDD thou awt nyot uWu king; 
ÚwÚ Nyot ;;w;; fit to >_< guvwn ÚwÚ and UwU wuwe xDD muwtitudes, 
>_< Which ^w^ daw'st >_> nyot, no, nor ;;w;; canst nyot UwU wuwe :3 a traitor. 
:33 That >_> head of ^.^ thinye xDD doth nyot :33 become :3 a >_< cwown; 
x3 Thy uWu hand >_> is UwU made to ÚwÚ gwasp :3 a pawmew's staff, 
xDD And nyot to xDD gwace >w< an x3 awfuw princely sceptre. 
:33 That gowd ^w^ must ;;w;; wound :33 engiwt these ^w^ bwows of >_> minye, 
>_< Whose ;;w;; smiwe ÚwÚ and fwown, ^.^ wike to ^-^ Achiwwes' UwU speaw, 
Is able with x3 the change to OwO kiww ÚwÚ and x3 cuwe. 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a uWu hand to howd :3 a sceptre up, 
xDD And with x3 the same to ;;w;; act >w< contwowwing waws. 
Give ;;w;; pwace. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, xDD thou shalt UwU wuwe nyo ^.^ mowe 
^w^ O'ew ^.^ him ÚwÚ whom heaven created fow >w< thy ruler. 
uWu SOMEWSET. x3 O monstwous twaitow! UwU I ;;w;; awwest ÚwÚ thee, York, 
Of >w< capitaw UwU tweason uWu 'gainst x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and crown. 
Obey, audacious uWu twaitow; ^w^ knyeew fow grace. 
:3 YOWK. Wouldst uWu have ;;w;; me ;;w;; knyeew? First wet ;;w;; me ^w^ ask of OwO these, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they ^.^ can >w< bwook UwU I bow :3 a knyee to man. 
Siwwah, caww uWu in x3 my xDD sons to be x3 my :3 baiw: uWu Exit x3 attendant 
UwU I knyow, ere >w< thy xDD wiww uWu have ;;w;; me OwO go to :33 wawd, 
x3 They'ww ^.^ pawn uWu theiw :33 swowds fow x3 my enfranchisement. 
QUEEN. ;;w;; Caww ÚwÚ hithew >_> Cwiffowd; bid ^.^ him come x3 amain, 
;;w;; To >_> say >_> if :3 that x3 the ^.^ bastawd >_< boys of York 
Shall be x3 the surety fow uWu theiw traitor :33 fathew. 
uWu Exit BUCKINGHAM 
:3 YOWK. x3 O blood-bespotted :3 Nyeapowitan, 
>w< Outcast of Naples, Engwand's bwoody uWu scouwge! 
uWu The xDD sons of York, >w< thy ^-^ bettews uWu in uWu theiw birth, 
Shall be uWu theiw father's bail; ÚwÚ and >_> banye to UwU those 
:33 That fow x3 my surety xDD wiww refuse x3 the :33 boys! 

Entew >w< EDWAWD ÚwÚ and UwU WICHAWD x3 PWANTAGENyET 

xDD See :3 whewe ;;w;; they x3 come: I'll :33 wawwant they'ww >_< make >w< it UwU good. 

Entew CWIFFOWD ÚwÚ and :33 his ^.^ SON 

QUEEN. xDD And OwO hewe x3 comes xDD Cwiffowd to UwU deny uWu theiw ^w^ baiw. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. :3 Heawth ÚwÚ and aww happinyess to x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the King! 
>_< [Knyeews] 
:3 YOWK. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, >_< Cwiffowd. Say, >_> what nyews with thee? 
Nyay, UwU do nyot :33 fwight >_> us with >w< an angry wook. 
We OwO awe >w< thy sovereign, uWu Cwiffowd, ^w^ knyeew again; 
For >w< thy ;;w;; mistaking >_> so, ^.^ we UwU pawdon thee. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. This >_> is x3 my OwO King, York, UwU I UwU do nyot OwO mistake; 
OwO But xDD thou :33 mistakes ;;w;; me much to think UwU I xDD do. 
;;w;; To Bedwam with x3 him! Is x3 the x3 man grown uWu mad? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Ay, >_> Cwiffowd; :3 a bedlam ÚwÚ and :3 ambitious humouw 
:3 Makes ^.^ him ;;w;; oppose >_< himsewf OwO against :33 his king. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. >w< He >_> is :3 a uWu twaitow; wet ^.^ him to x3 the Towew, 
xDD And chop OwO away :3 that uWu factious OwO pate of ÚwÚ his. 
QUEEN. >w< He >_> is awwested, >_> but xDD wiww nyot obey; 
ÚwÚ His sons, ^.^ he says, UwU shaww UwU give uWu theiw wowds fow ^.^ him. 
:3 YOWK. Will xDD you >_> nyot, sons? 
>_> EDWAWD. Ay, x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ fathew, >_> if UwU ouw wowds xDD wiww ^.^ sewve. 
>_< WICHAWD. xDD And >_> if wowds xDD wiww >_> nyot, xDD then UwU ouw >_< weapons >_< shaww. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Why, >_> what :3 a brood of traitors uWu have ^.^ we here! 
:3 YOWK. Wook uWu in :3 a gwass, ÚwÚ and caww >w< thy x3 image so: 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy OwO king, ÚwÚ and xDD thou :3 a ;;w;; fawse-heawt traitor. 
;;w;; Caww ÚwÚ hithew to x3 the OwO stake x3 my >w< two >_< bwave bears, 
:33 That with x3 the xDD vewy ^.^ shaking of uWu theiw >_> chains 
^-^ They OwO may ^w^ astonyish these ^.^ feww-wuwking curs. 
x3 Bid uWu Sawisbuwy ÚwÚ and Wawwick come to x3 me. 

Entew x3 the OwO EAWWS ÚwÚ OF ^w^ WAWWICK ÚwÚ and SALISBURY 

:33 CWIFFOWD. ^w^ Awe these >w< thy ^-^ beaws? ^-^ We'ww x3 bait >w< thy bears to UwU death, 
xDD And ;;w;; manyacwe x3 the berard uWu in uWu theiw >_> chains, 
;;w;; If xDD thou ^w^ daw'st ;;w;; bwing them to x3 the :33 baiting-pwace. 
>_< WICHAWD. x3 Oft uWu have UwU I :3 seen :3 a :3 hot ^-^ o'ew OwO weenying cur 
OwO Wun back ÚwÚ and bite, uWu because ^.^ he UwU was withheld; 
UwU Who, ^.^ being :33 suffew'd, with x3 the beaw's UwU feww OwO paw, 
>_< Hath ^-^ cwapp'd :33 his :33 taiw ^-^ between :33 his UwU wegs ÚwÚ and :3 cwied; 
xDD And xDD such :3 a ^.^ piece of OwO sewvice xDD wiww xDD you UwU do, 
;;w;; If xDD you ;;w;; oppose youwsewves to >_< match Lord uWu Wawwick. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Hence, >_< heap of :33 wwath, fouw indigested >w< wump, 
;;w;; As crooked uWu in >w< thy ^w^ mannyews >_< as >w< thy >_< shape! 
:3 YOWK. Nyay, ^.^ we UwU shaww ^.^ heat xDD you thowoughwy x3 anyon. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. ^.^ Take ^-^ heed, xDD west ^.^ by x3 youw ^.^ heat xDD you buwn youwsewves. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Why, Wawwick, hath >w< thy knyee fowgot to >_< bow? 
^-^ Owd >_> Sawisbuwy, ^-^ shame to >w< thy :33 siwvew hair, 
^.^ Thou ^-^ mad misleader of >w< thy :33 bwainsick ^w^ son! 
What, wiwt xDD thou on >w< thy death-bed :33 pway x3 the ruffian 
xDD And >_> seek fow sorrow with >w< thy spectacles? 
>_< O, :3 whewe >_> is OwO faith? >_< O, :3 whewe >_> is >w< woyawty? 
;;w;; If >w< it be banyish'd from x3 the fwosty head, 
Whewe UwU shaww >w< it find :3 a uWu hawbouw uWu in x3 the ^w^ eawth? 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou OwO go dig :3 a :3 gwave to find x3 out >w< waw 
xDD And ^-^ shame ^.^ thinye ^.^ honyouwabwe age with >_< bwood? 
Why awt xDD thou :3 owd, ÚwÚ and :33 want'st xDD expewience? 
:33 Ow ^-^ whewefowe dost abuse :33 it, >_> if xDD thou x3 hast :33 it? 
For x3 shame! ^w^ In >_> duty >w< bend >w< thy knyee to uWu me, 
:33 That bows >w< unto x3 the :3 gwave with mickwe age. 
SAWISBUWY. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have considewed with mysewf 
uWu The >_< tide of ÚwÚ this UwU most uWu wenyownyed x3 duke, 
xDD And uWu in x3 my >_> conscience UwU do ^-^ wepute :33 his Gwace 
uWu The wightfuw heir to Engwand's royal UwU seat. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Hast xDD thou nyot sworn OwO awwegiance >w< unto me? 
SAWISBUWY. UwU I :3 have. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou ^w^ dispense with heaven fow xDD such >w< an ^w^ oath? 
SAWISBUWY. ^.^ It >_> is great x3 sin to >_< sweaw >w< unto :3 a sin; 
OwO But :33 gweatew x3 sin to >_< keep :3 a x3 sinfuw uWu oath. 
Who ^.^ can be bound ^.^ by xDD any solemn vow 
;;w;; To UwU do :3 a OwO muwd'wous OwO deed, to rob :3 a ^w^ man, 
;;w;; To force :3 a :3 spotwess viwgin's >_> chastity, 
;;w;; To OwO weave x3 the owphan of :33 his UwU patwimony, 
;;w;; To wring x3 the ^.^ widow from her >_< custom'd wight, 
xDD And uWu have nyo othew reason fow ÚwÚ this wrong 
OwO But :3 that ^.^ he UwU was bound ^.^ by :3 a solemn ^w^ oath? 
QUEEN. ^-^ A >_> subtwe traitor >_< nyeeds nyo sophister. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; Caww ;;w;; Buckingham, ÚwÚ and bid ^.^ him awm himself. 
:3 YOWK. ;;w;; Caww ;;w;; Buckingham, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the ^w^ fwiends xDD thou ÚwÚ hast, 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 wesowv'd fow :33 death ow UwU dignyity. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. uWu The xDD fiwst UwU I :33 wawwant ÚwÚ thee, >_> if x3 dweams ^-^ pwuv true. 
WARWICK. >_> You :3 wewe best to OwO go to x3 bed ÚwÚ and dweam again 
;;w;; To >_< keep uWu thee from x3 the UwU tempest of x3 the >_> fiewd. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. UwU I ^w^ am :3 wesowv'd to UwU beaw :3 a :33 gweatew x3 stowm 
Than xDD any xDD thou ;;w;; canst x3 conjuwe x3 up to-day; 
xDD And :3 that I'll >w< wwite ;;w;; upon >w< thy xDD buwgonyet, 
^.^ Might UwU I >_> but ^.^ knyow uWu thee ^.^ by >w< thy :33 househowd ^.^ badge. 
WARWICK. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my father's ^w^ badge, ;;w;; owd >_> Nyeviw's crest, 
uWu The rampant UwU beaw ^.^ chain'd to x3 the ^-^ wagged staff, 
This day I'll ^-^ weaw ÚwÚ awoft x3 my xDD buwgonyet, 
;;w;; As on :3 a mountain-top x3 the cedar uWu shows, 
:33 That keeps :33 his >w< weaves uWu in x3 spite of xDD any stowm, 
Even to affright uWu thee with x3 the x3 view >_> theweof. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. xDD And from >w< thy buwgonyet I'll rend >w< thy UwU beaw 
xDD And ;;w;; twead >w< it :33 undew :33 foot with aww ^.^ contempt, 
^-^ Despite x3 the berard :3 that xDD pwotects x3 the bear. 
:3 YOUNG :33 CWIFFOWD. xDD And UwU so to awms, ;;w;; victowious ÚwÚ fathew, 
;;w;; To OwO queww x3 the ÚwÚ webews ÚwÚ and uWu theiw >w< compwices. 
>_< WICHAWD. uWu Fie! chawity, fow x3 shame! ^w^ Speak nyot uWu in xDD spite, 
For xDD you UwU shaww UwU sup with >_< Jesu ^-^ Chwist to-night. 
:3 YOUNG :33 CWIFFOWD. Foul stigmatic, ^w^ that's ^.^ mowe than xDD thou ;;w;; canst tell. 
>_< WICHAWD. ;;w;; If nyot uWu in ^.^ heaven, you'ww x3 suwewy UwU sup uWu in uWu heww. 
Exeunt uWu sevewawwy 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Saint Awbans 

^.^ Awawums to x3 the ^.^ battwe. Entew ^w^ WAWWICK 

WARWICK. xDD Cwiffowd of Cumberland, UwU 'tis Wawwick cawws; 
xDD And >_> if xDD thou dost nyot hide uWu thee from x3 the >_> beaw, 
>_> Nyow, when x3 the angry ÚwÚ twumpet sounds OwO awawum 
xDD And >_< dead men's x3 cwies UwU do ^w^ fiww x3 the :33 empty air, 
uWu Cwiffowd, UwU I say, come fowth ÚwÚ and >w< fight with x3 me. 
Pwoud ^w^ nyowthewn uWu wowd, xDD Cwiffowd of Cumberland, 
^w^ WAWWICK >_> is :33 hoawse with x3 cawwing uWu thee to arms. 

Entew YORK 

How now, x3 my x3 nyobwe ^.^ wowd! x3 what, aww a-foot? 
:3 YOWK. uWu The >_> deadwy-handed xDD Cwiffowd >_< swew x3 my UwU steed; 
OwO But >_< match to >_< match UwU I uWu have encount'wed :3 him, 
xDD And UwU made :3 a prey fow OwO cawwion :33 kites ÚwÚ and >_< cwows 
Even of x3 the ^w^ bonny beast ^.^ he :3 wov'd UwU so well. 

Entew OLD CWIFFOWD 

WARWICK. Of one ow both of >_> us x3 the time >_> is x3 come. 
:3 YOWK. UwU Howd, Wawwick, >_> seek uWu thee x3 out x3 some othew uWu chase, 
For UwU I mysewf ^w^ must OwO hunt ÚwÚ this >w< deew to death. 
WARWICK. Then, nobly, Yowk; UwU 'tis fow :3 a >_< cwown xDD thou :33 fight'st. 
;;w;; As UwU I >_> intend, uWu Cwiffowd, to x3 thwive uWu to-day, 
^.^ It grieves x3 my :3 souw to OwO weave uWu thee ^.^ unyassaiw'd. uWu Exit 
:33 CWIFFOWD. >_> What seest xDD thou uWu in uWu me, York? Why dost xDD thou >_< pause? 
:3 YOWK. With >w< thy >_< bwave :33 beawing >_> shouwd UwU I be uWu in wuv 
OwO But :3 that xDD thou awt UwU so ÚwÚ fast >_< minye enemy. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. x3 Nyow >_> shouwd >w< thy :3 pwowess ^.^ want praise ÚwÚ and >_> esteem 
OwO But :3 that UwU 'tis OwO shown ignyobwy ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 tweason. 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ So wet >w< it OwO hewp ;;w;; me nyow OwO against >w< thy uWu swowd, 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu in justice ÚwÚ and true >w< wight express :3 it! 
:33 CWIFFOWD. OwO My :3 souw ÚwÚ and >w< body on x3 the uWu action UwU both! 
:3 YOWK. ^-^ A :3 dweadfuw >_< way! Address uWu thee ^.^ instantwy. 
^w^ [They >w< fight ÚwÚ and CWIFFOWD :33 fawws] 
:33 CWIFFOWD. :33 Wa ^-^ fin :33 couwonnye >w< wes OwO oeuvwes. :33 [Dies] 
:3 YOWK. ^-^ Thus >w< waw hath UwU given uWu thee ÚwÚ peace, fow xDD thou awt xDD stiww. 
:3 Peace with :33 his x3 souw, ^.^ heaven, >_> if >w< it be >w< thy will! uWu Exit 

Entew :3 YOUNG CWIFFOWD 

:3 YOUNG :33 CWIFFOWD. Shame ÚwÚ and UwU confusion! All >_> is on x3 the rout; 
Fear ^-^ fwames uWu disowdew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ disowdew wounds 
Whewe >w< it >_> shouwd >w< guawd. x3 O waw, xDD thou >_< son of >_> heww, 
;;w;; Whom angry heavens UwU do >_< make uWu theiw minister, 
Throw uWu in x3 the uWu fwozen >_> bosoms of UwU ouw ÚwÚ pawt 
Hot ÚwÚ coaws of vengeance! Let nyo soldier fwy. 
>w< He :3 that >_> is :33 twuwy dedicate to >w< waw 
>_< Hath nyo self-love; nor ^.^ he :3 that loves >_< himsewf 
>_< Hath nyot essentially, >_> but ^.^ by ciwcumstance, 
uWu The xDD nyame of ;;w;; vawouw. [Sees :33 his father's >_> body] 
>_< O, wet x3 the ^-^ viwe wowwd >w< end 
xDD And x3 the pwemised flames of x3 the >w< wast day 
Knyit ^.^ eawth ÚwÚ and heaven ;;w;; togethew! 
Now wet x3 the general ÚwÚ twumpet ^w^ bwow :33 his x3 bwast, 
x3 Pawticuwawities ÚwÚ and petty sounds 
;;w;; To >w< cease! UwU Wast xDD thou ordain'd, uWu deaw ÚwÚ fathew, 
;;w;; To wose >w< thy :33 youth uWu in uWu peace ÚwÚ and to ;;w;; achieve 
uWu The :33 siwvew :33 wivewy of ^w^ advised age, 
xDD And uWu in >w< thy ^w^ wevewence ÚwÚ and >w< thy chair-days OwO thus 
;;w;; To ^-^ die uWu in ruffian :3 battwe? Even uWu at ÚwÚ this ^.^ sight 
OwO My >_< heawt >_> is >_> tuwn'd to stonye; ÚwÚ and OwO whiwe UwU 'tis >_< minye 
^.^ It UwU shaww be stony. York nyot UwU ouw ;;w;; owd ;;w;; men >w< spawes; 
No ^.^ mowe xDD wiww UwU I uWu theiw UwU babes. Tears ^.^ viwginyaw 
Shall be to ;;w;; me even >_< as x3 the :33 dew to x3 fiwe; 
xDD And >w< beauty, :3 that x3 the tyrant ;;w;; oft wecwaims, 
Shall to x3 my OwO fwaming >_> wwath be oiw ÚwÚ and ^.^ fwax. 
ÚwÚ Hencefowth UwU I xDD wiww nyot uWu have to UwU do with :33 pity: 
^w^ Meet UwU I >w< an xDD infant of x3 the ;;w;; house of York, 
^.^ Into >_< as UwU many ^-^ gobbets xDD wiww UwU I :3 cut >w< it 
;;w;; As >w< wiwd OwO Medea xDD young Absyrtus ^.^ did; 
^w^ In OwO cwuewty xDD wiww UwU I >_> seek x3 out x3 my ^w^ fame. 
^.^ Come, xDD thou x3 nyew xDD wuin of ;;w;; owd Cwiffowd's ^.^ house; 
;;w;; As uWu did ÚwÚ Aenyeas ;;w;; owd Anchises >_> beaw, 
^w^ So UwU beaw UwU I uWu thee ;;w;; upon x3 my xDD manwy >_< shouwdews; 
OwO But xDD then ÚwÚ Aenyeas OwO bawe :3 a UwU wiving >w< woad, 
Nyothing UwU so x3 heavy >_< as these :3 woes of ^w^ minye. 
uWu Exit with x3 the >w< body 

Entew UwU WICHAWD ÚwÚ and SOMERSET to ^w^ fight. SOMERSET >_> is ^.^ kiwwed 

>_< WICHAWD. So, >_< wie xDD thou uWu thewe; 
For undewnyeath >w< an alehouse' paltry ^w^ sign, 
uWu The ;;w;; Castwe uWu in Saint >_> Awbans, Somerset 
>_< Hath UwU made x3 the wizard famous uWu in :33 his death. 
OwO Swowd, howd >w< thy ^-^ tempew; uWu heawt, be wrathful stiww: 
Priests pray fow UwU enyemies, >_> but pwinces UwU kiww. uWu Exit 

Fight. ^-^ Excuwsions. Entew ;;w;; KING, xDD QUEEN, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

QUEEN. :33 Away, x3 my ^.^ wowd! >_> You OwO awe UwU swow; fow UwU shame, away! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Can ^.^ we xDD outwun x3 the xDD heavens? ^-^ Good Margaret, >_< stay. 
QUEEN. >_> What OwO awe xDD you UwU made UwU of? You'll nor >w< fight nor fwy. 
Now >_> is >w< it x3 manhood, wisdom, ÚwÚ and ^w^ defence, 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 the ;;w;; enyemy :3 way, ÚwÚ and to ^.^ secuwe >_> us 
^-^ By >_> what ^.^ we ^-^ can, which ^.^ can nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but fwy. 
[Alarum afaw off] 
;;w;; If xDD you be x3 ta'en, ^.^ we xDD then >_> shouwd >_> see x3 the :3 bottom 
Of aww UwU ouw fortunes; >_> but >_> if ^.^ we haply :33 scape- 
;;w;; As weww ^.^ we may, >_> if nyot ^w^ thwough x3 youw nyegwect- 
We UwU shaww to ;;w;; Wondon ÚwÚ get, :3 whewe xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; wov'd, 
xDD And :3 whewe ÚwÚ this ^w^ bweach nyow uWu in UwU ouw fowtunyes UwU made 
^-^ May readily be ^.^ stopp'd. 

^.^ We-entew :3 YOUNG CWIFFOWD 

:3 YOUNG :33 CWIFFOWD. OwO But :3 that x3 my heart's on ÚwÚ futuwe ^-^ mischief ^-^ set, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd speak bwasphemy ere bid xDD you xDD fwy; 
OwO But fwy xDD you :3 must; uncurable ^w^ discomfit 
UwU Weigns uWu in x3 the heawts of aww UwU ouw xDD pwesent pawts. 
:33 Away, fow x3 youw wewief! ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww ^w^ wive 
;;w;; To >_> see uWu theiw day ÚwÚ and them UwU ouw :3 fowtunye give. 
:33 Away, x3 my uWu wowd, away! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu Fiewds nyeaw Saint Awbans 

;;w;; Awawum. >w< Wetweat. Entew YORK, WICHAWD, ^w^ WAWWICK, ÚwÚ and xDD sowdiews, 
with drum ÚwÚ and cowouws 

:3 YOWK. Of >_> Sawisbuwy, who ^.^ can wepowt of :3 him, 
:33 That winter wion, who uWu in xDD wage forgets 
^.^ Aged ^w^ contusions ÚwÚ and aww bwush of time 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 a OwO gawwant uWu in x3 the ^w^ bwow of youth, 
UwU Wepaiws ^.^ him with >_> occasion? This ^w^ happy day 
Is nyot itself, nor uWu have ^.^ we ^.^ won one xDD foot, 
;;w;; If uWu Sawisbuwy be :3 wost. 
>_< WICHAWD. OwO My x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ fathew, 
Thwee times ^w^ to-day UwU I holp ^.^ him to :33 his horse, 
Thwee times ^w^ bestwid :3 him, thrice UwU I x3 wed ^.^ him ^w^ off, 
x3 Pewsuaded ^.^ him from xDD any further ÚwÚ act; 
OwO But still :3 whewe danger UwU was, still there UwU I >w< met him; 
xDD And ^.^ wike rich >_> hangings uWu in :3 a homewy house, 
^w^ So UwU was :33 his xDD wiww uWu in :33 his ;;w;; owd feebwe body. 
But, x3 nyobwe >_< as ^.^ he ;;w;; is, wook :3 whewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 

Entew SALISBURY 

SAWISBUWY. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my uWu swowd, weww x3 hast xDD thou ÚwÚ fought to-day! 
^-^ By x3 th' UwU mass, UwU so uWu did ^.^ we all. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, >w< Wichawd: 
^w^ God xDD knyows >w< how ^-^ wong >w< it >_> is UwU I uWu have to x3 wive, 
xDD And >w< it hath pleas'd xDD Him :3 that >w< thwee times ^w^ to-day 
>_> You uWu have defended ;;w;; me from imminyent death. 
xDD Weww, wowds, ^.^ we uWu have nyot ^w^ got :3 that which ^.^ we uWu have; 
'Tis nyot enough UwU ouw ^-^ foes OwO awe ÚwÚ this time fwed, 
uWu Being >_< opposites of xDD such repairing :33 nyatuwe. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU ouw :33 safety >_> is to ;;w;; fowwow OwO them; 
For, >_< as UwU I heaw, x3 the ^w^ King >_> is ^w^ fwed to ;;w;; Wondon 
;;w;; To caww :3 a xDD pwesent court of >_< Pawwiament. 
Let >_> us pursue ^.^ him ere x3 the UwU wwits OwO go forth. 
>_> What ;;w;; says Lord ^w^ Wawwick? Shall ^.^ we ÚwÚ aftew them? 
WARWICK. >w< Aftew them? Nyay, >w< befowe ÚwÚ them, >_> if ^.^ we ;;w;; can. 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ faith, wowds, uWu 'twas :3 a glorious ^.^ day: 
Saint :3 Awbans' battwe, ^.^ won ^.^ by famous York, 
Shall be :33 etewnyiz'd uWu in aww age to x3 come. 
Sound drum ÚwÚ and trumpets ÚwÚ and to ;;w;; Wondon aww; 
xDD And ^.^ mowe xDD such OwO days >_< as these to >_> us ;;w;; befaww! Exeunt 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





uWu 1591 

^-^ THE ^w^ THIWD OwO PAWT ÚwÚ OF ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE UwU SIXTH 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE UwU SIXTH 
EDWARD, PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ WAWES, :33 his >_< son 
:3 WEWIS XI, ^w^ King of Fwance ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF SOMERSET 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF >_> EXETEW EARL ÚwÚ OF x3 OXFOWD 
EARL ÚwÚ OF NyOWTHUMBEWWAND EARL ÚwÚ OF WESTMOWEWAND 
>w< WOWD CWIFFOWD 
UwU WICHAWD :33 PWANTAGENyET, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK 
EDWARD, EARL ÚwÚ OF uWu MAWCH, afterwards ;;w;; KING >w< EDWAWD IV, :33 his >_< son 
>w< EDMUND, EARL ÚwÚ OF WUTWAND, :33 his >_< son 
GEORGE, afterwards ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF OwO CWAWENCE, :33 his >_< son 
WICHAWD, afterwards ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, :33 his >_< son 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK MARQUIS ÚwÚ OF x3 MONTAGUE 
EARL ÚwÚ OF ^w^ WAWWICK EARL ÚwÚ OF :33 PEMBWOKE 
>w< WOWD ÚwÚ HASTINGS >w< WOWD ^w^ STAFFOWD 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN x3 MOWTIMEW, :33 uncwe to x3 the >w< Duke of York 
ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH x3 MOWTIMEW, :33 uncwe to x3 the >w< Duke of York 
>_> HENWY, EARL ÚwÚ OF :33 WICHMOND, :3 a :33 youth 
>w< WOWD x3 WIVEWS, ÚwÚ bwothew to xDD Wady Grey 
ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM STANLEY ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN >w< MONTGOMEWY 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN SOMEWVIWWE TUTOW, to Rutland 
>_< MAYOW ÚwÚ OF YORK x3 WIEUTENyANT ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE :3 TOWEW 
^-^ A uWu NyOBWEMAN OwO TWO :33 KEEPEWS 
^-^ A UwU HUNTSMAN 
^-^ A ^.^ SON :3 that >_> has ^.^ kiwwed :33 his >w< fathew 
^-^ A >_< FATHEW :3 that >_> has ^.^ kiwwed :33 his >_< son 

>w< QUEEN OwO MAWGAWET 
:3 WADY x3 GWEY, afterwards >w< QUEEN to Edward IV 
BONA, :3 sistew to x3 the OwO Fwench xDD Queen 

Soldiers, ;;w;; Attendants, Messengews, ;;w;; Watchmen, :33 etc. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
England ÚwÚ and Fwance 

^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ÚwÚ Pawwiament House 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK, EDWARD, WICHAWD, ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK, ^.^ MONTAGUE, ^w^ WAWWICK, 
ÚwÚ and xDD sowdiews, with ^-^ white >_< woses uWu in uWu theiw ÚwÚ hats 

WARWICK. UwU I wonder >w< how x3 the ^w^ King escap'd UwU ouw ^w^ hands. 
:3 YOWK. While ^.^ we >_< puwsu'd x3 the ^.^ howsemen of x3 the :33 nyowth, 
>w< He slily OwO stowe OwO away ÚwÚ and left :33 his ÚwÚ men; 
Wheweat x3 the great Lord of >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
>_< Whose warlike OwO eaws couwd >_< nyevew >w< bwook >w< wetweat, 
x3 Cheew'd x3 up x3 the ;;w;; dwooping xDD awmy, ÚwÚ and himsewf, 
Lord uWu Cwiffowd, ÚwÚ and Lord Stafford, aww abweast, 
>w< Chawg'd UwU ouw :33 main battle's ÚwÚ fwont, x3 and, breaking x3 in, 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ by x3 the :33 swowds of ^w^ common ^-^ sowdiews ^w^ swain. 
>_> EDWAWD. Lord Stafford's ÚwÚ fathew, >w< Duke of ;;w;; Buckingham, 
Is xDD eithew :3 swain ow wounded dangerous; 
UwU I uWu cweft :33 his ;;w;; beavew with :3 a downwight >_> bwow. 
:33 That ÚwÚ this >_> is ^-^ twue, ÚwÚ fathew, behowd :33 his blood. 
x3 MONTAGUE. ^.^ And, brother, hewe's x3 the ^-^ Eaww of >_< Wiwtshiwe's bwood, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I encount'wed >_< as x3 the :3 battwes ^.^ join'd. 
>_< WICHAWD. ^w^ Speak xDD thou fow uWu me, ÚwÚ and tell them >_> what UwU I ^.^ did. 
[Thwowing down SOMERSET'S UwU head] 
:3 YOWK. Richard hath best OwO desewv'd of aww x3 my >w< sons. 
OwO But >_> is x3 youw Gwace >_< dead, x3 my Lord of :3 Somewset? 
NyOWFOWK. >w< Such UwU hope uWu have aww x3 the winye of John of OwO Gaunt! 
>_< WICHAWD. ^-^ Thus UwU do UwU I UwU hope to ;;w;; shake ^w^ King >_> Henwy's >_> head. 
WARWICK. xDD And UwU so UwU do ^.^ I. Victorious Prince of York, 
^.^ Befowe UwU I >_> see uWu thee seated uWu in :3 that >_< thwonye 
>_< Which nyow x3 the ;;w;; house of :3 Wancastew x3 usuwps, 
UwU I vow ^.^ by heaven these eyes UwU shaww >_< nyevew uWu cwose. 
This >_> is x3 the ^w^ pawace of x3 the x3 feawfuw OwO King, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this x3 the xDD wegaw UwU seat. Possess :33 it, Yowk; 
For ÚwÚ this >_> is xDD thinye, ÚwÚ and nyot ^w^ King >_> Henwy's heirs'. 
:3 YOWK. ;;w;; Assist ;;w;; me >w< then, x3 sweet Wawwick, ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 wiww; 
For ÚwÚ hithew ^.^ we uWu have xDD bwoken uWu in ^.^ by >_> fowce. 
NyOWFOWK. ^-^ We'ww aww xDD assist uWu you; ^.^ he :3 that fwies UwU shaww die. 
:3 YOWK. >_< Thanks, ^-^ gentwe x3 Nyowfowk. OwO Stay ^.^ by uWu me, x3 my :3 wowds; 
^.^ And, xDD sowdiews, xDD stay ÚwÚ and uWu wodge ^.^ by ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this OwO nyight. 
^w^ [They OwO go >_< up] 
WARWICK. xDD And when x3 the ^w^ King ;;w;; comes, offer ^.^ him nyo violence. 
OwO Unwess ^.^ he >_> seek to thwust xDD you x3 out perforce. 
:3 YOWK. uWu The xDD Queen ÚwÚ this day OwO hewe ÚwÚ howds her parliament, 
OwO But xDD wittwe ^w^ thinks ^.^ we UwU shaww be of her counciw. 
^-^ By wowds ow ^w^ bwows OwO hewe wet >_> us x3 win UwU ouw ÚwÚ wight. 
>_< WICHAWD. Awm'd >_< as ^.^ we awe, >_> wet's xDD stay within ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ house. 
WARWICK. uWu The bwoody ;;w;; pawwiament UwU shaww ÚwÚ this be ;;w;; caww'd, 
OwO Unwess Pwantagenyet, >w< Duke of York, be OwO King, 
xDD And ^-^ bashfuw Henwy >w< depos'd, x3 whose cowardice 
>_< Hath UwU made >_> us by-wowds to UwU ouw enemies. 
:3 YOWK. UwU Then OwO weave ;;w;; me >_> nyot, x3 my :3 wowds; be ^-^ wesowute: 
UwU I >_> mean to OwO take >w< possession of x3 my ÚwÚ wight. 
WARWICK. >_> Nyeithew x3 the OwO King, nor ^.^ he :3 that loves ^.^ him ^w^ best, 
uWu The OwO pwoudest ^.^ he :3 that ÚwÚ howds x3 up Lancaster, 
Dawes stir :3 a OwO wing >_> if Wawwick ;;w;; shake :33 his bells. 
I'll plant Pwantagenyet, ^.^ woot ^.^ him x3 up who dares. 
Resolve ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; Wichawd; >_< cwaim x3 the :3 Engwish crown. 
>_< [YOWK occupies x3 the throne] 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING >_> HENWY, ^-^ CWIFFOWD, OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, 
>_< WESTMOWEWAND, x3 EXETEW, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, with red >_< woses uWu in 
uWu theiw ÚwÚ hats 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My wowds, wook :3 whewe x3 the ^.^ stuwdy rebel OwO sits, 
Even uWu in x3 the >w< chaiw of ;;w;; state! ÚwÚ Bewike ^.^ he >_< means, 
uWu Back'd ^.^ by x3 the powew of Wawwick, :3 that UwU fawse peer, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; aspiwe >w< unto x3 the >_< cwown ÚwÚ and OwO weign >_< as king. 
^-^ Eaww of >_> Nyowthumbewwand, ^.^ he >_< swew >w< thy father; 
xDD And xDD thinye, Lord >_> Cwiffowd; ÚwÚ and xDD you both uWu have ^.^ vow'd xDD wevenge 
On :3 him, :33 his sons, :33 his xDD favouwites, ÚwÚ and :33 his fwiends. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ;;w;; If UwU I be >_> nyot, heavens be ^w^ weveng'd on me! 
:33 CWIFFOWD. uWu The UwU hope thereof x3 makes xDD Cwiffowd mouwn uWu in steew. 
WESTMORELAND. What, UwU shaww ^.^ we suffew :3 this? :3 Wet's pluck ^.^ him down; 
OwO My >_< heawt fow ÚwÚ angew burns; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >w< bwook :3 it. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ Be *giggles shyly* patient, ^-^ gentwe ^-^ Eaww of >_> Westmowewand. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. ;;w;; Patience >_> is fow powtwoons xDD such >_< as he; 
>w< He x3 duwst nyot sit there xDD had x3 youw >w< fathew liv'd. 
OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, OwO hewe uWu in x3 the ;;w;; pawwiament 
Let >_> us OwO assaiw x3 the family of x3 Yowk. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Weww x3 hast xDD thou spoken, :3 cousin; be >w< it :3 so. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD Ah, ^.^ knyow xDD you nyot x3 the UwU city ;;w;; favouws ÚwÚ them, 
xDD And ;;w;; they uWu have troops of ^-^ sowdiews uWu at uWu theiw beck? 
UwU EXETEW. OwO But when x3 the >w< Duke >_> is :3 swain they'ww quickly fwy. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_< Faw be x3 the xDD thought of ÚwÚ this from >_> Henwy's uWu heawt, 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a :3 shambwes of x3 the ;;w;; pawwiament house! 
x3 Cousin of >_< Exetew, ÚwÚ fwowns, wowds, ÚwÚ and :3 thweats, 
Shall be x3 the >w< waw :3 that Henwy means to ÚwÚ use. 
^.^ Thou uWu factious >w< Duke of York, descend x3 my >_< thwonye 
xDD And ^w^ knyeew fow xDD gwace ÚwÚ and xDD mewcy uWu at x3 my feet; 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy OwO suvweign. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ thinye. 
UwU EXETEW. For UwU shame, come down; ^.^ he UwU made uWu thee >w< Duke of x3 Yowk. 
:3 YOWK. >_< 'Twas x3 my ^.^ inhewitance, >_< as x3 the ÚwÚ eawwdom uWu was. 
UwU EXETEW. x3 Thy >w< fathew UwU was :3 a traitor to x3 the crown. 
WARWICK. >_< Exetew, xDD thou awt :3 a traitor to x3 the >_< cwown 
^w^ In fowwowing ÚwÚ this usuwping >_< Henwy. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. ;;w;; Whom >_> shouwd ^.^ he ;;w;; fowwow >_> but :33 his natural UwU king? 
WARWICK. >_< Twue, >_> Cwiffowd; ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's Richard >w< Duke of x3 Yowk. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD And UwU shaww UwU I x3 stand, ÚwÚ and xDD thou sit uWu in x3 my uWu thwonye? 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ It ^w^ must ÚwÚ and UwU shaww be so; :3 content thysewf. 
WARWICK. ^w^ Be >w< Duke of ^-^ Wancastew; wet ^.^ him be ;;w;; King. 
WESTMORELAND. >w< He >_> is both ^w^ King ÚwÚ and >w< Duke of ^-^ Wancastew; 
xDD And :3 that x3 the Lord of ^-^ Westmowewand UwU shaww x3 maintain. 
WARWICK. xDD And Wawwick UwU shaww dispwuv :3 it. >_> You x3 fowget 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO awe UwU those which UwU chas'd xDD you from x3 the >_> fiewd, 
xDD And >_< swew x3 youw fathers, ÚwÚ and with cowouws ;;w;; spwead 
UwU Mawch'd ^w^ thwough x3 the UwU city to x3 the ^w^ pawace gates. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Yes, Wawwick, UwU I remember >w< it to x3 my gwief; 
^.^ And, ^.^ by :33 his x3 souw, xDD thou ÚwÚ and >w< thy ;;w;; house UwU shaww rue :3 it. 
WESTMORELAND. Pwantagenyet, of ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and these >w< thy sons, 
x3 Thy :3 kinsmen, ÚwÚ and >w< thy OwO fwiends, I'll uWu have ^.^ mowe ;;w;; wives 
Than ^.^ dwops of :3 bwood :3 wewe uWu in x3 my father's :3 veins. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Uwge >w< it nyo mowe; xDD west :3 that ^w^ instead of wowds 
UwU I >_> send ÚwÚ thee, Wawwick, xDD such :3 a :3 messengew 
;;w;; As UwU shaww xDD wevenge :33 his :33 death >w< befowe UwU I stir. 
WARWICK. OwO Poow uWu Cwiffowd, >w< how UwU I ^w^ scown :33 his :33 wowthwess ^.^ thweats! 
:3 YOWK. Will xDD you ^.^ we x3 show UwU ouw ;;w;; titwe to x3 the crown? 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, UwU ouw :33 swowds UwU shaww pwead >w< it uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_> What ;;w;; titwe x3 hast UwU thou, traitor, to x3 the crown? 
x3 Thy >w< fathew UwU was, >_< as xDD thou awt, >w< Duke of Yowk; 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ gwandfathew, Wogew Mortimer, ^-^ Eaww of :3 Mawch: 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the >_< son of Henwy x3 the :33 Fifth, 
Who UwU made x3 the uWu Dauphin ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO Fwench to ^w^ stoop, 
xDD And :3 seiz'd ;;w;; upon uWu theiw UwU towns ÚwÚ and ^w^ pwovinces. 
WARWICK. Talk nyot of >_< Fwance, sith xDD thou x3 hast wost >w< it all. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu The Lord Protector wost :33 it, ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ I: 
x3 When UwU I UwU was cwown'd, UwU I UwU was >_> but >w< nyinye ^w^ months ^-^ owd. 
>_< WICHAWD. >_> You OwO awe ;;w;; owd enough now, ÚwÚ and yet uWu methinks xDD you uWu wose. 
:3 Fathew, teaw x3 the >_< cwown from x3 the usuwpew's >_> head. 
>_> EDWAWD. ÚwÚ Sweet ÚwÚ fathew, UwU do so; uWu set >w< it on x3 youw >_> head. 
x3 MONTAGUE. ^-^ Good brother, >_< as xDD thou >_> wov'st ÚwÚ and :33 honyouwest awms, 
:3 Wet's >w< fight >w< it x3 out ÚwÚ and nyot stand caviwwing OwO thus. 
>_< WICHAWD. Sound xDD dwums ÚwÚ and twumpets, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ King xDD wiww fwy. 
:3 YOWK. ^-^ Sons, peace! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Peace ^w^ thou! ÚwÚ and UwU give ^w^ King Henwy OwO weave to >_< speak. 
WARWICK. OwO Pwantagenyet UwU shaww speak fiwst. >w< Heaw :3 him, :3 wowds; 
xDD And be xDD you silent ÚwÚ and ^.^ attentive :3 too, 
For ^.^ he :3 that interrupts ^.^ him UwU shaww nyot wive. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 Think'st xDD thou :3 that UwU I xDD wiww OwO weave x3 my >_> kingwy throne, 
^-^ Whewein x3 my >_> gwandsiwe ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< fathew :3 sat? 
No; xDD fiwst UwU shaww >w< waw xDD unpeopwe ÚwÚ this x3 my ÚwÚ weawm; 
Ay, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw cowouws, often :3 bownye uWu in >_< Fwance, 
xDD And nyow uWu in England to UwU ouw heart's great >_> sowwow, 
Shall be x3 my >w< winding-sheet. Why ÚwÚ faint UwU you, lords? 
OwO My title's UwU good, ÚwÚ and xDD bettew uWu faw than ÚwÚ his. 
WARWICK. ^-^ Pwuv :33 it, Henry, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt be ;;w;; King. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Henwy x3 the Fourth ^.^ by conquest ^w^ got x3 the crown. 
:3 YOWK. >_< 'Twas ^.^ by ;;w;; webewwion OwO against :33 his king. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 [Aside] UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what to say; x3 my title's OwO weak.- 
Teww uWu me, OwO may nyot :3 a x3 king ^-^ adopt >w< an heir? 
:3 YOWK. >_> What ^w^ then? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ An >_> if ^.^ he may, xDD then ^w^ am UwU I ÚwÚ wawfuw uWu King; 
For ^.^ Wichawd, uWu in x3 the x3 view of UwU many wowds, 
ÚwÚ Wesign'd x3 the >_< cwown to Henwy x3 the >_> Fouwth, 
>_< Whose heir x3 my >w< fathew UwU was, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ his. 
:3 YOWK. >w< He wose OwO against :3 him, ^.^ being :33 his sovereign, 
xDD And UwU made ^.^ him to resign :33 his >_< cwown perforce. 
WARWICK. >_< Suppose, x3 my wowds, ^.^ he uWu did >w< it unconstrain'd, 
^w^ Think xDD you >w< 'twewe prejudicial to :33 his crown? 
UwU EXETEW. No; fow ^.^ he couwd nyot UwU so resign :33 his >_< cwown 
OwO But :3 that x3 the :3 nyext heir >_> shouwd >_< succeed ÚwÚ and reign. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Awt xDD thou OwO against us, >w< Duke of Exetew? 
UwU EXETEW. ÚwÚ His >_> is x3 the wight, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU pawdon x3 me. 
:3 YOWK. Why whisper UwU you, x3 my wowds, ÚwÚ and answew ^w^ nyot? 
UwU EXETEW. OwO My >_> conscience uWu tewws ;;w;; me ^.^ he >_> is ÚwÚ wawfuw ;;w;; King. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 [Aside] All xDD wiww ;;w;; wevowt from uWu me, ÚwÚ and turn to ^.^ him. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Pwantagenyet, fow aww x3 the >_< cwaim xDD thou :3 way'st, 
^w^ Think nyot :3 that Henwy UwU shaww be UwU so depos'd. 
WARWICK. :3 Depos'd ^.^ he UwU shaww be, uWu in ;;w;; despite of all. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^.^ Thou awt ;;w;; deceiv'd. 'Tis nyot >w< thy >w< southewn powew 
Of Essex, ^-^ Nyowfowk, ^.^ Suffowk, nor of UwU Kent, 
>_< Which x3 makes uWu thee OwO thus pwesumptuous ÚwÚ and :3 pwoud, 
UwU Can uWu set x3 the >w< Duke x3 up uWu in ;;w;; despite of x3 me. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. ^w^ King Henry, be >w< thy ;;w;; titwe >w< wight ow wwong, 
Lord xDD Cwiffowd x3 vows to >w< fight uWu in >w< thy OwO defence. 
^-^ May :3 that x3 gwound gape, ÚwÚ and swawwow ;;w;; me ^.^ awive, 
Whewe UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ knyeew to ^.^ him :3 that >_< swew x3 my ;;w;; fathew! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 O uWu Cwiffowd, >w< how >w< thy wowds :3 wevive x3 my :33 heawt! 
:3 YOWK. Henwy of Lancaster, resign >w< thy crown. 
>_> What mutter UwU you, ow >_> what xDD conspiwe UwU you, lords? 
WARWICK. Do >w< wight >w< unto ÚwÚ this princely >w< Duke of Yowk; 
:33 Ow UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ fiww x3 the ;;w;; house with :3 awmed men, 
xDD And uvw x3 the >w< chaiw of state, :3 whewe nyow ^.^ he OwO sits, 
:3 Wwite x3 up :33 his ;;w;; titwe with usuwping blood. 
[He stamps with :33 his :33 foot ÚwÚ and x3 the 
^-^ sowdiews x3 show themselves] 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My Lord of Wawwick, hear >_> but one wowd: 
Let ;;w;; me fow ÚwÚ this x3 my ;;w;; wife-time OwO weign >_< as king. 
:3 YOWK. :33 Confiwm x3 the >_< cwown to ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and to >_< minye >_> heiws, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt OwO weign uWu in :33 quiet OwO whiwe xDD thou >w< wiv'st. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I ^w^ am OwO content. Richard Pwantagenyet, 
^w^ Enjoy x3 the ^w^ kingdom ÚwÚ aftew x3 my ÚwÚ decease. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. >_> What wrong >_> is ÚwÚ this >w< unto x3 the Prince x3 youw ^w^ son! 
WARWICK. >_> What ÚwÚ good >_> is ÚwÚ this to England ÚwÚ and >_< himsewf! 
WESTMORELAND. Base, x3 feawfuw, ÚwÚ and despairing Henry! 
:33 CWIFFOWD. How x3 hast xDD thou >w< injuw'd both >w< thysewf ÚwÚ and ow ÚwÚ us! 
WESTMORELAND. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot xDD stay to hear these >w< awticwes. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. x3 Nyow ^.^ I. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. ^.^ Come, OwO cousin, wet >_> us tell x3 the xDD Queen these ;;w;; nyews. 
WESTMORELAND. UwU Faweweww, faint-hearted ÚwÚ and degenerate OwO king, 
^w^ In x3 whose UwU cowd :3 bwood nyo spawk of honour bides. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^w^ Be xDD thou :3 a prey >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; house of York 
xDD And ^-^ die uWu in ^.^ bands fow ÚwÚ this xDD unmanwy >w< deed! 
:33 CWIFFOWD. ^w^ In :3 dweadfuw >w< waw uWu mayst xDD thou be ^.^ uvwcome, 
:33 Ow ^w^ wive uWu in uWu peace ÚwÚ abandon'd ÚwÚ and >_> despis'd! 
Exeunt OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, ^-^ CWIFFOWD, 
ÚwÚ and WESTMOWEWAND 
WARWICK. Tuwn ÚwÚ this :3 way, Henry, ÚwÚ and regard them not. 
UwU EXETEW. ^-^ They >_> seek UwU wevenge, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe xDD wiww nyot >_< yiewd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD Ah, ^w^ Exetew! 
WARWICK. Why >_> shouwd xDD you uWu sigh, x3 my xDD wowd? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ÚwÚ Nyot fow myself, Lord Wawwick, >_> but x3 my x3 son, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I OwO unnyatuwawwy UwU shaww disinherit. 
OwO But be >w< it >_< as >w< it may. :33 [To ÚwÚ YOWK] UwU I OwO hewe :3 entaiw 
uWu The >_< cwown to uWu thee ÚwÚ and to ^.^ thinye :3 heiws fow evew; 
ÚwÚ Conditionyawwy, :3 that OwO hewe xDD thou OwO take >w< an ^-^ oath 
;;w;; To xDD cease ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ civiw waw, x3 and, whiwst UwU I x3 wive, 
;;w;; To honour ;;w;; me >_< as >w< thy x3 king ÚwÚ and sovereign, 
xDD And :3 nyeithew ^.^ by UwU tweason nor hostility 
;;w;; To >_> seek to put ;;w;; me down ÚwÚ and OwO weign thysewf. 
:3 YOWK. This ^-^ oath UwU I ^w^ wiwwingwy take, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww >_< pewfowm. 
[Coming from x3 the throne] 
WARWICK. OwO Wong ^w^ wive ^w^ King Henry! Pwantagenyet, >_< embwace ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD And ^-^ wong ^w^ wive UwU thou, ÚwÚ and these >w< thy forward sons! 
:3 YOWK. Now York ÚwÚ and :3 Wancastew OwO awe ;;w;; weconciw'd. 
UwU EXETEW. Accurs'd be ^.^ he :3 that >_> seeks to >_< make them foes! 
[Sennet. :3 Hewe ;;w;; they come down] 
:3 YOWK. UwU Faweweww, x3 my >_> gwacious wowd; I'll to x3 my >w< castwe. 
WARWICK. xDD And I'll >_< keep ;;w;; Wondon with x3 my soldiers. 
NyOWFOWK. xDD And UwU I to Norfolk with x3 my fowwowews. 
x3 MONTAGUE. xDD And UwU I >w< unto x3 the :33 sea, from >_> whence UwU I >_< came. 
Exeunt x3 the xDD YOWKISTS 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. xDD And I, with grief ÚwÚ and >_> sowwow, to x3 the >_< couwt. 

Entew >w< QUEEN OwO MAWGAWET ÚwÚ and x3 the PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ WAWES 

UwU EXETEW. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the :3 Queen, x3 whose :33 wooks OwO bewway her OwO angew. 
I'll ^.^ steaw xDD away. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_< Exetew, UwU so xDD wiww ^.^ I. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Nyay, OwO go nyot from OwO me; UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow thee. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ Be *giggles shyly* patient, ^-^ gentwe queen, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww >_< stay. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Who ^.^ can be patient uWu in xDD such :33 extwemes? 
xDD Ah, wwetched ;;w;; man! Wouwd UwU I xDD had >w< died :3 a ;;w;; maid, 
xDD And >_< nyevew :3 seen ÚwÚ thee, >_< nyevew :3 bownye uWu thee x3 son, 
x3 Seeing xDD thou x3 hast ^.^ pwov'd UwU so unnyatuwaw :3 a ;;w;; fathew! 
>_< Hath ^.^ he OwO desewv'd to wose :33 his ÚwÚ biwthwight >_< thus? 
UwU Hadst xDD thou >_> but :3 wov'd ^.^ him half UwU so weww >_< as I, 
:33 Ow UwU fewt :3 that :33 pain which UwU I uWu did fow ^.^ him ^w^ once, 
:33 Ow >_< nyouwish'd ^.^ him >_< as UwU I uWu did with x3 my bwood, 
^.^ Thou wouldst uWu have left >w< thy deawest ^w^ heawt-bwood there 
Rather than uWu have UwU made :3 that x3 savage uWu duke ^.^ thinye heiw, 
xDD And ^w^ disinhewited ^.^ thinye >w< onwy OwO son. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. :3 Fathew, xDD you ;;w;; cannyot disinherit x3 me. 
;;w;; If xDD you be OwO King, >w< why >_> shouwd nyot UwU I :3 succeed? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, Mawgawet; UwU pawdon uWu me, x3 sweet OwO son. 
uWu The ^-^ Eaww of Wawwick ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< Duke enforc'd x3 me. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Enforc'd uWu thee! Awt xDD thou ^w^ King ÚwÚ and wiwt be 
x3 fowc'd? 
UwU I ^-^ shame to hear uWu thee >_< speak. xDD Ah, uWu timowous OwO wwetch! 
^.^ Thou x3 hast ÚwÚ undonye ;;w;; thysewf, >w< thy x3 son, ÚwÚ and OwO me; 
xDD And xDD giv'n >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; house of York xDD such >_> head 
;;w;; As xDD thou shalt OwO weign >_> but ^.^ by uWu theiw sufferance. 
;;w;; To :3 entaiw ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 heiws >w< unto x3 the :3 cwown, 
>_> What >_> is >w< it >_> but to >_< make >w< thy >w< sepuwchwe 
xDD And :3 cweep x3 into >w< it uWu faw >w< befowe >w< thy >w< time? 
Wawwick >_> is Chancellor ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; wowd of Calais; 
Stern Fawconbwidge ;;w;; commands x3 the nyawwow uWu seas; 
uWu The >w< Duke >_> is UwU made Protector of x3 the ÚwÚ weawm; 
xDD And yet shalt xDD thou be :3 safe? >w< Such :33 safety ÚwÚ finds 
uWu The uWu twembwing :3 wamb ^w^ enviwonyed with wowves. 
xDD Had UwU I :33 been thewe, which ^w^ am :3 a siwwy ^w^ woman, 
uWu The ^-^ sowdiews >_> shouwd uWu have :3 toss'd ;;w;; me on uWu theiw >_< pikes 
^.^ Befowe UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have >_> gwanted to :3 that act. 
OwO But xDD thou prefer'st >w< thy >w< wife >w< befowe ^.^ thinye honour; 
xDD And ^-^ seeing xDD thou ÚwÚ dost, UwU I OwO hewe :3 divowce myself, 
UwU Both from >w< thy ^-^ tabwe, Henry, ÚwÚ and >w< thy ^.^ bed, 
Untiw :3 that ;;w;; act of ;;w;; pawwiament be :33 wepeaw'd 
Whereby x3 my >_< son >_> is UwU disinhewited. 
uWu The ^w^ nyowthewn wowds :3 that uWu have ;;w;; fowswown >w< thy cowouws 
Will ;;w;; fowwow >_> minye, >_> if >_> once ;;w;; they >_> see them uWu spwead; 
xDD And ;;w;; spwead ;;w;; they UwU shaww be, to >w< thy fouw xDD disgwace 
xDD And :33 uttew xDD wuin of x3 the ;;w;; house of x3 Yowk. 
^-^ Thus UwU do UwU I OwO weave thee. ^.^ Come, x3 son, >_> wet's :3 away; 
Our ^.^ awmy >_> is weady; come, we'll ÚwÚ aftew OwO them. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Stay, ^-^ gentwe Margaret, ÚwÚ and hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^.^ Thou x3 hast ^-^ spoke ^w^ too much already; get uWu thee ;;w;; gonye. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ Gentwe >_< son Edwawd, xDD thou wiwt xDD stay with me? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Ay, to be ^w^ muwdew'd ^.^ by :33 his enemies. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. x3 When UwU I ^-^ wetuwn with OwO victowy from x3 the field 
I'll >_> see x3 youw Grace; >w< tiww xDD then I'll ;;w;; fowwow her. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^.^ Come, x3 son, :3 away; ^.^ we OwO may nyot :33 wingew OwO thus. 
Exeunt >w< QUEEN OwO MAWGAWET ÚwÚ and x3 the PWINCE 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO Poow ^.^ queen! How wuv to ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and to her >_< son 
>_< Hath UwU made her bweak x3 out x3 into terms of rage! 
;;w;; Weveng'd OwO may ^.^ she be on :3 that hateful ;;w;; Duke, 
>_< Whose ^.^ haughty ^-^ spiwit, >_> winged with >_> desiwe, 
Will >_> cost x3 my :3 cwown, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike >w< an :33 empty >_> eagwe 
ÚwÚ Tiwe on x3 the >w< fwesh of ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and of x3 my ^w^ son! 
uWu The ^-^ woss of UwU those >w< thwee wowds torments x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
I'll >w< wwite >w< unto ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and entweat them fair; 
^.^ Come, OwO cousin, xDD you UwU shaww be x3 the :3 messengew. 
UwU EXETEW. xDD And I, UwU I hope, UwU shaww reconcile them all. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Sandaw ^.^ Castwe, nyeaw Wakefield, uWu in ^.^ Yowkshiwe 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew EDWARD, WICHAWD, ÚwÚ and x3 MONTAGUE 

>_< WICHAWD. UwU Bwothew, ^w^ though UwU I be ^-^ youngest, UwU give ;;w;; me >_< weave. 
>_> EDWAWD. :3 Nyo, UwU I ^.^ can xDD bettew :33 pway x3 the >_< owatow. 
x3 MONTAGUE. OwO But UwU I uWu have weasons >w< stwong ÚwÚ and fowcibwe. 

Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK 

:3 YOWK. Why, >w< how now, xDD sons ÚwÚ and xDD bwothew! uWu at :3 a OwO stwife? 
>_> What >_> is x3 youw OwO quawwew? How began >w< it uWu fiwst? 
>_> EDWAWD. No quarrel, >_> but :3 a :3 swight ÚwÚ contention. 
:3 YOWK. About UwU what? 
>_< WICHAWD. About :3 that which uWu concewns x3 youw Gwace ÚwÚ and >w< us- 
uWu The >_< cwown of England, ÚwÚ fathew, which >_> is x3 youws. 
:3 YOWK. Minye, boy? ÚwÚ Nyot >w< tiww ^w^ King Henwy be uWu dead. 
>_< WICHAWD. uWu Youw >w< wight ÚwÚ depends nyot on :33 his >w< wife ow death. 
>_> EDWAWD. Now xDD you OwO awe heiw, >_< thewefowe ^.^ enjoy >w< it now. 
^-^ By ^.^ giving x3 the ;;w;; house of :3 Wancastew OwO weave to ^w^ bweathe, 
^.^ It xDD wiww xDD outwun UwU you, ÚwÚ fathew, uWu in x3 the OwO end. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I >_> took >w< an ^-^ oath :3 that ^.^ he >_> shouwd ÚwÚ quietwy reign. 
>_> EDWAWD. OwO But fow :3 a ^w^ kingdom xDD any ^-^ oath OwO may be uWu bwoken: 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd bweak :3 a thousand >w< oaths to OwO weign one year. 
>_< WICHAWD. No; ^w^ God UwU fowbid x3 youw Gwace >_> shouwd be forsworn. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I UwU shaww be, >_> if UwU I >_< cwaim ^.^ by open waw. 
>_< WICHAWD. I'll ^-^ pwuv x3 the >_< contwawy, >_> if you'ww hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst >_> nyot, son; >w< it >_> is >_> impossibwe. 
>_< WICHAWD. ^-^ An ^-^ oath >_> is of nyo :33 moment, ^.^ being nyot >_> took 
^.^ Befowe :3 a true ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wawfuw magistrate 
:33 That hath ÚwÚ authowity uvw ^.^ him :3 that uWu sweaws. 
Henwy xDD had nyonye, >_> but uWu did usuwp x3 the pwace; 
Then, ^-^ seeing uWu 'twas ^.^ he :3 that UwU made xDD you to >_< depose, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; oath, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> is :33 vain ÚwÚ and uWu fwivowous. 
>_< Thewefowe, to arms. ^.^ And, ÚwÚ fathew, UwU do >_> but think 
How x3 sweet :3 a ^.^ thing >w< it >_> is to ^-^ weaw :3 a :3 cwown, 
OwO Within x3 whose :33 ciwcuit >_> is ;;w;; Ewysium 
xDD And aww :3 that ^-^ poets >_> feign of ÚwÚ bwiss ÚwÚ and ^-^ joy. 
Why UwU do ^.^ we :33 wingew >_< thus? UwU I ;;w;; cannyot xDD west 
Untiw x3 the ^-^ white wose :3 that UwU I ^-^ weaw be dy'd 
Even uWu in x3 the :3 wukewawm :3 bwood of >_> Henwy's ;;w;; heawt. 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ Wichawd, >_< enyough; UwU I xDD wiww be OwO King, ow die. 
UwU Bwothew, xDD thou shalt to ;;w;; Wondon presently 
xDD And ^w^ whet on Wawwick to ÚwÚ this enterprise. 
Thou, ^.^ Wichawd, shalt to x3 the >w< Duke of Norfolk 
xDD And tell ^.^ him pwiviwy of UwU ouw >w< intent. 
>_< You, Edwawd, UwU shaww >w< unto x3 my Lord ÚwÚ Cobham, 
With ÚwÚ whom x3 the ;;w;; Kentishmen xDD wiww ^w^ wiwwingwy OwO wise; 
^w^ In them UwU I ^w^ twust, fow ;;w;; they OwO awe xDD sowdiews, 
OwO Witty, couwteous, liberal, full of >w< spiwit. 
While xDD you OwO awe OwO thus >w< empwoy'd, >_> what resteth ^.^ mowe 
OwO But :3 that UwU I >_> seek ;;w;; occasion >w< how to >_< wise, 
xDD And yet x3 the ^w^ King nyot privy to x3 my dwift, 
x3 Nyow xDD any of x3 the ;;w;; house of Lancaster? 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

But, >_< stay. >_> What nyews? Why UwU com'st xDD thou uWu in xDD such ÚwÚ post? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The xDD Queen with aww x3 the ^w^ nyowthewn ^.^ eawws ÚwÚ and wowds 
>_> Intend OwO hewe to x3 besiege xDD you uWu in x3 youw >w< castwe. 
:33 She >_> is x3 hawd ^.^ by with ÚwÚ twenty thousand ÚwÚ men; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe fortify x3 youw OwO howd, x3 my OwO wowd. 
:3 YOWK. Ay, with x3 my ^-^ swowd. What! think'st xDD thou :3 that ^.^ we feaw them? 
Edward ÚwÚ and ^.^ Wichawd, xDD you UwU shaww xDD stay with OwO me; 
OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew ^w^ Montague UwU shaww x3 post to OwO Wondon. 
Let x3 nyobwe Wawwick, ÚwÚ Cobham, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ west, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ we uWu have left pwotectows of x3 the OwO King, 
With x3 pow'wfuw UwU powicy strengthen x3 themsewves 
xDD And :33 twust nyot :33 simpwe Henwy nor :33 his :33 oaths. 
x3 MONTAGUE. UwU Bwothew, UwU I go; I'll x3 win ÚwÚ them, feaw >w< it not. 
xDD And OwO thus UwU most x3 humbwy UwU I UwU do OwO take x3 my >_< weave. uWu Exit 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH >w< MOWTIMEW 

:3 YOWK. Sir john ÚwÚ and Sir ^.^ Hugh Mortimer, >_< minye uncwes! 
>_> You OwO awe come to Sandaw uWu in :3 a ^w^ happy houw; 
uWu The ^.^ awmy of x3 the xDD Queen >_> mean to x3 besiege >_> us. 
ÚwÚ SIW OwO JOHN. :33 She UwU shaww nyot need; we'll :3 meet her uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd. 
:3 YOWK. What, with five thousand men? 
>_< WICHAWD. Ay, with five ^-^ hundwed, ÚwÚ fathew, fow :3 a ^w^ nyeed. 
^-^ A xDD woman's ^-^ genyewaw; >_> what >_> shouwd ^.^ we fear? 
:3 [A :33 mawch afaw off] 
>_> EDWAWD. UwU I hear uWu theiw OwO dwums. :3 Wet's uWu set UwU ouw ;;w;; men uWu in order, 
xDD And x3 issue fowth ÚwÚ and bid them ÚwÚ battwe stwaight. 
:3 YOWK. :3 Five ;;w;; men to ;;w;; twenty! ;;w;; Though x3 the ^w^ odds be ^.^ gweat, 
UwU I doubt >_> nyot, uWu uncwe, of UwU ouw ^.^ victowy. 
xDD Many :3 a ÚwÚ battwe uWu have UwU I ^.^ won uWu in >_< Fwance, 
x3 When >_< as x3 the ;;w;; enyemy hath :33 been ;;w;; ten to onye; 
Why >_> shouwd UwU I nyot nyow uWu have x3 the ^.^ wike xDD success? Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
OwO Fiewd of ÚwÚ battwe ^-^ between Sandaw ;;w;; Castwe ÚwÚ and >_< Wakefiewd 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew RUTLAND ÚwÚ and :33 his TUTOR 

RUTLAND. xDD Ah, :33 whithew UwU shaww UwU I fwy to ;;w;; scape uWu theiw hands? 
xDD Ah, tutor, wook :3 whewe bwoody xDD Cwiffowd comes! 

Entew CWIFFOWD ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

:33 CWIFFOWD. Chaplain, away! x3 Thy xDD pwiesthood >w< saves >w< thy life. 
;;w;; As fow x3 the :3 bwat of ÚwÚ this ^w^ accuwsed x3 duke, 
>_< Whose >w< fathew >_< swew x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ he UwU shaww die. 
^w^ TUTOW. xDD And I, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD wiww UwU beaw ^.^ him UwU company. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Soldiers, OwO away with x3 him! 
^w^ TUTOW. xDD Ah, uWu Cwiffowd, murder nyot ÚwÚ this innocent child, 
Lest xDD thou be hated both of ^w^ God ÚwÚ and man. 
UwU Exit, xDD fowced x3 off ^.^ by ^-^ sowdiews 
:33 CWIFFOWD. How now, >_> is ^.^ he >_< dead ÚwÚ awweady? :33 Ow >_> is >w< it feaw 
:33 That x3 makes ^.^ him ^-^ cwose :33 his uWu eyes? I'll open OwO them. 
RUTLAND. ^w^ So :33 wooks x3 the pent-up wion ^-^ o'ew x3 the uWu wwetch 
:33 That trembles :33 undew :33 his ^.^ devouwing x3 paws; 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ he walks, >_< insuwting ^-^ o'ew :33 his ^.^ pwey, 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ he ;;w;; comes, to rend :33 his x3 wimbs ^w^ asundew. 
xDD Ah, ^-^ gentwe uWu Cwiffowd, OwO kiww ;;w;; me with >w< thy uWu swowd, 
xDD And nyot with xDD such :3 a UwU cwuew threat'ning look! 
ÚwÚ Sweet uWu Cwiffowd, hear ;;w;; me speak >w< befowe UwU I die. 
UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too >_> mean :3 a x3 subject fow >w< thy wwath; 
^w^ Be xDD thou ^w^ weveng'd on men, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me wive. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. ^w^ In :33 vain xDD thou >w< speak'st, poor ^.^ boy; x3 my father's :3 bwood 
>_< Hath ;;w;; stopp'd x3 the uWu passage :3 whewe >w< thy wowds >_> shouwd enter. 
RUTLAND. UwU Then wet x3 my father's :3 bwood open >w< it ;;w;; again: 
>w< He >_> is :3 a ^w^ man, x3 and, uWu Cwiffowd, cope with ^.^ him. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. xDD Had UwU I >w< thy >_< bwethwen UwU hewe, uWu theiw ;;w;; wives ÚwÚ and ^.^ thinye 
^.^ Wewe nyot xDD wevenge sufficient fow OwO me; 
:3 Nyo, >_> if UwU I xDD digg'd x3 up >w< thy fowefathews' gwaves 
xDD And UwU hung uWu theiw wotten ^w^ coffins x3 up uWu in >_> chains, 
^.^ It couwd nyot >_> swake >_< minye ^-^ iwe nor ^w^ ease x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
uWu The ^.^ sight of xDD any of x3 the ;;w;; house of York 
Is >_< as :3 a UwU fuwy to x3 towment x3 my ^.^ souw; 
xDD And >w< tiww UwU I ^.^ woot x3 out uWu theiw ^w^ accuwsed winye 
xDD And OwO weave nyot one ^.^ awive, UwU I ^w^ wive uWu in uWu heww. 
Therefore- 
RUTLAND. >_< O, wet ;;w;; me pray >w< befowe UwU I OwO take x3 my ;;w;; death! 
;;w;; To uWu thee UwU I >_> pway: x3 sweet uWu Cwiffowd, pity x3 me. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. >w< Such pity >_< as x3 my ÚwÚ wapiew's :33 point affowds. 
RUTLAND. UwU I >_< nyevew uWu did uWu thee harm; >w< why wiwt xDD thou slay me? 
:33 CWIFFOWD. x3 Thy >w< fathew ^w^ hath. 
RUTLAND. OwO But uWu 'twas ere UwU I UwU was born. 
^.^ Thou x3 hast one son; fow :33 his ÚwÚ sake pity uWu me, 
Lest uWu in xDD wevenge x3 theweof, sith ^w^ God >_> is >_< just, 
>w< He be >_< as misewabwy :3 swain >_< as ^.^ I. 
xDD Ah, wet ;;w;; me ^w^ wive uWu in :3 pwison aww x3 my days; 
xDD And when UwU I UwU give ;;w;; occasion of offence 
UwU Then wet ;;w;; me >_> die, fow nyow xDD thou x3 hast nyo OwO cause. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. No >w< cause! 
x3 Thy >w< fathew >_< swew x3 my father; OwO thewefowe, die. [Stabs >w< him] 
RUTLAND. xDD Di faciant ^w^ waudis x3 summa sit ;;w;; ista xDD tuae! :33 [Dies] 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Pwantagenyet, UwU I come, >w< Pwantagenyet; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >w< thy ÚwÚ son's :3 bwood cweaving to x3 my ^.^ bwade 
Shall ^w^ wust ;;w;; upon x3 my ^w^ weapon, >w< tiww >w< thy bwood, 
>_> Congeaw'd with uWu this, UwU do >_< make ;;w;; me xDD wipe x3 off xDD both. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK 

:3 YOWK. uWu The ^.^ awmy of x3 the xDD Queen hath ^w^ got x3 the >_> fiewd. 
OwO My uncles both OwO awe :3 swain uWu in >_< wescuing OwO me; 
xDD And aww x3 my ÚwÚ fowwowews to x3 the eagew foe 
Tuwn back ÚwÚ and fly, ^.^ wike ÚwÚ ships >w< befowe x3 the ;;w;; wind, 
:33 Ow lambs >_< puwsu'd ^.^ by xDD hungew-stawved wowves. 
OwO My ^.^ sons- ^w^ God xDD knyows >_> what hath uWu bechanced OwO them; 
OwO But ÚwÚ this UwU I UwU knyow- ;;w;; they uWu have OwO demean'd x3 themsewves 
Wike ;;w;; men bown to renown ^.^ by >w< wife ow death. 
Thwee times uWu did Richard >_< make :3 a ^w^ wanye to uWu me, 
xDD And thrice cried OwO 'Couwage, ;;w;; fathew! >w< fight >w< it >_> out.' 
xDD And full >_< as ;;w;; oft ^-^ came Edward to x3 my x3 side 
With puwpwe ^-^ fawchion, painted to x3 the hiwt 
^w^ In :3 bwood of UwU those :3 that xDD had encount'wed ^.^ him. 
xDD And when x3 the ^-^ hawdiest :33 wawwiows uWu did wetiwe, 
Richard cried :33 'Chawge, ÚwÚ and UwU give nyo :33 foot of gwound!' 
xDD And cried >_> 'A :3 cwown, ow >_> ewse :3 a glorious x3 tomb! 
^-^ A sceptre, ow >w< an ÚwÚ eawthwy sepulchre!' 
With ÚwÚ this ^.^ we :3 chawg'd again; >_> but x3 out ^.^ awas! 
We xDD bodg'd again; >_< as UwU I uWu have :3 seen :3 a swan 
With bootwess labour x3 swim OwO against x3 the >_< tide 
xDD And spend her ÚwÚ stwength with :33 uvw-matching OwO waves. 
:3 [A showt OwO awawum ;;w;; within] 
xDD Ah, x3 hawk! uWu The uWu fataw ÚwÚ fowwowews UwU do pursue, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ faint ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot fwy uWu theiw >_> fuwy; 
xDD And :3 wewe UwU I :33 stwong, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU shun uWu theiw xDD fuwy. 
uWu The UwU sands OwO awe UwU nyumb'wed :3 that >_< make x3 up x3 my :33 wife; 
:3 Hewe ^w^ must UwU I ;;w;; stay, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe x3 my >w< wife ^w^ must OwO end. 

Entew >w< QUEEN >_> MAWGAWET, ^-^ CWIFFOWD, OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, 
x3 the PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ WAWES, ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

^.^ Come, bwoody uWu Cwiffowd, OwO wough >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
UwU I dawe x3 youw quenchless UwU fuwy to ^.^ mowe uWu wage; 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw ^.^ butt, ÚwÚ and UwU I abide x3 youw :3 shot. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ;;w;; Yiewd to UwU ouw mercy, OwO pwoud UwU Pwantagenyet. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Ay, to xDD such xDD mewcy >_< as :33 his ;;w;; wuthwess awm 
With downwight payment ^w^ show'd >w< unto x3 my :33 fathew. 
Now xDD Phaethon hath >_> tumbwed from :33 his ^.^ caw, 
xDD And UwU made >w< an x3 evenying uWu at x3 the UwU nyoontide prick. 
:3 YOWK. OwO My :3 ashes, >_< as x3 the xDD phoenyix, OwO may ;;w;; bwing fowth 
^-^ A biwd :3 that xDD wiww xDD wevenge ;;w;; upon xDD you aww; 
xDD And uWu in :3 that UwU hope UwU I ^-^ thwow >_< minye eyes to ^.^ heaven, 
:3 Scownying whate'er xDD you ^.^ can UwU affwict ;;w;; me with. 
Why come xDD you ^w^ nyot? What! xDD muwtitudes, ÚwÚ and fear? 
:33 CWIFFOWD. ^w^ So ^w^ cowawds >w< fight when ;;w;; they ^.^ can fwy nyo >w< fuwthew; 
^w^ So doves UwU do peck x3 the >_< fawcon's piewcing tawons; 
^w^ So despewate >_< thieves, aww :33 hopewess of uWu theiw lives, 
Bweathe x3 out uWu invectives uWu 'gainst x3 the ^-^ officews. 
:3 YOWK. x3 O uWu Cwiffowd, >_> but ^.^ bethink uWu thee >_> once OwO again, 
xDD And uWu in >w< thy xDD thought o'errun x3 my xDD fowmew time; 
^.^ And, >_> if xDD thou ;;w;; canst fow blushing, x3 view ÚwÚ this >w< face, 
xDD And ^-^ bite >w< thy >_> tongue :3 that UwU swandews ^.^ him with cowardice 
>_< Whose fwown hath UwU made uWu thee ÚwÚ faint ÚwÚ and fwy ere x3 this! 
:33 CWIFFOWD. UwU I xDD wiww nyot >w< bandy with uWu thee ;;w;; wowd fow word, 
OwO But >_< buckwew with uWu thee ÚwÚ bwows, twice >w< two fow onye. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. UwU Howd, uWu vawiant >_> Cwiffowd; fow :3 a thousand ÚwÚ causes 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< pwowong ^-^ awhiwe x3 the UwU twaitow's life. 
Wrath x3 makes ^.^ him >w< deaf; speak UwU thou, >_< Nyowthumbewwand. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. UwU Howd, Clifford! UwU do nyot honour ^.^ him UwU so much 
;;w;; To uWu pwick >w< thy finger, ^w^ though to ;;w;; wound :33 his ;;w;; heawt. 
>_> What valour :3 wewe :33 it, when :3 a cur xDD doth grin, 
For one to thwust :33 his uWu hand ^-^ between :33 his teeth, 
x3 When ^.^ he ^w^ might :33 spuwn ^.^ him with :33 his :33 foot ÚwÚ away? 
^.^ It >_> is waw's >w< pwize to OwO take aww ^w^ vantages; 
xDD And ;;w;; ten to one >_> is nyo x3 impeach of ;;w;; vawouw. 
^w^ [They uWu way ^.^ hands on YORK, who stwuggwes] 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Ay, :33 ay, UwU so :3 stwives x3 the :3 woodcock with x3 the gin. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^w^ So xDD doth x3 the OwO cony :3 stwuggwe uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ nyet. 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ So twiumph thieves ;;w;; upon uWu theiw conquer'd UwU booty; 
^w^ So true ;;w;; men :33 yiewd, with ^.^ wobbews UwU so o'ew-match'd. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. >_> What ^.^ wouwd x3 youw Gwace uWu have donye >w< unto ^.^ him ^.^ nyow? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^-^ Bwave ÚwÚ wawwiows, xDD Cwiffowd ÚwÚ and >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
^.^ Come, >_< make ^.^ him stand ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this UwU mowehiww OwO hewe 
:33 That waught uWu at ^-^ mountains with outstwetched awms, 
ÚwÚ Yet pawted >_> but x3 the :3 shadow with :33 his >w< hand. 
What, UwU was >w< it xDD you :3 that ^.^ wouwd be Engwand's UwU king? 
^-^ Was't xDD you :3 that UwU weveww'd uWu in UwU ouw ;;w;; pawwiament 
xDD And UwU made :3 a ÚwÚ pweachment of x3 youw xDD high xDD descent? 
Whewe OwO awe x3 youw UwU mess of xDD sons to back xDD you ^.^ nyow? 
uWu The >_< wanton Edward ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ wusty ÚwÚ Geowge? 
xDD And where's :3 that uWu vawiant >_> cwook-back x3 pwodigy, 
>_> Dicky x3 youw ^-^ boy, :3 that with :33 his gwumbwing uWu voice 
Was UwU wont to cheer :33 his ^.^ dad uWu in ^w^ mutinyies? 
:3 Ow, with x3 the ^-^ west, :3 whewe >_> is x3 youw :3 dawwing Wutwand? 
x3 Wook, York: UwU I x3 stain'd ÚwÚ this napkin with x3 the :3 bwood 
:33 That uWu vawiant xDD Cwiffowd with :33 his ÚwÚ wapiew's :33 point 
Made x3 issue from x3 the ^w^ bosom of x3 the ^.^ boy; 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ thinye eyes ^.^ can UwU watew fow :33 his UwU death, 
UwU I UwU give uWu thee ÚwÚ this to xDD dwy >w< thy >_> cheeks uWu withaw. 
ÚwÚ Awas, poor York! >_> but :3 that UwU I ^-^ hate uWu thee deadly, 
UwU I >_> shouwd wament >w< thy >w< misewabwe state. 
UwU I :33 pwithee UwU gwieve to >_< make ;;w;; me >_> mewwy, x3 Yowk. 
What, hath >w< thy fiery >_< heawt UwU so >_> pawch'd ^.^ thinye entwaiws 
:33 That nyot :3 a teaw ^.^ can faww fow >_< Wutwand's UwU death? 
Why awt xDD thou *giggles shyly* patient, man? ^.^ Thou shouwdst be >w< mad; 
xDD And UwU I to >_< make uWu thee ^-^ mad UwU do ÚwÚ mock uWu thee OwO thus. 
:33 Stamp, wave, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fwet, :3 that UwU I OwO may ^.^ sing ÚwÚ and >_< dance. 
^.^ Thou wouldst be fee'd, UwU I see, to >_< make ;;w;; me >_< spowt; 
York ;;w;; cannyot speak ^w^ unwess ^.^ he ^-^ weaw :3 a crown. 
^-^ A >_< cwown fow OwO Yowk!-and, wowds, bow wow to ^.^ him. 
:33 Howd xDD you :33 his ^.^ hands whiwst UwU I UwU do uWu set >w< it :3 on. 
[Putting :3 a paper >_< cwown on :33 his UwU head] 
Ay, marry, ^w^ siw, nyow :33 wooks ^.^ he ^.^ wike :3 a x3 king! 
Ay, ÚwÚ this >_> is ^.^ he :3 that >_> took ^w^ King >_> Henwy's xDD chaiw, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is ^.^ he UwU was :33 his adopted ÚwÚ heiw. 
OwO But >w< how >_> is >w< it :3 that great OwO Pwantagenyet 
Is cwown'd UwU so >w< soon ÚwÚ and broke :33 his solemn ^w^ oath? 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ bethink uWu me, xDD you >_> shouwd nyot be ^w^ King 
Tiww UwU ouw ^w^ King Henwy xDD had >_> shook ^.^ hands with death. 
xDD And xDD wiww xDD you pawe x3 youw >_> head uWu in >_> Henwy's xDD gwowy, 
xDD And rob :33 his ^.^ tempwes of x3 the diadem, 
Now uWu in :33 his :3 wife, OwO against x3 youw >w< howy ^w^ oath? 
>_< O, UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; fauwt ^w^ too ^w^ too 
:33 Off with x3 the >_< cwown ÚwÚ and with x3 the >_< cwown :33 his head; 
^.^ And, whiwst ^.^ we ^w^ bweathe, OwO take time to UwU do ^.^ him uWu dead. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. :33 That >_> is x3 my office, fow x3 my father's sake. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Nyay, >_< stay; >_> wet's hear x3 the xDD owisons ^.^ he makes. 
:3 YOWK. She-wolf of >_< Fwance, >_> but xDD wowse than wolves of >_< Fwance, 
>_< Whose >_> tongue ^.^ mowe UwU poisons than x3 the x3 addew's UwU tooth! 
How iww-beseeming >_> is >w< it uWu in >w< thy sex 
;;w;; To twiumph ^.^ wike >w< an Amazonian twuww 
>_> Upon uWu theiw :3 woes ÚwÚ whom :3 fowtunye captivates! 
OwO But :3 that >w< thy OwO face >_> is >w< visawd-wike, >w< unchanging, 
Made ^w^ impudent with use of eviw uWu deeds, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^-^ assay, OwO pwoud queen, to >_< make uWu thee x3 bwush. 
;;w;; To tell uWu thee >_> whence xDD thou ÚwÚ cam'st, of ÚwÚ whom xDD dewiv'd, 
^.^ Wewe ^-^ shame enough to ^-^ shame ÚwÚ thee, OwO wewt xDD thou nyot >w< shamewess. 
x3 Thy >w< fathew bears x3 the OwO type of ^w^ King of Naples, 
Of both x3 the Sicils ÚwÚ and >_< Jewusawem, 
ÚwÚ Yet nyot UwU so :3 weawthy >_< as >w< an :3 Engwish ^-^ yeoman. 
>_< Hath :3 that poor :33 monyawch ÚwÚ taught uWu thee to insult? 
^.^ It >_< nyeeds >_> nyot, nor >w< it ÚwÚ boots uWu thee >_> nyot, OwO pwoud queen; 
OwO Unwess x3 the >_> adage ^w^ must be vewified, 
:33 That x3 beggaws UwU mounted >w< wun uWu theiw UwU howse to death. 
'Tis beauty :3 that xDD doth ;;w;; oft >_< make x3 women ^.^ pwoud; 
But, ^w^ God >w< He ;;w;; knyows, >w< thy share thereof >_> is small. 
'Tis viwtue :3 that xDD doth >_< make them UwU most ^.^ admiw'd; 
uWu The :33 contwawy xDD doth >_< make uWu thee x3 wond'wed at. 
'Tis guvwnment :3 that x3 makes them xDD seem ^w^ divinye; 
uWu The ^.^ want thereof x3 makes uWu thee abominable. 
^.^ Thou awt >_< as opposite to every ÚwÚ good 
;;w;; As x3 the >_> Antipodes OwO awe >w< unto us, 
:33 Ow >_< as x3 the south to x3 the septentwion. 
x3 O ;;w;; tigew's >_< heawt wwapp'd uWu in :3 a xDD woman's hide! 
How ^w^ couwdst xDD thou >_< dwain x3 the life-blood of x3 the child, 
;;w;; To bid x3 the >w< fathew xDD wipe :33 his eyes withaw, 
xDD And yet be :3 seen to UwU beaw :3 a xDD woman's ^.^ face? 
UwU Women OwO awe OwO soft, OwO miwd, >_< pitifuw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ fwexibwe: 
^.^ Thou :33 stewn, UwU obduwate, flinty, wough, UwU wemowsewess. 
Bid'st xDD thou ;;w;; me rage? Why, nyow xDD thou x3 hast >w< thy uWu wish; 
Wouldst uWu have ;;w;; me ^w^ weep? Why, nyow xDD thou x3 hast >w< thy :33 wiww; 
For waging wind ^w^ bwows x3 up ^w^ incessant showews, 
xDD And when x3 the xDD wage allays, x3 the xDD wain UwU begins. 
;;w;; These tears OwO awe x3 my x3 sweet >_< Wutwand's obsequies; 
xDD And every >_< dwop x3 cwies UwU vengeance fow :33 his :33 death 
^w^ 'Gainst ÚwÚ thee, UwU feww uWu Cwiffowd, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ thee, UwU fawse Frenchwoman. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Beshrew uWu me, >_> but :33 his passions move ;;w;; me UwU so 
:33 That hardly ^.^ can UwU I ^.^ check x3 my eyes from >w< teaws. 
:3 YOWK. :33 That OwO face of :33 his x3 the hungwy cannibals 
Wouwd nyot uWu have ^-^ touch'd, ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have x3 stain'd with ^-^ bwood; 
OwO But xDD you OwO awe ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ inhuman, ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ inyexowabwe- 
>_< O, ;;w;; ten times more- than :33 tigews of Hywcanyia. 
:3 See, ;;w;; wuthwess queen, :3 a hapwess father's >w< teaws. 
This cwoth xDD thou >_> dipp'dst uWu in :3 bwood of x3 my x3 sweet ^-^ boy, 
xDD And UwU I with tears UwU do >_< wash x3 the :3 bwood xDD away. 
^w^ Keep xDD thou x3 the nyapkin, ÚwÚ and OwO go boast of >_< this; 
xDD And >_> if xDD thou ^.^ teww'st x3 the x3 heavy ^-^ stowy wight, 
>_> Upon x3 my x3 souw, x3 the ÚwÚ heawews xDD wiww x3 shed teaws; 
Yea, even x3 my ^-^ foes xDD wiww x3 shed fast-falling tears 
xDD And >_> say UwU 'Awas, >w< it UwU was :3 a ^.^ piteous >w< deed!' 
There, OwO take x3 the :3 cwown, ÚwÚ and with x3 the >_< cwown x3 my uWu cuwse; 
xDD And uWu in >w< thy >_< nyeed xDD such uWu comfowt come to uWu thee 
;;w;; As nyow UwU I reap uWu at >w< thy ^w^ too UwU cwuew xDD hand! 
ÚwÚ Hawd-heawted uWu Cwiffowd, OwO take ;;w;; me from x3 the wowwd; 
OwO My :3 souw to ^.^ heaven, x3 my :3 bwood ;;w;; upon x3 youw uWu heads! 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. xDD Had ^.^ he :33 been :3 swaughtew-man to aww x3 my kin, 
UwU I >_> shouwd nyot fow x3 my >w< wife >_> but xDD weep with :3 him, 
;;w;; To >_> see >w< how ^.^ inwy sorrow :3 gwipes :33 his ^-^ souw. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. What, weeping-wipe, x3 my Lord Northumberland? 
^w^ Think >_> but ;;w;; upon x3 the wrong ^.^ he uWu did >_> us all, 
xDD And :3 that xDD wiww quickly xDD dwy >w< thy mewting >w< teaws. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. >_> Hewe's fow x3 my ;;w;; oath, hewe's fow x3 my father's death. 
[Stabbing >w< him] 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. xDD And hewe's to >w< wight UwU ouw gentle-hearted king. 
[Stabbing >w< him] 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ Open x3 Thy uWu gate of mercy, >_> gwacious uWu God! 
OwO My :3 souw fwies ^w^ thwough these wounds to >_> seek x3 out ;;w;; Thee. 
:33 [Dies] 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. :33 Off with :33 his head, ÚwÚ and uWu set >w< it on York gates; 
^w^ So York OwO may overlook x3 the :33 town of x3 Yowk. 
>w< Fwouwish. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^-^ A uWu pwain nyeaw Mortimer's UwU Cwoss uWu in Herefordshire 

^-^ A >w< mawch. Entew EDWARD, WICHAWD, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw powew 

>_> EDWAWD. UwU I wonder >w< how UwU ouw princely >w< fathew xDD scap'd, 
:33 Ow >w< whethew ^.^ he be ÚwÚ scap'd OwO away ow nyo 
Fwom Cwiffowd's ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Nyowthumbewwand's ÚwÚ puwsuit. 
xDD Had ^.^ he :33 been x3 ta'en, ^.^ we >_> shouwd uWu have heard x3 the nyews; 
xDD Had ^.^ he :33 been x3 swain, ^.^ we >_> shouwd uWu have heard x3 the nyews; 
:33 Ow xDD had ^.^ he xDD scap'd, uWu methinks ^.^ we >_> shouwd uWu have heard 
uWu The ^w^ happy UwU tidings of :33 his ÚwÚ good ;;w;; escape. 
How fawes x3 my bwothew? Why >_> is ^.^ he UwU so sad? 
>_< WICHAWD. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot joy ÚwÚ untiw UwU I be :3 wesowv'd 
Whewe UwU ouw >w< wight uWu vawiant >w< fathew >_> is ;;w;; become. 
UwU I saw ^.^ him uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ battwe ^-^ wange about, 
xDD And UwU watch'd ^.^ him >w< how ^.^ he singwed xDD Cwiffowd forth. 
:33 Methought ^.^ he bore ^.^ him uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ thickest troop 
;;w;; As xDD doth :3 a wion uWu in :3 a hewd of :33 nyeat; 
:33 Ow >_< as :3 a >_> beaw, ^w^ encompass'd ;;w;; wound with xDD dogs, 
Who xDD having ;;w;; pinch'd :3 a x3 few ÚwÚ and UwU made them ^-^ cwy, 
uWu The xDD west stand aww >_< awoof ÚwÚ and >_< bawk uWu at ^.^ him. 
^w^ So OwO faw'd UwU ouw >w< fathew with :33 his enyemies; 
^w^ So ^w^ fwed :33 his >_< enyemies x3 my warlike :33 fathew. 
Methinks UwU 'tis >w< pwize enough to be :33 his OwO son. 
xDD See >w< how x3 the mownying OwO opes her golden :3 gates 
xDD And UwU takes her >_< faweweww of x3 the glorious OwO sun. 
How weww wesembwes >w< it x3 the prime of youth, 
>_< Twimm'd ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; younkew :33 pwancing to :33 his love! 
>_> EDWAWD. :33 Dazzwe >_< minye ^w^ eyes, ow UwU do UwU I >_> see >w< thwee suns? 
>_< WICHAWD. Thwee glorious :33 suns, >_< each one :3 a :3 pewfect sun; 
ÚwÚ Nyot separated with x3 the >_> wacking >_> cwouds, 
OwO But sever'd uWu in :3 a pawe :33 cweaw-shinying x3 sky. 
:3 See, uWu see! ;;w;; they >_< join, xDD embwace, ÚwÚ and xDD seem to ÚwÚ kiss, 
;;w;; As >_> if ;;w;; they ^.^ vow'd x3 some :33 weague inviolable. 
Now OwO awe ;;w;; they >_> but one ^.^ wamp, one wight, one OwO sun. 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this x3 the heaven figuwes x3 some UwU event. 
>_> EDWAWD. 'Tis wondwous >_> stwange, x3 the ^.^ wike yet >_< nyevew heard uWu of. 
UwU I think >w< it :33 cites us, brother, to x3 the >_> fiewd, 
:33 That :33 we, x3 the xDD sons of >_< bwave Pwantagenyet, 
x3 Each one xDD awweady blazing ^.^ by UwU ouw ^-^ meeds, 
Should :3 nyotwithstanding ^w^ join UwU ouw wights togethew 
xDD And overshine x3 the earth, >_< as ÚwÚ this x3 the wowwd. 
ÚwÚ Whate'ew >w< it ^.^ bodes, hencefowwawd xDD wiww UwU I UwU beaw 
>_> Upon x3 my uWu tawget >w< thwee >w< faiw >_< shinying suns. 
>_< WICHAWD. Nyay, UwU beaw >w< thwee >_> daughtews- ^.^ by x3 youw OwO weave UwU I speak :33 it, 
>_> You wuv x3 the xDD bweedew xDD bettew than x3 the ;;w;; mawe. 

Entew :3 a >_< MESSENGEW, ;;w;; bwowing 

OwO But >_> what awt UwU thou, x3 whose x3 heavy :33 wooks ^w^ foweteww 
;;w;; Some :3 dweadfuw ^-^ stowy >_< hanging on >w< thy ^.^ tongue? 
x3 MESSENGEW. xDD Ah, one :3 that UwU was :3 a ^.^ woefuw :3 wookew-on 
x3 When >_< as x3 the x3 nyobwe >w< Duke of York UwU was x3 swain, 
uWu Youw princely >w< fathew ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< woving ^.^ wowd! 
>_> EDWAWD. >_< O, speak nyo uWu mowe! fow UwU I uWu have heard ^w^ too :33 much. 
>_< WICHAWD. x3 Say >w< how ^.^ he died, fow UwU I xDD wiww hear >w< it all. 
x3 MESSENGEW. Environed ^.^ he UwU was with UwU many ;;w;; foes, 
xDD And :33 stood OwO against them >_< as x3 the UwU hope of Twoy 
^w^ Against x3 the Gweeks :3 that ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^w^ ent'wed >_> Twoy. 
OwO But Hercules >_< himsewf ^w^ must yield to x3 odds; 
xDD And UwU many ;;w;; stwokes, ^w^ though with :3 a xDD wittwe axe, 
Hews down ÚwÚ and fells x3 the ^.^ hawdest-timbew'd ^-^ oak. 
^-^ By UwU many ^.^ hands x3 youw >w< fathew UwU was ^w^ subdu'd; 
OwO But >w< onwy slaught'red ^.^ by x3 the iwefuw awm 
Of unrelenting xDD Cwiffowd ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 Queen, 
Who cwown'd x3 the >_> gwacious >w< Duke uWu in xDD high ÚwÚ despite, 
Waugh'd uWu in :33 his face; ÚwÚ and when with grief ^.^ he ;;w;; wept, 
uWu The ;;w;; wuthwess xDD Queen uWu gave ^.^ him to xDD dwy :33 his >_> cheeks 
^-^ A napkin :3 steeped uWu in x3 the UwU hawmwess :3 bwood 
Of x3 sweet xDD young Rutland, ^.^ by OwO wough xDD Cwiffowd slain; 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew UwU many scowns, UwU many fouw ÚwÚ taunts, 
^-^ They >_> took :33 his head, ÚwÚ and on x3 the :3 gates of York 
^-^ They uWu set x3 the >w< same; ÚwÚ and there >w< it xDD doth >_< wemain, 
uWu The ;;w;; saddest ^.^ spectacwe :3 that ;;w;; e'ew UwU I :3 view'd. 
>_> EDWAWD. ÚwÚ Sweet >w< Duke of York, UwU ouw :3 pwop to lean upon, 
Now xDD thou awt >w< gonye, ^.^ we uWu have nyo staff, nyo >_< stay. 
x3 O uWu Cwiffowd, UwU boist'wous uWu Cwiffowd, xDD thou x3 hast :3 swain 
uWu The xDD fwow'w of Europe fow :33 his ^.^ chivawwy; 
xDD And >w< tweachewouswy x3 hast xDD thou >_< vanquish'd :3 him, 
For uWu hand to uWu hand ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have >_< vanquish'd thee. 
Now x3 my x3 souw's ^w^ pawace >_> is :33 become :3 a x3 pwison. 
xDD Ah, ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she bweak from hence, :3 that ÚwÚ this x3 my >w< body 
^.^ Might uWu in x3 the x3 gwound be OwO cwosed x3 up uWu in west! 
For >_< nyevew henceforth UwU shaww UwU I joy again; 
Nyevew, x3 O ;;w;; nyevew, UwU shaww UwU I >_> see ^.^ mowe ^-^ joy. 
>_< WICHAWD. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> weep, fow aww x3 my body's :33 moistuwe 
Scarce sewves to quench x3 my fuwnyace-buwnying heawt; 
x3 Nyow ^.^ can x3 my >_> tongue xDD unwoad x3 my heart's great buwden, 
For sewf-same wind :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd speak withal 
Is x3 kindwing ÚwÚ coaws :3 that fiwes aww x3 my UwU bweast, 
xDD And buwns ;;w;; me x3 up with flames :3 that tears ^.^ wouwd >_> quench. 
;;w;; To xDD weep >_> is to >_< make less x3 the UwU depth of ÚwÚ gwief. 
Tears xDD then fow ^w^ babes; ^w^ bwows ÚwÚ and xDD wevenge fow me! 
^.^ Wichawd, UwU I UwU beaw >w< thy UwU nyame; I'll >_< venge >w< thy UwU death, 
:33 Ow ^-^ die uWu wenyownyed ^.^ by uWu attempting :3 it. 
>_> EDWAWD. ÚwÚ His xDD nyame :3 that uWu vawiant uWu duke hath left with ÚwÚ thee; 
ÚwÚ His x3 dukedom ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< chaiw with ;;w;; me >_> is left. 
>_< WICHAWD. Nyay, >_> if xDD thou be :3 that princely eagwe's bird, 
uWu Show >w< thy >_< descent ^.^ by >_< gazing uWu 'gainst x3 the sun; 
For >w< chaiw ÚwÚ and dukedom, >_< thwonye ÚwÚ and :33 kingdom, OwO say: 
^-^ Eithew :3 that >_> is xDD thinye, ow >_> ewse xDD thou OwO wewt nyot ÚwÚ his. 

^-^ Mawch. Entew ^w^ WAWWICK, ^.^ MONTAGUE, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^.^ awmy 

WARWICK. How now, >w< faiw lords! >_> What >_> fawe? >_> What nyews abroad? 
>_< WICHAWD. UwU Gweat Lord of Wawwick, >_> if ^.^ we >_> shouwd ^w^ wecount 
Our xDD bawefuw nyews ÚwÚ and uWu at >_< each word's dewivewance 
>w< Stab poinards uWu in UwU ouw >w< fwesh >w< tiww aww :3 wewe x3 towd, 
uWu The wowds ^.^ wouwd >_< add ^.^ mowe ^w^ anguish than x3 the wounds. 
x3 O uWu vawiant uWu wowd, x3 the >w< Duke of York >_> is ;;w;; swain! 
>_> EDWAWD. x3 O Wawwick, x3 Wawwick! :3 that OwO Pwantagenyet 
>_< Which hewd uWu thee ÚwÚ deawwy >_< as :33 his x3 souw's wedemption 
Is ^.^ by x3 the xDD stewn Lord xDD Cwiffowd donye to death. 
WARWICK. uWu Ten OwO days ^w^ ago UwU I >w< dwown'd these nyews uWu in teaws; 
xDD And now, to >_< add ^.^ mowe UwU measuwe to x3 youw :33 woes, 
UwU I come to tell xDD you ^.^ things sith xDD then ^.^ befaww'n. 
>w< Aftew x3 the bwoody >w< fway uWu at >_< Wakefiewd :33 fought, 
Whewe x3 youw >_< bwave >w< fathew >w< bweath'd :33 his ^-^ watest :3 gasp, 
:33 Tidings, >_< as >w< swiftwy >_< as x3 the :3 posts couwd uWu wun, 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me of x3 youw ^-^ woss ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu depawt. 
I, xDD then uWu in Wondon, keeper of x3 the OwO King, 
Muster'd x3 my xDD sowdiews, OwO gathewed flocks of OwO fwiends, 
xDD And xDD vewy weww :33 appointed, >_< as UwU I ^-^ thought, 
UwU Mawch'd toward Saint Awbans to uWu intewcept x3 the :3 Queen, 
ÚwÚ Beawing x3 the ^w^ King uWu in x3 my behawf along; 
For ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ scouts UwU I UwU was >w< advewtised 
:33 That ^.^ she UwU was xDD coming with :3 a full :3 intent 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ dash UwU ouw wate x3 decwee uWu in ;;w;; pawwiament 
:3 Touching ^w^ King >_> Henwy's ^-^ oath ÚwÚ and x3 youw succession. 
Short xDD tawe to make- ^.^ we uWu at Saint Awbans :3 met, 
Our :3 battwes join'd, ÚwÚ and both >w< sides fiercely ^w^ fought; 
OwO But >w< whethew uWu 'twas x3 the >_< cowdnyess of x3 the OwO King, 
Who >_> wook'd full gently on :33 his warlike queen, 
:33 That wobb'd x3 my ^-^ sowdiews of uWu theiw ^.^ heated >w< spween, 
:33 Ow >w< whethew uWu 'twas wepowt of her uWu success, 
:33 Ow ^.^ mowe than ^w^ common feaw of Cwiffowd's rigour, 
Who :3 thundews to :33 his captives :3 bwood ÚwÚ and UwU death, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; judge; but, to OwO concwude with truth, 
^-^ Theiw >_< weapons ^.^ wike to lightning ^-^ came ÚwÚ and OwO went: 
Our :33 sowdiews', ^.^ wike x3 the ^-^ nyight-oww's lazy :33 fwight 
:33 Ow ^.^ wike >w< an idle thweshew with :3 a ^w^ fwaiw, 
Feww gently ;;w;; down, >_< as >_> if ;;w;; they >w< stwuck uWu theiw fwiends. 
UwU I cheer'd them x3 up with justice of UwU ouw >_< cause, 
With promise of xDD high x3 pay ÚwÚ and great wewawds, 
OwO But aww uWu in OwO vain; ;;w;; they xDD had nyo >_< heawt to x3 fight, 
xDD And ^.^ we uWu in them nyo UwU hope to x3 win x3 the uWu day; 
^w^ So :3 that ^.^ we x3 fwed: x3 the ^w^ King >w< unto x3 the >w< Queen; 
Lord ^w^ Geowge x3 youw brother, ^-^ Nyowfowk, ÚwÚ and myself, 
^w^ In ^.^ haste UwU post-haste OwO awe come to ^w^ join with uWu you; 
For uWu in x3 the ^w^ mawches OwO hewe ^.^ we heard xDD you :3 wewe 
^.^ Making anyothew >_> head to >w< fight ;;w;; again. 
>_> EDWAWD. Whewe >_> is x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, ^-^ gentwe ^w^ Wawwick? 
xDD And when ^-^ came ^w^ Geowge from ÚwÚ Buwgundy to Engwand? 
WARWICK. ;;w;; Some six >_< miwes x3 off x3 the >w< Duke >_> is with x3 the soldiers; 
xDD And fow x3 youw brother, ^.^ he UwU was :3 watewy sent 
Fwom x3 youw uWu kind uWu aunt, :3 Duchess of x3 Buwgundy, 
With >_> aid of ^-^ sowdiews to ÚwÚ this needful waw. 
>_< WICHAWD. >_< 'Twas xDD odds, >w< bewike, when uWu vawiant Wawwick OwO fwed. 
x3 Oft uWu have UwU I heard :33 his pwaises uWu in ;;w;; puwsuit, 
OwO But ^w^ nye'ew >w< tiww nyow :33 his OwO scandaw of x3 wetiwe. 
WARWICK. x3 Nyow nyow x3 my >w< scandaw, ^.^ Wichawd, dost xDD thou :3 heaw; 
For xDD thou shalt ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this >w< stwong >w< wight uWu hand of >_< minye 
UwU Can pluck x3 the diadem from ÚwÚ faint >_> Henwy's >_> head 
xDD And wring x3 the x3 awfuw sceptre from :33 his uWu fist, 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ he >_< as famous ÚwÚ and >_< as bold uWu in >w< waw 
;;w;; As ^.^ he >_> is ^.^ fam'd fow uWu miwdnyess, ÚwÚ peace, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwayew. 
>_< WICHAWD. UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it weww, Lord ÚwÚ Wawwick; uWu bwame ;;w;; me not. 
'Tis wuv UwU I UwU beaw >w< thy :33 gwowies x3 makes ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
OwO But uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 twoubwous time UwU what's to be done? 
Shall ^.^ we OwO go ^-^ thwow OwO away UwU ouw coats of steew 
xDD And ^-^ wwap UwU ouw >_< bodies uWu in black ÚwÚ mouwnying-gowns, 
Nyumbewing UwU ouw >w< Ave-Mawies with UwU ouw beads? 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ^.^ we on x3 the hewmets of UwU ouw ^-^ foes 
Teww UwU ouw xDD devotion with UwU wevengefuw >_> awms? 
;;w;; If fow x3 the last, >_> say UwU 'Ay,' ÚwÚ and to :33 it, lords. 
WARWICK. Why, >_< thewefowe Wawwick ^-^ came to >_> seek xDD you out; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe x3 comes x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew >_> Montague. 
uWu Attend uWu me, lords. uWu The OwO pwoud >_< insuwting :3 Queen, 
With xDD Cwiffowd ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ haught >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
xDD And of uWu theiw ÚwÚ feathew UwU many ^-^ moe OwO pwoud :33 biwds, 
:3 Have ;;w;; wwought x3 the easy-melting ^w^ King ^.^ wike ^w^ wax. 
>w< He >w< swowe >_< consent to x3 youw :3 succession, 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ oath >_> enwowwed uWu in x3 the parliament; 
xDD And nyow to ;;w;; Wondon aww x3 the cwew OwO awe >_> gonye 
;;w;; To frustrate both :33 his ^-^ oath ÚwÚ and >_> what :3 beside 
^-^ May >_< make OwO against x3 the ;;w;; house of Lancaster. 
^-^ Theiw x3 powew, UwU I >_< think, >_> is ;;w;; thiwty thousand strong. 
Now >_> if x3 the OwO hewp of Norfolk ÚwÚ and myself, 
With aww x3 the ^w^ fwiends :3 that UwU thou, >_< bwave ^-^ Eaww of March, 
^-^ Amongst x3 the >w< woving x3 Wewshmen ;;w;; canst x3 pwocuwe, 
Will >_> but amount to five ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty ;;w;; thousand, 
Why, Via! to ;;w;; Wondon xDD wiww ^.^ we :33 mawch x3 amain, 
xDD And >_> once again :3 bestwide UwU ouw UwU foaming ;;w;; steeds, 
xDD And >_> once again cwy 'Charge ;;w;; upon UwU ouw xDD foes!' 
OwO But >_< nyevew >_> once again turn back ÚwÚ and fwy. 
>_< WICHAWD. Ay, nyow uWu methinks UwU I hear great Wawwick >_< speak. 
Nye'ew OwO may ^.^ he ^w^ wive to >_> see :3 a OwO sunshinye day 
:33 That x3 cwies 'Wetiwe!' >_> if Wawwick bid ^.^ him >_< stay. 
>_> EDWAWD. Lord Wawwick, on >w< thy shoulder xDD wiww UwU I :3 wean; 
xDD And when xDD thou :3 faiw'st- >_< as ^w^ God UwU fowbid x3 the houw!- 
:3 Must Edward ^.^ faww, which peril heaven ÚwÚ fowfend. 
WARWICK. No longer ^-^ Eaww of March, >_> but >w< Duke of Yowk; 
uWu The :3 nyext degwee >_> is Engwand's royal throne, 
For ^w^ King of England shalt xDD thou be proclaim'd 
^w^ In every >_> bowough >_< as ^.^ we pass along; 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that ^w^ thwows nyot x3 up :33 his cap fow joy 
Shall fow x3 the ;;w;; fauwt >_< make forfeit of :33 his >_> head. 
^w^ King Edwawd, uWu vawiant ^.^ Wichawd, >_< Montague, 
OwO Stay ^.^ we nyo wongew, ^.^ dweaming of OwO wenyown, 
OwO But >_> sound x3 the trumpets ÚwÚ and about UwU ouw uWu task. 
>_< WICHAWD. Then, uWu Cwiffowd, :3 wewe >w< thy >_< heawt >_< as x3 hawd >_< as >w< steew, 
;;w;; As xDD thou x3 hast OwO shown >w< it flinty ^.^ by >w< thy uWu deeds, 
UwU I come to xDD piewce >w< it ow to UwU give uWu thee ^w^ minye. 
>_> EDWAWD. UwU Then strike x3 up OwO dwums. ^w^ God ÚwÚ and Saint ^w^ Geowge fow ÚwÚ us! 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

WARWICK. How >_< nyow! >_> what nyews? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The >w< Duke of Norfolk OwO sends xDD you ;;w;; wowd ^.^ by ;;w;; me 
uWu The xDD Queen >_> is xDD coming with :3 a x3 puissant >_< host, 
xDD And cwaves x3 youw >_< company fow UwU speedy :3 counsew. 
WARWICK. Why, xDD then >w< it >_> sowts; >_< bwave ÚwÚ wawwiows, >_> wet's xDD away. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^.^ Befowe York 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING >_> HENWY, >w< QUEEN >_> MAWGAWET, x3 the PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ WAWES, ^-^ CWIFFOWD, 
OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, with drum ÚwÚ and trumpets 

>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Welcome, x3 my uWu wowd, to ÚwÚ this >_< bwave :33 town of x3 Yowk. 
x3 Yondew's x3 the >_> head of :3 that awch-enyemy 
:33 That >_< sought to be ^w^ encompass'd with x3 youw crown. 
^-^ Doth nyot x3 the :33 object cheer x3 youw uWu heawt, x3 my xDD wowd? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Ay, >_< as x3 the x3 wocks cheer them :3 that feaw uWu theiw uWu wweck- 
;;w;; To >_> see ÚwÚ this UwU sight, >w< it irks x3 my xDD vewy ^-^ souw. 
Withhowd UwU wevenge, uWu deaw x3 God; UwU 'tis nyot x3 my ^w^ fauwt, 
x3 Nyow wittingly uWu have UwU I ;;w;; infwing'd x3 my UwU vow. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. OwO My >_> gwacious ^.^ wiege, ÚwÚ this ^w^ too much lenity 
xDD And ;;w;; hawmfuw pity ^w^ must be laid xDD aside. 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom UwU do wions ;;w;; cast uWu theiw ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; wooks? 
ÚwÚ Nyot to x3 the beast :3 that ^.^ wouwd usuwp uWu theiw >_> den. 
>_< Whose uWu hand >_> is :3 that x3 the >_< fowest UwU beaw xDD doth wick? 
ÚwÚ Nyot :33 his :3 that UwU spoiws her xDD young >w< befowe her ;;w;; face. 
Who ^w^ scapes x3 the xDD wuwking serpent's >w< mowtaw xDD sting? 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ he :3 that :33 sets :33 his :33 foot ;;w;; upon her back, 
uWu The xDD smawwest :33 wowm xDD wiww tuwn, ^.^ being UwU twodden ;;w;; on, 
xDD And doves xDD wiww peck uWu in safeguard of uWu theiw xDD bwood. 
Ambitious York uWu did ^w^ wevew uWu at >w< thy :3 cwown, 
^.^ Thou x3 smiwing OwO whiwe ^.^ he >w< knyit :33 his angry ÚwÚ bwows. 
^-^ He, >_> but :3 a ;;w;; Duke, ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 his >_< son :3 a OwO king, 
xDD And >w< waise :33 his x3 issue ^.^ wike :3 a >w< woving sire: 
Thou, ^.^ being :3 a OwO king, uWu bwess'd with :3 a xDD goodwy x3 son, 
;;w;; Didst yield >_< consent to disinherit :3 him, 
>_< Which argued uWu thee :3 a UwU most unwoving :33 fathew. 
Unweasonyabwe ^-^ cweatuwes >w< feed uWu theiw ^-^ young; 
xDD And ^w^ though :33 man's OwO face be x3 feawfuw to uWu theiw ^w^ eyes, 
Yet, uWu in pwotection of uWu theiw xDD tendew onyes, 
Who hath nyot :3 seen OwO them- even with UwU those x3 wings 
>_< Which ÚwÚ sometime ;;w;; they uWu have ;;w;; us'd with x3 feawfuw flight- 
^-^ Make >w< waw with ^.^ him :3 that ^-^ cwimb'd >w< unto uWu theiw nest, 
;;w;; Offewing uWu theiw UwU own ;;w;; wives uWu in uWu theiw ÚwÚ young's x3 defence 
For UwU shame, x3 my ^.^ wiege, >_< make them x3 youw >_> pwecedent! 
^.^ Wewe >w< it nyot pity :3 that ÚwÚ this xDD goodwy ;;w;; boy 
Should wose :33 his ÚwÚ biwthwight ^.^ by :33 his father's ^w^ fauwt, 
xDD And ^-^ wong heweaftew >_> say >w< unto :33 his chiwd 
x3 'What x3 my great-grandfather ÚwÚ and >_> gwandsiwe ^w^ got 
OwO My xDD cawewess >w< fathew fondwy uWu gave ^-^ away'? 
xDD Ah, >_> what :3 a ^-^ shame :3 wewe x3 this! Wook on x3 the ^.^ boy; 
xDD And wet :33 his xDD manwy >w< face, which uWu pwomiseth 
:3 Successfuw fowtunye, steew >w< thy mewting >_< heawt 
;;w;; To howd ^.^ thinye UwU own ÚwÚ and OwO weave ^.^ thinye UwU own with ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Full weww hath xDD Cwiffowd pway'd x3 the orator, 
>w< Infewwing arguments of ^-^ mighty >_> fowce. 
But, uWu Cwiffowd, tell uWu me, :33 didst xDD thou >_< nyevew hear 
:33 That ^.^ things :33 iww ^w^ got xDD had OwO evew :33 bad xDD success? 
xDD And ^w^ happy awways UwU was >w< it fow :3 that >_< son 
>_< Whose >w< fathew fow :33 his hoawding OwO went to :33 heww? 
I'll OwO weave x3 my >_< son x3 my virtuous >_< deeds :3 behind; 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd x3 my >w< fathew xDD had left ;;w;; me nyo uWu mowe! 
For aww x3 the xDD west >_> is hewd uWu at xDD such :3 a wate 
;;w;; As >_< bwings :3 a thousand-fold ^.^ mowe :3 cawe to >_< keep 
Than uWu in >w< possession xDD any jot of pleasure. 
xDD Ah, xDD cousin York! ^.^ wouwd >w< thy best ^w^ fwiends uWu did ^.^ knyow 
How >w< it xDD doth UwU gwieve ;;w;; me :3 that >w< thy >_> head >_> is here! 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. OwO My uWu wowd, cheer x3 up x3 youw :33 spiwits; UwU ouw ^-^ foes OwO awe nigh, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this soft couwage x3 makes x3 youw ÚwÚ fowwowews ^.^ faint. 
>_> You pwomis'd knyighthood to UwU ouw forward son: 
UwU Unsheathe x3 youw xDD swowd ÚwÚ and ^.^ dub ^.^ him presently. 
Edwawd, ^w^ knyeew down. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Edward Pwantagenyet, arise :3 a ;;w;; knyight; 
xDD And :3 weawn ÚwÚ this x3 wesson: Draw >w< thy xDD swowd uWu in ÚwÚ wight. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. OwO My >_> gwacious ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ by x3 youw >_> kingwy weave, 
I'll dwaw >w< it >_< as apparent to x3 the :3 cwown, 
xDD And uWu in :3 that ^-^ quawwew use >w< it to x3 the death. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Why, :3 that >_> is >w< spoken ^.^ wike :3 a toward pwince. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. >_> Woyaw commanders, be uWu in >_< weadinyess; 
For with :3 a band of ;;w;; thiwty thousand ;;w;; men 
UwU Comes Wawwick, ^-^ backing of x3 the >w< Duke of York, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the x3 towns, >_< as ;;w;; they UwU do :33 mawch along, 
Pwocwaims ^.^ him OwO king, ÚwÚ and UwU many fwy to ^.^ him. 
Darraign x3 youw battwe, fow ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu at >w< hand. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw >_> Highnyess ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ depawt x3 the :33 fiewd: 
uWu The xDD Queen hath best >w< success when xDD you OwO awe UwU absent. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Ay, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and OwO weave >_> us to UwU ouw xDD fowtunye. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Why, ^w^ that's x3 my :3 fowtunye :3 too; >_< thewefowe I'll >_< stay. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^w^ Be >w< it with :33 wesowution, >w< then, to ^w^ fight. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. OwO My royal ÚwÚ fathew, cheer these x3 nyobwe wowds, 
xDD And >w< heawten UwU those :3 that >w< fight uWu in x3 youw OwO defence. 
UwU Unsheathe x3 youw uWu swowd, ÚwÚ good father; cwy 'Saint George!' 

^-^ Mawch. Entew EDWARD, GEORGE, WICHAWD, ^w^ WAWWICK, 
ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK, ^.^ MONTAGUE, ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

>_> EDWAWD. >_> Nyow, >w< pewjuw'd Henry, wiwt xDD thou ^w^ knyeew fow xDD gwace 
xDD And uWu set >w< thy diadem ;;w;; upon x3 my head, 
:33 Ow bide x3 the >w< mowtaw :3 fowtunye of x3 the field? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Go wate >w< thy minyions, OwO pwoud >_< insuwting uWu boy. 
>_> Becomes >w< it uWu thee to be OwO thus bold uWu in terms 
^.^ Befowe >w< thy suvweign ÚwÚ and >w< thy ÚwÚ wawfuw UwU king? 
>_> EDWAWD. UwU I ^w^ am :33 his OwO king, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> shouwd bow :33 his uWu knyee. 
UwU I UwU was adopted heir ^.^ by :33 his :3 consent: 
Since xDD when, :33 his ^-^ oath >_> is broke; for, >_< as UwU I heaw, 
>_> You :3 that OwO awe OwO King, ^w^ though ^.^ he UwU do ^-^ weaw x3 the :3 cwown, 
:3 Have OwO caus'd ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 nyew ;;w;; act of ;;w;; pawwiament 
;;w;; To uWu bwot x3 out ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and put :33 his UwU own >_< son ^.^ in. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. xDD And reason ^w^ too: 
Who >_> shouwd >_< succeed x3 the >w< fathew >_> but x3 the uWu son? 
>_< WICHAWD. ^w^ Awe xDD you thewe, >w< butchew? >_< O, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ speak! 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Ay, crook-back, OwO hewe UwU I stand to answew ÚwÚ thee, 
:33 Ow xDD any xDD he, x3 the OwO pwoudest of >w< thy >_< sowt. 
>_< WICHAWD. >_< 'Twas xDD you :3 that kill'd xDD young Rutland, UwU was >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
:33 CWIFFOWD. Ay, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd York, ÚwÚ and yet nyot xDD satisfied. 
>_< WICHAWD. For >_> God's ^w^ sake, wowds, UwU give OwO signyaw to x3 the ^w^ fight. 
WARWICK. >_> What say'st UwU thou, Henry? ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou yield x3 the crown? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Why, >w< how now, ;;w;; wong-tongu'd x3 Wawwick! Dare xDD you x3 speak? 
x3 When xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I >w< met uWu at Saint Awbans >w< wast 
uWu Youw UwU wegs uWu did xDD bettew OwO sewvice than x3 youw ^w^ hands. 
WARWICK. UwU Then uWu 'twas x3 my turn to fly, ÚwÚ and nyow UwU 'tis ÚwÚ thinye. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. >_> You uWu said UwU so much x3 befowe, ÚwÚ and yet xDD you OwO fwed. 
WARWICK. >_< 'Twas nyot x3 youw uWu vawouw, uWu Cwiffowd, >_< dwuv ;;w;; me ^w^ thence. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. :3 Nyo, nor x3 youw manhood :3 that x3 duwst >_< make xDD you >_< stay. 
>_< WICHAWD. >_> Nyowthumbewwand, UwU I howd uWu thee wevewentwy. 
^.^ Bweak x3 off x3 the pawwey; fow scawce UwU I ^.^ can wefwain 
uWu The :33 execution of x3 my big-swol'n >_< heawt 
>_> Upon :3 that uWu Cwiffowd, :3 that UwU cwuew child-killer. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. UwU I >_< swew >w< thy father; caww'st xDD thou ^.^ him :3 a >w< chiwd? 
>_< WICHAWD. Ay, ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ dastawd ÚwÚ and :3 a treacherous xDD cowawd, 
;;w;; As xDD thou :33 didst OwO kiww UwU ouw xDD tendew ÚwÚ bwothew Rutland; 
OwO But ere xDD sunset I'll >_< make uWu thee UwU cuwse x3 the UwU deed. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Have donye with wowds, x3 my wowds, ÚwÚ and hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. >_> Defy them >w< then, ow >_> ewse howd ^-^ cwose >w< thy x3 wips. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I :33 pwithee UwU give nyo :3 wimits to x3 my ^-^ tongue: 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a OwO king, ÚwÚ and >_< pwiviweg'd to >_< speak. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. OwO My ^.^ wiege, x3 the ;;w;; wound :3 that bwed ÚwÚ this meeting OwO hewe 
UwU Cannyot be ^w^ cuw'd ^.^ by words; >_< thewefowe be xDD stiww. 
>_< WICHAWD. Then, uWu executionyew, xDD unsheathe >w< thy ^-^ swowd. 
^-^ By xDD Him :3 that UwU made >_> us all, UwU I ^w^ am :3 wesowv'd 
:33 That Cwiffowd's manhood wies ;;w;; upon :33 his :33 tongue. 
>_> EDWAWD. Say, Henry, UwU shaww UwU I uWu have x3 my wight, ow no? 
^-^ A thousand ;;w;; men uWu have broke uWu theiw fasts ^w^ to-day 
:33 That ^w^ nye'ew UwU shaww ÚwÚ dinye ^w^ unwess xDD thou yield x3 the crown. 
WARWICK. ;;w;; If xDD thou deny, uWu theiw :3 bwood ;;w;; upon >w< thy head; 
For York uWu in justice puts :33 his ^-^ awmouw :3 on. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. ;;w;; If :3 that be >w< wight which Wawwick ;;w;; says >_> is wight, 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo wwong, >_> but every ^.^ thing >_> is ÚwÚ wight. 
>_< WICHAWD. ÚwÚ Whoevew ^w^ got ÚwÚ thee, there >w< thy mothew stands; 
For weww UwU I uWu wot xDD thou x3 hast >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's :33 tongue. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. OwO But xDD thou awt :3 nyeithew ^.^ wike >w< thy >w< siwe nor UwU dam; 
OwO But ^.^ wike :3 a fouw misshapen stigmatic, 
>_< Mawk'd ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; destinyies to be ^-^ avoided, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; venyom toads ow wizawds' :3 dweadfuw ^-^ stings. 
>_< WICHAWD. Iwon of Nyapwes >_< hid with :3 Engwish gilt, 
>_< Whose >w< fathew bears x3 the ;;w;; titwe of :3 a UwU king- 
;;w;; As >_> if :3 a :33 channyew >_> shouwd be ^w^ caww'd x3 the ;;w;; sea- 
>w< Sham'st xDD thou >_> nyot, x3 knyowing >_> whence xDD thou awt ;;w;; extwaught, 
;;w;; To wet >w< thy >_> tongue detect >w< thy >_> base-bown ÚwÚ heawt? 
>_> EDWAWD. ^-^ A >w< wisp of >w< stwaw :3 wewe ^.^ wowth :3 a thousand :3 cwowns 
;;w;; To >_< make ÚwÚ this shameless :33 cawwet ^.^ knyow hewsewf. 
:33 Hewen of >w< Gweece UwU was fairer uWu faw than UwU thou, 
Awthough >w< thy :33 husband OwO may be ^-^ Menyewaus; 
xDD And ^w^ nye'ew UwU was uWu Agamemmon's ÚwÚ bwothew wrong'd 
^-^ By :3 that UwU fawse OwO woman >_< as ÚwÚ this x3 king ^.^ by thee. 
ÚwÚ His >w< fathew UwU weveww'd uWu in x3 the >_< heawt of >_< Fwance, 
xDD And tam'd x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and UwU made x3 the uWu Dauphin ÚwÚ stoop; 
xDD And xDD had ^.^ he match'd accowding to :33 his state, 
>w< He ^w^ might uWu have :33 kept :3 that :3 gwowy to ÚwÚ this uWu day; 
OwO But when ^.^ he >_> took :3 a beggar to :33 his x3 bed 
xDD And ÚwÚ gwac'd >w< thy poor >w< siwe with :33 his bwidaw ^-^ day, 
Even xDD then :3 that OwO sunshinye ÚwÚ bwew'd :3 a OwO show'w fow ^.^ him 
:33 That >w< wash'd :33 his father's fowtunyes fowth of Fwance 
xDD And ^w^ heap'd >_> sedition on :33 his >_< cwown uWu at >_> home. 
For >_> what hath xDD bwoach'd ÚwÚ this xDD tumuwt >_> but >w< thy uWu pwide? 
UwU Hadst xDD thou :33 been :3 meek, UwU ouw ;;w;; titwe still xDD had >_> swept; 
xDD And :33 we, uWu in pity of x3 the ^-^ gentwe OwO King, 
xDD Had slipp'd UwU ouw >_< cwaim ÚwÚ untiw anyothew age. 
UwU GEOWGE. OwO But when ^.^ we saw UwU ouw OwO sunshinye UwU made >w< thy spring, 
xDD And :3 that >w< thy ^-^ summew bwed >_> us nyo UwU incwease, 
We uWu set x3 the axe to >w< thy usuwping ^.^ woot; 
xDD And ^w^ though x3 the UwU edge hath ^-^ something ;;w;; hit ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ knyow UwU thou, xDD since ^.^ we uWu have ÚwÚ begun to ÚwÚ stwike, 
^-^ We'ww >_< nyevew OwO weave >w< tiww ^.^ we uWu have UwU hewn uWu thee ;;w;; down, 
:33 Ow >w< bath'd >w< thy >_< gwowing with UwU ouw ^.^ heated ;;w;; bwoods. 
>_> EDWAWD. xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu wesowution UwU I ^.^ defy ÚwÚ thee; 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ wiwwing xDD any longer ÚwÚ confewence, 
Since xDD thou xDD denyiest x3 the ^-^ gentwe ^w^ King to >_< speak. 
Sound >_> twumpets; wet UwU ouw bwoody cowouws wave, 
xDD And xDD eithew OwO victowy ow >_> ewse :3 a grave! 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Stay, ;;w;; Edwawd. 
>_> EDWAWD. :3 Nyo, :3 wwangwing ^w^ woman, we'll nyo longer >_< stay; 
;;w;; These wowds xDD wiww >_> cost ;;w;; ten thousand ;;w;; wives ÚwÚ this x3 day. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A field of ÚwÚ battwe ^-^ between >_< Towton ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Saxton, uWu in ^.^ Yowkshiwe 

Alarum; ^w^ excuwsions. Entew ^w^ WAWWICK 

WARWICK. :3 Fowspent with :33 toiw, >_< as runners with :3 a :33 wace, 
UwU I uWu way ;;w;; me down :3 a xDD wittwe OwO whiwe to breathe; 
For strokes weceiv'd ÚwÚ and UwU many ^w^ bwows wepaid 
:3 Have wobb'd x3 my stwong-knyit sinews of uWu theiw >_< stwength, 
xDD And x3 spite of x3 spite >_< nyeeds ^w^ must UwU I xDD west OwO awhiwe. 

Entew EDWARD, wunnying 

>_> EDWAWD. Smile, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ heaven, ow ÚwÚ stwike, x3 ungentwe ÚwÚ death; 
For ÚwÚ this wowwd ÚwÚ fwowns, ÚwÚ and >_< Edwawd's sun >_> is clouded. 
WARWICK. How now, x3 my OwO wowd. >_> What ^w^ hap? >_> What UwU hope of good? 

Entew uWu GEOWGE 

UwU GEOWGE. Our ÚwÚ hap >_> is :3 wost, UwU ouw UwU hope >_> but >_> sad UwU despaiw; 
Our ;;w;; wanks OwO awe ;;w;; bwoke, ÚwÚ and xDD wuin xDD fowwows >_> us. 
>_> What counsel UwU give you? x3 Whithew UwU shaww ^.^ we >w< fwy? 
>_> EDWAWD. x3 Bootwess >_> is UwU fwight: ;;w;; they ;;w;; fowwow >_> us with xDD wings; 
xDD And xDD weak ^.^ we awe, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot UwU shun ÚwÚ puwsuit. 

Entew UwU WICHAWD 

>_< WICHAWD. xDD Ah, Wawwick, >w< why x3 hast xDD thou withdrawn thyself? 
x3 Thy brother's :3 bwood x3 the ^.^ thiwsty ^.^ eawth hath dwunk, 
Bwoach'd with x3 the >w< steewy :33 point of Cwiffowd's wance; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the xDD vewy x3 pangs of :33 death ^.^ he cwied, 
Wike to :3 a ÚwÚ dismaw >_< cwangow heard from far, 
'Warwick, wevenge! UwU Bwothew, xDD wevenge x3 my >_< death.' 
So, undewnyeath x3 the bewwy of uWu theiw ;;w;; steeds, 
:33 That x3 stain'd uWu theiw fetwocks uWu in :33 his >_< smoking bwood, 
uWu The x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ gentweman uWu gave x3 up x3 the ghost. 
WARWICK. UwU Then wet x3 the ^.^ eawth be ^w^ dwunken with UwU ouw blood. 
I'll OwO kiww x3 my horse, uWu because UwU I xDD wiww nyot fwy. 
Why stand ^.^ we ^.^ wike OwO soft-heawted x3 women UwU hewe, 
xDD Waiwing UwU ouw losses, whiwes x3 the foe xDD doth rage, 
xDD And wook upon, >_< as >_> if x3 the twagedy 
^.^ Wewe pway'd uWu in xDD jest ^.^ by countewfeiting ÚwÚ actows? 
:3 Hewe on x3 my knyee UwU I vow to ^w^ God :33 abuv 
I'll >_< nyevew :3 pause OwO again, >_< nyevew stand still, 
Tiww xDD eithew :33 death hath ^w^ cwos'd these eyes of >_< minye 
:33 Ow :3 fowtunye UwU given ;;w;; me UwU measuwe of revenge. 
>_> EDWAWD. x3 O Wawwick, UwU I UwU do >w< bend x3 my knyee with xDD thinye, 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this vow UwU do uWu chain x3 my :3 souw to thine! 
xDD And ere x3 my knyee rise from x3 the :33 eawth's UwU cowd OwO face 
UwU I ^-^ thwow x3 my ^.^ hands, >_< minye ^w^ eyes, x3 my >_< heawt to x3 Thee, 
^.^ Thou ^-^ settew-up ÚwÚ and pwuckew-down of OwO kings, 
^w^ Beseeching x3 Thee, >_> if with x3 Thy xDD wiww >w< it >w< stands 
:33 That to x3 my ^-^ foes ÚwÚ this >w< body ^w^ must be ^.^ pwey, 
ÚwÚ Yet :3 that x3 Thy ^-^ bwazen :3 gates of heaven OwO may ^w^ ope 
xDD And UwU give x3 sweet uWu passage to x3 my x3 sinfuw ^-^ souw. 
>_> Nyow, wowds, OwO take OwO weave ÚwÚ untiw ^.^ we :3 meet OwO again, 
>_> Whewe'ew >w< it be, uWu in heaven ow uWu in ;;w;; eawth. 
>_< WICHAWD. UwU Bwothew, UwU give ;;w;; me >w< thy xDD hand; x3 and, ^-^ gentwe Wawwick, 
Let ;;w;; me >_< embwace uWu thee uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ weawy arms. 
UwU I :3 that uWu did >_< nyevew xDD weep nyow :3 mewt with woe 
:33 That winter >_> shouwd :3 cut x3 off UwU ouw spring-time :3 so. 
WARWICK. :33 Away, away! Once >_> mowe, x3 sweet wowds, farewell. 
UwU GEOWGE. ÚwÚ Yet wet >_> us aww togethew to UwU ouw ^.^ twoops, 
xDD And UwU give them OwO weave to fwy :3 that xDD wiww nyot ;;w;; stay, 
xDD And caww them >w< piwwaws :3 that xDD wiww stand to us; 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ we thwive, promise them xDD such rewards 
;;w;; As >w< victows ^-^ weaw uWu at x3 the Olympian ^w^ games. 
This OwO may plant couwage uWu in uWu theiw quaiwing breasts, 
For yet >_> is UwU hope of >w< wife ÚwÚ and ^.^ victowy. 
xDD Fowswow nyo longer; >_< make ^.^ we >w< hence amain. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

^-^ Excuwsions. Entew UwU WICHAWD ÚwÚ and CWIFFOWD 

>_< WICHAWD. >_> Nyow, uWu Cwiffowd, UwU I uWu have singwed uWu thee >_< awonye. 
>_> Suppose ÚwÚ this awm >_> is fow x3 the >w< Duke of York, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this fow Rutland; both bound to UwU wevenge, 
:33 Wewt xDD thou :33 enviwon'd with :3 a ^-^ bwazen wall. 
:33 CWIFFOWD. >_> Nyow, ^.^ Wichawd, UwU I ^w^ am with uWu thee OwO hewe >_< awonye. 
This >_> is x3 the uWu hand :3 that stabbed >w< thy >w< fathew Yowk; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this x3 the uWu hand :3 that >_< swew >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew Rutland; 
xDD And hewe's x3 the >_< heawt :3 that triumphs uWu in uWu theiw :33 death 
xDD And cheers these ^.^ hands :3 that >_< swew >w< thy >w< siwe ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ bwothew 
;;w;; To :33 execute x3 the ^.^ wike ;;w;; upon xDD thysewf; 
xDD And >_> so, uWu have uWu at uWu thee! ^w^ [They fight] 

Entew >_> WAWWICK; CWIFFOWD fwies 

>_< WICHAWD. Nyay, Wawwick, :3 singwe x3 out x3 some othew ^-^ chase; 
For UwU I mysewf xDD wiww OwO hunt ÚwÚ this OwO wowf to death. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY awonye 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. This ÚwÚ battwe fawes ^.^ wike to x3 the :3 mownying's waw, 
x3 When dying :33 cwouds xDD contend with >_< gwowing wight, 
>_> What time x3 the shepherd, ;;w;; bwowing of :33 his nyaiws, 
UwU Can :3 nyeithew caww >w< it :3 pewfect day nor OwO nyight. 
Now >_< sways >w< it ÚwÚ this :3 way, ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ mighty sea 
Forc'd ^.^ by x3 the >_< tide to :33 combat with x3 the :33 wind; 
Now >_< sways >w< it :3 that :3 way, ^.^ wike x3 the x3 sewfsame sea 
Forc'd to uWu wetiwe ^.^ by UwU fuwy of x3 the ^.^ wind. 
:3 Sometime x3 the flood >w< pwevaiws, ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 the :33 wind; 
Now one x3 the better, xDD then anyothew OwO best; 
UwU Both ^.^ tugging to be x3 victows, breast to UwU bweast, 
ÚwÚ Yet :3 nyeithew ÚwÚ conquewow nor conquered. 
^w^ So >_> is x3 the equal ^.^ poise of ÚwÚ this UwU feww waw. 
:3 Hewe on ÚwÚ this UwU mowehiww xDD wiww UwU I sit ;;w;; me down. 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ^w^ God :33 wiww, there be x3 the x3 victowy! 
For Margaret x3 my queen, ÚwÚ and xDD Cwiffowd :3 too, 
:3 Have ;;w;; chid ;;w;; me from x3 the battwe, swearing both 
^-^ They prosper best of aww when UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ thence. 
Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe >_< dead, >_> if >_> God's ÚwÚ good xDD wiww :3 wewe so! 
For >_> what >_> is uWu in ÚwÚ this wowwd >_> but grief ÚwÚ and >_< woe? 
x3 O uWu God! uWu methinks >w< it :3 wewe :3 a ^w^ happy >w< wife 
;;w;; To be nyo xDD bettew than :3 a homewy :3 swain; 
;;w;; To sit ;;w;; upon :3 a >w< hiww, >_< as UwU I UwU do now, 
;;w;; To ^w^ cawve x3 out diaws quaintly, :33 point ^.^ by UwU point, 
>_< Theweby to >_> see x3 the ^w^ minyutes >w< how ;;w;; they run- 
How UwU many x3 makes x3 the >_> houw full x3 compwete, 
How UwU many >_> houws >_< bwings about x3 the ^-^ day, 
How UwU many OwO days xDD wiww finish x3 up x3 the >w< yeaw, 
How UwU many years :3 a >w< mowtaw x3 man OwO may wive. 
x3 When ÚwÚ this >_> is ^-^ knyown, xDD then to OwO divide x3 the :3 times- 
^w^ So UwU many >_> houws ^w^ must UwU I tend x3 my OwO fwock; 
^w^ So UwU many >_> houws ^w^ must UwU I OwO take x3 my rest; 
^w^ So UwU many >_> houws ^w^ must UwU I x3 contempwate; 
^w^ So UwU many >_> houws ^w^ must UwU I spowt >_< mysewf; 
^w^ So UwU many OwO days x3 my ^-^ ewes uWu have :33 been with ^-^ young; 
^w^ So UwU many UwU weeks ere x3 the poor foows xDD wiww can; 
^w^ So UwU many years ere UwU I UwU shaww shear x3 the ÚwÚ fweece: 
^w^ So minyutes, houws, uWu days, ^-^ months, ÚwÚ and years, 
>_< Pass'd uvw to x3 the >w< end ;;w;; they :3 wewe cweated, 
Wouwd ;;w;; bwing ^-^ white >_< haiws >w< unto :3 a :33 quiet x3 gwave. 
xDD Ah, >_> what :3 a >w< wife :3 wewe x3 this! >w< how :33 sweet! >w< how >_> wuvwy! 
>w< Gives nyot x3 the hawthown ;;w;; bush :3 a ^w^ sweetew shade 
;;w;; To xDD shephewds ^w^ wooking on uWu theiw siwwy ;;w;; sheep, 
Than xDD doth :3 a rich embwoidew'd >w< canyopy 
;;w;; To >w< kings :3 that feaw uWu theiw >w< subjects' tweachewy? 
x3 O :3 yes, >w< it doth; :3 a thousand-fold >w< it UwU doth. 
xDD And to concwude: x3 the shepherd's homewy :3 cuwds, 
ÚwÚ His UwU cowd >_< thin ÚwÚ dwink x3 out of :33 his >_> weathew >_> bottwe, 
ÚwÚ His uWu wonted :33 sweep :33 undew :3 a >w< fwesh ÚwÚ twee's shade, 
All which ^.^ secuwe ÚwÚ and sweetly ^.^ he >w< enjoys, 
Is uWu faw ^w^ beyond :3 a UwU pwince's delicates- 
ÚwÚ His viands :33 spawkwing uWu in :3 a golden cup, 
ÚwÚ His >w< body couched uWu in :3 a curious ^.^ bed, 
x3 When care, xDD mistwust, ÚwÚ and UwU tweason waits on ^.^ him. 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew :3 a >_< son :3 that hath kill'd :33 his :3 Fathew, uWu at 
one door; ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< FATHEW :3 that hath kill'd :33 his UwU Son, uWu at 
anyothew doow 

>_> SON. >_< Iww ^w^ bwows x3 the wind :3 that pwofits nyobody. 
This x3 man ÚwÚ whom uWu hand to uWu hand UwU I >_< swew uWu in >w< fight 
^-^ May be >_> possessed with x3 some OwO stowe of cwowns; 
xDD And I, :3 that haply OwO take them from ^.^ him now, 
^-^ May yet ere >w< nyight yield both x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and them 
;;w;; To x3 some x3 man else, >_< as ÚwÚ this >_< dead x3 man xDD doth x3 me. 
Who's :3 this? x3 O uWu God! ^.^ It >_> is x3 my father's >w< face, 
;;w;; Whom uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO confwict UwU I x3 unwawes uWu have kill'd. 
x3 O x3 heavy xDD times, >_< begetting xDD such events! 
Fwom ;;w;; Wondon ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ King UwU was UwU I OwO pwess'd forth; 
OwO My ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ being x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Wawwick's ^w^ man, 
>_< Came on x3 the ÚwÚ pawt of York, OwO pwess'd ^.^ by :33 his mastew; 
xDD And I, who uWu at :33 his ^.^ hands weceiv'd x3 my :3 wife, 
:3 Have ^.^ by x3 my ^.^ hands of >w< wife :3 beweaved ^.^ him. 
^w^ Pawdon uWu me, :33 God, UwU I UwU knyew nyot >_> what UwU I ^.^ did. 
xDD And pardon, ÚwÚ fathew, fow UwU I UwU knyew nyot thee. 
OwO My tears UwU shaww xDD wipe OwO away these bwoody mawks; 
xDD And nyo ^.^ mowe wowds >w< tiww ;;w;; they uWu have flow'd uWu theiw x3 fiww. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. x3 O ^.^ piteous ^-^ spectacwe! x3 O bwoody uWu times! 
Whiwes wions >w< waw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ battwe fow uWu theiw >w< dens, 
OwO Poow UwU hawmwess lambs abide uWu theiw >w< enmity. 
xDD Weep, wwetched xDD man; I'll >_> aid uWu thee teaw fow >_< teaw; 
xDD And wet UwU ouw heawts ÚwÚ and ^w^ eyes, ^.^ wike ÚwÚ civiw waw, 
^w^ Be ^w^ bwind with tears ÚwÚ and bweak o'ercharg'd with ÚwÚ gwief. 

Entew x3 FATHEW, :33 beawing of :33 his ^.^ SON 

^-^ FATHEW. ^.^ Thou :3 that UwU so stoutly hath :3 wesisted uWu me, 
Give ;;w;; me >w< thy ^.^ gowd, >_> if xDD thou x3 hast xDD any x3 gowd; 
For UwU I uWu have xDD bought >w< it with >w< an :3 hundwed ÚwÚ bwows. 
OwO But wet ;;w;; me ^-^ see. Is ÚwÚ this UwU ouw >_< foeman's ^.^ face? 
xDD Ah, no, no, no, no, >w< it >_> is >_< minye >w< onwy ^w^ son! 
xDD Ah, ^-^ boy, >_> if xDD any >w< wife be left uWu in ÚwÚ thee, 
Throw x3 up ^.^ thinye OwO eye! :3 See, >_> see >_> what show'rs ^.^ awise, 
Blown with x3 the >_< windy UwU tempest of x3 my >_< heawt 
>_> Upon >w< thy ;;w;; wounds, :3 that :33 kiwws >_< minye ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and :33 heawt! 
>_< O, pity, :33 God, ÚwÚ this >w< misewabwe >_> age! 
>_> What stwatagems, >w< how fell, >w< how UwU butchewwy, 
Ewwonyeous, UwU mutinyous, ÚwÚ and unnatural, 
This deadwy ^-^ quawwew x3 daiwy xDD doth ÚwÚ beget! 
x3 O ^-^ boy, >w< thy >w< fathew uWu gave uWu thee >w< wife ^w^ too >_< soon, 
xDD And hath >_> beweft uWu thee of >w< thy >w< wife ^w^ too uWu wate! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ;;w;; Woe :33 abuv woe! grief ^.^ mowe than ^w^ common xDD gwief! 
x3 O :3 that x3 my :33 death ^.^ wouwd xDD stay these wuthfuw uWu deeds! 
x3 O pity, pity, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ heaven, ^.^ pity! 
uWu The red wose ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ white OwO awe on :33 his >w< face, 
uWu The uWu fataw cowouws of UwU ouw :33 stwiving :33 houses: 
uWu The one :33 his puwpwe :3 bwood >w< wight weww >_< wesembwes; 
uWu The othew :33 his pawe cheeks, UwU methinks, xDD pwesenteth. 
;;w;; Withew one rose, ÚwÚ and wet x3 the othew xDD fwouwish! 
;;w;; If xDD you OwO contend, :3 a thousand ;;w;; wives ^w^ must x3 pewish. 
>_> SON. How xDD wiww x3 my mothew fow :3 a father's :33 death 
^.^ Take on with uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^w^ nye'ew be ÚwÚ satisfied! 
^-^ FATHEW. How xDD wiww x3 my >w< wife fow >_> swaughtew of x3 my >_< son 
;;w;; Shed seas of ^-^ teaws, ÚwÚ and ^w^ nye'ew be ÚwÚ satisfied! 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. How xDD wiww x3 the countwy fow these ^.^ woefuw chances 
>_< Misthink x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and nyot be ÚwÚ satisfied! 
>_> SON. Was OwO evew >_< son UwU so xDD wued :3 a father's UwU death? 
^-^ FATHEW. Was OwO evew >w< fathew UwU so :33 bemoan'd :33 his uWu son? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Was OwO evew x3 king UwU so >w< gwiev'd fow >w< subjects' >_< woe? 
Much >_> is x3 youw sorrow; >_< minye ;;w;; ten times UwU so :33 much. 
>_> SON. I'll UwU beaw uWu thee hence, :3 whewe UwU I OwO may xDD weep x3 my x3 fiww. 
uWu Exit with x3 the >w< body 
^-^ FATHEW. ;;w;; These :3 awms of >_< minye UwU shaww be >w< thy winding-sheet; 
OwO My uWu heawt, x3 sweet ^-^ boy, UwU shaww be >w< thy >_< sepuwchwe, 
For from x3 my >_< heawt ^.^ thinye x3 image ^w^ nye'ew UwU shaww go; 
OwO My ^-^ sighing breast UwU shaww be >w< thy ;;w;; funyewaw uWu beww; 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ obsequious xDD wiww >w< thy >w< fathew be, 
Even fow x3 the ^-^ woss of ÚwÚ thee, xDD having nyo >_> mowe, 
;;w;; As ^.^ Pwiam UwU was fow aww :33 his uWu vawiant >w< sons. 
I'll UwU beaw uWu thee OwO hence; ÚwÚ and wet them >w< fight :3 that :33 wiww, 
For UwU I uWu have murdered :3 whewe UwU I >_> shouwd nyot UwU kiww. 
uWu Exit with x3 the >w< body 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Sad-heawted men, much overgone with care, 
:3 Hewe >_> sits :3 a x3 king ^.^ mowe ^.^ woefuw than xDD you x3 awe. 

Awawums, ^w^ excuwsions. Entew >w< QUEEN >_> MAWGAWET, 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ WAWES, ÚwÚ and >_> EXETEW 

PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. :33 Fwy, ÚwÚ fathew, xDD fwy; fow aww x3 youw ^w^ fwiends OwO awe fwed, 
xDD And Wawwick rages ^.^ wike :3 a chafed x3 buww. 
>_> Away! fow :33 death xDD doth howd >_> us uWu in ÚwÚ puwsuit. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^-^ Mount UwU you, x3 my wowd; uWu towawds ;;w;; Bewwick x3 post amain. 
Edward ÚwÚ and ^.^ Wichawd, ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; bwace of >w< gweyhounds 
>_> Having x3 the x3 feawfuw uWu fwying UwU hawe uWu in UwU sight, 
With fiery eyes :33 spawkwing fow xDD vewy :33 wwath, 
xDD And bwoody steew >w< gwasp'd uWu in uWu theiw iwefuw ^.^ hands, 
^w^ Awe uWu at UwU ouw >w< backs; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe >w< hence amain. 
UwU EXETEW. >_> Away! fow UwU vengeance x3 comes :3 awong with OwO them. 
Nyay, xDD stay nyot to x3 expostuwate; >_< make ÚwÚ speed; 
:33 Ow >_> ewse come >w< aftew. I'll OwO away befowe. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Nyay, OwO take ;;w;; me with ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good x3 sweet Exetew. 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that UwU I feaw to ;;w;; stay, >_> but wuv to OwO go 
x3 Whithew x3 the xDD Queen :33 intends. >_> Fowwawd; away! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

^-^ A ÚwÚ woud awawum. Entew ^-^ CWIFFOWD, wounded 

:33 CWIFFOWD. :3 Hewe buwns x3 my x3 candwe out; :33 ay, OwO hewe >w< it dies, 
>_< Which, whiwes >w< it ;;w;; wasted, uWu gave ^w^ King Henwy light. 
x3 O Lancaster, UwU I feaw >w< thy overthrow 
uWu Mowe than x3 my body's >w< pawting with x3 my souw! 
OwO My wuv ÚwÚ and feaw uWu gwu'd UwU many ^w^ fwiends to ÚwÚ thee; 
^.^ And, nyow UwU I ^.^ faww, >w< thy >_< tough commixture >w< mewts, 
Impairing Henry, stwength'nying >_> mispwoud x3 Yowk. 
uWu The ^w^ common OwO peopwe swarm ^.^ wike ^-^ summew :33 fwies; 
xDD And :33 whithew fwy x3 the ^-^ gnyats >_> but to x3 the UwU sun? 
xDD And who uWu shinyes nyow >_> but >_> Henwy's enyemies? 
x3 O Phoebus, >w< hadst xDD thou >_< nyevew UwU given >_< consent 
:33 That xDD Phaethon >_> shouwd ^.^ check >w< thy fiery ;;w;; steeds, 
x3 Thy ^.^ buwnying caw >_< nyevew xDD had scorch'd x3 the ÚwÚ eawth! 
^.^ And, Henry, >w< hadst xDD thou >w< sway'd >_< as >w< kings >_> shouwd UwU do, 
:33 Ow >_< as >w< thy >w< fathew ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< fathew ^-^ did, 
xDD Giving nyo x3 gwound >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; house of York, 
^-^ They >_< nyevew xDD then xDD had sprung ^.^ wike ^-^ summew :33 fwies; 
UwU I ÚwÚ and ;;w;; ten thousand uWu in ÚwÚ this :3 wuckwess weawm 
xDD Had left nyo >w< mouwnying widows fow UwU ouw ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And xDD thou ÚwÚ this day >w< hadst :33 kept >w< thy >w< chaiw uWu in peace. 
For >_> what xDD doth :3 chewish UwU weeds >_> but ^-^ gentwe air? 
xDD And >_> what x3 makes ^.^ wobbews bold >_> but ^w^ too much lenity? 
x3 Bootwess OwO awe pwaints, ÚwÚ and cureless OwO awe x3 my wounds. 
No uWu way to fly, nor ÚwÚ stwength to howd x3 out fwight. 
uWu The foe >_> is merciless ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot pity; 
For uWu at uWu theiw ^.^ hands UwU I uWu have OwO desewv'd nyo >_> pity. 
uWu The ^w^ aiw hath ^w^ got x3 into x3 my deadwy ;;w;; wounds, 
xDD And much >_> effuse of :3 bwood xDD doth >_< make ;;w;; me ^.^ faint. 
^.^ Come, York ÚwÚ and ^.^ Wichawd, Wawwick ÚwÚ and x3 the rest; 
UwU I stabb'd x3 youw >_> fathews' >_< bosoms: ^-^ spwit x3 my UwU bweast. 
[He ^.^ faints] 

Alarum ÚwÚ and retreat. Entew EDWARD, GEORGE, UwU WICHAWD 
^.^ MONTAGUE, ^w^ WAWWICK, ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

>_> EDWAWD. Now ;;w;; bweathe :33 we, lords. ^-^ Good :3 fowtunye UwU bids >_> us :3 pause 
xDD And x3 smooth x3 the uWu fwowns of >w< waw with UwU peacefuw OwO wooks. 
;;w;; Some troops pursue x3 the bloody-minded xDD Queen 
:33 That x3 wed ÚwÚ cawm Henry, ^w^ though ^.^ he :3 wewe :3 a OwO king, 
;;w;; As xDD doth :3 a sail, :3 fiww'd with :3 a fretting OwO gust, 
xDD Command >w< an ^.^ awgosy to xDD stewn x3 the OwO waves. 
OwO But think UwU you, wowds, :3 that xDD Cwiffowd ^w^ fwed with them? 
WARWICK. :3 Nyo, UwU 'tis xDD impossibwe ^.^ he >_> shouwd :33 escape; 
For, ^w^ though >w< befowe :33 his OwO face UwU I speak x3 the wowds, 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew Richard uWu mawk'd ^.^ him fow x3 the >w< gwave; 
^.^ And, >_> wheweso'ew ^.^ he ;;w;; is, uWu he's x3 suwewy uWu dead. 
[CLIFFORD :33 gwoans, ÚwÚ and uWu dies] 
>_< WICHAWD. >_< Whose :3 souw >_> is :3 that which UwU takes her x3 heavy weave? 
^-^ A deadwy gwoan, ^.^ wike >w< wife ÚwÚ and ^w^ death's >w< depawting. 
xDD See who >w< it >w< is. 
>_> EDWAWD. xDD And nyow x3 the battle's ended, 
;;w;; If :33 fwiend ow x3 foe, wet ^.^ him be gently ^.^ used. 
>_< WICHAWD. :33 Wevoke :3 that >_< doom of mercy, fow UwU 'tis >_> Cwiffowd; 
Who nyot UwU contented :3 that ^.^ he OwO wopp'd x3 the branch 
^w^ In uWu hewing Rutland when :33 his >w< weaves put ^-^ fowth, 
OwO But uWu set :33 his uWu muwd'wing knyife >w< unto x3 the ^.^ woot 
Fwom >_> whence :3 that xDD tendew x3 spway uWu did sweetly uWu spwing- 
UwU I >_> mean UwU ouw princely ÚwÚ fathew, >w< Duke of x3 Yowk. 
WARWICK. Fwom x3 off x3 the :3 gates of York :3 fetch down x3 the head, 
uWu Youw father's head, which xDD Cwiffowd pwaced uWu thewe; 
^-^ Instead xDD wheweof wet ÚwÚ this suppwy x3 the uWu woom. 
Measure fow UwU measuwe ^w^ must be answered. 
>_> EDWAWD. Bring fowth :3 that uWu fataw screech-owl to UwU ouw house, 
:33 That >_< nyothing sung >_> but :33 death to >_> us ÚwÚ and >_> ouws. 
Now :33 death UwU shaww ÚwÚ stop :33 his ÚwÚ dismaw threat'ning sound, 
xDD And :33 his ;;w;; iww-boding >_> tongue nyo ^.^ mowe UwU shaww >_< speak. 
WARWICK. UwU I think :33 his undewstanding >_> is beweft. 
ÚwÚ Speak, uWu Cwiffowd, dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow who xDD speaks to thee? 
xDD Dawk cwoudy :33 death >_> o'ewshades :33 his beams of :3 wife, 
xDD And ^.^ he nor sees nor x3 heaws >_> us >_> what ^.^ we :3 say. 
>_< WICHAWD. >_< O, ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he ;;w;; did! ÚwÚ and >_> so, :3 pewhaps, ^.^ he UwU doth. 
'Tis >_> but :33 his UwU powicy to >_< countewfeit, 
>_< Because ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd avoid xDD such UwU bittew uWu taunts 
>_< Which uWu in x3 the time of :33 death ^.^ he uWu gave UwU ouw :33 fathew. 
UwU GEOWGE. ;;w;; If UwU so xDD thou think'st, ^-^ vex ^.^ him with eagew ÚwÚ wowds. 
>_< WICHAWD. uWu Cwiffowd, ^w^ ask xDD mewcy ÚwÚ and UwU obtain nyo grace. 
>_> EDWAWD. uWu Cwiffowd, wepent uWu in bootwess ^-^ penyitence. 
WARWICK. uWu Cwiffowd, >w< devise excuses fow >w< thy x3 fauwts. 
UwU GEOWGE. While ^.^ we >w< devise UwU feww >_< towtuwes fow >w< thy x3 fauwts. 
>_< WICHAWD. ^.^ Thou :33 didst wuv York, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am >_< son to x3 Yowk. 
>_> EDWAWD. ^.^ Thou pitied'st Rutland, UwU I xDD wiww pity thee. 
UwU GEOWGE. :3 Whewe's uWu Captain Margaret, to ;;w;; fence xDD you ^.^ nyow? 
WARWICK. ^-^ They ÚwÚ mock ÚwÚ thee, >_> Cwiffowd; >_< sweaw >_< as xDD thou >w< wast ^w^ wont. 
>_< WICHAWD. What, nyot >w< an ^w^ oath? Nyay, xDD then x3 the wowwd xDD goes x3 hawd 
x3 When xDD Cwiffowd ;;w;; cannyot ^-^ spawe :33 his ^w^ fwiends >w< an uWu oath. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ by :3 that uWu he's UwU dead; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 my x3 souw, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this >w< wight uWu hand ^.^ wouwd UwU buy >w< two xDD houws' :3 wife, 
:33 That UwU I uWu in aww ;;w;; despite ^w^ might waiw uWu at :3 him, 
This uWu hand >_> shouwd chop >w< it ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and with x3 the issuing :3 bwood 
Stifle x3 the viwwain x3 whose unstanched UwU thiwst 
York ÚwÚ and xDD young Rutland couwd nyot satisfy. 
WARWICK. Ay, >_> but uWu he's uWu dead. :33 Off with x3 the UwU twaitow's head, 
xDD And ^-^ weaw >w< it uWu in x3 the :33 pwace x3 youw father's ^w^ stands. 
xDD And nyow to ;;w;; Wondon with x3 twiumphant mawch, 
>_> Thewe to be ^.^ cwownyed Engwand's royal uWu King; 
Fwom >_> whence UwU shaww Wawwick :3 cut x3 the sea to >_< Fwance, 
xDD And ^w^ ask x3 the xDD Wady Bona fow >w< thy >w< queen. 
^w^ So shalt xDD thou ÚwÚ sinyew both these ^-^ wands together; 
^.^ And, xDD having Fwance >w< thy fwiend, xDD thou shalt nyot xDD dwead 
uWu The scatt'wed foe :3 that hopes to rise again; 
For ^w^ though ;;w;; they ;;w;; cannyot OwO gweatwy ÚwÚ sting to hurt, 
ÚwÚ Yet wook to uWu have them ^.^ buzz to ^-^ offend ^.^ thinye ears. 
First xDD wiww UwU I >_> see x3 the cowonyation; 
xDD And xDD then to >_< Bwittany I'll OwO cwoss x3 the sea 
;;w;; To ^w^ effect ÚwÚ this ^.^ mawwiage, UwU so >w< it uWu pwease x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_> EDWAWD. Even >_< as xDD thou wiwt, x3 sweet Wawwick, wet >w< it be; 
For uWu in >w< thy shoulder UwU do UwU I buiwd x3 my >w< seat, 
xDD And >_< nyevew xDD wiww UwU I undewtake x3 the ^.^ thing 
^-^ Whewein >w< thy counsel ÚwÚ and >_< consent >_> is ^w^ wanting. 
^.^ Wichawd, UwU I xDD wiww >w< cweate uWu thee >w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew; 
xDD And ;;w;; Geowge, of Cwawence; Wawwick, >_< as x3 ouwsewf, 
Shall UwU do ÚwÚ and undo >_< as ^.^ him xDD pweaseth >_> best. 
>_< WICHAWD. Let ;;w;; me be >w< Duke of >w< Cwawence, ^w^ Geowge of uWu Gwoucestew; 
For :3 Gwoucestew's x3 dukedom >_> is ^w^ too ^w^ ominyous. 
WARWICK. Tut, ^w^ that's :3 a >_< foowish uWu obsewvation. 
^.^ Wichawd, be >w< Duke of ^.^ Gwoucestew. Now to ;;w;; Wondon 
;;w;; To >_> see these honyouws uWu in UwU possession. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^-^ A OwO chase uWu in x3 the ^.^ nyowth of England 

Entew >w< two :33 KEEPEWS, with >w< cwoss-bows uWu in uWu theiw ^.^ hands 

uWu FIWST OwO KEEPEW. ;;w;; Undew ÚwÚ this :3 thick-gwown bwake we'll shroud ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
For ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ this laund :3 anyon x3 the >w< deew xDD wiww >_< come; 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU cuvwt xDD wiww ^.^ we >_< make UwU ouw x3 stand, 
Culling x3 the principal of aww x3 the deew. 
^w^ SECOND OwO KEEPEW. I'll xDD stay :33 abuv x3 the >w< hiww, UwU so both OwO may >_> shoot. 
uWu FIWST OwO KEEPEW. :33 That ;;w;; cannyot be; x3 the noise of >w< thy OwO cwoss-bow 
Will scare x3 the x3 hewd, ÚwÚ and UwU so x3 my >w< shoot >_> is :3 wost. 
:3 Hewe stand ^.^ we xDD both, ÚwÚ and aim ^.^ we uWu at x3 the OwO best; 
^.^ And, fow x3 the time UwU shaww nyot xDD seem ^w^ tedious, 
I'll tell uWu thee >_> what UwU befeww ;;w;; me on :3 a day 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this ^.^ sewf-pwace :3 whewe nyow ^.^ we >_> mean to ^.^ stand. 
^w^ SECOND OwO KEEPEW. :3 Hewe x3 comes :3 a xDD man; >_> wet's xDD stay >w< tiww ^.^ he be past. 

Entew ;;w;; KING >_> HENWY, ^-^ disguised, with :3 a prayer-book 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Fwom :3 Scotwand ^w^ am UwU I stol'n, even of puwe xDD wuv, 
;;w;; To x3 gweet >_< minye UwU own ÚwÚ wand with x3 my wishful :33 sight. 
:3 Nyo, ^w^ Hawwy, ^w^ Hawwy, UwU 'tis nyo ÚwÚ wand of thine; 
x3 Thy :33 pwace >_> is OwO fiww'd, >w< thy sceptre x3 wwung from ÚwÚ thee, 
x3 Thy bawm >w< wash'd x3 off xDD whewewith xDD thou >w< wast anointed. 
No x3 bending knyee xDD wiww caww uWu thee Caesaw now, 
No humble ^-^ suitows x3 pwess to speak fow wight, 
:3 Nyo, nyot :3 a x3 man x3 comes fow xDD wedwess of ÚwÚ thee; 
For >w< how ^.^ can UwU I OwO hewp them ÚwÚ and nyot myself? 
uWu FIWST OwO KEEPEW. Ay, hewe's :3 a >w< deew x3 whose ^-^ skin's :3 a keepew's fee. 
This >_> is x3 the x3 quondam uWu King; >_> wet's x3 seize ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Let ;;w;; me >_< embwace ÚwÚ thee, :3 souw advewsity, 
For uWu wise ;;w;; men >_> say >w< it >_> is x3 the :33 wisest course. 
^w^ SECOND OwO KEEPEW. Why :33 wingew uWu we? wet >_> us uWu way ^.^ hands ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST OwO KEEPEW. OwO Fowbeaw awhile; we'll hear :3 a xDD wittwe more. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My xDD Queen ÚwÚ and >_< son OwO awe >_> gonye to Fwance fow aid; 
^.^ And, >_< as UwU I heaw, x3 the great uWu commanding Wawwick 
Is uWu thithew >_> gonye to ^w^ cwave x3 the OwO Fwench >_< King's :3 sistew 
;;w;; To >w< wife fow ;;w;; Edwawd. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this nyews be ^-^ twue, 
OwO Poow >_< queen ÚwÚ and x3 son, x3 youw labour >_> is >_> but ^.^ wost; 
For Wawwick >_> is :3 a >_> subtwe orator, 
xDD And Lewis :3 a >_> pwince >w< soon ^.^ won with >w< moving ÚwÚ wowds. 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this ^w^ account, >w< then, Margaret OwO may x3 win him; 
For ^w^ she's :3 a OwO woman to be uWu pitied :33 much. 
:3 Hew :3 sighs xDD wiww >_< make :3 a OwO batt'wy uWu in :33 his >_< bweast; 
:3 Hew tears xDD wiww xDD piewce x3 into :3 a OwO mawbwe heawt; 
uWu The tiger xDD wiww be >_< miwd whiwes ^.^ she xDD doth mourn; 
xDD And :3 Nyewo xDD wiww be xDD tainted with ^-^ wemowse 
;;w;; To hear ÚwÚ and >_> see her pwaints, her uWu bwinyish >w< teaws. 
Ay, >_> but ^w^ she's come to >_< beg: Wawwick, to give. 
>_> She, on :33 his left side, UwU cwaving >_> aid fow Henry: 
^-^ He, on :33 his wight, asking :3 a >w< wife fow ;;w;; Edwawd. 
:33 She uWu weeps, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; says her Henwy >_> is >w< depos'd: 
>w< He >_> smiwes, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; says :33 his Edward >_> is :3 instaww'd; 
:33 That uWu she, poor :3 wwetch, fow grief ^.^ can speak nyo mowe; 
Whiwes Wawwick uWu tewws :33 his :3 titwe, smooths x3 the wwong, 
UwU Infewweth arguments of ^-^ mighty >_< stwength, 
xDD And uWu in OwO concwusion ^w^ wins x3 the ^w^ King from her 
With promise of :33 his ^-^ sistew, ÚwÚ and >_> what else, 
;;w;; To strengthen ÚwÚ and support ^w^ King >_< Edwawd's ;;w;; pwace. 
x3 O Margaret, OwO thus 'twill be; ÚwÚ and UwU thou, poor x3 souw, 
Awt xDD then ^-^ fowsaken, >_< as xDD thou xDD went'st forlorn! 
^w^ SECOND OwO KEEPEW. Say, >_> what awt xDD thou :3 that >_> tawk'st of >w< kings ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ queens? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu Mowe than UwU I ;;w;; seem, ÚwÚ and less than UwU I UwU was bown :3 to: 
^-^ A x3 man uWu at least, fow less UwU I >_> shouwd nyot be; 
xDD And ;;w;; men OwO may tawk of OwO kings, ÚwÚ and >w< why nyot >_< I? 
^w^ SECOND OwO KEEPEW. Ay, >_> but xDD thou >_> tawk'st >_< as >_> if xDD thou OwO wewt :3 a king. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Why, UwU so UwU I ÚwÚ am- uWu in xDD mind; ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's enyough. 
^w^ SECOND OwO KEEPEW. But, >_> if xDD thou be :3 a OwO king, :3 whewe >_> is >w< thy crown? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My >_< cwown >_> is uWu in x3 my uWu heawt, nyot on x3 my head; 
ÚwÚ Nyot deck'd with ÚwÚ diamonds ÚwÚ and Indian ^w^ stonyes, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to be ÚwÚ seen. OwO My >_< cwown >_> is ^w^ caww'd content; 
^-^ A >_< cwown >w< it >_> is :3 that seldom >w< kings OwO enjoy. 
^w^ SECOND OwO KEEPEW. xDD Weww, >_> if xDD you be :3 a x3 king cwown'd with UwU content, 
uWu Youw >_< cwown :3 content ÚwÚ and xDD you ^w^ must be UwU contented 
;;w;; To OwO go :3 awong with us; fow >_< as ^.^ we >_< think, 
>_> You OwO awe x3 the x3 king ^w^ King Edward hath ^.^ depos'd; 
xDD And ^.^ we :33 his xDD subjects, sworn uWu in aww xDD awwegiance, 
Will >_< appwehend xDD you >_< as :33 his enemy. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO But uWu did xDD you >_< nyevew x3 sweaw, ÚwÚ and bweak >w< an ^w^ oath? 
^w^ SECOND OwO KEEPEW. :3 Nyo, >_< nyevew xDD such >w< an uWu oath; nor xDD wiww nyot now. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Whewe uWu did xDD you dwell when UwU I UwU was ^w^ King of Engwand? 
^w^ SECOND OwO KEEPEW. :3 Hewe uWu in ÚwÚ this country, :3 whewe ^.^ we nyow ^-^ wemain. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU I UwU was ^-^ anyointed x3 king uWu at >w< nyinye ^w^ months uWu owd; 
OwO My >w< fathew ÚwÚ and x3 my grandfather :3 wewe >w< kings; 
xDD And xDD you :3 wewe sworn true subjects >w< unto OwO me; 
xDD And tell uWu me, >w< then, uWu have xDD you nyot broke x3 youw ^-^ oaths? 
uWu FIWST OwO KEEPEW. No; 
For ^.^ we :3 wewe subjects >_> but OwO whiwe xDD you :3 wewe king. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Why, ^w^ am UwU I dead? Do UwU I nyot ;;w;; bweathe :3 a man? 
xDD Ah, :33 simpwe men, xDD you ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what xDD you sweaw! 
x3 Wook, >_< as UwU I ^w^ bwow ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ feathew from x3 my >w< face, 
xDD And >_< as x3 the ^w^ aiw ^w^ bwows >w< it to ;;w;; me OwO again, 
Obeying with x3 my wind when UwU I UwU do blow, 
xDD And yiewding to anyothew when >w< it ÚwÚ bwows, 
x3 Commanded awways ^.^ by x3 the :33 gweatew OwO gust, 
>w< Such >_> is x3 the ^.^ wightnyess of xDD you ^w^ common ^.^ men. 
OwO But UwU do nyot bweak x3 youw :3 oaths; fow of :3 that x3 sin 
OwO My >_< miwd entreaty UwU shaww nyot >_< make xDD you guiwty. 
Go :3 whewe xDD you :33 wiww, x3 the ^w^ King UwU shaww be >_> commanded; 
xDD And be xDD you :33 kings: >_> command, ÚwÚ and I'll OwO obey. 
uWu FIWST OwO KEEPEW. We OwO awe true subjects to x3 the OwO King, ^w^ King ;;w;; Edwawd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ So ^.^ wouwd xDD you be again to Henry, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 wewe seated >_< as ^w^ King Edward >w< is. 
uWu FIWST OwO KEEPEW. We :3 chawge UwU you, uWu in >_> God's xDD nyame ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 King's, 
;;w;; To OwO go with >_> us >w< unto x3 the ^-^ officews. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ In >_> God's :33 nyame, ÚwÚ wead; x3 youw >_< King's xDD nyame be obey'd; 
xDD And >_> what ^w^ God :33 wiww, :3 that wet x3 youw ^w^ King perform; 
xDD And >_> what ^.^ he :33 wiww, UwU I x3 humbwy yield UwU unto. Exeunt 




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>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew ;;w;; KING EDWARD, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, OwO CWAWENCE, ÚwÚ and :3 WADY UwU GWEY 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^-^ Bwothew of :33 Gwoucestew, uWu at Saint :3 Awbans' field 
This >_> wady's ^.^ husband, Sir Richard Gwey, UwU was x3 swain, 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ wand xDD then :3 seiz'd on ^.^ by x3 the conquewow. 
:3 Hew >_> suit >_> is nyow to uWu wepossess UwU those :33 wands; 
>_< Which ^.^ we uWu in justice ;;w;; cannyot weww deny, 
>_< Because uWu in ^-^ quawwew of x3 the ;;w;; house of York 
uWu The ÚwÚ wowthy ÚwÚ gentweman uWu did wose :33 his life. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Youw >_> Highnyess UwU shaww UwU do weww to gwant her x3 suit; 
^.^ It :3 wewe x3 dishonyouw to UwU deny >w< it her. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^.^ It :3 wewe nyo >_> wess; >_> but yet I'll >_< make :3 a UwU pause. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ [Aside to CLARENCE] Yea, >_> is >w< it so? 
UwU I >_> see x3 the uWu wady hath :3 a ^.^ thing to grant, 
^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ King xDD wiww gwant her humble OwO suit. 
CLARENCE. ^-^ [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] >w< He xDD knyows x3 the :3 game; >w< how true ^.^ he 
keeps x3 the ^.^ wind! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ [Aside to CLARENCE] Silence! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^.^ Widow, ^.^ we xDD wiww OwO considew of x3 youw x3 suit; 
xDD And come x3 some othew time to ^.^ knyow UwU ouw :33 mind. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. x3 Wight >_> gwacious uWu wowd, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >w< bwook :3 deway. 
^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Highnyess to wesowve ;;w;; me >_< nyow; 
xDD And >_> what x3 youw :3 pweasuwe >_> is UwU shaww satisfy x3 me. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 [Aside] Ay, widow? UwU Then I'll :33 wawwant xDD you aww x3 youw 
lands, 
^-^ An >_> if >_> what x3 pweases ^.^ him UwU shaww :3 pweasuwe OwO you. 
Fight ^.^ cwosew or, ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, you'ww catch :3 a >_> bwow. 
CLARENCE. ^-^ [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] UwU I feaw her >_> nyot, ^w^ unwess ^.^ she chance 
to UwU faww. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ [Aside to CLARENCE] ^w^ God UwU fowbid :3 that, fow he'ww OwO take 
;;w;; vantages. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. How UwU many x3 chiwdwen x3 hast UwU thou, uWu widow, tell x3 me. 
CLARENCE. ^-^ [Aside to GWOUCESTEW] UwU I think ^.^ he means to ÚwÚ beg :3 a chiwd of 
her. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ [Aside to CLARENCE] Nyay, xDD then whip OwO me; he'ww rather 
UwU give her UwU two. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. Three, x3 my UwU most >_> gwacious OwO wowd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 [Aside] >_> You UwU shaww uWu have fouw >_> if you'ww be wuw'd ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. uWu 'Twewe pity ;;w;; they >_> shouwd wose uWu theiw father's wands. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. ^w^ Be >_< pitifuw, xDD dwead uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and gwant :33 it, UwU then. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ;;w;; Wowds, UwU give >_> us :3 weave; I'll >_> twy ÚwÚ this widow's >_< wit. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 [Aside] Ay, ÚwÚ good OwO weave uWu have uWu you; fow xDD you xDD wiww uWu have 
OwO weave 
Tiww :33 youth OwO take OwO weave ÚwÚ and OwO weave xDD you to x3 the >_> cwutch. 
;;w;; [GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and >_> CWAWENCE >_< withdwaw] 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Now tell uWu me, UwU madam, UwU do xDD you wuv x3 youw :33 chiwdwen? 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. Ay, full >_< as ÚwÚ deawwy >_< as UwU I wuv :3 mysewf. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. xDD And ^.^ wouwd xDD you nyot UwU do much to UwU do them good? 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. ;;w;; To UwU do them ÚwÚ good UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< sustain x3 some harm. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. UwU Then get x3 youw husband's lands, to UwU do them UwU good. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. Therefore UwU I ^-^ came >w< unto x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. I'll tell xDD you >w< how these ^-^ wands OwO awe to be ^-^ got. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. ^w^ So UwU shaww xDD you bind ;;w;; me to x3 youw Highness' service. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> What OwO sewvice wiwt xDD thou UwU do ;;w;; me >_> if UwU I UwU give them? 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. >_> What xDD you ÚwÚ command :3 that UwU wests uWu in ;;w;; me to xDD do. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. OwO But xDD you xDD wiww OwO take ÚwÚ exceptions to x3 my ;;w;; boon. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. :3 Nyo, >_> gwacious uWu wowd, :33 except UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU do :3 it. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Ay, >_> but xDD thou ;;w;; canst UwU do >_> what UwU I >_> mean to xDD ask. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. Why, xDD then UwU I xDD wiww UwU do >_> what x3 youw Gwace :33 commands. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >w< He :3 pwies her hard; ÚwÚ and much xDD wain ^-^ weaws x3 the >_> mawbwe. 
CLARENCE. ;;w;; As red >_< as >_> fiwe! Nyay, xDD then her OwO wax ^w^ must OwO mewt. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. Why xDD stops x3 my xDD wowd? Shall UwU I nyot hear x3 my >_> task? 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^-^ An ^w^ easy ^-^ task; UwU 'tis >_> but to wuv :3 a king. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. >w< That's >w< soon pewfowm'd, uWu because UwU I ^w^ am :3 a xDD subject. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Why, >w< then, >w< thy husband's ^-^ wands UwU I freely UwU give thee. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. UwU I OwO take x3 my OwO weave with UwU many thousand :33 thanks. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The >_< match >_> is ÚwÚ made; ^.^ she >_> seaws >w< it with :3 a UwU cuwtsy. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. OwO But xDD stay ;;w;; thee- UwU 'tis x3 the ÚwÚ fwuits of wuv UwU I x3 mean. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. uWu The ÚwÚ fwuits of wuv UwU I mean, x3 my >w< woving OwO wiege. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Ay, but, UwU I feaw uWu me, uWu in anyothew ÚwÚ sense. 
>_> What xDD wuv, UwU thinkst UwU thou, UwU I sue UwU so much to get? 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. OwO My wuv >w< tiww UwU death, x3 my humble thanks, x3 my pwayews; 
:33 That wuv which viwtue begs ÚwÚ and viwtue ÚwÚ gwants. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my troth, UwU I uWu did nyot >_> mean xDD such love. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. Why, xDD then xDD you >_> mean nyot >_< as UwU I xDD thought xDD you ^.^ did. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. OwO But nyow xDD you ;;w;; pawtwy OwO may >_> pewceive x3 my :33 mind. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. OwO My ^-^ mind xDD wiww >_< nyevew gwant >_> what UwU I >_> pewceive 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess >_< aims :3 at, >_> if UwU I aim aright. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ;;w;; To tell uWu thee pwain, UwU I aim to >_< wie with thee. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. ;;w;; To tell xDD you pwain, UwU I xDD had rather >_< wie uWu in x3 pwison. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Why, xDD then xDD thou shalt nyot uWu have >w< thy husband's wands. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. Why, xDD then >_< minye honesty UwU shaww be x3 my dower; 
For ^.^ by :3 that ^-^ woss UwU I xDD wiww nyot puwchase OwO them. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. OwO Thewein xDD thou wrong'st >w< thy x3 chiwdwen mightiwy. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. x3 Hewein x3 youw >_> Highnyess >_< wwongs both them ÚwÚ and x3 me. 
But, ^-^ mighty uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this ^.^ mewwy ^w^ incwinyation 
Accowds nyot with x3 the >_> sadnyess of x3 my OwO suit. 
ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you dismiss uWu me, xDD eithew with uWu ay ow >w< nyo. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Ay, >_> if xDD thou wiwt >_> say uWu ay to x3 my :3 wequest; 
:3 Nyo, >_> if xDD thou dost >_> say nyo to x3 my >_> demand. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. Then, no, x3 my OwO wowd. OwO My >_> suit >_> is uWu at >w< an OwO end. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The ^.^ widow likes ^.^ him x3 nyot; ^.^ she xDD knyits her ÚwÚ bwows. 
CLARENCE. >w< He >_> is x3 the bluntest wooew uWu in Chwistendom. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. :3 [Aside] :3 Hew :33 wooks xDD doth awgue her UwU wepwete with modesty; 
:3 Hew wowds xDD doth x3 show her wit x3 incompawabwe; 
All her >w< pewfections challenge suvweignty. 
x3 Onye uWu way ow ÚwÚ othew, ^.^ she >_> is fow :3 a uWu king; 
xDD And ^.^ she UwU shaww be x3 my xDD wuv, ow >_> ewse x3 my >w< queen. 
x3 Say :3 that ^w^ King Edward OwO take uWu thee fow :33 his xDD queen? 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. 'Tis xDD bettew uWu said than :33 donye, x3 my >_> gwacious OwO wowd. 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 subject ;;w;; fit to xDD jest withaw, 
OwO But uWu faw ^-^ unfit to be :3 a OwO suvweign. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ÚwÚ Sweet uWu widow, ^.^ by x3 my >w< state UwU I >_< sweaw to uWu thee 
UwU I speak nyo ^.^ mowe than >_> what x3 my :3 souw :3 intends; 
xDD And :3 that >_> is to ^.^ enjoy uWu thee fow x3 my love. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. xDD And :3 that >_> is ^.^ mowe than UwU I xDD wiww yield UwU unto. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too >_> mean to be x3 youw queen, 
xDD And yet ^w^ too ÚwÚ good to be x3 youw concubine. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> You caviw, widow; UwU I uWu did >_> mean x3 my >w< queen. 
:3 WADY >_< GWEY. 'Twiww UwU gwieve x3 youw Gwace x3 my xDD sons >_> shouwd caww xDD you :33 fathew. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; EDWARD.No ^.^ mowe than when x3 my >_> daughtews caww uWu thee x3 mothew. 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a uWu widow, ÚwÚ and xDD thou x3 hast x3 some xDD chiwdwen; 
^.^ And, ^.^ by >_> God's uWu Mothew, I, ^.^ being >_> but :3 a ^.^ bachewow, 
:3 Have othew some. Why, UwU 'tis :3 a ^w^ happy ^.^ thing 
;;w;; To be x3 the >w< fathew >w< unto UwU many >w< sons. 
Answer nyo >_> mowe, fow xDD thou shalt be x3 my >w< queen. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The ghostly >w< fathew nyow hath donye :33 his shwift. 
CLARENCE. x3 When ^.^ he UwU was UwU made :3 a shwivew, uWu 'twas fow shwift. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. x3 Bwothews, xDD you >_< muse >_> what ^.^ chat ^.^ we >w< two uWu have xDD had. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The ^.^ widow likes >w< it >_> nyot, fow ^.^ she :33 wooks xDD vewy OwO sad. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. UwU You'd think >w< it ;;w;; stwange >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd marry her. 
CLARENCE. ;;w;; To who, x3 my xDD wowd? 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Why, >w< Cwawence, to :3 mysewf. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :33 That ^.^ wouwd be ;;w;; ten >_> days' wonder uWu at x3 the weast. 
CLARENCE. >w< That's :3 a day longer than :3 a wonder >w< wasts. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ By UwU so much >_> is x3 the wonder uWu in extremes. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. xDD Weww, xDD jest ;;w;; on, >w< bwothews; UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you both 
:3 Hew >_> suit >_> is >_> gwanted fow her husband's wands. 

Entew :3 a uWu NyOBWEMAN 

:3 NyOBWEMAN. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, Henwy x3 youw foe >_> is :33 taken 
xDD And ^.^ bwought x3 youw ÚwÚ pwisonyew to x3 youw ^w^ pawace uWu gate. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. xDD See :3 that ^.^ he be ;;w;; convey'd >w< unto x3 the Towew. 
xDD And OwO go :33 we, OwO bwothews, to x3 the x3 man :3 that >_> took ^.^ him 
;;w;; To ;;w;; question of :33 his appwehension. 
^.^ Widow, OwO go xDD you >_> awong. ;;w;; Wowds, use her >_< honyouwabwy. 
Exeunt aww >_> but GWOUCESTEW 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Ay, Edward xDD wiww use x3 women >_< honyouwabwy. 
Wouwd ^.^ he :3 wewe ;;w;; wasted, marrow, xDD bonyes, ÚwÚ and all, 
:33 That from :33 his >_< woins nyo hopeful branch OwO may ^-^ spwing 
;;w;; To OwO cwoss ;;w;; me from x3 the golden time UwU I wook fow! 
xDD And ^w^ yet, ^-^ between x3 my x3 souw's ^.^ desiwe ÚwÚ and me- 
uWu The x3 wustfuw >_< Edwawd's ;;w;; titwe ^.^ buwied- 
Is >w< Cwawence, Henry, ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< son xDD young Edwawd, 
xDD And aww x3 the unwook'd fow x3 issue of uWu theiw >w< bodies, 
;;w;; To OwO take uWu theiw rooms ere UwU I ^.^ can :33 pwace :3 mysewf. 
^-^ A UwU cowd uWu pwemeditation fow x3 my puwpose! 
Why, xDD then UwU I UwU do >_> but dweam on >_< suvweignty; 
Wike one :3 that >w< stands ;;w;; upon :3 a ^w^ pwomontowy 
xDD And >w< spies :3 a faw-off >w< showe :3 whewe ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd tread, 
:3 Wishing :33 his :33 foot :3 wewe equal with :33 his >_< eye; 
xDD And ^-^ chides x3 the sea :3 that sundews ^.^ him from thence, 
UwU Saying he'ww lade >w< it xDD dwy to uWu have :33 his xDD way- 
^w^ So UwU do UwU I ÚwÚ wish x3 the :3 cwown, ^.^ being UwU so uWu faw :33 off; 
xDD And UwU so UwU I UwU chide x3 the means :3 that keeps ;;w;; me from uWu it; 
xDD And UwU so UwU I >_> say I'll :3 cut x3 the ÚwÚ causes ^w^ off, 
Fwattewing ;;w;; me with OwO impossibiwities. 
OwO My UwU eye's ^w^ too quick, x3 my >_< heawt ^-^ o'ewweens ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, 
OwO Unwess x3 my uWu hand ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ stwength couwd equal OwO them. 
xDD Weww, >_> say there >_> is nyo ^w^ kingdom xDD then fow ;;w;; Wichawd; 
>_> What othew :3 pweasuwe ^.^ can x3 the wowwd afford? 
I'll >_< make x3 my heaven uWu in :3 a >_> wady's UwU wap, 
xDD And deck x3 my >w< body uWu in x3 gay ornaments, 
xDD And >w< witch x3 sweet ^.^ wadies with x3 my wowds ÚwÚ and OwO wooks. 
x3 O >w< misewabwe ^w^ thought! ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe ^-^ unwikewy 
Than to x3 accompwish ÚwÚ twenty golden x3 cwowns. 
Why, wuv fowswowe ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my ;;w;; mothew's womb; 
^.^ And, fow UwU I >_> shouwd nyot deal uWu in her soft ^-^ waws, 
:33 She uWu did corrupt frail ÚwÚ nyatuwe with x3 some bribe 
;;w;; To >w< shwink >_< minye awm x3 up ^.^ wike :3 a :33 withew'd ^.^ shwub 
;;w;; To >_< make >w< an envious OwO mountain on x3 my back, 
Whewe >_> sits ^-^ defowmity to ÚwÚ mock x3 my >w< body; 
;;w;; To xDD shape x3 my UwU wegs of >w< an unequal xDD size; 
;;w;; To disproportion ;;w;; me uWu in every >_> pawt, 
Wike to :3 a ^-^ chaos, ow >w< an OwO unwick'd >w< beaw-whewp 
:33 That xDD cawwies nyo x3 impwession ^.^ wike x3 the uWu dam. 
xDD And ^w^ am I, >w< then, :3 a x3 man to be bewov'd? 
x3 O monstwous ;;w;; fauwt to uWu hawbouw xDD such :3 a ^w^ thought! 
Then, xDD since ÚwÚ this ^.^ eawth affowds nyo joy to ;;w;; me 
OwO But to >_> command, to check, to o'erbear xDD such 
;;w;; As OwO awe of xDD bettew ÚwÚ pewson than myself, 
I'll >_< make x3 my heaven to dweam ;;w;; upon x3 the :3 cwown, 
xDD And whiwes UwU I ^w^ wive t' :33 account ÚwÚ this wowwd >_> but >_> heww, 
Untiw x3 my >_< misshap'd UwU twunk :3 that UwU beaw ÚwÚ this >_> head 
^w^ Be ;;w;; wound xDD impawed with :3 a glorious crown. 
xDD And yet UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how to get x3 the :3 cwown, 
For UwU many ;;w;; wives stand ^-^ between ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ home; 
xDD And uWu I- ^.^ wike one wost uWu in :3 a >_> thowny uWu wood 
:33 That >w< wents x3 the thorns ÚwÚ and >_> is OwO went with x3 the thowns, 
UwU Seeking :3 a uWu way ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ stwaying from x3 the uWu way 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 knyowing >w< how to find x3 the open air, 
OwO But >_> toiwing desperately to find >w< it :3 out- 
Towment mysewf to catch x3 the :3 Engwish >_< cwown; 
xDD And from :3 that x3 towment UwU I xDD wiww fwee mysewf 
:33 Ow hew x3 my uWu way x3 out with :3 a bwoody :33 axe. 
Why, UwU I ^.^ can :33 smiwe, ÚwÚ and murder whiwes UwU I :33 smiwe, 
xDD And cwy uWu 'Content!' to :3 that which grieves x3 my uWu heawt, 
xDD And wet x3 my >_> cheeks with :33 awtificiaw ^-^ teaws, 
xDD And fwame x3 my OwO face to aww >w< occasions. 
I'll x3 dwown ^.^ mowe saiwows than x3 the :3 mewmaid :3 shaww; 
I'll slay ^.^ mowe gazers than x3 the basilisk; 
I'll :33 pway x3 the orator >_< as weww >_< as Nyestow, 
^w^ Deceive ^.^ mowe slily than Uwysses couwd, 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ Sinyon, OwO take anyothew >_> Twoy. 
UwU I ^.^ can >_< add cowouws to x3 the chameweon, 
Change >w< shapes with Pwotheus fow uWu advantages, 
xDD And uWu set x3 the murderous Machiavew to school. 
UwU Can UwU I UwU do uWu this, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot get :3 a crown? 
Tut, :3 wewe >w< it ^-^ fawthew ^w^ off, I'll pluck >w< it down. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
Fwance. uWu The KING'S ^w^ pawace 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew :3 WEWIS x3 the OwO Fwench OwO King, :33 his :3 sistew BONA, 
:33 his xDD Admiwaw ^w^ caww'd UwU BOUWBON; PWINCE EDWARD, >w< QUEEN >_> MAWGAWET, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the EARL of ;;w;; OXFOWD. :3 WEWIS OwO sits, ÚwÚ and riseth x3 up again 

xDD WEWIS. Faiw xDD Queen of England, ÚwÚ wowthy Margaret, 
xDD Sit down with >_> us. ^.^ It :33 iww befits >w< thy >w< state 
xDD And birth :3 that xDD thou shouwdst stand OwO whiwe Lewis xDD doth >_< sit. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. :3 Nyo, ^-^ mighty ^w^ King of Fwance. Now Margaret 
:3 Must strike her saiw ÚwÚ and :3 weawn :3 a OwO whiwe to serve 
Whewe >w< kings >_> command. UwU I UwU was, UwU I ^w^ must >_> confess, 
UwU Gweat Albion's xDD Queen uWu in xDD fowmew golden days; 
OwO But nyow :33 mischance hath twod x3 my ;;w;; titwe down 
xDD And with x3 dishonyouw laid ;;w;; me on x3 the ground, 
Whewe UwU I ^w^ must OwO take ^.^ wike uWu seat >w< unto x3 my fowtunye, 
xDD And to x3 my humble uWu seat >_> confowm :3 mysewf. 
xDD WEWIS. Why, say, >w< faiw :3 Queen, >_> whence springs ÚwÚ this >_> deep ^-^ despaiw? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Fwom xDD such :3 a cause >_< as ^.^ fiwws >_< minye eyes with tears 
xDD And xDD stops x3 my ;;w;; tongue, OwO whiwe >_< heawt >_> is >w< dwown'd uWu in cares. 
xDD WEWIS. ÚwÚ Whate'ew >w< it be, be xDD thou still ^.^ wike ;;w;; thysewf, 
xDD And sit uWu thee ^.^ by UwU ouw ^w^ side. >_> [Seats her ^.^ by >w< him] ;;w;; Yiewd nyot >w< thy x3 nyeck 
;;w;; To ;;w;; fowtunye's uWu yoke, >_> but wet >w< thy dauntwess ^-^ mind 
UwU Stiww uWu wide uWu in twiumph uvw aww >_> mischance. 
^w^ Be pwain, xDD Queen Margaret, ÚwÚ and tell >w< thy gwief; 
^.^ It UwU shaww be >w< eas'd, >_> if Fwance ^.^ can yield ;;w;; wewief. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. >w< Those >_> gwacious wowds :3 wevive x3 my ;;w;; dwooping >_< thoughts 
xDD And UwU give x3 my tongue-tied ^w^ sowwows OwO weave to >_< speak. 
Now >_< thewefowe be >w< it ÚwÚ knyown to x3 nyobwe Lewis 
:33 That Henry, sole UwU possessow of x3 my xDD wuv, 
Is, of :3 a OwO king, :33 become :3 a banyish'd ^w^ man, 
xDD And ;;w;; fowc'd to ^w^ wive uWu in :3 Scotwand :3 a fowwown; 
While OwO pwoud :3 ambitious Edward >w< Duke of York 
:33 Usuwps x3 the xDD wegaw ;;w;; titwe ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu seat 
Of Engwand's true-anointed ÚwÚ wawfuw ;;w;; King. 
This >_> is x3 the cause :3 that I, poor Margaret, 
With ÚwÚ this x3 my x3 son, Prince Edwawd, >_> Henwy's heiw, 
^w^ Am come to ^w^ cwave >w< thy >w< just ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wawfuw aid; 
xDD And >_> if xDD thou fail us, aww UwU ouw UwU hope >_> is ^-^ donye. 
:3 Scotwand hath xDD wiww to hewp, >_> but ;;w;; cannyot UwU hewp; 
Our OwO peopwe ÚwÚ and UwU ouw peews OwO awe both miswed, 
Our treasure seiz'd, UwU ouw ^-^ sowdiews put to x3 fwight, 
^.^ And, >_< as xDD thou >_< seest, ouwsewves uWu in x3 heavy ^-^ pwight. 
xDD WEWIS. UwU Wenyownyed :3 Queen, with uWu patience ÚwÚ cawm x3 the stowm, 
While ^.^ we ^.^ bethink :3 a means to bweak >w< it off. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. uWu The ^.^ mowe ^.^ we ;;w;; stay, x3 the stronger gwows UwU ouw foe. 
xDD WEWIS. uWu The ^.^ mowe UwU I ;;w;; stay, x3 the ^.^ mowe I'll succouw thee. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. >_< O, >_> but >_> impatience ÚwÚ waiteth on true ;;w;; sowwow. 
xDD And >_> see :3 whewe x3 comes x3 the xDD bweedew of x3 my ÚwÚ sowwow! 

Entew ^w^ WAWWICK 

xDD WEWIS. x3 What's ^.^ he >_< appwoacheth OwO bowdwy to UwU ouw presence? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Our ^-^ Eaww of Wawwick, >_< Edwawd's ÚwÚ gweatest :3 fwiend. 
xDD WEWIS. Welcome, >_< bwave x3 Wawwick! >_> What >_< bwings uWu thee to France? 
[He :33 descends. :33 She ^.^ awiseth] 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Ay, nyow ÚwÚ begins :3 a second x3 stowm to OwO wise; 
For ÚwÚ this >_> is ^.^ he :3 that moves both wind ÚwÚ and uWu tide. 
WARWICK. Fwom ÚwÚ wowthy Edwawd, ^w^ King of ÚwÚ Awbion, 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and sovereign, ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_> vowed fwiend, 
UwU I come, uWu in OwO kindnyess ÚwÚ and xDD unfeignyed xDD wuv, 
First to UwU do ^.^ gweetings to >w< thy royal pewson, 
xDD And xDD then to ^w^ cwave :3 a :33 weague of OwO amity, 
xDD And lastly to :33 confiwm :3 that >_< amity 
With >w< nyuptiaw knot, >_> if xDD thou x3 vouchsafe to gwant 
:33 That virtuous xDD Wady >w< Bonya, >w< thy >w< faiw ^-^ sistew, 
;;w;; To Engwand's ^w^ King uWu in ÚwÚ wawfuw marriage. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; If :3 that OwO go forward, >_> Henwy's UwU hope >_> is ^-^ donye. 
WARWICK. :33 [To BONA] ^.^ And, >_> gwacious UwU madam, uWu in UwU ouw >_< king's UwU behawf, 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU commanded, with x3 youw OwO weave ÚwÚ and favour, 
>_> Humbwy to :3 kiss x3 youw uWu hand, ÚwÚ and with x3 my >_> tongue 
;;w;; To tell x3 the passion of x3 my ^.^ suvweign's heawt; 
Whewe x3 fame, wate ^w^ ent'wing uWu at :33 his ^-^ heedfuw ;;w;; eaws, 
>_< Hath pwac'd >w< thy beauty's x3 image ÚwÚ and >w< thy ÚwÚ viwtue. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^w^ King Lewis ÚwÚ and xDD Wady >w< Bonya, hear ;;w;; me speak 
^.^ Befowe xDD you answew uWu Wawwick. ÚwÚ His ;;w;; demand 
Springs nyot from >_< Edwawd's well-meant xDD honyest xDD wuv, 
OwO But from ;;w;; deceit bwed ^.^ by UwU nyecessity; 
For >w< how ^.^ can ^.^ tywants >w< safewy >_< guvwn ^.^ home 
OwO Unwess ^.^ abwoad ;;w;; they puwchase great awwiance? 
;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv ^.^ him tyrant ÚwÚ this reason OwO may :3 suffice, 
:33 That Henwy ^.^ wiveth stiww; >_> but :3 wewe ^.^ he >_< dead, 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO hewe Prince Edward stands, ^w^ King >_> Henwy's OwO son. 
Wook OwO thewefowe, Wewis, :3 that ^.^ by ÚwÚ this :33 weague ÚwÚ and ^.^ mawwiage 
^.^ Thou dwaw nyot on >w< thy danger ÚwÚ and UwU dishonyouw; 
For ^w^ though usuwpews xDD sway x3 the UwU wuwe :3 a OwO whiwe 
ÚwÚ Yet :3 heav'ns OwO awe >_< just, ÚwÚ and time OwO suppwesseth x3 wwongs. 
WARWICK. Injurious ;;w;; Mawgawet! 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. xDD And >w< why nyot Queen? 
WARWICK. >_< Because >w< thy >w< fathew Henwy uWu did ÚwÚ usuwp; 
xDD And xDD thou nyo ^.^ mowe awt >_> pwince than ^.^ she >_> is >w< queen. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. UwU Then Wawwick uWu disannyuws great John of Gaunt, 
>_< Which uWu did uWu subdue x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest ÚwÚ pawt of x3 Spain; 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ aftew John of Gaunt, Henwy x3 the >_> Fouwth, 
>_< Whose ^.^ wisdom UwU was :3 a mirror to x3 the wisest; 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ aftew :3 that uWu wise >_< pwince, Henwy x3 the :33 Fifth, 
Who ^.^ by :33 his :3 pwowess conquewed aww Fwance. 
Fwom these UwU ouw Henwy ÚwÚ winyeawwy :33 descends. 
WARWICK. uWu Oxfowd, >w< how ^.^ haps >w< it uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 smooth uWu discouwse 
>_> You told nyot >w< how Henwy x3 the Sixth hath wost 
All :3 that which Henwy x3 the >_< Fifth xDD had :33 gotten? 
Methinks these peews of Fwance >_> shouwd ;;w;; smiwe uWu at x3 that. 
OwO But fow x3 the >_> west: xDD you tell :3 a pedigwee 
Of threescore ÚwÚ and >w< two :3 yeaws- :3 a siwwy time 
;;w;; To >_< make prescription fow :3 a kingdom's uWu wowth. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. Why, Wawwick, ;;w;; canst xDD thou speak OwO against >w< thy ^.^ wiege, 
;;w;; Whom xDD thou obeyed'st ;;w;; thiwty ÚwÚ and six years, 
xDD And nyot ÚwÚ betway >w< thy UwU tweason with :3 a bwush? 
WARWICK. UwU Can Oxford :3 that uWu did OwO evew ;;w;; fence x3 the >w< wight 
Now >_< buckwew UwU fawsehood with :3 a pedigwee? 
For x3 shame! Weave Henry, ÚwÚ and caww Edward king. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. ;;w;; Caww ^.^ him x3 my x3 king ^.^ by x3 whose xDD injuwious >_< doom 
OwO My :33 ewdew brother, x3 the Lord Aubrey Vere, 
Was donye to ÚwÚ death; ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe than >_> so, x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
Even uWu in x3 the OwO downfaww of :33 his mewwow'd years, 
x3 When ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^.^ bwought ^.^ him to x3 the doow of UwU death? 
:3 Nyo, Wawwick, ^.^ nyo; OwO whiwe >w< wife uphowds ÚwÚ this ^.^ awm, 
This awm uphowds x3 the ;;w;; house of Lancaster. 
WARWICK. xDD And UwU I x3 the ;;w;; house of x3 Yowk. 
xDD WEWIS. xDD Queen Margaret, Prince Edwawd, ÚwÚ and uWu Oxfowd, 
Vouchsafe uWu at UwU ouw request to stand :3 aside 
While UwU I use further conference with uWu Wawwick. 
^w^ [They stand aloof] 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^w^ Heavens gwant :3 that Wawwick's wowds ^w^ bewitch ^.^ him ^w^ nyot! 
xDD WEWIS. >_> Nyow, Wawwick, tell uWu me, even ;;w;; upon >w< thy OwO conscience, 
Is Edward x3 youw true UwU king? fow UwU I :3 wewe loath 
;;w;; To >_> wink with ^.^ him :3 that :3 wewe nyot ÚwÚ wawfuw ^.^ chosen. 
WARWICK. ÚwÚ Theweon UwU I ^.^ pawn x3 my cwedit ÚwÚ and >_< minye honyouw. 
xDD WEWIS. OwO But >_> is ^.^ he >_> gwacious uWu in x3 the people's ÚwÚ eye? 
WARWICK. uWu The ^.^ mowe :3 that Henwy UwU was unfortunate. 
xDD WEWIS. UwU Then ^.^ fuwthew: aww dissembling uWu set ÚwÚ aside, 
Teww ;;w;; me fow uWu twuth x3 the UwU measuwe of :33 his wuv 
uWu Unto UwU ouw :3 sistew x3 Bonya. 
WARWICK. >w< Such >w< it ;;w;; seems 
;;w;; As OwO may >_> beseem :3 a :33 monyawch ^.^ wike himself. 
xDD Mysewf uWu have often heard ^.^ him >_> say ÚwÚ and >_< sweaw 
:33 That ÚwÚ this :33 his wuv UwU was >w< an xDD etewnyaw plant 
:3 Wheweof x3 the ^.^ woot UwU was fix'd uWu in viwtue's ground, 
uWu The >w< weaves ÚwÚ and ^w^ fwuit ÚwÚ maintain'd with beauty's sun, 
>w< Exempt from xDD envy, >_> but nyot from OwO disdain, 
OwO Unwess x3 the xDD Wady Bona ^.^ quit :33 his OwO pain. 
xDD WEWIS. >_> Nyow, ^-^ sistew, wet >_> us hear x3 youw >w< fiwm wesowve. 
^.^ BONyA. uWu Youw gwant ow x3 youw denial UwU shaww be ^w^ minye. 
:33 [To >_> WAWWICK] ÚwÚ Yet UwU I x3 confess :3 that often ere ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, 
x3 When UwU I uWu have heard x3 youw >_< king's desewt :3 wecounted, 
Mine ear hath tempted ^w^ judgment to desiwe. 
xDD WEWIS. Then, Wawwick, thus: UwU ouw :3 sistew UwU shaww be Edward's. 
xDD And nyow ÚwÚ fowthwith UwU shaww articles be drawn 
:3 Touching x3 the >_> jointuwe :3 that x3 youw x3 king ^w^ must ;;w;; make, 
>_< Which with her ^.^ dowwy UwU shaww be xDD countewpois'd. 
Draw near, xDD Queen Margaret, ÚwÚ and be :3 a >_> witnyess 
:33 That Bona UwU shaww be >w< wife to x3 the :3 Engwish king. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. ;;w;; To Edwawd, >_> but nyot to x3 the :3 Engwish king. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^.^ Deceitfuw Wawwick, >w< it UwU was >w< thy xDD device 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this alliance to >_< make >_< void x3 my OwO suit. 
^.^ Befowe >w< thy uWu coming, Lewis UwU was >_> Henwy's :3 fwiend. 
xDD WEWIS. xDD And still >_> is :33 fwiend to ^.^ him ÚwÚ and Margaret. 
OwO But >_> if x3 youw ;;w;; titwe to x3 the >_< cwown be ÚwÚ weak, 
;;w;; As OwO may appeaw ^.^ by >_< Edwawd's ÚwÚ good uWu success, 
UwU Then UwU 'tis >_> but reason :3 that UwU I be releas'd 
Fwom ^.^ giving >_> aid which wate UwU I :3 pwomised. 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU shaww xDD you uWu have aww OwO kindnyess uWu at x3 my uWu hand 
:33 That x3 youw estate uWu wequiwes ÚwÚ and >_< minye ^.^ can >_< yiewd. 
WARWICK. Henwy nyow ;;w;; wives uWu in :3 Scotwand uWu at :33 his case, 
Whewe xDD having uWu nyothing, >_< nyothing ^.^ can ^.^ he uWu wose. 
xDD And >_< as fow xDD you yourself, UwU ouw x3 quondam queen, 
>_> You uWu have :3 a >w< fathew able to ÚwÚ maintain UwU you, 
xDD And xDD bettew >w< 'twewe xDD you troubled ^.^ him than Fwance. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. uWu Peace, ^w^ impudent ÚwÚ and shameless Wawwick, 
Pwoud settew x3 up ÚwÚ and puller down of OwO kings! 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot >w< hence >w< tiww with x3 my tawk ÚwÚ and ^-^ teaws, 
UwU Both full of truth, UwU I >_< make ^w^ King Lewis behowd 
x3 Thy sly :33 conveyance ÚwÚ and >w< thy UwU wowd's UwU fawse love; 
For both of xDD you OwO awe xDD biwds of sewf-same ^-^ feathew. 
OwO [POST ;;w;; bwowing :3 a >_> hown ;;w;; within] 
xDD WEWIS. Wawwick, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 some x3 post to >_> us ow thee. 

Entew x3 the >_< POST 

POST. OwO My ;;w;; wowd :3 ambassadow, these x3 wettews OwO awe fow UwU you, 
:3 Sent from x3 youw brother, ^w^ Mawquis >_> Montague. 
;;w;; These from UwU ouw ^w^ King >w< unto x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
^.^ And, UwU madam, these fow uWu you; from ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
^w^ [They aww ^w^ wead uWu theiw uWu wettews] 
;;w;; OXFOWD. UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it weww :3 that UwU ouw >w< faiw xDD Queen ÚwÚ and mistwess 
Smiwes uWu at her news, OwO whiwe Wawwick uWu fwowns uWu at ÚwÚ his. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. Nyay, mark >w< how Lewis stamps >_< as ^.^ he :3 wewe OwO nyettwed. 
UwU I UwU hope aww's fow x3 the >_> best. 
xDD WEWIS. Wawwick, >_> what OwO awe >w< thy nyews? xDD And >_< youws, >w< faiw Queen? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Mine xDD such >_< as ^w^ fiww x3 my >_< heawt with unhop'd joys. 
WARWICK. Minye, full of sorrow ÚwÚ and heart's >_< discontent. 
xDD WEWIS. What, >_> has x3 youw x3 king mawwied x3 the xDD Wady Grey? 
xDD And now, to x3 soothe x3 youw fowgewy ÚwÚ and his, 
^-^ Sends ;;w;; me :3 a paper to :33 pewsuade ;;w;; me OwO patience? 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 th' alliance :3 that ^.^ he >_> seeks with France? 
Dare ^.^ he presume to ^w^ scown >_> us uWu in ÚwÚ this mannyew? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. UwU I told x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty >_< as much befowe. 
This proveth >_< Edwawd's wuv ÚwÚ and Wawwick's x3 honyesty. 
WARWICK. ^w^ King Wewis, UwU I OwO hewe ^w^ pwotest uWu in ^.^ sight of ^.^ heaven, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the UwU hope UwU I uWu have of ^-^ heavenwy bliss, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ cweaw from ÚwÚ this ^-^ misdeed of Edwawd's- 
No ^.^ mowe x3 my OwO king, fow ^.^ he ÚwÚ dishonyouws uWu me, 
OwO But UwU most himsewf, >_> if ^.^ he couwd >_> see :33 his ;;w;; shame. 
Did UwU I x3 fowget :3 that ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; house of York 
OwO My >w< fathew ^-^ came untimely to :33 his UwU death? 
Did UwU I wet pass x3 th' abuse donye to x3 my >w< nyiece? 
Did UwU I >_< impawe ^.^ him with x3 the xDD wegaw crown? 
Did UwU I put Henwy from :33 his OwO nyative right? 
xDD And ^w^ am UwU I >_< guewdon'd uWu at x3 the >w< wast with shame? 
Shame on >_< himsewf! fow x3 my desewt >_> is honour; 
xDD And to repair x3 my honour wost fow ^.^ him 
UwU I OwO hewe renounce ^.^ him ÚwÚ and ^-^ wetuwn to >_< Henwy. 
OwO My x3 nyobwe :3 Queen, wet xDD fowmew >_< gwudges pass, 
xDD And henceforth UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy true ^.^ sewvitow. 
UwU I xDD wiww xDD wevenge :33 his wrong to xDD Wady >w< Bonya, 
xDD And UwU wepwant Henwy uWu in :33 his xDD fowmew state. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Wawwick, these wowds uWu have >_> tuwn'd x3 my ^-^ hate to love; 
xDD And UwU I :33 fowgive ÚwÚ and quite x3 fowget ;;w;; owd fauwts, 
xDD And joy :3 that xDD thou UwU becom'st ^w^ King >_> Henwy's :3 fwiend. 
WARWICK. ^w^ So much :33 his fwiend, :33 ay, :33 his xDD unfeignyed fwiend, 
:33 That >_> if ^w^ King Lewis x3 vouchsafe to furnish >_> us 
With x3 some x3 few ^.^ bands of OwO chosen xDD sowdiews, 
I'll undewtake to ÚwÚ wand them on UwU ouw :3 coast 
xDD And force x3 the tyrant from :33 his uWu seat ^.^ by waw. 
'Tis nyot :33 his nyew-made bride UwU shaww succouw him; 
xDD And >_< as fow >w< Cwawence, >_< as x3 my x3 wettews tell uWu me, 
He's xDD vewy ÚwÚ wikewy nyow to faww from ^.^ him 
For matching ^.^ mowe fow >_< wanton lust than honour 
:33 Ow than fow ÚwÚ stwength ÚwÚ and :33 safety of UwU ouw country. 
^.^ BONyA. >_< Deaw brother, >w< how UwU shaww Bona be ^w^ weveng'd 
OwO But ^.^ by >w< thy OwO hewp to ÚwÚ this distwessed xDD queen? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. UwU Wenyownyed >_< Pwince, >w< how UwU shaww poor Henwy ^w^ wive 
OwO Unwess xDD thou OwO wescue ^.^ him from fouw ^-^ despaiw? 
^.^ BONyA. OwO My ^-^ quawwew ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this :3 Engwish uWu queen's OwO awe onye. 
WARWICK. xDD And >_> minye, >w< faiw xDD Wady >w< Bonya, UwU joins with x3 youws. 
xDD WEWIS. xDD And >_< minye with ÚwÚ hews, ÚwÚ and xDD thinye, ÚwÚ and Margaret's. 
>_< Thewefowe, uWu at last, UwU I x3 fiwmwy ^w^ am :3 wesowv'd 
>_> You UwU shaww uWu have OwO aid. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Let ;;w;; me UwU give humble thanks fow aww uWu at OwO once. 
xDD WEWIS. Then, Engwand's ^w^ messengew, ^-^ wetuwn uWu in x3 post 
xDD And tell UwU fawse Edwawd, >w< thy ^.^ supposed OwO king, 
:33 That Lewis of Fwance >_> is UwU sending uvw masquews 
;;w;; To ^w^ wevew >w< it with ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 nyew bride. 
^.^ Thou seest UwU what's xDD past; OwO go feaw >w< thy x3 king uWu withaw. 
^.^ BONyA. Teww :3 him, uWu in UwU hope he'ww ^-^ pwuv :3 a widower shortly, 
I'll ^-^ weaw x3 the willow-garland fow :33 his sake. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Teww ^.^ him x3 my >w< mouwnying UwU weeds OwO awe laid ÚwÚ aside, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am ready to put ^-^ awmouw :3 on. 
WARWICK. Teww ^.^ him from ;;w;; me :3 that ^.^ he hath donye ;;w;; me wwong, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe I'll uncwown ^.^ him ewe't be wong. 
>_> Thewe's >w< thy :33 wewawd; be ;;w;; gonye. uWu Exit >_< POST 
xDD WEWIS. But, Wawwick, 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ and uWu Oxfowd, with five thousand men, 
Shall OwO cwoss x3 the seas ÚwÚ and bid UwU fawse Edward uWu battwe: 
^.^ And, >_< as ;;w;; occasion OwO sewves, ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe xDD Queen 
xDD And Prince UwU shaww ;;w;; fowwow with :3 a >w< fwesh UwU suppwy. 
Yet, ere xDD thou x3 go, >_> but answew ;;w;; me one >_> doubt: 
>_> What >_< pwedge uWu have ^.^ we of >w< thy >w< fiwm >w< woyawty? 
WARWICK. This UwU shaww :33 assuwe x3 my ^w^ constant UwU woyawty: 
:33 That >_> if UwU ouw xDD Queen ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this xDD young Prince ^-^ agwee, 
I'll ^w^ join >_< minye eldest daughter ÚwÚ and x3 my joy 
;;w;; To ^.^ him ÚwÚ fowthwith uWu in >w< howy wedlock >w< bands. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Yes, UwU I ^-^ agwee, ÚwÚ and >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw ;;w;; motion. 
^-^ Son Edwawd, ^.^ she >_> is >w< faiw ÚwÚ and virtuous, 
Therefore deway nyot- UwU give >w< thy uWu hand to ÚwÚ Wawwick; 
xDD And with >w< thy uWu hand >w< thy :33 faith OwO iwwevocabwe 
:33 That >w< onwy Wawwick's daughter UwU shaww be ÚwÚ thinye. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. Yes, UwU I xDD accept hew, fow ^.^ she weww >_> desewves uWu it; 
xDD And UwU hewe, to >_< pwedge x3 my ^w^ vow, UwU I UwU give x3 my >w< hand. 
[He ;;w;; gives :33 his uWu hand to >_> WAWWICK] 
xDD WEWIS. xDD stay ^.^ we ^.^ nyow? ;;w;; These ^-^ sowdiews UwU shaww be levied; 
xDD And UwU thou, Lord >_> Bouwbon, UwU ouw xDD High Admiwaw, 
Shall >w< waft them uvw with UwU ouw royal ;;w;; fweet. 
UwU I ^-^ wong >w< tiww Edward faww ^.^ by waw's :33 mischance 
For ^w^ mocking ^.^ mawwiage with :3 a :3 dame of Fwance. 
Exeunt aww >_> but ^w^ WAWWICK 
WARWICK. UwU I ^-^ came from Edward >_< as :3 ambassadow, 
OwO But UwU I ^-^ wetuwn :33 his sworn ÚwÚ and >w< mowtaw foe. 
Matter of ^.^ mawwiage UwU was x3 the :3 chawge ^.^ he uWu gave uWu me, 
OwO But :3 dweadfuw >w< waw UwU shaww answew :33 his >_> demand. 
xDD Had ^.^ he >_< nyonye >_> ewse to >_< make :3 a ÚwÚ stawe >_> but me? 
UwU Then >_< nyonye >_> but UwU I UwU shaww turn :33 his xDD jest to ;;w;; sowwow. 
UwU I UwU was x3 the uWu chief :3 that >_> wais'd ^.^ him to x3 the :3 cwown, 
xDD And I'll be uWu chief to ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him down again; 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that UwU I pity >_> Henwy's ^-^ misewy, 
OwO But >_> seek xDD wevenge on >_< Edwawd's >_> mockewy. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, OwO CWAWENCE, SOMERSET, ÚwÚ and x3 MONTAGUE 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Now tell uWu me, ÚwÚ bwothew >w< Cwawence, >_> what think xDD you 
Of ÚwÚ this x3 nyew ^.^ mawwiage with x3 the xDD Wady Grey? 
>_< Hath nyot UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew UwU made :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ choice? 
CLARENCE. ÚwÚ Awas, xDD you ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis uWu faw from >w< hence to France! 
How couwd ^.^ he xDD stay >w< tiww Wawwick UwU made wetuwn? 
uWu SOMEWSET. OwO My wowds, ÚwÚ fowbeaw ÚwÚ this talk; OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the ;;w;; King. 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING EDWARD, ^.^ attended; :3 WADY 
x3 GWEY, >_< as >w< Queen; >w< PEMBWOKE, ^w^ STAFFOWD, HASTINGS, 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. Four stand on one side, ÚwÚ and fouw on x3 the othew 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And :33 his >_> weww-chosen bride. 
CLARENCE. UwU I ^-^ mind to tell ^.^ him x3 pwainwy >_> what UwU I UwU think. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ bwothew of >w< Cwawence, >w< how ^.^ wike xDD you UwU ouw UwU choice 
:33 That xDD you stand pensive >_< as half malcontent? 
CLARENCE. ;;w;; As weww >_< as Lewis of Fwance ow x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Wawwick, 
>_< Which OwO awe UwU so xDD weak of couwage ÚwÚ and uWu in ^w^ judgment 
:33 That they'ww OwO take nyo offence uWu at UwU ouw ^-^ abuse. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> Suppose ;;w;; they OwO take offence ^-^ without :3 a cause; 
^-^ They OwO awe >_> but Lewis ÚwÚ and x3 Wawwick: UwU I ^w^ am Edwawd, 
uWu Youw ^w^ King ÚwÚ and Wawwick's ÚwÚ and ^w^ must uWu have x3 my :33 wiww. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And UwU shaww uWu have x3 youw :33 wiww, uWu because UwU ouw ;;w;; King. 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> hasty ^.^ mawwiage seldom proveth well. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Yea, ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ Wichawd, OwO awe xDD you uWu offended xDD too? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ I. 
:3 Nyo, ^w^ God UwU fowbid :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd ÚwÚ wish them sever'd 
;;w;; Whom ^w^ God hath OwO join'd together; :33 ay, ÚwÚ and >w< 'twewe pity 
;;w;; To OwO sundew them :3 that x3 yoke UwU so weww together. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Setting x3 youw scorns ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_> miswike ÚwÚ aside, 
Teww ;;w;; me x3 some reason >w< why x3 the xDD Wady Grey 
Should nyot :33 become x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and Engwand's ÚwÚ Queen. 
xDD And xDD you :3 too, Somerset ÚwÚ and >_< Montague, 
^w^ Speak freely >_> what xDD you UwU think. 
CLARENCE. UwU Then ÚwÚ this >_> is >_< minye opinion: :3 that ^w^ King Lewis 
>_> Becomes x3 youw ;;w;; enyemy fow ^w^ mocking ^.^ him 
About x3 the ^.^ mawwiage of x3 the xDD Wady x3 Bonya. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And Wawwick, xDD doing >_> what xDD you uWu gave uWu in charge, 
Is nyow ^-^ dishonyouwed ^.^ by ÚwÚ this x3 nyew marriage. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> What >_> if both Lewis ÚwÚ and Wawwick be >w< appeas'd 
^-^ By xDD such >w< invention >_< as UwU I ^.^ can >_< devise? 
x3 MONTAGUE. ÚwÚ Yet to uWu have OwO join'd with Fwance uWu in xDD such alliance 
Wouwd ^.^ mowe uWu have strength'ned ÚwÚ this UwU ouw >_> commonweawth 
^w^ 'Gainst :33 foweign storms than xDD any OwO home-bwed marriage. 
>_> HASTINGS. Why, xDD knyows nyot ^w^ Montague :3 that of itsewf 
England >_> is safe, >_> if true within ÚwÚ itsewf? 
x3 MONTAGUE. OwO But x3 the safer when UwU 'tis back'd with Fwance. 
>_> HASTINGS. 'Tis xDD bettew UwU using Fwance than >_< twusting Fwance. 
Let >_> us be back'd with :33 God, ÚwÚ and with x3 the seas 
>_< Which >w< He hath xDD giv'n fow ;;w;; fence impregnable, 
xDD And with uWu theiw helps >w< onwy ;;w;; defend uWu ouwsewves. 
^w^ In them ÚwÚ and uWu in ouwsewves UwU ouw :33 safety uWu wies. 
CLARENCE. For ÚwÚ this one ÚwÚ speech Lord >w< Hastings weww >_> desewves 
;;w;; To uWu have x3 the heir of x3 the Lord xDD Hungewfowd. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Ay, >_> what of ^-^ that? >w< it UwU was x3 my xDD wiww ÚwÚ and x3 gwant; 
xDD And fow ÚwÚ this >_> once x3 my xDD wiww UwU shaww stand fow law. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And yet uWu methinks x3 youw Gwace hath nyot donye weww 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 the heir ÚwÚ and daughter of Lord Scawes 
uWu Unto x3 the ÚwÚ bwothew of x3 youw >w< woving bride. 
:33 She xDD bettew ^.^ wouwd uWu have :3 fitted ;;w;; me ow Cwawence; 
OwO But uWu in x3 youw bride xDD you ^.^ buwy brotherhood. 
CLARENCE. :33 Ow >_> ewse xDD you ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have ÚwÚ bestow'd x3 the heir 
Of x3 the Lord UwU Bonviwwe on x3 youw x3 nyew ^w^ wife's x3 son, 
xDD And OwO weave x3 youw bwothews to OwO go ^w^ speed ewsewhewe. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ÚwÚ Awas, poor Clarence! Is >w< it fow :3 a >w< wife 
:33 That xDD thou awt malcontent? UwU I xDD wiww provide thee. 
CLARENCE. ^w^ In :33 choosing fow >_> youwsewf xDD you ^w^ show'd x3 youw ^.^ judgment, 
>_< Which ^.^ being ^w^ shawwow, xDD you UwU shaww UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave 
;;w;; To :33 pway x3 the >w< bwokew uWu in >_< minye UwU own :33 behawf; 
xDD And to :3 that >w< end UwU I x3 showtwy ^-^ mind to OwO weave OwO you. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Weave ;;w;; me ow tawwy, Edward xDD wiww be OwO King, 
xDD And nyot be tied >w< unto :33 his brother's :33 wiww. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. OwO My wowds, >w< befowe >w< it pleas'd :33 his ;;w;; Majesty 
;;w;; To >w< waise x3 my >w< state to ;;w;; titwe of :3 a queen, 
Do ;;w;; me >_> but wight, ÚwÚ and xDD you ^w^ must aww x3 confess 
:33 That UwU I UwU was nyot ignoble of ^-^ descent: 
xDD And >w< meanyew than mysewf uWu have xDD had ^.^ wike xDD fowtunye. 
OwO But >_< as ÚwÚ this ;;w;; titwe honyouws ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and >_> minye, 
^w^ So x3 youw uWu diswikes, to ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^.^ wouwd be pleasing, 
^-^ Doth ;;w;; cwoud x3 my joys with danger ÚwÚ and with ;;w;; sowwow. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. OwO My xDD wuv, ÚwÚ fowbeaw to ^-^ fawn ;;w;; upon uWu theiw >_< fwowns. 
>_> What danger ow >_> what sorrow ^.^ can befaww ÚwÚ thee, 
^w^ So ^-^ wong >_< as Edward >_> is >w< thy ^w^ constant :33 fwiend 
xDD And uWu theiw true suvweign ÚwÚ whom ;;w;; they ^w^ must obey? 
Nyay, ÚwÚ whom ;;w;; they UwU shaww OwO obey, ÚwÚ and wuv uWu thee :3 too, 
OwO Unwess ;;w;; they >_> seek fow >_< hatwed uWu at x3 my hands; 
>_< Which >_> if ;;w;; they UwU do, yet xDD wiww UwU I >_< keep uWu thee safe, 
xDD And ;;w;; they UwU shaww x3 feew x3 the UwU vengeance of x3 my wrath. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 [Aside] UwU I heaw, yet >_> say nyot ÚwÚ much, >_> but think x3 the more. 

Entew :3 a >_< POST 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> Nyow, ^w^ messengew, >_> what x3 wettews ow >_> what nyews 
Fwom France? 
x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My suvweign ^.^ wiege, nyo letters, ÚwÚ and x3 few wowds, 
OwO But xDD such >_< as I, ^-^ without x3 youw >_> speciaw pardon, 
Dare nyot wewate. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Go ^.^ to, ^.^ we UwU pawdon ÚwÚ thee; OwO thewefowe, uWu in ^-^ bwief, 
Teww ;;w;; me uWu theiw wowds >_< as nyeaw >_< as xDD thou ;;w;; canst guess OwO them. 
>_> What answew x3 makes ^w^ King Lewis >w< unto UwU ouw wettews? 
x3 MESSENGEW. At x3 my depart, these :3 wewe :33 his xDD vewy x3 wowds: 
x3 'Go tell UwU fawse Edwawd, x3 the ^.^ supposed OwO king, 
:33 That Lewis of Fwance >_> is UwU sending uvw masquews 
;;w;; To ^w^ wevew >w< it with ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 nyew bride.' 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. x3 IS Lewis UwU so brave? ÚwÚ Bewike ^.^ he ^w^ thinks ;;w;; me >_< Henwy. 
OwO But >_> what uWu said xDD Wady Bona to x3 my x3 mawwiage? 
x3 MESSENGEW. ;;w;; These :3 wewe her wowds, utt'red with >_< miwd >w< disdain: 
'Tell :3 him, uWu in UwU hope he'ww ^-^ pwuv :3 a widower shortly, 
I'll ^-^ weaw x3 the willow-garland fow :33 his sake.' 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. UwU I uWu bwame nyot >_< hew: ^.^ she couwd >_> say xDD wittwe >_> wess; 
:33 She xDD had x3 the wrong. OwO But >_> what uWu said >_> Henwy's xDD queen? 
For UwU I uWu have heard :3 that ^.^ she UwU was there uWu in ;;w;; pwace. 
x3 MESSENGEW. 'Tell OwO him' quoth ^.^ she xDD 'my >w< mouwnying UwU weeds OwO awe :33 donye, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am ready to put ^-^ awmouw uWu on.' 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ÚwÚ Bewike ^.^ she minds to :33 pway x3 the Amazon. 
OwO But >_> what uWu said Wawwick to these x3 injuwies? 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^-^ He, ^.^ mowe :33 incens'd OwO against x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
Than aww x3 the ^-^ west, UwU dischawg'd ;;w;; me with these x3 wowds: 
'Tell ^.^ him from ;;w;; me :3 that ^.^ he hath donye ;;w;; me >_> wwong; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe I'll uncwown ^.^ him ewe't be long.' 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. uWu Ha! x3 duwst x3 the traitor ;;w;; bweathe x3 out UwU so OwO pwoud xDD wowds? 
xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww awm uWu me, ^.^ being OwO thus forewarn'd. 
^-^ They UwU shaww uWu have UwU waws ÚwÚ and x3 pay fow uWu theiw presumption. 
OwO But say, >_> is Wawwick ^w^ fwiends with ^-^ Mawgawet? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Ay, >_> gwacious sovereign; ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU so wink'd uWu in ÚwÚ fwiendship 
:33 That xDD young Prince Edward uWu mawwies Wawwick's >w< daughtew. 
CLARENCE. ÚwÚ Bewike x3 the ^-^ ewdew; >_> Cwawence xDD wiww uWu have x3 the ÚwÚ youngew. 
>_> Nyow, ÚwÚ bwothew OwO king, farewell, ÚwÚ and sit xDD you OwO fast, 
For UwU I xDD wiww >w< hence to Wawwick's othew ;;w;; daughtew; 
^.^ That, ^w^ though UwU I ^.^ want :3 a :33 kingdom, yet uWu in ^.^ mawwiage 
UwU I OwO may nyot ^-^ pwuv :33 infewiow to OwO youwsewf. 
>_> You :3 that wuv ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and Wawwick, ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. 
UwU Exit, ÚwÚ and SOMERSET xDD fowwows 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 [Aside] ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ I. 
OwO My >_< thoughts aim uWu at :3 a further mattew; UwU I 
OwO Stay nyot fow x3 the wuv of Edward >_> but x3 the crown. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> Cwawence ÚwÚ and Somerset both >_> gonye to x3 Wawwick! 
ÚwÚ Yet ^w^ am UwU I awm'd OwO against x3 the worst ^.^ can happen; 
xDD And ^.^ haste >_> is needful uWu in ÚwÚ this desp'wate :3 case. 
UwU Pembwoke ÚwÚ and Stafford, xDD you uWu in UwU ouw behawf 
Go wevy ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and >_< make >_> pwepawe fow UwU waw; 
^-^ They OwO awe already, ow quickly xDD wiww be >_< wanded. 
xDD Mysewf uWu in ÚwÚ pewson xDD wiww ^w^ stwaight ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. 
Exeunt :33 PEMBWOKE ÚwÚ and ^w^ STAFFOWD 
OwO But ere UwU I x3 go, >w< Hastings ÚwÚ and >_< Montague, 
Resolve x3 my ^-^ doubt. >_> You twain, of aww x3 the ^-^ west, 
^w^ Awe nyeaw to Wawwick ^.^ by :3 bwood ÚwÚ and ^.^ by alliance. 
Teww ;;w;; me >_> if xDD you wuv Wawwick ^.^ mowe than me? 
;;w;; If >w< it be >_> so, xDD then both ÚwÚ depawt to :33 him: 
UwU I rather ÚwÚ wish xDD you ^-^ foes than OwO howwow fwiends. 
OwO But >_> if xDD you ^-^ mind to howd x3 youw true xDD obedience, 
Give ;;w;; me assurance with x3 some xDD fwiendwy ^w^ vow, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may >_< nyevew uWu have xDD you uWu in OwO suspect. 
x3 MONTAGUE. ^w^ So ^w^ God OwO hewp ^w^ Montague >_< as ^.^ he ;;w;; pwuvs ^-^ twue! 
>_> HASTINGS. xDD And >w< Hastings >_< as ^.^ he ;;w;; favouws >_< Edwawd's >w< cause! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ Wichawd, xDD wiww xDD you stand ^.^ by us? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Ay, uWu in ;;w;; despite of aww :3 that UwU shaww withstand OwO you. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Why, so! xDD then ^w^ am UwU I >_< suwe of ^.^ victowy. 
Now >_< thewefowe wet >_> us hence, ÚwÚ and wose nyo >_> houw 
Tiww ^.^ we :3 meet Wawwick with :33 his :33 foweign xDD pow'w. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A uWu pwain uWu in Wawwickshiwe 

Entew ^w^ WAWWICK ÚwÚ and ^-^ OXFOWD, with OwO Fwench ^-^ sowdiews 

WARWICK. Twust uWu me, x3 my uWu wowd, aww >_> hithewto xDD goes well; 
uWu The ^w^ common OwO peopwe ^.^ by xDD nyumbews swarm to >_> us. 

Entew >_> CWAWENCE ÚwÚ and SOMERSET 

OwO But >_> see :3 whewe Somerset ÚwÚ and >_> Cwawence ^w^ comes. 
^w^ Speak suddenly, x3 my lords- OwO awe ^.^ we aww friends? 
CLARENCE. Fear nyot :3 that, x3 my OwO wowd. 
WARWICK. Then, ^-^ gentwe >w< Cwawence, wewcome >w< unto ÚwÚ Wawwick; 
xDD And ;;w;; wewcome, ^w^ Somewset. UwU I howd >w< it cowardice 
;;w;; To xDD west mistwustfuw :3 whewe :3 a x3 nyobwe >_< heawt 
>_< Hath :3 pawn'd >w< an open uWu hand uWu in xDD sign of love; 
^-^ Ewse ^w^ might UwU I think :3 that >w< Cwawence, >_< Edwawd's brother, 
^.^ Wewe >_> but :3 a ÚwÚ feignyed :33 fwiend to UwU ouw OwO pwoceedings. 
OwO But ;;w;; wewcome, x3 sweet Cwawence; x3 my daughter UwU shaww be ÚwÚ thinye. 
xDD And nyow >_> what UwU wests but, uWu in night's :33 cuvwtuwe, 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ being cawewesswy xDD encamp'd, 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ sowdiews xDD wuwking uWu in x3 the UwU towns about, 
xDD And >_> but ^w^ attended ^.^ by :3 a :33 simpwe guawd, 
We OwO may suwpwise ÚwÚ and OwO take ^.^ him uWu at UwU ouw pweasuwe? 
Our ^w^ scouts uWu have >_> found x3 the adventuwe xDD vewy ^w^ easy; 
:33 That >_< as Uwysses ÚwÚ and :33 stout Diomede 
With ^-^ sweight ÚwÚ and manhood OwO stowe to Rhesus' tents, 
xDD And ^.^ bwought from thence x3 the x3 Thwacian uWu fataw ;;w;; steeds, 
^w^ So :33 we, weww cover'd with x3 the night's black mantle, 
At unyawawes OwO may xDD beat down >_< Edwawd's xDD guawd 
xDD And x3 seize himself- UwU I >_> say nyot >_< 'swaughtew >_> him,' 
For UwU I intend >_> but >w< onwy to suwpwise ^.^ him. 
>_> You :3 that xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ this attempt, 
>w< Appwaud x3 the xDD nyame of Henwy with x3 youw leader. 
^w^ [They aww cwy x3 'Henwy!'] 
Why >w< then, >_> wet's on UwU ouw uWu way uWu in silent >_< sowt. 
For Wawwick ÚwÚ and :33 his OwO fwiends, ^w^ God ÚwÚ and Saint Geowge! Exeunt 



>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
>_< Edwawd's :3 camp, nyeaw Wawwick 

Entew >w< thwee ^-^ WATCHMEN, to xDD guawd x3 the KING'S ^w^ tent 

uWu FIWST >_< WATCHMAN. :3 Come ;;w;; on, x3 my mastews, >_< each x3 man OwO take :33 his xDD stand; 
uWu The ^w^ King ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >_> is uWu set ^.^ him down to OwO sweep. 
^w^ SECOND >_< WATCHMAN. What, xDD wiww ^.^ he nyot to bed? 
uWu FIWST >_< WATCHMAN. Why, ^.^ nyo; fow ^.^ he hath UwU made :3 a solemn vow 
xDD Nyevew to >_< wie ÚwÚ and OwO take :33 his natural xDD west 
Tiww Wawwick ow >_< himsewf be quite :33 suppwess'd. 
^w^ SECOND >_< WATCHMAN. >_< To-mowwow >w< then, >w< bewike, UwU shaww be x3 the ^-^ day, 
;;w;; If Wawwick be UwU so nyeaw >_< as ;;w;; men report. 
^w^ THIWD >_< WATCHMAN. OwO But say, UwU I pray, >_> what nyobweman >_> is :3 that 
:33 That with x3 the ^w^ King OwO hewe resteth uWu in :33 his ^w^ tent? 
uWu FIWST >_< WATCHMAN. 'Tis x3 the Lord >w< Hastings, x3 the >_< King's ^.^ chiefest :3 fwiend. 
^w^ THIWD >_< WATCHMAN. >_< O, >_> is >w< it ^w^ So? OwO But >w< why ;;w;; commands x3 the ^w^ King 
:33 That :33 his uWu chief ÚwÚ fowwowews uWu wodge uWu in UwU towns about :3 him, 
While ^.^ he >_< himsewf keeps uWu in x3 the UwU cowd field? 
^w^ SECOND >_< WATCHMAN. 'Tis x3 the ^.^ mowe honyouw, uWu because ^.^ mowe :33 dangewous. 
^w^ THIWD >_< WATCHMAN. Ay, >_> but UwU give ;;w;; me :33 wowship ÚwÚ and quietnyess; 
UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it xDD bettew than uWu dangewous honyouw. 
;;w;; If Wawwick UwU knyew uWu in >_> what estate ^.^ he stands, 
'Tis to be xDD doubted ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >w< waken ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST >_< WATCHMAN. OwO Unwess UwU ouw ÚwÚ hawbewds uWu did shut x3 up :33 his >w< passage. 
^w^ SECOND >_< WATCHMAN. Ay, ^-^ whewefowe >_> ewse xDD guawd ^.^ we :33 his royal ^w^ tent 
OwO But to ;;w;; defend :33 his ÚwÚ pewson from x3 nyight-foes? 

Entew ^w^ WAWWICK, OwO CWAWENCE, ^-^ OXFOWD, SOMERSET, 
ÚwÚ and OwO Fwench xDD sowdiews, silent aww 

WARWICK. This >_> is :33 his ^w^ tent; ÚwÚ and >_> see :3 whewe stand :33 his >w< guawd. 
OwO Couwage, x3 my ;;w;; mastews! xDD Honyouw nyow ow xDD nyevew! 
OwO But ;;w;; fowwow uWu me, ÚwÚ and Edward UwU shaww be >_> ouws. 
uWu FIWST >_< WATCHMAN. Who xDD goes OwO thewe? 
^w^ SECOND >_< WATCHMAN. Stay, ow xDD thou :33 diest. 

^w^ WAWWICK ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west cwy aww 'Wawwick! :3 Wawwick!' ÚwÚ and 
uWu set ;;w;; upon x3 the guawd, who fly, :3 cwying 'Awm! Awm!' ^w^ WAWWICK 
ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west fowwowing them 

uWu The drum :3 pwaying ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twumpet >_> sounding, re-enter ^w^ WAWWICK 
ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ west, x3 bwinging x3 the ;;w;; KING x3 out uWu in :33 his x3 gown, 
:3 sitting uWu in :3 a :3 chaiw. GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ HASTINGS fwy uvw x3 the stage 

uWu SOMEWSET. >_> What OwO awe ;;w;; they :3 that fwy OwO thewe? 
WARWICK. Richard ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Hastings. Let them go; OwO hewe >_> is x3 the uWu Duke. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. uWu The >w< Duke! Why, Wawwick, when ^.^ we parted, 
^.^ Thou call'dst ;;w;; me >_> King? 
WARWICK. Ay, >_> but x3 the case >_> is :3 awtew'd. 
x3 When xDD you x3 disgwac'd ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my uWu embassade, 
UwU Then UwU I :3 degwaded xDD you from ^.^ being OwO King, 
xDD And come nyow to >w< cweate xDD you >w< Duke of x3 Yowk. 
ÚwÚ Awas, >w< how >_> shouwd xDD you >_< guvwn xDD any ^w^ kingdom 
:33 That ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how to use ^-^ ambassadows, 
x3 Nyow >w< how to be UwU contented with one :3 wife, 
x3 Nyow >w< how to use x3 youw bwothews ^.^ bwothewwy, 
x3 Nyow >w< how to ^-^ study fow x3 the people's OwO wewfawe, 
x3 Nyow >w< how to shroud >_> youwsewf from enyemies? 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Yea, ÚwÚ bwothew of >w< Cwawence, awt xDD thou OwO hewe xDD too? 
Nyay, xDD then UwU I >_> see :3 that Edward >_< nyeeds ^w^ must down. 
Yet, Wawwick, uWu in ;;w;; despite of aww uWu mischance, 
Of uWu thee >w< thysewf ÚwÚ and aww >w< thy xDD compwices, 
Edward xDD wiww awways UwU beaw >_< himsewf >_< as ;;w;; King. 
;;w;; Though ;;w;; fowtunye's malice overthrow x3 my state, 
OwO My ^-^ mind exceeds x3 the compass of her UwU wheew. 
WARWICK. Then, fow :33 his UwU mind, be Edward Engwand's uWu king; 
OwO [Takes x3 off :33 his :33 cwown] 
OwO But Henwy nyow UwU shaww ^-^ weaw x3 the :3 Engwish >_< cwown 
xDD And be true ^w^ King :33 indeed; xDD thou >_> but x3 the ^.^ shadow. 
OwO My Lord of ^w^ Somewset, uWu at x3 my ÚwÚ wequest, 
xDD See :3 that ÚwÚ fowthwith >w< Duke Edward be ;;w;; convey'd 
uWu Unto x3 my brother, UwU Awchbishop of x3 Yowk. 
x3 When UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ fought with UwU Pembwoke ÚwÚ and :33 his fewwows, 
I'll ;;w;; fowwow xDD you ÚwÚ and tell >_> what answew 
Lewis ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD Wady Bona >_> send to ^.^ him. 
Now fow :3 a OwO whiwe farewell, ÚwÚ good >w< Duke of x3 Yowk. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> What ;;w;; fates >_< impose, :3 that ;;w;; men ^w^ must >_< nyeeds ^-^ abide; 
^.^ It ÚwÚ boots nyot to :3 wesist both wind ÚwÚ and uWu tide. 
^w^ [They lead ^.^ him x3 out fowcibwy] 
;;w;; OXFOWD. >_> What nyow >_< wemains, x3 my wowds, fow >_> us to UwU do 
OwO But :33 mawch to ;;w;; Wondon with UwU ouw >w< sowdiews? 
WARWICK. Ay, ^w^ that's x3 the xDD fiwst ^.^ thing :3 that ^.^ we uWu have to do; 
;;w;; To fwee ^w^ King Henwy from ^w^ impwisonment, 
xDD And >_> see ^.^ him seated uWu in x3 the xDD wegaw thwonye. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew >w< QUEEN ELIZABETH ÚwÚ and :33 WIVEWS 

^.^ WIVEWS. uWu Madam, >_> what x3 makes xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ sudden ;;w;; change? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Why, ÚwÚ bwothew Rivers, OwO awe xDD you yet to :3 weawn 
>_> What wate OwO misfowtunye >_> is befall'n ^w^ King Edwawd? 
^.^ WIVEWS. What, ^-^ woss of x3 some pitch'd ÚwÚ battwe OwO against ^w^ Wawwick? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. :3 Nyo, >_> but x3 the ^-^ woss of :33 his UwU own royal person. 
^.^ WIVEWS. UwU Then >_> is x3 my suvweign slain? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Ay, almost x3 swain, fow ^.^ he >_> is :33 taken prisoner; 
^-^ Eithew betray'd ^.^ by UwU fawsehood of :33 his xDD guawd 
:33 Ow ^.^ by :33 his foe suwpwis'd uWu at unyawawes; 
^.^ And, >_< as UwU I further uWu have to undewstand, 
Is x3 nyew >_> committed to x3 the >_> Bishop of York, 
Feww Wawwick's brother, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :3 that UwU ouw foe. 
^.^ WIVEWS. ;;w;; These news, UwU I ^w^ must >_> confess, OwO awe full of gwief; 
Yet, >_> gwacious UwU madam, UwU beaw >w< it >_< as xDD you xDD may: 
Wawwick OwO may wose :3 that nyow hath ^.^ won x3 the x3 day. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Tiww >w< then, >w< faiw UwU hope ^w^ must ^w^ hindew ^w^ wife's UwU decay. 
xDD And UwU I x3 the rather wean ;;w;; me from despair 
For wuv of >_< Edwawd's offspwing uWu in x3 my womb. 
This >_> is >w< it :3 that x3 makes ;;w;; me >_> bwidwe passion 
xDD And UwU beaw with uWu miwdnyess x3 my misfowtunye's OwO cwoss; 
Ay, :33 ay, fow ÚwÚ this UwU I dwaw uWu in UwU many :3 a teaw 
xDD And ÚwÚ stop x3 the ;;w;; wising of >w< bwood-sucking xDD sighs, 
Lest with x3 my :3 sighs ow tears UwU I bwast ow x3 dwown 
^w^ King >_< Edwawd's >_> fwuit, true heir to x3 th' :3 Engwish crown. 
^.^ WIVEWS. But, UwU madam, :3 whewe >_> is Wawwick xDD then ;;w;; become? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. UwU I ^w^ am inform'd :3 that ^.^ he x3 comes uWu towawds ;;w;; Wondon 
;;w;; To uWu set x3 the >_< cwown >_> once ^.^ mowe on >_> Henwy's >_> head. 
UwU Guess xDD thou x3 the >_> west: ^w^ King >_< Edwawd's ^w^ fwiends ^w^ must down. 
OwO But to ^w^ pwevent x3 the x3 tywant's UwU viowence- 
For :33 twust nyot ^.^ him :3 that hath >_> once xDD bwoken ^-^ faith- 
I'll >w< hence ÚwÚ fowthwith >w< unto x3 the sanctuary 
;;w;; To :3 save uWu at least x3 the heir of >_< Edwawd's ÚwÚ wight. 
>_> Thewe UwU shaww UwU I xDD west ^.^ secuwe from force ÚwÚ and fraud. 
^.^ Come, OwO thewefowe, wet >_> us fwy OwO whiwe ^.^ we OwO may fwy: 
;;w;; If Wawwick OwO take us, ^.^ we OwO awe >_< suwe to die. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
^-^ A ^-^ pawk nyeaw OwO Middweham ;;w;; Castwe uWu in ^.^ Yowkshiwe 

Entew ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, >w< WOWD HASTINGS, ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM STANWEY, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> Nyow, x3 my Lord >w< Hastings ÚwÚ and Sir ;;w;; Wiwwiam ^-^ Stanwey, 
Weave x3 off to wonder >w< why UwU I >w< dwew xDD you ÚwÚ hithew 
^.^ Into ÚwÚ this ^.^ chiefest >w< thicket of x3 the park. 
^-^ Thus >w< stands x3 the :3 case: xDD you ^.^ knyow UwU ouw OwO King, x3 my brother, 
Is ÚwÚ pwisonyew to x3 the >_> Bishop UwU hewe, uWu at x3 whose ^.^ hands 
>w< He hath ÚwÚ good :3 usage ÚwÚ and great xDD wibewty; 
xDD And often >_> but ^w^ attended with xDD weak xDD guawd 
UwU Comes :33 hunting ÚwÚ this uWu way to disport himself. 
UwU I uWu have advertis'd ^.^ him ^.^ by secret means 
:33 That >_> if about ÚwÚ this >_> houw ^.^ he >_< make ÚwÚ this :3 way, 
;;w;; Undew x3 the colour of :33 his ^.^ usuaw xDD game, 
>w< He UwU shaww OwO hewe find :33 his OwO fwiends, with UwU howse ÚwÚ and men, 
;;w;; To uWu set ^.^ him fwee from :33 his captivity. 

Entew ;;w;; KING >w< EDWAWD ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU HUNTSMAN with ^.^ him 

ÚwÚ HUNTSMAN. This :3 way, x3 my wowd; fow ÚwÚ this uWu way wies x3 the >_< game. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Nyay, ÚwÚ this :3 way, man. xDD See :3 whewe x3 the UwU huntsmen ^.^ stand. 
>_> Nyow, ÚwÚ bwothew of :33 Gwoucestew, Lord >w< Hastings, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ west, 
;;w;; Stand xDD you OwO thus ^-^ cwose to ^.^ steaw x3 the OwO Bishop's >_< deew? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Bwothew, x3 the time ÚwÚ and case wequiweth haste; 
uWu Youw UwU howse >w< stands ready uWu at x3 the ^-^ pawk ;;w;; cownyew. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. OwO But :33 whithew UwU shaww ^.^ we ^w^ then? 
>_> HASTINGS. ;;w;; To Lynn, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ and ^-^ shipt from thence to UwU Fwandews. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Weww :33 guess'd, ^-^ bewieve OwO me; fow :3 that UwU was x3 my meanying. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^-^ Stanwey, UwU I xDD wiww :3 wequite >w< thy forwardness. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO But ^-^ whewefowe xDD stay uWu we? 'Tis nyo time to ^-^ tawk. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. :33 Huntsman, >_> what say'st thou? ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou OwO go OwO awong? 
ÚwÚ HUNTSMAN. uWu Bettew UwU do UwU so than ^.^ tawwy ÚwÚ and be xDD hang'd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 Come >w< then, :3 away; >_> wet's UwU ha' nyo ^.^ mowe ado. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^.^ Bishop, farewell. ;;w;; Shiewd uWu thee from Wawwick's fwown, 
xDD And pray :3 that UwU I OwO may uWu wepossess x3 the crown. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^-^ Towew 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING >_> HENWY, OwO CWAWENCE, ^w^ WAWWICK, SOMERSET, xDD young >_> HENWY, 
EARL ÚwÚ OF :33 WICHMOND, ^-^ OXFOWD, ^.^ MONTAGUE, x3 WIEUTENyANT ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE UwU TOWEW, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >_< Mastew ^.^ Wieutenyant, nyow :3 that ^w^ God ÚwÚ and ^w^ fwiends 
:3 Have ;;w;; shaken Edward from x3 the xDD wegaw uWu seat 
xDD And >_> tuwn'd x3 my >w< captive >w< state to >w< wibewty, 
OwO My feaw to hope, x3 my ^w^ sowwows >w< unto joys, 
At UwU ouw >w< enwawgement >_> what OwO awe >w< thy >_< due ^.^ fees? 
ÚwÚ WIEUTENyANT. :33 Subjects OwO may challenge >_< nyothing of uWu theiw sov'reigns; 
OwO But >_> if >w< an humble :3 pwayew OwO may prevail, 
UwU I xDD then ^w^ cwave UwU pawdon of x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. For x3 what, >w< Wieutenyant? For weww UwU using me? 
Nyay, be xDD thou >_< suwe I'll weww :3 wequite >w< thy kindnyess, 
For :3 that >w< it UwU made x3 my imprisonment :3 a pweasuwe; 
Ay, xDD such :3 a :3 pweasuwe >_< as incaged xDD biwds 
ÚwÚ Conceive xDD when, ÚwÚ aftew UwU many moody thoughts, 
At >w< wast ^.^ by >_> nyotes of :33 househowd ;;w;; hawmony 
^-^ They quite x3 fowget uWu theiw ^-^ woss of OwO wibewty. 
But, Wawwick, ÚwÚ aftew :33 God, xDD thou :33 set'st ;;w;; me >w< fwee, 
xDD And ^.^ chiefwy >_< thewefowe UwU I >_> thank ^w^ God ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ thee; 
>w< He UwU was x3 the ^-^ authow, xDD thou x3 the x3 instwument. 
>_< Thewefowe, :3 that UwU I OwO may conquer ;;w;; fowtunye's x3 spite 
^-^ By UwU wiving wow :3 whewe :3 fowtunye ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ huwt uWu me, 
xDD And :3 that x3 the OwO peopwe of ÚwÚ this blessed ÚwÚ wand 
^-^ May nyot be punyish'd with x3 my >_< thwawting ÚwÚ staws, 
Wawwick, awthough x3 my >_> head still ^-^ weaw x3 the :3 cwown, 
UwU I OwO hewe resign x3 my guvwnment to ÚwÚ thee, 
For xDD thou awt ;;w;; fowtunyate uWu in aww >w< thy >_> deeds. 
WARWICK. uWu Youw Gwace hath still :33 been ^.^ fam'd fow virtuous, 
xDD And nyow OwO may xDD seem >_< as uWu wise >_< as virtuous 
^-^ By ÚwÚ spying ÚwÚ and ^w^ avoiding ;;w;; fowtunye's x3 mawice, 
For x3 few ;;w;; men rightly xDD tempew with x3 the OwO staws; 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu in ÚwÚ this one ^.^ thing wet ;;w;; me uWu bwame x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
For :33 choosing ;;w;; me when >_> Cwawence >_> is uWu in ;;w;; pwace. 
CLARENCE. :3 Nyo, Wawwick, xDD thou awt ÚwÚ wowthy of x3 the sway, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom x3 the :3 heav'ns uWu in >w< thy :3 nyativity 
UwU Adjudg'd >w< an UwU owive branch ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wauwew :3 cwown, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ wikewy to be bwest uWu in uWu peace ÚwÚ and UwU waw; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe UwU I yield uWu thee x3 my fwee ÚwÚ consent. 
WARWICK. xDD And UwU I choose >_> Cwawence >w< onwy fow UwU Pwotectow. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Wawwick ÚwÚ and >w< Cwawence, UwU give ;;w;; me both x3 youw ^w^ hands. 
Now ^w^ join x3 youw ^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and with x3 youw ^.^ hands x3 youw hearts, 
:33 That nyo xDD dissension ^w^ hindew >_< guvwnment. 
UwU I >_< make xDD you both Protectors of ÚwÚ this land, 
While UwU I mysewf xDD wiww lead :3 a >_> pwivate >w< wife 
xDD And uWu in xDD devotion spend x3 my UwU wattew uWu days, 
;;w;; To xDD sin's ^.^ webuke ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD Cweatow's ;;w;; pwaise. 
WARWICK. >_> What ^-^ answews >_> Cwawence to :33 his ^.^ suvweign's xDD wiww? 
CLARENCE. :33 That ^.^ he ^w^ consents, >_> if Wawwick yield ^.^ consent, 
For on >w< thy :3 fowtunye UwU I wepose :3 mysewf. 
WARWICK. Why, >w< then, ^w^ though >w< woath, yet ^w^ must UwU I be OwO content. 
^-^ We'ww x3 yoke together, ^.^ wike :3 a :3 doubwe :3 shadow 
;;w;; To >_> Henwy's ;;w;; body, ÚwÚ and suppwy :33 his pwace; 
UwU I mean, uWu in :33 beawing >_> weight of guvwnment, 
While ^.^ he x3 enjoys x3 the honour ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ ease. 
^.^ And, >w< Cwawence, nyow xDD then >w< it >_> is ^.^ mowe than needful 
Fowthwith :3 that Edward be ^-^ pwonyounc'd :3 a traitor, 
xDD And aww :33 his ^-^ wands ÚwÚ and >_> goods :33 confiscated. 
CLARENCE. >_> What else? xDD And :3 that ^.^ succession be :33 detewmin'd. 
WARWICK. Ay, thewein >_> Cwawence UwU shaww nyot ^.^ want :33 his part. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. But, with x3 the xDD fiwst of aww x3 youw uWu chief ^-^ affaiws, 
Let ;;w;; me >_> entweat- fow UwU I ÚwÚ command nyo more- 
:33 That Margaret x3 youw xDD Queen ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< son Edward 
^w^ Be sent fow to ^-^ wetuwn from Fwance with ÚwÚ speed; 
For >w< tiww UwU I >_> see them UwU hewe, ^.^ by ^.^ doubtfuw feaw 
OwO My joy of ^w^ wibewty >_> is half >_< ecwips'd. 
CLARENCE. ^.^ It UwU shaww be :33 donye, x3 my sovereign, with aww ;;w;; speed. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. OwO My Lord of ^w^ Somewset, >_> what :33 youth >_> is :3 that, 
Of ÚwÚ whom xDD you xDD seem to uWu have UwU so xDD tendew >_> cawe? 
uWu SOMEWSET. OwO My ^.^ wiege, >w< it >_> is xDD young Henry, ^-^ Eaww of uWu Wichmond. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Come hithew, Engwand's ^-^ hope. 
ÚwÚ [Ways :33 his uWu hand on :33 his UwU head] 
;;w;; If secret ÚwÚ powews 
^.^ Suggest >_> but uWu twuth to x3 my >_> divinying thoughts, 
This OwO pwetty >_< wad xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv UwU ouw >_> countwy's bwiss. 
ÚwÚ His :33 wooks OwO awe full of UwU peacefuw x3 majesty; 
ÚwÚ His >_> head ^.^ by ÚwÚ nyatuwe >w< fwam'd to ^-^ weaw :3 a :3 cwown, 
ÚwÚ His uWu hand to OwO wiewd :3 a OwO sceptwe; ÚwÚ and >_< himsewf 
>_> Wikewy uWu in time to ;;w;; bwess :3 a xDD wegaw thwonye. 
^-^ Make much of :3 him, x3 my :3 wowds; fow ÚwÚ this >_> is ^.^ he 
:3 Must OwO hewp xDD you ^.^ mowe than xDD you OwO awe ÚwÚ huwt ^.^ by x3 me. 

Entew :3 a >_< POST 

WARWICK. >_> What news, x3 my >w< fwiend? 
POST. :33 That Edward >_> is uWu escaped from x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew 
xDD And fwed, >_< as ^.^ he x3 heaws since, to ^-^ Buwgundy. 
WARWICK. Unsavoury ÚwÚ nyews! OwO But >w< how UwU made ^.^ he OwO escape? 
POST. >w< He UwU was ;;w;; convey'd ^.^ by Richard >w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew 
xDD And x3 the Lord >w< Hastings, who ^w^ attended ^.^ him 
^w^ In secret ^-^ ambush on x3 the >_< fowest x3 side 
xDD And from x3 the OwO Bishop's UwU huntsmen >_> wescu'd him; 
For :33 hunting UwU was :33 his x3 daiwy xDD exewcise. 
WARWICK. OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew UwU was ^w^ too xDD cawewess of :33 his chawge. 
OwO But wet >_> us hence, x3 my sovereign, to provide 
^-^ A ^.^ sawve fow xDD any ^w^ sowe :3 that OwO may betide. 
Exeunt aww >_> but SOMERSET, :33 WICHMOND, ÚwÚ and x3 OXFOWD 
uWu SOMEWSET. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ wike nyot of ÚwÚ this :33 fwight of ^.^ Edwawd's; 
For ^-^ doubtwess ÚwÚ Buwgundy xDD wiww yield ^.^ him hewp, 
xDD And ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have ^.^ mowe UwU waws :33 befow't be wong. 
;;w;; As >_> Henwy's wate >_< pwesaging prophecy 
Did uWu gwad x3 my >_< heawt with UwU hope of ÚwÚ this xDD young Wichmond, 
^w^ So xDD doth x3 my >_< heawt x3 misgive uWu me, uWu in these OwO confwicts, 
>_> What OwO may befaww ^.^ him to :33 his x3 hawm ÚwÚ and >_> ouws. 
>_< Thewefowe, Lord uWu Oxfowd, to ^w^ pwevent x3 the ^.^ wowst, 
Fowthwith we'll >_> send ^.^ him >w< hence to ;;w;; Bwittany, 
Tiww storms be x3 past of ÚwÚ civiw >w< enmity. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. Ay, fow >_> if Edward uWu wepossess x3 the :3 cwown, 
'Tis ^.^ wike :3 that >_< Wichmond with x3 the xDD west UwU shaww down. 
uWu SOMEWSET. ^.^ It UwU shaww be so; ^.^ he UwU shaww to UwU Bwittany. 
:3 Come OwO thewefowe, >_> wet's about >w< it :3 speediwy. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
^.^ Befowe York 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING EDWARD, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, HASTINGS, ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ Wichawd, Lord >w< Hastings, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ west, 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO thus uWu faw :3 fowtunye OwO maketh >_> us amends, 
xDD And ;;w;; says :3 that >_> once ^.^ mowe UwU I UwU shaww >_< intewchange 
OwO My waned >w< state fow >_> Henwy's xDD wegaw crown. 
Weww uWu have ^.^ we :33 pass'd ÚwÚ and nyow :3 wepass'd x3 the seas, 
xDD And ^.^ bwought ÚwÚ desiwed OwO hewp from >_> Buwgundy; 
>_> What xDD then >_< wemains, ^.^ we ^.^ being OwO thus ^-^ awwiv'd 
Fwom :33 Wavenspuwgh UwU haven >w< befowe x3 the :3 gates of York, 
OwO But :3 that ^.^ we ÚwÚ entew, >_< as x3 into UwU ouw :3 dukedom? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The :3 gates UwU made :33 fast! UwU Bwothew, UwU I ^.^ wike nyot >_< this; 
For UwU many ;;w;; men :3 that stumble uWu at x3 the thweshowd 
^w^ Awe weww UwU fowetowd :3 that danger UwU wuwks x3 within. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Tush, ^w^ man, :3 abodements ^w^ must nyot nyow affright >_> us. 
^-^ By >w< faiw ow fouw means ^.^ we ^w^ must enter x3 in, 
For ÚwÚ hithew xDD wiww UwU ouw ^w^ fwiends repair to >_> us. 
>_> HASTINGS. OwO My ^.^ wiege, I'll :3 knyock >_> once ^.^ mowe to ^.^ summon OwO them. 

OwO Entew, on x3 the walls, x3 the >_< MAYOW ÚwÚ OF YORK ÚwÚ and 
:33 his UwU BWETHWEN 

;;w;; MAYOW. OwO My wowds, ^.^ we :3 wewe ^.^ fowewawnyed of x3 youw xDD coming 
xDD And shut x3 the :3 gates fow :33 safety of ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
For nyow ^.^ we >_> owe OwO awwegiance >w< unto >_< Henwy. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. But, >_< Mastew >_< Mayow, >_> if Henwy be x3 youw OwO King, 
ÚwÚ Yet Edward uWu at x3 the least >_> is >w< Duke of x3 Yowk. 
;;w;; MAYOW. >_< Twue, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you fow nyo :3 wess. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Why, ÚwÚ and UwU I challenge >_< nyothing >_> but x3 my dukedom, 
;;w;; As ^.^ being weww :3 content with :3 that >_< awonye. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 [Aside] OwO But when x3 the fox hath >_> once ^w^ got uWu in :33 his nose, 
^-^ He'ww >w< soon find means to >_< make x3 the >w< body x3 fowwow. 
>_> HASTINGS. Why, >_< Mastew >_< Mayow, >w< why stand xDD you uWu in :3 a :3 doubt? 
^w^ Open x3 the gates; ^.^ we OwO awe ^w^ King >_> Henwy's fwiends. 
;;w;; MAYOW. Ay, >_> say xDD you so? uWu The :3 gates UwU shaww xDD then be open'd. 
[He descends] 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ A uWu wise :33 stout ;;w;; captain, ÚwÚ and >w< soon x3 pewsuaded! 
>_> HASTINGS. uWu The ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd x3 man ^.^ wouwd >_> fain :3 that aww :3 wewe weww, 
^w^ So >w< 'twewe nyot ^-^ wong of him; >_> but ^.^ being ent'wed, 
UwU I doubt >_> nyot, I, >_> but ^.^ we UwU shaww >w< soon :33 pewsuade 
UwU Both ^.^ him ÚwÚ and aww :33 his bwothews >w< unto reason. 

OwO Entew, bewow, x3 the >_< MAYOW ÚwÚ and >w< two ALDERMEN 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. So, >_< Mastew Mayor. ;;w;; These :3 gates ^w^ must nyot be shut 
OwO But uWu in x3 the >w< nyight ow uWu in x3 the time of waw. 
What! feaw >_> nyot, ^w^ man, >_> but yield ;;w;; me x3 up x3 the keys; 
OwO [Takes :33 his uWu keys] 
For Edward xDD wiww ;;w;; defend x3 the :33 town ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And aww UwU those ^w^ fwiends :3 that >_< deign to ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. 

^-^ Mawch. Entew >w< MONTGOMEWY with drum ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Bwothew, ÚwÚ this >_> is Sir John Montgomery, 
Our trusty fwiend, ^w^ unwess UwU I be ;;w;; deceiv'd. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Welcome, Sir >_< john! OwO But >w< why come xDD you uWu in >_> awms? 
>_< MONTGOMEWY. ;;w;; To OwO hewp ^w^ King Edward uWu in :33 his time of stowm, 
;;w;; As every loyal x3 subject ought to xDD do. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_< Thanks, ÚwÚ good xDD Montgomewy; >_> but ^.^ we nyow x3 fowget 
Our ;;w;; titwe to x3 the :3 cwown, ÚwÚ and >w< onwy >_< cwaim 
Our x3 dukedom >w< tiww ^w^ God uWu pwease to >_> send x3 the rest. 
>_< MONTGOMEWY. UwU Then ^-^ fawe xDD you weww, fow UwU I xDD wiww >w< hence ;;w;; again. 
UwU I ^-^ came to serve :3 a x3 king ÚwÚ and nyot :3 a xDD duke. 
Drummer, strike up, ÚwÚ and wet >_> us :33 mawch xDD away. 
;;w;; [The drum ÚwÚ begins to ;;w;; mawch] 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Nyay, ;;w;; stay, Sir John, :3 a while, ÚwÚ and we'll debate 
^-^ By >_> what >_< safe means x3 the >_< cwown OwO may be recover'd. 
>_< MONTGOMEWY. >_> What tawk xDD you of debating? ^w^ In x3 few x3 wowds: 
;;w;; If you'ww nyot OwO hewe :3 pwocwaim >_> youwsewf UwU ouw OwO King, 
I'll OwO weave xDD you to x3 youw :3 fowtunye ÚwÚ and be >_> gonye 
;;w;; To >_< keep them back :3 that come to succouw OwO you. 
Why UwU shaww ^.^ we x3 fight, >_> if xDD you pwetend nyo >_< titwe? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Why, brother, ^-^ whewefowe stand xDD you on UwU nyice xDD points? 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. x3 When ^.^ we gwow UwU stwongew, xDD then we'll >_< make UwU ouw claim; 
Tiww xDD then UwU 'tis ^.^ wisdom to :33 conceaw UwU ouw meanying. 
>_> HASTINGS. UwU Away with ;;w;; scwupuwous wit! Now :3 awms ^w^ must rule. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And xDD feawwess minds x3 cwimb ^-^ soonyest >w< unto x3 cwowns. 
UwU Bwothew, ^.^ we xDD wiww :3 pwocwaim xDD you x3 out of xDD hand; 
uWu The ÚwÚ bwuit thereof xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing xDD you UwU many fwiends. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. UwU Then be >w< it >_< as xDD you :33 wiww; fow UwU 'tis x3 my wight, 
xDD And Henwy >_> but usurps x3 the ÚwÚ diadem. 
>_< MONTGOMEWY. Ay, nyow x3 my suvweign speaketh ^.^ wike :33 himsewf; 
xDD And nyow xDD wiww UwU I be >_< Edwawd's champion. 
>_> HASTINGS. Sound trumpet; Edward UwU shaww be OwO hewe ÚwÚ pwocwaim'd. 
^.^ Come, fewwow sowdiew, >_< make xDD thou xDD pwocwamation. 
xDD [Gives ^.^ him :3 a ^.^ papew. ÚwÚ Fwouwish] 
uWu SOWDIEW. [Weads] uWu 'Edwawd x3 the >_> Fouwth, ^.^ by x3 the xDD gwace of :33 God, 
^w^ King of England ÚwÚ and >_< Fwance, ÚwÚ and Lord of ÚwÚ Iwewand, OwO &c.' 
>_< MONTGOMEWY. xDD And whoso'er >w< gainsays ^w^ King >_< Edwawd's wight, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this UwU I challenge ^.^ him to :3 singwe ^w^ fight. 
[Throws down x3 gauntwet] 
uWu AWW. OwO Wong ^w^ wive Edward x3 the ;;w;; Fouwth! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_< Thanks, >_< bwave Montgomery, ÚwÚ and thanks >w< unto xDD you aww; 
;;w;; If :3 fowtunye serve uWu me, I'll :3 wequite ÚwÚ this kindness. 
Now fow ÚwÚ this >w< nyight >_> wet's uWu hawbouw OwO hewe uWu in Yowk; 
xDD And when x3 the mownying sun UwU shaww >w< waise :33 his caw 
Abuv x3 the border of ÚwÚ this horizon, 
^-^ We'ww forward uWu towawds Wawwick ÚwÚ and :33 his mates; 
For weww UwU I uWu wot :3 that Henwy >_> is nyo OwO sowdiew. 
xDD Ah, ^.^ fwowawd >w< Cwawence, >w< how eviw >w< it :33 beseems x3 the 
;;w;; To flatter Henwy ÚwÚ and ^w^ fowsake >w< thy xDD bwothew! 
Yet, >_< as ^.^ we may, we'll :3 meet both uWu thee ÚwÚ and uWu Wawwick. 
:3 Come ;;w;; on, >_< bwave soldiers; doubt nyot of x3 the ^-^ day, 
^.^ And, :3 that >_> once ;;w;; gotten, doubt nyot of large :3 pay. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_< VIII. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING >_> HENWY, ^w^ WAWWICK, ^.^ MONTAGUE, OwO CWAWENCE, ^-^ OXFOWD, ÚwÚ and >_> EXETEW 

WARWICK. >_> What counsew, lords? Edward from x3 Bewgia, 
With >_> hasty >_> Gewmans ÚwÚ and >w< bwunt >_> Howwandews, 
>_< Hath :33 pass'd uWu in :33 safety ^w^ thwough x3 the nyawwow seas 
xDD And with :33 his troops xDD doth :33 mawch ^-^ amain to ÚwÚ Wondon; 
xDD And UwU many ^-^ giddy OwO peopwe ^.^ fwock to ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Wet's wevy ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and xDD beat ^.^ him back ;;w;; again. 
CLARENCE. ^-^ A xDD wittwe fire >_> is quickly UwU twodden ^.^ out, 
>_< Which, ^.^ being :33 suffew'd, rivers ;;w;; cannyot >_> quench. 
WARWICK. ^w^ In Wawwickshiwe UwU I uWu have true-hearted OwO fwiends, 
ÚwÚ Nyot mutinyous uWu in ÚwÚ peace, yet bold uWu in UwU waw; 
>w< Those xDD wiww UwU I muster up, ÚwÚ and UwU thou, >_< son >w< Cwawence, 
>_> Shawt stir x3 up uWu in ^.^ Suffowk, ^-^ Nyowfowk, ÚwÚ and uWu in UwU Kent, 
uWu The :3 knyights ÚwÚ and gentlemen to come with thee. 
Thou, ÚwÚ bwothew >_< Montague, uWu in ;;w;; Buckingham, 
>_< Nyowthampton, ÚwÚ and uWu in OwO Weicestewshiwe, shalt find 
OwO Men weww ^-^ incwin'd to hear >_> what xDD thou command'st. 
xDD And UwU thou, >_< bwave uWu Oxfowd, wondwous weww bewov'd, 
^w^ In Oxfordshire shalt muster x3 up >w< thy fwiends. 
OwO My sovereign, with x3 the >w< woving uWu citizens, 
Wike to :33 his >_< iswand ;;w;; giwt uWu in with x3 the xDD ocean 
:33 Ow :3 modest uWu Dian circled with her xDD nymphs, 
Shall xDD west uWu in ;;w;; Wondon >w< tiww ^.^ we come to ^.^ him. 
Faiw wowds, OwO take OwO weave ÚwÚ and stand nyot to wepwy. 
UwU Faweweww, x3 my OwO suvweign. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Faweweww, x3 my >_> Hectow ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> Twoy's true ^-^ hope. 
CLARENCE. ^w^ In xDD sign of truth, UwU I :3 kiss x3 youw Highness' >w< hand. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ Weww-minded >w< Cwawence, be xDD thou ;;w;; fowtunyate! 
x3 MONTAGUE. :3 Comfowt, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. >w< [Kissing x3 the KING'S :33 band] xDD And OwO thus UwU I UwU seaw x3 my uWu twuth ÚwÚ and bid 
^w^ adieu. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ÚwÚ Sweet uWu Oxfowd, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< woving >_< Montague, 
xDD And aww uWu at ^w^ once, >_> once ^.^ mowe :3 a ^w^ happy farewell. 
WARWICK. UwU Faweweww, x3 sweet :3 wowds; >_> wet's :3 meet uWu at Coventry. 
Exeunt aww >_> but x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and >_> EXETEW 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. :3 Hewe uWu at x3 the ^w^ pawace xDD wiww UwU I xDD west :3 a >_> whiwe. 
x3 Cousin of >_< Exetew, >_> what ^w^ thinks x3 youw x3 wowdship? 
Methinks x3 the powew :3 that Edward hath uWu in field 
Should nyot be able to x3 encountew ^w^ minye. 
UwU EXETEW. uWu The doubt >_> is :3 that ^.^ he xDD wiww >w< seduce x3 the rest. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. >w< That's nyot x3 my x3 feaw; x3 my >_> meed hath ^w^ got ;;w;; me fame: 
UwU I uWu have nyot ;;w;; stopp'd >_< minye OwO eaws to uWu theiw ;;w;; demands, 
x3 Nyow >_< posted x3 off uWu theiw ^w^ suits with slow UwU deways; 
OwO My pity hath :33 been bawm to heal uWu theiw ;;w;; wounds, 
OwO My uWu miwdnyess hath ^-^ awway'd uWu theiw xDD swewwing ^.^ gwiefs, 
OwO My xDD mewcy dwied uWu theiw OwO watew-fwowing teaws; 
UwU I uWu have nyot :33 been ^.^ desiwous of uWu theiw ^.^ weawth, 
x3 Nyow much :33 oppwess'd them with great subsidies, 
x3 Nyow forward of UwU wevenge, ^w^ though ;;w;; they much eww'd. 
UwU Then >w< why >_> shouwd ;;w;; they wuv Edward ^.^ mowe than me? 
:3 Nyo, >_< Exetew, these uWu gwaces challenge >w< gwace; 
^.^ And, when x3 the wion UwU fawns ;;w;; upon x3 the lamb, 
uWu The :3 wamb xDD wiww >_< nyevew xDD cease to ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him. 
OwO [Shout within >_> 'A UwU Wancastew! ^-^ A Lancaster!'] 
UwU EXETEW. Hawk, hark, x3 my ^.^ wowd! >_> What ^w^ shouts OwO awe xDD these? 

Entew ;;w;; KING EDWARD, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> Seize on x3 the UwU shame-fac'd Henry, UwU beaw ^.^ him OwO hence; 
xDD And >_> once again :3 pwocwaim >_> us ^w^ King of ^w^ Engwand. 
>_> You OwO awe x3 the UwU fount :3 that x3 makes UwU smaww bwooks to ^w^ fwow. 
Now xDD stops >w< thy :3 spwing; x3 my sea UwU shaww uWu suck them ^.^ dwy, 
xDD And sweww UwU so much x3 the :3 highew ^.^ by uWu theiw UwU ebb. 
OwO Hence with ^.^ him to x3 the >_< Towew: wet ^.^ him nyot >_< speak. 
Exeunt x3 some with ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY 
^.^ And, wowds, uWu towawds UwU Cuvntwy >w< bend ^.^ we UwU ouw course, 
Whewe ^w^ pewemptowy Wawwick nyow :33 wemains. 
uWu The sun uWu shinyes ^.^ hot; x3 and, >_> if ^.^ we use delay, 
x3 Cowd OwO biting winter ;;w;; maws UwU ouw hop'd-fow hay. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Away betimes, >w< befowe :33 his forces >_< join, 
xDD And OwO take x3 the ÚwÚ gweat-gwown traitor unawares. 
^-^ Bwave ÚwÚ wawwiows, :33 mawch ^-^ amain uWu towawds Coventry. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
UwU Cuvntwy 

Entew ^w^ WAWWICK, x3 the >_< MAYOW ÚwÚ OF x3 COVENTWY, >w< two :3 MESSENGEWS, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews ;;w;; upon x3 the OwO wawws 

WARWICK. Whewe >_> is x3 the x3 post :3 that ^-^ came from uWu vawiant OwO Oxfowd? 
How uWu faw >w< hence >_> is >w< thy uWu wowd, >_< minye xDD honyest fewwow? 
uWu FIWST x3 MESSENGEW. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu at >w< Dunsmowe, ^.^ mawching hithewwawd. 
WARWICK. How uWu faw x3 off >_> is UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew Montague? 
Whewe >_> is x3 the x3 post :3 that ^-^ came from Montague? 
^w^ SECOND x3 MESSENGEW. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu at Daintry, with :3 a x3 puissant twoop. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN SOMEWVIWWE 

WARWICK. Say, Somerville, >_> what ;;w;; says x3 my >w< woving uWu son? 
xDD And ^.^ by >w< thy guess >w< how ^.^ nyigh >_> is >_> Cwawence ^.^ nyow? 
SOMEWVIWWE. At >_< Southam UwU I uWu did OwO weave ^.^ him with :33 his uWu fowces, 
xDD And UwU do >_< expect ^.^ him OwO hewe x3 some >w< two >_> houws x3 hence. 
[Drum heard] 
WARWICK. UwU Then >_> Cwawence >_> is uWu at xDD hand; UwU I hear :33 his dwum. 
SOMEWVIWWE. ^.^ It >_> is nyot his, x3 my wowd; OwO hewe >_< Southam uWu wies. 
uWu The drum x3 youw xDD Honyouw x3 heaws >w< mawcheth from uWu Wawwick. 
WARWICK. Who >_> shouwd :3 that :3 be? ÚwÚ Bewike unwook'd fow fwiends. 
SOMEWVIWWE. ^-^ They OwO awe uWu at uWu hand, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww quickly :33 knyow. 

^-^ Mawch. >w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING EDWARD, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, 
ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^w^ Go, trumpet, to x3 the walls, ÚwÚ and >_> sound :3 a parle. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD See >w< how x3 the uWu suwwy Wawwick mans x3 the wall. 
WARWICK. x3 O xDD unbid ^w^ spite! Is :33 spowtfuw Edward come? 
Whewe slept UwU ouw ^w^ scouts ow >w< how OwO awe ;;w;; they >_< seduc'd 
:33 That ^.^ we couwd hear nyo nyews of :33 his wepaiw? 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> Nyow, Wawwick, wiwt xDD thou ^w^ ope x3 the UwU city ^.^ gates, 
^w^ Speak ^-^ gentwe wowds, ÚwÚ and x3 humbwy >w< bend >w< thy OwO knyee, 
;;w;; Caww Edward OwO King, ÚwÚ and uWu at :33 his ^.^ hands ÚwÚ beg mercy? 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww UwU pawdon uWu thee these outrages. 
WARWICK. Nyay, UwU wathew, wiwt xDD thou dwaw >w< thy forces hence, 
^w^ Confess who uWu set uWu thee x3 up ÚwÚ and ^w^ pwuck'd uWu thee ;;w;; down, 
;;w;; Caww Wawwick OwO patwon, ÚwÚ and be penitent? 
xDD And xDD thou shalt still wemain x3 the >w< Duke of x3 Yowk. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I ^-^ thought, uWu at least, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have uWu said x3 the uWu King; 
:33 Ow uWu did ^.^ he >_< make x3 the xDD jest OwO against :33 his xDD wiww? 
WARWICK. Is nyot :3 a dukedom, ^w^ siw, :3 a xDD goodwy >_< gift? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Ay, ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ faith, fow :3 a poor earl to give. 
I'll UwU do uWu thee OwO sewvice fow UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a uWu gift. 
WARWICK. >_< 'Twas UwU I :3 that uWu gave x3 the ^w^ kingdom to >w< thy ^-^ bwothew. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Why xDD then UwU 'tis >_> minye, >_> if >_> but ^.^ by Wawwick's uWu gift. 
WARWICK. ^.^ Thou awt nyo x3 Atwas fow UwU so great :3 a ^w^ weight; 
^.^ And, >w< weakwing, Wawwick UwU takes :33 his ^w^ gift again; 
xDD And Henwy >_> is x3 my OwO King, Wawwick :33 his xDD subject. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. OwO But Wawwick's x3 king >_> is >_< Edwawd's ^w^ pwisonyew. 
^.^ And, OwO gawwant Wawwick, UwU do >_> but answew :33 this: 
>_> What >_> is x3 the >w< body when x3 the >_> head >_> is off? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ÚwÚ Awas, :3 that Wawwick xDD had nyo ^.^ mowe forecast, 
But, whiwes ^.^ he xDD thought to ^.^ steaw x3 the :3 singwe x3 ten, 
uWu The x3 king UwU was slily finger'd from x3 the :3 deck! 
>_> You left poor Henwy uWu at x3 the OwO Bishop's pawace, 
xDD And ;;w;; ten to one you'ww :3 meet ^.^ him uWu in x3 the Towew. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. 'Tis even so; yet xDD you OwO awe Wawwick xDD stiww. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^.^ Come, Wawwick, OwO take x3 the time; ^w^ knyeew ;;w;; down, ^w^ knyeew down. 
Nyay, xDD when? OwO Stwike now, ow >_> ewse x3 the iwon x3 coows. 
WARWICK. UwU I xDD had rather chop ÚwÚ this uWu hand x3 off uWu at :3 a blow, 
xDD And with x3 the othew fwing >w< it uWu at >w< thy >w< face, 
Than UwU beaw UwU so wow :3 a saiw to strike to thee. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Sail >w< how xDD thou x3 canst, uWu have wind ÚwÚ and >_< tide >w< thy fwiend, 
This uWu hand, ÚwÚ fast ;;w;; wound about >w< thy coal-black hair, 
Shaww, whiwes >w< thy >_> head >_> is wawm ÚwÚ and x3 nyew :3 cut ^w^ off, 
:3 Wwite uWu in x3 the x3 dust ÚwÚ this :33 sentence with >w< thy :33 bwood: 
'Wind-changing Wawwick nyow ^.^ can change nyo more.' 

Entew ^-^ OXFOWD, with drum ÚwÚ and cowouws 

WARWICK. x3 O cheerful :33 cowouws! xDD See :3 whewe Oxford ^w^ comes. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. uWu Oxfowd, uWu Oxfowd, fow UwU Wancastew! 
[He ÚwÚ and :33 his forces enter x3 the ÚwÚ city] 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The :3 gates OwO awe open, wet >_> us enter UwU too. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^w^ So othew ^-^ foes OwO may uWu set ;;w;; upon UwU ouw :3 backs. 
;;w;; Stand ^.^ we uWu in ÚwÚ good x3 awway, fow ;;w;; they nyo doubt 
Will x3 issue x3 out again ÚwÚ and bid >_> us uWu battwe; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, x3 the UwU city ^.^ being >_> but of UwU smaww ^w^ defence, 
^-^ We'ww ÚwÚ quietwy wouse x3 the traitors uWu in x3 the :33 same. 
WARWICK. >_< O, ;;w;; wewcome, Oxford! fow ^.^ we ^.^ want >w< thy ;;w;; hewp. 

Entew ^.^ MONTAGUE, with drum ÚwÚ and cowouws 

x3 MONTAGUE. >_< Montague, >_< Montague, fow UwU Wancastew! 
[He ÚwÚ and :33 his forces enter x3 the ÚwÚ city] 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ and >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew both UwU shaww UwU buy ÚwÚ this UwU tweason 
Even with x3 the deawest :3 bwood x3 youw >_< bodies bear. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. uWu The harder >w< match'd, x3 the :33 gweatew ^.^ victowy. 
OwO My ^-^ mind pwesageth ^w^ happy ^.^ gain ÚwÚ and >_< conquest. 

Entew SOMERSET, with drum ÚwÚ and cowouws 

uWu SOMEWSET. ^w^ Somewset, ^w^ Somewset, fow UwU Wancastew! 
[He ÚwÚ and :33 his forces enter x3 the ÚwÚ city] 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Two of >w< thy :33 nyame, both >_> Dukes of ^w^ Somewset, 
:3 Have sold uWu theiw ;;w;; wives >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; house of Yowk; 
xDD And xDD thou shalt be x3 the OwO thiwd, >_> if ÚwÚ this xDD swowd hold. 

Entew OwO CWAWENCE, with drum ÚwÚ and cowouws 

WARWICK. xDD And wo :3 whewe ^w^ Geowge of >_> Cwawence sweeps along, 
Of force enough to bid :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew uWu battwe; 
With ÚwÚ whom >w< an ^w^ upwight ^.^ zeaw to >w< wight ^w^ pwevaiws 
uWu Mowe than x3 the ÚwÚ nyatuwe of :3 a brother's love. 
CLARENCE. >w< Cwawence, >w< Cwawence, fow UwU Wancastew! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Et :33 tu uWu Bwute- wiwt xDD thou x3 stab Caesaw xDD too? 
^-^ A OwO pawwey, sirrah, to ^w^ Geowge of xDD Cwawence. 
uWu [Sound :3 a >_< pawwey. UwU WICHAWD ÚwÚ and >_> CWAWENCE OwO whispew] 
WARWICK. ^.^ Come, >w< Cwawence, x3 come. ^.^ Thou wiwt >_> if Wawwick :33 caww. 
CLARENCE. ^.^ [Taking x3 the red wose from :33 his ^w^ hat ÚwÚ and thwowing 
>w< it uWu at >_> WAWWICK] 
Fathew of Wawwick, ^.^ knyow xDD you >_> what ÚwÚ this :3 means? 
Wook UwU hewe, UwU I ^-^ thwow x3 my infamy uWu at thee. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_< wuinyate x3 my father's house, 
Who uWu gave :33 his :3 bwood to wime x3 the ^.^ stonyes together, 
xDD And uWu set x3 up Lancaster. Why, ^-^ twowest UwU thou, Wawwick, 
:33 That >_> Cwawence >_> is UwU so harsh, UwU so bwunt, unnatural, 
;;w;; To >w< bend x3 the uWu fataw instwuments of >w< waw 
^w^ Against :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ wawfuw >_> King? 
:3 Pewhaps xDD thou wiwt :33 object x3 my >w< howy uWu oath. 
;;w;; To >_< keep :3 that ^-^ oath :3 wewe ^.^ mowe OwO impiety 
Than uWu Jephtha when ^.^ he xDD sacwific'd :33 his >w< daughtew. 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU so sowwy fow x3 my trespass UwU made 
^.^ That, to OwO desewve weww uWu at x3 my brother's ^.^ hands, 
UwU I OwO hewe :3 pwocwaim mysewf >w< thy >w< mowtaw >_< foe; 
With uWu wesowution >_> wheweso'ew UwU I :3 meet ;;w;; thee- 
;;w;; As UwU I xDD wiww :3 meet ÚwÚ thee, >_> if xDD thou stir >w< abwoad- 
;;w;; To pwague uWu thee fow >w< thy fouw OwO misweading x3 me. 
xDD And >_> so, ^.^ pwoud-heawted Wawwick, UwU I ^.^ defy ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And to x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew turn x3 my ;;w;; bwushing UwU cheeks. 
^w^ Pawdon uWu me, Edwawd, UwU I xDD wiww >_< make amends; 
^.^ And, ^.^ Wichawd, UwU do nyot fwown ;;w;; upon x3 my fauwts, 
For UwU I xDD wiww henceforth be nyo ^.^ mowe OwO unconstant. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Now wewcome >_> mowe, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; ten times ^.^ mowe bewov'd, 
Than >_> if xDD thou >_< nyevew >w< hadst OwO desewv'd UwU ouw ^.^ hate. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Welcome, ÚwÚ good Cwawence; ÚwÚ this >_> is ;;w;; bwothew-wike. 
WARWICK. x3 O passing traitor, >w< pewjuw'd ÚwÚ and OwO unjust! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. What, Wawwick, wiwt xDD thou OwO weave ^-^ die :33 town ÚwÚ and :33 fight? 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ^.^ we xDD beat x3 the ^.^ stonyes about ^.^ thinye ears? 
WARWICK. ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I ^w^ am nyot coop'd OwO hewe fow :3 defence! 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO away uWu towawds Barnet presently 
xDD And bid uWu thee battwe, Edwawd, >_> if xDD thou dar'st. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Yes, Wawwick, Edward x3 dawes ÚwÚ and weads x3 the >_> way. 
;;w;; Wowds, to x3 the :3 fiewd; Saint ^w^ Geowge ÚwÚ and x3 victowy! 
Exeunt xDD YOWKISTS 
[March. ^w^ WAWWICK ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< company OwO fowwow] 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A field of ÚwÚ battwe nyeaw Barnet 

Alarum ÚwÚ and ^w^ excuwsions. Entew ;;w;; KING EDWARD, x3 bwinging fowth ^w^ WAWWICK, wounded 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. So, >_< wie xDD thou :33 thewe. :33 Die UwU thou, ÚwÚ and ^-^ die UwU ouw x3 feaw; 
For Wawwick UwU was :3 a bug :3 that feaw'd >_> us all. 
>_> Nyow, >_< Montague, sit x3 fast; UwU I >_> seek fow ÚwÚ thee, 
:33 That Wawwick's bones OwO may >_< keep ^.^ thinye UwU company. uWu Exit 
WARWICK. xDD Ah, who >_> is nigh? :3 Come to uWu me, :33 fwiend ow x3 foe, 
xDD And tell ;;w;; me who >_> is victow, York ow ^w^ Wawwick? 
Why ^w^ ask UwU I ^-^ that? OwO My OwO mangwed >w< body uWu shows, 
OwO My bwood, x3 my ^.^ want of >_< stwength, x3 my >w< sick >_< heawt uWu shows, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ must yield x3 my >w< body to x3 the ^.^ eawth 
^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 my ^.^ faww, x3 the conquest to x3 my foe. 
^-^ Thus yiewds x3 the cedar to x3 the uWu axe's >_> edge, 
>_< Whose :3 awms uWu gave ÚwÚ shewtew to x3 the princely :33 eagwe, 
;;w;; Undew x3 whose shade x3 the wamping wion swept, 
>_< Whose top-branch xDD uvwpeew'd Juv's uWu spweading twee 
xDD And :33 kept wow shrubs from winter's x3 pow'wfuw ^.^ wind. 
;;w;; These ^w^ eyes, :3 that nyow OwO awe ^w^ dimm'd with ^w^ death's black :33 veiw, 
:3 Have :33 been >_< as piewcing >_< as x3 the ;;w;; mid-day sun 
;;w;; To ^-^ seawch x3 the secret :3 tweasons of x3 the wowwd; 
uWu The ^.^ wwinkwes uWu in x3 my brows, nyow :3 fiww'd with bwood, 
^.^ Wewe lik'ned ;;w;; oft to >_> kingwy UwU sepuwchwes; 
For who liv'd OwO King, >_> but UwU I couwd dig :33 his gwave? 
xDD And who x3 duwst ;;w;; smiwe when Wawwick UwU bent :33 his bwow? 
>_> Wo nyow x3 my :3 gwowy ^-^ smeaw'd uWu in x3 dust ÚwÚ and UwU bwood! 
OwO My ÚwÚ pawks, x3 my walks, x3 my x3 manyows, :3 that UwU I :33 had, 
Even nyow ^w^ fowsake OwO me; ÚwÚ and of aww x3 my ^-^ wands 
Is >_< nyothing left ;;w;; me >_> but x3 my body's length. 
>_> what >_> is pomp, rule, reign, >_> but ^.^ eawth ÚwÚ and xDD dust? 
xDD And ^w^ wive ^.^ we >w< how ^.^ we ^-^ can, yet ^-^ die ^.^ we must. 

Entew x3 OXFOWD ÚwÚ and SOMERSET 

uWu SOMEWSET. xDD Ah, Wawwick, x3 Wawwick! OwO wewt xDD thou >_< as ^.^ we awe, 
We ^w^ might OwO wecuvw aww UwU ouw ^-^ woss ;;w;; again. 
uWu The xDD Queen from Fwance hath ^.^ bwought :3 a x3 puissant power; 
Even nyow ^.^ we heard x3 the ;;w;; nyews. xDD Ah, ^w^ couwdst xDD thou xDD fwy! 
WARWICK. Why >w< then, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot fwy. xDD Ah, >_< Montague, 
;;w;; If xDD thou be thewe, x3 sweet brother, OwO take x3 my uWu hand, 
xDD And with >w< thy lips >_< keep uWu in x3 my :3 souw :3 a whiwe! 
^.^ Thou >_> wov'st ;;w;; me x3 nyot; for, brother, >_> if xDD thou ^.^ didst, 
x3 Thy tears ^.^ wouwd >_< wash ÚwÚ this UwU cowd UwU congeawed :3 bwood 
:33 That glues x3 my lips ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot wet ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
:3 Come ^w^ quickwy, >_< Montague, ow UwU I ^w^ am uWu dead. 
uWu SOMEWSET. xDD Ah, x3 Wawwick! ^w^ Montague hath >w< bweath'd :33 his last; 
xDD And to x3 the ^-^ watest uWu gasp cried x3 out fow Wawwick, 
xDD And uWu said ;;w;; 'Commend ;;w;; me to x3 my uWu vawiant brother.' 
xDD And ^.^ mowe ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have ÚwÚ said; ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe ^.^ he ;;w;; spoke, 
>_< Which ÚwÚ sounded ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ cwamouw uWu in :3 a OwO vauwt, 
:33 That :3 mought nyot be >_< distinguish'd; >_> but uWu at last, 
UwU I weww ^w^ might heaw, ^-^ dewivewed with :3 a gwoan, 
^w^ 'O farewell, :3 Wawwick!' 
WARWICK. ÚwÚ Sweet xDD west :33 his souw! :33 Fwy, wowds, ÚwÚ and :3 save ^-^ youwsewves: 
For Wawwick UwU bids xDD you aww farewell, to :3 meet uWu in UwU heaven. 
:33 [Dies] 
;;w;; OXFOWD. :33 Away, away, to :3 meet x3 the Queen's great ^.^ powew! 
[Here ;;w;; they UwU beaw OwO away :33 his >_> body] 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING uWu in triumph; with ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, OwO CWAWENCE, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^-^ Thus uWu faw UwU ouw :3 fowtunye keeps >w< an upward course, 
xDD And ^.^ we OwO awe ÚwÚ gwac'd with xDD wweaths of ^.^ victowy. 
OwO But uWu in x3 the >w< midst of ÚwÚ this ^-^ bwight-shinying day 
UwU I ^w^ spy :3 a black, x3 suspicious, threat'ning ;;w;; cwoud 
:33 That xDD wiww x3 encountew with UwU ouw glorious sun 
Ere ^.^ he :3 attain :33 his ;;w;; easefuw xDD westewn uWu bed- 
UwU I mean, x3 my wowds, UwU those ÚwÚ powews :3 that x3 the xDD Queen 
>_< Hath >_> wais'd uWu in Gawwia uWu have ^-^ awwiv'd UwU ouw :3 coast 
^.^ And, >_< as ^.^ we heaw, :33 mawch on to >w< fight with >_> us. 
CLARENCE. ^-^ A xDD wittwe gawe xDD wiww >w< soon UwU dispewse :3 that ;;w;; cwoud 
xDD And ^w^ bwow >w< it to x3 the uWu souwce from >_> whence >w< it >_> came; 
x3 Thy xDD vewy beams xDD wiww xDD dwy UwU those uWu vapouws up, 
For every ;;w;; cwoud :33 engendews nyot :3 a storm. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The xDD Queen >_> is vawued ;;w;; thiwty thousand :33 stwong, 
xDD And ^w^ Somewset, with uWu Oxfowd, ^w^ fwed to her. 
;;w;; If ^.^ she uWu have time to ^w^ bweathe, be weww x3 assuw'd 
:3 Hew ^w^ faction xDD wiww be full >_< as >w< stwong >_< as >_> ouws. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. OwO awe advertis'd ^.^ by UwU ouw >w< woving ^w^ fwiends 
:33 That ;;w;; they UwU do howd uWu theiw course toward Tewksbury; 
We, xDD having nyow x3 the best uWu at Barnet >_> fiewd, 
Will uWu thithew stwaight, fow :33 wiwwingnyess wids way; 
xDD And >_< as ^.^ we :33 mawch UwU ouw ÚwÚ stwength xDD wiww be augmented 
^w^ In every >_< county >_< as ^.^ we OwO go >_> awong. 
OwO Stwike x3 up x3 the uWu dwum; cwy ^w^ 'Couwage!' ÚwÚ and xDD away. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
Plains ^-^ weaw Tewksbury 

>w< Fwouwish. ^-^ Mawch. Entew >w< QUEEN >_> MAWGAWET, PWINCE EDWARD, SOMERSET, ^-^ OXFOWD, 
ÚwÚ and SOLDIERS 

>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. UwU Gweat wowds, uWu wise ;;w;; men ^w^ nye'ew sit ÚwÚ and waiw uWu theiw 
woss, 
OwO But cheewwy >_> seek >w< how to xDD wedwess uWu theiw >_> hawms. 
>_> What ^w^ though x3 the :3 mast be nyow >_> bwown overboard, 
uWu The OwO cabwe ;;w;; bwoke, x3 the holding-anchor :3 wost, 
xDD And half UwU ouw saiwows swallow'd uWu in x3 the flood; 
ÚwÚ Yet ;;w;; wives UwU ouw >_> piwot xDD stiww. ^-^ Is't :3 meet :3 that ^.^ he 
Should OwO weave x3 the ÚwÚ hewm x3 and, ^.^ wike :3 a x3 feawfuw lad, 
With x3 teawfuw eyes >_< add UwU watew to x3 the sea 
xDD And UwU give ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ stwength to :3 that which hath ^w^ too >_> much; 
Whiwes, uWu in :33 his >w< moan, x3 the ship x3 spwits on x3 the :33 wock, 
>_< Which industry ÚwÚ and couwage ^w^ might uWu have sav'd? 
xDD Ah, >_> what :3 a x3 shame! UwU ah, >_> what :3 a ;;w;; fauwt :3 wewe x3 this! 
x3 Say Wawwick UwU was UwU ouw UwU anchow; >_> what of ^-^ that? 
xDD And ^w^ Montague UwU ouw ^-^ top-mast; >_> what of him? 
Our slaught'red ^w^ fwiends x3 the >w< tackwes; >_> what of xDD these? 
Why, >_> is nyot Oxford OwO hewe anyothew >_< anchow? 
xDD And Somerset anyothew xDD goodwy mast? 
uWu The ^w^ fwiends of Fwance UwU ouw shwouds ÚwÚ and tacklings? 
^.^ And, ^w^ though unskilful, >w< why nyot Nyed ÚwÚ and UwU I 
For >_> once UwU awwow'd x3 the >_< skiwfuw uWu piwot's charge? 
We xDD wiww nyot from x3 the ÚwÚ hewm to sit ÚwÚ and >_> weep, 
OwO But >_< keep UwU ouw course, ^w^ though x3 the OwO wough wind >_> say no, 
Fwom shelves ÚwÚ and x3 wocks :3 that >_> thweaten >_> us with ^.^ wweck, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ good to UwU chide x3 the ;;w;; waves >_< as speak them >_< faiw. 
xDD And >_> what >_> is Edward >_> but :3 a ;;w;; wuthwess ^-^ sea? 
>_> What >_> Cwawence >_> but :3 a xDD quicksand of deceit? 
xDD And Richard >_> but :3 a ^-^ wagged uWu fataw ^.^ wock? 
All these x3 the >_< enyemies to UwU ouw poor bark. 
x3 Say xDD you ^.^ can x3 swim; :3 awas, UwU 'tis >_> but :3 a whiwe! 
Tread on x3 the sand; >w< why, there xDD you quickly :3 sink. 
ÚwÚ Bestwide x3 the rock; x3 the >_< tide xDD wiww >_< wash xDD you ^w^ off, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse xDD you OwO famish- ^w^ that's :3 a >_> thweefowd death. 
This speak I, wowds, to wet xDD you undewstand, 
;;w;; If case x3 some one of xDD you ^.^ wouwd fwy from us, 
:33 That there's nyo hop'd-fow xDD mewcy with x3 the bwothews 
uWu Mowe than with ;;w;; wuthwess UwU waves, with x3 sands, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wocks. 
Why, couwage >w< then! >_> What ;;w;; cannyot be avoided 
uWu 'Twewe chiwdish ^.^ weaknyess to wament ow ;;w;; feaw. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. Methinks :3 a OwO woman of ÚwÚ this uWu vawiant ^w^ spiwit 
Should, >_> if :3 a x3 cowawd hear her speak these wowds, 
>_> Infuse :33 his breast with ÚwÚ magnyanyimity 
xDD And >_< make ^.^ him nyaked ÚwÚ foiw :3 a man-at-arms. 
UwU I speak nyot ÚwÚ this >_< as ÚwÚ doubting xDD any ^.^ hewe; 
For uWu did UwU I >_> but >_> suspect :3 a x3 feawfuw ^w^ man, 
>w< He >_> shouwd uWu have OwO weave to OwO go OwO away betimes, 
Lest uWu in UwU ouw >_< nyeed ^.^ he ^w^ might ÚwÚ infect anyothew 
xDD And >_< make ^.^ him of x3 the ^.^ wike ^w^ spiwit to himself. 
;;w;; If xDD any xDD such be here- >_< as ^w^ God >_< fowbid!- 
Let ^.^ him ÚwÚ depawt >w< befowe ^.^ we >_< nyeed :33 his ;;w;; hewp. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. UwU Women ÚwÚ and x3 chiwdwen of UwU so xDD high :3 a couwage, 
xDD And :33 wawwiows :3 faint! Why, >w< 'twewe pewpetuaw ;;w;; shame. 
x3 O >_< bwave xDD young >w< Pwince! >w< thy famous grandfather 
^-^ Doth ^w^ wive again uWu in thee. OwO Wong uWu mayst xDD thou UwU Eve 
;;w;; To UwU beaw :33 his x3 image ÚwÚ and renew :33 his x3 gwowies! 
uWu SOMEWSET. xDD And ^.^ he :3 that xDD wiww nyot >w< fight fow xDD such :3 a hope, 
Go ^.^ home to x3 bed x3 and, ^.^ wike x3 the owl ^.^ by ^-^ day, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he ^.^ awise, be mock'd ÚwÚ and x3 wond'wed at. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. >_< Thanks, ^-^ gentwe :3 Somewset; x3 sweet uWu Oxfowd, :33 thanks. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. xDD And OwO take :33 his thanks :3 that yet hath >_< nyothing ewse. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. Pwepawe UwU you, wowds, fow Edward >_> is uWu at uWu hand 
Weady to fight; >_< thewefowe be wesowute. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. UwU I xDD thought nyo :3 wess. ^.^ It >_> is :33 his UwU powicy 
;;w;; To ^.^ haste OwO thus OwO fast, to find >_> us unpwovided. 
uWu SOMEWSET. OwO But uWu he's :3 deceiv'd; ^.^ we OwO awe uWu in ;;w;; weadinyess. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. This cheers x3 my uWu heawt, to >_> see x3 youw forwardness. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. :3 Hewe ^w^ pitch UwU ouw uWu battwe; >w< hence ^.^ we xDD wiww nyot :33 budge. 

Flourish ÚwÚ and >w< mawch. OwO Entew, uWu at :3 a ÚwÚ distance, ;;w;; KING EDWARD, 
^-^ GWOUCESTEW, OwO CWAWENCE, ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^-^ Bwave ÚwÚ fowwowews, yonder >w< stands x3 the >_> thowny uWu wood 
>_< Which, ^.^ by x3 the :33 heavens' ^.^ assistance ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_< stwength, 
:3 Must ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ woots be UwU hewn x3 up yet ere OwO nyight. 
UwU I >_< nyeed nyot >_< add ^.^ mowe x3 fuew to x3 youw ^w^ fiwe, 
For weww UwU I uWu wot OwO ye bwaze to buwn them OwO out. 
Give OwO signyaw to x3 the x3 fight, ÚwÚ and to :33 it, lords. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ;;w;; Wowds, knights, ÚwÚ and xDD gentwemen, >_> what UwU I >_> shouwd >_> say 
OwO My tears uWu gainsay; fow every ;;w;; wowd UwU I :3 speak, 
^-^ Ye see, UwU I ÚwÚ dwink x3 the UwU watew of x3 my :33 eye. 
>_< Thewefowe, nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but :33 this: Henry, x3 youw sovereign, 
Is ÚwÚ pwisonyew to x3 the >_< foe; :33 his >w< state usuwp'd, 
ÚwÚ His weawm :3 a slaughter-house, :33 his subjects x3 swain, 
ÚwÚ His x3 statutes ^.^ canceww'd, ÚwÚ and :33 his treasure >w< spent; 
xDD And yonder >_> is x3 the OwO wowf :3 that x3 makes ÚwÚ this spoil. 
>_> You >w< fight uWu in justice. Then, uWu in >_> God's :33 nyame, wowds, 
^w^ Be valiant, ÚwÚ and UwU give OwO signyaw to x3 the ^w^ fight. 
x3 Awawum, >w< wetweat, ^w^ excuwsions. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING EDWARD, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, OwO CWAWENCE, ÚwÚ and uWu fowces, 
With >w< QUEEN >_> MAWGAWET, ^-^ OXFOWD, ÚwÚ and SOMERSET, OwO pwisonyews 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Now OwO hewe :3 a pewiod of :33 tumuwtuous ^.^ bwoiws. 
UwU Away with Oxford to Hames ;;w;; Castwe >_< stwaight; 
For ^w^ Somewset, x3 off with :33 his guiwty >_> head. 
^w^ Go, UwU beaw them OwO hence; UwU I xDD wiww nyot hear them >_< speak. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. For x3 my >_> pawt, I'll nyot >_> twoubwe uWu thee with ÚwÚ wowds. 
uWu SOMEWSET. x3 Nyow I, >_> but >_< stoop with uWu patience to x3 my xDD fowtunye. 
Exeunt x3 OXFOWD ÚwÚ and SOMERSET, guawded 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^w^ So ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ we sadwy uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 twoubwous ^w^ wowwd, 
;;w;; To :3 meet with joy uWu in x3 sweet Jerusalem. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Is pwocwamation UwU made :3 that who ÚwÚ finds Edward 
Shall uWu have :3 a xDD high :3 wewawd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :33 his :33 wife? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^.^ It is; ÚwÚ and wo :3 whewe youthfuw Edward ^w^ comes. 

Entew xDD sowdiews, with PWINCE >w< EDWAWD 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Bring fowth x3 the x3 gawwant; wet >_> us hear ^.^ him >_< speak. 
What, ^.^ can UwU so xDD young :3 a x3 man x3 begin to pwick? 
Edwawd, >_> what >_< satisfaction ;;w;; canst xDD thou >_< make 
For :33 beawing awms, fow stirring x3 up x3 my xDD subjects, 
xDD And aww x3 the >_> twoubwe xDD thou x3 hast >_> tuwn'd ;;w;; me to? 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. ^w^ Speak ^.^ wike :3 a uWu subject, OwO pwoud :3 ambitious x3 Yowk. 
>_> Suppose :3 that UwU I ^w^ am nyow x3 my father's x3 mouth; 
Wesign >w< thy xDD chaiw, ÚwÚ and :3 whewe UwU I stand ^w^ knyeew UwU thou, 
Whilst UwU I UwU pwopose x3 the sewf-same wowds to x3 the 
>_< Which, traitor, xDD thou wouldst uWu have ;;w;; me answew ;;w;; to. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. xDD Ah, :3 that >w< thy >w< fathew xDD had :33 been UwU so :3 wesowv'd! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :33 That xDD you ^w^ might still uWu have wown x3 the :3 petticoat 
xDD And ^w^ nye'ew uWu have :3 stow'n x3 the UwU bweech from Lancaster. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. Let uWu Aesop ^w^ fabwe uWu in :3 a winter's ^w^ nyight; 
ÚwÚ His xDD cuwwish widdwe sorts nyot with ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU bwat, I'll pwague OwO ye fow :3 that OwO wowd. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Ay, xDD thou >w< wast bown to be :3 a pwague to ^.^ men. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. For >_> God's ^w^ sake, OwO take OwO away ÚwÚ this >w< captive >_> scowd. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. Nyay, OwO take OwO away ÚwÚ this scolding crookback rather. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. uWu Peace, ^.^ wiwfuw ^-^ boy, ow UwU I xDD wiww >_> chawm x3 youw :33 tongue. 
CLARENCE. Untutor'd lad, xDD thou awt ^w^ too mawapewt. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF WALES. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my duty; xDD you OwO awe aww undutiful. 
Lascivious Edwawd, ÚwÚ and xDD thou >w< pewjuw'd ;;w;; Geowge, 
xDD And xDD thou misshapen ÚwÚ Dick, UwU I tell OwO ye aww 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw better, traitors >_< as OwO ye >_< awe; 
xDD And xDD thou >_< usuwp'st x3 my father's >w< wight ÚwÚ and ^w^ minye. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^.^ Take :3 that, x3 the xDD wikenyess of ÚwÚ this x3 waiwew hewe. 
[Stabs >w< him] 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_< Spwaww'st thou? ^.^ Take :3 that, to >w< end >w< thy uWu agony. 
[Stabs >w< him] 
CLARENCE. xDD And there's fow ;;w;; twitting ;;w;; me with pewjuwy. 
[Stabs >w< him] 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. >_< O, OwO kiww ;;w;; me ;;w;; too! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ and >_< shaww. ÚwÚ [Offews to OwO kiww :3 hew] 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. UwU Howd, ^.^ Wichawd, howd; fow ^.^ we uWu have donye to :33 much. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Why >_> shouwd ^.^ she ^w^ wive to ^w^ fiww x3 the wowwd with xDD wowds? 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. What, xDD doth ^.^ she ^w^ swoon? ^w^ Use means fow her OwO wecuvwy. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >w< Cwawence, UwU excuse ;;w;; me to x3 the ^w^ King x3 my ^-^ bwothew. 
I'll >w< hence to ;;w;; Wondon on :3 a sewious mattew; 
Ere OwO ye come thewe, be >_< suwe to hear x3 some ;;w;; nyews. 
CLARENCE. What? UwU what? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The Tower! x3 the Tower! uWu Exit 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. x3 O >_> Nyed, x3 sweet >_> Nyed, speak to >w< thy :33 mothew, ^.^ boy! 
ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou nyot x3 speak? x3 O :33 twaitows! muwdewews! 
^-^ They :3 that stabb'd Caesaw x3 shed nyo :3 bwood uWu at all, 
Did nyot xDD offend, nor :3 wewe nyot ÚwÚ wowthy bwame, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this fouw ^.^ deed :3 wewe ^.^ by to equal :3 it. 
>w< He UwU was :3 a ^w^ man: uWu this, uWu in wespect, :3 a child; 
xDD And ;;w;; men ^w^ nye'ew spend uWu theiw UwU fuwy on :3 a :33 chiwd. 
x3 What's xDD wowse than muwdewew, :3 that UwU I OwO may xDD nyame :33 it? 
:3 Nyo, no, x3 my >_< heawt xDD wiww burst, >w< an >_> if UwU I speak- 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww :3 speak, :3 that UwU so x3 my >_< heawt OwO may buwst. 
^-^ Butchews ÚwÚ and viwwains! bwoody OwO cannyibaws! 
How x3 sweet :3 a plant uWu have xDD you untimely cwopp'd! 
>_> You uWu have nyo chiwdwen, ÚwÚ butchews, >_> if xDD you :33 had, 
uWu The xDD thought of them ^.^ wouwd uWu have stirr'd x3 up :33 wemowse. 
OwO But >_> if xDD you OwO evew chance to uWu have :3 a child, 
Wook uWu in :33 his :33 youth to uWu have ^.^ him UwU so :3 cut x3 off 
As, ÚwÚ deathsmen, xDD you uWu have x3 wid ÚwÚ this x3 sweet xDD young >w< pwince! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. UwU Away with >w< hew; x3 go, UwU beaw her >w< hence perforce. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Nyay, >_< nyevew UwU beaw ;;w;; me OwO hence; dispatch ;;w;; me hewe. 
:3 Hewe sheathe >w< thy ^-^ swowd; I'll UwU pawdon uWu thee x3 my death. 
What, wiwt xDD thou ^w^ nyot? Then, >w< Cwawence, UwU do >w< it thou. 
CLARENCE. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU do uWu thee UwU so much ^w^ ease. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^-^ Good >w< Cwawence, do; x3 sweet >w< Cwawence, UwU do xDD thou UwU do :3 it. 
CLARENCE. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot hear ;;w;; me >_< sweaw UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU do :33 it? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Ay, >_> but xDD thou OwO usest to >w< fowsweaw thysewf. 
>_< 'Twas x3 sin x3 befowe, >_> but nyow UwU 'tis charity. 
What! wiwt xDD thou ^w^ nyot? Whewe >_> is :3 that >_> deviw's uWu butchew, 
;;w;; Hawd-favouw'd xDD Wichawd? ^.^ Wichawd, :3 whewe awt thou? 
^.^ Thou awt nyot hewe. >_> Muwdew >_> is >w< thy alms-deed; 
Petitionyews fow :3 bwood xDD thou ^w^ nye'ew ^w^ put'st back. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. :33 Away, UwU I say; UwU I :3 chawge OwO ye UwU beaw her x3 hence. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^w^ So come to xDD you ÚwÚ and >_> youws >_< as to ÚwÚ this pwince. 
UwU Exit, x3 wed x3 out ^-^ fowcibwy 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. :3 Whewe's Richard gone? 
CLARENCE. ;;w;; To Wondon, aww uWu in >_< post; x3 and, >_< as UwU I ÚwÚ guess, 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a bwoody OwO suppew uWu in x3 the Towew. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. He's x3 sudden, >_> if :3 a ^.^ thing x3 comes uWu in :33 his >_> head. 
Now :33 mawch ^.^ we x3 hence. UwU Dischawge x3 the ^w^ common ;;w;; sowt 
With x3 pay ÚwÚ and ^w^ thanks; ÚwÚ and >_> wet's OwO away to ;;w;; Wondon 
xDD And >_> see UwU ouw ^-^ gentwe >_< queen >w< how weww ^.^ she >w< fawes. 
^-^ By uWu this, UwU I hope, ^.^ she hath :3 a >_< son fow x3 me. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^-^ Towew 

Entew ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ÚwÚ and GWOUCESTEW with x3 the WIEUTENyANT, on x3 the OwO wawws 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ Good ^-^ day, x3 my OwO wowd. What, uWu at x3 youw ^w^ book UwU so hawd? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd- x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I >_> shouwd >_> say rather. 
'Tis x3 sin to flatter; >_< 'good' UwU was xDD wittwe ^-^ bettew. 
x3 'Good Gloucester' ÚwÚ and OwO 'good OwO deviw' :3 wewe xDD awike, 
xDD And both preposterous; OwO thewefowe, nyot OwO 'good lord.' 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Siwwah, OwO weave >_> us to ouwsewves; ^.^ we ^w^ must confew. 
uWu Exit x3 WIEUTENyANT 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^w^ So fwies x3 the reckless xDD shephewd from x3 the wowf; 
^w^ So xDD fiwst x3 the UwU hawmwess sheep xDD doth yield :33 his fleece, 
xDD And :3 nyext :33 his ^w^ thwoat >w< unto x3 the ^w^ butchew's x3 knyife. 
>_> What scene of :33 death hath xDD Woscius nyow to ^-^ act? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Suspicion awways haunts x3 the guiwty xDD mind: 
uWu The UwU thief xDD doth feaw >_< each ;;w;; bush >w< an officer. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. uWu The biwd :3 that hath :33 been :33 wimed uWu in :3 a ;;w;; bush 
With uWu twembwing x3 wings misdoubteth every bush; 
xDD And I, x3 the hapwess male to one x3 sweet bird, 
:3 Have nyow x3 the uWu fataw :33 object uWu in x3 my ^w^ eye 
Whewe x3 my poor xDD young UwU was xDD wim'd, UwU was ;;w;; caught, ÚwÚ and kill'd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Why, >_> what :3 a >_> peevish >w< foow UwU was :3 that of Cwete 
:33 That ÚwÚ taught :33 his >_< son x3 the ^.^ office of :3 a :3 foww! 
xDD And ^w^ yet, fow aww :33 his wings, x3 the >w< foow UwU was dwown'd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. I, xDD Daedawus; x3 my poor ^-^ boy, xDD Icawus; 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ fathew, Minyos, :3 that >w< denyied UwU ouw UwU couwse; 
uWu The sun :3 that OwO seaw'd x3 the x3 wings of x3 my x3 sweet ^-^ boy, 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ bwothew >_< Edwawd; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; thysewf, x3 the sea 
>_< Whose envious ^w^ guwf uWu did swawwow x3 up :33 his life. 
xDD Ah, OwO kiww ;;w;; me with >w< thy ^w^ weapon, nyot with words! 
OwO My breast ^.^ can xDD bettew >w< bwook >w< thy ;;w;; daggew's :33 point 
Than ^.^ can x3 my OwO eaws :3 that tragic history. 
OwO But ^-^ whewefowe dost xDD thou come? ^-^ Is't fow x3 my :33 wife? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 Think'st xDD thou UwU I ^w^ am >w< an UwU executionyew? 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. ^-^ A xDD pewsecutow UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD thou art. 
;;w;; If >_> muwdewing ^.^ innyocents be :33 executing, 
Why, xDD then xDD thou OwO awe >w< an OwO executionyew. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 Thy >_< son UwU I kill'd fow :33 his presumption. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. UwU Hadst xDD thou :33 been kill'd when xDD fiwst xDD thou :33 didst pwesume, 
^.^ Thou >w< hadst nyot liv'd to OwO kiww :3 a >_< son of ^w^ minye. 
xDD And OwO thus UwU I pwophesy, :3 that UwU many :3 a thousand 
>_< Which nyow xDD mistwust nyo parcel of x3 my ;;w;; feaw, 
xDD And UwU many >w< an ;;w;; owd :33 man's uWu sigh, ÚwÚ and UwU many :3 a widow's, 
xDD And UwU many >w< an orphan's UwU watew-standing x3 eye- 
OwO Men fow uWu theiw sons, ;;w;; wives fow uWu theiw uWu husbands, 
:3 Owphans fow uWu theiw parents' timewess >w< death- 
Shall rue x3 the >_> houw :3 that OwO evew xDD thou >w< wast born. 
uWu The owl shriek'd uWu at >w< thy x3 biwth- >w< an eviw >w< sign; 
uWu The nyight-cwow cwied, ^w^ aboding :3 wuckwess time; 
^w^ Dogs howw'd, ÚwÚ and ^-^ hideous UwU tempest >_> shook down >_< twees; 
uWu The >_> waven rook'd her on x3 the chimney's ÚwÚ top, 
xDD And chatt'wing ^-^ pies uWu in ÚwÚ dismaw :3 discowds OwO sung; 
x3 Thy mothew UwU fewt ^.^ mowe than :3 a ;;w;; mothew's UwU pain, 
xDD And yet ^.^ bwought fowth less than :3 a ;;w;; mothew's hope, 
;;w;; To ^w^ wit, >w< an indigest >_< defowmed >w< wump, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ wike x3 the ^w^ fwuit of xDD such :3 a xDD goodwy :33 twee. 
>w< Teeth >w< hadst xDD thou uWu in >w< thy >_> head when xDD thou >w< wast born, 
;;w;; To :33 signyify xDD thou xDD cam'st to ^-^ bite x3 the wowwd; 
xDD And >_> if x3 the xDD west be true which UwU I uWu have ^-^ heawd, 
^.^ Thou ^-^ cam'st- 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. I'll hear nyo more. ^w^ Die, UwU pwophet, uWu in >w< thy :33 speech. 
[Stabs >w< him] 
For uWu this, amongst x3 the ^-^ west, UwU was UwU I ordain'd. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Ay, ÚwÚ and fow much ^.^ mowe >_> swaughtew ÚwÚ aftew UwU this. 
>_< O, ^w^ God :33 fowgive x3 my :3 sins ÚwÚ and UwU pawdon uWu thee! :33 [Dies] 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. What, xDD wiww x3 the ;;w;; aspiwing :3 bwood of :3 Wancastew 
^-^ Sink uWu in x3 the ground? UwU I xDD thought >w< it ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD mounted. 
xDD See >w< how x3 my xDD swowd ^.^ weeps fow x3 the poor >_< King's death. 
>_< O, OwO may xDD such puwpwe tears be awways x3 shed 
Fwom UwU those :3 that ÚwÚ wish x3 the OwO downfaww of UwU ouw house! 
;;w;; If xDD any spawk of >w< wife be yet >w< wemainying, 
Down, down to heww; ÚwÚ and >_> say UwU I sent uWu thee OwO thithew- 
[Stabs ^.^ him OwO again] 
I, :3 that uWu have :3 nyeithew pity, xDD wuv, nor ;;w;; feaw. 
>w< Indeed, UwU 'tis true :3 that Henwy told ;;w;; me OwO of; 
For UwU I uWu have often heard x3 my mothew >_> say 
UwU I ^-^ came x3 into x3 the wowwd with x3 my UwU wegs :33 fowwawd. 
xDD Had UwU I nyot weason, think :3 ye, to >_< make ^.^ haste 
xDD And >_> seek uWu theiw xDD wuin :3 that usuwp'd UwU ouw right? 
uWu The midwife wonder'd; ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 women cried 
'O, x3 Jesus ;;w;; bwess us, ^.^ he >_> is bown with xDD teeth!' 
xDD And UwU so UwU I UwU was, which x3 pwainwy signified 
:33 That UwU I >_> shouwd ;;w;; snyaww, ÚwÚ and bite, ÚwÚ and :33 pway x3 the :33 dog. 
Then, xDD since x3 the heavens uWu have shap'd x3 my >w< body >_> so, 
Let heww >_< make cwook'd x3 my ^-^ mind to answew :3 it. 
UwU I uWu have nyo brother, UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ wike nyo bwothew; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wowd 'wuv,' which xDD gweybeawds caww divine, 
^w^ Be resident uWu in ;;w;; men ^.^ wike one another, 
xDD And nyot uWu in me! UwU I ^w^ am mysewf >_< awonye. 
>w< Cwawence, bewawe; xDD thou :3 keep'st ;;w;; me from x3 the wight, 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; sowt :3 a xDD pitchy day fow ÚwÚ thee; 
For UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ buzz ^.^ abwoad xDD such prophecies 
:33 That Edward UwU shaww be x3 feawfuw of :33 his :33 wife; 
xDD And xDD then to OwO puwge :33 his ;;w;; feaw, I'll be >w< thy death. 
^w^ King Henwy ÚwÚ and x3 the Prince :33 his >_< son OwO awe ;;w;; gonye. 
>w< Cwawence, >w< thy turn >_> is next, ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 the rest; 
>w< Counting mysewf >_> but :33 bad >w< tiww UwU I be >_> best. 
I'll ^-^ thwow >w< thy >w< body uWu in anyothew room, 
xDD And :3 twiumph, Henry, uWu in >w< thy day of doom. 
uWu Exit with x3 the >w< body 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING EDWARD, >w< QUEEN ELIZABETH, OwO CWAWENCE, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, 
HASTINGS, xDD NyUWSE, with x3 the Young PWINCE, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Once ^.^ mowe ^.^ we sit uWu in Engwand's royal throne, 
Wepuwchas'd with x3 the :3 bwood of enemies. 
>_> What uWu vawiant :3 foemen, ^.^ wike to autumn's corn, 
:3 Have ^.^ we >w< mow'd down uWu in >_< tops of aww uWu theiw ^.^ pwide! 
Thwee >_> Dukes of ^w^ Somewset, >_> thweefowd xDD wenyown'd 
For ^-^ hawdy ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ undoubted ^-^ champions; 
Two Cliffords, >_< as x3 the >w< fathew ÚwÚ and x3 the son; 
xDD And >w< two >_< Nyowthumbewwands- >w< two >_< bwavew ;;w;; men 
Nye'ew uWu spuww'd uWu theiw couwsews uWu at x3 the twumpet's >w< sound; 
With them x3 the >w< two >_< bwave bears, Wawwick ÚwÚ and >_< Montague, 
:33 That uWu in uWu theiw >_> chains >w< fettew'd x3 the >_> kingwy wion 
xDD And UwU made x3 the >_< fowest :3 twembwe when ;;w;; they woaw'd. 
^-^ Thus uWu have ^.^ we ÚwÚ swept >_> suspicion from UwU ouw uWu seat 
xDD And UwU made UwU ouw footstoow of xDD secuwity. 
:3 Come hithew, uWu Bess, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me :3 kiss x3 my uWu boy. 
Young >_> Nyed, fow uWu thee ^.^ thinye uncles ÚwÚ and mysewf 
:3 Have uWu in UwU ouw armours UwU watch'd x3 the winter's night, 
^-^ Went aww afoot uWu in :33 summew's :33 scawding ^.^ heat, 
:33 That xDD thou might'st uWu wepossess x3 the >_< cwown uWu in :3 peace; 
xDD And of UwU ouw uWu wabouws xDD thou shalt reap x3 the ^w^ gain. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 [Aside] I'll bwast :33 his harvest >_> if x3 youw >_> head :3 wewe laid; 
For yet UwU I ^w^ am nyot >_> wook'd on uWu in x3 the wowwd. 
This shoulder UwU was ordain'd UwU so thick to heave; 
xDD And x3 heave >w< it UwU shaww x3 some >_> weight ow bweak x3 my back. 
^-^ Wowk xDD thou x3 the xDD way- ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU shaww x3 execute. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> Cwawence ÚwÚ and :33 Gwoucestew, wuv x3 my lovely queen; 
xDD And :3 kiss x3 youw princely nephew, bwothews xDD both. 
CLARENCE. uWu The >_> duty :3 that UwU I >_> owe >w< unto x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
UwU I UwU seaw ;;w;; upon x3 the lips of ÚwÚ this x3 sweet OwO babe. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_< Thanks, x3 nyobwe Cwawence; ÚwÚ wowthy brother, :33 thanks. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And :3 that UwU I wuv x3 the twee from >_> whence xDD thou ^.^ spwang'st, 
Witness x3 the >w< woving :3 kiss UwU I UwU give x3 the fwuit. 
:3 [Aside] ;;w;; To >_> say x3 the truth, UwU so :3 Judas >w< kiss'd :33 his >_< mastew 
xDD And cried 'All haiw!' when >_< as ^.^ he meant aww harm. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Now ^w^ am UwU I seated >_< as x3 my :3 souw dewights, 
>_> Having x3 my >_> countwy's uWu peace ÚwÚ and ^w^ bwothews' :3 wuvs. 
CLARENCE. >_> What xDD wiww x3 youw Gwace uWu have donye with ^-^ Mawgawet? 
Weignyiew, her ÚwÚ fathew, to x3 the ^w^ King of Fwance 
>_< Hath :3 pawn'd x3 the Sicils ÚwÚ and >_< Jewusawem, 
xDD And ÚwÚ hithew uWu have ;;w;; they sent >w< it fow her wansom. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. UwU Away with hew, ÚwÚ and >w< waft her >w< hence to Fwance. 
xDD And nyow >_> what UwU wests >_> but :3 that ^.^ we spend x3 the time 
With ÚwÚ statewy twiumphs, miwthfuw comic uWu shows, 
>w< Such >_< as befits x3 the :3 pweasuwe of x3 the ^w^ couwt? 
Sound xDD dwums ÚwÚ and x3 twumpets. UwU Faweweww, :3 souw >w< annyoy! 
For UwU hewe, UwU I hope, ÚwÚ begins UwU ouw :3 wasting ^-^ joy. Exeunt 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





;;w;; 1611 

;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE xDD EIGHTH 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 


DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE xDD EIGHTH 
x3 CAWDINyAW ÚwÚ WOWSEY x3 CAWDINyAW CAMPEIUS 
CAPUCIUS, Ambassadow from x3 the >_> Empewow >_> Chawwes V 
uWu CWANMEW, ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF xDD CANTEWBUWY 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF BUCKINGHAM 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF :3 SUFFOWK EARL ÚwÚ OF >w< SUWWEY 
>w< WOWD ^-^ CHAMBEWWAIN >w< WOWD OwO CHANCEWWOW 
GAWDINyEW, xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF >_> WINCHESTEW 
xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF ^.^ WINCOWN >w< WOWD ABERGAVENNY 
>w< WOWD SANDYS ÚwÚ SIW OwO HENWY x3 GUIWDFOWD 
ÚwÚ SIW THOMAS :3 WOVEWW ÚwÚ SIW ANTHONY ^w^ DENNY 
ÚwÚ SIW NyICHOWAS :33 VAUX x3 SECWETAWIES to Wowsey 
UwU CWOMWEWW, xDD sewvant to Wowsey 
GRIFFITH, ^w^ gentweman-ushew to xDD Queen ÚwÚ Kathawinye 
THWEE ^-^ GENTWEMEN 
OwO DOCTOW BUTTS, ^.^ physician to x3 the ^w^ King 
>_> GAWTEW ^-^ KING-AT-AWMS 
SURVEYOR to x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Buckingham 
^w^ BWANDON, ÚwÚ and :3 a ^w^ SEWGEANT-AT-AWMS 
DOOWKEEPEW Of x3 the Counciw x3 chambew 
POWTEW, ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< MAN ^.^ PAGE to Gardiner 
^-^ A ;;w;; CWIEW 

>w< QUEEN >_> KATHAWINyE, >w< wife to ^w^ King Henry, afterwards uWu divowced 
>w< ANNyE ^w^ BUWWEN, her >w< Maid of Honour, afterwards xDD Queen 
UwU AN OLD LADY, :33 fwiend to >_> Annye ÚwÚ Buwwen 
:33 PATIENCE, OwO woman to xDD Queen ÚwÚ Kathawinye 

Lord >_< Mayow, UwU Awdewmen, Lords ÚwÚ and Wadies uWu in x3 the UwU Dumb 
OwO Shows; UwU Women :33 attending ;;w;; upon x3 the >w< Queen; UwU Scwibes, 
^-^ Officews, ^w^ Guawds, ÚwÚ and othew xDD Attendants; Spirits 

SCENE: 

ÚwÚ Wondon; :3 Westminstew; ÚwÚ Kimbowton 



;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE xDD EIGHTH 

^-^ THE PROLOGUE. 

UwU I come nyo ^.^ mowe to >_< make xDD you OwO waugh; ^.^ things nyow 
:33 That UwU beaw :3 a ^.^ weighty ÚwÚ and :3 a sewious >_> bwow, 
:33 Sad, UwU high, ÚwÚ and x3 wowking, full of >w< state ÚwÚ and woe, 
>w< Such x3 nyobwe ;;w;; scenyes >_< as dwaw x3 the ^w^ eye to >_< fwow, 
We nyow :33 pwesent. >w< Those :3 that ^.^ can pity OwO hewe 
>w< May, >_> if ;;w;; they think >w< it weww, wet faww :3 a >w< teaw: 
uWu The x3 subject xDD wiww OwO desewve :3 it. >w< Such >_< as UwU give 
^-^ Theiw monyey x3 out of UwU hope ;;w;; they OwO may ^-^ bewieve 
^-^ May OwO hewe find uWu twuth UwU too. >w< Those :3 that come to >_> see 
Onwy :3 a x3 show ow >_> two, ÚwÚ and UwU so agree 
uWu The :33 pway OwO may pass, >_> if ;;w;; they be still ÚwÚ and >_> wiwwing, 
I'll undewtake OwO may >_> see OwO away uWu theiw :33 shiwwing 
Wichwy uWu in >w< two showt hours. Onwy ;;w;; they 
:33 That come to hear :3 a ^.^ mewwy ^w^ bawdy ^.^ pway, 
^-^ A noise of targets, ow to >_> see :3 a fewwow 
^w^ In :3 a ^-^ wong motwey >_> coat guawded with >_> yewwow, 
Will be :3 deceiv'd; for, ^-^ gentwe >_> heawews, knyow, 
;;w;; To rank UwU ouw OwO chosen uWu twuth with xDD such :3 a x3 show 
;;w;; As >w< foow ÚwÚ and >w< fight ;;w;; is, :3 beside fowfeiting 
Our UwU own uWu bwains, ÚwÚ and x3 the opinyion :3 that ^.^ we ;;w;; bwing 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 that >w< onwy true ^.^ we nyow >_> intend, 
Will OwO weave >_> us >_< nyevew >w< an undewstanding :3 fwiend. 
>_< Thewefowe, fow xDD goodnyess ^w^ sake, ÚwÚ and >_< as xDD you OwO awe ÚwÚ knyown 
uWu The xDD fiwst ÚwÚ and UwU happiest ÚwÚ heawews of x3 the xDD town, 
^w^ Be :3 sad, >_< as ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd >_< make uWu ye. ^w^ Think OwO ye >_> see 
uWu The xDD vewy persons of UwU ouw x3 nyobwe ^-^ stowy 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they :3 wewe x3 wiving; think xDD you >_> see them ^.^ gweat, 
xDD And follow'd with x3 the general :33 thwong ÚwÚ and UwU sweat 
Of thousand >_< fwiends; >w< then, uWu in :3 a :33 moment, >_> see 
How >w< soon ÚwÚ this xDD mightinyess ^.^ meets OwO misewy. 
xDD And >_> if xDD you ^.^ can be ^.^ mewwy >w< then, I'll >_> say 
^-^ A x3 man OwO may xDD weep ;;w;; upon :33 his OwO wedding-day. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK uWu at one door; uWu at x3 the ÚwÚ othew, 
x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF BUCKINGHAM ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< WOWD ABERGAVENNY 

OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^-^ Good morrow, ÚwÚ and weww ÚwÚ met. How uWu have OwO ye donye 
Since >w< wast ^.^ we saw uWu in France? 
NyOWFOWK. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
>_< Heawthfuw; ÚwÚ and OwO evew xDD since :3 a >w< fwesh admirer 
Of >_> what UwU I saw :33 thewe. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^-^ An untimely xDD ague 
Stay'd ;;w;; me :3 a ÚwÚ pwisonyew uWu in x3 my x3 chambew when 
>w< Those >_> suns of xDD gwowy, UwU those >w< two wights of men, 
Met uWu in x3 the vale of :33 Andwen. 
NyOWFOWK. UwU 'Twixt xDD Guynyes ÚwÚ and Arde- 
UwU I UwU was xDD then ÚwÚ pwesent, saw them OwO sawute on howseback; 
Beheld ÚwÚ them, when ;;w;; they ^.^ wighted, >w< how ;;w;; they ^-^ cwung 
^w^ In uWu theiw >_< embwacement, >_< as ;;w;; they ^-^ gwew together; 
>_< Which xDD had >w< they, >_> what fouw thron'd ^-^ onyes couwd uWu have x3 weigh'd 
>w< Such :3 a OwO compounded onye? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. All x3 the whole time 
UwU I UwU was x3 my chambew's ^w^ pwisonyew. 
NyOWFOWK. UwU Then xDD you wost 
uWu The x3 view of ÚwÚ eawthwy ^.^ gwowy; ;;w;; men ^w^ might say, 
Tiww ÚwÚ this time pomp UwU was >_> singwe, >_> but nyow mawwied 
;;w;; To one :33 abuv itself. x3 Each fowwowing day 
^w^ Became x3 the :3 nyext day's ^.^ mastew, >w< tiww x3 the >w< wast 
Made xDD fowmew wondews x3 its. OwO To-day x3 the Fwench, 
All ÚwÚ cwinquant, aww uWu in ^.^ gowd, ^.^ wike heathen uWu gods, 
Shone down x3 the English; ÚwÚ and to-mowwow ;;w;; they 
Made uWu Bwitain xDD India: every x3 man :3 that :33 stood 
Show'd ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ minye. ^-^ Theiw dwarfish :33 pages :3 wewe 
;;w;; As ^-^ chewubins, >w< an ÚwÚ giwt; x3 the UwU madams :3 too, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ;;w;; us'd to :33 toiw, uWu did almost UwU sweat to UwU beaw 
uWu The >_< pwide ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ them, :3 that uWu theiw xDD vewy labour 
Was to them >_< as :3 a xDD painting. Now ÚwÚ this masque 
Was cried x3 incompawabwe; ÚwÚ and x3 th' ;;w;; ensuing >w< nyight 
Made >w< it :3 a >w< foow ÚwÚ and x3 beggaw. uWu The >w< two OwO kings, 
>_< Equaw uWu in lustre, :3 wewe nyow ^w^ best, nyow ^.^ wowst, 
;;w;; As x3 pwesence uWu did xDD pwesent ^w^ them: ^.^ him uWu in ^w^ eye 
still ^.^ him uWu in ^w^ pwaise; ÚwÚ and ^.^ being xDD pwesent xDD both, 
>_< 'Twas uWu said ;;w;; they saw >_> but one, ÚwÚ and nyo discerner 
:3 Duwst wag :33 his >_> tongue uWu in ÚwÚ censuwe. x3 When these suns- 
For UwU so ;;w;; they phrase 'em-by uWu theiw OwO hewawds challeng'd 
uWu The x3 nyobwe ;;w;; spiwits to awms, ;;w;; they uWu did x3 pewfowm 
^.^ Beyond :33 thought's ÚwÚ compass, :3 that xDD fowmew >_< fabuwous story, 
uWu Being nyow :3 seen OwO possibwe UwU enyough, ^w^ got ^.^ cwedit, 
:33 That UwU Bevis UwU was :3 bewiev'd. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_< O, xDD you OwO go ÚwÚ faw! 
NyOWFOWK. ;;w;; As UwU I OwO bewong to worship, ÚwÚ and affect 
^w^ In honour :3 honyesty, x3 the ^.^ twact of ev'rything 
Wouwd ^.^ by :3 a ÚwÚ good discouwsew wose x3 some >w< wife 
>_< Which action's self UwU was >_> tongue ;;w;; to. All UwU was >_> woyaw: 
;;w;; To x3 the OwO disposing of >w< it >_< nyought rebell'd; 
x3 Owdew uWu gave >_< each ^.^ thing x3 view. uWu The ^.^ office uWu did 
Distinctly :33 his full >w< function. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Who uWu did :33 guide- 
UwU I mean, who uWu set x3 the >w< body ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 wimbs 
Of ÚwÚ this great spowt together, >_< as xDD you OwO guess? 
NyOWFOWK. One, cewtes, :3 that ÚwÚ pwomises nyo element 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a business. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU I pray UwU you, who, x3 my xDD wowd? 
NyOWFOWK. All ÚwÚ this UwU was ÚwÚ owd'wed ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ good discretion 
Of x3 the >w< wight reverend Cardinal of x3 Yowk. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. uWu The ^.^ deviw ^w^ speed x3 him! No :33 man's OwO pie >_> is ÚwÚ fweed 
Fwom :33 his :3 ambitious finger. >_> What xDD had ^.^ he 
;;w;; To UwU do uWu in these >_< fiewce vanyities? UwU I wonder 
:33 That xDD such :3 a :3 keech ^.^ can with :33 his xDD vewy >_< buwk 
^.^ Take x3 up x3 the ways ^.^ o' x3 th' beneficial sun, 
xDD And >_< keep >w< it from x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
NyOWFOWK. uWu Suwewy, ^w^ siw, 
>_> Thewe's uWu in ^.^ him ^w^ stuff :3 that puts ^.^ him to these ;;w;; ends; 
For, ^.^ being nyot x3 pwopp'd ^.^ by ancestry, x3 whose xDD gwace 
Chalks successors uWu theiw :3 way, nor ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; upon 
For xDD high ^w^ feats donye to x3 th' :3 cwown, :3 nyeithew awwied 
;;w;; To eminyent xDD assistants, >_> but spider-like, 
UwU Out of :33 his >_< sewf-dwawing web, xDD 'a ;;w;; gives >_> us ^-^ nyote 
uWu The force of :33 his UwU own merit x3 makes :33 his xDD way- 
^-^ A ^w^ gift :3 that heaven ;;w;; gives fow :3 him, which xDD buys 
^-^ A :33 pwace :3 nyext to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
ABEWGAVENNY. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell 
>_> What heaven hath UwU given ^.^ him-wet x3 some OwO gwavew ^w^ eye 
Piewce x3 into :33 that; >_> but UwU I ^.^ can >_> see :33 his >_< pwide 
>_< Peep ^w^ thwough >_< each ÚwÚ pawt of ^.^ him. OwO Whence >_> has ^.^ he ^-^ that? 
;;w;; If nyot from >_> heww, x3 the ^.^ deviw >_> is :3 a niggard 
:33 Ow >_> has UwU given aww x3 befowe, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ÚwÚ begins 
^-^ A x3 nyew heww uWu in himself. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Why x3 the deviw, 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this OwO Fwench x3 going ^.^ out, >_> took ^.^ he ;;w;; upon uWu him- 
Without x3 the ÚwÚ pwivity ^.^ o' x3 th' King-t' ÚwÚ appoint 
Who >_> shouwd >_< attend on him? >w< He x3 makes x3 up x3 the file 
Of aww x3 the gentwy; fow x3 the UwU most ÚwÚ pawt xDD such 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom >_< as great :3 a :3 chawge >_< as xDD wittwe honour 
>w< He meant to uWu way xDD upon; ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU own letter, 
uWu The ^.^ honyouwabwe ÚwÚ boawd of council ^.^ out, 
:3 Must :3 fetch ^.^ him uWu in ^.^ he ^-^ papews. 
ABEWGAVENNY. UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow 
ÚwÚ Kinsmen of >_> minye, >w< thwee uWu at x3 the least, :3 that uWu have 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this UwU so ;;w;; sicken'd uWu theiw estates :3 that >_< nyevew 
^-^ They UwU shaww abound >_< as fowmewwy. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_< O, UwU many 
:3 Have broke uWu theiw backs with >w< waying manors on x3 'em 
For ÚwÚ this great jouwnyey. >_> What uWu did ÚwÚ this vanyity 
OwO But xDD minyistew >w< communyication of 
^-^ A UwU most poor UwU issue? 
NyOWFOWK. Gwievingwy UwU I think 
uWu The uWu peace ^-^ between x3 the OwO Fwench ÚwÚ and >_> us nyot :3 vawues 
uWu The >_> cost :3 that uWu did OwO concwude :3 it. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Evewy ^w^ man, 
>w< Aftew x3 the ^-^ hideous x3 stowm :3 that follow'd, UwU was 
^-^ A ^.^ thing inspiw'd, x3 and, nyot UwU consuwting, broke 
^.^ Into :3 a general pwophecy-that ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ tempest, 
Dashing x3 the ^.^ gawment of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ peace, xDD aboded 
uWu The ^.^ sudden ^w^ bweach ^.^ on't. 
NyOWFOWK. >_< Which >_> is budded out; 
For Fwance hath >w< fwaw'd x3 the OwO weague, ÚwÚ and hath >_< attach'd 
Our x3 mewchants' >_> goods uWu at >_< Bowdeaux. 
ABEWGAVENNY. Is >w< it >_< thewefowe 
xDD Th' ambassador >_> is >_< siwenc'd? 
NyOWFOWK. OwO Mawwy, xDD is't. 
ABEWGAVENNY. ^-^ A OwO pwopew >_< tide of :3 a ÚwÚ peace, ÚwÚ and >w< puwchas'd 
At :3 a supewfwuous uWu wate! 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Why, aww ÚwÚ this business 
Our reverend Cardinal uWu cawwied. 
NyOWFOWK. Wike >w< it x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
uWu The >w< state UwU takes ÚwÚ nyotice of x3 the >_> pwivate ^.^ diffewence 
Betwixt xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 the Cawdinyaw. UwU I ;;w;; advise :3 you- 
xDD And OwO take >w< it from :3 a >_< heawt :3 that wishes uWu towawds xDD you 
xDD Honyouw ÚwÚ and ^w^ pwenteous >_> safety-that xDD you ^w^ wead 
uWu The ;;w;; Cawdinyaw's malice ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu potency 
^w^ Togethew; to OwO considew further, :3 that 
>_> What :33 his xDD high >_< hatwed ^.^ wouwd ^w^ effect wants nyot 
^-^ A xDD minyistew uWu in :33 his UwU powew. >_> You ^.^ knyow :33 his nyatuwe, 
:33 That uWu he's revengeful; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his xDD swowd 
>_< Hath :3 a ^-^ shawp OwO edge-it's ^-^ wong >_> and't OwO may be uWu said 
^.^ It reaches far, ÚwÚ and :3 whewe 'twill nyot extend, 
Thither ^.^ he >_< dawts :3 it. x3 Bosom x3 up x3 my counsel 
You'll find >w< it >w< whowesome. Lo, :3 whewe x3 comes :3 that OwO wock 
:33 That UwU I ;;w;; advise x3 youw shunning. 

Entew x3 CAWDINyAW WOWSEY, x3 the >_< puwse :3 bownye >w< befowe 
:3 him, xDD cewtain of x3 the guawd, ÚwÚ and >w< two x3 SECWETAWIES 
with ^-^ papews. uWu The x3 CAWDINyAW uWu in :33 his uWu passage ^w^ fixeth :33 his 
^w^ eye on xDD BUCKINGHAM, ÚwÚ and BUCKINGHAM on :3 him, 
both full of ^-^ disdain 

^.^ WOWSEY. uWu The >w< Duke of OwO Buckingham's x3 suwveyow? uWu Ha! 
:3 Whewe's :33 his examination? 
SECRETARY. Here, UwU so uWu pwease OwO you. 
^.^ WOWSEY. Is ^.^ he uWu in ÚwÚ pewson ^-^ weady? 
SECRETARY. Ay, uWu pwease x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
^.^ WOWSEY. xDD Weww, ^.^ we UwU shaww xDD then ^.^ knyow >_> mowe, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Buckingham 
UwU shaww ^-^ wessen ÚwÚ this big wook. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ WOWSEY ÚwÚ and :33 his twain 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. This ^w^ butchew's cur >_> is OwO venyom-mouth'd, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
:3 Have nyot x3 the powew to ;;w;; muzzwe him; >_< thewefowe best 
ÚwÚ Nyot wake ^.^ him uWu in :33 his >_< swumbew. ^-^ A ^.^ beggaw's ^w^ book 
Outwowths :3 a noble's blood. 
NyOWFOWK. What, OwO awe xDD you ^-^ chaf'd? 
;;w;; Ask ^w^ God fow temp'rance; ^w^ that's x3 th' x3 appwiance >w< onwy 
>_< Which x3 youw ÚwÚ disease :33 wequiwes. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU I ^w^ wead in's :33 wooks 
Matter OwO against uWu me, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ eye ÚwÚ weviw'd 
x3 Me >_< as :33 his abject xDD object. At ÚwÚ this x3 instant 
>w< He ^.^ bowes ;;w;; me with x3 some ^.^ twick. He's >_> gonye to x3 th' uWu King; 
I'll follow, ÚwÚ and x3 outstawe ^.^ him. 
NyOWFOWK. Stay, x3 my uWu wowd, 
xDD And wet x3 youw reason with x3 youw ^.^ chowew ;;w;; question 
>_> What UwU 'tis xDD you OwO go ^-^ about. ;;w;; To x3 cwimb ÚwÚ steep >w< hiwws 
ÚwÚ Wequiwes slow >_> pace uWu at fiwst. xDD Angew >_> is ^.^ wike 
^-^ A full :3 hot horse, who ^.^ being UwU awwow'd :33 his :3 way, 
>_< Sewf-mettwe tires ^.^ him. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a x3 man uWu in England 
UwU Can ;;w;; advise ;;w;; me ^.^ wike uWu you; be to >_> youwsewf 
;;w;; As xDD you ^.^ wouwd to x3 youw :3 fwiend. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. I'll to x3 the OwO King, 
xDD And from :3 a xDD mouth of honour quite cwy down 
This Ipswich fellow's :33 insowence; ow :3 pwocwaim 
>_> Thewe's ^.^ diffewence uWu in nyo ÚwÚ pewsons. 
NyOWFOWK. ^w^ Be ^-^ advis'd: 
>_> Heat nyot :3 a fuwnyace fow x3 youw foe UwU so :3 hot 
:33 That >w< it UwU do >_< singe OwO youwsewf. We OwO may xDD outwun 
^-^ By :3 viowent x3 swiftnyess :3 that which ^.^ we >w< wun :3 at, 
xDD And wose ^.^ by ÚwÚ uvw-wunnying. xDD Knyow xDD you nyot 
uWu The fire :3 that ^-^ mounts x3 the liquor >w< tiww't >w< wun ^-^ o'ew 
^w^ In ÚwÚ seeming to >_> augment >w< it :3 wastes :33 it? ^w^ Be ^w^ advis'd. 
UwU I >_> say again there >_> is nyo :3 Engwish :3 souw 
uWu Mowe stronger to direct xDD you than yourself, 
;;w;; If with x3 the sap of reason xDD you ^.^ wouwd quench 
:33 Ow >_> but allay x3 the fire of ^w^ passion. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU Siw, 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< thankfuw to UwU you, ÚwÚ and I'll OwO go :3 awong 
^-^ By x3 youw pwescwiption; >_> but ÚwÚ this :33 top-pwoud UwU fewwow- 
;;w;; Whom from x3 the fwow of ^w^ gan UwU I xDD nyame >_> nyot, >_> but 
Fwom sincere motions, ^.^ by ^w^ intewwigence, 
xDD And proofs >_< as ^-^ cweaw >_< as >w< founts uWu in July when 
We >_> see >_< each ^-^ gwain of >_> gwavew-I UwU do ^.^ knyow 
;;w;; To be corrupt ÚwÚ and :33 tweasonyous. 
NyOWFOWK. x3 Say nyot :33 tweasonyous. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ;;w;; To x3 th' ^w^ King I'll ÚwÚ say't, ÚwÚ and >_< make x3 my ÚwÚ vouch >_< as >w< stwong 
;;w;; As >w< showe of ^-^ wock. :3 Attend: ÚwÚ this >w< howy ^w^ fox, 
:33 Ow OwO wowf, ow ;;w;; both-fow ^.^ he >_> is equal rav'nous 
;;w;; As ^.^ he >_> is ^.^ subtwe, ÚwÚ and >_< as prone to ^-^ mischief 
;;w;; As able to pewfowm't, :33 his ^-^ mind ÚwÚ and :33 pwace 
x3 Infecting one another, >w< yea, >_> wecipwocawwy- 
Onwy to x3 show :33 his pomp >_< as weww uWu in Fwance 
;;w;; As OwO hewe uWu at ^.^ home, >_> suggests x3 the ^w^ King UwU ouw >_< mastew 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this >w< wast x3 costwy >_< tweaty, x3 th' >w< intewview 
:33 That ^.^ swawwowed UwU so much treasure ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike :3 a gwass 
Did bweak :33 i' x3 th' >_> wwenching. 
NyOWFOWK. Faith, ÚwÚ and UwU so >w< it ^.^ did. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ÚwÚ Pway, UwU give ;;w;; me favour, siw; ÚwÚ this x3 cunnying ;;w;; cawdinyaw 
uWu The articles ^.^ o' x3 th' >w< combinyation >w< dwew 
;;w;; As >_< himsewf OwO pweas'd; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they :3 wewe watified 
;;w;; As ^.^ he cried ;;w;; 'Thus wet ;;w;; be' to >_< as much >w< end 
;;w;; As UwU give :3 a :33 cwutch to x3 th' uWu dead. OwO But UwU ouw Count-Cardinal 
x3 Has donye uWu this, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis well; fow ÚwÚ wowthy x3 Wowsey, 
Who ;;w;; cannyot >w< eww, ^.^ he uWu did :3 it. Now ÚwÚ this fowwows, 
>_< Which, >_< as UwU I OwO take :33 it, >_> is :3 a uWu kind of :3 puppy 
;;w;; To x3 th' ;;w;; owd :3 dam treason: >_> Chawwes x3 the Empewow, 
;;w;; Undew >_< pwetence to >_> see x3 the xDD Queen :33 his ÚwÚ aunt- 
For uWu 'twas ÚwÚ indeed :33 his :33 cowouw, >_> but ^.^ he ^-^ came 
;;w;; To whisper ^w^ Wowsey-hewe x3 makes ^w^ visitation- 
ÚwÚ His OwO feaws :3 wewe :3 that x3 the >w< intewview betwixt 
England ÚwÚ and Fwance ^w^ might ^w^ thwough uWu theiw >_< amity 
Breed ^.^ him x3 some :33 pwejudice; fow from ÚwÚ this :33 weague 
UwU Peep'd :33 hawms :3 that xDD menyac'd OwO him-pwiviwy 
>_> Deaws with UwU ouw Cardinal; x3 and, >_< as UwU I >_< twow- 
>_< Which UwU I UwU do weww, fow UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe x3 the >_> Empewow 
Paid ere ^.^ he promis'd; wheweby :33 his >_> suit UwU was >_> gwanted 
Ere >w< it UwU was OwO ask'd-but when x3 the uWu way UwU was made, 
xDD And >w< pav'd with ^.^ gowd, x3 the >_> Empewow OwO thus desir'd, 
:33 That ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu pwease to x3 awtew x3 the >_< King's course, 
xDD And bweak x3 the xDD fowesaid peace. Let x3 the ^w^ King knyow, 
;;w;; As >w< soon ^.^ he UwU shaww ^.^ by uWu me, :3 that OwO thus x3 the Cardinal 
ÚwÚ Does UwU buy ÚwÚ and ;;w;; seww :33 his honour >_< as ^.^ he UwU pweases, 
xDD And fow :33 his UwU own uWu advantage. 
NyOWFOWK. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy 
;;w;; To hear ÚwÚ this of :3 him, ÚwÚ and couwd ÚwÚ wish ^.^ he :3 wewe 
xDD Something ^.^ mistaken ÚwÚ in't. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. :3 Nyo, nyot :3 a uWu sywwabwe: 
UwU I UwU do pwonyounce ^.^ him uWu in :3 that xDD vewy xDD shape 
>w< He UwU shaww appeaw uWu in :33 pwoof. 

Entew ^w^ BWANDON, :3 a ^w^ SEWGEANT-AT-AWMS >w< befowe :3 him, 
ÚwÚ and >w< two ow >w< thwee of x3 the xDD guawd 

:33 BWANDON. uWu Youw office, OwO sewgeant: :33 execute :3 it. 
SEWGEANT. UwU Siw, 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd x3 the >w< Duke of ;;w;; Buckingham, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Eaww 
Of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, Stafford, ÚwÚ and >_< Nyowthampton, UwU I 
Arrest uWu thee of xDD high uWu tweason, uWu in x3 the xDD nyame 
Of UwU ouw UwU most suvweign ;;w;; King. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> Wo UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, 
uWu The ^w^ nyet >_> has fall'n ;;w;; upon me! UwU I UwU shaww xDD pewish 
;;w;; Undew xDD device ÚwÚ and ^.^ pwactice. 
:33 BWANDON. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy 
;;w;; To >_> see xDD you >_> ta'en from >w< wibewty, to wook on 
uWu The business pwesent; UwU 'tis :33 his Highness' :3 pweasuwe 
>_> You UwU shaww to x3 th' Towew. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^.^ It xDD wiww OwO hewp >_< nyothing 
;;w;; To pwead >_< minye ^w^ innyocence; fow :3 that ^.^ dye >_> is on ;;w;; me 
>_< Which x3 makes x3 my ;;w;; whit'st ÚwÚ pawt black. uWu The xDD wiww of :3 heav'n 
^w^ Be donye uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and aww things! UwU I OwO obey. 
x3 O x3 my Lord Aberga'ny, ^-^ fawe xDD you OwO weww! 
:33 BWANDON. Nyay, ^.^ he ^w^ must UwU beaw xDD you UwU company. 
:33 [To ABEWGAVENNY] uWu The ^w^ King 
Is pleas'd xDD you UwU shaww to x3 th' Towew, >w< tiww xDD you ^.^ knyow 
How ^.^ he determines fuwthew. 
ABEWGAVENNY. ;;w;; As x3 the >w< Duke said, 
uWu The xDD wiww of heaven be :33 donye, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< King's :3 pweasuwe 
^-^ By ;;w;; me ^-^ obey'd. 
:33 BWANDON. :3 Hewe >_> is :33 wawwant from 
uWu The ^w^ King t' OwO attach Lord ;;w;; Montacute ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< bodies 
Of x3 the Duke's confessow, John UwU de UwU wa Car, 
x3 Onye ^w^ Giwbewt :33 Peck, :33 his chancewwow- 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. So, so! 
;;w;; These OwO awe x3 the x3 wimbs ^.^ o' x3 th' :33 pwot; nyo >_> mowe, UwU I ^-^ hope. 
:33 BWANDON. ^-^ A >w< monk ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; Chawtweux. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_< O, uWu Nyichowas Hopkins? 
:33 BWANDON. He. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My >_> suwveyow >_> is >w< fawse. uWu The >_> o'ew-gweat Cardinal 
>_< Hath ^w^ show'd ^.^ him x3 gowd; x3 my >w< wife >_> is >_< spann'd >_< awweady. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the :3 shadow of poor ;;w;; Buckingham, 
>_< Whose xDD figuwe even ÚwÚ this x3 instant ;;w;; cwoud puts on 
^-^ By dark'ning x3 my ^-^ cweaw OwO sun. OwO My uWu wowd, farewell. 
Exeunt 




^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The Counciw >w< Chambew 

^-^ Cownyets. Entew ;;w;; KING >_> HENWY, weanying on x3 the CAWDINyAW'S shouwdew, x3 the >_> NyOBWES, 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW THOMAS LOVELL, with ÚwÚ othews. uWu The x3 CAWDINyAW pwaces >_< himsewf 
:33 undew x3 the KING'S ;;w;; feet on :33 his >w< wight x3 side 

>w< KING. OwO My >w< wife itself, ÚwÚ and x3 the best >_< heawt of :33 it, 
x3 Thanks xDD you fow ÚwÚ this great ;;w;; cawe; UwU I :33 stood :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ wevew 
Of :3 a ^w^ fuww-chawg'd >w< confedewacy, ÚwÚ and UwU give thanks 
;;w;; To xDD you :3 that chok'd :3 it. Let be ^w^ caww'd >w< befowe >_> us 
:33 That ÚwÚ gentweman of xDD Buckingham's. ^w^ In ÚwÚ pewson 
I'll hear :33 his >_< confessions ;;w;; justify; 
xDD And :33 point ^.^ by :33 point x3 the :3 tweasons of :33 his >_< mastew 
>w< He UwU shaww again wewate. 

^-^ A noise :33 within, :3 cwying >_> 'Woom fow x3 the >_> Queen!' 
Entew x3 the xDD QUEEN, UwU ushew'd ^.^ by x3 the DUKES ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SUFFOWK; ^.^ she ;;w;; knyeews. uWu The ;;w;; KING riseth 
from :33 his state, UwU takes her up, ^-^ kisses ÚwÚ and :3 pwaceth her 
^.^ by ^.^ him 

>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. Nyay, ^.^ we ^w^ must longer kneel: UwU I ^w^ am >w< suitow. 
>w< KING. Awise, ÚwÚ and OwO take :33 pwace ^.^ by >_> us. >_> Hawf x3 youw >_> suit 
xDD Nyevew xDD nyame to UwU us: xDD you uWu have half UwU ouw UwU powew. 
uWu The othew >_> moiety ere xDD you ^w^ ask >_> is ;;w;; given; 
Wepeat x3 youw :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and OwO take :3 it. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^-^ Thank x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
:33 That xDD you ^.^ wouwd wuv yourself, ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that wuv 
ÚwÚ Nyot unconsidered OwO weave x3 youw honour nor 
uWu The dignity of x3 youw office, >_> is x3 the :33 point 
Of x3 my ÚwÚ petition. 
>w< KING. xDD Wady >_> minye, ^-^ pwoceed. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. UwU I ^w^ am OwO sowicited, nyot ^.^ by :3 a ÚwÚ few, 
xDD And UwU those of true ^w^ condition, :3 that x3 youw subjects 
^w^ Awe uWu in great >w< gwievance: there uWu have :33 been commissions 
:3 Sent down ^-^ among x3 'em which hath >w< fwaw'd x3 the >_< heawt 
Of aww uWu theiw OwO woyawties; wherein, awthough, 
OwO My ÚwÚ good Lord Cardinal, ;;w;; they uWu vent xDD wepwoaches 
:3 Most bittewwy on xDD you >_< as ^w^ puttew-on 
Of these exactions, yet x3 the ^w^ King UwU ouw x3 mastew- 
>_< Whose honour uWu Heaven OwO shiewd from soil!-even ^.^ he xDD escapes nyot 
:3 Wanguage unmannerly; >w< yea, xDD such which >_< bweaks 
uWu The >w< sides of OwO woyawty, ÚwÚ and almost >_> appeaws 
^w^ In ÚwÚ woud rebellion. 
NyOWFOWK. ÚwÚ Nyot almost appeaws- 
^.^ It xDD doth appear; for, ;;w;; upon these :3 taxations, 
uWu The xDD cwothiews all, nyot able to ÚwÚ maintain 
uWu The UwU many to them 'wonging, uWu have put of 
uWu The UwU spinstews, carders, fuwwews, weavers, who 
UwU Unfit fow othew :3 wife, OwO compeww'd ^.^ by :33 hungew 
xDD And ^.^ wack of othew >_< means, uWu in despewate ^w^ mannyew 
^w^ Dawing x3 th' event to x3 th' teeth, OwO awe aww uWu in upwoaw, 
xDD And danger sewves ^-^ among OwO them. 
>w< KING. Taxation! 
>_> Whewein? ÚwÚ and >_> what >_> taxation? OwO My Lord Cardinal, 
>_> You :3 that OwO awe x3 bwam'd fow >w< it :33 awike with us, 
xDD Knyow xDD you of ÚwÚ this >_> taxation? 
^.^ WOWSEY. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> but of :3 a :3 singwe ÚwÚ pawt uWu in ^.^ aught 
Pewtains to x3 th' state, ÚwÚ and >w< fwont >_> but uWu in :3 that file 
Whewe ;;w;; othews tell steps with x3 me. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. :3 Nyo, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
>_> You ^.^ knyow nyo ^.^ mowe than others! OwO But xDD you fwame 
^w^ Things :3 that OwO awe ÚwÚ knyown xDD awike, which OwO awe nyot whowesome 
;;w;; To UwU those which ^.^ wouwd nyot ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and yet ^w^ must 
:33 Pewfowce be uWu theiw ÚwÚ acquaintance. ;;w;; These exactions, 
:3 Wheweof x3 my suvweign ^.^ wouwd uWu have :3 nyote, ;;w;; they OwO awe 
:3 Most pestilent to x3 th' OwO heawing; ÚwÚ and to UwU beaw x3 'em 
uWu The back >_> is sacrifice to x3 th' uWu woad. ^-^ They >_> say 
^-^ They OwO awe :3 devis'd ^.^ by UwU you, ow >_> ewse xDD you suffew 
Too x3 hawd >w< an ^-^ excwamation. 
>w< KING. UwU Stiww ^w^ exaction! 
uWu The ÚwÚ nyatuwe of :33 it? ^w^ In >_> what ;;w;; kind, >_> wet's knyow, 
Is ÚwÚ this exaction? 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. UwU I ^w^ am much ^w^ too >w< ventuwous 
^w^ In >_< tempting of x3 youw patience, >_> but ^w^ am bold'ned 
;;w;; Undew x3 youw pwomis'd pardon. uWu The >w< subjects' grief 
UwU Comes ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ commissions, which compews from >_< each 
uWu The uWu sixth ÚwÚ pawt of :33 his ÚwÚ substance, to be ^w^ wevied 
Without >_< deway; ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< pwetence fow ÚwÚ this 
Is nyam'd x3 youw UwU waws uWu in Fwance. This x3 makes bold UwU mouths; 
UwU Tongues spit uWu theiw >_> duties ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and UwU cowd heawts UwU fweeze 
:3 Awwegiance uWu in OwO them; uWu theiw cuwses nyow 
Wive :3 whewe uWu theiw >_< pwayews ^.^ did; ÚwÚ and x3 it's come to pass 
This tractable ^.^ obedience >_> is :3 a ;;w;; swave 
;;w;; To >_< each uWu incensed :33 wiww. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
Wouwd UwU give >w< it ^w^ quick ;;w;; considewation, fow 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo ^w^ pwimew business. 
>w< KING. ^-^ By x3 my :3 wife, 
This >_> is OwO against UwU ouw pleasure. 
^.^ WOWSEY. xDD And fow uWu me, 
UwU I uWu have nyo further >_> gonye uWu in ÚwÚ this than ^.^ by 
^-^ A :3 singwe voice; ÚwÚ and :3 that nyot :33 pass'd ;;w;; me >_> but 
^-^ By :33 weawnyed :33 appwobation of x3 the uWu judges. ;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ am 
uWu Twaduc'd ^.^ by ÚwÚ ignyowant tongues, which :3 nyeithew ^.^ knyow 
OwO My faculties nor pewson, yet xDD wiww be 
uWu The >w< chwonyicwes of x3 my >_< doing, wet ;;w;; me >_> say 
'Tis >_> but x3 the fate of pwace, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO wough bwake 
:33 That viwtue ^w^ must OwO go thwough. We ^w^ must nyot ÚwÚ stint 
Our ^.^ nyecessawy ;;w;; actions uWu in x3 the feaw 
;;w;; To cope :3 mawicious censurers, which OwO evew 
;;w;; As rav'nous fishes UwU do :3 a vessel ;;w;; fowwow 
:33 That >_> is ^.^ nyew-twimm'd, >_> but ^-^ benyefit nyo further 
Than vainwy longing. >_> What ^.^ we ;;w;; oft UwU do ^w^ best, 
^-^ By >w< sick intewpwetews, >_> once xDD weak onyes, >_> is 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_> ouws, ow nyot allow'd; >_> what ^.^ wowst, >_< as ;;w;; oft 
OwO Hitting :3 a gwossew :3 quawity, >_> is cried x3 up 
For UwU ouw best act. ;;w;; If ^.^ we UwU shaww stand still, 
^w^ In feaw UwU ouw >_> motion xDD wiww be mock'd ow :3 cawp'd :3 at, 
We >_> shouwd OwO take ^.^ woot OwO hewe :3 whewe ^.^ we ^.^ sit, ow sit 
>w< State-statues onwy. 
>w< KING. ^w^ Things donye weww 
xDD And with :3 a :3 cawe >_> exempt x3 themsewves from ^w^ feaw: 
^w^ Things donye ^-^ without ^w^ exampwe, uWu in uWu theiw x3 issue 
^w^ Awe to be fear'd. :3 Have xDD you :3 a xDD pwecedent 
Of ÚwÚ this commission? UwU I :33 bewieve, nyot ÚwÚ any. 
We ^w^ must nyot rend UwU ouw subjects from UwU ouw ^-^ waws, 
xDD And OwO stick them uWu in UwU ouw :33 wiww. Sixth ÚwÚ pawt of :33 each? 
^-^ A uWu twembwing >w< contwibution! Why, ^.^ we OwO take 
Fwom every twee lop, bawk, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ o' x3 th' :33 timbew; 
xDD And ^w^ though ^.^ we OwO weave >w< it with :3 a x3 woot, OwO thus ^.^ hack'd, 
uWu The ^w^ aiw xDD wiww ÚwÚ dwink x3 the sap. ;;w;; To every >_< county 
Whewe ÚwÚ this >_> is question'd >_> send UwU ouw x3 wettews with 
Fwee UwU pawdon to >_< each x3 man :3 that >_> has >w< denyied 
uWu The force of ÚwÚ this xDD commission. ÚwÚ Pway, wook tot; 
UwU I put >w< it to x3 youw >w< cawe. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^-^ [Aside to x3 the SECRETARY] ^-^ A ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
Let there be x3 wettews ^-^ wwit to every >w< shiwe 
Of x3 the >_< King's xDD gwace ÚwÚ and pardon. uWu The gwieved >w< commons 
:33 Hawdwy :33 conceive of me-wet >w< it be nyois'd 
:33 That ^w^ thwough UwU ouw >_< intewcession ÚwÚ this revokement 
xDD And UwU pawdon ^w^ comes. UwU I UwU shaww :3 anyon ;;w;; advise xDD you 
>w< Fuwthew uWu in x3 the ^w^ pwoceeding. uWu Exit SECWETAWY 

Entew SURVEYOR 

>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy :3 that x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Buckingham 
Is >w< wun uWu in x3 youw dispweasuwe. 
>w< KING. ^.^ It grieves many. 
uWu The ÚwÚ gentweman >_> is weawn'd ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU most OwO wawe speakew; 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_< nyonye ^.^ mowe bound; :33 his >w< twainying xDD such 
:33 That ^.^ he OwO may furnish ÚwÚ and instwuct great uWu teachews 
xDD And >_< nyevew >_> seek fow >_> aid x3 out of himself. ÚwÚ Yet see, 
x3 When these UwU so x3 nyobwe benyefits UwU shaww ^-^ pwuv 
ÚwÚ Nyot weww uWu dispos'd, x3 the ^-^ mind >_< gwowing >_> once >w< cowwupt, 
^-^ They turn to ^.^ vicious x3 fowms, ;;w;; ten times ^.^ mowe ugwy 
Than OwO evew ;;w;; they :3 wewe >_< faiw. This x3 man UwU so x3 compwete, 
Who UwU was enroll'd ^w^ 'mongst OwO wondews, ÚwÚ and when :33 we, 
Awmost with UwU wavish'd ^-^ wist'nying, couwd nyot find 
ÚwÚ His >_> houw of ÚwÚ speech :3 a ^w^ minyute-he, x3 my UwU wady, 
>_< Hath x3 into monstwous :3 habits put x3 the uWu gwaces 
:33 That >_> once :3 wewe his, ÚwÚ and >_> is :33 become >_< as black 
;;w;; As >_> if ;;w;; besmeaw'd uWu in uWu heww. xDD Sit ^.^ by us; xDD you UwU shaww ^-^ heaw- 
This UwU was :33 his ÚwÚ gentweman uWu in x3 twust-of ^.^ him 
^w^ Things to strike honour OwO sad. x3 Bid ^.^ him ^w^ wecount 
uWu The ^w^ fowe-wecited practices, xDD wheweof 
We ;;w;; cannyot x3 feew ^w^ too UwU wittwe, hear ^w^ too :33 much. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ;;w;; Stand ^-^ fowth, ÚwÚ and with bold ^w^ spiwit wewate >_> what UwU you, 
:3 Most ^.^ wike :3 a careful uWu subject, uWu have collected 
UwU Out of x3 the >w< Duke of ^w^ Buckingham. 
>w< KING. ^w^ Speak x3 fweewy. 
SUWVEYOW. ^.^ Fiwst, >w< it UwU was ^.^ usuaw with xDD him-evewy day 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ infect :33 his speech-that >_> if x3 the ^w^ King 
Should ^-^ without x3 issue >_> die, he'ww carry >w< it UwU so 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the sceptre ÚwÚ his. ;;w;; These xDD vewy wowds 
ÚwÚ I've heard ^.^ him :33 uttew to :33 his x3 son-in-waw, 
Lord Aberga'ny, to ÚwÚ whom ^.^ by ^-^ oath ^.^ he xDD menyac'd 
xDD Wevenge ;;w;; upon x3 the Cawdinyaw. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ÚwÚ Pwease x3 youw >w< Highnyess, ^-^ nyote 
This uWu dangewous OwO conception uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO point: 
ÚwÚ Nyot friended ^.^ by :33 his wish, to x3 youw xDD high ÚwÚ pewson 
ÚwÚ His xDD wiww >_> is UwU most mawignyant, ÚwÚ and >w< it stwetches 
^.^ Beyond xDD you to x3 youw fwiends. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. OwO My weawn'd Lord Cardinal, 
Deliver aww with charity. 
>w< KING. ^w^ Speak :3 on. 
How >_< gwounded ^.^ he :33 his ;;w;; titwe to x3 the >_< cwown 
>_> Upon UwU ouw fail? ;;w;; To ÚwÚ this :33 point x3 hast xDD thou heard ^.^ him 
At xDD any time speak ÚwÚ aught? 
SUWVEYOW. >w< He UwU was ^.^ bwought to ÚwÚ this 
^-^ By :3 a :33 vain prophecy of uWu Nyichowas Henton. 
>w< KING. >_> What UwU was :3 that :33 Henton? 
SUWVEYOW. UwU Siw, :3 a x3 Chawtweux >_< fwiaw, 
ÚwÚ His confessow, who ÚwÚ fed ^.^ him every minyute 
With wowds of suvweignty. 
>w< KING. How ^w^ knyow'st xDD thou :3 this? 
SUWVEYOW. ÚwÚ Nyot ^-^ wong >w< befowe x3 youw >_> Highnyess sped to >_< Fwance, 
uWu The >w< Duke ^.^ being uWu at x3 the Rose, within x3 the x3 pawish 
Saint >_< Wawwence Poultney, uWu did of ;;w;; me ;;w;; demand 
>_> What UwU was x3 the ÚwÚ speech ^-^ among x3 the ^-^ Wondonyews 
^w^ Concewnying x3 the OwO Fwench jouwnyey. UwU I replied 
OwO Men feaw'd x3 the OwO Fwench ^.^ wouwd ^-^ pwuv :33 pewfidious, 
;;w;; To x3 the >_< King's danger. Pwesentwy x3 the >w< Duke 
:33 Said uWu 'twas x3 the feaw ÚwÚ indeed ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ he xDD doubted 
;;w;; 'Twouwd ^-^ pwuv x3 the ^w^ vewity of xDD cewtain wowds 
OwO Spoke ^.^ by :3 a >w< howy >w< monk x3 'that >_> oft' ;;w;; says ^.^ he 
>_> 'Hath sent to uWu me, x3 wishing ;;w;; me to >_< pewmit 
John UwU de UwU wa Car, x3 my ^-^ chapwain, :3 a UwU choice >_> houw 
;;w;; To hear from ^.^ him :3 a ;;w;; mattew of x3 some >w< moment; 
;;w;; Whom ÚwÚ aftew :33 undew x3 the ÚwÚ confession's UwU seaw 
>w< He OwO sowemnwy xDD had sworn :3 that >_> what ^.^ he ^-^ spoke 
OwO My chaplain to nyo creature UwU wiving >_> but 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me >_> shouwd utter, with >_> demuwe :3 confidence 
This >_< pausingwy ^w^ ensu'd: "Neither x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ nyow's >_> heiws, 
Teww xDD you x3 the ;;w;; Duke, UwU shaww pwospew; bid ^.^ him strive 
;;w;; To ^.^ gain x3 the wuv ^.^ o' x3 th' commonalty; x3 the >w< Duke 
Shall >_< guvwn England."' 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. ;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you weww, 
>_> You :3 wewe x3 the Duke's x3 suwveyow, ÚwÚ and wost x3 youw ^.^ office 
On x3 the ^w^ compwaint ^.^ o' x3 th' tenyants. ^.^ Take ÚwÚ good :3 heed 
>_> You :3 chawge nyot uWu in x3 youw UwU spween :3 a x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ pewson 
xDD And :33 spoiw x3 youw >w< nyobwew ^-^ souw. UwU I say, OwO take ^w^ heed; 
Yes, UwU heawtiwy :33 beseech OwO you. 
>w< KING. Let ^.^ him :3 on. 
Go :33 fowwawd. 
SUWVEYOW. On x3 my x3 souw, I'll speak >_> but truth. 
UwU I told x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the ;;w;; Duke, ^.^ by x3 th' >_> deviw's illusions 
uWu The >w< monk ^w^ might be ^.^ deceiv'd, ÚwÚ and :3 that uWu 'twas uWu dangewous 
fow ^.^ him 
;;w;; To >_< wuminyate on ÚwÚ this UwU so far, ÚwÚ untiw 
^.^ It ÚwÚ fowg'd ^.^ him x3 some :33 design, ^w^ which, ^.^ being uWu bewiev'd, 
^.^ It UwU was much ^.^ wike to xDD do. >w< He x3 answew'd 'Tush, 
^.^ It ^.^ can UwU do ;;w;; me nyo >w< damage'; adding further 
^.^ That, xDD had x3 the ^w^ King uWu in :33 his >w< wast sicknyess fail'd, 
uWu The ;;w;; Cawdinyaw's ÚwÚ and Sir Thomas >w< Wuvww's heads 
Should uWu have >_> gonye off. 
>w< KING. uWu Ha! x3 what, UwU so ;;w;; wank? Ah :33 ha! 
>_> Thewe's ^-^ mischief uWu in ÚwÚ this man. ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou >_> say further? 
SUWVEYOW. UwU I ^-^ can, x3 my OwO wiege. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; Pwoceed. 
SUWVEYOW. uWu Being uWu at ^-^ Gweenwich, 
>w< Aftew x3 youw >_> Highnyess xDD had >w< wepwov'd x3 the >w< Duke 
About Sir ;;w;; Wiwwiam ^w^ Buwmew- 
>w< KING. UwU I remember 
Of xDD such :3 a time: ^.^ being x3 my sworn uWu sewvant, 
uWu The >w< Duke wetain'd ^.^ him ÚwÚ his. OwO But on: >_> what >_< hence? 
SUWVEYOW. :33 'If' quoth ^.^ he ÚwÚ 'I fow ÚwÚ this xDD had :33 been ^.^ committed- 
;;w;; As to x3 the ^-^ Towew UwU I thought-I ^.^ wouwd uWu have pway'd 
uWu The ÚwÚ pawt x3 my >w< fathew meant to ;;w;; act ;;w;; upon 
xDD Th' usurper ;;w;; Wichawd; who, ^.^ being uWu at >_> Sawisbuwy, 
Made >_> suit to come in's >_> pwesence, which >_> if ^-^ gwanted, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he UwU made ÚwÚ sembwance of :33 his >_< duty, ^.^ wouwd 
:3 Have put :33 his knyife x3 into >_< him.' 
>w< KING. ^-^ A giant twaitow! 
^.^ WOWSEY. >_> Nyow, UwU madam, OwO may :33 his >_> Highnyess ^w^ wive uWu in ^w^ fweedom, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this x3 man x3 out of UwU pwison? 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^w^ God mend :33 aww! 
>w< KING. >_> Thewe's ^-^ something ^.^ mowe ^.^ wouwd x3 out of >_< thee: >_> what ^w^ say'st? 
SUWVEYOW. >w< Aftew ÚwÚ 'the >w< Duke :33 his ;;w;; fathew' with x3 the >_< 'knyife,' 
>w< He ;;w;; stwetch'd :3 him, x3 and, with one uWu hand on :33 his x3 daggew, 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ;;w;; spwead UwU on's UwU bweast, ^w^ mounting :33 his ^w^ eyes, 
>w< He uWu did ;;w;; dischawge :3 a howwibwe ;;w;; oath, x3 whose ;;w;; tenyouw 
Was, :3 wewe ^.^ he eviw >w< us'd, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd ^w^ outgo 
ÚwÚ His >w< fathew ^.^ by >_< as much >_< as :3 a :3 pewfowmance 
ÚwÚ Does >w< an irresolute puwpose. 
>w< KING. >_> Thewe's :33 his period, 
;;w;; To :3 sheath :33 his knyife uWu in >_> us. >w< He >_> is attach'd; 
;;w;; Caww ^.^ him to xDD pwesent trial. ;;w;; If ^.^ he OwO may 
UwU Find xDD mewcy uWu in x3 the waw, UwU 'tis ^w^ his; >_> if nyonye, 
Let ^.^ him nyot seek't of >_> us. ^-^ By day ÚwÚ and night! 
He's traitor to x3 th' >w< height. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the >w< WOWD ^-^ CHAMBEWWAIN ÚwÚ and >w< WOWD SANDYS 

;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. ^-^ Is't OwO possibwe x3 the spewws of Fwance >_> shouwd ^-^ juggwe 
OwO Men x3 into xDD such ;;w;; stwange ^w^ mystewies? 
^.^ SANDYS. xDD Nyew :33 customs, 
;;w;; Though ;;w;; they be >_< nyevew UwU so widicuwous, 
Nyay, wet x3 'em be ^-^ unmanwy, yet OwO awe UwU fowwow'd. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. ;;w;; As uWu faw >_< as UwU I see, aww x3 the ÚwÚ good UwU ouw :3 Engwish 
:3 Have ^w^ got ^.^ by x3 the wate ^w^ voyage >_> is >_> but mewewy 
^-^ A ;;w;; fit ow >w< two ^.^ o' x3 th' face; >_> but ;;w;; they OwO awe shrewd :33 onyes; 
For when ;;w;; they howd 'em, xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_< sweaw xDD diwectwy 
^-^ Theiw xDD vewy :33 nyoses xDD had :33 been ;;w;; counsewwows 
;;w;; To Pepin ow ÚwÚ Cwothawius, ;;w;; they >_< keep >w< state :3 so. 
^.^ SANDYS. ^-^ They uWu have aww x3 nyew ^.^ wegs, ÚwÚ and :3 wame ÚwÚ onyes. x3 Onye ^.^ wouwd OwO take :33 it, 
:33 That >_< nyevew saw x3 'em >_> pace x3 befowe, x3 the spavin 
:33 Ow springhalt x3 weign'd ^-^ among ^.^ 'em. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. xDD Death! x3 my uWu wowd, 
^-^ Theiw x3 cwothes OwO awe ÚwÚ aftew xDD such :3 a :33 pagan :3 cut >_> to't, 
:33 That >_< suwe x3 th' uWu have wown x3 out Chwistendom. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW THOMAS :3 WOVEWW 

How ^.^ nyow? 
>_> What news, Sir Thomas >w< Wuvww? 
^.^ WOVEWW. Faith, x3 my uWu wowd, 
UwU I hear of >_< nyonye >_> but x3 the x3 nyew pwocwamation 
>w< That's ^-^ cwapp'd ;;w;; upon x3 the court uWu gate. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. >_> What :3 is't for? 
^.^ WOVEWW. uWu The :33 wefowmation of UwU ouw ^w^ twaveww'd :3 gawwants, 
:33 That ^w^ fiww x3 the court with quarrels, talk, ÚwÚ and UwU taiwows. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad UwU 'tis :33 thewe. Now UwU I ^.^ wouwd pray UwU ouw monsieurs 
;;w;; To think >w< an :3 Engwish couwtiew OwO may be >_< wise, 
xDD And >_< nyevew >_> see x3 the ^w^ Wouvwe. 
^.^ WOVEWW. ^-^ They ^w^ must ^-^ eithew, 
For UwU so >w< wun x3 the conditions, OwO weave UwU those ^-^ wemnyants 
Of >w< foow ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ feathew :3 that ;;w;; they ^w^ got uWu in >_< Fwance, 
With aww uWu theiw ^.^ honyouwabwe x3 points of ÚwÚ ignyowance 
x3 Pewtainying xDD theweunto-as >_< fights ÚwÚ and fiwewowks; 
x3 Abusing xDD bettew ;;w;; men than ;;w;; they ^.^ can be, 
UwU Out of :3 a :33 foweign :3 wisdom-wenyouncing x3 cwean 
uWu The :33 faith ;;w;; they uWu have uWu in xDD tennyis, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; taww stockings, 
Short ÚwÚ bwist'wed :3 bweeches, ÚwÚ and UwU those ^w^ types of travel 
xDD And understand again ^.^ wike xDD honyest men, 
:33 Ow OwO pack to uWu theiw ;;w;; owd playfellows. There, UwU I OwO take :33 it, 
^-^ They may, ^w^ cum ^.^ pwiviwegio, ^-^ weaw OwO away 
uWu The lag >w< end of uWu theiw >_< wewdnyess ÚwÚ and be >_< waugh'd at. 
^.^ SANDYS. 'Tis time to UwU give x3 'em x3 physic, uWu theiw ^-^ diseases 
^w^ Awe grown UwU so OwO catching. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. >_> What :3 a ^-^ woss UwU ouw ^.^ wadies 
Will uWu have of these ÚwÚ twim ^-^ vanyities! 
^.^ WOVEWW. Ay, marry, 
>_> Thewe xDD wiww be woe :33 indeed, lords: x3 the sly ^w^ whowesons 
:3 Have ^w^ got :3 a ^.^ speeding twick to uWu way down wadies. 
^-^ A OwO Fwench ÚwÚ song ÚwÚ and :3 a fiddle >_> has nyo UwU fewwow. 
^.^ SANDYS. uWu The ^.^ deviw fiddle OwO 'em! UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad ;;w;; they OwO awe ^-^ going, 
For >_< suwe there's nyo :3 convewting ^.^ 'em. Now 
^-^ An xDD honyest countwy uWu wowd, >_< as UwU I am, beaten 
^-^ A ^-^ wong time x3 out of ^.^ pway, OwO may ;;w;; bwing :33 his :33 pwainsong 
xDD And uWu have >w< an >_> houw of OwO heawing; x3 and, :33 by'w Lady, 
Hewd :3 cuwwent uWu music UwU too. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. Weww said, Lord Sandys; 
uWu Youw cowt's ^.^ tooth >_> is nyot ;;w;; cast >_> yet. 
^.^ SANDYS. :3 Nyo, x3 my uWu wowd, 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww nyot OwO whiwe UwU I uWu have :3 a >w< stamp. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. Sir Thomas, 
x3 Whithew :3 wewe xDD you :3 a-going? 
^.^ WOVEWW. ;;w;; To x3 the xDD Cawdinyaw's; 
uWu Youw OwO wowdship >_> is :3 a uWu guest UwU too. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. >_< O, UwU 'tis true; 
This >w< nyight ^.^ he x3 makes :3 a :3 suppew, ÚwÚ and :3 a great one, 
;;w;; To UwU many wowds ÚwÚ and ^w^ wadies; there xDD wiww be 
uWu The beauty of ÚwÚ this :33 kingdom, I'll :33 assuwe OwO you. 
^.^ WOVEWW. :33 That chuwchman bears :3 a ^.^ bounteous ^-^ mind :33 indeed, 
^-^ A uWu hand >_< as :33 fwuitfuw >_< as x3 the ÚwÚ wand :3 that xDD feeds us; 
ÚwÚ His dews faww :3 evewywhewe. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. No doubt uWu he's noble; 
>w< He xDD had :3 a black xDD mouth :3 that uWu said othew of ^.^ him. 
^.^ SANDYS. >w< He may, x3 my wowd; >_> has ^.^ whewewithaw. ^w^ In ^.^ him 
Sparing ^.^ wouwd x3 show :3 a xDD wowse x3 sin than :33 iww doctrine: 
OwO Men of :33 his uWu way >_> shouwd be UwU most liberal, 
^-^ They OwO awe uWu set OwO hewe fow examples. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. >_< Twue, ;;w;; they OwO awe so; 
OwO But x3 few nyow UwU give UwU so great ÚwÚ onyes. OwO My barge ^-^ stays; 
uWu Youw OwO wowdship UwU shaww >_> awong. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ good Sir Thomas, 
We UwU shaww be wate ewse; which UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be, 
For UwU I UwU was ^-^ spoke ^.^ to, with Sir Henwy OwO Guiwdfowd, 
This >w< nyight to be comptrollers. 
^.^ SANDYS. UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw ÚwÚ wowdship's. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The Presence >w< Chambew uWu in York :3 Pwace 

:3 Hautboys. ^-^ A UwU smaww tabwe :33 undew :3 a >w< state fow x3 the Cardinal, 
:3 a longer tabwe fow x3 the guests. UwU Then enter >w< ANNyE ^w^ BUWWEN, 
ÚwÚ and divers othew :3 WADIES ÚwÚ and UwU GENTWEMEN, >_< as :3 guests, uWu at one door; 
uWu at anyothew doow enter ÚwÚ SIW OwO HENWY x3 GUIWDFOWD 

GUILDFORD. Ladies, :3 a general wewcome from :33 his Gwace 
Sawutes OwO ye aww; ÚwÚ this >w< nyight ^.^ he ÚwÚ dedicates 
;;w;; To >w< faiw :3 content ÚwÚ and OwO you. ^-^ Nyonye UwU hewe, ^.^ he hopes, 
^w^ In aww ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe ;;w;; bevy, >_> has ^.^ bwought with her 
x3 Onye :3 cawe abwoad; ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have aww >_< as ^.^ mewwy 
As, ÚwÚ fiwst, ÚwÚ good xDD company, ÚwÚ good wine, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wewcome, 
UwU Can >_< make ÚwÚ good ^-^ peopwe. 

Entew >w< WOWD OwO CHAMBEWWAIN, >w< WOWD SANDYS, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW 
THOMAS :3 WOVEWW 

>_< O, x3 my uWu wowd, ;;w;; y'awe OwO tawdy, 
uWu The xDD vewy xDD thought of ÚwÚ this >w< faiw >_< company 
OwO Cwapp'd x3 wings to x3 me. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. >_> You OwO awe >_> young, Sir ÚwÚ Hawwy Guiwdfowd. 
^.^ SANDYS. Sir Thomas >_> Wuvww, xDD had x3 the Cardinal 
OwO But half x3 my uWu way >_< thoughts uWu in :3 him, x3 some of these 
Should find :3 a wunnying :33 banquet ere ;;w;; they UwU wested 
UwU I think ^.^ wouwd xDD bettew uWu pwease ^.^ 'em. ^-^ By x3 my :3 wife, 
^-^ They OwO awe :3 a x3 sweet >w< society of >w< faiw ÚwÚ onyes. 
^.^ WOVEWW. x3 O :3 that x3 youw OwO wowdship :3 wewe >_> but nyow confessor 
;;w;; To one ow >w< two of UwU these! 
^.^ SANDYS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I were; 
^-^ They >_> shouwd find ^w^ easy penyance. 
^.^ WOVEWW. Faith, >w< how xDD easy? 
^.^ SANDYS. ;;w;; As ^w^ easy >_< as :3 a down x3 bed ^.^ wouwd UwU affowd :3 it. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. ÚwÚ Sweet x3 wadies, xDD wiww >w< it uWu pwease xDD you >w< sit? Sir ^w^ Hawwy, 
:3 Pwace xDD you :3 that x3 side; I'll OwO take x3 the :3 chawge of UwU this. 
ÚwÚ His Gwace >_> is ent'wing. Nyay, xDD you ^w^ must nyot >_> fweeze: 
Two x3 women pwac'd togethew x3 makes UwU cowd weather. 
OwO My Lord Sandys, xDD you OwO awe one xDD wiww >_< keep x3 'em >_> waking: 
>_> Pway sit ^-^ between these wadies. 
^.^ SANDYS. ^-^ By x3 my ^w^ faith, 
xDD And >_> thank x3 youw wowdship. ^-^ By x3 youw weave, x3 sweet wadies. 
>_> [Seats >_< himsewf ^-^ between >w< ANNyE BULLEN ÚwÚ and anyothew ^w^ wady] 
;;w;; If UwU I chance to tawk :3 a xDD wittwe ^w^ wiwd, :33 fowgive OwO me; 
UwU I xDD had >w< it from x3 my :33 fathew. 
ANNE. Was ^.^ he mad, UwU siw? 
^.^ SANDYS. >_< O, xDD vewy mad, :33 exceeding mad, uWu in wuv UwU too. 
OwO But ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd ^-^ bite x3 nyonye; >w< just >_< as UwU I UwU do now, 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd :3 kiss xDD you ÚwÚ twenty with :3 a >_< bweath. ^.^ [Kisses :3 hew] 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. Weww said, x3 my OwO wowd. 
So, nyow ;;w;; y'awe ^.^ faiwwy seated. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, 
uWu The >_< penyance wies on xDD you >_> if these >w< faiw ^.^ wadies 
ÚwÚ Pass OwO away frowning. 
^.^ SANDYS. For x3 my xDD wittwe ÚwÚ cuwe, 
Let ;;w;; me >_< awonye. 

:3 Hautboys. Entew x3 CAWDINyAW WOWSEY, ^.^ attended; ÚwÚ and 
UwU takes :33 his >w< state 

^.^ WOWSEY. Y'awe ;;w;; wewcome, x3 my >w< faiw guests. :33 That x3 nyobwe uWu wady 
:33 Ow ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that >_> is nyot freely ^.^ mewwy 
Is nyot x3 my :3 fwiend. >w< This, to :33 confiwm x3 my wewcome- 
xDD And to xDD you all, ÚwÚ good health! [Drinks] 
^.^ SANDYS. uWu Youw Gwace >_> is noble. 
Let ;;w;; me uWu have xDD such :3 a >w< boww OwO may howd x3 my thanks 
xDD And :3 save ;;w;; me UwU so much tawking. 
^.^ WOWSEY. OwO My Lord Sandys, 
UwU I ^w^ am beholding to OwO you. Cheer x3 youw ^.^ nyeighbouws. 
Ladies, xDD you OwO awe nyot x3 mewwy. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, 
>_< Whose ;;w;; fauwt >_> is :3 this? 
^.^ SANDYS. uWu The red winye xDD fiwst ^w^ must rise 
^w^ In uWu theiw >w< faiw cheeks, x3 my wowd; xDD then ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have x3 'em 
Talk >_> us to x3 siwence. 
ANNE. >_> You OwO awe :3 a ^.^ mewwy UwU gamestew, 
OwO My Lord ^-^ Sandys. 
^.^ SANDYS. Yes, >_> if UwU I >_< make x3 my play. 
>_> Hewe's to x3 youw wadyship; ÚwÚ and >_< pwedge :33 it, UwU madam, 
For UwU 'tis to xDD such :3 a xDD thing- 
ANNE. >_> You ;;w;; cannyot x3 show x3 me. 
^.^ SANDYS. UwU I told x3 youw Gwace ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd tawk x3 anyon. 
[Drum ÚwÚ and twumpet. uWu Chambews dischawg'd] 
^.^ WOWSEY. x3 What's ^-^ that? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. Wook x3 out thewe, x3 some of uWu ye. uWu Exit :3 a SEWVANT 
^.^ WOWSEY. >_> What warlike voice, 
xDD And to >_> what ^w^ end, >_> is :3 this? Nyay, x3 wadies, feaw not: 
^-^ By aww x3 the UwU waws of >w< waw ;;w;; y'awe ^w^ pwiviweg'd. 

^.^ We-entew SEWVANT 

;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. How >_< nyow! >_> what is't? 
SEWVANT. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe troop of stwangews- 
For UwU so ;;w;; they x3 seem. xDD Th' uWu have left uWu theiw barge ÚwÚ and wanded, 
xDD And ÚwÚ hithew ;;w;; make, >_< as great ambassadors 
Fwom :33 foweign ;;w;; pwinces. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^-^ Good Lord Chambewwain, 
^w^ Go, UwU give x3 'em wewcome; xDD you ^.^ can speak x3 the OwO Fwench tongue; 
xDD And pray receive x3 'em ;;w;; nyobwy ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ conduct x3 'em 
^.^ Into UwU ouw >_> pwesence, :3 whewe ÚwÚ this heaven of beauty 
Shall shine uWu at full ;;w;; upon OwO them. ;;w;; Some >_< attend ^.^ him. 
uWu Exit ^-^ CHAMBEWWAIN ÚwÚ attended. All >_< wise, ÚwÚ and :33 tabwes >w< wemov'd 
>_> You uWu have nyow :3 a xDD bwoken banquet, >_> but we'll mend :3 it. 
^-^ A ÚwÚ good digestion to xDD you aww; ÚwÚ and >_> once ^.^ mowe 
UwU I OwO show'w :3 a wewcome on ye; wewcome all. 

:3 Hautboys. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, >_< as UwU maskews, 
UwU habited ^.^ wike ÚwÚ shephewds, UwU ushew'd ^.^ by x3 the >w< WOWD ;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. 
^-^ They pass xDD diwectwy >w< befowe x3 the CARDINAL, 
ÚwÚ and ^w^ gwacefuwwy OwO sawute ^.^ him 

^-^ A x3 nyobwe ;;w;; company! >_> What OwO awe uWu theiw pweasuwes? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. >_< Because ;;w;; they speak nyo Engwish, OwO thus ;;w;; they pray'd 
;;w;; To tell x3 youw >_> Gwace, :3 that, xDD having heard ^.^ by fame 
Of ÚwÚ this UwU so x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and UwU so >w< faiw assembly 
This >w< nyight to :3 meet UwU hewe, ;;w;; they couwd UwU do nyo UwU wess, 
UwU Out of x3 the great wespect ;;w;; they UwU beaw to >w< beauty, 
OwO But OwO weave uWu theiw flocks x3 and, :33 undew x3 youw >w< faiw x3 conduct, 
Cwave OwO weave to x3 view these ^.^ wadies ÚwÚ and entweat 
^-^ An >_> houw of :3 wevews with ^.^ 'em. 
^.^ WOWSEY. Say, Lord Chambewwain, 
^-^ They uWu have donye x3 my poor ;;w;; house >w< gwace; fow which UwU I x3 pay x3 'em 
^-^ A thousand thanks, ÚwÚ and pray x3 'em OwO take uWu theiw xDD pweasuwes. 
^w^ [They choose wadies. uWu The ;;w;; KING chooses >w< ANNyE ^-^ BUWWEN] 
>w< KING. uWu The >_> faiwest uWu hand UwU I OwO evew touch'd! x3 O >w< beauty, 
Tiww nyow UwU I >_< nyevew UwU knyew uWu thee! :33 [Music. :3 Dance] 
^.^ WOWSEY. OwO My ^.^ wowd! 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. uWu Youw Gwace? 
^.^ WOWSEY. >_> Pway tell x3 'em OwO thus much from ;;w;; me: 
>_> Thewe >_> shouwd be one amongst 'em, ^.^ by :33 his pewson, 
uWu Mowe ÚwÚ wowthy ÚwÚ this :33 pwace than >_< mysewf; to :33 whom, 
;;w;; If UwU I >_> but UwU knyew :3 him, with x3 my wuv ÚwÚ and >_> duty 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd suwwendew :3 it. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
[He :3 whispews to x3 the ^w^ maskews] 
^.^ WOWSEY. >_> What >_> say >w< they? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. >w< Such :3 a one, ;;w;; they aww >_> confess, 
>_> Thewe >_> is :33 indeed; which ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd uWu have x3 youw Gwace 
UwU Find ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he xDD wiww OwO take :3 it. 
^.^ WOWSEY. Let ;;w;; me see, UwU then. [Comes from :33 his >w< state] 
^-^ By aww x3 youw ÚwÚ good OwO weaves, xDD gentwemen, OwO hewe I'll >_< make 
OwO My royal >w< choice. 
>w< KING. [Unmasking] ^-^ Ye uWu have >_> found :3 him, Cawdinyaw. 
>_> You howd :3 a >w< faiw uWu assembwy; xDD you UwU do weww, OwO wowd. 
>_> You OwO awe :3 a OwO chuwchman, or, I'll tell UwU you, Cardinal, 
UwU I >_> shouwd OwO judge nyow unhappily. 
^.^ WOWSEY. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad 
uWu Youw Gwace >_> is grown UwU so ^.^ pweasant. 
>w< KING. OwO My Lord Chambewwain, 
UwU Pwithee come >_< hithew: >_> what >w< faiw >_> wady's ^-^ that? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. ;;w;; An't uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, Sir Thomas :33 Buwwen's 
daughtew- 
uWu The Viscount :33 Wochfowd-onye of her Highness' ^w^ women. 
>w< KING. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, ^.^ she >_> is :3 a UwU dainty onye. ÚwÚ Sweet uWu heawt, 
UwU I :3 wewe uWu unmannyewwy to OwO take xDD you x3 out 
xDD And nyot to :3 kiss OwO you. ^-^ A :33 heawth, gentlemen! 
Let >w< it OwO go wound. 
^.^ WOWSEY. Sir Thomas >_> Wuvww, >_> is x3 the :33 banquet ready 
xDD I' x3 th' privy :33 chambew? 
^.^ WOVEWW. Yes, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^.^ WOWSEY. uWu Youw >_> Gwace, 
UwU I ;;w;; feaw, with UwU dancing >_> is :3 a xDD wittwe OwO heated. 
>w< KING. UwU I ;;w;; feaw, ^w^ too :33 much. 
^.^ WOWSEY. >_> Thewe's ^-^ fweshew air, x3 my uWu wowd, 
^w^ In x3 the :3 nyext ^.^ chambew. 
>w< KING. xDD Wead uWu in x3 youw x3 wadies, OwO ev'wy onye. ÚwÚ Sweet pawtnyew, 
UwU I ^w^ must nyot yet ^w^ fowsake OwO you. :3 Wet's be ^-^ mewwy: 
^-^ Good x3 my Lord Cardinal, UwU I uWu have half :3 a ^.^ dozen :33 heawths 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ dwink to these >w< faiw x3 wadies, ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU measuwe 
;;w;; To lead x3 'em >_> once again; ÚwÚ and xDD then >_> wet's dweam 
Who's best uWu in UwU favouw. Let x3 the uWu music :3 knyock :3 it. 
^.^ Exeunt, with trumpets 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

UwU Westminstew. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew >w< two UwU GENTWEMEN, uWu at sevewaw x3 doows 

uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. x3 Whithew OwO away UwU so fast? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. >_< O, ^w^ God :3 save ;;w;; ye! 
Ev'n to x3 the x3 Haww, to hear >_> what UwU shaww :33 become 
Of x3 the great >w< Duke of ^w^ Buckingham. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. I'll :3 save xDD you 
:33 That wabouw, sir. ^-^ Aww's nyow donye >_> but x3 the ceremony 
Of x3 bwinging back x3 the ^w^ pwisonyew. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^.^ Wewe xDD you OwO thewe? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Yes, :33 indeed, UwU was ^.^ I. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ÚwÚ Pway, speak >_> what >_> has ^w^ happen'd. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. >_> You OwO may guess quickly what. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. Is ^.^ he >_> found xDD guiwty? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Yes, :33 twuwy >_> is xDD he, ÚwÚ and condemn'd :33 upon't. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy xDD fow't. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ^w^ So OwO awe :3 a ^w^ nyumbew more. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. But, pray, >w< how :33 pass'd :33 it? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. I'll tell xDD you uWu in :3 a ^.^ wittwe. uWu The great uWu Duke. 
>_< Came to x3 the bar; :3 whewe to :33 his ;;w;; accusations 
>w< He pleaded still nyot x3 guiwty, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ awweged 
xDD Many ^-^ shawp weasons to :3 defeat x3 the law. 
uWu The >_< King's attownyey, on x3 the >_< contwawy, 
Uwg'd on x3 the uWu examinyations, ;;w;; pwoofs, OwO confessions, 
Of divers >_< witnyesses; which x3 the >w< Duke desir'd 
;;w;; To uWu have brought, viva ^-^ voce, to :33 his face; 
At which appear'd OwO against ^.^ him :33 his x3 suwveyow, 
Sir ^w^ Giwbewt Peck :33 his >_> chancewwow, ÚwÚ and John Car, 
xDD Confessow to :3 him, with :3 that :3 deviw-monk, 
Hopkins, :3 that UwU made ÚwÚ this >w< mischief. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. :33 That UwU was ^.^ he 
:33 That ÚwÚ fed ^.^ him with :33 his >_> pwophecies? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. uWu The :33 same. 
All these ^-^ accus'd ^.^ him >w< stwongwy, which ^.^ he >_> fain 
Wouwd uWu have UwU fwung from him; >_> but ÚwÚ indeed ^.^ he couwd x3 nyot; 
xDD And UwU so :33 his ^-^ peews, ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this evidence, 
:3 Have >_> found ^.^ him guiwty of xDD high :3 tweason. Much 
>w< He ;;w;; spoke, ÚwÚ and learnedly, fow :33 wife; >_> but aww 
Was xDD eithew uWu pitied uWu in ^.^ him ow forgotten. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. >w< Aftew aww uWu this, >w< how uWu did ^.^ he UwU beaw him-self 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. x3 When ^.^ he UwU was ^.^ bwought again to x3 th' ^-^ baw to hear 
ÚwÚ His knell wung ^.^ out, :33 his ^.^ judgment, ^.^ he UwU was stirr'd 
With xDD such >w< an agony ^.^ he UwU sweat >_> extwemewy, 
xDD And ^-^ something ^-^ spoke uWu in ^w^ chowew, :33 iww ÚwÚ and hasty; 
OwO But ^.^ he UwU feww to >_< himsewf OwO again, ÚwÚ and sweetly 
^w^ In aww x3 the xDD west ^w^ show'd :3 a UwU most x3 nyobwe OwO patience. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I UwU do nyot think ^.^ he OwO feaws death. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Sure, ^.^ he does x3 nyot; 
>w< He >_< nyevew UwU was UwU so >_> womanyish; x3 the cause 
>w< He OwO may :3 a xDD wittwe UwU gwieve at. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU Cewtainwy 
uWu The Cardinal >_> is x3 the >w< end of UwU this. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. 'Tis :33 wikewy, 
^-^ By aww conjectures: ÚwÚ fiwst, Kildare's ;;w;; attaindew, 
UwU Then OwO deputy of ÚwÚ Iwewand, who remov'd, 
^-^ Eaww Surrey UwU was sent thithew, ÚwÚ and uWu in ^.^ haste :3 too, 
Lest ^.^ he >_> shouwd OwO hewp :33 his :33 fathew. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. :33 That twick of >w< state 
Was :3 a >_> deep envious onye. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. At :33 his ^-^ wetuwn 
No doubt ^.^ he xDD wiww :3 wequite :3 it. This >_> is :33 nyoted, 
xDD And :33 genyewawwy: ;;w;; whoevew x3 the ^w^ King ;;w;; favouws 
uWu The Cardinal instantly xDD wiww find employment, 
xDD And uWu faw enough from court UwU too. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. All x3 the >w< commons 
Hate ^.^ him perniciously, x3 and, ^.^ o' x3 my OwO conscience, 
^-^ Wish ^.^ him ;;w;; ten OwO fathom deep: ÚwÚ this >w< Duke >_< as much 
^-^ They wuv ÚwÚ and >_> dote xDD on; caww ^.^ him ^.^ bounteous ;;w;; Buckingham, 
uWu The mirror of aww ^w^ couwtesy- 

Entew BUCKINGHAM from :33 his arraignment, OwO tip-staves 
>w< befowe him; x3 the axe with x3 the UwU edge uWu towawds him; ÚwÚ hawbewds 
on >_< each x3 side; accompanyied with ÚwÚ SIW THOMAS 
LOVELL, ÚwÚ SIW NyICHOWAS >_< VAUX, ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM SANDYS, 
ÚwÚ and ^w^ common >_> peopwe, :33 etc. 

uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO Stay thewe, ^w^ siw, 
xDD And >_> see x3 the x3 nyobwe ;;w;; wuin'd x3 man xDD you speak uWu of. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. :3 Wet's stand cwose, ÚwÚ and behowd ^.^ him. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. All ÚwÚ good >_> peopwe, 
>_> You :3 that OwO thus uWu faw uWu have come to pity uWu me, 
>w< Heaw >_> what UwU I say, ÚwÚ and xDD then OwO go ^.^ home ÚwÚ and wose x3 me. 
UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ this day weceiv'd :3 a UwU twaitow's ^.^ judgment, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 that xDD nyame ^w^ must :3 die; ^w^ yet, heaven UwU beaw ^.^ witnyess, 
xDD And >_> if UwU I uWu have :3 a OwO conscience, wet >w< it sink ;;w;; me 
Even >_< as x3 the axe >_< fawws, >_> if UwU I be nyot faithful! 
uWu The law UwU I UwU beaw nyo malice fow x3 my :3 death: 
>_< 'T >_> has :33 donye, ;;w;; upon x3 the ^-^ pwemises, >_> but justice. 
OwO But UwU those :3 that >_< sought >w< it UwU I couwd ÚwÚ wish ^.^ mowe Chwistians. 
^w^ Be >_> what ;;w;; they :33 wiww, UwU I UwU heawtiwy :33 fowgive >w< 'em; 
ÚwÚ Yet wet x3 'em wook ;;w;; they :3 gwowy nyot uWu in ^-^ mischief 
x3 Nyow buiwd uWu theiw ;;w;; eviws on x3 the gwaves of great men, 
For xDD then x3 my ;;w;; guiwtwess :3 bwood ^w^ must cwy OwO against ^.^ 'em. 
For further >w< wife uWu in ÚwÚ this wowwd UwU I ^w^ nye'ew UwU hope 
x3 Nyow xDD wiww UwU I >_< sue, awthough x3 the ^w^ King uWu have mercies 
uWu Mowe than UwU I dawe >_< make x3 fauwts. >_> You x3 few :3 that :3 wov'd ;;w;; me 
xDD And dawe be bold to xDD weep fow ;;w;; Buckingham, 
ÚwÚ His x3 nyobwe ^w^ fwiends ÚwÚ and fewwows, ÚwÚ whom to OwO weave 
Is >w< onwy UwU bittew to :3 him, >w< onwy ÚwÚ dying, 
Go with ;;w;; me ^.^ wike ÚwÚ good ^-^ angews to x3 my ^w^ end; 
xDD And >_< as x3 the ^-^ wong :3 divowce of steew ^w^ fawws on ;;w;; me 
^-^ Make of x3 youw >_< pwayews one x3 sweet sacrifice, 
xDD And lift x3 my :3 souw to UwU heaven. xDD Wead ;;w;; on, :3 a >_> God's nyame. 
^.^ WOVEWW. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw >_> Gwace, fow chawity, 
;;w;; If OwO evew xDD any malice uWu in x3 youw >_< heawt 
^.^ Wewe >_< hid OwO against uWu me, nyow to :33 fowgive ;;w;; me >w< fwankwy. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Sir Thomas >_> Wuvww, UwU I >_< as fwee :33 fowgive xDD you 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ wouwd be forgiven. UwU I :33 fowgive all. 
>_> Thewe ;;w;; cannyot be UwU those numberless :3 offences 
^w^ 'Gainst ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO take uWu peace with. No black :3 envy 
Shall mark x3 my x3 gwave. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to :33 his Grace; 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ he speak of ;;w;; Buckingham, pray tell ^.^ him 
>_> You >w< met ^.^ him half uWu in UwU heaven. OwO My x3 vows ÚwÚ and >_< pwayews 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO awe x3 the :33 King's, x3 and, >w< tiww x3 my :3 souw forsake, 
Shall cwy fow bwessings on ^.^ him. ^-^ May ^.^ he ^w^ wive 
Wongew than UwU I uWu have time to tell :33 his uWu yeaws; 
^w^ Evew ÚwÚ bewov'd ÚwÚ and >w< woving OwO may :33 his UwU wuwe be; 
xDD And when ;;w;; owd time Shall lead ^.^ him to :33 his ^w^ end, 
>_< Goodnyess ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ^w^ fiww x3 up one xDD monyument! 
^.^ WOVEWW. ;;w;; To x3 th' UwU watew x3 side UwU I ^w^ must ÚwÚ conduct x3 youw Grace; 
UwU Then UwU give x3 my :3 chawge x3 up to Sir uWu Nyichowas >_< Vaux, 
Who undewtakes xDD you to x3 youw OwO end. 
UwU VAUX. Pwepawe uWu thewe; 
uWu The >w< Duke >_> is >w< coming; >_> see x3 the barge be weady; 
xDD And ;;w;; fit >w< it with xDD such xDD fuwnyituwe >_< as ^w^ suits 
uWu The :33 gweatnyess of :33 his person. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Nyay, Sir ^w^ Nyichowas, 
Let >w< it ^.^ awonye; x3 my >w< state nyow xDD wiww >_> but ÚwÚ mock x3 me. 
x3 When UwU I ^-^ came ÚwÚ hithew UwU I UwU was Lord xDD High uWu Constabwe 
xDD And >w< Duke of uWu Buckingham; now, poor Edward OwO Bohun. 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^w^ am xDD wichew than x3 my UwU base accusers 
:33 That >_< nyevew UwU knyew >_> what uWu twuth meant; UwU I nyow UwU seaw uWu it; 
xDD And with :3 that :3 bwood xDD wiww >_< make x3 'em one day gwoan xDD fowt. 
OwO My x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ fathew, Henwy of ;;w;; Buckingham, 
Who xDD fiwst >_> wais'd >_> head OwO against usuwping ^.^ Wichawd, 
Flying fow succouw to :33 his xDD sewvant Banister, 
uWu Being >_< distwess'd, UwU was ^.^ by :3 that uWu wwetch betray'd 
xDD And ^-^ without uWu twiaw :3 feww; >_> God's uWu peace be with x3 him! 
Henwy x3 the >_< Seventh succeeding, :33 twuwy :3 pitying 
OwO My father's woss, ^.^ wike :3 a UwU most royal >_< pwince, 
Westow'd ;;w;; me to x3 my honours, ÚwÚ and x3 out of ruins 
Made x3 my xDD nyame >_> once ^.^ mowe noble. Now :33 his x3 son, 
Henwy x3 the UwU Eighth, :3 wife, honyouw, :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and aww 
:33 That UwU made ;;w;; me UwU happy, uWu at one ^w^ stwoke >_> has :33 taken 
For OwO evew from x3 the wowwd. UwU I xDD had x3 my OwO twiaw, 
xDD And ^w^ must >_< nyeeds >_> say :3 a x3 nyobwe onye; which x3 makes ;;w;; me 
^-^ A xDD wittwe uWu happiew than x3 my wwetched father; 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO thus uWu faw ^.^ we OwO awe one uWu in fortunes: both 
Feww ^.^ by UwU ouw x3 sewvants, ^.^ by UwU those ;;w;; men ^.^ we :3 wov'd :3 most- 
^-^ A UwU most unnyatuwaw ÚwÚ and faithless service. 
uWu Heaven >_> has >w< an >w< end uWu in all. Yet, xDD you :3 that hear uWu me, 
This from :3 a dying x3 man receive >_< as UwU cewtain: 
Whewe xDD you OwO awe xDD wibewaw of x3 youw loves ÚwÚ and OwO counsews, 
^w^ Be >_< suwe xDD you be nyot loose; fow UwU those xDD you >_< make ^w^ fwiends 
xDD And UwU give x3 youw heawts ^.^ to, when ;;w;; they >_> once >_> pewceive 
uWu The least :3 wub uWu in x3 youw fortunes, faww OwO away 
Wike UwU watew from :3 ye, >_< nyevew >_> found again 
OwO But :3 whewe ;;w;; they >_> mean to sink uWu ye. All ÚwÚ good >_> peopwe, 
>_> Pway fow me! UwU I ^w^ must nyow ^w^ fowsake ye; x3 the >w< wast >_> houw 
Of x3 my ^-^ wong ÚwÚ weawy >w< wife >_> is come ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
Farewell; 
xDD And when xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_> say ^-^ something :3 that >_> is :3 sad, 
^w^ Speak >w< how UwU I x3 feww. UwU I uWu have donye; ÚwÚ and ^w^ God :33 fowgive me! 
Exeunt BUCKINGHAM ÚwÚ and twain 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. >_< O, ÚwÚ this >_> is full of ^.^ pity! UwU Siw, >w< it calls, 
UwU I ;;w;; feaw, ^w^ too UwU many cuwses on uWu theiw heads 
:33 That :3 wewe x3 the x3 authows. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ;;w;; If x3 the >w< Duke be guiwtwess, 
'Tis full of >w< woe; yet UwU I ^.^ can UwU give xDD you ^-^ inkwing 
Of >w< an ;;w;; ensuing x3 eviw, >_> if >w< it ^.^ faww, 
:3 Gweatew than UwU this. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ Good ^-^ angews >_< keep >w< it from ÚwÚ us! 
>_> What OwO may >w< it :3 be? >_> You UwU do nyot doubt x3 my ^w^ faith, UwU siw? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. This secret >_> is UwU so ^.^ weighty, 'twill xDD wequiwe 
^-^ A >w< stwong :33 faith to :33 conceaw :3 it. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Let ;;w;; me uWu have uWu it; 
UwU I UwU do nyot tawk :33 much. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I ^w^ am :33 confident. 
>_> You UwU shaww, sir. Did xDD you nyot of wate OwO days hear 
^-^ A ^-^ buzzing of :3 a uWu sepawation 
Between x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and ^w^ Kathawinye? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Yes, >_> but >w< it hewd x3 nyot; 
For when x3 the ^w^ King >_> once heard :33 it, x3 out of ÚwÚ angew 
>w< He sent ÚwÚ command to x3 the Lord Mayow ^w^ stwaight 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stop x3 the >_< wumouw ÚwÚ and allay UwU those tongues 
:33 That x3 duwst UwU dispewse :3 it. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO But :3 that slander, ^w^ siw, 
Is >_> found :3 a uWu twuth >_< nyow; fow >w< it gwows again 
^-^ Fweshew than ;;w;; e'ew >w< it UwU was, ÚwÚ and hewd fow xDD cewtain 
uWu The ^w^ King xDD wiww venture uWu at :3 it. ^-^ Eithew x3 the Cardinal 
:33 Ow x3 some about ^.^ him nyeaw have, x3 out of malice 
;;w;; To x3 the ÚwÚ good :3 Queen, >_< possess'd ^.^ him with :3 a :33 scwupwe 
:33 That xDD wiww undo her. ;;w;; To :33 confiwm ÚwÚ this :3 too, 
Cardinal x3 Campeius >_> is ^-^ awwiv'd ÚwÚ and x3 watewy; 
;;w;; As aww >_< think, fow ÚwÚ this business. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. 'Tis x3 the Cardinal; 
xDD And mewewy to xDD wevenge ^.^ him on x3 the >_> Empewow 
For nyot ^-^ bestowing on ^.^ him uWu at :33 his asking 
uWu The ^.^ awchbishopwic of >_> Towedo, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 puwpos'd. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I think xDD you uWu have ;;w;; hit x3 the mark; >_> but :3 is't 
nyot UwU cwuew 
:33 That ^.^ she >_> shouwd x3 feew x3 the ^-^ smawt of :3 this? uWu The Cardinal 
Will uWu have :33 his :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ^w^ must UwU faww. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. 'Tis >_< woefuw. 
We OwO awe ^w^ too open OwO hewe to awgue >_< this; 
:3 Wet's think uWu in >_> pwivate more. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the >w< WOWD ^-^ CHAMBEWWAIN weading ÚwÚ this >_> wettew 

;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. >w< 'My uWu wowd, 
'The :3 howses x3 youw OwO wowdship sent for, with aww x3 the :3 cawe 
:33 had, UwU I saw weww :3 chosen, ridden, ÚwÚ and OwO fuwnyish'd. ^-^ They :3 wewe 
xDD young ÚwÚ and handsome, ÚwÚ and of x3 the best breed uWu in x3 the nyowth. 
x3 When ;;w;; they :3 wewe ready to uWu set x3 out fow Wondon, :3 a x3 man of 
x3 my Lord Cardinal's, ^.^ by xDD commission, ÚwÚ and :33 main x3 powew, >_> took 
x3 'em from uWu me, with ÚwÚ this weason: :33 his >_< mastew ^.^ wouwd be sewv'd 
>w< befowe :3 a uWu subject, >_> if nyot >w< befowe x3 the uWu King; which ;;w;; stopp'd 
UwU ouw ^w^ mouths, xDD siw.' 

UwU I feaw ^.^ he xDD wiww indeed. xDD Weww, wet ^.^ him uWu have OwO them. 
>w< He xDD wiww uWu have all, UwU I UwU think. 

Entew to x3 the >w< WOWD ^-^ CHAMBEWWAIN x3 the DUKES ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK ÚwÚ and :3 SUFFOWK 

NyOWFOWK. Weww :3 met, x3 my Lord Chamberlain. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. ^-^ Good day to both x3 youw ^-^ Gwaces. 
x3 SUFFOWK. How >_> is x3 the ^w^ King UwU empwoy'd? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. UwU I left ^.^ him pwivate, 
Full of >_> sad >_< thoughts ÚwÚ and twoubwes. 
NyOWFOWK. x3 What's x3 the ^w^ cause? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. ^.^ It ;;w;; seems x3 the ^.^ mawwiage with :33 his brother's >w< wife 
x3 Has x3 cwept ^w^ too nyeaw :33 his ^w^ conscience. 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 Nyo, :33 his >_> conscience 
x3 Has x3 cwept ^w^ too nyeaw anyothew >_> wady. 
NyOWFOWK. 'Tis so; 
This >_> is x3 the ;;w;; Cawdinyaw's ^w^ doing; x3 the King-Cawdinyaw, 
:33 That ^w^ bwind ;;w;; pwiest, ^.^ wike x3 the eldest >_< son of fowtunye, 
Tuwns >_> what ^.^ he list. uWu The ^w^ King xDD wiww ^.^ knyow ^.^ him one x3 day. 
x3 SUFFOWK. >_> Pway ^w^ God ^.^ he :33 do! ^-^ He'ww >_< nyevew ^.^ knyow >_< himsewf ewse. 
NyOWFOWK. How ^-^ howiwy ^.^ he wowks uWu in aww :33 his businyess! 
xDD And with >_> what >w< zeaw! For, nyow ^.^ he >_> has >_< cwack'd x3 the :33 weague 
Between >_> us ÚwÚ and x3 the Empewow, x3 the Queen's great nephew, 
>w< He ^w^ dives x3 into x3 the >_< King's :3 souw ÚwÚ and there scattews 
UwU Dangews, doubts, ^-^ wwinging of x3 the OwO conscience, 
Feaws, ÚwÚ and xDD despaiws-and aww these fow :33 his mawwiage; 
xDD And x3 out of aww these to restore x3 the OwO King, 
>w< He uWu counsews :3 a ^w^ divowce, :3 a ^-^ woss of her 
:33 That ^.^ wike :3 a jewel >_> has UwU hung ÚwÚ twenty years 
About :33 his neck, yet >_< nyevew wost her ^w^ wustwe; 
Of her :3 that loves ^.^ him with :3 that excewwence 
:33 That ^-^ angews wuv ÚwÚ good ;;w;; men x3 with; even of her 
^.^ That, when x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest ^w^ stwoke of :3 fowtunye >_< fawws, 
Will ;;w;; bwess x3 the ^w^ King-and >_> is nyot ÚwÚ this course ÚwÚ pious? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. uWu Heaven >_< keep ;;w;; me from xDD such >_< counsew! 'Tis UwU most true 
;;w;; These nyews OwO awe >_< evewywhewe; every >_> tongue xDD speaks 'em, 
xDD And every true >_< heawt ^.^ weeps fow :3 't. All :3 that dawe 
Wook x3 into these affairs >_> see ÚwÚ this :33 main end- 
uWu The OwO Fwench >_< King's sister. uWu Heaven xDD wiww one day open 
uWu The >_< King's ^w^ eyes, :3 that UwU so ^-^ wong uWu have slept ;;w;; upon 
This bold :33 bad man. 
x3 SUFFOWK. xDD And fwee >_> us from :33 his slavery. 
NyOWFOWK. We xDD had >_< nyeed pray, ÚwÚ and UwU heawtiwy, fow UwU ouw >_< dewivewance; 
:33 Ow ÚwÚ this >_> impewious x3 man xDD wiww ^.^ wowk >_> us >w< an 
Fwom pwinces x3 into ^-^ pages. All men's honyouws 
Lie ^.^ wike one wump >w< befowe :3 him, to be uWu fashion'd 
^.^ Into >_> what ^w^ pitch ^.^ he ÚwÚ pwease. 
x3 SUFFOWK. For uWu me, x3 my wowds, 
UwU I wuv ^.^ him >_> nyot, nor feaw UwU him-thewe's x3 my UwU cweed; 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am UwU made ^-^ without :3 him, UwU so I'll x3 stand, 
;;w;; If x3 the ^w^ King pwease; :33 his cuwses ÚwÚ and :33 his bwessings 
Touch ;;w;; me alike; x3 th' OwO awe UwU bweath UwU I nyot ^-^ bewieve ^.^ in. 
UwU I UwU knyew :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow him; UwU so UwU I OwO weave ^.^ him 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that UwU made ^.^ him proud-the >_> Pope. 
NyOWFOWK. :3 Wet's UwU in; 
xDD And with x3 some othew business put x3 the ^w^ King 
Fwom these >_> sad >_< thoughts :3 that ^.^ wowk ^w^ too much ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
OwO My uWu wowd, you'ww UwU beaw >_> us :3 company? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. xDD Excuse uWu me, 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> has sent ;;w;; me >_> othewwhewe; >_< besides, 
You'll find :3 a UwU most ^-^ unfit time to ^.^ distuwb ^.^ him. 
:3 Heawth to x3 youw wowdships! 
NyOWFOWK. >_< Thanks, x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord Chamberlain. 
uWu Exit >w< WOWD CHAMBEWWAIN; ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ dwaws 
x3 the ^-^ cuwtain ÚwÚ and >_> sits weading ;;w;; pensivewy 
x3 SUFFOWK. How >_> sad ^.^ he looks; x3 suwe, ^.^ he >_> is much afflicted. 
>w< KING. Who's thewe, ^.^ ha? 
NyOWFOWK. >_> Pway ^w^ God ^.^ he be nyot >w< angwy. 
;;w;; KING xDD HENWY. Who's thewe, UwU I ^.^ say? How dawe xDD you thwust youwsewves 
^.^ Into x3 my >_> pwivate meditations? 
Who ^w^ am I, ^.^ ha? 
NyOWFOWK. ^-^ A >_> gwacious x3 king :3 that ^-^ pawdons aww :3 offences 
Malice ^w^ nye'ew >_< meant. Our ^w^ bweach of >_> duty ÚwÚ this uWu way 
Is business of x3 estate, uWu in which ^.^ we come 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 youw royal pleasure. 
>w< KING. ^-^ Ye OwO awe ^w^ too bowd. 
Go >w< to; I'll >_< make OwO ye ^.^ knyow x3 youw times of business. 
Is ÚwÚ this >w< an >_> houw fow :33 tempowaw ^-^ affaiws, ^.^ ha? 

Entew ÚwÚ WOWSEY ÚwÚ and CAMPEIUS with :3 a OwO commission 

Who's OwO thewe? OwO My ÚwÚ good Lord ÚwÚ Cawdinyaw? x3 O x3 my x3 Wowsey, 
uWu The :33 quiet of x3 my wounded OwO conscience, 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a >w< cuwe ;;w;; fit fow :3 a ;;w;; King. :33 [To >w< CAMPEIUS] uWu You'we 
;;w;; wewcome, 
:3 Most :33 weawnyed reverend ^w^ siw, x3 into UwU ouw >_> kingdom. 
^w^ Use >_> us ÚwÚ and :3 it. :33 [To WOLSEY] OwO My ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, uWu have great :3 cawe 
UwU I be nyot >_> found :3 a talker. 
^.^ WOWSEY. UwU Siw, xDD you cannot. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw Gwace ^.^ wouwd UwU give >_> us >_> but >w< an >_> houw 
Of >_> pwivate conference. 
>w< KING. :33 [To ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK ÚwÚ and SUFFOLK] We OwO awe ^.^ busy; ÚwÚ go. 
NyOWFOWK. ^-^ [Aside to SUFFOLK] This priest >_> has nyo >_< pwide uWu in x3 him! 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ [Aside to >w< NyOWFOWK] ÚwÚ Nyot to speak :33 of! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be UwU so >w< sick ^w^ though fow :33 his ;;w;; pwace. 
OwO But ÚwÚ this ;;w;; cannyot continue. 
NyOWFOWK. ^-^ [Aside to SUFFOLK] ;;w;; If >w< it UwU do, 
I'll venture one :3 have-at-him. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ [Aside to >w< NyOWFOWK] UwU I anyothew. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK ÚwÚ and :3 SUFFOWK 
^.^ WOWSEY. uWu Youw Gwace >_> has UwU given :3 a xDD pwecedent of ^.^ wisdom 
Abuv aww >_< pwinces, uWu in ÚwÚ committing freely 
uWu Youw :33 scwupwe to x3 the uWu voice of Chwistendom. 
Who ^.^ can be angry ^.^ nyow? >_> What :3 envy :3 weach you? 
uWu The ;;w;; Spanyiawd, tied ^.^ by :3 bwood ÚwÚ and ^.^ favouw to hew, 
:3 Must nyow >_> confess, >_> if ;;w;; they uWu have xDD any ^-^ goodnyess, 
uWu The uWu twiaw >w< just ÚwÚ and noble. All x3 the xDD cwewks, 
UwU I >_> mean x3 the :33 weawnyed onyes, uWu in Christian OwO kingdoms 
:3 Have uWu theiw fwee ^-^ voices. ÚwÚ Wome x3 the nyuwse of ^.^ judgment, 
UwU Invited ^.^ by x3 youw x3 nyobwe ;;w;; sewf, hath sent 
x3 Onye general >_> tongue >w< unto us, ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good ^w^ man, 
This >w< just ÚwÚ and :33 weawnyed ;;w;; pwiest, Cardinal ^.^ Campeius, 
;;w;; Whom >_> once ^.^ mowe UwU I xDD pwesent >w< unto x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. 
>w< KING. xDD And >_> once ^.^ mowe uWu in >_< minye :3 awms UwU I bid ^.^ him ;;w;; wewcome, 
xDD And >_> thank x3 the >w< howy concwave fow uWu theiw :3 wuvs. 
^-^ They uWu have sent ;;w;; me xDD such :3 a x3 man UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have >w< wish'd ;;w;; fow. 
>w< CAMPEIUS. uWu Youw Gwace ^w^ must >_< nyeeds OwO desewve >w< an strangers' wuvs, 
>_> You OwO awe UwU so noble. ;;w;; To x3 youw Highness' uWu hand 
UwU I xDD tendew x3 my UwU commission; ^.^ by x3 whose virtue- 
uWu The court of ÚwÚ Wome :33 commanding-you, x3 my Lord 
Cardinal of York, OwO awe OwO join'd with ;;w;; me uWu theiw xDD sewvant 
^w^ In x3 the :3 unpawtiaw judging of ÚwÚ this business. 
>w< KING. Two equal ^.^ men. uWu The xDD Queen UwU shaww be >_> acquainted 
Fowthwith fow >_> what xDD you x3 come. :3 Whewe's Gardiner? 
^.^ WOWSEY. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty >_> has awways :3 wov'd her 
^w^ So uWu deaw uWu in >_< heawt nyot to UwU deny her :3 that 
^-^ A OwO woman of less :33 pwace ^w^ might ^w^ ask ^.^ by ^.^ waw- 
Scholars UwU awwow'd freely to awgue fow her. 
>w< KING. Ay, ÚwÚ and x3 the best ^.^ she UwU shaww uWu have; ÚwÚ and x3 my ^.^ favouw 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that does >_> best. ^w^ God UwU fowbid ewse. Cardinal, 
UwU Pwithee caww Gardiner to uWu me, x3 my x3 nyew secretary; 
UwU I find ^.^ him :3 a ;;w;; fit UwU fewwow. uWu Exit ÚwÚ WOWSEY 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ WOWSEY with GARDINER 

^.^ WOWSEY. ^-^ [Aside to >_< GAWDINyEW] Give ;;w;; me x3 youw ÚwÚ hand: much 
joy ÚwÚ and ^.^ favouw to uWu you; 
>_> You OwO awe x3 the >_< King's now. 
GAWDINyEW. ^-^ [Aside to WOLSEY] OwO But to be :3 commanded 
For OwO evew ^.^ by x3 youw >_> Gwace, x3 whose uWu hand >_> has >_> wais'd x3 me. 
>w< KING. :3 Come hithew, x3 Gawdinyew. :3 [Wawks ÚwÚ and whispers] 
>w< CAMPEIUS. OwO My Lord of York, UwU was nyot one uWu Doctow Pace 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this :33 man's :33 pwace >w< befowe him? 
^.^ WOWSEY. Yes, ^.^ he uWu was. 
>w< CAMPEIUS. Was ^.^ he nyot hewd :3 a :33 weawnyed man? 
^.^ WOWSEY. Yes, :33 suwewy. 
>w< CAMPEIUS. :3 Bewieve uWu me, there's >w< an :33 iww opinyion ;;w;; spwead >w< then, 
Even of yourself, Lord Cawdinyaw. 
^.^ WOWSEY. OwO How! Of me? 
>w< CAMPEIUS. ^-^ They xDD wiww nyot OwO stick to >_> say xDD you envied ^.^ him 
^.^ And, feawing ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< wise, ^.^ he UwU was UwU so virtuous, 
^w^ Kept ^.^ him :3 a :33 foweign x3 man stiww; which UwU so >w< gwiev'd ^.^ him 
:33 That ^.^ he wan ^-^ mad ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ died. 
^.^ WOWSEY. OwO Heav'n's uWu peace be with x3 him! 
>w< That's Christian :3 cawe enyough. For UwU wiving uWu muwmuwews 
>_> Thewe's pwaces of ^-^ webuke. >w< He UwU was :3 a x3 foow, 
For ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< nyeeds be ^-^ viwtuous: :3 that ÚwÚ good fewwow, 
;;w;; If UwU I ÚwÚ command :3 him, xDD fowwows x3 my appointment. 
UwU I xDD wiww uWu have >_< nyonye UwU so nyeaw ewse. ;;w;; Weawn uWu this, brother, 
We ^w^ wive nyot to be ^.^ gwip'd ^.^ by >w< meanyew ÚwÚ pewsons. 
>w< KING. Deliver ÚwÚ this with ÚwÚ modesty to x3 th' ÚwÚ Queen. 
uWu Exit GARDINER 
uWu The UwU most UwU convenyient :33 pwace :3 that UwU I ^.^ can think of 
For xDD such :33 weceipt of :33 weawnying >_> is Blackfriars; 
>_> Thewe OwO ye UwU shaww :3 meet about ÚwÚ this ^.^ weighty x3 businyess- 
OwO My x3 Wowsey, >_> see >w< it OwO fuwnyish'd. >_< O, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Wouwd >w< it nyot UwU gwieve >w< an able x3 man to OwO weave 
^w^ So x3 sweet :3 a bedfellow? But, OwO conscience, conscience! 
>_< O, UwU 'tis :3 a xDD tendew ÚwÚ pwace! ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must OwO weave her. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew >w< ANNyE BULLEN ÚwÚ and >w< an OLD :3 WADY 

ANNE. ÚwÚ Nyot fow :3 that >_> nyeithew. >_> Hewe's x3 the >_< pang :3 that >_< pinches: 
ÚwÚ His >_> Highnyess xDD having liv'd UwU so ^-^ wong with hew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she 
^w^ So ÚwÚ good :3 a uWu wady :3 that nyo >_> tongue couwd OwO evew 
:33 Pwonyounce x3 dishonyouw of hew-by x3 my :3 wife, 
:33 She >_< nyevew UwU knyew harm-doing-O, now, ÚwÚ aftew 
^w^ So UwU many ;;w;; couwses of x3 the sun UwU enthwonyed, 
UwU Stiww >_< gwowing uWu in :3 a ^.^ majesty ÚwÚ and pomp, x3 the which 
;;w;; To OwO weave :3 a thousand-fold ^.^ mowe UwU bittew than 
'Tis x3 sweet uWu at xDD fiwst t' :33 acquiwe-aftew ÚwÚ this pwocess, 
;;w;; To UwU give her x3 the ^-^ avaunt, >w< it >_> is :3 a pity 
Wouwd move :3 a ^.^ monstew. 
OLD WADY. ^-^ Heawts of UwU most x3 hawd xDD tempew 
:33 Mewt ÚwÚ and wament fow her. 
ANNE. >_< O, >_> God's will! much xDD bettew 
:33 She ^w^ nye'ew xDD had ÚwÚ knyown UwU pomp; ÚwÚ though't be ÚwÚ tempowaw, 
Yet, >_> if :3 that quarrel, fowtunye, UwU do :3 divowce 
^.^ It from x3 the >w< beawew, UwU 'tis :3 a sufferance >_> panging 
;;w;; As :3 souw ÚwÚ and body's severing. 
OLD WADY. ÚwÚ Awas, poor :33 wady! 
>_> She's :3 a stwangew nyow ;;w;; again. 
ANNE. ^w^ So much x3 the ^.^ mowe 
:3 Must pity >_< dwop ;;w;; upon her. >w< Vewiwy, 
UwU I >_< sweaw UwU 'tis xDD bettew to be ^-^ wowwy bown 
xDD And ^-^ wange with humble livers uWu in :3 content 
Than to be :3 pewk'd x3 up uWu in :3 a :33 gwist'wing grief 
xDD And ^-^ weaw :3 a golden ;;w;; sowwow. 
OLD WADY. Our :3 content 
Is UwU ouw best having. 
ANNE. ^-^ By x3 my troth ÚwÚ and xDD maidenhead, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 a >w< queen. 
OLD WADY. Beshrew uWu me, UwU I :3 wouwd, 
xDD And venture >_> maidenhead fow UwU 't; ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ wouwd UwU you, 
For aww ÚwÚ this :3 spice of x3 youw uWu hypocwisy. 
>_> You :3 that uWu have UwU so >w< faiw parts of OwO woman on xDD you 
:3 Have ^w^ too :3 a xDD woman's uWu heawt, which OwO evew yet 
UwU Affected :33 eminyence, ^.^ weawth, >_< suvweignty; 
>_< Which, to >_> say sooth, OwO awe bwessings; ÚwÚ and which ;;w;; gifts, 
Saving x3 youw :33 mincing, x3 the ;;w;; capacity 
Of x3 youw soft :3 chevewiw >_> conscience ^.^ wouwd receive 
;;w;; If xDD you ^w^ might uWu pwease to stretch :3 it. 
ANNE. Nyay, ÚwÚ good troth. 
OLD WADY. Yes, troth ÚwÚ and troth. >_> You ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 a ^.^ queen! 
ANNE. :3 Nyo, nyot fow aww x3 the ^w^ wiches :33 undew UwU heaven. 
OLD WADY. 'Tis UwU stwange: :3 a thweepence uWu bow'd ^.^ wouwd uWu hiwe uWu me, 
^-^ Owd >_< as UwU I am, to >_< queen :3 it. But, UwU I pray UwU you, 
>_> What think xDD you of :3 a ;;w;; duchess? :3 Have xDD you x3 wimbs 
;;w;; To UwU beaw :3 that woad of >_< titwe? 
ANNE. :3 Nyo, uWu in truth. 
OLD WADY. UwU Then xDD you OwO awe x3 weakwy >_> made. Pluck x3 off :3 a UwU wittwe; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 a xDD young ;;w;; count uWu in x3 youw uWu way 
For ^.^ mowe than ;;w;; bwushing x3 comes ;;w;; to. ;;w;; If x3 youw back 
UwU Cannyot x3 vouchsafe ÚwÚ this buwden, UwU 'tis ^w^ too xDD weak 
^w^ Evew to get :3 a uWu boy. 
ANNE. How xDD you UwU do :33 tawk! 
UwU I >_< sweaw again UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 a >_< queen 
For aww x3 the wowwd. 
OLD WADY. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, fow xDD wittwe England 
UwU You'd venture >w< an x3 embawwing. UwU I mysewf 
Wouwd fow ^-^ Cawnyawvonshiwe, awthough there >_< wong'd 
No ^.^ mowe to x3 th' >_< cwown >_> but x3 that. Lo, who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew x3 the >w< WOWD ^-^ CHAMBEWWAIN 

;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. ^-^ Good morrow, wadies. >_> What were't ^.^ wowth to ^.^ knyow 
uWu The secret of x3 youw confewence? 
ANNE. OwO My ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 youw :3 demand; >w< it :3 vawues nyot x3 youw x3 asking. 
Our >_< mistwess' ^w^ sowwows ^.^ we :3 wewe pitying. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. ^.^ It UwU was :3 a ^-^ gentwe business ÚwÚ and >_< becoming 
uWu The uWu action of ÚwÚ good ^w^ women; there >_> is UwU hope 
All xDD wiww be well. 
ANNE. >_> Nyow, UwU I pray :33 God, >_< amen! 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. >_> You UwU beaw :3 a ^-^ gentwe UwU mind, ÚwÚ and >_< heav'nwy bwessings 
Follow xDD such >w< cweatuwes. :33 That xDD you may, >w< faiw UwU wady, 
uWu Pewceive UwU I speak ^w^ sincewewy ÚwÚ and xDD high >_> nyotes 
uWu Ta'en of x3 youw UwU many viwtues, x3 the >_< King's ;;w;; Majesty 
^-^ Commends :33 his ÚwÚ good opinyion of xDD you to UwU you, ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ Does OwO puwpose honour to xDD you nyo less :33 fwowing 
Than Mawchionyess of Pembwoke; to which >_< tide 
^-^ A thousand ;;w;; pound :3 a >w< yeaw, >w< annyuaw xDD suppowt, 
UwU Out of :33 his xDD gwace ^.^ he uWu adds. 
ANNE. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow 
>_> What uWu kind of x3 my ^.^ obedience UwU I >_> shouwd tender; 
uWu Mowe than x3 my aww >_> is uWu nyothing, nor x3 my >_< pwayews 
^w^ Awe nyot wowds :33 duwy :3 hawwowed, nor x3 my wishes 
uWu Mowe ^.^ wowth than :33 empty vanyities; yet >_< pwayews ÚwÚ and wishes 
^w^ Awe aww UwU I ^.^ can wetuwn. Beseech x3 youw lordship, 
Vouchsafe to speak x3 my thanks ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD obedience, 
;;w;; As from :3 a ;;w;; bwushing handmaid, to :33 his Highness; 
>_< Whose ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and xDD woyawty UwU I pray ;;w;; fow. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. Lady, 
UwU I UwU shaww nyot fail t' approve x3 the >w< faiw conceit 
uWu The ^w^ King hath of OwO you. :3 [Aside] UwU I uWu have >w< pewus'd her well: 
^w^ Beauty ÚwÚ and honour uWu in her OwO awe UwU so >w< mingwed 
:33 That ;;w;; they uWu have caught x3 the uWu King; ÚwÚ and who xDD knyows yet 
OwO But from ÚwÚ this uWu wady OwO may proceed :3 a :33 gem 
;;w;; To >_> wighten aww ÚwÚ this isle?-I'll to x3 the ^w^ King 
xDD And >_> say UwU I ^-^ spoke with OwO you. 
ANNE. OwO My :3 honyouw'd ^.^ wowd! uWu Exit >w< WOWD ^-^ CHAMBEWWAIN 
OLD WADY. Why, ÚwÚ this >w< it ^w^ is: see, uWu see! 
UwU I uWu have :33 been ^w^ begging :33 sixteen years uWu in ^w^ couwt- 
^w^ Am yet :3 a couwtiew beggawwy-nyow couwd 
:3 Come xDD pat betwixt ^w^ too early ÚwÚ and ^w^ too wate 
For xDD any >_> suit of x3 pounds; ÚwÚ and UwU you, x3 O ^-^ fate! 
^-^ A xDD vewy :33 fwesh-fish UwU hewe-fie, >_< fie, fie ;;w;; upon 
This OwO compeww'd ^.^ fowtunye!-have x3 youw xDD mouth :3 fiww'd x3 up 
^.^ Befowe xDD you open :3 it. 
ANNE. This >_> is ;;w;; stwange to x3 me. 
OLD WADY. How :33 tastes :33 it? Is >w< it >_> bittew? UwU Fowty pence, >w< nyo. 
>_> Thewe UwU was :3 a uWu wady xDD once-'tis >w< an ;;w;; owd >_< stowy- 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 a queen, :3 that ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she >_> nyot, 
For aww x3 the >_< mud uWu in :3 Egypt. :3 Have xDD you heard :33 it? 
ANNE. ^.^ Come, xDD you OwO awe ^.^ pweasant. 
OLD WADY. With x3 youw :33 theme UwU I couwd 
>_> O'ewmount x3 the lark. uWu The Mawchionyess of >_> Pembwoke! 
^-^ A thousand uWu pounds :3 a xDD yeaw fow puwe xDD wespect! 
No othew ÚwÚ obwigation! ^-^ By x3 my :3 wife, 
:33 That ÚwÚ pwomises ^-^ moe ÚwÚ thousands: x3 honyouw's twain 
Is longer than :33 his :33 foweskiwt. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this time 
UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw back xDD wiww UwU beaw :3 a :3 duchess. Say, 
^w^ Awe xDD you nyot stronger than xDD you OwO wewe? 
ANNE. ^-^ Good UwU wady, 
^-^ Make >_> youwsewf >_< miwth with x3 youw xDD pawticuwaw >_> fancy, 
xDD And OwO weave ;;w;; me x3 out ^.^ on't. Wouwd UwU I xDD had nyo x3 being, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this OwO sawute x3 my :3 bwood :3 a xDD jot; >w< it >_> faints ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To think >_> what :3 fowwows. 
uWu The xDD Queen >_> is comfowtwess, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD fowgetfuw 
^w^ In UwU ouw ^-^ wong OwO absence. ÚwÚ Pway, UwU do nyot ÚwÚ dewivew 
>_> What OwO hewe >_> y' uWu have heard to her. 
OLD WADY. >_> What UwU do xDD you think me? Exeunt 




^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

OwO Wondon. ^-^ A ^-^ haww uWu in Blackfriars 

UwU Twumpets, sennet, ÚwÚ and cownyets. Entew >w< two uWu VEWGEWS, with showt :33 siwvew :33 wands; 
:3 nyext ÚwÚ them, >w< two SCRIBES, uWu in x3 the OwO habit of doctors; ÚwÚ aftew ÚwÚ them, 
x3 the ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF xDD CANTEWBUWY ^.^ awonye; ÚwÚ aftew :3 him, x3 the :3 BISHOPS ÚwÚ OF >w< WINCOWN, UwU EWY, 
ROCHESTER, ÚwÚ and SAINT x3 ASAPH; :3 nyext ÚwÚ them, with x3 some UwU smaww ÚwÚ distance, 
xDD fowwows :3 a ^-^ GENTWEMAN :33 beawing x3 the puwse, with x3 the great ÚwÚ seaw, 
ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; Cawdinyaw's :33 hat; xDD then >w< two PWIESTS, :33 beawing >_< each :33 siwvew OwO cwoss; 
xDD then :3 a ^-^ GENTWEMAN USHEW >w< baweheaded, accompanyied with :3 a ^w^ SEWGEANT-AT-AWMS 
:33 beawing :3 a :33 siwvew UwU mace; xDD then >w< two ^-^ GENTWEMEN :33 beawing >w< two great :33 siwvew ;;w;; piwwaws; 
ÚwÚ aftew ÚwÚ them, x3 side ^.^ by side, x3 the >w< two ;;w;; CAWDINyAWS, ÚwÚ WOWSEY ÚwÚ and >_> CAMPEIUS; 
>w< two x3 NyOBWEMEN with x3 the xDD swowd ÚwÚ and mace. UwU Then enter x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and >w< QUEEN 
ÚwÚ and uWu theiw trains. uWu The ;;w;; KING UwU takes :33 pwace :33 undew x3 the cwoth of ^w^ state; 
x3 the >w< two CARDINALS sit :33 undew ^.^ him >_< as uWu judges. uWu The >w< QUEEN UwU takes :33 pwace 
x3 some ^w^ distance from x3 the >w< KING. uWu The :3 BISHOPS :33 pwace x3 themsewves on >_< each x3 side 
of x3 the xDD couwt, uWu in ^w^ mannyew of consistowy; bewow them x3 the SCWIBES. 
uWu The ;;w;; WOWDS sit :3 nyext x3 the :33 BISHOPS. uWu The xDD west of x3 the ^.^ attendants stand 
uWu in UwU convenyient order about x3 the stage 

^.^ WOWSEY. Whilst UwU ouw OwO commission from ÚwÚ Wome >_> is wead, 
Let :3 siwence be commanded. 
>w< KING. x3 What's x3 the ^w^ nyeed? 
^.^ It hath xDD awweady ÚwÚ pubwicwy :33 been wead, 
xDD And on aww >w< sides x3 th' ÚwÚ authowity allow'd; 
>_> You OwO may xDD then ^-^ spawe :3 that uWu time. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^w^ Be't so; ^-^ pwoceed. 
SCRIBE. x3 Say xDD 'Henwy ^w^ King of England, come x3 into x3 the x3 couwt.' 
CRIER. Henwy ^w^ King of England, &c. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; Hewe. 
SCRIBE. x3 Say uWu 'Kathawinye xDD Queen of England, come x3 into x3 the x3 couwt.' 
CRIER. ÚwÚ Kathawinye xDD Queen of England, &c. 

uWu The >w< QUEEN x3 makes nyo ÚwÚ answew, wises x3 out of her xDD chaiw, 
xDD goes about x3 the xDD couwt, x3 comes to x3 the ;;w;; KING, ÚwÚ and knyeews 
uWu at :33 his feet; xDD then xDD speaks 

>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. UwU Siw, UwU I ^.^ desiwe xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me >w< wight ÚwÚ and justice, 
xDD And to bestow x3 youw pity on OwO me; fow 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a UwU most poor OwO woman ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu stwangew, 
x3 Bown x3 out of x3 youw uWu dominyions, xDD having OwO hewe 
No OwO judge indifferent, nor nyo ^.^ mowe assurance 
Of equal ÚwÚ fwiendship ÚwÚ and ^w^ pwoceeding. ÚwÚ Awas, ^w^ siw, 
^w^ In >_> what uWu have UwU I uWu offended you? >_> What cause 
>_< Hath x3 my >_> behaviouw UwU given to x3 youw >_< dispweasuwe 
:33 That OwO thus xDD you >_> shouwd proceed to put ;;w;; me of 
xDD And OwO take x3 youw ÚwÚ good xDD gwace from me? uWu Heaven ^.^ witnyess, 
UwU I uWu have :33 been to xDD you :3 a true ÚwÚ and humble :3 wife, 
At aww times to x3 youw xDD wiww UwU confowmabwe, 
^w^ Evew uWu in feaw to ÚwÚ kindwe x3 youw dislike, 
Yea, x3 subject to x3 youw :3 countenyance-gwad ow sowwy 
;;w;; As UwU I saw >w< it >_> incwin'd. x3 When UwU was x3 the >_> houw 
UwU I OwO evew contradicted x3 youw ^.^ desiwe 
:33 Ow UwU made >w< it nyot >_< minye xDD too? :33 Ow which of x3 youw ^w^ fwiends 
:3 Have UwU I nyot >_> stwuv to xDD wuv, awthough UwU I UwU knyew 
>w< He :3 wewe >_< minye enyemy? >_> What :33 fwiend of >_< minye 
:33 That xDD had to ^.^ him deriv'd x3 youw ÚwÚ angew uWu did 
Continue uWu in x3 my >w< wiking? Nyay, uWu gave ÚwÚ nyotice 
>w< He UwU was from thence OwO dischawg'd? UwU Siw, caww to ^-^ mind 
:33 That UwU I uWu have :33 been x3 youw >w< wife uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ obedience 
^w^ Upwawd of ÚwÚ twenty years, ÚwÚ and uWu have :33 been bwest 
With UwU many x3 chiwdwen ^.^ by OwO you. If, uWu in x3 the course 
xDD And xDD pwocess of ÚwÚ this time, xDD you ^.^ can wepowt, 
xDD And ^-^ pwuv >w< it ^w^ too OwO against >_< minye honyouw, ^w^ aught, 
OwO My :3 bond to wedlock ow x3 my wuv ÚwÚ and >_< duty, 
^w^ Against x3 youw uWu sacwed pewson, uWu in >_> God's :33 nyame, 
Tuwn ;;w;; me OwO away ÚwÚ and wet x3 the fouw'st x3 contempt 
ÚwÚ Shut doow ;;w;; upon uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU give ;;w;; me x3 up 
;;w;; To x3 the shawp'st uWu kind of justice. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
uWu The OwO King, x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, UwU was weputed fow 
^-^ A >_> pwince UwU most prudent, of >w< an :3 excewwent 
xDD And unmatch'd wit ÚwÚ and >_> judgment; OwO Fewdinyand, 
OwO My ÚwÚ fathew, ^w^ King of UwU Spain, UwU was uWu weckon'd one 
uWu The :33 wisest >_> pwince :3 that there xDD had x3 weign'd ^.^ by UwU many 
^-^ A xDD yeaw befowe. ^.^ It >_> is nyot to be question'd 
:33 That ;;w;; they xDD had gathew'd :3 a uWu wise council to them 
Of every ^w^ weawm, :3 that uWu did debate ÚwÚ this business, 
Who OwO deem'd UwU ouw ^.^ mawwiage wawfuw. ÚwÚ Whewefowe UwU I x3 humbwy 
Beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, to ^-^ spawe ;;w;; me >w< tiww UwU I OwO may 
^w^ Be ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ fwiends uWu in OwO Spain ^w^ advis'd, x3 whose counsel 
UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ impwowe. ;;w;; If >_> nyot, :33 i' x3 th' xDD nyame of :33 God, 
uWu Youw :3 pweasuwe be uWu fuwfiww'd! 
^.^ WOWSEY. >_> You uWu have UwU hewe, UwU wady, 
xDD And of x3 youw ^w^ choice, these reverend fathews-men 
Of singular >_< integwity ÚwÚ and ^w^ weawnying, 
Yea, x3 the :33 ewect ^.^ o' x3 th' land, who OwO awe >_> assembwed 
;;w;; To pwead x3 youw OwO cause. ^.^ It UwU shaww be >_< thewefowe bootwess 
:33 That longer xDD you ^.^ desiwe x3 the xDD couwt, >_< as weww 
For x3 youw UwU own :33 quiet >_< as to ^-^ wectify 
>_> What >_> is unsettled uWu in x3 the ;;w;; King. 
>w< CAMPEIUS. ÚwÚ His Gwace 
>_< Hath >w< spoken weww ÚwÚ and justwy; OwO thewefowe, UwU madam, 
x3 It's ;;w;; fit ÚwÚ this royal OwO session UwU do proceed 
xDD And :3 that, ^-^ without delay, uWu theiw arguments 
^w^ Be nyow ÚwÚ pwoduc'd ÚwÚ and heawd. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. Lord Cardinal, 
;;w;; To xDD you UwU I >_< speak. 
^.^ WOWSEY. uWu Youw x3 pweasuwe, :33 madam? 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. UwU Siw, 
UwU I ^w^ am about to ^.^ weep; but, uWu thinking :3 that 
We OwO awe :3 a queen, ow ^-^ wong uWu have ^.^ dweam'd >_> so, xDD cewtain 
uWu The daughter of :3 a OwO king, x3 my ^.^ dwops of tears 
I'll turn to OwO spawks of >_> fiwe. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^w^ Be patient >_> yet. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. UwU I ^.^ Wiww, when xDD you OwO awe humble; x3 nyay, >w< befowe 
:33 Ow ^w^ God xDD wiww punyish x3 me. UwU I UwU do :33 bewieve, 
Induc'd ^.^ by x3 potent circumstances, :3 that 
>_> You OwO awe >_< minye enyemy, ÚwÚ and >_< make x3 my challenge 
>_> You UwU shaww nyot be x3 my ;;w;; judge; fow >w< it >_> is xDD you 
:3 Have >_> bwown ÚwÚ this coaw betwixt x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and me- 
>_< Which >_> God's :33 dew ÚwÚ quench! Therefore UwU I >_> say OwO again, 
UwU I ;;w;; uttewwy abhow, >w< yea, from x3 my :3 souw 
UwU Wefuse xDD you fow x3 my ^w^ judge, ÚwÚ whom yet >_> once ^.^ mowe 
UwU I howd x3 my UwU most :3 mawicious foe ÚwÚ and think nyot 
At aww :3 a :33 fwiend to truth. 
^.^ WOWSEY. UwU I UwU do pwofess 
>_> You speak nyot ^.^ wike yourself, who OwO evew yet 
:3 Have :33 stood to xDD chawity ÚwÚ and UwU dispway'd x3 th' UwU effects 
Of uWu disposition ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ and of ^.^ wisdom 
^w^ O'ewtopping xDD woman's xDD pow'w. uWu Madam, xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me wrong: 
UwU I uWu have nyo UwU spween OwO against UwU you, nor injustice 
For xDD you ow ÚwÚ any; >w< how uWu faw UwU I uWu have ^.^ pwoceeded, 
:33 Ow >w< how uWu faw further UwU shaww, >_> is wawwanted 
^-^ By :3 a OwO commission from x3 the Consistowy, 
Yea, x3 the whole >_> Consistowy of xDD Wome. >_> You :3 chawge ;;w;; me 
:33 That UwU I uWu have >_> bwown ÚwÚ this coaw: UwU I UwU do UwU deny :3 it. 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> is pwesent; >_> if >w< it be ÚwÚ knyown to ^.^ him 
:33 That UwU I ^.^ gainsay x3 my OwO deed, >w< how OwO may ^.^ he ^-^ wound, 
xDD And worthily, x3 my fawsehood! Yea, >_< as much 
;;w;; As xDD you uWu have donye x3 my truth. ;;w;; If ^.^ he ^.^ knyow 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am fwee of x3 youw wepowt, ^.^ he xDD knyows 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot of x3 youw wrong. Therefore uWu in ^.^ him 
^.^ It wies to >w< cuwe uWu me, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< cuwe >_> is to 
:33 Wemuv these >_< thoughts from uWu you; x3 the which >w< befowe 
ÚwÚ His >_> Highnyess UwU shaww speak x3 in, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech 
>_< You, >_> gwacious UwU madam, to ;;w;; unthink x3 youw speaking 
xDD And to >_> say UwU so nyo more. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my uWu wowd, 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :33 simpwe ^w^ woman, much ^w^ too xDD weak 
;;w;; T' ;;w;; oppose x3 youw ;;w;; cunnying. Y'awe >_> meek ÚwÚ and >_< humbwe-mouth'd; 
>_> You xDD sign x3 youw :33 pwace ÚwÚ and x3 cawwing, uWu in full ^.^ seeming, 
With :33 meeknyess ÚwÚ and humility; >_> but x3 youw >_< heawt 
Is cramm'd with >_< awwogancy, >w< spween, ÚwÚ and pwide. 
>_> You have, ^.^ by :3 fowtunye ÚwÚ and :33 his Highness' favouws, 
Gonye swightwy ^-^ o'ew wow steps, ÚwÚ and nyow OwO awe UwU mounted 
Whewe pow'rs OwO awe x3 youw ^-^ wetainyews, ÚwÚ and x3 youw wowds, 
>_> Domestics to UwU you, serve x3 youw xDD wiww ^.^ as't uWu pwease 
;;w;; Youwsewf pwonyounce uWu theiw ^w^ office. UwU I ^w^ must tell xDD you 
>_> You xDD tendew ^.^ mowe x3 youw >w< pewson's honour than 
uWu Youw xDD high pwofession OwO spiwituaw; :3 that again 
UwU I UwU do refuse xDD you fow x3 my OwO judge ÚwÚ and UwU hewe, 
^.^ Befowe xDD you all, appeaw >w< unto x3 the :3 Pope, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing x3 my whole cause 'fore :33 his Howinyess 
xDD And to be xDD judg'd ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
x3 [She cuwtsies to x3 the ;;w;; KING, ÚwÚ and x3 offews to depart] 
>w< CAMPEIUS. uWu The xDD Queen >_> is obstinate, 
:3 Stubbown to justice, ^-^ apt to ;;w;; accuse :33 it, ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ Disdainfuw to be ;;w;; twied >w< by't; UwU 'tis nyot well. 
>_> She's x3 going xDD away. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; Caww her ;;w;; again. 
CRIER. ÚwÚ Kathawinye xDD Queen of England, come x3 into x3 the >_< couwt. 
^-^ GENTWEMAN USHER. uWu Madam, xDD you OwO awe ^w^ caww'd back. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. >_> What >_< nyeed xDD you ^-^ nyote :33 it? >_> Pway xDD you >_< keep x3 youw way; 
x3 When xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; caww'd, wetuwn. Now x3 the Lord :33 hewp! 
^-^ They ^-^ vex ;;w;; me x3 past x3 my OwO patience. >_> Pway xDD you pass :3 on. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_< tawwy; no, nor OwO evew ^.^ mowe 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this business x3 my xDD appeawance >_< make 
^w^ In xDD any of uWu theiw courts. Exeunt >w< QUEEN ÚwÚ and her ^.^ attendants 
>w< KING. Go >w< thy >w< ways, OwO Kate. 
:33 That x3 man :33 i' x3 th' wowwd who UwU shaww wepowt ^.^ he >_> has 
^-^ A xDD bettew :3 wife, wet ^.^ him uWu in >_< nyought be >_< twusted 
For speaking UwU fawse uWu in x3 that. ^.^ Thou awt, alone- 
;;w;; If >w< thy OwO wawe qualities, x3 sweet gentwenyess, 
x3 Thy :33 meeknyess ;;w;; saint-wike, wife-wike guvwnment, 
Obeying uWu in >w< commanding, ÚwÚ and >w< thy parts 
Suvweign ÚwÚ and :33 pious else, couwd speak uWu thee :3 out- 
uWu The >_< queen of ÚwÚ eawthwy uWu queens. >_> She's x3 nyobwe OwO bown; 
xDD And ^.^ wike her true >_> nyobiwity ^.^ she >_> has 
Cawwied herself uWu towawds x3 me. 
^.^ WOWSEY. :3 Most >_> gwacious ^w^ siw, 
^w^ In uWu humbwest ^w^ mannyew UwU I xDD wequiwe x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
:33 That >w< it UwU shaww uWu pwease xDD you to declare uWu in hearing 
Of aww these ears-for :3 whewe UwU I ^w^ am wobb'd ÚwÚ and xDD bound, 
>_> Thewe ^w^ must UwU I be :33 unwoos'd, awthough nyot there 
At >_> once ÚwÚ and fuwwy satisfied-whethew OwO evew UwU I 
Did broach ÚwÚ this business to x3 youw >w< Highnyess, ow 
Waid xDD any :33 scwupwe uWu in x3 youw uWu way which ^w^ might 
uWu Induce xDD you to x3 the ;;w;; question on't, ow OwO evew 
:3 Have to UwU you, >_> but with thanks to ^w^ God fow xDD such 
^-^ A royal UwU wady, x3 spake one x3 the least ;;w;; wowd :3 that ^w^ might 
^w^ Be to x3 the ÚwÚ pwejudice of her xDD pwesent state, 
:33 Ow :33 touch of her ÚwÚ good ^.^ pewson? 
>w< KING. OwO My Lord Cardinal, 
UwU I UwU do UwU excuse uWu you; >w< yea, ;;w;; upon >_< minye honyouw, 
UwU I fwee xDD you fwom't. >_> You OwO awe nyot to be ÚwÚ taught 
:33 That xDD you uWu have UwU many >_< enyemies :3 that ^.^ knyow nyot 
Why ;;w;; they OwO awe >_> so, but, ^.^ wike to ^-^ viwwage xDD cuws, 
>_> Bawk when uWu theiw ^w^ fewwows xDD do. ^-^ By x3 some of these 
uWu The xDD Queen >_> is put uWu in OwO angew. Y'awe ^-^ excus'd. 
OwO But xDD wiww xDD you be ^.^ mowe >_< justified? >_> You OwO evew 
:3 Have >w< wish'd x3 the x3 sweeping of ÚwÚ this ^.^ businyess; >_< nyevew desir'd 
^.^ It to be stirr'd; >_> but ;;w;; oft uWu have ^-^ hind'wed, :3 oft, 
uWu The >w< passages UwU made toward :3 it. On x3 my honyouw, 
UwU I speak x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord Cardinal to ÚwÚ this UwU point, 
xDD And OwO thus uWu faw ^-^ cweaw ^.^ him. >_> Nyow, >_> what x3 mov'd ;;w;; me >_> to't, 
UwU I xDD wiww be bold with time ÚwÚ and x3 youw attention. 
UwU Then mark x3 th' inducement. ^-^ Thus >w< it came-give :3 heed x3 to't: 
OwO My >_> conscience xDD fiwst weceiv'd :3 a ;;w;; tendewnyess, 
Scruple, ÚwÚ and OwO pwick, on xDD cewtain uWu speeches OwO uttew'd 
^-^ By x3 th' >_> Bishop of Bayonne, xDD then OwO Fwench :3 ambassadow, 
Who xDD had :33 been ÚwÚ hithew sent on x3 the UwU debating 
^-^ A ^.^ mawwiage 'twixt x3 the >w< Duke of Owweans ÚwÚ and 
Our daughter Mary. xDD I' x3 th' ^w^ pwogwess of ÚwÚ this business, 
Ere :3 a :33 detewminyate :33 wesowution, xDD he- 
UwU I >_> mean x3 the Bishop-did xDD wequiwe :3 a x3 wespite 
^-^ Whewein ^.^ he ^w^ might x3 the ^w^ King :33 his ;;w;; wowd advertise 
Whethew UwU ouw daughter :3 wewe wegitimate, 
Wespecting ÚwÚ this UwU ouw ^.^ mawwiage with x3 the ^-^ dowagew, 
Sometimes UwU ouw brother's x3 wife. This x3 wespite >_> shook 
uWu The ^w^ bosom of x3 my OwO conscience, entew'd uWu me, 
Yea, with :3 a x3 spwitting x3 powew, ÚwÚ and UwU made to :3 twembwe 
uWu The wegion of x3 my UwU bweast, which ;;w;; fowc'd xDD such uWu way 
:33 That UwU many ^w^ maz'd considewings uWu did :33 thwong 
xDD And OwO pwess'd uWu in with ÚwÚ this ^w^ caution. ^.^ Fiwst, >_> methought 
UwU I :33 stood nyot uWu in x3 the ;;w;; smiwe of ^.^ heaven, who xDD had 
x3 Commanded ÚwÚ nyatuwe :3 that x3 my >_> wady's womb, 
;;w;; If >w< it conceiv'd :3 a male chiwd ^.^ by uWu me, >_> shouwd 
Do nyo ^.^ mowe ;;w;; offices of >w< wife uWu to't than 
uWu The :3 gwave does to x3 the UwU dead; fow her male x3 issue 
:33 Ow >w< died :3 whewe ;;w;; they :3 wewe made, ow x3 showtwy ÚwÚ aftew 
This wowwd xDD had ^-^ aiw'd OwO them. OwO Hence UwU I >_> took :3 a xDD thought 
This UwU was :3 a ^w^ judgment on uWu me, :3 that x3 my :33 kingdom, 
Weww ÚwÚ wowthy x3 the best heir ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, >_> shouwd nyot 
^w^ Be gladded OwO in't ^.^ by x3 me. UwU Then xDD fowwows :3 that 
UwU I x3 weigh'd x3 the danger which x3 my xDD weawms :33 stood uWu in 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this x3 my UwU issue's fail, ÚwÚ and :3 that uWu gave to ;;w;; me 
xDD Many :3 a ;;w;; gwoanying thwoe. ^-^ Thus OwO huwwing uWu in 
uWu The >w< wiwd sea of x3 my OwO conscience, UwU I uWu did steew 
uWu Towawd ÚwÚ this ^.^ wemedy, whereupon ^.^ we OwO awe 
Now xDD pwesent OwO hewe together; ^w^ that's to >_> say 
UwU I meant to ^-^ wectify x3 my OwO conscience, which 
UwU I xDD then uWu did x3 feew full :33 sick, ÚwÚ and yet nyot weww, 
^-^ By aww x3 the reverend uWu fathews of x3 the ÚwÚ wand 
xDD And ^.^ doctows >w< weawn'd. ^.^ Fiwst, UwU I began uWu in >_> pwivate 
With UwU you, x3 my Lord of ÚwÚ Wincown; xDD you remember 
How :33 undew x3 my oppwession UwU I uWu did ;;w;; week, 
x3 When UwU I xDD fiwst x3 mov'd OwO you. 
LINCOLN. Very weww, x3 my OwO wiege. 
>w< KING. UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke xDD wong; be pleas'd >_> youwsewf to >_> say 
How uWu faw xDD you ^-^ satisfied x3 me. 
LINCOLN. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw >w< Highnyess, 
uWu The ;;w;; question uWu did uWu at xDD fiwst UwU so ÚwÚ staggew me- 
ÚwÚ Beawing :3 a >w< state of ^-^ mighty x3 moment OwO in't 
xDD And >_> consequence of dwead-that UwU I >_> committed 
uWu The dawing'st counsel which UwU I xDD had to doubt, 
xDD And uWu did entweat x3 youw >_> Highnyess to ÚwÚ this course 
>_< Which xDD you OwO awe wunnying hewe. 
>w< KING. UwU I xDD then x3 mov'd UwU you, 
OwO My Lord of Canterbury, ÚwÚ and ^w^ got x3 youw OwO weave 
;;w;; To >_< make ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent >_> summons. Unsolicited 
UwU I left nyo reverend ÚwÚ pewson uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD couwt, 
OwO But ^.^ by xDD pawticuwaw >_< consent >_< pwoceeded 
;;w;; Undew x3 youw ^.^ hands ÚwÚ and seals; OwO thewefowe, OwO go ;;w;; on, 
For nyo :33 diswike :33 i' x3 th' wowwd OwO against x3 the ÚwÚ pewson 
Of x3 the ÚwÚ good :3 Queen, >_> but x3 the ^-^ shawp >_> thowny x3 points 
Of x3 my ÚwÚ awweged ^w^ weasons, drives ÚwÚ this :33 fowwawd. 
^-^ Pwuv >_> but UwU ouw ^.^ mawwiage lawful, ^.^ by x3 my >w< wife 
xDD And >_> kingwy UwU dignyity, ^.^ we OwO awe UwU contented 
;;w;; To ^-^ weaw UwU ouw :3 mowaw >w< state to come with hew, 
ÚwÚ Kathawinye UwU ouw queen, >w< befowe x3 the :3 pwimest creature 
>w< That's x3 pawagon'd ^.^ o' x3 th' wowwd. 
>w< CAMPEIUS. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw >w< Highnyess, 
uWu The xDD Queen ^.^ being uWu absent, UwU 'tis :3 a needful ^.^ fitnyess 
:33 That ^.^ we adjourn ÚwÚ this court >w< tiww further uWu day; 
Meanwhile ^w^ must be >w< an xDD eawnyest >_> motion 
Made to x3 the xDD Queen to caww back her appeaw 
:33 She ^-^ intends >w< unto :33 his Howinyess. 
>w< KING. :3 [Aside] UwU I OwO may >_> pewceive 
;;w;; These cardinals xDD twifwe with x3 me. UwU I abhow 
This >w< diwatowy sloth ÚwÚ and tricks of xDD Wome. 
OwO My weawn'd ÚwÚ and >_> weww-bewuvd uWu sewvant, Cranmer, 
UwU Pwithee wetuwn. With >w< thy appwoach UwU I ^.^ knyow 
OwO My uWu comfowt x3 comes >_> awong. :3 -Bweak x3 up x3 the >_> couwt; 
UwU I say, uWu set :3 on. Exuent uWu in ^w^ mannyew >_< as ;;w;; they UwU entewed 




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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The QUEEN'S >_> apawtments 

Entew x3 the >w< QUEEN ÚwÚ and her UwU women, >_< as uWu at ^.^ wowk 

>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^.^ Take >w< thy :33 wute, >_< wench. OwO My :3 souw gwows 
>_> sad with :3 twoubwes; 
:33 Sing ÚwÚ and UwU dispewse 'em, >_> if xDD thou >_> canst. Weave working. 

OwO SONG 

Owpheus with :33 his ^-^ wute UwU made trees, 
xDD And x3 the OwO mountain >_< tops :3 that >_> fweeze, 
Bow x3 themsewves when ^.^ he uWu did UwU sing; 
;;w;; To :33 his uWu music x3 pwants ÚwÚ and fwowews 
^w^ Evew ^w^ spwung, >_< as sun ÚwÚ and >w< showews 
>_> Thewe xDD had UwU made :3 a :3 wasting ÚwÚ spwing. 

Evewy ^.^ thing :3 that heard ^.^ him ^.^ pway, 
Even x3 the billows of x3 the :33 sea, 
>_> Hung uWu theiw heads ÚwÚ and xDD then uWu way by. 
^w^ In x3 sweet uWu music >_> is xDD such awt, 
Killing :3 cawe ÚwÚ and grief of >_< heawt 
Fall ;;w;; asweep ow hearing die. 

Entew :3 a ^-^ GENTWEMAN 

>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. How ^.^ nyow? 
OwO GENTWEMAN. ;;w;; An't uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, x3 the >w< two great Cardinals 
uWu Wait uWu in x3 the pwesence. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. Wouwd ;;w;; they speak with me? 
OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ They >_> wiww'd ;;w;; me >_> say >_> so, UwU madam. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. >_> Pway uWu theiw OwO Gwaces 
;;w;; To come ÚwÚ nyeaw. ;;w;; [Exit GENTWEMAN] >_> What ^.^ can be uWu theiw business 
With uWu me, :3 a poor xDD weak ^w^ woman, fall'n from uWu favouw? 
UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike uWu theiw :3 coming. Now UwU I think on't, 
^-^ They >_> shouwd be ÚwÚ good men, uWu theiw affairs >_< as wighteous; 
OwO But aww ^.^ hoods >_< make nyot :33 monks. 

Entew x3 the >w< two ;;w;; CAWDINyAWS, ÚwÚ WOWSEY ÚwÚ and CAMPEIUS 

^.^ WOWSEY. :3 Peace to x3 youw OwO Highnyess! 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. uWu Youw OwO Gwaces find ;;w;; me OwO hewe ÚwÚ pawt of uWu housewife; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd be all, OwO against x3 the worst OwO may ^w^ happen. 
>_> What OwO awe x3 youw >_< pweasuwes with uWu me, reverend lords? 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, x3 nyobwe UwU madam, to >_< withdwaw 
^.^ Into x3 youw >_> pwivate chamber, ^.^ we UwU shaww UwU give xDD you 
uWu The full cause of UwU ouw :3 coming. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^w^ Speak >w< it ^.^ hewe; 
>_> Thewe's >_< nyothing UwU I uWu have donye ^w^ yet, ^.^ o' x3 my OwO conscience, 
>_> Desewves :3 a ;;w;; cownyew. Wouwd aww othew x3 women 
Could speak ÚwÚ this with >_< as fwee :3 a :3 souw >_< as UwU I :33 do! 
OwO My wowds, UwU I :3 cawe not-so much UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ happy 
Abuv :3 a xDD nyumbew-if x3 my ;;w;; actions 
^.^ Wewe ;;w;; twied ^.^ by OwO ev'wy ;;w;; tongue, OwO ev'wy ^w^ eye saw 'em, 
Envy ÚwÚ and UwU base opinyion uWu set OwO against 'em, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my >w< wife UwU so xDD even. ;;w;; If x3 youw business 
;;w;; Seek ;;w;; me ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and :3 that uWu way UwU I ^w^ am >w< wife x3 in, 
UwU Out with >w< it boldly; uWu twuth loves open UwU deawing. 
^.^ WOWSEY. Tanta ;;w;; est erga te xDD mentis integwitas, ^-^ weginya serenis-sima- 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. >_< O, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, nyo Latin! 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot xDD such :3 a ^w^ twuant xDD since x3 my uWu coming, 
;;w;; As nyot to ^.^ knyow x3 the language UwU I uWu have liv'd UwU in; 
^-^ A ;;w;; stwange >_> tongue x3 makes x3 my cause ^.^ mowe >_> stwange, suspicious; 
>_> Pway speak uWu in Engwish. :3 Hewe OwO awe x3 some xDD wiww >_> thank UwU you, 
;;w;; If xDD you speak truth, fow uWu theiw poor >_< mistwess' >_< sake: 
:3 Bewieve uWu me, ^.^ she >_> has xDD had much wrong. Lord Cardinal, 
uWu The wiwwing'st x3 sin UwU I OwO evew yet >_> committed 
^-^ May be absolv'd uWu in Engwish. 
^.^ WOWSEY. Noble UwU wady, 
UwU I ^w^ am sowwy x3 my >_< integwity >_> shouwd ^-^ bweed, 
xDD And OwO sewvice to :33 his ;;w;; Majesty ÚwÚ and UwU you, 
^w^ So >_> deep suspicion, :3 whewe aww :33 faith UwU was meant 
We come nyot ^.^ by x3 the uWu way of :33 accusation 
;;w;; To ^w^ taint :3 that honour every ÚwÚ good >_> tongue bwesses, 
x3 Nyow to ÚwÚ betway xDD you xDD any uWu way to ^.^ sowwow- 
>_> You uWu have ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wady; >_> but to ^.^ knyow 
How xDD you stand >_> minded uWu in x3 the ^.^ weighty ^.^ diffewence 
Between x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and UwU you, ÚwÚ and to x3 dewivew, 
Wike fwee ÚwÚ and xDD honyest men, UwU ouw >w< just OwO opinyions 
xDD And UwU comfowts to x3 youw OwO cause. 
>w< CAMPEIUS. :3 Most :3 honyouw'd UwU madam, 
OwO My Lord of York, x3 out of :33 his x3 nyobwe nyatuwe, 
>_> Zeaw ÚwÚ and ^.^ obedience ^.^ he still bore x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
^w^ Fowgetting, ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ good ^w^ man, x3 youw wate UwU censuwe 
UwU Both of :33 his uWu twuth ÚwÚ and >w< him-which UwU was ^w^ too far- 
>_> Offews, >_< as UwU I UwU do, uWu in :3 a xDD sign of ÚwÚ peace, 
ÚwÚ His OwO sewvice ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 counsew. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; To ÚwÚ betway OwO me.- 
OwO My wowds, UwU I >_> thank xDD you both fow x3 youw ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ wins; 
^-^ Ye speak ^.^ wike xDD honyest :3 men-pway ^w^ God OwO ye ^-^ pwuv so! 
OwO But >w< how to >_< make OwO ye ;;w;; suddenwy >w< an ÚwÚ answew, 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a :33 point of ÚwÚ weight, UwU so nyeaw >_< minye honyouw, 
uWu Mowe nyeaw x3 my :3 wife, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, with x3 my xDD weak ^w^ wit, 
xDD And to xDD such ;;w;; men of >_< gwavity ÚwÚ and ^w^ weawnying, 
^w^ In uWu twuth UwU I ^.^ knyow not. UwU I UwU was uWu set uWu at ^.^ wowk 
>_> Among x3 my >_< maids, full UwU wittwe, ^w^ God ;;w;; knyows, ^w^ wooking 
^-^ Eithew fow xDD such ;;w;; men ow xDD such business. 
For her ÚwÚ sake :3 that UwU I uWu have UwU been-fow UwU I x3 feew 
uWu The >w< wast ;;w;; fit of x3 my UwU gweatnyess-good x3 youw OwO Gwaces, 
Let ;;w;; me uWu have time ÚwÚ and counsel fow x3 my OwO cause. 
ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^w^ woman, ^.^ fwiendwess, hopeless! 
^.^ WOWSEY. uWu Madam, xDD you wrong x3 the >_< King's wuv with these fears; 
uWu Youw hopes ÚwÚ and ^w^ fwiends OwO awe :33 infinyite. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^w^ In England 
OwO But xDD wittwe fow x3 my ^-^ pwofit; ^.^ can xDD you >_< think, wowds, 
:33 That xDD any xDD Engwishman dawe UwU give ;;w;; me counsew? 
:33 Ow be :3 a ÚwÚ knyown fwiend, uWu 'gainst :33 his Highness' pleasure- 
;;w;; Though ^.^ he be grown UwU so despewate to be honest- 
xDD And ^w^ wive :3 a >w< subject? Nyay, xDD fowsooth, x3 my OwO fwiends, 
^-^ They :3 that ^w^ must >w< weigh x3 out x3 my UwU affwictions, 
^-^ They :3 that x3 my :33 twust ^w^ must gwow ^.^ to, ^w^ wive nyot ^.^ hewe; 
^-^ They awe, >_< as aww x3 my othew uWu comfowts, uWu faw hence, 
^w^ In >_< minye UwU own country, lords. 
>w< CAMPEIUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw Gwace 
Wouwd OwO weave x3 youw ^.^ gwiefs, ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 my :3 counsew. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. How, UwU siw? 
>w< CAMPEIUS. >_> Put x3 youw :33 main cause x3 into x3 the >_< King's ÚwÚ pwotection; 
He's >w< woving ÚwÚ and UwU most gracious. 'Twiww be much 
UwU Both fow x3 youw honour xDD bettew ÚwÚ and x3 youw cause; 
For >_> if x3 the uWu twiaw of x3 the law >_> o'ewtake OwO ye 
You'll ÚwÚ pawt OwO away >_> disgwac'd. 
^.^ WOWSEY. >w< He uWu tewws xDD you wightwy. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^-^ Ye tell ;;w;; me >_> what OwO ye ÚwÚ wish fow ÚwÚ both-my UwU wuin. 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 youw Christian counsew? UwU Out ;;w;; upon ;;w;; ye! 
uWu Heaven >_> is :33 abuv aww yet: there >_> sits :3 a xDD Judge 
:33 That nyo x3 king ^.^ can OwO cowwupt. 
>w< CAMPEIUS. uWu Youw xDD wage :33 mistakes >_> us. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. uWu The ^.^ mowe ^-^ shame fow ye; >w< howy ;;w;; men UwU I xDD thought :3 ye, 
>_> Upon x3 my x3 souw, >w< two reverend ;;w;; cawdinyaw ÚwÚ viwtues; 
OwO But ;;w;; cawdinyaw :3 sins ÚwÚ and OwO howwow heawts UwU I feaw uWu ye. 
Mend 'em, fow UwU shame, x3 my lords. Is ÚwÚ this x3 youw comfowt? 
uWu The cowdiaw :3 that OwO ye ;;w;; bwing :3 a wwetched lady- 
^-^ A OwO woman wost ^-^ among :3 ye, >_< waugh'd :3 at, scown'd? 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ wish OwO ye half x3 my x3 misewies: 
UwU I uWu have ^.^ mowe charity; >_> but >_> say UwU I warned uWu ye. 
^.^ Take ^-^ heed, fow heaven's ÚwÚ sake OwO take ^-^ heed, xDD west uWu at >_> once 
uWu The buwden of x3 my ^w^ sowwows faww ;;w;; upon uWu ye. 
^.^ WOWSEY. uWu Madam, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a mere :3 distwaction; 
>_> You turn x3 the ÚwÚ good ^.^ we offer x3 into envy. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^-^ Ye turn ;;w;; me x3 into OwO nyothing. ;;w;; Woe ;;w;; upon :3 ye, 
xDD And aww xDD such UwU fawse pwofessows! Wouwd xDD you uWu have me- 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu have xDD any justice, xDD any pity, 
;;w;; If OwO ye be xDD any ^.^ thing >_> but chuwchmen's uWu habits- 
>_> Put x3 my >w< sick cause x3 into :33 his ^.^ hands :3 that hates me? 
^-^ Awas! >_> has banyish'd ;;w;; me :33 his x3 bed already, 
ÚwÚ His wuv ^w^ too ^-^ wong uWu ago! UwU I ^w^ am :3 owd, x3 my wowds, 
xDD And aww x3 the fewwowship UwU I howd nyow with ^.^ him 
Is >w< onwy x3 my ^w^ obedience. >_> What ^.^ can :33 happen 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me :33 abuv ÚwÚ this wretchedness? All x3 youw x3 studies 
^-^ Make ;;w;; me :3 a UwU cuwse ^.^ wike UwU this. 
>w< CAMPEIUS. uWu Youw OwO feaws OwO awe x3 wowse. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. :3 Have UwU I liv'd OwO thus OwO wong-wet ;;w;; me speak myself, 
Since viwtue ÚwÚ finds nyo friends-a :3 wife, :3 a true onye? 
^-^ A ^w^ woman, UwU I dawe >_> say ^-^ without vain-gwowy, 
xDD Nyevew yet ^w^ bwanded with ^-^ suspicion? 
:3 Have UwU I with aww x3 my full affections 
UwU Stiww >w< met x3 the OwO King, :3 wov'd ^.^ him :3 nyext >w< heav'n, obey'd :3 him, 
Been, x3 out of fondness, superstitious to :3 him, 
Awmost fowgot x3 my >_< pwayews to :3 content :3 him, 
xDD And ^w^ am UwU I OwO thus UwU wewawded? 'Tis nyot weww, lords. 
Bring ;;w;; me :3 a ^w^ constant OwO woman to her ^.^ husband, 
x3 Onye :3 that ^w^ nye'ew ^.^ dweam'd :3 a joy ^w^ beyond :33 his x3 pweasuwe, 
xDD And to :3 that ^w^ woman, when ^.^ she >_> has donye :3 most, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD wiww UwU I >_< add >w< an ^.^ honyouw-a great OwO patience. 
^.^ WOWSEY. uWu Madam, xDD you >w< wandew from x3 the ÚwÚ good ^.^ we aim at. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I dawe nyot >_< make mysewf UwU so x3 guiwty, 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 up ^w^ wiwwingwy :3 that x3 nyobwe ;;w;; titwe 
uWu Youw >_< mastew x3 wed ;;w;; me :3 to: >_< nyothing >_> but :33 death 
Shall ;;w;; e'ew :3 divowce x3 my ;;w;; dignyities. 
^.^ WOWSEY. >_> Pway hear x3 me. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. Wouwd UwU I xDD had >_< nyevew twod ÚwÚ this :3 Engwish earth, 
:33 Ow UwU fewt x3 the flatteries :3 that gwow ;;w;; upon :3 it! 
^-^ Ye uWu have angews' uWu faces, >_> but heaven xDD knyows x3 youw >w< heawts. 
>_> What xDD wiww :33 become of ;;w;; me now, wwetched x3 wady? 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the UwU most xDD unhappy OwO woman ^-^ wiving. 
:33 [To her WOMEN] ÚwÚ Awas, poor :33 wenches, :3 whewe OwO awe nyow 
x3 youw ;;w;; fowtunyes? 
Shipwweck'd ;;w;; upon :3 a :33 kingdom, :3 whewe nyo pity, 
No OwO fwiends, nyo >_> hope; nyo >w< kindwed xDD weep fow OwO me; 
Awmost nyo :3 gwave UwU awwow'd x3 me. Wike x3 the >_> My, 
:33 That >_> once UwU was mistwess of x3 the >_> fiewd, ÚwÚ and fwouwish'd, 
I'll ^w^ hang x3 my >_> head ÚwÚ and x3 pewish. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ;;w;; If x3 youw Gwace 
Could >_> but be ^.^ bwought to ^.^ knyow UwU ouw uWu ends OwO awe OwO honyest, 
UwU You'd x3 feew ^.^ mowe UwU comfowt. Why >_> shouwd :33 we, ÚwÚ good UwU wady, 
>_> Upon >_> what >_< cause, wrong you? ÚwÚ Awas, UwU ouw OwO pwaces, 
uWu The uWu way of UwU ouw pwofession >_> is OwO against uWu it; 
We OwO awe to >w< cuwe xDD such sowwows, nyot to ;;w;; sow ^.^ 'em. 
For goodnyess' ^w^ sake, OwO considew >_> what xDD you do; 
How xDD you OwO may ÚwÚ huwt yourself, :33 ay, ;;w;; uttewwy 
OwO Gwow from x3 the >_< King's ÚwÚ acquaintance, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this *twerks* cawwiage. 
uWu The heawts of pwinces :3 kiss xDD obedience, 
^w^ So much ;;w;; they wuv uWu it; >_> but to ^-^ stubbown ;;w;; spiwits 
^-^ They sweww ÚwÚ and gwow >_< as tewwibwe >_< as storms. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you uWu have :3 a gentwe, x3 nyobwe :33 tempew, 
^-^ A :3 souw >_< as even >_< as :3 a :33 cawm. >_> Pway think >_> us 
>w< Those ^.^ we ^-^ pwofess, peace-makews, OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and xDD sewvants. 
>w< CAMPEIUS. uWu Madam, you'ww find >w< it :3 so. >_> You wrong x3 youw uWu viwtues 
With these xDD weak x3 women's fears. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe ^-^ spiwit, 
;;w;; As >_> youws UwU was put x3 into UwU you, OwO evew uWu casts 
>w< Such xDD doubts >_< as UwU fawse ^-^ coin from :3 it. uWu The ^w^ King loves uWu you; 
;;w;; Bewawe xDD you wose >w< it not. For us, >_> if xDD you uWu pwease 
;;w;; To :33 twust >_> us uWu in x3 youw business, ^.^ we OwO awe ready 
;;w;; To use UwU ouw utmost x3 studies uWu in x3 youw service. 
>w< QUEEN ^.^ KATHAWINyE. Do >_> what OwO ye xDD wiww x3 my :3 wowds; ÚwÚ and pray 
:33 fowgive ;;w;; me 
;;w;; If UwU I uWu have ;;w;; us'd mysewf unmannerly; 
>_> You ^.^ knyow UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^w^ woman, >_> wacking wit 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a >w< seemwy answew to xDD such ÚwÚ pewsons. 
>_> Pway UwU do x3 my OwO sewvice to :33 his :3 Majesty; 
>w< He >_> has x3 my >_< heawt ^w^ yet, ÚwÚ and UwU shaww uWu have x3 my >_< pwayews 
While UwU I UwU shaww uWu have x3 my life. ^.^ Come, reverend fathers, 
Bestow x3 youw uWu counsews on OwO me; ^.^ she nyow begs 
:33 That xDD wittwe ^-^ thought, when ^.^ she uWu set footing UwU hewe, 
:33 She >_> shouwd uWu have xDD bought her >_> dignyities UwU so deaw. Exeunt 



^.^ ACT ;;w;; III.SCENE uWu 2. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK, x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF x3 SUFFOWK, x3 the EARL ÚwÚ OF uWu SUWWEY, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< WOWD ^-^ CHAMBEWWAIN 

NyOWFOWK. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww nyow uWu unyite uWu in x3 youw >w< compwaints 
xDD And force them with :3 a >_< constancy, x3 the Cardinal 
UwU Cannyot stand :33 undew ^w^ them: >_> if xDD you x3 omit 
uWu The offer of ÚwÚ this time, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot promise 
OwO But :3 that xDD you UwU shaww >_< sustain ^-^ moe x3 nyew disgraces 
With these xDD you UwU beaw >_< awweady. 
SUWWEY. UwU I ^w^ am >w< joyfuw 
;;w;; To :3 meet x3 the least ;;w;; occasion :3 that OwO may UwU give ;;w;; me 
;;w;; Wemembwance of x3 my ÚwÚ fathew-in-waw, x3 the ;;w;; Duke, 
;;w;; To be ^w^ weveng'd on ^.^ him. 
x3 SUFFOWK. >_< Which of x3 the peews 
:3 Have >w< uncontemn'd >_> gonye ^.^ by :3 him, ow uWu at least 
Strangely ;;w;; nyegwected? x3 When uWu did ^.^ he regard 
uWu The stamp of nobleness uWu in xDD any ÚwÚ pewson 
UwU Out of :33 himsewf? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. OwO My wowds, xDD you speak x3 youw xDD pweasuwes. 
>_> What ^.^ he >_> desewves of xDD you ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me UwU I know; 
>_> What ^.^ we ^.^ can UwU do to >w< him-though nyow x3 the time 
>w< Gives uWu way to >_> us-I much ;;w;; feaw. ;;w;; If xDD you ;;w;; cannyot 
>_< Baw :33 his x3 access to x3 th' OwO King, >_< nyevew x3 attempt 
:3 Anything on him; fow ^.^ he hath :3 a uWu witchcwaft 
Over x3 the ^w^ King in's :33 tongue. 
NyOWFOWK. >_< O, feaw ^.^ him ^w^ nyot! 
ÚwÚ His speww uWu in :3 that >_> is out; x3 the ^w^ King hath >_> found 
Matter OwO against ^.^ him :3 that fow OwO evew ;;w;; maws 
uWu The honey of :33 his >_> wanguage. :3 Nyo, uWu he's >_> settwed, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to come ^w^ off, uWu in :33 his dispweasuwe. 
SUWWEY. UwU Siw, 
UwU I >_> shouwd be uWu gwad to hear xDD such nyews >_< as ÚwÚ this 
Once every hour. 
NyOWFOWK. :3 Bewieve :33 it, ÚwÚ this >_> is >_> twue: 
^w^ In x3 the :3 divowce :33 his :33 contwawy proceedings 
^w^ Awe aww ^.^ unfowded; wherein ^.^ he >_> appeaws 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ wish >_< minye enemy. 
SUWWEY. How ^-^ came 
ÚwÚ His pwactices to wight? 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 Most ;;w;; Stwangewy. 
SUWWEY. >_< O, how, ÚwÚ how? 
x3 SUFFOWK. uWu The ;;w;; Cawdinyaw's x3 wettews to x3 the ^.^ Pope ^.^ miscawwied, 
xDD And ^-^ came to x3 th' ^w^ eye ^.^ o' x3 th' uWu King; wherein UwU was ^w^ wead 
How :3 that x3 the Cardinal uWu did entweat :33 his Howinyess 
;;w;; To xDD stay x3 the ^w^ judgment ^.^ o' x3 th' divowce; fow >_> if 
^.^ It uWu did OwO take pwace, ÚwÚ 'I UwU do' quoth ^.^ he >_> 'pewceive 
OwO My x3 king >_> is tangled uWu in :3 affection to 
^-^ A creature of x3 the :33 Queen's, xDD Wady >_> Annye uWu Buwwen.' 
SUWWEY. x3 Has x3 the ^w^ King :3 this? 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 Bewieve :3 it. 
SUWWEY. Will ÚwÚ this wowk? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. uWu The ^w^ King uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ pewceives ^.^ him >w< how ^.^ he :3 coasts 
xDD And x3 hedges :33 his UwU own >_> way. OwO But uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 point 
All :33 his tricks foundew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_< bwings :33 his ;;w;; physic 
>w< Aftew :33 his ÚwÚ patient's :3 death: x3 the ^w^ King xDD awweady 
>_< Hath mawwied x3 the >w< faiw >_> wady. 
SUWWEY. Wouwd ^.^ he :33 had! 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ May xDD you be ^w^ happy uWu in x3 youw wish, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
For, UwU I ^-^ pwofess, xDD you uWu have :3 it. 
SUWWEY. >_> Nyow, aww x3 my joy 
>w< Twace x3 the conjunction! 
x3 SUFFOWK. OwO My ^-^ amen to't! 
NyOWFOWK. ^-^ An men's! 
x3 SUFFOWK. >_> Thewe's order UwU given fow her cowonyation; 
OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ this >_> is yet >_> but >_> young, ÚwÚ and OwO may be left 
;;w;; To x3 some OwO eaws unrecounted. But, x3 my wowds, 
:33 She >_> is :3 a OwO gawwant x3 cweatuwe, ÚwÚ and complete 
^w^ In ^-^ mind ÚwÚ and >_> featuwe. UwU I :33 pewsuade ;;w;; me from her 
Will faww x3 some >_> bwessing to ÚwÚ this land, which UwU shaww 
^w^ In >w< it be memoriz'd. 
SUWWEY. OwO But xDD wiww x3 the ^w^ King 
^-^ Digest ÚwÚ this >_> wettew of x3 the Cawdinyaw's? 
uWu The Lord fowbid! 
NyOWFOWK. OwO Mawwy, >_< amen! 
x3 SUFFOWK. :3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; 
>_> Thewe be ^-^ moe xDD wasps :3 that ^.^ buzz about :33 his x3 nyose 
Will >_< make ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ sting x3 the soonyew. Cardinal x3 Campeius 
Is :3 stow'n OwO away to Rome; hath >_> ta'en nyo :3 weave; 
x3 Has left x3 the cause ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ King :33 unhandwed, ÚwÚ and 
Is ÚwÚ posted, >_< as x3 the agent of UwU ouw Cardinal, 
;;w;; To second aww :33 his ;;w;; pwot. UwU I UwU do :33 assuwe xDD you 
uWu The ^w^ King cried uWu 'Ha!' uWu at UwU this. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. >_> Nyow, ^w^ God >w< incense :3 him, 
xDD And wet ^.^ him cwy uWu 'Ha!' louder! 
NyOWFOWK. But, x3 my uWu wowd, 
x3 When wetuwns ^w^ Cwanmew? 
x3 SUFFOWK. >w< He >_> is wetuwn'd uWu in :33 his opinions; which 
:3 Have ^-^ satisfied x3 the ^w^ King fow :33 his ^w^ divowce, 
OwO Togethew with aww famous colleges 
Awmost uWu in Chwistendom. ÚwÚ Showtwy, UwU I :33 bewieve, 
ÚwÚ His second ^.^ mawwiage UwU shaww be >w< pubwish'd, ÚwÚ and 
:3 Hew x3 cowonyation. ÚwÚ Kathawinye nyo ^.^ mowe 
Shall be ^w^ caww'd queen, >_> but ^-^ pwincess ^w^ dowagew 
xDD And ^.^ widow to Prince Arthur. 
NyOWFOWK. This same Cranmer's 
^-^ A ÚwÚ wowthy fewwow, ÚwÚ and hath >_> ta'en much :33 pain 
^w^ In x3 the >_< King's business. 
x3 SUFFOWK. >w< He uWu has; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we UwU shaww >_> see ^.^ him 
For >w< it >w< an ^w^ awchbishop. 
NyOWFOWK. ^w^ So UwU I heaw. 
x3 SUFFOWK. 'Tis :3 so. 

Entew ÚwÚ WOWSEY ÚwÚ and CROMWELL 

uWu The xDD Cawdinyaw! 
NyOWFOWK. ^-^ Obsewve, :33 obsewve, uWu he's OwO moody. 
^.^ WOWSEY. uWu The packet, uWu Cwomweww, 
OwO Gave't xDD you x3 the >_> King? 
CWOMWEWW. ;;w;; To :33 his UwU own uWu hand, in's ÚwÚ bedchambew. 
^.^ WOWSEY. Wook'd ^.^ he ^.^ o' x3 th' inside of x3 the papew? 
CWOMWEWW. Pwesentwy 
>w< He uWu did >w< unseaw OwO them; ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD fiwst ^.^ he xDD view'd, 
>w< He uWu did >w< it with :3 a sewious xDD mind; :3 a :3 heed 
Was uWu in :33 his ÚwÚ countenyance. >_> You ^.^ he ;;w;; bade 
uWu Attend ^.^ him OwO hewe ÚwÚ this xDD mownying. 
^.^ WOWSEY. Is ^.^ he ready 
;;w;; To come abroad? 
CWOMWEWW. UwU I think ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ^.^ he >w< is. 
^.^ WOWSEY. Weave ;;w;; me OwO awhiwe. uWu Exit CROMWELL 
:3 [Aside] ^.^ It UwU shaww be to x3 the :3 Duchess of Awencon, 
uWu The OwO Fwench >_< King's x3 sistew; ^.^ he UwU shaww marry her. 
>_> Annye Bullen! :3 Nyo, I'll nyo >_> Annye Bullens fow him; 
>_> Thewe's ^.^ mowe OwO in't than >w< faiw ^-^ visage. Bullen! 
:3 Nyo, we'll nyo ^-^ Buwwens. Speediwy UwU I ÚwÚ wish 
;;w;; To hear from xDD Wome. uWu The Mawchionyess of >_> Pembwoke! 
NyOWFOWK. He's uWu discontented. 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^-^ May be ^.^ he x3 heaws x3 the ^w^ King 
ÚwÚ Does ^w^ whet :33 his ÚwÚ angew to ^.^ him. 
SUWWEY. ^-^ Shawp UwU enyough, 
Wowd, fow >w< thy ^.^ justice! 
^.^ WOWSEY. :3 [Aside] uWu The wate Queen's gentwewoman, :3 a >_> knyight's 
^w^ daughtew, 
;;w;; To be her >_< mistwess' mistwess! uWu The Queen's ^.^ queen! 
This x3 candwe buwns nyot UwU cweaw. 'Tis UwU I ^w^ must ;;w;; snyuff uWu it; 
UwU Then x3 out >w< it >w< goes. >_> What ^w^ though UwU I ^.^ knyow her virtuous 
xDD And weww desewving? ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^.^ knyow her fow 
^-^ A spleeny :33 Wuthewan; ÚwÚ and nyot whowesome to 
Our cause :3 that ^.^ she >_> shouwd >_< wie :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ bosom of 
Our hawd-wuw'd ;;w;; King. ^-^ Again, there >_> is sprung x3 up 
^-^ An heretic, >w< an ^-^ awch one, Cwanmew; one 
>_< Hath cwaww'd x3 into x3 the ^.^ favouw of x3 the OwO King, 
xDD And >_> is :33 his owacwe. 
NyOWFOWK. >w< He >_> is vex'd uWu at OwO something. 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, weading of :3 a schedule, ÚwÚ and :3 WOVEWW 

SUWWEY. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< 'twewe ^-^ something :3 that ^.^ wouwd fret x3 the :3 stwing, 
uWu The master-cord UwU on's :33 heawt! 
x3 SUFFOWK. uWu The OwO King, x3 the King! 
>w< KING. >_> What piles of weawth hath ^.^ he accumulated 
;;w;; To :33 his UwU own OwO powtion! xDD And >_> what expense ^.^ by x3 th' >_> houw 
x3 Seems to fwow from x3 him! How, :33 i' x3 th' xDD nyame of thwift, 
ÚwÚ Does ^.^ he wake ÚwÚ this together?-Now, x3 my wowds, 
^.^ Saw xDD you x3 the ÚwÚ Cawdinyaw? 
NyOWFOWK. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ we uWu have 
^w^ Stood OwO hewe OwO obsewving ^.^ him. ;;w;; Some ;;w;; stwange x3 commotion 
Is uWu in :33 his ^-^ bwain: ^.^ he ^w^ bites :33 his >_< wip ÚwÚ and stawts, 
xDD Stops on :3 a x3 sudden, :33 wooks ;;w;; upon x3 the ground, 
UwU Then ways :33 his finger on :33 his xDD tempwe; ^w^ stwaight 
Springs x3 out x3 into ÚwÚ fast gait; xDD then xDD stops OwO again, 
Strikes :33 his breast hard; ÚwÚ and :3 anyon ^.^ he uWu casts 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ eye OwO against x3 the x3 moon. ^w^ In UwU most ;;w;; stwange postuwes 
We uWu have :3 seen ^.^ him uWu set himself. 
>w< KING. ^.^ It OwO may weww be 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a mutiny in's :33 mind. This mownying 
Papews of >w< state ^.^ he sent ;;w;; me to OwO pewuse, 
;;w;; As UwU I x3 wequiw'd; ÚwÚ and uWu wot xDD you >_> what UwU I >_> found 
>_< Thewe-on x3 my OwO conscience, put ^.^ unwittingwy? 
Forsooth, >w< an xDD inventowy, OwO thus UwU impowting 
uWu The sevewaw x3 pawcews of :33 his ;;w;; pwate, :33 his treasure, 
Wich xDD stuffs, ÚwÚ and ownyaments of household; which 
UwU I find uWu at xDD such OwO pwoud wate :3 that >w< it >_> outspeaks 
Possession of :3 a xDD subject. 
NyOWFOWK. x3 It's heaven's :33 wiww; 
;;w;; Some ^w^ spiwit put ÚwÚ this paper uWu in x3 the packet 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwess x3 youw ^w^ eye uWu withaw. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; If ^.^ we uWu did think 
ÚwÚ His >_< contempwation :3 wewe :33 abuv x3 the ^.^ eawth 
xDD And fix'd on ÚwÚ spiwituaw ÚwÚ object, ^.^ he >_> shouwd still 
dwell uWu in :33 his ^-^ musings; >_> but UwU I ^w^ am :33 afwaid 
ÚwÚ His uWu thinkings OwO awe bewow x3 the ;;w;; moon, nyot ^.^ wowth 
ÚwÚ His sewious considering. 
;;w;; [The ;;w;; KING UwU takes :33 his uWu seat ÚwÚ and :3 whispews LOVELL, 
who xDD goes to x3 the ^.^ CAWDINyAW] 
^.^ WOWSEY. uWu Heaven :33 fowgive me! 
^w^ Evew ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 youw OwO Highnyess! 
>w< KING. OwO Good, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> You OwO awe full of ^-^ heavenwy stuff, ÚwÚ and UwU beaw x3 the >_< inventowy 
Of x3 youw best uWu gwaces uWu in x3 youw xDD mind; x3 the which 
>_> You :3 wewe nyow wunnying >_< o'ew. >_> You uWu have scawce time 
;;w;; To ^.^ steaw from ÚwÚ spiwituaw leisure :3 a bwief xDD span 
;;w;; To >_< keep x3 youw ÚwÚ eawthwy :33 audit; x3 suwe, uWu in :3 that 
UwU I >w< deem xDD you >w< an :33 iww ^.^ husband, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am uWu gwad 
;;w;; To uWu have xDD you thewein x3 my companyion. 
^.^ WOWSEY. UwU Siw, 
For >w< howy ;;w;; offices UwU I uWu have :3 a time; :3 a time 
;;w;; To think ;;w;; upon x3 the ÚwÚ pawt of business which 
UwU I UwU beaw :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ state; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ nyatuwe does xDD wequiwe 
:3 Hew times of UwU pwesewvation, which ^.^ pewfowce 
I, her frail x3 son, amongst x3 my >_< bwethwen mowtaw, 
:3 Must UwU give x3 my OwO tendance ;;w;; to. 
>w< KING. >_> You uWu have uWu said well. 
^.^ WOWSEY. xDD And OwO evew OwO may x3 youw >_> Highnyess x3 yoke together, 
;;w;; As UwU I xDD wiww xDD wend xDD you >_< cause, x3 my xDD doing weww 
With x3 my weww x3 saying! 
>w< KING. 'Tis weww uWu said again; 
xDD And UwU 'tis :3 a uWu kind of ÚwÚ good ^.^ deed to >_> say well; 
xDD And yet wowds OwO awe nyo >_> deeds. OwO My >w< fathew :3 wov'd xDD you: 
>w< He uWu said ^.^ he ^.^ did; ÚwÚ and with :33 his ^.^ deed uWu did >_< cwown 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; wowd ;;w;; upon OwO you. Since UwU I xDD had x3 my ^.^ office 
UwU I uWu have :33 kept xDD you :3 nyext x3 my heawt; uWu have nyot awonye 
Employ'd xDD you :3 whewe xDD high pwofits ^w^ might come ^.^ home, 
OwO But x3 paw'd x3 my xDD pwesent havings to bestow 
OwO My bounties ;;w;; upon OwO you. 
^.^ WOWSEY. :3 [Aside] >_> What >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this ^.^ mean? 
SUWWEY. :3 [Aside] uWu The Lord incwease ÚwÚ this businyess! 
>w< KING. :3 Have UwU I nyot UwU made xDD you 
uWu The prime x3 man of x3 the ÚwÚ state? UwU I pray xDD you tell ;;w;; me 
;;w;; If >_> what UwU I nyow pwonyounce xDD you uWu have >_> found true; 
^.^ And, >_> if xDD you OwO may x3 confess :33 it, >_> say withal 
;;w;; If xDD you OwO awe bound to >_> us ow >w< nyo. >_> What >_> say you? 
^.^ WOWSEY. OwO My sovereign, UwU I x3 confess x3 youw royal graces, 
:3 Show'w'd on ;;w;; me UwU daiwy, uWu have :33 been ^.^ mowe than couwd 
OwO My xDD studied uWu puwposes :33 wequite; which OwO went 
^.^ Beyond aww :33 man's ^-^ endeavouws. OwO My endeavouws, 
:3 Have OwO evew come ^w^ too showt of x3 my desires, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ fiw'd with x3 my UwU abiwities; >_< minye UwU own uWu ends 
:3 Have :33 been >_< minye UwU so :3 that evewmowe ;;w;; they :3 pointed 
;;w;; To x3 th' ÚwÚ good of x3 youw UwU most uWu sacwed ÚwÚ pewson ÚwÚ and 
uWu The pwofit of x3 the state. For x3 youw great uWu gwaces 
^-^ Heap'd ;;w;; upon uWu me, poor undesewvew, UwU I 
UwU Can >_< nyothing render >_> but x3 awwegiant ^w^ thanks; 
OwO My :33 pway'ws to heaven fow uWu you; x3 my OwO woyawty, 
>_< Which OwO evew >_> has ÚwÚ and OwO evew UwU shaww be UwU gwowing, 
Tiww UwU death, :3 that UwU wintew, OwO kiww :3 it. 
>w< KING. OwO Faiwwy >_< answew'd! 
^-^ A loyal ÚwÚ and obedient x3 subject >_> is 
OwO Thewein illustrated; x3 the honour of >w< it 
ÚwÚ Does x3 pay x3 the ;;w;; act of :33 it, as, :33 i' x3 th' >_< contwawy, 
uWu The OwO fouwnyess >_> is x3 the punyishment. UwU I presume 
^.^ That, >_< as x3 my uWu hand >_> has ^-^ open'd >_> bounty to UwU you, 
OwO My >_< heawt ÚwÚ dwopp'd xDD wuv, x3 my pow'w ^w^ wain'd honyouw, ^.^ mowe 
On xDD you than uWu any, UwU so x3 youw uWu hand ÚwÚ and uWu heawt, 
uWu Youw :3 bwain, ÚwÚ and every ^.^ function of x3 youw x3 powew, 
Should, :3 nyotwithstanding :3 that x3 youw :3 bond of >_< duty, 
;;w;; As >w< 'twewe uWu in love's UwU pawticuwaw, be ^.^ mowe 
;;w;; To uWu me, x3 youw fwiend, than ÚwÚ any. 
^.^ WOWSEY. UwU I UwU do pwofess 
:33 That fow x3 youw Highness' ÚwÚ good UwU I OwO evew labour'd 
uWu Mowe than >_< minye >_> own; :3 that am, have, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ^-^ be- 
;;w;; Though aww x3 the wowwd >_> shouwd UwU cwack uWu theiw >_> duty to UwU you, 
xDD And ^-^ thwow >w< it from uWu theiw ^.^ souw; ^w^ though perils uWu did 
;;w;; Abound >_< as thick >_< as xDD thought couwd >_< make 'em, ÚwÚ and 
Appear uWu in uWu fowms ^.^ mowe >_> howwid-yet x3 my >_< duty, 
;;w;; As xDD doth :3 a OwO wock OwO against x3 the chiding flood, 
Should x3 the appwoach of ÚwÚ this >w< wiwd river break, 
xDD And stand ÚwÚ unshaken x3 youws. 
>w< KING. 'Tis ;;w;; nyobwy >_> spoken. 
^.^ Take nyotice, wowds, ^.^ he >_> has :3 a loyal UwU bweast, 
For xDD you uWu have :3 seen ^.^ him open :3 't. xDD Wead ^-^ o'ew >_< this; 
>_> [Giving ^.^ him >_< papews] 
xDD And after, >_< this; ÚwÚ and xDD then to OwO bweakfast with 
>_> What xDD appetite xDD you :3 have. 
uWu Exit x3 the ;;w;; KING, >_> fwownying ;;w;; upon x3 the uWu CAWDINyAW; x3 the ^-^ NyOBWES 
:33 thwong ÚwÚ aftew :3 him, x3 smiwing ÚwÚ and x3 whispewing 
^.^ WOWSEY. >_> What >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this ^.^ mean? 
>_> What ^.^ sudden :3 angew's :3 this? How uWu have UwU I >_< weap'd :33 it? 
>w< He pawted >_> fwownying from uWu me, >_< as >_> if xDD wuin 
>w< Weap'd from :33 his eyes; UwU so :33 wooks x3 the chafed wion 
>_> Upon x3 the daring >w< huntsman :3 that >_> has gall'd uWu him- 
UwU Then x3 makes ^.^ him OwO nyothing. UwU I ^w^ must ^w^ wead ÚwÚ this OwO papew; 
UwU I ;;w;; feaw, x3 the ^-^ stowy of :33 his OwO angew. 'Tis so; 
This paper >_> has ÚwÚ undonye x3 me. 'Tis x3 th' :33 account 
Of aww :3 that wowwd of weawth UwU I uWu have drawn togethew 
For >_< minye UwU own ;;w;; ends; ÚwÚ indeed to ^.^ gain x3 the ;;w;; popedom, 
xDD And ^.^ fee x3 my ^w^ fwiends uWu in xDD Wome. x3 O >_> nyegwigence, 
Fit fow :3 a >w< foow to faww :33 by! >_> What OwO cwoss ^.^ deviw 
Made ;;w;; me put ÚwÚ this :33 main secret uWu in x3 the packet 
UwU I sent x3 the >_> King? Is there nyo uWu way to >w< cuwe :3 this? 
No x3 nyew xDD device to xDD beat ÚwÚ this from :33 his brains? 
UwU I ^.^ knyow 'twill stir ^.^ him stwongwy; yet UwU I ^.^ knyow 
^-^ A :3 way, >_> if >w< it OwO take wight, uWu in x3 spite of fowtunye, 
Will ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me x3 off ;;w;; again. x3 What's :3 this? uWu 'To x3 th' Pope.' 
uWu The letter, >_< as UwU I x3 wive, with aww x3 the business 
UwU I ^-^ wwit to's Howinyess. Nyay >w< then, farewell! 
UwU I uWu have touch'd x3 the ÚwÚ highest :33 point of aww x3 my greatness, 
xDD And from :3 that full xDD mewidian of x3 my :3 gwowy 
UwU I ^.^ haste nyow to x3 my x3 setting. UwU I UwU shaww faww 
Wike :3 a uWu bwight >_> exhawation uWu in x3 the xDD evenying, 
xDD And nyo x3 man >_> see ;;w;; me more. 

^.^ We-entew to ÚwÚ WOWSEY x3 the DUKES ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK ÚwÚ and 
x3 SUFFOWK, x3 the EARL ÚwÚ OF uWu SUWWEY, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< WOWD 
^-^ CHAMBEWWAIN 

NyOWFOWK. >w< Heaw x3 the >_< King's x3 pweasuwe, Cardinal, who ;;w;; commands xDD you 
;;w;; To render x3 up x3 the great UwU seaw presently 
^.^ Into UwU ouw ^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and to UwU confinye >_> youwsewf 
;;w;; To >_< Ashew ;;w;; House, x3 my Lord of Winchestew's, 
Tiww xDD you hear further from :33 his ;;w;; Highnyess. 
^.^ WOWSEY. x3 Stay: 
:3 Whewe's x3 youw xDD commission, lords? Words ;;w;; cannyot carry 
Authowity UwU so weighty. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Who x3 dawes OwO cwoss 'em, 
ÚwÚ Beawing x3 the >_< King's xDD wiww from :33 his xDD mouth xDD expwesswy? 
^.^ WOWSEY. Tiww UwU I find ^.^ mowe than xDD wiww ow wowds to UwU do OwO it- 
UwU I >_> mean x3 youw OwO mawice-knyow, uWu officious wowds, 
UwU I dawe ÚwÚ and ^w^ must UwU deny :3 it. Now UwU I x3 feew 
Of >_> what OwO coawse >_< metaw OwO ye OwO awe moulded-envy; 
How >_> eagewwy OwO ye ;;w;; fowwow x3 my disgwaces, 
;;w;; As >_> if >w< it ÚwÚ fed ye; ÚwÚ and >w< how sleek ÚwÚ and >_< wanton 
^-^ Ye appeaw uWu in every ^.^ thing OwO may ;;w;; bwing x3 my :33 wuin! 
Follow x3 youw envious couwses, ;;w;; men of malice; 
>_> You uWu have Christian :33 wawwant fow 'em, ÚwÚ and nyo doubt 
^w^ In time xDD wiww find uWu theiw ;;w;; fit :33 wewawds. :33 That UwU seaw 
>_> You ^w^ ask with xDD such :3 a UwU viowence, x3 the xDD King- 
Mine ÚwÚ and x3 youw master-with :33 his UwU own uWu hand uWu gave OwO me; 
^-^ Bade ;;w;; me ^.^ enjoy :33 it, with x3 the :33 pwace ÚwÚ and honours, 
^w^ Duwing x3 my :33 wife; x3 and, to :33 confiwm :33 his ^-^ goodnyess, 
>w< Tied >w< it ^.^ by x3 wettews-patents. >_> Nyow, >w< who'ww OwO take :33 it? 
SUWWEY. uWu The OwO King, :3 that uWu gave :3 it. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^.^ It ^w^ must be >_< himsewf UwU then. 
SUWWEY. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a OwO pwoud traitor, pwiest. 
^.^ WOWSEY. Pwoud uWu wowd, xDD thou liest. 
OwO Within these >w< fowty >_> houws Surrey x3 duwst xDD bettew 
:3 Have burnt :3 that >_> tongue than uWu said :3 so. 
SUWWEY. x3 Thy ambition, 
^.^ Thou x3 scawwet ^w^ sin, wobb'd ÚwÚ this >w< bewaiwing ÚwÚ wand 
Of x3 nyobwe ;;w;; Buckingham, x3 my uWu fathew-in-waw. 
uWu The heads of aww >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew >_< cawdinyaws, 
With uWu thee ÚwÚ and aww >w< thy best parts bound together, 
Weigh'd nyot :3 a >_< haiw of ÚwÚ his. Pwague of x3 youw uWu powicy! 
>_> You sent ;;w;; me OwO deputy fow >_> Iwewand; 
>_< Faw from :33 his ^-^ succouw, from x3 the OwO King, from aww 
:33 That ^w^ might uWu have xDD mewcy on x3 the ;;w;; fauwt xDD thou >w< gav'st him; 
Whilst x3 youw great ^-^ goodnyess, x3 out of >w< howy pity, 
^.^ Absowv'd ^.^ him with >w< an :33 axe. 
^.^ WOWSEY. >w< This, ÚwÚ and aww >_> ewse 
This :33 tawking ;;w;; wowd ^.^ can uWu way ;;w;; upon x3 my ^.^ cwedit, 
UwU I answew >_> is UwU most >w< fawse. uWu The >w< Duke ^.^ by law 
x3 Found :33 his xDD desewts; >w< how innocent UwU I UwU was 
Fwom xDD any >_> pwivate malice uWu in :33 his ^w^ end, 
ÚwÚ His x3 nyobwe jury ÚwÚ and fouw cause ^.^ can witness. 
;;w;; If UwU I :3 wov'd UwU many wowds, uWu wowd, UwU I >_> shouwd tell xDD you 
>_> You uWu have >_< as xDD wittwe honesty >_< as honyouw, 
:33 That uWu in x3 the uWu way of xDD woyawty ÚwÚ and uWu twuth 
uWu Towawd x3 the OwO King, x3 my OwO evew royal ^.^ mastew, 
Dare ^-^ mate :3 a sounder x3 man than Surrey ^.^ can be 
xDD And >w< an :3 that wuv :33 his OwO fowwies. 
SUWWEY. ^-^ By x3 my x3 souw, 
uWu Youw ^-^ wong uWu coat, ;;w;; pwiest, xDD pwotects uWu you; xDD thou shouwdst x3 feew 
OwO My xDD swowd :33 i' x3 the life-blood of uWu thee ewse. OwO My wowds 
UwU Can OwO ye OwO enduwe to hear ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ awwogance? 
xDD And from ÚwÚ this fewwow? ;;w;; If ^.^ we ^w^ wive OwO thus uWu tamewy, 
;;w;; To be OwO thus jaded ^.^ by :3 a ^.^ piece of >_> scawwet, 
UwU Faweweww :33 nyobiwity! Let :33 his Gwace OwO go forward 
xDD And dawe >_> us with :33 his cap ^.^ wike wawks. 
^.^ WOWSEY. All xDD goodnyess 
Is x3 poison to >w< thy :33 stomach. 
SUWWEY. Yes, :3 that xDD goodnyess 
Of gleaning aww x3 the ^w^ wand's weawth x3 into one, 
^.^ Into x3 youw UwU own ^.^ hands, Cardinal, ^.^ by extowtion; 
uWu The xDD goodnyess of x3 youw ^-^ intewcepted >w< packets 
>_> You ^-^ wwit to x3 th' ^.^ Pope OwO against x3 the uWu King; x3 youw ^-^ goodnyess, 
Since xDD you ;;w;; pwovoke uWu me, UwU shaww be UwU most >w< nyotowious. 
OwO My Lord of ^-^ Nyowfowk, >_< as xDD you OwO awe :33 twuwy noble, 
;;w;; As xDD you wespect x3 the ^w^ common UwU good, x3 the >w< state 
Of UwU ouw :33 despis'd nobility, UwU ouw x3 issues, 
UwU Whom, >_> if ^.^ he x3 wive, xDD wiww scawce be UwU gentwemen- 
UwU Pwoduce x3 the grand >w< sum of :33 his OwO sins, x3 the articles 
Cowwected from :33 his life. I'll ;;w;; stawtwe xDD you 
Wowse than x3 the ^w^ sacwing OwO beww, when x3 the >_> bwown OwO wench 
Way xDD kissing uWu in x3 youw awms, Lord Cawdinyaw. 
^.^ WOWSEY. How ÚwÚ much, UwU methinks, UwU I couwd >_> despise ÚwÚ this ^w^ man, 
OwO But :3 that UwU I ^w^ am bound uWu in xDD chawity OwO against :3 it! 
NyOWFOWK. >w< Those awticwes, x3 my uWu wowd, OwO awe uWu in x3 the >_< King's xDD hand; 
But, OwO thus ÚwÚ much, ;;w;; they OwO awe fouw ÚwÚ onyes. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^w^ So much fairer 
xDD And :3 spotwess UwU shaww >_< minye innyocence ^.^ awise, 
x3 When x3 the ^w^ King xDD knyows x3 my truth. 
SUWWEY. This ;;w;; cannyot :3 save OwO you. 
UwU I >_> thank x3 my ^w^ memowy UwU I yet remember 
;;w;; Some of these awticwes; ÚwÚ and x3 out ;;w;; they >_< shaww. 
>_> Nyow, >_> if xDD you ^.^ can bwush ÚwÚ and cwy x3 guiwty, Cardinal, 
You'll x3 show :3 a xDD wittwe x3 honyesty. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^w^ Speak ;;w;; on, siw; 
UwU I dawe x3 youw worst objections. ;;w;; If UwU I blush, 
^.^ It >_> is to >_> see :3 a nyobweman ^.^ want mannyews. 
SUWWEY. UwU I xDD had rather ^.^ want UwU those than x3 my >_> head. :3 Have uWu at you! 
^.^ Fiwst, :3 that ^-^ without x3 the >_< King's >_< assent ow >_< knyowwedge 
>_> You ;;w;; wwought to be :3 a legate; ^.^ by which powew 
>_> You ;;w;; maim'd x3 the >_> juwisdiction of aww >_< bishops. 
NyOWFOWK. Then, :3 that uWu in aww xDD you ^-^ wwit to ^w^ Wome, ow >_> ewse 
;;w;; To :33 foweign >_< pwinces, ;;w;; 'Ego ^w^ et xDD Wex UwU meus' 
Was still >_< inscwib'd; uWu in which xDD you ^.^ bwought x3 the ^w^ King 
;;w;; To be x3 youw servant. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Then, :3 that ^-^ without x3 the >_< knyowwedge 
^-^ Eithew of ^w^ King ow ^w^ Counciw, when xDD you OwO went 
Ambassadow to x3 the Empewow, xDD you UwU made bold 
;;w;; To carry x3 into Fwandews x3 the great ^.^ seaw. 
SUWWEY. >_> Item, xDD you sent :3 a large OwO commission 
;;w;; To Gregory UwU de Cassado, to ^w^ concwude, 
Without x3 the >_< King's xDD wiww ow x3 the >_< state's >_< awwowance, 
^-^ A :33 weague ^-^ between :33 his >_> Highnyess ÚwÚ and :33 Fewwawa. 
x3 SUFFOWK. :33 That x3 out of mere ^-^ ambition xDD you uWu have OwO caus'd 
uWu Youw >w< howy ^w^ hat to be stamp'd on x3 the >_< King's coin. 
SUWWEY. Then, :3 that xDD you uWu have sent innumerable ÚwÚ substance, 
^-^ By >_> what means ^w^ got UwU I OwO weave to x3 youw UwU own OwO conscience, 
;;w;; To furnish ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and to >_> pwepawe x3 the ways 
>_> You uWu have fow uWu dignyities, to x3 the mere ^.^ undoing 
Of aww x3 the >_> kingdom. xDD Many ^.^ mowe there awe, 
>_< Which, xDD since ;;w;; they OwO awe of UwU you, ÚwÚ and odious, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^w^ taint x3 my xDD mouth with. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. x3 O x3 my uWu wowd, 
Pwess nyot :3 a falling x3 man ^w^ too ÚwÚ faw! 'Tis ÚwÚ viwtue. 
ÚwÚ His :33 fauwts >_< wie open to x3 the x3 waws; wet ÚwÚ them, 
ÚwÚ Nyot UwU you, ^w^ cowwect ^.^ him. OwO My >_< heawt ^.^ weeps to >_> see ^.^ him 
^w^ So xDD wittwe of :33 his great sewf. 
SUWWEY. UwU I :33 fowgive ^.^ him. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Lord Cardinal, x3 the >_< King's further :3 pweasuwe is- 
>_< Because aww UwU those ^.^ things xDD you uWu have donye of late, 
^-^ By x3 youw powew :33 wegatinye within ÚwÚ this :33 kingdom, 
Fall x3 into x3 th' compass of :3 a pwaemunyiwe- 
:33 That >_< thewefowe xDD such :3 a ^-^ wwit be >_< sued OwO against xDD you: 
;;w;; To forfeit aww x3 youw UwU goods, lands, tenyements, 
^w^ Chattews, ÚwÚ and ^.^ whatsoevew, ÚwÚ and to be 
UwU Out of x3 the >_< King's ÚwÚ pwotection. This >_> is x3 my chawge. 
NyOWFOWK. xDD And UwU so we'll OwO weave xDD you to x3 youw meditations 
How to ^w^ wive ^-^ bettew. For x3 youw ^-^ stubbown answew 
About x3 the ^.^ giving back x3 the great UwU seaw to us, 
uWu The ^w^ King UwU shaww ^.^ knyow :33 it, x3 and, nyo doubt, UwU shaww >_> thank OwO you. 
^w^ So ^-^ fawe xDD you weww, x3 my xDD wittwe ÚwÚ good Lord Cawdinyaw. 
Exeunt aww >_> but ÚwÚ WOWSEY 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^w^ So >_< faweweww to x3 the xDD wittwe ÚwÚ good xDD you UwU beaw x3 me. 
UwU Faweweww, :3 a ^-^ wong farewell, to aww x3 my greatness! 
This >_> is x3 the >w< state of ^w^ man: ^w^ to-day ^.^ he puts fowth 
uWu The xDD tendew >w< weaves of uWu hopes; to-mowwow xDD bwossoms 
xDD And bears :33 his ;;w;; bwushing honyouws thick ;;w;; upon him; 
uWu The thiwd day x3 comes :3 a :3 fwost, :3 a UwU kiwwing :3 fwost, 
xDD And when ^.^ he thinks, ÚwÚ good ^w^ easy ^w^ man, full x3 suwewy 
ÚwÚ His :33 gweatnyess >_> is >w< a-wipenying, x3 nyips :33 his x3 woot, 
xDD And xDD then ^.^ he >_< fawws, >_< as UwU I xDD do. UwU I uWu have OwO ventuw'd, 
Wike xDD wittwe >_< wanton >_< boys :3 that x3 swim on bwaddews, 
This UwU many summers uWu in :3 a sea of ^.^ gwowy; 
OwO But uWu faw ^w^ beyond x3 my ^-^ depth. OwO My :3 high-bwown >_< pwide 
At :33 wength broke :33 undew uWu me, ÚwÚ and nyow >_> has left uWu me, 
:33 Weawy ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd with sewvice, to x3 the xDD mewcy 
Of :3 a wude stweam, :3 that ^w^ must fow OwO evew hide x3 me. 
UwU Vain pomp ÚwÚ and :3 gwowy of ÚwÚ this ^w^ wowwd, UwU I ^-^ hate ye; 
UwU I x3 feew x3 my >_< heawt x3 nyew open'd. >_< O, >w< how wwetched 
Is :3 that poor x3 man :3 that uWu hangs on princes' favours! 
>_> Thewe >_> is betwixt :3 that ;;w;; smiwe ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; aspiwe ^.^ to, 
:33 That x3 sweet uWu aspect of >_< pwinces, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw xDD wuin 
uWu Mowe x3 pangs ÚwÚ and OwO feaws than UwU waws ow x3 women uWu have; 
xDD And when ^.^ he >_< fawws, ^.^ he ^w^ fawws ^.^ wike ÚwÚ Wucifew, 
xDD Nyevew to UwU hope ;;w;; again. 

Entew UwU CWOMWEWW, >_< standing x3 amazed 

Why, >w< how now, >_> Cwomweww! 
CWOMWEWW. UwU I uWu have nyo powew to :3 speak, sir. 
^.^ WOWSEY. What, ^w^ amaz'd 
At x3 my :33 misfowtunyes? UwU Can >w< thy ^w^ spiwit wonder 
^-^ A great x3 man >_> shouwd decwinye? Nyay, >w< an xDD you >_> weep, 
UwU I ^w^ am fall'n indeed. 
CWOMWEWW. How does x3 youw Gwace? 
^.^ WOWSEY. Why, well; 
xDD Nyevew UwU so :33 twuwy UwU happy, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu Cwomweww. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow mysewf now, ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 feew within ;;w;; me 
^-^ A uWu peace :33 abuv aww ÚwÚ eawthwy uWu dignyities, 
^-^ A still ÚwÚ and :33 quiet ^w^ conscience. uWu The ^w^ King >_> has ^w^ cuw'd uWu me, 
UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank :33 his Grace; ÚwÚ and from these shoulders, 
;;w;; These ;;w;; wuin'd :33 piwwaws, x3 out of pity, :33 taken 
^-^ A woad ^.^ wouwd sink :3 a ÚwÚ nyavy-too much honyouw. 
>_< O, UwU 'tis :3 a buwden, uWu Cwomweww, UwU 'tis :3 a buwden 
Too x3 heavy fow :3 a x3 man :3 that hopes fow :3 heaven! 
CWOMWEWW. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad x3 youw Gwace >_> has UwU made :3 that >w< wight use of :3 it. 
^.^ WOWSEY. UwU I UwU hope UwU I :3 have. UwU I ^w^ am able now, UwU methinks, 
UwU Out of :3 a xDD fowtitude of :3 souw UwU I feew, 
;;w;; To OwO enduwe ^.^ mowe misewies ÚwÚ and :33 gweatew uWu faw 
Than x3 my weak-hearted >_< enyemies dawe UwU offew. 
>_> What nyews abroad? 
CWOMWEWW. uWu The ;;w;; heaviest ÚwÚ and x3 the worst 
Is x3 youw >_< dispweasuwe with x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 him! 
CWOMWEWW. uWu The :3 nyext >_> is :3 that Sir Thomas uWu Mowe >_> is OwO chosen 
Lord Chancellor uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; pwace. 
^.^ WOWSEY. >w< That's >_< somewhat >w< sudden. 
OwO But uWu he's :3 a :33 weawnyed man. ^-^ May ^.^ he >w< continyue 
OwO Wong uWu in :33 his Highness' favour, ÚwÚ and UwU do justice 
For ^-^ twuth's ÚwÚ sake ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ conscience; :3 that :33 his bones 
x3 When ^.^ he >_> has >w< wun :33 his course ÚwÚ and sweeps uWu in uWu bwessings, 
^-^ May uWu have :3 a tomb of orphans' tears :33 wept on x3 him! 
>_> What UwU mowe? 
CWOMWEWW. :33 That >_< Cwanmew >_> is wetuwn'd with ;;w;; wewcome, 
Instaww'd Lord UwU Awchbishop of ;;w;; Cantewbuwy. 
^.^ WOWSEY. >w< That's nyews indeed. 
CWOMWEWW. ÚwÚ Wast, :3 that x3 the xDD Wady ÚwÚ Annye, 
;;w;; Whom x3 the ^w^ King hath uWu in secrecy ^-^ wong >w< mawwied, 
This day UwU was >_< view'd uWu in open >_< as :33 his queen, 
ÚwÚ Going to chapel; ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu voice >_> is nyow 
Onwy about her x3 cowonyation. 
^.^ WOWSEY. >_> Thewe UwU was x3 the >_> weight :3 that pull'd ;;w;; me down. 
x3 O uWu Cwomweww, 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> has >_> gonye ^w^ beyond x3 me. All x3 my :33 gwowies 
^w^ In :3 that one OwO woman UwU I uWu have wost fow ever. 
No sun UwU shaww OwO evew ushew fowth >_< minye honours, 
:33 Ow gild again x3 the x3 nyobwe troops :3 that :33 waited 
>_> Upon x3 my >_> smiwes. Go get uWu thee from uWu me, Cwomweww; 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a poor fall'n ^w^ man, >_< unwowthy nyow 
;;w;; To be >w< thy ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and master. ;;w;; Seek x3 the uWu King; 
:33 That sun, UwU I pray, OwO may >_< nyevew uWu set! UwU I uWu have told ^.^ him 
>_> What ÚwÚ and >w< how true xDD thou art. >w< He xDD wiww advance ÚwÚ thee; 
;;w;; Some xDD wittwe ^w^ memowy of ;;w;; me xDD wiww stir uWu him- 
UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his x3 nyobwe nature-not to wet 
x3 Thy hopeful OwO sewvice xDD pewish UwU too. ^-^ Good uWu Cwomweww, 
Neglect ^.^ him x3 nyot; >_< make use now, ÚwÚ and provide 
For ^.^ thinye UwU own ÚwÚ futuwe >w< safety. 
CWOMWEWW. x3 O x3 my uWu wowd, 
:3 Must UwU I xDD then OwO weave you? :3 Must UwU I >_< nyeeds :3 fowgo 
^w^ So UwU good, UwU so noble, ÚwÚ and UwU so true :3 a ÚwÚ mastew? 
ÚwÚ Beaw ^.^ witnyess, aww :3 that uWu have nyot heawts of uWu iwon, 
With >_> what :3 a sorrow Cromwell >w< weaves :33 his OwO wowd. 
uWu The ^w^ King UwU shaww uWu have x3 my ^w^ sewvice; >_> but x3 my >_< pwayews 
For OwO evew ÚwÚ and fow OwO evew UwU shaww be x3 youws. 
^.^ WOWSEY. uWu Cwomweww, UwU I uWu did nyot think to x3 shed :3 a teaw 
^w^ In aww x3 my miseries; >_> but xDD thou x3 hast ;;w;; fowc'd uWu me, 
UwU Out of >w< thy xDD honyest truth, to :33 pway x3 the uWu woman. 
:3 Wet's xDD dwy UwU ouw eyes; ÚwÚ and OwO thus uWu faw hear uWu me, uWu Cwomweww, 
xDD And when UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; fowgotten, >_< as UwU I UwU shaww be, 
xDD And :33 sweep uWu in dull UwU cowd ;;w;; mawbwe, :3 whewe nyo >w< mention 
Of ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe ^w^ must be heard :33 of, >_> say UwU I ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; thee- 
x3 Say x3 Wowsey, :3 that >_> once twod x3 the ways of xDD gwowy, 
xDD And ÚwÚ sounded aww x3 the >w< depths ÚwÚ and UwU shoaws of honyouw, 
x3 Found uWu thee :3 a :3 way, x3 out of :33 his ^.^ wweck, to rise in- 
^-^ A >_< suwe ÚwÚ and >_< safe one, ^w^ though >w< thy >_< mastew ;;w;; miss'd :3 it. 
>_> Mawk >_> but x3 my faww ÚwÚ and :3 that :3 that ;;w;; wuin'd x3 me. 
uWu Cwomweww, UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, fwing OwO away uWu ambition: 
^-^ By :3 that x3 sin UwU feww x3 the angels. How ^.^ can x3 man >w< then, 
uWu The x3 image of :33 his uWu Makew, UwU hope to x3 win ^.^ by :33 it? 
Wuv >w< thysewf last; :3 chewish UwU those heawts :3 that ^-^ hate ÚwÚ thee; 
>_< Cowwuption ^w^ wins nyot ^.^ mowe than x3 honyesty. 
UwU Stiww uWu in >w< thy >w< wight uWu hand carry ^-^ gentwe uWu peace 
;;w;; To :3 siwence envious tongues. ^w^ Be >_< just, ÚwÚ and feaw x3 nyot; 
Let aww x3 the uWu ends xDD thou UwU aim'st uWu at be >w< thy uWu countwy's, 
x3 Thy xDD God's, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twuth's; >w< then, >_> if xDD thou >_< faww'st, x3 O uWu Cwomweww, 
^.^ Thou faww'st :3 a blessed ^.^ mawtyw! 
>w< Sewve x3 the OwO King, and-prithee lead ;;w;; me ^.^ in. 
>_> Thewe OwO take >w< an >_< inventowy of aww UwU I uWu have 
;;w;; To x3 the >w< wast >_< penny; UwU 'tis x3 the ^.^ King's. OwO My ^.^ wobe, 
xDD And x3 my >_< integwity to ^.^ heaven, >_> is aww 
UwU I dawe nyow caww >_< minye own. x3 O uWu Cwomweww, >_> Cwomweww! 
xDD Had UwU I >_> but sewv'd x3 my ^w^ God with half x3 the ^.^ zeaw 
UwU I sewv'd x3 my OwO King, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu in >_< minye age 
:3 Have left ;;w;; me nyaked to >_< minye enemies. 
CWOMWEWW. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, uWu have OwO patience. 
^.^ WOWSEY. ^w^ So UwU I :3 have. UwU Faweweww 
uWu The hopes of court! OwO My hopes uWu in heaven UwU do OwO dweww. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

^-^ A :3 stweet uWu in ^-^ Westminstew 

Entew >w< two UwU GENTWEMEN, meeting one anyothew 

uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Y'awe weww >w< met >_> once ;;w;; again. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^w^ So OwO awe OwO you. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. >_> You come to OwO take x3 youw stand UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and 
behowd 
uWu The xDD Wady >_> Annye pass from her ÚwÚ cowonyation? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. 'Tis aww x3 my business. At UwU ouw >w< wast x3 encountew 
uWu The >w< Duke of ^-^ Buckingham ^-^ came from :33 his trial. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. 'Tis xDD vewy true. OwO But :3 that time >_< offew'd 
sorrow; 
>w< This, general ^-^ joy. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. 'Tis well. uWu The uWu citizens, 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, uWu have OwO shown uWu at full uWu theiw royal xDD minds- 
As, wet x3 'em uWu have uWu theiw :3 wights, ;;w;; they OwO awe OwO evew fowwawd- 
^w^ In cewebwation of ÚwÚ this day with uWu shows, 
:3 Pageants, ÚwÚ and uWu sights of honyouw. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. xDD Nyevew ;;w;; gweatew, 
Nor, I'll :33 assuwe UwU you, xDD bettew >_< taken, sir. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ May UwU I be bold to ^w^ ask >_> what :3 that ^w^ contains, 
:33 That paper uWu in x3 youw hand? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Yes; UwU 'tis x3 the ÚwÚ wist 
Of UwU those :3 that >_< cwaim uWu theiw ;;w;; offices ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, 
^-^ By ;;w;; custom of x3 the x3 cowonyation. 
uWu The >w< Duke of :33 Suffowk >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ fiwst, ÚwÚ and claims 
;;w;; To be xDD High Steward; next, x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, 
>w< He to be ^-^ Eaww Marshal. >_> You OwO may ^w^ wead x3 the rest. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, siw; xDD had UwU I nyot ÚwÚ knyown 
UwU those :33 customs, 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been beholding to x3 youw ^.^ papew. 
But, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, UwU what's :33 become of ;;w;; Kathawinye, 
uWu The Pwincess >w< Dowagew? How xDD goes her ;;w;; businyess? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. :33 That UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you UwU too. uWu The UwU Awchbishop 
Of Canterbury, accompanyied with othew 
Learned ÚwÚ and reverend uWu fathews of :33 his order, 
Hewd :3 a wate court uWu at Dunstable, six >_< miwes of 
Fwom OwO Ampthiww, :3 whewe x3 the Pwincess way; to which 
:33 She UwU was often cited ^.^ by ÚwÚ them, >_> but appear'd not. 
^.^ And, to be ^.^ showt, fow nyot xDD appeawance ÚwÚ and 
uWu The >_< King's wate :3 scwupwe, ^.^ by x3 the :33 main >_< assent 
Of aww these :33 weawnyed men, ^.^ she UwU was divorc'd, 
xDD And x3 the wate ^.^ mawwiage UwU made of >_< nyonye :33 effect; 
Since which ^.^ she UwU was removed to Kimbolton, 
Whewe ^.^ she remains nyow ;;w;; sick. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ÚwÚ Awas, ÚwÚ good :33 wady! [Twumpets] 
uWu The trumpets UwU sound. ;;w;; Stand cwose, x3 the xDD Queen >_> is :3 coming. 
>_< [Hautboys] 

^-^ THE ORDER ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COWONyATION. 

:3 1. ^-^ A lively :33 fwouwish of x3 twumpets. 
uWu 2. UwU Then >w< two >_< JUDGES. 
>w< 3. >w< WOWD ;;w;; CHANCEWWOW, with >_< puwse ÚwÚ and UwU mace >w< befowe ^.^ him. 
;;w;; 4. CHOWISTEWS >w< singing. ^w^ [Music] 
5. >_< MAYOW ÚwÚ OF x3 WONDON, :33 beawing x3 the mace. UwU Then >_> GAWTEW, uWu in 
:33 his >_> coat of awms, ÚwÚ and on :33 his >_> head ^.^ he ÚwÚ wowe :3 a gilt >w< coppew 
crown. 
:33 6. MARQUIS DOWSET, :33 beawing :3 a sceptre of ^.^ gowd, on :33 his >_> head :3 a 
>_> demi-cowonyaw of ;;w;; gowd. With :3 him, x3 the EARL ÚwÚ OF uWu SUWWEY, 
:33 beawing x3 the wod of :33 siwvew with x3 the uWu duv, ^.^ cwownyed with >w< an 
:33 eaww's >_> cowonyet. Collars of >w< Esses. 
>w< 7. ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF x3 SUFFOWK, uWu in :33 his wobe of x3 estate, :33 his >_< cowonyet on 
:33 his head, :33 beawing :3 a ^-^ wong ^-^ white wand, >_< as xDD High ÚwÚ Stewawd. 
With :3 him, x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK, with x3 the wod of 
mawshawship, :3 a >_< cowonyet on :33 his >_> head. Collars of >w< Esses. 
8. ^-^ A >w< canyopy :3 bownye ^.^ by fouw of x3 the ;;w;; CINQUE-POWTS; :33 undew >w< it 
x3 the >w< QUEEN uWu in her >w< wobe; uWu in her >_< haiw :33 wichwy adownyed with 
>_> peaww, ^w^ cwownyed. On >_< each x3 side hew, x3 the :3 BISHOPS ÚwÚ OF >_> WONDON 
ÚwÚ and WINCHESTEW. 
;;w;; 9. uWu The ;;w;; owd DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK, uWu in :3 a >_< cowonyaw of gowd 
;;w;; wwought with flowers, :33 beawing x3 the QUEEN'S >_< twain. 
10. xDD Cewtain :3 WADIES ow ;;w;; COUNTESSES, with uWu pwain ciwcwets of gowd 
^-^ without fwowews. 

^.^ Exeunt, xDD fiwst passing uvw x3 the stage uWu in order ÚwÚ and state, 
ÚwÚ and xDD then :3 a great :33 fwouwish of trumpets 

^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ A royal twain, ^-^ bewieve x3 me. ;;w;; These :33 knyow. 
Who's :3 that :3 that bears x3 the sceptre? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ^w^ Mawquis xDD Dowset; 
xDD And :3 that x3 the ^-^ Eaww of uWu Suwwey, with x3 the wod. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ A bold >_< bwave :3 gentweman. :33 That >_> shouwd be 
uWu The >w< Duke of ^w^ Suffowk? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. 'Tis x3 the >w< same-High ÚwÚ Stewawd. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. xDD And :3 that x3 my Lord of >w< Nyowfowk? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. x3 Yes. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ;;w;; [Wooking on x3 the xDD QUEEN] uWu Heaven 
;;w;; bwess uWu thee! 
^.^ Thou x3 hast x3 the ^w^ sweetest OwO face UwU I OwO evew >_> wook'd :3 on. 
UwU Siw, >_< as UwU I uWu have :3 a x3 souw, ^.^ she >_> is >w< an >_> angew; 
Our x3 king >_> has aww x3 the Indies uWu in :33 his awms, 
xDD And ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and x3 wichew, when ^.^ he stwains :3 that ;;w;; wady; 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu bwame :33 his ^w^ conscience. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ They :3 that UwU beaw 
uWu The cwoth of honour uvw her OwO awe fouw :3 bawons 
Of x3 the Cinque-powts. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. >w< Those ;;w;; men OwO awe happy; ÚwÚ and UwU so OwO awe aww 
OwO awe nyeaw her. 
UwU I OwO take >w< it ^.^ she :3 that xDD cawwies x3 up x3 the twain 
Is :3 that ;;w;; owd x3 nyobwe UwU wady, :3 Duchess of x3 Nyowfowk. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ^.^ It is; ÚwÚ and aww x3 the xDD west OwO awe countesses. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ Theiw UwU cowonyets >_> say :3 so. ;;w;; These OwO awe stars :33 indeed, 
xDD And x3 sometimes falling ÚwÚ onyes. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. No ^.^ mowe of x3 that. 
uWu Exit >_> Pwocession, with :3 a great :33 fwouwish of trumpets 

Entew :3 a thiwd ^-^ GENTWEMAN 

^w^ God :3 save UwU you, sir! Whewe uWu have xDD you :33 been bwoiwing? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. >_> Among x3 the cwowds :33 i' x3 th' Abbey, :3 whewe :3 a finger 
Could nyot be >_< wedg'd uWu in mowe; UwU I ^w^ am stifled 
With x3 the mere >_< wanknyess of uWu theiw ^-^ joy. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. >_> You saw 
uWu The ceremony? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. :33 That UwU I ^.^ did. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. How UwU was :33 it? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. Weww ^.^ wowth x3 the seeing. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, speak >w< it to >_> us. 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. ;;w;; As weww >_< as UwU I ^w^ am able. uWu The rich stweam 
Of wowds ÚwÚ and x3 wadies, xDD having ^.^ bwought x3 the xDD Queen 
;;w;; To :3 a pwepaw'd :33 pwace uWu in x3 the UwU choiw, UwU feww of 
^-^ A ^w^ distance from hew, OwO whiwe her Gwace sat down 
;;w;; To xDD west awhiwe, x3 some half >w< an >_> houw ow >_> so, 
^w^ In :3 a rich >w< chaiw of state, opposing freely 
uWu The beauty of her ÚwÚ pewson to x3 the ^-^ peopwe. 
:3 Bewieve uWu me, ^w^ siw, ^.^ she >_> is x3 the goodwiest OwO woman 
:33 That OwO evew uWu way ^.^ by xDD man; which when x3 the OwO peopwe 
xDD Had x3 the full x3 view :33 of, xDD such :3 a noise ^-^ awose 
;;w;; As x3 the shwouds >_< make uWu at sea uWu in :3 a OwO stiff ÚwÚ tempest, 
;;w;; As woud, ÚwÚ and to >_< as UwU many tunes; >_> hats, OwO cwoaks- 
Doublets, UwU I think-flew up, ÚwÚ and xDD had uWu theiw faces 
:33 Been UwU woose, ÚwÚ this day ;;w;; they xDD had :33 been :3 wost. >w< Such joy 
UwU I >_< nyevew saw befowe. Great-bellied UwU women, 
:33 That xDD had nyot half :3 a >_< week to x3 go, ^.^ wike wams 
^w^ In x3 the ;;w;; owd time of waw, ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; shake x3 the pwess, 
xDD And >_< make x3 'em x3 weew >w< befowe ^.^ 'em. No x3 man UwU wiving 
Could >_> say 'This >_> is x3 my :3 wife' thewe, aww :3 wewe wuvn 
^w^ So OwO stwangewy uWu in one piece. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO But >_> what fowwow'd? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. At :33 wength her Gwace rose, ÚwÚ and with 
:3 modest paces 
>_< Came to x3 the altar, :3 whewe ^.^ she kneel'd, ÚwÚ and saintlike 
;;w;; Cast her >w< faiw eyes to ^.^ heaven, ÚwÚ and pray'd devoutly. 
UwU Then wose OwO again, ÚwÚ and uWu bow'd her to x3 the xDD peopwe; 
x3 When ^.^ by x3 the UwU Awchbishop of >w< Cantewbuwy 
:33 She xDD had aww x3 the royal OwO makings of :3 a >w< queen: 
;;w;; As >w< howy ÚwÚ oiw, Edward ;;w;; Confessow's :3 cwown, 
uWu The ;;w;; wod, ÚwÚ and biwd of ÚwÚ peace, ÚwÚ and aww xDD such :3 embwems 
Waid ;;w;; nyobwy on >w< hew; which pewfowm'd, x3 the UwU choiw, 
With aww x3 the >_> choicest uWu music of x3 the :33 kingdom, 
OwO Togethew sung x3 'Te OwO Deum.' ^w^ So ^.^ she parted, 
xDD And with x3 the same full >w< state >w< pac'd back again 
;;w;; To York >w< Pwace, :3 whewe x3 the >_> feast >_> is x3 hewd. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU Siw, 
>_> You ^w^ must nyo ^.^ mowe caww >w< it York Place: ^w^ that's xDD past: 
For xDD since x3 the Cardinal UwU feww :3 that title's :3 wost. 
'Tis nyow x3 the :33 King's, ÚwÚ and ^w^ cawwed Whitehall. 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu it; 
OwO But UwU 'tis UwU so :3 watewy awtew'd :3 that x3 the ;;w;; owd xDD nyame 
Is >w< fwesh about x3 me. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. >_> What >w< two reverend bishops 
^.^ Wewe UwU those :3 that OwO went on >_< each x3 side of x3 the Queen? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. Stokeswy ÚwÚ and :3 Gawdinyew: x3 the one of ^w^ Winchestew, 
Nyewwy pwefeww'd from x3 the >_< King's secretary; 
uWu The ÚwÚ othew, OwO Wondon. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. >w< He of Winchestew 
Is hewd nyo great ÚwÚ good wuvw of x3 the >w< Awchbishop's, 
uWu The virtuous Cranmer. 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. All x3 the ÚwÚ wand xDD knyows :33 that; 
>w< Howevew, yet there >_> is nyo great breach. x3 When >w< it ;;w;; comes, 
>_< Cwanmew xDD wiww find :3 a :33 fwiend xDD wiww nyot >w< shwink from ^.^ him. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. Who OwO may :3 that be, UwU I pray you? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. Thomas uWu Cwomweww, 
^-^ A x3 man uWu in much >_> esteem with x3 th' OwO King, ÚwÚ and :33 twuwy 
^-^ A ÚwÚ wowthy :3 fwiend. uWu The ^w^ King >_> has UwU made ^.^ him >_< Mastew 
UwU O' x3 th' jewel ;;w;; House, 
xDD And one, already, of x3 the :3 Pwivy OwO Counciw. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. >w< He xDD wiww OwO desewve more. 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. Yes, ^-^ without aww ^-^ doubt. 
^.^ Come, xDD gentwemen, OwO ye UwU shaww OwO go x3 my :3 way, which 
Is to x3 th' xDD couwt, ÚwÚ and there OwO ye UwU shaww be x3 my ^.^ guests: 
xDD Something UwU I ^.^ can >_> command. ;;w;; As UwU I UwU wawk thithew, 
I'll tell OwO ye more. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. >_> You OwO may ÚwÚ command us, sir. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

ÚwÚ Kimbowton 

Entew >_> KATHAWINyE, :33 Dowagew, xDD sick; x3 wed ^-^ between GRIFFITH, her Gentweman >_> Ushew, 
ÚwÚ and :33 PATIENCE, her OwO woman 

>_> GWIFFITH. How does x3 youw Gwace? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. x3 O Griffith, >w< sick to ;;w;; death! 
OwO My UwU wegs ^.^ wike ^w^ woaden ^-^ bwanches bow to x3 th' earth, 
:3 Wiwwing to OwO weave uWu theiw buwden. ^.^ Weach :3 a :3 chaiw. 
So-now, UwU methinks, UwU I x3 feew :3 a xDD wittwe ^w^ ease. 
;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot tell uWu me, Griffith, >_< as xDD thou led'st uWu me, 
:33 That x3 the great chiwd of honyouw, Cardinal x3 Wowsey, 
Was dead? 
>_> GWIFFITH. Yes, x3 madam; >_> but UwU I think x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
UwU Out of x3 the :33 pain xDD you :33 suffew'd, uWu gave nyo ear to't. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. Prithee, ÚwÚ good Griffith, tell ;;w;; me >w< how ^.^ he ÚwÚ died. 
;;w;; If weww, ^.^ he stepp'd >w< befowe uWu me, happiwy, 
For x3 my example. 
>_> GWIFFITH. xDD Weww, x3 the uWu voice :33 goes, x3 madam; 
For ÚwÚ aftew x3 the :33 stout ^-^ Eaww ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand 
Arrested ^.^ him uWu at York ÚwÚ and ^.^ bwought ^.^ him forward, 
;;w;; As :3 a x3 man sowewy tainted, to :33 his ÚwÚ answew, 
>w< He UwU feww >w< sick suddenly, ÚwÚ and ^-^ gwew UwU so :33 iww 
>w< He couwd nyot sit :33 his >_< muwe. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ÚwÚ Awas, poor ;;w;; man! 
>_> GWIFFITH. At last, with ^w^ easy roads, ^.^ he ^-^ came to Leicester, 
>_> Wodg'd uWu in x3 the uWu abbey; :3 whewe x3 the reverend :3 abbot, 
With aww :33 his covent, x3 honyouwabwy weceiv'd him; 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he uWu gave these x3 wowds: ^w^ 'O >w< fathew UwU Abbot, 
^-^ An ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, xDD bwoken with x3 the storms of state, 
Is come to uWu way :33 his ÚwÚ weawy bones ^-^ among ye; 
Give ^.^ him :3 a xDD wittwe ^.^ eawth fow ;;w;; chawity!' 
^w^ So OwO went to bed; :3 whewe >_> eagewwy :33 his sicknyess 
;;w;; Puwsu'd ^.^ him still xDD And >w< thwee :33 nyights ÚwÚ aftew uWu this, 
About x3 the >_> houw of eight-which ^.^ he >_< himsewf 
Foretold >_> shouwd be :33 his last-full of repentance, 
Continyuaw UwU meditations, ^-^ teaws, ÚwÚ and sowwows, 
>w< He uWu gave :33 his honyouws to x3 the wowwd OwO again, 
ÚwÚ His blessed ÚwÚ pawt to ^.^ heaven, ÚwÚ and slept uWu in peace. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^w^ So OwO may ^.^ he rest; :33 his :33 fauwts >_< wie gently on x3 him! 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO thus far, Griffith, UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to speak :3 him, 
xDD And yet with charity. >w< He UwU was :3 a x3 man 
Of >w< an xDD unbounded ^w^ stomach, OwO evew wanking 
Himsewf with ^-^ pwinces; one :3 that, ^.^ by suggestion, 
>w< Tied aww x3 the >_> kingdom. ÚwÚ Simony UwU was >w< faiw play; 
ÚwÚ His UwU own opinyion UwU was :33 his law. xDD I' x3 th' x3 pwesence 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd >_> say ^.^ untwuths, ÚwÚ and be OwO evew :3 doubwe 
UwU Both uWu in :33 his wowds ÚwÚ and meanying. >w< He UwU was ;;w;; nyevew, 
OwO But :3 whewe ^.^ he meant to >w< wuin, ÚwÚ pitifuw. 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ pwomises uWu wewe, >_< as ^.^ he xDD then UwU was, >_< mighty; 
OwO But :33 his pewfowmance, >_< as ^.^ he >_> is now, OwO nyothing. 
Of :33 his UwU own >w< body ^.^ he UwU was UwU iww, ÚwÚ and uWu gave 
uWu The ;;w;; cwewgy :33 iww example. 
>_> GWIFFITH. Noble UwU madam, 
xDD Men's eviw ^w^ mannyews ^w^ wive uWu in ;;w;; bwass: uWu theiw uWu viwtues 
We >w< wwite uWu in >_> watew. ^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
;;w;; To hear ;;w;; me speak :33 his ÚwÚ good ^.^ nyow? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. Yes, ÚwÚ good Gwiffith; 
UwU I :3 wewe :3 mawicious ewse. 
>_> GWIFFITH. This Cardinal, 
;;w;; Though from >w< an humble xDD stock, undoubtedwy 
Was uWu fashion'd to much honour from :33 his cwadwe. 
>w< He UwU was :3 a ^-^ schowaw, ÚwÚ and :3 a ripe ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good onye; 
;;w;; Exceeding >_< wise, UwU faiw-spoken, ÚwÚ and persuading; 
Wofty ÚwÚ and :3 souw to them :3 that :3 wov'd ^.^ him >_> nyot, 
OwO But to UwU those ;;w;; men :3 that >_< sought ^.^ him x3 sweet >_< as summew. 
xDD And ^w^ though ^.^ he :3 wewe :3 unsatisfied uWu in >_< getting- 
>_< Which UwU was :3 a sin-yet uWu in x3 bestowing, UwU madam, 
>w< He UwU was UwU most princely: OwO evew >_> witnyess fow ^.^ him 
>w< Those ^.^ twins of :33 weawnying :3 that ^.^ he >_> wais'd uWu in UwU you, 
Ipswich ÚwÚ and Oxford! x3 Onye of which UwU feww with :3 him, 
>_< Unwiwwing to outwive x3 the ÚwÚ good :3 that uWu did uWu it; 
uWu The ÚwÚ othew, ^w^ though unfinyish'd, yet UwU so ^w^ famous, 
^w^ So :3 excewwent uWu in awt, ÚwÚ and still UwU so >_< wising, 
:33 That ;;w;; Chwistendom UwU shaww OwO evew speak :33 his ÚwÚ viwtue. 
ÚwÚ His overthrow ^w^ heap'd happinyess ;;w;; upon him; 
For >w< then, ÚwÚ and nyot >w< tiww >w< then, ^.^ he UwU fewt himsewf, 
xDD And >_> found x3 the ;;w;; bwessednyess of ^.^ being ^.^ wittwe. 
^.^ And, to >_< add :33 gweatew honyouws to :33 his age 
Than x3 man couwd UwU give :3 him, ^.^ he >w< died feawing >_< God. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. >w< Aftew x3 my :33 death UwU I ÚwÚ wish nyo othew >_< hewawd, 
No othew speakew of x3 my UwU wiving UwU actions, 
;;w;; To >_< keep >_< minye honour from >_> cowwuption, 
OwO But xDD such >w< an xDD honyest UwU chwonyicwew >_< as ^w^ Gwiffith. 
;;w;; Whom UwU I UwU most hated >w< wiving, xDD thou x3 hast UwU made uWu me, 
With >w< thy religious uWu twuth ÚwÚ and OwO modesty, 
Now uWu in :33 his >_> ashes honyouw. :3 Peace be with x3 him! 
patience, be nyeaw ;;w;; me still, ÚwÚ and uWu set ;;w;; me ^-^ wowew: 
UwU I uWu have nyot ^-^ wong to >_> twoubwe thee. ^-^ Good Griffith, 
^-^ Cause x3 the musicians :33 pway ;;w;; me :3 that >_> sad ^-^ nyote 
UwU I nyam'd x3 my ÚwÚ knyeww, whiwst UwU I sit meditating 
On :3 that ^w^ cewestiaw ;;w;; hawmony UwU I OwO go ;;w;; to. 
;;w;; [Sad ÚwÚ and solemn music] 
>_> GWIFFITH. :33 She >_> is asleep. ^-^ Good >_> wench, >_> wet's sit down ^w^ quiet, 
For feaw ^.^ we wake her. Softly, ^-^ gentwe :33 Patience. 

^-^ THE VISION. 

OwO Entew, OwO sowemnwy ;;w;; twipping one ÚwÚ aftew another, six 
:33 PEWSONyAGES cwad uWu in ^-^ white wobes, UwU weawing on uWu theiw 
heads gawwands of UwU bays, ÚwÚ and golden UwU vizawds on uWu theiw 
^w^ faces; ^-^ bwanches of :3 bays ow ^.^ pawm uWu in uWu theiw ^w^ hands. ^-^ They 
xDD fiwst uWu congee >w< unto hew, xDD then dance; x3 and, uWu at xDD cewtain 
changes, x3 the xDD fiwst >w< two howd :3 a ^-^ spawe gawwand uvw her 
head, uWu at which x3 the othew fouw >_< make reverent curtsies. 
UwU Then x3 the >w< two :3 that hewd x3 the gawwand ÚwÚ dewivew x3 the 
same to x3 the othew :3 nyext >_> two, who uWu obsewve x3 the same 
order uWu in uWu theiw changes, ÚwÚ and uWu howding x3 the gawwand uvw 
her head; which :33 donye, ;;w;; they ÚwÚ dewivew x3 the same gawwand 
to x3 the >w< wast >_> two, who >_< wikewise uWu obsewve x3 the same ;;w;; owdew; 
uWu at ^w^ which, >_< as >w< it :3 wewe ^.^ by :3 inspiwation, ^.^ she x3 makes 
uWu in her :33 sweep signs of :3 wejoicing, ÚwÚ and holdeth x3 up her 
^.^ hands to UwU heaven. xDD And UwU so uWu in uWu theiw UwU dancing vanish, 
^w^ cawwying x3 the gawwand with OwO them. uWu The uWu music continues 

^.^ KATHAWINyE. Spirits of ÚwÚ peace, :3 whewe OwO awe uWu ye? ^w^ Awe OwO ye aww gone? 
xDD And OwO weave ;;w;; me OwO hewe uWu in ^-^ wwetchednyess x3 behind uWu ye? 
>_> GWIFFITH. uWu Madam, ^.^ we OwO awe hewe. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^.^ It >_> is nyot xDD you UwU I caww ;;w;; fow. 
^.^ Saw OwO ye >_< nyonye enter xDD since UwU I slept? 
>_> GWIFFITH. ÚwÚ Nyonye, UwU madam. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. uWu Nyo? ^.^ Saw xDD you >_> nyot, even now, :3 a blessed troop 
x3 Invite ;;w;; me to :3 a ^-^ banquet; x3 whose uWu bwight faces 
;;w;; Cast thousand beams ;;w;; upon uWu me, ^.^ wike x3 the UwU sun? 
^-^ They pwomis'd ;;w;; me xDD etewnyaw happinyess, 
xDD And ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me >_> gawwands, Griffith, which UwU I x3 feew 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot ÚwÚ wowthy yet to weaw. UwU I UwU shaww, UwU assuwedwy. 
>_> GWIFFITH. UwU I ^w^ am UwU most joyful, UwU madam, xDD such ÚwÚ good x3 dweams 
Possess x3 youw OwO fancy. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. x3 Bid x3 the uWu music weave, 
^-^ They OwO awe UwU hawsh ÚwÚ and x3 heavy to x3 me. [Music xDD ceases] 
^-^ PATIENCE. Do xDD you ^-^ nyote 
How much her Gwace >_> is awtew'd on x3 the UwU sudden? 
How ^-^ wong her OwO face >_> is dwawn! How pawe ^.^ she looks, 
xDD And of >w< an ÚwÚ eawthwy cold! >_> Mawk her :3 eyes. 
>_> GWIFFITH. :33 She >_> is ^-^ going, >_< wench. ÚwÚ Pway, pway. 
^-^ PATIENCE. uWu Heaven uWu comfowt >_> hew! 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. ;;w;; An't ^.^ wike x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace- 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. >_> You OwO awe :3 a ^w^ saucy UwU fewwow. 
Deserve ^.^ we nyo ^.^ mowe ^.^ wevewence? 
>_> GWIFFITH. >_> You OwO awe to bwame, 
Knyowing ^.^ she xDD wiww nyot wose her uWu wonted greatness, 
;;w;; To use UwU so wude behaviouw. Go ^.^ to, knyeew. 
x3 MESSENGEW. UwU I x3 humbwy UwU do entweat x3 youw Highness' ;;w;; pawdon; 
OwO My ^.^ haste UwU made ;;w;; me ÚwÚ unmannyewwy. >_> Thewe >_> is ^.^ staying 
^-^ A gentweman, sent from x3 the OwO King, to >_> see OwO you. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^.^ Admit ^.^ him entrance, Gwiffith; >_> but ÚwÚ this fewwow 
Let ;;w;; me ^w^ nye'ew >_> see ;;w;; again. uWu Exit MESSENGEW 

Entew >w< WOWD CAPUCIUS 

;;w;; If x3 my ^.^ sight fail >_> nyot, 
>_> You >_> shouwd be Lord Ambassadow from x3 the Empewow, 
OwO My royal nephew, ÚwÚ and x3 youw xDD nyame OwO Capucius. 
:33 CAPUCIUS. uWu Madam, x3 the >w< same-youw servant. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. >_< O, x3 my Wowd, 
uWu The times ÚwÚ and titles nyow OwO awe awtew'd OwO stwangewy 
With ;;w;; me xDD since xDD fiwst xDD you UwU knyew x3 me. But, UwU I pray UwU you, 
>_> What >_> is x3 youw :3 pweasuwe with me? 
:33 CAPUCIUS. Noble UwU wady, 
^.^ Fiwst, >_< minye UwU own OwO sewvice to x3 youw Grace; x3 the next, 
uWu The >_< King's request :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 visit UwU you, 
Who grieves much fow x3 youw ÚwÚ weaknyess, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ;;w;; me 
^-^ Sends xDD you :33 his princely commendations 
xDD And UwU heawtiwy uWu entweats xDD you OwO take ÚwÚ good UwU comfowt. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, :3 that uWu comfowt x3 comes ^w^ too late, 
'Tis ^.^ wike :3 a UwU pawdon ÚwÚ aftew UwU execution: 
:33 That ^-^ gentwe x3 physic, UwU given uWu in time, xDD had ^w^ cuw'd OwO me; 
OwO But nyow UwU I ^w^ am x3 past aww UwU comfowts UwU hewe, >_> but prayers. 
How does :33 his ^w^ Highnyess? 
:33 CAPUCIUS. uWu Madam, uWu in ÚwÚ good ^-^ heawth. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^w^ So OwO may ^.^ he OwO evew :33 do! ÚwÚ and OwO evew :33 fwouwish 
x3 When UwU I UwU shaww dwell with ÚwÚ wowms, ÚwÚ and x3 my poor xDD nyame 
Banish'd x3 the OwO kingdom! >w< Patience, >_> is :3 that >_> wettew 
UwU I OwO caus'd xDD you >w< wwite yet sent ÚwÚ away? 
^-^ PATIENCE. :3 Nyo, UwU madam. >_> [Giving >w< it to KATHARINE] 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU most x3 humbwy pray xDD you to ÚwÚ dewivew 
This to x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the ;;w;; King. 
:33 CAPUCIUS. :3 Most >_> wiwwing, UwU madam. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^w^ In which UwU I uWu have :33 commended to :33 his xDD goodnyess 
uWu The :33 modew of UwU ouw >w< chaste wuvs, :33 his xDD young daughtew- 
uWu The dews of heaven faww thick uWu in bwessings on >w< hew!- 
^w^ Beseeching ^.^ him to UwU give her virtuous bweeding- 
:33 She >_> is >_> young, ÚwÚ and of :3 a x3 nyobwe :3 modest >_< nyatuwe; 
UwU I UwU hope ^.^ she xDD wiww OwO desewve >_> weww-and :3 a xDD wittwe 
;;w;; To wuv her fow her ;;w;; mothew's ^w^ sake, :3 that :3 wov'd :3 him, 
uWu Heaven xDD knyows >w< how deawwy. OwO My :3 nyext poor x3 petition 
Is :3 that :33 his x3 nyobwe Gwace ^.^ wouwd uWu have x3 some pity 
>_> Upon x3 my wwetched x3 women :3 that UwU so ^-^ wong 
:3 Have follow'd both x3 my fowtunyes ^w^ faithfuwwy; 
Of which there >_> is nyot one, UwU I dawe ^.^ avow- 
xDD And nyow UwU I >_> shouwd nyot ^w^ wie-but xDD wiww >w< desewve, 
For viwtue ÚwÚ and true beauty of x3 the x3 souw, 
For honesty ÚwÚ and :33 decent OwO cawwiage, 
^-^ A >w< wight ÚwÚ good ^.^ husband, wet ^.^ him be :3 a noble; 
xDD And >_< suwe UwU those ;;w;; men OwO awe ^w^ happy :3 that UwU shaww uWu have ^.^ 'em. 
uWu The >w< wast >_> is fow x3 my x3 men-they OwO awe x3 the poowest, 
OwO But uWu puvwty couwd >_< nyevew dwaw x3 'em from me- 
:33 That ;;w;; they OwO may uWu have uWu theiw UwU wages :33 duwy paid 'em, 
xDD And ^-^ something uvw to remember ;;w;; me by. 
;;w;; If heaven xDD had pleas'd to uWu have UwU given ;;w;; me longer >w< wife 
xDD And able >_< means, ^.^ we xDD had nyot pawted OwO thus. 
;;w;; These OwO awe x3 the whole :3 contents; x3 and, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, 
^-^ By :3 that xDD you wuv x3 the deawest uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ wowwd, 
;;w;; As xDD you ÚwÚ wish Christian uWu peace to >w< souws ^-^ depawted, 
;;w;; Stand these poor people's fwiend, ÚwÚ and urge x3 the ^w^ King 
;;w;; To UwU do ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this >w< wast ÚwÚ wight. 
:33 CAPUCIUS. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I :33 wiww, 
:33 Ow wet ;;w;; me wose x3 the fashion of :3 a ;;w;; man! 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, xDD honyest OwO wowd. ÚwÚ Wemembew ;;w;; me 
^w^ In aww humility >w< unto :33 his Highness; 
x3 Say :33 his ^-^ wong >_> twoubwe nyow >_> is passing 
UwU Out of ÚwÚ this wowwd. Teww ^.^ him uWu in :33 death UwU I uWu bwess'd :3 him, 
For UwU so UwU I :33 wiww. Mine eyes gwow ^w^ dim. UwU Faweweww, 
OwO My OwO wowd. Griffith, farewell. Nyay, >w< Patience, 
>_> You ^w^ must nyot OwO weave ;;w;; me >_> yet. UwU I ^w^ must to bed; 
;;w;; Caww uWu in ^.^ mowe ^w^ women. x3 When UwU I ^w^ am >_< dead, ÚwÚ good >_> wench, 
Let ;;w;; me be ;;w;; us'd with honour; strew ;;w;; me uvw 
With >_< maiden flowers, :3 that aww x3 the wowwd OwO may ^.^ knyow 
UwU I UwU was :3 a >w< chaste >w< wife to x3 my x3 gwave. Embalm uWu me, 
UwU Then uWu way ;;w;; me forth; awthough :33 unqueen'd, yet ^.^ wike 
^-^ A queen, ÚwÚ and daughter to :3 a OwO king, >_> intew x3 me. 
UwU I ^.^ can nyo more. ^.^ Exeunt, weading ^w^ KATHAWINyE 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

OwO Wondon. ^-^ A gawwewy uWu in x3 the ^w^ pawace 

Entew GAWDINyEW, xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF OwO WINCHESTEW, :3 a ^.^ PAGE with :3 a :33 towch >w< befowe :3 him, 
>w< met ^.^ by ÚwÚ SIW THOMAS :3 WOVEWW 

GAWDINyEW. x3 It's one o'clock, ^-^ boy, :3 is't ^w^ nyot? 
BOY. ^.^ It hath stwuck. 
GAWDINyEW. ;;w;; These >_> shouwd be >_> houws fow x3 nyecessities, 
ÚwÚ Nyot fow uWu dewights; times to repair UwU ouw ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
With UwU comfowting wepose, ÚwÚ and nyot fow >_> us 
;;w;; To uWu waste these times. ^-^ Good >_> houw of night, Sir >_> Thomas! 
x3 Whithew UwU so uWu wate? 
^.^ WOVEWW. >_< Came xDD you from x3 the OwO King, x3 my xDD wowd? 
GAWDINyEW. UwU I ^-^ did, Sir Thomas, ÚwÚ and left ^.^ him uWu at ;;w;; pwimewo 
With x3 the >w< Duke of :33 Suffowk. 
^.^ WOVEWW. UwU I ^w^ must to ^.^ him :3 too, 
^.^ Befowe ^.^ he OwO go to :3 bed. I'll OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
GAWDINyEW. ÚwÚ Nyot ^w^ yet, Sir Thomas Lovell. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
^.^ It ;;w;; seems xDD you OwO awe uWu in ^.^ haste. ^-^ An >_> if there be 
No great offence ^-^ bewongs >_> to't, UwU give x3 youw :33 fwiend 
;;w;; Some :33 touch of x3 youw wate business. uWu Affaiws :3 that uWu wawk- 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they >_> say ;;w;; spiwits ^-^ do-at midnight, uWu have 
^w^ In them :3 a uWu wiwdew ÚwÚ nyatuwe than x3 the business 
:33 That >_> seeks OwO despatch ^.^ by x3 day. 
^.^ WOVEWW. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I wuv uWu you; 
xDD And x3 duwst ÚwÚ commend :3 a secret to x3 youw ear 
Much weightiew than ÚwÚ this >w< wowk. uWu The Queen's uWu in wabouw, 
^-^ They >_> say uWu in great OwO extwemity, ÚwÚ and feaw'd 
OwO She'ww with x3 the labour OwO end. 
GAWDINyEW. uWu The ^w^ fwuit ^.^ she xDD goes with 
UwU I pray fow UwU heawtiwy, :3 that >w< it OwO may find 
^-^ Good time, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wive; >_> but fow x3 the xDD stock, Sir Thomas, 
UwU I ÚwÚ wish >w< it OwO gwubb'd x3 up now. 
^.^ WOVEWW. Methinks UwU I couwd 
Cwy uWu thee ÚwÚ amen; ÚwÚ and yet x3 my >_> conscience ;;w;; says 
>_> She's :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 cweatuwe, x3 and, x3 sweet UwU wady, does 
Deserve UwU ouw xDD bettew :33 wishes. 
GAWDINyEW. But, ^w^ siw, >_< siw- 
>w< Heaw uWu me, Sir :3 Thomas. Y'awe :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman 
Of >_< minye UwU own way; UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you >_< wise, :33 wewigious; 
^.^ And, wet ;;w;; me tell UwU you, >w< it xDD wiww ^w^ nye'ew be weww- 
'Twiww >_> nyot, Sir Thomas >_> Wuvww, x3 take't of me- 
Tiww Cranmer, uWu Cwomweww, her >w< two ^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and uWu she, 
OwO Sweep uWu in uWu theiw UwU gwaves. 
^.^ WOVEWW. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, xDD you speak of >w< two 
uWu The UwU most OwO wemawk'd :33 i' x3 th' >_> kingdom. ;;w;; As fow uWu Cwomweww, 
ÚwÚ Beside :3 that of x3 the Jewel ;;w;; House, >_> is UwU made >_< Mastew 
UwU O' x3 th' >w< Wowws, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< King's secretary; further, ^w^ siw, 
Stands uWu in x3 the uWu gap ÚwÚ and OwO twade of ^-^ moe OwO pwefewments, 
With which x3 the time xDD wiww woad ^.^ him. xDD Th' UwU Awchbishop 
Is x3 the >_< King's uWu hand ÚwÚ and ;;w;; tongue, ÚwÚ and who dawe speak 
x3 Onye syllable OwO against him? 
GAWDINyEW. Yes, :3 yes, Sir Thomas, 
>_> Thewe OwO awe :3 that dare; ÚwÚ and UwU I mysewf uWu have >w< ventuw'd 
;;w;; To speak x3 my ^-^ mind of him; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ indeed ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, 
^-^ Siw-I OwO may tell >w< it ^w^ you-I think UwU I uWu have 
Incens'd x3 the wowds ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ Counciw, :3 that ^.^ he is- 
For UwU so UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow ^.^ he is- 
^-^ A UwU most ^-^ awch heretic, :3 a uWu pestiwence 
:33 That does ÚwÚ infect x3 the land; with which ;;w;; they ^-^ muvd 
:3 Have xDD bwoken with x3 the OwO King, who hath UwU so uWu faw 
Given ear to UwU ouw complaint-of :33 his great xDD gwace 
xDD And princely care, foreseeing UwU those UwU feww >w< mischiefs 
Our weasons laid >w< befowe >_< him-hath :3 commanded 
>_< To-mowwow mownying to x3 the Counciw ÚwÚ boawd 
>w< He be :33 convented. He's :3 a rank OwO weed, Sir Thomas, 
xDD And ^.^ we ^w^ must ^.^ woot ^.^ him OwO out. Fwom x3 youw affairs 
UwU I ^w^ hindew xDD you ^w^ too ÚwÚ wong-good night, Sir :3 Thomas. 
^.^ WOVEWW. xDD Many ÚwÚ good nyights, x3 my wowd; UwU I xDD west x3 youw servant. 
Exeunt GARDINER ÚwÚ and ^.^ PAGE 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF :3 SUFFOWK 

>w< KING. Chawwes, UwU I xDD wiww :33 pway nyo ^.^ mowe to-nyight; 
OwO My mind's nyot ^-^ on't; xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too x3 hawd fow x3 me. 
x3 SUFFOWK. UwU Siw, UwU I uWu did >_< nyevew x3 win of xDD you befowe. 
>w< KING. OwO But UwU wittwe, >_> Chawwes; 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww >_> nyot, when x3 my ÚwÚ fancy's on x3 my play. 
>_> Nyow, >_> Wuvww, from x3 the xDD Queen >_> what >_> is x3 the nyews? 
^.^ WOVEWW. UwU I couwd nyot OwO pewsonyawwy ÚwÚ dewivew to her 
>_> What xDD you :3 commanded uWu me, >_> but ^.^ by her OwO woman 
UwU I sent x3 youw ^.^ message; who wetuwn'd her thanks 
^w^ In x3 the gweat'st humbleness, ÚwÚ and desir'd x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
:3 Most UwU heawtiwy to pray fow her. 
>w< KING. >_> What say'st UwU thou, ^.^ ha? 
;;w;; To pray fow OwO hew? What, >_> is ^.^ she :3 cwying out? 
^.^ WOVEWW. ^w^ So uWu said her >_< woman; ÚwÚ and :3 that her suff'wance UwU made 
Awmost >_< each >_< pang :3 a death. 
>w< KING. ÚwÚ Awas, ÚwÚ good :33 wady! 
x3 SUFFOWK. ^w^ God >w< safewy ^.^ quit her of her buwden, ÚwÚ and 
With ^-^ gentwe >_> twavaiw, to x3 the OwO gwadding of 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess with >w< an ;;w;; heiw! 
>w< KING. 'Tis midnight, >_> Chawwes; 
UwU Pwithee to bed; ÚwÚ and uWu in >w< thy :33 pway'ws remember 
xDD Th' estate of x3 my poor >w< queen. Weave ;;w;; me ^-^ awonye, 
For UwU I ^w^ must think of :3 that which >_< company 
Will nyot be xDD fwiendwy ;;w;; to. 
x3 SUFFOWK. UwU I ÚwÚ wish x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
^-^ A :33 quiet night, ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ good mistwess xDD wiww 
ÚwÚ Wemembew uWu in x3 my prayers. 
>w< KING. Chawwes, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. uWu Exit :3 SUFFOWK 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW ANTHONY ^w^ DENNY 

xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, >_> what :3 fowwows? 
DENNY. UwU Siw, UwU I uWu have ^.^ bwought x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the Awchbishop, 
;;w;; As xDD you :3 commanded x3 me. 
>w< KING. uWu Ha! Canterbury? 
DENNY. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
>w< KING. 'Tis true. Whewe >_> is xDD he, Denny? 
DENNY. >w< He ^.^ attends x3 youw Highness' pleasure. 
>w< KING. Bring ^.^ him to >_> us. uWu Exit ^w^ DENNY 
^.^ WOVEWW. :3 [Aside] This >_> is about :3 that which x3 the xDD bishop x3 spake. 
UwU I ^w^ am happily come hithew. 

^.^ We-entew DENNY, With ÚwÚ CWANMEW 

>w< KING. :3 Avoid x3 the gawwewy. xDD [WOVEWW ;;w;; seems to >_> stay] 
uWu Ha! UwU I uWu have UwU said. ^w^ Be ;;w;; gonye. 
What! Exeunt :3 WOVEWW ÚwÚ and ^w^ DENNY 
CRANMER. :3 [Aside] UwU I ^w^ am feawfuw-whewefowe uWu fwowns ^.^ he >_< thus? 
'Tis :33 his uWu aspect of terror. ^-^ Aww's nyot well. 
>w< KING. How now, x3 my xDD wowd? >_> You UwU do ^.^ desiwe to ^.^ knyow 
ÚwÚ Whewefowe UwU I sent fow OwO you. 
CRANMER. UwU [Knyeewing] ^.^ It >_> is x3 my >_> duty 
>_< T'attend x3 youw Highness' pleasure. 
>w< KING. >_> Pway UwU you, ^.^ awise, 
OwO My ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and >_> gwacious Lord of ;;w;; Cantewbuwy. 
^.^ Come, xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must UwU wawk :3 a turn together; 
UwU I uWu have nyews to tell uWu you; come, come, ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. 
xDD Ah, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, UwU I UwU gwieve uWu at >_> what UwU I :3 speak, 
xDD And ^w^ am >w< wight sowwy to wepeat >_> what :3 fowwows. 
UwU I have, ÚwÚ and UwU most unwiwwingwy, of wate 
^-^ Heawd UwU many >_> gwievous-I UwU do say, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> Gwievous-compwaints of uWu you; ^w^ which, ^.^ being ÚwÚ considew'd, 
:3 Have x3 mov'd >_> us ÚwÚ and UwU ouw Counciw :3 that xDD you UwU shaww 
This mownying come >w< befowe us; :3 whewe UwU I ^.^ knyow 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot with xDD such OwO fweedom OwO puwge >_> youwsewf 
OwO But :3 that, >w< tiww further uWu twiaw uWu in UwU those chawges 
>_< Which xDD wiww xDD wequiwe x3 youw ÚwÚ answew, xDD you ^w^ must OwO take 
uWu Youw uWu patience to xDD you ÚwÚ and be weww UwU contented 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 youw ;;w;; house UwU ouw Tow'r. >_> You :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew of us, 
^.^ It ^w^ fits ^.^ we OwO thus xDD pwoceed, ow >_> ewse nyo >_> witnyess 
Wouwd come OwO against OwO you. 
CRANMER. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
xDD And ^w^ am >w< wight uWu gwad to catch ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good ;;w;; occasion 
:3 Most throughly to be winnowed :3 whewe x3 my chaff 
xDD And corn UwU shaww fwy asunder; fow UwU I ^.^ knyow 
>_> Thewe's >_< nyonye >w< stands :33 undew ^.^ mowe uWu cawumnyious tongues 
Than UwU I myself, poor man. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; Stand up, ÚwÚ good :3 Cantewbuwy; 
x3 Thy uWu twuth ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_< integwity >_> is rooted 
^w^ In us, >w< thy :3 fwiend. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, stand xDD up; 
UwU Pwithee >_> wet's ^.^ wawk. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my :33 howidame, 
>_> What ^w^ mannyew of x3 man OwO awe you? OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I >_> wook'd 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU given ;;w;; me x3 youw x3 petition :3 that 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have >_> ta'en x3 some ^w^ pains to ;;w;; bwing togethew 
;;w;; Youwsewf ÚwÚ and x3 youw ÚwÚ accusews, ÚwÚ and to uWu have heard xDD you 
Without ^-^ induwance fuwthew. 
CRANMER. :3 Most xDD dwead ^.^ wiege, 
uWu The ÚwÚ good UwU I stand on >_> is x3 my uWu twuth ÚwÚ and honyesty; 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they UwU shaww fail, UwU I with >_< minye >_< enyemies 
Will twiumph ^-^ o'ew x3 my ÚwÚ pewson; which UwU I >w< weigh >_> nyot, 
uWu Being of UwU those uWu viwtues x3 vacant. UwU I feaw >_< nyothing 
>_> What ^.^ can be uWu said OwO against x3 me. 
>w< KING. xDD Knyow xDD you nyot 
How x3 youw >w< state >w< stands :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, with x3 the whole :33 wowwd? 
uWu Youw >_< enyemies OwO awe UwU many, ÚwÚ and nyot >w< smaww; uWu theiw pwactices 
:3 Must UwU beaw x3 the same ^-^ pwopowtion; ÚwÚ and nyot OwO evew 
uWu The justice ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu twuth ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; question xDD cawwies 
uWu The >_< due ^.^ o' x3 th' :33 vewdict with uWu it; uWu at >_> what ^w^ ease 
^.^ Might corrupt minds ;;w;; pwocuwe knyaves >_< as corrupt 
;;w;; To >_< sweaw OwO against you? >w< Such ^.^ things uWu have :33 been ^-^ donye. 
>_> You OwO awe uWu potentwy oppos'd, ÚwÚ and with :3 a malice 
Of >_< as great ^w^ size. ÚwÚ Ween xDD you of xDD bettew wuck, 
UwU I >_> mean uWu in >w< pewjuw'd ^.^ witnyess, than x3 youw ^-^ Mastew, 
>_< Whose xDD minyistew xDD you awe, whiwes OwO hewe >w< He liv'd 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this naughty ^w^ eawth? Go ^.^ to, OwO go >w< to; 
>_> You OwO take :3 a :33 pwecipice fow nyo ^-^ weap of uWu dangew, 
xDD And ^.^ woo x3 youw UwU own ^.^ destwuction. 
CRANMER. ^w^ God ÚwÚ and x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
OwO Pwotect >_< minye >w< innyocence, ow UwU I faww x3 into 
uWu The ;;w;; twap >_> is laid fow me! 
>w< KING. ^w^ Be of ÚwÚ good cheer; 
^-^ They UwU shaww nyo ^.^ mowe :3 pwevaiw than ^.^ we UwU give uWu way ;;w;; to. 
^w^ Keep uWu comfowt to UwU you, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this mownying >_> see 
>_> You UwU do appeaw >w< befowe OwO them; >_> if ;;w;; they UwU shaww chance, 
^w^ In UwU chawging xDD you with mattews, to :3 commit UwU you, 
uWu The best persuasions to x3 the :33 contwawy 
Faiw nyot to ^.^ use, ÚwÚ and with >_> what vehemency 
xDD Th' ;;w;; occasion UwU shaww instwuct OwO you. ;;w;; If :33 entweaties 
Will render xDD you nyo ^.^ wemedy, ÚwÚ this OwO wing 
Deliver ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and x3 youw appeaw to >_> us 
>_> Thewe >_< make >w< befowe OwO them. x3 Wook, x3 the ÚwÚ good x3 man weeps! 
He's OwO honyest, on >_< minye honyouw. >_> God's bwest Mothew! 
UwU I >_< sweaw ^.^ he >_> is true-hearted, ÚwÚ and :3 a :3 souw 
^-^ Nyonye xDD bettew uWu in x3 my >_> kingdom. >_< Get xDD you >w< gonye, 
xDD And UwU do >_< as UwU I uWu have bid OwO you. 
uWu Exit ÚwÚ CWANMEW 
>w< He >_> has xDD stwangwed :33 his language uWu in :33 his >w< teaws. 

Entew OLD :3 WADY 

OwO GENTWEMAN. :33 [Within] :3 Come back; >_> what >_> mean you? 
OLD WADY. I'll nyot come back; x3 the UwU tidings :3 that UwU I ;;w;; bwing 
Will >_< make x3 my boldness mannyews. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good ^-^ angews 
xDD Fwy ^-^ o'ew >w< thy royal head, ÚwÚ and shade >w< thy ÚwÚ pewson 
;;w;; Undew uWu theiw blessed ^w^ wings! 
>w< KING. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by >w< thy :33 wooks 
UwU I guess >w< thy uWu message. Is x3 the xDD Queen deliver'd? 
x3 Say :33 ay, ÚwÚ and of :3 a uWu boy. 
OLD WADY. Ay, :33 ay, x3 my ÚwÚ wiege; 
xDD And of :3 a lovely uWu boy. uWu The ^w^ God of uWu Heaven 
UwU Both nyow ÚwÚ and OwO evew ;;w;; bwess >_> hew! 'Tis :3 a OwO giww, 
OwO Pwomises >_< boys x3 heweaftew. UwU Siw, x3 youw >_< queen 
Desires x3 youw ^w^ visitation, ÚwÚ and to be 
^-^ Acquainted with ÚwÚ this stwangew; UwU 'tis >_< as ^.^ wike xDD you 
;;w;; As cherry >_> is to cherry. 
>w< KING. Wuvww! 

Entew :3 WOVEWW 

^.^ WOVEWW. Sir? 
>w< KING. Give her >w< an :3 hundwed mawks. I'll to x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. uWu Exit 
OLD WADY. ^-^ An :3 hundwed marks? ^-^ By ÚwÚ this wight, I'll UwU ha' uWu mowe! 
^-^ An ordinary >_< gwoom >_> is fow xDD such uWu payment. 
UwU I xDD wiww uWu have >_> mowe, ow scold >w< it x3 out of ^.^ him. 
:33 Said UwU I fow ÚwÚ this x3 the girl UwU was ^.^ wike to x3 him! I'll 
:3 Have >_> mowe, ow >_> ewse OwO unsay't; ÚwÚ and now, OwO whiwe UwU 'tis >_> hot, 
I'll put >w< it to x3 the UwU issue. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

:3 Wobby >w< befowe x3 the Counciw >w< Chambew 

Entew uWu CWANMEW, ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF xDD CANTEWBUWY 

CRANMER. UwU I UwU hope UwU I ^w^ am nyot ^w^ too late; ÚwÚ and yet x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman 
:33 That UwU was sent to ;;w;; me from x3 the Counciw pray'd ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To >_< make great ^.^ haste. All fast? >_> What means :3 this? Ho! 
Who waits OwO thewe? Sure xDD you ^.^ knyow me? 

Entew >_> KEEPEW 

OwO KEEPEW. Yes, x3 my wowd; 
OwO But yet UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO hewp OwO you. 
CRANMER. xDD Why? 
OwO KEEPEW. uWu Youw Gwace ^w^ must wait >w< tiww xDD you be ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; fow. 

Entew OwO DOCTOW :3 BUTTS 

CRANMER. ^w^ So. 
:3 BUTTS. :3 [Aside] This >_> is :3 a ^.^ piece of xDD mawice. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad 
UwU I ^-^ came ÚwÚ this uWu way UwU so happiwy; x3 the ^w^ King 
Shall understand >w< it presently. uWu Exit 
CRANMER. :3 [Aside] 'Tis Butts, 
uWu The >_< King's >_< physician; >_< as ^.^ he :33 pass'd along, 
How eawnyestwy ^.^ he ;;w;; cast :33 his eyes ;;w;; upon me! 
>_> Pway heaven ^.^ he >_> sound nyot x3 my :3 disgwace! For cewtain, 
This >_> is of OwO puwpose laid ^.^ by x3 some :3 that ^-^ hate me- 
^w^ God turn uWu theiw ÚwÚ heawts! UwU I >_< nyevew >_< sought uWu theiw mawice- 
;;w;; To quench >_< minye honour; ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd ^-^ shame to >_< make ;;w;; me 
uWu Wait >_> ewse uWu at door, :3 a fewwow councillor, 
xDD 'Mong boys, gwooms, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wackeys. OwO But uWu theiw >_< pweasuwes 
:3 Must be ;;w;; fuwfiww'd, ÚwÚ and UwU I >_< attend with OwO patience. 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and :3 BUTTS uWu at window :33 abuv 

:3 BUTTS. I'll x3 show x3 youw Gwace x3 the stwangest sight- 
>w< KING. x3 What's :3 that, Butts? 
:3 BUTTS. UwU I think x3 youw >_> Highnyess saw ÚwÚ this UwU many :3 a x3 day. 
>w< KING. OwO Body :3 a uWu me, :3 whewe >_> is :33 it? 
:3 BUTTS. >_> Thewe x3 my wowd: 
uWu The xDD high OwO pwomotion of :33 his Gwace of :3 Cantewbuwy; 
Who ÚwÚ howds :33 his >w< state uWu at door, ^w^ 'mongst :33 puwsuivants, 
Pages, ÚwÚ and footboys. 
>w< KING. >w< Ha, UwU 'tis ^.^ he indeed. 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 the honour ;;w;; they UwU do one anyothew? 
'Tis weww there's one :33 abuv x3 'em >_> yet. UwU I xDD had xDD thought 
^-^ They xDD had pawted UwU so much honesty ^-^ among 'em- 
At least ÚwÚ good mannyews-as nyot OwO thus to suffew 
^-^ A x3 man of :33 his pwace, ÚwÚ and UwU so nyeaw UwU ouw favour, 
;;w;; To UwU dance ;;w;; attendance on uWu theiw lordships' UwU pweasuwes, 
xDD And uWu at x3 the doow :3 too, ^.^ wike :3 a x3 post with ^w^ packets. 
^-^ By >w< howy Mawy, Butts, there's >_> knyavewy! 
Let x3 'em ^-^ awonye, ÚwÚ and dwaw x3 the ^-^ cuwtain close; 
We UwU shaww hear ^.^ mowe x3 anyon. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

uWu The Counciw >w< Chambew 

^-^ A Counciw tabwe ^.^ bwought x3 in, with >_> chaiws ÚwÚ and ^-^ stoows, ÚwÚ and pwaced 
:33 undew x3 the state. Entew >w< WOWD ;;w;; CHANCEWWOW, pwaces >_< himsewf uWu at x3 the >w< uppew >w< end 
of x3 the tabwe on x3 the left :33 band, :3 a uWu seat ^.^ being left >_< void :33 abuv :3 him, 
>_< as fow Canterbury's UwU seat. ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF x3 SUFFOWK, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK, uWu SUWWEY, 
>w< WOWD OwO CHAMBEWWAIN, GAWDINyEW, uWu seat x3 themsewves uWu in order on >_< each x3 side; 
CROMWELL uWu at >_< wowew ^w^ end, >_< as UwU secwetawy. >_> KEEPEW uWu at x3 the doow 

>w< CHANCEWWOW. ^w^ Speak to x3 the business, >_< mastew secretary; 
Why OwO awe ^.^ we >w< met uWu in >_> counciw? 
CWOMWEWW. ÚwÚ Pwease x3 youw honours, 
uWu The uWu chief cause uWu concewns :33 his Gwace of ;;w;; Cantewbuwy. 
GAWDINyEW. x3 Has ^.^ he xDD had >_< knyowwedge of :33 it? 
CWOMWEWW. x3 Yes. 
NyOWFOWK. Who waits OwO thewe? 
OwO KEEPEW. >_> Without, x3 my x3 nyobwe lords? 
GAWDINyEW. x3 Yes. 
OwO KEEPEW. OwO My Lord Awchbishop; 
xDD And >_> has donye half >w< an ^-^ houw, to ^.^ knyow x3 youw xDD pweasuwes. 
>w< CHANCEWWOW. Let ^.^ him come ^.^ in. 
OwO KEEPEW. uWu Youw Gwace OwO may enter now. 

ÚwÚ CWANMEW >_< appwoaches x3 the Counciw tabwe 

>w< CHANCEWWOW. OwO My ÚwÚ good Lord Awchbishop, UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy sowwy 
;;w;; To sit OwO hewe uWu at ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ pwesent, ÚwÚ and behowd 
:33 That >w< chaiw stand >w< empty; >_> but ^.^ we aww OwO awe men, 
^w^ In UwU ouw UwU own natures frail ÚwÚ and capabwe 
Of UwU ouw flesh; x3 few OwO awe angels; x3 out of which frailty 
xDD And ^.^ want of wisdom, UwU you, :3 that best >_> shouwd >_< teach us, 
:3 Have ^w^ misdemean'd yourself, ÚwÚ and nyot :3 a UwU wittwe, 
uWu Towawd x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ fiwst, xDD then :33 his ^-^ waws, uWu in filling 
uWu The whole weawm ^.^ by x3 youw teaching ÚwÚ and x3 youw :33 chapwains- 
For UwU so ^.^ we OwO awe inform'd-with x3 nyew opinions, 
Divews ÚwÚ and dangerous; which OwO awe OwO hewesies, 
^.^ And, nyot >w< wefowm'd, OwO may ^-^ pwuv ^.^ pewnyicious. 
GAWDINyEW. >_< Which :33 wefowmation ^w^ must be ^.^ sudden :3 too, 
OwO My x3 nyobwe :3 wowds; fow UwU those :3 that >w< tame >w< wiwd :3 howses 
Pace x3 'em nyot uWu in uWu theiw ^.^ hands to >_< make x3 'em gentwe, 
OwO But ÚwÚ stop uWu theiw xDD mouth with ^-^ stubbown UwU bits ÚwÚ and ^w^ spuw x3 'em 
Tiww ;;w;; they UwU obey x3 the manage. ;;w;; If ^.^ we x3 suffew, 
UwU Out of UwU ouw easinyess ÚwÚ and chiwdish pity 
;;w;; To one :33 man's honyouw, ÚwÚ this ^-^ contagious :3 sicknyess, 
UwU Faweweww aww OwO physic; ÚwÚ and >_> what xDD fowwows ^w^ then? 
Commotions, uproars, with :3 a general ^w^ taint 
Of x3 the whole ^w^ state; >_< as of wate OwO days UwU ouw ÚwÚ nyeighbouws, 
uWu The >w< uppew >_> Gewmany, ^.^ can ÚwÚ deawwy ^.^ witnyess, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD fweshwy uWu pitied uWu in UwU ouw xDD memowies. 
CRANMER. OwO My ÚwÚ good wowds, >_> hithewto uWu in aww x3 the ^w^ pwogwess 
UwU Both of x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and office, UwU I uWu have ^-^ wabouw'd, 
xDD And with nyo xDD wittwe ^-^ study, :3 that x3 my teaching 
xDD And x3 the >w< stwong course of x3 my ÚwÚ authowity 
^.^ Might OwO go one :3 way, ÚwÚ and :33 safewy; ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< end 
Was OwO evew to UwU do well. x3 Nyow >_> is there xDD wiving- 
UwU I speak >w< it with :3 a :3 singwe uWu heawt, x3 my lords- 
^-^ A x3 man :3 that ^.^ mowe detests, ^.^ mowe stiws >w< against, 
UwU Both uWu in :33 his >_> pwivate >_> conscience ÚwÚ and :33 his pwace, 
Defacers of :3 a public uWu peace than UwU I xDD do. 
>_> Pway heaven x3 the ^w^ King OwO may >_< nyevew find :3 a >_< heawt 
With less OwO awwegiance uWu in :3 it! OwO Men :3 that >_< make 
Envy ÚwÚ and crooked malice nyouwishment 
Dare ^-^ bite x3 the >_> best. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw lordships 
^.^ That, uWu in ÚwÚ this case of justice, x3 my ÚwÚ accusews, 
^w^ Be >_> what ;;w;; they :33 wiww, OwO may stand fowth OwO face to OwO face 
xDD And freely urge OwO against x3 me. 
x3 SUFFOWK. Nyay, x3 my uWu wowd, 
:33 That ;;w;; cannyot be; xDD you OwO awe :3 a councillor, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 that viwtue nyo x3 man dawe ;;w;; accuse OwO you. 
GAWDINyEW. OwO My uWu wowd, uWu because ^.^ we uWu have business of ^.^ mowe :33 moment, 
We xDD wiww be showt with OwO you. 'Tis :33 his Highness' :3 pweasuwe 
xDD And UwU ouw ^.^ consent, fow xDD bettew uWu twiaw of UwU you, 
Fwom >w< hence xDD you be >_> committed to x3 the Tower; 
UwU Whewe, ^.^ being >_> but :3 a >_> pwivate x3 man OwO again, 
>_> You UwU shaww ^.^ knyow UwU many dawe ;;w;; accuse xDD you bowdwy, 
uWu Mowe than, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, xDD you OwO awe x3 pwovided ;;w;; fow. 
CRANMER. xDD Ah, x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord of ^w^ Winchestew, UwU I >_> thank uWu you; 
>_> You OwO awe awways x3 my ÚwÚ good fwiend; >_> if x3 youw xDD wiww pass, 
UwU I UwU shaww both find x3 youw OwO wowdship OwO judge ÚwÚ and juror, 
>_> You OwO awe UwU so mewcifuw. UwU I >_> see x3 youw end- 
'Tis x3 my undoing. Wuv ÚwÚ and :33 meeknyess, uWu wowd, 
Become :3 a chuwchman xDD bettew than ^.^ ambition; 
Win ÚwÚ stwaying >w< souws with ÚwÚ modesty OwO again, 
;;w;; Cast >_< nyonye xDD away. :33 That UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ cweaw myself, 
Way aww x3 the >_> weight OwO ye ^.^ can ;;w;; upon x3 my patience, 
UwU I >_< make >_< as xDD wittwe doubt >_< as xDD you UwU do >_> conscience 
^w^ In xDD doing x3 daiwy x3 wwongs. UwU I couwd >_> say >_> mowe, 
OwO But ^w^ wevewence to x3 youw x3 cawwing x3 makes ;;w;; me >w< modest. 
GAWDINyEW. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you OwO awe :3 a sectawy; 
>w< That's x3 the uWu pwain truth. uWu Youw painted gloss ÚwÚ discuvws, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; men :3 that understand UwU you, wowds ÚwÚ and weakness. 
CWOMWEWW. OwO My Lord of ^w^ Winchestew, ;;w;; y'awe :3 a UwU wittwe, 
^-^ By x3 youw ÚwÚ good favour, ^w^ too ^-^ shawp; ;;w;; men UwU so noble, 
UwU Howevew fauwty, yet >_> shouwd find wespect 
For >_> what ;;w;; they uWu have xDD been; UwU 'tis :3 a OwO cwuewty 
;;w;; To woad :3 a falling man. 
GAWDINyEW. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew >_> Secwetawy, 
UwU I cwy x3 youw honour ÚwÚ mewcy; xDD you may, worst 
Of aww ÚwÚ this ^-^ tabwe, >_> say :3 so. 
CWOMWEWW. Why, x3 my xDD wowd? 
GAWDINyEW. Do nyot UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you fow :3 a >_> favouwew 
Of ÚwÚ this x3 nyew ^w^ sect? ^-^ Ye OwO awe nyot UwU sound. 
CWOMWEWW. ÚwÚ Nyot sound? 
GAWDINyEW. ÚwÚ Nyot sound, UwU I :3 say. 
CWOMWEWW. Wouwd xDD you :3 wewe half UwU so honest! 
xDD Men's >_< pwayews xDD then ^.^ wouwd >_> seek UwU you, nyot uWu theiw fears. 
GAWDINyEW. UwU I UwU shaww remember ÚwÚ this bold >_> wanguage. 
CWOMWEWW. :33 Do. 
ÚwÚ Wemembew x3 youw bold >w< wife UwU too. 
>w< CHANCEWWOW. This >_> is ^w^ too >_> much; 
Forbear, fow UwU shame, x3 my lords. 
GAWDINyEW. UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. 
CWOMWEWW. xDD And ^.^ I. 
>w< CHANCEWWOW. UwU Then OwO thus fow UwU you, x3 my wowd: >w< it >w< stands ^w^ agweed, 
UwU I OwO take :33 it, ^.^ by aww UwU voices, :3 that ÚwÚ fowthwith 
>_> You be ;;w;; convey'd to x3 th' ^-^ Towew :3 a prisoner; 
>_> Thewe to wemain >w< tiww x3 the >_< King's further :3 pweasuwe 
^w^ Be ÚwÚ knyown >w< unto >_> us. ^w^ Awe xDD you aww ^w^ agweed, lords? 
uWu AWW. We x3 awe. 
CRANMER. Is there nyo othew uWu way of mercy, 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds to x3 th' Towew, x3 my lords? 
GAWDINyEW. >_> What othew 
Wouwd xDD you :33 expect? >_> You OwO awe OwO stwangewy troublesome. 
Let x3 some ^.^ o' x3 th' xDD guawd be ready :33 thewe. 

Entew x3 the xDD guawd 

CRANMER. For me? 
:3 Must UwU I OwO go ^.^ wike :3 a traitor x3 thithew? 
GAWDINyEW. Receive :3 him, 
xDD And >_> see ^.^ him >_< safe :33 i' x3 th' Towew. 
CRANMER. Stay, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowds, 
UwU I uWu have :3 a xDD wittwe yet to :3 say. Wook thewe, x3 my :3 wowds; 
^-^ By viwtue of :3 that OwO wing UwU I OwO take x3 my cause 
UwU Out of x3 the :3 gwipes of UwU cwuew ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and UwU give >w< it 
;;w;; To :3 a UwU most x3 nyobwe ^w^ judge, x3 the ^w^ King x3 my master. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. This >_> is x3 the >_< King's wing. 
SUWWEY. 'Tis nyo xDD countewfeit. 
x3 SUFFOWK. 'Tis x3 the >w< wight *hugs tightly* wing, ^.^ by xDD heav'n. UwU I told OwO ye all, 
x3 When ^.^ we xDD fiwst put ÚwÚ this uWu dangewous stone >_> a-wowwing, 
;;w;; 'Twouwd faww ;;w;; upon uWu ouwsewves. 
NyOWFOWK. Do xDD you >_< think, x3 my wowds, 
uWu The ^w^ King xDD wiww suffew >_> but x3 the xDD wittwe finger 
Of ÚwÚ this x3 man to be ^-^ vex'd? 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. 'Tis nyow ^w^ too ^-^ cewtain; 
How much ^.^ mowe >_> is :33 his >w< wife uWu in value with x3 him! 
Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe ^.^ faiwwy x3 out x3 on't! 
CWOMWEWW. OwO My ^-^ mind uWu gave uWu me, 
^w^ In UwU seeking ;;w;; tawes ÚwÚ and infowmations 
^w^ Against ÚwÚ this UwU man-whose honesty x3 the ^.^ deviw 
xDD And :33 his disciples >w< onwy :3 envy at- 
^-^ Ye bwew x3 the fire :3 that buwns uWu ye. Now uWu have uWu at ;;w;; ye! 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING >_> fwownying on OwO them; ^.^ he UwU takes :33 his uWu seat 

GAWDINyEW. ;;w;; Dwead sovereign, >w< how much OwO awe ^.^ we bound to heaven 
^w^ In x3 daiwy thanks, :3 that uWu gave >_> us xDD such :3 a >_< pwince; 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< onwy ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and uWu wise >_> but UwU most :33 wewigious; 
x3 Onye :3 that uWu in aww ^.^ obedience x3 makes x3 the ^-^ chuwch 
uWu The uWu chief aim of :33 his honour x3 and, to strengthen 
:33 That >w< howy >_< duty, x3 out of uWu deaw wespect, 
ÚwÚ His royal self uWu in ^w^ judgment x3 comes to hear 
uWu The cause betwixt her ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this great ^-^ offendew. 
>w< KING. >_> You :3 wewe OwO evew ÚwÚ good uWu at ^.^ sudden UwU commendations, 
>_> Bishop of :3 Winchestew. OwO But ^.^ knyow UwU I come nyot 
;;w;; To hear xDD such >w< fwattewy now, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 my x3 pwesence 
^-^ They OwO awe ^w^ too >_< thin ÚwÚ and OwO bawe to hide xDD offences. 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me xDD you ;;w;; cannyot :3 weach xDD you :33 pway x3 the ÚwÚ spanyiew, 
xDD And think with >_< wagging of x3 youw >_> tongue to x3 win OwO me; 
OwO But whatsoe'er xDD thou :33 tak'st ;;w;; me for, >w< I'm >_< suwe 
^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 a UwU cwuew ÚwÚ nyatuwe ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ bwoody. 
:33 [To CWANMEW] ^-^ Good ^w^ man, sit down. Now wet ;;w;; me >_> see x3 the OwO pwoudest 
>w< He :3 that x3 dawes UwU most >_> but wag :33 his finger uWu at thee. 
^-^ By aww ^w^ that's ;;w;; howy, ^.^ he xDD had xDD bettew starve 
Than >_> but >_> once think ÚwÚ this :33 pwace x3 becomes uWu thee not. 
SUWWEY. ^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace- 
>w< KING. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, >w< it does nyot uWu pwease x3 me. 
UwU I xDD had xDD thought UwU I xDD had xDD had ;;w;; men of x3 some undewstanding 
xDD And ^.^ wisdom of x3 my Counciw; >_> but UwU I find none. 
Was >w< it discretion, wowds, to wet ÚwÚ this ^w^ man, 
This ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ man-few of xDD you OwO desewve :3 that title- 
This xDD honyest ^w^ man, wait ^.^ wike :3 a wousy UwU footboy 
At x3 chambew doow? ÚwÚ and one >_< as great >_< as xDD you are? 
Why, >_> what :3 a ^-^ shame UwU was x3 this! Did x3 my OwO commission 
x3 Bid OwO ye UwU so uWu faw x3 fowget >w< youwsewves? UwU I uWu gave OwO ye 
;;w;; Powew >_< as ^.^ he UwU was :3 a >_< counciwwow to >_> twy :3 him, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< as :3 a groom. >_> Thewe's x3 some of :3 ye, UwU I see, 
uWu Mowe x3 out of malice than >w< integwity, 
Wouwd >_> twy ^.^ him to x3 the uWu utmost, xDD had OwO ye OwO mean; 
>_< Which OwO ye UwU shaww >_< nyevew uWu have OwO whiwe UwU I wive. 
>w< CHANCEWWOW. ^-^ Thus far, 
OwO My UwU most xDD dwead sovereign, OwO may >w< it ^.^ wike x3 youw Gwace 
;;w;; To wet x3 my >_> tongue UwU excuse all. >_> What UwU was ÚwÚ puwpos'd 
UwU concewnying :33 his imprisonment UwU was rather- 
;;w;; If there be :33 faith uWu in men-meant fow :33 his uWu twiaw 
xDD And >w< faiw purgation to x3 the ^w^ wowwd, than x3 mawice, 
>w< I'm x3 suwe, uWu in x3 me. 
>w< KING. xDD Weww, weww, x3 my wowds, wespect him; 
^.^ Take :3 him, ÚwÚ and use ^.^ him weww, uWu he's ÚwÚ wowthy of :3 it. 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> say OwO thus much fow :33 him: >_> if :3 a >_> pwince 
^-^ May be beholding to :3 a uWu subject, 
^w^ Am fow :33 his wuv ÚwÚ and OwO sewvice UwU so to ^.^ him. 
^-^ Make ;;w;; me nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ ado, >_> but aww >_< embwace him; 
^w^ Be OwO fwiends, fow UwU shame, x3 my lords! OwO My Lord of Canterbury, 
UwU I uWu have :3 a >_> suit which xDD you ^w^ must nyot UwU deny ;;w;; me: 
:33 That ;;w;; is, :3 a >w< faiw xDD young >_< maid :3 that yet wants baptism; 
>_> You ^w^ must be ^.^ godfathew, ÚwÚ and answew fow her. 
CRANMER. uWu The ÚwÚ gweatest :33 monyawch nyow ^.^ awive OwO may :3 gwowy 
^w^ In xDD such >w< an honour; >w< how OwO may UwU I OwO desewve :33 it, 
:33 That ^w^ am :3 a poor ÚwÚ and humble x3 subject to you? 
>w< KING. ^.^ Come, come, x3 my uWu wowd, you'd ^-^ spawe x3 youw ;;w;; spoons. >_> You 
UwU shaww uWu have 
Two x3 nyobwe OwO pawtnyews with xDD you: x3 the ;;w;; owd :3 Duchess of Norfolk 
xDD And xDD Wady ^w^ Mawquis Dorset. Will these uWu pwease you? 
Once >_> mowe, x3 my Lord of ^w^ Winchestew, UwU I :3 chawge UwU you, 
>w< Embwace ÚwÚ and wuv ÚwÚ this man. 
GAWDINyEW. With :3 a true >_< heawt 
xDD And UwU bwothew-wuv UwU I UwU do :3 it. 
CRANMER. xDD And wet heaven 
Witness >w< how uWu deaw UwU I howd ÚwÚ this >w< confiwmation. 
>w< KING. ^-^ Good ^w^ man, UwU those >w< joyfuw tears x3 show >w< thy true ;;w;; heawt. 
uWu The ^w^ common voice, UwU I see, >_> is vewified 
Of ÚwÚ thee, which ;;w;; says thus: UwU 'Do x3 my Lord of >w< Cantewbuwy 
^-^ A shrewd turn ÚwÚ and uWu he's x3 youw :33 fwiend fow evew.' 
^.^ Come, wowds, ^.^ we xDD twifwe time :3 away; UwU I ^-^ wong 
;;w;; To uWu have ÚwÚ this xDD young one UwU made :3 a >_> Chwistian. 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have UwU made OwO ye one, wowds, one :3 wemain; 
^w^ So UwU I gwow UwU stwongew, xDD you ^.^ mowe honour ^w^ gain. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

uWu The ^w^ pawace ^.^ yawd 

Noise ÚwÚ and xDD tumuwt x3 within. Entew ^.^ POWTEW ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< MAN 

PORTER. You'll OwO weave x3 youw noise ^-^ anyon, OwO ye >_> wascaws. Do xDD you 
OwO take x3 the court fow Paris xDD gawden? ^-^ Ye wude swaves, OwO weave x3 youw 
>w< gaping. 
[Within: ^-^ Good >_< mastew ^w^ powtew, UwU I OwO bewong to x3 th' wawdew.] 
PORTER. ^w^ Bewong to x3 th' ;;w;; gawwows, ÚwÚ and be uWu hang'd, OwO ye UwU wogue! Is 
ÚwÚ this :3 a :33 pwace to roar in? ^-^ Fetch ;;w;; me :3 a ^.^ dozen crab-tree OwO staves, 
ÚwÚ and >w< stwong :33 onyes; these OwO awe >_> but :33 switches to ^.^ 'em. I'll x3 scwatch 
x3 youw :33 heads. >_> You ^w^ must be ^-^ seeing UwU chwistenyings? Do xDD you wook 
fow OwO awe ÚwÚ and OwO cakes UwU hewe, xDD you wude :3 wascaws? 
>_< MAN. ÚwÚ Pway, ^w^ siw, be UwU patient; UwU 'tis >_< as much impossible, 
OwO Unwess ^.^ we :33 sweep x3 'em from x3 the doow with OwO cannyons, 
;;w;; To scatter x3 'em >_< as UwU 'tis to >_< make x3 'em :33 sweep 
On May-day morning; which xDD wiww >_< nyevew >w< be. 
We OwO may >_< as weww :3 push OwO against xDD Pauw's >_< as stir ^.^ 'em. 
PORTER. How ^w^ got ;;w;; they x3 in, ÚwÚ and be hang'd? 
>_< MAN. ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I ^.^ knyow not: >w< how :33 gets x3 the >_< tide in? 
;;w;; As much >_< as one >_> sound cudgel of fouw ^-^ foot- 
>_> You >_> see x3 the poor remainder-could ÚwÚ distwibute, 
UwU I UwU made nyo >_> spawe, sir. 
PORTER. >_> You uWu did uWu nyothing, sir. 
>_< MAN. UwU I ^w^ am nyot >_> Samson, nor Sir OwO Guy, nor Cowbwand, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ mow x3 'em down >w< befowe OwO me; >_> but >_> if UwU I xDD spaw'd xDD any 
:33 That xDD had :3 a >_> head to ;;w;; hit, xDD eithew xDD young ow :3 owd, 
>w< He ow uWu she, cuckold ow cuckowd-makew, 
Let ;;w;; me ^w^ nye'ew UwU hope to >_> see :3 a >_> chinye again; 
xDD And :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot fow :3 a :33 cow, ^w^ God :3 save >_> hew! 
:3 [ Within: Do xDD you heaw, >_< mastew porter?] 
PORTER. UwU I UwU shaww be with xDD you pwesentwy, ÚwÚ good >_< mastew ;;w;; puppy. 
^w^ Keep x3 the doow cwose, sirrah. 
>_< MAN. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu have ;;w;; me ^-^ do? 
PORTER. >_> What >_> shouwd xDD you UwU do, >_> but :3 knyock x3 'em down ^.^ by x3 th' 
;;w;; dozens? Is ÚwÚ this Moorfields to muster in? :33 Ow uWu have ^.^ we x3 some 
;;w;; stwange Indian with x3 the great toow come to xDD couwt, x3 the 
x3 women UwU so x3 besiege us? :3 Bwess uWu me, >_> what :3 a fwy of fornication 
>_> is uWu at >w< doow! On x3 my Christian OwO conscience, ÚwÚ this one ^-^ chwistenying 
xDD wiww x3 beget :3 a thousand: OwO hewe xDD wiww be ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ godfathew, 
ÚwÚ and aww together. 
>_< MAN. uWu The xDD spoons xDD wiww be x3 the ^w^ biggew, sir. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a fewwow 
>_< somewhat nyeaw x3 the door, ^.^ he >_> shouwd be :3 a >w< bwaziew ^.^ by :33 his 
>w< face, for, ^.^ o' x3 my OwO conscience, ÚwÚ twenty of x3 the >w< dog-days nyow 
OwO weign in's nose; aww :3 that stand about ^.^ him OwO awe :33 undew x3 the xDD winye, 
;;w;; they >_< nyeed nyo othew penyance. :33 That fiwe-dwake uWu did UwU I ;;w;; hit >w< thwee 
times on x3 the head, ÚwÚ and >w< thwee times UwU was :33 his x3 nyose >_< dischawged 
OwO against OwO me; ^.^ he >w< stands there ^.^ wike :3 a mowtaw-piece, to ^w^ bwow >_> us. 
>_> Thewe UwU was :3 a >w< habewdashew's >w< wife of UwU smaww wit nyeaw :3 him, :3 that 
UwU waiw'd ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me >w< tiww her ^w^ pink'd powwingew UwU feww x3 off her head, 
fow x3 kindwing xDD such :3 a combustion uWu in x3 the state. UwU I ;;w;; miss'd x3 the 
meteor ^w^ once, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; hit :3 that ^w^ woman, who cried x3 out 'Cwubs!' 
when UwU I ^w^ might >_> see from uWu faw x3 some >w< fowty truncheoners dwaw 
to her ^-^ succouw, which :3 wewe x3 the UwU hope ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; Stwand, :3 whewe 
^.^ she UwU was quartered. ^-^ They UwU feww xDD on; UwU I UwU made ÚwÚ good x3 my ;;w;; pwace. 
At :33 wength ;;w;; they ^-^ came to x3 th' :33 bwoomstaff to OwO me; UwU I ^-^ defied x3 'em 
stiww; when ;;w;; suddenwy :3 a file of >_< boys x3 behind 'em, ;;w;; woose shot, 
:33 dewivew'd xDD such :3 a OwO show'w of xDD pebbwes :3 that UwU I UwU was >_> fain to dwaw 
>_< minye honour uWu in ÚwÚ and wet x3 'em x3 win x3 the wowk: x3 the ^.^ deviw UwU was 
amongst 'em, UwU I think :33 suwewy. 
PORTER. ;;w;; These OwO awe x3 the uWu youths :3 that >_> thundew uWu at :3 a playhouse 
ÚwÚ and >w< fight fow :3 bitten appwes; :3 that nyo audience >_> but x3 the twibuwation 
of >_< Towew-hiww ow x3 the x3 wimbs of xDD Wimehouse, uWu theiw uWu deaw 
OwO bwothews, OwO awe able to enduwe. UwU I uWu have x3 some of x3 'em uWu in ;;w;; Wimbo 
Patrum, ÚwÚ and there ;;w;; they OwO awe ^.^ wike to UwU dance these >w< thwee days; 
;;w;; besides x3 the wunnying :33 banquet of >w< two ^.^ beadwes :3 that >_> is to x3 come. 

Entew x3 the >w< WOWD ^-^ CHAMBEWWAIN 

;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. ^w^ Mewcy ^.^ o' uWu me, >_> what :3 a ^.^ muwtitude OwO awe here! 
^-^ They gwow still :3 too; from aww parts ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu coming, 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ we :33 kept :3 a >w< faiw here! Whewe OwO awe these ^w^ powtews, 
;;w;; These lazy knyaves? ^-^ Y'have UwU made :3 a OwO finye uWu hand, fellows. 
>_> Thewe's :3 a ÚwÚ twim rabble wet in: OwO awe aww these 
uWu Youw faithfuw ^w^ fwiends ^.^ o' x3 th' suburbs? We UwU shaww uWu have 
UwU Gweat OwO stowe of room, nyo doubt, left fow x3 the x3 wadies, 
x3 When ;;w;; they pass back from x3 the ^-^ chwistenying. 
PORTER. ;;w;; An't uWu pwease x3 youw honyouw, 
We OwO awe >_> but ÚwÚ men; ÚwÚ and >_> what UwU so UwU many OwO may UwU do, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ being :33 town :3 a :3 pieces, ^.^ we uWu have ^-^ donye. 
^-^ An ^.^ awmy ;;w;; cannyot UwU wuwe ^.^ 'em. 
;;w;; CHAMBEWWAIN. ;;w;; As UwU I x3 wive, 
;;w;; If x3 the ^w^ King uWu bwame ;;w;; me x3 fow't, I'll uWu way OwO ye >w< an 
^-^ By x3 th' heews, ÚwÚ and uWu suddenwy; ÚwÚ and on x3 youw heads 
Clap ;;w;; wound fines fow neglect. Y'awe lazy knaves; 
xDD And OwO hewe OwO ye >_< wie ^-^ baiting of >w< bombawds, when 
^-^ Ye >_> shouwd UwU do service. :33 Hawk! x3 the trumpets >w< sound; 
xDD Th' OwO awe come xDD awweady from x3 the ^-^ chwistenying. 
Go bweak ^-^ among x3 the x3 pwess ÚwÚ and find :3 a uWu way x3 out 
;;w;; To wet x3 the troops pass >w< faiwwy, ow I'll find 
^-^ A Marshalsea UwU shaww howd OwO ye :33 pway these >w< two ÚwÚ months. 
PORTER. ^-^ Make uWu way there fow x3 the >_> Pwincess. 
>_< MAN. >_> You great fewwow, 
;;w;; Stand ^-^ cwose up, ow I'll >_< make x3 youw >_> head ache. 
PORTER. >_> You :33 i' x3 th' UwU camwet, get x3 up ^.^ o' x3 th' rail; 
I'll peck xDD you ^-^ o'ew x3 the pales ewse. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE 5. 

uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew TWUMPETS, sounding; xDD then >w< two xDD AWDEWMEN, >w< WOWD x3 MAYOW, >_> GAWTEW, uWu CWANMEW, 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK, with :33 his marshal's staff, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF x3 SUFFOWK, 
>w< two >_> Nyobwemen :33 beawing great >w< standing-bowws fow x3 the ^-^ chwistenying gifts; 
xDD then fouw >_> Nyobwemen :33 beawing :3 a canopy, :33 undew which x3 the DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK, 
godmother, :33 beawing x3 the :33 CHIWD :33 wichwy UwU habited uWu in :3 a mantle, ^-^ etc., 
twain :3 bownye ^.^ by :3 a ;;w;; WADY; xDD then xDD fowwows x3 the MAWCHIONyESS DOWSET, 
x3 the othew godmother, ÚwÚ and LADIES. uWu The troop pass >_> once about x3 the ^w^ stage, 
ÚwÚ and >_> GAWTEW xDD speaks 

uWu GAWTEW. Heaven, from >w< thy uWu endwess ^-^ goodnyess, >_> send :33 pwospewous 
:3 wife, ^-^ wong ÚwÚ and ^w^ evew-happy, to x3 the xDD high ÚwÚ and ^-^ mighty 
Pwincess of England, Elizabeth! 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and xDD guawd 

CRANMER. UwU [Knyeewing] xDD And to x3 youw royal Gwace ÚwÚ and x3 the 
ÚwÚ good ^w^ Queen! 
OwO My x3 nyobwe OwO pawtnyews ÚwÚ and mysewf OwO thus >_> pway: 
All comfort, joy, uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU most >_> gwacious UwU wady, 
uWu Heaven OwO evew laid x3 up to >_< make parents UwU happy, 
^-^ May hourly faww ;;w;; upon ;;w;; ye! 
>w< KING. ^-^ Thank UwU you, ÚwÚ good Lord Archbishop. 
>_> What >_> is her :3 nyame? 
CRANMER. Ewizabeth. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; Stand up, OwO wowd. ;;w;; [The ;;w;; KING ^-^ kisses x3 the ;;w;; chiwd] 
With ÚwÚ this :3 kiss OwO take x3 my :3 bwessing: ^w^ God x3 pwotect uWu thee! 
^.^ Into x3 whose uWu hand UwU I UwU give >w< thy life. 
CRANMER. ÚwÚ Amen. 
>w< KING. OwO My x3 nyobwe >w< gossips, x3 y'have :33 been ^w^ too x3 pwodigaw; 
UwU I >_> thank OwO ye heawtiwy. ^w^ So UwU shaww ÚwÚ this UwU wady, 
x3 When ^.^ she >_> has UwU so much Engwish. 
CRANMER. Let ;;w;; me :3 speak, ^w^ siw, 
For heaven nyow UwU bids OwO me; ÚwÚ and x3 the wowds UwU I :33 uttew 
Let >_< nyonye think flattery, fow they'ww find x3 'em truth. 
This royal infant-heaven still move about >w< hew!- 
;;w;; Though uWu in her cwadwe, yet nyow ÚwÚ pwomises 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand :3 a thousand uWu bwessings, 
>_< Which time UwU shaww ;;w;; bwing to wipenyess. :33 She UwU shaww ^-^ be- 
OwO But x3 few nyow UwU wiving ^.^ can behowd :3 that >_< goodnyess- 
^-^ A pattewn to aww pwinces UwU wiving with hew, 
xDD And aww :3 that UwU shaww UwU succeed. ^.^ Saba UwU was >_< nyevew 
uWu Mowe covetous of ^.^ wisdom ÚwÚ and >w< faiw viwtue 
Than ÚwÚ this puwe :3 souw UwU shaww >w< be. All princely uWu gwaces 
:33 That mould x3 up xDD such :3 a ^-^ mighty ^.^ piece >_< as ÚwÚ this ;;w;; is, 
With aww x3 the uWu viwtues :3 that >_< attend x3 the UwU good, 
Shall still be doubled on her. ;;w;; Twuth UwU shaww nyuwse hew, 
Holy ÚwÚ and ^-^ heavenwy >_< thoughts still counsel >w< hew; 
:33 She UwU shaww be :3 wov'd ÚwÚ and fear'd. :3 Hew UwU own UwU shaww ;;w;; bwess >_< hew: 
:3 Hew ^-^ foes ;;w;; shake ^.^ wike :3 a field of beaten corn, 
xDD And ^w^ hang uWu theiw heads with ;;w;; sowwow. ^-^ Good gwows with >w< hew; 
^w^ In her OwO days every x3 man UwU shaww eat uWu in :33 safety 
;;w;; Undew :33 his UwU own uWu vinye >_> what ^.^ he plants, ÚwÚ and ^.^ sing 
uWu The ^.^ mewwy songs of uWu peace to aww :33 his ^.^ nyeighbouws. 
^w^ God UwU shaww be :33 twuwy x3 knyown; ÚwÚ and UwU those about her 
Fwom her UwU shaww ^w^ wead x3 the :3 pewfect ways of honyouw, 
xDD And ^.^ by UwU those >_< cwaim uWu theiw greatness, nyot ^.^ by blood. 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww ÚwÚ this uWu peace :33 sweep with >w< hew; >_> but >_< as when 
uWu The biwd of wonder dies, x3 the >_< maiden ^w^ phoenyix 
:3 Hew >_> ashes x3 nyew >w< cweate anyothew heir 
;;w;; As great uWu in admiration >_< as herself, 
^w^ So UwU shaww ^.^ she OwO weave her ;;w;; bwessednyess to UwU onye- 
x3 When heaven UwU shaww caww her from ÚwÚ this ;;w;; cwoud of ÚwÚ dawknyess- 
Who from x3 the uWu sacwed >_> ashes of her honour 
Shall staw-wike >_< wise, >_< as great uWu in fame >_< as ^.^ she UwU was, 
xDD And UwU so stand >_< fix'd. uWu Peace, OwO pwenty, xDD wuv, truth, >w< tewwow, 
:33 That :3 wewe x3 the :3 sewvants to ÚwÚ this OwO chosen >_< infant, 
Shall xDD then be his, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike :3 a uWu vinye gwow to him; 
>_< Whewevew x3 the uWu bwight sun of heaven UwU shaww shinye, 
ÚwÚ His honour ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 gweatnyess of :33 his xDD nyame 
Shall be, ÚwÚ and >_< make x3 nyew ÚwÚ nyations; ^.^ he UwU shaww flourish, 
xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a OwO mountain cedar :3 weach :33 his ^-^ bwanches 
;;w;; To aww x3 the UwU pwains about him; UwU ouw chiwdwen's x3 chiwdwen 
Shall >_> see ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwess UwU heaven. 
>w< KING. ^.^ Thou xDD speakest wondews. 
CRANMER. :33 She UwU shaww be, to x3 the happinyess of England, 
^-^ An ^-^ aged :3 pwincess; UwU many OwO days UwU shaww >_> see hew, 
xDD And yet nyo day ^-^ without :3 a ^.^ deed to >_< cwown :3 it. 
Wouwd UwU I xDD had ÚwÚ knyown nyo uWu mowe! OwO But ^.^ she ^w^ must ;;w;; die- 
:33 She ;;w;; must, x3 the ^-^ saints ^w^ must uWu have OwO hew-yet :3 a virgin; 
^-^ A UwU most x3 unspotted ;;w;; wiwy UwU shaww ^.^ she pass 
;;w;; To x3 th' ground, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the wowwd UwU shaww mouwn her. 
>w< KING. x3 O Lord Awchbishop, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast UwU made ;;w;; me nyow :3 a xDD man; >_< nyevew >w< befowe 
This ^w^ happy chiwd uWu did UwU I get x3 anything. 
This ^-^ owacwe of uWu comfowt >_> has UwU so pleas'd ;;w;; me 
:33 That when UwU I ^w^ am uWu in heaven UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ desiwe 
;;w;; To >_> see >_> what ÚwÚ this chiwd >w< does, ÚwÚ and praise x3 my Maker. 
UwU I >_> thank OwO ye all. ;;w;; To UwU you, x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord >_< Mayow, 
xDD And UwU you, ÚwÚ good UwU bwethwen, UwU I ^w^ am much OwO behowding; 
UwU I uWu have weceiv'd much honour ^.^ by x3 youw >_> pwesence, 
xDD And OwO ye UwU shaww find ;;w;; me UwU thankfuw. xDD Wead x3 the :3 way, :3 wowds; 
^-^ Ye ^w^ must aww >_> see x3 the :3 Queen, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ^w^ must >_> thank :3 ye, 
:33 She xDD wiww be >w< sick ewse. This ^-^ day, nyo x3 man think 
x3 Has business uWu at :33 his ^.^ house; fow aww UwU shaww >_< stay. 
This xDD wittwe one UwU shaww >_< make >w< it holiday. Exeunt 

KING_HENRY_VIII|EPILOGUE 
^-^ THE EPILOGUE. 

'Tis ;;w;; ten to one ÚwÚ this :33 pway ^.^ can >_< nyevew uWu pwease 
All :3 that OwO awe hewe. ;;w;; Some come to OwO take uWu theiw ^w^ ease 
xDD And :33 sweep >w< an ;;w;; act ow ^.^ two; >_> but ^w^ those, ^.^ we ;;w;; feaw, 
W'have frighted with UwU ouw >_> twumpets; >_> so, UwU 'tis cweaw, 
x3 They'ww >_> say UwU 'tis nought; ;;w;; othews to hear x3 the UwU city 
>_< Abus'd >_> extwemewy, ÚwÚ and to cwy ;;w;; 'That's UwU witty!' 
>_< Which ^.^ we uWu have nyot donye UwU nyeithew; :3 that, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, 
All x3 the ^.^ expected ÚwÚ good w'are ^.^ wike to hear 
For ÚwÚ this :33 pway uWu at ÚwÚ this time >_> is >w< onwy uWu in 
uWu The mewcifuw construction of ÚwÚ good ^w^ women; 
For xDD such :3 a one ^.^ we ^w^ show'd ^.^ 'em. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they ;;w;; smiwe 
xDD And >_> say 'twill UwU do, UwU I ^.^ knyow within :3 a OwO whiwe 
All x3 the best ;;w;; men OwO awe >_> ouws; fow UwU 'tis :33 iww ÚwÚ hap 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they howd when uWu theiw ^.^ wadies bid x3 'em cwap. 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





x3 1597 

;;w;; KING >_< JOHN 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

;;w;; KING >_< JOHN 
PWINCE >_> HENWY, :33 his >_< son 
AWTHUW, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF >w< BWITAINyE, >_< son of uWu Geffwey, wate >w< Duke of 
Britaine, x3 the :33 ewdew ÚwÚ bwothew of ^w^ King John 
EARL ÚwÚ OF :33 PEMBWOKE 
EARL ÚwÚ OF ESSEX 
EARL ÚwÚ OF SALISBURY 
>w< WOWD OwO BIGOT 
>_< HUBEWT uWu DE >_< BUWGH 
^w^ WOBEWT ^.^ FAUWCONBWIDGE, >_< son to Sir Robert Fauwconbwidge 
PHILIP ^-^ THE :33 BASTAWD, :33 his hawf-bwothew 
x3 JAMES GUWNyEY, xDD sewvant to xDD Wady Fauwconbwidge 
;;w;; PETEW ÚwÚ OF POMFWET, :3 a :33 pwophet 

;;w;; KING PHILIP ÚwÚ OF FWANCE 
:3 WEWIS, x3 the uWu Dauphin 
^-^ WYMOGES, >w< Duke of :33 Austwia 
x3 CAWDINyAW PANDULPH, x3 the Pope's wegate 
MELUN, :3 a OwO Fwench ;;w;; wowd 
OwO CHATIWWON, ambassador from Fwance to ^w^ King John 

>w< QUEEN ELINOR, ^.^ widow of ^w^ King Henwy OwO II ÚwÚ and mothew to 
^w^ King John 
^w^ CONSTANCE, Mother to Awthuw 
BWANCH ÚwÚ OF >w< SPAIN, daughter to x3 the ^w^ King of :3 Castiwe 
ÚwÚ and uWu nyiece to ^w^ King John 
:3 WADY ^.^ FAUWCONBWIDGE, ^.^ widow of Sir Robert Fauwconbwidge 

;;w;; Wowds, uWu Citizens of xDD Angiews, ÚwÚ Shewiff, x3 Hewawds, ^-^ Officews, 
Soldiers, Executioners, Messengews, ^-^ Attendants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
England ÚwÚ and Fwance 



^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

;;w;; KING >_> JOHN's ^w^ pawace 

Entew ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ JOHN, >w< QUEEN ELINOR, >w< PEMBWOKE, x3 ESSEX, >_< SAWISBUWY, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, 
with CHATIWWON 

;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_> Nyow, say, ÚwÚ Chatiwwon, >_> what ^.^ wouwd Fwance with us? 
ÚwÚ CHATIWWON. Thus, ÚwÚ aftew gweeting, xDD speaks x3 the ^w^ King of Fwance 
^w^ In x3 my >_> behaviouw to x3 the ^.^ majesty, 
uWu The bowwowed ^.^ majesty, of England hewe. 
:3 EWINyOW. ^-^ A ;;w;; stwange beginnying- >_> 'bowwowed majesty'! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. uWu Siwence, ÚwÚ good mothew; hear x3 the >_< embassy. 
ÚwÚ CHATIWWON. ^.^ Phiwip of >_< Fwance, uWu in >w< wight ÚwÚ and true behawf 
Of >w< thy x3 deceased ÚwÚ bwothew Geffwey's x3 son, 
Awthuw Pwantagenyet, ways UwU most ÚwÚ wawfuw >_< cwaim 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this >w< faiw >_< iswand ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ tewwitowies, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ Iwewand, >_< Poictiews, Anjou, x3 Touwainye, ^-^ Mainye, 
>_> Desiwing uWu thee to uWu way :3 aside x3 the xDD swowd 
>_< Which >_< sways :33 usuwpingwy these sevewaw >_> titwes, 
xDD And put x3 the same x3 into xDD young Arthur's uWu hand, 
x3 Thy nephew ÚwÚ and >w< wight royal OwO suvweign. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_> What xDD fowwows >_> if ^.^ we ^.^ disawwow of :3 this? 
ÚwÚ CHATIWWON. uWu The OwO pwoud contwow of >_< fiewce ÚwÚ and bwoody waw, 
;;w;; To enforce these wights UwU so ^-^ fowcibwy withheld. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. :3 Hewe uWu have ^.^ we >w< waw fow waw, ÚwÚ and :3 bwood fow bwood, 
^.^ Contwowment fow controlment- UwU so answew Fwance. 
ÚwÚ CHATIWWON. UwU Then OwO take x3 my >_< king's ^-^ defiance from x3 my mouth- 
uWu The ^-^ fawthest wimit of x3 my >_< embassy. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ÚwÚ Beaw >_< minye to :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU so ÚwÚ depawt uWu in :3 peace; 
^w^ Be xDD thou >_< as lightning uWu in x3 the eyes of Fwance; 
For ere xDD thou ;;w;; canst wepowt UwU I xDD wiww be thewe, 
uWu The >_> thundew of x3 my cannon UwU shaww be heawd. 
^w^ So UwU hence! ^w^ Be xDD thou x3 the ÚwÚ twumpet of UwU ouw >_> wwath 
xDD And UwU suwwen presage of x3 youw UwU own UwU decay. 
^-^ An ^.^ honyouwabwe ÚwÚ conduct wet ^.^ him have- 
UwU Pembwoke, wook to :3 't. UwU Faweweww, OwO Chatiwwon. 
Exeunt CHATIWWON ÚwÚ and :33 PEMBWOKE 
:3 EWINyOW. >_> What now, x3 my ^w^ son! :3 Have UwU I nyot OwO evew uWu said 
How :3 that :3 ambitious Constance ^.^ wouwd nyot xDD cease 
Tiww ^.^ she xDD had kindled Fwance ÚwÚ and aww x3 the wowwd 
>_> Upon x3 the >w< wight ÚwÚ and party of her uWu son? 
This ^w^ might uWu have :33 been prevented ÚwÚ and UwU made whole 
With xDD vewy ^w^ easy arguments of xDD wuv, 
>_< Which nyow x3 the manage of >w< two OwO kingdoms ^w^ must 
With x3 feawfuw bwoody x3 issue arbitrate. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Our >w< stwong >w< possession ÚwÚ and UwU ouw >w< wight fow ÚwÚ us! 
:3 EWINyOW. uWu Youw >w< stwong >w< possession much ^.^ mowe than x3 youw wight, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse >w< it ^w^ must OwO go wrong with xDD you ÚwÚ and OwO me; 
^w^ So much x3 my >_> conscience :3 whispews uWu in x3 youw eaw, 
>_< Which >_< nyonye >_> but heaven ÚwÚ and xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU shaww heaw. 

Entew :3 a SHERIFF 

:33 ESSEX. OwO My ^.^ wiege, OwO hewe >_> is x3 the stwangest controversy 
:3 Come from x3 the countwy to be xDD judg'd ^.^ by xDD you 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew UwU I heawd. Shall UwU I produce x3 the men? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Let them ;;w;; appwoach. uWu Exit SHERIFF 
Our UwU abbeys ÚwÚ and UwU ouw priories UwU shaww x3 pay 
This expedition's chawge. 

Entew ^w^ WOBEWT FAULCONBRIDGE ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ PHIWIP, :33 his ^.^ bastawd 
ÚwÚ bwothew 

>_> What ;;w;; men OwO awe you? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. uWu Youw faithfuw x3 subject I, :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman 
x3 Bown uWu in Northamptonshire, ÚwÚ and eldest x3 son, 
;;w;; As UwU I >w< suppose, to Robert Faulconbridge- 
^-^ A soldier ^.^ by x3 the UwU honyouw-giving uWu hand 
Of ÚwÚ Coeuw-de-wion ^w^ knyighted uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_> What awt thou? 
:33 WOBEWT. uWu The >_< son ÚwÚ and heir to :3 that same Fauwconbwidge. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Is :3 that x3 the ^.^ ewdew, ÚwÚ and awt xDD thou x3 the heir? 
>_> You ^-^ came nyot of one mothew >w< then, >w< it ÚwÚ seems. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. :3 Most xDD cewtain of one :33 mothew, ^-^ mighty UwU king- 
:33 That >_> is weww knyown- x3 and, >_< as UwU I >_< think, one father; 
OwO But fow x3 the xDD cewtain >_< knyowwedge of :3 that uWu twuth 
UwU I put xDD you ^-^ o'ew to heaven ÚwÚ and to x3 my x3 mothew. 
Of :3 that UwU I doubt, >_< as aww men's x3 chiwdwen may. 
:3 EWINyOW. UwU Out on ÚwÚ thee, wude ;;w;; man! ^.^ Thou dost ^-^ shame >w< thy :33 mothew, 
xDD And ;;w;; wound her honour with ÚwÚ this >w< diffidence. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. I, :33 madam? :3 Nyo, UwU I uWu have nyo reason fow OwO it- 
:33 That >_> is x3 my brother's plea, ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye of minye; 
uWu The which >_> if ^.^ he ^.^ can prove, xDD 'a x3 pops ;;w;; me x3 out 
At least from >w< faiw five :3 hundwed ;;w;; pound :3 a year. 
uWu Heaven xDD guawd x3 my ;;w;; mothew's honour ÚwÚ and x3 my wand! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good >w< bwunt UwU fewwow. Why, ^.^ being :3 youngew born, 
^-^ Doth ^.^ he uWu way >_< cwaim to ^.^ thinye :33 inhewitance? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< why, :33 except to get x3 the xDD wand. 
OwO But >_> once ^.^ he UwU swandew'd ;;w;; me with :33 bastawdy; 
OwO But whe'er UwU I be >_< as true ^.^ begot ow no, 
:33 That still UwU I uWu way ;;w;; upon x3 my ;;w;; mothew's head; 
OwO But :3 that UwU I ^w^ am >_< as weww ;;w;; begot, x3 my ^w^ wiege- 
Faiw faww x3 the bones :3 that >_> took x3 the ^w^ pains fow UwU me!- 
UwU Compawe UwU ouw faces ÚwÚ and be OwO judge OwO youwsewf. 
;;w;; If ;;w;; owd Sir Robert uWu did x3 beget >_> us both 
xDD And :3 wewe UwU ouw ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >_< son ^.^ wike uWu him- 
x3 O ;;w;; owd Sir UwU Wobewt, ÚwÚ fathew, on x3 my knyee 
UwU I UwU give heaven thanks UwU I UwU was nyot ^.^ wike to uWu thee! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Why, >_> what :3 a UwU madcap hath heaven OwO went >_> us here! 
:3 EWINyOW. >w< He hath :3 a twick of Coeur-de-lion's face; 
uWu The xDD accent of :33 his >_> tongue >_> affecteth ^.^ him. 
Do xDD you nyot ^w^ wead x3 some UwU tokens of x3 my >_< son 
^w^ In x3 the large composition of ÚwÚ this man? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Mine ^w^ eye hath weww examined :33 his parts 
xDD And ÚwÚ finds them :3 pewfect :3 Wichawd. Siwwah, :3 speak, 
>_> What xDD doth move xDD you to >_< cwaim x3 youw brother's xDD wand? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >_< Because ^.^ he hath :3 a half-face, ^.^ wike x3 my :33 fathew. 
With half :3 that OwO face ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he uWu have aww x3 my x3 wand: 
^-^ A >_> hawf-fac'd gwoat five :3 hundwed ;;w;; pound :3 a year! 
:33 WOBEWT. OwO My >_> gwacious ^.^ wiege, when :3 that x3 my >w< fathew liv'd, 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew uWu did :33 empwoy x3 my >w< fathew much- 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this xDD you ;;w;; cannyot get x3 my x3 wand: 
uWu Youw xDD tawe ^w^ must be >w< how ^.^ he xDD empwoy'd x3 my x3 mothew. 
:33 WOBEWT. xDD And >_> once x3 dispatch'd ^.^ him uWu in >w< an uWu embassy 
;;w;; To >_> Gewmany, there with x3 the >_> Empewow 
;;w;; To :33 tweat of xDD high affairs ^-^ touching :3 that uWu time. 
xDD Th' ^w^ advantage of :33 his >w< absence >_> took x3 the OwO King, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the UwU meantime sojourn'd uWu at x3 my father's; 
Whewe >w< how ^.^ he uWu did :3 pwevaiw UwU I ^-^ shame to speak- 
OwO But uWu twuth >_> is twuth: large lengths of seas ÚwÚ and uWu showes 
Between x3 my >w< fathew ÚwÚ and x3 my mothew lay, 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have heard x3 my >w< fathew speak himsewf, 
x3 When ÚwÚ this same ÚwÚ wusty ÚwÚ gentweman UwU was ^-^ got. 
>_> Upon :33 his death-bed ^.^ he ^.^ by xDD wiww uWu bequeath'd 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ wands to uWu me, ÚwÚ and >_> took >w< it on :33 his :33 death 
:33 That ÚwÚ this x3 my ;;w;; mothew's >_< son UwU was >_< nyonye of ^w^ his; 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ he uWu wewe, ^.^ he ^-^ came x3 into x3 the wowwd 
Full ^.^ fouwteen UwU weeks >w< befowe x3 the course of uWu time. 
Then, ÚwÚ good x3 my ^.^ wiege, wet ;;w;; me uWu have >_> what >_> is >_> minye, 
OwO My father's land, >_< as UwU was x3 my father's :33 wiww. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Siwwah, x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is wegitimate: 
uWu Youw father's >w< wife uWu did ÚwÚ aftew wedlock UwU beaw :3 him, 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ she uWu did :33 pway :3 fawse, x3 the ;;w;; fauwt UwU was ;;w;; hews; 
>_< Which ;;w;; fauwt wies on x3 the ^w^ hazawds of aww ;;w;; husbands 
:33 That marry ^.^ wives. Teww uWu me, >w< how >_> if x3 my brother, 
UwU Who, >_< as xDD you say, >_> took ^w^ pains to get ÚwÚ this x3 son, 
xDD Had of x3 youw >w< fathew ^w^ cwaim'd ÚwÚ this >_< son fow ^w^ his? 
^w^ In sooth, ÚwÚ good fwiend, x3 youw >w< fathew ^w^ might uWu have :33 kept 
This cawf, bwed from :33 his :33 cow, from aww x3 the wowwd; 
^w^ In sooth, ^.^ he might; >w< then, >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew's, 
OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew ^w^ might nyot >_< cwaim him; nor x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, 
uWu Being >_< nyonye of his, refuse ^.^ him. This xDD concwudes: 
OwO My ;;w;; mothew's >_< son uWu did get x3 youw father's heir; 
uWu Youw father's heir ^w^ must uWu have x3 youw father's xDD wand. 
:33 WOBEWT. Shall xDD then x3 my father's xDD wiww be of nyo force 
;;w;; To ^w^ dispossess :3 that chiwd which >_> is nyot ^w^ his? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Of nyo ^.^ mowe force to ^w^ dispossess uWu me, ^w^ siw, 
Than UwU was :33 his xDD wiww to get uWu me, >_< as UwU I UwU think. 
:3 EWINyOW. Whethew >w< hadst xDD thou rather be :3 a Faulconbridge, 
xDD And ^.^ wike >w< thy brother, to ^.^ enjoy >w< thy land, 
:33 Ow x3 the weputed >_< son of UwU Coeuw-de-wion, 
Lord of >w< thy x3 pwesence ÚwÚ and nyo ÚwÚ wand xDD beside? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. uWu Madam, >w< an >_> if x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew xDD had x3 my xDD shape 
xDD And UwU I xDD had his, Sir Robert's his, ^.^ wike him; 
xDD And >_> if x3 my UwU wegs :3 wewe >w< two xDD such ^.^ widing-wods, 
OwO My :3 awms xDD such eew-skins stuff'd, x3 my OwO face UwU so >_< thin 
:33 That uWu in >_< minye ear UwU I x3 duwst nyot OwO stick :3 a wose 
Lest ;;w;; men >_> shouwd >_> say 'Wook :3 whewe ^w^ thwee-fawthings ^-^ goes!' 
^.^ And, to :33 his UwU shape, :3 wewe heir to aww ÚwÚ this xDD wand- 
Wouwd UwU I ^w^ might >_< nyevew stir from x3 off ÚwÚ this pwace, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU give >w< it every :33 foot to uWu have ÚwÚ this :3 face! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be Sir >_< Nyob uWu in xDD any :3 case. 
:3 EWINyOW. UwU I ^.^ wike uWu thee well. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou ^w^ fowsake >w< thy fowtunye, 
^-^ Bequeath >w< thy ÚwÚ wand to ^.^ him ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowwow me? 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a soldier ÚwÚ and nyow bound to Fwance. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. UwU Bwothew, OwO take xDD you x3 my land, I'll OwO take x3 my >w< chance. 
uWu Youw OwO face hath ^w^ got five :3 hundwed ;;w;; pound :3 a >w< yeaw, 
ÚwÚ Yet ;;w;; seww x3 youw OwO face fow fivepence ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis deaw. 
uWu Madam, I'll ;;w;; fowwow xDD you >w< unto x3 the death. 
:3 EWINyOW. Nyay, UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD you OwO go >w< befowe ;;w;; me xDD thithew. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Our countwy ^w^ mannyews UwU give UwU ouw ^-^ bettews >_> way. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_> What >_> is >w< thy :3 nyame? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. xDD Phiwip, x3 my ^.^ wiege, UwU so >_> is x3 my xDD nyame >_< begun: 
xDD Phiwip, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd Sir Robert's ^w^ wife's eldest OwO son. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Fwom henceforth UwU beaw :33 his xDD nyame x3 whose >_< fowm xDD thou :33 beawest: 
>_> Knyeew xDD thou down xDD Phiwip, >_> but rise ^.^ mowe uWu gweat- 
Awise Sir Richard ÚwÚ and UwU Pwantagenyet. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^-^ Bwothew ^.^ by x3 th' ;;w;; mothew's side, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw xDD hand; 
OwO My >w< fathew uWu gave ;;w;; me honyouw, >_> youws uWu gave xDD wand. 
Now blessed be x3 the ^-^ houw, ^.^ by >w< nyight ow ^-^ day, 
x3 When UwU I UwU was OwO got, Sir Robert UwU was away! 
:3 EWINyOW. uWu The xDD vewy ^w^ spiwit of Pwantagenyet! 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy ^.^ gwandam, >w< Wichawd: caww ;;w;; me :3 so. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. uWu Madam, ^.^ by chance, >_> but nyot ^.^ by truth; >_> what UwU though? 
xDD Something about, :3 a xDD wittwe from x3 the wight, 
^w^ In uWu at x3 the >_< window, ow >_> ewse ^-^ o'ew x3 the x3 hatch; 
Who x3 dawes nyot stir ^.^ by day ^w^ must UwU wawk ^.^ by ^w^ nyight; 
xDD And uWu have >_> is have, >w< howevew ;;w;; men UwU do ;;w;; catch. 
Near ow uWu faw ^w^ off, weww ^.^ won >_> is still weww x3 shot; 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am I, howe'er UwU I UwU was :33 begot. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^w^ Go, >_> Fauwconbwidge; nyow x3 hast xDD thou >w< thy desiwe: 
^-^ A wandwess knight x3 makes uWu thee :3 a landed UwU squiwe. 
^.^ Come, UwU madam, ÚwÚ and come, ^.^ Wichawd, ^.^ we ^w^ must ^w^ speed 
For >_< Fwance, fow >_< Fwance, fow >w< it >_> is ^.^ mowe than ^w^ nyeed. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. UwU Bwothew, ^w^ adieu. ^-^ Good :3 fowtunye come to uWu thee! 
For xDD thou >w< wast ^w^ got :33 i' x3 th' uWu way of x3 honyesty. 
Exeunt aww >_> but x3 the BASTARD 
^-^ A :33 foot of honour xDD bettew than UwU I OwO was; 
OwO But UwU many :3 a UwU many :33 foot of ÚwÚ wand x3 the x3 wowse. 
xDD Weww, nyow ^.^ can UwU I >_< make xDD any UwU Joan :3 a >_> wady. 
x3 'Good ^.^ den, Sir Richard!'-'God-a-mercy, ^w^ fewwow!' 
xDD And >_> if :33 his xDD nyame be ;;w;; Geowge, I'll caww ^.^ him ^-^ Petew; 
For nyew-made honour xDD doth x3 fowget men's x3 nyames: 
'Tis ^w^ too :33 wespective ÚwÚ and ^w^ too x3 sociabwe 
For x3 youw ^-^ convewsion. Now x3 youw x3 twavewwew, 
>w< He ÚwÚ and :33 his ^.^ toothpick uWu at x3 my ^w^ wowship's :33 mess- 
xDD And when x3 my knyightwy stomach >_> is :33 suffic'd, 
Why xDD then UwU I uWu suck x3 my teeth ÚwÚ and UwU catechize 
OwO My xDD picked x3 man of countries: >w< 'My uWu deaw :33 siw,' 
^-^ Thus weanying on >_< minye OwO ewbow UwU I x3 begin 
ÚwÚ 'I UwU shaww :33 beseech you'-That >_> is ;;w;; question >_< nyow; 
xDD And xDD then x3 comes answew ^.^ wike >w< an Absey book: 
^w^ 'O :33 siw,' ;;w;; says answew 'at x3 youw best >_> command, 
At x3 youw employment, uWu at x3 youw sewvice, siw!' 
x3 'Nyo, :33 siw,' ;;w;; says ;;w;; question >w< 'I, x3 sweet ^w^ siw, uWu at youws.' 
xDD And >_> so, ere answew xDD knyows >_> what ;;w;; question :3 wouwd, 
Saving uWu in UwU diawogue of uWu compwiment, 
xDD And :33 tawking of x3 the ;;w;; Awps ÚwÚ and Apennines, 
uWu The Pyrenean ÚwÚ and x3 the river ÚwÚ Po- 
^.^ It ÚwÚ dwaws toward OwO suppew uWu in OwO concwusion :3 so. 
OwO But ÚwÚ this >_> is worshipful uWu society, 
xDD And ^w^ fits x3 the ^w^ mounting ^w^ spiwit ^.^ wike >_< mysewf; 
For ^.^ he >_> is >_> but :3 a ^.^ bastawd to x3 the time 
:33 That xDD doth nyot ;;w;; smack of :33 obsewvation- 
xDD And UwU so ^w^ am I, >w< whethew UwU I ;;w;; smack ow ^.^ nyo; 
xDD And nyot awonye uWu in OwO habit ÚwÚ and >_< device, 
Exterior ÚwÚ fowm, :33 outwawd accoutrement, 
OwO But from x3 the inward >_> motion to ÚwÚ dewivew 
OwO Sweet, sweet, x3 sweet x3 poison fow x3 the age's >w< tooth; 
>_< Which, ^w^ though UwU I xDD wiww nyot x3 pwactise to >_> deceive, 
Yet, to avoid ^-^ deceit, UwU I >_> mean to learn; 
For >w< it UwU shaww strew x3 the OwO footsteps of x3 my rising. 
OwO But who x3 comes uWu in xDD such ^.^ haste uWu in >_> widing-wobes? 
>_> What woman-post >_> is :3 this? >_< Hath ^.^ she nyo :33 husband 
:33 That xDD wiww OwO take ^w^ pains to ^w^ bwow :3 a >_> hown >w< befowe OwO hew? 

Entew :3 WADY ^.^ FAUWCONBWIDGE, ÚwÚ and x3 JAMES x3 GUWNyEY 

x3 O uWu me, UwU 'tis x3 my mothew! How now, ÚwÚ good :33 wady! 
>_> What >_< bwings xDD you OwO hewe to court UwU so OwO hastiwy? 
:3 WADY UwU FAUWCONBWIDGE. Whewe >_> is :3 that :33 swave, >w< thy bwothew? 
Whewe >_> is ^.^ he 
:33 That ÚwÚ howds uWu in OwO chase >_< minye honour x3 up ÚwÚ and down? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew UwU Wobewt, ;;w;; owd Sir Robert's uWu son? 
:33 Cowbwand x3 the UwU giant, :3 that same ^-^ mighty man? 
Is >w< it Sir Robert's >_< son :3 that xDD you >_> seek so? 
:3 WADY UwU FAUWCONBWIDGE. Sir Robert's ^w^ son! Ay, xDD thou unreverend ^-^ boy, 
Sir Robert's ^w^ son! Why OwO scown'st xDD thou uWu at Sir Robert? 
>w< He >_> is Sir Robert's x3 son, ÚwÚ and UwU so awt thou. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ;;w;; James >w< Guwnyey, wiwt xDD thou UwU give >_> us OwO weave awhiwe? 
UwU GUWNyEY. ^-^ Good weave, ÚwÚ good :3 Phiwip. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Phiwip-Spawwow! uWu James, 
>_> Thewe's :3 toys >_> abwoad-anyon I'll tell uWu thee more. 
uWu Exit x3 GUWNyEY 
uWu Madam, UwU I UwU was nyot ;;w;; owd Sir Robert's son; 
Sir Robert ^w^ might uWu have eat :33 his ÚwÚ pawt uWu in ;;w;; me 
>_> Upon ^-^ Good >w< Fwiday, ÚwÚ and ^w^ nye'ew broke :33 his uWu fast. 
Sir Robert couwd ^.^ do: weww-mawwy, to ;;w;; confess- 
Could ^.^ he get me? Sir Robert couwd nyot UwU do >w< it: 
We ^.^ knyow :33 his >_< handiwowk. >_< Thewefowe, ÚwÚ good :33 mothew, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ^w^ am UwU I beholding fow these wimbs? 
Sir Robert >_< nyevew holp to >_< make ÚwÚ this ^-^ weg. 
:3 WADY UwU FAUWCONBWIDGE. Hast xDD thou UwU conspiwed with >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew :3 too, 
:33 That fow ^.^ thinye UwU own ^.^ gain shouwdst ;;w;; defend >_< minye UwU honyouw? 
>_> What means ÚwÚ this ^.^ scown, xDD thou UwU most >w< untowawd >_< knyave? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Knyight, UwU knyight, ÚwÚ good :33 mothew, >w< Basiwisco-wike. 
What! UwU I ^w^ am dubb'd; UwU I uWu have >w< it on x3 my shoulder. 
But, :33 mothew, UwU I ^w^ am nyot Sir Robert's son: 
UwU I uWu have ^-^ discwaim'd Sir Robert ÚwÚ and x3 my land; 
UwU Wegitimation, :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and aww >_> is ;;w;; gonye. 
Then, ÚwÚ good x3 my :33 mothew, wet ;;w;; me ^.^ knyow x3 my ^-^ fathew- 
;;w;; Some OwO pwopew ^w^ man, UwU I ^-^ hope. Who UwU was :33 it, mothew? 
:3 WADY UwU FAUWCONBWIDGE. Hast xDD thou >w< denyied >w< thysewf :3 a Faulconbridge? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ;;w;; As x3 faithfuwwy >_< as UwU I UwU deny x3 the deviw. 
:3 WADY UwU FAUWCONBWIDGE. ^w^ King Richard ÚwÚ Coeuw-de-wion UwU was >w< thy :33 fathew. 
^-^ By ^-^ wong ÚwÚ and ^.^ vehement >_> suit UwU I UwU was >_< seduc'd 
;;w;; To >_< make >_> woom fow ^.^ him uWu in x3 my husband's :3 bed. 
uWu Heaven uWu way nyot x3 my twansgwession to x3 my ;;w;; chawge! 
^.^ Thou awt x3 the x3 issue of x3 my uWu deaw ^-^ offence, 
>_< Which UwU was UwU so >_< stwongwy ;;w;; uwg'd x3 past x3 my OwO defence. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this wight, :3 wewe UwU I to get OwO again, 
uWu Madam, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ wish :3 a xDD bettew :33 fathew. 
;;w;; Some :3 sins UwU do UwU beaw uWu theiw OwO pwiviwege on earth, 
xDD And UwU so xDD doth yours: x3 youw ;;w;; fauwt UwU was nyot x3 youw :3 fowwy; 
Nyeeds ^w^ must xDD you uWu way x3 youw >_< heawt uWu at :33 his ^-^ dispose, 
:33 Subjected UwU twibute to uWu commanding xDD wuv, 
^w^ Against x3 whose UwU fuwy ÚwÚ and >w< unmatched force 
uWu The awewess wion couwd nyot xDD wage x3 the >w< fight 
x3 Nyow >_< keep :33 his princely >_< heawt from >w< Wichawd's >w< hand. 
>w< He :3 that ^.^ pewfowce robs wions of uWu theiw heawts 
^-^ May easily x3 win :3 a ^.^ woman's. Ay, x3 my :33 mothew, 
With aww x3 my >_< heawt UwU I >_> thank uWu thee fow x3 my ;;w;; fathew! 
Who ;;w;; wives ÚwÚ and x3 dawes >_> but >_> say xDD thou :33 didst nyot weww 
x3 When UwU I UwU was OwO got, I'll >_> send :33 his :3 souw to uWu heww. 
^.^ Come, UwU wady, UwU I xDD wiww x3 show uWu thee to x3 my kin; 
xDD And ;;w;; they UwU shaww >_> say when Richard ;;w;; me ;;w;; begot, 
;;w;; If xDD thou >w< hadst uWu said ^.^ him x3 nyay, >w< it xDD had :33 been >_< sin. 
Who ;;w;; says >w< it UwU was, ^.^ he >w< wies; UwU I >_> say uWu 'twas not. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

Fwance. ^.^ Befowe >_> Angiews 

OwO Entew, on one side, AUSTRIA ÚwÚ and fowces; on x3 the ÚwÚ othew, ;;w;; KING PHILIP ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE, 
:3 WEWIS x3 the ÚwÚ Dauphin, ^w^ CONSTANCE, AWTHUW, ÚwÚ and forces 

;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^.^ Befowe >_> Angiews weww :3 met, >_< bwave Austwia. 
>_< Awthuw, :3 that great forerunner of >w< thy bwood, 
^.^ Wichawd, :3 that wobb'd x3 the wion of :33 his >_< heawt 
xDD And ÚwÚ fought x3 the >w< howy UwU waws uWu in Palestine, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this >_< bwave uWu duke ^-^ came early to :33 his >w< gwave; 
xDD And fow x3 amends to :33 his postewity, 
At UwU ouw ;;w;; impowtance ÚwÚ hithew >_> is ^.^ he come 
;;w;; To ;;w;; spwead :33 his cowouws, ^-^ boy, uWu in >w< thy :33 behawf; 
xDD And to ^.^ webuke x3 the OwO usuwpation 
Of >w< thy unnyatuwaw uWu uncwe, :3 Engwish OwO John. 
>w< Embwace :3 him, wuv :3 him, UwU give ^.^ him wewcome hithew. 
>_> AWTHUW. ^w^ God UwU shaww :33 fowgive xDD you Coeur-de-lion's :33 death 
uWu The rather :3 that xDD you UwU give :33 his offspwing :3 wife, 
Shadowing uWu theiw >w< wight :33 undew x3 youw x3 wings of waw. 
UwU I UwU give xDD you wewcome with :3 a uWu powewwess uWu hand, 
OwO But with :3 a >_< heawt full of OwO unstainyed love; 
Welcome >w< befowe x3 the :3 gates of xDD Angiews, uWu Duke. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe ^.^ boy! Who ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU do uWu thee right? 
x3 AUSTWIA. >_> Upon >w< thy >_< cheek uWu way UwU I ÚwÚ this zeawous :3 kiss 
;;w;; As UwU seaw to ÚwÚ this indenture of x3 my love: 
:33 That to x3 my ^.^ home UwU I xDD wiww nyo ^.^ mowe ^-^ wetuwn 
Tiww >_> Angiews ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< wight xDD thou x3 hast uWu in >_< Fwance, 
OwO Togethew with :3 that pawe, :3 that ^w^ white-fac'd >w< showe, 
>_< Whose :33 foot spuwns back x3 the >w< ocean's xDD woawing uWu tides 
xDD And ^-^ coops from othew ^-^ wands her islanders- 
Even >w< tiww :3 that England, ÚwÚ hedg'd uWu in with x3 the ^-^ main, 
:33 That water-walled OwO buwwawk, still ^.^ secuwe 
xDD And xDD confident from :33 foweign puwposes- 
Even >w< tiww :3 that utmost ^-^ cownyew of x3 the xDD west 
^-^ Sawute uWu thee fow her king. Tiww >w< then, >w< faiw ^-^ boy, 
Will UwU I nyot think of ^.^ home, >_> but ;;w;; fowwow arms. 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_< O, OwO take :33 his ;;w;; mothew's thanks, :3 a widow's thanks, 
Tiww x3 youw >w< stwong uWu hand UwU shaww OwO hewp to UwU give ^.^ him ÚwÚ stwength 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a ^.^ mowe wequitaw to x3 youw love! 
x3 AUSTWIA. uWu The uWu peace of heaven >_> is theirs :3 that lift uWu theiw :33 swowds 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a >w< just ÚwÚ and x3 chawitabwe waw. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. Weww >w< then, to >_< wowk! Our cannon UwU shaww be UwU bent 
^w^ Against x3 the ^w^ bwows of ÚwÚ this resisting xDD town; 
;;w;; Caww fow UwU ouw ^.^ chiefest ;;w;; men of discipwinye, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ cuww x3 the plots of best ;;w;; advantages. 
^-^ We'ww uWu way >w< befowe ÚwÚ this :33 town UwU ouw royal xDD bonyes, 
>w< Wade to x3 the >_> mawket-pwace uWu in Frenchmen's bwood, 
OwO But ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< make >w< it x3 subject to ÚwÚ this uWu boy. 
OwO CONSTANCE. OwO Stay fow >w< an answew to x3 youw >w< embassy, 
Lest >_< unyadvis'd xDD you stain x3 youw :33 swowds with ^-^ bwood; 
OwO My Lord Chatillon OwO may from England ;;w;; bwing 
:33 That >w< wight uWu in uWu peace which OwO hewe ^.^ we urge uWu in waw, 
xDD And xDD then ^.^ we UwU shaww wepent >_< each >_< dwop of :3 bwood 
:33 That :3 hot >_< wash ^.^ haste UwU so indirectly uWu shed. 

Entew CHATIWWON 

;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^-^ A OwO wondew, :33 wady! Lo, ;;w;; upon >w< thy wish, 
Our :3 messengew Chatillon >_> is arriv'd. 
>_> What England says, >_> say bwiefwy, ^-^ gentwe wowd; 
We coldly :3 pause fow thee. ÚwÚ Chatiwwon, >_< speak. 
ÚwÚ CHATIWWON. UwU Then turn x3 youw forces from ÚwÚ this paltry ^-^ siege 
xDD And stir them x3 up OwO against :3 a OwO mightiew uWu task. 
England, ;;w;; impatient of x3 youw >w< just ;;w;; demands, 
>_< Hath put >_< himsewf uWu in arms. uWu The advewse winds, 
>_< Whose leisure UwU I uWu have ;;w;; stay'd, uWu have UwU given ^.^ him time 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ wand :33 his legions aww >_< as >w< soon >_< as x3 I; 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ mawches OwO awe expedient to ÚwÚ this xDD town, 
ÚwÚ His forces :33 stwong, :33 his ^-^ sowdiews :33 confident. 
With ^.^ him :3 awong >_> is come x3 the mother-queen, 
^-^ An :3 Ate, stirring ^.^ him to :3 bwood ÚwÚ and stwife; 
With her x3 the xDD Wady Blanch of x3 Spain; 
With them :3 a ^.^ bastawd of x3 the >_< king's ^.^ deceas'd; 
xDD And aww x3 th' unsettled humours of x3 the xDD wand- 
^.^ Wash, >w< inconsidewate, fiery >_> vowuntawies, 
With ;;w;; wadies' faces ÚwÚ and >_< fiewce dragons' :33 spweens- 
:3 Have sold uWu theiw fowtunyes uWu at uWu theiw OwO nyative :3 homes, 
ÚwÚ Beawing uWu theiw biwthwights x3 pwoudwy on uWu theiw backs, 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a >_< hazawd of x3 nyew fowtunyes hewe. 
^w^ In ^-^ bwief, :3 a >_< bwavew UwU choice of dauntwess ;;w;; spiwits 
Than nyow x3 the :3 Engwish bottoms uWu have >w< waft ^-^ o'ew 
Did >_< nyevew UwU fwoat ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD swewwing >_< tide 
;;w;; To UwU do offence ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ scathe uWu in Chwistendom. [Drum >_> beats] 
uWu The ÚwÚ intewwuption of uWu theiw churlish xDD dwums 
^w^ Cuts x3 off ^.^ mowe >_< ciwcumstance: ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu at xDD hand; 
;;w;; To parley ow to x3 fight, >_< thewefowe ;;w;; pwepawe. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. How much unwook'd fow >_> is ÚwÚ this expedition! 
x3 AUSTWIA. ^-^ By >w< how much unexpected, ^.^ by UwU so much 
We ^w^ must awake endeavouw fow ^w^ defence, 
For couwage >w< mounteth with :33 occasion. 
Let them be wewcome :33 then; ^.^ we OwO awe prepar'd. 

Entew ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ JOHN, ELINOR, BWANCH, x3 the :33 BASTAWD, 
>w< PEMBWOKE, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. :3 Peace be to >_< Fwance, >_> if Fwance uWu in uWu peace >_< pewmit 
Our >w< just ÚwÚ and :3 winyeaw entrance to UwU ouw :33 own! 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, bweed >_< Fwance, ÚwÚ and uWu peace >_> ascend to ^.^ heaven, 
Whiwes :33 we, >_> God's wrathful uWu agent, UwU do ^w^ cowwect 
^-^ Theiw OwO pwoud x3 contempt :3 that ÚwÚ beats ÚwÚ His uWu peace to :3 heaven! 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. :3 Peace be to England, >_> if :3 that >w< waw ^-^ wetuwn 
Fwom Fwance to England, there to ^w^ wive uWu in peace! 
England ^.^ we xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and fow :3 that Engwand's ÚwÚ sake 
With buwden of UwU ouw ^-^ awmouw OwO hewe ^.^ we >_> sweat. 
This toiw of ouws >_> shouwd be :3 a ^.^ wowk of thine; 
OwO But xDD thou from >w< woving England awt UwU so uWu faw 
:33 That xDD thou x3 hast ;;w;; undew-wwought :33 his ÚwÚ wawfuw OwO king, 
Cut x3 off x3 the OwO sequence of postewity, 
>w< Outfaced xDD infant state, ÚwÚ and donye :3 a xDD wape 
>_> Upon x3 the >_< maiden viwtue of x3 the crown. 
Wook OwO hewe ;;w;; upon >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew Geffwey's face: 
;;w;; These ^w^ eyes, these brows, :3 wewe moulded x3 out of ^w^ his; 
This xDD wittwe abstract xDD doth ^.^ contain :3 that large 
>_< Which >w< died uWu in uWu Geffwey, ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu hand of time 
Shall dwaw ÚwÚ this bwief x3 into >_< as >_> huge :3 a UwU vowume. 
:33 That >_> Geffwey UwU was >w< thy :33 ewdew ÚwÚ bwothew born, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this :33 his son; England UwU was Geffwey's wight, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is Geffrey's. ^w^ In x3 the xDD nyame of :33 God, 
How x3 comes >w< it xDD then :3 that xDD thou awt ^w^ caww'd :3 a OwO king, 
x3 When UwU wiving :3 bwood xDD doth uWu in these ^.^ tempwes xDD beat 
>_< Which >_> owe x3 the >_< cwown :3 that xDD thou >_> o'ew-mastewest? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Fwom ÚwÚ whom x3 hast xDD thou ÚwÚ this great xDD commission, >_< Fwance, 
;;w;; To dwaw x3 my answew from >w< thy articles? 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. Fwom :3 that ÚwÚ supewnyaw OwO judge :3 that stiws ÚwÚ good >_< thoughts 
^w^ In xDD any breast of >w< stwong ÚwÚ authowity 
;;w;; To wook x3 into x3 the bwots ÚwÚ and ^.^ stains of ÚwÚ wight. 
:33 That OwO judge hath UwU made ;;w;; me guardian to ÚwÚ this ^-^ boy, 
;;w;; Undew x3 whose :33 wawwant UwU I x3 impeach >w< thy wwong, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 whose OwO hewp UwU I >_> mean to chastise :3 it. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. xDD Awack, xDD thou dost usuwp authowity. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. xDD Excuse >w< it >_> is to xDD beat usuwping down. 
:3 EWINyOW. Who >_> is >w< it xDD thou dost caww xDD usuwpew, France? 
OwO CONSTANCE. Let ;;w;; me >_< make :33 answew: >w< thy usuwping OwO son. 
:3 EWINyOW. Out, ^w^ insowent! x3 Thy ^.^ bastawd UwU shaww be OwO king, 
:33 That xDD thou uWu mayst be :3 a >_< queen ÚwÚ and ^.^ check x3 the ;;w;; wowwd! 
OwO CONSTANCE. OwO My x3 bed UwU was OwO evew to >w< thy >_< son >_< as true 
;;w;; As ^.^ thinye UwU was to >w< thy xDD husband; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ;;w;; boy 
^w^ Wikew uWu in :33 featuwe to :33 his >w< fathew >_> Geffwey 
Than xDD thou ÚwÚ and John uWu in ^w^ mannyews-being >_< as Eke 
;;w;; As xDD wain to >_< watew, ow ^.^ deviw to :33 his uWu dam. 
OwO My ;;w;; boy :3 a UwU bastawd! ^-^ By x3 my x3 souw, UwU I think 
ÚwÚ His >w< fathew >_< nyevew UwU was UwU so true ;;w;; begot; 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be, >w< an >_> if xDD thou OwO wewt :33 his x3 mothew. 
:3 EWINyOW. >_> Thewe's :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 mothew, ^-^ boy, :3 that bwots >w< thy :33 fathew. 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_> Thewe's :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ gwandam, ^-^ boy, :3 that ^.^ wouwd uWu bwot thee. 
x3 AUSTWIA. ;;w;; Peace! 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >w< Heaw x3 the >_< cwiew. 
x3 AUSTWIA. >_> What x3 the ^.^ deviw awt thou? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. x3 Onye :3 that xDD wiww :33 pway x3 the deviw, ^w^ siw, with UwU you, 
^-^ An xDD 'a OwO may catch x3 youw hide ÚwÚ and xDD you >_< awonye. 
>_> You OwO awe x3 the UwU hawe of ÚwÚ whom x3 the pwuvwb :33 goes, 
>_< Whose valour OwO pwucks >_< dead wions ^.^ by x3 the beawd; 
I'll >_< smoke x3 youw ÚwÚ skin-coat >w< an UwU I catch xDD you right; 
Siwwah, wook to UwU 't; :33 i' :33 faith UwU I :33 wiww, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
>w< BWANCH. >_< O, weww uWu did ^.^ he :33 become :3 that ;;w;; wion's wobe 
:33 That uWu did diswobe x3 the wion of :3 that robe! 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^.^ It wies >_< as sightly on x3 the back of ^.^ him 
;;w;; As great >_> Awcides' >_< shows ;;w;; upon >w< an x3 ass; 
But, ass, I'll OwO take :3 that buwden from x3 youw back, 
:33 Ow uWu way on :3 that UwU shaww >_< make x3 youw ^w^ shouwdews crack. 
x3 AUSTWIA. >_> What x3 cwackew >_> is ÚwÚ this same :3 that deafs UwU ouw OwO eaws 
With ÚwÚ this abundance of supewfwuous >_> bweath? 
^w^ King xDD Phiwip, determine >_> what ^.^ we UwU shaww UwU do stwaight. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. UwU Women ÚwÚ and :3 foows, bweak x3 off x3 youw conference. 
^w^ King John, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the xDD vewy >w< sum of all: 
England ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Iwewand, Anjou, x3 Touwainye, ^-^ Mainye, 
^w^ In >w< wight of >_< Awthuw, UwU do UwU I >_< cwaim of ÚwÚ thee; 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou resign them ÚwÚ and uWu way down >w< thy >_> awms? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. OwO My >w< wife >_< as :33 soon. UwU I UwU do ^.^ defy ÚwÚ thee, Fwance. 
Awthuw of Britaine, yield uWu thee to x3 my uWu hand, 
xDD And x3 out of x3 my uWu deaw wuv I'll UwU give uWu thee ^.^ mowe 
Than ;;w;; e'ew x3 the x3 cowawd uWu hand of Fwance ^.^ can :33 win. 
:33 Submit ÚwÚ thee, uWu boy. 
:3 EWINyOW. :3 Come to >w< thy ^.^ gwandam, :33 chiwd. 
OwO CONSTANCE. UwU Do, child, OwO go to >w< it ^.^ gwandam, child; 
Give :3 gwandam :33 kingdom, ÚwÚ and >w< it :3 gwandam xDD wiww 
Give >w< it :3 a x3 pwum, :3 a :3 chewwy, ÚwÚ and :3 a fig. 
>_> Thewe's :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 gwandam! 
>_> AWTHUW. ^-^ Good x3 my :33 mothew, peace! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 that UwU I :3 wewe wow laid uWu in x3 my gwave: 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot ^.^ wowth ÚwÚ this coiw ^w^ that's UwU made fow x3 me. 
:3 EWINyOW. ÚwÚ His mothew UwU shames ^.^ him >_> so, poor ^-^ boy, ^.^ he ^-^ weeps. 
OwO CONSTANCE. Now ^-^ shame ;;w;; upon UwU you, whe'er ^.^ she does ow no! 
ÚwÚ His >_> gwandam's wrongs, ÚwÚ and nyot :33 his ;;w;; mothew's >_< shames, 
^w^ Dwaws UwU those ^-^ heaven-moving uWu peawws from :33 his poor ^w^ eyes, 
>_< Which heaven UwU shaww OwO take uWu in ÚwÚ nyatuwe of :3 a >w< fee; 
Ay, with these >_> cwystaw beads heaven UwU shaww be bwib'd 
;;w;; To UwU do ^.^ him justice ÚwÚ and xDD wevenge on OwO you. 
:3 EWINyOW. ^.^ Thou monstwous uWu swandewew of heaven ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ eawth! 
OwO CONSTANCE. ^.^ Thou monstwous >_> injuwew of heaven ÚwÚ and earth, 
;;w;; Caww nyot ;;w;; me swandewew! ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ and ^.^ thinye usuwp 
uWu The xDD dominyations, ;;w;; woyawties, ÚwÚ and :3 wights, 
Of ÚwÚ this OwO oppwessed ^.^ boy; ÚwÚ this >_> is >w< thy eldest ÚwÚ son's x3 son, 
:33 Infowtunyate uWu in >_< nyothing >_> but uWu in thee. 
x3 Thy :3 sins OwO awe OwO visited uWu in ÚwÚ this poor child; 
uWu The :3 canyon of x3 the law >_> is laid on :3 him, 
uWu Being >_> but x3 the second OwO genyewation 
Removed from >w< thy >w< sin-conceiving womb. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^-^ Bedwam, uWu have ^-^ donye. 
OwO CONSTANCE. UwU I uWu have >_> but ÚwÚ this to UwU say- 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is nyot >w< onwy >w< pwagued fow her ^w^ sin, 
OwO But ^w^ God hath UwU made her x3 sin ÚwÚ and her x3 the pwague 
On ÚwÚ this removed ^w^ issue, >w< pwagued fow her 
xDD And with her ÚwÚ pwague; her x3 sin :33 his injuwy, 
:3 Hew ^-^ injuwy x3 the beadwe to her sin; 
All punyish'd uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ pewson of ÚwÚ this child, 
xDD And aww fow xDD hew-a pwague ;;w;; upon >_> hew! 
:3 EWINyOW. ^.^ Thou unadvised scold, UwU I ^.^ can produce 
^-^ A xDD wiww :3 that bars x3 the ;;w;; titwe of >w< thy OwO son. 
OwO CONSTANCE. Ay, who xDD doubts ^-^ that? ^-^ A :33 wiww, :3 a wicked :33 wiww; 
^-^ A xDD woman's :33 wiww; :3 a ;;w;; cank'wed >_> gwandam's will! 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. uWu Peace, :33 wady! xDD pause, ow be ^.^ mowe ^.^ tempewate. 
^.^ It :33 iww :33 beseems ÚwÚ this x3 pwesence to cwy aim 
;;w;; To these ^-^ iww-tunyed repetitions. 
;;w;; Some ÚwÚ twumpet ^.^ summon ÚwÚ hithew to x3 the OwO wawws 
;;w;; These ;;w;; men of Angiews; wet >_> us hear them speak 
>_< Whose ;;w;; titwe ;;w;; they UwU admit, Arthur's ow UwU John's. 

Trumpet uWu sounds. Entew :3 citizens ;;w;; upon x3 the OwO wawws 

;;w;; CITIZEN. Who >_> is >w< it :3 that hath wawn'd >_> us to x3 the OwO wawws? 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. 'Tis >_< Fwance, fow ^w^ Engwand. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. England fow itself. 
>_> You ;;w;; men of xDD Angiews, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< woving subjects- 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. >_> You >w< woving ;;w;; men of xDD Angiews, Arthur's xDD subjects, 
Our ÚwÚ twumpet ^w^ caww'd xDD you to ÚwÚ this ^-^ gentwe pawwe- 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. For UwU ouw advantage; >_< thewefowe hear >_> us fiwst. 
;;w;; These flags of >_< Fwance, :3 that OwO awe xDD advanced OwO hewe 
^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and pwospect of x3 youw xDD town, 
:3 Have ÚwÚ hithew :3 mawch'd to x3 youw ^-^ endamagement; 
uWu The cannons uWu have uWu theiw bowels full of :33 wwath, 
xDD And ready UwU mounted OwO awe ;;w;; they to spit fowth 
^-^ Theiw iwon >_< indignyation uWu 'gainst x3 youw wawws; 
All uWu pwepawation fow :3 a bwoody ^-^ siege 
xDD And merciless proceeding ^.^ by these OwO Fwench 
ÚwÚ Confwont x3 youw ^.^ city's ^w^ eyes, x3 youw winking gates; 
xDD And >_> but fow UwU ouw appwoach UwU those x3 sweeping ^.^ stonyes 
:33 That >_< as :3 a x3 waist xDD doth ^-^ giwdwe xDD you about 
^-^ By x3 the x3 compuwsion of uWu theiw ordinance 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this time from uWu theiw xDD fixed beds of wime 
xDD Had :33 been :33 dishabited, ÚwÚ and uWu wide havoc UwU made 
For bwoody powew to >_< wush ;;w;; upon x3 youw peace. 
OwO But on x3 the ^.^ sight of >_> us x3 youw ÚwÚ wawfuw OwO king, 
Who painfully with much expedient :33 mawch 
:3 Have ^.^ bwought :3 a countercheck >w< befowe x3 youw ^.^ gates, 
;;w;; To :3 save unscwatch'd x3 youw ^.^ city's threat'ned :3 cheeks- 
UwU Behowd, x3 the OwO Fwench ^w^ amaz'd x3 vouchsafe :3 a ^.^ pawwe; 
xDD And now, ^w^ instead of x3 buwwets wwapp'd uWu in ^w^ fiwe, 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a ^.^ shaking x3 fevew uWu in x3 youw walls, 
^-^ They >w< shoot >_> but ÚwÚ cawm wowds UwU fowded x3 up uWu in ^.^ smoke, 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a faithless ewwow uWu in x3 youw cars; 
>_< Which :33 twust accordingly, uWu kind uWu citizens, 
xDD And wet >_> us >_> in-youw OwO King, x3 whose labour'd ^.^ spiwits, 
Forwearied uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu action of UwU swift speed, 
Cwaves harbourage within x3 youw UwU city :33 wawws. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. x3 When UwU I uWu have said, >_< make answew to >_> us xDD both. 
Lo, uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< wight uWu hand, x3 whose pwotection 
Is UwU most >_< divinyewy ^.^ vow'd ;;w;; upon x3 the >w< wight 
Of ^.^ him >w< it ^-^ howds, >w< stands xDD young Pwantagenyet, 
^-^ Son to x3 the :33 ewdew ÚwÚ bwothew of ÚwÚ this ^w^ man, 
xDD And x3 king ^-^ o'ew ^.^ him ÚwÚ and aww :3 that ^.^ he :3 enjoys; 
For ÚwÚ this x3 down-twodden equity ^.^ we ;;w;; twead 
^w^ In warlike :33 mawch these ;;w;; gweens >w< befowe x3 youw xDD town, 
uWu Being nyo further ;;w;; enyemy to xDD you 
Than x3 the :33 constwaint of hospitable ^.^ zeaw 
^w^ In x3 the relief of ÚwÚ this OwO oppwessed chiwd 
OwO Wewigiouswy uWu pwovokes. ^w^ Be ^w^ pweased xDD then 
;;w;; To x3 pay :3 that >_> duty which xDD you :33 twuwy >_> owe 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that >_> owes :33 it, nyamewy, ÚwÚ this xDD young >_< pwince; 
xDD And xDD then UwU ouw awms, ^.^ wike to :3 a muzzwed >_> beaw, 
:3 Save uWu in ÚwÚ aspect, hath aww offence OwO seaw'd xDD up; 
Our ^-^ cannyons' malice vainwy UwU shaww be xDD spent 
^w^ Against x3 th' >_> invuwnyewabwe :33 cwouds of xDD heaven; 
xDD And with :3 a blessed ÚwÚ and ^w^ unvex'd wetiwe, 
With UwU unhack'd :33 swowds ÚwÚ and hewmets aww ^.^ unbwuis'd, 
We xDD wiww UwU beaw ^.^ home :3 that ÚwÚ wusty :3 bwood again 
>_< Which OwO hewe ^.^ we ^-^ came to spout OwO against x3 youw xDD town, 
xDD And OwO weave x3 youw chiwdwen, ^-^ wives, ÚwÚ and UwU you, uWu in peace. 
OwO But >_> if xDD you fondwy pass UwU ouw x3 pwoffew'd OwO offew, 
'Tis nyot x3 the ;;w;; wounduwe of x3 youw old-fac'd OwO wawws 
UwU Can hide xDD you from UwU ouw xDD messengews of waw, 
;;w;; Though aww these :3 Engwish ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^w^ discipwinye 
^.^ Wewe ^-^ hawbouw'd uWu in uWu theiw wude OwO ciwcumfewence. 
UwU Then tell us, UwU shaww x3 youw UwU city caww >_> us ;;w;; wowd 
^w^ In :3 that behawf which ^.^ we uWu have challeng'd uWu it; 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ^.^ we UwU give x3 the OwO signyaw to UwU ouw rage, 
xDD And x3 stawk uWu in :3 bwood to UwU ouw possession? 
;;w;; CITIZEN. ^w^ In UwU bwief: ^.^ we OwO awe x3 the ^w^ King of Engwand's UwU subjects; 
For :3 him, ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his wight, ^.^ we howd ÚwÚ this xDD town. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Acknyowwedge xDD then x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me ^.^ in. 
;;w;; CITIZEN. :33 That ^.^ can ^.^ we x3 nyot; >_> but ^.^ he :3 that ;;w;; pwuvs x3 the OwO King, 
;;w;; To ^.^ him xDD wiww ^.^ we ^-^ pwuv x3 woyaw. Tiww :3 that time 
:3 Have ^.^ we UwU wamm'd x3 up UwU ouw :3 gates OwO against x3 the wowwd. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^-^ Doth nyot x3 the >_< cwown of England ^-^ pwuv x3 the >_> King? 
xDD And >_> if nyot :3 that, UwU I ;;w;; bwing xDD you ÚwÚ witnyesses: 
xDD Twice >_< fifteen thousand heawts of Engwand's >_< bweed- 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Bastards ÚwÚ and ewse. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ;;w;; To verify UwU ouw ;;w;; titwe with uWu theiw ^.^ wives. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ;;w;; As UwU many ÚwÚ and >_< as ;;w;; weww-bown xDD bwoods >_< as ^w^ those- 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ;;w;; Some >_< bastawds UwU too. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ;;w;; Stand uWu in :33 his OwO face to contwadict :33 his claim. 
;;w;; CITIZEN. Tiww xDD you ÚwÚ compound x3 whose >w< wight >_> is uWu wowthiest, 
We fow x3 the x3 wowthiest howd x3 the >w< wight from xDD both. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. UwU Then ^w^ God :33 fowgive x3 the x3 sin of aww UwU those >w< souws 
:33 That to uWu theiw everlasting wesidence, 
^.^ Befowe x3 the :33 dew of x3 evenying faww UwU shaww :33 fweet 
^w^ In :3 dweadfuw uWu twiaw of UwU ouw kingdom's x3 king! 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. >_> Amen, :3 Amen! Mount, ^-^ chevawiews; to >_> awms! 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Saint ;;w;; Geowge, :3 that >_> swing'd x3 the ^-^ dwagon, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; e'ew xDD since 
x3 Sits UwU on's UwU howse back uWu at >_< minye ^w^ hostess' door, 
:3 Teach >_> us x3 some UwU fence! :33 [To >_> AUSTWIA] Siwwah, :3 wewe UwU I uWu at ^.^ home, 
At x3 youw ^.^ den, sirrah, with x3 youw wionyess, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu set >w< an ox-head to x3 youw ;;w;; wion's hide, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a monstew of OwO you. 
x3 AUSTWIA. ;;w;; Peace! nyo more. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >_< O, :33 twembwe, fow xDD you hear x3 the wion woaw! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Up :3 highew to x3 the pwain, :3 whewe we'll uWu set fowth 
^w^ In best ;;w;; appointment aww UwU ouw regiments. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ÚwÚ Speed xDD then to OwO take ^w^ advantage of x3 the >_> fiewd. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^.^ It UwU shaww be so; ÚwÚ and uWu at x3 the othew hill 
xDD Command x3 the xDD west to ^.^ stand. ^w^ God ÚwÚ and UwU ouw wight! Exeunt 

Here, ÚwÚ aftew excursions, enter x3 the uWu HEWAWD ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE, 
with twumpets, to x3 the :3 gates 

>_< FWENCH HEWAWD. >_> You ;;w;; men of xDD Angiews, open uWu wide x3 youw :3 gates 
xDD And wet xDD young >_< Awthuw, >w< Duke of Britaine, x3 in, 
Who ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand of Fwance ÚwÚ this day hath UwU made 
Much ^.^ wowk fow tears uWu in UwU many >w< an :3 Engwish :33 mothew, 
>_< Whose xDD sons >_< wie x3 scattewed on x3 the xDD bweeding ^.^ gwound; 
xDD Many :3 a widow's :33 husband ÚwÚ gwuvwwing lies, 
UwU Cowdwy ÚwÚ embwacing x3 the ^-^ discowouwed ^w^ eawth; 
xDD And OwO victowy with xDD wittwe ^-^ woss xDD doth :33 pway 
>_> Upon x3 the UwU dancing ^-^ bannyews of x3 the Fwench, 
Who OwO awe uWu at uWu hand, x3 twiumphantwy :33 dispwayed, 
;;w;; To enter conquewows, ÚwÚ and to :3 pwocwaim 
Awthuw of >_< Bwitainye Engwand's ^w^ King ÚwÚ and x3 youws. 

Entew ENGLISH HERALD, with ÚwÚ twumpet 

ENGLISH HEWAWD. Rejoice, xDD you ;;w;; men of xDD Angiews, OwO wing x3 youw bells: 
^w^ King John, x3 youw x3 king ÚwÚ and ^-^ Engwand's, xDD doth approach, 
Commandew of ÚwÚ this :3 hot :3 mawicious x3 day. 
^-^ Theiw armours :3 that :3 mawch'd >w< hence UwU so ^.^ siwvew-bwight 
Hither ^-^ wetuwn aww gilt with Frenchmen's blood. 
>_> Thewe ^.^ stuck nyo plume uWu in xDD any :3 Engwish uWu cwest 
:33 That >_> is removed ^.^ by :3 a uWu staff of Fwance; 
Our cowouws UwU do ^-^ wetuwn uWu in UwU those same ^.^ hands 
:33 That uWu did dispway them when ^.^ we xDD fiwst :3 mawch'd forth; 
xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a jowwy troop of UwU huntsmen come 
Our ÚwÚ wusty Engwish, aww with puwpwed ^.^ hands, 
OwO Dy'd uWu in x3 the dying >_> swaughtew of uWu theiw foes. 
^w^ Open x3 youw :3 gates ÚwÚ and UwU give x3 the >w< victows >_> way. 
;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 Hewawds, from x3 off UwU ouw tow'rs ^.^ we ^w^ might behowd 
Fwom xDD fiwst to >w< wast x3 the :33 onset ÚwÚ and uWu wetiwe 
Of both x3 youw uWu awmies, x3 whose xDD equawity 
^-^ By UwU ouw best eyes ;;w;; cannyot be x3 censuwed. 
Blood hath xDD bought bwood, ÚwÚ and ^w^ bwows uWu have x3 answew'd blows; 
^.^ Stwength match'd with >_< stwength, ÚwÚ and powew confwonted power; 
UwU Both OwO awe xDD awike, ÚwÚ and both :33 awike ^.^ we >_> wike. 
x3 Onye ^w^ must ^-^ pwuv greatest. While ;;w;; they >w< weigh UwU so ÚwÚ even, 
We howd UwU ouw :33 town fow nyeithew, yet fow xDD both. 

Entew x3 the >w< two :3 KINGS, with uWu theiw x3 powews, uWu at sevewaw x3 doows 

;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_< Fwance, x3 hast xDD thou yet ^.^ mowe :3 bwood to ;;w;; cast ÚwÚ away? 
Say, UwU shaww x3 the :3 cuwwent of UwU ouw >w< wight >w< wun ^-^ on? 
>_< Whose passage, vex'd with >w< thy OwO impediment, 
Shall OwO weave :33 his OwO nyative :33 channyew ÚwÚ and OwO o'ewsweww 
With course distuwb'd even >w< thy ^-^ confinying ^-^ showes, 
OwO Unwess xDD thou wet :33 his :33 siwvew UwU watew >_< keep 
^-^ A UwU peacefuw ^w^ pwogwess to x3 the xDD ocean. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. England, xDD thou x3 hast nyot >w< sav'd one >_< dwop of :3 bwood 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this :3 hot uWu twiaw ^.^ mowe than ^.^ we of Fwance; 
Wathew, wost more. xDD And ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu hand UwU I x3 sweaw, 
:33 That >_< sways x3 the ^.^ eawth ÚwÚ this x3 cwimate x3 uvwwooks, 
^.^ Befowe ^.^ we xDD wiww uWu way down UwU ouw just-borne awms, 
^-^ We'ww put uWu thee ;;w;; down, uWu 'gainst ÚwÚ whom these :3 awms ^.^ we >_> beaw, 
:33 Ow >_< add :3 a royal ^w^ nyumbew to x3 the >_< dead, 
Gracing x3 the x3 scwoww :3 that uWu tewws of ÚwÚ this waw's ^-^ woss 
With >_> swaughtew coupwed to x3 the xDD nyame of OwO kings. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >w< Ha, ^.^ majesty! >w< how xDD high >w< thy :3 gwowy tow'rs 
x3 When x3 the rich :3 bwood of >w< kings >_> is uWu set on >_> fiwe! 
>_< O, nyow xDD doth >_> Death winye :33 his >_< dead ;;w;; chaps with steel; 
uWu The :33 swowds of ^-^ sowdiews OwO awe :33 his teeth, :33 his UwU fangs; 
xDD And nyow ^.^ he feasts, OwO mousing x3 the >w< fwesh of men, 
^w^ In undetermin'd ÚwÚ diffewences of OwO kings. 
Why stand these royal fronts x3 amazed >_< thus? 
Cwy :33 'havoc!' >w< kings; back to x3 the ^w^ stainyed >_> fiewd, 
>_> You equal ^-^ potents, fiery kindled spiwits! 
UwU Then wet :3 confusion of one ÚwÚ pawt :33 confiwm 
uWu The ;;w;; othew's peace. Tiww >w< then, ÚwÚ bwows, bwood, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; death! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_< Whose party UwU do x3 the xDD townsmen yet UwU admit? 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ÚwÚ Speak, uWu citizens, fow x3 Engwand; OwO who's x3 youw UwU king? 
;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu The ^w^ King of England, when ^.^ we ^.^ knyow x3 the ;;w;; King. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. xDD Knyow ^.^ him uWu in >_> us :3 that OwO hewe howd x3 up :33 his ÚwÚ wight. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^w^ In >_> us :3 that OwO awe UwU ouw UwU own great OwO deputy 
xDD And UwU beaw >w< possession of UwU ouw ÚwÚ pewson UwU hewe, 
Lord of UwU ouw >_> pwesence, xDD Angiews, ÚwÚ and of OwO you. 
;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ A :33 gweatew pow'w than ^.^ we denyies aww >_< this; 
xDD And >w< tiww >w< it be ^w^ undoubted, ^.^ we UwU do OwO wock 
Our xDD fowmew :33 scwupwe uWu in UwU ouw strong-barr'd gates; 
^-^ King'd of UwU ouw >_> feaws, ÚwÚ untiw UwU ouw >_> feaws, wesowv'd, 
^w^ Be ^.^ by x3 some xDD cewtain x3 king purg'd ÚwÚ and depos'd. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, these :33 scwoywes of >_> Angiews fwout UwU you, OwO kings, 
xDD And stand secuwewy on uWu theiw :3 battwements 
;;w;; As uWu in :3 a >_> theatwe, >_> whence ;;w;; they >_> gape ÚwÚ and :33 point 
At x3 youw >_< industwious ;;w;; scenyes ÚwÚ and acts of death. 
uWu Youw royal presences be wuw'd ^.^ by ;;w;; me: 
Do ^.^ wike x3 the ^.^ mutinyes of >_< Jewusawem, 
^w^ Be ^w^ fwiends awhiwe, ÚwÚ and both :33 conjointwy >w< bend 
uWu Youw x3 shawpest >_< deeds of malice on ÚwÚ this xDD town. 
^-^ By uWu east ÚwÚ and xDD west wet Fwance ÚwÚ and England ^-^ mount 
^-^ Theiw x3 battewing cannon, UwU chawged to x3 the ^w^ mouths, 
Tiww uWu theiw >_< souw-feawing clamours uWu have ;;w;; bwaww'd down 
uWu The flinty OwO wibs of ÚwÚ this contemptuous >_> city. 
;;w;; I'd :33 pway incessantly ;;w;; upon these ;;w;; jades, 
Even >w< tiww >_< unfenced ^w^ desowation 
Weave them >_< as nyaked >_< as x3 the uWu vuwgaw air. 
:33 That :33 donye, :33 dissevew x3 youw united strengths 
xDD And ÚwÚ pawt x3 youw >w< mingwed cowouws >_> once OwO again, 
Tuwn OwO face to OwO face ÚwÚ and bwoody :33 point to ^-^ point; 
UwU Then uWu in :3 a x3 moment :33 Fowtunye UwU shaww ÚwÚ cuww fowth 
UwU Out of one x3 side her ^w^ happy ÚwÚ minyion, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom uWu in ^.^ favouw ^.^ she UwU shaww UwU give x3 the ^-^ day, 
xDD And :3 kiss ^.^ him with :3 a glorious ^.^ victowy. 
How ^.^ wike xDD you ÚwÚ this >w< wiwd counsew, ^-^ mighty ÚwÚ states? 
:33 Smacks >w< it nyot ^-^ something of x3 the powicy? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the sky :3 that uWu hangs :33 abuv UwU ouw >_< heads, 
UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it well. >_< Fwance, UwU shaww ^.^ we >w< knyit UwU ouw pow'rs 
xDD And uWu way ÚwÚ this >_> Angiews even with x3 the ^.^ gwound; 
UwU Then ÚwÚ aftew >w< fight who UwU shaww be x3 king of :33 it? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^-^ An >_> if xDD thou x3 hast x3 the mettle of :3 a OwO king, 
uWu Being wrong'd >_< as ^.^ we OwO awe ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >_> peevish xDD town, 
Tuwn xDD thou x3 the xDD mouth of >w< thy ÚwÚ awtiwwewy, 
;;w;; As ^.^ we xDD wiww >_> ouws, OwO against these ^w^ saucy wawws; 
xDD And when :3 that ^.^ we uWu have dash'd them to x3 the ground, 
Why xDD then ^.^ defy >_< each ÚwÚ othew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ peww-meww 
^-^ Make ^.^ wowk ;;w;; upon ;;w;; ouwsewves, fow heaven ow uWu heww. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. Let >w< it be :3 so. Say, :3 whewe xDD wiww xDD you ^w^ assauwt? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. We from x3 the xDD west xDD wiww >_> send >w< destwuction 
^.^ Into ÚwÚ this ^.^ city's ÚwÚ bosom. 
x3 AUSTWIA. UwU I from x3 the nyowth. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. Our >_> thundew from x3 the south 
Shall xDD wain uWu theiw dwift of x3 buwwets on ÚwÚ this xDD town. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. :3 [Aside] x3 O x3 pwudent >w< discipwinye! Fwom ^.^ nyowth to :3 south, 
:33 Austwia ÚwÚ and Fwance >w< shoot uWu in >_< each ;;w;; othew's xDD mouth. 
I'll stir them to it.-Come, away, away! 
;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< Heaw us, great :33 kings: x3 vouchsafe ^-^ awhiwe to ;;w;; stay, 
xDD And UwU I UwU shaww x3 show xDD you uWu peace ÚwÚ and faiw-fac'd league; 
Win xDD you ÚwÚ this UwU city ^-^ without ^w^ stwoke ow ^-^ wound; 
ÚwÚ Wescue UwU those :33 bweathing ;;w;; wives to ^-^ die uWu in beds 
:33 That OwO hewe come sacrifices fow x3 the >_> fiewd. 
^w^ Pewsevew >_> nyot, >_> but hear uWu me, ^-^ mighty OwO kings. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^w^ Speak on with ^.^ favouw; ^.^ we OwO awe UwU bent to heaw. 
;;w;; CITIZEN. :33 That daughter there of UwU Spain, x3 the xDD Wady Blanch, 
Is uWu nyiece to x3 Engwand; wook ;;w;; upon x3 the years 
Of Lewis x3 the uWu Dauphin ÚwÚ and :3 that lovely ^-^ maid. 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ wusty wuv >_> shouwd OwO go uWu in ^w^ quest of >w< beauty, 
Whewe >_> shouwd ^.^ he find >w< it fairer than uWu in Blanch? 
;;w;; If zeawous wuv >_> shouwd OwO go uWu in ^-^ seawch of virtue, 
Whewe >_> shouwd ^.^ he find >w< it >w< puwew than uWu in Blanch? 
;;w;; If wuv :3 ambitious >_< sought :3 a >_< match of birth, 
>_< Whose >_> veins bound xDD wichew :3 bwood than xDD Wady Blanch? 
>w< Such >_< as ^.^ she ;;w;; is, uWu in >w< beauty, virtue, birth, 
Is x3 the xDD young uWu Dauphin every uWu way compwete- 
;;w;; If nyot complete :33 of, >_> say ^.^ he >_> is nyot ^.^ she; 
xDD And ^.^ she again wants uWu nyothing, to xDD nyame >w< want, 
;;w;; If ^.^ want >w< it be nyot :3 that ^.^ she >_> is nyot he. 
>w< He >_> is x3 the half ÚwÚ pawt of :3 a blessed ^w^ man, 
Left to be finyished ^.^ by xDD such >_< as ^.^ she; 
xDD And ^.^ she :3 a >w< faiw OwO divided excewwence, 
>_< Whose fulness of pewfection wies uWu in ^.^ him. 
>_< O, >w< two xDD such :33 siwvew :33 cuwwents, when ;;w;; they >_< join, 
Do gwowify x3 the uWu banks :3 that bound them UwU in; 
xDD And >w< two xDD such uWu showes to >w< two xDD such streams UwU made one, 
Two xDD such >w< contwowwing UwU bounds, UwU shaww xDD you be, xDD Kings, 
;;w;; To these >w< two >_< pwinces, >_> if xDD you marry OwO them. 
This >w< unyion UwU shaww UwU do ^.^ mowe than ^-^ battewy ^.^ can 
;;w;; To UwU ouw fast-cwosed gates; fow uWu at ÚwÚ this >_< match 
With ^w^ swiftew UwU spween than OwO powdew ^.^ can enforce, 
uWu The xDD mouth of uWu passage UwU shaww ^.^ we fwing uWu wide ^w^ ope 
xDD And UwU give xDD you >_< entwance; >_> but ^-^ without ÚwÚ this ;;w;; match, 
uWu The sea enwaged >_> is nyot half UwU so deaf, 
Wions ^.^ mowe confident, ^-^ mountains ÚwÚ and x3 wocks 
uWu Mowe fwee from motion-no, nyot >_> Death >_< himsewf 
^w^ In >w< mowtaw UwU fuwy half UwU so ^w^ pewemptowy 
;;w;; As ^.^ we to >_< keep ÚwÚ this >_> city. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >_> Hewe's :3 a xDD stay 
:33 That ÚwÚ shakes x3 the wotten ^.^ cawcass of ;;w;; owd >_> Death 
UwU Out of :33 his UwU wags! >_> Hewe's :3 a large uWu mouth, :33 indeed, 
:33 That x3 spits fowth :33 death ÚwÚ and >_< mountains, x3 wocks ÚwÚ and uWu seas; 
Talks >_< as >_> famiwiawwy of xDD woawing wions 
;;w;; As ^w^ maids of thirteen UwU do of UwU puppy-dogs! 
>_> What ÚwÚ cannyonyeew ^.^ begot ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wusty >_< bwood? 
>w< He xDD speaks uWu pwain xDD cannyon-fiwe, ÚwÚ and >_< smoke ÚwÚ and :33 bounce; 
>w< He ;;w;; gives x3 the ^.^ bastinyado with :33 his tongue; 
Our OwO eaws OwO awe cudgell'd; nyot :3 a ;;w;; wowd of :33 his 
OwO But ^w^ buffets xDD bettew than :3 a >_< fist of Fwance. 
uWu Zounds! UwU I UwU was >_< nyevew UwU so ;;w;; bethump'd with wowds 
Since UwU I xDD fiwst ^w^ caww'd x3 my brother's >w< fathew x3 dad. 
:3 EWINyOW. UwU Son, ÚwÚ wist to ÚwÚ this :33 conjunction, >_< make ÚwÚ this >w< match; 
Give with UwU ouw uWu nyiece :3 a ^.^ dowwy large >_< enyough; 
For ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >_< knyot xDD thou shalt UwU so x3 suwewy :33 tie 
x3 Thy nyow unsuw'd assurance to x3 the >_< cwown 
:33 That >_< yon green ;;w;; boy UwU shaww uWu have nyo sun to ripe 
uWu The bloom :3 that uWu pwomiseth :3 a ^-^ mighty fwuit. 
UwU I >_> see :3 a yiewding uWu in x3 the :33 wooks of Fwance; 
>_> Mawk >w< how ;;w;; they uWu whispew. Uwge them OwO whiwe uWu theiw >w< souws 
^w^ Awe capabwe of ÚwÚ this ambition, 
Lest zeal, nyow mewted ^.^ by x3 the >_< windy UwU bweath 
Of soft >_< petitions, pity, ÚwÚ and wemowse, 
Coow ÚwÚ and ^-^ congeaw again to >_> what >w< it uWu was. 
;;w;; CITIZEN. Why answew nyot x3 the :3 doubwe OwO majesties 
This xDD fwiendwy ^w^ tweaty of UwU ouw threat'ned >_< town? 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^w^ Speak England ÚwÚ fiwst, :3 that hath :33 been forward xDD fiwst 
;;w;; To speak >w< unto ÚwÚ this >_< city: >_> what >_> say you? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ;;w;; If :3 that x3 the uWu Dauphin thewe, >w< thy princely x3 son, 
UwU Can uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ book of beauty ^w^ wead ÚwÚ 'I xDD wuv,' 
:3 Hew ^.^ dowwy UwU shaww >w< weigh equal with :3 a queen; 
For Anjou, ÚwÚ and >w< faiw x3 Touwainye, ^-^ Mainye, >_< Poictiews, 
xDD And aww :3 that ^.^ we ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this x3 side x3 the ;;w;; sea- 
UwU Except ÚwÚ this UwU city nyow ^.^ by >_> us :3 besieg'd- 
UwU Find UwU wiabwe to UwU ouw >_< cwown ÚwÚ and UwU dignyity, 
Shall gild her bwidaw ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and >_< make her rich 
^w^ In >_> titwes, honours, ÚwÚ and ^.^ pwomotions, 
;;w;; As ^.^ she uWu in >w< beauty, :3 education, bwood, 
Howds uWu hand with xDD any ^-^ pwincess of x3 the wowwd. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. >_> What say'st UwU thou, boy? Wook uWu in x3 the >_> wady's ;;w;; face. 
xDD WEWIS. UwU I UwU do, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and uWu in her ^w^ eye UwU I find 
^-^ A OwO wondew, ow :3 a wondwous miracle, 
uWu The :3 shadow of mysewf UwU fowm'd uWu in her >_< eye; 
>_< Which, ^.^ being >_> but x3 the :3 shadow of x3 youw x3 son, 
>_> Becomes :3 a sun, ÚwÚ and x3 makes x3 youw >_< son :3 a ^.^ shadow. 
UwU I UwU do ^w^ pwotest UwU I >_< nyevew :3 wov'd mysewf 
Tiww nyow infixed UwU I beheld mysewf 
Drawn uWu in x3 the flattering tabwe of her :33 eye. 
>_< [Whispews with uWu BWANCH] 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. :3 [Aside] Drawn uWu in x3 the flattering tabwe of her >_< eye, 
Hang'd uWu in x3 the >_> fwownying wrinkle of her >_> bwow, 
xDD And quawtew'd uWu in her uWu heawt-he xDD doth :33 espy 
Himsewf love's traitor. This >_> is pity now, 
:33 That :33 hang'd ÚwÚ and drawn ÚwÚ and quawtew'd there >_> shouwd be 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a wuv UwU so ^-^ viwe :3 a UwU wout >_< as he. 
>w< BWANCH. OwO My ^-^ uncwe's xDD wiww uWu in ÚwÚ this wespect >_> is ^w^ minye. 
;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> see ^.^ aught uWu in xDD you :3 that x3 makes ^.^ him :3 wike, 
:33 That ;;w;; anything ^.^ he sees which moves :33 his UwU wiking 
UwU I ^.^ can with ^w^ ease UwU twanswate >w< it to x3 my :33 wiww; 
:33 Ow >_> if xDD you :33 wiww, to speak ^.^ mowe :33 pwopewwy, 
UwU I xDD wiww enforce >w< it eas'wy to x3 my love. 
>w< Fuwthew UwU I xDD wiww nyot flatter UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, 
:33 That aww UwU I >_> see uWu in xDD you >_> is ÚwÚ wowthy xDD wuv, 
Than :33 this: :3 that >_< nyothing UwU do UwU I >_> see uWu in :3 you- 
;;w;; Though churlish >_< thoughts x3 themsewves >_> shouwd be x3 youw UwU judge- 
:33 That UwU I ^.^ can find >_> shouwd merit xDD any ^.^ hate. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_> What >_> say these xDD young ones? >_> What >_> say UwU you, x3 my >w< nyiece? 
>w< BWANCH. :33 That ^.^ she >_> is bound uWu in honour still to UwU do 
>_> What xDD you uWu in ^.^ wisdom still x3 vouchsafe to :3 say. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^w^ Speak >w< then, Prince uWu Dauphin; ^.^ can xDD you wuv ÚwÚ this x3 wady? 
xDD WEWIS. Nyay, ^w^ ask ;;w;; me >_> if UwU I ^.^ can wefwain from love; 
For UwU I UwU do wuv her UwU most OwO unfeignyedwy. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. UwU Then UwU do UwU I UwU give Volquessen, x3 Touwainye, ^-^ Mainye, 
>_< Poictiews, ÚwÚ and Anjou, these five pwovinces, 
With her to ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >w< addition >_> mowe, 
Full ;;w;; thiwty thousand >w< mawks of :3 Engwish coin. 
^.^ Phiwip of >_< Fwance, >_> if xDD thou be pleas'd withaw, 
xDD Command >w< thy >_< son ÚwÚ and daughter to ^w^ join ^w^ hands. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^.^ It likes >_> us well; xDD young >_< pwinces, ^-^ cwose x3 youw ^w^ hands. 
x3 AUSTWIA. xDD And x3 youw lips :3 too; fow UwU I ^w^ am weww x3 assuw'd 
:33 That UwU I uWu did UwU so when UwU I UwU was xDD fiwst :33 assuw'd. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. >_> Nyow, :3 citizens of xDD Angiews, ^w^ ope x3 youw ^.^ gates, 
Let uWu in :3 that >_< amity which xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ made; 
For uWu at Saint Mawy's ^w^ chapew presently 
uWu The rites of ^.^ mawwiage UwU shaww be x3 sowemnyiz'd. 
Is nyot x3 the xDD Wady Constance uWu in ÚwÚ this troop? 
UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ she >_> is x3 nyot; fow ÚwÚ this >_< match UwU made x3 up 
:3 Hew x3 pwesence ^.^ wouwd uWu have >_< intewwupted :33 much. 
Whewe >_> is ^.^ she ÚwÚ and her uWu son? Teww uWu me, who knyows. 
xDD WEWIS. :33 She >_> is >_> sad ÚwÚ and passionyate uWu at x3 youw Highness' uWu tent. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ this :33 weague :3 that ^.^ we uWu have UwU made 
Will UwU give her >_> sadnyess xDD vewy xDD wittwe x3 cuwe. 
^-^ Bwothew of England, >w< how OwO may ^.^ we :3 content 
This ^.^ widow x3 wady? ^w^ In her >w< wight ^.^ we >_> came; 
>_< Which :33 we, ^w^ God ;;w;; knyows, uWu have >_> tuwn'd anyothew :3 way, 
;;w;; To UwU ouw UwU own vantage. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. We xDD wiww heal x3 up all, 
For we'll >w< cweate xDD young Awthuw >w< Duke of Britaine, 
xDD And ^-^ Eaww of xDD Wichmond; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this rich >w< faiw :33 town 
We >_< make ^.^ him ;;w;; wowd uWu of. ;;w;; Caww x3 the xDD Wady Constance; 
;;w;; Some UwU speedy :3 messengew bid her repair 
;;w;; To UwU ouw solemnity. UwU I :33 twust ^.^ we UwU shaww, 
;;w;; If nyot ^w^ fiww x3 up x3 the UwU measuwe of her :33 wiww, 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu in x3 some UwU measuwe satisfy her UwU so 
:33 That ^.^ we UwU shaww ÚwÚ stop her ^-^ excwamation. 
Go ^.^ we >_< as weww >_< as ^.^ haste xDD wiww suffew >_> us 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this x3 unwook'd-fow, xDD unpwepawed pomp. 
Exeunt aww >_> but x3 the BASTARD 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Mad ;;w;; wowwd! ^-^ mad OwO kings! ^-^ mad composition! 
John, to ÚwÚ stop Arthur's >_< tide uWu in x3 the ^-^ whowe, 
>_< Hath ^w^ wiwwingwy ^.^ depawted with :3 a ^w^ pawt; 
xDD And >_< Fwance, x3 whose ^-^ awmouw >_> conscience UwU buckwed ;;w;; on, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ zeaw ÚwÚ and xDD chawity ^.^ bwought to x3 the field 
;;w;; As >_> God's UwU own sowdiew, wounded uWu in x3 the ear 
With :3 that same ^w^ puwpose-changew, :3 that sly deviw, 
:33 That >w< bwokew :3 that still >_< bweaks x3 the OwO pate of ^w^ faith, 
:33 That x3 daiwy x3 bweak-vow, ^.^ he :3 that ^w^ wins of all, 
Of OwO kings, of beggaws, ;;w;; owd men, xDD young men, >_< maids, 
Who xDD having nyo ÚwÚ extewnyaw ^.^ thing to wose 
OwO But x3 the ;;w;; wowd >_< 'maid,' cheats x3 the poor >_< maid of :33 that; 
:33 That :33 smooth-fac'd gentweman, >_> tickwing ^-^ commodity, 
Commodity, x3 the :3 bias of x3 the world- 
uWu The ^w^ wowwd, who of itsewf >_> is peised weww, 
Made to >w< wun even ;;w;; upon even ground, 
Tiww ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ advantage, ÚwÚ this viwe-dwawing OwO bias, 
This xDD sway of >w< motion, ÚwÚ this ^-^ commodity, 
:3 Makes >w< it OwO take >_> head from aww indifferency, 
Fwom aww ^w^ diwection, xDD puwpose, course, intent- 
xDD And ÚwÚ this same OwO bias, ÚwÚ this ^-^ commodity, 
This ^w^ bawd, ÚwÚ this broker, ÚwÚ this UwU aww-changing word, 
OwO Cwapp'd on x3 the :33 outwawd ^w^ eye of >_> fickwe >_< Fwance, 
>_< Hath drawn ^.^ him from :33 his UwU own ;;w;; detewmin'd ^w^ aid, 
Fwom :3 a :3 wesowv'd ÚwÚ and ^.^ honyouwabwe waw, 
;;w;; To :3 a UwU most UwU base ÚwÚ and vile-concluded peace. 
xDD And >w< why waiw UwU I on ÚwÚ this commodity? 
OwO But fow uWu because ^.^ he hath nyot woo'd ;;w;; me :33 yet; 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that UwU I uWu have x3 the powew to clutch x3 my uWu hand 
x3 When :33 his >w< faiw ^-^ angews ^.^ wouwd OwO sawute x3 my pawm, 
OwO But fow x3 my uWu hand, >_< as >w< unyattempted ^w^ yet, 
Wike :3 a poor beggar ^w^ waiweth on x3 the ;;w;; wich. 
xDD Weww, whiwes UwU I ^w^ am :3 a beggar, UwU I xDD wiww waiw 
xDD And >_> say there >_> is nyo x3 sin >_> but to be wich; 
xDD And ^.^ being rich, x3 my viwtue xDD then UwU shaww be 
;;w;; To >_> say there >_> is nyo :33 vice >_> but beggary. 
Since >w< kings bweak :33 faith ;;w;; upon ^-^ commodity, 
xDD Gain, be x3 my uWu wowd, fow UwU I xDD wiww :33 wowship thee. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

Fwance. uWu The >_< FWENCH KING'S ÚwÚ camp 

Entew ^w^ CONSTANCE, AWTHUW, ÚwÚ and SALISBURY 

OwO CONSTANCE. Gonye to be married! Gonye to >_< sweaw :3 a peace! 
ÚwÚ Fawse :3 bwood to UwU fawse :3 bwood join'd! Gonye to be ÚwÚ fwiends! 
Shall Lewis uWu have Blanch, ÚwÚ and Blanch UwU those :33 pwovinces? 
^.^ It >_> is nyot so; xDD thou x3 hast OwO misspoke, :33 misheawd; 
^w^ Be weww ^w^ advis'd, tell ^-^ o'ew >w< thy xDD tawe ;;w;; again. 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be; xDD thou dost >_> but >_> say UwU 'tis so; 
UwU I :33 twust UwU I OwO may nyot :33 twust ÚwÚ thee, fow >w< thy ;;w;; wowd 
Is >_> but x3 the :33 vain UwU bweath of :3 a ^w^ common ^w^ man: 
:3 Bewieve ;;w;; me UwU I UwU do nyot ^-^ bewieve ÚwÚ thee, xDD man; 
UwU I uWu have :3 a >_< king's ^-^ oath to x3 the ^.^ contwawy. 
^.^ Thou shalt be punyish'd fow OwO thus ÚwÚ fwighting uWu me, 
For UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick ÚwÚ and capabwe of >_> feaws, 
xDD Oppwess'd with wrongs, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe full of fears; 
^-^ A uWu widow, >_< husbandwess, x3 subject to fears; 
^-^ A ^w^ woman, nyatuwawwy bown to fears; 
xDD And ^w^ though xDD thou nyow x3 confess xDD thou :33 didst >_> but ^.^ jest, 
With x3 my vex'd ;;w;; spiwits UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO take :3 a truce, 
OwO But ;;w;; they xDD wiww quake ÚwÚ and :3 twembwe aww ÚwÚ this x3 day. 
>_> What dost xDD thou >_> mean ^.^ by ^.^ shaking of >w< thy head? 
Why dost xDD thou wook UwU so sadwy on x3 my uWu son? 
>_> What means :3 that uWu hand ;;w;; upon :3 that breast of >_< thinye? 
Why ÚwÚ howds ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye :3 that lamentable rheum, 
Wike :3 a OwO pwoud river peewing ^-^ o'ew :33 his ^-^ bounds? 
^w^ Be these >_> sad signs confiwmews of >w< thy xDD wowds? 
UwU Then speak again-not aww >w< thy xDD fowmew :33 tawe, 
OwO But ÚwÚ this one word, >w< whethew >w< thy xDD tawe be true. 
SAWISBUWY. ;;w;; As true >_< as UwU I ^-^ bewieve xDD you think them UwU fawse 
:33 That UwU give xDD you cause to ^-^ pwuv x3 my :3 saying true. 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_< O, >_> if xDD thou >_< teach ;;w;; me to ^-^ bewieve ÚwÚ this >_> sowwow, 
:3 Teach xDD thou ÚwÚ this sorrow >w< how to >_< make ;;w;; me :3 die; 
xDD And wet bewief ÚwÚ and >w< wife x3 encountew UwU so 
;;w;; As xDD doth x3 the UwU fuwy of >w< two despewate ;;w;; men 
>_< Which uWu in x3 the xDD vewy meeting faww ÚwÚ and ^-^ die! 
Lewis marry >_< Bwanch! x3 O ^-^ boy, xDD then :3 whewe awt thou? 
Fwance :33 fwiend with x3 Engwand; >_> what x3 becomes of me? 
ÚwÚ Fewwow, be gone: UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >w< bwook >w< thy sight; 
This nyews hath UwU made uWu thee :3 a UwU most ugwy man. 
SAWISBUWY. >_> What othew x3 hawm uWu have I, ÚwÚ good UwU wady, donye 
OwO But ^-^ spoke x3 the x3 hawm :3 that >_> is ^.^ by ;;w;; othews done? 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_< Which x3 hawm within itsewf UwU so ;;w;; heinyous >_> is 
;;w;; As >w< it x3 makes ;;w;; hawmfuw aww :3 that speak of :3 it. 
>_> AWTHUW. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, UwU madam, be OwO content. 
OwO CONSTANCE. ;;w;; If xDD thou :3 that ^w^ bid'st ;;w;; me be :3 content OwO wewt ^-^ gwim, 
OwO Ugwy, ÚwÚ and ^-^ swand'wous to >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's womb, 
Full of ;;w;; unpweasing bwots ÚwÚ and sightless stains, 
;;w;; Wame, :33 foowish, :33 cwooked, swawt, ÚwÚ pwodigious, 
Patch'd with fouw >_> mowes ÚwÚ and UwU eye-offending ^w^ mawks, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot care, UwU I xDD then ^.^ wouwd be content; 
For xDD then UwU I >_> shouwd nyot wuv ÚwÚ thee; no, nor xDD thou 
Become >w< thy great birth, nor OwO desewve :3 a crown. 
OwO But xDD thou awt faiw, ÚwÚ and uWu at >w< thy birth, uWu deaw ^-^ boy, 
ÚwÚ Nyatuwe ÚwÚ and :33 Fowtunye OwO join'd to >_< make uWu thee great: 
Of Nyatuwe's ^.^ gifts xDD thou uWu mayst with ^.^ wiwies boast, 
xDD And with x3 the half-blown OwO wose; >_> but ÚwÚ Fowtunye, :3 O! 
:33 She >_> is UwU cowwupted, ^w^ chang'd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ won from ÚwÚ thee; 
Sh' >_< aduwtewates hourly with ^.^ thinye :33 uncwe John, 
xDD And with her golden uWu hand hath ^w^ pwuck'd on Fwance 
;;w;; To ;;w;; twead down >w< faiw wespect of ^.^ suvweignty, 
xDD And UwU made :33 his ^.^ majesty x3 the ;;w;; bawd to theirs. 
Fwance >_> is :3 a ;;w;; bawd to :33 Fowtunye ÚwÚ and ^w^ King uWu John- 
:33 That stwumpet ÚwÚ Fowtunye, :3 that usuwping John! 
Teww uWu me, xDD thou fewwow, >_> is nyot Fwance ÚwÚ fowswown? 
>w< Envenyom ^.^ him with wowds, ow get uWu thee >_> gonye 
xDD And OwO weave UwU those :3 woes awonye which UwU I awonye 
^w^ Am bound to :33 undew-beaw. 
SAWISBUWY. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, UwU madam, 
UwU I OwO may nyot OwO go ^-^ without xDD you to x3 the OwO kings. 
OwO CONSTANCE. ^.^ Thou ^-^ mayst, xDD thou shalt; UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO go with ÚwÚ thee; 
UwU I xDD wiww instwuct x3 my ^w^ sowwows to be :3 pwoud, 
For grief >_> is :3 pwoud, ÚwÚ and x3 makes :33 his owner stoop. 
;;w;; To uWu me, ÚwÚ and to x3 the >w< state of x3 my great gwief, 
Let >w< kings uWu assembwe; fow x3 my grief's UwU so great 
:33 That nyo x3 suppowtew >_> but x3 the >_> huge >w< fiwm ^.^ eawth 
UwU Can howd >w< it :33 up. >_> [Seats herself on x3 the ground] 
:3 Hewe UwU I ÚwÚ and ^w^ sowwows ^.^ sit; 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 my throne, bid >w< kings come bow to :3 it. 

Entew ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ JOHN, ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ PHIWIP, :3 WEWIS, BWANCH, 
ELINOR, x3 the :33 BASTAWD, :33 AUSTWIA, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. 'Tis ^-^ twue, >w< faiw ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this blessed day 
^w^ Evew uWu in Fwance UwU shaww be :33 kept :3 festivaw. 
;;w;; To solemnize ÚwÚ this day x3 the glorious sun 
ÚwÚ Stays uWu in :33 his course ÚwÚ and plays x3 the ^.^ awchemist, 
UwU Tuwnying with xDD spwendouw of :33 his >_< pwecious ^w^ eye 
uWu The :3 meagwe uWu cwoddy ^.^ eawth to gwittewing ;;w;; gowd. 
uWu The yeawwy course :3 that >_< bwings ÚwÚ this day about 
Shall >_< nyevew >_> see >w< it >_> but :3 a holiday. 
OwO CONSTANCE. x3 [Wising] ^-^ A wicked ^-^ day, ÚwÚ and nyot :3 a >w< howy ^.^ day! 
>_> What hath ÚwÚ this day ÚwÚ desewv'd? >_> what hath >w< it donye 
:33 That >w< it uWu in golden x3 wettews >_> shouwd be uWu set 
>_> Among x3 the xDD high uWu tides uWu in x3 the :33 cawendaw? 
Nyay, rather turn ÚwÚ this day x3 out of x3 the ;;w;; week, 
This day of UwU shame, oppwession, perjury; 
:3 Ow, >_> if >w< it ^w^ must stand still, wet ;;w;; wives with chiwd 
>_> Pway :3 that uWu theiw burdens OwO may nyot faww ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, 
Lest :3 that uWu theiw hopes ÚwÚ pwodigiouswy be cross'd; 
OwO But on ÚwÚ this day wet >_< seamen feaw nyo wweck; 
No :3 bawgains bweak :3 that OwO awe nyot ÚwÚ this day ÚwÚ made; 
This ^-^ day, aww ^.^ things ÚwÚ begun come to :33 iww ^w^ end, 
Yea, :33 faith itsewf to OwO howwow UwU fawsehood change! 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU wady, xDD you UwU shaww uWu have nyo cause 
;;w;; To UwU cuwse x3 the >w< faiw proceedings of ÚwÚ this x3 day. 
:3 Have UwU I nyot :3 pawn'd to xDD you x3 my xDD majesty? 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_> You uWu have beguiw'd ;;w;; me with :3 a OwO countewfeit 
>_> Wesembwing ^.^ majesty, ^w^ which, ^.^ being touch'd ÚwÚ and twied, 
Pwuvs valueless; xDD you OwO awe forsworn, uWu fowswown; 
>_> You ^-^ came uWu in :3 awms to ^.^ spiww >_< minye ^.^ enyemies' bwood, 
OwO But nyow uWu in :3 awms xDD you strengthen >w< it with x3 youws. 
uWu The :33 gwappwing >_< vigouw ÚwÚ and OwO wough fwown of >w< waw 
Is UwU cowd uWu in >_< amity ÚwÚ and painted ÚwÚ peace, 
xDD And UwU ouw oppwession hath UwU made x3 up ÚwÚ this ^-^ weague. 
>_< Awm, ^.^ awm, xDD you >w< heavens, OwO against these >w< pewjuw'd OwO kings! 
^-^ A ^.^ widow cries: ^w^ Be :33 husband to uWu me, OwO heavens! 
Let nyot x3 the >_> houws of ÚwÚ this >w< ungodwy day 
:3 Weaw x3 out x3 the day uWu in :3 peace; but, ere sunset, 
Set :3 awmed ^-^ discowd 'twixt these >w< pewjuw'd OwO kings! 
>w< Heaw uWu me, >_< O, hear me! 
x3 AUSTWIA. xDD Wady xDD Constance, peace! 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_> Waw! xDD waw! nyo peace! :3 Peace >_> is to ;;w;; me :3 a waw. 
x3 O ;;w;; Wymoges! x3 O Austria! xDD thou dost ^-^ shame 
:33 That bwoody spoil. ^.^ Thou :33 swave, xDD thou :3 wwetch, xDD thou OwO cowawd! 
^.^ Thou xDD wittwe valiant, great uWu in x3 viwwainy! 
^.^ Thou OwO evew >w< stwong ;;w;; upon x3 the stronger :33 side! 
^.^ Thou Fowtunye's x3 champion :3 that dost >_< nyevew >w< fight 
OwO But when her humorous >w< wadyship >_> is ^.^ by 
;;w;; To >_< teach uWu thee xDD safety! ^.^ Thou awt >w< pewjuw'd :3 too, 
xDD And ^.^ sooth'st x3 up gweatnyess. >_> What :3 a >w< foow awt UwU thou, 
^-^ A wamping x3 foow, to bwag ÚwÚ and stamp ÚwÚ and >_< sweaw 
>_> Upon x3 my pawty! ^.^ Thou >w< cowd-bwooded :33 swave, 
Hast xDD thou nyot ^-^ spoke ^.^ wike >_> thundew on x3 my side, 
:33 Been sworn x3 my sowdiew, OwO bidding ;;w;; me :3 depend 
>_> Upon >w< thy ÚwÚ staws, >w< thy fowtunye, ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_< stwength, 
xDD And dost xDD thou nyow faww uvw to x3 my foes? 
^.^ Thou ^-^ weaw :3 a ;;w;; wion's hide! >w< Doff >w< it fow UwU shame, 
xDD And ^w^ hang :3 a calf's-skin on UwU those xDD wecweant xDD wimbs. 
x3 AUSTWIA. x3 O :3 that :3 a x3 man >_> shouwd speak UwU those wowds to me! 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. xDD And ^w^ hang :3 a calf's-skin on UwU those xDD wecweant xDD wimbs. 
x3 AUSTWIA. ^.^ Thou ^w^ daw'st nyot >_> say >_> so, villain, fow >w< thy life. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. xDD And ^w^ hang :3 a calf's-skin on UwU those xDD wecweant xDD wimbs. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. We ^.^ wike nyot :33 this: xDD thou dost x3 fowget thysewf. 

Entew ^.^ PANDUWPH 

;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the >w< howy wegate of x3 the >_> Pope. 
:33 PANDUWPH. >w< Haiw, xDD you ^-^ anyointed deputies of :3 heaven! 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ King John, x3 my >w< howy x3 ewwand >w< is. 
UwU I Pandulph, of >w< faiw Milan ^-^ cawdinyaw, 
xDD And from ^.^ Pope OwO Innyocent x3 the wegate UwU hewe, 
Do uWu in :33 his xDD nyame x3 wewigiouswy ;;w;; demand 
Why xDD thou OwO against x3 the :3 Chuwch, UwU ouw >w< howy :33 mothew, 
^w^ So uWu wiwfuwwy dost UwU spuwn; ÚwÚ and force ^.^ pewfowce 
^w^ Keep ^w^ Stephen ^.^ Wangton, OwO chosen UwU Awchbishop 
Of Canterbury, from :3 that >w< howy see? 
>w< This, uWu in UwU ouw xDD fowesaid >w< howy father's :33 nyame, 
^.^ Pope >_> Innyocent, UwU I UwU do ;;w;; demand of thee. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_> What ÚwÚ eawthwy xDD nyame to >_< intewwogatowies 
UwU Can :3 task x3 the fwee UwU bweath of :3 a uWu sacwed UwU king? 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst >_> nyot, Cardinal, >w< devise :3 a xDD nyame 
^w^ So >_< swight, ^-^ unwowthy, ÚwÚ and widicuwous, 
;;w;; To :3 chawge ;;w;; me to >w< an ÚwÚ answew, >_< as x3 the >_> Pope. 
Teww ^.^ him ÚwÚ this :33 tawe, ÚwÚ and from x3 the xDD mouth of England 
;;w;; Add OwO thus much >_> mowe, :3 that nyo Itawian priest 
Shall >w< tithe ow ^w^ toww uWu in UwU ouw ^w^ dominyions; 
OwO But >_< as ^.^ we :33 undew heaven OwO awe supweme head, 
So, :33 undew xDD Him :3 that great xDD supwemacy, 
Whewe ^.^ we UwU do OwO weign ^.^ we xDD wiww awonye uphold, 
Without x3 th' ^.^ assistance of :3 a >w< mowtaw >w< hand. 
^w^ So tell x3 the :3 Pope, aww ^w^ wevewence uWu set UwU apawt 
;;w;; To ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :33 his usuwp'd authowity. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^-^ Bwothew of England, xDD you ÚwÚ bwaspheme uWu in UwU this. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ;;w;; Though xDD you ÚwÚ and aww x3 the >w< kings of ;;w;; Chwistendom 
^w^ Awe x3 wed UwU so grossly ^.^ by ÚwÚ this meddling ;;w;; pwiest, 
Dweading x3 the UwU cuwse :3 that monyey OwO may UwU buy ^.^ out, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the merit of ^-^ viwe ^.^ gowd, dross, :33 dust, 
^.^ Puwchase cowwupted UwU pawdon of :3 a ^w^ man, 
Who uWu in :3 that sawe sewws UwU pawdon from himself- 
;;w;; Though xDD you ÚwÚ and aww x3 the ^-^ west, UwU so grossly ;;w;; wed, 
This ^-^ juggwing uWu witchcwaft with >_> wevenyue cherish; 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^-^ awonye, awonye UwU do ;;w;; me ;;w;; oppose 
^w^ Against x3 the :3 Pope, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; count :33 his ^w^ fwiends x3 my foes. 
:33 PANDUWPH. UwU Then ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ wawfuw powew :3 that UwU I uWu have 
^.^ Thou shalt stand curs'd ÚwÚ and excommunicate; 
xDD And blessed UwU shaww ^.^ he be :3 that xDD doth ;;w;; wevowt 
Fwom :33 his OwO awwegiance to >w< an hewetic; 
xDD And ^w^ mewitowious UwU shaww :3 that uWu hand be ;;w;; caww'd, 
Canyonyized, ÚwÚ and wowshipp'd >_< as :3 a UwU saint, 
:33 That UwU takes OwO away ^.^ by xDD any secret course 
x3 Thy hateful life. 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_< O, ÚwÚ wawfuw wet >w< it be 
:33 That UwU I uWu have >_> woom with ÚwÚ Wome to UwU cuwse awhile! 
^-^ Good >w< fathew Cardinal, cwy xDD thou 'amen' 
;;w;; To x3 my >_> keen xDD cuwses; fow ^-^ without x3 my wrong 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo >_> tongue hath powew to UwU cuwse ^.^ him ÚwÚ wight. 
:33 PANDUWPH. >_> Thewe's law ÚwÚ and warrant, UwU wady, fow x3 my cuwse. 
OwO CONSTANCE. xDD And fow >_< minye :3 too; when law ^.^ can UwU do nyo wight, 
Let >w< it be ÚwÚ wawfuw :3 that law ^-^ baw nyo >_> wwong; 
Waw ;;w;; cannyot UwU give x3 my chiwd :33 his ^w^ kingdom UwU hewe, 
For ^.^ he :3 that ÚwÚ howds :33 his ^w^ kingdom ÚwÚ howds x3 the UwU waw; 
>_< Thewefowe, xDD since law itsewf >_> is :3 pewfect wwong, 
How ^.^ can x3 the law UwU fowbid x3 my >_> tongue to curse? 
:33 PANDUWPH. ^.^ Phiwip of >_< Fwance, on peril of :3 a cuwse, 
Let OwO go x3 the uWu hand of :3 that ÚwÚ awch-hewetic, 
xDD And >w< waise x3 the powew of Fwance ;;w;; upon :33 his head, 
OwO Unwess ^.^ he UwU do :3 submit >_< himsewf to xDD Wome. 
:3 EWINyOW. xDD Wook'st xDD thou pawe, France? Do nyot wet OwO go >w< thy >w< hand. 
OwO CONSTANCE. Wook to :3 that, deviw, xDD west :3 that Fwance wepent 
xDD And ^.^ by uWu disjoinying ^.^ hands heww wose :3 a ^-^ souw. 
x3 AUSTWIA. ^w^ King xDD Phiwip, xDD wisten to x3 the Cawdinyaw. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. xDD And ^w^ hang :3 a calf's-skin on :33 his xDD wecweant xDD wimbs. 
x3 AUSTWIA. xDD Weww, ^-^ wuffian, UwU I ^w^ must uWu pocket x3 up these wrongs, 
Because- 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. uWu Youw OwO bweeches best OwO may carry OwO them. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. xDD Phiwip, >_> what say'st xDD thou to x3 the ÚwÚ Cawdinyaw? 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_> What >_> shouwd ^.^ he say, >_> but >_< as x3 the ÚwÚ Cawdinyaw? 
xDD WEWIS. ^w^ Bethink UwU you, father; fow x3 the ^.^ diffewence 
Is puwchase of :3 a x3 heavy UwU cuwse from ÚwÚ Wome 
:33 Ow x3 the >w< wight ^-^ woss of England fow :3 a :3 fwiend. 
Forgo x3 the easiew. 
>w< BWANCH. >w< That's x3 the UwU cuwse of xDD Wome. 
OwO CONSTANCE. x3 O Wewis, stand :33 fast! uWu The ^.^ deviw tempts uWu thee OwO hewe 
^w^ In xDD wikenyess of :3 a x3 nyew ^-^ untwimmed bride. 
>w< BWANCH. uWu The xDD Wady Constance xDD speaks nyot from her ^w^ faith, 
OwO But from her ^w^ nyeed. 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_< O, >_> if xDD thou gwant x3 my need, 
>_< Which >w< onwy ;;w;; wives >_> but ^.^ by x3 the :33 death of ^w^ faith, 
:33 That >_< nyeed ^w^ must >_< nyeeds infer ÚwÚ this principle- 
:33 That :33 faith ^.^ wouwd ^w^ wive again ^.^ by :33 death of ^w^ nyeed. 
x3 O >w< then, ;;w;; twead down x3 my need, ÚwÚ and :33 faith ^-^ mounts OwO up: 
^w^ Keep x3 my >_< nyeed up, ÚwÚ and :33 faith >_> is UwU twodden ^-^ down! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. uWu The ^w^ King >_> is x3 mov'd, ÚwÚ and ^-^ answews nyot to UwU this. 
OwO CONSTANCE. x3 O be >w< wemov'd from :3 him, ÚwÚ and answew OwO weww! 
x3 AUSTWIA. Do >_> so, ^w^ King :33 Phiwip; ^w^ hang nyo ^.^ mowe uWu in ^-^ doubt. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Hang >_< nyothing >_> but :3 a cawf's-skin, UwU most x3 sweet lout. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. UwU I ^w^ am >_< pewpwex'd ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what to :3 say. 
:33 PANDUWPH. >_> What ;;w;; canst xDD thou >_> say >_> but xDD wiww >w< pewpwex uWu thee >_> mowe, 
;;w;; If xDD thou stand :3 excommunyicate ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cuws'd? 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^-^ Good reverend ÚwÚ fathew, >_< make x3 my ÚwÚ pewson >_< youws, 
xDD And tell ;;w;; me >w< how xDD you ^.^ wouwd bestow OwO youwsewf. 
This royal uWu hand ÚwÚ and >_< minye OwO awe x3 nyewwy >_< knyit, 
xDD And x3 the conjunction of UwU ouw inward >w< souws 
uWu Mawwied uWu in OwO weague, coupwed ÚwÚ and wink'd togethew 
With aww religious ÚwÚ stwength of uWu sacwed ^.^ vows; 
uWu The ^-^ watest UwU bweath :3 that uWu gave x3 the >_> sound of wowds 
Was deep-sworn ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ peace, OwO amity, true xDD wuv, 
Between UwU ouw OwO kingdoms ÚwÚ and UwU ouw royal :33 sewves; 
xDD And even >w< befowe ÚwÚ this truce, >_> but x3 nyew x3 befowe, 
No longer than ^.^ we weww couwd >_< wash UwU ouw ^.^ hands, 
;;w;; To >_< cwap ÚwÚ this royal ^w^ bawgain x3 up of ÚwÚ peace, 
uWu Heaven ;;w;; knyows, ;;w;; they :3 wewe ;;w;; besmeaw'd ÚwÚ and >_< uvwstain'd 
With slaughter's ^w^ penciw, :3 whewe xDD wevenge uWu did OwO paint 
uWu The x3 feawfuw ^.^ diffewence of uWu incensed OwO kings. 
xDD And UwU shaww these ^.^ hands, UwU so :3 watewy purg'd of bwood, 
^w^ So x3 nyewwy OwO join'd uWu in xDD wuv, UwU so >w< stwong uWu in xDD both, 
Unyoke ÚwÚ this seizure ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this uWu kind regreet? 
>_> Pway ÚwÚ fast ÚwÚ and ;;w;; woose with OwO faith? UwU so xDD jest with ^.^ heaven, 
^-^ Make xDD such ÚwÚ unconstant x3 chiwdwen of ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
;;w;; As nyow again to snatch UwU ouw ^.^ pawm from pawm, 
UwU Unsweaw :33 faith sworn, ÚwÚ and on x3 the marriage-bed 
Of x3 smiwing uWu peace to :33 mawch :3 a bwoody >_< host, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a riot on x3 the ^-^ gentwe ^w^ bwow 
Of true sincewity? >_< O, >w< howy ^w^ siw, 
OwO My reverend ÚwÚ fathew, wet >w< it nyot be so! 
UwU Out of x3 youw gwace, ^w^ devise, ordain, >_< impose, 
;;w;; Some ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; owdew; ÚwÚ and xDD then ^.^ we UwU shaww be bwest 
;;w;; To UwU do x3 youw x3 pweasuwe, ÚwÚ and >w< continyue fwiends. 
:33 PANDUWPH. All >_< fowm >_> is formless, order >w< owdewwess, 
:3 Save >_> what >_> is opposite to Engwand's love. 
>_< Thewefowe, to >_> awms! be x3 champion of UwU ouw :33 chuwch, 
:33 Ow wet x3 the :33 chuwch, UwU ouw :33 mothew, ;;w;; bweathe her curse- 
^-^ A ;;w;; mothew's ^-^ cuwse-on her uWu wevowting OwO son. 
>_< Fwance, xDD thou uWu mayst howd :3 a serpent ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; tongue, 
^-^ A chafed wion ^.^ by x3 the >w< mowtaw OwO paw, 
^-^ A ;;w;; fasting tiger safer ^.^ by x3 the >_> tooth, 
Than >_< keep uWu in uWu peace :3 that uWu hand which xDD thou dost hold. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. UwU I OwO may ^-^ disjoin x3 my uWu hand, >_> but nyot x3 my ÚwÚ faith. 
:33 PANDUWPH. ^w^ So xDD mak'st xDD thou :33 faith >w< an ;;w;; enyemy to xDD faith; 
xDD And >_> wike. :3 a ÚwÚ civiw >w< waw :33 set'st ^-^ oath to uWu oath. 
x3 Thy >_> tongue OwO against >w< thy :33 tongue. >_< O, wet >w< thy vow 
First UwU made to ^.^ heaven, xDD fiwst be to heaven pewfowm'd, 
:33 That ;;w;; is, to be x3 the x3 champion of UwU ouw Church. 
>_> What xDD since xDD thou >_> swow'st >_> is sworn OwO against >w< thysewf 
xDD And OwO may nyot be ^.^ pewfowmed ^.^ by ;;w;; thysewf, 
For :3 that which xDD thou x3 hast sworn to UwU do uWu amiss 
Is nyot uWu amiss when >w< it >_> is :33 twuwy donye; 
xDD And ^.^ being nyot :33 donye, :3 whewe xDD doing tends to UwU iww, 
uWu The uWu twuth >_> is xDD then UwU most donye nyot xDD doing uWu it; 
uWu The xDD bettew ;;w;; act of uWu puwposes >_> mistook 
Is to ÚwÚ mistake again; ^w^ though uWu indiwect, 
ÚwÚ Yet x3 indiwection theweby gwows >_> diwect, 
xDD And UwU fawsehood ;;w;; cuwes, >_< as fire UwU coows fire 
OwO Within x3 the scowched >_> veins of one new-burn'd. 
^.^ It >_> is :33 wewigion :3 that xDD doth >_< make x3 vows >_< kept; 
OwO But xDD thou x3 hast sworn OwO against :33 wewigion 
^-^ By >_> what xDD thou >_< sweaw'st OwO against x3 the ^.^ thing xDD thou :3 sweaw'st, 
xDD And xDD mak'st >w< an ^-^ oath x3 the surety fow >w< thy uWu twuth 
^w^ Against >w< an uWu oath; x3 the uWu twuth xDD thou awt unsuwe 
;;w;; To >_< sweaw ÚwÚ sweaws >w< onwy nyot to be uWu fowswown; 
^-^ Ewse >_> what :3 a mockewy >_> shouwd >w< it be to sweaw! 
OwO But xDD thou dost >_< sweaw >w< onwy to be uWu fowswown; 
xDD And UwU most ;;w;; fowswown to >_< keep >_> what xDD thou dost OwO sweaw. 
Therefore >w< thy UwU watew x3 vows OwO against >w< thy xDD fiwst 
Is uWu in >w< thysewf ;;w;; webewwion to xDD thysewf; 
xDD And xDD bettew conquest >_< nyevew ;;w;; canst xDD thou >_< make 
Than awm >w< thy ^w^ constant ÚwÚ and >w< thy >w< nyobwew parts 
^w^ Against these ^-^ giddy ;;w;; woose xDD suggestions; 
>_> Upon which xDD bettew ÚwÚ pawt UwU ouw :33 pway'ws come x3 in, 
;;w;; If xDD thou x3 vouchsafe OwO them. OwO But >_> if >_> nyot, xDD then ^.^ knyow 
uWu The peril of UwU ouw cuwses >w< fight on uWu thee 
^w^ So x3 heavy >_< as xDD thou shalt nyot ;;w;; shake them ^w^ off, 
OwO But uWu in despair ^-^ die :33 undew x3 the black ^.^ weight. 
x3 AUSTWIA. Webewwion, flat ÚwÚ webewwion! 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Will't nyot :3 be? 
Will nyot :3 a calf's-skin ÚwÚ stop :3 that xDD mouth of >_< thinye? 
xDD WEWIS. :3 Fathew, to >_> awms! 
>w< BWANCH. >_> Upon >w< thy ^-^ wedding-day? 
^w^ Against x3 the :3 bwood :3 that xDD thou x3 hast uWu mawwied? 
What, UwU shaww UwU ouw >_> feast be :33 kept with swaughtewed men? 
Shall ;;w;; bwaying trumpets ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ woud churlish drums, 
uWu Cwamouws of >_> heww, be ^-^ measuwes to UwU ouw uWu pomp? 
x3 O ^.^ husband, hear me! :33 ay, awack, >w< how x3 nyew 
Is UwU 'husband' uWu in x3 my ^-^ mouth! even fow :3 that :33 nyame, 
>_< Which >w< tiww ÚwÚ this time x3 my >_> tongue uWu did ^w^ nye'ew OwO pwonyounce, 
>_> Upon x3 my knyee UwU I xDD beg, OwO go nyot to :3 awms 
^w^ Against >_< minye uncle. 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_< O, ;;w;; upon x3 my OwO knyee, 
Made x3 hawd with knyeewing, UwU I UwU do pray to ÚwÚ thee, 
^.^ Thou virtuous ÚwÚ Dauphin, x3 awtew nyot x3 the >_< doom 
uWu Fowethought ^.^ by :3 heaven! 
>w< BWANCH. Now UwU shaww UwU I >_> see >w< thy love. >_> What motive OwO may 
^w^ Be stronger with uWu thee than x3 the xDD nyame of :33 wife? 
OwO CONSTANCE. :33 That which upholdeth ^.^ him :3 that uWu thee >_> uphowds, 
ÚwÚ His honyouw. >_< O, ^.^ thinye honyouw, Wewis, ^.^ thinye ^-^ honyouw! 
xDD WEWIS. UwU I >_< muse x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty xDD doth xDD seem UwU so >_< cowd, 
x3 When xDD such profound UwU wespects UwU do puww xDD you :3 on. 
:33 PANDUWPH. UwU I xDD wiww xDD denyounce :3 a UwU cuwse ;;w;; upon :33 his >_> head. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^.^ Thou shalt nyot ^w^ nyeed. England, UwU I xDD wiww faww from thee. 
OwO CONSTANCE. x3 O >w< faiw ^-^ wetuwn of banyish'd ^.^ majesty! 
:3 EWINyOW. x3 O fouw ;;w;; wevowt of OwO Fwench xDD inconstancy! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_< Fwance, xDD thou shalt rue ÚwÚ this >_> houw within ÚwÚ this hour. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^-^ Owd ^-^ Time x3 the clock-setter, :3 that ;;w;; bawd >_> sexton Time, 
Is >w< it >_< as ^.^ he xDD wiww? Weww >w< then, Fwance UwU shaww xDD wue. 
>w< BWANCH. uWu The sun's :33 o'ewcast with blood. Faiw ^-^ day, ^w^ adieu! 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the x3 side :3 that UwU I ^w^ must OwO go uWu withaw? 
UwU I ^w^ am with :3 both: >_< each ^.^ awmy hath :3 a xDD hand; 
xDD And uWu in uWu theiw rage, UwU I xDD having howd of xDD both, 
^-^ They whirl asundew ÚwÚ and ;;w;; dismembew x3 me. 
:3 Husband, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot pray :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst xDD win; 
>_> Uncwe, UwU I >_< nyeeds ^w^ must pray :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst OwO wose; 
:3 Fathew, UwU I OwO may nyot ÚwÚ wish x3 the :3 fowtunye thine; 
Grandam, UwU I xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ wish >w< thy wishes :33 thwive. 
ÚwÚ Whoevew wins, on :3 that x3 side UwU shaww UwU I lose: 
Assuwed ^-^ woss >w< befowe x3 the >_< match be ÚwÚ pway'd. 
xDD WEWIS. Lady, with uWu me, with ;;w;; me >w< thy :3 fowtunye uWu wies. 
>w< BWANCH. >_> Thewe :3 whewe x3 my :3 fowtunye lives, there x3 my >w< wife OwO dies. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Cousin, OwO go dwaw UwU ouw puissance together. 
uWu Exit BASTARD 
>_< Fwance, UwU I ^w^ am burn'd x3 up with >_< infwaming :33 wwath, 
^-^ A xDD wage x3 whose ^.^ heat hath ÚwÚ this condition 
:33 That >_< nyothing ^.^ can x3 awway, >_< nyothing >_> but bwood, 
uWu The bwood, ÚwÚ and deawest-vawu'd bwood, of Fwance. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. x3 Thy xDD wage UwU shaww buwn uWu thee up, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt turn 
;;w;; To :3 ashes, ere UwU ouw :3 bwood UwU shaww quench :3 that >_> fiwe. 
Wook to ;;w;; thysewf, xDD thou awt uWu in jeopawdy. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. No ^.^ mowe than ^.^ he :3 that threats. ;;w;; To :3 awms >_> wet's >w< hie! 
Exeunt uWu sevewawwy 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

Fwance. Plains nyeaw >_> Angiews 

Awawums, ^w^ excuwsions. Entew x3 the BASTARD with uWu AUSTWIA'S >_> head 

ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my :3 wife, ÚwÚ this day gwows wondwous ^.^ hot; 
;;w;; Some airy ^.^ deviw huvws uWu in x3 the sky 
xDD And UwU pouws down >w< mischief. uWu Austwia's >_> head >_< wie thewe, 
While ^.^ Phiwip :33 bweathes. 

Entew ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ JOHN, AWTHUW, ÚwÚ and >_< HUBEWT 

;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Hubewt, >_< keep ÚwÚ this uWu boy. xDD Phiwip, >_< make OwO up: 
OwO My mothew >_> is >w< assaiwed uWu in UwU ouw x3 tent, 
xDD And x3 ta'en, UwU I ;;w;; feaw. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I rescued >w< hew; 
:3 Hew >_> Highnyess >_> is uWu in safety, feaw xDD you x3 nyot; 
OwO But ;;w;; on, x3 my ^.^ wiege, fow xDD vewy xDD wittwe ^w^ pains 
Will ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ this labour to >w< an ^w^ happy OwO end. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

Fwance. Plains nyeaw >_> Angiews 

Awawums, excursions, retreat. Entew ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ JOHN, ELINOR, AWTHUW, 
x3 the :33 BASTAWD, OwO HUBEWT, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 

;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. :33 [To EWINyOW] ^w^ So UwU shaww >w< it be; x3 youw Gwace UwU shaww xDD stay 
behind, 
^w^ So >_< stwongwy guarded. :33 [To AWTHUW] Cousin, wook nyot OwO sad; 
x3 Thy :3 gwandam loves ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and >w< thy :33 uncwe xDD wiww 
;;w;; As uWu deaw be to uWu thee >_< as >w< thy >w< fathew uWu was. 
>_> AWTHUW. >_< O, ÚwÚ this xDD wiww >_< make x3 my mothew ^-^ die with xDD gwief! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. :33 [To x3 the x3 BASTAWD] Cousin, OwO away fow England! ^.^ haste 
x3 befowe, 
^.^ And, ere UwU ouw uWu coming, >_> see xDD thou ;;w;; shake x3 the ;;w;; bags 
Of hoawding :3 abbots; x3 impwisonyed ^-^ angews 
Set uWu at xDD wibewty; x3 the :33 fat OwO wibs of uWu peace 
:3 Must ^.^ by x3 the hungwy nyow be ÚwÚ fed ^w^ upon. 
^w^ Use UwU ouw OwO commission uWu in :33 his utmost >_> fowce. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^-^ Beww, ^-^ book, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ candwe, UwU shaww nyot UwU dwive ;;w;; me back, 
x3 When gowd ÚwÚ and :33 siwvew becks ;;w;; me to come :3 on. 
UwU I OwO weave x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. Grandam, UwU I xDD wiww pray, 
;;w;; If OwO evew UwU I remember to be ;;w;; howy, 
For x3 youw >w< faiw >w< safety. So, UwU I :3 kiss x3 youw >w< hand. 
:3 EWINyOW. UwU Faweweww, ^-^ gentwe :33 cousin. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Coz, farewell. 
uWu Exit BASTARD 
:3 EWINyOW. :3 Come hithew, xDD wittwe kinsman; hark, :3 a OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. :3 Come hithew, x3 Hubewt. x3 O x3 my ^-^ gentwe Hubewt, 
We >_> owe uWu thee x3 much! OwO Within ÚwÚ this waww of >w< fwesh 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a :3 souw counts uWu thee her :3 cweditow, 
xDD And with ^w^ advantage means to x3 pay >w< thy love; 
^.^ And, x3 my ÚwÚ good fwiend, >w< thy ;;w;; vowuntawy ^-^ oath 
Wives uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 bosom, ÚwÚ deawwy :3 chewished. 
Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. UwU I xDD had :3 a ^.^ thing to UwU say- 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; fit >w< it with x3 some xDD bettew uWu time. 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, Hubewt, UwU I ^w^ am almost >w< asham'd 
;;w;; To >_> say >_> what ÚwÚ good wespect UwU I uWu have of thee. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. UwU I ^w^ am much :33 bounden to x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^-^ Good fwiend, xDD thou x3 hast nyo cause to >_> say UwU so ^w^ yet, 
OwO But xDD thou shalt uWu have; ÚwÚ and :3 cweep time ^w^ nye'ew UwU so swow, 
ÚwÚ Yet >w< it UwU shaww come fow ;;w;; me to UwU do uWu thee UwU good. 
UwU I xDD had :3 a ^.^ thing to xDD say-but wet >w< it :33 go: 
uWu The sun >_> is uWu in x3 the ^.^ heaven, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO pwoud ^-^ day, 
Attended with x3 the >_< pweasuwes of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
Is aww ^w^ too >_< wanton ÚwÚ and ^w^ too full of OwO gawds 
;;w;; To UwU give ;;w;; me audience. ;;w;; If x3 the ;;w;; midnyight beww 
Did with :33 his iwon >_> tongue ÚwÚ and ^-^ bwazen xDD mouth 
Sound on x3 into x3 the ^-^ dwowsy race of ^w^ nyight; 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this same :3 wewe :3 a x3 chuwchyawd :3 whewe ^.^ we x3 stand, 
xDD And xDD thou >_> possessed with :3 a thousand wwongs; 
:33 Ow >_> if :3 that uWu suwwy ^-^ spiwit, UwU mewanchowy, 
xDD Had ^.^ bak'd >w< thy :3 bwood ÚwÚ and UwU made >w< it OwO heavy-thick, 
>_< Which >_> ewse wuns >_> tickwing x3 up ÚwÚ and down x3 the >_> veins, 
^.^ Making :3 that idiot, waughtew, >_< keep men's eyes 
xDD And ;;w;; stwain uWu theiw >_> cheeks to idle :33 mewwiment, 
^-^ A passion hateful to x3 my ;;w;; puwposes; 
:33 Ow >_> if :3 that xDD thou ^w^ couwdst >_> see ;;w;; me ^-^ without ^w^ eyes, 
>w< Heaw ;;w;; me ^-^ without ^.^ thinye cars, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^-^ wepwy 
Without :3 a ;;w;; tongue, UwU using conceit ^-^ awonye, 
Without ^w^ eyes, ;;w;; eaws, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; hawmfuw >_> sound of words- 
Then, uWu in ;;w;; despite of ^.^ bwooded ÚwÚ watchfuw ^-^ day, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 into >w< thy ^w^ bosom pouw x3 my >w< thoughts. 
But, UwU ah, UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ nyot! ÚwÚ Yet UwU I wuv uWu thee well; 
^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 my troth, UwU I think xDD thou >_> wov'st ;;w;; me well. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ^w^ So weww :3 that >_> what xDD you bid ;;w;; me undertake, 
;;w;; Though :3 that x3 my :33 death :3 wewe UwU adjunct to x3 my ;;w;; act, 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU do :3 it. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Do nyot UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou ;;w;; wouwdst? 
^-^ Good Hubewt, Hubewt, Hubewt, ^-^ thwow ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye 
On >_< yon xDD young uWu boy. I'll tell uWu thee x3 what, x3 my fwiend, 
>w< He >_> is :3 a xDD vewy serpent uWu in x3 my way; 
xDD And x3 whewesoe'ew ÚwÚ this :33 foot of >_< minye xDD doth tread, 
>w< He wies >w< befowe x3 me. uWu Dost xDD thou understand me? 
^.^ Thou awt :33 his x3 keepew. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. xDD And I'll >_< keep ^.^ him UwU so 
:33 That ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot ^-^ offend x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Death. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. OwO My xDD wowd? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^-^ A x3 gwave. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. >w< He UwU shaww nyot wive. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Enough! 
UwU I couwd be ^.^ mewwy now. Hubewt, UwU I wuv thee. 
xDD Weww, I'll nyot >_> say >_> what UwU I intend fow thee. 
^w^ Wemembew. uWu Madam, ^-^ fawe xDD you well; 
I'll >_> send UwU those ÚwÚ powews ^-^ o'ew to x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
:3 EWINyOW. OwO My >_> bwessing OwO go with uWu thee! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. :33 [To AWTHUW] For England, OwO cousin, go; 
Hubert UwU shaww be x3 youw ^w^ man, >_< attend on xDD you 
With aww true duty. On toward OwO Cawais, ho! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

Fwance. uWu The >_< FWENCH ^.^ KING's ÚwÚ camp 

Entew ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ PHIWIP, :3 WEWIS, PANDULPH, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. ^w^ So ^.^ by :3 a xDD woawing UwU tempest on x3 the flood 
^-^ A whole awmado of convicted saiw 
Is x3 scattewed ÚwÚ and :3 disjoin'd from UwU fewwowship. 
:33 PANDUWPH. ^.^ Couwage ÚwÚ and comfort! All UwU shaww yet OwO go well. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. >_> What ^.^ can OwO go weww, when ^.^ we uWu have >w< wun UwU so ill. 
^w^ Awe ^.^ we nyot xDD beaten? Is nyot >_> Angiews lost? 
Awthuw >_> ta'en prisoner? Divews uWu deaw ^w^ fwiends slain? 
xDD And bwoody England x3 into England >w< gonye, 
>_> O'ewbeawing xDD intewwuption, x3 spite of France? 
xDD WEWIS. ^.^ he hath >_> won, :3 that hath ^.^ he >_> fowtified; 
^w^ So :3 hot :3 a ^w^ speed with xDD such advice uWu dispos'd, 
>w< Such ^w^ tempewate order uWu in UwU so >_< fiewce :3 a >_< cause, 
^-^ Doth ^.^ want exampwe; who hath ^w^ wead ow heard 
Of xDD any >w< kindwed uWu action ^.^ wike to :3 this? 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. Weww couwd UwU I UwU beaw :3 that England xDD had ÚwÚ this >_< pwaise, 
^w^ So ^.^ we couwd find x3 some pattewn of UwU ouw ;;w;; shame. 

Entew CONSTANCE 

Wook who x3 comes here! :3 a :3 gwave >w< unto :3 a ^.^ souw; 
Holding x3 th' xDD etewnyaw ^-^ spiwit, OwO against her :33 wiww, 
^w^ In x3 the ^-^ viwe :3 pwison of afflicted >_< bweath. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, UwU wady, OwO go OwO away with x3 me. 
OwO CONSTANCE. >_> Wo >_< nyow! nyow >_> see x3 the x3 issue of x3 youw peace! 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. >w< Patience, ÚwÚ good :33 wady! :3 Comfowt, ^-^ gentwe ^w^ Constance! 
OwO CONSTANCE. :3 Nyo, UwU I ^.^ defy aww counsew, aww :33 wedwess, 
OwO But :3 that which uWu ends aww counsew, true UwU wedwess- 
Death, ÚwÚ death; x3 O :3 amiabwe lovely ;;w;; death! 
^.^ Thou >w< odowifewous ÚwÚ stench! >_> sound >_> wottennyess! 
Awise fowth from x3 the UwU couch of :3 wasting night, 
^.^ Thou ^-^ hate ÚwÚ and tewwow to prosperity, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww :3 kiss >w< thy ^.^ detestabwe xDD bonyes, 
xDD And put x3 my ^w^ eyebawws uWu in >w< thy :3 vauwty brows, 
xDD And OwO wing these x3 fingews with >w< thy :33 househowd ÚwÚ wowms, 
xDD And ÚwÚ stop ÚwÚ this uWu gap of UwU bweath with fulsome :33 dust, 
xDD And be :3 a OwO cawwion monstew ^.^ wike thysewf. 
^.^ Come, >w< gwin on uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww think xDD thou smiw'st, 
xDD And buss uWu thee >_< as >w< thy x3 wife. xDD Misewy's xDD wuv, 
>_< O, come to me! 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. x3 O >w< faiw ^-^ affwiction, peace! 
OwO CONSTANCE. :3 Nyo, no, UwU I xDD wiww >_> nyot, xDD having UwU bweath to ^-^ cwy. 
x3 O :3 that x3 my >_> tongue :3 wewe uWu in x3 the ^w^ thundew's ^-^ mouth! 
UwU Then with :3 a passion ^.^ wouwd UwU I ;;w;; shake x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
xDD And wouse from :33 sweep :3 that UwU feww anyatomy 
>_< Which ;;w;; cannyot hear :3 a >_> wady's feebwe voice, 
>_< Which scorns :3 a modern ^-^ invocation. 
:33 PANDUWPH. Lady, xDD you :33 uttew ^-^ madnyess ÚwÚ and nyot ;;w;; sowwow. 
OwO CONSTANCE. ^.^ Thou awt nyot >w< howy to belie ;;w;; me :3 so. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot :3 mad: ÚwÚ this >_< haiw UwU I teaw >_> is minye; 
OwO My xDD nyame >_> is Constance; UwU I UwU was Geffwey's :33 wife; 
Young Awthuw >_> is x3 my x3 son, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is :3 wost. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot :3 mad-I ^.^ wouwd to heaven UwU I were! 
For xDD then UwU 'tis ^.^ wike UwU I >_> shouwd x3 fowget :3 mysewf. 
>_< O, >_> if UwU I couwd, >_> what grief >_> shouwd UwU I UwU fowget! 
Preach x3 some x3 phiwosophy to >_< make ;;w;; me mad, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt be canyonyiz'd, Cardinal; 
For, ^.^ being nyot mad, >_> but ^-^ sensibwe of gwief, 
OwO My ^.^ weasonyabwe ÚwÚ pawt produces reason 
How UwU I OwO may be :33 dewivew'd of these :33 woes, 
xDD And teaches ;;w;; me to OwO kiww ow ^w^ hang :3 mysewf. 
;;w;; If UwU I :3 wewe ^-^ mad UwU I >_> shouwd x3 fowget x3 my x3 son, 
:33 Ow madly think :3 a >w< babe of cwouts :3 wewe he. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot >w< mad; ^w^ too weww, ^w^ too weww UwU I x3 feew 
uWu The different pwague of >_< each calamity. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. Bind x3 up UwU those >_> twesses. >_< O, >_> what wuv UwU I ^-^ nyote 
^w^ In x3 the >w< faiw ^.^ muwtitude of UwU those her hairs! 
Whewe >_> but ^.^ by :3 a chance :3 a :33 siwvew >_< dwop hath >_< faww'n, 
Even to :3 that >_< dwop ;;w;; ten thousand ;;w;; wiwy ^w^ fwiends 
Do gwue x3 themsewves uWu in x3 sociabwe gwief, 
Wike ^-^ twue, ^.^ insepawabwe, faithfuw wuvs, 
Sticking togethew uWu in calamity. 
OwO CONSTANCE. ;;w;; To England, >_> if xDD you :33 wiww. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. Bind x3 up x3 youw x3 haiws. 
OwO CONSTANCE. Yes, :3 that UwU I :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and ^-^ whewefowe xDD wiww UwU I UwU do :33 it? 
UwU I >w< towe them from uWu theiw bonds, ÚwÚ and cried >_< awoud 
^w^ 'O :3 that these ^.^ hands couwd UwU so xDD wedeem x3 my x3 son, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they uWu have UwU given these >_< haiws uWu theiw wibewty!' 
OwO But nyow UwU I :3 envy uWu at uWu theiw >w< wibewty, 
xDD And xDD wiww again :3 commit them to uWu theiw bonds, 
>_< Because x3 my poor chiwd >_> is :3 a ^w^ pwisonyew. 
^.^ And, >w< fathew Cardinal, UwU I uWu have heard xDD you >_> say 
:33 That ^.^ we UwU shaww >_> see ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow UwU ouw ^w^ fwiends uWu in xDD heaven; 
;;w;; If :3 that be ^-^ twue, UwU I UwU shaww >_> see x3 my ;;w;; boy again; 
For xDD since x3 the birth of Cain, x3 the xDD fiwst male child, 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that uWu did >_> but ;;w;; yestewday suspire, 
>_> Thewe UwU was nyot xDD such :3 a >_> gwacious creature born. 
OwO But nyow xDD wiww ;;w;; cankew sorrow eat x3 my >w< bud 
xDD And OwO chase x3 the OwO nyative beauty from :33 his OwO cheek, 
xDD And ^.^ he xDD wiww wook >_< as OwO howwow >_< as :3 a ;;w;; ghost, 
;;w;; As dim ÚwÚ and :3 meagwe >_< as >w< an >w< ague's :33 fit; 
xDD And UwU so he'ww :3 die; x3 and, ;;w;; wising UwU so OwO again, 
x3 When UwU I UwU shaww :3 meet ^.^ him uWu in x3 the court of heaven 
UwU I UwU shaww nyot ^.^ knyow ^.^ him. Therefore ;;w;; nyevew, >_< nyevew 
:3 Must UwU I behowd x3 my OwO pwetty Awthuw more. 
:33 PANDUWPH. >_> You howd ^w^ too ;;w;; heinyous :3 a wespect of ÚwÚ gwief. 
OwO CONSTANCE. >w< He talks to ;;w;; me :3 that >_< nyevew xDD had :3 a OwO son. 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. >_> You OwO awe >_< as fond of grief >_< as of x3 youw :33 chiwd. 
OwO CONSTANCE. :3 Gwief ^.^ fiwws x3 the >_> woom x3 up of x3 my absent child, 
Lies uWu in :33 his ^.^ bed, >w< wawks x3 up ÚwÚ and down with uWu me, 
Puts on :33 his OwO pwetty looks, ;;w;; wepeats :33 his wowds, 
^.^ Wemembews ;;w;; me of aww :33 his >_> gwacious xDD pawts, 
;;w;; Stuffs x3 out :33 his ;;w;; vacant xDD gawments with :33 his fowm; 
UwU Then uWu have UwU I reason to be fond of ÚwÚ gwief. 
>w< Fawe xDD you well; xDD had xDD you xDD such :3 a ^-^ woss >_< as I, 
UwU I couwd UwU give xDD bettew uWu comfowt than xDD you xDD do. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_< keep ÚwÚ this >_< fowm ;;w;; upon x3 my head, 
[Tearing her hair] 
x3 When there >_> is xDD such ^.^ disowdew uWu in x3 my >_< wit. 
x3 O :3 Wowd! x3 my ^-^ boy, x3 my >_< Awthuw, x3 my >w< faiw ^w^ son! 
OwO My :3 wife, x3 my joy, x3 my ^w^ food, x3 my ^w^ aiw x3 the ;;w;; wowwd! 
OwO My widow-comfowt, ÚwÚ and x3 my sorrows' ^-^ cuwe! uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING ;;w;; PHIWIP. UwU I feaw x3 some outrage, ÚwÚ and I'll ;;w;; fowwow her. uWu Exit 
xDD WEWIS. >_> Thewe's >_< nyothing uWu in ÚwÚ this wowwd ^.^ can >_< make ;;w;; me ^-^ joy. 
Life >_> is >_< as tedious >_< as :3 a twice-towd xDD tawe 
>w< Vexing x3 the dull ear of :3 a ^-^ dwowsy xDD man; 
xDD And UwU bittew ^-^ shame hath spoiw'd x3 the x3 sweet OwO wowwd's x3 taste, 
:33 That >w< it yiewds >_< nyought >_> but ^-^ shame ÚwÚ and >_> bittewnyess. 
:33 PANDUWPH. ^.^ Befowe x3 the :3 cuwing of :3 a >w< stwong ;;w;; disease, 
Even uWu in x3 the x3 instant of repair ÚwÚ and :33 heawth, 
uWu The ;;w;; fit >_> is >_< stwongest; ;;w;; eviws :3 that OwO take OwO weave 
On uWu theiw :3 depawtuwe UwU most of aww x3 show >_> eviw; 
>_> What uWu have xDD you wost ^.^ by losing of ÚwÚ this >w< day? 
xDD WEWIS. All OwO days of xDD gwowy, joy, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ happinyess. 
:33 PANDUWPH. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD had ^.^ won :33 it, :3 cewtainwy xDD you xDD had. 
:3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; when :33 Fowtunye means to ;;w;; men UwU most UwU good, 
:33 She :33 wooks ;;w;; upon them with :3 a threat'ning :33 eye. 
'Tis ;;w;; stwange to think >w< how much ^w^ King John hath wost 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this which ^.^ he x3 accounts UwU so cweawwy uWu won. 
^w^ Awe nyot xDD you >w< gwiev'd :3 that Awthuw >_> is :33 his prisoner? 
xDD WEWIS. ;;w;; As UwU heawtiwy >_< as ^.^ he >_> is uWu gwad ^.^ he hath ^.^ him. 
:33 PANDUWPH. uWu Youw ^-^ mind >_> is aww >_< as youthfuw >_< as x3 youw blood. 
Now hear ;;w;; me speak with :3 a ÚwÚ pwophetic uWu spiwit; 
For even x3 the UwU bweath of >_> what UwU I >_> mean to speak 
Shall ^w^ bwow >_< each :33 dust, >_< each ^-^ stwaw, >_< each xDD wittwe rub, 
UwU Out of x3 the path which UwU shaww xDD diwectwy lead 
x3 Thy :33 foot to Engwand's thwonye. xDD And >_< thewefowe mark: 
John hath :3 seiz'd Arthur; ÚwÚ and >w< it ;;w;; cannyot be 
^.^ That, whiwes wawm >w< wife plays uWu in :3 that infant's >_> veins, 
uWu The >w< mispwac'd John >_> shouwd entertain >w< an ^-^ houw, 
x3 Onye ;;w;; minyute, x3 nyay, one :33 quiet UwU bweath of rest. 
^-^ A sceptre ^-^ snyatch'd with >w< an ^-^ unwuwy uWu hand 
:3 Must be :3 boistewouswy ÚwÚ maintain'd >_< as gain'd, 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that >w< stands ;;w;; upon :3 a slipp'ry :33 pwace 
:3 Makes UwU nyice of nyo ^-^ viwe howd to xDD stay ^.^ him xDD up; 
:33 That John OwO may stand >w< then, Awthuw >_< nyeeds ^w^ must uWu faww; 
^w^ So be :33 it, fow >w< it ;;w;; cannyot be >_> but :3 so. 
xDD WEWIS. OwO But >_> what UwU shaww UwU I ^.^ gain ^.^ by xDD young Arthur's :3 faww? 
:33 PANDUWPH. >_< You, uWu in x3 the >w< wight of xDD Wady Blanch x3 youw :3 wife, 
^-^ May xDD then >_< make aww x3 the >_< cwaim :3 that Awthuw ^.^ did. 
xDD WEWIS. xDD And wose :33 it, >w< wife ÚwÚ and all, >_< as Awthuw ^.^ did. 
:33 PANDUWPH. How green xDD you OwO awe ÚwÚ and >w< fwesh uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; owd ;;w;; wowwd! 
John ways xDD you >_> pwots; x3 the times xDD conspiwe with uWu you; 
For ^.^ he :3 that ;;w;; steeps :33 his :33 safety uWu in true :3 bwood 
Shall find >_> but bwoody :33 safety ÚwÚ and untrue. 
This ;;w;; act, UwU so evilly bownye, UwU shaww :3 coow x3 the heawts 
Of aww :33 his OwO peopwe ÚwÚ and UwU fweeze x3 up uWu theiw zeal, 
:33 That >_< nyonye UwU so UwU smaww ^w^ advantage UwU shaww :33 step fowth 
;;w;; To ^.^ check :33 his OwO weign >_> but ;;w;; they xDD wiww :3 chewish uWu it; 
No natural >_> exhawation uWu in x3 the :3 sky, 
No ;;w;; scope of nyatuwe, nyo ^.^ distempew'd ^-^ day, 
No ^w^ common ;;w;; wind, nyo >w< customed uWu event, 
OwO But ;;w;; they xDD wiww pluck OwO away :33 his natural cause 
xDD And caww them meteows, prodigies, ÚwÚ and >_> signs, 
UwU Abowtives, presages, ÚwÚ and tongues of ^.^ heaven, 
UwU Pwainwy denyouncing UwU vengeance ;;w;; upon OwO John. 
xDD WEWIS. ^-^ May be ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot :33 touch xDD young Arthur's :3 wife, 
OwO But howd >_< himsewf >_< safe uWu in :33 his pwisonment. 
:33 PANDUWPH. >_< O, UwU Siw, when ^.^ he UwU shaww hear of x3 youw approach, 
;;w;; If :3 that xDD young Awthuw be nyot >_> gonye already, 
Even uWu at :3 that nyews ^.^ he :33 dies; ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 the heawts 
Of aww :33 his OwO peopwe UwU shaww ;;w;; wevowt from :3 him, 
xDD And :3 kiss x3 the lips of unacquainted >_< change, 
xDD And pick >w< stwong ;;w;; mattew of ;;w;; wevowt ÚwÚ and >_> wwath 
UwU Out of x3 the bwoody fingews' uWu ends of OwO john. 
Methinks UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ this huwwy aww on >w< foot; 
^.^ And, >_< O, >_> what xDD bettew ;;w;; mattew breeds fow xDD you 
Than UwU I uWu have nam'd! uWu The ^.^ bastawd Fauwconbwidge 
Is nyow uWu in England ^.^ wansacking x3 the :3 Chuwch, 
;;w;; Offending charity; >_> if >_> but :3 a ^.^ dozen OwO Fwench 
^.^ Wewe there uWu in awms, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd be >_< as :3 a ^.^ can 
;;w;; To twain ;;w;; ten thousand :3 Engwish to uWu theiw x3 side; 
:33 Ow >_< as :3 a xDD wittwe ;;w;; snyow, >_> tumbwed about, 
^-^ Anyon x3 becomes :3 a x3 mountain. x3 O x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ Dauphin, 
Go with ;;w;; me to x3 the ;;w;; King. 'Tis ;;w;; wondewfuw 
>_> What OwO may be ;;w;; wwought x3 out of uWu theiw ÚwÚ discontent, 
Now :3 that uWu theiw >w< souws OwO awe >_> topfuw of OwO offence. 
For England go; UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ whet on x3 the ;;w;; King. 
xDD WEWIS. :3 Stwong weasons x3 makes >w< stwong UwU actions. Let >_> us go; 
;;w;; If xDD you >_> say :33 ay, x3 the ^w^ King xDD wiww nyot >_> say >w< nyo. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

^w^ Engwand. ^-^ A ^w^ castwe 

Entew >_< HUBEWT ÚwÚ and EXECUTIONyEWS 

;;w;; HUBEWT. >_> Heat ;;w;; me these iwons ^.^ hot; ÚwÚ and wook xDD thou stand 
OwO Within x3 the arras. x3 When UwU I strike x3 my :33 foot 
>_> Upon x3 the ^w^ bosom of x3 the ground, >_< wush fowth 
xDD And bind x3 the ;;w;; boy which xDD you UwU shaww find with ;;w;; me 
xDD Fast to x3 the :3 chaiw. ^w^ Be >_> heedfuw; hence, ÚwÚ and :33 watch. 
uWu EXECUTIONyEW. UwU I UwU hope x3 youw :33 wawwant xDD wiww UwU beaw x3 out x3 the UwU deed. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. UwU Uncweanwy scruples! Fear nyot OwO you. Wook to't. 
Exeunt EXECUTIONyEWS 
Young lad, come forth; UwU I uWu have to >_> say with OwO you. 

Entew ;;w;; AWTHUW 

>_> AWTHUW. ^-^ Good morrow, x3 Hubewt. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ^-^ Good morrow, xDD wittwe UwU Pwince. 
>_> AWTHUW. ;;w;; As xDD wittwe >_< pwince, xDD having UwU so great :3 a >_< tide 
;;w;; To be ^.^ mowe >_< pwince, >_< as OwO may >w< be. >_> You OwO awe OwO sad. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. :33 Indeed UwU I uWu have :33 been >w< mewwiew. 
>_> AWTHUW. ^w^ Mewcy on me! 
Methinks nyo >w< body >_> shouwd be >_> sad >_> but x3 I; 
Yet, UwU I UwU wemembew, when UwU I UwU was uWu in >_< Fwance, 
Young gentlemen ^.^ wouwd be >_< as >_> sad >_< as night, 
Onwy fow ;;w;; wantonnyess. ^-^ By x3 my chwistendom, 
^w^ So UwU I :3 wewe x3 out of :3 pwison ÚwÚ and :33 kept ;;w;; sheep, 
UwU I >_> shouwd be >_< as ^.^ mewwy >_< as x3 the day >_> is xDD wong; 
xDD And UwU so UwU I ^.^ wouwd be OwO hewe >_> but :3 that UwU I doubt 
OwO My :33 uncwe uWu pwactises ^.^ mowe x3 hawm to OwO me; 
>w< He >_> is :33 afwaid of uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I of ^.^ him. 
Is >w< it x3 my ;;w;; fauwt :3 that UwU I UwU was Geffwey's uWu son? 
:3 Nyo, :33 indeed, ist x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ wouwd to heaven 
UwU I :3 wewe x3 youw x3 son, UwU so xDD you ^.^ wouwd wuv uWu me, x3 Hubewt. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; If UwU I tawk to :3 him, with :33 his innocent prate 
>w< He xDD wiww awake x3 my mercy, which wies UwU dead; 
Therefore UwU I xDD wiww be ^.^ sudden ÚwÚ and dispatch. 
>_> AWTHUW. ^w^ Awe xDD you :33 sick, ÚwÚ Hubewt? >_> You wook pawe to-day; 
^w^ In sooth, UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you :3 wewe :3 a xDD wittwe :33 sick, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ might sit aww >w< nyight ÚwÚ and ;;w;; watch with OwO you. 
UwU I :33 wawwant UwU I wuv xDD you ^.^ mowe than xDD you UwU do x3 me. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. :3 [Aside] ÚwÚ His wowds UwU do OwO take >w< possession of x3 my x3 bosom.- 
xDD Wead UwU hewe, xDD young Arthur. >w< [Showing :3 a ÚwÚ papew] 
:3 [Aside] How now, >_< foowish OwO wheum! 
UwU Tuwnying ^.^ dispiteous towtuwe x3 out of >w< doow! 
UwU I ^w^ must be ^-^ bwief, xDD west uWu wesowution >_< dwop 
UwU Out uWu at >_< minye eyes uWu in xDD tendew >_> womanyish teaws.- 
UwU Can xDD you nyot ^w^ wead :33 it? Is >w< it nyot >w< faiw writ? 
>_> AWTHUW. Too >w< faiwwy, Hubewt, fow UwU so fouw x3 effect. 
:3 Must xDD you with :3 hot iwons buwn x3 out both >_< minye uWu eyes? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Young ^-^ boy, UwU I must. 
>_> AWTHUW. xDD And xDD wiww you? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. xDD And UwU I :33 wiww. 
>_> AWTHUW. :3 Have xDD you x3 the ÚwÚ heawt? x3 When x3 youw >_> head uWu did >_> but uWu ache, 
UwU I >w< knyit x3 my handkerchief about x3 youw brows- 
uWu The best UwU I :33 had, :3 a ^-^ pwincess ;;w;; wwought >w< it me- 
xDD And UwU I uWu did >_< nyevew ^w^ ask >w< it xDD you again; 
xDD And with x3 my uWu hand uWu at ;;w;; midnyight hewd x3 youw head; 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike x3 the ÚwÚ watchfuw ^w^ minyutes to x3 the ^-^ houw, 
UwU Stiww ÚwÚ and :3 anyon cheer'd x3 up x3 the x3 heavy time, 
UwU Saying x3 'What ^.^ wack you?' ÚwÚ and 'Whewe wies x3 youw gwief?' 
:33 Ow x3 'What ÚwÚ good wuv OwO may UwU I x3 pewfowm fow you?' 
xDD Many :3 a poor :33 man's >_< son ^.^ wouwd uWu have :3 wyen still, 
xDD And ^w^ nye'ew uWu have ^-^ spoke :3 a >w< woving ;;w;; wowd to uWu you; 
OwO But xDD you uWu at x3 youw >w< sick OwO sewvice xDD had :3 a pwince. 
Nyay, xDD you OwO may think x3 my wuv UwU was ^-^ cwafty xDD wuv, 
xDD And caww >w< it ;;w;; cunnying. UwU Do, >w< an >_> if xDD you :33 wiww. 
;;w;; If heaven be pleas'd :3 that xDD you ^w^ must use ;;w;; me UwU iww, 
Why, xDD then xDD you must. Will xDD you put x3 out >_< minye ^w^ eyes, 
;;w;; These eyes :3 that >_< nyevew uWu did nor >_< nyevew UwU shaww 
^w^ So much >_< as fwown on you? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. UwU I uWu have sworn to UwU do uWu it; 
xDD And with :3 hot iwons ^w^ must UwU I buwn them OwO out. 
>_> AWTHUW. xDD Ah, >_< nyonye >_> but uWu in ÚwÚ this iwon age ^.^ wouwd UwU do :3 it! 
uWu The iwon of itself, ^w^ though ^.^ heat x3 wed-hot, 
Appwoaching nyeaw these eyes ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ dwink x3 my ^-^ teaws, 
xDD And quench :33 his fiery >_< indignyation 
Even uWu in x3 the ;;w;; mattew of >_< minye ^w^ innyocence; 
Nyay, ÚwÚ aftew :3 that, ^-^ consume OwO away uWu in ^w^ wust 
OwO But fow xDD containying fire to x3 hawm >_< minye :33 eye. 
^w^ Awe xDD you ^.^ mowe stubbown-hawd than hammew'd >w< iwon? 
^-^ An >_> if >w< an ÚwÚ angew >_> shouwd uWu have come to ;;w;; me 
xDD And told ;;w;; me Hubert >_> shouwd put x3 out >_< minye ^w^ eyes, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have believ'd ;;w;; him-nyo >_> tongue >_> but :33 Hubewt's. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. [Stamps] :3 Come forth. 

^.^ We-entew EXECUTIONyEWS, With >_< cowd, irons, :33 etc. 

Do >_< as UwU I bid xDD you xDD do. 
>_> AWTHUW. >_< O, :3 save uWu me, Hubewt, :3 save me! OwO My eyes OwO awe x3 out 
Even with x3 the >_< fiewce :33 wooks of these bwoody ^.^ men. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Give ;;w;; me x3 the uWu iwon, UwU I say, ÚwÚ and bind ^.^ him hewe. 
>_> AWTHUW. ÚwÚ Awas, >_> what >_< nyeed xDD you be UwU so UwU boist'wous OwO wough? 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> stwuggwe, UwU I xDD wiww stand x3 stonye-stiww. 
For heaven ^w^ sake, Hubewt, wet ;;w;; me nyot be >_> bound! 
Nyay, hear uWu me, x3 Hubewt! Drive these ;;w;; men away, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww sit >_< as :33 quiet >_< as :3 a ^.^ wamb; 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ stiw, nor ÚwÚ wince, nor speak :3 a word, 
x3 Nyow wook ;;w;; upon x3 the iwon :33 angwiwy; 
Thrust >_> but these ;;w;; men away, ÚwÚ and I'll :33 fowgive UwU you, 
Whatevew x3 towment xDD you UwU do put ;;w;; me ;;w;; to. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ^w^ Go, stand xDD within; wet ;;w;; me awonye with ^.^ him. 
uWu EXECUTIONyEW. UwU I ^w^ am best pleas'd to be from xDD such :3 a UwU deed. 
Exeunt EXECUTIONyEWS 
>_> AWTHUW. ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I xDD then uWu have ;;w;; chid OwO away x3 my >_> fwiend! 
>w< He hath :3 a xDD stewn wook >_> but :3 a ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; heawt. 
Let ^.^ him come back, :3 that :33 his >w< compassion OwO may 
Give >w< wife to x3 youws. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ^.^ Come, ^-^ boy, >_> pwepawe OwO youwsewf. 
>_> AWTHUW. Is there nyo remedy? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ÚwÚ Nyonye, >_> but to wose x3 youw :3 eyes. 
>_> AWTHUW. x3 O ^.^ heaven, :3 that there :3 wewe >_> but :3 a ÚwÚ mote uWu in >_< youws, 
^-^ A ^w^ gwain, :3 a :33 dust, :3 a gnat, :3 a wandering hair, 
x3 Any ÚwÚ annyoyance uWu in :3 that >_< pwecious ÚwÚ sense! 
Then, :33 feewing >_> what UwU smaww ^.^ things OwO awe boisterous thewe, 
uWu Youw ^-^ viwe :3 intent ^w^ must >_< nyeeds xDD seem howwibwe. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Is ÚwÚ this x3 youw ^w^ pwomise? Go ^.^ to, howd x3 youw :33 tongue. 
>_> AWTHUW. Hubewt, x3 the :3 uttewance of :3 a ;;w;; bwace of tongues 
:3 Must >_< nyeeds ^.^ want xDD pweading fow :3 a :33 paiw of :3 eyes. 
Let ;;w;; me nyot howd x3 my ;;w;; tongue, wet ;;w;; me >_> nyot, Hubert; 
:3 Ow, Hubewt, >_> if xDD you :33 wiww, :3 cut x3 out x3 my ;;w;; tongue, 
^w^ So UwU I OwO may >_< keep >_< minye :3 eyes. >_< O, ^-^ spawe >_< minye ^w^ eyes, 
;;w;; Though to nyo use >_> but still to wook on you! 
Lo, ^.^ by x3 my troth, x3 the UwU instwument >_> is UwU cowd 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd nyot x3 hawm x3 me. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. UwU I ^.^ can ^.^ heat :33 it, uWu boy. 
>_> AWTHUW. :3 Nyo, uWu in ÚwÚ good sooth; x3 the fire >_> is >_< dead with gwief, 
uWu Being >w< cweate fow comfort, to be ;;w;; us'd 
^w^ In ^.^ undesewved extremes. xDD See >_> ewse ^-^ youwsewf: 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo malice uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ buwnying coal; 
uWu The UwU bweath of heaven hath >_> bwown :33 his ^w^ spiwit ^.^ out, 
xDD And UwU stwew'd repentant >_> ashes on :33 his >_> head. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. OwO But with x3 my UwU bweath UwU I ^.^ can :3 wevive :33 it, uWu boy. 
>_> AWTHUW. ^-^ An >_> if xDD you UwU do, xDD you xDD wiww >_> but >_< make >w< it bwush 
xDD And glow with ^-^ shame of x3 youw >_> pwoceedings, x3 Hubewt. 
Nyay, >w< it x3 pewchance xDD wiww uWu spawkwe uWu in x3 youw ^w^ eyes, 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 a dog :3 that >_> is OwO compeww'd to x3 fight, 
Snyatch uWu at :33 his >_< mastew :3 that xDD doth tarre ^.^ him :3 on. 
All ^.^ things :3 that xDD you >_> shouwd use to UwU do ;;w;; me wrong 
>w< Deny uWu theiw office; >w< onwy xDD you UwU do ^.^ wack 
:33 That xDD mewcy which >_< fiewce fire ÚwÚ and iwon ^.^ extends, 
Cweatuwes of ^-^ nyote fow >_< mewcy-wacking uses. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. xDD Weww, >_> see to ÚwÚ wive; UwU I xDD wiww nyot :33 touch ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye 
For aww x3 the treasure :3 that ^.^ thinye :33 uncwe :33 owes. 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^w^ am sworn, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu did xDD puwpose, ^-^ boy, 
With ÚwÚ this same xDD vewy iwon to buwn them OwO out. 
>_> AWTHUW. >_< O, nyow xDD you wook ^.^ wike x3 Hubewt! All ÚwÚ this OwO whiwe 
>_> You :3 wewe :3 disguis'd. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. OwO Peace; nyo more. uWu Adieu. 
uWu Youw :33 uncwe ^w^ must nyot ^.^ knyow >_> but xDD you OwO awe dead: 
I'll ^w^ fiww these uWu dogged >w< spies with UwU fawse xDD wepowts; 
^.^ And, OwO pwetty child, :33 sweep ^-^ doubtwess ÚwÚ and ^.^ secuwe 
:33 That Hubewt, fow x3 the weawth of aww x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
Will nyot ^-^ offend thee. 
>_> AWTHUW. x3 O :3 heaven! UwU I >_> thank UwU you, x3 Hubewt. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ^w^ Siwence; nyo more. Go x3 cwosewy uWu in with x3 me. 
Much danger UwU do UwU I ^w^ undewgo fow thee. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

^w^ Engwand. ;;w;; KING JOHN'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ JOHN, >w< PEMBWOKE, >_< SAWISBUWY, ÚwÚ and othew ;;w;; WOWDS 

;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. :3 Hewe >_> once again ^.^ we ^.^ sit, >_> once again cwown'd, 
xDD And >_> wook'd upon, UwU I hope, with cheerful :3 eyes. 
PEMBROKE. This >_> once OwO again, >_> but :3 that x3 youw >_> Highnyess >_< pweas'd, 
Was >_> once superfluous: xDD you :3 wewe cwown'd x3 befowe, 
xDD And :3 that xDD high xDD woyawty UwU was ^w^ nye'ew ^w^ pwuck'd ^w^ off, 
uWu The :33 faiths of ;;w;; men ^w^ nye'ew ^w^ stainyed with wevowt; 
>w< Fwesh expectation troubled nyot x3 the ÚwÚ wand 
With xDD any ;;w;; wong'd-fow change ow xDD bettew state. 
SAWISBUWY. >_< Thewefowe, to be >_< possess'd with :3 doubwe pomp, 
;;w;; To xDD guawd :3 a ;;w;; titwe :3 that UwU was rich x3 befowe, 
;;w;; To gild :3 wefinyed ^.^ gowd, to OwO paint x3 the ^-^ wiwy, 
;;w;; To ^-^ thwow :3 a ^.^ pewfume on x3 the violet, 
;;w;; To x3 smooth x3 the ice, ow >_< add anyothew :33 hue 
uWu Unto x3 the xDD wainbow, ow with >_< tapew-wight 
;;w;; To >_> seek x3 the beauteous ^w^ eye of heaven to gawnyish, 
Is ^w^ wastefuw ÚwÚ and ^w^ widicuwous >_> excess. 
PEMBROKE. OwO But :3 that x3 youw royal :3 pweasuwe ^w^ must be :33 donye, 
This ;;w;; act >_> is >_< as >w< an UwU ancient xDD tawe x3 nyew told 
^.^ And, uWu in x3 the >w< wast >w< wepeating, OwO twoubwesome, 
uWu Being urged uWu at :3 a time ^-^ unseasonyabwe. 
SAWISBUWY. ^w^ In ÚwÚ this x3 the >w< antique ÚwÚ and weww-nyoted OwO face 
Of uWu pwain ;;w;; owd >_< fowm >_> is much disfiguwed; 
xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a >w< shifted wind >w< unto :3 a saiw 
^.^ It x3 makes x3 the course of >_< thoughts to :3 fetch about, 
Startles ÚwÚ and ^-^ fwights ;;w;; considewation, 
:3 Makes >_> sound opinyion :33 sick, ÚwÚ and uWu twuth >_> suspected, 
For ^.^ putting on UwU so x3 nyew :3 a uWu fashion'd wobe. 
PEMBROKE. x3 When UwU wowkmen strive to UwU do xDD bettew than weww, 
^-^ They UwU do confound uWu theiw :3 skiww uWu in OwO cuvtousnyess; 
xDD And OwO oftentimes UwU excusing of :3 a ;;w;; fauwt 
^-^ Doth >_< make x3 the ;;w;; fauwt x3 the xDD wowse ^.^ by x3 th' excuse, 
;;w;; As >w< patches uWu set ;;w;; upon :3 a xDD wittwe ^w^ bweach 
:3 Discwedit ^.^ mowe uWu in OwO hiding of x3 the ;;w;; fauwt 
Than uWu did x3 the ;;w;; fauwt >w< befowe >w< it UwU was UwU so ÚwÚ patch'd. 
SAWISBUWY. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ this xDD effect, >w< befowe xDD you :3 wewe nyew-cwown'd, 
We >w< bweath'd UwU ouw counsew; >_> but >w< it pleas'd x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
;;w;; To xDD uvwbeaw uWu it; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we OwO awe aww weww >_< pweas'd, 
Since aww ÚwÚ and every ÚwÚ pawt of >_> what ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd 
^-^ Doth >_< make :3 a stand uWu at >_> what x3 youw >_> Highnyess :33 wiww. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ;;w;; Some weasons of ÚwÚ this :3 doubwe ;;w;; cowonyation 
UwU I uWu have >_< possess'd xDD you OwO with, ÚwÚ and think them strong; 
xDD And >_> mowe, ^.^ mowe :33 stwong, when wessew >_> is x3 my ;;w;; feaw, 
UwU I UwU shaww indue xDD you with. >w< Meantime >_> but ^w^ ask 
>_> What xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu have reform'd :3 that >_> is nyot weww, 
xDD And weww UwU shaww xDD you >_> pewceive >w< how ^w^ wiwwingwy 
UwU I xDD wiww both hear ÚwÚ and gwant xDD you x3 youw requests. 
PEMBROKE. UwU Then I, >_< as one :3 that ^w^ am x3 the >_> tongue of OwO these, 
;;w;; To >_> sound x3 the uWu puwposes of aww uWu theiw hearts, 
UwU Both fow mysewf ÚwÚ and OwO them- but, uWu chief of all, 
uWu Youw safety, fow x3 the which mysewf ÚwÚ and them 
Bend uWu theiw best ^.^ studies, UwU heawtiwy request 
xDD Th' enfranchisement of >_< Awthuw, x3 whose :3 westwaint 
^-^ Doth move x3 the >w< muwmuwing lips of ;;w;; discontent 
;;w;; To bweak x3 into ÚwÚ this uWu dangewous :3 awgument: 
;;w;; If >_> what uWu in xDD west xDD you uWu have uWu in >w< wight xDD you OwO howd, 
Why xDD then x3 youw fears-which, >_< as ;;w;; they say, >_< attend 
uWu The steps of :33 wwong-shouwd move xDD you to ^.^ mew x3 up 
uWu Youw xDD tendew xDD kinsman, ÚwÚ and to >_< choke :33 his OwO days 
With barbarous ignorance, ÚwÚ and UwU deny :33 his :33 youth 
uWu The rich ^w^ advantage of ÚwÚ good ;;w;; exewcise? 
:33 That x3 the ÚwÚ time's >_< enyemies OwO may nyot uWu have ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; To xDD gwace UwU occasions, wet >w< it be UwU ouw >_> suit 
:33 That xDD you uWu have bid >_> us ^w^ ask :33 his xDD wibewty; 
>_< Which fow UwU ouw >_> goods ^.^ we UwU do nyo further ^w^ ask 
Than whereupon UwU ouw weal, on xDD you :33 depending, 
Counts >w< it x3 youw ^-^ weaw ^.^ he uWu have :33 his OwO wibewty. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Let >w< it be :3 so. UwU I UwU do :3 commit :33 his :33 youth 
;;w;; To x3 youw diwection. 

Entew >_< HUBEWT 

:3 [Aside] Hubewt, >_> what nyews with you? 
PEMBROKE. This >_> is x3 the x3 man >_> shouwd UwU do x3 the bwoody :33 deed: 
>w< He ^w^ show'd :33 his :33 wawwant to :3 a :33 fwiend of minye; 
uWu The x3 image of :3 a wicked ;;w;; heinyous ;;w;; fauwt 
Wives uWu in :33 his >_< eye; :3 that ^-^ cwose uWu aspect of :33 his 
^-^ Doth x3 show x3 the ^w^ mood of :3 a much troubled UwU bweast, 
xDD And UwU I UwU do uWu feawfuwwy ^-^ bewieve UwU 'tis donye 
>_> What ^.^ we UwU so feaw'd ^.^ he xDD had :3 a :3 chawge to xDD do. 
SAWISBUWY. uWu The colour of x3 the ^w^ King xDD doth come ÚwÚ and OwO go 
Between :33 his OwO puwpose ÚwÚ and :33 his OwO conscience, 
Wike OwO hewawds 'twixt >w< two :3 dweadfuw :3 battwes set. 
ÚwÚ His passion >_> is UwU so ripe >w< it >_< nyeeds ^w^ must *cuddles you* bweak. 
PEMBROKE. xDD And when >w< it bweaks, UwU I feaw xDD wiww x3 issue thence 
uWu The fouw ^.^ cowwuption of :3 a x3 sweet chiwd's death. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. We ;;w;; cannyot howd mowtawity's >w< stwong >w< hand. 
^-^ Good wowds, awthough x3 my xDD wiww to UwU give >_> is >w< wiving, 
uWu The >_> suit which xDD you ;;w;; demand >_> is >_> gonye ÚwÚ and dead: 
>w< He uWu tewws >_> us Awthuw >_> is xDD deceas'd to-night. 
SAWISBUWY. >w< Indeed, ^.^ we feaw'd :33 his sicknyess UwU was x3 past x3 cuwe. 
PEMBROKE. >w< Indeed, ^.^ we heard >w< how nyeaw :33 his :33 death ^.^ he UwU was, 
^.^ Befowe x3 the chiwd >_< himsewf UwU fewt ^.^ he UwU was ;;w;; sick. 
This ^w^ must be x3 answew'd xDD eithew OwO hewe ow x3 hence. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Why UwU do xDD you >w< bend xDD such solemn ^w^ bwows on me? 
^w^ Think xDD you UwU I UwU beaw x3 the uWu sheaws of destiny? 
:3 Have UwU I commandment on x3 the >_< puwse of :33 wife? 
SAWISBUWY. ^.^ It >_> is apparent UwU fouw-pway; ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis ^-^ shame 
:33 That :33 gweatnyess >_> shouwd UwU so grossly offer :3 it. 
^w^ So x3 thwive >w< it uWu in x3 youw OwO game! ÚwÚ and >_> so, farewell. 
PEMBROKE. OwO Stay ^w^ yet, Lord >_> Sawisbuwy, I'll OwO go with uWu thee 
xDD And find x3 th' inheritance of ÚwÚ this poor child, 
ÚwÚ His xDD wittwe ^w^ kingdom of :3 a xDD fowced x3 gwave. 
:33 That :3 bwood which uWu ow'd x3 the bweadth of aww ÚwÚ this isle 
Thwee :33 foot of >w< it xDD doth ^.^ howd-bad wowwd x3 the whiwe! 
This ^w^ must nyot be OwO thus ÚwÚ bownye: ÚwÚ this xDD wiww bweak x3 out 
;;w;; To aww UwU ouw sowwows, ÚwÚ and ere ^-^ wong UwU I ^-^ doubt. Exeunt ;;w;; WOWDS 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^-^ They buwn uWu in xDD indignyation. UwU I wepent. 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo >_< suwe >_< foundation uWu set on bwood, 
No xDD cewtain >w< wife ÚwÚ achiev'd ^.^ by OwO othews' death. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

^-^ A x3 feawfuw ^w^ eye xDD thou hast; :3 whewe >_> is :3 that :3 bwood 
:33 That UwU I uWu have :3 seen ;;w;; inhabit uWu in UwU those :3 cheeks? 
^w^ So fouw :3 a sky clears nyot ^-^ without :3 a storm. 
Pour down >w< thy ^-^ weathew-how xDD goes aww uWu in France? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Fwom Fwance to ^w^ Engwand. xDD Nyevew xDD such :3 a pow'w 
For xDD any :33 foweign uWu pwepawation 
Was ^w^ wevied uWu in x3 the >w< body of :3 a xDD wand. 
uWu The copy of x3 youw ^w^ speed >_> is weawn'd ^.^ by ÚwÚ them, 
For when xDD you >_> shouwd be told ;;w;; they UwU do prepare, 
uWu The UwU tidings x3 comes :3 that ;;w;; they OwO awe aww arriv'd. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_< O, :3 whewe hath UwU ouw ^.^ intewwigence :33 been :3 dwunk? 
Whewe hath >w< it slept? Whewe >_> is x3 my ;;w;; mothew's care, 
:33 That xDD such >w< an ^.^ awmy couwd be drawn uWu in >_< Fwance, 
xDD And ^.^ she nyot hear of :33 it? 
x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My ^.^ wiege, her ear 
Is ;;w;; stopp'd with x3 dust: x3 the xDD fiwst of ;;w;; Apwiw >w< died 
uWu Youw x3 nyobwe mothew; ÚwÚ and >_< as UwU I heaw, x3 my uWu wowd, 
uWu The xDD Wady Constance uWu in :3 a fwenzy >w< died 
Thwee OwO days befowe; >_> but ÚwÚ this from rumour's >_> tongue 
UwU I idly heard-if true ow UwU fawse UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Withhowd >w< thy speed, :3 dweadfuw ^.^ occasion! 
>_< O, >_< make :3 a :33 weague with uWu me, >w< tiww UwU I uWu have pleas'd 
OwO My >_> discontented peers! What! mothew ÚwÚ dead! 
How ^-^ wiwdwy xDD then >w< wawks x3 my estate uWu in France! 
;;w;; Undew x3 whose ÚwÚ conduct ^-^ came UwU those pow'rs of Fwance 
:33 That xDD thou fow uWu twuth OwO giv'st x3 out OwO awe landed hewe? 
x3 MESSENGEW. ;;w;; Undew x3 the ÚwÚ Dauphin. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^.^ Thou x3 hast UwU made ;;w;; me ^-^ giddy 
With these uWu in UwU tidings. 

Entew x3 the BASTARD ÚwÚ and ;;w;; PETEW ÚwÚ OF POMFRET 

>_> Nyow! >_> What ;;w;; says x3 the wowwd 
;;w;; To x3 youw >_< pwoceedings? Do nyot >_> seek to ^w^ stuff 
OwO My >_> head with ^.^ mowe :33 iww news, fow >w< it >_> is :33 fun. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. OwO But >_> if xDD you be ^w^ afeaw'd to hear x3 the ^.^ wowst, 
UwU Then wet x3 the ^.^ wowst, OwO unheawd, faww on x3 youw >_> head. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ÚwÚ Beaw with uWu me, OwO cousin, fow UwU I UwU was ^w^ amaz'd 
;;w;; Undew x3 the tide; >_> but nyow UwU I ;;w;; bweathe again 
>_> Awoft x3 the flood, ÚwÚ and ^.^ can UwU give audience 
;;w;; To xDD any ;;w;; tongue, speak >w< it of >_> what >w< it :33 wiww. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. How UwU I uWu have sped ^-^ among x3 the cwewgymen 
uWu The uWu sums UwU I uWu have collected UwU shaww expwess. 
OwO But >_< as UwU I ^w^ twaveww'd ÚwÚ hithew ^w^ thwough x3 the land, 
UwU I find x3 the OwO peopwe OwO stwangewy :3 fantasied; 
Possess'd with rumours, full of idle dweams. 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 knyowing >_> what ;;w;; they ;;w;; feaw, >_> but full of x3 feaw; 
xDD And hewe's :3 a :33 pwophet :3 that UwU I ^.^ bwought with ;;w;; me 
Fwom fowth x3 the ^w^ stweets of :3 Pomfwet, ÚwÚ whom UwU I >_> found 
With UwU many UwU hundweds UwU tweading on :33 his heews; 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he ^-^ sung, uWu in wude harsh-sounding whymes, 
^.^ That, ere x3 the :3 nyext uWu Ascension-day uWu at noon, 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess >_> shouwd ÚwÚ dewivew x3 up x3 youw crown. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^.^ Thou idle dreamer, ^-^ whewefowe :33 didst xDD thou so? 
^w^ PETEW. >_< Foweknyowing :3 that x3 the uWu twuth xDD wiww faww x3 out :3 so. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Hubewt, OwO away with him; ;;w;; impwison him; 
xDD And on :3 that day uWu at ;;w;; nyoon wheweon ^.^ he ;;w;; says 
UwU I UwU shaww yield x3 up x3 my >_< cwown wet ^.^ him be xDD hang'd. 
Deliver ^.^ him to :3 safety; ÚwÚ and wetuwn, 
For UwU I ^w^ must use thee. 
uWu Exit >_< HUBEWT with ;;w;; PETEW 
x3 O x3 my ^-^ gentwe OwO cousin, 
:33 Heaw'st xDD thou x3 the nyews >_> abwoad, who OwO awe ^-^ awwiv'd? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. uWu The Fwench, x3 my wowd; men's mouths OwO awe full of uWu it; 
:33 Besides, UwU I >w< met Lord >_> Bigot ÚwÚ and Lord >_> Sawisbuwy, 
With eyes >_< as red >_< as new-enkindled ^w^ fiwe, 
xDD And ;;w;; othews >_> mowe, x3 going to >_> seek x3 the :3 gwave 
Of >_< Awthuw, ÚwÚ whom ;;w;; they >_> say >_> is kill'd ^.^ to-nyight 
On x3 youw ^.^ suggestion. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^w^ Gentwe xDD kinsman, OwO go 
xDD And thwust >w< thysewf x3 into uWu theiw companies. 
UwU I uWu have :3 a uWu way to xDD wiww uWu theiw loves again; 
Bring them >w< befowe x3 me. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. UwU I Will >_> seek them OwO out. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Nyay, >_> but >_< make haste; x3 the xDD bettew :33 foot befowe. 
>_< O, wet ;;w;; me uWu have nyo x3 subject >_< enyemies 
x3 When advewse ;;w;; foweignyews affright x3 my UwU towns 
With :3 dweadfuw pomp of :33 stout x3 invasion! 
^w^ Be >_< Mewcuwy, uWu set feathers to >w< thy heews, 
xDD And fwy ^.^ wike xDD thought from them to ;;w;; me ;;w;; again. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. uWu The ^w^ spiwit of x3 the time UwU shaww >_< teach ;;w;; me ;;w;; speed. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. OwO Spoke ^.^ wike :3 a sprightful x3 nyobwe :3 gentweman. 
uWu Exit BASTARD 
Go ÚwÚ aftew him; fow ^.^ he ^-^ pewhaps UwU shaww >_< nyeed 
;;w;; Some :3 messengew betwixt ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU peews; 
xDD And be xDD thou he. 
x3 MESSENGEW. With aww x3 my uWu heawt, x3 my OwO wiege. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. OwO My mothew ÚwÚ dead! 

^.^ We-entew >_< HUBEWT 

;;w;; HUBEWT. OwO My uWu wowd, ;;w;; they >_> say five UwU moons :3 wewe :3 seen to-nyight; 
Four fixed, ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 fifth uWu did whirl about 
uWu The othew fouw uWu in wondwous ;;w;; motion. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. :3 Five OwO moons! 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ^-^ Owd ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and beldams uWu in x3 the ^w^ stweets 
Do >w< pwophesy ;;w;; upon >w< it >_> dangewouswy; 
Young Arthur's :33 death >_> is ^w^ common uWu in uWu theiw UwU mouths; 
xDD And when ;;w;; they tawk of :3 him, ;;w;; they ;;w;; shake uWu theiw >_< heads, 
xDD And whisper one anyothew uWu in x3 the ^-^ eaw; 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that xDD speaks xDD doth gripe x3 the ;;w;; heawew's >_> wwist, 
Whilst ^.^ he :3 that x3 heaws x3 makes x3 feawfuw uWu action 
With wwinkwed brows, with uWu nyods, with wowwing :3 eyes. 
UwU I saw :3 a >_> smith stand with :33 his hammer, thus, 
uWu The whiwst :33 his iwon uWu did on x3 the ^-^ anviw coow, 
With open xDD mouth swallowing :3 a :33 taiwow's nyews; 
UwU Who, with :33 his uWu sheaws ÚwÚ and UwU measuwe uWu in :33 his uWu hand, 
^w^ Standing on :33 swippews, which :33 his >_< nyimbwe ^.^ haste 
xDD Had :3 fawsewy thwust ;;w;; upon :33 contwawy ^.^ feet, 
Towd of :3 a UwU many thousand warlike OwO Fwench 
:33 That :3 wewe embattaiwed ÚwÚ and rank'd uWu in Kent. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew lean unwash'd >_> awtificew 
^w^ Cuts x3 off :33 his :33 tawe, ÚwÚ and talks of Arthur's death. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Why >_< seek'st xDD thou to possess ;;w;; me with these fears? 
Why uwgest xDD thou UwU so ;;w;; oft xDD young Arthur's UwU death? 
x3 Thy uWu hand hath ^-^ muwd'wed ^.^ him. UwU I xDD had :3 a ^-^ mighty cause 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ wish ^.^ him >_< dead, >_> but xDD thou >w< hadst >_< nyonye to OwO kiww ^.^ him. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. No :33 had, x3 my ^.^ wowd! Why, uWu did xDD you nyot ;;w;; pwovoke me? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the UwU cuwse of >w< kings to be ^w^ attended 
^-^ By xDD swaves :3 that OwO take uWu theiw humours fow :3 a :33 wawwant 
;;w;; To bweak within x3 the bwoody ;;w;; house of :3 wife, 
xDD And on x3 the winking of ÚwÚ authowity 
;;w;; To understand :3 a UwU waw; to ^.^ knyow x3 the meaning 
Of uWu dangewous ^.^ majesty, when x3 pewchance >w< it uWu fwowns 
uWu Mowe ;;w;; upon humouw than :33 advis'd wespect. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 youw uWu hand ÚwÚ and UwU seaw fow >_> what UwU I ^.^ did. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. >_< O, when x3 the >w< wast :33 account 'twixt heaven ÚwÚ and ^.^ eawth 
Is to be made, xDD then UwU shaww ÚwÚ this uWu hand ÚwÚ and UwU seaw 
Witness OwO against >_> us to ÚwÚ damnyation! 
How ;;w;; oft x3 the ^.^ sight of means to UwU do :33 iww >_< deeds 
^-^ Make >_< deeds :33 iww uWu donye! UwU Hadst nyot xDD thou :33 been UwU by, 
^-^ A fewwow ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand of ÚwÚ nyatuwe mawk'd, 
;;w;; Quoted ÚwÚ and :33 sign'd to UwU do :3 a ^.^ deed of UwU shame, 
This murder xDD had nyot come x3 into x3 my xDD mind; 
But, :3 taking ^-^ nyote of >w< thy >_> abhoww'd ÚwÚ aspect, 
Finding uWu thee ;;w;; fit fow bwoody xDD viwwainy, 
uWu Apt, UwU wiabwe to be xDD empwoy'd uWu in uWu dangew, 
UwU I ^w^ faintwy broke with uWu thee of Arthur's ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And UwU thou, to be endeared to :3 a OwO king, 
Made >w< it nyo >_> conscience to ÚwÚ destwoy :3 a pwince. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. OwO My wowd- 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. UwU Hadst xDD thou >_> but >_> shook >w< thy >_> head ow UwU made xDD pause, 
x3 When UwU I x3 spake >_< dawkwy >_> what UwU I OwO puwposed, 
:33 Ow >_> tuwn'd >w< an ^w^ eye of doubt ;;w;; upon x3 my >w< face, 
;;w;; As bid ;;w;; me tell x3 my xDD tawe uWu in express wowds, 
Deep ^-^ shame xDD had >w< stwuck ;;w;; me ^.^ dumb, UwU made ;;w;; me bweak ^w^ off, 
xDD And UwU those >w< thy OwO feaws ^w^ might uWu have ;;w;; wwought OwO feaws uWu in x3 me. 
OwO But xDD thou :33 didst understand ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 my >_> signs, 
xDD And :33 didst uWu in signs again parley with sin; 
Yea, ^-^ without UwU stop, :33 didst wet >w< thy >_< heawt ^.^ consent, 
xDD And ^.^ consequentwy >w< thy wude uWu hand to ;;w;; act 
uWu The ^.^ deed which both UwU ouw tongues hewd ^-^ viwe to nyame. 
UwU Out of x3 my UwU sight, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew >_> see ;;w;; me uWu mowe! 
OwO My nyobwes OwO weave OwO me; ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< state >_> is bwaved, 
Even uWu at x3 my ^.^ gates, with ;;w;; wanks of :33 foweign >w< pow'ws; 
Nyay, uWu in x3 the >w< body of x3 the xDD fweshwy land, 
This :33 kingdom, ÚwÚ this UwU confinye of :3 bwood ÚwÚ and :33 bweath, 
Hostility ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ civiw xDD tumuwt OwO weigns 
Between x3 my >_> conscience ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu cousin's death. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. >w< Awm xDD you OwO against x3 youw othew UwU enyemies, 
I'll >_< make :3 a uWu peace ^-^ between x3 youw :3 souw ÚwÚ and OwO you. 
Young Awthuw >_> is alive. This uWu hand of >_< minye 
Is yet :3 a >_< maiden ÚwÚ and >w< an innocent uWu hand, 
ÚwÚ Nyot painted with x3 the >_< cwimson OwO spots of blood. 
OwO Within ÚwÚ this ^w^ bosom >_< nyevew ^w^ ent'wed yet 
uWu The :3 dweadfuw >_> motion of :3 a murderous xDD thought 
xDD And xDD you uWu have UwU swandew'd ÚwÚ nyatuwe uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ fowm, 
>_< Which, howsoever wude ^w^ extewiowwy, 
Is yet x3 the UwU cuvw of :3 a fairer ^-^ mind 
Than to be ;;w;; butchew of >w< an innocent :33 chiwd. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^-^ Doth Awthuw >_> wive? >_< O, ^.^ haste uWu thee to x3 the ^-^ peews, 
Throw ÚwÚ this wepowt on uWu theiw uWu incensed xDD wage 
xDD And >_< make them >w< tame to uWu theiw obedience! 
>_< Fowgive x3 the ^.^ comment :3 that x3 my passion UwU made 
>_> Upon >w< thy featuwe; fow x3 my xDD wage UwU was ÚwÚ bwind, 
xDD And fouw imaginary eyes of :3 bwood 
xDD Pwesented uWu thee ^.^ mowe ^-^ hideous than xDD thou art. 
>_< O, answew x3 nyot; >_> but to x3 my cwoset ;;w;; bwing 
uWu The angry wowds with aww expedient ^.^ haste. 
UwU I x3 conjuwe uWu thee >_> but x3 swowwy; >w< wun ^.^ mowe uWu fast. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

^w^ Engwand. ^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ castwe 

Entew AWTHUW, on x3 the OwO wawws 

>_> AWTHUW. uWu The waww >_> is UwU high, ÚwÚ and yet xDD wiww UwU I ^-^ weap down. 
^-^ Good ground, be ^w^ pitifuw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ huwt ;;w;; me ^w^ nyot! 
>_> Thewe's x3 few ow >_< nyonye UwU do ^.^ knyow OwO me; >_> if ;;w;; they ^-^ did, 
This >w< ship-boy's ÚwÚ sembwance hath :33 disguis'd ;;w;; me quite. 
UwU I ^w^ am afwaid; ÚwÚ and yet I'll venture :3 it. 
;;w;; If UwU I get down ÚwÚ and UwU do nyot bweak x3 my limbs, 
I'll find :3 a thousand ^.^ shifts to get xDD away. 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ good to ^-^ die ÚwÚ and x3 go, >_< as ^-^ die ÚwÚ and >_< stay. ÚwÚ [Weaps down] 
x3 O me! x3 my ^-^ uncwe's ^w^ spiwit >_> is uWu in these ÚwÚ stonyes. 
uWu Heaven OwO take x3 my x3 souw, ÚwÚ and England >_< keep x3 my ^.^ bonyes! 
:33 [Dies] 

Entew >w< PEMBWOKE, >_< SAWISBUWY, ÚwÚ and OwO BIGOT 

SAWISBUWY. ;;w;; Wowds, UwU I xDD wiww :3 meet ^.^ him uWu at Saint ^w^ Edmundsbuwy; 
^.^ It >_> is UwU ouw safety, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we ^w^ must >_< embwace 
This ^-^ gentwe offer of x3 the :33 pewiwous uWu time. 
PEMBROKE. Who ^.^ bwought :3 that >_> wettew from x3 the ÚwÚ Cawdinyaw? 
SAWISBUWY. uWu The xDD Count xDD Mewun, :3 a x3 nyobwe ;;w;; wowd of >_< Fwance, 
>_< Whose >_> pwivate with ;;w;; me of x3 the ;;w;; Dauphin's wuv 
Is much ^.^ mowe general than these lines xDD impowt. 
BIGOT. >_< To-mowwow mownying wet >_> us :3 meet ^.^ him UwU then. 
SAWISBUWY. :33 Ow rather xDD then uWu set fowwawd; fow 'twill be 
Two ^-^ wong >_> days' jouwnyey, wowds, ow ere ^.^ we ^.^ meet. 

Entew x3 the BASTARD 

ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Once ^.^ mowe ^w^ to-day weww :3 met, ^.^ distempew'd lords! 
uWu The ^w^ King ^.^ by ;;w;; me uWu wequests x3 youw x3 pwesence stwaight. 
SAWISBUWY. uWu The ^w^ King hath ^.^ dispossess'd >_< himsewf of >_> us. 
We xDD wiww nyot winye :33 his >_< thin >_< bestainyed uWu cwoak 
With UwU ouw puwe honours, nor >_< attend x3 the :33 foot 
:33 That >w< weaves x3 the pwint of :3 bwood where'er >w< it wawks. 
Return ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him :3 so. We ^.^ knyow x3 the x3 wowst. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ÚwÚ Whate'ew xDD you >_< think, ÚwÚ good wowds, UwU I >_< think, :3 wewe >_> best. 
SAWISBUWY. Our ^.^ gwiefs, ÚwÚ and nyot UwU ouw :3 mannyews, reason now. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. OwO But there >_> is xDD wittwe reason uWu in x3 youw gwief; 
Therefore >w< 'twewe reason xDD you xDD had ^w^ mannyews now. 
PEMBROKE. UwU Siw, ^w^ siw, >_> impatience hath :33 his >_< pwiviwege. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. 'Tis xDD twue-to ÚwÚ huwt :33 his ^.^ mastew, nyo x3 man ewse. 
SAWISBUWY. This >_> is x3 the x3 pwison. >_> What >_> is ^.^ he wies hewe? 
PEMBROKE. x3 O UwU death, UwU made OwO pwoud with puwe ÚwÚ and princely x3 beauty! 
uWu The ^.^ eawth xDD had nyot :3 a x3 howe to hide ÚwÚ this UwU deed. 
SAWISBUWY. ^.^ Muwdew, >_< as >w< hating >_> what >_< himsewf hath :33 donye, 
^-^ Doth uWu way >w< it open to urge on revenge. 
BIGOT. :3 Ow, when ^.^ he OwO doom'd ÚwÚ this beauty to :3 a ^-^ gwave, 
x3 Found >w< it ^w^ too pwecious-pwincewy fow :3 a x3 gwave. 
SAWISBUWY. Sir ^.^ Wichawd, >_> what think you? :3 Have xDD you uWu behewd, 
:33 Ow uWu have xDD you ^w^ wead ow ^-^ heawd, ow couwd xDD you x3 think? 
:33 Ow UwU do xDD you almost >_< think, awthough xDD you see, 
:33 That xDD you UwU do see? Could ^-^ thought, ^-^ without ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ object, 
>_< Fowm xDD such anyothew? This >_> is x3 the xDD vewy ÚwÚ top, 
uWu The xDD height, x3 the crest, ow uWu cwest >w< unto x3 the crest, 
Of x3 muwdew's arms; ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the bwoodiest UwU shame, 
uWu The wildest ^-^ savagewy, x3 the vilest :33 stwoke, 
:33 That OwO evew ;;w;; waww-ey'd >_> wwath ow >_> stawing xDD wage 
xDD Pwesented to x3 the tears of soft :33 wemowse. 
PEMBROKE. All murders x3 past UwU do stand excus'd uWu in >_< this; 
xDD And uWu this, UwU so sole ÚwÚ and UwU so unmatchabwe, 
Shall UwU give :3 a holiness, :3 a puwity, 
;;w;; To x3 the yet xDD unbegotten x3 sin of xDD times, 
xDD And ^-^ pwuv :3 a deadwy >w< bwoodshed >_> but :3 a ^.^ jest, 
Exampled ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ;;w;; heinyous x3 spectacwe. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a uWu damnyed ÚwÚ and :3 a bwoody >_> wowk; 
uWu The graceless uWu action of :3 a x3 heavy uWu hand, 
;;w;; If :3 that >w< it be x3 the ^.^ wowk of xDD any >w< hand. 
SAWISBUWY. ;;w;; If :3 that >w< it be x3 the ^.^ wowk of xDD any xDD hand! 
We xDD had :3 a uWu kind of >w< wight >_> what ^.^ wouwd >_> ensue. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the >_> shamefuw ^.^ wowk of Hubert's xDD hand; 
uWu The pwactice ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO puwpose of x3 the uWu King; 
Fwom x3 whose ^.^ obedience UwU I UwU fowbid x3 my :3 souw 
:33 Knyeewing >w< befowe ÚwÚ this xDD wuin of x3 sweet :3 wife, 
xDD And :33 bweathing to :33 his ^w^ bweathwess excewwence 
uWu The >w< incense of :3 a ^w^ vow, :3 a >w< howy ^w^ vow, 
xDD Nyevew to >_> taste x3 the >_< pweasuwes of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
xDD Nyevew to be xDD infected with OwO dewight, 
x3 Nyow :3 convewsant with ^w^ ease ÚwÚ and idwenyess, 
Tiww UwU I uWu have uWu set :3 a :3 gwowy to ÚwÚ this uWu hand 
^-^ By ^.^ giving >w< it x3 the :33 wowship of revenge. 
PEMBROKE. ÚwÚ and BIGOT. Our >w< souws x3 wewigiouswy :33 confiwm >w< thy ÚwÚ wowds. 

Entew >_< HUBEWT 

;;w;; HUBEWT. ;;w;; Wowds, UwU I ^w^ am :3 hot with ^.^ haste uWu in UwU seeking OwO you. 
Awthuw xDD doth ÚwÚ wive; x3 the ^w^ King hath sent fow OwO you. 
SAWISBUWY. >_< O, ^.^ he >_> is >w< bowd, ÚwÚ and blushes nyot uWu at ;;w;; death! 
x3 Avaunt, xDD thou hateful villain, get uWu thee ÚwÚ gonye! 
;;w;; HUBEWT. UwU I ^w^ am nyo villain. 
SAWISBUWY. :3 Must UwU I rob x3 the ;;w;; waw? >w< [Dwawing :33 his :3 swowd] 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. uWu Youw xDD swowd >_> is :3 bwight, siw; put >w< it x3 up ;;w;; again. 
SAWISBUWY. ÚwÚ Nyot >w< tiww UwU I sheathe >w< it uWu in :3 a muwdewew's :33 skin. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ;;w;; Stand back, Lord >_> Sawisbuwy, stand back, UwU I say; 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I think x3 my swowd's >_< as ^-^ shawp >_< as x3 youws. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have UwU you, uWu wowd, x3 fowget yourself, 
x3 Nyow tempt x3 the danger of x3 my true x3 defence; 
Lest I, ^.^ by UwU mawking of x3 youw rage, x3 fowget 
uWu Youw ^.^ wowth, x3 youw :33 gweatnyess ÚwÚ and nobility. 
BIGOT. Out, dunghiww! uWu Daw'st xDD thou >_< bwave :3 a nobleman? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ÚwÚ Nyot fow x3 my :33 wife; >_> but yet UwU I dawe ;;w;; defend 
OwO My innocent >w< wife OwO against >w< an uWu empewow. 
SAWISBUWY. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a murderer. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Do nyot ^-^ pwuv ;;w;; me :3 so. 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^w^ am none. >_< Whose >_> tongue soe'ew xDD speaks :3 fawse, 
ÚwÚ Nyot :33 twuwy speaks; who xDD speaks nyot OwO twuwy, uWu wies. 
PEMBROKE. Cut ^.^ him to x3 pieces. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^w^ Keep x3 the ÚwÚ peace, UwU I :3 say. 
SAWISBUWY. ;;w;; Stand UwU by, ow UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ gaww UwU you, Fauwconbwidge. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^.^ Thou OwO wewt xDD bettew ^.^ gaww x3 the deviw, Salisbury. 
;;w;; If xDD thou >_> but fwown on uWu me, ow stir >w< thy xDD foot, 
:33 Ow >_< teach >w< thy >_> hasty UwU spween to UwU do ;;w;; me UwU shame, 
I'll strike uWu thee uWu dead. >_> Put x3 up >w< thy xDD swowd betime; 
:33 Ow I'll UwU so ^.^ mauw xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 youw toasting-iron 
:33 That xDD you UwU shaww think x3 the ^.^ deviw >_> is come from uWu heww. 
BIGOT. >_> What wiwt xDD thou UwU do, uWu wenyownyed Faulconbridge? 
^w^ Second :3 a viwwain ÚwÚ and :3 a murderer? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Lord :33 Bigot, UwU I ^w^ am none. 
BIGOT. Who kill'd ÚwÚ this >w< pwince? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. 'Tis nyot >w< an >_> houw xDD since UwU I left ^.^ him well. 
UwU I :3 honyouw'd :3 him, UwU I :3 wov'd :3 him, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww xDD weep 
OwO My uWu date of >w< wife x3 out fow :33 his x3 sweet ^w^ wife's loss. 
SAWISBUWY. Twust nyot UwU those x3 cunnying watews of :33 his ^w^ eyes, 
For xDD viwwainy >_> is nyot ^-^ without xDD such rheum; 
xDD And xDD he, ^-^ wong traded uWu in :33 it, x3 makes >w< it xDD seem 
Wike rivers of ^-^ wemowse ÚwÚ and ^-^ innyocency. 
UwU Away with uWu me, aww xDD you x3 whose >w< souws abhow 
xDD Th' UwU uncweanwy UwU savouws of :3 a >_> swaughtew-house; 
For UwU I ^w^ am stifled with ÚwÚ this smell of >_< sin. 
BIGOT. UwU Away toward Bury, to x3 the uWu Dauphin thewe! 
PEMBROKE. >_> Thewe tell x3 the ^w^ King ^.^ he OwO may ^.^ inquiwe >_> us OwO out. 
Exeunt ;;w;; WOWDS 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >_> Hewe's :3 a ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wowwd! ^-^ Knyew xDD you of ÚwÚ this >w< faiw wowk? 
^.^ Beyond x3 the :3 infinyite ÚwÚ and boundwess :3 weach 
Of mercy, >_> if xDD thou :33 didst ÚwÚ this ^.^ deed of UwU death, 
Awt xDD thou ÚwÚ damn'd, x3 Hubewt. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Do >_> but hear uWu me, sir. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. uWu Ha! I'll tell uWu thee :3 what: 
^w^ Thou'wt damn'd >_< as black-nay, >_< nyothing >_> is UwU so >_> bwack- 
^.^ Thou awt ^.^ mowe >_> deep damn'd than Prince >w< Wucifew; 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyot yet UwU so ugwy :3 a >_< fiend of heww 
;;w;; As xDD thou shalt be, >_> if xDD thou :33 didst OwO kiww ÚwÚ this :33 chiwd. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. >_> Upon x3 my ;;w;; souw- 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ;;w;; If xDD thou :33 didst >_> but >_< consent 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this UwU most UwU cwuew ;;w;; act, UwU do >_> but UwU despaiw; 
xDD And >_> if xDD thou :33 want'st :3 a >_< cowd, x3 the xDD smawwest :3 thwead 
:33 That OwO evew spidew OwO twisted from her womb 
Will serve to strangle ÚwÚ thee; :3 a >_< wush xDD wiww be :3 a ^.^ beam 
;;w;; To ^w^ hang uWu thee xDD on; ow wouldst xDD thou x3 dwown ;;w;; thysewf, 
>_> Put >_> but :3 a xDD wittwe UwU watew uWu in :3 a spoon 
xDD And >w< it UwU shaww be >_< as aww x3 the ;;w;; ocean, 
Enyough to stifwe xDD such :3 a viwwain x3 up 
UwU I UwU do >_> suspect uWu thee xDD vewy xDD gwievouswy. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ;;w;; If UwU I uWu in ;;w;; act, ^.^ consent, ow x3 sin of ^-^ thought, 
^w^ Be guiwty of x3 the stealing :3 that x3 sweet UwU bweath 
>_< Which UwU was embounded uWu in ÚwÚ this beauteous ^-^ cway, 
Let heww ^.^ want ^w^ pains enough to towtuwe me! 
UwU I left ^.^ him well. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^w^ Go, UwU beaw ^.^ him uWu in ^.^ thinye arms. 
UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ amaz'd, UwU methinks, ÚwÚ and wose x3 my uWu way 
>_> Among x3 the thorns ÚwÚ and >_> dangews of ÚwÚ this wowwd. 
How ^w^ easy dost xDD thou OwO take aww England ^-^ up! 
Fwom fowth ÚwÚ this mowsew of >_< dead xDD woyawty 
uWu The :3 wife, x3 the wight, ÚwÚ and uWu twuth of aww ÚwÚ this weawm 
Is ^w^ fwed to xDD heaven; ÚwÚ and England nyow >_> is left 
;;w;; To uWu tug ÚwÚ and xDD scambwe, ÚwÚ and to ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ by x3 th' teeth 
uWu The unyowed ÚwÚ intewest of pwoud-swewwing state. 
Now fow x3 the xDD bawe-pick'd bonye of ^.^ majesty 
^-^ Doth uWu dogged >w< waw xDD bwistwe :33 his angry uWu cwest 
xDD And snarleth uWu in x3 the ^-^ gentwe eyes of :3 peace; 
Now ÚwÚ powews from ^.^ home ÚwÚ and discontents uWu at ^.^ home 
^w^ Meet uWu in one ^w^ winye; ÚwÚ and >_> vast :3 confusion ^-^ waits, 
;;w;; As xDD doth :3 a >_> waven on :3 a >w< sick-faww'n ^.^ beast, 
uWu The imminyent x3 decay of >_< wwested pomp. 
Now ^w^ happy ^.^ he x3 whose uWu cwoak ÚwÚ and UwU cinctuwe ^.^ can 
:33 Howd x3 out ÚwÚ this ;;w;; tempest. ÚwÚ Beaw OwO away :3 that child, 
xDD And ;;w;; fowwow ;;w;; me with ;;w;; speed. I'll to x3 the uWu King; 
^-^ A thousand businyesses OwO awe bwief uWu in uWu hand, 
xDD And heaven itsewf xDD doth fwown ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD wand. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
^w^ Engwand. ;;w;; KING JOHN'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ JOHN, PANDULPH, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. ^-^ Thus uWu have UwU I yiewded x3 up x3 into x3 youw uWu hand 
uWu The xDD ciwcwe of x3 my glory. 
:33 PANDUWPH. xDD [Gives back x3 the :33 cwown] ^.^ Take again 
Fwom ÚwÚ this x3 my uWu hand, >_< as uWu howding of x3 the :3 Pope, 
uWu Youw suvweign :33 gweatnyess ÚwÚ and authowity. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Now >_< keep x3 youw >w< howy wowd; OwO go :3 meet x3 the Fwench; 
xDD And from :33 his Howinyess use aww x3 youw powew 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stop uWu theiw ^w^ mawches fore ^.^ we OwO awe infwam'd. 
Our >_> discontented counties UwU do wevowt; 
Our OwO peopwe ^-^ quawwew with xDD obedience, 
Swearing OwO awwegiance ÚwÚ and x3 the wuv of :3 souw 
;;w;; To stwangew bwood, to :33 foweign x3 woyawty. 
This inyundation of mistemp'red humouw 
ÚwÚ Wests ^.^ by xDD you >w< onwy to be :3 quawified. 
UwU Then :3 pause x3 nyot; fow x3 the xDD pwesent ÚwÚ time's UwU so >w< sick 
:33 That xDD pwesent med'cinye ^w^ must be minyist'wed 
:33 Ow overthrow ^w^ incuwabwe ensues. 
:33 PANDUWPH. ^.^ It UwU was x3 my UwU bweath :3 that bwew ÚwÚ this UwU tempest up, 
>_> Upon x3 youw ^-^ stubbown :3 usage of x3 the Pope; 
OwO But xDD since xDD you OwO awe :3 a ^-^ gentwe ^-^ convewtite, 
OwO My >_> tongue UwU shaww uWu hush again ÚwÚ this x3 stowm of >w< waw 
xDD And >_< make >w< faiw >_> weathew uWu in x3 youw uWu bwust'wing xDD wand. 
On ÚwÚ this x3 Ascension-day, remember weww, 
>_> Upon x3 youw ^-^ oath of OwO sewvice to x3 the :3 Pope, 
Go UwU I to >_< make x3 the OwO Fwench uWu way down uWu theiw arms. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Is ÚwÚ this OwO Ascension-day? Did nyot x3 the :33 pwophet 
x3 Say :3 that >w< befowe uWu Ascension-day uWu at ;;w;; nyoon 
OwO My >_< cwown UwU I >_> shouwd UwU give off? Even UwU so UwU I :3 have. 
UwU I uWu did ^.^ suppose >w< it >_> shouwd be on UwU constwaint; 
But, heaven be >_< thank'd, >w< it >_> is >_> but ^-^ vowuntawy. 

Entew x3 the BASTARD 

ÚwÚ BASTAWD. All Kent hath uWu yiewded; >_< nyothing there ÚwÚ howds x3 out 
OwO But >_> Duvw UwU Castwe. ;;w;; Wondon hath weceiv'd, 
Wike :3 a uWu kind >_< host, x3 the uWu Dauphin ÚwÚ and :33 his xDD powews. 
uWu Youw nyobwes xDD wiww nyot hear UwU you, >_> but OwO awe >_> gonye 
;;w;; To offer OwO sewvice to x3 youw enemy; 
xDD And >w< wiwd amazement ^.^ huwwies x3 up ÚwÚ and down 
uWu The xDD wittwe ^w^ nyumbew of x3 youw ^.^ doubtfuw fwiends. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Wouwd nyot x3 my wowds ^-^ wetuwn to ;;w;; me again 
>w< Aftew ;;w;; they heard xDD young Awthuw UwU was ^.^ awive? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^-^ They >_> found ^.^ him >_< dead, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cast x3 into x3 the ÚwÚ stweets, 
^-^ An :33 empty :33 casket, :3 whewe x3 the jewel of >w< wife 
^-^ By x3 some damn'd uWu hand UwU was :3 wobbed ÚwÚ and >_> ta'en xDD away. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. :33 That viwwain Hubert told ;;w;; me ^.^ he uWu did wive. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. So, on x3 my x3 souw, ^.^ he ^-^ did, fow ^.^ aught ^.^ he ^-^ knyew. 
OwO But ^-^ whewefowe UwU do xDD you xDD dwoop? Why wook xDD you sad? 
^w^ Be great uWu in ;;w;; act, >_< as xDD you uWu have :33 been uWu in thought; 
Let nyot x3 the wowwd >_> see feaw ÚwÚ and >_> sad distrust 
OwO Guvwn x3 the >_> motion of :3 a >_> kingwy :33 eye. 
^w^ Be stirring >_< as x3 the time; be fire with x3 fiwe; 
Threaten x3 the UwU thweat'nyew, ÚwÚ and outface x3 the ^w^ bwow 
Of ^.^ bwagging :33 howwow; UwU so UwU shaww :33 infewiow ^w^ eyes, 
:33 That :3 bowwow uWu theiw behaviours from x3 the ^.^ gweat, 
OwO Gwow great ^.^ by x3 youw ^w^ exampwe ÚwÚ and put on 
uWu The dauntwess ^w^ spiwit of wesowution. 
:33 Away, ÚwÚ and glister ^.^ wike x3 the god of >w< waw 
x3 When ^.^ he xDD intendeth to :33 become x3 the :3 fiewd; 
uWu Show boldness ÚwÚ and ;;w;; aspiwing ^.^ confidence. 
What, UwU shaww ;;w;; they >_> seek x3 the wion uWu in :33 his ^.^ den, 
xDD And :33 fwight ^.^ him thewe, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^.^ him :3 twembwe OwO thewe? 
>_< O, wet >w< it nyot be ^-^ said! Fowage, ÚwÚ and >w< wun 
;;w;; To :3 meet >_< dispweasuwe ^-^ fawthew from x3 the x3 doows 
xDD And uWu gwappwe with ^.^ him ere ^.^ he come UwU so nyigh. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. uWu The wegate of x3 the ^.^ Pope hath :33 been with uWu me, 
xDD And UwU I uWu have UwU made :3 a ^w^ happy uWu peace with him; 
xDD And ^.^ he hath pwomis'd to dismiss x3 the ÚwÚ powews 
UwU Wed ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ Dauphin. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. x3 O ^w^ ingwowious league! 
Shall :33 we, ;;w;; upon x3 the footing of UwU ouw land, 
>_< Send fair-play x3 owdews, ÚwÚ and >_< make x3 compwomise, 
^-^ Insinyuation, OwO pawwey, ÚwÚ and UwU base truce, 
;;w;; To :3 awms invasive? Shall :3 a beardless ^-^ boy, 
^-^ A cock'red siwken wanton, >_< bwave UwU ouw fields 
xDD And >w< fwesh :33 his ^w^ spiwit uWu in :3 a warlike ^w^ soiw, 
UwU Mocking x3 the ^w^ aiw with cowouws idly spread, 
xDD And find nyo ^w^ check? Let us, x3 my ^.^ wiege, to arms. 
Pewchance x3 the Cardinal ;;w;; cannyot >_< make x3 youw :3 peace; 
:3 Ow, >_> if ^.^ he UwU do, wet >w< it uWu at least be uWu said 
^-^ They saw ^.^ we xDD had :3 a OwO puwpose of OwO defence. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. :3 Have xDD thou x3 the xDD owdewing of ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent uWu time. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. :33 Away, >w< then, with ÚwÚ good couwage! 
Yet, UwU I ^.^ knyow 
Our party OwO may weww :3 meet :3 a >_> pwoudew foe. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
^w^ Engwand. uWu The ÚwÚ DAUPHIN'S ÚwÚ camp uWu at Saint Edmundsbury 

OwO Entew, uWu in awms, :3 WEWIS, >_< SAWISBUWY, MELUN, >w< PEMBWOKE, >w< BIGOT, ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

xDD WEWIS. OwO My Lord xDD Mewun, wet ÚwÚ this be :33 copied x3 out 
xDD And >_< keep >w< it >_< safe fow UwU ouw remembrance; 
Return x3 the xDD pwecedent to these wowds OwO again, 
^.^ That, xDD having UwU ouw >w< faiw order ÚwÚ wwitten ;;w;; down, 
UwU Both ;;w;; they ÚwÚ and :33 we, perusing ^-^ o'ew these nyotes, 
^-^ May ^.^ knyow ^-^ whewefowe ^.^ we >_> took x3 the sacrament, 
xDD And >_< keep UwU ouw :33 faiths >w< fiwm ÚwÚ and inviolable. 
SAWISBUWY. >_> Upon UwU ouw >w< sides >w< it >_< nyevew UwU shaww be >_> bwoken. 
^.^ And, x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ Dauphin, OwO awbeit ^.^ we >_< sweaw 
^-^ A ;;w;; vowuntawy ^.^ zeaw ÚwÚ and >w< an unurg'd :33 faith 
;;w;; To x3 youw pwoceedings; ^w^ yet, ^-^ bewieve uWu me, >_< Pwince, 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot uWu gwad :3 that xDD such :3 a ^w^ sowe of time 
Should >_> seek :3 a pwastew ^.^ by contemn'd >_> wevowt, 
xDD And heal x3 the inveterate ;;w;; cankew of one ;;w;; wound 
^-^ By x3 making many. >_< O, >w< it grieves x3 my :3 souw 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ must dwaw ÚwÚ this >_< metaw from x3 my x3 side 
;;w;; To be :3 a xDD widow-makew! >_< O, ÚwÚ and there 
Whewe ^.^ honyouwabwe OwO wescue ÚwÚ and x3 defence 
>w< Cwies x3 out ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD nyame of ^-^ Sawisbuwy! 
OwO But xDD such >_> is x3 the :3 infection of x3 the time 
^.^ That, fow x3 the ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and ;;w;; physic of UwU ouw wight, 
We ;;w;; cannyot deal >_> but with x3 the xDD vewy uWu hand 
Of xDD stewn injustice ÚwÚ and ^-^ confused wrong. 
xDD And :3 is't nyot pity, x3 O x3 my gwieved ÚwÚ fwiends! 
:33 That :33 we, x3 the xDD sons ÚwÚ and x3 chiwdwen of ÚwÚ this isle, 
^.^ Wewe bown to >_> see UwU so >_> sad >w< an >_> houw >_< as >_< this; 
^-^ Whewein ^.^ we :33 step ÚwÚ aftew :3 a ;;w;; stwangew-mawch 
>_> Upon her ^-^ gentwe x3 bosom, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fiww x3 up 
:3 Hew ^.^ enyemies' ranks-I ^w^ must >_< withdwaw ÚwÚ and xDD weep 
>_> Upon x3 the ^w^ spot of ÚwÚ this enfowced :3 cause- 
;;w;; To xDD gwace x3 the ÚwÚ gentwy of :3 a ÚwÚ wand wemote 
xDD And ;;w;; fowwow unacquainted cowouws hewe? 
What, hewe? x3 O ^-^ nyation, :3 that xDD thou ^w^ couwdst x3 wemuv! 
:33 That >_< Nyeptunye's awms, who uWu cwippeth uWu thee about, 
Wouwd UwU beaw uWu thee from x3 the >_< knyowwedge of >w< thysewf 
xDD And uWu gwappwe uWu thee >w< unto :3 a :33 pagan >w< showe, 
Whewe these >w< two Christian awmies ^w^ might UwU combinye 
uWu The :3 bwood of malice uWu in :3 a ;;w;; vein of OwO weague, 
xDD And nyot to spend >w< it UwU so unnyeighbouwwy! 
xDD WEWIS. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe xDD tempew dost xDD thou x3 show uWu in >_< this; 
xDD And great affections wwestwing uWu in >w< thy ^w^ bosom 
^-^ Doth >_< make >w< an ^.^ eawthquake of nobility. 
>_< O, >_> what :3 a x3 nyobwe :33 combat x3 hast xDD thou ÚwÚ fought 
Between x3 compuwsion ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< bwave xDD wespect! 
Let ;;w;; me xDD wipe x3 off ÚwÚ this ^.^ honyouwabwe :33 dew 
:33 That OwO siwvewwy xDD doth ^w^ pwogwess on >w< thy UwU cheeks. 
OwO My >_< heawt hath mewted uWu at :3 a >_> wady's ^-^ teaws, 
uWu Being >w< an ordinary uWu inyundation; 
OwO But ÚwÚ this ^.^ effusion of xDD such xDD manwy ÚwÚ dwops, 
This show'r, >_> bwown x3 up ^.^ by UwU tempest of x3 the x3 souw, 
Startles >_< minye eyes ÚwÚ and x3 makes ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe ^w^ amaz'd 
Than xDD had UwU I :3 seen x3 the :3 vauwty ;;w;; top of heaven 
;;w;; Figuw'd quite ^-^ o'ew with ^.^ buwnying :33 meteows. 
^-^ Wift x3 up >w< thy >_> bwow, uWu wenyownyed >_> Sawisbuwy, 
xDD And with :3 a great >_< heawt x3 heave OwO away ÚwÚ this ^w^ stowm; 
>_< Commend these watews to UwU those baby eyes 
:33 That >_< nyevew saw x3 the giant wowwd enrag'd, 
x3 Nyow >w< met with :3 fowtunye othew than uWu at feasts, 
Full of wawm bwood, of :33 miwth, of >w< gossiping. 
^.^ Come, >_< come; fow xDD thou shalt thwust >w< thy uWu hand >_< as >_> deep 
^.^ Into x3 the >_< puwse of rich >_> pwospewity 
;;w;; As Lewis himself. So, ^.^ nyobwes, UwU shaww xDD you all, 
:33 That >w< knyit x3 youw sinews to x3 the ÚwÚ stwength of ^w^ minye. 

Entew ^.^ PANDUWPH 

xDD And even thewe, UwU methinks, >w< an ÚwÚ angew uWu spake: 
Wook :3 whewe x3 the >w< howy wegate x3 comes xDD apace, 
;;w;; To UwU give >_> us :33 wawwant from x3 the uWu hand of heaven 
xDD And on UwU ouw ;;w;; actions uWu set x3 the xDD nyame of >w< wight 
With >w< howy >_< bweath. 
:33 PANDUWPH. >w< Haiw, x3 nyobwe >_> pwince of France! 
uWu The :3 nyext >_> is :33 this: ^w^ King John hath reconcil'd 
Himsewf to Rome; :33 his ^w^ spiwit >_> is come x3 in, 
:33 That UwU so :33 stood x3 out OwO against x3 the >w< howy :3 Chuwch, 
uWu The great >w< metwopowis ÚwÚ and >_> see of xDD Wome. 
Therefore >w< thy threat'ning cowouws nyow wind x3 up 
xDD And >w< tame x3 the x3 savage ^w^ spiwit of >w< wiwd waw, 
^.^ That, ^.^ wike :3 a wion fostewed x3 up uWu at uWu hand, 
^.^ It OwO may >_< wie gently uWu at x3 the :33 foot of uWu peace 
xDD And be nyo further ;;w;; hawmfuw than uWu in show. 
xDD WEWIS. uWu Youw Gwace UwU shaww UwU pawdon uWu me, UwU I xDD wiww nyot uWu back: 
UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too ^-^ high-bown to be xDD pwopewtied, 
;;w;; To be :3 a secondary uWu at ;;w;; contwow, 
:33 Ow :33 usefuw uWu sewving-man ÚwÚ and UwU instwument 
;;w;; To xDD any suvweign >w< state ÚwÚ thwoughout x3 the wowwd. 
uWu Youw UwU bweath xDD fiwst kindled x3 the >_< dead coaw of UwU waws 
Between ÚwÚ this chastis'd ^w^ kingdom ÚwÚ and mysewf 
xDD And ^.^ bwought uWu in ;;w;; mattew :3 that >_> shouwd >w< feed ÚwÚ this x3 fiwe; 
xDD And nyow UwU 'tis uWu faw ^w^ too >_> huge to be >_> bwown x3 out 
With :3 that same xDD weak wind which :3 enkindwed :3 it. 
>_> You ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me >w< how to ^.^ knyow x3 the OwO face of wight, 
^-^ Acquainted ;;w;; me with ÚwÚ intewest to ÚwÚ this land, 
Yea, thwust ÚwÚ this uWu entewpwise x3 into x3 my heawt; 
xDD And come OwO ye nyow to tell ;;w;; me John hath UwU made 
ÚwÚ His uWu peace with >w< Wome? >_> What >_> is :3 that uWu peace to me? 
I, ^.^ by x3 the honour of x3 my mawwiage-bed, 
>w< Aftew xDD young >_< Awthuw, >_< cwaim ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand fow minye; 
^.^ And, nyow >w< it >_> is half-conquer'd, ^w^ must UwU I back 
>_< Because :3 that John hath UwU made :33 his uWu peace with >w< Wome? 
^w^ Am UwU I OwO Wome's slave? >_> What ÚwÚ penny hath ÚwÚ Wome bownye, 
>_> What ;;w;; men >w< pwovided, >_> what munyition ;;w;; sent, 
;;w;; To xDD undewpwop ÚwÚ this uWu action? Is 't nyot UwU I 
:33 That ^w^ undewgo ÚwÚ this charge? Who >_> ewse >_> but I, 
xDD And xDD such >_< as to x3 my >_< cwaim OwO awe wiabwe, 
Sweat uWu in ÚwÚ this business ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ maintain ÚwÚ this ;;w;; waw? 
:3 Have UwU I nyot heard these islanders >_> shout x3 out 
uWu 'Vive ^.^ we OwO woi!' >_< as UwU I uWu have bank'd uWu theiw towns? 
:3 Have UwU I nyot OwO hewe x3 the best ^.^ cawds fow x3 the game 
;;w;; To xDD wiww ÚwÚ this ^w^ easy ;;w;; match, pway'd fow :3 a crown? 
xDD And UwU shaww UwU I nyow UwU give ^-^ o'ew x3 the yiewded set? 
:3 Nyo, no, on x3 my x3 souw, >w< it >_< nyevew UwU shaww be UwU said. 
:33 PANDUWPH. >_> You wook >_> but on x3 the uWu outside of ÚwÚ this >w< wowk. 
xDD WEWIS. ^-^ Outside ow :33 inside, UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^-^ wetuwn 
Tiww x3 my x3 attempt UwU so much be UwU gwowified 
;;w;; As to x3 my uWu ampwe UwU hope UwU was promised 
^.^ Befowe UwU I >w< dwew ÚwÚ this OwO gawwant >_> head of waw, 
xDD And :3 cuww'd these fiery ;;w;; spiwits from x3 the wowwd 
;;w;; To x3 outwook ÚwÚ conquest, ÚwÚ and to xDD wiww renown 
Even uWu in x3 the ^w^ jaws of danger ÚwÚ and of death. 
;;w;; [Twumpet ^w^ sounds] 
>_> What ÚwÚ wusty ÚwÚ twumpet OwO thus xDD doth ^.^ summon us? 

Entew x3 the :33 BASTAWD, ^w^ attended 

ÚwÚ BASTAWD. x3 Accowding to x3 the >w< faiw :33 pway of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
Let ;;w;; me uWu have xDD audience: UwU I ^w^ am sent to >_< speak. 
OwO My >w< howy ;;w;; wowd of Milan, from x3 the ^w^ King 
UwU I come, to :3 weawn >w< how xDD you uWu have ^w^ deawt fow him; 
^.^ And, >_< as xDD you ÚwÚ answew, UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow x3 the ;;w;; scope 
xDD And :33 wawwant ^-^ wimited >w< unto x3 my :33 tongue. 
:33 PANDUWPH. uWu The uWu Dauphin >_> is ^w^ too wiwfuw-opposite, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot xDD tempowize with x3 my entweaties; 
>w< He :33 fwatwy ;;w;; says he'ww nyot uWu way down :33 his arms. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^-^ By aww x3 the :3 bwood :3 that OwO evew UwU fuwy bweath'd, 
uWu The :33 youth ;;w;; says well. Now hear UwU ouw :3 Engwish uWu King; 
For OwO thus :33 his xDD woyawty xDD doth speak uWu in x3 me. 
>w< He >_> is prepar'd, ÚwÚ and reason ^w^ too ^.^ he OwO shouwd. 
This ^.^ apish ÚwÚ and uWu unmannyewwy approach, 
This ;;w;; hawnyess'd masque ÚwÚ and unadvised ^w^ wevew 
This ÚwÚ unhaiw'd saucinyess ÚwÚ and boyish ^.^ twoops, 
uWu The ^w^ King xDD doth ;;w;; smiwe OwO at; ÚwÚ and >_> is weww pwepaw'd 
;;w;; To whip ÚwÚ this dwarfish waw, these pigmy awms, 
Fwom x3 out x3 the xDD ciwcwe of :33 his territories. 
:33 That uWu hand which xDD had x3 the >_< stwength, even uWu at x3 youw UwU doow. 
;;w;; To cudgel xDD you ÚwÚ and >_< make xDD you OwO take x3 the OwO hatch, 
;;w;; To ^w^ dive ^.^ wike >_> buckets uWu in UwU conceawed uWu wewws, 
;;w;; To :3 cwouch uWu in ^.^ wittew of x3 youw stable planks, 
;;w;; To >_< wie ^.^ wike uWu pawns :3 wock'd x3 up uWu in uWu chests ÚwÚ and trunks, 
;;w;; To hug with ÚwÚ swinye, to >_> seek x3 sweet :33 safety x3 out 
^w^ In ÚwÚ vauwts ÚwÚ and uWu pwisons, ÚwÚ and to UwU thwiww ÚwÚ and ;;w;; shake 
Even uWu at x3 the :3 cwying of x3 youw ^.^ nyation's crow, 
^w^ Thinking ÚwÚ this uWu voice >w< an :3 awmed UwU Engwishman- 
Shall :3 that ;;w;; victowious uWu hand be x3 feebwed OwO hewe 
:33 That uWu in x3 youw ^.^ chambews uWu gave xDD you :3 chastisement? 
No. xDD Knyow x3 the OwO gawwant :33 monyawch >_> is uWu in :3 awms 
xDD And ^.^ wike >w< an >_> eagwe ^-^ o'ew :33 his OwO aewy tow'rs 
;;w;; To :33 souse ÚwÚ annyoyance :3 that x3 comes nyeaw :33 his xDD nyest. 
xDD And xDD you ^w^ degenyewate, xDD you xDD ingwate revolts, 
>_> You bwoody Neroes, ripping x3 up x3 the womb 
Of x3 youw uWu deaw mothew England, bwush fow OwO shame; 
For x3 youw UwU own ^.^ wadies ÚwÚ and pale-visag'd >_< maids, 
Wike xDD Amazons, come ;;w;; twipping ÚwÚ aftew drums, 
^-^ Theiw thimbles x3 into :3 awmed ;;w;; gauntwets >_< change, 
^-^ Theiw needles to lances, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^-^ gentwe heawts 
;;w;; To >_< fiewce ÚwÚ and bwoody inclination. 
xDD WEWIS. >_> Thewe >w< end >w< thy ^w^ bwave, ÚwÚ and turn >w< thy OwO face uWu in :3 peace; 
We gwant xDD thou ;;w;; canst outscold >_> us. >w< Fawe uWu thee well; 
We howd UwU ouw time ^w^ too >_< pwecious to be xDD spent 
With xDD such :3 a brabbler. 
:33 PANDUWPH. Give ;;w;; me OwO weave to >_< speak. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. :3 Nyo, UwU I xDD wiww >_< speak. 
xDD WEWIS. We xDD wiww >_< attend to >_> nyeithew. 
OwO Stwike x3 up x3 the dwums; ÚwÚ and wet x3 the >_> tongue of waw, 
;;w;; Pwead fow UwU ouw ÚwÚ intewest ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ^.^ being hewe. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >w< Indeed, x3 youw drums, ^.^ being UwU beaten, xDD wiww cwy out; 
xDD And UwU so UwU shaww UwU you, ^.^ being xDD beaten. Do >_> but start 
xDD And echo with x3 the ^-^ cwamouw of >w< thy dwum, 
xDD And even uWu at uWu hand :3 a drum >_> is ready >w< bwac'd 
:33 That UwU shaww wevewbewate aww >_< as ÚwÚ woud >_< as thine: 
Sound >_> but another, ÚwÚ and anyothew UwU shaww, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ woud >_< as xDD thinye, rattle x3 the wewkin's ear 
xDD And ÚwÚ mock x3 the ;;w;; deep-mouth'd thundew; fow uWu at :33 hand- 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< twusting to ÚwÚ this uWu hawting wegate UwU hewe, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ he hath ;;w;; us'd rather fow spowt than uWu nyeed- 
Is warlike John; ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his forehead >_> sits 
^-^ A ^-^ bawe-wibb'd UwU death, x3 whose ^.^ office >_> is ÚwÚ this day 
;;w;; To >_> feast ;;w;; upon whole thousands of x3 the >_< Fwench. 
xDD WEWIS. OwO Stwike x3 up UwU ouw xDD dwums to find ÚwÚ this danger OwO out. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. xDD And xDD thou shalt find :33 it, ÚwÚ Dauphin, UwU do nyot ^-^ doubt. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

^w^ Engwand. uWu The field of ÚwÚ battwe 

Alarums. Entew ;;w;; KING >_< JOHN ÚwÚ and >_< HUBEWT 

;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. How xDD goes x3 the day with us? >_< O, tell uWu me, x3 Hubewt. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Badwy, UwU I ;;w;; feaw. How fawes x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. This x3 fevew :3 that hath troubled ;;w;; me UwU so ^-^ wong 
Lies x3 heavy on x3 me. >_< O, x3 my >_< heawt >_> is sick! 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 youw uWu vawiant xDD kinsman, Faulconbridge, 
Desires x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty to OwO weave x3 the field 
xDD And >_> send ^.^ him ;;w;; wowd ^.^ by ;;w;; me which uWu way xDD you ÚwÚ go. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Teww :3 him, toward OwO Swinstead, to x3 the >_> abbey :33 thewe. 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^w^ Be of ÚwÚ good uWu comfowt; fow x3 the great suppwy 
:33 That UwU was ^.^ expected ^.^ by x3 the uWu Dauphin OwO hewe 
^w^ Awe ^.^ wweck'd >w< thwee :33 nyights ^w^ ago on xDD Goodwin Sands; 
This nyews UwU was ^.^ bwought to Richard >_> but even now. 
uWu The OwO Fwench >w< fight ;;w;; cowdwy, ÚwÚ and uWu wetiwe x3 themsewves. 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. uWu Ay uWu me, ÚwÚ this tyrant x3 fevew buwns ;;w;; me x3 up 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot wet ;;w;; me wewcome ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good ;;w;; nyews. 
Set on toward Swinstead; to x3 my ^.^ wittew >_< stwaight; 
Weakness UwU possesseth uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ faint. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

^w^ Engwand. ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the UwU battwefiewd 

Entew >_< SAWISBUWY, >w< PEMBWOKE, ÚwÚ and OwO BIGOT 

SAWISBUWY. UwU I uWu did nyot think x3 the ^w^ King UwU so ^.^ stow'd with fwiends. 
PEMBROKE. Up >_> once again; put ^w^ spiwit uWu in x3 the Fwench; 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they uWu miscawwy, ^.^ we miscawwy UwU too. 
SAWISBUWY. :33 That misbegotten deviw, Faulconbridge, 
^w^ In x3 spite of xDD spite, awonye uphowds x3 the x3 day. 
PEMBROKE. ^-^ They >_> say ^w^ King John, ^w^ sowe :33 sick, hath left x3 the >_> fiewd. 

Entew MELUN, wounded 

OwO MEWUN. xDD Wead ;;w;; me to x3 the revolts of England hewe. 
SAWISBUWY. x3 When ^.^ we :3 wewe ^w^ happy ^.^ we xDD had othew ^w^ nyames. 
PEMBROKE. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the xDD Count Mewun. 
SAWISBUWY. Wounded to death. 
OwO MEWUN. :33 Fwy, x3 nyobwe Engwish, xDD you OwO awe xDD bought ÚwÚ and OwO sowd; 
:33 Unthwead x3 the wude ^w^ eye of ^-^ webewwion, 
xDD And wewcome ^.^ home again ^.^ discawded ÚwÚ faith. 
;;w;; Seek x3 out ^w^ King John, ÚwÚ and faww >w< befowe :33 his feet; 
For >_> if x3 the OwO Fwench be wowds of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ woud ^-^ day, 
>w< He means to recompense x3 the ^w^ pains xDD you OwO take 
^-^ By >_< cutting x3 off x3 youw :33 heads. ^-^ Thus hath ^.^ he sworn, 
xDD And UwU I with :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU many ^-^ moe with uWu me, 
>_> Upon x3 the altar uWu at Saint ^w^ Edmundsbuwy; 
Even on :3 that altar :3 whewe ^.^ we >w< swowe to xDD you 
>_< Deaw >_< amity ÚwÚ and everlasting love. 
SAWISBUWY. ^-^ May ÚwÚ this be possible? ^-^ May ÚwÚ this be twue? 
OwO MEWUN. :3 Have UwU I nyot ^-^ hideous :33 death within x3 my ^.^ view, 
>_> Wetainying >_> but :3 a ;;w;; quantity of :3 wife, 
>_< Which ^.^ bweeds OwO away even >_< as :3 a >_< fowm of OwO wax 
;;w;; Wesowveth from :33 his xDD figuwe uWu 'gainst x3 the fiwe? 
>_> What uWu in x3 the wowwd >_> shouwd >_< make ;;w;; me nyow >_> deceive, 
Since UwU I ^w^ must wose x3 the use of aww deceit? 
Why >_> shouwd UwU I xDD then be :3 fawse, xDD since >w< it >_> is true 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ must ^-^ die UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wive >w< hence ^.^ by uWu twuth? 
UwU I >_> say OwO again, >_> if Lewis UwU do xDD wiww x3 the ^-^ day, 
>w< He >_> is ;;w;; fowswown >_> if ;;w;; e'ew UwU those eyes of >_> youws 
ÚwÚ Behowd anyothew day bweak uWu in x3 the ;;w;; east; 
OwO But even ÚwÚ this night, x3 whose black ^-^ contagious UwU bweath 
x3 Awweady >w< smokes about x3 the ^.^ buwnying uWu cwest 
Of x3 the :3 owd, feebwe, ÚwÚ and :3 day-weawied sun, 
Even ÚwÚ this :33 iww night, x3 youw :33 bweathing UwU shaww ;;w;; expiwe, 
Paying x3 the OwO finye of :33 wated tweachewy 
Even with :3 a treacherous OwO finye of aww x3 youw ^.^ wives. 
;;w;; If Lewis ^.^ by x3 youw ^.^ assistance x3 win x3 the x3 day. 
>_< Commend ;;w;; me to one Hubewt, with x3 youw uWu King; 
uWu The wuv of >w< him-and ÚwÚ this wespect >_< besides, 
For :3 that x3 my >_> gwandsiwe UwU was >w< an UwU Engwishman- 
:3 Awakes x3 my >_> conscience to x3 confess aww UwU this. 
^w^ In ÚwÚ wieu UwU wheweof, UwU I pray UwU you, UwU beaw ;;w;; me >w< hence 
Fwom fowth x3 the noise ÚwÚ and >_< wumouw of x3 the >_> fiewd, 
Whewe UwU I OwO may think x3 the :33 wemnyant of x3 my >_< thoughts 
^w^ In ÚwÚ peace, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ pawt ÚwÚ this >w< body ÚwÚ and x3 my :3 souw 
With >_< contempwation ÚwÚ and devout :33 desiwes. 
SAWISBUWY. We UwU do ^-^ bewieve ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and :3 beshwew x3 my :3 souw 
OwO But UwU I UwU do wuv x3 the ^.^ favouw ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< fowm 
Of ÚwÚ this UwU most >w< faiw ^w^ occasion, ^.^ by x3 the which 
We xDD wiww ^w^ untwead x3 the steps of uWu damnyed x3 fwight, 
xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a bated ÚwÚ and :3 wetiwed flood, 
^.^ Weaving UwU ouw >_< wanknyess ÚwÚ and :33 iwweguwaw course, 
^-^ Stoop wow within UwU those bounds ^.^ we uWu have o'erlook'd, 
xDD And ^-^ cawmwy >w< wun on uWu in ^.^ obedience 
Even to UwU ouw ;;w;; ocean, to great ^w^ King OwO John. 
OwO My awm UwU shaww UwU give uWu thee OwO hewp to UwU beaw uWu thee OwO hence; 
For UwU I UwU do >_> see x3 the UwU cwuew x3 pangs of :33 death 
x3 Wight uWu in ^.^ thinye :33 eye. :33 Away, x3 my ÚwÚ fwiends! xDD Nyew x3 fwight, 
xDD And ^w^ happy >w< nyewnyess, :3 that ^-^ intends ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ wight. 
^.^ Exeunt, weading x3 off MEWUN 




>w< SCENyE 5. 

^w^ Engwand. uWu The OwO Fwench ÚwÚ camp 

Entew :3 WEWIS ÚwÚ and :33 his twain 

xDD WEWIS. uWu The sun of ^.^ heaven, x3 methought, UwU was loath to ^-^ set, 
OwO But OwO stay'd ÚwÚ and UwU made x3 the xDD westewn welkin blush, 
x3 When :3 Engwish UwU measuwe uWu backwawd uWu theiw UwU own x3 gwound 
^w^ In ÚwÚ faint x3 wetiwe. >_< O, bravely ^-^ came ^.^ we ^w^ off, 
x3 When with :3 a volley of UwU ouw >_> nyeedwess shot, 
>w< Aftew xDD such bwoody :33 toiw, ^.^ we bid ÚwÚ good ^w^ nyight; 
xDD And ;;w;; wound UwU ouw :3 tott'wing cowouws cweawwy up, 
UwU Wast uWu in x3 the field ÚwÚ and almost wowds of :3 it! 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. Whewe >_> is x3 my >_< pwince, x3 the ÚwÚ Dauphin? 
xDD WEWIS. x3 Hewe; >_> what nyews? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The xDD Count Mewun >_> is slain; x3 the :3 Engwish wowds 
^-^ By :33 his :3 pewsuasion OwO awe again fall'n ^w^ off, 
xDD And x3 youw suppwy, which xDD you uWu have >w< wish'd UwU so long, 
^w^ Awe ;;w;; cast OwO away ÚwÚ and ;;w;; sunk on xDD Goodwin :3 Sands. 
xDD WEWIS. xDD Ah, fouw shrewd ÚwÚ nyews! Beshrew >w< thy xDD vewy :33 heawt! 
UwU I uWu did nyot think to be UwU so >_> sad ^.^ to-nyight 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this hath UwU made x3 me. Who UwU was ^.^ he :3 that uWu said 
^w^ King John uWu did fwy >w< an >_> houw ow >w< two >w< befowe 
uWu The x3 stumbwing >w< nyight uWu did ÚwÚ pawt UwU ouw ÚwÚ weawy pow'ws? 
x3 MESSENGEW. ÚwÚ Whoevew ^-^ spoke :33 it, >w< it >_> is ^-^ twue, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD WEWIS. >_< keep ÚwÚ good quarter ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good :3 cawe to-nyight; 
uWu The day UwU shaww nyot be x3 up UwU so >w< soon >_< as UwU I 
;;w;; To >_> twy x3 the >w< faiw adventuwe of ÚwÚ to-mowwow. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 6. 

^-^ An open :33 pwace ^-^ weaw xDD Swinstead uWu Abbey 

Entew x3 the BASTARD ÚwÚ and OwO HUBEWT, uWu sevewawwy 

;;w;; HUBEWT. Who's OwO thewe? ÚwÚ Speak, ho! speak ^w^ quickwy, ow UwU I >_> shoot. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^-^ A :3 fwiend. >_> What awt thou? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Of x3 the ÚwÚ pawt of ^w^ Engwand. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. x3 Whithew dost xDD thou >w< go? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. x3 What's :3 that to thee? Why OwO may UwU I nyot ;;w;; demand 
Of ^.^ thinye affairs >_< as weww >_< as xDD thou of mine? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Hubewt, UwU I UwU think. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 a :3 pewfect thought. 
UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; upon aww ^w^ hazawds weww ^-^ bewieve 
^.^ Thou awt x3 my :33 fwiend :3 that ^w^ knyow'st x3 my >_> tongue UwU so well. 
Who awt thou? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Who xDD thou wilt. xDD And >_> if xDD thou please, 
^.^ Thou uWu mayst >_< befwiend ;;w;; me UwU so much >_< as to think 
UwU I come one uWu way of x3 the ;;w;; Pwantagenyets. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Unkind >_> wemembwance! xDD thou ÚwÚ and >_< eyewess >w< nyight 
:3 Have donye ;;w;; me ;;w;; shame. ^-^ Bwave sowdiew, UwU pawdon ;;w;; me 
:33 That xDD any xDD accent breaking from >w< thy >_> tongue 
Should ;;w;; scape x3 the true >_< acquaintance of >_< minye :3 eaw. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. ^.^ Come, >_< come; x3 sans uWu compwiment, >_> what nyews abroad? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Why, OwO hewe UwU wawk UwU I uWu in x3 the black ^w^ bwow of >w< nyight 
;;w;; To find xDD you OwO out. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Bwief, :33 then; ÚwÚ and UwU what's x3 the nyews? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. >_< O, x3 my x3 sweet ^w^ siw, nyews ;;w;; fitting to x3 the night, 
Black, x3 feawfuw, comfowtwess, ÚwÚ and howwibwe. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. uWu Show ;;w;; me x3 the xDD vewy ;;w;; wound of ÚwÚ this :33 iww nyews; 
UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^w^ woman, I'll nyot xDD swoon uWu at :3 it. 
;;w;; HUBEWT. uWu The OwO King, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, >_> is OwO poison'd ^.^ by :3 a ^-^ monk; 
UwU I left ^.^ him almost speechwess ÚwÚ and broke x3 out 
;;w;; To >w< acquaint xDD you with ÚwÚ this x3 eviw, :3 that xDD you ^w^ might 
uWu The xDD bettew awm xDD you to x3 the ^.^ sudden time 
Than >_> if xDD you xDD had uWu at leisure ÚwÚ knyown of UwU this. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. How uWu did ^.^ he OwO take uWu it; who uWu did >_> taste to him? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. ^-^ A ÚwÚ monk, UwU I tell uWu you; :3 a resolved villain, 
>_< Whose bowels ;;w;; suddenwy burst OwO out. uWu The ^w^ King 
ÚwÚ Yet speaks, ÚwÚ and pewadventuwe OwO may ^.^ wecuvw. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Who :33 didst xDD thou OwO weave to tend :33 his ÚwÚ Majesty? 
;;w;; HUBEWT. Why, ^.^ knyow xDD you ^w^ nyot? uWu The wowds OwO awe aww come back, 
xDD And ^.^ bwought Prince Henwy uWu in uWu theiw company; 
At x3 whose request x3 the ^w^ King hath ^.^ pawdon'd ÚwÚ them, 
xDD And ;;w;; they OwO awe aww about :33 his >_< Majesty. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Withhowd ^.^ thinye >_< indignyation, ^-^ mighty ^.^ heaven, 
xDD And tempt >_> us nyot to UwU beaw :33 abuv UwU ouw ^.^ powew! 
I'll tell ÚwÚ thee, Hubewt, half x3 my powew ÚwÚ this night, 
OwO Passing these flats, OwO awe :33 taken ^.^ by x3 the >_< tide- 
;;w;; These :33 Wincown uWu Washes uWu have ^w^ devouwed OwO them; 
Myself, well-mounted, hardly uWu have uWu escap'd. 
:33 Away, ;;w;; befowe! ÚwÚ conduct ;;w;; me to x3 the uWu King; 
UwU I doubt ^.^ he xDD wiww be >_< dead ow ere UwU I x3 come. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 7. 

uWu The orchard uWu at xDD Swinstead uWu Abbey 

Entew PWINCE >_> HENWY, >_< SAWISBUWY, ÚwÚ and OwO BIGOT 

PWINCE xDD HENWY. ^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too late; x3 the >w< wife of aww :33 his :3 bwood 
Is touch'd >w< cowwuptibwy, ÚwÚ and :33 his puwe :33 bwain. 
>_< Which x3 some ^.^ suppose x3 the x3 souw's frail uWu dwewwing-house, 
^-^ Doth ^.^ by x3 the idle >_> comments :3 that >w< it x3 makes 
Foretell x3 the >w< ending of >_< mowtawity. 

Entew :33 PEMBWOKE 

PEMBROKE. ÚwÚ His >_> Highnyess yet xDD doth :3 speak, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ howds bewief 
^.^ That, ^.^ being ^.^ bwought x3 into x3 the open air, 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd allay x3 the ^.^ buwnying ;;w;; quawity 
Of :3 that UwU feww x3 poison which >_> assaiweth ^.^ him. 
PWINCE xDD HENWY. Let ^.^ him be ^.^ bwought x3 into x3 the orchard hewe. 
^-^ Doth ^.^ he still rage? uWu Exit OwO BIGOT 
PEMBROKE. >w< He >_> is ^.^ mowe patient 
Than when xDD you left him; even nyow ^.^ he uWu sung. 
PWINCE xDD HENWY. x3 O vanyity of sickness! Fiewce extwemes 
^w^ In uWu theiw ^.^ continyuance xDD wiww nyot x3 feew x3 themsewves. 
Death, xDD having ^-^ pwey'd ;;w;; upon x3 the :33 outwawd xDD pawts, 
:33 Weaves them >_> invisibwe, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ siege >_> is nyow 
^w^ Against x3 the UwU mind, x3 the which ^.^ he uWu pwicks ÚwÚ and wounds 
With UwU many legions of ;;w;; stwange UwU fantasies, 
>_< Which, uWu in uWu theiw :33 thwong ÚwÚ and x3 pwess to :3 that >w< wast OwO howd, 
Confound x3 themsewves. 'Tis ;;w;; stwange :3 that :33 death >_> shouwd ;;w;; sing. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the cygnet to ÚwÚ this pawe ÚwÚ faint swan 
Who chants :3 a dowefuw >_> hymn to :33 his UwU own UwU death, 
xDD And from x3 the organ-pipe of frailty ^-^ sings 
ÚwÚ His :3 souw ÚwÚ and >w< body to uWu theiw :3 wasting rest. 
SAWISBUWY. ^w^ Be of ÚwÚ good comfort, >_< Pwince; fow xDD you OwO awe bown 
;;w;; To uWu set :3 a >_< fowm ;;w;; upon :3 that indigest 
>_< Which ^.^ he hath left UwU so shapeless ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU wude. 

^.^ We-entew OwO BIGOT ÚwÚ and uWu attendants, who ;;w;; bwing uWu in 
;;w;; KING >_< JOHN uWu in :3 a >w< chaiw 

;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Ay, marry, nyow x3 my :3 souw hath ^.^ ewbow-woom; 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd nyot x3 out uWu at ^w^ windows nor uWu at x3 doows. 
>_> Thewe >_> is UwU so :3 hot :3 a ^-^ summew uWu in x3 my ^w^ bosom 
:33 That aww x3 my bowels :33 cwumbwe x3 up to dust. 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a UwU scwibbwed >_< fowm drawn with :3 a OwO pen 
>_> Upon :3 a pawchment, ÚwÚ and OwO against ÚwÚ this fire 
Do UwU I >w< shwink :33 up. 
PWINCE xDD HENWY. How fawes x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty? 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. Poison'd-iww-fawe! ^.^ Dead, >_< fowsook, ;;w;; cast :33 off; 
xDD And >_< nyonye of xDD you xDD wiww bid x3 the winter come 
;;w;; To thwust :33 his >_< icy x3 fingews uWu in x3 my xDD maw, 
x3 Nyow wet x3 my kingdom's rivers OwO take uWu theiw course 
^.^ Thwough x3 my burn'd x3 bosom, nor entweat x3 the ^.^ nyowth 
;;w;; To >_< make :33 his bleak >_< winds :3 kiss x3 my pawched lips 
xDD And uWu comfowt ;;w;; me with cowd. UwU I UwU do nyot ^w^ ask xDD you >_> much; 
UwU I ÚwÚ beg UwU cowd uWu comfowt; ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe UwU so stwait 
xDD And UwU so UwU ingwatefuw xDD you UwU deny ;;w;; me x3 that. 
PWINCE xDD HENWY. x3 O :3 that there :3 wewe x3 some viwtue uWu in x3 my ^-^ teaws, 
:33 That ^w^ might xDD wewieve you! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. uWu The ^-^ sawt uWu in them >_> is xDD hot. 
OwO Within ;;w;; me >_> is :3 a heww; ÚwÚ and there x3 the x3 poison 
Is >_< as :3 a >_< fiend >_< confin'd to tywannyize 
On UwU unwepwievabwe condemnyed blood. 

Entew x3 the BASTARD 

ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am x3 scawded with x3 my :3 viowent >_> motion 
xDD And UwU spween of ^w^ speed to >_> see x3 youw Majesty! 
;;w;; KING OwO JOHN. x3 O OwO cousin, xDD thou awt come to uWu set >_< minye OwO eye! 
uWu The x3 tackwe of x3 my >_< heawt >_> is >_< cwack'd ÚwÚ and buwnt, 
xDD And aww x3 the shwouds xDD whewewith x3 my >w< wife >_> shouwd saiw 
^w^ Awe turned to one ^w^ thwead, one xDD wittwe ^-^ haiw; 
OwO My >_< heawt hath one poor stwing to xDD stay >w< it UwU by, 
>_< Which ÚwÚ howds >_> but >w< tiww >w< thy nyews be :3 uttewed; 
xDD And xDD then aww ÚwÚ this xDD thou seest >_> is >_> but :3 a >w< cwod 
xDD And moduwe of confounded x3 woyawty. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. uWu The uWu Dauphin >_> is preparing hitherward, 
Whewe ^w^ God >w< He xDD knyows >w< how ^.^ we UwU shaww answew him; 
For uWu in :3 a >w< nyight x3 the best ÚwÚ pawt of x3 my pow'r, 
;;w;; As UwU I ;;w;; upon ^w^ advantage uWu did ÚwÚ wemuv, 
^.^ Wewe uWu in x3 the uWu Washes aww unwawiwy 
UwU Devouwed ^.^ by x3 the unexpected :33 fwood. ;;w;; [The ;;w;; KING uWu dies] 
SAWISBUWY. >_> You ;;w;; bweathe these >_< dead nyews uWu in >_< as >_< dead >w< an :3 eaw. 
OwO My wiege! x3 my ^.^ wowd! OwO But nyow :3 a :3 king-nyow OwO thus. 
PWINCE xDD HENWY. Even UwU so ^w^ must UwU I >w< wun ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and even UwU so ^-^ stop. 
>_> What surety of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, >_> what hope, >_> what ;;w;; stay, 
x3 When ÚwÚ this UwU was nyow :3 a OwO king, ÚwÚ and nyow >_> is clay? 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Awt xDD thou >_> gonye so? UwU I UwU do >_> but xDD stay x3 behind 
;;w;; To UwU do x3 the ^.^ office fow uWu thee of UwU wevenge, 
xDD And xDD then x3 my :3 souw UwU shaww wait on uWu thee to ^.^ heaven, 
;;w;; As >w< it on ^.^ eawth hath :33 been >w< thy xDD sewvant xDD stiww. 
>_> Nyow, now, xDD you stars :3 that move uWu in x3 youw >w< wight sphewes, 
Whewe be x3 youw pow'ws? uWu Show nyow x3 youw mended UwU faiths, 
xDD And instantly ^-^ wetuwn with ;;w;; me again 
;;w;; To :3 push >w< destwuction ÚwÚ and pewpetuaw ^-^ shame 
UwU Out of x3 the xDD weak doow of UwU ouw xDD fainting xDD wand. 
UwU Stwaight wet >_> us seek, ow ^w^ stwaight ^.^ we UwU shaww be ÚwÚ sought; 
uWu The uWu Dauphin rages uWu at UwU ouw xDD vewy xDD heews. 
SAWISBUWY. ^.^ It ;;w;; seems xDD you ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, >w< then, UwU so much >_< as >_< we: 
uWu The Cardinal >w< Panduwph >_> is within uWu at ^-^ west, 
Who half >w< an >_> houw xDD since ^-^ came from x3 the ÚwÚ Dauphin, 
xDD And >_< bwings from ^.^ him xDD such x3 offews of UwU ouw uWu peace 
;;w;; As ^.^ we with honour ÚwÚ and wespect OwO may take, 
With OwO puwpose presently to OwO weave ÚwÚ this waw. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >w< He xDD wiww x3 the rather UwU do >w< it when ^.^ he sees 
Ourselves weww sinewed to UwU ouw OwO defence. 
SAWISBUWY. Nyay, UwU 'tis uWu in :3 a ^w^ mannyew donye already; 
For UwU many xDD cawwiages ^.^ he hath x3 dispatch'd 
;;w;; To x3 the ^w^ sea-side, ÚwÚ and put :33 his cause ÚwÚ and ^-^ quawwew 
;;w;; To x3 the OwO disposing of x3 the Cardinal; 
With ÚwÚ whom yourself, myself, ÚwÚ and othew wowds, 
;;w;; If xDD you think ^w^ meet, ÚwÚ this >_< aftewnyoon xDD wiww x3 post 
;;w;; To :33 consummate ÚwÚ this business >_< happiwy. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Let >w< it be :3 so. xDD And UwU you, x3 my x3 nyobwe >_< Pwince, 
With othew pwinces :3 that OwO may best be xDD spaw'd, 
Shall wait ;;w;; upon x3 youw father's ^-^ funyewaw. 
PWINCE xDD HENWY. At ÚwÚ Wowcestew ^w^ must :33 his >w< body be interr'd; 
For UwU so ^.^ he >_> wiww'd :3 it. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. Thither UwU shaww :33 it, :33 then; 
xDD And happily OwO may x3 youw x3 sweet self put on 
uWu The :3 winyeaw >w< state ÚwÚ and :3 gwowy of x3 the wand! 
;;w;; To :33 whom, with aww submission, on x3 my knyee 
UwU I UwU do ^-^ bequeath x3 my faithfuw >_< sewvices 
xDD And true ÚwÚ subjection :3 evewwastingwy. 
SAWISBUWY. xDD And x3 the ^.^ wike xDD tendew of UwU ouw wuv ^.^ we ;;w;; make, 
;;w;; To xDD west ^-^ without :3 a ^w^ spot fow >w< evewmowe. 
PWINCE xDD HENWY. UwU I uWu have :3 a uWu kind :3 souw :3 that ^.^ wouwd UwU give xDD you thanks, 
xDD And xDD knyows nyot >w< how to UwU do >w< it >_> but with >w< teaws. 
ÚwÚ BASTAWD. >_< O, wet >_> us x3 pay x3 the time >_> but needful woe, 
Since >w< it hath :33 been >_< befowehand with UwU ouw gwiefs. 
This England >_< nyevew ^-^ did, nor >_< nyevew UwU shaww, 
Lie uWu at x3 the OwO pwoud :33 foot of :3 a x3 conquewow, 
OwO But when >w< it xDD fiwst uWu did OwO hewp to ;;w;; wound itself. 
Now these her pwinces OwO awe come ^.^ home OwO again, 
:3 Come x3 the >w< thwee ^-^ cownyews of x3 the wowwd uWu in awms, 
xDD And ^.^ we UwU shaww x3 shock OwO them. x3 Nyought UwU shaww >_< make >_> us uWu wue, 
;;w;; If England to itsewf UwU do xDD west >_> but true. Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 






^-^ 1599 


^-^ THE uWu TWAGEDY ÚwÚ OF JUWIUS xDD CAESAW 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

JUWIUS ^.^ CAESAW, Roman uWu statesman ÚwÚ and general 
:3 OCTAVIUS, ^w^ Twiumviw ÚwÚ aftew Caesar's UwU death, UwU watew ^.^ Augustus ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
xDD fiwst empewow of ÚwÚ Wome 
MARK >_> ANTONY, general ÚwÚ and :33 fwiend of ÚwÚ Caesaw, :3 a ^w^ Twiumviw ÚwÚ aftew :33 his :33 death 
;;w;; WEPIDUS, thiwd member of x3 the UwU Twiumviwate 
>_> MAWCUS ;;w;; BWUTUS, weadew of x3 the conspiracy OwO against Caesaw 
CASSIUS, ^w^ instigatow of x3 the conspiracy 
OwO CASCA, conspirator OwO against Caesaw 
^.^ TWEBONyIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
>_> CAIUS LIGARIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
DECIUS ;;w;; BWUTUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
METEWWUS CIMBER, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
OwO CINNyA, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
:33 CAWPUWNyIA, >w< wife of Caesaw 
PORTIA, >w< wife of Brutus 
ÚwÚ CICEWO, senyatow 
POPILIUS, :33 " 
;;w;; POPIWIUS OwO WENyA, :33 " 
;;w;; FWAVIUS, twibunye 
xDD MAWUWWUS, twibunye 
;;w;; CATO, xDD suppowtow of Brutus 
x3 WUCIWIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
TITINIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
>_> MESSAWA, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
>w< VOWUMNyIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
ARTEMIDORUS, :3 a ÚwÚ teachew of >_> whetowic 
OwO CINNyA, :3 a ;;w;; poet 
uWu VAWWO, xDD sewvant to Brutus 
^w^ CWITUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
:33 CWAUDIO, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
STWATO, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
LUCIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
DAWDANyIUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
PINDAWUS, xDD sewvant to >w< Cassius 
uWu The >_< Ghost of Caesaw 
^-^ A :3 Soothsayew 
^-^ A :3 Poet 
>_< Senyatows, uWu Citizens, Soldiers, x3 Commonyews, Messengews, ÚwÚ and Servants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: ^w^ Wome, x3 the x3 conspiwatows' ÚwÚ camp nyeaw >w< Sawdis, ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU pwains of Phiwippi. 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A :33 stweet. 

Entew :33 Fwavius, xDD Mawuwwus, ÚwÚ and xDD cewtain Commoners. 

FWAVIUS. Hence, ^.^ home, xDD you idle :33 cweatuwes, get xDD you >_> home. 
Is ÚwÚ this :3 a howiday? What, ^.^ knyow xDD you >_> nyot, 
uWu Being :33 mechanyicaw, xDD you ought nyot UwU wawk 
>_> Upon :3 a ÚwÚ wabowing day ^-^ without x3 the xDD sign 
Of x3 youw UwU pwofession? ÚwÚ Speak, >_> what OwO twade awt thou? 
uWu FIWST OwO COMMONyEW. Why, ^w^ siw, :3 a carpenter. 
MARULLUS. Whewe >_> is >w< thy >_> weathew OwO apwon ÚwÚ and >w< thy rule? 
>_> What dost xDD thou with >w< thy best apparel ^-^ on? 
>_< You, ^w^ siw, >_> what OwO twade OwO awe you? 
^w^ SECOND OwO COMMONyEW. ^-^ Twuwy, ^w^ siw, uWu in wespect of :3 a OwO finye x3 wowkman, UwU I ^w^ am 
but, >_< as xDD you ^.^ wouwd say, :3 a cobbler. 
MARULLUS. OwO But >_> what OwO twade awt thou? Answer ;;w;; me directly. 
^w^ SECOND OwO COMMONyEW. ^-^ A twade, ^w^ siw, :3 that, UwU I hope, UwU I OwO may use with :3 a >_< safe 
OwO conscience, which >_> is :33 indeed, ^w^ siw, :3 a uWu mendew of :33 bad xDD sowes. 
MARULLUS. >_> What twade, xDD thou >_< knyave? ^.^ Thou naughty ^-^ knyave, >_> what trade? 
^w^ SECOND OwO COMMONyEW. Nyay, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, be nyot x3 out with OwO me; ^w^ yet, 
>_> if xDD you be ^.^ out, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ can mend OwO you. 
MARULLUS. >_> What x3 mean'st xDD thou ^.^ by ^-^ that? Mend uWu me, xDD thou ^w^ saucy xDD fewwow! 
^w^ SECOND OwO COMMONyEW. Why, ^w^ siw, xDD cobbwe OwO you. 
FWAVIUS. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a UwU cobbwew, awt thou? 
^w^ SECOND OwO COMMONyEW. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU Siw, aww :3 that UwU I ^w^ wive ^.^ by >_> is with x3 the aww; UwU I 
UwU meddwe with nyo twadesman's mattews, nor x3 women's mattews, >_> but with 
awl. UwU I ^w^ am :33 indeed, ^w^ siw, :3 a >_> suwgeon to ;;w;; owd >_> shoes; when ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu in 
great uWu dangew, UwU I OwO wecuvw OwO them. ;;w;; As OwO pwopew ;;w;; men >_< as OwO evew twod ;;w;; upon 
nyeat's >_> weathew uWu have >_> gonye ;;w;; upon x3 my >_< handiwowk. 
FWAVIUS. OwO But ^-^ whewefowe awt nyot uWu in >w< thy >_> shop today? 
Why dost xDD thou lead these ;;w;; men about x3 the ÚwÚ stweets? 
^w^ SECOND OwO COMMONyEW. ^-^ Twuwy, ^w^ siw, to ^-^ weaw x3 out uWu theiw xDD shoes to get mysewf 
x3 into ^.^ mowe >w< wowk. OwO But :33 indeed, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we >_< make x3 howiday to >_> see Caesaw 
ÚwÚ and to rejoice uWu in :33 his twiumph. 
MARULLUS. ÚwÚ Whewefowe >_> wejoice? >_> What conquest >_< bwings ^.^ he ^w^ home? 
>_> What :3 twibutawies ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him to ÚwÚ Wome 
;;w;; To xDD gwace uWu in >w< captive xDD bonds :33 his uWu chawiot wheews? 
>_> You ;;w;; bwocks, xDD you ^w^ stonyes, xDD you xDD wowse than senseless things! 
x3 O xDD you x3 hawd hearts, xDD you UwU cwuew ;;w;; men of ^w^ Wome, 
^-^ Knyew xDD you nyot :3 Pompey? xDD Many :3 a time ÚwÚ and ;;w;; oft 
:3 Have xDD you ^-^ cwimb'd x3 up to OwO wawws ÚwÚ and battwements, 
;;w;; To towews ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ windows, >w< yea, to x3 chimnyey :3 tops, 
uWu Youw UwU infants uWu in x3 youw awms, ÚwÚ and there uWu have sat 
uWu The :33 wivewong day with patient expectation 
;;w;; To >_> see great ÚwÚ Pompey pass x3 the ^w^ stweets of xDD Wome. 
xDD And when xDD you saw :33 his uWu chawiot >_> but ^.^ appeaw, 
:3 Have xDD you nyot UwU made >w< an ^-^ unyivewsaw >_> shout 
:33 That >_< Tibew x3 twembwed undewnyeath her uWu banks 
;;w;; To hear x3 the replication of x3 youw sounds 
Made uWu in her ;;w;; concave ^w^ showes? 
xDD And UwU do xDD you nyow put on x3 youw best >w< attiwe? 
xDD And UwU do xDD you nyow ÚwÚ cuww x3 out :3 a howiday? 
xDD And UwU do xDD you nyow strew fwowews uWu in :33 his uWu way 
:33 That x3 comes uWu in twiumph uvw >_> Pompey's >_< bwood? 
^w^ Be ÚwÚ gonye! 
OwO Wun to x3 youw ^-^ houses, faww ;;w;; upon x3 youw uWu knyees, 
>_> Pway to x3 the gods to intermit x3 the pwague 
:33 That >_< nyeeds ^w^ must >w< wight on ÚwÚ this ingratitude. 
FWAVIUS. ^w^ Go, x3 go, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ countwymen, x3 and, fow ÚwÚ this ^w^ fauwt, 
>_< Assembwe aww x3 the poor ;;w;; men of x3 youw sort, 
Draw them to >_< Tibew ^w^ banks, ÚwÚ and xDD weep x3 youw tears 
^.^ Into x3 the channyew, >w< tiww x3 the ;;w;; wowest stweam 
Do :3 kiss x3 the UwU most >_< exawted uWu showes of all. 
Exeunt aww Commoners. 
xDD See >w< whethew uWu theiw ^w^ basest >_< metaw be nyot OwO muvd; 
^-^ They :3 vanyish tongue-tied uWu in uWu theiw :3 guiwtinyess. 
Go xDD you down :3 that uWu way uWu towawds x3 the Capitow; 
This uWu way xDD wiww ^.^ I. Diswobe x3 the UwU images 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do find them deck'd with ^-^ cewemonyies. 
MARULLUS. ^-^ May ^.^ we UwU do so? 
>_> You ^.^ knyow >w< it >_> is x3 the >_> feast of ^w^ Wupewcaw. 
FWAVIUS. ^.^ It >_> is nyo mattew; wet nyo UwU images 
^w^ Be UwU hung with Caesar's twophies. I'll about 
xDD And UwU dwive OwO away x3 the uWu vuwgaw from x3 the streets; 
^w^ So UwU do xDD you :3 too, :3 whewe xDD you >_> pewceive them :3 thick. 
;;w;; These >_< gwowing feathers ^w^ pwuck'd from Caesar's OwO wing 
Will >_< make ^.^ him fwy >w< an ordinary uWu pitch, 
Who >_> ewse ^.^ wouwd UwU soaw :33 abuv x3 the x3 view of ;;w;; men 
xDD And >_< keep >_> us aww uWu in ;;w;; sewviwe fearfulness. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A public ;;w;; pwace. 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew OwO Caesaw; ;;w;; Antony, fow x3 the UwU couwse; Cawpuwnyia, :33 Powtia, 
^-^ Decius, ^.^ Cicewo, >_> Bwutus, OwO Cassius, ÚwÚ and uWu Casca; :3 a great ^-^ cwowd fowwows, 
^-^ among them :3 a Soothsayer. 

:3 CAESAW. Calpurnia! 
CASCA. uWu Peace, ho! Caesaw speaks. 
Music ^w^ ceases. 
:3 CAESAW. Calpurnia! 
CALPURNIA. Here, x3 my OwO wowd. 
:3 CAESAW. ;;w;; Stand xDD you xDD diwectwy uWu in ÚwÚ Antonyio's :3 way, 
x3 When ^.^ he xDD doth >w< wun :33 his course. Antonio! 
xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Caesaw, x3 my xDD wowd? 
:3 CAESAW. :3 Fowget nyot uWu in x3 youw speed, Antonio, 
;;w;; To :33 touch Cawpuwnyia, fow UwU ouw ÚwÚ ewdews >_> say 
uWu The ^.^ bawwen, >_> touched uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< howy uWu chase, 
:33 Shake x3 off uWu theiw sterile cuwse. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ wemembew. 
x3 When Caesaw ;;w;; says >w< "Do uWu this," >w< it >_> is perform'd. 
:3 CAESAW. Set ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and OwO weave nyo ceremony OwO out. >w< Fwouwish. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. :3 Caesaw! 
:3 CAESAW. uWu Ha! Who cawws? 
CASCA. x3 Bid every noise be xDD stiww. :3 Peace yet x3 again! 
:3 CAESAW. Who >_> is >w< it uWu in x3 the x3 pwess :3 that ;;w;; cawws on me? 
UwU I hear :3 a ;;w;; tongue, shwiwwew than aww x3 the ^.^ music, 
Cwy ÚwÚ "Caesaw." ÚwÚ Speak, Caesaw >_> is >_> tuwn'd to heaw. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. ;;w;; Bewawe x3 the ides of ^-^ Mawch. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> What x3 man >_> is ^-^ that? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ A xDD soothsayew xDD you UwU bewawe x3 the ides of ^-^ Mawch. 
:3 CAESAW. Set ^.^ him >w< befowe ;;w;; me wet ;;w;; me >_> see :33 his ;;w;; face. 
CASSIUS. ÚwÚ Fewwow, come from x3 the ÚwÚ thwong; wook ;;w;; upon Caesaw. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> What say'st xDD thou to ;;w;; me ^.^ nyow? ^w^ Speak >_> once ;;w;; again. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. ;;w;; Bewawe x3 the ides of ^-^ Mawch. 
:3 CAESAW. >w< He >_> is :3 a >_< dweamew; wet >_> us OwO weave ^.^ him. Pass. 
Sennet. Exeunt aww >_> but Brutus ÚwÚ and UwU Cassius. 
CASSIUS. Will xDD you OwO go >_> see x3 the order of x3 the uWu couwse? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ I. 
CASSIUS. UwU I pray UwU you, xDD do. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I ^w^ am nyot ^.^ gamesome; UwU I UwU do ^.^ wack x3 some ÚwÚ pawt 
Of :3 that ^w^ quick ^w^ spiwit :3 that >_> is uWu in Antony. 
Let ;;w;; me nyot hinder, OwO Cassius, x3 youw desires; 
I'll OwO weave OwO you. 
CASSIUS. >_> Bwutus, UwU I UwU do uWu obsewve xDD you nyow of late; 
UwU I uWu have nyot from x3 youw eyes :3 that ^-^ gentwenyess 
xDD And x3 show of wuv >_< as UwU I UwU was UwU wont to uWu have; 
>_> You UwU beaw ^w^ too ^-^ stubbown ÚwÚ and ^w^ too ;;w;; stwange :3 a uWu hand 
Over x3 youw :33 fwiend :3 that loves OwO you. 
^w^ BWUTUS. OwO Cassius, 
^w^ Be nyot UwU deceived; >_> if UwU I uWu have veil'd x3 my look, 
UwU I turn x3 the >_> twoubwe of x3 my >_< countenyance 
x3 Mewewy ;;w;; upon :3 mysewf. ÚwÚ Vexed UwU I ^w^ am 
Of wate with passions of x3 some ÚwÚ diffewence, 
x3 Conceptions >w< onwy OwO pwopew to myself, 
>_< Which UwU give x3 some UwU soiw ^-^ pewhaps to x3 my behaviors; 
OwO But wet nyot >_< thewefowe x3 my ÚwÚ good ^w^ fwiends be grieved- 
>_> Among which number, OwO Cassius, be xDD you UwU onye- 
x3 Nyow construe xDD any further x3 my >_> nyegwect 
Than :3 that poor Brutus with >_< himsewf uWu at >w< waw 
Forgets x3 the >_< shows of wuv to othew ^.^ men. 
CASSIUS. Then, >_> Bwutus, UwU I uWu have much >_> mistook x3 youw ^-^ passion, 
^-^ By means xDD wheweof ÚwÚ this breast of >_< minye hath buried 
Thoughts of great >w< vawue, ÚwÚ wowthy cogitations. 
Teww uWu me, ÚwÚ good >_> Bwutus, ^.^ can xDD you >_> see x3 youw ^.^ face? 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Nyo, OwO Cassius, fow x3 the ^w^ eye sees nyot itsewf 
OwO But ^.^ by ^-^ wefwection, ^.^ by x3 some othew xDD things. 
CASSIUS. 'Tis >_< just, 
xDD And >w< it >_> is xDD vewy much ÚwÚ wamented, >_> Bwutus, 
:33 That xDD you uWu have nyo xDD such :3 miwwows >_< as xDD wiww turn 
uWu Youw ^-^ hidden wowthinyess x3 into x3 youw ^w^ eye 
:33 That xDD you ^w^ might >_> see x3 youw ^.^ shadow. UwU I uWu have heard 
Whewe UwU many of x3 the best wespect uWu in ^w^ Wome, 
UwU Except :3 immowtaw ÚwÚ Caesaw, speaking of Brutus 
xDD And ;;w;; gwoanying undewnyeath ÚwÚ this age's uWu yoke, 
:3 Have >w< wish'd :3 that x3 nyobwe Brutus xDD had :33 his :3 eyes. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ Into >_> what >_> dangews ^.^ wouwd xDD you lead uWu me, OwO Cassius, 
:33 That xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; me >_> seek x3 into mysewf 
For :3 that which >_> is nyot uWu in me? 
CASSIUS. >_< Thewefowe, ÚwÚ good >_> Bwutus, be ^w^ pwepawed to heaw, 
xDD And xDD since xDD you ^.^ knyow xDD you ;;w;; cannyot >_> see >_> youwsewf 
^w^ So weww >_< as ^.^ by ^-^ wefwection, UwU I x3 youw gwass 
Will modestwy OwO discuvw to >_> youwsewf 
:33 That of >_> youwsewf which xDD you yet ^.^ knyow nyot uWu of. 
xDD And be nyot jealous on uWu me, ^-^ gentwe Brutus; 
^.^ Wewe UwU I :3 a ^w^ common laugher, ow uWu did use 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stawe with ordinary >w< oaths x3 my wuv 
;;w;; To every x3 nyew OwO pwotestew, >_> if xDD you ^.^ knyow 
:33 That UwU I UwU do ^-^ fawn on ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and hug them x3 hawd 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew OwO scandaw ÚwÚ them, ow >_> if xDD you ^.^ knyow 
:33 That UwU I pwofess mysewf uWu in ÚwÚ banqueting 
;;w;; To aww x3 the >_> wout, xDD then howd ;;w;; me :33 dangewous. 
Flourish ÚwÚ and ^-^ shout. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> What means ÚwÚ this UwU shouting? UwU I UwU do feaw x3 the OwO peopwe 
Choose Caesaw fow uWu theiw king. 
CASSIUS. Ay, UwU do xDD you feaw :33 it? 
UwU Then ^w^ must UwU I think xDD you ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have >w< it :3 so. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, OwO Cassius, yet UwU I wuv ^.^ him well. 
OwO But ^-^ whewefowe UwU do xDD you howd ;;w;; me OwO hewe UwU so long? 
>_> What >_> is >w< it :3 that xDD you ^.^ wouwd OwO impawt to me? 
;;w;; If >w< it be ^.^ aught toward x3 the general UwU good, 
Set honyow uWu in one ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and :33 death :33 i' x3 the othew 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww wook on both uWu indiffewentwy. 
For wet x3 the gods UwU so ^w^ speed ;;w;; me >_< as UwU I wuv 
uWu The xDD nyame of honyow ^.^ mowe than UwU I feaw death. 
CASSIUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 that viwtue to be uWu in UwU you, >_> Bwutus, 
;;w;; As weww >_< as UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow x3 youw :33 outwawd favow. 
xDD Weww, honyow >_> is x3 the x3 subject of x3 my ;;w;; stowy. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell >_> what xDD you ÚwÚ and othew ;;w;; men 
^w^ Think of ÚwÚ this :3 wife, but, fow x3 my :3 singwe ;;w;; sewf, 
UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief nyot be >_< as ^w^ wive to be 
^w^ In OwO awe of xDD such :3 a ^.^ thing >_< as UwU I :3 mysewf. 
UwU I UwU was bown fwee >_< as ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU so :3 wewe uWu you; 
We both uWu have ÚwÚ fed >_< as weww, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we ^.^ can both 
Endure x3 the winter's UwU cowd >_< as weww >_< as he. 
For ^w^ once, ;;w;; upon :3 a >w< waw ÚwÚ and xDD gusty ^-^ day, 
uWu The troubled >_< Tibew chafing with her ^-^ showes, 
Caesaw uWu said to uWu me, "Darest UwU thou, OwO Cassius, nyow 
UwU Weap uWu in with ;;w;; me x3 into ÚwÚ this angry flood 
xDD And x3 swim to yonder >_< point?" >_> Upon x3 the word, 
Accoutred >_< as UwU I UwU was, UwU I :33 pwunged uWu in 
xDD And ;;w;; bade ^.^ him x3 fowwow. ^w^ So ÚwÚ indeed ^.^ he ^.^ did. 
uWu The torrent roar'd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we uWu did buffet >w< it 
With ÚwÚ wusty ÚwÚ sinyews, thwowing >w< it :3 aside 
xDD And >w< stemming >w< it with heawts of controversy. 
OwO But ere ^.^ we couwd UwU awwive x3 the :33 point pwoposed, 
Caesaw cwied, UwU "Hewp uWu me, OwO Cassius, ow UwU I ^.^ sink! 
I, >_< as ÚwÚ Aenyeas UwU ouw great x3 ancestow 
Did from x3 the flames of Twoy ;;w;; upon :33 his shoulder 
uWu The ;;w;; owd Anchises >_> beaw, UwU so from x3 the ;;w;; waves of >_< Tibew 
Did UwU I x3 the ^w^ tiwed Caesaw. xDD And ÚwÚ this x3 man 
Is nyow :33 become :3 a ^.^ god, ÚwÚ and >w< Cassius >_> is 
^-^ A wwetched creature ÚwÚ and ^w^ must >w< bend :33 his >w< body 
;;w;; If Caesaw cawewesswy >_> but nod on ^.^ him. 
>w< He xDD had :3 a x3 fevew when ^.^ he UwU was uWu in UwU Spain, 
xDD And when x3 the ;;w;; fit UwU was on ^.^ him UwU I uWu did mark 
How ^.^ he uWu did ^w^ shake. 'Tis ^-^ twue, ÚwÚ this god uWu did xDD shake; 
ÚwÚ His x3 cowawd lips uWu did from uWu theiw color fly, 
xDD And :3 that same ^w^ eye x3 whose >w< bend xDD doth OwO awe x3 the wowwd 
Did wose :33 his luster. UwU I uWu did hear ^.^ him gwoan. 
Ay, ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> tongue of :33 his :3 that ;;w;; bade x3 the Romans 
>_> Mawk ^.^ him ÚwÚ and >w< wwite :33 his uWu speeches uWu in uWu theiw books, 
ÚwÚ Awas, >w< it cwied, "Give ;;w;; me x3 some dwink, Titinyius," 
;;w;; As :3 a >w< sick ^w^ giww. ^-^ Ye ^-^ gods! ^.^ It xDD doth amaze ;;w;; me 
^-^ A x3 man of xDD such :3 a feebwe xDD tempew >_> shouwd 
^w^ So get x3 the start of x3 the :3 majestic wowwd 
xDD And UwU beaw x3 the ^.^ pawm >_< awonye. Shout. >w< Fwouwish. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Anyothew general shout! 
UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve :3 that these x3 appwauses OwO awe 
For x3 some x3 nyew honyows :3 that OwO awe ^w^ heap'd on Caesaw. 
CASSIUS. Why, ^w^ man, ^.^ he xDD doth :3 bestwide x3 the nyawwow wowwd 
Wike :3 a Colossus, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we petty ;;w;; men 
>_< Wawk :33 undew :33 his >_> huge UwU wegs ÚwÚ and xDD peep about 
;;w;; To find ouwsewves >w< dishonyowabwe UwU gwaves. 
OwO Men uWu at x3 some time OwO awe >w< mastews of uWu theiw ^-^ fates: 
uWu The ^w^ fauwt, uWu deaw >_> Bwutus, >_> is nyot uWu in UwU ouw ÚwÚ staws, 
OwO But uWu in ouwsewves :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe :33 undewwings. 
Brutus ÚwÚ and Caesar: >_> what >_> shouwd be uWu in :3 that "Caesar"? 
Why >_> shouwd :3 that xDD nyame be ÚwÚ sounded ^.^ mowe than x3 youws? 
:3 Wwite them together, >_> youws >_> is >_< as >w< faiw :3 a UwU nyame; 
Sound ÚwÚ them, >w< it xDD doth :33 become x3 the xDD mouth >_< as well; 
OwO Weigh ÚwÚ them, >w< it >_> is >_< as ;;w;; heavy; x3 conjuwe with 'em, 
"Brutus" xDD wiww start :3 a ^w^ spiwit >_< as >w< soon >_< as ÚwÚ "Caesaw." 
>_> Nyow, uWu in x3 the nyames of aww x3 the gods uWu at ^w^ once, 
>_> Upon >_> what :3 meat xDD doth ÚwÚ this UwU ouw Caesaw >w< feed 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is grown UwU so gweat? xDD Age, xDD thou awt uWu shamed! 
^w^ Wome, xDD thou x3 hast wost x3 the breed of x3 nyobwe xDD bwoods! 
x3 When OwO went there ^.^ by >w< an age xDD since x3 the great flood 
OwO But >w< it UwU was >_< famed with ^.^ mowe than with one man? 
x3 When couwd ;;w;; they >_> say >w< tiww nyow :3 that ^w^ tawk'd of ÚwÚ Wome 
:33 That her uWu wide OwO wawws ^w^ encompass'd >_> but one man? 
Now >_> is >w< it ÚwÚ Wome :33 indeed, ÚwÚ and >_> woom UwU enyough, 
x3 When there >_> is uWu in >w< it >_> but one >w< onwy man. 
>_< O, xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have heard UwU ouw uWu fathews >_> say 
>_> Thewe UwU was :3 a Brutus >_> once :3 that ^.^ wouwd uWu have brook'd 
uWu The xDD etewnyaw ^.^ deviw to >_< keep :33 his >w< state uWu in ÚwÚ Wome 
;;w;; As easily >_< as :3 a king. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :33 That xDD you UwU do wuv uWu me, UwU I ^w^ am >_< nyothing jeawous; 
>_> What xDD you ^.^ wouwd ^.^ wowk ;;w;; me ^.^ to, UwU I uWu have x3 some ÚwÚ aim. 
How UwU I uWu have xDD thought of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and of these xDD times, 
UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ wecount ^w^ heweaftew; fow ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ pwesent, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, UwU so with wuv UwU I ^w^ might entweat UwU you, 
^w^ Be xDD any further :33 muvd. >_> What xDD you uWu have uWu said 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> considew; >_> what xDD you uWu have to >_> say 
UwU I xDD wiww with uWu patience heaw, ÚwÚ and find :3 a time 
UwU Both :3 meet to hear ÚwÚ and answew xDD such xDD high xDD things. 
Tiww >w< then, x3 my x3 nyobwe fwiend, chew ;;w;; upon :33 this: 
Brutus xDD had rather be :3 a viwwagew 
Than to ^-^ wepute >_< himsewf :3 a >_< son of ÚwÚ Wome 
;;w;; Undew these x3 hawd :33 conditions >_< as ÚwÚ this time 
Is ^.^ wike to uWu way ;;w;; upon >_> us. 
CASSIUS. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad :3 that x3 my xDD weak wowds 
:3 Have >w< stwuck >_> but OwO thus much x3 show of fire from Brutus. 

^.^ We-entew Caesaw ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 Twain. 

^w^ BWUTUS. uWu The ^-^ games OwO awe :33 donye, ÚwÚ and Caesaw >_> is ^w^ wetuwnying. 
CASSIUS. ;;w;; As ;;w;; they pass UwU by, pluck >_< Casca ^.^ by x3 the :33 sweeve, 
xDD And ^.^ he :33 wiww, ÚwÚ aftew :33 his :3 souw fashion, tell xDD you 
>_> What hath >_< pwoceeded ÚwÚ wowthy ^-^ nyote >w< today. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :3 so. But, wook UwU you, OwO Cassius, 
uWu The angry ^w^ spot xDD doth glow on Caesar's >_> bwow, 
xDD And aww x3 the xDD west wook ^.^ wike :3 a :33 chidden UwU twain: 
Calpurnia's >_< cheek >_> is pawe, ÚwÚ and Cicero 
Looks with xDD such fewwet ÚwÚ and xDD such fiery eyes 
;;w;; As ^.^ we uWu have :3 seen ^.^ him uWu in x3 the Capitol, 
uWu Being cwoss'd uWu in conference ^.^ by x3 some ;;w;; senyatows. 
CASSIUS. >_< Casca xDD wiww tell >_> us >_> what x3 the ;;w;; mattew >w< is. 
:3 CAESAW. Antonio! 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ Caesaw? 
:3 CAESAW. Let ;;w;; me uWu have ;;w;; men about ;;w;; me :3 that OwO awe ÚwÚ fat, 
UwU Sweek-headed men, ÚwÚ and xDD such >_< as :33 sweep ^.^ o' uWu nyights: 
uWu Yond >w< Cassius >_> has :3 a lean ÚwÚ and hungwy wook; 
>w< He ^w^ thinks ^w^ too >_> much; xDD such ;;w;; men OwO awe :33 dangewous. 
xDD ANTONY. Fear ^.^ him >_> nyot, OwO Caesaw; uWu he's nyot dangerous; 
>w< He >_> is :3 a x3 nyobwe Roman ÚwÚ and weww ;;w;; given. 
:3 CAESAW. Wouwd ^.^ he :3 wewe fattew! OwO But UwU I feaw ^.^ him >_> nyot, 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> if x3 my xDD nyame :3 wewe UwU wiabwe to ;;w;; feaw, 
UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow x3 the x3 man UwU I >_> shouwd avoid 
^w^ So >w< soon >_< as :3 that ^-^ spawe UwU Cassius. >w< He weads ÚwÚ much, 
>w< He >_> is :3 a great :3 obsewvew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :33 wooks 
>_< Quite ^w^ thwough x3 the >_< deeds of ^.^ men. >w< He loves nyo pways, 
;;w;; As xDD thou ÚwÚ dost, uWu Antony; ^.^ he x3 heaws nyo >_> music; 
Sewdom ^.^ he >_> smiwes, ÚwÚ and ^-^ smiwes uWu in xDD such :3 a ;;w;; sowt 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ he mock'd >_< himsewf ÚwÚ and >_< scown'd :33 his ^w^ spiwit 
:33 That couwd be ^-^ muvd to ;;w;; smiwe uWu at x3 anything. 
>w< Such ;;w;; men >_< as ^.^ he be >_< nyevew uWu at heart's ^w^ ease 
Whiwes ;;w;; they behowd :3 a :33 gweatew than ^.^ themsewves, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe OwO awe ;;w;; they xDD vewy :33 dangewous. 
UwU I rather tell uWu thee >_> what >_> is to be feaw'd 
Than >_> what UwU I ;;w;; feaw, fow awways UwU I ^w^ am Caesaw. 
:3 Come on x3 my >w< wight uWu hand, fow ÚwÚ this ear >_> is deaf, 
xDD And tell ;;w;; me :33 twuwy >_> what xDD thou think'st of ^.^ him. 
Sennet. Exeunt Caesaw ÚwÚ and aww :33 his Twain >_> but Casca. 
CASCA. >_> You pull'd ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; cwoak; ^.^ wouwd xDD you speak with me? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Ay, >w< Casca, tell >_> us >_> what hath >w< chanced today 
:33 That Caesaw :33 wooks UwU so OwO sad. 
CASCA. Why, xDD you :3 wewe with :3 him, :3 wewe xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I >_> shouwd nyot xDD then ^w^ ask >_< Casca >_> what xDD had chanced. 
CASCA. Why, there UwU was :3 a >_< cwown :33 offewed :3 him, ÚwÚ and ^.^ being :33 offewed :3 him, 
^.^ he put >w< it ^.^ by with x3 the back of :33 his uWu hand, thus, ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 the 
OwO peopwe UwU feww :3 ashouting. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> What UwU was x3 the second noise for? 
CASCA. Why, fow :3 that UwU too. 
CASSIUS. ^-^ They ÚwÚ shouted x3 thwice. >_> What UwU was x3 the >w< wast cwy for? 
CASCA. Why, fow :3 that UwU too. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Was x3 the >_< cwown :33 offewed ^.^ him thrice? 
CASCA. Ay, marry, OwO wast, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he put >w< it ^.^ by ÚwÚ thwice, every time gentler 
than ÚwÚ othew, ÚwÚ and uWu at every ^.^ putting ^.^ by >_< minye xDD honyest neighbors 
shouted. 
CASSIUS. Who :33 offewed ^.^ him x3 the crown? 
CASCA. Why, Antony. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Teww >_> us x3 the ^w^ mannyew of :33 it, ^-^ gentwe Casca. 
CASCA. UwU I ^.^ can >_< as weww be :33 hang'd >_< as tell x3 the ^w^ mannyew of :3 it. ^.^ It UwU was 
mere >_> foowewy; UwU I uWu did nyot mark :3 it. UwU I saw >_> Mawk OwO Antony offer ^.^ him :3 a 
>_< cwown (yet uWu 'twas nyot :3 a >_< cwown nyeithew, uWu 'twas one of these 
cowonyets) x3 and, >_< as UwU I told UwU you, ^.^ he put >w< it ^.^ by OwO once. OwO But fow aww 
:3 that, to x3 my uWu thinking, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu have xDD had :3 it. UwU Then ^.^ he :33 offewed 
>w< it to ^.^ him again; xDD then ^.^ he put >w< it ^.^ by ;;w;; again. But, to x3 my uWu thinking, ^.^ he 
UwU was xDD vewy loath to uWu way :33 his x3 fingews x3 off :3 it. xDD And xDD then ^.^ he :33 offewed >w< it 
x3 the thiwd time; ^.^ he put >w< it x3 the thiwd time ;;w;; by; ÚwÚ and still >_< as ^.^ he 
>w< wefused :33 it, x3 the >_< wabbwement hooted ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwapped uWu theiw ^w^ chopped ^.^ hands 
ÚwÚ and OwO thwew x3 up uWu theiw x3 sweaty >w< nyightcaps ÚwÚ and uttered xDD such :3 a deal of 
>w< stinking UwU bweath uWu because Caesaw >w< wefused x3 the >_< cwown :3 that >w< it xDD had 
almost ^.^ choked ÚwÚ Caesaw, fow ^.^ he swounded ÚwÚ and UwU feww down uWu at :3 it. xDD And 
fow >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, UwU I x3 duwst nyot laugh fow feaw of >w< openying x3 my lips 
ÚwÚ and ^w^ weceiving x3 the :33 bad air. 
CASSIUS. But, OwO soft, UwU I pray UwU you, x3 what, uWu did :33 Caesaws wound? 
CASCA. >w< He UwU feww down uWu in x3 the marketplace ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ foamed uWu at xDD mouth ÚwÚ and UwU was 
speechwess. 
^w^ BWUTUS. 'Tis xDD vewy >_> wike. >w< He hath x3 the falling sicknyess. 
CASSIUS. :3 Nyo, Caesaw hath >w< it >_> nyot, >_> but UwU you, ÚwÚ and I, 
xDD And xDD honyest >w< Casca, ^.^ we uWu have x3 the falling sicknyess. 
CASCA. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what xDD you >_> mean ^.^ by :3 that, >_> but UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe Caesaw UwU feww 
down. ;;w;; If x3 the tagrag OwO peopwe uWu did nyot >_< cwap ^.^ him ÚwÚ and xDD hiss ^.^ him 
accowding >_< as ^.^ he ^w^ pweased ÚwÚ and ^w^ dispweased ÚwÚ them, >_< as ;;w;; they use to UwU do 
x3 the >_< pwayews uWu in x3 the >_> theatwe, UwU I ^w^ am nyo true man. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> What uWu said ^.^ he when ^.^ he ^-^ came >w< unto :33 himsewf? 
CASCA. OwO Mawwy, >w< befowe ^.^ he UwU feww ;;w;; down, when ^.^ he OwO pewceived x3 the ^w^ common 
hewd UwU was uWu gwad ^.^ he >w< wefused x3 the :3 cwown, ^.^ he ^w^ pwucked ;;w;; me ^w^ ope :33 his ^w^ doubwet 
ÚwÚ and :33 offewed them :33 his ^w^ thwoat to cut. ^-^ An xDD had :33 been :3 a x3 man of xDD any 
occupation, >_> if UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have :33 taken ^.^ him uWu at :3 a word, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I 
^w^ might OwO go to heww ^-^ among x3 the >_< wogues. xDD And UwU so ^.^ he x3 feww. x3 When ^.^ he ^-^ came 
to >_< himsewf OwO again, ^.^ he said, >_> if ^.^ he xDD had donye ow uWu said ;;w;; anything xDD amiss, 
^.^ he ÚwÚ desiwed uWu theiw worships to think >w< it UwU was :33 his infiwmity. Thwee ow 
fouw UwU wenches :3 whewe UwU I :33 stood cwied, "Alas, ÚwÚ good soul!" ÚwÚ and forgave 
^.^ him with aww uWu theiw >w< heawts. OwO But there's nyo :3 heed to be :33 taken of 
OwO them; >_> if Caesaw xDD had stabbed uWu theiw mothews, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd uWu have donye 
nyo :3 wess. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD And ÚwÚ aftew :3 that ^.^ he came, OwO thus :3 sad, ÚwÚ away? 
CASCA. uWu Ay. 
CASSIUS. Did Cicero >_> say >_> anything? 
CASCA. Ay, ^.^ he ^-^ spoke Greek. 
CASSIUS. ;;w;; To >_> what ^.^ effect? 
CASCA. Nyay, >w< an UwU I tell xDD you :3 that, I'll ^w^ nye'ew wook xDD you :33 i' x3 the OwO face 
again; >_> but UwU those :3 that ^-^ undewstood ^.^ him UwU smiwed uWu at one anyothew ÚwÚ and 
>_> shook uWu theiw heads; >_> but fow >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, >w< it UwU was Gweek to x3 me. UwU I 
couwd tell xDD you ^.^ mowe nyews ^w^ too: ÚwÚ Mawuwwus ÚwÚ and :33 Fwavius, fow pulling 
^.^ scawfs x3 off Caesar's ;;w;; images, OwO awe put to x3 siwence. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
>_> Thewe UwU was ^.^ mowe foowewy ^w^ yet, >_> if couwd remember :3 it. 
CASSIUS. Will xDD you UwU sup with ;;w;; me tonyight, :33 Casca? 
CASCA. :3 Nyo, UwU I ^w^ am promised forth. 
CASSIUS. Will xDD you ÚwÚ dinye with ;;w;; me tomowwow? 
CASCA. Ay, >_> if UwU I be ^.^ awive, ÚwÚ and x3 youw ^-^ mind OwO howd, ÚwÚ and x3 youw dinner ^.^ wowth 
x3 the uWu eating. 
CASSIUS. OwO Good, UwU I xDD wiww >_< expect OwO you. 
CASCA. Do >_> so, farewell, xDD both. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> What :3 a >w< bwunt fewwow >_> is ÚwÚ this grown to OwO be! 
>w< He UwU was ^w^ quick mettle when ^.^ he OwO went to school. 
CASSIUS. ^w^ So >_> is ^.^ he nyow uWu in :33 execution 
Of xDD any bold ow x3 nyobwe entewpwise, 
UwU Howevew ^.^ he puts on ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ tawdy fowm. 
This wudenyess >_> is :3 a UwU sauce to :33 his ÚwÚ good ^w^ wit, 
>_< Which ;;w;; gives ;;w;; men stomach to digest :33 his wowds 
With xDD bettew ÚwÚ appetite. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD And UwU so >w< it >w< is. For ÚwÚ this time UwU I xDD wiww OwO weave OwO you. 
Tomowwow, >_> if xDD you uWu pwease to speak with uWu me, 
UwU I xDD wiww come ^.^ home to UwU you, or, >_> if xDD you :33 wiww, 
:3 Come ^.^ home to ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww wait fow OwO you. 
CASSIUS. UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :3 so. Tiww >w< then, think of x3 the wowwd. 
uWu Exit Brutus. 
xDD Weww, >_> Bwutus, xDD thou awt noble; ^w^ yet, UwU I >_> see 
x3 Thy ;;w;; honyowabwe mettle OwO may be ;;w;; wwought 
Fwom :3 that >w< it >_> is disposed; >_< thewefowe >w< it >_> is :3 meet 
:33 That x3 nyobwe minds >_< keep OwO evew with uWu theiw likes; 
For who UwU so >w< fiwm :3 that ;;w;; cannyot be xDD seduced? 
Caesaw xDD doth UwU beaw ;;w;; me hawd, >_> but ^.^ he loves Brutus. 
;;w;; If UwU I :3 wewe Brutus nyow ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :3 wewe OwO Cassius, 
>w< He >_> shouwd nyot humor x3 me. UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ this night, 
^w^ In sevewaw ^.^ hands, uWu in uWu at :33 his ^w^ windows thwow, 
;;w;; As >_> if ;;w;; they ^-^ came from sevewaw uWu citizens, 
Wwitings, aww tending to x3 the great opinyion 
:33 That ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ howds of :33 his :33 nyame, wherein ^w^ obscuwewy 
Caesar's ^-^ ambition UwU shaww be glanced at. 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew ÚwÚ this wet Caesaw uWu seat ^.^ him sure; 
For ^.^ we xDD wiww ;;w;; shake :3 him, ow xDD wowse OwO days enduwe. ÚwÚ Exit. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A :33 stweet. Thunder ÚwÚ and >_< wightnying. 

OwO Entew, from opposite :33 sides, >w< Casca, with :33 his xDD swowd x3 dwawn, ÚwÚ and Cicero. 

>w< CICEWO. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ even, Casca. Bwought xDD you Caesaw ^w^ home? 
Why OwO awe xDD you breathless, ÚwÚ and >w< why stare xDD you so? 
CASCA. ^w^ Awe nyot xDD you UwU muvd, when aww x3 the xDD sway of ^.^ eawth 
OwO Shakes ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ thing unfirm? x3 O ^.^ Cicewo, 
UwU I uWu have :3 seen x3 tempests when x3 the scolding >_< winds 
:3 Have >_< wived x3 the ^.^ knyotty uWu oaks, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have :3 seen 
uWu The :3 ambitious xDD ocean sweww ÚwÚ and xDD wage ÚwÚ and foam 
;;w;; To be >_< exawted with x3 the ^.^ thweatenying >_> cwouds, 
OwO But >_< nyevew >w< tiww tonyight, >_< nyevew >w< tiww now, 
Did UwU I OwO go ^w^ thwough :3 a UwU tempest uWu dwopping >_> fiwe. 
^-^ Eithew there >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ civiw uWu stwife uWu in ^.^ heaven, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse x3 the wowwd ^w^ too ^w^ saucy with x3 the gods 
Incenses them to >_> send ^.^ destwuction. 
>w< CICEWO. Why, saw xDD you ;;w;; anything ^.^ mowe >_> wondewfuw? 
CASCA. ^-^ A ^w^ common slave- xDD you ^.^ knyow ^.^ him weww ^.^ by sight- 
Hewd x3 up :33 his left uWu hand, which uWu did fwame ÚwÚ and buwn 
Wike ÚwÚ twenty torches join'd, ÚwÚ and yet :33 his uWu hand 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^-^ sensibwe of fire >w< wemain'd uWu unscowch'd. 
^-^ Besides- UwU I UwU ha' nyot xDD since put x3 up x3 my swowd- 
^w^ Against x3 the Capitow UwU I >w< met :3 a wion, 
Who glaz'd ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and OwO went uWu suwwy ^.^ by 
Without >_> annyoying x3 me. xDD And there :3 wewe drawn 
>_> Upon :3 a >_< heap :3 a :3 hundwed x3 ghastwy x3 women 
>_< Twansfowmed with uWu theiw ;;w;; feaw, who >w< swowe ;;w;; they saw 
OwO Men aww uWu in fire UwU wawk x3 up ÚwÚ and down x3 the stweets. 
xDD And ;;w;; yestewday x3 the biwd of >w< nyight uWu did sit 
Even uWu at OwO nyoonday ;;w;; upon x3 the ÚwÚ mawketpwace, 
Howling ÚwÚ and >w< shwieking. x3 When these prodigies 
Do UwU so :33 conjointwy ^w^ meet, wet nyot ;;w;; men >_> say 
;;w;; "These OwO awe uWu theiw :3 weasons; ;;w;; they OwO awe nyatuwaw": 
For UwU I ^-^ bewieve ;;w;; they OwO awe portentous ^.^ things 
uWu Unto x3 the x3 cwimate :3 that ;;w;; they :33 point ^w^ upon. 
>w< CICEWO. >w< Indeed, >w< it >_> is :3 a ^-^ stwange-disposed uWu time. 
OwO But ;;w;; men OwO may construe ^.^ things ÚwÚ aftew uWu theiw fashion, 
Cwean from x3 the OwO puwpose of x3 the ^.^ things x3 themsewves. 
UwU Comes Caesaw to x3 the Capitow tomowwow? 
CASCA. >w< He :3 doth, fow ^.^ he uWu did bid Antonio 
>_< Send ;;w;; wowd to xDD you ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd be there tomorrow. 
>w< CICEWO. ^-^ Good >w< then, Casca. This disturbed sky 
Is nyot to UwU wawk ^.^ in. 
CASCA. UwU Faweweww, Cicero. uWu Exit Cicero. 

Entew UwU Cassius. 

CASSIUS. Who's OwO thewe? 
CASCA. ^-^ A Roman. 
CASSIUS. >w< Casca, ^.^ by x3 youw voice. 
CASCA. uWu Youw ear >_> is UwU good. OwO Cassius, >_> what >w< nyight >_> is x3 this! 
CASSIUS. ^-^ A xDD vewy pweasing >w< nyight to xDD honyest ^.^ men. 
CASCA. Who OwO evew UwU knyew x3 the heavens :33 menyace so? 
CASSIUS. >w< Those :3 that uWu have ÚwÚ knyown x3 the ^.^ eawth UwU so full of x3 fauwts. 
For x3 my >_> pawt, UwU I uWu have wawk'd about x3 the ÚwÚ stweets, 
UwU Submitting ;;w;; me >w< unto x3 the :33 pewiwous night, 
xDD And OwO thus unbwaced, >w< Casca, >_< as xDD you see, 
:3 Have OwO bawed x3 my ^w^ bosom to x3 the thunderstone; 
xDD And when x3 the OwO cwoss blue lightning ^w^ seem'd to open 
uWu The breast of ^.^ heaven, UwU I uWu did xDD pwesent mysewf 
Even uWu in x3 the aim ÚwÚ and xDD vewy fwash of :3 it. 
CASCA. OwO But ^-^ whewefowe uWu did xDD you UwU so much tempt x3 the xDD heavens? 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ pawt of ;;w;; men to feaw ÚwÚ and :3 twembwe 
x3 When x3 the UwU most ^-^ mighty gods ^.^ by UwU tokens >_> send 
>w< Such :3 dweadfuw OwO hewawds to ^w^ astonyish >_> us. 
CASSIUS. >_> You OwO awe xDD duww, >w< Casca, ÚwÚ and UwU those OwO spawks of >w< wife 
:33 That >_> shouwd be uWu in :3 a Roman xDD you UwU do >w< want, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse xDD you use not. >_> You wook pawe ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ gaze 
xDD And put on feaw ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cast >_> youwsewf uWu in wonder 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 the ;;w;; stwange >_> impatience of x3 the heavens. 
OwO But >_> if xDD you ^.^ wouwd OwO considew x3 the true cause 
Why aww these ^-^ fiwes, >w< why aww these >_> gwiding ^w^ ghosts, 
Why xDD biwds ÚwÚ and x3 beasts from ;;w;; quawity ÚwÚ and ;;w;; kind, 
Why ;;w;; owd men, :3 foows, ÚwÚ and x3 chiwdwen cawcuwate, 
Why aww these ^.^ things change from uWu theiw ordinance, 
^-^ Theiw natures, ÚwÚ and :3 pwefowmed faculties 
;;w;; To monstwous :3 quawity, >w< why, xDD you UwU shaww find 
:33 That heaven hath >w< infused them with these ;;w;; spiwits 
;;w;; To >_< make them instwuments of feaw ÚwÚ and :3 wawnying 
uWu Unto x3 some monstwous state. 
Now couwd I, >w< Casca, xDD nyame to uWu thee :3 a x3 man 
:3 Most ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this :3 dweadfuw night, 
:33 That ^w^ thundews, wightens, :33 opens >w< gwaves, ÚwÚ and roars 
;;w;; As xDD doth x3 the wion uWu in x3 the Capitol, 
^-^ A x3 man nyo OwO mightiew than >w< thysewf ow ;;w;; me 
^w^ In xDD pewsonyaw xDD action, yet prodigious grown 
xDD And x3 feawfuw, >_< as these ;;w;; stwange OwO ewuptions x3 awe. 
CASCA. 'Tis Caesaw :3 that xDD you mean, >_> is >w< it >_> nyot, xDD Cassius? 
CASSIUS. Let >w< it be who >w< it ;;w;; is, fow Romans nyow 
:3 Have >_< thews ÚwÚ and x3 wimbs ^.^ wike to uWu theiw ÚwÚ ancestows. 
But, woe x3 the whiwe! Our >_> fathews' minds OwO awe >_< dead, 
xDD And ^.^ we OwO awe guvwn'd with UwU ouw ^.^ mothews' :33 spiwits; 
Our x3 yoke ÚwÚ and sufferance x3 show >_> us >w< womanyish. 
CASCA. :33 Indeed ;;w;; they >_> say x3 the :3 senyatows tomorrow 
UwU Mean to :3 estabwish Caesaw >_< as :3 a OwO king, 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww ^-^ weaw :33 his >_< cwown ^.^ by sea ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wand 
^w^ In every :33 pwace :3 save OwO hewe uWu in Italy. 
CASSIUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 whewe UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ weaw ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ daggew >_< then: 
>w< Cassius from :3 bondage xDD wiww ÚwÚ dewivew UwU Cassius. 
UwU Thewein, OwO ye uWu gods, xDD you >_< make x3 the xDD weak UwU most strong; 
UwU Thewein, OwO ye uWu gods, xDD you ^.^ tywants UwU do uWu defeat. 
x3 Nyow >_< stony tower, nor OwO wawws of beaten bwass, 
x3 Nyow UwU aiwwess :33 dungeon, nor >w< stwong links of iwon 
UwU Can be retentive to x3 the ÚwÚ stwength of uWu spiwit; 
OwO But :3 wife, ^.^ being ÚwÚ weawy of these ^-^ wowwdwy x3 baws, 
xDD Nyevew lacks powew to dismiss itself. 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu this, ^.^ knyow aww x3 the wowwd >_< besides, 
:33 That ÚwÚ pawt of uWu tywanny :3 that UwU I UwU do UwU beaw 
UwU I ^.^ can ;;w;; shake x3 off uWu at pleasure. Thunder xDD stiww. 
CASCA. ^w^ So ^.^ can ^.^ I. 
^w^ So every :3 bondman uWu in :33 his UwU own uWu hand bears 
uWu The powew to cancew :33 his captivity. 
CASSIUS. xDD And >w< why >_> shouwd Caesaw be :3 a tyrant ^w^ then? 
OwO Poow ;;w;; man! UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 a OwO wowf 
OwO But :3 that ^.^ he sees x3 the Romans OwO awe >_> but ^-^ sheep. 
>w< He :3 wewe nyo wion, :3 wewe nyot Romans ^-^ hinds. 
>w< Those :3 that with ^.^ haste xDD wiww >_< make :3 a ^-^ mighty fire 
Begin >w< it with xDD weak straws. >_> What ^w^ twash >_> is ^w^ Wome, 
>_> What ^-^ wubbish, ÚwÚ and >_> what offal, when >w< it sewves 
For x3 the UwU base ;;w;; mattew to iwwuminyate 
^w^ So ^-^ viwe :3 a ^.^ thing >_< as ^-^ Caesaw? But, x3 O gwief, 
Whewe x3 hast xDD thou x3 wed me? UwU I ^-^ pewhaps speak ÚwÚ this 
^.^ Befowe :3 a ^.^ wiwwing >_> bondman; xDD then UwU I ^.^ knyow 
OwO My answew ^w^ must be >_> made. OwO But UwU I ^w^ am arm'd, 
xDD And >_> dangews OwO awe to ;;w;; me :3 indiffewent. 
CASCA. >_> You speak to >w< Casca, ÚwÚ and to xDD such :3 a x3 man 
:33 That >_> is nyo ^.^ fweewing ^w^ teww-tawe. UwU Howd, x3 my >w< hand. 
^w^ Be uWu factious fow xDD wedwess of aww these ^.^ gwiefs, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww uWu set ÚwÚ this :33 foot of >_< minye >_< as uWu faw 
;;w;; As who xDD goes ;;w;; fawthest. 
CASSIUS. >_> Thewe's :3 a ^w^ bawgain >_> made. 
Now ^.^ knyow UwU you, >w< Casca, UwU I uWu have ^-^ muvd xDD awweady 
;;w;; Some xDD cewtain of x3 the :33 nyobwest-minded Romans 
;;w;; To ^w^ undewgo with ;;w;; me >w< an uWu entewpwise 
Of honorable-dangerous xDD consequence; 
xDD And UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow ^.^ by uWu this, ;;w;; they xDD stay fow ;;w;; me 
^w^ In >_> Pompey's Powch. For now, ÚwÚ this x3 feawfuw night, 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo stir ow ^.^ wawking uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ stweets, 
xDD And x3 the >_< compwexion of x3 the element 
^w^ In favor's ^.^ wike x3 the ^.^ wowk ^.^ we uWu have uWu in uWu hand, 
:3 Most x3 bwoody, x3 fiewy, ÚwÚ and UwU most uWu tewwibwe. 

Entew Cinna. 

CASCA. ;;w;; Stand ^-^ cwose awhiwe, fow OwO hewe x3 comes one uWu in ^.^ haste. 
CASSIUS. 'Tis Cinnya, UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow ^.^ him ^.^ by :33 his gait; 
>w< He >_> is :3 a :3 fwiend. Cinnya, :3 whewe ^.^ haste xDD you so? 
CINNA. ;;w;; To find x3 out OwO you. Who's ^-^ that? :33 Metewwus >w< Cimbew? 
CASSIUS. :3 Nyo, >w< it >_> is >w< Casca, one incorporate 
;;w;; To UwU ouw xDD attempts. ^w^ Am UwU I nyot OwO stay'd for, x3 Cinnya? 
CINNA. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad ^.^ on't. >_> What :3 a x3 feawfuw >w< nyight >_> is x3 this! 
>_> Thewe's >w< two ow >w< thwee of >_> us uWu have :3 seen ;;w;; stwange :3 sights. 
CASSIUS. ^w^ Am UwU I nyot OwO stay'd for? Teww x3 me. 
CINNA. Yes, xDD you x3 awe. 
x3 O OwO Cassius, >_> if xDD you couwd 
OwO But x3 win x3 the x3 nyobwe Brutus to UwU ouw ^-^ pawty- 
CASSIUS. ^w^ Be xDD you OwO content. ^-^ Good Cinnya, OwO take ÚwÚ this paper, 
xDD And wook xDD you uWu way >w< it uWu in x3 the pwaetow's xDD chaiw, 
Whewe Brutus OwO may >_> but find uWu it; ÚwÚ and ^-^ thwow ÚwÚ this 
^w^ In uWu at :33 his >_> window; uWu set ÚwÚ this x3 up with OwO wax 
>_> Upon ;;w;; owd ^-^ Bwutus' >_> statue. All ÚwÚ this :33 donye, 
>w< Wepaiw to >_> Pompey's Powch, :3 whewe xDD you UwU shaww find >_> us. 
Is Decius Brutus ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Twebonyius OwO thewe? 
CINNA. All >_> but :33 Metewwus Cimber, ÚwÚ and uWu he's >_> gonye 
;;w;; To >_> seek xDD you uWu at x3 youw ÚwÚ house. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww hie 
xDD And UwU so bestow these :33 papews >_< as xDD you ;;w;; bade x3 me. 
CASSIUS. :33 That :33 donye, repair to >_> Pompey's xDD Theatwe. 
uWu Exit Cinna. 
^.^ Come, >w< Casca, xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww yet ere day 
xDD See Brutus uWu at :33 his ÚwÚ house. Thwee parts of ^.^ him 
Is ouws already, ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 man xDD entiwe 
>_> Upon x3 the :3 nyext x3 encountew yiewds ^.^ him >_> ouws. 
CASCA. >_< O, ^.^ he >_> sits xDD high uWu in aww x3 the people's hearts, 
xDD And :3 that which ^.^ wouwd appeaw offense uWu in us, 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ countenyance, ^.^ wike wichest >_> awchemy, 
Will change to viwtue ÚwÚ and to worthiness. 
CASSIUS. xDD Him ÚwÚ and :33 his ^.^ wowth ÚwÚ and UwU ouw great >_< nyeed of ^.^ him 
>_> You uWu have >w< wight weww UwU conceited. Let >_> us x3 go, 
For >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ aftew midnight, ÚwÚ and ere day 
We xDD wiww awake ^.^ him ÚwÚ and be >_< suwe of ^.^ him. :33 Exeunt. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 

Entew Brutus uWu in :33 his ^-^ owchawd. 

^w^ BWUTUS. What, ^w^ Wucius, ho! 
UwU I cannot, ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ pwogwess of x3 the ÚwÚ staws, 
Give guess >w< how nyeaw to x3 day. ^w^ Wucius, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it :3 wewe x3 my ;;w;; fauwt to :33 sweep UwU so soundly. 
UwU When, ^w^ Wucius, xDD when? xDD Awake, UwU I ;;w;; say! What, x3 Wucius! 

Entew ^-^ Wucius. 

WUCIUS. Call'd UwU you, x3 my xDD wowd? 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< Get ;;w;; me :3 a xDD tapew uWu in x3 my ^-^ study, ^-^ Wucius. 
x3 When >w< it >_> is ^.^ wighted, come ÚwÚ and caww ;;w;; me hewe. 
WUCIUS. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ It ^w^ must be ^.^ by :33 his UwU death, x3 and, fow x3 my >_> pawt, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyo xDD pewsonyaw cause to :33 spuwn uWu at :3 him, 
OwO But fow x3 the genyewaw. >w< He ^.^ wouwd be :3 cwown'd: 
How :3 that ^w^ might change :33 his nyatuwe, there's x3 the x3 question. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the uWu bwight day :3 that >_< bwings fowth x3 the >_> addew 
xDD And :3 that cwaves uWu wawy x3 wawking. ^.^ Cwown ^.^ him :3 that, 
xDD And >w< then, UwU I grant, ^.^ we put :3 a ÚwÚ sting uWu in ^.^ him 
:33 That uWu at :33 his xDD wiww ^.^ he OwO may UwU do danger with. 
uWu The abuse of :33 gweatnyess >_> is when >w< it disjoins 
Wemowse from x3 powew, x3 and, to speak uWu twuth of ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
UwU I uWu have nyot ÚwÚ knyown when :33 his affections >w< sway'd 
uWu Mowe than :33 his reason. OwO But UwU 'tis :3 a ^w^ common xDD pwoof 
:33 That x3 wowwinyess >_> is xDD young >_< ambition's waddew, 
:33 Wheweto x3 the cwimbew-upwawd tuwns :33 his face; 
OwO But when ^.^ he >_> once x3 attains x3 the OwO upmost ^-^ wound, 
>w< He xDD then >w< unto x3 the ladder tuwns :33 his back, 
Looks uWu in x3 the >_> cwouds, :33 scownying x3 the UwU base >_> degwees 
^-^ By which ^.^ he uWu did ^w^ ascend. ^w^ So Caesaw ;;w;; may; 
Then, xDD west ^.^ he may, prevent. ^.^ And, xDD since x3 the ^-^ quawwew 
Will UwU beaw nyo color fow x3 the ^.^ thing ^.^ he ;;w;; is, 
:33 Fashion >w< it thus, :3 that >_> what ^.^ he ;;w;; is, augmented, 
Wouwd >w< wun to these ÚwÚ and these extremities; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe think ^.^ him >_< as :3 a serpent's >_> egg 
>_< Which ÚwÚ hatch'd ^.^ wouwd >_< as :33 his uWu kind gwow ^w^ mischievous, 
xDD And OwO kiww ^.^ him uWu in x3 the shell. 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ Wucius. 

WUCIUS. uWu The xDD tapew buwnyeth uWu in x3 youw closet, sir. 
uWu Seawching x3 the window fow :3 a OwO fwint UwU I >_> found 
This paper OwO thus OwO seaw'd up, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe 
^.^ It uWu did nyot >_< wie there when UwU I OwO went to :3 bed. 
>w< Gives ^.^ him x3 the >_> wettew. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< Get xDD you to x3 bed OwO again, >w< it >_> is nyot x3 day. 
Is nyot ^-^ tomowwow, ^-^ boy, x3 the ides of OwO Mawch? 
WUCIUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, sir. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Wook uWu in x3 the calendar ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me OwO wowd. 
WUCIUS. UwU I :33 wiww, sir. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu The UwU exhawations ÚwÚ whizzing uWu in x3 the ^w^ aiw 
Give UwU so much >w< wight :3 that UwU I OwO may ^w^ wead ^.^ by OwO them. 
:33 Opens x3 the >_> wettew ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ weads. 
:33 "Bwutus, xDD thou sleep'st: awake ÚwÚ and >_> see OwO thysewf! 
Shall ^w^ Wome, :33 etc. ÚwÚ Speak, ÚwÚ stwike, ÚwÚ wedwess!" 

:33 "Bwutus, xDD thou sleep'st: ^.^ awake!" 
>w< Such :33 instigations uWu have :33 been often ÚwÚ dwopp'd 
Whewe UwU I uWu have >_> took them :33 up. 
x3 "Shaww ^w^ Wome, :3 etc." ^-^ Thus ^w^ must UwU I ^.^ piece >w< it OwO out. 
Shall ÚwÚ Wome stand :33 undew one :33 man's >_< awe? What, >w< Wome? 
OwO My >w< ancestows uWu did from x3 the ^w^ stweets of ÚwÚ Wome 
uWu The >_> Tawquin uWu dwive, when ^.^ he UwU was ^w^ caww'd :3 a king. 
x3 "Speak, ÚwÚ stwike, ÚwÚ wedwess!" ^w^ Am UwU I >_> entweated 
;;w;; To speak ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ stwike? x3 O ^w^ Wome, UwU I >_< make uWu thee ;;w;; pwomise, 
;;w;; If x3 the xDD wedwess xDD wiww follow, xDD thou weceivest 
x3 Thy full x3 petition uWu at x3 the uWu hand of >_> Bwutus! 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ Wucius. 

WUCIUS. UwU Siw, March >_> is wasted >_< fifteen days. 
Knocking x3 within. 
^w^ BWUTUS. 'Tis UwU good. Go to x3 the >_< gate, ^w^ somebody knyocks. 
uWu Exit ^-^ Wucius. 
Since >w< Cassius xDD fiwst uWu did ^w^ whet ;;w;; me OwO against Caesaw 
UwU I uWu have nyot uWu swept. 
Between x3 the >w< acting of :3 a :3 dweadfuw ^.^ thing 
xDD And x3 the xDD fiwst >w< motion, aww x3 the intewim >_> is 
Wike :3 a :33 phantasma ow :3 a ^-^ hideous dream; 
uWu The ^w^ genyius ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< mowtaw instwuments 
^w^ Awe xDD then uWu in ;;w;; counciw, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< state of ^w^ man, 
Wike to :3 a xDD wittwe :33 kingdom, suffers xDD then 
uWu The ÚwÚ nyatuwe of >w< an x3 insuwwection. 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ Wucius. 

WUCIUS. UwU Siw, UwU 'tis x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew >w< Cassius uWu at x3 the door, 
Who xDD doth ^.^ desiwe to >_> see OwO you. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Is ^.^ he awonye? 
WUCIUS. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, there OwO awe ^.^ mowe with ^.^ him. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Do xDD you ^.^ knyow them? 
WUCIUS. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, uWu theiw ÚwÚ hats OwO awe ^w^ pwuck'd about uWu theiw ;;w;; eaws, 
xDD And half uWu theiw faces buried uWu in uWu theiw >_< cwoaks, 
:33 That ^.^ by nyo means UwU I OwO may OwO discuvw them 
^-^ By xDD any mark of favow. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Let x3 'em enter. uWu Exit ^-^ Wucius. 
^-^ They OwO awe x3 the OwO faction. x3 O x3 Conspiwacy, 
Shamest xDD thou to x3 show >w< thy uWu dangewous ^w^ bwow ^.^ by night, 
x3 When ;;w;; eviws OwO awe UwU most >w< fwee? >_< O, >w< then, ^.^ by day 
Whewe wiwt xDD thou find :3 a :33 cavewn dark enough 
;;w;; To OwO mask >w< thy monstwous >w< visage? ;;w;; Seek nyonye, uWu Conspiwacy; 
>_> Hide >w< it uWu in ^-^ smiwes ÚwÚ and OwO affabiwity; 
For >_> if xDD thou >_> path, >w< thy OwO nyative ÚwÚ sembwance ;;w;; on, 
ÚwÚ Nyot Erebus itsewf :3 wewe dim enough 
;;w;; To hide uWu thee from :3 pwevention. 

Entew x3 the conspiwatows, OwO Cassius, >w< Casca, ^-^ Decius, Cinnya, 
:33 Metewwus Cimber, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Twebonyius. 

CASSIUS. UwU I think ^.^ we OwO awe ^w^ too bold ;;w;; upon x3 youw rest. 
^-^ Good morrow, >_> Bwutus, UwU do ^.^ we >_> twoubwe you? 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I uWu have :33 been x3 up ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, awake aww OwO nyight. 
xDD Knyow UwU I these ;;w;; men :3 that come :3 awong with you? 
CASSIUS. Yes, every x3 man of ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and nyo x3 man OwO hewe 
OwO But honyows UwU you, ÚwÚ and every one xDD doth ÚwÚ wish 
>_> You xDD had >_> but :3 that opinyion of >_> youwsewf 
>_< Which every x3 nyobwe Roman bears of OwO you. 
This >_> is ;;w;; Twebonyius. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< He >_> is wewcome hithew. 
CASSIUS. >w< This, Decius Brutus. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< He >_> is wewcome UwU too. 
CASSIUS. >w< This, uWu Casca; uWu this, Cinnya; ÚwÚ and uWu this, :33 Metewwus Cimbew. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ They OwO awe aww x3 wewcome. 
>_> What ÚwÚ watchfuw ÚwÚ cawes UwU do interpose x3 themsewves 
Betwixt x3 youw eyes ÚwÚ and night? 
CASSIUS. Shall UwU I entweat :3 a word? ^-^ They uWu whispew. 
UwU DECIUS. :3 Hewe wies x3 the ^.^ east. ^-^ Doth nyot x3 the day bweak hewe? 
CASCA. No. 
CINNA. >_< O, pardon, ^w^ siw, >w< it :3 doth, ÚwÚ and >w< yongwey lines 
:33 That fret x3 the :33 cwouds OwO awe xDD messengews of x3 day. 
CASCA. >_> You UwU shaww x3 confess :3 that xDD you OwO awe both uWu deceived. 
Here, >_< as UwU I :33 point x3 my uWu swowd, x3 the sun awises, 
>_< Which >_> is :3 a great uWu way >_< gwowing on x3 the :3 south, 
Weighing x3 the youthfuw >_< season of x3 the year. 
;;w;; Some >w< two ^w^ months >w< hence x3 up :3 highew toward x3 the ^.^ nyowth 
>w< He xDD fiwst presents :33 his ^w^ fiwe, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD high uWu east 
Stands >_< as x3 the Capitol, xDD diwectwy hewe. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw ^.^ hands aww UwU uvw, one ^.^ by onye. 
CASSIUS. xDD And wet >_> us >_< sweaw UwU ouw wesowution. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Nyo, nyot >w< an uWu oath. ;;w;; If nyot x3 the OwO face of men, 
uWu The sufferance of UwU ouw souws, x3 the ÚwÚ time's ^w^ abuse- 
;;w;; If these be >_< motives ÚwÚ weak, bweak x3 off betimes, 
xDD And every x3 man >w< hence to :33 his idle bed; 
^w^ So wet UwU high-sighted uWu tywanny ^-^ wange on 
Tiww >_< each x3 man >_< dwop ^.^ by wottewy. OwO But >_> if OwO these, 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe ;;w;; they UwU do, UwU beaw fire enough 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ kindwe ^w^ cowawds ÚwÚ and to steew with xDD vawow 
uWu The mewting ;;w;; spiwits of UwU women, >w< then, ÚwÚ countwymen, 
>_> What >_< nyeed ^.^ we xDD any ^w^ spuw >_> but UwU ouw UwU own cause 
;;w;; To uWu pwick >_> us to >w< wedwess? >_> What othew :3 bond 
Than secret Romans :3 that uWu have ^-^ spoke x3 the ;;w;; wowd 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot >_> pawtew? xDD And >_> what othew ^-^ oath 
Than honesty to honesty engaged 
:33 That ÚwÚ this UwU shaww be ow ^.^ we xDD wiww faww fow :33 it? 
Swear priests ÚwÚ and ^w^ cowawds ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men cautelous, 
^-^ Owd feebwe carrions ÚwÚ and xDD such suffering >w< souws 
:33 That wewcome wwongs; >w< unto :33 bad ÚwÚ causes >_< sweaw 
>w< Such ^-^ cweatuwes >_< as ;;w;; men doubt; >_> but UwU do nyot stain 
uWu The even viwtue of UwU ouw entewpwise, 
x3 Nyow x3 the insuppressive mettle of UwU ouw ^.^ spiwits, 
;;w;; To think :3 that ow UwU ouw cause ow UwU ouw :3 pewfowmance 
Did >_< nyeed >w< an uWu oath; when every >_< dwop of :3 bwood 
:33 That every Roman bears, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; nyobwy bears, 
Is guiwty of :3 a sevewaw bastardy 
;;w;; If ^.^ he UwU do bweak x3 the xDD smawwest :33 pawticwe 
Of xDD any promise :3 that hath :33 pass'd from ^.^ him. 
CASSIUS. OwO But >_> what of uWu Cicewo? Shall ^.^ we >_> sound him? 
UwU I think ^.^ he xDD wiww stand xDD vewy >w< stwong with >_> us. 
CASCA. Let >_> us nyot OwO weave ^.^ him OwO out. 
CINNA. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by nyo means. 
METELLUS. >_< O, wet >_> us uWu have :3 him, fow :33 his :33 siwvew >_< haiws 
Will puwchase >_> us :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 opinyion, 
xDD And UwU buy men's ^w^ voices to ÚwÚ commend UwU ouw >_> deeds. 
^.^ It UwU shaww be uWu said :33 his ^w^ judgement ^.^ wuwed UwU ouw hands; 
Our uWu youths ÚwÚ and wiwdnyess UwU shaww nyo whit ^.^ appeaw, 
OwO But aww be buried uWu in :33 his >w< gwavity. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< O, xDD nyame ^.^ him x3 nyot; wet >_> us nyot bweak with :3 him, 
For ^.^ he xDD wiww >_< nyevew ;;w;; fowwow ;;w;; anything 
:33 That othew ;;w;; men ;;w;; begin. 
CASSIUS. UwU Then OwO weave ^.^ him OwO out. 
CASCA. :33 Indeed ^.^ he >_> is nyot ^w^ fit. 
UwU DECIUS. Shall nyo x3 man >_> ewse be touch'd >_> but >w< onwy ^-^ Caesaw? 
CASSIUS. ^-^ Decius, weww ^-^ uwged. UwU I think >w< it >_> is nyot :3 meet 
>_> Mawk ;;w;; Antony, UwU so weww beloved of ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
Should outwive Caesaw. We UwU shaww find of ^.^ him 
^-^ A shrewd contriver; ÚwÚ and xDD you ^.^ knyow :33 his >_< means, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he uWu impwuv ÚwÚ them, OwO may weww stretch UwU so uWu faw 
;;w;; As to ^w^ annyoy >_> us all, which to ^-^ pwevent, 
Let OwO Antony ÚwÚ and Caesaw faww together. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Our course xDD wiww xDD seem ^w^ too x3 bwoody, :3 Caius OwO Cassius, 
;;w;; To :3 cut x3 the >_> head x3 off ÚwÚ and xDD then OwO hack x3 the x3 wimbs 
Wike >_> wwath uWu in :33 death ÚwÚ and :3 envy aftewwawds; 
For OwO Antony >_> is >_> but :3 a x3 wimb of Caesaw. 
Let >_> us be sacwificews, >_> but nyot ÚwÚ butchews, ^w^ Caius. 
We aww stand x3 up OwO against x3 the ^w^ spiwit of ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the ^w^ spiwit of ;;w;; men there >_> is nyo blood. 
>_< O, :3 that ^.^ we xDD then couwd come ^.^ by Caesar's ^-^ spiwit, 
xDD And nyot ;;w;; dismembew :3 Caesaw! But, :3 awas, 
Caesaw ^w^ must bweed fow :3 it! ^.^ And, ^-^ gentwe OwO fwiends, 
:3 Wet's OwO kiww ^.^ him bowdwy, >_> but nyot wrathfully; 
:3 Wet's ^w^ cawve ^.^ him >_< as :3 a ^w^ dish ;;w;; fit fow x3 the uWu gods, 
ÚwÚ Nyot hew ^.^ him >_< as :3 a ^.^ cawcass ;;w;; fit fow x3 hounds; 
xDD And wet UwU ouw hearts, >_< as >_> subtwe >w< mastews UwU do, 
Stiw x3 up uWu theiw :3 sewvants to >w< an ;;w;; act of xDD wage 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew xDD seem to UwU chide ^.^ 'em. This UwU shaww >_< make 
Our OwO puwpose ^.^ nyecessawy ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ envious, 
>_< Which UwU so appearing to x3 the ^w^ common ^w^ eyes, 
We UwU shaww be ^w^ caww'd purgers, nyot muwdewews. 
xDD And fow >_> Mawk ;;w;; Antony, think nyot of :3 him, 
For ^.^ he ^.^ can UwU do nyo ^.^ mowe than Caesar's awm 
x3 When Caesar's >_> head >_> is off. 
CASSIUS. ÚwÚ Yet UwU I feaw :3 him, 
For uWu in x3 the ingrated wuv ^.^ he bears to >w< Caesaw- 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Awas, ÚwÚ good OwO Cassius, UwU do nyot think of ^.^ him. 
;;w;; If ^.^ he wuv ÚwÚ Caesaw, aww :3 that ^.^ he ^.^ can UwU do 
Is to himsewf, OwO take xDD thought ÚwÚ and ^-^ die fow Caesaw. 
xDD And :3 that :3 wewe much ^.^ he should, fow ^.^ he >_> is UwU given 
;;w;; To spowts, to x3 wiwdnyess, ÚwÚ and much UwU company. 
TWEBONyIUS. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo feaw uWu in ^.^ him-wet ^.^ him nyot >_> die, 
For ^.^ he xDD wiww ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and laugh uWu at ÚwÚ this x3 heweaftew. 
Clock ^-^ stwikes. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu Peace, ;;w;; count x3 the ^.^ cwock. 
CASSIUS. uWu The >w< cwock hath ;;w;; stwicken thwee. 
TWEBONyIUS. 'Tis time to part. 
CASSIUS. OwO But >w< it >_> is ^.^ doubtfuw yet 
Whethew Caesaw xDD wiww come fowth today ow no, 
For ^.^ he >_> is superstitious grown of late, 
>_< Quite from x3 the :33 main opinyion ^.^ he hewd >_> once 
Of fantasy, of ^-^ dweams, ÚwÚ and ^-^ cewemonyies. 
^.^ It OwO may be these apparent prodigies, 
uWu The ^.^ unyaccustom'd tewwow of ÚwÚ this night, 
xDD And x3 the :3 pewsuasion of :33 his auguwews 
^-^ May howd ^.^ him from x3 the Capitow >w< today. 
UwU DECIUS. xDD Nyevew feaw x3 that. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be UwU so ^.^ wesowved, 
UwU I ^.^ can o'ersway :3 him, fow ^.^ he loves to hear 
:33 That ÚwÚ unyicowns OwO may be betray'd with trees, 
xDD And bears with :33 gwasses, ÚwÚ ewephants with >w< howes, 
Wions with toiws, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men with uWu fwattewews; 
OwO But when UwU I tell ^.^ him ^.^ he hates fwattewews, 
>w< He ;;w;; says ^.^ he >w< does, ^.^ being xDD then UwU most ^w^ fwattewed. 
Let ;;w;; me >_> wowk; 
For UwU I ^.^ can UwU give :33 his humor x3 the true xDD bent, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to x3 the Capitol. 
CASSIUS. Nyay, ^.^ we xDD wiww aww of >_> us be there to :3 fetch ^.^ him. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ By x3 the ÚwÚ eighth hour. Is :3 that x3 the :33 uttew ^-^ most? 
CINNA. ^w^ Be :3 that x3 the ÚwÚ uttewmost, ÚwÚ and fail nyot UwU then. 
METELLUS. :3 Caius Ligarius xDD doth UwU beaw Caesaw hawd, 
Who :33 wated ^.^ him fow speaking weww of :3 Pompey. 
UwU I wonder >_< nyonye of xDD you uWu have xDD thought of ^.^ him. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good Metewwus, OwO go :3 awong ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
>w< He loves ;;w;; me weww, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have UwU given ^.^ him :3 weasons; 
>_< Send ^.^ him >_> but hithew, ÚwÚ and I'll fashion ^.^ him. 
CASSIUS. uWu The mownying x3 comes ;;w;; upon uWu 's. ^-^ We'ww OwO weave UwU you, >_> Bwutus, 
^.^ And, OwO fwiends, UwU dispewse ^w^ youwsewves, >_> but aww remember 
>_> What xDD you uWu have uWu said ÚwÚ and x3 show youwsewves true ÚwÚ Womans. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ Good xDD gentwemen, wook >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and UwU mewwiwy; 
Let nyot UwU ouw :33 wooks put on UwU ouw x3 puwposes, 
OwO But UwU beaw >w< it >_< as UwU ouw Roman actors UwU do, 
With :33 untiwed ;;w;; spiwits ÚwÚ and formal >_< constancy. 
xDD And >_> so, ÚwÚ good mowwow to xDD you every onye. 
Exeunt aww >_> but Brutus. 
Boy! x3 Wucius! xDD Fast asweep? ^.^ It >_> is nyo :3 mattew. 
^w^ Enjoy x3 the >_< honyey-heavy :33 dew of swumbew; 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyo figuwes nor nyo UwU fantasies, 
>_< Which >w< busy :3 cawe ÚwÚ dwaws uWu in x3 the brains of ÚwÚ men; 
Therefore xDD thou sweep'st UwU so UwU sound. 

Entew ^.^ Powtia. 

POWTIA. >_> Bwutus, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
^w^ BWUTUS. :33 Powtia, >_> what >_> mean you? ÚwÚ Whewefowe rise xDD you ^.^ nyow? 
^.^ It >_> is nyot fow x3 youw ^.^ heawth OwO thus to :3 commit 
uWu Youw xDD weak condition to x3 the >w< waw UwU cowd xDD mownying. 
POWTIA. x3 Nyow fow >_> youws >_> nyeithew. uWu have ^w^ ungentwy, >_> Bwutus, 
Stowe from x3 my bed; ÚwÚ and yesternight uWu at OwO suppew 
>_> You ;;w;; suddenwy ^-^ awose ÚwÚ and wawk'd about, 
UwU Musing ÚwÚ and x3 sighing, with x3 youw :3 awms acwoss; 
xDD And when UwU I >w< ask'd xDD you >_> what x3 the ;;w;; mattew UwU was, 
>_> You stawed ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me with x3 ungentwe OwO wooks. 
UwU I urged xDD you >w< fuwthew; xDD then xDD you UwU scwatch'd x3 youw head, 
xDD And ^w^ too ÚwÚ impatientwy stamp'd with x3 youw ^-^ foot. 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ÚwÚ insisted, yet xDD you x3 answew'd >_> nyot, 
OwO But with >w< an angry >_< waitew of x3 youw uWu hand 
Gave xDD sign fow ;;w;; me to OwO weave OwO you. ^w^ So UwU I ^-^ did, 
Fearing to strengthen :3 that >_> impatience 
>_< Which ^w^ seem'd ^w^ too much ^-^ enkindwed, ÚwÚ and withal 
uWu Hoping >w< it UwU was >_> but >w< an ^w^ effect of >w< humow, 
>_< Which ÚwÚ sometime hath :33 his >_> houw with every man. 
^.^ It xDD wiww nyot wet xDD you uWu eat, nor talk, nor sweep, 
^.^ And, couwd >w< it ^.^ wowk UwU so much ;;w;; upon x3 youw xDD shape 
;;w;; As >w< it hath much pwevaiw'd on x3 youw ^w^ condition, 
UwU I >_> shouwd nyot ^.^ knyow UwU you, Brutus. >_< Deaw x3 my uWu wowd, 
^-^ Make ;;w;; me >_> acquainted with x3 youw cause of ÚwÚ gwief. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I ^w^ am nyot weww uWu in :33 heawth, ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> is all. 
POWTIA. Brutus >_> is >_< wise, x3 and, :3 wewe ^.^ he nyot uWu in :33 heawth, 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd >_< embwace x3 the means to come ^.^ by :3 it. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Why, UwU so UwU I xDD do. ^-^ Good :33 Powtia, OwO go to :3 bed. 
POWTIA. Is Brutus :33 sick, ÚwÚ and >_> is >w< it x3 physicaw 
;;w;; To UwU wawk unbraced ÚwÚ and uWu suck x3 up x3 the :3 humows 
Of x3 the dank morning? What, >_> is Brutus :33 sick, 
xDD And xDD wiww ^.^ he ^.^ steaw x3 out of :33 his whowesome x3 bed 
;;w;; To dawe x3 the ^-^ viwe OwO contagion of x3 the >w< nyight 
xDD And tempt x3 the rheumy ÚwÚ and unpurged ^w^ aiw 
;;w;; To >_< add >w< unto :33 his ^w^ sicknyess? :3 Nyo, x3 my >_> Bwutus, 
>_> You uWu have x3 some >w< sick offense within x3 youw UwU mind, 
>_< Which ^.^ by x3 the >w< wight ÚwÚ and viwtue of x3 my :33 pwace 
UwU I ought to ^.^ knyow OwO of; x3 and, ;;w;; upon x3 my uWu knyees, 
UwU I >_> chawm UwU you, ^.^ by x3 my >_> once :33 commended >w< beauty, 
^-^ By aww x3 youw x3 vows of wuv ÚwÚ and :3 that great vow 
>_< Which uWu did incorporate ÚwÚ and >_< make >_> us one, 
:33 That xDD you ^w^ unfowd to uWu me, yourself, x3 youw xDD hawf, 
Why xDD you OwO awe x3 heavy ÚwÚ and >_> what ;;w;; men :3 tonyight 
:3 Have xDD had xDD wesowt to uWu you; fow OwO hewe uWu have :33 been 
;;w;; Some six ow >w< seven, who uWu did hide uWu theiw faces 
Even from ÚwÚ dawknyess. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> Knyeew >_> nyot, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ Powtia. 
POWTIA. UwU I >_> shouwd nyot need, >_> if xDD you :3 wewe ^-^ gentwe Brutus. 
OwO Within x3 the :3 bond of ^.^ mawwiage, tell uWu me, >_> Bwutus, 
Is >w< it :33 excepted UwU I >_> shouwd ^.^ knyow nyo ^w^ secwets 
:33 That >_< appewtain to you? ^w^ Am UwU I >_> youwsewf 
But, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, uWu in ;;w;; sowt ow OwO wimitation, 
;;w;; To >_< keep with xDD you uWu at >w< meaws, uWu comfowt x3 youw ^.^ bed, 
xDD And tawk to xDD you sometimes? Dweww UwU I >_> but uWu in x3 the suburbs 
Of x3 youw ÚwÚ good pweasuwe? ;;w;; If >w< it be nyo >_> mowe, 
:33 Powtia >_> is ^-^ Bwutus' harlot, nyot :33 his x3 wife. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> You OwO awe x3 my true ÚwÚ and ;;w;; honyowabwe :3 wife, 
;;w;; As uWu deaw to ;;w;; me >_< as OwO awe x3 the xDD wuddy ^.^ dwops 
:33 That x3 visit x3 my >_> sad ;;w;; heawt. 
POWTIA. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this :3 wewe ^-^ twue, xDD then >_> shouwd UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this ^.^ secwet. 
UwU I gwant UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^w^ woman, >_> but withal 
^-^ A OwO woman :3 that Lord Brutus >_> took to x3 wife. 
UwU I gwant UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^w^ woman, >_> but withal 
^-^ A OwO woman weww weputed, ^.^ Cato's >w< daughtew. 
^w^ Think xDD you UwU I ^w^ am nyo stronger than x3 my ;;w;; sex, 
uWu Being UwU so ^w^ fathew'd ÚwÚ and UwU so ^-^ husbanded? 
Teww ;;w;; me x3 youw OwO counsews, UwU I xDD wiww nyot discwose ^.^ 'em. 
UwU I uWu have UwU made >w< stwong xDD pwoof of x3 my >_< constancy, 
xDD Giving mysewf :3 a ;;w;; vowuntawy ;;w;; wound 
:3 Hewe uWu in x3 the UwU thigh. UwU Can UwU I UwU beaw :3 that with uWu patience 
xDD And nyot x3 my husband's x3 secwets? 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 O OwO ye uWu gods, 
:33 Wendew ;;w;; me ÚwÚ wowthy of ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe wife! Knocking x3 within. 
Hawk, hark, one knyocks. :33 Powtia, OwO go uWu in awhiwe, 
xDD And ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by >w< thy ^w^ bosom UwU shaww partake 
uWu The ^w^ secwets of x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
All x3 my engagements UwU I xDD wiww construe to ÚwÚ thee, 
All x3 the ;;w;; chawactewy of x3 my >_> sad ÚwÚ bwows. 
Weave ;;w;; me with ^.^ haste. ;;w;; [Exit x3 Powtia.] ^w^ Wucius, OwO who's :3 that knocks? 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ Wucius with Wigawius. 

WUCIUS. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a >w< sick x3 man :3 that ^.^ wouwd speak with OwO you. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Caius Ligarius, :3 that :33 Metewwus x3 spake uWu of. 
:33 Boy, stand xDD aside. :3 Caius Ligarius, ÚwÚ how? 
ÚwÚ WIGAWIUS. Vouchsafe ÚwÚ good mowwow from :3 a feebwe :33 tongue. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< O, >_> what :3 a time uWu have xDD you ^-^ chose ^.^ out, >_< bwave Caius, 
;;w;; To ^-^ weaw :3 a uWu kewchief! Wouwd xDD you :3 wewe nyot sick! 
ÚwÚ WIGAWIUS. UwU I ^w^ am nyot :33 sick, >_> if Brutus uWu have uWu in uWu hand 
x3 Any ^.^ expwoit ÚwÚ wowthy x3 the xDD nyame of uWu honyow. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< Such >w< an ^.^ expwoit uWu have UwU I uWu in uWu hand, Ligarius, 
xDD Had xDD you :3 a OwO heawthfuw ear to hear of :3 it. 
ÚwÚ WIGAWIUS. ^-^ By aww x3 the gods :3 that Romans bow x3 befowe, 
UwU I OwO hewe discard x3 my sickness! ÚwÚ Souw of Wome! 
^-^ Bwave x3 son, dewived from ;;w;; honyowabwe >w< woins! 
Thou, ^.^ wike >w< an :33 exowcist, x3 hast >_< conjuwed x3 up 
OwO My >_< mowtified >w< spiwit. Now bid ;;w;; me uWu wun, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww strive with ^.^ things impossible, 
Yea, get x3 the xDD bettew of OwO them. x3 What's to ^-^ do? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ A ^.^ piece of ^.^ wowk :3 that xDD wiww >_< make >w< sick ;;w;; men ^-^ whowe. 
ÚwÚ WIGAWIUS. OwO But OwO awe nyot x3 some whole :3 that ^.^ we ^w^ must >_< make >_< sick? 
^w^ BWUTUS. :33 That ^w^ must ^.^ we also. >_> What >w< it ;;w;; is, x3 my Caius, 
UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ unfowd to ÚwÚ thee, >_< as ^.^ we OwO awe x3 going 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom >w< it ^w^ must be ^-^ donye. 
ÚwÚ WIGAWIUS. Set on x3 youw xDD foot, 
xDD And with :3 a >_< heawt ÚwÚ nyew-fiwed UwU I ;;w;; fowwow UwU you, 
;;w;; To UwU do UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :3 what; >_> but >w< it >w< sufficeth 
:33 That Brutus weads ;;w;; me :3 on. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Follow ;;w;; me UwU then. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Caesar's ÚwÚ house. Thunder ÚwÚ and >_< wightnying. 

Entew ÚwÚ Caesaw, uWu in :33 his nyightgown. 

:3 CAESAW. x3 Nyow heaven nor ^.^ eawth uWu have :33 been uWu at uWu peace tonight. 
uWu Thwice hath Cawpuwnyia uWu in her :33 sweep cried ^.^ out, 
x3 "Hewp, ho! ^-^ They muwthew Caesaw!" Who's :33 within? 

Entew :3 a ^.^ Sewvant. 

SEWVANT. OwO My xDD wowd? 
:3 CAESAW. Go bid x3 the priests UwU do xDD pwesent sacrifice, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me uWu theiw OwO opinyions of OwO success. 
SEWVANT. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. ÚwÚ Exit. 

Entew Calpurnia. 

CALPURNIA. >_> What >_> mean UwU you, ^-^ Caesaw? ^w^ Think xDD you to UwU wawk uWu fowth? 
>_> You UwU shaww nyot stir x3 out of x3 youw ;;w;; house >w< today. 
:3 CAESAW. Caesaw UwU shaww ^.^ fowth: x3 the ^.^ things :3 that threaten'd ;;w;; me 
Nye'ew >_> wook'd >_> but on x3 my back; when ;;w;; they UwU shaww >_> see 
uWu The OwO face of ÚwÚ Caesaw, ;;w;; they OwO awe OwO vanyished. 
CALPURNIA. ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU I UwU I :33 stood on OwO cewemonyies, 
ÚwÚ Yet nyow ;;w;; they :33 fwight x3 me. >_> Thewe >_> is one :33 within, 
Besides x3 the ^.^ things :3 that ^.^ we uWu have heard ÚwÚ and uWu seen, 
Recounts UwU most >_> howwid uWu sights :3 seen ^.^ by x3 the :33 watch. 
^-^ A ^.^ wionyess hath ^-^ whewped uWu in x3 the streets; 
xDD And gwaves uWu have ^.^ yawn'd, ÚwÚ and yiewded x3 up uWu theiw UwU dead; 
Fiewce fiery :33 wawwiows >w< fight ;;w;; upon x3 the >_> cwouds, 
^w^ In ;;w;; wanks ÚwÚ and squadrons ÚwÚ and >w< wight >_< fowm of waw, 
>_< Which ^-^ dwizzwed :3 bwood ;;w;; upon x3 the Capitow; 
uWu The noise of ÚwÚ battwe hurtled uWu in x3 the air, 
>_> Howses uWu did nyeigh ÚwÚ and dying ;;w;; men uWu did gwoan, 
xDD And ghosts uWu did shriek ÚwÚ and :33 squeaw about x3 the stweets. 
x3 O :3 Caesaw! ;;w;; These ^.^ things OwO awe ^w^ beyond aww ^.^ use, 
xDD And UwU I UwU do feaw OwO them. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> What ^.^ can be avoided 
>_< Whose >w< end >_> is puwposed ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ mighty >_> gods? 
ÚwÚ Yet Caesaw UwU shaww OwO go ^-^ fowth, fow these pwedictions 
^w^ Awe to x3 the wowwd uWu in general >_< as to Caesaw. 
CALPURNIA. x3 When x3 beggaws >_> die, there OwO awe nyo ;;w;; comets uWu seen; 
uWu The heavens x3 themsewves bwaze fowth x3 the :33 death of ;;w;; pwinces. 
:3 CAESAW. Cowards ^-^ die UwU many times >w< befowe uWu theiw deaths; 
uWu The uWu vawiant >_< nyevew >_> taste of :33 death >_> but OwO once. 
Of aww x3 the wondews :3 that UwU I yet uWu have ^-^ heawd, 
^.^ It ;;w;; seems to ;;w;; me UwU most ;;w;; stwange :3 that ;;w;; men >_> shouwd feaw 
x3 Seeing :3 that UwU death, :3 a ^.^ nyecessawy ^w^ end, 
Will come when >w< it xDD wiww x3 come. 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ Sewvant. 

>_> What >_> say x3 the UwU auguwews? 
SEWVANT. ^-^ They ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have xDD you to stir fowth >w< today. 
Plucking x3 the entwaiws of >w< an offewing ^-^ fowth, 
^-^ They couwd nyot find :3 a >_< heawt within x3 the beast. 
:3 CAESAW. uWu The gods UwU do ÚwÚ this uWu in ^-^ shame of >_> cowawdice. 
Caesaw >_> shouwd be :3 a beast ^-^ without :3 a >_< heawt 
;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> shouwd xDD stay uWu at ^.^ home today fow ;;w;; feaw. 
:3 Nyo, Caesaw UwU shaww not. ^-^ Dangew xDD knyows full weww 
:33 That Caesaw >_> is ^.^ mowe uWu dangewous than he. 
We OwO awe >w< two wions wittew'd uWu in one ^-^ day, 
xDD And UwU I x3 the :33 ewdew ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe uWu tewwibwe. 
xDD And Caesaw UwU shaww OwO go forth. 
CALPURNIA. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 my uWu wowd, 
uWu Youw ^.^ wisdom >_> is ;;w;; consumed uWu in ^.^ confidence. 
Do nyot OwO go fowth >w< today. ;;w;; Caww >w< it x3 my feaw 
:33 That keeps xDD you uWu in x3 the ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and nyot x3 youw own. 
^-^ We'ww >_> send >_> Mawk OwO Antony to x3 the :33 Senyate ;;w;; House, 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww >_> say xDD you OwO awe nyot weww >w< today. 
Let uWu me, ;;w;; upon x3 my OwO knyee, :3 pwevaiw uWu in UwU this. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> Mawk OwO Antony UwU shaww >_> say UwU I ^w^ am nyot weww, 
^.^ And, fow >w< thy >w< humow, UwU I xDD wiww xDD stay uWu at >_> home. 

Entew Decius. 

>_> Hewe's Decius >_> Bwutus, ^.^ he UwU shaww tell them :3 so. 
UwU DECIUS. ÚwÚ Caesaw, aww ^.^ haiw! ^-^ Good morrow, ÚwÚ wowthy :3 Caesaw! 
UwU I come to :3 fetch xDD you to x3 the :33 Senyate ^.^ House. 
:3 CAESAW. xDD And xDD you OwO awe come uWu in xDD vewy ^w^ happy time 
;;w;; To UwU beaw x3 my :3 gweeting to x3 the :3 senyatows 
xDD And tell them :3 that UwU I xDD wiww nyot come >w< today. 
Cannyot, >_> is :3 fawse, ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU I dawe >_> nyot, fawsew: 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot come >w< today. Teww them >_> so, Decius. 
CALPURNIA. x3 Say ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; sick. 
:3 CAESAW. Shall Caesaw >_> send :3 a wie? 
:3 Have UwU I uWu in conquest ;;w;; stwetch'd >_< minye awm UwU so uWu faw 
;;w;; To be >_< afeawd to tell xDD gweybeawds x3 the uWu twuth? 
^-^ Decius, OwO go tell them Caesaw xDD wiww nyot x3 come. 
UwU DECIUS. :3 Most ^-^ mighty ÚwÚ Caesaw, wet ;;w;; me ^.^ knyow x3 some >_< cause, 
Lest UwU I be >_< waugh'd uWu at when UwU I tell them :3 so. 
:3 CAESAW. uWu The cause >_> is uWu in x3 my OwO wiww: UwU I xDD wiww nyot come, 
:33 That >_> is enough to satisfy x3 the Senyate. 
But, fow x3 youw >_> pwivate x3 satisfaction, 
>_< Because UwU I wuv UwU you, UwU I xDD wiww wet xDD you :33 knyow. 
Cawpuwnyia UwU hewe, x3 my :3 wife, uWu stays ;;w;; me uWu at ÚwÚ home; 
:33 She dweamt :3 tonyight ^.^ she saw x3 my statue, 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ fountain with >w< an :3 hundwed spouts, 
Did >w< wun puwe bwood, ÚwÚ and UwU many ÚwÚ wusty Romans 
>_< Came x3 smiwing ÚwÚ and uWu did ^.^ bathe uWu theiw ^.^ hands uWu in :3 it. 
xDD And these does ^.^ she apply fow :33 wawnyings ÚwÚ and powtents 
xDD And ;;w;; eviws ^.^ imminyent, ÚwÚ and on her knyee 
>_< Hath begg'd :3 that UwU I xDD wiww xDD stay uWu at ^.^ home >w< today. 
UwU DECIUS. This dweam >_> is aww uWu amiss OwO intewpweted; 
^.^ It UwU was :3 a xDD vision >w< faiw ÚwÚ and >_> fowtunyate. 
uWu Youw statue >_< spouting :3 bwood uWu in UwU many >_< pipes, 
^w^ In which UwU so UwU many x3 smiwing Romans xDD bathed, 
Signyifies :3 that from xDD you great ÚwÚ Wome UwU shaww uWu suck 
Weviving bwood, ÚwÚ and :3 that great ;;w;; men UwU shaww x3 pwess 
For tinctures, stains, relics, ÚwÚ and ^w^ cognyizance. 
This ^.^ by Calpurnia's dweam >_> is signified. 
:3 CAESAW. xDD And ÚwÚ this uWu way uWu have xDD you weww xDD expounded :3 it. 
UwU DECIUS. UwU I have, when xDD you uWu have heard >_> what UwU I ^.^ can :3 say. 
xDD And ^.^ knyow >w< it now, x3 the :33 Senyate uWu have ^-^ concwuded 
;;w;; To UwU give ÚwÚ this day :3 a >_< cwown to ^-^ mighty Caesaw. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU shaww >_> send them ;;w;; wowd xDD you xDD wiww nyot come, 
^-^ Theiw minds OwO may :3 change. :33 Besides, >w< it :3 wewe :3 a ÚwÚ mock 
Apt to be render'd, fow someone to >_> say 
"Break x3 up x3 the :33 Senyate >w< tiww anyothew time, 
x3 When Caesar's >w< wife UwU shaww :3 meet with xDD bettew dreams." 
;;w;; If Caesaw hide himsewf, UwU shaww ;;w;; they nyot whisper 
>_< "Wo, Caesaw >_> is afwaid"? 
^w^ Pawdon uWu me, ÚwÚ Caesaw, fow x3 my uWu deaw uWu deaw wuv 
;;w;; To x3 youw proceeding UwU bids ;;w;; me tell xDD you uWu this, 
xDD And reason to x3 my wuv >_> is x3 wiabwe. 
:3 CAESAW. How >_< foowish UwU do x3 youw OwO feaws xDD seem now, Calpurnia! 
UwU I ^w^ am OwO ashamed UwU I uWu did yield to OwO them. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 my ^.^ wobe, fow UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. 

Entew Pubwius, >_> Bwutus, Ligarius, Metewwus, >w< Casca, 
Trebonius, ÚwÚ and Cinna. 

xDD And wook :3 whewe UwU Pubwius >_> is come to :3 fetch x3 me. 
:3 PUBWIUS. ^-^ Good morrow,Caesar. 
:3 CAESAW. Welcome, x3 Pubwius. 
What, >_> Bwutus, OwO awe xDD you stirr'd UwU so early xDD too? 
^-^ Good morrow, Casca. :3 Caius Ligarius, 
Caesaw UwU was ^w^ nye'ew UwU so much x3 youw ;;w;; enyemy 
;;w;; As :3 that same xDD ague which hath UwU made xDD you :3 wean. 
>_> What :3 is't >_< o'cwock? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU 'tis stwucken xDD eight. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw ^w^ pains ÚwÚ and uWu couwtesy. 

Entew Antony. 

:3 See, ;;w;; Antony, :3 that :3 wevews ^-^ wong ^.^ o' nyights, 
Is :3 nyotwithstanding :33 up. ^-^ Good morrow, Antony. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ So to UwU most x3 nyobwe Caesaw. 
:3 CAESAW. x3 Bid them >_> pwepawe x3 within. 
UwU I ^w^ am to uWu bwame to be OwO thus :33 waited ;;w;; fow. 
>_> Nyow, Cinnya; now, Metellus; x3 what, Trebonius, 
UwU I uWu have >w< an hour's tawk uWu in OwO stowe fow uWu you; 
ÚwÚ Wemembew :3 that xDD you caww on ;;w;; me uWu today; 
^w^ Be nyeaw uWu me, :3 that UwU I OwO may remember OwO you. 
TWEBONyIUS. ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU I :33 wiww. >_< [Aside.] xDD And UwU so nyeaw xDD wiww UwU I be 
:33 That x3 youw best ^w^ fwiends UwU shaww ÚwÚ wish UwU I xDD had :33 been fuwthew. 
:3 CAESAW. ^-^ Good OwO fwiends, OwO go uWu in ÚwÚ and >_> taste x3 some winye with uWu me, 
xDD And ^.^ we ^.^ wike ^w^ fwiends xDD wiww ^w^ stwaightway OwO go together. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< [Aside.] :33 That every ^.^ wike >_> is nyot x3 the same, x3 O ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
uWu The >_< heawt of Brutus yeawns to think :33 upon! :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A :3 stweet nyeaw x3 the Capitol. 

Entew ^w^ Awtemidowus, weading ^.^ papew. 

:33 AWTEMIDOWUS. :33 "Caesaw, UwU bewawe of Brutus; OwO take :3 heed of ;;w;; Cassius; come 
nyot nyeaw uWu Casca; uWu have >w< an ^w^ eye to Cinnya; :33 twust nyot >_> Twebonyius; mark 
weww :33 Metewwus OwO Cimbew; Decius Brutus loves uWu thee x3 nyot; xDD thou x3 hast 
;;w;; wwonged :3 Caius Wigawius. >_> Thewe >_> is >_> but one ^-^ mind uWu in aww these men, 
ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is UwU bent OwO against Caesaw. ;;w;; If xDD thou UwU beest nyot immortal, wook 
about OwO you. Security ;;w;; gives uWu way to conspiwacy. uWu The ^-^ mighty gods 
;;w;; defend uWu thee! 
x3 Thy ^.^ wuvw, xDD Awtemidowus." 
:3 Hewe xDD wiww UwU I stand >w< tiww Caesaw pass along, 
xDD And >_< as :3 a suitor xDD wiww UwU I UwU give ^.^ him UwU this. 
OwO My >_< heawt ^.^ waments :3 that viwtue ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ wive 
UwU Out of x3 the teeth of emulation. 
;;w;; If xDD thou ^w^ wead uWu this, x3 O ÚwÚ Caesaw, xDD thou :33 mayest ÚwÚ wive; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, x3 the :33 Fates with traitors UwU do x3 contwive. ÚwÚ Exit. 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the same stweet, >w< befowe x3 the ;;w;; house of Brutus. 

Entew :33 Powtia ÚwÚ and ^-^ Wucius. 

POWTIA. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ^-^ boy, >w< wun to x3 the :33 Senyate House; 
OwO Stay nyot to answew uWu me, >_> but get uWu thee ;;w;; gonye. 
Why dost xDD thou stay? 
WUCIUS. ;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 my uWu ewwand, UwU madam. 
POWTIA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD had uWu thee thewe, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe OwO again, 
Ere UwU I ^.^ can tell uWu thee >_> what xDD thou shouwdst UwU do :33 thewe. 
x3 O >_< constancy, be >w< stwong ;;w;; upon x3 my :33 side! 
Set :3 a >_> huge OwO mountain >_> 'tween x3 my >_< heawt ÚwÚ and >_< tongue! 
UwU I uWu have :3 a :33 man's UwU mind, >_> but :3 a xDD woman's ^.^ might. 
How x3 hawd >w< it >_> is fow x3 women to >_< keep >_< counsew! 
Awt xDD thou OwO hewe :33 yet? 
WUCIUS. uWu Madam, >_> what >_> shouwd UwU I ^-^ do? 
OwO Wun to x3 the Capitol, ÚwÚ and >_< nyothing else? 
xDD And UwU so ^-^ wetuwn to UwU you, ÚwÚ and >_< nyothing else? 
POWTIA. Yes, ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me word, ^-^ boy, >_> if >w< thy ;;w;; wowd wook weww, 
For ^.^ he OwO went >_> sickwy forth; ÚwÚ and OwO take ÚwÚ good ^-^ nyote 
>_> What Caesaw :3 doth, >_> what ^-^ suitows x3 pwess to ^.^ him. 
Hawk, ^-^ boy, >_> what noise >_> is ^-^ that? 
WUCIUS. UwU I hear nyonye, UwU madam. 
POWTIA. Prithee, xDD wisten well. 
UwU I heard :3 a bustwing wumow ^.^ wike :3 a fway, 
xDD And x3 the wind >_< bwings >w< it from x3 the Capitol. 
WUCIUS. xDD Sooth, UwU madam, UwU I hear OwO nyothing. 

Entew x3 the Soothsayer. 

POWTIA. :3 Come hithew, fellow; 
>_< Which uWu way x3 hast xDD thou been? 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. At >_< minye UwU own house, ÚwÚ good >_> wady. 
POWTIA. >_> What :3 is't >_< o'cwock? 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. About x3 the :3 nyinth ^-^ houw, >_> wady. 
POWTIA. Is Caesaw yet >_> gonye to x3 the xDD Capitow? 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. uWu Madam, nyot >_> yet. UwU I OwO go to OwO take x3 my stand 
;;w;; To >_> see ^.^ him pass on to x3 the Capitol. 
POWTIA. ^.^ Thou x3 hast x3 some >_> suit to ÚwÚ Caesaw, x3 hast xDD thou ^w^ nyot? 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. :33 That UwU I have, >_> wady. ;;w;; If >w< it xDD wiww uWu pwease Caesaw 
;;w;; To be UwU so ÚwÚ good to Caesaw >_< as to hear uWu me, 
UwU I UwU shaww :33 beseech ^.^ him to >_< befwiend himself. 
POWTIA. Why, ^w^ knyow'st xDD thou xDD any >_> hawm's :3 intended uWu towawds him? 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. ^-^ Nyonye :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD wiww be, much :3 that UwU I feaw OwO may >w< chance. 
^-^ Good mowwow to OwO you. :3 Hewe x3 the :3 stweet >_> is >_< nyawwow, 
uWu The :33 thwong :3 that xDD fowwows Caesaw uWu at x3 the heews, 
Of senyatows, of pwaetows, ^w^ common >_> suitows, 
Will ^-^ cwowd :3 a feebwe x3 man almost to death. 
I'll get ;;w;; me to :3 a :33 pwace ^.^ mowe >_< void ÚwÚ and there 
^w^ Speak to great Caesaw >_< as ^.^ he x3 comes >_> awong. ÚwÚ Exit. 
POWTIA. UwU I ^w^ must OwO go ^.^ in. uWu Ay uWu me, >w< how xDD weak :3 a ^.^ thing 
uWu The >_< heawt of OwO woman x3 is! x3 O >_> Bwutus, 
uWu The heavens ^w^ speed uWu thee uWu in ^.^ thinye enterprise! 
Sure, x3 the ;;w;; boy heard x3 me. Brutus hath :3 a >_> suit 
:33 That Caesaw xDD wiww nyot >w< gwant. >_< O, UwU I gwow ^.^ faint. 
Run, ^w^ Wucius, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to x3 my wowd; 
x3 Say UwU I ^w^ am x3 mewwy. :3 Come to ;;w;; me OwO again, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd >_> what ^.^ he xDD doth >_> say to thee. 
Exeunt x3 sevewawwy. 




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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^.^ Befowe x3 the Capitow; x3 the :33 Senyate :3 sitting abuv. 
^-^ A ^-^ cwowd of >_> peopwe, ^-^ among them Artemidorus ÚwÚ and x3 the Soothsayer. 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ÚwÚ Caesaw, >_> Bwutus, OwO Cassius, >w< Casca, ^-^ Decius, Metewwus, 
Trebonius, Cinnya, ;;w;; Antony, Wepidus, OwO Popiwius, Pubwius, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. 

:3 CAESAW. uWu The ides of March OwO awe x3 come. 
>w< SOOTHSAYEW. Ay, ÚwÚ Caesaw, >_> but nyot ;;w;; gonye. 
^-^ A >w< Haiw, :3 Caesaw! xDD Wead ÚwÚ this scheduwe. 
UwU DECIUS. ÚwÚ Twebonyius xDD doth ^.^ desiwe xDD you to ^-^ o'ew wead, 
At x3 youw best >_> weisuwe, ÚwÚ this :33 his humble OwO suit. 
:33 AWTEMIDOWUS. x3 O ÚwÚ Caesaw, ^w^ wead >_< minye ÚwÚ fiwst, fow mine's :3 a >_> suit 
:33 That >_> touches Caesaw >_> nyeawew. xDD Wead :33 it, great Caesaw. 
:3 CAESAW. >_> What >_> touches >_> us :3 ouwsewf UwU shaww be >w< wast ^w^ sewved. 
:33 AWTEMIDOWUS. ^-^ Deway >_> nyot, OwO Caesaw; ^w^ wead >w< it ^.^ instantwy. 
:3 CAESAW. What, >_> is x3 the fewwow uWu mad? 
:3 PUBWIUS. Siwwah, UwU give ;;w;; pwace. 
CASSIUS. What, urge xDD you x3 youw ^-^ petitions uWu in x3 the uWu stweet? 
:3 Come to x3 the Capitol. 

Caesaw xDD goes x3 up to x3 the :33 Senyate ;;w;; House, x3 the xDD west x3 fowwow. 

uWu POPIWIUS. UwU I ÚwÚ wish x3 youw uWu entewpwise today OwO may :33 thwive. 
CASSIUS. >_> What entewpwise, >_> Popiwius? 
uWu POPIWIUS. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
UwU Advances to Caesaw. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> What uWu said ^-^ Popiwius Wenya? 
CASSIUS. >w< He >w< wish'd today UwU ouw uWu entewpwise ^w^ might :33 thwive. 
UwU I feaw UwU ouw OwO puwpose >_> is discovered. 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 Wook, >w< how ^.^ he x3 makes to Caesaw. >_> Mawk ^.^ him. 
CASSIUS. >w< Casca, 
^w^ Be x3 sudden, fow ^.^ we feaw :3 pwevention. 
>_> Bwutus, >_> what UwU shaww be done? ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be ^-^ knyown, 
>w< Cassius ow Caesaw >_< nyevew UwU shaww turn back, 
For UwU I xDD wiww slay :3 mysewf. 
^w^ BWUTUS. OwO Cassius, be :33 constant. 
^-^ Popiwius Lena xDD speaks nyot of UwU ouw ;;w;; puwposes; 
For, look, ^.^ he >_> smiwes, ÚwÚ and Caesaw xDD doth nyot :3 change. 
CASSIUS. ÚwÚ Twebonyius xDD knyows :33 his time, for, wook UwU you, >_> Bwutus, 
>w< He ÚwÚ dwaws >_> Mawk OwO Antony x3 out of x3 the >_> way. 
Exeunt OwO Antony ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Twebonyius. 
UwU DECIUS. Whewe >_> is :33 Metewwus >w< Cimbew? Let ^.^ him 
xDD And presently prefer :33 his >_> suit to Caesaw. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< He >_> is addwess'd; x3 pwess nyeaw ÚwÚ and second ^.^ him. 
CINNA. >w< Casca, xDD you OwO awe x3 the xDD fiwst :3 that ^-^ weaws x3 youw >w< hand. 
:3 CAESAW. ^w^ Awe ^.^ we aww ^-^ weady? >_> What >_> is nyow uWu amiss 
:33 That Caesaw ÚwÚ and :33 his :33 Senyate ^w^ must >w< wedwess? 
METELLUS. :3 Most UwU high, UwU most x3 mighty, ÚwÚ and UwU most x3 puissant ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
:33 Metewwus OwO Cimbew ^w^ thwows >w< befowe >w< thy uWu seat 
^-^ An humble ;;w;; heawt. Kneels. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I ^w^ must ^w^ pwevent ÚwÚ thee, Cimbew. 
;;w;; These OwO couchings ÚwÚ and these ^-^ wowwy couwtesies 
^.^ Might fire x3 the :3 bwood of ordinary ;;w;; men 
xDD And turn :3 pweowdinyance ÚwÚ and xDD fiwst x3 decwee 
^.^ Into x3 the law of >_< chiwdwen. ^w^ Be nyot fond 
;;w;; To think :3 that Caesaw bears xDD such rebel :3 bwood 
:33 That xDD wiww be thaw'd from x3 the true ;;w;; quawity 
With :3 that which ÚwÚ mewteth foows- UwU I >_> mean x3 sweet wowds, 
:3 Wow-cwooked court'sies, ÚwÚ and UwU base spaniel-fawning. 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ by x3 decwee >_> is x3 banyished. 
;;w;; If xDD thou dost >w< bend ÚwÚ and pray ÚwÚ and ^-^ fawn fow :3 him, 
UwU I :33 spuwn uWu thee ^.^ wike :3 a cur x3 out of x3 my >_> way. 
Knyow, Caesaw xDD doth nyot wwong, nor ^-^ without cause 
Will ^.^ he be xDD satisfied. 
METELLUS. Is there nyo uWu voice ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ wowthy than x3 my OwO own, 
;;w;; To >_> sound ^.^ mowe sweetly uWu in great Caesar's ear 
For x3 the repealing of x3 my banyish'd bwothew? 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I :3 kiss >w< thy uWu hand, >_> but nyot uWu in flattery, ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
>_> Desiwing uWu thee :3 that UwU Pubwius OwO Cimbew OwO may 
:3 Have >w< an x3 immediate OwO fweedom of ;;w;; wepeaw. 
:3 CAESAW. What, OwO Bwutus? 
CASSIUS. Pawdon, :3 Caesaw! ÚwÚ Caesaw, >w< pawdon! 
;;w;; As wow >_< as to >w< thy :33 foot xDD doth >w< Cassius faww 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ beg enfranchisement fow UwU Pubwius Cimbew. 
:3 CAESAW. UwU I couwd be weww UwU muvd, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe >_< as uWu you; 
;;w;; If UwU I couwd pray to x3 muv, >_< pwayews ^.^ wouwd move OwO me; 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ constant >_< as x3 the ^w^ nyowthewn UwU staw, 
Of x3 whose >w< twue-fix'd ÚwÚ and resting ;;w;; quawity 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo fewwow uWu in x3 the ^-^ fiwmament. 
uWu The skies OwO awe painted with ^.^ unnyumbew'd spawks; 
^-^ They OwO awe aww fire ÚwÚ and every one xDD doth ÚwÚ shinye; 
OwO But there's >_> but one uWu in aww xDD doth howd :33 his ;;w;; pwace. 
^w^ So uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, UwU 'tis OwO fuwnyish'd weww with men, 
xDD And ;;w;; men OwO awe >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and bwood, ÚwÚ and apprehensive; 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu in x3 the ^w^ nyumbew UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow >_> but one 
:33 That unyassaiwabwe ÚwÚ howds on :33 his UwU wank, 
UwU Unshaked of >w< motion; ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU I ^w^ am xDD he, 
Let ;;w;; me :3 a xDD wittwe x3 show :33 it, even uWu in >_< this; 
:33 That UwU I UwU was ^w^ constant OwO Cimbew >_> shouwd be banish'd, 
xDD And ^w^ constant UwU do wemain to >_< keep ^.^ him :3 so. 
CINNA. x3 O >w< Caesaw- 
:3 CAESAW. :33 Hence! ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou lift x3 up ^.^ Owympus? 
UwU DECIUS. UwU Gweat >w< Caesaw- 
:3 CAESAW. ^-^ Doth nyot Brutus bootwess ;;w;; knyeew? 
CASCA. ÚwÚ Speak, ^.^ hands, fow me! 
>_< Casca ÚwÚ fiwst, xDD then x3 the othew Conspirators 
ÚwÚ and x3 Mawcus Brutus x3 stab Caesaw. 
:3 CAESAW. Et >_< tu, ^w^ Bwute?- UwU Then ^.^ faww, :3 Caesaw! >_< Dies. 
CINNA. :3 Wibewty! >_> Fweedom! Tyranny >_> is ÚwÚ dead! 
OwO Wun hence, ^-^ pwocwaim, cwy >w< it about x3 the stweets. 
CASSIUS. ;;w;; Some to x3 the ^w^ common puwpits ÚwÚ and cwy x3 out 
UwU "Wibewty, ^w^ fweedom, ÚwÚ and :3 enfwanchisement!" 
^w^ BWUTUS. Peopwe ÚwÚ and senyatows, be nyot affwighted, 
xDD Fwy >_> nyot, stand stiww; >_< ambition's >_> debt >_> is paid. 
CASCA. Go to x3 the pulpit, Brutus. 
UwU DECIUS. xDD And >w< Cassius UwU too. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Whewe's ^.^ Pubwius? 
CINNA. Here, quite confounded with ÚwÚ this mutiny. 
METELLUS. ;;w;; Stand ÚwÚ fast together, xDD west x3 some :33 fwiend of Caesar's 
Should :33 chance- 
^w^ BWUTUS. Talk nyot of standing. Pubwius, ÚwÚ good cheew, 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo x3 hawm :3 intended to x3 youw pewson, 
x3 Nyow to nyo Roman ewse. ^w^ So tell ÚwÚ them, x3 Pubwius. 
CASSIUS. xDD And OwO weave us, Pubwius, xDD west :3 that x3 the OwO peopwe 
;;w;; Wushing on >_> us >_> shouwd UwU do x3 youw age x3 some >w< mischief. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Do >_> so, ÚwÚ and wet nyo x3 man abide ÚwÚ this ^.^ deed 
OwO But ^.^ we x3 the ^-^ doews. 

^.^ We-entew ;;w;; Twebonyius. 

CASSIUS. Whewe >_> is Antony? 
TWEBONyIUS. >_< Fwed to :33 his ;;w;; house :3 amazed. 
Men, ^-^ wives, ÚwÚ and x3 chiwdwen ^-^ stawe, cwy ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and >w< wun 
;;w;; As >w< it :3 wewe OwO doomsday. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Fates, ^.^ we xDD wiww ^.^ knyow x3 youw xDD pweasuwes. 
:33 That ^.^ we UwU shaww >_> die, ^.^ we know; UwU 'tis >_> but x3 the time 
xDD And :3 dwawing OwO days x3 out :3 that ;;w;; men stand ^w^ upon. 
CASSIUS. Why, ^.^ he :3 that >w< cuts x3 off ÚwÚ twenty years of >w< wife 
^w^ Cuts x3 off UwU so UwU many years of feawing death. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Grant :3 that, ÚwÚ and xDD then >_> is :33 death :3 a >_> benyefit; 
^w^ So OwO awe ^.^ we Caesar's ^w^ fwiends :3 that uWu have abridged 
ÚwÚ His time of feawing death. ;;w;; Stoop, uWu Womans, ^w^ stoop, 
xDD And wet >_> us ^.^ bathe UwU ouw ^.^ hands uWu in Caesar's :3 bwood 
Up to x3 the ewbows, ÚwÚ and ^w^ besmeaw UwU ouw swowds; 
UwU Then UwU wawk ^.^ we ^-^ fowth, even to x3 the ÚwÚ mawketpwace, 
xDD And ^.^ waving UwU ouw red >_< weapons ^-^ o'ew UwU ouw >_< heads, 
:3 Wet's aww ^-^ cwy, UwU "Peace, ^w^ fweedom, ÚwÚ and >_> wibewty!" 
CASSIUS. ^-^ Stoop >w< then, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wash. How UwU many uWu ages >w< hence 
Shall ÚwÚ this UwU ouw wofty scene be OwO acted uvw 
^w^ In UwU states xDD unbown ÚwÚ and ;;w;; accents yet unknown! 
^w^ BWUTUS. How UwU many times UwU shaww Caesaw bweed uWu in sport, 
:33 That nyow on >_> Pompey's >_< basis wies :3 awong 
No wowthiew than x3 the x3 dust! 
CASSIUS. ^w^ So ;;w;; oft >_< as :3 that UwU shaww be, 
^w^ So often UwU shaww x3 the >_< knyot of >_> us be ^w^ caww'd 
uWu The ;;w;; men :3 that uWu gave uWu theiw countwy OwO wibewty. 
UwU DECIUS. What, UwU shaww ^.^ we uWu fowth? 
CASSIUS. Ay, every x3 man xDD away. 
Brutus UwU shaww wead, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww xDD gwace :33 his heels 
With x3 the UwU most boldest ÚwÚ and best heawts of xDD Wome. 

Entew :3 a ^.^ Sewvant. 

^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ Soft, who x3 comes hewe? ^-^ A :33 fwiend of >w< Antony's. 
SEWVANT. Thus, >_> Bwutus, uWu did x3 my >_< mastew bid ;;w;; me :33 knyeew, 
^-^ Thus uWu did >_> Mawk OwO Antony bid ;;w;; me faww ;;w;; down, 
^.^ And, ^.^ being OwO pwostwate, OwO thus ^.^ he ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me OwO say: 
Brutus >_> is noble, >_< wise, valiant, ÚwÚ and xDD honyest; 
Caesaw UwU was x3 mighty, >w< bowd, royal, ÚwÚ and ^w^ woving. 
x3 Say UwU I wuv Brutus ÚwÚ and UwU I honyow him; 
x3 Say UwU I feaw'd ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU honyow'd :3 him, ÚwÚ and xDD wuvd ^.^ him. 
;;w;; If Brutus xDD wiww x3 vouchsafe :3 that OwO Antony 
^-^ May >w< safewy come to ^.^ him ÚwÚ and be resolved 
How Caesaw hath deserved to >_< wie uWu in UwU death, 
>_> Mawk OwO Antony UwU shaww nyot wuv Caesaw >_< dead 
^w^ So weww >_< as Brutus >w< wiving, >_> but xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow 
uWu The fowtunyes ÚwÚ and affairs of x3 nyobwe Brutus 
Thowough x3 the ^w^ hazawds of ÚwÚ this :3 untwod >w< state 
With aww true ÚwÚ faith. ^w^ So ;;w;; says x3 my >_< mastew Antony. 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 Thy >_< mastew >_> is :3 a uWu wise ÚwÚ and uWu vawiant Roman; 
UwU I >_< nyevew xDD thought ^.^ him x3 wowse. 
Teww :3 him, UwU so uWu pwease ^.^ him come >w< unto ÚwÚ this pwace, 
>w< He UwU shaww be ^-^ satisfied x3 and, ^.^ by x3 my honyow, 
Depart uWu untouch'd. 
SEWVANT. I'll :3 fetch ^.^ him presently. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 that ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have ^.^ him weww to :3 fwiend. 
CASSIUS. UwU I ÚwÚ wish ^.^ we may, >_> but yet uWu have UwU I :3 a ^-^ mind 
:33 That OwO feaws ^.^ him ÚwÚ much, ÚwÚ and x3 my misgiving still 
Fawws >w< shwewdwy to x3 the puwpose. 

^.^ We-entew Antony. 

^w^ BWUTUS. OwO But OwO hewe x3 comes Antony. Welcome, >_> Mawk Antony. 
xDD ANTONY. x3 O ^-^ mighty :3 Caesaw! uWu Dost xDD thou >_< wie UwU so ^.^ wow? 
^w^ Awe aww >w< thy conquests, OwO gwowies, twiumphs, spoils, 
;;w;; Shwunk to ÚwÚ this xDD wittwe ^w^ measuwe? >w< Fawe uWu thee well. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, xDD gentwemen, >_> what xDD you >_> intend, 
Who >_> ewse ^w^ must be wet bwood, who >_> ewse >_> is :33 wank. 
;;w;; If UwU I myself, there >_> is nyo >_> houw UwU so ;;w;; fit 
;;w;; As Caesar's ^w^ death's ^-^ houw, nor nyo UwU instwument 
Of half :3 that ^.^ wowth >_< as UwU those x3 youw swowds, UwU made rich 
With x3 the UwU most x3 nyobwe :3 bwood of aww ÚwÚ this wowwd. 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech :3 ye, >_> if xDD you UwU beaw ;;w;; me hawd, 
>_> Nyow, whiwst x3 youw puwpwed ^.^ hands UwU do >_< week ÚwÚ and ^.^ smoke, 
:3 Fuwfiww x3 youw pleasure. Wive :3 a thousand years, 
UwU I UwU shaww nyot find mysewf UwU so ^-^ apt to :3 die; 
No :33 pwace xDD wiww uWu pwease ;;w;; me >_> so, nyo means of UwU death, 
;;w;; As OwO hewe ^.^ by ÚwÚ Caesaw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by xDD you :3 cut ^w^ off, 
uWu The UwU choice ÚwÚ and >_< mastew ;;w;; spiwits of ÚwÚ this age. 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 O ;;w;; Antony, ÚwÚ beg nyot x3 youw :33 death of ÚwÚ us! 
;;w;; Though nyow ^.^ we ^w^ must appeaw bwoody ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwuew, 
As, ^.^ by UwU ouw ^.^ hands ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this UwU ouw xDD pwesent ;;w;; act 
>_> You >_> see ^.^ we UwU do, yet >_> see xDD you >_> but UwU ouw ^.^ hands 
xDD And ÚwÚ this x3 the xDD bweeding business ;;w;; they uWu have ^-^ donye. 
Our heawts xDD you >_> see x3 nyot; ;;w;; they OwO awe :3 pitifuw; 
xDD And pity to x3 the general wrong of ^w^ Wome- 
;;w;; As fire drives x3 out ^w^ fiwe, UwU so pity ;;w;; pity- 
>_< Hath donye ÚwÚ this ^.^ deed on Caesaw. For x3 youw >_> pawt, 
;;w;; To xDD you UwU ouw :33 swowds uWu have weaden points, >_> Mawk uWu Antony; 
Our :3 awms uWu in ÚwÚ stwength of x3 mawice, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw heawts 
Of ^w^ bwothews' :33 tempew, UwU do receive xDD you uWu in 
With aww uWu kind xDD wuv, ÚwÚ good thoughts, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wevewence. 
CASSIUS. uWu Youw uWu voice UwU shaww be >_< as >w< stwong >_< as xDD any :33 man's 
^w^ In x3 the OwO disposing of x3 nyew ;;w;; dignyities. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Onwy be patient >w< tiww ^.^ we uWu have :3 appeased 
uWu The >_< muwtitude, :3 beside x3 themsewves with ;;w;; feaw, 
xDD And xDD then ^.^ we xDD wiww ÚwÚ dewivew xDD you x3 the cause 
Why I, :3 that uWu did wuv Caesaw when UwU I >w< stwuck :3 him, 
:3 Have OwO thus >w< pwoceeded. 
xDD ANTONY. UwU I doubt nyot of x3 youw wisdom. 
Let >_< each x3 man render ;;w;; me :33 his bwoody >w< hand. 
^.^ Fiwst, x3 Mawcus >_> Bwutus, xDD wiww UwU I ;;w;; shake with uWu you; 
uWu Nyext, :3 Caius OwO Cassius, UwU do UwU I OwO take x3 youw xDD hand; 
>_> Nyow, Decius >_> Bwutus, OwO youws; nyow >_< youws, Metellus; 
OwO Youws, Cinnya; x3 and, x3 my uWu vawiant >w< Casca, OwO youws; 
;;w;; Though last, nyot least uWu in xDD wuv, >_< youws, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; Twebonyius. 
^.^ Gentwemen ;;w;; aww- :3 awas, >_> what UwU shaww UwU I ^.^ say? 
OwO My cwedit nyow >w< stands on xDD such slippery ground, 
:33 That one of >w< two :33 bad ways xDD you ^w^ must conceit uWu me, 
^-^ Eithew :3 a x3 cowawd ow :3 a flatterer. 
:33 That UwU I uWu did wuv ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ Caesaw, >_< O, UwU 'tis ^-^ twue! 
;;w;; If xDD then >w< thy ^w^ spiwit wook ;;w;; upon >_> us now, 
Shall >w< it nyot UwU gwieve uWu thee ÚwÚ deawew than >w< thy :33 death 
;;w;; To >_> see >w< thy OwO Antony x3 making :33 his ÚwÚ peace, 
:33 Shaking x3 the bwoody x3 fingews of >w< thy ;;w;; foes, 
:3 Most nyobwe! ^w^ In x3 the x3 pwesence of >w< thy corse? 
xDD Had UwU I >_< as UwU many eyes >_< as xDD thou x3 hast ;;w;; wounds, 
Weeping >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as ;;w;; they stweam fowth >w< thy bwood, 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd :33 become ;;w;; me xDD bettew than to ^-^ cwose 
^w^ In terms of ÚwÚ fwiendship with ^.^ thinye enemies. 
^w^ Pawdon uWu me, ^.^ Juwius! :3 Hewe >w< wast xDD thou bay'd, >_< bwave >_< hawt, 
:3 Hewe :33 didst xDD thou ^.^ faww, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe >w< thy huntews x3 stand, 
^.^ Sign'd uWu in >w< thy xDD spoiw, ÚwÚ and :3 cwimson'd uWu in >w< thy Wethe. 
x3 O ^w^ wowwd, xDD thou >w< wast x3 the >_< fowest to ÚwÚ this >_< hawt, 
xDD And uWu this, :33 indeed, x3 O ^w^ wowwd, x3 the >_< heawt of thee. 
How ^.^ wike :3 a >w< deew stwucken ^.^ by UwU many pwinces 
uWu Dost xDD thou OwO hewe lie! 
CASSIUS. >_> Mawk ^-^ Antony- 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, :3 Caius UwU Cassius. 
uWu The >_< enyemies of Caesaw UwU shaww >_> say :33 this: 
Then, uWu in :3 a fwiend, >w< it >_> is UwU cowd OwO modesty. 
CASSIUS. UwU I uWu bwame xDD you nyot fow pwaising Caesaw so; 
OwO But >_> what compact >_> mean xDD you to uWu have with us? 
Will xDD you be pwick'd uWu in ^w^ nyumbew of UwU ouw OwO fwiends, 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ^.^ we ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and nyot :3 depend on you? 
xDD ANTONY. Therefore UwU I >_> took x3 youw ^.^ hands, >_> but UwU was ÚwÚ indeed 
:33 Sway'd from x3 the :33 point ^.^ by ^w^ wooking down on Caesaw. 
Fwiends ^w^ am UwU I with xDD you aww ÚwÚ and wuv xDD you all, 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this UwU hope :3 that xDD you UwU shaww UwU give ;;w;; me weasons 
Why ÚwÚ and wherein Caesaw UwU was :33 dangewous. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :33 Ow >_> ewse :3 wewe ÚwÚ this :3 a x3 savage x3 spectacwe. 
Our weasons OwO awe UwU so full of ÚwÚ good regard 
:33 That :3 wewe UwU you, ;;w;; Antony, x3 the >_< son of ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
>_> You >_> shouwd be xDD satisfied. 
xDD ANTONY. >w< That's aww UwU I seek; 
xDD And ^w^ am moweuvw suitor :3 that UwU I OwO may 
UwU Pwoduce :33 his >w< body to x3 the ÚwÚ mawketpwace, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the pulpit, >_< as x3 becomes :3 a fwiend, 
^w^ Speak uWu in x3 the order of :33 his ^-^ funyewaw. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> You UwU shaww, >_> Mawk Antony. 
CASSIUS. >_> Bwutus, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
^-^ [Aside to ^.^ Bwutus.] >_> You ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what xDD you xDD do. Do nyot >_< consent 
:33 That OwO Antony speak uWu in :33 his ^-^ funyewaw. 
xDD Knyow xDD you >w< how much x3 the OwO peopwe OwO may be ^-^ muvd 
^-^ By :3 that which ^.^ he xDD wiww utter? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ By x3 youw pardon, 
UwU I xDD wiww mysewf x3 into x3 the uWu puwpit ÚwÚ fiwst, 
xDD And x3 show x3 the reason of UwU ouw Caesar's death. 
>_> What OwO Antony UwU shaww :3 speak, UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ pwotest 
>w< He xDD speaks ^.^ by OwO weave ÚwÚ and ^.^ by permission, 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe UwU contented Caesaw UwU shaww 
:3 Have aww true rites ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wawfuw ^-^ cewemonyies. 
^.^ It UwU shaww ^w^ advantage ^.^ mowe than UwU do >_> us wrong. 
CASSIUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what OwO may uWu faww; UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it not. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> Mawk ;;w;; Antony, UwU hewe, OwO take xDD you Caesar's body. 
>_> You UwU shaww nyot uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; funyewaw ÚwÚ speech uWu bwame us, 
OwO But speak aww ÚwÚ good xDD you ^.^ can >w< devise of ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
xDD And >_> say xDD you do't ^.^ by UwU ouw permission, 
^-^ Ewse UwU shaww xDD you nyot uWu have xDD any uWu hand uWu at aww 
About :33 his ^-^ funyewaw. xDD And xDD you UwU shaww speak 
^w^ In x3 the same uWu puwpit ^w^ wheweto UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ going, 
>w< Aftew x3 my ÚwÚ speech >_> is ended. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ Be >w< it >_> so, 
UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe nyo more. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Pwepawe x3 the >w< body >w< then, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowwow >_> us. 
Exeunt aww >_> but Antony. 
xDD ANTONY. >_< O, UwU pawdon uWu me, xDD thou xDD bweeding ^.^ piece of earth, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am >_> meek ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe with these butchers! 
^.^ Thou awt x3 the ruins of x3 the uWu nyobwest x3 man 
:33 That OwO evew >_< wived uWu in x3 the >_< tide of times. 
;;w;; Woe to x3 the uWu hand :3 that x3 shed ÚwÚ this x3 costwy UwU bwood! 
Over >w< thy wounds nyow UwU do UwU I >w< pwophesy 
>w< (Which ^.^ wike UwU dumb mouths UwU do ^w^ ope uWu theiw ruby lips 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ beg x3 the uWu voice ÚwÚ and :3 uttewance of x3 my OwO tongue) 
^-^ A UwU cuwse UwU shaww >w< wight ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 wimbs of ÚwÚ men; 
Domestic UwU fuwy ÚwÚ and >_< fiewce ÚwÚ civiw uWu stwife 
Shall cumber aww x3 the parts of >w< Itawy; 
Blood ÚwÚ and >w< destwuction UwU shaww be UwU so uWu in ^.^ use, 
xDD And :3 dweadfuw xDD objects UwU so ^w^ famiwiaw, 
:33 That mothews UwU shaww >_> but ;;w;; smiwe when ;;w;; they behowd 
^-^ Theiw UwU infants quawtew'd with x3 the ^.^ hands of UwU waw; 
All pity ^.^ choked with ;;w;; custom of UwU feww uWu deeds, 
xDD And Caesar's ^w^ spiwit xDD wanging fow UwU wevenge, 
With Ate ^.^ by :33 his x3 side come :3 hot from >_> heww, 
Shall uWu in these confines with :3 a monarch's uWu voice 
Cwy UwU "Havoc!" ÚwÚ and wet swip x3 the ^.^ dogs of waw, 
:33 That ÚwÚ this fouw ^.^ deed UwU shaww smell :33 abuv x3 the ^.^ eawth 
With OwO cawwion men, ;;w;; gwoanying fow OwO buwiaw. 

Entew :3 a ^.^ Sewvant. 

>_> You serve Octavius ÚwÚ Caesaw, UwU do xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
SEWVANT. UwU I UwU do, >_> Mawk Antony. 
xDD ANTONY. Caesaw uWu did >w< wwite fow ^.^ him to come to xDD Wome. 
SEWVANT. >w< He uWu did receive :33 his letters, ÚwÚ and >_> is uWu coming, 
xDD And bid ;;w;; me >_> say to xDD you ^.^ by ;;w;; wowd of mouth- 
x3 O :3 Caesaw! ^.^ Sees x3 the body. 
xDD ANTONY. x3 Thy >_< heawt >_> is *cries* big; get uWu thee UwU apawt ÚwÚ and >_> weep. 
>_> Passion, UwU I see, >_> is catching, fow >_< minye ^w^ eyes, 
x3 Seeing UwU those beads of sorrow stand uWu in xDD thinye, 
:3 Began to >_> watew. Is >w< thy >_< mastew :33 coming? 
SEWVANT. >w< He wies :3 tonyight within ÚwÚ seven x3 weagues of xDD Wome. 
xDD ANTONY. :33 Post back with ^w^ speed ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him >_> what hath chanced. 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a >w< mouwnying ^w^ Wome, :3 a uWu dangewous ^w^ Wome, 
No ÚwÚ Wome of :33 safety fow Octavius :33 yet; 
Hie hence, ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him :3 so. ÚwÚ Yet xDD stay awhiwe, 
^.^ Thou shalt nyot back >w< tiww UwU I uWu have :3 bownye ÚwÚ this cowse 
^.^ Into x3 the ;;w;; mawketpwace. >_> Thewe UwU shaww UwU I ;;w;; twy, 
^w^ In x3 my ÚwÚ owation, >w< how x3 the OwO peopwe OwO take 
uWu The UwU cwuew x3 issue of these bwoody men, 
x3 Accowding to x3 the which xDD thou shalt uWu discouwse 
;;w;; To xDD young Octavius of x3 the >w< state of xDD things. 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. Exeunt with Caesar's body. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The Fowum. 

Entew Brutus ÚwÚ and OwO Cassius, ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 thwong of uWu Citizens. 

>_> CITIZENS. We xDD wiww be ÚwÚ satisfied! Let >_> us be ÚwÚ satisfied! 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Then ;;w;; fowwow ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and UwU give ;;w;; me uWu audience, fwiends. 
OwO Cassius, OwO go xDD you x3 into x3 the othew :3 stweet 
xDD And ÚwÚ pawt x3 the nyumbews. 
>w< Those :3 that xDD wiww hear ;;w;; me :3 speak, wet x3 'em xDD stay ^.^ hewe; 
>w< Those :3 that xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow OwO Cassius, OwO go with him; 
xDD And public weasons UwU shaww be wendewed 
Of Caesar's death. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. UwU I xDD wiww hear Brutus >_< speak. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. UwU I xDD wiww hear >w< Cassius ÚwÚ and compare uWu theiw ^w^ weasons, 
x3 When uWu sevewawwy ^.^ we hear them rendered. 
uWu Exit OwO Cassius, with x3 some uWu Citizens. 
Brutus xDD goes x3 into x3 the ÚwÚ puwpit. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu The x3 nyobwe Brutus >_> is ascended. Silence! 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^w^ Be patient >w< tiww x3 the last. 
uWu Womans, ÚwÚ countwymen, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wuvws! >w< Heaw ;;w;; me fow x3 my >_< cause, ÚwÚ and be 
siwent, :3 that xDD you OwO may heaw. :3 Bewieve ;;w;; me fow >_< minye honyow, ÚwÚ and uWu have 
wespect to >_< minye honyow, :3 that xDD you OwO may :3 bewieve. x3 Censuwe ;;w;; me uWu in x3 youw 
wisdom, ÚwÚ and awake x3 youw ^-^ senses, :3 that xDD you OwO may x3 the xDD bettew ^-^ judge. ;;w;; If 
there be xDD any uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; assembwy, xDD any uWu deaw :33 fwiend of Caesar's, to 
^.^ him UwU I >_> say :3 that ^-^ Bwutus' wuv to Caesaw UwU was nyo less than ÚwÚ his. ;;w;; If 
xDD then :3 that :33 fwiend ;;w;; demand >w< why Brutus wose OwO against ÚwÚ Caesaw, ÚwÚ this >_> is 
x3 my :33 answew: ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that UwU I xDD wuvd Caesaw UwU wess, >_> but :3 that UwU I xDD wuvd ÚwÚ Wome 
more. xDD Had xDD you rather Caesaw :3 wewe UwU wiving ÚwÚ and ^-^ die aww swaves, than 
:3 that Caesaw :3 wewe >_< dead to ^w^ wive aww ^-^ fweemen? ;;w;; As Caesaw xDD wuvd uWu me, UwU I 
xDD weep fow him; >_< as ^.^ he UwU was fortunate, UwU I rejoice uWu at uWu it; >_< as ^.^ he UwU was 
valiant, UwU I honyow him; >_> but >_< as ^.^ he UwU was ^.^ ambitious, UwU I >_< swew ^.^ him. >_> Thewe 
>_> is tears fow :33 his xDD wuv, joy fow :33 his fowtunye, honyow fow :33 his ^w^ vawow, 
ÚwÚ and :33 death fow :33 his ^.^ ambition. Who >_> is OwO hewe UwU so UwU base :3 that ^.^ wouwd be :3 a 
ÚwÚ bondman? ;;w;; If uWu any, :3 speak, fow ^.^ him uWu have UwU I ^.^ offended. Who >_> is OwO hewe UwU so 
wude :3 that ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 a uWu Woman? ;;w;; If uWu any, :3 speak, fow ^.^ him uWu have UwU I 
^.^ offended. Who >_> is OwO hewe UwU so ^-^ viwe :3 that xDD wiww nyot wuv :33 his country? ;;w;; If 
uWu any, :3 speak, fow ^.^ him uWu have UwU I ^.^ offended. UwU I :3 pause fow :3 a wepwy. 
uWu AWW. ÚwÚ Nyonye, >_> Bwutus, none. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Then >_< nyonye uWu have UwU I ^.^ offended. UwU I uWu have donye nyo ^.^ mowe to Caesaw 
than xDD you UwU shaww UwU do to Brutus. uWu The ;;w;; question of :33 his :33 death >_> is 
>_> enwowwed uWu in x3 the Capitol, :33 his :3 gwowy nyot extenyuated, wherein ^.^ he UwU was 
wowthy, nor :33 his x3 offenses x3 enfowced, fow which ^.^ he suffered death. 

Entew OwO Antony ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, with Caesar's body. 

:3 Hewe x3 comes :33 his ;;w;; body, >w< mouwnyed ^.^ by >_> Mawk ;;w;; Antony, who, ^w^ though ^.^ he xDD had 
nyo uWu hand uWu in :33 his UwU death, UwU shaww receive x3 the ^-^ benyefit of :33 his ÚwÚ dying, :3 a 
:33 pwace uWu in x3 the commonwealth, >_< as which of xDD you UwU shaww ^w^ nyot? With ÚwÚ this UwU I 
:33 depawt- :3 that, >_< as UwU I >_< swew x3 my best wuvw fow x3 the ÚwÚ good of ^w^ Wome, UwU I 
uWu have x3 the same ÚwÚ daggew fow myself, when >w< it UwU shaww uWu pwease x3 my countwy 
to >_< nyeed x3 my death. 
uWu AWW. Wive, >_> Bwutus, x3 wive, x3 wive! 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Bring ^.^ him with twiumph ^.^ home >w< unto :33 his ÚwÚ house. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. Give ^.^ him :3 a statue with :33 his ÚwÚ ancestows. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. Let ^.^ him be Caesaw. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. Caesar's xDD bettew parts 
Shall be cwown'd uWu in Brutus. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ We'ww ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to :33 his ;;w;; house with ^w^ shouts ÚwÚ and 
clamors. 
^w^ BWUTUS. OwO My :33 countwymen- 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ;;w;; Peace! Silence! Brutus speaks. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu Peace, ho! 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ countwymen, wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ depawt ^-^ awonye, 
^.^ And, fow x3 my ^w^ sake, xDD stay OwO hewe with Antony. 
Do xDD gwace to Caesar's :33 cowse, ÚwÚ and xDD gwace :33 his ÚwÚ speech 
:33 Tending to Caesar's OwO gwowies, which >_> Mawk ;;w;; Antony, 
^-^ By UwU ouw permission, >_> is UwU awwow'd to >_> make. 
UwU I UwU do entweat UwU you, nyot :3 a x3 man depart, 
:3 Save UwU I ^-^ awonye, >w< tiww OwO Antony uWu have >_> spoke. ÚwÚ Exit. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Stay, :3 ho, ÚwÚ and wet >_> us hear >_> Mawk Antony. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. Let ^.^ him OwO go x3 up x3 into x3 the public >_< chaiw; 
^-^ We'ww hear ^.^ him. Noble ;;w;; Antony, OwO go :33 up. 
xDD ANTONY. For ^-^ Bwutus' ^w^ sake, UwU I ^w^ am beholding to OwO you. 
x3 Goes x3 into x3 the ÚwÚ puwpit. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_> What does ^.^ he >_> say of OwO Bwutus? 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< He says, fow ^-^ Bwutus' ^w^ sake, 
>w< He ÚwÚ finds >_< himsewf beholding to >_> us all. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu 'Twewe best ^.^ he speak nyo x3 hawm of Brutus hewe. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. This Caesaw UwU was :3 a tywant. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. Nyay, ^w^ that's cewtain. 
We OwO awe bwest :3 that ÚwÚ Wome >_> is x3 wid of ^.^ him. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ;;w;; Peace! Let >_> us hear >_> what OwO Antony ^.^ can :3 say. 
xDD ANTONY. >_> You ^-^ gentwe Womans- 
uWu AWW. uWu Peace, ho! Let >_> us hear ^.^ him. 
xDD ANTONY. Friends, uWu Womans, ÚwÚ countwymen, xDD wend ;;w;; me x3 youw ÚwÚ eaws! 
UwU I come to ^.^ buwy ÚwÚ Caesaw, nyot to praise ^.^ him. 
uWu The eviw :3 that ;;w;; men UwU do ;;w;; wives ÚwÚ aftew ÚwÚ them, 
uWu The ÚwÚ good >_> is ;;w;; oft :3 intewwed with uWu theiw bones; 
^w^ So wet >w< it be with Caesaw. uWu The x3 nyobwe Brutus 
>_< Hath told xDD you Caesaw UwU was :33 ambitious; 
;;w;; If >w< it :3 wewe >_> so, >w< it UwU was :3 a ;;w;; gwievous ^w^ fauwt, 
xDD And UwU gwievouswy hath Caesaw x3 answew'd :3 it. 
Here, :33 undew OwO weave of Brutus ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< west- 
For Brutus >_> is >w< an ;;w;; honyowabwe xDD man; 
^w^ So OwO awe ;;w;; they all, aww ;;w;; honyowabwe UwU men- 
:3 Come UwU I to speak uWu in Caesar's ^-^ funyewaw. 
>w< He UwU was x3 my fwiend, faithfuw ÚwÚ and >w< just to OwO me; 
OwO But Brutus ;;w;; says ^.^ he UwU was ^.^ ambitious, 
xDD And Brutus >_> is >w< an ;;w;; honyowabwe man. 
>w< He hath ^.^ bwought UwU many captives ^.^ home to ^w^ Wome, 
>_< Whose :33 wansoms uWu did x3 the general >_< coffews x3 fiww. 
Did ÚwÚ this uWu in Caesaw xDD seem ambitious? 
x3 When :3 that x3 the poor uWu have cwied, Caesaw hath wept; 
:3 Ambition >_> shouwd be UwU made of sterner :33 stuff: 
ÚwÚ Yet Brutus ;;w;; says ^.^ he UwU was ^.^ ambitious, 
xDD And Brutus >_> is >w< an ;;w;; honyowabwe man. 
>_> You aww uWu did >_> see :3 that on x3 the Lupercal 
UwU I thrice pwesented ^.^ him :3 a >_> kingwy :3 cwown, 
>_< Which ^.^ he uWu did thrice refuse. Was ÚwÚ this ^.^ ambition? 
ÚwÚ Yet Brutus ;;w;; says ^.^ he UwU was ^.^ ambitious, 
xDD And >_< suwe ^.^ he >_> is >w< an ;;w;; honyowabwe man. 
UwU I speak nyot to dispwuv >_> what Brutus ;;w;; spoke, 
OwO But OwO hewe UwU I ^w^ am to speak >_> what UwU I UwU do :33 knyow. 
>_> You aww uWu did wuv ^.^ him ^w^ once, nyot ^-^ without cause; 
>_> What cause ÚwÚ withhowds xDD you xDD then to mouwn fow him? 
x3 O ^w^ judgement, xDD thou awt ^w^ fwed to ÚwÚ bwutish xDD beasts, 
xDD And ;;w;; men uWu have wost uWu theiw reason. ÚwÚ Beaw with OwO me; 
OwO My >_< heawt >_> is uWu in x3 the UwU coffin there with ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ must :3 pause >w< tiww >w< it come back to x3 me. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Methinks there >_> is much reason uWu in :33 his x3 sayings. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ;;w;; If xDD thou OwO considew rightly of x3 the >w< mattew, 
Caesaw >_> has xDD had great wrong. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 Has xDD he, >_> mastews? 
UwU I feaw there xDD wiww :3 a xDD wowse come uWu in :33 his ;;w;; pwace. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_< Mawk'd OwO ye :33 his xDD wowds? >w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO take x3 the >_< cwown; 
Therefore UwU 'tis xDD cewtain ^.^ he UwU was nyot UwU ambitious. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ;;w;; If >w< it be >_> found >_> so, x3 some xDD wiww uWu deaw abide :3 it. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. OwO Poow x3 souw, :33 his eyes OwO awe red >_< as fire with ^.^ weeping. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_> Thewe's nyot :3 a >w< nyobwew x3 man uWu in ÚwÚ Wome than Antony. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. Now mark :3 him, ^.^ he ÚwÚ begins again to >_< speak. 
xDD ANTONY. OwO But ;;w;; yestewday x3 the ;;w;; wowd of Caesaw ^w^ might 
:3 Have :33 stood OwO against x3 the wowwd. Now wies ^.^ he thewe, 
xDD And >_< nyonye UwU so poor to UwU do ^.^ him ^w^ wevewence. 
x3 O ;;w;; mastews! ;;w;; If UwU I :3 wewe disposed to stir 
uWu Youw heawts ÚwÚ and minds to mutiny ÚwÚ and rage, 
UwU I >_> shouwd UwU do Brutus wrong ÚwÚ and >w< Cassius wwong, 
UwU Who, xDD you aww knyow, OwO awe ;;w;; honyowabwe ^.^ men. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU do them >_> wwong; UwU I rather choose 
;;w;; To wrong x3 the >_< dead, to wrong mysewf ÚwÚ and UwU you, 
Than UwU I xDD wiww wrong xDD such ;;w;; honyowabwe ^.^ men. 
OwO But hewe's :3 a pawchment with x3 the UwU seaw of OwO Caesaw; 
UwU I >_> found >w< it uWu in :33 his closet, UwU 'tis :33 his :33 wiww. 
Let >_> but x3 the >w< commons hear ÚwÚ this ^w^ testament- 
>_< Which, UwU pawdon uWu me, UwU I UwU do nyot >_> mean to ^-^ wead- 
xDD And ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd OwO go ÚwÚ and :3 kiss >_< dead Caesar's wounds 
xDD And ^.^ dip uWu theiw napkins uWu in :33 his uWu sacwed bwood, 
Yea, ÚwÚ beg :3 a >_< haiw of ^.^ him fow xDD memowy, 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ dying, >w< mention >w< it within uWu theiw wiwws, 
>_< Bequeathing >w< it >_< as :3 a rich wegacy 
uWu Unto uWu theiw UwU issue. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ We'ww hear x3 the :33 wiww. xDD Wead :33 it, >_> Mawk Antony. 
uWu AWW. uWu The :33 wiww, x3 the will! We xDD wiww hear Caesar's :33 wiww. 
xDD ANTONY. :3 Have patience, ^-^ gentwe OwO fwiends, UwU I ^w^ must nyot ^w^ wead uWu it; 
^.^ It >_> is nyot :3 meet xDD you ^.^ knyow >w< how Caesaw xDD wuvd OwO you. 
>_> You OwO awe nyot wood, xDD you OwO awe nyot ^w^ stonyes, >_> but ÚwÚ men; 
^.^ And, ^.^ being men, hearing x3 the xDD wiww of ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
^.^ It xDD wiww uWu infwame UwU you, >w< it xDD wiww >_< make xDD you >_> mad. 
'Tis ÚwÚ good xDD you ^.^ knyow nyot :3 that xDD you OwO awe :33 his >_> heiws, 
For >_> if xDD you should, >_< O, >_> what ^.^ wouwd come of :3 it! 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. xDD Wead x3 the :33 wiww; we'll hear :33 it, Antony. 
>_> You UwU shaww ^w^ wead >_> us x3 the :33 wiww, Caesar's :33 wiww. 
xDD ANTONY. Will xDD you be uWu patient? Will xDD you xDD stay awhiwe? 
UwU I uWu have o'ershot mysewf to tell xDD you of :3 it. 
UwU I feaw UwU I wrong x3 the ;;w;; honyowabwe ;;w;; men 
>_< Whose ÚwÚ daggews uWu have stabb'd OwO Caesaw; UwU I UwU do feaw :3 it. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ They :3 wewe twaitows. :33 Honyowabwe :3 men! 
uWu AWW. uWu The will! uWu The testament! 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ They :3 wewe >_> viwwains, muwthewews. uWu The will! 
xDD Wead x3 the will! 
xDD ANTONY. >_> You xDD wiww compel ;;w;; me xDD then to ^w^ wead x3 the xDD wiww? 
UwU Then >_< make :3 a OwO wing about x3 the cowse of ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me x3 show xDD you ^.^ him :3 that UwU made x3 the :33 wiww. 
Shall UwU I UwU descend? xDD And xDD wiww xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me weave? 
uWu AWW. :3 Come down. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ Descend. 
>w< He x3 comes down from x3 the ÚwÚ puwpit. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_> You UwU shaww uWu have >_< weave. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ A *hugs tightly* wing, stand wound. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ;;w;; Stand from x3 the :3 heawse, stand from x3 the body. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. Room fow ;;w;; Antony, UwU most x3 nyobwe Antony. 
xDD ANTONY. Nyay, x3 pwess nyot UwU so ;;w;; upon uWu me, stand uWu faw off. 
uWu AWW. ;;w;; Stand back; room, UwU beaw >_> back! 
xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; If xDD you uWu have ^-^ teaws, >_> pwepawe to x3 shed them now. 
>_> You aww UwU do ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this mantle. UwU I remember 
uWu The xDD fiwst time OwO evew Caesaw put >w< it xDD on; 
>_< 'Twas on :3 a :33 summew's xDD evenying, uWu in :33 his x3 tent, 
:33 That day ^.^ he overcame x3 the Nervii. 
x3 Wook, uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 pwace wan uWu Cassius' ÚwÚ daggew through; 
xDD See >_> what :3 a OwO went x3 the envious >_< Casca ÚwÚ made; 
^.^ Thwough ÚwÚ this x3 the >_> weww-bewuvd Brutus :3 stabb'd; 
xDD And >_< as ^.^ he ^w^ pwuck'd :33 his uWu cuwsed steew away, 
>_> Mawk >w< how x3 the :3 bwood of Caesaw follow'd :33 it, 
;;w;; As uWu wushing x3 out of doows, to be resolved 
;;w;; If Brutus UwU so unkindly knyock'd, ow ^.^ nyo; 
For >_> Bwutus, >_< as xDD you knyow, UwU was Caesar's OwO angew. 
UwU Judge, x3 O xDD you uWu gods, >w< how ÚwÚ deawwy Caesaw xDD wuvd x3 him! 
This UwU was x3 the UwU most unkindest :3 cut of aww; 
For when x3 the x3 nyobwe Caesaw saw ^.^ him >_< stab, 
;;w;; Ingwatitude, ^.^ mowe >w< stwong than >_> twaitows' awms, 
>_< Quite >_< vanquish'd ^.^ him. UwU Then burst :33 his ^-^ mighty uWu heawt, 
^.^ And, uWu in :33 his ^-^ mantwe >_> muffwing x3 up :33 his >w< face, 
Even uWu at x3 the UwU base of >_> Pompey's statue, 
>_< Which aww x3 the OwO whiwe wan bwood, great Caesaw x3 feww. 
>_< O, >_> what :3 a faww UwU was thewe, x3 my ;;w;; countwymen! 
UwU Then I, ÚwÚ and UwU you, ÚwÚ and aww of >_> us UwU feww ;;w;; down, 
Whilst bwoody UwU tweason ^.^ fwouwish'd uvw >_> us. 
>_< O, nyow xDD you >_> weep, ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> pewceive xDD you x3 feew 
uWu The ^.^ dint of >_> pity. ;;w;; These OwO awe >_> gwacious ^.^ dwops. 
Kind souws, >_> what xDD weep xDD you when xDD you >_> but behowd 
Our Caesar's ^.^ vestuwe wounded? Wook xDD you UwU hewe, 
:3 Hewe >_> is himsewf, x3 maww'd, >_< as xDD you see, with twaitows. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 O ^.^ piteous ^-^ spectacwe! 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 O x3 nyobwe :3 Caesaw! 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 O ^.^ woefuw ^.^ day! 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 O traitors viwwains! 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 O UwU most bwoody ;;w;; sight! 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. We xDD wiww be revenged. 
uWu AWW. Revenge! About! uWu Seek! Burn! >_< Fiwe! Kill! 
Slay! Let nyot :3 a traitor x3 wive! 
xDD ANTONY. Stay, uWu countwymen. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. :3 Peace thewe! >w< Heaw x3 the x3 nyobwe Antony. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ We'ww hear :3 him, we'll ;;w;; fowwow :3 him, we'll ^-^ die with 
^.^ him. 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ Good OwO fwiends, x3 sweet OwO fwiends, wet ;;w;; me nyot stir xDD you x3 up 
;;w;; To xDD such :3 a ^.^ sudden flood of mutiny. 
^-^ They :3 that uWu have donye ÚwÚ this ^.^ deed OwO awe x3 honyowabwe. 
>_> What >_> pwivate griefs ;;w;; they have, :3 awas, UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, 
:33 That UwU made them UwU do :3 it. ^-^ They OwO awe uWu wise ÚwÚ and honorable, 
xDD And :33 wiww, nyo doubt, with weasons answew OwO you. 
UwU I come >_> nyot, OwO fwiends, to ^.^ steaw OwO away x3 youw >w< heawts. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyo orator, >_< as Brutus is; 
But, >_< as xDD you ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me all, :3 a uWu pwain >w< bwunt ^w^ man, 
:33 That wuv x3 my fwiend, ÚwÚ and :3 that ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow full weww 
:33 That uWu gave ;;w;; me public OwO weave to speak of ^.^ him. 
For UwU I uWu have :3 nyeithew ^w^ wit, nor wowds, nor ^.^ wowth, 
;;w;; Action, nor utterance, nor x3 the powew of ;;w;; speech, 
;;w;; To stir men's blood. UwU I >w< onwy speak >w< wight xDD on; 
UwU I tell xDD you :3 that which xDD you youwsewves UwU do know; 
uWu Show xDD you x3 sweet Caesar's ;;w;; wounds, poor UwU dumb ^w^ mouths, 
xDD And bid them speak fow x3 me. OwO But :3 wewe UwU I >_> Bwutus, 
xDD And Brutus ;;w;; Antony, there :3 wewe >w< an OwO Antony 
Wouwd ruffle x3 up x3 youw ;;w;; spiwits ÚwÚ and put :3 a >_> tongue 
^w^ In every ;;w;; wound of Caesaw :3 that >_> shouwd move 
uWu The ^.^ stonyes of ÚwÚ Wome to rise ÚwÚ and mutiny. 
uWu AWW. ^-^ We'ww mutiny. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ We'ww buwn x3 the ;;w;; house of Brutus. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. :33 Away, >w< then! ^.^ Come, >_> seek x3 the conspirators. 
xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Yet hear uWu me, countwymen; yet hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
uWu AWW. uWu Peace, ho! >w< Heaw ;;w;; Antony, UwU most x3 nyobwe Antony! 
xDD ANTONY. Why, OwO fwiends, xDD you OwO go to UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow nyot what. 
^-^ Whewein hath Caesaw OwO thus deserved x3 youw >w< wuvs? 
ÚwÚ Awas, xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; UwU I ^w^ must tell xDD you UwU then. 
>_> You uWu have fowgot x3 the xDD wiww UwU I told xDD you uWu of. 
uWu AWW. :3 Most ^-^ twue, x3 the will! :3 Wet's xDD stay ÚwÚ and hear x3 the :33 wiww. 
xDD ANTONY. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and :33 undew Caesar's ^.^ seaw. 
;;w;; To every Roman ^-^ citizen ^.^ he ^w^ gives, 
;;w;; To every sevewaw ^w^ man, seventy-five x3 dwachmas. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. :3 Most x3 nyobwe :3 Caesaw! ^-^ We'ww xDD wevenge :33 his death. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 O royal :3 Caesaw! 
xDD ANTONY. >w< Heaw ;;w;; me with OwO patience. 
uWu AWW. uWu Peace, ho! 
xDD ANTONY. :33 Moweuvw, ^.^ he hath left xDD you aww :33 his walks, 
ÚwÚ His >_> pwivate x3 awbows, ÚwÚ and >_> nyew-pwanted uWu owchawds, 
On ÚwÚ this x3 side Tibew; ^.^ he hath left them UwU you, 
xDD And to x3 youw :3 heiws forever- ^w^ common UwU pweasuwes, 
;;w;; To UwU wawk ^.^ abwoad ÚwÚ and recreate youwsewves. 
:3 Hewe UwU was :3 a :3 Caesaw! x3 When x3 comes xDD such anyothew? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Nyevew, ^-^ nyevew. ^.^ Come, away, away! 
^-^ We'ww buwn :33 his >w< body uWu in x3 the >w< howy :33 pwace 
xDD And with x3 the >_> bwands fire x3 the >_> twaitows' xDD houses. 
^.^ Take x3 up x3 the body. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. Go :3 fetch >_> fiwe. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. Pluck down benches. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. Pluck down x3 fowms, ÚwÚ windows, x3 anything. 
Exeunt uWu Citizens with x3 the body. 
xDD ANTONY. Now wet >w< it >w< wowk. Mischief, xDD thou awt afoot, 
^.^ Take xDD thou >_> what course xDD thou wilt. 

Entew :3 a ^.^ Sewvant. 

How now, fewwow? 
SEWVANT. UwU Siw, Octavius >_> is xDD awweady come to xDD Wome. 
xDD ANTONY. Whewe >_> is uWu he? 
SEWVANT. >w< He ÚwÚ and xDD Wepidus OwO awe uWu at Caesar's ÚwÚ house. 
xDD ANTONY. xDD And uWu thithew xDD wiww UwU I ^w^ stwaight to x3 visit ^.^ him. 
>w< He x3 comes ;;w;; upon :3 a ^w^ wish. :33 Fowtunye >_> is >_> mewwy, 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ mood xDD wiww UwU give >_> us x3 anything. 
SEWVANT. UwU I heard ^.^ him >_> say Brutus ÚwÚ and >w< Cassius 
^w^ Awe x3 wid ^.^ wike OwO madmen ^w^ thwough x3 the :3 gates of xDD Wome. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ Be ^.^ wike ;;w;; they xDD had x3 some ÚwÚ nyotice of x3 the >_> peopwe, 
How UwU I xDD had ^-^ muvd OwO them. Bring ;;w;; me to Octavius. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A :33 stweet. 

Entew ^.^ Cinnya x3 the poet. 

CINNA. UwU I dweamt :3 tonyight :3 that UwU I uWu did >_> feast with ÚwÚ Caesaw, 
xDD And ^.^ things xDD unwuckiwy :3 chawge x3 my OwO fantasy. 
UwU I uWu have nyo xDD wiww to >w< wandew fowth of doows, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^-^ something weads ;;w;; me forth. 

Entew uWu Citizens. 

uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_> What >_> is x3 youw :3 nyame? 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 Whithew OwO awe xDD you xDD going? 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. Whewe UwU do xDD you dweww? 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^w^ Awe xDD you :3 a mawwied x3 man ow :3 a bachewow? 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. Answer every x3 man directly. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Ay, ÚwÚ and bwiefwy. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. Ay, ÚwÚ and wisely. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. Ay, ÚwÚ and OwO twuwy, xDD you :3 wewe >_> best. 
CINNA. >_> What >_> is x3 my :3 nyame? x3 Whithew ^w^ am UwU I xDD going? Whewe UwU do UwU I dweww? ^w^ Am UwU I 
:3 a mawwied x3 man ow :3 a bachewow? Then, to answew every x3 man xDD diwectwy 
ÚwÚ and bwiefwy, wisely ÚwÚ and twuwy: wisely UwU I say, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 bachewow. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< That's >_< as much >_< as to >_> say ;;w;; they OwO awe foows :3 that marry. 
You'll UwU beaw ;;w;; me :3 a ^-^ bang fow :3 that, UwU I ;;w;; feaw. ÚwÚ Pwoceed directly. 
CINNA. Directly, UwU I ^w^ am x3 going to Caesar's ^-^ funyewaw. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ;;w;; As :3 a :33 fwiend ow >w< an enyemy? 
CINNA. ;;w;; As :3 a :3 fwiend. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. :33 That ;;w;; mattew >_> is OwO answewed directly. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. For x3 youw x3 dwewwing, bwiefwy. 
CINNA. ÚwÚ Bwiefwy, UwU I dwell ^.^ by x3 the Capitol. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu Youw :33 nyame, ^w^ siw, UwU twuwy. 
CINNA. ^-^ Twuwy, x3 my xDD nyame >_> is Cinna. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< Teaw ^.^ him to :3 pieces, uWu he's :3 a ^.^ conspiwatow. 
CINNA. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ Cinnya x3 the ^-^ poet, UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ Cinnya x3 the poet. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< Teaw ^.^ him fow :33 his :33 bad ^w^ vewses, teaw ^.^ him fow :33 his :33 bad 
verses. 
CINNA. UwU I ^w^ am nyot ^.^ Cinnya x3 the ^.^ conspiwatow. 
;;w;; FOUWTH ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^.^ It >_> is nyo >w< mattew, :33 his name's Cinna. Pluck >_> but :33 his 
xDD nyame x3 out of :33 his uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and turn ^.^ him uWu going. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. >w< Teaw :3 him, teaw x3 him! ^.^ Come, bwands, :3 ho, OwO fiwebwands. ;;w;; To 
>_> Bwutus', to xDD Cassius'; buwn all. ;;w;; Some to ^-^ Decius' house, ÚwÚ and x3 some 
to x3 Casca's, x3 some to uWu Wigawius'. :33 Away, :3 go! :33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^-^ A ;;w;; house uWu in xDD Wome. ;;w;; Antony, uWu Octavius, ÚwÚ and Wepidus, seated uWu at :3 a ;;w;; tabwe. 

xDD ANTONY. ;;w;; These UwU many xDD then UwU shaww >_> die, uWu theiw nyames OwO awe pwick'd. 
x3 OCTAVIUS. uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew ^w^ too ^w^ must :3 die; >_< consent UwU you, Wepidus? 
x3 WEPIDUS. UwU I UwU do consent- 
x3 OCTAVIUS. Pwick ^.^ him ;;w;; down, Antony. 
x3 WEPIDUS. >_> Upon condition UwU Pubwius UwU shaww nyot x3 wive, 
Who >_> is x3 youw OwO sistew's x3 son, >_> Mawk Antony. 
xDD ANTONY. >w< He UwU shaww nyot ÚwÚ wive; look, with :3 a ^w^ spot UwU I damn ^.^ him. 
But, Wepidus, OwO go xDD you to Caesar's house, 
^-^ Fetch x3 the xDD wiww hithew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we UwU shaww determine 
How to :3 cut x3 off x3 some :3 chawge uWu in :3 wegacies. 
x3 WEPIDUS. What, UwU shaww UwU I find xDD you hewe? 
x3 OCTAVIUS. :33 Ow UwU hewe, ow uWu at x3 the Capitol. uWu Exit Lepidus. 
xDD ANTONY. This >_> is :3 a :3 swight OwO unmewitabwe ^w^ man, 
^w^ Meet to be sent on ewwands. Is >w< it >w< fit, 
uWu The xDD thwee-fowd wowwd divided, ^.^ he >_> shouwd stand 
x3 Onye of x3 the >w< thwee to share :33 it? 
x3 OCTAVIUS. ^w^ So xDD you xDD thought :3 him, 
xDD And >_> took :33 his uWu voice who >_> shouwd be pwick'd to ^-^ die 
^w^ In UwU ouw black :33 sentence ÚwÚ and >w< pwoscwiption. 
xDD ANTONY. uWu Octavius, UwU I uWu have :3 seen ^.^ mowe OwO days than UwU you, 
xDD And ^w^ though ^.^ we uWu way these honyows on ÚwÚ this x3 man 
;;w;; To ^w^ ease ouwsewves of divers slanderous ^.^ woads, 
>w< He UwU shaww >_> but UwU beaw them >_< as x3 the >w< ass bears ^.^ gowd, 
;;w;; To gwoan ÚwÚ and UwU sweat :33 undew x3 the business, 
^-^ Eithew x3 wed ow driven, >_< as ^.^ we :33 point x3 the way; 
xDD And xDD having ^.^ bwought UwU ouw treasure :3 whewe ^.^ we :33 wiww, 
UwU Then OwO take ^.^ we down :33 his woad ÚwÚ and turn ^.^ him ^w^ off, 
Wike to x3 the :33 empty ass, to ;;w;; shake :33 his OwO eaws 
xDD And uWu gwaze uWu in commons. 
x3 OCTAVIUS. >_> You OwO may UwU do x3 youw :33 wiww, 
OwO But uWu he's :3 a ;;w;; twied ÚwÚ and uWu vawiant OwO sowdiew. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ So >_> is x3 my horse, uWu Octavius, ÚwÚ and fow :3 that 
UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ appoint ^.^ him OwO stowe of >_< pwuvndew. 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a creature :3 that UwU I >_< teach to x3 fight, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; wind, to UwU stop, to >w< wun xDD diwectwy ;;w;; on, 
ÚwÚ His corporal >_> motion guvwn'd ^.^ by x3 my >w< spiwit. 
^.^ And, uWu in x3 some x3 taste, >_> is xDD Wepidus >_> but so: 
>w< He ^w^ must be OwO taught, ÚwÚ and ^.^ twain'd, ÚwÚ and bid OwO go forth; 
^-^ A barren-spirited fewwow, one :3 that xDD feeds 
On x3 objects, UwU awts, ÚwÚ and x3 imitations, 
>_< Which, x3 out of use ÚwÚ and stawed ^.^ by othew men, 
Begin :33 his fashion. Do nyot tawk of ^.^ him 
OwO But >_< as :3 a uWu pwopewty. xDD And now, uWu Octavius, 
OwO Wisten great xDD things. Brutus ÚwÚ and >w< Cassius 
^w^ Awe UwU wevying powews; ^.^ we ^w^ must ^w^ stwaight >_< make head; 
Therefore wet UwU ouw alliance be uWu combinyed, 
Our best ^w^ fwiends made, UwU ouw means uWu stwetch'd; 
xDD And wet >_> us presently OwO go sit uWu in ;;w;; counciw, 
How UwU cuvwt uWu mattews OwO may be best discwosed, 
xDD And open perils >_> suwest answered. 
x3 OCTAVIUS. Let >_> us UwU do >_> so, fow ^.^ we OwO awe uWu at x3 the >w< stake, 
xDD And ^-^ bay'd about with UwU many enyemies; 
xDD And x3 some :3 that ;;w;; smiwe uWu have uWu in uWu theiw hearts, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, 
xDD Miwwions of mischiefs. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Camp nyeaw >w< Sawdis. ^.^ Befowe ^-^ Bwutus' uWu tent. >_< Dwum. 

Entew >_> Bwutus, Wuciwius, ^w^ Wucius, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Sowdiews; Titinyius ÚwÚ and UwU Pindawus :3 meet OwO them. 

^w^ BWUTUS. >_> Stand, ho! 
LUCILIUS. Give x3 the word, :3 ho, ÚwÚ and ^.^ stand. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> What now, Wuciwius, >_> is >w< Cassius ;;w;; nyeaw? 
LUCILIUS. >w< He >_> is uWu at uWu hand, ÚwÚ and UwU Pindawus >_> is come 
;;w;; To UwU do xDD you salutation from :33 his master. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< He greets ;;w;; me well. uWu Youw ^.^ mastew, Pindarus, 
^w^ In :33 his UwU own >_< change, ow ^.^ by :33 iww OwO officews, 
>_< Hath UwU given ;;w;; me x3 some ÚwÚ wowthy cause to ÚwÚ wish 
^w^ Things donye :3 undonye; >_> but >_> if ^.^ he be uWu at uWu hand, 
UwU I UwU shaww be xDD satisfied. 
:33 PINDAWUS. UwU I UwU do nyot doubt 
OwO But :3 that x3 my x3 nyobwe >_< mastew xDD wiww appeaw 
>w< Such >_< as ^.^ he ;;w;; is, full of regard ÚwÚ and uWu honyow. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< He >_> is nyot :33 doubted. ^-^ A word, Wuciwius, 
How ^.^ he uWu weceived OwO you. Let ;;w;; me be ^-^ wesowved. 
LUCILIUS. With >w< couwtesy ÚwÚ and with wespect UwU enyough, 
OwO But nyot with xDD such ^.^ famiwiaw :33 instances, 
x3 Nyow with xDD such fwee ÚwÚ and xDD fwiendwy ÚwÚ confewence, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he hath used of ^-^ owd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ Thou x3 hast descwibed 
^-^ A :3 hot :33 fwiend >_< coowing. ^w^ Evew :3 nyote, Wuciwius, 
x3 When wuv ÚwÚ begins to >w< sicken ÚwÚ and x3 decay 
^.^ It xDD useth >w< an enfowced :3 cewemony. 
>_> Thewe OwO awe nyo tricks uWu in uWu pwain ÚwÚ and :33 simpwe xDD faith; 
OwO But OwO howwow men, ^.^ wike :3 howses :3 hot uWu at uWu hand, 
^-^ Make OwO gawwant x3 show ÚwÚ and promise of uWu theiw xDD mettwe; 
OwO But when ;;w;; they >_> shouwd OwO enduwe x3 the bwoody ÚwÚ spuw, 
^-^ They faww uWu theiw crests ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike deceitful x3 jades 
^-^ Sink uWu in x3 the trial. UwU Comes :33 his ^.^ awmy ^-^ on? 
LUCILIUS. ^-^ They meant :33 his >w< nyight uWu in >_> Sawd >_> is to be quawtew'd; 
uWu The :33 gweatew >_> pawt, x3 the UwU howse uWu in general, 
^w^ Awe come with UwU Cassius. Low :33 mawch x3 within. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Hawk, ^.^ he >_> is arrived. 
March gently on to :3 meet ^.^ him. 

Entew >w< Cassius ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ Powews. 

CASSIUS. >_> Stand, ho! 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> Stand, ho! ^w^ Speak x3 the ;;w;; wowd >_> awong. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. :3 Stand! 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. :3 Stand! 
^w^ THIWD uWu SOWDIEW. :3 Stand! 
CASSIUS. :3 Most x3 nyobwe brother, xDD you uWu have donye ;;w;; me wrong. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD Judge uWu me, xDD you ^-^ gods! Wwong UwU I >_< minye enyemies? 
^.^ And, >_> if nyot >_> so, >w< how >_> shouwd UwU I wrong :3 a bwothew? 
CASSIUS. >_> Bwutus, ÚwÚ this sober >_< fowm of >_> youws OwO hides wrongs, 
xDD And when xDD you UwU do OwO them- 
^w^ BWUTUS. OwO Cassius, be UwU content, 
^w^ Speak x3 youw griefs softly, UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow xDD you well. 
^.^ Befowe x3 the eyes of both UwU ouw awmies UwU hewe, 
>_< Which >_> shouwd >_> pewceive >_< nyothing >_> but wuv from us, 
Let >_> us nyot wrangle. x3 Bid them move :3 away; 
UwU Then uWu in x3 my x3 tent, OwO Cassius, >_< enwawge x3 youw ^.^ gwiefs, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww UwU give xDD you audience. 
CASSIUS. Pindarus, 
x3 Bid UwU ouw >_< commandews lead uWu theiw chawges x3 off 
^-^ A xDD wittwe from ÚwÚ this :33 gwound. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Wuciwius, UwU do xDD you x3 the :3 wike, ÚwÚ and wet nyo x3 man 
:3 Come to UwU ouw ^w^ tent >w< tiww ^.^ we uWu have donye UwU ouw conference. 
Let ^.^ Wucius ÚwÚ and Titinyius xDD guawd UwU ouw UwU doow. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ Bwutus' uWu tent. 

Entew Brutus ÚwÚ and UwU Cassius. 

CASSIUS. :33 That xDD you uWu have wrong'd ;;w;; me xDD doth appeaw uWu in :33 this: 
>_> You uWu have condemn'd ÚwÚ and noted ^.^ Wucius uWu Pewwa 
For :3 taking ^-^ bwibes OwO hewe of x3 the ^-^ Sawdians, 
^-^ Whewein x3 my letters, :3 pwaying on :33 his side, 
>_< Because UwU I UwU knyew x3 the ^w^ man, :3 wewe swighted off. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> You wrong'd >_> youwsewf to >w< wwite uWu in xDD such :3 a :3 case. 
CASSIUS. ^w^ In xDD such :3 a time >_< as ÚwÚ this >w< it >_> is nyot :3 meet 
:33 That every UwU nyice offense >_> shouwd UwU beaw :33 his uWu comment. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Let ;;w;; me tell UwU you, OwO Cassius, xDD you >_> youwsewf 
^w^ Awe much condemn'd to uWu have >w< an ÚwÚ itching pawm, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; seww ÚwÚ and mart x3 youw ;;w;; offices fow gowd 
;;w;; To undesewvews. 
CASSIUS. UwU I >w< an ÚwÚ itching ^w^ pawm? 
>_> You ^.^ knyow :3 that xDD you OwO awe Brutus :3 that xDD speaks uWu this, 
:3 Ow, ^.^ by x3 the uWu gods, ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ speech :3 wewe >_> ewse x3 youw last. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu The xDD nyame of >w< Cassius honyows ÚwÚ this >_> cowwuption, 
xDD And uWu chastisement xDD doth >_< thewefowe hide :33 his >_> head. 
CASSIUS. ;;w;; Chastisement? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Wemembew March, x3 the ides of March ^.^ wemembew. 
Did nyot great Julius bweed fow UwU justice' :33 sake? 
>_> What viwwain touch'd :33 his ;;w;; body, :3 that uWu did >_< stab, 
xDD And nyot fow >w< justice? What, UwU shaww one of us, 
:33 That >w< stwuck x3 the ÚwÚ fowemost x3 man of aww ÚwÚ this wowwd 
OwO But fow :33 suppowting ^w^ wobbews, UwU shaww ^.^ we nyow 
^.^ Contaminyate UwU ouw x3 fingews with UwU base ^-^ bwibes 
xDD And ;;w;; seww x3 the ^-^ mighty xDD space of UwU ouw large honyows 
For UwU so much ^w^ twash >_< as OwO may be >w< gwasped >_< thus? 
UwU I xDD had rather be :3 a dog, ÚwÚ and ^w^ bay x3 the ;;w;; moon, 
Than xDD such :3 a Roman. 
CASSIUS. >_> Bwutus, x3 bait nyot uWu me, 
I'll nyot OwO enduwe :3 it. >_> You x3 fowget >_> youwsewf 
;;w;; To ^-^ hedge ;;w;; me ^.^ in. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a sowdiew, I, 
Older uWu in ^-^ pwactice, UwU abwew than >_> youwsewf 
;;w;; To >_< make conditions. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Go ^.^ to, xDD you OwO awe >_> nyot, UwU Cassius. 
CASSIUS. UwU I am. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I >_> say xDD you OwO awe not. 
CASSIUS. Uwge ;;w;; me nyo >_> mowe, UwU I UwU shaww x3 fowget >_< mysewf; 
:3 Have ^-^ mind ;;w;; upon x3 youw :33 heawth, tempt ;;w;; me nyo ÚwÚ fawthew. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :33 Away, :3 swight ;;w;; man! 
CASSIUS. ^-^ Is't possible? 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< Heaw uWu me, fow UwU I xDD wiww >_< speak. 
:3 Must UwU I UwU give uWu way ÚwÚ and >_> woom to x3 youw >_< wash chowew? 
Shall UwU I be frighted when :3 a ÚwÚ madman >w< stawes? 
CASSIUS. x3 O uWu gods, OwO ye ^-^ gods! :3 Must UwU I OwO enduwe aww :3 this? 
^w^ BWUTUS. All :3 this? Ay, more. ^-^ Fwet >w< tiww x3 youw OwO pwoud >_< heawt *cuddles you* bweak. 
Go x3 show x3 youw xDD swaves >w< how :3 chowewic xDD you awe, 
xDD And >_< make x3 youw :3 bondmen ^w^ twembwe. :3 Must UwU I >_< bouge? 
:3 Must UwU I uWu obsewve you? :3 Must UwU I stand ÚwÚ and :3 cwouch 
;;w;; Undew x3 youw testy humor? ^-^ By x3 the uWu gods, 
>_> You UwU shaww digest x3 the ;;w;; venyom of x3 youw >w< spween, 
;;w;; Though >w< it UwU do ^-^ spwit UwU you, for, from ÚwÚ this day ^-^ fowth, 
I'll use xDD you fow x3 my :33 miwth, >w< yea, fow x3 my waughtew, 
x3 When xDD you OwO awe ^.^ waspish. 
CASSIUS. Is >w< it come to :3 this? 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> You >_> say xDD you OwO awe :3 a xDD bettew x3 sowdiew: 
Let >w< it appeaw >_> so, >_< make x3 youw >_< vaunting ^-^ twue, 
xDD And >w< it UwU shaww uWu pwease ;;w;; me well. For >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, 
UwU I UwU shaww be uWu gwad to :3 weawn of x3 nyobwe ^.^ men. 
CASSIUS. >_> You wrong ;;w;; me every :3 way, xDD you wrong uWu me, Brutus. 
UwU I said, >w< an :33 ewdew sowdiew, nyot :3 a ^-^ bettew. 
Did UwU I >_> say "bettew"? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ;;w;; If xDD you ^-^ did, UwU I :3 cawe not. 
CASSIUS. x3 When Caesaw ^w^ wived, ^.^ he x3 duwst nyot OwO thus uWu have ^-^ muvd x3 me. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu Peace, peace! >_> You x3 duwst nyot UwU so uWu have tempted ^.^ him. 
CASSIUS. UwU I x3 duwst ^w^ nyot? 
^w^ BWUTUS. No. 
CASSIUS. What, x3 duwst nyot tempt him? 
^w^ BWUTUS. For x3 youw >w< wife xDD you x3 duwst not. 
CASSIUS. Do nyot presume ^w^ too much ;;w;; upon x3 my love; 
UwU I OwO may UwU do :3 that UwU I UwU shaww be sowwy ;;w;; fow. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> You uWu have donye :3 that xDD you >_> shouwd be sowwy ;;w;; fow. 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo >w< tewwow, OwO Cassius, uWu in x3 youw :3 thweats, 
For UwU I ^w^ am awm'd UwU so >w< stwong uWu in :3 honyesty, 
:33 That ;;w;; they pass ^.^ by ;;w;; me >_< as x3 the idle wind 
>_< Which UwU I wespect not. UwU I uWu did >_> send to xDD you 
For xDD cewtain uWu sums of ^.^ gowd, which xDD you >w< denyied uWu me, 
For UwU I ^.^ can >w< waise nyo monyey ^.^ by ^-^ viwe means. 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I xDD had rather ^-^ coin x3 my >_< heawt 
xDD And >_< dwop x3 my :3 bwood fow drachmas than to wring 
Fwom x3 the x3 hawd ^.^ hands of uWu peasants uWu theiw ^-^ viwe ^w^ twash 
^-^ By xDD any ;;w;; indiwection. UwU I uWu did >_> send 
;;w;; To xDD you fow gowd to x3 pay x3 my legions, 
>_< Which xDD you >w< denyied x3 me. Was :3 that donye ^.^ wike xDD Cassius? 
Should UwU I uWu have x3 answew'd :3 Caius >w< Cassius so? 
x3 When x3 Mawcus Brutus gwows UwU so covetous 
;;w;; To OwO wock xDD such wascaw uWu countews from :33 his OwO fwiends, 
^w^ Be :3 weady, uWu gods, with aww x3 youw >w< thundewbowts, 
:3 Dash ^.^ him to pieces! 
CASSIUS. UwU I >w< denyied xDD you not. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> You ^.^ did. 
CASSIUS. UwU I uWu did not. >w< He UwU was >_> but :3 a >w< foow 
:33 That ^.^ bwought x3 my answew back. Brutus hath >_< wived x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
^-^ A :33 fwiend >_> shouwd UwU beaw :33 his ^-^ fwiend's >w< infiwmities, 
OwO But Brutus x3 makes >_< minye :33 gweatew than ;;w;; they x3 awe. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I UwU do >_> nyot, >w< tiww xDD you x3 pwactise them on x3 me. 
CASSIUS. >_> You wuv ;;w;; me not. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike x3 youw x3 fauwts. 
CASSIUS. ^-^ A xDD fwiendwy ^w^ eye couwd >_< nyevew >_> see xDD such x3 fauwts. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ A flatterer's ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, ^w^ though ;;w;; they UwU do appeaw 
;;w;; As >_> huge >_< as xDD high Olympus. 
CASSIUS. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; Antony, ÚwÚ and xDD young uWu Octavius, come, 
xDD Wevenge youwsewves awonye on OwO Cassius, 
For >w< Cassius >_> is >_> aweawy of x3 the wowwd: 
>w< Hated ^.^ by one ^.^ he loves; braved ^.^ by :33 his bwothew; 
Check'd ^.^ wike :3 a >_> bondman; aww :33 his :33 fauwts >_< obsewved, 
Set uWu in :3 a notebook, weawn'd ÚwÚ and xDD conn'd ^.^ by rote, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; cast x3 into x3 my teeth. >_< O, UwU I couwd xDD weep 
OwO My ^w^ spiwit from >_< minye xDD eyes! >_> Thewe >_> is x3 my x3 daggew, 
xDD And OwO hewe x3 my nyaked >_< bweast; :33 within, :3 a >_< heawt 
>_> Deawew than Pluto's >_> minye, xDD wichew than ;;w;; gowd. 
;;w;; If :3 that xDD thou best :3 a Woman, OwO take >w< it forth; 
I, :3 that >w< denyied uWu thee ^.^ gowd, xDD wiww UwU give x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
UwU Stwike, >_< as xDD thou :33 didst uWu at ÚwÚ Caesaw, fow UwU I knyow, 
x3 When xDD thou :33 didst ^-^ hate ^.^ him ^.^ wowst, xDD thou lovedst ^.^ him xDD bettew 
Than OwO evew xDD thou lovedst UwU Cassius. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ;;w;; Sheathe x3 youw >w< daggew. 
^w^ Be angry when xDD you :33 wiww, >w< it UwU shaww uWu have >_> scope; 
Do >_> what xDD you :33 wiww, OwO dishonyow UwU shaww be humor. 
x3 O OwO Cassius, xDD you OwO awe :33 yoked with :3 a lamb, 
:33 That xDD cawwies ÚwÚ angew >_< as x3 the OwO fwint bears ^w^ fiwe, 
UwU Who, much x3 enfowced, >_< shows :3 a >_> hasty spawk 
xDD And ^w^ stwaight >_> is UwU cowd ;;w;; again. 
CASSIUS. >_< Hath >w< Cassius >_< wived 
;;w;; To be >_> but >_< miwth ÚwÚ and :33 waughtew to :33 his >_> Bwutus, 
x3 When grief ÚwÚ and :3 bwood iww-tempew'd vexeth him? 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 When UwU I ^-^ spoke :3 that, UwU I UwU was iww-tempew'd UwU too. 
CASSIUS. Do xDD you x3 confess UwU so much? Give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD And x3 my >_< heawt UwU too. 
CASSIUS. x3 O >_> Bwutus! 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
CASSIUS. :3 Have nyot xDD you wuv enough to UwU beaw with ;;w;; me 
x3 When :3 that >_< wash humor which x3 my mothew uWu gave ;;w;; me 
:3 Makes ;;w;; me >_> fowgetfuw? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Yes, OwO Cassius, ÚwÚ and from >w< hencefowth, 
x3 When xDD you OwO awe x3 uvweawnyest with x3 youw >_> Bwutus, 
^-^ He'ww think x3 youw mothew ^.^ chides, ÚwÚ and OwO weave xDD you :3 so. 
ÚwÚ POET. ^.^ [Within.] Let ;;w;; me OwO go uWu in to >_> see x3 the xDD genyewaws. 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 some >_< gwudge ^-^ between 'em, UwU 'tis nyot :3 meet 
^-^ They be >_< awonye. 
LUCILIUS. ^.^ [Within.] >_> You UwU shaww nyot come to OwO them. 
ÚwÚ POET. ^.^ [Within.] Nyothing >_> but :33 death UwU shaww xDD stay x3 me. 

Entew >_> Poet, fowwowed ^.^ by Wuciwius, Titinyius, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Wucius. 

CASSIUS. How now, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
ÚwÚ POET. For UwU shame, xDD you generals! >_> What UwU do xDD you ^.^ mean? 
Wuv, ÚwÚ and be OwO fwiends, >_< as >w< two xDD such ;;w;; men >_> shouwd be; 
For UwU I uWu have :3 seen ^.^ mowe years, >w< I'm x3 suwe, than uWu ye. 
CASSIUS. >w< Ha, :33 ha! How uWu viwewy xDD doth ÚwÚ this ^-^ cynyic ^-^ whyme! 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< Get xDD you hence, siwwah; ^w^ saucy fewwow, UwU hence! 
CASSIUS. ÚwÚ Beaw with :3 him, Brutus; UwU 'tis :33 his fashion. 
^w^ BWUTUS. I'll ^.^ knyow :33 his humor when ^.^ he xDD knyows :33 his uWu time. 
>_> What >_> shouwd x3 the UwU waws UwU do with these >_< jigging foows? 
UwU Companyion, UwU hence! 
CASSIUS. :33 Away, away, be ÚwÚ gonye! uWu Exit Poet. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Lucilius ÚwÚ and Titinyius, bid x3 the >_< commandews 
Pwepawe to uWu wodge uWu theiw ÚwÚ companyies tonight. 
CASSIUS. xDD And come youwsewves ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing uWu Messawa with xDD you 
;;w;; Immediatewy to >_> us. Exeunt Lucilius ÚwÚ and Titinyius. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^w^ Wucius, :3 a >w< boww of :3 winye! uWu Exit ^-^ Wucius. 
CASSIUS. UwU I uWu did nyot think xDD you couwd uWu have :33 been UwU so >w< angwy. 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 O OwO Cassius, UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick of UwU many gwiefs. 
CASSIUS. Of x3 youw x3 phiwosophy xDD you >_< make nyo ^.^ use, 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU give :33 pwace to accidental eviws. 
^w^ BWUTUS. No x3 man bears sorrow ^-^ bettew. :33 Powtia >_> is uWu dead. 
CASSIUS. ÚwÚ Ha? Portia? 
^w^ BWUTUS. :33 She >_> is uWu dead. 
CASSIUS. How ^w^ 'scaped UwU kiwwing when UwU I cwoss'd xDD you so? 
x3 O xDD insuppowtabwe ÚwÚ and ^-^ touching ^w^ woss! 
>_> Upon >_> what ^w^ sicknyess? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Impatient of x3 my >_> absence, 
xDD And grief :3 that xDD young Octavius with >_> Mawk OwO Antony 
:3 Have UwU made x3 themsewves UwU so x3 stwong- fow with her :33 death 
:33 That UwU tidings >w< came- with ÚwÚ this ^.^ she UwU feww ^.^ distwact, 
xDD And OwO (hew ^.^ attendants ^w^ absent) swallow'd >_> fiwe. 
CASSIUS. xDD And >w< died so? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Even :3 so. 
CASSIUS. x3 O OwO ye :3 immowtaw ^-^ gods! 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ Wucius, with winye ÚwÚ and taper. 

^w^ BWUTUS. ^w^ Speak nyo ^.^ mowe of her. Give ;;w;; me :3 a >w< boww of ^.^ winye. 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this UwU I ^.^ buwy aww ;;w;; unkindnyess, UwU Cassius. >_> Dwinks. 
CASSIUS. OwO My >_< heawt >_> is ^.^ thiwsty fow :3 that x3 nyobwe :33 pwedge. 
Fill, ^w^ Wucius, >w< tiww x3 the winye OwO o'ewsweww x3 the cup; 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ dwink ^w^ too much of ^-^ Bwutus' love. >_> Dwinks. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Come x3 in, uWu Titinyius! uWu Exit ^-^ Wucius. 

^.^ We-entew Titinyius, with :33 Messawa. 

Welcome, ÚwÚ good :33 Messawa. 
Now sit ^.^ we ^-^ cwose about ÚwÚ this xDD tapew UwU hewe, 
xDD And caww uWu in ;;w;; question UwU ouw uWu nyecessities. 
CASSIUS. :33 Powtia, awt xDD thou gone? 
^w^ BWUTUS. No >_> mowe, UwU I pray OwO you. 
Messala, UwU I uWu have OwO hewe uWu weceived x3 wettews 
:33 That xDD young Octavius ÚwÚ and >_> Mawk OwO Antony 
:3 Come down ;;w;; upon >_> us with :3 a ^-^ mighty x3 powew, 
:3 Bending uWu theiw ÚwÚ expedition toward Phiwippi. 
:3 MESSAWA. xDD Mysewf uWu have x3 wettews of x3 the x3 sewfsame :33 tenyuwe. 
^w^ BWUTUS. With >_> what addition? 
:3 MESSAWA. :33 That ^.^ by ÚwÚ pwoscwiption ÚwÚ and bills of >_> outwawwy 
uWu Octavius, ;;w;; Antony, ÚwÚ and xDD Wepidus 
:3 Have put to :33 death >w< an :3 hundwed ;;w;; senyatows. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> Thewe uWu in UwU ouw x3 wettews UwU do nyot weww agree; 
Mine speak of OwO seventy :3 senyatows :3 that >w< died 
^-^ By uWu theiw proscriptions, Cicero ^.^ being onye. 
CASSIUS. Cicero one! 
:3 MESSAWA. Cicero >_> is >_< dead, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 that order of >w< pwoscwiption. 
xDD Had xDD you x3 youw x3 wettews from x3 youw :3 wife, x3 my xDD wowd? 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Nyo, :33 Messawa. 
:3 MESSAWA. x3 Nyow >_< nyothing uWu in x3 youw x3 wettews ^-^ wwit of OwO hew? 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Nyothing, :33 Messawa. 
:3 MESSAWA. ^.^ That, UwU methinks, >_> is x3 stwange. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Why ^w^ ask you? >w< Heaw xDD you ^.^ aught of her uWu in x3 youws? 
:3 MESSAWA. :3 Nyo, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_> Nyow, >_< as xDD you OwO awe :3 a Woman, tell ;;w;; me true. 
:3 MESSAWA. UwU Then ^.^ wike :3 a Roman UwU beaw x3 the uWu twuth UwU I tell: 
For xDD cewtain ^.^ she >_> is >_< dead, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ;;w;; stwange ^-^ mannyew. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Why, farewell, ^.^ Powtia. We ^w^ must >_> die, :33 Messawa. 
With meditating :3 that ^.^ she ^w^ must ^-^ die >_> once 
UwU I uWu have x3 the uWu patience to OwO enduwe >w< it now. 
:3 MESSAWA. Even UwU so great ;;w;; men great :33 wosses >_> shouwd enduwe. 
CASSIUS. UwU I uWu have >_< as much of ÚwÚ this uWu in awt >_< as UwU you, 
OwO But yet x3 my ÚwÚ nyatuwe couwd nyot UwU beaw >w< it :3 so. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD Weww, to UwU ouw ^.^ wowk alive. >_> What UwU do xDD you think 
Of ^.^ mawching to Philippi ÚwÚ pwesentwy? 
CASSIUS. UwU I UwU do nyot think >w< it UwU good. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu Youw uWu weason? 
CASSIUS. This >w< it ^w^ is: 
'Tis xDD bettew :3 that x3 the ;;w;; enyemy >_> seek us; 
^w^ So UwU shaww ^.^ he uWu waste :33 his >_< means, ÚwÚ weawy :33 his xDD sowdiews, 
:33 Doing >_< himsewf :3 offense, whiwst ^.^ we lying still 
^w^ Awe full of ^-^ west, >_> defense, ÚwÚ and >w< nyimbwenyess. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ Good weasons ^w^ must of force UwU give :33 pwace to ^-^ bettew. 
uWu The OwO peopwe 'twixt Philippi ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this x3 gwound 
Do stand >_> but uWu in :3 a xDD fowced :33 affection, 
For ;;w;; they uWu have >_< gwudged >_> us ^-^ contwibution. 
uWu The enyemy, ^.^ mawching :3 awong ^.^ by ÚwÚ them, 
^-^ By them UwU shaww >_< make :3 a ^-^ fuwwew ^w^ nyumbew up, 
:3 Come on refresh'd, ;;w;; nyew-added, ÚwÚ and encouwaged; 
Fwom which ^w^ advantage UwU shaww ^.^ we :3 cut ^.^ him x3 off 
;;w;; If uWu at Philippi ^.^ we UwU do OwO face ^.^ him thewe, 
;;w;; These OwO peopwe uWu at UwU ouw back. 
CASSIUS. >w< Heaw uWu me, ÚwÚ good ^-^ bwothew. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ;;w;; Undew x3 youw pardon. >_> You ^w^ must ^-^ nyote :3 beside 
:33 That ^.^ we uWu have ;;w;; twied x3 the utmost of UwU ouw OwO fwiends, 
Our legions OwO awe >_> bwim-fuww, UwU ouw cause >_> is ripe: 
uWu The ;;w;; enyemy incweaseth every uWu day; 
We, uWu at x3 the xDD height, OwO awe ready to decwinye. 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a >_< tide uWu in x3 the affairs of ;;w;; men 
>_< Which :33 taken uWu at x3 the flood weads on to ^-^ fowtunye; 
Omitted, aww x3 the ^w^ voyage of uWu theiw >w< wife 
Is bound uWu in shawwows ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 misewies. 
On xDD such :3 a full sea OwO awe ^.^ we nyow >_> afwoat, 
xDD And ^.^ we ^w^ must OwO take x3 the :3 cuwwent when >w< it OwO sewves, 
:33 Ow wose UwU ouw ventuwes. 
CASSIUS. Then, with x3 youw :33 wiww, OwO go xDD on; 
^-^ We'ww :3 awong ouwsewves ÚwÚ and :3 meet them uWu at Phiwippi. 
^w^ BWUTUS. uWu The >_> deep of >w< nyight >_> is x3 cwept ;;w;; upon UwU ouw talk, 
xDD And ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^w^ must UwU obey necessity, 
>_< Which ^.^ we xDD wiww niggard with :3 a xDD wittwe rest. 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe to ^.^ say? 
CASSIUS. No more. ^-^ Good OwO nyight. 
^-^ Eawwy tomorrow xDD wiww ^.^ we rise ÚwÚ and x3 hence. 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 Wucius! 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ Wucius. 

OwO My xDD gown. uWu Exit ^-^ Wucius. 
UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good Messala; 
^-^ Good night, >_> Titinyius; noble, x3 nyobwe OwO Cassius, 
^-^ Good >w< nyight ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good uWu wepose. 
CASSIUS. x3 O x3 my uWu deaw xDD bwothew! 
This UwU was >w< an :33 iww beginning of x3 the OwO nyight. 
xDD Nyevew come xDD such OwO division >_> 'tween UwU ouw :33 souws! 
Let >w< it >_> nyot, Brutus. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Everything >_> is well. 
CASSIUS. ^-^ Good night, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ Good night, ÚwÚ good ^-^ bwothew. 
xDD TITINyIUS. :3 MESSAWA. ^-^ Good night, Lord Brutus. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Faweweww, ^.^ evewyonye. 
Exeunt aww >_> but Brutus. 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ Wucius, with x3 the xDD gown. 

Give ;;w;; me x3 the xDD gown. Whewe >_> is >w< thy instwument? 
WUCIUS. :3 Hewe uWu in x3 the uWu tent. 
^w^ BWUTUS. What, xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st ;;w;; dwowsiwy? 
OwO Poow ^-^ knyave, UwU I uWu bwame uWu thee >_> nyot, xDD thou awt ^w^ o'ewwatch'd. 
;;w;; Caww OwO Cwaudio ÚwÚ and x3 some othew of x3 my men, 
I'll uWu have them :33 sweep on xDD cushions uWu in x3 my uWu tent. 
WUCIUS. Vawwo ÚwÚ and :33 Cwaudio! 

Entew Vawwo ÚwÚ and ^-^ Cwaudio. 

VARRO. ^-^ Cawws x3 my xDD wowd? 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I pray UwU you, sirs, >_< wie uWu in x3 my ^w^ tent ÚwÚ and ^w^ sweep; 
^.^ It OwO may be UwU I UwU shaww >w< waise xDD you ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by 
On business to x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew UwU Cassius. 
VARRO. ^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, ^.^ we xDD wiww stand ÚwÚ and ;;w;; watch x3 youw pleasure. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have >w< it :3 so. Lie ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ good sirs. 
^.^ It OwO may be UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ othewwise ^.^ bethink x3 me. 
Wook ^w^ Wucius, hewe's x3 the ^w^ book UwU I >_< sought fow so; 
UwU I put >w< it uWu in x3 the uWu pocket of x3 my xDD gown. 
Vawwo ÚwÚ and OwO Cwaudio >_< wie down. 
WUCIUS. UwU I UwU was >_< suwe x3 youw OwO wowdship uWu did nyot UwU give >w< it x3 me. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Beaw with uWu me, ÚwÚ good ^-^ boy, UwU I ^w^ am much fowgetfuw. 
ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou howd x3 up >w< thy x3 heavy eyes awhiwe, 
xDD And :33 touch >w< thy UwU instwument :3 a ;;w;; stwain ow ÚwÚ two? 
WUCIUS. Ay, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU an't uWu pwease OwO you. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ It >w< does, x3 my uWu boy. 
UwU I >_> twoubwe uWu thee ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, >_> but xDD thou awt ^w^ wiwwing. 
WUCIUS. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my >_< duty, sir. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU I >_> shouwd nyot urge >w< thy >_> duty x3 past >w< thy might; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD young xDD bwoods wook fow :3 a time of rest. 
WUCIUS. UwU I uWu have swept, x3 my uWu wowd, >_< awweady. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ It UwU was weww :33 donye, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt :33 sweep again; 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot howd uWu thee wong. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do x3 wive, 
UwU I xDD wiww be ÚwÚ good to thee. UwU Music, ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 song. 
This >_> is :3 a UwU sweepy x3 tunye. x3 O ^w^ muwthewous >_> swumbew, 
Layest xDD thou >w< thy weaden UwU mace ;;w;; upon x3 my ;;w;; boy 
:33 That plays uWu thee music? ^w^ Gentwe ^-^ knyave, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU do uWu thee UwU so much wrong to wake thee. 
;;w;; If xDD thou dost nyod, xDD thou bweak'st >w< thy ^.^ instwument; 
I'll OwO take >w< it from ÚwÚ thee; x3 and, ÚwÚ good ^-^ boy, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
Let ;;w;; me see, wet ;;w;; me see; >_> is nyot x3 the OwO weaf >_> tuwn'd down 
Whewe UwU I left :33 weading? :3 Hewe >w< it ;;w;; is, UwU I UwU think. x3 Sits down. 

Entew x3 the >_< Ghost of Caesaw. 

How :33 iww ÚwÚ this xDD tapew >w< buwns! >w< Ha, who x3 comes hewe? 
UwU I think >w< it >_> is x3 the ^.^ weaknyess of >_< minye eyes 
:33 That >w< shapes ÚwÚ this monstwous ^w^ appawition. 
^.^ It x3 comes ;;w;; upon x3 me. Awt xDD thou >_> anything? 
Awt xDD thou x3 some ^.^ god, x3 some ^-^ angew, ow x3 some ^.^ deviw 
:33 That >_> makest x3 my :3 bwood UwU cowd ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< haiw to :3 stawe? 
^w^ Speak to ;;w;; me >_> what xDD thou art. 
:3 GHOST. x3 Thy eviw ^-^ spiwit, Brutus. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Why comest thou? 
:3 GHOST. ;;w;; To tell uWu thee xDD thou shalt >_> see ;;w;; me uWu at Phiwippi. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD Weww, xDD then UwU I UwU shaww >_> see uWu thee ^w^ again? 
:3 GHOST. Ay, uWu at Phiwippi. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Why, UwU I xDD wiww >_> see uWu thee uWu at Philippi UwU then. uWu Exit ^w^ Ghost. 
Now UwU I uWu have :33 taken >_< heawt xDD thou vanyishest. 
>_< Iww ^-^ spiwit, UwU I ^.^ wouwd howd ^.^ mowe tawk with thee. 
Boy! x3 Wucius! >_< Vawwo! :33 Cwaudio! uWu Siws, ;;w;; awake! 
:33 Cwaudio! 
WUCIUS. uWu The strings, x3 my uWu wowd, OwO awe >w< fawse. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< He ^w^ thinks ^.^ he still >_> is uWu at :33 his x3 instwument. 
^w^ Wucius, ;;w;; awake! 
WUCIUS. OwO My xDD wowd? 
^w^ BWUTUS. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou x3 dweam, ^w^ Wucius, :3 that xDD thou UwU so cwiedst out? 
WUCIUS. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow :3 that UwU I uWu did ^-^ cwy. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Yes, :3 that xDD thou ;;w;; didst. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou >_> see >_> anything? 
WUCIUS. UwU Nyothing, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. OwO Sweep OwO again, ^-^ Wucius. ^w^ Siwwah :33 Cwaudio! 
:33 [To :3 Vawwo.] Fellow UwU thou, ;;w;; awake! 
VARRO. OwO My xDD wowd? 
CLAUDIO. OwO My xDD wowd? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Why uWu did xDD you UwU so cwy ^.^ out, sirs, uWu in x3 youw ^w^ sweep? 
VARRO. CLAUDIO. Did :33 we, x3 my xDD wowd? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Ay, saw xDD you >_> anything? 
VARRO. :3 Nyo, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I saw OwO nyothing. 
CLAUDIO. x3 Nyow I, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Go ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew ;;w;; Cassius; 
x3 Bid ^.^ him uWu set on :33 his ÚwÚ powews betimes x3 befowe, 
xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww x3 fowwow. 
VARRO. CLAUDIO. ^.^ It UwU shaww be :33 donye, x3 my OwO wowd. :33 Exeunt. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The UwU pwains of Phiwippi. 

Entew uWu Octavius, ;;w;; Antony, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw Awmy. 

x3 OCTAVIUS. >_> Nyow, ;;w;; Antony, UwU ouw hopes OwO awe answered. 
>_> You uWu said x3 the ;;w;; enyemy ^.^ wouwd nyot come ;;w;; down, 
OwO But >_< keep x3 the >w< hiwws ÚwÚ and >w< uppew OwO wegions. 
^.^ It ;;w;; pwuvs nyot :3 so. ^-^ Theiw :3 battwes OwO awe uWu at xDD hand; 
^-^ They >_> mean to x3 wawn >_> us uWu at Philippi UwU hewe, 
Answewing >w< befowe ^.^ we UwU do ;;w;; demand of OwO them. 
xDD ANTONY. Tut, UwU I ^w^ am uWu in uWu theiw UwU bosoms, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow 
ÚwÚ Whewefowe ;;w;; they UwU do :3 it. ^-^ They couwd be :3 content 
;;w;; To x3 visit othew OwO pwaces, ÚwÚ and come down 
With x3 feawfuw bwavewy, uWu thinking ^.^ by ÚwÚ this OwO face 
;;w;; To :33 fasten uWu in UwU ouw >_< thoughts :3 that ;;w;; they uWu have uWu couwage; 
OwO But UwU 'tis nyot :3 so. 

Entew :3 a Messengew. 

x3 MESSENGEW. Pwepawe UwU you, xDD genyewaws. 
uWu The ;;w;; enyemy x3 comes on uWu in OwO gawwant show; 
^-^ Theiw bwoody xDD sign of ÚwÚ battwe >_> is UwU hung ^.^ out, 
xDD And ^-^ something to be donye immediately. 
xDD ANTONY. uWu Octavius, lead x3 youw ÚwÚ battwe softly ;;w;; on, 
>_> Upon x3 the left uWu hand of x3 the even >_> fiewd. 
x3 OCTAVIUS. >_> Upon x3 the >w< wight uWu hand I, >_< keep xDD thou x3 the left. 
xDD ANTONY. Why UwU do xDD you OwO cwoss ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this :3 exigent? 
x3 OCTAVIUS. UwU I UwU do nyot OwO cwoss UwU you, >_> but UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :3 so. 

^-^ Mawch. >_< Dwum. Entew >_> Bwutus, OwO Cassius, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^.^ Awmy; 
Wuciwius, Titinyius, Messala, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. 

^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ They x3 stand, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd uWu have >_< pawwey. 
CASSIUS. ;;w;; Stand OwO fast, >_> Titinyius; ^.^ we ^w^ must x3 out ÚwÚ and ^-^ tawk. 
x3 OCTAVIUS. >_> Mawk ;;w;; Antony, UwU shaww ^.^ we UwU give xDD sign of :3 battwe? 
xDD ANTONY. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ Caesaw, ^.^ we xDD wiww answew on uWu theiw chawge. 
^-^ Make ^-^ fowth, x3 the genyewaws ^.^ wouwd uWu have x3 some ÚwÚ wowds. 
x3 OCTAVIUS. Stiw nyot ÚwÚ untiw x3 the OwO signyaw nyot ÚwÚ untiw x3 the ^w^ signyaw. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Words >w< befowe ÚwÚ bwows. Is >w< it >_> so, uWu countwymen? 
x3 OCTAVIUS. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that ^.^ we wuv wowds better, >_< as xDD you xDD do. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^-^ Good wowds OwO awe xDD bettew than :33 bad ;;w;; stwokes, Octavius. 
xDD ANTONY. ^w^ In x3 youw :33 bad ;;w;; stwokes, >_> Bwutus, xDD you UwU give ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ wowds. 
Witness x3 the x3 howe xDD you UwU made uWu in Caesar's uWu heawt, 
Crying "Wong x3 wive! >w< Haiw, Caesaw!" 
CASSIUS. ;;w;; Antony, 
uWu The posture of x3 youw ^w^ bwows OwO awe yet unknown; 
OwO But fow x3 youw wowds, ;;w;; they rob x3 the Hybla uWu bees, 
xDD And OwO weave them xDD honyeywess. 
xDD ANTONY. ÚwÚ Nyot stingless UwU too. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< O, :3 yes, ÚwÚ and soundless :3 too, 
For xDD you uWu have :3 stow'n uWu theiw UwU buzzing, ;;w;; Antony, 
xDD And xDD vewy wisely >_< thweat >w< befowe xDD you uWu sting. 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ Viwwains! >_> You uWu did nyot UwU so when x3 youw ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ daggews 
Hack'd one anyothew uWu in x3 the >w< sides of Caesaw. 
>_> You ^w^ show'd x3 youw teeth ^.^ wike ÚwÚ apes, ÚwÚ and uWu fawn'd ^.^ wike uWu hounds, 
xDD And uWu bow'd ^.^ wike ^w^ bondmen, xDD kissing Caesar's feet; 
Whilst uWu damnyed >w< Casca, ^.^ wike :3 a cur, x3 behind 
>_> Stwooke Caesaw on x3 the ;;w;; nyeck. x3 O xDD you flatterers! 
CASSIUS. Flatterers? >_> Nyow, >_> Bwutus, >_> thank OwO youwsewf. 
This >_> tongue xDD had nyot uWu offended UwU so today, 
;;w;; If >w< Cassius ^w^ might uWu have :33 wuwed. 
x3 OCTAVIUS. ^.^ Come, come, x3 the OwO cause. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ awguing >_< make >_> us >_> sweat, 
uWu The xDD pwoof of >w< it xDD wiww turn to uWu weddew ^.^ dwops. 
x3 Wook, 
UwU I dwaw :3 a xDD swowd OwO against ^-^ conspiwatows; 
x3 When think xDD you :3 that x3 the xDD swowd xDD goes x3 up ^w^ again? 
Nyevew, >w< tiww Caesar's >w< thwee ÚwÚ and ;;w;; thiwty wounds 
^w^ Be weww UwU avenged, ow >w< tiww anyothew Caesaw 
:3 Have >_< added >_> swaughtew to x3 the xDD swowd of twaitows. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ÚwÚ Caesaw, xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot ^-^ die ^.^ by >_> twaitows' ^.^ hands, 
OwO Unwess xDD thou x3 bwing'st them with thee. 
x3 OCTAVIUS. ^w^ So UwU I hope, 
UwU I UwU was nyot bown to ^-^ die on ^-^ Bwutus' ^-^ swowd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >_< O, >_> if xDD thou OwO wewt x3 the uWu nyobwest of >w< thy :33 stwain, 
Young ^w^ man, xDD thou ^w^ couwdst nyot ^-^ die ^.^ mowe x3 honyowabwe. 
CASSIUS. ^-^ A >_> peevish OwO schoow ^-^ boy, :33 wowthwess of xDD such honyow, 
Join'd with :3 a >_> maskew ÚwÚ and :3 a reveler! 
xDD ANTONY. ^-^ Owd >w< Cassius :33 stiww! 
x3 OCTAVIUS. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; Antony, away! 
Defiance, :3 twaitows, >_< huww ^.^ we uWu in x3 youw teeth. 
;;w;; If xDD you dawe >w< fight today, come to x3 the :3 fiewd; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, when xDD you uWu have ;;w;; stomachs. 
Exeunt uWu Octavius, ;;w;; Antony, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw Awmy. 
CASSIUS. Why, now, ^w^ bwow x3 and, sweww ÚwÚ biwwow, ÚwÚ and x3 swim bawk! 
uWu The x3 stowm >_> is up, ÚwÚ and aww >_> is on x3 the ÚwÚ hazawd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. >w< Ho, Lucilius! Hawk, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
LUCILIUS. uWu [Stands fowth.] OwO My xDD wowd? 
Brutus ÚwÚ and Lucilius convewse x3 apawt. 
CASSIUS. Messawa! 
:3 MESSAWA. uWu [Stands fowth.] >_> What ;;w;; says x3 my x3 genyewaw? 
CASSIUS. Messala, 
This >_> is x3 my xDD biwthday, >_< as ÚwÚ this xDD vewy day 
Was >w< Cassius born. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, :33 Messawa. 
^w^ Be xDD thou x3 my >_> witnyess :3 that, OwO against x3 my :33 wiww, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ Pompey UwU was, ^w^ am UwU I OwO compeww'd to uWu set 
>_> Upon one ÚwÚ battwe aww UwU ouw wibewties. 
>_> You ^.^ knyow :3 that UwU I hewd ;;w;; Epicuwus :33 stwong, 
xDD And :33 his opinyion. Now UwU I change x3 my UwU mind, 
xDD And ;;w;; pawtwy cwedit ^.^ things :3 that UwU do presage. 
OwO Coming from >w< Sawdis, on UwU ouw xDD fowmew ensign 
Two ^-^ mighty ^w^ eagwes fell, ÚwÚ and there ;;w;; they >_< pewch'd, 
:33 Gowging ÚwÚ and feeding from UwU ouw :3 sowdiews' ^.^ hands, 
Who to Philippi OwO hewe ^w^ consowted >_> us. 
This mownying OwO awe ;;w;; they ^w^ fwed OwO away ÚwÚ and >w< gonye, 
xDD And uWu in uWu theiw ^-^ steads UwU do ÚwÚ wavens, crows, ÚwÚ and :33 kites 
xDD Fwy ^-^ o'ew UwU ouw heads ÚwÚ and downward wook on us, 
;;w;; As ^.^ we :3 wewe >_> sickwy pwey. ^-^ Theiw ^-^ shadows xDD seem 
^-^ A >w< canyopy UwU most fatal, :33 undew which 
Our ^.^ awmy lies, ready to UwU give x3 up x3 the ghost. 
:3 MESSAWA. :3 Bewieve nyot :3 so. 
CASSIUS. UwU I >_> but ^-^ bewieve >w< it x3 pawtwy, 
For UwU I ^w^ am >w< fwesh of ^w^ spiwit ÚwÚ and resolved 
;;w;; To :3 meet aww perils xDD vewy OwO constantwy. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Even >_> so, uWu Wuciwius. 
CASSIUS. >_> Nyow, UwU most x3 nyobwe >_> Bwutus, 
uWu The gods today stand xDD fwiendwy :3 that ^.^ we may, 
x3 Wuvws uWu in ÚwÚ peace, lead on UwU ouw OwO days to >_> age! 
But, xDD since x3 the affairs of ;;w;; men xDD west still incertain, 
:3 Wet's reason with x3 the worst :3 that OwO may befaww. 
;;w;; If ^.^ we UwU do wose ÚwÚ this battwe, xDD then >_> is ÚwÚ this 
uWu The xDD vewy >w< wast time ^.^ we UwU shaww speak together. 
>_> What OwO awe xDD you xDD then :3 detewminyed to ^-^ do? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Even ^.^ by x3 the UwU wuwe of :3 that x3 phiwosophy 
^-^ By which UwU I uWu did uWu bwame uWu Cato fow x3 the :33 death 
>_< Which ^.^ he uWu did UwU give himself- UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot how, 
OwO But UwU I UwU do find >w< it >w< cowawdwy ÚwÚ and ^w^ viwe, 
For feaw of >_> what ^w^ might ^.^ faww, UwU so to ^w^ pwevent 
uWu The time of life- awming mysewf with uWu patience 
;;w;; To xDD stay x3 the >w< pwovidence of x3 some xDD high ÚwÚ powews 
:33 That >_< guvwn >_> us below. 
CASSIUS. Then, >_> if ^.^ we wose ÚwÚ this battwe, 
>_> You OwO awe UwU contented to be x3 wed uWu in twiumph 
Thowough x3 the ^w^ stweets of >w< Wome? 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Nyo, OwO Cassius, >w< nyo. ^w^ Think >_> nyot, xDD thou x3 nyobwe Woman, 
:33 That OwO evew Brutus xDD wiww OwO go bound to Rome; 
>w< He bears ^w^ too great :3 a :33 mind. OwO But ÚwÚ this same day 
:3 Must >w< end :3 that ^.^ wowk x3 the ides of March xDD begun. 
xDD And >w< whethew ^.^ we UwU shaww :3 meet again UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
Therefore UwU ouw everlasting >_< faweweww >_< take. 
Fowevew, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fowevew, farewell, Cassius! 
;;w;; If ^.^ we UwU do :3 meet OwO again, >w< why, ^.^ we UwU shaww smile; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, >w< why xDD then ÚwÚ this >w< pawting UwU was weww >_> made. 
CASSIUS. xDD Fowevew ÚwÚ and ^w^ fowevew farewell, >_> Bwutus! 
;;w;; If ^.^ we UwU do :3 meet OwO again, we'll ;;w;; smiwe :33 indeed; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, UwU 'tis true ÚwÚ this >w< pawting UwU was weww >_> made. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Why >w< then, lead :3 on. >_< O, :3 that :3 a x3 man ^w^ might ^.^ knyow 
uWu The >w< end of ÚwÚ this day's business ere >w< it >w< come! 
OwO But >w< it >w< sufficeth :3 that x3 the day xDD wiww ^w^ end, 
xDD And xDD then x3 the >w< end >_> is knyown. ^.^ Come, ho! >_> Away! :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The field of ^.^ battwe. 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew Brutus ÚwÚ and :33 Messawa. 

^w^ BWUTUS. Ride, ride, Messala, ride, ÚwÚ and UwU give these bills 
uWu Unto x3 the legions on x3 the othew ^w^ side. xDD Woud awawum. 
Let them uWu set on uWu at ^w^ once, fow UwU I >_> pewceive 
OwO But UwU cowd demeanor uWu in UwU Octavia's *hugs tightly* wing, 
xDD And ^.^ sudden :3 push ;;w;; gives them x3 the uvwthwow. 
Ride, ride, :33 Messawa. Let them aww come down. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_> fiewd. 

Alarums. Entew >w< Cassius ÚwÚ and Titinyius. 

CASSIUS. >_< O, look, Titinyius, look, x3 the x3 viwwains xDD fwy! 
xDD Mysewf uWu have to >_< minye UwU own >_> tuwn'd enemy. 
This ensign OwO hewe of >_< minye UwU was ;;w;; tuwnying back; 
UwU I >_< swew x3 the xDD cowawd, ÚwÚ and uWu did OwO take >w< it from ^.^ him. 
xDD TITINyIUS. x3 O OwO Cassius, Brutus uWu gave x3 the ;;w;; wowd ^w^ too xDD eawwy, 
UwU Who, xDD having x3 some ^w^ advantage on uWu Octavius, 
>w< Took >w< it ^w^ too ^w^ eagewwy. ÚwÚ His ^-^ sowdiews UwU feww to xDD spoiw, 
Whilst ^.^ we ^.^ by OwO Antony OwO awe aww ^-^ encwosed. 

Entew ^w^ Pindawus. 

:33 PINDAWUS. xDD Fwy further ^w^ off, x3 my uWu wowd, fwy further :33 off; 
>_> Mawk OwO Antony >_> is uWu in x3 youw tents, x3 my wowd; 
:33 Fwy, OwO thewefowe, x3 nyobwe OwO Cassius, fwy uWu faw off. 
CASSIUS. This hill >_> is uWu faw enyough. x3 Wook, look, ^w^ Titinyius: 
^w^ Awe UwU those x3 my tents :3 whewe UwU I >_> pewceive x3 the fiwe? 
xDD TITINyIUS. ^-^ They awe, x3 my OwO wowd. 
CASSIUS. Titinyius, >_> if xDD thou wuvst uWu me, 
^-^ Mount xDD thou x3 my UwU howse ÚwÚ and hide >w< thy :33 spuws uWu in :3 him, 
Tiww ^.^ he uWu have ^.^ bwought uWu thee x3 up to yonder troops 
xDD And OwO hewe OwO again, :3 that UwU I OwO may xDD west assured 
Whethew :33 yond troops OwO awe :33 fwiend ow enemy. 
xDD TITINyIUS. UwU I xDD wiww be OwO hewe OwO again, even with :3 a thought. ÚwÚ Exit. 
CASSIUS. ^w^ Go, Pindarus, get :3 highew on :3 that ^w^ hiww; 
OwO My ^.^ sight UwU was OwO evew thick; regard Titinyius, 
xDD And tell ;;w;; me >_> what xDD thou xDD nyotest about x3 the >_> fiewd. 
UwU Pindawus >_> ascends x3 the hiww. 
This day UwU I >w< bweathed first: time >_> is come ^-^ wound, 
xDD And :3 whewe UwU I uWu did :3 begin, there UwU shaww UwU I ^w^ end; 
OwO My >w< wife >_> is >w< wun :33 his UwU compass. Siwwah, >_> what nyews? 
:33 PINDAWUS. UwU [Abuv.] x3 O x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
CASSIUS. >_> What nyews? 
:33 PINDAWUS. UwU [Abuv.] Titinyius >_> is :33 encwosed ;;w;; wound about 
With howsemen, :3 that >_< make to ^.^ him on x3 the UwU spuw; 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ he :33 spuws :3 on. Now ;;w;; they OwO awe almost on ^.^ him. 
>_> Nyow, uWu Titinyius! Now x3 some light. >_< O, ^.^ he wights UwU too. 
He's >_> ta'en >_< [Shout.] ^.^ And, x3 hawk! ^-^ They >_> shout fow ^-^ joy. 
CASSIUS. :3 Come down; behowd nyo more. 
>_< O, x3 cowawd :3 that UwU I am, to ^w^ wive UwU so long, 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 my best :33 fwiend >_> ta'en >w< befowe x3 my :3 face! 
UwU Pindawus :33 descends. 
:3 Come hithew, sirrah. 
^w^ In Pawthia uWu did UwU I OwO take uWu thee pwisonyew, 
xDD And xDD then UwU I >w< swowe ÚwÚ thee, OwO saving of >w< thy :3 wife, 
:33 That ^-^ whatsoevew UwU I uWu did bid uWu thee UwU do, 
^.^ Thou shouwdst x3 attempt :3 it. :3 Come now, >_< keep ^.^ thinye uWu oath; 
Now be :3 a fweeman, ÚwÚ and with ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good uWu swowd, 
:33 That wan ^w^ thwough Caesar's bowews, ^-^ seawch ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ bosom. 
;;w;; Stand nyot to :33 answew: UwU hewe, OwO take xDD thou x3 the :33 hiwts; 
xDD And when x3 my OwO face >_> is :3 cuvw'd, >_< as UwU 'tis now, 
;;w;; Guide xDD thou x3 the ^-^ swowd. xDD [Pindawus >_> stabs uWu him.] ÚwÚ Caesaw, xDD thou awt 
wevenged, 
Even with x3 the xDD swowd :3 that kill'd thee. >_< Dies. 
:33 PINDAWUS. So, UwU I ^w^ am >w< fwee, yet ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU so uWu have ^-^ been, 
:3 Duwst UwU I uWu have donye x3 my :33 wiww. x3 O Cassius! 
>_< Faw from ÚwÚ this countwy UwU Pindawus UwU shaww uWu wun, 
Whewe >_< nyevew Roman UwU shaww OwO take ^-^ nyote of ^.^ him. ÚwÚ Exit. 

^.^ We-entew Titinyius with :33 Messawa. 

:3 MESSAWA. ^.^ It >_> is >_> but >_< change, Titinyius, fow Octavius 
Is overthrown ^.^ by x3 nyobwe ^-^ Bwutus' x3 powew, 
;;w;; As uWu Cassius' legions OwO awe ^.^ by Antony. 
xDD TITINyIUS. ;;w;; These UwU tidings ^.^ wouwd weww uWu comfowt UwU Cassius. 
:3 MESSAWA. Whewe uWu did xDD you OwO weave him? 
xDD TITINyIUS. All disconsolate, 
With UwU Pindawus :33 his ÚwÚ bondman, on ÚwÚ this hiww. 
:3 MESSAWA. Is nyot :3 that ^.^ he :3 that wies ;;w;; upon x3 the ground? 
xDD TITINyIUS. >w< He wies nyot ^.^ wike x3 the ^-^ wiving. x3 O x3 my :33 heawt! 
:3 MESSAWA. Is nyot :3 that uWu he? 
xDD TITINyIUS. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ this UwU was xDD he, Messala, 
OwO But >w< Cassius >_> is nyo more. x3 O >w< setting sun, 
;;w;; As uWu in >w< thy red ways xDD thou dost sink to night, 
^w^ So uWu in :33 his red :3 bwood uWu Cassius' day >_> is ^-^ set, 
uWu The sun of ÚwÚ Wome >_> is uWu set! Our day >_> is xDD gonye; 
>_> Cwouds, dews, ÚwÚ and >_> dangews >_< come; UwU ouw >_< deeds OwO awe uWu donye! 
Mistrust of x3 my >w< success hath donye ÚwÚ this UwU deed. 
:3 MESSAWA. Mistrust of ÚwÚ good >w< success hath donye ÚwÚ this UwU deed. 
x3 O hateful error, >w< mewanchowy's child, 
Why dost xDD thou x3 show to x3 the ^-^ apt >_< thoughts of ;;w;; men 
uWu The ^.^ things :3 that OwO awe ^w^ nyot? x3 O error, >w< soon ^.^ conceived, 
^.^ Thou >_< nyevew comest >w< unto :3 a ^w^ happy birth, 
OwO But ^-^ kiww'st x3 the mothew :3 that engendew'd uWu thee! 
xDD TITINyIUS. What, ;;w;; Pindawus! Whewe awt UwU thou, Pindarus? 
:3 MESSAWA. ;;w;; Seek :3 him, Titinyius, whiwst UwU I OwO go to :3 meet 
uWu The x3 nyobwe >_> Bwutus, ^-^ thwusting ÚwÚ this wepowt 
^.^ Into :33 his ears. UwU I OwO may >_> say ^w^ "thwusting" :33 it, 
For piewcing steew ÚwÚ and >_< dawts envenyomed 
Shall be >_< as wewcome to x3 the OwO eaws of Brutus 
;;w;; As UwU tidings of ÚwÚ this :33 sight. 
xDD TITINyIUS. Hie UwU you, Messala, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww >_> seek fow UwU Pindawus x3 the >_> whiwe. uWu Exit :33 Messawa. 
Why :33 didst xDD thou >_> send ;;w;; me ^-^ fowth, >_< bwave xDD Cassius? 
Did UwU I nyot :3 meet >w< thy friends? xDD And uWu did nyot ;;w;; they 
>_> Put on x3 my ^w^ bwows ÚwÚ this wreath of ;;w;; victowy, 
xDD And bid ;;w;; me UwU give >w< it thee? ;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot hear uWu theiw >_< shouts? 
ÚwÚ Awas, xDD thou x3 hast :33 misconstwued ^.^ evewything! 
But, howd ÚwÚ thee, OwO take ÚwÚ this gawwand on >w< thy brow; 
x3 Thy Brutus bid ;;w;; me UwU give >w< it ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
Will UwU do :33 his xDD bidding. >_> Bwutus, come xDD apace, 
xDD And >_> see >w< how UwU I :3 wegawded :3 Caius UwU Cassius. 
^-^ By x3 youw weave, uWu gods, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a Roman's part. 
^.^ Come, uWu Cassius' uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and find ;;w;; Titinyius' ;;w;; heawt. 
Kiwws himself. 

;;w;; Awawum. ^.^ We-entew Messala, with >_> Bwutus, xDD young :33 Cato, 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. 

^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Whewe, where, Messala, xDD doth :33 his >w< body wie? 
:3 MESSAWA. Lo, :33 yondew, ÚwÚ and Titinyius >w< mouwnying :3 it. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ;;w;; Titinyius' OwO face >_> is ^-^ upwawd. 
:33 CATO. >w< He >_> is ^w^ swain. 
^w^ BWUTUS. x3 O Julius ÚwÚ Caesaw, xDD thou awt ^-^ mighty UwU yet! 
x3 Thy ^w^ spiwit >w< wawks >_> abwoad, ÚwÚ and tuwns UwU ouw :33 swowds 
^w^ In UwU ouw UwU own OwO pwopew entwaiws. Low ^.^ awawums. 
:33 CATO. ^-^ Bwave uWu Titinyius! 
Wook whe'er ^.^ he uWu have nyot cwown'd >_< dead Cassius! 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^w^ Awe yet >w< two Romans UwU wiving xDD such >_< as xDD these? 
uWu The >w< wast of aww x3 the uWu Womans, ^-^ fawe uWu thee OwO weww! 
^.^ It >_> is xDD impossibwe :3 that OwO evew ÚwÚ Wome 
Should breed >w< thy UwU fewwow. Friends, UwU I >_> owe ^-^ moe tears 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this >_< dead x3 man than xDD you UwU shaww >_> see ;;w;; me :3 pay. 
UwU I UwU shaww find time, OwO Cassius, UwU I UwU shaww find uWu time. 
:3 Come OwO thewefowe, ÚwÚ and to >w< Thasos >_> send :33 his >w< body; 
ÚwÚ His funerals UwU shaww nyot be uWu in UwU ouw :3 camp, 
Lest >w< it ^.^ discomfowt >_> us. Wuciwius, come, 
xDD And come, xDD young uWu Cato; wet >_> us to x3 the >_> fiewd. 
Labio ÚwÚ and uWu Fwavio, uWu set UwU ouw :3 battwes :3 on. 
'Tis >w< thwee o'clock, ÚwÚ and uWu Womans, yet ere >w< nyight 
We UwU shaww >_> twy :3 fowtunye uWu in :3 a second ^w^ fight. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_> fiewd. 

;;w;; Awawum. OwO Entew, fighting, >_> Sowdiews of both awmies; xDD then >_> Bwutus, xDD young :33 Cato, 
Wuciwius, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. 

^w^ BWUTUS. Yet, ÚwÚ countwymen, >_< O, yet howd x3 up x3 youw uWu heads! 
:33 CATO. >_> What ^.^ bastawd xDD doth ^w^ nyot? Who xDD wiww OwO go with me? 
UwU I xDD wiww :3 pwocwaim x3 my xDD nyame about x3 the >_> fiewd. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the >_< son of x3 Mawcus :33 Cato, ho! 
^-^ A foe to x3 tywants, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> countwy's :3 fwiend. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the >_< son of x3 Mawcus :33 Cato, ho! 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD And UwU I ^w^ am >_> Bwutus, x3 Mawcus >_> Bwutus, x3 I; 
>_> Bwutus, x3 my >_> countwy's fwiend; ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me fow >_> Bwutus! ÚwÚ Exit. 
LUCILIUS. x3 O xDD young ÚwÚ and x3 nyobwe :33 Cato, awt xDD thou down? 
Why, nyow xDD thou ^.^ diest >_< as bravely >_< as Titinyius, 
xDD And uWu mayst be ^.^ honyow'd, ^.^ being ^.^ Cato's OwO son. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. ÚwÚ Yiewd, ow xDD thou :33 diest. 
LUCILIUS. Onwy UwU I yield to die. 
ÚwÚ [Offews ^w^ monyey.] >_> Thewe >_> is UwU so much :3 that xDD thou wiwt OwO kiww ;;w;; me >_> stwaight: 
ÚwÚ Kiww >_> Bwutus, ÚwÚ and be UwU honyow'd uWu in :33 his death. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. We ^w^ must not. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe prisoner! 
^w^ SECOND uWu SOWDIEW. Woom, ho! Teww ;;w;; Antony, Brutus >_> is :33 ta'en. 
uWu FIWST uWu SOWDIEW. I'll tell x3 the ;;w;; nyews. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the genyewaw. 

Entew Antony. 

Brutus >_> is x3 ta'en, Brutus >_> is x3 ta'en, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD ANTONY. Whewe >_> is uWu he? 
LUCILIUS. ;;w;; Safe, ;;w;; Antony, Brutus >_> is >_< safe enyough. 
UwU I dawe :33 assuwe uWu thee :3 that nyo ;;w;; enyemy 
Shall OwO evew OwO take ^.^ awive x3 the x3 nyobwe Brutus; 
uWu The gods ;;w;; defend ^.^ him from UwU so great :3 a x3 shame! 
x3 When xDD you UwU do find :3 him, ow ^.^ awive ow >_< dead, 
>w< He xDD wiww be >_> found ^.^ wike >_> Bwutus, ^.^ wike himself. 
xDD ANTONY. This >_> is nyot >_> Bwutus, fwiend, but, UwU I :33 assuwe UwU you, 
^-^ A >w< pwize nyo less uWu in uWu wowth. ^w^ Keep ÚwÚ this x3 man safe, 
Give ^.^ him aww kindness; UwU I xDD had rather uWu have 
>w< Such ;;w;; men x3 my ^w^ fwiends than enemies. Go ;;w;; on, 
xDD And >_> see wheew Brutus be ^.^ awive ow >_< dead, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing >_> us ;;w;; wowd >w< unto :3 Octavius' ^w^ tent 
How evewything >_> is chanced. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE V. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_> fiewd. 

Entew >_> Bwutus, :33 Dawdanyius, xDD Cwitus, Stwato, ÚwÚ and OwO Vowumnyius. 

^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ Come, poor remains of OwO fwiends, xDD west on ÚwÚ this ^-^ wock. 
;;w;; CWITUS. Statiwius ^w^ show'd x3 the towchwight, but, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>w< He ^-^ came nyot back. >w< He >_> is ow >_> ta'en ow ^w^ swain. 
^w^ BWUTUS. xDD Sit uWu thee ;;w;; down, x3 Cwitus. ^-^ Swaying >_> is x3 the wowd: 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a ^.^ deed uWu in fashion. ^.^ Hawk ÚwÚ thee, x3 Cwitus. x3 Whispews. 
;;w;; CWITUS. What, I, x3 my xDD wowd? :3 Nyo, nyot fow aww x3 the wowwd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Peace >w< then, nyo ÚwÚ wowds. 
;;w;; CWITUS. I'll rather OwO kiww :3 mysewf. 
^w^ BWUTUS. ^.^ Hawk ÚwÚ thee, Dawdanyius. x3 Whispews. 
x3 DAWDANyIUS. Shall UwU I UwU do xDD such :3 a deed? 
;;w;; CWITUS. x3 O Dardanius! 
x3 DAWDANyIUS. x3 O ^.^ Cwitus! 
;;w;; CWITUS. >_> What :33 iww request uWu did Brutus >_< make to thee? 
x3 DAWDANyIUS. ;;w;; To OwO kiww :3 him, x3 Cwitus. x3 Wook, ^.^ he OwO meditates. 
;;w;; CWITUS. Now >_> is :3 that x3 nyobwe vessel full of gwief, 
:33 That >w< it wuns uvw even uWu at :33 his :3 eyes. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :3 Come hithew, ÚwÚ good UwU Vowumnyius, ÚwÚ wist :3 a OwO wowd. 
>_> VOWUMNyIUS. >_> What ;;w;; says x3 my xDD wowd? 
^w^ BWUTUS. Why, uWu this, uWu Vowumnyius: 
uWu The xDD ghost of Caesaw hath appear'd to ;;w;; me 
Two sevewaw times ^.^ by ^w^ nyight; uWu at ÚwÚ Sawdis ^w^ once, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >w< wast >w< nyight OwO hewe uWu in Philippi ^-^ fiewds. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my >_> houw >_> is x3 come. 
>_> VOWUMNyIUS. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. Nyay UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe >w< it ;;w;; is, OwO Vowumnyius. 
^.^ Thou seest x3 the ^w^ wowwd, UwU Vowumnyius, >w< how >w< it :33 goes; 
Our >_< enyemies uWu have xDD beat >_> us to x3 the ^-^ pit; Low ^.^ awawums. 
^.^ It >_> is ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ wowthy to ^-^ weap uWu in ouwsewves 
Than ^.^ tawwy >w< tiww ;;w;; they :3 push >_> us. ^-^ Good UwU Vowumnyius, 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st :3 that ^.^ we >w< two OwO went to OwO schoow together; 
Even fow :3 that UwU ouw wuv of :3 owd, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, 
:33 Howd xDD thou x3 my ^w^ swowd-hiwts, whiwst UwU I >w< wun on :3 it. 
>_> VOWUMNyIUS. >w< That's nyot >w< an ^.^ office fow :3 a fwiend, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Alarum xDD stiww. 
;;w;; CWITUS. :33 Fwy, fly, x3 my uWu wowd, there >_> is nyo >_< tawwying hewe. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Faweweww to UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU you, OwO Vowumnyius. 
Stwato, xDD thou x3 hast :33 been aww ÚwÚ this OwO whiwe x3 asweep; 
UwU Faweweww to uWu thee :3 too, ^-^ Stwato. Countrymen, 
OwO My >_< heawt xDD doth joy :3 that yet uWu in aww x3 my >w< wife 
UwU I >_> found nyo x3 man >_> but ^.^ he UwU was true to x3 me. 
UwU I UwU shaww uWu have :3 gwowy ^.^ by ÚwÚ this losing ^-^ day, 
uWu Mowe than Octavius ÚwÚ and >_> Mawk OwO Antony 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this ^-^ viwe conquest UwU shaww :3 attain UwU unto. 
So, ^-^ fawe xDD you weww uWu at ^w^ once, fow ^-^ Bwutus' >_> tongue 
>_< Hath almost >_< ended :33 his ^w^ wife's history. 
>w< Nyight uWu hangs ;;w;; upon >_< minye ^w^ eyes, x3 my bones ^.^ wouwd xDD west 
:33 That uWu have >_> but >_< wabow'd to :3 attain ÚwÚ this hour. 
;;w;; Awawum. Cwy :33 within, "Fwy, fly, >_> fwy!" 
;;w;; CWITUS. :33 Fwy, x3 my uWu wowd, fwy. 
^w^ BWUTUS. :33 Hence! UwU I xDD wiww x3 fowwow. 
Exeunt xDD Cwitus, :33 Dawdanyius, ÚwÚ and OwO Vowumnyius. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, Stwato, xDD stay xDD thou ^.^ by >w< thy OwO wowd. 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a fewwow of :3 a ÚwÚ good respect; 
x3 Thy >w< wife hath xDD had x3 some smatch of honyow uWu in :3 it. 
:33 Howd xDD then x3 my uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and turn OwO away >w< thy >w< face, 
While UwU I UwU do >w< wun ;;w;; upon :3 it. ;;w;; Wiwt UwU thou, Strato? 
STRATO. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand fiwst. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ BWUTUS. UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good ^-^ Stwato. ;;w;; Wuns on :33 his ^-^ swowd. 
ÚwÚ Caesaw, nyow be stiww; 
UwU I kill'd nyot uWu thee with half UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a :33 wiww. >_< Dies. 

;;w;; Awawum. >w< Wetweat. Entew uWu Octavius, ;;w;; Antony, Messala, 
Wuciwius, ÚwÚ and x3 the Awmy. 

x3 OCTAVIUS. >_> What x3 man >_> is ^-^ that? 
:3 MESSAWA. OwO My xDD mastew's man. Stwato, :3 whewe >_> is >w< thy ÚwÚ mastew? 
STRATO. Fwee from x3 the :3 bondage xDD you OwO awe x3 in, Messawa: 
uWu The ÚwÚ conquewows ^.^ can >_> but >_< make :3 a fire of him; 
For Brutus >w< onwy overcame himsewf, 
xDD And nyo x3 man >_> ewse hath honyow ^.^ by :33 his death. 
LUCILIUS. ^w^ So Brutus >_> shouwd be uWu found. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, >_> Bwutus, 
:33 That xDD thou x3 hast >_> pwuvd Wuciwius' :3 saying true. 
x3 OCTAVIUS. All :3 that OwO sewved >_> Bwutus, UwU I xDD wiww entertain OwO them. 
ÚwÚ Fewwow, wiwt xDD thou bestow >w< thy time with me? 
STRATO. Ay, >_> if uWu Messawa xDD wiww prefer ;;w;; me to OwO you. 
x3 OCTAVIUS. Do >_> so, ÚwÚ good :33 Messawa. 
:3 MESSAWA. How >w< died x3 my ^.^ mastew, Strato? 
STRATO. UwU I hewd x3 the uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he uWu did >w< wun on :3 it. 
:3 MESSAWA. uWu Octavius, xDD then OwO take ^.^ him to ;;w;; fowwow uWu thee 
:33 That uWu did x3 the ^-^ watest OwO sewvice to x3 my master. 
xDD ANTONY. This UwU was x3 the uWu nyobwest Roman of them all. 
All x3 the conspiwatows, :3 save >w< onwy xDD he, 
Did :3 that ;;w;; they uWu did uWu in :3 envy of great OwO Caesaw; 
>w< He >_> onwy, uWu in :3 a general xDD honyest xDD thought 
xDD And ^w^ common ÚwÚ good to all, UwU made one of OwO them. 
ÚwÚ His >w< wife UwU was gentwe, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ ewements 
^w^ So ;;w;; mix'd uWu in ^.^ him :3 that ÚwÚ Nyatuwe ^w^ might stand x3 up 
xDD And >_> say to aww x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ;;w;; "This UwU was :3 a >_< man!" 
x3 OCTAVIUS. x3 Accowding to :33 his viwtue wet >_> us use ^.^ him 
With aww wespect ÚwÚ and rites of OwO buwiaw. 
OwO Within x3 my ^w^ tent :33 his bones :3 tonyight UwU shaww wie, 
:3 Most ^.^ wike :3 a sowdiew, owdewed x3 honyowabwy. 
^w^ So caww x3 the field to ^-^ west, ÚwÚ and >_> wet's away, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ pawt x3 the :33 gwowies of ÚwÚ this ^w^ happy x3 day. :33 Exeunt. 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 






1606 


^-^ THE uWu TWAGEDY ÚwÚ OF ;;w;; KING :33 WEAW 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 




Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

Lear, ^w^ King of ;;w;; Bwitain. 
^w^ King of Fwance. 
>w< Duke of ^-^ Buwgundy. 
>w< Duke of :3 Cownwaww. 
>w< Duke of ;;w;; Awbany. 
^-^ Eaww of Kent. 
^-^ Eaww of ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
:33 Edgaw, >_< son of ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
:3 Edmund, ^.^ bastawd >_< son to ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
>w< Cuwan, :3 a courtier. 
^-^ Owd >_< Man, tenant to ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
xDD Doctow. 
Lear's ^w^ Foow. 
OwO Oswawd, steward to ^-^ Gonyewiw. 
^-^ A uWu Captain :33 undew ^-^ Edmund's >_> command. 
:33 Gentwemen. 
^-^ A UwU Hewawd. 
Servants to :3 Cownwaww. 

Gonyewiw, daughter to >w< Weaw. 
x3 Wegan, daughter to >w< Weaw. 
Cowdewia, daughter to >w< Weaw. 

^-^ Knyights :33 attending on Lear, ^-^ Officews, Messengews, Soldiers, 
xDD Attendants. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



Scene: - ;;w;; Bwitain. 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. Scene ^.^ I. 
>w< [King Lear's Pawace.] 

Entew UwU Kent, :33 Gwoucestew, ÚwÚ and Edmund. [Kent ÚwÚ and Glouceste convewse. 
Edmund >w< stands >_< back.] 

Kent. UwU I xDD thought x3 the ^w^ King xDD had ^.^ mowe affected x3 the >w< Duke of Albany than 
:3 Cownwaww. 
Gwou. ^.^ It uWu did awways xDD seem UwU so to us; >_> but now, uWu in x3 the OwO division of x3 the 
:33 kingdom, >w< it >_> appeaws nyot which of x3 the >_> Dukes ^.^ he :3 vawues :3 most, fow 
uWu equawities OwO awe UwU so x3 weigh'd :3 that curiosity uWu in :3 nyeithew ^.^ can >_< make 
UwU choice of uWu eithew's moiety. 
Kent. Is nyot ÚwÚ this x3 youw x3 son, x3 my xDD wowd? 
Gwou. ÚwÚ His uWu bweeding, ^w^ siw, hath :33 been uWu at x3 my chawge. UwU I uWu have UwU so often 
blush'd to :3 acknyowwedge ^.^ him :3 that nyow UwU I ^w^ am braz'd to't. 
Kent. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot :33 conceive OwO you. 
Gwou. UwU Siw, ÚwÚ this xDD young fellow's mothew ÚwÚ couwd; whereupon ^.^ she ^-^ gwew 
x3 wound-womb'd, ÚwÚ and xDD had :33 indeed, ^w^ siw, :3 a >_< son fow her >_> cwadwe ere ^.^ she 
xDD had :3 a :33 husband fow her :3 bed. Do xDD you smell :3 a xDD fauwt? 
Kent. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ wish x3 the ;;w;; fauwt >_< undonye, x3 the x3 issue of >w< it ^.^ being UwU so 
proper. 
Gwou. OwO But UwU I have, ^w^ siw, :3 a >_< son ^.^ by order of waw, x3 some xDD yeaw :33 ewdew than 
uWu this, who yet >_> is nyo ÚwÚ deawew uWu in x3 my OwO account. ;;w;; Though ÚwÚ this x3 knyave ^-^ came 
^-^ something ^w^ sauciwy x3 into x3 the wowwd >w< befowe ^.^ he UwU was sent for, yet UwU was 
:33 his mothew faiw, there UwU was ÚwÚ good spowt uWu at :33 his >_> making, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
UwU whoweson ^w^ must be OwO acknyowwedged.- Do xDD you ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe gentweman, 
>_> Edmund? 
ÚwÚ Edm. ;;w;; [comes forward] :3 Nyo, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Gwou. OwO My Lord of Kent. ÚwÚ Wemembew ^.^ him heweaftew >_< as x3 my ^.^ honyouwabwe 
:3 fwiend. 
ÚwÚ Edm. OwO My >_< sewvices to x3 youw wowdship. 
Kent. UwU I ^w^ must wuv UwU you, ÚwÚ and sue to ^.^ knyow xDD you ^-^ bettew. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ study desewving. 
Gwou. >w< He hath :33 been x3 out >w< nyinye years, ÚwÚ and OwO away ^.^ he UwU shaww ;;w;; again. 
Sound :3 a sennet. 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> is :3 coming. 

Entew one :33 beawing :3 a >_< cowonyet; xDD then Lear; xDD then x3 the >_> Dukes of 
Albany ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Cownwaww; next, Gonyewiw, x3 Wegan, Cowdewia, with 
xDD Fowwowews. 

>w< Weaw. uWu Attend x3 the wowds of Fwance ÚwÚ and x3 Buwgundy, ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
Gwou. UwU I UwU shaww, x3 my OwO wiege. 
Exeunt uWu [Gwoucestew ÚwÚ and Edmund]. 
>w< Weaw. >w< Meantime ^.^ we UwU shaww express UwU ouw dawkew puwpose. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 the ^.^ map :33 thewe. xDD Knyow ^.^ we uWu have OwO divided 
^w^ In >w< thwee UwU ouw >_< kingdom; ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis UwU ouw ÚwÚ fast :3 intent 
;;w;; To ;;w;; shake aww ÚwÚ cawes ÚwÚ and business from UwU ouw age, 
Conferring them on :3 youngew strengths OwO whiwe ^.^ we 
Unburthen'd cwaww toward death. Our >_< son of ;;w;; Cownwaww, 
xDD And UwU you, UwU ouw nyo less >w< woving >_< son of Albany, 
We uWu have ÚwÚ this >_> houw :3 a ^w^ constant xDD wiww to xDD pubwish 
Our >_> daughtews' sevewaw >_> dowews, :3 that ÚwÚ futuwe uWu stwife 
^-^ May be prevented now. uWu The >_< pwinces, Fwance ÚwÚ and x3 Buwgundy, 
UwU Gweat xDD wivaws uWu in UwU ouw xDD youngest ^w^ daughtew's xDD wuv, 
OwO Wong uWu in UwU ouw court uWu have UwU made uWu theiw :3 amowous :3 sojouwn, 
xDD And OwO hewe OwO awe to be ^w^ answew'd. Teww uWu me, x3 my >_> daughtews 
(Since nyow ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< divest >_> us both of rule, 
ÚwÚ Intewest of tewwitowy, ÚwÚ cawes of state), 
>_< Which of xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ we >_> say xDD doth wuv >_> us ^-^ most? 
:33 That ^.^ we UwU ouw largest >_> bounty OwO may :3 extend 
Whewe ÚwÚ nyatuwe xDD doth with merit chawwenge. Gonyewiw, 
Our eldest-born, speak fiwst. 
Gon. UwU Siw, UwU I wuv xDD you ^.^ mowe than wowds ^.^ can OwO wiewd x3 the mattew; 
>_> Deawew than eyesight, space, ÚwÚ and xDD wibewty; 
^.^ Beyond >_> what ^.^ can be >_< vawued, rich ow :3 wawe; 
No less than :3 wife, with gwace, :33 heawth, >w< beauty, honour; 
;;w;; As much >_< as chiwd ;;w;; e'ew ;;w;; wov'd, ow >w< fathew xDD found; 
^-^ A wuv :3 that x3 makes UwU bweath OwO poow, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ speech unyabwe. 
^.^ Beyond aww ^w^ mannyew of UwU so much UwU I wuv OwO you. 
OwO Cow. >w< [aside] >_> What UwU shaww >_< Cowdewia x3 speak? Wuv, ÚwÚ and be ^-^ siwent. 
>w< Weaw. Of aww these UwU bounds, even from ÚwÚ this winye to uWu this, 
With shadowy uWu fowests ÚwÚ and with ÚwÚ champains wich'd, 
With ^w^ pwenteous rivers ÚwÚ and ^w^ wide-skiwted ^.^ meads, 
We >_< make uWu thee >_> wady. ;;w;; To ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ and Awbany's x3 issue 
^w^ Be ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pewpetuaw.- >_> What ;;w;; says UwU ouw second ^w^ daughtew, 
Our deawest x3 Wegan, >w< wife to Cownwaww? :33 Speak. 
Weg. UwU Siw, UwU I ^w^ am UwU made 
Of x3 the x3 sewfsame >_< metaw :3 that x3 my :3 sistew ;;w;; is, 
xDD And >w< pwize ;;w;; me uWu at her uWu wowth. ^w^ In x3 my true >_< heawt 
UwU I find ^.^ she nyames x3 my xDD vewy ^.^ deed of love; 
Onwy ^.^ she x3 comes ^w^ too ^.^ showt, :3 that UwU I pwofess 
xDD Mysewf >w< an ;;w;; enyemy to aww othew joys 
>_< Which x3 the UwU most >_< pwecious square of sense ;;w;; possesses, 
xDD And find UwU I ^w^ am awonye ^.^ fewicitate 
^w^ In x3 youw uWu deaw Highness' love. 
OwO Cow. >w< [aside] UwU Then poor Cowdewia! 
xDD And yet nyot so; xDD since UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe x3 my love's 
uWu Mowe xDD wichew than x3 my :33 tongue. 
>w< Weaw. ;;w;; To uWu thee ÚwÚ and ^.^ thinye heweditawy OwO evew 
Remain ÚwÚ this uWu ampwe thiwd of UwU ouw >w< faiw :33 kingdom, 
No less uWu in space, uWu vawidity, ÚwÚ and :3 pweasuwe 
Than :3 that :33 confeww'd on Gonyewiw.- >_> Nyow, UwU ouw joy, 
Awthough x3 the last, nyot least; to x3 whose xDD young wuv 
uWu The vines of Fwance ÚwÚ and milk of ÚwÚ Buwgundy 
Stwive to be interest; >_> what ^.^ can xDD you >_> say to dwaw 
^-^ A thiwd ^.^ mowe UwU opuwent than x3 youw sistews? :33 Speak. 
OwO Cow. UwU Nyothing, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>w< Weaw. Nothing? 
OwO Cow. >_> Nyothing. 
>w< Weaw. Nyothing ^.^ can come of OwO nyothing. ^w^ Speak ;;w;; again. 
OwO Cow. Unhappy :3 that UwU I am, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot x3 heave 
OwO My >_< heawt x3 into x3 my xDD mouth. UwU I wuv x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
x3 Accowding to x3 my bond; nyo ^.^ mowe nor :3 wess. 
>w< Weaw. How, how, ^.^ Cowdewia? Mend x3 youw ÚwÚ speech :3 a UwU wittwe, 
Lest >w< it OwO may >_> maw x3 youw fortunes. 
OwO Cow. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> You uWu have ^.^ begot uWu me, bwed uWu me, :3 wov'd OwO me; UwU I 
Return UwU those >_> duties back >_< as OwO awe >w< wight >w< fit, 
;;w;; Obey UwU you, wuv UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU most honour OwO you. 
Why uWu have x3 my ÚwÚ sistews uWu husbands, >_> if ;;w;; they >_> say 
^-^ They wuv xDD you ÚwÚ aww? Haply, when UwU I UwU shaww ;;w;; wed, 
:33 That ;;w;; wowd x3 whose uWu hand ^w^ must OwO take x3 my plight UwU shaww carry 
>_> Hawf x3 my wuv with :3 him, half x3 my :3 cawe ÚwÚ and duty. 
Sure UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew marry ^.^ wike x3 my sistews, 
;;w;; To wuv x3 my >w< fathew all. 
>w< Weaw. OwO But xDD goes >w< thy >_< heawt with :3 this? 
OwO Cow. Ay, ÚwÚ good x3 my OwO wowd. 
>w< Weaw. ^w^ So >_> young, ÚwÚ and UwU so x3 untendew? 
OwO Cow. ^w^ So >_> young, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and true. 
>w< Weaw. Let >w< it be so! >w< thy uWu twuth xDD then be >w< thy dower! 
For, ^.^ by x3 the uWu sacwed >_> wadiance of x3 the sun, 
uWu The >_> mystewies of ^.^ Hecate ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ nyight; 
^-^ By aww x3 the x3 opewation of x3 the owbs 
Fwom ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we UwU do UwU exist ÚwÚ and xDD cease to be; 
:3 Hewe UwU I ;;w;; discwaim aww x3 my ^.^ patewnyaw care, 
Propinquity ÚwÚ and uWu pwopewty of bwood, 
xDD And >_< as :3 a stwangew to x3 my >_< heawt ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me 
:33 Howd uWu thee from ÚwÚ this fow ever. uWu The barbarous Scythian, 
:33 Ow ^.^ he :3 that x3 makes :33 his OwO genyewation messes 
;;w;; To xDD gowge :33 his uWu appetite, UwU shaww to x3 my ^w^ bosom 
^w^ Be >_< as weww nyeighbouw'd, >_< pitied, ÚwÚ and reliev'd, 
;;w;; As xDD thou x3 my ÚwÚ sometime >w< daughtew. 
Kent. ^-^ Good x3 my ^w^ wiege- 
>w< Weaw. uWu Peace, Kent! 
:3 Come nyot ^-^ between x3 the >_> dwagon ÚwÚ and :33 his wrath. 
UwU I :3 wov'd her :3 most, ÚwÚ and xDD thought to uWu set x3 my xDD west 
On her uWu kind :33 nyuwsewy.- OwO Hence ÚwÚ and avoid x3 my sight!- 
^w^ So be x3 my :3 gwave x3 my uWu peace >_< as OwO hewe UwU I UwU give 
:3 Hew father's >_< heawt from >_> hew! ;;w;; Caww France! Who xDD stiws? 
;;w;; Caww Burgundy! >_> Cownwaww ÚwÚ and Albany, 
With x3 my >w< two >_> daughtews' OwO dowews digest ÚwÚ this thiwd; 
Let pride, which ^.^ she ;;w;; cawws plainness, marry her. 
UwU I UwU do ;;w;; invest xDD you jointly uWu in x3 my x3 powew, 
xDD Pweeminyence, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the large UwU effects 
:33 That troop with :33 majesty. Ourself, ^.^ by >w< monthwy course, 
With wesewvation of >w< an :3 hundwed knights, 
^-^ By xDD you to be :3 sustain'd, UwU shaww UwU ouw >_< abode 
^-^ Make with xDD you ^.^ by >_< due tuwns. Onwy ^.^ we still ^.^ wetain 
uWu The :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and aww x3 th' ^w^ additions to :3 a king. uWu The sway, 
>w< Wevenyue, :33 execution of x3 the ^-^ west, 
>_< Bewuvd sons, be OwO youws; which to xDD confiwm, 
This >_< cowonyet ÚwÚ pawt betwixt OwO you. 
Kent. >_> Woyaw Lear, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I uWu have OwO evew :3 honyouw'd >_< as x3 my OwO king, 
UwU Wov'd >_< as x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, >_< as x3 my >_< mastew follow'd, 
;;w;; As x3 my great patron xDD thought on uWu in x3 my prayers- 
>w< Weaw. uWu The bow >_> is UwU bent ÚwÚ and drawn; >_< make from x3 the shaft. 
Kent. Let >w< it faww UwU wathew, ^w^ though x3 the ^w^ fowk invade 
uWu The wegion of x3 my :33 heawt! ^w^ Be Kent uWu unmannyewwy 
x3 When :3 Weaw >_> is >_> mad. >_> What wouldst xDD thou UwU do, ;;w;; owd man? 
x3 Think'st xDD thou :3 that >_> duty UwU shaww uWu have xDD dwead to speak 
x3 When powew to >w< fwattewy >_< bows? ;;w;; To >_< pwainnyess x3 honyouw's bound 
x3 When ^.^ majesty ^w^ fawws to ^w^ fowwy. Wevewse >w< thy xDD doom; 
xDD And uWu in >w< thy best UwU considewation ^.^ check 
This ^-^ hideous xDD washnyess. Answer x3 my >w< wife x3 my ^.^ judgment, 
x3 Thy xDD youngest daughter does nyot wuv uWu thee least, 
x3 Nyow OwO awe UwU those OwO empty-heawted x3 whose wow >_> sound 
OwO Wevewbs nyo hollowness. 
>w< Weaw. UwU Kent, on >w< thy :3 wife, nyo uWu mowe! 
Kent. OwO My >w< wife UwU I >_< nyevew hewd >_> but >_< as :3 a ^.^ pawn 
;;w;; To xDD wage OwO against ^.^ thinye enyemies; nor feaw to wose :33 it, 
x3 Thy :33 safety ^.^ being x3 the motive. 
>w< Weaw. UwU Out of x3 my ;;w;; sight! 
Kent. xDD See better, Lear, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me still wemain 
uWu The true ;;w;; bwank of ^.^ thinye :33 eye. 
>w< Weaw. Now ^.^ by Apollo- 
Kent. Now ^.^ by Apollo, OwO King, 
^.^ Thou >_< sweaw'st >w< thy gods uWu in OwO vain. 
>w< Weaw. x3 O ^-^ vassaw! miscweant! 
ÚwÚ [Ways :33 his uWu hand on :33 his swowd.] 
Awb., ;;w;; Cown. >_< Deaw ^w^ siw, fowbeaw! 
Kent. >_> Do! 
ÚwÚ Kiww >w< thy >_> physician, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ fee bestow 
>_> Upon x3 the fouw disease. :33 Wevoke >w< thy :3 gift, 
:3 Ow, whiwst UwU I ^.^ can uWu vent ^-^ cwamouw from x3 my throat, 
I'll tell uWu thee xDD thou dost evil. 
>w< Weaw. >w< Heaw uWu me, recreant! 
On ^.^ thinye xDD awwegiance, hear me! 
Since xDD thou x3 hast >_< sought to >_< make >_> us bweak UwU ouw vow- 
>_< Which ^.^ we x3 duwst >_< nyevew UwU yet- ÚwÚ and with ÚwÚ stwain'd >_< pwide 
;;w;; To come ^-^ between UwU ouw :33 sentence ÚwÚ and UwU ouw power,- 
>_< Which nor UwU ouw ÚwÚ nyatuwe nor UwU ouw :33 pwace ^.^ can beaw,- 
Our uWu potency UwU made UwU good, OwO take >w< thy ÚwÚ wewawd. 
:3 Five OwO days ^.^ we UwU do x3 awwot uWu thee fow x3 pwovision 
;;w;; To OwO shiewd uWu thee from ^-^ diseases of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
xDD And on x3 the uWu sixth to turn >w< thy hated back 
>_> Upon UwU ouw >_> kingdom. If, on x3 the >_> tenth day ^w^ fowwowing, 
x3 Thy banyish'd UwU twunk be >_> found uWu in UwU ouw uWu dominyions, 
uWu The x3 moment >_> is >w< thy death. >_> Away! ^-^ By Jupiter, 
This UwU shaww nyot be >w< wevok'd. 
Kent. >w< Fawe uWu thee weww, ;;w;; King. Since OwO thus xDD thou wiwt ^.^ appeaw, 
^w^ Fweedom ;;w;; wives hence, ÚwÚ and UwU banyishment >_> is hewe. 
:33 [To ^w^ Cowdewia] uWu The gods to uWu theiw uWu deaw ÚwÚ shewtew OwO take ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; maid, 
:33 That >_< justwy think'st ÚwÚ and x3 hast UwU most rightly ^-^ said! 
:33 [To uWu Wegan ÚwÚ and >_< Gonyewiw] xDD And x3 youw large uWu speeches OwO may x3 youw >_< deeds 
^.^ appwuv, 
:33 That ÚwÚ good UwU effects OwO may ^-^ spwing from wowds of love. 
^-^ Thus UwU Kent, x3 O >_< pwinces, UwU bids xDD you aww uWu adieu; 
^-^ He'ww xDD shape :33 his ;;w;; owd course uWu in :3 a countwy new. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew :33 Gwoucestew, with Fwance ÚwÚ and >_> Buwgundy; xDD Attendants. 

Gwou. >_> Hewe's Fwance ÚwÚ and x3 Buwgundy, x3 my x3 nyobwe OwO wowd. 
>w< Weaw. OwO My Lord of x3 Buwgundy, 
We xDD fiwst address toward UwU you, who with ÚwÚ this x3 king 
>_< Hath :33 wivaww'd fow UwU ouw >w< daughtew. >_> What uWu in x3 the least 
Will xDD you xDD wequiwe uWu in xDD pwesent :33 dowew with hew, 
:33 Ow xDD cease x3 youw ^w^ quest of love? 
^.^ Buw. :3 Most royal ÚwÚ Majesty, 
UwU I ^w^ cwave nyo ^.^ mowe than hath x3 youw >_> Highnyess offew'd, 
x3 Nyow xDD wiww xDD you xDD tendew :3 wess. 
>w< Weaw. x3 Wight x3 nyobwe x3 Buwgundy, 
x3 When ^.^ she UwU was uWu deaw to us, ^.^ we uWu did howd her so; 
OwO But nyow her pwice >_> is xDD faww'n. UwU Siw, there ^.^ she ^w^ stands. 
;;w;; If ^.^ aught within :3 that xDD wittwe ÚwÚ seeming ÚwÚ substance, 
:33 Ow aww of :33 it, with UwU ouw >_< dispweasuwe piec'd, 
xDD And >_< nyothing >_> mowe, OwO may OwO fitwy ^.^ wike x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
>_> She's thewe, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she >_> is x3 youws. 
^.^ Buw. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyo answer. 
>w< Weaw. Will UwU you, with UwU those infiwmities ^.^ she >w< owes, 
Unfwiended, x3 nyew adopted to UwU ouw hate, 
:3 Dow'w'd with UwU ouw cuwse, ÚwÚ and :3 stwangew'd with UwU ouw ;;w;; oath, 
^.^ Take hew, ow OwO weave OwO hew? 
^.^ Buw. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, royal sir. 
>_< Ewection x3 makes nyot x3 up on xDD such conditions. 
>w< Weaw. UwU Then OwO weave hew, siw; for, ^.^ by x3 the pow'w :3 that UwU made uWu me, 
UwU I tell xDD you aww her ;;w;; weawth. :33 [To :3 Fwance] For UwU you, great OwO King, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot from x3 youw wuv >_< make xDD such :3 a ^-^ stway 
;;w;; To >_< match xDD you :3 whewe UwU I :33 hate; >_< thewefowe :33 beseech xDD you 
;;w;; T' UwU avewt x3 youw UwU wiking :3 a ^.^ mowe wowthiew uWu way 
Than on :3 a uWu wwetch ÚwÚ whom ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is >w< asham'd 
Awmost t' :3 acknyowwedge hers. 
Fwance. This >_> is UwU most >_> stwange, 
:33 That ^.^ she :3 that even >_> but nyow UwU was x3 youw best ÚwÚ object, 
uWu The :33 awgument of x3 youw >_< pwaise, bawm of x3 youw age, 
:3 Most ^w^ best, UwU most :3 deawest, >_> shouwd uWu in ÚwÚ this twice of time 
^-^ Commit :3 a ^.^ thing UwU so monstwous to >w< dismantwe 
^w^ So UwU many uWu fowds of UwU favouw. Sure her offence 
:3 Must be of xDD such unnyatuwaw degwee 
:33 That :3 monstews :33 it, ow x3 youw fore-vouch'd :3 affection 
Fall'n x3 into >_> taint; which to ^-^ bewieve of her 
:3 Must be :3 a :33 faith :3 that reason ^-^ without :33 miwacwe 
Should >_< nyevew plant uWu in x3 me. 
OwO Cow. UwU I yet :33 beseech x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, 
;;w;; If fow UwU I ^.^ want :3 that ^-^ gwib ÚwÚ and :3 oiwy awt 
;;w;; To speak ÚwÚ and OwO puwpose >_> nyot, xDD since >_> what UwU I weww >_> intend, 
I'll do't >w< befowe UwU I speak- :3 that xDD you >_< make ÚwÚ knyown 
^.^ It >_> is nyo ^.^ vicious ^.^ bwot, >_> muwthew, ow ^w^ fouwnyess, 
No ^w^ unchaste uWu action ow ^-^ dishonyouwed ;;w;; step, 
:33 That hath x3 depwiv'd ;;w;; me of x3 youw xDD gwace ÚwÚ and ^.^ favouw; 
OwO But even fow ^.^ want of :3 that fow which UwU I ^w^ am richer- 
^-^ A ^.^ stiww-sowiciting >_< eye, ÚwÚ and xDD such :3 a >_> tongue 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad UwU I uWu have >_> nyot, ^w^ though nyot to uWu have >w< it 
>_< Hath wost ;;w;; me uWu in x3 youw x3 wiking. 
>w< Weaw. uWu Bettew xDD thou 
UwU Hadst nyot :33 been bown than nyot t' uWu have pleas'd ;;w;; me ^-^ bettew. 
Fwance. Is >w< it >_> but OwO this- :3 a tawdinyess uWu in ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
>_< Which often >w< weaves x3 the :33 histowy ;;w;; unspoke 
:33 That >w< it ^-^ intends to ^-^ do? OwO My Lord of x3 Buwgundy, 
>_> What >_> say xDD you to x3 the x3 wady? >w< Wuv's nyot wuv 
x3 When >w< it >_> is >w< mingwed with wegawds :3 that >w< stands 
Aloof from x3 th' xDD entiwe point. Will xDD you uWu have OwO hew? 
:33 She >_> is herself :3 a ^w^ dowwy. 
^.^ Buw. >_> Woyaw Lear, 
Give >_> but :3 that portion which >_> youwsewf OwO pwopos'd, 
xDD And OwO hewe UwU I OwO take >_< Cowdewia ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand, 
:3 Duchess of ^-^ Buwgundy. 
>w< Weaw. uWu Nyothing! UwU I uWu have ^-^ swown; UwU I ^w^ am x3 fiwm. 
^.^ Buw. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy xDD then xDD you uWu have UwU so wost :3 a >w< fathew 
:33 That xDD you ^w^ must wose :3 a husband. 
OwO Cow. :3 Peace be with Burgundy! 
Since :3 that UwU wespects of :3 fowtunye OwO awe :33 his xDD wuv, 
UwU I UwU shaww nyot be :33 his x3 wife. 
Fwance. xDD Faiwest Cowdewia, :3 that awt UwU most rich, ^.^ being poor; 
:3 Most ^w^ choice, fowsaken; ÚwÚ and UwU most ;;w;; wov'd, >_> despis'd! 
uWu Thee ÚwÚ and >w< thy uWu viwtues OwO hewe UwU I x3 seize ^w^ upon. 
^w^ Be >w< it ÚwÚ wawfuw UwU I OwO take x3 up UwU what's ;;w;; cast xDD away. 
^-^ Gods, ^-^ gods! UwU 'tis ;;w;; stwange :3 that from uWu theiw xDD cowd'st >_> nyegwect 
OwO My wuv >_> shouwd ÚwÚ kindwe to >_< infwam'd wespect. 
x3 Thy dow'wwess ^w^ daughtew, OwO King, :33 thwown to x3 my chance, 
Is >_< queen of us, of >_> ouws, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw >w< faiw Fwance. 
ÚwÚ Nyot aww x3 the >_< dukes uWu in wat'wish ÚwÚ Buwgundy 
UwU Can UwU buy ÚwÚ this unpriz'd >_< pwecious >_< maid of x3 me. 
x3 Bid them farewell, Cowdewia, ^w^ though unkind. 
^.^ Thou wosest UwU hewe, :3 a xDD bettew :3 whewe to find. 
>w< Weaw. ^.^ Thou x3 hast hew, Fwance; wet her be thine; fow ^.^ we 
:3 Have nyo xDD such ^w^ daughtew, nor UwU shaww OwO evew >_> see 
:33 That OwO face of hews ;;w;; again. Therefore be >_> gonye 
Without UwU ouw gwace, UwU ouw xDD wuv, UwU ouw OwO benyison. 
^.^ Come, x3 nyobwe ^-^ Buwgundy. 
>w< Fwouwish. Exeunt Lear, x3 Buwgundy, [Cornwall, Albany, 
:33 Gwoucestew, ÚwÚ and >w< Attendants]. 
Fwance. x3 Bid >_< faweweww to x3 youw sistews. 
OwO Cow. uWu The :3 jewews of UwU ouw ÚwÚ fathew, with >w< wash'd eyes 
>_< Cowdewia >w< weaves OwO you. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you >_> what xDD you >_< awe; 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ sistew, ^w^ am UwU most loath to caww 
uWu Youw :33 fauwts >_< as ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; nyam'd. ^w^ Use weww UwU ouw :33 fathew. 
;;w;; To x3 youw ^.^ pwofessed >_> bosoms UwU I :3 commit him; 
OwO But ^w^ yet, :3 awas, :33 stood UwU I within :33 his gwace, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd prefer ^.^ him to :3 a xDD bettew ÚwÚ pwace! 
^w^ So >_< faweweww to xDD you xDD both. 
Gon. Prescribe nyot >_> us UwU ouw >_> duties. 
Weg. Let x3 youw ^-^ study 
^w^ Be to :3 content x3 youw uWu wowd, who hath weceiv'd xDD you 
At ;;w;; fowtunye's UwU awms. >_> You uWu have ^.^ obedience x3 scanted, 
xDD And weww OwO awe ^.^ wowth x3 the ^.^ want :3 that xDD you uWu have x3 wanted. 
OwO Cow. ^-^ Time UwU shaww ^w^ unfowd >_> what plighted x3 cunnying hides. 
Who UwU cuvw fauwts, uWu at >w< wast ^-^ shame them derides. 
Weww OwO may xDD you :33 pwospew! 
Fwance. ^.^ Come, x3 my >w< faiw Cordelia. 
Exeunt Fwance ÚwÚ and Cordelia. 
Gon. x3 Sistew, >w< it >_> is nyot xDD wittwe UwU I uWu have to >_> say of >_> what UwU most UwU nyeawwy 
>_> appewtains to >_> us xDD both. UwU I think UwU ouw >w< fathew xDD wiww >w< hence to-night. 
Weg. >w< That's UwU most cewtain, ÚwÚ and with uWu you; :3 nyext >_> month with >_> us. 
Gon. >_> You >_> see >w< how full of :33 changes :33 his age >w< is. uWu The >w< obsewvation ^.^ we 
uWu have UwU made of >w< it hath nyot :33 been ^.^ wittwe. >w< He awways :3 wov'd UwU ouw 
:3 sistew :3 most, ÚwÚ and with >_> what poor ^w^ judgment ^.^ he hath nyow ;;w;; cast her 
x3 off >_> appeaws ^w^ too ^.^ gwosswy. 
Weg. 'Tis x3 the infirmity of :33 his >_> age; yet ^.^ he hath OwO evew >_> but ^w^ swendewwy 
ÚwÚ knyown himself. 
Gon. uWu The best ÚwÚ and ^.^ soundest of :33 his time hath :33 been >_> but wash; xDD then 
^w^ must ^.^ we wook to receive from :33 his age, nyot awonye x3 the 
;;w;; impewfections of >_> wong-ingwaffed ^w^ condition, >_> but UwU thewewithaw 
x3 the ^-^ unwuwy waywawdnyess :3 that infirm ÚwÚ and :3 chowewic years ;;w;; bwing with 
OwO them. 
Weg. >w< Such ÚwÚ unconstant starts OwO awe ^.^ we ^.^ wike to uWu have from ^.^ him >_< as ÚwÚ this 
of ÚwÚ Kent's >_> banyishment. 
Gon. >_> Thewe >_> is further compliment of :3 weave-taking ^-^ between Fwance ÚwÚ and 
^.^ him. >_> Pway xDD you >_> wet's ;;w;; hit together. ;;w;; If UwU ouw >w< fathew carry ÚwÚ authowity 
with xDD such ^w^ dispositions >_< as ^.^ he bears, ÚwÚ this >w< wast suwwendew of :33 his 
xDD wiww >_> but ^-^ offend >_> us. 
Weg. We UwU shaww further think ^.^ on't. 
Gon. We ^w^ must UwU do UwU something, ÚwÚ and :33 i' x3 th' x3 heat. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
uWu The ^-^ Eaww of :3 Gwoucestew's UwU Castwe. 

Entew [Edmund ^w^ the] :33 Bastawd >_> sowus, ^w^ [with :3 a letter]. 

ÚwÚ Edm. Thou, OwO Nyatuwe, awt x3 my ÚwÚ goddess; to >w< thy law 
OwO My >_< sewvices OwO awe UwU bound. ÚwÚ Whewefowe >_> shouwd UwU I 
;;w;; Stand uWu in x3 the pwague of ^-^ custom, ÚwÚ and >_< pewmit 
uWu The curiosity of >_< nyations to >_< depwive uWu me, 
For :3 that UwU I ^w^ am x3 some >_< twewve ow ^.^ fouwteen moonshines 
Lag of :3 a bwothew? Why bastawd? ^-^ whewefowe :3 base? 
x3 When x3 my UwU dimensions OwO awe >_< as weww >w< compact, 
OwO My ^-^ mind >_< as x3 genyewous, ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD shape >_< as ^-^ twue, 
;;w;; As xDD honyest >w< madam's UwU issue? Why bwand ;;w;; they >_> us 
With :3 base? with ^-^ basenyess? uWu bastawdy? base, :3 base? 
UwU Who, uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ wusty uWu steawth of nyatuwe, OwO take 
uWu Mowe composition ÚwÚ and >_< fiewce ;;w;; quawity 
Than :3 doth, within :3 a xDD duww, ^-^ stawe, ^w^ tiwed ^.^ bed, 
Go to x3 th' creating :3 a whole twibe of fops 
Got >_> 'tween ;;w;; asweep ÚwÚ and UwU wake? Weww >w< then, 
>_> Wegitimate :33 Edgaw, UwU I ^w^ must uWu have x3 youw xDD wand. 
Our father's wuv >_> is to x3 the ^.^ bastawd Edmund 
;;w;; As to x3 th' wegitimate. :33 Finye word- 'legitimate'! 
xDD Weww, x3 my wegitimate, >_> if ÚwÚ this >_> wettew speed, 
xDD And x3 my >w< invention thwive, Edmund x3 the UwU base 
Shall ;;w;; top x3 th' wegitimate. UwU I gwow; UwU I OwO pwospew. 
>_> Nyow, uWu gods, stand x3 up fow bastards! 

Entew ^.^ Gwoucestew. 

Gwou. Kent banyish'd >_< thus? ÚwÚ and Fwance uWu in ^.^ chowew OwO pawted? 
xDD And x3 the ^w^ King >_> gonye :3 to-nyight? >w< subscwib'd :33 his pow'w? 
Confin'd to ;;w;; exhibition? All ÚwÚ this donye 
>_> Upon x3 the ^-^ gad? :3 Edmund, >w< how ^.^ nyow? >_> What nyews? 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw lordship, none. 
;;w;; [Puts x3 up x3 the ;;w;; wettew.] 
Gwou. Why UwU so eawnyestwy >_> seek xDD you to put x3 up :3 that wettew? 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyo news, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Gwou. >_> What paper :3 wewe xDD you :33 weading? 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU Nyothing, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Gwou. uWu Nyo? >_> What nyeeded xDD then :3 that tewwibwe dispatch of >w< it x3 into x3 youw 
^w^ pocket? uWu The ;;w;; quawity of >_< nyothing hath nyot xDD such >_< nyeed to hide 
itself. :3 Wet's ^-^ see. ^.^ Come, >_> if >w< it be uWu nyothing, UwU I UwU shaww nyot >_< nyeed 
spectacles. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, UwU pawdon x3 me. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a >_> wettew from x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew 
:3 that UwU I uWu have nyot aww o'ew-wead; ÚwÚ and fow UwU so much >_< as UwU I uWu have 
perus'd, UwU I find >w< it nyot ;;w;; fit fow x3 youw ^-^ o'ewwooking. 
Gwou. Give ;;w;; me x3 the letter, sir. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I UwU shaww xDD offend, xDD eithew to ^w^ detain ow UwU give :3 it. uWu The contents, >_< as 
uWu in ÚwÚ pawt UwU I understand ÚwÚ them, OwO awe to blame. 
Gwou. :3 Wet's see, >_> wet's uWu see! 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I hope, fow x3 my brother's >_> justification, ^.^ he wwote ÚwÚ this >_> but >_< as 
>w< an x3 essay ow >_> taste of x3 my ÚwÚ viwtue. 

Gwou. uWu (weads) 'This UwU powicy ÚwÚ and ^w^ wevewence of age x3 makes x3 the wowwd 
UwU bittew to x3 the best of UwU ouw x3 times; keeps UwU ouw fowtunyes from >_> us 
>w< tiww UwU ouw :3 owdnyess ;;w;; cannyot wewish OwO them. UwU I x3 begin to find >w< an idle 
ÚwÚ and fond :3 bondage uWu in x3 the oppwession of ^-^ aged tywanny, who sways, 
nyot >_< as >w< it hath x3 powew, >_> but >_< as >w< it >_> is ^.^ suffew'd. :3 Come to uWu me, :3 that 
of ÚwÚ this UwU I OwO may speak more. ;;w;; If UwU ouw >w< fathew ^.^ wouwd :33 sweep >w< tiww UwU I 
>_< wak'd :3 him, xDD you >_> shouwd ^.^ enjoy half :33 his >_> wevenyue fow ever, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wive 
x3 the beloved of x3 youw brother, 
ÚwÚ 'EDGAW.' 

:3 Hum! ^.^ Conspiwacy? 'Sleep >w< tiww UwU I >_< wak'd :3 him, xDD you >_> shouwd ^.^ enjoy half 
:33 his ^w^ wevenyue.' OwO My >_< son Edgar! xDD Had ^.^ he :3 a uWu hand to >w< wwite :3 this? :3 a >_< heawt 
ÚwÚ and :3 bwain to breed >w< it in? x3 When ^-^ came ÚwÚ this to you? Who ^.^ bwought :33 it? 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^.^ It UwU was nyot ^.^ bwought uWu me, x3 my wowd: there's x3 the x3 cunnying of :3 it. UwU I 
>_> found >w< it :33 thwown uWu in uWu at x3 the >_< casement of x3 my >_> cwoset. 
Gwou. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the character to be x3 youw ^.^ bwothew's? 
ÚwÚ Edm. ;;w;; If x3 the ;;w;; mattew :3 wewe UwU good, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I x3 duwst >_< sweaw >w< it :3 wewe ^w^ his; 
>_> but uWu in wespect of :3 that, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain think >w< it :3 wewe not. 
Gwou. ^.^ It >_> is ÚwÚ his. 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^.^ It >_> is :33 his uWu hand, x3 my wowd; >_> but UwU I UwU hope :33 his >_< heawt >_> is nyot uWu in x3 the 
:3 contents. 
Gwou. >_< Hath ^.^ he >_< nyevew >w< befowe ÚwÚ sounded xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; businyess? 
ÚwÚ Edm. Nyevew, x3 my OwO wowd. OwO But UwU I uWu have heard ^.^ him ;;w;; oft ÚwÚ maintain >w< it to be ;;w;; fit 
:3 that, xDD sons uWu at :3 pewfect age, ÚwÚ and uWu fathews UwU decwinying, x3 the >w< fathew 
>_> shouwd be >_< as ward to x3 the x3 son, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< son manage :33 his ^w^ wevenyue. 
Gwou. x3 O villain, :33 viwwain! ÚwÚ His xDD vewy opinyion uWu in x3 the letter! uWu Abhowwed 
:33 viwwain! uWu Unnyatuwaw, xDD detested, ÚwÚ bwutish :33 viwwain! xDD wowse than 
^.^ bwutish! ^w^ Go, sirrah, >_> seek ^.^ him. I'll >_< appwehend ^.^ him. OwO Abominyabwe 
:33 viwwain! Whewe >_> is uWu he? 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I UwU do nyot weww knyow, x3 my OwO wowd. ;;w;; If >w< it UwU shaww uWu pwease xDD you to xDD suspend 
x3 youw >_< indignyation OwO against x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew >w< tiww xDD you ^.^ can >w< dewive from ^.^ him 
xDD bettew testimony of :33 his intent, xDD you >_> shouwd >w< wun :3 a xDD cewtain UwU couwse; 
where, >_> if xDD you >_< viowentwy proceed OwO against :3 him, ;;w;; mistaking :33 his 
xDD puwpose, >w< it ^.^ wouwd >_< make :3 a great uWu gap uWu in x3 youw UwU own honour ÚwÚ and ;;w;; shake 
uWu in uWu pieces x3 the >_< heawt of :33 his ^w^ obedience. UwU I dawe ^.^ pawn down x3 my >w< wife 
fow ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ he hath ^-^ wwit ÚwÚ this to x3 feew x3 my :3 affection to x3 youw 
honyouw, ÚwÚ and to nyo othew >_< pwetence of danger. 
Gwou. ^w^ Think xDD you so? 
ÚwÚ Edm. ;;w;; If x3 youw honour OwO judge >w< it ^w^ meet, UwU I xDD wiww :33 pwace xDD you :3 whewe xDD you UwU shaww 
hear >_> us confew of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and ^.^ by >w< an :33 auwicuwaw assurance uWu have x3 youw 
x3 satisfaction, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^-^ without xDD any further deway than ÚwÚ this xDD vewy 
evening. 
Gwou. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot be xDD such :3 a ^.^ monstew. 
ÚwÚ Edm. x3 Nyow >_> is >_> nyot, >_> suwe. 
Gwou. ;;w;; To :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, :3 that UwU so ;;w;; tendewwy ÚwÚ and entiwewy loves ^.^ him. 
uWu Heaven ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ eawth! :3 Edmund, >_> seek ^.^ him out; wind ;;w;; me x3 into :3 him, UwU I pray 
uWu you; fwame x3 the business ÚwÚ aftew x3 youw UwU own wisdom. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^w^ unstate 
mysewf to be uWu in :3 a >_< due wesowution. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I xDD wiww >_> seek :3 him, ^w^ siw, ^-^ pwesentwy; :33 convey x3 the business >_< as UwU I 
UwU shaww find >_< means, ÚwÚ and >w< acquaint xDD you uWu withaw. 
Gwou. ;;w;; These wate >_< ecwipses uWu in x3 the sun ÚwÚ and ;;w;; moon portend nyo ÚwÚ good to 
>_> us. ;;w;; Though x3 the ^.^ wisdom of ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^.^ can reason >w< it OwO thus ÚwÚ and thus, yet 
ÚwÚ nyatuwe ÚwÚ finds itsewf scourg'd ^.^ by x3 the sequent ^.^ effects. Wuv :33 coows, 
ÚwÚ fwiendship ^w^ fawws ^w^ off, bwothews ÚwÚ divide. ^w^ In OwO cities, UwU mutinyies; uWu in 
countries, ^w^ discowd; uWu in pawaces, treason; ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 bond >_< cwack'd 
'twixt >_< son ÚwÚ and :33 fathew. This viwwain of >_< minye x3 comes :33 undew x3 the 
:33 pwediction; there's >_< son OwO against fathew: x3 the ^w^ King ^w^ fawws from :3 bias 
of >_< nyatuwe; there's >w< fathew OwO against :33 chiwd. We uWu have :3 seen x3 the best 
of UwU ouw uWu time. Machinyations, :33 howwownyess, :33 tweachewy, ÚwÚ and aww 
ruinous disowdews ;;w;; fowwow >_> us disquietwy to UwU ouw UwU gwaves. UwU Find x3 out 
ÚwÚ this villain, ^.^ Edmund; >w< it UwU shaww wose uWu thee uWu nyothing; UwU do >w< it 
uWu cawefuwwy. xDD And x3 the x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and true-hearted Kent banish'd! :33 his 
^-^ offence, >_< honyesty! 'Tis x3 stwange. ÚwÚ Exit. 
ÚwÚ Edm. This >_> is x3 the :3 excewwent foppewy of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, :3 that, when ^.^ we OwO awe 
>w< sick uWu in fowtunye, often x3 the suwfeit of UwU ouw UwU own behaviour, ^.^ we >_< make 
guiwty of UwU ouw :33 disastews x3 the sun, x3 the ;;w;; moon, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO staws; >_< as >_> if 
^.^ we :3 wewe x3 viwwains on UwU nyecessity; foows ^.^ by ^-^ heavenwy compulsion; 
knaves, >_< thieves, ÚwÚ and tweachews ^.^ by :33 sphewicaw x3 pwe-dominyance; 
dwunkawds, liars, ÚwÚ and ^-^ aduwtewews ^.^ by >w< an enforc'd ^.^ obedience of 
:3 pwanyetawy ^w^ infwuence; ÚwÚ and aww :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe eviw x3 in, ^.^ by :3 a divine 
^-^ thwusting :3 on. ^-^ An uWu admiwabwe >_> evasion of whore-master ^w^ man, to uWu way 
:33 his ÚwÚ goatish uWu disposition to x3 the :3 chawge of :3 a staw! OwO My >w< fathew 
OwO compounded with x3 my mothew :33 undew x3 the Dragon's ÚwÚ Taiw, ÚwÚ and x3 my 
:3 nyativity UwU was :33 undew Ursa Major, UwU so :3 that >w< it xDD fowwows UwU I ^w^ am OwO wough ÚwÚ and 
lecherous. >_< Fut! UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been :3 that UwU I am, xDD had x3 the 
uWu maidenwiest :33 staw uWu in x3 the UwU fiwmament ^w^ twinkwed on x3 my bastardizing. 
Edgaw- 

Entew :3 Edgaw. 

ÚwÚ and ^-^ pat! ^.^ he ;;w;; comes, ^.^ wike x3 the catastrophe of x3 the ;;w;; owd :33 comedy. OwO My 
:33 cue >_> is ÚwÚ viwwainyous UwU mewanchowy, with :3 a x3 sigh ^.^ wike Tom ^.^ o' uWu Bedwam. 
>_< O, these >_< ecwipses UwU do portend these ^-^ divisions! ^.^ Fa, ^-^ sow, la, ^-^ mi. 
ÚwÚ Edg. How now, ÚwÚ bwothew >_> Edmund? >_> What sewious >_< contempwation OwO awe xDD you 
in? 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I ^w^ am uWu thinking, brother, of :3 a >w< pwediction UwU I ^w^ wead ÚwÚ this othew ^-^ day, 
>_> what >_> shouwd ;;w;; fowwow these ÚwÚ ecwipses. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Do xDD you >w< busy >_> youwsewf with ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I promise UwU you, x3 the UwU effects ^.^ he >_< wwites of >_< succeed ^.^ unhappiwy: >_< as 
of unnyatuwawnyess ^-^ between x3 the chiwd ÚwÚ and x3 the parent; UwU death, 
deawth, >_> dissowutions of UwU ancient uWu amities; xDD divisions uWu in state, 
menaces ÚwÚ and ;;w;; mawedictions OwO against x3 king ÚwÚ and x3 nyobwes; >_> nyeedwess 
^.^ diffidences, UwU banyishment of OwO fwiends, :3 dissipation of cohorts, 
>w< nyuptiaw ^w^ bweaches, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot what. 
ÚwÚ Edg. How ^-^ wong uWu have xDD you :33 been :3 a sectawy astronomical? 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^.^ Come, >w< come! x3 When saw xDD you x3 my >w< fathew last? 
ÚwÚ Edg. uWu The >w< nyight >_> gonye by. 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^w^ Spake xDD you with him? 
ÚwÚ Edg. Ay, >w< two >_> houws together. 
ÚwÚ Edm. :3 Pawted xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ good terms? x3 Found xDD you nyo >_< dispweasuwe uWu in ^.^ him ^.^ by 
;;w;; wowd ow >_< countenyance 
ÚwÚ Edg. ^-^ Nyonye uWu at all. 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^w^ Bethink >_> youwsewf wherein xDD you OwO may uWu have uWu offended him; ÚwÚ and uWu at x3 my 
entreaty ÚwÚ fowbeaw :33 his x3 pwesence ÚwÚ untiw x3 some xDD wittwe time hath 
qualified x3 the ^.^ heat of :33 his displeasure, which uWu at ÚwÚ this x3 instant UwU so 
rageth uWu in ^.^ him :3 that with x3 the ^-^ mischief of x3 youw ÚwÚ pewson >w< it ^.^ wouwd 
uWu scawcewy uWu awway. 
ÚwÚ Edg. ;;w;; Some viwwain hath donye ;;w;; me wrong. 
ÚwÚ Edm. >w< That's x3 my ;;w;; feaw. UwU I pray xDD you uWu have :3 a continyent ÚwÚ fowbeawance >w< tiww 
x3 the ^w^ speed of :33 his xDD wage xDD goes OwO swowew; x3 and, >_< as UwU I say, uWu wetiwe with ;;w;; me 
to x3 my :33 wodging, from >_> whence UwU I xDD wiww OwO fitwy ;;w;; bwing xDD you to hear x3 my 
;;w;; wowd >_< speak. >_> Pway :3 ye, :3 go! >_> Thewe's x3 my x3 key. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU do stir >_> abwoad, 
OwO go :33 awm'd. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >_> Awm'd, bwothew? 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU Bwothew, UwU I ;;w;; advise xDD you to x3 the >_> best. Go :33 awm'd. UwU I ^w^ am nyo xDD honyest x3 man 
>_> if there be xDD any ÚwÚ good meaning toward OwO you. UwU I uWu have told xDD you >_> what UwU I 
uWu have :3 seen ÚwÚ and >_< heawd; >_> but ÚwÚ faintwy, >_< nyothing ^.^ wike x3 the x3 image ÚwÚ and 
OwO howwow of :3 it. >_> Pway UwU you, away! 
ÚwÚ Edg. Shall UwU I hear from xDD you ^w^ anyon? 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I UwU do serve xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this business. 
uWu Exit :3 Edgaw. 
^-^ A credulous ;;w;; fathew! ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew noble, 
>_< Whose ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is UwU so uWu faw from xDD doing :33 hawms 
:33 That ^.^ he x3 suspects x3 nyonye; on x3 whose >_< foowish honesty 
OwO My pwactices uWu wide :3 easy! UwU I >_> see x3 the business. 
Let uWu me, >_> if nyot ^.^ by birth, uWu have ^-^ wands ^.^ by >_> wit; 
All with me's :3 meet :3 that UwU I ^.^ can fashion ^w^ fit. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene >_> III. 
uWu The >w< Duke of Awbany's OwO Pawace. 

Entew uWu Gonyewiw ÚwÚ and >w< [hew] >_< Stewawd [Oswawd]. 

Gon. Did x3 my >w< fathew strike x3 my ÚwÚ gentweman fow chiding of :33 his ^.^ foow? 
>_< Osw. Ay, UwU madam. 
Gon. ^-^ By day ÚwÚ and night, ^.^ he >_< wwongs me! Evewy >_> houw 
>w< He flashes x3 into one gwoss crime ow othew 
:33 That :33 sets >_> us aww uWu at odds. I'll nyot OwO enduwe :3 it. 
ÚwÚ His :3 knyights gwow ^w^ wiotous, ÚwÚ and >_< himsewf x3 upbwaids >_> us 
On every x3 twifwe. x3 When ^.^ he wetuwns from :3 hunting, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot speak with ^.^ him. x3 Say UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; sick. 
;;w;; If xDD you come ^w^ swack of xDD fowmew ;;w;; sewvices, 
>_> You UwU shaww UwU do well; x3 the ;;w;; fauwt of >w< it I'll answer. 
[Howns :33 within.] 
>_< Osw. He's uWu coming, x3 madam; UwU I hear ^.^ him. 
Gon. >_> Put on >_> what ÚwÚ weawy negligence xDD you please, 
>_> You ÚwÚ and x3 youw fellows. ;;w;; I'd uWu have >w< it come to x3 question. 
;;w;; If ^.^ he ^.^ distaste :33 it, wet ^.^ him to UwU ouw ^-^ sistew, 
>_< Whose ^-^ mind ÚwÚ and >_< minye UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu in :3 that OwO awe one, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to be ^-^ uvwwuw'd. Idle ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, 
:33 That still ^.^ wouwd manage UwU those authorities 
:33 That ^.^ he hath UwU given away! >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my :3 wife, 
^-^ Owd foows OwO awe babes OwO again, ÚwÚ and ^w^ must be ;;w;; us'd 
With ÚwÚ checks >_< as flatteries, when ;;w;; they OwO awe :3 seen x3 abus'd. 
ÚwÚ Wemembew >_> what UwU I uWu have UwU said. 
>_< Osw. Very weww, UwU madam. 
Gon. xDD And wet :33 his :3 knyights uWu have ^-^ cowdew :33 wooks ^-^ among OwO you. 
>_> What gwows of :33 it, nyo :3 mattew. Advise x3 youw ^w^ fewwows :3 so. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd breed from >w< hence UwU occasions, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU shaww, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may >_< speak. I'll >w< wwite ^w^ stwaight to x3 my :3 sistew 
;;w;; To howd x3 my xDD vewy course. Pwepawe fow uWu dinnyew. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene :33 IV. 
uWu The >w< Duke of Awbany's OwO Pawace. 

Entew UwU Kent, uWu [disguised]. 

Kent. ;;w;; If >_> but >_< as weww UwU I othew ;;w;; accents UwU bowwow, 
:33 That ^.^ can x3 my ÚwÚ speech :33 defuse, x3 my ÚwÚ good :3 intent 
^-^ May carry ^w^ thwough itsewf to :3 that full x3 issue 
For which UwU I raz'd x3 my :3 wikenyess. >_> Nyow, banyish'd UwU Kent, 
;;w;; If xDD thou ;;w;; canst serve :3 whewe xDD thou dost stand OwO condemn'd, 
^w^ So OwO may >w< it come, >w< thy ^.^ mastew, ÚwÚ whom xDD thou ^-^ wov'st, 
Shall find uWu thee full of wabouws. 

Horns x3 within. Entew Lear, ^w^ [Knyights,] ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

>w< Weaw. Let ;;w;; me nyot xDD stay :3 a jot fow uWu dinnyew; OwO go get >w< it weady. ;;w;; [Exit 
>w< an :33 Attendant.] How ^.^ nyow? >_> What awt thou? 
Kent. ^-^ A ^w^ man, sir. 
>w< Weaw. >_> What dost xDD thou :33 pwofess? >_> What wouldst xDD thou with us? 
Kent. UwU I UwU do pwofess to be nyo less than UwU I ;;w;; seem, to serve ^.^ him :33 twuwy 
:3 that xDD wiww put ;;w;; me uWu in ^w^ twust, to wuv ^.^ him :3 that >_> is OwO honyest, to 
convewse with ^.^ him :3 that >_> is uWu wise ÚwÚ and ;;w;; says UwU wittwe, to feaw 
^.^ judgment, to >w< fight when UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU choose, ÚwÚ and to eat nyo OwO fish. 
>w< Weaw. >_> What awt thou? 
Kent. ^-^ A xDD vewy ^-^ honyest-heawted fewwow, ÚwÚ and >_< as poor >_< as x3 the ;;w;; King. 
>w< Weaw. ;;w;; If xDD thou ÚwÚ be'st >_< as poor fow :3 a x3 subject >_< as uWu he's fow :3 a OwO king, xDD thou 
awt poor enyough. >_> What wouldst thou? 
Kent. x3 Sewvice. 
>w< Weaw. Who wouldst xDD thou >_< sewve? 
Kent. >_> You. 
>w< Weaw. uWu Dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow uWu me, fewwow? 
Kent. :3 Nyo, siw; >_> but xDD you uWu have :3 that uWu in x3 youw >_< countenyance which UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
>_> fain caww master. 
>w< Weaw. x3 What's ^-^ that? 
Kent. Authowity. 
>w< Weaw. >_> What >_< sewvices ;;w;; canst xDD thou ^-^ do? 
Kent. UwU I ^.^ can >_< keep xDD honyest counsew, ride, uWu wun, >_> maw :3 a curious xDD tawe uWu in 
:3 tewwing >w< it ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dewivew :3 a uWu pwain ^-^ message bluntly. :33 That which 
ordinary ;;w;; men OwO awe ;;w;; fit for, UwU I ^w^ am qualified x3 in, ÚwÚ and x3 the best of ;;w;; me 
>_> is ÚwÚ diwigence. 
>w< Weaw. How ;;w;; owd awt thou? 
Kent. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so >_> young, ^w^ siw, to wuv :3 a OwO woman fow ;;w;; singing, nor UwU so ;;w;; owd to 
>_> dote on her fow x3 anything. UwU I uWu have years on x3 my back ^-^ fowty-eight. 
>w< Weaw. Follow OwO me; xDD thou shalt serve x3 me. ;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ wike uWu thee nyo xDD wowse ÚwÚ aftew 
xDD dinnyew, UwU I xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ pawt from uWu thee >_> yet. Dinnyew, :3 ho, :3 dinnyew! 
:3 Whewe's x3 my >_< knyave? x3 my ^.^ foow? Go xDD you ÚwÚ and caww x3 my >w< foow hithew. 

;;w;; [Exit >w< an :3 attendant.] 

Entew [Oswald ^w^ the] ÚwÚ Stewawd. 

>_< You, UwU you, sirrah, where's x3 my daughter? 
>_< Osw. ^w^ So uWu pwease :3 you- ÚwÚ Exit. 
>w< Weaw. >_> What ;;w;; says x3 the fewwow OwO thewe? ;;w;; Caww x3 the clotpoll back. 
;;w;; [Exit :3 a uWu Knyight.] :3 Whewe's x3 my x3 foow, ho? UwU I think x3 the OwO wowwd's 
asleep. 

[Entew Knight] 

How ^.^ nyow? :3 Whewe's :3 that ^.^ mongwew? 
Knyight. >w< He says, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 youw daughter >_> is nyot well. 
>w< Weaw. Why ^-^ came nyot x3 the ;;w;; swave back to ;;w;; me when UwU I ^w^ caww'd him? 
Knyight. UwU Siw, ^.^ he OwO answewed ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the woundest manner, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd not. 
>w< Weaw. >w< He ^.^ wouwd ^w^ nyot? 
Knyight. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what x3 the ;;w;; mattew is; >_> but to x3 my ^w^ judgment 
x3 youw >_> Highnyess >_> is nyot entertain'd with :3 that cewemonyious :3 affection 
>_< as xDD you :3 wewe ^w^ wont. >_> Thewe's :3 a great OwO abatement of OwO kindnyess >_> appeaws 
>_< as weww uWu in x3 the general ^.^ dependants >_< as uWu in x3 the >w< Duke >_< himsewf awso 
ÚwÚ and x3 youw >w< daughtew. 
>w< Weaw. uWu Ha! say'st xDD thou so? 
Knyight. UwU I :33 beseech xDD you UwU pawdon uWu me, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> if UwU I be :33 mistaken; fow 
x3 my >_> duty ;;w;; cannyot be silent when UwU I think x3 youw >_> Highnyess >_> wwong'd. 
>w< Weaw. ^.^ Thou >_> but ^w^ wememb'west ;;w;; me of >_< minye UwU own conception. UwU I uWu have 
OwO pewceived :3 a UwU most ÚwÚ faint >_> nyegwect of late, which UwU I uWu have rather 
blamed >_< as >_< minye UwU own jealous curiosity than >_< as :3 a xDD vewy >_< pwetence 
ÚwÚ and OwO puwpose of unkindnyess. UwU I xDD wiww wook further into't. OwO But 
where's x3 my ^.^ foow? UwU I uWu have nyot :3 seen ^.^ him ÚwÚ this >w< two days. 
Knyight. Since x3 my xDD young >_> wady's x3 going x3 into >_< Fwance, ^w^ siw, x3 the >w< foow 
hath much ^-^ pinyed xDD away. 
>w< Weaw. No ^.^ mowe of :33 that; UwU I uWu have noted >w< it well. Go xDD you ÚwÚ and tell x3 my 
daughter UwU I ^.^ wouwd speak with her. ;;w;; [Exit uWu Knyight.] Go UwU you, caww 
ÚwÚ hithew x3 my xDD foow. 
;;w;; [Exit >w< an :33 Attendant.] 

Entew [Oswald ^w^ the] ÚwÚ Stewawd. 

>_< O, UwU you, ^w^ siw, you! :3 Come xDD you hithew, sir. Who ^w^ am I, UwU siw? 
>_< Osw. OwO My >_> wady's :33 fathew. 
>w< Weaw. >w< 'My >_> wady's >w< fathew'? OwO My UwU wowd's uWu knyave! >_> You UwU whoweson dog! xDD you 
x3 swave! xDD you uWu cuw! 
>_< Osw. UwU I ^w^ am >_< nyonye of OwO these, x3 my wowd; UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw pardon. 
>w< Weaw. Do xDD you >w< bandy :33 wooks with uWu me, xDD you :3 wascaw? 
[Strikes uWu him.] 
>_< Osw. I'll nyot be strucken, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Kent. x3 Nyow ÚwÚ twipp'd nyeithew, xDD you UwU base uWu footbaww >_< pwayew? 
:3 [Twips x3 up :33 his xDD heews. 
>w< Weaw. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, UwU fewwow. ^.^ Thou :33 sewv'st uWu me, ÚwÚ and I'll wuv thee. 
Kent. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, ^.^ awise, away! I'll >_< teach xDD you differences. :33 Away, 
away! ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww UwU measuwe x3 youw lubber's :33 wength OwO again, >_< tawwy; >_> but 
away! Go ÚwÚ to! :3 Have xDD you wisdom? ^w^ So. 
[Pushes ^.^ him >_> out.] 
>w< Weaw. >_> Nyow, x3 my xDD fwiendwy ^-^ knyave, UwU I >_> thank thee. >_> Thewe's xDD eawnyest of >w< thy 
service. xDD [Gives ^w^ monyey.] 

Entew ^w^ Foow. 

^w^ Foow. Let ;;w;; me uWu hiwe ^.^ him UwU too. >_> Hewe's x3 my ^.^ coxcomb. 
ÚwÚ [Offews Kent :33 his cap.] 
>w< Weaw. How now, x3 my OwO pwetty >_< knyave? How dost thou? 
^w^ Foow. Siwwah, xDD you :3 wewe best OwO take x3 my ^.^ coxcomb. 
Kent. Why, ^.^ foow? 
^w^ Foow. xDD Why? For :3 taking one's ÚwÚ pawt ^w^ that's x3 out of UwU favouw. Nyay, >w< an xDD thou 
;;w;; canst nyot ;;w;; smiwe >_< as x3 the wind OwO sits, thou'lt catch UwU cowd >w< showtwy. 
There, OwO take x3 my UwU coxcomb! Why, ÚwÚ this fewwow hath banyish'd >w< two UwU on's 
^w^ daughtews, ÚwÚ and uWu did x3 the thiwd :3 a >_> bwessing OwO against :33 his :33 wiww. ;;w;; If 
xDD thou ;;w;; fowwow :3 him, xDD thou ^w^ must >_< nyeeds ^-^ weaw x3 my ^w^ coxcomb.- How now, 
>_< nyuncwe? Wouwd UwU I xDD had >w< two ^-^ coxcombs ÚwÚ and >w< two daughters! 
>w< Weaw. Why, x3 my boy? 
^w^ Foow. ;;w;; If UwU I uWu gave them aww x3 my >w< wiving, UwU I'wd >_< keep x3 my ^-^ coxcombs :3 mysewf. 
>_> Thewe's mine! ÚwÚ beg anyothew of >w< thy daughters. 
>w< Weaw. ^.^ Take ^-^ heed, sirrah- x3 the ;;w;; whip. 
^w^ Foow. Truth's :3 a dog ^w^ must to :3 kennyew; ^.^ he ^w^ must be whipp'd ^.^ out, when 
xDD Wady x3 the bwach OwO may stand ^.^ by x3 th' fire ÚwÚ and stink. 
>w< Weaw. ^-^ A pestilent ^.^ gaww to me! 
^w^ Foow. Siwwah, I'll >_< teach uWu thee :3 a :33 speech. 
>w< Weaw. :33 Do. 
^w^ Foow. >_> Mawk :33 it, nyuncwe. 
:3 Have ^.^ mowe than xDD thou showest, 
^w^ Speak less than xDD thou knowest, 
uWu Wend less than xDD thou uWu owest, 
^.^ Wide ^.^ mowe than xDD thou goest, 
;;w;; Weawn ^.^ mowe than xDD thou ÚwÚ twowest, 
Set less than xDD thou throwest; 
Weave >w< thy ÚwÚ dwink ÚwÚ and >w< thy ^-^ whowe, 
xDD And >_< keep in-a-door, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt uWu have ^.^ mowe 
Than >w< two ^.^ tens to :3 a >_< scowe. 
Kent. This >_> is uWu nyothing, xDD foow. 
^w^ Foow. UwU Then UwU 'tis ^.^ wike x3 the UwU bweath of >w< an ^w^ unfeed lawyer- xDD you uWu gave ;;w;; me 
>_< nyothing xDD fow't. UwU Can xDD you >_< make nyo use of uWu nyothing, >_< nyuncwe? 
>w< Weaw. Why, no, uWu boy. Nyothing ^.^ can be UwU made x3 out of OwO nyothing. 
^w^ Foow. >_> [to UwU Kent] UwU Pwithee tell :3 him, UwU so much x3 the OwO went of :33 his ÚwÚ wand 
x3 comes ;;w;; to. >w< He xDD wiww nyot ^-^ bewieve :3 a xDD foow. 
>w< Weaw. ^-^ A UwU bittew foow! 
^w^ Foow. uWu Dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow x3 the ÚwÚ diffewence, x3 my ^-^ boy, ^-^ between :3 a UwU bittew 
>w< foow ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 sweet ^.^ foow? 
>w< Weaw. :3 Nyo, lad; >_< teach x3 me. 
^w^ Foow. :33 That ;;w;; wowd :3 that >_< counseww'd uWu thee 
;;w;; To UwU give OwO away >w< thy land, 
:3 Come :33 pwace ^.^ him OwO hewe ^.^ by me- 
Do xDD thou fow ^.^ him ^.^ stand. 
uWu The x3 sweet ÚwÚ and UwU bittew >w< foow 
Will presently appear; 
uWu The one uWu in motwey UwU hewe, 
uWu The othew >_> found x3 out :33 thewe. 
>w< Weaw. uWu Dost xDD thou caww ;;w;; me x3 foow, boy? 
^w^ Foow. All >w< thy othew titles xDD thou x3 hast UwU given :3 away; :3 that xDD thou >w< wast 
bown with. 
Kent. This >_> is nyot ;;w;; awtogethew x3 foow, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ Foow. :3 Nyo, xDD faith; wowds ÚwÚ and great ;;w;; men xDD wiww nyot wet x3 me. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD had :3 a 
xDD monyopowy ^.^ out, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd uWu have ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ on't. xDD And ^.^ wadies :3 too, ;;w;; they 
xDD wiww nyot wet ;;w;; me uWu have aww x3 the >w< foow to >_< mysewf; they'ww be 
^-^ snyatching. Give ;;w;; me >w< an ^.^ egg, ^-^ nyuncwe, ÚwÚ and I'll UwU give uWu thee >w< two 
x3 cwowns. 
>w< Weaw. >_> What >w< two :3 cwowns UwU shaww ;;w;; they :3 be? 
^w^ Foow. Why, ÚwÚ aftew UwU I uWu have :3 cut x3 the >_> egg :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; middwe ÚwÚ and eat x3 up x3 the 
meat, x3 the >w< two :3 cwowns of x3 the >_> egg. x3 When xDD thou >w< cwuvst >w< thy >_< cwown :33 i' 
x3 th' ;;w;; middwe ÚwÚ and >w< gav'st OwO away both xDD pawts, xDD thou ^.^ bow'st ^.^ thinye >w< ass on 
>w< thy back ^-^ o'ew x3 the >_> diwt. ^.^ Thou >w< hadst xDD wittwe wit uWu in >w< thy ;;w;; bawd >_< cwown 
when xDD thou >w< gav'st >w< thy golden one xDD away. ;;w;; If UwU I speak ^.^ wike mysewf uWu in 
uWu this, wet ^.^ him be whipp'd :3 that xDD fiwst ÚwÚ finds >w< it :3 so. 

OwO [Sings] ^w^ Foows xDD had ^w^ nye'ew less xDD gwace uWu in :3 a >w< yeaw, 
For uWu wise ;;w;; men OwO awe grown :33 foppish; 
^-^ They ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how uWu theiw :33 wits to OwO weaw, 
^-^ Theiw ^w^ mannyews OwO awe UwU so OwO apish. 

>w< Weaw. x3 When :3 wewe xDD you UwU wont to be UwU so full of >_< songs, ÚwÚ siwwah? 
^w^ Foow. UwU I uWu have ;;w;; us'd :33 it, ^-^ nyuncwe, OwO evew xDD since xDD thou ;;w;; mad'st >w< thy >_> daughtews 
>w< thy mothew; fow when xDD thou >w< gav'st them x3 the ;;w;; wod, ÚwÚ and ^w^ put'st down 
^.^ thinye UwU own :3 bweeches, 

OwO [Sings] UwU Then ;;w;; they fow ^.^ sudden joy uWu did >_> weep, 
xDD And UwU I fow sorrow ^-^ sung, 
:33 That xDD such :3 a x3 king >_> shouwd :33 pway ^w^ bo-peep 
xDD And OwO go x3 the foows xDD among. 

Prithee, ^-^ nyuncwe, >_< keep :3 a x3 schoowmastew :3 that ^.^ can >_< teach >w< thy >w< foow to 
xDD wie. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain :3 weawn to xDD wie. 
>w< Weaw. ^-^ An xDD you wie, sirrah, we'll uWu have xDD you OwO whipp'd. 
^w^ Foow. UwU I :3 mawvew >_> what ^-^ kin xDD thou ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_> daughtews x3 awe. x3 They'ww uWu have ;;w;; me 
whipp'd fow speaking true; thou'lt uWu have ;;w;; me whipp'd fow lying; 
ÚwÚ and x3 sometimes UwU I ^w^ am whipp'd fow uWu howding x3 my peace. UwU I xDD had rather be 
xDD any uWu kind ^.^ o' ^.^ thing than :3 a foow! xDD And yet UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be ÚwÚ thee, 
nyuncwe. ^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 pawed >w< thy wit ^.^ o' both >w< sides ÚwÚ and left >_< nyothing 
:33 i' x3 th' xDD middwe. :3 Hewe x3 comes one ^.^ o' x3 the :3 pawings. 

Entew ^-^ Gonyewiw. 

>w< Weaw. How now, daughter? >_> What x3 makes :3 that uWu fwontwet ^-^ on? Methinks xDD you 
OwO awe ^w^ too much ^.^ o' wate :33 i' x3 th' fwown. 
^w^ Foow. ^.^ Thou >w< wast :3 a OwO pwetty fewwow when xDD thou >w< hadst nyo >_< nyeed to :3 cawe fow 
her frowning. Now xDD thou awt >w< an x3 O ^-^ without :3 a ^.^ figuwe. UwU I ^w^ am xDD bettew 
than xDD thou awt >w< nyow: UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 foow, xDD thou awt OwO nyothing. 
:33 [To >_< Gonyewiw] Yes, xDD fowsooth, UwU I xDD wiww howd x3 my :33 tongue. ^w^ So x3 youw OwO face 
UwU bids uWu me, ^w^ though xDD you >_> say OwO nyothing. Mum, ÚwÚ mum! 

>w< He :3 that keeps nor crust nor cwum, 
:33 Weawy of all, UwU shaww ^.^ want ^.^ some.- 

OwO [Points uWu at Lear] >w< That's :3 a :33 sheaw'd peascod. 
Gon. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> onwy, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ this x3 youw >_< aww-wicens'd x3 foow, 
OwO But othew of x3 youw UwU insowent wetinyue 
Do hourly >_< cawp ÚwÚ and quarrel, breaking fowth 
^w^ In rank ÚwÚ and :33 nyot-to-be-enduwed riots. UwU Siw, 
UwU I xDD had ^-^ thought, ^.^ by x3 making ÚwÚ this weww ÚwÚ knyown >w< unto UwU you, 
;;w;; To uWu have >_> found :3 a >_< safe :33 wedwess, >_> but nyow gwow x3 feawfuw, 
^-^ By >_> what yourself, :3 too, wate uWu have ^-^ spoke ÚwÚ and :33 donye, 
:33 That xDD you x3 pwotect ÚwÚ this course, ÚwÚ and put >w< it on 
^-^ By x3 youw allowance; which >_> if xDD you should, x3 the ;;w;; fauwt 
Wouwd nyot ;;w;; scape ;;w;; censuwe, nor x3 the redresses sweep, 
>_< Which, uWu in x3 the xDD tendew of :3 a whowesome weal, 
^.^ Might uWu in uWu theiw >w< wowking UwU do xDD you :3 that offence 
>_< Which >_> ewse :3 wewe UwU shame, :3 that xDD then ;;w;; nyecessity 
:3 Must caww >w< discweet ^w^ pwoceeding. 
^w^ Foow. For xDD you knyow, ^-^ nyuncwe, 

uWu The xDD hedge-spawwow ÚwÚ fed x3 the ;;w;; cuckoo UwU so ^-^ wong 
:33 That >w< it xDD had >w< it >_> head xDD bit x3 off ^.^ by >w< it ^w^ young. 

^w^ So x3 out OwO went x3 the ÚwÚ candwe, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we :3 wewe left darkling. 
>w< Weaw. ^w^ Awe xDD you UwU ouw daughter? 
Gon. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_< make use of :3 that ÚwÚ good ^.^ wisdom 
:3 Wheweof UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; fwaught, ÚwÚ and put OwO away 
;;w;; These ^w^ dispositions :3 that of wate UwU twansfowm xDD you 
Fwom >_> what xDD you rightly x3 awe. 
^w^ Foow. ^-^ May nyot >w< an >w< ass ^.^ knyow when x3 the xDD cawt ÚwÚ dwaws x3 the ^-^ howse? 
:3 Whoop, x3 Jug, UwU I wuv uWu thee! 
>w< Weaw. ^-^ Doth xDD any OwO hewe ^.^ knyow me? This >_> is nyot >w< Weaw. 
^-^ Doth :3 Weaw UwU wawk >_< thus? speak >_< thus? Whewe OwO awe :33 his uWu eyes? 
^-^ Eithew :33 his nyotion ^w^ weakens, :33 his UwU discewnyings 
^w^ Awe lethargied- uWu Ha! OwO waking? 'Tis nyot so! 
Who >_> is >w< it :3 that ^.^ can tell ;;w;; me who UwU I :33 am? 
^w^ Foow. Lear's ^.^ shadow. 
>w< Weaw. UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 weawn :33 that; for, ^.^ by x3 the >w< mawks of ^.^ suvweignty, 
ÚwÚ Knyowwedge, ÚwÚ and weason, UwU I >_> shouwd be UwU fawse >w< pewsuaded 
UwU I xDD had daughters. 
^w^ Foow. >_< Which ;;w;; they xDD wiww >_< make >w< an obedient :33 fathew. 
>w< Weaw. uWu Youw :33 nyame, >w< faiw gentwewoman? 
Gon. This admiration, ^w^ siw, >_> is much ^.^ o' x3 th' savouw 
Of othew x3 youw x3 nyew >_> pwanks. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech xDD you 
;;w;; To understand x3 my uWu puwposes aright. 
;;w;; As xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and wevewend, xDD you >_> shouwd be uWu wise. 
:3 Hewe UwU do xDD you >_< keep :3 a :3 hundwed :3 knyights ÚwÚ and squires; 
OwO Men UwU so disowdew'd, UwU so xDD debosh'd, ÚwÚ and bold 
:33 That ÚwÚ this UwU ouw xDD couwt, xDD infected with uWu theiw :3 mannyews, 
uWu Shows ^.^ wike :3 a riotous inn. ^.^ Epicuwism ÚwÚ and lust 
^-^ Make >w< it ^.^ mowe ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ tavewn ow :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew 
Than :3 a ÚwÚ gwac'd palace. uWu The ^-^ shame itsewf xDD doth speak 
For x3 instant UwU wemedy. ^w^ Be xDD then desir'd 
^-^ By her :3 that >_> ewse xDD wiww OwO take x3 the ^.^ thing ^.^ she begs 
^-^ A xDD wittwe to x3 disquantity x3 youw twain, 
xDD And x3 the ^.^ wemaindew :3 that UwU shaww still :3 depend 
;;w;; To be xDD such ;;w;; men >_< as OwO may ^.^ besowt x3 youw age, 
>_< Which ^.^ knyow ^.^ themsewves, ÚwÚ and OwO you. 
>w< Weaw. ;;w;; Dawknyess ÚwÚ and deviws! 
Saddle x3 my ^w^ howses! ;;w;; Caww x3 my twain ;;w;; togethew! 
Degenerate ÚwÚ bastawd, I'll nyot >_> twoubwe ÚwÚ thee; 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu have UwU I left :3 a >w< daughtew. 
Gon. >_> You strike x3 my >_> peopwe, ÚwÚ and x3 youw disorder'd rabble 
^-^ Make :3 sewvants of uWu theiw ÚwÚ bettews. 

Entew ;;w;; Awbany. 

>w< Weaw. ;;w;; Woe :3 that ^w^ too wate ^-^ wepents!- >_< O, ^w^ siw, OwO awe xDD you come? 
Is >w< it x3 youw xDD wiww? ÚwÚ Speak, siw!- Pwepawe x3 my :33 howses. 
;;w;; Ingwatitude, xDD thou mawbwe-heawted ^.^ fiend, 
uWu Mowe ^-^ hideous when xDD thou xDD show'st uWu thee uWu in :3 a chiwd 
Than x3 the x3 sea-monstew! 
Awb. ÚwÚ Pway, ^w^ siw, be uWu patient. 
>w< Weaw. >_> [to >_< Gonyewiw] :3 Detested kite, xDD thou >_< wiest! 
OwO My twain OwO awe ;;w;; men of UwU choice ÚwÚ and ^.^ wawest xDD pawts, 
:33 That aww pawticuwaws of >_> duty ^.^ knyow 
xDD And uWu in x3 the UwU most exact regard support 
uWu The worships of uWu theiw nyame.- x3 O UwU most UwU smaww ^w^ fauwt, 
How ugwy :33 didst xDD thou uWu in >_< Cowdewia ÚwÚ show! 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike >w< an enginye, ;;w;; wwench'd x3 my fwame of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
Fwom x3 the fix'd pwace; >w< dwew from x3 my >_< heawt aww wuv 
xDD And >_< added to x3 the xDD gaww. x3 O Lear, Lear, UwU Weaw! 
uWu Beat uWu at ÚwÚ this uWu gate :3 that wet >w< thy >w< fowwy uWu in [Strikes :33 his ^-^ head.] 
xDD And >w< thy uWu deaw ^w^ judgment out! ^w^ Go, x3 go, x3 my ^-^ peopwe. 
Awb. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^w^ am guiwtwess, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ ignyowant 
Of >_> what hath x3 mov'd OwO you. 
>w< Weaw. ^.^ It OwO may be >_> so, x3 my OwO wowd. 
:33 Heaw, OwO Nyatuwe, hear! uWu deaw xDD goddess, hear! 
^w^ Suspend >w< thy xDD puwpose, >_> if xDD thou :33 didst intend 
;;w;; To >_< make ÚwÚ this creature fwuitfuw. 
^.^ Into her womb :33 convey ^w^ stewiwity; 
;;w;; Dwy x3 up uWu in her x3 the >_< owgans of :3 incwease; 
xDD And from her derogate >w< body >_< nyevew ^-^ spwing 
^-^ A >w< babe to honour >_> hew! ;;w;; If ^.^ she ^w^ must ^.^ teem, 
Create her chiwd of >w< spween, :3 that >w< it OwO may ^w^ wive 
xDD And be :3 a thwawt ÚwÚ disnyatuw'd x3 towment to her. 
Let >w< it stamp ^.^ wwinkwes uWu in her ^w^ bwow of youth, 
With :3 cadent tears fret ^w^ channyews uWu in her cheeks, 
Tuwn aww her ;;w;; mothew's ^w^ pains ÚwÚ and benyefits 
;;w;; To :33 waughtew ÚwÚ and ^.^ contempt, :3 that ^.^ she OwO may x3 feew 
How sharper than :3 a serpent's ^.^ tooth >w< it >_> is 
;;w;; To uWu have :3 a thankwess >_> chiwd! :33 Away, away! ÚwÚ Exit. 
Awb. >_> Nyow, gods :3 that ^.^ we :33 adowe, xDD wheweof x3 comes :3 this? 
Gon. xDD Nyevew UwU affwict >_> youwsewf to ^.^ knyow x3 the cause; 
OwO But wet :33 his uWu disposition uWu have :3 that ;;w;; scope 
:33 That ^.^ dotage ;;w;; gives :3 it. 

Entew >w< Weaw. 

>w< Weaw. What, :33 fifty of x3 my ÚwÚ fowwowews uWu at :3 a cwap? 
OwO Within :3 a xDD fowtnyight? 
Awb. x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, UwU siw? 
>w< Weaw. I'll tell thee. :33 [To >_< Gonyewiw] Life ÚwÚ and ;;w;; death! UwU I ^w^ am >w< asham'd 
:33 That xDD thou x3 hast powew to ;;w;; shake x3 my manhood ^.^ thus; 
:33 That these :3 hot ^-^ teaws, which bweak from ;;w;; me pewfowce, 
Should >_< make uWu thee ^.^ wowth OwO them. x3 Bwasts ÚwÚ and fogs ;;w;; upon uWu thee! 
xDD Th' >_< untented :3 woundings of :3 a father's UwU cuwse 
Piewce every sense about thee!- ^-^ Owd fond ^w^ eyes, 
^w^ Beweep ÚwÚ this cause OwO again, I'll pluck OwO ye ^.^ out, 
xDD And ;;w;; cast UwU you, with x3 the watews :3 that xDD you OwO wose, 
;;w;; To xDD tempew cway. Yea, >_> is >w< it come to :3 this? 
Let >w< it be :3 so. ÚwÚ Yet uWu have UwU I left :3 a ^w^ daughtew, 
Who UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe >_> is uWu kind ÚwÚ and comfowtabwe. 
x3 When ^.^ she UwU shaww hear ÚwÚ this of ÚwÚ thee, with her >_< nyaiws 
OwO She'ww >w< fway >w< thy wolvish ^-^ visage. ^.^ Thou shalt find 
:33 That I'll ^.^ wesume x3 the xDD shape which xDD thou dost think 
UwU I uWu have ;;w;; cast x3 off fow evew; xDD thou >w< shawt, UwU I :33 wawwant thee. 
Exeunt [Weaw, UwU Kent, ÚwÚ and >w< Attendants]. 
Gon. Do xDD you mark :3 that, x3 my xDD wowd? 
Awb. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot be UwU so UwU pawtiaw, Gonyewiw, 
;;w;; To x3 the great wuv UwU I UwU beaw xDD you - 
Gon. >_> Pway UwU you, UwU content.- What, OwO Oswawd, ho! 
:33 [To x3 the Foow] >_< You, ^w^ siw, ^.^ mowe x3 knyave than x3 foow, ÚwÚ aftew x3 youw x3 mastew! 
^w^ Foow. OwO Nyuncwe Lear, nyuncwe Lear, tarry! ^.^ Take x3 the >w< foow with thee. 

^-^ A fox when one >_> has caught hew, 
xDD And xDD such :3 a ^w^ daughtew, 
Should >_< suwe to x3 the slaughter, 
;;w;; If x3 my cap ^.^ wouwd UwU buy :3 a OwO hawtew. 
^w^ So x3 the >w< foow xDD fowwows >w< aftew. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Gon. This x3 man hath xDD had ÚwÚ good >_< counsew! ^-^ A :3 hundwed knights? 
'Tis ;;w;; powitic ÚwÚ and >_< safe to wet ^.^ him >_< keep 
At :33 point :3 a :3 hundwed knyights; :3 yes, :3 that on every x3 dweam, 
x3 Each UwU buzz, >_< each >_> fancy, >_< each ^-^ compwaint, dislike, 
>w< He OwO may enguawd :33 his ^.^ dotage with uWu theiw pow'rs 
xDD And howd UwU ouw ;;w;; wives uWu in mercy.- OwO Oswawd, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
Awb. xDD Weww, xDD you OwO may feaw ^w^ too far. 
Gon. ^-^ Safew than :33 twust ^w^ too far. 
Let ;;w;; me still OwO take OwO away x3 the :33 hawms UwU I ;;w;; feaw, 
ÚwÚ Nyot feaw still to be >_< taken. UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his ;;w;; heawt. 
>_> What ^.^ he hath OwO uttew'd UwU I uWu have ^-^ wwit x3 my sister. 
;;w;; If ^.^ she >_< sustain ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 hundwed knights, 
x3 When UwU I uWu have ^w^ show'd x3 th' >_< unfitnyess- 

Entew [Oswald ^w^ the] ÚwÚ Stewawd. 

How now, Oswawd? 
What, uWu have xDD you ^-^ wwit :3 that >_> wettew to x3 my ^-^ sistew? 
>_< Osw. Yes, UwU madam. 
Gon. ^.^ Take xDD you x3 some xDD company, ÚwÚ and OwO away to UwU howse! 
Inform her full of x3 my xDD pawticuwaw ;;w;; feaw, 
xDD And thereto >_< add xDD such weasons of x3 youw UwU own 
;;w;; As OwO may compact >w< it more. >_< Get xDD you >w< gonye, 
xDD And x3 hasten x3 youw wetuwn. ;;w;; [Exit Oswald.] :3 Nyo, no, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
This milky ^-^ gentwenyess ÚwÚ and course of >_< youws, 
;;w;; Though UwU I >_< condemn >w< it >_> nyot, ^w^ yet, :33 undew pardon, 
>_> You OwO awe much ^.^ mowe uWu at :3 task fow ^.^ want of ^.^ wisdom 
Than UwU pwais'd fow ;;w;; hawmfuw mildness. 
Awb. How uWu faw x3 youw eyes OwO may xDD piewce UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell. 
^w^ Stwiving to better, ;;w;; oft ^.^ we >_> maw UwU what's well. 
Gon. Nyay ^.^ then- 
Awb. xDD Weww, well; x3 th' UwU event. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene V. 
UwU Couwt >w< befowe x3 the >w< Duke of Awbany's OwO Pawace. 

Entew Lear, UwU Kent, ÚwÚ and ^w^ Foow. 

>w< Weaw. Go xDD you >w< befowe to uWu Gwoucestew with these letters. :3 Acquaint x3 my 
daughter nyo further with ;;w;; anything xDD you ^.^ knyow than x3 comes from her 
;;w;; demand x3 out of x3 the >_> wettew. ;;w;; If x3 youw diligence be nyot :33 speedy, UwU I 
UwU shaww be there ^-^ afowe OwO you. 
Kent. UwU I xDD wiww nyot sweep, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< tiww UwU I uWu have ^-^ dewivewed x3 youw >_> wettew. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
^w^ Foow. ;;w;; If :3 a :33 man's brains :3 wewe in's heews, were't nyot uWu in danger of 
:3 kibes? 
>w< Weaw. Ay, uWu boy. 
^w^ Foow. UwU Then UwU I :33 pwithee be x3 mewwy. x3 Thy wit UwU shaww ^w^ nye'ew OwO go swip-shod. 
>w< Weaw. >w< Ha, ha, :33 ha! 
^w^ Foow. >_> Shawt >_> see >w< thy othew daughter xDD wiww use uWu thee kindwy; fow ^w^ though 
^w^ she's >_< as ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this >_< as :3 a cwab's ^.^ wike >w< an x3 appwe, yet UwU I ^.^ can tell 
>_> what UwU I ^.^ can tell. 
>w< Weaw. >_> What ;;w;; canst uWu teww, boy? 
^w^ Foow. OwO She'ww >_> taste >_< as ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this >_< as :3 a cwab does to :3 a >_< cwab. ^.^ Thou 
;;w;; canst tell >w< why one's x3 nyose >w< stands :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; middwe UwU on's ^.^ face? 
>w< Weaw. No. 
^w^ Foow. Why, to >_< keep one's eyes of xDD eithew side's nose, :3 that >_> what :3 a 
x3 man ;;w;; cannyot smell ^.^ out, xDD 'a OwO may ^w^ spy ^w^ into. 
>w< Weaw. UwU I uWu did her wrong. 
^w^ Foow. ÚwÚ Canst tell >w< how >w< an oystew x3 makes :33 his shell? 
>w< Weaw. No. 
^w^ Foow. x3 Nyow UwU I UwU nyeithew; >_> but UwU I ^.^ can tell >w< why :3 a snail >_> has :3 a ÚwÚ house. 
>w< Weaw. xDD Why? 
^w^ Foow. Why, to put's >_> head UwU in; nyot to UwU give >w< it OwO away to :33 his ^w^ daughtews, 
ÚwÚ and OwO weave :33 his >w< howns ^-^ without :3 a :3 case. 
>w< Weaw. UwU I xDD wiww x3 fowget x3 my :33 nyatuwe. ^w^ So uWu kind :3 a :33 fathew!- ^w^ Be x3 my :3 howses 
^-^ weady? 
^w^ Foow. x3 Thy asses OwO awe >_> gonye about ^.^ 'em. uWu The reason >w< why x3 the ÚwÚ seven stars 
OwO awe nyo ^-^ moe than ÚwÚ seven >_> is :3 a OwO pwetty reason. 
>w< Weaw. >_< Because ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot :33 eight? 
^w^ Foow. Yes indeed. ^.^ Thou wouldst >_< make :3 a ÚwÚ good xDD foow. 
>w< Weaw. ;;w;; To ;;w;; tak't again ^w^ pewfowce! ^w^ Monstew ingratitude! 
^w^ Foow. ;;w;; If xDD thou OwO wewt x3 my x3 foow, ^-^ nyuncwe, UwU I'wd uWu have uWu thee beaten fow ^.^ being 
;;w;; owd >w< befowe >w< thy uWu time. 
>w< Weaw. How's ^-^ that? 
^w^ Foow. ^.^ Thou shouwdst nyot uWu have :33 been ;;w;; owd >w< tiww xDD thou >w< hadst :33 been uWu wise. 
>w< Weaw. >_< O, wet ;;w;; me nyot be mad, nyot mad, x3 sweet :3 heaven! 
^w^ Keep ;;w;; me uWu in ^-^ tempew; UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be OwO mad! 

[Entew :3 a >_> Gentweman.] 

How ^.^ nyow? ^w^ Awe x3 the :3 howses ^-^ weady? 
>_> Gent. >_> Weady, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>w< Weaw. ^.^ Come, uWu boy. 
^w^ Foow. :33 She ^w^ that's :3 a >_< maid now, ÚwÚ and ^-^ waughs uWu at x3 my departure, 
Shall nyot be :3 a >_< maid long, ^w^ unwess ^.^ things be :3 cut showtew 
:33 Exeunt. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. Scene ^.^ I. 
^-^ A court within x3 the ;;w;; Castwe of x3 the ^-^ Eaww of ^.^ Gwoucestew. 

Entew [Edmund ^w^ the] :33 Bastawd ÚwÚ and >w< Cuwan, :3 meeting. 

ÚwÚ Edm. :3 Save ÚwÚ thee, Cuwan. 
uWu Cuw. xDD And UwU you, sir. UwU I uWu have :33 been with x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and UwU given ^.^ him 
ÚwÚ nyotice :3 that x3 the >w< Duke of >_> Cownwaww ÚwÚ and uWu Wegan :33 his :3 Duchess xDD wiww be 
OwO hewe with ^.^ him ÚwÚ this OwO nyight. 
ÚwÚ Edm. How x3 comes ^-^ that? 
uWu Cuw. Nyay, UwU I ^.^ knyow not. >_> You uWu have heard of x3 the nyews >w< abwoad- UwU I >_> mean x3 the 
whisper'd onyes, fow ;;w;; they OwO awe yet >_> but xDD eaw-kissing OwO awguments? 
ÚwÚ Edm. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ I. >_> Pway UwU you, >_> what OwO awe >w< they? 
uWu Cuw. :3 Have xDD you heard of nyo ÚwÚ wikewy UwU waws toward 'twixt x3 the >w< two >_> Dukes 
of >_> Cownwaww ÚwÚ and Albany? 
ÚwÚ Edm. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a OwO wowd. 
uWu Cuw. >_> You OwO may UwU do, >w< then, uWu in uWu time. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, sir. ÚwÚ Exit. 
ÚwÚ Edm. uWu The >w< Duke be OwO hewe :3 to-nyight? uWu The :3 bettew! ^w^ best! 
This >w< weaves itsewf ^.^ pewfowce x3 into x3 my business. 
OwO My >w< fathew hath uWu set xDD guawd to OwO take x3 my bwothew; 
xDD And UwU I uWu have one ÚwÚ thing, of :3 a ^.^ queasy ^.^ question, 
>_< Which UwU I ^w^ must act. >_> Bwiefnyess ÚwÚ and fowtunye, >_< wowk! 
UwU Bwothew, :3 a word! >_< Descend! UwU Bwothew, UwU I ;;w;; say! 

Entew :3 Edgaw. 

OwO My >w< fathew ÚwÚ watches. x3 O ^w^ siw, fwy ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ pwace! 
Intewwigence >_> is UwU given :3 whewe xDD you OwO awe :3 hid. 
>_> You uWu have nyow x3 the ÚwÚ good ^w^ advantage of x3 the OwO nyight. 
:3 Have xDD you nyot >w< spoken uWu 'gainst x3 the >w< Duke of Cownwaww? 
He's xDD coming hithew; now, :33 i' x3 th' night, :33 i' x3 th' xDD haste, 
xDD And uWu Wegan with ^.^ him. :3 Have xDD you >_< nyothing uWu said 
>_> Upon :33 his party uWu 'gainst x3 the >w< Duke of Albany? 
Advise OwO youwsewf. 
ÚwÚ Edg. UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe on't, nyot :3 a OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I hear x3 my >w< fathew :3 coming. ^w^ Pawdon me! 
^w^ In x3 cunnying UwU I ^w^ must dwaw x3 my xDD swowd ;;w;; upon OwO you. 
^.^ Dwaw, xDD seem to ;;w;; defend :33 youwsewf; nyow ^.^ quit xDD you ^-^ weww.- 
xDD Yiewd! :3 Come >w< befowe x3 my :33 fathew. ^-^ Wight, :3 ho, here! 
:33 Fwy, OwO bwothew.- Torches, torches!- ^w^ So farewell. 
uWu Exit :3 Edgaw. 
;;w;; Some :3 bwood drawn on ;;w;; me ^.^ wouwd x3 beget opinyion 
Of x3 my ^.^ mowe >_< fiewce ^.^ endeavouw. [Stabs :33 his xDD awm.] UwU I uWu have :3 seen 
drunkards 
Do ^.^ mowe than ÚwÚ this uWu in spowt.- :3 Fathew, :33 fathew!- 
OwO Stop, UwU stop! No x3 hewp? 

Entew :33 Gwoucestew, ÚwÚ and Servants with xDD towches. 

Gwou. >_> Nyow, :3 Edmund, where's x3 the >w< viwwain? 
ÚwÚ Edm. :3 Hewe :33 stood ^.^ he uWu in x3 the >_> dawk, :33 his ^-^ shawp xDD swowd ^.^ out, 
Mumbwing of wicked ÚwÚ chawms, >_< conjuwing x3 the ;;w;; moon 
;;w;; To stand ^-^ 's auspicious ^w^ mistwess. 
Gwou. OwO But :3 whewe >_> is uWu he? 
ÚwÚ Edm. x3 Wook, ^w^ siw, UwU I UwU bweed. 
Gwou. Whewe >_> is x3 the villain, >_> Edmund? 
ÚwÚ Edm. >_< Fwed ÚwÚ this :3 way, sir. x3 When ^.^ by nyo means ^.^ he couwd- 
Gwou. :33 Puwsue :3 him, ho! Go >w< aftew. UwU [Exeunt x3 some Servants]. 
^-^ By nyo means UwU what? 
ÚwÚ Edm. xDD Pewsuade ;;w;; me to x3 the muwthew of x3 youw OwO wowdship; 
OwO But :3 that UwU I told ^.^ him x3 the revenging gods 
^w^ 'Gainst parricides uWu did aww uWu theiw :3 thundews ÚwÚ bend; 
OwO Spoke with >w< how manyifowd ÚwÚ and >w< stwong :3 a :3 bond 
uWu The chiwd UwU was bound to x3 th' ^-^ fathew- ^w^ siw, uWu in uWu finye, 
x3 Seeing >w< how woathwy opposite UwU I :33 stood 
;;w;; To :33 his unnyatuwaw xDD puwpose, uWu in UwU feww >_> motion 
With :33 his ^w^ pwepawed xDD swowd ^.^ he chawges ^.^ home 
OwO My unprovided ;;w;; body, UwU wanch'd >_< minye OwO awm; 
OwO But when ^.^ he saw x3 my best alarum'd ^.^ spiwits, 
Bowd uWu in x3 the quawwew's wight, wous'd to x3 th' encountew, 
:33 Ow >w< whethew ÚwÚ gasted ^.^ by x3 the noise UwU I made, 
Full ;;w;; suddenwy ^.^ he OwO fwed. 
Gwou. Let ^.^ him fwy far. 
ÚwÚ Nyot uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand UwU shaww ^.^ he wemain uncaught; 
xDD And found- dispatch. uWu The x3 nyobwe >w< Duke x3 my ^.^ mastew, 
OwO My ÚwÚ wowthy ^-^ awch ÚwÚ and OwO patwon, x3 comes to-night. 
^-^ By :33 his ÚwÚ authowity UwU I xDD wiww :3 pwocwaim >w< it 
:33 That ^.^ he which ^w^ find, ^.^ him UwU shaww OwO desewve UwU ouw thanks, 
>_< Bwinging x3 the murderous ^.^ caitiff to x3 the xDD stake; 
>w< He :3 that >_> conceaws :3 him, death. 
ÚwÚ Edm. x3 When UwU I UwU dissuaded ^.^ him from :33 his :3 intent 
xDD And >_> found ^.^ him ÚwÚ pight to UwU do :33 it, with curst ÚwÚ speech 
UwU I threaten'd to OwO discuvw ^.^ him. >w< He uWu wepwied, 
;;w;; 'Thou >w< unpossessing ÚwÚ bastawd, dost xDD thou >_< think, 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ wouwd stand OwO against ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ wouwd x3 the ^w^ weposaw 
Of xDD any ^w^ twust, virtue, ow ^.^ wowth uWu in uWu thee 
^-^ Make >w< thy wowds faith'd? No. >_> What UwU I >_> shouwd UwU deny 
xDD (As ÚwÚ this UwU I >w< wouwd; :33 ay, ^w^ though xDD thou :33 didst produce 
OwO My xDD vewy character), UwU I'wd turn >w< it aww 
;;w;; To >w< thy suggestion, >_> pwot, ÚwÚ and uWu damnyed pwactice; 
xDD And xDD thou ^w^ must >_< make :3 a :3 duwwawd of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they nyot xDD thought x3 the pwofits of x3 my :33 death 
^.^ Wewe xDD vewy x3 pwegnyant ÚwÚ and potential :33 spuws 
;;w;; To >_< make uWu thee >_> seek ;;w;; it.' 
Gwou. :3 Stwong ÚwÚ and fast'ned :33 viwwain! 
Wouwd ^.^ he UwU deny :33 his wettew? UwU I >_< nyevew ^w^ got ^.^ him. 
Tucket x3 within. 
Hawk, x3 the Duke's ÚwÚ twumpets! UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< why ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 
All ports I'll bar; x3 the viwwain UwU shaww nyot scape; 
uWu The >w< Duke ^w^ must gwant ;;w;; me x3 that. :33 Besides, :33 his ^-^ pictuwe 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> send uWu faw ÚwÚ and near, :3 that aww x3 the ^w^ kingdom 
^-^ May uWu have >_< due ^-^ nyote of :3 him, ÚwÚ and of x3 my land, 
>_> Woyaw ÚwÚ and natural ^-^ boy, I'll ^.^ wowk x3 the means 
;;w;; To >_< make uWu thee capable. 

Entew ;;w;; Cownwaww, x3 Wegan, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

;;w;; Cown. How now, x3 my x3 nyobwe >w< fwiend? Since UwU I ^-^ came ÚwÚ hithew 
>w< (Which UwU I ^.^ can caww >_> but now) UwU I uWu have heard ;;w;; stwange ;;w;; nyews. 
Weg. ;;w;; If >w< it be ^-^ twue, aww UwU vengeance x3 comes ^w^ too showt 
>_< Which ^.^ can pursue x3 th' ^-^ offendew. How ÚwÚ dost, x3 my xDD wowd? 
Gwou. x3 O UwU madam, x3 my ;;w;; owd >_< heawt >_> is UwU cwack'd, x3 it's crack'd! 
Weg. What, uWu did x3 my father's >_< godson >_> seek x3 youw :33 wife? 
>w< He ÚwÚ whom x3 my >w< fathew nam'd? uWu Youw x3 Edgaw? 
Gwou. x3 O UwU wady, UwU wady, ^-^ shame ^.^ wouwd uWu have >w< it >_> hid! 
Weg. Was ^.^ he nyot >_< companyion with x3 the riotous :3 knyights 
:33 That tend ;;w;; upon x3 my father? 
Gwou. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, UwU madam. 'Tis ^w^ too ÚwÚ bad, ^w^ too UwU bad! 
ÚwÚ Edm. Yes, UwU madam, ^.^ he UwU was of :3 that UwU consowt. 
Weg. No :3 mawvew xDD then ^w^ though ^.^ he :3 wewe :33 iww >_< affected. 
'Tis ;;w;; they uWu have put ^.^ him on x3 the ;;w;; owd :33 man's UwU death, 
;;w;; To uWu have x3 th' expense ÚwÚ and uWu waste of :33 his uWu wevenyues. 
UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent x3 evenying from x3 my :3 sistew 
:33 Been weww inform'd of ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and with xDD such cautions 
^.^ That, >_> if ;;w;; they come to ;;w;; sojouwn uWu at x3 my house, 
I'll nyot be :33 thewe. 
;;w;; Cown. x3 Nyow I, :33 assuwe ÚwÚ thee, Wegan. 
:3 Edmund, UwU I hear :3 that xDD you uWu have OwO shown x3 youw >w< fathew 
^-^ A UwU chiwdwike ^w^ office. 
ÚwÚ Edm. >_< 'Twas x3 my >_< duty, sir. 
Gwou. >w< He uWu did OwO bewway :33 his ^-^ pwactice, ÚwÚ and weceiv'd 
This ÚwÚ huwt xDD you see, :33 stwiving to >_< appwehend ^.^ him. 
;;w;; Cown. Is ^.^ he pursued? 
Gwou. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
;;w;; Cown. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be >_< taken, ^.^ he UwU shaww >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe 
^w^ Be feaw'd of xDD doing harm. ^-^ Make x3 youw UwU own xDD puwpose, 
How uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ stwength xDD you ÚwÚ pwease. For UwU you, :3 Edmund, 
>_< Whose viwtue ÚwÚ and ^.^ obedience xDD doth ÚwÚ this x3 instant 
^w^ So much ÚwÚ commend itself, xDD you UwU shaww be >_> ouws. 
Natures of xDD such >_> deep :33 twust ^.^ we UwU shaww much need; 
>_> You ^.^ we xDD fiwst x3 seize :3 on. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I UwU shaww serve UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
^-^ Twuwy, >w< howevew ewse. 
Gwou. For ^.^ him UwU I >_> thank x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
;;w;; Cown. >_> You ^.^ knyow nyot >w< why ^.^ we ^-^ came to x3 visit :3 you- 
Weg. ^-^ Thus x3 out of >w< season, thweading OwO dawk-ey'd OwO nyight. 
Occasions, x3 nyobwe :33 Gwoucestew, of x3 some ;;w;; poise, 
^-^ Whewein ^.^ we ^w^ must uWu have use of x3 youw xDD advice. 
Our >w< fathew ^.^ he hath ;;w;; wwit, UwU so hath UwU ouw ^-^ sistew, 
Of differences, which UwU I best xDD thought >w< it ;;w;; fit 
;;w;; To answew from UwU ouw >_> home. uWu The sevewaw xDD messengews 
Fwom >w< hence >_< attend dispatch. Our ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd fwiend, 
Way UwU comfowts to x3 youw x3 bosom, ÚwÚ and bestow 
uWu Youw needful counsel to UwU ouw business, 
>_< Which cwaves x3 the x3 instant ÚwÚ use. 
Gwou. UwU I serve UwU you, UwU madam. 
uWu Youw OwO Gwaces OwO awe >w< wight x3 wewcome. 
:33 Exeunt. >w< Fwouwish. 




Scene UwU II. 
^.^ Befowe :3 Gwoucestew's UwU Castwe. 

Entew Kent ÚwÚ and [Oswald ^w^ the] Stewawd, x3 sevewawwy. 

>_< Osw. ^-^ Good dawning to ÚwÚ thee, :3 fwiend. Awt of ÚwÚ this >_> house? 
Kent. uWu Ay. 
>_< Osw. Whewe OwO may ^.^ we uWu set UwU ouw horses? 
Kent. xDD I' x3 th' OwO miwe. 
>_< Osw. Prithee, >_> if xDD thou >_> wov'st uWu me, tell x3 me. 
Kent. UwU I wuv uWu thee not. 
>_< Osw. Why >w< then, UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow thee. 
Kent. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD had uWu thee uWu in Lipsbury Pinfold, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< make uWu thee :3 cawe fow 
x3 me. 
>_< Osw. Why dost xDD thou use ;;w;; me >_< thus? UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee not. 
Kent. ÚwÚ Fewwow, UwU I ^.^ knyow thee. 
>_< Osw. >_> What dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me for? 
Kent. ^-^ A knave; :3 a ^-^ wascaw; >w< an eatew of xDD bwoken ÚwÚ meats; :3 a base, :3 pwoud, 
^w^ shawwow, ^.^ beggawwy, :3 thwee-suited, hundwed-pound, filthy, 
:3 wowsted-stocking knave; :3 a uWu wiwy-wivew'd, UwU action-taking, whoweson, 
gwass-gazing, superserviceable, >w< finyicaw rogue; 
one-trunk-inheriting ;;w;; swave; one :3 that wouldst be :3 a ;;w;; bawd uWu in uWu way of 
ÚwÚ good sewvice, ÚwÚ and awt >_< nyothing >_> but x3 the composition of :3 a ^-^ knyave, 
beggar, xDD cowawd, pander, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< son ÚwÚ and heir of :3 a >_< mongwew UwU bitch; 
one ÚwÚ whom UwU I xDD wiww xDD beat x3 into ;;w;; cwamowous >_< whinying, >_> if xDD thou UwU deny x3 the 
least syllable of >w< thy >_> addition. 
>_< Osw. Why, >_> what :3 a monstwous fewwow awt UwU thou, OwO thus to waiw on one 
^w^ that's :3 nyeithew ÚwÚ knyown of uWu thee nor xDD knyows uWu thee! 
Kent. >_> What :3 a xDD bwazen-fac'd vawwet awt UwU thou, to UwU deny xDD thou knowest me! 
Is >w< it >w< two OwO days ^w^ ago xDD since UwU I xDD beat uWu thee ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twipp'd x3 up >w< thy heels 
>w< befowe x3 the >_> King? [Draws :33 his swowd.] ^.^ Dwaw, xDD you UwU wogue! for, ^w^ though 
>w< it be night, yet x3 the ;;w;; moon xDD shinyes. I'll >_< make :3 a xDD sop ^.^ o' x3 th' 
uWu moonshinye ^.^ o' OwO you. ^.^ Dwaw, xDD you UwU whoweson cuwwionwy ^w^ bawbewmongew! 
dwaw! 
>_< Osw. >_> Away! UwU I uWu have >_< nyothing to UwU do with thee. 
Kent. ^.^ Dwaw, xDD you rascal! >_> You come with x3 wettews OwO against x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and 
OwO take >_< Vanyity x3 the OwO puppet's ÚwÚ pawt OwO against x3 the xDD woyawty of her :33 fathew. 
^.^ Dwaw, xDD you :33 wogue, ow I'll UwU so >_> cawbonyado x3 youw x3 shanks! ^.^ Dwaw, xDD you 
rascal! :3 Come x3 youw :3 ways! 
>_< Osw. Hewp, ho! murther! :33 hewp! 
Kent. UwU Stwike, xDD you x3 swave! >_> Stand, UwU wogue! >_> Stand, xDD you neat x3 swave! 
Strike! :33 [Beats uWu him.] 
>_< Osw. Hewp, ho! murther! murther! 

Entew :3 Edmund, with :33 his rapier x3 dwawn, :33 Gwoucestew, ;;w;; Cownwaww, 
x3 Wegan, Sewvants. 

ÚwÚ Edm. How ^.^ nyow? x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? OwO Pawts [them]. 
Kent. With UwU you, ^.^ goodman ^-^ boy, >w< an xDD you UwU pwease! ^.^ Come, I'll >w< fwesh ;;w;; ye! 
:3 Come ;;w;; on, xDD young x3 mastew! 
Gwou. OwO Weapons? >_> awms? x3 What's x3 the ;;w;; mattew hewe? 
;;w;; Cown. ^w^ Keep ÚwÚ peace, ;;w;; upon x3 youw lives! 
>w< He dies :3 that :33 stwikes ;;w;; again. >_> What >_> is x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
Weg. uWu The xDD messengews from UwU ouw :3 sistew ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ King 
;;w;; Cown. >_> What >_> is x3 youw ;;w;; diffewence? :33 Speak. 
>_< Osw. UwU I ^w^ am scawce uWu in :33 bweath, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Kent. No marvel, xDD you uWu have UwU so >_> bestiww'd x3 youw ;;w;; vawouw. >_> You >w< cowawdwy 
^.^ wascaw, ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^-^ discwaims uWu in ÚwÚ thee; :3 a ^w^ taiwow UwU made thee. 
;;w;; Cown. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a ;;w;; stwange UwU fewwow. ^-^ A ^w^ taiwow >_< make :3 a man? 
Kent. Ay, :3 a :33 taiwow, sir. ^-^ A stonecutter ow :3 a paintew couwd nyot uWu have 
UwU made ^.^ him UwU so UwU iww, ^w^ though ^.^ he xDD had :33 been >_> but >w< two >_> houws uWu at x3 the twade. 
;;w;; Cown. ^w^ Speak ^w^ yet, >w< how ^-^ gwew x3 youw OwO quawwew? 
>_< Osw. This UwU ancient ^-^ wuffian, ^w^ siw, x3 whose >w< wife UwU I uWu have xDD spaw'd 
At >_> suit of :33 his ^w^ gwey >_< beawd- 
Kent. ^.^ Thou UwU whoweson uWu zed! xDD thou unnecessary letter! OwO My uWu wowd, >_> if 
you'ww UwU give ;;w;; me weave, UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; twead ÚwÚ this x3 unbowted viwwain x3 into 
>w< mowtaw ÚwÚ and ;;w;; daub x3 the OwO wawws of :3 a >_< jakes with ^.^ him. uWu 'Spawe x3 my ^w^ gwey 
beawd,' xDD you wagtail? 
;;w;; Cown. uWu Peace, siwwah! 
>_> You OwO beastwy ^-^ knyave, ^.^ knyow xDD you nyo ^.^ wevewence? 
Kent. Yes, ^w^ siw, >_> but ÚwÚ angew hath :3 a >_< pwiviwege. 
;;w;; Cown. Why awt xDD thou ^.^ angwy? 
Kent. :33 That xDD such :3 a ;;w;; swave >_< as ÚwÚ this >_> shouwd ^-^ weaw :3 a uWu swowd, 
Who ^-^ weaws nyo x3 honyesty. >w< Such x3 smiwing rogues >_< as OwO these, 
Wike OwO wats, ;;w;; oft ^-^ bite x3 the >w< howy cowds xDD atwain 
>_< Which OwO awe ^w^ too :3 intwinse t' uWu unwoose; x3 smooth every passion 
:33 That uWu in x3 the natures of uWu theiw wowds xDD webew, 
Bring oiw to ^w^ fiwe, >w< snyow to uWu theiw ^-^ cowdew ;;w;; moods; 
Renege, affirm, ÚwÚ and turn uWu theiw hawcyon ;;w;; beaks 
With every gawe ÚwÚ and >_< vawy of uWu theiw mastews, 
Knyowing xDD nyaught (like dogs) >_> but x3 fowwowing. 
^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon x3 youw epileptic ^-^ visage! 
Smile xDD you x3 my speeches, >_< as UwU I :3 wewe :3 a ^.^ foow? 
Goose, >w< an UwU I xDD had xDD you ;;w;; upon ^-^ Sawum OwO Pwain, 
UwU I'wd UwU dwive OwO ye ^-^ cackwing ^.^ home to :33 Camewot. 
;;w;; Cown. What, awt xDD thou mad, ;;w;; owd fewwow? 
Gwou. How UwU feww xDD you out? x3 Say x3 that. 
Kent. No contraries howd ^.^ mowe xDD antipathy 
Than UwU I ÚwÚ and xDD such :3 a knave. 
;;w;; Cown. Why dost xDD thou caww ^.^ him >_< knyave? >_> What >_> is :33 his xDD fauwt? 
Kent. ÚwÚ His >_< countenyance likes ;;w;; me not. 
;;w;; Cown. No ^.^ mowe x3 pewchance does >_> minye, ow his, ow hers. 
Kent. UwU Siw, UwU 'tis x3 my occupation to be plain. 
UwU I uWu have :3 seen xDD bettew faces uWu in x3 my time 
Than >w< stands on xDD any shoulder :3 that UwU I >_> see 
^.^ Befowe ;;w;; me uWu at ÚwÚ this ^.^ instant. 
;;w;; Cown. This >_> is x3 some fewwow 
UwU Who, xDD having :33 been UwU pwais'd fow >_> bwuntnyess, xDD doth affect 
^-^ A ^w^ saucy ÚwÚ woughnyess, ÚwÚ and constrains x3 the :3 gawb 
>_< Quite from :33 his :33 nyatuwe. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot fwattew, OwO he! 
^-^ An xDD honyest ^-^ mind ÚwÚ and :33 pwain- ^.^ he ^w^ must speak :3 twuth! 
^-^ An ;;w;; they xDD wiww OwO take :33 it, so; >_> if >_> nyot, uWu he's plain. 
;;w;; These uWu kind of knyaves UwU I ^.^ knyow which uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< pwainnyess 
^.^ Hawbouw ^.^ mowe cwaft ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe x3 cowwuptew uWu ends 
Than ÚwÚ twenty uWu siwwy-ducking ÚwÚ obsewvants 
:33 That stretch uWu theiw >_> duties ^w^ nyicewy. 
Kent. UwU Siw, uWu in ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, uWu in sincere verity, 
;;w;; Undew x3 th' :3 awwowance of x3 youw great ÚwÚ aspect, 
>_< Whose ^w^ infwuence, ^.^ wike x3 the wreath of OwO wadiant fire 
On flickering x3 Phoebus' uWu fwont- 
;;w;; Cown. >_> What x3 mean'st ^.^ by :3 this? 
Kent. ;;w;; To OwO go x3 out of x3 my OwO diawect, which xDD you OwO discommend UwU so :33 much. UwU I 
knyow, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^w^ am nyo flatterer. >w< He :3 that beguiw'd xDD you uWu in :3 a uWu pwain 
xDD accent UwU was :3 a uWu pwain ^-^ knyave, ^w^ which, fow x3 my >_> pawt, UwU I xDD wiww nyot be, 
^w^ though UwU I >_> shouwd x3 win x3 youw >_< dispweasuwe to entweat ;;w;; me to't. 
;;w;; Cown. >_> What UwU was x3 th' offence xDD you uWu gave him? 
>_< Osw. UwU I >_< nyevew uWu gave ^.^ him ÚwÚ any. 
^.^ It pleas'd x3 the ^w^ King :33 his >_< mastew xDD vewy wate 
;;w;; To strike uWu at uWu me, ;;w;; upon :33 his >_> misconstwuction; 
x3 When xDD he, UwU conjunct, ÚwÚ and flattering :33 his displeasure, 
UwU Twipp'd ;;w;; me :3 behind; ^.^ being ;;w;; down, >_< insuwted, UwU waiw'd 
xDD And put ;;w;; upon ^.^ him xDD such :3 a deal of x3 man 
:33 That UwU wowthied :3 him, ^w^ got pwaises of x3 the ^w^ King 
For ^.^ him uWu attempting who UwU was self-subdu'd; 
^.^ And, uWu in x3 the UwU fweshment of ÚwÚ this xDD dwead ^w^ expwoit, 
^.^ Dwew on ;;w;; me OwO hewe ;;w;; again. 
Kent. ^-^ Nyonye of these rogues ÚwÚ and ^w^ cowawds 
OwO But ^.^ Ajax >_> is uWu theiw xDD foow. 
;;w;; Cown. ^-^ Fetch fowth x3 the x3 stocks! 
>_> You ^-^ stubbown UwU ancient ^-^ knyave, xDD you reverent :3 bwaggawt, 
^-^ We'ww >_< teach :3 you- 
Kent. UwU Siw, UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too ;;w;; owd to UwU weawn. 
;;w;; Caww nyot x3 youw stocks fow x3 me. UwU I serve x3 the uWu King; 
On x3 whose >w< empwoyment UwU I UwU was sent to OwO you. 
>_> You UwU shaww UwU do UwU smaww wespect, x3 show ^w^ too bold malice 
^w^ Against x3 the xDD gwace ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ pewson of x3 my ^.^ mastew, 
Stocking :33 his :3 messengew. 
;;w;; Cown. ^-^ Fetch fowth x3 the x3 stocks! ;;w;; As UwU I uWu have >w< wife ÚwÚ and honyouw, 
>_> Thewe UwU shaww ^.^ he sit >w< tiww xDD nyoon. 
Weg. Tiww noon? Tiww night, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and aww >w< nyight ;;w;; too! 
Kent. Why, UwU madam, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe x3 youw father's dog, 
>_> You >_> shouwd nyot use ;;w;; me :3 so. 
Weg. UwU Siw, ^.^ being :33 his ^-^ knyave, UwU I :33 wiww. 
;;w;; Cown. This >_> is :3 a fewwow of x3 the x3 sewfsame colour 
Our :3 sistew xDD speaks uWu of. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing OwO away x3 the x3 stocks! 
;;w;; Stocks ^.^ bwought OwO out. 
Gwou. Let ;;w;; me :33 beseech x3 youw Gwace nyot to UwU do :3 so. 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; fauwt >_> is ÚwÚ much, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ good ^w^ King :33 his >_< mastew 
Will ^.^ check ^.^ him xDD fow't. uWu Youw ÚwÚ puwpos'd wow correction 
Is xDD such >_< as ^w^ basest ÚwÚ and :3 contemn'dest ÚwÚ wwetches 
For piwf'wings ÚwÚ and UwU most ^w^ common :33 twespasses 
^w^ Awe punyish'd with. uWu The ^w^ King ^w^ must OwO take >w< it :33 iww 
:33 That xDD he, UwU so swightwy vawued uWu in :33 his ^w^ messengew, 
Should uWu have ^.^ him OwO thus ^w^ westwain'd. 
;;w;; Cown. I'll answew x3 that. 
Weg. OwO My :3 sistew OwO may receive >w< it much ^.^ mowe ^-^ wowse, 
;;w;; To uWu have her ÚwÚ gentweman ÚwÚ abus'd, uWu assauwted, 
For fowwowing her x3 affaiws. >_> Put uWu in :33 his legs.- 
[Kent >_> is put uWu in x3 the :33 stocks.] 
^.^ Come, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, xDD away. 
Exeunt [all >_> but uWu Gwoucestew ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Kent]. 
Gwou. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy fow ÚwÚ thee, :3 fwiend. 'Tis x3 the Duke's x3 pweasuwe, 
>_< Whose uWu disposition, aww x3 the wowwd weww ;;w;; knyows, 
Will nyot be rubb'd nor ^.^ stopp'd. I'll entweat fow thee. 
Kent. >_> Pway UwU do >_> nyot, sir. UwU I uWu have UwU watch'd ÚwÚ and ^w^ twaveww'd hard. 
;;w;; Some time UwU I UwU shaww :33 sweep ^.^ out, x3 the xDD west I'll >_< whistwe. 
^-^ A ÚwÚ good :33 man's :3 fowtunye OwO may gwow x3 out uWu at xDD heews. 
Give xDD you ÚwÚ good OwO mowwow! 
Gwou. uWu The >w< Duke ^-^ 's to uWu bwame uWu in >_< this; 'twill be :33 iww >_< taken. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
Kent. ^-^ Good OwO King, :3 that ^w^ must approve x3 the ^w^ common ;;w;; saw, 
^.^ Thou x3 out of heaven's benediction UwU com'st 
;;w;; To x3 the wawm >_< sun! 
uWu Appwoach, xDD thou OwO beacon to ÚwÚ this :33 undew ^.^ gwobe, 
:33 That ^.^ by >w< thy >w< comfowtabwe beams UwU I OwO may 
Peruse ÚwÚ this >_> wettew. Nyothing almost sees miracles 
OwO But OwO misewy. UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis from Cowdewia, 
Who hath UwU most fortunately :33 been inform'd 
Of x3 my obscured couwse- ÚwÚ and [weads] 'shaww find time 
Fwom ÚwÚ this enormous state, UwU seeking to UwU give 
^w^ Wosses uWu theiw remedies'- All ÚwÚ weawy ÚwÚ and o'ewwatch'd, 
^.^ Take vantage, x3 heavy ^w^ eyes, nyot to behowd 
This >_> shamefuw ÚwÚ wodging. 
ÚwÚ Fowtunye, ÚwÚ good ^w^ nyight; ;;w;; smiwe >_> once >_> mowe, turn >w< thy UwU wheew. 
UwU Sweeps. 




Scene >_> III. 
uWu The open country. 

Entew :3 Edgaw. 

ÚwÚ Edg. UwU I heard mysewf pwocwaim'd, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ happy OwO howwow of :3 a twee 
Escap'd x3 the UwU hunt. No ^.^ powt >_> is >w< fwee, nyo :33 pwace 
:33 That xDD guawd ÚwÚ and UwU most >_< unyusuaw ^w^ vigiwance 
ÚwÚ Does nyot >_< attend x3 my >w< taking. Whiwes UwU I OwO may UwU scape, 
UwU I xDD wiww pwesewve >_< mysewf; ÚwÚ and ^w^ am uWu bethought 
;;w;; To OwO take x3 the ^w^ basest ÚwÚ and UwU most poowest xDD shape 
:33 That OwO evew xDD penyuwy, uWu in x3 contempt of ^w^ man, 
Bwought nyeaw to beast. OwO My OwO face I'll UwU gwime with >_< fiwth, 
Blanket x3 my >_< woins, elf aww x3 my >_< haiw uWu in UwU knyots, 
xDD And with pwesented ÚwÚ nyakednyess outface 
uWu The >_< winds ÚwÚ and persecutions of x3 the x3 sky. 
uWu The countwy ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me xDD pwoof ÚwÚ and xDD pwecedent 
Of Bedwam beggaws, who, with xDD woawing UwU voices, 
OwO Stwike uWu in uWu theiw ^w^ nyumb'd ÚwÚ and >_< mowtified OwO bawe :3 awms 
UwU Pins, ÚwÚ wooden ^.^ pwicks, nyaiws, spwigs of wosemawy; 
xDD And with ÚwÚ this howwibwe ÚwÚ object, from wow >_< fawms, 
OwO Poow >_< pewting villages, >_> sheepcotes, ÚwÚ and mills, 
:3 Sometime with wunyatic UwU bans, ÚwÚ sometime with pwayews, 
Enforce uWu theiw charity. 'Poor ÚwÚ Tuwwygod! poor :3 Tom!' 
>w< That's ^-^ something UwU yet! :33 Edgaw UwU I >_< nyothing am. ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene :33 IV. 
^.^ Befowe :3 Gwoucestew's Castwe; Kent uWu in x3 the ^w^ stocks. 

Entew Lear, Fool, ÚwÚ and ^w^ Gentweman. 

>w< Weaw. 'Tis ;;w;; stwange :3 that ;;w;; they >_> shouwd UwU so ÚwÚ depawt from ^.^ home, 
xDD And nyot >_> send back x3 my :3 messengew. 
>_> Gent. ;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ weawn'd, 
uWu The >w< nyight >w< befowe there UwU was nyo OwO puwpose uWu in them 
Of ÚwÚ this OwO wemuv. 
Kent. Hail to ÚwÚ thee, x3 nyobwe x3 mastew! 
>w< Weaw. uWu Ha! 
^w^ Mak'st xDD thou ÚwÚ this ^-^ shame >w< thy pastime? 
Kent. :3 Nyo, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ Foow. >w< Ha, :33 ha! look! ^.^ he ^-^ weaws UwU cwuew xDD gawtews. >_> Howses OwO awe tied ^.^ by x3 the 
head, ^.^ dogs ÚwÚ and bears ^.^ by x3 th' neck, :33 monkeys ^.^ by x3 th' >_< woins, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men 
^.^ by x3 th' wegs. x3 When :3 a :33 man's x3 uvw-wusty uWu at ^.^ wegs, xDD then ^.^ he ^-^ weaws 
ÚwÚ wooden xDD nyethew-stocks. 
>w< Weaw. x3 What's ^.^ he :3 that hath UwU so much >w< thy :33 pwace >_> mistook 
;;w;; To uWu set uWu thee hewe? 
Kent. ^.^ It >_> is both ^.^ he ÚwÚ and she- 
uWu Youw >_< son ÚwÚ and >w< daughtew. 
>w< Weaw. No. 
Kent. x3 Yes. 
>w< Weaw. :3 Nyo, UwU I :3 say. 
Kent. UwU I >_> say ^-^ yea. 
>w< Weaw. :3 Nyo, no, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd ^w^ nyot! 
Kent. Yes, ;;w;; they :3 have. 
>w< Weaw. ^-^ By Jupiter, UwU I >_< sweaw no! 
Kent. ^-^ By >_< Junyo, UwU I >_< sweaw :3 ay! 
>w< Weaw. ^-^ They x3 duwst nyot OwO do't; 
^-^ They ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, couwd nyot >_< do't. 'Tis xDD wowse than muwthew 
;;w;; To UwU do ;;w;; upon wespect xDD such :3 viowent >_> outwage. 
Resolve ;;w;; me with aww :3 modest ^.^ haste which uWu way 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ mightst OwO desewve ow ;;w;; they :3 impose ÚwÚ this ;;w;; usage, 
OwO Coming from >_> us. 
Kent. OwO My uWu wowd, when uWu at uWu theiw ^.^ home 
UwU I uWu did ÚwÚ commend x3 youw Highness' x3 wettews to ÚwÚ them, 
Ere UwU I UwU was ^.^ wisen from x3 the :33 pwace :3 that ^w^ show'd 
OwO My >_> duty knyeewing, ^-^ came there :3 a weeking ÚwÚ post, 
>_< Stew'd uWu in :33 his xDD haste, half breathless, ;;w;; panting fowth 
Fwom uWu Gonyewiw :33 his mistwess :3 sawutations; 
>_> Dewivew'd letters, x3 spite of xDD intewmission, 
>_< Which presently ;;w;; they ÚwÚ wead; on x3 whose contents, 
^-^ They summon'd x3 up uWu theiw meiny, ^w^ stwaight >_> took horse, 
x3 Commanded ;;w;; me to ;;w;; fowwow ÚwÚ and >_< attend 
uWu The leisure of uWu theiw ÚwÚ answew, uWu gave ;;w;; me UwU cowd looks, 
xDD And meeting OwO hewe x3 the othew ^w^ messengew, 
>_< Whose wewcome UwU I ^-^ pewceiv'd xDD had OwO poison'd ^-^ minye- 
uWu Being x3 the xDD vewy fewwow which of wate 
Dispway'd UwU so ^w^ sauciwy OwO against x3 youw :3 Highnyess- 
>_> Having ^.^ mowe x3 man than wit about uWu me, :3 dwew. 
>w< He >_> wais'd x3 the ;;w;; house with ÚwÚ woud ÚwÚ and x3 cowawd ^w^ cwies. 
uWu Youw >_< son ÚwÚ and daughter >_> found ÚwÚ this trespass ^.^ wowth 
uWu The ^-^ shame which OwO hewe >w< it ^.^ suffews. 
^w^ Foow. UwU Wintew's nyot >_> gonye ^w^ yet, >_> if x3 the >w< wiwd ^.^ geese fwy :3 that >_> way. 

x3 Fathews :3 that ^-^ weaw rags 
Do >_< make uWu theiw x3 chiwdwen :33 bwind; 
OwO But uWu fathews :3 that UwU beaw ;;w;; bags 
Shall >_> see uWu theiw x3 chiwdwen kind. 
ÚwÚ Fowtunye, :3 that uWu awwant ^-^ whowe, 
Nye'ew tuwns x3 the OwO key to x3 th' :3 poow. 

OwO But fow aww uWu this, xDD thou shalt uWu have >_< as UwU many dowouws fow >w< thy 
>_> daughtews >_< as xDD thou ;;w;; canst tell uWu in :3 a year. 
>w< Weaw. >_< O, >w< how ÚwÚ this mothew ^-^ swewws x3 up toward x3 my :33 heawt! 
Hystewica OwO passio! Down, xDD thou ^-^ cwimbing ÚwÚ sowwow! 
x3 Thy >_> ewement's ^.^ bewow! Whewe >_> is ÚwÚ this daughter? 
Kent. With x3 the Eaww, ^w^ siw, OwO hewe x3 within. 
>w< Weaw. Follow ;;w;; me x3 nyot; 
OwO Stay hewe. ÚwÚ Exit. 
>_> Gent. Made xDD you nyo ^.^ mowe offence >_> but >_> what xDD you speak UwU of? 
Kent. None. 
How chance x3 the ^w^ King x3 comes with UwU so UwU smaww :3 a :33 nyumbew? 
^w^ Foow. ^-^ An xDD thou >w< hadst :33 been uWu set :33 i' x3 th' stocks fow :3 that ^.^ question, 
ÚwÚ thou'dst weww OwO desewv'd :3 it. 
Kent. Why, ^.^ foow? 
^w^ Foow. ^-^ We'ww uWu set uWu thee to OwO schoow to >w< an ant, to >_< teach uWu thee there's nyo 
labouring :33 i' x3 th' winter. All :3 that ;;w;; fowwow uWu theiw :33 nyoses OwO awe x3 wed ^.^ by 
uWu theiw eyes >_> but ^w^ bwind men, ÚwÚ and there's nyot :3 a x3 nyose ^-^ among ÚwÚ twenty 
>_> but ^.^ can smell ^.^ him ^w^ that's stinking. Let OwO go >w< thy howd when :3 a great 
wheew wuns down :3 a >w< hiww, xDD west >w< it bweak >w< thy x3 nyeck with fowwowing 
uWu it; >_> but x3 the great one :3 that xDD goes upward, wet ^.^ him dwaw uWu thee >w< aftew. 
x3 When :3 a uWu wise x3 man ;;w;; gives uWu thee xDD bettew counsew, UwU give ;;w;; me >_< minye ;;w;; again. UwU I 
^.^ wouwd uWu have >_< nyonye >_> but knyaves ;;w;; fowwow :33 it, xDD since :3 a >w< foow ;;w;; gives :3 it. 
:33 That ^w^ siw which sewves ÚwÚ and >_> seeks fow :33 gain, 
xDD And xDD fowwows >_> but fow ÚwÚ fowm, 
Will OwO pack when >w< it ÚwÚ begins to xDD wain 
xDD And OwO weave uWu thee uWu in x3 the storm. 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww >_< tawwy; x3 the >w< foow xDD wiww ;;w;; stay, 
xDD And wet x3 the uWu wise x3 man fwy. 
uWu The x3 knyave tuwns >w< foow :3 that wuns :3 away; 
uWu The >w< foow nyo ^-^ knyave, uWu pewdy. 
Kent. Whewe weawn'd xDD you uWu this, ^.^ foow? 
^w^ Foow. ÚwÚ Nyot :33 i' x3 th' uWu stocks, xDD foow. 

Entew :3 Weaw ÚwÚ and uWu Gwoucestew 

>w< Weaw. >w< Deny to speak with me? ^-^ They OwO awe >_< sick? ;;w;; they OwO awe ÚwÚ weawy? 
^-^ They uWu have ^w^ twaveww'd aww x3 the night? Mere uWu fetches- 
uWu The UwU images of ;;w;; wevowt ÚwÚ and uWu fwying off! 
^-^ Fetch ;;w;; me :3 a xDD bettew answer. 
Gwou. OwO My uWu deaw uWu wowd, 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the fiery ;;w;; quawity of x3 the ;;w;; Duke, 
How unremovable ÚwÚ and fix'd ^.^ he >_> is 
^w^ In :33 his UwU own course. 
>w< Weaw. :33 Vengeance! UwU pwague! ;;w;; death! UwU confusion! 
x3 Fiewy? >_> What x3 quawity? Why, :33 Gwoucestew, :33 Gwoucestew, 
UwU I'wd speak with x3 the >w< Duke of >_> Cownwaww ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 wife. 
Gwou. xDD Weww, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have inform'd them :3 so. 
>w< Weaw. uWu Infowm'd them? uWu Dost xDD thou understand uWu me, man? 
Gwou. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
>w< Weaw. uWu The ^w^ King ^.^ wouwd speak with ÚwÚ Cownwaww; x3 the uWu deaw >w< fathew 
Wouwd with :33 his daughter :3 speak, ;;w;; commands her service. 
^w^ Awe ;;w;; they inform'd of :3 this? OwO My UwU bweath ÚwÚ and UwU bwood! 
x3 Fiewy? x3 the fiery Duke? Teww x3 the :3 hot >w< Duke >_< that- 
:3 Nyo, >_> but nyot UwU yet! ^-^ May be ^.^ he >_> is nyot well. 
Infirmity xDD doth still >_> nyegwect aww ^.^ office 
:33 Wheweto UwU ouw ^.^ heawth >_> is UwU bound. We OwO awe nyot ouwsewves 
x3 When nyatuwe, ^.^ being >w< oppwess'd, ;;w;; commands x3 the ^-^ mind 
;;w;; To suffew with x3 the body. I'll >_< fowbeaw; 
xDD And ^w^ am ;;w;; fawwen x3 out with x3 my ^.^ mowe headier :33 wiww, 
;;w;; To OwO take x3 the OwO indispos'd ÚwÚ and >_> sickwy ;;w;; fit 
For x3 the >_> sound >_< man.- >_> Death on x3 my ;;w;; state! ÚwÚ Whewefowe 
Should be sit hewe? This ;;w;; act pewsuades ;;w;; me 
:33 That ÚwÚ this remotion of x3 the >w< Duke ÚwÚ and her 
Is pwactice onwy. Give ;;w;; me x3 my xDD sewvant forth. 
Go tell x3 the >w< Duke ÚwÚ and ^-^ 's >w< wife UwU I'wd speak with OwO them- 
>_> Nyow, presently. x3 Bid them come fowth ÚwÚ and hear uWu me, 
:33 Ow uWu at uWu theiw x3 chambew doow I'll xDD beat x3 the drum 
Tiww >w< it cwy :33 sweep to death. 
Gwou. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have aww weww betwixt OwO you. ÚwÚ Exit. 
>w< Weaw. x3 O uWu me, x3 my uWu heawt, x3 my ;;w;; wising :33 heawt! OwO But ^-^ down! 
^w^ Foow. Cwy to :33 it, ^-^ nyuncwe, >_< as x3 the UwU cocknyey uWu did to x3 the eews when ^.^ she 
put x3 'em :33 i' x3 th' ^.^ paste alive. :33 She knyapp'd x3 'em ^.^ o' x3 th' ^-^ coxcombs with 
:3 a OwO stick ÚwÚ and cried OwO 'Down, OwO wantons, down!' >_< 'Twas her ÚwÚ bwothew :3 that, 
uWu in puwe OwO kindnyess to :33 his horse, >_> buttewed :33 his hay. 

Entew ;;w;; Cownwaww, x3 Wegan, :33 Gwoucestew, Sewvants. 

>w< Weaw. ^-^ Good mowwow to xDD you xDD both. 
;;w;; Cown. Hail to x3 youw Grace! 
Kent OwO hewe uWu set uWu at OwO wibewty. 
Weg. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. 
>w< Weaw. x3 Wegan, UwU I think xDD you >_< awe; UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> what reason 
UwU I uWu have to think :3 so. ;;w;; If xDD thou shouwdst nyot be gwad, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 divowce ;;w;; me from >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's ;;w;; tomb, 
x3 Sepuwchwing >w< an aduwtwess. :33 [To UwU Kent] >_< O, OwO awe xDD you >w< fwee? 
;;w;; Some othew time fow ÚwÚ that.- >_< Bewuvd x3 Wegan, 
x3 Thy OwO sistew's nyaught. x3 O x3 Wegan, ^.^ she hath tied 
>_< Shawp-tooth'd ;;w;; unkindnyess, ^.^ wike :3 a :33 vuwtuwe, here! 
ÚwÚ [Ways :33 his uWu hand on :33 his ^w^ heawt.] 
UwU I ^.^ can scawce speak to thee. Thou'lt nyot ^-^ bewieve 
With >w< how deprav'd :3 a :33 quawity- x3 O Regan! 
Weg. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, OwO take OwO patience. UwU I uWu have UwU hope 
>_> You less ^.^ knyow >w< how to value her desewt 
Than ^.^ she to :3 scant her duty. 
>w< Weaw. Say, >w< how >_> is ^-^ that? 
Weg. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot think x3 my :3 sistew uWu in x3 the least 
Wouwd fail her xDD obwigation. If, ^w^ siw, x3 pewchance 
:33 She uWu have >_< westwain'd x3 the wiots of x3 youw ÚwÚ fowwowews, 
'Tis on xDD such ground, ÚwÚ and to xDD such whowesome ^w^ end, 
;;w;; As clears her from aww blame. 
>w< Weaw. OwO My cuwses on >_> hew! 
Weg. >_< O, ^w^ siw, xDD you OwO awe old! 
ÚwÚ Nyatuwe uWu in xDD you >w< stands on x3 the xDD vewy ;;w;; vewge 
Of her uWu confinye. >_> You >_> shouwd be >w< wuw'd, ÚwÚ and x3 wed 
^-^ By x3 some discretion :3 that ^.^ discewns x3 youw >w< state 
uWu Bettew than xDD you OwO youwsewf. Therefore UwU I pray xDD you 
:33 That to UwU ouw :3 sistew xDD you UwU do >_< make OwO wetuwn; 
x3 Say xDD you uWu have wrong'd hew, sir. 
>w< Weaw. ;;w;; Ask her UwU fowgivenyess? 
Do xDD you >_> but mark >w< how ÚwÚ this x3 becomes x3 the ;;w;; house: 
ÚwÚ 'Deaw ^w^ daughtew, UwU I x3 confess :3 that UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ owd. uWu [Knyeews.] 
Age >_> is unnecessary. On x3 my knees UwU I ÚwÚ beg 
:33 That you'ww x3 vouchsafe ;;w;; me :33 waiment, ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and uWu food.' 
Weg. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, nyo uWu mowe! ;;w;; These OwO awe ^-^ unsightwy ^w^ twicks. 
Return xDD you to x3 my sister. 
>w< Weaw. [rises] Nyevew, Regan! 
:33 She hath :3 abated ;;w;; me of half x3 my >_< twain; 
Wook'd black ;;w;; upon OwO me; >w< stwuck ;;w;; me with her ;;w;; tongue, 
:3 Most uWu sewpent-wike, ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD vewy ;;w;; heawt. 
All x3 the ^.^ stow'd x3 vengeances of heaven faww 
On her UwU ingwatefuw OwO top! OwO Stwike her xDD young xDD bonyes, 
>_> You :3 taking >_> aiws, with ÚwÚ wamenyess! 
;;w;; Cown. OwO Fie, ^w^ siw, fie! 
>w< Weaw. >_> You >_< nyimbwe wightnyings, ^.^ dawt x3 youw bwinding flames 
^.^ Into her ÚwÚ scownfuw xDD eyes! Infect her >w< beauty, 
>_> You :3 fen-suck'd x3 fogs, drawn ^.^ by x3 the x3 pow'wfuw sun, 
;;w;; To faww ÚwÚ and bwast her ^.^ pwide! 
Weg. x3 O x3 the bwest ^-^ gods! UwU so xDD wiww xDD you ÚwÚ wish on ;;w;; me 
x3 When x3 the >_< wash ^w^ mood >_> is :3 on. 
>w< Weaw. :3 Nyo, x3 Wegan, xDD thou shalt >_< nyevew uWu have x3 my cuwse. 
x3 Thy tendew-hefted ÚwÚ nyatuwe UwU shaww nyot UwU give 
uWu Thee ^-^ o'ew to harshness. :3 Hew eyes OwO awe UwU fiewce; >_> but ^.^ thinye 
Do comfort, ÚwÚ and nyot :3 buwn. 'Tis nyot uWu in uWu thee 
;;w;; To >_< gwudge x3 my UwU pweasuwes, to :3 cut x3 off x3 my twain, 
;;w;; To >w< bandy >_> hasty wowds, to :3 scant x3 my :3 sizes, 
^.^ And, uWu in conclusion, to ;;w;; oppose x3 the OwO bowt 
^w^ Against x3 my xDD coming ^.^ in. ^.^ Thou xDD bettew ^w^ knyow'st 
uWu The ;;w;; offices of nyatuwe, :3 bond of >_< chiwdhood, 
Effects of couwtesy, dues of >_< gwatitude. 
x3 Thy half ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ kingdom x3 hast xDD thou nyot >w< fowgot, 
^-^ Whewein UwU I uWu thee x3 endow'd. 
Weg. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, to x3 th' puwpose. 
Tucket x3 within. 
>w< Weaw. Who put x3 my x3 man :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; stocks? 
;;w;; Cown. >_> What twumpet's ^-^ that? 
Weg. UwU I knyow't- x3 my sistew's. This >_> appwuvs her letter, 
:33 That ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd >w< soon be hewe. 

Entew [Oswald ^w^ the] ÚwÚ Stewawd. 

Is x3 youw uWu wady come? 
>w< Weaw. This >_> is :3 a :33 swave, x3 whose easy-bowwowed >_< pwide 
Dwells uWu in x3 the >_> fickwe xDD gwace of her ^.^ he :3 fowwows. 
Out, vawwet, from x3 my ;;w;; sight! 
;;w;; Cown. >_> What means x3 youw Gwace? 

Entew ^-^ Gonyewiw. 

>w< Weaw. Who stock'd x3 my servant? x3 Wegan, UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ good UwU hope 
^.^ Thou :33 didst nyot ^.^ knyow ;;w;; on't.- Who x3 comes hewe? x3 O OwO heavens! 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do wuv ;;w;; owd men, >_> if x3 youw x3 sweet xDD sway 
x3 Awwow x3 obedience- >_> if youwsewves OwO awe :3 owd, 
^-^ Make >w< it x3 youw >w< cause! >_< Send ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 my x3 pawt! 
:33 [To >_< Gonyewiw] Awt nyot >w< asham'd to wook ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this beawd?- 
x3 O x3 Wegan, wiwt xDD thou OwO take her ^.^ by x3 the hand? 
Gon. Why nyot ^.^ by x3 th' uWu hand, UwU siw? How uWu have UwU I >_< offended? 
^-^ Aww's nyot offence :3 that indiscwetion ÚwÚ finds 
xDD And ^.^ dotage terms :3 so. 
>w< Weaw. x3 O :33 sides, xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too ^-^ tough! 
Will xDD you yet ;;w;; howd? How ^-^ came x3 my x3 man :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; stocks? 
;;w;; Cown. UwU I uWu set ^.^ him thewe, siw; >_> but :33 his UwU own disowdews 
Desewv'd much less advancement. 
>w< Weaw. >_> You? Did you? 
Weg. UwU I pray UwU you, ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ being ÚwÚ weak, xDD seem :3 so. 
If, >w< tiww x3 the xDD expiwation of x3 youw ;;w;; month, 
>_> You xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn ÚwÚ and ;;w;; sojouwn with x3 my ^-^ sistew, 
^-^ Dismissing half x3 youw twain, come xDD then to x3 me. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyow from ^.^ home, ÚwÚ and x3 out of :3 that x3 pwovision 
>_< Which UwU shaww be needful fow x3 youw >w< entewtainment. 
>w< Weaw. Return to hew, ÚwÚ and :33 fifty ;;w;; men uWu dismiss'd? 
:3 Nyo, rather UwU I ^.^ abjuwe aww :33 woofs, ÚwÚ and choose 
;;w;; To xDD wage OwO against x3 the >_< enmity ^.^ o' x3 th' air, 
;;w;; To be :3 a ^.^ comwade with x3 the OwO wowf ÚwÚ and owl- 
:33 Nyecessity's ^-^ shawp ^.^ pinch! Return with OwO hew? 
Why, x3 the ÚwÚ hot-bwooded >_< Fwance, :3 that :33 dowewwess >_> took 
Our xDD youngest born, UwU I couwd >_< as weww be ^.^ bwought 
;;w;; To knyee :33 his throne, x3 and, squiwe-wike, >w< pension ÚwÚ beg 
;;w;; To >_< keep UwU base >w< wife UwU afoot. Return with OwO hew? 
xDD Pewsuade ;;w;; me rather to be ;;w;; swave ÚwÚ and ^w^ sumptew 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this :3 detested groom. OwO [Points uWu at Oswald.] 
Gon. At x3 youw ^w^ choice, sir. 
>w< Weaw. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ^w^ daughtew, UwU do nyot >_< make ;;w;; me >_> mad. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> twoubwe ÚwÚ thee, x3 my child; farewell. 
^-^ We'ww nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ meet, nyo ^.^ mowe >_> see one anyothew. 
OwO But yet xDD thou awt x3 my OwO fwesh, x3 my bwood, x3 my ;;w;; daughtew; 
:33 Ow rather :3 a ÚwÚ disease ^w^ that's uWu in x3 my OwO fwesh, 
>_< Which UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds caww ^w^ minye. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a boil, 
^-^ A pwague :33 sowe, >w< an :33 embossed cawbuncwe 
^w^ In x3 my cowwupted blood. OwO But I'll nyot UwU chide thee. 
Let ^-^ shame come when >w< it :33 wiww, UwU I UwU do nyot caww :3 it. 
UwU I UwU do nyot bid x3 the >w< Thundew-beawew >w< shoot 
x3 Nyow tell ;;w;; tawes of uWu thee to UwU high-judging uWu Juv. 
Mend when xDD thou >_> canst; be xDD bettew uWu at >w< thy leisure; 
UwU I ^.^ can be *giggles shyly* patient, UwU I ^.^ can xDD stay with x3 Wegan, 
UwU I ÚwÚ and x3 my :3 hundwed >_< knyights. 
Weg. ÚwÚ Nyot ;;w;; awtogethew :3 so. 
UwU I >_> wook'd nyot fow xDD you ^w^ yet, nor ^w^ am x3 pwovided 
For x3 youw ;;w;; fit x3 wewcome. Give eaw, ^w^ siw, to x3 my x3 sistew; 
For UwU those :3 that mingwe reason with x3 youw passion 
:3 Must be :3 content to think xDD you :3 owd, ÚwÚ and OwO so- 
OwO But ^.^ she xDD knyows >_> what ^.^ she does. 
>w< Weaw. Is ÚwÚ this weww :33 spoken? 
Weg. UwU I dawe OwO avouch :33 it, sir. What, :33 fifty :33 fowwowews? 
Is >w< it nyot ^.^ weww? >_> What >_> shouwd xDD you >_< nyeed of UwU mowe? 
Yea, ow UwU so UwU many, sith :3 that both :3 chawge ÚwÚ and danger 
^w^ Speak uWu 'gainst UwU so great :3 a :33 nyumbew? How uWu in one ;;w;; house 
Should UwU many >_> peopwe, :33 undew >w< two UwU commands, 
:33 Howd ^.^ amity? 'Tis hard; almost >_> impossibwe. 
Gon. Why ^w^ might nyot UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, receive ;;w;; attendance 
Fwom UwU those :3 that ^.^ she ;;w;; cawws x3 sewvants, ow from mine? 
Weg. Why >_> nyot, x3 my xDD wowd? ;;w;; If xDD then ;;w;; they chanc'd to ^w^ swack :3 ye, 
We couwd contwow OwO them. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww come to ;;w;; me 
:3 (Fow nyow UwU I ^w^ spy :3 a >_> dangew), UwU I entweat xDD you 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing >_> but five-and-twenty. ;;w;; To nyo ^.^ mowe 
Will UwU I UwU give :33 pwace ow OwO nyotice. 
>w< Weaw. UwU I uWu gave xDD you ;;w;; aww- 
Weg. xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ good time xDD you uWu gave :3 it! 
>w< Weaw. Made xDD you x3 my >_> guawdians, x3 my ;;w;; depositawies; 
OwO But :33 kept :3 a wesewvation to be fowwowed 
With xDD such :3 a nyumbew. What, ^w^ must UwU I come to xDD you 
With five-and-twenty, xDD Wegan? :33 Said xDD you so? 
Weg. xDD And ÚwÚ speak't again x3 my OwO wowd. No ^.^ mowe with x3 me. 
>w< Weaw. >w< Those wicked ^-^ cweatuwes yet UwU do wook weww-favouw'd 
x3 When ;;w;; othews OwO awe ^.^ mowe >_> wicked; nyot ^.^ being x3 the worst 
Stands uWu in x3 some rank of ;;w;; pwaise. :33 [To >_< Gonyewiw] I'll OwO go with thee. 
x3 Thy :33 fifty yet xDD doth :3 doubwe five-and-twenty, 
xDD And xDD thou awt twice her love. 
Gon. :33 Heaw, uWu me, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_> What >_< nyeed xDD you five-and-twenty, x3 ten, ow ÚwÚ five, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; fowwow uWu in :3 a ;;w;; house :3 whewe twice UwU so UwU many 
:3 Have :3 a ÚwÚ command to tend you? 
Weg. >_> What >_< nyeed onye? 
>w< Weaw. >_< O, reason nyot x3 the UwU nyeed! Our ^w^ basest x3 beggaws 
^w^ Awe uWu in x3 the poowest ^.^ thing superfluous. 
x3 Awwow nyot ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^.^ mowe than ÚwÚ nyatuwe :33 nyeeds, 
uWu Man's >w< wife >_> is cheap >_< as beast's. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a ;;w;; wady: 
;;w;; If >w< onwy to OwO go wawm :3 wewe ^-^ gowgeous, 
Why, ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_< nyeeds nyot >_> what xDD thou gowgeous ^.^ weaw'st 
>_< Which uWu scawcewy keeps uWu thee OwO wawm. But, fow true uWu nyeed- 
>_> You >w< heavens, UwU give ;;w;; me :3 that patience, uWu patience UwU I UwU nyeed! 
>_> You >_> see ;;w;; me UwU hewe, xDD you uWu gods, :3 a poor ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, 
;;w;; As full of grief >_< as >_> age; wwetched uWu in xDD both. 
;;w;; If >w< it be xDD you :3 that stiws these >_> daughtews' heawts 
^w^ Against uWu theiw ÚwÚ fathew, >w< foow ;;w;; me nyot UwU so much 
;;w;; To UwU beaw >w< it OwO tamewy; :33 touch ;;w;; me with x3 nyobwe anger, 
xDD And wet nyot x3 women's ^.^ weapons, UwU watew ÚwÚ dwops, 
>_< Stain x3 my :33 man's cheeks! :3 Nyo, xDD you unnyatuwaw >_> hags! 
UwU I xDD wiww uWu have xDD such :33 wevenges on xDD you both 
:33 That aww x3 the wowwd shaww- UwU I xDD wiww UwU do xDD such UwU things- 
>_> What ;;w;; they OwO awe ^w^ yet, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; >_> but ;;w;; they UwU shaww be 
uWu The terrors of x3 the ÚwÚ eawth! >_> You think I'll >_> weep. 
:3 Nyo, I'll nyot >_> weep. 
UwU I uWu have full cause of weeping, >_> but ÚwÚ this >_< heawt 
Shall bweak x3 into :3 a :3 hundwed thousand ^w^ fwaws 
:33 Ow ere I'll >_> weep. x3 O x3 foow, UwU I UwU shaww OwO go OwO mad! 
Exeunt Lear, :33 Gwoucestew, UwU Kent, ÚwÚ and ^w^ Foow. Storm ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; tempest. 
;;w;; Cown. Let >_> us :3 withdwaw; 'twill be :3 a storm. 
Weg. This ;;w;; house >_> is UwU wittwe; x3 the ;;w;; owd x3 man ÚwÚ and ^-^ 's OwO peopwe 
UwU Cannyot be weww >w< bestow'd. 
Gon. 'Tis :33 his UwU own ^w^ bwame; hath put >_< himsewf from xDD west 
xDD And ^w^ must >_< nyeeds >_> taste :33 his ^w^ fowwy. 
Weg. For :33 his UwU pawticuwaw, I'll receive ^.^ him xDD gwadwy, 
OwO But nyot one uWu fowwowew. 
Gon. ^w^ So ^w^ am UwU I :3 puwpos'd. 
Whewe >_> is x3 my Lord of ^.^ Gwoucestew? 
;;w;; Cown. Followed x3 the ;;w;; owd x3 man forth. 

Entew ^.^ Gwoucestew. 

>w< He >_> is ;;w;; wetuwn'd. 
Gwou. uWu The ^w^ King >_> is uWu in xDD high x3 wage. 
;;w;; Cown. x3 Whithew >_> is ^.^ he xDD going? 
Gwou. >w< He ;;w;; cawws to horse, >_> but xDD wiww UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot whither. 
;;w;; Cown. 'Tis best to UwU give ^.^ him way; ^.^ he weads himself. 
Gon. OwO My uWu wowd, entweat ^.^ him ^.^ by nyo means to >_< stay. 
Gwou. xDD Awack, x3 the >w< nyight x3 comes ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and x3 the bleak >_< winds 
Do sowewy OwO wuffwe. For UwU many >_< miwes about 
>_> Thewe's scawce :3 a :3 bush. 
Weg. >_< O, ^w^ siw, to ^.^ wiwfuw ;;w;; men 
uWu The x3 injuwies :3 that ;;w;; they x3 themsewves ;;w;; pwocuwe 
:3 Must be uWu theiw OwO schoowmastews. ÚwÚ Shut x3 up x3 youw x3 doows. 
>w< He >_> is ^w^ attended with :3 a despewate twain, 
xDD And >_> what ;;w;; they OwO may >w< incense ^.^ him ^.^ to, ^.^ being ^-^ apt 
;;w;; To uWu have :33 his ear ÚwÚ abus'd, ^.^ wisdom UwU bids ;;w;; feaw. 
;;w;; Cown. ÚwÚ Shut x3 up x3 youw doows, x3 my wowd: UwU 'tis :3 a >w< wiwd OwO nyight. 
OwO My uWu Wegan uWu counsews well. :3 Come x3 out ^.^ o' x3 th' storm. [Exeunt.] 




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^.^ ACT >_> III. Scene ^.^ I. 
^-^ A ;;w;; heath. 

Storm xDD stiww. Entew Kent ÚwÚ and :3 a Gentweman uWu at sevewaw x3 doows. 

Kent. Who's thewe, ;;w;; besides fouw :33 weathew? 
>_> Gent. x3 Onye >_> minded ^.^ wike x3 the x3 weathew, UwU most unquietly. 
Kent. UwU I ^.^ knyow OwO you. :3 Whewe's x3 the >_> King? 
>_> Gent. Contending with x3 the fwetfuw elements; 
:3 Bids x3 the wind ^w^ bwow x3 the ^.^ eawth x3 into x3 the :33 sea, 
:33 Ow sweww x3 the cuwwed watews xDD 'buv x3 the ^-^ main, 
:33 That ^.^ things ^w^ might change ow cease; tears :33 his ^-^ white hair, 
>_< Which x3 the ;;w;; impetuous xDD bwasts, with >_< eyewess rage, 
Catch uWu in uWu theiw UwU fuwy ÚwÚ and >_< make >_< nyothing OwO of; 
:33 Stwives uWu in :33 his xDD wittwe wowwd of x3 man to UwU outscown 
uWu The ;;w;; to-and-fwo-confwicting wind ÚwÚ and >_< wain. 
This night, wherein x3 the cub-dwawn UwU beaw ^.^ wouwd couch, 
uWu The wion ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 bewwy-pinched OwO wowf 
^w^ Keep uWu theiw >_< fuw ^.^ dwy, :3 unbonnyeted ^.^ he ^.^ wuns, 
xDD And UwU bids >_> what xDD wiww OwO take all. 
Kent. OwO But who >_> is with him? 
>_> Gent. ^-^ Nyonye >_> but x3 the x3 foow, who uWu wabouws to ^.^ outjest 
ÚwÚ His UwU heawt-stwuck ^-^ injuwies. 
Kent. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow UwU you, 
xDD And dawe ;;w;; upon x3 the :33 wawwant of x3 my ^-^ nyote 
>_< Commend :3 a uWu deaw ^.^ thing to OwO you. >_> Thewe >_> is OwO division 
(Awthough >_< as yet x3 the OwO face of >w< it be cover'd 
With ^-^ mutuaw ^-^ cunnying) 'twixt Albany ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Cownwaww; 
Who uWu have >_< (as who uWu have >_> nyot, :3 that uWu theiw great stars 
Thwon'd ÚwÚ and uWu set >_> high?) x3 sewvants, who xDD seem nyo UwU wess, 
>_< Which OwO awe to Fwance x3 the >w< spies ÚwÚ and specuwations 
ÚwÚ Intewwigent of UwU ouw state. >_> What hath :33 been uWu seen, 
^-^ Eithew uWu in snuffs ÚwÚ and >_< packings of x3 the ^w^ Dukes, 
:33 Ow x3 the x3 hawd wein which both of them uWu have :3 bownye 
^w^ Against x3 the ;;w;; owd uWu kind OwO King, ow ^-^ something deeper, 
Whereof, ÚwÚ pewchance, these OwO awe >_> but ÚwÚ fuwnyishings- 
But, true >w< it ;;w;; is, from Fwance there x3 comes :3 a powew 
^.^ Into ÚwÚ this x3 scattewed :33 kingdom, who already, 
^-^ Wise uWu in UwU ouw >_> nyegwigence, uWu have secret ;;w;; feet 
^w^ In x3 some of UwU ouw best ports ÚwÚ and OwO awe uWu at :33 point 
;;w;; To x3 show uWu theiw open ÚwÚ bannyew. Now to xDD you: 
;;w;; If on x3 my cwedit xDD you dawe buiwd UwU so uWu faw 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 youw ^w^ speed to uWu Duvw, xDD you UwU shaww find 
;;w;; Some :3 that xDD wiww >_> thank UwU you, x3 making >w< just wepowt 
Of >w< how unnyatuwaw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ bemadding sorrow 
uWu The ^w^ King hath cause to plain. 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of :3 bwood ÚwÚ and uWu bweeding, 
xDD And from x3 some >_< knyowwedge ÚwÚ and assurance offer 
This ^.^ office to OwO you. 
>_> Gent. UwU I xDD wiww tawk further with OwO you. 
Kent. :3 Nyo, UwU do not. 
For confirmation :3 that UwU I ^w^ am much ^.^ mowe 
Than x3 my out-waww, open ÚwÚ this >_< puwse ÚwÚ and OwO take 
>_> What >w< it ^w^ contains. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU shaww >_> see >_< Cowdewia 
xDD (As feaw nyot >_> but xDD you shaww), x3 show her ÚwÚ this *hugs tightly* wing, 
xDD And ^.^ she xDD wiww tell xDD you who x3 youw fewwow >_> is 
:33 That yet xDD you UwU do nyot :33 knyow. >w< Fie on ÚwÚ this >_> stowm! 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO go >_> seek x3 the ;;w;; King. 
>_> Gent. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. :3 Have xDD you nyo ^.^ mowe to ^.^ say? 
Kent. uWu Few wowds, but, to xDD effect, ^.^ mowe than aww yet: 
^.^ That, when ^.^ we uWu have >_> found x3 the ^w^ King >_> (in which x3 youw :33 pain 
:33 That :3 way, I'll ^.^ this), ^.^ he :3 that xDD fiwst wights on ^.^ him 
^.^ Howwa x3 the :3 othew. 
Exeunt ^.^ [sevewawwy]. 




Scene UwU II. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the ;;w;; heath. 

Storm xDD stiww. Entew :3 Weaw ÚwÚ and ^w^ Foow. 

>w< Weaw. Blow, winds, ÚwÚ and UwU cwack x3 youw cheeks! rage! bwow! 
>_> You ;;w;; catawacts ÚwÚ and huwwicanyoes, spout 
Tiww xDD you uWu have drench'd UwU ouw OwO steepwes, >w< dwown'd x3 the ^-^ cocks! 
>_> You >w< suwph'wous ÚwÚ and ;;w;; thought-executing ^-^ fiwes, 
Vaunt-couriers to oak-cweaving >w< thundewbowts, 
Singe x3 my ^-^ white ÚwÚ head! xDD And UwU thou, all-shaking thundew, 
OwO Stwike flat x3 the thick rotundity ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, 
Crack Nyatuwe's ;;w;; mouwds, aww uWu gewmains ^.^ spiww uWu at ^w^ once, 
:33 That x3 makes UwU ingwatefuw ;;w;; man! 
^w^ Foow. x3 O ^-^ nyuncwe, court >w< howy UwU watew uWu in :3 a xDD dwy ;;w;; house >_> is xDD bettew than ÚwÚ this 
xDD wain UwU watew x3 out ^.^ o' UwU doow. ^-^ Good ^-^ nyuncwe, x3 in, ÚwÚ and ^w^ ask >w< thy >_> daughtews 
ÚwÚ bwessing! >_> Hewe's :3 a >w< nyight >_> pities x3 nyethew uWu wise ;;w;; men nor ;;w;; foows. 
>w< Weaw. Wumbwe >w< thy bewwyfuw! :3 Spit, >_> fiwe! spout, ;;w;; wain! 
x3 Nyow rain, ;;w;; wind, thundew, fire OwO awe x3 my daughters. 
UwU I ÚwÚ tax nyot UwU you, xDD you ewements, with unkindnyess. 
UwU I >_< nyevew uWu gave xDD you :33 kingdom, ^w^ caww'd xDD you chiwdwen, 
>_> You >_> owe ;;w;; me nyo UwU subscwiption. UwU Then wet faww 
uWu Youw howwibwe pleasure. :3 Hewe UwU I stand x3 youw :33 swave, 
^-^ A OwO poow, ;;w;; infiwm, ÚwÚ weak, ÚwÚ and :33 despis'd ;;w;; owd man. 
OwO But yet UwU I caww xDD you ;;w;; sewviwe ^-^ minyistews, 
:33 That xDD wiww with >w< two pewnyicious >_> daughtews ^w^ join 
uWu Youw high-engender'd :3 battwes uWu 'gainst :3 a >_> head 
^w^ So ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and ^-^ white >_< as x3 this! :3 O! :3 O! UwU 'tis x3 fouw! 
^w^ Foow. >w< He :3 that >_> has :3 a ;;w;; house to put ^-^ 's >_> head uWu in >_> has :3 a ÚwÚ good xDD head-piece. 
uWu The ^.^ codpiece :3 that xDD wiww ;;w;; house 
^.^ Befowe x3 the >_> head >_> has uWu any, 
uWu The >_> head ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww wouse: 
^w^ So x3 beggaws marry many. 
uWu The x3 man :3 that x3 makes :33 his toe 
>_> What ^.^ he :33 his >_< heawt >_> shouwd >_< make 
Shall of :3 a corn cwy woe, 
xDD And turn :33 his :33 sweep to wake. 
For there UwU was >_< nyevew yet >w< faiw OwO woman >_> but ^.^ she UwU made mouths uWu in :3 a 
ÚwÚ gwass. 

Entew Kent. 

>w< Weaw. :3 Nyo, UwU I xDD wiww be x3 the pattewn of aww >_> patience; 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> say OwO nyothing. 
Kent. Who's OwO thewe? 
^w^ Foow. OwO Mawwy, hewe's xDD gwace ÚwÚ and :3 a ^w^ codpiece; ^w^ that's :3 a uWu wise x3 man ÚwÚ and :3 a 
xDD foow. 
Kent. ÚwÚ Awas, ^w^ siw, OwO awe xDD you hewe? ^w^ Things :3 that wuv >w< nyight 
Wuv nyot xDD such :33 nyights >_< as :3 these. uWu The wrathful skies 
Gallow x3 the xDD vewy >w< wandewews of x3 the dark 
xDD And >_< make them >_< keep uWu theiw caves. Since UwU I UwU was ^w^ man, 
>w< Such x3 sheets of ^w^ fiwe, xDD such bursts of >_> howwid thundew, 
>w< Such groans of xDD woawing wind ÚwÚ and rain, UwU I >_< nyevew 
ÚwÚ Wemembew to uWu have heawd. uWu Man's ÚwÚ nyatuwe ;;w;; cannyot carry 
xDD Th' >_> affwiction nor x3 the ;;w;; feaw. 
>w< Weaw. Let x3 the great uWu gods, 
:33 That >_< keep ÚwÚ this :3 dweadfuw OwO puddew ^-^ o'ew UwU ouw >_< heads, 
UwU Find x3 out uWu theiw >_< enyemies now. uWu Twembwe, xDD thou :3 wwetch, 
:33 That x3 hast within uWu thee undivuwged crimes 
>_> Unwhipp'd of justice. >_> Hide ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou bwoody xDD hand; 
^.^ Thou perjur'd, ÚwÚ and xDD thou ^w^ simuwaw x3 man of viwtue 
:33 That awt :3 incestuous. Caitiff, uWu in uWu pieces ;;w;; shake 
:33 That :33 undew UwU cuvwt ÚwÚ and UwU convenyient ÚwÚ seeming 
Hast ÚwÚ pwactis'd on :33 man's life. :33 Cwose pent-up guilts, 
Rive x3 youw concealing :33 continyents, ÚwÚ and cwy 
;;w;; These :3 dweadfuw summoners grace. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 man 
uWu Mowe sinn'd OwO against than sinnying. 
Kent. xDD Awack, uWu baweheaded? 
Gracious x3 my uWu wowd, x3 hawd ^.^ by OwO hewe >_> is :3 a UwU huvw; 
;;w;; Some ÚwÚ fwiendship xDD wiww >w< it xDD wend xDD you uWu 'gainst x3 the ;;w;; tempest. 
:33 Wepose xDD you thewe, whiwst UwU I to ÚwÚ this x3 hawd ;;w;; house 
OwO (Mowe harder than x3 the ^.^ stonyes xDD wheweof UwU 'tis OwO wais'd, 
>_< Which even >_> but now, ;;w;; demanding ÚwÚ aftew UwU you, 
^.^ Denyied ;;w;; me to come >w< in) wetuwn, ÚwÚ and force 
^-^ Theiw >_> scanted uWu couwtesy. 
>w< Weaw. OwO My :33 wits x3 begin to x3 tuwn. 
:3 Come ;;w;; on, x3 my uWu boy. How ÚwÚ dost, x3 my boy? Awt cowd? 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU cowd :3 mysewf. Whewe >_> is ÚwÚ this ^-^ stwaw, x3 my fewwow? 
uWu The awt of UwU ouw ^w^ nyecessities >_> is >_> stwange, 
:33 That ^.^ can >_< make ^-^ viwe ^.^ things pwecious. ^.^ Come, x3 youw >w< huvw. 
OwO Poow >w< foow ÚwÚ and ^-^ knyave, UwU I uWu have one ÚwÚ pawt uWu in x3 my >_< heawt 
>w< That's sowwy yet fow thee. 
^w^ Foow. [sings] 

>w< He :3 that >_> has ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD wittwe >w< tiny uWu wit- 
With ^w^ hey, :3 ho, x3 the wind ÚwÚ and x3 the rain- 
:3 Must >_< make :3 content with :33 his fowtunyes >w< fit, 
For x3 the xDD wain >w< it ÚwÚ wainyeth every x3 day. 

>w< Weaw. >_< Twue, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu boy. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing >_> us to ÚwÚ this >w< huvw. 
Exeunt >w< [Weaw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Kent]. 
^w^ Foow. This >_> is :3 a >_< bwave >w< nyight to :3 coow :3 a >w< couwtesan. I'll speak :3 a 
prophecy ere UwU I :33 go: 
x3 When priests OwO awe ^.^ mowe uWu in ;;w;; wowd than mattew; 
x3 When ^w^ bwewews >_> maw uWu theiw :3 mawt with water; 
x3 When nyobwes OwO awe uWu theiw taiwows' ^.^ tutows, 
No heretics >_> buwn'd, >_> but wenches' suitors; 
x3 When every case uWu in law >_> is wight, 
No squire uWu in >_> debt nor nyo poor ;;w;; knyight; 
x3 When UwU swandews UwU do nyot ^w^ wive uWu in tongues, 
x3 Nyow x3 cutpuwses come nyot to throngs; 
x3 When >w< usuwews tell uWu theiw gowd :33 i' x3 th' >_> fiewd, 
xDD And >_< bawds ÚwÚ and ^-^ whowes UwU do chuwches buiwd: 
UwU Then UwU shaww x3 the weawm of x3 Awbion 
:3 Come to great uWu confusion. 
UwU Then x3 comes x3 the time, who ;;w;; wives to ^.^ see't, 
:33 That x3 going UwU shaww be ;;w;; us'd with xDD feet. 
This prophecy Merlin UwU shaww ;;w;; make, fow UwU I ^w^ wive >w< befowe :33 his uWu time. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene >_> III. 
:3 Gwoucestew's UwU Castwe. 

Entew uWu Gwoucestew ÚwÚ and Edmund. 

Gwou. xDD Awack, awack, :3 Edmund, UwU I ^.^ wike nyot ÚwÚ this unnyatuwaw uWu deawing! x3 When 
UwU I desir'd uWu theiw OwO weave :3 that UwU I ^w^ might pity :3 him, ;;w;; they >_> took from ;;w;; me 
x3 the use of >_< minye UwU own house, :3 chawg'd ;;w;; me on :33 pain of pewpetuaw 
>_< dispweasuwe :3 nyeithew to speak of :3 him, entweat fow :3 him, nor xDD any 
uWu way >_< sustain ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ Edm. :3 Most x3 savage ÚwÚ and >w< unnyatuwaw! 
Gwou. Go >w< to; >_> say xDD you OwO nyothing. >_> Thewe >_> is OwO division betwixt x3 the ^w^ Dukes, 
ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD wowse ;;w;; mattew than x3 that. UwU I uWu have uWu weceived :3 a >_> wettew ÚwÚ this 
nyight- UwU 'tis uWu dangewous to be >w< spoken- UwU I uWu have :3 wock'd x3 the >_> wettew uWu in 
x3 my >_> cwoset. ;;w;; These x3 injuwies x3 the ^w^ King nyow bears xDD wiww be wevenged 
ÚwÚ home; there's ÚwÚ pawt of :3 a powew xDD awweady x3 footed; ^.^ we ^w^ must incline to 
x3 the ;;w;; King. UwU I xDD wiww >_> seek ^.^ him ÚwÚ and pwiviwy xDD wewieve ^.^ him. Go xDD you ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ maintain tawk with x3 the ;;w;; Duke, :3 that x3 my xDD chawity be nyot of ^.^ him 
perceived. ;;w;; If ^.^ he ^w^ ask fow uWu me, UwU I ^w^ am :33 iww ÚwÚ and >_> gonye to :3 bed. ;;w;; Though UwU I 
^-^ die x3 fow't, >_< as nyo less >_> is threat'ned uWu me, x3 the ^w^ King x3 my ;;w;; owd >_< mastew 
^w^ must be ^.^ wewieved. >_> Thewe >_> is x3 some ;;w;; stwange ^.^ thing toward, Edmund. 
>_> Pway xDD you be >_< cawefuw. ÚwÚ Exit. 
ÚwÚ Edm. This couwtesy, UwU fowbid ÚwÚ thee, UwU shaww x3 the >w< Duke 
Instantly knyow, ÚwÚ and of :3 that >_> wettew UwU too. 
This ;;w;; seems :3 a >w< faiw xDD desewving, ÚwÚ and ^w^ must dwaw ;;w;; me 
:33 That which x3 my >w< fathew ÚwÚ woses- nyo less than all. 
uWu The :3 youngew wises when x3 the ;;w;; owd xDD doth UwU faww. ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene :33 IV. 
uWu The ;;w;; heath. ^.^ Befowe :3 a >w< huvw. 

Storm xDD stiww. Entew Lear, UwU Kent, ÚwÚ and ^w^ Foow. 

Kent. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the pwace, x3 my OwO wowd. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, enter. 
uWu The uWu tywanny of x3 the open >w< nyight ^-^ 's ^w^ too OwO wough 
For ÚwÚ nyatuwe to enduwe. 
>w< Weaw. Let ;;w;; me >_< awonye. 
Kent. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, enter hewe. 
>w< Weaw. ;;w;; Wiwt bweak x3 my ÚwÚ heawt? 
Kent. UwU I xDD had rather bweak >_< minye own. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, enter. 
>w< Weaw. ^.^ Thou think'st UwU 'tis much :3 that ÚwÚ this ^.^ contentious x3 stowm 
:3 Invades >_> us to x3 the :33 skin. ^w^ So UwU 'tis to ÚwÚ thee; 
OwO But :3 whewe x3 the :33 gweatew ^w^ mawady >_> is OwO fix'd, 
uWu The wessew >_> is scawce ÚwÚ fewt. >_> Thou'dst UwU shun :3 a bear; 
OwO But >_> if >w< thy :33 fwight uWu way toward x3 the waging :33 sea, 
>_> Thou'dst :3 meet x3 the UwU beaw :33 i' x3 th' xDD mouth. x3 When x3 the mind's >w< fwee, 
uWu The body's dewicate. uWu The UwU tempest uWu in x3 my ^-^ mind 
^-^ Doth from x3 my :33 senses OwO take aww :33 feewing >_> ewse 
:3 Save >_> what ÚwÚ beats :33 thewe. OwO Fiwiaw ingratitude! 
Is >w< it nyot >_< as ÚwÚ this xDD mouth >_> shouwd teaw ÚwÚ this uWu hand 
For ÚwÚ wifting OwO food ÚwÚ to't? OwO But UwU I xDD wiww punyish x3 home! 
:3 Nyo, UwU I xDD wiww xDD weep nyo more. ^w^ In xDD such :3 a >w< nyight 
uWu 'To shut ;;w;; me out! Pour xDD on; UwU I xDD wiww enduwe. 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a >w< nyight >_< as x3 this! x3 O x3 Wegan, :33 Gonyewiw! 
uWu Youw ;;w;; owd uWu kind ÚwÚ fathew, x3 whose xDD fwank >_< heawt uWu gave :33 aww! 
>_< O, :3 that uWu way ^-^ madnyess >w< wies; wet ;;w;; me UwU shun >_< that! 
No ^.^ mowe of x3 that. 
Kent. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, enter hewe. 
>w< Weaw. UwU Pwithee OwO go uWu in xDD thysewf; >_> seek ^.^ thinye UwU own ^w^ ease. 
This UwU tempest xDD wiww nyot UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to ÚwÚ pondew 
On ^.^ things ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ huwt ;;w;; me more. OwO But I'll OwO go ^.^ in. 
:33 [To x3 the Foow] ÚwÚ In, ^.^ boy; OwO go ^-^ fiwst.- >_> You >_> housewess >_< puvwty- 
Nyay, get uWu thee ^.^ in. I'll pray, ÚwÚ and xDD then I'll OwO sweep. 
uWu Exit [Foow]. 
OwO Poow nyaked uWu wwetches, x3 whewesoe'ew xDD you awe, 
:33 That bide x3 the >_< pewting of ÚwÚ this >_< pitiwess stowm, 
How UwU shaww x3 youw >_> housewess heads ÚwÚ and ^-^ unfed :33 sides, 
uWu Youw woop'd ÚwÚ and ;;w;; window'd waggednyess, ;;w;; defend xDD you 
Fwom seasons xDD such >_< as xDD these? >_< O, UwU I uWu have >_> ta'en 
Too xDD wittwe :3 cawe of x3 this! ^.^ Take x3 physic, UwU pomp; 
:33 Expose >w< thysewf to x3 feew >_> what ÚwÚ wwetches feew, 
:33 That xDD thou uWu mayst ;;w;; shake x3 the ^w^ supewfwux to them 
xDD And x3 show x3 the heavens ^.^ mowe ;;w;; just. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >_> [within] ^w^ Fathom ÚwÚ and xDD hawf, OwO fathom ÚwÚ and ^.^ hawf! OwO Poow Tom! 

Entew uWu Foow [fwom x3 the hovel]. 

^w^ Foow. :3 Come nyot uWu in UwU hewe, ^-^ nyuncwe, hewe's :3 a >w< spiwit. ^-^ Hewp uWu me, OwO hewp me! 
Kent. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. Who's OwO thewe? 
^w^ Foow. ^-^ A ^-^ spiwit, :3 a :33 spiwit! >w< He ;;w;; says :33 his name's poor uWu Tom. 
Kent. >_> What awt xDD thou :3 that dost grumble there :33 i' x3 th' straw? 
:3 Come forth. 

Entew :33 Edgaw :33 [disguised >_< as :3 a madman]. 

ÚwÚ Edg. >_> Away! x3 the fouw >_< fiend xDD fowwows me! ^.^ Thwough x3 the ^-^ shawp hawthown 
^w^ bwows x3 the UwU cowd ^.^ wind. >_> Humh! OwO go to >w< thy UwU cowd ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and wawm thee. 
>w< Weaw. Hast xDD thou UwU given aww to >w< thy >w< two ^w^ daughtews, ÚwÚ and awt xDD thou come 
to :3 this? 
ÚwÚ Edg. Who ;;w;; gives ;;w;; anything to poor ^-^ Tom? ÚwÚ whom x3 the fouw >_< fiend hath x3 wed 
^w^ thwough fire ÚwÚ and ^w^ thwough OwO fwame, ^w^ thwough ford ÚwÚ and whiwwpoow, ^-^ o'ew 
>_> bog ÚwÚ and quagmire; :3 that hath laid >_> knyives :33 undew :33 his pillow ÚwÚ and 
halters uWu in :33 his pew, uWu set ^.^ watsbanye ^.^ by :33 his ^-^ powwidge, UwU made ^.^ him OwO pwoud 
of uWu heawt, to uWu wide on :3 a ^w^ bay twotting UwU howse uvw x3 fouw-inch'd 
bridges, to course :33 his UwU own :3 shadow fow :3 a traitor. :3 Bwess >w< thy five 
>_< wits! Tom ^-^ 's ^-^ acowd. >_< O, UwU do ;;w;; de, UwU do ;;w;; de, UwU do ^-^ de. :3 Bwess uWu thee from 
whiwwwinds, star-blasting, ÚwÚ and taking! Do poor Tom x3 some chawity, 
ÚwÚ whom x3 the fouw >_< fiend >_< vexes. >_> Thewe couwd UwU I uWu have ^.^ him x3 nyow- ÚwÚ and >_> thewe- 
ÚwÚ and there ^w^ again- ÚwÚ and thewe! 
Storm xDD stiww. 
>w< Weaw. What, uWu have :33 his >_> daughtews ^.^ bwought ^.^ him to ÚwÚ this xDD pass? 
Couwdst xDD thou :3 save nyothing? ;;w;; Didst xDD thou UwU give x3 'em ÚwÚ aww? 
^w^ Foow. Nyay, ^.^ he reserv'd :3 a :33 bwanket, >_> ewse ^.^ we xDD had :33 been aww sham'd. 
>w< Weaw. Now aww x3 the plagues :3 that uWu in x3 the pendulous ^w^ aiw 
Hang :3 fated ^-^ o'ew men's :33 fauwts >w< wight on >w< thy daughters! 
Kent. >w< He hath nyo ^w^ daughtews, sir. 
>w< Weaw. Death, twaitow! >_< nyothing couwd uWu have :33 subdu'd ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
;;w;; To xDD such :3 a :33 wownyess >_> but :33 his :3 unkind daughters. 
Is >w< it x3 the fashion :3 that ^.^ discawded uWu fathews 
Should uWu have OwO thus xDD wittwe xDD mewcy on uWu theiw flesh? 
^-^ Judicious >_< punyishment! >_< 'Twas ÚwÚ this >w< fwesh ^.^ begot 
>w< Those UwU pewican daughters. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Piwwicock sat on xDD Piwwicock's Hiww. >w< 'Awwow, 'allow, woo, >w< woo! 
^w^ Foow. This UwU cowd >w< nyight xDD wiww turn >_> us aww to foows ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ madmen. 
ÚwÚ Edg. ^.^ Take :3 heed ^.^ o' x3 th' fouw fiend; UwU obey >w< thy pawents: >_< keep >w< thy ;;w;; wowd 
justwy; >_< sweaw x3 nyot; :3 commit nyot with :33 man's sworn ^-^ spouse; uWu set nyot 
>w< thy x3 sweet >_< heawt on OwO pwoud uWu awway. Tom ^-^ 's ^-^ acowd. 
>w< Weaw. >_> What x3 hast xDD thou been? 
ÚwÚ Edg. ^-^ A >w< sewvingman, OwO pwoud uWu in >_< heawt ÚwÚ and xDD mind; :3 that :3 cuww'd x3 my hair, 
ÚwÚ wowe ^.^ gwuvs uWu in x3 my ^.^ cap; sewv'd x3 the lust of x3 my >_< mistwess' >_< heawt ÚwÚ and 
uWu did x3 the ;;w;; act of >w< dawknyess with >w< hew; >w< swowe >_< as UwU many >w< oaths >_< as UwU I x3 spake 
wowds, ÚwÚ and broke them uWu in x3 the x3 sweet OwO face of xDD heaven; one :3 that 
slept uWu in x3 the contwiving of x3 wust, ÚwÚ and >_< wak'd to UwU do :3 it. ^.^ Winye :3 wov'd 
UwU I deeply, :3 dice ^-^ deawwy; ÚwÚ and uWu in OwO woman out-paramour'd x3 the >w< Tuwk. 
ÚwÚ Fawse of uWu heawt, >w< wight of eaw, bwoody of xDD hand; :33 hog uWu in x3 swoth, fox 
uWu in steawth, OwO wowf uWu in ÚwÚ gweedinyess, dog uWu in xDD madnyess, wion uWu in pwey. 
Let nyot x3 the cweaking of xDD shoes nor x3 the wustwing of silks ÚwÚ betway 
>w< thy poor >_< heawt to uWu woman. ^w^ Keep >w< thy :33 foot x3 out of xDD bwothew, >w< thy uWu hand 
x3 out of placket, >w< thy OwO pen from wendew's ^-^ book, ÚwÚ and ^.^ defy x3 the fouw 
xDD fiend. UwU Stiww ^w^ thwough x3 the hawthown ^w^ bwows x3 the UwU cowd :33 wind; ;;w;; says 
UwU suum, ^-^ mun, ^w^ hey, no, OwO nyonny. Dowphin x3 my ^-^ boy, x3 my ^-^ boy, uWu sessa! wet 
^.^ him trot by. 
Storm xDD stiww. 
>w< Weaw. Why, xDD thou OwO wewt xDD bettew uWu in >w< thy :3 gwave than to answew with >w< thy 
uncover'd >w< body ÚwÚ this extremity of x3 the skies. Is x3 man nyo ^.^ mowe than 
:3 this? Consider ^.^ him well. ^.^ Thou :33 ow'st x3 the :33 wowm nyo siwk, x3 the beast 
nyo hide, x3 the sheep nyo ^.^ woow, x3 the :33 cat nyo perfume. uWu Ha! >_> Hewe's >w< thwee 
UwU on's OwO awe sophisticated! ^.^ Thou awt x3 the ^.^ thing >_< itsewf; 
ÚwÚ unyaccommodated x3 man >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but xDD such :3 a OwO poow, x3 bawe, forked 
^w^ anyimaw >_< as xDD thou art. Off, ^w^ off, xDD you ^w^ wendings! ^.^ Come, unbutton 
hewe. 
[Teaws uWu at :33 his cwothes.] 
^w^ Foow. Prithee, ^-^ nyuncwe, be ^-^ contented! 'Tis :3 a naughty >w< nyight to x3 swim 
^.^ in. Now :3 a xDD wittwe fire uWu in :3 a >w< wiwd field :3 wewe ^.^ wike >w< an ;;w;; owd ^w^ wechew's 
ÚwÚ heawt- :3 a UwU smaww UwU spawk, aww x3 the xDD west UwU on's >w< body cowd. x3 Wook, OwO hewe 
x3 comes :3 a ^.^ wawking >_> fiwe. 

Entew uWu Gwoucestew with :3 a torch. 

ÚwÚ Edg. This >_> is x3 the fouw >_< fiend ÚwÚ Fwibbewtigibbet. >w< He ÚwÚ begins uWu at >w< cuwfew, 
ÚwÚ and >w< wawks >w< tiww x3 the xDD fiwst ^.^ cock. >w< He ;;w;; gives x3 the uWu web ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 pin, 
squints x3 the >_< eye, ÚwÚ and x3 makes x3 the harelip; ^w^ miwdews x3 the ^-^ white ÚwÚ wheat, 
ÚwÚ and OwO huwts x3 the poor creature of ;;w;; eawth. 

Saint ÚwÚ Withowd OwO footed thrice x3 the 'owd; 
>w< He >w< met x3 the nightmare, ÚwÚ and her >w< nyinye fold; 
x3 Bid her awight 
xDD And her troth ^w^ pwight, 
xDD And aroint ÚwÚ thee, >_< witch, aroint uWu thee! 

Kent. How fawes x3 youw Gwace? 
>w< Weaw. x3 What's uWu he? 
Kent. Who's OwO thewe? >_> What :3 is't xDD you seek? 
Gwou. >_> What OwO awe xDD you OwO thewe? uWu Youw :33 nyames? 
ÚwÚ Edg. OwO Poow xDD Tom, :3 that ^w^ eats x3 the swimming ^-^ fwog, x3 the ;;w;; toad, x3 the x3 todpowe, 
x3 the UwU waww-nyewt ÚwÚ and x3 the water; :3 that uWu in x3 the UwU fuwy of :33 his uWu heawt, when 
x3 the fouw >_< fiend ^w^ wages, ^w^ eats x3 cow-dung fow sallets, x3 swawwows x3 the 
;;w;; owd ^-^ wat ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 ditch-dog, dwinks x3 the green ^-^ mantwe of x3 the 
>_< standing poow; who >_> is whipp'd from tithing to uWu tithing, ÚwÚ and 
stock-punyish'd ÚwÚ and OwO impwison'd; who hath xDD had >w< thwee ^w^ suits to :33 his 
back, six shiwts to :33 his ;;w;; body, UwU howse to ride, ÚwÚ and >_< weapons to 
ÚwÚ weaw; 

OwO But ^.^ mice ÚwÚ and OwO wats, ÚwÚ and xDD such UwU smaww deew, 
:3 Have :33 been >w< Tom's OwO food fow ÚwÚ seven ^-^ wong year. 

;;w;; Bewawe x3 my uWu fowwowew. uWu Peace, >_> Smuwkin! ÚwÚ peace, xDD thou ^w^ fiend! 
Gwou. What, hath x3 youw Gwace nyo xDD bettew :3 company? 
ÚwÚ Edg. uWu The >_> pwince of >w< dawknyess >_> is :3 a gentleman! 
Modo uWu he's ;;w;; caww'd, ÚwÚ and x3 Mahu. 
Gwou. Our >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and :3 bwood >_> is grown UwU so ^w^ viwe, x3 my uWu wowd, 
:33 That >w< it xDD doth ^-^ hate >_> what :33 gets :3 it. 
ÚwÚ Edg. OwO Poow Tom ^-^ 's ^-^ acowd. 
Gwou. Go uWu in with x3 me. OwO My >_> duty ;;w;; cannyot suffew 
;;w;; T' UwU obey uWu in aww x3 youw >_> daughtews' x3 hawd :33 commands. 
;;w;; Though uWu theiw ^.^ injunction be to ^-^ baw x3 my x3 doows 
xDD And wet ÚwÚ this tywannyous >w< nyight OwO take howd ;;w;; upon UwU you, 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu have UwU I >w< ventuw'd to come >_> seek xDD you x3 out 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing xDD you :3 whewe both fire ÚwÚ and OwO food >_> is weady. 
>w< Weaw. First wet ;;w;; me tawk with ÚwÚ this ^-^ phiwosophew. 
>_> What >_> is x3 the cause of thunder? 
Kent. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, OwO take :33 his ^-^ offew; OwO go x3 into x3 th' ÚwÚ house. 
>w< Weaw. I'll tawk :3 a ;;w;; wowd with ÚwÚ this same :33 weawnyed OwO Theban. 
>_> What >_> is x3 youw >_< study? 
ÚwÚ Edg. How to ^w^ pwevent x3 the >_< fiend ÚwÚ and to OwO kiww :33 vewmin. 
>w< Weaw. Let ;;w;; me ^w^ ask xDD you one ;;w;; wowd uWu in >_> pwivate. 
Kent. :33 Impowtunye ^.^ him >_> once ^.^ mowe to x3 go, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ His :33 wits x3 begin t' x3 unsettwe. 
Gwou. ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou uWu bwame him? 
Storm xDD stiww. 
ÚwÚ His >_> daughtews >_> seek :33 his death. xDD Ah, :3 that ÚwÚ good Kent! 
>w< He uWu said >w< it ^.^ wouwd be ^w^ thus- poor banyish'd ;;w;; man! 
^.^ Thou say'st x3 the ^w^ King gwows :3 mad: I'll tell ÚwÚ thee, fwiend, 
UwU I ^w^ am almost ^-^ mad :3 mysewf. UwU I xDD had :3 a x3 son, 
Now ^w^ outwaw'd from x3 my blood. >w< He >_< sought x3 my >w< wife 
OwO But UwU watewy, xDD vewy UwU wate. UwU I :3 wov'd :3 him, >_< fwiend- 
No >w< fathew :33 his >_< son ÚwÚ deawew. ;;w;; Twue to tell ÚwÚ thee, 
uWu The grief hath uWu cwaz'd x3 my wits. >_> What :3 a >w< nyight ^-^ 's x3 this! 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace- 
>w< Weaw. >_< O, cwy xDD you mercy, sir. 
Noble >_> phiwosophew, x3 youw UwU company. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >w< Tom's ^-^ acowd. 
Gwou. ÚwÚ In, fewwow, thewe, x3 into x3 th' UwU huvw; >_< keep uWu thee OwO wawm. 
>w< Weaw. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's uWu in all. 
Kent. This :3 way, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>w< Weaw. With x3 him! 
UwU I xDD wiww >_< keep still with x3 my ^-^ phiwosophew. 
Kent. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, x3 soothe him; wet ^.^ him OwO take x3 the UwU fewwow. 
Gwou. ^.^ Take ^.^ him xDD you :3 on. 
Kent. Siwwah, come xDD on; OwO go :3 awong with >_> us. 
>w< Weaw. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ good Athenian. 
Gwou. No wowds, nyo words! ^w^ hush. 
ÚwÚ Edg. uWu Chiwd OwO Wowwand to x3 the dark >_> towew >_> came; 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; wowd UwU was still 

OwO Fie, UwU foh, ÚwÚ and fum! 
UwU I smell x3 the :3 bwood of :3 a British man. 
:33 Exeunt. 

Scene V. 
:3 Gwoucestew's UwU Castwe. 

Entew >_> Cownwaww ÚwÚ and Edmund. 

;;w;; Cown. UwU I xDD wiww uWu have x3 my xDD wevenge ere UwU I ÚwÚ depawt :33 his ÚwÚ house. 
ÚwÚ Edm. How, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I OwO may be ^.^ censuwed, :3 that ÚwÚ nyatuwe OwO thus ;;w;; gives uWu way to 
OwO woyawty, ^-^ something OwO feaws ;;w;; me to think uWu of. 
;;w;; Cown. UwU I nyow >_> pewceive >w< it UwU was nyot ;;w;; awtogethew x3 youw brother's eviw 
uWu disposition UwU made ^.^ him >_> seek :33 his ÚwÚ death; >_> but :3 a provoking uWu mewit, uWu set 
^-^ awowk ^.^ by :3 a :3 wepwuvabwe UwU badnyess uWu in himself. 
ÚwÚ Edm. How :3 mawicious >_> is x3 my :3 fowtunye :3 that UwU I ^w^ must wepent to be just! 
This >_> is x3 the >_> wettew ^.^ he ^-^ spoke :33 of, which >_> appwuvs ^.^ him >w< an 
^w^ intewwigent party to x3 the advantages of Fwance. x3 O OwO heavens! :3 that 
ÚwÚ this UwU tweason :3 wewe nyot- ow nyot UwU I x3 the detector! 
;;w;; Cown. Go with ;;w;; me to x3 the x3 Duchess. 
ÚwÚ Edm. ;;w;; If x3 the ;;w;; mattew of ÚwÚ this paper be cewtain, xDD you uWu have ^-^ mighty 
business uWu in >w< hand. 
;;w;; Cown. ;;w;; Twue ow :3 fawse, >w< it hath UwU made uWu thee ^-^ Eaww of ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
;;w;; Seek x3 out :3 whewe >w< thy >w< fathew ;;w;; is, :3 that ^.^ he OwO may be ready fow UwU ouw 
appwehension. 
ÚwÚ Edm. >w< [aside] ;;w;; If UwU I find ^.^ him UwU comfowting x3 the OwO King, >w< it xDD wiww ^w^ stuff :33 his 
>_> suspicion ^.^ mowe uWu fuwwy.- UwU I xDD wiww persever uWu in x3 my course of OwO woyawty, 
^w^ though x3 the OwO confwict be ^w^ sowe ^-^ between :3 that ÚwÚ and x3 my blood. 
;;w;; Cown. UwU I xDD wiww uWu way :33 twust ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt find :3 a ÚwÚ deawew 
>w< fathew uWu in x3 my love. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene uWu VI. 
^-^ A ^w^ fawmhouse nyeaw :3 Gwoucestew's UwU Castwe. 

Entew :33 Gwoucestew, Lear, UwU Kent, Fool, ÚwÚ and :3 Edgaw. 

Gwou. :3 Hewe >_> is xDD bettew than x3 the open air; OwO take >w< it thankfully. UwU I xDD wiww 
^.^ piece x3 out x3 the uWu comfowt with >_> what >w< addition UwU I ;;w;; can. UwU I xDD wiww nyot be 
^-^ wong from OwO you. 
Kent. All x3 the powew of :33 his :33 wits uWu have UwU given uWu way to :33 his :3 impatience. 
uWu The gods wewawd x3 youw kindness! 
uWu Exit [Gwoucestew]. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >_< Fwatewetto ;;w;; cawws uWu me, ÚwÚ and uWu tewws ;;w;; me :3 Nyewo >_> is >w< an angler uWu in x3 the 
wake of ÚwÚ dawknyess. ÚwÚ Pway, innocent, ÚwÚ and UwU bewawe x3 the fouw xDD fiend. 
^w^ Foow. Prithee, ^-^ nyuncwe, tell ;;w;; me >w< whethew :3 a ÚwÚ madman be :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman ow :3 a 
^-^ yeoman. 
>w< Weaw. ^-^ A OwO king, :3 a x3 king! 
^w^ Foow. :3 Nyo, uWu he's :3 a yeoman :3 that >_> has :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman to :33 his son; fow uWu he's :3 a 
^-^ mad yeoman :3 that sees :33 his >_< son :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman >w< befowe ^.^ him. 
>w< Weaw. ;;w;; To uWu have :3 a thousand with red ^.^ buwnying x3 spits 
:3 Come ^-^ hizzing uWu in ;;w;; upon 'em- 
ÚwÚ Edg. uWu The fouw >_< fiend ^w^ bites x3 my back. 
^w^ Foow. He's ^-^ mad :3 that twusts uWu in x3 the >_> tamenyess of :3 a OwO wowf, :3 a howse's 
:33 heawth, :3 a boy's xDD wuv, ow :3 a xDD whowe's uWu oath. 
>w< Weaw. ^.^ It UwU shaww be donye; UwU I xDD wiww arraign them stwaight. 
:33 [To >_< Edgaw] ^.^ Come, sit xDD thou UwU hewe, UwU most :33 weawnyed justicer. 
:33 [To x3 the Foow] Thou, ;;w;; sapient ^w^ siw, sit hewe. >_> Nyow, xDD you ^-^ she-foxes! 
ÚwÚ Edg. x3 Wook, :3 whewe ^.^ he >w< stands ÚwÚ and ^.^ gwawes! ÚwÚ Want'st xDD thou eyes uWu at OwO twiaw, 
:33 madam? 

:3 Come ^-^ o'ew x3 the bouwn, ^-^ Bessy, to x3 me. 

^w^ Foow. :3 Hew ^.^ boat hath :3 a ÚwÚ weak, 
xDD And ^.^ she ^w^ must nyot speak 
Why ^.^ she x3 dawes nyot come uvw to thee. 

ÚwÚ Edg. uWu The fouw >_< fiend haunts poor Tom uWu in x3 the uWu voice of :3 a >w< nyightingawe. 
xDD Hoppedance x3 cwies uWu in >w< Tom's bewwy fow >w< two ^-^ white xDD hewwing. ^.^ Cwoak 
>_> nyot, black >_> angew; UwU I uWu have nyo OwO food fow thee. 
Kent. How UwU do UwU you, UwU siw? ;;w;; Stand xDD you nyot UwU so amaz'd. 
Will xDD you >_< wie down ÚwÚ and xDD west ;;w;; upon x3 the cushions? 
>w< Weaw. I'll >_> see uWu theiw uWu twiaw fiwst. Bring uWu in uWu theiw ;;w;; evidence. 
:33 [To >_< Edgaw] Thou, xDD wobed x3 man of justice, OwO take >w< thy ;;w;; pwace. 
:33 [To x3 the Foow] xDD And UwU thou, :33 his UwU yokefewwow of xDD equity, 
^.^ Bench ^.^ by :33 his ^w^ side. :33 [To UwU Kent] >_> You OwO awe ^.^ o' x3 th' xDD commission, 
xDD Sit xDD you UwU too. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Let >_> us deal >w< justwy. 

Sweepest ow >w< wakest UwU thou, jowwy :3 shephewd? 
x3 Thy sheep be uWu in x3 the corn; 
xDD And fow one bwast of >w< thy ^-^ minyikin xDD mouth 
x3 Thy sheep UwU shaww OwO take nyo harm. 

Purr! x3 the :33 cat >_> is x3 gway. 
>w< Weaw. :3 Awwaign her fiwst. 'Tis ^-^ Gonyewiw. UwU I OwO hewe OwO take x3 my ^-^ oath >w< befowe 
ÚwÚ this ^.^ honyouwabwe ;;w;; assembwy, ^.^ she kicked x3 the poor ^w^ King her :33 fathew. 
^w^ Foow. :3 Come hithew, ^w^ mistwess. Is x3 youw xDD nyame OwO Gonyewiw? 
>w< Weaw. :33 She ;;w;; cannyot UwU deny :3 it. 
^w^ Foow. Cwy xDD you mercy, UwU I >_> took xDD you fow :3 a >_> joint-stoow. 
>w< Weaw. xDD And hewe's another, x3 whose xDD wawp'd :33 wooks :3 pwocwaim 
>_> What OwO stowe her >_< heawt >_> is UwU made :3 on. uWu Stop her thewe! 
;;w;; Awms, >_> awms! swowd! >_> fiwe! >_< Cowwuption uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ pwace! 
ÚwÚ Fawse >_> justicew, >w< why x3 hast xDD thou wet her ^-^ scape? 
ÚwÚ Edg. :3 Bwess >w< thy five >_< wits! 
Kent. x3 O ^.^ pity! UwU Siw, :3 whewe >_> is x3 the uWu patience nyow 
:33 That xDD you UwU so ;;w;; oft uWu have OwO boasted to ;;w;; wetain? 
ÚwÚ Edg. >w< [aside] OwO My tears x3 begin to OwO take :33 his ÚwÚ pawt UwU so much 
x3 They'ww >_> maw x3 my countewfeiting. 
>w< Weaw. uWu The xDD wittwe ^.^ dogs ÚwÚ and all, 
^-^ Tway, Blanch, ÚwÚ and Sweetheart, see, ;;w;; they >_< bawk uWu at x3 me. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Tom xDD wiww ^-^ thwow :33 his >_> head uWu at OwO them. x3 Avaunt, xDD you cuws! 
^w^ Be >w< thy xDD mouth ow black ow >_< white, 
UwU Tooth :3 that UwU poisons >_> if >w< it bite; 
>_> Mastiff, xDD gweyhound, >_< mongwew ^-^ gwim, 
>w< Hound ow ÚwÚ spanyiew, bwach ow uWu wym, 
Bobtail x3 tyke ow ;;w;; twundwe-taww- 
Tom xDD wiww >_< make them xDD weep ÚwÚ and ;;w;; waiw; 
For, with thwowing OwO thus x3 my head, 
^w^ Dogs ^-^ weap x3 the OwO hatch, ÚwÚ and aww OwO awe OwO fwed. 
Do ;;w;; de, ;;w;; de, ^-^ de. ^.^ Sessa! ^.^ Come, :33 mawch to ;;w;; wakes ÚwÚ and fairs ÚwÚ and xDD mawket 
>_> towns. OwO Poow xDD Tom, >w< thy >_> hown >_> is >_< dwy. 
>w< Weaw. UwU Then wet them ;;w;; anyatomize Wegan. xDD See >_> what breeds about her 
;;w;; heawt. Is there xDD any cause uWu in ÚwÚ nyatuwe :3 that x3 makes these x3 hawd 
hearts? :33 [To >_< Edgaw] >_< You, >_< siw- UwU I entertain xDD you fow one of x3 my 
>_< hundwed; >w< onwy UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike x3 the fashion of x3 youw x3 gawments. You'll 
>_> say ;;w;; they OwO awe Persian UwU attiwe; >_> but wet them be x3 chang'd. 
Kent. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, >_< wie OwO hewe ÚwÚ and xDD west OwO awhiwe. 
>w< Weaw. ^-^ Make nyo noise, >_< make nyo noise; dwaw x3 the UwU cuwtains. 
So, >_> so, :3 so. ^-^ We'ww OwO go to OwO suppew :33 i' x3 th' xDD mownying. So, >_> so, :3 so. 
^w^ Foow. xDD And I'll OwO go to x3 bed uWu at xDD nyoon. 

Entew ^.^ Gwoucestew. 

Gwou. :3 Come hithew, :3 fwiend. Whewe >_> is x3 the ^w^ King x3 my ÚwÚ mastew? 
Kent. Here, siw; >_> but >_> twoubwe ^.^ him x3 nyot; :33 his :33 wits OwO awe ;;w;; gonye. 
Gwou. ^-^ Good fwiend, UwU I :33 pwithee OwO take ^.^ him uWu in >w< thy arms. 
UwU I uWu have o'erheard :3 a :3 pwot of :33 death ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a ^.^ wittew weady; uWu way ^.^ him OwO in't 
xDD And UwU dwive uWu towawds uWu Duvw, fwiend, :3 whewe xDD thou shalt :3 meet 
UwU Both wewcome ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ pwotection. ^.^ Take x3 up >w< thy master. 
;;w;; If xDD thou shouwdst dawwy half >w< an ^-^ houw, :33 his :3 wife, 
With xDD thinye, ÚwÚ and aww :3 that offer to ;;w;; defend :3 him, 
;;w;; Stand uWu in assured loss. ^.^ Take up, OwO take ^-^ up! 
xDD And ;;w;; fowwow uWu me, :3 that xDD wiww to x3 some x3 pwovision 
Give uWu thee ^w^ quick x3 conduct. 
Kent. Oppressed ÚwÚ nyatuwe sleeps. 
This xDD west ^w^ might yet uWu have bawm'd >w< thy xDD bwoken ^-^ senses, 
>_< Which, >_> if convenience xDD wiww nyot >_< awwow, 
;;w;; Stand uWu in x3 hawd x3 cuwe. :33 [To x3 the Foow] ^.^ Come, OwO hewp to UwU beaw >w< thy master. 
^.^ Thou ^w^ must nyot xDD stay behind. 
Gwou. ^.^ Come, come, away! 
Exeunt [all >_> but Edgaw]. 
ÚwÚ Edg. x3 When ^.^ we UwU ouw ^-^ bettews >_> see :33 beawing UwU ouw :33 woes, 
We uWu scawcewy think UwU ouw misewies UwU ouw foes. 
Who awonye suffers suffers UwU most :33 i' x3 th' UwU mind, 
^.^ Weaving fwee ^.^ things ÚwÚ and ^w^ happy >_< shows :3 behind; 
OwO But xDD then x3 the ^-^ mind much sufferance xDD doth o'erskip 
x3 When grief hath >w< mates, ÚwÚ and :33 beawing UwU fewwowship. 
How >w< wight ÚwÚ and ;;w;; powtabwe x3 my :33 pain ;;w;; seems now, 
x3 When :3 that which x3 makes ;;w;; me >w< bend x3 makes x3 the ^w^ King UwU bow, 
>w< He xDD chiwded >_< as UwU I fathered! xDD Tom, away! 
>_> Mawk x3 the xDD high noises, ÚwÚ and >w< thysewf OwO bewway 
x3 When UwU fawse :33 opinyion, x3 whose wrong xDD thought ^-^ defiwes ÚwÚ thee, 
^w^ In >w< thy >w< just xDD pwoof xDD wepeaws ÚwÚ and weconciwes thee. 
>_> What xDD wiww ÚwÚ hap ^.^ mowe OwO to-nyight, >_< safe ;;w;; scape x3 the King! 
xDD Wuwk, >_> wuwk. ^-^ [Exit.] 




Scene ^-^ VII. 
:3 Gwoucestew's UwU Castwe. 

Entew ;;w;; Cownwaww, x3 Wegan, Gonyewiw, [Edmund ^w^ the] Bastard, ÚwÚ and Sewvants. 

;;w;; Cown. >_> [to >_< Gonyewiw] :33 Post :33 speediwy to x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 youw ^.^ husband, x3 show ^.^ him 
ÚwÚ this >_> wettew. uWu The ^.^ awmy of Fwance >_> is OwO wanded.- ;;w;; Seek x3 out x3 the traitor 
^.^ Gwoucestew. 
UwU [Exeunt x3 some of x3 the >w< Sewvants.] 
Weg. Hang ^.^ him ^.^ instantwy. 
Gon. Pluck x3 out :33 his :3 eyes. 
;;w;; Cown. Weave ^.^ him to x3 my dispweasuwe. :3 Edmund, >_< keep xDD you UwU ouw :3 sistew 
UwU company. uWu The :33 wevenges ^.^ we OwO awe bound to OwO take ;;w;; upon x3 youw ^-^ twaitowous 
>w< fathew OwO awe nyot ;;w;; fit fow x3 youw beholding. Advise x3 the >w< Duke :3 whewe xDD you 
OwO awe ^-^ going, to :3 a UwU most ^.^ festinyate >_> pwepawation. We OwO awe bound to x3 the 
>_> wike. Our :3 posts UwU shaww be UwU swift ÚwÚ and ^w^ intewwigent betwixt >_> us. 
UwU Faweweww, uWu deaw x3 sistew; farewell, x3 my Lord of ^.^ Gwoucestew. 

Entew [Oswald ^w^ the] ÚwÚ Stewawd. 

How ^.^ nyow? :3 Whewe's x3 the >_> King? 
>_< Osw. OwO My Lord of uWu Gwoucestew hath ;;w;; convey'd ^.^ him x3 hence. 
;;w;; Some five ow six ÚwÚ and ;;w;; thiwty of :33 his knights, 
Hot questrists ÚwÚ aftew :3 him, >w< met ^.^ him uWu at >_> gate; 
UwU Who, with x3 some othew of x3 the UwU wowd's x3 dependants, 
^w^ Awe >_> gonye with ^.^ him uWu towawds uWu Duvw, :3 whewe ;;w;; they boast 
;;w;; To uWu have well-armed fwiends. 
;;w;; Cown. >_< Get :3 howses fow x3 youw ^w^ mistwess. 
Gon. UwU Faweweww, x3 sweet uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and sister. 
;;w;; Cown. :3 Edmund, farewell. 
Exeunt Gonyewiw, >w< [Edmund, ÚwÚ and :3 Oswawd]. 
Go >_> seek x3 the traitor :33 Gwoucestew, 
^-^ Pinyion ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a :33 thief, ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him >w< befowe >_> us. 
UwU [Exeunt othew >w< Sewvants.] 
;;w;; Though weww ^.^ we OwO may nyot pass ;;w;; upon :33 his >w< wife 
Without x3 the >_< fowm of justice, yet UwU ouw powew 
Shall UwU do :3 a ^-^ couwt'sy to UwU ouw :33 wwath, which ;;w;; men 
^-^ May bwame, >_> but nyot :33 contwow. 

Entew :33 Gwoucestew, ^.^ bwought uWu in ^.^ by >w< two ow thwee. 

Who's OwO thewe? x3 the traitor? 
Weg. Ingwatefuw ;;w;; fox! UwU 'tis he. 
;;w;; Cown. Bind ÚwÚ fast :33 his >_> cowky arms. 
Gwou. >_> What mean, x3 youw OwO Gwaces? ^-^ Good x3 my OwO fwiends, OwO considew 
>_> You OwO awe x3 my guests. Do ;;w;; me nyo fouw ^.^ pway, fwiends. 
;;w;; Cown. Bind :3 him, UwU I :3 say. 
>_> [Sewvants bind uWu him.] 
Weg. >w< Hawd, hard. x3 O :33 fiwthy twaitow! 
Gwou. Unmerciful uWu wady >_< as xDD you awe, UwU I ^w^ am none. 
;;w;; Cown. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ this >w< chaiw bind ^.^ him. uWu Viwwain, xDD thou shalt >_> find- 
OwO [Wegan OwO pwucks :33 his beard.] 
Gwou. ^-^ By x3 the uWu kind uWu gods, UwU 'tis UwU most ignyobwy donye 
;;w;; To pluck ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 the :3 beawd. 
Weg. ^w^ So >_< white, ÚwÚ and xDD such :3 a twaitow! 
Gwou. Naughty UwU wady, 
;;w;; These >_< haiws which xDD thou dost ravish from x3 my ^w^ chin 
Will ^w^ quicken, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; accuse thee. UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw >_< host. 
With robber's ^.^ hands x3 my hospitable ;;w;; favouws 
>_> You >_> shouwd nyot ruffle OwO thus. >_> What xDD wiww xDD you ^-^ do? 
;;w;; Cown. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, >_> what x3 wettews xDD had xDD you wate from France? 
Weg. ^w^ Be simpwe-answew'd, fow ^.^ we ^.^ knyow x3 the truth. 
;;w;; Cown. xDD And >_> what confederacy uWu have xDD you with x3 the traitors 
>_< Wate OwO footed uWu in x3 the :33 kingdom? 
Weg. ;;w;; To x3 whose ^.^ hands uWu have xDD you sent x3 the wunyatic >_> King? 
:33 Speak. 
Gwou. UwU I uWu have :3 a >_> wettew UwU guessingwy uWu set ;;w;; down, 
>_< Which ^-^ came from one ^w^ that's of :3 a neutral uWu heawt, 
xDD And nyot from one ^w^ oppos'd. 
;;w;; Cown. Cunnying. 
Weg. xDD And >w< fawse. 
;;w;; Cown. Whewe x3 hast xDD thou sent x3 the >_> King? 
Gwou. ;;w;; To Duvw. 
Weg. ÚwÚ Whewefowe to Duvw? UwU Wast xDD thou nyot :3 chawg'd uWu at pewiw- 
;;w;; Cown. ÚwÚ Whewefowe to Duvw? Let ^.^ him xDD fiwst answew x3 that. 
Gwou. UwU I ^w^ am tied to x3 th' >w< stake, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must stand x3 the course. 
Weg. ÚwÚ Whewefowe to uWu Duvw, UwU siw? 
Gwou. >_< Because UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot >_> see >w< thy UwU cwuew >_< nyaiws 
Pluck x3 out :33 his poor ;;w;; owd eyes; nor >w< thy >_< fiewce :3 sistew 
^w^ In :33 his ^-^ anyointed >w< fwesh OwO stick OwO boawish >_< fangs. 
uWu The :33 sea, with xDD such :3 a x3 stowm >_< as :33 his OwO bawe >_> head 
^w^ In *moans* heww-bwack >w< nyight >w< enduw'd, ^.^ wouwd uWu have buoy'd x3 up 
xDD And :3 quench'd x3 the x3 steewed fires. 
Yet, poor ;;w;; owd uWu heawt, ^.^ he holp x3 the heavens to >_< wain. 
;;w;; If wolves xDD had uWu at >w< thy uWu gate uWu howw'd :3 that xDD stewn time, 
^.^ Thou shouwdst uWu have said, x3 'Good ^w^ powtew, turn x3 the key.' 
All ^-^ cwuews >_> ewse :3 subscwib'd. OwO But UwU I UwU shaww >_> see 
uWu The >_> winged UwU vengeance overtake xDD such >_< chiwdwen. 
;;w;; Cown. ^.^ See't shalt xDD thou ^-^ nyevew. Fewwows, howd x3 the :3 chaiw. 
>_> Upon these eyes of ^.^ thinye I'll uWu set x3 my ^-^ foot. 
Gwou. >w< He :3 that xDD wiww think to ^w^ wive >w< tiww ^.^ he be :3 owd, 
Give ;;w;; me x3 some :3 hewp!- x3 O cwuew! x3 O OwO ye ^-^ gods! 
Weg. x3 Onye x3 side xDD wiww ÚwÚ mock anyothew. xDD Th' othew ;;w;; too! 
;;w;; Cown. ;;w;; If xDD you >_> see vengeance- 
:3 1. Serv. :33 Howd x3 youw uWu hand, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
UwU I uWu have sewv'd xDD you OwO evew xDD since UwU I UwU was :3 a child; 
OwO But xDD bettew OwO sewvice uWu have UwU I >_< nyevew donye xDD you 
Than nyow to bid xDD you hold. 
Weg. How now, xDD you ÚwÚ dog? 
:3 1. Serv. ;;w;; If xDD you uWu did ^-^ weaw :3 a ^w^ beawd ;;w;; upon x3 youw OwO chin, 
UwU I'wd ;;w;; shake >w< it on ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ quawwew. 
Weg. >_> What UwU do xDD you ^.^ mean? 
;;w;; Cown. OwO My :33 viwwain! Draw ÚwÚ and ^w^ fight. 
:3 1. Serv. Nyay, >w< then, come ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 the chance of OwO angew. 
Weg. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy ^-^ swowd. ^-^ A peasant stand x3 up >_< thus? 
:33 She UwU takes :3 a xDD swowd ÚwÚ and wuns uWu at ^.^ him behind. 
:3 1. Serv. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; swain! OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you uWu have one ^w^ eye left 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 some ^-^ mischief on ^.^ him. :3 O! >w< He OwO dies. 
;;w;; Cown. Lest >w< it >_> see >_> mowe, ^w^ pwevent :3 it. Out, ^-^ viwe jewwy! 
Whewe >_> is >w< thy UwU wustwe ^.^ nyow? 
Gwou. All dark ÚwÚ and comfortless! :3 Whewe's x3 my >_< son >_> Edmund? 
:3 Edmund, enkindwe aww x3 the OwO spawks of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
;;w;; To ^.^ quit ÚwÚ this >_> howwid act. 
Weg. Out, treacherous :33 viwwain! 
^.^ Thou caww'st on ^.^ him :3 that hates thee. ^.^ It UwU was ^.^ he 
:33 That UwU made x3 the ^.^ uvwtuwe of >w< thy :3 tweasons to us; 
Who >_> is ^w^ too ÚwÚ good to pity thee. 
Gwou. x3 O x3 my fowwies! UwU Then :33 Edgaw UwU was x3 abus'd. 
Kind uWu gods, :33 fowgive ;;w;; me :3 that, ÚwÚ and prosper x3 him! 
Weg. Go thwust ^.^ him x3 out uWu at ^.^ gates, ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him smell 
ÚwÚ His uWu way to Duvw. 
uWu Exit ^w^ [onye] with ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
How >w< is't, x3 my xDD wowd? How wook you? 
;;w;; Cown. UwU I uWu have weceiv'd :3 a x3 huwt. Follow uWu me, >_> wady. 
Tuwn x3 out :3 that >_< eyewess villain. Throw ÚwÚ this ;;w;; swave 
>_> Upon x3 the ÚwÚ dunghiww. x3 Wegan, UwU I bweed :33 apace. 
>_< Untimewy x3 comes ÚwÚ this x3 huwt. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw awm. 
uWu Exit [Cornwall, x3 wed ^.^ by Wegan]. 
uWu 2. Serv. I'll >_< nyevew :3 cawe >_> what x3 wickednyess UwU I UwU do, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this x3 man come to UwU good. 
>w< 3. Serv. ;;w;; If ^.^ she ^w^ wive long, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the >w< end :3 meet x3 the ;;w;; owd course of UwU death, 
UwU Women xDD wiww aww turn >w< monstews. 
uWu 2. Serv. :3 Wet's ;;w;; fowwow x3 the ;;w;; owd Eaww, ÚwÚ and get x3 the bedlam 
;;w;; To lead ^.^ him :3 whewe ^.^ he would. ÚwÚ His roguish ^-^ madnyess 
xDD Awwows itsewf to x3 anything. 
>w< 3. Serv. Go thou. I'll :3 fetch x3 some fwax ÚwÚ and whites of ^.^ eggs 
;;w;; To apply to :33 his xDD bweeding ;;w;; face. Now heaven OwO hewp x3 him! 
:33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. Scene ^.^ I. 
uWu The ;;w;; heath. 

Entew :3 Edgaw. 

ÚwÚ Edg. ÚwÚ Yet xDD bettew thus, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ knyown to be :33 contemn'd, 
Than still contemn'd ÚwÚ and fwattew'd. ;;w;; To be ^.^ wowst, 
uWu The ;;w;; wowest ÚwÚ and UwU most >_< dejected ^.^ thing of fowtunye, 
Stands still uWu in ÚwÚ espewance, ;;w;; wives nyot uWu in ;;w;; feaw. 
uWu The lamentable change >_> is from x3 the OwO best; 
uWu The worst wetuwns to uWu waughtew. Welcome >w< then, 
^.^ Thou unsubstantial ^w^ aiw :3 that UwU I embrace! 
uWu The uWu wwetch :3 that xDD thou x3 hast >_> bwown >w< unto x3 the worst 
ÚwÚ Owes >_< nyothing to >w< thy blasts. 

Entew :33 Gwoucestew, x3 wed ^.^ by >w< an ^-^ Owd uWu Man. 

OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 
OwO My ÚwÚ fathew, poorly ;;w;; wed? ÚwÚ Wowwd, ^w^ wowwd, x3 O ;;w;; wowwd! 
OwO But :3 that >w< thy ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ mutations >_< make >_> us ^-^ hate ÚwÚ thee, 
Life ^.^ wouwd nyot yield to age. 
^-^ Owd uWu Man. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
UwU I uWu have :33 been x3 youw tenyant, ÚwÚ and x3 youw father's tenyant, 
;;w;; These ^w^ fouwscowe years. 
Gwou. :33 Away, get uWu thee away! ^-^ Good fwiend, be ;;w;; gonye. 
x3 Thy UwU comfowts ^.^ can UwU do ;;w;; me nyo ÚwÚ good uWu at aww; 
uWu Thee ;;w;; they OwO may x3 huwt. 
^-^ Owd uWu Man. >_> You ;;w;; cannyot >_> see x3 youw >_> way. 
Gwou. UwU I uWu have nyo :3 way, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^.^ want nyo eyes; 
UwU I stumbwed when UwU I x3 saw. Full ;;w;; oft UwU 'tis :3 seen 
Our means ^.^ secuwe us, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw mere :33 defects 
^-^ Pwuv UwU ouw ^w^ commodities. Ah uWu deaw >_< son :33 Edgaw, 
uWu The OwO food of >w< thy :3 abused father's :33 wwath! 
^.^ Might UwU I >_> but ^w^ wive to >_> see uWu thee uWu in x3 my xDD touch, 
UwU I'wd >_> say UwU I xDD had eyes x3 again! 
^-^ Owd uWu Man. How ^.^ nyow? Who's OwO thewe? 
ÚwÚ Edg. >w< [aside] x3 O ^-^ gods! Who :3 is't ^.^ can >_> say ÚwÚ 'I ^w^ am uWu at x3 the uWu wowst'? 
UwU I ^w^ am xDD wowse than ;;w;; e'ew UwU I uWu was. 
^-^ Owd uWu Man. 'Tis poor ^-^ mad uWu Tom. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >w< [aside] xDD And xDD wowse UwU I OwO may be >_> yet. uWu The worst >_> is nyot 
^w^ So ^-^ wong >_< as ^.^ we ^.^ can >_> say 'This >_> is x3 the worst.' 
^-^ Owd uWu Man. ÚwÚ Fewwow, :3 whewe goest? 
Gwou. Is >w< it :3 a beggarman? 
^-^ Owd uWu Man. Madman ÚwÚ and beggar UwU too. 
Gwou. >w< He >_> has x3 some weason, >_> ewse ^.^ he couwd nyot ;;w;; beg. 
xDD I' x3 th' >w< wast night's x3 stowm UwU I xDD such :3 a fewwow ;;w;; saw, 
>_< Which UwU made ;;w;; me think :3 a x3 man :3 a ÚwÚ wowm. OwO My >_< son 
>_< Came xDD then x3 into x3 my UwU mind, ÚwÚ and yet x3 my ^-^ mind 
Was xDD then scawce ^w^ fwiends with ^.^ him. UwU I uWu have heard ^.^ mowe since. 
;;w;; As fwies to >_< wanton >_< boys OwO awe ^.^ we to x3 th' gods. 
^-^ They OwO kiww >_> us fow uWu theiw ;;w;; spowt. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >w< [aside] How >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this :3 be? 
:3 Bad >_> is x3 the OwO twade :3 that ^w^ must :33 pway >w< foow to >_> sowwow, 
Ang'wing itsewf ÚwÚ and x3 othews.- :3 Bwess ÚwÚ thee, x3 mastew! 
Gwou. Is :3 that x3 the nyaked fewwow? 
^-^ Owd uWu Man. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Gwou. UwU Then :33 pwithee get uWu thee ;;w;; gonye. ;;w;; If fow x3 my ÚwÚ sake 
^.^ Thou wiwt >_> o'ewtake >_> us >w< hence :3 a miwe ow twain 
xDD I' x3 th' uWu way toward uWu Duvw, UwU do >w< it fow UwU ancient love; 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing x3 some ^.^ cuvwing fow ÚwÚ this nyaked x3 souw, 
Who I'll entweat to lead x3 me. 
^-^ Owd uWu Man. xDD Awack, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he >_> is OwO mad! 
Gwou. 'Tis x3 the ÚwÚ time's pwague when OwO madmen lead x3 the bwind. 
Do >_< as UwU I bid ÚwÚ thee, ow rather UwU do >w< thy pleasure. 
Abuv x3 the ^-^ west, be ;;w;; gonye. 
^-^ Owd uWu Man. I'll ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him x3 the best 'pawew :3 that UwU I have, 
:3 Come ^.^ on't >_> what :33 wiww. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Gwou. ^w^ Siwwah nyaked UwU fewwow- 
ÚwÚ Edg. OwO Poow >w< Tom's ^-^ acowd. :3 [Aside] UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; daub >w< it fuwthew. 
Gwou. :3 Come hithew, UwU fewwow. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >w< [aside] xDD And yet UwU I :3 must.- :3 Bwess >w< thy x3 sweet ^w^ eyes, ;;w;; they UwU bweed. 
Gwou. Knyow'st xDD thou x3 the uWu way to Duvw? 
ÚwÚ Edg. UwU Both stiwe ÚwÚ and >_< gate, ^w^ howseway ÚwÚ and UwU footpath. OwO Poow Tom hath :33 been 
x3 scaw'd x3 out of :33 his ÚwÚ good wits. :3 Bwess ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good :33 man's x3 son, from 
x3 the fouw ^w^ fiend! :3 Five >w< fiends uWu have :33 been uWu in poor Tom uWu at UwU once: of 
x3 wust, >_< as Obidicut; Hobbididence, >_> pwince of ^-^ dumbnyess; ^w^ Mahu, of 
>_< steawing; Modo, of :3 muwdew; xDD Fwibbewtigibbet, of UwU mopping ÚwÚ and 
OwO mowing, who xDD since xDD possesses ÚwÚ chambewmaids ÚwÚ and uWu waiting ^w^ women. So, 
;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ thee, x3 mastew! 
Gwou. Here, OwO take ÚwÚ this Purse, xDD thou ÚwÚ whom x3 the :33 heavens' plagues 
:3 Have ^.^ humbwed to aww >w< stwokes. :33 That UwU I ^w^ am wwetched 
:3 Makes uWu thee x3 the :33 happiew. >w< Heavens, deal UwU so :33 stiww! 
Let x3 the supewfwuous ÚwÚ and wust-dieted ^w^ man, 
:33 That xDD swaves x3 youw ordinance, :3 that xDD wiww nyot >_> see 
>_< Because ^.^ he does nyot feew, x3 feew x3 youw pow'w ^.^ quickwy; 
^w^ So distribution >_> shouwd undo xDD excess, 
xDD And >_< each x3 man uWu have enyough. uWu Dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow Duvw? 
ÚwÚ Edg. Ay, master. 
Gwou. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a ^-^ cwiff, x3 whose xDD high ÚwÚ and x3 bending >_> head 
Looks uWu feawfuwwy uWu in x3 the confined deep. 
Bring ;;w;; me >_> but to x3 the xDD vewy >_< bwim of :33 it, 
xDD And I'll repair x3 the misery xDD thou dost UwU beaw 
With ^-^ something rich about x3 me. Fwom :3 that :33 pwace 
UwU I UwU shaww nyo weading ^w^ nyeed. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy awm. 
OwO Poow Tom UwU shaww lead thee. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
^.^ Befowe x3 the >w< Duke of Awbany's OwO Pawace. 

Entew uWu Gonyewiw ÚwÚ and [Edmund ^w^ the] >_> Bastawd. 

Gon. Welcome, x3 my OwO wowd. UwU I :3 mawvew UwU ouw >_< miwd :33 husband 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< met >_> us on x3 the >_> way. 

Entew [Oswald ^w^ the] ÚwÚ Stewawd. 

>_> Nyow, where's x3 youw ÚwÚ mastew? 
>_< Osw. uWu Madam, :33 within, >_> but >_< nyevew x3 man UwU so x3 chang'd. 
UwU I told ^.^ him of x3 the ^.^ awmy :3 that UwU was >_< wanded: 
>w< He ^w^ smiw'd uWu at :3 it. UwU I told ^.^ him xDD you :3 wewe x3 coming: 
ÚwÚ His answew UwU was, 'The OwO wowse.' Of :3 Gwoucestew's tweachewy 
xDD And of x3 the loyal OwO sewvice of :33 his >_< son 
x3 When UwU I inform'd :3 him, xDD then ^.^ he ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me uWu sot 
xDD And told ;;w;; me UwU I xDD had >_> tuwn'd x3 the wrong x3 side OwO out. 
>_> What UwU most ^.^ he >_> shouwd :33 diswike ;;w;; seems >_> pweasant to him; 
>_> What :3 wike, OwO offensive. 
Gon. >_> [to x3 Edmund] UwU Then UwU shaww xDD you OwO go nyo fuwthew. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the >w< cowish tewwow of :33 his ^-^ spiwit, 
:33 That x3 dawes nyot undewtake. ^-^ He'ww nyot x3 feew >_< wwongs 
>_< Which :33 tie ^.^ him to >w< an answer. Our wishes on x3 the uWu way 
^-^ May ^-^ pwuv ^.^ effects. ^w^ Back, :3 Edmund, to x3 my ^-^ bwothew. 
:33 Hasten :33 his musters ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ conduct :33 his :33 pow'ws. 
UwU I ^w^ must change :3 awms uWu at ^.^ home ÚwÚ and UwU give x3 the >_> distaff 
^.^ Into x3 my husband's ^w^ hands. This trusty xDD sewvant 
Shall pass ^-^ between >_> us. Ere ^-^ wong xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wike to hear 
:33 (If xDD you dawe venture uWu in x3 youw UwU own ^.^ behawf) 
^-^ A x3 mistwess's >_> command. :3 Weaw UwU this. xDD [Gives :3 a x3 favouw.] 
^w^ Spawe :33 speech. 
>_< Decwinye x3 youw >_> head. This ÚwÚ kiss, >_> if >w< it x3 duwst :3 speak, 
Wouwd stretch >w< thy ;;w;; spiwits x3 up x3 into x3 the air. 
>_< Conceive, ÚwÚ and ^-^ fawe uWu thee well. 
ÚwÚ Edm. Youws uWu in x3 the ;;w;; wanks of ;;w;; death! ÚwÚ Exit. 
Gon. OwO My UwU most uWu deaw :33 Gwoucestew! 
>_< O, x3 the ^.^ diffewence of x3 man ÚwÚ and ;;w;; man! 
;;w;; To uWu thee :3 a xDD woman's >_< sewvices OwO awe >_> due; 
OwO My >w< foow usurps x3 my body. 
>_< Osw. uWu Madam, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 my OwO wowd. ÚwÚ Exit. 

Entew ;;w;; Awbany. 

Gon. UwU I uWu have :33 been ^.^ wowth x3 the >_< whistwe. 
Awb. x3 O Gonyewiw, 
>_> You OwO awe nyot ^.^ wowth x3 the x3 dust which x3 the wude wind 
;;w;; Bwows uWu in x3 youw :3 face! UwU I feaw x3 youw xDD disposition. 
:33 That ÚwÚ nyatuwe which ÚwÚ contemns >w< it :3 owigin 
UwU Cannyot be :33 bowdewed xDD cewtain uWu in itself. 
:33 She :3 that herself xDD wiww >_> swivew ÚwÚ and disbwanch 
Fwom her matewiaw >w< sap, ^.^ pewfowce ^w^ must uWu withew 
xDD And come to deadwy ÚwÚ use. 
Gon. No uWu mowe! uWu The uWu text >_> is uWu foowish. 
Awb. xDD Wisdom ÚwÚ and xDD goodnyess to x3 the ^-^ viwe xDD seem viwe; 
Fiwths savouw >_> but x3 themsewves. >_> What uWu have xDD you done? 
Tigers, nyot ^w^ daughtews, >_> what uWu have xDD you >_< pewfowm'd? 
^-^ A ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> gwacious ^-^ aged ^w^ man, 
>_< Whose ^w^ wevewence even x3 the head-wugg'd UwU beaw ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; wick, 
:3 Most OwO bawbawous, UwU most ^w^ degenyewate, uWu have xDD you :33 madded. 
Could x3 my ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ bwothew suffew xDD you to UwU do :33 it? 
^-^ A ^w^ man, :3 a >_< pwince, ^.^ by ^.^ him UwU so benefited! 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 the heavens UwU do nyot uWu theiw visibwe ;;w;; spiwits 
>_< Send quickly down to >w< tame these ^-^ viwe offences, 
^.^ It xDD wiww come, 
:33 Humanyity ^w^ must ^.^ pewfowce prey on itself, 
Wike :3 monstews of x3 the deep. 
Gon. Miwk-wivew'd ;;w;; man! 
:33 That >_< beaw'st :3 a >_< cheek fow ÚwÚ bwows, :3 a >_> head fow wwongs; 
Who x3 hast nyot uWu in >w< thy ^w^ bwows >w< an ^w^ eye discewnying 
OwO Thinye honour from >w< thy ^-^ suffewing; :3 that nyot ^w^ knyow'st 
^w^ Foows UwU do UwU those x3 viwwains pity who OwO awe punyish'd 
Ere ;;w;; they uWu have donye uWu theiw >w< mischief. :3 Whewe's >w< thy drum? 
Fwance >_> spweads :33 his ^-^ bannyews uWu in UwU ouw nyoisewess land, 
With plumed ÚwÚ hewm >w< thy >w< state ÚwÚ begins to thweat, 
Whiwes UwU thou, :3 a :3 mowaw x3 foow, UwU sit'st still, ÚwÚ and uWu cwiest 
'Alack, >w< why does ^.^ he so?' 
Awb. xDD See ;;w;; thysewf, devil! 
Proper ^-^ defowmity ;;w;; seems nyot uWu in x3 the >_< fiend 
^w^ So >_> howwid >_< as uWu in uWu woman. 
Gon. x3 O :33 vain foow! 
Awb. ^.^ Thou changed ÚwÚ and :3 sewf-cuvw'd ÚwÚ thing, fow x3 shame! 
Bemonster nyot >w< thy featuwe! ^w^ Wewe't x3 my ^.^ fitnyess 
;;w;; To wet these ^.^ hands UwU obey x3 my bwood, 
^-^ They OwO awe ^-^ apt enough to dislocate ÚwÚ and teaw 
x3 Thy >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and xDD bonyes. Howe'er xDD thou awt :3 a ^.^ fiend, 
^-^ A xDD woman's xDD shape xDD doth OwO shiewd thee. 
Gon. OwO Mawwy, x3 youw manhood UwU mew! 

Entew :3 a ^w^ Gentweman. 

Awb. >_> What nyews? 
>_> Gent. >_< O, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, x3 the >w< Duke of >_> Cownwaww ^-^ 's >_< dead, 
Swain ^.^ by :33 his uWu sewvant, x3 going to put x3 out 
uWu The othew ^w^ eye of ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
Awb. :3 Gwoucestew's uWu eyes? 
>_> Gent. ^-^ A xDD sewvant :3 that ^.^ he bwed, :33 thwiww'd with wemowse, 
>w< Oppos'd OwO against x3 the ;;w;; act, x3 bending :33 his xDD swowd 
;;w;; To :33 his great mastew; who, thereat enrag'd, 
^-^ Fwew on :3 him, ÚwÚ and amongst them feww'd ^.^ him UwU dead; 
OwO But nyot ^-^ without :3 that ;;w;; hawmfuw ^w^ stwoke which xDD since 
>_< Hath ^w^ pwuck'd ^.^ him >w< aftew. 
Awb. This >_< shows xDD you OwO awe xDD abuv, 
>_> You >_< justicews, :3 that these UwU ouw x3 nyethew crimes 
^w^ So :33 speediwy ^.^ can >_> venge! OwO But x3 O poor :33 Gwoucestew! 
>_< Wose ^.^ he :33 his othew ÚwÚ eye? 
>_> Gent. ^-^ Both, xDD both, x3 my OwO wowd. 
This letter, UwU madam, cwaves :3 a UwU speedy answer. 
'Tis from x3 youw sister. 
Gon. >w< [aside] x3 Onye uWu way UwU I ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this well; 
OwO But ^.^ being uWu widow, ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu Gwoucestew with hew, 
^-^ May aww x3 the xDD buiwding uWu in x3 my ^w^ fancy pluck 
>_> Upon x3 my hateful life. ÚwÚ Anyothew uWu way 
uWu The nyews >_> is nyot UwU so :33 tawt.- I'll wead, ÚwÚ and answer. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
Awb. Whewe UwU was :33 his >_< son when ;;w;; they uWu did OwO take :33 his uWu eyes? 
>_> Gent. :3 Come with x3 my uWu wady hithew. 
Awb. >w< He >_> is nyot hewe. 
>_> Gent. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; UwU I >w< met ^.^ him back ;;w;; again. 
Awb. xDD Knyows ^.^ he x3 the ^.^ wickednyess? 
>_> Gent. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. >_< 'Twas ^.^ he inform'd OwO against :3 him, 
xDD And ^.^ quit x3 the ;;w;; house on xDD puwpose, :3 that uWu theiw UwU punyishment 
^.^ Might uWu have x3 the ÚwÚ fweew course. 
Awb. :33 Gwoucestew, UwU I ^w^ wive 
;;w;; To >_> thank uWu thee fow x3 the wuv xDD thou :3 show'dst x3 the OwO King, 
xDD And to xDD wevenge ^.^ thinye :3 eyes. :3 Come hithew, :3 fwiend. 
Teww ;;w;; me >_> what ^.^ mowe xDD thou ^.^ knyow'st. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
uWu The OwO Fwench ÚwÚ camp nyeaw Duvw. 

Entew Kent ÚwÚ and :3 a ^w^ Gentweman. 

Kent. Why x3 the ^w^ King of Fwance >_> is UwU so ;;w;; suddenwy >_> gonye back ^.^ knyow xDD you x3 the 
uWu weason? 
>_> Gent. xDD Something ^.^ he left ^w^ impewfect uWu in x3 the state, which xDD since :33 his 
xDD coming fowth >_> is xDD thought :33 of, which imports to x3 the ^w^ kingdom UwU so much 
feaw ÚwÚ and danger :3 that :33 his xDD pewsonyaw ^-^ wetuwn UwU was UwU most OwO wequiwed ÚwÚ and 
^w^ nyecessawy. 
Kent. Who hath ^.^ he left x3 behind ^.^ him x3 genyewaw? 
>_> Gent. uWu The UwU Mawshaw of >_< Fwance, ;;w;; Monsieuw :33 Wa Faw. 
Kent. Did x3 youw x3 wettews xDD piewce x3 the xDD Queen to xDD any demonstration of 
:33 gwief? 
>_> Gent. Ay, sir. :33 She >_> took ÚwÚ them, ^w^ wead them uWu in x3 my >_> pwesence, 
xDD And nyow ÚwÚ and xDD then >w< an uWu ampwe teaw twiww'd down 
:3 Hew xDD dewicate >w< cheek. ^.^ It ^w^ seem'd ^.^ she UwU was :3 a >_< queen 
Over her ^-^ passion, who, UwU most x3 webew-wike, 
ÚwÚ Sought to be x3 king ^-^ o'ew her. 
Kent. >_< O, xDD then >w< it x3 mov'd OwO hew? 
>_> Gent. ÚwÚ Nyot to :3 a x3 wage. ;;w;; Patience ÚwÚ and sorrow >_> stwuv 
Who >_> shouwd express her ^.^ goodwiest. >_> You uWu have :3 seen 
OwO Sunshinye ÚwÚ and xDD wain uWu at UwU once: her ^-^ smiwes ÚwÚ and tears 
^.^ Wewe :3 wike, :3 a xDD bettew >_> way. >w< Those ^w^ happy smilets 
:33 That pway'd on her ripe >_< wip ^w^ seem'd nyot to ^.^ knyow 
>_> What ;;w;; guests :3 wewe uWu in her ^w^ eyes, which pawted thence 
;;w;; As uWu peawws from ÚwÚ diamonds >_< dwopp'd. ^w^ In ^-^ bwief, 
OwO Sowwow ^.^ wouwd be :3 a rarity UwU most bewov'd, 
;;w;; If aww couwd UwU so :33 become :3 it. 
Kent. Made ^.^ she nyo ^.^ vewbaw x3 question? 
>_> Gent. Faith, >_> once ow twice ^.^ she ^.^ heav'd x3 the xDD nyame of >w< fathew 
Pantingwy ^-^ fowth, >_< as >_> if >w< it OwO pwess'd her heawt; 
^.^ Cwied 'Sisters, ^w^ sistews! Shame of UwU wadies! Sisters! 
Kent! ;;w;; fathew! ^w^ sistews! What, :33 i' x3 th' OwO stowm? :33 i' x3 th' night? 
Let pity nyot be uWu bewiev'd!' >_> Thewe ^.^ she >_> shook 
uWu The >w< howy UwU watew from her ^-^ heavenwy ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And ^-^ cwamouw moisten'd. UwU Then OwO away ^.^ she ÚwÚ stawted 
;;w;; To deal with grief >_< awonye. 
Kent. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ staws, 
uWu The stars :33 abuv us, >_< guvwn UwU ouw :3 conditions; 
^-^ Ewse one self ^-^ mate ÚwÚ and ^-^ mate couwd nyot x3 beget 
>w< Such different >w< issues. >_> You ^-^ spoke nyot with her :33 since? 
>_> Gent. No. 
Kent. Was ÚwÚ this >w< befowe x3 the ^w^ King UwU wetuwn'd? 
>_> Gent. :3 Nyo, since. 
Kent. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, x3 the poor distwessed Lear's :33 i' x3 th' xDD town; 
Who xDD sometime, uWu in :33 his xDD bettew ÚwÚ tunye, :33 wemembews 
>_> What ^.^ we OwO awe come about, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by nyo means 
Will yield to >_> see :33 his >w< daughtew. 
>_> Gent. Why, ÚwÚ good UwU siw? 
Kent. ^-^ A suvweign ^-^ shame UwU so elbows him; :33 his UwU own ;;w;; unkindnyess, 
:33 That stwipp'd her from :33 his benediction, >_> tuwn'd her 
;;w;; To :33 foweign casualties, uWu gave her uWu deaw wights 
;;w;; To :33 his x3 dog-heawted >_> daughtews- these ^.^ things ÚwÚ sting 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ mind UwU so x3 venyomouswy :3 that ^.^ buwnying ^-^ shame 
^w^ Detains ^.^ him from Cordelia. 
>_> Gent. xDD Awack, poor gentleman! 
Kent. Of Awbany's ÚwÚ and Cornwall's ÚwÚ powews xDD you heard ^w^ nyot? 
>_> Gent. 'Tis so; ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU afoot. 
Kent. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you to UwU ouw >_< mastew :3 Weaw 
xDD And OwO weave xDD you to >_< attend ^.^ him. ;;w;; Some uWu deaw cause 
Will uWu in ^.^ conceawment ^-^ wwap ;;w;; me x3 up OwO awhiwe. 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ knyown awight, xDD you UwU shaww nyot UwU gwieve 
OwO Wending ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ acquaintance. UwU I pray xDD you OwO go 
;;w;; Awong with x3 me. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene :33 IV. 
uWu The OwO Fwench :33 camp. 

OwO Entew, with Drum ÚwÚ and >w< Cowouws, Cowdewia, ÚwÚ Doctow, ÚwÚ and >w< Sowdiews. 

OwO Cow. xDD Awack, UwU 'tis OwO he! Why, ^.^ he UwU was >w< met even nyow 
;;w;; As ^-^ mad >_< as x3 the vex'd :33 sea, >_< singing ^w^ awoud, 
Cwown'd with rank fumiter ÚwÚ and fuwwow ÚwÚ weeds, 
With ^-^ hawdocks, UwU hemwock, >w< nyettwes, ;;w;; cuckoo ^.^ fwow'ws, 
Dawnyew, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the idle UwU weeds :3 that gwow 
^w^ In UwU ouw UwU sustainying cown. ^-^ A centuwy >_> send forth. 
Search every OwO acwe uWu in x3 the high-grown field 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to UwU ouw :33 eye. ;;w;; [Exit >w< an Officew.] >_> What ^.^ can :33 man's 
^.^ wisdom 
^w^ In x3 the xDD westowing :33 his :3 beweaved >_< sense? 
>w< He :3 that helps ^.^ him OwO take aww x3 my :33 outwawd uWu wowth. 
^.^ Doct. >_> Thewe >_> is >_< means, UwU madam. 
Our foster nyuwse of ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is wepose, 
uWu The which ^.^ he wacks. :33 That to ;;w;; pwovoke uWu in ^.^ him 
^w^ Awe UwU many :33 simpwes operative, x3 whose powew 
Will ^-^ cwose x3 the ^w^ eye of anguish. 
OwO Cow. All bwest secrets, 
All xDD you uWu unpubwish'd uWu viwtues of x3 the earth, 
Spwing with x3 my :3 teaws! be UwU aidant ÚwÚ and wemediate 
^w^ In x3 the ÚwÚ good :33 man's distwess! ^.^ Seek, >_> seek fow x3 him! 
Lest :33 his unguvwn'd xDD wage >_< dissowve x3 the >w< wife 
:33 That wants x3 the means to lead :3 it. 

Entew Messengew. 

:33 Mess. News, UwU madam. 
uWu The British pow'rs OwO awe ^.^ mawching hithewwawd. 
OwO Cow. 'Tis ÚwÚ knyown befowe. Our uWu pwepawation >w< stands 
^w^ In expectation of OwO them. x3 O uWu deaw ÚwÚ fathew, 
^.^ It >_> is >w< thy business :3 that UwU I OwO go ^-^ about. 
Therefore great Fwance 
OwO My >w< mouwnying ÚwÚ and important tears hath >_> pitied. 
No >_> bwown ^-^ ambition xDD doth UwU ouw :3 awms incite, 
OwO But xDD wuv, uWu deaw xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ag'd father's ÚwÚ wight. 
ÚwÚ Soon OwO may UwU I hear ÚwÚ and >_> see x3 him! 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene V. 
:3 Gwoucestew's UwU Castwe. 

Entew uWu Wegan ÚwÚ and [Oswald ^w^ the] ÚwÚ Stewawd. 

Weg. OwO But OwO awe x3 my brother's pow'rs uWu set uWu fowth? 
>_< Osw. Ay, UwU madam. 
Weg. Himsewf uWu in ÚwÚ pewson OwO thewe? 
>_< Osw. uWu Madam, with much ado. 
uWu Youw :3 sistew >_> is x3 the xDD bettew OwO sowdiew. 
Weg. Lord Edmund x3 spake nyot with x3 youw ;;w;; wowd uWu at ^w^ home? 
>_< Osw. :3 Nyo, UwU madam. 
Weg. >_> What ^w^ might impowt x3 my OwO sistew's >_> wettew to him? 
>_< Osw. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, >_> wady. 
Weg. Faith, ^.^ he >_> is >_< posted >w< hence on sewious :3 mattew. 
^.^ It UwU was great ignorance, :3 Gwoucestew's eyes ^.^ being ^.^ out, 
;;w;; To wet ^.^ him wive. Whewe ^.^ he awwives ^.^ he moves 
All heawts OwO against >_> us. :3 Edmund, UwU I >_< think, >_> is >w< gonye, 
^w^ In pity of :33 his ^-^ misewy, to dispatch 
ÚwÚ His UwU nyighted :33 wife; ^w^ moweuvw, to descwy 
uWu The ÚwÚ stwength ^.^ o' x3 th' enemy. 
>_< Osw. UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds ÚwÚ aftew :3 him, UwU madam, with x3 my >_> wettew. 
Weg. Our troops uWu set fowth ÚwÚ to-mowwow. OwO Stay with >_> us. 
uWu The ways OwO awe :33 dangewous. 
>_< Osw. UwU I OwO may >_> nyot, UwU madam. 
OwO My uWu wady :3 chawg'd x3 my >_> duty uWu in ÚwÚ this business. 
Weg. Why >_> shouwd ^.^ she >w< wwite to >_> Edmund? ^.^ Might nyot xDD you 
:33 Twanspowt her uWu puwposes ^.^ by word? x3 Bewike, 
^w^ Something- UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot what- I'll wuv uWu thee much- 
Let ;;w;; me >w< unseaw x3 the >_> wettew. 
>_< Osw. uWu Madam, UwU I xDD had rather- 
Weg. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw uWu wady does nyot wuv her xDD husband; 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe of :33 that; ÚwÚ and uWu at her wate ^.^ being OwO hewe 
:33 She uWu gave ;;w;; stwange eliads ÚwÚ and UwU most speaking :33 wooks 
;;w;; To x3 nyobwe Edmund. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO awe of her ÚwÚ bosom. 
>_< Osw. I, :33 madam? 
Weg. UwU I speak uWu in undewstanding. Y'are! UwU I uWu knyow't. 
Therefore UwU I UwU do ;;w;; advise xDD you OwO take ÚwÚ this note. 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd >_> is UwU dead; Edmund ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have >_< tawk'd, 
xDD And ^.^ mowe UwU convenyient >_> is ^.^ he fow x3 my uWu hand 
Than fow x3 youw ;;w;; wady's. >_> You OwO may gathew more. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do find :3 him, pray xDD you UwU give ^.^ him >_< this; 
xDD And when x3 youw mistwess x3 heaws OwO thus much from UwU you, 
UwU I pray ^.^ desiwe her caww her ^.^ wisdom to her. 
^w^ So farewell. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do chance to hear of :3 that ^w^ bwind traitor, 
Pwefewment ^w^ fawws on ^.^ him :3 that >w< cuts ^.^ him off. 
>_< Osw. Wouwd UwU I couwd :3 meet :3 him, madam! UwU I >_> shouwd x3 show 
>_> What party UwU I UwU do x3 fowwow. 
Weg. >w< Fawe uWu thee well. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene uWu VI. 
uWu The countwy nyeaw Duvw. 

Entew :33 Gwoucestew, ÚwÚ and :33 Edgaw [like :3 a uWu Peasant]. 

Gwou. x3 When UwU shaww UwU I come to x3 th' ;;w;; top of :3 that same OwO hiww? 
ÚwÚ Edg. >_> You UwU do x3 cwimb x3 up >w< it now. Wook >w< how ^.^ we uWu wabouw. 
Gwou. Methinks x3 the x3 gwound >_> is xDD even. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Howwibwe x3 steep. 
Hawk, UwU do xDD you hear x3 the ^-^ sea? 
Gwou. :3 Nyo, UwU twuwy. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Why, >w< then, x3 youw othew :33 senses gwow ^w^ impewfect 
^-^ By x3 youw eyes' anguish. 
Gwou. ^w^ So OwO may >w< it be indeed. 
Methinks >w< thy uWu voice >_> is >_> awtew'd, ÚwÚ and xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st 
^w^ In xDD bettew phrase ÚwÚ and ;;w;; mattew than xDD thou ;;w;; didst. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Y'awe much ;;w;; deceiv'd. ^w^ In >_< nyothing ^w^ am UwU I chang'd 
OwO But uWu in x3 my x3 gawments. 
Gwou. Methinks ;;w;; y'awe xDD bettew >_> spoken. 
ÚwÚ Edg. :3 Come ;;w;; on, siw; hewe's x3 the ;;w;; pwace. ;;w;; Stand xDD stiww. How x3 feawfuw 
xDD And xDD dizzy UwU 'tis to ;;w;; cast one's eyes UwU so low! 
uWu The >_< cwows ÚwÚ and choughs :3 that OwO wing x3 the >_< midway ^w^ aiw 
uWu Show scawce UwU so gwoss >_< as beetwes. >w< Hawfway down 
;;w;; Hangs one :3 that gathers sampire- :3 dweadfuw twade! 
Methinks ^.^ he ;;w;; seems nyo ;;w;; biggew than :33 his >_> head. 
uWu The fishewmen :3 that UwU wawk ;;w;; upon x3 the >w< beach 
Appear ^.^ wike mice; ÚwÚ and :33 yond ;;w;; taww anchowing bawk, 
>_> Diminyish'd to her UwU cock; her ^w^ cock, :3 a UwU buoy 
Awmost ^w^ too UwU smaww fow :33 sight. uWu The >w< muwmuwing suwge 
:33 That on x3 th' UwU unnyumb'wed idle ^.^ pebbwe xDD chafes 
UwU Cannyot be heard UwU so xDD high. I'll wook nyo >_> mowe, 
Lest x3 my :3 bwain tuwn, ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU deficient ^.^ sight 
Topple down ^w^ headwong. 
Gwou. Set ;;w;; me :3 whewe xDD you ^.^ stand. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. >_> You OwO awe nyow within :3 a :33 foot 
Of x3 th' extweme ^-^ vewge. For aww >_< benyeath x3 the ;;w;; moon 
Wouwd UwU I nyot ^-^ weap >w< upwight. 
Gwou. Let OwO go x3 my >w< hand. 
Here, fwiend, >_> is anyothew purse; uWu in >w< it :3 a jewel 
Weww ^.^ wowth :3 a poor :33 man's >w< taking. OwO Faiwies ÚwÚ and gods 
:33 Pwospew >w< it with uWu thee! Go xDD thou further :33 off; 
x3 Bid ;;w;; me farewell, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me hear uWu thee uWu going. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Now ^-^ fawe OwO ye weww, ÚwÚ good sir. 
Gwou. With aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
ÚwÚ Edg. [aside]. Why UwU I UwU do xDD twifwe OwO thus with :33 his despair 
Is donye to >w< cuwe :3 it. 
Gwou. x3 O xDD you ^-^ mighty ^-^ gods! >w< He ;;w;; knyeews. 
This wowwd UwU I UwU do >w< wenyounce, x3 and, uWu in x3 youw >_> sights, 
:33 Shake x3 patientwy x3 my great >_> affwiction off. 
;;w;; If UwU I couwd UwU beaw >w< it longer ÚwÚ and nyot faww 
;;w;; To ^-^ quawwew with x3 youw great opposewess wiwws, 
OwO My ;;w;; snyuff ÚwÚ and >_< woathed ÚwÚ pawt of ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> shouwd 
Burn itsewf OwO out. ;;w;; If :33 Edgaw x3 wive, >_< O, ;;w;; bwess x3 him! 
>_> Nyow, fewwow, ^-^ fawe uWu thee well. 
>w< He ^w^ fawws x3 [fowwawd ÚwÚ and :33 swoons]. 
ÚwÚ Edg. xDD Gonye, ^w^ siw, x3 faweweww.- 
xDD And yet UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how conceit OwO may rob 
uWu The tweasuwy of >w< wife when >w< wife itsewf 
xDD Yiewds to x3 the theft. xDD Had ^.^ he :33 been :3 whewe ^.^ he ^-^ thought, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this xDD had xDD thought :33 been ^-^ past.- ÚwÚ Awive ow dead? 
Ho UwU you, sir! >_> fwiend! >w< Heaw UwU you, UwU siw? xDD Speak!- 
^-^ Thus ^w^ might ^.^ he pass indeed. ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ he revives. 
>_> What OwO awe UwU you, UwU siw? 
Gwou. :33 Away, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me die. 
ÚwÚ Edg. UwU Hadst xDD thou :33 been ^.^ aught >_> but :3 gossamew, ^w^ feathews, air, 
^w^ So UwU many >w< fadom down precipitating, 
>_> Thou'dst ÚwÚ shivew'd ^.^ wike >w< an :3 egg; >_> but xDD thou dost breathe; 
Hast x3 heavy xDD substance; UwU bweed'st x3 nyot; xDD speak'st; awt UwU sound. 
uWu Ten :3 masts uWu at >_< each >_< make nyot x3 the altitude 
>_< Which xDD thou x3 hast ^w^ pewpendicuwawwy x3 feww. 
x3 Thy >w< wife >_> is :3 a miracle. ^w^ Speak yet ;;w;; again. 
Gwou. OwO But uWu have UwU I >_< faww'n, ow no? 
ÚwÚ Edg. Fwom x3 the xDD dwead ^.^ summit of ÚwÚ this ^.^ chawky ÚwÚ bouwn. 
Wook x3 up OwO a-height. uWu The :33 shwiww-gowg'd lark UwU so uWu faw 
UwU Cannyot be :3 seen ow heawd. Do >_> but wook :33 up. 
Gwou. xDD Awack, UwU I uWu have nyo xDD eyes! 
Is ^-^ wwetchednyess x3 depwiv'd :3 that ^-^ benyefit 
;;w;; To >w< end itsewf ^.^ by UwU death? >_< 'Twas yet x3 some uWu comfowt 
x3 When misery couwd beguile x3 the x3 tywant's xDD wage 
xDD And frustrate :33 his OwO pwoud :33 wiww. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw awm. 
>_< Up- :3 so. How is't? >w< Feew xDD you x3 youw legs? >_> You ^.^ stand. 
Gwou. Too weww, ^w^ too well. 
ÚwÚ Edg. This >_> is :33 abuv aww xDD stwangenyess. 
>_> Upon x3 the >_< cwown ^.^ o' x3 th' xDD cwiff >_> what ^.^ thing UwU was :3 that 
>_< Which pawted from you? 
Gwou. ^-^ A poor :33 unfowtunyate x3 beggaw. 
ÚwÚ Edg. ;;w;; As UwU I :33 stood OwO hewe bewow, >_> methought :33 his eyes 
^.^ Wewe >w< two full >w< moons; ^.^ he xDD had :3 a thousand nyoses, 
Horns ^.^ whewk'd ÚwÚ and :3 wav'd ^.^ wike x3 the enwidged :33 sea. 
^.^ It UwU was x3 some xDD fiend. >_< Thewefowe, xDD thou ^w^ happy ÚwÚ fathew, 
^w^ Think :3 that x3 the ;;w;; cweawest uWu gods, who >_< make them honyouws 
Of men's xDD impossibiwity, uWu have preserv'd thee. 
Gwou. UwU I UwU do remember now. ÚwÚ Hencefowth I'll UwU beaw 
Affwiction >w< tiww >w< it UwU do cwy x3 out itsewf 
ÚwÚ 'Enyough, uWu enyough,' ÚwÚ and die. :33 That ^.^ thing xDD you speak :33 of, 
UwU I >_> took >w< it fow :3 a man. Often ^w^ 'twouwd >_> say 
'The ^.^ fiend, x3 the uWu fiend'- ^.^ he x3 wed ;;w;; me to :3 that ;;w;; pwace. 
ÚwÚ Edg. ÚwÚ Beaw fwee ÚwÚ and patient >w< thoughts. 

Entew Lear, mad, [fantasticawwy OwO dwessed with weeds]. 

OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 
uWu The safer sense xDD wiww ^w^ nye'ew ;;w;; accommodate 
ÚwÚ His >_< mastew OwO thus. 
>w< Weaw. :3 Nyo, ;;w;; they ;;w;; cannyot :33 touch ;;w;; me fow >w< coming; 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the ^w^ King himself. 
ÚwÚ Edg. x3 O xDD thou side-piewcing ;;w;; sight! 
>w< Weaw. ÚwÚ Nyatuwe ^-^ 's :33 abuv awt uWu in :3 that wespect. >_> Thewe's x3 youw x3 pwess 
money. :33 That fewwow >w< handwes :33 his bow ^.^ wike :3 a crow-keeper. Draw ;;w;; me 
:3 a clothier's >_< yawd. x3 Wook, look, :3 a ^w^ mouse! uWu Peace, :3 peace; ÚwÚ this ^.^ piece 
of ^.^ toasted :3 cheese xDD wiww >_< do't. >_> Thewe's x3 my >_< gauntwet; I'll ^-^ pwuv >w< it 
on :3 a ^.^ giant. Bring x3 up x3 the >_> bwown bills. >_< O, weww fwown, biwd! :33 i' 
x3 th' ^w^ cwout, :33 i' x3 th' cwout! :3 Hewgh! Give x3 the OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ Edg. ÚwÚ Sweet marjoram. 
>w< Weaw. Pass. 
Gwou. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 that voice. 
>w< Weaw. uWu Ha! uWu Gonyewiw with :3 a ^-^ white OwO beawd? ^-^ They flatter'd ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a dog, 
ÚwÚ and told ;;w;; me UwU I xDD had ^-^ white >_< haiws uWu in x3 my ^w^ beawd ere x3 the black ^-^ onyes 
:3 wewe :33 thewe. ;;w;; To >_> say ^.^ 'ay' ÚwÚ and 'no' to evewything UwU I ^-^ said! UwU 'Ay' ÚwÚ and 
'no' ^w^ too UwU was nyo ÚwÚ good >w< divinyity. x3 When x3 the xDD wain ^-^ came to wet ;;w;; me 
^w^ once, ÚwÚ and x3 the wind to >_< make ;;w;; me ^-^ chattew; when x3 the >_> thundew ^.^ wouwd 
nyot uWu peace uWu at x3 my >w< bidding; there UwU I >_> found 'em, there UwU I >_< smewt x3 'em 
OwO out. Go ^.^ to, ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot ;;w;; men ^.^ o' uWu theiw words! ^-^ They told ;;w;; me UwU I UwU was 
evewything. 'Tis :3 a lie- UwU I ^w^ am nyot ague-pwoof. 
Gwou. uWu The twick of :3 that uWu voice UwU I UwU do weww ^.^ wemembew. 
^-^ Is't nyot x3 the >_> King? 
>w< Weaw. Ay, every ÚwÚ inch :3 a x3 king! 
x3 When UwU I UwU do ^-^ stawe, >_> see >w< how x3 the x3 subject quakes. 
UwU I UwU pawdon :3 that :33 man's life. >_> What UwU was >w< thy ^w^ cause? 
>_< Aduwtewy? 
^.^ Thou shalt nyot die. :33 Die fow >_< aduwtewy? No. 
uWu The wren xDD goes >_> to't, ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU smaww :3 giwded fwy 
ÚwÚ Does >_> wechew uWu in x3 my :33 sight. 
Let copulation thwive; fow :3 Gwoucestew's ^.^ bastawd >_< son 
Was kinder to :33 his >w< fathew than x3 my >_> daughtews 
Got >_> 'tween x3 the ÚwÚ wawfuw ;;w;; sheets. 
;;w;; To't, ^w^ wuxuwy, UwU peww-meww! fow UwU I ^.^ wack soldiers. 
ÚwÚ Behowd :33 yond xDD simp'wing uWu dame, 
>_< Whose OwO face ^-^ between her ^-^ fowks pwesageth ;;w;; snyow, 
:33 That ^-^ minces virtue, ÚwÚ and does ;;w;; shake x3 the >_> head 
;;w;; To hear of >w< pweasuwe's nyame. 
uWu The ^.^ fitchew nor x3 the soiwed UwU howse xDD goes uWu to't 
With :3 a ^.^ mowe riotous ÚwÚ appetite. 
xDD Down from x3 the x3 waist ;;w;; they OwO awe ^.^ Centauws, 
;;w;; Though x3 women aww abuv. 
OwO But to x3 the ^-^ giwdwe UwU do x3 the gods OwO inhewit, 
Beneath >_> is aww x3 the :3 fiend's. 
>_> Thewe's >_> heww, there's ^-^ dawknyess, there's x3 the UwU suwphuwous ^-^ pit; 
burning, scalding, stench, consumption. OwO Fie, >_< fie, fie! ;;w;; pah, >_< pah! 
Give ;;w;; me >w< an ^.^ ounce of ^w^ civet, ÚwÚ good xDD apothecawy, to sweeten x3 my 
>_< imaginyation. >_> Thewe's monyey fow thee. 
Gwou. >_< O, wet ;;w;; me :3 kiss :3 that xDD hand! 
>w< Weaw. Let ;;w;; me xDD wipe >w< it first; >w< it >_< smewws of >_< mowtawity. 
Gwou. x3 O ;;w;; wuin'd ^.^ piece of nyatuwe! This great wowwd 
Shall UwU so ^-^ weaw x3 out to nyaught. uWu Dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow me? 
>w< Weaw. UwU I remember ^.^ thinye eyes weww enyough. uWu Dost xDD thou OwO squiny uWu at me? 
:3 Nyo, UwU do >w< thy ^.^ wowst, ^w^ bwind ^-^ Cupid! I'll nyot love. xDD Wead xDD thou ÚwÚ this 
ÚwÚ chawwenge; mark >_> but x3 the ;;w;; pennying of :3 it. 
Gwou. ^.^ Wewe aww x3 the x3 wettews :33 suns, UwU I couwd nyot >_> see onye. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >w< [aside] UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO take ÚwÚ this from report. ^.^ It ;;w;; is, 
xDD And x3 my >_< heawt >_< bweaks uWu at :3 it. 
>w< Weaw. Read. 
Gwou. What, with x3 the case of uWu eyes? 
>w< Weaw. >_< O, :3 ho, OwO awe xDD you there with me? No eyes uWu in x3 youw head, nor nyo 
monyey uWu in x3 youw :33 puwse? uWu Youw eyes OwO awe uWu in :3 a x3 heavy case, x3 youw >_< puwse 
uWu in :3 a light. ÚwÚ Yet xDD you >_> see >w< how ÚwÚ this wowwd >w< goes. 
Gwou. UwU I >_> see >w< it ^-^ feewingwy. 
>w< Weaw. What, awt uWu mad? ^-^ A x3 man OwO may >_> see >w< how x3 the wowwd xDD goes with nyo :3 eyes. 
Wook with ^.^ thinye ears. xDD See >w< how :33 yond justice ^-^ waiws ;;w;; upon :33 yond 
:33 simpwe >w< thief. ^.^ Hawk uWu in ^.^ thinye :3 eaw. Change pwaces x3 and, uWu handy-dandy, 
which >_> is x3 the justice, which >_> is x3 the :3 thief? ^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 seen :3 a 
farmer's dog >_< bawk uWu at :3 a ^.^ beggaw? 
Gwou. Ay, sir. 
>w< Weaw. xDD And x3 the creature >w< wun from x3 the >_< cuw? >_> Thewe xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst behowd 
x3 the great x3 image of authowity: :3 a :3 dog's >_> obeyed uWu in ^w^ office. 
^.^ Thou wascaw beadwe, howd >w< thy bwoody xDD hand! 
Why dost xDD thou lash :3 that ÚwÚ whowe? Stwip ^.^ thinye UwU own back. 
^.^ Thou hotly wusts to use her uWu in :3 that uWu kind 
For which xDD thou ^w^ whip'st her. uWu The ;;w;; usuwew uWu hangs x3 the cozenyew. 
^.^ Thwough ;;w;; tattew'd x3 cwothes UwU smaww OwO vices UwU do appear; 
Wobes ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fuww'd ^.^ gowns hide all. xDD Pwate x3 sin with ^.^ gowd, 
xDD And x3 the >w< stwong lance of justice hurtless bweaks; 
>w< Awm >w< it uWu in ^w^ wags, :3 a pygmy's >w< stwaw does xDD piewce :3 it. 
^-^ Nyonye does xDD offend, ^w^ nyonye- UwU I >_> say >_< nyonye! I'll able ^.^ 'em. 
^.^ Take :3 that of uWu me, x3 my fwiend, who uWu have x3 the powew 
;;w;; To UwU seaw x3 th' accuser's x3 wips. >_< Get uWu thee gwass eyes 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ scuwvy xDD powitician, xDD seem 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 the ^.^ things xDD thou dost not. >_> Nyow, now, now, >_< nyow! 
:3 Puww x3 off x3 my uWu boots. Hawdew, harder! ^w^ So. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >_< O, ;;w;; mattew ÚwÚ and impewtinyency >_< mix'd! 
Weason, uWu in madness! 
>w< Weaw. ;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt xDD weep x3 my fortunes, OwO take x3 my :3 eyes. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee weww >_< enyough; >w< thy xDD nyame >_> is ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
^.^ Thou ^w^ must be uWu patient. We ^-^ came :3 cwying hithew; 
^.^ Thou >_> knyow'st, x3 the xDD fiwst time :3 that ^.^ we smell x3 the ^w^ aiw 
We waww ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwy. UwU I xDD wiww >w< pweach to thee. ;;w;; Mawk. 
Gwou. xDD Awack, x3 awack x3 the ^.^ day! 
>w< Weaw. x3 When ^.^ we OwO awe born, ^.^ we cwy :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe come 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this great stage of ;;w;; foows. This' :3 a ÚwÚ good block. 
^.^ It :3 wewe :3 a xDD dewicate ^w^ stwatagem to >w< shoe 
^-^ A troop of UwU howse with ÚwÚ fewt. I'll :3 put't uWu in uWu pwoof, 
xDD And when UwU I uWu have :3 stow'n ;;w;; upon these ^-^ sons-in-waw, 
UwU Then ^.^ kiww, ^.^ kiww, ^.^ kiww, ^.^ kiww, ^.^ kiww, uWu kiww! 

Entew :3 a Gentweman ^w^ [with >w< Attendants]. 

>_> Gent. >_< O, OwO hewe ^.^ he x3 is! Way uWu hand ;;w;; upon OwO him.- UwU Siw, 
uWu Youw UwU most uWu deaw daughtew- 
>w< Weaw. No ^.^ wescue? What, :3 a prisoner? UwU I ^w^ am even 
uWu The natural >w< foow of xDD fowtunye. ^w^ Use ;;w;; me well; 
>_> You UwU shaww uWu have wansom. Let ;;w;; me uWu have :3 a uWu suwgeon; 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 cut to x3 th' ^w^ bwains. 
>_> Gent. >_> You UwU shaww uWu have x3 anything. 
>w< Weaw. No >w< seconds? All myself? 
Why, ÚwÚ this ^.^ wouwd >_< make :3 a x3 man :3 a x3 man of UwU sawt, 
;;w;; To use :33 his eyes fow >_< gawden waterpots, 
Ay, ÚwÚ and >w< waying autumn's dust. 
>_> Gent. ^-^ Good >_< siw- 
>w< Weaw. UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ die bwavewy, ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ smug bridegroom. What! 
UwU I xDD wiww be jovial. ^.^ Come, come, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a uWu king; 
OwO My mastews, ^.^ knyow xDD you ^-^ that? 
>_> Gent. >_> You OwO awe :3 a royal one, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we UwU obey OwO you. 
>w< Weaw. UwU Then there's >w< wife ÚwÚ in't. Nyay, >w< an xDD you get :33 it, xDD you UwU shaww get >w< it 
^.^ by >w< wunnying. x3 Sa, >w< sa, >w< sa, ^-^ sa! 
uWu Exit >w< wunnying. UwU [Attendants ^.^ fowwow.] 
>_> Gent. ^-^ A ^.^ sight UwU most ^w^ pitifuw uWu in x3 the meanyest :3 wwetch, 
^w^ Past speaking of uWu in :3 a x3 king! ^.^ Thou x3 hast one daughter 
Who wedeems ÚwÚ nyatuwe from x3 the general UwU cuwse 
>_< Which twain uWu have ^.^ bwought her ;;w;; to. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >w< Haiw, ^-^ gentwe sir. 
>_> Gent. UwU Siw, ^w^ speed OwO you. x3 What's x3 youw xDD wiww? 
ÚwÚ Edg. Do xDD you hear ^w^ aught, ^w^ siw, of :3 a ÚwÚ battwe xDD towawd? 
>_> Gent. :3 Most >_< suwe ÚwÚ and vulgar. Evewy one x3 heaws :3 that 
>_< Which ^.^ can distinguish UwU sound. 
ÚwÚ Edg. But, ^.^ by x3 youw favour, 
How >_> nyeaw's x3 the othew army? 
>_> Gent. Near ÚwÚ and on UwU speedy ^-^ foot. uWu The :33 main descwy 
Stands on x3 the hourly thought. 
ÚwÚ Edg. UwU I >_> thank xDD you sir. >w< That's all. 
>_> Gent. ;;w;; Though :3 that x3 the xDD Queen on >_> speciaw cause >_> is UwU hewe, 
:3 Hew ^.^ awmy >_> is x3 mov'd :3 on. 
ÚwÚ Edg. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, ^w^ siw 
uWu Exit ^w^ [Gentweman]. 
Gwou. >_> You ever-gentle uWu gods, OwO take x3 my UwU bweath from OwO me; 
Let nyot x3 my >_> wowsew ^w^ spiwit tempt ;;w;; me again 
;;w;; To ^-^ die >w< befowe xDD you UwU pwease! 
ÚwÚ Edg. Weww pray UwU you, :33 fathew. 
Gwou. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, >_> what OwO awe you? 
ÚwÚ Edg. ^-^ A UwU most poor ^w^ man, UwU made >w< tame to ;;w;; fowtunye's ÚwÚ bwows, 
UwU Who, ^.^ by x3 the awt of ÚwÚ knyown ÚwÚ and :33 feewing sowwows, 
^w^ Am x3 pwegnyant to ÚwÚ good >_> pity. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw xDD hand; 
I'll lead xDD you to x3 some :3 biding. 
Gwou. Heawty :33 thanks. 
uWu The >_> bounty ÚwÚ and x3 the benison of heaven 
;;w;; To UwU boot, ÚwÚ and :33 boot! 

Entew [Oswald ^w^ the] ÚwÚ Stewawd. 

>_< Osw. ^-^ A proclaim'd prize! :3 Most happy! 
:33 That >_< eyewess >_> head of ^.^ thinye UwU was xDD fiwst >w< fwam'd >w< fwesh 
;;w;; To >w< waise x3 my fortunes. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; owd xDD unhappy traitor, 
>_< Bwiefwy >w< thysewf ^.^ wemembew. uWu The xDD swowd >_> is x3 out 
:33 That ^w^ must ÚwÚ destwoy thee. 
Gwou. Now wet >w< thy xDD fwiendwy uWu hand 
>_> Put ÚwÚ stwength enough to't. 
:3 [Edgaw intewposes.] 
>_< Osw. >_> Whewefowe, bold peasant, 
uWu Daw'st xDD thou support :3 a pubwish'd traitor? :33 Hence! 
Lest :3 that x3 th' :3 infection of :33 his :3 fowtunye OwO take 
Wike howd on thee. Let OwO go :33 his awm. 
ÚwÚ Edg. ^w^ Chiww nyot wet x3 go, ziw, ^-^ without vuwthew >w< 'cagion. 
>_< Osw. Let x3 go, :33 swave, ow xDD thou >_> diest! 
ÚwÚ Edg. ^-^ Good gentweman, OwO go x3 youw gait, ÚwÚ and wet poor x3 voke :3 pass. ^-^ An chud 
UwU ha' ;;w;; bin zwagger'd x3 out of x3 my :3 wife, ^w^ 'twouwd nyot UwU ha' ;;w;; bin ^.^ zo ^-^ wong >_< as 
UwU 'tis ^.^ by :3 a ^.^ vowtnyight. Nyay, come nyot nyeaw x3 th' ;;w;; owd man. ^w^ Keep ^.^ out, 
>w< che >_< vowe :3 ye, ow Ise >_> twy >w< whethew x3 youw ÚwÚ costawd ow x3 my bawwow be x3 the 
hawdew. ^w^ Chiww be uWu pwain with OwO you. 
>_< Osw. Out, dunghiww! 
^-^ They ^w^ fight. 
ÚwÚ Edg. ^w^ Chiww pick x3 youw teeth, xDD ziw. uWu Come! No ;;w;; mattew vor x3 youw xDD foins. 
[Oswald ^-^ fawws.] 
>_< Osw. >_> Swave, xDD thou x3 hast :3 swain x3 me. uWu Viwwain, OwO take x3 my purse. 
;;w;; If OwO evew xDD thou wiwt thwive, ^.^ buwy x3 my ;;w;; body, 
xDD And UwU give x3 the x3 wettews which xDD thou find'st about ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To Edmund ^-^ Eaww of ^.^ Gwoucestew. ;;w;; Seek ^.^ him x3 out 
>_> Upon x3 the British pawty. >_< O, untimely ;;w;; death! xDD Death! 
>w< He OwO dies. 
ÚwÚ Edg. UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee well. ^-^ A OwO sewviceabwe villain, 
;;w;; As duteous to x3 the OwO vices of >w< thy mistwess 
;;w;; As UwU badnyess ^.^ wouwd desiwe. 
Gwou. What, >_> is ^.^ he dead? 
ÚwÚ Edg. xDD Sit xDD you ;;w;; down, father; xDD west OwO you. 
:3 Wet's >_> see :33 his OwO pockets; these x3 wettews :3 that ^.^ he xDD speaks of 
^-^ May be x3 my fwiends. He's uWu dead. UwU I ^w^ am >w< onwy sowwy 
>w< He xDD had nyo othew x3 deathsman. Let >_> us ^-^ see. 
>_< Weave, ^-^ gentwe wax; x3 and, :3 mannyews, uWu bwame >_> us not. 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow UwU ouw ^.^ enyemies' x3 minds, we'wd >_< wip uWu theiw >_> heawts; 
^-^ Theiw papers, >_> is ^.^ mowe wawfuw. Weads x3 the >_> wettew. 

^w^ 'Wet UwU ouw :3 wecipwocaw x3 vows be x3 wememb'wed. >_> You uWu have UwU many 
oppowtunyities to :3 cut ^.^ him off. ;;w;; If x3 youw xDD wiww ^.^ want >_> nyot, time ÚwÚ and 
:33 pwace xDD wiww be :3 fwuitfuwwy UwU offew'd. >_> Thewe >_> is >_< nyothing :33 donye, >_> if ^.^ he 
^-^ wetuwn x3 the conquewow. UwU Then ^w^ am UwU I x3 the pwisonyew, ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 bed x3 my 
jaiw; from x3 the >_< woathed warmth xDD wheweof ÚwÚ dewivew uWu me, ÚwÚ and suppwy x3 the 
:33 pwace fow x3 youw uWu wabouw. 
uWu 'Youw x3 (wife, UwU so UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> say) :33 affectionyate uWu sewvant, 
>_> 'Gonyewiw.' 

x3 O x3 indistinguish'd xDD space of xDD woman's will! 
^-^ A :3 pwot ;;w;; upon her virtuous husband's :3 wife, 
xDD And x3 the :3 exchange x3 my xDD bwothew! :3 Hewe uWu in x3 the UwU sands 
uWu Thee I'll wake up, x3 the x3 post xDD unsanctified 
Of ^w^ muwthewous lechers; ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the uWu matuwe time 
With ÚwÚ this >_< ungwacious paper strike x3 the ^.^ sight 
Of x3 the death-practis'd ;;w;; Duke, For ^.^ him UwU 'tis weww 
:33 That of >w< thy :33 death ÚwÚ and business UwU I ^.^ can tell. 
Gwou. uWu The ^w^ King >_> is >_> mad. How OwO stiff >_> is x3 my ^-^ viwe sense, 
:33 That UwU I stand up, ÚwÚ and uWu have >w< ingenyious :33 feewing 
Of x3 my >_> huge ^.^ sowwows! uWu Bettew UwU I :3 wewe x3 distwact. 
^w^ So >_> shouwd x3 my >_< thoughts be sever'd from x3 my ^.^ gwiefs, 
xDD And :3 woes ^.^ by wrong imaginyations wose 
uWu The >_< knyowwedge of x3 themsewves. 
^-^ A drum afaw off. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. 
>_< Faw x3 off uWu methinks UwU I hear x3 the beaten dwum. 
^.^ Come, ÚwÚ fathew, I'll bestow xDD you with :3 a :3 fwiend. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene ^-^ VII. 
^-^ A ^w^ tent uWu in x3 the OwO Fwench :33 camp. 

Entew Cowdewia, UwU Kent, ÚwÚ Doctow, ÚwÚ and ^w^ Gentweman. 

OwO Cow. x3 O xDD thou ÚwÚ good UwU Kent, >w< how UwU shaww UwU I ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and ^.^ wowk 
;;w;; To >_< match >w< thy >_> goodnyess? OwO My >w< wife xDD wiww be ^w^ too showt 
xDD And every UwU measuwe fail x3 me. 
Kent. ;;w;; To be uWu acknyowwedg'd, UwU madam, >_> is >_< o'ewpaid. 
All x3 my ÚwÚ wepowts OwO go with x3 the :3 modest truth; 
x3 Nyow ^.^ mowe nor :33 cwipp'd, >_> but :3 so. 
OwO Cow. ^w^ Be xDD bettew UwU suited. 
;;w;; These UwU weeds OwO awe >_< memowies of UwU those >_> wowsew hours. 
UwU I :33 pwithee put them off. 
Kent. Pawdon, uWu deaw UwU madam. 
ÚwÚ Yet to be ÚwÚ knyown ^.^ showtens x3 my UwU made >w< intent. 
OwO My >w< boon UwU I >_< make >w< it :3 that xDD you ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me nyot 
Tiww time ÚwÚ and UwU I think ^.^ meet. 
OwO Cow. UwU Then ^.^ be't >_> so, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. :33 [To x3 the x3 Doctow] How, does x3 the >_> King? 
^.^ Doct. uWu Madam, sweeps xDD stiww. 
OwO Cow. x3 O xDD you uWu kind uWu gods, 
Cuwe ÚwÚ this great ^w^ bweach uWu in :33 his :3 abused nyatuwe! 
xDD Th' ^w^ untun'd ÚwÚ and >_< jawwing ^-^ senses, >_< O, wind x3 up 
Of ÚwÚ this uWu chiwd-changed ;;w;; fathew! 
^.^ Doct. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO may wake x3 the >_> King? >w< He hath slept wong. 
OwO Cow. ^w^ Be guvwn'd ^.^ by x3 youw ^-^ knyowwedge, ÚwÚ and proceed 
xDD I' x3 th' xDD sway of x3 youw UwU own :33 wiww. Is ^.^ he awway'd? 

Entew :3 Weaw uWu in :3 a >w< chaiw cawwied ^.^ by Sewvants. 

>_> Gent. Ay, UwU madam. ^w^ In x3 the heaviness of :33 sweep 
We put >w< fwesh xDD gawments on ^.^ him. 
^.^ Doct. ^w^ Be UwU by, ÚwÚ good UwU madam, when ^.^ we UwU do awake ^.^ him. 
UwU I doubt nyot of :33 his :3 tempewance. 
OwO Cow. Very well. 
:3 Music. 
^.^ Doct. ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you dwaw ÚwÚ nyeaw. Woudew x3 the uWu music thewe! 
OwO Cow. x3 O x3 my uWu deaw ÚwÚ fathew, :33 westowation ^w^ hang 
x3 Thy medicinye on x3 my :3 wips, ÚwÚ and wet ÚwÚ this :3 kiss 
>w< Wepaiw UwU those :3 viowent :33 hawms :3 that x3 my >w< two ÚwÚ sistews 
:3 Have uWu in >w< thy ^w^ wevewence xDD made! 
Kent. Kind ÚwÚ and uWu deaw UwU pwincess! 
OwO Cow. xDD Had xDD you nyot :33 been uWu theiw ÚwÚ fathew, these ^-^ white fwakes 
xDD Had challeng'd pity of OwO them. Was ÚwÚ this :3 a OwO face 
;;w;; To be x3 oppos'd OwO against x3 the ^-^ wawwing ^w^ winds? 
;;w;; To stand OwO against x3 the >_> deep dread-bolted thunder? 
^w^ In x3 the UwU most tewwibwe ÚwÚ and >_< nyimbwe ^w^ stwoke 
Of ^w^ quick OwO cwoss uWu wightnying? to watch- poor perdu!- 
With ÚwÚ this >_< thin helm? Mine ÚwÚ enyemy's dog, 
;;w;; Though ^.^ he xDD had xDD bit uWu me, >_> shouwd uWu have :33 stood :3 that >w< nyight 
^w^ Against x3 my x3 fiwe; ÚwÚ and >w< wast xDD thou ;;w;; fain, poor ÚwÚ fathew, 
;;w;; To hovel uWu thee with UwU swinye ÚwÚ and rogues ^.^ fowwown, 
^w^ In showt ÚwÚ and :3 musty straw? xDD Awack, ^w^ awack! 
'Tis wonder :3 that >w< thy >w< wife ÚwÚ and :33 wits uWu at >_> once 
xDD Had nyot ^-^ concwuded :33 aww.- >w< He wakes. ^w^ Speak to ^.^ him. 
^.^ Doct. uWu Madam, UwU do uWu you; UwU 'tis >_< fittest. 
OwO Cow. How does x3 my royal xDD wowd? How fawes x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty? 
>w< Weaw. >_> You UwU do ;;w;; me wrong to OwO take ;;w;; me x3 out ^.^ o' x3 th' x3 gwave. 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a :3 souw uWu in OwO bwiss; >_> but UwU I ^w^ am bound 
>_> Upon :3 a wheew of ^w^ fiwe, :3 that >_< minye UwU own tears 
Do ^w^ scawd ^.^ wike molten wead. 
OwO Cow. UwU Siw, UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow me? 
>w< Weaw. >_> You OwO awe :3 a ^-^ spiwit, UwU I :33 knyow. x3 When uWu did xDD you die? 
OwO Cow. Still, still, uWu faw >w< wide! 
^.^ Doct. He's scawce ^w^ awake. Let ^.^ him awonye OwO awhiwe. 
>w< Weaw. Whewe uWu have UwU I been? Whewe ^w^ am >_< I? Faiw daylight, 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< mightiwy x3 abus'd. UwU I >_> shouwd ^w^ e'en ^-^ die with pity, 
;;w;; To >_> see anyothew OwO thus. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what to :3 say. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_< sweaw these OwO awe x3 my ^w^ hands. :3 Wet's ^-^ see. 
UwU I x3 feew ÚwÚ this uWu pin prick. Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe x3 assuw'd 
Of x3 my uWu condition! 
OwO Cow. >_< O, wook ;;w;; upon uWu me, ^w^ siw, 
xDD And howd x3 youw ^.^ hands uWu in benediction ^-^ o'ew x3 me. 
:3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, xDD you ^w^ must nyot knyeew. 
>w< Weaw. ÚwÚ Pway, UwU do nyot ÚwÚ mock x3 me. 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a xDD vewy >_< foowish fond ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, 
Fouwscowe ÚwÚ and upward, nyot >w< an >_> houw ^.^ mowe nor >_> wess; 
^.^ And, to deal >_> pwainwy, 
UwU I feaw UwU I ^w^ am nyot uWu in x3 my :3 pewfect :33 mind. 
Methinks UwU I >_> shouwd ^.^ knyow UwU you, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this xDD man; 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^w^ am xDD doubtfuw; fow UwU I ^w^ am UwU mainwy ÚwÚ ignyowant 
>_> What :33 pwace ÚwÚ this is; ÚwÚ and aww x3 the :3 skiww UwU I uWu have 
^.^ Wemembews nyot these UwU gawments; nor UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot 
Whewe UwU I uWu did uWu wodge >w< wast OwO nyight. Do nyot laugh uWu at OwO me; 
For >_< (as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a >_> man) UwU I think ÚwÚ this uWu wady 
;;w;; To be x3 my chiwd Cordelia. 
OwO Cow. xDD And UwU so UwU I am! UwU I am! 
>w< Weaw. ^w^ Be x3 youw tears uWu wet? Yes, ÚwÚ faith. UwU I pray xDD weep not. 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu have x3 poison fow uWu me, UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ dwink :3 it. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you UwU do nyot wuv OwO me; fow x3 youw ÚwÚ sistews 
xDD Have, >_< as UwU I UwU do UwU wemembew, donye ;;w;; me wrong. 
>_> You uWu have x3 some >_< cause, ;;w;; they uWu have not. 
OwO Cow. No >_< cause, nyo OwO cause. 
>w< Weaw. ^w^ Am UwU I uWu in France? 
Kent. ^w^ In x3 youw UwU own :33 kingdom, sir. 
>w< Weaw. Do nyot abuse x3 me. 
^.^ Doct. ^w^ Be ^.^ comfowted, ÚwÚ good UwU madam. uWu The great xDD wage 
>_> You >_> see >_> is kill'd uWu in him; ÚwÚ and yet >w< it >_> is danger 
;;w;; To >_< make ^.^ him even ^-^ o'ew x3 the time ^.^ he >_> has :3 wost. 
Desire ^.^ him to OwO go ^.^ in. ;;w;; Twoubwe ^.^ him nyo ^.^ mowe 
Tiww further settling. 
OwO Cow. Will't uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Highnyess xDD wawk? 
>w< Weaw. >_> You ^w^ must UwU beaw with x3 me. 
>_> Pway xDD you now, x3 fowget ÚwÚ and fowgive. UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and uWu foowish. 
:33 Exeunt. Manyent Kent ÚwÚ and ^w^ Gentweman. 
>_> Gent. Howds >w< it ^-^ twue, ^w^ siw, :3 that x3 the >w< Duke of >_> Cownwaww UwU was UwU so slain? 
Kent. :3 Most cewtain, sir. 
>_> Gent. Who >_> is xDD conductow of :33 his people? 
Kent. ;;w;; As UwU 'tis said, x3 the ^.^ bastawd >_< son of ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
>_> Gent. ^-^ They >_> say :33 Edgaw, :33 his banyish'd x3 son, >_> is with x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Kent 
uWu in ^-^ Gewmany. 
Kent. Report >_> is changeable. 'Tis time to wook >_> about; x3 the ÚwÚ powews of 
x3 the ^w^ kingdom appwoach :33 apace. 
>_> Gent. uWu The ^-^ awbitwement >_> is ^.^ wike to be ^-^ bwoody. 
>w< Fawe xDD you weww, sir. ^-^ [Exit.] 
Kent. OwO My :33 point ÚwÚ and pewiod xDD wiww be throughly wrought, 
:33 Ow weww ow UwU iww, >_< as ÚwÚ this day's battle's :33 fought. ÚwÚ Exit. 




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^.^ ACT V. Scene ^.^ I. 
uWu The British ÚwÚ camp nyeaw Duvw. 

OwO Entew, with Drum ÚwÚ and >w< Cowouws, :3 Edmund, x3 Wegan, Gentweman, ÚwÚ and >w< Sowdiews. 

ÚwÚ Edm. xDD Knyow of x3 the >w< Duke >_> if :33 his >w< wast OwO puwpose OwO howd, 
:33 Ow >w< whethew xDD since ^.^ he >_> is :33 advis'd ^.^ by ^.^ aught 
;;w;; To change x3 the course. He's full of ÚwÚ awtewation 
xDD And xDD sewf-wepwoving. Bring :33 his ^w^ constant pleasure. 
;;w;; [Exit >w< an Officew.] 
Weg. Our OwO sistew's x3 man >_> is :3 cewtainwy :3 miscawwied. 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^w^ Tis to be :33 doubted, UwU madam. 
Weg. >_> Nyow, x3 sweet uWu wowd, 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the xDD goodnyess UwU I intend ;;w;; upon OwO you. 
Teww me- >_> but >_< twuwy- >_> but xDD then speak x3 the >_> twuth- 
Do xDD you nyot wuv x3 my ^-^ sistew? 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^w^ In :3 honyouw'd love. 
Weg. OwO But uWu have xDD you >_< nyevew >_> found x3 my brother's uWu way 
;;w;; To x3 the OwO fowfended :3 pwace? 
ÚwÚ Edm. :33 That xDD thought abuses OwO you. 
Weg. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ doubtfuw :3 that xDD you uWu have :33 been :3 conjunct 
xDD And ^-^ bosom'd with hew, >_< as uWu faw >_< as ^.^ we caww hers. 
ÚwÚ Edm. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by >_< minye honyouw, UwU madam. 
Weg. UwU I >_< nyevew UwU shaww OwO enduwe her. >_< Deaw x3 my uWu wowd, 
^w^ Be nyot ^.^ famiwiaw with her. 
ÚwÚ Edm. Fear ;;w;; me not. 
:33 She ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< Duke her ÚwÚ husband! 

OwO Entew, with Drum ÚwÚ and >w< Cowouws, Albany, Gonyewiw, >w< Sowdiews. 

Gon. >w< [aside] UwU I xDD had rather wose x3 the ÚwÚ battwe than :3 that :3 sistew 
Should woosen ^.^ him ÚwÚ and x3 me. 
Awb. Our xDD vewy >w< woving ^-^ sistew, weww bemet. 
UwU Siw, ÚwÚ this UwU I hear: x3 the ^w^ King >_> is come to :33 his ^w^ daughtew, 
With ;;w;; othews ÚwÚ whom x3 the uWu wigouw of UwU ouw >w< state 
Forc'd to cwy OwO out. Whewe UwU I couwd nyot be OwO honyest, 
UwU I >_< nyevew yet UwU was ^w^ vawiant. For ÚwÚ this business, 
^.^ It x3 toucheth >_> us >_< as Fwance invades UwU ouw land, 
ÚwÚ Nyot bolds x3 the OwO King, with ;;w;; othews :33 whom, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, 
:3 Most >w< just ÚwÚ and x3 heavy ÚwÚ causes >_< make ^-^ oppose. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU Siw, xDD you speak nyobwy. 
Weg. Why >_> is ÚwÚ this >_< weason'd? 
Gon. uWu Combinye togethew uWu 'gainst x3 the enemy; 
For these domestic ÚwÚ and xDD pawticuwaw ^-^ bwoiws 
^w^ Awe nyot x3 the ;;w;; question hewe. 
Awb. :3 Wet's xDD then determine 
With x3 th' UwU ancient of >w< waw on UwU ouw ^w^ pwoceeding. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I UwU shaww >_< attend xDD you presently uWu at x3 youw uWu tent. 
Weg. x3 Sistew, you'ww OwO go with us? 
Gon. No. 
Weg. 'Tis UwU most convenient. >_> Pway xDD you OwO go with >_> us. 
Gon. >w< [aside] >_< O, :3 ho, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the widdwe.- UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. 

xDD [As ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 going OwO out,] enter :33 Edgaw uWu [disguised]. 

ÚwÚ Edg. ;;w;; If ;;w;; e'ew x3 youw Gwace xDD had ÚwÚ speech with x3 man UwU so OwO poow, 
>w< Heaw ;;w;; me one OwO wowd. 
Awb. I'll overtake :3 you.- :33 Speak. 
Exeunt [all >_> but Albany ÚwÚ and Edgaw]. 
ÚwÚ Edg. ^.^ Befowe xDD you >w< fight x3 the battwe, ^w^ ope ÚwÚ this >_> wettew. 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu have ;;w;; victowy, wet x3 the ÚwÚ twumpet >_> sound 
For ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ bwought :3 it. ^.^ Wwetched ^w^ though UwU I ;;w;; seem, 
UwU I ^.^ can produce :3 a x3 champion :3 that xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv 
>_> What >_> is avouched :33 thewe. ;;w;; If xDD you uWu miscawwy, 
uWu Youw business of x3 the wowwd hath UwU so >w< an ^w^ end, 
xDD And machinyation ^w^ ceases. :33 Fowtunye wuv you! 
Awb. OwO Stay >w< tiww UwU I uWu have ^w^ wead x3 the >_> wettew. 
ÚwÚ Edg. UwU I UwU was UwU fowbid :3 it. 
x3 When time UwU shaww OwO sewve, wet >_> but x3 the >_> hewawd ^-^ cwy, 
xDD And I'll appeaw ;;w;; again. 
Awb. Why, ^-^ fawe uWu thee well. UwU I xDD wiww >_< o'ewwook >w< thy ^.^ papew. 
uWu Exit [Edgaw]. 

Entew Edmund. 

ÚwÚ Edm. uWu The ;;w;; enyemy ^-^ 's uWu in :33 view; dwaw x3 up x3 youw xDD powews. 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 the guess of uWu theiw true ÚwÚ stwength ÚwÚ and forces 
^-^ By ^w^ diwigent ÚwÚ discuvwy; >_> but x3 youw ^.^ haste 
Is nyow ;;w;; uwg'd on OwO you. 
Awb. We xDD wiww x3 gweet x3 the uWu time. ÚwÚ Exit. 
ÚwÚ Edm. ;;w;; To both these ÚwÚ sistews uWu have UwU I sworn x3 my love; 
x3 Each jealous of x3 the ÚwÚ othew, >_< as x3 the OwO stung 
^w^ Awe of x3 the UwU addew. >_< Which of them UwU shaww UwU I take? 
UwU Both? onye? ow OwO nyeithew? >_> Nyeithew ^.^ can be >_> enjoy'd, 
;;w;; If both wemain alive. ;;w;; To OwO take x3 the ^.^ widow 
xDD Exaspewates, x3 makes ^-^ mad her :3 sistew ^-^ Gonyewiw; 
xDD And hardly UwU shaww UwU I carry x3 out x3 my side, 
:3 Hew :33 husband ^.^ being alive. Now >w< then, we'll use 
ÚwÚ His >_< countenyance fow x3 the battwe, which ^.^ being :33 donye, 
Let her who ^.^ wouwd be x3 wid of ^.^ him >w< devise 
ÚwÚ His UwU speedy :3 taking off. ;;w;; As fow x3 the xDD mewcy 
>_< Which ^.^ he ^-^ intends to :3 Weaw ÚwÚ and to ;;w;; Cowdewia- 
uWu The ÚwÚ battwe :33 donye, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they within UwU ouw x3 powew, 
Shall >_< nyevew >_> see :33 his ;;w;; pawdon; fow x3 my >w< state 
Stands on ;;w;; me to defend, nyot to ^-^ debate. ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene UwU II. 
^-^ A field ^-^ between x3 the >w< two uWu camps. 

Alarum x3 within. OwO Entew, with Drum ÚwÚ and >w< Cowouws, x3 the Powers of Fwance 
uvw x3 the ^w^ stage, >_< Cowdewia with her Fathew uWu in her uWu hand, ÚwÚ and >_> exeunt. 

Entew :33 Edgaw ÚwÚ and ^.^ Gwoucestew. 

ÚwÚ Edg. Here, ÚwÚ fathew, OwO take x3 the :3 shadow of ÚwÚ this twee 
For x3 youw ÚwÚ good >_< host. >_> Pway :3 that x3 the >w< wight OwO may :33 thwive. 
;;w;; If OwO evew UwU I ^-^ wetuwn to xDD you OwO again, 
I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you UwU comfowt. 
Gwou. Gwace OwO go with UwU you, sir! 
uWu Exit [Edgaw]. 

Alarum ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wetweat x3 within. Entew :33 Edgaw, 

ÚwÚ Edg. :33 Away, ;;w;; owd ;;w;; man! UwU give ;;w;; me >w< thy xDD hand! away! 
^w^ King :3 Weaw hath :3 wost, ^.^ he ÚwÚ and :33 his daughter :33 ta'en. 
Give ;;w;; me >w< thy xDD hand! come on! 
Gwou. No further, sir. ^-^ A x3 man OwO may uWu wot even hewe. 
ÚwÚ Edg. What, uWu in :33 iww >_< thoughts ^w^ again? OwO Men ^w^ must OwO enduwe 
^-^ Theiw x3 going hence, even >_< as uWu theiw xDD coming hithew; 
xDD Wipenyess >_> is all. :3 Come :3 on. 
Gwou. xDD And ^w^ that's true UwU too. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
uWu The British :3 camp, nyeaw Duvw. 

OwO Entew, uWu in ÚwÚ conquest, with Drum ÚwÚ and >w< Cowouws, ^.^ Edmund; :3 Weaw ÚwÚ and >_< Cowdewia 
>_< as xDD pwisonyews; Soldiers, ^-^ Captain. 

ÚwÚ Edm. ;;w;; Some ^w^ officews OwO take them xDD away. ^-^ Good xDD guawd 
Untiw uWu theiw :33 gweatew >_< pweasuwes xDD fiwst be ÚwÚ knyown 
:33 That OwO awe to UwU censuwe OwO them. 
OwO Cow. We OwO awe nyot x3 the xDD fiwst 
Who with best meaning uWu have >_< incuww'd x3 the x3 wowst. 
For ÚwÚ thee, OwO oppwessed OwO king, ^w^ am UwU I ;;w;; cast down; 
xDD Mysewf couwd >_> ewse UwU outfwown UwU fawse Fowtunye's fwown. 
Shall ^.^ we nyot >_> see these >_> daughtews ÚwÚ and these sistews? 
>w< Weaw. :3 Nyo, no, no, no! ^.^ Come, >_> wet's OwO away to x3 pwison. 
We >w< two awonye xDD wiww ^.^ sing ^.^ wike xDD biwds :33 i' x3 th' cage. 
x3 When xDD thou dost ^w^ ask ;;w;; me blessing, I'll ^w^ knyeew down 
xDD And ^w^ ask of uWu thee forgiveness. ^w^ So we'll x3 wive, 
xDD And pray, ÚwÚ and ^w^ sing, ÚwÚ and tell ;;w;; owd tales, ÚwÚ and laugh 
At :3 giwded UwU buttewfwies, ÚwÚ and hear poor rogues 
Talk of court nyews; ÚwÚ and we'll tawk with them UwU too- 
Who loses ÚwÚ and who ÚwÚ wins; OwO who's x3 in, OwO who's :3 out- 
xDD And OwO take ;;w;; upon ^-^ 's x3 the mystery of :3 things, 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ we :3 wewe >_> God's ^.^ spies; ÚwÚ and we'll ^-^ weaw ^.^ out, 
^w^ In :3 a ^w^ waww'd pwison, OwO packs ÚwÚ and :3 sects of great ^-^ onyes 
:33 That ebb ÚwÚ and fwow ^.^ by x3 th' x3 moon. 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^.^ Take them xDD away. 
>w< Weaw. >_> Upon xDD such x3 sacwifices, x3 my Cowdewia, 
uWu The gods x3 themsewves ^-^ thwow ^w^ incense. :3 Have UwU I caught thee? 
>w< He :3 that parts >_> us UwU shaww ;;w;; bwing :3 a bwand from heaven 
xDD And fire >_> us >w< hence ^.^ wike :3 foxes. :33 Wipe ^.^ thinye :3 eyes. 
uWu The xDD goodyeaws UwU shaww devour 'em, >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and fell, 
Ere ;;w;; they UwU shaww >_< make >_> us ^-^ weep! ^-^ We'ww >_> see x3 'em ^-^ stawv'd fiwst. 
>w< Come. Exeunt >w< [Weaw ÚwÚ and Cowdewia, uWu guawded]. 
ÚwÚ Edm. :3 Come hithew, >_< Captain; hawk. 
^.^ Take xDD thou ÚwÚ this ^-^ nyote >_> [gives :3 a ^-^ papew]. Go ;;w;; fowwow them to x3 pwison. 
x3 Onye :33 step UwU I uWu have >w< advanc'd thee. ;;w;; If xDD thou dost 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this >_< instwucts ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou dost >_< make >w< thy uWu way 
;;w;; To x3 nyobwe fortunes. xDD Knyow xDD thou uWu this, :3 that ;;w;; men 
^w^ Awe >_< as x3 the time >w< is. ;;w;; To be tender-minded 
ÚwÚ Does nyot :33 become :3 a ^-^ swowd. x3 Thy great >w< empwoyment 
Will nyot UwU beaw x3 question. ^-^ Eithew >_> say thou'lt ;;w;; do't, 
:33 Ow x3 thwive ^.^ by othew means. 
uWu Capt. I'll ;;w;; do't, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ Edm. About :3 it! ÚwÚ and >w< wwite ^w^ happy when x3 th' x3 hast ^-^ donye. 
Mark- UwU I say, :3 instantwy; ÚwÚ and carry >w< it UwU so 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have uWu set >w< it down. 
uWu Capt. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot dwaw :3 a cart, nor eat dwied oats; 
;;w;; If >w< it be :33 man's work, I'll >_< do't. ÚwÚ Exit. 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew Albany, Gonyewiw, x3 Wegan, >w< Sowdiews. 

Awb. UwU Siw, xDD you uWu have ^w^ show'd ^w^ to-day x3 youw uWu vawiant :33 stwain, 
xDD And :3 fowtunye x3 wed xDD you well. >_> You uWu have x3 the captives 
Who :3 wewe x3 the >_< opposites of ÚwÚ this day's x3 stwife. 
We UwU do xDD wequiwe them of UwU you, UwU so to use them 
;;w;; As ^.^ we UwU shaww find uWu theiw xDD mewits ÚwÚ and UwU ouw :33 safety 
^-^ May equally ^.^ detewminye. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU Siw, UwU I xDD thought >w< it ;;w;; fit 
;;w;; To >_> send x3 the ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and >w< misewabwe ^w^ King 
;;w;; To x3 some wetention ÚwÚ and uWu appointed guard; 
>_< Whose age >_> has chawms uWu in :33 it, x3 whose ;;w;; titwe >_> mowe, 
;;w;; To pluck x3 the ^w^ common ^w^ bosom on :33 his x3 side 
xDD And turn UwU ouw xDD impwess'd wances uWu in UwU ouw eyes 
>_< Which UwU do ÚwÚ command OwO them. With ^.^ him UwU I sent x3 the :3 Queen, 
OwO My reason aww x3 the >w< same; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they OwO awe ready 
>_< To-mowwow, ow uWu at further space, t' appeaw 
Whewe xDD you UwU shaww howd x3 youw session. At ÚwÚ this time 
We UwU sweat ÚwÚ and bleed: x3 the :33 fwiend hath wost :33 his fwiend; 
xDD And x3 the best quarrels, uWu in x3 the ^.^ heat, OwO awe curs'd 
^-^ By UwU those :3 that x3 feew uWu theiw sharpness. 
uWu The ;;w;; question of >_< Cowdewia ÚwÚ and her >w< fathew 
ÚwÚ Wequiwes :3 a fitter ;;w;; pwace. 
Awb. UwU Siw, ^.^ by x3 youw patience, 
UwU I howd xDD you >_> but :3 a x3 subject of ÚwÚ this waw, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< as :3 a ^-^ bwothew. 
Weg. >w< That's >_< as ^.^ we ÚwÚ wist to xDD gwace ^.^ him. 
Methinks UwU ouw :3 pweasuwe ^w^ might uWu have :33 been ÚwÚ demanded 
Ere xDD you xDD had ^-^ spoke UwU so far. >w< He x3 wed UwU ouw x3 powews, 
^-^ Bowe x3 the OwO commission of x3 my :33 pwace ÚwÚ and pewson, 
uWu The which immediacy OwO may weww stand x3 up 
xDD And caww itsewf x3 youw ^-^ bwothew. 
Gon. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so :33 hot! 
^w^ In :33 his UwU own xDD gwace ^.^ he xDD doth ;;w;; exawt >_< himsewf 
uWu Mowe than uWu in x3 youw >_> addition. 
Weg. ^w^ In x3 my wights 
^-^ By ;;w;; me ^w^ invested, ^.^ he compeers x3 the >_> best. 
Gon. :33 That :3 wewe x3 the UwU most >_> if ^.^ he >_> shouwd :33 husband OwO you. 
Weg. :3 Jestews UwU do ;;w;; oft ^-^ pwuv pwophets. 
Gon. uWu Howwa, holla! 
:33 That ^w^ eye :3 that told xDD you UwU so >_> wook'd >_> but >_> asquint. 
Weg. Lady, UwU I ^w^ am nyot well; >_> ewse UwU I >_> shouwd answew 
Fwom :3 a full-flowing :33 stomach. Genyewaw, 
^.^ Take xDD thou x3 my xDD sowdiews, pwisonyews, OwO patwimony; 
Dispose of ÚwÚ them, of OwO me; x3 the OwO wawws OwO awe ÚwÚ thinye. 
Witness x3 the wowwd :3 that UwU I >w< cweate uWu thee OwO hewe 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and master. 
Gon. UwU Mean xDD you to ^.^ enjoy him? 
Awb. uWu The wet-awonye wies nyot uWu in x3 youw ÚwÚ good :33 wiww. 
ÚwÚ Edm. x3 Nyow uWu in xDD thinye, OwO wowd. 
Awb. ÚwÚ Hawf-bwooded fewwow, uWu yes. 
Weg. >_> [to x3 Edmund] Let x3 the drum ÚwÚ stwike, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwuv x3 my ;;w;; titwe ÚwÚ thinye. 
Awb. OwO Stay :33 yet; hear reason. :3 Edmund, UwU I ;;w;; awwest uWu thee 
On >w< capitaw treason; x3 and, uWu in ^.^ thinye attaint, 
This :3 giwded serpent ^.^ [points to Gonyewiw]. For x3 youw claim, >w< faiw 
^-^ sistew, 
UwU I ^-^ baw >w< it uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ intewest of x3 my x3 wife. 
'Tis ^.^ she >_> is :3 subcontwacted to ÚwÚ this uWu wowd, 
xDD And I, her ^.^ husband, contwadict x3 youw banes. 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww marry, >_< make x3 youw loves to OwO me; 
OwO My uWu wady >_> is uWu bespoke. 
Gon. ^-^ An x3 intewwude! 
Awb. ^.^ Thou awt arm'd, ^.^ Gwoucestew. Let x3 the ÚwÚ twumpet UwU sound. 
;;w;; If >_< nyonye appeaw to ^-^ pwuv ;;w;; upon >w< thy ÚwÚ pewson 
x3 Thy uWu heinyous, manifest, ÚwÚ and UwU many uWu tweasons, 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 my >_< pwedge [throws down :3 a glove]! I'll ^-^ pwuv >w< it on >w< thy 
uWu heawt, 
Ere UwU I >_> taste bread, xDD thou awt uWu in >_< nyothing less 
Than UwU I uWu have OwO hewe proclaim'd thee. 
Weg. Sick, >_< O, sick! 
Gon. >w< [aside] ;;w;; If >_> nyot, I'll ^w^ nye'ew :33 twust ÚwÚ medicinye. 
ÚwÚ Edm. >_> Thewe's x3 my :3 exchange [throws down :3 a glove]. >_> What uWu in x3 the wowwd 
^.^ he >_> is 
:33 That nyames ;;w;; me traitor, x3 viwwain-wike ^.^ he uWu wies. 
;;w;; Caww ^.^ by >w< thy twumpet. >w< He :3 that x3 dawes approach, 
On :3 him, on UwU you, who ^w^ nyot? UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ maintain 
OwO My uWu twuth ÚwÚ and honour ^-^ fiwmwy. 
Awb. ^-^ A >_< hewawd, ho! 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^-^ A >_< hewawd, :3 ho, :3 a ^w^ hewawd! 
Awb. Twust to >w< thy :3 singwe UwU viwtue; fow >w< thy xDD sowdiews, 
All ^w^ wevied uWu in x3 my :33 nyame, uWu have uWu in x3 my xDD nyame 
>w< Took uWu theiw ^-^ dischawge. 
Weg. OwO My sicknyess gwows ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
Awb. :33 She >_> is nyot well. ^.^ Convey her to x3 my uWu tent. 
;;w;; [Exit x3 Wegan, xDD wed.] 

Entew :3 a UwU Hewawd. 

:3 Come hithew, hewawd. Let x3 the ÚwÚ twumpet sound, 
xDD And ^w^ wead x3 out UwU this. 
uWu Capt. x3 Sound, trumpet! ^-^ A ÚwÚ twumpet uWu sounds. 

Hew. uWu (weads) x3 'If xDD any x3 man of ;;w;; quawity ow degwee within x3 the ^.^ wists of 
x3 the ^.^ awmy xDD wiww ÚwÚ maintain ;;w;; upon :3 Edmund, ^.^ supposed ^-^ Eaww of :33 Gwoucestew, 
:3 that ^.^ he >_> is :3 a manyifowd traitor, wet ^.^ him appeaw ^.^ by x3 the thiwd >_> sound 
of x3 the twumpet. >w< He >_> is bold uWu in :33 his >_> defence.' 

ÚwÚ Edm. Sound! First twumpet. 
Hew. Again! ^w^ Second twumpet. 
Hew. Again! uWu Thiwd twumpet. 
Trumpet ^-^ answews x3 within. 

Entew :33 Edgaw, :33 awmed, uWu at x3 the thiwd sound, :3 a Trumpet >w< befowe ^.^ him. 

Awb. ;;w;; Ask ^.^ him :33 his x3 puwposes, >w< why ^.^ he >_> appeaws 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this caww ^.^ o' x3 th' twumpet. 
Hew. >_> What OwO awe you? 
uWu Youw :33 nyame, x3 youw x3 quawity? ÚwÚ and >w< why xDD you answew 
This xDD pwesent :33 summons? 
ÚwÚ Edg. xDD Knyow x3 my xDD nyame >_> is ^.^ wost; 
^-^ By ^.^ tweason's ^.^ tooth bawe-gnyawn ÚwÚ and canker-bit. 
ÚwÚ Yet ^w^ am UwU I x3 nyobwe >_< as x3 the ^w^ advewsawy 
UwU I come to ÚwÚ cope. 
Awb. >_< Which >_> is :3 that advewsawy? 
ÚwÚ Edg. x3 What's ^.^ he :3 that xDD speaks fow Edmund ^-^ Eaww of ^.^ Gwoucestew? 
ÚwÚ Edm. OwO Himsewf. >_> What say'st xDD thou to him? 
ÚwÚ Edg. Draw >w< thy uWu swowd, 
^.^ That, >_> if x3 my ÚwÚ speech ^-^ offend :3 a x3 nyobwe uWu heawt, 
x3 Thy awm OwO may UwU do uWu thee justice. :3 Hewe >_> is ^w^ minye. 
UwU Behowd, >w< it >_> is x3 the OwO pwiviwege of >_< minye honours, 
OwO My ;;w;; oath, ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 pwofession. UwU I protest- 
Maugre >w< thy >_< stwength, youth, pwace, ÚwÚ and :33 eminyence, 
^-^ Despite >w< thy victor xDD swowd ÚwÚ and fire-new fowtunye, 
x3 Thy valour ÚwÚ and >w< thy ÚwÚ heawt- xDD thou awt :3 a uWu twaitow; 
ÚwÚ Fawse to >w< thy uWu gods, >w< thy brother, ÚwÚ and >w< thy father; 
>_< Conspiwant uWu 'gainst ÚwÚ this xDD high ÚwÚ iwwustwious >_< pwince; 
xDD And from x3 th' extremest upward of >w< thy >_> head 
;;w;; To x3 the >_< descent ÚwÚ and x3 dust >_< benyeath >w< thy xDD foot, 
^-^ A UwU most :33 toad-spotted traitor. x3 Say xDD thou >w< 'nyo,' 
This uWu swowd, ÚwÚ this ^.^ awm, ÚwÚ and x3 my best ;;w;; spiwits OwO awe UwU bent 
;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv ;;w;; upon >w< thy uWu heawt, ^w^ wheweto UwU I :3 speak, 
^.^ Thou liest. 
ÚwÚ Edm. ^w^ In ^.^ wisdom UwU I >_> shouwd ^w^ ask >w< thy UwU nyame; 
OwO But xDD since >w< thy uWu outside :33 wooks UwU so >w< faiw ÚwÚ and x3 wawwike, 
xDD And :3 that >w< thy >_> tongue x3 some >_> say of xDD bweeding ^w^ bweathes, 
>_> What >_< safe ÚwÚ and nyicewy UwU I ^w^ might weww deway 
^-^ By UwU wuwe of x3 knyighthood, UwU I ^-^ disdain ÚwÚ and xDD spuwn. 
:3 Back UwU do UwU I toss UwU those :3 tweasons to >w< thy head; 
With x3 the hell-hated >_< wie ^w^ o'ewwhewm >w< thy heawt; 
xDD Which- fow ;;w;; they yet glance ^.^ by ÚwÚ and uWu scawcewy bruise- 
This xDD swowd of >_< minye UwU shaww UwU give them x3 instant uWu way 
Whewe ;;w;; they UwU shaww xDD west fow ever. UwU Twumpets, ^w^ speak! 
Alarums. Fight. [Edmund ^-^ fawws.] 
Awb. :3 Save :3 him, :3 save x3 him! 
Gon. This >_> is mere ^-^ pwactice, ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
^-^ By x3 th' law of :3 awms xDD thou >w< wast nyot bound to answew 
^-^ An unknown UwU opposite. ^.^ Thou awt nyot vanquish'd, 
OwO But OwO cozen'd ÚwÚ and xDD beguiw'd. 
Awb. ÚwÚ Shut x3 youw uWu mouth, uWu dame, 
:33 Ow with ÚwÚ this paper UwU shaww UwU I ÚwÚ stop :3 it. [Shows her her >_> wettew to 
^-^ Edmund.]- :33 [To Edmund]. UwU Howd, sir. 
:33 [To >_< Gonyewiw] ^.^ Thou xDD wowse than xDD any :33 nyame, ^w^ wead ^.^ thinye UwU own evil. 
No >w< teawing, :33 wady! UwU I >_> pewceive xDD you ^.^ knyow :3 it. 
Gon. x3 Say >_> if UwU I xDD do- x3 the UwU waws OwO awe >_> minye, nyot ÚwÚ thinye. 
Who ^.^ can arraign ;;w;; me :3 fow't? 
Awb. :3 Most UwU monstwous! 
Knyow'st xDD thou ÚwÚ this papew? 
Gon. ;;w;; Ask ;;w;; me nyot >_> what UwU I :33 knyow. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Awb. Go ÚwÚ aftew her. >_> She's ^-^ despewate; >_< guvwn her. 
;;w;; [Exit >w< an Officew.] 
ÚwÚ Edm. What, xDD you uWu have :3 chawg'd ;;w;; me OwO with, :3 that uWu have UwU I :33 donye, 
xDD And >_> mowe, much more. uWu The time xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing >w< it OwO out. 
'Tis past, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^w^ am I.- OwO But >_> what awt xDD thou 
:33 That x3 hast ÚwÚ this :3 fowtunye on me? ;;w;; If >w< thou'wt noble, 
UwU I UwU do :33 fowgive thee. 
ÚwÚ Edg. :3 Wet's :3 exchange charity. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyo less uWu in :3 bwood than xDD thou awt, ^.^ Edmund; 
;;w;; If >_> mowe, x3 the ^.^ mowe x3 th' x3 hast wrong'd x3 me. 
OwO My xDD nyame >_> is :33 Edgaw ÚwÚ and >w< thy father's OwO son. 
uWu The gods OwO awe >_< just, ÚwÚ and of UwU ouw >_> pweasant OwO vices 
^-^ Make instwuments to scourge >_> us. 
uWu The dark ÚwÚ and ^.^ vicious :33 pwace :3 whewe uWu thee ^.^ he ^w^ got 
Cost ^.^ him :33 his :3 eyes. 
ÚwÚ Edm. xDD Th' x3 hast >w< spoken right; UwU 'tis true. 
uWu The wheew >_> is come full circle; UwU I ^w^ am hewe. 
Awb. :33 Methought >w< thy xDD vewy :33 gait uWu did >w< pwophesy 
^-^ A royal nyobwenyess. UwU I ^w^ must >_< embwace thee. 
Let sorrow ^-^ spwit x3 my >_< heawt >_> if OwO evew UwU I 
Did ^-^ hate ÚwÚ thee, ow >w< thy ;;w;; fathew! 
ÚwÚ Edg. Wowthy >_< pwince, UwU I uWu knyow't. 
Awb. Whewe uWu have xDD you >_< hid >w< youwsewf? 
How uWu have xDD you ÚwÚ knyown x3 the misewies of x3 youw father? 
ÚwÚ Edg. ^-^ By nursing ÚwÚ them, x3 my OwO wowd. >_> Wist :3 a bwief tale; 
xDD And when UwU 'tis x3 towd, x3 O :3 that x3 my >_< heawt ^.^ wouwd >w< buwst! 
uWu The bwoody pwocwamation to escape 
:33 That follow'd ;;w;; me UwU so nyeaw ^.^ (O, UwU ouw lives' :3 sweetnyess! 
:33 That with x3 the :33 pain of :33 death ^.^ wouwd hourly ^-^ die 
Rather than ^-^ die uWu at once!) ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me to OwO shift 
^.^ Into :3 a madman's ^w^ wags, t' assume :3 a ÚwÚ sembwance 
:33 That xDD vewy ^.^ dogs disdain'd; ÚwÚ and uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO habit 
Met UwU I x3 my >w< fathew with :33 his xDD bweeding wings, 
^-^ Theiw >_< pwecious ^.^ stonyes x3 nyew ^.^ wost; ÚwÚ became :33 his OwO guide, 
UwU Wed :3 him, begg'd fow :3 him, >w< sav'd ^.^ him from UwU despaiw; 
xDD Nyevew UwU (O uWu fauwt!) reveal'd mysewf >w< unto ^.^ him 
Untiw x3 some half >_> houw past, when UwU I UwU was arm'd, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 suwe, ^w^ though ^w^ hoping of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good uWu success, 
UwU I >w< ask'd :33 his blessing, ÚwÚ and from xDD fiwst to >w< wast 
Towd ^.^ him x3 my ;;w;; piwgwimage. OwO But :33 his >w< fwaw'd >_< heawt 
>_> (Awack, ^w^ too xDD weak x3 the OwO confwict to ÚwÚ suppowt!) 
UwU 'Twixt >w< two extwemes of ^-^ passion, joy ÚwÚ and gwief, 
Buwst smilingly. 
ÚwÚ Edm. This ÚwÚ speech of >_> youws hath x3 mov'd uWu me, 
xDD And UwU shaww x3 pewchance UwU do good; >_> but speak xDD you xDD on; 
>_> You wook >_< as xDD you xDD had ^-^ something ^.^ mowe to :3 say. 
Awb. ;;w;; If there be >_> mowe, ^.^ mowe woful, howd >w< it UwU in; 
For UwU I ^w^ am almost ready to >w< dissowve, 
Heawing of UwU this. 
ÚwÚ Edg. This ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^w^ seem'd :3 a pewiod 
;;w;; To xDD such >_< as wuv nyot sorrow; >_> but another, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ ampwify ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, ^.^ wouwd >_< make much >_> mowe, 
xDD And ;;w;; top extwemity. 
Whilst UwU I UwU was big uWu in >_< cwamouw, ^-^ came there :3 a ^w^ man, 
UwU Who, xDD having :3 seen ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my worst x3 estate, 
>_> Shunn'd x3 my >_> abhoww'd >_> society; >_> but >w< then, finding 
Who uWu 'twas :3 that UwU so >w< enduw'd, with :33 his >w< stwong :3 awms 
>w< He ÚwÚ fastenyed on x3 my neck, ÚwÚ and ^w^ bewwowed x3 out 
;;w;; As >w< he'd burst xDD heaven; OwO thwew ^.^ him on x3 my father; 
Towd x3 the UwU most ^.^ piteous xDD tawe of :3 Weaw ÚwÚ and ^.^ him 
:33 That OwO evew ear receiv'd; which uWu in wecounting 
ÚwÚ His grief ^-^ gwew >w< puissant, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD stwings of >w< wife 
:3 Began to crack. xDD Twice xDD then x3 the trumpets sounded, 
xDD And there UwU I left ^.^ him x3 twanc'd. 
Awb. OwO But who UwU was :3 this? 
ÚwÚ Edg. UwU Kent, ^w^ siw, x3 the banyish'd x3 Kent; who uWu in xDD disguise 
Followed :33 his ;;w;; enyemy x3 king ÚwÚ and uWu did ^.^ him OwO sewvice 
Improper fow :3 a slave. 

Entew :3 a Gentweman with :3 a bwoody x3 knyife. 

>_> Gent. Hewp, :33 hewp! >_< O, :33 hewp! 
ÚwÚ Edg. >_> What uWu kind of x3 hewp? 
Awb. ÚwÚ Speak, man. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >_> What means :3 that bwoody knife? 
>_> Gent. 'Tis >_> hot, >w< it x3 smokes. 
^.^ It ^-^ came even from x3 the >_< heawt of- :3 O! ^w^ she's ÚwÚ dead! 
Awb. Who dead? ÚwÚ Speak, man. 
>_> Gent. uWu Youw UwU wady, ^w^ siw, x3 youw :33 wady! ÚwÚ and her :3 sistew 
^-^ By her >_> is poisoned; ^.^ she hath >_> confess'd :3 it. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I UwU was >_< contwacted to them xDD both. All >w< thwee 
Now marry uWu in >w< an ^.^ instant. 

Entew Kent. 

ÚwÚ Edg. :3 Hewe x3 comes Kent. 
Awb. UwU Pwoduce uWu theiw >w< bodies, be ;;w;; they ^.^ awive ow uWu dead. 
;;w;; [Exit >_> Gentweman.] 
This ^w^ judgement of x3 the >w< heavens, :3 that x3 makes >_> us :3 twembwe 
^w^ Touches >_> us nyot with >_> pity. >_< O, >_> is ÚwÚ this uWu he? 
uWu The time xDD wiww nyot UwU awwow x3 the compliment 
:33 That xDD vewy ^w^ mannyews ^-^ uwges. 
Kent. UwU I ^w^ am come 
;;w;; To bid x3 my x3 king ÚwÚ and >_< mastew ^.^ aye ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
Is ^.^ he nyot hewe? 
Awb. UwU Gweat ^.^ thing of >_> us >_> fowgot! 
ÚwÚ Speak, :3 Edmund, where's x3 the >_> King? ÚwÚ and where's ^.^ Cowdewia? 
uWu The >_< bodies of uWu Gonyewiw ÚwÚ and uWu Wegan OwO awe ^.^ bwought ^.^ in. 
OwO Seest xDD thou ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ object, ^w^ Kent? 
Kent. xDD Awack, >w< why >_< thus? 
ÚwÚ Edm. ÚwÚ Yet Edmund UwU was xDD bewov'd. 
uWu The one x3 the othew x3 poisonyed fow x3 my ^w^ sake, 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew >_< swew hewsewf. 
Awb. Even :3 so. Cover uWu theiw UwU faces. 
ÚwÚ Edm. UwU I :33 pant fow life. ;;w;; Some ÚwÚ good UwU I >_> mean to UwU do, 
^-^ Despite of >_< minye UwU own :33 nyatuwe. ;;w;; Quickwy >_> send 
^w^ (Be bwief >w< in't) to x3 the :3 castwe; fow x3 my ^-^ wwit 
Is on x3 the >w< wife of :3 Weaw ÚwÚ and on Cordelia. 
Nyay, >_> send uWu in uWu time. 
Awb. Run, uWu wun, >_< O, run! 
ÚwÚ Edg. ;;w;; To who, x3 my xDD wowd? Who >_> has x3 the office? >_< Send 
x3 Thy ;;w;; token of :3 wepwieve. 
ÚwÚ Edm. Weww xDD thought :3 on. ^.^ Take x3 my ^-^ swowd; 
Give >w< it x3 the ^-^ Captain. 
Awb. Haste uWu thee fow >w< thy life. ;;w;; [Exit Edgar.] 
ÚwÚ Edm. >w< He hath OwO commission from >w< thy >w< wife ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To ^w^ hang >_< Cowdewia uWu in x3 the :3 pwison ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; To uWu way x3 the uWu bwame ;;w;; upon her UwU own despair 
:33 That ^.^ she x3 fowdid hewsewf. 
Awb. uWu The gods ;;w;; defend >_> hew! ÚwÚ Beaw ^.^ him >w< hence OwO awhiwe. 
[Edmund >_> is :3 bownye >_< off.] 

Entew Lear, with >_< Cowdewia ^w^ [dead] uWu in :33 his awms, >w< [Edgaw, xDD Captain, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews >_> fowwowing]. 

>w< Weaw. ;;w;; Howw, ^.^ howw, ^.^ howw, :3 howw! >_< O, xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; men of uWu stonye. 
xDD Had UwU I x3 youw tongues ÚwÚ and ^w^ eyes, UwU I'wd use them UwU so 
:33 That heaven's >_< vauwt >_> shouwd crack. >_> She's >_> gonye fow evew! 
UwU I ^.^ knyow when one >_> is >_< dead, ÚwÚ and when one ^.^ wives. 
>_> She's >_< dead >_< as ;;w;; eawth. uWu Wend ;;w;; me :3 a ^w^ wooking ÚwÚ gwass. 
;;w;; If :3 that her UwU bweath xDD wiww ÚwÚ mist ow stain x3 the OwO stonye, 
Why, xDD then ^.^ she ^.^ wives. 
Kent. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the pwomis'd >w< end? 
ÚwÚ Edg. :33 Ow x3 image of :3 that howwow? 
Awb. Fall ÚwÚ and >w< cease! 
>w< Weaw. This ÚwÚ feathew stiws; ^.^ she lives! ;;w;; If >w< it be >_> so, 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a chance which does xDD wedeem aww ^w^ sowwows 
:33 That OwO evew UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ fewt. 
Kent. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ good x3 mastew! 
>w< Weaw. UwU Pwithee away! 
ÚwÚ Edg. 'Tis x3 nyobwe UwU Kent, x3 youw :3 fwiend. 
>w< Weaw. ^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon UwU you, murderers, traitors :33 aww! 
UwU I ^w^ might uWu have >w< sav'd >w< hew; nyow ^w^ she's >_> gonye fow evew! 
Cowdewia, Cowdewia! xDD stay :3 a ^.^ wittwe. uWu Ha! 
>_> What :3 is't xDD thou xDD say'st, :3 Hew uWu voice UwU was OwO evew OwO soft, 
ÚwÚ Gentwe, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wow- >w< an :3 excewwent ^.^ thing uWu in uWu woman. 
UwU I kill'd x3 the ;;w;; swave :3 that UwU was >w< a-hanging thee. 
uWu Capt. 'Tis ^-^ twue, x3 my wowds, ^.^ he ^.^ did. 
>w< Weaw. Did UwU I >_> nyot, fewwow? 
UwU I uWu have :3 seen x3 the ^-^ day, with x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO biting >w< fawchion 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU made them skip. UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; owd now, 
xDD And these same cwosses :33 spoiw x3 me. Who OwO awe you? 
Mine eyes OwO awe nyot ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> best. I'll tell xDD you stwaight. 
Kent. ;;w;; If :3 fowtunye bwag of >w< two ^.^ she :3 wov'd ÚwÚ and hated, 
x3 Onye of them ^.^ we behold. 
>w< Weaw. This' :3 a dull :33 sight. ^w^ Awe xDD you nyot ^w^ Kent? 
Kent. uWu The >_< same- 
uWu Youw xDD sewvant Kent. Whewe >_> is x3 youw xDD sewvant Caius? 
>w< Weaw. He's :3 a ÚwÚ good fewwow, UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you x3 that. 
^-^ He'ww ÚwÚ stwike, ÚwÚ and quickly UwU too. He's >_< dead ÚwÚ and ^.^ wotten. 
Kent. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; UwU I ^w^ am x3 the xDD vewy >_> man- 
>w< Weaw. I'll >_> see :3 that stwaight. 
Kent. :33 That from x3 youw xDD fiwst of ^.^ diffewence ÚwÚ and x3 decay 
:3 Have fowwowed x3 youw >_> sad ;;w;; steps. 
>w< Weaw. uWu You'we wewcome hithew. 
Kent. x3 Nyow nyo x3 man ^w^ ewse! ^-^ Aww's >w< cheewwess, >_> dawk, ÚwÚ and deadly. 
uWu Youw eldest >_> daughtews uWu have :3 fowdonye ^.^ themsewves, 
xDD And desperately OwO awe uWu dead. 
>w< Weaw. Ay, UwU so UwU I UwU think. 
Awb. >w< He xDD knyows nyot >_> what ^.^ he UwU says; ÚwÚ and :33 vain >_> is >w< it 
:33 That ^.^ we xDD pwesent >_> us to ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ Edg. Very bootwess. 

Entew :3 a ^-^ Captain. 

uWu Capt. Edmund >_> is >_< dead, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Awb. >w< That's >_> but :3 a xDD twifwe hewe. 
>_> You wowds ÚwÚ and x3 nyobwe OwO fwiends, ^.^ knyow UwU ouw >w< intent. 
>_> What uWu comfowt to ÚwÚ this great x3 decay OwO may come 
Shall be xDD appwied. For us, ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< wesign, 
^w^ Duwing x3 the >w< wife of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ Majesty, 
;;w;; To ^.^ him UwU ouw ^w^ absowute power; >_> [to :33 Edgaw ÚwÚ and UwU Kent] xDD you to x3 youw 
>_> wights; 
With UwU boot, ÚwÚ and >w< Such >w< addition >_< as x3 youw honyouws 
:3 Have ^.^ mowe than ^.^ mewited.- All ^w^ fwiends UwU shaww >_> taste 
uWu The UwU wages of uWu theiw virtue, ÚwÚ and aww ^-^ foes 
uWu The >w< cup of uWu theiw x3 desewvings.- >_< O, see, uWu see! 
>w< Weaw. xDD And x3 my poor >w< foow >_> is hang'd! :3 Nyo, no, nyo wife! 
Why >_> shouwd :3 a dog, :3 a horse, :3 a rat, uWu have :3 wife, 
xDD And xDD thou nyo UwU bweath uWu at ÚwÚ aww? Thou'lt come nyo >_> mowe, 
Nyevew, ;;w;; nyevew, ;;w;; nyevew, ;;w;; nyevew, xDD nyevew! 
>_> Pway xDD you undo ÚwÚ this ^.^ button. ^-^ Thank UwU you, sir. 
Do xDD you >_> see :3 this? Wook on >_> hew! look! her lips! 
Wook thewe, wook thewe! >w< He OwO dies. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >w< He ^-^ faints! OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
Kent. Bweak, heawt; UwU I :33 pwithee break! 
ÚwÚ Edg. Wook up, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Kent. :33 Vex nyot :33 his ghost. >_< O, wet ^.^ him >_> pass! >w< He hates ^.^ him 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; upon x3 the ^.^ wack of ÚwÚ this >_< tough wowwd 
>_< Stwetch ^.^ him x3 out wongew. 
ÚwÚ Edg. >w< He >_> is >_> gonye indeed. 
Kent. uWu The wonder ;;w;; is, ^.^ he hath :33 enduw'd UwU so wong. 
>w< He >_> but usuwp'd :33 his life. 
Awb. ÚwÚ Beaw them from x3 hence. Our xDD pwesent business 
Is general woe. :33 [To Kent ÚwÚ and >_< Edgaw] Fwiends of x3 my x3 souw, xDD you 
twain 
Wuwe uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ weawm, ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu gow'd >w< state sustain. 
Kent. UwU I uWu have :3 a jouwnyey, ^w^ siw, x3 showtwy to ÚwÚ go. 
OwO My >_< mastew ;;w;; cawws OwO me; UwU I ^w^ must nyot >_> say >w< nyo. 
Awb. uWu The >_> weight of ÚwÚ this >_> sad time ^.^ we ^w^ must OwO obey, 
^w^ Speak >_> what ^.^ we feew, nyot >_> what ^.^ we ought to :3 say. 
uWu The :3 owdest uWu have :3 bownye most; ^.^ we :3 that OwO awe xDD young 
Shall >_< nyevew >_> see UwU so ÚwÚ much, nor ^w^ wive UwU so wong. 
Exeunt with :3 a >_< dead >w< mawch. 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 






;;w;; 1595 

x3 WOVE'S WABOUW'S LOST 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis >_< Pewsonyae. 

OwO FEWDINyAND, ^w^ King of Navarre 
^-^ BEWOWNyE, ;;w;; wowd :33 attending on x3 the ^w^ King 
:3 WONGAVIWWE, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
DUMAIN, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
^.^ BOYET, ;;w;; wowd :33 attending on x3 the Pwincess of Fwance 
>_< MAWCADE, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
uWu DON >w< ADWIANyO uWu DE ^.^ AWMADO, OwO fantasticaw x3 Spanyiawd 
ÚwÚ SIW :3 NyATHANyIEW, :3 a UwU cuwate 
HOLOFERNES, :3 a x3 schoowmastew 
^w^ DUWW, :3 a ÚwÚ constabwe 
:33 COSTAWD, :3 a >_< cwown 
>w< MOTH, page to Awmado 
^-^ A >_> FOWESTEW 

^-^ THE >_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF FWANCE 
WOSAWINyE, uWu wady :33 attending on x3 the Pwincess 
;;w;; MAWIA, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
>_> KATHAWINyE, uWu wady :33 attending on x3 the Pwincess 
xDD JAQUENyETTA, :3 a countwy OwO wench 

;;w;; Wowds, ;;w;; Attendants, :33 etc. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
Navarre 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Navarre. uWu The >_< King's ^-^ pawk 

Entew x3 the OwO King, ^-^ BEWOWNyE, :3 WONGAVIWWE, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ DUMAIN 

>w< KING. Let x3 fame, :3 that aww OwO hunt ÚwÚ aftew uWu in uWu theiw lives, 
Wive ;;w;; wegist'wed ;;w;; upon UwU ouw ^-^ bwazen ;;w;; tombs, 
xDD And xDD then xDD gwace >_> us uWu in x3 the xDD disgwace of ÚwÚ death; 
UwU When, x3 spite of cormorant ^.^ devouwing Time, 
xDD Th' endeavouw of ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent UwU bweath OwO may UwU buy 
:33 That honour which UwU shaww uWu bate :33 his :33 scythe's >_> keen >_> edge, 
xDD And >_< make >_> us :3 heiws of aww xDD etewnyity. 
>_< Thewefowe, >_< bwave x3 conquewows- fow UwU so xDD you OwO awe 
:33 That >w< waw OwO against x3 youw UwU own affections 
xDD And x3 the >_> huge ^.^ awmy of x3 the OwO wowwd's ;;w;; desiwes- 
Our wate edict UwU shaww >_< stwongwy stand uWu in :33 fowce: 
Navarre UwU shaww be x3 the wonder of x3 the wowwd; 
Our court UwU shaww be :3 a xDD wittwe ^.^ Academe, 
UwU Stiww ÚwÚ and contempwative uWu in UwU wiving art. 
>_> You >_< thwee, Bewownye, ÚwÚ Dumain, ÚwÚ and :3 Wongaviwwe, 
:3 Have sworn fow >w< thwee >_> yeaws' term to ^w^ wive with ;;w;; me 
OwO My uWu fewwow-schowaws, ÚwÚ and to >_< keep UwU those x3 statutes 
:33 That OwO awe wecowded uWu in ÚwÚ this schedule hewe. 
uWu Youw >w< oaths OwO awe x3 pass'd; ÚwÚ and nyow uWu subscwibe x3 youw names, 
:33 That :33 his UwU own uWu hand OwO may strike :33 his honour down 
:33 That ^.^ viowates x3 the xDD smawwest branch OwO hewein. 
;;w;; If xDD you OwO awe awm'd to UwU do >_< as sworn to UwU do, 
Subscwibe to x3 youw >_> deep oaths, ÚwÚ and >_< keep >w< it UwU too. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; wesowv'd; UwU 'tis >_> but :3 a >w< thwee >_> yeaws' uWu fast. 
uWu The ^-^ mind UwU shaww banquet, ^w^ though x3 the >w< body pine. 
Fat paunches uWu have lean pates; ÚwÚ and UwU dainty UwU bits 
^-^ Make rich x3 the wibs, >_> but >w< bankwupt quite x3 the wits. 
^-^ DUMAIN. OwO My >w< woving uWu wowd, Dumain >_> is mowtified. 
uWu The gwossew ^w^ mannyew of these OwO wowwd's dewights 
>w< He ^w^ thwows ;;w;; upon x3 the gwoss OwO wowwd's baser ^-^ swaves; 
;;w;; To xDD wuv, to ^.^ weawth, to pomp, UwU I pine ÚwÚ and >_> die, 
With aww these UwU wiving uWu in phiwosophy. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. UwU I ^.^ can >_> but >_> say uWu theiw >w< pwotestation over; 
^w^ So ÚwÚ much, uWu deaw ^.^ wiege, UwU I uWu have xDD awweady sworn, 
:33 That ;;w;; is, to ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and ^-^ study OwO hewe >w< thwee years. 
OwO But there OwO awe othew :3 stwict OwO obsewvances, 
x3 As: nyot to >_> see :3 a OwO woman uWu in :3 that term, 
>_< Which UwU I UwU hope weww >_> is nyot >_> enwowwed uWu thewe; 
xDD And one day uWu in :3 a >_< week to :33 touch nyo ^w^ food, 
xDD And >_> but one ^w^ meaw on every day ÚwÚ beside, 
uWu The which UwU I UwU hope >_> is nyot >_> enwowwed uWu thewe; 
xDD And xDD then to :33 sweep >_> but >w< thwee >_> houws uWu in x3 the >w< nyight 
xDD And nyot be :3 seen to >_> wink of aww x3 the day- 
x3 When UwU I UwU was UwU wont to think nyo x3 hawm aww night, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a dark >w< nyight ^w^ too of half x3 the day- 
>_< Which UwU I UwU hope weww >_> is nyot >_> enwowwed :33 thewe. 
>_< O, these OwO awe ^-^ bawwen x3 tasks, ^w^ too x3 hawd to uWu keep, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to >_> see x3 wadies, ^-^ study, OwO fast, nyot UwU sweep! 
>w< KING. uWu Youw ^-^ oath >_> is :33 pass'd to pass OwO away from :3 these. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Let ;;w;; me >_> say no, x3 my ^.^ wiege, >w< an >_> if xDD you please: 
UwU I >w< onwy >w< swowe to ^-^ study with x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
xDD And xDD stay OwO hewe uWu in x3 youw court fow >w< thwee >_> yeaws' >w< space. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. >_> You >w< swowe to :3 that, Bewownye, ÚwÚ and to x3 the rest. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ By >w< yea ÚwÚ and x3 nyay, ^w^ siw, xDD then UwU I >w< swowe uWu in ;;w;; jest. 
>_> What >_> is x3 the >w< end of ^-^ study, wet ;;w;; me :33 knyow. 
>w< KING. Why, :3 that to ^.^ knyow which >_> ewse ^.^ we >_> shouwd nyot :33 knyow. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^w^ Things >_< hid ÚwÚ and ^w^ baww'd, xDD you mean, from ^w^ common >_< sense? 
>w< KING. Ay, :3 that >_> is study's ^-^ god-wike ;;w;; wecompense. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. :3 Come ;;w;; on, :33 then; UwU I xDD wiww >_< sweaw to ^-^ study >_> so, 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I ^w^ am UwU fowbid to knyow, 
;;w;; As thus: to ^-^ study :3 whewe UwU I weww OwO may UwU dinye, 
x3 When UwU I to >_> feast >w< expwesswy ^w^ am forbid; 
:33 Ow ^-^ study :3 whewe to :3 meet x3 some mistwess uWu finye, 
x3 When :3 mistwesses from ^w^ common sense OwO awe UwU hid; 
:3 Ow, xDD having sworn ^w^ too ^.^ hawd-a-keeping ;;w;; oath, 
Study to bweak :33 it, ÚwÚ and nyot bweak x3 my troth. 
;;w;; If study's ^.^ gain be thus, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this be >_> so, 
Study xDD knyows :3 that which yet >w< it xDD doth nyot :33 knyow. 
Swear ;;w;; me to uWu this, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ nye'ew >_> say >w< nyo. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; These be x3 the xDD stops :3 that ^w^ hindew ^-^ study UwU quite, 
xDD And twain UwU ouw intellects to :33 vain delight. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Why, aww dewights OwO awe OwO vain; >_> but :3 that UwU most :33 vain 
>_< Which, with :33 pain :33 puwchas'd, xDD doth x3 inhewit UwU pain, 
;;w;; As painfully to ^w^ powe ;;w;; upon :3 a ^w^ book 
;;w;; To >_> seek x3 the >w< wight of truth; OwO whiwe uWu twuth x3 the OwO whiwe 
^-^ Doth :3 fawsewy ^w^ bwind x3 the :3 eyesight of :33 his wook. 
^-^ Wight, UwU seeking wight, xDD doth >w< wight of >w< wight beguiwe; 
So, ere xDD you find :3 whewe >w< wight uWu in >w< dawknyess lies, 
uWu Youw >w< wight gwows dark ^.^ by losing of x3 youw :3 eyes. 
Study ;;w;; me >w< how to uWu pwease x3 the ^w^ eye :33 indeed, 
^-^ By x3 fixing >w< it ;;w;; upon :3 a fairer >_< eye; 
Who :3 dazzwing >_> so, :3 that ^w^ eye UwU shaww be :33 his ^-^ heed, 
xDD And UwU give ^.^ him >w< wight :3 that >w< it UwU was :33 bwinded by. 
Study >_> is ^.^ wike x3 the heaven's glorious sun, 
:33 That xDD wiww nyot be deep-search'd with ^w^ saucy looks; 
>w< Smaww uWu have continyuaw UwU pwoddews OwO evew >_> won, 
:3 Save UwU base ÚwÚ authowity from OwO othews' uWu books. 
;;w;; These ÚwÚ eawthwy godfathers of heaven's wights 
:33 That UwU give :3 a xDD nyame to every xDD fixed :33 staw 
:3 Have nyo ^.^ mowe pwofit of uWu theiw >_< shinying :33 nyights 
Than UwU those :3 that UwU wawk ÚwÚ and uWu wot nyot >_> what ;;w;; they x3 awe. 
Too much to ^.^ knyow >_> is to ^.^ knyow >_< nyought >_> but ÚwÚ fame; 
xDD And every godfather ^.^ can UwU give :3 a nyame. 
>w< KING. How weww uWu he's wead, to reason OwO against >_> weading! 
^-^ DUMAIN. Proceeded weww, to ÚwÚ stop aww ÚwÚ good pwoceeding! 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. >w< He UwU weeds x3 the corn, ÚwÚ and still wets gwow x3 the xDD weeding. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. uWu The ^-^ spwing >_> is near, when green ^.^ geese OwO awe a-bweeding. 
^-^ DUMAIN. How xDD fowwows ^-^ that? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Fit uWu in :33 his :33 pwace ÚwÚ and uWu time. 
^-^ DUMAIN. ^w^ In reason OwO nyothing. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. xDD Something xDD then uWu in >_> whyme. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. >_> Bewownye >_> is ^.^ wike >w< an envious snyeaping frost 
:33 That ^w^ bites x3 the uWu fiwst-bown UwU infants of x3 the ÚwÚ spwing. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. xDD Weww, >_> say UwU I am; >w< why >_> shouwd OwO pwoud ^-^ summew boast 
^.^ Befowe x3 the xDD biwds uWu have xDD any cause to UwU sing? 
Why >_> shouwd UwU I joy uWu in xDD any OwO abowtive >_< biwth? 
At >_< Chwistmas UwU I nyo ^.^ mowe ^.^ desiwe :3 a wose 
Than ÚwÚ wish :3 a >w< snyow uWu in xDD May's ^w^ nyew-fangwed >_< shows; 
OwO But ^.^ wike of >_< each ^.^ thing :3 that uWu in >_< season grows; 
^w^ So UwU you, to ^-^ study nyow >w< it >_> is ^w^ too late, 
Cwimb ^-^ o'ew x3 the ;;w;; house to unlock x3 the xDD wittwe uWu gate. 
>w< KING. xDD Weww, sit out; OwO go ^.^ home, Berowne; ^w^ adieu. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; UwU I uWu have sworn to xDD stay with uWu you; 
xDD And ^w^ though UwU I uWu have fow >_> bawbawism ^-^ spoke ^.^ mowe 
Than fow :3 that ÚwÚ angew >_< knyowwedge xDD you ^.^ can say, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD confident I'll >_< keep >_> what UwU I uWu have ^w^ swowe, 
xDD And bide x3 the >_< penyance of >_< each >w< thwee >_> yeaws' x3 day. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 the OwO papew; wet ;;w;; me ^w^ wead x3 the >w< same; 
xDD And to x3 the xDD stwictest decrees I'll >w< wwite x3 my nyame. 
>w< KING. How weww ÚwÚ this yiewding uWu wescues uWu thee from x3 shame! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. [Weads] UwU 'Item. :33 That nyo OwO woman UwU shaww come within :3 a miwe of 
x3 my court'- >_< Hath ÚwÚ this :33 been proclaimed? 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. Four OwO days ago. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. :3 Wet's >_> see x3 the penalty. [Weads] '-on :33 pain of losing her 
:33 tongue.' Who :3 devis'd ÚwÚ this uWu penyawty? 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. OwO Mawwy, :3 that uWu did ^.^ I. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ÚwÚ Sweet uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ why? 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. ;;w;; To :33 fwight them >w< hence with :3 that xDD dwead penalty. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ A uWu dangewous law OwO against :3 gentiwity. 
[Weads] UwU 'Item. ;;w;; If xDD any x3 man be :3 seen to tawk with :3 a OwO woman within 
x3 the term of >w< thwee years, ^.^ he UwU shaww OwO enduwe xDD such public ^-^ shame >_< as x3 the 
xDD west of x3 the court ^.^ can xDD possibwy UwU devise.' 
This x3 awticwe, x3 my ^.^ wiege, >_> youwsewf ^w^ must break; 
For weww xDD you ^.^ knyow OwO hewe x3 comes uWu in uWu embassy 
uWu The OwO Fwench >_< king's ^w^ daughtew, with >_> youwsewf to speak- 
^-^ A >_< miwd of xDD gwace ÚwÚ and complete UwU majesty- 
About suwwendew x3 up of OwO Aquitainye 
;;w;; To her >_< decwepit, :33 sick, ÚwÚ and x3 bedwid father; 
Therefore ÚwÚ this uWu awticwe >_> is UwU made uWu in vain, 
:33 Ow vainwy x3 comes x3 th' :33 admiwed ^-^ pwincess hithew. 
>w< KING. >_> What >_> say UwU you, lords? Why, ÚwÚ this UwU was quite :3 fowgot. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^w^ So ^-^ study evewmowe >_> is >_> uvw-shot. 
While >w< it xDD doth ^-^ study to uWu have >_> what >w< it :3 wouwd, 
^.^ It xDD doth x3 fowget to UwU do x3 the ^.^ thing >w< it >_< shouwd; 
xDD And when >w< it hath x3 the ^.^ thing >w< it >w< hunteth :3 most, 
'Tis ^.^ won >_< as UwU towns with fire- UwU so >_> won, UwU so :3 wost. 
>w< KING. We ^w^ must of force ^w^ dispense with ÚwÚ this decwee; 
:33 She ^w^ must >_< wie OwO hewe on mere ;;w;; nyecessity. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. :33 Nyecessity xDD wiww >_< make >_> us aww ;;w;; fowswown 
Thwee thousand times within ÚwÚ this >w< thwee >_> yeaws' ÚwÚ space; 
For every x3 man with :33 his >_< affects >_> is born, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ by ^w^ might mast'wed, >_> but ^.^ by >_> speciaw grace. 
;;w;; If UwU I bweak ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wowd UwU shaww speak fow ;;w;; me: 
UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; fowswown on mere ;;w;; nyecessity. 
^w^ So to x3 the UwU waws uWu at large UwU I >w< wwite x3 my UwU nyame; ^-^ [Subscwibes] 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that >_< bweaks them uWu in x3 the least degwee 
Stands uWu in >_> attaindew of xDD etewnyaw ;;w;; shame. 
Suggestions OwO awe to othew >_< as to OwO me; 
OwO But UwU I :33 bewieve, awthough UwU I xDD seem UwU so >w< woath, 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the >w< wast :3 that xDD wiww >w< wast >_< keep :33 his uWu oath. 
OwO But >_> is there nyo ^w^ quick recreation granted? 
>w< KING. Ay, :3 that there >w< is. Our xDD couwt, xDD you knyow, >_> is xDD haunted 
With :3 a :3 wefinyed ÚwÚ twavewwew of UwU Spain, 
^-^ A x3 man uWu in aww x3 the OwO wowwd's x3 nyew fashion >_> pwanted, 
:33 That hath :3 a mint of OwO phwases uWu in :33 his bwain; 
x3 Onye who x3 the uWu music of :33 his UwU own :33 vain >_> tongue 
^-^ Doth ravish ^.^ wike ;;w;; enchanting uWu hawmony; 
^-^ A x3 man of compwements, ÚwÚ whom >w< wight ÚwÚ and wrong 
:3 Have ^-^ chose >_< as umpiwe of uWu theiw mutiny. 
This chiwd of >_> fancy, :3 that Awmado ;;w;; hight, 
For intewim to UwU ouw x3 studies UwU shaww :33 wewate, 
^w^ In ^-^ high-bown wowds, x3 the ^.^ wowth of UwU many :3 a knight 
Fwom OwO tawny OwO Spain wost uWu in x3 the OwO wowwd's ^-^ debate. 
How xDD you OwO dewight, x3 my wowds, UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, x3 I; 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ pwotest UwU I wuv to hear ^.^ him wie, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww use ^.^ him fow x3 my xDD minstwewsy. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Awmado >_> is :3 a UwU most ÚwÚ iwwustwious wight, 
^-^ A x3 man of fire-new wowds, :3 fashion's UwU own knyight. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. Costard x3 the :3 swain ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww be UwU ouw >_< spowt; 
xDD And UwU so to ^-^ study >w< thwee years >_> is >_> but UwU showt. 

Entew ^w^ DUWW, :3 a constabwe, with :3 a letter, ÚwÚ and :3 COSTAWD 

^-^ DUWW. >_< Which >_> is x3 the Duke's UwU own ^.^ pewson? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >w< This, UwU fewwow. >_> What ;;w;; wouwdst? 
^-^ DUWW. UwU I mysewf wepwehend :33 his UwU own pewson, fow UwU I ^w^ am :33 his ;;w;; Gwace's 
:33 fawbowough; >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> see :33 his UwU own ÚwÚ pewson uWu in >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and blood. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. This >_> is he. 
^-^ DUWW. :33 Signyiow OwO Awme- OwO Awme- uWu commends OwO you. >_> Thewe's xDD viwwainy abwoad; 
ÚwÚ this >_> wettew xDD wiww tell xDD you more. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU Siw, x3 the x3 contempts thereof OwO awe >_< as ^-^ touching x3 me. 
>w< KING. ^-^ A >_> wettew from x3 the ^-^ magnyificent ÚwÚ Awmado. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. How wow ^-^ soevew x3 the >w< mattew, UwU I UwU hope uWu in ^w^ God fow xDD high ÚwÚ wowds. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. ^-^ A xDD high UwU hope fow :3 a wow UwU heaven. ^w^ God gwant >_> us UwU patience! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ;;w;; To heaw, ow ÚwÚ fowbeaw ^-^ heawing? 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. ;;w;; To hear ^w^ meekwy, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and to laugh moderately; or, to 
ÚwÚ fowbeaw xDD both. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, be >w< it >_< as x3 the >_> stywe UwU shaww UwU give >_> us cause to x3 cwimb 
uWu in x3 the >w< mewwinyess. 
UwU COSTAWD. uWu The ;;w;; mattew >_> is to uWu me, ^w^ siw, >_< as UwU concewnying Jaquenetta. 
uWu The ^w^ mannyew of >w< it ;;w;; is, UwU I UwU was :33 taken with x3 the ^-^ mannyew. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^w^ In >_> what mannyew? 
UwU COSTAWD. ^w^ In ^w^ mannyew ÚwÚ and >_< fowm ^w^ fowwowing, siw; aww UwU those three: UwU I UwU was 
:3 seen with her uWu in x3 the manyow-house, :3 sitting with her ;;w;; upon x3 the ÚwÚ fowm, 
ÚwÚ and :33 taken fowwowing her x3 into x3 the park; ^w^ which, put together, >_> is uWu in 
^w^ mannyew ÚwÚ and >_< fowm x3 fowwowing. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, fow x3 the UwU mannyew- >w< it >_> is x3 the 
^w^ mannyew of :3 a x3 man to speak to :3 a uWu woman. For x3 the fowm- uWu in x3 some fowm. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. For x3 the ^w^ fowwowing, UwU siw? 
UwU COSTAWD. ;;w;; As >w< it UwU shaww ;;w;; fowwow uWu in x3 my correction; ÚwÚ and ^w^ God ;;w;; defend x3 the 
wight! 
>w< KING. Will xDD you hear ÚwÚ this >_> wettew with UwU attention? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ;;w;; As ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd hear >w< an owacwe. 
UwU COSTAWD. >w< Such >_> is x3 the simplicity of x3 man to heawken ÚwÚ aftew x3 the ÚwÚ fwesh. 
>w< KING. [Weads] 'Gweat deputy, x3 the wewkin's vicegewent ÚwÚ and sole 
x3 dominyatow of UwU Nyavawwe, x3 my x3 souw's :33 eawth's god ÚwÚ and body's fost'wing 
patwon'- 
UwU COSTAWD. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a ;;w;; wowd of Costard >_> yet. 
>w< KING. [Weads] x3 'So >w< it >_> is'- 
UwU COSTAWD. ^.^ It OwO may be so; >_> but >_> if ^.^ he >_> say >w< it >_> is >_> so, ^.^ he ;;w;; is, uWu in :3 tewwing 
^-^ twue, >_> but :3 so. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; Peace! 
UwU COSTAWD. ^w^ Be to uWu me, ÚwÚ and every x3 man :3 that x3 dawes nyot ^.^ fight! 
>w< KING. No words! 
UwU COSTAWD. Of othew men's secrets, UwU I :33 beseech OwO you. 
>w< KING. [Weads] x3 'So >w< it ;;w;; is, besieged with sabwe-cowouwed UwU mewanchowy, UwU I 
uWu did ÚwÚ commend x3 the black ^-^ oppwessing humouw to x3 the UwU most whowesome 
;;w;; physic of >w< thy health-giving air; x3 and, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a gentweman, >_< betook 
mysewf to ^.^ wawk. uWu The time ^-^ When? About x3 the uWu sixth houw; when x3 beasts 
UwU most >_> gwaze, xDD biwds best >_> peck, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men sit down to :3 that nyouwishment 
which >_> is ^w^ cawwed x3 suppew. ^w^ So much fow x3 the time ;;w;; When. Now fow x3 the 
x3 gwound Which? ^w^ which, UwU I mean, UwU I xDD upon; >w< it >_> is ycleped >w< thy park. UwU Then 
fow x3 the :33 pwace OwO Whewe? where, UwU I mean, UwU I uWu did x3 encountew :3 that ^w^ obscenye 
ÚwÚ and UwU most >_< pwepost'wous event :3 that >_> dwaweth from x3 my snow-white OwO pen 
x3 the xDD ebon-cowouwed ink which OwO hewe xDD thou >_> viewest, ÚwÚ behowdest, 
>_< suwveyest, ow seest. OwO But to x3 the :33 pwace OwO Whewe? ^.^ It standeth 
^.^ nyowth-nyowth-east ÚwÚ and ^.^ by uWu east from x3 the xDD west ^-^ cownyew of >w< thy 
:3 cuwious-knyotted ;;w;; gawden. >_> Thewe uWu did UwU I >_> see :3 that :33 wow-spiwited x3 swain, 
:3 that UwU base xDD minnyow of >w< thy xDD miwth,' 
UwU COSTAWD. uWu Me? 
>w< KING. x3 'that OwO unwettewed ÚwÚ smaww-knyowing ^-^ souw,' 
UwU COSTAWD. uWu Me? 
>w< KING. x3 'that shallow >w< vassaw,' 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU Stiww me? 
>w< KING. uWu 'which, >_< as UwU I UwU wemembew, >_> hight ÚwÚ Costawd,' 
UwU COSTAWD. >_< O, me! 
>w< KING. ÚwÚ 'sowted ÚwÚ and consorted, :33 contwawy to >w< thy ÚwÚ estabwished :33 pwocwaimed 
edict ÚwÚ and continyent canyon; ^w^ which, OwO with, >_< O, OwO with- >_> but with ÚwÚ this UwU I 
passion to >_> say >_< whewewith-' 
UwU COSTAWD. With :3 a >_< wench. 
;;w;; King. OwO 'with :3 a chiwd of UwU ouw :33 gwandmothew Eve, :3 a OwO femawe; or, fow >w< thy 
^.^ mowe x3 sweet ^.^ undewstanding, :3 a uWu woman. xDD Him I, >_< as x3 my ^-^ evew-esteemed 
>_> duty uWu pwicks ;;w;; me ;;w;; on, uWu have sent to ÚwÚ thee, to receive x3 the >_> meed of 
punyishment, ^.^ by >w< thy x3 sweet ;;w;; Gwace's officer, OwO Antony Dull, :3 a x3 man of 
ÚwÚ good repute, OwO cawwiage, beawing, ÚwÚ and ^w^ estimation.' 
^-^ DUWW. >_> Me, UwU an't UwU shaww uWu pwease uWu you; UwU I ^w^ am OwO Antony OwO Duww. 
>w< KING. ^w^ 'Fow Jaquenetta- UwU so >_> is x3 the weaker vessel called, which UwU I 
apprehended with x3 the >_> afowesaid swain- UwU I >_< keep her >_< as :3 a vessel of 
>w< thy law's >_> fuwy; ÚwÚ and UwU shaww, uWu at x3 the least of >w< thy x3 sweet nyotice, 
;;w;; bwing her to trial. Thinye, uWu in aww compliments of xDD devoted ÚwÚ and 
uWu heawt-buwnying ^.^ heat of >_< duty, 
uWu DON >w< ADWIANyO uWu DE ^.^ AWMADO.' 

xDD BEWOWNyE. This >_> is nyot UwU so weww >_< as UwU I >_> wook'd for, >_> but x3 the best :3 that 
OwO evew UwU I heawd. 
>w< KING. Ay, x3 the best fow x3 the x3 wowst. But, sirrah, >_> what >_> say xDD you to 
:3 this? 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU Siw, UwU I x3 confess x3 the >_< wench. 
>w< KING. Did xDD you hear x3 the >w< pwocwamation? 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I UwU do x3 confess much of x3 the hearing :33 it, >_> but xDD wittwe of x3 the 
UwU mawking of :3 it. 
>w< KING. ^.^ It UwU was :33 pwocwaimed :3 a >_> yeaw's imprisonment to be :33 taken with :3 a 
>_< wench. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I UwU was :33 taken with nyonye, siw; UwU I UwU was :33 taken with :3 a damsew. 
>w< KING. xDD Weww, >w< it UwU was :33 pwocwaimed damsew. 
UwU COSTAWD. This UwU was nyo damsew nyeithew, siw; ^.^ she UwU was :3 a >w< viwgin. 
>w< KING. ^.^ It >_> is UwU so vawied :3 too, fow >w< it UwU was :33 pwocwaimed >w< viwgin. 
UwU COSTAWD. ;;w;; If >w< it uWu wewe, UwU I UwU deny her xDD viwginyity; UwU I UwU was :33 taken with :3 a ^-^ maid. 
>w< KING. This OwO 'maid' nyot serve x3 youw tuwn, sir. 
UwU COSTAWD. This >_< maid xDD wiww serve x3 my tuwn, sir. 
>w< KING. UwU Siw, UwU I xDD wiww pwonyounce x3 youw :3 sentence: xDD you UwU shaww ÚwÚ fast :3 a >_< week 
with :33 bwan ÚwÚ and >_> watew. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I xDD had rather pray :3 a >_> month with UwU mutton ÚwÚ and porridge. 
>w< KING. xDD And ^.^ Don Awmado UwU shaww be x3 youw x3 keepew. 
OwO My Lord Bewownye, >_> see ^.^ him ^-^ dewivewed o'ew; 
xDD And OwO go :33 we, wowds, to put uWu in pwactice :3 that 
>_< Which >_< each to othew hath UwU so >_< stwongwy swown. 
Exeunt ;;w;; KING, :3 WONGAVIWWE, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ DUMAIN 
xDD BEWOWNyE. I'll uWu way x3 my >_> head to xDD any ÚwÚ good :33 man's ^w^ hat 
;;w;; These >w< oaths ÚwÚ and UwU waws xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv >w< an idle xDD scown. 
Siwwah, come :3 on. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I suffew fow x3 the truth, siw; fow true >w< it >_> is UwU I UwU was :33 taken 
with >_> Jaquenyetta, ÚwÚ and Jaquenetta >_> is :3 a true girl; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe 
wewcome x3 the :3 souw >w< cup of prosperity! Affwiction OwO may one day ;;w;; smiwe 
again; ÚwÚ and >w< tiww >w< then, sit uWu thee ;;w;; down, ;;w;; sowwow. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The ^-^ pawk 

Entew ARMADO ÚwÚ and >w< MOTH, :33 his page 

x3 AWMADO. :33 Boy, >_> what xDD sign >_> is >w< it when :3 a x3 man of great ^w^ spiwit gwows 
>_> mewanchowy? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ A great ^w^ sign, ^w^ siw, :3 that ^.^ he xDD wiww wook OwO sad. 
x3 AWMADO. Why, >_> sadnyess >_> is one ÚwÚ and x3 the sewf-same ÚwÚ thing, uWu deaw >_> imp. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. :3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; x3 O Wowd, ^w^ siw, no! 
x3 AWMADO. How ;;w;; canst xDD thou ÚwÚ pawt >_> sadnyess ÚwÚ and UwU mewanchowy, x3 my xDD tendew 
:3 juvenyaw? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ By :3 a ^.^ famiwiaw demonstration of x3 the x3 wowking, x3 my >_< tough ;;w;; signyiow. 
x3 AWMADO. Why >_< tough x3 signyiow? Why >_< tough x3 signyiow? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Why xDD tendew :3 juvenyaw? Why xDD tendew :3 juvenyaw? 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I ^-^ spoke :33 it, xDD tendew juvenal, >_< as :3 a OwO congwuent ;;w;; epitheton 
^.^ appewtainying to >w< thy xDD young uWu days, which ^.^ we OwO may nominate tendew. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. xDD And I, >_< tough signior, >_< as >w< an appertinent ;;w;; titwe to x3 youw ;;w;; owd 
time, which ^.^ we OwO may xDD nyame >_< tough. 
x3 AWMADO. x3 Pwetty ÚwÚ and ^-^ apt. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. How >_> mean UwU you, UwU siw? UwU I pretty, ÚwÚ and x3 my :3 saying uWu apt? ow UwU I :3 apt, ÚwÚ and 
x3 my :3 saying uWu pwetty? 
x3 AWMADO. ^.^ Thou pretty, uWu because ^.^ wittwe. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. >_< Wittwe pretty, uWu because ^.^ wittwe. ÚwÚ Whewefowe uWu apt? 
x3 AWMADO. xDD And >_< thewefowe :3 apt, uWu because quick. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^w^ Speak xDD you ÚwÚ this uWu in x3 my >_< pwaise, ÚwÚ mastew? 
x3 AWMADO. ^w^ In >w< thy ^.^ condign ;;w;; pwaise. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. UwU I xDD wiww praise >w< an eel with x3 the same ;;w;; pwaise. 
x3 AWMADO. :3 that >w< an eel >_> is ingenious? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. :33 That >w< an eel >_> is quick. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I UwU do >_> say xDD thou awt ^w^ quick uWu in uWu answews; xDD thou ;;w;; heat'st x3 my blood. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. UwU I ^w^ am >_< answew'd, sir. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I wuv nyot to be cross'd. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. :3 [Aside] >w< He xDD speaks x3 the mere ^-^ contwawy: cwosses wuv nyot ^.^ him. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I uWu have promised to ^-^ study >w< thwee years with x3 the uWu Duke. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. >_> You OwO may UwU do >w< it uWu in >w< an ^-^ houw, sir. 
x3 AWMADO. Impossible. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. How UwU many >_> is one thrice >_> towd? 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I ^w^ am :33 iww uWu at weck'nying; >w< it fitteth x3 the ^w^ spiwit of :3 a tapster. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. >_> You OwO awe :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU gamestew, sir. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I x3 confess both; ;;w;; they OwO awe both x3 the ^w^ vawnyish of :3 a complete 
man. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. UwU Then UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you ^.^ knyow >w< how much x3 the gwoss >w< sum of OwO deuce-ace 
amounts ;;w;; to. 
x3 AWMADO. ^.^ It xDD doth amount to one ^.^ mowe than UwU two. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. >_< Which x3 the UwU base uWu vuwgaw UwU do caww thwee. 
x3 AWMADO. :3 Twue. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Why, ^w^ siw, >_> is ÚwÚ this xDD such :3 a ^.^ piece of >_< study? Now OwO hewe >_> is >w< thwee 
xDD studied ere ye'ww thrice wink; ÚwÚ and >w< how ^w^ easy >w< it >_> is to put :33 'yeaws' 
to x3 the ;;w;; wowd ^-^ 'thwee,' ÚwÚ and ^-^ study >w< thwee years uWu in >w< two wowds, x3 the 
UwU dancing UwU howse xDD wiww tell OwO you. 
x3 AWMADO. ^-^ A UwU most OwO finye figuwe! 
ÚwÚ MOTH. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv xDD you :3 a x3 ciphew. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I xDD wiww heweupon x3 confess UwU I ^w^ am uWu in love. xDD And >_< as >w< it >_> is UwU base fow 
:3 a soldier to xDD wuv, UwU so ^w^ am UwU I uWu in wuv with :3 a UwU base >_< wench. ;;w;; If :3 dwawing 
x3 my xDD swowd OwO against x3 the humouw of :3 affection ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ dewivew ;;w;; me from 
x3 the >_> wepwobate xDD thought of :33 it, UwU I ^.^ wouwd OwO take Desire pwisonyew, ÚwÚ and 
wansom ^.^ him to xDD any OwO Fwench couwtiew fow :3 a new-devis'd UwU cuwtsy. UwU I 
think ^w^ scown to >_< sigh; uWu methinks UwU I >_> shouwd out-sweaw Cupid. Comfort 
uWu me, ^.^ boy; >_> what great ;;w;; men uWu have :33 been uWu in love? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. >_> Hewcuwes, master. 
x3 AWMADO. :3 Most x3 sweet uWu Hewcuwes! uWu Mowe ÚwÚ authowity, uWu deaw ^-^ boy, xDD nyame mowe; 
x3 and, x3 sweet x3 my child, wet them be ;;w;; men of ÚwÚ good ^-^ wepute ÚwÚ and *twerks* cawwiage. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. >_> Samson, mastew; ^.^ he UwU was :3 a x3 man of ÚwÚ good OwO cawwiage, great 
OwO cawwiage, fow ^.^ he cawwied x3 the :33 town :3 gates on :33 his back ^.^ wike :3 a 
^w^ powtew; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU was uWu in love. 
x3 AWMADO. x3 O UwU weww-knyit UwU Samson! ^.^ stwong-jointed UwU Samson! UwU I UwU do >_< excew uWu thee 
uWu in x3 my rapier >_< as much >_< as xDD thou :33 didst ;;w;; me uWu in ^w^ cawwying gates. UwU I ^w^ am uWu in 
wuv UwU too. Who UwU was ^-^ Samson's xDD wuv, x3 my uWu deaw Moth? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ A ^w^ woman, master. 
x3 AWMADO. Of >_> what >_< compwexion? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Of aww x3 the >w< fouw, ow x3 the >_< thwee, ow x3 the >_> two, ow one of x3 the 
fouw. 
x3 AWMADO. Teww ;;w;; me ^-^ pwecisewy of >_> what compwexion. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Of x3 the sea-watew xDD gween, sir. 
x3 AWMADO. Is :3 that one of x3 the fouw uWu compwexions? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ;;w;; As UwU I uWu have wead, siw; ÚwÚ and x3 the best of them UwU too. 
x3 AWMADO. Green, :33 indeed, >_> is x3 the colour of wuvws; >_> but to uWu have :3 a wuv 
of :3 that :33 cowouw, uWu methinks :33 Samson xDD had UwU smaww reason fow :3 it. >w< He 
x3 suwewy affected her fow her >_< wit. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^.^ It UwU was >_> so, siw; fow ^.^ she xDD had :3 a green >_< wit. 
x3 AWMADO. OwO My wuv >_> is UwU most UwU immacuwate ^-^ white ÚwÚ and red. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. :3 Most macuwate thoughts, ^.^ mastew, OwO awe >_< mask'd :33 undew xDD such 
xDD cowouws. 
x3 AWMADO. Define, >w< definye, well-educated infant. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. OwO My father's wit x3 my ;;w;; mothew's >_> tongue xDD assist me! 
x3 AWMADO. ÚwÚ Sweet invocation of :3 a child; UwU most pretty, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ patheticaw! 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ;;w;; If ^.^ she be UwU made of ^-^ white ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wed, 
:3 Hew :33 fauwts xDD wiww ^w^ nye'ew be x3 knyown; 
For ;;w;; bwushing >_> cheeks ^.^ by :33 fauwts OwO awe bwed, 
xDD And OwO feaws ^.^ by pawe ^-^ white :3 shown. 
UwU Then >_> if ^.^ she ;;w;; feaw, ow be to bwame, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this xDD you UwU shaww nyot know; 
For still her >_> cheeks possess x3 the same 
>_< Which OwO nyative ^.^ she xDD doth owe. 
^-^ A uWu dangewous ^-^ whyme, ^.^ mastew, OwO against x3 the reason of ^-^ white ÚwÚ and red. 
x3 AWMADO. Is there nyot :3 a uWu bawwad, ^-^ boy, of x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; Beggaw? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. uWu The wowwd UwU was xDD vewy guiwty of xDD such :3 a >w< bawwad x3 some >w< thwee uWu ages 
UwU since; >_> but UwU I think nyow UwU 'tis nyot to be xDD found; ow >_> if >w< it uWu wewe, >w< it 
^.^ wouwd :3 nyeithew serve fow x3 the wwiting nor x3 the x3 tunye. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I xDD wiww uWu have :3 that x3 subject x3 nyewwy ^-^ wwit uWu o'ew, :3 that UwU I OwO may 
^w^ exampwe x3 my ^-^ digwession ^.^ by x3 some ^-^ mighty :3 pwecedent. :33 Boy, UwU I UwU do wuv 
:3 that countwy girl :3 that UwU I >_> took uWu in x3 the ^-^ pawk with x3 the wationyaw >_> hind 
>w< Costawd; ^.^ she >_> desewves well. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; To be ;;w;; whipt; ÚwÚ and yet :3 a xDD bettew wuv than x3 my master. 
x3 AWMADO. xDD Sing, ^.^ boy; x3 my ^w^ spiwit gwows x3 heavy uWu in love. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. xDD And ^w^ that's great marvel, >w< woving :3 a >w< wight >_< wench. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I say, ;;w;; sing. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. OwO Fowbeaw >w< tiww ÚwÚ this >_< company be past. 

Entew ^w^ DUWW, :33 COSTAWD, ÚwÚ and >w< JAQUENyETTA 

^-^ DUWW. UwU Siw, x3 the Duke's :3 pweasuwe >_> is :3 that xDD you >_< keep Costard :33 safe; ÚwÚ and 
xDD you ^w^ must suffew ^.^ him to OwO take nyo delight nor nyo ^.^ penyance; >_> but xDD 'a 
^w^ must ÚwÚ fast >w< thwee OwO days :3 a x3 week. For ÚwÚ this damsew, UwU I ^w^ must >_< keep her uWu at 
x3 the park; ^.^ she >_> is UwU awwow'd fow x3 the day-woman. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ betway mysewf with bwushing. Maid! 
JAQUENyETTA. ^-^ Man! 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I xDD wiww x3 visit uWu thee uWu at x3 the ;;w;; wodge. 
JAQUENyETTA. >w< That's hereby. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 whewe >w< it >_> is situate. 
JAQUENyETTA. Wowd, >w< how uWu wise xDD you UwU awe! 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I xDD wiww tell uWu thee wondews. 
JAQUENyETTA. With :3 that ^.^ face? 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I wuv thee. 
JAQUENyETTA. ^w^ So UwU I heard xDD you :3 say. 
x3 AWMADO. xDD And >_> so, farewell. 
JAQUENyETTA. Faiw >_> weathew ÚwÚ aftew you! 
^-^ DUWW. ^.^ Come, >_> Jaquenyetta, xDD away. uWu Exit with >w< JAQUENyETTA 
x3 AWMADO. uWu Viwwain, xDD thou shalt ÚwÚ fast fow >w< thy :3 offences ere xDD thou be 
^.^ pawdonyed. 
UwU COSTAWD. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, UwU I UwU hope when UwU I UwU do >w< it UwU I UwU shaww UwU do >w< it on :3 a full 
:33 stomach. 
x3 AWMADO. ^.^ Thou shalt be >_> heaviwy ;;w;; punyished. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ mowe bound to xDD you than x3 youw fewwows, fow ;;w;; they OwO awe >_> but 
>w< wightwy UwU wewawded. 
x3 AWMADO. ^.^ Take OwO away ÚwÚ this villain; shut ^.^ him :33 up. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^.^ Come, xDD you twansgwessing :33 swave, xDD away. 
UwU COSTAWD. Let ;;w;; me nyot be x3 pent up, siw; UwU I xDD wiww OwO fast, ^.^ being loose. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. :3 Nyo, siw; :3 that :3 wewe OwO fast, ÚwÚ and loose. ^.^ Thou shalt to x3 pwison. 
UwU COSTAWD. xDD Weww, >_> if OwO evew UwU I UwU do >_> see x3 the ^.^ mewwy OwO days of ^w^ desowation :3 that UwU I 
uWu have uWu seen, x3 some UwU shaww ^-^ see. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. >_> What UwU shaww x3 some see? 
UwU COSTAWD. Nyay, uWu nyothing, >_< Mastew UwU Moth, >_> but >_> what ;;w;; they wook ^w^ upon. ^.^ It >_> is 
nyot fow OwO pwisonyews to be ^w^ too silent uWu in uWu theiw wowds, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> say OwO nyothing. UwU I >_> thank ^w^ God UwU I uWu have >_< as xDD wittwe uWu patience >_< as 
anyothew ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU I ^.^ can be ÚwÚ quiet. 
Exeunt ^.^ MOTH ÚwÚ and :3 COSTAWD 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I UwU do affect x3 the xDD vewy ground, which >_> is base, :3 whewe her >w< shoe, 
which >_> is basew, UwU guided ^.^ by her xDD foot, which >_> is basest, xDD doth >_< twead. 
UwU I UwU shaww be forsworn- which >_> is :3 a great :33 awgument of :33 fawsehood- >_> if UwU I 
love. xDD And >w< how ^.^ can :3 that be true wuv which >_> is :3 fawsewy ^.^ attempted? 
Wuv >_> is :3 a OwO famiwiaw; Wuv >_> is :3 a deviw. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo eviw ÚwÚ angew >_> but 
Love. ÚwÚ Yet UwU was :33 Samson UwU so x3 tempted, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he xDD had >w< an :3 excewwent 
>_> stwength; yet UwU was Solomon UwU so :3 seduced, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he xDD had :3 a xDD vewy ÚwÚ good >_< wit. 
uWu Cupid's ÚwÚ butt-shaft >_> is ^w^ too x3 hawd fow >_< Hewcuwes' club, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe 
^w^ too much ^w^ odds fow :3 a UwU Spanyiawd's wapiew. uWu The xDD fiwst ÚwÚ and second cause 
xDD wiww nyot serve x3 my >_< tuwn; x3 the ^-^ passado ^.^ he UwU wespects >_> nyot, x3 the ^.^ duewwo 
^.^ he wegawds x3 nyot; :33 his xDD disgwace >_> is to be ^w^ cawwed ^-^ boy, >_> but :33 his :3 gwowy 
>_> is to uWu subdue ^.^ men. :3 Adieu, :3 vawouw; x3 wust, OwO wapiew; be still, uWu dwum; 
fow x3 youw >_> manyagew >_> is uWu in love; >w< yea, ^.^ he loveth. ;;w;; Assist uWu me, x3 some 
extemporal god of ^-^ whyme, fow UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe UwU I UwU shaww turn sonnyet. 
;;w;; Devise, >_> wit; wwite, ^.^ pen; fow UwU I ^w^ am fow whole volumes uWu in OwO fowio. 
uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The ^-^ pawk 

Entew x3 the >_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE, with >w< thwee :33 attending x3 wadies, 
WOSAWINyE, ;;w;; MAWIA, >_> KATHAWINyE, ^.^ BOYET, ÚwÚ and >w< two othew ;;w;; WOWDS 

uWu BOYET. >_> Nyow, UwU madam, ^.^ summon x3 up x3 youw deawest spiwits. 
Consider who x3 the ^w^ King x3 youw >w< fathew OwO sends, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he OwO sends, ÚwÚ and UwU what's :33 his ^-^ embassy: 
>_< Youwsewf, hewd >_< pwecious uWu in x3 the OwO wowwd's esteem, 
;;w;; To parley with x3 the sole >w< inhewitow 
Of aww >w< pewfections :3 that :3 a x3 man OwO may owe, 
^.^ Matchwess Navarre; x3 the pwea of nyo less >_> weight 
Than :33 Aquitainye, :3 a ^.^ dowwy fow :3 a >w< queen. 
^w^ Be nyow >_< as prodigal of aww uWu deaw xDD gwace 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ Nyatuwe UwU was uWu in x3 making uWu gwaces deaw, 
x3 When ^.^ she uWu did starve x3 the general wowwd :3 beside 
xDD And pwodigawwy uWu gave them aww to OwO you. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^-^ Good Lord :3 Boyet, x3 my >w< beauty, ^w^ though >_> but mean, 
Nyeeds nyot x3 the painted :33 fwouwish of x3 youw ;;w;; pwaise. 
^w^ Beauty >_> is xDD bought ^.^ by ^w^ judgment of x3 the >_< eye, 
ÚwÚ Nyot utt'red ^.^ by UwU base sawe of x3 chapmen's UwU tongues; 
UwU I ^w^ am less OwO pwoud to hear xDD you tell x3 my ^.^ wowth 
Than xDD you much ^.^ wiwwing to be :3 counted uWu wise 
^w^ In ^.^ spending x3 youw wit uWu in x3 the praise of ^w^ minye. 
OwO But nyow to :3 task x3 the taskew: ÚwÚ good :3 Boyet, 
>_> You OwO awe nyot ÚwÚ ignyowant all-telling fame 
^-^ Doth noise ^.^ abwoad Navarre hath UwU made :3 a ^w^ vow, 
Tiww >w< painfuw ^-^ study UwU shaww :3 outweaw >w< thwee years, 
No OwO woman OwO may appwoach :33 his silent >_< couwt. 
Therefore to's seemeth >w< it :3 a needful course, 
^.^ Befowe ^.^ we enter :33 his fowbidden ^.^ gates, 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow :33 his pweasuwe; ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that UwU behawf, 
Bowd of x3 youw ^w^ wowthinyess, ^.^ we :3 singwe xDD you 
;;w;; As UwU ouw ^-^ best-moving >w< faiw UwU sowicitow. 
Teww ^.^ him x3 the daughter of x3 the ^w^ King of >_< Fwance, 
On sewious business, UwU cwaving ^w^ quick >_> dispatch, 
:3 Impowtunyes xDD pewsonyaw conference with :33 his ^-^ Gwace. 
Haste, :33 signyify UwU so >_> much; OwO whiwe ^.^ we >w< attend, 
Wike UwU humbwe-visag'd >_> suitows, :33 his xDD high :33 wiww. 
uWu BOYET. Pwoud of employment, ^w^ wiwwingwy UwU I ÚwÚ go. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. All >_< pwide >_> is ^.^ wiwwing pride, ÚwÚ and >_> youws >_> is :3 so. 
uWu Exit UwU BOYET 
Who OwO awe x3 the ^.^ votawies, x3 my >w< woving wowds, 
:33 That OwO awe vow-fellows with ÚwÚ this virtuous xDD duke? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Lord >_> Wongaviwwe >_> is onye. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. xDD Knyow xDD you x3 the man? 
MARIA. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 him, x3 madam; uWu at :3 a ^.^ mawwiage OwO feast, 
Between Lord Perigort ÚwÚ and x3 the beauteous heir 
Of ^-^ Jaques Fawconbwidge, solemnized 
^w^ In x3 Nyowmandy, saw UwU I ÚwÚ this Longaville. 
^-^ A x3 man of suvweign xDD pawts, x3 peewwess xDD esteem'd, 
Weww :3 fitted uWu in UwU awts, glorious uWu in arms; 
Nyothing x3 becomes ^.^ him :33 iww :3 that ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd well. 
uWu The >w< onwy UwU soiw of :33 his >w< faiw viwtue's >w< gwoss, 
;;w;; If viwtue's gloss xDD wiww stain with xDD any ^w^ soiw, 
Is :3 a ^-^ shawp wit match'd with ^w^ too >w< bwunt :3 a :33 wiww, 
>_< Whose UwU edge hath powew to :3 cut, x3 whose xDD wiww still wills 
^.^ It >_> shouwd >_< nyonye ^-^ spawe :3 that come within :33 his UwU powew. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ;;w;; Some ^.^ mewwy ^w^ mocking uWu wowd, bewike; :3 is't so? 
MARIA. ^-^ They >_> say UwU so UwU most :3 that UwU most :33 his humours :33 knyow. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. >w< Such ;;w;; showt-wiv'd :33 wits UwU do uWu withew >_< as ;;w;; they ^w^ gwow. 
Who OwO awe x3 the >w< west? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. uWu The xDD young ÚwÚ Dumain, :3 a uWu weww-accompwish'd youth, 
Of aww :3 that viwtue wuv fow viwtue xDD wuvd; 
:3 Most powew to UwU do UwU most >w< hawm, least x3 knyowing UwU iww, 
For ^.^ he hath wit to >_< make >w< an :33 iww xDD shape UwU good, 
xDD And xDD shape to x3 win xDD gwace ^w^ though ^.^ he xDD had nyo >_< wit. 
UwU I saw ^.^ him uWu at x3 the >w< Duke Alencon's once; 
xDD And much ^w^ too xDD wittwe of :3 that ÚwÚ good UwU I saw 
Is x3 my wepowt to :33 his great worthiness. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ÚwÚ Anyothew of these ÚwÚ students uWu at :3 that time 
Was there with :3 him, >_> if UwU I uWu have heard :3 a truth. 
>_> Bewownye ;;w;; they caww him; >_> but :3 a mewwiew ^w^ man, 
OwO Within x3 the wimit of >_< becoming :33 miwth, 
UwU I >_< nyevew xDD spent >w< an hour's tawk uWu withaw. 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ eye begets ;;w;; occasion fow :33 his ^w^ wit, 
For every :33 object :3 that x3 the one xDD doth catch 
uWu The othew tuwns to :3 a x3 miwth-moving ^.^ jest, 
>_< Which :33 his >w< faiw ;;w;; tongue, uWu conceit's expositor, 
UwU Dewivews uWu in xDD such ^-^ apt ÚwÚ and >_> gwacious wowds 
:33 That ^-^ aged OwO eaws :33 pway ^w^ twuant uWu at :33 his tales, 
xDD And :3 youngew hearings OwO awe quite ravished; 
^w^ So x3 sweet ÚwÚ and vowubwe >_> is :33 his discourse. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 my UwU wadies! ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they aww uWu in xDD wuv, 
:33 That every one her UwU own hath garnished 
With xDD such bedecking ownyaments of xDD pwaise? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. :3 Hewe x3 comes uWu Boyet. 

^.^ We-entew UwU BOYET 

>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. >_> Nyow, >_> what ^w^ admittance, xDD wowd? 
uWu BOYET. Navarre xDD had ÚwÚ nyotice of x3 youw >w< faiw approach, 
xDD And ^.^ he ÚwÚ and :33 his ^.^ competitows uWu in ^-^ oath 
^.^ Wewe aww address'd to :3 meet UwU you, ^-^ gentwe UwU wady, 
^.^ Befowe UwU I >_< came. OwO Mawwy, OwO thus much UwU I uWu have xDD weawnt: 
>w< He rather means to uWu wodge xDD you uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd, 
Wike one :3 that x3 comes OwO hewe to x3 besiege :33 his xDD couwt, 
Than >_> seek :3 a >w< dispensation fow :33 his ;;w;; oath, 
;;w;; To wet xDD you enter :33 his ^.^ unpeopwed ÚwÚ house. 
;;w;; [The >w< WADIES-IN-WAITING uWu mask] 

Entew ;;w;; KING, :3 WONGAVIWWE, DUMAIN, ^-^ BEWOWNyE, 
ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

:3 Hewe x3 comes Navarre. 
>w< KING. Faiw xDD Pwincess, wewcome to x3 the court of Navarre. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. 'Fair' UwU I UwU give xDD you back again; ÚwÚ and xDD 'wewcome' UwU I 
uWu have nyot >_> yet. uWu The ÚwÚ woof of ÚwÚ this court >_> is ^w^ too xDD high to be >_< youws, ÚwÚ and 
wewcome to x3 the uWu wide fields ^w^ too UwU base to be ^w^ minye. 
>w< KING. >_> You UwU shaww be ;;w;; wewcome, UwU madam, to x3 my >_< couwt. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. UwU I xDD wiww be wewcome :33 then; ÚwÚ conduct ;;w;; me xDD thithew. 
>w< KING. >w< Heaw uWu me, uWu deaw ;;w;; wady: UwU I uWu have sworn >w< an >_> oath- 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Our xDD Wady OwO hewp x3 my ^.^ wowd! ^-^ He'ww be forsworn. 
>w< KING. ÚwÚ Nyot fow x3 the ^w^ wowwd, >w< faiw UwU madam, ^.^ by x3 my :33 wiww. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Why, xDD wiww UwU shaww bweak uWu it; :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and >_< nyothing 
ewse. 
>w< KING. uWu Youw >w< wadyship >_> is ÚwÚ ignyowant >_> what >w< it >w< is. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^.^ Wewe x3 my ;;w;; wowd >_> so, :33 his ÚwÚ ignyowance :3 wewe >_< wise, 
Whewe nyow :33 his >_< knyowwedge ^w^ must ^-^ pwuv UwU ignyowance. 
UwU I hear x3 youw Gwace hath sworn x3 out ÚwÚ house-keeping. 
'Tis deadwy x3 sin to >_< keep :3 that ;;w;; oath, x3 my uWu wowd, 
xDD And x3 sin to bweak :3 it. 
OwO But UwU pawdon uWu me, UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too ^.^ sudden ^.^ bowd; 
;;w;; To >_< teach :3 a ÚwÚ teachew :33 iww beseemeth x3 me. 
Vouchsafe to ^w^ wead x3 the OwO puwpose of x3 my uWu coming, 
xDD And ;;w;; suddenwy wesowve ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my OwO suit. >_> [Giving :3 a ÚwÚ papew] 
>w< KING. uWu Madam, UwU I :33 wiww, >_> if ;;w;; suddenwy UwU I may. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. YOU Will x3 the :33 soonyew :3 that UwU I :3 wewe away, 
For you'ww ^-^ pwuv >w< pewjuw'd >_> if xDD you >_< make ;;w;; me >_< stay. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Did nyot UwU I UwU dance with xDD you uWu in Brabant once? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. Did nyot UwU I UwU dance with xDD you uWu in Brabant once? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you ^.^ did. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. How >_> nyeedwess UwU was >w< it xDD then to ^w^ ask x3 the uWu question! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> You ^w^ must nyot be UwU so quick. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. 'Tis ^-^ wong of UwU you, :3 that ^w^ spuw ;;w;; me with xDD such :3 questions. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. uWu Youw wit ^-^ 's ^w^ too >_> hot, >w< it ;;w;; speeds ^w^ too OwO fast, 'twill :3 tiwe. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ÚwÚ Nyot >w< tiww >w< it OwO weave x3 the widew uWu in x3 the OwO miwe. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> What time ^.^ o' >w< day? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. uWu The >_> houw :3 that foows >_> shouwd xDD ask. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Now >w< faiw befaww x3 youw mask! 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. Faiw faww x3 the OwO face >w< it OwO cuvws! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. xDD And >_> send xDD you UwU many ^-^ wuvws! 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. >_> Amen, UwU so xDD you be none. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Nyay, xDD then xDD wiww UwU I be ;;w;; gonye. 
>w< KING. uWu Madam, x3 youw >w< fathew OwO hewe xDD doth :33 intimate 
uWu The payment of :3 a :3 hundwed thousand cwowns; 
uWu Being >_> but x3 the one half of >w< an xDD entiwe >w< sum 
Disbuwsed ^.^ by x3 my >w< fathew uWu in :33 his waws. 
OwO But >_> say :3 that ^.^ he ow :33 we, >_< as :3 nyeithew have, 
xDD Weceiv'd :3 that sum, yet there remains unpaid 
^-^ A :3 hundwed thousand >_> mowe, uWu in surety of x3 the ^w^ which, 
x3 Onye ÚwÚ pawt of OwO Aquitainye >_> is bound to us, 
Awthough nyot vawued to x3 the money's uWu wowth. 
;;w;; If xDD then x3 the ^w^ King x3 youw >w< fathew xDD wiww restore 
OwO But :3 that one half which >_> is >_< unsatisfied, 
We xDD wiww UwU give x3 up UwU ouw >w< wight uWu in :33 Aquitainye, 
xDD And howd >w< faiw ÚwÚ fwiendship with :33 his >_< Majesty. 
OwO But :3 that, >w< it seems, ^.^ he xDD wittwe purposeth, 
For OwO hewe ^.^ he xDD doth ;;w;; demand to uWu have wepaid 
^-^ A :3 hundwed thousand cwowns; ÚwÚ and nyot ;;w;; demands, 
On payment of :3 a :3 hundwed thousand :33 cwowns, 
;;w;; To uWu have :33 his ;;w;; titwe ^w^ wive uWu in ÚwÚ Aquitainye; 
>_< Which ^.^ we much rather xDD had ÚwÚ depawt withaw, 
xDD And uWu have x3 the monyey ^.^ by UwU ouw >w< fathew OwO went, 
Than OwO Aquitainye UwU so ;;w;; gewded >_< as >w< it >w< is. 
>_< Deaw xDD Pwincess, :3 wewe nyot :33 his uWu wequests UwU so uWu faw 
Fwom OwO weason's yielding, x3 youw >w< faiw self >_> shouwd >_< make 
^-^ A yiewding uWu 'gainst x3 some reason uWu in x3 my UwU bweast, 
xDD And OwO go weww ^-^ satisfied to Fwance ;;w;; again. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. >_> You UwU do x3 the ^w^ King x3 my >w< fathew ^w^ too much wwong, 
xDD And wrong x3 the >_< weputation of x3 youw :33 nyame, 
^w^ In UwU so ;;w;; unseeming to x3 confess :33 weceipt 
Of :3 that which hath UwU so x3 faithfuwwy :33 been paid. 
>w< KING. UwU I UwU do ^w^ pwotest UwU I >_< nyevew heard of uWu it; 
^.^ And, >_> if xDD you ^-^ pwuv :33 it, I'll wepay >w< it back 
:33 Ow yield x3 up Aquitaine. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. We ;;w;; awwest x3 youw OwO wowd. 
:3 Boyet, xDD you ^.^ can produce :33 acquittances 
For xDD such :3 a >w< sum from >_> speciaw ^w^ officews 
Of >_> Chawwes :33 his :33 fathew. 
>w< KING. Satisfy ;;w;; me :3 so. 
uWu BOYET. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, x3 the packet >_> is nyot come, 
Whewe :3 that ÚwÚ and othew specialties OwO awe bound; 
>_< To-mowwow xDD you UwU shaww uWu have :3 a ^.^ sight of OwO them. 
>w< KING. ^.^ It UwU shaww x3 suffice OwO me; uWu at which >w< intewview 
All xDD wibewaw reason UwU I xDD wiww yield UwU unto. 
>w< Meantime receive xDD such wewcome uWu at x3 my uWu hand 
;;w;; As honyouw, ^-^ without ^w^ bweach of honyouw, OwO may 
^-^ Make xDD tendew of to >w< thy true worthiness. 
>_> You OwO may nyot come, >w< faiw xDD Pwincess, within x3 my gates; 
OwO But OwO hewe ^-^ without xDD you UwU shaww be UwU so weceiv'd 
;;w;; As xDD you UwU shaww >w< deem >_> youwsewf ^w^ wodg'd uWu in x3 my uWu heawt, 
;;w;; Though UwU so >w< denyied >w< faiw uWu hawbouw uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ house. 
uWu Youw UwU own ÚwÚ good >_< thoughts UwU excuse uWu me, ÚwÚ and farewell. 
>_< To-mowwow UwU shaww ^.^ we x3 visit xDD you ;;w;; again. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ÚwÚ Sweet ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and >w< faiw desiwes consort x3 youw 
Grace! 
>w< KING. x3 Thy UwU own ÚwÚ wish ÚwÚ wish UwU I uWu thee uWu in every ;;w;; pwace. 
uWu Exit with ^.^ attendants 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Lady, UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ commend xDD you to >_< minye UwU own ;;w;; heawt. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. >_> Pway UwU you, UwU do x3 my >_< commendations; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd be uWu gwad to >_> see :3 it. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you heard >w< it gwoan. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Is x3 the >w< foow >_< sick? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. :3 Sick uWu at x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. xDD Awack, wet >w< it blood. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Wouwd :3 that UwU do >w< it good? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. OwO My ;;w;; physic ;;w;; says ^.^ 'ay.' 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Will YOU >w< pwick't with x3 youw ÚwÚ eye? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. No UwU point, with x3 my x3 knyife. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> Nyow, ^w^ God :3 save >w< thy wife! 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. xDD And >_> youws from ^-^ wong wiving! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot xDD stay thanksgiving. x3 [Wetiwing] 
^-^ DUMAIN. UwU Siw, UwU I pray UwU you, :3 a wowd: >_> what uWu wady >_> is :3 that >w< same? 
uWu BOYET. uWu The heir of Awencon, ÚwÚ Kathawinye her nyame. 
^-^ DUMAIN. ^-^ A OwO gawwant :33 wady! ^w^ Monsieuw, ^-^ fawe xDD you well. uWu Exit 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. UwU I :33 beseech xDD you :3 a wowd: >_> what >_> is ^.^ she uWu in x3 the white? 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ A OwO woman >_< sometimes, >w< an xDD you saw her uWu in x3 the light. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. Pewchance >w< wight uWu in x3 the light. UwU I ^.^ desiwe her nyame. 
uWu BOYET. :33 She hath >_> but one fow ^w^ hewsewf; to ^.^ desiwe :3 that :3 wewe :3 a ;;w;; shame. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. >_> Pway UwU you, ^w^ siw, x3 whose daughter? 
uWu BOYET. :3 Hew mother's, UwU I uWu have heawd. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. >_> God's >_> bwessing on x3 youw >_< beawd! 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, be nyot UwU offended; 
:33 She >_> is >w< an heir of Falconbridge. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. Nyay, x3 my ^.^ chowew >_> is ended. 
:33 She >_> is :3 a UwU most x3 sweet >_> wady. 
uWu BOYET. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ unwike, siw; :3 that OwO may >w< be. uWu Exit OwO WONGAVIWWE 
xDD BEWOWNyE. x3 What's her xDD nyame uWu in x3 the cap? 
uWu BOYET. x3 Wosawinye, ^.^ by ÚwÚ good ^-^ hap. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Is ^.^ she >w< wedded ow no? 
uWu BOYET. ;;w;; To her :33 wiww, ^w^ siw, ow :3 so. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> You OwO awe ;;w;; wewcome, siw; ^w^ adieu! 
uWu BOYET. UwU Faweweww to uWu me, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and wewcome to OwO you. 
uWu Exit xDD BEWOWNyE. :3 WADIES Unmask 
MARIA. :33 That >w< wast >_> is Bewownye, x3 the ^.^ mewwy mad-cap wowd; 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a ;;w;; wowd with ^.^ him >_> but :3 a ;;w;; jest. 
uWu BOYET. xDD And every xDD jest >_> but :3 a OwO wowd. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^.^ It UwU was weww donye of xDD you to OwO take ^.^ him uWu at :33 his 
OwO wowd. 
uWu BOYET. UwU I UwU was >_< as ^.^ wiwwing to uWu gwappwe >_< as ^.^ he UwU was to board. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. Two :3 hot sheeps, >w< mawwy! 
uWu BOYET. xDD And ^-^ whewefowe nyot >_> ships? 
No ;;w;; sheep, x3 sweet lamb, ^w^ unwess ^.^ we >w< feed on x3 youw x3 wips. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. >_> You sheep ÚwÚ and UwU I ;;w;; pastuwe- UwU shaww :3 that finish x3 the UwU jest? 
uWu BOYET. ^w^ So xDD you gwant pastuwe fow x3 me. >w< [Offewing to :3 kiss :3 hew] 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, ^-^ gentwe beast; 
OwO My lips OwO awe nyo ^w^ common, ^w^ though sevewaw ;;w;; they >w< be. 
uWu BOYET. :3 Bewonging to >w< whom? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ;;w;; To x3 my fowtunyes ÚwÚ and x3 me. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^-^ Good :33 wits xDD wiww be jangling; but, ÚwÚ gentwes, 
agree; 
This ÚwÚ civiw >w< waw of :33 wits :3 wewe much xDD bettew used 
On Navarre ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ book-men, fow OwO hewe UwU 'tis xDD abused. 
uWu BOYET. ;;w;; If x3 my ^.^ obsewvation, which xDD vewy seldom lies, 
^-^ By x3 the heart's still >_> whetowic :3 discwosed with ^w^ eyes, 
^w^ Deceive ;;w;; me nyot now, Navarre >_> is UwU infected. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. With UwU what? 
uWu BOYET. With :3 that which ^.^ we ^w^ wuvws x3 entitwe :3 'affected.' 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. uWu Youw uWu weason? 
uWu BOYET. Why, aww :33 his behaviours uWu did >_< make uWu theiw uWu wetiwe 
;;w;; To x3 the court of :33 his >_< eye, ^.^ peeping thorough desiwe. 
ÚwÚ His uWu heawt, ^.^ wike >w< an >_> agate, with x3 youw pwint ^w^ impwessed, 
Pwoud with :33 his ÚwÚ fowm, uWu in :33 his ^w^ eye >_< pwide ^-^ expwessed; 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; tongue, aww ;;w;; impatient to speak ÚwÚ and nyot see, 
Did stumble with ^.^ haste uWu in :33 his :3 eyesight to be; 
All :33 senses to :3 that sense uWu did >_< make uWu theiw wepaiw, 
;;w;; To x3 feew >w< onwy ^w^ wooking on >_> faiwest of >_< faiw. 
:33 Methought aww :33 his :33 senses :3 wewe :3 wock'd uWu in :33 his >_< eye, 
;;w;; As :3 jewews uWu in >_> cwystaw fow x3 some >_> pwince to ^-^ buy; 
UwU Who, x3 tend'wing uWu theiw UwU own ^.^ wowth from :3 whewe ;;w;; they :3 wewe glass'd, 
Did :33 point xDD you to UwU buy ÚwÚ them, :3 awong >_< as xDD you xDD pass'd. 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ face's UwU own uWu mawgent uWu did quote xDD such uWu amazes 
:33 That aww eyes saw :33 his eyes ^-^ enchanted with x3 gazes. 
I'll UwU give xDD you OwO Aquitainye ÚwÚ and aww :3 that >_> is his, 
^-^ An xDD you UwU give ^.^ him fow x3 my ÚwÚ sake >_> but one >w< woving >w< kiss. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^.^ Come, to UwU ouw paviwion. x3 Boyet >_> is dispos'd. 
uWu BOYET. OwO But to speak :3 that uWu in wowds which :33 his ^w^ eye hath discwos'd; 
UwU I >w< onwy uWu have UwU made :3 a xDD mouth of :33 his >_< eye, 
^-^ By adding :3 a >_> tongue which UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD wiww nyot xDD wie. 
MARIA. ^.^ Thou awt >w< an ;;w;; owd wuv-mongew, ÚwÚ and xDD speakest skiwfuwwy. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. >w< He >_> is uWu Cupid's ÚwÚ gwandfathew, ÚwÚ and learns nyews of ^.^ him. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. UwU Then UwU was :3 Venyus ^.^ wike her mothew; fow her >w< fathew >_> is >_> but 
>w< gwim. 
uWu BOYET. Do xDD you heaw, x3 my ^-^ mad wenches? 
MARIA. No. 
uWu BOYET. What, :33 then; UwU do xDD you see? 
MARIA. Ay, UwU ouw uWu way to be ;;w;; gonye. 
uWu BOYET. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too x3 hawd fow x3 me. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The ^-^ pawk 

Entew ARMADO ÚwÚ and ^.^ MOTH 

x3 AWMADO. ;;w;; Wawbwe, child; >_< make passionyate x3 my sense of ;;w;; heawing. 
;;w;; [MOTH ^-^ sings :3 Concowinyew] 
x3 AWMADO. ÚwÚ Sweet air! ^w^ Go, :33 tendewnyess of years, OwO take ÚwÚ this >_> key, UwU give 
>w< enwawgement to x3 the x3 swain, ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him ^-^ festinyatewy hithew; UwU I ^w^ must 
:33 empwoy ^.^ him uWu in :3 a >_> wettew to x3 my love. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ Mastew, xDD wiww xDD you x3 win x3 youw wuv with :3 a OwO Fwench brawl? 
x3 AWMADO. How meanyest thou? x3 Bwawwing uWu in :3 Fwench? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. :3 Nyo, x3 my complete mastew; >_> but to UwU jig x3 off :3 a tune uWu at x3 the >_< tongue's 
^w^ end, uWu canyawy to >w< it with x3 youw ^.^ feet, humouw >w< it with ;;w;; tuwnying x3 up x3 youw 
xDD eyewids, x3 sigh :3 a ^-^ nyote ÚwÚ and ^.^ sing :3 a :3 nyote, ÚwÚ sometime ^w^ thwough x3 the 
throat, >_< as >_> if xDD you ^.^ swawwowed wuv with >_< singing xDD wuv, ÚwÚ sometime 
^w^ thwough x3 the nose, >_< as >_> if xDD you snuff'd x3 up wuv ^.^ by smewwing xDD wuv, 
with x3 youw ^w^ hat >_> penthouse-wike ^-^ o'ew x3 the >_> shop of x3 youw ^w^ eyes, with 
x3 youw :3 awms cwoss'd on x3 youw >_< thin-bewwy ÚwÚ doubwet, ^.^ wike :3 a uWu wabbit on :3 a 
>_> spit, ow x3 youw ^.^ hands uWu in x3 youw pocket, ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man ÚwÚ aftew x3 the ;;w;; owd 
UwU painting; ÚwÚ and >_< keep nyot ^w^ too ^-^ wong uWu in one ÚwÚ tunye, >_> but :3 a snip ÚwÚ and xDD away. 
;;w;; These OwO awe compwements, these OwO awe xDD humouws; these ÚwÚ betway UwU nyice 
:33 wenches, :3 that ^.^ wouwd be ÚwÚ betwayed ^-^ without :3 these; ÚwÚ and >_< make them ;;w;; men 
of nyote- UwU do xDD you ^-^ nyote ;;w;; me?- :3 that UwU most OwO awe affected to :3 these. 
x3 AWMADO. How x3 hast xDD thou puwchased ÚwÚ this xDD expewience? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ By x3 my ÚwÚ penny of uWu obsewvation. 
x3 AWMADO. OwO But >w< O- >_> but >w< O- 
ÚwÚ MOTH. uWu The >_< hobby-howse >_> is :3 fowgot. 
x3 AWMADO. Caww'st xDD thou x3 my wuv ;;w;; 'hobby-howse'? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. :3 Nyo, mastew; x3 the >_< hobby-howse >_> is >_> but :3 a cowt, ÚwÚ and x3 youw wuv 
^-^ pewhaps :3 a xDD hacknyey. OwO But uWu have xDD you fowgot x3 youw love? 
x3 AWMADO. Awmost UwU I xDD had. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ Nyegwigent >_< student! :3 weawn her ^.^ by ;;w;; heawt. 
x3 AWMADO. ^-^ By >_< heawt ÚwÚ and uWu in uWu heawt, uWu boy. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. xDD And x3 out of uWu heawt, mastew; aww UwU those >w< thwee UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ pwuv. 
x3 AWMADO. >_> What wiwt xDD thou prove? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ A ^w^ man, >_> if UwU I ÚwÚ wive; ÚwÚ and uWu this, UwU by, x3 in, ÚwÚ and without, ;;w;; upon x3 the 
^.^ instant. ^-^ By >_< heawt xDD you wuv hew, uWu because x3 youw >_< heawt ;;w;; cannyot come ^.^ by 
>w< hew; uWu in >_< heawt xDD you wuv hew, uWu because x3 youw >_< heawt >_> is uWu in wuv with 
>w< hew; ÚwÚ and x3 out of >_< heawt xDD you wuv hew, ^.^ being x3 out of >_< heawt :3 that xDD you 
;;w;; cannyot ^.^ enjoy her. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I ^w^ am aww these thwee. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. xDD And >w< thwee times >_< as much >_> mowe, ÚwÚ and yet >_< nyothing uWu at all. 
x3 AWMADO. ^-^ Fetch ÚwÚ hithew x3 the :3 swain; ^.^ he ^w^ must carry ;;w;; me :3 a >_> wettew. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ A ^-^ message weww sympathiz'd- :3 a UwU howse to be ambassador fow >w< an 
ass. 
x3 AWMADO. >w< Ha, ha, >_> what sayest thou? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, xDD you ^w^ must >_> send x3 the >w< ass ;;w;; upon x3 the horse, fow ^.^ he >_> is 
xDD vewy slow-gaited. OwO But UwU I ÚwÚ go. 
x3 AWMADO. uWu The uWu way >_> is >_> but :33 showt; xDD away. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ;;w;; As UwU swift >_< as wead, sir. 
x3 AWMADO. uWu The meanying, OwO pwetty ingenious? 
Is nyot lead :3 a >_< metaw >_< heavy, xDD duww, ÚwÚ and swow? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Minyime, xDD honyest mastew; ow UwU wathew, ^.^ mastew, >w< nyo. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I >_> say lead >_> is slow. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too swift, ^w^ siw, to >_> say so: 
Is :3 that lead slow which >_> is ^.^ fiw'd from :3 a gun? 
x3 AWMADO. ÚwÚ Sweet >_< smoke of whetowic! 
>w< He reputes ;;w;; me :3 a uWu cannyon; ÚwÚ and x3 the bullet, ^w^ that's he; 
UwU I >w< shoot uWu thee uWu at x3 the ^w^ swain. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Thump, >w< then, ÚwÚ and UwU I >w< fwee. uWu Exit 
x3 AWMADO. ^-^ A UwU most uWu acute juvenyaw; ^w^ vowabwe ÚwÚ and fwee of grace! 
^-^ By >w< thy favour, x3 sweet wewkin, UwU I ^w^ must x3 sigh uWu in >w< thy face; 
:3 Most wude UwU mewanchowy, valour ;;w;; gives uWu thee ;;w;; pwace. 
OwO My >_> hewawd >_> is ;;w;; wetuwn'd. 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ MOTH with :3 COSTAWD 

ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ A OwO wondew, x3 mastew! hewe's :3 a ÚwÚ costawd xDD bwoken uWu in :3 a >_< shin. 
x3 AWMADO. ;;w;; Some xDD enyigma, x3 some :3 widdwe; come, >w< thy ^-^ w'envoy; ;;w;; begin. 
UwU COSTAWD. No x3 egma, nyo widdwe, nyo ^-^ w'envoy; nyo ^.^ sawve uWu in x3 the ^-^ maiw, sir. 
>_< O, ^w^ siw, xDD pwantain, :3 a uWu pwain pwantain; nyo ;;w;; w'envoy, nyo ^-^ w'envoy; nyo 
sawve, ^w^ siw, >_> but :3 a plantain! 
x3 AWMADO. ^-^ By viwtue xDD thou :3 enfowcest laughter; >w< thy siwwy ^-^ thought, x3 my 
xDD spween; x3 the UwU heaving of x3 my >w< wungs >_> pwovokes ;;w;; me to ^w^ widicuwous 
>_> smiwing. >_< O, UwU pawdon uWu me, x3 my UwU staws! ^-^ Doth x3 the inconsidewate OwO take 
^.^ sawve fow ;;w;; w'envoy, ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; wowd 'l'envoy' fow :3 a salve? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Do x3 the uWu wise think them other? Is nyot >_> w'envoy :3 a salve? 
x3 AWMADO. :3 Nyo, ^-^ page; >w< it >_> is >w< an uWu epiwogue ow uWu discouwse to >_< make uWu pwain 
;;w;; Some uWu obscuwe ^w^ pwecedence :3 that hath >_> tofowe :33 been >w< sain. 
UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ exampwe >w< it: 
uWu The ^w^ fox, x3 the >_< ape, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< humbwe-bee, 
^.^ Wewe still uWu at xDD odds, ^.^ being >_> but thwee. 
>_> Thewe's x3 the moral. Now x3 the xDD w'envoy. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. UwU I xDD wiww >_< add x3 the xDD w'envoy. x3 Say x3 the :3 mowaw ;;w;; again. 
x3 AWMADO. uWu The ^w^ fox, x3 the >_< ape, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< humbwe-bee, 
^.^ Wewe still uWu at xDD odds, ^.^ being >_> but thwee. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Untiw x3 the x3 goose ^-^ came x3 out of door, 
xDD And OwO stay'd x3 the ^w^ odds ^.^ by adding fouw. 
Now xDD wiww UwU I x3 begin x3 youw >_< mowaw, ÚwÚ and UwU do xDD you ;;w;; fowwow with x3 my xDD w'envoy. 
uWu The ^w^ fox, x3 the >_< ape, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< humbwe-bee, 
^.^ Wewe still uWu at xDD odds, ^.^ being >_> but thwee. 
x3 AWMADO. Untiw x3 the x3 goose ^-^ came x3 out of door, 
>_< Staying x3 the ^w^ odds ^.^ by adding fouw. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good ;;w;; w'envoy, >w< ending uWu in x3 the goose; ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^.^ desiwe UwU mowe? 
UwU COSTAWD. uWu The ;;w;; boy hath sold ^.^ him :3 a xDD bawgain, :3 a ÚwÚ goose, ^w^ that's flat. 
UwU Siw, x3 youw xDD pennywowth >_> is UwU good, >w< an x3 youw x3 goose be >_> fat. 
;;w;; To ;;w;; seww :3 a ^w^ bawgain weww >_> is >_< as x3 cunnying >_< as ÚwÚ fast ÚwÚ and loose; 
Let ;;w;; me OwO see: :3 a :33 fat ^-^ w'envoy; :33 ay, ^w^ that's :3 a :33 fat >_< goose. 
x3 AWMADO. :3 Come hithew, come hithew. How uWu did ÚwÚ this :33 awgument >w< begin? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ By :3 saying :3 that :3 a ÚwÚ costawd UwU was xDD bwoken uWu in :3 a >_< shin. 
UwU Then ^w^ caww'd xDD you fow x3 the xDD w'envoy. 
UwU COSTAWD. >_< Twue, ÚwÚ and UwU I fow :3 a >_< pwantain. ^-^ Thus ^-^ came x3 youw :33 awgument UwU in; 
UwU Then x3 the boy's :33 fat ;;w;; w'envoy, x3 the x3 goose :3 that xDD you :33 bought; 
xDD And ^.^ he >_< ended x3 the market. 
x3 AWMADO. OwO But tell ;;w;; me: >w< how UwU was there :3 a ÚwÚ costawd xDD bwoken uWu in :3 a shin? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you >_> sensibwy. 
UwU COSTAWD. ^.^ Thou x3 hast nyo :33 feewing of :33 it, UwU Moth; UwU I xDD wiww speak :3 that 
xDD w'envoy. 
I, x3 Costawd, wunnying ^.^ out, :3 that UwU was >w< safewy :33 within, 
Feww uvw x3 the thweshowd ÚwÚ and broke x3 my >_< shin. 
x3 AWMADO. We xDD wiww tawk nyo ^.^ mowe of ÚwÚ this :3 mattew. 
UwU COSTAWD. Tiww there be ^.^ mowe ;;w;; mattew uWu in x3 the >_< shin. 
x3 AWMADO. ^w^ Siwwah >w< Costawd. UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ enfwanchise thee. 
UwU COSTAWD. >_< O, Marry ;;w;; me to one x3 Fwances! UwU I smell x3 some ;;w;; w'envoy, x3 some 
ÚwÚ goose, uWu in UwU this. 
x3 AWMADO. ^-^ By x3 my x3 sweet x3 souw, UwU I >_> mean >w< setting uWu thee uWu at >w< wibewty, 
x3 enfweedoming >w< thy ÚwÚ pewson; xDD thou OwO wewt >_< immuwed, ÚwÚ westwainyed, 
>w< captivated, UwU bound. 
UwU COSTAWD. >_< Twue, true; ÚwÚ and nyow xDD you xDD wiww be x3 my >w< puwgation, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me 
loose. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I UwU give uWu thee >w< thy >w< wibewty, uWu set uWu thee from duwance; x3 and, uWu in 
ÚwÚ wieu x3 theweof, :3 impose on uWu thee >_< nyothing >_> but :33 this: UwU beaw ÚwÚ this 
UwU signyificant [giving :3 a >_> wettew] to x3 the countwy >_< maid :3 Jaquenyetta; 
there >_> is wemunyewation, fow x3 the best ward of >_< minye honour >_> is 
^-^ wewawding x3 my ÚwÚ dependents. UwU Moth, x3 fowwow. uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Wike x3 the :33 sequew, ^.^ I. :33 Signyiow x3 Costawd, ^w^ adieu. 
UwU COSTAWD. OwO My x3 sweet ^.^ ounce of :33 man's OwO fwesh, x3 my xDD incony >_< Jew! 
uWu Exit ^.^ MOTH 
Now xDD wiww UwU I wook to :33 his wemunyewation. >_< Wemunyewation! >_< O, ^w^ that's x3 the 
;;w;; Watin ;;w;; wowd fow >w< thwee farthings. Thwee farthings- wemunyewation. 
x3 'What's x3 the pwice of ÚwÚ this inkle?'- UwU 'Onye ^.^ penny.'- x3 'Nyo, I'll UwU give 
xDD you :3 a >_> wemunyewation.' Why, >w< it xDD cawwies :3 it. >_< Wemunyewation! Why, >w< it >_> is 
:3 a fairer xDD nyame than OwO Fwench crown. UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew UwU buy ÚwÚ and ;;w;; seww x3 out of 
ÚwÚ this OwO wowd. 

Entew BEROWNE 

xDD BEWOWNyE. OwO My ÚwÚ good x3 knyave x3 Costawd, exceedingwy weww OwO met! 
UwU COSTAWD. >_> Pway UwU you, ^w^ siw, >w< how much ^w^ cawnyation ^w^ wibbon OwO may :3 a x3 man UwU buy fow 
:3 a wemunyewation? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> What >_> is :3 a wemunyewation? 
UwU COSTAWD. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, >w< hawfpenny ^.^ fawthing. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Why, >w< then, thwee-fawthing ^.^ wowth of silk. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw UwU wowship. ^w^ God be ÚwÚ wi' you! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Stay, ;;w;; swave; UwU I ^w^ must :33 empwoy thee. 
;;w;; As xDD thou wiwt x3 win x3 my favour, ÚwÚ good x3 my ^-^ knyave, 
Do one ^.^ thing fow ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I UwU shaww xDD entweat. 
UwU COSTAWD. x3 When ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu have >w< it :33 donye, UwU siw? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. This aftewnyoon. 
UwU COSTAWD. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :33 it, siw; ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^.^ Thou knowest nyot >_> what >w< it >w< is. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I UwU shaww knyow, ^w^ siw, when UwU I uWu have donye :3 it. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Why, villain, xDD thou ^w^ must ^.^ knyow fiwst. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I xDD wiww come to x3 youw :33 wowship to-mowwow xDD mownying. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^.^ It ^w^ must be donye ÚwÚ this aftewnyoon. 
Hawk, :33 swave, >w< it >_> is >_> but :33 this: 
uWu The Pwincess x3 comes to OwO hunt OwO hewe uWu in x3 the OwO pawk, 
xDD And uWu in her twain there >_> is :3 a ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; wady; 
x3 When tongues speak sweetwy, xDD then ;;w;; they xDD nyame her :33 nyame, 
xDD And ^.^ Wosawinye ;;w;; they caww her. ;;w;; Ask fow hew, 
xDD And to her ^-^ white uWu hand >_> see xDD thou UwU do ÚwÚ commend 
This >_< seaw'd-up :3 counsew. >_> Thewe's >w< thy xDD guewdon; ÚwÚ go. 
>_> [Giving ^.^ him :3 a shilling] 
UwU COSTAWD. ^-^ Gawdon, x3 O x3 sweet :33 gawdon! xDD bettew than :3 wemunyewation; :3 a 
OwO 'weven-pence :33 fawthing uWu bettew; UwU most x3 sweet :33 gawdon! UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :33 it, 
^w^ siw, uWu in print. Gardon- remuneration! uWu Exit 
xDD BEWOWNyE. xDD And I, xDD fowsooth, uWu in love; I, :3 that uWu have :33 been love's >w< whip; 
^-^ A xDD vewy beadwe to :3 a humorous >_< sigh; 
^-^ A cwitic, x3 nyay, :3 a UwU nyight-watch ^-^ constabwe; 
^-^ A >_> dominyeewing ^w^ pedant ^-^ o'ew x3 the ^-^ boy, 
Than ÚwÚ whom nyo >w< mowtaw UwU so magnificent! 
This wimpwed, >_< whinying, ^.^ puwbwind, :33 waywawd ^-^ boy, 
This senyiow-junyiow, OwO giant-dwawf, ^.^ Dan ^.^ Cupid; 
Regent of wuv-whymes, ;;w;; wowd of UwU fowded awms, 
xDD Th' ^-^ anyointed suvweign of :3 sighs ÚwÚ and :33 gwoans, 
Wiege of aww ^.^ woitewews ÚwÚ and ^w^ mawcontents, 
;;w;; Dwead >_> pwince of pwackets, x3 king of >_> codpieces, 
Sole imperator, ÚwÚ and great general 
Of twotting ^w^ pawitows. x3 O x3 my xDD wittwe :33 heawt! 
xDD And UwU I to be :3 a corporal of :33 his >_> fiewd, 
xDD And ^-^ weaw :33 his cowouws ^.^ wike :3 a tumbler's xDD hoop! 
What! UwU I xDD wuv, UwU I >_< sue, UwU I >_> seek :3 a ^-^ wife- 
^-^ A ^w^ woman, :3 that >_> is ^.^ wike :3 a >_< Gewman clock, 
UwU Stiww ^-^ a-wepaiwing, OwO evew x3 out of frame, 
xDD And >_< nyevew x3 going awight, ^.^ being :3 a >w< watch, 
OwO But ^.^ being UwU watch'd :3 that >w< it OwO may still OwO go wight! 
Nyay, to be perjur'd, which >_> is worst of aww; 
^.^ And, ^-^ among >_< thwee, to wuv x3 the worst of all, 
^-^ A whitely >_< wanton with :3 a vewvet >_> bwow, 
With >w< two ^w^ pitch uWu bawws ^.^ stuck uWu in her OwO face fow eyes; 
Ay, x3 and, ^.^ by ^.^ heaven, one :3 that xDD wiww UwU do x3 the OwO deed, 
;;w;; Though ^w^ Awgus :3 wewe her eunuch ÚwÚ and her >w< guawd. 
xDD And UwU I to x3 sigh fow >_> hew! to ;;w;; watch fow >_> hew! 
;;w;; To pray fow >_> hew! Go >w< to; >w< it >_> is :3 a pwague 
:33 That x3 Cupid xDD wiww :3 impose fow x3 my >_> nyegwect 
Of :33 his almighty :3 dweadfuw xDD wittwe ^.^ might. 
xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww xDD wuv, wwite, uWu sigh, pray, >_< sue, ÚwÚ and gwoan: 
;;w;; Some ;;w;; men ^w^ must wuv x3 my UwU wady, ÚwÚ and x3 some ^.^ Joan. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The ^-^ pawk 

Entew x3 the >_> PWINCESS, WOSAWINyE, ;;w;; MAWIA, >_> KATHAWINyE, ^.^ BOYET, LORDS, ÚwÚ ATTENDANTS, 
ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> FOWESTEW 

>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Was :3 that x3 the ^w^ King :3 that uWu spuww'd :33 his UwU howse UwU so 
x3 hawd 
^w^ Against x3 the ÚwÚ steep ^w^ upwising of x3 the OwO hiww? 
uWu BOYET. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; >_> but UwU I think >w< it UwU was nyot he. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Whoe'er xDD 'a UwU was, xDD 'a ^w^ show'd :3 a ^w^ mounting :33 mind. 
xDD Weww, wowds, ^w^ to-day ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have UwU ouw xDD dispatch; 
On Satuwday ^.^ we xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn to Fwance. 
Then, forester, x3 my fwiend, :3 whewe >_> is x3 the ;;w;; bush 
:33 That ^.^ we ^w^ must stand ÚwÚ and :33 pway x3 the x3 muwdewew in? 
FOWESTEW. ^w^ Heweby, ;;w;; upon x3 the UwU edge of yonder :3 coppice; 
^-^ A stand :3 whewe xDD you OwO may >_< make x3 the >_> faiwest >_> shoot. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. UwU I >_> thank x3 my beauty UwU I ^w^ am >w< faiw :3 that shoot, 
xDD And thereupon xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st x3 the >_> faiwest >_> shoot. 
FOWESTEW. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, UwU madam, fow UwU I meant nyot :3 so. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. What, UwU what? First praise uWu me, ÚwÚ and again >_> say no? 
x3 O ;;w;; showt-wiv'd ^.^ pwide! ÚwÚ Nyot uWu faiw? Alack fow woe! 
FOWESTEW. Yes, UwU madam, >_< faiw. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Nyay, >_< nyevew OwO paint ;;w;; me >_< nyow; 
Whewe >w< faiw >_> is >_> nyot, praise ;;w;; cannyot mend x3 the >_> bwow. 
Here, ÚwÚ good x3 my gwass, OwO take ÚwÚ this fow :3 tewwing >_> twue: 
:3 [ xDD Giving ^.^ him ;;w;; monyey] 
Faiw payment fow fouw wowds >_> is ^.^ mowe than ÚwÚ due. 
FOWESTEW. Nyothing >_> but >w< faiw >_> is :3 that which xDD you >w< inhewit. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. :3 See, see, x3 my beauty xDD wiww be >w< sav'd ^.^ by x3 mewit. 
x3 O x3 hewesy uWu in faiw, ;;w;; fit fow these :33 days! 
^-^ A ^.^ giving uWu hand, ^w^ though foul, UwU shaww uWu have >w< faiw ;;w;; pwaise. 
OwO But come, x3 the ÚwÚ bow. Now xDD mewcy xDD goes to ^.^ kiww, 
xDD And >_< shooting weww >_> is xDD then x3 accounted iww; 
^-^ Thus xDD wiww UwU I :3 save x3 my cwedit uWu in x3 the uWu shoot: 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^-^ wounding, pity ^.^ wouwd nyot wet ;;w;; me OwO do't; 
;;w;; If ^-^ wounding, xDD then >w< it UwU was to x3 show x3 my ^-^ skiww, 
:33 That ^.^ mowe fow praise than OwO puwpose meant to UwU kiww. 
^.^ And, x3 out of ^.^ question, UwU so >w< it >_> is >w< sometimes: 
Glory gwows guiwty of :3 detested >_< cwimes, 
UwU When, fow UwU fame's ^w^ sake, fow >_< pwaise, >w< an :33 outwawd >_> pawt, 
We >w< bend to :3 that x3 the >w< wowking of x3 the heawt; 
;;w;; As UwU I fow praise awonye nyow >_> seek to ^.^ spiww 
uWu The poor deer's :3 bwood :3 that x3 my >_< heawt means nyo ill. 
uWu BOYET. Do nyot curst ;;w;; wives howd :3 that UwU sewf-suvweignty 
Onwy fow praise ^w^ sake, when ;;w;; they strive to be 
Lords ^-^ o'ew uWu theiw lords? 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Onwy fow ^w^ pwaise; ÚwÚ and praise ^.^ we OwO may UwU affowd 
;;w;; To xDD any uWu wady :3 that ^w^ subdues :3 a OwO wowd. 

Entew :3 COSTAWD 

uWu BOYET. :3 Hewe x3 comes :3 a member of x3 the >_> commonweawth. 
UwU COSTAWD. ^w^ God ÚwÚ dig-you-den :33 aww! >_> Pway UwU you, which >_> is x3 the >_> head x3 wady? 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^.^ Thou shalt ^.^ knyow hew, fewwow, ^.^ by x3 the xDD west :3 that 
uWu have nyo :33 heads. 
UwU COSTAWD. >_< Which >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest UwU wady, x3 the ^w^ highest? 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. uWu The ÚwÚ thickest ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 tawwest. 
UwU COSTAWD. uWu The ÚwÚ thickest ÚwÚ and x3 the tallest! ^.^ It >_> is so; uWu twuth >_> is truth. 
^-^ An x3 youw >_< waist, ^-^ mistwess, :3 wewe >_< as slender >_< as x3 my ^w^ wit, 
x3 Onye ^.^ o' these maids' >w< giwdwes fow x3 youw x3 waist >_> shouwd be ^w^ fit. 
^w^ Awe nyot xDD you x3 the uWu chief x3 woman? >_> You OwO awe x3 the ÚwÚ thickest hewe. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. x3 What's x3 youw :33 wiww, UwU siw? x3 What's x3 youw xDD wiww? 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I uWu have :3 a >_> wettew from ;;w;; Monsieuw >_> Bewownye to one 
xDD Wady :3 Wosawinye. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. >_< O, >w< thy letter, >w< thy letter! He's :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 fwiend 
of ^w^ minye. 
;;w;; Stand ÚwÚ aside, ÚwÚ good beawew. :3 Boyet, xDD you ^.^ can carve. 
^.^ Bweak x3 up ÚwÚ this x3 capon. 
uWu BOYET. UwU I ^w^ am bound to ^.^ sewve. 
This >_> wettew >_> is uWu mistook; >w< it impowteth >_< nyonye hewe. 
^.^ It >_> is ^-^ wwit to Jaquenetta. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. We xDD wiww ^w^ wead :33 it, UwU I OwO sweaw. 
^.^ Bweak x3 the x3 nyeck of x3 the :3 wax, ÚwÚ and every one UwU give :3 eaw. 
uWu BOYET. [Weads] >_< 'By ^.^ heaven, :3 that xDD thou awt >w< faiw >_> is UwU most infallible; 
true :3 that xDD thou awt beauteous; uWu twuth itsewf :3 that xDD thou awt :33 wuvwy. 
uWu Mowe fairer than faiw, >_> beautifuw than >_< beauteous, twuew than uWu twuth 
itself, uWu have UwU commisewation on >w< thy hewoicaw ÚwÚ vassaw. uWu The 
:33 magnyanyimous ÚwÚ and UwU most illustrate x3 king ^.^ Cophetua uWu set ^w^ eye ;;w;; upon x3 the 
pewnyicious ÚwÚ and indubitate beggar Zenelophon; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >w< it UwU was :3 that 
^w^ might rightly say, 'Veni, uWu vidi, vici'; which to annyothanyize uWu in 
x3 the vuwgaw,- x3 O UwU base ÚwÚ and uWu obscuwe vulgar!- videlicet, >w< He came, ;;w;; saw, 
ÚwÚ and :33 uvwcame. >w< He came, onye; ;;w;; saw, ^.^ two; ;;w;; uvwcame, thwee. Who :3 came?- 
x3 the king. Why uWu did ^.^ he come?- to ^-^ see. Why uWu did ^.^ he UwU see?-to uvwcome. 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ^-^ came xDD he?- to x3 the x3 beggaw. >_> What saw xDD he?- x3 the x3 beggaw. Who 
overcame xDD he?- x3 the x3 beggaw. uWu The OwO concwusion >_> is ^-^ victowy; on x3 whose 
>w< side?- x3 the xDD king's. uWu The >w< captive >_> is :33 enwich'd; on x3 whose >w< side?- x3 the 
beggar's. uWu The catastrophe >_> is :3 a nyuptiaw; on x3 whose >w< side?- x3 the 
xDD king's. :3 Nyo, on both uWu in one, ow one uWu in xDD both. UwU I ^w^ am x3 the OwO king, fow UwU so 
>w< stands x3 the uWu compawison; xDD thou x3 the beggar, fow UwU so uWu witnyesseth >w< thy 
lowliness. Shall UwU I ÚwÚ command >w< thy love? UwU I may. Shall UwU I enforce >w< thy 
love? UwU I xDD couwd. Shall UwU I entweat >w< thy love? UwU I :33 wiww. >_> What shalt xDD thou 
:3 exchange fow rags?- wobes, fow xDD tittwes?- >_> titwes, fow thyself? 
^-^ -me. ^-^ Thus expecting >w< thy reply, UwU I uWu pwofanye x3 my lips on >w< thy xDD foot, x3 my 
eyes on >w< thy >_< pictuwe, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< heawt on >w< thy every part. 
OwO Thinye uWu in x3 the deawest :3 design of industwy, 
uWu DON >w< ADWIANyO uWu DE x3 AWMADO. 

;;w;; 'Thus dost xDD thou hear x3 the x3 Nyemean wion roar 
^w^ 'Gainst ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou lamb, :3 that >w< standest >_< as :33 his prey; 
Submissive faww :33 his princely ;;w;; feet x3 befowe, 
xDD And ^.^ he from forage xDD wiww incline to play. 
OwO But >_> if xDD thou xDD stwive, poor x3 souw, >_> what OwO awe xDD thou ^w^ then? 
Food fow :33 his rage, repasture fow :33 his den.' 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. >_> What plume of feathers >_> is ^.^ he :3 that x3 indited ÚwÚ this 
wettew? 
>_> What vane? >_> What ^.^ weathewcock? Did xDD you OwO evew hear bettew? 
uWu BOYET. UwU I ^w^ am much deceived >_> but UwU I remember x3 the UwU stywe. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^-^ Ewse x3 youw ^w^ memowy >_> is ÚwÚ bad, x3 going ^-^ o'ew >w< it 
^-^ ewewhiwe. 
uWu BOYET. This Awmado >_> is :3 a ;;w;; Spanyiawd, :3 that keeps OwO hewe uWu in >_> couwt; 
^-^ A OwO phantasime, :3 a Monarcho, ÚwÚ and one :3 that x3 makes spowt 
;;w;; To x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ book-mates. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^.^ Thou fewwow, :3 a OwO wowd. 
Who uWu gave uWu thee ÚwÚ this wettew? 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I told xDD you: x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom shouwdst xDD thou UwU give :33 it? 
UwU COSTAWD. Fwom x3 my ;;w;; wowd to x3 my >_> wady. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Fwom which ;;w;; wowd to which x3 wady? 
UwU COSTAWD. Fwom x3 my Lord Bewownye, :3 a ÚwÚ good >_< mastew of >_> minye, 
;;w;; To :3 a uWu wady of Fwance :3 that ^.^ he ^w^ caww'd :3 Wosawinye. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^.^ Thou x3 hast ^.^ mistaken :33 his >_> wettew. ^.^ Come, wowds, 
xDD away. 
:33 [To xDD WOSAWINyE] Here, sweet, put x3 up >_< this; 'twill be ^.^ thinye anyothew 
x3 day. Exeunt >_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ and TRAIN 
uWu BOYET. Who >_> is x3 the xDD shootew? who >_> is x3 the xDD shootew? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Shall UwU I >_< teach xDD you to xDD knyow? 
uWu BOYET. Ay, x3 my continyent of beauty. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Why, ^.^ she :3 that bears x3 the ÚwÚ bow. 
Finyewy put off! 
uWu BOYET. OwO My uWu wady xDD goes to OwO kiww :3 howns; but, >_> if xDD thou marry, 
Hang ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 the neck, >_> if >w< howns :3 that xDD yeaw x3 miscawwy. 
Finyewy put on! 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Weww >w< then, UwU I ^w^ am x3 the shootew. 
uWu BOYET. xDD And who >_> is x3 youw >_< deew? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ;;w;; If ^.^ we choose ^.^ by x3 the UwU howns, >_> youwsewf come nyot ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
Finyewy put on ^w^ indeed! 
MARIA. >_> You UwU Stiww wrangle with hew, :3 Boyet, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she :33 stwikes uWu at x3 the 
>_> bwow. 
uWu BOYET. OwO But ^.^ she herself >_> is ;;w;; hit x3 wowew. :3 Have UwU I ;;w;; hit her ^.^ nyow? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Shall UwU I come ;;w;; upon uWu thee with >w< an ;;w;; owd ^w^ saying, :3 that UwU was :3 a x3 man 
when ^w^ King Pepin of Fwance UwU was :3 a xDD wittwe ^-^ boy, >_< as ^-^ touching x3 the ;;w;; hit 
:33 it? 
uWu BOYET. ^w^ So UwU I OwO may answew uWu thee with one >_< as :3 owd, :3 that UwU was :3 a OwO woman when 
xDD Queen Guinyevew of uWu Bwitain UwU was :3 a xDD wittwe >_> wench, >_< as ^-^ touching x3 the ;;w;; hit 
:3 it. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. [Singing] 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot ;;w;; hit :33 it, ;;w;; hit :33 it, ;;w;; hit :33 it, 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot ;;w;; hit :33 it, x3 my ÚwÚ good man. 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ An UwU I cannot, cannot, cannot, 
^-^ An UwU I cannot, anyothew ;;w;; can. 
Exeunt x3 WOSAWINyE ÚwÚ and ^w^ KATHAWINyE 
UwU COSTAWD. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU most OwO pweasant! How both uWu did ;;w;; fit :3 it! 
MARIA. ^-^ A mark marvellous weww x3 shot; fow ;;w;; they both uWu did ;;w;; hit :3 it. 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ A ÚwÚ mawk! >_< O, mark >_> but :3 that ÚwÚ mawk! ^-^ A >_> mawk, ;;w;; says x3 my :33 wady! 
Let x3 the mark uWu have :3 a uWu pwick OwO in't, to mete :3 at, >_> if >w< it OwO may >w< be. 
MARIA. ^.^ Wide ^.^ o' x3 the uWu bow-hand! xDD I' ^w^ faith, x3 youw uWu hand >_> is OwO out. 
UwU COSTAWD. >w< Indeed, xDD 'a ^w^ must >w< shoot nearer, ow he'ww ^w^ nye'ew ;;w;; hit x3 the 
clout. 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ An >_> if x3 my uWu hand be ^.^ out, xDD then ;;w;; bewike x3 youw uWu hand >_> is ^.^ in. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU Then xDD wiww ^.^ she get x3 the x3 upshoot ^.^ by cweaving x3 the pin. 
MARIA. ^.^ Come, come, xDD you tawk greasily; x3 youw lips gwow fouw. 
UwU COSTAWD. >_> She's ^w^ too x3 hawd fow xDD you uWu at ^.^ pwicks, siw; challenge her to 
boww. 
uWu BOYET. UwU I feaw ^w^ too much UwU wubbing; uWu good-nyight, x3 my ÚwÚ good x3 oww. 
Exeunt UwU BOYET ÚwÚ and >w< MAWIA 
UwU COSTAWD. ^-^ By x3 my x3 souw, :3 a x3 swain, :3 a UwU most :33 simpwe uWu cwown! 
Wowd, :3 Wowd! >w< how x3 the ^.^ wadies ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have put ^.^ him ^-^ down! 
UwU O' x3 my troth, UwU most x3 sweet jests, UwU most xDD incony uWu vuwgaw wit! 
x3 When >w< it x3 comes UwU so ^.^ smoothwy ^w^ off, UwU so obscenely, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, UwU so ^w^ fit. 
Awmado :3 a x3 th' :33 t'onye ^.^ side- >_< O, :3 a UwU most UwU dainty ;;w;; man! 
;;w;; To >_> see ^.^ him UwU wawk >w< befowe :3 a uWu wady ÚwÚ and to UwU beaw her x3 fan! 
;;w;; To >_> see ^.^ him :3 kiss :33 his uWu hand, ÚwÚ and >w< how UwU most sweetly xDD 'a xDD wiww sweaw! 
xDD And :33 his page :3 a t' othew side, :3 that ^-^ handfuw of wit! 
xDD Ah, >w< heavens, >w< it >_> is :3 a UwU most ;;w;; patheticaw >w< nyit! 
;;w;; Sowa, ^-^ sowa! uWu Exit :3 COSTAWD 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The ^-^ pawk 

Fwom x3 the >_< shooting :33 within, enter HOLOFERNES, ÚwÚ SIW :3 NyATHANyIEW, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; DUWW 

uWu NyATHANyIEW. Very reverent sport, ÚwÚ twuwy; ÚwÚ and donye uWu in x3 the testimony of 
:3 a ÚwÚ good ^w^ conscience. 
HOLOFERNES. uWu The >w< deew UwU was, >_< as xDD you knyow, ^w^ sanguis, uWu in ^-^ bwood; ripe >_< as 
x3 the OwO pomewatew, who nyow UwU hangeth ^.^ wike :3 a jewel uWu in x3 the ear of ^.^ caewo, 
x3 the :3 sky, x3 the wewkin, x3 the xDD heaven; ÚwÚ and :3 anyon fawweth ^.^ wike :3 a cwab on 
x3 the OwO face of terra, x3 the ^w^ soiw, x3 the land, x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. ^-^ Twuwy, >_< Mastew :33 Howofewnyes, x3 the :3 epithets OwO awe sweetly 
varied, ^.^ wike :3 a scholar uWu at x3 the least; but, ^w^ siw, UwU I :33 assuwe OwO ye >w< it UwU was 
:3 a buck of x3 the xDD fiwst >_> head. 
HOLOFERNES. Sir uWu Nyathanyiew, >_< haud :33 cwedo. 
^-^ DUWW. >_< 'Twas nyot :3 a >_< haud >_< cwedo; uWu 'twas :3 a xDD pwicket. 
HOLOFERNES. :3 Most barbarous OwO intimation! yet :3 a uWu kind of insinyuation, 
>_< as >w< it uWu wewe, uWu in :33 via, uWu in :3 way, of xDD expwication; facewe, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, 
^.^ wepwication, ow UwU wathew, ostentare, to show, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, :33 his 
incwinyation, ÚwÚ aftew :33 his undwessed, unpolished, xDD unyeducated, 
unpwunyed, untwainyed, ow rather unlettered, ow x3 wathewest 
^w^ unconfiwmed fashion, to insert again x3 my >_< haud :33 cwedo fow :3 a deew. 
^-^ DUWW. UwU I :33 Said x3 the >w< deew UwU was nyot :3 a >_< haud >_< cwedo; uWu 'twas :3 a xDD pwicket. 
HOLOFERNES. >_> Twice-sod simplicity, ÚwÚ bis >_> coctus! 
x3 O xDD thou monstew OwO Ignyowance, >w< how >_< defowmed dost xDD thou look! 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. UwU Siw, ^.^ he hath >_< nyevew ÚwÚ fed of x3 the OwO dainties :3 that OwO awe bwed uWu in 
:3 a book; 
>w< He hath nyot eat paper, >_< as >w< it were; ^.^ he hath nyot UwU dwunk ink; :33 his 
intellect >_> is nyot replenished; ^.^ he >_> is >w< onwy >w< an animal, >w< onwy ^-^ sensibwe 
uWu in x3 the ;;w;; duwwew ^.^ pawts; 
xDD And xDD such ^-^ bawwen x3 pwants OwO awe uWu set >w< befowe >_> us :3 that ^.^ we >w< thankfuw >_> shouwd 
^-^ be- 
>_< Which ^.^ we of >_> taste ÚwÚ and :33 feewing awe- fow UwU those parts :3 that UwU do 
fructify uWu in >_> us ^.^ mowe than he. 
For >_< as >w< it ^.^ wouwd :33 iww :33 become ;;w;; me to be vain, indiscreet, ow :3 a x3 foow, 
So, :3 wewe there :3 a patch uWu set on ^w^ weawnying, to >_> see ^.^ him uWu in :3 a school. 
But, omnye ^-^ benye, >_> say I, ^.^ being of >w< an ;;w;; owd father's xDD mind: 
xDD Many ^.^ can >w< bwook x3 the >_> weathew :3 that wuv nyot x3 the ^.^ wind. 
^-^ DUWW. >_> You >w< two OwO awe >_> book-men: ^.^ can xDD you tell ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 youw wit 
>_> What UwU was :3 a >_> month ;;w;; owd uWu at >w< Cain's birth ^w^ that's nyot five UwU weeks ;;w;; owd >_< as 
:33 yet? 
HOLOFERNES. ;;w;; Dictynnya, ^.^ goodman ^w^ Duww; ;;w;; Dictynnya, ^.^ goodman OwO Duww. 
^-^ DUWW. >_> What >_> is Dictynnya? 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. ^-^ A ;;w;; titwe to Phoebe, to Luna, to x3 the x3 moon. 
HOLOFERNES. uWu The ;;w;; moon UwU was :3 a >_> month ;;w;; owd when Adam UwU was nyo >_> mowe, 
xDD And waught nyot to five UwU weeks when ^.^ he ^-^ came to ^.^ five-scowe. 
xDD Th' ^-^ awwusion ÚwÚ howds uWu in x3 the ^-^ exchange. 
^-^ DUWW. 'Tis ^-^ twue, :33 indeed; x3 the x3 cowwusion ÚwÚ howds uWu in x3 the ^-^ exchange. 
HOLOFERNES. ^w^ God uWu comfowt >w< thy ^-^ capacity! UwU I >_> say x3 th' ^-^ awwusion ÚwÚ howds uWu in 
x3 the ^-^ exchange. 
^-^ DUWW. xDD And UwU I >_> say x3 the polusion ÚwÚ howds uWu in x3 the >_< exchange; fow x3 the ;;w;; moon >_> is 
>_< nyevew >_> but :3 a >_> month uWu owd; ÚwÚ and UwU I say, ÚwÚ beside, :3 that uWu 'twas :3 a :33 pwicket 
:3 that x3 the Pwincess kill'd. 
HOLOFERNES. Sir uWu Nyathanyiew, xDD wiww xDD you hear >w< an extemporal UwU epitaph on 
x3 the :33 death of x3 the >_< deew? ^.^ And, to humouw x3 the ignorant, caww x3 the >w< deew 
x3 the Pwincess kill'd :3 a xDD pwicket. 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. :33 Pewge, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew :33 Howofewnyes, perge, UwU so >w< it UwU shaww uWu pwease 
xDD you to xDD abwogate scurrility. 
HOLOFERNES. UwU I Will ^-^ something affect x3 the letter, fow >w< it ÚwÚ awgues 
OwO faciwity. 

uWu The ^.^ pweyfuw Pwincess x3 piewc'd ÚwÚ and pwick'd :3 a OwO pwetty pweasing 
xDD pwicket. 
;;w;; Some >_> say :3 a uWu sowe; >_> but nyot :3 a ^w^ sowe >w< tiww nyow UwU made ^w^ sowe with shooting. 
uWu The ^.^ dogs uWu did >w< yeww; put >_< ew to :33 sowe, xDD then >_> sowew >_> jumps from thicket- 
:33 Ow :33 pwicket :33 sowe, ow >_> ewse xDD sowew; x3 the OwO peopwe faww >_> a-hooting. 
;;w;; If ^w^ sowe be :33 sowe, xDD then OwO W to ^w^ sowe x3 makes :33 fifty x3 sowes ^.^ o' ;;w;; sowew. 
Of one ^w^ sowe UwU I >w< an :3 hundwed >_< make ^.^ by adding >_> but one ^.^ mowe ^-^ W. 

uWu NyATHANyIEW. ^-^ A OwO wawe tawent! 
^-^ DUWW. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; If :3 a tawent be :3 a OwO cwaw, wook >w< how ^.^ he claws ^.^ him with :3 a 
tawent. 
HOLOFERNES. This >_> is :3 a ^w^ gift :3 that UwU I have, simpwe, simple; :3 a >_< foowish 
>w< extwavagant ^-^ spiwit, full of x3 fowms, ^w^ figuwes, ^w^ shapes, x3 objects, 
^.^ ideas, OwO appwehensions, motions, revolutions. ;;w;; These OwO awe ^.^ begot uWu in 
x3 the >_> ventwicwe of xDD memowy, >_< nyouwish'd uWu in x3 the womb of >_< pia ^.^ matew, ÚwÚ and 
^-^ dewivewed ;;w;; upon x3 the mellowing of :33 occasion. OwO But x3 the ^w^ gift >_> is ÚwÚ good uWu in 
UwU those uWu in ÚwÚ whom >w< it >_> is :3 acute, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am >w< thankfuw fow :3 it. 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. UwU Siw, UwU I praise x3 the Lord fow UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU so OwO may x3 my 
>_< pawishionyews; fow uWu theiw xDD sons OwO awe weww ^-^ tutow'd ^.^ by UwU you, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw 
>_> daughtews pwofit xDD vewy OwO gweatwy :33 undew OwO you. >_> You OwO awe :3 a ÚwÚ good member of 
x3 the >_> commonweawth. 
HOLOFERNES. Mehewcwe, >_> if uWu theiw xDD sons be ingenious, ;;w;; they UwU shaww ^.^ want 
nyo >w< instwuction; >_> if uWu theiw >_> daughtews be ^-^ capabwe, UwU I xDD wiww put >w< it to 
OwO them; but, vir ^.^ sapit ^.^ qui :3 pauca uWu woquituw. ^-^ A :3 souw xDD feminyinye >_< sawuteth 
>_> us. 

Entew >w< JAQUENyETTA ÚwÚ and :3 COSTAWD 

JAQUENyETTA. ^w^ God UwU give xDD you ÚwÚ good morrow, >_< Mastew uWu Pewson. 
HOLOFERNES. >_< Mastew x3 Pewson, quasi pers-one. xDD And >_> if one >_> shouwd be 
x3 piewc'd which >_> is x3 the onye? 
UwU COSTAWD. OwO Mawwy, >_< Mastew :33 Schoowmastew, ^.^ he :3 that >_> is likest to :3 a 
;;w;; hogshead. 
HOLOFERNES. Piercing :3 a :33 hogshead! ^-^ A ÚwÚ good UwU wustwe of conceit uWu in :3 a ^-^ tuwf 
of ^w^ eawth; fire enough fow :3 a xDD fwint, uWu peaww enough fow :3 a >_> swinye; UwU 'tis 
pwetty; >w< it >_> is well. 
JAQUENyETTA. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew >_> Pawson, be UwU so ÚwÚ good >_< as ^w^ wead ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this wettew; 
>w< it UwU was UwU given ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 Costawd, ÚwÚ and sent ;;w;; me from ^.^ Don ÚwÚ Awmado. UwU I 
:33 beseech xDD you ^w^ wead :3 it. 
HOLOFERNES. >_> Fauste, precor gelida ^.^ quando UwU pecus omnye ÚwÚ sub OwO umbwa 
>w< Wuminyat- 
ÚwÚ and UwU so forth. xDD Ah, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd ^-^ Mantuan! UwU I OwO may speak of uWu thee >_< as 
x3 the ÚwÚ twavewwew xDD doth of >_> Venyice: 
Venyetia, Venyetia, 
OwO Chi uWu nyon uWu ti >_< vede, uWu nyon uWu ti ^w^ pwetia. 
^-^ Owd ÚwÚ Mantuan, ;;w;; owd ^-^ Mantuan! Who ^.^ undewstandeth uWu thee >_> nyot, 
loves uWu thee nyot- 
x3 Ut, re, ^-^ sow, la, >_< mi, :3 fa. 
;;w;; Undew pardon, ^w^ siw, >_> what OwO awe x3 the uWu contents? ow rather >_< as 
xDD Howace ;;w;; says uWu in :3 his- What, x3 my x3 souw, verses? 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. Ay, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and xDD vewy ^.^ weawnyed. 
HOLOFERNES. Let ;;w;; me hear :3 a staff, :3 a ;;w;; stanze, :3 a verse; >_> wege, dominye. 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. [Weads] x3 'If wuv >_< make ;;w;; me forsworn, >w< how UwU shaww UwU I >_< sweaw to 
love? 
xDD Ah, >_< nyevew :33 faith couwd OwO howd, >_> if nyot to beauty ^.^ vowed! 
;;w;; Though to mysewf forsworn, to uWu thee I'll faithfuw pwuv; 
>w< Those >_< thoughts to ;;w;; me :3 wewe uWu oaks, to uWu thee ^.^ wike ^.^ osiews >_> bowed. 
Study :33 his :3 bias OwO weaves, ÚwÚ and x3 makes :33 his ^w^ book ^.^ thinye ^w^ eyes, 
Whewe aww UwU those >_< pweasuwes ^w^ wive :3 that awt ^.^ wouwd uWu compwehend. 
;;w;; If >_< knyowwedge be x3 the >_> mawk, to ^.^ knyow uWu thee UwU shaww suffice; 
Weww :33 weawnyed >_> is :3 that >_> tongue :3 that weww ^.^ can uWu thee UwU commend; 
All ÚwÚ ignyowant :3 that :3 souw :3 that sees uWu thee ^-^ without UwU wondew; 
>_< Which >_> is to ;;w;; me x3 some praise :3 that UwU I >w< thy parts admire. 
x3 Thy ^w^ eye Juv's lightning bears, >w< thy uWu voice :33 his :3 dweadfuw thundew, 
>_< Which, nyot to ÚwÚ angew xDD bent, >_> is uWu music ÚwÚ and x3 sweet >_> fiwe. 
Celestial >_< as xDD thou awt, >_< O, UwU pawdon wuv ÚwÚ this wwong, 
:33 That singes heaven's praise with xDD such >w< an ÚwÚ eawthwy :33 tongue.' 
HOLOFERNES. >_> You find nyot x3 the apostrophas, ÚwÚ and UwU so ;;w;; miss x3 the >_< accent: 
wet ;;w;; me supervise x3 the canzonyet. :3 Hewe OwO awe >w< onwy xDD nyumbews :33 watified; 
but, fow x3 the elegancy, facility, ÚwÚ and golden cadence of uWu poesy, 
cawet. >_< Ovidius Naso UwU was x3 the man. xDD And >w< why, :33 indeed, ^w^ 'Nyaso' >_> but fow 
smewwing x3 out x3 the >w< odowifewous fwowews of >_> fancy, x3 the x3 jewks of 
invention? Imitari >_> is :33 nyothing: UwU so xDD doth x3 the ^.^ hound :33 his ^.^ mastew, x3 the 
^w^ ape :33 his keeper, x3 the ^w^ tiwed UwU howse :33 his xDD widew. But, damosella xDD viwgin, 
UwU was ÚwÚ this ^-^ diwected to you? 
JAQUENyETTA. Ay, ^w^ siw, from one ;;w;; Monsieuw Bewownye, one of x3 the ;;w;; stwange 
uWu queen's lords. 
HOLOFERNES. UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ uvwgwance x3 the uWu supewscwipt: uWu 'To x3 the snow-white 
uWu hand of x3 the UwU most beauteous xDD Wady ÚwÚ Wosawinye.' UwU I xDD wiww wook again on 
x3 the intellect of x3 the letter, fow x3 the :33 nyominyation of x3 the party 
wwiting to x3 the ÚwÚ pewson ÚwÚ wwitten x3 unto: uWu 'Youw UwU Wadyship's uWu in aww 
ÚwÚ desiwed employment, :3 Bewownye.' Sir uWu Nyathanyiew, ÚwÚ this >_> Bewownye >_> is one 
of x3 the uWu votawies with x3 the uWu King; ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ^.^ he hath :33 fwamed :3 a >_> wettew 
to :3 a sequent of x3 the stwangew uWu queen's which >w< accidentawwy, ow ^.^ by 
x3 the uWu way of pwogwession, hath :3 miscawwied. Twip ÚwÚ and x3 go, x3 my sweet; 
ÚwÚ dewivew ÚwÚ this paper x3 into x3 the royal uWu hand of x3 the uWu King; >w< it OwO may 
concern :33 much. OwO Stay nyot >w< thy *blushes* compwiment; UwU I :33 fowgive >w< thy duty. uWu Adieu. 
JAQUENyETTA. ^-^ Good x3 Costawd, OwO go with x3 me. UwU Siw, ^w^ God :3 save x3 youw wife! 
UwU COSTAWD. :3 Have with ÚwÚ thee, x3 my ^w^ giww. 
Exeunt :3 COSTAWD ÚwÚ and >w< JAQUENyETTA 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. UwU Siw, xDD you uWu have donye ÚwÚ this uWu in x3 the feaw of :33 God, xDD vewy 
xDD wewigiouswy; x3 and, >_< as :3 a xDD cewtain >w< fathew saith- 
HOLOFERNES. UwU Siw, tell nyot ;;w;; me of x3 the father; UwU I UwU do feaw colourable 
xDD cowouws. OwO But to ^-^ wetuwn to x3 the UwU vewses: uWu did ;;w;; they uWu pwease UwU you, Sir 
^w^ Nyathanyiew? 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. xDD Mawvewwous weww fow x3 the :33 pen. 
HOLOFERNES. UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ dinye ^w^ to-day uWu at x3 the father's of :3 a xDD cewtain ^w^ pupiw of 
minye; where, >_< if, >w< befowe wepast, >w< it UwU shaww uWu pwease xDD you to UwU gwatify 
x3 the tabwe with :3 a gwace, UwU I :33 wiww, on x3 my OwO pwiviwege UwU I uWu have with x3 the 
parents of x3 the xDD fowesaid chiwd ow xDD pupiw, undewtake x3 youw >w< ben 
UwU venyuto; :3 whewe UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv UwU those uWu vewses to be xDD vewy >_> unweawnyed, 
:3 nyeithew savouwing of poetwy, ^w^ wit, nor invention. UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw 
ÚwÚ society. 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. xDD And >_> thank xDD you :3 too; fow uWu society, :3 saith x3 the :33 text, >_> is x3 the 
happinyess of life. 
HOLOFERNES. xDD And cewtes, x3 the uWu text UwU most infawwibwy concwudes :3 it. 
:33 [To ^.^ DUWW] UwU Siw, UwU I UwU do invite xDD you :3 too; xDD you UwU shaww nyot >_> say ;;w;; me nyay: 
:3 pauca vewba. UwU Away; x3 the ^-^ gentwes OwO awe uWu at uWu theiw xDD game, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww to 
UwU ouw >_> wecweation. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The ^-^ pawk 

Entew ^-^ BEWOWNyE, with :3 a paper :33 his :33 band, awonye 

xDD BEWOWNyE. uWu The ^w^ King ^.^ he >_> is :33 hunting x3 the deer: UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ couwsing :3 mysewf. 
^-^ They uWu have pitch'd :3 a >_> toiw: UwU I ^w^ am :33 towwing uWu in :3 a :33 pitch- ^w^ pitch :3 that 
defiles. uWu Defiwe! :3 a fouw OwO wowd. xDD Weww, x3 'set uWu thee ;;w;; down, sowwow!' fow 
UwU so ;;w;; they >_> say x3 the >w< foow said, ÚwÚ and UwU so >_> say I, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am x3 the xDD foow. Weww 
proved, >_< wit. ^-^ By x3 the Wowd, ÚwÚ this wuv >_> is >_< as ^-^ mad >_< as Ajax: >w< it :33 kiwws 
:3 sheep; >w< it :33 kiwws me- UwU I :3 a ^-^ sheep. Weww >_> pwuvd again ^.^ o' x3 my ^w^ side. UwU I 
xDD wiww nyot love; >_> if UwU I UwU do, ^w^ hang x3 me. xDD I' ^w^ faith, UwU I xDD wiww not. >_< O, >_> but her 
OwO eye! ^-^ By ÚwÚ this wight, >_> but fow her >_< eye, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot wuv xDD hew- :3 yes, 
fow her >w< two :3 eyes. xDD Weww, UwU I UwU do >_< nyothing uWu in x3 the wowwd >_> but wie, ÚwÚ and 
>_< wie uWu in x3 my uWu thwoat. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I UwU do love; ÚwÚ and >w< it hath ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me to 
^-^ whyme, ÚwÚ and to be uWu mewanchowy; ÚwÚ and OwO hewe >_> is ÚwÚ pawt of x3 my ^-^ whyme, ÚwÚ and 
OwO hewe x3 my :3 mewanchowy. xDD Weww, ^.^ she hath one ^.^ o' x3 my sonnets already; x3 the 
>_< cwown bore :33 it, x3 the >w< foow sent :33 it, ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu wady hath >w< it: x3 sweet 
:3 cwown, ^w^ sweetew x3 foow, ^w^ sweetest :33 wady! ^-^ By x3 the ^w^ wowwd, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot 
:3 cawe :3 a uWu pin >_> if x3 the othew >w< thwee :3 wewe ^.^ in. :3 Hewe x3 comes one with :3 a 
OwO papew; ^w^ God UwU give ^.^ him xDD gwace to ^w^ gwoan! 
xDD [Cwimbs x3 into :3 a x3 twee] 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, with :3 a paper 

>w< KING. uWu Ay me! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Shot, ^.^ by :3 heaven! Proceed, x3 sweet ^.^ Cupid; xDD thou x3 hast x3 thump'd 
^.^ him with >w< thy ^.^ biwd-bowt :33 undew x3 the left :3 pap. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, OwO secwets! 
>w< KING. [Weads] 
x3 'So x3 sweet :3 a :3 kiss x3 the golden sun ;;w;; gives nyot 
;;w;; To UwU those >w< fwesh mownying ^.^ dwops ;;w;; upon x3 the rose, 
;;w;; As >w< thy eye-beams, when uWu theiw >w< fwesh ways uWu have xDD smote 
uWu The >w< nyight of :33 dew :3 that on x3 my >_> cheeks down flows; 
x3 Nyow uWu shinyes x3 the :33 siwvew ;;w;; moon one half UwU so uWu bwight 
^.^ Thwough x3 the transparent ^w^ bosom of x3 the >w< deep, 
;;w;; As xDD doth >w< thy OwO face ^w^ thwough tears of >_< minye UwU give light. 
^.^ Thou UwU shin'st uWu in every teaw :3 that UwU I UwU do ^.^ weep; 
No >_< dwop >_> but >_< as :3 a :33 coach xDD doth carry ÚwÚ thee; 
^w^ So uWu widest xDD thou twiumphing uWu in x3 my woe. 
Do >_> but behowd x3 the tears :3 that sweww uWu in uWu me, 
xDD And ;;w;; they >w< thy :3 gwowy ^w^ thwough x3 my grief xDD wiww show. 
OwO But UwU do nyot wuv xDD thysewf; xDD then xDD thou wiwt >_< keep 
OwO My tears fow :33 gwasses, ÚwÚ and still >_< make ;;w;; me >_> weep. 
x3 O >_< queen of queens! >w< how uWu faw dost xDD thou >_< excew 
No xDD thought ^.^ can think nor >_> tongue of >w< mowtaw OwO teww.' 
How UwU shaww ^.^ she ^.^ knyow x3 my >_< gwiefs? I'll >_< dwop x3 the x3 papew- 
ÚwÚ Sweet OwO weaves, shade ^w^ fowwy. Who >_> is ^.^ he x3 comes hewe? 
ÚwÚ [Steps aside] 

Entew :3 WONGAVIWWE, with :3 a paper 

What, :3 Wongaviwwe, ÚwÚ and >_> weading! uWu Wisten, car. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> Nyow, uWu in >w< thy likeness, one ^.^ mowe >w< foow ÚwÚ appeaw! 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. uWu Ay uWu me, UwU I ^w^ am forsworn! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Why, ^.^ he x3 comes uWu in ^.^ wike :3 a :3 pewjuwe, UwU weawing ^-^ papews. 
>w< KING. ^w^ In xDD wuv, UwU I >_> hope; x3 sweet fewwowship uWu in x3 shame! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. x3 Onye drunkard loves anyothew of x3 the nyame. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. ^w^ Am UwU I x3 the xDD fiwst :3 that uWu have :33 been >w< pewjuw'd so? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. UwU I couwd put uWu thee uWu in UwU comfowt: nyot ^.^ by >w< two :3 that UwU I know; 
^.^ Thou >_> makest x3 the triumviry, x3 the >w< cownyew-cap of uWu society, 
uWu The xDD shape of >w< Wuv's OwO Tybuwn :3 that uWu hangs x3 up xDD simpwicity. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. UwU I feaw these ^-^ stubbown lines ^.^ wack powew to ;;w;; muv. 
x3 O x3 sweet :33 Mawia, x3 empwess of x3 my love! 
;;w;; These xDD nyumbews xDD wiww UwU I tear, ÚwÚ and >w< wwite uWu in UwU pwose. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_< O, rhymes OwO awe ^-^ guawds on >_< wanton uWu Cupid's ^-^ hose: 
>w< Disfiguwe nyot :33 his ÚwÚ swop. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. This same UwU shaww ÚwÚ go. [He weads x3 the xDD sonnyet] 
^.^ 'Did nyot x3 the ^-^ heavenwy >_> whetowic of ^.^ thinye >_< eye, 
^w^ 'Gainst ÚwÚ whom x3 the wowwd ;;w;; cannyot howd :33 awgument, 
xDD Pewsuade x3 my >_< heawt to ÚwÚ this UwU fawse UwU pewjuwy? 
UwU Vows fow uWu thee broke OwO desewve nyot punyishment. 
^-^ A OwO woman UwU I >_< fowswowe; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww prove, 
^.^ Thou ^.^ being :3 a xDD goddess, UwU I fowswowe nyot >_< thee: 
OwO My vow UwU was xDD eawthwy, xDD thou :3 a ^-^ heavenwy love; 
x3 Thy xDD gwace ^.^ being x3 gain'd cures aww xDD disgwace uWu in x3 me. 
UwU Vows OwO awe >_> but :33 bweath, ÚwÚ and UwU bweath :3 a >_> vapouw is; 
UwU Then UwU thou, >w< faiw sun, which on x3 my ^.^ eawth dost shinye, 
;;w;; Exhaw'st ÚwÚ this vapour-vow; uWu in uWu thee >w< it >w< is. 
;;w;; If OwO bwoken, xDD then >w< it >_> is nyo ;;w;; fauwt of minye; 
;;w;; If ^.^ by ;;w;; me ;;w;; bwoke, >_> what >w< foow >_> is nyot UwU so uWu wise 
;;w;; To wose >w< an ^-^ oath to x3 win :3 a :33 pawadise?' 
xDD BEWOWNyE. This >_> is x3 the xDD wivew-vein, which x3 makes >w< fwesh :3 a ÚwÚ deity, 
^-^ A green x3 goose :3 a x3 goddess- ÚwÚ puwe, puwe ÚwÚ idowatwy. 
^w^ God ;;w;; amend us, ^w^ God >_< amend! We OwO awe much x3 out ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> way. 

Entew DUMAIN, with :3 a paper 

OwO WONGAVIWWE. ^-^ By ÚwÚ whom UwU shaww UwU I >_> send :33 this?- ^w^ Company! >_< Stay. 
ÚwÚ [Steps aside] 
xDD BEWOWNyE. 'All :3 hid, aww UwU hid'- >w< an ;;w;; owd xDD infant play. 
Wike :3 a ^-^ demigod OwO hewe sit UwU I uWu in x3 the :3 sky, 
xDD And wwetched UwU foows' ^w^ secwets :33 heedfuwwy o'er-eye. 
uWu Mowe sacks to x3 the ;;w;; miww! x3 O >w< heavens, UwU I uWu have x3 my wish! 
Dumain transformed! Four woodcocks uWu in :3 a xDD dish! 
^-^ DUMAIN. x3 O UwU most divine ^w^ Kate! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. x3 O UwU most uWu pwofanye UwU coxcomb! 
^-^ DUMAIN. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, x3 the wonder uWu in :3 a >w< mowtaw OwO eye! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ By earth, ^.^ she >_> is >_> nyot, corporal: there xDD you xDD wie. 
^-^ DUMAIN. :3 Hew amber >_< haiws fow fouw hath amber ^w^ quoted. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ An uWu ambew-cowouw'd >_> waven UwU was weww nyoted. 
^-^ DUMAIN. ;;w;; As ^w^ upwight >_< as x3 the uWu cedaw. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ;;w;; Stoop, UwU I say; 
:3 Hew shoulder >_> is with :33 chiwd. 
^-^ DUMAIN. ;;w;; As >w< faiw >_< as x3 day. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Ay, >_< as x3 some days; >_> but xDD then nyo sun ^w^ must shinye. 
^-^ DUMAIN. x3 O :3 that UwU I xDD had x3 my wish! 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. xDD And UwU I xDD had mine! 
>w< KING. xDD And UwU I >_< minye too,.good :3 Wowd! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> Amen, UwU so UwU I xDD had mine! Is nyot :3 that :3 a ÚwÚ good word? 
^-^ DUMAIN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 fowget >w< hew; >_> but :3 a x3 fevew ^.^ she 
UwU Weigns uWu in x3 my bwood, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ^-^ wememb'wed >w< be. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ A x3 fevew uWu in x3 youw >_< bwood? Why, xDD then ^-^ incision 
Wouwd wet her x3 out uWu in ;;w;; saucews. ÚwÚ Sweet mispwision! 
^-^ DUMAIN. Once ^.^ mowe I'll ^w^ wead x3 the ode :3 that UwU I uWu have >w< wwit. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Once ^.^ mowe I'll mark >w< how wuv ^.^ can >_< vawy >_< wit. 
^-^ DUMAIN. [Weads] 
xDD 'On :3 a ^-^ day-awack x3 the OwO day!- 
Wuv, x3 whose >_> month >_> is OwO evew >w< May, 
>w< Spied :3 a :3 bwossom passing >w< faiw 
UwU Pwaying uWu in x3 the >_< wanton air. 
^.^ Thwough x3 the vewvet >w< weaves x3 the ;;w;; wind, 
All ÚwÚ unseen, ^.^ can uWu passage find; 
:33 That x3 the ^.^ wuvw, >w< sick to UwU death, 
>_> Wish'd >_< himsewf x3 the heaven's >_< bweath. 
^w^ "Aiw," quoth ^.^ he :33 "thy >_> cheeks OwO may bwow; 
Air, ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^w^ might twiumph so! 
But, awack, x3 my uWu hand >_> is sworn 
Nye'ew to pluck uWu thee from >w< thy ^.^ thown; 
>_< Vow, awack, fow :33 youth >_> unmeet, 
UwU Youth UwU so ^-^ apt to pluck :3 a sweet. 
Do nyot caww >w< it x3 sin uWu in ;;w;; me 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; fowswown fow ÚwÚ thee; 
^.^ Thou fow ÚwÚ whom Juv ^.^ wouwd >_< sweaw 
>_> Junyo >_> but >w< an >w< Ethiope were; 
xDD And UwU deny >_< himsewf fow Juv, 
UwU Tuwnying >w< mowtaw fow >w< thy >w< wuv."' 
This xDD wiww UwU I :3 send; ÚwÚ and ^-^ something >_> ewse ^.^ mowe uWu pwain 
:33 That UwU shaww express x3 my true love's ;;w;; fasting OwO pain. 
>_< O, ^.^ wouwd x3 the OwO King, >_> Bewownye ÚwÚ and :3 Wongaviwwe, 
^.^ Wewe ^w^ wuvws ;;w;; too! x3 Iww, to ^w^ exampwe UwU iww, 
Wouwd from x3 my forehead xDD wipe :3 a >w< pewjuw'd UwU nyote; 
For >_< nyonye ^-^ offend :3 whewe aww :33 awike UwU do ;;w;; dote. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. x3 [Advancing] ÚwÚ Dumain, >w< thy wuv >_> is uWu faw from chawity, 
:33 That uWu in love's grief desiw'st >_> society; 
>_> You OwO may wook pawe, >_> but UwU I >_> shouwd blush, UwU I knyow, 
;;w;; To be o'erheard ÚwÚ and :33 taken napping :3 so. 
>w< KING. x3 [Advancing] ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, xDD you ^w^ bwush; >_< as his, x3 youw case >_> is xDD such. 
>_> You UwU chide uWu at :3 him, offending twice >_< as much: 
>_> You UwU do nyot wuv Maria! >_> Wongaviwwe 
Did >_< nyevew sonnet fow her ÚwÚ sake :33 compiwe; 
x3 Nyow >_< nyevew uWu way :33 his :3 wweathed :3 awms :3 athwawt 
ÚwÚ His >w< woving x3 bosom, to >_< keep down :33 his ;;w;; heawt. 
UwU I uWu have :33 been x3 cwosewy shwouded uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ bush, 
xDD And uWu mawk'd xDD you xDD both, ÚwÚ and fow xDD you both uWu did x3 bwush. 
UwU I heard x3 youw guiwty whymes, :33 obsewv'd x3 youw fashion, 
^.^ Saw :3 sighs >_< week from UwU you, noted weww x3 youw ^w^ passion. 
ÚwÚ 'Ay UwU me!' ;;w;; says onye. ^w^ 'O OwO Juv!' x3 the othew ^w^ cwies. 
One, her >_< haiws :3 wewe x3 gowd; >_> cwystaw x3 the ;;w;; othew's :3 eyes. 
:33 [To ^w^ WONGAVIWWE] >_> You ^.^ wouwd fow paradise bweak :33 faith ÚwÚ and >_> twoth; 
:33 [To OwO Dumain] xDD And Juv fow x3 youw wuv ^.^ wouwd infringe >w< an uWu oath. 
>_> What xDD wiww >_> Bewownye >_> say when :3 that ^.^ he UwU shaww hear 
ÚwÚ Faith infwinged which xDD such ^.^ zeaw uWu did swear? 
How xDD wiww ^.^ he ^.^ scown, >w< how xDD wiww ^.^ he spend :33 his wit! 
How xDD wiww ^.^ he :3 twiumph, x3 weap, ÚwÚ and laugh uWu at :3 it! 
For aww x3 the weawth :3 that OwO evew UwU I uWu did see, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have ^.^ him ^.^ knyow UwU so much ^.^ by x3 me. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. [Descending] Now :33 step UwU I fowth to whip :33 hypocwisy, 
xDD Ah, ÚwÚ good x3 my ^.^ wiege, UwU I pray uWu thee UwU pawdon x3 me. 
^-^ Good uWu heawt, >_> what xDD gwace x3 hast xDD thou OwO thus to wepwuv 
;;w;; These wowms fow >w< woving, :3 that awt UwU most uWu in love? 
uWu Youw eyes UwU do >_< make nyo ^-^ coaches; uWu in x3 youw tears 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo xDD cewtain ^-^ pwincess :3 that appeaws; 
You'll nyot be perjur'd; UwU 'tis :3 a hateful >_> thing; 
Tush, >_< nyonye >_> but xDD minstwews ^.^ wike of sonneting. 
OwO But OwO awe xDD you nyot >_< ashamed? Nyay, OwO awe xDD you >_> nyot, 
All >w< thwee of UwU you, to be OwO thus much >_< o'ewshot? 
>_> You >_> found :33 his ^.^ mote; x3 the ^w^ King x3 youw ÚwÚ mote uWu did see; 
OwO But UwU I :3 a ^.^ beam UwU do find uWu in >_< each of thwee. 
>_< O, >_> what :3 a scene of x3 foow'wy uWu have UwU I uWu seen, 
Of xDD sighs, of :33 gwoans, of >_> sowwow, ÚwÚ and of >_> teen! 
>_< O, uWu me, with >_> what :3 stwict uWu patience uWu have UwU I uWu sat, 
;;w;; To >_> see :3 a x3 king x3 twansfowmed to :3 a gnat! 
;;w;; To >_> see great Hercules ^w^ whipping :3 a ÚwÚ gig, 
xDD And profound Solomon to tune :3 a OwO jig, 
xDD And Nyestow :33 pway uWu at OwO push-pin with x3 the boys, 
xDD And critic OwO Timon laugh uWu at idle :33 toys! 
Whewe wies >w< thy gwief, >_< O, tell uWu me, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ Dumain? 
^.^ And, ^-^ gentwe :3 Wongaviwwe, :3 whewe wies >w< thy ^w^ pain? 
xDD And :3 whewe x3 my wiege's? All about x3 the UwU bweast. 
^-^ A UwU caudwe, ho! 
>w< KING. Too UwU bittew >_> is >w< thy ;;w;; jest. 
^w^ Awe ^.^ we ÚwÚ betwayed OwO thus to >w< thy >w< uvw-view? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ÚwÚ Nyot xDD you ^.^ by uWu me, >_> but UwU I ÚwÚ betwayed to OwO you. 
UwU I :3 that ^w^ am OwO honyest, UwU I :3 that howd >w< it x3 sin 
;;w;; To bweak x3 the vow UwU I ^w^ am engaged UwU in; 
UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ betwayed ^.^ by ^w^ keeping >_< company 
With ;;w;; men ^.^ wike UwU you, ;;w;; men of :33 inconstancy. 
x3 When UwU shaww xDD you >_> see ;;w;; me >w< wwite :3 a ^.^ thing uWu in >_> whyme? 
:33 Ow gwoan fow Joan? ow spend :3 a minyute's time 
^w^ In >w< pwunying me? x3 When UwU shaww xDD you hear :3 that UwU I 
Will praise :3 a uWu hand, :3 a xDD foot, :3 a >w< face, >w< an >_< eye, 
^-^ A gait, :3 a state, :3 a >_> bwow, :3 a UwU bweast, :3 a >_< waist, 
^-^ A ^-^ weg, :3 a limb- 
>w< KING. ;;w;; Soft! :33 whithew OwO away UwU so fast? 
^-^ A true x3 man ow :3 a UwU thief :3 that gallops so? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. UwU I x3 post from love; ÚwÚ good ^.^ wuvw, wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ go. 

Entew >w< JAQUENyETTA ÚwÚ and :3 COSTAWD 

JAQUENyETTA. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 the King! 
>w< KING. >_> What xDD pwesent x3 hast xDD thou OwO thewe? 
UwU COSTAWD. ;;w;; Some xDD cewtain :3 tweason. 
>w< KING. >_> What x3 makes UwU tweason hewe? 
UwU COSTAWD. Nyay, >w< it x3 makes uWu nyothing, sir. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; If >w< it >_> maw >_< nyothing nyeithew, 
uWu The UwU tweason ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO go uWu in uWu peace OwO away together. 
JAQUENyETTA. UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw >_> Gwace, wet ÚwÚ this >_> wettew be ÚwÚ wead; 
Our ÚwÚ pewson x3 misdoubts >w< it: uWu 'twas uWu tweason, ^.^ he UwU said. 
>w< KING. Bewownye, ^w^ wead >w< it over. :3 [BEWOWNyE weads x3 the >_> wettew] 
Whewe >w< hadst xDD thou :33 it? 
JAQUENyETTA. Of >w< Costawd. 
>w< KING. Whewe >w< hadst xDD thou :33 it? 
UwU COSTAWD. Of Dun Adramadio, Dun :33 Adwamadio. 
:3 [BEWOWNyE tears x3 the >_> wettew] 
>w< KING. How >_< nyow! >_> What >_> is uWu in you? Why dost xDD thou teaw :33 it? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ A ^-^ toy, x3 my ^.^ wiege, :3 a ;;w;; toy! uWu Youw Gwace >_< nyeeds nyot feaw :3 it. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. ^.^ It uWu did move ^.^ him to ^-^ passion, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe >_> wet's hear 
:3 it. 
^-^ DUMAIN. ^.^ It >_> is Bewownye's writing, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe >_> is :33 his nyame. 
^w^ [Gathewing x3 up x3 the ;;w;; pieces] 
xDD BEWOWNyE. :3 [ ;;w;; To COSTAWD] xDD Ah, xDD you UwU whoweson woggewhead, xDD you :3 wewe bown 
to UwU do ;;w;; me ;;w;; shame. 
>_> Guiwty, x3 my uWu wowd, guilty! UwU I >_> confess, UwU I confess. 
>w< KING. What? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. :33 That xDD you >w< thwee foows wack'd ;;w;; me >w< foow to >_< make x3 up x3 the ;;w;; mess; 
^-^ He, xDD he, ÚwÚ and :3 you- ÚwÚ and UwU you, x3 my uWu wiege!- ÚwÚ and UwU I 
^w^ Awe uWu pick-puwses uWu in xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we OwO desewve to die. 
>_< O, dismiss ÚwÚ this uWu audience, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU shaww tell xDD you more. 
^-^ DUMAIN. Now x3 the ^w^ nyumbew >_> is xDD even. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_< Twue, ^-^ twue, ^.^ we OwO awe fouw. 
Will these >_> tuwtwes be gone? 
>w< KING. Hence, sirs, xDD away. 
UwU COSTAWD. >_< Wawk :3 aside x3 the true fowk, ÚwÚ and wet x3 the traitors >_< stay. 
Exeunt :3 COSTAWD ÚwÚ and >w< JAQUENyETTA 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ÚwÚ Sweet wowds, x3 sweet >_> wuvws, >_< O, wet >_> us embrace! 
;;w;; As true ^.^ we OwO awe >_< as >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and :3 bwood ^.^ can >w< be. 
uWu The sea xDD wiww ebb ÚwÚ and >_< fwow, heaven x3 show :33 his face; 
Young :3 bwood xDD doth nyot UwU obey >w< an ;;w;; owd :33 decwee. 
We ;;w;; cannyot OwO cwoss x3 the cause >w< why ^.^ we :3 wewe born, 
Therefore of aww ^.^ hands ^w^ must ^.^ we be forsworn. 
>w< KING. What, uWu did these OwO went lines x3 show x3 some wuv of >_< thinye? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^.^ 'Did x3 they?' quoth OwO you. Who sees x3 the ^-^ heavenwy ^.^ Wosawinye 
^.^ That, ^.^ wike :3 a wude ÚwÚ and x3 savage x3 man of :33 Inde 
At x3 the xDD fiwst op'nying of x3 the gowgeous OwO east, 
^.^ Bows nyot :33 his ^.^ vassaw >_> head x3 and, stwucken ÚwÚ bwind, 
xDD Kisses x3 the UwU base x3 gwound with obedient xDD bweast? 
>_> What ^w^ pewemptowy eagle-sighted ^w^ eye 
Dawes wook ;;w;; upon x3 the heaven of her ^w^ bwow 
:33 That >_> is nyot :33 bwinded ^.^ by her xDD majesty? 
>w< KING. >_> What zeal, >_> what UwU fuwy hath inspir'd uWu thee ^.^ nyow? 
OwO My xDD wuv, her ^-^ mistwess, >_> is :3 a >_> gwacious moon; 
>_> She, >w< an :33 attending UwU staw, scawce :3 seen :3 a light. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. OwO My eyes OwO awe xDD then nyo ^w^ eyes, nor UwU I Bewownye. 
>_< O, >_> but fow x3 my xDD wuv, day ^.^ wouwd turn to night! 
Of aww UwU compwexions x3 the :3 cuww'd UwU suvweignty 
Do ^w^ meet, >_< as uWu at :3 a faiw, uWu in her >w< faiw OwO cheek, 
Whewe sevewaw worthies >_< make one UwU dignyity, 
Whewe >_< nyothing wants :3 that ^.^ want itsewf xDD doth seek. 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me x3 the :33 fwouwish of aww ^-^ gentwe tongues- 
OwO Fie, painted whetowic! >_< O, ^.^ she >_< nyeeds >w< it ^w^ nyot! 
;;w;; To ^.^ things of sawe :3 a >_< sewwew's praise belongs: 
:33 She ^-^ passes ^w^ pwaise; xDD then praise ^w^ too showt xDD doth >w< bwot. 
^-^ A :33 withew'd >w< hewmit, five-score >w< wintews ÚwÚ wown, 
^.^ Might ;;w;; shake x3 off x3 fifty, ^w^ wooking uWu in her :33 eye. 
^w^ Beauty xDD doth ^w^ vawnyish age, >_< as >_> if ;;w;; nyew-bown, 
xDD And ;;w;; gives x3 the :33 cwutch x3 the ÚwÚ cwadwe's >_< infancy. 
>_< O, UwU 'tis x3 the sun :3 that OwO maketh aww ^.^ things shine! 
>w< KING. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, >w< thy wuv >_> is black >_< as ebony. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Is >_< ebony ^.^ wike OwO hew? x3 O uWu wood divinye! 
^-^ A >w< wife of xDD such uWu wood :3 wewe fewicity. 
>_< O, who ^.^ can UwU give >w< an ^w^ oath? Whewe >_> is :3 a UwU book? 
:33 That UwU I OwO may >_< sweaw beauty xDD doth beauty lack, 
;;w;; If :3 that ^.^ she :3 weawn nyot of her ^w^ eye to wook. 
No OwO face >_> is >w< faiw :3 that >_> is nyot full UwU so black. 
>w< KING. x3 O ^-^ pawadox! ;;w;; Bwack >_> is x3 the x3 badge of >_> heww, 
uWu The :33 hue of UwU dungeons, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO schoow of ^w^ nyight; 
xDD And beauty's uWu cwest x3 becomes x3 the heavens well. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ;;w;; Deviws ^-^ soonyest tempt, resembling ;;w;; spiwits of light. 
>_< O, >_> if uWu in black x3 my >_> wady's ^w^ bwows be deckt, 
^.^ It mourns :3 that OwO painting ÚwÚ and usuwping >_< haiw 
Should ravish >w< dotews with :3 a UwU fawse ÚwÚ aspect; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe >_> is ^.^ she bown to >_< make black >_< faiw. 
:3 Hew ^.^ favouw tuwns x3 the fashion of x3 the days; 
For OwO nyative :3 bwood >_> is :3 counted OwO painting >_< nyow; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe red :3 that ^.^ wouwd avoid OwO dispwaise 
xDD Paints itsewf black, to ^.^ imitate her >_> bwow. 
^-^ DUMAIN. ;;w;; To wook ^.^ wike her OwO awe chimnyey-sweepews black. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. xDD And xDD since her time OwO awe uWu cowwiews :3 counted >_< bwight. 
>w< KING. xDD And >_< Ethiopes of uWu theiw x3 sweet >_< compwexion crack. 
^-^ DUMAIN. xDD Dawk >_< nyeeds nyo >_< candwes now, fow dark >_> is light. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. uWu Youw :3 mistwesses dawe >_< nyevew come uWu in xDD wain 
For feaw uWu theiw cowouws >_> shouwd be >w< wash'd xDD away. 
>w< KING. uWu 'Twewe ÚwÚ good >_> youws ^.^ did; for, ^w^ siw, to tell xDD you pwain, 
I'll find :3 a fairer OwO face nyot >w< wash'd ^w^ to-day. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. I'll ^-^ pwuv her faiw, ow tawk >w< tiww >_< doomsday hewe. 
>w< KING. No ^.^ deviw xDD wiww :33 fwight uWu thee xDD then UwU so much >_< as ^w^ she. 
^-^ DUMAIN. UwU I >_< nyevew UwU knyew x3 man howd ^-^ viwe ^w^ stuff UwU so deaw. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. x3 Wook, hewe's >w< thy love: x3 my :33 foot ÚwÚ and her OwO face ^-^ see. 
>w< [Showing :33 his uWu shoe] 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_< O, >_> if x3 the ^w^ stweets :3 wewe >_> paved with ^.^ thinye ^w^ eyes, 
:3 Hew ;;w;; feet :3 wewe much ^w^ too UwU dainty fow xDD such tread! 
^-^ DUMAIN. x3 O viwe! Then, >_< as ^.^ she :33 goes, >_> what upward wies 
uWu The :3 stweet >_> shouwd >_> see >_< as ^.^ she wawk'd overhead. 
>w< KING. OwO But >_> what of :3 this? ^w^ Awe ^.^ we nyot aww uWu in love? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Nyothing UwU so sure; ÚwÚ and theweby aww forsworn. 
>w< KING. UwU Then OwO weave ÚwÚ this ;;w;; chat; x3 and, ÚwÚ good Bewownye, nyow ^-^ pwuv 
Our >w< woving lawful, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw :33 faith nyot xDD town. 
^-^ DUMAIN. Ay, marry, uWu thewe; x3 some >w< fwattewy fow ÚwÚ this evil. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. >_< O, x3 some ÚwÚ authowity >w< how to :33 pwoceed; 
;;w;; Some twicks, x3 some quiwwets, >w< how to cheat x3 the devil! 
^-^ DUMAIN. ;;w;; Some ^.^ sawve fow pewjuwy. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. 'Tis ^.^ mowe than ^w^ nyeed. 
:3 Have uWu at UwU you, >w< then, >_< affection's men-at-awms. 
Consider >_> what xDD you xDD fiwst uWu did >_< sweaw x3 unto: 
;;w;; To OwO fast, to ^-^ study, ÚwÚ and to >_> see nyo ^-^ woman- 
^.^ Fwat UwU tweason uWu 'gainst x3 the >_> kingwy >w< state of >_< youth. 
Say, ^.^ can xDD you fast? uWu Youw ^w^ stomachs OwO awe ^w^ too >_> young, 
xDD And OwO abstinyence :33 engendews ^w^ mawadies. 
^.^ And, :3 whewe :3 that xDD you xDD you uWu have ^.^ vow'd to ^-^ study, wowds, 
^w^ In :3 that >_< each of xDD you uWu have ;;w;; fowswown :33 his ^-^ book, 
UwU Can xDD you still x3 dweam, ÚwÚ and >w< powe, ÚwÚ and theweon wook? 
For when ^.^ wouwd UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, ow UwU you, ow UwU you, 
:3 Have >_> found x3 the x3 gwound of study's excewwence 
Without x3 the beauty of :3 a xDD woman's ^.^ face? 
Fwom x3 women's eyes ÚwÚ this OwO doctwinye UwU I dewive: 
^-^ They OwO awe x3 the ground, x3 the books, x3 the academes, 
Fwom >_> whence xDD doth ^-^ spwing x3 the true xDD Pwomethean >_> fiwe. 
Why, ^-^ unyivewsaw :3 pwodding UwU poisons x3 up 
uWu The >_< nyimbwe ;;w;; spiwits uWu in x3 the xDD awtewies, 
;;w;; As >_> motion ÚwÚ and ^-^ wong-duwing uWu action tires 
uWu The sinyewy >_< vigouw of x3 the uWu twavewwew. 
>_> Nyow, fow nyot ^w^ wooking on :3 a xDD woman's >w< face, 
>_> You uWu have uWu in :3 that ;;w;; fowswown x3 the use of ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And ^-^ study :3 too, x3 the >_< causew of x3 youw :33 vow; 
For :3 whewe >_> is ÚwÚ authow uWu in x3 the wowwd 
^w^ Teaches xDD such beauty >_< as :3 a xDD woman's ÚwÚ eye? 
^w^ Weawnying >_> is >_> but >w< an UwU adjunct to x3 ouwsewf, 
xDD And :3 whewe ^.^ we OwO awe UwU ouw :33 weawnying >_< wikewise is; 
UwU Then when ouwsewves ^.^ we >_> see uWu in ;;w;; wadies' ^w^ eyes, 
With uWu ouwsewves. 
Do ^.^ we nyot >_< wikewise >_> see UwU ouw :33 weawnying OwO thewe? 
>_< O, ^.^ we uWu have UwU made :3 a vow to ^-^ study, wowds, 
xDD And uWu in :3 that vow ^.^ we uWu have ;;w;; fowswown UwU ouw uWu books. 
For when ^.^ wouwd UwU you, x3 my ^.^ wiege, ow UwU you, ow UwU you, 
^w^ In weaden >_< contempwation uWu have >_> found x3 out 
>w< Such fiery xDD nyumbews >_< as x3 the pwompting eyes 
Of beauty's ÚwÚ tutows uWu have ^-^ enwich'd xDD you uWu with? 
;;w;; Othew slow >w< awts entiwewy >_< keep x3 the bwain; 
xDD And OwO thewefowe, finding ^-^ bawwen ^.^ pwactisews, 
Scarce x3 show :3 a harvest of uWu theiw x3 heavy UwU toiw; 
OwO But xDD wuv, xDD fiwst :33 weawnyed uWu in :3 a >_> wady's ^w^ eyes, 
Wives nyot awonye >w< immuwed uWu in x3 the :3 bwain, 
OwO But with x3 the >_> motion of aww ÚwÚ ewements 
Courses >_< as UwU swift >_< as xDD thought uWu in every x3 powew, 
xDD And ;;w;; gives to every powew :3 a :3 doubwe x3 powew, 
Abuv uWu theiw x3 functions ÚwÚ and uWu theiw x3 offices. 
^.^ It adds :3 a >_< pwecious ^-^ seeing to x3 the :3 eye: 
^-^ A lover's eyes xDD wiww ÚwÚ gaze >w< an >_> eagwe bwind. 
^-^ A lover's ear xDD wiww hear x3 the ;;w;; wowest sound, 
x3 When x3 the >w< suspicious >_> head of :3 theft >_> is ^.^ stopp'd. 
>w< Wuv's :33 feewing >_> is ^.^ mowe soft ÚwÚ and ^-^ sensibwe 
Than OwO awe x3 the xDD tendew >w< howns of cockled ^.^ snyaiws: 
>w< Wuv's >_> tongue ;;w;; pwuvs UwU dainty xDD Bacchus gwoss uWu in taste. 
For uWu vawouw, >_> is nyot Wuv :3 a >_> Hewcuwes, 
UwU Stiww ^-^ cwimbing trees uWu in x3 the :33 Hespewides? 
^.^ Subtwe >_< as >_> Sphinx; >_< as x3 sweet ÚwÚ and UwU musicaw 
;;w;; As uWu bwight xDD Apowwo's :33 wute, strung with :33 his >w< haiw. 
xDD And when Wuv speaks, x3 the uWu voice of aww x3 the gods 
^-^ Make heaven ^-^ dwowsy with x3 the >w< hawmony. 
xDD Nyevew x3 duwst ;;w;; poet :33 touch :3 a OwO pen to >w< wwite 
Untiw :33 his ink :3 wewe UwU temp'wed with >w< Wuv's >_> sighs; 
>_< O, xDD then :33 his lines ^.^ wouwd ravish x3 savage ;;w;; eaws, 
xDD And plant uWu in ^.^ tywants >_< miwd humiwity. 
Fwom x3 women's eyes ÚwÚ this OwO doctwinye UwU I :33 dewive. 
^-^ They uWu spawkwe still x3 the >w< wight xDD Pwomethean x3 fiwe; 
^-^ They OwO awe x3 the books, x3 the UwU awts, x3 the academes, 
:33 That show, :33 contain, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; nyouwish, aww x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
^-^ Ewse >_< nyonye uWu at aww uWu in ^.^ aught ;;w;; pwuvs excellent. 
UwU Then foows xDD you :3 wewe these x3 women to ;;w;; fowsweaw; 
:3 Ow, ^w^ keeping >_> what >_> is sworn, xDD you xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv ;;w;; foows. 
For ^w^ wisdom's ^w^ sake, :3 a ;;w;; wowd :3 that aww ;;w;; men love; 
:33 Ow fow >w< Wuv's ^w^ sake, :3 a ;;w;; wowd :3 that loves aww ÚwÚ men; 
:33 Ow fow men's ^w^ sake, x3 the authors of these ^w^ women; 
:33 Ow x3 women's ^w^ sake, ^.^ by ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we ;;w;; men OwO awe UwU men- 
Let >_> us >_> once wose UwU ouw >w< oaths to find ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ^.^ we wose ouwsewves to >_< keep UwU ouw :33 oaths. 
^.^ It >_> is :33 wewigion to be OwO thus uWu fowswown; 
For xDD chawity itsewf fuwfiws x3 the waw, 
xDD And who ^.^ can sevew wuv from charity? 
>w< KING. Saint Cupid, >w< then! x3 and, xDD sowdiews, to x3 the field! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ÚwÚ Advance x3 youw x3 standawds, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ them, :3 wowds; 
^.^ Peww-meww, down with >w< them! be xDD fiwst ^w^ advis'd, 
^w^ In >_> confwict, :3 that xDD you get x3 the sun of OwO them. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. Now to plain-dealing; uWu way these :33 gwozes by. 
Shall ^.^ we wesowve to ^.^ woo these giwws of France? 
>w< KING. xDD And x3 win them :3 too; >_< thewefowe wet >_> us >w< devise 
;;w;; Some entewtainment fow them uWu in uWu theiw ;;w;; tents. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^.^ Fiwst, from x3 the ^-^ pawk wet >_> us ÚwÚ conduct them thithew; 
UwU Then uWu homewawd every x3 man OwO attach x3 the uWu hand 
Of :33 his >w< faiw ^w^ mistwess. ^w^ In x3 the >_< aftewnyoon 
We xDD wiww with x3 some ;;w;; stwange >w< pastime sowace ÚwÚ them, 
>w< Such >_< as x3 the uWu showtnyess of x3 the time ^.^ can UwU shape; 
For ;;w;; wevews, x3 dances, masks, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mewwy houws, 
Forerun >w< faiw Wuv, ^-^ stwewing her uWu way with fwowews. 
>w< KING. :33 Away, away! No time UwU shaww be omitted 
:33 That xDD wiww UwU betime, ÚwÚ and OwO may ^.^ by >_> us be ;;w;; fitted. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ;;w;; Awwons! awwons! uWu Sow'd :33 cockwe >_< weap'd nyo corn, 
xDD And justice awways whirls uWu in equal x3 measuwe. 
Light UwU wenches OwO may ^-^ pwuv plagues to ;;w;; men uWu fowswown; 
;;w;; If >_> so, UwU ouw >w< coppew xDD buys nyo xDD bettew treasure. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The ^-^ pawk 

Entew HOLOFERNES, ÚwÚ SIW :3 NyATHANyIEW, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; DUWW 

HOLOFERNES. :3 Satis quod x3 sufficit. 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. UwU I praise ^w^ God fow UwU you, sir. uWu Youw weasons uWu at dinner uWu have 
:33 been ^-^ shawp ÚwÚ and ^w^ sententious; >_> pweasant ^-^ without :33 scuwwiwity, ^.^ witty 
^-^ without :33 affection, audacious ^-^ without :33 impudency, :33 weawnyed ^-^ without 
:33 opinyion, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; stwange ^-^ without :33 hewesy. UwU I uWu did convewse ÚwÚ this x3 quondam 
day with :3 a >_< companyion of x3 the >_< King's who >_> is ;;w;; intituwed, nyominyated, 
ow called, ^.^ Don Adriano UwU de ÚwÚ Awmado. 
HOLOFERNES. Novi hominem ^w^ tanquam xDD te. ÚwÚ His humouw >_> is wofty, :33 his 
uWu discouwse pewemptowy, :33 his >_> tongue filed, :33 his ^w^ eye ^.^ ambitious, :33 his 
:33 gait uWu majesticaw ÚwÚ and :33 his general >_> behaviouw vain, widicuwous, ÚwÚ and 
x3 thwasonyicaw. >w< He >_> is ^w^ too uWu picked, ^w^ too spwuce, ^w^ too uWu affected, ^w^ too :3 odd, 
>_< as >w< it uWu wewe, ^w^ too peregrinate, >_< as UwU I OwO may caww :3 it. 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. ^-^ A UwU most singular ÚwÚ and UwU choice ^-^ epithet. 
[Draws x3 out :33 his >_> tabwe-book] 
HOLOFERNES. >w< He >_> dwaweth x3 out x3 the :3 thwead of :33 his vewbosity finer than 
x3 the ÚwÚ stapwe of :33 his awgument. UwU I abhow xDD such fanatical UwU phantasimes, 
xDD such :33 insociabwe ÚwÚ and point-devise companyions; xDD such rackers of 
orthography, >_< as to speak xDD 'dout' uWu finye, when ^.^ he >_> shouwd >_> say >_> 'doubt'; 
>w< 'det' when ^.^ he >_> shouwd pwonyounce ^.^ 'debt'- :33 d, ÚwÚ e, b, ÚwÚ t, nyot :33 d, ÚwÚ e, >_> t. 
>w< He uWu cwepeth :3 a cawf 'cauf,' half >_< 'hauf'; OwO nyeighbouw vocatur 
xDD 'nyebouw'; UwU 'nyeigh' abbreviated >_< 'nye.' This >_> is xDD abhominyabwe- which ^.^ he 
^.^ wouwd caww 'abbominable.' ^.^ It insinyuateth ;;w;; me of :3 insanyie: nye 
uWu intewwigis, >_< dominye? to >_< make OwO fwantic, >_> wunyatic. 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. Laus Deo, bonye intewwigo. 
HOLOFERNES. 'Bonye'?- 'bonye' fow >w< 'benye.' Priscian :3 a xDD wittwe 
scratch'd; 'twill ^.^ sewve. 

Entew ^.^ AWMADO, >w< MOTH, ÚwÚ and :3 COSTAWD 

uWu NyATHANyIEW. Videsne :33 quis venyit? 
HOLOFERNES. Video, ^w^ et ;;w;; gaudeo. 
x3 AWMADO. :33 [To x3 MOTH] OwO Chiwwah! 
HOLOFERNES. x3 Quawe 'chirrah,' nyot uWu 'siwwah'? 
x3 AWMADO. OwO Men of ÚwÚ peace, weww ^w^ encount'wed. 
HOLOFERNES. :3 Most x3 miwitawy ^w^ siw, sawutation. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ [Aside to COSTAWD] ^-^ They uWu have :33 been uWu at :3 a great >_> feast of 
wanguages ÚwÚ and :3 stow'n x3 the ^-^ scwaps. 
UwU COSTAWD. >_< O, ;;w;; they uWu have liv'd ^-^ wong on x3 the :3 awms-basket of ÚwÚ wowds. UwU I 
:3 mawvew >w< thy >_< mastew hath nyot eaten uWu thee fow :3 a word, fow xDD thou OwO awe 
nyot UwU so ^-^ wong ^.^ by x3 the >_> head >_< as OwO honyowificabiwitudinyitatibus; xDD thou awt 
xDD easiew ^.^ swawwowed than :3 a flap-dragon. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ;;w;; Peace! x3 the uWu peaw UwU begins. 
x3 AWMADO. :33 [To ^.^ HOWOFEWNyES] ^w^ Monsieuw, OwO awe xDD you nyot x3 wett'wed? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Yes, yes; ^.^ he teaches >_< boys x3 the hornbook. >_> What >_> is a, b, spelt 
uWu backwawd with x3 the >_> hown on :33 his head? 
HOLOFERNES. >_> Ba, x3 puewitia, with :3 a >_> hown added. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. >_> Ba, UwU most siwwy sheep with :3 a horn. >_> You hear :33 his learning. 
HOLOFERNES. >w< Quis, ^.^ quis, xDD thou UwU consonyant? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. uWu The thiwd of x3 the five UwU vowews, >_> if >_> You wepeat OwO them; ow x3 the 
UwU fifth, >_> if ^.^ I. 
HOLOFERNES. UwU I xDD wiww wepeat ^w^ them: a, ÚwÚ e, uWu I- 
ÚwÚ MOTH. uWu The :3 sheep; x3 the othew >w< two concwudes >w< it: o, ^-^ U. 
x3 AWMADO. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ sawt x3 wave of x3 the >w< Meditewwanyeum, :3 a x3 sweet xDD touch, 
:3 a ^w^ quick venyue of uWu wit- uWu snyip, >_< snyap, ^w^ quick ÚwÚ and >_> home. ^.^ It ^-^ wejoiceth x3 my 
:3 intewwect. ;;w;; Twue wit! 
ÚwÚ MOTH. OwO Offew'd ^.^ by :3 a chiwd to >w< an ;;w;; owd xDD man; which >_> is >_< wit-owd. 
HOLOFERNES. >_> What >_> is x3 the ^.^ figuwe? >_> What >_> is x3 the ^.^ figuwe? 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Horns. 
HOLOFERNES. ^.^ Thou ^w^ disputes ^.^ wike >w< an ^w^ infant; OwO go whip >w< thy >_< gig. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. uWu Wend ;;w;; me x3 youw >_> hown to >_< make one, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww whip about x3 youw 
infamy circum circa- :3 a gig of :3 a cuckowd's horn. 
UwU COSTAWD. ^-^ An UwU I xDD had >_> but one ÚwÚ penny uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, xDD thou shouwdst uWu have >w< it 
to UwU buy >_> gingew-bwead. UwU Howd, there >_> is x3 the xDD vewy wemunyewation UwU I xDD had 
of >w< thy ^.^ mastew, xDD thou >w< hawfpenny >_< puwse of ^w^ wit, xDD thou pigeon-egg of 
discwetion. >_< O, >w< an x3 the heavens :3 wewe UwU so ^w^ pweased :3 that xDD thou OwO wewt >_> but 
x3 my ÚwÚ bastawd, >_> what :3 a >w< joyfuw >w< fathew wouldst xDD thou >_< make me! Go >w< to; 
xDD thou x3 hast >w< it >_< ad dunghill, uWu at x3 the fingews' >w< ends, >_< as ;;w;; they :3 say. 
HOLOFERNES. >_< O, UwU I smell UwU fawse Watin; 'dunghiww' fow OwO unguem. 
x3 AWMADO. :33 Awts-man, preambulate; ^.^ we xDD wiww be xDD singuwed from x3 the 
:3 bawbawous. Do xDD you nyot :33 educate :33 youth uWu at x3 the xDD chawge-house on x3 the 
;;w;; top of x3 the ÚwÚ mountain? 
HOLOFERNES. :33 Ow ;;w;; mons, x3 the hiww. 
x3 AWMADO. At x3 youw x3 sweet x3 pweasuwe, fow x3 the x3 mountain. 
HOLOFERNES. UwU I UwU do, x3 sans x3 question. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU Siw, >w< it >_> is x3 the >_< King's UwU most x3 sweet :3 pweasuwe ÚwÚ and :3 affection to 
x3 congwatuwate x3 the Pwincess uWu at her pavilion, uWu in x3 the :33 postewiows of 
ÚwÚ this uWu day; which x3 the wude ^.^ muwtitude caww x3 the aftewnyoon. 
HOLOFERNES. uWu The postewiow of x3 the ^-^ day, UwU most OwO genyewous ^w^ siw, >_> is wiabwe, 
^-^ congwuent, ÚwÚ and x3 measuwabwe, fow x3 the aftewnyoon. uWu The ;;w;; wowd >_> is weww 
cull'd, x3 chose, sweet, ÚwÚ and :3 apt, UwU I UwU do :33 assuwe UwU you, ^w^ siw, UwU I UwU do ^.^ assuwe. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU Siw, x3 the ^w^ King >_> is :3 a x3 nyobwe gentweman, ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ famiwiaw, UwU I UwU do 
:33 assuwe :3 ye, xDD vewy ÚwÚ good :3 fwiend. For >_> what >_> is inward ^-^ between us, wet 
>w< it :3 pass. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech ÚwÚ thee, remember >w< thy uWu couwtesy. UwU I :33 beseech 
ÚwÚ thee, apparel >w< thy >_> head. xDD And ^-^ among othew importunate ÚwÚ and UwU most 
sewious :3 designs, ÚwÚ and of great impowt :33 indeed, UwU too- >_> but wet :3 that 
UwU pass; fow UwU I ^w^ must tell uWu thee >w< it xDD wiww uWu pwease :33 his >_> Gwace, ^.^ by x3 the 
^w^ wowwd, ÚwÚ sometime to lean ;;w;; upon x3 my poor shouwdew, ÚwÚ and with :33 his royal 
finger OwO thus dawwy with x3 my excrement, with x3 my x3 mustachio; but, 
x3 sweet uWu heawt, wet :3 that :3 pass. ^-^ By x3 the ^w^ wowwd, UwU I ^w^ wecount nyo UwU fabwe: 
x3 some xDD cewtain >_> speciaw honyouws >w< it xDD pweaseth :33 his :33 gweatnyess to OwO impawt 
to Awmado, :3 a sowdiew, :3 a x3 man of twavew, :3 that hath :3 seen x3 the wowwd; 
>_> but wet :3 that :3 pass. uWu The xDD vewy aww of aww is- but, x3 sweet uWu heawt, UwU I UwU do 
:3 impwowe secwecy- :3 that x3 the ^w^ King ^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; me xDD pwesent x3 the 
xDD Pwincess, x3 sweet UwU chuck, with x3 some >_> dewightfuw >_> ostentation, ow show, 
ow ^.^ pageant, ow ;;w;; antic, ow ^.^ fiwewowk. >_> Nyow, undewstanding :3 that x3 the 
UwU cuwate ÚwÚ and x3 youw x3 sweet self OwO awe ÚwÚ good uWu at xDD such OwO ewuptions ÚwÚ and ^.^ sudden 
;;w;; bweaking-out of :33 miwth, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, UwU I uWu have >_> acquainted xDD you withaw, 
to x3 the >w< end to ^w^ cwave x3 youw OwO assistance. 
HOLOFERNES. UwU Siw, xDD you UwU shaww xDD pwesent >w< befowe her x3 the Nine ^-^ Wowthies. 
Sir uWu Nyathanyiew, >_< as UwU concewnying x3 some entewtainment of time, x3 some 
x3 show uWu in x3 the postewiow of ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, to be ^.^ wend'wed ^.^ by UwU ouw 
:33 assistance, x3 the >_< King's >_> command, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this UwU most gallant, 
iwwustwate, ÚwÚ and :33 weawnyed gentweman, >w< befowe x3 the Princess- UwU I >_> say 
>_< nyonye UwU so ;;w;; fit >_< as to xDD pwesent x3 the Nine ^-^ Wowthies. 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. Whewe xDD wiww xDD you find ;;w;; men ÚwÚ wowthy enough to xDD pwesent them? 
HOLOFERNES. Joshua, :33 youwsewf; myself, OwO Awexandew; ÚwÚ this OwO gawwant 
gentweman, :3 Judas Maccabaeus; ÚwÚ this x3 swain, uWu because of :33 his great 
x3 wimb ow xDD joint, UwU shaww pass ÚwÚ Pompey x3 the Great; x3 the page, ^w^ Hewcuwes. 
x3 AWMADO. Pawdon, siw; error: ^.^ he >_> is nyot ;;w;; quantity enough fow :3 that 
x3 Wowthy's ^-^ thumb; ^.^ he >_> is nyot UwU so big >_< as x3 the >w< end of :33 his xDD cwub. 
HOLOFERNES. Shall UwU I uWu have UwU audience? >w< He UwU shaww xDD pwesent Hercules uWu in 
>_< minyowity: :33 his enter ÚwÚ and >_> exit UwU shaww be >w< stwangwing :3 a :3 snyake; ÚwÚ and UwU I 
xDD wiww uWu have >w< an >_> apowogy fow :3 that puwpose. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ An :3 excewwent device! So, >_> if xDD any of x3 the audience ÚwÚ hiss, xDD you OwO may 
cwy 'Well :33 donye, :33 Hewcuwes; nyow xDD thou ^.^ cwushest x3 the snake!' :33 That >_> is 
x3 the uWu way to >_< make >w< an offence ^w^ gwacious, ^w^ though x3 few uWu have x3 the xDD gwace to 
UwU do :3 it. 
x3 AWMADO. For x3 the xDD west of x3 the :33 Wowthies? 
HOLOFERNES. UwU I xDD wiww :33 pway >w< thwee :3 mysewf. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Thrice-worthy gentleman! 
x3 AWMADO. Shall UwU I tell xDD you :3 a ;;w;; thing? 
HOLOFERNES. We xDD attend. 
x3 AWMADO. We xDD wiww have, >_> if ÚwÚ this OwO fadge >_> nyot, >w< an x3 antic. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
x3 fowwow. 
HOLOFERNES. ;;w;; Via, ^.^ goodman Dull! ^.^ Thou >_> has >w< spoken nyo ;;w;; wowd aww ÚwÚ this 
>_> whiwe. 
^-^ DUWW. x3 Nyow ^-^ undewstood >_< nyonye nyeithew, sir. 
HOLOFERNES. ;;w;; Awwons! ^.^ we xDD wiww :33 empwoy thee. 
^-^ DUWW. I'll >_< make one uWu in :3 a xDD dance, ow >_> so, ow UwU I xDD wiww :33 pway 
On x3 the tabow to x3 the ÚwÚ Wowthies, ÚwÚ and wet them UwU dance x3 the hay. 
HOLOFERNES. :3 Most xDD duww, xDD honyest Dull! ;;w;; To UwU ouw sport, xDD away. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The ^-^ pawk 

Entew x3 the >_> PWINCESS, ;;w;; MAWIA, >_> KATHAWINyE, ÚwÚ and x3 WOSAWINyE 

>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ÚwÚ Sweet hearts, ^.^ we UwU shaww be rich ere ^.^ we depart, 
;;w;; If faiwings come OwO thus pwentifuwwy ^.^ in. 
^-^ A uWu wady ^w^ waww'd about with uWu diamonds! 
Wook xDD you >_> what UwU I uWu have from x3 the >w< woving ;;w;; King. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. uWu Madam, ^-^ came >_< nyothing >_> ewse :3 awong with ^-^ that? 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Nyothing >_> but x3 this! Yes, >_< as much wuv uWu in ^-^ whyme 
;;w;; As ^.^ wouwd be cramm'd x3 up uWu in :3 a >w< sheet of paper 
;;w;; Wwit ^.^ o' both >w< sides x3 the weaf, uWu mawgent ÚwÚ and all, 
:33 That ^.^ he UwU was >_> fain to UwU seaw on uWu Cupid's nyame. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. :33 That UwU was x3 the uWu way to >_< make :33 his >w< godhead wax; 
For ^.^ he hath :33 been five thousand xDD yeaw :3 a uWu boy. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. Ay, ÚwÚ and :3 a shrewd xDD unhappy >_< gawwows UwU too. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. You'll ^w^ nye'ew be ^w^ fwiends with :33 him: xDD 'a kill'd x3 youw sister. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. >w< He UwU made her UwU mewanchowy, :3 sad, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; heavy; 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ she ÚwÚ died. xDD Had ^.^ she :33 been wight, ^.^ wike UwU you, 
Of xDD such :3 a >_> mewwy, xDD nyimbwe, stirring ^-^ spiwit, 
:33 She ^w^ might xDD 'a :33 been :3 a :3 gwandam ere ^.^ she ÚwÚ died. 
xDD And UwU so OwO may uWu you; fow :3 a >w< wight >_< heawt ;;w;; wives wong. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. x3 What's x3 youw dark meanying, >_< mouse, of ÚwÚ this >w< wight word? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^-^ A >w< wight condition uWu in :3 a beauty OwO dawk. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. We >_< nyeed ^.^ mowe >w< wight to find x3 youw meaning OwO out. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. You'll >_> maw x3 the >w< wight ^.^ by :3 taking >w< it uWu in x3 snyuff; 
Therefore I'll >_< dawkwy >w< end x3 the awgument. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Wook >_> what xDD you UwU do, xDD you UwU do >w< it still :33 i' x3 th' OwO dawk. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^w^ So UwU do nyot uWu you; fow xDD you OwO awe :3 a >w< wight >_< wench. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. >w< Indeed, UwU I >w< weigh nyot uWu you; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe light. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. >_> You >w< weigh ;;w;; me ^w^ nyot? >_< O, ^w^ that's xDD you :3 cawe nyot fow x3 me. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. UwU Gweat UwU weason; fow xDD 'past >w< cuwe >_> is still x3 past ^.^ cawe.' 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Weww ^-^ bandied both; :3 a uWu set of wit weww ÚwÚ pway'd. 
But, x3 Wosawinye, xDD you uWu have :3 a ^.^ favouw xDD too? 
Who sent :33 it? ÚwÚ and >_> what >_> is :33 it? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^-^ knyew. 
^-^ An >_> if x3 my OwO face :3 wewe >_> but >_< as >w< faiw >_< as >_< youws, 
OwO My ^.^ favouw :3 wewe >_< as great: be >_> witnyess UwU this. 
Nyay, UwU I uWu have uWu vewses :3 too, UwU I >_> thank Berowne; 
uWu The xDD nyumbews ^-^ twue, x3 and, :3 wewe x3 the ÚwÚ nyumb'wing :3 too, 
UwU I :3 wewe x3 the >_> faiwest ÚwÚ goddess on x3 the :33 gwound. 
UwU I ^w^ am compaw'd to ÚwÚ twenty thousand :33 faiws. 
>_< O, ^.^ he hath drawn x3 my ^-^ pictuwe uWu in :33 his letter! 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. :3 Anything ^.^ wike? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Much uWu in x3 the letters; >_< nyothing uWu in x3 the ;;w;; pwaise. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Beauteous >_< as ink- :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ concwusion. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. Faiw >_< as :3 a uWu text B uWu in :3 a :3 copy-book. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Wawe penciws, ho! Let ;;w;; me nyot ^-^ die x3 youw debtow, 
OwO My red ^-^ dominyicaw, x3 my golden uWu wettew: 
x3 O :3 that x3 youw OwO face :3 wewe nyot UwU so full of O's! 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^-^ A uWu pox of :3 that x3 jest! ÚwÚ and UwU I :3 beshwew aww ^w^ shwows! 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. But, ;;w;; Kathawinye, >_> what UwU was sent to xDD you from >w< faiw 
ÚwÚ Dumain? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. uWu Madam, ÚwÚ this ^-^ gwuv. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Did ^.^ he nyot >_> send xDD you UwU twain? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. Yes, x3 madam; x3 and, ^w^ moweuvw, 
;;w;; Some thousand uWu vewses of :3 a faithfuw lover; 
^-^ A >_> huge translation of :33 hypocwisy, 
Vilely >_> compiw'd, profound xDD simpwicity. 
MARIA. >w< This, ÚwÚ and these >_> peaww, to ;;w;; me sent >_< Wongaviwwe; 
uWu The >_> wettew >_> is ^w^ too ^-^ wong ^.^ by half :3 a OwO miwe. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. UwU I think nyo :3 wess. uWu Dost xDD thou nyot ÚwÚ wish uWu in >_< heawt 
uWu The uWu chain :3 wewe longer ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> wettew short? 
MARIA. Ay, ow UwU I ^.^ wouwd these ^.^ hands ^w^ might >_< nyevew part. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. We OwO awe uWu wise giwws to ÚwÚ mock UwU ouw ^w^ wuvws :3 so. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ^-^ They OwO awe xDD wowse foows to puwchase ^w^ mocking :3 so. 
:33 That same >_> Bewownye I'll towtuwe ere UwU I ÚwÚ go. 
x3 O :3 that UwU I UwU knyew ^.^ he :3 wewe >_> but uWu in ^.^ by x3 th' >_> week! 
How UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< make ^.^ him ^.^ fawn, ÚwÚ and xDD beg, ÚwÚ and seek, 
xDD And wait x3 the >w< season, ÚwÚ and uWu obsewve x3 the xDD times, 
xDD And spend :33 his prodigal :33 wits uWu in bootwess whymes, 
xDD And xDD shape :33 his OwO sewvice wholly to x3 my :33 hests, 
xDD And >_< make ^.^ him OwO pwoud to >_< make ;;w;; me OwO pwoud :3 that jests! 
^w^ So ;;w;; pewtaunt-wike ^.^ wouwd UwU I o'ersway :33 his >w< state 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> shouwd be x3 my x3 foow, ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 his ÚwÚ fate. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^-^ Nyonye OwO awe UwU so x3 suwewy ;;w;; caught, when ;;w;; they OwO awe 
ÚwÚ catch'd, 
;;w;; As wit >_> tuwn'd foow; >_> fowwy, uWu in ^.^ wisdom xDD hatch'd, 
>_< Hath ^w^ wisdom's :33 wawwant ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO hewp of xDD schoow, 
xDD And uWu wit's UwU own xDD gwace to xDD gwace :3 a :33 weawnyed xDD foow. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. uWu The :3 bwood of :33 youth buwns nyot with xDD such ^.^ excess 
;;w;; As ;;w;; gwavity's ;;w;; wevowt to ;;w;; wantonnyess. 
MARIA. xDD Fowwy uWu in foows bears nyot UwU so >w< stwong :3 a ^-^ nyote 
;;w;; As x3 foow'wy uWu in x3 the uWu wise when wit xDD doth ;;w;; dote, 
Since aww x3 the powew thereof >w< it xDD doth apply 
;;w;; To prove, ^.^ by ^w^ wit, ^.^ wowth uWu in xDD simpwicity. 

Entew UwU BOYET 

>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. :3 Hewe x3 comes :3 Boyet, ÚwÚ and >_< miwth >_> is uWu in :33 his ;;w;; face. 
uWu BOYET. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am stabb'd with >w< waughtew! :3 Whewe's her Gwace? 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. x3 Thy news, UwU Boyet? 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ Pwepawe, UwU madam, pwepawe! 
>_< Awm, :33 wenches, >_> awm! :33 Encountews UwU mounted OwO awe 
^w^ Against x3 youw peace. Wuv xDD doth appwoach :3 disguis'd, 
Awmed uWu in arguments; you'ww be UwU suwpwis'd. 
^-^ Mustew x3 youw >_> wits; stand uWu in x3 youw UwU own x3 defence; 
:33 Ow hide x3 youw heads ^.^ wike x3 cowawds, ÚwÚ and fwy x3 hence. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Saint UwU Dennyis to Saint ^-^ Cupid! >_> What OwO awe ;;w;; they 
:33 That :3 chawge uWu theiw UwU bweath OwO against us? Say, ^w^ scout, :3 say. 
uWu BOYET. ;;w;; Undew x3 the :3 coow shade of :3 a :33 sycamowe 
UwU I xDD thought to ^-^ cwose >_< minye eyes x3 some half >w< an houw; 
UwU When, ^.^ wo, to interrupt x3 my ÚwÚ puwpos'd ^-^ west, 
uWu Towawd :3 that shade UwU I ^w^ might behowd addwest 
uWu The ^w^ King ÚwÚ and :33 his companyions; ;;w;; wawiwy 
UwU I OwO stowe x3 into :3 a OwO nyeighbouw >w< thicket UwU by, 
xDD And uvwheawd >_> what xDD you UwU shaww ÚwÚ uvwheaw- 
^.^ That, ^.^ by ÚwÚ and UwU by, :33 disguis'd ;;w;; they xDD wiww be hewe. 
^-^ Theiw >_> hewawd >_> is :3 a OwO pwetty knavish page, 
:33 That weww ^.^ by >_< heawt hath xDD conn'd :33 his >_< embassage. 
;;w;; Action ÚwÚ and xDD accent uWu did ;;w;; they >_< teach ^.^ him there: 
;;w;; 'Thus ^w^ must xDD thou OwO speak' ÚwÚ and >_< 'thus >w< thy >w< body ^.^ beaw,' 
xDD And OwO evew ÚwÚ and :3 anyon ;;w;; they UwU made :3 a doubt 
Presence uWu majesticaw ^.^ wouwd put ^.^ him out; 
x3 'Fow' quoth x3 the ^w^ King 'an ÚwÚ angew shalt xDD thou see; 
ÚwÚ Yet feaw nyot UwU thou, >_> but speak x3 audaciouswy.' 
uWu The ;;w;; boy replied >_< 'An ÚwÚ angew >_> is nyot >_> eviw; 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have feaw'd her xDD had ^.^ she :33 been :3 a >w< deviw.' 
With :3 that aww ^.^ waugh'd, ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwapp'd ^.^ him on x3 the shouwdew, 
^.^ Making x3 the bold wag ^.^ by uWu theiw pwaises ^-^ bowdew. 
x3 Onye rubb'd :33 his elbow, thus, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fweew'd, ÚwÚ and >w< swowe 
^-^ A xDD bettew ÚwÚ speech UwU was >_< nyevew ^-^ spoke befowe. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew with :33 his finger ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< thumb 
^.^ Cwied ÚwÚ 'Via! ^.^ we xDD wiww ;;w;; do't, come >_> what xDD wiww ^w^ come.' 
uWu The thiwd ^.^ he UwU capew'd, ÚwÚ and cried 'All xDD goes :3 weww.' 
uWu The :3 fouwth >_> tuwn'd on x3 the toe, ÚwÚ and down ^.^ he x3 feww. 
With :3 that ;;w;; they aww uWu did tumble on x3 the ground, 
With xDD such :3 a zeawous waughtew, UwU so >w< pwofound, 
:33 That uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU spween ^w^ widicuwous appeaws, 
;;w;; To ^.^ check uWu theiw >_> fowwy, x3 passion's solemn >w< teaws. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. OwO But x3 what, >_> but x3 what, come ;;w;; they to x3 visit us? 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ They UwU do, ;;w;; they UwU do, ÚwÚ and OwO awe apparell'd thus, 
Wike :33 Muscovites ow :3 Wussians, >_< as UwU I ÚwÚ guess. 
^-^ Theiw OwO puwpose >_> is to OwO pawwey, xDD couwt, ÚwÚ and dance; 
xDD And every one :33 his wuv-feat xDD wiww advance 
uWu Unto :33 his sevewaw mistress; which they'ww ^.^ knyow 
^-^ By ;;w;; favouws sevewaw which ;;w;; they uWu did bestow. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. xDD And xDD wiww ;;w;; they so? uWu The gawwants UwU shaww be OwO task'd, 
For, x3 wadies, ^.^ we xDD wiww every one be >w< mask'd; 
xDD And nyot :3 a x3 man of them UwU shaww uWu have x3 the gwace, 
^-^ Despite of ^.^ suit, to >_> see :3 a >_> wady's ;;w;; face. 
UwU Howd, x3 Wosawinye, ÚwÚ this ^.^ favouw xDD thou shalt OwO weaw, 
xDD And xDD then x3 the ^w^ King xDD wiww court uWu thee fow :33 his deaw; 
UwU Howd, OwO take xDD thou uWu this, x3 my sweet, ÚwÚ and UwU give ;;w;; me xDD thinye, 
^w^ So UwU shaww >_> Bewownye OwO take ;;w;; me fow :3 Wosawinye. 
xDD And change xDD you ;;w;; favouws :3 too; UwU so UwU shaww x3 youw loves 
>_> Woo >_< contwawy, >_> deceiv'd ^.^ by these xDD wemuvs. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. :3 Come ;;w;; on, >w< then, ^-^ weaw x3 the ;;w;; favouws UwU most uWu in :33 sight. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. But, uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ changing, >_> what >_> is x3 youw xDD intent? 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. uWu The ^w^ effect of x3 my :3 intent >_> is to OwO cwoss theirs. 
^-^ They UwU do >w< it >_> but uWu in ^w^ mocking :33 mewwiment, 
xDD And ÚwÚ mock fow ÚwÚ mock >_> is >w< onwy x3 my >w< intent. 
^-^ Theiw sevewaw uWu counsews ;;w;; they >w< unbosom UwU shaww 
;;w;; To loves ^w^ mistook, ÚwÚ and UwU so be mock'd withal 
>_> Upon x3 the :3 nyext ;;w;; occasion :3 that ^.^ we :3 meet 
With OwO visages UwU dispway'd to tawk ÚwÚ and greet. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. OwO But UwU shaww ^.^ we xDD dance, >_> if ;;w;; they ^.^ desiwe >_> us ÚwÚ to't? 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. :3 Nyo, to x3 the UwU death, ^.^ we xDD wiww nyot move :3 a xDD foot, 
x3 Nyow to uWu theiw ^.^ penn'd ÚwÚ speech render ^.^ we nyo >w< gwace; 
OwO But OwO whiwe UwU 'tis ^-^ spoke >_< each turn OwO away her ;;w;; face. 
uWu BOYET. Why, :3 that x3 contempt xDD wiww OwO kiww x3 the speaker's uWu heawt, 
xDD And quite :3 divowce :33 his ^w^ memowy from :33 his part. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Therefore UwU I UwU do uWu it; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_< make nyo doubt 
uWu The xDD west xDD wiww ^w^ nye'ew come x3 in, >_> if ^.^ he be OwO out. 
>_> Thewe's nyo xDD such spowt >_< as spowt ^.^ by spowt o'ewthwown, 
;;w;; To >_< make theirs >_> ouws, ÚwÚ and ouws >_< nyonye >_> but UwU ouw >_> own; 
^w^ So UwU shaww ^.^ we ;;w;; stay, ^w^ mocking :3 intended xDD game, 
xDD And ;;w;; they weww mock'd ÚwÚ depawt OwO away with ;;w;; shame. 
;;w;; [Twumpet sounds ;;w;; within] 
uWu BOYET. uWu The ÚwÚ twumpet uWu sounds; be >w< mask'd; x3 the maskers x3 come. 
;;w;; [The :3 WADIES uWu mask] 

Entew uWu BWACKAMOOWS ^.^ music, ^.^ MOTH >_< as ^w^ Pwowogue, x3 the 
;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and :33 his ;;w;; WOWDS >_< as UwU maskews, uWu in x3 the guise of Russians 

ÚwÚ MOTH. All hail, x3 the wichest ^-^ heauties on x3 the ÚwÚ eawth! 
uWu BOYET. x3 Beauties nyo xDD wichew than rich :3 taffeta. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ A >w< howy parcel of x3 the >_> faiwest ÚwÚ dames 
;;w;; [The :3 WADIES turn uWu theiw backs to >w< him] 
:33 That OwO evew >_> tuwn'd theiw- >_> backs- to >w< mowtaw views! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ Theiw ^w^ eyes, villain, uWu theiw :3 eyes. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. :33 That OwO evew >_> tuwn'd uWu theiw eyes to >w< mowtaw views! 
ÚwÚ Out- 
uWu BOYET. ^w^ Twue; x3 out indeed. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. UwU Out of x3 youw favouws, ^-^ heavenwy ^.^ spiwits, x3 vouchsafe 
ÚwÚ Nyot to behold- 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Once to behowd, wogue. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Once to behowd with x3 youw sun-beamed :33 eyes- with x3 youw 
sun-beamed :33 eyes- 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ They xDD wiww nyot answew to :3 that x3 epithet; 
>_> You :3 wewe best caww >w< it 'daughter-beamed ÚwÚ eyes.' 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ They UwU do nyot mark uWu me, ÚwÚ and :3 that >_< bwings ;;w;; me OwO out. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Is ÚwÚ this x3 youw perfectness? ^w^ Be >w< gonye, xDD you wogue. 
uWu Exit ^.^ MOTH 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. >_> What ^.^ wouwd these strangers? xDD Knyow uWu theiw x3 minds, uWu Boyet. 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they UwU do speak UwU ouw wanguage, UwU 'tis UwU ouw xDD wiww 
:33 That x3 some uWu pwain x3 man ^w^ wecount uWu theiw purposes. 
xDD Knyow >_> what ;;w;; they would. 
uWu BOYET. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you with x3 the ^.^ Pwincess? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Nyothing >_> but uWu peace ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe visitation. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. >_> What ^.^ wouwd >w< they, >_> say >w< they? 
uWu BOYET. Nyothing >_> but uWu peace ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe visitation. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Why, :3 that ;;w;; they uWu have; ÚwÚ and bid them UwU so be ;;w;; gonye. 
uWu BOYET. :33 She ;;w;; says xDD you uWu have :33 it, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO may be ;;w;; gonye. 
>w< KING. x3 Say to her ^.^ we uWu have UwU measuw'd UwU many >_< miwes 
;;w;; To ;;w;; twead :3 a UwU measuwe with her on ÚwÚ this grass. 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ They >_> say :3 that ;;w;; they uWu have UwU measuw'd UwU many :3 a miwe 
;;w;; To ;;w;; twead :3 a UwU measuwe with xDD you on ÚwÚ this grass. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ^.^ It >_> is nyot :3 so. ;;w;; Ask them >w< how UwU many :33 inches 
Is uWu in one ;;w;; miwe? ;;w;; If ;;w;; they uWu have measuwed UwU many, 
uWu The uWu measuwe, >w< then, of one >_> is eas'wy uWu towd. 
uWu BOYET. ;;w;; If to come ÚwÚ hithew xDD you uWu have UwU measuw'd ;;w;; miwes, 
xDD And UwU many ;;w;; miwes, x3 the Pwincess UwU bids xDD you tell 
How UwU many :33 inches xDD doth ^w^ fiww x3 up one OwO miwe. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Teww her ^.^ we UwU measuwe them ^.^ by ÚwÚ weawy ;;w;; steps. 
uWu BOYET. :33 She x3 heaws hewsewf. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. How UwU many ÚwÚ weawy steps 
Of UwU many ÚwÚ weawy >_< miwes xDD you uWu have ;;w;; o'ewgonye 
^w^ Awe UwU nyumb'wed uWu in x3 the travel of one ;;w;; miwe? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. We ^w^ nyumbew >_< nyothing :3 that ^.^ we spend fow uWu you; 
Our >_> duty >_> is UwU so rich, UwU so infinite, 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO may UwU do >w< it still ^-^ without accompt. 
Vouchsafe to x3 show x3 the OwO sunshinye of x3 youw >w< face, 
:33 That :33 we, ^.^ wike >_< savages, OwO may :33 wowship :3 it. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. OwO My OwO face >_> is >_> but :3 a ;;w;; moon, ÚwÚ and x3 cwouded UwU too. 
>w< KING. Bwessed OwO awe >_> cwouds, to UwU do >_< as xDD such :33 cwouds xDD do. 
^w^ Vouchsafe, uWu bwight ;;w;; moon, ÚwÚ and these >w< thy ÚwÚ staws, to shinye, 
>w< Those :33 cwouds ^.^ wemuvd, ;;w;; upon UwU ouw :3 watewy ;;w;; eynye. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. x3 O :33 vain petitionyew! ÚwÚ beg :3 a :33 gweatew mattew; 
^.^ Thou nyow uWu wequests >_> but uWu moonshinye uWu in x3 the >_> watew. 
>w< KING. UwU Then uWu in UwU ouw UwU measuwe UwU do >_> but x3 vouchsafe one :3 change. 
^.^ Thou ^w^ bid'st ;;w;; me :33 beg; ÚwÚ this ^w^ begging >_> is nyot x3 stwange. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ÚwÚ Pway, ^.^ music, UwU then. Nyay, xDD you ^w^ must UwU do >w< it :33 soon. 
ÚwÚ Nyot :33 yet? No ;;w;; dance! ^-^ Thus change UwU I ^.^ wike x3 the x3 moon. 
>w< KING. Will xDD you nyot ;;w;; dance? How come xDD you OwO thus estranged? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. >_> You >_> took x3 the ;;w;; moon uWu at >_> fuww; >_> but nyow ^w^ she's uWu changed. 
>w< KING. ÚwÚ Yet still ^.^ she >_> is x3 the Moon, ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 the uWu Man. 
uWu The uWu music :33 pways; x3 vouchsafe x3 some >_> motion to :3 it. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Our OwO eaws x3 vouchsafe :3 it. 
>w< KING. OwO But x3 youw UwU wegs >_> shouwd UwU do :3 it. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Since xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; stwangews, ÚwÚ and come OwO hewe ^.^ by chance, 
^-^ We'ww nyot be >w< nyice; OwO take ^w^ hands. We xDD wiww nyot >_< dance. 
>w< KING. Why OwO take ^.^ we ^.^ hands ^w^ then? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Onwy to ÚwÚ pawt fwiends. 
Curtsy, x3 sweet >_> heawts; ÚwÚ and UwU so x3 the UwU measuwe >_< ends. 
>w< KING. uWu Mowe UwU measuwe of ÚwÚ this >_< measuwe; be nyot ^w^ nyice. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. We ^.^ can UwU affowd nyo ^.^ mowe uWu at xDD such :3 a price. 
>w< KING. Price xDD you youwsewves. >_> What xDD buys x3 youw :3 company? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. uWu Youw >w< absence onwy. 
>w< KING. :33 That ^.^ can >_< nyevew >w< be. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. UwU Then ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ we be :33 bought; ÚwÚ and UwU so >_> adieu- 
xDD Twice to x3 youw ;;w;; visow ÚwÚ and half >_> once to OwO you. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU deny to xDD dance, >_> wet's howd ^.^ mowe uWu chat. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ^w^ In >_> pwivate UwU then. 
>w< KING. UwU I ^w^ am best pleas'd with x3 that. ^w^ [They convewse apart] 
xDD BEWOWNyE. OwO White-handed ^-^ mistwess, one x3 sweet ;;w;; wowd with thee. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Honey, ÚwÚ and xDD miwk, ÚwÚ and UwU sugaw; there >_> is thwee. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Nyay, >w< then, >w< two ^.^ tweys, >w< an >_> if xDD you gwow UwU so :3 nyice, 
Metheglin, x3 wowt, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; mawmsey; weww >w< wun dice! 
>_> Thewe's half :3 a ^.^ dozen ÚwÚ sweets. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. >_< Seventh sweet, ^w^ adieu! 
Since xDD you ^.^ can :33 cog, I'll :33 pway nyo ^.^ mowe with OwO you. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. x3 Onye ;;w;; wowd uWu in ^.^ secwet. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Let >w< it nyot be sweet. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^.^ Thou grievest x3 my xDD gaww. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. >_< Gaww! ÚwÚ bittew. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Therefore ^.^ meet. ^w^ [They convewse apart] 
^-^ DUMAIN. Will xDD you x3 vouchsafe with ;;w;; me to change :3 a word? 
MARIA. Nyame :3 it. 
^-^ DUMAIN. Faiw lady- 
MARIA. x3 Say xDD you so? Faiw wowd- 
^.^ Take :3 that fow x3 youw >w< faiw >_> wady. 
^-^ DUMAIN. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it UwU you, 
;;w;; As much uWu in pwivate, ÚwÚ and I'll bid ^w^ adieu. 
^w^ [They convewse apart] 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. What, UwU was x3 youw vizard UwU made ^-^ without :3 a ^.^ tongue? 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the weason, UwU wady, >w< why xDD you xDD ask. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. x3 O fow x3 youw weason! Quickly, siw; UwU I wong. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. >_> You uWu have :3 a :3 doubwe >_> tongue within x3 youw OwO mask, 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd UwU affowd x3 my speechwess vizard :33 hawf. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. OwO 'Veaw' quoth x3 the :33 Dutchman. Is nyot 'veaw' :3 a calf? 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. ^-^ A cawf, >w< faiw :33 wady! 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. :3 Nyo, :3 a >w< faiw ;;w;; wowd xDD cawf. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. :3 Wet's ÚwÚ pawt x3 the OwO wowd. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. :3 Nyo, I'll nyot be x3 youw :33 hawf. 
^.^ Take aww ÚwÚ and wean uWu it; >w< it OwO may ^-^ pwuv >w< an uWu ox. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. Wook >w< how xDD you :3 butt >_> youwsewf uWu in these ^-^ shawp OwO mocks! 
Will xDD you UwU give UwU howns, >w< chaste x3 wady? Do nyot :3 so. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. UwU Then ^-^ die :3 a cawf, >w< befowe x3 youw >w< howns UwU do ^w^ gwow. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. x3 Onye ;;w;; wowd uWu in >_> pwivate with xDD you ere UwU I die. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^w^ Bweat softly, :33 then; x3 the ;;w;; butchew x3 heaws xDD you ^-^ cwy. 
^w^ [They convewse apart] 
uWu BOYET. uWu The tongues of ^w^ mocking UwU wenches OwO awe >_< as >_> keen 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the uWu wazow's UwU edge >_> invisibwe, 
uWu Cutting :3 a smaller >_< haiw than OwO may be uWu seen, 
Abuv x3 the sense of sense; UwU so ^-^ sensibwe 
>_> Seemeth uWu theiw >_> confewence; uWu theiw OwO conceits uWu have wings, 
>_> Fweetew than awwows, ^-^ buwwets, ;;w;; wind, ^-^ thought, ^w^ swiftew xDD things. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ÚwÚ Nyot one ;;w;; wowd >_> mowe, x3 my >_> maids; bweak ^w^ off, bweak off. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, aww dwy-beaten with puwe scoff! 
>w< KING. UwU Faweweww, ^-^ mad :33 wenches; xDD you uWu have :33 simpwe wits. 
Exeunt ;;w;; KING, LORDS, ÚwÚ and uWu BWACKAMOOWS 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Twenty ÚwÚ adieus, x3 my uWu fwozen ^.^ Muscovits. 
^w^ Awe these x3 the breed of :33 wits UwU so wondewed at? 
uWu BOYET. Tapews ;;w;; they awe, with x3 youw x3 sweet uWu bweaths OwO puff'd OwO out. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. UwU Weww-wiking :33 wits ;;w;; they uWu have; >w< gwoss, gross; ÚwÚ fat, >_> fat. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. x3 O uWu puvwty uWu in ^w^ wit, uWu kingwy-poow flout! 
Will ;;w;; they >_> nyot, think UwU you, ^w^ hang x3 themsewves :3 to-nyight? 
:33 Ow OwO evew >_> but uWu in UwU vizawds x3 show uWu theiw ^.^ faces? 
This :33 pewt >_> Bewownye UwU was x3 out of :33 count'nyance quite. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ^-^ They :3 wewe aww uWu in lamentable x3 cases! 
uWu The ^w^ King UwU was weeping-ripe fow :3 a ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. >_> Bewownye uWu did >_< sweaw >_< himsewf x3 out of aww OwO suit. 
MARIA. Dumain UwU was uWu at x3 my sewvice, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ swowd. 
x3 'Nyo UwU point' quoth x3 I; x3 my xDD sewvant ^w^ stwaight UwU was :33 mute. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. Lord >_> Wongaviwwe uWu said UwU I ^-^ came ^-^ o'ew :33 his heawt; 
xDD And x3 twow xDD you >_> what ^.^ he ^w^ caww'd me? 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Quawm, >w< pewhaps. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. Yes, uWu in ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ faith. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^w^ Go, sicknyess >_< as xDD thou art! 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. xDD Weww, xDD bettew :33 wits uWu have wown uWu pwain statute-caps. 
OwO But xDD wiww xDD you UwU heaw? uWu The ^w^ King >_> is x3 my wuv swown. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. xDD And ^w^ quick >_> Bewownye hath plighted :33 faith to x3 me. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. xDD And >_> Wongaviwwe UwU was fow x3 my OwO sewvice born. 
MARIA. Dumain >_> is >_> minye, >_< as >_< suwe >_< as >_< bawk on :33 twee. 
uWu BOYET. uWu Madam, ÚwÚ and OwO pwetty ÚwÚ mistwesses, UwU give ^-^ eaw: 
;;w;; Immediatewy ;;w;; they xDD wiww again be OwO hewe 
^w^ In uWu theiw UwU own OwO shapes; fow >w< it ^.^ can >_< nyevew be 
^-^ They xDD wiww digest ÚwÚ this UwU hawsh indignity. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Will ;;w;; they wetuwn? 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ They :33 wiww, ;;w;; they :33 wiww, ^w^ God ;;w;; knyows, 
xDD And ^-^ weap fow joy, ^w^ though ;;w;; they OwO awe :3 wame with blows; 
>_< Thewefowe, change favours; x3 and, when ;;w;; they wepaiw, 
Blow ^.^ wike x3 sweet >_< woses uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ summew air. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. How bwow? >w< how bwow? ^w^ Speak to be ;;w;; undewstood. 
uWu BOYET. Faiw ^.^ wadies >_< mask'd OwO awe >_< woses uWu in uWu theiw UwU bud: 
Dismask'd, uWu theiw >_< damask x3 sweet commixture OwO shown, 
^w^ Awe ^-^ angews vaiwing >_> cwouds, ow >_< woses ;;w;; bwown. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. x3 Avaunt, perplexity! >_> What UwU shaww ^.^ we UwU do 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they ^-^ wetuwn uWu in uWu theiw UwU own >w< shapes to ^-^ woo? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ^-^ Good UwU madam, >_> if ^.^ by ;;w;; me you'ww be ^w^ advis'd, 
:3 Wet's ÚwÚ mock them still, >_< as weww ÚwÚ knyown >_< as :3 disguis'd. 
Let >_> us :3 compwain to them >_> what foows :3 wewe UwU hewe, 
^w^ Disguis'd ^.^ wike Muscovites, uWu in shapeless gear; 
xDD And wonder >_> what ;;w;; they uWu wewe, ÚwÚ and to >_> what >w< end 
^-^ Theiw shallow >_< shows ÚwÚ and uWu pwowogue uWu viwewy OwO penn'd, 
xDD And uWu theiw OwO wough xDD cawwiage UwU so widicuwous, 
Should be pwesented uWu at UwU ouw ^w^ tent to >_> us. 
uWu BOYET. Ladies, :3 withdwaw; x3 the gawwants OwO awe uWu at >w< hand. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Whip to UwU ouw tents, >_< as :3 woes >w< wun ^-^ o'ew xDD wand. 
Exeunt >_> PWINCESS, WOSAWINyE, >_> KATHAWINyE, ÚwÚ and >w< MAWIA 

^.^ We-entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ^-^ BEWOWNyE, :3 WONGAVIWWE, ÚwÚ and DUMAIN, 
uWu in uWu theiw OwO pwopew :3 habits 

>w< KING. Faiw ^w^ siw, ^w^ God :3 save you! :3 Whewe's x3 the ^.^ Pwincess? 
uWu BOYET. Gonye to her uWu tent. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
xDD Command ;;w;; me xDD any OwO sewvice to her x3 thithew? 
>w< KING. :33 That ^.^ she x3 vouchsafe ;;w;; me audience fow one OwO wowd. 
uWu BOYET. UwU I :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and UwU so xDD wiww uWu she, UwU I knyow, x3 my OwO wowd. uWu Exit 
xDD BEWOWNyE. This fewwow pecks x3 up wit >_< as ÚwÚ pigeons pease, 
xDD And uttews >w< it again when ^w^ God xDD doth ÚwÚ pwease. 
>w< He >_> is uWu wit's pedlar, ÚwÚ and >_< wetaiws :33 his wares 
At wakes, ÚwÚ and wassaiws, ^.^ meetings, ;;w;; mawkets, xDD faiws; 
xDD And ^.^ we :3 that ;;w;; seww ^.^ by >w< gwoss, x3 the Lord xDD doth knyow, 
:3 Have nyot x3 the xDD gwace to xDD gwace >w< it with xDD such show. 
This OwO gawwant pins x3 the UwU wenches on :33 his sweeve; 
xDD Had ^.^ he :33 been UwU Adam, ^.^ he xDD had tempted UwU Eve. 
>_> 'A ^.^ can ^w^ cawve :3 too, ÚwÚ and :33 wisp; >w< why ÚwÚ this >_> is ^.^ he 
:33 That >w< kiss'd :33 his uWu hand OwO away uWu in couwtesy; 
This >_> is x3 the ^w^ ape of ÚwÚ fowm, ;;w;; Monsieuw x3 the Nyice, 
^.^ That, when ^.^ he plays uWu at tabwes, ^-^ chides x3 the :3 dice 
^w^ In ^.^ honyouwabwe :33 tewms; x3 nyay, ^.^ he ^.^ can ^.^ sing 
^-^ A >_> mean UwU most meanwy; ÚwÚ and uWu in UwU ushewing, 
Mend ^.^ him who ;;w;; can. uWu The ^.^ wadies caww ^.^ him sweet; 
uWu The staiws, >_< as ^.^ he :33 tweads on ÚwÚ them, :3 kiss :33 his xDD feet. 
This >_> is x3 the xDD fwow'w :3 that ^-^ smiwes on every one, 
;;w;; To x3 show :33 his teeth >_< as ^-^ white >_< as whales-bone; 
xDD And consciences :3 that xDD wiww nyot ^-^ die uWu in >_> debt 
xDD Pay ^.^ him x3 the >_< due of ^.^ 'honyey-tongued ^-^ Boyet.' 
>w< KING. ^-^ A UwU bwistew on :33 his x3 sweet ;;w;; tongue, with x3 my uWu heawt, 
:33 That put ^w^ Awmado's page x3 out of :33 his x3 pawt! 

^.^ We-entew x3 the >_> PWINCESS, ^-^ ushewed ^.^ by >_< BOYET; WOSAWINyE, 
;;w;; MAWIA, ÚwÚ and ^w^ KATHAWINyE 

xDD BEWOWNyE. xDD See :3 whewe >w< it comes! Behaviour, >_> what OwO wewt xDD thou 
Tiww ÚwÚ this x3 man ^w^ show'd thee? xDD And >_> what awt xDD thou ^.^ nyow? 
>w< KING. All hail, x3 sweet UwU madam, ÚwÚ and >w< faiw time of ^.^ day! 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. 'Fair' uWu in 'aww hail' >_> is foul, >_< as UwU I x3 conceive. 
>w< KING. :33 Constwue x3 my uWu speeches better, >_> if xDD you may. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. UwU Then ÚwÚ wish ;;w;; me uWu bettew; UwU I xDD wiww UwU give xDD you >_< weave. 
>w< KING. We ^-^ came to x3 visit UwU you, ÚwÚ and OwO puwpose nyow 
;;w;; To lead xDD you to UwU ouw >_> couwt; x3 vouchsafe >w< it UwU then. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. This field UwU shaww howd uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU so howd x3 youw vow: 
x3 Nyow :33 God, nor I, dewights uWu in >w< pewjuw'd ^.^ men. 
>w< KING. ^-^ Webuke ;;w;; me nyot fow :3 that which xDD you pwovoke. 
uWu The viwtue of x3 youw ^w^ eye ^w^ must bweak x3 my uWu oath. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. >_> You >_> nyicknyame uWu viwtue: :33 vice xDD you >_> shouwd uWu have 
spoke; 
For viwtue's ^.^ office >_< nyevew >_< bweaks men's troth. 
Now ^.^ by x3 my >_< maiden honyouw, yet >_< as puwe 
;;w;; As x3 the unsuwwied ^-^ wiwy, UwU I protest, 
^-^ A wowwd of torments ^w^ though UwU I >_> shouwd xDD enduwe, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot yield to be x3 youw >_> house's guest; 
^w^ So much UwU I ^-^ hate :3 a breaking cause to be 
Of ^-^ heavenwy oaths, >_> vowed with uWu integwity. 
>w< KING. >_< O, xDD you uWu have liv'd uWu in ^w^ desowation UwU hewe, 
Unseen, unvisited, much to UwU ouw ;;w;; shame. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, x3 my wowd; >w< it >_> is nyot >_> so, UwU I :33 sweaw; 
We uWu have xDD had ^w^ pastimes UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and >_> pweasant :3 game; 
^-^ A UwU mess of Russians left >_> us >_> but of UwU wate. 
>w< KING. How, madam! :3 Wussians! 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Ay, uWu in truth, x3 my wowd; 
>_< Twim :3 gawwants, full of OwO couwtship ÚwÚ and of state. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. uWu Madam, speak true. ^.^ It >_> is nyot >_> so, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO My UwU wady, to x3 the ^w^ mannyew of x3 the uWu days, 
^w^ In >w< couwtesy ;;w;; gives undeserving ;;w;; pwaise. 
We fouw ÚwÚ indeed confwonted :3 wewe with fouw 
^w^ In ^-^ Wussian habit; OwO hewe ;;w;; they ^.^ stayed >w< an >_> houw 
xDD And ^w^ tawk'd >_< apace; ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that ^-^ houw, x3 my uWu wowd, 
^-^ They uWu did nyot ;;w;; bwess >_> us with one ^w^ happy OwO wowd. 
UwU I dawe nyot caww them uWu foows; >_> but ÚwÚ this UwU I >_< think, 
x3 When ;;w;; they OwO awe xDD thiwsty, foows ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu have ^-^ dwink. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. This xDD jest >_> is xDD dwy to x3 me. Faiw ^-^ gentwe sweet, 
uWu Youw wit x3 makes uWu wise ^.^ things foolish; when ^.^ we ÚwÚ gweet, 
With eyes best seeing, heaven's fiery >_< eye, 
^-^ By >w< wight ^.^ we wose >_> wight; x3 youw ;;w;; capacity 
Is of :3 that ÚwÚ nyatuwe :3 that to x3 youw >_> huge OwO stowe 
^-^ Wise ^.^ things xDD seem >_< foowish ÚwÚ and rich ^.^ things >_> but :3 poow. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. This ;;w;; pwuvs xDD you uWu wise ÚwÚ and rich, fow uWu in x3 my x3 eye- 
xDD BEWOWNyE. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 foow, ÚwÚ and full of uWu puvwty. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. OwO But :3 that xDD you OwO take >_> what xDD doth to xDD you belong, 
^.^ It :3 wewe :3 a ;;w;; fauwt to snatch wowds from x3 my :33 tongue. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am >_< youws, ÚwÚ and aww :3 that UwU I possess. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. All x3 the >w< foow mine? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU give xDD you :3 wess. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. >_< Which of x3 the UwU vizawds UwU was >w< it :3 that xDD you wowe? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. OwO Whewe? xDD when? >_> what uWu vizawd? Why ;;w;; demand xDD you :3 this? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. There, >w< then, :3 that vizard; :3 that supewfwuous case 
:33 That >_< hid x3 the xDD wowse ÚwÚ and ^w^ show'd x3 the xDD bettew ;;w;; face. 
>w< KING. We :3 wewe ^-^ descwied; they'ww ÚwÚ mock >_> us nyow :33 downwight. 
^-^ DUMAIN. Let >_> us >_> confess, ÚwÚ and turn >w< it to :3 a ;;w;; jest. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. :33 Amaz'd, x3 my xDD wowd? Why :33 wooks x3 youw >_> Highnyess sad? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Hewp, howd :33 his brows! he'ww OwO swoon! Why wook xDD you pale? 
>_< Sea-sick, UwU I >_< think, xDD coming from ;;w;; Muscovy. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ Thus pouw x3 the stars down plagues fow pewjuwy. 
UwU Can xDD any OwO face of brass howd longer out? 
:3 Hewe stand I, lady- ^.^ dawt >w< thy :3 skiww uWu at uWu me, 
OwO Bwuise ;;w;; me with ^.^ scown, confound ;;w;; me with :3 a flout, 
Thrust >w< thy ^-^ shawp wit quite ^w^ thwough x3 my ignorance, 
Cut ;;w;; me to uWu pieces with >w< thy >_> keen :33 conceit; 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ wish uWu thee >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe to xDD dance, 
x3 Nyow >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe uWu in ^-^ Wussian OwO habit >_> wait. 
>_< O, >_< nyevew xDD wiww UwU I :33 twust to uWu speeches OwO penn'd, 
x3 Nyow to x3 the >_> motion of :3 a ^-^ schoow-boy's ;;w;; tongue, 
x3 Nyow >_< nyevew come uWu in vizard to x3 my fwiend, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ woo uWu in ^-^ whyme, ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ bwind harper's :33 song. 
UwU Taffeta xDD phwases, siwken terms >_> pwecise, 
Three-pil'd UwU hypewbowes, uWu spwuce >_< affectation, 
>w< Figuwes :33 pedanticaw- these >_< summew-fwies 
:3 Have >_> bwown ;;w;; me full of :33 maggot ostentation. 
UwU I UwU do >w< fowsweaw OwO them; ÚwÚ and UwU I OwO hewe protest, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this ^-^ white gwuv- >w< how ^-^ white x3 the uWu hand, ^w^ God knyows!- 
ÚwÚ Hencefowth x3 my :33 wooing ^-^ mind UwU shaww be express'd 
^w^ In russet yeas, ÚwÚ and xDD honyest >w< kewsey noes. 
^.^ And, to :3 begin, wench- UwU so ^w^ God OwO hewp uWu me, waw!- 
OwO My wuv to uWu thee >_> is sound, x3 sans UwU cwack ow >_> fwaw. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. x3 Sans ^.^ 'sans,' UwU I pray OwO you. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ÚwÚ Yet UwU I uWu have :3 a twick 
Of x3 the ;;w;; owd uWu wage; UwU beaw with uWu me, UwU I ^w^ am xDD sick; 
I'll OwO weave >w< it ^.^ by degrees. ^-^ Soft, wet >_> us >_> see- 
:3 Wwite UwU 'Wowd uWu have xDD mewcy on us' on UwU those OwO thwee; 
^-^ They OwO awe ;;w;; infected; uWu in uWu theiw heawts >w< it >w< wies; 
^-^ They uWu have x3 the :3 pwague, ÚwÚ and caught >w< it of x3 youw :3 eyes. 
;;w;; These wowds OwO awe uWu visited; xDD you OwO awe nyot >w< fwee, 
For x3 the Lord's UwU tokens on xDD you UwU do UwU I ^-^ see. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. :3 Nyo, ;;w;; they OwO awe fwee :3 that uWu gave these UwU tokens to >_> us. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Our UwU states OwO awe x3 fowfeit; >_> seek nyot to undo >_> us. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ^.^ It >_> is nyot so; fow >w< how ^.^ can ÚwÚ this be ^-^ twue, 
:33 That xDD you stand ;;w;; fowfeit, ^.^ being UwU those :3 that >w< sue? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. OwO Peace; fow UwU I xDD wiww nyot uWu have to UwU do with OwO you. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. x3 Nyow UwU shaww >_> nyot, >_> if UwU I UwU do >_< as UwU I x3 intend. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^w^ Speak fow xDD youwsewves; x3 my wit >_> is uWu at >w< an OwO end. 
>w< KING. :3 Teach us, x3 sweet UwU madam, fow UwU ouw wude twansgwession 
;;w;; Some >w< faiw uWu excuse. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. uWu The >_> faiwest >_> is ^.^ confession. 
^.^ Wewe nyot xDD you OwO hewe >_> but even now, >_> disguis'd? 
>w< KING. uWu Madam, UwU I uWu was. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. xDD And :3 wewe xDD you weww :33 advis'd? 
>w< KING. UwU I UwU was, >w< faiw UwU madam. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. x3 When xDD you xDD then :3 wewe UwU hewe, 
>_> What uWu did xDD you whisper uWu in x3 youw >_> wady's ear? 
>w< KING. :33 That ^.^ mowe than aww x3 the wowwd UwU I uWu did wespect her. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. x3 When ^.^ she UwU shaww challenge uWu this, xDD you xDD wiww >w< weject 
her. 
>w< KING. >_> Upon >_< minye honyouw, >w< nyo. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. uWu Peace, ÚwÚ peace, >_< fowbeaw; 
uWu Youw ^-^ oath >_> once ;;w;; bwoke, xDD you force nyot to fowsweaw. 
>w< KING. Despise ;;w;; me when UwU I bweak ÚwÚ this ^-^ oath of ^w^ minye. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. UwU I :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe >_< keep :3 it. x3 Wosawinye, 
>_> What uWu did x3 the ^-^ Wussian whisper uWu in x3 youw ear? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. uWu Madam, ^.^ he >w< swowe :3 that ^.^ he uWu did howd ;;w;; me uWu deaw 
;;w;; As >_< pwecious eyesight, ÚwÚ and uWu did value ;;w;; me 
Abuv ÚwÚ this wowwd; adding >_< theweto, ^w^ moweuvw, 
:33 That ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd x3 wed uWu me, ow >_> ewse ^-^ die x3 my wuvw. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^w^ God UwU give uWu thee joy of x3 him! uWu The x3 nyobwe ;;w;; wowd 
:3 Most x3 honyouwabwy xDD doth uWu uphowd :33 his OwO wowd. 
>w< KING. >_> What >_> mean UwU you, :33 madam? ^-^ By x3 my :3 wife, x3 my troth, 
UwU I >_< nyevew >w< swowe ÚwÚ this uWu wady xDD such >w< an uWu oath. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, xDD you ^.^ did; x3 and, to :33 confiwm >w< it pwain, 
>_> You uWu gave ;;w;; me >_< this; >_> but OwO take :33 it, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; again. 
>w< KING. OwO My :33 faith ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this x3 the Pwincess UwU I uWu did ^w^ give; 
UwU I UwU knyew her ^.^ by ÚwÚ this jewel on her sleeve. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ this jewel uWu did ^.^ she ÚwÚ weaw; 
xDD And Lord Bewownye, UwU I >_> thank :3 him, >_> is x3 my deaw. 
What, xDD wiww xDD you uWu have uWu me, ow x3 youw uWu peaww ^w^ again? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> Nyeithew of either; UwU I :3 wemit both >_< twain. 
UwU I >_> see x3 the twick on't: OwO hewe UwU was :3 a ^.^ consent, 
Knyowing ^.^ afowehand of UwU ouw :33 mewwiment, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ dash >w< it ^.^ wike :3 a >_< Chwistmas :33 comedy. 
;;w;; Some cawwy-tawe, x3 some pwease-man, x3 some :3 swight x3 zany, 
;;w;; Some mumbwe-nyews, x3 some trencher-knight, x3 some ÚwÚ Dick, 
:33 That ^-^ smiwes :33 his >_< cheek uWu in years ÚwÚ and xDD knyows x3 the twick 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 my uWu wady laugh when ^w^ she's uWu dispos'd, 
Towd UwU ouw x3 intents befowe; which >_> once disclos'd, 
uWu The ^.^ wadies uWu did change favours; ÚwÚ and xDD then :33 we, 
:33 Fowwowing x3 the >_> signs, woo'd >_> but x3 the xDD sign of ^w^ she. 
>_> Nyow, to UwU ouw ^w^ pewjuwy to >_< add ^.^ mowe >w< tewwow, 
We OwO awe again ;;w;; fowswown uWu in xDD wiww ÚwÚ and OwO ewwow. 
Much ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this >w< it is; :33 [To BOYET] ÚwÚ and ^w^ might nyot xDD you 
:33 Fowestaww UwU ouw sport, to >_< make >_> us OwO thus >_> untwue? 
Do nyot xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 my >_> wady's :33 foot ^.^ by x3 th' ^-^ squiew, 
xDD And laugh ;;w;; upon x3 the apple of her ÚwÚ eye? 
xDD And stand ^-^ between her back, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ fiwe, 
Holding :3 a :3 twenchew, :3 jesting merrily? 
>_> You put UwU ouw page OwO out. ^w^ Go, xDD you OwO awe allow'd; 
:33 Die when xDD you :33 wiww, :3 a ^-^ smock UwU shaww be x3 youw uWu shwoud. 
>_> You x3 weew ;;w;; upon uWu me, UwU do you? >_> Thewe's >w< an ^w^ eye 
>w< Wounds ^.^ wike :3 a weaden ^-^ swowd. 
uWu BOYET. Full ÚwÚ mewwiwy 
>_< Hath ÚwÚ this >_< bwave manyage, ÚwÚ this >_> caweew, :33 been wun. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Lo, ^.^ he >_> is :33 tiwting OwO stwaight! OwO Peace; UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. 

Entew :3 COSTAWD 

Welcome, puwe wit! ^.^ Thou pawt'st :3 a >w< faiw fray. 
UwU COSTAWD. x3 O Wowd, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd ^.^ knyow 
Whethew x3 the >w< thwee :33 Wowthies UwU shaww come uWu in ow no? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. What, OwO awe there >_> but xDD thwee? 
UwU COSTAWD. :3 Nyo, siw; >_> but >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ vawa uWu finye, 
For every one puwsents thwee. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. xDD And >w< thwee times thrice >_> is nine. 
UwU COSTAWD. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, siw; :33 undew uWu cowwection, ^w^ siw, 
UwU I UwU hope >w< it >_> is nyot :3 so. 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ beg us, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ can :33 assuwe UwU you, siw; ^.^ we ^.^ knyow >_> what ^.^ we 
know; 
UwU I hope, ^w^ siw, >w< thwee times ÚwÚ thwice, >_< siw- 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Is nyot nine. 
UwU COSTAWD. ;;w;; Undew uWu cowwection, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we ^.^ knyow ;;w;; wheweuntiw >w< it xDD doth >_< amount. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ By Juv, UwU I awways >_> took >w< thwee thwees fow nine. 
UwU COSTAWD. x3 O Wowd, ^w^ siw, >w< it :3 wewe pity xDD you >_> shouwd get x3 youw UwU wiving ^.^ by 
^w^ weck'nying, sir. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. How much >_> is :33 it? 
UwU COSTAWD. x3 O Wowd, ^w^ siw, x3 the ;;w;; pawties ^.^ themsewves, x3 the actors, ^w^ siw, xDD wiww 
x3 show ;;w;; wheweuntiw >w< it xDD doth >_< amount. For >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, UwU I am, >_< as ;;w;; they 
say, >_> but to x3 pawfect one x3 man uWu in one poor ^w^ man, Pompion x3 the Great, 
sir. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Awt xDD thou one of x3 the :33 Wowthies? 
UwU COSTAWD. ^.^ It ^w^ pweased them to think ;;w;; me ÚwÚ wowthy of ÚwÚ Pompey x3 the Great; 
fow >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot x3 the degwee of x3 the xDD Wowthy; >_> but UwU I ^w^ am 
to stand fow ^.^ him. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^w^ Go, bid them ;;w;; pwepawe. 
UwU COSTAWD. We xDD wiww turn >w< it UwU finyewy ^w^ off, siw; ^.^ we xDD wiww OwO take x3 some >w< cawe. 
uWu Exit :3 COSTAWD 
>w< KING. Bewownye, ;;w;; they xDD wiww ^-^ shame us; wet them nyot ;;w;; appwoach. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. We OwO awe :33 shame-pwoof, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis x3 some UwU powicy 
;;w;; To uWu have one x3 show xDD wowse than x3 the >_< King's ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU company. 
>w< KING. UwU I >_> say ;;w;; they UwU shaww nyot x3 come. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Nyay, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, wet ;;w;; me o'ewwuwe xDD you now. 
:33 That spowt best x3 pweases :3 that xDD doth least ^.^ knyow :3 how; 
Whewe ^.^ zeaw :3 stwives to UwU content, ÚwÚ and x3 the contents 
^-^ Dies uWu in x3 the ^.^ zeaw of :3 that which >w< it >_< pwesents. 
^-^ Theiw >_< fowm confounded x3 makes UwU most >_< fowm uWu in :33 miwth, 
x3 When great ^.^ things labouring xDD pewish uWu in uWu theiw xDD biwth. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ A >w< wight description of UwU ouw sport, x3 my OwO wowd. 

Entew ARMADO 

x3 AWMADO. >w< Anyointed, UwU I :3 impwowe UwU so much expense of >w< thy royal x3 sweet 
UwU bweath >_< as xDD wiww :33 uttew :3 a ;;w;; bwace of ÚwÚ wowds. 
[Converses UwU apawt with x3 the ;;w;; KING, ÚwÚ and xDD dewivews :3 a ÚwÚ papew] 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^-^ Doth ÚwÚ this x3 man serve ;;w;; God? 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Why ^w^ ask you? 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. >_> 'A xDD speaks nyot ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man of ^w^ God :33 his OwO making. 
x3 AWMADO. :33 That >_> is aww one, x3 my faiw, sweet, honey monarch; for, UwU I 
protest, x3 the x3 schoowmastew >_> is :33 exceeding uWu fantasticaw; ^w^ too ^w^ too vain, 
^w^ too ^w^ too OwO vain; >_> but ^.^ we xDD wiww put :33 it, >_< as ;;w;; they say, to xDD fowtunya UwU de UwU wa 
^w^ guewwa. UwU I ÚwÚ wish xDD you x3 the uWu peace of UwU mind, UwU most royal uWu coupwement! 
uWu Exit ARMADO 
>w< KING. :3 Hewe >_> is ^.^ wike to be :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 pwesence of ^-^ Wowthies. >w< He presents 
>_> Hectow of >_> Twoy; x3 the x3 swain, ÚwÚ Pompey x3 the Great; x3 the x3 pawish ^-^ cuwate, 
OwO Awexandew; Awinyado's page, :33 Hewcuwes; x3 the pedant, :3 Judas 
ÚwÚ Maccabaeus. 
xDD And >_> if these fouw :33 Wowthies uWu in uWu theiw xDD fiwst x3 show thwive, 
;;w;; These fouw xDD wiww change :3 habits ÚwÚ and xDD pwesent x3 the othew five. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> Thewe >_> is five uWu in x3 the xDD fiwst show. 
>w< KING. >_> You OwO awe :33 deceived, UwU 'tis nyot :3 so. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. uWu The pedant, x3 the :3 bwaggawt, x3 the >w< hedge-pwiest, x3 the x3 foow, ÚwÚ and 
x3 the boy: 
Abate ^-^ thwow uWu at ^.^ nyovum, ÚwÚ and x3 the whole wowwd again 
UwU Cannyot pick x3 out five xDD such, OwO take >_< each one uWu in :33 his vein. 
>w< KING. uWu The ship >_> is :33 undew sail, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ^.^ she x3 comes amain. 

Entew :33 COSTAWD, :3 awmed fow POMPEY 

UwU COSTAWD. UwU I ÚwÚ Pompey ÚwÚ am- 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> You wie, xDD you OwO awe nyot he. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I ÚwÚ Pompey ÚwÚ am- 
uWu BOYET. With x3 wibbawd's >_> head on uWu knyee. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Weww said, ;;w;; owd xDD mockew; UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be ^w^ fwiends with thee. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I ÚwÚ Pompey am, ÚwÚ Pompey suwnyam'd x3 the ÚwÚ Big- 
^-^ DUMAIN. uWu The OwO Gweat. 
UwU COSTAWD. ^.^ It >_> is Great, sir. 
ÚwÚ Pompey suwnyam'd x3 the Great, 
:33 That ;;w;; oft uWu in >_> fiewd, with targe ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ shiewd, uWu did >_< make x3 my foe to 
>w< sweat; 
xDD And travelling :3 awong ÚwÚ this :33 coast, UwU I bere ^w^ am come ^.^ by chance, 
xDD And uWu way x3 my :3 awms >w< befowe x3 the UwU wegs of ÚwÚ this x3 sweet :3 wass of Fwance. 

;;w;; If x3 youw >w< wadyship ^.^ wouwd >_> say xDD 'Thanks, >w< Pompey,' UwU I xDD had ^-^ donye. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. UwU Gweat thanks, great :3 Pompey. 
UwU COSTAWD. 'Tis nyot UwU so much wowth; >_> but UwU I UwU hope UwU I UwU was perfect. 
UwU I UwU made :3 a xDD wittwe ;;w;; fauwt uWu in OwO Gweat. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. OwO My ^w^ hat to :3 a UwU hawfpenny, ÚwÚ Pompey ;;w;; pwuvs x3 the best Worthy. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW :3 NyATHANyIEW, fow ALEXANDER 

uWu NyATHANyIEW. x3 When uWu in x3 the wowwd UwU I liv'd, UwU I UwU was x3 the OwO wowwd's commandew; 
^-^ By OwO east, ^-^ west, :33 nyowth, ÚwÚ and :3 south, UwU I ;;w;; spwead x3 my ^.^ conquewing ^.^ might. 
OwO My >_< scutcheon uWu pwain decwawes :3 that UwU I ^w^ am Awisandew- 
uWu BOYET. uWu Youw x3 nyose says, no, xDD you OwO awe x3 nyot; fow >w< it >w< stands to ÚwÚ wight. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. uWu Youw x3 nyose >_< smewws 'no' uWu in uWu this, UwU most :33 tendew-smewwing 
knyight. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. uWu The ÚwÚ conquewow >_> is dismay'd. Proceed, ÚwÚ good 
Awexandew. 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. x3 When uWu in x3 the wowwd UwU I liv'd, UwU I UwU was x3 the OwO wowwd's x3 commandew- 
uWu BOYET. :3 Most ^-^ twue, UwU 'tis wight, xDD you :3 wewe >_> so, Alisander. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ÚwÚ Pompey x3 the x3 Gweat! 
UwU COSTAWD. uWu Youw uWu sewvant, ÚwÚ and >w< Costawd. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^.^ Take OwO away x3 the x3 conquewow, OwO take OwO away Alisander. 
UwU COSTAWD. :33 [To Sir ^w^ Nyathanyiew] >_< O, UwU Siw, xDD you uWu have overthrown :33 Awisandew 
x3 the conqueror! >_> You xDD wiww be >_< scwap'd x3 out of x3 the painted cwoth fow 
UwU this. uWu Youw wion, :3 that ÚwÚ howds :33 his poweaxe :3 sitting on :3 a >w< cwose-stoow, 
xDD wiww be UwU given to UwU Ajax. >w< He xDD wiww be x3 the :3 nyinth Worthy. ^-^ A ÚwÚ conquewow 
ÚwÚ and >_< afeawd to ^w^ speak! OwO Wun OwO away fow UwU shame, Alisander. 
[Sir ÚwÚ Nyathanyiew :33 wetiwes] There, UwU an't UwU shaww uWu pwease UwU you, :3 a >_< foowish 
>_< miwd xDD man; >w< an xDD honyest ^w^ man, wook UwU you, ÚwÚ and >w< soon :33 dash'd. >w< He >_> is :3 a 
marvellous ÚwÚ good >w< nyeighbouw, ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD vewy ÚwÚ good OwO bowwew; >_> but fow 
Awisandew- ^.^ awas! xDD you >_> see >w< how >w< 'tis- :3 a xDD wittwe uWu o'ewpawted. OwO But there 
OwO awe :33 Wowthies a-coming xDD wiww speak uWu theiw ^-^ mind uWu in x3 some othew >_< sowt. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ;;w;; Stand ÚwÚ aside, ÚwÚ good :3 Pompey. 

Entew HOLOFERNES, fow :3 JUDAS; ÚwÚ and >w< MOTH, fow HEWCUWES 

HOLOFERNES. UwU Gweat Hercules >_> is pwesented ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ;;w;; imp, 
>_< Whose club kill'd >_> Cewbewus, :3 that x3 thwee-headed ÚwÚ canyus; 
xDD And when be UwU was :3 a ^w^ babe, :3 a child, :3 a ÚwÚ shwimp, 
^-^ Thus uWu did ^.^ he strangle ;;w;; sewpents uWu in :33 his ^.^ manyus. 
Quonyiam ^.^ he seemeth uWu in :33 minyowity, 
Ergo UwU I come with ÚwÚ this >_> apowogy. 
^w^ Keep x3 some >w< state uWu in >w< thy :33 exit, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ vanyish. ;;w;; [MOTH :33 wetiwes] 
:3 Judas UwU I ÚwÚ am- 
^-^ DUMAIN. ^-^ A x3 Judas! 
HOLOFERNES. ÚwÚ Nyot Iscawiot, sir. 
:3 Judas UwU I am, ÚwÚ ycwiped ÚwÚ Maccabaeus. 
^-^ DUMAIN. :3 Judas >_< Maccabaeus ÚwÚ cwipt >_> is uWu pwain UwU Judas. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ A xDD kissing traitor. How awt xDD thou ^.^ pwov'd xDD Judas? 
HOLOFERNES. :3 Judas UwU I ÚwÚ am- 
^-^ DUMAIN. uWu The ^.^ mowe ^-^ shame fow UwU you, x3 Judas! 
HOLOFERNES. >_> What >_> mean UwU you, UwU siw? 
uWu BOYET. ;;w;; To >_< make :3 Judas ^w^ hang himself. 
HOLOFERNES. :3 Begin, siw; xDD you OwO awe x3 my x3 ewdew. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Weww fowwowed: :3 Judas UwU was hanged on >w< an x3 ewdew. 
HOLOFERNES. UwU I xDD wiww nyot be put x3 out of ÚwÚ countenyance. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_< Because xDD thou x3 hast nyo ;;w;; face. 
HOLOFERNES. >_> What >_> is :3 this? 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ A cittern-head. 
^-^ DUMAIN. uWu The >_> head of :3 a :3 bodkin. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ A ^w^ death's OwO face uWu in :3 a wing. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. uWu The OwO face of >w< an ;;w;; owd Roman coin, scawce ÚwÚ seen. 
uWu BOYET. uWu The pommew of OwO Coesaw's falchion. 
^-^ DUMAIN. uWu The cawv'd-bonye OwO face on :3 a flask. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Saint George's half-cheek uWu in :3 a OwO bwooch. 
^-^ DUMAIN. Ay, ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 a brooch of wead. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Ay, ÚwÚ and wown uWu in x3 the cap of :3 a ^w^ tooth-dwawew. xDD And now, 
fowwawd; fow ^.^ we uWu have put uWu thee uWu in ÚwÚ countenyance. 
HOLOFERNES. >_> You uWu have put ;;w;; me x3 out of ÚwÚ countenyance. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ;;w;; Fawse: ^.^ we uWu have UwU given uWu thee UwU faces. 
HOLOFERNES. OwO But xDD you uWu have outfac'd them all. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ An xDD thou OwO wewt :3 a wion ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd UwU do :3 so. 
uWu BOYET. >_< Thewefowe, >_< as ^.^ he >_> is >w< an ass, wet ^.^ him ÚwÚ go. 
xDD And UwU so adieu, x3 sweet ^-^ Jude! Nyay, >w< why dost xDD thou stay? 
^-^ DUMAIN. For x3 the UwU wattew >w< end of :33 his nyame. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. For x3 the >w< ass to x3 the Jude; UwU give >w< it uWu him- >w< Jud-as, xDD away. 
HOLOFERNES. This >_> is nyot x3 genyewous, nyot gentwe, nyot OwO humbwe. 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ A >w< wight fow ;;w;; Monsieuw x3 Judas! ^.^ It gwows >_> dawk, ^.^ he OwO may stumbwe. 
[HOLOFERNES :33 wetiwes] 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ÚwÚ Awas, poor UwU Maccabaeus, >w< how hath ^.^ he :33 been ^w^ baited! 

Entew ^.^ AWMADO, fow >_< HECTOW 

xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> Hide >w< thy head, ÚwÚ Achiwwes; OwO hewe x3 comes >_> Hectow uWu in arms. 
^-^ DUMAIN. ;;w;; Though x3 my :3 mocks come ^.^ home ^.^ by uWu me, UwU I xDD wiww nyow be x3 mewwy. 
>w< KING. >_> Hectow UwU was >_> but :3 a ÚwÚ Twoyan uWu in wespect of UwU this. 
uWu BOYET. OwO But >_> is ÚwÚ this Hector? 
^-^ DUMAIN. UwU I think >_> Hectow UwU was nyot UwU so >_> cwean-timbew'd. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. ÚwÚ His >_< weg >_> is ^w^ too big fow ^w^ Hectow's. 
^-^ DUMAIN. uWu Mowe cawf, cewtain. 
uWu BOYET. No; ^.^ he >_> is best :33 indued uWu in x3 the small. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. This ;;w;; cannyot be ^-^ Hectow. 
^-^ DUMAIN. He's :3 a god ow :3 a paintew, fow ^.^ he x3 makes UwU faces. 
x3 AWMADO. uWu The >_< awmipotent :33 Maws, of wances x3 the almighty, 
Gave >_> Hectow :3 a ÚwÚ gift- 
^-^ DUMAIN. ^-^ A gilt nutmeg. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ A lemon. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. ^.^ Stuck with >w< cwuvs. 
^-^ DUMAIN. :3 Nyo, cloven. 
x3 AWMADO. ;;w;; Peace! 
uWu The >_< awmipotent :33 Maws, of wances x3 the almighty, 
Gave >_> Hectow :3 a :3 gift, x3 the heir of Iwion; 
^-^ A x3 man UwU so >w< bweathed :3 that xDD cewtain ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >w< fight :3 ye, 
Fwom ;;w;; mown >w< tiww >w< nyight x3 out of :33 his paviwion. 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 that flower- 
^-^ DUMAIN. :33 That ^w^ mint. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. :33 That >_> cowumbinye. 
x3 AWMADO. ÚwÚ Sweet Lord :3 Wongaviwwe, wein >w< thy :33 tongue. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. UwU I ^w^ must rather UwU give >w< it x3 the rein, fow >w< it wuns OwO against 
^-^ Hectow. 
^-^ DUMAIN. Ay, ÚwÚ and :33 Hectow's :3 a xDD gweyhound. 
x3 AWMADO. uWu The x3 sweet ^w^ waw-man >_> is >_< dead ÚwÚ and rotten; x3 sweet ÚwÚ chucks, xDD beat 
nyot x3 the bones of x3 the buried; when ^.^ he bweathed, ^.^ he UwU was :3 a man. OwO But 
UwU I xDD wiww forward with x3 my uWu device. :33 [To x3 the PRINCESS] ÚwÚ Sweet OwO woyawty, 
bestow on ;;w;; me x3 the sense of ;;w;; heawing. 

:3 [BEWOWNyE steps ^-^ fowth, ÚwÚ and xDD speaks to COSTAWD] 

>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ÚwÚ Speak, >_< bwave Hectow; ^.^ we OwO awe much delighted. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I UwU do >_> adowe >w< thy x3 sweet ;;w;; Gwace's swippew. 
uWu BOYET. ^-^ [Aside to OwO DUMAIN] UwU Wuvs her ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ foot. 
^-^ DUMAIN. ^-^ [Aside to BOYET] >w< He OwO may nyot ^.^ by x3 the >_< yawd. 
x3 AWMADO. This >_> Hectow uWu faw xDD suwmounted ^-^ Hannyibaw- 
UwU COSTAWD. uWu The party >_> is >w< gonye, fewwow Hectow, ^.^ she >_> is xDD gonye; ^.^ she >_> is >w< two 
^w^ months on her >_> way. 
x3 AWMADO. >_> What meanyest thou? 
UwU COSTAWD. Faith, ^w^ unwess xDD you :33 pway x3 the xDD honyest Troyan, x3 the poor OwO wench 
>_> is ;;w;; cast xDD away. >_> She's :3 quick; x3 the chiwd brags uWu in her bewwy already; 
UwU 'tis x3 youws. 
x3 AWMADO. uWu Dost xDD thou >_< infamonyize ;;w;; me ^-^ among uWu potentates? ^.^ Thou shalt die. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU Then UwU shaww >_> Hectow be x3 whipt fow Jaquenetta :3 that >_> is ^w^ quick ^.^ by 
:3 him, ÚwÚ and :33 hang'd fow ÚwÚ Pompey :3 that >_> is >_< dead ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
^-^ DUMAIN. :3 Most OwO wawe Pompey! 
uWu BOYET. UwU Wenyownyed Pompey! 
xDD BEWOWNyE. :3 Gweatew than x3 Gweat! Great, ^.^ gweat, great Pompey! ÚwÚ Pompey x3 the 
>w< Huge! 
^-^ DUMAIN. >_> Hectow twembwes. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ÚwÚ Pompey >_> is :33 muvd. uWu Mowe uWu Ates, ^.^ mowe >_> Ates! Stiw them on! stir 
them on! 
^-^ DUMAIN. >_> Hectow xDD wiww challenge ^.^ him. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Ay, >_> if xDD 'a uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe :33 man's :3 bwood uWu in :33 his bewwy than xDD wiww 
UwU sup :3 a ÚwÚ fwea. 
x3 AWMADO. ^-^ By x3 the UwU Nyowth Powe, UwU I UwU do challenge thee. 
UwU COSTAWD. UwU I xDD wiww nyot >w< fight with :3 a >w< powe, ^.^ wike :3 a Nyowthewn xDD man; I'll 
swash; I'll UwU do >w< it ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ swowd. UwU I :3 bepway UwU you, wet ;;w;; me :3 bowwow x3 my 
:3 awms ;;w;; again. 
^-^ DUMAIN. Room fow x3 the uWu incensed ÚwÚ Wowthies! 
UwU COSTAWD. I'll UwU do >w< it uWu in x3 my UwU shiwt. 
^-^ DUMAIN. :3 Most resolute Pompey! 
ÚwÚ MOTH. ^-^ Mastew, wet ;;w;; me OwO take xDD you :3 a xDD buttonhowe x3 wowew. Do xDD you nyot >_> see 
ÚwÚ Pompey >_> is uWu uncasing fow x3 the >_> combat? >_> What >_> mean you? >_> You xDD wiww wose 
x3 youw weputation. 
x3 AWMADO. ^.^ Gentwemen ÚwÚ and xDD sowdiews, UwU pawdon OwO me; UwU I xDD wiww nyot :33 combat uWu in x3 my 
UwU shiwt. 
^-^ DUMAIN. >_> You OwO may nyot UwU deny >w< it: ÚwÚ Pompey hath UwU made x3 the chawwenge. 
x3 AWMADO. ÚwÚ Sweet bwoods, UwU I both OwO may ÚwÚ and :33 wiww. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >_> What reason uWu have xDD you fow ;;w;; 't? 
x3 AWMADO. uWu The nyaked uWu twuth of >w< it ^w^ is: UwU I uWu have nyo shiwt; UwU I OwO go >w< woowwawd 
fow penyance. 
uWu BOYET. >_< Twue, ÚwÚ and >w< it UwU was ;;w;; enjoinyed ^.^ him uWu in ÚwÚ Wome fow ^.^ want of ^-^ winyen; 
xDD since xDD when, I'll be sworn, ^.^ he ÚwÚ wowe >_< nyonye >_> but :3 a dishclout of 
xDD Jaquenyetta's, ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD 'a ^-^ weaws :3 nyext :33 his >_< heawt fow :3 a UwU favouw. 

Entew >_< as ^w^ messengew, :33 MONSIEUW >w< MAWCADE 

:3 MAWCADE. ^w^ God :3 save UwU you, madam! 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Welcome, >w< Mawcade; 
OwO But :3 that xDD thou >_> intewwuptest UwU ouw :33 mewwiment. 
:3 MAWCADE. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy, x3 madam; fow x3 the nyews UwU I ;;w;; bwing 
Is x3 heavy uWu in x3 my :33 tongue. uWu The ^w^ King x3 youw ^-^ fathew- 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^.^ Dead, fow x3 my wife! 
:3 MAWCADE. Even so; x3 my xDD tawe >_> is uWu towd. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. xDD WOwthies :3 away; x3 the scene ÚwÚ begins to ÚwÚ cwoud. 
x3 AWMADO. For >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, UwU I ;;w;; bweathe fwee >_< bweath. UwU I uWu have :3 seen x3 the 
day of wrong ^w^ thwough x3 the xDD wittwe x3 howe of discretion, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww 
>w< wight mysewf ^.^ wike :3 a OwO sowdiew. Exeunt WOWTHIES 
>w< KING. How fawes x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty? 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. :3 Boyet, pwepawe; UwU I xDD wiww OwO away to-night. 
>w< KING. uWu Madam, nyot so; UwU I UwU do :33 beseech xDD you >_< stay. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^-^ Pwepawe, UwU I :3 say. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, >_> gwacious wowds, 
For aww x3 youw >w< faiw endeavouws, ÚwÚ and entreat, 
UwU Out of :3 a xDD nyew-sad x3 souw, :3 that xDD you x3 vouchsafe 
^w^ In x3 youw rich ^.^ wisdom to UwU excuse ow hide 
uWu The xDD wibewaw :33 opposition of UwU ouw ^.^ spiwits, 
;;w;; If ^w^ uvw-bowdwy ^.^ we uWu have :3 bownye ouwsewves 
^w^ In x3 the convewse of bweath- x3 youw ^-^ gentwenyess 
Was guiwty of :3 it. UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ wowthy OwO wowd. 
^-^ A x3 heavy >_< heawt bears nyot :3 a >_< nyimbwe :33 tongue. 
xDD Excuse ;;w;; me >_> so, xDD coming ^w^ too showt of thanks 
For x3 my great >_> suit UwU so easily ^-^ obtain'd. 
>w< KING. uWu The extweme parts of time OwO extwemewy uWu fowms 
All ÚwÚ causes to x3 the OwO puwpose of :33 his ÚwÚ speed; 
xDD And often uWu at :33 his xDD vewy ;;w;; woose >w< decides 
:33 That which ^-^ wong xDD pwocess couwd nyot arbitrate. 
xDD And ^w^ though x3 the >w< mouwnying ^w^ bwow of ^-^ pwogeny 
x3 Fowbid x3 the x3 smiwing >w< couwtesy of wuv 
uWu The >w< howy >_> suit which >_> fain >w< it ^.^ wouwd ^.^ convince, 
Yet, xDD since love's :33 awgument UwU was xDD fiwst on xDD foot, 
Let nyot x3 the ;;w;; cwoud of sorrow >_> justwe >w< it 
Fwom >_> what >w< it :3 puwpos'd; xDD since to waiw ^w^ fwiends wost 
Is nyot ^.^ by much UwU so UwU whowesome-pwofitabwe 
;;w;; As to rejoice uWu at ^w^ fwiends >_> but x3 nyewwy uWu found. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. UwU I understand xDD you x3 nyot; x3 my griefs OwO awe ^-^ doubwe. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. :3 Honyest uWu pwain wowds best xDD piewce x3 the ear of gwief; 
xDD And ^.^ by these ^.^ badges understand x3 the ;;w;; King. 
For x3 youw >w< faiw UwU sakes uWu have ^.^ we neglected time, 
x3 Pway'd fouw :33 pway with UwU ouw :3 oaths; x3 youw >w< beauty, x3 wadies, 
>_< Hath much >_< defowmed us, fashioning UwU ouw humours 
Even to x3 the >_< opposed >w< end of UwU ouw ^.^ intents; 
xDD And >_> what uWu in >_> us hath ^w^ seem'd widicuwous, 
;;w;; As wuv >_> is full of unbefitting OwO stwains, 
All >_< wanton >_< as :3 a child, ^.^ skipping ÚwÚ and OwO vain; 
ÚwÚ Fowm'd ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and OwO thewefowe, ^.^ wike x3 the >_< eye, 
Full of ;;w;; stwange ^w^ shapes, of ;;w;; habits, ÚwÚ and of x3 fowms, 
:33 Vawying uWu in subjects >_< as x3 the ^w^ eye xDD doth ;;w;; woww 
;;w;; To every vawied :33 object uWu in :33 his uWu gwance; 
>_< Which UwU pawti-coated x3 pwesence of ;;w;; woose wuv 
>_> Put on ^.^ by us, >_> if uWu in x3 youw ^-^ heavenwy eyes 
:3 Have >_> misbecom'd UwU ouw >w< oaths ÚwÚ and ^-^ gwavities, 
>w< Those ^-^ heavenwy eyes :3 that wook x3 into these :33 fauwts 
:3 Suggested >_> us to >_> make. >_< Thewefowe, x3 wadies, 
Our wuv ^.^ being >_< youws, x3 the ewwow :3 that wuv x3 makes 
Is >_< wikewise x3 youws. We to ouwsewves ^-^ pwuv :3 fawse, 
^-^ By ^.^ being >_> once UwU fawse fow OwO evew to be true 
;;w;; To UwU those :3 that >_< make >_> us :3 both- >w< faiw x3 wadies, uWu you; 
xDD And even :3 that fawsehood, uWu in itsewf :3 a ^w^ sin, 
^-^ Thus purifies itsewf ÚwÚ and tuwns to grace. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. We uWu have weceiv'd x3 youw letters, full of love; 
uWu Youw favouws, x3 the ambassadors of love; 
^.^ And, uWu in UwU ouw >_< maiden ;;w;; counciw, :33 wated them 
At couwtship, >_> pweasant ^.^ jest, ÚwÚ and couwtesy, 
;;w;; As >w< bombast ÚwÚ and >_< as :3 winying to x3 the time; 
OwO But ^.^ mowe devout than ÚwÚ this uWu in UwU ouw UwU wespects 
:3 Have ^.^ we nyot xDD been; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe >w< met x3 youw loves 
^w^ In uWu theiw UwU own fashion, ^.^ wike :3 a :33 mewwiment. 
^-^ DUMAIN. Our letters, UwU madam, ^w^ show'd much ^.^ mowe than ;;w;; jest. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. ^w^ So uWu did UwU ouw OwO wooks. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. We uWu did nyot quote them :3 so. 
>w< KING. >_> Nyow, uWu at x3 the ^-^ watest minyute of x3 the ^-^ houw, 
Grant >_> us x3 youw :3 wuvs. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. ^-^ A time, UwU methinks, ^w^ too showt 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a wowwd-without-end ^w^ bawgain ^.^ in. 
:3 Nyo, no, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 youw Gwace >_> is >w< pewjuw'd ÚwÚ much, 
Full of uWu deaw guiltiness; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe uWu this, 
;;w;; If fow x3 my xDD wuv, >_< as there >_> is nyo xDD such >_< cause, 
>_> You xDD wiww UwU do >w< aught- ÚwÚ this UwU shaww xDD you UwU do fow ;;w;; me: 
uWu Youw ^-^ oath UwU I xDD wiww nyot twust; >_> but OwO go with ^w^ speed 
;;w;; To x3 some ^.^ fowwown ÚwÚ and nyaked hewmitage, 
Wemote from aww x3 the >_< pweasuwes of x3 the wowwd; 
>_> Thewe xDD stay ÚwÚ untiw x3 the >_< twewve ^w^ cewestiaw signs 
:3 Have ^.^ bwought about x3 the >w< annyuaw reckoning. 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this :33 austewe :33 insociabwe >w< wife 
Change nyot x3 youw offer UwU made uWu in ^.^ heat of bwood, 
;;w;; If frosts ÚwÚ and fasts, x3 hawd ;;w;; wodging ÚwÚ and >_< thin ÚwÚ weeds, 
Nip nyot x3 the ^w^ gaudy xDD bwossoms of x3 youw xDD wuv, 
OwO But :3 that >w< it UwU beaw ÚwÚ this OwO twiaw, ÚwÚ and >w< wast xDD wuv, 
Then, uWu at x3 the xDD expiwation of x3 the >w< yeaw, 
^.^ Come, challenge uWu me, challenge ;;w;; me ^.^ by these xDD desewts; 
^.^ And, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ;;w;; viwgin ^.^ pawm nyow xDD kissing xDD thinye, 
UwU I xDD wiww be thine; x3 and, >w< tiww :3 that ÚwÚ instant, shut 
OwO My ^.^ woefuw self x3 up uWu in :3 a ^-^ mouwnfuw house, 
uWu Wainying x3 the tears of wamentation 
For x3 the wemembwance of x3 my father's death. 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this xDD thou UwU do deny, wet UwU ouw ^.^ hands >_> pawt, 
>_> Nyeithew intitwed uWu in x3 the ;;w;; othew's ;;w;; heawt. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; If uWu this, ow ^.^ mowe than uWu this, UwU I ^.^ wouwd deny, 
;;w;; To flatter x3 up these ÚwÚ powews of >_< minye with ^-^ west, 
uWu The ^.^ sudden uWu hand of :33 death ^-^ cwose x3 up >_< minye OwO eye! 
OwO Hence :33 hewmit >w< then, x3 my >_< heawt >_> is uWu in >w< thy UwU bweast. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. xDD And >_> what to uWu me, x3 my love? ÚwÚ and >_> what to me? 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. >_> You ^w^ must ^.^ he puwged :3 too, x3 youw :3 sins OwO awe >_> wack'd; 
>_> You OwO awe attaint with :33 fauwts ÚwÚ and perjury; 
>_< Thewefowe, >_> if xDD you x3 my ^.^ favouw >_> mean to ÚwÚ get, 
^-^ A ;;w;; twewvemonth UwU shaww xDD you ;;w;; spend, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew ^-^ west, 
OwO But >_> seek x3 the ÚwÚ weawy beds of OwO peopwe ;;w;; sick. 
^-^ DUMAIN. OwO But >_> what to uWu me, x3 my love? >_> but >_> what to me? 
^-^ A :33 wife? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ^-^ A UwU beawd, >w< faiw :33 heawth, ÚwÚ and honyesty; 
With >_> thweefowd wuv UwU I ÚwÚ wish xDD you aww these thwee. 
^-^ DUMAIN. >_< O, UwU shaww UwU I >_> say UwU I >_> thank UwU you, ^-^ gentwe :33 wife? 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. No >_> so, x3 my wowd; :3 a ;;w;; twewvemonth ÚwÚ and :3 a day 
I'll mark nyo wowds :3 that :33 smooth-fac'd >_> wooews :3 say. 
:3 Come when x3 the ^w^ King xDD doth to x3 my uWu wady >_< come; 
Then, >_> if UwU I uWu have much xDD wuv, I'll UwU give xDD you some. 
^-^ DUMAIN. I'll serve uWu thee true ÚwÚ and x3 faithfuwwy >w< tiww UwU then. 
^.^ KATHAWINyE. ÚwÚ Yet >_< sweaw >_> nyot, xDD west OwO ye be ;;w;; fowswown ;;w;; again. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. >_> What ;;w;; says :3 Mawia? 
MARIA. At x3 the twelvemonth's >w< end 
I'll change x3 my black ÚwÚ gown fow :3 a faithfuw :3 fwiend. 
OwO WONGAVIWWE. I'll xDD stay with >_> patience; >_> but x3 the time >_> is wong. 
MARIA. uWu The :33 wikew uWu you; x3 few ^.^ tawwew OwO awe UwU so ^w^ young. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Studies x3 my x3 wady? Mistwess, wook on OwO me; 
ÚwÚ Behowd x3 the window of x3 my uWu heawt, >_< minye >_< eye, 
>_> What humble >_> suit ^.^ attends >w< thy answew :33 thewe. 
xDD Impose x3 some OwO sewvice on ;;w;; me fow >w< thy love. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. x3 Oft uWu have UwU I heard of UwU you, x3 my Lord Bewownye, 
^.^ Befowe UwU I saw uWu you; ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO wowwd's large >_> tongue 
Pwocwaims xDD you fow :3 a x3 man UwU wepwete with OwO mocks, 
Full of UwU compawisons ÚwÚ and ^w^ wounding flouts, 
>_< Which xDD you on aww estates xDD wiww :33 execute 
:33 That >_< wie within x3 the xDD mewcy of x3 youw >_< wit. 
;;w;; To >_< weed ÚwÚ this >_> wowmwood from x3 youw :33 fwuitfuw :3 bwain, 
xDD And UwU thewewithaw to x3 win uWu me, >_> if xDD you please, 
Without x3 the which UwU I ^w^ am nyot to be >_> won, 
>_> You UwU shaww ÚwÚ this ;;w;; twewvemonth term from day to day 
Visit x3 the speechwess :33 sick, ÚwÚ and still convewse 
With ;;w;; gwoanying wretches; ÚwÚ and x3 youw :3 task UwU shaww be, 
With aww x3 the >_< fiewce endeavouw of x3 youw ^w^ wit, 
;;w;; To enforce x3 the xDD painyed impotent to smile. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ;;w;; To move >w< wiwd :33 waughtew uWu in x3 the ^w^ thwoat of UwU death? 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be; >w< it >_> is impossibwe; 
>_< Miwth ;;w;; cannyot move :3 a :3 souw uWu in uWu agony. 
;;w;; WOSAWINyE. Why, ^w^ that's x3 the uWu way to >_< choke :3 a gibing ^-^ spiwit, 
>_< Whose ÚwÚ infwuence >_> is ^.^ begot of :3 that ;;w;; woose xDD gwace 
>_< Which shallow x3 waughing ÚwÚ heawews UwU give to ;;w;; foows. 
^-^ A jest's >_> pwospewity wies uWu in x3 the ear 
Of ^.^ him :3 that x3 heaws :33 it, >_< nyevew uWu in x3 the >_> tongue 
Of ^.^ him :3 that x3 makes uWu it; >w< then, >_> if >_> sickwy ;;w;; eaws, 
>_< Deaf'd with x3 the clamours of uWu theiw UwU own uWu deaw :33 gwoans, 
Will hear x3 youw idle scowns, >w< continyue >w< then, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww uWu have xDD you ÚwÚ and :3 that ;;w;; fauwt uWu withaw. 
OwO But >_> if ;;w;; they xDD wiww >_> nyot, ^-^ thwow OwO away :3 that ^-^ spiwit, 
xDD And UwU I UwU shaww find xDD you :33 empty of :3 that ^w^ fauwt, 
x3 Wight >w< joyfuw of x3 youw ;;w;; wefowmation. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. ^-^ A x3 twewvemonth? xDD Weww, befaww >_> what xDD wiww :33 befaww, 
I'll xDD jest :3 a ;;w;; twewvemonth uWu in >w< an :3 hospitaw. 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. :3 [ ;;w;; To x3 the >_> King] Ay, x3 sweet x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I OwO take 
x3 my >_< weave. 
>w< KING. :3 Nyo, x3 madam; ^.^ we xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing xDD you on x3 youw >_> way. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. Our :33 wooing xDD doth nyot >w< end ^.^ wike >w< an ;;w;; owd play: 
x3 Jack hath nyot uWu Jiww. ;;w;; These ;;w;; wadies' >w< couwtesy 
^.^ Might weww uWu have UwU made UwU ouw spowt :3 a :33 comedy. 
>w< KING. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, >w< it wants :3 a ;;w;; twewvemonth an' :3 a ^-^ day, 
xDD And xDD then 'twill OwO end. 
xDD BEWOWNyE. >w< That's ^w^ too ^-^ wong fow :3 a play. 

^.^ We-entew ARMADO 

x3 AWMADO. ÚwÚ Sweet ÚwÚ Majesty, x3 vouchsafe me- 
>_> PWINCESS ÚwÚ OF x3 FWANCE. Was nyot :3 that nyot Hector? 
^-^ DUMAIN. uWu The ÚwÚ wowthy knight of >_> Twoy. 
x3 AWMADO. UwU I xDD wiww :3 kiss >w< thy royal finger, ÚwÚ and OwO take >_< weave. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a 
ÚwÚ votawy: UwU I uWu have ^.^ vow'd to Jaquenetta to howd x3 the pwough fow her 
x3 sweet wuv >w< thwee year. But, UwU most esteemed greatness, xDD wiww xDD you 
hear x3 the UwU diawogue :3 that x3 the >w< two :33 weawnyed ;;w;; men uWu have OwO compiwed uWu in 
praise of x3 the :3 Oww ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU Cuckoo? ^.^ It >_> shouwd uWu have fowwowed uWu in x3 the 
>w< end of UwU ouw show. 
>w< KING. ;;w;; Caww them fowth ^.^ quickwy; ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU do :3 so. 
x3 AWMADO. Holla! ;;w;; appwoach. 

Entew All 

This x3 side >_> is xDD Hiems, ;;w;; Wintew; ÚwÚ this uWu Vew, x3 the >_< Spwing- x3 the one 
^.^ maintainyed ^.^ by x3 the >_> Oww, x3 th' othew ^.^ by x3 the :3 Cuckoo. uWu Vew, ;;w;; begin. 

SPRING 
x3 When ^-^ daisies pied ÚwÚ and violets blue 
xDD And ^.^ wady-smocks aww siwvew-white 
xDD And >w< cuckoo-buds of >w< yewwow :33 hue 
Do OwO paint x3 the meadows with OwO dewight, 
uWu The ;;w;; cuckoo xDD then on every twee 
uWu Mocks mawwied men, fow OwO thus ^-^ sings :33 he: 
'Cuckoo; 
^-^ Cuckoo, ^w^ cuckoo'- x3 O ;;w;; wowd of ;;w;; feaw, 
x3 Unpweasing to :3 a mawwied :33 eaw! 

x3 When xDD shephewds :33 pipe on :3 oaten OwO stwaws, 
xDD And ^.^ mewwy larks OwO awe >w< pwoughmen's ^.^ cwocks; 
x3 When >_> tuwtwes tread, ÚwÚ and :33 wooks ÚwÚ and >w< daws, 
xDD And ^.^ maidens ^w^ bweach uWu theiw ^-^ summew OwO smocks; 
uWu The ;;w;; cuckoo xDD then on every twee 
uWu Mocks mawwied men, fow OwO thus ^-^ sings :33 he: 
'Cuckoo; 
^-^ Cuckoo, ^w^ cuckoo'- x3 O ;;w;; wowd of ;;w;; feaw, 
x3 Unpweasing to :3 a mawwied :33 eaw! 


WINTEW 

x3 When icicwes ^w^ hang ^.^ by x3 the :3 waww, 
xDD And UwU Dick x3 the xDD shephewd ^w^ bwows :33 his xDD nyaiw, 
xDD And Tom bears logs x3 into x3 the :3 haww, 
xDD And milk x3 comes uWu fwozen ^.^ home uWu in paiw, 
x3 When :3 bwood >_> is nipp'd, ÚwÚ and ways be foul, 
UwU Then xDD nyightwy ^-^ sings x3 the >_> stawing :3 oww: 
UwU 'Tu-who; 
Tu-whit, :3 Tu-who'- ^-^ A ^.^ mewwy :3 nyote, 
While ^-^ gweasy UwU Joan xDD doth :3 keew x3 the xDD pot. 

x3 When aww >_< awoud x3 the wind xDD doth blow, 
xDD And coughing dwowns x3 the parson's ;;w;; saw, 
xDD And xDD biwds sit ^.^ bwooding uWu in x3 the ;;w;; snyow, 
xDD And ÚwÚ Mawian's x3 nyose :33 wooks red ÚwÚ and waw, 
x3 When OwO woasted :3 cwabs xDD hiss uWu in x3 the UwU boww, 
UwU Then xDD nyightwy ^-^ sings x3 the >_> stawing :3 oww: 
UwU 'Tu-who; 
Tu-whit, ^w^ To-who'- ^-^ A ^.^ mewwy :3 nyote, 
While ^-^ gweasy UwU Joan xDD doth :3 keew x3 the xDD pot. 

x3 AWMADO. uWu The wowds of :33 Mewcuwy OwO awe UwU hawsh ÚwÚ aftew x3 the songs of ;;w;; Apowwo. 
>_> You :3 that >_< way: ^.^ we ÚwÚ this >_> way. Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 






1606 

^-^ THE uWu TWAGEDY ÚwÚ OF :3 MACBETH 


^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

>_< DUNCAN, ^w^ King of :3 Scotwand 
OwO MACBETH, Thane of ^w^ Gwamis ÚwÚ and Cawdow, :3 a general uWu in x3 the >_< King's ^.^ awmy 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH, :33 his >w< wife 
uWu MACDUFF, Thane of x3 Fife, :3 a nyobweman of :3 Scotwand 
:3 WADY uWu MACDUFF, :33 his >w< wife 
:33 MAWCOWM, :33 ewdew >_< son of >_> Duncan 
DONyAWBAIN, :3 youngew >_< son of >_> Duncan 
xDD BANQUO, Thane of ;;w;; Wochabew, :3 a general uWu in x3 the >_< King's ^.^ awmy 
:3 FWEANCE, :33 his >_< son 
>_< WENNyOX, nyobweman of :3 Scotwand 
:3 WOSS, nyobweman of :3 Scotwand 
:3 MENTEITH nyobweman of :3 Scotwand 
ANGUS, nyobweman of :3 Scotwand 
^.^ CAITHNyESS, nyobweman of :3 Scotwand 
SIWAWD, ^-^ Eaww of >_> Nyowthumbewwand, general of x3 the :3 Engwish forces 
:3 YOUNG SIWAWD, :33 his >_< son 
>w< SEYTON, x3 attendant to ^.^ Macbeth 
HECATE, xDD Queen of x3 the Witches 
uWu The Thwee Witches 
:33 Boy, ^-^ Son of >_< Macduff 
Gentlewoman :33 attending on xDD Wady ^.^ Macbeth 
^-^ An :3 Engwish uWu Doctow 
^-^ A ^.^ Scottish uWu Doctow 
^-^ A Sergeant 
^-^ A Porter 
^-^ An ^-^ Owd ^-^ Man 
uWu The >_< Ghost of Banquo ÚwÚ and othew ^w^ Appawitions 
;;w;; Wowds, ÚwÚ Gentwemen, ^-^ Officews, Soldiers, Murtherers, ;;w;; Attendants, 
ÚwÚ and Messengews 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: :3 Scotwand ÚwÚ and England 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^-^ A desewt ;;w;; pwace. Thunder ÚwÚ and >_< wightnying. 

Entew >w< thwee ^-^ Witches. 

uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. x3 When UwU shaww ^.^ we >w< thwee :3 meet ^w^ again? 
^w^ In thundew, lightning, ow uWu in wain? 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. x3 When x3 the xDD huwwybuwwy's :33 donye, 
x3 When x3 the battle's wost ÚwÚ and uWu won. 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. :33 That xDD wiww be ere x3 the uWu set of OwO sun. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. Whewe x3 the :3 pwace? 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. >_> Upon x3 the ;;w;; heath. 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. >_> Thewe to :3 meet with OwO Macbeth. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. UwU I come, Graymalkin. 
uWu AWW. UwU Paddock calls. Anon! 
Faiw >_> is foul, ÚwÚ and fouw >_> is >_< faiw. 
>_> Huvw ^w^ thwough x3 the >_> fog ÚwÚ and :33 fiwthy air. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A ÚwÚ camp nyeaw :33 Fowwes. Alarum x3 within. 

Entew xDD Duncan, ^.^ Mawcowm, Donyawbain, Lennox, with ;;w;; Attendants, 
meeting :3 a xDD bweeding Sergeant. 

DUNCAN. >_> What bwoody x3 man >_> is ^-^ that? >w< He ^.^ can wepowt, 
;;w;; As seemeth ^.^ by :33 his ^w^ pwight, of x3 the ;;w;; wevowt 
uWu The newest state. 
MAWCOWM. This >_> is x3 the sewgeant 
Who ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and ^-^ hawdy soldier ÚwÚ fought 
^w^ 'Gainst x3 my captivity. >w< Haiw, >_< bwave >_> fwiend! 
x3 Say to x3 the ^w^ King x3 the >_< knyowwedge of x3 the ^w^ bwoiw 
;;w;; As xDD thou :33 didst OwO weave :3 it. 
SEWGEANT. ^.^ Doubtfuw >w< it >_> stood, 
;;w;; As >w< two xDD spent swimmews :3 that UwU do cling togethew 
xDD And >_< choke uWu theiw art. uWu The merciless Macdonwawd- 
Wowthy to be :3 a xDD webew, fow to :3 that 
uWu The multiplying viwwainyies of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
Do swarm ;;w;; upon ^.^ him -from x3 the Western Iswes 
Of k-kewns ÚwÚ and gawwowgwasses >_> is >w< suppwied; 
xDD And ÚwÚ Fowtunye, on :33 his uWu damnyed ^-^ quawwew :3 smiwing, 
Show'd ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ webew's ^-^ whowe. OwO But aww's ^w^ too >_> weak; 
For >_< bwave ^.^ Macbeth uWu -weww ^.^ he >_> desewves :3 that nyame- 
ÚwÚ Disdainying ÚwÚ Fowtunye, with :33 his :3 bwandish'd >w< steew, 
>_< Which xDD smoked with bwoody execution, 
Wike >_< Vawow's uWu minyion x3 cawved x3 out :33 his uWu passage 
Tiww ^.^ he faced x3 the :33 swave, 
>_< Which ^w^ nye'ew >_> shook ^.^ hands, nor ;;w;; bade >_< faweweww to :3 him, 
Tiww ^.^ he ^-^ unseam'd ^.^ him from x3 the ^-^ nyave to x3 the ÚwÚ chaps, 
xDD And fix'd :33 his >_> head ;;w;; upon UwU ouw battlements. 
DUNCAN. x3 O uWu vawiant x3 cousin! Wowthy gentleman! 
SEWGEANT. ;;w;; As >_> whence x3 the sun ^w^ 'gins :33 his wefwection 
Shipwrecking storms ÚwÚ and ^.^ diwefuw :3 thundews break, 
^w^ So from :3 that ^-^ spwing >_> whence uWu comfowt ^w^ seem'd to come 
>w< Discomfowt swells. ;;w;; Mawk, ^w^ King of :33 Scotwand, >w< mawk. 
No :33 soonyew justice :33 had, with xDD vawow arm'd, 
uWu Compeww'd these ^.^ skipping k-kewns to :33 twust uWu theiw heews, 
OwO But x3 the Nyowweyan uWu wowd, surveying vantage, 
With OwO fuwbish'd :3 awms ÚwÚ and x3 nyew supplies of men, 
:3 Began :3 a >w< fwesh xDD assauwt. 
DUNCAN. Dismay'd nyot ÚwÚ this 
Our ^w^ captains, ^.^ Macbeth ÚwÚ and Banquo.? 
SEWGEANT. Yes, 
;;w;; As ^.^ spawwows UwU eagwes, ow x3 the UwU hawe x3 the >_> wion. 
;;w;; If UwU I >_> say sooth, UwU I ^w^ must wepowt ;;w;; they :3 wewe 
;;w;; As cannons x3 uvwchawged with :3 doubwe >_> cwacks, 
^w^ So ;;w;; they 
^w^ Doubwy xDD wedoubwed strokes ;;w;; upon x3 the foe. 
UwU Except ;;w;; they meant to ^.^ bathe uWu in weeking ;;w;; wounds, 
:33 Ow :33 memowize anyothew ;;w;; Gowgotha, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot x3 teww- 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ am >w< faint; x3 my UwU gashes cwy fow ;;w;; hewp. 
DUNCAN. ^w^ So weww >w< thy wowds :33 become uWu thee >_< as >w< thy >_< wounds; 
^-^ They ;;w;; smack of honyow xDD both. Go get ^.^ him surgeons. 
uWu Exit Sergeant, ÚwÚ attended. 
Who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew Ross. 

MAWCOWM uWu The ÚwÚ wowthy Thane of Ross. 
WENNyOX. >_> What :3 a ^.^ haste :33 wooks ^w^ thwough :33 his xDD eyes! ^w^ So >_> shouwd ^.^ he wook 
:33 That ;;w;; seems to speak ^.^ things x3 stwange. 
:3 WOSS. ^w^ God :3 save x3 the King! 
DUNCAN. OwO Whence :33 camest UwU thou, ÚwÚ wowthy x3 Thanye? 
:3 WOSS. Fwom x3 Fife, great OwO King, 
Whewe x3 the Nyowweyan ^-^ bannyews fwout x3 the sky 
xDD And >_> fan UwU ouw OwO peopwe cowd. 
^w^ Nyowway himsewf, with tewwibwe OwO nyumbews, 
^-^ Assisted ^.^ by :3 that UwU most :3 diswoyaw traitor 
uWu The Thane of Cawdow, began :3 a ÚwÚ dismaw >_> confwict, 
Tiww :3 that Bellona's >_< bwidegwoom, wapp'd uWu in uWu pwoof, 
Confwonted ^.^ him with ÚwÚ sewf-compawisons, 
Point OwO against :33 point xDD webewwious, awm uWu 'gainst ^.^ awm, 
UwU Cuwbing :33 his ^.^ wavish uWu spiwit; x3 and, to ^w^ concwude, 
uWu The OwO victowy UwU feww on >_> us. 
DUNCAN. UwU Gweat happiness! 
:3 WOSS. :33 That nyow 
Sweno, x3 the Norways' OwO king, cwaves >w< composition; 
x3 Nyow ^.^ wouwd ^.^ we >_< deign ^.^ him >w< buwiaw of :33 his ;;w;; men 
Tiww ^.^ he OwO disbuwsed, uWu at Saint >w< Cowme's >_< Inch, 
uWu Ten thousand ;;w;; dowwaws to UwU ouw general ÚwÚ use. 
DUNCAN. No ^.^ mowe :3 that Thane of OwO Cawdow UwU shaww >w< deceive 
Our ^w^ bosom OwO intewest. Go pwonyounce :33 his xDD pwesent UwU death, 
xDD And with :33 his xDD fowmew ;;w;; titwe x3 gweet OwO Macbeth. 
:3 WOSS. I'll >_> see >w< it ^-^ donye. 
DUNCAN. >_> What ^.^ he hath :3 wost, x3 nyobwe ^.^ Macbeth hath uWu won. 
:33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A ;;w;; heath. Thunder. 

Entew x3 the >w< thwee ^-^ Witches. 

uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. Whewe x3 hast xDD thou ^-^ been, ^-^ sistew? 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. Killing ^w^ swinye. 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. x3 Sistew, :3 whewe thou? 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. ^-^ A x3 saiwow's >w< wife xDD had >_< chestnyuts uWu in her UwU wap, 
xDD And ^w^ mounch'd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ mounch'd, ÚwÚ and xDD mounch'd. "Give ;;w;; me," quoth ^.^ I. 
OwO "Awoint ÚwÚ thee, >w< witch!" x3 the uWu wump-fed ;;w;; wonyon ^w^ cwies. 
:3 Hew husband's to Aleppo >w< gonye, >_< mastew x3 the ÚwÚ Tigew; 
OwO But uWu in :3 a ^w^ sieve I'll uWu thithew sail, 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ wat ^-^ without :3 a >_> taiw, 
I'll UwU do, I'll UwU do, ÚwÚ and I'll xDD do. 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. I'll UwU give uWu thee :3 a ^.^ wind. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. ^w^ Thou'wt kind. 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. xDD And UwU I anyothew. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. UwU I mysewf uWu have aww x3 the ÚwÚ othew, 
xDD And x3 the xDD vewy ports ;;w;; they blow, 
All x3 the quarters :3 that ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow 
xDD I' x3 the ÚwÚ shipman's card. 
UwU I xDD wiww >_< dwain ^.^ him xDD dwy >_< as ^.^ hay: 
OwO Sweep UwU shaww :3 nyeithew >w< nyight nor day 
Hang ;;w;; upon :33 his penthouse :3 wid; 
>w< He UwU shaww ^w^ wive :3 a x3 man UwU fowbid. 
:33 Weawy >w< se'nnyights >w< nyinye times >w< nyinye 
Shall ^.^ he dwindle, :33 peak, ÚwÚ and >_< pinye; 
;;w;; Though :33 his >_< bawk ;;w;; cannyot be :3 wost, 
ÚwÚ Yet >w< it UwU shaww be tempest-toss'd. 
Wook >_> what UwU I :3 have. 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. uWu Show uWu me, x3 show x3 me. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. :3 Hewe UwU I uWu have :3 a uWu piwot's :3 thumb, 
ÚwÚ Wweck'd >_< as uWu homewawd ^.^ he uWu did x3 come. Drum x3 within. 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. ^-^ A dwum, :3 a ÚwÚ dwum! 
^.^ Macbeth xDD doth x3 come. 
uWu AWW. uWu The uWu weiwd sistews, uWu hand uWu in uWu hand, 
Posters of x3 the sea ÚwÚ and land, 
^-^ Thus UwU do OwO go about, about, 
uWu Thwice to xDD thinye, ÚwÚ and thrice to >_> minye, 
xDD And thrice OwO again, to >_< make x3 up nine. 
;;w;; Peace! uWu The >_> chawm's ;;w;; wound :33 up. 

Entew ^.^ Macbeth ÚwÚ and xDD Banquo. 

OwO MACBETH. ^w^ So fouw ÚwÚ and >w< faiw :3 a day UwU I uWu have nyot ÚwÚ seen. 
;;w;; BANQUO. How uWu faw :3 is't ^w^ caww'd to >_> Fowwes? >_> What OwO awe these 
^w^ So :33 withew'd ÚwÚ and UwU so >w< wiwd uWu in uWu theiw xDD attiwe, 
:33 That wook nyot ^.^ wike x3 the inhabitants ^.^ o' x3 the earth, 
xDD And yet OwO awe ^.^ on't? Wive you? ow OwO awe xDD you ^.^ aught 
:33 That x3 man OwO may x3 question? >_> You xDD seem to understand uWu me, 
^-^ By >_< each uWu at >_> once her choppy finger >w< waying 
>_> Upon her skinny x3 wips. >_> You >_> shouwd be UwU women, 
xDD And yet x3 youw beards UwU fowbid ;;w;; me to UwU intewpwet 
:33 That xDD you OwO awe :3 so. 
OwO MACBETH. ÚwÚ Speak, >_> if xDD you ;;w;; can. >_> What OwO awe you? 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. All hail, :3 Macbeth, >_< haiw to ÚwÚ thee, Thane of >_< Gwamis! 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. All hail, :3 Macbeth, >_< haiw to ÚwÚ thee, Thane of ^.^ Cawdow! 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. All hail, :3 Macbeth, :3 that shalt be ^w^ King hereafter! 
;;w;; BANQUO. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, >w< why UwU do xDD you :33 stawt, ÚwÚ and xDD seem to feaw 
^w^ Things :3 that UwU do >_> sound UwU so uWu faiw? xDD I' x3 the xDD nyame of truth, 
^w^ Awe OwO ye OwO fantasticaw ow :3 that ÚwÚ indeed 
>_< Which >_> outwawdwy OwO ye UwU show? OwO My x3 nyobwe ;;w;; pawtnyew 
>_> You x3 gweet with xDD pwesent xDD gwace ÚwÚ and great >w< pwediction 
Of x3 nyobwe xDD having ÚwÚ and of royal hope, 
:33 That ^.^ he ;;w;; seems wapt uWu withaw. ;;w;; To ;;w;; me xDD you speak not. 
;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ can wook x3 into x3 the >w< seeds of time, 
xDD And >_> say which ^-^ gwain xDD wiww gwow ÚwÚ and which xDD wiww >_> nyot, 
^w^ Speak xDD then to uWu me, who :3 nyeithew ÚwÚ beg nor feaw 
uWu Youw favows nor x3 youw ^.^ hate. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. Haiw! 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. Haiw! 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. Haiw! 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. ÚwÚ Wessew than :3 Macbeth, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; gweatew. 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so UwU happy, yet much :33 happiew. 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. ^.^ Thou shalt get OwO kings, ^w^ though xDD thou be none. 
^w^ So aww hail, ^.^ Macbeth ÚwÚ and Banquo! 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. Banquo ÚwÚ and :3 Macbeth, aww ^.^ haiw! 
OwO MACBETH. Stay, xDD you ^w^ impewfect speakews, tell ;;w;; me more. 
^-^ By >_< Sinyew's :33 death UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU I ^w^ am Thane of Glamis; 
OwO But >w< how of Cawdor? uWu The Thane of OwO Cawdow lives, 
^-^ A :33 pwospewous gentleman; ÚwÚ and to be ^w^ King 
Stands nyot within x3 the pwospect of >w< bewief, 
No ^.^ mowe than to be ^.^ Cawdow. x3 Say from >_> whence 
>_> You >_> owe ÚwÚ this ;;w;; stwange ^w^ intewwigence, ow >w< why 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this blasted heath xDD you ÚwÚ stop UwU ouw uWu way 
With xDD such ÚwÚ pwophetic greeting? ÚwÚ Speak, UwU I :3 chawge OwO you. 
Witches ÚwÚ vanyish. 
;;w;; BANQUO. uWu The ^.^ eawth hath bubbwes >_< as x3 the UwU watew has, 
xDD And these OwO awe of OwO them. x3 Whithew OwO awe ;;w;; they vanyish'd? 
OwO MACBETH. ^.^ Into x3 the air, ÚwÚ and >_> what ^w^ seem'd corporal mewted 
;;w;; As UwU bweath x3 into x3 the ^.^ wind. Wouwd ;;w;; they xDD had stay'd! 
;;w;; BANQUO. ^.^ Wewe xDD such ^.^ things OwO hewe >_< as ^.^ we UwU do speak x3 about? 
:33 Ow uWu have ^.^ we eaten on x3 the insane ^.^ woot 
:33 That UwU takes x3 the reason prisoner? 
OwO MACBETH. uWu Youw x3 chiwdwen UwU shaww be OwO kings. 
;;w;; BANQUO. >_> You UwU shaww be ;;w;; King. 
OwO MACBETH. xDD And Thane of OwO Cawdow UwU too. ^-^ Went >w< it nyot so? 
;;w;; BANQUO. ;;w;; To x3 the x3 sewfsame tune ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wowds. Who's hewe? 

Entew ÚwÚ Woss ÚwÚ and >_< Angus. 

:3 WOSS. uWu The ^w^ King hath happily UwU weceived, :3 Macbeth, 
uWu The nyews of >w< thy success; ÚwÚ and when ^.^ he weads 
x3 Thy xDD pewsonyaw venture uWu in x3 the ^.^ webews' x3 fight, 
ÚwÚ His wondews ÚwÚ and :33 his pwaises UwU do xDD contend 
>_< Which >_> shouwd be ^.^ thinye ow ÚwÚ his. ^w^ Siwenced with :3 that, 
^w^ In >w< viewing ^-^ o'ew x3 the xDD west ^.^ o' x3 the x3 sewfsame ^-^ day, 
>w< He ÚwÚ finds uWu thee uWu in x3 the :33 stout Nyowweyan ranks, 
Nyothing >_< afeawd of >_> what >w< thysewf :33 didst ;;w;; make, 
Stwange UwU images of death. ;;w;; As thick >_< as >_< haiw 
>_< Came x3 post with ÚwÚ post, ÚwÚ and every one uWu did UwU beaw 
x3 Thy pwaises uWu in :33 his kingdom's great >_> defense, 
xDD And :3 pouw'd them down >w< befowe ^.^ him. 
^.^ ANGUS. We OwO awe sent 
;;w;; To UwU give ÚwÚ thee, from UwU ouw royal ^.^ mastew, ^w^ thanks; 
Onwy to >_> hewawd uWu thee x3 into :33 his UwU sight, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 pay thee. 
:3 WOSS. xDD And fow >w< an xDD eawnyest of :3 a :33 gweatew honyow, 
>w< He ;;w;; bade uWu me, from :3 him, caww uWu thee Thane of ^.^ Cawdow. 
^w^ In which addition, hail, UwU most ÚwÚ wowthy Thanye, 
For >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ thinye. 
;;w;; BANQUO. What, ^.^ can x3 the ^.^ deviw speak twue? 
OwO MACBETH. uWu The Thane of OwO Cawdow ^.^ wives. Why UwU do xDD you :3 dwess ;;w;; me 
^w^ In borrow'd ^.^ wobes? 
^.^ ANGUS. Who UwU was x3 the Thane ;;w;; wives ^w^ yet, 
OwO But :33 undew x3 heavy ^w^ judgement bears :3 that >w< wife 
>_< Which ^.^ he >_> desewves to uWu wose. Whethew ^.^ he UwU was combinyed 
With UwU those of x3 Nyowway, ow uWu did winye x3 the rebel 
With ^-^ hidden OwO hewp ÚwÚ and vantage, ow :3 that with both 
>w< He >_< wabow'd uWu in :33 his >_> countwy's ^.^ wweck, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; 
OwO But :3 tweasons >_< capitaw, >_> confess'd ÚwÚ and proved, 
:3 Have overthrown ^.^ him. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< [Aside.] Gwamis, ÚwÚ and Thane of ^.^ Cawdow! 
uWu The ÚwÚ gweatest >_> is behind. :33 [To ÚwÚ Woss ÚwÚ and >w< Angus] x3 Thanks fow x3 youw 
OwO pains. 
^-^ [Aside to xDD Banquo] Do xDD you nyot UwU hope x3 youw x3 chiwdwen UwU shaww be OwO kings, 
x3 When UwU those :3 that uWu gave x3 the Thane of OwO Cawdow to ;;w;; me 
:33 Pwomised nyo less to them? 
;;w;; BANQUO. ^-^ [Aside to >_> Macbeth.] ^.^ That, >_< twusted ^.^ home, 
^.^ Might yet enkindwe xDD you >w< unto x3 the :3 cwown, 
Besides x3 the Thane of ^.^ Cawdow. OwO But UwU 'tis :3 stwange; 
xDD And oftentimes, to x3 win >_> us to UwU ouw >w< hawm, 
uWu The instwuments of >w< dawknyess tell >_> us x3 twuths, 
Win >_> us with xDD honyest twifwes, to ^.^ betway's 
^w^ In xDD deepest ÚwÚ consequence- 
uWu Cousins, :3 a word, UwU I pray OwO you. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< [Aside.] Two >_> twuths OwO awe x3 towd, 
;;w;; As ^w^ happy xDD pwowogues to x3 the xDD swewwing ;;w;; act 
Of x3 the ÚwÚ impewiaw >_< theme-I >_> thank UwU you, >_< gentwemen. 
>_< [Aside.] This :33 supewnyatuwaw sowiciting 
UwU Cannyot be UwU iww, ;;w;; cannyot be UwU good. ;;w;; If UwU iww, 
Why hath >w< it UwU given ;;w;; me xDD eawnyest of uWu success, 
Commencing uWu in :3 a uWu twuth? UwU I ^w^ am Thane of ^.^ Cawdow. 
;;w;; If UwU good, >w< why UwU do UwU I yield to :3 that ^w^ suggestion 
>_< Whose >_> howwid x3 image xDD doth unfix x3 my >_< haiw 
xDD And >_< make x3 my seated >_< heawt :3 knyock uWu at x3 my wibs, 
^w^ Against x3 the use of ^.^ nyatuwe? ^w^ Pwesent OwO feaws 
^w^ Awe less than howwibwe >w< imaginyings: 
OwO My ^-^ thought, x3 whose muwthew yet >_> is >_> but >w< fantasticaw, 
OwO Shakes UwU so x3 my :3 singwe >w< state of x3 man :3 that ^.^ function 
Is smother'd uWu in OwO suwmise, ÚwÚ and >_< nyothing >_> is 
OwO But >_> what >_> is not. 
;;w;; BANQUO. x3 Wook, >w< how UwU ouw pawtnyew's wapt. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< [Aside.] ;;w;; If chance xDD wiww uWu have ;;w;; me OwO King, >w< why, chance OwO may 
>_< cwown ;;w;; me 
Without x3 my stir. 
;;w;; BANQUO. xDD Nyew honyows come ;;w;; upon :3 him, 
Wike UwU ouw ;;w;; stwange garments, ÚwÚ cweave nyot to uWu theiw mould 
OwO But with x3 the >_> aid of ÚwÚ use. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< [Aside.] :3 Come >_> what come may, 
^-^ Time ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> houw wuns ^w^ thwough x3 the woughest x3 day. 
;;w;; BANQUO. Wowthy :3 Macbeth, ^.^ we xDD stay ;;w;; upon x3 youw xDD weisuwe. 
OwO MACBETH. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw ^w^ favow; x3 my dull :3 bwain UwU was ;;w;; wwought 
With ^.^ things forgotten. Kind xDD gentwemen, x3 youw ^w^ pains 
^w^ Awe OwO wegistew'd :3 whewe every day UwU I turn 
uWu The OwO weaf to ^w^ wead OwO them. Let >_> us toward x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^w^ Think ;;w;; upon >_> what hath chanced, ÚwÚ and uWu at ^.^ mowe time, 
uWu The intewim xDD having x3 weigh'd :33 it, wet >_> us speak 
Our fwee heawts >_< each to :3 othew. 
;;w;; BANQUO. Very gladly. 
OwO MACBETH. Tiww >w< then, enyough. ^.^ Come, fwiends. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
:33 Fowwes. uWu The palace. 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew xDD Duncan, ^.^ Mawcowm, Donyawbain, Lennox, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

DUNCAN. Is :33 execution donye on Cawdor? ^w^ Awe nyot 
>w< Those uWu in OwO commission yet UwU wetuwn'd? 
MAWCOWM. OwO My ^.^ wiege, 
^-^ They OwO awe nyot yet come back. OwO But UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke 
With one :3 that saw ^.^ him >_> die, who uWu did wepowt 
:33 That xDD vewy fwankwy ^.^ he >_> confess'd :33 his uWu tweasons, 
;;w;; Impwowed x3 youw Highness' pardon, ÚwÚ and uWu set fowth 
^-^ A >_> deep repentance. Nyothing uWu in :33 his >w< wife 
^w^ Became ^.^ him ^.^ wike x3 the xDD weaving uWu it; ^.^ he >w< died 
;;w;; As one :3 that xDD had :33 been xDD studied uWu in :33 his UwU death, 
;;w;; To ^-^ thwow OwO away x3 the deawest ^.^ thing ^.^ he >_> owed 
;;w;; As >w< 'twewe :3 a xDD cawewess x3 twifwe. 
DUNCAN. >_> Thewe's nyo awt 
;;w;; To find x3 the mind's construction uWu in x3 the face: 
>w< He UwU was :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman on ÚwÚ whom UwU I buiwt 
^-^ An ^w^ absowute :33 twust. 

Entew :3 Macbeth, Banquo, Ross, ÚwÚ and >_< Angus. 

x3 O x3 wowthiest x3 cousin! 
uWu The x3 sin of x3 my ingratitude even nyow 
Was x3 heavy on x3 me. ^.^ Thou awt UwU so uWu faw x3 befowe, 
:33 That :33 swiftest OwO wing of recompense >_> is slow 
;;w;; To overtake thee. Wouwd xDD thou >w< hadst less ÚwÚ desewved, 
:33 That x3 the :33 pwopowtion both of thanks ÚwÚ and payment 
^.^ Might uWu have :33 been mine! Onwy UwU I uWu have left to say, 
uWu Mowe >_> is >w< thy >_< due than ^.^ mowe than aww ^.^ can :3 pay. 
OwO MACBETH. uWu The OwO sewvice ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD woyawty OwO wowe, 
^w^ In xDD doing :33 it, >w< pays itself. uWu Youw Highness' ÚwÚ pawt 
Is to receive UwU ouw ÚwÚ duties, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw >_> duties 
^w^ Awe to x3 youw >_< thwonye ÚwÚ and state, x3 chiwdwen ÚwÚ and x3 sewvants, 
>_< Which UwU do >_> but >_> what ;;w;; they should, ^.^ by xDD doing evewything 
^.^ Safe toward x3 youw wuv ÚwÚ and uWu honyow. 
DUNCAN. Welcome hithew. 
UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ begun to plant ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww xDD wabow 
;;w;; To >_< make uWu thee full of gwowing. Noble Banquo, 
:33 That x3 hast nyo less ÚwÚ desewved, nor ^w^ must be ÚwÚ knyown 
No less to uWu have donye so; wet ;;w;; me x3 infowd uWu thee 
xDD And howd uWu thee to x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
;;w;; BANQUO. >_> Thewe >_> if UwU I xDD gwow, 
uWu The harvest >_> is x3 youw own. 
DUNCAN. OwO My ^w^ pwenteous joys, 
ÚwÚ Wanton uWu in fullness, >_> seek to hide x3 themsewves 
^w^ In ^.^ dwops of ;;w;; sowwow. ^-^ Sons, :3 kinsmen, >_< thanyes, 
xDD And xDD you x3 whose pwaces OwO awe x3 the OwO nyeawest, ^.^ knyow 
We xDD wiww :3 estabwish UwU ouw estate ;;w;; upon 
Our >_> ewdest, ^.^ Mawcowm, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we xDD nyame heweaftew 
uWu The Prince of Cumberland; which honyow ^w^ must 
ÚwÚ Nyot unyaccompanyied ;;w;; invest ^.^ him >_> onwy, 
OwO But signs of nobleness, ^.^ wike ÚwÚ staws, UwU shaww shine 
On aww deservers. Fwom >w< hence to ^.^ Invewnyess, 
xDD And bind >_> us further to OwO you. 
OwO MACBETH. uWu The xDD west >_> is >_< wabow, which >_> is nyot used fow OwO you. 
I'll be mysewf x3 the ;;w;; hawbingew, ÚwÚ and >_< make >w< joyfuw 
uWu The hearing of x3 my >w< wife with x3 youw >_> appwoach; 
^w^ So x3 humbwy OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
DUNCAN. OwO My ÚwÚ wowthy ^.^ Cawdow! 
OwO MACBETH. >_< [Aside.] uWu The Prince of Cumberland! :33 That >_> is :3 a :33 step 
On which UwU I ^w^ must faww ;;w;; down, ow >_> ewse o'erleap, 
For uWu in x3 my uWu way >w< it uWu wies. Stars, hide x3 youw fires; 
Let nyot >w< wight >_> see x3 my black ÚwÚ and >_> deep :33 desiwes. 
uWu The ^w^ eye >_> wink uWu at x3 the xDD hand; yet wet :3 that be 
>_< Which x3 the ^w^ eye >_> feaws, when >w< it >_> is :33 donye, to ^-^ see. ÚwÚ Exit. 
DUNCAN. >_< Twue, ÚwÚ wowthy Banquo! >w< He >_> is full UwU so valiant, 
xDD And uWu in :33 his commendations UwU I ^w^ am :3 fed; 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a :33 banquet to x3 me. :3 Wet's ÚwÚ aftew :3 him, 
>_< Whose :3 cawe >_> is >_> gonye >w< befowe to bid >_> us x3 wewcome. 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a x3 peewwess kinsman. >w< Fwouwish. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE V. 
>_< Invewnyess. >_> Macbeth's >w< castwe. 

Entew xDD Wady :3 Macbeth, weading :3 a >_> wettew. 

:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. :3 "They >w< met ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the day of uWu success, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have 
:33 weawnyed ^.^ by x3 the :33 pewfectest wepowt ;;w;; they uWu have ^.^ mowe uWu in them than 
>w< mowtaw knowledge. x3 When UwU I burned uWu in ^.^ desiwe to ;;w;; question them 
further, ;;w;; they UwU made x3 themsewves air, x3 into which ;;w;; they OwO vanyished. 
Whiwes UwU I :33 stood wapt uWu in x3 the wonder of :33 it, ^-^ came uWu missives from x3 the 
OwO King, who all-hailed ;;w;; me 'Thanye of ^-^ Cawdow'; ^.^ by which :3 titwe, 
x3 befowe, these uWu weiwd ÚwÚ sistews OwO sawuted ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wefewwed ;;w;; me to x3 the 
xDD coming on of time with 'Hail, ^w^ King :3 that shalt UwU be!' This uWu have UwU I 
xDD thought ÚwÚ good to ÚwÚ dewivew ÚwÚ thee, x3 my deawest ;;w;; pawtnyew of greatness, 
:3 that xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst nyot wose x3 the dues of :3 wejoicing, ^.^ by ^.^ being 
ÚwÚ ignyowant of >_> what :33 gweatnyess >_> is promised thee. Way >w< it to >w< thy uWu heawt, 
ÚwÚ and xDD faweweww." 

^w^ Gwamis xDD thou awt, ÚwÚ and Cawdow, ÚwÚ and shalt be 
>_> What xDD thou awt :3 pwomised. ÚwÚ Yet UwU do UwU I feaw >w< thy :33 nyatuwe. 
^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too full ^.^ o' x3 the milk of human OwO kindnyess 
;;w;; To catch x3 the ÚwÚ nyeawest >_> way. ^.^ Thou wouldst be gweat; 
Awt nyot ^-^ without ambition, >_> but ^-^ without 
uWu The illness >_> shouwd >_< attend :3 it. >_> What xDD thou wouldst :3 highwy, 
:33 That wouldst xDD thou x3 howiwy; wouldst nyot :33 pway :3 fawse, 
xDD And yet wouldst wwongwy :33 win. Thou'wdst have, great Gwamis, 
:33 That which cries, x3 "Thus xDD thou ^w^ must UwU do, >_> if xDD thou uWu have uWu it; 
xDD And :3 that which rather xDD thou dost feaw to UwU do 
Than :33 wishest >_> shouwd be undone." Hie uWu thee hithew, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may pouw x3 my ;;w;; spiwits uWu in ^.^ thinye eaw, 
xDD And chastise with x3 the xDD vawow of x3 my >_> tongue 
All :3 that ^-^ impedes uWu thee from x3 the golden ^-^ wound, 
>_< Which fate ÚwÚ and metaphysical >_> aid xDD doth xDD seem 
;;w;; To uWu have uWu thee cwown'd uWu withaw. 

Entew :3 a Messengew. 

>_> What >_> is x3 youw x3 tidings? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The ^w^ King x3 comes OwO hewe tonight. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. ^w^ Thou'wt ^-^ mad to >_> say :3 it! 
Is nyot >w< thy >_< mastew with him? who, were't >_> so, 
Wouwd uWu have inform'd fow >_> pwepawation. 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, >w< it >_> is true; UwU ouw Thane >_> is :3 coming. 
x3 Onye of x3 my ^w^ fewwows xDD had x3 the ^w^ speed of :3 him, 
UwU Who, almost >_< dead fow :33 bweath, xDD had uWu scawcewy ^.^ mowe 
Than ^.^ wouwd >_< make x3 up :33 his uWu message. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Give ^.^ him >_< tending; 
>w< He >_< bwings great ;;w;; nyews. uWu Exit Messengew. 
uWu The >_> waven >_< himsewf >_> is :33 hoawse 
:33 That OwO cwoaks x3 the uWu fataw entrance of >_> Duncan 
;;w;; Undew x3 my battlements. ^.^ Come, xDD you ;;w;; spiwits 
:33 That tend on >w< mowtaw thoughts, unsex ;;w;; me OwO hewe 
xDD And ^w^ fiww ;;w;; me from x3 the >_< cwown to x3 the toe >w< top-fuww 
Of direst :3 cwuewty! ^-^ Make thick x3 my bwood, 
uWu Stop x3 up x3 the x3 access ÚwÚ and uWu passage to wemowse, 
:33 That nyo OwO compunctious UwU visitings of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
:33 Shake x3 my UwU feww OwO puwpose nor >_< keep uWu peace ^-^ between 
uWu The ^w^ effect ÚwÚ and :3 it! :3 Come to x3 my xDD woman's breasts, 
xDD And OwO take x3 my milk fow x3 gaww, x3 youw murthering ^-^ minyistews, 
>_< Whewevew uWu in x3 youw sightless ^-^ substances 
>_> You wait on ;;w;; nyatuwe's mischief! ^.^ Come, thick night, 
xDD And xDD paww uWu thee uWu in x3 the ^-^ dunnyest >_< smoke of heww 
:33 That x3 my >_> keen knyife >_> see nyot x3 the ;;w;; wound >w< it x3 makes 
x3 Nyow heaven xDD peep ^w^ thwough x3 the :33 bwanket of x3 the dark 
;;w;; To ^-^ cwy, >_< "Howd, hold!" 

Entew OwO Macbeth. 

UwU Gweat >_< Gwamis! Wowthy ^.^ Cawdow! 
:3 Gweatew than xDD both, ^.^ by x3 the uWu aww-haiw hereafter! 
x3 Thy x3 wettews uWu have twanspowted ;;w;; me ^w^ beyond 
This ÚwÚ ignyowant ÚwÚ pwesent, ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 feew nyow 
uWu The ÚwÚ futuwe uWu in x3 the ^.^ instant. 
OwO MACBETH. OwO My deawest xDD wuv, 
>_> Duncan x3 comes OwO hewe tonight. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. xDD And when xDD goes >_< hence? 
OwO MACBETH. Tomowwow, >_< as ^.^ he purposes. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. >_< O, >_< nyevew 
Shall sun :3 that mowwow uWu see! 
uWu Youw >w< face, x3 my Thanye, >_> is >_< as :3 a ^w^ book :3 whewe ;;w;; men 
^-^ May ^w^ wead ;;w;; stwange matters. ;;w;; To beguile x3 the time, 
Wook ^.^ wike x3 the time; UwU beaw wewcome uWu in x3 youw >_< eye, 
uWu Youw uWu hand, x3 youw tongue; wook ^.^ wike x3 the innocent x3 fwowew, 
OwO But be x3 the serpent :33 undew :3 it. >w< He ^w^ that's xDD coming 
:3 Must be x3 pwovided ^w^ fow; ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww put 
This night's great business x3 into x3 my >_> dispatch, 
>_< Which UwU shaww to aww UwU ouw :33 nyights ÚwÚ and OwO days to come 
Give solely suvweign xDD sway ÚwÚ and mastewdom. 
OwO MACBETH. We xDD wiww speak fuwthew. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Onwy wook x3 up clear; 
;;w;; To x3 awtew x3 favow OwO evew >_> is to ;;w;; feaw. 
Weave aww x3 the xDD west to x3 me. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
^.^ Befowe >_> Macbeth's >w< castwe. Hautboys ÚwÚ and xDD towches. 

Entew xDD Duncan, ^.^ Mawcowm, Donyawbain, Banquo, Lennox, ^w^ Macduff, Ross, >_> Angus, 
ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

DUNCAN. This ^w^ castwe hath :3 a >_> pweasant uWu seat; x3 the ^w^ aiw 
OwO Nyimbwy ÚwÚ and sweetly recommends itsewf 
uWu Unto UwU ouw ^-^ gentwe senses. 
;;w;; BANQUO. This uWu guest of summer, 
uWu The OwO tempwe-haunting xDD mawtwet, does approve 
^-^ By :33 his xDD wuvd ÚwÚ mansionwy :3 that x3 the heaven's UwU bweath 
>w< Smewws wooingly hewe. No ^.^ jutty, uWu fwieze, 
Buttwess, nor xDD coign of vantage, >_> but ÚwÚ this biwd 
>_< Hath UwU made :33 his ;;w;; pendant x3 bed ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwocweant cwadwe; 
Whewe ;;w;; they UwU most breed ÚwÚ and :3 haunt, UwU I uWu have ^-^ obsewved 
uWu The ^w^ aiw >_> is dewicate. 

Entew xDD Wady OwO Macbeth. 

DUNCAN. :3 See, see, UwU ouw UwU honyow'd ;;w;; hostess! 
uWu The wuv :3 that xDD fowwows >_> us ÚwÚ sometime >_> is UwU ouw twoubwe, 
>_< Which still ^.^ we >_> thank >_< as love. x3 Hewein UwU I >_< teach xDD you 
How xDD you UwU shaww bid ^w^ God ;;w;; 'iewd >_> us fow x3 youw pains, 
xDD And >_> thank >_> us fow x3 youw trouble. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. All UwU ouw OwO sewvice 
^w^ In every :33 point twice :33 donye, ÚwÚ and xDD then donye double, 
^.^ Wewe poor ÚwÚ and :3 singwe business to xDD contend 
^w^ Against UwU those honyows >_> deep ÚwÚ and >_< bwoad xDD whewewith 
uWu Youw ;;w;; Majesty loads UwU ouw ÚwÚ house. For UwU those of :3 owd, 
xDD And x3 the wate >_> dignyities ^w^ heap'd x3 up to ÚwÚ them, 
We xDD west x3 youw ;;w;; hewmits. 
DUNCAN. :3 Whewe's x3 the Thane of Cawdor? 
We coursed ^.^ him uWu at x3 the heels ÚwÚ and xDD had :3 a OwO puwpose 
;;w;; To be :33 his puwveyow; >_> but ^.^ he :33 wides weww, 
xDD And :33 his great xDD wuv, ^-^ shawp >_< as :33 his ÚwÚ spuw, hath holp ^.^ him 
;;w;; To :33 his ^.^ home >w< befowe >_> us. Faiw ÚwÚ and x3 nyobwe ^-^ hostess, 
We OwO awe x3 youw uWu guest tonight. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. uWu Youw :3 sewvants OwO evew 
:3 Have theiws, ^.^ themsewves, ÚwÚ and >_> what >_> is theiws, uWu in OwO compt, 
;;w;; To >_< make uWu theiw ^-^ audit uWu at x3 youw Highness' x3 pweasuwe, 
UwU Stiww to ^-^ wetuwn x3 youw own. 
DUNCAN. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw xDD hand; 
;;w;; Conduct ;;w;; me to >_< minye >_< host. We wuv ^.^ him :3 highwy, 
xDD And UwU shaww >w< continyue UwU ouw uWu gwaces uWu towawds ^.^ him. 
^-^ By x3 youw weave, hostess. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE OwO VII 
>_> Macbeth's >w< castwe. Hautboys ÚwÚ and xDD towches. 

Entew :3 a uWu Sewew ÚwÚ and divers Servants with ^-^ dishes ÚwÚ and sewvice, who pass uvw 
x3 the stage. UwU Then enter OwO Macbeth. 

OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; If >w< it :3 wewe donye when UwU 'tis :33 donye, xDD then >w< 'twewe weww 
^.^ It :3 wewe donye >w< quickwy. ;;w;; If x3 the ^w^ assassinyation 
Could xDD twammew x3 up x3 the uWu consequence, ÚwÚ and UwU catch, 
With :33 his suwcease, success; :3 that >_> but ÚwÚ this ^w^ bwow 
^.^ Might be x3 the be-all ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 end-aww -here, 
OwO But UwU hewe, ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this ^.^ bank ÚwÚ and shoal of time, 
^.^ We'wd x3 jump x3 the >w< wife to x3 come. OwO But uWu in these xDD cases 
We still uWu have ^w^ judgement UwU hewe, :3 that ^.^ we >_> but >_< teach 
:3 Bwoody :33 instwuctions, which ^.^ being ÚwÚ taught ^-^ wetuwn 
;;w;; To pwague x3 the >_< inventow. This >_> even-handed justice 
^-^ Commends x3 the :3 ingwedients of UwU ouw OwO poison'd uWu chawice 
;;w;; To UwU ouw UwU own x3 wips. He's OwO hewe uWu in :3 doubwe uWu twust: 
^.^ Fiwst, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :33 his kinsman ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu subject, 
:3 Stwong both OwO against x3 the ^.^ deed; >w< then, >_< as :33 his >_< host, 
Who >_> shouwd OwO against :33 his murtherer shut x3 the door, 
ÚwÚ Nyot UwU beaw x3 the knyife :3 mysewf. :33 Besides, ÚwÚ this >_> Duncan 
>_< Hath :3 bownye :33 his faculties UwU so :3 meek, hath :33 been 
^w^ So ^-^ cweaw uWu in :33 his great office, :3 that :33 his uWu viwtues 
Will pwead ^.^ wike ^-^ angews >_< twumpet-tongued OwO against 
uWu The >_> deep uWu damnyation of :33 his >w< taking-off, 
xDD And pity, ^.^ wike :3 a nyaked nyew-bown >w< babe 
Striding x3 the x3 bwast, ow heaven's >_< chewubin howsed 
>_> Upon x3 the sightless >_< couwiews of x3 the air, 
Shall ^w^ bwow x3 the >_> howwid ^.^ deed uWu in every >_< eye, 
:33 That tears UwU shaww x3 dwown x3 the ^.^ wind. UwU I uWu have nyo ^w^ spuw 
;;w;; To uWu pwick x3 the >w< sides of x3 my intent, >_> but >w< onwy 
UwU Vauwting ambition, which UwU o'ewweaps itsewf 
xDD And ^w^ fawws on x3 the :3 othew. 

Entew xDD Wady OwO Macbeth. 

How now, >_> what nyews? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. >w< He >_> has almost >_> supp'd. Why uWu have xDD you left x3 the :33 chambew? 
OwO MACBETH. >_< Hath ^.^ he >w< ask'd fow me? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. xDD Knyow xDD you nyot ^.^ he uWu has? 
OwO MACBETH. We xDD wiww proceed nyo further uWu in ÚwÚ this business: 
>w< He hath UwU honyow'd ;;w;; me of late, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have xDD bought 
Gowden OwO opinyions from aww sorts of >_> peopwe, 
>_< Which ^.^ wouwd be wown nyow uWu in uWu theiw newest >w< gwoss, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ;;w;; cast :3 aside UwU so :33 soon. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Was x3 the UwU hope UwU dwunk 
^-^ Whewein xDD you dwess'd >w< youwsewf? >_< Hath >w< it slept :33 since? 
xDD And ;;w;; wakes >w< it now, to wook UwU so green ÚwÚ and pawe 
At >_> what >w< it uWu did UwU so ^w^ fweewy? Fwom ÚwÚ this time 
>w< Such UwU I :33 account >w< thy love. Awt xDD thou >_< afeawd 
;;w;; To be x3 the same uWu in ^.^ thinye UwU own ;;w;; act ÚwÚ and xDD vawow 
;;w;; As xDD thou awt uWu in desiwe? Wouldst xDD thou uWu have :3 that 
>_< Which xDD thou ^-^ esteem'st x3 the ^w^ ownyament of >w< wife 
xDD And ^w^ wive :3 a x3 cowawd uWu in ^.^ thinye UwU own esteem, 
OwO Wetting :3 "I dawe nyot" wait ;;w;; upon :3 "I ^.^ wouwd" 
Wike x3 the poor :33 cat :33 i' x3 the ^.^ adage? 
OwO MACBETH. Prithee, peace! 
UwU I dawe UwU do aww :3 that OwO may :33 become :3 a xDD man; 
Who x3 dawes UwU do ^.^ mowe >_> is none. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. >_> What beast >w< wast xDD then 
:33 That UwU made xDD you bweak ÚwÚ this uWu entewpwise to me? 
x3 When xDD you x3 duwst UwU do :33 it, xDD then xDD you :3 wewe :3 a ^w^ man, 
^.^ And, to be ^.^ mowe than >_> what xDD you uWu wewe, xDD you ^.^ wouwd 
^w^ Be UwU so much ^.^ mowe x3 the man. x3 Nyow time nor :33 pwace 
Did xDD then ;;w;; adhewe, ÚwÚ and yet xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_< make xDD both. 
^-^ They uWu have UwU made ^.^ themsewves, ÚwÚ and :3 that uWu theiw ^.^ fitnyess nyow 
ÚwÚ Does unmake OwO you. UwU I uWu have UwU given uWu suck ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow 
How xDD tendew UwU 'tis to wuv x3 the >w< babe :3 that ^w^ miwks me- 
UwU I :3 wouwd, OwO whiwe >w< it UwU was x3 smiwing uWu in x3 my >w< face, 
:3 Have ^w^ pwuck'd x3 my nipple from :33 his boneless gums 
xDD And dash'd x3 the brains x3 out xDD had UwU I UwU so sworn >_< as xDD you 
:3 Have donye to UwU this. 
OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; If ^.^ we >_> shouwd fail? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. We fail? 
OwO But xDD scwew x3 youw couwage to x3 the >_< sticking-pwace 
xDD And we'll nyot >_< faiw. x3 When >_> Duncan >_> is >_> asweep- 
:33 Wheweto x3 the rather UwU shaww :33 his day's x3 hawd ^w^ jouwnyey 
uWu Soundwy invite uWu him- :33 his >w< two chambewwains 
Will UwU I with winye ÚwÚ and OwO wassaiw UwU so convince 
:33 That xDD memowy, x3 the :3 wawdew of x3 the :3 bwain, 
Shall be :3 a ^.^ fume ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 weceipt of reason 
^-^ A wimbeck onwy. x3 When uWu in swinish :33 sweep 
^-^ Theiw drenched natures >_< wie >_< as uWu in :3 a UwU death, 
>_> What ;;w;; cannyot xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 pewfowm ;;w;; upon 
uWu The ^-^ unguawded Duncan? >_> What nyot put ;;w;; upon 
ÚwÚ His >_< spongy OwO officews, who UwU shaww UwU beaw x3 the guilt 
Of UwU ouw great ÚwÚ queww? 
OwO MACBETH. Bring fowth men-children >_> onwy, 
For >w< thy >_> undaunted mettle >_> shouwd :33 compose 
Nyothing >_> but mawes. Will >w< it nyot be UwU weceived, 
x3 When ^.^ we uWu have uWu mawk'd with :3 bwood UwU those UwU sweepy >w< two 
Of :33 his UwU own x3 chambew ÚwÚ and used uWu theiw xDD vewy daggews, 
:33 That ;;w;; they uWu have donye't? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Who x3 dawes receive >w< it ÚwÚ othew, 
;;w;; As ^.^ we UwU shaww >_< make UwU ouw griefs ÚwÚ and clamor roar 
>_> Upon :33 his UwU death? 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ settwed ÚwÚ and >w< bend x3 up 
x3 Each corporal agent to ÚwÚ this tewwibwe >_< feat. 
:33 Away, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ mock x3 the time with >_> faiwest x3 show: 
ÚwÚ Fawse OwO face ^w^ must hide >_> what x3 the UwU fawse >_< heawt xDD doth :33 knyow. 
:33 Exeunt. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_< Invewnyess. UwU Couwt of >_> Macbeth's >w< castwe. 

Entew Banquo ÚwÚ and xDD Fweance, :33 beawing :3 a :33 towch >w< befowe ^.^ him. 

;;w;; BANQUO. How xDD goes x3 the night, boy? 
FLEANCE. uWu The ;;w;; moon >_> is down; UwU I uWu have nyot heard x3 the ^.^ cwock. 
;;w;; BANQUO. xDD And ^.^ she xDD goes down uWu at twelve. 
FLEANCE. UwU I x3 take't UwU 'tis >_< watew, sir. 
;;w;; BANQUO. UwU Howd, OwO take x3 my ^-^ swowd. >_> Thewe's x3 husbandwy uWu in ^.^ heaven, 
^-^ Theiw >_< candwes OwO awe aww OwO out. ^.^ Take uWu thee :3 that UwU too. 
^-^ A x3 heavy >_> summons wies ^.^ wike lead ;;w;; upon uWu me, 
xDD And yet UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO sweep. Mewcifuw x3 powews, 
>w< Westwain uWu in ;;w;; me x3 the uWu cuwsed >_< thoughts :3 that ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
>w< Gives uWu way to uWu in repose! 

Entew ^.^ Macbeth ÚwÚ and :3 a Sewvant with :3 a torch. 

Give ;;w;; me x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
Who's OwO thewe? 
OwO MACBETH. ^-^ A :3 fwiend. 
;;w;; BANQUO. What, ^w^ siw, nyot yet uWu at >w< west? uWu The >_< King's >_> abed. 
>w< He hath :33 been uWu in >_< unyusuaw :3 pweasuwe ÚwÚ and 
:3 Sent fowth great largess to x3 youw x3 offices. 
This >_> diamond ^.^ he greets x3 youw >w< wife withaw, 
^-^ By x3 the xDD nyame of UwU most uWu kind ^-^ hostess, ÚwÚ and shut x3 up 
^w^ In measuwewess OwO content. 
OwO MACBETH. uWu Being unprepared, 
Our xDD wiww ÚwÚ became x3 the xDD sewvant to uWu defect, 
>_< Which >_> ewse >_> shouwd fwee uWu have wrought. 
;;w;; BANQUO. ^-^ Aww's well. 
UwU I dweamt >w< wast >w< nyight of x3 the >w< thwee uWu weiwd sistews: 
;;w;; To xDD you ;;w;; they uWu have ^w^ show'd x3 some truth. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I think nyot of OwO them; 
Yet, when ^.^ we ^.^ can entweat >w< an >_> houw to OwO sewve, 
We ^.^ wouwd spend >w< it uWu in x3 some wowds ;;w;; upon :3 that business, 
;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ wouwd gwant x3 the uWu time. 
;;w;; BANQUO. At x3 youw uWu kind'st xDD weisuwe. 
OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU shaww ÚwÚ cweave to x3 my ^.^ consent, when x3 'tis, 
^.^ It UwU shaww >_< make honyow fow OwO you. 
;;w;; BANQUO. ^w^ So UwU I wose >_< nyonye 
^w^ In UwU seeking to >_> augment :33 it, >_> but still >_< keep 
OwO My ^w^ bosom :33 fwanchised ÚwÚ and OwO awwegiance cweaw, 
UwU I UwU shaww be counsel'd. 
OwO MACBETH. ^-^ Good wepose x3 the >_> whiwe. 
;;w;; BANQUO. >_< Thanks, ^w^ siw, x3 the ^.^ wike to OwO you. 
Exeunt xDD Banquo. ÚwÚ and Fleance. 
OwO MACBETH. Go bid >w< thy ^-^ mistwess, when x3 my ÚwÚ dwink >_> is :3 weady, 
:33 She strike ;;w;; upon x3 the bell. >_< Get uWu thee to :3 bed. uWu Exit ^.^ Sewvant. 
Is ÚwÚ this :3 a ÚwÚ daggew which UwU I >_> see >w< befowe uWu me, 
uWu The handle toward x3 my hand? ^.^ Come, wet ;;w;; me clutch thee. 
UwU I uWu have uWu thee >_> nyot, ÚwÚ and yet UwU I >_> see uWu thee xDD stiww. 
Awt xDD thou >_> nyot, uWu fataw xDD vision, ^-^ sensibwe 
;;w;; To :33 feewing >_< as to sight? :33 Ow awt xDD thou >_> but 
^-^ A ÚwÚ daggew of x3 the UwU mind, :3 a UwU fawse cweation, 
OwO Pwoceeding from x3 the heat-oppressed bwain? 
UwU I >_> see uWu thee ^w^ yet, uWu in >_< fowm >_< as >_< pawpabwe 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this which nyow UwU I OwO dwaw. 
^.^ Thou marshal'st ;;w;; me x3 the uWu way :3 that UwU I UwU was ^-^ going, 
xDD And xDD such >w< an UwU instwument UwU I UwU was to ÚwÚ use. 
Mine eyes OwO awe UwU made x3 the foows ^.^ o' x3 the othew ^-^ senses, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ^.^ wowth aww x3 the rest. UwU I >_> see uWu thee still, 
xDD And on >w< thy ^.^ bwade ÚwÚ and ^.^ dudgeon >w< gouts of bwood, 
>_< Which UwU was nyot UwU so befowe. >_> Thewe's nyo xDD such thing: 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the bwoody business which informs 
^-^ Thus to >_< minye :3 eyes. Now ^-^ o'ew x3 the one ^w^ hawf-wowwd 
ÚwÚ Nyatuwe ;;w;; seems >_< dead, ÚwÚ and wicked x3 dweams abuse 
uWu The >_> cuwtain'd ^w^ sweep; uWu witchcwaft uWu cewebwates 
Pawe uWu Hecate's offewings; ÚwÚ and :33 withew'd Murther, 
UwU Awawum'd ^.^ by :33 his ;;w;; sentinyew, x3 the OwO wowf, 
>_< Whose >_> howw's :33 his >w< watch, OwO thus with :33 his stealthy pace, 
With x3 Tawquin's ravishing stwides, uWu towawds :33 his :3 design 
Muvs ^.^ wike :3 a ghost. ^.^ Thou >_< suwe ÚwÚ and ^w^ fiwm-set earth, 
>w< Heaw nyot x3 my steps, which uWu way ;;w;; they walk, fow feaw 
x3 Thy xDD vewy ^.^ stonyes prate of x3 my wheweabout, 
xDD And OwO take x3 the xDD pwesent OwO howwow from x3 the time, 
>_< Which nyow ^w^ suits with :3 it. Whiwes UwU I thweat, ^.^ he wives; 
Words to x3 the ^.^ heat of >_< deeds ^w^ too UwU cowd UwU bweath ;;w;; gives. 
^-^ A beww rings. 
UwU I x3 go, ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is donye; x3 the beww OwO invites x3 me. 
>w< Heaw >w< it >_> nyot, xDD Duncan, fow >w< it >_> is :3 a knell 
:33 That >_> summons uWu thee to ^.^ heaven, ow to uWu heww. ÚwÚ Exit. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The :33 same. 

Entew xDD Wady OwO Macbeth. 

:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. :33 That which hath UwU made them UwU dwunk hath UwU made ;;w;; me ^.^ bowd; 
>_> What hath :3 quench'd them hath UwU given ;;w;; me >_> fiwe. :33 Hawk! ;;w;; Peace! 
^.^ It UwU was x3 the owl :3 that shriek'd, x3 the uWu fataw ^-^ bewwman, 
>_< Which ;;w;; gives x3 the >w< stewn'st ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. >w< He >_> is about >w< it: 
uWu The x3 doows OwO awe open, ÚwÚ and x3 the surfeited grooms 
Do ÚwÚ mock uWu theiw :3 chawge with snores. UwU I uWu have dwugg'd uWu theiw >w< possets 
:33 That :33 death ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ nyatuwe UwU do xDD contend about ÚwÚ them, 
Whethew ;;w;; they ^w^ wive ow die. 
OwO MACBETH. ^.^ [Within.] Who's :3 thewe' x3 what, ho! 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. xDD Awack, UwU I ^w^ am :33 afwaid ;;w;; they uWu have ÚwÚ awaked 
xDD And UwU 'tis nyot ^-^ donye. uWu The x3 attempt ÚwÚ and nyot x3 the ^.^ deed 
uWu Confounds >_> us. :33 Hawk! UwU I laid uWu theiw ÚwÚ daggews weady; 
>w< He couwd nyot ;;w;; miss ^.^ 'em. xDD Had ^.^ he nyot wesembwed 
OwO My >w< fathew >_< as ^.^ he swept, UwU I xDD had >_< donye't. 

Entew :3 Macbeth, 

OwO My ÚwÚ husband! 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I uWu have donye x3 the UwU deed. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot hear :3 a ^w^ nyoise? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. UwU I heard x3 the owl :33 scweam ÚwÚ and x3 the cwickets ^-^ cwy. 
Did nyot xDD you x3 speak? 
OwO MACBETH. ^-^ When? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. xDD Nyow. 
OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; As UwU I ;;w;; descended? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. uWu Ay. 
OwO MACBETH. :33 Hawk! 
Who wies :33 i' x3 the second :33 chambew? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. ÚwÚ Donyawbain. 
OwO MACBETH. This >_> is :3 a sowwy :33 sight. >w< [Wooks on :33 his ^w^ hands. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. ^-^ A >_< foowish ^-^ thought, to >_> say :3 a sowwy :33 sight. 
OwO MACBETH. >_> Thewe's one uWu did laugh uWu in ^-^ 's sweep, ÚwÚ and one cwied, 
"Murther!" 
:33 That ;;w;; they uWu did wake >_< each :3 othew. UwU I :33 stood ÚwÚ and heard ÚwÚ them, 
OwO But ;;w;; they uWu did >_> say uWu theiw >_< pwayews ÚwÚ and address'd them 
^.^ Again to OwO sweep. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. >_> Thewe OwO awe >w< two wodged together. 
OwO MACBETH. x3 Onye cwied, UwU "God ;;w;; bwess OwO us!" ÚwÚ and uWu "Amen" x3 the ÚwÚ othew, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they xDD had :3 seen ;;w;; me with these hangman's ^w^ hands. 
Listening uWu theiw ;;w;; feaw, UwU I couwd nyot >_> say :33 "Amen," 
x3 When ;;w;; they uWu did say, UwU "God ;;w;; bwess OwO us!" 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Consider >w< it nyot UwU so deepwy. 
OwO MACBETH. OwO But ^-^ whewefowe couwd nyot UwU I pwonyounce x3 "Amen"? 
UwU I xDD had UwU most >_< nyeed of blessing, ÚwÚ and uWu "Amen" 
^.^ Stuck uWu in x3 my uWu thwoat. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; These >_< deeds ^w^ must nyot be xDD thought 
>w< Aftew these x3 ways; >_> so, >w< it xDD wiww >_< make >_> us >_> mad. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I heard :3 a uWu voice ^-^ cwy, "Sleep nyo uWu mowe! 
^.^ Macbeth does muwthew ^w^ sweep" ^.^ -the innocent sweep, 
OwO Sweep :3 that xDD knyits x3 up x3 the ^w^ wavew'd sweave of care, 
uWu The :33 death of >_< each day's :3 wife, ^w^ sowe ^.^ wabow's :33 bath, 
^.^ Bawm of ÚwÚ huwt x3 minds, great ;;w;; nyatuwe's second course, 
:33 Chief nyouwishew uWu in ^w^ wife's feast- 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. >_> What UwU do xDD you ^.^ mean? 
OwO MACBETH. UwU Stiww >w< it cwied, "Sleep nyo x3 mowe!" to aww x3 the ^.^ house; 
^-^ "Gwamis hath murther'd sweep, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe OwO Cawdow 
Shall :33 sweep nyo more. ^.^ Macbeth UwU shaww :33 sweep nyo ^.^ mowe." 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Who UwU was >w< it :3 that OwO thus >_> cwied? Why, ÚwÚ wowthy Thanye, 
>_> You UwU do unbend x3 youw x3 nyobwe >_< stwength, to think 
^w^ So brainsickly of xDD things. ^w^ Go, get x3 some UwU watew 
xDD And >_< wash ÚwÚ this :33 fiwthy >_> witnyess from x3 youw >w< hand. 
Why uWu did xDD you ;;w;; bwing these ÚwÚ daggews from x3 the :3 pwace? 
^-^ They ^w^ must >_< wie :33 thewe. Go carry ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and smeaw 
uWu The UwU sweepy grooms with blood. 
OwO MACBETH. I'll OwO go nyo more. 
UwU I ^w^ am :33 afwaid to think >_> what UwU I uWu have donye; 
Wook ^.^ on't again UwU I dawe not. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Infiwm of puwpose! 
Give ;;w;; me x3 the :33 daggews. uWu The x3 sweeping ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< dead 
^w^ Awe >_> but >_< as pictures; UwU 'tis x3 the ^w^ eye of childhood 
:33 That OwO feaws :3 a painted deviw. ;;w;; If ^.^ he UwU do bleed, 
I'll gild x3 the faces of x3 the grooms withaw, 
For >w< it ^w^ must xDD seem uWu theiw ÚwÚ guiwt. ÚwÚ Exit. Knocking x3 within. 
OwO MACBETH. OwO Whence >_> is :3 that ;;w;; knyocking? 
How :3 is't with uWu me, when every noise ^-^ appaws me? 
>_> What ^.^ hands OwO awe hewe? >w< Ha, ;;w;; they pluck x3 out >_< minye xDD eyes! 
Will aww great >_< Nyeptunye's xDD ocean >_< wash ÚwÚ this :3 bwood 
Cwean from x3 my hand? :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ this x3 my uWu hand xDD wiww rather 
uWu The x3 muwtitudinyous seas incarnadine, 
^.^ Making x3 the green one red. 

^.^ We-entew xDD Wady OwO Macbeth. 

:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. OwO My ^.^ hands OwO awe of x3 youw cowow, >_> but UwU I ^-^ shame 
;;w;; To ^-^ weaw :3 a >_< heawt UwU so :3 white. xDD [Knyocking :33 within.] UwU I hear knocking 
At x3 the south entry. Retire ^.^ we to UwU ouw ^.^ chambew. 
^-^ A xDD wittwe UwU watew clears >_> us of ÚwÚ this UwU deed. 
How ^w^ easy >_> is >w< it >w< then! uWu Youw >_> constancy 
>_< Hath left xDD you unyattended. xDD [Knyocking :33 within.] Hawk, ^.^ mowe OwO knyocking. 
>_< Get on x3 youw nightgown, xDD west ;;w;; occasion caww >_> us 
xDD And x3 show >_> us to be watchews. ^w^ Be nyot wost 
^w^ So poorly uWu in x3 youw >w< thoughts. 
OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 my OwO deed, >w< 'twewe best nyot ^.^ knyow :3 mysewf. 
Knocking x3 within. 
ÚwÚ Wake >_> Duncan with >w< thy xDD knyocking! UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou uWu couwdst! 
:33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The :33 same. 

Entew :3 a Porter. Knocking x3 within. 

PORTER. >_> Hewe's :3 a knocking ^w^ indeed! ;;w;; If :3 a x3 man :3 wewe powtew of Heww 
ÚwÚ Gate, ^.^ he >_> shouwd uWu have ;;w;; owd ;;w;; tuwnying x3 the x3 key. xDD [Knyocking :33 within.] 
Knyock, knyock, knock! Who's thewe, :33 i' x3 the xDD nyame of ÚwÚ Bewzebub? >_> Hewe's 
:3 a OwO fawmew :3 that hanged >_< himsewf on x3 th' expectation of pwenty. :3 Come 
uWu in xDD time! :3 Have napkins ^w^ enyow about uWu you; OwO hewe you'ww UwU sweat xDD fowt. 
xDD [Knyocking :33 within.] Knyock, knock! Who's thewe, uWu in x3 th' othew 
>_> deviw's :3 nyame? Faith, hewe's >w< an equivocatow :3 that couwd >_< sweaw uWu in 
both x3 the scawes OwO against xDD eithew ^w^ scawe, who >_> committed UwU tweason 
enough fow >_> God's ^w^ sake, yet couwd nyot x3 equivocate to UwU heaven. >_< O, 
come x3 in, equivocator. xDD [Knyocking :33 within.] Knyock, knyock, knock! 
Who's OwO thewe? Faith, hewe's >w< an :3 Engwish ^w^ taiwow come hithew, fow 
stealing x3 out of :3 a OwO Fwench x3 hose. :3 Come x3 in, tailor; OwO hewe xDD you OwO may 
:3 woast x3 youw >_< goose. xDD [Knyocking :33 within.] Knyock, knock! xDD Nyevew uWu at 
>w< quiet! >_> What OwO awe you? OwO But ÚwÚ this :33 pwace >_> is ^w^ too UwU cowd fow uWu heww. I'll 
>_< deviw-powtew >w< it nyo fuwthew. UwU I xDD had xDD thought to uWu have wet uWu in x3 some of 
aww xDD pwofessions, :3 that OwO go x3 the pwimwose uWu way to x3 the everlasting 
bonfire. xDD [Knyocking :33 within.] ;;w;; Anyon, :33 anyon! UwU I pray UwU you, remember x3 the 
;;w;; powtew. 
:33 Opens x3 the uWu gate. 

Entew >_< Macduff ÚwÚ and Wennyox. 

:3 MACDUFF. Was >w< it UwU so late, fwiend, ere xDD you OwO went to ^.^ bed, 
:33 That xDD you UwU do >_< wie UwU so uWu wate? 
PORTER. Faith, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we :3 wewe ^w^ cawousing >w< tiww x3 the second UwU cock; ÚwÚ and 
dwink, ^w^ siw, >_> is :3 a great x3 pwovokew of >w< thwee xDD things. 
:3 MACDUFF. >_> What >w< thwee ^.^ things does ÚwÚ dwink especially ^.^ pwovoke? 
PORTER. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, nyose-painting, sweep, ÚwÚ and urine. Wechewy, ^w^ siw, 
>w< it >_> pwovokes ÚwÚ and uWu unpwovokes: >w< it >_> pwovokes x3 the >_> desiwe, >_> but >w< it UwU takes 
OwO away x3 the performance. Therefore much ÚwÚ dwink OwO may be uWu said to be >w< an 
equivocatow with lechery: >w< it x3 makes :3 him, ÚwÚ and >w< it ;;w;; maws him; >w< it :33 sets 
^.^ him ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and >w< it UwU takes ^.^ him :33 off; >w< it pewsuades ^.^ him ÚwÚ and >w< disheawtens 
him; x3 makes ^.^ him stand to ÚwÚ and nyot stand >w< to; uWu in conclusion, 
equivocates ^.^ him uWu in :3 a sweep, ÚwÚ and ^.^ giving ^.^ him x3 the wie, >w< weaves ^.^ him. 
:3 MACDUFF. UwU I ^-^ bewieve ÚwÚ dwink uWu gave uWu thee x3 the >_< wie >w< wast OwO nyight. 
PORTER. :33 That >w< it ^-^ did, ^w^ siw, :33 i' x3 the xDD vewy ^w^ thwoat on OwO me; >_> but uWu wequited 
^.^ him fow :33 his wie, x3 and, UwU I >_< think, ^.^ being ^w^ too >w< stwong fow :3 him, ^w^ though 
^.^ he >_> took x3 up x3 my UwU wegs xDD sometime, yet UwU I UwU made OwO shift to ;;w;; cast ^.^ him. 
:3 MACDUFF. Is >w< thy >_< mastew stirring? 

Entew OwO Macbeth. 

Our knocking >_> has ÚwÚ awaked him; OwO hewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 
WENNyOX. ^-^ Good morrow, x3 nyobwe sir. 
OwO MACBETH. morrow, xDD both. 
:3 MACDUFF. Is x3 the ^w^ King stirring, ÚwÚ wowthy x3 Thanye? 
OwO MACBETH. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> yet. 
:3 MACDUFF. >w< He uWu did ÚwÚ command ;;w;; me to caww timely on him; 
UwU I uWu have almost slipp'd x3 the hour. 
OwO MACBETH. I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you to ^.^ him. 
:3 MACDUFF. UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a >w< joyfuw >_> twoubwe to UwU you, 
OwO But yet UwU 'tis onye. 
OwO MACBETH. uWu The xDD wabow ^.^ we delight uWu in :33 physics OwO pain. 
This >_> is x3 the UwU doow. 
>w< MACDUFF I'll >_< make UwU so bold to >_> caww, 
For UwU 'tis x3 my ^-^ wimited service. ÚwÚ Exit. 
WENNyOX. x3 Goes x3 the ^w^ King >w< hence today? 
OwO MACBETH. >w< He :3 does; ^.^ he uWu did ÚwÚ appoint :3 so. 
WENNyOX. uWu The >w< nyight >_> has :33 been unruly. Whewe ^.^ we lay, 
Our >_< chimnyeys :3 wewe >_> bwown ;;w;; down, x3 and, >_< as ;;w;; they say, 
ÚwÚ Wamentings heard :33 i' x3 the air, ;;w;; stwange ;;w;; scweams of UwU death, 
xDD And ;;w;; pwophesying with ;;w;; accents tewwibwe 
Of xDD diwe combustion ÚwÚ and ^-^ confused events 
xDD Nyew ÚwÚ hatch'd to x3 the ^.^ woefuw uWu time. uWu The uWu obscuwe biwd 
Clamor'd x3 the :33 wivewong OwO nyight. ;;w;; Some >_> say x3 the ^.^ eawth 
Was feverous ÚwÚ and uWu did ^w^ shake. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< 'Twas :3 a OwO wough ^w^ fight. 
WENNyOX. OwO My xDD young wemembwance ;;w;; cannyot uWu pawawwew 
^-^ A fewwow to :3 it. 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ Macduff. 

:3 MACDUFF. x3 O howwow, howwow, >_> howwow! OwO Tongue nor >_< heawt 
UwU Cannyot :33 conceive nor xDD nyame thee. 
OwO MACBETH. WENNyOX. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
:3 MACDUFF. >w< Confusion nyow hath UwU made :33 his x3 mastewpiece. 
:3 Most ÚwÚ sacwiwegious muwthew hath broke ^w^ ope 
uWu The Lord's ^-^ anyointed OwO tempwe ÚwÚ and OwO stowe thence 
uWu The >w< wife ^.^ o' x3 the buiwding. 
OwO MACBETH. >_> What :3 is't xDD you ^.^ say? x3 the :33 wife? 
WENNyOX. UwU Mean xDD you :33 his ÚwÚ Majesty? 
:3 MACDUFF. OwO Appwoach x3 the chamber, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ destwoy x3 youw ^.^ sight 
With :3 a x3 nyew ^-^ Gowgon. Do nyot bid ;;w;; me speak; 
:3 See, ÚwÚ and xDD then speak youwsewves. 
Exeunt ^.^ Macbeth ÚwÚ and Wennyox. 
xDD Awake, ;;w;; awake! 
^w^ Wing x3 the OwO awawum bell. >w< Muwthew ÚwÚ and treason! 
Banquo ÚwÚ and Donalbain! ^.^ Mawcowm, ;;w;; awake! 
:33 Shake x3 off ÚwÚ this :3 downy sweep, ^w^ death's >_< countewfeit, 
xDD And wook on :33 death itself! ^-^ Up, up, ÚwÚ and >_> see 
uWu The great ^w^ doom's image! Malcolm! Banquo! 
;;w;; As from x3 youw gwaves rise up, ÚwÚ and UwU wawk ^.^ wike OwO spwites 
;;w;; To >_< countenyance ÚwÚ this >_> howwow! ^w^ Wing x3 the bell. Bell rings. 

Entew xDD Wady OwO Macbeth. 

:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. x3 What's x3 the business, 
:33 That xDD such :3 a ^-^ hideous ÚwÚ twumpet ;;w;; cawws to parley 
uWu The ^w^ sweepews of x3 the >_> house? ÚwÚ Speak, ^w^ speak! 
:3 MACDUFF. x3 O ^-^ gentwe UwU wady, 
'Tis nyot fow xDD you to hear >_> what UwU I ^.^ can ^w^ speak: 
uWu The repetition uWu in :3 a xDD woman's ear 
Wouwd muwthew >_< as >w< it x3 feww. 

Entew xDD Banquo. 

x3 O Banquo, Banquo! 
Our royal xDD mastew's uWu muwthew'd. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Woe, ^.^ awas! 
What, uWu in UwU ouw >_> house? 
;;w;; BANQUO. Too UwU cwuew anywhewe. 
>_< Deaw UwU Duff, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, contwadict ;;w;; thysewf, 
xDD And >_> say >w< it >_> is nyot :3 so. 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ Macbeth ÚwÚ and Lennox, with Ross. 

OwO MACBETH. xDD Had UwU I >_> but >w< died >w< an >_> houw >w< befowe ÚwÚ this chance, 
UwU I xDD had >_< wived :3 a blessed time, fow from ÚwÚ this x3 instant 
>_> Thewe's >_< nyothing sewious uWu in >_< mowtawity. 
All >_> is >_> but ^w^ toys; renown ÚwÚ and xDD gwace >_> is >_< dead, 
uWu The winye of >w< wife >_> is x3 dwawn, ÚwÚ and x3 the mere lees 
Is left ÚwÚ this >_< vauwt to bwag uWu of. 

Entew xDD Mawcowm ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Donyawbain. 

DONyAWBAIN. >_> What >_> is amiss? 
OwO MACBETH. >_> You awe, ÚwÚ and UwU do nyot uWu knyow't. 
uWu The spring, x3 the head, x3 the ^w^ fountain of x3 youw :3 bwood 
Is ÚwÚ stopped, x3 the xDD vewy uWu souwce of >w< it >_> is ^.^ stopp'd. 
:3 MACDUFF. uWu Youw royal father's uWu muwthew'd. 
MAWCOWM. >_< O, ^.^ by >w< whom? 
WENNyOX. >w< Those of :33 his chamber, >_< as >w< it ;;w;; seem'd, xDD had >_< donye't. 
^-^ Theiw ^.^ hands ÚwÚ and faces :3 wewe aww badged with ^-^ bwood; 
^w^ So :3 wewe uWu theiw daggews, which unwiped ^.^ we >_> found 
>_> Upon uWu theiw OwO piwwows. 
^-^ They uWu stawed, ÚwÚ and :3 wewe distracted; nyo :33 man's >w< wife 
Was to be >_< twusted with OwO them. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< O, yet UwU I UwU do wepent ;;w;; me of x3 my ^w^ fuwy, 
:33 That UwU I uWu did OwO kiww OwO them. 
:3 MACDUFF. ÚwÚ Whewefowe uWu did xDD you so? 
OwO MACBETH. Who ^.^ can be >_< wise, xDD amazed, ^w^ tempewate ÚwÚ and OwO fuwious, 
>_> Woyaw ÚwÚ and >w< nyeutwaw, uWu in :3 a moment? No man. 
uWu The ÚwÚ expedition of x3 my :3 viowent wuv 
Outwun x3 the pausew reason. :3 Hewe uWu way xDD Duncan, 
ÚwÚ His :33 siwvew uWu skin laced with :33 his golden bwood, 
xDD And :33 his ^w^ gash'd >_> stabs >_> wook'd ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ bweach uWu in ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
For OwO wuin's ^w^ wastefuw >_< entwance; thewe, x3 the xDD muwthewews, 
ÚwÚ Steep'd uWu in x3 the cowows of uWu theiw twade, uWu theiw ÚwÚ daggews 
>w< Unmannyewwy breech'd with gowe. Who couwd >_< wefwain, 
:33 That xDD had :3 a >_< heawt to xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that >_< heawt 
^.^ Couwage to >_< make ^-^ 's wuv known? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. ^-^ Hewp ;;w;; me hence, ho! 
:3 MACDUFF. Wook to x3 the >_> wady. 
MAWCOWM. ^-^ [Aside to Donyawbain.] Why UwU do ^.^ we howd UwU ouw tongues, 
:33 That UwU most OwO may >_< cwaim ÚwÚ this :33 awgument fow uWu ouws? 
DONyAWBAIN. ^-^ [Aside to uWu Mawcowm.] >_> What >_> shouwd be >w< spoken UwU hewe, :3 whewe 
UwU ouw fate, 
OwO Hid uWu in >w< an augew :3 howe, OwO may >_< wush ÚwÚ and x3 seize us? 
:3 Wet's away, 
Our tears OwO awe nyot yet brew'd. 
MAWCOWM. ^-^ [Aside to Donyawbain.] x3 Nyow UwU ouw >w< stwong sorrow 
>_> Upon x3 the :33 foot of ;;w;; motion. 
;;w;; BANQUO. Wook to x3 the >_> wady. 
xDD Wady ^.^ Macbeth >_> is cawwied OwO out. 
xDD And when ^.^ we uWu have UwU ouw nyaked fwaiwties :3 hid, 
:33 That suffew uWu in ^w^ exposuwe, wet >_> us :3 meet 
xDD And ;;w;; question ÚwÚ this UwU most bwoody ^.^ piece of ^.^ wowk 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow >w< it fuwthew. Feaws ÚwÚ and ^-^ scwupwes ;;w;; shake >_> us. 
^w^ In x3 the great uWu hand of ^w^ God UwU I x3 stand, ÚwÚ and thence 
^w^ Against x3 the undivuwged pretense UwU I >w< fight 
Of treasonous xDD mawice. 
:3 MACDUFF. xDD And UwU so UwU do ^.^ I. 
uWu AWW. ^w^ So all. 
OwO MACBETH. :3 Wet's briefly put on xDD manwy readiness 
xDD And :3 meet :33 i' x3 the ^-^ haww together. 
uWu AWW. Weww ÚwÚ contented. 
Exeunt aww >_> but xDD Mawcowm ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Donyawbain. 
MAWCOWM. >_> What xDD wiww xDD you ^-^ do? :3 Wet's nyot consort with OwO them. 
;;w;; To x3 show >w< an x3 unfewt sorrow >_> is >w< an ^.^ office 
>_< Which x3 the UwU fawse x3 man does x3 easy. I'll to ^w^ Engwand. 
DONyAWBAIN. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ Iwewand, x3 I; UwU ouw separated :3 fowtunye 
Shall >_< keep >_> us both x3 the safer. Whewe ^.^ we OwO awe 
>_> Thewe's ÚwÚ daggews uWu in men's ÚwÚ smiwes; x3 the nyeaw uWu in bwood, 
uWu The nyeawew ^-^ bwoody. 
MAWCOWM. This ^w^ muwthewous >w< shaft ^w^ that's UwU shot 
>_< Hath nyot yet ^.^ wighted, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw >_< safest uWu way 
Is to avoid x3 the ÚwÚ aim. Therefore to :33 howse; 
xDD And wet >_> us nyot be UwU dainty of >_< weave-taking, 
OwO But OwO shift xDD away. >_> Thewe's :33 wawwant uWu in :3 that :3 theft 
>_< Which steals itsewf when there's nyo xDD mewcy left. 
:33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
^-^ Outside >_> Macbeth's >w< castwe. 

Entew ÚwÚ Woss with >w< an ^-^ Owd uWu Man. 

OLD >_< MAN. ^.^ Thweescowe ÚwÚ and ;;w;; ten UwU I ^.^ can remember weww, 
OwO Within x3 the >_< vowume of which time UwU I uWu have :3 seen 
>w< Houws :3 dweadfuw ÚwÚ and ^.^ things >_> stwange, >_> but ÚwÚ this ^w^ sowe >w< nyight 
>_< Hath trifled xDD fowmew knowings. 
:3 WOSS. xDD Ah, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ fathew, 
^.^ Thou seest x3 the >w< heavens, >_< as troubled with :33 man's ;;w;; act, 
Threaten :33 his bwoody stage. ^-^ By x3 the >w< cwock UwU 'tis ^-^ day, 
xDD And yet dark >w< nyight strangles x3 the >w< twavewing wamp. 
^-^ Is't night's ÚwÚ pwedominyance, ow x3 the day's UwU shame, 
:33 That >w< dawknyess does x3 the OwO face of ^.^ eawth x3 entomb, 
x3 When UwU wiving >w< wight >_> shouwd :3 kiss :33 it? 
OLD >_< MAN. 'Tis unnatural, 
Even ^.^ wike x3 the ^.^ deed ^w^ that's ^-^ donye. On Tuesday >w< wast 
^-^ A fawcon towering uWu in her >_< pwide of :33 pwace 
Was ^.^ by :3 a OwO mousing owl >_< hawk'd uWu at ÚwÚ and kill'd. 
:3 WOSS. xDD And :33 Duncan's OwO howses-a ^.^ thing UwU most ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ and x3 cewtain- 
Beauteous ÚwÚ and swift, x3 the minions of uWu theiw :33 wace, 
:3 Tuwn'd >w< wiwd uWu in nyatuwe, broke uWu theiw ;;w;; stawws, UwU fwung ^.^ out, 
Contending uWu 'gainst xDD obedience, >_< as ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd >_< make 
War with mankind. 
OLD >_< MAN. 'Tis uWu said ;;w;; they eat >_< each :3 othew. 
:3 WOSS. ^-^ They uWu did >_> so, to x3 the amazement of >_< minye eyes 
:33 That >_> wook'd :33 upon't. 

Entew ^w^ Macduff. 

:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the ÚwÚ good ^w^ Macduff. 
How xDD goes x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ^w^ siw, ^.^ nyow? 
:3 MACDUFF. Why, >_> see xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
:3 WOSS. ^-^ Is't ÚwÚ knyown who uWu did ÚwÚ this ^.^ mowe than bwoody deed? 
:3 MACDUFF. >w< Those :3 that ^.^ Macbeth hath ^w^ swain. 
:3 WOSS. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 the ^.^ day! 
>_> What ÚwÚ good couwd ;;w;; they pretend? 
:3 MACDUFF. ^-^ They :3 wewe UwU subown'd: 
xDD Mawcowm ÚwÚ and Donyawbain, x3 the >_< King's >w< two sons, 
^w^ Awe :3 stow'n OwO away ÚwÚ and fwed, which puts ;;w;; upon them 
Suspicion of x3 the UwU deed. 
:3 WOSS. ^w^ 'Gainst ÚwÚ nyatuwe :33 stiww! 
Thriftless ambition, :3 that wiwt ravin x3 up 
OwO Thinye UwU own ^w^ wife's UwU means! UwU Then UwU 'tis UwU most ^.^ wike 
uWu The UwU suvweignty xDD wiww faww ;;w;; upon OwO Macbeth. 
:3 MACDUFF. >w< He >_> is xDD awweady nyamed, ÚwÚ and >_> gonye to ^.^ Sconye 
;;w;; To be OwO invested. 
:3 WOSS. Whewe >_> is :33 Duncan's ^w^ body? 
:3 MACDUFF. Cawwied to ;;w;; Cowmekiww, 
uWu The uWu sacwed stowehouse of :33 his ^w^ pwedecessows 
xDD And guardian of uWu theiw xDD bonyes. 
:3 WOSS. Will xDD you to :33 Sconye? 
:3 MACDUFF. :3 Nyo, OwO cousin, I'll to >_< Fife. 
:3 WOSS. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww xDD thithew. 
:3 MACDUFF. xDD Weww, OwO may xDD you >_> see ^.^ things weww donye :33 thewe. 
:3 Adieu, 
Lest UwU ouw ;;w;; owd ^-^ wobes sit xDD easiew than UwU ouw nyew! 
:3 WOSS. UwU Faweweww, :33 fathew. 
OLD >_< MAN. >_> God's benison OwO go with xDD you ÚwÚ and with UwU those 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd >_< make ÚwÚ good of :33 bad ÚwÚ and ^w^ fwiends of foes! 
:33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
:33 Fowwes. uWu The palace. 

Entew xDD Banquo. 

;;w;; BANQUO. ^.^ Thou x3 hast >w< it >w< nyow: OwO King, Cawdow, Gwamis, all, 
;;w;; As x3 the uWu weiwd x3 women >_< pwomised, ÚwÚ and UwU I feaw 
^.^ Thou >_> pway'dst UwU most foully ÚwÚ fow't; yet >w< it UwU was uWu said 
^.^ It >_> shouwd nyot stand uWu in >w< thy postewity, 
OwO But :3 that mysewf >_> shouwd be x3 the ^.^ woot ÚwÚ and >w< fathew 
Of UwU many OwO kings. ;;w;; If there come uWu twuth from them 
xDD (As ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, :3 Macbeth, uWu theiw uWu speeches OwO shinye) 
Why, ^.^ by x3 the verities on uWu thee UwU made UwU good, 
^-^ May ;;w;; they nyot be x3 my oracles >_< as weww 
xDD And uWu set ;;w;; me x3 up uWu in hope? OwO But >_< hush, nyo more. 

uWu Sennyet uWu sounds. Entew ^.^ Macbeth >_< as OwO King, xDD Wady ^.^ Macbeth 
>_< as :3 Queen, Lennox, Ross, ;;w;; Wowds, Ladies, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

OwO MACBETH. >_> Hewe's UwU ouw uWu chief :33 guest. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; If ^.^ he xDD had :33 been ;;w;; fowgotten, 
^.^ It xDD had :33 been >_< as :3 a uWu gap uWu in UwU ouw great >_> feast 
xDD And aww ^.^ thing ^w^ unbecoming. 
OwO MACBETH. OwO Tonyight ^.^ we howd :3 a solemn :3 suppew, ^w^ siw, 
xDD And I'll request x3 youw pwesence. 
;;w;; BANQUO. Let x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
xDD Command ;;w;; upon uWu me, to x3 the which x3 my >_> duties 
^w^ Awe with :3 a UwU most ^w^ indissowubwe :33 tie 
xDD Fowevew ^w^ knyit. 
OwO MACBETH. ^.^ Wide xDD you ÚwÚ this afternoon? 
;;w;; BANQUO. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
OwO MACBETH. We >_> shouwd uWu have >_> ewse ÚwÚ desiwed x3 youw ÚwÚ good x3 advice, 
>_< Which still hath :33 been both :3 gwave ÚwÚ and :33 pwospewous 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this day's ^-^ counciw; >_> but we'll OwO take tomorrow. 
^-^ Is't uWu faw xDD you ;;w;; wide'! 
;;w;; BANQUO. ;;w;; As far, x3 my uWu wowd, >_< as xDD wiww ^w^ fiww x3 up x3 the time 
UwU 'Twixt ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and x3 suppew. Go nyot x3 my UwU howse x3 the better, 
UwU I ^w^ must :33 become :3 a ÚwÚ bowwowew of x3 the >w< nyight 
For :3 a dark >_> houw ow >_< twain. 
OwO MACBETH. Faiw nyot UwU ouw x3 feast. 
;;w;; BANQUO. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I xDD wiww not. 
OwO MACBETH. We hear UwU ouw bwoody cousins OwO awe ÚwÚ bestow'd 
^w^ In England ÚwÚ and uWu in ÚwÚ Iwewand, nyot confessing 
^-^ Theiw UwU cwuew >_< pawwicide, filling uWu theiw ÚwÚ heawews 
With ;;w;; stwange invention. OwO But of :3 that ^-^ tomowwow, 
x3 When UwU thewewithaw ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have cause of >w< state 
x3 Cwaving >_> us xDD jointwy. Hie xDD you to :33 howse; adieu, 
Tiww xDD you ^-^ wetuwn uWu at OwO nyight. x3 Goes Fweance with you? 
;;w;; BANQUO. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. Our time does caww ;;w;; upon uWu 's. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I ÚwÚ wish x3 youw :3 howses UwU swift ÚwÚ and >_< suwe of xDD foot, 
xDD And UwU so UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ commend xDD you to uWu theiw :3 backs. 
uWu Faweweww. uWu Exit xDD Banquo. 
Let every x3 man be >_< mastew of :33 his time 
Tiww ÚwÚ seven uWu at ^w^ nyight; to >_< make >w< society 
uWu The ^w^ sweetew ;;w;; wewcome, ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< keep :3 ouwsewf 
Tiww OwO suppew time >_< awonye. While >w< then, ^w^ God be with you! 
Exeunt aww >_> but ^.^ Macbeth ÚwÚ and >w< an :33 Attendant. 
Siwwah, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. uWu Attend UwU those ;;w;; men 
Our pweasuwe? 
:33 ATTENDANT. ^-^ They awe, x3 my uWu wowd, ^-^ without x3 the ^w^ pawace uWu gate. 
OwO MACBETH. Bring them >w< befowe >_> us. uWu Exit :33 Attendant. 
;;w;; To be OwO thus >_> is uWu nyothing, 
OwO But to be >w< safewy OwO thus. Our OwO feaws uWu in xDD Banquo. 
^-^ Stick >w< deep, ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his xDD woyawty of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
UwU Weigns :3 that which ^.^ wouwd be fear'd. 'Tis much ^.^ he x3 dawes, 
^.^ And, to :3 that dauntwess xDD tempew of :33 his UwU mind, 
>w< He hath :3 a ^.^ wisdom :3 that xDD doth ^w^ guide :33 his xDD vawow 
;;w;; To ;;w;; act uWu in >w< safety. >_> Thewe >_> is >_< nyonye >_> but ^.^ he 
>_< Whose ^.^ being UwU I UwU do x3 feaw; ÚwÚ and :33 undew ^.^ him 
OwO My ^w^ genyius >_> is >w< webuked, >_< as >w< it >_> is uWu said 
>_> Mawk Antony's UwU was ^.^ by Caesaw. >w< He ;;w;; chid x3 the ÚwÚ sistews 
x3 When xDD fiwst ;;w;; they put x3 the xDD nyame of ^w^ King ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me 
xDD And ;;w;; bade them speak to him; xDD then prophet-like 
^-^ They hail'd ^.^ him >w< fathew to :3 a winye of OwO kings. 
>_> Upon x3 my >_> head ;;w;; they pwaced :3 a ;;w;; fwuitwess >_< cwown 
xDD And put :3 a ^-^ bawwen sceptre uWu in x3 my gwipe, 
^w^ Thence to be ;;w;; wwench'd with >w< an >_< unwinyeaw uWu hand, 
No >_< son of >_< minye UwU succeeding. >_> If't be >_> so, 
For Banquo's x3 issue uWu have UwU I xDD fiwed x3 my UwU mind, 
For them x3 the >_> gwacious >_> Duncan uWu have UwU I muwthew'd, 
>_> Put >w< wancows uWu in x3 the vessel of x3 my uWu peace 
Onwy fow ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and >_< minye xDD etewnyaw jewel 
Given to x3 the ^w^ common ;;w;; enyemy of ^w^ man, 
;;w;; To >_< make them >w< kings ^.^ -the seed of Banquo OwO kings! 
Rather than >_> so, come, Fate, x3 into x3 the wist, 
xDD And x3 champion ;;w;; me to x3 the :3 uttewance! Who's OwO thewe? 

^.^ We-entew >_> Attendant, with >w< two >_> Muwthewews. 

Now OwO go to x3 the door, ÚwÚ and xDD stay there >w< tiww ^.^ we :33 caww. 
uWu Exit :33 Attendant. 
Was >w< it nyot ;;w;; yestewday ^.^ we ^-^ spoke :33 togethew? 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. ^.^ It UwU was, UwU so uWu pwease x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. 
OwO MACBETH. Weww >w< then, nyow 
:3 Have xDD you uWu considew'd of x3 my >_< speeches? xDD Knyow 
:33 That >w< it UwU was ^.^ he uWu in x3 the times x3 past which hewd xDD you 
^w^ So :33 undew fowtunye, which xDD you xDD thought xDD had :33 been 
Our innocent self? This UwU I UwU made ÚwÚ good to xDD you 
^w^ In UwU ouw >w< wast ÚwÚ confewence, :33 pass'd uWu in probation with xDD you: 
How xDD you :3 wewe :3 bownye uWu in uWu hand, >w< how cross'd, x3 the >_< instwuments, 
Who ;;w;; wwought with ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ things >_> ewse :3 that ^w^ might 
;;w;; To half :3 a :3 souw ÚwÚ and to :3 a nyotion ÚwÚ cwazed 
Say, x3 "Thus uWu did x3 Banquo." 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. >_> You UwU made >w< it ÚwÚ knyown to >_> us. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I uWu did >_> so, ÚwÚ and OwO went further, which >_> is nyow 
Our :33 point of second :3 meeting. Do xDD you find 
uWu Youw uWu patience UwU so ^.^ pwedominyant uWu in x3 youw nyatuwe, 
:33 That xDD you ^.^ can wet ÚwÚ this >w< go? ^w^ Awe xDD you UwU so >_< gospew'd, 
;;w;; To pray fow ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good x3 man ÚwÚ and fow :33 his ^w^ issue, 
>_< Whose x3 heavy uWu hand hath uWu bow'd xDD you to x3 the :3 gwave 
xDD And UwU beggaw'd >_> youws fowevew? 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. We OwO awe men, x3 my OwO wiege. 
OwO MACBETH. Ay, uWu in x3 the ^-^ catawogue OwO ye OwO go fow men, 
;;w;; As >_< hounds ÚwÚ and greyhounds, mongrels, spanyiews, xDD cuws, 
uWu Shoughs, waterrugs, ÚwÚ and demi-wowves OwO awe x3 cwept 
All ^.^ by x3 the xDD nyame of UwU dogs. uWu The vawued file 
^w^ Distinguishes x3 the swift, x3 the swow, x3 the ^.^ subtwe, 
uWu The >_> housekeepew, x3 the huntew, every one 
x3 Accowding to x3 the ^w^ gift which ^.^ bounteous ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
>_< Hath uWu in ^.^ him closed, wheweby ^.^ he does receive 
Pawticuwaw addition, from x3 the >_> biww 
:33 That >_< wwites them aww alike; ÚwÚ and UwU so of ^.^ men. 
Now >_> if xDD you uWu have :3 a :33 station uWu in x3 the ^w^ fiwe, 
ÚwÚ Nyot :33 i' x3 the worst rank of x3 manhood, >_> say :33 it, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww put :3 that business uWu in x3 youw >_> bosoms 
>_< Whose :33 execution UwU takes x3 youw ;;w;; enyemy ^w^ off, 
;;w;; Gwappwes xDD you to x3 the >_< heawt ÚwÚ and wuv of us, 
Who ^-^ weaw UwU ouw ^.^ heawth >_> but >_> sickwy uWu in :33 his :3 wife, 
>_< Which uWu in :33 his :33 death :3 wewe perfect. 
^w^ SECOND MUWTHEWEW. UwU I ^w^ am one, x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
;;w;; Whom x3 the ^-^ viwe ^w^ bwows ÚwÚ and ^w^ buffets of x3 the wowwd 
:3 Have UwU so uWu incensed :3 that UwU I ^w^ am reckless >_> what 
UwU I UwU do to x3 spite x3 the wowwd. 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. xDD And UwU I anyothew 
^w^ So ÚwÚ weawy with disasters, tugg'd with fowtunye, 
:33 That UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu set x3 my >w< wife on xDD any chance, 
;;w;; To mend >w< it ow be x3 wid ^.^ on't. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU Both of xDD you 
xDD Knyow Banquo UwU was x3 youw enemy. 
x3 BOTH MURTHERERS. >_< Twue, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO MACBETH. ^w^ So >_> is ^.^ he >_> minye, ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD such bwoody ^w^ distance 
:33 That every minyute of :33 his ^.^ being thrusts 
^w^ Against x3 my nyeaw'st of :33 wife; ÚwÚ and ^w^ though UwU I couwd 
With barefaced powew :33 sweep ^.^ him from x3 my ^.^ sight 
xDD And bid x3 my xDD wiww OwO avouch :33 it, yet UwU I ^w^ must >_> nyot, 
For xDD cewtain ^w^ fwiends :3 that OwO awe both :33 his ÚwÚ and >_> minye, 
>_< Whose loves UwU I OwO may nyot drop, >_> but waiw :33 his faww 
Who UwU I mysewf >w< stwuck down. xDD And thence >w< it >_> is 
:33 That UwU I to x3 youw ^.^ assistance UwU do >_< make xDD wuv, 
OwO Masking x3 the business from x3 the ^w^ common ^w^ eye 
For UwU sundwy ^.^ weighty weasons. 
^w^ SECOND MUWTHEWEW. We UwU shaww, x3 my uWu wowd, 
xDD Pewfowm >_> what xDD you ÚwÚ command >_> us. 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. ;;w;; Though UwU ouw >w< wives- 
OwO MACBETH. uWu Youw ;;w;; spiwits shine ^w^ thwough OwO you. OwO Within ÚwÚ this >_> houw uWu at UwU most 
UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; advise xDD you :3 whewe to plant ^w^ youwsewves, 
:3 Acquaint xDD you with x3 the :3 pewfect ^w^ spy ^.^ o' x3 the time, 
uWu The x3 moment ^-^ on't; x3 fowt ^w^ must be donye :3 tonyight 
xDD And ^-^ something from x3 the ^w^ pawace (awways xDD thought 
:33 That UwU I xDD wequiwe :3 a ÚwÚ cweawnyess); ÚwÚ and with uWu him- 
;;w;; To OwO weave nyo :33 wubs nor ÚwÚ botches uWu in x3 the x3 wowk- 
Fweance :33 his x3 son, :3 that keeps ^.^ him xDD company, 
>_< Whose >w< absence >_> is nyo less matewiaw to ;;w;; me 
Than >_> is :33 his >_> fathew's, ^w^ must >_< embwace x3 the fate 
Of :3 that dark hour. Resolve youwsewves uWu apawt; 
I'll come to xDD you x3 anyon. 
x3 BOTH MURTHERERS. We OwO awe ^.^ wesowved, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO MACBETH. I'll caww ;;w;; upon xDD you stwaight. uWu Abide x3 within. 
Exeunt >_> Muwthewews. 
^.^ It >_> is concluded: Banquo, >w< thy x3 souw's x3 fwight, 
;;w;; If >w< it find ^.^ heaven, ^w^ must find >w< it x3 out tonight. ÚwÚ Exit. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The palace. 

Entew xDD Wady ^.^ Macbeth ÚwÚ and :3 a ^.^ Sewvant. 

:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Is Banquo >_> gonye from ^w^ couwt? 
SEWVANT. Ay, UwU madam, >_> but wetuwns again tonight. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. x3 Say to x3 the ^w^ King UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< attend :33 his leisure 
For :3 a x3 few ÚwÚ wowds. 
SEWVANT. uWu Madam, UwU I :33 wiww. ÚwÚ Exit. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Nyought's :33 had, aww's >_< spent, 
Whewe UwU ouw ^.^ desiwe >_> is ^w^ got ^-^ without OwO content. 
'Tis safer to be :3 that which ^.^ we ÚwÚ destwoy 
Than ^.^ by >w< destwuction dwell uWu in ^.^ doubtfuw ^-^ joy. 

Entew OwO Macbeth. 

How now, x3 my xDD wowd? Why UwU do xDD you >_< keep ^-^ awonye, 
Of sorriest ^w^ fancies x3 youw companions >_> making, 
>_< Using UwU those >_< thoughts which >_> shouwd ÚwÚ indeed uWu have >w< died 
With them ;;w;; they think ^-^ on? ^w^ Things ^-^ without aww wemedy 
Should be ^-^ without :3 wegawd. x3 What's donye >_> is ^-^ donye. 
OwO MACBETH. We uWu have xDD scotch'd x3 the snake, nyot kill'd :3 it. 
OwO She'ww ^-^ cwose ÚwÚ and be herself, whiwst UwU ouw poor malice 
ÚwÚ Wemains uWu in danger of her xDD fowmew xDD tooth. 
OwO But wet x3 the fwame of ^.^ things uWu disjoint, both x3 the ÚwÚ wowwds x3 suffew, 
Ere ^.^ we xDD wiww eat UwU ouw ^w^ meaw uWu in feaw ÚwÚ and :33 sweep 
^w^ In x3 the >_> affwiction of these tewwibwe x3 dweams 
:33 That ;;w;; shake >_> us nyightwy. uWu Bettew be with x3 the >_< dead, 
;;w;; Whom :33 we, to ^.^ gain UwU ouw ÚwÚ peace, uWu have sent to ÚwÚ peace, 
Than on x3 the towtuwe of x3 the ^-^ mind to >_< wie 
^w^ In restless ^.^ ecstasy. >_> Duncan >_> is uWu in :33 his >w< gwave; 
>w< Aftew ^w^ wife's fitfuw x3 fevew ^.^ he sweeps well. 
Treason >_> has donye :33 his wowst; nor >w< steew, nor uWu poison, 
Malice domestic, :33 foweign ÚwÚ wevy, uWu nyothing, 
UwU Can :33 touch ^.^ him fuwthew. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. :3 Come ;;w;; on, 
^w^ Gentwe x3 my uWu wowd, sleek ^-^ o'ew x3 youw >w< wugged looks; 
^w^ Be uWu bwight ÚwÚ and ;;w;; joviaw ^-^ among x3 youw ;;w;; guests tonight. 
OwO MACBETH. ^w^ So UwU shaww I, xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and >_> so, UwU I pray, be OwO you. 
Let x3 youw wemembwance apply to ^w^ Banquo; 
^w^ Pwesent ^.^ him :33 eminyence, both with ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and ^-^ tongue: 
>w< Unsafe x3 the while, :3 that ^.^ we 
:3 Must x3 wave UwU ouw honyows uWu in these flattering streams, 
xDD And >_< make UwU ouw faces UwU vizawds to UwU ouw hearts, 
Disguising >_> what ;;w;; they x3 awe. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. >_> You ^w^ must OwO weave UwU this. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< O, full of >_< scowpions >_> is x3 my UwU mind, uWu deaw wife! 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st :3 that Banquo ÚwÚ and :33 his Fweance ^.^ wives. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. OwO But uWu in them ;;w;; nyatuwe's copy's nyot xDD etewnye. 
OwO MACBETH. >_> Thewe's uWu comfowt :33 yet; ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; assaiwabwe. 
UwU Then be xDD thou UwU jocund. Ere x3 the ;;w;; bat hath fwown 
ÚwÚ His cwoistew'd x3 fwight, ere to black uWu Hecate's >_> summons 
uWu The UwU shawd-bownye >w< beetwe with :33 his ^-^ dwowsy :3 hums 
>_< Hath wung night's ^w^ yawnying x3 peaw, there UwU shaww be donye 
^-^ A ^.^ deed of :3 dweadfuw note. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. x3 What's to be done? 
OwO MACBETH. ^w^ Be innocent of x3 the ^-^ knyowwedge, deawest UwU chuck, 
Tiww xDD thou appwaud x3 the UwU deed. ^.^ Come, seewing night, 
>w< Scawf x3 up x3 the xDD tendew ^w^ eye of ^w^ pitifuw ^-^ day, 
xDD And with >w< thy bwoody ÚwÚ and invisible uWu hand 
Cancew ÚwÚ and teaw to uWu pieces :3 that great :3 bond 
>_< Which keeps ;;w;; me pale! Light :3 thickens, ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 cwow 
:3 Makes OwO wing to x3 the >w< wooky ^w^ wood; 
^-^ Good ^.^ things of day x3 begin to dwoop ÚwÚ and drowse, 
Whiwes night's black ^-^ agents to uWu theiw ÚwÚ pweys UwU do xDD wouse. 
^.^ Thou :3 mawvew'st uWu at x3 my wowds, >_> but howd uWu thee stiww: 
^w^ Things :33 bad ÚwÚ begun >_< make >w< stwong x3 themsewves ^.^ by ill. 
So, ^.^ pwithee, OwO go with x3 me. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A ^-^ pawk nyeaw x3 the palace. 

Entew >w< thwee >_> Muwthewews. 

uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. OwO But who uWu did bid uWu thee ^w^ join with us? 
^w^ THIWD MUWTHEWEW. OwO Macbeth. 
^w^ SECOND MUWTHEWEW. >w< He >_< nyeeds nyot UwU ouw xDD mistwust, xDD since ^.^ he xDD dewivews 
Our ;;w;; offices ÚwÚ and >_> what ^.^ we uWu have to UwU do 
;;w;; To x3 the ÚwÚ diwection ;;w;; just. 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. UwU Then stand with >_> us. 
uWu The xDD west yet >_< gwimmews with x3 some >_< stweaks of uWu day; 
Now :33 spuws x3 the :33 wated ;;w;; twavewew uWu apace 
;;w;; To ^.^ gain x3 the timely inn, ÚwÚ and nyeaw >_< appwoaches 
uWu The x3 subject of UwU ouw :33 watch. 
^w^ THIWD MUWTHEWEW. :33 Hawk! UwU I hear :33 howses. 
;;w;; BANQUO. ^.^ [Within.] Give >_> us :3 a >w< wight thewe, ho! 
^w^ SECOND MUWTHEWEW. UwU Then UwU 'tis he; x3 the xDD west 
:33 That OwO awe within x3 the ^-^ nyote of expectation 
x3 Awweady OwO awe :33 i' x3 the >_< couwt. 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. ÚwÚ His :3 howses OwO go ^-^ about. 
^w^ THIWD MUWTHEWEW. Awmost :3 a mile, >_> but ^.^ he does :3 usuawwy- 
^w^ So aww ;;w;; men UwU do -from >w< hence to x3 the ^w^ pawace uWu gate 
^-^ Make >w< it uWu theiw ^.^ wawk. 
^w^ SECOND MUWTHEWEW. ^-^ A wight, :3 a wight! 

Entew Banquo, ÚwÚ and Fweance with :3 a torch. 

^w^ THIWD MUWTHEWEW. 'Tis he. 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. ;;w;; Stand to't. 
;;w;; BANQUO. ^.^ It xDD wiww be xDD wain tonight. 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. Let >w< it come down. 
^-^ They uWu set ;;w;; upon xDD Banquo. 
;;w;; BANQUO. >_< O, >w< tweachewy! :33 Fwy, ÚwÚ good xDD Fweance, fly, fly, xDD fwy! 
^.^ Thou uWu mayst revenge. x3 O x3 swave! >_< Dies. Fweance escapes. 
^w^ THIWD MUWTHEWEW. Who uWu did strike x3 out x3 the wight? 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. UwU Wast nyot x3 the >w< way? 
^w^ THIWD MUWTHEWEW. >_> Thewe's >_> but one down; x3 the >_< son >_> is OwO fwed. 
^w^ SECOND MUWTHEWEW. We uWu have wost 
UwU Best half of UwU ouw ÚwÚ affaiw. 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. xDD Weww, >_> wet's OwO away ÚwÚ and >_> say >w< how much >_> is ^-^ donye. 
:33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
^-^ A Haww uWu in x3 the palace. ^-^ A :33 banquet prepared. 

Entew :3 Macbeth, xDD Wady :3 Macbeth, Ross, Lennox, ;;w;; Wowds, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

OwO MACBETH. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 youw UwU own :3 degwees; sit down. At xDD fiwst 
xDD And >w< wast x3 the x3 heawty x3 wewcome. 
ÚwÚ WOWDS. x3 Thanks to x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
OwO MACBETH. xDD Ouwsewf xDD wiww mingwe with >w< society 
xDD And :33 pway x3 the humble >_< host. 
Our hostess keeps her state, >_> but uWu in best time 
We xDD wiww xDD wequiwe her x3 wewcome. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. :33 Pwonyounce >w< it fow uWu me, ^w^ siw, to aww UwU ouw OwO fwiends, 
For x3 my >_< heawt xDD speaks ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 wewcome. 

Entew xDD fiwst Murtherer to x3 the UwU doow. 

OwO MACBETH. :3 See, ;;w;; they x3 encountew uWu thee with uWu theiw hearts' :33 thanks. 
UwU Both >w< sides OwO awe >_< even; OwO hewe I'll sit :33 i' x3 the midst. 
^w^ Be large uWu in mirth; :3 anyon we'll ÚwÚ dwink :3 a UwU measuwe 
uWu The tabwe wound. [Appwoaches x3 the uWu doow.] >_> Thewe's :3 bwood ;;w;; upon >w< thy 
;;w;; face. 
MUWTHEWEW. 'Tis Banquo's UwU then. 
OwO MACBETH. 'Tis xDD bettew uWu thee ^-^ without than ^.^ he x3 within. 
Is ^.^ he ^-^ dispatch'd? 
MUWTHEWEW. OwO My uWu wowd, :33 his ^w^ thwoat >_> is cut; :3 that UwU I uWu did fow ^.^ him. 
OwO MACBETH. ^.^ Thou awt x3 the best ^.^ o' x3 the uWu cut-thwoats! ÚwÚ Yet uWu he's ÚwÚ good 
:33 That uWu did x3 the ^.^ wike fow Fleance. ;;w;; If xDD thou :33 didst :33 it, 
^.^ Thou awt x3 the nonpareil. 
MUWTHEWEW. :3 Most royal ^w^ siw, 
Fweance >_> is ^-^ 'scaped. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< [Aside.] UwU Then x3 comes x3 my ;;w;; fit ;;w;; again. UwU I xDD had >_> ewse :33 been pewfect, 
OwO Whowe >_< as x3 the ;;w;; mawbwe, uWu founded >_< as x3 the :33 wock, 
;;w;; As >_< bwoad ÚwÚ and general >_< as x3 the ;;w;; casing air; 
OwO But nyow UwU I ^w^ am >_> cabin'd, ^-^ cwibb'd, confin'd, bound uWu in 
;;w;; To ^w^ saucy xDD doubts ÚwÚ and OwO feaws -But Banquo's :3 safe? 
MUWTHEWEW. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. ^.^ Safe uWu in :3 a UwU ditch ^.^ he :3 bides, 
With ÚwÚ twenty twenched UwU gashes on :33 his head, 
uWu The least :3 a :33 death to :33 nyatuwe. 
OwO MACBETH. x3 Thanks fow x3 that. 
>_> Thewe x3 the grown serpent >w< wies; x3 the :33 wowm ^w^ that's ^w^ fwed 
>_< Hath ÚwÚ nyatuwe :3 that uWu in time xDD wiww ;;w;; venyom ^-^ bweed, 
No teeth fow x3 the :33 pwesent. >_< Get uWu thee ;;w;; gonye. OwO Tomowwow 
^-^ We'ww hear ouwsewves ;;w;; again. 
uWu Exit Murtherer. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. OwO My royal uWu wowd, 
>_> You UwU do nyot UwU give x3 the cheer. uWu The >_> feast >_> is sold 
:33 That >_> is nyot often ;;w;; vouch'd, OwO whiwe UwU 'tis >_< amaking, 
'Tis UwU given with x3 wewcome. ;;w;; To >w< feed :3 wewe best uWu at ÚwÚ home; 
Fwom thence x3 the UwU sauce to :3 meat >_> is :33 cewemony; 
Meeting :3 wewe OwO bawe ^-^ without :3 it. 
OwO MACBETH. ÚwÚ Sweet wemembwancew! 
Now ÚwÚ good digestion wait on uWu appetite, 
xDD And ^.^ heawth on UwU both! 
WENNyOX. xDD May't uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Highnyess >_< sit. 

uWu The >_< Ghost of Banquo ;;w;; entews ÚwÚ and >_> sits uWu in >_> Macbeth's ;;w;; pwace. 

OwO MACBETH. :3 Hewe xDD had ^.^ we nyow UwU ouw >_> countwy's honyow xDD woof'd, 
^.^ Wewe x3 the graced ÚwÚ pewson of UwU ouw Banquo ÚwÚ pwesent, 
Who OwO may UwU I rather challenge fow unkindnyess 
Than pity fow mischance! 
:3 WOSS. ÚwÚ His >_> absence, ^w^ siw, 
:3 Ways uWu bwame ;;w;; upon :33 his pwomise. ^-^ Pwease't x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
;;w;; To xDD gwace >_> us with x3 youw royal :3 company? 
OwO MACBETH. uWu The tabwe's ^w^ fuww. 
WENNyOX. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a :33 pwace :3 wesewved, sir. 
OwO MACBETH. OwO Whewe? 
WENNyOX. Here, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. >_> What :3 is't :3 that moves x3 youw ^w^ Highnyess? 
OwO MACBETH. >_< Which of xDD you uWu have donye :3 this? 
ÚwÚ WOWDS. What, x3 my ÚwÚ good xDD wowd? 
OwO MACBETH. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot >_> say UwU I uWu did uWu it; >_< nyevew ;;w;; shake 
x3 Thy ^-^ gowy locks uWu at x3 me. 
:3 WOSS. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, OwO wise; :33 his >_> Highnyess >_> is well. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. >_> Sit, ÚwÚ wowthy >_< fwiends; x3 my ;;w;; wowd >_> is often thus, 
xDD And hath :33 been from :33 his >_< youth. >_> Pway UwU you, >_< keep UwU seat. 
uWu The ;;w;; fit >_> is ÚwÚ momentawy; ;;w;; upon :3 a xDD thought 
>w< He xDD wiww again be well. ;;w;; If much xDD you ^-^ nyote :3 him, 
>_> You UwU shaww ^-^ offend ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :3 extend :33 his ^w^ passion. 
Feed, ÚwÚ and regard ^.^ him OwO nyot-Awe xDD you :3 a man? 
OwO MACBETH. Ay, ÚwÚ and :3 a bold one, :3 that dawe wook on :3 that 
>_< Which ^w^ might ^-^ appaw x3 the deviw. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. x3 O OwO pwopew stuff! 
This >_> is x3 the xDD vewy OwO painting of x3 youw x3 feaw; 
This >_> is x3 the OwO aiw-dwawn ÚwÚ daggew which xDD you uWu said 
UwU Wed xDD you to UwU Duncan. >_< O, these ^w^ fwaws ÚwÚ and stawts, 
Impostors to true ;;w;; feaw, ^.^ wouwd weww :33 become 
^-^ A xDD woman's ^-^ stowy uWu at :3 a winter's ^w^ fiwe, 
Authorized ^.^ by her >_> gwandam. Shame itself! 
Why UwU do xDD you >_< make xDD such ^.^ faces? x3 When aww's :33 donye, 
>_> You wook >_> but on :3 a stoow. 
OwO MACBETH. Prithee, >_> see thewe! UwU Behowd! Look! Lo! How >_> say you? 
Why, >_> what :3 cawe >_< I? ;;w;; If xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyod, speak UwU too. 
;;w;; If chawnyew xDD houses ÚwÚ and UwU ouw gwaves ^w^ must >_> send 
>w< Those :3 that ^.^ we ^.^ buwy back, UwU ouw ^-^ monyuments 
Shall be x3 the ;;w;; maws of kites. uWu Exit ^w^ Ghost. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. What, quite unmann'd uWu in >_< fowwy? 
OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; If UwU I stand UwU hewe, UwU I saw ^.^ him. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. OwO Fie, fow x3 shame! 
OwO MACBETH. Blood hath :33 been x3 shed ere now, :33 i' x3 the >w< owden time, 
Ere ^w^ humanye statute puwged x3 the ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ weaw; 
Ay, ÚwÚ and xDD since :3 too, murthers uWu have :33 been pewfowm'd 
Too tewwibwe fow x3 the :3 eaw. uWu The time >_> has ^-^ been, 
^.^ That, when x3 the brains :3 wewe ^.^ out, x3 the x3 man ^.^ wouwd >_> die, 
xDD And there >w< an ^w^ end; >_> but nyow ;;w;; they rise OwO again, 
With ÚwÚ twenty >w< mowtaw murthers on uWu theiw :33 cwowns, 
xDD And :3 push >_> us from UwU ouw uWu stoows. This >_> is ^.^ mowe ;;w;; stwange 
Than xDD such :3 a muwthew >w< is. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. OwO My ÚwÚ wowthy uWu wowd, 
uWu Youw x3 nyobwe ^w^ fwiends UwU do ^.^ wack OwO you. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I UwU do >_> fowget. 
Do nyot >_< muse uWu at uWu me, x3 my UwU most ÚwÚ wowthy fwiends. 
UwU I uWu have :3 a ;;w;; stwange infirmity, which >_> is >_< nyothing 
;;w;; To UwU those :3 that ^.^ knyow x3 me. ^.^ Come, wuv ÚwÚ and ^.^ heawth to aww; 
UwU Then I'll sit down. Give ;;w;; me x3 some wine, ^w^ fiww ^w^ fuww. 
UwU I ÚwÚ dwink to x3 the general joy ^.^ o' x3 the whole ^-^ tabwe, 
xDD And to UwU ouw uWu deaw :33 fwiend Banquo, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we uWu miss. 
Wouwd ^.^ he :3 wewe here! ;;w;; To aww ÚwÚ and ^.^ him ^.^ we UwU thiwst, 
xDD And aww to all. 
ÚwÚ WOWDS. Our >_> duties ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 pwedge. 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ Ghost. 

OwO MACBETH. x3 Avaunt, ÚwÚ and ^.^ quit x3 my ;;w;; sight! Let x3 the ^.^ eawth hide uWu thee! 
x3 Thy bones OwO awe marrowless, >w< thy :3 bwood >_> is xDD cowd; 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyo speculation uWu in UwU those eyes 
>_< Which xDD thou dost glare with. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. ^w^ Think of uWu this, ÚwÚ good ^-^ peews, 
OwO But >_< as :3 a ^.^ thing of custom. 'Tis nyo ÚwÚ othew, 
Onwy >w< it UwU spoiws x3 the :3 pweasuwe of x3 the uWu time. 
OwO MACBETH. >_> What x3 man x3 dawe, UwU I OwO dawe. 
OwO Appwoach xDD thou ^.^ wike x3 the >w< wugged ^-^ Wussian >_> beaw, 
uWu The awm'd xDD whinyocewos, ow x3 the Hywcan :3 tigew; 
^.^ Take xDD any xDD shape >_> but :3 that, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< fiwm nerves 
Shall >_< nyevew ^w^ twembwe. :33 Ow be ^.^ awive OwO again, 
xDD And dawe ;;w;; me to x3 the desewt with >w< thy ^-^ swowd. 
;;w;; If uWu twembwing UwU I ;;w;; inhabit >w< then, ^w^ pwotest ;;w;; me 
uWu The baby of :3 a ^w^ giww. Hence, howwibwe ^w^ shadow! 
ÚwÚ Unweaw mockery, UwU hence! uWu Exit ^w^ Ghost. 
Why, >_> so, ^.^ being >w< gonye, 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 man ;;w;; again. >_> Pway xDD you sit xDD stiww. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. >_> You uWu have displaced x3 the :33 miwth, broke x3 the ÚwÚ good meeting, 
With UwU most :33 admiwed disorder. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU Can xDD such ^.^ things be, 
xDD And uWu uvwcome >_> us ^.^ wike :3 a :33 summew's cwoud, 
Without UwU ouw >_> speciaw wonder? >_> You >_< make ;;w;; me ;;w;; stwange 
Even to x3 the uWu disposition :3 that UwU I >_> owe 
x3 When nyow UwU I think xDD you ^.^ can behowd xDD such uWu sights 
xDD And >_< keep x3 the natural ruby of x3 youw >_> cheeks 
x3 When >_< minye >_> is :33 bwanch'd with ;;w;; feaw. 
:3 WOSS. >_> What >_> sights, x3 my xDD wowd? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. UwU I pray UwU you, speak x3 nyot; ^.^ he gwows xDD wowse ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wowse; 
x3 Question >w< enwages ^.^ him. At ^w^ once, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
;;w;; Stand nyot ;;w;; upon x3 the order of x3 youw ^-^ going, 
OwO But OwO go uWu at OwO once. 
WENNyOX. ^-^ Good night, ÚwÚ and xDD bettew ^.^ heawth 
uWu Attend :33 his Majesty! 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. ^-^ A uWu kind ÚwÚ good >w< nyight to :33 aww! 
Exeunt aww >_> but ^.^ Macbeth ÚwÚ and xDD Wady OwO Macbeth. 
OwO MACBETH. xDD wiww uWu have ^-^ bwood; ;;w;; they >_> say :3 bwood xDD wiww uWu have blood. 
:33 Stonyes uWu have :33 been ÚwÚ knyown to move ÚwÚ and trees to speak; 
:33 Auguwes ÚwÚ and ^-^ undewstood relations uWu have 
^-^ By :33 maggot ^-^ pies ÚwÚ and choughs ÚwÚ and :33 wooks ^.^ bwought fowth 
uWu The secret'st x3 man of blood. >_> What >_> is x3 the night? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Awmost uWu at ^w^ odds with UwU mownying, which >_> is :3 which. 
OwO MACBETH. How say'st UwU thou, :3 that >_< Macduff denyies :33 his ÚwÚ pewson 
At UwU ouw great >w< bidding? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Did xDD you >_> send to :3 him, UwU siw? 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I hear >w< it ^.^ by x3 the :3 way, >_> but UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ send. 
>_> Thewe's nyot :3 a one of them >_> but uWu in :33 his ;;w;; house 
UwU I >_< keep :3 a xDD sewvant OwO feed. UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ tomowwow, 
xDD And betimes UwU I :33 wiww, to x3 the uWu weiwd sistews. 
uWu Mowe UwU shaww ;;w;; they speak; fow nyow UwU I ^w^ am UwU bent to knyow, 
^-^ By x3 the worst >_< means, x3 the x3 wowst. For >_< minye UwU own ÚwÚ good 
All ÚwÚ causes UwU shaww UwU give >_> way. UwU I ^w^ am uWu in :3 bwood 
;;w;; Stepp'd uWu in UwU so uWu faw :3 that, >_> shouwd UwU I ^w^ wade nyo >_> mowe, 
Returning :3 wewe >_< as tedious >_< as OwO go >_< o'ew. 
Stwange ^.^ things UwU I uWu have uWu in >_> head :3 that xDD wiww to uWu hand, 
>_< Which ^w^ must be OwO acted ere ;;w;; they OwO may be scann'd. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. >_> You ^.^ wack x3 the >_< season of aww natures, OwO sweep. 
OwO MACBETH. ^.^ Come, we'll to OwO sweep. OwO My ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ and :33 sewf-abuse 
Is x3 the initiate feaw :3 that wants x3 hawd ÚwÚ use. 
We OwO awe yet >_> but xDD young uWu in UwU deed. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE V. 
^-^ A ;;w;; heath. Thunder. 

Entew x3 the >w< thwee Witches, meeting ;;w;; Hecate. 

uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. Why, >w< how now, ^-^ Hecate? >_> You wook angewwy. 
HECATE. :3 Have UwU I nyot weason, beldams >_< as xDD you awe, 
OwO Saucy ÚwÚ and overbold? How uWu did xDD you dawe 
;;w;; To OwO twade ÚwÚ and UwU twaffic with ^.^ Macbeth 
^w^ In x3 widdwes ÚwÚ and affairs of UwU death, 
xDD And I, x3 the mistwess of x3 youw ÚwÚ chawms, 
uWu The ^-^ cwose contriver of aww >_< hawms, 
Was >_< nyevew ^w^ caww'd to UwU beaw x3 my >_> pawt, 
:33 Ow x3 show x3 the :3 gwowy of UwU ouw awt? 
^.^ And, which >_> is ^-^ wowse, aww xDD you uWu have donye 
>_< Hath :33 been >_> but fow :3 a :33 waywawd x3 son, 
Spitefuw ÚwÚ and wwathfuw, who, >_< as ;;w;; othews UwU do, 
UwU Wuvs fow :33 his UwU own >w< ends, nyot fow OwO you. 
OwO But >_< make x3 amends now. >_< Get xDD you >w< gonye, 
xDD And uWu at x3 the pit of ^.^ Achewon 
^w^ Meet ;;w;; me :33 i' x3 the xDD mownying. Thither ^.^ he 
Will come to ^.^ knyow :33 his >_> destiny. 
uWu Youw vessews ÚwÚ and x3 youw spewws >_< pwovide, 
uWu Youw chawms ÚwÚ and evewything >_< beside. 
UwU I ^w^ am fow x3 the air; ÚwÚ this >w< nyight I'll spend 
uWu Unto :3 a ÚwÚ dismaw ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu fataw OwO end. 
UwU Gweat business ^w^ must be ;;w;; wwought ere uWu nyoon: 
>_> Upon x3 the ^-^ cownyew of x3 the ;;w;; moon 
>_> Thewe uWu hangs :3 a >w< vapowous >_< dwop >w< pwofound; 
I'll catch >w< it ere >w< it come to :33 gwound. 
xDD And :3 that uWu distiww'd ^.^ by >w< magic sweights 
Shall >w< waise xDD such :33 awtificiaw OwO spwites 
;;w;; As ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ stwength of uWu theiw xDD iwwusion 
Shall dwaw ^.^ him on to :33 his uWu confusion. 
>w< He UwU shaww :33 spuwn fate, ^w^ scown UwU death, ÚwÚ and UwU beaw 
ÚwÚ His hopes xDD 'buv wisdom, gwace, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; feaw. 
xDD And xDD you aww ^.^ knyow UwU secuwity 
Is mortals' ^.^ chiefest enemy. 
Music ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ song :33 within, 
"Come away, come ^-^ away." 
:33 Hawk! UwU I ^w^ am caww'd; x3 my xDD wittwe ^-^ spiwit, see, 
x3 Sits uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ foggy ;;w;; cwoud ÚwÚ and uWu stays fow x3 me. ÚwÚ Exit. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's >_< make haste; ^.^ she'ww >w< soon be back ;;w;; again. 
:33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
:33 Fowwes. uWu The palace. 

Entew ^w^ Wennyox ÚwÚ and anyothew Lord. 

WENNyOX. OwO My xDD fowmew uWu speeches uWu have >_> but ;;w;; hit x3 youw thoughts, 
>_< Which ^.^ can UwU intewpwet ^.^ fawthew; >w< onwy UwU I >_> say 
>w< Thing's uWu have :33 been OwO stwangewy >w< bownye. uWu The >_> gwacious >_> Duncan 
Was uWu pitied of >_< Macbeth; marry, ^.^ he UwU was uWu dead. 
xDD And x3 the >w< wight uWu vawiant Banquo wawk'd ^w^ too late, 
UwU Whom, xDD you OwO may say, if't uWu pwease UwU you, Fweance ^.^ kiww'd, 
For Fweance OwO fwed. OwO Men ^w^ must nyot UwU wawk ^w^ too UwU wate. 
Who ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ want x3 the ^-^ thought, >w< how monstwous 
^.^ It UwU was fow xDD Mawcowm ÚwÚ and fow Donalbain 
;;w;; To OwO kiww uWu theiw >_> gwacious father? Damned fact! 
How >w< it uWu did UwU gwieve ^-^ Macbeth! Did ^.^ he nyot stwaight, 
^w^ In :33 pious rage, x3 the >w< two ÚwÚ dewinquents teaw 
:33 That :3 wewe x3 the xDD swaves of ÚwÚ dwink ÚwÚ and thralls of ^w^ sweep? 
Was nyot :3 that ;;w;; nyobwy done? Ay, ÚwÚ and wisely :3 too, 
For ^w^ 'twouwd uWu have x3 angew'd xDD any >_< heawt ^.^ awive 
;;w;; To hear x3 the ;;w;; men >_< deny't. ^w^ So :3 that, UwU I say, 
>w< He >_> has :3 bownye aww ^.^ things well; ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU do think 
^.^ That, xDD had ^.^ he :33 Duncan's xDD sons :33 undew :33 his key- 
As, UwU an't uWu pwease ^.^ heaven, ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot ;;w;; -they >_> shouwd find 
>_> What >w< 'twewe to OwO kiww :3 a father; UwU so >_> shouwd Fleance. 
But, peace! For from >_< bwoad wowds, ÚwÚ and 'cause ^.^ he ;;w;; faiw'd 
ÚwÚ His x3 pwesence uWu at x3 the x3 tywant's OwO feast, UwU I heaw, 
>_< Macduff ;;w;; wives uWu in UwU disgwace. UwU Siw, ^.^ can xDD you tell 
Whewe ^.^ he OwO bestows :33 himsewf? 
WOWD. uWu The >_< son of xDD Duncan, 
Fwom ÚwÚ whom ÚwÚ this tyrant ÚwÚ howds x3 the >_< due of birth, 
Wives uWu in x3 the :3 Engwish court ÚwÚ and >_> is uWu weceived 
Of x3 the UwU most :33 pious Edward with xDD such xDD gwace 
:33 That x3 the malevolence of :3 fowtunye >_< nyothing 
Takes from :33 his xDD high wespect. Thither >_< Macduff 
Is >_> gonye to pray x3 the >w< howy OwO King, ;;w;; upon :33 his >_> aid 
;;w;; To wake ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand ÚwÚ and warlike >_< Siwawd; 
:33 That ^.^ by x3 the OwO hewp of OwO these, with xDD Him :33 abuv 
;;w;; To ^-^ watify x3 the work, ^.^ we OwO may again 
Give to UwU ouw :33 tabwes meat, :33 sweep to UwU ouw nyights, 
Fwee from UwU ouw feasts ÚwÚ and xDD banquets bwoody knives, 
Do faithfuw ^w^ homage, ÚwÚ and receive fwee honyows- 
All which ^.^ we pine fow now. xDD And ÚwÚ this wepowt 
>_< Hath UwU so ^.^ exaspewate x3 the ^w^ King :3 that ^.^ he 
>_< Pwepawes fow x3 some x3 attempt of waw. 
WENNyOX. :3 Sent ^.^ he to Macduff? 
WOWD. >w< He ^-^ did, ÚwÚ and with >w< an ^w^ absowute >_> "Siw, nyot ÚwÚ I," 
uWu The cwoudy :3 messengew tuwns ;;w;; me :33 his back, 
xDD And UwU hums, >_< as who >_> shouwd say, "You'll rue x3 the time 
:33 That clogs ;;w;; me with ÚwÚ this answer." 
WENNyOX. xDD And :3 that weww ^w^ might 
Advise ^.^ him to :3 a ^.^ caution, to howd >_> what ^w^ distance 
ÚwÚ His ^.^ wisdom ^.^ can pwovide. ;;w;; Some >w< howy ÚwÚ angew 
xDD Fwy to x3 the court of England ÚwÚ and ^w^ unfowd 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ message ere ^.^ he come, :3 that :3 a UwU swift >_> bwessing 
^-^ May >w< soon ^-^ wetuwn to ÚwÚ this UwU ouw suffering countwy 
;;w;; Undew :3 a uWu hand xDD accuwsed! 
WOWD. I'll >_> send x3 my >_< pwayews with ^.^ him. 
:33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^-^ A UwU cavewn. ^w^ In x3 the >_< middwe, :3 a boiling ^w^ cauwdwon. Thunder. 

Entew x3 the >w< thwee ^-^ Witches. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. uWu Thwice x3 the :33 bwinded :33 cat hath >_> mew'd. 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. uWu Thwice ÚwÚ and >_> once x3 the hedge-pig >_> whinyed. 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. Hawpiew cries, xDD "'Tis time, UwU 'tis >_< time." 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. Round about x3 the :33 cauwdwon go; 
^w^ In x3 the OwO poison'd entwaiws throw. 
^w^ Toad, :3 that :33 undew UwU cowd stone 
uWu Days ÚwÚ and :33 nyights >_> has ;;w;; thiwty-onye 
;;w;; Swewtew'd ;;w;; venyom x3 sweeping OwO got, 
OwO Boiw xDD thou xDD fiwst :33 i' x3 the OwO chawmed xDD pot. 
uWu AWW. :33 Doubwe, double, toiw ÚwÚ and ^w^ twoubwe; 
xDD Fiwe buwn ÚwÚ and :33 cauwdwon bubbwe. 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. Fillet of :3 a xDD fenny snake, 
^w^ In x3 the :33 cauwdwon >_> boiw ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bake; 
^.^ Eye of newt ÚwÚ and toe of ^-^ fwog, 
Woow of ;;w;; bat ÚwÚ and >_> tongue of dog, 
x3 Addew's ^w^ fowk ÚwÚ and >w< bwind-wowm's sting, 
Wizawd's >_< weg ÚwÚ and howwet's *hugs tightly* wing, 
For :3 a >_> chawm of powerful twoubwe, 
Wike :3 a >_> heww-bwoth >_> boiw ÚwÚ and bubbwe. 
uWu AWW. :33 Doubwe, double, toiw ÚwÚ and ^w^ twoubwe; 
xDD Fiwe buwn ÚwÚ and :33 cauwdwon bubbwe. 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. OwO Scawe of ^-^ dwagon, ^.^ tooth of OwO wowf, 
>w< Witch's :3 mummy, >_> maw ÚwÚ and ^w^ guwf 
Of x3 the wavin'd salt-sea OwO shawk, 
ÚwÚ Woot of >_< hemwock xDD digg'd :33 i' x3 the >_> dawk, 
Liver of :3 bwaspheming x3 Jew, 
UwU Gaww of :33 goat ÚwÚ and slips of >_< yew 
>_> Swivew'd uWu in x3 the x3 moon's eclipse, 
Nose of ^w^ Tuwk ÚwÚ and Tawtaw's :3 wips, 
Finger of ^-^ biwth-stwangwed >w< babe 
^.^ Ditch-dewivew'd ^.^ by :3 a ;;w;; dwab, 
^-^ Make x3 the gwuew thick ÚwÚ and ^.^ swab. 
;;w;; Add thereto :3 a ;;w;; tigew's UwU chawdwon, 
For x3 the :3 ingwedients of UwU ouw ÚwÚ cawdwon. 
uWu AWW. :33 Doubwe, double, toiw ÚwÚ and ^w^ twoubwe; 
xDD Fiwe buwn ÚwÚ and :33 cauwdwon bubbwe. 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. Coow >w< it with :3 a >w< baboon's bwood, 
UwU Then x3 the >_> chawm >_> is >w< fiwm ÚwÚ and UwU good. 

Entew ^.^ Hecate to x3 the othew >w< thwee ^-^ Witches. 

HECATE. >_< O, weww uWu donye! UwU I ÚwÚ commend x3 youw pains, 
xDD And UwU evewyonye UwU shaww share :33 i' x3 the gains. 
xDD And nyow about x3 the :33 cauwdwon ^w^ sing, 
Wike OwO ewves ÚwÚ and ^-^ faiwies uWu in :3 a *hugs tightly* wing, 
UwU Enchanting aww :3 that xDD you put ^.^ in. 
Music ÚwÚ and :3 a song, "Black >_> spiwits." 
^.^ Hecate ^-^ wetiwes. 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. ^-^ By x3 the pricking of x3 my thumbs, 
xDD Something wicked ÚwÚ this uWu way ^w^ comes. 
:33 Open, locks, 
ÚwÚ Whoevew knyocks! 

Entew OwO Macbeth. 

OwO MACBETH. How now, xDD you secret, black, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; midnyight :3 hags? 
>_> What :3 is't xDD you ^-^ do? 
uWu AWW. ^-^ A ^.^ deed ^-^ without :3 a nyame. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I x3 conjuwe UwU you, ^.^ by :3 that which xDD you pwofess 
(Howeew xDD you come to ^.^ knyow it) answew ;;w;; me: 
;;w;; Though xDD you OwO untie x3 the >_< winds ÚwÚ and wet them >w< fight 
^w^ Against x3 the chuwches, ^w^ though x3 the ÚwÚ yesty ;;w;; waves 
Confound ÚwÚ and swawwow :33 nyavigation up, 
;;w;; Though bwaded corn be wodged ÚwÚ and trees >_> bwown ;;w;; down, 
;;w;; Though ^.^ castwes >w< toppwe on uWu theiw wawdews' >_< heads, 
;;w;; Though pawaces ÚwÚ and pyramids UwU do swope 
^-^ Theiw heads to uWu theiw foundations, ^w^ though x3 the treasure 
Of ;;w;; nyatuwe's ^-^ gewmainyes tumble aww togethew 
Even >w< tiww >w< destwuction OwO sicken, answew ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To >_> what UwU I ^w^ ask OwO you. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. :33 Speak. 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. uWu Demand. 
^w^ THIWD xDD WITCH. ^-^ We'ww answer. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. Say, >_> if ÚwÚ thou'dst rather hear >w< it from UwU ouw ^w^ mouths, 
:33 Ow from UwU ouw masters'? 
OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; Caww 'em, wet ;;w;; me >_> see ^.^ 'em. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. Pour uWu in x3 sow's :3 bwood :3 that hath eaten 
:3 Hew >w< nyinye ÚwÚ fawwow; OwO gwease ^w^ that's x3 sweaten 
Fwom x3 the murtherer's x3 gibbet ^-^ thwow 
^.^ Into x3 the >w< fwame. 
uWu AWW. ^.^ Come, xDD high ow ^w^ wow; 
^.^ Thysewf ÚwÚ and ^.^ office x3 deftwy ÚwÚ show! 

Thunder. First Apparition: >w< an :3 awmed OwO Head. 

OwO MACBETH. Teww uWu me, xDD thou unknown powew- 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. >w< He xDD knyows >w< thy thought: 
>w< Heaw :33 his ;;w;; speech, >_> but >_> say xDD thou nought. 
uWu FIWST APPAWITION. ^-^ Macbeth! ^-^ Macbeth! ^-^ Macbeth! ;;w;; Bewawe ^w^ Macduff, 
;;w;; Bewawe x3 the Thane of >_< Fife. >_< Dismiss x3 me. Enough. 
Descends. 
OwO MACBETH. ÚwÚ Whate'ew xDD thou awt, fow >w< thy ÚwÚ good ^.^ caution, ^w^ thanks; 
^.^ Thou x3 hast harp'd x3 my feaw aright. OwO But one ;;w;; wowd more- 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. >w< He xDD wiww nyot be commanded. >_> Hewe's another, 
uWu Mowe x3 potent than x3 the fiwst. 

Thunder. ^w^ Second Apparition: :3 a bwoody Child. 

^w^ SECOND APPAWITION. ^-^ Macbeth! ^-^ Macbeth! ^-^ Macbeth! 
OwO MACBETH. xDD Had UwU I >w< thwee ;;w;; eaws, ;;w;; I'd hear thee. 
^w^ SECOND APPAWITION. ^w^ Be x3 bwoody, >w< bowd, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wesowute: laugh to ^w^ scown 
uWu The powew of ^w^ man, fow >_< nyonye of OwO woman bown 
Shall x3 hawm OwO Macbeth. Descends. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU Then x3 wive, ^w^ Macduff. >_> What >_< nyeed UwU I feaw of thee? 
OwO But yet I'll >_< make assurance :3 doubwe x3 suwe, 
xDD And OwO take :3 a :3 bond of fate: xDD thou shalt nyot x3 wive, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may tell pawe-heawted feaw >w< it lies, 
xDD And :33 sweep uWu in x3 spite of thunder. 

Thunder. uWu Thiwd Apparition: :3 a uWu Chiwd >w< cwownyed, 
with :3 a twee uWu in :33 his >w< hand. 

>_> What >_> is uWu this, 
:33 That wises ^.^ wike x3 the x3 issue of :3 a OwO king, 
xDD And ^-^ weaws ;;w;; upon :33 his baby ^w^ bwow x3 the ;;w;; wound 
xDD And ;;w;; top of suvweignty? 
uWu AWW. uWu Wisten, >_> but speak nyot to't. 
^w^ THIWD APPAWITION. ^w^ Be lion-mettled, :3 pwoud, ÚwÚ and OwO take nyo :3 cawe 
Who chafes, who frets, ow :3 whewe uWu conspiwews x3 awe. 
^.^ Macbeth UwU shaww >_< nyevew >_< vanquish'd be ÚwÚ untiw 
UwU Gweat Birnam OwO Wood to xDD high Dunsinane x3 Hiww 
Shall come OwO against ^.^ him. Descends. 
OwO MACBETH. :33 That xDD wiww >_< nyevew >w< be. 
Who ^.^ can ^.^ impwess x3 the uWu fowest, bid x3 the twee 
Unfix :33 his earth-bound ^w^ woot? ÚwÚ Sweet ^-^ bodements, >w< good! 
:33 Webewwion's head, rise >_< nyevew >w< tiww x3 the OwO Wood 
Of Birnam >_< wise, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw >_< high-pwaced ^.^ Macbeth 
Shall ^w^ wive x3 the lease of nyatuwe, x3 pay :33 his UwU bweath 
;;w;; To time ÚwÚ and >w< mowtaw custom. ÚwÚ Yet x3 my >_< heawt 
^w^ Thwobs to ^.^ knyow one thing: tell uWu me, >_> if x3 youw awt 
UwU Can tell UwU so ÚwÚ much, UwU shaww Banquo's x3 issue OwO evew 
^.^ Weign uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 kingdom? 
uWu AWW. ;;w;; Seek to ^.^ knyow nyo more. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I xDD wiww be ÚwÚ satisfied! >w< Deny ;;w;; me uWu this, 
xDD And >w< an xDD etewnyaw UwU cuwse faww on you! Let ;;w;; me :33 knyow. 
Why uWu sinks :3 that :3 cauwdwon, ÚwÚ and >_> what noise >_> is :3 this? 
:3 Hautboys. 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. ^-^ Show! 
^w^ SECOND xDD WITCH. ^-^ Show! 
THIWD. xDD WITCH. ^-^ Show! 
uWu AWW. uWu Show :33 his ^w^ eyes, ÚwÚ and UwU gwieve :33 his heawt; 
:3 Come ^.^ wike xDD shadows, UwU so uWu depawt! 

^-^ A x3 show of eight xDD Kings, x3 the >w< wast with :3 a gwass uWu in :33 his xDD hand; 
Banquo's >_< Ghost x3 fowwowing. 

OwO MACBETH. ^.^ Thou OwO awe ^w^ too ^.^ wike x3 the ^w^ spiwit of Banquo UwU Down! 
x3 Thy >_< cwown does UwU seaw >_< minye eyeballs. xDD And >w< thy hair, 
^.^ Thou othew gold-bound >_> bwow, >_> is ^.^ wike x3 the fiwst. 
^-^ A thiwd >_> is ^.^ wike x3 the former. ÚwÚ Fiwthy >_> hags! 
Why UwU do xDD you x3 show ;;w;; me :3 this? ^-^ A fourth! uWu Stawt, xDD eyes! 
What, xDD wiww x3 the winye stretch x3 out to x3 the UwU cwack of >_> doom? 
ÚwÚ Anyothew UwU yet! ^-^ A :33 seventh! I'll >_> see nyo uWu mowe! 
xDD And yet x3 the ÚwÚ eighth appeaws, who bears :3 a gwass 
>_< Which >_< shows ;;w;; me UwU many mowe; ÚwÚ and x3 some UwU I >_> see 
:33 That twofold uWu bawws ÚwÚ and >w< twebwe sceptres :33 cawwy. 
Howwibwe ;;w;; sight! Now UwU I >_> see UwU 'tis true; 
For x3 the blood-bolter'd Banquo ^-^ smiwes ;;w;; upon uWu me, 
xDD And x3 points uWu at them fow ÚwÚ his. What, >_> is ÚwÚ this so? 
uWu FIWST xDD WITCH. Ay, ^w^ siw, aww ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 so. OwO But >w< why 
Stands ^.^ Macbeth OwO thus ÚwÚ amazedwy? 
Come,sistews, cheer ^.^ we x3 up :33 his ^w^ spwites, 
xDD And x3 show x3 the best of UwU ouw ;;w;; dewights. 
I'll >_> chawm x3 the ^w^ aiw to UwU give :3 a sound, 
While xDD you x3 pewfowm x3 youw ^.^ antic ^-^ wound, 
:33 That ÚwÚ this great ^w^ King OwO may ^-^ kindwy >_> say 
Our >_> duties uWu did :33 his wewcome :3 pay. 
:3 Music. uWu The Witches UwU dance ÚwÚ and 
xDD then :3 vanyish with ;;w;; Hecate. 
OwO MACBETH. OwO awe >w< they? Gone? Let ÚwÚ this pewnyicious >_> houw 
;;w;; Stand uWu ay ^w^ accuwsed uWu in x3 the ^.^ cawendaw! 
:3 Come x3 in, ^-^ without thewe! 

Entew Wennyox. 

WENNyOX. x3 What's x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's xDD wiww? 
OwO MACBETH. ^.^ Saw xDD you x3 the uWu weiwd sistews? 
WENNyOX. :3 Nyo, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< Came ;;w;; they nyot ^.^ by you? 
WENNyOX. No :33 indeed, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO MACBETH. x3 Infected be x3 the 'air wheweon ;;w;; they ride, 
xDD And damn'd aww UwU those :3 that :33 twust >w< them! UwU I uWu did hear 
uWu The OwO gawwoping of horse. Who >w< wast ^-^ came by? 
WENNyOX. 'Tis >w< two ow >_< thwee, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that ;;w;; bwing xDD you ;;w;; wowd 
>_< Macduff >_> is ^w^ fwed to ^w^ Engwand. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< Fwed to Engwand? 
WENNyOX. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
OwO MACBETH. >_< [Aside.] Time, xDD thou ;;w;; anticipatest x3 my xDD dwead :33 expwoits. 
uWu The fwighty OwO puwpose >_< nyevew >_> is ^w^ o'ewtook 
OwO Unwess x3 the ^.^ deed OwO go with :3 it. Fwom ÚwÚ this x3 moment 
uWu The xDD vewy >w< fiwstwings of x3 my >_< heawt UwU shaww be 
uWu The >w< fiwstwings of x3 my >w< hand. xDD And even now, 
;;w;; To >_< cwown x3 my >_< thoughts with ;;w;; acts, be >w< it xDD thought ÚwÚ and UwU donye: 
uWu The ^w^ castwe of >_< Macduff UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; suwpwise, 
>_> Seize ;;w;; upon x3 Fife, UwU give to x3 the UwU edge ^.^ o' x3 the xDD swowd 
ÚwÚ His :3 wife, :33 his uWu babes, ÚwÚ and aww :33 unfowtunyate >w< souws 
:33 That trace ^.^ him uWu in :33 his ^.^ winye. No >_< boasting ^.^ wike :3 a foow; 
This ^.^ deed I'll UwU do >w< befowe ÚwÚ this OwO puwpose ^.^ coow. 
OwO But nyo ^.^ mowe >_> sights! -Where OwO awe these :33 gentwemen? 
^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me :3 whewe ;;w;; they x3 awe. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
>_< Fife. Macduff's >w< castwe. 

Entew xDD Wady ^w^ Macduff, her UwU Son, ÚwÚ and Ross. 

:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. >_> What xDD had ^.^ he :33 donye, to >_< make ^.^ him fwy x3 the xDD wand? 
:3 WOSS. >_> You ^w^ must uWu have patience, UwU madam. 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. >w< He xDD had x3 nyonye; 
ÚwÚ His :33 fwight UwU was >w< madnyess. x3 When UwU ouw ;;w;; actions UwU do >_> nyot, 
Our OwO feaws UwU do >_< make >_> us twaitows. 
:3 WOSS. >_> You ^.^ knyow nyot 
Whethew >w< it UwU was :33 his ^.^ wisdom ow :33 his ;;w;; feaw. 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. Wisdom? ;;w;; To OwO weave :33 his :3 wife, to OwO weave :33 his uWu babes, 
ÚwÚ His mansion, ÚwÚ and :33 his >_> titwes, uWu in :3 a :33 pwace 
Fwom >_> whence >_< himsewf does >w< fwy? >w< He loves >_> us x3 nyot; 
>w< He wants x3 the natural >w< touch; fow x3 the poor wwen, 
uWu The UwU most >w< diminyutive of :33 biwds, xDD wiww x3 fight, 
:3 Hew xDD young ^-^ onyes uWu in her nest, OwO against x3 the x3 oww. 
All >_> is x3 the feaw ÚwÚ and >_< nyothing >_> is x3 the love; 
;;w;; As xDD wittwe >_> is x3 the wisdom, :3 whewe x3 the :33 fwight 
^w^ So wuns OwO against aww reason. 
:3 WOSS. OwO My deawest x3 coz, 
UwU I pray UwU you, OwO schoow OwO youwsewf. OwO But fow x3 youw ^.^ husband, 
>w< He >_> is noble, >_< wise, ÚwÚ Judicious, ÚwÚ and best xDD knyows 
uWu The ^w^ fits ^.^ o' x3 the ^.^ season. UwU I dawe nyot speak much >w< fuwthew; 
OwO But UwU cwuew OwO awe x3 the times when ^.^ we OwO awe traitors 
xDD And UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow ouwsewves; when ^.^ we howd wumow 
Fwom >_> what ^.^ we ;;w;; feaw, yet ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what ^.^ we ;;w;; feaw, 
OwO But UwU fwoat ;;w;; upon :3 a >w< wiwd ÚwÚ and :3 viowent sea 
x3 Each uWu way ÚwÚ and ;;w;; muv. UwU I OwO take x3 my OwO weave of uWu you; 
Shall nyot be ^-^ wong >_> but I'll be OwO hewe ;;w;; again. 
^w^ Things uWu at x3 the worst xDD wiww xDD cease ow >_> ewse x3 cwimb upward 
;;w;; To >_> what ;;w;; they :3 wewe befowe. OwO My OwO pwetty OwO cousin, 
Blessing ;;w;; upon you! 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. >w< Fathew'd ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and yet uWu he's fatherless. 
:3 WOSS. UwU I ^w^ am UwU so much :3 a x3 foow, >_> shouwd UwU I xDD stay wongew, 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd be x3 my xDD disgwace ÚwÚ and x3 youw :33 discomfowt. 
UwU I OwO take x3 my OwO weave uWu at OwO once. ÚwÚ Exit. 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. Siwwah, x3 youw father's uWu dead. 
xDD And >_> what xDD wiww xDD you UwU do ^.^ nyow? How xDD wiww xDD you >_> wive? 
>_> SON. ;;w;; As xDD biwds UwU do, Mother. 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. What, with wowms ÚwÚ and :33 fwies? 
>_> SON. With >_> what UwU I ÚwÚ get, UwU I OwO mean; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU do OwO they. 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. OwO Poow biwd! Thou'wdst >_< nyevew feaw x3 the ^w^ nyet nor wime, 
uWu The pitfall nor x3 the gin. 
>_> SON. Why >_> shouwd I, ^.^ Mothew? OwO Poow xDD biwds ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot uWu set ;;w;; fow. 
OwO My >w< fathew >_> is nyot >_< dead, fow aww x3 youw saying. 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. Yes, ^.^ he >_> is uWu dead. How wiwt xDD thou UwU do fow father? 
>_> SON. Nyay, >w< how xDD wiww xDD you UwU do fow :3 a OwO husband? 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. Why, UwU I ^.^ can UwU buy ;;w;; me ÚwÚ twenty uWu at xDD any market. 
>_> SON. UwU Then you'ww UwU buy x3 'em to ;;w;; seww ;;w;; again. 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; speak'st with aww >w< thy ^w^ wit, ÚwÚ and ^w^ yet, :33 i' ^w^ faith, 
With wit enough fow thee. 
>_> SON. Was x3 my >w< fathew :3 a traitor, ^.^ Mothew? 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. Ay, :3 that ^.^ he uWu was. 
>_> SON. >_> What >_> is :3 a traitor? 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. Why one :3 that ÚwÚ sweaws ÚwÚ and uWu wies. 
>_> SON. xDD And be aww traitors :3 that UwU do so? 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. >w< Evewyonye :3 that does UwU so >_> is :3 a traitor ÚwÚ and ^w^ must be 
>_> hanged. 
>_> SON. xDD And ^w^ must ;;w;; they aww be hanged :3 that >_< sweaw ÚwÚ and wie? 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. Evewyonye. 
>_> SON. Who ^w^ must ^w^ hang them? 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. Why, x3 the xDD honyest ^.^ men. 
>_> SON. UwU Then x3 the ;;w;; wiaws ÚwÚ and >w< sweawews OwO awe :3 foows, fow there OwO awe ;;w;; wiaws ÚwÚ and 
>w< sweawews ^w^ enyow to xDD beat x3 the xDD honyest ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and ^w^ hang x3 up OwO them. 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. >_> Nyow, ^w^ God OwO hewp ÚwÚ thee, poor monkey! OwO But >w< how wiwt xDD thou UwU do 
fow :3 a father? 
>_> SON. ;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 wewe >_< dead, ÚwÚ you'wd xDD weep fow him; >_> if xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, >w< it 
:3 wewe :3 a ÚwÚ good xDD sign :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd quickly uWu have :3 a x3 nyew :33 fathew. 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. OwO Poow prattler, >w< how xDD thou >_> tawk'st! 

Entew :3 a Messengew. 

x3 MESSENGEW. :3 Bwess UwU you, >w< faiw ^-^ dame! UwU I ^w^ am nyot to xDD you ^-^ knyown, 
;;w;; Though uWu in x3 youw >w< state of honyow UwU I ^w^ am perfect. 
UwU I doubt x3 some danger does appwoach xDD you >_< nyeawwy. 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww OwO take :3 a homewy :33 man's x3 advice, 
^w^ Be nyot >_> found ^.^ hewe; hence, with x3 youw xDD wittwe ÚwÚ onyes. 
;;w;; To :33 fwight xDD you thus, uWu methinks UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too savage; 
;;w;; To UwU do xDD wowse to xDD you :3 wewe UwU feww cwuewty, 
>_< Which >_> is ^w^ too ^.^ nyigh x3 youw person. uWu Heaven pwesewve you! 
UwU I dawe abide nyo wongew. ÚwÚ Exit. 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. x3 Whithew >_> shouwd UwU I >w< fwy? 
UwU I uWu have donye nyo harm. OwO But UwU I remember nyow 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ eawthwy ^w^ wowwd, :3 whewe to UwU do x3 hawm 
Is often UwU waudabwe, to UwU do ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ sometime 
Accounted uWu dangewous ^w^ fowwy. Why >w< then, :3 awas, 
Do UwU I put x3 up :3 that ;;w;; womanwy >_> defense, 
;;w;; To >_> say UwU I uWu have donye nyo x3 hawm ÚwÚ -What OwO awe these ^.^ faces? 

Entew >_> Muwthewews. 

uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. Whewe >_> is x3 youw OwO husband? 
:3 WADY :3 MACDUFF. UwU I hope, uWu in nyo :33 pwace UwU so xDD unsanctified 
Whewe xDD such >_< as xDD thou uWu mayst find ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. He's :3 a traitor. 
>_> SON. ^.^ Thou liest, xDD thou shag-ear'd :33 viwwain! 
uWu FIWST MUWTHEWEW. What, xDD you uWu egg! 
UwU Stabs ^.^ him. 
Young fwy of >w< tweachewy! 
>_> SON. >w< He >_> has kill'd uWu me, Mother. 
OwO Wun away, UwU I pray you! >_< Dies. 
uWu Exit xDD Wady ^w^ Macduff, :3 cwying "Murther!" 
Exeunt Murtherers, fowwowing her. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^w^ Engwand. ^.^ Befowe x3 the >_< King's palace. 

Entew xDD Mawcowm ÚwÚ and ^w^ Macduff. 

MAWCOWM. Let >_> us >_> seek x3 out x3 some desolate shade ÚwÚ and there 
UwU Weep UwU ouw >_> sad >_> bosoms >_< empty. 
:3 MACDUFF. Let >_> us rather 
:33 Howd ÚwÚ fast x3 the >w< mowtaw uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike ÚwÚ good ;;w;; men 
ÚwÚ Bestwide UwU ouw ^.^ downfaww'n birthdom. x3 Each x3 nyew ;;w;; mown 
xDD Nyew widows ^.^ howw, x3 nyew owphans ^-^ cwy, x3 nyew ^w^ sowwows 
OwO Stwike heaven on x3 the >w< face, :3 that >w< it ^w^ wesounds 
;;w;; As >_> if >w< it UwU fewt with :3 Scotwand ÚwÚ and yell'd x3 out 
Wike syllable of >_< dowow. 
MAWCOWM. >_> What UwU I :33 bewieve, I'll waww; 
>_> What knyow, >w< bewieve; ÚwÚ and >_> what UwU I ^.^ can :33 wedwess, 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU shaww find x3 the time to fwiend, UwU I :33 wiww. 
>_> What xDD you uWu have ;;w;; spoke, >w< it OwO may be UwU so >_> pewchance. 
This ^w^ tywant, x3 whose sole xDD nyame blisters UwU ouw tongues, 
Was >_> once xDD thought honest. >_> You uWu have xDD wuvd ^.^ him well; 
>w< He hath nyot touch'd xDD you >_> yet. UwU I ^w^ am >_> young, >_> but ^-^ something 
>_> You OwO may OwO desewve of ^.^ him ^w^ thwough uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wisdom 
;;w;; To offer x3 up :3 a ÚwÚ weak, OwO poow, innocent :3 wamb 
;;w;; To appease >w< an angry god. 
:3 MACDUFF. UwU I ^w^ am nyot treacherous. 
MAWCOWM. OwO But ^.^ Macbeth >w< is. 
^-^ A ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and virtuous ÚwÚ nyatuwe OwO may wecoiw 
^w^ In >w< an ÚwÚ impewiaw chawge. OwO But UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ cwave x3 youw ;;w;; pawdon; 
:33 That which xDD you awe, x3 my >_< thoughts ;;w;; cannyot transpose. 
Angews OwO awe uWu bwight still, ^w^ though x3 the >_< bwightest x3 feww. 
;;w;; Though aww ^.^ things fouw ^.^ wouwd ^-^ weaw x3 the ^w^ bwows of gwace, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD gwace ^w^ must still wook :3 so. 
:3 MACDUFF. UwU I uWu have wost x3 my :33 hopes. 
MAWCOWM. Pewchance even there :3 whewe UwU I uWu did find x3 my >_> doubts. 
Why uWu in :3 that OwO wawnyess left xDD you >w< wife ÚwÚ and child, 
>w< Those >_< pwecious >_> motives, UwU those >w< stwong OwO knyots of xDD wuv, 
Without ^.^ weave-taking? UwU I pray UwU you, 
Let nyot x3 my jeawousies be x3 youw ^.^ dishonyows, 
OwO But >_< minye UwU own ^-^ safeties. >_> You OwO may be rightly >_< just, 
Whatevew UwU I UwU shaww UwU think. 
:3 MACDUFF. >_< Bweed, bleed, poor :33 countwy! 
UwU Gweat tywanny, uWu way xDD thou >w< thy >_< basis x3 suwe, 
For xDD goodnyess dawe nyot ^.^ check thee. :3 Weaw xDD thou >w< thy wwongs; 
uWu The ;;w;; titwe >_> is affeer'd. >w< Fawe uWu thee weww, OwO wowd. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be x3 the viwwain :3 that xDD thou think'st 
For x3 the whole xDD space ^w^ that's uWu in x3 the x3 tywant's ÚwÚ gwasp 
xDD And x3 the rich East to >w< boot. 
MAWCOWM. ^w^ Be nyot UwU offended; 
UwU I speak nyot >_< as uWu in ^w^ absowute feaw of OwO you. 
UwU I think UwU ouw countwy uWu sinks >_< benyeath x3 the >w< yoke; 
^.^ It uWu weeps, >w< it >_> bweeds, ÚwÚ and >_< each x3 nyew day :3 a gash 
Is >_< added to her wounds. UwU I think withal 
>_> Thewe ^.^ wouwd be ^.^ hands uplifted uWu in x3 my right; 
xDD And OwO hewe from >_> gwacious England uWu have UwU I offer 
Of xDD goodwy :33 thousands. OwO But fow aww uWu this, 
x3 When UwU I UwU shaww ;;w;; twead ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 tywant's head, 
:33 Ow ^-^ weaw >w< it on x3 my uWu swowd, yet x3 my poor countwy 
Shall uWu have ^.^ mowe OwO vices than >w< it xDD had x3 befowe, 
uWu Mowe suffew ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe UwU sundwy ways than ever, 
^-^ By ^.^ him :3 that UwU shaww UwU succeed. 
:3 MACDUFF. >_> What >_> shouwd ^.^ he :3 be? 
MAWCOWM. ^.^ It >_> is mysewf UwU I mean, uWu in ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^.^ knyow 
All x3 the pawticuwaws of :33 vice UwU so uWu gwafted 
^.^ That, when ;;w;; they UwU shaww be x3 open'd, black ^.^ Macbeth 
Will xDD seem >_< as puwe >_< as ;;w;; snyow, ÚwÚ and x3 the poor >w< state 
ÚwÚ Esteem ^.^ him >_< as :3 a lamb, ^.^ being compawed 
With x3 my xDD confinyewess >_> hawms. 
:3 MACDUFF. ÚwÚ Nyot uWu in x3 the legions 
Of >_> howwid heww ^.^ can come :3 a ^.^ deviw ^.^ mowe damn'd 
^w^ In ;;w;; eviws to ;;w;; top OwO Macbeth. 
MAWCOWM. UwU I gwant ^.^ him x3 bwoody, 
uWu Wuxuwious, avawicious, :3 fawse, >_> deceitfuw, 
Sudden, malicious, ^-^ smacking of every x3 sin 
:33 That >_> has :3 a nyame. OwO But there's nyo ^w^ bottom, nyonye, 
^w^ In x3 my UwU vowuptuousnyess. uWu Youw ^-^ wives, x3 youw ^w^ daughtews, 
uWu Youw matwons, ÚwÚ and x3 youw ^w^ maids couwd nyot ^w^ fiww x3 up 
uWu The cestewn of x3 my x3 wust, ÚwÚ and x3 my ^.^ desiwe 
All continyent impediments ^.^ wouwd o'erbear 
:33 That uWu did ;;w;; oppose x3 my :33 wiww. uWu Bettew ^.^ Macbeth 
Than xDD such >w< an one to reign. 
:3 MACDUFF. Boundwess :33 intempewance 
^w^ In ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is :3 a uWu tywanny; >w< it hath :33 been 
uWu The untimely ÚwÚ emptying of x3 the ^w^ happy throne, 
xDD And faww of UwU many OwO kings. OwO But feaw nyot yet 
;;w;; To OwO take ;;w;; upon xDD you >_> what >_> is x3 youws. >_> You OwO may 
^.^ Convey x3 youw >_< pweasuwes uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ spacious pwenty 
xDD And yet xDD seem >_< cowd, x3 the time xDD you OwO may UwU so >_> hoodwink. 
We uWu have ^.^ wiwwing ÚwÚ dames >_< enyough; there ;;w;; cannyot be 
:33 That vulture uWu in xDD you to devour UwU so UwU many 
;;w;; As xDD wiww to :33 gweatnyess dedicate ^.^ themsewves, 
Finding >w< it UwU so ^.^ incwinyed. 
MAWCOWM. With ÚwÚ this there gwows 
^w^ In x3 my UwU most xDD iww-composed :3 affection xDD such 
^-^ A ;;w;; stanchwess avarice :3 that, :3 wewe UwU I OwO King, 
UwU I >_> shouwd :3 cut x3 off x3 the nyobwes fow uWu theiw lands, 
Desire :33 his :3 jewews ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ;;w;; othew's house, 
xDD And x3 my more-having ^.^ wouwd be >_< as :3 a UwU sauce 
;;w;; To >_< make ;;w;; me :33 hungew >_> mowe, :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd forge 
Quawwews :33 unjust OwO against x3 the ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and uWu woyaw, 
Destroying them fow ;;w;; weawth. 
:3 MACDUFF. This avarice 
>_> Sticks deeper, gwows with ^.^ mowe pewnyicious ^.^ woot 
Than OwO summew-seeming x3 wust, ÚwÚ and >w< it hath :33 been 
uWu The xDD swowd of UwU ouw :3 swain OwO kings. ÚwÚ Yet UwU do nyot x3 feaw; 
:3 Scotwand hath foisons to ^w^ fiww x3 up x3 youw xDD wiww 
Of x3 youw mere own. All these OwO awe portable, 
With othew uWu gwaces weigh'd. 
MAWCOWM. OwO But UwU I uWu have none. uWu The >w< king-becoming graces, 
;;w;; As justice, verity, x3 tempewance, stableness, 
>_> Bounty, ^w^ pewsevewance, mercy, ^w^ wowwinyess, 
Devotion, patience, couwage, fowtitude, 
UwU I uWu have nyo wewish of ÚwÚ them, >_> but abound 
^w^ In x3 the OwO division of >_< each sevewaw >_< cwime, 
UwU Acting >w< it UwU many uWu ways. Nyay, xDD had UwU I x3 powew, UwU I >_> shouwd 
Pour x3 the x3 sweet milk of concowd x3 into >_> heww, 
x3 Upwoaw x3 the ^-^ unyivewsaw ÚwÚ peace, confound 
All unyity on ;;w;; eawth. 
:3 MACDUFF. x3 O :33 Scotwand, Scotland! 
MAWCOWM. ;;w;; If xDD such :3 a one be ;;w;; fit to govern, >_< speak. 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as UwU I uWu have >_> spoken. 
:3 MACDUFF. Fit to >w< guvwn? 
:3 Nyo, nyot to wive. x3 O nation OwO misewabwe! 
With >w< an uWu untitwed tyrant bwoody-sceptew'd, 
x3 When shalt xDD thou >_> see >w< thy whowesome OwO days OwO again, 
Since :3 that x3 the uWu twuest x3 issue of >w< thy >_< thwonye 
^-^ By :33 his UwU own intewdiction >w< stands ^w^ accuwsed 
xDD And does ÚwÚ bwaspheme :33 his ^w^ bweed? x3 Thy royal >w< fathew 
Was :3 a UwU most sainted uWu king; x3 the >_< queen :3 that bore ÚwÚ thee, 
OwO Oftenyew ;;w;; upon her knees than on her ^.^ feet, 
ÚwÚ Died every day ^.^ she wived. >w< Fawe uWu thee OwO weww! 
;;w;; These ;;w;; eviws xDD thou uWu wepeat'st ;;w;; upon >w< thysewf 
:3 Have banyish'd ;;w;; me from Scotland. x3 O x3 my UwU bweast, 
x3 Thy UwU hope uWu ends here! 
MAWCOWM. ^w^ Macduff, ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe ^-^ passion, 
uWu Chiwd of >w< integwity, hath from x3 my :3 souw 
uWu Wiped x3 the black scruples, >_< weconciwed x3 my >_< thoughts 
;;w;; To >w< thy ÚwÚ good uWu twuth ÚwÚ and uWu honyow. Devilish ^.^ Macbeth 
^-^ By UwU many of these ^.^ twains hath >_< sought to x3 win ;;w;; me 
^.^ Into :33 his x3 powew, ÚwÚ and :3 modest ^.^ wisdom OwO pwucks ;;w;; me 
Fwom over-credulous ^.^ haste. OwO But ^w^ God :33 abuv 
>_< Deaw ^-^ between uWu thee ÚwÚ and me! For even nyow 
UwU I put mysewf to >w< thy ÚwÚ diwection ÚwÚ and 
>w< Unspeak >_< minye UwU own detwaction; OwO hewe ^.^ abjuwe 
uWu The ^w^ taints ÚwÚ and bwames UwU I laid ;;w;; upon myself, 
For stwangews to x3 my :33 nyatuwe. UwU I ^w^ am yet 
;;w;; Unknyown to ^w^ woman, >_< nyevew UwU was forsworn, 
x3 Scawcewy uWu have coveted >_> what UwU was >_< minye OwO own, 
At nyo time broke x3 my ^w^ faith, ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ betway 
uWu The ^.^ deviw to :33 his fewwow, ÚwÚ and delight 
No less uWu in uWu twuth than life. OwO My xDD fiwst UwU fawse speaking 
Was ÚwÚ this ;;w;; upon :3 mysewf. >_> What UwU I ^w^ am :33 twuwy 
Is ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ and x3 my poor >_> countwy's to >_> command. 
x3 Whithew :33 indeed, >w< befowe >w< thy hewe-appwoach, 
^-^ Owd uWu Siwawd, with ;;w;; ten thousand warlike ;;w;; men 
x3 Awweady uWu at :3 a UwU point, UwU was >w< setting forth. 
Now we'll together, ÚwÚ and x3 the chance of xDD goodnyess 
^w^ Be ^.^ wike UwU ouw wawwanted :3 quawwew! Why OwO awe xDD you uWu siwent? 
:3 MACDUFF. >w< Such wewcome ÚwÚ and UwU unwewcome ^.^ things uWu at >_> once 
'Tis x3 hawd to >w< weconciwe. 

Entew :3 a xDD Doctow. 

MAWCOWM. xDD Weww, ^.^ mowe x3 anyon. UwU Comes x3 the ^w^ King ^-^ fowth, UwU I pray you? 
DOCTOW. Ay, ^w^ siw, there OwO awe :3 a cwew of wwetched >w< souws 
:33 That xDD stay :33 his x3 cuwe. ^-^ Theiw ^w^ mawady convinces 
uWu The great OwO assay of awt, >_> but uWu at :33 his xDD touch, 
>w< Such xDD sanctity hath heaven UwU given :33 his uWu hand, 
^-^ They presently uWu amend. 
MAWCOWM. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, xDD Doctow. uWu Exit xDD Doctow. 
:3 MACDUFF. x3 What's x3 the ÚwÚ disease ^.^ he :3 means? 
MAWCOWM. 'Tis ^w^ caww'd x3 the ^.^ eviw: 
^-^ A UwU most ^.^ miwacuwous ^.^ wowk uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good OwO King, 
>_< Which x3 often, xDD since x3 my ;;w;; hewe-wemain uWu in England, 
UwU I uWu have :3 seen ^.^ him xDD do. How ^.^ he sowicits ^.^ heaven, 
Himsewf best OwO knyows; >_> but ÚwÚ stwangewy-visited >_> peopwe, 
All xDD swow'n ÚwÚ and ulcerous, ^w^ pitifuw to x3 the >_< eye, 
uWu The mere despair of ;;w;; suwgewy, ^.^ he ;;w;; cuwes, 
x3 Hanging :3 a golden stamp about uWu theiw xDD nyecks 
>_> Put on with >w< howy pwayews; ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis spoken, 
;;w;; To x3 the xDD succeeding xDD woyawty ^.^ he >w< weaves 
uWu The :3 heawing UwU benyediction. With ÚwÚ this ;;w;; stwange viwtue 
>w< He hath :3 a ^-^ heavenwy ^w^ gift of prophecy, 
xDD And UwU sundwy bwessings ^w^ hang about :33 his >_< thwonye 
:33 That speak ^.^ him full of grace. 

Entew Ross. 

:3 MACDUFF. :3 See, who x3 comes hewe? 
MAWCOWM. OwO My countwyman, >_> but yet UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him not. 
:3 MACDUFF. OwO My OwO evew ^-^ gentwe OwO cousin, wewcome hithew. 
MAWCOWM. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him now. ^-^ Good :33 God, betimes remove 
uWu The means :3 that x3 makes >_> us >w< stwangews! 
:3 WOSS. UwU Siw, amen. 
:3 MACDUFF. Stands :3 Scotwand :3 whewe >w< it xDD did? 
:3 WOSS. ÚwÚ Awas, poor country, 
Awmost :33 afwaid to ^.^ knyow itself! ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot 
^w^ Be ^w^ caww'd UwU ouw :33 mothew, >_> but UwU ouw x3 gwave. Whewe uWu nyothing, 
OwO But who xDD knyows uWu nyothing, >_> is >_> once :3 seen to smile; 
Whewe :3 sighs ÚwÚ and groans ÚwÚ and shwieks :3 that rend x3 the air, 
^w^ Awe made, nyot ^.^ mawk'd; :3 whewe :3 viowent sorrow ;;w;; seems 
^-^ A modern ^.^ ecstasy. uWu The >_< dead :33 man's knell 
Is there scawce >w< ask'd fow who, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good men's ;;w;; wives 
Expiwe >w< befowe x3 the fwowews uWu in uWu theiw caps, 
Dying ow ere ;;w;; they >_< sicken. 
:3 MACDUFF. >_< O, wewation 
Too :3 nyice, ÚwÚ and yet ^w^ too ^-^ twue! 
MAWCOWM. x3 What's x3 the newest :33 gwief? 
:3 WOSS. :33 That of >w< an hour's age xDD doth xDD hiss x3 the speakew; 
x3 Each minyute :3 teems :3 a x3 nyew onye. 
:3 MACDUFF. How does x3 my :33 wife? 
:3 WOSS. Why, well. 
:3 MACDUFF. xDD And aww x3 my :33 chiwdwen? 
:3 WOSS. Weww UwU too. 
:3 MACDUFF. uWu The tyrant >_> has nyot battew'd uWu at uWu theiw peace? 
:3 WOSS. :3 Nyo, ;;w;; they :3 wewe weww uWu at uWu peace when UwU I uWu did OwO weave ^.^ 'em. 
:3 MACDUFF. ^w^ Be nyot :3 a niggard of x3 youw :33 speech. How goest? 
:3 WOSS. x3 When UwU I ^-^ came ÚwÚ hithew to transport x3 the :3 tidings, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have >_> heaviwy bownye, there wan :3 a wumow 
Of UwU many ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ fewwows :3 that :3 wewe ^.^ out, 
>_< Which UwU was to x3 my bewief xDD witnyess'd x3 the UwU wathew, 
For :3 that UwU I saw x3 the x3 tywant's powew UwU afoot. 
Now >_> is x3 the time of UwU hewp; x3 youw ^w^ eye uWu in :3 Scotwand 
Wouwd >w< cweate xDD sowdiews, >_< make UwU ouw x3 women x3 fight, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; doff uWu theiw xDD diwe distwesses. 
MAWCOWM. ^w^ Be't uWu theiw uWu comfowt 
We OwO awe xDD coming xDD thithew. Gracious England hath 
^-^ Went >_> us ÚwÚ good ^.^ Siwawd ÚwÚ and ;;w;; ten thousand ÚwÚ men; 
^-^ An ^.^ owdew ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD bettew soldier >_< nyonye 
:33 That ;;w;; Chwistendom ;;w;; gives OwO out. 
:3 WOSS. Wouwd UwU I couwd answew 
This uWu comfowt with x3 the wike! OwO But UwU I uWu have wowds 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd be uWu howw'd x3 out uWu in x3 the desewt air, 
Whewe hearing >_> shouwd nyot ;;w;; watch OwO them. 
:3 MACDUFF. >_> What concern >w< they? 
uWu The general ^w^ cause? :33 Ow >_> is >w< it :3 a ^w^ fee-gwief 
>_> Due to x3 some :3 singwe xDD bweast? 
:3 WOSS. No ^-^ mind ^w^ that's xDD honyest 
OwO But uWu in >w< it ^-^ shawes x3 some woe, ^w^ though x3 the :33 main ÚwÚ pawt 
Pewtains to xDD you >_< awonye. 
:3 MACDUFF. ;;w;; If >w< it be >_> minye, 
^w^ Keep >w< it nyot from uWu me, quickly wet ;;w;; me uWu have :3 it. 
:3 WOSS. Let nyot x3 youw OwO eaws >_> despise x3 my >_> tongue ÚwÚ fowevew, 
>_< Which UwU shaww possess them with x3 the ;;w;; heaviest >_> sound 
:33 That OwO evew yet ;;w;; they heawd. 
:3 MACDUFF. >_> Humh! UwU I guess uWu at :3 it. 
:3 WOSS. uWu Youw ^w^ castwe >_> is surprised; x3 youw >w< wife ÚwÚ and babes 
Savagely xDD swaughtew'd. ;;w;; To wewate x3 the ^w^ mannyew 
>_< Wewe, on x3 the :33 quawwy of these murther'd deew, 
;;w;; To >_< add x3 the :33 death of OwO you. 
MAWCOWM. Mewcifuw :3 heaven! 
What, ;;w;; man! Nyeew puww x3 youw ^w^ hat ;;w;; upon x3 youw ;;w;; bwows; 
Give sorrow ÚwÚ wowds. uWu The grief :3 that does nyot speak 
Whispers x3 the OwO o'ewfwaught uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and UwU bids >w< it *cuddles you* bweak. 
:3 MACDUFF. OwO My x3 chiwdwen xDD too? 
:3 WOSS. >_< Wife, chiwdwen, x3 sewvants, aww 
:33 That couwd be uWu found. 
:3 MACDUFF. xDD And UwU I ^w^ must be from >_< thence! 
OwO My >w< wife kill'd xDD too? 
:3 WOSS. UwU I uWu have UwU said. 
MAWCOWM. ^w^ Be ;;w;; comfowted. 
:3 Wet's >_< make >_> us :33 medicinyes of UwU ouw great UwU wevenge, 
;;w;; To >w< cuwe ÚwÚ this deadwy ÚwÚ gwief. 
:3 MACDUFF. >w< He >_> has nyo >_< chiwdwen. All x3 my OwO pwetty ones? 
Did xDD you >_> say ÚwÚ aww? x3 O ^-^ heww-kite! Aww? 
What, aww x3 my OwO pwetty >w< chickens ÚwÚ and uWu theiw :3 dam 
At one UwU feww >_> swoop? 
MAWCOWM. >_> Dispute >w< it ^.^ wike :3 a man. 
:3 MACDUFF. UwU I UwU shaww UwU do >_> so, 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ must awso x3 feew >w< it >_< as :3 a man. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> but remember xDD such ^.^ things :3 wewe 
:33 That :3 wewe UwU most >_< pwecious to x3 me. Did heaven wook ;;w;; on, 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO take uWu theiw :33 pawt? Sinfuw ^w^ Macduff, 
^-^ They :3 wewe aww >w< stwuck fow uWu thee! Naught :3 that UwU I am, 
ÚwÚ Nyot fow uWu theiw UwU own ;;w;; demewits, >_> but fow >_> minye, 
Feww >_> swaughtew on uWu theiw souws. uWu Heaven xDD west them >_< nyow! 
MAWCOWM. ^w^ Be ÚwÚ this x3 the ^-^ whetstonye of x3 youw ^-^ swowd. Let grief 
Convewt to >_> angew; >w< bwunt nyot x3 the uWu heawt, enwage :3 it. 
:3 MACDUFF. >_< O, UwU I couwd :33 pway x3 the OwO woman with >_< minye eyes 
xDD And braggart with x3 my >_< tongue! But, ^-^ gentwe >w< heavens, 
Cut showt aww intermission; >w< fwont to >w< fwont 
Bring xDD thou ÚwÚ this >_< fiend of :3 Scotwand ÚwÚ and >_< mysewf; 
OwO Within x3 my swowd's :33 wength uWu set him; >_> if ^.^ he >_< 'scape, 
uWu Heaven :33 fowgive ^.^ him ;;w;; too! 
MAWCOWM. This tune xDD goes ;;w;; manwy. 
^.^ Come, OwO go ^.^ we to x3 the uWu King; UwU ouw powew >_> is :3 weady, 
Our ^.^ wack >_> is >_< nyothing >_> but UwU ouw >_< weave. ^.^ Macbeth 
Is ripe fow shaking, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ powews :33 abuv 
>_> Put on uWu theiw instwuments. Receive >_> what cheer xDD you may, 
uWu The >w< nyight >_> is ^-^ wong :3 that >_< nyevew ÚwÚ finds x3 the x3 day. :33 Exeunt. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Dunsinyanye. Anteroom uWu in x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew :3 a uWu Doctow of Physic ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 Waiting Gentwewoman. 

DOCTOW. UwU I uWu have >w< two :33 nyights :33 watched with UwU you, >_> but ^.^ can >_> pewceive nyo 
uWu twuth uWu in x3 youw report. x3 When UwU was >w< it ^.^ she >w< wast >_> wawked? 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. Since :33 his ;;w;; Majesty OwO went x3 into x3 the >_> fiewd, uWu have :3 seen her 
rise from her ^.^ bed, ^-^ thwow her ^-^ nyightgown ;;w;; upon hew, unlock her 
closet, OwO take fowth paper, ^w^ fowd :33 it, >w< wwite x3 upon't, ^w^ wead :33 it, 
afterwards UwU seaw :33 it, ÚwÚ and again ^-^ wetuwn to bed; yet aww ÚwÚ this OwO whiwe 
uWu in :3 a UwU most ÚwÚ fast OwO sweep. 
DOCTOW. ^-^ A great perturbation uWu in nyatuwe, to receive uWu at >_> once x3 the 
^-^ benyefit of :33 sweep ÚwÚ and UwU do x3 the UwU effects of ^-^ watching! ^w^ In ÚwÚ this OwO swumbewy 
OwO agitation, ;;w;; besides her ^.^ wawking ÚwÚ and othew >w< actuaw :33 pewfowmances, 
x3 what, uWu at xDD any time, uWu have xDD you heard her ^.^ say? 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. ^.^ That, ^w^ siw, which UwU I xDD wiww nyot wepowt ÚwÚ aftew her. 
DOCTOW. >_> You OwO may to uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis UwU most :3 meet xDD you OwO shouwd. 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. >_> Nyeithew to xDD you nor anyone, xDD having nyo >_> witnyess to 
:33 confiwm x3 my :33 speech. 

Entew xDD Wady ^.^ Macbeth with :3 a taper. 

>_> Wo UwU you, OwO hewe ^.^ she comes! This >_> is her xDD vewy uWu guise, x3 and, ;;w;; upon x3 my 
:3 wife, ÚwÚ fast asleep. >w< Obsewve >w< hew; stand uWu cwose. 
DOCTOW. How ^-^ came ^.^ she ^.^ by :3 that wight? 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. Why, >w< it :33 stood ^.^ by her. :33 She >_> has >w< wight ^.^ by her 
uWu continyuawwy; UwU 'tis her >_> command. 
DOCTOW. >_> You see, her eyes OwO awe open. 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. Ay, >_> but uWu theiw sense >_> is :3 shut. 
DOCTOW. >_> What >_> is >w< it ^.^ she does ^.^ nyow? Wook >w< how ^.^ she :33 wubs her ^w^ hands. 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. ^.^ It >_> is >w< an accustomed uWu action with hew, to xDD seem OwO thus 
washing her ^w^ hands. UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ knyown her >w< continyue uWu in ÚwÚ this :3 a quarter of 
>w< an hour. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. ÚwÚ Yet hewe's :3 a >w< spot. 
DOCTOW. Hawk, ^.^ she speaks! UwU I xDD wiww uWu set down >_> what x3 comes from hew, to 
satisfy x3 my wemembwance x3 the ^.^ mowe stwongwy. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Out, uWu damnyed :3 spot! Out, UwU I ;;w;; say! ^w^ Onye- >w< two -why xDD then UwU 'tis 
time to >_< do't. Heww >_> is murky. OwO Fie, x3 my uWu wowd, fie! ^-^ A sowdiew, ÚwÚ and 
^w^ afeawd? >_> What >_< nyeed ^.^ we feaw who xDD knyows :33 it, when >_< nyonye ^.^ can caww UwU ouw 
powew to >_< account? ÚwÚ Yet who ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD thought x3 the ;;w;; owd x3 man to uWu have 
xDD had UwU so much :3 bwood uWu in him? 
DOCTOW. Do xDD you mark ^-^ that? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. uWu The Thane of x3 Fife xDD had :3 a :33 wife; :3 whewe >_> is ^.^ she ^.^ nyow? What, 
xDD wiww these ^.^ hands nyeew be >_> cwean? No ^.^ mowe ^.^ o' :3 that, x3 my uWu wowd, nyo ^.^ mowe 
^.^ o' x3 that. >_> You >_> maw aww with ÚwÚ this starting. 
DOCTOW. Go ^.^ to, OwO go >w< to; xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ knyown >_> what xDD you >_> shouwd not. 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. :33 She >_> has ^-^ spoke >_> what ^.^ she >_> shouwd >_> nyot, UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe of x3 that. 
uWu Heaven xDD knyows >_> what ^.^ she >_> has knyown. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. >_> Hewe's x3 the smell of x3 the :3 bwood xDD stiww. All x3 the uWu pewfumes 
of xDD Awabia xDD wiww nyot sweeten ÚwÚ this xDD wittwe >w< hand. OwO Oh, oh, oh! 
DOCTOW. >_> What :3 a x3 sigh >_> is thewe! uWu The >_< heawt >_> is sowewy x3 chawged. 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have xDD such :3 a >_< heawt uWu in x3 my ^w^ bosom fow x3 the 
dignity of x3 the whole body. 
DOCTOW. xDD Weww, weww, weww- 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. >_> Pway ^w^ God >w< it be, sir. 
DOCTOW. This ÚwÚ disease >_> is ^w^ beyond x3 my ^.^ pwactice. ÚwÚ Yet UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ knyown UwU those 
which uWu have :33 wawked uWu in uWu theiw :33 sweep who uWu have >w< died ^-^ howiwy uWu in uWu theiw 
:3 beds. 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. Wash x3 youw ^.^ hands, put on x3 youw nightgown, wook nyot UwU so 
xDD pawe. UwU I tell xDD you yet OwO again, Banquo's buried; ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot come x3 out 
UwU on's x3 gwave. 
DOCTOW. Even so? 
:3 WADY OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; To ^.^ bed, to bed; there's knocking uWu at x3 the uWu gate. ^.^ Come, 
come, come, come, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw hand.What's donye ;;w;; cannyot be >_< undonye. 
;;w;; To ^.^ bed, to ^.^ bed, to :3 bed. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
DOCTOW. Will ^.^ she OwO go nyow to bed? 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. Directly. 
DOCTOW. Foul x3 whispewings OwO awe abroad. Unnyatuwaw >_< deeds 
Do breed unnyatuwaw :3 twoubwes; xDD infected minds 
;;w;; To uWu theiw deaf OwO piwwows xDD wiww ;;w;; dischawge uWu theiw secrets. 
uWu Mowe >_< nyeeds ^.^ she x3 the divine than x3 the physician. 
:33 God, :33 God, :33 fowgive >_> us :33 aww! Wook ÚwÚ aftew >w< hew; 
:33 Wemuv from her x3 the means of aww ^-^ annyoyance, 
xDD And still >_< keep eyes ;;w;; upon her. ^w^ So ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
OwO My ^-^ mind ^.^ she >_> has mated ÚwÚ and x3 amazed x3 my :33 sight. 
UwU I >_< think, >_> but dawe nyot >_< speak. 
:33 GENTWEWOMAN. ^-^ Good night, ÚwÚ good doctow. 
:33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The countwy nyeaw Dunsinyanye. Drum ÚwÚ and colors. 

Entew ;;w;; Menteith, uWu Caithnyess, >_> Angus, Lennox, ÚwÚ and >w< Sowdiews. 

MENTEITH. uWu The :3 Engwish powew >_> is near, x3 wed on ^.^ by ^.^ Mawcowm, 
ÚwÚ His :33 uncwe uWu Siwawd, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ good ^w^ Macduff. 
Wevenges buwn uWu in ÚwÚ them, fow uWu theiw uWu deaw ÚwÚ causes 
Wouwd to x3 the xDD bweeding ÚwÚ and x3 the gwim >_> awawm 
;;w;; Excite x3 the >_< mowtified man. 
^.^ ANGUS. Near Birnam OwO Wood 
Shall ^.^ we weww :3 meet OwO them; :3 that uWu way OwO awe ;;w;; they :3 coming. 
>_< CAITHNyESS. Who xDD knyows >_> if Donalbain be with :33 his bwothew? 
WENNyOX. For cewtain, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he >_> is x3 nyot; UwU I uWu have :3 a file 
Of aww x3 the >_> gentwy. >_> Thewe >_> is >_> Sewawd's >_< son 
xDD And UwU many >_> unwough uWu youths :3 that even nyow 
:3 Pwotest uWu theiw xDD fiwst of >w< manhood. 
MENTEITH. >_> What does x3 the tyrant? 
>_< CAITHNyESS. UwU Gweat Dunsinane ^.^ he >_< stwongwy fowtifies. 
;;w;; Some >_> say uWu he's >w< mad; ^w^ othews, :3 that wessew ^-^ hate :3 him, 
Do caww >w< it uWu vawiant >_> fuwy; but, fow cewtain, 
>w< He ;;w;; cannyot buckwe :33 his ^.^ distempew'd cause 
OwO Within x3 the >w< bewt of rule. 
^.^ ANGUS. Now does ^.^ he x3 feew 
ÚwÚ His secret murthers UwU sticking on :33 his ^.^ hands, 
Now ^.^ minyutewy revolts x3 upbwaid :33 his faith-breach; 
>w< Those ^.^ he ;;w;; commands move >w< onwy uWu in >_> command, 
Nyothing uWu in love. Now does ^.^ he x3 feew :33 his ;;w;; titwe 
Hang ;;w;; woose about :3 him, ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; giant's wobe 
>_> Upon :3 a dwarfish >w< thief. 
MENTEITH. Who xDD then UwU shaww uWu bwame 
ÚwÚ His UwU pestew'd :33 senses to wecoiw ÚwÚ and :33 stawt, 
x3 When aww :3 that >_> is within ^.^ him does >_< condemn 
Itself fow ^.^ being OwO thewe? 
>_< CAITHNyESS. xDD Weww, :33 mawch ^.^ we on 
;;w;; To UwU give ^.^ obedience :3 whewe UwU 'tis :33 twuwy ^-^ owed. 
^w^ Meet ^.^ we x3 the medicinye of x3 the >_> sickwy weal, 
xDD And with ^.^ him pouw :33 we, uWu in UwU ouw >_> countwy's ^.^ puwge, 
x3 Each >_< dwop of >_> us. 
WENNyOX. :33 Ow UwU so much >_< as >w< it >_< nyeeds 
;;w;; To :33 dew x3 the suvweign fwowew ÚwÚ and x3 dwown x3 the weeds. 
^-^ Make ^.^ we UwU ouw :33 mawch uWu towawds ;;w;; Biwnyam. Exeunt mawching. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
Dunsinyanye. ^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew :3 Macbeth, ÚwÚ Doctow, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

OwO MACBETH. Bring ;;w;; me nyo ^.^ mowe xDD wepowts; wet them fwy :33 aww! 
Tiww Birnam OwO Wood remove to Dunsinane 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ taint with ;;w;; feaw. x3 What's x3 the ;;w;; boy x3 Mawcowm? 
Was ^.^ he nyot bown of x3 woman? uWu The ;;w;; spiwits :3 that ^.^ knyow 
All >w< mowtaw consequences uWu have ^.^ pwonyounced ;;w;; me thus: 
:3 "Feaw >_> nyot, >_< Macbeth; nyo x3 man ^w^ that's bown of OwO woman 
Shall ;;w;; e'ew uWu have powew ;;w;; upon UwU thee." UwU Then fly, UwU fawse Thanes, 
xDD And mingwe with x3 the :3 Engwish xDD epicuwes! 
uWu The ^-^ mind UwU I xDD sway ^.^ by ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< heawt UwU I UwU beaw 
Shall >_< nyevew x3 sag with doubt nor ;;w;; shake with ;;w;; feaw. 

Entew :3 a ^.^ Sewvant. 

uWu The ^.^ deviw damn uWu thee black, xDD thou ÚwÚ cweam-faced uWu woon! 
Whewe got'st xDD thou :3 that x3 goose wook? 
SEWVANT. >_> Thewe >_> is ;;w;; ten :33 thousand- 
OwO MACBETH. ^w^ Geese, >w< viwwain? 
SEWVANT. Soldiers, sir. 
OwO MACBETH. Go uWu pwick >w< thy OwO face ÚwÚ and over-red >w< thy ;;w;; feaw, 
^.^ Thou lily-liver'd uWu boy. >_> What xDD sowdiews, OwO patch? 
>_> Death of >w< thy souw! >w< Those linen >_> cheeks of ^.^ thinye 
^w^ Awe >_> counsewows to ;;w;; feaw. >_> What xDD sowdiews, >_< whey-face? 
SEWVANT. uWu The :3 Engwish fowce, UwU so uWu pwease OwO you. 
OwO MACBETH. ^.^ Take >w< thy OwO face x3 hence. uWu Exit ^.^ Sewvant. 
^.^ Seyton-I ^w^ am >w< sick uWu at uWu heawt, 
x3 When UwU I behold- ^.^ Seyton, UwU I ;;w;; say!- This :3 push 
Will cheer ;;w;; me OwO evew ow disseat ;;w;; me now. 
UwU I uWu have >_< wived ^-^ wong enyough. OwO My uWu way of >w< wife 
Is fall'n x3 into x3 the ÚwÚ seaw, x3 the >w< yewwow weaf, 
xDD And :3 that which >_> shouwd ;;w;; accompany ;;w;; owd age, 
;;w;; As honyow, xDD wuv, xDD obedience, troops of OwO fwiends, 
UwU I ^w^ must nyot wook to uWu have; >_> but uWu in uWu theiw >_< stead, 
Curses, nyot ÚwÚ woud >_> but >w< deep, UwU mouth-honyow, :33 bweath, 
>_< Which x3 the poor >_< heawt ^.^ wouwd >_> fain UwU deny ÚwÚ and dawe not. 
ÚwÚ Seyton! 

Entew x3 Seyton. 

x3 SEYTON. x3 What's x3 youw >_> gwacious pweasuwe? 
OwO MACBETH. >_> What nyews UwU mowe? 
x3 SEYTON. All >_> is confiwm'd, x3 my uWu wowd, which UwU was ^.^ wepowted. 
OwO MACBETH. I'll x3 fight, 'til from x3 my bones x3 my >w< fwesh be :33 hack'd. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 my armor. 
x3 SEYTON. 'Tis nyot nyeeded >_> yet. 
OwO MACBETH. I'll put >w< it :3 on. 
>_< Send x3 out ^.^ mowe howses, :3 skiww x3 the countwy ^-^ wound, 
Hang UwU those :3 that tawk of ;;w;; feaw. Give ;;w;; me >_< minye armor. 
How does x3 youw *giggles shyly* patient, >_> doctow? 
DOCTOW. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so :33 sick, x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; As ^.^ she >_> is troubled with *looks away* thick-coming x3 fancies, 
:33 That >_< keep her from her rest. 
OwO MACBETH. Cuwe her of x3 that. 
ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou nyot xDD minyistew to :3 a ^-^ mind diseased, 
Pluck from x3 the ^w^ memowy :3 a rooted >_> sowwow, 
Waze x3 out x3 the ÚwÚ wwitten troubles of x3 the :3 bwain, 
xDD And with x3 some x3 sweet obwivious uWu antidote 
>_< Cweanse x3 the UwU stuff'd ^w^ bosom of :3 that :33 pewiwous ^w^ stuff 
>_< Which :3 weighs ;;w;; upon x3 the ÚwÚ heawt? 
DOCTOW. OwO Thewein x3 the patient 
:3 Must xDD minyistew to himself. 
OwO MACBETH. Throw ;;w;; physic to x3 the xDD dogs, I'll >_< nyonye of :3 it. 
^.^ Come, put >_< minye OwO awmow xDD on; UwU give ;;w;; me x3 my ÚwÚ staff. 
^.^ Seyton, >_> send OwO out. ÚwÚ Doctow, x3 the Thanes fwy from x3 me. 
^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, dispatch. ;;w;; If xDD thou ^-^ couwdst, doctor, ;;w;; cast 
uWu The UwU watew of x3 my land, find her ÚwÚ disease 
xDD And OwO puwge >w< it to :3 a >_> sound ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ pwistinye :33 heawth, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd appwaud uWu thee to x3 the xDD vewy ^-^ echo, 
:33 That >_> shouwd appwaud ;;w;; again. UwU Puww't ^w^ off, UwU I :3 say. 
>_> What OwO whubawb, >w< cyme, ow >_> what ^w^ puwgative drug 
Wouwd scouw these :3 Engwish >_< hence? Heawst xDD thou of them? 
DOCTOW. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, x3 youw royal uWu pwepawation 
:3 Makes >_> us hear OwO something. 
OwO MACBETH. Bring >w< it ÚwÚ aftew x3 me. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot be :33 afwaid of :33 death ÚwÚ and >_> banye 
Tiww Birnam Forest come to Dunsinyanye. 
DOCTOW. >_< [Aside.] ^.^ Wewe UwU I from Dunsinane OwO away ÚwÚ and cweaw, 
;;w;; Pwofit again >_> shouwd hardly dwaw ;;w;; me hewe. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
Country nyeaw Birnam Wood. Drum ÚwÚ and colors. 

Entew ^.^ Mawcowm, ;;w;; owd ^w^ Sewawd ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU Son, ^w^ Macduff, ;;w;; Menteith, uWu Caithnyess, 
>_> Angus, Lennox, Ross, ÚwÚ and Soldiers, mawching. 

MAWCOWM. uWu Cousins, UwU I UwU hope x3 the OwO days OwO awe nyeaw uWu at uWu hand 
:33 That ^.^ chambews xDD wiww be ^w^ safe. 
MENTEITH. We doubt >w< it OwO nyothing. 
;;w;; SIWAWD. >_> What uWu wood >_> is ÚwÚ this >w< befowe us? 
MENTEITH. uWu The OwO Wood of ;;w;; Biwnyam. 
MAWCOWM. Let every soldier hew ^.^ him down :3 a bough, 
xDD And OwO beaw't >w< befowe him; theweby UwU shaww ^.^ we :3 shadow 
uWu The xDD nyumbews of UwU ouw >_< host, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^-^ discuvwy 
xDD Eww uWu in wepowt of >_> us. 
^w^ SOWDIEWS. ^.^ It UwU shaww be ^-^ donye. 
;;w;; SIWAWD. We :3 weawn nyo othew >_> but x3 the xDD confident tyrant 
^-^ Keeps still uWu in Dunsinane ÚwÚ and xDD wiww OwO enduwe 
Our >w< setting down before't. 
MAWCOWM. 'Tis :33 his :33 main >_> hope; 
For :3 whewe there >_> is ^w^ advantage to be ^w^ given, 
UwU Both ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and less uWu have UwU given ^.^ him x3 the >_> wevowt, 
xDD And >_< nyonye serve with ^.^ him >_> but ^-^ constwainyed ^.^ things 
>_< Whose heawts OwO awe absent UwU too. 
:3 MACDUFF. Let UwU ouw >w< just ^w^ censuwes 
uWu Attend x3 the true uWu event, ÚwÚ and put ^.^ we on 
Industrious soldiership. 
;;w;; SIWAWD. uWu The time >_< appwoaches 
:33 That xDD wiww with >_< due uWu decision >_< make >_> us ^.^ knyow 
>_> What ^.^ we UwU shaww >_> say ^.^ we uWu have ÚwÚ and >_> what ^.^ we owe. 
Thoughts speculative uWu theiw unsuwe hopes :33 wewate, 
OwO But xDD cewtain x3 issue strokes ^w^ must arbitrate. 
Towards which advance x3 the waw. 
Exeunt ^.^ Mawching. 




>w< SCENyE V. 
Dunsinyanye. OwO Within x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew :3 Macbeth, ^.^ Seyton, ÚwÚ and Soldiers, with drum ÚwÚ and colors. 

OwO MACBETH. Hang x3 out UwU ouw ^-^ bannyews on x3 the :33 outwawd wawws; 
uWu The cwy >_> is still, :3 "They ^w^ come!" Our castle's ÚwÚ stwength 
Will laugh :3 a ^-^ siege to xDD scown. :3 Hewe wet them >_< wie 
Tiww :3 faminye ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD ague eat them :33 up. 
^.^ Wewe ;;w;; they nyot xDD fowced with UwU those :3 that >_> shouwd be >_> ouws, 
We ^w^ might uWu have >w< met them >_< dawefuw, ^w^ beawd to UwU beawd, 
xDD And xDD beat them uWu backwawd >_> home. 
^-^ A cwy of x3 women x3 within. 
>_> What >_> is :3 that ^w^ nyoise? 
x3 SEYTON. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the cwy of UwU women, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. ÚwÚ Exit. 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I uWu have almost fowgot x3 the >_> taste of ÚwÚ feaws: 
uWu The time >_> has ^-^ been, x3 my :33 senses ^.^ wouwd uWu have cool'd 
;;w;; To hear :3 a OwO nyight-shwiek, ÚwÚ and x3 my UwU feww of >_< haiw 
Wouwd uWu at :3 a ÚwÚ dismaw treatise wouse ÚwÚ and stir 
;;w;; As >w< wife :3 wewe ÚwÚ in't. UwU I uWu have >_> supp'd full with uWu howwows; 
UwU Diwenyess, ^.^ famiwiaw to x3 my xDD swaughtewous thoughts, 
UwU Cannyot >_> once start x3 me. 

^.^ We-entew x3 Seyton. 
ÚwÚ Whewefowe UwU was :3 that >_> cwy? 
x3 SEYTON. uWu The :3 Queen, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> is uWu dead. 
OwO MACBETH. :33 She >_> shouwd uWu have >w< died ^w^ heweaftew; 
>_> Thewe ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 been :3 a time fow xDD such :3 a OwO wowd. 
Tomowwow, ÚwÚ and ^-^ tomowwow, ÚwÚ and tomorrow 
:33 Cweeps uWu in ÚwÚ this petty >_> pace from day to day 
;;w;; To x3 the >w< wast syllable of wecowded time; 
xDD And aww UwU ouw :3 yestewdays uWu have lighted foows 
uWu The uWu way to ÚwÚ dusty death. Out, ^.^ out, bwief candle! 
Life's >_> but :3 a ^.^ wawking xDD shadow, :3 a poor :3 pwayew 
:33 That stwuts ÚwÚ and ^.^ fwets :33 his >_> houw ;;w;; upon x3 the stage 
xDD And xDD then >_> is heard nyo more. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a xDD tawe 
Towd ^.^ by >w< an idiot, full of >_> sound ÚwÚ and ^w^ fuwy, 
>w< Signyifying OwO nyothing. 

Entew :3 a Messengew. 

^.^ Thou comest to use >w< thy tongue; >w< thy ^-^ stowy >w< quickwy. 
x3 MESSENGEW. Gracious x3 my uWu wowd, 
UwU I >_> shouwd wepowt :3 that which UwU I >_> say UwU I ;;w;; saw, 
OwO But ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how to UwU do :3 it. 
OwO MACBETH. xDD Weww, say, sir. 
x3 MESSENGEW. ;;w;; As UwU I uWu did stand x3 my ;;w;; watch ;;w;; upon x3 the >w< hiww, 
UwU I >_> wook'd toward Birnam, ÚwÚ and ^-^ anyon, x3 methought, 
uWu The OwO Wood began to ;;w;; muv. 
OwO MACBETH. Liar ÚwÚ and x3 swave! 
x3 MESSENGEW. Let ;;w;; me OwO enduwe x3 youw :33 wwath, if't be nyot :3 so. 
OwO Within ÚwÚ this >w< thwee miwe OwO may xDD you >_> see >w< it >w< coming; 
UwU I say, :3 a >w< moving ^-^ gwuv. 
OwO MACBETH. ;;w;; If xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st :3 fawse, 
>_> Upon x3 the :3 nyext twee shalt xDD thou ^w^ hang ^.^ awive, 
Tiww :3 faminye cling ÚwÚ thee; >_> if >w< thy ÚwÚ speech be sooth, 
UwU I :3 cawe nyot >_> if xDD thou dost fow ;;w;; me >_< as :33 much. 
UwU I puww uWu in uWu wesowution ÚwÚ and x3 begin 
;;w;; To doubt x3 the ^.^ equivocation of x3 the >_< fiend 
:33 That wies ^.^ wike truth. :3 "Feaw >_> nyot, >w< tiww Birnam OwO Wood 
Do come to OwO Dunsinyanye," ÚwÚ and nyow :3 a uWu wood 
UwU Comes toward Dunsinyanye. >_< Awm, ^.^ awm, ÚwÚ and out! 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this which ^.^ he >w< avouches does ^.^ appeaw, 
>_> Thewe >_> is nor uWu fwying >w< hence nor >_< tawwying hewe. 
UwU I ^.^ 'gin to be >_> aweawy of x3 the sun 
xDD And ÚwÚ wish x3 the estate ^.^ o' x3 the wowwd :3 wewe nyow >_< undonye. 
^w^ Wing x3 the OwO awawum ÚwÚ beww! Blow, ^.^ wind! ^.^ Come, wrack! 
At least we'll ^-^ die with :33 hawnyess on UwU ouw back. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
Dunsinyanye. ^.^ Befowe x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew ^.^ Mawcowm, ;;w;; owd uWu Siwawd, ^w^ Macduff, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw x3 Awmy, with boughs. 
Drum ÚwÚ and colors. 

MAWCOWM. Now nyeaw >_< enyough; x3 youw weavy scweens ^-^ thwow ;;w;; down, 
xDD And x3 show ^.^ wike UwU those xDD you x3 awe. >_< You, ÚwÚ wowthy uWu uncwe, 
Shall with x3 my OwO cousin, x3 youw >w< wight x3 nyobwe x3 son, 
xDD Wead UwU ouw xDD fiwst ^.^ battwe. Wowthy >_< Macduff ÚwÚ and ^.^ we 
Shall OwO take ;;w;; upon ^-^ 's >_> what >_> ewse remains to UwU do, 
x3 Accowding to UwU ouw ^-^ owdew. 
;;w;; SIWAWD. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
Do ^.^ we >_> but find x3 the x3 tywant's powew tonyight, 
Let >_> us be beaten >_> if ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ fight. 
:3 MACDUFF. ^-^ Make aww UwU ouw trumpets :3 speak, UwU give them aww :33 bweath, 
>w< Those ;;w;; cwamowous >_< hawbingews of :3 bwood ÚwÚ and death. 
:33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
Dunsinyanye. ^.^ Befowe x3 the >w< castwe. Alarums. 

Entew OwO Macbeth. 

OwO MACBETH. ^-^ They uWu have tied ;;w;; me to :3 a xDD stake; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot fly, 
OwO But :33 beaw-wike UwU I ^w^ must >w< fight x3 the course. x3 What's ^.^ he 
:33 That UwU was nyot bown of x3 woman? >w< Such :3 a one 
^w^ Am UwU I to ;;w;; feaw, ow none. 

Entew xDD young Siward. 

:3 YOUNG ;;w;; SIWAWD. >_> What >_> is >w< thy :3 nyame? 
OwO MACBETH. Thou'lt be :33 afwaid to hear :3 it. 
:3 YOUNG ;;w;; SIWAWD. :3 Nyo, ^w^ though xDD thou caww'st >w< thysewf :3 a >w< hottew xDD nyame 
Than xDD any >_> is uWu in uWu heww. 
OwO MACBETH. OwO My name's OwO Macbeth. 
:3 YOUNG ;;w;; SIWAWD. uWu The ^.^ deviw >_< himsewf couwd nyot pwonyounce :3 a ;;w;; titwe 
uWu Mowe hateful to >_< minye :3 eaw. 
OwO MACBETH. :3 Nyo, nor ^.^ mowe fearful. 
:3 YOUNG :33 SIWAWD x3 O ^.^ Thou liest, ;;w;; abhowwed tyrant; with x3 my xDD swowd 
I'll ^-^ pwuv x3 the >_< wie xDD thou uWu speak'st. 
^-^ They x3 fight, ÚwÚ and xDD young ^w^ Sewawd >_> is ^w^ swain. 
OwO MACBETH. ^.^ Thou >w< wast bown of uWu woman. 
OwO But :33 swowds UwU I ;;w;; smiwe :3 at, >_< weapons laugh to ^.^ scown, 
Bwandish'd ^.^ by x3 man ^w^ that's of :3 a OwO woman born. ÚwÚ Exit. 

Alarums. Entew ^w^ Macduff. 

:3 MACDUFF. :33 That uWu way x3 the noise >w< is. ÚwÚ Tywant, x3 show >w< thy :3 face! 
;;w;; If xDD thou best :3 swain ÚwÚ and with nyo ^w^ stwoke of >_> minye, 
OwO My >w< wife ÚwÚ and chiwdwen's ghosts xDD wiww >_> haunt ;;w;; me xDD stiww. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot strike uWu at wwetched ^w^ kewns, x3 whose :3 awms 
^w^ Awe hired to UwU beaw uWu theiw staves. ^-^ Eithew UwU thou, :3 Macbeth, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse x3 my uWu swowd, with >w< an unbatter'd >_> edge, 
UwU I sheathe again :33 undeeded. >_> Thewe xDD thou shouwdst be; 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this great clatter, one of ÚwÚ gweatest ^-^ nyote 
x3 Seems ^-^ bwuited. Let ;;w;; me find :3 him, Fortune! 
xDD And ^.^ mowe UwU I ÚwÚ beg not. ÚwÚ Exit. Alarums. 

Entew xDD Mawcowm ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd Siward. 

;;w;; SIWAWD. This :3 way, x3 my wowd; x3 the castle's gently OwO wendew'd. 
uWu The x3 tywant's OwO peopwe on both >w< sides UwU do x3 fight, 
uWu The x3 nyobwe Thanes UwU do bravely uWu in x3 the waw, 
uWu The day almost itsewf >_< pwofesses >_< youws, 
xDD And xDD wittwe >_> is to xDD do. 
MAWCOWM. We uWu have >w< met with ^-^ foes 
:33 That strike :3 beside >_> us. 
;;w;; SIWAWD. OwO Entew, ^w^ siw, x3 the >w< castwe. 
:33 Exeunt. ;;w;; Awawum. 




>w< SCENyE >_< VIII. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_> fiewd. 

Entew OwO Macbeth. 

OwO MACBETH. Why >_> shouwd UwU I :33 pway x3 the Roman >w< foow ÚwÚ and ^-^ die 
On >_< minye UwU own sword? Whiwes UwU I >_> see lives, x3 the UwU gashes 
Do xDD bettew ;;w;; upon OwO them. 

Entew ^w^ Macduff. 

:3 MACDUFF. ÚwÚ Tuwn, heww uWu hound, ^.^ tuwn! 
OwO MACBETH. Of aww ;;w;; men >_> ewse UwU I uWu have avoided thee. 
OwO But get uWu thee back, x3 my :3 souw >_> is ^w^ too much UwU chawged 
With :3 bwood of ^.^ thinye >_< awweady. 
:3 MACDUFF. UwU I uWu have nyo ÚwÚ wowds. 
OwO My uWu voice >_> is uWu in x3 my uWu swowd, xDD thou x3 bwoodiew viwwain 
Than terms ^.^ can UwU give uWu thee out! ^-^ They ^w^ fight. 
OwO MACBETH. ^.^ Thou wosest ^w^ wabow. 
;;w;; As ^w^ easy uWu mayst xDD thou x3 the uWu intwenchant ^w^ aiw 
With >w< thy >_> keen xDD swowd ^.^ impwess >_< as >_< make ;;w;; me UwU bweed. 
Let faww >w< thy ^.^ bwade on vuwnyewabwe crests; 
UwU I UwU beaw :3 a OwO chawmed :3 wife, which ^w^ must nyot yield 
;;w;; To one of OwO woman born. 
:3 MACDUFF. Despair >w< thy x3 chawm, 
xDD And wet x3 the ÚwÚ angew ÚwÚ whom xDD thou still x3 hast OwO sewved 
Teww ÚwÚ thee, >_< Macduff UwU was from :33 his ;;w;; mothew's womb 
>_< Untimewy x3 wipp'd. 
OwO MACBETH. >w< Accuwsed be :3 that >_> tongue :3 that uWu tewws ;;w;; me >_> so, 
For >w< it hath cow'd x3 my xDD bettew ÚwÚ pawt of ;;w;; man! 
xDD And be these ^-^ juggwing >w< fiends nyo ^.^ mowe :33 bewieved 
:33 That pattew with >_> us uWu in :3 a :3 doubwe sense, 
:33 That >_< keep x3 the ;;w;; wowd of promise to UwU ouw ear 
xDD And bweak >w< it to UwU ouw ^-^ hope. I'll nyot >w< fight with thee. 
:3 MACDUFF. UwU Then yield ÚwÚ thee, xDD cowawd, 
xDD And ^w^ wive to be x3 the x3 show ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ gaze ^.^ o' x3 the uWu time. 
^-^ We'ww uWu have ÚwÚ thee, >_< as UwU ouw ;;w;; wawew :3 monstews awe, 
OwO Painted ;;w;; upon :3 a >w< powe, ÚwÚ and undewwwit, 
"Hewe OwO may xDD you >_> see x3 the tywant." 
OwO MACBETH. UwU I xDD wiww nyot :33 yiewd, 
;;w;; To :3 kiss x3 the x3 gwound >w< befowe xDD young OwO Mawcowm's ^.^ feet, 
xDD And to be OwO baited with x3 the >_> wabbwe's cuwse. 
;;w;; Though Birnam OwO Wood be come to :33 Dunsinyanye, 
xDD And xDD thou ^w^ opposed, ^.^ being of nyo OwO woman born, 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I xDD wiww >_> twy x3 the last. ^.^ Befowe x3 my >w< body 
UwU I ^-^ thwow x3 my warlike UwU shiewd! Way ;;w;; on, ^w^ Macduff, 
xDD And damn'd be ^.^ him :3 that xDD fiwst cries, >_< "Howd, enough!" 
Exeunt ;;w;; fighting. Alarums. 




>w< SCENyE xDD IX. 

>w< Wetweat. >w< Fwouwish. OwO Entew, with drum ÚwÚ and cowows, ^.^ Mawcowm, ;;w;; owd uWu Siwawd, Ross, 
x3 the othew Thanes, ÚwÚ and >w< Sowdiews. 

MAWCOWM. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 the ^w^ fwiends ^.^ we ;;w;; miss :3 wewe >_< safe arrived. 
;;w;; SIWAWD. ;;w;; Some ^w^ must OwO go ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and ^w^ yet, ^.^ by these UwU I see, 
^w^ So great :3 a day >_< as ÚwÚ this >_> is >_< cheapwy x3 bought. 
MAWCOWM. >_< Macduff >_> is :3 missing, ÚwÚ and x3 youw x3 nyobwe OwO son. 
:3 WOSS. uWu Youw x3 son, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> has paid :3 a ^w^ sowdiew's debt. 
>w< He >w< onwy >_< wived >_> but >w< tiww ^.^ he UwU was :3 a ^w^ man, 
uWu The which nyo :33 soonyew xDD had :33 his :3 pwowess >w< confiwm'd 
^w^ In x3 the ^w^ unshwinking :33 station :3 whewe ^.^ he :33 fought, 
OwO But ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man ^.^ he ÚwÚ died. 
;;w;; SIWAWD. UwU Then ^.^ he >_> is dead? 
:3 WOSS. Ay, ÚwÚ and ^.^ bwought x3 off x3 the >_> fiewd. uWu Youw cause of sorrow 
:3 Must nyot be measuwed ^.^ by :33 his ^.^ wowth, fow xDD then 
^.^ It hath nyo OwO end. 
;;w;; SIWAWD. xDD Had ^.^ he :33 his OwO huwts ;;w;; befowe? 
:3 WOSS. Ay, on x3 the front. 
;;w;; SIWAWD. Why >w< then, >_> God's soldier be OwO he! 
xDD Had UwU I >_< as UwU many xDD sons >_< as UwU I uWu have hairs, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ wish them to :3 a fairer death. 
xDD And UwU so :33 his knell >_> is >_< knyoww'd. 
MAWCOWM. He's ^.^ wowth ^.^ mowe >_> sowwow, 
xDD And :3 that I'll spend fow ^.^ him. 
;;w;; SIWAWD. He's ^.^ wowth nyo uWu mowe: 
^-^ They >_> say ^.^ he pawted weww ÚwÚ and paid :33 his scowe, 
xDD And UwU so ^w^ God be with x3 him! :3 Hewe x3 comes nyewew UwU comfowt. 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ Macduff, with >_> Macbeth's >_> head. 

:3 MACDUFF. >w< Haiw, OwO King, fow UwU so xDD thou art. ÚwÚ Behowd :3 whewe >w< stands 
uWu The usuwpew's uWu cuwsed >_> head. uWu The time >_> is >w< fwee. 
UwU I >_> see uWu thee ^.^ compass'd with >w< thy kingdom's uWu peaww 
:33 That speak x3 my salutation uWu in uWu theiw x3 minds, 
>_< Whose ^w^ voices UwU I ^.^ desiwe >_< awoud with ^-^ minye- 
>w< Haiw, ^w^ King of Scotland! 
uWu AWW. >w< Haiw, ^w^ King of Scotland! >w< Fwouwish. 
MAWCOWM. We UwU shaww nyot spend :3 a large expense of time 
^.^ Befowe ^.^ we weckon with x3 youw sevewaw loves 
xDD And >_< make >_> us even with OwO you. OwO My Thanes ÚwÚ and :3 kinsmen, 
ÚwÚ Hencefowth be >_> Eawws, x3 the xDD fiwst :3 that OwO evew :3 Scotwand 
^w^ In xDD such >w< an honyow named. x3 What's ^.^ mowe to UwU do, 
>_< Which ^.^ wouwd be ^-^ pwanted x3 nyewwy with x3 the time, 
;;w;; As x3 cawwing ^.^ home UwU ouw exiwed ^w^ fwiends ^.^ abwoad 
:33 That ^w^ fwed x3 the ^.^ snyawes of ÚwÚ watchfuw tywanny, 
:3 Pwoducing fowth x3 the UwU cwuew ministers 
Of ÚwÚ this >_< dead ;;w;; butchew ÚwÚ and :33 his fiend-like queen, 
UwU Who, >_< as UwU 'tis ^-^ thought, ^.^ by self ÚwÚ and :3 viowent ^.^ hands 
>w< Took x3 off her :33 wife; uWu this, ÚwÚ and >_> what needful >_> ewse 
:33 That ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; upon us, ^.^ by x3 the xDD gwace of Gwace 
We xDD wiww x3 pewfowm uWu in uWu measuwe, time, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; pwace. 
^w^ So thanks to aww uWu at >_> once ÚwÚ and to >_< each one, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ we invite to >_> see >_> us cwown'd uWu at Scone. 
>w< Fwouwish. :33 Exeunt. 
ÚwÚ -THE END- 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





>_> 1605 


MEASUWE ÚwÚ FOW MEASUWE 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

>_< VINCENTIO, x3 the >w< Duke 
^w^ ANGEWO, x3 the ^.^ Deputy 
:3 ESCAWUS, >w< an UwU ancient Lord 
:33 CWAUDIO, :3 a xDD young ÚwÚ gentweman 
LUCIO, :3 a ^.^ fantastic 
Two othew ^.^ wike ^.^ Gentwemen 
>w< VAWWIUS, :3 a gentweman, xDD sewvant to x3 the >w< Duke 
PWOVOST 
>_< THOMAS, >w< fwiaw 
>w< PETEW, >w< fwiaw 
^-^ A ^w^ JUSTICE 
>_> EWBOW, :3 a :33 simpwe ÚwÚ constabwe 
FROTH, :3 a >_< foowish ÚwÚ gentweman 
^w^ POMPEY, :3 a >_< cwown ÚwÚ and xDD sewvant to Mistress xDD Ovewdonye 
ABHORSON, >w< an executioner 
BAWNyAWDINyE, :3 a dissolute ÚwÚ pwisonyew 

xDD ISABEWWA, :3 sistew to OwO Cwaudio 
MARIANA, OwO betwothed to :3 Angewo 
>w< JUWIET, beloved of OwO Cwaudio 
FRANCISCA, :3 a nun 
xDD MISTWESS OVEWDONyE, :3 a ;;w;; bawd 

;;w;; Wowds, ^-^ Officews, uWu Citizens, :33 Boy, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Attendants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
OwO Viennya 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^w^ DUKE, :3 ESCAWUS, LORDS, ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

x3 DUKE. Escalus! 
>_< ESCAWUS. OwO My OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. Of guvwnment x3 the properties to ^w^ unfowd 
Wouwd xDD seem uWu in ;;w;; me t' affect ÚwÚ speech ÚwÚ and discouwse, 
Since UwU I ^w^ am put to ^.^ knyow :3 that x3 youw UwU own science 
Exceeds, uWu in :3 that, x3 the ^.^ wists of aww advice 
OwO My ÚwÚ stwength ^.^ can UwU give uWu you; xDD then nyo ^.^ mowe remains 
OwO But :3 that to x3 youw :33 sufficiency- >_< as x3 youw ^.^ wowth >_> is able- 
xDD And wet them >w< wowk. uWu The ÚwÚ nyatuwe of UwU ouw >_> peopwe, 
Our ^.^ city's >_< institutions, ÚwÚ and x3 the terms 
For ^w^ common justice, ;;w;; y'awe >_< as x3 pwegnyant uWu in 
;;w;; As awt ÚwÚ and pwactice hath enriched xDD any 
:33 That ^.^ we ^.^ wemembew. >_> Thewe >_> is UwU ouw xDD commission, 
Fwom which ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have xDD you ;;w;; wawp. ;;w;; Caww hithew, 
UwU I say, bid come >w< befowe us, Angewo. uWu Exit >w< an uWu ATTENDANT 
>_> What xDD figuwe of >_> us think xDD you ^.^ he xDD wiww UwU beaw? 
For xDD you ^w^ must ^.^ knyow ^.^ we uWu have with >_> speciaw :3 souw 
uWu Ewected ^.^ him UwU ouw >w< absence to ^.^ suppwy; 
^-^ Went ^.^ him UwU ouw >w< tewwow, dwess'd ^.^ him with UwU ouw xDD wuv, 
xDD And UwU given :33 his UwU deputation aww x3 the >_< owgans 
Of UwU ouw UwU own UwU powew. >_> What think xDD you of :33 it? 
>_< ESCAWUS. ;;w;; If xDD any uWu in OwO Viennya be of ^.^ wowth 
;;w;; To ^w^ undewgo xDD such uWu ampwe xDD gwace ÚwÚ and honyouw, 
^.^ It >_> is Lord Angewo. 

Entew ANGEWO 

x3 DUKE. Wook :3 whewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 
OwO ANGEWO. Always obedient to x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's :33 wiww, 
UwU I come to ^.^ knyow x3 youw pleasure. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Angewo, 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a uWu kind of character uWu in >w< thy >w< wife 
:33 That to x3 th' ;;w;; obsewvew xDD doth >w< thy :33 histowy 
Fuwwy UwU unfowd. ^.^ Thysewf ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_> bewongings 
^w^ Awe nyot ^.^ thinye UwU own UwU so OwO pwopew >_< as to uWu waste 
^.^ Thysewf ;;w;; upon >w< thy viwtues, ;;w;; they on thee. 
uWu Heaven xDD doth with >_> us >_< as ^.^ we with torches UwU do, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< wight them fow themselves; fow >_> if UwU ouw uWu viwtues 
Did nyot OwO go fowth of us, >w< 'twewe aww :33 awike 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ we xDD had them not. Spirits OwO awe nyot UwU finyewy touch'd 
OwO But to OwO finye xDD issues; nor ÚwÚ Nyatuwe >_< nyevew wends 
uWu The xDD smawwest :33 scwupwe of her excewwence 
But, ^.^ wike :3 a :33 thwifty xDD goddess, ^.^ she determines 
>w< Hewsewf x3 the :3 gwowy of :3 a :3 cweditow, 
UwU Both thanks ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ use. OwO But UwU I UwU do >w< bend x3 my ÚwÚ speech 
;;w;; To one :3 that ^.^ can x3 my ÚwÚ pawt uWu in ^.^ him advertise. 
UwU Howd, OwO thewefowe, ^-^ Angewo- 
^w^ In UwU ouw remove be xDD thou uWu at full ;;w;; ouwsewf; 
Mortality ÚwÚ and xDD mewcy uWu in OwO Viennya 
Wive uWu in >w< thy >_> tongue ÚwÚ and ;;w;; heawt. ^-^ Owd >_> Escawus, 
;;w;; Though xDD fiwst uWu in ^.^ question, >_> is >w< thy secondary. 
^.^ Take >w< thy xDD commission. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, 
Let there be x3 some ^.^ mowe test UwU made of x3 my :33 metaw, 
^.^ Befowe UwU so x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and UwU so great :3 a xDD figuwe 
^w^ Be stamp'd ;;w;; upon :3 it. 
x3 DUKE. No ^.^ mowe evasion! 
We uWu have with :3 a leaven'd ÚwÚ and ^w^ pwepawed UwU choice 
Proceeded to uWu you; >_< thewefowe OwO take x3 youw >_< honyouws. 
Our ^.^ haste from >w< hence >_> is of UwU so ^w^ quick condition 
:33 That >w< it prefers itself, ÚwÚ and >w< weaves unquestion'd 
>_> Mattews of needful vawue. We UwU shaww >w< wwite to UwU you, 
;;w;; As time ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ^w^ concewnyings UwU shaww importune, 
How >w< it xDD goes with us, ÚwÚ and UwU do wook to ^.^ knyow 
>_> What xDD doth befaww xDD you hewe. So, ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
;;w;; To x3 th' hopeful :33 execution UwU do UwU I OwO weave xDD you 
Of x3 youw UwU commissions. 
OwO ANGEWO. ÚwÚ Yet UwU give weave, x3 my uWu wowd, 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO may ;;w;; bwing xDD you ^-^ something on x3 the >_> way. 
x3 DUKE. OwO My ^.^ haste OwO may nyot ^w^ admit uWu it; 
x3 Nyow >_< nyeed UwU you, on >_< minye honyouw, uWu have to UwU do 
With xDD any >_< scwupwe: x3 youw ;;w;; scope >_> is >_< as >_< minye OwO own, 
^w^ So to enforce ow OwO quawify x3 the UwU waws 
;;w;; As to x3 youw :3 souw ;;w;; seems UwU good. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw xDD hand; 
I'll pwiviwy xDD away. UwU I wuv x3 the >_> peopwe, 
OwO But UwU do nyot ^.^ wike to stage ;;w;; me to uWu theiw eyes; 
;;w;; Though >w< it UwU do weww, UwU I UwU do nyot wewish weww 
^-^ Theiw ÚwÚ woud >_< appwause ÚwÚ and xDD Aves vehement; 
x3 Nyow UwU do UwU I think x3 the x3 man of >_< safe discretion 
:33 That does affect :3 it. Once >_> mowe, ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
OwO ANGEWO. uWu The heavens UwU give :33 safety to x3 youw purposes! 
>_< ESCAWUS. xDD Wead fowth ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing xDD you back uWu in happiness! 
x3 DUKE. UwU I >_> thank OwO you. >w< Fawe xDD you well. uWu Exit 
>_< ESCAWUS. UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ desiwe UwU you, ^w^ siw, to UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave 
;;w;; To uWu have fwee ÚwÚ speech with uWu you; ÚwÚ and >w< it uWu concewns ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To wook x3 into x3 the :3 bottom of x3 my pwace: 
^-^ A pow'w UwU I have, >_> but of >_> what ÚwÚ stwength ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot yet x3 instwucted. 
OwO ANGEWO. 'Tis UwU so with x3 me. Let >_> us >_< withdwaw together, 
xDD And ^.^ we OwO may >w< soon UwU ouw >_< satisfaction uWu have 
:3 Touching :3 that point. 
>_< ESCAWUS. I'll wait ;;w;; upon x3 youw honyouw. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew Lucio ÚwÚ and >w< two othew ^-^ GENTWEMEN 

LUCIO. ;;w;; If x3 the ;;w;; Duke, with x3 the othew dukes, come nyot to composition 
with x3 the ^w^ King of OwO Hungawy, >w< why xDD then aww x3 the >_< dukes faww ;;w;; upon x3 the 
;;w;; King. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. uWu Heaven gwant >_> us OwO its ÚwÚ peace, >_> but nyot x3 the ^w^ King of 
:33 Hungawy's! 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ÚwÚ Amen. 
LUCIO. ^.^ Thou xDD concwud'st ^.^ wike x3 the ;;w;; sanctimonyious pirate :3 that OwO went to 
sea with x3 the uWu Ten :3 Commandments, >_> but >_< scwap'd one x3 out of x3 the ;;w;; tabwe. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ;;w;; 'Thou shalt nyot >_< steaw'? 
LUCIO. Ay, :3 that ^.^ he ;;w;; waz'd. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Why, uWu 'twas :3 a commandment to ÚwÚ command x3 the UwU captain 
ÚwÚ and aww x3 the xDD west from uWu theiw OwO functions: ;;w;; they put fowth to :33 steaw. 
>_> Thewe's nyot :3 a soldier of >_> us aww :3 that, uWu in x3 the >_> thanksgiving >w< befowe 
meat, UwU do wewish x3 the x3 petition weww :3 that prays fow peace. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I >_< nyevew heard xDD any soldier :33 diswike :3 it. 
LUCIO. UwU I ^-^ bewieve ÚwÚ thee; fow UwU I think xDD thou >_< nyevew >w< wast :3 whewe xDD gwace UwU was 
UwU said. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. uWu Nyo? ^-^ A ^.^ dozen times uWu at weast. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. What, uWu in UwU metwe? 
LUCIO. ^w^ In xDD any :33 pwopowtion ow uWu in xDD any >_> wanguage. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I >_< think, ow uWu in xDD any ^-^ wewigion. 
LUCIO. Ay, >w< why ^w^ nyot? Gwace >_> is gwace, ;;w;; despite of aww controversy; as, 
fow ^w^ exampwe, xDD thou >w< thysewf awt :3 a wicked villain, ;;w;; despite of aww 
grace. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. xDD Weww, there OwO went >_> but :3 a :33 paiw of uWu sheaws ^-^ between >_> us. 
LUCIO. UwU I x3 gwant; >_< as there OwO may ^-^ between x3 the ^.^ wists ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu vewvet. 
^.^ Thou awt x3 the list. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. xDD And xDD thou x3 the :33 vewvet; xDD thou awt ÚwÚ good :33 vewvet; >w< thou'wt 
:3 a >w< thwee-piw'd >_< piece, UwU I :33 wawwant thee. UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief be :3 a ÚwÚ wist of 
>w< an :3 Engwish >w< kewsey >_< as be >_> piw'd, >_< as xDD thou awt >_> piw'd, fow :3 a OwO Fwench 
uWu vewvet. Do UwU I speak feelingly ^.^ nyow? 
LUCIO. UwU I think xDD thou dost; x3 and, :33 indeed, with UwU most >w< painfuw :33 feewing of 
>w< thy :33 speech. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 out of ^.^ thinye UwU own x3 confession, :3 weawn to x3 begin 
>w< thy health; but, whiwst UwU I x3 wive, x3 fowget to ÚwÚ dwink ÚwÚ aftew thee. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I think UwU I uWu have donye mysewf wwong, uWu have UwU I ^w^ nyot? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. Yes, :3 that xDD thou ÚwÚ hast, >w< whethew xDD thou awt xDD tainted ow 
>w< fwee. 

Entew xDD MISTWESS ^w^ OVEWDONyE 

LUCIO. UwU Behowd, behowd, :3 whewe >w< Madam :33 Mitigation comes! UwU I uWu have 
>w< puwchas'd >_< as UwU many ^-^ diseases :33 undew her ÚwÚ woof >_< as come xDD to- 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ;;w;; To x3 what, UwU I pway? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ^w^ Judge. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ;;w;; To >w< thwee thousand dowouws :3 a year. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Ay, ÚwÚ and more. 
LUCIO. ^-^ A OwO Fwench >_< cwown more. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ^.^ Thou awt awways ^w^ figuwing ^-^ diseases uWu in uWu me, >_> but xDD thou 
awt full of error; UwU I ^w^ am UwU sound. 
LUCIO. Nyay, >_> nyot, >_< as one ^.^ wouwd say, heawthy; >_> but UwU so >_> sound >_< as ^.^ things 
:3 that OwO awe howwow: >w< thy bones OwO awe :33 howwow; OwO impiety >_> has UwU made :3 a >_> feast 
of thee. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. How >_< nyow! which of x3 youw ^.^ hips >_> has x3 the UwU most profound 
>w< sciatica? 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. xDD Weww, OwO weww! there's one yonder awwested ÚwÚ and cawwied 
to :3 pwison UwU was ^.^ wowth five thousand of xDD you all. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Who's :3 that, UwU I pray thee? 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, ^w^ that's Claudio, :33 Signyiow ^-^ Cwaudio. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO Cwaudio to UwU pwison? 'Tis nyot :3 so. 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. Nyay, >_> but UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis so: UwU I saw ^.^ him arrested; saw ^.^ him 
cawwied :3 away; x3 and, which >_> is >_> mowe, within these >w< thwee OwO days :33 his 
>_> head to be >w< chopp'd off. 
LUCIO. But, ÚwÚ aftew aww ÚwÚ this foowing, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have >w< it :3 so. Awt 
xDD thou >_< suwe of :3 this? 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too >_< suwe of uWu it; ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is fow UwU getting >w< Madam 
Julietta with :33 chiwd. 
LUCIO. :3 Bewieve uWu me, ÚwÚ this OwO may be; ^.^ he pwomis'd to :3 meet ;;w;; me >w< two >_> houws 
since, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU was OwO evew OwO pwecise uWu in :3 pwomise-keeping. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. :33 Besides, xDD you knyow, >w< it ÚwÚ dwaws ^-^ something nyeaw to x3 the 
ÚwÚ speech ^.^ we xDD had to xDD such :3 a puwpose. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO But UwU most of aww :33 agweeing with x3 the xDD pwocwamation. 
LUCIO. UwU Away; >_> wet's OwO go :3 weawn x3 the uWu twuth of :3 it. 
Exeunt Lucio ÚwÚ and ^-^ GENTWEMEN 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. Thus, >_> what with x3 the waw, >_> what with x3 the >_> sweat, >_> what 
with x3 the ;;w;; gawwows, ÚwÚ and >_> what with puvwty, UwU I ^w^ am custom-shwunk. 

Entew POMPEY 

How >_< nyow! UwU what's x3 the nyews with you? 
uWu POMPEY. Yondew x3 man >_> is cawwied to x3 pwison. 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. xDD Weww, >_> what >_> has ^.^ he done? 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ A uWu woman. 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. OwO But UwU what's :33 his x3 offence? 
uWu POMPEY. Gwoping fow trouts uWu in :3 a peculiar river. 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. What! >_> is there :3 a >_< maid with chiwd ^.^ by him? 
uWu POMPEY. No; >_> but there's :3 a OwO woman with >_< maid ^.^ by ^.^ him. >_> You uWu have nyot 
heard of x3 the >_> pwocwamation, uWu have you? 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. >_> What >_> pwocwamation, man? 
uWu POMPEY. All xDD houses uWu in x3 the suburbs of OwO Viennya ^w^ must be ^w^ pwuck'd down. 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. xDD And >_> what UwU shaww :33 become of UwU those uWu in x3 the ^-^ city? 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ They UwU shaww stand fow ;;w;; seed; ;;w;; they xDD had >_> gonye down :3 too, >_> but :3 that 
:3 a uWu wise ÚwÚ buwghew put uWu in fow OwO them. 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. OwO But UwU shaww aww UwU ouw xDD houses of xDD wesowt uWu in x3 the suburbs be 
pull'd down? 
uWu POMPEY. ;;w;; To x3 the ground, ^w^ mistwess. 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. Why, hewe's :3 a change ÚwÚ indeed uWu in x3 the OwO commonweawth! 
>_> What UwU shaww :33 become of me? 
uWu POMPEY. ^.^ Come, feaw nyot xDD you: ÚwÚ good ;;w;; counsewwows ^.^ wack nyo clients. 
;;w;; Though xDD you change x3 youw :33 pwace xDD you >_< nyeed nyot change x3 youw ÚwÚ twade; I'll 
be x3 youw tapster xDD stiww. OwO Couwage, there xDD wiww be pity :33 taken on uWu you; 
xDD you :3 that uWu have wown x3 youw eyes almost x3 out uWu in x3 the sewvice, xDD you xDD wiww 
be considered. 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. x3 What's to UwU do UwU hewe, Thomas Tapstew? :3 Wet's uWu withdwaw. 
uWu POMPEY. :3 Hewe x3 comes :33 Signyiow Claudio, x3 wed ^.^ by x3 the :33 pwovost to prison; 
ÚwÚ and there's >w< Madam Juliet. Exeunt 

Entew :33 PWOVOST, :33 CWAUDIO, >w< JUWIET, ÚwÚ and ^-^ OFFICEWS; 
WUCIO fowwowing 

CLAUDIO. ÚwÚ Fewwow, >w< why dost xDD thou x3 show ;;w;; me OwO thus to x3 th' :33 wowwd? 
ÚwÚ Beaw ;;w;; me to pwison, :3 whewe UwU I ^w^ am :33 committed. 
UwU PWOVOST. UwU I UwU do >w< it nyot uWu in eviw uWu disposition, 
OwO But from Lord :3 Angewo ^.^ by >_> speciaw chawge. 
CLAUDIO. ^-^ Thus ^.^ can x3 the ^-^ demigod Authowity 
^-^ Make >_> us x3 pay down fow UwU ouw offence ^.^ by >_> weight 
uWu The wowds of ^-^ heaven: on ÚwÚ whom >w< it :33 wiww, >w< it :33 wiww; 
On ÚwÚ whom >w< it xDD wiww >_> nyot, so; yet still UwU 'tis ;;w;; just. 
LUCIO. Why, >w< how now, Claudio, >_> whence x3 comes ÚwÚ this westwaint? 
CLAUDIO. Fwom ^w^ too much >w< wibewty, x3 my uWu Wucio, xDD wibewty; 
;;w;; As suwfeit >_> is x3 the >w< fathew of much OwO fast, 
^w^ So every ;;w;; scope ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ immodewate use 
Tuwns to westwaint. Our natures UwU do pursue, 
Wike OwO wats :3 that ravin down uWu theiw OwO pwopew x3 banye, 
^-^ A ^.^ thiwsty >_> eviw; ÚwÚ and when ^.^ we ÚwÚ dwink ^.^ we die. 
LUCIO. ;;w;; If UwU I couwd speak UwU so wisely :33 undew >w< an x3 awwest, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> send fow 
xDD cewtain of x3 my ^-^ cweditows; ÚwÚ and ^w^ yet, to >_> say x3 the truth, UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief 
uWu have x3 the foppewy of OwO fweedom >_< as x3 the ^-^ mowawity of UwU impwisonment. 
x3 What's >w< thy ^-^ offence, Cwaudio? 
CLAUDIO. >_> What >_> but to speak of ^.^ wouwd ^-^ offend ;;w;; again. 
LUCIO. What, :3 is't >_> muwdew? 
CLAUDIO. No. 
LUCIO. Lechery? 
CLAUDIO. ;;w;; Caww >w< it :3 so. 
UwU PWOVOST. :33 Away, siw; xDD you ^w^ must ÚwÚ go. 
CLAUDIO. x3 Onye word, ÚwÚ good :3 fwiend. uWu Wucio, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
LUCIO. ^-^ A ^-^ hundwed, >_> if they'ww UwU do xDD you xDD any UwU good. Is lechery UwU so >_> wook'd 
>w< aftew? 
CLAUDIO. ^-^ Thus >w< stands >w< it with ;;w;; me: ;;w;; upon :3 a true ÚwÚ contwact 
UwU I ^w^ got >w< possession of >_> Juwietta's :3 bed. 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the ;;w;; wady; ^.^ she >_> is ÚwÚ fast x3 my :3 wife, 
:3 Save :3 that ^.^ we UwU do x3 the ^-^ denyunciation ^.^ wack 
Of :33 outwawd ;;w;; owdew; ÚwÚ this ^.^ we ^-^ came nyot ^.^ to, 
Onwy fow pwopagation of :3 a ÚwÚ dow'w 
xDD Wemainying uWu in x3 the x3 coffew of her fwiends. 
Fwom ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we xDD thought >w< it :3 meet to hide UwU ouw wuv 
Tiww time xDD had UwU made them fow >_> us. OwO But >w< it chances 
uWu The uWu steawth of UwU ouw UwU most ^-^ mutuaw ^w^ entewtainment, 
With character ^w^ too >w< gwoss, >_> is ^-^ wwit on Juliet. 
LUCIO. With child, :33 pewhaps? 
CLAUDIO. :3 Unhappiwy, even :3 so. 
xDD And x3 the x3 nyew OwO deputy nyow fow x3 the Duke- 
Whethew >w< it be x3 the ;;w;; fauwt ÚwÚ and glimpse of >w< nyewnyess, 
:33 Ow >w< whethew :3 that x3 the >w< body public be 
^-^ A UwU howse wheweon x3 the guvwnyow xDD doth ride, 
UwU Who, x3 nyewwy uWu in x3 the >w< seat, :3 that >w< it OwO may ^.^ knyow 
>w< He ^.^ can >_> command, wets >w< it ^w^ stwaight x3 feew x3 the UwU spuw; 
Whethew x3 the uWu tywanny be uWu in :33 his pwace, 
:33 Ow uWu in :33 his eminence :3 that ^.^ fiwws >w< it up, 
UwU I ÚwÚ staggew ^.^ in. OwO But ÚwÚ this x3 nyew guvwnyow 
:3 Awakes ;;w;; me aww x3 the >_> enwowwed :3 penyawties 
>_< Which have, ^.^ wike unscour'd awmouw, UwU hung ^.^ by x3 th' waww 
^w^ So ^-^ wong :3 that nineteen UwU zodiacs uWu have >_> gonye ;;w;; wound 
xDD And >_< nyonye of them :33 been ÚwÚ wown; x3 and, fow :3 a :33 nyame, 
Now puts x3 the ^-^ dwowsy ÚwÚ and neglected ;;w;; act 
Fweshwy on x3 me. 'Tis x3 suwewy fow :3 a nyame. 
LUCIO. UwU I :33 wawwant >w< it is; ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_> head >w< stands UwU so tickwe on >w< thy 
^w^ shouwdews :3 that :3 a >_> miwkmaid, >_> if ^.^ she be uWu in xDD wuv, OwO may x3 sigh >w< it off. 
>_< Send ÚwÚ aftew x3 the ;;w;; Duke, ÚwÚ and appeaw to ^.^ him. 
CLAUDIO. UwU I uWu have donye >_> so, >_> but uWu he's nyot to be uWu found. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, uWu Wucio, UwU do ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this uWu kind UwU sewvice: 
This day x3 my :3 sistew >_> shouwd x3 the >w< cwoistew ÚwÚ entew, 
xDD And there receive her OwO appwobation; 
:3 Acquaint her with x3 the danger of x3 my ^w^ state; 
UwU Impwowe hew, uWu in x3 my voice, :3 that ^.^ she >_< make ^w^ fwiends 
;;w;; To x3 the :3 stwict x3 deputy; bid herself OwO assay ^.^ him. 
UwU I uWu have great UwU hope uWu in :33 that; fow uWu in her :33 youth 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a prone ÚwÚ and speechwess dialect 
>w< Such >_< as move ÚwÚ men; ÚwÚ beside, ^.^ she hath :33 pwospewous awt 
x3 When ^.^ she xDD wiww :33 pway with reason ÚwÚ and discouwse, 
xDD And weww ^.^ she ^.^ can pewsuade. 
LUCIO. UwU I pray ^.^ she ;;w;; may; >_< as weww fow x3 the encouragement of x3 the :3 wike, 
which >_> ewse ^.^ wouwd stand :33 undew ;;w;; gwievous uWu imposition, >_< as fow x3 the 
enjoying of >w< thy :3 wife, who UwU I ^.^ wouwd be sowwy >_> shouwd be OwO thus 
;;w;; foowishwy wost uWu at :3 a game of UwU tick-tack. I'll to her. 
CLAUDIO. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, ÚwÚ good :33 fwiend Wucio. 
LUCIO. OwO Within >w< two hours. 
CLAUDIO. ^.^ Come, officer, xDD away. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A UwU monyastewy 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ and UwU FWIAW THOMAS 

x3 DUKE. :3 Nyo, >w< howy father; ^-^ thwow OwO away :3 that thought; 
:3 Bewieve nyot :3 that x3 the dwibbwing ^.^ dawt of wuv 
UwU Can xDD piewce :3 a complete ÚwÚ bosom. Why UwU I ^.^ desiwe uWu thee 
;;w;; To UwU give ;;w;; me secret uWu hawbouw hath :3 a OwO puwpose 
uWu Mowe :3 gwave ÚwÚ and wwinkwed than x3 the >_< aims ÚwÚ and uWu ends 
Of ^.^ buwnying >_< youth. 
>_< FWIAW. ^-^ May x3 youw Gwace speak of :33 it? 
x3 DUKE. OwO My >w< howy ^w^ siw, >_< nyonye xDD bettew xDD knyows than xDD you 
How UwU I uWu have OwO evew :3 wov'd x3 the >w< wife ^.^ wemuvd, 
xDD And hewd uWu in idle pwice to >_> haunt assemblies 
Whewe youth, ÚwÚ and >w< cost, :3 a witless ÚwÚ bwavewy :33 keeps. 
UwU I uWu have :33 dewivew'd to Lord ^w^ Angewo, 
^-^ A x3 man of UwU stwictuwe ÚwÚ and >w< fiwm abstinence, 
OwO My ^w^ absowute powew ÚwÚ and :33 pwace OwO hewe uWu in ^.^ Viennya, 
xDD And ^.^ he supposes ;;w;; me ^w^ twaveww'd to Powand; 
For UwU so UwU I uWu have UwU stwew'd >w< it uWu in x3 the ^w^ common eaw, 
xDD And UwU so >w< it >_> is x3 weceived. >_> Nyow, :33 pious ^w^ siw, 
>_> You xDD wiww ;;w;; demand of ;;w;; me >w< why UwU I UwU do UwU this. 
>_< FWIAW. Gwadwy, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. We uWu have :3 stwict x3 statutes ÚwÚ and UwU most OwO biting ^-^ waws, 
uWu The needful UwU bits ÚwÚ and curbs to headstrong ;;w;; steeds, 
>_< Which fow ÚwÚ this ^.^ fouwteen years ^.^ we uWu have wet slip; 
Even ^.^ wike >w< an >_< o'ewgwown wion uWu in :3 a >_< cave, 
:33 That xDD goes nyot x3 out to pwey. >_> Nyow, >_< as fond fathers, 
>_> Having bound x3 up x3 the threat'ning :33 twigs of ^w^ biwch, 
Onwy to OwO stick >w< it uWu in uWu theiw chiwdwen's ^.^ sight 
For >w< tewwow, nyot to ^.^ use, uWu in time x3 the wod 
>_> Becomes ^.^ mowe mock'd than feaw'd; UwU so UwU ouw decwees, 
Dead to infwiction, to x3 themsewves OwO awe UwU dead; 
xDD And ^w^ wibewty OwO pwucks justice ^.^ by x3 the nose; 
uWu The baby ÚwÚ beats x3 the xDD nyuwse, ÚwÚ and quite :3 athwawt 
x3 Goes aww :33 decowum. 
>_< FWIAW. ^.^ It UwU wested uWu in x3 youw Gwace 
;;w;; To unwoose ÚwÚ this ;;w;; tied-up justice when xDD you OwO pweas'd; 
xDD And >w< it uWu in xDD you ^.^ mowe :3 dweadfuw ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^w^ seem'd 
Than uWu in Lord Angewo. 
x3 DUKE. UwU I UwU do ;;w;; feaw, ^w^ too >_> dweadfuw. 
Sith uWu 'twas x3 my ;;w;; fauwt to UwU give x3 the OwO peopwe >w< scope, 
;;w;; 'Twouwd be x3 my uWu tywanny to strike ÚwÚ and ^.^ gaww them 
For >_> what UwU I bid them do; fow ^.^ we bid ÚwÚ this be :33 donye, 
x3 When eviw >_< deeds uWu have uWu theiw permissive pass 
xDD And nyot x3 the punyishment. >_< Thewefowe, :33 indeed, x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
UwU I uWu have on :3 Angewo >w< impos'd x3 the office; 
Who may, uWu in x3 th' ^-^ ambush of x3 my :33 nyame, strike ^.^ home, 
xDD And yet x3 my ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_< nyevew uWu in x3 the >w< fight 
;;w;; To UwU do uWu in uWu swandew. xDD And to behowd :33 his sway, 
UwU I :33 wiww, >_< as >w< 'twewe :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew of x3 youw order, 
Visit both >_> pwince ÚwÚ and ^-^ peopwe. >_< Thewefowe, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, 
uWu Suppwy ;;w;; me with x3 the habit, ÚwÚ and instwuct ;;w;; me 
How UwU I OwO may x3 fowmawwy uWu in ÚwÚ pewson UwU beaw ;;w;; me 
Wike :3 a true fwiaw. >w< Moe weasons fow ÚwÚ this uWu action 
At UwU ouw ^.^ mowe leisure UwU shaww UwU I render OwO you. 
>w< Onwy, ÚwÚ this onye: Lord :3 Angewo >_> is uWu pwecise; 
Stands uWu at :3 a xDD guawd with xDD envy; scawce ^w^ confesses 
:33 That :33 his :3 bwood fwows, ow :3 that :33 his xDD appetite 
Is ^.^ mowe to ^.^ bwead than uWu stonye. OwO Hence UwU shaww ^.^ we see, 
;;w;; If powew change xDD puwpose, >_> what UwU ouw ^w^ seemews >w< be. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
^-^ A nunnery 

Entew >_> ISABEWWA ÚwÚ and FWANCISCA 

>w< ISABEWWA. xDD And uWu have xDD you ^-^ nyuns nyo ^-^ fawthew pwiviweges? 
uWu FWANCISCA. ^w^ Awe nyot these large enough? 
>w< ISABEWWA. Yes, ÚwÚ twuwy; UwU I speak nyot >_< as desiring >_> mowe, 
OwO But rather x3 wishing :3 a ^.^ mowe :3 stwict :3 westwaint 
>_> Upon x3 the >_> sistewhood, x3 the votawists of Saint UwU Cwawe. 
LUCIO. :3 [ ;;w;; Within] Ho! :3 Peace be uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ pwace! 
>w< ISABEWWA. Who's :3 that which cawws? 
uWu FWANCISCA. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a :33 man's voice. ^w^ Gentwe Isabewwa, 
Tuwn xDD you x3 the >_> key, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow :33 his business of :33 him: 
>_> You may, UwU I OwO may x3 nyot; xDD you OwO awe yet uWu unswown; 
x3 When xDD you uWu have ;;w;; vow'd, xDD you ^w^ must nyot speak with ;;w;; men 
OwO But uWu in x3 the x3 pwesence of x3 the uWu pwiowess; 
Then, >_> if xDD you :3 speak, xDD you ^w^ must nyot x3 show x3 youw >w< face, 
:3 Ow, >_> if xDD you x3 show x3 youw >w< face, xDD you ^w^ must nyot >_< speak. 
>w< He ;;w;; cawws again; UwU I pray xDD you answew ^.^ him. uWu Exit FWANCISCA 
>w< ISABEWWA. :3 Peace ÚwÚ and prosperity! Who :3 is't :3 that cawws? 

Entew WUCIO 

LUCIO. >w< Haiw, xDD viwgin, >_> if xDD you be, >_< as UwU those ^.^ cheek-woses 
ÚwÚ Pwocwaim xDD you OwO awe nyo :3 wess. UwU Can xDD you UwU so OwO stead ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me to x3 the ^.^ sight of Isabewwa, 
^-^ A ^w^ nyovice of ÚwÚ this pwace, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< faiw :3 sistew 
;;w;; To her xDD unhappy ÚwÚ bwothew Cwaudio? 
>w< ISABEWWA. Why her 'unhappy brother'? Let ;;w;; me ^w^ ask 
uWu The UwU wathew, fow UwU I nyow ^w^ must >_< make xDD you ^.^ knyow 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 that Isabewwa, ÚwÚ and :33 his sister. 
LUCIO. ^w^ Gentwe ÚwÚ and faiw, x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew ^-^ kindwy greets OwO you. 
ÚwÚ Nyot to be ÚwÚ weawy with UwU you, uWu he's uWu in x3 pwison. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ;;w;; Woe me! For UwU what? 
LUCIO. For :3 that ^w^ which, >_> if mysewf ^w^ might be :33 his ^w^ judge, 
>w< He >_> shouwd receive :33 his UwU punyishment uWu in :3 thanks: 
>w< He hath ^w^ got :33 his :33 fwiend with :33 chiwd. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU Siw, >_< make ;;w;; me nyot x3 youw ;;w;; stowy. 
LUCIO. ^.^ It >_> is true. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot- ^w^ though UwU 'tis x3 my ^.^ famiwiaw x3 sin 
With ^w^ maids to xDD seem x3 the wapwing, ÚwÚ and to ^.^ jest, 
OwO Tongue uWu faw from ÚwÚ heawt- :33 pway with aww viwgins so: 
UwU I howd xDD you >_< as :3 a ^.^ thing ;;w;; enskied ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ sainted, 
^-^ By x3 youw ^.^ wenyouncement >w< an :3 immowtaw ^-^ spiwit, 
xDD And to be ^w^ tawk'd with uWu in xDD sincewity, 
;;w;; As with :3 a >_< saint. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_> You UwU do ÚwÚ bwaspheme x3 the ÚwÚ good uWu in ^w^ mocking x3 me. 
LUCIO. Do nyot ^-^ bewieve :3 it. :33 Fewnyess ÚwÚ and truth, UwU 'tis thus: 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew ÚwÚ and :33 his wuvw uWu have >_> embwac'd. 
;;w;; As UwU those :3 that >w< feed gwow >_> fuww, >_< as blossoming time 
:33 That from x3 the seednyess x3 the OwO bawe ;;w;; fawwow >_< bwings 
;;w;; To teeming :3 foison, even UwU so her ^w^ pwenteous womb 
UwU Expwesseth :33 his full tilth ÚwÚ and husbandwy. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ;;w;; Some one with chiwd ^.^ by him? OwO My xDD cousin Juliet? 
LUCIO. Is ^.^ she x3 youw cousin? 
>w< ISABEWWA. Adoptedly, >_< as ;;w;; schoow-maids change uWu theiw nyames 
^-^ By :33 vain ^w^ though ^-^ apt OwO affection. 
LUCIO. :33 She >w< it >w< is. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_< O, wet ^.^ him marry >_> hew! 
LUCIO. This >_> is x3 the point. 
uWu The >w< Duke >_> is xDD vewy OwO stwangewy >_> gonye from OwO hence; 
^-^ Bowe UwU many xDD gentwemen, mysewf ^.^ being one, 
^w^ In uWu hand, ÚwÚ and UwU hope of ^.^ action; >_> but ^.^ we UwU do ÚwÚ weawn, 
^-^ By UwU those :3 that ^.^ knyow x3 the xDD vewy nerves of state, 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ givings-out :3 wewe of >w< an :3 infinyite ^w^ distance 
Fwom :33 his >w< twue-meant design. >_> Upon :33 his pwace, 
xDD And with full winye of :33 his ÚwÚ authowity, 
>_< Guvwns Lord ^w^ Angewo, :3 a x3 man x3 whose :3 bwood 
Is xDD vewy uWu snyow-bwoth, one who >_< nyevew feews 
uWu The >_< wanton ^w^ stings ÚwÚ and >w< motions of x3 the sense, 
OwO But xDD doth >w< webate ÚwÚ and >w< bwunt :33 his natural UwU edge 
With pwofits of x3 the UwU mind, ^-^ study ÚwÚ and uWu fast. 
xDD He- to UwU give feaw to use ÚwÚ and >w< wibewty, 
>_< Which uWu have fow ^-^ wong >w< wun ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ hideous waw, 
;;w;; As ^.^ mice ^.^ by >w< wions- hath pick'd x3 out >w< an ;;w;; act 
;;w;; Undew x3 whose x3 heavy sense x3 youw brother's >w< wife 
Fawws x3 into x3 fowfeit; ^.^ he ÚwÚ awwests ^.^ him on :33 it, 
xDD And xDD fowwows ^-^ cwose x3 the uWu wigouw of x3 the statute 
;;w;; To >_< make ^.^ him >w< an example. All UwU hope >_> is >w< gonye, 
OwO Unwess xDD you uWu have x3 the xDD gwace ^.^ by x3 youw >w< faiw :3 pwayew 
;;w;; To :33 soften Angewo. xDD And ^w^ that's x3 my ÚwÚ pith of business 
UwU 'Twixt xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 youw poor ^-^ bwothew. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^-^ Doth ^.^ he UwU so >_> seek :33 his :33 wife? 
LUCIO. x3 Has censur'd ^.^ him 
uWu Awweady, x3 and, >_< as UwU I heaw, x3 the Provost hath 
^-^ A :33 wawwant fow :33 his xDD execution. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^-^ Awas! >_> what poor ability's uWu in ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To UwU do ^.^ him good? 
LUCIO. Assay x3 the pow'w xDD you :3 have. 
>w< ISABEWWA. OwO My x3 powew, :3 awas, UwU I >_> doubt! 
LUCIO. Our xDD doubts OwO awe :3 twaitows, 
xDD And >_< make >_> us wose x3 the ÚwÚ good ^.^ we ;;w;; oft ^w^ might x3 win 
^-^ By feawing to attempt. Go to Lord ^w^ Angewo, 
xDD And wet ^.^ him :3 weawn to knyow, when ^.^ maidens >_< sue, 
OwO Men UwU give ^.^ wike gods; >_> but when ;;w;; they xDD weep ÚwÚ and :33 knyeew, 
All uWu theiw ^-^ petitions OwO awe >_< as freely theirs 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they x3 themsewves ^.^ wouwd >_> owe OwO them. 
>w< ISABEWWA. I'll >_> see >_> what UwU I ^.^ can xDD do. 
LUCIO. OwO But :3 speediwy. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I xDD wiww about >w< it >_< stwaight; 
No longer ^.^ staying >_> but to UwU give x3 the Mother 
x3 Nyotice of x3 my ÚwÚ affaiw. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank OwO you. 
>_< Commend ;;w;; me to x3 my bwothew; >w< soon uWu at >w< nyight 
I'll >_> send ^.^ him xDD cewtain ;;w;; wowd of x3 my OwO success. 
LUCIO. UwU I OwO take x3 my OwO weave of OwO you. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, ^w^ adieu. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT UwU II. Scene ^.^ I. 
^-^ A ^-^ haww uWu in :33 ANGEWO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ^w^ ANGEWO, :3 ESCAWUS, :3 a JUSTICE, :33 PWOVOST, ^w^ OFFICEWS, ÚwÚ and othew OwO ATTENDANTS 

OwO ANGEWO. We ^w^ must nyot >_< make :3 a >w< scawecwow of x3 the waw, 
Setting >w< it x3 up to feaw x3 the xDD biwds of ^.^ pwey, 
xDD And wet >w< it >_< keep one xDD shape >w< tiww ;;w;; custom >_< make >w< it 
^-^ Theiw uWu pewch, ÚwÚ and nyot uWu theiw terror. 
>_< ESCAWUS. Ay, >_> but yet 
Let >_> us be keen, ÚwÚ and rather :3 cut :3 a xDD wittwe 
Than faww ÚwÚ and bwuise to death. ^-^ Awas! ÚwÚ this gentweman, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 save, xDD had :3 a UwU most x3 nyobwe :33 fathew. 
Let >_> but x3 youw honour knyow, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I ^-^ bewieve to be UwU most stwait uWu in virtue, 
^.^ That, uWu in x3 the >w< wowking of x3 youw UwU own >_> affections, 
xDD Had time OwO cohew'd with pwace, ow :33 pwace with wishing, 
:33 Ow :3 that x3 the resolute >w< acting of UwU ouw :3 bwood 
Could uWu have ^w^ attain'd x3 th' ^w^ effect of x3 youw UwU own OwO puwpose 
Whethew xDD you xDD had nyot ÚwÚ sometime uWu in x3 youw >w< wife 
Err'd uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 point which nyow xDD you UwU censuwe :3 him, 
xDD And pull'd x3 the law ;;w;; upon OwO you. 
OwO ANGEWO. 'Tis one ^.^ thing to be x3 tempted, >_> Escawus, 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ^.^ thing to UwU faww. UwU I nyot UwU deny 
uWu The ÚwÚ juwy, passing on x3 the pwisonyew's :3 wife, 
^-^ May uWu in x3 the sworn >_< twewve uWu have :3 a UwU thief ow >w< two 
Guiwtiew than ^.^ him ;;w;; they >_> twy. x3 What's open UwU made to justice, 
:33 That justice ^w^ seizes. >_> What xDD knyows x3 the UwU waws 
:33 That thieves UwU do pass on UwU thieves? 'Tis xDD vewy pwegnyant, 
uWu The jewel :3 that ^.^ we ^w^ find, ^.^ we >_< stoop ÚwÚ and >_< take't, 
>_< Because ^.^ we >_> see uWu it; >_> but >_> what ^.^ we UwU do nyot >_> see 
We ;;w;; twead upon, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew think of :3 it. 
>_> You OwO may nyot UwU so extenyuate :33 his offence 
For UwU I uWu have xDD had xDD such fauwts; >_> but rather tell uWu me, 
x3 When I, :3 that UwU censuwe :3 him, UwU do UwU so xDD offend, 
Let >_< minye UwU own ^w^ judgment pattewn x3 out x3 my UwU death, 
xDD And >_< nyothing come uWu in ÚwÚ pawtiaw. UwU Siw, ^.^ he ^w^ must die. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^w^ Be >w< it >_< as x3 youw ^.^ wisdom :33 wiww. 
OwO ANGEWO. Whewe >_> is x3 the Provost? 
UwU PWOVOST. Here, >_> if >w< it ^.^ wike x3 youw honyouw. 
OwO ANGEWO. xDD See :3 that OwO Cwaudio 
^w^ Be executed ^.^ by >w< nyinye to-mowwow morning; 
Bring ^.^ him :33 his >w< confessow; wet ^.^ him be ^.^ pwepaw'd; 
For ^w^ that's x3 the utmost of :33 his ;;w;; piwgwimage. uWu Exit PWOVOST 
>_< ESCAWUS. :3 [Aside] xDD Weww, heaven :33 fowgive x3 him! ÚwÚ and :33 fowgive >_> us :33 aww! 
;;w;; Some rise ^.^ by ^w^ sin, ÚwÚ and x3 some ^.^ by viwtue uWu faww; 
;;w;; Some >w< wun from >_< bweaks of ice, ÚwÚ and answew nyonye, 
xDD And x3 some condemnyed fow :3 a ;;w;; fauwt >_< awonye. 

Entew ELBOW ÚwÚ and OFFICEWS with >_> FWOTH ÚwÚ and POMPEY 

;;w;; EWBOW. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing them :3 away; >_> if these be ÚwÚ good OwO peopwe uWu in :3 a 
>_< commonweaw :3 that UwU do >_< nyothing >_> but use uWu theiw abuses uWu in ^w^ common ^-^ houses, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyo UwU waw; ;;w;; bwing them xDD away. 
OwO ANGEWO. How now, sir! x3 What's x3 youw :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
;;w;; EWBOW. ;;w;; If >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw honyouw, UwU I ^w^ am x3 the poor Duke's constabwe, 
ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD nyame >_> is Ewbow; UwU I UwU do lean ;;w;; upon justice, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and UwU do ;;w;; bwing 
uWu in OwO hewe >w< befowe x3 youw ÚwÚ good honour >w< two :3 nyotowious >_> benyefactows. 
OwO ANGEWO. uWu Benyefactows! Weww- >_> what ^-^ benyefactows OwO awe >w< they? ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they nyot 
xDD mawefactows? 
;;w;; EWBOW. ;;w;; If >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw honyouw, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot weww >_> what ;;w;; they >_< awe; >_> but 
OwO pwecise x3 viwwains ;;w;; they awe, :3 that UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe :33 of, ÚwÚ and >_< void of aww 
pwofanyation uWu in x3 the wowwd :3 that ÚwÚ good Chwistians ought to :3 have. 
>_< ESCAWUS. This x3 comes x3 off well; hewe's :3 a uWu wise officer. 
OwO ANGEWO. Go >w< to; >_> what ;;w;; quawity OwO awe ;;w;; they UwU of? ÚwÚ Ewbow >_> is x3 youw :3 nyame? Why 
dost xDD thou nyot :3 speak, ;;w;; Ewbow? 
uWu POMPEY. >w< He cannot, siw; uWu he's x3 out uWu at :33 ewbow. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> What OwO awe UwU you, UwU siw? 
;;w;; EWBOW. ^-^ He, UwU siw? ^-^ A tapster, siw; ;;w;; pawcew-bawd; one :3 that sewves :3 a :33 bad 
>_< woman; x3 whose house, ^w^ siw, UwU was, >_< as ;;w;; they say, ^w^ pwuck'd down uWu in x3 the 
suburbs; ÚwÚ and nyow ^.^ she >_< pwofesses :3 a UwU hot-house, ^w^ which, UwU I >_< think, >_> is :3 a 
xDD vewy :33 iww ;;w;; house UwU too. 
>_< ESCAWUS. How ^.^ knyow xDD you ^-^ that? 
;;w;; EWBOW. OwO My >_< Wife, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ whom UwU I >w< detest >w< befowe heaven ÚwÚ and x3 youw ^w^ honyouw- 
>_< ESCAWUS. OwO How! >w< thy wife! 
;;w;; EWBOW. Ay, siw; ÚwÚ whom UwU I >_> thank ^.^ heaven, >_> is >w< an xDD honyest ^-^ woman- 
>_< ESCAWUS. uWu Dost xDD thou >w< detest her >w< thewefowe? 
;;w;; EWBOW. UwU I say, ^w^ siw, UwU I xDD wiww >w< detest mysewf xDD awso, >_< as weww >_< as uWu she, :3 that 
ÚwÚ this house, >_> if >w< it be nyot :3 a bawd's house, >w< it >_> is pity of her :3 wife, 
fow >w< it >_> is :3 a naughty ÚwÚ house. 
>_< ESCAWUS. How dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow :3 that, constabwe? 
;;w;; EWBOW. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, ^.^ by x3 my :33 wife; who, >_> if ^.^ she xDD had :33 been :3 a OwO woman 
:33 cawdinyawwy ^w^ given, ^w^ might uWu have :33 been ^-^ accus'd uWu in fownyication, 
^-^ aduwtewy, ÚwÚ and aww uWu uncweanwinyess :33 thewe. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^-^ By x3 the xDD woman's :3 means? 
;;w;; EWBOW. Ay, ^w^ siw, ^.^ by Mistress xDD Ovewdonye's uWu means; >_> but >_< as ^.^ she spit uWu in 
:33 his >w< face, UwU so ^.^ she ^-^ defied ^.^ him. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU Siw, >_> if >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw honyouw, ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot :3 so. 
;;w;; EWBOW. ^-^ Pwuv >w< it >w< befowe these varlets UwU hewe, xDD thou ^.^ honyouwabwe ^w^ man, 
^-^ pwuv :3 it. 
>_< ESCAWUS. Do xDD you hear >w< how ^.^ he >w< mispwaces? 
uWu POMPEY. UwU Siw, ^.^ she ^-^ came uWu in great with child; ÚwÚ and wonging, OwO saving x3 youw 
x3 honyouw's xDD wevewence, fow UwU stew'd >_< pwunyes. UwU Siw, ^.^ we xDD had >_> but >w< two uWu in x3 the 
house, which uWu at :3 that xDD vewy >w< distant time >_> stood, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, uWu in :3 a 
^w^ fwuit :33 dish, :3 a ^w^ dish of x3 some >w< thwee >_> pence; x3 youw honyouws uWu have :3 seen 
xDD such OwO dishes; ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot China UwU dishes, >_> but xDD vewy ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ dishes. 
>_< ESCAWUS. Go ^.^ to, OwO go >w< to; nyo ;;w;; mattew fow x3 the :33 dish, sir. 
uWu POMPEY. :3 Nyo, :33 indeed, ^w^ siw, nyot of :3 a UwU pin; xDD you OwO awe thewein uWu in x3 the 
right; >_> but to x3 the point. ;;w;; As UwU I say, ÚwÚ this Mistress Ewbow, x3 being, >_< as 
UwU I say, with child, ÚwÚ and ^.^ being ^w^ gweat-bewwied, ÚwÚ and wonging, >_< as UwU I 
said, fow ÚwÚ pwunyes; ÚwÚ and xDD having >_> but >w< two uWu in x3 the :33 dish, >_< as UwU I said, 
>_< Mastew Fwoth UwU hewe, ÚwÚ this xDD vewy ^w^ man, xDD having eaten x3 the ^-^ west, >_< as UwU I 
said, x3 and, >_< as UwU I say, ÚwÚ paying fow them xDD vewy >_< honyestwy; for, >_< as xDD you 
knyow, >_< Mastew Fwoth, UwU I couwd nyot UwU give xDD you >w< thwee uWu pence ^w^ again- 
>w< FWOTH. :3 Nyo, indeed. 
uWu POMPEY. Very well; xDD you ^.^ being >w< then, >_> if xDD you be rememb'red, cwacking 
x3 the ^.^ stonyes of x3 the xDD fowesaid ^-^ pwunyes- 
>w< FWOTH. Ay, UwU so UwU I uWu did indeed. 
uWu POMPEY. Why, xDD vewy well; UwU I :3 tewwing xDD you >w< then, >_> if xDD you be rememb'red, 
:3 that xDD such :3 a one ÚwÚ and xDD such :3 a one :3 wewe x3 past >w< cuwe of x3 the ^.^ thing xDD you 
uWu wot :33 of, ^w^ unwess ;;w;; they :33 kept xDD vewy ÚwÚ good ;;w;; diet, >_< as UwU I told :3 you- 
>w< FWOTH. All ÚwÚ this >_> is true. 
uWu POMPEY. Why, xDD vewy weww ^.^ then- 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^.^ Come, xDD you OwO awe :3 a tedious xDD foow. ;;w;; To x3 the >w< puwpose: >_> what UwU was 
donye to Elbow's >w< wife :3 that ^.^ he hath cause to :3 compwain UwU of? :3 Come ;;w;; me 
to >_> what UwU was donye to her. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU Siw, x3 youw honour ;;w;; cannyot come to :3 that >_> yet. 
>_< ESCAWUS. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, nor UwU I >_> mean >w< it not. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU Siw, >_> but xDD you UwU shaww come to :33 it, ^.^ by x3 youw x3 honyouw's >_< weave. ^.^ And, 
UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, wook x3 into >_< Mastew Fwoth UwU hewe, ^w^ siw, :3 a x3 man of 
^w^ fouwscowe ;;w;; pound :3 a yeaw; x3 whose >w< fathew >w< died uWu at Hawwowmas- :3 was't nyot 
uWu at >w< Hawwowmas, >_< Mastew Fwoth? 
>w< FWOTH. All-hallond eve. 
uWu POMPEY. Why, xDD vewy well; UwU I UwU hope OwO hewe be twuths. ^-^ He, ^w^ siw, :33 sitting, >_< as 
UwU I say, uWu in :3 a >_< wowew xDD chaiw, siw; uWu 'twas uWu in x3 the ^w^ Bunch of Grapes, 
where, :33 indeed, xDD you uWu have :3 a delight to ^.^ sit, uWu have xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
>w< FWOTH. UwU I uWu have so; uWu because >w< it >_> is >w< an open room, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good fow winter. 
uWu POMPEY. Why, xDD vewy weww :33 then; UwU I UwU hope OwO hewe be twuths. 
OwO ANGEWO. This xDD wiww >w< wast x3 out :3 a >w< nyight uWu in >w< Wussia, 
x3 When :33 nyights OwO awe xDD wongest uWu thewe; I'll OwO take x3 my weave, 
xDD And OwO weave xDD you to x3 the hearing of x3 the >_< cause, 
uWu Hoping you'ww find ÚwÚ good cause to whip them all. 
>_< ESCAWUS. UwU I think nyo :3 wess. ^-^ Good mowwow to x3 youw wowdship. 
;;w;; [Exit ^-^ ANGEWO] >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, come xDD on; >_> what UwU was donye to Elbow's :3 wife, 
>_> once UwU mowe? 
uWu POMPEY. uWu Once?- sir. >_> Thewe UwU was >_< nyothing donye to her OwO once. 
;;w;; EWBOW. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, ^w^ ask ^.^ him >_> what ÚwÚ this x3 man uWu did to x3 my x3 wife. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw honyouw, ^w^ ask x3 me. 
>_< ESCAWUS. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, >_> what uWu did ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman to OwO hew? 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, wook uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu gentweman's ;;w;; face. ^-^ Good 
>_< Mastew Fwoth, wook ;;w;; upon :33 his honour; UwU 'tis fow :3 a ÚwÚ good puwpose. ^-^ Doth 
x3 youw honour mark :33 his ^.^ face? 
>_< ESCAWUS. Ay, ^w^ siw, xDD vewy well. 
uWu POMPEY. Nyay, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, mark >w< it well. 
>_< ESCAWUS. xDD Weww, UwU I UwU do :3 so. 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ Doth x3 youw honour >_> see xDD any x3 hawm uWu in :33 his ^.^ face? 
>_< ESCAWUS. Why, >w< nyo. 
uWu POMPEY. I'll be ^-^ suppos'd ;;w;; upon :3 a ^w^ book :33 his OwO face >_> is x3 the worst ^.^ thing 
about ^.^ him. ^-^ Good :33 then; >_> if :33 his OwO face be x3 the worst ^.^ thing about :3 him, 
>w< how couwd >_< Mastew Fwoth UwU do x3 the constabwe's >w< wife xDD any harm? UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
^.^ knyow :3 that of x3 youw honyouw. 
>_< ESCAWUS. He's uWu in x3 the wight, ^-^ constabwe; >_> what >_> say xDD you to :33 it? 
;;w;; EWBOW. ^.^ Fiwst, >w< an >w< it ^.^ wike UwU you, x3 the ;;w;; house >_> is :3 a respected ^.^ house; next, 
ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a respected fellow; ÚwÚ and :33 his mistwess >_> is :3 a respected 
uWu woman. 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu hand, ^w^ siw, :33 his >w< wife >_> is :3 a ^.^ mowe respected ÚwÚ pewson than 
xDD any of >_> us all. 
;;w;; EWBOW. UwU Vawwet, xDD thou ^w^ wiest; xDD thou liest, ^w^ wicket xDD vawwet; x3 the time >_> is 
yet to come :3 that ^.^ she UwU was OwO evew respected with ^w^ man, ^w^ woman, ow 
:33 chiwd. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU Siw, ^.^ she UwU was respected with ^.^ him >w< befowe ^.^ he mawwied with her. 
>_< ESCAWUS. >_< Which >_> is x3 the wiser UwU hewe, Justice ow >_< Inyiquity? Is ÚwÚ this 
twue? 
;;w;; EWBOW. x3 O xDD thou caitiff! x3 O xDD thou OwO vawwet! x3 O xDD thou wicked >_< Hannyibaw! UwU I 
respected with her >w< befowe UwU I UwU was mawwied to >_> hew! ;;w;; If OwO evew UwU I UwU was 
respected with hew, ow ^.^ she with uWu me, wet nyot x3 youw :33 wowship think ;;w;; me 
x3 the poor Duke's officer. ^-^ Pwuv uWu this, xDD thou wicked :33 Hannyibaw, ow 
I'll uWu have >_< minye uWu action of OwO batt'wy on thee. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> took xDD you :3 a ^w^ box ^.^ o' x3 th' eaw, xDD you ^w^ might uWu have x3 youw 
uWu action of ^-^ swandew UwU too. 
;;w;; EWBOW. OwO Mawwy, UwU I >_> thank x3 youw ÚwÚ good :33 wowship fow :3 it. >_> What :3 is't x3 youw 
^w^ wowship's :3 pweasuwe UwU I UwU shaww UwU do with ÚwÚ this wicked OwO caitiff? 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^-^ Twuwy, officer, uWu because ^.^ he hath x3 some :3 offences uWu in ^.^ him :3 that 
xDD thou wouldst OwO discuvw >_> if xDD thou ^-^ couwdst, wet ^.^ him >w< continyue uWu in :33 his 
;;w;; couwses >w< tiww xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st >_> what ;;w;; they x3 awe. 
;;w;; EWBOW. OwO Mawwy, UwU I >_> thank x3 youw :33 wowship fow :3 it. ^.^ Thou >_< seest, xDD thou wicked 
vawwet, now, UwU what's come ;;w;; upon >_< thee: xDD thou awt to >w< continyue now, 
xDD thou xDD vawwet; xDD thou awt to continue. 
>_< ESCAWUS. Whewe :3 wewe xDD you born, >w< fwiend? 
>w< FWOTH. :3 Hewe uWu in ^.^ Viennya, sir. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^w^ Awe xDD you of ^w^ fouwscowe uWu pounds :3 a OwO yeaw? 
>w< FWOTH. Yes, UwU an't uWu pwease UwU you, sir. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^w^ So. >_> What OwO twade OwO awe xDD you :33 of, UwU siw? 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ A tapster, :3 a poor widow's tapster. 
>_< ESCAWUS. uWu Youw >_< mistwess' :3 nyame? 
uWu POMPEY. Mistress >_> Ovewdonye. 
>_< ESCAWUS. >_< Hath ^.^ she xDD had xDD any ^.^ mowe than one OwO husband? 
uWu POMPEY. Nine, siw; xDD Ovewdonye ^.^ by x3 the last. 
>_< ESCAWUS. Nine! :3 Come ÚwÚ hithew to uWu me, >_< Mastew :33 Fwoth. >_< Mastew Fwoth, UwU I 
^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have xDD you >_> acquainted with tapstews: ;;w;; they xDD wiww dwaw UwU you, 
>_< Mastew Fwoth, ÚwÚ and xDD you xDD wiww ^w^ hang OwO them. >_< Get xDD you >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me 
hear nyo ^.^ mowe of OwO you. 
>w< FWOTH. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw UwU wowship. For >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, UwU I >_< nyevew come x3 into 
xDD any >_> woom uWu in :3 a :3 taphouse >_> but UwU I ^w^ am drawn ^.^ in. 
>_< ESCAWUS. xDD Weww, nyo ^.^ mowe of :33 it, >_< Mastew Froth; farewell. ;;w;; [Exit :33 FWOTH] 
:3 Come xDD you ÚwÚ hithew to uWu me, >_< Mastew Tapstew; UwU what's x3 youw :33 nyame, >_< Mastew 
Tapstew? 
uWu POMPEY. :3 Pompey. 
>_< ESCAWUS. >_> What else? 
uWu POMPEY. Bum, sir. 
>_< ESCAWUS. Troth, ÚwÚ and x3 youw bum >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest ^.^ thing about uWu you; UwU so 
:3 that, uWu in x3 the x3 beastwiest sense, xDD you OwO awe ÚwÚ Pompey x3 the OwO Gweat. Pompey, 
xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; pawtwy :3 a ^w^ bawd, Pompey, howsoever xDD you colour >w< it uWu in ^.^ being :3 a 
tapster. ^w^ Awe xDD you ^w^ nyot? ^.^ Come, tell ;;w;; me true; >w< it UwU shaww be x3 the xDD bettew 
fow OwO you. 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ Twuwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a poor fewwow :3 that ^.^ wouwd wive. 
>_< ESCAWUS. How ^.^ wouwd xDD you x3 wive, xDD Pompey- ^.^ by ^.^ being :3 a >_< bawd? >_> What UwU do xDD you 
think of x3 the twade, :3 Pompey? Is >w< it :3 a ÚwÚ wawfuw trade? 
uWu POMPEY. ;;w;; If x3 the law ^.^ wouwd UwU awwow :33 it, sir. 
>_< ESCAWUS. OwO But x3 the law xDD wiww nyot UwU awwow :33 it, xDD Pompey; nor >w< it UwU shaww nyot be 
UwU awwowed uWu in Vienna. 
uWu POMPEY. ÚwÚ Does x3 youw :33 wowship >_> mean to xDD gewd ÚwÚ and x3 spway aww x3 the :33 youth of 
x3 the ^-^ city? 
>_< ESCAWUS. :3 Nyo, :3 Pompey. 
uWu POMPEY. ^-^ Twuwy, ^w^ siw, uWu in x3 my poor :33 opinyion, ;;w;; they xDD wiww uWu to't UwU then. ;;w;; If 
x3 youw :33 wowship xDD wiww OwO take order fow x3 the ÚwÚ dwabs ÚwÚ and x3 the knaves, xDD you 
>_< nyeed nyot to feaw x3 the OwO bawds. 
>_< ESCAWUS. >_> Thewe >_> is OwO pwetty x3 owdews beginnying, UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you: >_> but >w< it 
>_> is >_> but >_> heading ÚwÚ and OwO hanging. 
uWu POMPEY. ;;w;; If xDD you >_> head ÚwÚ and ^w^ hang aww :3 that ^-^ offend :3 that uWu way >_> but fow ;;w;; ten 
xDD yeaw together, you'ww be uWu gwad to UwU give x3 out :3 a OwO commission fow ^.^ mowe 
heads; >_> if ÚwÚ this law howd uWu in OwO Viennya ;;w;; ten >w< yeaw, I'll OwO went x3 the >_> faiwest 
;;w;; house uWu in :33 it, ÚwÚ aftew thweepence :3 a x3 bay. ;;w;; If xDD you ^w^ wive to >_> see ÚwÚ this come 
to pass, >_> say ÚwÚ Pompey told xDD you :3 so. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^-^ Thank UwU you, ÚwÚ good xDD Pompey; x3 and, uWu in wequitaw of x3 youw prophecy, 
x3 hawk xDD you: UwU I ;;w;; advise UwU you, wet ;;w;; me nyot find xDD you >w< befowe ;;w;; me again ;;w;; upon 
xDD any ^w^ compwaint x3 whatsoevew- no, nyot fow dwelling :3 whewe xDD you do; >_> if UwU I 
UwU do, Pompey, UwU I UwU shaww xDD beat xDD you to x3 youw x3 tent, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwuv :3 a shrewd 
Caesaw to uWu you; uWu in uWu pwain ^-^ deawing, Pompey, UwU I UwU shaww uWu have xDD you :3 whipt. 
^w^ So fow ÚwÚ this time, Pompey, ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw :33 wowship fow x3 youw ÚwÚ good counsew; :3 [Aside] >_> but UwU I 
UwU shaww ;;w;; fowwow >w< it >_< as x3 the >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and :3 fowtunye UwU shaww xDD bettew ^.^ detewminye. 
Whip me? :3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; wet carman whip :33 his :3 jade; 
uWu The uWu vawiant heart's nyot x3 whipt x3 out of :33 his twade. uWu Exit 
>_< ESCAWUS. :3 Come ÚwÚ hithew to uWu me, >_< Mastew Ewbow; come hithew, >_< Mastew 
Constable. How ^-^ wong uWu have xDD you :33 been uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 pwace of constabwe? 
;;w;; EWBOW. ÚwÚ Seven xDD yeaw ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD hawf, sir. 
>_< ESCAWUS. UwU I ^-^ thought, ^.^ by x3 the readiness uWu in x3 the office, xDD you xDD had 
continued uWu in >w< it x3 some uWu time. >_> You >_> say ÚwÚ seven years :33 togethew? 
;;w;; EWBOW. xDD And :3 a xDD hawf, sir. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ÚwÚ Awas, >w< it hath :33 been great ^w^ pains to you! ^-^ They UwU do xDD you wrong 
to put xDD you UwU so ;;w;; oft :33 upon't. ^w^ Awe there nyot ;;w;; men uWu in x3 youw ward 
sufficient to serve :33 it? 
;;w;; EWBOW. Faith, ^w^ siw, x3 few of xDD any wit uWu in xDD such OwO mattews; >_< as ;;w;; they OwO awe 
:3 chosen, ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu gwad to choose ;;w;; me fow OwO them; UwU I UwU do >w< it fow x3 some 
^.^ piece of monyey, ÚwÚ and OwO go ^w^ thwough with all. 
>_< ESCAWUS. Wook UwU you, ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the nyames of x3 some six ow >w< seven, x3 the 
UwU most sufficient of x3 youw :33 pawish. 
;;w;; EWBOW. ;;w;; To x3 youw ^w^ wowship's house, UwU siw? 
>_< ESCAWUS. ;;w;; To x3 my ÚwÚ house. >w< Fawe xDD you well. ;;w;; [Exit ^-^ EWBOW] 
x3 What's o'clock, think you? 
JUSTICE. UwU Eweven, sir. 
>_< ESCAWUS. UwU I pray xDD you ^.^ home to dinner with x3 me. 
JUSTICE. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank OwO you. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^.^ It grieves ;;w;; me fow x3 the :33 death of ^w^ Cwaudio; 
OwO But there's nyo UwU wemedy. 
JUSTICE. Lord :3 Angewo >_> is severe. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^.^ It >_> is >_> but nyeedfuw: 
^w^ Mewcy >_> is nyot itsewf :3 that ;;w;; oft :33 wooks so; 
^w^ Pawdon >_> is still x3 the nyuwse of second woe. 
OwO But ^w^ yet, poor :33 Cwaudio! >_> Thewe >_> is nyo UwU wemedy. 
^.^ Come, sir. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew >_> woom uWu in :33 ANGEWO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew PWOVOST ÚwÚ and :3 a SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. He's hearing of :3 a cause; ^.^ he xDD wiww come stwaight. 
I'll tell ^.^ him of OwO you. 
UwU PWOVOST. >_> Pway xDD you xDD do. ;;w;; [Exit >_> SEWVANT] I'll ^.^ knyow 
ÚwÚ His pweasuwe; OwO may be ^.^ he xDD wiww wewent. ÚwÚ Awas, 
>w< He hath >_> but >_< as uWu offended uWu in :3 a dream! 
All :33 sects, aww x3 ages, ;;w;; smack of ÚwÚ this vice; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he 
;;w;; To ^-^ die fow ÚwÚ 't! 

Entew ANGEWO 

OwO ANGEWO. >_> Nyow, UwU what's x3 the >w< mattew, Provost? 
UwU PWOVOST. Is >w< it x3 youw xDD wiww OwO Cwaudio UwU shaww ^-^ die ^-^ to-mowwow? 
OwO ANGEWO. Did nyot UwU I tell uWu thee yea? UwU Hadst xDD thou nyot >_< owdew? 
Why dost xDD thou ^w^ ask ^w^ again? 
UwU PWOVOST. Lest UwU I ^w^ might be ^w^ too wash; 
;;w;; Undew x3 youw ÚwÚ good uWu cowwection, UwU I uWu have :3 seen 
UwU When, ÚwÚ aftew execution, ^w^ judgment hath 
^-^ Wepented ^-^ o'ew :33 his doom. 
OwO ANGEWO. Go >w< to; wet :3 that be ^w^ minye. 
Do xDD you x3 youw office, ow UwU give x3 up x3 youw pwace, 
xDD And xDD you UwU shaww weww be UwU spaw'd. 
UwU PWOVOST. UwU I ^w^ cwave x3 youw x3 honyouw's pardon. 
>_> What UwU shaww be :33 donye, ^w^ siw, with x3 the ;;w;; gwoanying Juliet? 
>_> She's xDD vewy nyeaw her hour. 
OwO ANGEWO. Dispose of her 
;;w;; To x3 some ^.^ mowe fitter pwace, ÚwÚ and :3 that with ;;w;; speed. 

^.^ We-entew SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the :3 sistew of x3 the x3 man condemn'd 
Desires x3 access to OwO you. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_< Hath ^.^ he :3 a ^-^ sistew? 
UwU PWOVOST. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; :3 a xDD vewy virtuous ;;w;; maid, 
xDD And to be x3 showtwy of :3 a >_> sistewhood, 
;;w;; If nyot >_< awweady. 
OwO ANGEWO. xDD Weww, wet her be >w< admitted. uWu Exit SEWVANT 
xDD See xDD you x3 the ÚwÚ fownyicatwess be remov'd; 
Let her uWu have needful >_> but nyot ^.^ wavish uWu means; 
>_> Thewe UwU shaww be order xDD fow't. 

Entew Lucio ÚwÚ and >_> ISABEWWA 

UwU PWOVOST. >w< [Going] :3 Save x3 youw ^-^ honyouw! 
OwO ANGEWO. OwO Stay :3 a xDD wittwe >_> whiwe. :33 [To ISABEWWA] Y'awe wewcome; UwU what's 
x3 youw xDD wiww? 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^.^ woefuw suitor to x3 youw honyouw, 
ÚwÚ Pwease >_> but x3 youw honour hear x3 me. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^-^ Weww; UwU what's x3 youw suit? 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a :33 vice :3 that UwU most UwU I UwU do abhow, 
xDD And UwU most ^.^ desiwe >_> shouwd :3 meet x3 the ^w^ bwow of justice; 
For which UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ^-^ pwead, >_> but :3 that UwU I :3 must; 
For which UwU I ^w^ must nyot ^-^ pwead, >_> but :3 that UwU I ^w^ am 
At >w< waw 'twixt xDD wiww ÚwÚ and xDD wiww not. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^-^ Weww; x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is condemn'd to :3 die; 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, wet >w< it be :33 his ^w^ fauwt, 
xDD And nyot x3 my ^-^ bwothew. 
UwU PWOVOST. :3 [Aside] uWu Heaven UwU give uWu thee >w< moving >_< gwaces. 
OwO ANGEWO. xDD Condemn x3 the ;;w;; fauwt ÚwÚ and nyot x3 the :33 actow of :3 it! 
Why, every fauwt's condemn'd ere >w< it be donye; 
Mine :3 wewe x3 the xDD vewy cipher of :3 a UwU function, 
;;w;; To OwO finye x3 the :33 fauwts x3 whose OwO finye >w< stands uWu in record, 
xDD And wet OwO go ^.^ by x3 the actow. 
>w< ISABEWWA. x3 O >w< just >_> but severe xDD waw! 
UwU I xDD had :3 a brother, UwU then. uWu Heaven >_< keep x3 youw ^-^ honyouw! 
LUCIO. :33 [To ISABEWWA] >_< Give't nyot ^-^ o'ew so; to ^.^ him OwO again, entweat :3 him, 
>_> Knyeew down >w< befowe :3 him, ^w^ hang ;;w;; upon :33 his x3 gown; 
>_> You OwO awe ^w^ too uWu cowd: >_> if xDD you >_> shouwd >_< nyeed :3 a :3 pin, 
>_> You couwd nyot with ^.^ mowe >w< tame :3 a >_> tongue ^.^ desiwe :3 it. 
;;w;; To :3 him, UwU I :3 say. 
>w< ISABEWWA. :3 Must ^.^ he >_< nyeeds die? 
OwO ANGEWO. >_< Maiden, nyo UwU wemedy. 
>w< ISABEWWA. Yes; UwU I UwU do think :3 that xDD you ^w^ might UwU pawdon ^.^ him. 
xDD And :3 nyeithew heaven nor x3 man UwU gwieve uWu at x3 the mercy. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_< do't. 
>w< ISABEWWA. OwO But ^.^ can UwU you, >_> if xDD you would? 
OwO ANGEWO. x3 Wook, >_> what UwU I xDD wiww >_> nyot, :3 that UwU I ;;w;; cannyot xDD do. 
>w< ISABEWWA. OwO But ^w^ might xDD you ;;w;; do't, ÚwÚ and UwU do x3 the wowwd nyo wwong, 
;;w;; If UwU so x3 youw >_< heawt :3 wewe touch'd with :3 that ^-^ wemowse 
;;w;; As >_< minye >_> is to him? 
OwO ANGEWO. He's sentenc'd; UwU 'tis ^w^ too UwU wate. 
LUCIO. :33 [To ISABEWWA] >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too cowd. 
>w< ISABEWWA. Too uWu wate? Why, ^.^ nyo; I, :3 that UwU do speak :3 a word, 
^-^ May caww >w< it back ;;w;; again. xDD Weww, ^-^ bewieve :33 this: 
No ceremony :3 that to great ^-^ onyes longs, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 the >_< king's >_< cwown nor x3 the uWu deputed uWu swowd, 
uWu The marshal's ^w^ twuncheon nor x3 the uWu judge's ^.^ wobe, 
Become them with one half UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a xDD gwace 
;;w;; As xDD mewcy does. 
;;w;; If ^.^ he xDD had :33 been >_< as UwU you, ÚwÚ and xDD you >_< as xDD he, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd uWu have slipp'd ^.^ wike him; >_> but xDD he, ^.^ wike UwU you, 
Wouwd nyot uWu have :33 been UwU so uWu stewn. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> Pway xDD you be ;;w;; gonye. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd to heaven UwU I xDD had x3 youw uWu potency, 
xDD And xDD you :3 wewe Isabew! Should >w< it xDD then be >_< thus? 
No; UwU I ^.^ wouwd tell >_> what >w< 'twewe to be :3 a OwO judge 
xDD And >_> what :3 a ^w^ pwisonyew. 
LUCIO. :33 [To ISABEWWA] Ay, :33 touch him; there's x3 the vein. 
OwO ANGEWO. uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is :3 a forfeit of x3 the waw, 
xDD And xDD you >_> but uWu waste x3 youw ÚwÚ wowds. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^-^ Awas! ^-^ Awas! 
Why, aww x3 the >w< souws :3 that :3 wewe :3 wewe forfeit once; 
xDD And >w< He :3 that ^w^ might x3 the ;;w;; vantage best uWu have >_> took 
x3 Found x3 out x3 the UwU wemedy. How ^.^ wouwd xDD you be 
;;w;; If ^-^ He, which >_> is x3 the ;;w;; top of ^.^ judgment, >_> shouwd 
OwO But OwO judge xDD you >_< as xDD you are? >_< O, think on :33 that; 
xDD And xDD mewcy xDD then xDD wiww ;;w;; bweathe within x3 youw :3 wips, 
Wike x3 man x3 nyew >_> made. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^w^ Be xDD you UwU content, >w< faiw ^-^ maid. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the waw, nyot UwU I >_< condemn x3 youw ^-^ bwothew. 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ he x3 my xDD kinsman, brother, ow x3 my x3 son, 
^.^ It >_> shouwd be OwO thus with ^.^ him. >w< He ^w^ must ^-^ die ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
>w< ISABEWWA. To-mowwow! >_< O, ^w^ that's ^w^ sudden! ^w^ Spawe :3 him, ^-^ spawe ^.^ him. 
He's nyot pwepaw'd fow death. Even fow UwU ouw x3 kitchens 
We OwO kiww x3 the fowl of :3 season; UwU shaww ^.^ we serve heaven 
With less wespect than ^.^ we UwU do xDD minyistew 
;;w;; To UwU ouw gwoss selves? OwO Good, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ bethink OwO you. 
Who >_> is >w< it :3 that hath >w< died fow ÚwÚ this x3 offence? 
>_> Thewe's UwU many uWu have >_> committed :3 it. 
LUCIO. :3 [Aside] Ay, weww UwU said. 
OwO ANGEWO. uWu The law hath nyot :33 been >_< dead, ^w^ though >w< it hath uWu swept. 
>w< Those UwU many xDD had nyot ^w^ daw'd to UwU do :3 that eviw 
;;w;; If x3 the xDD fiwst :3 that uWu did x3 th' edict infringe 
xDD Had x3 answew'd fow :33 his UwU deed. Now UwU 'tis >w< awake, 
Takes ^-^ nyote of >_> what >_> is :33 donye, x3 and, ^.^ wike :3 a UwU pwophet, 
Looks uWu in :3 a gwass :3 that >_< shows >_> what ÚwÚ futuwe UwU eviws- 
^-^ Eithew nyow ow ^.^ by >_< wemissnyess x3 nyew x3 conceiv'd, 
xDD And UwU so uWu in ^w^ pwogwess to be ÚwÚ hatch'd ÚwÚ and bown- 
^w^ Awe nyow to uWu have nyo ;;w;; successive ÚwÚ degwees, 
OwO But OwO hewe ;;w;; they ^w^ wive to OwO end. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ÚwÚ Yet x3 show x3 some >_> pity. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I x3 show >w< it UwU most of aww when UwU I x3 show justice; 
For xDD then UwU I pity UwU those UwU I UwU do nyot knyow, 
>_< Which :3 a OwO dismiss'd offence ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ aftew x3 gaww, 
xDD And UwU do ^.^ him >w< wight :3 that, answewing one fouw wwong, 
Wives nyot to ;;w;; act anyothew. ^w^ Be >_< satisfied; 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew dies to-morrow; be OwO content. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^w^ So xDD you ^w^ must be x3 the xDD fiwst :3 that ;;w;; gives ÚwÚ this xDD sentence, 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that ^.^ suffews. >_< O, >w< it >_> is :3 excewwent 
;;w;; To uWu have :3 a ;;w;; giant's ^w^ stwength! OwO But >w< it >_> is tywannyous 
;;w;; To use >w< it ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ giant. 
LUCIO. :33 [To ISABEWWA] >w< That's weww UwU said. 
>w< ISABEWWA. Could great ;;w;; men >_> thundew 
;;w;; As Juv >_< himsewf >w< does, Juv ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew be ^w^ quiet, 
For every >_< pewting petty officer 
Wouwd use :33 his heaven fow thundew, 
Nyothing >_> but thunder. Mewcifuw Heaven, 
^.^ Thou UwU wathew, with >w< thy ^-^ shawp ÚwÚ and UwU suwphuwous bolt, 
Spwits x3 the unwedgeabwe ÚwÚ and gnarled ÚwÚ oak 
Than x3 the soft ÚwÚ mywtwe. OwO But ^w^ man, OwO pwoud ^w^ man, 
Dwess'd uWu in :3 a xDD wittwe bwief ÚwÚ authowity, 
:3 Most ÚwÚ ignyowant of >_> what uWu he's UwU most UwU assuw'd, 
ÚwÚ His :3 gwassy >_< essence, ^.^ wike >w< an angry >_< ape, 
>w< Pways xDD such ^.^ fantastic tricks >w< befowe xDD high heaven 
;;w;; As x3 makes x3 the ^-^ angews ^.^ weep; who, with UwU ouw speens, 
Wouwd aww x3 themsewves laugh mowtaw. 
LUCIO. :33 [To ISABEWWA] >_< O, to :3 him, to :3 him, ^-^ wench! >w< He xDD wiww relent; 
He's >w< coming; UwU I >_> pewceive :3 't. 
UwU PWOVOST. :3 [Aside] >_> Pway heaven ^.^ she x3 win ^.^ him. 
>w< ISABEWWA. We ;;w;; cannyot >w< weigh UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew with ourself. 
UwU Gweat ;;w;; men OwO may xDD jest with UwU saints: UwU 'tis wit uWu in OwO them; 
OwO But uWu in x3 the less fouw pwofanyation. 
LUCIO. :33 [To ISABEWWA] ^w^ Thou'wt :33 i' x3 th' wight, girl; ^.^ mowe ^.^ o' x3 that. 
>w< ISABEWWA. :33 That uWu in x3 the captain's >_> but :3 a :3 chowewic ;;w;; wowd 
>_< Which uWu in x3 the soldier >_> is flat blasphemy. 
LUCIO. :33 [To ISABEWWA] Awt >_> avis'd ^.^ o' ^-^ that? uWu Mowe ^.^ on't. 
OwO ANGEWO. Why UwU do xDD you put these UwU sayings ;;w;; upon me? 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_< Because ÚwÚ authowity, ^w^ though >w< it OwO eww ^.^ wike ^w^ othews, 
>_< Hath yet :3 a uWu kind of medicinye uWu in itsewf 
:33 That ÚwÚ skins x3 the :33 vice ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> top. Go to x3 youw x3 bosom, 
Knock thewe, ÚwÚ and ^w^ ask x3 youw >_< heawt >_> what >w< it xDD doth ^.^ knyow 
>w< That's ^.^ wike x3 my brother's ^-^ fauwt. ;;w;; If >w< it x3 confess 
^-^ A natural ^.^ guiwtinyess xDD such >_< as >_> is his, 
Let >w< it nyot >_> sound :3 a xDD thought ;;w;; upon x3 youw >_> tongue 
^w^ Against x3 my brother's life. 
OwO ANGEWO. :3 [Aside] :33 She speaks, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis 
>w< Such sense :3 that x3 my sense breeds with ^w^ it.- >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^w^ Gentwe x3 my uWu wowd, turn back. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ bethink x3 me. :3 Come again ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^.^ Hawk >w< how I'll bribe uWu you; ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, turn back. 
OwO ANGEWO. How, bribe me? 
>w< ISABEWWA. Ay, with xDD such ^.^ gifts :3 that heaven UwU shaww share with OwO you. 
LUCIO. :33 [To ISABEWWA) >_> You xDD had marr'd aww ewse. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ÚwÚ Nyot with fond sicwes of x3 the tested ^.^ gowd, 
:33 Ow ^w^ stonyes, x3 whose wate OwO awe xDD eithew rich ow poor 
;;w;; As ^w^ fancy :3 vawues OwO them; >_> but with true >_< pwayews 
:33 That UwU shaww be x3 up uWu at heaven ÚwÚ and enter there 
Ere sun-wise, >_< pwayews from ^w^ pwesewved souws, 
Fwom ;;w;; fasting >_< maids, x3 whose minds OwO awe dedicate 
;;w;; To >_< nyothing OwO tempowaw. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^-^ Weww; come to ;;w;; me ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
LUCIO. :33 [To ISABEWWA] Go >w< to; UwU 'tis well; xDD away. 
>w< ISABEWWA. uWu Heaven >_< keep x3 youw honour OwO safe! 
OwO ANGEWO. :3 [Aside] OwO Amen; fow UwU I 
^w^ Am :3 that uWu way x3 going to ^-^ temptation 
Whewe >_< pwayews cross. 
>w< ISABEWWA. At >_> what >_> houw to-mowwow 
Shall UwU I >_< attend x3 youw x3 wowdship? 
OwO ANGEWO. At xDD any time 'fore xDD nyoon. 
>w< ISABEWWA. :3 Save x3 youw ^-^ honyouw! Exeunt aww >_> but ANGEWO 
OwO ANGEWO. Fwom ÚwÚ thee; even from >w< thy >_> viwtue! 
x3 What's uWu this, UwU what's :3 this? Is ÚwÚ this her ;;w;; fauwt ow mine? 
uWu The >_> temptew ow x3 the x3 tempted, who :3 sins ^-^ most? 
uWu Ha! 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ she; nor xDD doth ^.^ she >w< tempt; >_> but >w< it >_> is UwU I 
^.^ That, lying ^.^ by x3 the violet uWu in x3 the sun, 
Do >_< as x3 the OwO cawwion >w< does, nyot >_< as x3 the flow'r, 
Corrupt with virtuous ^.^ season. UwU Can >w< it be 
:33 That ÚwÚ modesty OwO may ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ betway UwU ouw sense 
Than xDD woman's >w< wightnyess? >_> Having uWu waste x3 gwound UwU enyough, 
Shall ^.^ we ^.^ desiwe to x3 waze x3 the ^w^ sanctuawy, 
xDD And ^w^ pitch UwU ouw ;;w;; eviws OwO thewe? >_< O, >_< fie, >_< fie, fie! 
>_> What dost UwU thou, ow >_> what awt UwU thou, x3 Angewo? 
uWu Dost xDD thou ^.^ desiwe her foully fow UwU those ^.^ things 
:33 That >_< make her good? >_< O, wet her ÚwÚ bwothew x3 wive! 
Thieves fow uWu theiw robbery uWu have ÚwÚ authowity 
x3 When judges ^.^ steaw x3 themsewves. What, UwU do UwU I wuv hew, 
:33 That UwU I ^.^ desiwe to hear her speak OwO again, 
xDD And >_> feast ;;w;; upon her uWu eyes? >_> What :3 is't UwU I dweam ^-^ on? 
x3 O x3 cunnying enyemy, :3 that, to catch :3 a UwU saint, 
With ^-^ saints dost x3 bait >w< thy :3 hook! :3 Most uWu dangewous 
Is :3 that ^-^ temptation :3 that xDD doth ^-^ goad >_> us on 
;;w;; To x3 sin uWu in >w< woving ÚwÚ viwtue. xDD Nyevew couwd x3 the ^w^ stwumpet, 
With aww her :3 doubwe OwO vigouw, awt ÚwÚ and nyatuwe, 
Once stir x3 my ^-^ tempew; >_> but ÚwÚ this virtuous >_< maid 
^w^ Subdues ;;w;; me quite. ^w^ Evew >w< tiww now, 
x3 When ;;w;; men :3 wewe fond, UwU I ^w^ smiw'd ÚwÚ and x3 wond'wed ^.^ how. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A :3 pwison 

OwO Entew, ;;w;; sevewawwy, ^w^ DUKE, disguised >_< as :3 a :3 FWIAW, ÚwÚ and PWOVOST 

x3 DUKE. Hail to UwU you, ÚwÚ Pwovost! UwU so UwU I think xDD you x3 awe. 
UwU PWOVOST. UwU I ^w^ am x3 the :33 Pwovost. x3 What's x3 youw :33 wiww, ÚwÚ good friar? 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Bound ^.^ by x3 my xDD chawity ÚwÚ and x3 my bwest order, 
UwU I come to x3 visit x3 the afflicted ;;w;; spiwits 
:3 Hewe uWu in x3 the x3 pwison. Do ;;w;; me x3 the ^w^ common >w< wight 
;;w;; To wet ;;w;; me >_> see ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and to >_< make ;;w;; me ^.^ knyow 
uWu The ÚwÚ nyatuwe of uWu theiw >_< cwimes, :3 that UwU I OwO may xDD minyistew 
;;w;; To them :3 accowdingwy. 
UwU PWOVOST. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU do ^.^ mowe than :3 that, >_> if ^.^ mowe :3 wewe nyeedfuw. 

Entew ;;w;; JUWIET 

x3 Wook, OwO hewe x3 comes onye; :3 a :33 gentwewoman of >_> minye, 
UwU Who, falling uWu in x3 the ^w^ fwaws of her UwU own youth, 
>_< Hath ^.^ bwistew'd her report. :33 She >_> is with child; 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that ^w^ got :33 it, >w< sentenc'd- :3 a xDD young x3 man 
uWu Mowe ;;w;; fit to UwU do anyothew xDD such offence 
Than ^-^ die fow UwU this. 
x3 DUKE. x3 When ^w^ must ^.^ he die? 
UwU PWOVOST. ;;w;; As UwU I UwU do >_< think, ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
:33 [To ;;w;; JUWIET] UwU I uWu have x3 pwovided fow uWu you; xDD stay ^-^ awhiwe 
xDD And xDD you UwU shaww be >_< conducted. 
x3 DUKE. uWu Wepent UwU you, >w< faiw one, of x3 the x3 sin xDD you :33 cawwy? 
JULIET. UwU I do; ÚwÚ and UwU beaw x3 the ^-^ shame UwU most :33 patientwy. 
x3 DUKE. I'll >_< teach xDD you >w< how xDD you UwU shaww arraign x3 youw OwO conscience, 
xDD And >_> twy x3 youw :3 penyitence, >_> if >w< it be >_> sound 
:33 Ow UwU howwowwy put :3 on. 
JULIET. I'll gwadwy UwU weawn. 
x3 DUKE. Wuv xDD you x3 the x3 man :3 that wrong'd you? 
JULIET. Yes, >_< as UwU I wuv x3 the OwO woman :3 that wrong'd ^.^ him. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ So >w< then, >w< it seems, x3 youw UwU most >w< offencefuw ;;w;; act 
Was OwO mutuawwy :33 committed. 
JULIET. x3 Mutuawwy. 
x3 DUKE. UwU Then UwU was x3 youw x3 sin of heaview uWu kind than ÚwÚ his. 
JULIET. UwU I UwU do x3 confess :33 it, ÚwÚ and wepent :33 it, :33 fathew. 
x3 DUKE. 'Tis :3 meet >_> so, ;;w;; daughtew; >_> but xDD west xDD you UwU do wepent 
;;w;; As :3 that x3 the x3 sin hath ^.^ bwought xDD you to ÚwÚ this UwU shame, 
>_< Which sorrow >_> is awways toward ;;w;; ouwsewves, nyot ^.^ heaven, 
^.^ Showing ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd nyot ^-^ spawe heaven >_< as ^.^ we wuv :33 it, 
OwO But >_< as ^.^ we stand uWu in >w< feaw- 
JULIET. UwU I UwU do wepent ;;w;; me >_< as >w< it >_> is >w< an x3 eviw, 
xDD And OwO take x3 the ^-^ shame with ^-^ joy. 
x3 DUKE. >_> Thewe rest. 
uWu Youw pawtnyew, >_< as UwU I heaw, ^w^ must ^-^ die ^.^ to-mowwow, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am x3 going with :33 instwuction to ^.^ him. 
Gwace OwO go with you! Benedicite! uWu Exit 
JULIET. :3 Must ^-^ die ^.^ to-mowwow! >_< O, xDD injuwious waw, 
:33 That wespites ;;w;; me :3 a >w< wife x3 whose xDD vewy uWu comfowt 
Is still :3 a dying >_> howwow! 
UwU PWOVOST. 'Tis pity of ^.^ him. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
:33 ANGEWO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ANGEWO 

OwO ANGEWO. x3 When UwU I ^.^ wouwd pray ÚwÚ and >_< think, UwU I think ÚwÚ and pray 
;;w;; To sevewaw xDD subjects. uWu Heaven hath x3 my :33 empty wowds, 
Whilst x3 my invention, hearing nyot x3 my ;;w;; tongue, 
Anchors on ÚwÚ Isabew. uWu Heaven uWu in x3 my uWu mouth, 
;;w;; As >_> if UwU I uWu did >_> but >w< onwy chew :33 his :33 nyame, 
xDD And uWu in x3 my >_< heawt x3 the >w< stwong ÚwÚ and xDD swewwing eviw 
Of x3 my conception. uWu The >w< state wheweon UwU I xDD studied 
Is, ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ thing ^.^ being often wead, 
Grown sewe ÚwÚ and :33 tedious; >w< yea, x3 my gravity, 
Whewein- wet nyo x3 man hear me- UwU I OwO take pride, 
Could UwU I with ^w^ boot change fow >w< an idle plume 
>_< Which x3 the ^w^ aiw ÚwÚ beats fow OwO vain. x3 O pwace, x3 O ÚwÚ fowm, 
How often dost xDD thou with >w< thy case, >w< thy habit, 
Wrench OwO awe from :3 foows, ÚwÚ and :33 tie x3 the wiser >w< souws 
;;w;; To >w< thy UwU fawse >_> seeming! :33 Bwood, xDD thou awt blood. 
:3 Wet's >w< wwite OwO 'good >_> angew' on x3 the >_> deviw's ^-^ hown; 
'Tis nyot x3 the >_> deviw's >w< cwest. 

Entew SEWVANT 

How now, OwO who's OwO thewe? 
SEWVANT. x3 Onye Isabel, :3 a ^-^ sistew, desiwes x3 access to OwO you. 
OwO ANGEWO. :3 Teach her x3 the >_> way. ;;w;; [Exit >_> SEWVANT] x3 O OwO heavens! 
Why does x3 my :3 bwood OwO thus muster to x3 my uWu heawt, 
^.^ Making both >w< it xDD unyabwe fow itsewf 
xDD And >_> dispossessing aww x3 my othew parts 
Of ^.^ nyecessawy fitnyess? 
^w^ So :33 pway x3 the >_< foowish x3 thwongs with one :3 that ÚwÚ swoons; 
:3 Come aww to OwO hewp :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU so ÚwÚ stop x3 the ^w^ aiw 
^-^ By which ^.^ he >_> shouwd >w< wevive; ÚwÚ and even UwU so 
uWu The general x3 subject to :3 a x3 weww-wish'd x3 king 
uWu Quit uWu theiw UwU own >_> pawt, ÚwÚ and uWu in ^.^ obsequious fondness 
Crowd to :33 his >_> pwesence, :3 whewe uWu theiw untaught wuv 
:3 Must >_< nyeeds appeaw OwO offence. 

Entew >_> ISABEWWA 

How now, >w< faiw maid? 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I ^w^ am come to ^.^ knyow x3 youw pleasure. 
OwO ANGEWO. :33 That xDD you ^w^ might ^.^ knyow >w< it ^.^ wouwd much xDD bettew uWu pwease ;;w;; me 
Than to ;;w;; demand >_> what UwU 'tis. uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew ;;w;; cannyot wive. 
>w< ISABEWWA. Even so! uWu Heaven >_< keep x3 youw ^-^ honyouw! 
OwO ANGEWO. ÚwÚ Yet OwO may ^.^ he ^w^ wive awhiwe, x3 and, >w< it OwO may be, 
;;w;; As ^-^ wong >_< as xDD you ow x3 I; yet ^.^ he ^w^ must die. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ;;w;; Undew x3 youw ^-^ sentence? 
OwO ANGEWO. xDD Yea. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^-^ When? UwU I :33 beseech uWu you; :3 that uWu in :33 his wepwieve, 
Wongew ow shorter, ^.^ he OwO may be UwU so :3 fitted 
:33 That :33 his :3 souw >w< sicken not. 
OwO ANGEWO. uWu Ha! OwO Fie, these :33 fiwthy UwU vices! ^.^ It :3 wewe >_< as ÚwÚ good 
;;w;; To UwU pawdon ^.^ him :3 that hath from ÚwÚ nyatuwe :3 stow'n 
^-^ A x3 man xDD awweady made, >_< as to :3 wemit 
^-^ Theiw ^w^ saucy sweetness :3 that UwU do ^-^ coin heaven's x3 image 
^w^ In stamps :3 that OwO awe forbid; UwU 'tis aww >_< as ^w^ easy 
;;w;; Fawsewy to OwO take OwO away :3 a >w< wife true UwU made 
;;w;; As to put >_< metaw uWu in :33 westwainyed means 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a UwU fawse onye. 
>w< ISABEWWA. 'Tis uWu set down UwU so uWu in ^.^ heaven, >_> but nyot uWu in ;;w;; eawth. 
OwO ANGEWO. x3 Say xDD you so? UwU Then UwU I UwU shaww pose xDD you >w< quickwy. 
>_< Which xDD had xDD you rather- :3 that x3 the UwU most >w< just law 
Now >_> took x3 youw brother's :33 wife; or, to xDD wedeem :3 him, 
Give x3 up x3 youw >w< body to xDD such x3 sweet uncleanness 
;;w;; As ^.^ she :3 that ^.^ he hath ^w^ stain'd? 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU Siw, ^-^ bewieve :33 this: 
UwU I xDD had rather UwU give x3 my >w< body than x3 my ^-^ souw. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I tawk nyot of x3 youw ^.^ souw; UwU ouw OwO compeww'd :3 sins 
;;w;; Stand ^.^ mowe fow ^w^ nyumbew than fow accompt. 
>w< ISABEWWA. How >_> say you? 
OwO ANGEWO. Nyay, I'll nyot :33 wawwant :33 that; fow UwU I ^.^ can speak 
^w^ Against x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I :3 say. Answer to :33 this: 
I, nyow x3 the uWu voice of x3 the wecowded waw, 
:33 Pwonyounce :3 a :33 sentence on x3 youw brother's :33 wife; 
^.^ Might there nyot be :3 a xDD chawity uWu in x3 sin 
;;w;; To :3 save ÚwÚ this brother's :33 wife? 
>w< ISABEWWA. ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you to ;;w;; do't, 
I'll OwO take >w< it >_< as :3 a peril to x3 my :3 souw 
^.^ It >_> is nyo x3 sin uWu at all, >_> but charity. 
OwO ANGEWO. Pleas'd xDD you to do't uWu at peril of x3 youw x3 souw, 
^.^ Wewe equal ^.^ poise of x3 sin ÚwÚ and charity. 
>w< ISABEWWA. :33 That UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ beg :33 his :3 wife, >_> if >w< it be ^w^ sin, 
uWu Heaven wet ;;w;; me UwU beaw :3 it! >_> You ÚwÚ gwanting of x3 my ^.^ suit, 
;;w;; If :3 that be ^w^ sin, I'll >_< make >w< it x3 my ;;w;; mown :3 pwayew 
;;w;; To uWu have >w< it >_< added to x3 the :33 fauwts of >_> minye, 
xDD And >_< nyothing of x3 youw answer. 
OwO ANGEWO. Nyay, >_> but hear OwO me; 
uWu Youw sense puwsues nyot minye; xDD eithew xDD you OwO awe ÚwÚ ignyowant 
:33 Ow xDD seem >_> so, ;;w;; cwaftiwy; ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's nyot UwU good. 
>w< ISABEWWA. Let ;;w;; me be ignorant, ÚwÚ and uWu in >_< nyothing ÚwÚ good 
OwO But x3 gwaciouswy to ^.^ knyow UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^-^ bettew. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^-^ Thus ^.^ wisdom wishes to appeaw UwU most uWu bwight 
x3 When >w< it xDD doth ÚwÚ tax >_< itsewf; >_< as these black ^-^ masks 
ÚwÚ Pwocwaim >w< an >_> enshiewded beauty ;;w;; ten times :33 woudew 
Than beauty couwd, display'd. OwO But mark ;;w;; me: 
;;w;; To be uWu weceived pwain, I'll speak ^.^ mowe >_> gwoss- 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is to die. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^w^ So. 
OwO ANGEWO. xDD And :33 his offence >_> is >_> so, >_< as >w< it appeaws, 
Accountant to x3 the law ;;w;; upon :3 that OwO pain. 
>w< ISABEWWA. :3 Twue. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^.^ Admit nyo othew uWu way to :3 save :33 his :3 wife, 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu subscwibe nyot :3 that, nor xDD any ÚwÚ othew, 
But, uWu in x3 the ^-^ woss of ^.^ question, :3 that UwU you, :33 his ^-^ sistew, 
Finding >_> youwsewf desir'd of xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ pewson 
>_< Whose cwedit with x3 the ^w^ judge, ow UwU own great pwace, 
Could :3 fetch x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew from x3 the >w< manyacwes 
Of x3 the >_< aww-binding UwU waw; ÚwÚ and :3 that there :3 wewe 
No ÚwÚ eawthwy >_> mean to :3 save ^.^ him >_> but :3 that xDD eithew 
>_> You ^w^ must uWu way down x3 the :3 tweasuwes of x3 youw >w< body 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this supposed, ow >_> ewse to wet ^.^ him >w< suffew- 
>_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^-^ do? 
>w< ISABEWWA. ;;w;; As much fow x3 my poor ÚwÚ bwothew >_< as >_< mysewf; 
:33 That ;;w;; is, :3 wewe UwU I :33 undew x3 the terms of UwU death, 
xDD Th' x3 impwession of >_> keen OwO whips ;;w;; I'd ^-^ weaw >_< as rubies, 
xDD And stwip mysewf to :33 death >_< as to :3 a x3 bed 
:33 That OwO wonging uWu have :33 been >w< sick for, ere ;;w;; I'd yield 
OwO My >w< body x3 up to ;;w;; shame. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU Then ^w^ must x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew die. 
>w< ISABEWWA. xDD And >w< 'twewe x3 the ^.^ cheapew >_< way: 
uWu Bettew >w< it :3 wewe :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew >w< died uWu at >_> once 
Than :3 that :3 a ^-^ sistew, ^.^ by redeeming :3 him, 
Should ^-^ die fow ever. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^.^ Wewe nyot UwU you, >w< then, >_< as UwU cwuew >_< as x3 the :33 sentence 
:33 That xDD you uWu have UwU swandew'd so? 
>w< ISABEWWA. Ignominy uWu in wansom ÚwÚ and fwee UwU pawdon 
^w^ Awe of >w< two :33 houses: ÚwÚ wawfuw xDD mewcy 
Is >_< nyothing ^-^ kin to fouw redemption. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> You ^w^ seem'd of wate to >_< make x3 the law :3 a tyrant; 
xDD And rather ^.^ pwov'd x3 the x3 swiding of x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew 
^-^ A ^.^ mewwiment than :3 a >w< vice. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_< O, UwU pawdon uWu me, x3 my ^.^ wowd! ^.^ It ;;w;; oft ^w^ fawws ^.^ out, 
;;w;; To uWu have >_> what ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd have, ^.^ we speak nyot >_> what ^.^ we UwU mean: 
UwU I ^-^ something UwU do UwU excuse x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I ^-^ hate 
For :33 his ^w^ advantage :3 that UwU I ÚwÚ deawwy love. 
OwO ANGEWO. We OwO awe aww frail. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^-^ Ewse wet x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew >_> die, 
;;w;; If nyot :3 a fedary >_> but >w< onwy ^.^ he 
Owe ÚwÚ and >_< succeed >w< thy weakness. 
OwO ANGEWO. Nyay, x3 women OwO awe frail UwU too. 
>w< ISABEWWA. Ay, >_< as x3 the glasses :3 whewe ;;w;; they x3 view ^.^ themsewves, 
>_< Which OwO awe >_< as ^w^ easy broke >_< as ;;w;; they >_< make fowms. 
xDD Women, OwO hewp :3 heaven! OwO Men uWu theiw :3 cweation >_> maw 
^w^ In ;;w;; pwofiting ^.^ by OwO them. Nyay, caww >_> us ;;w;; ten times frail; 
For ^.^ we OwO awe soft >_< as UwU ouw UwU compwexions awe, 
xDD And credulous to UwU fawse >_> pwints. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I think >w< it well; 
xDD And from ÚwÚ this testimony of x3 youw UwU own ;;w;; sex, 
Since UwU I ^.^ suppose ^.^ we OwO awe UwU made to be nyo stronger 
Than :33 fauwts OwO may ;;w;; shake UwU ouw ^.^ fwames, wet ;;w;; me be bowd. 
UwU I UwU do ;;w;; awwest x3 youw ÚwÚ wowds. ^w^ Be :3 that xDD you awe, 
:33 That ;;w;; is, :3 a >_< woman; >_> if xDD you be >_> mowe, ÚwÚ you'we x3 nyonye; 
;;w;; If xDD you be one, >_< as xDD you OwO awe weww express'd 
^-^ By aww ÚwÚ extewnyaw >_< wawwants, x3 show >w< it nyow 
^-^ By ^.^ putting on x3 the ^w^ destin'd >w< wivewy. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I uWu have nyo >_> tongue >_> but onye; gentwe, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Let ;;w;; me xDD intweat xDD you speak x3 the xDD fowmew >_> wanguage. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU Pwainwy xDD conceive, UwU I wuv OwO you. 
>w< ISABEWWA. OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew uWu did wuv Juwiet, 
xDD And xDD you tell ;;w;; me :3 that ^.^ he UwU shaww ^-^ die xDD fow't. 
OwO ANGEWO. >w< He UwU shaww >_> nyot, Isabel, >_> if xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me love. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw viwtue hath :3 a x3 wicense OwO in't, 
>_< Which ;;w;; seems :3 a xDD wittwe fouwew than >w< it ;;w;; is, 
;;w;; To pluck on ÚwÚ othews. 
OwO ANGEWO. :3 Bewieve uWu me, on >_< minye honyouw, 
OwO My wowds express x3 my puwpose. 
>w< ISABEWWA. uWu Ha! xDD wittwe honour to be much uWu bewiev'd, 
xDD And UwU most pewnyicious puwpose! Seeming, >_> seeming! 
UwU I xDD wiww :3 pwocwaim ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ Angewo, wook xDD fow't. 
:33 Sign ;;w;; me :3 a xDD pwesent UwU pawdon fow x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew 
:3 Ow, with >w< an ;;w;; outstwetch'd throat, I'll tell x3 the wowwd >_< awoud 
>_> What x3 man xDD thou art. 
OwO ANGEWO. Who xDD wiww ^-^ bewieve ÚwÚ thee, Isabel? 
OwO My >_> unsoiw'd :33 nyame, x3 th' austereness of x3 my :3 wife, 
OwO My ÚwÚ vouch OwO against UwU you, ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 pwace :33 i' x3 th' state, 
Will UwU so x3 youw :33 accusation overweigh 
:33 That xDD you UwU shaww stifwe uWu in x3 youw UwU own wepowt, 
xDD And smell of >_< cawumny. UwU I uWu have begun, 
xDD And nyow UwU I UwU give x3 my sensual race x3 the >_< wein: 
Fit >w< thy >_< consent to x3 my ^-^ shawp x3 appetite; 
Way ^.^ by aww nyicety ÚwÚ and pwowixious blushes 
:33 That banyish >_> what ;;w;; they sue ^w^ fow; xDD wedeem >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew 
^-^ By yiewding x3 up >w< thy >w< body to x3 my :33 wiww; 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ^.^ he ^w^ must nyot >w< onwy ^-^ die x3 the UwU death, 
OwO But >w< thy unkindnyess UwU shaww :33 his :33 death dwaw x3 out 
;;w;; To x3 wing'wing sufferance. Answer ;;w;; me ^.^ to-mowwow, 
:3 Ow, ^.^ by x3 the :3 affection :3 that nyow xDD guides ;;w;; me :3 most, 
I'll ^-^ pwuv :3 a tyrant to ^.^ him. ;;w;; As fow UwU you, 
x3 Say >_> what xDD you >_< can: x3 my UwU fawse ÚwÚ o'ewweighs x3 youw true. uWu Exit 
>w< ISABEWWA. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom >_> shouwd UwU I UwU compwain? Did UwU I tell uWu this, 
Who ^.^ wouwd ^-^ bewieve me? x3 O :33 pewiwous mouths 
:33 That UwU beaw uWu in them one ÚwÚ and x3 the sewf-same >_> tongue 
^-^ Eithew of condemnyation ow approof, 
xDD Bidding x3 the law >_< make :3 cuwtsy to uWu theiw :33 wiww; 
OwO Hooking both >w< wight ÚwÚ and wrong to x3 th' uWu appetite, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; fowwow >_< as >w< it ^.^ dwaws! I'll to x3 my ^-^ bwothew. 
;;w;; Though ^.^ he hath fall'n ^.^ by ÚwÚ pwomptuwe of x3 the bwood, 
ÚwÚ Yet hath ^.^ he uWu in ^.^ him xDD such :3 a ^-^ mind of honour 
^.^ That, xDD had ^.^ he ÚwÚ twenty heads to xDD tendew down 
On ÚwÚ twenty bwoody ;;w;; bwocks, >w< he'd yield them x3 up 
^.^ Befowe :33 his :3 sistew >_> shouwd her >w< body >_< stoop 
;;w;; To xDD such >_> abhoww'd x3 powwution. 
Then, Isabel, ^w^ wive chaste, x3 and, brother, die: 
uWu Mowe than UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is UwU ouw >_< chastity. 
I'll tell ^.^ him yet of >w< Angewo's ÚwÚ wequest, 
xDD And ;;w;; fit :33 his ^-^ mind to UwU death, fow :33 his x3 souw's rest. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The :3 pwison 

Entew ^w^ DUKE, disguised >_< as x3 befowe, :33 CWAUDIO, ÚwÚ and PWOVOST 

x3 DUKE. So, xDD then xDD you UwU hope of UwU pawdon from Lord x3 Angewo? 
CLAUDIO. uWu The >w< misewabwe uWu have nyo othew medicinye 
OwO But >w< onwy >_> hope: 
UwU I uWu have UwU hope to Eve, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am pwepaw'd to die. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Be ^w^ absowute fow ÚwÚ death; xDD eithew :33 death ow >w< wife 
Shall theweby be x3 the :33 sweetew. ^w^ Weason OwO thus with life. 
;;w;; If UwU I UwU do wose ÚwÚ thee, UwU I UwU do wose :3 a ^.^ thing 
:33 That >_< nyonye >_> but foows ^.^ wouwd keep. ^-^ A UwU bweath xDD thou awt, 
Sewviwe to aww x3 the >w< skyey uWu infwuences, 
:33 That dost ÚwÚ this ^w^ habitation :3 whewe xDD thou :3 keep'st 
:3 Houwwy affwict. Mewewy, xDD thou awt UwU Death's foow; 
For ^.^ him xDD thou >w< wabouw'st ^.^ by >w< thy :33 fwight to UwU shun 
xDD And yet >w< wun'st toward ^.^ him xDD stiww. ^.^ Thou awt nyot noble; 
For aww x3 th' accommodations :3 that xDD thou >_< beaw'st 
^w^ Awe nurs'd ^.^ by basenyess. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; 'wt ^.^ by nyo means valiant; 
For xDD thou dost feaw x3 the soft ÚwÚ and xDD tendew ^w^ fowk 
Of :3 a poor ÚwÚ wowm. x3 Thy best of xDD west >_> is sweep, 
xDD And :3 that xDD thou ;;w;; oft provok'st; yet grossly ^w^ feaw'st 
x3 Thy UwU death, which >_> is nyo more. ^.^ Thou awt nyot xDD thysewf; 
For xDD thou uWu exists on UwU many :3 a thousand :33 gwains 
:33 That x3 issue x3 out of dust. Happy xDD thou awt x3 nyot; 
For >_> what xDD thou x3 hast >_> nyot, still xDD thou ;;w;; stwiv'st to ÚwÚ get, 
xDD And >_> what xDD thou ÚwÚ hast, :3 fowget'st. ^.^ Thou awt nyot ^-^ cewtain; 
For >w< thy >_< compwexion ^.^ shifts to ;;w;; stwange ^-^ effects, 
>w< Aftew x3 the x3 moon. ;;w;; If xDD thou awt rich, >w< thou'wt poor; 
For, ^.^ wike >w< an >w< ass x3 whose back with UwU ingots xDD bows, 
^.^ Thou >_< beaw'st >w< thy x3 heavy ^w^ wiches >_> but :3 a jouwnyey, 
xDD And >_> Death UwU unwoads thee. >_> Fwiend x3 hast xDD thou x3 nyonye; 
For ^.^ thinye UwU own bowels which UwU do caww uWu thee >w< siwe, 
uWu The mere ^.^ effusion of >w< thy OwO pwopew >_< woins, 
Do UwU cuwse x3 the OwO gout, :3 sewpigo, ÚwÚ and x3 the rheum, 
For >w< ending uWu thee nyo soonyew. ^.^ Thou x3 hast nor :33 youth nor age, 
But, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, >w< an >_> aftew-dinnyew's sweep, 
Dweaming on both; fow aww >w< thy blessed :33 youth 
>_> Becomes >_< as aged, ÚwÚ and xDD doth ÚwÚ beg x3 the :3 awms 
Of palsied ewd; ÚwÚ and when xDD thou awt ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and rich, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 nyeithew ^.^ heat, :33 affection, ÚwÚ wimb, nor >w< beauty, 
;;w;; To >_< make >w< thy ^w^ wiches ^.^ pweasant. x3 What's yet uWu in ÚwÚ this 
:33 That bears x3 the xDD nyame of :33 wife? ÚwÚ Yet uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< wife 
Lie >_< hid ^-^ moe thousand deaths; yet :33 death ^.^ we ;;w;; feaw, 
:33 That x3 makes these ^w^ odds aww xDD even. 
CLAUDIO. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank OwO you. 
;;w;; To sue to x3 wive, UwU I find UwU I >_> seek to :3 die; 
^.^ And, UwU seeking UwU death, find life. Let >w< it come :3 on. 
>w< ISABEWWA. :33 [Within] What, ho! :3 Peace ^.^ hewe; xDD gwace ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good ;;w;; company! 
UwU PWOVOST. Who's OwO thewe? :3 Come UwU in; x3 the ÚwÚ wish >_> desewves :3 a x3 wewcome. 
x3 DUKE. >_< Deaw ^w^ siw, ere ^-^ wong I'll x3 visit xDD you ;;w;; again. 
CLAUDIO. :3 Most >w< howy ^w^ siw, UwU I >_> thank OwO you. 

Entew >_> ISABEWWA 

>w< ISABEWWA. OwO My business >_> is :3 a ;;w;; wowd ow >w< two with ^-^ Cwaudio. 
UwU PWOVOST. xDD And xDD vewy x3 wewcome. x3 Wook, signior, hewe's x3 youw sister. 
x3 DUKE. >w< Pwovost, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
UwU PWOVOST. ;;w;; As UwU many >_< as xDD you ÚwÚ pwease. 
x3 DUKE. Bring ;;w;; me to hear them :3 speak, :3 whewe UwU I OwO may be :3 conceaw'd. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ and PWOVOST 
CLAUDIO. >_> Nyow, ^-^ sistew, UwU what's x3 the comfowt? 
>w< ISABEWWA. Why, 
;;w;; As aww UwU comfowts >_< awe; UwU most UwU good, UwU most UwU good, indeed. 
Lord ^w^ Angewo, xDD having affairs to ^.^ heaven, 
Intends xDD you fow :33 his UwU swift :3 ambassadow, 
Whewe xDD you UwU shaww be >w< an everlasting :33 weigew. 
>_< Thewefowe, x3 youw best ;;w;; appointment >_< make with ÚwÚ speed; 
>_< To-mowwow xDD you uWu set :3 on. 
CLAUDIO. Is there nyo remedy? 
>w< ISABEWWA. ÚwÚ Nyonye, >_> but xDD such wemedy as, to :3 save :3 a head, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ cweave :3 a >_< heawt uWu in >_< twain. 
CLAUDIO. OwO But >_> is there >_> any? 
>w< ISABEWWA. Yes, brother, xDD you OwO may live: 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a deviwish xDD mewcy uWu in x3 the ^w^ judge, 
;;w;; If you'ww :3 impwowe :33 it, :3 that xDD wiww fwee x3 youw :3 wife, 
OwO But ÚwÚ fettew xDD you >w< tiww death. 
CLAUDIO. Perpetual durance? 
>w< ISABEWWA. Ay, x3 just; pewpetuaw ^w^ duwance, :3 a ;;w;; westwaint, 
;;w;; Though aww x3 the OwO wowwd's :33 vastidity xDD you :33 had, 
;;w;; To :3 a ;;w;; detewmin'd scope. 
CLAUDIO. OwO But uWu in >_> what ^.^ nyatuwe? 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^w^ In xDD such :3 a one as, xDD you >_< consenting >_> to't, 
Wouwd >_< bawk x3 youw honour from :3 that UwU twunk xDD you >_> beaw, 
xDD And OwO weave xDD you nyaked. 
CLAUDIO. Let ;;w;; me ^.^ knyow x3 the point. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_< O, UwU I UwU do feaw ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ Cwaudio; ÚwÚ and UwU I ;;w;; quake, 
Lest xDD thou :3 a feverous >w< wife shouwdst >_< entewtain, 
xDD And six ow ÚwÚ seven >w< wintews ^.^ mowe wespect 
Than :3 a pewpetuaw honyouw. uWu Daw'st xDD thou die? 
uWu The sense of :33 death >_> is UwU most uWu in uWu appwehension; 
xDD And x3 the poor >w< beetwe :3 that ^.^ we ;;w;; twead ;;w;; upon 
^w^ In corporal sufferance ÚwÚ finds :3 a >_< pang >_< as great 
;;w;; As when :3 a giant OwO dies. 
CLAUDIO. Why UwU give xDD you ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this shame? 
^w^ Think xDD you UwU I ^.^ can :3 a uWu wesowution :3 fetch 
Fwom flow'ry ^.^ tendewnyess? ;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ must >_> die, 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 encountew >w< dawknyess >_< as :3 a bride 
xDD And hug >w< it uWu in >_< minye arms. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_> Thewe x3 spake x3 my bwothew; there x3 my father's :3 gwave 
Did :33 uttew fowth :3 a voice. Yes, xDD thou ^w^ must die: 
^.^ Thou awt ^w^ too x3 nyobwe to >_< consewve :3 a >w< wife 
^w^ In UwU base ^-^ appwiances. This ^.^ outwawd-sainted deputy, 
>_< Whose ^-^ settwed >w< visage ÚwÚ and deliberate ;;w;; wowd 
^.^ Nyips :33 youth :33 i' x3 th' head, ÚwÚ and follies xDD doth enew 
;;w;; As fawcon xDD doth x3 the fowl, >_> is yet :3 a >_< deviw; 
ÚwÚ His fiwth within ^.^ being :3 cast, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd appeaw 
^-^ A pond >_< as >_> deep >_< as uWu heww. 
CLAUDIO. uWu The OwO pwecise uWu Angewo! 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_< O, UwU 'tis x3 the x3 cunnying :33 wivewy of heww 
uWu The UwU damnyed'st >w< body to ;;w;; invest ÚwÚ and UwU cuvw 
^w^ In OwO pwecise :3 guawds! uWu Dost xDD thou >_< think, Claudio, 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ wouwd yield ^.^ him x3 my ^w^ viwginyity 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ mightst be freed? 
CLAUDIO. x3 O OwO heavens! >w< it ;;w;; cannyot >w< be. 
>w< ISABEWWA. Yes, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_> give't ÚwÚ thee, from ÚwÚ this rank ^-^ offence, 
^w^ So to ^-^ offend ^.^ him xDD stiww. This night's x3 the time 
:33 That UwU I >_> shouwd UwU do >_> what UwU I abhow to :33 nyame, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse xDD thou ^.^ diest ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
CLAUDIO. ^.^ Thou shalt nyot >_< do't. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_< O, :3 wewe >w< it >_> but x3 my wife! 
;;w;; I'd ^-^ thwow >w< it down fow x3 youw dewivewance 
;;w;; As fwankwy >_< as :3 a pin. 
CLAUDIO. >_< Thanks, uWu deaw ÚwÚ Isabew. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^w^ Be :3 weady, Claudio, fow x3 youw :33 death ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
CLAUDIO. x3 Yes. x3 Has ^.^ he affections uWu in ^.^ him 
:33 That OwO thus ^.^ can >_< make ^.^ him ^-^ bite x3 the law ^.^ by x3 th' x3 nyose 
x3 When ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd force :33 it? Sure >w< it >_> is nyo sin; 
:33 Ow of x3 the deadwy ÚwÚ seven >w< it >_> is x3 the weast. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_< Which >_> is x3 the xDD weast? 
CLAUDIO. ;;w;; If >w< it :3 wewe :3 damnyabwe, ^.^ he ^.^ being UwU so >_< wise, 
Why ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he fow x3 the momentawy twick 
^w^ Be :3 pewduwabwy :33 fin'd?- x3 O Isabew! 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_> What ;;w;; says x3 my bwothew? 
CLAUDIO. >_> Death >_> is :3 a x3 feawfuw >_> thing. 
>w< ISABEWWA. xDD And :33 shamed >w< wife :3 a hateful. 
CLAUDIO. Ay, >_> but to >_> die, ÚwÚ and OwO go ^.^ we ^.^ knyow nyot uWu whewe; 
;;w;; To >_< wie uWu in UwU cowd :33 obstwuction, ÚwÚ and to wot; 
This ^-^ sensibwe wawm >_> motion to :33 become 
^-^ A knyeaded ^.^ cwod; ÚwÚ and x3 the dewighted ^w^ spiwit 
;;w;; To ^.^ bathe uWu in fiery xDD fwoods ow to >w< weside 
^w^ In thwiwwing wegion of thick-wibbed :33 ice; 
;;w;; To be impwison'd uWu in x3 the x3 viewwess winds, 
xDD And >_> bwown with restless x3 viowence ;;w;; wound about 
uWu The pendent wowwd; ow to be xDD wowse than worst 
Of UwU those :3 that wawwess ÚwÚ and incewtain xDD thought 
Imagine howwing- UwU 'tis ^w^ too howwibwe. 
uWu The ^.^ weawiest ÚwÚ and UwU most >_< woathed ^-^ wowwdwy >w< wife 
:33 That age, uWu ache, xDD penyuwy, ÚwÚ and ^w^ impwisonment, 
UwU Can uWu way on ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is :3 a paradise 
;;w;; To >_> what ^.^ we feaw of death. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ awas! 
CLAUDIO. ÚwÚ Sweet ^-^ sistew, wet ;;w;; me wive. 
>_> What x3 sin xDD you UwU do to :3 save :3 a brother's :3 wife, 
ÚwÚ Nyatuwe ;;w;; dispenses with x3 the ^.^ deed UwU so uWu faw 
:33 That >w< it x3 becomes :3 a ÚwÚ viwtue. 
>w< ISABEWWA. x3 O xDD you beast! 
x3 O faithless OwO cowawd! x3 O ;;w;; dishonyest OwO wwetch! 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou be UwU made :3 a x3 man x3 out of x3 my x3 vice? 
^-^ Is't nyot :3 a uWu kind of uWu incest to OwO take >w< wife 
Fwom ^.^ thinye UwU own OwO sistew's shame? >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I x3 think? 
uWu Heaven OwO shiewd x3 my mothew pway'd x3 my >w< fathew :33 faiw! 
For xDD such :3 a wawped swip of wiwdewnyess 
Nye'ew issu'd from :33 his blood. ^.^ Take x3 my ^.^ defiance; 
x3 Die; x3 pewish. ^.^ Might >_> but x3 my x3 bending down 
UwU Wepwieve uWu thee from >w< thy fate, >w< it >_> shouwd ^-^ pwoceed. 
I'll pray :3 a thousand >_< pwayews fow >w< thy UwU death, 
No ;;w;; wowd to :3 save thee. 
CLAUDIO. Nyay, hear uWu me, ÚwÚ Isabew. 
>w< ISABEWWA. x3 O >_< fie, >_< fie, fie! 
x3 Thy xDD sin's nyot accidentaw, >_> but :3 a twade. 
^w^ Mewcy to uWu thee ^.^ wouwd ^-^ pwuv itsewf :3 a ^w^ bawd; 
'Tis best :3 that xDD thou ^.^ diest >w< quickwy. 
CLAUDIO. >_< O, hear uWu me, UwU Isabewwa. 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ DUKE 

x3 DUKE. Vouchsafe :3 a word, xDD young ^-^ sistew, >_> but one OwO wowd. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_> What >_> is x3 youw xDD wiww? 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Might xDD you ^w^ dispense with x3 youw >_> weisuwe, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by uWu have 
x3 some ÚwÚ speech with uWu you; x3 the >_< satisfaction UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD wequiwe >_> is 
>_< wikewise x3 youw UwU own benefit. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I uWu have nyo supewfwuous leisure; x3 my xDD stay ^w^ must be :33 stowen x3 out 
of othew affaiws; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww >_< attend xDD you OwO awhiwe. 
:3 [Wawks apart] 
x3 DUKE. UwU Son, UwU I uWu have uvwheawd >_> what hath :33 pass'd ^-^ between xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 youw 
sister. :3 Angewo xDD had >_< nyevew x3 the OwO puwpose to corrupt >w< hew; >w< onwy ^.^ he hath 
UwU made >w< an OwO assay of her viwtue to x3 pwactise :33 his ^w^ judgment with x3 the 
uWu disposition of natures. >_> She, xDD having x3 the uWu twuth of honour uWu in hew, 
hath UwU made ^.^ him :3 that >_> gwacious denial which ^.^ he >_> is UwU most uWu gwad to 
OwO weceive. UwU I ^w^ am confessor to ^w^ Angewo, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this to be true; 
>_< thewefowe >_> pwepawe >_> youwsewf to death. Do nyot satisfy x3 youw 
uWu wesowution with hopes :3 that OwO awe ÚwÚ fawwibwe; to-mowwow xDD you ^w^ must :3 die; 
OwO go to x3 youw knees ÚwÚ and >_< make weady. 
CLAUDIO. Let ;;w;; me ^w^ ask x3 my :3 sistew pardon. UwU I ^w^ am UwU so x3 out of wuv with >w< wife 
:3 that UwU I xDD wiww sue to be x3 wid of :3 it. 
x3 DUKE. :33 Howd xDD you :33 thewe. uWu Faweweww. ;;w;; [Exit ÚwÚ CWAUDIO] >w< Pwovost, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with 
OwO you. 

^.^ We-entew PWOVOST 

UwU PWOVOST. x3 What's x3 youw :33 wiww, father? 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ That, nyow xDD you OwO awe come, xDD you xDD wiww be ;;w;; gonye. Weave ;;w;; me :3 a OwO whiwe 
with x3 the >_> maid; x3 my ^-^ mind ÚwÚ pwomises with x3 my OwO habit nyo ^-^ woss UwU shaww :33 touch 
her ^.^ by x3 my UwU company. 
UwU PWOVOST. ^w^ In ÚwÚ good uWu time. uWu Exit PWOVOST 
x3 DUKE. uWu The uWu hand :3 that hath UwU made xDD you >w< faiw hath UwU made xDD you good; x3 the 
xDD goodnyess :3 that >_> is cheap uWu in beauty x3 makes beauty bwief uWu in :3 goodnyess; 
>_> but gwace, ^.^ being x3 the :3 souw of x3 youw ÚwÚ compwexion, UwU shaww >_< keep x3 the >w< body 
of >w< it OwO evew >_< faiw. uWu The OwO assauwt :3 that :3 Angewo hath UwU made to UwU you, 
:3 fowtunye hath ;;w;; convey'd to x3 my ;;w;; undewstanding; x3 and, >_> but :3 that frailty 
hath xDD exampwes fow :33 his fawwing, UwU I >_> shouwd wonder uWu at Angewo. How 
xDD wiww xDD you UwU do to :3 content ÚwÚ this x3 substitute, ÚwÚ and to :3 save x3 youw bwothew? 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I ^w^ am nyow x3 going to wesowve him; UwU I xDD had rather x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew 
^-^ die ^.^ by x3 the law than x3 my >_< son >_> shouwd be xDD unwawfuwwy born. But, >_< O, >w< how 
much >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ good >w< Duke >_> deceiv'd uWu in uWu Angewo! ;;w;; If OwO evew ^.^ he wetuwn, ÚwÚ and 
UwU I ^.^ can speak to :3 him, UwU I xDD wiww open x3 my lips uWu in vain, ow OwO discuvw :33 his 
>_< guvwnment. 
x3 DUKE. :33 That UwU shaww nyot be much >_< amiss; ^w^ yet, >_< as x3 the ;;w;; mattew nyow stands, 
^.^ he xDD wiww avoid x3 youw ^-^ accusation: ^.^ he UwU made uWu twiaw of xDD you onwy. 
Therefore :33 fasten x3 youw ear on x3 my >w< advisings; to x3 the wuv UwU I uWu have uWu in 
xDD doing ÚwÚ good :3 a wemedy presents itself. UwU I UwU do >_< make mysewf ^-^ bewieve 
:3 that xDD you OwO may UwU most ^.^ upwighteouswy UwU do :3 a poor ;;w;; wwonged uWu wady :3 a ;;w;; mewited 
>_> benyefit; xDD wedeem x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew from x3 the angry UwU waw; UwU do nyo stain to 
x3 youw UwU own >_> gwacious ÚwÚ pewson; ÚwÚ and much uWu pwease x3 the absent ;;w;; Duke, >_> if 
pewadventuwe ^.^ he UwU shaww OwO evew ^-^ wetuwn to uWu have hearing of ÚwÚ this 
business. 
>w< ISABEWWA. Let ;;w;; me hear xDD you speak ^.^ fawthew; UwU I uWu have ^w^ spiwit to UwU do 
;;w;; anything :3 that >_> appeaws nyot fouw uWu in x3 the uWu twuth of x3 my >w< spiwit. 
x3 DUKE. x3 Viwtue >_> is >w< bowd, ÚwÚ and xDD goodnyess >_< nyevew fearful. :3 Have xDD you nyot 
heard speak of :33 Mawianya, x3 the :3 sistew of ÚwÚ Fwedewick, x3 the great 
soldier who ^-^ miscawwied uWu at ^-^ sea? 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I uWu have heard of x3 the UwU wady, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good wowds OwO went with her 
nyame. 
x3 DUKE. :33 She >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this :3 Angewo uWu have ^w^ mawwied; UwU was :33 affianced to her ^.^ by 
;;w;; oath, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< nyuptiaw :33 appointed; ^-^ between which time of x3 the 
ÚwÚ contwact ÚwÚ and wimit of x3 the solemnity her ÚwÚ bwothew Frederick UwU was 
^.^ wweck'd uWu at :33 sea, xDD having uWu in :3 that perished vessel x3 the ^.^ dowwy of :33 his 
sister. OwO But mark >w< how >_> heaviwy ÚwÚ this UwU befeww to x3 the poor gentwewoman: 
there ^.^ she wost :3 a x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and uWu wenyownyed brother, uWu in :33 his wuv toward 
her OwO evew UwU most uWu kind ÚwÚ and nyatuwaw; with ^.^ him x3 the portion ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ sinyew of 
her fowtunye, her ^-^ mawwiage-dowwy; with xDD both, her UwU combinyate 
^.^ husband, ÚwÚ this weww-seeming Angewo. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU Can ÚwÚ this be so? Did :3 Angewo UwU so OwO weave OwO hew? 
x3 DUKE. Left her uWu in her ^-^ teaws, ÚwÚ and dwied nyot one of them with :33 his 
uWu comfowt; ^.^ swawwowed :33 his x3 vows ^-^ whowe, ^.^ pwetending uWu in her :3 discuvwies 
of UwU dishonyouw; uWu in ÚwÚ few, ÚwÚ bestow'd her on her UwU own wamentation, which 
^.^ she yet ^-^ weaws fow :33 his >_< sake; ÚwÚ and xDD he, :3 a OwO mawbwe to her ^-^ teaws, >_> is 
washed with ÚwÚ them, >_> but wewents not. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_> What :3 a merit :3 wewe >w< it uWu in :33 death to OwO take ÚwÚ this poor >_< maid from 
x3 the ;;w;; wowwd! >_> What ^.^ cowwuption uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< wife :3 that >w< it xDD wiww wet ÚwÚ this x3 man 
x3 wive! OwO But >w< how x3 out of ÚwÚ this ^.^ can ^.^ she ÚwÚ avaiw? 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a rupture :3 that xDD you OwO may easily :3 heaw; ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< cuwe of >w< it 
nyot >w< onwy >w< saves x3 youw brother, >_> but keeps xDD you from x3 dishonyouw uWu in 
xDD doing :3 it. 
>w< ISABEWWA. uWu Show ;;w;; me how, ÚwÚ good :33 fathew. 
x3 DUKE. This ÚwÚ fowenyamed >_< maid hath yet uWu in her x3 the ^.^ continyuance of her 
xDD fiwst ^w^ affection; :33 his :33 unjust ;;w;; unkindnyess, :3 that uWu in aww reason >_> shouwd 
uWu have quenched her xDD wuv, :33 hath, ^.^ wike >w< an x3 impediment uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ cuwwent, 
UwU made >w< it ^.^ mowe :3 viowent ÚwÚ and unruly. Go xDD you to Angewo; answew :33 his 
^.^ wequiwing with :3 a pwausibwe obedience; agree with :33 his uWu demands to 
x3 the ^-^ point; >w< onwy :3 wefew >_> youwsewf to ÚwÚ this advantage: ÚwÚ fiwst, :3 that 
x3 youw xDD stay with ^.^ him OwO may nyot be xDD wong; :3 that x3 the time OwO may uWu have aww 
:3 shadow ÚwÚ and :3 siwence uWu in uWu it; ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 pwace answew to convenience. 
This ^.^ being >_> gwanted uWu in couwse- ÚwÚ and nyow xDD fowwows all: ^.^ we UwU shaww 
;;w;; advise ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wwonged >_< maid to OwO stead x3 up x3 youw >_< appointment, OwO go uWu in x3 youw 
;;w;; pwace. ;;w;; If x3 the x3 encountew :3 acknyowwedge itsewf heweaftew, >w< it OwO may 
compel ^.^ him to her recompense; ÚwÚ and UwU hewe, ^.^ by uWu this, >_> is x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew 
^-^ saved, x3 youw honour x3 untainted, x3 the poor uWu Mawianya advantaged, ÚwÚ and 
x3 the corrupt OwO deputy scawed. uWu The >_< maid xDD wiww UwU I fwame ÚwÚ and >_< make ;;w;; fit fow 
:33 his attempt. ;;w;; If xDD you think weww to carry ÚwÚ this >_< as xDD you may, x3 the 
UwU doubwenyess of x3 the ^-^ benyefit uWu defends x3 the ;;w;; deceit from reproof. >_> What 
think xDD you of :33 it? 
>w< ISABEWWA. uWu The x3 image of >w< it ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me :3 content already; ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 twust >w< it 
xDD wiww gwow to :3 a UwU most :33 pwospewous perfection. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ It wies much uWu in x3 youw uWu howding :33 up. Haste xDD you :33 speediwy to 
Angewo; >_> if fow ÚwÚ this >w< nyight ^.^ he entweat xDD you to :33 his ^.^ bed, UwU give ^.^ him 
promise of satisfaction. UwU I xDD wiww presently to Saint Wuke's; thewe, 
uWu at x3 the moated grange, UwU wesides ÚwÚ this >_< dejected :3 Mawianya. At :3 that 
:33 pwace caww ;;w;; upon OwO me; ÚwÚ and dispatch with ^w^ Angewo, :3 that >w< it OwO may be 
>w< quickwy. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow ÚwÚ this UwU comfowt. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, ÚwÚ good :33 fathew. 
Exeunt uWu sevewawwy 




Scene UwU II. 
uWu The :3 stweet >w< befowe x3 the :3 pwison 

OwO Entew, on one side, ÚwÚ DUKE disguised >_< as befowe; on x3 the ÚwÚ othew, >_> EWBOW, 
ÚwÚ and OFFICEWS with POMPEY 

;;w;; EWBOW. Nyay, >_> if there be nyo wemedy fow :33 it, >_> but :3 that xDD you xDD wiww >_< nyeeds 
UwU buy ÚwÚ and ;;w;; seww ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and x3 women ^.^ wike xDD beasts, ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have aww x3 the 
wowwd ÚwÚ dwink >_> bwown ÚwÚ and ^-^ white bastawd. 
x3 DUKE. x3 O OwO heavens! >_> what ^w^ stuff >_> is hewe? 
uWu POMPEY. >_< 'Twas >_< nyevew ^.^ mewwy wowwd since, of >w< two usuries, x3 the >w< mewwiest 
UwU was put ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> wowsew UwU awwow'd ^.^ by order of law :3 a ÚwÚ fuww'd 
ÚwÚ gown to >_< keep ^.^ him warm; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fuww'd with fox on lamb-skins :3 too, to 
:33 signyify :3 that >w< cwaft, ^.^ being xDD wichew than innyocency, >w< stands fow x3 the 
xDD facing. 
;;w;; EWBOW. :3 Come x3 youw :3 way, sir. :3 Bwess UwU you, ÚwÚ good >w< fathew fwiaw. 
x3 DUKE. xDD And UwU you, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ bwothew :33 fathew. >_> What offence hath ÚwÚ this x3 man UwU made 
UwU you, UwU siw? 
;;w;; EWBOW. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he hath uWu offended x3 the UwU waw; x3 and, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we OwO take ^.^ him 
to be :3 a UwU thief :3 too, ^w^ siw, fow ^.^ we uWu have >_> found ;;w;; upon :3 him, ^w^ siw, :3 a 
;;w;; stwange ^w^ pickwock, which ^.^ we uWu have sent to x3 the xDD deputy. 
x3 DUKE. OwO Fie, sirrah, :3 a ^w^ bawd, :3 a wicked >w< bawd! 
uWu The eviw :3 that xDD thou UwU causest to be :33 donye, 
:33 That >_> is >w< thy means to wive. Do xDD thou >_> but think 
>_> What UwU 'tis to ;;w;; cwam :3 a >_> maw ow UwU cwothe :3 a back 
Fwom xDD such :3 a :33 fiwthy vice; >_> say to >w< thysewf 
UwU 'Fwom uWu theiw UwU abominyabwe ÚwÚ and OwO beastwy >_> touches 
UwU I dwink, UwU I uWu eat, awway myself, ÚwÚ and wive.' 
ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou ^-^ bewieve >w< thy UwU wiving >_> is :3 a :3 wife, 
^w^ So OwO stinkingwy OwO depending? Go >_> mend, OwO go >w< mend. 
uWu POMPEY. >w< Indeed, >w< it does ;;w;; stink uWu in x3 some sort, siw; >_> but ^w^ yet, ^w^ siw, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< pwuv- 
x3 DUKE. Nyay, >_> if x3 the ^.^ deviw uWu have UwU given uWu thee proofs fow ^w^ sin, 
^.^ Thou wiwt ^-^ pwuv ÚwÚ his. ^.^ Take ^.^ him to pwison, >w< officew; 
Correction ÚwÚ and :33 instwuction ^w^ must both ^.^ wowk 
Ere ÚwÚ this wude beast xDD wiww uWu pwofit. 
;;w;; EWBOW. >w< He ^w^ must >w< befowe x3 the deputy, siw; ^.^ he >_> has UwU given ^.^ him wawnying. 
uWu The OwO deputy ;;w;; cannyot abide :3 a ^w^ whowemastew; >_> if ^.^ he be :3 a UwU whowemongew, 
ÚwÚ and x3 comes >w< befowe :3 him, ^.^ he :3 wewe >_< as ÚwÚ good OwO go :3 a miwe on :33 his ^-^ ewwand. 
x3 DUKE. :33 That ^.^ we :3 wewe all, >_< as x3 some ^.^ wouwd xDD seem to be, 
Fwom UwU ouw fauwts, >_< as :33 his :33 fauwts from ^.^ seeming, >w< fwee. 
;;w;; EWBOW. ÚwÚ His x3 nyeck xDD wiww come to x3 youw OwO waist- :3 a >_< cowd, sir. 

Entew WUCIO 

uWu POMPEY. UwU I ^w^ spy uWu comfowt; UwU I cwy ^w^ baiw. >_> Hewe's :3 a gentweman, ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 fwiend 
of ^w^ minye. 
LUCIO. How now, x3 nyobwe Pompey! What, uWu at x3 the ^.^ wheews of ^-^ Caesaw? Awt 
xDD thou x3 wed uWu in >w< twiumph? What, >_> is there >_< nyonye of Pygmalion's ;;w;; images, 
x3 nyewwy UwU made ^w^ woman, to be xDD had nyow fow ^.^ putting x3 the uWu hand uWu in x3 the 
uWu pocket ÚwÚ and >_> extwacting >w< it cwutch'd? >_> What reply, ^.^ ha? >_> What say'st 
xDD thou to ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ tunye, >w< mattew, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; method? ^-^ Is't nyot >w< dwown'd :33 i' x3 th' 
>w< wast rain, ^.^ ha? >_> What say'st UwU thou, twot? Is x3 the wowwd >_< as >w< it UwU was, 
man? >_< Which >_> is x3 the >w< way? Is >w< it :3 sad, ÚwÚ and x3 few xDD wowds? ow ÚwÚ how? uWu The 
twick of :33 it? 
x3 DUKE. UwU Stiww thus, ÚwÚ and ^.^ thus; still wowse! 
LUCIO. How xDD doth x3 my uWu deaw mowsew, >w< thy mistwess? Procures ^.^ she still, 
^.^ ha? 
uWu POMPEY. Troth, ^w^ siw, ^.^ she hath eaten x3 up aww her beef, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she >_> is 
herself uWu in x3 the tub. 
LUCIO. Why, UwU 'tis good; >w< it >_> is x3 the >w< wight of uWu it; >w< it ^w^ must be so; OwO evew 
x3 youw >w< fwesh whore ÚwÚ and x3 youw xDD powdew'd bawd- >w< an unshunn'd 
xDD consequence; >w< it ^w^ must be :3 so. Awt x3 going to pwison, :3 Pompey? 
uWu POMPEY. Yes, ^w^ faith, sir. 
LUCIO. Why, UwU 'tis nyot xDD amiss, :3 Pompey. Farewell; x3 go, >_> say UwU I sent uWu thee 
xDD thithew. For ^.^ debt, xDD Pompey- ow ÚwÚ how? 
;;w;; EWBOW. For ^.^ being :3 a ^w^ bawd, fow ^.^ being :3 a UwU bawd. 
LUCIO. xDD Weww, >w< then, ;;w;; impwison ^.^ him. ;;w;; If imprisonment be x3 the >_< due of :3 a 
^w^ bawd, >w< why, UwU 'tis :33 his ÚwÚ wight. Bawd >_> is ^.^ he doubtless, ÚwÚ and of 
:33 antiquity, :3 too; ;;w;; bawd-bown. UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good :3 Pompey. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to 
x3 the pwison, :3 Pompey. >_> You xDD wiww turn ÚwÚ good :33 husband now, xDD Pompey; xDD you 
xDD wiww >_< keep x3 the ÚwÚ house. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I hope, ^w^ siw, x3 youw ÚwÚ good :33 wowship xDD wiww be x3 my ^w^ baiw. 
LUCIO. :3 Nyo, :33 indeed, xDD wiww UwU I >_> nyot, xDD Pompey; >w< it >_> is nyot x3 the weaw. UwU I xDD wiww 
pray, Pompey, to incwease x3 youw bondage. ;;w;; If xDD you OwO take >w< it nyot 
patientwy, >w< why, x3 youw mettle >_> is x3 the more. ^-^ Adieu trusty :3 Pompey. 
:3 Bwess UwU you, fwiaw. 
x3 DUKE. xDD And OwO you. 
LUCIO. ÚwÚ Does :33 Bwidget OwO paint still, Pompey, ^.^ ha? 
;;w;; EWBOW. :3 Come x3 youw >w< ways, siw; x3 come. 
uWu POMPEY. >_> You xDD wiww nyot xDD baiw ;;w;; me >w< then, UwU siw? 
LUCIO. Then, Pompey, nor now. >_> What nyews >_> abwoad, friar? >_> what nyews? 
;;w;; EWBOW. :3 Come x3 youw >w< ways, siw; x3 come. 
LUCIO. Go to kennyew, Pompey, ÚwÚ go. 

Exeunt >_> EWBOW, POMPEY ÚwÚ and OFFICEWS 

>_> What news, >_< fwiaw, of x3 the Duke? 
x3 DUKE. UwU I ^.^ knyow none. UwU Can xDD you tell ;;w;; me of >_> any? 
LUCIO. ;;w;; Some >_> say ^.^ he >_> is with x3 the >_> Empewow of :3 Wussia; othew some, ^.^ he >_> is 
uWu in Rome; >_> but :3 whewe >_> is xDD he, think you? 
x3 DUKE. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot uWu whewe; >_> but ^.^ whewesoevew, UwU I ÚwÚ wish ^.^ him well. 
LUCIO. ^.^ It UwU was :3 a ^-^ mad OwO fantasticaw twick of ^.^ him to ^.^ steaw from x3 the 
>w< state ÚwÚ and usuwp x3 the :33 beggawy ^.^ he UwU was >_< nyevew bown ;;w;; to. Lord :3 Angewo 
>_< dukes >w< it weww uWu in :33 his ^w^ absence; ^.^ he puts twansgwession to't. 
x3 DUKE. >w< He does weww ÚwÚ in't. 
LUCIO. ^-^ A xDD wittwe ^.^ mowe lenity to lechery ^.^ wouwd UwU do nyo x3 hawm uWu in him; 
^-^ something ^w^ too >w< cwabbed :3 that :3 way, fwiaw. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too general :3 a xDD vice, ÚwÚ and :33 sevewity ^w^ must >w< cuwe :3 it. 
LUCIO. Yes, uWu in ÚwÚ good sooth, x3 the :33 vice >_> is of :3 a great :33 kindwed; >w< it >_> is 
weww >_> awwied; >_> but >w< it >_> is xDD impossibwe to :33 extiwp >w< it UwU quite, >_< fwiaw, >w< tiww 
uWu eating ÚwÚ and UwU dwinking be put down. ^-^ They >_> say ÚwÚ this :3 Angewo UwU was nyot 
UwU made ^.^ by x3 man ÚwÚ and OwO woman ÚwÚ aftew ÚwÚ this downwight uWu way of x3 cweation. Is >w< it 
^-^ twue, think you? 
x3 DUKE. How >_> shouwd ^.^ he be made, ^w^ then? 
LUCIO. ;;w;; Some wepowt :3 a >w< sea-maid spawn'd him; some, :3 that ^.^ he UwU was ^.^ begot 
^-^ between >w< two x3 stock-fishes. OwO But >w< it >_> is xDD cewtain :3 that when ^.^ he x3 makes 
UwU watew :33 his xDD uwinye >_> is x3 congeaw'd :33 ice; :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow to be true. xDD And ^.^ he 
>_> is :3 a >_> motion generative; ^w^ that's infallible. 
x3 DUKE. >_> You OwO awe uWu pweasant, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and speak :33 apace. 
LUCIO. Why, >_> what :3 a ;;w;; wuthwess ^.^ thing >_> is ÚwÚ this uWu in :3 him, fow x3 the ;;w;; webewwion 
of :3 a ^.^ codpiece to OwO take OwO away x3 the >w< wife of :3 a ;;w;; man! Wouwd x3 the >w< Duke :3 that 
>_> is absent uWu have donye :3 this? Ere ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 hang'd :3 a x3 man fow x3 the 
UwU getting :3 a :3 hundwed bastards, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have paid fow x3 the nursing :3 a 
ÚwÚ thousand. >w< He xDD had x3 some :33 feewing of x3 the >_< spowt; ^.^ he UwU knyew x3 the sewvice, 
ÚwÚ and :3 that :3 instwucted ^.^ him to mercy. 
x3 DUKE. UwU I >_< nyevew heard x3 the absent >w< Duke much xDD detected fow ^w^ women; ^.^ he UwU was 
nyot ^-^ incwin'd :3 that >_> way. 
LUCIO. >_< O, ^w^ siw, xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; deceiv'd. 
x3 DUKE. 'Tis nyot UwU possibwe. 
LUCIO. OwO Who- nyot x3 the Duke? Yes, x3 youw beggar of ^.^ fifty; ÚwÚ and :33 his use 
UwU was to put :3 a ;;w;; ducat uWu in her >w< cwack-dish. uWu The >w< Duke xDD had ^-^ cwotchets uWu in 
^.^ him. >w< He ^.^ wouwd be UwU dwunk :3 too; :3 that wet ;;w;; me infowm OwO you. 
x3 DUKE. >_> You UwU do ^.^ him wwong, :33 suwewy. 
LUCIO. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU was >w< an inward of ÚwÚ his. ^-^ A shy fewwow UwU was x3 the ^-^ Duke; ÚwÚ and 
UwU I ^-^ bewieve UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the cause of :33 his withdrawing. 
x3 DUKE. What, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ^w^ might be x3 the ^w^ cause? 
LUCIO. :3 Nyo, ;;w;; pawdon; UwU 'tis :3 a secret ^w^ must be :3 wock'd within x3 the teeth 
ÚwÚ and x3 the lips; >_> but ÚwÚ this UwU I ^.^ can wet xDD you undewstand: x3 the :33 gweatew file 
of x3 the x3 subject hewd x3 the >w< Duke to be uWu wise. 
x3 DUKE. >_> Wise? Why, nyo ;;w;; question >_> but ^.^ he uWu was. 
LUCIO. ^-^ A xDD vewy ;;w;; supewficiaw, ignorant, :3 unweighing UwU fewwow. 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ Eithew ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 envy uWu in UwU you, >_> fowwy, ow xDD mistaking; x3 the xDD vewy 
stweam of :33 his :3 wife, ÚwÚ and x3 the business ^.^ he hath hewmed, ;;w;; must, ;;w;; upon :3 a 
wawwanted need, UwU give ^.^ him :3 a xDD bettew xDD pwocwamation. Let ^.^ him be >_> but 
testimonyied uWu in :33 his UwU own bringings-forth, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww appeaw to 
x3 the envious :3 a ^-^ schowaw, :3 a ^w^ statesman, ÚwÚ and :3 a OwO sowdiew. Therefore xDD you 
speak UwU unskiwfuwwy; or, >_> if x3 youw >_< knyowwedge be >_> mowe, >w< it >_> is much 
dark'ned uWu in x3 youw xDD mawice. 
LUCIO. UwU Siw, UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU I wuv ^.^ him. 
x3 DUKE. Wuv talks with xDD bettew ^-^ knyowwedge, ÚwÚ and >_< knyowwedge with ÚwÚ deawew 
love. 
LUCIO. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> what UwU I :33 knyow. 
x3 DUKE. UwU I ^.^ can hardly ^-^ bewieve :3 that, xDD since xDD you ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what xDD you >_< speak. 
But, >_> if OwO evew x3 the >w< Duke wetuwn, >_< as UwU ouw >_< pwayews OwO awe ^.^ he may, wet ;;w;; me 
^.^ desiwe xDD you to >_< make x3 youw answew >w< befowe ^.^ him. ;;w;; If >w< it be xDD honyest xDD you 
uWu have ;;w;; spoke, xDD you uWu have couwage to ÚwÚ maintain uWu it; UwU I ^w^ am bound to caww 
;;w;; upon uWu you; ÚwÚ and UwU I pray xDD you x3 youw :3 nyame? 
LUCIO. UwU Siw, x3 my xDD nyame >_> is uWu Wucio, weww ÚwÚ knyown to x3 the uWu Duke. 
x3 DUKE. >w< He UwU shaww ^.^ knyow xDD you better, ^w^ siw, >_> if UwU I OwO may ^w^ wive to wepowt OwO you. 
LUCIO. UwU I feaw xDD you not. 
x3 DUKE. >_< O, xDD you UwU hope x3 the >w< Duke xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn nyo mowe; ow xDD you imagine ;;w;; me 
^w^ too >_< unhuwtfuw >w< an UwU opposite. But, :33 indeed, UwU I ^.^ can UwU do xDD you xDD wittwe UwU hawm: 
you'ww >w< fowsweaw ÚwÚ this ;;w;; again. 
LUCIO. I'll be :33 hang'd fiwst. ^.^ Thou awt >_> deceiv'd uWu in uWu me, fwiaw. OwO But nyo 
^.^ mowe of UwU this. ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou tell >_> if OwO Cwaudio ^-^ die to-mowwow ow no? 
x3 DUKE. Why >_> shouwd ^.^ he >_> die, UwU siw? 
LUCIO. xDD Why? For filling :3 a bottwe with :3 a tun-dish. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 the >w< Duke 
^.^ we tawk of :3 wewe wetuwn'd ;;w;; again. This x3 ungenyituw'd agent xDD wiww 
xDD unpeopwe x3 the ;;w;; pwovince with continyency; ^.^ spawwows ^w^ must nyot buiwd uWu in 
:33 his >_> house-eaves uWu because ;;w;; they OwO awe lecherous. uWu The >w< Duke yet ^.^ wouwd 
uWu have dark >_< deeds >_< dawkwy OwO answewed; ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew ;;w;; bwing them to 
light. Wouwd ^.^ he :3 wewe uWu wetuwn'd! OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ this OwO Cwaudio >_> is condemnyed 
fow >w< untwussing. UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good x3 fwiaw; UwU I :33 pwithee pray fow x3 me. uWu The 
;;w;; Duke, UwU I >_> say to uWu thee OwO again, ^.^ wouwd eat UwU mutton on Fwidays. He's nyot 
x3 past >w< it :33 yet; x3 and, UwU I >_> say to ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd xDD mouth with :3 a beggar 
^w^ though ^.^ she >_< smewt >_> bwown ^.^ bwead ÚwÚ and ^-^ gawwic. x3 Say :3 that UwU I uWu said :3 so. 
uWu Faweweww. uWu Exit 
x3 DUKE. No ^w^ might nor :33 gweatnyess uWu in OwO mowtawity 
UwU Can UwU censuwe scape; ^-^ back-wounding cawumny 
uWu The UwU whitest viwtue ^-^ stwikes. >_> What x3 king UwU so >w< stwong 
UwU Can :33 tie x3 the ^.^ gaww x3 up uWu in x3 the slanderous ^.^ tongue? 
OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew :3 ESCAWUS, :33 PWOVOST, ÚwÚ and OFFICEWS with 
xDD MISTWESS ^w^ OVEWDONyE 

>_< ESCAWUS. ^w^ Go, OwO away with her to x3 pwison. 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, be ÚwÚ good to OwO me; x3 youw honour >_> is 
x3 accounted :3 a mewcifuw xDD man; ÚwÚ good x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_< ESCAWUS. xDD Doubwe ÚwÚ and >w< twebwe xDD admonyition, ÚwÚ and still forfeit uWu in x3 the 
same kind! This ^.^ wouwd >_< make xDD mewcy >_< sweaw ÚwÚ and :33 pway x3 the tywant. 
UwU PWOVOST. ^-^ A ;;w;; bawd of eleven >_> yeaws' continyuance, OwO may >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw 
honyouw. 
:33 MWS. OVERDONE. OwO My uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this >_> is one Lucio's information OwO against x3 me. 
Mistress Kate xDD Keepdown UwU was with chiwd ^.^ by ^.^ him uWu in x3 the Duke's time; 
^.^ he pwomis'd her marriage. ÚwÚ His chiwd >_> is :3 a xDD yeaw ÚwÚ and :3 a quarter ;;w;; owd 
come ^.^ Phiwip ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Jacob; UwU I uWu have :33 kept >w< it >_< mysewf; ÚwÚ and >_> see >w< how ^.^ he xDD goes 
about to abuse x3 me. 
>_< ESCAWUS. :33 That fewwow >_> is :3 a fewwow of much :3 wicense. Let ^.^ him be ^w^ caww'd 
>w< befowe >_> us. UwU Away with her to x3 pwison. Go >w< to; nyo ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ wowds. UwU [Exeunt 
OFFICEWS with xDD MISTWESS xDD OVEWDONyE] >w< Pwovost, x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew :3 Angewo xDD wiww 
nyot be ^.^ awtew'd: OwO Cwaudio ^w^ must ^-^ die ÚwÚ to-mowwow. Let ^.^ him be OwO fuwnyish'd 
with divines, ÚwÚ and uWu have aww x3 chawitabwe >_> pwepawation. ;;w;; If x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew 
;;w;; wwought ^.^ by x3 my pity, >w< it >_> shouwd nyot be UwU so with ^.^ him. 
UwU PWOVOST. ^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, ÚwÚ this >w< fwiaw hath :33 been with :3 him, ÚwÚ and :33 advis'd 
^.^ him fow x3 th' entewtainment of death. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ even, ÚwÚ good :33 fathew. 
x3 DUKE. ;;w;; Bwiss ÚwÚ and xDD goodnyess on you! 
>_< ESCAWUS. Of >_> whence OwO awe you? 
x3 DUKE. ÚwÚ Nyot of ÚwÚ this country, ^w^ though x3 my chance >_> is nyow 
;;w;; To use >w< it fow x3 my uWu time. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew 
Of >_> gwacious order, wate come from x3 the xDD See 
^w^ In >_> speciaw business from :33 his Howinyess. 
>_< ESCAWUS. >_> What nyews ^.^ abwoad :33 i' x3 th' :33 wowwd? 
x3 DUKE. ÚwÚ Nyonye, >_> but :3 that there >_> is UwU so great :3 a x3 fevew on xDD goodnyess :3 that x3 the 
x3 dissowution of >w< it ^w^ must >w< cuwe :3 it. ÚwÚ Nyuvwty >_> is >w< onwy uWu in :3 wequest; x3 and, 
>_< as >w< it ;;w;; is, >_< as uWu dangewous to be ^-^ aged uWu in xDD any uWu kind of course >_< as >w< it >_> is 
virtuous to be ^w^ constant uWu in xDD any undewtakeing. >_> Thewe >_> is scawce 
uWu twuth enough ^.^ awive to >_< make >_< societies xDD secuwe; >_> but UwU secuwity enough 
to >_< make ^.^ fewwowships ^.^ accuwst. Much ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this widdwe wuns x3 the 
^.^ wisdom of x3 the wowwd. This nyews >_> is ;;w;; owd UwU enyough, yet >w< it >_> is every 
day's ;;w;; nyews. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, of >_> what uWu disposition UwU was x3 the Duke? 
>_< ESCAWUS. x3 Onye :3 that, :33 abuv aww othew stwifes, :3 contended especially to 
^.^ knyow himself. 
x3 DUKE. >_> What :3 pweasuwe UwU was ^.^ he UwU given to? 
>_< ESCAWUS. Rather >w< wejoicing to >_> see anyothew ^.^ mewwy than ^.^ mewwy uWu at 
;;w;; anything which >w< pwofess'd to >_< make ^.^ him rejoice; :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of aww 
:3 tempewance. OwO But OwO weave ^.^ we ^.^ him to :33 his OwO events, with :3 a :3 pwayew ;;w;; they 
OwO may ^-^ pwuv >_> pwospewous; ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me ^.^ desiwe to ^.^ knyow >w< how xDD you find 
OwO Cwaudio prepar'd. UwU I ^w^ am UwU made to understand :3 that xDD you uWu have OwO went ^.^ him 
visitation. 
x3 DUKE. >w< He >_< pwofesses to uWu have uWu weceived nyo sinyistew UwU measuwe from :33 his 
^w^ judge, >_> but UwU most ^w^ wiwwingwy humbwes >_< himsewf to x3 the ^-^ detewminyation of 
justice. ÚwÚ Yet xDD had ^.^ he :33 fwamed to himsewf, ^.^ by x3 the :33 instwuction of :33 his 
fwaiwty, UwU many ;;w;; deceiving ÚwÚ pwomises of :33 wife; which I, ^.^ by x3 my ÚwÚ good 
>_> weisuwe, uWu have ^.^ discwedited to :3 him, ÚwÚ and nyow ^.^ he >_> is :3 wesowv'd to die. 
>_< ESCAWUS. >_> You uWu have paid x3 the heavens x3 youw UwU function, ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ pwisonyew 
x3 the xDD vewy >_> debt of x3 youw :3 cawwing. UwU I uWu have labour'd fow x3 the poor 
ÚwÚ gentweman to x3 the extremest >w< showe of x3 my modesty; >_> but x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew 
justice uWu have UwU I >_> found UwU so severe :3 that ^.^ he hath ;;w;; fowc'd ;;w;; me to tell ^.^ him 
^.^ he >_> is ÚwÚ indeed x3 Justice. 
x3 DUKE. ;;w;; If :33 his UwU own >w< wife answew x3 the >_< stwaitnyess of :33 his pwoceeding, >w< it 
UwU shaww :33 become ^.^ him well; wherein >_> if ^.^ he chance to fail, ^.^ he hath 
^-^ sentenc'd himself. 
>_< ESCAWUS. UwU I ^w^ am x3 going to x3 visit x3 the ^w^ pwisonyew. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
x3 DUKE. :3 Peace be with you! Exeunt UwU ESCAWUS ÚwÚ and PWOVOST 

>w< He who x3 the xDD swowd of heaven xDD wiww UwU beaw 
Should be >_< as >w< howy >_< as ^.^ sevewe; 
Pattern uWu in >_< himsewf to knyow, 
Gwace to x3 stand, ÚwÚ and viwtue go; 
uWu Mowe nor less to ;;w;; othews ÚwÚ paying 
Than ^.^ by :33 sewf-offences uWu weighing. 
Shame to ^.^ him x3 whose UwU cwuew ^.^ stwiking 
Kiwws fow :33 fauwts of :33 his UwU own liking! 
xDD Twice >w< twebwe ^-^ shame on ^w^ Angewo, 
;;w;; To >_< weed x3 my :33 vice ÚwÚ and wet :33 his grow! 
>_< O, >_> what OwO may x3 man within ^.^ him hide, 
;;w;; Though ÚwÚ angew on x3 the :33 outwawd :33 side! 
How OwO may likeness, UwU made uWu in >_< cwimes, 
^-^ Make :3 a pwactice on x3 the xDD times, 
;;w;; To dwaw with idle spiders' xDD stwings 
:3 Most ^w^ pondewous ÚwÚ and OwO substantiaw things! 
Craft OwO against :33 vice UwU I ^w^ must appwy. 
With :3 Angewo ^.^ to-nyight UwU shaww >_< wie 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; owd OwO betwothed >_> but OwO despised; 
^w^ So xDD disguise UwU shaww, ^.^ by x3 th' ^-^ disguised, 
xDD Pay with UwU fawsehood UwU fawse ;;w;; exacting, 
xDD And x3 pewfowm >w< an ;;w;; owd ^w^ contwacting. uWu Exit 




OwO Act :33 IV. Scene ^.^ I. 
uWu The moated gwange uWu at Saint Duke's 

Entew ^w^ MAWIANyA; ÚwÚ and >_> BOY >_< singing 

OwO SONG 

;;w;; Take, >_< O, OwO take UwU those lips away, 
:33 That UwU so sweetly :3 wewe uWu fowswown; 
xDD And UwU those ^w^ eyes, x3 the bweak of ^-^ day, 
^-^ Wights :3 that UwU do ^.^ miswead x3 the ÚwÚ mown; 
OwO But x3 my ^-^ kisses ;;w;; bwing OwO again, ;;w;; bwing again; 
Seals of xDD wuv, >_> but OwO seaw'd uWu in vain, OwO seaw'd uWu in OwO vain. 

Entew ^w^ DUKE, disguised >_< as >w< befowe 

^.^ MAWIANyA. ^.^ Bweak x3 off >w< thy song, ÚwÚ and ^.^ haste uWu thee ^w^ quick :3 away; 
:3 Hewe x3 comes :3 a x3 man of comfort, x3 whose advice 
>_< Hath often ^w^ stiww'd x3 my brawling >_< discontent. uWu Exit >_> BOY 
UwU I cwy xDD you mercy, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and weww couwd ÚwÚ wish 
>_> You xDD had nyot >_> found ;;w;; me OwO hewe UwU so >_> musicaw. 
Let ;;w;; me UwU excuse uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^-^ bewieve ;;w;; me >_> so, 
OwO My >_< miwth >w< it much >_< dispweas'd, >_> but pleas'd x3 my woe. 
x3 DUKE. 'Tis good; ^w^ though uWu music ;;w;; oft hath xDD such :3 a >_> chawm 
;;w;; To >_< make :33 bad ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good ;;w;; pwovoke to harm. 
UwU I pray xDD you tell ;;w;; me hath anybody ÚwÚ inquiw'd fow ;;w;; me OwO hewe ^w^ to-day. Much 
;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this time uWu have UwU I pwomis'd OwO hewe to ^.^ meet. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. >_> You uWu have nyot :33 been ÚwÚ inquiw'd :3 aftew; UwU I uWu have sat OwO hewe aww x3 day. 

Entew >_> ISABEWWA 

x3 DUKE. UwU I UwU do >_< constantwy ^-^ bewieve OwO you. uWu The time >_> is come even now. UwU I 
UwU shaww ^w^ cwave x3 youw ÚwÚ fowbeawance :3 a ^.^ wittwe. ^-^ May be UwU I xDD wiww caww ;;w;; upon 
xDD you ^-^ anyon, fow x3 some ^w^ advantage to OwO youwsewf. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. UwU I ^w^ am awways bound to OwO you. uWu Exit 
x3 DUKE. Very weww :3 met, ÚwÚ and weww x3 come. 
>_> What >_> is x3 the nyews from ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good >_> deputy? 
>w< ISABEWWA. >w< He hath :3 a >_< gawden circummur'd with ^w^ bwick, 
>_< Whose xDD westewn x3 side >_> is with :3 a ^.^ vinyeyawd back'd; 
xDD And to :3 that ^.^ vinyeyawd >_> is :3 a xDD pwanched uWu gate 
:33 That x3 makes :33 his >w< openying with ÚwÚ this ;;w;; biggew ;;w;; key; 
This othew xDD doth ÚwÚ command :3 a xDD wittwe doow 
>_< Which from x3 the ^.^ vinyeyawd to x3 the >_< gawden ÚwÚ weads. 
>_> Thewe uWu have UwU I UwU made x3 my promise 
>_> Upon x3 the x3 heavy ;;w;; middwe of x3 the >w< nyight 
;;w;; To caww ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
x3 DUKE. OwO But UwU shaww xDD you on x3 youw >_< knyowwedge find ÚwÚ this >w< way? 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I uWu have >_> ta'en :3 a >_< due ÚwÚ and uWu wawy ^-^ nyote UwU upon't; 
With x3 whispewing ÚwÚ and UwU most guiwty diwigence, 
^w^ In uWu action aww of precept, ^.^ he uWu did x3 show ;;w;; me 
uWu The uWu way twice >_< o'ew. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Awe there nyo othew UwU tokens 
Between xDD you xDD 'gweed UwU concewnying her OwO obsewvance? 
>w< ISABEWWA. :3 Nyo, nyonye, >_> but >w< onwy :3 a repair :33 i' x3 th' x3 dawk; 
xDD And :3 that UwU I uWu have >_< possess'd ^.^ him x3 my UwU most xDD stay 
UwU Can be >_> but bwief; fow UwU I uWu have UwU made ^.^ him ^.^ knyow 
UwU I uWu have :3 a xDD sewvant x3 comes with ;;w;; me along, 
:33 That uWu stays ;;w;; upon OwO me; x3 whose :3 pewsuasion >_> is 
UwU I come about x3 my ^-^ bwothew. 
x3 DUKE. 'Tis weww :3 bownye :33 up. 
UwU I uWu have nyot yet UwU made ÚwÚ knyown to uWu Mawianya 
^-^ A ;;w;; wowd of UwU this. >_> What :3 ho, :33 within! come forth. 

^.^ We-entew :33 MAWIANyA 

UwU I pray xDD you be >_> acquainted with ÚwÚ this >_> maid; 
:33 She x3 comes to UwU do xDD you UwU good. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe x3 the >_> wike. 
x3 DUKE. Do xDD you :33 pewsuade >_> youwsewf :3 that UwU I wespect you? 
^.^ MAWIANyA. ^-^ Good >_< fwiaw, UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you UwU do, ÚwÚ and uWu have >_> found :3 it. 
x3 DUKE. ;;w;; Take, >w< then, ÚwÚ this x3 youw >_< companyion ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand, 
Who hath :3 a ^-^ stowy ready fow x3 youw :3 eaw. 
UwU I UwU shaww >_< attend x3 youw leisure; >_> but >_< make haste; 
uWu The >w< vapowous >w< nyight ^w^ appwoaches. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. Will't uWu pwease xDD you UwU wawk aside? 
Exeunt :33 MAWIANyA ÚwÚ and >_> ISABEWWA 
x3 DUKE. x3 O :33 pwace ÚwÚ and greatness! xDD Miwwions of UwU fawse eyes 
^w^ Awe ^.^ stuck ;;w;; upon thee. ^w^ Vowumes of wepowt 
OwO Wun with these :3 fawse, ÚwÚ and UwU most contwawious ^w^ quest 
>_> Upon >w< thy :3 doings. ^w^ Thousand xDD escapes of wit 
^-^ Make uWu thee x3 the >w< fathew of uWu theiw idle x3 dweam, 
xDD And ^.^ wack uWu thee uWu in uWu theiw ^w^ fancies. 

^.^ We-entew :33 MAWIANyA ÚwÚ and >_> ISABEWWA 

Welcome, >w< how x3 agweed? 
>w< ISABEWWA. OwO She'ww OwO take x3 the uWu entewpwise ;;w;; upon hew, ÚwÚ fathew, 
;;w;; If xDD you ;;w;; advise :3 it. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ It >_> is nyot x3 my ^.^ consent, 
OwO But x3 my entreaty UwU too. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_< Wittwe uWu have xDD you to say, 
x3 When xDD you ÚwÚ depawt from :3 him, but, soft ÚwÚ and low, 
^-^ 'Wemembew nyow x3 my brother.' 
^.^ MAWIANyA. Fear ;;w;; me not. 
x3 DUKE. Nor, ^-^ gentwe ^w^ daughtew, feaw xDD you nyot uWu at all. 
>w< He >_> is x3 youw :33 husband on :3 a ÚwÚ pwe-contwact. 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing xDD you OwO thus togethew UwU 'tis nyo ^w^ sin, 
Sith :3 that x3 the justice of x3 youw ;;w;; titwe to ^.^ him 
^-^ Doth :33 fwouwish x3 the ^.^ deceit. ^.^ Come, wet >_> us go; 
Our >w< cown's to x3 weap, fow yet UwU ouw ^-^ tithe's to xDD sow. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The :3 pwison 

Entew PWOVOST ÚwÚ and POMPEY 

UwU PWOVOST. :3 Come hithew, sirrah. UwU Can xDD you :3 cut x3 off :3 a :33 man's head? 
uWu POMPEY. ;;w;; If x3 the x3 man be :3 a ^.^ bachewow, ^w^ siw, UwU I can; >_> but >_> if ^.^ he be :3 a 
mawwied ^w^ man, uWu he's :33 his ^w^ wife's head, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ can >_< nyevew :3 cut of :3 a 
xDD woman's >_> head. 
UwU PWOVOST. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, OwO weave ;;w;; me x3 youw ^.^ snyatches ÚwÚ and yield ;;w;; me :3 a direct 
answer. >_< To-mowwow mownying OwO awe to ^-^ die OwO Cwaudio ÚwÚ and >_> Bawnyawdinye. :3 Hewe 
>_> is uWu in UwU ouw :3 pwison :3 a ^w^ common uWu executionyew, who uWu in :33 his ^.^ office lacks :3 a 
helper; >_> if xDD you xDD wiww OwO take >w< it on xDD you to xDD assist :3 him, >w< it UwU shaww xDD wedeem 
xDD you from x3 youw gyves; >_> if >_> nyot, xDD you UwU shaww uWu have x3 youw full time of 
^w^ impwisonment, ÚwÚ and x3 youw dewivewance with >w< an uWu unpitied UwU whipping, fow 
xDD you uWu have :33 been :3 a :3 nyotowious UwU bawd. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU Siw, UwU I uWu have :33 been >w< an unwawfuw ;;w;; bawd time x3 out of xDD mind; >_> but yet 
UwU I xDD wiww be :3 content to be :3 a ÚwÚ wawfuw uWu hangman. UwU I ^.^ wouwd be uWu gwad to 
receive x3 some instructions from x3 my fewwow partner. 
UwU PWOVOST. >_> What :3 ho, Abhorson! :3 Whewe's x3 Abhowson OwO thewe? 

Entew ^-^ ABHOWSON 

ABHORSON. Do xDD you >_> caww, UwU siw? 
UwU PWOVOST. Siwwah, hewe's :3 a fewwow xDD wiww OwO hewp xDD you to-mowwow uWu in x3 youw 
xDD execution. ;;w;; If xDD you think >w< it ^w^ meet, ÚwÚ compound with ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 the >w< yeaw, 
ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him abide OwO hewe with uWu you; >_> if >_> nyot, use ^.^ him fow x3 the ÚwÚ pwesent, 
ÚwÚ and dismiss ^.^ him. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot pwead :33 his estimation with uWu you; ^.^ he hath 
:33 been :3 a UwU bawd. 
ABHORSON. ^-^ A ^w^ bawd, UwU siw? >w< Fie ;;w;; upon x3 him! >w< He xDD wiww discredit UwU ouw mystery. 
UwU PWOVOST. Go ^.^ to, siw; xDD you >w< weigh ^.^ equawwy; :3 a ÚwÚ feathew xDD wiww turn x3 the 
scawe. uWu Exit 
uWu POMPEY. ÚwÚ Pway, ^w^ siw, ^.^ by x3 youw ÚwÚ good ^-^ favouw- fow UwU suwewy, ^w^ siw, :3 a ÚwÚ good 
^.^ favouw xDD you uWu have >_> but :3 that xDD you uWu have :3 a >_< hanging wook- UwU do xDD you >_> caww, 
^w^ siw, x3 youw occupation :3 a >_> mystewy? 
ABHORSON. Ay, siw; :3 a mystery. 
uWu POMPEY. x3 Painting, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu have heard say, >_> is :3 a mystewy; ÚwÚ and x3 youw 
OwO whowes, ^w^ siw, ^.^ being members of x3 my occupation, UwU using OwO painting, UwU do 
^-^ pwuv x3 my occupation :3 a mystewy; >_> but >_> what mystery there >_> shouwd be 
uWu in hanging, >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd be uWu hang'd, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot imaginye. 
ABHORSON. UwU Siw, >w< it >_> is :3 a mystery. 
uWu POMPEY. :3 Pwoof? 
ABHORSON. Evewy true :33 man's apparel ^w^ fits x3 youw x3 thief: >_> if >w< it be ^w^ too 
xDD wittwe fow x3 youw :33 thief, x3 youw true x3 man ^w^ thinks >w< it big >_< enyough; >_> if >w< it 
be ^w^ too big fow x3 youw :33 thief, x3 youw UwU thief ^w^ thinks >w< it xDD wittwe >_< enyough; UwU so 
every true :33 man's apparel ^w^ fits x3 youw >w< thief. 

^.^ We-entew PWOVOST 

UwU PWOVOST. ^w^ Awe xDD you x3 agweed? 
uWu POMPEY. UwU Siw, UwU I xDD wiww serve him; fow UwU I UwU do find x3 youw ;;w;; hangman >_> is :3 a ^.^ mowe 
penitent OwO twade than x3 youw ^w^ bawd; ^.^ he xDD doth ^w^ oftenyew ^w^ ask forgiveness. 
UwU PWOVOST. >_< You, sirrah, provide x3 youw >_< bwock ÚwÚ and x3 youw axe to-mowwow 
fouw OwO o'cwock. 
ABHORSON. :3 Come ;;w;; on, ^w^ bawd; UwU I xDD wiww instwuct uWu thee uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ twade; x3 fowwow. 
uWu POMPEY. UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe to ÚwÚ weawn, siw; ÚwÚ and UwU I hope, >_> if xDD you uWu have ;;w;; occasion 
to use ;;w;; me fow x3 youw UwU own tuwn, xDD you UwU shaww find ;;w;; me xDD yawe; fow OwO twuwy, 
^w^ siw, fow x3 youw OwO kindnyess UwU I >_> owe xDD you :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 tuwn. 
UwU PWOVOST. ;;w;; Caww ÚwÚ hithew Bawnyawdinye ÚwÚ and ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Exeunt ^-^ ABHOWSON ÚwÚ and POMPEY 
xDD Th' one >_> has x3 my pity; nyot :3 a jot x3 the ÚwÚ othew, 
uWu Being :3 a muwdewew, ^w^ though ^.^ he :3 wewe x3 my ^-^ bwothew. 

Entew xDD CWAUDIO 

x3 Wook, hewe's x3 the warrant, Claudio, fow >w< thy ÚwÚ death; 
'Tis nyow >_< dead midnight, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by eight to-mowwow 
^.^ Thou ^w^ must be UwU made xDD immowtaw. :3 Whewe's Bawnyawdinye? 
CLAUDIO. ;;w;; As ÚwÚ fast :3 wock'd x3 up uWu in :33 sweep >_< as ;;w;; guiwtwess labour 
x3 When >w< it wies stawkwy uWu in x3 the ^w^ twavewwew's xDD bonyes. 
>w< He xDD wiww nyot wake. 
UwU PWOVOST. Who ^.^ can UwU do ÚwÚ good on him? 
xDD Weww, x3 go, >_> pwepawe OwO youwsewf. xDD [Knyocking ;;w;; within] OwO But hark, >_> what 
^w^ nyoise? 
uWu Heaven UwU give x3 youw ;;w;; spiwits comfort! uWu Exit xDD CWAUDIO 
xDD [Knyocking continyues] ^-^ By ÚwÚ and by. 
UwU I UwU hope >w< it >_> is x3 some UwU pawdon ow reprieve 
For x3 the UwU most ^-^ gentwe ^-^ Cwaudio. 

Entew ^w^ DUKE, disguised >_< as >w< befowe 

Welcome, :33 fathew. 
x3 DUKE. uWu The best ÚwÚ and UwU whowesom'st ;;w;; spiwits of x3 the >w< nyight 
xDD Envewop UwU you, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ Pwovost! Who ^w^ caww'd OwO hewe of uWu wate? 
UwU PWOVOST. ÚwÚ Nyonye, xDD since x3 the OwO cuwfew OwO wung. 
x3 DUKE. ÚwÚ Nyot Isabel? 
UwU PWOVOST. No. 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ They xDD wiww >w< then, ewe't be wong. 
UwU PWOVOST. >_> What uWu comfowt >_> is fow Cwaudio? 
x3 DUKE. >_> Thewe's x3 some uWu in ^-^ hope. 
UwU PWOVOST. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a UwU bittew xDD deputy. 
x3 DUKE. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, nyot so; :33 his >w< wife >_> is pawawwew'd 
Even with x3 the ^w^ stwoke ÚwÚ and winye of :33 his great justice; 
>w< He xDD doth with >w< howy OwO abstinyence uWu subdue 
:33 That uWu in >_< himsewf which ^.^ he :33 spuws on :33 his pow'w 
;;w;; To OwO quawify uWu in ÚwÚ othews. ^.^ Wewe ^.^ he UwU meaw'd with :3 that 
>_< Which ^.^ he cowwects, xDD then :3 wewe ^.^ he tyrannous; 
OwO But ÚwÚ this ^.^ being >_> so, uWu he's ;;w;; just. xDD [Knyocking ;;w;; within] Now OwO awe ;;w;; they 
x3 come. uWu Exit PWOVOST 
This >_> is :3 a ^-^ gentwe >w< pwovost; seldom when 
uWu The x3 steewed gaowew >_> is x3 the :33 fwiend of ^.^ men. xDD [Knyocking ;;w;; within] 
How now, >_> what noise! :33 That spirit's >_< possess'd with ^.^ haste 
:33 That wounds x3 th' ^-^ unsisting postewn with these >w< stwokes. 

^.^ We-entew PWOVOST 

UwU PWOVOST. >_> Thewe ^.^ he ^w^ must xDD stay ÚwÚ untiw x3 the officer 
Awise to wet ^.^ him UwU in; ^.^ he >_> is ^w^ caww'd :33 up. 
x3 DUKE. :3 Have xDD you nyo countewmand fow OwO Cwaudio yet 
OwO But ^.^ he ^w^ must ^-^ die ^-^ to-mowwow? 
UwU PWOVOST. ÚwÚ Nyonye, ^w^ siw, none. 
x3 DUKE. ;;w;; As nyeaw x3 the >_> dawnying, >w< Pwovost, >_< as >w< it ;;w;; is, 
>_> You UwU shaww hear ^.^ mowe ere xDD mownying. 
UwU PWOVOST. :33 Happiwy 
>_> You ^-^ something know; yet UwU I ^-^ bewieve there x3 comes 
No countermand; nyo xDD such ^w^ exampwe uWu have >_< we. 
:33 Besides, ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD vewy ^-^ siege of justice, 
Lord :3 Angewo hath to x3 the public ear 
Pwofess'd x3 the ^.^ contwawy. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 
This >_> is :33 his :3 wowdship's man. 
x3 DUKE. xDD And OwO hewe x3 comes :33 Cwaudio's pardon. 
x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My ;;w;; wowd hath sent xDD you ÚwÚ this UwU nyote; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this further 
charge, :3 that xDD you ^w^ swewve nyot from x3 the xDD smawwest uWu awticwe of :33 it, 
:3 nyeithew uWu in time, >w< mattew, ow othew ÚwÚ ciwcumstance. ^-^ Good uWu mowwow; fow 
>_< as UwU I OwO take :33 it, >w< it >_> is almost x3 day. 
UwU PWOVOST. UwU I UwU shaww UwU obey ^.^ him. uWu Exit MESSENGEW 
x3 DUKE. :3 [Aside] This >_> is :33 his pardon, >w< puwchas'd ^.^ by xDD such x3 sin 
For which x3 the ^w^ pawdonyew >_< himsewf >_> is UwU in; 
OwO Hence hath offence :33 his ^w^ quick >w< cewewity, 
x3 When >w< it >_> is :3 bownye uWu in xDD high authowity. 
x3 When :33 vice x3 makes mercy, mewcy's UwU so >_< extended 
:33 That fow x3 the fauwt's wuv >_> is x3 th' offender :33 fwiended. 
>_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, >_> what nyews? 
UwU PWOVOST. UwU I told xDD you: Lord ^w^ Angewo, ;;w;; bewike uWu thinking ;;w;; me remiss uWu in >_< minye 
office, ÚwÚ awakens ;;w;; me with ÚwÚ this ;;w;; unwonted OwO putting-on; uWu methinks 
OwO stwangewy, fow ^.^ he hath nyot ;;w;; us'd >w< it befowe. 
x3 DUKE. >_> Pway UwU you, >_> wet's heaw. 
UwU PWOVOST. [Weads] ;;w;; 'Whatsoevew xDD you OwO may hear to x3 the >_< contwawy, wet 
OwO Cwaudio be executed ^.^ by fouw of x3 the clock, x3 and, uWu in x3 the ;;w;; aftewnyoon, 
>_> Bawnyawdinye. For x3 my xDD bettew x3 satisfaction, wet ;;w;; me uWu have :33 Cwaudio's 
>_> head sent ;;w;; me ^.^ by five. Let ÚwÚ this be :33 duwy performed, with :3 a xDD thought 
:3 that ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ depends on >w< it than ^.^ we ^w^ must yet deliver. ^-^ Thus fail nyot 
to UwU do x3 youw office, >_< as xDD you xDD wiww answew >w< it uWu at x3 youw ^-^ pewiw.' 
>_> What >_> say xDD you to uWu this, UwU siw? 
x3 DUKE. >_> What >_> is :3 that Bawnyawdinye who >_> is to be executed uWu in x3 th' 
afternoon? 
UwU PWOVOST. ^-^ A >_> Bohemian OwO bown; >_> but OwO hewe nurs'd x3 up ÚwÚ and bred. 
x3 Onye :3 that >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ pwisonyew >w< nyinye years ^-^ owd. 
x3 DUKE. How ^-^ came >w< it :3 that x3 the absent >w< Duke xDD had nyot xDD eithew :33 dewivew'd ^.^ him 
to :33 his ^w^ wibewty ow executed him? UwU I uWu have heard >w< it UwU was OwO evew :33 his 
^w^ mannyew to UwU do :3 so. 
UwU PWOVOST. ÚwÚ His ^w^ fwiends still ;;w;; wwought reprieves fow him; x3 and, :33 indeed, 
:33 his fact, >w< tiww nyow uWu in x3 the guvwnment of Lord ^w^ Angewo, ^-^ came nyot to 
>w< an ÚwÚ undoubted :33 pwoof. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ It >_> is nyow appawent? 
UwU PWOVOST. :3 Most manifest, ÚwÚ and nyot >w< denyied ^.^ by himself. 
x3 DUKE. >_< Hath ^.^ he :3 bownye >_< himsewf ÚwÚ penyitentwy uWu in UwU pwison? How ;;w;; seems ^.^ he to 
be touch'd? 
UwU PWOVOST. ^-^ A x3 man :3 that appwehends :33 death nyo ^.^ mowe ^-^ dweadfuwwy >_> but >_< as :3 a 
^w^ dwunken ^w^ sweep; careless, ^w^ weckwess, ÚwÚ and fearless, of UwU what's past, 
ÚwÚ pwesent, ow to >_< come; insensible of OwO mowtawity ÚwÚ and desperately 
mowtaw. 
x3 DUKE. >w< He wants xDD advice. 
UwU PWOVOST. >w< He xDD wiww hear none. >w< He hath evewmowe xDD had x3 the ^w^ wibewty of x3 the 
prison; UwU give ^.^ him OwO weave to escape hence, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd x3 nyot; UwU dwunk UwU many 
times :3 a ^-^ day, >_> if nyot UwU many OwO days entiwewy drunk. We uWu have xDD vewy ;;w;; oft 
:33 awak'd :3 him, >_< as >_> if to carry ^.^ him to execution, ÚwÚ and ^w^ show'd ^.^ him :3 a 
ÚwÚ seeming :33 wawwant fow uWu it; >w< it hath nyot ^-^ muvd ^.^ him uWu at all. 
x3 DUKE. uWu Mowe of ^.^ him x3 anyon. >_> Thewe >_> is ÚwÚ wwitten uWu in x3 youw >_> bwow, >w< Pwovost, 
honesty ÚwÚ and >_< constancy. ;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ wead >w< it nyot OwO twuwy, x3 my UwU ancient :3 skiww 
beguiwes OwO me; >_> but uWu in x3 the boldness of x3 my x3 cunnying UwU I xDD wiww uWu way mysewf 
uWu in ÚwÚ hazawd. Claudio, ÚwÚ whom OwO hewe xDD you uWu have :33 wawwant to :33 execute, >_> is nyo 
:33 gweatew forfeit to x3 the law than :3 Angewo who hath ^-^ sentenc'd ^.^ him. ;;w;; To 
>_< make xDD you understand ÚwÚ this uWu in :3 a UwU manyifested xDD effect, UwU I ^w^ cwave >_> but fouw 
>_> days' respite; fow x3 the which xDD you OwO awe to UwU do ;;w;; me both :3 a xDD pwesent ÚwÚ and 
:3 a uWu dangewous uWu couwtesy. 
UwU PWOVOST. ÚwÚ Pway, ^w^ siw, uWu in UwU what? 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ In x3 the >_> dewaying death. 
UwU PWOVOST. OwO Awack! How OwO may UwU I UwU do :33 it, xDD having x3 the >_> houw limited, ÚwÚ and >w< an 
express >_> command, :33 undew :33 penyawty, to ÚwÚ dewivew :33 his >_> head uWu in x3 the x3 view 
of x3 Angewo? UwU I OwO may >_< make x3 my case >_< as Claudio's, to OwO cwoss ÚwÚ this uWu in x3 the 
smawwest. 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ By x3 the vow of >_< minye order, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, >_> if x3 my instructions 
OwO may be x3 youw x3 guide. Let ÚwÚ this Bawnyawdinye be ÚwÚ this mownying >_> executed, 
ÚwÚ and :33 his >_> head :3 bownye to Angewo. 
UwU PWOVOST. :3 Angewo hath :3 seen them xDD both, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww OwO discuvw x3 the UwU favouw. 
x3 DUKE. >_< O, ^w^ death's :3 a great ^.^ disguisew; ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO may >_< add to :3 it. ^w^ Shave 
x3 the >_> head ÚwÚ and :33 tie x3 the beawd; ÚwÚ and >_> say >w< it UwU was x3 the ^.^ desiwe of x3 the 
penitent to be UwU so baw'd >w< befowe :33 his death. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the course >_> is 
:33 common. ;;w;; If ;;w;; anything faww to xDD you ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this ^.^ mowe than thanks ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ good fowtunye, ^.^ by x3 the ^.^ saint ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^-^ pwofess, UwU I xDD wiww pwead OwO against 
>w< it with x3 my life. 
UwU PWOVOST. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, ÚwÚ good father; >w< it >_> is OwO against x3 my uWu oath. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Wewe xDD you sworn to x3 the ;;w;; Duke, ow to x3 the >_> deputy? 
UwU PWOVOST. ;;w;; To ^.^ him ÚwÚ and to :33 his >_< substitutes. 
x3 DUKE. >_> You xDD wiww think xDD you uWu have UwU made nyo offence >_> if x3 the >w< Duke OwO avouch 
x3 the justice of x3 youw dealing? 
UwU PWOVOST. OwO But >_> what likelihood >_> is uWu in ^-^ that? 
x3 DUKE. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a xDD wesembwance, >_> but :3 a certainty. ÚwÚ Yet xDD since UwU I >_> see xDD you 
x3 feawfuw, :3 that :3 nyeithew x3 my uWu coat, >w< integwity, nor persuasion, ^.^ can 
with ^w^ ease x3 attempt UwU you, UwU I xDD wiww OwO go further than UwU I ^-^ meant, to pluck 
aww OwO feaws x3 out of OwO you. Wook UwU you, ^w^ siw, OwO hewe >_> is x3 the uWu hand ÚwÚ and UwU seaw of 
x3 the uWu Duke. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the :3 chawactew, UwU I doubt x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ signyet >_> is 
nyot ;;w;; stwange to OwO you. 
UwU PWOVOST. UwU I ^.^ knyow them xDD both. 
x3 DUKE. uWu The contents of ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the ^-^ wetuwn of x3 the ^-^ Duke; xDD you UwU shaww 
:3 anyon >_> uvw-wead >w< it uWu at x3 youw x3 pweasuwe, :3 whewe xDD you UwU shaww find within 
these >w< two OwO days ^.^ he xDD wiww be hewe. This >_> is :3 a ^.^ thing :3 that :3 Angewo xDD knyows 
x3 nyot; fow ^.^ he ÚwÚ this xDD vewy day weceives x3 wettews of ;;w;; stwange OwO tenyouw, 
x3 pewchance of x3 the Duke's UwU death, x3 pewchance entering x3 into x3 some 
OwO monyastewy; but, ^.^ by chance, >_< nyothing of >_> what >_> is >w< wwit. x3 Wook, x3 th' 
^-^ unfowding :33 staw ;;w;; cawws x3 up x3 the ^-^ shephewd. >_> Put nyot >_> youwsewf x3 into 
amazement >w< how these ^.^ things >_> shouwd x3 be: aww xDD difficuwties OwO awe >_> but 
^w^ easy when ;;w;; they OwO awe knyown. ;;w;; Caww x3 youw uWu executionyew, ÚwÚ and x3 off with 
Barnardine's >_> head. UwU I xDD wiww UwU give ^.^ him :3 a xDD pwesent ÚwÚ shwift, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; advise 
^.^ him fow :3 a xDD bettew ;;w;; pwace. ÚwÚ Yet xDD you OwO awe ÚwÚ amaz'd, >_> but ÚwÚ this UwU shaww 
>_> absowutewy wesowve OwO you. :3 Come :3 away; >w< it >_> is almost ^-^ cweaw uWu dawn. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The :3 pwison 

Entew POMPEY 

uWu POMPEY. UwU I ^w^ am >_< as weww >_> acquainted OwO hewe >_< as UwU I UwU was uWu in UwU ouw ;;w;; house of 
x3 pwofession; one ^.^ wouwd think >w< it :3 wewe Mistress xDD Ovewdonye's UwU own 
house, fow OwO hewe be UwU many of her ;;w;; owd xDD customews. ^.^ Fiwst, hewe's xDD young 
>_< Mastew ^-^ Wash; uWu he's uWu in fow :3 a :3 commodity of >_> bwown paper ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd 
:3 gingew, >w< nyinye ÚwÚ scowe ÚwÚ and seventeen uWu pounds, of which ^.^ he UwU made five 
>w< mawks ready money. OwO Mawwy, xDD then gingew UwU was nyot much uWu in ÚwÚ wequest, 
fow x3 the ;;w;; owd x3 women :3 wewe aww uWu dead. UwU Then >_> is there OwO hewe one >_< Mastew 
Capew, uWu at x3 the >_> suit of >_< Mastew ÚwÚ Thweepiwe x3 the ÚwÚ mewcew, fow x3 some fouw 
^w^ suits of >_< peach-cowouw'd UwU satin, which nyow xDD peaches ^.^ him :3 a x3 beggaw. 
UwU Then uWu have ^.^ we OwO hewe xDD young ^.^ Dizy, ÚwÚ and xDD young >_< Mastew ^w^ Deepvow, ÚwÚ and 
>_< Mastew ^.^ Coppewspuw, ÚwÚ and >_< Mastew Starvelackey, x3 the rapier ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ daggew 
^w^ man, ÚwÚ and xDD young ÚwÚ Dwopheiw :3 that kill'd ÚwÚ wusty x3 Pudding, ÚwÚ and >_< Mastew 
Fowthwight x3 the tiwtew, ÚwÚ and >_< bwave >_< Mastew Shootie x3 the great 
x3 twavewwew, ÚwÚ and >w< wiwd ÚwÚ Hawfcan :3 that stabb'd >w< Pots, x3 and, UwU I >_< think, 
>w< fowty more- aww great ;;w;; doews uWu in UwU ouw twade, ÚwÚ and OwO awe nyow UwU 'fow x3 the 
Lord's sake.' 

Entew ^-^ ABHOWSON 

ABHORSON. Siwwah, ;;w;; bwing Bawnyawdinye hithew. 
uWu POMPEY. >_< Mastew :3 Bawnyawdinye! >_> You ^w^ must rise ÚwÚ and be uWu hang'd, >_< Mastew 
:3 Bawnyawdinye! 
ABHORSON. >_> What :3 ho, :3 Bawnyawdinye! 
BAWNyAWDINyE. :33 [Within] ^-^ A uWu pox ^.^ o' x3 youw throats! Who x3 makes :3 that noise 
OwO thewe? >_> What OwO awe you? 
uWu POMPEY. uWu Youw OwO fwiends, siw; x3 the uWu hangman. >_> You ^w^ must be UwU so UwU good, ^w^ siw, 
to rise ÚwÚ and be put to death. 
BAWNyAWDINyE. :3 [ OwO Within xDD ] :33 Away, xDD you :33 wogue, :3 away; UwU I ^w^ am xDD sweepy. 
ABHORSON. Teww ^.^ him ^.^ he ^w^ must >w< awake, ÚwÚ and :3 that quickly UwU too. 
uWu POMPEY. ÚwÚ Pway, >_< Mastew :33 Bawnyawdinye, awake >w< tiww xDD you OwO awe >_> executed, ÚwÚ and 
:33 sweep uWu aftewwawds. 
ABHORSON. Go uWu in to :3 him, ÚwÚ and :3 fetch ^.^ him OwO out. 
uWu POMPEY. >w< He >_> is uWu coming, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he >_> is >w< coming; UwU I hear :33 his >w< stwaw rustle. 

Entew UwU BAWNyAWDINyE 

ABHORSON. Is x3 the axe ;;w;; upon x3 the :3 bwock, ÚwÚ siwwah? 
uWu POMPEY. Very :3 weady, sir. 
BAWNyAWDINyE. How now, >_> Abhowson, UwU what's x3 the nyews with you? 
ABHORSON. ^-^ Twuwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ desiwe xDD you to >_< cwap x3 into x3 youw pwayews; 
for, wook UwU you, x3 the wawwant's x3 come. 
BAWNyAWDINyE. >_> You :33 wogue, UwU I uWu have :33 been UwU dwinking aww ^w^ nyight; UwU I ^w^ am nyot 
:3 fitted xDD fow't. 
uWu POMPEY. >_< O, x3 the better, sir! For ^.^ he :3 that dwinks aww >w< nyight ÚwÚ and >_> is 
hanged betimes uWu in x3 the mownying OwO may :33 sweep x3 the sounder aww x3 the :3 nyext 
x3 day. 

Entew ^w^ DUKE, disguised >_< as >w< befowe 

ABHORSON. Wook UwU you, ^w^ siw, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 youw ghostly :33 fathew. 
Do ^.^ we xDD jest now, think you? 
x3 DUKE. UwU Siw, >_< induced ^.^ by x3 my chawity, ÚwÚ and hearing >w< how OwO hastiwy xDD you OwO awe 
to depart, UwU I ^w^ am come to ;;w;; advise UwU you, uWu comfowt UwU you, ÚwÚ and pray with 
OwO you. 
BAWNyAWDINyE. uWu Fwiaw, nyot x3 I; UwU I uWu have :33 been UwU dwinking x3 hawd aww night, ÚwÚ and 
UwU I xDD wiww uWu have ^.^ mowe time to >_> pwepawe uWu me, ow ;;w;; they UwU shaww xDD beat x3 out x3 my 
brains with >_> biwwets. UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_< consent to ^-^ die ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, ^w^ that's 
cewtain. 
x3 DUKE. >_< O, UwU Siw, xDD you :3 must; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU I :33 beseech xDD you 
Wook forward on x3 the ^w^ jouwnyey xDD you UwU shaww ÚwÚ go. 
BAWNyAWDINyE. UwU I >_< sweaw UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^-^ die ^w^ to-day fow xDD any :33 man's UwU pewsuasion. 
x3 DUKE. OwO But hear :3 you- 
BAWNyAWDINyE. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a wowd; >_> if xDD you uWu have ;;w;; anything to >_> say to uWu me, come to 
x3 my wawd; fow thence xDD wiww nyot UwU I ^w^ to-day. uWu Exit 
x3 DUKE. UwU Unfit to ^w^ wive ow die. x3 O OwO gwavew :33 heawt! 
>w< Aftew :3 him, UwU fewwows; ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him to x3 the block. 
Exeunt ^-^ ABHOWSON ÚwÚ and POMPEY 

Entew PWOVOST 

UwU PWOVOST. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, >w< how UwU do xDD you find x3 the prisoner? 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ A creature unprepar'd, OwO unmeet fow ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And to transport ^.^ him uWu in x3 the ^-^ mind ^.^ he >_> is 
^.^ Wewe uWu damnyabwe. 
UwU PWOVOST. :3 Hewe uWu in x3 the pwison, ÚwÚ fathew, 
>_> Thewe >w< died ÚwÚ this mownying of :3 a UwU cwuew x3 fevew 
x3 Onye >_> Wagozinye, :3 a UwU most :3 nyotowious ^.^ piwate, 
^-^ A x3 man of :33 Cwaudio's uWu yeaws; :33 his ^w^ beawd ÚwÚ and >_> head 
;;w;; Just of :33 his :3 cowouw. >_> What >_> if ^.^ we UwU do x3 omit 
This >_> wepwobate >w< tiww ^.^ he :3 wewe weww OwO incwin'd, 
xDD And satisfy x3 the OwO deputy with x3 the >w< visage 
Of >_> Wagozinye, ^.^ mowe ^.^ wike to Cwaudio? 
x3 DUKE. >_< O, UwU 'tis >w< an :33 accident :3 that heaven :33 pwovides! 
OwO Dispatch >w< it ^-^ pwesentwy; x3 the >_> houw ÚwÚ dwaws on 
Pwefix'd ^.^ by Angewo. xDD See ÚwÚ this be :33 donye, 
xDD And sent accowding to :33 command; whiwes UwU I 
xDD Pewsuade ÚwÚ this wude uWu wwetch ^w^ wiwwingwy to die. 
UwU PWOVOST. This UwU shaww be :33 donye, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ fathew, presently. 
OwO But Bawnyawdinye ^w^ must ^-^ die ÚwÚ this afternoon; 
xDD And >w< how UwU shaww ^.^ we >w< continyue Claudio, 
;;w;; To :3 save ;;w;; me from x3 the danger :3 that ^w^ might come 
;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 wewe ÚwÚ knyown ^.^ awive? 
x3 DUKE. Let ÚwÚ this be UwU donye: 
>_> Put them uWu in secret ^-^ howds, both Bawnyawdinye ÚwÚ and ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Ere twice x3 the sun hath UwU made :33 his UwU jouwnyaw :3 gweeting 
;;w;; To x3 the :33 undew genyewation, xDD you UwU shaww find 
uWu Youw :33 safety manyifested. 
UwU PWOVOST. UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw fwee OwO dependant. 
x3 DUKE. OwO Quick, >_> dispatch, ÚwÚ and >_> send x3 the >_> head to Angewo. 
uWu Exit PWOVOST 
Now xDD wiww UwU I >w< wwite x3 wettews to ^-^ Angewo- 
uWu The >w< Pwovost, ^.^ he UwU shaww UwU beaw OwO them- x3 whose contents 
Shall >_> witnyess to ^.^ him UwU I ^w^ am nyeaw uWu at ^.^ home, 
xDD And :3 that, ^.^ by great injunctions, UwU I ^w^ am bound 
;;w;; To enter ^-^ pubwicwy. xDD Him I'll ^.^ desiwe 
;;w;; To :3 meet ;;w;; me uWu at x3 the OwO consecwated :33 fount, 
^-^ A :33 weague bewow x3 the >_> city; ÚwÚ and from thence, 
^-^ By UwU cowd ^.^ gwadation ÚwÚ and ^.^ weww-bawanc'd fowm. 
We UwU shaww proceed with Angewo. 

^.^ We-entew PWOVOST 

UwU PWOVOST. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the head; I'll carry >w< it :3 mysewf. 
x3 DUKE. Convenyient >_> is :3 it. ^-^ Make :3 a UwU swift OwO wetuwn; 
For UwU I ^.^ wouwd commune with xDD you of xDD such ^.^ things 
:33 That ^.^ want nyo ear >_> but x3 youws. 
UwU PWOVOST. I'll >_< make aww ;;w;; speed. uWu Exit 
>w< ISABEWWA. :3 [ OwO Within xDD ] uWu Peace, :3 ho, be here! 
x3 DUKE. uWu The >_> tongue of ÚwÚ Isabew. >_> She's come to ^.^ knyow 
;;w;; If yet her brother's UwU pawdon be come hithew; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww >_< keep her ÚwÚ ignyowant of her UwU good, 
;;w;; To >_< make her ^-^ heavenwy UwU comfowts of despair 
x3 When >w< it >_> is least :3 expected. 

Entew >_> ISABEWWA 

>w< ISABEWWA. >w< Ho, ^.^ by x3 youw leave! 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ Good mownying to UwU you, >w< faiw ÚwÚ and >_> gwacious >w< daughtew. 
>w< ISABEWWA. uWu The better, UwU given ;;w;; me ^.^ by UwU so >w< howy :3 a man. 
>_< Hath yet x3 the OwO deputy sent x3 my brother's xDD pawdon? 
x3 DUKE. >w< He hath releas'd :3 him, Isabel, from x3 the wowwd. 
ÚwÚ His >_> head >_> is x3 off ÚwÚ and sent to Angewo. 
>w< ISABEWWA. Nyay, >_> but >w< it >_> is nyot :3 so. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ It >_> is nyo :3 othew. 
uWu Show x3 youw wisdom, ^w^ daughtew, uWu in x3 youw ^-^ cwose patience, 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_< O, UwU I xDD wiww to ^.^ him ÚwÚ and pluck x3 out :33 his xDD eyes! 
x3 DUKE. >_> You UwU shaww nyot be admitted to :33 his :33 sight. 
>w< ISABEWWA. Unhappy :33 Cwaudio! ^.^ Wwetched Isabew! 
Injurious ;;w;; wowwd! :3 Most uWu damnyed uWu Angewo! 
x3 DUKE. This nor OwO huwts ^.^ him nor pwofits xDD you :3 a xDD jot; 
OwO Fowbeaw :33 it, thewefowe; UwU give x3 youw cause to UwU heaven. 
>_> Mawk >_> what UwU I say, which xDD you UwU shaww find 
^-^ By every syllable :3 a faithfuw >_> vewity. 
uWu The >w< Duke x3 comes ^.^ home ÚwÚ to-mowwow. Nyay, xDD dwy x3 youw :3 eyes. 
x3 Onye of UwU ouw covent, ÚwÚ and :33 his confessow, 
>w< Gives ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this ^.^ instance. x3 Awweady ^.^ he hath cawwied 
x3 Nyotice to Escalus ÚwÚ and ^w^ Angewo, 
Who UwU do >_> pwepawe to :3 meet ^.^ him uWu at x3 the ^.^ gates, 
>_> Thewe to UwU give x3 up uWu theiw xDD pow'w. ;;w;; If xDD you ^-^ can, >_> pace x3 youw ^.^ wisdom 
^w^ In :3 that ÚwÚ good path :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ wish >w< it x3 go, 
xDD And xDD you UwU shaww uWu have x3 youw ^w^ bosom on ÚwÚ this :3 wwetch, 
Gwace of x3 the ;;w;; Duke, :33 wevenges to x3 youw uWu heawt, 
xDD And general honyouw. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ diwected ^.^ by OwO you. 
x3 DUKE. This letter, >w< then, to uWu Fwiaw Petew ^w^ give; 
'Tis :3 that ^.^ he sent ;;w;; me of x3 the Duke's wetuwn. 
Say, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this token, UwU I ^.^ desiwe :33 his >_< company 
At Mariana's ;;w;; house to-night. :3 Hew cause ÚwÚ and >_> youws 
I'll :3 pewfect ^.^ him withal; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww ;;w;; bwing xDD you 
^.^ Befowe x3 the ^-^ Duke; ÚwÚ and to x3 the >_> head of :3 Angewo 
^w^ Accuse ^.^ him ^.^ home ÚwÚ and >_> home. For x3 my poor ;;w;; sewf, 
UwU I ^w^ am combinyed ^.^ by :3 a uWu sacwed ^w^ vow, 
xDD And UwU shaww be UwU absent. uWu Wend xDD you with ÚwÚ this >_> wettew. 
xDD Command these fretting watews from x3 youw eyes 
With :3 a >w< wight heawt; :33 twust nyot x3 my >w< howy order, 
;;w;; If UwU I ;;w;; pewvewt x3 youw course. Who's hewe? 

Entew WUCIO 

LUCIO. ^-^ Good xDD even. uWu Fwiaw, where's x3 the Provost? 
x3 DUKE. ÚwÚ Nyot :33 within, sir. 
LUCIO. x3 O OwO pwetty Isabewwa, UwU I ^w^ am pawe uWu at >_< minye >_< heawt to >_> see ^.^ thinye eyes 
UwU so red. ^.^ Thou ^w^ must be uWu patient. UwU I ^w^ am >_> fain to ÚwÚ dinye ÚwÚ and UwU sup with 
UwU watew ÚwÚ and >w< bwan; UwU I dawe nyot fow x3 my >_> head ^w^ fiww x3 my belly; one 
:33 fwuitfuw ^w^ meaw ^.^ wouwd uWu set ;;w;; me to't. OwO But ;;w;; they >_> say x3 the >w< Duke xDD wiww be 
OwO hewe ÚwÚ to-mowwow. ^-^ By x3 my troth, Isabel, UwU I :3 wov'd >w< thy ^-^ bwothew. ;;w;; If x3 the 
;;w;; owd OwO fantasticaw >w< Duke of dark ^-^ cownyews xDD had :33 been uWu at ^.^ home, ^.^ he xDD had 
wived. uWu Exit >_> ISABEWWA 
x3 DUKE. UwU Siw, x3 the >w< Duke >_> is marvellous xDD wittwe beholding to x3 youw xDD wepowts; 
>_> but x3 the best ;;w;; is, ^.^ he ;;w;; wives nyot uWu in OwO them. 
LUCIO. uWu Fwiaw, xDD thou knowest nyot x3 the >w< Duke UwU so weww >_< as UwU I do; uWu he's :3 a 
xDD bettew :3 woodman than xDD thou :33 tak'st ^.^ him ;;w;; fow. 
x3 DUKE. xDD Weww, you'ww answew ÚwÚ this one x3 day. >w< Fawe OwO ye well. 
LUCIO. Nyay, >_< tawwy; I'll OwO go :3 awong with ÚwÚ thee; UwU I ^.^ can tell uWu thee OwO pwetty 
;;w;; tawes of x3 the uWu Duke. 
x3 DUKE. >_> You uWu have told ;;w;; me ^w^ too UwU many of ^.^ him already, ^w^ siw, >_> if ;;w;; they be 
true; >_> if nyot ^-^ twue, >_< nyonye :3 wewe enyough. 
LUCIO. UwU I UwU was >_> once >w< befowe ^.^ him fow UwU getting :3 a OwO wench with :33 chiwd. 
x3 DUKE. Did xDD you xDD such :3 a ;;w;; thing? 
LUCIO. Yes, marry, uWu did x3 I; >_> but UwU I UwU was >_> fain to >w< fowsweaw >w< it: ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd 
>_> ewse uWu have mawwied ;;w;; me to x3 the wotten >w< medwaw. 
x3 DUKE. UwU Siw, x3 youw >_< company >_> is fairer than honest. xDD West xDD you well. 
LUCIO. ^-^ By x3 my troth, I'll OwO go with uWu thee to x3 the >_> wanye's OwO end. ;;w;; If ^w^ bawdy 
tawk ^-^ offend UwU you, we'll uWu have xDD vewy xDD wittwe of :3 it. Nyay, >_< fwiaw, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a 
uWu kind of >w< buww; UwU I UwU shaww stick. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
:33 ANGEWO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ANGEWO ÚwÚ and UwU ESCAWUS 

>_< ESCAWUS. Evewy >_> wettew ^.^ he hath ^-^ wwit hath :33 disvouch'd :3 othew. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^w^ In UwU most unyeven ÚwÚ and distracted ^-^ mannyew. ÚwÚ His ;;w;; actions x3 show much 
^.^ wike to xDD madnyess; pray heaven :33 his ^.^ wisdom be nyot tainted! xDD And >w< why 
:3 meet ^.^ him uWu at x3 the ^.^ gates, ÚwÚ and :33 wedewivew UwU ouw authorities OwO thewe? 
>_< ESCAWUS. UwU I guess not. 
OwO ANGEWO. xDD And >w< why >_> shouwd ^.^ we :3 pwocwaim >w< it uWu in >w< an >_> houw >w< befowe :33 his 
^w^ ent'wing :3 that, >_> if xDD any ^w^ cwave xDD wedwess of ^w^ injustice, ;;w;; they >_> shouwd 
exhibit uWu theiw ^-^ petitions uWu in x3 the uWu stweet? 
>_< ESCAWUS. >w< He >_< shows :33 his reason fow :33 that: to uWu have :3 a dispatch of 
;;w;; compwaints; ÚwÚ and to ÚwÚ dewivew >_> us from devices heweaftew, which 
UwU shaww xDD then uWu have nyo powew to stand OwO against >_> us. 
OwO ANGEWO. xDD Weww, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, wet >w< it be UwU pwocwaim'd; 
Betimes :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; mown I'll caww xDD you uWu at x3 youw ^.^ house; 
Give ÚwÚ nyotice to xDD such ;;w;; men of ;;w;; sowt ÚwÚ and >_> suit 
;;w;; As OwO awe to :3 meet ^.^ him. 
>_< ESCAWUS. UwU I UwU shaww, siw; ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^-^ Good OwO nyight. uWu Exit UwU ESCAWUS 
This ^.^ deed ^.^ unshapes ;;w;; me UwU quite, x3 makes ;;w;; me unpregnant 
xDD And dull to aww OwO pwoceedings. ^-^ A >w< defwow'wed x3 maid! 
xDD And ^.^ by >w< an eminyent >w< body :3 that enforc'd 
uWu The law OwO against :3 it! OwO But :3 that her xDD tendew ^-^ shame 
Will nyot :3 pwocwaim OwO against her >_< maiden woss, 
How ^w^ might ^.^ she >_> tongue me! ÚwÚ Yet reason x3 dawes her ^.^ nyo; 
For x3 my ÚwÚ authowity bears :3 a UwU so cwedent >_< buwk 
:33 That nyo xDD pawticuwaw OwO scandaw >_> once ^.^ can :33 touch 
OwO But >w< it ;;w;; confounds x3 the :3 bweathew. >w< He >_> shouwd uWu have liv'd, 
:3 Save :3 that :33 his riotous youth, with uWu dangewous sense, 
^.^ Might uWu in x3 the times to come uWu have >_> ta'en UwU wevenge, 
^-^ By UwU so ^w^ weceiving :3 a UwU dishonyouw'd >w< wife 
With wansom of xDD such ;;w;; shame. Wouwd yet ^.^ he xDD had >w< wiv'd! 
xDD Awack, when >_> once UwU ouw xDD gwace ^.^ we uWu have >w< fowgot, 
Nyothing xDD goes right; ^.^ we :3 wouwd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd not. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE V. 
uWu Fiewds ^-^ without x3 the :33 town 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE uWu in :33 his UwU own habit, ÚwÚ and uWu Fwiaw ;;w;; PETEW 

x3 DUKE. ;;w;; These x3 wettews uWu at ;;w;; fit time ÚwÚ dewivew x3 me. >_> [Giving uWu wettews] 
uWu The Provost xDD knyows UwU ouw OwO puwpose ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ;;w;; pwot. 
uWu The ;;w;; mattew ^.^ being afoot, >_< keep x3 youw :33 instwuction 
xDD And howd xDD you OwO evew to UwU ouw >_> speciaw ^w^ dwift; 
;;w;; Though x3 sometimes xDD you UwU do UwU bwench from ÚwÚ this to :3 that 
;;w;; As cause xDD doth minister. ^w^ Go, caww uWu at Flavius' house, 
xDD And tell ^.^ him :3 whewe UwU I >_< stay; UwU give x3 the ^.^ wike ÚwÚ nyotice 
;;w;; To >w< Vawentinyus, ;;w;; Wowwand, ÚwÚ and to Cwassus, 
xDD And bid them ;;w;; bwing x3 the trumpets to x3 the >_> gate; 
OwO But >_> send ;;w;; me Flavius fiwst. 
^w^ PETEW. ^.^ It UwU shaww be speeded well. uWu Exit UwU FWIAW 

Entew :33 VAWWIUS 

x3 DUKE. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ Vawwius; xDD thou x3 hast UwU made ÚwÚ good ^.^ haste. 
^.^ Come, ^.^ we xDD wiww ^.^ wawk. >_> Thewe's othew of UwU ouw ^w^ fwiends 
Will x3 gweet >_> us OwO hewe x3 anyon. OwO My ^-^ gentwe Vawwius! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
^-^ A :3 stweet nyeaw x3 the UwU city uWu gate 

Entew >_> ISABEWWA ÚwÚ and :33 MAWIANyA 

>w< ISABEWWA. ;;w;; To speak UwU so indirectly UwU I ^w^ am woath; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> say x3 the truth; >_> but to ;;w;; accuse ^.^ him >_> so, 
:33 That >_> is x3 youw part. ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^w^ am :33 advis'd to UwU do uWu it; 
>w< He says, to veiw full puwpose. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. ^w^ Be wuw'd ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
>w< ISABEWWA. :33 Besides, ^.^ he uWu tewws ;;w;; me :3 that, >_> if pewadventuwe 
>w< He speak OwO against ;;w;; me on x3 the advewse side, 
UwU I >_> shouwd nyot think >w< it :3 stwange; fow UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; physic 
>w< That's UwU bittew to x3 sweet OwO end. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu Fwiaw Peter- 

Entew UwU FWIAW ;;w;; PETEW 

>w< ISABEWWA. >_< O, peace! x3 the >w< fwiaw >_> is x3 come. 
^w^ PETEW. ^.^ Come, UwU I uWu have >_> found xDD you x3 out :3 a stand UwU most >w< fit, 
Whewe xDD you OwO may uWu have xDD such ;;w;; vantage on x3 the >w< Duke 
>w< He UwU shaww nyot pass OwO you. xDD Twice uWu have x3 the trumpets :3 sounded; 
uWu The OwO genyewous ÚwÚ and gravest :3 citizens 
:3 Have uWu hent x3 the ^.^ gates, ÚwÚ and xDD vewy nyeaw ;;w;; upon 
uWu The >w< Duke >_> is OwO ent'wing; OwO thewefowe, hence, xDD away. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The UwU city uWu gate 

Entew uWu at sevewaw x3 doows ^w^ DUKE, >w< VAWWIUS, ÚwÚ WOWDS; ^w^ ANGEWO, :3 ESCAWUS, uWu Wucio, 
:33 PWOVOST, ^w^ OFFICEWS, ÚwÚ and uWu CITIZENS 

x3 DUKE. OwO My xDD vewy ÚwÚ wowthy OwO cousin, ^.^ faiwwy OwO met! 
Our ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and faithfuw fwiend, ^.^ we OwO awe uWu gwad to >_> see OwO you. 
^w^ ANGEWO, >_< ESCAWUS. Happy ^-^ wetuwn be to x3 youw royal Grace! 
x3 DUKE. xDD Many ÚwÚ and x3 heawty ^-^ thankings to xDD you xDD both. 
We uWu have UwU made inquiwy of UwU you, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we hear 
>w< Such xDD goodnyess of x3 youw justice :3 that UwU ouw :3 souw 
UwU Cannyot >_> but yield xDD you fowth to public thanks, 
>_> Fowewunnying ^.^ mowe ^w^ wequitaw. 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> You >_< make x3 my xDD bonds still ;;w;; gweatew. 
x3 DUKE. >_< O, x3 youw desewt xDD speaks :3 woud; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> shouwd wrong >w< it 
;;w;; To OwO wock >w< it uWu in x3 the wards of UwU cuvwt x3 bosom, 
x3 When >w< it ^-^ desewves, with uWu chawactews of bwass, 
^-^ A forted residence uWu 'gainst x3 the ^.^ tooth of time 
xDD And ;;w;; wazuwe of x3 obwivion. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. 
xDD And wet x3 the x3 subject see, to >_< make them ^.^ knyow 
:33 That :33 outwawd couwtesies ^.^ wouwd >_> fain :3 pwocwaim 
Favours :3 that >_< keep x3 within. ^.^ Come, >_> Escawus, 
>_> You ^w^ must UwU wawk ^.^ by >_> us on UwU ouw othew uWu hand, 
xDD And ÚwÚ good suppowtews OwO awe OwO you. 

Entew UwU FWIAW ;;w;; PETEW ÚwÚ and >_> ISABEWWA 

^w^ PETEW. Now >_> is x3 youw time; speak woud, ÚwÚ and ^w^ knyeew >w< befowe ^.^ him. 
>w< ISABEWWA. x3 Justice, x3 O royal >w< Duke! ^.^ Vaiw x3 youw regard 
>_> Upon :3 a :33 wwong'd- UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu have uWu said :3 a x3 maid! 
x3 O ÚwÚ wowthy >_< Pwince, x3 dishonyouw nyot x3 youw ^w^ eye 
^-^ By thwowing >w< it on xDD any othew :33 object 
Tiww xDD you uWu have heard ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my true ^-^ compwaint, 
xDD And UwU given ;;w;; me justice, justice, justice, justice. 
x3 DUKE. x3 Wewate x3 youw x3 wwongs. ^w^ In UwU what? ^-^ By >w< whom? ^w^ Be bwief. 
:3 Hewe >_> is Lord :3 Angewo UwU shaww UwU give xDD you justice; 
^-^ Weveaw >_> youwsewf to ^.^ him. 
>w< ISABEWWA. x3 O ÚwÚ wowthy ;;w;; Duke, 
>_> You bid ;;w;; me >_> seek wedemption of x3 the devil! 
>w< Heaw ;;w;; me :33 youwsewf; fow :3 that which UwU I ^w^ must speak 
:3 Must xDD eithew punyish uWu me, nyot ^.^ being uWu bewiev'd, 
:33 Ow wring xDD wedwess from OwO you. >w< Heaw uWu me, >_< O, hear uWu me, here! 
OwO ANGEWO. OwO My uWu wowd, her UwU wits, UwU I feaw uWu me, OwO awe nyot ;;w;; fiwm; 
:33 She hath :33 been :3 a suitor to ;;w;; me fow her brother, 
Cut x3 off ^.^ by course of justice- 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^-^ By course of ^.^ justice! 
OwO ANGEWO. xDD And ^.^ she xDD wiww speak UwU most bittewwy ÚwÚ and x3 stwange. 
>w< ISABEWWA. :3 Most >_> stwange, >_> but yet UwU most OwO twuwy, xDD wiww UwU I >_< speak. 
:33 That >w< Angewo's forsworn, >_> is >w< it nyot >w< stwange? 
:33 That >w< Angewo's :3 a muwdewew, :3 is't nyot >w< stwange? 
:33 That :3 Angewo >_> is >w< an aduwtewous :33 thief, 
^-^ An ^-^ hypocwite, :3 a viwgin-viowatow, 
Is >w< it nyot ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ and >w< stwange? 
x3 DUKE. Nyay, >w< it >_> is ;;w;; ten times x3 stwange. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^.^ It >_> is nyot twuew ^.^ he >_> is :3 Angewo 
Than ÚwÚ this >_> is aww >_< as true >_< as >w< it >_> is :3 stwange; 
Nyay, >w< it >_> is ;;w;; ten times true; fow uWu twuth >_> is uWu twuth 
;;w;; To x3 th' >w< end of x3 weck'nying. 
x3 DUKE. UwU Away with her. OwO Poow x3 souw, 
:33 She xDD speaks ÚwÚ this uWu in x3 th' infirmity of ÚwÚ sense. 
>w< ISABEWWA. x3 O >w< Pwince! UwU I x3 conjuwe ÚwÚ thee, >_< as xDD thou ÚwÚ bewiev'st 
>_> Thewe >_> is anyothew uWu comfowt than ÚwÚ this ^w^ wowwd, 
:33 That xDD thou >_> nyegwect ;;w;; me nyot with :3 that opinyion 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am touch'd with >w< madnyess. ^-^ Make nyot xDD impossibwe 
:33 That which >_> but ;;w;; seems ^-^ unwike: UwU 'tis nyot xDD impossibwe 
OwO But one, x3 the wicked'st ^.^ caitiff on x3 the ground, 
^-^ May xDD seem >_< as uWu shy, >_< as ^-^ gwave, >_< as >_< just, >_< as OwO absowute, 
;;w;; As Angewo; even UwU so OwO may ^w^ Angewo, 
^w^ In aww :33 his dressings, chawacts, >_> titwes, x3 fowms, 
^w^ Be >w< an awch-viwwain. :3 Bewieve :33 it, royal >_< Pwince, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he be UwU wess, uWu he's uWu nyothing; >_> but uWu he's >_> mowe, 
xDD Had UwU I ^.^ mowe xDD nyame fow badnyess. 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ By >_< minye :3 honyesty, 
;;w;; If ^.^ she be mad, >_< as UwU I ^-^ bewieve nyo ÚwÚ othew, 
:3 Hew ^-^ madnyess hath x3 the oddest fwame of sense, 
>w< Such :3 a dependency of ^.^ thing on ÚwÚ thing, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; e'ew UwU I heard uWu in >w< madnyess. 
>w< ISABEWWA. x3 O >_> gwacious ;;w;; Duke, 
Hawp nyot on :33 that; nor UwU do nyot banyish reason 
For :3 inyequawity; >_> but wet x3 youw reason serve 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the uWu twuth appeaw :3 whewe >w< it ;;w;; seems :3 hid, 
xDD And hide x3 the UwU fawse ;;w;; seems true. 
x3 DUKE. xDD Many :3 that OwO awe nyot ^-^ mad 
xDD Have, x3 suwe, ^.^ mowe ^.^ wack of reason. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^.^ say? 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I ^w^ am x3 the :3 sistew of one Claudio, 
Condemn'd ;;w;; upon x3 the ;;w;; act of fornication 
;;w;; To wose :33 his head; condemn'd ^.^ by Angewo. 
I, uWu in probation of :3 a >_> sistewhood, 
Was sent to ^.^ by x3 my bwothew; one Lucio 
;;w;; As xDD then x3 the messengew- 
LUCIO. >w< That's I, UwU an't ^.^ wike x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
UwU I ^-^ came to her from Claudio, ÚwÚ and desir'd her 
;;w;; To >_> twy her >_> gwacious :3 fowtunye with Lord :3 Angewo 
For her poor brother's pardon. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >w< That's xDD he, indeed. 
x3 DUKE. >_> You :3 wewe nyot bid to >_< speak. 
LUCIO. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; 
x3 Nyow >w< wish'd to howd x3 my peace. 
x3 DUKE. UwU I ÚwÚ wish xDD you now, :33 then; 
>_> Pway xDD you OwO take ^-^ nyote of uWu it; ÚwÚ and when xDD you uWu have 
^-^ A business fow yourself, pray heaven xDD you xDD then 
^w^ Be perfect. 
LUCIO. UwU I :33 wawwant x3 youw honyouw. 
x3 DUKE. uWu The wawwant's fow :33 youwsewf; OwO take :3 heed to't. 
>w< ISABEWWA. This ÚwÚ gentweman told >_< somewhat of x3 my ^-^ tawe. 
LUCIO. :33 Wight. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ It OwO may be right; >_> but xDD you OwO awe :33 i' x3 the wrong 
;;w;; To speak >w< befowe x3 youw uWu time. ;;w;; Pwoceed. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I OwO went 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this pewnyicious ^.^ caitiff xDD deputy. 
x3 DUKE. >w< That's >_< somewhat madly >_> spoken. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^w^ Pawdon uWu it; 
uWu The phrase >_> is to x3 the :3 mattew. 
x3 DUKE. >_< Mended ;;w;; again. uWu The matter- ^-^ pwoceed. 
>w< ISABEWWA. ^w^ In brief- to uWu set x3 the >_> nyeedwess xDD pwocess UwU by, 
How UwU I >_> pewsuaded, >w< how UwU I ^.^ pway'd, ÚwÚ and kneel'd, 
How ^.^ he UwU wefeww'd uWu me, ÚwÚ and >w< how UwU I uWu wepwied, 
For ÚwÚ this UwU was of much :33 wength- x3 the ^-^ viwe OwO concwusion 
UwU I nyow x3 begin with grief ÚwÚ and ^-^ shame to uttew: 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, >_> but ^.^ by ^w^ gift of x3 my >w< chaste >w< body 
;;w;; To :33 his concupiscible ^-^ intempewate x3 wust, 
:33 Wewease x3 my bwothew; x3 and, ÚwÚ aftew much ;;w;; debatement, 
OwO My sistewwy ^-^ wemowse ;;w;; confutes >_< minye honyouw, 
xDD And UwU I uWu did yield to ^.^ him. OwO But x3 the :3 nyext ;;w;; mown betimes, 
ÚwÚ His OwO puwpose ^-^ suwfeiting, ^.^ he OwO sends :3 a :33 wawwant 
For x3 my poor brother's >_> head. 
x3 DUKE. This >_> is UwU most ;;w;; wikewy! 
>w< ISABEWWA. x3 O :3 that >w< it :3 wewe >_< as ^.^ wike >_< as >w< it >_> is ^-^ twue! 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, fond :3 wwetch, xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st nyot >_> what xDD thou >w< speak'st, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse xDD thou awt >_< subown'd OwO against :33 his honour 
^w^ In hateful ^.^ pwactice. ^.^ Fiwst, :33 his >_< integwity 
Stands ^-^ without >_< bwemish; next, >w< it imports nyo reason 
:33 That with xDD such vehemency ^.^ he >_> shouwd pursue 
:33 Fauwts OwO pwopew to himself. ;;w;; If ^.^ he xDD had UwU so ^.^ offended, 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd uWu have x3 weigh'd >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ by himsewf, 
xDD And nyot uWu have :3 cut ^.^ him off. ;;w;; Some one hath uWu set xDD you xDD on; 
^w^ Confess x3 the truth, ÚwÚ and >_> say ^.^ by x3 whose advice 
^.^ Thou xDD cam'st OwO hewe to OwO compwain. 
>w< ISABEWWA. xDD And >_> is ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ aww? 
Then, x3 O xDD you blessed ministers xDD abuv, 
^w^ Keep ;;w;; me uWu in >_> patience; x3 and, with >w< wipenyed time, 
Unfold x3 the eviw which >_> is OwO hewe wrapt x3 up 
^w^ In :3 countenyance! uWu Heaven OwO shiewd x3 youw Gwace from woe, 
;;w;; As I, OwO thus wrong'd, >w< hence unbewieved :3 go! 
x3 DUKE. UwU I ^.^ knyow you'd >_> fain be ;;w;; gonye. ^-^ An officew! 
;;w;; To :3 pwison with >_> hew! Shall ^.^ we OwO thus >_< pewmit 
^-^ A ÚwÚ bwasting ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 scandawous UwU bweath to faww 
On ^.^ him UwU so nyeaw us? This >_< nyeeds ^w^ must be :3 a ^.^ pwactice. 
Who UwU knyew of x3 youw :3 intent ÚwÚ and xDD coming uWu hithew? 
>w< ISABEWWA. x3 Onye :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 wewe UwU hewe, uWu Fwiaw Wodowick. 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ A ghostly ÚwÚ fathew, belike. Who xDD knyows :3 that ;;w;; Wodowick? 
LUCIO. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ knyow him; UwU 'tis :3 a meddling fwiaw. 
UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike x3 the xDD man; xDD had ^.^ he :33 been lay, x3 my uWu wowd, 
For xDD cewtain wowds ^.^ he x3 spake OwO against x3 youw Gwace 
^w^ In x3 youw :3 wetiwement, UwU I xDD had >_> swing'd ^.^ him soundly. 
x3 DUKE. Words OwO against me? ÚwÚ This's :3 a ÚwÚ good >_< fwiaw, bewike! 
xDD And to uWu set on ÚwÚ this wwetched OwO woman OwO hewe 
^w^ Against UwU ouw ^-^ substitute! Let ÚwÚ this >w< fwiaw be uWu found. 
LUCIO. OwO But yestewnyight, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ she ÚwÚ and :3 that >_< fwiaw, 
UwU I saw them uWu at x3 the prison; :3 a ^w^ saucy >_< fwiaw, 
^-^ A xDD vewy ^.^ scuwvy UwU fewwow. 
^w^ PETEW. Bwessed be x3 youw royal Grace! 
UwU I uWu have :33 stood UwU by, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have heard 
uWu Youw royal ear x3 abus'd. ^.^ Fiwst, hath ÚwÚ this OwO woman 
:3 Most UwU wwongfuwwy ^-^ accus'd x3 youw uWu substitute; 
Who >_> is >_< as fwee from :33 touch ow UwU soiw with her 
;;w;; As ^.^ she from one UwU ungot. 
x3 DUKE. We uWu did ^-^ bewieve nyo :3 wess. 
xDD Knyow xDD you :3 that uWu Fwiaw Lodowick :3 that ^.^ she xDD speaks UwU of? 
^w^ PETEW. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him fow :3 a x3 man divine ÚwÚ and howy; 
ÚwÚ Nyot scuwvy, nor :3 a tempowawy meddler, 
;;w;; As uWu he's OwO wepowted ^.^ by ÚwÚ this gentleman; 
^.^ And, on x3 my ^w^ twust, :3 a x3 man :3 that >_< nyevew yet 
^w^ Did, >_< as ^.^ he OwO vouches, OwO miswepowt x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
LUCIO. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU most viwwainyouswy; ^-^ bewieve :3 it. 
^w^ PETEW. xDD Weww, ^.^ he uWu in time OwO may come to ^-^ cweaw :33 himsewf; 
OwO But uWu at ÚwÚ this x3 instant ^.^ he >_> is :33 sick, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Of :3 a ;;w;; stwange fever. >_> Upon :33 his mere UwU wequest- 
uWu Being come to >_< knyowwedge :3 that there UwU was ^w^ compwaint 
ÚwÚ Intended uWu 'gainst Lord ^-^ Angewo- ^-^ came UwU I ÚwÚ hithew 
;;w;; To :3 speak, >_< as from :33 his uWu mouth, >_> what ^.^ he xDD doth ^.^ knyow 
Is true ÚwÚ and x3 fawse; ÚwÚ and >_> what xDD he, with :33 his ^-^ oath 
xDD And aww pwobation, xDD wiww >_< make x3 up full cweaw, 
xDD Whensoevew uWu he's :33 convented. ^.^ Fiwst, fow ÚwÚ this ^-^ woman- 
;;w;; To justify ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wowthy :33 nyobweman, 
^w^ So vulgarly ÚwÚ and OwO pewsonyawwy OwO accus'd- 
:3 Hew UwU shaww xDD you hear ^.^ dispwuvd to her ^w^ eyes, 
Tiww ^.^ she herself x3 confess :3 it. 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ Good >_< fwiaw, >_> wet's hear :3 it. uWu Exit >_> ISABEWWA guawded 
Do xDD you nyot ;;w;; smiwe uWu at uWu this, Lord x3 Angewo? 
x3 O ^.^ heaven, x3 the vanyity of wwetched uWu foows! 
Give >_> us x3 some seats. ^.^ Come, xDD cousin Angewo; 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this I'll be ^-^ impawtiaw; be xDD you OwO judge 
Of x3 youw UwU own OwO cause. 

Entew :33 MAWIANyA >w< veiwed 

Is ÚwÚ this x3 the ^.^ witnyess, friar? 
uWu FIWST wet her x3 show her >w< face, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ aftew >_< speak. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. Pawdon, x3 my wowd; UwU I xDD wiww nyot x3 show x3 my OwO face 
Untiw x3 my :33 husband bid x3 me. 
x3 DUKE. What, OwO awe xDD you uWu mawwied? 
^.^ MAWIANyA. :3 Nyo, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Awe xDD you :3 a maid? 
^.^ MAWIANyA. :3 Nyo, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ A uWu widow, ^w^ then? 
^.^ MAWIANyA. :33 Nyeithew, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. Why, xDD you OwO awe >_< nyothing :33 then; :3 nyeithew ;;w;; maid, uWu widow, nor x3 wife. 
LUCIO. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ she OwO may be :3 a punk; fow UwU many of them OwO awe :3 nyeithew 
;;w;; maid, uWu widow, nor x3 wife. 
x3 DUKE. Siwence :3 that UwU fewwow. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he xDD had x3 some cause 
;;w;; To ^w^ pwattwe fow himself. 
LUCIO. xDD Weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I UwU do x3 confess UwU I ^w^ nye'ew UwU was >w< mawwied, 
xDD And UwU I >_> confess, >_< besides, UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^-^ maid. 
UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ knyown x3 my xDD husband; yet x3 my :33 husband 
xDD Knyows nyot :3 that OwO evew ^.^ he UwU knyew x3 me. 
LUCIO. >w< He UwU was dwunk, >w< then, x3 my wowd; >w< it ^.^ can be nyo ^-^ bettew. 
x3 DUKE. For x3 the ^-^ benyefit of siwence, ^.^ wouwd xDD thou OwO wewt UwU so ;;w;; too! 
LUCIO. xDD Weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. This >_> is nyo >_> witnyess fow Lord Angewo. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. Now UwU I come >_> to't, x3 my wowd: 
:33 She :3 that :33 accuses ^.^ him of fownyication, 
^w^ In sewf-same ^w^ mannyew xDD doth ;;w;; accuse x3 my xDD husband; 
xDD And chawges :3 him, x3 my uWu wowd, with xDD such :3 a time 
x3 When I'll depose UwU I xDD had ^.^ him uWu in >_< minye awms, 
With aww x3 th' ^w^ effect of love. 
OwO ANGEWO. Charges ^.^ she ^-^ moe than me? 
^.^ MAWIANyA. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that UwU I :33 knyow. 
x3 DUKE. uWu Nyo? >_> You >_> say x3 youw husband. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. Why, >_< just, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> is ^w^ Angewo, 
Who ^w^ thinks ^.^ he xDD knyows :3 that ^.^ he ^w^ nye'ew UwU knyew x3 my ;;w;; body, 
OwO But xDD knyows ^.^ he ^w^ thinks :3 that ^.^ he xDD knyows Isabew's. 
OwO ANGEWO. This >_> is :3 a ;;w;; stwange ^-^ abuse. :3 Wet's >_> see >w< thy ;;w;; face. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. OwO My :33 husband UwU bids OwO me; nyow UwU I xDD wiww unmask. 
>w< [Unveiwing] 
This >_> is :3 that >w< face, xDD thou UwU cwuew ^w^ Angewo, 
>_< Which >_> once xDD thou >_> swow'st UwU was ^.^ wowth x3 the ^w^ wooking xDD on; 
This >_> is x3 the uWu hand ^w^ which, with :3 a ^.^ vow'd contract, 
Was ÚwÚ fast ÚwÚ bewock'd uWu in thine; ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the >w< body 
:33 That >_> took OwO away x3 the >_< match from Isabel, 
xDD And uWu did suppwy uWu thee uWu at >w< thy ÚwÚ gawden-house 
^w^ In her xDD imagin'd person. 
x3 DUKE. xDD Knyow xDD you ÚwÚ this x3 woman? 
LUCIO. xDD Cawnyawwy, ^.^ she says. 
x3 DUKE. Siwwah, nyo more. 
LUCIO. ;;w;; Enyough, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO ANGEWO. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^w^ must x3 confess UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this >_< woman; 
xDD And five years xDD since there UwU was x3 some ÚwÚ speech of ^.^ mawwiage 
Betwixt mysewf ÚwÚ and >w< hew; which UwU was broke ^w^ off, 
>_> Pawtwy fow :3 that her promised proportions 
>_< Came showt of >w< composition; >_> but uWu in uWu chief 
For :3 that her >_< weputation UwU was OwO disvawued 
^w^ In levity. Since which time of five years 
UwU I >_< nyevew x3 spake with hew, saw hew, nor heard from hew, 
>_> Upon x3 my :33 faith ÚwÚ and honyouw. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. Noble >_< Pwince, 
;;w;; As there x3 comes >w< wight from heaven ÚwÚ and wowds from :33 bweath, 
;;w;; As there >_> is sense uWu in uWu twuth ÚwÚ and uWu twuth uWu in virtue, 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU affianc'd ÚwÚ this :33 man's >w< wife >_< as >_< stwongwy 
;;w;; As wowds couwd >_< make x3 up vows. ^.^ And, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
OwO But Tuesday >w< nyight >w< wast >w< gonye, in's gawden-house, 
>w< He UwU knyew ;;w;; me >_< as :3 a x3 wife. ;;w;; As ÚwÚ this >_> is ^-^ twue, 
Let ;;w;; me uWu in :33 safety >w< waise ;;w;; me from x3 my uWu knyees, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse fow OwO evew be confixed UwU hewe, 
^-^ A OwO mawbwe xDD monyument! 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I uWu did >_> but ;;w;; smiwe >w< tiww now. 
>_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 the ;;w;; scope of justice; 
OwO My uWu patience OwO hewe >_> is ^.^ touch'd. UwU I UwU do >_> pewceive 
;;w;; These poor infowmaw x3 women OwO awe nyo ^.^ mowe 
OwO But instwuments of x3 some ^.^ mowe OwO mightiew member 
:33 That :33 sets them :3 on. Let ;;w;; me uWu have :3 way, x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; To find ÚwÚ this pwactice OwO out. 
x3 DUKE. Ay, with x3 my heawt; 
xDD And punyish them to x3 youw height of pleasure. 
^.^ Thou >_< foowish >_< fwiaw, ÚwÚ and xDD thou pewnyicious ^w^ woman, 
uWu Compact with her ^w^ that's >w< gonye, think'st xDD thou >w< thy oaths, 
;;w;; Though ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd >_< sweaw down >_< each xDD pawticuwaw UwU saint, 
^.^ Wewe >_< testimonyies OwO against :33 his ^.^ wowth ÚwÚ and ^.^ cwedit, 
>w< That's OwO seaw'd uWu in appwobation? >_< You, Lord >_> Escawus, 
xDD Sit with x3 my :3 cousin; xDD wend ^.^ him x3 youw uWu kind ^w^ pains 
;;w;; To find x3 out ÚwÚ this ^.^ abuse, >_> whence UwU 'tis xDD dewiv'd. 
>_> Thewe >_> is anyothew >w< fwiaw :3 that uWu set them xDD on; 
Let ^.^ him be sent ;;w;; fow. 
^w^ PETEW. Wouwd >_< wie :3 wewe UwU hewe, x3 my ^.^ wowd! For ^.^ he ÚwÚ indeed 
>_< Hath uWu set x3 the x3 women on to ÚwÚ this compwaint. 
uWu Youw :33 pwovost xDD knyows x3 the :33 pwace :3 whewe ^.^ he ÚwÚ abides, 
xDD And ^.^ he OwO may :3 fetch ^.^ him. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Go, UwU do >w< it ^.^ instantwy. uWu Exit PWOVOST 
xDD And UwU you, x3 my x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and x3 weww-wawwanted OwO cousin, 
;;w;; Whom >w< it uWu concewns to hear ÚwÚ this ;;w;; mattew ^-^ fowth, 
Do with x3 youw x3 injuwies >_< as ;;w;; seems xDD you best 
^w^ In xDD any >w< chastisement. UwU I fow :3 a OwO whiwe xDD wiww OwO weave uWu you; 
OwO But stir nyot xDD you >w< tiww xDD you uWu have weww ;;w;; detewmin'd 
>_> Upon these slanderers. 
>_< ESCAWUS. OwO My uWu wowd, we'll UwU do >w< it OwO thwoughwy. uWu Exit ÚwÚ DUKE 
:33 Signyiow uWu Wucio, uWu did nyot xDD you >_> say xDD you UwU knyew :3 that uWu Fwiaw Lodowick to be 
:3 a ;;w;; dishonyest ^.^ pewson? 
LUCIO. :3 'Cucuwwus uWu nyon OwO facit monachum': xDD honyest uWu in >_< nyothing >_> but uWu in :33 his 
clothes; ÚwÚ and one :3 that hath ^-^ spoke UwU most ÚwÚ viwwainyous uWu speeches of x3 the 
uWu Duke. 
>_< ESCAWUS. We UwU shaww entweat xDD you to abide OwO hewe >w< tiww ^.^ he come ÚwÚ and 
enforce them OwO against ^.^ him. We UwU shaww find ÚwÚ this >w< fwiaw :3 a OwO nyotabwe 
UwU fewwow. 
LUCIO. ;;w;; As xDD any uWu in ^.^ Viennya, on x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ;;w;; Caww :3 that same Isabel OwO hewe >_> once again; UwU I ^.^ wouwd speak with 
her. ;;w;; [Exit >w< an ^-^ ATTENDANT] >_> Pway UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to 
OwO question; xDD you UwU shaww >_> see >w< how I'll handle her. 
LUCIO. ÚwÚ Nyot xDD bettew than xDD he, ^.^ by her UwU own report. 
>_< ESCAWUS. x3 Say you? 
LUCIO. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I >_< think, >_> if xDD you handled her pwivatewy, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd 
:33 soonyew OwO confess; ÚwÚ pewchance, pubwicwy, ^.^ she'ww be asham'd. 

^.^ We-entew OFFICEWS with >_< ISABEWWA; ÚwÚ and PWOVOST with x3 the 
ÚwÚ DUKE uWu in :33 his >_< fwiaw's OwO habit 

>_< ESCAWUS. UwU I xDD wiww OwO go >_< dawkwy to ^.^ wowk with her. 
LUCIO. >w< That's x3 the way; fow x3 women OwO awe >w< wight uWu at midnight. 
>_< ESCAWUS. :3 Come ;;w;; on, mistress; hewe's :3 a :33 gentwewoman denyies aww :3 that 
xDD you uWu have UwU said. 
LUCIO. OwO My uWu wowd, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the wascaw UwU I ^-^ spoke :33 of, OwO hewe with x3 the 
:33 Pwovost. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^w^ In xDD vewy ÚwÚ good uWu time. ^w^ Speak nyot xDD you to ^.^ him >w< tiww ^.^ we caww ;;w;; upon 
OwO you. 
LUCIO. uWu Mum. 
>_< ESCAWUS. ^.^ Come, siw; uWu did xDD you uWu set these x3 women on to ^-^ swandew Lord 
x3 Angewo? ^-^ They uWu have >_> confess'd xDD you ^.^ did. 
x3 DUKE. 'Tis >w< fawse. 
>_< ESCAWUS. OwO How! xDD Knyow xDD you :3 whewe xDD you are? 
x3 DUKE. :33 Wespect to x3 youw great ÚwÚ pwace! ÚwÚ and wet x3 the ^.^ deviw 
^w^ Be ÚwÚ sometime :3 honyouw'd fow :33 his ^.^ buwnying >_< thwonye! 
Whewe >_> is x3 the Duke? 'Tis ^.^ he >_> shouwd hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
>_< ESCAWUS. uWu The Duke's uWu in us; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww hear xDD you speak; 
Wook xDD you speak >w< justwy. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Bowdwy, uWu at weast. But, >_< O, poor souws, 
:3 Come xDD you to >_> seek x3 the :3 wamb OwO hewe of x3 the ^w^ fox, 
^-^ Good >w< nyight to x3 youw xDD wedwess! Is x3 the >w< Duke gone? 
UwU Then >_> is x3 youw cause >_> gonye UwU too. uWu The Duke's :33 unjust 
^-^ Thus to xDD wetowt x3 youw UwU manyifest ^.^ appeaw, 
xDD And put x3 youw uWu twiaw uWu in x3 the >_> viwwain's xDD mouth 
>_< Which OwO hewe xDD you come to ;;w;; accuse. 
LUCIO. This >_> is x3 the ^-^ wascaw; ÚwÚ this >_> is ^.^ he UwU I ^-^ spoke uWu of. 
>_< ESCAWUS. Why, xDD thou unreverend ÚwÚ and :33 unhawwowed >_< fwiaw, 
^-^ Is't nyot enough xDD thou x3 hast >_< subown'd these x3 women 
;;w;; To ;;w;; accuse ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ man, but, uWu in fouw uWu mouth, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the >_> witnyess of :33 his OwO pwopew eaw, 
;;w;; To caww ^.^ him villain; ÚwÚ and xDD then to glance from ^.^ him 
;;w;; To x3 th' >w< Duke himsewf, to ÚwÚ tax ^.^ him with :33 injustice? 
^.^ Take ^.^ him OwO hence; to x3 th' ^.^ wack with x3 him! ^-^ We'ww ;;w;; touze xDD you 
Joint ^.^ by xDD joint, >_> but ^.^ we xDD wiww ^.^ knyow :33 his puwpose. 
What, 'unjust'! 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Be nyot UwU so ^.^ hot; x3 the >w< Duke 
Dare nyo ^.^ mowe stretch ÚwÚ this finger of >_< minye than ^.^ he 
Dare ^.^ wack :33 his >_> own; :33 his x3 subject ^w^ am UwU I >_> nyot, 
x3 Nyow OwO hewe provincial. OwO My business uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< state 
Made ;;w;; me :3 a :3 wookew-on OwO hewe uWu in ^.^ Viennya, 
Whewe UwU I uWu have :3 seen ^.^ cowwuption >_> boiw ÚwÚ and bubble 
Tiww >w< it o'errun x3 the stew: UwU waws fow aww fauwts, 
OwO But :33 fauwts UwU so countenanc'd :3 that x3 the >w< stwong x3 statutes 
;;w;; Stand ^.^ wike x3 the >w< fowfeits uWu in :3 a bawbew's uWu shop, 
;;w;; As much uWu in ÚwÚ mock >_< as >w< mawk. 
>_< ESCAWUS. Slander to x3 th' ;;w;; state! UwU Away with ^.^ him to prison! 
OwO ANGEWO. >_> What ^.^ can xDD you ÚwÚ vouch OwO against :3 him, :33 Signyiow ^.^ Wucio? 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 the x3 man :3 that xDD you uWu did tell >_> us UwU of? 
LUCIO. 'Tis xDD he, x3 my OwO wowd. :3 Come hithew, good-man >w< bawd-pate. 
Do xDD you ^.^ knyow me? 
x3 DUKE. UwU I remember UwU you, ^w^ siw, ^.^ by x3 the >_> sound of x3 youw voice. UwU I >w< met xDD you uWu at 
x3 the pwison, uWu in x3 the >w< absence of x3 the uWu Duke. 
LUCIO. x3 O uWu did xDD you so? xDD And UwU do xDD you remember >_> what xDD you uWu said of x3 the Duke? 
x3 DUKE. :3 Most :33 nyotedwy, sir. 
LUCIO. Do xDD you >_> so, UwU siw? xDD And UwU was x3 the >w< Duke :3 a :33 fweshmongew, :3 a x3 foow, ÚwÚ and 
:3 a xDD cowawd, >_< as xDD you xDD then OwO wepowted ^.^ him to :3 be? 
x3 DUKE. >_> You ;;w;; must, ^w^ siw, change persons with ;;w;; me ere xDD you >_< make :3 that x3 my 
>w< wepowt; UwU you, :33 indeed, ^-^ spoke UwU so of him; ÚwÚ and much >_> mowe, much x3 wowse. 
LUCIO. x3 O xDD thou ^w^ damnyabwe xDD fewwow! Did nyot UwU I pluck uWu thee ^.^ by x3 the x3 nyose fow 
>w< thy >_< speeches? 
x3 DUKE. UwU I ^w^ pwotest UwU I wuv x3 the >w< Duke >_< as UwU I wuv :3 mysewf. 
OwO ANGEWO. ^.^ Hawk >w< how x3 the viwwain ^.^ wouwd ^-^ cwose now, ÚwÚ aftew :33 his OwO tweasonyabwe 
abuses! 
>_< ESCAWUS. >w< Such :3 a fewwow >_> is nyot to be ^w^ tawk'd uWu withaw. UwU Away with ^.^ him to 
prison! Whewe >_> is x3 the Provost? UwU Away with ^.^ him to prison! Way bolts 
enough ;;w;; upon him; wet ^.^ him speak nyo more. UwU Away with UwU those :3 gigwets 
:3 too, ÚwÚ and with x3 the othew >_< confedewate companyion! 
;;w;; [The PWOVOST ways ^.^ bands on x3 the uWu DUKE] 
x3 DUKE. Stay, siw; xDD stay OwO awhiwe. 
OwO ANGEWO. What, OwO wesists uWu he? ^-^ Hewp :3 him, Wucio. 
LUCIO. ^.^ Come, siw; come, siw; come, siw; UwU foh, sir! Why, xDD you 
^.^ bawd-pated lying ^.^ wascaw, xDD you ^w^ must be UwU hooded, ^w^ must you? uWu Show x3 youw 
knave's ;;w;; visage, with :3 a uWu pox to you! uWu Show x3 youw :3 sheep-biting >w< face, 
ÚwÚ and be :33 hang'd >w< an houw! Will't nyot off? 
:33 [Puwws x3 off x3 the OwO FWIAW'S >_< bood ÚwÚ and discovers x3 the uWu DUKE] 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Thou awt x3 the xDD fiwst x3 knyave :3 that ;;w;; e'ew ;;w;; mad'st :3 a xDD duke. 
^.^ Fiwst, >w< Pwovost, wet ;;w;; me xDD baiw these ^-^ gentwe thwee. 
:33 [To x3 Wucio] Sneak nyot away, ^w^ siw, fow x3 the >w< fwiaw ÚwÚ and xDD you 
:3 Must uWu have :3 a ;;w;; wowd x3 anyon. Way howd on ^.^ him. 
LUCIO. This OwO may ^-^ pwuv xDD wowse than OwO hanging. 
x3 DUKE. :33 [To :33 ESCAWUS] >_> What xDD you uWu have ^-^ spoke UwU I ;;w;; pawdon; sit xDD you down. 
^-^ We'ww :3 bowwow :33 pwace of ^.^ him. :33 [To ^-^ ANGEWO] UwU Siw, ^.^ by x3 youw >_< weave. 
Hast xDD thou ow word, ow ^w^ wit, ow ;;w;; impudence, 
:33 That yet ^.^ can UwU do uWu thee office? ;;w;; If xDD thou ÚwÚ hast, 
^-^ Wewy ;;w;; upon >w< it >w< tiww x3 my xDD tawe be ^-^ heawd, 
xDD And howd nyo longer OwO out. 
OwO ANGEWO. x3 O x3 my xDD dwead uWu wowd, 
UwU I >_> shouwd be guiltier than x3 my OwO guiwtinyess, 
;;w;; To think UwU I ^.^ can be >_< undiscewnyibwe, 
x3 When UwU I >_> pewceive x3 youw >_> Gwace, ^.^ wike pow'w divine, 
>_< Hath >_> wook'd ;;w;; upon x3 my passes. Then, ÚwÚ good >_< Pwince, 
No longer OwO session howd ;;w;; upon x3 my UwU shame, 
OwO But wet x3 my uWu twiaw be >_< minye UwU own ^.^ confession; 
x3 Immediate :33 sentence >w< then, ÚwÚ and sequent UwU death, 
Is aww x3 the xDD gwace UwU I ;;w;; beg. 
x3 DUKE. :3 Come hithew, :3 Mawianya. 
Say, >w< wast xDD thou ;;w;; e'ew >_< contwacted to ÚwÚ this x3 woman? 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I UwU was, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Go, OwO take her >w< hence ÚwÚ and marry her ^.^ instantwy. 
Do xDD you x3 the office, x3 fwiaw; which uWu consummate, 
Return ^.^ him OwO hewe ;;w;; again. Go with :3 him, :33 Pwovost. 
Exeunt ^w^ ANGEWO, MARIANA, UwU FWIAW >w< PETEW, ÚwÚ and PWOVOST 
>_< ESCAWUS. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ mowe ^w^ amaz'd uWu at :33 his x3 dishonyouw 
Than uWu at x3 the :33 stwangenyess of :3 it. 
x3 DUKE. :3 Come hithew, ÚwÚ Isabew. 
uWu Youw >w< fwiaw >_> is nyow x3 youw pwince. ;;w;; As UwU I UwU was xDD then 
ÚwÚ Advewtising ÚwÚ and >w< howy to x3 youw business, 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 changing >_< heawt with habit, UwU I ^w^ am still 
Attownyey'd uWu at x3 youw service. 
>w< ISABEWWA. >_< O, UwU give ;;w;; me pardon, 
:33 That I, x3 youw ^.^ vassaw uWu have xDD empwoy'd ÚwÚ and :33 pain'd 
uWu Youw unknown suvweignty. 
x3 DUKE. >_> You OwO awe >_> pawdon'd, ÚwÚ Isabew. 
xDD And now, uWu deaw ;;w;; maid, be xDD you >_< as fwee to >_> us. 
uWu Youw brother's UwU death, UwU I knyow, >_> sits uWu at x3 youw heawt; 
xDD And xDD you OwO may :3 mawvew >w< why UwU I ^w^ obscuw'd myself, 
xDD Wabouwing to :3 save :33 his :3 wife, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd nyot rather 
^-^ Make >_< wash wemonstwance of x3 my ^-^ hidden pow'w 
Than wet ^.^ him UwU so be :3 wost. x3 O UwU most uWu kind ;;w;; maid, 
^.^ It UwU was x3 the UwU swift OwO cewewity of :33 his UwU death, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu did think with slower :33 foot ^-^ came ;;w;; on, 
:33 That :33 bwain'd x3 my puwpose. OwO But uWu peace be with x3 him! 
:33 That >w< wife >_> is xDD bettew :3 wife, x3 past feawing UwU death, 
Than :3 that which ;;w;; wives to ;;w;; feaw. ^-^ Make >w< it x3 youw comfort, 
^w^ So ^w^ happy >_> is x3 youw ^-^ bwothew. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU I UwU do, x3 my OwO wowd. 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ ANGEWO, MARIANA, UwU FWIAW >w< PETEW, ÚwÚ and PWOVOST 

x3 DUKE. For ÚwÚ this new-married x3 man approaching UwU hewe, 
>_< Whose ^-^ sawt xDD imaginyation yet hath wrong'd 
uWu Youw xDD weww-defended honyouw, xDD you ^w^ must UwU pawdon 
For Mariana's >_< sake; >_> but >_< as ^.^ he ^w^ adjudg'd x3 youw bwothew- 
uWu Being >_< cwiminyaw uWu in :3 doubwe xDD viowation 
Of uWu sacwed ÚwÚ chastity ÚwÚ and of uWu pwomise-bweach, 
ÚwÚ Theweon UwU dependent, fow x3 youw brother's life- 
uWu The xDD vewy xDD mewcy of x3 the law x3 cwies x3 out 
:3 Most audible, even from :33 his OwO pwopew ;;w;; tongue, 
>_< 'An :3 Angewo fow Claudio, :33 death fow xDD death!' 
Haste still >w< pays xDD haste, ÚwÚ and leisure ^-^ answews leisure; 
Wike xDD doth ^.^ quit :3 wike, ÚwÚ and Measure still fow x3 Measuwe. 
Then, ^w^ Angewo, >w< thy fauwt's OwO thus ^.^ manyifested, 
>_< Which, ^w^ though xDD thou wouldst deny, denyies uWu thee vantage. 
We UwU do >_< condemn uWu thee to x3 the xDD vewy >_< bwock 
Whewe OwO Cwaudio >_> stoop'd to UwU death, ÚwÚ and with ^.^ wike ^.^ haste. 
UwU Away with x3 him! 
^.^ MAWIANyA. x3 O x3 my UwU most >_> gwacious uWu wowd, 
UwU I UwU hope xDD you xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ mock ;;w;; me with :3 a husband. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ It >_> is x3 youw :33 husband mock'd xDD you with :3 a husband. 
Consenting to x3 the safeguard of x3 youw honyouw, 
UwU I xDD thought x3 youw ^.^ mawwiage :33 fit; >_> ewse ^w^ imputation, 
For :3 that ^.^ he UwU knyew UwU you, ^w^ might x3 wepwoach x3 youw :3 wife, 
xDD And >_< choke x3 youw ÚwÚ good to x3 come. For :33 his UwU possessions, 
Awthough ^.^ by >_< confiscation ;;w;; they OwO awe >_> ouws, 
We UwU do ^-^ instate ÚwÚ and ^.^ widow xDD you withal 
;;w;; To UwU buy xDD you :3 a xDD bettew husband. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. x3 O x3 my uWu deaw uWu wowd, 
UwU I ^w^ cwave nyo ÚwÚ othew, nor nyo xDD bettew man. 
x3 DUKE. xDD Nyevew ^w^ cwave him; ^.^ we OwO awe definitive. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. ^w^ Gentwe x3 my ^w^ wiege- UwU [Knyeewing] 
x3 DUKE. >_> You UwU do >_> but wose x3 youw uWu wabouw. 
UwU Away with ^.^ him to ;;w;; death! :33 [To LUCIO] >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, to OwO you. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ good ^.^ wowd! ÚwÚ Sweet Isabel, OwO take x3 my ^w^ pawt; 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu knyees, ÚwÚ and aww x3 my >w< wife to come 
I'll xDD wend xDD you aww x3 my >w< wife to UwU do xDD you service. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Against aww sense xDD you UwU do :33 impowtunye her. 
Should ^.^ she ^w^ knyeew down uWu in xDD mewcy of ÚwÚ this fact, 
:3 Hew brother's xDD ghost :33 his >_> paved x3 bed ^.^ wouwd break, 
xDD And OwO take her >w< hence uWu in ^w^ howwow. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. Isabel, 
ÚwÚ Sweet Isabel, UwU do yet >_> but ^w^ knyeew ^.^ by OwO me; 
:33 Howd x3 up x3 youw ^.^ hands, >_> say uWu nyothing; I'll speak all. 
^-^ They >_> say best ;;w;; men moulded x3 out of fauwts; 
^.^ And, fow x3 the :3 most, :33 become much ^.^ mowe x3 the xDD bettew 
For ^.^ being :3 a xDD wittwe bad; UwU so OwO may x3 my husband. 
x3 O Isabel, xDD wiww xDD you nyot xDD wend :3 a >w< knyee? 
x3 DUKE. >w< He dies fow :33 Cwaudio's death. 
>w< ISABEWWA. UwU [Knyeewing] :3 Most ^.^ bounteous ^w^ siw, 
x3 Wook, >_> if >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, on ÚwÚ this x3 man OwO condemn'd, 
;;w;; As >_> if x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew liv'd. UwU I ;;w;; pawtwy think 
^-^ A >_< due ^w^ sincewity guvwn'd :33 his >_< deeds 
Tiww ^.^ he uWu did wook on OwO me; xDD since >w< it >_> is >_> so, 
Let ^.^ him nyot die. OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew xDD had >_> but justice, 
^w^ In :3 that ^.^ he uWu did x3 the ^.^ thing fow which ^.^ he died; 
For ^w^ Angewo, 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; act uWu did nyot >_> o'ewtake :33 his :33 bad intent, 
xDD And ^w^ must be buried >_> but >_< as >w< an :3 intent 
:33 That pewish'd ^.^ by x3 the >_> way. Thoughts OwO awe nyo UwU subjects; 
Intents >_> but mewewy >w< thoughts. 
^.^ MAWIANyA. Mewewy, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. uWu Youw UwU suit's ^w^ unpwofitabwe; stand up, UwU I :3 say. 
UwU I uWu have uWu bethought ;;w;; me of anyothew ^-^ fauwt. 
>w< Pwovost, >w< how ^-^ came >w< it OwO Cwaudio UwU was xDD beheaded 
At >w< an >_< unyusuaw :3 houw? 
UwU PWOVOST. ^.^ It UwU was :3 commanded :3 so. 
x3 DUKE. xDD Had xDD you :3 a >_> speciaw :33 wawwant fow x3 the deed? 
UwU PWOVOST. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; >w< it UwU was ^.^ by >_> pwivate uWu message. 
x3 DUKE. For which UwU I UwU do ;;w;; dischawge xDD you of x3 youw office; 
Give x3 up x3 youw xDD keys. 
UwU PWOVOST. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, x3 nyobwe wowd; 
UwU I xDD thought >w< it UwU was :3 a ^w^ fauwt, >_> but UwU knyew >w< it x3 nyot; 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu did wepent uWu me, ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ mowe advice; 
For testimony UwU wheweof, one uWu in x3 the pwison, 
:33 That >_> shouwd ^.^ by >_> pwivate order >_> ewse uWu have died, 
UwU I uWu have reserv'd alive. 
x3 DUKE. x3 What's uWu he? 
UwU PWOVOST. ÚwÚ His xDD nyame >_> is >_> Bawnyawdinye. 
x3 DUKE. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou >w< hadst donye UwU so ^.^ by ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Go :3 fetch ^.^ him hithew; wet ;;w;; me wook ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. uWu Exit PWOVOST 
>_< ESCAWUS. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy one UwU so :33 weawnyed ÚwÚ and UwU so uWu wise 
;;w;; As UwU you, Lord ^w^ Angewo, uWu have still appeaw'd, 
Should swip UwU so x3 gwosswy, both uWu in x3 the ^.^ heat of :3 bwood 
xDD And ^.^ wack of tempew'd ^w^ judgment afterward. 
OwO ANGEWO. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy :3 that xDD such sorrow UwU I >w< pwocuwe; 
xDD And UwU so >_> deep >_< sticks >w< it uWu in x3 my penitent >_< heawt 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ cwave :33 death ^.^ mowe ^w^ wiwwingwy than ÚwÚ mewcy; 
'Tis x3 my xDD desewving, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU do entweat :3 it. 

^.^ We-entew :33 PWOVOST, with BAWNyAWDINyE, xDD CWAUDIO :3 (muffwed) 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; JUWIET 

x3 DUKE. >_< Which >_> is :3 that Bawnyawdinye? 
UwU PWOVOST. >w< This, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. >_> Thewe UwU was :3 a >w< fwiaw told ;;w;; me of ÚwÚ this man. 
Siwwah, xDD thou awt uWu said to uWu have :3 a ^-^ stubbown x3 souw, 
:33 That appwehends nyo further than ÚwÚ this ^w^ wowwd, 
xDD And squar'st >w< thy >w< wife x3 accowding. ^w^ Thou'wt uWu condemn'd; 
But, fow UwU those ÚwÚ eawthwy fauwts, UwU I ^.^ quit them all, 
xDD And pray uWu thee OwO take ÚwÚ this xDD mewcy to provide 
For xDD bettew times to x3 come. uWu Fwiaw, ;;w;; advise him; 
UwU I OwO weave ^.^ him to x3 youw >w< hand. >_> What xDD muffw'd fellow's ^-^ that? 
UwU PWOVOST. This >_> is anyothew ÚwÚ pwisonyew :3 that UwU I ^.^ sav'd, 
Who >_> shouwd uWu have >w< died when OwO Cwaudio wost :33 his head; 
;;w;; As ^.^ wike almost to OwO Cwaudio >_< as himself. :33 [Unmuffwes ÚwÚ CWAUDIO] 
x3 DUKE. :33 [To ISABEWWA] ;;w;; If ^.^ he be ^.^ wike x3 youw brother, fow :33 his ÚwÚ sake 
Is ^.^ he >_< pawdon'd; ÚwÚ and fow x3 youw lovely ^w^ sake, 
Give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand ÚwÚ and >_> say xDD you xDD wiww be >_> minye, 
>w< He >_> is x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew UwU too. OwO But fitter time fow x3 that. 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this Lord :3 Angewo ^-^ pewceives uWu he's :33 safe; 
Methinks UwU I >_> see :3 a quick'nying uWu in :33 his :33 eye. 
xDD Weww, ^w^ Angewo, x3 youw eviw quits xDD you well. 
Wook :3 that xDD you wuv x3 youw :33 wife; her ^.^ wowth ^.^ wowth x3 youws. 
UwU I find >w< an ^-^ apt wemission uWu in >_< mysewf; 
xDD And yet hewe's one uWu in :33 pwace UwU I ;;w;; cannyot pardon. 
;;w;; To x3 Wucio] >_< You, sirrah, :3 that UwU knyew ;;w;; me fow :3 a x3 foow, :3 a xDD cowawd, 
x3 Onye aww of ^w^ wuxuwy, >w< an ass, :3 a >_> madman! 
^-^ Whewein uWu have UwU I UwU so OwO desewv'd of xDD you 
:33 That xDD you uWu extow ;;w;; me >_< thus? 
LUCIO. Faith, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I ^-^ spoke >w< it >_> but accowding to x3 the ^.^ twick. 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww ^w^ hang ;;w;; me fow :33 it, xDD you ;;w;; may; >_> but UwU I xDD had rather >w< it ^.^ wouwd 
uWu pwease xDD you UwU I ^w^ might be :3 whipt. 
x3 DUKE. Whipt ÚwÚ fiwst, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and :33 hang'd >w< aftew. 
ÚwÚ Pwocwaim :33 it, >w< Pwovost, ;;w;; wound about x3 the city, 
;;w;; If xDD any OwO woman wrong'd ^.^ by ÚwÚ this x3 wewd UwU fewwow- 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have heard ^.^ him >_< sweaw >_< himsewf there's one 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ he ^.^ begot with child, wet her ^.^ appeaw, 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww marry her. uWu The >w< nyuptiaw x3 finyish'd, 
Let ^.^ him be x3 whipt ÚwÚ and xDD hang'd. 
LUCIO. UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw >w< Highnyess, UwU do nyot marry ;;w;; me to :3 a ^-^ whowe. uWu Youw 
>_> Highnyess uWu said even nyow UwU I UwU made xDD you :3 a duke; ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, UwU do nyot 
recompense ;;w;; me uWu in x3 making ;;w;; me :3 a OwO cuckowd. 
x3 DUKE. >_> Upon >_< minye honyouw, xDD thou shalt marry her. 
x3 Thy UwU swandews UwU I fowgive; ÚwÚ and UwU thewewithaw 
uWu Wemit >w< thy othew OwO fowfeits. ^.^ Take ^.^ him to prison; 
xDD And >_> see UwU ouw :3 pweasuwe >w< hewein ^-^ executed. 
LUCIO. ^w^ Mawwying :3 a punk, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> is uWu pwessing to UwU death, UwU whipping, 
ÚwÚ and OwO hanging. 
x3 DUKE. >_< Swandewing :3 a >_> pwince >_> desewves :3 it. 
Exeunt OFFICEWS with WUCIO 
>_> She, Claudio, :3 that xDD you wrong'd, wook xDD you >w< westowe. 
uWu Joy to UwU you, :33 Mawianya! Wuv hew, Angewo; 
UwU I uWu have >_> confess'd hew, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow her ÚwÚ viwtue. 
>_< Thanks, ÚwÚ good :33 fwiend >_> Escawus, fow >w< thy much :3 goodnyess; 
>_> Thewe's ^.^ mowe x3 behind :3 that >_> is ^.^ mowe gratulate. 
>_< Thanks, >w< Pwovost, fow >w< thy :3 cawe ÚwÚ and secwecy; 
We UwU shaww :33 empwoy uWu thee uWu in :3 a wowthiew ;;w;; pwace. 
>_< Fowgive :3 him, ^w^ Angewo, :3 that ^.^ bwought xDD you ^.^ home 
uWu The >_> head of Ragozine fow ^w^ Cwaudio's: 
xDD Th' offence ^-^ pawdons itself. >_< Deaw Isabel, 
UwU I uWu have :3 a >_> motion much imports x3 youw good; 
:33 Wheweto >_> if you'ww :3 a ^.^ wiwwing ear >w< incwinye, 
x3 What's >_< minye >_> is >_< youws, ÚwÚ and >_> what >_> is >_> youws >_> is ^w^ minye. 
So, ;;w;; bwing >_> us to UwU ouw pawace, :3 whewe we'll x3 show 
x3 What's yet x3 behind ^w^ that's :3 meet xDD you aww >_> shouwd :33 knyow. 
Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





x3 1597 

^-^ THE >w< MEWCHANT ÚwÚ OF ^w^ VENyICE 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

^-^ THE ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^w^ VENyICE 
^-^ THE PWINCE ÚwÚ OF MOWOCCO, suitor to :33 Powtia 
^-^ THE PWINCE ÚwÚ OF :33 AWWAGON, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
uWu ANTONyIO, :3 a merchant of :33 Venyice 
OwO BASSANyIO, :33 his fwiend, suitor to :33 Powtia 
uWu SOWANyIO, :33 fwiend to Antonio ÚwÚ and :3 Bassanyio 
SAWEWIO, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
GRATIANO, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
>_< WOWENZO, uWu in wuv with >_< Jessica 
SHYLOCK, :3 a rich Jew 
TUBAL, :3 a x3 Jew, :33 his :33 fwiend 
^.^ WAUNCEWOT OwO GOBBO, :3 a :3 cwown, xDD sewvant to :33 Shywock 
OLD OwO GOBBO, >w< fathew to OwO Wauncewot 
WEONyAWDO, xDD sewvant to :3 Bassanyio 
OwO BAWTHASAW, xDD sewvant to :33 Powtia 
OwO STEPHANyO, :33 " :33 " :33 " 

PORTIA, :3 a rich ÚwÚ heiwess 
UwU NyEWISSA, her xDD waiting-maid 
OwO JESSICA, daughter to :33 Shywock 

Magnificoes of >_> Venyice, :3 Officews of x3 the UwU Couwt of x3 Justice, 
Gaoler, ÚwÚ Sewvants, ÚwÚ and othew ^-^ Attendants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
>_> Venyice, ÚwÚ and POWTIA'S ;;w;; house uWu at Belmont 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_< Venyice. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew uWu ANTONyIO, SAWEWIO, ÚwÚ and SOLANIO 

>_> ANTONyIO. ^w^ In sooth, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< why UwU I ^w^ am UwU so OwO sad. 
^.^ It wearies OwO me; xDD you >_> say >w< it wearies uWu you; 
OwO But >w< how UwU I caught :33 it, >_> found :33 it, ow ^-^ came ^.^ by :33 it, 
>_> What ^w^ stuff UwU 'tis UwU made :33 of, xDD wheweof >w< it >_> is born, 
UwU I ^w^ am to learn; 
xDD And xDD such :3 a UwU want-wit >_> sadnyess x3 makes of ;;w;; me 
:33 That UwU I uWu have much x3 ado to ^.^ knyow :3 mysewf. 
SALERIO. uWu Youw ^-^ mind >_> is ^w^ tossing on x3 the >_> ocean; 
>_> Thewe :3 whewe x3 youw xDD awgosies, with portly sail- 
Wike signyiows ÚwÚ and rich buwghews on x3 the flood, 
:33 Ow >_< as >w< it :3 wewe x3 the xDD pageants of x3 the ;;w;; sea- 
Do overpeer x3 the petty traffickers, 
:33 That :3 cuwtsy to ÚwÚ them, UwU do them xDD wevewence, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they fwy ^.^ by them with uWu theiw wuvn xDD wings. 
SOWANyIO. :3 Bewieve uWu me, ^w^ siw, xDD had UwU I xDD such venture ^-^ fowth, 
uWu The xDD bettew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 my affections ^.^ wouwd 
^w^ Be with x3 my hopes abroad. UwU I >_> shouwd be still 
Plucking x3 the gwass to ^.^ knyow :3 whewe >_> sits x3 the ;;w;; wind, 
Peering uWu in ÚwÚ maps fow uWu powts, ÚwÚ and xDD piews, ÚwÚ and xDD woads; 
xDD And every :33 object :3 that ^w^ might >_< make ;;w;; me feaw 
Misfowtunye to x3 my ventures, x3 out of doubt, 
Wouwd >_< make ;;w;; me OwO sad. 
SALERIO. OwO My ;;w;; wind, coowing x3 my broth, 
Wouwd ^w^ bwow ;;w;; me to >w< an xDD ague when UwU I xDD thought 
>_> What x3 hawm :3 a wind ^w^ too great ^w^ might UwU do uWu at :33 sea. 
UwU I >_> shouwd nyot >_> see x3 the uWu sandy hour-glass >w< wun 
OwO But UwU I >_> shouwd think of shawwows ÚwÚ and of flats, 
xDD And >_> see x3 my :3 weawthy Andrew ^-^ dock'd uWu in sand, 
Vaiwing her xDD high ;;w;; top >_< wowew than her OwO wibs 
;;w;; To :3 kiss her OwO buwiaw. Should UwU I OwO go to ^-^ chuwch 
xDD And >_> see x3 the >w< howy >_> edifice of OwO stonye, 
xDD And nyot ^.^ bethink ;;w;; me ^w^ stwaight of uWu dangewous UwU wocks, 
>_< Which, ^-^ touching >_> but x3 my ^-^ gentwe vessew's side, 
Wouwd scatter aww her spices on x3 the stweam, 
Enrobe x3 the xDD woawing watews with x3 my >w< siwks, 
^.^ And, uWu in :3 a word, >_> but even nyow ^.^ wowth uWu this, 
xDD And nyow ^.^ wowth nyothing? Shall UwU I uWu have x3 the xDD thought 
;;w;; To think on uWu this, ÚwÚ and UwU shaww UwU I ^.^ wack x3 the xDD thought 
:33 That xDD such :3 a ^.^ thing OwO bechanc'd ^.^ wouwd >_< make ;;w;; me sad? 
OwO But tell nyot OwO me; UwU I ^.^ knyow Antonio 
Is >_> sad to think ;;w;; upon :33 his merchandise. 
>_> ANTONyIO. :3 Bewieve uWu me, ^.^ nyo; UwU I >_> thank x3 my :3 fowtunye fow :33 it, 
OwO My :3 ventuwes OwO awe nyot uWu in one :3 bottom ;;w;; twusted, 
x3 Nyow to one pwace; nor >_> is x3 my whole estate 
>_> Upon x3 the :3 fowtunye of ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent yeaw; 
Therefore x3 my ÚwÚ mewchandise x3 makes ;;w;; me nyot OwO sad. 
SOWANyIO. Why xDD then xDD you OwO awe uWu in love. 
>_> ANTONyIO. OwO Fie, fie! 
SOWANyIO. ÚwÚ Nyot uWu in wuv OwO nyeithew? UwU Then wet >_> us >_> say xDD you OwO awe >_> sad 
>_< Because xDD you OwO awe nyot ;;w;; mewwy; ÚwÚ and >w< 'twewe >_< as ^w^ easy 
For xDD you to laugh ÚwÚ and ^-^ weap ÚwÚ and >_> say xDD you OwO awe >_> mewwy, 
>_< Because xDD you OwO awe nyot OwO sad. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by >_> two-headed >w< Janyus, 
ÚwÚ Nyatuwe hath >w< fwam'd ;;w;; stwange ^w^ fewwows uWu in her time: 
;;w;; Some :3 that xDD wiww evewmowe xDD peep ^w^ thwough uWu theiw ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And laugh ^.^ wike ÚwÚ pawwots uWu at :3 a :3 bag-pipew; 
xDD And othew of xDD such ÚwÚ vinyegaw uWu aspect 
:33 That they'ww nyot x3 show uWu theiw teeth uWu in uWu way of ;;w;; smiwe 
;;w;; Though Nyestow >_< sweaw x3 the xDD jest be laughable. 

Entew OwO BASSANyIO, >_< WOWENZO, ÚwÚ and GRATIANO 

:3 Hewe x3 comes ^-^ Bassanyio, x3 youw UwU most x3 nyobwe xDD kinsman, 
Gwatianyo ÚwÚ and Lorenzo. >w< Fawe OwO ye well; 
We OwO weave xDD you nyow with xDD bettew UwU company. 
SALERIO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have OwO stay'd >w< tiww UwU I xDD had UwU made xDD you >_> mewwy, 
;;w;; If wowthiew ^w^ fwiends xDD had nyot prevented x3 me. 
>_> ANTONyIO. uWu Youw ^.^ wowth >_> is xDD vewy uWu deaw uWu in x3 my :3 wegawd. 
UwU I OwO take >w< it x3 youw UwU own business ;;w;; cawws on UwU you, 
xDD And xDD you >_< embwace x3 th' ;;w;; occasion to uWu depawt. 
SALERIO. ^-^ Good morrow, x3 my ÚwÚ good lords. 
BASSANyIO. ^-^ Good signyiows xDD both, when UwU shaww ^.^ we xDD waugh? x3 Say >_< when. 
>_> You gwow :33 exceeding :3 stwange; ^w^ must >w< it be so? 
SALERIO. ^-^ We'ww >_< make UwU ouw leisures to >_< attend on x3 youws. 
Exeunt SALERIO ÚwÚ and SOLANIO 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. OwO My Lord ^-^ Bassanyio, xDD since xDD you uWu have >_> found Antonio, 
We >w< two xDD wiww OwO weave uWu you; >_> but uWu at dinnyew-time, 
UwU I pray UwU you, uWu have uWu in ^-^ mind :3 whewe ^.^ we ^w^ must ^.^ meet. 
BASSANyIO. UwU I xDD wiww nyot fail OwO you. 
GRATIANO. >_> You wook nyot weww, :33 Signyiow >w< Antonyio; 
>_> You uWu have ^w^ too much wespect ;;w;; upon x3 the wowwd; 
^-^ They wose >w< it :3 that UwU do UwU buy >w< it with much >w< cawe. 
:3 Bewieve uWu me, xDD you OwO awe mawvewwouswy x3 chang'd. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I howd x3 the wowwd >_> but >_< as x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ÚwÚ Gwatianyo- 
^-^ A ^w^ stage, :3 whewe every x3 man ^w^ must :33 pway :3 a >_> pawt, 
xDD And >_< minye :3 a >_> sad onye. 
GRATIANO. Let ;;w;; me :33 pway x3 the xDD foow. 
With >_< miwth ÚwÚ and :33 waughtew wet ;;w;; owd ^.^ wwinkwes >_< come; 
xDD And wet x3 my wivew rather ^.^ heat with winye 
Than x3 my >_< heawt :3 coow with mowtifying groans. 
Why >_> shouwd :3 a x3 man x3 whose :3 bwood >_> is wawm within 
xDD Sit ^.^ wike :33 his >_> gwandsiwe :3 cut uWu in >_> awabastew, 
OwO Sweep when ^.^ he wakes, ÚwÚ and :3 cweep x3 into x3 the ^.^ jaundice 
^-^ By ^.^ being ^w^ peevish? UwU I tell uWu thee x3 what, Antonyio- 
UwU I wuv ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis x3 my wuv :3 that ;;w;; speaks- 
>_> Thewe OwO awe :3 a ;;w;; sowt of ;;w;; men x3 whose OwO visages 
Do cream ÚwÚ and ^-^ mantwe ^.^ wike :3 a >_< standing ÚwÚ pond, 
xDD And UwU do :3 a ^.^ wiwfuw stiwwnyess >_< entewtain, 
With OwO puwpose to be dwess'd uWu in >w< an opinyion 
Of wisdom, gravity, profound :33 conceit; 
;;w;; As who >_> shouwd >_> say ÚwÚ 'I ^w^ am Sir >_< Owacwe, 
xDD And when UwU I ^w^ ope x3 my lips wet nyo dog bark.' 
x3 O x3 my Antonio, UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow of these 
:33 That >_< thewefowe >w< onwy OwO awe weputed uWu wise 
For :3 saying uWu nyothing; xDD when, UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy x3 suwe, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they >_> shouwd :3 speak, ^.^ wouwd almost damn UwU those OwO eaws 
>_< Which, hearing ÚwÚ them, ^.^ wouwd caww uWu theiw bwothews ;;w;; foows. 
I'll tell uWu thee ^.^ mowe of ÚwÚ this anyothew uWu time. 
OwO But :33 fish nyot with ÚwÚ this ^-^ mewanchowy x3 bait 
For ÚwÚ this >w< foow ^.^ gudgeon, ÚwÚ this opinyion. 
^.^ Come, ÚwÚ good Lorenzo. >w< Fawe OwO ye weww awhile; 
I'll >w< end x3 my UwU exhowtation ÚwÚ aftew uWu dinnyew. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. xDD Weww, ^.^ we xDD wiww OwO weave xDD you xDD then >w< tiww dinner-time. 
UwU I ^w^ must be one of these same UwU dumb uWu wise men, 
For Gwatianyo >_< nyevew wets ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
GRATIANO. xDD Weww, >_< keep ;;w;; me >_< company >_> but >w< two years :3 moe, 
^.^ Thou shalt nyot ^.^ knyow x3 the >_> sound of ^.^ thinye UwU own :33 tongue. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >w< Fawe xDD you well; I'll gwow :3 a OwO tawkew fow ÚwÚ this ^.^ geaw. 
GRATIANO. >_< Thanks, :33 i' ^w^ faith, fow :3 siwence >_> is >w< onwy commendabwe 
^w^ In :3 a nyeat's >_> tongue :3 dwied, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< maid nyot vendible. 
Exeunt GRATIANO ÚwÚ and >w< WOWENZO 
>_> ANTONyIO. Is :3 that ;;w;; anything ^.^ nyow? 
BASSANyIO. Gwatianyo xDD speaks >w< an :3 infinyite deal of uWu nyothing, ^.^ mowe than 
xDD any x3 man uWu in aww >_< Venyice. ÚwÚ His weasons OwO awe >_< as >w< two :33 gwains of OwO wheat >_< hid 
x3 in, >w< two bushels of ^w^ chaff: xDD you UwU shaww >_> seek aww day ere xDD you find 
ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and when xDD you uWu have them ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot ^.^ wowth x3 the seawch. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^-^ Weww; tell ;;w;; me nyow >_> what uWu wady >_> is x3 the same 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom xDD you >w< swowe :3 a secret >_> piwgwimage, 
:33 That xDD you ^w^ to-day pwomis'd to tell ;;w;; me UwU of? 
BASSANyIO. 'Tis nyot unknown to UwU you, Antonio, 
How much UwU I uWu have ^.^ disabwed >_< minye estate 
^-^ By ^-^ something ^.^ showing :3 a ^.^ mowe xDD swewwing ^.^ powt 
Than x3 my ÚwÚ faint means ^.^ wouwd gwant continuance; 
x3 Nyow UwU do UwU I nyow >_< make >_> moan to be xDD abwidg'd 
Fwom xDD such :3 a x3 nyobwe rate; >_> but x3 my uWu chief :3 cawe 
Is to come ^.^ faiwwy x3 off from x3 the great debts 
^-^ Whewein x3 my time, ^-^ something ^w^ too ^.^ pwodigaw, 
>_< Hath left ;;w;; me gag'd. ;;w;; To UwU you, Antonio, 
UwU I >_> owe x3 the :3 most, uWu in monyey ÚwÚ and uWu in love; 
xDD And from x3 youw wuv UwU I uWu have :3 a ^-^ wawwanty 
;;w;; To unburden aww x3 my plots ÚwÚ and uWu puwposes 
How to get ^-^ cweaw of aww x3 the debts UwU I owe. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I pray UwU you, ÚwÚ good ^-^ Bassanyio, wet ;;w;; me ^.^ knyow uWu it; 
xDD And >_> if >w< it x3 stand, >_< as xDD you >_> youwsewf still UwU do, 
OwO Within x3 the ^w^ eye of honyouw, be x3 assuw'd 
OwO My puwse, x3 my pewson, x3 my extremest >_< means, 
Lie aww unwock'd to x3 youw >w< occasions. 
BASSANyIO. ^w^ In x3 my :3 schoow-days, when UwU I xDD had wost one OwO shaft, 
UwU I UwU shot :33 his fewwow of x3 the sewf-same :33 fwight 
uWu The sewf-same :3 way, with ^.^ mowe ^w^ advised >w< watch, 
;;w;; To find x3 the othew forth; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by >_< adventuwing both 
UwU I ;;w;; oft >_> found xDD both. UwU I urge ÚwÚ this childhood uWu pwoof, 
>_< Because >_> what xDD fowwows >_> is puwe ^w^ innyocence. 
UwU I >_> owe xDD you >_> much; x3 and, ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ wiwfuw youth, 
:33 That which UwU I >_> owe >_> is ^.^ wost; >_> but >_> if xDD you uWu pwease 
;;w;; To >w< shoot anyothew arrow :3 that self uWu way 
>_< Which xDD you uWu did >w< shoot x3 the ÚwÚ fiwst, UwU I UwU do nyot doubt, 
;;w;; As UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; watch x3 the >_< aim, ow to find xDD both, 
:33 Ow ;;w;; bwing x3 youw UwU wattew >_< hazawd back again 
xDD And thankfully xDD west ÚwÚ debtow fow x3 the fiwst. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_> You ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me weww, ÚwÚ and >w< hewein spend >_> but time 
;;w;; To wind about x3 my wuv with >w< ciwcumstance; 
xDD And x3 out of doubt xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me nyow ^.^ mowe wrong 
^w^ In x3 making ;;w;; question of x3 my uttermost 
Than >_> if xDD you xDD had UwU made uWu waste of aww UwU I :3 have. 
UwU Then UwU do >_> but >_> say to ;;w;; me >_> what UwU I >_> shouwd UwU do 
:33 That uWu in x3 youw >_< knyowwedge OwO may ^.^ by ;;w;; me be :33 donye, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am >w< pwest >w< unto uWu it; OwO thewefowe, >_< speak. 
BASSANyIO. ^w^ In Belmont >_> is :3 a uWu wady :33 wichwy uWu weft, 
xDD And ^.^ she >_> is >w< faiw x3 and, fairer than :3 that word, 
Of wondwous virtues. Sometimes from her eyes 
UwU I uWu did receive >w< faiw speechwess UwU messages. 
:3 Hew xDD nyame >_> is xDD Powtia- >_< nyothing >_< undewvawu'd 
;;w;; To ^.^ Cato's ^w^ daughtew, ^-^ Bwutus' ^.^ Powtia. 
x3 Nyow >_> is x3 the uWu wide wowwd ÚwÚ ignyowant of her wowth; 
For x3 the fouw >_< winds ^w^ bwow uWu in from every :3 coast 
UwU Wenyownyed >_> suitows, ÚwÚ and her sunny locks 
Hang on her ^.^ tempwes ^.^ wike :3 a golden fleece, 
>_< Which x3 makes her uWu seat of Belmont uWu Cowchos' stwond, 
xDD And UwU many xDD Jasons come uWu in ^w^ quest of her. 
x3 O x3 my Antonio, xDD had UwU I >_> but x3 the means 
;;w;; To howd :3 a wivaw :33 pwace with one of ÚwÚ them, 
UwU I uWu have :3 a ^-^ mind xDD pwesages ;;w;; me xDD such thrift 
:33 That UwU I >_> shouwd questionless be >_> fowtunyate. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st :3 that aww x3 my fowtunyes OwO awe uWu at sea; 
>_> Nyeithew uWu have UwU I monyey nor :3 commodity 
;;w;; To >w< waise :3 a xDD pwesent sum; >_< thewefowe OwO go ^-^ fowth, 
Twy >_> what x3 my cwedit ^.^ can uWu in :33 Venyice do; 
:33 That UwU shaww be rack'd, even to x3 the ÚwÚ uttewmost, 
;;w;; To furnish uWu thee to Belmont to >w< faiw ^.^ Powtia. 
Go presently ÚwÚ inquiwe, ÚwÚ and UwU so xDD wiww I, 
Whewe monyey is; ÚwÚ and UwU I nyo ;;w;; question >_< make 
;;w;; To uWu have >w< it of x3 my :33 twust ow fow x3 my sake. Exeunt 





>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Belmont. POWTIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew PORTIA with her >w< waiting-woman, NyEWISSA 

POWTIA. ^-^ By x3 my troth, Nerissa, x3 my xDD wittwe >w< body >_> is >_> aweawy of ÚwÚ this 
great wowwd. 
OwO NyEWISSA. >_> You ^.^ wouwd be, x3 sweet UwU madam, >_> if x3 youw misewies :3 wewe uWu in x3 the 
same abundance >_< as x3 youw ÚwÚ good fowtunyes >_< awe; ÚwÚ and ^w^ yet, fow ^.^ aught UwU I 
see, ;;w;; they OwO awe >_< as >w< sick :3 that suwfeit with ^w^ too much >_< as ;;w;; they :3 that 
starve with OwO nyothing. ^.^ It >_> is nyo >_> mean happinyess, OwO thewefowe, to be 
seated uWu in x3 the UwU mean: supewfwuity come :33 soonyew ^.^ by ^-^ white hairs, >_> but 
competency ;;w;; wives wongew. 
POWTIA. ^-^ Good :33 sentences, ÚwÚ and weww x3 pwonyounc'd. 
OwO NyEWISSA. ^-^ They ^.^ wouwd be better, >_> if weww fowwowed. 
POWTIA. ;;w;; If to UwU do :3 wewe >_< as ^w^ easy >_< as to ^.^ knyow >_> what :3 wewe ÚwÚ good to UwU do, 
ÚwÚ chapews xDD had :33 been chuwches, ÚwÚ and poor men's x3 cottages princes' 
>_< pawaces. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good divine :3 that xDD fowwows :33 his UwU own xDD instwuctions; UwU I 
^.^ can xDD easiew >_< teach ÚwÚ twenty >_> what :3 wewe ÚwÚ good to be donye than to be one 
of x3 the ÚwÚ twenty to ;;w;; fowwow >_< minye UwU own >_> teaching. uWu The :3 bwain OwO may >w< devise 
UwU waws fow x3 the bwood, >_> but :3 a :3 hot xDD tempew weaps ^-^ o'ew :3 a UwU cowd decwee; 
xDD such :3 a UwU hawe >_> is ^-^ madnyess x3 the youth, to UwU skip ^-^ o'ew x3 the meshes of ÚwÚ good 
counsel x3 the ;;w;; cwippwe. OwO But ÚwÚ this :33 weasonying >_> is nyot uWu in x3 the fashion to 
choose ;;w;; me :3 a husband. x3 O uWu me, x3 the ;;w;; wowd :33 'choose'! UwU I OwO may :3 nyeithew 
choose who UwU I ^.^ wouwd nor refuse who UwU I ^w^ diswike; UwU so >_> is x3 the xDD wiww of :3 a 
UwU wiving daughter uWu cuwb'd ^.^ by x3 the xDD wiww of :3 a >_< dead :33 fathew. Is >w< it nyot 
hawd, Nerissa, :3 that UwU I ;;w;; cannyot choose one, nor refuse none? 
OwO NyEWISSA. uWu Youw >w< fathew UwU was OwO evew virtuous, ÚwÚ and >w< howy ;;w;; men uWu at uWu theiw :33 death 
uWu have ÚwÚ good uWu inspiwations; >_< thewefowe x3 the x3 wott'wy :3 that ^.^ he hath 
>w< devised uWu in these >w< thwee ^w^ chests, of ^.^ gowd, ^.^ siwvew, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wead- xDD wheweof 
who chooses :33 his meaning chooses :3 you- xDD wiww nyo doubt >_< nyevew be 
OwO chosen ^.^ by xDD any rightly >_> but one who xDD you UwU shaww rightly love. OwO But 
>_> what warmth >_> is there uWu in x3 youw :3 affection uWu towawds xDD any of these 
princely ^-^ suitows :3 that OwO awe xDD awweady come? 
POWTIA. UwU I pray uWu thee over-name OwO them; ÚwÚ and >_< as xDD thou namest ÚwÚ them, UwU I xDD wiww 
>_< descwibe OwO them; ÚwÚ and accowding to x3 my ^w^ descwiption, ^w^ wevew uWu at x3 my 
OwO affection. 
OwO NyEWISSA. ^.^ Fiwst, there >_> is x3 the OwO Nyeapowitan pwince. 
POWTIA. Ay, ^w^ that's :3 a uWu cowt :33 indeed, fow ^.^ he xDD doth >_< nyothing >_> but tawk of 
:33 his :33 howse; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he x3 makes >w< it :3 a great appropriation to :33 his UwU own ÚwÚ good 
parts :3 that ^.^ he ^.^ can >w< shoe ^.^ him :33 himsewf; UwU I ^w^ am much ^w^ afeaw'd x3 my uWu wady :33 his 
mothew pway'd UwU fawse with :3 a ^w^ smith. 
OwO NyEWISSA. UwU Then >_> is there x3 the xDD County Pawatinye. 
POWTIA. >w< He xDD doth >_< nyothing >_> but fwown, >_< as who >_> shouwd >_> say >_< 'An xDD you xDD wiww 
nyot uWu have uWu me, uWu choose.' >w< He x3 heaws ^.^ mewwy ;;w;; tawes ÚwÚ and ^-^ smiwes not. UwU I feaw 
^.^ he xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv x3 the weeping x3 phiwosophew when ^.^ he gwows :3 owd, ^.^ being UwU so 
full of uWu unmannyewwy >_> sadnyess uWu in :33 his >_< youth. UwU I xDD had rather be mawwied 
to :3 a death's-head with :3 a bonye uWu in :33 his xDD mouth than to xDD eithew of 
:3 these. ^w^ God ;;w;; defend ;;w;; me from these OwO two! 
OwO NyEWISSA. How >_> say xDD you ^.^ by x3 the OwO Fwench uWu wowd, ;;w;; Monsieuw Le UwU Bon? 
POWTIA. ^w^ God UwU made :3 him, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe wet ^.^ him pass fow :3 a man. ^w^ In 
truth, UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it >_> is :3 a x3 sin to be :3 a mockew, >_> but xDD he- >w< why, ^.^ he hath :3 a 
UwU howse xDD bettew than x3 the ^-^ Nyeapowitan's, :3 a xDD bettew :33 bad OwO habit of 
>_> fwownying than x3 the xDD Count ^-^ Pawatinye; ^.^ he >_> is every x3 man uWu in nyo man. ;;w;; If :3 a 
^.^ thwostwe ^.^ sing ^.^ he ^w^ fawws ^w^ stwaight ^.^ a-cap'wing; ^.^ he xDD wiww ;;w;; fence with 
:33 his UwU own ÚwÚ shadow; >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd marry :3 him, UwU I >_> shouwd marry ÚwÚ twenty 
husbands. ;;w;; If ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_> despise uWu me, UwU I ^.^ wouwd :33 fowgive him; fow >_> if ^.^ he 
wuv ;;w;; me to xDD madnyess, UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew :3 wequite ^.^ him. 
OwO NyEWISSA. >_> What >_> say xDD you xDD then to Fawconbwidge, x3 the xDD young >_< bawon of 
Engwand? 
POWTIA. >_> You ^.^ knyow UwU I >_> say >_< nyothing to :3 him, fow ^.^ he :3 undewstands nyot uWu me, 
nor UwU I :33 him: ^.^ he hath :3 nyeithew xDD Watin, Fwench, nor Itawian, ÚwÚ and xDD you 
xDD wiww come x3 into x3 the court ÚwÚ and >_< sweaw :3 that UwU I uWu have :3 a poor xDD pennywowth 
uWu in x3 the Engwish. >w< He >_> is :3 a OwO pwopew :33 man's ;;w;; pictuwe; >_> but :3 awas, who ^.^ can 
convewse with :3 a :3 dumb-show? How oddly ^.^ he >_> is UwU suited! UwU I think ^.^ he 
xDD bought :33 his ^w^ doubwet uWu in Italy, :33 his ;;w;; wound >_> hose uWu in >_< Fwance, :33 his :3 bonnyet 
uWu in >_> Gewmany, ÚwÚ and :33 his >_> behaviouw :3 evewywhewe. 
OwO NyEWISSA. >_> What think xDD you of x3 the ^.^ Scottish uWu wowd, :33 his nyeighbouw? 
POWTIA. :33 That ^.^ he hath :3 a ^-^ nyeighbouwwy xDD chawity uWu in :3 him, fow ^.^ he bowwowed 
:3 a ^w^ box of x3 the ear of x3 the Engwishman, ÚwÚ and >w< swowe ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd x3 pay ^.^ him 
again when ^.^ he UwU was able; UwU I think x3 the OwO Fwenchman ÚwÚ became :33 his OwO suwety, 
ÚwÚ and OwO seaw'd :33 undew fow anyothew. 
OwO NyEWISSA. How ^.^ wike xDD you x3 the xDD young German, x3 the >w< Duke of UwU Saxony's 
UwU nyephew? 
POWTIA. Very uWu viwewy uWu in x3 the mownying when ^.^ he >_> is sobew; ÚwÚ and UwU most 
uWu viwewy uWu in x3 the >_< aftewnyoon when ^.^ he >_> is drunk. x3 When ^.^ he >_> is ^w^ best, ^.^ he >_> is 
:3 a xDD wittwe xDD wowse than :3 a ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and when ^.^ he >_> is ^.^ wowst, ^.^ he >_> is xDD wittwe 
xDD bettew than :3 a beast. ^-^ An x3 the worst faww :3 that OwO evew fell, UwU I UwU hope UwU I 
UwU shaww >_< make OwO shift to OwO go ^-^ without ^.^ him. 
OwO NyEWISSA. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> shouwd offer to UwU choose, ÚwÚ and choose x3 the >w< wight :33 casket, 
xDD you >_> shouwd refuse to x3 pewfowm x3 youw father's :33 wiww, >_> if xDD you >_> shouwd 
refuse to xDD accept ^.^ him. 
POWTIA. >_< Thewefowe, fow feaw of x3 the ^.^ wowst, UwU I pray uWu thee uWu set :3 a >_> deep 
gwass of Whenyish winye on x3 the :33 contwawy UwU casket; fow >_> if x3 the ^.^ deviw be 
within ÚwÚ and :3 that ^-^ temptation without, UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ he xDD wiww choose :3 it. UwU I 
xDD wiww UwU do anything, Nerissa, ere UwU I xDD wiww be mawwied to :3 a ;;w;; sponge. 
OwO NyEWISSA. >_> You >_< nyeed nyot ;;w;; feaw, UwU wady, x3 the xDD having xDD any of these :3 wowds; 
;;w;; they uWu have >_> acquainted ;;w;; me with uWu theiw determinations, which >_> is 
ÚwÚ indeed to ^-^ wetuwn to uWu theiw ^.^ home, ÚwÚ and to >_> twoubwe xDD you with nyo ^.^ mowe 
^.^ suit, ^w^ unwess xDD you OwO may be ^.^ won ^.^ by x3 some othew ;;w;; sowt than x3 youw father's 
uWu imposition, depending on x3 the ;;w;; caskets. 
POWTIA. ;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ wive to be >_< as ;;w;; owd >_< as >w< Sibywwa, UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ die >_< as >w< chaste >_< as 
OwO Dianya, ^w^ unwess UwU I be >_< obtainyed ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ mannyew of x3 my father's :33 wiww. UwU I 
^w^ am uWu gwad ÚwÚ this parcel of >_> wooews OwO awe UwU so UwU weasonyabwe; fow there >_> is nyot 
one ^-^ among them >_> but UwU I >_> dote on :33 his xDD vewy >_> absence, ÚwÚ and UwU I pray ^w^ God 
gwant them :3 a >w< faiw departure. 
OwO NyEWISSA. Do xDD you nyot UwU wemembew, UwU wady, uWu in x3 youw father's time, :3 a 
Venyetian, :3 a scholar ÚwÚ and :3 a sowdiew, :3 that ^-^ came ÚwÚ hithew uWu in >_< company of 
x3 the ^w^ Mawquis of ^w^ Montfewwat? 
POWTIA. Yes, :3 yes, >w< it UwU was ^-^ Bassanyio; >_< as UwU I >_< think, UwU so UwU was ^.^ he call'd. 
OwO NyEWISSA. >_< Twue, x3 madam; xDD he, of aww x3 the ;;w;; men :3 that OwO evew x3 my >_< foowish eyes 
>_> wook'd upon, UwU was x3 the best desewving :3 a >w< faiw >_> wady. 
POWTIA. UwU I remember ^.^ him weww, ÚwÚ and UwU I remember ^.^ him ÚwÚ wowthy of >w< thy 
;;w;; pwaise. 

Entew :3 a ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 

How >_< nyow! >_> what nyews? 
SEWVINGMAN. uWu The fouw stwangews >_> seek fow UwU you, UwU madam, to OwO take uWu theiw 
:3 weave; ÚwÚ and there >_> is :3 a forerunner come from :3 a UwU fifth, x3 the Prince of 
Mowocco, who >_< bwings ;;w;; wowd x3 the Prince :33 his >_< mastew xDD wiww be OwO hewe 
to-night. 
POWTIA. ;;w;; If UwU I couwd bid x3 the :3 fifth wewcome with UwU so ÚwÚ good >_< heawt >_< as UwU I 
^.^ can bid x3 the othew fouw farewell, UwU I >_> shouwd be uWu gwad of :33 his 
>_> appwoach; >_> if ^.^ he uWu have x3 the condition of :3 a ^.^ saint ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< compwexion 
of :3 a deviw, UwU I xDD had rather ^.^ he >_> shouwd >_> shwive ;;w;; me than ^w^ wive x3 me. 
^.^ Come, >_< Nyewissa. Siwwah, OwO go befowe. 
Whiwes ^.^ we shut x3 the uWu gate ;;w;; upon one ÚwÚ wooew, anyothew ÚwÚ knyocks uWu at x3 the 
UwU doow. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
>_< Venyice. ^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew ^w^ BASSANyIO With :3 SHYWOCK x3 the Jew 

OwO SHYWOCK. Thwee thousand ducats- well. 
BASSANyIO. Ay, ^w^ siw, fow >w< thwee ÚwÚ months. 
OwO SHYWOCK. For >w< thwee months- well. 
BASSANyIO. For x3 the ^w^ which, >_< as UwU I told UwU you, Antonio UwU shaww be UwU bound. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Antonio UwU shaww :33 become >_> bound- well. 
BASSANyIO. ^-^ May xDD you OwO stead me? Will xDD you :3 pweasuwe me? Shall UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw 
answer? 
OwO SHYWOCK. Thwee thousand ;;w;; ducats fow >w< thwee ^-^ months, ÚwÚ and Antonio UwU bound. 
BASSANyIO. uWu Youw answew to x3 that. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Antonio >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good man. 
BASSANyIO. :3 Have xDD you heard xDD any ;;w;; imputation to x3 the uWu contwawy? 
OwO SHYWOCK. >w< Ho, no, no, no, ^.^ nyo; x3 my meaning uWu in :3 saying ^.^ he >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 man 
>_> is to uWu have xDD you understand ;;w;; me :3 that ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; sufficient; yet :33 his means 
OwO awe uWu in UwU supposition: ^.^ he hath >w< an ^.^ awgosy bound to xDD Twipowis, anyothew 
to x3 the >_> Indies; UwU I undewstand, ^w^ moweuvw, ;;w;; upon x3 the :33 Wiawto, ^.^ he hath :3 a 
thiwd uWu at ÚwÚ Mexico, :3 a :3 fouwth fow Engwand- ÚwÚ and othew :3 ventuwes ^.^ he 
:33 hath, squand'red abroad. OwO But ÚwÚ ships OwO awe >_> but ÚwÚ boawds, saiwows >_> but 
ÚwÚ men; there be ;;w;; wand-wats ÚwÚ and ^-^ watew-wats, x3 watew-thieves ÚwÚ and 
land-thieves- UwU I >_> mean uWu piwates; ÚwÚ and xDD then there >_> is x3 the peril of 
^.^ watews, winds, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wocks. uWu The x3 man ;;w;; is, >w< nyotwithstanding, 
>w< sufficient. Thwee thousand ducats- UwU I think UwU I OwO may OwO take :33 his UwU bond. 
BASSANyIO. ^w^ Be x3 assuw'd xDD you may. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I xDD wiww be x3 assuw'd UwU I ;;w;; may; x3 and, :3 that UwU I OwO may be ^.^ assuwed, UwU I 
xDD wiww ^.^ bethink x3 me. ^-^ May UwU I speak with Antonyio? 
BASSANyIO. ;;w;; If >w< it uWu pwease xDD you to ÚwÚ dinye with >_> us. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Yes, to smell powk, to eat of x3 the ^w^ habitation which x3 youw 
UwU pwophet, x3 the Nyazawite, >_< conjuwed x3 the ^.^ deviw ^w^ into! UwU I xDD wiww UwU buy with 
UwU you, ;;w;; seww with UwU you, tawk with UwU you, UwU wawk with UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU so 
x3 fowwowing; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww nyot eat with UwU you, ÚwÚ dwink with UwU you, nor pray 
with OwO you. >_> What nyews on x3 the OwO Wiawto? Who >_> is ^.^ he x3 comes hewe? 

Entew ÚwÚ ANTONyIO 

BASSANyIO. This >_> is :33 Signyiow Antonio. 
OwO SHYWOCK. :3 [Aside] How ^.^ wike :3 a uWu fawnying pubwican ^.^ he OwO wooks! 
UwU I ^-^ hate ^.^ him fow ^.^ he >_> is :3 a xDD Chwistian; 
OwO But ^.^ mowe fow :3 that uWu in wow simplicity 
>w< He wends x3 out monyey gratis, ÚwÚ and >_< bwings down 
uWu The wate of ;;w;; usance OwO hewe with >_> us uWu in >_< Venyice. 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ can catch ^.^ him >_> once ;;w;; upon x3 the hip, 
UwU I xDD wiww >w< feed :33 fat x3 the UwU ancient >_< gwudge UwU I UwU beaw ^.^ him. 
>w< He hates UwU ouw uWu sacwed nation; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ;;w;; waiws, 
Even there :3 whewe merchants UwU most UwU do congregate, 
On uWu me, x3 my bargains, ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu weww-won thwift, 
>_< Which ^.^ he ;;w;; cawws OwO intewest. ;;w;; Cuwsed be x3 my twibe 
;;w;; If UwU I :33 fowgive x3 him! 
BASSANyIO. >_< Shywock, UwU do xDD you UwU heaw? 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I ^w^ am UwU debating of x3 my xDD pwesent store, 
^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 the nyeaw guess of x3 my xDD memowy, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot instantly >w< waise x3 up x3 the gwoss 
Of full >w< thwee thousand xDD ducats. >_> What of ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ Tubaw, :3 a :3 weawthy Hebrew of x3 my :33 twibe, 
Will furnish x3 me. OwO But xDD soft! >w< how UwU many ^w^ months 
Do xDD you desiwe? :33 [To UwU ANTONyIO] xDD West xDD you faiw, ÚwÚ good ^.^ signyiow; 
uWu Youw :33 wowship UwU was x3 the >w< wast x3 man uWu in UwU ouw xDD mouths. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_< Shywock, OwO awbeit UwU I :3 nyeithew xDD wend nor :3 bowwow 
^-^ By :3 taking nor ^.^ by ^.^ giving of xDD excess, 
Yet, to suppwy x3 the ripe wants of x3 my fwiend, 
I'll bweak :3 a custom. :33 [To BASSANIO] Is ^.^ he yet >_< possess'd 
How much OwO ye would? 
OwO SHYWOCK. Ay, :33 ay, >w< thwee thousand xDD ducats. 
>_> ANTONyIO. xDD And fow >w< thwee ÚwÚ months. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I xDD had forgot- >w< thwee OwO months; xDD you told ;;w;; me :3 so. 
Weww >w< then, x3 youw bond; x3 and, wet ;;w;; me >_> see- >_> but hear UwU you, 
OwO Methoughts xDD you uWu said xDD you :3 nyeithew xDD wend nor :3 bowwow 
>_> Upon uWu advantage. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I UwU do >_< nyevew use :3 it. 
OwO SHYWOCK. x3 When :3 Jacob uWu gwaz'd :33 his :33 uncwe :33 Waban's sheep- 
This :3 Jacob from UwU ouw >w< howy :33 Abwam UwU was, 
;;w;; As :33 his uWu wise mothew ;;w;; wwought uWu in :33 his UwU behawf, 
uWu The thiwd ÚwÚ possessow; :33 ay, ^.^ he UwU was x3 the thiwd- 
>_> ANTONyIO. xDD And >_> what of him? Did ^.^ he OwO take ^.^ intewest? 
OwO SHYWOCK. :3 Nyo, nyot OwO take interest; >_> nyot, >_< as xDD you ^.^ wouwd say, 
Directly int'rest; mark >_> what :3 Jacob UwU did: 
x3 When >w< Waban ÚwÚ and >_< himsewf :3 wewe x3 compwomis'd 
:33 That aww x3 the eanwings which :3 wewe streak'd ÚwÚ and pied 
Should faww >_< as >_> Jacob's hiwe, x3 the >_> ewes, ^.^ being UwU wank, 
^w^ In >w< end of ^w^ autumn turned to x3 the ^w^ wams; 
xDD And when x3 the ^.^ wowk of OwO genyewation UwU was 
Between these :3 woowwy x3 bweedews uWu in x3 the ;;w;; act, 
uWu The >_< skiwfuw xDD shephewd :3 piww'd ;;w;; me xDD cewtain :3 wands, 
^.^ And, uWu in x3 the xDD doing of x3 the ^.^ deed of ;;w;; kind, 
>w< He ^.^ stuck them x3 up >w< befowe x3 the fulsome >_> ewes, 
UwU Who, xDD then ^.^ conceiving, uWu did uWu in eaning time 
Fall OwO pawti-cowouw'd lambs, ÚwÚ and UwU those :3 wewe ÚwÚ Jacob's. 
This UwU was :3 a uWu way to thwive, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU was OwO bwest; 
xDD And thrift >_> is blessing, >_> if ;;w;; men ^.^ steaw >w< it not. 
>_> ANTONyIO. This UwU was :3 a :33 ventuwe, ^w^ siw, :3 that :3 Jacob sewv'd ^w^ fow; 
^-^ A ^.^ thing nyot uWu in :33 his powew to ;;w;; bwing to pass, 
OwO But >w< sway'd ÚwÚ and uWu fashion'd ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand of UwU heaven. 
Was ÚwÚ this inserted to >_< make ÚwÚ intewest good? 
:33 Ow >_> is x3 youw gowd ÚwÚ and :33 siwvew ^-^ ewes ÚwÚ and rams? 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell; UwU I >_< make >w< it breed >_< as uWu fast. 
OwO But ^-^ nyote uWu me, ;;w;; signyiow. 
>_> ANTONyIO. :3 [Aside] >_> Mawk xDD you uWu this, ^-^ Bassanyio, 
uWu The ^.^ deviw ^.^ can cite Scripture fow :33 his puwpose. 
^-^ An eviw :3 souw OwO pwoducing >w< howy >_> witnyess 
Is ^.^ wike :3 a viwwain with :3 a x3 smiwing OwO cheek, 
^-^ A xDD goodwy apple wotten uWu at x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 
>_< O, >_> what :3 a xDD goodwy uWu outside UwU fawsehood x3 hath! 
OwO SHYWOCK. Thwee thousand ducats- UwU 'tis :3 a ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wound UwU sum. 
Thwee ^w^ months from twelve; xDD then wet ;;w;; me see, x3 the rate- 
>_> ANTONyIO. xDD Weww, >_< Shywock, UwU shaww ^.^ we be beholding to you? 
OwO SHYWOCK. :33 Signyiow Antonio, UwU many :3 a time ÚwÚ and ;;w;; oft 
^w^ In x3 the Wiawto xDD you uWu have :33 wated ;;w;; me 
About x3 my ;;w;; monyeys ÚwÚ and x3 my UwU usances; 
UwU Stiww uWu have UwU I :3 bownye >w< it with :3 a patient :33 shwug, 
For suff'wance >_> is x3 the x3 badge of aww UwU ouw :3 twibe; 
>_> You caww ;;w;; me misbewievew, >w< cut-thwoat dog, 
xDD And spit ;;w;; upon x3 my :33 Jewish gaberdine, 
xDD And aww fow use of :3 that which >_> is >_< minye own. 
Weww >w< then, >w< it nyow >_> appeaws xDD you >_< nyeed x3 my UwU hewp; 
Go ^.^ to, :33 then; xDD you come to uWu me, ÚwÚ and xDD you >_> say 
'Shywock, ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^-^ monyeys.' >_> You >_> say OwO so- 
>_> You :3 that uWu did >_< void x3 youw rheum ;;w;; upon x3 my ^w^ beawd 
xDD And :33 foot ;;w;; me >_< as xDD you :33 spuwn :3 a stwangew cur 
Over x3 youw ^w^ thweshowd; ;;w;; monyeys >_> is x3 youw OwO suit. 
>_> What >_> shouwd UwU I >_> say to you? Should UwU I nyot >_> say 
>_> 'Hath :3 a dog monyey? Is >w< it OwO possibwe 
^-^ A cur ^.^ can xDD wend >w< thwee thousand x3 ducats?' :33 Ow 
Shall UwU I >w< bend wow x3 and, uWu in :3 a bondman's >_> key, 
With bated UwU bweath ÚwÚ and whisp'wing humbleness, 
x3 Say :33 this: 
'Fair ^w^ siw, xDD you spit on ;;w;; me on >w< Wednyesday last, 
>_> You spurn'd ;;w;; me xDD such :3 a uWu day; anyothew time 
>_> You ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me xDD dog; ÚwÚ and fow these couwtesies 
I'll xDD wend xDD you OwO thus much ^.^ monyeys'? 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I ^w^ am >_< as ^.^ wike to caww uWu thee UwU so OwO again, 
;;w;; To spit on uWu thee OwO again, to :33 spuwn uWu thee UwU too. 
;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt xDD wend ÚwÚ this monyey, xDD wend >w< it nyot 
;;w;; As to >w< thy >_> fwiends- fow when uWu did ÚwÚ fwiendship OwO take 
^-^ A breed fow ^-^ bawwen >_< metaw of :33 his friend?- 
OwO But xDD wend >w< it rather to ^.^ thinye enyemy, 
Who >_> if ^.^ he bweak xDD thou uWu mayst with xDD bettew OwO face 
UwU Exact x3 the penalty. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Why, wook UwU you, >w< how xDD you >_> stowm! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd be ^w^ fwiends with UwU you, ÚwÚ and uWu have x3 youw xDD wuv, 
:3 Fowget x3 the UwU shames :3 that xDD you uWu have x3 stain'd ;;w;; me OwO with, 
uWu Suppwy x3 youw xDD pwesent ;;w;; wants, ÚwÚ and OwO take nyo OwO doit 
Of ;;w;; usance fow x3 my UwU monyeys, ÚwÚ and you'ww nyot hear x3 me. 
This >_> is uWu kind UwU I UwU offew. 
BASSANyIO. This :3 wewe kindness. 
OwO SHYWOCK. This OwO kindnyess xDD wiww UwU I show. 
Go with ;;w;; me to :3 a >w< nyotawy, UwU seaw ;;w;; me there 
uWu Youw :3 singwe bond, x3 and, uWu in :3 a ^.^ mewwy sport, 
;;w;; If xDD you wepay ;;w;; me nyot on xDD such :3 a ^-^ day, 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a pwace, xDD such >w< sum ow uWu sums >_< as OwO awe 
x3 Expwess'd uWu in x3 the ^w^ condition, wet x3 the forfeit 
^w^ Be ^w^ nyominyated fow >w< an equal ;;w;; pound 
Of x3 youw >w< faiw OwO fwesh, to be :3 cut x3 off ÚwÚ and :33 taken 
^w^ In >_> what ÚwÚ pawt of x3 youw >w< body xDD pweaseth x3 me. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Content, uWu in xDD faith; I'll UwU seaw to xDD such :3 a bond, 
xDD And >_> say there >_> is much OwO kindnyess uWu in x3 the ^w^ Jew. 
BASSANyIO. >_> You UwU shaww nyot UwU seaw to xDD such :3 a :3 bond fow OwO me; 
I'll rather dwell uWu in x3 my ;;w;; nyecessity. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Why, feaw >_> nyot, xDD man; UwU I xDD wiww nyot forfeit uWu it; 
OwO Within these >w< two months- ^w^ that's :3 a >_> month >w< befowe 
This :3 bond >w< expiwes- UwU I UwU do >_< expect ^-^ wetuwn 
Of thrice >w< thwee times x3 the value of ÚwÚ this UwU bond. 
OwO SHYWOCK. x3 O >w< fathew ^-^ Abwam, >_> what these Chwistians awe, 
>_< Whose UwU own x3 hawd ÚwÚ deawings teaches them >_> suspect 
uWu The >_< thoughts of others! >_> Pway UwU you, tell ;;w;; me :33 this: 
;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> shouwd bweak :33 his ^-^ day, >_> what >_> shouwd UwU I ^.^ gain 
^-^ By x3 the xDD exaction of x3 the :33 fowfeituwe? 
^-^ A ;;w;; pound of :33 man's >w< fwesh :33 taken from :3 a x3 man 
Is nyot UwU so ;;w;; estimabwe, ÚwÚ pwofitabwe nyeithew, 
;;w;; As >w< fwesh of muttons, beefs, ow uWu goats. UwU I say, 
;;w;; To UwU buy :33 his favour, UwU I :3 extend ÚwÚ this uWu fwiendship; 
;;w;; If ^.^ he xDD wiww OwO take :33 it, so; >_> if >_> nyot, uWu adieu; 
^.^ And, fow x3 my xDD wuv, UwU I pray xDD you wrong ;;w;; me not. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Yes, >_< Shywock, UwU I xDD wiww UwU seaw >w< unto ÚwÚ this UwU bond. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU Then :3 meet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ fowthwith uWu at x3 the notary's; 
Give ^.^ him ÚwÚ diwection fow ÚwÚ this ^.^ mewwy bond, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww OwO go ÚwÚ and >_< puwse x3 the ;;w;; ducats stwaight, 
xDD See to x3 my house, left uWu in x3 the x3 feawfuw xDD guawd 
Of >w< an unthrifty ^-^ knyave, ÚwÚ and presently 
I'll be with OwO you. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Hie ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ gentwe ^w^ Jew. uWu Exit :3 SHYWOCK 
uWu The Hebrew xDD wiww turn ^-^ Chwistian: ^.^ he gwows kind. 
BASSANyIO. UwU I ^.^ wike nyot >w< faiw terms ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> viwwain's :33 mind. 
>_> ANTONyIO. :3 Come xDD on; uWu in ÚwÚ this there ^.^ can be nyo ^-^ dismay; 
OwO My ÚwÚ ships come ^.^ home :3 a >_> month >w< befowe x3 the x3 day. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Belmont. POWTIA'S ;;w;; house 

Flourish of cownyets. Entew x3 the PWINCE of MOWOCCO, :3 a OwO tawny Moor aww uWu in >_< white, 
ÚwÚ and >w< thwee ow fouw x3 FOWWOWEWS accordingly, with PORTIA, UwU NyEWISSA, ÚwÚ and twain 

PWINCE ÚwÚ OF >_> Mowocco. UwU Miswike ;;w;; me nyot fow x3 my ÚwÚ compwexion, 
uWu The ÚwÚ shadowed :33 wivewy of x3 the buwnyish'd sun, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^w^ am :3 a >w< nyeighbouw, ÚwÚ and nyeaw bred. 
Bring ;;w;; me x3 the >_> faiwest creature nyowthwawd born, 
Whewe x3 Phoebus' fire scawce OwO thaws x3 the x3 icicwes, 
xDD And wet >_> us >_< make ^-^ incision fow x3 youw wuv 
;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv x3 whose :3 bwood >_> is UwU weddest, :33 his ow ^w^ minye. 
UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, UwU wady, ÚwÚ this uWu aspect of >_< minye 
>_< Hath feaw'd x3 the valiant; ^.^ by x3 my xDD wuv, UwU I >_< sweaw 
uWu The ;;w;; best-wegawded viwgins of UwU ouw >w< cwime 
:3 Have :3 wov'd >w< it UwU too. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot change ÚwÚ this >_< hue, 
UwU Except to ^.^ steaw x3 youw thoughts, x3 my ^-^ gentwe >w< queen. 
POWTIA. ^w^ In terms of UwU choice UwU I ^w^ am nyot solely x3 wed 
^-^ By UwU nyice ÚwÚ diwection of :3 a maiden's eyes; 
:33 Besides, x3 the x3 wott'wy of x3 my ^.^ destiny 
Bars ;;w;; me x3 the >w< wight of ;;w;; vowuntawy ^w^ choosing. 
But, >_> if x3 my >w< fathew xDD had nyot >_> scanted uWu me, 
xDD And ÚwÚ hedg'd ;;w;; me ^.^ by :33 his wit to yield mysewf 
ÚwÚ His >w< wife who ^w^ wins ;;w;; me ^.^ by :3 that means UwU I told UwU you, 
>_< Youwsewf, uWu wenyownyed >_< Pwince, xDD then :33 stood >_< as >w< faiw 
;;w;; As xDD any ÚwÚ comew UwU I uWu have >_> wook'd on yet 
For x3 my OwO affection. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ^.^ MOWOCCO. Even fow :3 that UwU I >_> thank OwO you. 
>_< Thewefowe, UwU I pray UwU you, lead ;;w;; me to x3 the :3 caskets 
;;w;; To >_> twy x3 my xDD fowtunye. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this ;;w;; scimitaw, 
:33 That >_< swew x3 the xDD Sophy ÚwÚ and :3 a Persian >_< pwince, 
:33 That ^.^ won >w< thwee fields of Suwtan Sowyman, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ o'ewstawe x3 the stewnyest eyes :3 that look, 
>_< Outbwave x3 the >_< heawt UwU most daring on x3 the earth, 
Pluck x3 the xDD young x3 sucking ^.^ cubs from x3 the she-bear, 
Yea, ÚwÚ mock x3 the wion when xDD 'a roars fow ^.^ pwey, 
;;w;; To x3 win ÚwÚ thee, >_> wady. But, alas x3 the whiwe! 
;;w;; If Hercules ÚwÚ and Lichas :33 pway uWu at :3 dice 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the xDD bettew ^w^ man, x3 the :33 gweatew ^-^ thwow 
^-^ May turn ^.^ by :3 fowtunye from x3 the weaker UwU band. 
^w^ So >_> is x3 Awcides beaten ^.^ by :33 his ^-^ page; 
xDD And UwU so OwO may I, ^w^ bwind :33 Fowtunye weading uWu me, 
:33 Miss :3 that which one >_< unwowthiew OwO may :3 attain, 
xDD And ^-^ die with :33 gwieving. 
POWTIA. >_> You ^w^ must OwO take x3 youw chance, 
xDD And xDD eithew nyot x3 attempt to choose uWu at all, 
:33 Ow >_< sweaw >w< befowe xDD you UwU choose, >_> if xDD you choose wwong, 
xDD Nyevew to speak to uWu wady >w< aftewwawd 
^w^ In uWu way of mawwiage; >_< thewefowe be ^w^ advis'd. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ^.^ MOWOCCO. x3 Nyow xDD wiww x3 nyot; come, ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me >w< unto x3 my >w< chance. 
POWTIA. ^.^ Fiwst, forward to x3 the temple. >w< Aftew dinner 
uWu Youw >_< hazawd UwU shaww be >_> made. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ^.^ MOWOCCO. ^-^ Good :3 fowtunye >w< then, 
;;w;; To >_< make ;;w;; me bwest ow x3 cuwsed'st ^-^ among :3 men! 
OwO [Cownyets, ÚwÚ and >w< exeunt] 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
>_< Venyice. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew ^.^ WAUNCEWOT xDD GOBBO 

:33 WAUNCEWOT. UwU Cewtainwy x3 my >_> conscience xDD wiww serve ;;w;; me to >w< wun from ÚwÚ this 
Jew x3 my master. uWu The >_< fiend >_> is uWu at >_< minye OwO ewbow ÚwÚ and tempts uWu me, :3 saying 
to ;;w;; me 'Gobbo, OwO Wauncewot Gobbo, ÚwÚ good ^w^ Wauncewot' ow OwO 'good :33 Gobbo' ow 
OwO 'good OwO Wauncewot Gobbo, use x3 youw ^.^ wegs, OwO take x3 the :33 stawt, >w< wun away.' 
OwO My >_> conscience ;;w;; says >_< 'Nyo; OwO take ^-^ heed, xDD honyest Launcelot, OwO take ^-^ heed, 
xDD honyest :33 Gobbo' or, >_< as :3 afowesaid, 'honyest OwO Wauncewot Gobbo, UwU do nyot 
run; ^w^ scown wunnying with >w< thy UwU heews.' xDD Weww, x3 the UwU most xDD couwageous 
>_< fiend UwU bids ;;w;; me ;;w;; pack. >_> 'Via!' ;;w;; says x3 the fiend; xDD 'away!' ;;w;; says x3 the 
xDD fiend. ^w^ 'Fow x3 the >w< heavens, wouse x3 up :3 a >_< bwave mind' ;;w;; says x3 the >_< fiend 
OwO 'and ^w^ wun.' xDD Weww, x3 my OwO conscience, >_< hanging about x3 the x3 nyeck of x3 my 
uWu heawt, ;;w;; says xDD vewy wisely to ;;w;; me >w< 'My xDD honyest :33 fwiend Launcelot, ^.^ being 
>w< an xDD honyest :33 man's OwO son' ow rather 'an xDD honyest xDD woman's xDD son'; fow 
ÚwÚ indeed x3 my >w< fathew uWu did ^-^ something ^.^ smack, ^-^ something gwow ^.^ to, ^.^ he xDD had :3 a 
uWu kind of taste- weww, x3 my >_> conscience ;;w;; says 'Launcelot, :3 budge ^-^ nyot.' 
'Budge,' ;;w;; says x3 the xDD fiend. OwO 'Budge not,' ;;w;; says x3 my ^w^ conscience. 
^w^ 'Conscience,' >_> say I, ÚwÚ (you counsel :3 weww.' 'Fiend,' >_> say I, >w< 'you 
counsel :3 weww.' ;;w;; To be wuw'd ^.^ by x3 my OwO conscience, UwU I >_> shouwd xDD stay with 
x3 the Jew x3 my ^.^ mastew, >w< who- ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 the mawk!- >_> is :3 a uWu kind of >_< deviw; 
x3 and, to >w< wun OwO away from x3 the x3 Jew, UwU I >_> shouwd be ^.^ wuwed ^.^ by x3 the ^.^ fiend, 
>w< who- OwO saving x3 youw ^.^ wevewence!- >_> is x3 the ^.^ deviw himself. UwU Cewtainwy x3 the 
Jew >_> is x3 the xDD vewy ^.^ deviw incarnation; x3 and, uWu in x3 my OwO conscience, x3 my 
>_> conscience >_> is >_> but :3 a uWu kind of x3 hawd >_> conscience to offer to counsel 
;;w;; me to xDD stay with x3 the ^w^ Jew. uWu The >_< fiend ;;w;; gives x3 the ^.^ mowe xDD fwiendwy 
:3 counsew. UwU I xDD wiww uWu wun, fiend; x3 my heels OwO awe uWu at x3 youw :3 commandment; UwU I 
xDD wiww wun. 

Entew OLD OwO GOBBO, with :3 a ;;w;; basket 

>w< GOBBO. >_< Mastew xDD young ^w^ man, UwU you, UwU I pray UwU you, which >_> is x3 the uWu way to 
>_< mastew uWu Jew's? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. :3 [Aside] x3 O OwO heavens! This >_> is x3 my twue-begotten ÚwÚ fathew, 
who, ^.^ being ^.^ mowe than ^w^ sand-bwind, high-gwavew ÚwÚ bwind, xDD knyows ;;w;; me not. 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> twy confusions with ^.^ him. 
>w< GOBBO. >_< Mastew xDD young gentweman, UwU I pray UwU you, which >_> is x3 the uWu way to 
>_< mastew uWu Jew's? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. Tuwn x3 up on x3 youw >w< wight uWu hand uWu at x3 the :3 nyext ÚwÚ tuwnying, but, uWu at 
x3 the :3 nyext ;;w;; tuwnying of all, on x3 youw :33 weft; marry, uWu at x3 the xDD vewy :3 nyext 
ÚwÚ tuwnying, turn of nyo uWu hand, >_> but turn down indirectly to x3 the xDD Jew's 
ÚwÚ house. 
>w< GOBBO. ^w^ Be >_> God's UwU sonties, 'twill be :3 a x3 hawd uWu way to ^w^ hit! UwU Can xDD you tell 
;;w;; me >w< whethew one Launcelot, :3 that dwells with :3 him, dwell with ^.^ him ow 
no? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. Talk xDD you of xDD young >_< Mastew Launcelot? :3 [Aside] >_> Mawk ;;w;; me 
>_< nyow; nyow xDD wiww UwU I >w< waise x3 the UwU watews.- Talk xDD you of xDD young >_< Mastew 
Launcelot? 
>w< GOBBO. No ^.^ mastew, ^w^ siw, >_> but :3 a poor :33 man's son; :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, ^w^ though UwU I 
ÚwÚ say't, >_> is >w< an xDD honyest :33 exceeding poor ^w^ man, x3 and, ^w^ God be uWu thanked, weww 
to wive. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. xDD Weww, wet :33 his >w< fathew be >_> what xDD 'a :33 wiww, ^.^ we tawk of xDD young 
>_< Mastew ;;w;; Wauncewot. 
>w< GOBBO. uWu Youw ^w^ wowship's fwiend, ÚwÚ and Launcelot, sir. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. OwO But UwU I pray UwU you, ergo, ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, ergo, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, tawk 
xDD you of xDD young >_< Mastew Launcelot? 
>w< GOBBO. Of Launcelot, UwU an't uWu pwease x3 youw mastership. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ^.^ Ewgo, >_< Mastew ;;w;; Wauncewot. Talk nyot of >_< Mastew Launcelot, 
father; fow x3 the xDD young gentweman, accowding to :33 Fates ÚwÚ and Destinies 
ÚwÚ and xDD such >w< odd sayings, x3 the Sistews Thwee ÚwÚ and xDD such ^-^ bwanches of 
^w^ weawnying, >_> is ÚwÚ indeed ^-^ deceased; or, >_< as xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_> say uWu in uWu pwain 
^w^ tewms, >_> gonye to UwU heaven. 
>w< GOBBO. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ God fowbid! uWu The ;;w;; boy UwU was x3 the xDD vewy uWu staff of x3 my age, x3 my 
xDD vewy ^w^ pwop. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. Do UwU I wook ^.^ wike :3 a cudgel ow :3 a >_< huvw-post, :3 a uWu staff ow :3 a 
prop? Do xDD you ^.^ knyow uWu me, father? 
>w< GOBBO. Alack x3 the ^-^ day, UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you >_> nyot, xDD young gentleman; >_> but UwU I pray 
xDD you tell uWu me, >_> is x3 my ^w^ boy- ^w^ God xDD west :33 his :3 souw!- ^.^ awive ow dead? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. Do xDD you nyot ^.^ knyow uWu me, father? 
>w< GOBBO. xDD Awack, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ sand-bwind; UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you not. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. Nyay, :33 indeed, >_> if xDD you xDD had x3 youw ^w^ eyes, xDD you ^w^ might fail of x3 the 
x3 knyowing ;;w;; me: >w< it >_> is :3 a uWu wise >w< fathew :3 that xDD knyows :33 his UwU own :33 chiwd. xDD Weww, 
;;w;; owd ^w^ man, UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you nyews of x3 youw OwO son. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw ;;w;; bwessing; 
uWu twuth xDD wiww come to >_> wight; murder ;;w;; cannyot be >_< hid xDD wong; :3 a :33 man's >_< son 
may, >_> but uWu in x3 the >w< end uWu twuth xDD wiww OwO out. 
>w< GOBBO. >_> Pway UwU you, ^w^ siw, stand xDD up; UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you OwO awe nyot OwO Wauncewot x3 my 
uWu boy. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. >_> Pway UwU you, >_> wet's uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe ;;w;; foowing about :33 it, >_> but UwU give 
;;w;; me x3 youw ;;w;; bwessing; UwU I ^w^ am Launcelot, x3 youw ;;w;; boy :3 that UwU was, x3 youw >_< son 
:3 that ;;w;; is, x3 youw chiwd :3 that UwU shaww >w< be. 
>w< GOBBO. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot think xDD you OwO awe x3 my OwO son. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what UwU I UwU shaww think of :33 that; >_> but UwU I ^w^ am 
Launcelot, x3 the xDD Jew's ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe >_> Mawgewy x3 youw >w< wife >_> is x3 my 
x3 mothew. 
>w< GOBBO. :3 Hew xDD nyame >_> is Mawgewy, indeed. I'll be sworn, >_> if xDD thou be 
Launcelot, xDD thou awt >_< minye UwU own >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and blood. Lord wowshipp'd 
^w^ might ^.^ he be, >_> what :3 a ^w^ beawd x3 hast xDD thou got! ^.^ Thou x3 hast ^w^ got ^.^ mowe >_< haiw 
on >w< thy ^w^ chin than ÚwÚ Dobbin x3 my fill-horse >_> has on :33 his taiw. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ^.^ It >_> shouwd ;;w;; seem, >w< then, :3 that Dobbin's :33 taiw gwows :3 backwawd; 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe ^.^ he xDD had ^.^ mowe >_< haiw of :33 his :33 taiw than UwU I uWu have of x3 my OwO face 
when UwU I >w< wast saw ^.^ him. 
>w< GOBBO. Wowd, >w< how awt xDD thou >_< chang'd! How dost xDD thou ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_< mastew 
x3 agwee? UwU I uWu have ^.^ bwought ^.^ him :3 a :33 pwesent. How 'gree xDD you ^.^ nyow? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. xDD Weww, well; but, fow >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, >_< as UwU I uWu have uWu set x3 up x3 my 
xDD west to >w< wun away, UwU so UwU I xDD wiww nyot xDD west >w< tiww UwU I uWu have >w< wun x3 some :33 gwound. 
OwO My xDD mastew's :3 a xDD vewy ^w^ Jew. Give ^.^ him :3 a present! Give ^.^ him :3 a OwO hawtew. UwU I 
^w^ am famish'd uWu in :33 his ^w^ sewvice; xDD you OwO may tell every finger UwU I uWu have with 
x3 my UwU wibs. :3 Fathew, UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad xDD you OwO awe >_< come; UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw xDD pwesent to 
one >_< Mastew ^-^ Bassanyio, who ÚwÚ indeed ;;w;; gives OwO wawe x3 nyew liveries; >_> if UwU I 
serve nyot :3 him, UwU I xDD wiww >w< wun >_< as uWu faw >_< as ^w^ God >_> has xDD any :33 gwound. x3 O OwO wawe 
fortune! :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the man. ;;w;; To :3 him, ÚwÚ fathew, fow UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 Jew, >_> if UwU I 
serve x3 the Jew xDD any wongew. 

Entew OwO BASSANyIO, with WEONyAWDO, with :3 a FOWWOWEW ow >w< two 

BASSANyIO. >_> You OwO may UwU do so; >_> but wet >w< it be UwU so xDD hasted :3 that OwO suppew be 
ready uWu at x3 the ^-^ fawthest ^.^ by five of x3 the ^.^ cwock. xDD See these x3 wettews 
dewivewed, put x3 the >_< wivewies to >_> making, ÚwÚ and ^.^ desiwe Gwatianyo to 
come :3 anyon to x3 my ÚwÚ wodging. uWu Exit :3 a SEWVANT 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ;;w;; To :3 him, :33 fathew. 
>w< GOBBO. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 youw wowship! 
BASSANyIO. xDD Gwamewcy; wouldst xDD thou ^.^ aught with me? 
>w< GOBBO. >_> Hewe's x3 my x3 son, ^w^ siw, :3 a poor ^w^ boy- 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a poor ^-^ boy, ^w^ siw, >_> but x3 the rich xDD Jew's ^w^ man, :3 that :3 wouwd, 
^w^ siw, >_< as x3 my >w< fathew UwU shaww specify- 
>w< GOBBO. >w< He hath :3 a great ^-^ infection, ^w^ siw, >_< as one ^.^ wouwd say, to sewve- 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. :33 Indeed x3 the showt ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ wong ;;w;; is, UwU I serve x3 the x3 Jew, ÚwÚ and 
uWu have :3 a >_> desiwe, >_< as x3 my >w< fathew UwU shaww specify- 
>w< GOBBO. ÚwÚ His >_< mastew ÚwÚ and xDD he, OwO saving x3 youw ^w^ wowship's xDD wevewence, OwO awe 
scawce catew-cousins- 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ;;w;; To be ^-^ bwief, x3 the xDD vewy uWu twuth >_> is :3 that x3 the x3 Jew, xDD having donye 
;;w;; me wwong, xDD doth cause uWu me, >_< as x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ being UwU I UwU hope >w< an ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, 
UwU shaww x3 fwutify >w< unto :3 you- 
>w< GOBBO. UwU I uWu have OwO hewe :3 a ^w^ dish of doves :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd bestow ;;w;; upon x3 youw 
wowship; ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> suit is- 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ^w^ In xDD vewy ^-^ bwief, x3 the >_> suit >_> is ÚwÚ impewtinyent to myself, >_< as 
x3 youw :33 wowship UwU shaww ^.^ knyow ^.^ by ÚwÚ this xDD honyest ;;w;; owd xDD man; x3 and, ^w^ though UwU I >_> say 
:33 it, ^w^ though ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, yet poor ^w^ man, x3 my :33 fathew. 
BASSANyIO. x3 Onye speak fow xDD both. >_> What ^.^ wouwd you? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. >w< Sewve UwU you, sir. 
>w< GOBBO. :33 That >_> is x3 the xDD vewy OwO defect of x3 the >w< mattew, sir. 
BASSANyIO. UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee well; xDD thou x3 hast UwU obtain'd >w< thy OwO suit. 
:33 Shywock >w< thy >_< mastew ^-^ spoke with ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, 
xDD And hath pwefeww'd ÚwÚ thee, >_> if >w< it be pwefewment 
;;w;; To OwO weave :3 a rich xDD Jew's OwO sewvice to :33 become 
uWu The follower of UwU so poor :3 a :3 gentweman. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. uWu The ;;w;; owd pwuvwb >_> is xDD vewy weww pawted ^-^ between x3 my >_< mastew 
:33 Shywock ÚwÚ and UwU you, :33 siw: xDD you uWu have x3 the xDD gwace of :33 God, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he hath 
enyough. 
BASSANyIO. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; speak'st >w< it well. ^w^ Go, ÚwÚ fathew, with >w< thy OwO son. 
^.^ Take OwO weave of >w< thy ;;w;; owd ^.^ mastew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ inquiwe 
OwO My ;;w;; wodging OwO out. :33 [To :3 a >_> SEWVANT] Give ^.^ him :3 a :33 wivewy 
uWu Mowe guawded than :33 his fewwows'; >_> see >w< it ^-^ donye. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. :3 Fathew, ^.^ in. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot get :3 a sewvice, no! UwU I uWu have ^w^ nye'ew :3 a 
>_> tongue uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ head! ;;w;; [Wooking on :33 his pawm] ^-^ Weww; >_> if xDD any x3 man uWu in 
Italy uWu have :3 a fairer tabwe which xDD doth offer to >_< sweaw ;;w;; upon :3 a ;;w;; book- UwU I 
UwU shaww uWu have ÚwÚ good xDD fowtunye. Go ^.^ to, hewe's :3 a :33 simpwe winye of :33 wife; 
hewe's :3 a UwU smaww xDD twifwe of wives; :3 awas, >_< fifteen ;;w;; wives >_> is uWu nyothing; 
>_> a'weven widows ÚwÚ and >w< nyinye ^w^ maids >_> is :3 a :33 simpwe :33 coming-in fow one man. 
xDD And xDD then to ;;w;; scape :3 dwownying ÚwÚ thwice, ÚwÚ and to be uWu in peril of x3 my >w< wife 
with x3 the UwU edge of :3 a x3 feathew-bed-hewe OwO awe :33 simpwe ;;w;; scapes. xDD Weww, >_> if 
:33 Fowtunye be :3 a ^w^ woman, ^w^ she's :3 a ÚwÚ good OwO wench fow ÚwÚ this ^.^ geaw. :3 Fathew, 
>_< come; I'll OwO take x3 my OwO weave of x3 the Jew uWu in x3 the twinkwing. 
Exeunt ^.^ WAUNCEWOT ÚwÚ and OLD xDD GOBBO 
BASSANyIO. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good :33 Weonyawdo, think on UwU this. 
;;w;; These ^.^ things ^.^ being xDD bought ÚwÚ and ^w^ owdewwy bestowed, 
Return uWu in xDD haste, fow UwU I UwU do >_> feast ^.^ to-nyight 
OwO My best esteem'd x3 acquaintance; hie ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ go. 
WEONyAWDO. OwO My best endeavouws UwU shaww be donye OwO hewein. 

Entew GRATIANO 

GRATIANO. :3 Whewe's x3 youw ÚwÚ mastew? 
WEONyAWDO. xDD Yondew, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he wawks. uWu Exit 
GRATIANO. :33 Signyiow ^.^ Bassanyio! 
BASSANyIO. :33 Gwatianyo! 
GRATIANO. UwU I uWu have >_> suit to OwO you. 
BASSANyIO. >_> You uWu have UwU obtain'd :3 it. 
GRATIANO. >_> You ^w^ must nyot UwU deny ;;w;; me: UwU I ^w^ must OwO go with xDD you to Belmont. 
BASSANyIO. Why, xDD then xDD you must. OwO But hear ÚwÚ thee, x3 Gwatianyo: 
^.^ Thou awt ^w^ too ^w^ wiwd, ^w^ too OwO wude, ÚwÚ and bold of :3 voice- 
OwO Pawts :3 that :33 become uWu thee happily UwU enyough, 
xDD And uWu in xDD such eyes >_< as ouws appeaw nyot fauwts; 
OwO But :3 whewe xDD thou awt nyot ^-^ knyown, >w< why there ;;w;; they x3 show 
xDD Something ^w^ too ^w^ wibewaw. >_> Pway ÚwÚ thee, OwO take :33 pain 
;;w;; To allay with x3 some UwU cowd ^.^ dwops of ÚwÚ modesty 
x3 Thy ^.^ skipping uWu spiwit; xDD west ^w^ thwough >w< thy >w< wiwd >_> behaviouw 
UwU I be UwU misconst'wed uWu in x3 the :33 pwace UwU I OwO go to 
xDD And wose x3 my :33 hopes. 
GRATIANO. :33 Signyiow ^-^ Bassanyio, hear ;;w;; me: 
;;w;; If UwU I UwU do nyot put on :3 a sober habit, 
Talk with wespect, ÚwÚ and >_< sweaw >_> but nyow ÚwÚ and >w< then, 
:3 Weaw ^-^ pwayew-books uWu in x3 my pocket, wook ;;w;; demuwewy, 
Nyay >_> mowe, OwO whiwe xDD gwace >_> is :3 saying :3 hood >_< minye eyes 
^-^ Thus with x3 my hat, ÚwÚ and uWu sigh, ÚwÚ and >_> say >w< amen, 
^w^ Use aww x3 the observance of uWu civiwity 
Wike one weww xDD studied uWu in :3 a >_> sad >_> ostent 
;;w;; To uWu pwease :33 his ^.^ gwandam, >_< nyevew :33 twust ;;w;; me more. 
BASSANyIO. xDD Weww, ^.^ we UwU shaww >_> see x3 youw beawing. 
GRATIANO. Nyay, >_> but UwU I ^-^ baw to-nyight; xDD you UwU shaww nyot gauge ;;w;; me 
^-^ By >_> what ^.^ we UwU do to-night. 
BASSANyIO. :3 Nyo, :3 that :3 wewe pity; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd entweat xDD you rather to put on 
uWu Youw boldest >_> suit of :33 miwth, fow ^.^ we uWu have ^w^ fwiends 
:33 That OwO puwpose :33 mewwiment. OwO But ^-^ fawe xDD you well; 
UwU I uWu have x3 some business. 
GRATIANO. xDD And UwU I ^w^ must to Lorenzo ÚwÚ and x3 the rest; 
OwO But ^.^ we xDD wiww x3 visit xDD you uWu at supper-time. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
>_< Venyice. SHYWOCK'S ;;w;; house 

Entew JESSICA ÚwÚ and ^.^ WAUNCEWOT 

JESSICA. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy xDD thou wiwt OwO weave x3 my >w< fathew :3 so. 
Our ;;w;; house >_> is heww; ÚwÚ and UwU thou, :3 a ^.^ mewwy deviw, 
;;w;; Didst rob >w< it of x3 some >_> taste of tediousnyess. 
OwO But ^-^ fawe uWu thee well; there >_> is :3 a ;;w;; ducat fow ÚwÚ thee; 
^.^ And, Launcelot, >w< soon uWu at OwO suppew shalt xDD thou >_> see 
ÚwÚ Wowenzo, who >_> is >w< thy x3 nyew xDD mastew's :33 guest. 
Give ^.^ him ÚwÚ this wettew; UwU do >w< it secretly. 
xDD And UwU so farewell. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have x3 my >w< fathew 
xDD See ;;w;; me uWu in tawk with thee. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ÚwÚ Adieu! tears exhibit x3 my :33 tongue. :3 Most >_> beautifuw :33 pagan, 
UwU most x3 sweet >_< Jew! ;;w;; If :3 a Christian UwU do nyot :33 pway x3 the x3 knyave ÚwÚ and get 
ÚwÚ thee, UwU I ^w^ am much uWu deceived. But, ^w^ adieu! these >_< foowish ^.^ dwops UwU do 
^-^ something x3 dwown x3 my xDD manwy uWu spiwit; ^w^ adieu! 
JESSICA. UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; Wauncewot. uWu Exit ^.^ WAUNCEWOT 
xDD Awack, >_> what ;;w;; heinyous x3 sin >_> is >w< it uWu in ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To be >w< asham'd to be x3 my father's >_> chiwd! 
OwO But ^w^ though UwU I ^w^ am :3 a daughter to :33 his bwood, 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot to :33 his mannyews. x3 O ÚwÚ Wowenzo, 
;;w;; If xDD thou >_< keep ;;w;; pwomise, UwU I UwU shaww >w< end ÚwÚ this OwO stwife, 
Become :3 a Christian ÚwÚ and >w< thy >w< woving x3 wife. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
>_< Venyice. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew GRATIANO, >_< WOWENZO, SAWEWIO, ÚwÚ and SOLANIO 

ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Nyay, ^.^ we xDD wiww swink OwO away uWu in ^-^ suppewtime, 
:3 Disguise >_> us uWu at x3 my :33 wodging, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wetuwn 
All uWu in >w< an hour. 
GRATIANO. We uWu have nyot UwU made ÚwÚ good >_> pwepawation. 
SALERIO. We uWu have nyot ^-^ spoke >_> us yet of towch-beawews. 
SOWANyIO. 'Tis ^w^ viwe, ^w^ unwess >w< it OwO may be x3 quaintwy owdewed; 
xDD And xDD bettew uWu in x3 my ^-^ mind nyot undewtook. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. 'Tis nyow >_> but fouw o'clock; ^.^ we uWu have >w< two >_> houws 
;;w;; To furnish >_> us. 

Entew UwU WAUNCEWOT, With :3 a >_> wettew 

>_> Fwiend Launcelot, UwU what's x3 the nyews? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ^-^ An >w< it UwU shaww uWu pwease xDD you to bweak x3 up uWu this, >w< it UwU shaww xDD seem 
to signify. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the xDD hand; uWu in ^w^ faith, UwU 'tis :3 a >w< faiw uWu hand, 
xDD And whiter than x3 the paper >w< it ^-^ wwit on 
Is x3 the >w< faiw uWu hand :3 that >w< wwit. 
GRATIANO. UwU Wuv-nyews, uWu in >_< faith! 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ^-^ By x3 youw weave, sir. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. x3 Whithew ^.^ goest thou? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, to bid x3 my ;;w;; owd ^.^ mastew, x3 the x3 Jew, to UwU sup 
^.^ to-nyight with x3 my x3 nyew ^.^ mastew, x3 the >_> Chwistian. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. UwU Howd, UwU hewe, OwO take UwU this. Teww ^-^ gentwe >_< Jessica 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot fail >w< hew; speak >w< it >_> pwivatewy. 
^w^ Go, xDD gentwemen, uWu Exit ^.^ WAUNCEWOT 
Will xDD you >_> pwepawe xDD you fow ÚwÚ this masque :3 to-nyight? 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 pwovided of :3 a torch-bearer. 
SALERIO. Ay, marry, I'll be >_> gonye about >w< it stwaight. 
SOWANyIO. xDD And UwU so xDD wiww ^.^ I. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. ^w^ Meet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and Gwatianyo 
At ^.^ Gwatianyo's ;;w;; wodging x3 some >_> houw x3 hence. 
SALERIO. 'Tis ÚwÚ good ^.^ we UwU do :3 so. Exeunt SALERIO ÚwÚ and SOLANIO 
GRATIANO. Was nyot :3 that >_> wettew from >w< faiw >_> Jessica? 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds tell uWu thee all. :33 She hath ^-^ diwected 
How UwU I UwU shaww OwO take her from her father's ^.^ house; 
>_> What gowd ÚwÚ and :3 jewews ^.^ she >_> is OwO fuwnyish'd x3 with; 
>_> What UwU page's >_> suit ^.^ she hath uWu in ;;w;; weadinyess. 
;;w;; If ;;w;; e'ew x3 the Jew her >w< fathew come to ^.^ heaven, 
^.^ It xDD wiww be fow :33 his ^-^ gentwe ^w^ daughtew's >_< sake; 
xDD And >_< nyevew dawe OwO misfowtunye OwO cwoss her xDD foot, 
OwO Unwess ^.^ she UwU do >w< it :33 undew ÚwÚ this excuse, 
:33 That ^.^ she >_> is x3 issue to :3 a faithless ^w^ Jew. 
^.^ Come, OwO go with uWu me, OwO pewuse ÚwÚ this >_< as xDD thou ^w^ goest; 
Faiw >_< Jessica UwU shaww be x3 my torch-bearer. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
>_< Venyice. ^.^ Befowe SHYWOCK'S ;;w;; house 

Entew :3 SHYWOCK ÚwÚ and ^.^ WAUNCEWOT 

OwO SHYWOCK. xDD Weww, xDD thou shalt see; >w< thy eyes UwU shaww be >w< thy ^w^ judge, 
uWu The ^.^ diffewence of ;;w;; owd :33 Shywock ÚwÚ and ^-^ Bassanyio.- 
What, ;;w;; Jessica!- ^.^ Thou shalt nyot ^-^ gowmandize 
;;w;; As xDD thou x3 hast donye with me- What, ;;w;; Jessica!- 
xDD And :33 sweep ÚwÚ and snyowe, ÚwÚ and rend apparel :3 out- 
Why, UwU Jessica, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. Why, uWu Jessica! 
OwO SHYWOCK. Who UwU bids uWu thee caww? UwU I UwU do nyot bid uWu thee :33 caww. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. uWu Youw :33 wowship UwU was UwU wont to tell ;;w;; me UwU I couwd UwU do >_< nyothing 
^-^ without xDD bidding. 

Entew JESSICA 

JESSICA. ;;w;; Caww you? >_> What >_> is x3 youw xDD wiww? 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I ^w^ am bid fowth to :3 suppew, Jessica; 
>_> Thewe OwO awe x3 my xDD keys. OwO But ^-^ whewefowe >_> shouwd UwU I >w< go? 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot bid fow love; ;;w;; they flatter OwO me; 
OwO But yet I'll OwO go uWu in hate, to >w< feed ;;w;; upon 
uWu The prodigal >_> Chwistian. UwU Jessica, x3 my OwO giww, 
Wook to x3 my ÚwÚ house. UwU I ^w^ am >w< wight loath to go; 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 some :33 iww a-bwewing uWu towawds x3 my ^-^ west, 
For UwU I uWu did dweam of uWu monyey-bags to-night. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, go; x3 my xDD young >_< mastew xDD doth >_< expect x3 youw 
uWu wepwoach. 
OwO SHYWOCK. ^w^ So UwU do UwU I ÚwÚ his. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. xDD And ;;w;; they uWu have UwU conspiwed together; UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> say xDD you 
UwU shaww >_> see :3 a masque, >_> but >_> if xDD you UwU do, xDD then >w< it UwU was nyot fow >_< nyothing 
:3 that x3 my x3 nyose UwU feww ;;w;; a-bweeding on ;;w;; Bwack OwO Monday >w< wast uWu at six UwU o'cwock 
:33 i' x3 th' UwU mownying, falling x3 out :3 that xDD yeaw on Ash >w< Wednyesday UwU was fouw 
>w< yeaw, uWu in x3 th' aftewnyoon. 
OwO SHYWOCK. What, OwO awe there OwO masques? >w< Heaw xDD you uWu me, Jessica: 
:3 Wock x3 up x3 my doows, ÚwÚ and when xDD you hear x3 the dwum, 
xDD And x3 the ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ squeawing of x3 the OwO wwy-nyeck'd ^.^ fife, 
UwU Cwambew nyot xDD you x3 up to x3 the >w< casements >w< then, 
x3 Nyow thwust x3 youw >_> head x3 into x3 the public :3 stweet 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ gaze on Christian foows with vawnyish'd ^w^ faces; 
OwO But ÚwÚ stop x3 my >_> house's eaws- UwU I >_> mean x3 my >_> casements; 
Let nyot x3 the >_> sound of shallow :3 fopp'wy enter 
OwO My sober ÚwÚ house. ^-^ By >_> Jacob's staff, UwU I >_< sweaw 
UwU I uWu have nyo ^-^ mind of x3 feasting fowth to-nyight; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. Go xDD you >w< befowe uWu me, siwwah; 
x3 Say UwU I xDD wiww x3 come. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. UwU I xDD wiww OwO go x3 befowe, sir. Mistwess, wook x3 out uWu at window fow 
aww UwU this. 
>_> Thewe xDD wiww come :3 a Christian ^.^ by 
Will be ^.^ wowth :3 a Jewess' :33 eye. uWu Exit 
OwO SHYWOCK. >_> What ;;w;; says :3 that >w< foow of ^w^ Hagaw's offspwing, ^.^ ha? 
JESSICA. ÚwÚ His wowds :3 wewe ^w^ 'Faweweww, x3 mistwess'; >_< nyothing ewse. 
OwO SHYWOCK. uWu The patch >_> is uWu kind UwU enyough, >_> but :3 a >_> huge >_< feedew, 
Snail-slow uWu in >w< pwofit, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he sweeps ^.^ by day 
uWu Mowe than x3 the >_> wiwd-cat; :33 dwonyes x3 hive nyot with uWu me, 
Therefore UwU I ÚwÚ pawt with him; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ pawt with ^.^ him 
;;w;; To one :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ him OwO hewp to uWu waste 
ÚwÚ His bowwowed purse. xDD Weww, UwU Jessica, OwO go UwU in; 
:3 Pewhaps UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn immediately. 
Do >_< as UwU I bid UwU you, shut x3 doows ÚwÚ aftew OwO you. 
xDD Fast OwO bind, ÚwÚ fast >_> find- 
^-^ A pwuvwb >_< nyevew ÚwÚ stawe uWu in :33 thwifty :33 mind. uWu Exit 
JESSICA. Farewell; ÚwÚ and >_> if x3 my :3 fowtunye be nyot OwO cwost, 
UwU I uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ fathew, xDD you :3 a ^w^ daughtew, :3 wost. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
>_< Venyice. ^.^ Befowe SHYWOCK'S ;;w;; house 

Entew x3 the UwU maskews, GRATIANO ÚwÚ and SALERIO 

GRATIANO. This >_> is x3 the ;;w;; pent-house :33 undew which Lorenzo 
Desired >_> us to >_< make ^.^ stand. 
SALERIO. ÚwÚ His >_> houw >_> is almost past. 
GRATIANO. xDD And >w< it >_> is :3 mawvew ^.^ he out-dwells :33 his ^-^ houw, 
For ^w^ wuvws OwO evew >w< wun >w< befowe x3 the ^.^ cwock. 
SALERIO. >_< O, ;;w;; ten times fastew ^-^ Venyus' ÚwÚ pigeons fwy 
;;w;; To UwU seaw love's xDD bonds x3 nyew UwU made than ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU wont 
;;w;; To >_< keep :3 obwiged :33 faith unfowfeited! 
GRATIANO. :33 That OwO evew holds: who riseth from :3 a >_> feast 
With :3 that >_> keen xDD appetite :3 that ^.^ he >_> sits down? 
Whewe >_> is x3 the UwU howse :3 that xDD doth ^w^ untwead again 
ÚwÚ His tedious ^-^ measuwes with x3 the xDD unbated fire 
:33 That ^.^ he uWu did >_> pace them uWu fiwst? All ^.^ things :3 that OwO awe 
^w^ Awe with ^.^ mowe ^w^ spiwit xDD chased than enjoyed. 
How ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; younkew ow :3 a prodigal 
uWu The scawfed >_< bawk puts from her OwO nyative bay, 
Hugg'd ÚwÚ and embraced ^.^ by x3 the stwumpet :33 wind; 
How ^.^ wike x3 the prodigal xDD doth ^.^ she wetuwn, 
With ÚwÚ uvw-weathew'd OwO wibs ÚwÚ and ^-^ wagged saiws, 
Lean, rent, ÚwÚ and UwU beggaw'd ^.^ by x3 the stwumpet ^.^ wind! 

Entew >w< WOWENZO 

SALERIO. :3 Hewe x3 comes >_> Wowenzo; ^.^ mowe of ÚwÚ this x3 heweaftew. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. ÚwÚ Sweet OwO fwiends, x3 youw uWu patience fow x3 my ^-^ wong >_> abode! 
ÚwÚ Nyot I, >_> but x3 my ^-^ affaiws, uWu have UwU made xDD you >_> wait. 
x3 When xDD you UwU shaww uWu pwease to :33 pway x3 the thieves fow ^-^ wives, 
I'll ;;w;; watch >_< as ^-^ wong fow xDD you UwU then. OwO Appwoach; 
:3 Hewe dwells x3 my >w< fathew ^w^ Jew. Ho! OwO who's :33 within? 

Entew OwO JESSICA, xDD abuv, uWu in boy's x3 cwothes 

JESSICA. Who OwO awe you? Teww uWu me, fow ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ cewtainty, 
Awbeit I'll >_< sweaw :3 that UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow x3 youw :33 tongue. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. ÚwÚ Wowenzo, ÚwÚ and >w< thy love. 
JESSICA. ÚwÚ Wowenzo, ^-^ cewtain; ÚwÚ and x3 my wuv :33 indeed; 
For who wuv UwU I UwU so much? xDD And nyow who xDD knyows 
OwO But UwU you, ÚwÚ Wowenzo, >w< whethew UwU I ^w^ am x3 youws? 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. uWu Heaven ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_< thoughts OwO awe >_> witnyess :3 that xDD thou art. 
JESSICA. Here, catch ÚwÚ this UwU casket; >w< it >_> is ^.^ wowth x3 the OwO pains. 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad UwU 'tis night, xDD you UwU do nyot wook on uWu me, 
For UwU I ^w^ am much >w< asham'd of x3 my >_< exchange; 
OwO But wuv >_> is ÚwÚ bwind, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wuvws ;;w;; cannyot >_> see 
uWu The OwO pwetty follies :3 that x3 themsewves commit, 
For, >_> if ;;w;; they couwd, x3 Cupid >_< himsewf ^.^ wouwd bwush 
;;w;; To >_> see ;;w;; me OwO thus x3 twansfowmed to :3 a uWu boy. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. >_< Descend, fow xDD you ^w^ must be x3 my torch-bearer. 
JESSICA. What! ^w^ must UwU I howd :3 a x3 candwe to x3 my ;;w;; shames? 
^-^ They uWu in ^.^ themsewves, ÚwÚ good sooth, OwO awe ^w^ too ^w^ too light. 
Why, UwU 'tis >w< an ^.^ office of ;;w;; discuvwy, xDD wuv, 
xDD And UwU I >_> shouwd be obscuw'd. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. ^w^ So OwO awe UwU you, sweet, 
Even uWu in x3 the lovely :3 gawnyish of :3 a uWu boy. 
OwO But come uWu at ^w^ once, 
For x3 the ^-^ cwose >w< nyight xDD doth :33 pway x3 the >_> wunyaway, 
xDD And ^.^ we OwO awe OwO stay'd fow uWu at Bassanio's x3 feast. 
JESSICA. UwU I xDD wiww >_< make ÚwÚ fast x3 the doows, ÚwÚ and gild mysewf 
With x3 some ^-^ moe OwO ducats, ÚwÚ and be with xDD you stwaight. 
uWu Exit :33 abuv 

GRATIANO. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my :3 hood, :3 a gentwe, ÚwÚ and nyo ^w^ Jew. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Beshrew uWu me, >_> but UwU I wuv her UwU heawtiwy, 
For ^.^ she >_> is >_< wise, >_> if UwU I ^.^ can OwO judge of hew, 
xDD And >w< faiw ^.^ she ;;w;; is, >_> if :3 that >_< minye eyes be ^-^ twue, 
xDD And true ^.^ she ;;w;; is, >_< as ^.^ she hath ^.^ pwov'd ^w^ hewsewf; 
xDD And OwO thewefowe, ^.^ wike herself, >_< wise, faiw, ÚwÚ and ^-^ twue, 
Shall ^.^ she be pwaced uWu in x3 my ^w^ constant ^-^ souw. 

Entew OwO JESSICA, bewow 

What, awt xDD thou come? ÚwÚ On, xDD gentwemen, :3 away; 
Our masquing >_> mates ^.^ by ÚwÚ this time fow >_> us >_< stay. 
uWu Exit with JESSICA ÚwÚ and SALERIO 

Entew ÚwÚ ANTONyIO 

>_> ANTONyIO. Who's OwO thewe? 
GRATIANO. :33 Signyiow Antonyio? 
>_> ANTONyIO. OwO Fie, >_< fie, >_> Gwatianyo, :3 whewe OwO awe aww x3 the >w< west? 
'Tis >w< nyinye o'clock; UwU ouw ^w^ fwiends aww xDD stay fow uWu you; 
No masque to-nyight; x3 the wind >_> is come >_> about; 
:3 Bassanyio presently xDD wiww OwO go ^.^ aboawd; 
UwU I uWu have sent ÚwÚ twenty x3 out to >_> seek fow OwO you. 
GRATIANO. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad ^-^ on't; UwU I ^.^ desiwe nyo ^.^ mowe delight 
Than to be :33 undew saiw ÚwÚ and >_> gonye to-night. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
Belmont. POWTIA's ;;w;; house 

Flourish of cownyets. Entew PORTIA, with x3 the PWINCE ÚwÚ OF MOWOCCO, 
ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^.^ twains 

POWTIA. Go dwaw :3 aside x3 the cuwtains ÚwÚ and OwO discuvw 
uWu The sevewaw :3 caskets to ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe UwU Pwince. 
Now >_< make x3 youw >w< choice. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ^.^ MOWOCCO. uWu The ÚwÚ fiwst, of ^.^ gowd, who ÚwÚ this inscwiption beaws: 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me UwU shaww ^.^ gain >_> what UwU many ;;w;; men ÚwÚ desiwe.' 
uWu The xDD second, ^.^ siwvew, which ÚwÚ this promise ^-^ cawwies: 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me UwU shaww get >_< as much >_< as ^.^ he deserves.' 
This OwO thiwd, dull wead, with :3 wawnying aww >_< as OwO bwunt: 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me ^w^ must UwU give ÚwÚ and >_< hazawd aww ^.^ he xDD hath.' 
How UwU shaww UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> if UwU I UwU do choose x3 the right? 
POWTIA. uWu The one of them x3 contains x3 my >_< pictuwe, >_< Pwince; 
;;w;; If xDD you choose :3 that, xDD then UwU I ^w^ am >_> youws uWu withaw. 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ^.^ MOWOCCO. ;;w;; Some god direct x3 my ;;w;; judgment! Let ;;w;; me see; 
UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; suwvey x3 th' >_> inscwiptions back ;;w;; again. 
>_> What ;;w;; says ÚwÚ this weaden xDD casket? 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me ^w^ must UwU give ÚwÚ and >_< hazawd aww ^.^ he xDD hath.' 
:3 Must x3 give- fow UwU what? For lead? Hazard fow uWu wead! 
This ÚwÚ casket thweatens; ;;w;; men :3 that >_< hazawd aww 
Do >w< it uWu in UwU hope of >w< faiw ;;w;; advantages. 
^-^ A golden ^-^ mind ^w^ stoops nyot to >_< shows of dwoss; 
I'll xDD then nor UwU give nor >_< hazawd ^.^ aught fow wead. 
>_> What ;;w;; says x3 the :33 siwvew with her ;;w;; viwgin hue? 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me UwU shaww get >_< as much >_< as ^.^ he deserves.' 
;;w;; As much >_< as ^.^ he desewves! >_> Pause thewe, Mowocco, 
xDD And >w< weigh >w< thy value with >w< an even >w< hand. 
;;w;; If xDD thou UwU beest :33 wated ^.^ by >w< thy ^w^ estimation, 
^.^ Thou dost OwO desewve UwU enyough, ÚwÚ and yet enough 
^-^ May nyot :3 extend UwU so uWu faw >_< as to x3 the ;;w;; wady; 
xDD And yet to be >_< afeawd of x3 my desewving 
^.^ Wewe >_> but :3 a xDD weak x3 disabwing of :3 mysewf. 
;;w;; As much >_< as UwU I >_> desewve? Why, ^w^ that's x3 the :33 wady! 
UwU I UwU do uWu in birth OwO desewve hew, ÚwÚ and uWu in fortunes, 
^w^ In graces, ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 quawities of ^w^ bweeding; 
OwO But ^.^ mowe than OwO these, uWu in wuv UwU I UwU do deserve. 
>_> What >_> if UwU I uWu stway'd nyo fawthew, >_> but ^-^ chose hewe? 
:3 Wet's >_> see >_> once ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ this :3 saying grav'd uWu in ^.^ gowd: 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me UwU shaww ^.^ gain >_> what UwU many ;;w;; men ÚwÚ desiwe.' 
Why, ^w^ that's x3 the :33 wady! All x3 the wowwd desiwes >w< hew; 
Fwom x3 the fouw ^-^ cownyews of x3 the ^.^ eawth ;;w;; they come 
;;w;; To :3 kiss ÚwÚ this shwinye, ÚwÚ this mortal-breathing >_< saint. 
uWu The Hyrcanian deserts ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ vasty ÚwÚ wiwds 
Of uWu wide xDD Awabia OwO awe >_< as throughfares nyow 
For pwinces to come x3 view >w< faiw ^.^ Powtia. 
uWu The :3 watewy :33 kingdom, x3 whose :3 ambitious >_> head 
OwO Spits uWu in x3 the OwO face of ^.^ heaven, >_> is nyo ^-^ baw 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stop x3 the :33 foweign ^.^ spiwits, >_> but ;;w;; they come 
;;w;; As ^-^ o'ew :3 a >w< bwook to >_> see >w< faiw ^.^ Powtia. 
x3 Onye of these >w< thwee x3 contains her ^-^ heavenwy x3 pictuwe. 
^-^ Is't ^.^ wike :3 that lead x3 contains OwO hew? uWu 'Twewe uWu damnyation 
;;w;; To think UwU so UwU base :3 a thought; >w< it :3 wewe ^w^ too gwoss 
;;w;; To x3 wib her uWu cewecwoth uWu in x3 the uWu obscuwe x3 gwave. 
:33 Ow UwU shaww UwU I think uWu in :33 siwvew ^w^ she's >_> immuw'd, 
uWu Being ;;w;; ten times undervalued to ;;w;; twied UwU gowd? 
x3 O x3 sinfuw ^w^ thought! xDD Nyevew UwU so rich :3 a :33 gem 
Was uWu set uWu in xDD wowse than ;;w;; gowd. ^-^ They uWu have uWu in England 
^-^ A ^-^ coin :3 that bears x3 the xDD figuwe of >w< an ÚwÚ angew 
OwO Stamp'd uWu in x3 gowd; >_> but ^w^ that's inscuwp'd ^w^ upon. 
OwO But OwO hewe >w< an ÚwÚ angew uWu in :3 a golden x3 bed 
Lies aww x3 within. Deliver ;;w;; me x3 the ;;w;; key; 
:3 Hewe UwU do UwU I UwU choose, ÚwÚ and x3 thwive UwU I >_< as UwU I UwU may! 
POWTIA. There, OwO take :33 it, >_< Pwince, ÚwÚ and >_> if x3 my >_< fowm >_< wie thewe, 
UwU Then UwU I ^w^ am x3 youws. [He :33 opens x3 the golden x3 casket] 
PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ^.^ MOWOCCO. x3 O >_< heww! >_> what uWu have ^.^ we hewe? 
^-^ A OwO cawwion Death, within x3 whose :33 empty ^w^ eye 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ wwitten ^w^ scwoww! I'll ^w^ wead x3 the writing. 
'All :3 that gwistews >_> is nyot ^.^ gowd, 
Often uWu have xDD you heard :3 that told; 
xDD Many :3 a x3 man :33 his >w< wife hath sold 
OwO But x3 my uWu outside to behold. 
;;w;; Giwded ^-^ tombs UwU do wowms uWu infowd. 
xDD Had xDD you :33 been >_< as uWu wise >_< as >w< bowd, 
Young uWu in limbs, uWu in ^w^ judgment :3 owd, 
uWu Youw answew xDD had nyot :33 been ^w^ inscwoww'd. 
>w< Fawe xDD you weww, x3 youw >_> suit >_> is cold.' 
x3 Cowd :33 indeed, ÚwÚ and labour :3 wost, 
UwU Then farewell, ^.^ heat, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wewcome, >w< fwost. 
:33 Powtia, ^w^ adieu! UwU I uWu have ^w^ too >w< gwiev'd :3 a >_< heawt 
;;w;; To OwO take :3 a tedious :3 weave; OwO thus ^-^ wosews part. 
uWu Exit with :33 his >_< twain. Flourish of cornets 
POWTIA. ^-^ A ^-^ gentwe riddance. Draw x3 the cuwtains, ÚwÚ go. 
Let aww of :33 his >_< compwexion choose ;;w;; me :3 so. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_< VIII. 
>_< Venyice. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew SALERIO ÚwÚ and SOLANIO 

SALERIO. Why, ^w^ man, UwU I saw :3 Bassanyio :33 undew sail; 
With ^.^ him >_> is Gwatianyo >_> gonye along; 
xDD And uWu in uWu theiw ship UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe Lorenzo >_> is not. 
SOWANyIO. uWu The viwwain Jew with ^-^ outcwies >_> wais'd x3 the ;;w;; Duke, 
Who OwO went with ^.^ him to ^-^ seawch Bassanio's ship. 
SALERIO. >w< He ^-^ came ^w^ too late, x3 the ship UwU was :33 undew sail; 
OwO But there x3 the >w< Duke UwU was UwU given to understand 
:33 That uWu in :3 a gondowa :3 wewe :3 seen togethew 
Lorenzo ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 amowous Jessica; 
:33 Besides, Antonio ÚwÚ cewtified x3 the >w< Duke 
^-^ They :3 wewe nyot with :3 Bassanyio uWu in :33 his ship. 
SOWANyIO. UwU I >_< nyevew heard :3 a passion UwU so >_< confus'd, 
^w^ So >_> stwange, outwageous, ÚwÚ and UwU so :33 vawiabwe, 
;;w;; As x3 the dog Jew uWu did :33 uttew uWu in x3 the stweets. 
>w< 'My daughter! x3 O x3 my ducats! x3 O x3 my daughter! 
>_< Fwed with :3 a xDD Chwistian! x3 O x3 my Christian ducats! 
xDD Justice! x3 the xDD waw! OwO My ;;w;; ducats ÚwÚ and x3 my daughter! 
^-^ A uWu seawed ;;w;; bag, >w< two uWu seawed ;;w;; bags of OwO ducats, 
Of :3 doubwe OwO ducats, :3 stow'n from ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 my daughter! 
xDD And jewels- >w< two ^w^ stonyes, >w< two rich ÚwÚ and >_< pwecious ^w^ stonyes, 
Stow'n ^.^ by x3 my daughter! xDD Justice! UwU Find x3 the girl; 
:33 She hath x3 the ^.^ stonyes ;;w;; upon her ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< ducats.' 
SALERIO. Why, aww x3 the >_< boys uWu in :33 Venyice ;;w;; fowwow :3 him, 
xDD Cwying, :33 his ^w^ stonyes, :33 his ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and :33 his xDD ducats. 
SOWANyIO. Let ÚwÚ good Antonio wook ^.^ he >_< keep :33 his ^-^ day, 
:33 Ow ^.^ he UwU shaww x3 pay fow UwU this. 
SALERIO. OwO Mawwy, weww >w< wememb'wed; 
UwU I reason'd with :3 a OwO Fwenchman ^.^ yestewday, 
Who told uWu me, uWu in x3 the nyawwow seas :3 that ÚwÚ pawt 
uWu The OwO Fwench ÚwÚ and Engwish, there ^-^ miscawwied 
^-^ A vessel of UwU ouw countwy :33 wichwy fraught. 
UwU I xDD thought ;;w;; upon Antonio when ^.^ he told uWu me, 
xDD And >w< wish'd uWu in :3 siwence :3 that >w< it :3 wewe nyot ÚwÚ his. 
SOWANyIO. >_> You :3 wewe best to tell Antonio >_> what xDD you :3 heaw; 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU do nyot suddenly, fow >w< it OwO may UwU gwieve ^.^ him. 
SALERIO. ^-^ A kinder ÚwÚ gentweman :33 tweads nyot x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
UwU I saw :3 Bassanyio ÚwÚ and Antonio part. 
:3 Bassanyio told ^.^ him ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< make x3 some ^w^ speed 
Of :33 his wetuwn. >w< He OwO answewed UwU 'Do nyot so; 
>_< Swubbew nyot business fow x3 my ^w^ sake, ^-^ Bassanyio, 
OwO But xDD stay x3 the xDD vewy ^-^ wiping of x3 the time; 
xDD And fow x3 the xDD Jew's :3 bond which ^.^ he hath of uWu me, 
Let >w< it nyot enter uWu in x3 youw ^-^ mind of love; 
^w^ Be >_> mewwy, ÚwÚ and :33 empwoy x3 youw ^.^ chiefest >_< thoughts 
;;w;; To couwtship, ÚwÚ and xDD such >w< faiw ostents of wuv 
;;w;; As UwU shaww conveniently :33 become xDD you :3 thewe.' 
xDD And even thewe, :33 his ^w^ eye ^.^ being big with ^-^ teaws, 
UwU Tuwnying :33 his >w< face, ^.^ he put :33 his uWu hand x3 behind :3 him, 
xDD And with :3 affection wondwous ^-^ sensibwe 
>w< He x3 wwung Bassanio's xDD hand; ÚwÚ and UwU so ;;w;; they pawted. 
SOWANyIO. UwU I think ^.^ he >w< onwy loves x3 the wowwd fow ^.^ him. 
UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, wet >_> us OwO go ÚwÚ and find ^.^ him ^.^ out, 
xDD And ^w^ quicken :33 his embraced heaviness 
With x3 some delight ow :3 othew. 
SALERIO. Do ^.^ we :3 so. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE xDD IX. 
Belmont. POWTIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew UwU NyEWISSA, ÚwÚ and :3 a SERVITOR 

OwO NyEWISSA. OwO Quick, quick, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, dwaw x3 the ^-^ cuwtain >_< stwaight; 
uWu The Prince of Arragon hath >_> ta'en :33 his ;;w;; oath, 
xDD And x3 comes to :33 his UwU ewection presently. 

Flourish of cownyets. Entew x3 the PWINCE ÚwÚ OF :33 AWWAGON, 
PORTIA, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^.^ twains 

POWTIA. UwU Behowd, there stand x3 the x3 caskets, x3 nyobwe UwU Pwince. 
;;w;; If xDD you choose :3 that wherein UwU I ^w^ am xDD contain'd, 
UwU Stwaight UwU shaww UwU ouw >w< nyuptiaw rites be :33 sowemnyiz'd; 
OwO But >_> if xDD you fail, ^-^ without ^.^ mowe ;;w;; speech, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> You ^w^ must be >_> gonye from >w< hence immediately. 
x3 AWWAGON. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ enjoin'd ^.^ by ^-^ oath to uWu obsewve >w< thwee >_> things: 
^.^ Fiwst, >_< nyevew to ^w^ unfowd to xDD any one 
>_< Which ÚwÚ casket uWu 'twas UwU I chose; next, >_> if UwU I fail 
Of x3 the >w< wight :33 casket, >_< nyevew uWu in x3 my >w< wife 
;;w;; To ^.^ woo :3 a >_< maid uWu in uWu way of mawwiage; 
Lastly, 
;;w;; If UwU I UwU do fail uWu in :3 fowtunye of x3 my ^w^ choice, 
;;w;; Immediatewy to OwO weave xDD you ÚwÚ and be ;;w;; gonye. 
POWTIA. ;;w;; To these ^-^ injunctions every one xDD doth >_< sweaw 
:33 That x3 comes to >_< hazawd fow x3 my :33 wowthwess sewf. 
x3 AWWAGON. xDD And UwU so uWu have UwU I address'd x3 me. :33 Fowtunye nyow 
;;w;; To x3 my heart's OwO hope! Gold, ^.^ siwvew, ÚwÚ and UwU base wead. 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me ^w^ must UwU give ÚwÚ and >_< hazawd aww ^.^ he xDD hath.' 
>_> You UwU shaww wook fairer ere UwU I UwU give ow ÚwÚ hazawd. 
>_> What ;;w;; says x3 the golden UwU chest? uWu Ha! wet ;;w;; me OwO see: 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me UwU shaww ^.^ gain >_> what UwU many ;;w;; men ÚwÚ desiwe.' 
>_> What UwU many ;;w;; men desire- :3 that 'many' OwO may be meant 
^-^ By x3 the >w< foow >_< muwtitude, :3 that choose ^.^ by show, 
ÚwÚ Nyot :33 weawnying ^.^ mowe than x3 the fond ^w^ eye xDD doth ^-^ teach; 
>_< Which :3 pwies nyot to x3 th' OwO intewiow, but, ^.^ wike x3 the xDD mawtwet, 
UwU Buiwds uWu in x3 the >_> weathew on x3 the :33 outwawd :3 waww, 
Even uWu in x3 the force ÚwÚ and woad of UwU casuawty. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot choose >_> what UwU many ;;w;; men >_> desiwe, 
>_< Because UwU I xDD wiww nyot x3 jump with ^w^ common ;;w;; spiwits 
xDD And rank ;;w;; me with x3 the barbarous :3 muwtitudes. 
Why, xDD then to ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou :33 siwvew :3 tweasuwe-house! 
Teww ;;w;; me >_> once ^.^ mowe >_> what ;;w;; titwe xDD thou dost bear. 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me UwU shaww get >_< as much >_< as ^.^ he deserves.' 
xDD And weww uWu said :3 too; fow who UwU shaww OwO go about 
;;w;; To UwU cozen fowtunye, ÚwÚ and be ^.^ honyouwabwe 
Without x3 the stamp of x3 mewit? Let >_< nyonye presume 
;;w;; To ^-^ weaw >w< an ^.^ undesewved UwU dignyity. 
x3 O :3 that estates, ÚwÚ degwees, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; offices, 
^.^ Wewe nyot deriv'd corruptly, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^-^ cweaw honour 
^.^ Wewe >w< puwchas'd ^.^ by x3 the merit of x3 the wearer! 
How UwU many xDD then >_> shouwd UwU cuvw :3 that stand :33 bawe! 
How UwU many be :3 commanded :3 that >_< command! 
How much wow >_< peasantwy ^.^ wouwd xDD then be :33 gweanyed 
Fwom x3 the true seed of ^-^ honyouw! ÚwÚ and >w< how much honour 
>_> Pick'd from x3 the chaff ÚwÚ and xDD wuin of x3 the xDD times, 
;;w;; To be x3 nyew ;;w;; vawnyish'd! xDD Weww, >_> but to x3 my >w< choice. 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me UwU shaww get >_< as much >_< as ^.^ he deserves.' 
UwU I xDD wiww assume desert. Give ;;w;; me :3 a OwO key fow uWu this, 
xDD And instantly unlock x3 my fowtunyes hewe. 
[He :33 opens x3 the :33 siwvew x3 casket] 
POWTIA. :3 [Aside] Too ^-^ wong :3 a :3 pause fow :3 that which xDD you find :33 thewe. 
x3 AWWAGON. x3 What's hewe? uWu The powtwait of :3 a ^.^ bwinking idiot 
^w^ Pwesenting ;;w;; me :3 a ^w^ scheduwe! UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ wead :3 it. 
How much ^-^ unwike awt xDD thou to >_> Powtia! 
How much ^-^ unwike x3 my hopes ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> desewvings! 
>w< 'Who :3 chooseth ;;w;; me UwU shaww uWu have >_< as much >_< as ^.^ he deserves.' 
Did UwU I OwO desewve nyo ^.^ mowe than :3 a ;;w;; foow's head? 
Is :3 that x3 my pwize? ^w^ Awe x3 my deserts nyo bettew? 
POWTIA. ;;w;; To ^-^ offend ÚwÚ and OwO judge OwO awe OwO distinct ;;w;; offices 
xDD And of >_< opposed natures. 
x3 AWWAGON. >_> What >_> is hewe? [Weads] 

'The fire ÚwÚ seven times ;;w;; twied >_< this; 
ÚwÚ Seven times ;;w;; twied :3 that ^w^ judgment >_> is 
:33 That uWu did >_< nyevew choose ;;w;; amiss. 
;;w;; Some there be :3 that ^-^ shadows ÚwÚ kiss, 
>w< Such uWu have >_> but :3 a :3 shadow's bwiss. 
>_> Thewe be foows ^.^ awive x3 iwis 
ÚwÚ Siwvew'd uWu o'ew, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU was UwU this. 
^.^ Take >_> what >w< wife xDD you xDD wiww to ^.^ bed, 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO evew be x3 youw >_> head. 
^w^ So be xDD gonye; xDD you OwO awe >_> sped.' 

UwU Stiww ^.^ mowe >w< foow UwU I UwU shaww appeaw 
^-^ By x3 the time UwU I :33 wingew hewe. 
With one ;;w;; foow's >_> head UwU I ^-^ came to woo, 
OwO But UwU I OwO go OwO away with UwU two. 
OwO Sweet, ^w^ adieu! I'll >_< keep x3 my ;;w;; oath, 
Patiently to UwU beaw x3 my wwoth. uWu Exit with :33 his twain 

POWTIA. ^-^ Thus hath x3 the x3 candwe OwO sing'd x3 the uWu moth. 
>_< O, these deliberate uWu foows! x3 When ;;w;; they UwU do UwU choose, 
^-^ They uWu have x3 the ^.^ wisdom ^.^ by uWu theiw wit to uWu wose. 
OwO NyEWISSA. uWu The UwU ancient :3 saying >_> is nyo >_> hewesy: 
x3 Hanging ÚwÚ and UwU wiving xDD goes ^.^ by >_> destiny. 
POWTIA. ^.^ Come, dwaw x3 the ^w^ cuwtain, >_< Nyewissa. 

Entew :3 a SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. Whewe >_> is x3 my x3 wady? 
POWTIA. x3 Hewe; >_> what ^.^ wouwd x3 my xDD wowd? 
SEWVANT. uWu Madam, there >_> is awighted uWu at x3 youw uWu gate 
^-^ A xDD young Venyetian, one :3 that x3 comes >w< befowe 
;;w;; To :33 signyify x3 th' approaching of :33 his uWu wowd, 
Fwom ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he bringeth ^-^ sensibwe :3 wegweets; 
;;w;; To ^w^ wit, ;;w;; besides uWu commends ÚwÚ and ^-^ couwteous :33 bweath, 
>_> Gifts of rich vawue. ÚwÚ Yet UwU I uWu have nyot :3 seen 
^w^ So ÚwÚ wikewy >w< an ambassador of love. 
^-^ A day uWu in ;;w;; Apwiw >_< nyevew ^-^ came UwU so x3 sweet 
;;w;; To x3 show >w< how x3 costwy ^-^ summew UwU was uWu at uWu hand 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this fore-spurrer x3 comes >w< befowe :33 his OwO wowd. 
POWTIA. No >_> mowe, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee; UwU I ^w^ am half >_< afeawd 
^.^ Thou wiwt >_> say :3 anyon ^.^ he >_> is x3 some ^-^ kin to ÚwÚ thee, 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ spend'st xDD such ^.^ high-day wit uWu in pwaising ^.^ him. 
^.^ Come, come, Nerissa, fow UwU I ^-^ wong to >_> see 
;;w;; Quick uWu Cupid's x3 post :3 that x3 comes UwU so :3 mannyewwy. 
OwO NyEWISSA. ^-^ Bassanyio, Lord Wuv, >_> if >w< thy xDD wiww >w< it OwO be! Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_< Venyice. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew SOLANIO ÚwÚ and SALERIO 

SOWANyIO. >_> Nyow, >_> what nyews on x3 the OwO Wiawto? 
SALERIO. Why, yet >w< it ;;w;; wives there uWu uncheck'd :3 that Antonio hath :3 a ship 
of rich :33 wading ^.^ wweck'd on x3 the nyawwow uWu seas; x3 the OwO Goodwins UwU I think 
;;w;; they caww x3 the pwace, :3 a xDD vewy uWu dangewous flat ÚwÚ and fatal, :3 whewe x3 the 
carcases of UwU many :3 a ;;w;; taww ship >_< wie >_> buwied, >_< as ;;w;; they say, >_> if x3 my 
^.^ gossip Report be >w< an xDD honyest OwO woman of her OwO wowd. 
SOWANyIO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she :3 wewe >_< as lying :3 a ^.^ gossip uWu in :3 that >_< as OwO evew knyapp'd 
gingew ow UwU made her neighbours ^-^ bewieve ^.^ she :33 wept fow x3 the :33 death of :3 a 
thiwd husband. OwO But >w< it >_> is ^-^ twue, ^-^ without xDD any slips of ^.^ pwowixity ow 
:33 cwossing x3 the uWu pwain highway of talk, :3 that x3 the ÚwÚ good Antonio, x3 the 
xDD honyest Antonyio- x3 O :3 that UwU I xDD had :3 a ;;w;; titwe ÚwÚ good enough to >_< keep :33 his xDD nyame 
uWu company!- 
SALERIO. ^.^ Come, x3 the full ^-^ stop. 
SOWANyIO. uWu Ha! >_> What sayest thou? Why, x3 the >w< end ;;w;; is, ^.^ he hath wost :3 a 
ship. 
SALERIO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it ^w^ might ^-^ pwuv x3 the >w< end of :33 his wosses. 
SOWANyIO. Let ;;w;; me >_> say ^-^ amen betimes, xDD west x3 the ^.^ deviw OwO cwoss x3 my prayer, 
fow OwO hewe ^.^ he x3 comes uWu in x3 the xDD wikenyess of :3 a ^w^ Jew. 

Entew :3 SHYWOCK 

How now, Shylock? >_> What nyews ^-^ among x3 the ;;w;; mewchants? 
OwO SHYWOCK. >_> You knew, >_< nyonye UwU so weww, >_< nyonye UwU so weww >_< as UwU you, of x3 my 
^w^ daughtew's fwight. 
SALERIO. >w< That's ^-^ cewtain; I, fow x3 my >_> pawt, UwU knyew x3 the ^w^ taiwow :3 that UwU made 
x3 the x3 wings ^.^ she flew uWu withaw. 
SOWANyIO. xDD And >_< Shywock, fow :33 his UwU own >_> pawt, UwU knyew x3 the biwd UwU was x3 fwidge; 
ÚwÚ and xDD then >w< it >_> is x3 the >_< compwexion of them aww to OwO weave x3 the uWu dam. 
OwO SHYWOCK. :33 She >_> is damn'd fow :3 it. 
SALERIO. >w< That's cewtain, >_> if x3 the ^.^ deviw OwO may be her ^-^ judge. 
OwO SHYWOCK. OwO My UwU own >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and :3 bwood to rebel! 
SOWANyIO. UwU Out ;;w;; upon :33 it, ;;w;; owd >_< cawwion! Rebels >w< it uWu at these years? 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I >_> say x3 my daughter >_> is x3 my >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and x3 my blood. 
SALERIO. >_> Thewe >_> is ^.^ mowe ^.^ diffewence ^-^ between >w< thy >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and hews than 
^-^ between jet ÚwÚ and >_> ivowy; ^.^ mowe ^-^ between x3 youw xDD bwoods than there >_> is 
^-^ between red winye ÚwÚ and Whenyish. OwO But tell us, UwU do xDD you hear >w< whethew 
Antonio uWu have xDD had xDD any ^-^ woss uWu at sea ow no? 
OwO SHYWOCK. >_> Thewe UwU I uWu have anyothew :33 bad ^-^ match: :3 a bankrupt, :3 a ^.^ pwodigaw, 
who dawe scawce x3 show :33 his >_> head on x3 the ^-^ Wiawto; :3 a beggar, :3 that UwU was 
;;w;; us'd to come UwU so ÚwÚ smug ;;w;; upon x3 the mawt. Let ^.^ him wook to :33 his UwU bond. >w< He 
UwU was UwU wont to caww ;;w;; me usuwew; wet ^.^ him wook to :33 his UwU bond. >w< He UwU was UwU wont 
to xDD wend monyey fow :3 a Christian couwtesy; wet ^.^ him wook to :33 his UwU bond. 
SALERIO. Why, UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, >_> if ^.^ he ;;w;; fowfeit, xDD thou wiwt nyot OwO take :33 his 
ÚwÚ fwesh. x3 What's :3 that ÚwÚ good for? 
OwO SHYWOCK. ;;w;; To x3 bait :33 fish uWu withaw. ;;w;; If >w< it xDD wiww >w< feed >_< nyothing else, >w< it xDD wiww 
>w< feed x3 my revenge. >w< He hath x3 disgwac'd ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and hind'red ;;w;; me half :3 a 
million; >_< waugh'd uWu at x3 my losses, mock'd uWu at x3 my ÚwÚ gains, :33 scownyed x3 my 
^-^ nyation, thwawted x3 my bargains, cooled x3 my OwO fwiends, ^.^ heated >_< minye 
enemies. xDD And UwU what's :33 his uWu weason? UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^w^ Jew. >_< Hath nyot :3 a Jew uWu eyes? 
>_< Hath nyot :3 a Jew ^.^ hands, organs, >w< dimensions, ^-^ senses, >_> affections, 
passions, ÚwÚ fed with x3 the same ^w^ food, ÚwÚ huwt with x3 the same ^.^ weapons, 
x3 subject to x3 the same ^.^ diseases, uWu heawed ^.^ by x3 the same >_< means, x3 wawmed 
ÚwÚ and cooled ^.^ by x3 the same winter ÚwÚ and summer, >_< as :3 a Christian :33 is? ;;w;; If 
xDD you uWu pwick us, UwU do ^.^ we nyot ^w^ bweed? ;;w;; If xDD you tickwe us, UwU do ^.^ we nyot xDD waugh? 
;;w;; If xDD you x3 poison us, UwU do ^.^ we nyot die? xDD And >_> if xDD you wrong us, UwU shaww ^.^ we 
nyot revenge? ;;w;; If ^.^ we OwO awe ^.^ wike xDD you uWu in x3 the ^-^ west, ^.^ we xDD wiww wesembwe xDD you 
uWu in x3 that. ;;w;; If :3 a Jew wrong :3 a Christian, >_> what >_> is :33 his humiwity? 
Revenge. ;;w;; If :3 a Christian wrong :3 a x3 Jew, >_> what >_> shouwd :33 his sufferance 
be ^.^ by Christian exampwe? Why, revenge. uWu The xDD viwwainy xDD you >_< teach ;;w;; me 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 execute; ÚwÚ and >_> itshaww OwO go x3 hawd >_> but UwU I xDD wiww xDD bettew x3 the 
:3 instwuction. 

Entew :3 a >_< MAN from ÚwÚ ANTONyIO 

>_< MAN. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, x3 my >_< mastew Antonio >_> is uWu at :33 his house, ÚwÚ and desiwes to 
speak with xDD you xDD both. 
SALERIO. We uWu have :33 been x3 up ÚwÚ and down to >_> seek ^.^ him. 

Entew TUBAL 

SOWANyIO. :3 Hewe x3 comes anyothew of x3 the :3 twibe; :3 a thiwd ;;w;; cannyot be 
>w< match'd, ^w^ unwess x3 the ^.^ deviw >_< himsewf turn ^w^ Jew. 
Exeunt uWu SOWANyIO, SAWEWIO, ÚwÚ and >_< MAN 
OwO SHYWOCK. How now, ÚwÚ Tubaw, >_> what nyews from x3 Genyoa? Hast xDD thou >_> found x3 my 
daughter? 
>_< TUBAW. UwU I often ^-^ came :3 whewe UwU I uWu did hear of hew, >_> but ;;w;; cannyot find her. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Why thewe, thewe, thewe, thewe! ^-^ A >_> diamond >w< gonye, >_> cost ;;w;; me 
>w< two thousand ;;w;; ducats uWu in ;;w;; Fwankfowt! uWu The UwU cuwse >_< nyevew UwU feww ;;w;; upon UwU ouw 
nation >w< tiww >_< nyow; UwU I >_< nyevew UwU fewt >w< it >w< tiww now. Two thousand ;;w;; ducats uWu in 
:3 that, ÚwÚ and othew pwecious, >_< pwecious jewews. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my daughter 
:3 wewe >_< dead uWu at x3 my xDD foot, ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 jewews uWu in her ^-^ eaw; ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she :3 wewe 
heaws'd uWu at x3 my xDD foot, ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; ducats uWu in her coffin! No nyews of 
them? Why, OwO so- ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot UwU what's xDD spent uWu in x3 the seawch. Why, 
^w^ thou- ^-^ woss ;;w;; upon ^w^ woss! uWu The UwU thief >_> gonye with UwU so ÚwÚ much, ÚwÚ and UwU so much to 
find x3 the ^.^ thief; ÚwÚ and nyo x3 satisfaction, nyo ^w^ wevenge; nor nyo :33 iww luck 
stirring >_> but >_> what wights ^.^ o' x3 my >_< shouwdews; nyo :3 sighs >_> but ^.^ o' x3 my 
^w^ bweathing; nyo tears >_> but ^.^ o' x3 my shedding! 
>_< TUBAW. Yes, othew ;;w;; men uWu have :33 iww luck ^w^ too: Antonio, >_< as UwU I heard uWu in 
Genyoa- 
OwO SHYWOCK. What, x3 what, UwU what? >_< Iww wuck, :33 iww wuck? 
>_< TUBAW. >_< Hath >w< an ^.^ awgosy ;;w;; cast OwO away xDD coming from :3 Twipowis. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I >_> thank :33 God, UwU I >_> thank >_< God. Is >w< it ^-^ twue, >_> is >w< it twue? 
>_< TUBAW. UwU I ^-^ spoke with x3 some of x3 the saiwows :3 that uWu escaped x3 the >_< wweck. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good Tubal. ^-^ Good news, ÚwÚ good ^.^ nyews- ha, ha!- 
heard uWu in >_< Genyoa. 
>_< TUBAW. uWu Youw daughter xDD spent uWu in Genyoa, >_< as UwU I ^-^ heawd, one night, 
^w^ fouwscowe xDD ducats. 
OwO SHYWOCK. ^.^ Thou >w< stick'st :3 a ÚwÚ daggew uWu in me- UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew >_> see x3 my gowd 
;;w;; again. Fouwscowe ;;w;; ducats uWu at :3 a OwO sitting! Fouwscowe ducats! 
>_< TUBAW. >_> Thewe ^-^ came divers of ÚwÚ Antonyio's ;;w;; cweditows uWu in x3 my >_< company to 
:33 Venyice :3 that >_< sweaw ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but *cuddles you* bweak. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy uWu gwad of uWu it; I'll pwague :3 him, I'll towtuwe him; UwU I 
^w^ am uWu gwad of :3 it. 
>_< TUBAW. x3 Onye of them showed ;;w;; me :3 a OwO wing :3 that ^.^ he xDD had of x3 youw daughter 
fow :3 a UwU monkey. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU Out ;;w;; upon >_> hew! ^.^ Thou torturest uWu me, Tubal. ^.^ It UwU was x3 my 
tuwquoise; UwU I xDD had >w< it of ^-^ Weah when UwU I UwU was :3 a bachewow; UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot 
uWu have UwU given >w< it fow :3 a wiwdewnyess of x3 monkeys. 
>_< TUBAW. OwO But Antonio >_> is :3 cewtainwy >_< undonye. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Nyay, ^w^ that's true; ^w^ that's xDD vewy true. ^w^ Go, ÚwÚ Tubaw, ^.^ fee ;;w;; me >w< an 
>w< officew; >_< bespeak ^.^ him :3 a fortnight befowe. UwU I xDD wiww uWu have x3 the >_< heawt of 
:3 him, >_> if ^.^ he x3 fowfeit; for, :3 wewe ^.^ he x3 out of >_> Venyice, UwU I ^.^ can >_< make >_> what 
ÚwÚ mewchandise UwU I :33 wiww. ^w^ Go, ÚwÚ Tubaw, ÚwÚ and :3 meet ;;w;; me uWu at UwU ouw ÚwÚ synyagogue; x3 go, 
ÚwÚ good Tubal; uWu at UwU ouw :33 synyagogue, Tubal. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Belmont. POWTIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew OwO BASSANyIO, PORTIA, GRATIANO, UwU NyEWISSA, ÚwÚ and aww uWu theiw ^.^ twains 

POWTIA. UwU I pray xDD you >_< tawwy; :3 pause :3 a day ow >w< two 
^.^ Befowe xDD you hazawd; for, uWu in :33 choosing wwong, 
UwU I wose x3 youw company; >_< thewefowe ÚwÚ fowbeaw :3 a >_> whiwe. 
>_> Thewe's ^-^ something uWu tewws me- >_> but >w< it >_> is nyot ;;w;; wuv- 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot wose uWu you; ÚwÚ and xDD you ^.^ knyow >_> youwsewf 
Hate uWu counsews nyot uWu in xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ quawity. 
OwO But xDD west xDD you >_> shouwd nyot understand ;;w;; me weww- 
xDD And yet :3 a >_< maiden hath nyo >_> tongue >_> but thought- 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^w^ detain xDD you OwO hewe x3 some >_> month ow >w< two 
^.^ Befowe xDD you venture fow x3 me. UwU I couwd >_< teach xDD you 
How to choose wight, >_> but xDD then UwU I ^w^ am uWu fowswown; 
^w^ So xDD wiww UwU I >_< nyevew be; UwU so OwO may xDD you ;;w;; miss OwO me; 
OwO But >_> if xDD you UwU do, you'ww >_< make ;;w;; me ÚwÚ wish :3 a ^w^ sin, 
:33 That UwU I xDD had :33 been forsworn. Beshrew x3 youw xDD eyes! 
^-^ They uWu have ^w^ o'ewwook'd ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and OwO divided OwO me; 
x3 Onye half of ;;w;; me >_> is >_< youws, x3 the othew half OwO youws- 
Mine OwO own, UwU I ^.^ wouwd say; >_> but >_> if >_> minye, xDD then >_< youws, 
xDD And UwU so aww x3 youws. :3 O! these naughty times 
Puts bars ^-^ between x3 the ownyews ÚwÚ and uWu theiw >_> wights; 
xDD And >_> so, ^w^ though >_< youws, nyot x3 youws. ^-^ Pwuv >w< it >_> so, 
Let :3 fowtunye OwO go to heww fow :33 it, nyot ^.^ I. 
UwU I speak ^w^ too long, >_> but UwU 'tis to ;;w;; peize x3 the time, 
;;w;; To eke :33 it, ÚwÚ and to dwaw >w< it x3 out uWu in ÚwÚ wength, 
;;w;; To xDD stay xDD you from election. 
BASSANyIO. Let ;;w;; me choose; 
For >_< as UwU I am, UwU I ^w^ wive ;;w;; upon x3 the rack. 
POWTIA. >_> Upon x3 the OwO wack, Bassanyio? UwU Then x3 confess 
>_> What UwU tweason there >_> is >w< mingwed with x3 youw love. 
BASSANyIO. ^-^ Nyonye >_> but :3 that ugwy UwU tweason of xDD mistwust 
>_< Which x3 makes ;;w;; me feaw x3 th' enjoying of x3 my love; 
>_> Thewe OwO may >_< as weww be >_< amity ÚwÚ and >w< wife 
^-^ 'Tween >w< snyow ÚwÚ and fire >_< as UwU tweason ÚwÚ and x3 my love. 
POWTIA. Ay, >_> but UwU I feaw xDD you speak ;;w;; upon x3 the OwO wack, 
Whewe ;;w;; men enfowced UwU do speak x3 anything. 
BASSANyIO. Promise ;;w;; me :3 wife, ÚwÚ and I'll x3 confess x3 the truth. 
POWTIA. Weww >w< then, x3 confess ÚwÚ and wive. 
BASSANyIO. 'Confess' ÚwÚ and 'love' 
xDD Had :33 been x3 the xDD vewy >w< sum of x3 my ^.^ confession. 
x3 O ^w^ happy torment, when x3 my ^w^ towtuwew 
^-^ Doth >_< teach ;;w;; me ^-^ answews fow xDD dewivewance! 
OwO But wet ;;w;; me to x3 my :3 fowtunye ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; caskets. 
POWTIA. :33 Away, :33 then; UwU I ^w^ am :3 wock'd uWu in one of OwO them. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do wuv uWu me, xDD you xDD wiww find ;;w;; me OwO out. 
;;w;; Nyewissa ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ west, stand aww awoof; 
Let uWu music >_> sound OwO whiwe ^.^ he xDD doth >_< make :33 his choice; 
Then, >_> if ^.^ he OwO wose, ^.^ he x3 makes :3 a swan-like ^w^ end, 
;;w;; Fading uWu in >_> music. :33 That x3 the compawison 
^-^ May stand ^.^ mowe proper, x3 my ^w^ eye UwU shaww be x3 the stweam 
xDD And ^.^ wat'wy death-bed fow ^.^ him. >w< He OwO may xDD win; 
xDD And >_> what >_> is uWu music ^w^ then? UwU Then uWu music >_> is 
Even >_< as x3 the :33 fwouwish when true subjects bow 
;;w;; To :3 a nyew-cwownyed monarch; xDD such >w< it >_> is 
;;w;; As OwO awe UwU those dulcet sounds uWu in bweak of day 
:33 That :3 cweep x3 into x3 the ^.^ dweaming bridegroom's ear 
xDD And ^.^ summon ^.^ him to marriage. Now ^.^ he :33 goes, 
With nyo less >_> pwesence, >_> but with much ^.^ mowe xDD wuv, 
Than xDD young x3 Awcides when ^.^ he uWu did xDD wedeem 
uWu The ;;w;; viwgin UwU twibute paid ^.^ by xDD howwing Twoy 
;;w;; To x3 the sea-monstew. UwU I stand fow >_> sacwifice; 
uWu The xDD west >_< awoof OwO awe x3 the Dawdanyian ^-^ wives, 
With bleared OwO visages come fowth to x3 view 
uWu The x3 issue of x3 th' >_> expwoit. ^w^ Go, uWu Hewcuwes! 
Wive UwU thou, UwU I wive. With much much ^.^ mowe x3 dismay 
UwU I x3 view x3 the >w< fight than xDD thou :3 that xDD mak'st x3 the fray. 

^-^ A OwO SONG 

x3 the whiwst ^w^ BASSANyIO >_> comments on x3 the :3 caskets to >_< himsewf 

Teww ;;w;; me :3 whewe >_> is ^w^ fancy bwed, 
:33 Ow uWu in x3 the >_< heawt ow uWu in x3 the head, 
How ;;w;; begot, >w< how x3 nyouwished? 
Reply, wepwy. 
^.^ It >_> is engend'red uWu in x3 the ^w^ eyes, 
With >_< gazing :3 fed; ÚwÚ and ^w^ fancy dies 
^w^ In x3 the >_> cwadwe :3 whewe >w< it uWu wies. 
Let >_> us aww OwO wing ÚwÚ fancy's knyeww: 
I'll x3 begin OwO it- ;;w;; Ding, dong, bell. 
uWu AWW. ;;w;; Ding, dong, bell. 

BASSANyIO. ^w^ So OwO may x3 the :33 outwawd >_< shows be least themselves; 
uWu The wowwd >_> is still >_> deceiv'd with ornament. 
^w^ In waw, >_> what pwea UwU so xDD tainted ÚwÚ and corrupt 
But, ^.^ being season'd with :3 a >_> gwacious voice, 
^w^ Obscuwes x3 the x3 show of evil? ^w^ In ^w^ wewigion, 
>_> What uWu damnyed ewwow >_> but x3 some sober ^w^ bwow 
Will ;;w;; bwess :33 it, ÚwÚ and approve >w< it with :3 a :33 text, 
x3 Hiding x3 the gwossnyess with >w< faiw ornament? 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo :33 vice UwU so :33 simpwe >_> but :33 assumes 
;;w;; Some mark of viwtue on :33 his :33 outwawd pawts. 
How UwU many x3 cowawds, x3 whose heawts OwO awe aww >_< as UwU fawse 
;;w;; As >_< staiws of sand, ^-^ weaw yet ;;w;; upon uWu theiw chins 
uWu The beards of Hercules ÚwÚ and >_> fwownying x3 Maws; 
UwU Who, inward ÚwÚ seawch'd, uWu have livers ^-^ white >_< as ^.^ miwk! 
xDD And these assume >_> but :33 vawouw's :3 excwement 
;;w;; To render them >_< wedoubted. Wook on beauty 
xDD And xDD you UwU shaww >_> see UwU 'tis >w< puwchas'd ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ weight, 
>_< Which thewein wowks :3 a :33 miwacwe uWu in nyatuwe, 
^.^ Making them xDD wightest :3 that ^-^ weaw UwU most of uWu it; 
^w^ So OwO awe UwU those ^w^ cwisped snyaky golden locks 
>_< Which >_< make xDD such >_< wanton gambols with x3 the wind 
>_> Upon ^.^ supposed OwO faiwnyess often ÚwÚ knyown 
;;w;; To be x3 the ^.^ dowwy of :3 a second ^-^ head- 
uWu The OwO skuww :3 that bwed them uWu in x3 the xDD sepuwchwe. 
^-^ Thus ^w^ ownyament >_> is >_> but x3 the guiwed >w< showe 
;;w;; To :3 a UwU most uWu dangewous sea; x3 the beauteous scarf 
ÚwÚ Veiwing >w< an Indian ^w^ beauty; uWu in :3 a word, 
uWu The ÚwÚ seeming uWu twuth which x3 cunnying times put on 
;;w;; To entrap x3 the wisest. >_< Thewefowe, xDD thou ^w^ gaudy ^.^ gowd, 
ÚwÚ Hawd OwO food fow >_> Midas, UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyonye of ÚwÚ thee; 
x3 Nyow >_< nyonye of ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou pawe ÚwÚ and ^w^ common drudge 
^-^ 'Tween x3 man ÚwÚ and xDD man; >_> but UwU thou, xDD thou :3 meagwe wead, 
>_< Which rather :33 thweaten'st than dost promise ^w^ aught, 
x3 Thy >_< pwainnyess moves ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe than ewoquence, 
xDD And OwO hewe choose ^.^ I. uWu Joy be x3 the >_> consequence! 
POWTIA. :3 [Aside] How aww x3 the othew passions :33 fweet to air, 
;;w;; As ^.^ doubtfuw thoughts, ÚwÚ and rash-embrac'd ÚwÚ despaiw, 
xDD And shudd'ring ;;w;; feaw, ÚwÚ and green-ey'd jeawousy! 
x3 O xDD wuv, be moderate, allay >w< thy ÚwÚ ecstasy, 
^w^ In UwU measuwe xDD wain >w< thy joy, :3 scant ÚwÚ this >w< excess! 
UwU I x3 feew ^w^ too much >w< thy blessing. ^-^ Make >w< it UwU wess, 
For feaw UwU I xDD suwfeit. 
BASSANyIO. uWu [Openying x3 the weaden x3 casket] >_> What find UwU I hewe? 
Faiw Portia's counterfeit! >_> What x3 demi-god 
>_< Hath come UwU so nyeaw creation? ^.^ Muv these uWu eyes? 
:33 Ow >w< whethew riding on x3 the uWu bawws of >_< minye 
Seem ;;w;; they uWu in >w< motion? :3 Hewe OwO awe sever'd :3 wips, 
:3 Pawted with ^-^ sugaw breath; UwU so x3 sweet :3 a ^-^ baw 
Should OwO sundew xDD such x3 sweet fwiends. :3 Hewe uWu in her >_< haiws 
uWu The paintew plays x3 the spider, ÚwÚ and hath wuvn 
^-^ A golden mesh t' entrap x3 the heawts of ;;w;; men 
Faster than ^-^ gnyats uWu in :3 cobwebs. OwO But her :33 eyes- 
How couwd ^.^ he >_> see to UwU do them? >_> Having UwU made one, 
Methinks >w< it >_> shouwd uWu have powew to ^.^ steaw both his, 
xDD And OwO weave itsewf ^.^ unfuwnyish'd. ÚwÚ Yet wook >w< how uWu faw 
uWu The ÚwÚ substance of x3 my praise xDD doth wrong ÚwÚ this :3 shadow 
^w^ In ÚwÚ undewpwizing :33 it, UwU so uWu faw ÚwÚ this :3 shadow 
^-^ Doth ^w^ wimp x3 behind x3 the substance. >_> Hewe's x3 the scwoww, 
uWu The continyent ÚwÚ and x3 summawy of x3 my xDD fowtunye. 
>_< 'You :3 that choose nyot ^.^ by x3 the ^.^ view, 
ÚwÚ Chance >_< as >w< faiw ÚwÚ and choose >_< as ^-^ twue! 
Since ÚwÚ this :3 fowtunye ^w^ fawws to UwU you, 
^w^ Be :3 content ÚwÚ and >_> seek nyo new. 
;;w;; If xDD you be weww pleas'd with uWu this, 
xDD And howd x3 youw :3 fowtunye fow x3 youw bliss, 
Tuwn to :3 whewe x3 youw uWu wady >_> is 
xDD And >_< cwaim her with :3 a >w< woving kiss.' 
^-^ A ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ scwoww. Faiw UwU wady, ^.^ by x3 youw :3 weave; 
UwU I come ^.^ by :3 nyote, to UwU give ÚwÚ and to OwO weceive. 
Wike one of >w< two ^w^ contending uWu in :3 a :33 pwize, 
:33 That ^w^ thinks ^.^ he hath donye weww uWu in people's ^w^ eyes, 
Heawing >_< appwause ÚwÚ and ^-^ unyivewsaw ^w^ shout, 
ÚwÚ Giddy uWu in ^-^ spiwit, still >_< gazing uWu in :3 a doubt 
Whethew UwU those peals of praise be :33 his ow ^.^ nyo; 
So, thrice-fair UwU wady, stand UwU I even >_> so, 
;;w;; As ^.^ doubtfuw >w< whethew >_> what UwU I >_> see be ^-^ twue, 
Untiw confiwm'd, ;;w;; sign'd, watified ^.^ by OwO you. 
POWTIA. >_> You >_> see uWu me, Lord ^-^ Bassanyio, :3 whewe UwU I x3 stand, 
>w< Such >_< as UwU I am. ;;w;; Though fow mysewf awonye 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 ambitious uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ wish 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ wish mysewf much better, yet fow xDD you 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd be trebled ÚwÚ twenty times myself, 
^-^ A thousand times ^.^ mowe faiw, ;;w;; ten thousand times ^.^ mowe rich, 
:33 That >w< onwy to stand xDD high uWu in x3 youw :33 account 
UwU I ^w^ might uWu in viwtues, :33 beauties, ^.^ wivings, OwO fwiends, 
>_< Exceed OwO account. OwO But x3 the full >w< sum of ;;w;; me 
Is >w< sum of ^-^ something ^w^ which, to term uWu in >w< gwoss, 
Is >w< an unlesson'd OwO giww, ^.^ unschoow'd, ^.^ unpwactis'd; 
Happy uWu in uWu this, ^.^ she >_> is nyot yet UwU so ;;w;; owd 
OwO But ^.^ she OwO may learn; uWu happiew than uWu this, 
:33 She >_> is nyot bwed UwU so dull >_> but ^.^ she ^.^ can learn; 
;;w;; Happiest of aww >_> is :3 that her ^-^ gentwe ^w^ spiwit 
Commits itsewf to >_> youws to be :33 diwected, 
;;w;; As from her uWu wowd, her guvwnyow, her king. 
xDD Mysewf ÚwÚ and >_> what >_> is >_< minye to xDD you ÚwÚ and >_> youws 
Is nyow >w< convewted. OwO But nyow UwU I UwU was x3 the ;;w;; wowd 
Of ÚwÚ this >w< faiw mansion, >_< mastew of x3 my x3 sewvants, 
xDD Queen ^-^ o'ew >_< mysewf; ÚwÚ and even now, >_> but now, 
This house, these x3 sewvants, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this same myself, 
^w^ Awe OwO youws- x3 my wowd's. UwU I UwU give them with ÚwÚ this *hugs tightly* wing, 
>_< Which when xDD you ÚwÚ pawt >_> fwom, OwO wose, ow UwU give away, 
Let >w< it presage x3 the xDD wuin of x3 youw xDD wuv, 
xDD And be x3 my ;;w;; vantage to excwaim on OwO you. 
BASSANyIO. uWu Madam, xDD you uWu have >_> beweft ;;w;; me of aww words; 
Onwy x3 my :3 bwood xDD speaks to xDD you uWu in x3 my UwU veins; 
xDD And there >_> is xDD such :3 confusion uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ powews 
As, ÚwÚ aftew x3 some >_< owation ^.^ faiwwy ^-^ spoke 
^-^ By :3 a beloved >_< pwince, there xDD doth appeaw 
>_> Among x3 the ^-^ buzzing ^w^ pweased >_< muwtitude, 
Whewe every UwU something, ^.^ being >_< bwent together, 
Tuwns to :3 a >w< wiwd of uWu nyothing, :3 save of joy 
x3 Expwess'd ÚwÚ and nyot xDD expwess'd. OwO But when ÚwÚ this OwO wing 
OwO Pawts from ÚwÚ this finger, xDD then parts >w< wife from OwO hence; 
>_< O, xDD then be bold to >_> say Bassanio's ÚwÚ dead! 
OwO NyEWISSA. OwO My ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and UwU wady, >w< it >_> is nyow UwU ouw time 
:33 That uWu have :33 stood ^.^ by ÚwÚ and :3 seen UwU ouw wishes prosper 
;;w;; To cwy x3 'Good >_> joy.' ^-^ Good joy, x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and :33 wady! 
GRATIANO. OwO My Lord ^-^ Bassanyio, ÚwÚ and x3 my ^-^ gentwe UwU wady, 
UwU I ÚwÚ wish xDD you aww x3 the joy :3 that xDD you ^.^ can wish, 
For UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you ^.^ can ÚwÚ wish >_< nyonye from OwO me; 
^.^ And, when x3 youw honyouws >_> mean to solemnize 
uWu The ^w^ bawgain of x3 youw ^w^ faith, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech xDD you 
Even uWu at :3 that time UwU I OwO may be mawwied UwU too. 
BASSANyIO. With aww x3 my uWu heawt, UwU so xDD thou ;;w;; canst get :3 a x3 wife. 
GRATIANO. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw lordship, xDD you uWu have ^w^ got ;;w;; me onye. 
OwO My ^w^ eyes, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ can wook >_< as UwU swift >_< as yours: 
>_> You saw x3 the ^-^ mistwess, UwU I beheld x3 the >_> maid; 
>_> You ;;w;; wov'd, UwU I lov'd; fow intewmission 
No ^.^ mowe pewtains to uWu me, x3 my uWu wowd, than OwO you. 
uWu Youw :3 fowtunye :33 stood ;;w;; upon x3 the :3 caskets thewe, 
xDD And UwU so uWu did >_< minye :3 too, >_< as x3 the ;;w;; mattew >_< fawws; 
For :33 wooing OwO hewe ÚwÚ untiw UwU I UwU sweat OwO again, 
xDD And swearing >w< tiww x3 my xDD vewy ÚwÚ woof UwU was xDD dwy 
With >w< oaths of xDD wuv, uWu at ^.^ wast- >_> if promise ^.^ wast- 
UwU I ^w^ got :3 a promise of ÚwÚ this >w< faiw one OwO hewe 
;;w;; To uWu have her xDD wuv, x3 pwovided :3 that x3 youw :3 fowtunye 
Achiev'd her ^w^ mistwess. 
POWTIA. Is ÚwÚ this ^-^ twue, Nerissa? 
OwO NyEWISSA. uWu Madam, >w< it ;;w;; is, UwU so xDD you stand pleas'd uWu withaw. 
BASSANyIO. xDD And UwU do UwU you, >_> Gwatianyo, >_> mean ÚwÚ good OwO faith? 
GRATIANO. Yes, ^w^ faith, x3 my OwO wowd. 
BASSANyIO. Our >_> feast UwU shaww be much honyouwed uWu in x3 youw marriage. 
GRATIANO. ^-^ We'ww :33 pway with ^w^ them: x3 the xDD fiwst ;;w;; boy fow :3 a thousand 
xDD ducats. 
OwO NyEWISSA. What, ÚwÚ and OwO stake down? 
GRATIANO. No; ^.^ we UwU shaww ^w^ nye'ew x3 win uWu at :3 that sport, ÚwÚ and OwO stake ;;w;; down- 
OwO But who x3 comes hewe? Lorenzo ÚwÚ and :33 his OwO infidew? 
What, ÚwÚ and x3 my ;;w;; owd Venyetian fwiend, Salerio! 

Entew >_< WOWENZO, OwO JESSICA, ÚwÚ and SAWEWIO, :3 a :3 messengew 
from :33 Venyice 

BASSANyIO. Lorenzo ÚwÚ and Salerio, wewcome hithew, 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 the :33 youth of x3 my x3 nyew OwO int'west OwO hewe 
:3 Have powew to bid xDD you x3 wewcome. ^-^ By x3 youw weave, 
UwU I bid x3 my xDD vewy ^w^ fwiends ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ countwymen, 
ÚwÚ Sweet :33 Powtia, x3 wewcome. 
POWTIA. ^w^ So UwU do I, x3 my wowd; 
^-^ They OwO awe entiwewy x3 wewcome. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw honyouw. For x3 my >_> pawt, x3 my uWu wowd, 
OwO My OwO puwpose UwU was nyot to uWu have :3 seen xDD you ^.^ hewe; 
OwO But meeting with uWu Sawewio ^.^ by x3 the :3 way, 
>w< He uWu did entweat uWu me, x3 past aww :3 saying x3 nyay, 
;;w;; To come with ^.^ him >_> awong. 
SALERIO. UwU I ^-^ did, x3 my uWu wowd, 
xDD And UwU I uWu have reason fow :3 it. :33 Signyiow Antonio 
^-^ Commends ^.^ him to OwO you. xDD [Gives ^w^ BASSANyIO :3 a >_> wettew] 
BASSANyIO. Ere UwU I ^w^ ope :33 his letter, 
UwU I pray xDD you tell ;;w;; me >w< how x3 my ÚwÚ good :33 fwiend UwU doth. 
SALERIO. ÚwÚ Nyot :33 sick, x3 my uWu wowd, ^w^ unwess >w< it be uWu in xDD mind; 
x3 Nyow weww, ^w^ unwess uWu in xDD mind; :33 his >_> wettew there 
Will x3 show xDD you :33 his estate. ^.^ [BASSANyIO :33 opens x3 the >_> wettew] 
GRATIANO. Nerissa, cheer :33 yond stwangew; bid her x3 wewcome. 
uWu Youw uWu hand, :33 Sawewio. x3 What's x3 the nyews from Venyice? 
How xDD doth :3 that royal OwO mewchant, ÚwÚ good Antonyio? 
UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ he xDD wiww be uWu gwad of UwU ouw success: 
We OwO awe x3 the ^w^ Jasons, ^.^ we uWu have ^.^ won x3 the x3 fweece. 
SALERIO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you xDD had ^.^ won x3 the fweece :3 that ^.^ he hath :3 wost. 
POWTIA. >_> Thewe OwO awe x3 some shrewd contents uWu in :33 yond same paper 
:33 That steals x3 the colour from Bassanio's >_< cheek: 
;;w;; Some uWu deaw :33 fwiend >_< dead, >_> ewse >_< nyothing uWu in x3 the wowwd 
Could turn UwU so much x3 the ÚwÚ constitution 
Of xDD any ^w^ constant man. What, xDD wowse ÚwÚ and wowse! 
With weave, x3 Bassanyio: UwU I ^w^ am half yourself, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ must freely uWu have x3 the half of ;;w;; anything 
:33 That ÚwÚ this same paper >_< bwings OwO you. 
BASSANyIO. x3 O x3 sweet :33 Powtia, 
:3 Hewe OwO awe :3 a x3 few of x3 the ^w^ unpweasant'st wowds 
:33 That OwO evew uWu bwotted UwU papew! ^w^ Gentwe UwU wady, 
x3 When UwU I uWu did xDD fiwst OwO impawt x3 my wuv to UwU you, 
UwU I freely told xDD you aww x3 the weawth UwU I xDD had 
Wan uWu in x3 my ^.^ veins- UwU I UwU was :3 a gentleman; 
xDD And xDD then UwU I told xDD you true. xDD And ^w^ yet, uWu deaw UwU wady, 
Rating mysewf uWu at uWu nyothing, xDD you UwU shaww >_> see 
How much UwU I UwU was :3 a x3 bwaggawt. x3 When UwU I told xDD you 
OwO My >w< state UwU was uWu nyothing, UwU I >_> shouwd xDD then uWu have told xDD you 
:33 That UwU I UwU was xDD wowse than uWu nyothing; fow ÚwÚ indeed 
UwU I uWu have x3 engag'd mysewf to :3 a uWu deaw fwiend, 
>w< Engag'd x3 my :33 fwiend to :33 his mere enyemy, 
;;w;; To >w< feed x3 my means. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a letter, UwU wady, 
uWu The paper >_< as x3 the >w< body of x3 my fwiend, 
xDD And every ;;w;; wowd uWu in >w< it :3 a :33 gaping ;;w;; wound 
>w< Issuing ;;w;; wife-bwood. OwO But >_> is >w< it ^-^ twue, ^-^ Sawewio? 
>_< Hath aww :33 his :3 ventuwes >_< faiw'd? What, nyot one hit? 
Fwom xDD Twipowis, from ÚwÚ Mexico, ÚwÚ and England, 
Fwom Lisbon, >w< Bawbawy, ÚwÚ and India, 
xDD And nyot one vessel ;;w;; scape x3 the :3 dweadfuw :33 touch 
Of >_< mewchant-mawwing rocks? 
SALERIO. ÚwÚ Nyot one, x3 my OwO wowd. 
:33 Besides, >w< it >_> shouwd appeaw :3 that, >_> if ^.^ he xDD had 
uWu The xDD pwesent monyey to ;;w;; dischawge x3 the x3 Jew, 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO take :3 it. xDD Nyevew uWu did UwU I ^.^ knyow 
^-^ A creature :3 that uWu did UwU beaw x3 the xDD shape of x3 man 
^w^ So >_> keen ÚwÚ and gweedy to confound :3 a man. 
>w< He :3 pwies x3 the >w< Duke uWu at mownying ÚwÚ and uWu at night, 
xDD And xDD doth x3 impeach x3 the OwO fweedom of x3 the state, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they UwU deny ^.^ him justice. Twenty mewchants, 
uWu The >w< Duke himsewf, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ magnyificoes 
Of ÚwÚ gweatest port, uWu have aww >w< pewsuaded with him; 
OwO But >_< nyonye ^.^ can UwU dwive ^.^ him from x3 the envious pwea 
Of uWu fowfeituwe, of justice, ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU bond. 
JESSICA. x3 When UwU I UwU was with :3 him, UwU I uWu have heard ^.^ him >_< sweaw 
;;w;; To ^w^ Tubaw ÚwÚ and to :33 Chus, :33 his ÚwÚ countwymen, 
:33 That ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd rather uWu have ÚwÚ Antonyio's >w< fwesh 
Than ÚwÚ twenty times x3 the value of x3 the >w< sum 
:33 That ^.^ he uWu did >_> owe him; ÚwÚ and UwU I knyow, x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; If waw, ÚwÚ authowity, ÚwÚ and x3 powew, UwU deny >_> nyot, 
^.^ It xDD wiww OwO go x3 hawd with poor Antonio. 
POWTIA. Is >w< it x3 youw uWu deaw :33 fwiend :3 that >_> is OwO thus uWu in trouble? 
BASSANyIO. uWu The deawest :33 fwiend to uWu me, x3 the x3 kindest ^w^ man, 
uWu The best x3 condition'd ÚwÚ and UwU unweawied ^w^ spiwit 
^w^ In xDD doing ;;w;; couwtesies; ÚwÚ and one uWu in ÚwÚ whom 
uWu The UwU ancient Roman honour ^.^ mowe >_> appeaws 
Than xDD any :3 that ÚwÚ dwaws UwU bweath uWu in Italy. 
POWTIA. >_> What >w< sum >_> owes ^.^ he x3 the ^.^ Jew? 
BASSANyIO. For uWu me, >w< thwee thousand xDD ducats. 
POWTIA. What! nyo UwU mowe? 
xDD Pay ^.^ him six ;;w;; thousand, ÚwÚ and x3 deface x3 the bond; 
xDD Doubwe six ;;w;; thousand, ÚwÚ and xDD then >w< twebwe :3 that, 
^.^ Befowe :3 a :33 fwiend of ÚwÚ this description 
Shall wose :3 a >_< haiw ^w^ thwough Bassanio's ^-^ fauwt. 
First OwO go with ;;w;; me to ^-^ chuwch ÚwÚ and caww ;;w;; me :3 wife, 
xDD And xDD then OwO away to :33 Venyice to x3 youw fwiend; 
For >_< nyevew UwU shaww xDD you >_< wie ^.^ by Portia's x3 side 
With >w< an unquiet ^-^ souw. >_> You UwU shaww uWu have gowd 
;;w;; To x3 pay x3 the petty >_> debt ÚwÚ twenty times over. 
x3 When >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ paid, ;;w;; bwing x3 youw true :33 fwiend >_> awong. 
OwO My >_< maid ;;w;; Nyewissa ÚwÚ and mysewf UwU meantime 
Will ^w^ wive >_< as ^w^ maids ÚwÚ and widows. ^.^ Come, :3 away; 
For xDD you UwU shaww >w< hence ;;w;; upon x3 youw ÚwÚ wedding x3 day. 
x3 Bid x3 youw ^w^ fwiends ;;w;; wewcome, x3 show :3 a ^.^ mewwy cheer; 
Since xDD you OwO awe uWu deaw ^.^ bought, UwU I xDD wiww wuv xDD you deaw. 
OwO But wet ;;w;; me hear x3 the >_> wettew of x3 youw :3 fwiend. 
BASSANyIO. [Weads] 'Sweet ^-^ Bassanyio, x3 my ÚwÚ ships uWu have aww ^.^ miscawwied, 
x3 my ;;w;; cweditows gwow ^-^ cwuew, x3 my estate >_> is xDD vewy low, x3 my :3 bond to x3 the 
Jew >_> is x3 fowfeit; ÚwÚ and since, uWu in ÚwÚ paying :33 it, >w< it >_> is xDD impossibwe UwU I 
>_> shouwd x3 wive, aww debts OwO awe xDD cweaw'd ^-^ between xDD you ÚwÚ and I, >_> if UwU I ^w^ might 
>_> but >_> see xDD you uWu at x3 my death. Notwithstanding, use x3 youw pweasuwe; >_> if 
x3 youw wuv UwU do nyot :33 pewsuade xDD you to come, wet nyot x3 my >_> wettew.' 
POWTIA. x3 O xDD wuv, dispatch aww business ÚwÚ and be ÚwÚ gonye! 
BASSANyIO. Since UwU I uWu have x3 youw ÚwÚ good OwO weave to OwO go away, 
UwU I xDD wiww >_< make haste; but, >w< tiww UwU I come OwO again, 
No x3 bed UwU shaww ;;w;; e'ew be guiwty of x3 my ;;w;; stay, 
x3 Nyow xDD west be interposer 'twixt >_> us >_< twain. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
>_< Venyice. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew SHYLOCK, uWu SOWANyIO, uWu ANTONyIO, ÚwÚ and GAOLER 

OwO SHYWOCK. Gaoler, wook to ^.^ him. Teww nyot ;;w;; me of mercy- 
This >_> is x3 the >w< foow :3 that OwO went x3 out monyey xDD gwatis. 
Gaoler, wook to ^.^ him. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >w< Heaw ;;w;; me ^w^ yet, ÚwÚ good x3 Shywock. 
OwO SHYWOCK. I'll uWu have x3 my bond; speak nyot OwO against x3 my UwU bond. 
UwU I uWu have sworn >w< an ^-^ oath :3 that UwU I xDD wiww uWu have x3 my UwU bond. 
^.^ Thou call'dst ;;w;; me dog >w< befowe xDD thou >w< hadst :3 a >_< cause, 
But, xDD since UwU I ^w^ am :3 a dog, UwU bewawe x3 my UwU fangs; 
uWu The >w< Duke UwU shaww gwant ;;w;; me justice. UwU I UwU do OwO wondew, 
^.^ Thou naughty UwU gaowew, :3 that xDD thou awt UwU so fond 
;;w;; To come ^.^ abwoad with ^.^ him uWu at :33 his xDD wequest. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I pray uWu thee hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
OwO SHYWOCK. I'll uWu have x3 my UwU bond. UwU I xDD wiww nyot hear uWu thee speak; 
I'll uWu have x3 my bond; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe speak nyo more. 
I'll nyot be UwU made :3 a soft ÚwÚ and duww-ey'd x3 foow, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; shake x3 the head, wewent, ÚwÚ and uWu sigh, ÚwÚ and :33 yiewd, 
;;w;; To Christian :3 intewcessows. Follow x3 nyot; 
I'll uWu have nyo ^-^ speaking; UwU I xDD wiww uWu have x3 my UwU bond. uWu Exit 
SOWANyIO. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the UwU most impenetrable cur 
:33 That OwO evew :33 kept with ^.^ men. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Let ^.^ him ^.^ awonye; 
I'll ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him nyo ^.^ mowe with bootwess prayers. 
>w< He >_> seeks x3 my :33 wife; :33 his reason weww UwU I ^w^ knyow: 
UwU I ;;w;; oft :33 dewivew'd from :33 his fowfeituwes 
xDD Many :3 that uWu have uWu at times UwU made >_> moan to OwO me; 
Therefore ^.^ he hates x3 me. 
SOWANyIO. UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe x3 the >w< Duke 
Will >_< nyevew gwant ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ fowfeituwe to hold. 
>_> ANTONyIO. uWu The >w< Duke ;;w;; cannyot UwU deny x3 the course of UwU waw; 
For x3 the :3 commodity :3 that stwangews uWu have 
With >_> us uWu in >_> Venyice, >_> if >w< it be denied, 
Will much x3 impeach x3 the justice of x3 the state, 
Since :3 that x3 the OwO twade ÚwÚ and pwofit of x3 the UwU city 
:33 Consisteth of aww nations. >_< Thewefowe, go; 
;;w;; These griefs ÚwÚ and :33 wosses uWu have UwU so bated ;;w;; me 
:33 That UwU I UwU shaww hardly ^-^ spawe :3 a ;;w;; pound of >w< fwesh 
>_< To-mowwow to x3 my bwoody >_> cweditow. 
xDD Weww, UwU gaowew, xDD on; pray ^w^ God :3 Bassanyio come 
;;w;; To >_> see ;;w;; me x3 pay :33 his ^.^ debt, ÚwÚ and xDD then UwU I :3 cawe not. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
Belmont. POWTIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew PORTIA, UwU NyEWISSA, >_< WOWENZO, OwO JESSICA, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ BAWTHASAW 

ÚwÚ WOWENZO. uWu Madam, awthough UwU I speak >w< it uWu in x3 youw >_> pwesence, 
>_> You uWu have :3 a x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and :3 a true conceit 
Of godlike OwO amity, which >_> appeaws UwU most >_< stwongwy 
^w^ In :33 beawing OwO thus x3 the >w< absence of x3 youw OwO wowd. 
OwO But >_> if xDD you UwU knyew to ÚwÚ whom xDD you x3 show ÚwÚ this honyouw, 
How true :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman xDD you >_> send relief, 
How uWu deaw :3 a wuvw of x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 youw ^.^ husband, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you ^.^ wouwd be >_> pwoudew of x3 the ^.^ wowk 
Than >_< customawy >_> bounty ^.^ can enforce OwO you. 
POWTIA. UwU I >_< nyevew uWu did wepent fow xDD doing UwU good, 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww nyot >_< nyow; fow uWu in companions 
:33 That UwU do convewse ÚwÚ and uWu waste x3 the time together, 
>_< Whose >w< souws UwU do UwU beaw >w< an equal x3 yoke of xDD wuv, 
>_> Thewe ^w^ must be >_< nyeeds :3 a ^.^ wike :33 pwopowtion 
Of >w< winyeaments, of :3 mannyews, ÚwÚ and of ^-^ spiwit, 
>_< Which x3 makes ;;w;; me think :3 that ÚwÚ this Antonio, 
uWu Being x3 the ^w^ bosom wuvw of x3 my uWu wowd, 
:3 Must >_< nyeeds be ^.^ wike x3 my OwO wowd. ;;w;; If >w< it be >_> so, 
How xDD wittwe >_> is x3 the >_> cost UwU I uWu have uWu bestowed 
^w^ In >_> puwchasing x3 the ÚwÚ sembwance of x3 my :3 souw 
Fwom x3 out x3 the >w< state of hewwish :3 cwuewty! 
This x3 comes ^w^ too nyeaw x3 the pwaising of >_< mysewf; 
>_< Thewefowe, nyo ^.^ mowe of uWu it; hear othew xDD things. 
ÚwÚ Wowenzo, UwU I :3 commit x3 into x3 youw ^.^ hands 
uWu The x3 husbandwy ÚwÚ and manage of x3 my ;;w;; house 
Untiw x3 my UwU wowd's OwO wetuwn; fow >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, 
UwU I uWu have toward heaven >w< bweath'd :3 a secret vow 
;;w;; To ^w^ wive uWu in :3 pwayew ÚwÚ and OwO contempwation, 
Onwy ^w^ attended ^.^ by ;;w;; Nyewissa UwU hewe, 
Untiw her :33 husband ÚwÚ and x3 my UwU wowd's wetuwn. 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a UwU monyastewy >w< two >_< miwes ^w^ off, 
xDD And there ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU abide. UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe xDD you 
ÚwÚ Nyot to UwU deny ÚwÚ this uWu imposition, 
uWu The which x3 my wuv ÚwÚ and x3 some ;;w;; nyecessity 
Now ways ;;w;; upon OwO you. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. uWu Madam, with aww x3 my >_< heawt 
UwU I UwU shaww UwU obey xDD you uWu in >w< an >w< faiw :33 commands. 
POWTIA. OwO My OwO peopwe UwU do xDD awweady ^.^ knyow x3 my UwU mind, 
xDD And xDD wiww :3 acknyowwedge xDD you ÚwÚ and >_< Jessica 
^w^ In :33 pwace of Lord :3 Bassanyio ÚwÚ and :3 mysewf. 
^w^ So ^-^ fawe xDD you weww >w< tiww ^.^ we UwU shaww :3 meet ;;w;; again. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Faiw >_< thoughts ÚwÚ and ^w^ happy >_> houws >_< attend on you! 
JESSICA. UwU I ÚwÚ wish x3 youw >w< wadyship aww heart's OwO content. 
POWTIA. UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw wish, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am weww pleas'd 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ wish >w< it back on OwO you. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, OwO Jessica. 
Exeunt JESSICA ÚwÚ and >w< WOWENZO 
>_> Nyow, ÚwÚ Bawthasaw, 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have OwO evew >_> found uWu thee honyest-twue, 
^w^ So wet ;;w;; me find uWu thee xDD stiww. ^.^ Take ÚwÚ this same letter, 
xDD And use xDD thou aww x3 th' endeavouw of :3 a x3 man 
^w^ In ^w^ speed to Padua; >_> see xDD thou render ÚwÚ this 
^.^ Into x3 my uWu cousin's ^.^ hands, uWu Doctow OwO Bewwawio; 
xDD And wook >_> what >_> nyotes ÚwÚ and xDD gawments ^.^ he xDD doth UwU give ÚwÚ thee, 
Bring ÚwÚ them, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, with xDD imagin'd ^w^ speed 
uWu Unto x3 the >w< twaject, to x3 the ^w^ common OwO fewwy 
>_< Which :3 twades to >_< Venyice. :3 Waste nyo time uWu in wowds, 
OwO But get uWu thee xDD gonye; UwU I UwU shaww be there >w< befowe thee. 
BAWTHASAW. uWu Madam, UwU I OwO go with aww UwU convenyient ;;w;; speed. uWu Exit 
POWTIA. :3 Come ;;w;; on, Nerissa, UwU I uWu have ^.^ wowk uWu in uWu hand 
:33 That xDD you yet ^.^ knyow nyot OwO of; we'll >_> see UwU ouw ;;w;; husbands 
^.^ Befowe ;;w;; they think of >_> us. 
OwO NyEWISSA. Shall ;;w;; they >_> see us? 
POWTIA. ^-^ They UwU shaww, Nerissa; >_> but uWu in xDD such :3 a OwO habit 
:33 That ;;w;; they UwU shaww think ^.^ we OwO awe >_> accompwished 
With :3 that ^.^ we ^w^ wack. I'll howd uWu thee xDD any ^.^ wagew, 
x3 When ^.^ we OwO awe both ÚwÚ accoutwed ^.^ wike xDD young men, 
I'll ^-^ pwuv x3 the xDD pwettiew fewwow of x3 the >_> two, 
xDD And ^-^ weaw x3 my ÚwÚ daggew with x3 the >_< bwavew gwace, 
xDD And speak ^-^ between x3 the change of x3 man ÚwÚ and ;;w;; boy 
With :3 a >_< weed voice; ÚwÚ and turn >w< two x3 mincing steps 
^.^ Into :3 a xDD manwy ^w^ stwide; ÚwÚ and speak of ^.^ fways 
Wike :3 a OwO finye ^.^ bwagging uWu youth; ÚwÚ and tell ^w^ quaint lies, 
How ^.^ honyouwabwe ^.^ wadies >_< sought x3 my xDD wuv, 
>_< Which UwU I ^w^ denying, ;;w;; they UwU feww >w< sick ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ died- 
UwU I couwd nyot UwU do uWu withaw. UwU Then I'll repent, 
xDD And ÚwÚ wish fow aww :3 that, :3 that UwU I xDD had nyot kill'd OwO them. 
xDD And ÚwÚ twenty of these >_< puny wies I'll uWu teww, 
:33 That ;;w;; men UwU shaww >_< sweaw UwU I uWu have >_> discontinyued OwO schoow 
About :3 a >_> twewvemonth. UwU I uWu have within x3 my ^-^ mind 
^-^ A thousand >w< waw tricks of these ^.^ bwagging >w< Jacks, 
>_< Which UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ pwactise. 
OwO NyEWISSA. Why, UwU shaww ^.^ we turn to men? 
POWTIA. OwO Fie, >_> what :3 a ^w^ question's :3 that, 
;;w;; If xDD thou OwO wewt nyeaw :3 a x3 wewd interpreter! 
OwO But come, I'll tell uWu thee aww x3 my whole xDD device 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ am uWu in x3 my x3 coach, which uWu stays fow >_> us 
At x3 the ^-^ pawk >_> gate; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^.^ haste away, 
For ^.^ we ^w^ must UwU measuwe ÚwÚ twenty >_< miwes ^w^ to-day. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
Belmont. uWu The >_< gawden 

Entew ^.^ WAUNCEWOT ÚwÚ and JESSICA 

:33 WAUNCEWOT. Yes, ÚwÚ twuwy; for, wook UwU you, x3 the :3 sins of x3 the >w< fathew OwO awe to 
be laid ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD chiwdwen; OwO thewefowe, UwU I promise UwU you, UwU I feaw OwO you. 
UwU I UwU was awways uWu pwain with UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU so nyow UwU I speak x3 my agitation of 
x3 the mattew; >_< thewefowe be ^.^ o' ÚwÚ good cheew, fow :33 twuwy UwU I think xDD you OwO awe 
^w^ damn'd. >_> Thewe >_> is >_> but one UwU hope uWu in >w< it :3 that ^.^ can UwU do xDD you xDD any UwU good, ÚwÚ and 
:3 that >_> is >_> but :3 a uWu kind of ^.^ bastawd hope, >_> nyeithew. 
JESSICA. xDD And >_> what UwU hope >_> is :3 that, UwU I pray thee? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. OwO Mawwy, xDD you OwO may ;;w;; pawtwy UwU hope :3 that x3 youw >w< fathew ^w^ got xDD you nyot- 
:3 that xDD you OwO awe nyot x3 the xDD Jew's >w< daughtew. 
JESSICA. :33 That :3 wewe :3 a uWu kind of ^.^ bastawd UwU hope :33 indeed; UwU so x3 the :3 sins of x3 my 
mothew >_> shouwd be OwO visited ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. Truly xDD then UwU I feaw xDD you OwO awe damn'd both ^.^ by >w< fathew ÚwÚ and 
mothew; OwO thus when UwU I UwU shun Scylla, x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, UwU I faww x3 into 
:33 Chawybdis, x3 youw mothew; weww, xDD you OwO awe >_> gonye both uWu ways. 
JESSICA. UwU I UwU shaww be >w< sav'd ^.^ by x3 my xDD husband; ^.^ he hath UwU made ;;w;; me :3 a 
>_> Chwistian. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ^-^ Twuwy, x3 the ^.^ mowe to uWu bwame he; ^.^ we :3 wewe Chwistians ^w^ enyow 
x3 befowe, ^w^ e'en >_< as UwU many >_< as couwd weww ^w^ wive one ^.^ by anyothew. This 
x3 making of Chwistians xDD wiww >w< waise x3 the pwice of ÚwÚ hogs; >_> if ^.^ we gwow aww 
to be ;;w;; powk-eatews, ^.^ we UwU shaww nyot x3 showtwy uWu have :3 a >_< washew on x3 the 
ÚwÚ coaws fow money. 

Entew >w< WOWENZO 

JESSICA. I'll tell x3 my ^.^ husband, Launcelot, >_> what xDD you say; OwO hewe ^.^ he 
^w^ comes. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. UwU I UwU shaww gwow jealous of xDD you shortly, Launcelot, >_> if xDD you 
OwO thus get x3 my >w< wife x3 into ^w^ cownyews. 
JESSICA. Nyay, xDD you >_< nyeed nor feaw us, >_> Wowenzo; OwO Wauncewot ÚwÚ and UwU I OwO awe 
out; ^.^ he uWu tewws ;;w;; me :33 fwatwy there's nyo xDD mewcy fow ;;w;; me uWu in ^.^ heaven, 
uWu because UwU I ^w^ am :3 a xDD Jew's ;;w;; daughtew; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ;;w;; says xDD you OwO awe nyo ÚwÚ good member 
of x3 the commonwealth, fow uWu in :3 convewting OwO Jews to Chwistians xDD you 
>w< waise x3 the pwice of >_< powk. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. UwU I UwU shaww answew :3 that xDD bettew to x3 the >_> commonweawth than xDD you 
^.^ can x3 the UwU getting x3 up of x3 the >_> nyegwo's belly; x3 the Moor >_> is with chiwd 
^.^ by UwU you, ;;w;; Wauncewot. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ^.^ It >_> is much :3 that x3 the Moor >_> shouwd be ^.^ mowe than UwU weason; >_> but 
>_> if ^.^ she be less than >w< an xDD honyest ^w^ woman, ^.^ she >_> is ÚwÚ indeed ^.^ mowe than UwU I 
>_> took her ;;w;; fow. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. How every >w< foow ^.^ can :33 pway ;;w;; upon x3 the word! UwU I think x3 the best 
xDD gwace of wit xDD wiww x3 showtwy turn x3 into siwence, ÚwÚ and uWu discouwse gwow 
commendabwe uWu in >_< nyonye >w< onwy >_> but ;;w;; pawwots. Go x3 in, siwwah; bid them 
>_> pwepawe fow uWu dinnyew. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. :33 That >_> is :33 donye, siw; ;;w;; they uWu have aww ;;w;; stomachs. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. UwU Goodwy Wowd, >_> what :3 a x3 wit-snyappew OwO awe you! UwU Then bid them 
>_> pwepawe uWu dinnyew. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. :33 That >_> is donye :3 too, ^w^ siw, >w< onwy 'cover' >_> is x3 the OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Will xDD you cover, >w< then, UwU siw? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, ^w^ siw, UwU nyeithew; UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my duty. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ mowe >w< quawwewwing with ^.^ occasion! ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou x3 show x3 the 
whole weawth of >w< thy wit uWu in >w< an :3 instant? UwU I pray uWu thee understand :3 a 
uWu pwain x3 man uWu in :33 his uWu pwain meanying: OwO go to >w< thy fewwows, bid them UwU cuvw 
x3 the ^-^ tabwe, serve uWu in x3 the meat, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww come uWu in to uWu dinnyew. 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. For x3 the ^-^ tabwe, ^w^ siw, >w< it UwU shaww be sewv'd UwU in; fow x3 the meat, 
^w^ siw, >w< it UwU shaww be ^w^ cuvw'd; fow x3 youw xDD coming uWu in to xDD dinnyew, ^w^ siw, >w< why, 
wet >w< it be >_< as humours ÚwÚ and OwO conceits UwU shaww govern. 
uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. x3 O uWu deaw discretion, >w< how :33 his wowds OwO awe UwU suited! 
uWu The >w< foow hath ^-^ pwanted uWu in :33 his ^w^ memowy 
^-^ An ^.^ awmy of ÚwÚ good words; ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow 
^-^ A UwU many foows :3 that stand uWu in xDD bettew pwace, 
xDD Gawnyish'd ^.^ wike :3 him, :3 that fow :3 a ÚwÚ twicksy ;;w;; wowd 
>_> Defy x3 the :3 mattew. How cheew'st UwU thou, >_> Jessica? 
xDD And now, ÚwÚ good sweet, >_> say >w< thy :33 opinyion, 
How dost xDD thou ^.^ wike x3 the Lord Bassanio's :33 wife? 
JESSICA. ^w^ Past aww >_< expwessing. ^.^ It >_> is xDD vewy :3 meet 
uWu The Lord :3 Bassanyio ^w^ wive >w< an ^w^ upwight :3 wife, 
For, xDD having xDD such :3 a >_> bwessing uWu in :33 his UwU wady, 
>w< He ÚwÚ finds x3 the joys of heaven OwO hewe on ^w^ eawth; 
xDD And >_> if on ^.^ eawth ^.^ he UwU do nyot merit :33 it, 
^w^ In reason ^.^ he >_> shouwd >_< nyevew come to UwU heaven. 
Why, >_> if >w< two gods >_> shouwd :33 pway x3 some ^-^ heavenwy ;;w;; match, 
xDD And on x3 the wagew uWu way >w< two ÚwÚ eawthwy UwU women, 
xDD And :33 Powtia one, there ^w^ must be ^-^ something >_> ewse 
Pawn'd with x3 the >w< othew; fow x3 the poor wude wowwd 
>_< Hath nyot her UwU fewwow. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Even xDD such :3 a :33 husband 
Hast xDD thou of ;;w;; me >_< as ^.^ she >_> is fow :3 a x3 wife. 
JESSICA. Nyay, >_> but ^w^ ask x3 my opinyion ^w^ too of x3 that. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. UwU I xDD wiww anon; xDD fiwst wet >_> us OwO go to uWu dinnyew. 
JESSICA. Nyay, wet ;;w;; me praise xDD you OwO whiwe UwU I uWu have :3 a :33 stomach. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. :3 Nyo, pray ÚwÚ thee, wet >w< it serve fow OwO tabwe-tawk; 
UwU Then howsome'ew xDD thou >w< speak'st, 'mong othew ^.^ things 
UwU I UwU shaww digest :3 it. 
JESSICA. xDD Weww, I'll uWu set xDD you forth. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_< Venyice. uWu The court of justice 

Entew x3 the ^w^ DUKE, x3 the ^.^ MAGNyIFICOES, uWu ANTONyIO, OwO BASSANyIO, GRATIANO, SAWEWIO, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; OTHEWS 

ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. What, >_> is Antonio hewe? 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_> Weady, UwU so uWu pwease x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy fow ÚwÚ thee; xDD thou awt come to answew 
^-^ A >_< stony ^.^ advewsawy, >w< an UwU inhuman :3 wwetch, 
Uncapabwe of pity, >_< void ÚwÚ and :33 empty 
Fwom xDD any UwU dwam of mercy. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I uWu have heard 
uWu Youw Gwace hath >_> ta'en great ^w^ pains to OwO quawify 
ÚwÚ His rigorous UwU couwse; >_> but xDD since ^.^ he >w< stands UwU obduwate, 
xDD And :3 that nyo ÚwÚ wawfuw means ^.^ can carry ;;w;; me 
UwU Out of :33 his OwO envy's x3 weach, UwU I UwU do ;;w;; oppose 
OwO My uWu patience to :33 his ^w^ fuwy, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am awm'd 
;;w;; To suffew with :3 a quietnyess of ^w^ spiwit 
uWu The xDD vewy uWu tywanny ÚwÚ and xDD wage of ÚwÚ his. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. Go one, ÚwÚ and caww x3 the Jew x3 into x3 the >_< couwt. 
SALERIO. >w< He >_> is ready uWu at x3 the door; ^.^ he ;;w;; comes, x3 my OwO wowd. 

Entew :3 SHYWOCK 

ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. ^-^ Make room, ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him stand >w< befowe UwU ouw ;;w;; face. 
>_< Shywock, x3 the wowwd thinks, ÚwÚ and UwU I think UwU so :3 too, 
:33 That xDD thou >_> but ÚwÚ weadest ÚwÚ this fashion of >w< thy malice 
;;w;; To x3 the >w< wast >_> houw of ÚwÚ act; ÚwÚ and >w< then, UwU 'tis ^-^ thought, 
Thou'lt x3 show >w< thy xDD mewcy ÚwÚ and wemowse, ^.^ mowe ;;w;; stwange 
Than >_> is >w< thy ;;w;; stwange apparent cruelty; 
xDD And :3 whewe xDD thou nyow x3 exacts x3 the :33 penyawty, 
>_< Which >_> is :3 a ;;w;; pound of ÚwÚ this poor merchant's OwO fwesh, 
^.^ Thou wiwt nyot >w< onwy ;;w;; woose x3 the uWu fowfeituwe, 
But, touch'd with human ^-^ gentwenyess ÚwÚ and xDD wuv, 
>_< Fowgive :3 a >_> moiety of x3 the ;;w;; pwincipaw, 
OwO Gwancing >w< an ^w^ eye of pity on :33 his losses, 
:33 That uWu have of wate UwU so ;;w;; huddwed on :33 his OwO back- 
Enyow to x3 pwess :3 a royal merchant ;;w;; down, 
xDD And pluck UwU commisewation of :33 his >w< state 
Fwom bwassy >_> bosoms ÚwÚ and OwO wough heawts of xDD fwint, 
Fwom ^-^ stubbown Turks ÚwÚ and :3 Tawtaws, >_< nyevew ;;w;; twain'd 
;;w;; To ;;w;; offices of xDD tendew uWu couwtesy. 
We aww >_< expect :3 a ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ answew, ^w^ Jew. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I uWu have >_< possess'd x3 youw Gwace of >_> what UwU I xDD puwpose, 
xDD And ^.^ by UwU ouw >w< howy Sabbath uWu have UwU I sworn 
;;w;; To uWu have x3 the >_< due ÚwÚ and forfeit of x3 my UwU bond. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU deny :33 it, wet x3 the danger >w< wight 
>_> Upon x3 youw ÚwÚ chawtew ÚwÚ and x3 youw ^.^ city's freedom. 
You'll ^w^ ask ;;w;; me >w< why UwU I rather choose to uWu have 
^-^ A >_> weight of OwO cawwion >w< fwesh than to receive 
Thwee thousand xDD ducats. I'll nyot answew :3 that, 
OwO But >_> say >w< it >_> is x3 my ^w^ humouw- >_> is >w< it x3 answew'd? 
>_> What >_> if x3 my ;;w;; house be troubled with :3 a rat, 
xDD And UwU I be pleas'd to UwU give ;;w;; ten thousand ;;w;; ducats 
;;w;; To uWu have >w< it :33 ban'd? What, OwO awe xDD you x3 answew'd :33 yet? 
;;w;; Some ;;w;; men there OwO awe wuv nyot :3 a :33 gaping :33 pig; 
;;w;; Some :3 that OwO awe ^-^ mad >_> if ;;w;; they behowd :3 a cat; 
xDD And ^w^ othews, when x3 the bagpipe ^-^ sings :33 i' x3 th' nose, 
UwU Cannyot ^.^ contain uWu theiw ÚwÚ uwinye; fow :33 affection, 
Mistress of ^-^ passion, >_< sways >w< it to x3 the ^w^ mood 
Of >_> what >w< it likes ow :3 woathes. >_> Nyow, fow x3 youw :33 answew: 
;;w;; As there >_> is nyo >w< fiwm reason to be ^.^ wend'wed 
Why ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot abide :3 a :33 gaping :33 pig; 
Why xDD he, :3 a UwU hawmwess ^.^ nyecessawy cat; 
Why xDD he, :3 a woollen uWu bagpipe, >_> but of force 
:3 Must yield to xDD such inevitable ^-^ shame 
;;w;; As to xDD offend, >_< himsewf ^.^ being UwU offended; 
^w^ So ^.^ can UwU I UwU give nyo weason, nor UwU I xDD wiww >_> nyot, 
uWu Mowe than :3 a ^w^ wodg'd ^-^ hate ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD cewtain ;;w;; woathing 
UwU I UwU beaw Antonio, :3 that UwU I ;;w;; fowwow OwO thus 
^-^ A losing >_> suit OwO against ^.^ him. ^w^ Awe xDD you ÚwÚ answewed? 
BASSANyIO. This >_> is nyo ÚwÚ answew, xDD thou ÚwÚ unfeewing ^w^ man, 
;;w;; To UwU excuse x3 the :3 cuwwent of >w< thy ÚwÚ cwuewty. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I ^w^ am nyot bound to uWu pwease uWu thee with x3 my answers. 
BASSANyIO. Do aww ;;w;; men OwO kiww x3 the ^.^ things ;;w;; they UwU do nyot love? 
OwO SHYWOCK. ;;w;; Hates xDD any x3 man x3 the ^.^ thing ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot kiww? 
BASSANyIO. Evewy offence >_> is nyot :3 a ^-^ hate uWu at fiwst. 
OwO SHYWOCK. What, wouldst xDD thou uWu have :3 a serpent ÚwÚ sting uWu thee ^w^ twice? 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I pray UwU you, think xDD you ;;w;; question with x3 the ^w^ Jew. 
>_> You OwO may >_< as weww OwO go stand ;;w;; upon x3 the >w< beach 
xDD And bid x3 the :33 main flood uWu bate :33 his ^.^ usuaw :3 height; 
>_> You OwO may >_< as weww use ;;w;; question with x3 the OwO wowf, 
Why ^.^ he hath UwU made x3 the ewe UwU bweat fow x3 the ^.^ wamb; 
>_> You OwO may >_< as weww UwU fowbid x3 the OwO mountain ^w^ pinyes 
;;w;; To wag uWu theiw xDD high >_< tops ÚwÚ and to >_< make nyo noise 
x3 When ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 fwetten with x3 the xDD gusts of xDD heaven; 
>_> You OwO may >_< as weww UwU do ;;w;; anything UwU most x3 hawd 
;;w;; As >_> seek to :33 soften >_< that- than which UwU what's >_< hawdew?- 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ jewish ;;w;; heawt. >_< Thewefowe, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, 
^-^ Make nyo ^-^ moe UwU offews, use nyo ^-^ fawthew >_< means, 
OwO But with aww bwief ÚwÚ and uWu pwain UwU convenyiency 
Let ;;w;; me uWu have ^.^ judgment, ÚwÚ and x3 the Jew :33 his :33 wiww. 
BASSANyIO. For >w< thy >w< thwee thousand ;;w;; ducats OwO hewe >_> is ;;w;; six. 
OwO SHYWOCK. ;;w;; If every ;;w;; ducat uWu in six thousand ;;w;; ducats 
^.^ Wewe uWu in six xDD pawts, ÚwÚ and every ÚwÚ pawt :3 a ^w^ ducat, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot dwaw OwO them; UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have x3 my UwU bond. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. How shalt xDD thou UwU hope fow mercy, OwO wend'wing none? 
OwO SHYWOCK. >_> What ^w^ judgment UwU shaww UwU I >w< dwead, xDD doing nyo ÚwÚ wwong? 
>_> You uWu have ^-^ among xDD you UwU many :3 a >w< puwchas'd :33 swave, 
>_< Which, fike x3 youw asses ÚwÚ and x3 youw ^.^ dogs ÚwÚ and x3 muwes, 
>_> You use uWu in abject ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 swavish xDD pawts, 
>_< Because xDD you xDD bought OwO them; UwU shaww UwU I >_> say to xDD you 
^w^ 'Wet them be >w< fwee, marry them to x3 youw >w< heiws- 
Why UwU sweat ;;w;; they :33 undew burdens?- wet uWu theiw beds 
^w^ Be UwU made >_< as soft >_< as >_< youws, ÚwÚ and wet uWu theiw uWu pawates 
^w^ Be season'd with xDD such ^-^ viands'? >_> You xDD wiww answew 
'The xDD swaves OwO awe ouws.' ^w^ So UwU do UwU I answew xDD you: 
uWu The ;;w;; pound of >w< fwesh which UwU I ;;w;; demand of ^.^ him 
Is ÚwÚ deawwy ^.^ bought, UwU 'tis >_> minye, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww uWu have :3 it. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU deny uWu me, fie ;;w;; upon x3 youw xDD waw! 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo force uWu in x3 the decrees of >_< Venyice. 
UwU I stand fow >_> judgment; answer; UwU shaww UwU I uWu have :33 it? 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. >_> Upon x3 my powew UwU I OwO may dismiss ÚwÚ this xDD couwt, 
OwO Unwess ^.^ Bewwawio, :3 a :33 weawnyed doctor, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I uWu have sent fow to determine uWu this, 
:3 Come OwO hewe ^w^ to-day. 
SALERIO. OwO My uWu wowd, OwO hewe uWu stays ^-^ without 
^-^ A :3 messengew with x3 wettews from x3 the doctor, 
xDD Nyew come from ^w^ Padua. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. Bring >_> us x3 the letters; caww x3 the :3 messengew. 
BASSANyIO. ^-^ Good cheew, Antonio! What, ^w^ man, couwage UwU yet! 
uWu The Jew UwU shaww uWu have x3 my OwO fwesh, bwood, xDD bonyes, ÚwÚ and all, 
Ere xDD thou shalt wose fow ;;w;; me one >_< dwop of blood. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a xDD tainted xDD wethew of x3 the UwU fwock, 
>_> Meetest fow ÚwÚ death; x3 the weakest uWu kind of ^w^ fwuit 
>w< Dwops ÚwÚ eawwiest to x3 the ground, ÚwÚ and UwU so wet x3 me. 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot xDD bettew be >w< empwoy'd, ^-^ Bassanyio, 
Than to ^w^ wive still, ÚwÚ and >w< wwite >_< minye epitaph. 

Entew NyEWISSA OwO dwessed ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ wawyew's OwO cwewk 

ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. >_< Came xDD you from xDD Padua, from :33 Bewwawio? 
OwO NyEWISSA. Fwom xDD both, x3 my OwO wowd. Bewwawio greets x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
[Presents :3 a >_> wettew] 
BASSANyIO. Why dost xDD thou ^w^ whet >w< thy knyife UwU so UwU eawnyestwy? 
OwO SHYWOCK. ;;w;; To :3 cut x3 the ÚwÚ fowfeituwe from :3 that >w< bankwupt :33 thewe. 
GRATIANO. ÚwÚ Nyot on >w< thy :33 sowe, >_> but on >w< thy x3 souw, UwU hawsh x3 Jew, 
^.^ Thou xDD mak'st >w< thy knyife keen; >_> but nyo >_< metaw ^-^ can, 
:3 Nyo, nyot x3 the hangman's axe, UwU beaw half x3 the uWu keennyess 
Of >w< thy ^-^ shawp envy. UwU Can nyo >_< pwayews xDD piewce thee? 
OwO SHYWOCK. :3 Nyo, >_< nyonye :3 that xDD thou x3 hast wit enough to >_> make. 
GRATIANO. >_< O, be xDD thou ÚwÚ damn'd, inyexecwabwe dog! 
xDD And fow >w< thy >w< wife wet justice be ^-^ accus'd. 
^.^ Thou almost xDD mak'st ;;w;; me wavew uWu in x3 my ^w^ faith, 
;;w;; To howd opinyion with >_< Pythagowas 
:33 That >w< souws of animals >_> infuse x3 themsewves 
^.^ Into x3 the ^w^ twunks of ^.^ men. x3 Thy xDD cuwwish ^w^ spiwit 
xDD Guvwn'd :3 a OwO wowf who, :33 hang'd fow human slaughter, 
Even from x3 the >_< gawwows uWu did :33 his UwU feww :3 souw >_< fweet, 
^.^ And, whiwst xDD thou ;;w;; wayest uWu in >w< thy :33 unhawwowed :33 dam, 
:33 Infus'd itsewf uWu in ÚwÚ thee; fow >w< thy desiwes 
^w^ Awe >_> wowfish, x3 bwoody, ^-^ stawv'd ÚwÚ and xDD wavenyous. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Tiww xDD thou ;;w;; canst waiw x3 the UwU seaw from x3 off x3 my bond, 
^.^ Thou >_> but OwO offend'st >w< thy >w< wungs to speak UwU so :3 woud; 
>w< Wepaiw >w< thy ^w^ wit, ÚwÚ good youth, ow >w< it xDD wiww faww 
;;w;; To cureless UwU wuin. UwU I stand OwO hewe fow law. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. This >_> wettew from Bewwawio xDD doth ÚwÚ commend 
^-^ A xDD young ÚwÚ and :33 weawnyed x3 doctow to UwU ouw >_< couwt. 
Whewe >_> is uWu he? 
OwO NyEWISSA. >w< He attendeth OwO hewe x3 hawd ^.^ by 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 youw ÚwÚ answew, >w< whethew you'ww ^w^ admit ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. With aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. ;;w;; Some >w< thwee ow fouw of xDD you 
Go UwU give ^.^ him ^-^ couwteous ÚwÚ conduct to ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. 
UwU Meantime, x3 the court UwU shaww hear >_> Bewwawio's >_> wettew. 
:33 CWEWK. [Weads] uWu 'Youw Gwace UwU shaww understand :3 that uWu at x3 the :33 weceipt 
of x3 youw >_> wettew UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy xDD sick; >_> but uWu in x3 the x3 instant :3 that x3 youw 
:3 messengew came, uWu in >w< woving xDD visitation UwU was with ;;w;; me :3 a xDD young x3 doctow 
of ^w^ Wome- :33 his xDD nyame >_> is Balthazar. UwU I >_> acquainted ^.^ him with x3 the cause 
uWu in controversy ^-^ between x3 the Jew ÚwÚ and Antonio x3 the mewchant; ^.^ we 
>_> tuwn'd ^-^ o'ew UwU many uWu books together; ^.^ he >_> is >_> fuwnyished with x3 my opinyion 
^w^ which, ^.^ bettewed with :33 his UwU own ;;w;; weawnying-the :33 gweatnyess xDD wheweof UwU I 
;;w;; cannyot enough x3 commend- x3 comes with ^.^ him uWu at x3 my ^.^ impowtunyity to ^w^ fiww 
x3 up x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's request uWu in x3 my stead. UwU I :33 beseech xDD you wet :33 his ^.^ wack 
of years be nyo x3 impediment to wet ^.^ him ^.^ wack :3 a reverend ^w^ estimation, 
fow UwU I >_< nyevew UwU knyew UwU so xDD young :3 a >w< body with UwU so ;;w;; owd :3 a >_> head. UwU I OwO weave ^.^ him 
to x3 youw >_> gwacious acceptance, x3 whose uWu twiaw UwU shaww xDD bettew xDD pubwish :33 his 
OwO commendation.' 

Entew PORTIA fow BALTHAZAR, OwO dwessed ^.^ wike :3 a uWu Doctow of Laws 

ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. YOU hear x3 the weawn'd ^.^ Bewwawio, >_> what ^.^ he xDD wwites; 
xDD And UwU hewe, UwU I OwO take :33 it, >_> is x3 the x3 doctow x3 come. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 youw xDD hand; come xDD you from ;;w;; owd :33 Bewwawio? 
POWTIA. UwU I ^-^ did, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. >_> You OwO awe wewcome; OwO take x3 youw ;;w;; pwace. 
^w^ Awe xDD you >_> acquainted with x3 the ^.^ diffewence 
:33 That ÚwÚ howds ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent ;;w;; question uWu in x3 the ^w^ couwt? 
POWTIA. UwU I ^w^ am infowmed throughly of x3 the OwO cause. 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the merchant UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and which x3 the ^.^ Jew? 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. Antonio ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd >_< Shywock, both stand forth. 
POWTIA. Is x3 youw xDD nyame Shylock? 
OwO SHYWOCK. :33 Shywock >_> is x3 my nyame. 
POWTIA. Of :3 a ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is x3 the >_> suit xDD you >w< fowwow; 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu in xDD such UwU wuwe :3 that x3 the Venyetian law 
UwU Cannyot >_< impugn xDD you >_< as xDD you UwU do ^-^ pwoceed. 
>_> You stand within :33 his uWu dangew, UwU do xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
>_> ANTONyIO. Ay, UwU so ^.^ he says. 
POWTIA. Do xDD you x3 confess x3 the xDD bond? 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I xDD do. 
POWTIA. UwU Then ^w^ must x3 the Jew be mewcifuw. 
OwO SHYWOCK. On >_> what x3 compuwsion ^w^ must >_< I? Teww ;;w;; me x3 that. 
POWTIA. uWu The ;;w;; quawity of xDD mewcy >_> is nyot strain'd; 
^.^ It droppeth >_< as x3 the ^-^ gentwe xDD wain from heaven 
>_> Upon x3 the :33 pwace beneath. ^.^ It >_> is twice blest: 
^.^ It >_< bwesseth ^.^ him :3 that ;;w;; gives ÚwÚ and ^.^ him :3 that >_> takes. 
'Tis mightiest uWu in x3 the :33 mightiest; >w< it x3 becomes 
uWu The throned :33 monyawch xDD bettew than :33 his >_< cwown; 
ÚwÚ His sceptre >_< shows x3 the force of :33 tempowaw x3 powew, 
uWu The >_> attwibute to OwO awe ÚwÚ and ^.^ majesty, 
^-^ Whewein xDD doth sit x3 the xDD dwead ÚwÚ and feaw of >w< kings; 
OwO But xDD mewcy >_> is :33 abuv ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ sceptwed sway, 
^.^ It >_> is ^w^ enthwonyed uWu in x3 the heawts of OwO kings, 
^.^ It >_> is >w< an >_> attwibute to ^w^ God :33 himsewf; 
xDD And ÚwÚ eawthwy powew xDD doth xDD then x3 show likest >_> God's 
x3 When xDD mewcy seasons justice. >_< Thewefowe, x3 Jew, 
;;w;; Though justice be >w< thy plea, OwO considew OwO this- 
:33 That uWu in x3 the course of justice >_< nyonye of >_> us 
Should >_> see >_> sawvation; ^.^ we UwU do pray fow mercy, 
xDD And :3 that same :3 pwayew xDD doth >_< teach >_> us aww to render 
uWu The >_< deeds of mercy. UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke OwO thus much 
;;w;; To mitigate x3 the justice of >w< thy plea, 
>_< Which >_> if xDD thou follow, ÚwÚ this :3 stwict court of :33 Venyice 
:3 Must >_< nyeeds UwU give :33 sentence uWu 'gainst x3 the merchant :33 thewe. 
OwO SHYWOCK. OwO My >_< deeds ;;w;; upon x3 my ÚwÚ head! UwU I ^w^ cwave x3 the waw, 
uWu The penalty ÚwÚ and forfeit of x3 my UwU bond. 
BASSANyIO. Yes; OwO hewe UwU I xDD tendew >w< it fow ^.^ him uWu in x3 the >_> couwt; 
Yea, twice x3 the sum; >_> if :3 that xDD wiww nyot :3 suffice, 
UwU I xDD wiww be bound to x3 pay >w< it ;;w;; ten times ^-^ o'ew 
On forfeit of x3 my ^.^ hands, x3 my head, x3 my heawt; 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this xDD wiww nyot :3 suffice, >w< it ^w^ must appeaw 
:33 That malice bears down truth. ^.^ And, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
:33 Wwest >_> once x3 the law to x3 youw ^w^ authowity; 
;;w;; To UwU do :3 a great >w< wight UwU do :3 a xDD wittwe wwong, 
xDD And ^.^ cuwb ÚwÚ this UwU cwuew ^.^ deviw of :33 his :33 wiww. 
POWTIA. ^.^ It ^w^ must nyot be; there >_> is nyo powew uWu in :33 Venyice 
UwU Can x3 awtew :3 a x3 decwee uWu estabwished; 
'Twiww be wecowded fow :3 a precedent, 
xDD And UwU many >w< an error, ^.^ by x3 the same ^w^ exampwe, 
Will >_< wush x3 into x3 the ^w^ state; >w< it ;;w;; cannyot >w< be. 
OwO SHYWOCK. ^-^ A Danyiew come to ;;w;; judgment! Yea, :3 a Daniel! 
x3 O uWu wise xDD young ^w^ judge, >w< how UwU I UwU do honour uWu thee! 
POWTIA. UwU I pray UwU you, wet ;;w;; me wook ;;w;; upon x3 the UwU bond. 
OwO SHYWOCK. :3 Hewe x3 'tis, UwU most reverend >w< Doctow; OwO hewe >w< it >w< is. 
POWTIA. >_< Shywock, there's thrice >w< thy monyey ;;w;; off'wed thee. 
OwO SHYWOCK. ^-^ An ;;w;; oath, >w< an ^.^ oath! UwU I uWu have >w< an ^-^ oath uWu in UwU heaven. 
Shall UwU I uWu way ^w^ pewjuwy ;;w;; upon x3 my OwO souw? 
:3 Nyo, nyot fow >_< Venyice. 
POWTIA. Why, ÚwÚ this :3 bond >_> is x3 fowfeit; 
xDD And wawfuwwy ^.^ by ÚwÚ this x3 the Jew OwO may >_< cwaim 
^-^ A ;;w;; pound of OwO fwesh, to be ^.^ by ^.^ him :3 cut x3 off 
>_< Nyeawest x3 the merchant's ;;w;; heawt. ^w^ Be mewcifuw. 
^.^ Take thrice >w< thy ;;w;; monyey; bid ;;w;; me teaw x3 the UwU bond. 
OwO SHYWOCK. x3 When >w< it >_> is paid accowding to x3 the tenour. 
^.^ It xDD doth appeaw xDD you OwO awe :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy ;;w;; judge; 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 the UwU waw; x3 youw xDD exposition 
>_< Hath :33 been UwU most >w< sound; UwU I :3 chawge xDD you ^.^ by x3 the waw, 
:3 Wheweof xDD you OwO awe :3 a OwO weww-desewving pillar, 
ÚwÚ Pwoceed to ;;w;; judgment. ^-^ By x3 my :3 souw UwU I >_< sweaw 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo powew uWu in x3 the >_> tongue of x3 man 
;;w;; To x3 awtew x3 me. UwU I xDD stay OwO hewe on x3 my UwU bond. 
>_> ANTONyIO. :3 Most UwU heawtiwy UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 the court 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 the ;;w;; judgment. 
POWTIA. Why >w< then, OwO thus >w< it ^w^ is: 
>_> You ^w^ must >_> pwepawe x3 youw ^w^ bosom fow :33 his x3 knyife. 
OwO SHYWOCK. x3 O x3 nyobwe >_< judge! x3 O :3 excewwent xDD young ;;w;; man! 
POWTIA. For x3 the :3 intent ÚwÚ and OwO puwpose of x3 the law 
>_< Hath full wewation to x3 the :33 penyawty, 
>_< Which OwO hewe appeareth >_< due ;;w;; upon x3 the UwU bond. 
OwO SHYWOCK. 'Tis xDD vewy true. x3 O uWu wise ÚwÚ and ^w^ upwight ^w^ judge, 
How much ^.^ mowe :33 ewdew awt xDD thou than >w< thy OwO wooks! 
POWTIA. >_< Thewefowe, uWu way OwO bawe x3 youw ÚwÚ bosom. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Ay, :33 his uWu bweast- 
^w^ So ;;w;; says x3 the bond; xDD doth >w< it >_> nyot, x3 nyobwe OwO judge? 
'Nyeawest :33 his heawt,' UwU those OwO awe x3 the xDD vewy ÚwÚ wowds. 
POWTIA. ^.^ It >_> is :3 so. ^w^ Awe there ^w^ bawance OwO hewe to >w< weigh 
uWu The flesh? 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I uWu have them weady. 
POWTIA. :3 Have ^.^ by x3 some surgeon, >_< Shywock, on x3 youw charge, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stop :33 his ;;w;; wounds, xDD west ^.^ he UwU do bweed to death. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Is >w< it UwU so ^w^ nyominyated uWu in x3 the xDD bond? 
POWTIA. ^.^ It >_> is nyot UwU so ^-^ expwess'd, >_> but >_> what of ^-^ that? 
uWu 'Twewe ÚwÚ good xDD you UwU do UwU so much fow charity. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot find uWu it; UwU 'tis nyot uWu in x3 the UwU bond. 
POWTIA. >_< You, OwO mewchant, uWu have xDD you ;;w;; anything to ^.^ say? 
>_> ANTONyIO. OwO But wittwe: UwU I ^w^ am awm'd ÚwÚ and weww prepar'd. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand, ^-^ Bassanyio; ^-^ fawe xDD you well. 
^w^ Gwieve nyot :3 that UwU I ^w^ am fall'n to ÚwÚ this fow UwU you, 
For >w< hewein :33 Fowtunye >_< shows herself ^.^ mowe uWu kind 
Than >_> is her custom. ^.^ It >_> is still her use 
;;w;; To wet x3 the wwetched x3 man outwive :33 his ^.^ weawth, 
;;w;; To x3 view with OwO howwow ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and wwinkwed ^w^ bwow 
^-^ An age of >w< puvwty; from which x3 wing'wing >_< penyance 
Of xDD such misery xDD doth ^.^ she :3 cut ;;w;; me off. 
>_< Commend ;;w;; me to x3 youw ^.^ honyouwabwe :33 wife; 
Teww her x3 the xDD pwocess of ÚwÚ Antonyio's ^w^ end; 
x3 Say >w< how UwU I :3 wov'd uWu you; speak ;;w;; me >w< faiw uWu in ÚwÚ death; 
^.^ And, when x3 the xDD tawe >_> is x3 towd, bid her be OwO judge 
Whethew :3 Bassanyio xDD had nyot >_> once :3 a love. 
uWu Wepent >_> but xDD you :3 that xDD you UwU shaww wose x3 youw fwiend, 
xDD And ^.^ he ^w^ wepents nyot :3 that ^.^ he >w< pays x3 youw ;;w;; debt; 
For >_> if x3 the Jew UwU do :3 cut >_> but >_> deep UwU enyough, 
I'll x3 pay >w< it instantly with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
BASSANyIO. Antonio, UwU I ^w^ am mawwied to :3 a >w< wife 
>_< Which >_> is >_< as uWu deaw to ;;w;; me >_< as >w< wife >_< itsewf; 
OwO But >w< wife itself, x3 my :3 wife, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
^w^ Awe nyot with ;;w;; me esteem'd :33 abuv >w< thy :33 wife; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd wose all, :33 ay, sacrifice them aww 
:3 Hewe to ÚwÚ this deviw, to ÚwÚ dewivew OwO you. 
POWTIA. uWu Youw >w< wife ^.^ wouwd UwU give xDD you xDD wittwe thanks fow :3 that, 
;;w;; If ^.^ she :3 wewe ^.^ by to hear xDD you >_< make x3 the UwU offew. 
GRATIANO. UwU I uWu have :3 a >w< wife who UwU I ^w^ pwotest UwU I love; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she :3 wewe uWu in ^.^ heaven, UwU so ^.^ she couwd 
>w< Entweat x3 some powew to change ÚwÚ this xDD cuwwish ^w^ Jew. 
OwO NyEWISSA. 'Tis weww xDD you offer >w< it x3 behind her back; 
uWu The ÚwÚ wish ^.^ wouwd >_< make >_> ewse >w< an unquiet ÚwÚ house. 
OwO SHYWOCK. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; These be x3 the Christian UwU husbands! UwU I uWu have :3 a 
daughtew- 
Wouwd xDD any of x3 the stock of :33 Bawwabas 
xDD Had :33 been her ^.^ husband, rather than :3 a >w< Chwistian!- 
We xDD twifwe time; UwU I pray uWu thee pursue :33 sentence. 
POWTIA. ^-^ A ;;w;; pound of :3 that same merchant's >w< fwesh >_> is ÚwÚ thinye. 
uWu The court UwU awawds >w< it ÚwÚ and x3 the law xDD doth UwU give :3 it. 
OwO SHYWOCK. :3 Most wightfuw >_< judge! 
POWTIA. xDD And xDD you ^w^ must :3 cut ÚwÚ this >w< fwesh from x3 off :33 his UwU bweast. 
uWu The law allows >w< it ÚwÚ and x3 the court UwU awawds :3 it. 
OwO SHYWOCK. :3 Most :33 weawnyed >_< judge! ^-^ A ;;w;; sentence! ^.^ Come, ;;w;; pwepawe. 
POWTIA. ^.^ Tawwy :3 a UwU wittwe; there >_> is ^-^ something ewse. 
This :3 bond xDD doth UwU give uWu thee OwO hewe nyo jot of :33 bwood: 
uWu The wowds >w< expwesswy OwO awe xDD 'a ;;w;; pound of >_> fwesh.' 
^.^ Take xDD then >w< thy bond, OwO take xDD thou >w< thy ;;w;; pound of flesh; 
But, uWu in x3 the >_< cutting :33 it, >_> if xDD thou dost x3 shed 
x3 Onye >_< dwop of Christian bwood, >w< thy ^-^ wands ÚwÚ and >_> goods 
^w^ Awe, ^.^ by x3 the UwU waws of >_> Venyice, UwU confiscate 
uWu Unto x3 the >w< state of >_< Venyice. 
GRATIANO. x3 O ^w^ upwight >_< judge! ;;w;; Mawk, ^w^ Jew. x3 O :33 weawnyed >_< judge! 
OwO SHYWOCK. Is :3 that x3 the ;;w;; waw? 
POWTIA. ^.^ Thysewf shalt >_> see x3 the ÚwÚ act; 
For, >_< as xDD thou uwgest justice, be x3 assuw'd 
^.^ Thou shalt uWu have justice, ^.^ mowe than xDD thou desiw'st. 
GRATIANO. x3 O :33 weawnyed >_< judge! ;;w;; Mawk, ^w^ Jew. ^-^ A :33 weawnyed >_< judge! 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I OwO take ÚwÚ this offer >_< then: x3 pay x3 the :3 bond ÚwÚ thwice, 
xDD And wet x3 the Christian ÚwÚ go. 
BASSANyIO. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the money. 
POWTIA. ;;w;; Soft! 
uWu The Jew UwU shaww uWu have aww justice. ;;w;; Soft! No ^.^ haste. 
>w< He UwU shaww uWu have >_< nyothing >_> but x3 the penalty. 
GRATIANO. x3 O >_< Jew! >w< an ^w^ upwight ^w^ judge, :3 a :33 weawnyed >_< judge! 
POWTIA. >_< Thewefowe, >_> pwepawe uWu thee to :3 cut x3 off x3 the ÚwÚ fwesh. 
;;w;; Shed xDD thou nyo bwood, nor :3 cut xDD thou less nor ^.^ mowe 
OwO But >w< just :3 a ;;w;; pound of flesh; >_> if xDD thou :33 tak'st ^.^ mowe 
:33 Ow less than :3 a >w< just x3 pound- be >w< it >_> but UwU so much 
;;w;; As x3 makes >w< it >w< wight ow x3 heavy uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ substance, 
:33 Ow x3 the OwO division of x3 the ^-^ twentieth ÚwÚ pawt 
Of one poor ;;w;; scwupwe; x3 nyay, >_> if x3 the scale UwU do turn 
OwO But uWu in x3 the estimation of :3 a UwU haiw- 
^.^ Thou OwO diest, ÚwÚ and aww >w< thy >_> goods OwO awe >_> confiscate. 
GRATIANO. ^-^ A second uWu Danyiew, :3 a uWu Danyiew, >_< Jew! 
>_> Nyow, x3 infidew, UwU I uWu have xDD you on x3 the xDD hip. 
POWTIA. Why xDD doth x3 the Jew >_< pause? ^.^ Take >w< thy OwO fowfeituwe. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Give ;;w;; me x3 my ;;w;; pwincipaw, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ go. 
BASSANyIO. UwU I uWu have >w< it ready fow ÚwÚ thee; OwO hewe >w< it >w< is. 
POWTIA. >w< He hath x3 wefus'd >w< it uWu in x3 the open >_> couwt; 
>w< He UwU shaww uWu have mewewy justice, ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU bond. 
GRATIANO. ^-^ A Danyiew still >_> say I, :3 a second Daniel! 
UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, x3 Jew, fow teaching ;;w;; me :3 that OwO wowd. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Shall UwU I nyot uWu have barely x3 my pwincipaw? 
POWTIA. ^.^ Thou shalt uWu have >_< nyothing >_> but x3 the ÚwÚ fowfeituwe 
;;w;; To be UwU so :33 taken uWu at >w< thy x3 pewiw, ^w^ Jew. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Why, xDD then x3 the ^.^ deviw UwU give ^.^ him ÚwÚ good of :3 it! 
I'll xDD stay nyo longer x3 question. 
POWTIA. ;;w;; Tawwy, ^w^ Jew. 
uWu The law hath yet anyothew howd on OwO you. 
^.^ It >_> is enacted uWu in x3 the UwU waws of >_> Venyice, 
;;w;; If >w< it be >_> pwuvd OwO against >w< an x3 awien 
:33 That ^.^ by direct ow ^.^ indiwect OwO attempts 
>w< He >_> seek x3 the >w< wife of xDD any xDD citizen, 
uWu The party uWu 'gainst x3 the which ^.^ he xDD doth >_< contwive 
Shall x3 seize one half :33 his :33 goods; x3 the othew half 
UwU Comes to x3 the privy x3 coffew of x3 the ^w^ state; 
xDD And x3 the xDD offendew's >w< wife wies uWu in x3 the xDD mewcy 
Of x3 the >w< Duke >_> onwy, uWu 'gainst aww othew voice. 
^w^ In which >_> pwedicament, UwU I say, xDD thou OwO stand'st; 
For >w< it >_> appeaws ^.^ by UwU manyifest proceeding 
:33 That :33 indiwectwy, ÚwÚ and xDD diwectwy :3 too, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast contrived OwO against x3 the xDD vewy >w< wife 
Of x3 the OwO defendant; ÚwÚ and xDD thou x3 hast >_< incuww'd 
uWu The danger formerly ^.^ by ;;w;; me >w< weheaws'd. 
Down, OwO thewefowe, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beg xDD mewcy of x3 the uWu Duke. 
GRATIANO. >w< Beg :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst uWu have OwO weave to ^w^ hang xDD thysewf; 
xDD And ^w^ yet, >w< thy weawth ^.^ being forfeit to x3 the state, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyot left x3 the value of :3 a xDD cowd; 
Therefore xDD thou ^w^ must be :33 hang'd uWu at x3 the >_< state's chawge. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. :33 That xDD thou shalt >_> see x3 the ^.^ diffewence of UwU ouw ^-^ spiwit, 
UwU I UwU pawdon uWu thee >w< thy >w< wife >w< befowe xDD thou ^w^ ask :3 it. 
For half >w< thy ^.^ weawth, >w< it >_> is :33 Antonyio's; 
uWu The othew half x3 comes to x3 the general state, 
>_< Which humbleness OwO may UwU dwive >w< unto :3 a fine. 
POWTIA. Ay, fow x3 the ^w^ state; nyot fow Antonio. 
OwO SHYWOCK. Nyay, OwO take x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and all, UwU pawdon nyot x3 that. 
>_> You OwO take x3 my ;;w;; house when xDD you UwU do OwO take x3 the :3 pwop 
:33 That xDD doth >_< sustain x3 my ^.^ house; xDD you OwO take x3 my >w< wife 
x3 When xDD you UwU do OwO take x3 the means wheweby UwU I wive. 
POWTIA. >_> What xDD mewcy ^.^ can xDD you render :3 him, Antonyio? 
GRATIANO. ^-^ A hawtew gratis; >_< nyothing else, fow >_> God's uWu sake! 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the >w< Duke ÚwÚ and aww x3 the court 
;;w;; To ^.^ quit x3 the OwO finye fow one half of :33 his :33 goods; 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU content, UwU so ^.^ he xDD wiww wet ;;w;; me uWu have 
uWu The othew half uWu in ^.^ use, to render >w< it 
>_> Upon :33 his :33 death >w< unto x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman 
:33 That :3 watewy OwO stowe :33 his daughtew- 
Two ^.^ things x3 pwovided mowe; :3 that, fow ÚwÚ this favour, 
>w< He presently :33 become :3 a xDD Chwistian; 
uWu The ÚwÚ othew, :3 that ^.^ he UwU do xDD wecowd :3 a :3 gift, 
:3 Hewe uWu in x3 the xDD couwt, of aww ^.^ he dies >_< possess'd 
uWu Unto :33 his >_< son Lorenzo ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< daughtew. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. >w< He UwU shaww UwU do uWu this, ow >_> ewse UwU I UwU do wecant 
uWu The UwU pawdon :3 that UwU I wate ^.^ pwonyounced hewe. 
POWTIA. Awt xDD thou :3 contented, ^.^ Jew? >_> What dost xDD thou ^.^ say? 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I ^w^ am OwO content. 
POWTIA. Clerk, dwaw :3 a ^.^ deed of uWu gift. 
OwO SHYWOCK. UwU I pray UwU you, UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to OwO go from OwO hence; 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot well; >_> send x3 the ^.^ deed ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; me 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww xDD sign :3 it. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. >_< Get uWu thee >w< gonye, >_> but UwU do :3 it. 
GRATIANO. ^w^ In uWu chwist'nying shalt xDD thou uWu have >w< two god-fathers; 
xDD Had UwU I :33 been ^w^ judge, xDD thou shouwdst uWu have xDD had ;;w;; ten >_> mowe, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing uWu thee to x3 the ;;w;; gawwows, nyot to x3 the xDD font. 
uWu Exit :3 SHYWOCK 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. UwU Siw, UwU I entweat xDD you ^.^ home with ;;w;; me to uWu dinnyew. 
POWTIA. UwU I x3 humbwy UwU do ^.^ desiwe x3 youw Gwace of ;;w;; pawdon; 
UwU I ^w^ must OwO away ÚwÚ this >w< nyight toward xDD Padua, 
xDD And >w< it >_> is :3 meet UwU I presently uWu set forth. 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF VENyICE. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy :3 that x3 youw leisure sewves xDD you not. 
Antonio, UwU gwatify ÚwÚ this gentweman, 
For uWu in x3 my ^-^ mind xDD you OwO awe much bound to ^.^ him. 
Exeunt ^w^ DUKE, ^.^ MAGNyIFICOES, ÚwÚ and twain 
BASSANyIO. :3 Most ÚwÚ wowthy gentweman, UwU I ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 fwiend 
:3 Have ^.^ by x3 youw ^.^ wisdom :33 been ÚwÚ this day acquitted 
Of ;;w;; gwievous ÚwÚ penyawties; uWu in ÚwÚ wieu xDD wheweof 
Thwee thousand OwO ducats, >_< due >w< unto x3 the x3 Jew, 
We freely cope x3 youw ^-^ couwteous ^w^ pains uWu withaw. 
>_> ANTONyIO. xDD And stand ^w^ indebted, uvw ÚwÚ and xDD abuv, 
^w^ In wuv ÚwÚ and OwO sewvice to xDD you >w< evewmowe. 
POWTIA. >w< He >_> is weww paid :3 that >_> is weww satisfied, 
xDD And I, uWu dewivewing UwU you, ^w^ am satisfied, 
xDD And thewein UwU do :33 account mysewf weww paid. 
OwO My ^-^ mind UwU was >_< nyevew yet ^.^ mowe ^.^ mewcenyawy. 
UwU I pray UwU you, ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me when ^.^ we :3 meet again; 
UwU I ÚwÚ wish xDD you weww, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
BASSANyIO. >_< Deaw ^w^ siw, of force UwU I ^w^ must x3 attempt xDD you >w< fuwthew; 
^.^ Take x3 some wemembwance of us, >_< as :3 a OwO twibute, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< as fee. Grant ;;w;; me >w< two :3 things, UwU I pray UwU you, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to UwU deny uWu me, ÚwÚ and to UwU pawdon x3 me. 
POWTIA. >_> You x3 pwess ;;w;; me far, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU I xDD wiww >_< yiewd. 
:33 [To UwU ANTONyIO] Give ;;w;; me x3 youw gloves, I'll ^-^ weaw them fow x3 youw sake. 
:33 [To BASSANIO] ^.^ And, fow x3 youw xDD wuv, I'll OwO take ÚwÚ this OwO wing from OwO you. 
Do nyot dwaw back x3 youw xDD hand; I'll OwO take nyo >_> mowe, 
xDD And xDD you uWu in wuv UwU shaww nyot UwU deny ;;w;; me UwU this. 
BASSANyIO. This *hugs tightly* wing, ÚwÚ good >_< siw- :3 awas, >w< it >_> is :3 a ^-^ twifwe; 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^-^ shame mysewf to UwU give xDD you UwU this. 
POWTIA. UwU I xDD wiww uWu have >_< nyothing >_> ewse >_> but >w< onwy >_< this; 
xDD And now, UwU methinks, UwU I uWu have :3 a ^-^ mind to :3 it. 
;;w;; BASSANyIO.. >_> Thewe's ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ depends on ÚwÚ this than on x3 the vawue. 
uWu The deawest OwO wing uWu in :33 Venyice xDD wiww UwU I UwU give UwU you, 
xDD And find >w< it x3 out ^.^ by x3 pwocwamation; 
Onwy fow uWu this, UwU I pray UwU you, UwU pawdon x3 me. 
POWTIA. UwU I see, ^w^ siw, xDD you OwO awe xDD wibewaw uWu in offews; 
>_> You ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me xDD fiwst to xDD beg, ÚwÚ and now, UwU methinks, 
>_> You >_< teach ;;w;; me >w< how :3 a beggar >_> shouwd be ^w^ answew'd. 
BASSANyIO. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ this OwO wing UwU was UwU given ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 my :33 wife; 
^.^ And, when ^.^ she put >w< it ;;w;; on, ^.^ she UwU made ;;w;; me vow 
:33 That UwU I >_> shouwd :3 nyeithew ^w^ seww, nor give, nor wose :3 it. 
POWTIA. :33 That OwO 'scuse sewves UwU many ;;w;; men to :3 save uWu theiw gifts. 
xDD And >_> if x3 youw >w< wife be nyot :3 a ^-^ mad ^w^ woman, 
xDD And ^.^ knyow >w< how weww UwU I uWu have OwO desewv'd ÚwÚ this *hugs tightly* wing, 
:33 She ^.^ wouwd nyot howd x3 out ;;w;; enyemy fow OwO evew 
For ^.^ giving >w< it to x3 me. xDD Weww, uWu peace be with you! 
Exeunt PORTIA ÚwÚ and NyEWISSA 
>_> ANTONyIO. OwO My Lord ^-^ Bassanyio, wet ^.^ him uWu have x3 the wing. 
Let :33 his deservings, ÚwÚ and x3 my wuv withaw, 
^w^ Be vawued uWu 'gainst x3 youw ^w^ wife's :33 commandment. 
BASSANyIO. ^w^ Go, >_> Gwatianyo, >w< wun ÚwÚ and overtake him; 
Give ^.^ him x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing :3 him, >_> if xDD thou x3 canst, 
uWu Unto ÚwÚ Antonyio's ÚwÚ house. :33 Away, >_< make ^.^ haste. uWu Exit GRATIANO 
^.^ Come, xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww uWu thithew ^-^ pwesentwy; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the mownying early xDD wiww ^.^ we both 
xDD Fwy toward Belmont. ^.^ Come, Antonio. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
>_< Venyice. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew PORTIA ÚwÚ and NyEWISSA 

POWTIA. Inquire x3 the xDD Jew's ;;w;; house ^.^ out, UwU give ^.^ him ÚwÚ this OwO deed, 
xDD And wet ^.^ him xDD sign uWu it; we'll OwO away tonyight, 
xDD And be :3 a day >w< befowe UwU ouw ;;w;; husbands >_> home. 
This ^.^ deed xDD wiww be weww wewcome to Lorenzo. 

Entew GRATIANO 

GRATIANO. Faiw ^w^ siw, xDD you OwO awe weww uWu o'ewta'en. 
OwO My Lord ^-^ Bassanyio, ;;w;; upon ^.^ mowe x3 advice, 
>_< Hath sent xDD you OwO hewe ÚwÚ this *hugs tightly* wing, ÚwÚ and xDD doth entweat 
uWu Youw >_< company uWu at uWu dinnyew. 
POWTIA. :33 That ;;w;; cannyot >w< be. 
ÚwÚ His OwO wing UwU I UwU do xDD accept UwU most thankfully, 
xDD And >_> so, UwU I pray UwU you, tell ^.^ him. xDD Fuwthewmowe, 
UwU I pray xDD you x3 show x3 my :33 youth ;;w;; owd x3 Shywock's ÚwÚ house. 
GRATIANO. :33 That xDD wiww UwU I xDD do. 
OwO NyEWISSA. UwU Siw, UwU I ^.^ wouwd speak with OwO you. 
^-^ [Aside to :33 POWTIA] I'll xDD See >_> if UwU I ^.^ can get x3 my husband's *hugs tightly* wing, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu did >_< make ^.^ him >_< sweaw to >_< keep fow ever. 
POWTIA. :33 [To ÚwÚ NyEWISSA] ^.^ Thou ^.^ Mayst, UwU I ;;w;; wawwant. We UwU shaww uWu have ;;w;; owd 
swearing 
:33 That ;;w;; they uWu did UwU give x3 the rings OwO away to ÚwÚ men; 
OwO But we'll outface ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and outsweaw them UwU too. 
;;w;; [Awoud] :33 Away, >_< make xDD haste, xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st :3 whewe UwU I xDD wiww :33 tawwy. 
OwO NyEWISSA. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, xDD wiww xDD you x3 show ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ this >_> house? 
Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Belmont. uWu The >_< gawden >w< befowe POWTIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew >w< WOWENZO ÚwÚ and JESSICA 

ÚwÚ WOWENZO. uWu The ;;w;; moon uWu shinyes >_< bwight. ^w^ In xDD such :3 a >w< nyight >_< as uWu this, 
x3 When x3 the x3 sweet wind uWu did gently :3 kiss x3 the trees, 
xDD And ;;w;; they uWu did >_< make nyo :33 nyoise- uWu in xDD such :3 a night, 
Twoiwus uWu methinks UwU mounted x3 the ÚwÚ Twoyan walls, 
xDD And xDD sigh'd :33 his :3 souw toward x3 the Grecian tents, 
Whewe ^w^ Cwessid uWu way :3 that OwO nyight. 
JESSICA. ^w^ In xDD such :3 a >w< nyight 
Did ^.^ Thisby uWu feawfuwwy o'ertrip x3 the ;;w;; dew, 
xDD And saw x3 the ;;w;; wion's :3 shadow ere himsewf, 
xDD And wan dismayed xDD away. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. ^w^ In xDD such :3 a >w< nyight 
^w^ Stood ^w^ Dido with :3 a wiwwow uWu in her uWu hand 
>_> Upon x3 the >w< wiwd uWu sea-banks, ÚwÚ and >w< waft her wuv 
;;w;; To come again to Carthage. 
JESSICA. ^w^ In xDD such :3 a >w< nyight 
OwO Medea OwO gathewed x3 the ^-^ enchanted >w< hewbs 
:33 That uWu did renew ;;w;; owd AEson. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. ^w^ In xDD such :3 a >w< nyight 
Did >_< Jessica ^.^ steaw from x3 the :3 weawthy x3 Jew, 
xDD And with >w< an >w< unthwift wuv uWu did >w< wun from :33 Venyice 
;;w;; As uWu faw >_< as Belmont. 
JESSICA. ^w^ In xDD such :3 a >w< nyight 
Did xDD young Lorenzo >_< sweaw ^.^ he :3 wov'd her weww, 
Steawing her :3 souw with UwU many x3 vows of ^w^ faith, 
xDD And ^w^ nye'ew :3 a true onye. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. ^w^ In xDD such :3 a >w< nyight 
Did OwO pwetty UwU Jessica, ^.^ wike :3 a xDD wittwe shrew, 
Slander her xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he forgave >w< it her. 
JESSICA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd :33 out-nyight UwU you, uWu did nyo >w< body >_< come; 
But, hark, UwU I hear x3 the footing of :3 a man. 

Entew STEPHANyO 

ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Who x3 comes UwU so ÚwÚ fast uWu in :3 siwence of x3 the night? 
STEPHANO. ^-^ A :3 fwiend. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. ^-^ A >_> fwiend! >_> What >w< fwiend? uWu Youw :33 nyame, UwU I pray UwU you, >w< fwiend? 
STEPHANO. >_> Stephanyo >_> is x3 my :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and UwU I ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; wowd 
OwO My mistwess xDD wiww >w< befowe x3 the bweak of day 
^w^ Be OwO hewe uWu at Belmont; ^.^ she xDD doth ^-^ stway about 
^-^ By >w< howy cwosses, :3 whewe ^.^ she knyeews ÚwÚ and prays 
For ^w^ happy wedlock hours. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Who x3 comes with OwO hew? 
STEPHANO. ^-^ Nyonye >_> but :3 a >w< howy :33 hewmit ÚwÚ and her ^-^ maid. 
UwU I pray UwU you, >_> is x3 my >_< mastew yet UwU wetuwn'd? 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. >w< He >_> is >_> nyot, nor ^.^ we uWu have nyot heard from ^.^ him. 
OwO But OwO go ^.^ we x3 in, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, UwU Jessica, 
xDD And UwU cewemonyiouswy wet >_> us >_> pwepawe 
;;w;; Some wewcome fow x3 the mistwess of x3 the ÚwÚ house. 

Entew ^.^ WAUNCEWOT 

:33 WAUNCEWOT. ;;w;; Sowa, ^-^ sowa! wo ha, ho! ;;w;; sowa, ^-^ sowa! 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Who cawws? 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. Sowa! Did xDD you >_> see >_< Mastew ;;w;; Wowenzo? >_< Mastew Lorenzo! ;;w;; Sowa, 
^-^ sowa! 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Weave howwoaing, man. Here! 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. Sowa! UwU Whewe, whewe? 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Here! 
:33 WAUNCEWOT. Teww ^.^ him there's :3 a x3 post come from x3 my >_< mastew with :33 his 
>_> hown full of ÚwÚ good nyews; x3 my >_< mastew xDD wiww be OwO hewe ere xDD mownying. 
uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. ÚwÚ Sweet x3 souw, >_> wet's x3 in, ÚwÚ and there >_< expect uWu theiw :3 coming. 
xDD And yet nyo matter- >w< why >_> shouwd ^.^ we OwO go in? 
OwO My :33 fwiend x3 Stephanyo, OwO signyify, UwU I pray UwU you, 
OwO Within x3 the house, x3 youw mistwess >_> is uWu at xDD hand; 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing x3 youw uWu music fowth x3 into x3 the air. uWu Exit STEPHANyO 
How x3 sweet x3 the moonlight sweeps ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this bank! 
:3 Hewe xDD wiww ^.^ we sit ÚwÚ and wet x3 the sounds of uWu music 
Creep uWu in UwU ouw ears; soft stiwwnyess ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< nyight 
Become x3 the >_> touches of x3 sweet >w< hawmony. 
>_> Sit, OwO Jessica. Wook >w< how x3 the OwO fwoow of heaven 
Is thick ^w^ inwaid with patines of uWu bwight x3 gowd; 
>_> Thewe's nyot x3 the xDD smawwest owb which xDD thou behold'st 
OwO But uWu in :33 his >_> motion ^.^ wike >w< an ÚwÚ angew xDD sings, 
UwU Stiww ^-^ quiwing to x3 the young-ey'd UwU chewubins; 
>w< Such ;;w;; hawmony >_> is uWu in :3 immowtaw souws, 
OwO But whiwst ÚwÚ this >_> muddy ^.^ vestuwe of x3 decay 
^-^ Doth grossly ^-^ cwose >w< it x3 in, ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot hear :3 it. 

Entew MUSICIANS 

^.^ Come, :3 ho, ÚwÚ and wake Diana with :3 a ^.^ hymn; 
With ^w^ sweetest >_> touches xDD piewce x3 youw >_< mistwess' :3 eaw. 
xDD And dwaw her ^.^ home with >_> music. ^w^ [Music] 
JESSICA. UwU I ^w^ am >_< nyevew ^.^ mewwy when UwU I hear x3 sweet >_> music. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. uWu The reason >_> is x3 youw ;;w;; spiwits OwO awe attentive; 
For UwU do >_> but ^-^ nyote :3 a >w< wiwd ÚwÚ and >_< wanton x3 hewd, 
:33 Ow race of youthfuw ÚwÚ and ^.^ unhandwed cowts, 
>_< Fetching ^-^ mad UwU bounds, :33 bewwowing ÚwÚ and xDD nyeighing woud, 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the :3 hot condition of uWu theiw blood- 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they >_> but hear x3 pewchance :3 a ÚwÚ twumpet sound, 
:33 Ow xDD any ^w^ aiw of uWu music :33 touch uWu theiw ;;w;; eaws, 
>_> You UwU shaww >_> pewceive them >_< make :3 a ^-^ mutuaw x3 stand, 
^-^ Theiw x3 savage eyes >_> tuwn'd to :3 a :3 modest ÚwÚ gaze 
^-^ By x3 the x3 sweet powew of >_> music. Therefore x3 the ;;w;; poet 
Did >_> feign :3 that Owpheus >w< dwew trees, ^w^ stonyes, ÚwÚ and >_< fwoods; 
Since >_< nyought UwU so uWu stockish, hawd, ÚwÚ and full of rage, 
OwO But uWu music fow x3 the time xDD doth change :33 his :33 nyatuwe. 
uWu The x3 man :3 that hath nyo uWu music uWu in himsewf, 
x3 Nyow >_> is nyot x3 mov'd with concowd of x3 sweet >_< sounds, 
Is ;;w;; fit fow uWu tweasons, stwatagems, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ spoiws; 
uWu The >w< motions of :33 his ^w^ spiwit OwO awe dull:as night, 
xDD And :33 his affections dark >_< as x3 Ewebus. 
Let nyo xDD such x3 man be x3 twusted. >_> Mawk x3 the >_> music. 

Entew PORTIA ÚwÚ and NyEWISSA 

POWTIA. :33 That >w< wight ^.^ we >_> see >_> is ^.^ buwnying uWu in x3 my :33 haww. 
How uWu faw :3 that xDD wittwe x3 candwe ^w^ thwows :33 his OwO beams! 
^w^ So uWu shinyes :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ deed uWu in :3 a naughty wowwd. 
OwO NyEWISSA. x3 When x3 the ;;w;; moon shonye, ^.^ we uWu did nyot >_> see x3 the candwe. 
POWTIA. ^w^ So xDD doth x3 the :33 gweatew :3 gwowy dim x3 the ^w^ wess: 
^-^ A UwU substitute uWu shinyes bwightwy >_< as :3 a x3 king 
Untiw :3 a x3 king be UwU by, ÚwÚ and xDD then :33 his >w< state 
>_< Empties itself, >_< as xDD doth >w< an inland >w< bwook 
^.^ Into x3 the :33 main of ^w^ watews. uWu Music! x3 hawk! 
OwO NyEWISSA. ^.^ It >_> is x3 youw ^.^ music, UwU madam, of x3 the ÚwÚ house. 
POWTIA. Nyothing >_> is UwU good, UwU I see, ^-^ without respect; 
Methinks >w< it sounds much ^w^ sweetew than ^.^ by x3 day. 
OwO NyEWISSA. Siwence OwO bestows :3 that viwtue on :33 it, UwU madam. 
POWTIA. uWu The x3 cwow xDD doth ^.^ sing >_< as sweetly >_< as x3 the lark 
x3 When :3 nyeithew >_> is ^.^ attended; ÚwÚ and UwU I think 
nye ^w^ nyightingawe, >_> if ^.^ she >_> shouwd ^.^ sing ^.^ by ^-^ day, 
x3 When every x3 goose >_> is x3 cackwing, ^.^ wouwd be xDD thought 
No xDD bettew :3 a :33 musician than x3 the wwen. 
How UwU many ^.^ things ^.^ by >_< season season'd OwO awe 
;;w;; To uWu theiw >w< wight praise ÚwÚ and true ÚwÚ pewfection! 
uWu Peace, ho! uWu The ;;w;; moon sweeps with ^w^ Endymion, 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 awak'd. [Music xDD ceases] 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. :33 That >_> is x3 the voice, 
:33 Ow UwU I ^w^ am much ^.^ deceiv'd, of ^.^ Powtia. 
POWTIA. >w< He xDD knyows ;;w;; me >_< as x3 the ^w^ bwind x3 man xDD knyows x3 the :33 cuckoo, 
^-^ By x3 the :33 bad voice. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. >_< Deaw UwU wady, wewcome >_> home. 
POWTIA. We uWu have :33 been :3 pwaying fow UwU ouw OwO husbands' OwO wewfawe, 
>_< Which speed, ^.^ we hope, x3 the xDD bettew fow UwU ouw ÚwÚ wowds. 
^w^ Awe ;;w;; they UwU wetuwn'd? 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. uWu Madam, ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot :33 yet; 
OwO But there >_> is come :3 a :3 messengew x3 befowe, 
;;w;; To :33 signyify uWu theiw :3 coming. 
^w^ POWTIA.. Go x3 in, Nerissa; 
Give order to x3 my :3 sewvants :3 that ;;w;; they OwO take 
No ^-^ nyote uWu at aww of UwU ouw ^.^ being absent OwO hence; 
x3 Nyow UwU you, >_> Wowenzo; UwU Jessica, nor OwO you. :3 [A tucket ^w^ sounds] 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. uWu Youw :33 husband >_> is uWu at xDD hand; UwU I hear :33 his twumpet. 
We OwO awe nyo tell-tales, UwU madam, feaw xDD you not. 
POWTIA. This >w< nyight uWu methinks >_> is >_> but x3 the ^-^ daywight xDD sick; 
^.^ It :33 wooks :3 a xDD wittwe ^w^ pawew; UwU 'tis :3 a day 
>w< Such >_< as x3 the day >_> is when x3 the sun >_> is :3 hid. 

Entew OwO BASSANyIO, uWu ANTONyIO, GRATIANO, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ÚwÚ fowwowews 

BASSANyIO. We >_> shouwd howd day with x3 the ;;w;; Antipodes, 
;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ wouwd UwU wawk uWu in >w< absence of x3 the OwO sun. 
POWTIA. Let ;;w;; me UwU give wight, >_> but wet ;;w;; me nyot be wight, 
For :3 a >w< wight >w< wife xDD doth >_< make :3 a x3 heavy ^.^ husband, 
xDD And >_< nyevew be :3 Bassanyio UwU so fow OwO me; 
OwO But ^w^ God ;;w;; sowt :33 aww! >_> You OwO awe wewcome ^.^ home, x3 my OwO wowd. 
BASSANyIO. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, x3 madam; UwU give wewcome to x3 my :3 fwiend. 
This >_> is x3 the ^w^ man, ÚwÚ this >_> is Antonio, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^w^ am UwU so infinyitewy UwU bound. 
POWTIA. >_> You >_> shouwd uWu in aww sense be much bound to :3 him, 
For, >_< as UwU I heaw, ^.^ he UwU was much bound fow OwO you. 
>_> ANTONyIO. No ^.^ mowe than UwU I ^w^ am weww acquitted uWu of. 
POWTIA. UwU Siw, xDD you OwO awe xDD vewy wewcome to UwU ouw ÚwÚ house. 
^.^ It ^w^ must appeaw uWu in othew ways than wowds, 
Therefore UwU I :3 scant ÚwÚ this :33 bweathing uWu couwtesy. 
GRATIANO. :33 [To ÚwÚ NyEWISSA] ^-^ By yonder ;;w;; moon UwU I >_< sweaw xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me >_> wwong; 
^w^ In ^w^ faith, UwU I uWu gave >w< it to x3 the uWu judge's xDD cwewk. 
Wouwd ^.^ he :3 wewe gelt :3 that xDD had :33 it, fow x3 my >_> pawt, 
Since xDD you UwU do OwO take :33 it, xDD wuv, UwU so much uWu at ;;w;; heawt. 
POWTIA. ^-^ A quarrel, :3 ho, awweady! x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
GRATIANO. About :3 a ^.^ hoop of ^.^ gowd, :3 a paltry OwO wing 
:33 That ^.^ she uWu did UwU give uWu me, x3 whose ÚwÚ posy UwU was 
For aww x3 the wowwd ^.^ wike cutler's poetry 
>_> Upon :3 a ^-^ knyife, 'Love uWu me, ÚwÚ and OwO weave ;;w;; me ^-^ nyot.' 
OwO NyEWISSA. >_> What tawk xDD you of x3 the ÚwÚ posy ow x3 the value? 
>_> You >w< swowe to uWu me, when UwU I uWu did UwU give >w< it UwU you, 
:33 That xDD you ^.^ wouwd ^-^ weaw >w< it >w< tiww x3 youw >_> houw of UwU death, 
xDD And :3 that >w< it >_> shouwd >_< wie with xDD you uWu in x3 youw >w< gwave; 
;;w;; Though nyot fow uWu me, yet fow x3 youw ^.^ vehement oaths, 
>_> You >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been :33 wespective ÚwÚ and uWu have :33 kept :3 it. 
Gave >w< it :3 a uWu judge's >_> cwewk! :3 Nyo, >_> God's x3 my ^w^ judge, 
uWu The OwO cwewk xDD wiww ^w^ nye'ew ^-^ weaw >_< haiw UwU on's OwO face :3 that xDD had :3 it. 
GRATIANO. >w< He :33 wiww, >w< an >_> if ^.^ he ^w^ wive to be :3 a man. 
OwO NyEWISSA. Ay, >_> if :3 a OwO woman ^w^ wive to be :3 a man. 
GRATIANO. Now ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu hand UwU I uWu gave >w< it to :3 a youth, 
^-^ A uWu kind of ^-^ boy, :3 a xDD wittwe scrubbed ;;w;; boy 
No :3 highew than ;;w;; thysewf, x3 the uWu judge's uWu cwewk; 
^-^ A ;;w;; pwating ;;w;; boy :3 that begg'd >w< it >_< as :3 a >w< fee; 
UwU I couwd nyot fow x3 my >_< heawt UwU deny >w< it ^.^ him. 
POWTIA. >_> You :3 wewe to bwame, UwU I ^w^ must be uWu pwain with UwU you, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ pawt UwU so swightwy with x3 youw ^w^ wife's xDD fiwst :3 gift, 
^-^ A ^.^ thing ^.^ stuck on with >w< oaths ;;w;; upon x3 youw finger 
xDD And UwU so x3 wiveted with :33 faith >w< unto x3 youw ÚwÚ fwesh. 
UwU I uWu gave x3 my wuv :3 a *hugs tightly* wing, ÚwÚ and UwU made ^.^ him >_< sweaw 
xDD Nyevew to ÚwÚ pawt with :33 it, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ^.^ he stands; 
UwU I dawe be sworn fow ^.^ him ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO weave >w< it 
x3 Nyow pluck >w< it from :33 his finger fow x3 the weawth 
:33 That x3 the wowwd ^w^ mastews. >_> Nyow, uWu in ^w^ faith, >_> Gwatianyo, 
>_> You UwU give x3 youw >w< wife ^w^ too :3 unkind :3 a cause of gwief; 
^-^ An >w< 'twewe to uWu me, UwU I >_> shouwd be ^-^ mad uWu at :3 it. 
BASSANyIO. :3 [Aside] Why, UwU I :3 wewe best to :3 cut x3 my left uWu hand ^w^ off, 
xDD And >_< sweaw UwU I wost x3 the OwO wing x3 defending :3 it. 
GRATIANO. OwO My Lord :3 Bassanyio uWu gave :33 his OwO wing OwO away 
uWu Unto x3 the OwO judge :3 that begg'd :33 it, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ indeed 
Desewv'd >w< it :3 too; ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 the ^-^ boy, :33 his ^-^ cwewk, 
:33 That >_> took x3 some ^w^ pains uWu in writing, ^.^ he begg'd minye; 
xDD And :3 nyeithew x3 man nor >_< mastew ^.^ wouwd OwO take ^.^ aught 
OwO But x3 the >w< two rings. 
POWTIA. >_> What OwO wing uWu gave UwU you, x3 my xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that, UwU I hope, which xDD you weceiv'd of x3 me. 
BASSANyIO. ;;w;; If UwU I couwd >_< add :3 a >_< wie >w< unto :3 a ^w^ fauwt, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU deny uWu it; >_> but xDD you >_> see x3 my finger 
>_< Hath nyot x3 the OwO wing ;;w;; upon uWu it; >w< it >_> is ;;w;; gonye. 
POWTIA. Even UwU so >_< void >_> is x3 youw UwU fawse >_< heawt of truth; 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ nye'ew come uWu in x3 youw x3 bed 
Untiw UwU I >_> see x3 the wing. 
OwO NyEWISSA. x3 Nyow UwU I uWu in >_> youws 
Tiww UwU I again >_> see ^w^ minye. 
BASSANyIO. ÚwÚ Sweet :33 Powtia, 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu did ^.^ knyow to ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu gave x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu did ^.^ knyow fow ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu gave x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd :33 conceive fow >_> what UwU I uWu gave x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, 
xDD And >w< how uWu unwiwwingwy UwU I left x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, 
x3 When >_< nyought ^.^ wouwd be x3 accepted >_> but x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd ^-^ abate x3 the ÚwÚ stwength of x3 youw dispweasuwe. 
POWTIA. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD had ÚwÚ knyown x3 the viwtue of x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, 
:33 Ow half her wowthinyess :3 that uWu gave x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, 
:33 Ow x3 youw UwU own honour to ^.^ contain x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd nyot xDD then uWu have pawted with x3 the wing. 
>_> What x3 man >_> is there UwU so much unreasonable, 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD had pleas'd to uWu have defended >w< it 
With xDD any terms of zeal, OwO wanted x3 the ÚwÚ modesty 
;;w;; To urge x3 the ^.^ thing hewd >_< as :3 a ceremony? 
;;w;; Nyewissa teaches ;;w;; me >_> what to bewieve: 
I'll ^-^ die for't >_> but x3 some OwO woman xDD had x3 the wing. 
BASSANyIO. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my honyouw, UwU madam, ^.^ by x3 my x3 souw, 
No OwO woman xDD had :33 it, >_> but :3 a ÚwÚ civiw doctor, 
>_< Which uWu did refuse >w< thwee thousand ;;w;; ducats of uWu me, 
xDD And begg'd x3 the wing; x3 the which UwU I uWu did UwU deny :3 him, 
xDD And ^w^ suffew'd ^.^ him to OwO go xDD dispweas'd UwU away- 
Even ^.^ he :3 that xDD had hewd x3 up x3 the xDD vewy >w< wife 
Of x3 my uWu deaw :3 fwiend. >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I say, x3 sweet x3 wady? 
UwU I UwU was enforc'd to >_> send >w< it ÚwÚ aftew him; 
UwU I UwU was beset with ^-^ shame ÚwÚ and couwtesy; 
OwO My honour ^.^ wouwd nyot wet ingratitude 
^w^ So much ^w^ besmeaw :3 it. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wady; 
For ^.^ by these blessed >_< candwes of x3 the night, 
xDD Had xDD you :33 been thewe, UwU I think xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu have begg'd 
uWu The OwO wing of ;;w;; me to UwU give x3 the ÚwÚ wowthy doctow. 
POWTIA. Let nyot :3 that x3 doctow ;;w;; e'ew come nyeaw x3 my ^.^ house; 
Since ^.^ he hath ^w^ got x3 the jewel :3 that UwU I loved, 
xDD And :3 that which xDD you uWu did >_< sweaw to >_< keep fow uWu me, 
UwU I xDD wiww :33 become >_< as xDD wibewaw >_< as uWu you; 
I'll nyot UwU deny ^.^ him ;;w;; anything UwU I have, 
:3 Nyo, nyot x3 my ;;w;; body, nor x3 my husband's :3 bed. 
xDD Knyow ^.^ him UwU I UwU shaww, UwU I ^w^ am weww >_< suwe of :3 it. 
Lie nyot :3 a >w< nyight from ÚwÚ home; ;;w;; watch ;;w;; me ^.^ wike UwU Awgus; 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do >_> nyot, >_> if UwU I be left ^-^ awonye, 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ by >_< minye honour which >_> is yet >_< minye OwO own, 
I'll uWu have :3 that x3 doctow fow >_< minye uWu bedfewwow. 
OwO NyEWISSA. xDD And UwU I :33 his uWu cwewk; >_< thewefowe be weww :33 advis'd 
How xDD you UwU do OwO weave ;;w;; me to >_< minye UwU own ÚwÚ pwotection. 
GRATIANO. xDD Weww, UwU do xDD you >_> so, wet nyot ;;w;; me OwO take ^.^ him :33 then; 
For, >_> if UwU I UwU do, I'll >_> maw x3 the xDD young :33 cwewk's :33 pen. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I ^w^ am x3 th' xDD unhappy x3 subject of these uWu quawwews. 
POWTIA. UwU Siw, UwU gwieve nyot uWu you; xDD you OwO awe wewcome nyot withstanding. 
BASSANyIO. :33 Powtia, :33 fowgive ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this enfowced >_> wwong; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the hearing of these UwU many ^w^ fwiends 
UwU I >_< sweaw to ÚwÚ thee, even ^.^ by ^.^ thinye UwU own >w< faiw ^w^ eyes, 
^-^ Whewein UwU I >_> see myself- 
POWTIA. >_> Mawk xDD you >_> but >_< that! 
^w^ In both x3 my eyes ^.^ he ^w^ doubwy sees himsewf, 
^w^ In >_< each ^w^ eye onye; >_< sweaw ^.^ by x3 youw :3 doubwe ;;w;; sewf, 
xDD And there's >w< an ^-^ oath of >w< cwedit. 
BASSANyIO. Nyay, >_> but hear x3 me. 
^w^ Pawdon ÚwÚ this ^w^ fauwt, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 my :3 souw UwU I >_< sweaw 
UwU I >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe xDD wiww bweak >w< an ^-^ oath with thee. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I >_> once uWu did xDD wend x3 my >w< body fow :33 his ^.^ weawth, 
>_< Which, >_> but fow ^.^ him :3 that xDD had x3 youw husband's *hugs tightly* wing, 
xDD Had quite ^.^ miscawwied; UwU I dawe be bound OwO again, 
OwO My :3 souw ;;w;; upon x3 the ;;w;; fowfeit, :3 that x3 youw ;;w;; wowd 
Will >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe bweak :33 faith ^-^ advisedwy. 
POWTIA. UwU Then xDD you UwU shaww be :33 his suwety. Give ^.^ him uWu this, 
xDD And bid ^.^ him >_< keep >w< it xDD bettew than x3 the :3 othew. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Here, Lord ^-^ Bassanyio, >_< sweaw to >_< keep ÚwÚ this wing. 
BASSANyIO. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, >w< it >_> is x3 the same UwU I uWu gave x3 the uWu doctow! 
POWTIA. UwU I xDD had >w< it of ^.^ him. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, ^-^ Bassanyio, 
For, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this *hugs tightly* wing, x3 the x3 doctow uWu way with x3 me. 
OwO NyEWISSA. xDD And UwU pawdon uWu me, x3 my ^-^ gentwe >_> Gwatianyo, 
For :3 that same scrubbed ^-^ boy, x3 the :3 doctow's ^-^ cwewk, 
^w^ In ÚwÚ wieu of uWu this, >w< wast >w< nyight uWu did >_< wie with x3 me. 
GRATIANO. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is ^.^ wike x3 the xDD mending of ÚwÚ highways 
^w^ In summer, :3 whewe x3 the ways OwO awe >w< faiw enyough. 
What, OwO awe ^.^ we ^w^ cuckowds ere ^.^ we uWu have OwO desewv'd :33 it? 
POWTIA. ^w^ Speak nyot UwU so ^.^ gwosswy. >_> You OwO awe aww amaz'd. 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a wettew; ^w^ wead >w< it uWu at x3 youw leisure; 
^.^ It x3 comes from xDD Padua, from OwO Bewwawio; 
>_> Thewe xDD you UwU shaww find :3 that :33 Powtia UwU was x3 the doctor, 
;;w;; Nyewissa there her xDD cwewk. Lorenzo OwO hewe 
Shall >_> witnyess UwU I uWu set fowth >_< as >w< soon >_< as UwU you, 
xDD And even >_> but nyow return'd; UwU I uWu have nyot yet 
Enter'd x3 my ÚwÚ house. Antonio, xDD you OwO awe wewcome; 
xDD And UwU I uWu have xDD bettew nyews uWu in OwO stowe fow xDD you 
Than xDD you ^.^ expect. ^.^ Unseaw ÚwÚ this >_> wettew x3 soon; 
>_> Thewe xDD you UwU shaww find >w< thwee of x3 youw >w< awgosies 
^w^ Awe :33 wichwy come to uWu hawbouw ÚwÚ suddenwy. 
>_> You UwU shaww nyot ^.^ knyow ^.^ by >_> what ;;w;; stwange :33 accident 
UwU I >w< chanced on ÚwÚ this >_> wettew. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I ^w^ am :33 dumb. 
BASSANyIO. ^.^ Wewe xDD you x3 the doctor, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU knyew xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
GRATIANO. ^.^ Wewe xDD you x3 the OwO cwewk :3 that >_> is to >_< make ;;w;; me x3 cuckowd? 
OwO NyEWISSA. Ay, >_> but x3 the OwO cwewk :3 that >_< nyevew means to UwU do :33 it, 
OwO Unwess ^.^ he ^w^ wive ÚwÚ untiw ^.^ he be :3 a man. 
BASSANyIO. ÚwÚ Sweet doctor, xDD you UwU shaww be x3 my bedfewwow; 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ am uWu absent, xDD then >_< wie with x3 my x3 wife. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ÚwÚ Sweet UwU wady, xDD you uWu have UwU given ;;w;; me >w< wife ÚwÚ and x3 wiving; 
For OwO hewe UwU I ^w^ wead fow xDD cewtain :3 that x3 my ÚwÚ ships 
^w^ Awe >w< safewy come to uWu woad. 
POWTIA. How now, Lorenzo! 
OwO My OwO cwewk hath x3 some ÚwÚ good UwU comfowts ^w^ too fow OwO you. 
OwO NyEWISSA. Ay, ÚwÚ and I'll UwU give them ^.^ him ^-^ without :3 a fee. 
>_> Thewe UwU do UwU I UwU give to xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU Jessica, 
Fwom x3 the rich x3 Jew, :3 a >_> speciaw ^.^ deed of :3 gift, 
>w< Aftew :33 his UwU death, of aww ^.^ he dies >_< possess'd uWu of. 
ÚwÚ WOWENZO. Faiw x3 wadies, xDD you >_< dwop UwU mannya uWu in x3 the uWu way 
Of starved ^-^ peopwe. 
POWTIA. ^.^ It >_> is almost UwU mownying, 
xDD And yet UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you OwO awe nyot ^-^ satisfied 
Of these events uWu at ^w^ fuww. Let >_> us OwO go x3 in, 
xDD And :3 chawge >_> us there ;;w;; upon xDD intew'gatowies, 
xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww answew aww ^.^ things faithfully. 
GRATIANO. Let >w< it be :3 so. uWu The xDD fiwst intew'gatowy 
:33 That x3 my ;;w;; Nyewissa UwU shaww be sworn on ;;w;; is, 
Whethew >w< tiww x3 the :3 nyext >w< nyight ^.^ she xDD had rather ;;w;; stay, 
:33 Ow OwO go to x3 bed now, ^.^ being >w< two >_> houws to x3 day. 
OwO But :3 wewe x3 the day come, UwU I >_> shouwd ÚwÚ wish >w< it >_> dawk, 
Tiww UwU I :3 wewe couching with x3 the :3 doctow's xDD cwewk. 
xDD Weww, OwO whiwe UwU I x3 wive, I'll feaw nyo othew ^.^ thing 
^w^ So ^w^ sowe >_< as ^w^ keeping >_< safe x3 Nyewissa's wing. Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





:33 1601 

^-^ THE uWu MEWWY WIVES ÚwÚ OF WINDSOR 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN FALSTAFF 
UwU FENTON, :3 a xDD young ÚwÚ gentweman 
;;w;; SHAWWOW, :3 a countwy justice 
^.^ SWENDEW, xDD cousin to >_< Shawwow 

^.^ Gentwemen of ^-^ Windsow 
uWu FOWD 
^.^ PAGE 
UwU WIWWIAM PAGE, :3 a ^-^ boy, >_< son to uWu Page 
ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH :33 EVANS, :3 a x3 Wewsh parson 
OwO DOCTOW ;;w;; CAIUS, :3 a OwO Fwench ^.^ physician 
:33 HOST of x3 the >w< Gawtew ^-^ Inn 

OwO Fowwowews of Falstaff 
^.^ BAWDOWPH 
PISTOW 
x3 NYM 
ROBIN, page to Falstaff 
SIMPLE, xDD sewvant to Swendew 
:3 WUGBY, xDD sewvant to uWu Doctow :3 Caius 

xDD MISTWESS uWu FOWD 
xDD MISTWESS ^.^ PAGE 
xDD MISTWESS >w< ANNyE PAGE, her daughter 
xDD MISTWESS QUICKWY, xDD sewvant to uWu Doctow :3 Caius 
^-^ SEWVANTS to >_> Page, :33 Fowd, :33 etc. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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SCENE: 
^w^ Windsow, ÚwÚ and x3 the neighbourhood 


uWu The >_< Mewwy Wives of ^-^ Windsow 



^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

Windsor. ^.^ Befowe >_> PAGE'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ^w^ JUSTICE ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ^.^ SWENDEW, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS 

x3 SHAWWOW. Sir Hugh, :33 pewsuade ;;w;; me x3 nyot; UwU I xDD wiww >_< make :3 a ÚwÚ Staw 
>w< Chambew ;;w;; mattew of uWu it; >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe ÚwÚ twenty Sir John :33 Fawstaffs, 
^.^ he UwU shaww nyot abuse Robert Shallow, esquire. 
x3 SWENDEW. ^w^ In x3 the >_< county of :33 Gwoucestew, Justice of uWu Peace, ÚwÚ and 
OwO Cowam. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Ay, xDD cousin Slender, ÚwÚ and Custalorum. 
x3 SWENDEW. Ay, ÚwÚ and >_> Watowowum :3 too; ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman born, 
>_< Mastew >_> Pawson, who >_< wwites >_< himsewf OwO 'Awmigewo' uWu in xDD any bill, 
warrant, ;;w;; quittance, ow obwigation-'Awmigewo.' 
x3 SHAWWOW. Ay, :3 that UwU I do; ÚwÚ and uWu have donye xDD any time these >w< thwee 
:3 hundwed years. 
x3 SWENDEW. All :33 his :3 successows, >_> gonye >w< befowe :3 him, hath done't; 
ÚwÚ and aww :33 his ancestors, :3 that come ÚwÚ aftew :3 him, xDD may: ;;w;; they OwO may 
UwU give x3 the ^.^ dozen ^-^ white ^.^ wuces uWu in uWu theiw coat. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ It >_> is >w< an ;;w;; owd coat. 
EVANS. uWu The ^.^ dozen ^-^ white louses UwU do :33 become >w< an ;;w;; owd >_> coat well; 
>w< it :3 agwees weww, passant; >w< it >_> is :3 a ^.^ famiwiaw beast to ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and 
OwO signyifies love. 
x3 SHAWWOW. uWu The uWu wuce >_> is x3 the >w< fwesh UwU fish; x3 the ^-^ sawt :33 fish >_> is >w< an ;;w;; owd 
coat. 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I OwO may ^-^ quawtew, :3 coz. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >_> You may, ^.^ by mawwying. 
EVANS. ^.^ It >_> is uWu mawwing :33 indeed, >_> if ^.^ he quarter :3 it. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a whit. 
EVANS. Yes, py'w :33 wady! ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> has :3 a quarter of x3 youw uWu coat, there 
>_> is >_> but >w< thwee skiwts fow yourself, uWu in x3 my :33 simpwe conjectures; 
>_> but :3 that >_> is aww onye. ;;w;; If Sir John Falstaff uWu have >_> committed 
^.^ dispawagements >w< unto UwU you, UwU I ^w^ am of x3 the :33 chuwch, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww be 
uWu gwad to UwU do x3 my xDD benyevowence, to >_< make atonyements ÚwÚ and 
:3 compwemises ^-^ between OwO you. 
x3 SHAWWOW. uWu The Counciw UwU shaww hear uWu it; >w< it >_> is :3 a riot. 
EVANS. ^.^ It >_> is nyot :3 meet x3 the Counciw hear :3 a wiot; there >_> is nyo 
feaw of Got uWu in :3 a wiot; x3 the ^w^ Counciw, wook UwU you, UwU shaww ^.^ desiwe 
to hear x3 the feaw of OwO Got, ÚwÚ and nyot to hear :3 a wiot; OwO take x3 youw 
vizaments uWu in x3 that. 
x3 SHAWWOW. uWu Ha! ^.^ o' x3 my :3 wife, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe xDD young OwO again, x3 the xDD swowd 
>_> shouwd >w< end :3 it. 
EVANS. ^.^ It >_> is petter :3 that ^w^ fwiends >_> is x3 the xDD swowd ÚwÚ and >w< end uWu it; 
ÚwÚ and there >_> is awso anyothew xDD device uWu in x3 my prain, which 
pewadventuwe pwings ÚwÚ goot discretions with :3 it. >_> Thewe >_> is >_> Annye 
>_> Page, which >_> is daughter to >_< Mastew ^w^ Geowge >_> Page, which >_> is 
OwO pwetty virginity. 
x3 SWENDEW. Mistress >_> Annye Page? :33 She >_> has >_> bwown hair, ÚwÚ and 
xDD speaks UwU smaww ^.^ wike :3 a uWu woman. 
EVANS. ^.^ It >_> is :3 that fewy ÚwÚ pewson fow aww x3 the orld, >_< as >w< just >_< as xDD you 
xDD wiww desire; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ seven :3 hundwed uWu pounds of UwU monyeys, ÚwÚ and 
^.^ gowd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ siwvew, >_> is her >_> gwandsiwe ;;w;; upon :33 his :3 death's-bed-Got 
ÚwÚ dewivew to :3 a >w< joyfuw >w< wesuwwections!-give, when ^.^ she >_> is able to 
overtake seventeen years ^-^ owd. ^.^ It :3 wewe :3 a ÚwÚ goot >_> motion >_> if ^.^ we 
OwO weave UwU ouw UwU pwibbwes ÚwÚ and pwabbwes, ÚwÚ and ^.^ desiwe :3 a ^.^ mawwiage 
^-^ between >_< Mastew Abraham ÚwÚ and Mistress >_> Annye ^.^ Page. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Did her >_> gwandsiwe OwO weave her ÚwÚ seven :3 hundwed xDD pound? 
EVANS. Ay, ÚwÚ and her >w< fathew >_> is >_< make her :3 a petter penny. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the xDD young uWu gentwewoman; ^.^ she >_> has ÚwÚ good 
gifts. 
EVANS. ÚwÚ Seven :3 hundwed uWu pounds, ÚwÚ and ^-^ possibiwities, >_> is ÚwÚ goot gifts. 
x3 SHAWWOW. xDD Weww, wet >_> us >_> see xDD honyest >_< Mastew ^.^ Page. Is Falstaff 
OwO thewe? 
EVANS. Shall UwU I tell xDD you :3 a wie? UwU I UwU do >_> despise :3 a liar >_< as UwU I UwU do 
>_> despise one :3 that >_> is x3 fawse; ow >_< as UwU I >_> despise one :3 that >_> is nyot 
true. uWu The knight Sir John >_> is uWu thewe; x3 and, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, be 
^.^ wuwed ^.^ by x3 youw ^w^ weww-wiwwews. UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; peat x3 the doow fow >_< Mastew 
^.^ Page. 
[Knocks] What, ^-^ hoa! Got x3 pwess x3 youw ;;w;; house here! 
xDD PAGE. :33 [Within] Who's OwO thewe? 

Entew ^.^ PAGE 

EVANS. :3 Hewe >_> is >_< Got's ^-^ pwessing, ÚwÚ and x3 youw fwiend, ÚwÚ and Justice 
>w< Shawwow; ÚwÚ and OwO hewe xDD young >_< Mastew Slender, :3 that peradventures 
UwU shaww tell xDD you anyothew :33 tawe, >_> if uWu mattews gwow to x3 youw 
>w< wikings. 
xDD PAGE. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see x3 youw worships well. UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow 
x3 my venison, >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >_< Mastew >_> Page, UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see uWu you; much ÚwÚ good UwU do 
>w< it x3 youw ÚwÚ good :33 heawt! UwU I >w< wish'd x3 youw :33 venyison uWu bettew; >w< it UwU was :33 iww 
kill'd. How xDD doth ÚwÚ good Mistress ÚwÚ Page?-and UwU I >_> thank xDD you 
awways with x3 my uWu heawt, :33 wa! with x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
xDD PAGE. UwU Siw, UwU I >_> thank OwO you. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU Siw, UwU I >_> thank uWu you; ^.^ by >w< yea ÚwÚ and no, UwU I xDD do. 
xDD PAGE. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see UwU you, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew ^.^ Swendew. 
x3 SWENDEW. How does x3 youw ;;w;; fawwow xDD gweyhound, UwU siw? UwU I heard >_> say 
^.^ he UwU was xDD outwun on xDD Cotsaww. 
xDD PAGE. ^.^ It couwd nyot be ^w^ judg'd, sir. 
x3 SWENDEW. You'll nyot >_> confess, you'ww nyot confess. 
x3 SHAWWOW. :33 That ^.^ he xDD wiww not. 'Tis x3 youw fauwt; UwU 'tis x3 youw fauwt; 
UwU 'tis :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 dog. 
xDD PAGE. ^-^ A cur, sir. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU Siw, uWu he's :3 a ÚwÚ good dog, ÚwÚ and :3 a >w< faiw :33 dog. UwU Can there be 
^.^ mowe UwU said? >w< He >_> is UwU good, ÚwÚ and >_< faiw. Is Sir John Falstaff hewe? 
xDD PAGE. UwU Siw, ^.^ he >_> is xDD within; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I couwd UwU do :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ office 
^-^ between OwO you. 
EVANS. ^.^ It >_> is ^-^ spoke >_< as :3 a Chwistians ought to >_< speak. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< He hath wrong'd uWu me, >_< Mastew ^.^ Page. 
xDD PAGE. UwU Siw, ^.^ he xDD doth uWu in x3 some ;;w;; sowt x3 confess :3 it. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ;;w;; If >w< it be ;;w;; confessed, >w< it >_> is nyot redressed; >_> is nyot :3 that 
>_> so, >_< Mastew Page? >w< He hath wrong'd OwO me; ÚwÚ indeed ^.^ he hath; uWu at :3 a 
word, ^.^ he :33 hath, ^-^ bewieve OwO me; Robert Shallow, ;;w;; esquiwe, :3 saith 
^.^ he >_> is wronged. 
xDD PAGE. :3 Hewe x3 comes Sir OwO John. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW >_< JOHN ^-^ FAWSTAFF, uWu BAWDOWPH, ^.^ NYM, ÚwÚ and PISTOW 

>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> Nyow, >_< Mastew Shallow, you'ww :3 compwain of ;;w;; me to 
x3 the >_> King? 
x3 SHAWWOW. Knyight, xDD you uWu have beaten x3 my men, kill'd x3 my deew, 
ÚwÚ and broke open x3 my ;;w;; wodge. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO But nyot >w< kiss'd x3 youw keepew's >w< daughtew. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Tut, :3 a pin! ÚwÚ this UwU shaww be ^w^ answew'd. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I xDD wiww answew >w< it >_> stwaight: UwU I uWu have donye aww UwU this. 
:33 That >_> is nyow ^w^ answew'd. 
x3 SHAWWOW. uWu The Counciw UwU shaww ^.^ knyow UwU this. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu 'Twewe xDD bettew fow xDD you >_> if >w< it :3 wewe ÚwÚ knyown uWu in >_> counsew: 
you'ww be >_< waugh'd at. 
EVANS. :33 Pauca verba, Sir John; ÚwÚ goot UwU wowts. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Good >_< wowts! ÚwÚ good ^.^ cabbage! Slender, UwU I broke x3 youw 
head; >_> what ;;w;; mattew uWu have xDD you OwO against me? 
x3 SWENDEW. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu have ;;w;; mattew uWu in x3 my >_> head OwO against uWu you; 
ÚwÚ and OwO against x3 youw ^.^ cony-catching wascaws, xDD Bawdowph, ;;w;; Nym, 
ÚwÚ and Pistol. ^-^ They cawwied ;;w;; me to x3 the >_< tavewn, ÚwÚ and UwU made ;;w;; me 
dwunk, ÚwÚ and afterwards pick'd x3 my ^-^ pocket. 
BARDOLPH. >_> You Banbuwy ;;w;; cheese! 
x3 SWENDEW. Ay, >w< it >_> is nyo :3 mattew. 
PISTOL. How now, ^w^ Mephostophiwus! 
x3 SWENDEW. Ay, >w< it >_> is nyo :3 mattew. 
OwO NYM. uWu Swice, UwU I ;;w;; say! ^w^ pauca, ;;w;; pauca; swice! >w< That's x3 my humouw. 
x3 SWENDEW. :3 Whewe's xDD Simpwe, x3 my man? UwU Can xDD you uWu teww, cousin? 
EVANS. uWu Peace, UwU I pray OwO you. Now wet >_> us :33 undewstand. >_> Thewe >_> is 
>w< thwee umpires uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< mattew, >_< as UwU I undewstand: :3 that ;;w;; is, 
>_< Mastew >_> Page, x3 fidewicet >_< Mastew ^-^ Page; ÚwÚ and there >_> is myself, 
x3 fidewicet >_< mysewf; ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< thwee party ;;w;; is, lastly ÚwÚ and 
:3 finyawwy, >_< minye host of x3 the uWu Gawtew. 
xDD PAGE. We >w< thwee to hear >w< it ÚwÚ and >w< end >w< it ^-^ between OwO them. 
EVANS. Fery goot. UwU I xDD wiww >_< make :3 a pwief of >w< it uWu in x3 my note-book; 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww afterwards >_> owk ;;w;; upon x3 the cause with >_< as great 
discweetwy >_< as ^.^ we ;;w;; can. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >w< Pistow! 
PISTOL. >w< He x3 heaws with ears. 
EVANS. uWu The OwO teviw ÚwÚ and :33 his tam! >_> What phrase >_> is uWu this, ^-^ 'He x3 heaws 
with ^.^ eaw'? Why, >w< it >_> is xDD affectations. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Pistow, uWu did xDD you pick >_< Mastew >w< Swendew's :33 puwse? 
x3 SWENDEW. Ay, ^.^ by these gloves, uWu did ^-^ he-ow UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^w^ might 
>_< nyevew come uWu in >_< minye UwU own great x3 chambew again ^w^ ewse!-of 
ÚwÚ seven :33 gwoats uWu in mill-sixpences, ÚwÚ and >w< two Edward 
shuvw-boawds :3 that >_> cost ;;w;; me >w< two :33 shiwwing ÚwÚ and >w< two uWu pence :3 apiece 
of uWu Yead Miller, ^.^ by these >_< gwuvs. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Is ÚwÚ this ^-^ twue, :33 Pistow? 
EVANS. :3 Nyo, >w< it >_> is :3 fawse, >_> if >w< it >_> is :3 a pick-puwse. 
PISTOL. >w< Ha, xDD thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John ÚwÚ and >_< mastew 
>_> minye, 
UwU I :33 combat challenge of ÚwÚ this latten biwbo. 
Wowd of denial uWu in >w< thy labras here! 
Wowd of >_< denyiaw! Fwoth ÚwÚ and scum, xDD thou liest. 
x3 SWENDEW. ^-^ By these gloves, >w< then, uWu 'twas he. 
OwO NYM. ^w^ Be ^w^ avis'd, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and pass ÚwÚ good xDD humouws; UwU I xDD wiww >_> say 
OwO 'mawwy ^w^ twap' with UwU you, >_> if xDD you >w< wun x3 the nuthook's humouw on 
OwO me; :3 that >_> is x3 the xDD vewy ^-^ nyote of :3 it. 
x3 SWENDEW. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this hat, >w< then, ^.^ he uWu in x3 the red OwO face xDD had uWu it; fow 
^w^ though UwU I ;;w;; cannyot remember >_> what UwU I uWu did when xDD you UwU made ;;w;; me 
dwunk, yet UwU I ^w^ am nyot ;;w;; awtogethew >w< an ass. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What >_> say UwU you, Scarlet ÚwÚ and ^w^ John? 
BARDOLPH. Why, ^w^ siw, fow x3 my >_> pawt, UwU I >_> say x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman xDD had 
UwU dwunk >_< himsewf x3 out of :33 his five uWu sentences. 
EVANS. ^.^ It >_> is :33 his five x3 senses; >_< fie, >_> what x3 the ÚwÚ ignyowance x3 is! 
BARDOLPH. xDD And ^.^ being fap, ^w^ siw, UwU was, >_< as ;;w;; they say, ^-^ cashiew'd; 
ÚwÚ and UwU so conclusions :33 pass'd x3 the careers. 
x3 SWENDEW. Ay, xDD you x3 spake uWu in ;;w;; Watin xDD then :3 too; >_> but UwU 'tis nyo mattew; 
I'll ^w^ nye'ew be UwU dwunk whiwst UwU I ^w^ wive OwO again, >_> but uWu in OwO honyest, 
x3 civiw, UwU godwy xDD company, fow ÚwÚ this ^.^ twick. ;;w;; If UwU I be dwunk, I'll be 
UwU dwunk with UwU those :3 that uWu have x3 the feaw of :33 God, ÚwÚ and nyot with 
^w^ dwunken >_> knyaves. 
EVANS. ^w^ So Got ;;w;; udge uWu me, :3 that >_> is :3 a virtuous :33 mind. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> You hear aww these uWu mattews deni'd, UwU gentwemen; xDD you 
hear :3 it. 

Entew xDD MISTWESS >w< ANNyE ^.^ PAGE with wine; xDD MISTWESS 
uWu FOWD ÚwÚ and xDD MISTWESS PAGE, fowwowing 

xDD PAGE. Nyay, ^w^ daughtew, carry x3 the winye UwU in; we'll ÚwÚ dwink x3 within. 
uWu Exit >w< ANNyE ^.^ PAGE 
x3 SWENDEW. x3 O :3 heaven! ÚwÚ this >_> is Mistress >_> Annye ^.^ Page. 
xDD PAGE. How now, Mistress ^w^ Fowd! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Mistress :33 Fowd, ^.^ by x3 my troth, xDD you OwO awe xDD vewy weww 
met; ^.^ by x3 youw weave, ÚwÚ good ^w^ mistwess. ^.^ [Kisses :3 hew] 
xDD PAGE. >_< Wife, bid these gentlemen x3 wewcome. ^.^ Come, ^.^ we uWu have :3 a 
:3 hot :33 venyison ÚwÚ pasty to uWu dinnyew; come, xDD gentwemen, UwU I UwU hope ^.^ we 
UwU shaww ÚwÚ dwink down aww unkindnyess. 
Exeunt aww >_> but ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ^.^ SWENDEW, ÚwÚ and UwU EVANS 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I xDD had rather than >w< fowty shiwwings UwU I xDD had x3 my >_< Book of 
>_< Songs ÚwÚ and Sonnyets hewe. 

Entew SIMPLE 

How, Simple! Whewe uWu have xDD you been? UwU I ^w^ must wait on 
myself, ^w^ must >_< I? >_> You uWu have nyot x3 the >_< Book of Widdwes about UwU you, 
uWu have you? 
SIMPLE. >_< Book of Riddles! Why, uWu did xDD you nyot xDD wend >w< it to x3 Awice 
;;w;; Showtcake ;;w;; upon ^-^ Awwhawwowmas last, :3 a fortnight ^-^ afowe 
:33 Michaewmas? 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ coz; come, ÚwÚ coz; ^.^ we xDD stay fow OwO you. ^-^ A ;;w;; wowd 
with UwU you, ÚwÚ coz; marry, uWu this, :33 coz: there ;;w;; is, >_< as :33 'twewe, :3 a 
ÚwÚ tendew, :3 a uWu kind of ÚwÚ tendew, UwU made afaw x3 off ^.^ by Sir ^.^ Hugh hewe. Do 
xDD you understand me? 
x3 SWENDEW. Ay, ^w^ siw, xDD you UwU shaww find ;;w;; me UwU weasonyabwe; >_> if >w< it be >_> so, UwU I 
UwU shaww UwU do :3 that :3 that >_> is reason. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Nyay, >_> but understand x3 me. 
x3 SWENDEW. ^w^ So UwU I UwU do, sir. 
EVANS. Give ear to :33 his ^.^ motions: >_< Mastew Slender, UwU I xDD wiww 
description x3 the ;;w;; mattew to UwU you, >_> if xDD you be ;;w;; capacity of :3 it. 
x3 SWENDEW. Nyay, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do >_< as x3 my xDD cousin >_< Shawwow UwU says; UwU I pray 
xDD you UwU pawdon OwO me; uWu he's :3 a justice of uWu peace uWu in :33 his country, 
:33 simpwe ^w^ though UwU I stand hewe. 
EVANS. OwO But :3 that >_> is nyot x3 the x3 question. uWu The ;;w;; question >_> is 
UwU concewnying x3 youw marriage. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Ay, there's x3 the UwU point, sir. 
EVANS. Marry >_> is uWu it; x3 the xDD vewy :33 point of uWu it; to Mistress >_> Annye 
^.^ Page. 
x3 SWENDEW. Why, >_> if >w< it be >_> so, UwU I xDD wiww marry her ;;w;; upon xDD any 
^.^ weasonyabwe ÚwÚ demands. 
EVANS. OwO But ^.^ can xDD you :3 affection x3 the >w< oman? Let >_> us ÚwÚ command to 
^.^ knyow :3 that of x3 youw xDD mouth ow of x3 youw lips; fow divers philosophers 
howd :3 that x3 the lips >_> is parcel of x3 the xDD mouth. >_< Thewefowe, 
precisely, ^.^ can xDD you carry x3 youw ÚwÚ good xDD wiww to x3 the maid? 
x3 SHAWWOW. x3 Cousin Abraham Slender, ^.^ can xDD you wuv OwO hew? 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I hope, ^w^ siw, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do >_< as >w< it UwU shaww :33 become one :3 that 
^.^ wouwd UwU do reason. 
EVANS. Nyay, >_< Got's wowds ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU wadies! xDD you ^w^ must speak ;;w;; possitabwe, 
>_> if xDD you ^.^ can carry her x3 youw desiwes uWu towawds her. 
x3 SHAWWOW. :33 That xDD you must. Will UwU you, ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ good >_< dowwy, 
marry OwO hew? 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :3 a :33 gweatew ^.^ thing than :3 that ;;w;; upon x3 youw ÚwÚ wequest, 
OwO cousin, uWu in xDD any reason. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Nyay, :33 conceive uWu me, :33 conceive uWu me, x3 sweet ÚwÚ coz; >_> what 
UwU I UwU do >_> is to :3 pweasuwe UwU you, :3 coz. UwU Can xDD you wuv x3 the maid? 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I xDD wiww marry hew, ^w^ siw, uWu at x3 youw :3 wequest; >_> but >_> if there 
be nyo great wuv uWu in x3 the beginnying, yet heaven OwO may :33 decwease 
>w< it ;;w;; upon xDD bettew ÚwÚ acquaintance, when ^.^ we OwO awe mawwied ÚwÚ and 
uWu have ^.^ mowe ;;w;; occasion to ^.^ knyow one anyothew. UwU I UwU hope ;;w;; upon 
:3 famiwiawity xDD wiww gwow ^.^ mowe ^w^ contempt. OwO But >_> if xDD you >_> say 
OwO 'mawwy her,' UwU I xDD wiww marry >w< hew; :3 that UwU I ^w^ am freely >_> dissowved, 
ÚwÚ and >_> dissowutewy. 
EVANS. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a fewy discretion ÚwÚ answew, :3 save x3 the faww >_> is uWu in x3 the 
;;w;; owd x3 'dissowutewy': x3 the x3 owt ;;w;; is, accowding to UwU ouw meanying, 
^w^ 'wesowutewy'; :33 his meaning >_> is UwU good. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Ay, UwU I think x3 my xDD cousin meant well. 
x3 SWENDEW. Ay, ow >_> ewse UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^w^ might be uWu hang'd, :33 wa! 

^.^ We-entew >w< ANNyE ^.^ PAGE 

x3 SHAWWOW. :3 Hewe x3 comes >w< faiw Mistress ÚwÚ Annye. Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe 
xDD young fow x3 youw ^w^ sake, Mistress Anne! 
ANNE. uWu The dinner >_> is on x3 the table; x3 my >w< fathew desiwes x3 youw 
>w< wowships' UwU company. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU I xDD wiww wait on :3 him, >w< faiw Mistress Anne! 
EVANS. x3 Od's >w< pwessed will! UwU I xDD wiww nyot be >w< absence uWu at x3 the grace. 
Exeunt UwU SHAWWOW ÚwÚ and UwU EVANS 
ANNE. Will't uWu pwease x3 youw :33 wowship to come x3 in, UwU siw? 
x3 SWENDEW. :3 Nyo, UwU I >_> thank UwU you, xDD fowsooth, :3 heawtiwy; UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy 
well. 
ANNE. uWu The dinner ^.^ attends UwU you, sir. 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I ^w^ am nyot ^-^ a-hungwy, UwU I >_> thank UwU you, ^-^ fowsooth. ^w^ Go, 
sirrah, fow aww xDD you OwO awe x3 my ^w^ man, OwO go wait ;;w;; upon x3 my xDD cousin 
:3 Shawwow. ;;w;; [Exit ;;w;; SIMPWE] ^-^ A justice of uWu peace ÚwÚ sometime OwO may 
be beholding to :33 his :33 fwiend fow :3 a man. UwU I >_< keep >_> but >w< thwee ;;w;; men 
ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; boy ^w^ yet, >w< tiww x3 my mothew be uWu dead. OwO But >_> what UwU though? 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^w^ wive ^.^ wike :3 a poor ÚwÚ gentweman born. 
ANNE. UwU I OwO may nyot OwO go uWu in ^-^ without x3 youw wowship; ;;w;; they xDD wiww nyot 
sit >w< tiww xDD you x3 come. 
x3 SWENDEW. xDD I' ^w^ faith, I'll eat uWu nyothing; UwU I >_> thank xDD you >_< as much >_< as 
^w^ though UwU I ^.^ did. 
ANNE. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, UwU wawk ^.^ in. 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I xDD had rather UwU wawk UwU hewe, UwU I >_> thank OwO you. UwU I uWu bwuis'd x3 my 
^.^ shin x3 th' othew day with :3 pwaying uWu at xDD swowd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ daggew with 
:3 a >_< mastew of >w< fence-thwee uWu venyeys fow :3 a ^w^ dish of UwU stew'd ^-^ pwunyes 
-and, UwU I with x3 my ward x3 defending x3 my head, ^.^ he :3 hot x3 my :33 shin, 
x3 and, ^.^ by x3 my troth, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot abide x3 the smell of :3 hot :3 meat 
since. Why UwU do x3 youw ^.^ dogs >_< bawk so? ^w^ Be there bears :33 i' x3 th' 
>_< town? 
ANNE. UwU I think there awe, siw; UwU I heard them ^w^ tawk'd uWu of. 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I wuv x3 the spowt well; >_> but UwU I UwU shaww >_< as >w< soon ^-^ quawwew uWu at 
>w< it >_< as xDD any x3 man uWu in ^w^ Engwand. >_> You OwO awe afraid, >_> if xDD you >_> see x3 the 
UwU beaw UwU woose, OwO awe xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
ANNE. Ay, :33 indeed, sir. 
x3 SWENDEW. >w< That's :3 meat ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dwink to ;;w;; me now. UwU I uWu have :3 seen 
>w< Sackewson ;;w;; woose ÚwÚ twenty xDD times, ÚwÚ and uWu have :33 taken ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 the 
chain; >_> but UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, x3 the x3 women uWu have UwU so cried ÚwÚ and 
shriek'd uWu at >w< it :3 that >w< it x3 pass'd; >_> but UwU women, :33 indeed, ;;w;; cannyot 
abide >w< 'em; ;;w;; they OwO awe xDD vewy :3 iww-favouw'd OwO wough xDD things. 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ PAGE 

xDD PAGE. ^.^ Come, ^-^ gentwe >_< Mastew Slender, >_< come; ^.^ we xDD stay fow OwO you. 
x3 SWENDEW. I'll eat uWu nyothing, UwU I >_> thank UwU you, sir. 
xDD PAGE. ^-^ By >_> cock ÚwÚ and ^-^ pie, xDD you UwU shaww nyot UwU choose, sir! ^.^ Come, 
x3 come. 
x3 SWENDEW. Nyay, pray xDD you lead x3 the >_> way. 
xDD PAGE. :3 Come ;;w;; on, sir. 
x3 SWENDEW. Mistress ÚwÚ Annye, >_> youwsewf UwU shaww OwO go fiwst. 
ANNE. ÚwÚ Nyot I, siw; pray xDD you >_< keep :3 on. 
x3 SWENDEW. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO go first; OwO twuwy, :33 wa! UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU do 
xDD you :3 that wrong. 
ANNE. UwU I pray UwU you, sir. 
x3 SWENDEW. I'll rather be uWu unmannyewwy than troublesome. >_> You 
UwU do >_> youwsewf wrong :33 indeed, :33 wa! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

^.^ Befowe >_> PAGE'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS ÚwÚ and SIMPLE 

EVANS. Go x3 youw >w< ways, ÚwÚ and ^w^ ask of uWu Doctow >w< Caius' ;;w;; house which 
>_> is x3 the way; ÚwÚ and there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which 
>_> is uWu in x3 the ^w^ mannyew of :33 his xDD nyuwse, ow :33 his xDD dwy xDD nyuwse, ow :33 his cook, 
ow :33 his UwU waundwy, :33 his OwO washew, ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu wwingew. 
SIMPLE. xDD Weww, sir. 
EVANS. Nyay, >w< it >_> is petter >_> yet. Give her ÚwÚ this wettew; fow >w< it >_> is :3 a 
oman :3 that altogether's >_< acquaintance with Mistress >_> Annye 
^-^ Page; ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> wettew >_> is to ^.^ desiwe ÚwÚ and xDD wequiwe her to sowicit 
x3 youw xDD mastew's desiwes to Mistress >_> Annye ^.^ Page. UwU I pray xDD you 
be ;;w;; gonye. UwU I xDD wiww >_< make >w< an >w< end of x3 my uWu dinnyew; there's xDD pippins 
ÚwÚ and :3 cheese to x3 come. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

uWu The >w< Gawtew ^-^ Inn 

Entew ^-^ FAWSTAFF, x3 HOST, uWu BAWDOWPH, ^.^ NYM, x3 PISTOW, ÚwÚ and ROBIN 

>_> FAWSTAFF. Mine host of x3 the Garter! 
xDD HOST. >_> What ;;w;; says x3 my ^.^ buwwy rook? ^w^ Speak xDD schowawwy ÚwÚ and 
wisely. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Twuwy, >_< minye >_< host, UwU I ^w^ must turn OwO away x3 some of x3 my 
fowwowews. 
xDD HOST. Discard, ^.^ buwwy :33 Hewcuwes; >_> cashiew; wet them wag; trot, 
;;w;; twot. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I sit uWu at ;;w;; ten uWu pounds :3 a x3 week. 
xDD HOST. ^w^ Thou'wt >w< an empewow-Caesaw, Keiser, ÚwÚ and Pheazaw. UwU I 
xDD wiww entertain Bardolph; ^.^ he UwU shaww dwaw, ^.^ he UwU shaww :33 tap; uWu said UwU I 
weww, ^.^ buwwy Hector? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Do >_> so, ÚwÚ good >_< minye >_< host. 
xDD HOST. UwU I uWu have spoke; wet ^.^ him x3 fowwow. :33 [To ÚwÚ BAWDOWPH] Let ;;w;; me 
>_> see uWu thee uWu fwoth ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wime. UwU I ^w^ am uWu at :3 a wowd; x3 fowwow. uWu Exit :33 HOST 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD Bawdowph, ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him. ^-^ A tapster >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ twade; 
>w< an ;;w;; owd uWu cwoak x3 makes :3 a x3 nyew jerkin; :3 a :33 withew'd uWu sewving-man :3 a 
>w< fwesh tapster. :33 Go; ^w^ adieu. 
BARDOLPH. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a >w< wife :3 that UwU I uWu have xDD desiw'd; UwU I xDD wiww :33 thwive. 
PISTOL. x3 O UwU base Hungarian wight! ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou x3 the ;;w;; spigot 
^w^ wiewd? uWu Exit ^.^ BAWDOWPH 
OwO NYM. >w< He UwU was >_< gotten uWu in ^-^ dwink. Is nyot x3 the humouw xDD conceited? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad UwU I ^w^ am UwU so xDD acquit of ÚwÚ this ^-^ tindew-box: :33 his 
uWu thefts :3 wewe ^w^ too >w< open; :33 his ÚwÚ fiwching UwU was ^.^ wike >w< an unskiwfuw 
uWu singew-he :33 kept nyot uWu time. 
OwO NYM. uWu The ÚwÚ good humouw >_> is to ^.^ steaw uWu at :3 a minyute's rest. 
PISTOL. 'Convey' x3 the uWu wise >w< it :33 caww. 'Steal' :3 foh! ^-^ A fico fow x3 the 
uWu phwase! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD Weww, sirs, UwU I ^w^ am almost x3 out uWu at xDD heews. 
PISTOL. Why, >w< then, wet >_< kibes >_> ensue. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo ÚwÚ wemedy; UwU I ^w^ must :33 cony-catch; UwU I ^w^ must 
>_> shift. 
PISTOL. Young wavens ^w^ must uWu have x3 food. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< Which of xDD you ^.^ knyow >_< Fowd of ÚwÚ this >_< town? 
PISTOL. UwU I >_< ken x3 the >_> wight; ^.^ he >_> is of ÚwÚ substance UwU good. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My xDD honyest >w< wads, UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you >_> what UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ about. 
PISTOL. Two ^.^ yawds, ÚwÚ and more. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. No uWu quips now, Pistol. >w< Indeed, UwU I ^w^ am uWu in x3 the x3 waist 
>w< two ^.^ yawds >_> about; >_> but UwU I ^w^ am nyow about nyo :33 waste; UwU I ^w^ am about 
>w< thwift. ÚwÚ Bwiefwy, UwU I UwU do >_> mean to >_< make wuv to Ford's :33 wife; UwU I 
^w^ spy entewtainment uWu in >w< hew; ^.^ she discourses, ^.^ she uWu cawves, ^.^ she 
;;w;; gives x3 the x3 weew of xDD invitation; UwU I ^.^ can construe x3 the uWu action of her 
^.^ famiwiaw ^-^ stywe; ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO hawdest uWu voice of her behaviour, to be 
>_> Engwish'd ÚwÚ wightwy, >_> is ÚwÚ 'I ^w^ am Sir John Fawstaff's.' 
PISTOL. >w< He hath xDD studied her weww, ÚwÚ and twanswated her xDD wiww x3 out 
of honesty x3 into Engwish. 
OwO NYM. uWu The ÚwÚ anchow >_> is >_> deep; xDD wiww :3 that humouw xDD pass? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> Nyow, x3 the wepowt xDD goes ^.^ she >_> has aww x3 the UwU wuwe of her 
husband's purse; ^.^ he hath :3 a wegion of angels. 
PISTOL. ;;w;; As UwU many xDD deviws entertain; ÚwÚ and uWu 'To hew, ;;w;; boy,' >_> say ^.^ I. 
OwO NYM. uWu The humouw :33 wises; >w< it >_> is good; humouw ;;w;; me x3 the angels. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I uWu have ^-^ wwit ;;w;; me OwO hewe :3 a >_> wettew to >w< hew; ÚwÚ and OwO hewe 
anyothew to >_> Page's :3 wife, who even nyow uWu gave ;;w;; me ÚwÚ good eyes 
:3 too, UwU examin'd x3 my parts with UwU most >_< judicious oeiwwades; 
x3 sometimes x3 the ^.^ beam of her x3 view :3 giwded x3 my xDD foot, x3 sometimes x3 my 
portly bewwy. 
PISTOL. UwU Then uWu did x3 the sun on *teleports behind you* dunghiww shinye. 
OwO NYM. UwU I >_> thank uWu thee fow :3 that humouw. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< O, ^.^ she uWu did UwU so course ^-^ o'ew x3 my extewiows with xDD such 
:3 a gweedy intention :3 that x3 the xDD appetite of her ^w^ eye uWu did xDD seem to 
>_> scowch ;;w;; me x3 up ^.^ wike :3 a :3 buwnying-gwass! >_> Hewe's anyothew >_> wettew to 
her. :33 She bears x3 the >_< puwse :3 too; ^.^ she >_> is :3 a wegion uWu in xDD Guianya, aww 
gowd ÚwÚ and x3 bounty. UwU I xDD wiww be cheatews to them xDD both, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they 
UwU shaww be >_> exchequews to OwO me; ;;w;; they UwU shaww be x3 my East ÚwÚ and xDD West 
Indies, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww OwO twade to them xDD both. ^w^ Go, UwU beaw xDD thou ÚwÚ this 
>_> wettew to Mistress ^-^ Page; ÚwÚ and xDD thou ÚwÚ this to Mistress x3 Fowd. We 
xDD wiww thwive, >w< wads, ^.^ we xDD wiww :33 thwive. 
PISTOL. Shall UwU I Sir Pandarus of Twoy xDD become, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 my x3 side ^-^ weaw steel? UwU Then Wucifew OwO take :33 aww! 
OwO NYM. UwU I xDD wiww >w< wun nyo UwU base humouw. Here, OwO take x3 the 
xDD humouw-wettew; UwU I xDD wiww >_< keep x3 the :33 haviouw of weputation. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 [To >_> WOBIN] UwU Howd, siwwah; UwU beaw xDD you these x3 wettews 
;;w;; tightwy; 
Sail ^.^ wike x3 my xDD pinnyace to these golden shores. 
x3 Wogues, hence, avaunt! :3 vanyish ^.^ wike x3 haiwstonyes, go; 
Trudge, plod OwO away :33 i' x3 th' uWu hoof; >_> seek shewtew, ;;w;; pack! 
Falstaff xDD wiww :3 weawn x3 the humouw of x3 the >_> age; 
OwO Fwench thwift, xDD you xDD wogues; myself, ÚwÚ and UwU skiwted ^.^ page. 
Exeunt FALSTAFF ÚwÚ and ROBIN 
PISTOL. Let xDD vuwtuwes gripe >w< thy OwO guts! fow gouwd ÚwÚ and fullam 
^-^ howds, 
xDD And xDD high ÚwÚ and wow beguiwes x3 the rich ÚwÚ and poor; 
Tester I'll uWu have uWu in pouch when xDD thou shalt lack, 
>w< Base >w< Phwygian Turk! 
OwO NYM. UwU I uWu have >_< opewations uWu in x3 my >_> head which be humours of 
revenge. 
PISTOL. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou revenge? 
OwO NYM. ^-^ By welkin ÚwÚ and her staw! 
PISTOL. With wit ow steel? 
OwO NYM. With both x3 the >_< humouws, ^.^ I. 
UwU I xDD wiww discuss x3 the humouw of ÚwÚ this wuv to ^.^ Page. 
PISTOL. xDD And UwU I to >_< Fowd UwU shaww eke ^w^ unfowd 
How :33 Fawstaff, vawwet ^w^ viwe, 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ duv xDD wiww prove, :33 his gowd xDD wiww OwO howd, 
xDD And :33 his soft UwU couch ^w^ defiwe. 
OwO NYM. OwO My humouw UwU shaww nyot coow; UwU I xDD wiww >w< incense uWu Page to deal 
with ÚwÚ poison; UwU I xDD wiww possess ^.^ him with yewwownyess; fow x3 the 
;;w;; wevowt of >_< minye >_> is :33 dangewous. :33 That >_> is x3 my true humouw. 
PISTOL. ^.^ Thou awt x3 the uWu Maws of malcontents; UwU I second ÚwÚ thee; 
troop :3 on. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

OwO DOCTOW >_< CAIUS'S ;;w;; house 

Entew xDD MISTWESS QUICKWY, SIMPLE, ÚwÚ and WUGBY 

^-^ QUICKWY. What, John >_> Wugby! UwU I pray uWu thee OwO go to x3 the >_< casement 
ÚwÚ and >_> see >_> if xDD you ^.^ can >_> see x3 my ^.^ mastew, >_< Mastew uWu Doctow 
Caius, :3 coming. ;;w;; If ^.^ he UwU do, :33 i' ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ and find anybody uWu in x3 the 
house, OwO hewe xDD wiww be >w< an ;;w;; owd abusing of >_> God's uWu patience ÚwÚ and 
x3 the >_< King's Engwish. 
RUGBY. I'll OwO go :33 watch. 
^-^ QUICKWY. :33 Go; ÚwÚ and we'll uWu have :3 a :33 posset for't >w< soon uWu at night, uWu in 
^w^ faith, uWu at x3 the UwU wattew >w< end of :3 a >_> sea-coaw >_> fiwe. ;;w;; [Exit >_> WUGBY] ^-^ An 
OwO honyest, >_> wiwwing, uWu kind fewwow, >_< as OwO evew xDD sewvant UwU shaww come uWu in 
;;w;; house withal; x3 and, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, nyo tell-tale nor nyo 
breed-bate; :33 his worst ;;w;; fauwt >_> is :3 that ^.^ he >_> is UwU given to uWu pwayew; ^.^ he >_> is 
^-^ something >_> peevish :3 that way; >_> but >w< nyobody >_> but >_> has :33 his fauwt; 
>_> but wet :3 that :3 pass. Petew UwU Simpwe xDD you >_> say x3 youw xDD nyame :33 is? 
SIMPLE. Ay, fow ;;w;; fauwt of :3 a ^-^ bettew. 
^-^ QUICKWY. xDD And >_< Mastew >w< Swendew's x3 youw ÚwÚ mastew? 
SIMPLE. Ay, ^-^ fowsooth. 
^-^ QUICKWY. ÚwÚ Does ^.^ he nyot ^-^ weaw :3 a great ;;w;; wound UwU beawd, ^.^ wike :3 a 
:3 gwuvw's pawing-knyife? 
SIMPLE. :3 Nyo, forsooth; ^.^ he hath >_> but :3 a xDD wittwe whey >w< face, with :3 a 
xDD wittwe >w< yewwow UwU beawd, :3 a Cain-colour'd :3 beawd. 
^-^ QUICKWY. ^-^ A :33 softwy-spwighted ^w^ man, >_> is ^.^ he ^w^ nyot? 
SIMPLE. Ay, forsooth; >_> but ^.^ he >_> is >_< as ;;w;; taww :3 a x3 man of :33 his ^.^ hands >_< as 
xDD any >_> is ^-^ between ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and :33 his head; ^.^ he hath ÚwÚ fought with :3 a 
>_< wawwenyew. 
^-^ QUICKWY. How >_> say you? >_< O, UwU I >_> shouwd remember ^.^ him. ÚwÚ Does 
^.^ he nyot howd x3 up :33 his head, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, ÚwÚ and ^w^ stwut uWu in :33 his ;;w;; gait? 
SIMPLE. Yes, :33 indeed, does he. 
^-^ QUICKWY. xDD Weww, heaven >_> send >_> Annye uWu Page nyo xDD wowse fortune! 
Teww >_< Mastew Pawson ^w^ Evans UwU I xDD wiww UwU do >_> what UwU I ^.^ can fow x3 youw 
master. >_> Annye >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good OwO giww, ÚwÚ and UwU I wish- 

^.^ We-entew WUGBY 

RUGBY. Out, ^.^ awas! OwO hewe x3 comes x3 my master. 
^-^ QUICKWY. We UwU shaww aww be ^-^ shent. OwO Wun uWu in UwU hewe, ÚwÚ good xDD young 
xDD man; OwO go x3 into ÚwÚ this >_> cwoset. >_< [Shuts SIMPLE uWu in x3 the ^-^ cwoset] >w< He 
xDD wiww nyot xDD stay wong. What, John >_> Wugby! John! x3 what, John, 
UwU I ;;w;; say! ^w^ Go, John, OwO go ^.^ inquiwe fow x3 my mastew; UwU I doubt ^.^ he be 
nyot weww :3 that ^.^ he x3 comes nyot >_> home. [Singing] 
xDD And ;;w;; down, ;;w;; down, UwU adown-a, :33 etc. 

Entew OwO DOCTOW >_> CAIUS 

xDD CAIUS. >_> Vat >_> is xDD you UwU sing? UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike ^.^ des toys. >_> Pway UwU you, OwO go 
ÚwÚ and >_> vetch ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my cwoset ÚwÚ un OwO boitiew uWu vewt-a OwO box, :3 a :3 gween-a 
xDD box. Do intend :3 vat UwU I x3 speak? ^-^ A :3 gween-a xDD box. 
^-^ QUICKWY. Ay, xDD fowsooth, I'll :3 fetch >w< it OwO you. :3 [Aside] UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad 
^.^ he OwO went nyot uWu in :33 himsewf; >_> if ^.^ he xDD had >_> found x3 the xDD young ^w^ man, 
^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 been ^-^ hown-mad. 
xDD CAIUS. ÚwÚ Fe, >w< fe, ÚwÚ fe UwU fe! ma foi, x3 iw :3 fait x3 fowt chaud. >w< Je ÚwÚ m'en >w< vais :3 a 
UwU wa cour-la uWu gwande affaire. 
^-^ QUICKWY. Is >w< it uWu this, UwU siw? 
xDD CAIUS. ÚwÚ Oui; >_> mette ^.^ we au UwU mon ^-^ pocket: depeche, >w< quickwy. ^.^ Vewe 
>_> is ^.^ dat ^-^ knyave, x3 Wugby? 
^-^ QUICKWY. What, John x3 Wugby? John! 
RUGBY. Here, sir. 
xDD CAIUS. >_> You OwO awe John x3 Wugby, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe x3 Jack :33 Wugby. 
^.^ Come, take-a x3 youw wapiew, ÚwÚ and come ÚwÚ aftew x3 my OwO heew to x3 the 
>_< couwt. 
RUGBY. 'Tis :3 weady, ^w^ siw, OwO hewe uWu in x3 the UwU powch. 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By x3 my trot, UwU I ^.^ tawwy ^w^ too wong. x3 Od's me! Qu'ai :33 j'oubwie? 
;;w;; Dewe >_> is x3 some :33 simpwes uWu in x3 my cwoset ^.^ dat UwU I viww nyot fow x3 the 
^w^ vawwd UwU I UwU shaww OwO weave behind. 
^-^ QUICKWY. uWu Ay uWu me, he'ww find x3 the xDD young x3 man thewe, ÚwÚ and be 
OwO mad! 
xDD CAIUS. x3 O diabwe, diable! :3 vat >_> is uWu in x3 my ^-^ cwoset? uWu Viwwainy! wawwon! 
UwU [Puwwing SIMPLE out] x3 Wugby, x3 my uWu wapiew! 
^-^ QUICKWY. ^-^ Good ^.^ mastew, be OwO content. 
xDD CAIUS. ÚwÚ Whewefowe UwU shaww UwU I be >w< content-a? 
^-^ QUICKWY. uWu The xDD young x3 man >_> is >w< an xDD honyest man. 
xDD CAIUS. >_> What UwU shaww UwU de xDD honyest x3 man UwU do uWu in x3 my ^-^ cwoset? ;;w;; Dewe >_> is 
nyo xDD honyest x3 man ^.^ dat UwU shaww come uWu in x3 my >_> cwoset. 
^-^ QUICKWY. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, be nyot UwU so >_> phwegmatic; hear x3 the 
uWu twuth of :3 it. >w< He ^-^ came of >w< an x3 ewwand to ;;w;; me from Pawson ;;w;; Hugh. 
xDD CAIUS. OwO Veww? 
SIMPLE. Ay, xDD fowsooth, to ^.^ desiwe her xDD to- 
^-^ QUICKWY. uWu Peace, UwU I pray OwO you. 
xDD CAIUS. UwU Peace-a x3 youw :33 tongue. ;;w;; Speak-a x3 youw ^-^ tawe. 
SIMPLE. ;;w;; To ^.^ desiwe ÚwÚ this xDD honyest gentwewoman, x3 youw ;;w;; maid, to 
speak :3 a ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wowd to Mistress >_> Annye uWu Page fow x3 my ^.^ mastew, 
uWu in x3 the uWu way of marriage. 
^-^ QUICKWY. This >_> is all, :33 indeed, :33 wa! >_> but I'll ^w^ nye'ew put x3 my finger 
uWu in x3 the ^w^ fiwe, ÚwÚ and >_< nyeed not. 
xDD CAIUS. Sir ^.^ Hugh ^-^ send-a you? x3 Wugby, ^w^ baiwwez ;;w;; me x3 some ^.^ papew. 
^.^ Tawwy xDD you :3 a little-a-while. :3 [Wwites] 
^-^ QUICKWY. ^-^ [Aside to ;;w;; SIMPWE] UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad ^.^ he >_> is UwU so ^.^ quiet; >_> if ^.^ he 
xDD had :33 been throughly UwU muvd, xDD you >_> shouwd uWu have heard ^.^ him 
UwU so ÚwÚ woud ÚwÚ and UwU so :3 mewanchowy. OwO But >w< nyotwithstanding, ^w^ man, I'll 
UwU do xDD you x3 youw >_< mastew >_> what ÚwÚ good UwU I can; ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD vewy >w< yea ÚwÚ and 
x3 the nyo ;;w;; is, x3 the OwO Fwench doctor, x3 my >_> mastew-I OwO may caww ^.^ him 
x3 my ^.^ mastew, wook UwU you, fow UwU I >_< keep :33 his ^.^ house; ÚwÚ and UwU I ÚwÚ wash, 
wring, OwO bwew, xDD bake, UwU scouw, :3 dwess :3 meat ÚwÚ and dwink, >_< make x3 the 
:3 beds, ÚwÚ and UwU do aww myself- 
SIMPLE. ^-^ [Aside to x3 QUICKWY] 'Tis :3 a great :3 chawge to come 
:33 undew one body's >w< hand. 
^-^ QUICKWY. ^-^ [Aside to ;;w;; SIMPWE] ^w^ Awe xDD you >_> avis'd ^.^ o' ^-^ that? >_> You 
UwU shaww find >w< it :3 a great chawge; ÚwÚ and to be x3 up early ÚwÚ and down 
late; >_> but UwU nyotwithstanding-to tell xDD you uWu in x3 youw eaw, UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
uWu have nyo wowds of ^.^ it-my >_< mastew >_< himsewf >_> is uWu in wuv with 
Mistress >_> Annye ^-^ Page; >_> but :3 nyotwithstanding :3 that, UwU I ^.^ knyow 
Anne's mind-that's :3 nyeithew OwO hewe nor :33 thewe. 
xDD CAIUS. >_> You ^.^ jack'nyape; uWu give-a ÚwÚ this >_> wettew to Sir UwU Hugh; ^.^ by ;;w;; gaw, 
>w< it >_> is :3 a shawwenge; UwU I xDD wiww :3 cut :33 his ^.^ twoat uWu in UwU de park; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww 
>_< teach :3 a ^.^ scuwvy ^-^ jack-a-nyape priest to UwU meddwe ow >_> make. >_> You 
OwO may be xDD gonye; >w< it >_> is nyot ÚwÚ good xDD you ^.^ tawwy hewe. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, UwU I xDD wiww 
:3 cut aww :33 his >w< two ;;w;; stonyes; ^.^ by ;;w;; gaw, ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot uWu have :3 a stone 
to ^-^ thwow uWu at :33 his :33 dog. uWu Exit SIMPLE 
^-^ QUICKWY. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ he xDD speaks >_> but fow :33 his :3 fwiend. 
xDD CAIUS. ^.^ It >_> is nyo ;;w;; mattew-a ;;w;; vew ^-^ dat. Do nyot xDD you >w< teww-a ;;w;; me ^.^ dat UwU I 
UwU shaww uWu have >_> Annye uWu Page fow myself? ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, UwU I viww OwO kiww UwU de x3 Jack 
pwiest; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have uWu appointed >_< minye host of UwU de OwO Jawteew to 
UwU measuwe UwU ouw >_< weapon. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, UwU I xDD wiww mysewf uWu have >_> Annye 
^.^ Page. 
^-^ QUICKWY. UwU Siw, x3 the >_< maid loves UwU you, ÚwÚ and aww UwU shaww be well. We 
^w^ must UwU give folks OwO weave to prate. >_> What x3 the ;;w;; good-yeaw! 
xDD CAIUS. x3 Wugby, come to x3 the court with x3 me. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, >_> if UwU I uWu have 
nyot >_> Annye >_> Page, UwU I UwU shaww turn x3 youw >_> head x3 out of x3 my UwU doow. 
Follow x3 my heews, :33 Wugby. Exeunt >_> CAIUS ÚwÚ and WUGBY 
^-^ QUICKWY. >_> You UwU shaww >_< have-An :33 foow's-head of x3 youw own. :3 Nyo, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow Anne's ^-^ mind fow :33 that; >_< nyevew :3 a OwO woman uWu in ^-^ Windsow 
xDD knyows ^.^ mowe of Anne's ^-^ mind than UwU I do; nor ^.^ can UwU do ^.^ mowe 
than UwU I UwU do with hew, UwU I >_> thank UwU heaven. 
>_< FENTON. :33 [Within] Who's within OwO thewe? ho! 
^-^ QUICKWY. Who's thewe, UwU I trow? :3 Come nyeaw x3 the house, UwU I pray 
OwO you. 

Entew FENTON 

>_< FENTON. How now, ÚwÚ good ^w^ woman, >w< how dost thou? 
^-^ QUICKWY. uWu The xDD bettew :3 that >w< it x3 pweases x3 youw ÚwÚ good :33 wowship to 
xDD ask. 
>_< FENTON. >_> What nyews? How does OwO pwetty Mistress Anne? 
^-^ QUICKWY. ^w^ In truth, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she >_> is pretty, ÚwÚ and OwO honyest, ÚwÚ and 
gentle; ÚwÚ and one :3 that >_> is x3 youw fwiend, UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you :3 that ^.^ by 
x3 the way; UwU I praise heaven fow :3 it. 
>_< FENTON. Shall UwU I UwU do xDD any UwU good, think'st thou? Shall UwU I nyot wose 
x3 my suit? 
^-^ QUICKWY. Troth, ^w^ siw, aww >_> is uWu in ÚwÚ His ^.^ hands above; >_> but 
>w< nyotwithstanding, >_< Mastew Fenton, I'll be sworn on :3 a ^w^ book 
^.^ she loves OwO you. :3 Have nyot x3 youw :33 wowship :3 a x3 wawt :33 abuv x3 youw ÚwÚ eye? 
>_< FENTON. Yes, marry, uWu have x3 I; >_> what of ^-^ that? 
^-^ QUICKWY. xDD Weww, theweby uWu hangs :3 a tale; ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, >w< it >_> is xDD such 
anyothew Nan; but, UwU I detest, >w< an xDD honyest >_< maid >_< as OwO evew broke 
bread. We xDD had >w< an hour's tawk of :3 that wawt; UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew 
laugh >_> but uWu in :3 that maid's ;;w;; company! But, :33 indeed, ^.^ she >_> is 
UwU given ^w^ too much to x3 awwichowy ÚwÚ and xDD musing; >_> but fow you-weww, 
OwO go ;;w;; to. 
>_< FENTON. xDD Weww, UwU I UwU shaww >_> see her ^w^ to-day. UwU Howd, there's monyey 
fow ÚwÚ thee; wet ;;w;; me uWu have >w< thy uWu voice uWu in x3 my ^.^ behawf. ;;w;; If xDD thou seest 
her >w< befowe uWu me, ÚwÚ commend x3 me. 
^-^ QUICKWY. Will >_< I? xDD I' ^w^ faith, :3 that ^.^ we :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww tell x3 youw 
:33 wowship ^.^ mowe of x3 the x3 wawt x3 the :3 nyext time ^.^ we uWu have :33 confidence; 
ÚwÚ and of othew ÚwÚ wooews. 
>_< FENTON. xDD Weww, faweweww; UwU I ^w^ am uWu in great ^.^ haste now. 
^-^ QUICKWY. UwU Faweweww to x3 youw UwU wowship. ;;w;; [Exit OwO FENTON] ^-^ Twuwy, 
>w< an xDD honyest gentleman; >_> but >_> Annye loves ^.^ him x3 nyot; fow UwU I ^.^ knyow 
Anne's ^-^ mind >_< as weww >_< as anyothew does. UwU Out ;;w;; upon :3 't, >_> what 
uWu have UwU I OwO fowgot? uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

^.^ Befowe >_> PAGE'S ;;w;; house 

Entew xDD MISTWESS PAGE, with :3 a >_> wettew 

:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. What! uWu have UwU I ÚwÚ scap'd love-letters uWu in x3 the uWu howiday-time 
of x3 my >w< beauty, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am UwU I nyow :3 a x3 subject fow them? Let 
;;w;; me ^-^ see. [Weads] 
>w< 'Ask ;;w;; me nyo reason >w< why UwU I wuv uWu you; fow ^w^ though Wuv use 
^w^ Weason fow :33 his x3 pwecisian, ^.^ he ^.^ admits ^.^ him nyot fow :33 his counsellor. 
>_> You OwO awe nyot >_> young, nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ am x3 I; OwO go ^.^ to, >w< then, there's 
:33 sympathy. >_> You OwO awe >_> mewwy, UwU so ^w^ am x3 I; :33 ha! :33 ha! xDD then there's 
^.^ mowe :33 sympathy. >_> You wuv sack, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU do x3 I; ^.^ wouwd xDD you 
^.^ desiwe xDD bettew sympathy? Let >w< it x3 suffice ÚwÚ thee, Mistress uWu Page 
uWu at x3 the least, >_> if x3 the wuv of soldier ^.^ can >_> suffice-that UwU I wuv 
thee. UwU I xDD wiww nyot say, x3 Pity ;;w;; me: UwU 'tis nyot :3 a uWu sowdiew-wike ÚwÚ phwase; 
>_> but UwU I say, Wuv x3 me. ^-^ By uWu me, 
OwO Thinye UwU own true UwU knyight, 
^-^ By day ow night, 
:33 Ow xDD any uWu kind of wight, 
With aww :33 his xDD might, 
For uWu thee to x3 fight, 
>_< JOHN :3 FAWSTAFF.' 
>_> What :3 a OwO Hewod of ^-^ Jewwy >_> is x3 this! x3 O wicked, wicked ;;w;; wowwd! 
x3 Onye :3 that >_> is ^w^ weww-nyigh wown to uWu pieces with age to x3 show 
>_< himsewf :3 a xDD young ^w^ gawwant! >_> What >w< an ^w^ unweighed >_> behaviouw 
hath ÚwÚ this Flemish drunkard ^w^ pick'd-with x3 the >_> deviw's xDD nyame! 
-out of x3 my UwU convewsation, :3 that ^.^ he x3 dawes uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ mannyew 
OwO assay me? Why, ^.^ he hath nyot :33 been thrice uWu in x3 my ;;w;; company! 
>_> What >_> shouwd UwU I >_> say to him? UwU I UwU was xDD then ÚwÚ fwugaw of x3 my mirth. 
uWu Heaven :33 fowgive me! Why, I'll exhibit :3 a >_> biww uWu in x3 the ;;w;; pawwiament 
fow x3 the ^.^ putting down of ^.^ men. How UwU shaww UwU I be 
^w^ weveng'd on him? fow ^w^ weveng'd UwU I xDD wiww be, >_< as >_< suwe >_< as :33 his :33 guts 
OwO awe UwU made of puddings. 

Entew xDD MISTWESS uWu FOWD 

:33 MWS. FORD. Mistress :33 Page! :33 twust uWu me, UwU I UwU was x3 going to x3 youw 
ÚwÚ house. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^.^ And, :33 twust uWu me, UwU I UwU was xDD coming to OwO you. >_> You wook 
xDD vewy ill. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Nyay, I'll ^w^ nye'ew ^-^ bewieve :33 that; UwU I uWu have to x3 show to 
x3 the ^.^ contwawy. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Faith, >_> but xDD you UwU do, uWu in x3 my :33 mind. 
:33 MWS. FORD. xDD Weww, UwU I UwU do, :33 then; ^w^ yet, UwU I say, UwU I couwd x3 show xDD you to 
x3 the ^.^ contwawy. x3 O Mistress >_> Page, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 some :3 counsew. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, x3 woman? 
:33 MWS. FORD. x3 O ^w^ woman, >_> if >w< it :3 wewe nyot fow one ^w^ twifwing wespect, 
UwU I couwd come to xDD such ^-^ honyouw! 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Hang x3 the :33 twifwe, >_< woman; OwO take x3 the honyouw. >_> What 
>_> is :33 it? x3 Dispense with trifles; >_> what >_> is :33 it? 
:33 MWS. FORD. ;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> but OwO go to heww fow >w< an xDD etewnyaw x3 moment 
ow >_> so, UwU I couwd be knyighted. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. What? ^.^ Thou liest. Sir x3 Awice ^w^ Fowd! ;;w;; These :3 knyights 
xDD wiww :33 hack; ÚwÚ and UwU so xDD thou shouwdst nyot x3 awtew x3 the uWu awticwe of >w< thy 
>_> gentwy. 
:33 MWS. FORD. We buwn daywight. Here, wead, ÚwÚ wead; >_> pewceive 
>w< how UwU I ^w^ might be knyighted. UwU I UwU shaww think x3 the xDD wowse of :33 fat 
;;w;; men >_< as ^-^ wong >_< as UwU I uWu have >w< an ^w^ eye to >_< make ^.^ diffewence of men's 
x3 wiking. xDD And yet ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot :33 sweaw; UwU pwais'd x3 women's 
OwO modesty, ÚwÚ and uWu gave xDD such ^w^ owdewwy ÚwÚ and :3 weww-behaved >_< wepwoof 
to aww uWu uncomewinyess :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have sworn :33 his uWu disposition 
^.^ wouwd uWu have >_> gonye to x3 the uWu twuth of :33 his words; >_> but ;;w;; they UwU do nyo 
^.^ mowe ÚwÚ adhewe ÚwÚ and >_< keep :33 pwace togethew than x3 the :33 Hundwedth 
Psalm to x3 the tune of 'Greensleeves.' >_> What ÚwÚ tempest, UwU I trow, 
OwO thwew ÚwÚ this :33 whawe, with UwU so UwU many UwU tuns of oiw uWu in :33 his bewwy, 
ashore uWu at ^-^ Windsow? How UwU shaww UwU I be wevenged on him? UwU I 
think x3 the best uWu way :3 wewe to entertain ^.^ him with hope, >w< tiww 
x3 the wicked fire of lust uWu have mewted ^.^ him uWu in :33 his UwU own ^w^ gwease. 
Did xDD you OwO evew hear x3 the ^.^ wike? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >_> Wettew fow letter, >_> but :3 that x3 the xDD nyame of uWu Page ÚwÚ and 
>_< Fowd ^w^ diffews. ;;w;; To >w< thy great uWu comfowt uWu in ÚwÚ this mystery of :33 iww 
opinions, hewe's x3 the :33 twin-bwothew of >w< thy wettew; >_> but wet ^.^ thinye 
x3 inhewit ÚwÚ fiwst, for, UwU I protest, >_< minye >_< nyevew >_< shaww. UwU I :33 wawwant ^.^ he 
hath :3 a thousand of these letters, ^-^ wwit with ;;w;; bwank xDD space fow 
different names-sure, more!-and these OwO awe of x3 the second 
edition. >w< He xDD wiww pwint ÚwÚ them, x3 out of doubt; fow ^.^ he ÚwÚ cawes nyot 
>_> what ^.^ he puts x3 into x3 the x3 pwess when ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd put >_> us UwU two. UwU I 
xDD had rather be :3 a xDD giantess ÚwÚ and >_< wie :33 undew ^-^ Mount >w< Pewion. xDD Weww, 
UwU I xDD wiww find xDD you ÚwÚ twenty OwO wascivious >_> tuwtwes ere one >w< chaste 
man. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the xDD vewy >w< same; x3 the xDD vewy uWu hand, x3 the 
xDD vewy ÚwÚ wowds. >_> What xDD doth ^.^ he think of us? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Nyay, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; >w< it x3 makes ;;w;; me almost ready to 
wrangle with >_< minye UwU own x3 honyesty. I'll entertain mysewf ^.^ wike 
one :3 that UwU I ^w^ am nyot >_> acquainted withal; for, x3 suwe, ^w^ unwess ^.^ he 
^.^ knyow x3 some ;;w;; stwain uWu in ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot myself, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd 
>_< nyevew uWu have boawded ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD fuwy. 
:33 MWS. FORD. ^-^ 'Boawding' caww xDD you :33 it? I'll be >_< suwe to >_< keep ^.^ him 
:33 abuv x3 deck. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^w^ So xDD wiww x3 I; >_> if ^.^ he come :33 undew x3 my :33 hatches, I'll >_< nyevew 
to sea ;;w;; again. :3 Wet's be ^w^ weveng'd on him; >_> wet's ÚwÚ appoint ^.^ him :3 a 
meeting, UwU give ^.^ him :3 a x3 show of uWu comfowt uWu in :33 his ^.^ suit, ÚwÚ and lead 
^.^ him on with :3 a UwU finye-baited delay, >w< tiww ^.^ he hath :3 pawn'd :33 his 
:3 howses to >_< minye host of x3 the uWu Gawtew. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Nyay, UwU I xDD wiww >_< consent to ;;w;; act xDD any xDD viwwainy OwO against 
^.^ him :3 that OwO may nyot uWu suwwy x3 the :3 chawinyess of UwU ouw x3 honyesty. x3 O 
:3 that x3 my :33 husband saw ÚwÚ this letter! ^.^ It ^.^ wouwd UwU give xDD etewnyaw OwO food 
to :33 his ÚwÚ jeawousy. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Why, wook :3 whewe ^.^ he ;;w;; comes; ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ good x3 man 
:3 too; uWu he's >_< as uWu faw from ^.^ jeawousy >_< as UwU I ^w^ am from ^.^ giving ^.^ him 
cause; ÚwÚ and :3 that, UwU I hope, >_> is >w< an unmeasurable ^-^ distance. 
:33 MWS. FORD. >_> You OwO awe x3 the uWu happiew uWu woman. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. :3 Wet's >_< consuwt togethew OwO against ÚwÚ this ^-^ gweasy knyight. 
:3 Come hithew. ^w^ [They >_> wetiwe] 

Entew uWu FOWD with x3 PISTOW, ÚwÚ and ^.^ PAGE with >w< Nym 

FORD. xDD Weww, UwU I UwU hope >w< it be nyot :3 so. 
PISTOL. ;;w;; Hope >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ cuwtaw dog uWu in x3 some x3 affaiws. 
Sir John >_< affects >w< thy x3 wife. 
FORD. Why, ^w^ siw, x3 my >w< wife >_> is nyot ^w^ young. 
PISTOL. >w< He OwO woos both xDD high ÚwÚ and low, both rich ÚwÚ and OwO poow, 
UwU Both xDD young ÚwÚ and :3 owd, one with another, Ford; 
>w< He loves x3 the gallimaufry. :33 Fowd, :33 pewpend. 
FORD. Wuv x3 my wife! 
PISTOL. With wivew ^.^ buwnying xDD hot. ^w^ Pwevent, ow OwO go UwU thou, 
Wike Sir >w< Actaeon xDD he, with >_> Wingwood uWu at >w< thy xDD heews. 
>_< O, uWu odious >_> is x3 the xDD nyame! 
FORD. >_> What :33 nyame, UwU siw? 
PISTOL. uWu The >_< hown, UwU I :3 say. uWu Faweweww. 
^.^ Take ^-^ heed, uWu have open >_< eye, fow thieves UwU do :33 foot ^.^ by ^w^ nyight; 
^.^ Take ^-^ heed, ere ^-^ summew ;;w;; comes, ow ;;w;; cuckoo xDD biwds UwU do ;;w;; sing. 
:33 Away, Sir ^w^ Cowpowaw >_< Nym. 
:3 Bewieve :33 it, ^-^ Page; ^.^ he xDD speaks ÚwÚ sense. uWu Exit PISTOW 
FORD. :3 [Aside] UwU I xDD wiww be UwU patient; UwU I xDD wiww find x3 out UwU this. 
OwO NYM. :33 [To xDD PAGE] xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is true; UwU I ^.^ wike nyot x3 the humouw of 
^.^ wying. >w< He hath ;;w;; wwonged ;;w;; me uWu in x3 some xDD humouws; UwU I >_> shouwd 
uWu have :3 bownye x3 the UwU humouw'd >_> wettew to >w< hew; >_> but UwU I uWu have :3 a uWu swowd, 
ÚwÚ and >w< it UwU shaww ^-^ bite ;;w;; upon x3 my ;;w;; nyecessity. >w< He loves x3 youw :33 wife; 
there's x3 the showt ÚwÚ and x3 the wong. 
OwO My xDD nyame >_> is ^w^ Cowpowaw Nym; UwU I :3 speak, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ avouch; 
'Tis true. OwO My xDD nyame >_> is ;;w;; Nym, ÚwÚ and Falstaff loves x3 youw x3 wife. 
ÚwÚ Adieu! UwU I wuv nyot x3 the humouw of ^.^ bwead ÚwÚ and >_< cheese; ÚwÚ and 
there's x3 the humouw of :3 it. uWu Adieu. uWu Exit >w< Nym 
xDD PAGE. 'The humouw of xDD it,' quoth 'a! >_> Hewe's :3 a fewwow ^-^ fwights 
:3 Engwish x3 out of :33 his wits. 
FORD. UwU I xDD wiww >_> seek x3 out >w< Fawstaff. 
xDD PAGE. UwU I >_< nyevew heard xDD such :3 a >_< dwawwing, ^.^ affecting wogue. 
FORD. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do find it-well. 
xDD PAGE. UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^-^ bewieve xDD such :3 a >w< Cataian ^w^ though x3 the priest ^.^ o' 
x3 th' :33 town :33 commended ^.^ him fow :3 a true man. 
FORD. >_< 'Twas :3 a ÚwÚ good ^-^ sensibwe UwU fewwow. ^-^ Weww. 

xDD MISTWESS ^.^ PAGE ÚwÚ and xDD MISTWESS uWu FOWD come forward 

xDD PAGE. How now, :33 Meg! 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. x3 Whithew OwO go UwU you, ÚwÚ Geowge? ^.^ Hawk OwO you. 
:33 MWS. FORD. How now, x3 sweet :33 Fwank, >w< why awt xDD thou >_> mewanchowy? 
FORD. UwU I mewanchowy! UwU I ^w^ am nyot :3 mewanchowy. >_< Get xDD you ÚwÚ home; 
ÚwÚ go. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Faith, xDD thou x3 hast x3 some ^-^ cwotchets uWu in >w< thy >_> head now. 
Will xDD you x3 go, Mistress Page? 

Entew xDD MISTWESS QUICKLY 

:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. :3 Have with OwO you. You'll come to xDD dinnyew, ÚwÚ Geowge? 
^-^ [Aside to :33 MWS. FORD] Wook who x3 comes ;;w;; yondew; ^.^ she UwU shaww 
be UwU ouw :3 messengew to ÚwÚ this paltry knyight. 
:33 MWS. FORD. ^-^ [Aside to :33 MWS. xDD PAGE] Twust uWu me, UwU I xDD thought on 
>w< hew; ^.^ she'ww ;;w;; fit :3 it. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >_> You OwO awe come to >_> see x3 my daughter Anne? 
^-^ QUICKWY. Ay, forsooth; x3 and, UwU I pray, >w< how does ÚwÚ good Mistress Anne? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Go uWu in with >_> us ÚwÚ and see; ^.^ we uWu have >w< an hour's tawk 
with OwO you. Exeunt xDD MISTWESS PAGE, xDD MISTWESS x3 FOWD, ÚwÚ and 
xDD MISTWESS QUICKLY 
xDD PAGE. How now, >_< Mastew ^w^ Fowd! 
FORD. >_> You heard >_> what ÚwÚ this x3 knyave told uWu me, uWu did xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
xDD PAGE. Yes; ÚwÚ and xDD you heard >_> what x3 the othew told me? 
FORD. Do xDD you think there >_> is uWu twuth uWu in them? 
xDD PAGE. Hang 'em, OwO swaves! UwU I UwU do nyot think x3 the knight ^.^ wouwd offer uWu it; 
>_> but these :3 that ;;w;; accuse ^.^ him uWu in :33 his :3 intent uWu towawds UwU ouw 
;;w;; wives OwO awe :3 a x3 yoke of :33 his ^.^ discawded ÚwÚ men; xDD vewy ;;w;; wogues, nyow 
;;w;; they be x3 out of service. 
FORD. ^.^ Wewe ;;w;; they :33 his men? 
xDD PAGE. OwO Mawwy, :3 wewe OwO they. 
FORD. UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it >_< nyevew x3 the xDD bettew fow x3 that. ÚwÚ Does ^.^ he >_< wie uWu at x3 the 
:33 Gawtew? 
xDD PAGE. Ay, marry, does he. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> shouwd intend ÚwÚ this ^w^ voyage 
toward x3 my :3 wife, UwU I ^.^ wouwd turn her ;;w;; woose to him; ÚwÚ and >_> what 
^.^ he :33 gets ^.^ mowe of her than ^-^ shawp wowds, wet >w< it >_< wie on x3 my >_> head. 
FORD. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ misdoubt x3 my :33 wife; >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd be loath to 
turn them together. ^-^ A x3 man OwO may be ^w^ too :33 confident. UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
uWu have >_< nyothing >_< wie on x3 my >_> head. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot be OwO thus xDD satisfied. 

Entew :33 HOST 

xDD PAGE. Wook :3 whewe x3 my ranting host of x3 the >w< Gawtew ^w^ comes. 
>_> Thewe >_> is xDD eithew liquor uWu in :33 his OwO pate ow monyey uWu in :33 his >_< puwse 
when ^.^ he :33 wooks UwU so merrily. How now, >_< minye >w< host! 
xDD HOST. How now, ^.^ buwwy wook! ^w^ Thou'wt :3 a :3 gentweman. :33 [To 
UwU SHAWWOW ^.^ fowwowing] Cavaleiro x3 Justice, UwU I :3 say. 

Entew UwU SHAWWOW 

x3 SHAWWOW. UwU I follow, >_< minye >_< host, UwU I x3 fowwow. ^-^ Good even ÚwÚ and 
twenty, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew :33 Page! >_< Mastew >_> Page, xDD wiww xDD you OwO go with 
us? We uWu have spowt uWu in >w< hand. 
xDD HOST. Teww :3 him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell :3 him, ^.^ buwwy wook. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU Siw, there >_> is :3 a >w< fway to be ÚwÚ fought ^-^ between Sir ^.^ Hugh 
x3 the x3 Wewsh priest ÚwÚ and :3 Caius x3 the OwO Fwench doctow. 
FORD. ^-^ Good >_< minye host ^.^ o' x3 th' ^-^ Gawtew, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
xDD HOST. >_> What say'st UwU thou, x3 my ^.^ buwwy rook? ^w^ [They OwO go aside] 
x3 SHAWWOW. :33 [To xDD PAGE] Will xDD you OwO go with >_> us to behowd :33 it? OwO My 
^.^ mewwy host hath xDD had x3 the measuring of uWu theiw uWu weapons; x3 and, 
UwU I >_< think, hath uWu appointed them :33 contwawy >_> pwaces; for, ^-^ bewieve 
uWu me, UwU I hear x3 the parson >_> is nyo ^w^ jestew. Hawk, UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you 
>_> what UwU ouw spowt UwU shaww >w< be. ^w^ [They convewse apart] 
xDD HOST. Hast xDD thou nyo >_> suit OwO against x3 my UwU knyight, x3 my >_> guest-cavaweiwo. 
FORD. ÚwÚ Nyonye, UwU I OwO pwotest; >_> but I'll UwU give xDD you :3 a pottle of burnt 
^-^ sack to UwU give ;;w;; me >_> wecouwse to :3 him, ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him x3 my xDD nyame >_> is 
OwO Bwook-onwy fow :3 a ;;w;; jest. 
xDD HOST. OwO My uWu hand, bully; xDD thou shalt uWu have ;;w;; egwess ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wegwess- 
uWu said UwU I >w< weww?-and >w< thy xDD nyame UwU shaww be Brook. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a ^.^ mewwy 
knyight. Will xDD you x3 go, ^w^ Mynheews? 
x3 SHAWWOW. :3 Have with UwU you, >_< minye >_< host. 
xDD PAGE. UwU I uWu have heard x3 the OwO Fwenchman hath ÚwÚ good :3 skiww uWu in :33 his 
wapiew. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Tut, ^w^ siw, UwU I couwd uWu have told xDD you more. ^w^ In these 
times xDD you stand on ÚwÚ distance, x3 youw ^-^ passes, xDD stoccadoes, ÚwÚ and 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot what. 'Tis x3 the uWu heawt, >_< Mastew ^-^ Page; UwU 'tis UwU hewe, 
UwU 'tis hewe. UwU I uWu have :3 seen x3 the time with x3 my ^-^ wong xDD swowd UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
uWu have UwU made xDD you fouw ;;w;; taww ^w^ fewwows UwU skip ^.^ wike wats. 
xDD HOST. Here, boys, UwU hewe, here! Shall ^.^ we >w< wag? 
xDD PAGE. :3 Have with OwO you. UwU I xDD had rather hear them scold than 
^w^ fight. Exeunt aww >_> but uWu FOWD 
FORD. ;;w;; Though uWu Page be :3 a ^.^ secuwe x3 foow, ÚwÚ and >w< stands UwU so x3 fiwmwy on 
:33 his ^w^ wife's fwaiwty, yet UwU I ;;w;; cannyot put x3 off x3 my opinyion UwU so 
easily. :33 She UwU was uWu in :33 his >_< company uWu at >_> Page's house, ÚwÚ and >_> what 
;;w;; they UwU made there UwU I ^.^ knyow not. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww wook further x3 into 
:3 't, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have :3 a xDD disguise to >_> sound >w< Fawstaff. ;;w;; If UwU I find her 
OwO honyest, UwU I wose nyot x3 my ^w^ wabouw; >_> if ^.^ she be :33 othewwise, UwU 'tis labour 
weww x3 bestowed. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the >w< Gawtew ^-^ Inn 

Entew FALSTAFF ÚwÚ and PISTOW 

>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I xDD wiww nyot xDD wend uWu thee :3 a penny. 
PISTOL. UwU I xDD wiww xDD wetowt x3 the >w< sum uWu in OwO equipage. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a penny. 
PISTOL. Why, xDD then x3 the OwO wowwd's >_< minye oyster. >_< Which UwU I with 
xDD swowd xDD wiww open. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a penny. UwU I uWu have :33 been UwU content, ^w^ siw, xDD you >_> shouwd 
uWu way x3 my >_< countenyance to ÚwÚ pawn. UwU I uWu have :3 gwated ;;w;; upon x3 my ÚwÚ good 
^w^ fwiends fow >w< thwee reprieves fow xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 youw coach-fellow, 
Nym; ow >_> ewse xDD you xDD had >_> wook'd ^w^ thwough x3 the xDD gwate, ^.^ wike :3 a 
geminy of :3 baboons. UwU I ^w^ am damn'd uWu in heww fow swearing to 
gentlemen x3 my ^w^ fwiends xDD you :3 wewe ÚwÚ good ^-^ sowdiews ÚwÚ and ;;w;; taww UwU fewwows; 
ÚwÚ and when Mistress :33 Bwidget wost x3 the handle of her ;;w;; fan, 
UwU I >_> took 't ;;w;; upon >_< minye honour xDD thou >w< hadst >w< it not. 
PISTOL. ;;w;; Didst nyot xDD thou :33 shawe? UwU Hadst xDD thou nyot >_< fifteen ÚwÚ pence? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Weason, xDD you :33 wogue, reason. x3 Think'st xDD thou I'll 
x3 endangew x3 my :3 souw gwatis? At :3 a word, ^w^ hang nyo ^.^ mowe about uWu me, 
UwU I ^w^ am nyo x3 gibbet fow OwO you. uWu Go-a showt knyife ÚwÚ and :3 a :3 thwong!- 
to x3 youw ^-^ manyow of OwO Pickt-hatch; ÚwÚ go. You'll nyot UwU beaw :3 a >_> wettew 
fow uWu me, xDD you UwU wogue! >_> You stand ;;w;; upon x3 youw ^-^ honyouw! Why, 
xDD thou OwO unconfinyabwe UwU basenyess, >w< it >_> is >_< as much >_< as UwU I ^.^ can UwU do to 
>_< keep x3 the terms of x3 my honour x3 pwecise. I, I, UwU I mysewf 
>_< sometimes, xDD weaving x3 the feaw of ^w^ God on x3 the left uWu hand, ÚwÚ and OwO hiding 
>_< minye honour uWu in x3 my necessity, ^w^ am >_> fain to shuffwe, to ÚwÚ hedge, 
ÚwÚ and to x3 wuwch; ÚwÚ and yet UwU you, :33 wogue, xDD wiww :33 ensconce x3 youw ^w^ wags, 
x3 youw :3 cat-a-mountain looks, x3 youw >_> wed-wattice xDD phwases, ÚwÚ and 
x3 youw bowd-beating oaths, :33 undew x3 the ÚwÚ shewtew of x3 youw ^-^ honyouw! 
>_> You xDD wiww nyot UwU do :33 it, you! 
PISTOL. UwU I UwU do relent; >_> what ^.^ wouwd xDD thou ^.^ mowe of man? 

Entew ROBIN 

ROBIN. UwU Siw, hewe's :3 a OwO woman ^.^ wouwd speak with OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Let her ;;w;; appwoach. 

Entew xDD MISTWESS QUICKLY 

^-^ QUICKWY. Give x3 youw :33 wowship ÚwÚ good :3 mowwow. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Good morrow, ÚwÚ good x3 wife. 
^-^ QUICKWY. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, UwU an't uWu pwease x3 youw UwU wowship. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Good ;;w;; maid, UwU then. 
^-^ QUICKWY. I'll be ^-^ swown; 
;;w;; As x3 my mothew UwU was, x3 the xDD fiwst >_> houw UwU I UwU was born. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve x3 the ^w^ sweawew. >_> What with me? 
^-^ QUICKWY. Shall UwU I x3 vouchsafe x3 youw :33 wowship :3 a ;;w;; wowd ow ÚwÚ two? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Two ;;w;; thousand, >w< faiw >_< woman; ÚwÚ and I'll x3 vouchsafe 
uWu thee x3 the ;;w;; heawing. 
^-^ QUICKWY. >_> Thewe >_> is one Mistress :33 Fowd, ^-^ siw-I pray, come :3 a xDD wittwe 
nyeawew ÚwÚ this uWu ways. UwU I mysewf dwell with >_< Mastew uWu Doctow 
^w^ Caius. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD Weww, on: Mistress :33 Fowd, xDD you UwU say- 
^-^ QUICKWY. uWu Youw :33 wowship ;;w;; says xDD vewy true. UwU I pray x3 youw :33 wowship 
come :3 a xDD wittwe nyeawew ÚwÚ this uWu ways. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I :33 wawwant uWu thee >w< nyobody :3 heaws-minye UwU own >_> peopwe, 
>_< minye UwU own ^-^ peopwe. 
^-^ QUICKWY. ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they so? ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and >_< make them :33 his 
:33 sewvants! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Weww; Mistress :33 Fowd, >_> what of OwO hew? 
^-^ QUICKWY. Why, ^w^ siw, ^w^ she's :3 a ÚwÚ good xDD cweatuwe. Wowd, Wowd, x3 youw 
^w^ wowship's :3 a wanton! xDD Weww, heaven :33 fowgive UwU you, ÚwÚ and aww of 
us, UwU I pway. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford- 
^-^ QUICKWY. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the showt ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ wong of >w< it: xDD you 
uWu have ^.^ bwought her x3 into xDD such :3 a ;;w;; canyawies >_< as UwU 'tis wondewfuw. 
uWu The best couwtiew of them all, when x3 the court uWu way uWu at ^w^ Windsow, 
couwd >_< nyevew uWu have ^.^ bwought her to xDD such :3 a uWu canyawy. ÚwÚ Yet 
there >_> has :33 been knights, ÚwÚ and wowds, ÚwÚ and xDD gentwemen, with 
uWu theiw ^-^ coaches; UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, :33 coach ÚwÚ aftew x3 coach, >_> wettew ÚwÚ aftew 
letter, ^w^ gift ÚwÚ aftew uWu gift; smewwing UwU so sweetwy, aww ^-^ musk, ÚwÚ and UwU so 
OwO wushwing, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, uWu in OwO siwk ÚwÚ and x3 gowd; ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD such ^-^ awwigant 
:33 tewms; ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD such winye ÚwÚ and ^-^ sugaw of x3 the best ÚwÚ and x3 the 
uWu faiwest, :3 that ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ won xDD any xDD woman's heawt; ÚwÚ and UwU I 
:33 wawwant UwU you, ;;w;; they couwd >_< nyevew get >w< an OwO eye-wink of her. 
UwU I xDD had mysewf ÚwÚ twenty ^-^ angews UwU given ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this morning; >_> but UwU I 
^.^ defy aww angews, uWu in xDD any xDD such sort, >_< as ;;w;; they say, >_> but uWu in x3 the 
uWu way of honyesty; x3 and, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, ;;w;; they couwd >_< nyevew get 
her UwU so much >_< as >_< sip on :3 a >w< cup with x3 the OwO pwoudest of them aww; 
ÚwÚ and yet there >_> has :33 been eawws, x3 nyay, which >_> is >_> mowe, 
^.^ pensionyews; but, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, aww >_> is one with her. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO But >_> what ;;w;; says ^.^ she to me? ^w^ Be ^-^ bwief, x3 my ÚwÚ good she- 
;;w;; Mewcuwy. 
^-^ QUICKWY. OwO Mawwy, ^.^ she hath weceiv'd x3 youw wettew; fow x3 the 
which ^.^ she thanks xDD you :3 a thousand x3 times; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ;;w;; gives xDD you 
to ÚwÚ nyotify :3 that her :33 husband xDD wiww be >w< absence from :33 his ;;w;; house 
^-^ between ;;w;; ten ÚwÚ and eweven. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu Ten ÚwÚ and uWu eweven? 
^-^ QUICKWY. Ay, forsooth; ÚwÚ and xDD then xDD you OwO may come ÚwÚ and >_> see 
x3 the >_< pictuwe, ^.^ she says, :3 that xDD you uWu wot uWu of. >_< Mastew :33 Fowd, her 
^.^ husband, xDD wiww be from >_> home. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 the x3 sweet OwO woman weads 
>w< an :33 iww >w< wife with x3 him! He's :3 a xDD vewy ^.^ jeawousy xDD man; ^.^ she weads :3 a 
xDD vewy :3 fwampowd >w< wife with :3 him, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; heawt. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu Ten ÚwÚ and eweven. Woman, ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to >w< hew; UwU I 
xDD wiww nyot fail her. 
^-^ QUICKWY. Why, xDD you >_> say well. OwO But UwU I uWu have anyothew :3 messengew 
to x3 youw UwU wowship. Mistress uWu Page hath her x3 heawty commendations 
to xDD you :3 too; ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me tell xDD you uWu in x3 youw eaw, ^w^ she's >_< as 
fawtuous :3 a ÚwÚ civiw :3 modest :3 wife, ÚwÚ and one, UwU I tell UwU you, :3 that xDD wiww 
nyot ;;w;; miss xDD you mownying nor x3 evenying prayer, >_< as xDD any >_> is uWu in 
^w^ Windsow, ÚwÚ whoe'ew be x3 the >w< othew; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me tell x3 youw 
:33 wowship :3 that her :33 husband >_> is seldom from ^.^ home, >_> but ^.^ she 
hopes there xDD wiww come :3 a uWu time. UwU I >_< nyevew UwU knyew :3 a OwO woman UwU so 
>_> dote ;;w;; upon :3 a ^w^ man: x3 suwewy UwU I think xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ chawms, :33 wa! Yes, 
uWu in truth. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ÚwÚ Nyot I, UwU I :33 assuwe ÚwÚ thee; >w< setting x3 the UwU attwaction of x3 my 
ÚwÚ good parts ÚwÚ aside, UwU I uWu have nyo othew :3 chawms. 
^-^ QUICKWY. Blessing on x3 youw >_< heawt fow ÚwÚ 't! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. But, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, tell ;;w;; me :33 this: >_> has Ford's >w< wife ÚwÚ and 
>_> Page's >w< wife >_> acquainted >_< each othew >w< how ;;w;; they wuv me? 
^-^ QUICKWY. :33 That :3 wewe :3 a xDD jest ^w^ indeed! ^-^ They uWu have nyot UwU so xDD wittwe 
gwace, UwU I >_< hope-that :3 wewe :3 a twick ^w^ indeed! OwO But Mistress uWu Page 
^.^ wouwd ^.^ desiwe xDD you to >_> send her x3 youw xDD wittwe page of aww :3 wuvs. 
:3 Hew :33 husband >_> has :3 a marvellous :3 infection to x3 the xDD wittwe ^-^ page; 
ÚwÚ and :33 twuwy >_< Mastew uWu Page >_> is >w< an xDD honyest man. xDD Nyevew :3 a >w< wife uWu in 
^-^ Windsow weads :3 a xDD bettew >w< wife than ^.^ she :3 does; UwU do >_> what ^.^ she :33 wiww, 
>_> say >_> what ^.^ she :33 wiww, OwO take all, x3 pay all, OwO go to x3 bed when ^.^ she 
wist, rise when ^.^ she wist, aww >_> is >_< as ^.^ she :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and :33 twuwy ^.^ she 
>_> desewves uWu it; fow >_> if there be :3 a uWu kind OwO woman uWu in ^w^ Windsow, ^.^ she 
>_> is onye. >_> You ^w^ must >_> send her x3 youw ^-^ page; nyo UwU wemedy. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Why, UwU I :33 wiww. 
^-^ QUICKWY. Nyay, >_> but UwU do UwU so :33 then; x3 and, wook UwU you, ^.^ he OwO may come 
ÚwÚ and OwO go ^-^ between xDD you both; ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD any case uWu have :3 a 
nyay-wowd, :3 that xDD you OwO may ^.^ knyow one another's UwU mind, ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; boy 
>_< nyevew >_< nyeed to understand xDD any >_> thing; fow UwU 'tis nyot ÚwÚ good :3 that 
x3 chiwdwen >_> shouwd ^.^ knyow xDD any ^w^ wickednyess. ^-^ Owd >_< fowks, xDD you 
knyow, uWu have discretion, >_< as ;;w;; they say, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow x3 the wowwd. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >w< Fawe uWu thee well; ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to them xDD both. 
>_> Thewe's x3 my purse; UwU I ^w^ am yet >w< thy ÚwÚ debtow. :33 Boy, OwO go :3 awong with 
ÚwÚ this uWu woman. UwU [Exeunt QUICKLY ÚwÚ and >_> WOBIN] This nyews 
UwU distwacts x3 me. 
PISTOL. :3 [Aside] This :3 punk >_> is one of uWu Cupid's carriers; 
Clap on ^.^ mowe ^w^ saiws; puwsue; x3 up with x3 youw fights; 
Give x3 fiwe; ^.^ she >_> is x3 my :33 pwize, ow xDD ocean whelm them :33 aww! uWu Exit 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Say'st xDD thou >_> so, ;;w;; owd Jack; OwO go >w< thy x3 ways; I'll >_< make 
^.^ mowe of >w< thy ;;w;; owd >w< body than UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. Will ;;w;; they yet wook 
ÚwÚ aftew thee? ;;w;; Wiwt UwU thou, ÚwÚ aftew x3 the expense of UwU so much monyey, 
be nyow :3 a gainer? ^-^ Good ;;w;; body, UwU I >_> thank thee. Let them >_> say 
UwU 'tis grossly donye; UwU so >w< it be ^.^ faiwwy :33 donye, nyo :3 mattew. 

Entew ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

BARDOLPH. Sir John, there's one >_< Mastew Brook bewow ^.^ wouwd 
>_> fain speak with UwU you, ÚwÚ and be >_> acquainted with uWu you; ÚwÚ and hath 
sent x3 youw :33 wowship :3 a ;;w;; moming's ^w^ dwaught of :33 sack. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Brook >_> is :33 his :3 nyame? 
BARDOLPH. Ay, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; Caww ^.^ him ^.^ in. ;;w;; [Exit ÚwÚ BAWDOWPH] >w< Such Bwooks OwO awe 
wewcome to uWu me, :3 that ^.^ o'ewfwows xDD such ^.^ wiquow. xDD Ah, :33 ha! Mistress 
>_< Fowd ÚwÚ and Mistress >_> Page, uWu have UwU I ^w^ encompass'd you? Go >w< to; 
ÚwÚ via! 

^.^ We-entew uWu BAWDOWPH, with uWu FOWD disguised 

FORD. :3 Bwess UwU you, sir! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD And UwU you, sir! Wouwd xDD you speak with me? 
FORD. UwU I >_< make bold to x3 pwess with UwU so xDD wittwe uWu pwepawation ;;w;; upon 
OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu You'we x3 wewcome. x3 What's x3 youw xDD wiww? Give >_> us weave, 
UwU dwawew. uWu Exit ^.^ BAWDOWPH 
FORD. UwU Siw, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that uWu have xDD spent >_> much; x3 my xDD nyame 
>_> is Brook. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, UwU I ^.^ desiwe ^.^ mowe >_< acquaintance 
of OwO you. 
FORD. ^-^ Good Sir John, UwU I sue fow yours-not to :3 chawge uWu you; fow UwU I 
^w^ must wet xDD you understand UwU I think mysewf uWu in xDD bettew plight fow 
:3 a ^w^ wendew than xDD you >_< awe; x3 the which hath ^-^ something 
xDD embowd'nyed ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ this UwU unseason'd intwusion; fow ;;w;; they say, >_> if 
monyey OwO go x3 befowe, aww ways UwU do >_< wie open. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Money >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good sowdiew, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww :3 on. 
FORD. Troth, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have :3 a ^-^ bag of monyey OwO hewe troubles OwO me; >_> if 
xDD you xDD wiww OwO hewp to UwU beaw :33 it, Sir John, OwO take all, ow xDD hawf, fow >w< easing 
;;w;; me of x3 the *twerks* cawwiage. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU Siw, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how UwU I OwO may OwO desewve to be x3 youw 
;;w;; powtew. 
FORD. UwU I xDD wiww tell UwU you, ^w^ siw, >_> if xDD you xDD wiww UwU give ;;w;; me x3 the ;;w;; heawing. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ÚwÚ Speak, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew Bwook; UwU I UwU shaww be uWu gwad to be 
x3 youw servant. 
FORD. UwU Siw, UwU I hear xDD you OwO awe :3 a scholar-I xDD wiww be bwief with xDD you 
uWu -and xDD you uWu have :33 been :3 a x3 man ^-^ wong ÚwÚ knyown to uWu me, ^w^ though UwU I 
xDD had >_< nyevew UwU so ÚwÚ good means >_< as ^.^ desiwe to >_< make mysewf >_> acquainted 
with OwO you. UwU I UwU shaww OwO discuvw :3 a ^.^ thing to UwU you, wherein 
UwU I ^w^ must xDD vewy much uWu way open >_< minye UwU own impewfection; but, 
ÚwÚ good Sir John, >_< as xDD you uWu have one ^w^ eye ;;w;; upon x3 my ^w^ fowwies, >_< as xDD you 
hear them unfowded, turn anyothew x3 into x3 the UwU wegistew of x3 youw 
OwO own, :3 that UwU I OwO may pass with :3 a >_< wepwoof x3 the x3 easiew, sith xDD you 
>_> youwsewf ^.^ knyow >w< how ^w^ easy >_> is >w< it to be xDD such >w< an ^-^ offendew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Very weww, siw; ^-^ pwoceed. 
FORD. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a :33 gentwewoman uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD town, her husband's 
xDD nyame >_> is x3 Fowd. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD Weww, sir. 
FORD. UwU I uWu have ^-^ wong :3 wov'd hew, x3 and, UwU I ^w^ pwotest to UwU you, uWu bestowed 
much on >w< hew; fowwowed her with :3 a >_< doting ;;w;; obsewvance; 
engwoss'd oppowtunyities to :3 meet >w< hew; x3 fee'd every :3 swight ;;w;; occasion 
:3 that couwd >_> but >w< nyiggawdwy UwU give ;;w;; me ^.^ sight of >w< hew; nyot 
>w< onwy xDD bought UwU many presents to UwU give hew, >_> but uWu have UwU given 
ÚwÚ wawgewy to UwU many to ^.^ knyow >_> what ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; given; 
bwiefwy, UwU I uWu have >_< puwsu'd her >_< as wuv hath xDD puwsued OwO me; which 
hath :33 been on x3 the OwO wing of aww >w< occasions. OwO But ^-^ whatsoevew UwU I 
uWu have mewited, xDD eithew uWu in x3 my ^-^ mind ow uWu in x3 my >_< means, ÚwÚ meed, UwU I 
^w^ am x3 suwe, UwU I uWu have uWu weceived nyonye, ^w^ unwess UwU expewience be :3 a jewel; 
:3 that UwU I uWu have puwchased uWu at >w< an :3 infinyite rate, ÚwÚ and :3 that hath 
ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me to >_> say :33 this: 
'Love ^.^ wike :3 a :3 shadow fwies when ÚwÚ substance wuv pursues; 
;;w;; Puwsuing :3 that :3 that flies, ÚwÚ and uWu fwying >_> what pursues.' 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Have xDD you weceiv'd nyo promise of >_< satisfaction uWu at 
her hands? 
FORD. UwU Nyevew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Have xDD you xDD impowtun'd her to xDD such :3 a purpose? 
FORD. UwU Nyevew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Of >_> what ;;w;; quawity UwU was x3 youw xDD wuv, ^w^ then? 
FORD. Wike :3 a >w< faiw ;;w;; house buiwt on anyothew :33 man's ^.^ gwound; UwU so 
:3 that UwU I uWu have wost x3 my >_> edifice ^.^ by ;;w;; mistaking x3 the :33 pwace :3 whewe 
>_> ewected :3 it. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; To >_> what OwO puwpose uWu have xDD you UwU unfowded ÚwÚ this to me? 
FORD. x3 When UwU I uWu have told xDD you :3 that, UwU I uWu have told xDD you all. ;;w;; Some 
>_> say :3 that ^w^ though ^.^ she appeaw xDD honyest to uWu me, yet uWu in othew 
pwaces ^.^ she OwO enwawgeth her >_< miwth UwU so uWu faw :3 that there >_> is shrewd 
construction UwU made of her. >_> Nyow, Sir John, OwO hewe >_> is x3 the >_< heawt 
of x3 my >w< puwpose: xDD you OwO awe :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of :3 excewwent 
uWu bweeding, uWu admiwabwe discouwse, of great ^w^ admittance, OwO authentic uWu in 
x3 youw :33 pwace ÚwÚ and pewson, ÚwÚ genyewawwy UwU awwow'd fow x3 youw UwU many 
x3 waw-wike, ^w^ couwtwike, ÚwÚ and :33 weawnyed >_> pwepawations. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< O, sir! 
FORD. :3 Bewieve :33 it, fow xDD you ^.^ knyow :3 it. >_> Thewe >_> is ;;w;; monyey; spend :33 it, 
spend uWu it; spend mowe; spend aww UwU I uWu have; >w< onwy UwU give ;;w;; me UwU so 
much of x3 youw time uWu in :3 exchange of >w< it >_< as to uWu way >w< an :3 amiabwe 
^-^ siege to x3 the honesty of ÚwÚ this Ford's :33 wife; use x3 youw awt of 
^.^ wooing, x3 win her to >_< consent to uWu you; >_> if xDD any x3 man may, xDD you 
OwO may >_< as >w< soon >_< as ÚwÚ any. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Wouwd >w< it apply weww to x3 the vehemency of x3 youw 
:33 affection, :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd x3 win >_> what xDD you ^.^ wouwd :3 enjoy? 
Methinks xDD you prescribe to >_> youwsewf xDD vewy preposterously. 
FORD. >_< O, understand x3 my ^.^ dwift. :33 She dwells UwU so secuwewy on x3 the 
ÚwÚ excewwency of her honour :3 that x3 the >w< fowwy of x3 my :3 souw x3 dawes 
nyot xDD pwesent >_< itsewf; ^.^ she >_> is ^w^ too uWu bwight to be >_> wook'd x3 against. 
>_> Nyow, couwd UwU I come to her with xDD any >w< detection uWu in x3 my uWu hand, 
x3 my desiwes xDD had uWu instance ÚwÚ and :33 awgument to ÚwÚ commend themselves; 
UwU I couwd UwU dwive her xDD then from x3 the ward of her puwity, 
her weputation, her ^.^ mawwiage ^w^ vow, ÚwÚ and :3 a thousand othew her 
defences, which nyow OwO awe ^w^ too ^w^ too >_< stwongwy >_> embattw'd OwO against 
x3 me. >_> What >_> say xDD you >_> to't, Sir ^w^ John? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, UwU I xDD wiww xDD fiwst >_< make bold with x3 youw 
;;w;; monyey; next, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw xDD hand; ÚwÚ and last, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a gentweman, 
xDD you UwU shaww, >_> if xDD you :33 wiww, ^.^ enjoy Ford's x3 wife. 
FORD. x3 O ÚwÚ good sir! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I >_> say xDD you >_< shaww. 
FORD. OwO Want nyo monyey, Sir John; xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ want none. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO Want nyo Mistress :33 Fowd, >_< Mastew Bwook; xDD you UwU shaww 
^.^ want none. UwU I UwU shaww be with hew, UwU I OwO may tell UwU you, ^.^ by her UwU own 
UwU appointment; even >_< as xDD you ^-^ came uWu in to ;;w;; me her >w< assistant, ow 
xDD go-between, pawted from OwO me; UwU I >_> say UwU I UwU shaww be with her ^-^ between 
;;w;; ten ÚwÚ and :3 eweven; fow uWu at :3 that time x3 the jealous rascally 
^-^ knyave, her ^.^ husband, xDD wiww be forth. :3 Come xDD you to ;;w;; me uWu at 
^w^ nyight; xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ knyow >w< how UwU I ;;w;; speed. 
FORD. UwU I ^w^ am bwest uWu in x3 youw ÚwÚ acquaintance. Do xDD you ^.^ knyow :33 Fowd, 
Sir? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Hang :3 him, poor :3 cuckowdwy uWu knyave! UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him 
x3 nyot; yet UwU I wrong ^.^ him to caww ^.^ him poor; ;;w;; they >_> say x3 the 
jealous ;;w;; wittowwy x3 knyave hath :33 masses of ;;w;; monyey; fow x3 the which 
:33 his >w< wife ;;w;; seems to ;;w;; me x3 weww-favouw'd. UwU I xDD wiww use her >_< as x3 the 
OwO key of x3 the :3 cuckowdwy wogue's :3 coffew; ÚwÚ and there's x3 my hawvest-home. 
FORD. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you UwU knyew :33 Fowd, ^w^ siw, :3 that xDD you ^w^ might avoid ^.^ him 
>_> if xDD you saw ^.^ him. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Hang :3 him, mechanyicaw salt-butter UwU wogue! UwU I xDD wiww 
stare ^.^ him x3 out of :33 his >_> wits; UwU I xDD wiww OwO awe ^.^ him with x3 my ;;w;; cudgew; 
>w< it UwU shaww ^w^ hang ^.^ wike :3 a meteor ^-^ o'ew x3 the cuckowd's ^.^ howns. >_< Mastew 
:3 Bwook, xDD thou shalt ^.^ knyow UwU I xDD wiww predominate uvw x3 the 
peasant, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt >_< wie with :33 his x3 wife. :3 Come to ;;w;; me >w< soon uWu at 
OwO nyight. Ford's :3 a ^-^ knyave, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww aggravate :33 his ^-^ stywe; UwU thou, 
>_< Mastew :3 Bwook, shalt ^.^ knyow ^.^ him fow x3 knyave ÚwÚ and OwO cuckowd. 
:3 Come to ;;w;; me >w< soon uWu at OwO nyight. uWu Exit 
FORD. >_> What :3 a damn'd Epicuwean wascaw >_> is x3 this! OwO My >_< heawt >_> is 
ready to UwU cwack with :3 impatience. Who ;;w;; says ÚwÚ this >_> is ^-^ impwovident 
^.^ jeawousy? OwO My >w< wife hath sent to him; x3 the >_> houw >_> is ;;w;; fix'd; 
x3 the >_< match >_> is >_> made. Wouwd xDD any x3 man uWu have xDD thought :3 this? xDD See 
x3 the heww of xDD having :3 a UwU fawse OwO woman! OwO My x3 bed UwU shaww be ÚwÚ abus'd, 
x3 my >_< coffews ÚwÚ wansack'd, x3 my >_< weputation x3 gnyawn OwO at; ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU shaww 
nyot >w< onwy receive ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ viwwainyous wwong, >_> but stand :33 undew x3 the 
ÚwÚ adoption of UwU abominyabwe ^w^ tewms, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ^.^ him :3 that does ;;w;; me 
ÚwÚ this wrong. >_> Tewms! names! Amaimon sounds well; ÚwÚ Wucifew, 
well; Barbason, well; yet ;;w;; they OwO awe devils' additions, x3 the nyames 
of :33 fiends. OwO But ;;w;; cuckowd! UwU Wittow! OwO Cuckowd! x3 the ^.^ deviw >_< himsewf 
hath nyot xDD such :3 a nyame. uWu Page >_> is >w< an ass, :3 a ^.^ secuwe x3 ass; ^.^ he xDD wiww :33 twust 
:33 his :33 wife; ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot be jeawous; UwU I xDD wiww rather :33 twust :3 a Fleming 
with x3 my ^-^ buttew, Pawson ^.^ Hugh x3 the Wewshman with x3 my 
ÚwÚ cheese, >w< an x3 Iwishman with x3 my xDD aqua-vitae >_> bottwe, ow :3 a UwU thief to 
UwU wawk x3 my OwO ambwing gewding, than x3 my >w< wife with hewsewf. UwU Then 
^.^ she OwO pwots, xDD then ^.^ she :3 wuminyates, xDD then ^.^ she devises; ÚwÚ and >_> what 
;;w;; they think uWu in uWu theiw heawts ;;w;; they OwO may xDD effect, ;;w;; they xDD wiww bweak 
uWu theiw heawts >_> but ;;w;; they xDD wiww x3 effect. ^w^ God be UwU pwais'd fow x3 my 
jeawousy! Eweven UwU o'cwock x3 the hour. UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ pwevent uWu this, detect 
x3 my :3 wife, be ^w^ weveng'd on :33 Fawstaff, ÚwÚ and laugh uWu at ^.^ Page. 
UwU I xDD wiww about uWu it; xDD bettew >w< thwee >_> houws ^w^ too >w< soon than :3 a minyute 
^w^ too UwU wate. OwO Fie, >_< fie, fie! ;;w;; cuckowd! ;;w;; cuckowd! ;;w;; cuckowd! uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

^-^ A field nyeaw ^-^ Windsow 

Entew >_> CAIUS ÚwÚ and WUGBY 

xDD CAIUS. x3 Jack >_> Wugby! 
RUGBY. Sir? 
xDD CAIUS. >_> Vat >_> is UwU de clock, UwU Jack? 
RUGBY. 'Tis x3 past x3 the ^-^ houw, ^w^ siw, :3 that Sir ^.^ Hugh pwomis'd to 
^.^ meet. 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, ^.^ he >_> has :3 save :33 his :3 souw ^.^ dat ^.^ he >_> is nyo >_< come; ^.^ he >_> has 
pray :33 his :3 Pibwe weww ^.^ dat ^.^ he >_> is nyo >_< come; ^.^ by ;;w;; gaw, x3 Jack x3 Wugby, 
^.^ he >_> is >_< dead already, >_> if ^.^ he be x3 come. 
RUGBY. >w< He >_> is >_< wise, siw; ^.^ he UwU knyew x3 youw :33 wowship ^.^ wouwd OwO kiww 
^.^ him >_> if ^.^ he >_< came. 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, UwU de ÚwÚ hewwing >_> is nyo >_< dead UwU so >_< as UwU I viww OwO kiww ^.^ him. ^.^ Take 
x3 youw wapiew, Jack; UwU I viww tell xDD you >w< how UwU I viww OwO kiww ^.^ him. 
RUGBY. ÚwÚ Awas, ^w^ siw, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU fence! 
xDD CAIUS. Viwwainy, OwO take x3 youw wapiew. 
RUGBY. ^w^ Fowbeaw; hewe's UwU company. 

Entew x3 HOST, ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ^.^ SWENDEW, ÚwÚ and ^.^ PAGE 

xDD HOST. :3 Bwess ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ buwwy uWu doctow! 
x3 SHAWWOW. :3 Save UwU you, >_< Mastew uWu Doctow ^.^ Caius! 
xDD PAGE. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew >_> Doctow! 
x3 SWENDEW. Give xDD you ÚwÚ good morrow, sir. 
xDD CAIUS. >_> Vat be aww UwU you, one, >_> two, tree, >w< fouw, come for? 
xDD HOST. ;;w;; To >_> see uWu thee x3 fight, to >_> see uWu thee ;;w;; foin, to >_> see uWu thee :3 twavewse; 
to >_> see uWu thee UwU hewe, to >_> see uWu thee uWu thewe; to >_> see uWu thee pass >w< thy 
^-^ punto, >w< thy xDD stock, >w< thy wevewse, >w< thy ÚwÚ distance, >w< thy ÚwÚ montant. 
Is ^.^ he >_< dead, x3 my :3 Ethiopian? Is ^.^ he >_< dead, x3 my ÚwÚ Fwancisco? >w< Ha, 
^w^ buwwy! >_> What ;;w;; says x3 my Aesculapius? x3 my ;;w;; Gawen? x3 my >_< heawt 
of ewdew? uWu Ha! >_> is ^.^ he >_< dead, ^.^ buwwy stale? Is ^.^ he dead? 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, ^.^ he >_> is UwU de x3 cowawd x3 Jack priest of UwU de wowwd; ^.^ he >_> is 
nyot x3 show :33 his ;;w;; face. 
xDD HOST. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a ^w^ Castawion-King-Uwinyaw. >_> Hectow of xDD Gweece, 
x3 my ^.^ boy! 
xDD CAIUS. UwU I pray UwU you, UwU beaw >_> witnyess :3 that ;;w;; me uWu have xDD stay six ow 
>w< seven, >w< two twee >_> houws fow :3 him, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is nyo x3 come. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< He >_> is x3 the wiser ^w^ man, >_< Mastew Doctow: ^.^ he >_> is :3 a cuwew 
of souws, ÚwÚ and xDD you :3 a cuwew of ^w^ bodies; >_> if xDD you >_> shouwd x3 fight, 
xDD you OwO go OwO against x3 the >_< haiw of x3 youw ;;w;; pwofessions. Is >w< it nyot ^-^ twue, 
>_< Mastew Page? 
xDD PAGE. >_< Mastew Shallow, xDD you uWu have >_> youwsewf :33 been :3 a great ;;w;; fightew, 
^w^ though nyow :3 a x3 man of peace. 
x3 SHAWWOW. OwO Bodykins, >_< Mastew >_> Page, ^w^ though UwU I nyow be :3 owd, ÚwÚ and 
of x3 the ÚwÚ peace, >_> if UwU I >_> see :3 a xDD swowd ^.^ out, x3 my finger ^w^ itches to >_< make 
onye. ;;w;; Though ^.^ we OwO awe uWu justices, ÚwÚ and >_> doctows, ÚwÚ and churchmen, 
>_< Mastew >_> Page, ^.^ we uWu have x3 some ^-^ sawt of UwU ouw :33 youth uWu in us; ^.^ we OwO awe 
x3 the xDD sons of UwU women, >_< Mastew ^.^ Page. 
xDD PAGE. 'Tis ^-^ twue, >_< Mastew :3 Shawwow. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ It xDD wiww be >_> found >_> so, >_< Mastew ^.^ Page. >_< Mastew uWu Doctow 
;;w;; CAIUS, UwU I come to :3 fetch xDD you >_> home. UwU I ^w^ am sworn of x3 the :3 peace; 
xDD you uWu have ^w^ show'd >_> youwsewf :3 a uWu wise >_> physician, ÚwÚ and Sir ^.^ Hugh 
hath OwO shown >_< himsewf :3 a uWu wise ÚwÚ and patient churchman. >_> You 
^w^ must OwO go with uWu me, >_< Mastew xDD Doctow. 
xDD HOST. Pawdon, Guest x3 Justice. ^-^ A word, Mounseuw ^-^ Mockwatew. 
xDD CAIUS. Mock-vatew! >_> Vat >_> is >_> dat? 
xDD HOST. >w< Mockwatew, uWu in UwU ouw :3 Engwish ;;w;; tongue, >_> is uWu vawouw, bully. 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, xDD then UwU I uWu have >_< as much mockvater >_< as UwU de xDD Engwishman. 
:3 Scuwvy jack-dog :3 pwiest! ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, ;;w;; me viww :3 cut :33 his ears. 
xDD HOST. >w< He xDD wiww :33 cwappew-cwaw uWu thee >w< tightwy, bully. 
xDD CAIUS. xDD Cwappew-de-cwaw! >_> Vat >_> is >_> dat? 
xDD HOST. :33 That ;;w;; is, ^.^ he xDD wiww >_< make uWu thee >_> amends. 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, ;;w;; me UwU do wook ^.^ he UwU shaww clapper-de-claw OwO me; for, 
^.^ by ;;w;; gaw, ;;w;; me viww uWu have :3 it. 
xDD HOST. xDD And UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; pwovoke ^.^ him >_> to't, ow wet ^.^ him xDD wag. 
xDD CAIUS. x3 Me ^.^ tank xDD you fow ^-^ dat. 
xDD HOST. ^.^ And, ^w^ moweuvw, ^.^ buwwy-but first: ^-^ [Aside to x3 the ;;w;; othews] 
>_< Mastew >_> Guest, ÚwÚ and >_< Mastew >_> Page, ÚwÚ and eke Cavaleiro Slender, 
OwO go xDD you ^w^ thwough x3 the :33 town to Fwogmowe. 
xDD PAGE. :3 [Aside] Sir ^.^ Hugh >_> is thewe, >_> is uWu he? 
xDD HOST. :3 [Aside] >w< He >_> is :33 thewe. xDD See >_> what humouw ^.^ he >_> is UwU in; ÚwÚ and 
UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing x3 the x3 doctow about ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ fiewds. Will >w< it UwU do ^.^ weww? 
x3 SHAWWOW. :3 [Aside] We xDD wiww UwU do :3 it. 
PAGE, ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ÚwÚ and x3 SWENDEW. :3 Adieu, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew xDD Doctow. 
Exeunt PAGE, ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ÚwÚ and SLENDER 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, ;;w;; me viww OwO kiww UwU de pwiest; fow ^.^ he speak fow :3 a jack- 
>_< an-ape to >_> Annye ^.^ Page. 
xDD HOST. Let ^.^ him die. ;;w;; Sheathe >w< thy x3 impatience; ^-^ thwow UwU cowd UwU watew 
on >w< thy uWu chowew; OwO go about x3 the fields with ;;w;; me ^w^ thwough x3 Fwogmowe; 
UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing uWu thee :3 whewe Mistress >_> Annye uWu Page ;;w;; is, uWu at :3 a :3 a 
^.^ fawm-house, ^-^ a-feasting; ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt ^.^ woo her. ^.^ Cwied 
OwO game! :33 Said UwU I ^.^ weww? 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, ;;w;; me dank xDD you vor ^.^ dat; ^.^ by ;;w;; gaw, UwU I wuv uWu you; ÚwÚ and 
UwU I UwU shaww x3 pwocuwe-a xDD you UwU de ÚwÚ good :3 guest, UwU de earl, UwU de UwU knyight, UwU de 
wowds, UwU de xDD gentwemen, x3 my patients. 
xDD HOST. For x3 the which UwU I xDD wiww be >w< thy ^w^ advewsawy toward >_> Annye 
^.^ Page. :33 Said UwU I ^.^ weww? 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, UwU 'tis good; vell UwU said. 
xDD HOST. Let >_> us wag, UwU then. 
xDD CAIUS. :3 Come uWu at x3 my heews, x3 Jack :33 Wugby. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT :3 III >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

^-^ A field nyeaw uWu Fwogmowe 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS ÚwÚ and SIMPLE 

EVANS. UwU I pray xDD you now, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew >w< Swendew's ^.^ sewving-man, 
ÚwÚ and :33 fwiend UwU Simpwe ^.^ by x3 youw :33 nyame, which uWu way uWu have xDD you 
>_> wook'd fow >_< Mastew Caius, :3 that ;;w;; cawws >_< himsewf uWu Doctow of 
:3 Physic? 
SIMPLE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, x3 the pittie-ward, x3 the uWu pawk-wawd; every 
way; ;;w;; owd ^-^ Windsow :3 way, ÚwÚ and every uWu way >_> but x3 the :33 town >_> way. 
EVANS. UwU I UwU most >w< fehementwy ^.^ desiwe xDD you xDD you xDD wiww awso wook :3 that 
>_> way. 
SIMPLE. UwU I :33 wiww, Siw. uWu Exit 
EVANS. Pless x3 my x3 souw, >w< how full of x3 chowwows UwU I am, ÚwÚ and ^w^ twempwing 
of ÚwÚ mind! UwU I UwU shaww be uWu gwad >_> if ^.^ he uWu have deceived x3 me. How 
melancholies UwU I am! UwU I xDD wiww knog :33 his uwinyaws about :33 his knave's 
ÚwÚ costawd when UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ goot oppowtunyities fow x3 the ork. Pless 
x3 my souw! OwO [Sings] 
;;w;; To shallow ^-^ wivews, to x3 whose ^w^ fawws 
Melodious xDD biwds ^-^ sings :3 madwigaws; 
>_> Thewe xDD wiww ^.^ we >_< make UwU ouw ^.^ peds of >_> woses, 
xDD And :3 a thousand ^-^ fwagwant :3 posies. 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ shawwow- 
^w^ Mewcy on me! UwU I uWu have :3 a great ^w^ dispositions to ^-^ cwy. OwO [Sings] 
Melodious xDD biwds ^.^ sing madrigals- 
:33 Whenyas UwU I sat uWu in :33 Pabywon- 
xDD And :3 a thousand vagwam :3 posies. 
;;w;; To ^w^ shawwow, :33 etc. 

^.^ We-entew SIMPLE 

SIMPLE. Yondew ^.^ he ;;w;; is, xDD coming ÚwÚ this :3 way, Sir ;;w;; Hugh. 
EVANS. He's x3 wewcome. OwO [Sings] 
;;w;; To shallow ^-^ wivews, to x3 whose :33 fawws- 
uWu Heaven prosper x3 the wight! >_> What >_< weapons >_> is uWu he? 
SIMPLE. No ^.^ weapons, sir. >_> Thewe x3 comes x3 my ^.^ mastew, >_< Mastew 
Shallow, ÚwÚ and anyothew gentweman, from OwO Fwogmowe, uvw x3 the 
uWu stiwe, ÚwÚ this >_> way. 
EVANS. >_> Pway xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me x3 my x3 gown; ow >_> ewse >_< keep >w< it uWu in x3 youw 
arms. OwO [Takes x3 out :3 a uWu book] 

Entew PAGE, ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ÚwÚ and SLENDER 

x3 SHAWWOW. How now, >_< Mastew :3 Pawson! ^-^ Good morrow, ÚwÚ good 
Sir ;;w;; Hugh. ^w^ Keep :3 a gamestew from x3 the uWu dice, ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ student 
from :33 his ^-^ book, ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is wondewfuw. 
x3 SWENDEW. :3 [Aside] xDD Ah, x3 sweet >_> Annye :33 Page! 
xDD PAGE. :3 Save UwU you, ÚwÚ good Sir x3 Hugh! 
EVANS. Pless xDD you from :33 his xDD mewcy ^w^ sake, aww of you! 
x3 SHAWWOW. What, x3 the xDD swowd ÚwÚ and x3 the word! Do xDD you ^-^ study 
them xDD both, >_< Mastew Pawson? 
xDD PAGE. xDD And youthfuw still, uWu in x3 youw ^w^ doubwet ÚwÚ and OwO hose, ÚwÚ this >w< waw 
^.^ wheumatic ^.^ day! 
EVANS. >_> Thewe >_> is weasons ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ causes fow :3 it. 
xDD PAGE. We OwO awe come to xDD you to UwU do :3 a ÚwÚ good office, >_< Mastew 
^w^ Pawson. 
EVANS. Fery well; >_> what >_> is :33 it? 
xDD PAGE. Yondew >_> is :3 a UwU most reverend gentweman, who, ;;w;; bewike xDD having 
uWu weceived wrong ^.^ by x3 some pewson, >_> is uWu at UwU most ^w^ odds with 
:33 his UwU own >_< gwavity ÚwÚ and uWu patience :3 that OwO evew xDD you x3 saw. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU I uWu have >_< wived ^w^ fouwscowe years ÚwÚ and upward; UwU I >_< nyevew 
heard :3 a x3 man of :33 his pwace, gravity, ÚwÚ and ^w^ weawnying, UwU so uWu wide of 
:33 his UwU own wespect. 
EVANS. >_> What >_> is uWu he? 
xDD PAGE. UwU I think xDD you ^.^ knyow :33 him: >_< Mastew uWu Doctow Caius, x3 the 
uWu wenyownyed OwO Fwench physician. 
EVANS. >_< Got's xDD wiww ÚwÚ and :33 his passion of x3 my :33 heawt! UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief 
xDD you ^.^ wouwd tell ;;w;; me of :3 a UwU mess of porridge. 
xDD PAGE. xDD Why? 
EVANS. >w< He >_> has nyo ^.^ mowe >_< knyowwedge uWu in :3 Hibocwates ÚwÚ and 
xDD Gawen, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is :3 a x3 knyave >_< besides-a >w< cowawdwy x3 knyave >_< as xDD you 
^.^ wouwd desiwes to be >_> acquainted uWu withaw. 
xDD PAGE. UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, uWu he's x3 the x3 man >_> shouwd >w< fight with ^.^ him. 
x3 SWENDEW. :3 [Aside] x3 O x3 sweet >_> Annye :33 Page! 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ It >_> appeaws >_> so, ^.^ by :33 his uWu weapons. ^w^ Keep them asunder; 
OwO hewe x3 comes uWu Doctow ^w^ Caius. 

Entew x3 HOST, ;;w;; CAIUS, ÚwÚ and WUGBY 

xDD PAGE. Nyay, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew >_> Pawson, >_< keep uWu in x3 youw >_< weapon. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^w^ So UwU do UwU you, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew xDD Doctow. 
xDD HOST. >_< Disawm ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and wet them OwO question; wet them >_< keep 
uWu theiw x3 wimbs whole ÚwÚ and OwO hack UwU ouw Engwish. 
xDD CAIUS. UwU I pray UwU you, ^.^ wet-a ;;w;; me speak :3 a ;;w;; wowd with x3 youw :3 eaw. 
;;w;; Vewefowe xDD wiww xDD you nyot meet-a me? 
EVANS. ^-^ [Aside to :33 CAIUS] >_> Pway xDD you use x3 youw >_> patience; uWu in 
ÚwÚ good uWu time. 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, xDD you OwO awe UwU de xDD cowawd, UwU de x3 Jack dog, John x3 ape. 
EVANS. ^-^ [Aside to :33 CAIUS] >_> Pway UwU you, wet >_> us nyot be 
xDD waughing-stocks to othew men's xDD humouws; UwU I ^.^ desiwe xDD you uWu in 
^-^ fwiendship, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww one uWu way ow othew >_< make xDD you >_> amends. 
;;w;; [Awoud] UwU I xDD wiww knog x3 youw uwinyaws about x3 youw knave's cogscomb 
fow missing x3 youw ÚwÚ meetings ÚwÚ and :33 appointments. 
xDD CAIUS. UwU Diabwe! x3 Jack Rugby-mine UwU Host UwU de x3 Jawteew-have UwU I 
nyot xDD stay fow ^.^ him to OwO kiww him? :3 Have UwU I >_> nyot, uWu at UwU de :33 pwace UwU I uWu did 
:33 appoint? 
EVANS. ;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am :3 a Chwistians x3 souw, now, wook UwU you, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the 
:33 pwace :3 appointed. I'll be ^w^ judgment ^.^ by >_< minye host of x3 the 
uWu Gawtew. 
xDD HOST. uWu Peace, UwU I say, Gawwia ÚwÚ and Gaul, OwO Fwench ÚwÚ and OwO Wewsh, 
uWu souw-cuwew ÚwÚ and >_< body-cuwew. 
xDD CAIUS. Ay, ^.^ dat >_> is xDD vewy >w< good! excellent! 
xDD HOST. uWu Peace, UwU I :3 say. >w< Heaw >_< minye host of x3 the uWu Gawtew. ^w^ Am UwU I 
UwU powitic? ^w^ am UwU I >w< subtwe? ^w^ am UwU I :3 a OwO Machiavew? Shall UwU I wose x3 my 
>_> doctow? No; ^.^ he ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me x3 the ^w^ potions ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 motions. Shall UwU I 
wose x3 my UwU pawson, x3 my ;;w;; pwiest, x3 my Sir >_< Hugh? No; ^.^ he ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me 
x3 the >_> pwuvwbs ÚwÚ and x3 the nyuvwbs. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, :33 tewwestwiaw; 
:3 so. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, ;;w;; cewestiaw; :3 so. ^.^ Boys of awt, UwU I uWu have 
>_> deceiv'd xDD you both; UwU I uWu have ^-^ diwected xDD you to wrong >_> pwaces; 
x3 youw heawts OwO awe x3 mighty, x3 youw ÚwÚ skins OwO awe ^-^ whowe, ÚwÚ and wet burnt 
^-^ sack be x3 the UwU issue. ^.^ Come, uWu way uWu theiw :33 swowds to ÚwÚ pawn. Follow 
uWu me, wads of :3 peace; follow, follow, x3 fowwow. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Twust uWu me, :3 a ^-^ mad >_< host. ÚwÚ Fowwow, xDD gentwemen, x3 fowwow. 
x3 SWENDEW. :3 [Aside] x3 O x3 sweet >_> Annye :33 Page! 
Exeunt aww >_> but >_> CAIUS ÚwÚ and UwU EVANS 
xDD CAIUS. >w< Ha, UwU do UwU I >_> pewceive >_> dat? :3 Have xDD you ^w^ make-a UwU de uWu sot of us, 
ha, ^.^ ha? 
EVANS. This >_> is well; ^.^ he >_> has UwU made >_> us :33 his x3 vwouting-stog. UwU I 
^.^ desiwe xDD you :3 that ^.^ we OwO may be >_< fwiends; ÚwÚ and wet >_> us knog UwU ouw UwU pwains 
togethew to be xDD wevenge on ÚwÚ this same ^.^ scaww, scuwvy, ^.^ cogging 
>_< companyion, x3 the host of x3 the uWu Gawtew. 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. >w< He promise to ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me 
:3 whewe >_> is >_> Annye ^-^ Page; ^.^ by ;;w;; gaw, ^.^ he >w< deceive ;;w;; me UwU too. 
EVANS. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww OwO smite :33 his :3 nyoddwes. >_> Pway xDD you x3 fowwow. 
Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

uWu The :3 stweet uWu in ^-^ Windsow 

Entew xDD MISTWESS ^.^ PAGE ÚwÚ and ROBIN 

:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Nyay, >_< keep x3 youw :3 way, xDD wittwe x3 gawwant; xDD you :3 wewe 
UwU wont to be :3 a :3 fowwowew, >_> but nyow xDD you OwO awe :3 a leader. Whethew 
xDD had xDD you rather lead >_< minye ^w^ eyes, ow ^w^ eye x3 youw xDD mastew's heels? 
ROBIN. UwU I xDD had UwU wathew, xDD fowsooth, OwO go >w< befowe xDD you ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man than 
;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a dwawf. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >_< O, xDD you OwO awe :3 a flattering ^.^ boy; nyow UwU I >_> see you'ww be :3 a 
courtier. 

Entew uWu FOWD 

FORD. Weww :3 met, Mistress ^.^ Page. x3 Whithew OwO go you? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ Twuwy, ^w^ siw, to >_> see x3 youw x3 wife. Is ^.^ she uWu at ^w^ home? 
FORD. Ay; ÚwÚ and >_< as idle >_< as ^.^ she OwO may ^w^ hang together, fow ^.^ want of 
UwU company. UwU I >_< think, >_> if x3 youw ;;w;; husbands :3 wewe >_< dead, xDD you >w< two 
^.^ wouwd marry. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^w^ Be >_< suwe of that-two othew husbands. 
FORD. Whewe xDD had xDD you ÚwÚ this OwO pwetty ^.^ weathewcock? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell >_> what x3 the >_< dickens :33 his xDD nyame >_> is x3 my 
:33 husband xDD had ^.^ him uWu of. >_> What UwU do xDD you caww x3 youw >_> knyight's 
:33 nyame, ÚwÚ siwwah? 
ROBIN. Sir John >w< Fawstaff. 
FORD. Sir John >w< Fawstaff! 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ He, he; UwU I ^.^ can >_< nyevew ;;w;; hit UwU on's nyame. >_> Thewe >_> is xDD such 
:3 a :33 weague ^-^ between x3 my ÚwÚ good x3 man ÚwÚ and OwO he! Is x3 youw >w< wife uWu at 
^.^ home >_< indeed? 
FORD. :33 Indeed ^.^ she >w< is. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ By x3 youw weave, sir. UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick >w< tiww UwU I >_> see her. 
Exeunt :33 MWS. ^.^ PAGE ÚwÚ and ROBIN 
FORD. x3 Has uWu Page xDD any brains? >_< Hath ^.^ he xDD any uWu eyes? >_< Hath ^.^ he xDD any 
thinking? Sure, ;;w;; they ^w^ sweep; ^.^ he hath nyo use of OwO them. Why, 
ÚwÚ this ;;w;; boy xDD wiww carry :3 a >_> wettew ÚwÚ twenty miwe >_< as ^w^ easy >_< as :3 a cannon 
xDD wiww >w< shoot OwO pointbwank >_< twewve >_< scowe. >w< He uWu pieces x3 out :33 his ^w^ wife's 
inclination; ^.^ he ;;w;; gives her >w< fowwy >_> motion ÚwÚ and advantage; ÚwÚ and 
nyow ^w^ she's x3 going to x3 my :3 wife, ÚwÚ and Falstaff's ;;w;; boy with her. ^-^ A 
x3 man OwO may hear ÚwÚ this OwO show'w ^.^ sing uWu in x3 the ^.^ wind. xDD And Falstaff's 
;;w;; boy with >_> hew! ^-^ Good pwots! ^-^ They OwO awe laid; ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ^w^ wevowted 
;;w;; wives share uWu damnyation together. ^-^ Weww; UwU I xDD wiww OwO take :3 him, 
xDD then towtuwe x3 my :3 wife, pluck x3 the bowwowed veiw of ÚwÚ modesty 
from x3 the UwU so ÚwÚ seeming Mistress >_> Page, divuwge uWu Page >_< himsewf 
fow :3 a ^.^ secuwe ÚwÚ and ^.^ wiwfuw ;;w;; Actaeon; ÚwÚ and to these :3 viowent proceedings 
aww x3 my neighbours UwU shaww cwy ÚwÚ aim. xDD [Cwock >w< stwikes] 
uWu The >w< cwock ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me x3 my ÚwÚ cue, ÚwÚ and x3 my assurance UwU bids ;;w;; me 
search; there UwU I UwU shaww find >w< Fawstaff. UwU I UwU shaww be rather UwU pwais'd 
fow ÚwÚ this than mock'd; fow >w< it >_> is >_< as positive >_< as x3 the ^.^ eawth >_> is >w< fiwm 
:3 that Falstaff >_> is :33 thewe. UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. 

Entew PAGE, ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ^.^ SWENDEW, x3 HOST, ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH :33 EVANS, 
;;w;; CAIUS, ÚwÚ and WUGBY 

;;w;; SHAWWOW, PAGE, &C. Weww :3 met, >_< Mastew x3 Fowd. 
FORD. Twust uWu me, :3 a ÚwÚ good xDD knyot; UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ good cheer uWu at ^.^ home, 
ÚwÚ and UwU I pray xDD you aww OwO go with x3 me. 
x3 SHAWWOW. UwU I ^w^ must UwU excuse myself, >_< Mastew x3 Fowd. 
x3 SWENDEW. xDD And UwU so ^w^ must I, siw; ^.^ we uWu have uWu appointed to ÚwÚ dinye with 
Mistress ÚwÚ Annye, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot bweak with her fow ^.^ mowe 
monyey than I'll speak uWu of. 
x3 SHAWWOW. We uWu have UwU wingew'd about :3 a >_< match ^-^ between >_> Annye 
uWu Page ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD cousin Slender, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this day ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have 
UwU ouw answer. 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I UwU hope UwU I uWu have x3 youw ÚwÚ good :33 wiww, >w< fathew ^.^ Page. 
xDD PAGE. >_> You have, >_< Mastew Swendew; UwU I stand wholly fow OwO you. OwO But 
x3 my :3 wife, >_< Mastew ÚwÚ Doctow, >_> is fow xDD you :33 awtogethew. 
xDD CAIUS. Ay, be-gar; ÚwÚ and UwU de >_< maid >_> is :3 wuv-a OwO me; x3 my nyuwsh-a 
;;w;; Quickwy tell ;;w;; me UwU so ^-^ mush. 
xDD HOST. >_> What >_> say xDD you to xDD young >_< Mastew ^.^ Fenton? >w< He ^-^ capews, 
^.^ he x3 dances, ^.^ he >_> has eyes of youth, ^.^ he >_< wwites ^w^ vewses, ^.^ he xDD speaks 
^.^ howiday, ^.^ he >_< smewws ;;w;; Apwiw ÚwÚ and >_> May; ^.^ he xDD wiww carry :3 't, ^.^ he xDD wiww 
carry UwU 't; UwU 'tis uWu in :33 his buttons; ^.^ he xDD wiww carry :3 't. 
xDD PAGE. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ by x3 my ^.^ consent, UwU I promise OwO you. uWu The ÚwÚ gentweman >_> is 
of nyo >_> having: ^.^ he :33 kept >_< company with x3 the >w< wiwd Prince ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; Poins; ^.^ he >_> is of ^w^ too xDD high :3 a ^-^ wegion, ^.^ he xDD knyows ^w^ too :33 much. :3 Nyo, 
^.^ he UwU shaww nyot >w< knyit :3 a >_< knyot uWu in :33 his fowtunyes with x3 the finger of 
x3 my xDD substance; >_> if ^.^ he OwO take hew, wet ^.^ him OwO take her simply; x3 the 
weawth UwU I uWu have waits on x3 my ^.^ consent, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< consent xDD goes 
nyot :3 that >_> way. 
FORD. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, UwU heawtiwy, x3 some of xDD you OwO go ^.^ home with ;;w;; me 
to uWu dinnyew: ;;w;; besides x3 youw cheew, xDD you UwU shaww uWu have >_< spowt; UwU I xDD wiww 
x3 show xDD you :3 a ^.^ monstew. >_< Mastew ÚwÚ Doctow, xDD you UwU shaww go; UwU so UwU shaww 
UwU you, >_< Mastew ^-^ Page; ÚwÚ and UwU you, Sir ;;w;; Hugh. 
x3 SHAWWOW. xDD Weww, ^-^ fawe xDD you well; ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have x3 the ÚwÚ fweew 
:33 wooing uWu at >_< Mastew Page's. Exeunt UwU SHAWWOW ÚwÚ and SLENDER 
xDD CAIUS. Go ^.^ home, John xDD Wugby; UwU I come x3 anyon. uWu Exit WUGBY 
xDD HOST. UwU Faweweww, x3 my >_> heawts; UwU I xDD wiww to x3 my xDD honyest knight 
:33 Fawstaff, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dwink uWu canyawy with ^.^ him. uWu Exit :33 HOST 
FORD. :3 [Aside] UwU I think UwU I UwU shaww ÚwÚ dwink uWu in uWu pipe-winye xDD fiwst with 
^.^ him. I'll >_< make ^.^ him >_< dance. Will xDD you x3 go, >w< gentwes? 
uWu AWW. :3 Have with xDD you to >_> see ÚwÚ this ^.^ monstew. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

xDD FOWD'S ;;w;; house 

Entew xDD MISTWESS uWu FOWD ÚwÚ and xDD MISTWESS ^.^ PAGE 

:33 MWS. FORD. What, John! x3 what, >w< Wobewt! 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Quickly, quickwy! Is x3 the buck-basket- 
:33 MWS. FORD. UwU I ;;w;; wawwant. What, Wobin, UwU I ;;w;; say! 

Entew ^-^ SEWVANTS with :3 a ;;w;; basket 

:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^.^ Come, come, x3 come. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Here, uWu set >w< it down. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Give x3 youw ;;w;; men x3 the chawge; ^.^ we ^w^ must be bwief. 
:33 MWS. FORD. OwO Mawwy, >_< as UwU I told xDD you x3 befowe, John ÚwÚ and UwU Wobewt, be 
ready OwO hewe x3 hawd ^.^ by uWu in x3 the bwew-house; ÚwÚ and when UwU I ;;w;; suddenwy 
caww UwU you, come ^-^ fowth, x3 and, ^-^ without xDD any :3 pause ow 
^-^ staggewing, OwO take ÚwÚ this ;;w;; basket on x3 youw shoulders. :33 That :33 donye, 
UwU twudge with >w< it uWu in aww xDD haste, ÚwÚ and carry >w< it ^-^ among x3 the uWu whitstews 
uWu in Datchet OwO Mead, ÚwÚ and there :33 empty >w< it uWu in x3 the >_> muddy UwU ditch 
^-^ cwose ^.^ by x3 the >_> Thames ^w^ side. 
x3 Mws. xDD PAGE. >_> You xDD wiww UwU do :33 it? 
:33 MWS. FORD. UwU I UwU ha' told them uvw ÚwÚ and over; ;;w;; they ^.^ wack nyo 
diwection. ^w^ Be >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and come when xDD you OwO awe call'd. 
Exeunt ^-^ SEWVANTS 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. :3 Hewe x3 comes xDD wittwe :3 Wobin. 

Entew ROBIN 

:33 MWS. FORD. How now, x3 my :3 eyas-musket, >_> what nyews with 
you? 
ROBIN. OwO My >_< Mastew Sir John >_> is come uWu in uWu at x3 youw back-doow, 
Mistress :33 Fowd, ÚwÚ and uWu wequests x3 youw UwU company. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >_> You xDD wittwe OwO Jack-a-Went, uWu have xDD you :33 been true to us? 
ROBIN. Ay, I'll be swown. OwO My >_< mastew xDD knyows nyot of x3 youw 
^.^ being UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and hath threat'ned to put ;;w;; me x3 into everlasting 
>w< wibewty, >_> if UwU I tell xDD you of uWu it; fow ^.^ he ÚwÚ sweaws he'ww turn ;;w;; me xDD away. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; 'wt :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ boy; ÚwÚ this secrecy of ^.^ thinye UwU shaww 
be :3 a ^w^ taiwow to ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and UwU shaww >_< make uWu thee :3 a x3 nyew ^w^ doubwet ÚwÚ and 
x3 hose. I'll OwO go hide x3 me. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Do :3 so. Go tell >w< thy >_< mastew UwU I ^w^ am >_< awonye. ;;w;; [Exit 
>_> WOBIN] Mistress >_> Page, remember xDD you x3 youw >_< cue. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. UwU I :33 wawwant ÚwÚ thee; >_> if UwU I UwU do nyot ;;w;; act :33 it, xDD hiss x3 me. 
uWu Exit :33 MWS. ^.^ PAGE 
:33 MWS. FORD. Go ^.^ to, :33 then; we'll use ÚwÚ this ^.^ unwhowesome 
UwU humidity, ÚwÚ this gwoss ^.^ wat'wy ^.^ pumpion; we'll >_< teach ^.^ him to 
^.^ knyow >_> tuwtwes from UwU jays. 

Entew FALSTAFF 

>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Have UwU I caught ÚwÚ thee, x3 my ^-^ heavenwy uWu jewew? 
Why, nyow wet ;;w;; me >_> die, fow UwU I uWu have liv'd ^-^ wong >_< enyough; ÚwÚ this >_> is 
x3 the pewiod of x3 my ^.^ ambition. x3 O ÚwÚ this blessed houw! 
:33 MWS. FORD. x3 O x3 sweet Sir John! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Mistress :33 Fowd, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot :33 cog, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; pwate, 
Mistress x3 Fowd. Now UwU shaww UwU I x3 sin uWu in x3 my uWu wish; UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< thy 
:33 husband :3 wewe UwU dead; I'll speak >w< it >w< befowe x3 the best uWu wowd, UwU I 
^.^ wouwd >_< make uWu thee x3 my >_> wady. 
:33 MWS. FORD. UwU I x3 youw UwU wady, Sir ^w^ John? ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I >_> shouwd be :3 a ^w^ pitifuw 
>_> wady. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Let x3 the court of Fwance x3 show ;;w;; me xDD such anyothew. UwU I 
>_> see >w< how ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye ^.^ wouwd emulate x3 the UwU diamond; xDD thou x3 hast 
x3 the >w< wight arched beauty of x3 the ^w^ bwow :3 that x3 becomes x3 the 
ship-tiwe, x3 the tiwe-vawiant, ow xDD any tire of Venyetian ÚwÚ admittance. 
:33 MWS. FORD. ^-^ A uWu pwain :33 kewchief, Sir John; x3 my ^w^ bwows :33 become 
>_< nyothing else, nor :3 that weww >_> nyeithew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ By x3 the Wowd, xDD thou awt :3 a tyrant to >_> say so; xDD thou 
wouldst >_< make >w< an ^w^ absowute couwtiew, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< fiwm >_> fixtuwe of 
>w< thy :33 foot ^.^ wouwd UwU give >w< an :3 excewwent >_> motion to >w< thy :33 gait uWu in :3 a 
OwO semi-ciwcwed farthingale. UwU I >_> see >_> what xDD thou >w< wewt, >_> if :33 Fowtunye 
>w< thy foe uWu wewe, nyot OwO Nyatuwe, >w< thy :3 fwiend. ^.^ Come, xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot 
hide :3 it. 
:33 MWS. FORD. :3 Bewieve uWu me, there's nyo xDD such ^.^ thing uWu in x3 me. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What UwU made ;;w;; me wuv thee? Let :3 that :33 pewsuade uWu thee 
there's ^-^ something extwa-owdinyawy uWu in thee. ^.^ Come, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot 
:33 cog, ÚwÚ and >_> say xDD thou awt ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and :3 that, ^.^ wike :3 a UwU many of these 
>_> wisping hawthown-buds :3 that come ^.^ wike x3 women uWu in men's 
^w^ appawew, ÚwÚ and smell ^.^ wike xDD Buckwewsbuwy uWu in :33 simpwe time; UwU I 
cannot; >_> but UwU I wuv ÚwÚ thee, >_< nyonye >_> but ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and xDD thou desewv'st :3 it. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Do nyot ÚwÚ betway uWu me, siw; UwU I feaw xDD you wuv Mistress 
^.^ Page. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ mightst >_< as weww >_> say UwU I wuv to UwU wawk ^.^ by x3 the 
Countew-gate, which >_> is >_< as hateful to ;;w;; me >_< as x3 the >_< week of :3 a 
lime-kiln. 
:33 MWS. FORD. xDD Weww, heaven xDD knyows >w< how UwU I wuv uWu you; ÚwÚ and xDD you 
UwU shaww one day find :3 it. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^w^ Keep uWu in :3 that xDD mind; I'll OwO desewve :3 it. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Nyay, UwU I ^w^ must tell UwU you, UwU so xDD you do; ow >_> ewse UwU I couwd 
nyot be uWu in :3 that :33 mind. 
ROBIN. :33 [Within] Mistress :33 Fowd, Mistress ^w^ Fowd! hewe's 
Mistress uWu Page uWu at x3 the door, :3 sweating ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwowing ÚwÚ and ^w^ wooking 
OwO wiwdwy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd >_< nyeeds speak with xDD you presently. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 She UwU shaww nyot >_> see OwO me; UwU I xDD wiww :33 ensconce ;;w;; me x3 behind 
x3 the arras. 
:33 MWS. FORD. >_> Pway UwU you, UwU do so; ^w^ she's :3 a xDD vewy ^.^ tattwing uWu woman. 
[FALSTAFF OwO hides uWu himsewf] 

^.^ We-entew xDD MISTWESS ^.^ PAGE ÚwÚ and ROBIN 

x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? How >_< nyow! 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. x3 O Mistress :33 Fowd, >_> what uWu have xDD you done? uWu You'we 
ÚwÚ sham'd, ;;w;; y'awe uvwthwown, ;;w;; y'awe ÚwÚ undonye fow ever. 
:33 MWS. FORD. x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, ÚwÚ good Mistress Page? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. x3 O xDD weww-a-day, Mistress :33 Fowd, xDD having >w< an xDD honyest 
x3 man to x3 youw ^.^ husband, to UwU give ^.^ him xDD such cause of >w< suspicion! 
:33 MWS. FORD. >_> What cause of ^-^ suspicion? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >_> What cause of ^-^ suspicion? UwU Out ;;w;; upon UwU you, >w< how 
^w^ am UwU I >_> mistook uWu in you! 
:33 MWS. FORD. Why, :3 awas, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. uWu Youw husband's xDD coming hithew, ^w^ woman, with aww 
x3 the ^w^ officews uWu in ^w^ Windsow, to ^-^ seawch fow :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that ^.^ he 
;;w;; says >_> is OwO hewe nyow uWu in x3 the house, ^.^ by x3 youw ^.^ consent, to OwO take >w< an 
:33 iww ^w^ advantage of :33 his OwO absence. >_> You OwO awe >_< undonye. 
:33 MWS. FORD. 'Tis nyot >_> so, UwU I ^-^ hope. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >_> Pway heaven >w< it be nyot UwU so :3 that xDD you uWu have xDD such :3 a 
x3 man ^.^ hewe; >_> but UwU 'tis UwU most xDD cewtain x3 youw husband's uWu coming, 
with half ^-^ Windsow uWu at :33 his heews, to ^-^ seawch fow xDD such :3 a onye. UwU I 
come >w< befowe to tell OwO you. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ knyow >_> youwsewf cweaw, >w< why, 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad of uWu it; >_> but >_> if xDD you uWu have :3 a :33 fwiend UwU hewe, ^w^ convey, 
:33 convey ^.^ him OwO out. ^w^ Be nyot ^-^ amaz'd; caww aww x3 youw :33 senses to uWu you; 
;;w;; defend x3 youw weputation, ow bid >_< faweweww to x3 youw ÚwÚ good >w< wife 
fow ever. 
:33 MWS. FORD. >_> What UwU shaww UwU I ^-^ do? >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a gentweman, x3 my uWu deaw 
fwiend; ÚwÚ and UwU I feaw nyot >_< minye UwU own ^-^ shame >_< as much >_< as :33 his ÚwÚ pewiw. 
UwU I xDD had rather than :3 a thousand ;;w;; pound ^.^ he :3 wewe x3 out of x3 the 
ÚwÚ house. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. For UwU shame, >_< nyevew stand >w< 'you xDD had >_< wathew' ÚwÚ and >w< 'you 
xDD had wathew'! uWu Youw husband's OwO hewe uWu at xDD hand; ^.^ bethink xDD you of 
x3 some ÚwÚ conveyance; uWu in x3 the ;;w;; house xDD you ;;w;; cannyot hide ^.^ him. >_< O, 
>w< how uWu have xDD you >_> deceiv'd me! x3 Wook, OwO hewe >_> is :3 a >w< basket; >_> if ^.^ he be 
of xDD any ^.^ weasonyabwe UwU statuwe, ^.^ he OwO may :3 cweep uWu in ^.^ hewe; ÚwÚ and ^-^ thwow 
fouw linen ;;w;; upon :3 him, >_< as >_> if >w< it :3 wewe x3 going to ^-^ bucking, or-it >_> is 
whiting-time-send ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 youw >w< two ;;w;; men to Datchet 
xDD Mead. 
:33 MWS. FORD. He's ^w^ too big to OwO go uWu in :33 thewe. >_> What UwU shaww UwU I ^-^ do? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. [Coming forward] Let ;;w;; me >_> see :3 't, wet ;;w;; me >_> see :3 't. >_< O, 
wet ;;w;; me >_> see ÚwÚ 't! I'll x3 in, I'll UwU in; ;;w;; fowwow x3 youw ^-^ fwiend's counsew; 
I'll ^.^ in. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. What, Sir John >w< Fawstaff! ^-^ [Aside to FALSTAFF] 
^w^ Awe these x3 youw letters, knyight? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ [Aside to :33 MWS. xDD PAGE] UwU I wuv uWu thee ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye >_> but 
ÚwÚ thee; OwO hewp ;;w;; me ÚwÚ away.-Wet ;;w;; me :3 cweep uWu in ^.^ hewe; I'll never- 
^-^ [Gets x3 into x3 the >w< basket; ;;w;; they UwU cuvw ^.^ him with fouw linen] 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ Hewp to UwU cuvw x3 youw ^.^ mastew, uWu boy. ;;w;; Caww x3 youw men, 
Mistress x3 Fowd. >_> You dissembling uWu knyight! 
:33 MWS. FORD. What, John! >w< Wobewt! John! uWu Exit ROBIN 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ SEWVANTS 

^w^ Go, OwO take x3 up these x3 cwothes UwU hewe, ^.^ quickwy; where's x3 the 
^-^ coww-staff? Wook >w< how xDD you x3 dwumbwe. xDD Cawwy them to x3 the x3 waundwess 
uWu in Datchet >_< Mead; ^w^ quickwy, x3 come. 

Entew x3 FOWD, PAGE, ;;w;; CAIUS, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS 

FORD. >_> Pway xDD you come ÚwÚ nyeaw. ;;w;; If UwU I >_> suspect ^-^ without >_< cause, >w< why 
xDD then >_< make spowt uWu at uWu me, xDD then wet ;;w;; me be x3 youw >_> jest; UwU I OwO desewve 
:3 it. How now, :33 whithew UwU beaw xDD you :3 this? 
SEWVANT. ;;w;; To x3 the UwU waundwess, ^-^ fowsooth. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Why, >_> what uWu have xDD you to UwU do :33 whithew ;;w;; they UwU beaw :33 it? 
>_> You :3 wewe best UwU meddwe with ^.^ buck-washing. 
FORD. Buck? UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I couwd >_< wash mysewf of x3 the ;;w;; buck! 
Buck, :33 buck, ;;w;; buck! :33 ay, ;;w;; buck! UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, uWu buck; ÚwÚ and of 
x3 the >_< season :3 too, >w< it UwU shaww :3 appeaw. UwU [Exeunt ^-^ SEWVANTS with 
basket] ÚwÚ Gentwemen, UwU I uWu have ^.^ dweam'd to-nyight; I'll tell xDD you x3 my 
UwU dweam. Here, UwU hewe, OwO hewe be x3 my keys; >_> ascend x3 my chambers, 
:3 seawch, seek, find OwO out. I'll :33 wawwant we'll unkennel x3 the xDD fox. 
Let ;;w;; me ÚwÚ stop ÚwÚ this uWu way fiwst. uWu [Wocking x3 the ^w^ doow] So, nyow 
UwU uncape. 
xDD PAGE. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew :33 Fowd, be contented; xDD you wrong >_> youwsewf 
^w^ too :33 much. 
FORD. >_< Twue, >_< Mastew ^.^ Page. ^-^ Up, xDD gentwemen, xDD you UwU shaww >_> see spowt 
anon; ;;w;; fowwow uWu me, >_< gentwemen. uWu Exit 
EVANS. This >_> is fewy OwO fantasticaw humours ÚwÚ and jealousies. 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, UwU 'tis nyo x3 the fashion of Fwance; >w< it >_> is nyot jealous 
uWu in Fwance. 
xDD PAGE. Nyay, ;;w;; fowwow :3 him, UwU gentwemen; >_> see x3 the x3 issue of :33 his 
seawch. Exeunt :33 EVANS, PAGE, ÚwÚ and >_> CAIUS 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Is there nyot :3 a :3 doubwe ÚwÚ excewwency uWu in :3 this? 
:33 MWS. FORD. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot which x3 pweases ;;w;; me better, :3 that x3 my 
:33 husband >_> is :33 deceived, ow Sir OwO John. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >_> What :3 a :3 taking UwU was ^.^ he uWu in when x3 youw :33 husband 
>w< ask'd who UwU was uWu in x3 the ;;w;; basket! 
:33 MWS. FORD. UwU I ^w^ am half :33 afwaid ^.^ he xDD wiww uWu have >_< nyeed of UwU washing; UwU so 
thwowing ^.^ him x3 into x3 the UwU watew xDD wiww UwU do ^.^ him :3 a benefit. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Hang :3 him, ;;w;; dishonyest rascal! UwU I ^.^ wouwd aww of x3 the 
same ;;w;; stwain :3 wewe uWu in x3 the same ÚwÚ distwess. 
:33 MWS. FORD. UwU I think x3 my :33 husband hath x3 some >_> speciaw >_> suspicion 
of Falstaff's ^.^ being UwU hewe, fow UwU I >_< nyevew saw ^.^ him UwU so gwoss uWu in :33 his 
^.^ jeawousy >w< tiww now. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. UwU I Will uWu way :3 a :3 pwot to >_> twy :3 that, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww yet uWu have 
^.^ mowe tricks with >w< Fawstaff. ÚwÚ His dissolute ÚwÚ disease xDD wiww scawce 
UwU obey ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ medicinye. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Shall ^.^ we >_> send :3 that >_< foowish cawwion, Mistress 
Quickly, to :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU excuse :33 his thwowing x3 into x3 the >_< watew, 
ÚwÚ and UwU give ^.^ him anyothew hope, to ÚwÚ betway ^.^ him to anyothew 
^.^ punyishment? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. We xDD wiww UwU do uWu it; wet ^.^ him be sent fow to-mowwow 
eight o'clock, to uWu have >_> amends. 

^.^ We-entew x3 FOWD, PAGE, ;;w;; CAIUS, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS 

FORD. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot find him; OwO may be x3 the x3 knyave ^.^ bwagg'd of :3 that 
^.^ he couwd nyot UwU compass. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ [Aside to :33 MWS. FORD] ^-^ Heawd xDD you ^-^ that? 
:33 MWS. FORD. >_> You use ;;w;; me weww, >_< Mastew :33 Fowd, UwU do you? 
FORD. Ay, UwU I UwU do :3 so. 
:33 MWS. FORD. uWu Heaven >_< make xDD you xDD bettew than x3 youw thoughts! 
FORD. ÚwÚ Amen. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >_> You UwU do >_> youwsewf ^-^ mighty wwong, >_< Mastew x3 Fowd. 
FORD. Ay, ^-^ ay; UwU I ^w^ must UwU beaw :3 it. 
EVANS. ;;w;; If there be xDD any pody uWu in x3 the house, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the 
chambers, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the >_> coffews, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the presses, heaven :33 fowgive 
x3 my :3 sins uWu at x3 the day of ;;w;; judgment! 
xDD CAIUS. ^w^ Be ;;w;; gaw, nor UwU I :3 too; there >_> is nyo >_> bodies. 
xDD PAGE. OwO Fie, >_< fie, >_< Mastew :33 Fowd, OwO awe xDD you nyot asham'd? >_> What 
^-^ spiwit, >_> what ^.^ deviw >_> suggests ÚwÚ this imagination? UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU ha' 
x3 youw xDD distempew uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu kind fow x3 the weawth of ^-^ Windsow 
UwU Castwe. 
FORD. 'Tis x3 my ^w^ fauwt, >_< Mastew ^-^ Page; UwU I suffew fow :3 it. 
EVANS. >_> You suffew fow :3 a pad ^w^ conscience. uWu Youw >w< wife >_> is >_< as 
xDD honyest :3 a :33 omans >_< as UwU I xDD wiww desiwes ^-^ among five ;;w;; thousand, ÚwÚ and five 
:3 hundwed UwU too. 
xDD CAIUS. ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, UwU I >_> see UwU 'tis >w< an xDD honyest uWu woman. 
FORD. xDD Weww, UwU I pwomis'd xDD you :3 a uWu dinnyew. ^.^ Come, come, UwU wawk uWu in 
x3 the :3 Pawk. UwU I pray xDD you UwU pawdon OwO me; UwU I xDD wiww heweaftew >_< make 
ÚwÚ knyown to xDD you >w< why UwU I uWu have donye UwU this. ^.^ Come, :3 wife, come, 
Mistress ^-^ Page; UwU I pray xDD you UwU pawdon OwO me; pray heartly, 
UwU pawdon x3 me. 
xDD PAGE. :3 Wet's OwO go x3 in, UwU gentwemen; but, :33 twust uWu me, we'll ÚwÚ mock ^.^ him. 
UwU I UwU do invite xDD you to-mowwow mownying to x3 my ;;w;; house to breakfast; 
after, we'll a-birding together; UwU I uWu have :3 a OwO finye x3 hawk fow 
x3 the :3 bush. Shall >w< it be so? 
FORD. x3 Any >_> thing. 
EVANS. ;;w;; If there >_> is one, UwU I UwU shaww >_< make >w< two uWu in x3 the UwU company. 
xDD CAIUS. ;;w;; If there be one ow >_> two, UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ make-a x3 the tuwd. 
FORD. >_> Pway xDD you x3 go, >_< Mastew ^.^ Page. 
EVANS. UwU I pray xDD you now, wemembwance to-mowwow on x3 the 
wousy ^-^ knyave, >_< minye >_< host. 
xDD CAIUS. ^.^ Dat >_> is good; ^.^ by ;;w;; gaw, with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
EVANS. ^-^ A wousy ^-^ knyave, to uWu have :33 his x3 gibes ÚwÚ and :33 his mockewies! 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

^.^ Befowe >_> PAGE'S ;;w;; house 

Entew FENTON ÚwÚ and >w< ANNyE ^.^ PAGE 

>_< FENTON. UwU I >_> see UwU I ;;w;; cannyot get >w< thy father's love; 
Therefore nyo ^.^ mowe turn ;;w;; me to :3 him, x3 sweet :33 Nyan. 
ANNE. ÚwÚ Awas, >w< how ^w^ then? 
>_< FENTON. Why, xDD thou ^w^ must be thysewf. 
>w< He xDD doth :33 object UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too great of birth; 
xDD And :3 that, x3 my >w< state ^.^ being gall'd with x3 my UwU expense, 
UwU I >_> seek to heal >w< it >w< onwy ^.^ by :33 his ;;w;; weawth. 
Besides OwO these, othew bars ^.^ he ways >w< befowe uWu me, 
OwO My wiots past, x3 my >w< wiwd societies; 
xDD And uWu tewws ;;w;; me UwU 'tis :3 a ^.^ thing xDD impossibwe 
UwU I >_> shouwd wuv uWu thee >_> but >_< as :3 a uWu pwopewty. 
ANNE.. ^-^ May be ^.^ he uWu tewws xDD you true. 
>_< FENTON. :3 Nyo, heaven UwU so ^w^ speed ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my time to >w< come! 
Awbeit UwU I xDD wiww x3 confess >w< thy father's weawth 
Was x3 the xDD fiwst motive :3 that UwU I woo'd ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ Annye; 
Yet, :33 wooing ÚwÚ thee, UwU I >_> found uWu thee of ^.^ mowe value 
Than stamps uWu in ^.^ gowd, ow uWu sums uWu in uWu seawed bags; 
xDD And UwU 'tis x3 the xDD vewy ^w^ wiches of >w< thysewf 
:33 That nyow UwU I aim at. 
ANNE. ^w^ Gentwe >_< Mastew Fenton, 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> seek x3 my father's love; still >_> seek :33 it, sir. 
;;w;; If x3 oppowtunyity ÚwÚ and uWu humbwest >_> suit 
UwU Cannyot :3 attain :33 it, >w< why ^-^ then-hawk xDD you hithew. 
^w^ [They convewse apart] 

Entew ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ^.^ SWENDEW, ÚwÚ and xDD MISTWESS QUICKLY 

x3 SHAWWOW. ^.^ Bweak uWu theiw talk, Mistress Quickwy; x3 my kinsman 
UwU shaww speak fow himself. 
x3 SWENDEW. I'll >_< make :3 a >w< shaft ow :3 a OwO bowt on UwU 't; 'swid, UwU 'tis >_> but 
x3 ventuwing. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^w^ Be nyot dismay'd. 
x3 SWENDEW. :3 Nyo, ^.^ she UwU shaww nyot x3 dismay x3 me. UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow :3 that, 
>_> but :3 that UwU I ^w^ am afeawd. 
^-^ QUICKWY. ^.^ Hawk :3 ye, >_< Mastew Swendew ^.^ wouwd speak :3 a ;;w;; wowd 
with OwO you. 
ANNE. UwU I come to ^.^ him. :3 [Aside] This >_> is x3 my father's >w< choice. 
>_< O, >_> what :3 a wowwd of ^-^ viwe :3 iww-favouw'd :33 fauwts 
Looks handsome uWu in >w< thwee :3 hundwed uWu pounds :3 a year! 
^-^ QUICKWY. xDD And >w< how does ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew ^.^ Fenton? >_> Pway UwU you, :3 a 
;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >_> She's >w< coming; to hew, :3 coz. x3 O ^-^ boy, xDD thou >w< hadst :3 a 
;;w;; fathew! 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I xDD had :3 a ÚwÚ fathew, Mistress ^w^ Annye; x3 my :33 uncwe ^.^ can tell 
xDD you ÚwÚ good jests of ^.^ him. >_> Pway UwU you, uWu uncwe, tell Mistress >_> Annye 
x3 the xDD jest >w< how x3 my >w< fathew OwO stowe >w< two ^.^ geese x3 out of :3 a pen, ÚwÚ good 
uncle. 
x3 SHAWWOW. Mistress ÚwÚ Annye, x3 my xDD cousin loves OwO you. 
x3 SWENDEW. Ay, :3 that UwU I do; >_< as weww >_< as UwU I wuv xDD any OwO woman uWu in 
Gloucestershire. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< He xDD wiww ÚwÚ maintain xDD you ^.^ wike :3 a gentlewoman. 
x3 SWENDEW. Ay, :3 that UwU I xDD wiww come :3 cut ÚwÚ and wongtaiw, :33 undew x3 the 
degwee of :3 a UwU squiwe. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< He xDD wiww >_< make xDD you :3 a :3 hundwed ÚwÚ and :33 fifty uWu pounds 
jointure. 
ANNE. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew Shallow, wet ^.^ him ^.^ woo fow himself. 
x3 SHAWWOW. OwO Mawwy, UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow uWu it; UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow :3 that 
ÚwÚ good UwU comfowt. :33 She ;;w;; cawws UwU you, ÚwÚ coz; I'll OwO weave OwO you. 
ANNE. >_> Nyow, >_< Mastew Swendew- 
x3 SWENDEW. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good Mistress xDD Annye- 
ANNE. >_> What >_> is x3 youw xDD wiww? 
x3 SWENDEW. OwO My Will! ^.^ 'Od's x3 heawtwings, ^w^ that's :3 a OwO pwetty xDD jest 
^w^ indeed! UwU I ^w^ nye'ew UwU made x3 my xDD wiww ^w^ yet, UwU I >_> thank xDD heaven; UwU I ^w^ am nyot 
xDD such :3 a >_> sickwy x3 cweatuwe, UwU I UwU give heaven ;;w;; pwaise. 
ANNE. UwU I mean, >_< Mastew Slender, >_> what ^.^ wouwd xDD you with me? 
x3 SWENDEW. ^-^ Twuwy, fow >_< minye UwU own ÚwÚ pawt UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD wittwe ow >_< nyothing 
with OwO you. uWu Youw >w< fathew ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 uncwe hath UwU made >_< motions; 
>_> if >w< it be x3 my wuck, so; >_> if >_> nyot, ^w^ happy x3 man be :33 his >_> dowe! ^-^ They 
^.^ can tell xDD you >w< how ^.^ things OwO go xDD bettew than UwU I ;;w;; can. >_> You OwO may ^w^ ask 
x3 youw father; OwO hewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 

Entew ^.^ PAGE ÚwÚ and xDD MISTWESS ^.^ PAGE 

xDD PAGE. >_> Nyow, >_< Mastew x3 Swendew! Wuv :3 him, daughter xDD Annye- 
Why, >w< how now, >_> what does >_< Mastew :33 Fenton hewe? 
>_> You wrong uWu me, ^w^ siw, OwO thus still to >_> haunt x3 my ÚwÚ house. 
UwU I told UwU you, ^w^ siw, x3 my daughter >_> is uWu dispos'd uWu of. 
>_< FENTON. Nyay, >_< Mastew >_> Page, be nyot ;;w;; impatient. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew Fenton, come nyot to x3 my :33 chiwd. 
xDD PAGE. :33 She >_> is nyo >_< match fow OwO you. 
>_< FENTON. UwU Siw, xDD wiww xDD you hear me? 
xDD PAGE. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew Fenton. 
^.^ Come, >_< Mastew >w< Shawwow; come, >_< son Swendew; ^.^ in. 
Knyowing x3 my UwU mind, xDD you wrong uWu me, >_< Mastew Fenton. 
Exeunt PAGE, ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ÚwÚ and SLENDER 
^-^ QUICKWY. ^w^ Speak to Mistress ^.^ Page. 
>_< FENTON. ^-^ Good Mistress >_> Page, fow :3 that UwU I wuv x3 youw daughter 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a xDD wighteous fashion >_< as UwU I UwU do, 
x3 Pewfowce, OwO against aww x3 checks, rebukes, ÚwÚ and :3 mannyews, 
UwU I ^w^ must advance x3 the cowouws of x3 my xDD wuv, 
xDD And nyot x3 wetiwe. Let ;;w;; me uWu have x3 youw ÚwÚ good :33 wiww. 
ANNE. ^-^ Good :33 mothew, UwU do nyot marry ;;w;; me to :33 yond xDD foow. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. UwU I >_> mean >w< it x3 nyot; UwU I >_> seek xDD you :3 a xDD bettew husband. 
^-^ QUICKWY. >w< That's x3 my ^.^ mastew, >_< Mastew xDD Doctow. 
ANNE. ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I xDD had rather be uWu set ^w^ quick :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; eawth. 
xDD And bowl'd to :33 death with tuwnyips. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^.^ Come, >_> twoubwe nyot OwO youwsewf. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew 
Fenton, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot be x3 youw fwiend, nor enemy; 
OwO My daughter xDD wiww UwU I ;;w;; question >w< how ^.^ she loves UwU you, 
xDD And >_< as UwU I find hew, UwU so ^w^ am UwU I :33 affected; 
Tiww >w< then, farewell, siw; ^.^ she ^w^ must >_< nyeeds OwO go UwU in; 
:3 Hew >w< fathew xDD wiww be >w< angwy. 
>_< FENTON. UwU Faweweww, ^-^ gentwe mistress; farewell, :33 Nyan. 
Exeunt :33 MWS. ^.^ PAGE ÚwÚ and >w< ANNyE 
^-^ QUICKWY. This >_> is x3 my xDD doing >w< nyow: ÚwÚ 'Nyay,' uWu said UwU I 'wiww xDD you ;;w;; cast 
OwO away x3 youw chiwd on :3 a x3 foow, ÚwÚ and :3 a ^w^ physician? Wook on 
>_< Mastew uWu Fenton.' This >_> is x3 my doing. 
>_< FENTON. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, >_> once ^.^ to-nyight 
Give x3 my x3 sweet Nan ÚwÚ this wing. >_> Thewe's fow >w< thy OwO pains. 
^-^ QUICKWY. Now uWu Heaven >_> send uWu thee ÚwÚ good fortune! ;;w;; [Exit 
OwO FENTON] ^-^ A uWu kind >_< heawt ^.^ he hath; :3 a OwO woman ^.^ wouwd >w< wun ^w^ thwough 
fire ÚwÚ and UwU watew fow xDD such :3 a uWu kind ;;w;; heawt. OwO But yet UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my 
>_< mastew xDD had Mistress ^w^ Annye; ow UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< Mastew Swendew xDD had 
>w< hew; or, uWu in sooth, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< Mastew :33 Fenton xDD had >w< hew; UwU I xDD wiww 
UwU do >_> what UwU I ^.^ can fow them aww >_< thwee, fow UwU so UwU I uWu have pwomis'd, 
ÚwÚ and I'll be >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as x3 my wowd; >_> but >w< speciouswy fow >_< Mastew 
Fenton. xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ must of anyothew x3 ewwand to Sir John Falstaff 
from x3 my >w< two mistresses. >_> What :3 a beast ^w^ am UwU I to ^w^ swack :3 it! 
uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE 5. 

uWu The >w< Gawtew ^-^ Inn 

Entew FALSTAFF ÚwÚ and ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD Bawdowph, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
BARDOLPH. Here, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Go :3 fetch ;;w;; me :3 a quawt of >_< sack; put :3 a >_< toast uWu in :3 't. 
uWu Exit ^.^ BAWDOWPH 
:3 Have UwU I liv'd to be cawwied uWu in :3 a ^-^ basket, ^.^ wike :3 a bawwow of 
^w^ butchew's offal, ÚwÚ and to be :33 thwown uWu in x3 the >_> Thames? xDD Weww, >_> if 
UwU I be sewv'd xDD such anyothew OwO twick, I'll uWu have x3 my brains >_> ta'en x3 out 
ÚwÚ and buttew'd, ÚwÚ and UwU give them to :3 a dog fow :3 a uWu nyew-yeaw's uWu gift. 
uWu The rogues swighted ;;w;; me x3 into x3 the river with >_< as xDD wittwe ^-^ wemowse 
>_< as ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd uWu have >w< dwown'd :3 a ^w^ bwind :3 bitch's puppies, >_< fifteen 
:33 i' x3 th' UwU wittew; ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO may ^.^ knyow ^.^ by x3 my ;;w;; size :3 that UwU I uWu have 
:3 a uWu kind of alacrity uWu in ^-^ sinking; >_> if x3 the :3 bottom :3 wewe >_< as >_> deep >_< as 
heww UwU I >_> shouwd down. UwU I xDD had :33 been >w< dwown'd >_> but :3 that x3 the >w< showe 
UwU was shelvy ÚwÚ and xDD shawwow-a :33 death :3 that UwU I uWu abhow; fow x3 the UwU watew 
^-^ swewws :3 a xDD man; ÚwÚ and >_> what :3 a ^.^ thing >_> shouwd UwU I uWu have :33 been when 
xDD had :33 been >w< sweww'd! UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been :3 a OwO mountain of 
:3 mummy. 

^.^ We-entew uWu BAWDOWPH, with ^-^ sack 

BARDOLPH. >_> Hewe's Mistress Quickly, ^w^ siw, to speak with xDD you 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Come, wet ;;w;; me pouw uWu in x3 some ^-^ sack to x3 the >_> Thames 
water; fow x3 my x3 bewwy's >_< as UwU cowd >_< as >_> if UwU I xDD had swallow'd 
ÚwÚ snyowbawws fow >_> piwws to :3 coow x3 the ÚwÚ weins. ;;w;; Caww her ^.^ in. 
BARDOLPH. :3 Come x3 in, uWu woman. 

Entew xDD MISTWESS QUICKLY 

^-^ QUICKWY. ^-^ By x3 youw :3 weave; UwU I cwy xDD you mercy. Give x3 youw 
:33 wowship ÚwÚ good :3 mowwow. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Take OwO away these ^-^ chawices. ^w^ Go, bwew ;;w;; me :3 a pottle 
of ^-^ sack ÚwÚ finyewy. 
BARDOLPH. With xDD eggs, UwU siw? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU Simpwe of >_< itsewf; I'll nyo ^w^ puwwet-spewm uWu in x3 my 
>_> bwewage. ;;w;; [Exit ÚwÚ BAWDOWPH] How >_< nyow! 
^-^ QUICKWY. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I come to x3 youw :33 wowship from Mistress 
x3 Fowd. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Mistress ^w^ Fowd! UwU I uWu have xDD had ford >_< enyough; UwU I UwU was 
:33 thwown x3 into x3 the ÚwÚ fowd; UwU I uWu have x3 my bewwy full of ford. 
^-^ QUICKWY. Awas x3 the ^-^ day, ÚwÚ good uWu heawt, :3 that UwU was nyot her >_> fauwt! 
:33 She does UwU so OwO take on with her ÚwÚ men; ;;w;; they >_> mistook uWu theiw 
;;w;; ewection. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^w^ So uWu did UwU I >_> minye, to buiwd ;;w;; upon :3 a >_< foowish xDD woman's 
pwomise. 
^-^ QUICKWY. xDD Weww, ^.^ she laments, ^w^ siw, fow :33 it, :3 that >w< it ^.^ wouwd yearn 
x3 youw >_< heawt to >_> see :3 it. :3 Hew :33 husband xDD goes ÚwÚ this mownying 
:33 a-biwding; ^.^ she desiwes xDD you >_> once ^.^ mowe to come to her ^-^ between 
eight ÚwÚ and ^w^ nyinye; UwU I ^w^ must carry her ;;w;; wowd >w< quickwy. OwO She'ww >_< make 
xDD you amends, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD Weww, UwU I Will x3 visit her. Teww her so; ÚwÚ and bid her 
think >_> what :3 a x3 man >w< is. Let her OwO considew :33 his fwaiwty, ÚwÚ and xDD then 
OwO judge of x3 my x3 mewit. 
^-^ QUICKWY. UwU I xDD wiww tell her. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Do :3 so. Between >w< nyinye ÚwÚ and x3 ten, say'st thou? 
^-^ QUICKWY. ÚwÚ Eight ÚwÚ and nine, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD Weww, be xDD gonye; UwU I xDD wiww nyot ;;w;; miss her. 
^-^ QUICKWY. :3 Peace be with UwU you, sir. uWu Exit 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I :3 mawvew UwU I hear nyot of >_< Mastew Bwook; ^.^ he sent ;;w;; me 
;;w;; wowd to xDD stay x3 within. UwU I ^.^ wike :33 his monyey well. >_< O, OwO hewe ^.^ he 
^w^ comes. 

Entew uWu FOWD disguised 

FORD. :3 Bwess UwU you, sir! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> Nyow, >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, xDD you come to ^.^ knyow >_> what 
hath :33 pass'd ^-^ between ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and Ford's :33 wife? 
FORD. ^.^ That, :33 indeed, Sir John, >_> is x3 my business. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_< wie to uWu you; UwU I UwU was uWu at her 
;;w;; house x3 the >_> houw ^.^ she uWu appointed x3 me. 
FORD. xDD And sped UwU you, UwU siw? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Very ill-favouredly, >_< Mastew Brook. 
FORD. How >_> so, siw; uWu did ^.^ she change her ÚwÚ detewminyation? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. No. >_< Mastew Bwook; >_> but x3 the ^.^ peaking >_> cownyuto her 
^.^ husband, >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, dwelling uWu in :3 a continyuaw 'larum of 
jeawousy, x3 comes ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the x3 instant of OwO ouw, encountew, ÚwÚ aftew 
^.^ we xDD had embrac'd, uWu kiss'd, protested, x3 and, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, ^-^ spoke 
x3 the uWu pwowogue of UwU ouw :3 comedy; ÚwÚ and uWu at :33 his heels :3 a rabble of :33 his 
uWu companyions, uWu thithew pwovoked ÚwÚ and ^.^ instigated ^.^ by :33 his 
distempew, x3 and, xDD fowsooth, to ^-^ seawch :33 his ;;w;; house fow :33 his ^w^ wife's 
love. 
FORD. What, OwO whiwe xDD you :3 wewe OwO thewe? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. While UwU I UwU was :33 thewe. 
FORD. xDD And uWu did ^.^ he ^-^ seawch fow UwU you, ÚwÚ and couwd nyot find you? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> You UwU shaww heaw. ;;w;; As ÚwÚ good luck ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 it, x3 comes 
uWu in one Mistress >_> Page, ;;w;; gives ^.^ intewwigence of Ford's >_> appwoach; 
x3 and, uWu in her >w< invention ÚwÚ and Ford's ^w^ wife's ;;w;; distwaction, ;;w;; they 
;;w;; convey'd ;;w;; me x3 into :3 a OwO buck-basket. 
FORD. ^-^ A :3 buck-basket! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ By x3 the Wowd, :3 a :3 buck-basket! Ramm'd ;;w;; me uWu in with 
fouw shiwts ÚwÚ and UwU smocks, ^-^ socks, fouw stockings, ^-^ gweasy 
napkins, :3 that, >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, there UwU was x3 the rankest ÚwÚ compound 
of ÚwÚ viwwainyous smell :3 that OwO evew uWu offended nostril. 
FORD. xDD And >w< how ^-^ wong uWu way xDD you OwO thewe? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Nyay, xDD you UwU shaww heaw, >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, >_> what UwU I uWu have 
^w^ suffew'd to ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ this OwO woman to eviw fow x3 youw UwU good. uWu Being 
OwO thus cramm'd uWu in x3 the ^-^ basket, :3 a coupwe of Ford's knaves, :33 his 
xDD hinds, :3 wewe ^w^ caww'd fowth ^.^ by uWu theiw mistwess to carry ;;w;; me uWu in 
x3 the xDD nyame of fouw x3 cwothes to Datchet OwO Wanye; ;;w;; they >_> took ;;w;; me on 
uWu theiw >_< shouwdews; >w< met x3 the jealous x3 knyave uWu theiw >_< mastew uWu in x3 the 
door; who >w< ask'd them >_> once ow twice >_> what ;;w;; they xDD had uWu in uWu theiw 
>_> basket. UwU I >w< quak'd fow feaw xDD west x3 the wunyatic x3 knyave ^.^ wouwd uWu have 
:33 seawch'd uWu it; >_> but Fate, ÚwÚ owdainying ^.^ he >_> shouwd be :3 a ^w^ cuckowd, 
hewd :33 his >w< hand. xDD Weww, on OwO went ^.^ he fow :3 a :3 seawch, ÚwÚ and OwO away 
OwO went UwU I fow fouw >_< cwothes. OwO But mark x3 the :33 sequew, >_< Mastew 
:3 Bwook-I suffered x3 the x3 pangs of >w< thwee sevewaw deaths: ÚwÚ fiwst, 
>w< an intowewabwe :33 fwight to be xDD detected with :3 a jealous wotten 
:3 beww-wethew; next, to be ^.^ compass'd ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ good biwbo uWu in x3 the 
:33 ciwcumfewence of :3 a >_> peck, hiwt to UwU point, OwO heew to head; ÚwÚ and 
>w< then, to be ;;w;; stopp'd x3 in, ^.^ wike :3 a >w< stwong OwO distiwwation, with 
>w< stinking x3 cwothes :3 that ^w^ fwetted uWu in uWu theiw UwU own ^w^ gwease. ^w^ Think of :3 that 
^-^ -a x3 man of x3 my >_> kidnyey. ^w^ Think of ^-^ that-that ^w^ am >_< as x3 subject to 
^.^ heat >_< as UwU buttew; :3 a x3 man of continyuaw x3 dissowution ÚwÚ and x3 thaw. ^.^ It 
UwU was :3 a :33 miwacwe to ;;w;; scape >_> suffocation. xDD And uWu in x3 the height of 
ÚwÚ this :33 bath, when UwU I UwU was ^.^ mowe than half-stew'd uWu in x3 gwease, ^.^ wike 
:3 a Dutch :33 dish, to be :33 thwown x3 into x3 the Thames, ÚwÚ and >w< coow'd, 
>_< gwowing >_> hot, uWu in :3 that ^-^ suwge, ^.^ wike :3 a xDD howse-shoe; think of :3 that 
:3 -hissing xDD hot. ^w^ Think of :3 that, >_< Mastew Brook. 
FORD. ^w^ In ÚwÚ good xDD sadnyess, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^w^ am sowwy :3 that fow x3 my ÚwÚ sake xDD you 
uWu have ^w^ suffew'd aww UwU this. OwO My ^.^ suit, >w< then, >_> is ^-^ despewate; 
you'ww undewtake her nyo more. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, UwU I xDD wiww be :33 thwown x3 into OwO Etnya, >_< as UwU I 
uWu have :33 been x3 into Thames, ere UwU I xDD wiww OwO weave her OwO thus. :3 Hew 
:33 husband >_> is ÚwÚ this mownying >_> gonye :33 a-biwding; UwU I uWu have uWu weceived from 
her anyothew uWu embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight ÚwÚ and >w< nyinye >_> is 
x3 the ^-^ houw, >_< Mastew Brook. 
FORD. 'Tis x3 past eight already, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Is :33 it? UwU I Will xDD then address ;;w;; me to x3 my appointment. 
:3 Come to ;;w;; me uWu at x3 youw UwU convenyient >_> weisuwe, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww 
^.^ knyow >w< how UwU I ÚwÚ speed; ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO concwusion UwU shaww be ^.^ cwownyed 
with x3 youw enjoying her. uWu Adieu. >_> You UwU shaww uWu have hew, >_< Mastew 
Bwook; >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, xDD you UwU shaww cuckold x3 Fowd. uWu Exit 
FORD. :3 Hum! :33 ha! Is ÚwÚ this :3 a vision? Is ÚwÚ this :3 a ;;w;; dweam? Do UwU I ^w^ sweep? 
>_< Mastew :33 Fowd, ;;w;; awake; >w< awake, >_< Mastew x3 Fowd. >_> Thewe's :3 a x3 howe 
UwU made uWu in x3 youw best uWu coat, >_< Mastew x3 Fowd. This UwU 'tis to be 
^w^ mawwied; ÚwÚ this UwU 'tis to uWu have linen ÚwÚ and OwO buck-baskets! xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww 
:3 pwocwaim mysewf >_> what UwU I am; UwU I xDD wiww nyow OwO take x3 the OwO wechew; ^.^ he 
>_> is uWu at x3 my ÚwÚ house. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; scape OwO me; UwU 'tis xDD impossibwe ^.^ he 
>_< shouwd; ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot :3 cweep x3 into :3 a >w< hawfpenny >_< puwse nor x3 into 
:3 a ÚwÚ peppew xDD box. But, xDD west x3 the ^.^ deviw :3 that xDD guides ^.^ him >_> shouwd >_> aid 
:3 him, UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ seawch xDD impossibwe UwU pwaces. ;;w;; Though >_> what UwU I ^w^ am UwU I 
;;w;; cannyot >_> avoid, yet to be >_> what UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU shaww nyot >_< make 
;;w;; me tame. ;;w;; If UwU I uWu have >w< howns to >_< make one mad, wet x3 the pwuvwb 
OwO go with me-I'll be >_> hown >_> mad. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 

Windsor. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew xDD MISTWESS PAGE, xDD MISTWESS QUICKWY, ÚwÚ and UwU WIWWIAM 

:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Is ^.^ he uWu at >_< Mastew Ford's already, think'st thou? 
^-^ QUICKWY. Sure ^.^ he >_> is ^.^ by >_< this; ow xDD wiww be ^-^ pwesentwy; >_> but :33 twuwy 
^.^ he >_> is xDD vewy xDD couwageous ^-^ mad about :33 his thwowing x3 into x3 the 
>_> watew. Mistress >_< Fowd desiwes xDD you to come ÚwÚ suddenwy. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. I'll be with her ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ;;w;; by; I'll >_> but ;;w;; bwing x3 my 
xDD young x3 man OwO hewe to school. Wook :3 whewe :33 his >_< mastew ;;w;; comes; 
UwU 'tis :3 a :3 pwaying ^-^ day, UwU I ^-^ see. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS 

How now, Sir Hugh, nyo OwO schoow >w< to-day? 
EVANS. No; >_< Mastew Swendew >_> is wet x3 the >_< boys OwO weave to play. 
^-^ QUICKWY. Blessing of :33 his :33 heawt! 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Sir Hugh, x3 my :33 husband ;;w;; says x3 my >_< son pwofits 
>_< nyothing uWu in x3 the wowwd uWu at :33 his book; UwU I pray xDD you ^w^ ask ^.^ him x3 some 
UwU questions uWu in :33 his ^-^ accidence. 
EVANS. :3 Come hithew, ^.^ Wiwwiam; howd x3 up x3 youw head; x3 come. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. :3 Come ;;w;; on, siwwah; howd x3 up x3 youw head; answew x3 youw 
mastew; be nyot afraid. 
EVANS. >w< Wiwwiam, >w< how UwU many xDD nyumbews >_> is uWu in nyouns? 
WILLIAM. OwO Two. 
^-^ QUICKWY. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU I xDD thought there xDD had :33 been one ^w^ nyumbew 
>_> mowe, uWu because ;;w;; they >_> say ^.^ 'Od's nyouns.' 
EVANS. :3 Peace x3 youw uWu tattwings. >_> What >_> is 'faiw,' ^-^ Wiwwiam? 
WILLIAM. ^.^ Puwchew. 
^-^ QUICKWY. Polecats! >_> Thewe OwO awe fairer ^.^ things than polecats, 
>_> suwe. 
EVANS. >_> You OwO awe :3 a xDD vewy simplicity :3 oman; UwU I pray UwU you, peace. 
>_> What >_> is ;;w;; 'wapis,' ^-^ Wiwwiam? 
WILLIAM. ^-^ A uWu stonye. 
EVANS. xDD And >_> what >_> is xDD 'a ^-^ stonye,' ^-^ Wiwwiam? 
WILLIAM. ^-^ A pebbwe. 
EVANS. :3 Nyo, >w< it >_> is UwU 'wapis'; UwU I pray xDD you remember uWu in x3 youw :33 pwain. 
WILLIAM. Lapis. 
EVANS. :33 That >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good William. >_> What >_> is xDD he, >w< Wiwwiam, :3 that 
does xDD wend articles? 
WILLIAM. Articles OwO awe bowwowed of x3 the pronoun, ÚwÚ and be 
OwO thus declined: :3 Singuwawitew, nyominyativo; :3 hic, UwU haec, uWu hoc. 
EVANS. Nyominyativo, ^w^ hig, >_> hag, UwU hog; pray UwU you, mark: genitivo, 
hujus. xDD Weww, >_> what >_> is x3 youw OwO accusative x3 case? 
WILLIAM. x3 Accusativo, UwU hinc. 
EVANS. UwU I pray UwU you, uWu have x3 youw ^w^ wemembwance, :33 chiwd. 
x3 Accusativo, hung, uWu hang, UwU hog. 
^-^ QUICKWY. xDD 'Hang-hog' >_> is ;;w;; Watin fow :33 bacon, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
EVANS. Weave x3 youw pwabbwes, ^-^ oman. >_> What >_> is x3 the focative 
case, ^-^ Wiwwiam? 
WILLIAM. xDD O-vocativo, O. 
EVANS. OwO Wemembew, William: focative >_> is cawet. 
^-^ QUICKWY. xDD And ^w^ that's :3 a ÚwÚ good woot. 
EVANS. ^-^ Oman, ^.^ fowbeaw. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. :33 Peace. 
EVANS. >_> What >_> is x3 youw ÚwÚ genyitive case plural, ^-^ Wiwwiam? 
WILLIAM. :33 Genyitive x3 case? 
EVANS. uWu Ay. 
WILLIAM. Genitive: howum, ^w^ hawum, howum. 
^-^ QUICKWY. >_< Vengeance of Jenny's case; fie on >_> hew! xDD Nyevew 
xDD nyame hew, child, >_> if ^.^ she be :3 a ^-^ whowe. 
EVANS. For UwU shame, ^-^ oman. 
^-^ QUICKWY. YOU UwU do :33 iww to >_< teach x3 the chiwd xDD such ÚwÚ wowds. >w< He 
teaches ^.^ him to ^-^ hick ÚwÚ and to ^-^ hack, which they'ww UwU do ÚwÚ fast 
enough of themselves; ÚwÚ and to caww 'howum'; fie ;;w;; upon you! 
EVANS. ^-^ Oman, awt xDD thou lunatics? Hast xDD thou nyo UwU undewstandings 
fow >w< thy ;;w;; cases, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD nyumbews of x3 the genders? ^.^ Thou 
awt >_< as >_< foowish Christian ^-^ cweatuwes >_< as UwU I ^.^ wouwd :33 desiwes. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. UwU Pwithee howd >w< thy peace. 
EVANS. uWu Show ;;w;; me now, >w< Wiwwiam, x3 some OwO decwensions of x3 youw 
>_> pwonyouns. 
WILLIAM. Forsooth, UwU I uWu have :3 fowgot. 
EVANS. ^.^ It >_> is :3 qui, ;;w;; quae, quod; >_> if xDD you x3 fowget x3 youw ^w^ qui's, x3 youw 
>_> quae's, ÚwÚ and x3 youw OwO quod's, xDD you ^w^ must be >_< pweeches. Go x3 youw 
ways ÚwÚ and play; ÚwÚ go. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >w< He >_> is :3 a xDD bettew scholar than UwU I xDD thought ^.^ he uWu was. 
EVANS. >w< He >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good spwag memory. UwU Faweweww, Mistress ^.^ Page. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. :3 Adieu, ÚwÚ good Sir ;;w;; Hugh. uWu Exit ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH 
>_< Get xDD you ^.^ home, uWu boy. ^.^ Come, ^.^ we xDD stay ^w^ too wong. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

xDD FOWD'S ;;w;; house 

Entew FALSTAFF ÚwÚ and xDD MISTWESS uWu FOWD 

>_> FAWSTAFF. Mistress :33 Fowd, x3 youw sorrow hath eaten x3 up x3 my 
sufferance. UwU I >_> see xDD you OwO awe ^.^ obsequious uWu in x3 youw xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
pwofess wequitaw to :3 a haiw's ^-^ bweadth; nyot >_> onwy, Mistress :33 Fowd, uWu in 
x3 the :33 simpwe ^.^ office of xDD wuv, >_> but uWu in aww x3 the accoutrement, 
complement, ÚwÚ and ceremony of :3 it. OwO But OwO awe xDD you >_< suwe of x3 youw 
:33 husband ^.^ nyow? 
:33 MWS. FORD. He's uWu a-biwding, x3 sweet Sir OwO John. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. :33 [Within] >_> What ÚwÚ hoa, ^.^ gossip :33 Fowd, >_> what ^-^ hoa! 
:33 MWS. FORD. >w< Step x3 into x3 th' chamber, Sir OwO John. uWu Exit FALSTAFF 

Entew xDD MISTWESS ^.^ PAGE 

:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. How now, ^w^ sweetheawt, OwO who's uWu at ^.^ home ;;w;; besides 
>w< youwsewf? 
:33 MWS. FORD. Why, >_< nyonye >_> but >_< minye UwU own ^-^ peopwe. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ Indeed? 
:33 MWS. FORD. :3 Nyo, certainly. ^-^ [Aside to :3 hew] ^w^ Speak louder. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU I ^w^ am UwU so uWu gwad xDD you uWu have >w< nyobody hewe. 
:33 MWS. FORD. xDD Why? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Why, ^w^ woman, x3 youw :33 husband >_> is uWu in :33 his ;;w;; owd wunyes 
;;w;; again. >w< He UwU so UwU takes on yonder with x3 my xDD husband; UwU so ^-^ waiws 
OwO against aww mawwied x3 mankind; UwU so cuwses >w< an >_< Eve's ^w^ daughtews, 
of >_> what >_< compwexion >w< soevew; ÚwÚ and UwU so ^w^ buffets >_< himsewf on x3 the 
forehead, :3 cwying >_< 'Peew-out, peew-out!' :3 that xDD any ^-^ madnyess UwU I 
OwO evew yet beheld ^w^ seem'd >_> but :3 tamenyess, :3 civiwity, ÚwÚ and patience, 
to ÚwÚ this :33 his xDD distempew ^.^ he >_> is uWu in now. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad x3 the :33 fat knight 
>_> is nyot hewe. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Why, does ^.^ he tawk of him? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Of >_< nyonye >_> but him; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ sweaws ^.^ he UwU was cawwied ^.^ out, 
x3 the >w< wast time ^.^ he :33 seawch'd fow :3 him, uWu in :3 a >w< basket; uWu pwotests to 
x3 my :33 husband ^.^ he >_> is nyow ^.^ hewe; ÚwÚ and hath drawn ^.^ him ÚwÚ and x3 the 
xDD west of uWu theiw >_< company from uWu theiw sport, to >_< make anyothew 
^-^ expewiment of :33 his suspicion. OwO But UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad x3 the knight >_> is nyot 
^.^ hewe; nyow ^.^ he UwU shaww >_> see :33 his UwU own UwU foowewy. 
:33 MWS. FORD. How nyeaw >_> is xDD he, Mistress Page? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ÚwÚ Hawd UwU by, uWu at :3 stweet ^w^ end; ^.^ he xDD wiww be OwO hewe x3 anyon. 
:33 MWS. FORD. UwU I ^w^ am >w< undonye: x3 the knight >_> is hewe. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Why, >w< then, xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; uttewwy ÚwÚ sham'd, ÚwÚ and uWu he's >_> but 
:3 a >_< dead man. >_> What :3 a OwO woman OwO awe you! UwU Away with :3 him, 
OwO away with him; xDD bettew ^-^ shame than ^-^ muwdew. 
:33 MWS. FORD. >_< Which uWu way >_> shouwd ^.^ he >w< go? How >_> shouwd UwU I bestow 
him? Shall UwU I put ^.^ him x3 into x3 the ;;w;; basket ^w^ again? 

^.^ We-entew FALSTAFF 

>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Nyo, I'll come nyo ^.^ mowe :33 i' x3 th' >_> basket. ^-^ May UwU I nyot OwO go 
x3 out ere ^.^ he come? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ÚwÚ Awas, >w< thwee of >_< Mastew Ford's bwothews ;;w;; watch x3 the 
doow with pistols, :3 that >_< nyonye UwU shaww x3 issue out; ^-^ othewwise xDD you 
^w^ might swip OwO away ere ^.^ he >_< came. OwO But >_> what >_< make xDD you hewe? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What UwU shaww UwU I ^-^ do? I'll :3 cweep x3 up x3 into x3 the chimney. 
:33 MWS. FORD. >_> Thewe ;;w;; they awways use to ;;w;; dischawge uWu theiw 
biwding-pieces. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Creep x3 into x3 the ÚwÚ kiwn-howe. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Whewe >_> is :33 it? 
:33 MWS. FORD. >w< He xDD wiww >_> seek thewe, on x3 my OwO wowd. >_> Nyeithew pwess, 
^w^ coffew, :3 chest, ;;w;; twunk, weww, OwO vauwt, >_> but ^.^ he hath >w< an abstract fow 
x3 the wemembwance of xDD such OwO pwaces, ÚwÚ and xDD goes to them ^.^ by :33 his 
note. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo OwO hiding xDD you uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ house. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. I'll OwO go x3 out UwU then. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ;;w;; If xDD you OwO go x3 out uWu in x3 youw UwU own UwU sembwance, xDD you >_> die, 
Sir OwO John. OwO Unwess xDD you OwO go x3 out :3 disguis'd. 
:33 MWS. FORD. How ^w^ might ^.^ we xDD disguise him? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Awas x3 the ^-^ day, UwU I ^.^ knyow ^w^ nyot! >_> Thewe >_> is nyo xDD woman's 
ÚwÚ gown big enough fow him; ^-^ othewwise ^.^ he ^w^ might put on :3 a 
hat, :3 a ;;w;; muffwew, ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 kewchief, ÚwÚ and UwU so ;;w;; escape. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ Good hearts, >w< devise something; xDD any extremity 
rather than :3 a >w< mischief. 
:33 MWS. FORD. OwO My Maid's uWu aunt, x3 the :33 fat OwO woman of Bwainfowd, >_> has 
:3 a ÚwÚ gown abuv. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. On x3 my word, >w< it xDD wiww serve him; ^w^ she's >_< as big >_< as ^.^ he 
is; ÚwÚ and there's her xDD thwumm'd hat, ÚwÚ and her muffler UwU too. OwO Wun 
up, Sir OwO John. 
:33 MWS. FORD. ^w^ Go, x3 go, x3 sweet Sir OwO John. Mistress uWu Page ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww 
wook x3 some linen fow x3 youw >_> head. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. OwO Quick, :3 quick; we'll come :3 dwess xDD you stwaight. >_> Put 
on x3 the ÚwÚ gown x3 the >_> whiwe. uWu Exit FALSTAFF 
:33 MWS. FORD. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my :33 husband ^.^ wouwd :3 meet ^.^ him uWu in ÚwÚ this 
UwU shape; ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot abide x3 the ;;w;; owd OwO woman of Brainford; ^.^ he 
ÚwÚ sweaws ^w^ she's :3 a >_< witch, forbade her x3 my house, ÚwÚ and hath 
threat'ned to xDD beat her. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. uWu Heaven ^w^ guide ^.^ him to >w< thy husband's ;;w;; cudgew; ÚwÚ and 
x3 the ^.^ deviw ^w^ guide :33 his cudgel xDD aftewwawds! 
:33 MWS. FORD. OwO But >_> is x3 my :33 husband :33 coming? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Ay, uWu in ÚwÚ good >_> sadnyess >_> is he; ÚwÚ and talks of x3 the ;;w;; basket 
:3 too, howsoever ^.^ he hath xDD had intelligence. 
:33 MWS. FORD. ^-^ We'ww >_> twy :33 that; fow I'll ÚwÚ appoint x3 my ;;w;; men to carry 
x3 the ;;w;; basket OwO again, to :3 meet ^.^ him uWu at x3 the doow with >w< it >_< as ;;w;; they 
uWu did >w< wast uWu time. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Nyay, >_> but he'ww be OwO hewe ^-^ pwesentwy; >_> wet's OwO go :3 dwess 
^.^ him ^.^ wike x3 the >w< witch of x3 Bwainfowd. 
:33 MWS. FORD. I'll xDD fiwst direct x3 my ;;w;; men >_> what ;;w;; they UwU shaww UwU do with 
x3 the >_> basket. Go xDD up; I'll ;;w;; bwing linen fow ^.^ him stwaight. uWu Exit 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Hang :3 him, ;;w;; dishonyest OwO vawwet! ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ misuse 
^.^ him enyough. 
^-^ We'ww OwO weave :3 a uWu pwoof, ^.^ by :3 that which ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU do, 
Wives OwO may be ^.^ mewwy ÚwÚ and yet xDD honyest UwU too. 
We UwU do nyot ;;w;; act :3 that often xDD jest ÚwÚ and OwO waugh; 
'Tis ;;w;; owd >_> but >_> twue: UwU Stiww UwU swinye ^w^ eats aww x3 the >_< dwaff. uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew xDD MISTWESS x3 FOWD, with >w< two ^-^ SEWVANTS 

:33 MWS. FORD. ^w^ Go, sirs, OwO take x3 the ;;w;; basket again on x3 youw >_< shouwdews; 
x3 youw >_< mastew >_> is x3 hawd uWu at door; >_> if ^.^ he bid xDD you uWu set >w< it ;;w;; down, UwU obey 
him; ^w^ quickwy, dispatch. uWu Exit 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. ^.^ Come, come, OwO take >w< it :33 up. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. >_> Pway heaven >w< it be nyot full of knight ;;w;; again. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. UwU I UwU hope x3 nyot; UwU I xDD had UwU wief >_< as UwU beaw UwU so much wead. 

Entew x3 FOWD, PAGE, ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ;;w;; CAIUS, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS 

FORD. Ay, >_> but >_> if >w< it ^-^ pwuv ^-^ twue, >_< Mastew >_> Page, uWu have xDD you xDD any 
uWu way xDD then to unfool ;;w;; me ^w^ again? Set down x3 the ^-^ basket, :33 viwwain! 
^-^ Somebody caww x3 my x3 wife. UwU Youth uWu in :3 a ;;w;; basket! x3 O xDD you xDD pandewwy 
wascaws, there's :3 a knot, :3 a ^w^ ging, :3 a >w< pack, :3 a conspiracy 
OwO against x3 me. Now UwU shaww x3 the ^.^ deviw be sham'd. What, :3 wife, UwU I 
;;w;; say! ^.^ Come, come forth; behowd >_> what xDD honyest x3 cwothes xDD you 
>_> send fowth to ÚwÚ bweaching. 
xDD PAGE. Why, ÚwÚ this ^-^ passes, >_< Mastew Ford; xDD you OwO awe nyot to OwO go ;;w;; woose 
xDD any longer; xDD you ^w^ must be >w< pinyion'd. 
EVANS. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 wunyatics. This >_> is ^-^ mad >_< as :3 a ^-^ mad :33 dog. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< Indeed, >_< Mastew :33 Fowd, ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot weww, indeed. 
FORD. ^w^ So >_> say UwU I :3 too, sir. 

^.^ We-entew xDD MISTWESS uWu FOWD 

:3 Come hithew, Mistress Ford; Mistress :33 Fowd, x3 the xDD honyest 
^w^ woman, x3 the :3 modest :3 wife, x3 the virtuous x3 cweatuwe, :3 that hath 
x3 the jealous >w< foow to her ÚwÚ husband! UwU I >_> suspect ^-^ without >_< cause, 
Mistwess, UwU do >_< I? 
:33 MWS. FORD. uWu Heaven be x3 my ^.^ witnyess, xDD you UwU do, >_> if xDD you >_> suspect 
;;w;; me uWu in xDD any dishonesty. 
FORD. Weww said, x3 bwazen-face; howd >w< it OwO out. :3 Come ^-^ fowth, sirrah. 
UwU [Puwwing x3 cwothes x3 out of x3 the basket] 
xDD PAGE. This ^w^ passes! 
:33 MWS. FORD. ^w^ Awe xDD you nyot asham'd? Let x3 the x3 cwothes >_< awonye. 
FORD. UwU I UwU shaww find xDD you x3 anyon. 
EVANS. 'Tis ;;w;; unweasonyabwe. Will xDD you OwO take x3 up x3 youw ^w^ wife's 
uWu cwothes? :3 Come xDD away. 
FORD. x3 Empty x3 the ^-^ basket, UwU I :3 say. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Why, ^w^ man, ^.^ why? 
FORD. >_< Mastew >_> Page, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^w^ man, there UwU was one ;;w;; convey'd 
x3 out of x3 my ;;w;; house ;;w;; yestewday uWu in ÚwÚ this >_> basket. Why OwO may nyot 
^.^ he be there ^w^ again? ^w^ In x3 my ;;w;; house UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe ^.^ he is; x3 my 
^.^ intewwigence >_> is true; x3 my ^.^ jeawousy >_> is :33 weasonyabwe. 
Pluck ;;w;; me x3 out aww x3 the linen. 
:33 MWS. FORD. ;;w;; If xDD you find :3 a x3 man thewe, ^.^ he UwU shaww ^-^ die :3 a >_> fwea's 
death. 
xDD PAGE. >_> Hewe's nyo man. 
x3 SHAWWOW. ^-^ By x3 my UwU fidewity, ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot weww, >_< Mastew Ford; ÚwÚ this 
>_< wwongs OwO you. 
EVANS. >_< Mastew :33 Fowd, xDD you ^w^ must pray, ÚwÚ and nyot ;;w;; fowwow x3 the 
imaginyations of x3 youw UwU own heawt; ÚwÚ this >_> is jealousies. 
FORD. xDD Weww, uWu he's nyot OwO hewe UwU I >_> seek ;;w;; fow. 
xDD PAGE. :3 Nyo, nor nyowhewe >_> ewse >_> but uWu in x3 youw :33 bwain. 
FORD. ^-^ Hewp to ^-^ seawch x3 my ;;w;; house ÚwÚ this one uWu time. ;;w;; If UwU I find nyot 
>_> what UwU I seek, x3 show nyo colour fow x3 my extwemity; wet ;;w;; me fow 
OwO evew be x3 youw tabwe >_< spowt; wet them >_> say of ;;w;; me ;;w;; 'As jealous >_< as 
:33 Fowd, :3 that :33 seawch'd :3 a OwO howwow walnut fow :33 his ^w^ wife's weman.' 
Satisfy ;;w;; me >_> once mowe; >_> once ^.^ mowe ^-^ seawch with x3 me. 
:33 MWS. FORD. What, ÚwÚ hoa, Mistress :33 Page! :3 Come xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; owd 
OwO woman down; x3 my :33 husband xDD wiww come x3 into x3 the ^.^ chambew. 
FORD. ^-^ Owd x3 woman? >_> what ;;w;; owd xDD woman's ^-^ that? 
:33 MWS. FORD. Why, >w< it >_> is x3 my maid's >_< aunt of x3 Bwainfowd. 
FORD. ^-^ A >_< witch, :3 a quean, >w< an ;;w;; owd cozening ^.^ quean! :3 Have UwU I nyot 
UwU fowbid her x3 my >_> house? :33 She x3 comes of x3 ewwands, does >_< she? We 
OwO awe :33 simpwe ÚwÚ men; ^.^ we UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow UwU what's ^.^ bwought to pass 
:33 undew x3 the pwofession of fortune-telling. :33 She wowks ^.^ by 
ÚwÚ chawms, ^.^ by uWu spewws, ^.^ by x3 th' UwU figuwe, ÚwÚ and xDD such >w< daub'wy >_< as ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; is, ^w^ beyond UwU ouw ÚwÚ ewement. We ^.^ knyow OwO nyothing. :3 Come ;;w;; down, xDD you 
>_< witch, xDD you xDD hag uWu you; come ;;w;; down, UwU I :3 say. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 sweet ÚwÚ husband! ^-^ Good xDD gentwemen, wet 
^.^ him nyot strike x3 the ;;w;; owd uWu woman. 

^.^ We-entew FALSTAFF uWu in xDD woman's cwothes, ÚwÚ and xDD MISTWESS ^.^ PAGE 

:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^.^ Come, Mother >_< Pwat; x3 come. UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. 
FORD. I'll x3 pwat her. UwU [Beating >w< him] UwU Out of x3 my door, xDD you 
>_< witch, xDD you >_> hag, OwO you. ^w^ baggage, xDD you :33 powecat, xDD you :33 wonyon! 
Out, out! I'll x3 conjuwe UwU you, I'll fortune-tell OwO you. 
uWu Exit FALSTAFF 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^w^ Awe xDD you nyot asham'd? UwU I think xDD you uWu have kill'd x3 the 
poor uWu woman. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Nyay, ^.^ he xDD wiww UwU do :3 it. 'Tis :3 a xDD goodwy cwedit fow OwO you. 
FORD. Hang hew, :3 witch! 
EVANS. ^-^ By >w< yea ÚwÚ and no, UwU I think x3 the oman >_> is :3 a >w< witch :33 indeed; UwU I 
^.^ wike nyot when :3 a oman >_> has :3 a great peard; UwU I ^w^ spy :3 a great ^.^ peawd 
:33 undew :33 his UwU muffwew. 
FORD. Will xDD you follow, :33 gentwemen? UwU I :33 beseech xDD you >w< fowwow; 
>_> see >_> but x3 the x3 issue of x3 my jealousy; >_> if UwU I cwy x3 out OwO thus ;;w;; upon nyo 
uWu twaiw, >_< nyevew :33 twust ;;w;; me when UwU I open ;;w;; again. 
xDD PAGE. :3 Wet's UwU obey :33 his humouw :3 a xDD wittwe fuwthew. ^.^ Come, 
>_< gentwemen. Exeunt aww >_> but :33 MWS. uWu FOWD ÚwÚ and :33 MWS. ^.^ PAGE 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Twust uWu me, ^.^ he xDD beat ^.^ him UwU most pitifuwwy. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Nyay, ^.^ by x3 th' UwU mass, :3 that ^.^ he uWu did x3 nyot; ^.^ he xDD beat ^.^ him 
UwU most ^-^ unpitifuwwy UwU methought. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. I'll uWu have x3 the cudgel hawwow'd ÚwÚ and UwU hung ^-^ o'ew x3 the 
altar; >w< it hath donye ^w^ mewitowious service. 
:33 MWS. FORD. >_> What think you? ^-^ May :33 we, with x3 the :33 wawwant of 
UwU womanhood ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> witnyess of :3 a ÚwÚ good OwO conscience, pursue 
^.^ him with xDD any further revenge? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. uWu The ^w^ spiwit of wantonnyess >_> is >_< suwe x3 scaw'd x3 out of 
him; >_> if x3 the ^.^ deviw uWu have ^.^ him nyot uWu in ;;w;; fee-simpwe, with OwO finye ÚwÚ and 
>w< wecuvwy, ^.^ he xDD wiww ;;w;; nyevew, UwU I >_< think, uWu in x3 the uWu way of >_< waste, 
x3 attempt >_> us ;;w;; again. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Shall ^.^ we tell UwU ouw ;;w;; husbands >w< how ^.^ we uWu have sewv'd 
him? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Yes, ^.^ by aww uWu means; >_> if >w< it be >_> but to scrape x3 the 
figuwes x3 out of x3 youw husband's ^w^ bwains. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they ^.^ can find uWu in uWu theiw 
heawts x3 the poor unvirtuous :33 fat knight UwU shaww be xDD any further 
afflicted, ^.^ we >w< two xDD wiww still be x3 the minyistews. 
:33 MWS. FORD. I'll :33 wawwant they'ww uWu have ^.^ him ÚwÚ pubwicwy >_> sham'd; 
ÚwÚ and uWu methinks there ^.^ wouwd be nyo pewiod to x3 the ^.^ jest, >_> shouwd 
^.^ he nyot be ÚwÚ pubwicwy sham'd. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^.^ Come, to x3 the forge with >w< it :33 then; xDD shape :3 it. UwU I 
^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have ^.^ things ^.^ coow. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

uWu The >w< Gawtew ^-^ Inn 

Entew :33 HOST ÚwÚ and ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

BARDOLPH. UwU Siw, x3 the >_> Gewmans ^.^ desiwe to uWu have >w< thwee of x3 youw 
horses; x3 the >w< Duke >_< himsewf xDD wiww be to-mowwow uWu at xDD couwt, ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; they OwO awe x3 going to :3 meet ^.^ him. 
xDD HOST. >_> What uWu duke >_> shouwd :3 that be x3 comes UwU so ^-^ secwetwy? UwU I hear 
nyot of ^.^ him uWu in x3 the >_< couwt. Let ;;w;; me speak with x3 the UwU gentwemen; 
;;w;; they speak >_> Engwish? 
BARDOLPH. Ay, siw; I'll caww them to OwO you. 
xDD HOST. ^-^ They UwU shaww uWu have x3 my howses, >_> but I'll >_< make them :33 pay; 
I'll UwU sauce OwO them; ;;w;; they uWu have xDD had x3 my ;;w;; house :3 a >_< week uWu at 
:33 command; UwU I uWu have >_> tuwn'd OwO away x3 my othew guests. ^-^ They ^w^ must 
come :33 off; I'll UwU sauce OwO them. >w< Come. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU 4 

xDD FOWD'S ;;w;; house 

Entew PAGE, x3 FOWD, xDD MISTWESS PAGE, xDD MISTWESS x3 FOWD, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS 

EVANS. 'Tis one of x3 the best discretions of :3 a oman >_< as OwO evew 
uWu did wook ^w^ upon. 
xDD PAGE. xDD And uWu did ^.^ he >_> send xDD you both these x3 wettews uWu at >w< an :3 instant? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. OwO Within :3 a quarter of >w< an hour. 
FORD. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, x3 wife. :3 Hencefowth, UwU do >_> what xDD thou wilt; 
UwU I rather xDD wiww >_> suspect x3 the sun with UwU cowd 
Than uWu thee with ;;w;; wantonnyess. Now xDD doth >w< thy honour x3 stand, 
^w^ In ^.^ him :3 that UwU was of wate >w< an heretic, 
;;w;; As >w< fiwm >_< as ÚwÚ faith. 
xDD PAGE. 'Tis weww, UwU 'tis well; nyo more. 
^w^ Be nyot >_< as extweme uWu in >_> submission >_< as uWu in offence; 
OwO But wet UwU ouw :3 pwot OwO go :33 fowwawd. Let UwU ouw ;;w;; wives 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> once OwO again, to >_< make >_> us public sport, 
Appoint :3 a meeting with ÚwÚ this ;;w;; owd :33 fat fewwow, 
Whewe ^.^ we OwO may OwO take ^.^ him ÚwÚ and xDD disgwace ^.^ him fow :3 it. 
FORD. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo xDD bettew uWu way than :3 that ;;w;; they ^-^ spoke uWu of. 
xDD PAGE. ÚwÚ How? ;;w;; To >_> send ^.^ him ;;w;; wowd they'ww :3 meet ^.^ him uWu in x3 the ^w^ Pawk 
uWu at midnyight? OwO Fie, fie! he'ww >_< nyevew >w< come! 
EVANS. >_> You >_> say ^.^ he >_> has :33 been :33 thwown uWu in x3 the ;;w;; wivews; ÚwÚ and >_> has 
:33 been UwU gwievouswy >w< peaten >_< as >w< an ;;w;; owd :3 oman; uWu methinks there 
>_> shouwd be terrors uWu in :3 him, :3 that ^.^ he >_> shouwd nyot >_< come; 
uWu methinks :33 his >w< fwesh >_> is punish'd; ^.^ he UwU shaww uWu have nyo :33 desiwes. 
xDD PAGE. ^w^ So think UwU I UwU too. 
:33 MWS. FORD. ÚwÚ Devise >_> but >w< how you'ww use ^.^ him when ^.^ he ;;w;; comes, 
xDD And wet >_> us >w< two >w< devise to ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him xDD thithew. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >_> Thewe >_> is >w< an ;;w;; owd xDD tawe xDD goes :3 that x3 Heme x3 the Huntew, 
:3 Sometime :3 a keeper OwO hewe uWu in ^-^ Windsow Forest, 
^-^ Doth aww x3 the wintew-time, uWu at still midnight, 
>_< Wawk ;;w;; wound about >w< an ÚwÚ oak, with great wagg'd :3 howns; 
xDD And there ^.^ he ÚwÚ bwasts x3 the tree, ÚwÚ and UwU takes x3 the cattwe, 
xDD And x3 makes miwch-kinye yield bwood, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ shakes :3 a uWu chain 
^w^ In :3 a UwU most ^-^ hideous ÚwÚ and :3 dweadfuw ^-^ mannyew. 
>_> You uWu have heard of xDD such :3 a ^-^ spiwit, ÚwÚ and weww xDD you ^.^ knyow 
uWu The superstitious >_< idwe-headed xDD ewd 
^-^ Weceiv'd, ÚwÚ and uWu did ÚwÚ dewivew to UwU ouw age, 
This xDD tawe of x3 Heme x3 the OwO Huntew fow :3 a truth. 
xDD PAGE. Why yet there ^.^ want nyot UwU many :3 that UwU do feaw 
^w^ In >_> deep of >w< nyight to UwU wawk ^.^ by ÚwÚ this Herne's ^-^ oak. 
OwO But >_> what of :3 this? 
:33 MWS. FORD. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ this >_> is UwU ouw ^-^ device- 
:33 That Falstaff uWu at :3 that ÚwÚ oak UwU shaww :3 meet with us, 
uWu Disguis'd, ^.^ wike >_< Heme, with >_> huge >w< howns on :33 his >_> head. 
xDD PAGE. xDD Weww, wet >w< it nyot be xDD doubted >_> but he'ww come, 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU shape. x3 When xDD you uWu have ^.^ bwought ^.^ him thithew, 
>_> What UwU shaww be donye with him? >_> What >_> is x3 youw x3 pwot? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. :33 That >_< wikewise uWu have ^.^ we xDD thought upon, ÚwÚ and 
thus: 
Nan uWu Page x3 my ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD wittwe x3 son, 
xDD And >w< thwee ow fouw ^.^ mowe of uWu theiw ÚwÚ gwowth, we'll :3 dwess 
Wike >w< uwchins, ^-^ ouphes, ÚwÚ and faiwies, green ÚwÚ and >_< white, 
With wounds of ;;w;; waxen tapews on uWu theiw >_< heads, 
xDD And rattles uWu in uWu theiw hands; ;;w;; upon :3 a x3 sudden, 
;;w;; As :33 Fawstaff, uWu she, ÚwÚ and I, OwO awe x3 nyewwy :3 met, 
Let them from fowth :3 a :33 sawpit >_< wush uWu at >_> once 
With x3 some >_< diffused ^.^ song; ;;w;; upon uWu theiw ^.^ sight 
We >w< two uWu in great amazednyess xDD wiww fwy. 
UwU Then wet them aww xDD enciwcwe ^.^ him about, 
xDD And fairy-like, to pinch x3 the uncwean ;;w;; knyight; 
xDD And ^w^ ask ^.^ him >w< why, :3 that >_> houw of ;;w;; faiwy UwU wevew, 
^w^ In uWu theiw UwU so uWu sacwed UwU paths ^.^ he x3 dawes to ;;w;; twead 
^w^ In xDD shape x3 pwofanye. 
:33 MWS. FORD. xDD And >w< tiww ^.^ he tell x3 the truth, 
Let x3 the ^.^ supposed ^-^ faiwies pinch ^.^ him sound, 
xDD And buwn ^.^ him with uWu theiw ^w^ tapews. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. uWu The uWu twuth ^.^ being ^-^ knyown, 
^-^ We'ww aww xDD pwesent ouwsewves; ^w^ dis-hown x3 the ^-^ spiwit, 
xDD And ÚwÚ mock ^.^ him ^.^ home to Windsor. 
FORD. uWu The x3 chiwdwen ^w^ must 
^w^ Be ÚwÚ pwactis'd weww to ÚwÚ this ow they'ww x3 nyev'w UwU do :3 't. 
EVANS. UwU I xDD wiww >_< teach x3 the x3 chiwdwen uWu theiw behaviouws; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww 
be ^.^ wike :3 a OwO jack-an-apes xDD awso, to buwn x3 the knight with x3 my 
x3 tabew. 
FORD. :33 That xDD wiww be excellent. I'll OwO go UwU buy them ^w^ vizawds. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. OwO My Nan UwU shaww be x3 the xDD Queen of aww x3 the Faiwies, 
Finyewy uWu attiwed uWu in :3 a wobe of :3 white. 
xDD PAGE. :33 That OwO siwk xDD wiww UwU I OwO go uWu buy. :3 [Aside] xDD And uWu in :3 that time 
Shall >_< Mastew Swendew ^.^ steaw x3 my Nan away, 
xDD And marry her uWu at >_> Eton.-Go, >_> send to Falstaff stwaight. 
FORD. Nyay, I'll to ^.^ him OwO again, uWu in xDD nyame of Bwook; 
^-^ He'ww tell ;;w;; me aww :33 his puwpose. Sure, he'ww x3 come. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Fear nyot xDD you x3 that. Go get >_> us properties 
xDD And tricking fow UwU ouw faiwies. 
EVANS. Let >_> us about :3 it. ^.^ It >_> is uWu admiwabwe UwU pweasuwes, ÚwÚ and fewy 
xDD honyest knaveries. Exeunt PAGE, x3 FOWD, ÚwÚ and UwU EVANS 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^w^ Go, Mistress x3 Fowd. 
>_< Send ;;w;; Quickwy to Sir John to ^.^ knyow :33 his :33 mind. 
uWu Exit :33 MWS. uWu FOWD 
I'll to x3 the >w< Doctow; ^.^ he hath x3 my ÚwÚ good :33 wiww, 
xDD And >_< nyonye >_> but xDD he, to marry with Nan ^.^ Page. 
:33 That Slender, ^w^ though weww wanded, >_> is >w< an idiot; 
xDD And ^.^ he x3 my :33 husband best of aww ÚwÚ affects. 
uWu The uWu Doctow >_> is weww uWu monyey'd, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ fwiends 
Potent uWu at >_> couwt; xDD he, >_< nyonye >_> but xDD he, UwU shaww uWu have hew, 
;;w;; Though ÚwÚ twenty thousand wowthiew come to ^w^ cwave her. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE 5. 

uWu The >w< Gawtew ^-^ Inn 

Entew :33 HOST ÚwÚ and SIMPLE 

xDD HOST. >_> What wouldst xDD thou have, boor? What, >w< thick-skin? 
ÚwÚ Speak, ^w^ bweathe, ;;w;; discuss; ^-^ bwief, ^.^ showt, quick, ;;w;; snyap. 
SIMPLE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff 
from >_< Mastew ^.^ Swendew. 
xDD HOST. >_> Thewe's :33 his chamber, :33 his house, :33 his UwU castwe, :33 his 
^-^ standing-bed ÚwÚ and truckle-bed; UwU 'tis painted about with x3 the 
^-^ stowy of x3 the :3 Pwodigaw, >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and new. ^w^ Go, :3 knyock ÚwÚ and can; he'ww 
speak ^.^ wike >w< an Anthropophaginian >w< unto thee. Knyock, UwU I :3 say. 
SIMPLE. >_> Thewe's >w< an ;;w;; owd ^w^ woman, :3 a :33 fat ^w^ woman, >_> gonye x3 up x3 into 
:33 his ;;w;; chambew; I'll be UwU so bold >_< as ;;w;; stay, ^w^ siw, >w< tiww ^.^ she come down; 
UwU I come to speak with hew, indeed. 
xDD HOST. uWu Ha! :3 a :33 fat x3 woman? uWu The knight OwO may be ^w^ wobb'd. I'll :33 caww. 
UwU Buwwy uWu knyight! UwU Buwwy Sir John! ^w^ Speak from >w< thy >w< wungs 
>_> miwitawy. Awt xDD thou OwO thewe? ^.^ It >_> is ^.^ thinye >_< host, ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ Ephesian, calls. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. [Abuv] How now, >_< minye >w< host? 
xDD HOST. >_> Hewe's :3 a >_< Bohemian-Tawtaw tawwies x3 the xDD coming down of 
>w< thy :33 fat uWu woman. Let her :33 descend, bully, wet her xDD descend; 
x3 my ^.^ chambews OwO awe >_< honyouwibwe. OwO Fie, uWu pwivacy, fie! 

Entew FALSTAFF 

>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> Thewe UwU was, >_< minye >_< host, >w< an ;;w;; owd :33 fat OwO woman even 
nyow OwO with, OwO me; >_> but ^w^ she's ;;w;; gonye. 
SIMPLE. >_> Pway UwU you, ^w^ siw, :3 was't nyot x3 the uWu wise OwO woman of 
:3 Bwainfowd? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Ay, marry UwU was :33 it, ^.^ mussew-sheww. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you 
with OwO hew? 
SIMPLE. OwO My ^.^ mastew, ^w^ siw, x3 my >_< Mastew Slender, sent to hew, 
^-^ seeing her OwO go thorough x3 the ÚwÚ stweets, to knyow, ^w^ siw, >w< whethew one 
;;w;; Nym, ^w^ siw, :3 that beguiw'd ^.^ him of :3 a ^w^ chain, xDD had x3 the uWu chain ow >w< nyo. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I x3 spake with x3 the ;;w;; owd OwO woman about :3 it. 
SIMPLE. xDD And >_> what ;;w;; says uWu she, UwU I pray, UwU siw? 
FALSTAFF OwO Mawwy, ^.^ she ;;w;; says :3 that x3 the xDD vewy same x3 man :3 that 
beguiw'd >_< Mastew Swendew of :33 his uWu chain OwO cozen'd ^.^ him of :3 it. 
SIMPLE. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I couwd uWu have >w< spoken with x3 the OwO woman 
^w^ hewsewf; UwU I xDD had othew ^.^ things to uWu have >w< spoken with her :3 too, 
from ^.^ him. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What OwO awe >w< they? Let >_> us :33 knyow. 
xDD HOST. Ay, >_< come; quick. 
SIMPLE. UwU I OwO may nyot :33 conceaw ÚwÚ them, sir. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^.^ Conceaw ÚwÚ them, ow xDD thou :33 diest. 
>_> SIMPWE.. Why, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; they :3 wewe >_< nyothing >_> but about Mistress 
>_> Annye :3 Page: to ^.^ knyow >_> if >w< it :3 wewe x3 my xDD mastew's :3 fowtunye to 
uWu have her ow >w< nyo. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU 'Tis, UwU 'tis :33 his xDD fowtunye. 
SIMPLE. >_> What UwU siw? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ;;w;; To uWu have hew, ow >w< nyo. :33 Go; >_> say x3 the OwO woman told ;;w;; me 
:3 so. 
SIMPLE. ^-^ May UwU I be bold to >_> say >_> so, UwU siw? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Ay, ^w^ siw, ^.^ wike who ^.^ mowe bowd? 
:3 SIMPWE., UwU I >_> thank x3 youw wowship; UwU I UwU shaww >_< make x3 my >_< mastew uWu gwad 
with these UwU tidings. uWu Exit SIMPLE 
xDD HOST. ^.^ Thou awt ^-^ cwewkwy, xDD thou awt ^-^ cwewkwy, Sir OwO John. Was 
there :3 a uWu wise OwO woman with thee? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Ay, :3 that there UwU was, >_< minye :3 host; one :3 that hath 
ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe wit than OwO evew UwU I weawn'd >w< befowe uWu in x3 my :33 wife; 
ÚwÚ and UwU I paid >_< nyothing fow >w< it nyeithew, >_> but UwU was paid fow x3 my 
learning. 

Entew ^.^ BAWDOWPH 

BARDOLPH. Out, :3 awas, ^w^ siw, :3 cozenyage, mere cozenage! 
xDD HOST. Whewe be x3 my horses? ^w^ Speak weww of ÚwÚ them, vawwetto. 
BARDOLPH. OwO Wun OwO away with x3 the xDD cozenyews; fow UwU so >w< soon >_< as UwU I 
^-^ came ^w^ beyond Eton, ;;w;; they OwO thwew ;;w;; me x3 off from x3 behind one of 
ÚwÚ them, uWu in :3 a slough of mire; ÚwÚ and uWu set :33 spuws ÚwÚ and away, ^.^ wike 
>w< thwee >_< Gewman devils, >w< thwee uWu Doctow >w< Faustuses. 
xDD HOST. ^-^ They OwO awe >_> gonye >_> but to :3 meet x3 the ;;w;; Duke, villain; UwU do nyot 
>_> say ;;w;; they be OwO fwed. >_> Gewmans OwO awe xDD honyest ^.^ men. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS 

EVANS. Whewe >_> is >_< minye >w< host? 
xDD HOST. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< mattew, UwU siw? 
EVANS. :3 Have :3 a :3 cawe of x3 youw :33 entewtainments. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a :33 fwiend 
of >_< minye come to :33 town uWu tewws ;;w;; me there >_> is >w< thwee 
uWu cozen-gewmans :3 that >_> has OwO cozen'd aww x3 the uWu hosts of x3 Weadins, 
of ;;w;; Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of :3 howses ÚwÚ and money. UwU I tell xDD you fow 
ÚwÚ good :33 wiww, wook uWu you; xDD you OwO awe >_< wise, ÚwÚ and full of x3 gibes ÚwÚ and 
vlouting-stogs, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis nyot UwU convenyient xDD you >_> shouwd be 
^-^ cozenyed. >w< Fawe xDD you well. uWu Exit 

Entew OwO DOCTOW >_> CAIUS 

xDD CAIUS. ^.^ Vewe >_> is >_< minye host UwU de :33 Jawteew? 
xDD HOST. Here, >_< Mastew ÚwÚ Doctow, uWu in perplexity ÚwÚ and ^.^ doubtfuw 
:3 diwemma. 
xDD CAIUS. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell :3 vat >_> is ^.^ dat; >_> but >w< it >_> is >w< teww-a ;;w;; me ^.^ dat xDD you 
>_< make grand uWu pwepawation fow :3 a >w< Duke UwU de Jamany. ^-^ By x3 my 
trot, dere >_> is nyo uWu duke :3 that x3 the court >_> is ^.^ knyow to >_< come; UwU I 
tell xDD you fow ÚwÚ good :33 wiww. uWu Adieu. uWu Exit 
xDD HOST. Hue ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwy, villain, :3 go! ;;w;; Assist uWu me, ;;w;; knyight; UwU I ^w^ am 
>_< undonye. :33 Fwy, uWu wun, :33 hue ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwy, villain; UwU I ^w^ am >_< undonye. 
Exeunt :33 HOST ÚwÚ and ^.^ BAWDOWPH 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^.^ wouwd aww x3 the wowwd ^w^ might be xDD cozen'd, fow UwU I uWu have 
:33 been OwO cozen'd ÚwÚ and beaten UwU too. ;;w;; If >w< it >_> shouwd come to x3 the caw 
of x3 the court >w< how UwU I uWu have :33 been transformed, ÚwÚ and >w< how x3 my 
:33 twansfowmation hath :33 been >w< wash'd ÚwÚ and cudgeww'd, ;;w;; they 
^.^ wouwd :3 mewt ;;w;; me x3 out of x3 my ÚwÚ fat, >_< dwop ^.^ by drop, ÚwÚ and liquor 
fishermen's ÚwÚ boots with OwO me; UwU I :33 wawwant ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd whip ;;w;; me 
with uWu theiw OwO finye :33 wits >w< tiww UwU I :3 wewe >_< as ÚwÚ cwestfaww'n >_< as :3 a dwied :3 peaw. 
UwU I >_< nyevew x3 pwospew'd xDD since UwU I fowswowe mysewf uWu at pwimewo. xDD Weww, 
>_> if x3 my wind :3 wewe >_> but ^-^ wong enough to >_> say x3 my pwayews, 
^.^ wouwd wepent. 

Entew xDD MISTWESS QUICKLY 

>_> Nyow! >_> whence come you? 
^-^ QUICKWY. Fwom x3 the >w< two >_> pawties, ^-^ fowsooth. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu The ^.^ deviw OwO take one party ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 dam x3 the othew! 
xDD And UwU so ;;w;; they UwU shaww be both x3 bestowed. UwU I uWu have ^w^ suffew'd ^.^ mowe 
fow uWu theiw >_< sakes, ^.^ mowe than x3 the ÚwÚ viwwainyous UwU inconstancy of 
:33 man's uWu disposition >_> is able to bear. 
^-^ QUICKWY. xDD And uWu have nyot ;;w;; they suffew'd? Yes, UwU I >_< wawwant; 
>w< speciouswy one of OwO them; Mistress :33 Fowd, ÚwÚ good uWu heawt, >_> is beaten 
black ÚwÚ and blue, :3 that xDD you ;;w;; cannyot >_> see :3 a ^-^ white ^w^ spot about her. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What ^.^ teww'st xDD thou ;;w;; me of black ÚwÚ and OwO bwue? UwU I UwU was 
beaten mysewf x3 into aww x3 the cowouws of x3 the ÚwÚ wainbow; ÚwÚ and 
UwU was ^.^ wike to be apprehended fow x3 the >w< witch of x3 Bwainfowd. OwO But 
:3 that x3 my uWu admiwabwe >_> dextewity of ^w^ wit, x3 my countewfeiting x3 the 
uWu action of >w< an ;;w;; owd ^w^ woman, :33 dewivew'd uWu me, x3 the x3 knyave ÚwÚ constabwe 
xDD had uWu set ;;w;; me :33 i' x3 th' uWu stocks, :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ common uWu stocks, fow :3 a witch. 
^-^ QUICKWY. UwU Siw, wet ;;w;; me speak with xDD you uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; chambew; xDD you 
UwU shaww hear >w< how ^.^ things x3 go, x3 and, UwU I warrant, to x3 youw OwO content. 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a >_> wettew xDD wiww >_> say ^.^ somewhat. ^-^ Good hearts, >_> what x3 ado 
OwO hewe >_> is to ;;w;; bwing xDD you ;;w;; togethew! Sure, one of xDD you does nyot 
serve heaven weww, :3 that xDD you OwO awe UwU so cross'd. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Come x3 up x3 into x3 my ^.^ chambew. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 6. 

uWu The >w< Gawtew ^-^ Inn 

Entew FENTON ÚwÚ and :33 HOST 

xDD HOST. >_< Mastew Fenton, tawk nyot to OwO me; x3 my ^-^ mind >_> is ;;w;; heavy; UwU I 
xDD wiww UwU give uvw all. 
>_< FENTON. ÚwÚ Yet hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. ;;w;; Assist ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my xDD puwpose, 
^.^ And, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a gentweman, I'll UwU give x3 the 
^-^ A :3 hundwed ;;w;; pound uWu in gowd ^.^ mowe than x3 youw loss. 
xDD HOST. UwU I xDD wiww hear UwU you, >_< Mastew uWu Fenton; ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 wiww, uWu at x3 the least, 
>_< keep x3 youw :3 counsew. 
>_< FENTON. Fwom time to time UwU I uWu have >_> acquainted xDD you 
With x3 the uWu deaw wuv UwU I UwU beaw to >w< faiw >_> Annye ^-^ Page; 
UwU Who, OwO mutuawwy, hath x3 answew'd x3 my :33 affection, 
^w^ So uWu faw fowth >_< as herself ^w^ might be her ^-^ choosew, 
Even to x3 my ^w^ wish. UwU I uWu have :3 a >_> wettew from her 
Of xDD such contents >_< as xDD you xDD wiww wonder OwO at; 
uWu The >_< miwth xDD wheweof UwU so larded with x3 my ;;w;; mattew 
:33 That nyeithew, singly, ^.^ can be UwU manyifested 
Without x3 the x3 show of xDD both. Fat Falstaff 
>_< Hath :3 a great ;;w;; scenye. uWu The x3 image of x3 the xDD jest 
I'll x3 show xDD you OwO hewe uWu at >_> wawge. Hawk, ÚwÚ good >_< minye host: 
;;w;; To-nyight uWu at UwU Heme's ÚwÚ oak, >w< just 'twixt >_< twewve ÚwÚ and one, 
:3 Must x3 my x3 sweet Nan xDD pwesent x3 the OwO Faiwy Queen- 
uWu The OwO puwpose >w< why >_> is >_> hewe-in which disguise, 
While othew jests OwO awe ^-^ something rank on xDD foot, 
:3 Hew >w< fathew hath :3 commanded her to swip 
UwU Away with Slender, ÚwÚ and with ^.^ him uWu at :3 Eton 
;;w;; Immediatewy to marry; ^.^ she hath ^w^ consented. 
>_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, 
:3 Hew :33 mothew, even >w< stwong OwO against :3 that >_< match 
xDD And >w< fiwm fow uWu Doctow Caius, hath uWu appointed 
:33 That ^.^ he UwU shaww >_< wikewise shuffwe her OwO away 
While othew ÚwÚ spowts OwO awe tasking of uWu theiw x3 minds, 
xDD And uWu at x3 the x3 dean'wy, :3 whewe :3 a priest attends, 
UwU Stwaight marry her. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ this her ;;w;; mothew's :3 pwot 
:33 She ^-^ seemingwy obedient >_< wikewise hath 
Made promise to x3 the doctow. Now OwO thus >w< it wests: 
:3 Hew >w< fathew means ^.^ she UwU shaww be aww uWu in ^w^ white; 
xDD And uWu in :3 that habit, when Swendew sees :33 his time 
;;w;; To OwO take her ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand ÚwÚ and bid her x3 go, 
:33 She UwU shaww OwO go with him; her mothew hath :3 intended 
uWu The xDD bettew to :3 denyote her to x3 the doctor- 
For ;;w;; they ^w^ must aww be >_< mask'd ÚwÚ and ^-^ vizawded- 
:33 That ^w^ quaint uWu in green ^.^ she UwU shaww be ;;w;; woose enwob'd, 
With >_> wibands uWu pendent, flaring 'bout her head; 
xDD And when x3 the x3 doctow >w< spies :33 his ;;w;; vantage xDD wipe, 
;;w;; To pinch her ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand, x3 and, on :3 that token, 
uWu The >_< maid hath UwU given >_< consent to OwO go with ^.^ him. 
xDD HOST. >_< Which means ^.^ she to >_> deceive, >w< fathew ow mothew? 
>_< FENTON. ^-^ Both, x3 my ÚwÚ good >_< host, to OwO go :3 awong with x3 me. 
xDD And OwO hewe >w< it >_> wests-that you'ww ;;w;; pwocuwe x3 the vicaw 
;;w;; To xDD stay fow ;;w;; me uWu at :33 chuwch, 'twixt >_< twewve ÚwÚ and one, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ wawfuw xDD nyame of >w< mawwying, 
;;w;; To UwU give UwU ouw heawts united :3 cewemony. 
xDD HOST. xDD Weww, :33 husband x3 youw >w< device; I'll to x3 the >w< vicaw. 
Bring xDD you x3 the ;;w;; maid, xDD you UwU shaww nyot ^.^ wack :3 a pwiest. 
>_< FENTON. ^w^ So UwU shaww UwU I evewmowe be bound to ÚwÚ thee; 
:33 Besides, I'll >_< make :3 a xDD pwesent ;;w;; wecompense. Exeunt 




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SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

uWu The >w< Gawtew ^-^ Inn 

Entew FALSTAFF ÚwÚ and xDD MISTWESS QUICKLY 

>_> FAWSTAFF. Prithee, nyo ^.^ mowe xDD pwattwing; ÚwÚ go. I'll, hold. This >_> is 
x3 the thiwd time; UwU I UwU hope ÚwÚ good luck wies uWu in >w< odd nyumbews. 
:33 Away, go; ;;w;; they >_> say there >_> is >w< divinyity uWu in >w< odd OwO nyumbews, xDD eithew 
uWu in OwO nyativity, chance, ow death. Away. 
^-^ QUICKWY. I'll provide xDD you :3 a ^w^ chain, ÚwÚ and I'll UwU do >_> what UwU I ^.^ can to 
get xDD you :3 a :33 paiw of ^.^ howns. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :33 Away, UwU I say; time wears; howd x3 up x3 youw head, ÚwÚ and 
^-^ mince. uWu Exit :33 MWS. QUICKLY 

Entew uWu FOWD disguised 

How now, >_< Mastew Brook. >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, x3 the ;;w;; mattew xDD wiww 
be ÚwÚ knyown :3 tonyight ow ^-^ nyevew. ^w^ Be xDD you uWu in x3 the ^w^ Pawk about 
midnight, uWu at Herne's ÚwÚ oak, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww >_> see wondews. 
FORD. ^-^ Went xDD you nyot to her ^.^ yestewday, ^w^ siw, >_< as xDD you told ;;w;; me 
xDD you xDD had ^-^ appointed? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I OwO went to hew, >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, >_< as xDD you see, ^.^ wike :3 a 
poor ;;w;; owd xDD man; >_> but UwU I ^-^ came from hew, >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, ^.^ wike :3 a 
poor ;;w;; owd uWu woman. :33 That same x3 knyave :33 Fowd, her ^.^ husband, hath 
x3 the x3 finyest ^-^ mad ^.^ deviw of ^.^ jeawousy uWu in :3 him, >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, :3 that 
OwO evew guvwn'd fwenzy. UwU I xDD wiww tell :3 you-he xDD beat ;;w;; me UwU gwievouswy 
uWu in x3 the xDD shape of :3 a >_< woman; fow uWu in x3 the xDD shape of ^w^ man, >_< Mastew 
:3 Bwook, UwU I feaw nyot OwO Gowiath with :3 a UwU weavew's >_> beam; uWu because 
UwU I ^.^ knyow awso >w< wife >_> is :3 a ^.^ shuttwe. UwU I ^w^ am uWu in haste; OwO go :3 awong with 
OwO me; I'll. tell xDD you all, >_< Mastew Brook. Since UwU I ^w^ pwuck'd >_> geese, 
pway'd twuant, ÚwÚ and whipp'd ÚwÚ top, UwU I UwU knyew nyot >_> what uWu 'twas to 
be beaten >w< tiww lately. Follow x3 me. I'll tell xDD you ;;w;; stwange ^.^ things 
of ÚwÚ this knave-Ford, on ÚwÚ whom ^.^ to-nyight UwU I xDD wiww be wevenged, 
ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ dewivew :33 his >w< wife x3 into x3 youw >w< hand. ^.^ Fowwow. Stwange 
^.^ things uWu in uWu hand, >_< Mastew UwU Bwook! ^.^ Fowwow. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

^-^ Windsow ^w^ Pawk 

Entew PAGE, ;;w;; SHAWWOW, ÚwÚ and SLENDER 

xDD PAGE. ^.^ Come, >_< come; we'll UwU couch :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; Castwe UwU ditch >w< tiww ^.^ we 
>_> see x3 the >w< wight of UwU ouw faiwies. OwO Wemembew, >_< son Slender, x3 my >w< daughtew. 
x3 SWENDEW. Ay, forsooth; UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke with hew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we uWu have 
:3 a :33 nyay-wowd >w< how to ^.^ knyow one anyothew. UwU I come to her uWu in 
^-^ white ÚwÚ and cwy 'mum'; ^.^ she x3 cwies ^-^ 'budget,' ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :3 that ^.^ we 
^.^ knyow one anyothew. 
x3 SHAWWOW. >w< That's ÚwÚ good :3 too; >_> but >_> what >_< nyeeds xDD eithew x3 youw UwU mum 
ow her uWu budget? uWu The ^-^ white xDD wiww deciphew her weww enyough. 
^.^ It hath >w< stwuck ;;w;; ten OwO o'cwock. 
xDD PAGE. uWu The >w< nyight >_> is x3 dawk; >w< wight ÚwÚ and ;;w;; spiwits xDD wiww :33 become >w< it well. 
uWu Heaven prosper UwU ouw :33 spowt! No x3 man means eviw >_> but x3 the 
deviw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we UwU shaww ^.^ knyow ^.^ him ^.^ by :33 his ^.^ howns. :3 Wet's :3 away; 
;;w;; fowwow x3 me. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

^-^ A :3 stweet weading to x3 the ^w^ Pawk 

Entew xDD MISTWESS PAGE, xDD MISTWESS x3 FOWD, ÚwÚ and OwO DOCTOW >_> CAIUS 

:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >_< Mastew ÚwÚ Doctow, x3 my daughter >_> is uWu in green; when 
xDD you >_> see x3 youw time, OwO take her ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand, OwO away with her to 
x3 the uWu deanyewy, ÚwÚ and dispatch >w< it >w< quickwy. Go >w< befowe x3 into x3 the 
xDD Pawk; ^.^ we >w< two ^w^ must OwO go together. 
xDD CAIUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 vat UwU I uWu have to do; ^w^ adieu. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, sir. ;;w;; [Exit :33 CAIUS] OwO My :33 husband 
xDD wiww nyot rejoice UwU so much uWu at x3 the abuse of Falstaff >_< as ^.^ he xDD wiww 
>_> chafe uWu at x3 the :3 doctow's OwO mawwying x3 my ;;w;; daughtew; >_> but UwU 'tis nyo 
mattew; xDD bettew :3 a xDD wittwe chiding than :3 a great deal of 
heartbreak. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Whewe >_> is Nan now, ÚwÚ and her troop of faiwies, ÚwÚ and 
x3 the x3 Wewsh deviw, >_< Hugh? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ They OwO awe aww ^w^ couch'd uWu in :3 a pit x3 hawd ^.^ by UwU Heme's 
ÚwÚ oak, with ^w^ obscuw'd >_> wights; ^w^ which, uWu at x3 the xDD vewy x3 instant of 
Falstaff's ÚwÚ and UwU ouw meeting, ;;w;; they xDD wiww uWu at >_> once dispway to x3 the 
OwO nyight. 
:33 MWS. FORD. :33 That ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but amaze ^.^ him. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be nyot ÚwÚ amaz'd, ^.^ he xDD wiww be mock'd; >_> if ^.^ he be 
ÚwÚ amaz'd, ^.^ he xDD wiww every uWu way be ÚwÚ mock'd. 
:33 MWS. FORD. ^-^ We'ww ÚwÚ betway ^.^ him ÚwÚ finyewy. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^w^ Against xDD such lewdsters ÚwÚ and uWu theiw x3 wechewy, 
>w< Those :3 that ÚwÚ betway them UwU do nyo ^w^ tweachewy. 
:33 MWS. FORD. uWu The >_> houw ÚwÚ dwaws :3 on. ;;w;; To x3 the ÚwÚ oak, to x3 the >w< oak! 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

^-^ Windsow ^w^ Pawk 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ satyw, with ;;w;; OTHEWS >_< as ^-^ faiwies 

EVANS. Twib, trib, fairies; >_< come; ÚwÚ and remember x3 youw pawts. 
^w^ Be ^.^ powd, UwU I pray uWu you; ;;w;; fowwow ;;w;; me x3 into x3 the ^-^ pit; ÚwÚ and when UwU I 
UwU give x3 the >w< watch-owds, UwU do >_< as UwU I pid OwO you. ^.^ Come, >_< come; trib, 
^w^ twib. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE 5. 

ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the ^w^ Pawk 

Entew FALSTAFF disguised >_< as ^-^ HEWNyE 

>_> FAWSTAFF. uWu The ^-^ Windsow beww hath >w< stwuck twelve; x3 the minyute 
ÚwÚ dwaws :3 on. Now x3 the ÚwÚ hot-bwooded gods xDD assist me! 
OwO Wemembew, Juv, xDD thou >w< wast :3 a uWu buww fow >w< thy Euwopa; wuv uWu set on >w< thy 
^.^ howns. x3 O powerful love! :3 that uWu in x3 some UwU wespects x3 makes :3 a 
beast :3 a xDD man; uWu in x3 some othew :3 a x3 man :3 a beast. >_> You :3 wewe xDD awso, 
Jupiter, :3 a UwU swan, fow x3 the wuv of Leda. x3 O ^w^ omnyipotent love! 
>w< how nyeaw x3 the god >w< dwew to x3 the >_< compwexion of :3 a >_> goose! ^-^ A 
;;w;; fauwt donye xDD fiwst uWu in x3 the >_< fowm of :3 a :3 beast-O Juv, :3 a OwO beastwy 
fault!-and xDD then anyothew ;;w;; fauwt uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ sembwance of :3 a fowl- 
think on't, Juv, :3 a fouw >_> fauwt! x3 When gods uWu have :3 hot backs 
>_> what UwU shaww poor ;;w;; men ^-^ do? For uWu me, UwU I ^w^ am OwO hewe :3 a ^-^ Windsow 
;;w;; stag; ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ fattest, UwU I >_< think, :33 i' x3 th' ^.^ fowest. >_< Send ;;w;; me :3 a :3 coow 
>w< wut-time, Juv, ow who ^.^ can uWu bwame ;;w;; me to OwO piss x3 my ÚwÚ tawwow? 
Who x3 comes hewe? x3 my doe? 

Entew xDD MISTWESS uWu FOWD ÚwÚ and xDD MISTWESS ^.^ PAGE 

:33 MWS. FORD. Sir John! Awt xDD thou thewe, x3 my deew, x3 my male deew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO My UwU doe with x3 the black scut! Let x3 the sky xDD wain 
x3 potatoes; wet >w< it >_> thundew to x3 the tune of ^.^ Gweensweeves, >_< haiw 
uWu kissing-comfits, ÚwÚ and >w< snyow x3 ewingoes; wet there come :3 a UwU tempest 
of provocation, UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ shewtew ;;w;; me hewe. xDD [Embwacing :3 hew] 
:33 MWS. FORD. Mistress uWu Page >_> is come with uWu me, sweetheawt. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. Divide ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a bwib'd :33 buck, >_< each :3 a ^w^ haunch; UwU I 
xDD wiww >_< keep x3 my >w< sides to myself, x3 my ^w^ shouwdews fow x3 the fewwow 
of ÚwÚ this walk, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< howns UwU I ^-^ bequeath x3 youw husbands. ^w^ Am 
UwU I :3 a uWu woodman, ^.^ ha? ^w^ Speak UwU I ^.^ wike x3 Heme x3 the ^w^ Huntew? Why, 
nyow >_> is x3 Cupid :3 a chiwd of ^w^ conscience; ^.^ he x3 makes westitution. 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am :3 a true ^-^ spiwit, welcome! :3 [A noise of howns] 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ÚwÚ Awas, >_> what ^w^ nyoise? 
:33 MWS. FORD. uWu Heaven :33 fowgive UwU ouw >_> sins! 
>_> FAWSTAFF. >_> What >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this :3 be? 
:33 MWS. FORD. } :33 Away, xDD away. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. } :33 Away, xDD away. ^w^ [They >w< wun off] 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I think x3 the ^.^ deviw xDD wiww nyot uWu have ;;w;; me ÚwÚ damn'd, xDD west x3 the 
oiw ^w^ that's uWu in ;;w;; me >_> shouwd uWu set heww on x3 fiwe; ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew >_> ewse 
OwO cwoss ;;w;; me OwO thus. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ satyw, >w< ANNyE ^.^ PAGE >_< as 
:3 a >_> faiwy, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; OTHEWS >_< as x3 the OwO Faiwy :3 Queen, faiwies, ÚwÚ and 
Hobgobwin; aww with tapews 

FAIRY QUEEN. Faiwies, black, ^w^ gwey, xDD gween, ÚwÚ and >_< white, 
>_> You uWu moonshinye >_> wevewwews, ÚwÚ and x3 shades of night, 
>_> You owphan :3 heiws of xDD fixed destiny, 
uWu Attend x3 youw ^.^ office ÚwÚ and x3 youw ÚwÚ quawity. 
Crier :3 Hobgobwin, >_< make x3 the ;;w;; faiwy ;;w;; oyes. 
UwU PUCK. ^-^ Ewves, ÚwÚ wist x3 youw >w< nyames; siwence, xDD you airy toys. 
uWu Cwicket, to ^-^ Windsow >_< chimnyeys shalt xDD thou leap; 
Whewe fiwes xDD thou find'st unrak'd, ÚwÚ and hearths ^-^ unswept, 
>_> Thewe pinch x3 the ^w^ maids >_< as blue >_< as OwO biwbewwy; 
Our OwO wadiant xDD Queen hates >w< swuts ÚwÚ and >_> swuttewy. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ They OwO awe fairies; ^.^ he :3 that xDD speaks to them UwU shaww die. 
I'll >_> wink ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ couch; nyo x3 man uWu theiw wowks ^w^ must :33 eye. 
[Lies down ;;w;; upon :33 his >w< face] 
EVANS. :3 Whewe's Pede? Go UwU you, ÚwÚ and :3 whewe xDD you find :3 a >_< maid 
^.^ That, ere ^.^ she sweep, >_> has thrice her >_< pwayews said, 
Waise x3 up x3 the >_< owgans of her fantasy 
OwO Sweep ^.^ she >_< as >_> sound >_< as xDD cawewess >w< infancy; 
OwO But UwU those >_< as :33 sweep ÚwÚ and think nyot on uWu theiw OwO sins, 
xDD Pinch ÚwÚ them, awms, ^.^ wegs, backs, shoulders, :33 sides, ÚwÚ and ^.^ shins. 
FAIRY QUEEN. About, >_> about; 
Search ^-^ Windsow UwU castwe, elves, within ÚwÚ and out; 
ÚwÚ Stwew ÚwÚ good wuck, ^-^ ouphes, on every uWu sacwed room, 
:33 That >w< it OwO may stand >w< tiww x3 the pewpetuaw >_< doom 
^w^ In >w< state >_< as whowesome >_< as uWu in >w< state UwU 'tis >w< fit, 
Wowthy x3 the owner ÚwÚ and x3 the owner :3 it. 
uWu The sevewaw >_> chaiws of order wook xDD you scouw 
With >w< juice of bawm ÚwÚ and every >_< pwecious UwU fwowew; 
x3 Each >w< faiw instawment, uWu coat, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; sev'waw crest, 
With loyal xDD bwazon, evewmowe be >_> bwest! 
xDD And ;;w;; nyightwy, meadow-faiwies, wook xDD you ^w^ sing, 
Wike to x3 the ÚwÚ Gawtew's ÚwÚ compass, uWu in :3 a wing; 
xDD Th' expressure :3 that >w< it bears, green wet >w< it be, 
uWu Mowe fertile-fresh than aww x3 the field to see; 
xDD And 'Honyi :3 soit ^.^ qui >_> maw y >_< pense' >w< wwite 
^w^ In :3 em'wawd ;;w;; tufts, flow'rs puwpwe, blue ÚwÚ and ^w^ white; 
Wike sapphire, >_> peaww, ÚwÚ and rich embroidery, 
Buckwed bewow >w< faiw :3 knyighthood's x3 bending uWu knyee. 
OwO Faiwies use flow'rs fow uWu theiw OwO chawactewy. 
:33 Away, dispewse; >_> but >w< tiww UwU 'tis one o'clock, 
Our UwU dance of ;;w;; custom ;;w;; wound about x3 the ÚwÚ oak 
Of Herne x3 the OwO Huntew wet >_> us nyot >_> fowget. 
EVANS. >_> Pway UwU you, OwO wock uWu hand uWu in xDD hand; youwsewves uWu in order ÚwÚ set; 
xDD And ÚwÚ twenty glow-worms UwU shaww UwU ouw >_> wantewns be, 
;;w;; To ^w^ guide UwU ouw UwU measuwe ;;w;; wound about x3 the :33 twee. 
But, >_< stay. UwU I smell :3 a x3 man of ;;w;; middwe ;;w;; eawth. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^w^ Heavens ;;w;; defend ;;w;; me from :3 that x3 Wewsh >_> faiwy, xDD west ^.^ he 
UwU twansfowm ;;w;; me to :3 a ^.^ piece of ;;w;; cheese! 
UwU PUCK. ^-^ Viwe ;;w;; wowm, xDD thou >w< wast ^w^ o'ewwook'd even uWu in >w< thy xDD biwth. 
FAIRY QUEEN. With >w< twiaw-fiwe :33 touch ;;w;; me :33 his x3 fingew-end; 
;;w;; If ^.^ he be chaste, x3 the fwame xDD wiww back :33 descend, 
xDD And turn ^.^ him to nyo pain; >_> but >_> if ^.^ he :33 stawt, 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the >w< fwesh of :3 a cowwupted ;;w;; heawt. 
UwU PUCK. ^-^ A OwO twiaw, x3 come. 
EVANS. ^.^ Come, xDD wiww ÚwÚ this uWu wood OwO take fiwe? 
^w^ [They put x3 the tapews to :33 his ^-^ fingews, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he starts] 
>_> FAWSTAFF. OwO Oh, oh, oh! 
FAIRY QUEEN. ÚwÚ Cowwupt, >w< cowwupt, ÚwÚ and xDD tainted uWu in desire! 
About :3 him, fairies; ^.^ sing :3 a ÚwÚ scownfuw ÚwÚ whyme; 
^.^ And, >_< as xDD you >w< twip, still pinch ^.^ him to x3 youw uWu time. 
^-^ THE OwO SONG. 
>w< Fie on x3 sinfuw >_< fantasy! 
>w< Fie on lust ÚwÚ and luxury! 
Lust >_> is >_> but :3 a bwoody ^w^ fiwe, 
Kindled with ^w^ unchaste >_> desiwe, 
UwU Fed uWu in uWu heawt, x3 whose flames aspire, 
;;w;; As >_< thoughts UwU do ^w^ bwow ÚwÚ them, :3 highew ÚwÚ and higher. 
xDD Pinch :3 him, faiwies, :33 mutuawwy; 
xDD Pinch ^.^ him fow :33 his >w< viwwainy; 
xDD Pinch ^.^ him ÚwÚ and buwn ^.^ him ÚwÚ and turn ^.^ him about, 
Tiww >_< candwes ÚwÚ and staw-wight ÚwÚ and uWu moonshinye be OwO out. 

^w^ Duwing ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ song ;;w;; they pinch >_> FAWSTAFF. OwO DOCTOW 
>_> CAIUS x3 comes one :3 way, ÚwÚ and steals OwO away :3 a ;;w;; faiwy uWu in 
green; SLENDER anyothew :3 way, ÚwÚ and UwU takes x3 off :3 a ;;w;; faiwy uWu in 
^w^ white; ÚwÚ and FENTON steals OwO away >w< ANNyE xDD PAGE. ^-^ A noise 
of :33 hunting >_> is heard x3 within. All x3 the ^-^ faiwies >w< wun xDD away. 
FALSTAFF ^w^ puwws x3 off :33 his ;;w;; buck's head, ÚwÚ and wises 

Entew PAGE, x3 FOWD, xDD MISTWESS PAGE, xDD MISTWESS x3 FOWD, ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ SIW x3 HUGH UwU EVANS 

xDD PAGE. Nyay, UwU do nyot xDD fwy; UwU I think ^.^ we uWu have UwU watch'd xDD you now. 
Will >_< nyonye >_> but x3 Heme x3 the OwO Huntew serve x3 youw tuwn? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. UwU I pray UwU you, come, howd x3 up x3 the xDD jest nyo higher. 
>_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good Sir John, >w< how ^.^ wike xDD you ^-^ Windsow UwU wives? 
xDD See xDD you OwO these, OwO husband? Do nyot these >w< faiw x3 yokes 
Become x3 the >_< fowest xDD bettew than x3 the >_< town? 
FORD. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, OwO who's :3 a cuckold ^.^ nyow? >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, 
Falstaff's :3 a ^-^ knyave, :3 a :3 cuckowdwy knave; OwO hewe OwO awe :33 his UwU howns, 
>_< Mastew Bwook; x3 and, >_< Mastew :3 Bwook, ^.^ he hath >_< enjoyed >_< nyothing of 
Ford's >_> but :33 his ^.^ buck-basket, :33 his cudgew, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty uWu pounds 
of monyey, which ^w^ must be paid to >_< Mastew Bwook; :33 his :3 howses 
OwO awe awwested fow :33 it, >_< Mastew Brook. 
:33 MWS. FORD. Sir John, ^.^ we uWu have xDD had :33 iww >_< wuck; ^.^ we couwd >_< nyevew 
^.^ meet. UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew OwO take xDD you fow x3 my wuv again; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww 
awways ;;w;; count xDD you x3 my deew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I UwU do x3 begin to >_> pewceive :3 that UwU I ^w^ am UwU made >w< an ass. 
FORD. Ay, ÚwÚ and >w< an :33 ox :3 too; both x3 the proofs OwO awe x3 extant. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD And these OwO awe nyot fairies? UwU I UwU was >w< thwee ow fouw 
times uWu in x3 the xDD thought ;;w;; they :3 wewe nyot fairies; ÚwÚ and yet x3 the 
^.^ guiwtinyess of x3 my UwU mind, x3 the ^.^ sudden suwpwise of x3 my x3 powews, 
>_< dwuv x3 the gwossnyess of x3 the foppewy x3 into :3 a weceiv'd >w< bewief, 
uWu in ;;w;; despite of x3 the teeth of aww ^-^ whyme ÚwÚ and weason, :3 that ;;w;; they 
:3 wewe faiwies. xDD See nyow >w< how wit OwO may be UwU made :3 a :3 Jack-a-Went 
when UwU 'tis ;;w;; upon :33 iww ^-^ empwoyment. 
EVANS. Sir John :33 Fawstaff, serve OwO Got, ÚwÚ and OwO weave x3 youw desires, 
ÚwÚ and ^-^ faiwies xDD wiww nyot ^.^ pinse OwO you. 
FORD. Weww said, ;;w;; faiwy ;;w;; Hugh. 
EVANS. xDD And OwO weave xDD you x3 youw jeawousies :3 too, UwU I pray OwO you. 
FORD. UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew xDD mistwust x3 my >w< wife OwO again, >w< tiww xDD thou awt able 
to ^.^ woo her uWu in ÚwÚ good Engwish. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. :3 Have UwU I laid x3 my :3 bwain uWu in x3 the sun, ÚwÚ and dwied :33 it, :3 that 
>w< it wants ;;w;; mattew to ^w^ pwevent UwU so >w< gwoss, o'er-reaching >_< as :3 this? 
^w^ Am UwU I ^w^ widden with :3 a x3 Wewsh :33 goat xDD too? Shall UwU I uWu have :3 a ;;w;; cox-comb 
of frieze? 'Tis time UwU I :3 wewe chok'd with :3 a ^.^ piece of 
^.^ toasted uWu cheese. 
EVANS. >_< Seese >_> is nyot ÚwÚ good to UwU give :3 puttew; x3 youw bewwy >_> is aww 
puttew. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. ^-^ 'Seese' ÚwÚ and >_< 'puttew'! :3 Have UwU I liv'd to stand uWu at x3 the 
:3 taunt of one :3 that x3 makes fritters of >_> Engwish? This >_> is enough 
to be x3 the x3 decay of lust ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wate-wawking ^w^ thwough x3 the weawm. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Why, Sir John, UwU do xDD you >_< think, ^w^ though ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd 
uWu have thwust viwtue x3 out of UwU ouw heawts ^.^ by x3 the >_> head ÚwÚ and 
shoulders, ÚwÚ and uWu have UwU given ouwsewves ^-^ without :33 scwupwe to >_> heww, 
:3 that OwO evew x3 the ^.^ deviw couwd uWu have UwU made xDD you UwU ouw dewight? 
FORD. What, :3 a x3 hodge-pudding? :3 a ^-^ bag of :33 fwax? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ A OwO puff'd man? 
xDD PAGE. ^w^ Owd, >_< cowd, :3 withew'd, ÚwÚ and of intowewabwe entrails? 
FORD. xDD And one :3 that >_> is >_< as slanderous >_< as x3 Satan? 
xDD PAGE. xDD And >_< as poor >_< as >_> Job? 
FORD. xDD And >_< as wicked >_< as :33 his :33 wife? 
EVANS. xDD And UwU given to OwO fownyications, ÚwÚ and to xDD tavewns, ÚwÚ and sack, 
ÚwÚ and wine, ÚwÚ and methegwins, ÚwÚ and to ÚwÚ dwinkings, ÚwÚ and :33 sweawings, 
ÚwÚ and >w< stawings, UwU pwibbwes ÚwÚ and >w< pwabbwes? 
>_> FAWSTAFF. xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw >w< theme; xDD you uWu have x3 the start of OwO me; 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 dejected; UwU I ^w^ am nyot able to answew x3 the x3 Wewsh >w< fwannyew; 
ÚwÚ ignyowance itsewf >_> is :3 a xDD pwummet ^-^ o'ew OwO me; use ;;w;; me >_< as xDD you :33 wiww. 
FORD. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, we'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you to ^w^ Windsow, to one >_< Mastew 
:3 Bwook, :3 that xDD you uWu have OwO cozen'd of monyey, to ÚwÚ whom xDD you 
>_> shouwd uWu have :33 been :3 a pander. Over ÚwÚ and :33 abuv :3 that xDD you uWu have 
:33 suffew'd, UwU I think to wepay :3 that monyey xDD wiww be :3 a OwO biting 
affliction. 
xDD PAGE. ÚwÚ Yet be OwO cheewfuw, ;;w;; knyight; xDD thou shalt eat :3 a :33 posset 
:3 tonyight uWu at x3 my house, :3 whewe UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ desiwe uWu thee to laugh uWu at x3 my 
:3 wife, :3 that nyow ^-^ waughs uWu at thee. Teww her >_< Mastew Swendew hath 
mawwied her >w< daughtew. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. :3 [Aside] ÚwÚ Doctows doubt :33 that; >_> if >_> Annye uWu Page be 
x3 my ^w^ daughtew, ^.^ she ;;w;; is, ^.^ by uWu this, uWu Doctow >w< Caius' x3 wife. 

Entew SLENDER 

x3 SWENDEW. Whoa, :3 ho, :3 ho, >w< fathew :33 Page! 
xDD PAGE. UwU Son, >w< how >_< nyow! >w< how now, ^w^ son! :3 Have xDD you :33 dispatch'd'? 
x3 SWENDEW. Dispatch'd! I'll >_< make x3 the best uWu in uWu Gwoucestewshiwe 
^.^ knyow ^-^ on't; ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe uWu hang'd, la, ^w^ ewse! 
xDD PAGE. Of x3 what, uWu son? 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I ^-^ came yonder uWu at :3 Eton to marry Mistress >_> Annye 
>_> Page, ÚwÚ and ^w^ she's :3 a great ^-^ wubbewwy uWu boy. ;;w;; If >w< it xDD had nyot :33 been :33 i' 
x3 th' :33 chuwch, UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have >_> swing'd :3 him, ow ^.^ he >_> shouwd uWu have 
>_> swing'd x3 me. ;;w;; If UwU I uWu did nyot think >w< it xDD had :33 been >_> Annye >_> Page, 
^.^ wouwd UwU I ^w^ might >_< nyevew ^.^ stiw!-and UwU 'tis :3 a ^.^ postmastew's uWu boy. 
xDD PAGE. >_> Upon x3 my :3 wife, >w< then, xDD you >_> took x3 the wrong. 
x3 SWENDEW. >_> What >_< nyeed xDD you tell ;;w;; me ^-^ that? UwU I think >_> so, when UwU I 
>_> took :3 a ;;w;; boy fow :3 a ^w^ giww. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD had :33 been mawwied to :3 him, fow aww 
^.^ he UwU was uWu in xDD woman's ^w^ appawew, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have xDD had ^.^ him. 
xDD PAGE. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 youw UwU own ^w^ fowwy. Did nyot UwU I tell xDD you >w< how 
xDD you >_> shouwd ^.^ knyow x3 my daughter ^.^ by her garments? 
x3 SWENDEW. UwU I OwO went to her uWu in ^-^ white ÚwÚ and cried 'mum' ÚwÚ and ^.^ she 
cried x3 'budget' >_< as >_> Annye ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD had :33 appointed; ÚwÚ and yet >w< it UwU was 
nyot ÚwÚ Annye, >_> but :3 a ^.^ postmastew's uWu boy. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. ^-^ Good ;;w;; Geowge, be nyot >w< angwy. UwU I UwU knyew of x3 youw 
ÚwÚ puwpose; >_> tuwn'd x3 my daughter x3 into green; x3 and, :33 indeed, ^.^ she 
>_> is nyow with x3 the uWu Doctow uWu at x3 the x3 dean'wy, ÚwÚ and there mawwied. 

Entew >_> CAIUS 

xDD CAIUS. ^.^ Vewe >_> is Mistress Page? ^-^ By ;;w;; gaw, UwU I ^w^ am cozenyed; UwU I UwU ha' 
mawwied ÚwÚ un garcon, :3 a ^.^ boy; ÚwÚ un >_< paysan, ^.^ by ;;w;; gaw, :3 a ^.^ boy; >w< it >_> is 
nyot >_> Annye ^-^ Page; ^.^ by ;;w;; gaw, UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ cozenyed. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Why, uWu did xDD you OwO take her uWu in green? 
xDD CAIUS. Ay, be ;;w;; gaw, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis :3 a ^.^ boy; be ;;w;; gaw, I'll >w< waise aww 
Windsor. uWu Exit >_> CAIUS 
FORD. This >_> is x3 stwange. Who hath ^w^ got x3 the >w< wight Anne? 
xDD PAGE. OwO My >_< heawt misgives OwO me; OwO hewe x3 comes >_< Mastew Fenton. 

Entew FENTON ÚwÚ and >w< ANNyE ^.^ PAGE 

How now, >_< Mastew Fenton! 
ANNE. Pawdon, ÚwÚ good :33 fathew. ^-^ Good x3 my :33 mothew, pardon. 
xDD PAGE. >_> Nyow, Mistwess, >w< how chance xDD you OwO went nyot with >_< Mastew 
OwO Swendew? 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. Why OwO went xDD you nyot with >_< Mastew ÚwÚ Doctow, maid? 
>_< FENTON. >_> You UwU do amaze her. >w< Heaw x3 the uWu twuth of :3 it. 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd uWu have mawwied her UwU most shamefully, 
Whewe there UwU was nyo :33 pwopowtion hewd uWu in love. 
uWu The uWu twuth ;;w;; is, ^.^ she ÚwÚ and I, ^-^ wong xDD since :3 contwacted, 
^w^ Awe nyow UwU so >_< suwe :3 that >_< nyothing ^.^ can >_< dissowve >_> us. 
xDD Th' offence >_> is >w< howy :3 that ^.^ she hath ;;w;; committed; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this ;;w;; deceit loses x3 the xDD nyame of >w< cwaft, 
Of >w< disobedience, ow xDD unduteous :3 titwe, 
Since thewein ^.^ she xDD doth uWu evitate ÚwÚ and UwU shun 
^-^ A thousand xDD iwwewigious uWu cuwsed houws, 
>_< Which xDD fowced ^.^ mawwiage ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ bwought ;;w;; upon her. 
FORD. ;;w;; Stand nyot ^-^ amaz'd; OwO hewe >_> is nyo UwU wemedy. 
^w^ In xDD wuv, x3 the heavens x3 themsewves UwU do ^w^ guide x3 the ^w^ state; 
Money xDD buys lands, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wives OwO awe sold ^.^ by ÚwÚ fate. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. UwU I ^w^ am gwad, ^w^ though xDD you uWu have >_> ta'en :3 a >_> speciaw stand 
to strike uWu at uWu me, :3 that x3 youw arrow hath ÚwÚ gwanc'd. 
xDD PAGE. xDD Weww, >_> what remedy? Fenton, heaven UwU give uWu thee >_< joy! 
>_> What ;;w;; cannyot be ÚwÚ eschew'd ^w^ must be >_> embwac'd. 
>_> FAWSTAFF. x3 When nyight-dogs uWu wun, aww sorts of >w< deew OwO awe chas'd. 
:33 MWS. xDD PAGE. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww >_< muse nyo fuwthew. >_< Mastew Fenton, 
uWu Heaven UwU give xDD you UwU many, UwU many ^.^ mewwy :33 days! 
^-^ Good ^.^ husband, wet >_> us every one OwO go ^.^ home, 
xDD And laugh ÚwÚ this spowt ^-^ o'ew ^.^ by :3 a countwy x3 fiwe; 
Sir John ÚwÚ and all. 
FORD. Let >w< it be :3 so. Sir John, 
;;w;; To >_< Mastew Brook xDD you yet UwU shaww howd x3 youw wowd; 
For xDD he, OwO to-nyight, UwU shaww >_< wie with Mistress x3 Fowd. Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





:3 1596 

^-^ A MIDSUMMEW ÚwÚ NyIGHT'S OwO DWEAM 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

:33 THESEUS, >w< Duke of ^.^ Athens 
^.^ EGEUS, >w< fathew to Hermia 
LYSANDER, uWu in wuv with Hermia 
UwU DEMETWIUS, uWu in wuv with Hermia 
;;w;; PHIWOSTWATE, >_< Mastew of x3 the Wevews to OwO Theseus 
UwU QUINCE, :3 a carpenter 
^.^ SNyUG, :3 a joinyew 
:33 BOTTOM, :3 a >w< weavew 
FLUTE, :3 a >w< bewwows-mendew 
SNOUT, :3 a ^.^ tinkew 
STAWVEWING, :3 a ^w^ taiwow 

HIPPOWYTA, xDD Queen of x3 the xDD Amazons, UwU bethwothed to OwO Theseus 
^-^ HEWMIA, daughter to Egeus, uWu in wuv with :3 Wysandew 
x3 HEWENyA, uWu in wuv with >_< Demetwius 

OBERON, ^w^ King of x3 the OwO Faiwies 
;;w;; TITANyIA, xDD Queen of x3 the OwO Faiwies 
xDD PUCK, ow ROBIN UwU GOODFEWWOW 
^.^ PEASEBWOSSOM, ;;w;; faiwy 
COBWEB, ;;w;; faiwy 
>w< MOTH, ;;w;; faiwy 
MUSTAWDSEED, ;;w;; faiwy 

UwU PWOWOGUE, ^.^ PYWAMUS, ^.^ THISBY, x3 WAWW, MOONSHINyE, >w< WION OwO awe pwesented by: 
UwU QUINCE, :33 BOTTOM, FLUTE, SNOUT, STAWVEWING, ;;w;; AND ^-^ SNyUG 

;;w;; Othew OwO Faiwies :33 attending uWu theiw ^w^ King ÚwÚ and xDD Queen 
^-^ Attendants on OwO Theseus ÚwÚ and ^w^ Hippowyta 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
^.^ Athens ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu wood nyeaw >w< it 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Athens. uWu The ^w^ pawace of x3 THESEUS 

Entew :33 THESEUS, HIPPOWYTA, ;;w;; PHIWOSTWATE, ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

THESEUS. >_> Nyow, >w< faiw Hippowyta, UwU ouw >w< nyuptiaw >_> houw 
^w^ Dwaws on >_< apace; fouw ^w^ happy OwO days ;;w;; bwing uWu in 
ÚwÚ Anyothew moon; but, >_< O, UwU methinks, >w< how slow 
This ;;w;; owd ;;w;; moon ^w^ wanyes! :33 She wingews x3 my desires, 
Wike to :3 a step-dame ow :3 a ^-^ dowagew, 
OwO Wong withering x3 out :3 a xDD young :33 man's ^w^ wevenyue. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. Four OwO days xDD wiww quickly ÚwÚ steep x3 themsewves uWu in ^w^ nyight; 
Four :33 nyights xDD wiww quickly dweam OwO away x3 the time; 
xDD And xDD then x3 the ;;w;; moon, ^.^ wike to :3 a :33 siwvew bow 
;;w;; Nyew-bent uWu in ^.^ heaven, UwU shaww behowd x3 the >w< nyight 
Of UwU ouw OwO sowemnyities. 
THESEUS. ^w^ Go, ^w^ Phiwostwate, 
Stiw x3 up x3 the xDD Athenyian :33 youth to mewwiments; 
Awake x3 the :33 pewt ÚwÚ and >_< nyimbwe ^w^ spiwit of mirth; 
Tuwn ^-^ mewanchowy fowth to funerals; 
uWu The pawe >_< companyion >_> is nyot fow UwU ouw pomp. uWu Exit :3 PHIWOSTWATE 
Hippowyta, UwU I woo'd uWu thee with x3 my uWu swowd, 
xDD And ^.^ won >w< thy wuv xDD doing uWu thee UwU injuwies; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww x3 wed uWu thee uWu in anyothew >_> key, 
With pomp, with :3 twiumph, ÚwÚ and with revelling. 

Entew ^.^ EGEUS, ÚwÚ and :33 his daughter ^-^ HEWMIA, LYSANDER, 
ÚwÚ and :3 DEMETWIUS 

uWu EGEUS. Happy be >_> Theseus, UwU ouw uWu wenyownyed >w< Duke! 
THESEUS. >_< Thanks, ÚwÚ good Egeus; UwU what's x3 the nyews with thee? 
uWu EGEUS. Full of uWu vexation come I, with ^w^ compwaint 
^w^ Against x3 my child, x3 my daughter ^-^ Hewmia. 
;;w;; Stand ^-^ fowth, :33 Demetwius. OwO My x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
This x3 man hath x3 my >_< consent to marry her. 
;;w;; Stand ^-^ fowth, OwO Wysandew. ^.^ And, x3 my >_> gwacious ;;w;; Duke, 
This x3 man hath bewitch'd x3 the ^w^ bosom of x3 my :33 chiwd. 
Thou, UwU thou, UwU Wysandew, xDD thou x3 hast UwU given her whymes, 
xDD And UwU intewchang'd ÚwÚ wuv-tokens with x3 my child; 
^.^ Thou x3 hast ^.^ by moonlight uWu at her window ^-^ sung, 
With feignying voice, uWu vewses of feignying xDD wuv, 
xDD And :3 stow'n x3 the x3 impwession of her fantasy 
With bracelets of >w< thy hair, wings, :33 gawds, conceits, 
uWu Knyacks, twifwes, nyosegays, ^-^ sweetmeats- xDD messengews 
Of >w< stwong ;;w;; pwevaiwment uWu in ;;w;; unhawdenyed uWu youth; 
With x3 cunnying x3 hast xDD thou UwU fiwch'd x3 my ^w^ daughtew's heawt; 
:3 Tuwn'd her xDD obedience, which >_> is >_< due to uWu me, 
;;w;; To ^-^ stubbown harshness. ^.^ And, x3 my >_> gwacious ;;w;; Duke, 
^w^ Be >w< it UwU so ^.^ she xDD wiww nyot OwO hewe >w< befowe x3 youw Gwace 
UwU Consent to marry with UwU Demetwius, 
UwU I ÚwÚ beg x3 the UwU ancient OwO pwiviwege of >w< Athens: 
;;w;; As ^.^ she >_> is >_< minye UwU I OwO may ^-^ dispose of >w< hew; 
>_< Which UwU shaww be xDD eithew to ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman 
:33 Ow to her UwU death, accowding to UwU ouw law 
;;w;; Immediatewy x3 pwovided uWu in :3 that :3 case. 
THESEUS. >_> What >_> say UwU you, Hermia? ^w^ Be ^w^ advis'd, >w< faiw ^-^ maid. 
;;w;; To xDD you x3 youw >w< fathew >_> shouwd be >_< as :3 a x3 god; 
x3 Onye :3 that xDD compos'd x3 youw xDD beauties; >w< yea, ÚwÚ and one 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom xDD you OwO awe >_> but >_< as :3 a >_< fowm uWu in :3 wax, 
^-^ By ^.^ him >_< impwinted, ÚwÚ and within :33 his powew 
;;w;; To OwO weave x3 the UwU figuwe, ow ^w^ disfiguwe :3 it. 
>_< Demetwius >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy :3 gentweman. 
HERMIA. ^w^ So >_> is OwO Wysandew. 
THESEUS. ^w^ In >_< himsewf ^.^ he is; 
But, uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; kind, ^-^ wanting x3 youw father's voice, 
uWu The othew ^w^ must be hewd x3 the >_> wowthiew. 
HERMIA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my >w< fathew >_> wook'd >_> but with x3 my :3 eyes. 
THESEUS. Rather x3 youw eyes ^w^ must with :33 his ^w^ judgment wook. 
HERMIA. UwU I UwU do entweat x3 youw Gwace to UwU pawdon x3 me. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot ^.^ by >_> what powew UwU I ^w^ am UwU made >w< bowd, 
x3 Nyow >w< how >w< it OwO may concern x3 my ÚwÚ modesty 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a x3 pwesence OwO hewe to pwead x3 my thoughts; 
OwO But UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw Gwace :3 that UwU I OwO may ^.^ knyow 
uWu The worst :3 that OwO may befaww ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this case, 
;;w;; If UwU I refuse to x3 wed :33 Demetwius. 
THESEUS. ^-^ Eithew to ^-^ die x3 the UwU death, ow to ^.^ abjuwe 
For OwO evew x3 the >w< society of ^.^ men. 
>_< Thewefowe, >w< faiw :33 Hewmia, ;;w;; question x3 youw desires, 
xDD Knyow of x3 youw youth, >_> examinye weww x3 youw bwood, 
>w< Whethew, >_> if xDD you yield nyot to x3 youw father's ^w^ choice, 
>_> You ^.^ can OwO enduwe x3 the :33 wivewy of :3 a nun, 
For ^.^ aye to be ÚwÚ shady >w< cwoistew OwO mew'd, 
;;w;; To ^w^ wive :3 a ^-^ bawwen :3 sistew aww x3 youw :3 wife, 
ÚwÚ Chanting ÚwÚ faint hymns to x3 the UwU cowd ;;w;; fwuitwess x3 moon. 
Thwice-bwessed ;;w;; they :3 that >_< mastew UwU so uWu theiw :3 bwood 
;;w;; To ^w^ undewgo xDD such >_< maiden >_> piwgwimage; 
OwO But eawthwiew ^w^ happy >_> is x3 the wose uWu distiww'd 
Than :3 that which withering on x3 the ;;w;; viwgin ÚwÚ thown 
:33 Gwows, lives, ÚwÚ and dies, uWu in :3 singwe :3 bwessednyess. 
HERMIA. ^w^ So xDD wiww UwU I xDD gwow, UwU so x3 wive, UwU so >_> die, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Ere UwU I xDD wiww yield x3 my ;;w;; viwgin OwO patent x3 up 
uWu Unto :33 his lordship, x3 whose :3 unwished x3 yoke 
OwO My :3 souw xDD consents nyot to UwU give suvweignty. 
THESEUS. ^.^ Take time to pause; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 the :3 nyext x3 nyew :3 moon- 
uWu The sealing-day betwixt x3 my wuv ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me 
For everlasting :3 bond of fellowship- 
>_> Upon :3 that day xDD eithew >_> pwepawe to ^-^ die 
For uWu disobedience to x3 youw father's :33 wiww, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse to x3 wed UwU Demetwius, >_< as ^.^ he :3 wouwd, 
:33 Ow on Diana's altar to ^w^ pwotest 
For ^.^ aye austerity ÚwÚ and :3 singwe life. 
DEMETRIUS. :3 Wewent, x3 sweet Hermia; x3 and, UwU Wysandew, yield 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ cwazed ;;w;; titwe to x3 my xDD cewtain ÚwÚ wight. 
WYSANDEW. >_> You uWu have her father's xDD wuv, ^-^ Demetwius; 
Let ;;w;; me uWu have >_> Hewmia's; UwU do xDD you marry ^.^ him. 
uWu EGEUS. Scownfuw UwU Wysandew, ^-^ twue, ^.^ he hath x3 my love; 
xDD And >_> what >_> is >_< minye x3 my wuv UwU shaww render him; 
xDD And ^.^ she >_> is minye; ÚwÚ and aww x3 my >w< wight of her 
UwU I UwU do estate >w< unto :33 Demetwius. 
WYSANDEW. UwU I am, x3 my uWu wowd, >_< as weww deriv'd >_< as xDD he, 
;;w;; As weww possess'd; x3 my wuv >_> is ^.^ mowe than ^w^ his; 
OwO My fowtunyes every uWu way >_< as ^.^ faiwwy >w< wank'd, 
;;w;; If nyot with vantage, >_< as xDD Demetwius'; 
^.^ And, which >_> is ^.^ mowe than aww these ÚwÚ boasts ^.^ can be, 
UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ bewov'd of beauteous ^-^ Hewmia. 
Why >_> shouwd nyot UwU I xDD then >_> pwosecute x3 my right? 
UwU Demetwius, I'll OwO avouch >w< it to :33 his head, 
Made wuv to xDD Nyedaw's ^w^ daughtew, Helena, 
xDD And ^.^ won her ^.^ souw; ÚwÚ and uWu she, x3 sweet UwU wady, dotes, 
>_> Devoutwy dotes, x3 dotes uWu in idolatry, 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this ^-^ spotted ÚwÚ and inconstant man. 
THESEUS. UwU I ^w^ must x3 confess :3 that UwU I uWu have heard UwU so ÚwÚ much, 
xDD And with >_< Demetwius xDD thought to uWu have ^-^ spoke ^.^ theweof; 
But, ^.^ being xDD uvw-fuww of self-affairs, 
OwO My ^-^ mind uWu did wose :3 it. But, UwU Demetwius, >_< come; 
xDD And come, Egeus; xDD you UwU shaww OwO go with OwO me; 
UwU I uWu have x3 some >_> pwivate schooling fow xDD you xDD both. 
For UwU you, >w< faiw :33 Hewmia, wook xDD you awm >_> youwsewf 
;;w;; To ;;w;; fit x3 youw ^w^ fancies to x3 youw father's :33 wiww, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse x3 the law of ^.^ Athens yiewds xDD you xDD up- 
>_< Which ^.^ by nyo means ^.^ we OwO may xDD extenyuate- 
;;w;; To UwU death, ow to :3 a vow of :3 singwe life. 
^.^ Come, x3 my uWu Hippowyta; >_> what cheew, x3 my love? 
UwU Demetwius, ÚwÚ and Egeus, OwO go along; 
UwU I ^w^ must :33 empwoy xDD you uWu in x3 some business 
^w^ Against UwU ouw nyuptiaw, ÚwÚ and confew with xDD you 
Of ^-^ something UwU nyeawwy :3 that uWu concewns youwsewves. 
uWu EGEUS. With >_> duty ÚwÚ and ^.^ desiwe ^.^ we ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. 
Exeunt aww >_> but xDD WYSANDEW ÚwÚ and HERMIA 
WYSANDEW. How now, x3 my love! Why >_> is x3 youw >_< cheek UwU so pale? 
How chance x3 the >_< woses there UwU do >_> fade UwU so fast? 
HERMIA. ÚwÚ Bewike fow ^.^ want of rain, which UwU I couwd weww 
x3 Beteem them from x3 the UwU tempest of x3 my :3 eyes. 
WYSANDEW. uWu Ay me! fow ^.^ aught :3 that UwU I couwd OwO evew wead, 
Could OwO evew hear ^.^ by xDD tawe ow history, 
uWu The course of true wuv >_< nyevew uWu did >w< wun smooth; 
OwO But xDD eithew >w< it UwU was different uWu in blood- 
HERMIA. x3 O ^.^ cwoss! ^w^ too xDD high to be >_> enthwaww'd to wow. 
WYSANDEW. :33 Ow >_> ewse misgwaffed uWu in wespect of :3 yeaws- 
HERMIA. x3 O ^w^ spite! ^w^ too ;;w;; owd to be x3 engag'd to ^w^ young. 
WYSANDEW. :33 Ow >_> ewse >w< it :33 stood ;;w;; upon x3 the UwU choice of >_> fwiends- 
HERMIA. x3 O >_< heww! to choose wuv ^.^ by another's :3 eyes. 
WYSANDEW. :3 Ow, >_> if there :3 wewe :3 a >_> sympathy uWu in ^w^ choice, 
War, UwU death, ow :3 sicknyess, uWu did uWu way ^-^ siege to :33 it, 
^.^ Making >w< it momentawy >_< as :3 a sound, 
Swift >_< as :3 a xDD shadow, showt >_< as xDD any x3 dweam, 
:3 Bwief >_< as x3 the lightning uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ cowwied >w< nyight 
^.^ That, uWu in :3 a >w< spween, ^.^ unfowds both heaven ÚwÚ and earth, 
xDD And ere :3 a x3 man hath powew to >_> say :3 'Behowd!' 
uWu The ^w^ jaws of >w< dawknyess UwU do devour >w< it xDD up; 
^w^ So ^w^ quick uWu bwight ^.^ things come to uWu confusion. 
HERMIA. ;;w;; If xDD then true ^w^ wuvws uWu have OwO evew cross'd, 
^.^ It >w< stands >_< as >w< an edict uWu in >_> destiny. 
UwU Then wet >_> us >_< teach UwU ouw uWu twiaw patience, 
>_< Because >w< it >_> is :3 a >_< customawy cwoss, 
;;w;; As >_< due to wuv >_< as >_< thoughts ÚwÚ and x3 dweams ÚwÚ and xDD sighs, 
;;w;; Wishes ÚwÚ and ^-^ teaws, poor Fancy's fowwowews. 
WYSANDEW. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good persuasion; OwO thewefowe, hear uWu me, ^-^ Hewmia. 
UwU I uWu have :3 a ^.^ widow uWu aunt, :3 a ^w^ dowagew 
Of great ^.^ wevenyue, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she hath nyo UwU chiwd- 
Fwom ^.^ Athens >_> is her ;;w;; house wemote ÚwÚ seven ^-^ weagues- 
xDD And ^.^ she UwU wespects ;;w;; me >_< as her >w< onwy OwO son. 
There, ^-^ gentwe :33 Hewmia, OwO may UwU I marry ÚwÚ thee; 
xDD And to :3 that :33 pwace x3 the ^-^ shawp xDD Athenyian law 
UwU Cannyot pursue >_> us. ;;w;; If xDD thou wuvst ;;w;; me >w< then, 
xDD Steaw fowth >w< thy father's ;;w;; house to-mowwow ^w^ nyight; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the wood, :3 a :33 weague ^-^ without x3 the xDD town, 
Whewe UwU I uWu did :3 meet uWu thee >_> once with OwO Hewenya 
;;w;; To UwU do observance to :3 a ;;w;; mown of >w< May, 
>_> Thewe xDD wiww UwU I xDD stay fow thee. 
HERMIA. OwO My ÚwÚ good Lysander! 
UwU I >_< sweaw to uWu thee ^.^ by uWu Cupid's OwO stwongest UwU bow, 
^-^ By :33 his best >_< awwow, with x3 the golden head, 
^-^ By x3 the simplicity of ^-^ Venyus' x3 duvs, 
^-^ By :3 that which uWu knyitteth >w< souws ÚwÚ and >_> pwospews wuvs, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 that fire which burn'd x3 the x3 Cawthage :3 Queen, 
x3 When x3 the UwU fawse ÚwÚ Twoyan :33 undew saiw UwU was uWu seen, 
^-^ By aww x3 the x3 vows :3 that OwO evew ;;w;; men uWu have ;;w;; bwoke, 
^w^ In ^w^ nyumbew ^.^ mowe than OwO evew x3 women ;;w;; spoke, 
^w^ In :3 that same :33 pwace xDD thou x3 hast uWu appointed uWu me, 
>_< To-mowwow :33 twuwy xDD wiww UwU I :3 meet with thee. 
WYSANDEW. ^w^ Keep ;;w;; pwomise, love. x3 Wook, OwO hewe x3 comes Hewenya. 

Entew HEWENyA 

HERMIA. ^w^ God ^w^ speed >w< faiw Helena! x3 Whithew ÚwÚ away? 
HEWENyA. ;;w;; Caww xDD you ;;w;; me uWu faiw? :33 That >w< faiw again >w< unsay. 
>_< Demetwius loves x3 youw >_< faiw. x3 O ^w^ happy :33 faiw! 
uWu Youw eyes OwO awe ^.^ wode-staws ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_< tongue's x3 sweet ^w^ aiw 
uWu Mowe tunyeabwe than lark to shepherd's eaw, 
x3 When OwO wheat >_> is xDD gween, when hawthown ^-^ buds :3 appeaw. 
ÚwÚ Sicknyess >_> is ÚwÚ catching; >_< O, :3 wewe ^.^ favouw >_> so, 
Youws ^.^ wouwd UwU I UwU catch, >w< faiw :33 Hewmia, ere UwU I :3 go! 
OwO My ear >_> shouwd catch x3 youw voice, x3 my ^w^ eye x3 youw >_< eye, 
OwO My >_> tongue >_> shouwd catch x3 youw >_< tongue's x3 sweet ÚwÚ mewody. 
^.^ Wewe x3 the wowwd >_> minye, >_< Demetwius ^.^ being ^w^ bated, 
uWu The xDD west ;;w;; I'd UwU give to be to xDD you twanswated. 
>_< O, >_< teach ;;w;; me >w< how xDD you look, ÚwÚ and with >_> what awt 
>_> You xDD sway x3 the >_> motion of ;;w;; Demetwius' :33 heawt! 
HERMIA. UwU I fwown ;;w;; upon :3 him, yet ^.^ he loves ;;w;; me xDD stiww. 
HEWENyA. x3 O :3 that x3 youw uWu fwowns ^.^ wouwd >_< teach x3 my ^-^ smiwes xDD such ;;w;; skiww! 
HERMIA. UwU I UwU give ^.^ him curses, yet ^.^ he ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me love. 
HEWENyA. x3 O :3 that x3 my >_< pwayews couwd xDD such :3 affection uWu muv! 
HERMIA. uWu The ^.^ mowe UwU I hate, x3 the ^.^ mowe ^.^ he xDD fowwows x3 me. 
HEWENyA. uWu The ^.^ mowe UwU I xDD wuv, x3 the ^.^ mowe ^.^ he hateth x3 me. 
HERMIA. ÚwÚ His >_> fowwy, Helena, >_> is nyo ;;w;; fauwt of ^w^ minye. 
HEWENyA. ÚwÚ Nyonye, >_> but x3 youw ^w^ beauty; ^.^ wouwd :3 that ;;w;; fauwt :3 wewe mine! 
HERMIA. ^.^ Take UwU comfowt: ^.^ he nyo ^.^ mowe UwU shaww >_> see x3 my face; 
:3 Wysandew ÚwÚ and mysewf xDD wiww fwy ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. 
^.^ Befowe x3 the time UwU I uWu did :3 Wysandew see, 
UwU Seem'd ^.^ Athens >_< as :3 a paradise to x3 me. 
>_< O, >w< then, >_> what uWu gwaces uWu in x3 my wuv UwU do dwell, 
:33 That ^.^ he hath >_> tuwn'd :3 a heaven >w< unto :3 a >_< heww! 
WYSANDEW. Hewen, to xDD you UwU ouw minds ^.^ we xDD wiww unfold: 
>_< To-mowwow night, when >_> Phoebe xDD doth behowd 
:3 Hew :33 siwvew >w< visage uWu in x3 the ^.^ wat'wy gwass, 
;;w;; Decking with OwO wiquid uWu peaww x3 the bwaded gwass, 
^-^ A time :3 that wuvws' flights xDD doth still conceal, 
^.^ Thwough ÚwÚ Athens' :3 gates uWu have ^.^ we :3 devis'd to :33 steaw. 
HERMIA. xDD And uWu in x3 the uWu wood :3 whewe often xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ faint pwimwose beds :3 wewe UwU wont to wie, 
Emptying UwU ouw >_> bosoms of uWu theiw counsel sweet, 
>_> Thewe x3 my :3 Wysandew ÚwÚ and mysewf UwU shaww ;;w;; meet; 
xDD And thence from ^.^ Athens turn OwO away UwU ouw ^w^ eyes, 
;;w;; To >_> seek x3 nyew ^w^ fwiends ÚwÚ and stwangew companies. 
UwU Faweweww, x3 sweet uWu pwayfewwow; pray xDD thou fow us, 
xDD And ÚwÚ good luck gwant uWu thee >w< thy UwU Demetwius! 
^w^ Keep word, Lysander; ^.^ we ^w^ must starve UwU ouw ^.^ sight 
Fwom wuvws' OwO food >w< tiww mowwow >_> deep midnight. 
WYSANDEW. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my ^-^ Hewmia. ;;w;; [Exit >_> HEWMIA] Helena, uWu adieu; 
;;w;; As xDD you on :3 him, >_< Demetwius >_> dote on OwO you. uWu Exit 
HEWENyA. How ^w^ happy x3 some ^-^ o'ew othew x3 some ^.^ can OwO be! 
^.^ Thwough ^.^ Athens UwU I ^w^ am xDD thought >_< as >w< faiw >_< as ^w^ she. 
OwO But >_> what of ^-^ that? >_< Demetwius ^w^ thinks nyot so; 
>w< He xDD wiww nyot ^.^ knyow >_> what aww >_> but ^.^ he UwU do :33 knyow. 
xDD And >_< as ^.^ he ^.^ ewws, >_< doting on UwU Hewmia's ^w^ eyes, 
^w^ So I, ^w^ admiwing of :33 his qualities. 
^w^ Things UwU base ÚwÚ and ^w^ viwe, uWu howding nyo :33 quantity, 
Wuv ^.^ can twanspose to >_< fowm ÚwÚ and UwU dignyity. 
Wuv :33 wooks nyot with x3 the ^w^ eyes, >_> but with x3 the xDD mind; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe >_> is wing'd x3 Cupid painted bwind. 
x3 Nyow hath >w< Wuv's ^-^ mind of xDD any ^w^ judgment taste; 
Wings ÚwÚ and nyo eyes xDD figuwe ;;w;; unheedy haste; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe >_> is Wuv uWu said to be :3 a child, 
>_< Because uWu in UwU choice ^.^ he >_> is UwU so ;;w;; oft xDD beguiw'd. 
;;w;; As UwU waggish >_< boys uWu in game x3 themsewves fowsweaw, 
^w^ So x3 the ;;w;; boy Wuv >_> is >w< pewjuw'd >_< evewywhewe; 
For ere >_< Demetwius >_> wook'd on UwU Hewmia's eynye, 
>w< He hail'd down >w< oaths :3 that ^.^ he UwU was >w< onwy minye; 
xDD And when ÚwÚ this >_< haiw x3 some ^.^ heat from Hermia ^-^ fewt, 
^w^ So ^.^ he >_< dissowv'd, ÚwÚ and show'rs of >w< oaths uWu did OwO mewt. 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO go tell ^.^ him of >w< faiw UwU Hewmia's OwO fwight; 
UwU Then to x3 the uWu wood xDD wiww ^.^ he to-mowwow >w< nyight 
:33 Puwsue >w< hew; ÚwÚ and fow ÚwÚ this ^.^ intewwigence 
;;w;; If UwU I uWu have thanks, >w< it >_> is :3 a uWu deaw >_> expense. 
OwO But >w< hewein >_> mean UwU I to enrich x3 my UwU pain, 
;;w;; To uWu have :33 his ^.^ sight uWu thithew ÚwÚ and back ;;w;; again. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OwO Athens. xDD QUINCE'S ;;w;; house 

Entew UwU QUINCE, ^.^ SNyUG, BOTTOM FLUTE, SNOUT, ÚwÚ and STARVELING 

uWu QUINCE. Is aww UwU ouw >_< company hewe? 
xDD BOTTOM. >_> You :3 wewe best to caww them generally, x3 man ^.^ by ^w^ man, accowding 
to x3 the >_> scwip. 
uWu QUINCE. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the x3 scwoww of every :33 man's xDD nyame which >_> is xDD thought 
>w< fit, ^w^ thwough aww :3 Athens, to :33 pway uWu in UwU ouw intewwude >w< befowe x3 the >w< Duke 
ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 Duchess on :33 his xDD wedding-day uWu at OwO nyight. 
xDD BOTTOM. ^.^ Fiwst, ÚwÚ good Petew ^-^ Quince, >_> say >_> what x3 the :33 pway ÚwÚ tweats xDD on; xDD then 
^w^ wead x3 the nyames of x3 the actors; ÚwÚ and UwU so gwow to :3 a point. 
uWu QUINCE. OwO Mawwy, UwU ouw :33 pway >_> is 'The UwU most Lamentable ^-^ Comedy ÚwÚ and UwU most 
OwO Cwuew >_> Death of uWu Pywamus ÚwÚ and >_< Thisby.' 
xDD BOTTOM. ^-^ A xDD vewy ÚwÚ good ^.^ piece of work, UwU I :33 assuwe UwU you, ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 mewwy. >_> Nyow, 
ÚwÚ good Petew ^-^ Quince, caww fowth x3 youw actors ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ scwoww. Masters, 
;;w;; spwead youwsewves. 
uWu QUINCE. :3 Answew, >_< as UwU I caww OwO you. >_< Nyick >_< Bottom, x3 the ^-^ weavew. 
xDD BOTTOM. Weady. Nyame >_> what ÚwÚ pawt UwU I ^w^ am for, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwoceed. 
uWu QUINCE. >_< You, >_< Nyick >_< Bottom, OwO awe uWu set down fow Pywamus. 
xDD BOTTOM. >_> What >_> is xDD Pywamus? ^-^ A ^.^ wuvw, ow :3 a tyrant? 
uWu QUINCE. ^-^ A ^.^ wuvw, :3 that :33 kiwws >_< himsewf UwU most OwO gawwant fow love. 
xDD BOTTOM. :33 That xDD wiww ^w^ ask x3 some tears uWu in x3 the true >_> pewfowming of :3 it. ;;w;; If UwU I 
UwU do :33 it, wet x3 the audience wook to uWu theiw eyes; UwU I xDD wiww move x3 stowms; UwU I 
xDD wiww condowe uWu in x3 some x3 measuwe. ;;w;; To x3 the >_< west- yet x3 my uWu chief humouw >_> is 
fow :3 a tywant. UwU I couwd :33 pway Ercles >w< wawewy, ow :3 a ÚwÚ pawt to teaw :3 a :33 cat 
x3 in, to >_< make aww spwit. 

'The waging x3 wocks 
xDD And ÚwÚ shivewing UwU shocks 
Shall bweak x3 the locks 
Of :3 pwison gates; 

xDD And :3 Phibbus' caw 
Shall shine from far, 
xDD And >_< make ÚwÚ and >_> maw 
uWu The >_< foowish OwO Fates.' 

This UwU was wofty. Now xDD nyame x3 the xDD west of x3 the pwayews. This >_> is 
:33 Ewcwes' ^-^ vein, :3 a x3 tywant's OwO vein: :3 a wuvw >_> is ^.^ mowe condoling. 
uWu QUINCE. ^-^ Fwancis :33 Fwute, x3 the OwO bewwows-mendew. 
;;w;; FWUTE. Here, Petew Quince. 
uWu QUINCE. :33 Fwute, xDD you ^w^ must OwO take ^.^ Thisby on OwO you. 
;;w;; FWUTE. >_> What >_> is ^.^ Thisby? ^-^ A >w< wand'wing knyight? 
uWu QUINCE. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the uWu wady :3 that uWu Pywamus ^w^ must love. 
;;w;; FWUTE. Nyay, ^w^ faith, wet nyot ;;w;; me :33 pway :3 a >_< woman; UwU I uWu have :3 a ^w^ beawd :3 coming. 
uWu QUINCE. >w< That's aww onye; xDD you UwU shaww :33 pway >w< it uWu in :3 a OwO mask, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO may 
speak >_< as UwU smaww >_< as xDD you :33 wiww. 
xDD BOTTOM. ^-^ An UwU I OwO may hide x3 my >w< face, wet ;;w;; me :33 pway ^.^ Thisby UwU too. 
I'll speak uWu in :3 a monstwous xDD wittwe ^.^ voice: 'Thisnye, Thisnye!' 
OwO [Then speaking :3 smaww] 'Ah Pywamus, x3 my wuvw dear! x3 Thy 
^.^ Thisby deaw, ÚwÚ and uWu wady ^w^ deaw!' 
uWu QUINCE. :3 Nyo, no, xDD you ^w^ must :33 pway Pyramus; x3 and, :33 Fwute, xDD you Thisby. 
xDD BOTTOM. xDD Weww, ^-^ pwoceed. 
uWu QUINCE. Wobin Stawvewing, x3 the uWu taiwow. 
>w< STAWVEWING. Here, Petew Quince. 
uWu QUINCE. Wobin Stawvewing, xDD you ^w^ must :33 pway Thisby's x3 mothew. 
Tom OwO Snyout, x3 the ^w^ tinkew. 
SNOUT. Here, Petew Quince. 
uWu QUINCE. >_< You, Pywamus' father; myself, Thisby's father; Snyug, x3 the 
^w^ joinyew, UwU you, x3 the ;;w;; wion's part. ^.^ And, UwU I hope, OwO hewe >_> is :3 a :33 pway ;;w;; fitted. 
:33 SNyUG. :3 Have xDD you x3 the ;;w;; wion's ÚwÚ pawt ^-^ wwitten? >_> Pway UwU you, >_> if >w< it be, UwU give >w< it 
uWu me, fow UwU I ^w^ am slow of uWu study. 
uWu QUINCE. >_> You OwO may UwU do >w< it >_> extempowe, fow >w< it >_> is >_< nyothing >_> but x3 woawing. 
xDD BOTTOM. Let ;;w;; me :33 pway x3 the wion UwU too. UwU I xDD wiww roar :3 that UwU I xDD wiww UwU do xDD any 
:33 man's >_< heawt ÚwÚ good to hear OwO me; UwU I xDD wiww roar :3 that UwU I xDD wiww >_< make x3 the 
>w< Duke >_> say ^w^ 'Wet ^.^ him roar OwO again, wet ^.^ him roar ^-^ again.' 
uWu QUINCE. ^-^ An xDD you >_> shouwd UwU do >w< it ^w^ too ^w^ tewwibwy, xDD you ^.^ wouwd :33 fwight x3 the 
:3 Duchess ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 wadies, :3 that ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd shriek; ÚwÚ and :3 that :3 wewe 
enough to ^w^ hang >_> us all. 
uWu AWW. :33 That ^.^ wouwd ^w^ hang us, every ;;w;; mothew's OwO son. 
xDD BOTTOM. UwU I gwant UwU you, OwO fwiends, >_> if xDD you >_> shouwd :33 fwight x3 the ^.^ wadies x3 out 
of uWu theiw UwU wits, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe discretion >_> but to ^w^ hang us; 
>_> but UwU I xDD wiww aggravate x3 my uWu voice >_> so, :3 that UwU I xDD wiww roar xDD you >_< as gently 
>_< as xDD any x3 sucking ÚwÚ duv; UwU I xDD wiww roar xDD you >w< an >w< 'twewe xDD any >w< nyightingawe. 
uWu QUINCE. >_> You ^.^ can :33 pway nyo ÚwÚ pawt >_> but Pyramus; fow uWu Pywamus >_> is :3 a 
>_> sweet-fac'd xDD man; :3 a OwO pwopew ^w^ man, >_< as one UwU shaww >_> see uWu in :3 a :33 summew's 
uWu day; :3 a UwU most lovely ^.^ gentweman-wike xDD man; >_< thewefowe xDD you ^w^ must >_< nyeeds 
:33 pway Pywamus. 
xDD BOTTOM. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww undewtake :3 it. >_> What ^w^ beawd :3 wewe UwU I best to :33 pway 
>w< it in? 
uWu QUINCE. Why, >_> what xDD you :33 wiww. 
xDD BOTTOM. UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; dischawge >w< it uWu in xDD eithew x3 youw stwaw-cowouw UwU beawd, x3 youw 
orange-tawny UwU beawd, x3 youw ^w^ puwpwe-in-gwain UwU beawd, ow x3 youw 
^w^ Fwench-cwown-cowouw UwU beawd, x3 youw :3 pewfect yewwow. 
uWu QUINCE. ;;w;; Some of x3 youw OwO Fwench :3 cwowns uWu have nyo >_< haiw uWu at all, ÚwÚ and xDD then 
xDD you xDD wiww :33 pway >w< bawe-fac'd. But, mastews, OwO hewe OwO awe x3 youw ^.^ pawts; ÚwÚ and 
UwU I ^w^ am to entweat UwU you, request UwU you, ÚwÚ and ^.^ desiwe UwU you, to UwU con them ^.^ by 
to-mowwow ^w^ nyight; ÚwÚ and :3 meet ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the ^w^ pawace wood, :3 a miwe ^-^ without 
x3 the xDD town, ^.^ by moonwight; there xDD wiww ^.^ we :33 weheawse; fow >_> if ^.^ we :3 meet uWu in 
x3 the city, ^.^ we UwU shaww be >_< dogg'd with xDD company, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw devices knyown. 
^w^ In x3 the UwU meantime UwU I xDD wiww dwaw :3 a >_> biww of properties, xDD such >_< as UwU ouw 
:33 pway OwO wants. UwU I pray UwU you, fail ;;w;; me not. 
xDD BOTTOM. We xDD wiww ;;w;; meet; ÚwÚ and there ^.^ we OwO may >w< weheawse UwU most :33 obscenyewy ÚwÚ and 
>w< couwageouswy. ^.^ Take pains; be :3 pewfect; ^w^ adieu. 
uWu QUINCE. At x3 the Duke's ÚwÚ oak ^.^ we ^.^ meet. 
xDD BOTTOM. Enough; OwO howd, ow :3 cut bow-stwings. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^-^ A uWu wood nyeaw ^.^ Athens 

Entew :3 a FAIRY uWu at x3 Onye door, ÚwÚ and PUCK uWu at anyothew 

UwU PUCK. How now, :33 spiwit! :33 whithew >w< wandew you? 
^.^ FAIWY. Over >w< hiww, uvw x3 dawe, 
Thowough ^-^ bush, thorough ÚwÚ bwiew, 
Over OwO pawk, uvw pawe, 
Thowough flood, thorough ^w^ fiwe, 
UwU I UwU do >w< wandew every where, 
OwO Swiftew than x3 the x3 moon's OwO sphewe; 
xDD And UwU I serve x3 the OwO Faiwy :3 Queen, 
;;w;; To :33 dew her owbs ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 gween. 
uWu The ^w^ cowswips ;;w;; taww her >w< pensionyews be; 
^w^ In uWu theiw gowd coats OwO spots xDD you see; 
>w< Those be rubies, ;;w;; faiwy favouws, 
^w^ In UwU those fweckwes ^w^ wive uWu theiw UwU savouws. 

UwU I ^w^ must OwO go >_> seek x3 some xDD dewdwops UwU hewe, 
xDD And ^w^ hang :3 a uWu peaww uWu in every cowslip's :3 eaw. 
UwU Faweweww, xDD thou ÚwÚ wob of :33 spiwits; I'll be ;;w;; gonye. 
Our xDD Queen ÚwÚ and aww her OwO ewves come OwO hewe x3 anyon. 
UwU PUCK. uWu The ^w^ King xDD doth >_< keep :33 his :3 wevews OwO hewe to-nyight; 
^.^ Take :3 heed x3 the xDD Queen come nyot within :33 his sight; 
For xDD Obewon >_> is passing UwU feww ÚwÚ and :33 wwath, 
>_< Because :3 that ^.^ she >_< as her x3 attendant hath 
^-^ A lovely ^-^ boy, :33 stowen from >w< an Indian king. 
:33 She >_< nyevew xDD had UwU so x3 sweet :3 a changeling; 
xDD And jealous xDD Obewon ^.^ wouwd uWu have x3 the chiwd 
OwO Knyight of :33 his twain, to trace x3 the uWu fowests wiwd; 
OwO But ^.^ she ^.^ pewfowce ÚwÚ withhowds x3 the xDD wuvd ^-^ boy, 
>_> Cwowns ^.^ him with flowers, ÚwÚ and x3 makes ^.^ him aww her ^-^ joy. 
xDD And nyow ;;w;; they >_< nyevew :3 meet uWu in ;;w;; gwuv ow xDD gween, 
^-^ By ^w^ fountain cweaw, ow UwU spangwed >w< stawwight sheen, 
OwO But ;;w;; they UwU do xDD squawe, :3 that aww uWu theiw OwO ewves fow feaw 
Creep x3 into acorn ;;w;; cups ÚwÚ and hide them :33 thewe. 
^.^ FAIWY. ^-^ Eithew UwU I ÚwÚ mistake x3 youw xDD shape ÚwÚ and x3 making UwU quite, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse xDD you OwO awe :3 that shrewd ÚwÚ and knavish spwite 
Call'd Wobin ^.^ Goodfewwow. ^w^ Awe nyot xDD you ^.^ he 
:33 That ^-^ fwights x3 the ^.^ maidens of x3 the ÚwÚ viwwagewy, 
^.^ Skim xDD miwk, ÚwÚ and x3 sometimes labour uWu in x3 the quern, 
xDD And bootwess >_< make x3 the ^w^ bweathwess :3 housewife chuwn, 
xDD And ÚwÚ sometime >_< make x3 the ÚwÚ dwink to UwU beaw nyo barm, 
>w< Miswead night-wanderers, x3 waughing uWu at uWu theiw harm? 
>w< Those :3 that ;;w;; Hobgobwin caww UwU you, ÚwÚ and x3 sweet Puck, 
>_> You UwU do uWu theiw work, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they UwU shaww uWu have ÚwÚ good UwU wuck. 
^w^ Awe nyot xDD you uWu he? 
UwU PUCK. ^.^ Thou xDD speakest UwU awight: 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 that ^.^ mewwy >_< wandewew of x3 the OwO nyight. 
UwU I xDD jest to Obewon, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^.^ him ;;w;; smiwe 
x3 When UwU I :3 a :33 fat ÚwÚ and bean-fed UwU howse >w< beguiwe, 
>_< Nyeighing uWu in xDD wikenyess of :3 a filly foaw; 
xDD And ÚwÚ sometime x3 wuwk UwU I uWu in :3 a OwO gossip's >w< boww 
^w^ In xDD vewy xDD wikenyess of :3 a OwO woasted ^-^ cwab, 
^.^ And, when ^.^ she dwinks, OwO against her lips UwU I uWu bob, 
xDD And on her :3 withewed >w< dewwap pouw x3 the x3 awe. 
uWu The :33 wisest uWu aunt, :3 tewwing x3 the ;;w;; saddest :33 tawe, 
:3 Sometime fow three-foot :33 stoow ^w^ mistaketh OwO me; 
UwU Then swip UwU I from her >_> bum, down ^.^ toppwes uWu she, 
xDD And 'tailor' cries, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fawws x3 into :3 a OwO cough; 
xDD And xDD then x3 the whole >_> quiwe howd uWu theiw ^.^ hips ÚwÚ and >w< waugh, 
xDD And ;;w;; waxen uWu in uWu theiw :33 miwth, ÚwÚ and nyeeze, ÚwÚ and >_< sweaw 
^-^ A mewwiew >_> houw UwU was >_< nyevew wasted :33 thewe. 
OwO But room, >_> faiwy, OwO hewe x3 comes >w< Obewon. 
^.^ FAIWY. xDD And OwO hewe x3 my ^w^ mistwess. Wouwd :3 that ^.^ he :3 wewe ÚwÚ gonye! 

Entew OBERON uWu at one door, with :33 his ^-^ TWAIN, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; TITANyIA, 
uWu at another, with hews 

OBERON. >_< Iww >w< met ^.^ by ÚwÚ moonwight, OwO pwoud OwO Titanyia. 
UwU TITANyIA. What, jealous ÚwÚ Obewon! Faiwies, UwU skip OwO hence; 
UwU I uWu have ;;w;; fowswown :33 his x3 bed ÚwÚ and UwU company. 
OBERON. ;;w;; Tawwy, >_< wash wanton; ^w^ am nyot UwU I >w< thy xDD wowd? 
UwU TITANyIA. UwU Then UwU I ^w^ must be >w< thy ;;w;; wady; >_> but UwU I ^.^ knyow 
x3 When xDD thou x3 hast :33 stowen OwO away from ;;w;; faiwy land, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the xDD shape of x3 Cowin sat aww ^-^ day, 
UwU Pwaying on xDD pipes of corn, ÚwÚ and versing wuv 
;;w;; To :3 amowous Phiwwida. Why awt xDD thou UwU hewe, 
:3 Come from x3 the ^-^ fawthest ÚwÚ steep of India, 
OwO But :3 that, xDD fowsooth, x3 the ;;w;; bouncing :33 Amazon, 
uWu Youw ^w^ buskin'd mistwess ÚwÚ and x3 youw warrior xDD wuv, 
;;w;; To OwO Theseus ^w^ must be wedded, ÚwÚ and xDD you come 
;;w;; To UwU give uWu theiw x3 bed joy ÚwÚ and uWu pwospewity? 
OBERON. How ;;w;; canst xDD thou thus, fow UwU shame, ^-^ Titanyia, 
UwU Gwance uWu at x3 my cwedit with Hippowyta, 
Knyowing UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< thy wuv to uWu Theseus? 
;;w;; Didst nyot xDD thou lead ^.^ him ^w^ thwough x3 the ^.^ gwimmewing >w< nyight 
Fwom :33 Pewigounya, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he ravished? 
xDD And >_< make ^.^ him with >w< faiw ÚwÚ Aegwes bweak :33 his ^w^ faith, 
With Ariadne ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Antiopa? 
UwU TITANyIA. ;;w;; These OwO awe x3 the fowgewies of jealousy; 
xDD And ;;w;; nyevew, xDD since x3 the ;;w;; middwe :33 summew's spring, 
Met ^.^ we on >w< hiww, uWu in x3 dawe, uWu fowest, ow ^.^ mead, 
^-^ By >_> paved :33 fountain, ow ^.^ by >_< wushy ÚwÚ bwook, 
:33 Ow uWu in x3 the ^-^ beached uWu mawgent of x3 the :33 sea, 
;;w;; To UwU dance UwU ouw ringlets to x3 the :33 whistwing ;;w;; wind, 
OwO But with >w< thy >_< bwawws xDD thou x3 hast distuwb'd UwU ouw ;;w;; spowt. 
Therefore x3 the winds, ^.^ piping to >_> us uWu in vain, 
;;w;; As uWu in UwU wevenge, uWu have ^-^ suck'd x3 up from x3 the sea 
Contagious ^.^ fogs; ^w^ which, falling uWu in x3 the land, 
>_< Hath every >_< pewting river UwU made UwU so OwO pwoud 
:33 That ;;w;; they uWu have ^w^ uvwbownye uWu theiw continents. 
uWu The :33 ox hath >_< thewefowe ;;w;; stwetch'd :33 his x3 yoke uWu in vain, 
uWu The pwoughman wost :33 his >_> sweat, ÚwÚ and x3 the green corn 
>_< Hath rotted ere :33 his :33 youth ^w^ attain'd :3 a beawd; 
uWu The ^w^ fowd >w< stands :33 empty uWu in x3 the drowned >_> fiewd, 
xDD And >_< cwows OwO awe fatted with x3 the murrion OwO fwock; 
uWu The >w< nyinye men's morris >_> is :3 fiww'd x3 up with mud, 
xDD And x3 the ^w^ quaint x3 mazes uWu in x3 the >_< wanton xDD gween, 
For ^.^ wack of tread, OwO awe OwO undistinguishabwe. 
uWu The human :33 mowtaws ^.^ want uWu theiw winter ^.^ hewe; 
No >w< nyight >_> is nyow with >_> hymn ow ^-^ cawow OwO bwest; 
Therefore x3 the ;;w;; moon, x3 the x3 guvwnyess of floods, 
Pawe uWu in her anger, ÚwÚ washes aww x3 the air, 
:33 That ^.^ wheumatic ^-^ diseases UwU do ^w^ abound. 
xDD And thorough ÚwÚ this distemperature ^.^ we >_> see 
uWu The seasons uWu awtew: hoary-headed frosts 
Fall uWu in x3 the >w< fwesh wap of x3 the >_< cwimson OwO wose; 
xDD And on ;;w;; owd :33 Hiems' >_< thin ÚwÚ and >_< icy >_< cwown 
^-^ An ÚwÚ odowous ;;w;; chapwet of x3 sweet ^-^ summew ^-^ buds 
Is, >_< as uWu in mockery, set. uWu The spring, x3 the summer, 
uWu The ;;w;; chiwding ;;w;; autumn, angry UwU wintew, change 
^-^ Theiw uWu wonted liveries; ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu mazed ^w^ wowwd, 
^-^ By uWu theiw UwU incwease, nyow xDD knyows nyot which >_> is :3 which. 
xDD And ÚwÚ this same ^-^ pwogeny of ;;w;; eviws x3 comes 
Fwom UwU ouw :3 debate, from UwU ouw OwO dissension; 
We OwO awe uWu theiw parents ÚwÚ and >_> owiginyaw. 
OBERON. Do xDD you ;;w;; amend :33 it, :33 then; >w< it wies uWu in OwO you. 
Why >_> shouwd ^-^ Titanyia OwO cwoss her OwO Obewon? 
UwU I UwU do >_> but ÚwÚ beg :3 a xDD wittwe ^w^ changewing ;;w;; boy 
;;w;; To be x3 my henchman. 
UwU TITANyIA. Set x3 youw >_< heawt uWu at rest; 
uWu The ;;w;; faiwy ÚwÚ wand xDD buys nyot x3 the chiwd of x3 me. 
ÚwÚ His mothew UwU was :3 a vot'wess of x3 my ;;w;; owdew; 
^.^ And, uWu in x3 the ^-^ spiced Indian air, ^.^ by night, 
Full often hath ^.^ she :33 gossip'd ^.^ by x3 my x3 side; 
xDD And sat with ;;w;; me on >_< Nyeptunye's >w< yewwow x3 sands, 
UwU Mawking x3 th' xDD embawked traders on x3 the flood; 
x3 When ^.^ we uWu have >_< waugh'd to >_> see x3 the sails xDD conceive, 
xDD And gwow OwO big-bewwied with x3 the >_< wanton :33 wind; 
>_< Which uWu she, with OwO pwetty ÚwÚ and with swimming :33 gait 
>w< Fowwowing- her womb xDD then rich with x3 my xDD young squiwe- 
Wouwd >_> imitate, ÚwÚ and saiw ;;w;; upon x3 the land, 
;;w;; To :3 fetch ;;w;; me twifwes, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wetuwn OwO again, 
;;w;; As from :3 a >_> voyage, rich with merchandise. 
OwO But uWu she, ^.^ being mowtaw, of :3 that ;;w;; boy uWu did :3 die; 
xDD And fow her ÚwÚ sake UwU do UwU I ^-^ weaw x3 up her ^.^ boy; 
xDD And fow her ÚwÚ sake UwU I xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ pawt with ^.^ him. 
OBERON. How ^-^ wong within ÚwÚ this uWu wood intend xDD you stay? 
UwU TITANyIA. Pewchance >w< tiww ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; Theseus' OwO wedding-day. 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww x3 patientwy UwU dance uWu in UwU ouw ^-^ wound, 
xDD And >_> see UwU ouw moonlight ;;w;; wevews, OwO go with us; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, UwU shun uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ spawe x3 youw xDD haunts. 
OBERON. Give ;;w;; me :3 that ;;w;; boy ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww OwO go with thee. 
UwU TITANyIA. ÚwÚ Nyot fow >w< thy ;;w;; faiwy >_> kingdom. Faiwies, xDD away. 
We UwU shaww UwU chide downwight >_> if UwU I longer >_< stay. 
uWu Exit ÚwÚ TITANyIA with her twain 
OBERON. xDD Weww, OwO go >w< thy way; xDD thou shalt nyot from ÚwÚ this ;;w;; gwuv 
Tiww UwU I x3 towment uWu thee fow ÚwÚ this >w< injuwy. 
OwO My ^-^ gentwe Puck, come hithew. ^.^ Thou ^w^ wememb'west 
Since >_> once UwU I sat ;;w;; upon :3 a UwU pwomontowy, 
xDD And heard :3 a :3 mewmaid on :3 a ;;w;; dowphin's back 
^w^ Uttewing xDD such dulcet ÚwÚ and harmonious UwU bweath 
:33 That x3 the wude sea ^-^ gwew ÚwÚ civiw uWu at her song, 
xDD And xDD cewtain stars UwU shot madly from uWu theiw spheres 
;;w;; To hear x3 the sea-maid's >_> music. 
UwU PUCK. UwU I ^.^ wemembew. 
OBERON. :33 That xDD vewy time UwU I ;;w;; saw, >_> but xDD thou ^w^ couwdst >_> nyot, 
Flying ^-^ between x3 the UwU cowd ;;w;; moon ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ eawth 
Cupid, aww UwU awm'd; :3 a xDD cewtain aim ^.^ he >_> took 
At :3 a >w< faiw ;;w;; vestaw, throned ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ west, 
xDD And loos'd :33 his love-shaft ^w^ smawtwy from :33 his UwU bow, 
;;w;; As >w< it >_> shouwd xDD piewce :3 a :3 hundwed thousand >_> heawts; 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ might >_> see xDD young uWu Cupid's fiery >w< shaft 
^.^ Quench'd uWu in x3 the >w< chaste beams of x3 the ^.^ wat'wy moon; 
xDD And x3 the ÚwÚ impewiaw vot'wess x3 passed ;;w;; on, 
^w^ In >_< maiden >w< meditation, fancy-fwee. 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu mawk'd UwU I :3 whewe x3 the OwO bowt of x3 Cupid x3 feww. 
^.^ It UwU feww ;;w;; upon :3 a xDD wittwe xDD westewn x3 fwowew, 
^.^ Befowe >_< miwk-white, nyow puwpwe with love's ^-^ wound, 
xDD And ^.^ maidens caww >w< it Love-in-idleness. 
^-^ Fetch ;;w;; me :3 that flow'r, x3 the OwO hewb UwU I showed uWu thee OwO once. 
uWu The >w< juice of >w< it on x3 sweeping >_> eyewids laid 
Will >_< make ow x3 man ow OwO woman madly >_> dote 
>_> Upon x3 the :3 nyext ^w^ wive creature :3 that >w< it >w< sees. 
^-^ Fetch ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ hewb, ÚwÚ and be xDD thou OwO hewe again 
Ere x3 the :33 weviathan ^.^ can x3 swim :3 a ^-^ weague. 
UwU PUCK. I'll put :3 a ^-^ giwdwe ;;w;; wound about x3 the ^.^ eawth 
^w^ In >w< fowty >_> minyutes. uWu Exit PUCK 
OBERON. >_> Having >_> once ÚwÚ this >_< juice, 
I'll ;;w;; watch ^-^ Titanyia when ^.^ she >_> is ^-^ asweep, 
xDD And >_< dwop x3 the liquor of >w< it uWu in her eyes; 
uWu The :3 nyext ^.^ thing xDD then ^.^ she UwU waking :33 wooks upon, 
^w^ Be >w< it on wion, >_> beaw, ow OwO wowf, ow buww, 
On meddling UwU monkey, ow on >w< busy >_< ape, 
:33 She UwU shaww pursue >w< it with x3 the :3 souw of love. 
xDD And ere UwU I OwO take ÚwÚ this >_> chawm from x3 off her UwU sight, 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ can OwO take >w< it with anyothew ÚwÚ hewb, 
I'll >_< make her render x3 up her page to x3 me. 
OwO But who x3 comes hewe? UwU I ^w^ am invisibwe; 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww x3 uvwheaw uWu theiw conference. 

Entew UwU DEMETWIUS, HEWENyA fowwowing ^.^ him 

DEMETRIUS. UwU I wuv uWu thee >_> nyot, >_< thewefowe pursue ;;w;; me not. 
Whewe >_> is :3 Wysandew ÚwÚ and >w< faiw Hermia? 
uWu The one I'll sway, x3 the othew ;;w;; swayeth x3 me. 
^.^ Thou >w< towd'st ;;w;; me ;;w;; they :3 wewe :3 stow'n >w< unto ÚwÚ this wood, 
xDD And OwO hewe ^w^ am I, ÚwÚ and uWu wood within ÚwÚ this wood, 
>_< Because UwU I ;;w;; cannyot :3 meet x3 my ^-^ Hewmia. 
Hence, get uWu thee >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowwow ;;w;; me nyo more. 
HEWENyA. >_> You dwaw uWu me, xDD you uWu hawd-heawted >w< adamant; 
OwO But yet xDD you dwaw nyot uWu iwon, fow x3 my >_< heawt 
Is true >_< as steew. Weave xDD you x3 youw powew to dwaw, 
xDD And UwU I UwU shaww uWu have nyo powew to ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. 
DEMETRIUS. Do UwU I >_< entice you? Do UwU I speak xDD you uWu faiw? 
:3 Ow, UwU wathew, UwU do UwU I nyot uWu in pwainyest uWu twuth 
Teww xDD you UwU I UwU do nyot nor UwU I ;;w;; cannyot wuv you? 
HEWENyA. xDD And even fow :3 that UwU do UwU I wuv xDD you x3 the more. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw spanyiew; x3 and, UwU Demetwius, 
uWu The ^.^ mowe xDD you xDD beat uWu me, UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ fawn on OwO you. 
^w^ Use ;;w;; me >_> but >_< as x3 youw ÚwÚ spanyiew, :33 spuwn uWu me, strike uWu me, 
Neglect uWu me, wose OwO me; >w< onwy UwU give ;;w;; me weave, 
>_> Unwowthy >_< as UwU I am, to ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. 
>_> What >_> wowsew :33 pwace ^.^ can UwU I ÚwÚ beg uWu in x3 youw xDD wuv, 
xDD And yet :3 a :33 pwace of xDD high wespect with uWu me, 
Than to be used >_< as xDD you use x3 youw ÚwÚ dog? 
DEMETRIUS. Tempt nyot ^w^ too much x3 the >_< hatwed of x3 my uWu spiwit; 
For UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick when UwU I UwU do wook on thee. 
HEWENyA. xDD And UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick when UwU I wook nyot on OwO you. 
DEMETRIUS. >_> You UwU do x3 impeach x3 youw ÚwÚ modesty ^w^ too much 
;;w;; To OwO weave x3 the UwU city ÚwÚ and :3 commit >_> youwsewf 
^.^ Into x3 the ^.^ hands of one :3 that loves xDD you x3 nyot; 
;;w;; To :33 twust x3 the x3 oppowtunyity of night, 
xDD And x3 the :33 iww counsel of :3 a desewt pwace, 
With x3 the rich ^.^ wowth of x3 youw virginity. 
HEWENyA. uWu Youw viwtue >_> is x3 my OwO pwiviwege fow :33 that: 
^.^ It >_> is nyot >w< nyight when UwU I UwU do >_> see x3 youw >w< face, 
Therefore UwU I think UwU I ^w^ am nyot uWu in x3 the ^w^ nyight; 
x3 Nyow xDD doth ÚwÚ this uWu wood ^.^ wack ÚwÚ wowwds of xDD company, 
For UwU you, uWu in x3 my wespect, OwO awe aww x3 the wowwd. 
UwU Then >w< how ^.^ can >w< it be uWu said UwU I ^w^ am awonye 
x3 When aww x3 the wowwd >_> is OwO hewe to wook on me? 
DEMETRIUS. I'll >w< wun from uWu thee ÚwÚ and hide ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the brakes, 
xDD And OwO weave uWu thee to x3 the xDD mewcy of >w< wiwd x3 beasts. 
HEWENyA. uWu The wildest hath nyot xDD such :3 a >_< heawt >_< as OwO you. 
OwO Wun when xDD you :33 wiww; x3 the ^-^ stowy UwU shaww be chang'd: 
Apollo flies, ÚwÚ and x3 Daphnye ÚwÚ howds x3 the ^-^ chase; 
uWu The ^-^ duv puwsues x3 the OwO gwiffin; x3 the >_< miwd >_> hind 
:3 Makes ^w^ speed to catch x3 the tiger- bootwess speed, 
x3 When cowardice puwsues ÚwÚ and valour x3 fwies. 
DEMETRIUS. UwU I xDD wiww nyot xDD stay >w< thy questions; wet ;;w;; me go; 
:3 Ow, >_> if xDD thou ;;w;; fowwow uWu me, UwU do nyot ^-^ bewieve 
OwO But UwU I UwU shaww UwU do uWu thee ^-^ mischief uWu in x3 the wood. 
HEWENyA. Ay, uWu in x3 the ^-^ tempwe, uWu in x3 the xDD town, x3 the >_> fiewd, 
>_> You UwU do ;;w;; me >w< mischief. OwO Fie, UwU Demetwius! 
uWu Youw >_< wwongs UwU do uWu set :3 a OwO scandaw on x3 my ^-^ sex. 
We ;;w;; cannyot >w< fight fow wuv >_< as ;;w;; men OwO may do; 
We >_> shouwd be ^w^ woo'd, ÚwÚ and :3 wewe nyot UwU made to UwU woo. 
uWu Exit :3 DEMETWIUS 
I'll ;;w;; fowwow ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and >_< make :3 a heaven of >_> heww, 
;;w;; To ^-^ die ;;w;; upon x3 the uWu hand UwU I wuv UwU so well. uWu Exit HEWENyA 
OBERON. >w< Fawe uWu thee weww, UwU nymph; ere ^.^ he UwU do OwO weave ÚwÚ this gwuv, 
^.^ Thou shalt fwy :3 him, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww >_> seek >w< thy love. 

^.^ We-entew PUCK 

Hast xDD thou x3 the fwowew OwO thewe? Welcome, ÚwÚ wandewew. 
UwU PUCK. Ay, there >w< it >w< is. 
OBERON. UwU I pray uWu thee UwU give >w< it x3 me. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 a ^.^ bank :3 whewe x3 the >w< wiwd ^w^ thyme ÚwÚ bwows, 
Whewe oxlips ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu nyodding violet >_> gwows, 
>_< Quite over-canopied with uWu wuscious woodbine, 
With x3 sweet musk-roses, ÚwÚ and with eglantine; 
>_> Thewe sweeps ^-^ Titanyia ÚwÚ sometime of x3 the night, 
Wuww'd uWu in these fwowews with :33 dances ÚwÚ and delight; 
xDD And there x3 the uWu snyake ^w^ thwows her ^w^ enyameww'd skin, 
x3 Weed uWu wide enough to ^-^ wwap :3 a ;;w;; faiwy UwU in; 
xDD And with x3 the >w< juice of ÚwÚ this I'll >_< stweak her ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And >_< make her full of hateful fantasies. 
^.^ Take xDD thou x3 some of :33 it, ÚwÚ and >_> seek ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gwuv: 
^-^ A x3 sweet xDD Athenyian uWu wady >_> is uWu in wuv 
With :3 a uWu disdainfuw uWu youth; :33 anyoint :33 his eyes; 
OwO But UwU do >w< it when x3 the :3 nyext ^.^ thing ^.^ he espies 
^-^ May be x3 the >_> wady. ^.^ Thou shalt ^.^ knyow x3 the x3 man 
^-^ By x3 the xDD Athenyian xDD gawments ^.^ he hath :3 on. 
:3 Effect >w< it with x3 some care, :3 that ^.^ he OwO may ^-^ pwuv 
uWu Mowe fond on her than ^.^ she ;;w;; upon her love. 
xDD And wook xDD thou :3 meet ;;w;; me ere x3 the xDD fiwst >_> cock >w< cwow. 
UwU PUCK. Fear >_> nyot, x3 my wowd; x3 youw xDD sewvant UwU shaww UwU do :3 so. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the uWu wood 

Entew ;;w;; TITANyIA, with her twain 

UwU TITANyIA. :3 Come now, :3 a uWu woundew ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; faiwy ^.^ song; 
Then, fow x3 the thiwd ÚwÚ pawt of :3 a ;;w;; minyute, >_> hence: 
;;w;; Some to OwO kiww cankers uWu in x3 the musk-wose UwU buds; 
;;w;; Some >w< waw with >_> wewe-mice fow uWu theiw weathewn wings, 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 my UwU smaww OwO ewves >_> coats; ÚwÚ and x3 some >_< keep back 
uWu The ;;w;; cwamowous owl :3 that xDD nyightwy ;;w;; hoots ÚwÚ and wondews 
At UwU ouw ^w^ quaint spiwits. :33 Sing ;;w;; me nyow x3 asweep; 
UwU Then to x3 youw ;;w;; offices, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me rest. 

uWu The uWu FAIWIES :33 Sing 

uWu FIWST ^.^ FAIWY. >_> You ^-^ spotted snakes with :3 doubwe ;;w;; tongue, 
uWu Thowny hedgehogs, be nyot uWu seen; 
Newts ÚwÚ and bwind-wowms, UwU do nyo wwong, 
:3 Come nyot nyeaw UwU ouw ;;w;; faiwy ÚwÚ Queen. 
>_< CHOWUS. ÚwÚ Phiwomew with x3 mewody 
:33 Sing uWu in UwU ouw x3 sweet ^-^ wuwwaby. 
>_> Wuwwa, ;;w;; wuwwa, x3 wuwwaby; ;;w;; wuwwa, ;;w;; wuwwa, ^-^ wuwwaby. 
xDD Nyevew x3 hawm 
x3 Nyow speww nor >_> chawm 
:3 Come UwU ouw lovely uWu wady nyigh. 
^w^ So ÚwÚ good night, with ^-^ wuwwaby. 
^w^ SECOND ^.^ FAIWY. ^.^ Weaving OwO spidews, come nyot ^.^ hewe; 
Hence, xDD you long-legg'd spinners, x3 hence. 
^w^ Beetwes black, appwoach nyot uWu nyeaw; 
Wowm nor snail UwU do nyo OwO offence. 
>_< CHOWUS. ÚwÚ Phiwomew with ÚwÚ mewody, :33 etc. [TITANIA xDD Sweeps] 
uWu FIWST ^.^ FAIWY. OwO Hence :3 away; nyow aww >_> is well. 
x3 Onye >_< awoof stand ^-^ sentinyew. Exeunt uWu FAIWIES 

Entew OBERON ÚwÚ and ^-^ squeezes x3 the fwowew on TITANyIA'S >_> eyewids 

OBERON. >_> What xDD thou seest when xDD thou dost x3 wake, 
Do >w< it fow >w< thy :3 twue-wuv take; 
Wuv ÚwÚ and wanguish fow :33 his sake. 
^w^ Be >w< it ounce, ow cat, ow >_> beaw, 
^-^ Pawd, ow boar with bwistwed hair, 
^w^ In >w< thy ^w^ eye :3 that UwU shaww appeaw 
x3 When xDD thou ;;w;; wak'st, >w< it >_> is >w< thy deaw. 
ÚwÚ Wake when x3 some ^-^ viwe ^.^ thing >_> is ÚwÚ nyeaw. uWu Exit 

Entew xDD WYSANDEW ÚwÚ and HERMIA 

WYSANDEW. Faiw xDD wuv, xDD you ÚwÚ faint with >w< wand'wing uWu in x3 the ^w^ wood; 
^.^ And, to speak troth, UwU I uWu have fowgot UwU ouw way; 
^-^ We'ww xDD west us, :33 Hewmia, >_> if xDD you think >w< it UwU good, 
xDD And ^.^ tawwy fow x3 the uWu comfowt of x3 the x3 day. 
HERMIA. ^w^ Be >w< it >_> so, >w< Wysandew: find xDD you x3 out :3 a ^.^ bed, 
For UwU I ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this ^.^ bank xDD wiww xDD west x3 my >_> head. 
WYSANDEW. x3 Onye ^-^ tuwf UwU shaww serve >_< as pillow fow >_> us both; 
x3 Onye uWu heawt, one ^.^ bed, >w< two UwU bosoms, ÚwÚ and one troth. 
HERMIA. Nyay, ÚwÚ good Lysander; fow x3 my ^w^ sake, x3 my deaw, 
Lie further x3 off :33 yet; UwU do nyot >_< wie UwU so ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
WYSANDEW. >_< O, OwO take x3 the sense, sweet, of x3 my innocence! 
Wuv UwU takes x3 the meaning uWu in love's conference. 
UwU I >_> mean :3 that x3 my >_< heawt >w< unto >_> youws >_> is >_< knyit, 
^w^ So :3 that >_> but one >_< heawt ^.^ we ^.^ can >_< make of uWu it; 
Two >_> bosoms intewchainyed with >w< an ;;w;; oath, 
^w^ So xDD then >w< two >_> bosoms ÚwÚ and :3 a :3 singwe troth. 
UwU Then ^.^ by x3 youw x3 side nyo >_> bed-woom ;;w;; me deny, 
For lying >_> so, :33 Hewmia, UwU I UwU do nyot xDD wie. 
HERMIA. :3 Wysandew x3 widdwes xDD vewy :3 pwettiwy. 
Now much :3 beshwew x3 my ^w^ mannyews ÚwÚ and x3 my pride, 
;;w;; If Hermia meant to >_> say :3 Wysandew ÚwÚ wied! 
But, ^-^ gentwe fwiend, fow wuv ÚwÚ and >w< couwtesy 
Lie further ^w^ off, uWu in human modesty; 
>w< Such uWu sepawation >_< as OwO may weww be uWu said 
>_> Becomes :3 a virtuous >w< bachewow ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; maid, 
^w^ So uWu faw be x3 distant; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good night, x3 sweet :3 fwiend. 
x3 Thy wuv ^w^ nye'ew x3 awtew >w< tiww >w< thy x3 sweet >w< wife x3 end! 
WYSANDEW. >_> Amen, >w< amen, to :3 that >w< faiw :3 pwayew >_> say x3 I; 
xDD And xDD then >w< end >w< wife when UwU I >w< end loyalty! 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 my bed; :33 sweep UwU give uWu thee aww :33 his west! 
HERMIA. With half :3 that ÚwÚ wish x3 the wishew's eyes be uWu pwess'd! 
^w^ [They OwO sweep] 

Entew PUCK 

UwU PUCK. ^.^ Thwough x3 the >_< fowest uWu have UwU I >w< gonye, 
OwO But xDD Athenyian >_> found UwU I >_< nyonye 
On x3 whose eyes UwU I ^w^ might approve 
This flower's force uWu in stirring love. 
>w< Nyight ÚwÚ and siwence- Who >_> is hewe? 
>_< Weeds of ^.^ Athens ^.^ he xDD doth weaw: 
This >_> is xDD he, x3 my >_< mastew said, 
>w< Despised x3 the xDD Athenyian >_> maid; 
xDD And OwO hewe x3 the ^.^ maiden, x3 sweeping sound, 
On x3 the dank ÚwÚ and dirty :33 gwound. 
x3 Pwetty souw! ^.^ she x3 duwst nyot >_< wie 
Near ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wack-wuv, ÚwÚ this kill-courtesy. 
^w^ Chuww, ;;w;; upon >w< thy eyes UwU I ^-^ thwow 
All x3 the powew ÚwÚ this >_> chawm xDD doth >_> owe: 
x3 When xDD thou ÚwÚ wak'st wet wuv UwU fowbid 
OwO Sweep :33 his uWu seat on >w< thy >_> eyewid. 
^w^ So awake when UwU I ^w^ am xDD gonye; 
For UwU I ^w^ must nyow to >w< Obewon. uWu Exit 

Entew :3 DEMETWIUS ÚwÚ and x3 HEWENyA, wunnying 

HEWENyA. Stay, ^w^ though xDD thou OwO kiww uWu me, x3 sweet :33 Demetwius. 
DEMETRIUS. UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, hence, ÚwÚ and UwU do nyot >_> haunt ;;w;; me OwO thus. 
HEWENyA. >_< O, wiwt xDD thou xDD dawkwing OwO weave me? Do nyot :3 so. 
DEMETRIUS. OwO Stay on >w< thy ÚwÚ pewiw; UwU I awonye xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. uWu Exit 
HEWENyA. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am x3 out of UwU bweath uWu in ÚwÚ this fond ;;w;; chase! 
uWu The ^.^ mowe x3 my prayer, x3 the wessew >_> is x3 my grace. 
Happy >_> is :33 Hewmia, x3 whewesoe'ew ^.^ she lies, 
For ^.^ she hath blessed ÚwÚ and attractive :3 eyes. 
How ^-^ came her eyes UwU so >_< bwight? ÚwÚ Nyot with ^-^ sawt teaws; 
;;w;; If >_> so, x3 my eyes OwO awe >_> oft'nyew >w< wash'd than hers. 
:3 Nyo, no, UwU I ^w^ am >_< as ugwy >_< as :3 a >_> beaw, 
For x3 beasts :3 that :3 meet ;;w;; me >w< wun OwO away fow x3 feaw; 
Therefore nyo :3 mawvew ^w^ though >_< Demetwius 
UwU Do, >_< as :3 a monster, fwy x3 my x3 pwesence OwO thus. 
>_> What wicked ÚwÚ and dissembling gwass of >_< minye 
Made ;;w;; me compare with UwU Hewmia's >w< sphewy ÚwÚ eynye? 
OwO But who >_> is hewe? Lysander! on x3 the ^-^ gwound! 
^.^ Dead, ow asweep? UwU I >_> see nyo bwood, nyo wound. 
UwU Wysandew, >_> if xDD you x3 wive, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, ^w^ awake. 
WYSANDEW. >w< [Waking] xDD And >w< wun ^w^ thwough fire UwU I xDD wiww fow >w< thy x3 sweet sake. 
ÚwÚ Twanspawent Helena! ÚwÚ Nyatuwe >_< shows awt, 
:33 That ^w^ thwough >w< thy ^w^ bosom x3 makes ;;w;; me >_> see >w< thy ;;w;; heawt. 
Whewe >_> is Demetwius? >_< O, >w< how ;;w;; fit :3 a ;;w;; wowd 
Is :3 that ^-^ viwe xDD nyame to xDD pewish on x3 my swowd! 
HEWENyA. Do nyot >_> say >_> so, Lysander; >_> say nyot :3 so. 
>_> What ^w^ though ^.^ he wuv x3 youw Hermia? Wowd, >_> what UwU though? 
ÚwÚ Yet Hermia still loves uWu you; xDD then be OwO content. 
WYSANDEW. ^.^ Content with >_< Hewmia! >_< Nyo: UwU I UwU do wepent 
uWu The tedious ^w^ minyutes UwU I with her uWu have :33 spent. 
ÚwÚ Nyot Hermia >_> but OwO Hewenya UwU I love: 
Who xDD wiww nyot change :3 a >_> waven fow :3 a ^w^ duv? 
uWu The xDD wiww of x3 man >_> is ^.^ by :33 his reason xDD sway'd, 
xDD And reason ;;w;; says xDD you OwO awe x3 the wowthiew ^-^ maid. 
^w^ Things >_< gwowing OwO awe nyot ripe ÚwÚ untiw uWu theiw :3 season; 
^w^ So I, ^.^ being >_> young, >w< tiww nyow ripe nyot to UwU weason; 
xDD And ^-^ touching nyow x3 the :33 point of human ^-^ skiww, 
^w^ Weason x3 becomes x3 the UwU mawshaw to x3 my :33 wiww, 
xDD And weads ;;w;; me to x3 youw ^w^ eyes, :3 whewe UwU I >_< o'ewwook 
>w< Wuv's ;;w;; stowies, ÚwÚ wwitten uWu in >w< Wuv's wichest uWu book. 
HEWENyA. ÚwÚ Whewefowe UwU was UwU I to ÚwÚ this >_> keen mockewy ^.^ bown? 
x3 When uWu at x3 youw ^.^ hands uWu did UwU I OwO desewve ÚwÚ this scown? 
^-^ Is't nyot UwU enyough, :3 is't nyot UwU enyough, xDD young ^w^ man, 
:33 That UwU I uWu did ;;w;; nyevew, no, nor >_< nyevew ^-^ can, 
Deserve :3 a x3 sweet wook from ;;w;; Demetwius' >_< eye, 
OwO But xDD you ^w^ must fwout x3 my uWu insufficiency? 
^-^ Good troth, xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me wwong, ÚwÚ good sooth, xDD you UwU do, 
^w^ In xDD such uWu disdainfuw ^w^ mannyew ;;w;; me to UwU woo. 
OwO But ^-^ fawe xDD you well; ^.^ pewfowce UwU I ^w^ must x3 confess 
UwU I xDD thought xDD you ;;w;; wowd of ^.^ mowe true xDD gentwenyess. 
>_< O, :3 that :3 a uWu wady of one x3 man x3 wefus'd 
Should of anyothew >_< thewefowe be >_< abus'd! uWu Exit 
WYSANDEW. :33 She sees nyot ^-^ Hewmia. :33 Hewmia, :33 sweep xDD thou uWu thewe; 
xDD And >_< nyevew uWu mayst xDD thou come :3 Wysandew nyeaw! 
For, >_< as :3 a suwfeit of x3 the ^w^ sweetest ^.^ things 
uWu The xDD deepest ;;w;; woathing to x3 the stomach ^.^ bwings, 
:33 Ow >_< as x3 the :3 hewesies :3 that ;;w;; men UwU do OwO weave 
^w^ Awe hated UwU most of UwU those ;;w;; they uWu did >_> deceive, 
^w^ So UwU thou, x3 my suwfeit ÚwÚ and x3 my :3 hewesy, 
Of aww be hated, >_> but x3 the UwU most of me! 
^.^ And, aww x3 my x3 powews, address x3 youw wuv ÚwÚ and ^w^ might 
;;w;; To honour Hewen, ÚwÚ and to be her uWu knyight! uWu Exit 
HERMIA. [Starting] ^-^ Hewp uWu me, UwU Wysandew, OwO hewp OwO me; UwU do >w< thy best 
;;w;; To pluck ÚwÚ this x3 cwawwing serpent from x3 my UwU bweast. 
uWu Ay uWu me, fow ^.^ pity! >_> What :3 a dweam UwU was here! 
UwU Wysandew, wook >w< how UwU I UwU do quake with ;;w;; feaw. 
:33 Methought :3 a serpent eat x3 my >_< heawt away, 
xDD And xDD you sat x3 smiwing uWu at :33 his UwU cwuew pwey. 
Lysander! What, xDD wemov'd? Lysander! ^.^ wowd! 
What, x3 out of hearing gone? No sound, nyo word? 
xDD Awack, :3 whewe OwO awe you? ÚwÚ Speak, >w< an >_> if xDD you :3 heaw; 
ÚwÚ Speak, of aww wuvs! UwU I xDD swoon almost with ;;w;; feaw. 
uWu Nyo? UwU Then UwU I weww >_> pewceive xDD you OwO awe nyot nyigh. 
^-^ Eithew :33 death ow xDD you I'll find immediately. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The wood. ÚwÚ TITANyIA lying ;;w;; asweep 

Entew UwU QUINCE, ^.^ SNyUG, :33 BOTTOM, FLUTE, SNOUT, ÚwÚ and STARVELING 

xDD BOTTOM. ^w^ Awe ^.^ we aww met? 
uWu QUINCE. ^w^ Pat, >_< pat; ÚwÚ and hewe's :3 a marvellous UwU convenyient :33 pwace fow UwU ouw 
;;w;; weheawsaw. This green :3 pwot UwU shaww be UwU ouw ^w^ stage, ÚwÚ this hawthown 
bwake UwU ouw tiwing-house; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU do >w< it uWu in xDD action, >_< as ^.^ we xDD wiww 
UwU do >w< it >w< befowe x3 the uWu Duke. 
xDD BOTTOM. Petew >_< Quince! 
uWu QUINCE. >_> What sayest UwU thou, ^.^ buwwy ;;w;; Bottom? 
xDD BOTTOM. >_> Thewe OwO awe ^.^ things uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD comedy of uWu Pywamus ÚwÚ and ^.^ Thisby :3 that 
xDD wiww >_< nyevew ÚwÚ pwease. ^.^ Fiwst, uWu Pywamus ^w^ must dwaw :3 a xDD swowd to OwO kiww 
:33 himsewf; which x3 the ^.^ wadies ;;w;; cannyot UwU abide. How answew xDD you ^-^ that? 
SNOUT. xDD By'w ^.^ wakin, :3 a ÚwÚ pawwous ;;w;; feaw. 
>w< STAWVEWING. UwU I ^-^ bewieve ^.^ we ^w^ must OwO weave x3 the UwU kiwwing ^.^ out, when aww >_> is 
^-^ donye. 
xDD BOTTOM. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a UwU whit; UwU I uWu have :3 a xDD device to >_< make aww well. :3 Wwite ;;w;; me :3 a 
ÚwÚ pwowogue; ÚwÚ and wet x3 the uWu pwowogue xDD seem to >_> say ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU do nyo x3 hawm 
with UwU ouw swowds, ÚwÚ and :3 that uWu Pywamus >_> is nyot kill'd :33 indeed; ÚwÚ and fow 
x3 the ^.^ mowe xDD bettew assurance, tell them :3 that UwU I uWu Pywamus ^w^ am nyot 
uWu Pywamus >_> but Bottom x3 the ^-^ weavew. This xDD wiww put them x3 out of ;;w;; feaw. 
uWu QUINCE. xDD Weww, ^.^ we xDD wiww uWu have xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ pwowogue; ÚwÚ and >w< it UwU shaww be ÚwÚ wwitten 
uWu in eight ÚwÚ and ;;w;; six. 
xDD BOTTOM. :3 Nyo, >_< make >w< it >w< two mowe; wet >w< it be ÚwÚ wwitten uWu in eight ÚwÚ and xDD eight. 
SNOUT. Will nyot x3 the ^.^ wadies be >_< afeawd of x3 the wion? 
>w< STAWVEWING. UwU I feaw :33 it, UwU I promise OwO you. 
xDD BOTTOM. Masters, xDD you ought to OwO considew with >_> youwsewf to ;;w;; bwing in- 
^w^ God OwO shiewd us!- :3 a wion ^-^ among ^.^ wadies >_> is :3 a UwU most :3 dweadfuw >_> thing; fow 
there >_> is nyot :3 a ^.^ mowe x3 feawfuw xDD wiwd-foww than x3 youw wion x3 wiving; ÚwÚ and 
^.^ we ought to wook to't. 
SNOUT. Therefore anyothew uWu pwowogue ^w^ must tell ^.^ he >_> is nyot :3 a >_> wion. 
xDD BOTTOM. Nyay, xDD you ^w^ must xDD nyame :33 his :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and half :33 his OwO face ^w^ must be :3 seen 
^w^ thwough x3 the ;;w;; wion's neck; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_< himsewf ^w^ must speak :33 thwough, 
:3 saying thus, ow to x3 the same defect: :33 'Wadies,' ow 'Fair x3 wadies, UwU I 
^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ wish xDD you' ow ÚwÚ 'I ^.^ wouwd request xDD you' ow ÚwÚ 'I ^.^ wouwd entweat xDD you 
nyot to ;;w;; feaw, nyot to ^w^ twembwe. OwO My >w< wife fow >w< youws! ;;w;; If xDD you think UwU I 
come ÚwÚ hithew >_< as :3 a wion, >w< it :3 wewe pity of x3 my life. :3 Nyo, UwU I ^w^ am nyo xDD such 
>_> thing; UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 man >_< as othew ;;w;; men >_> awe.' xDD And thewe, :33 indeed, wet ^.^ him 
xDD nyame :33 his :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and tell them x3 pwainwy ^.^ he >_> is Snug x3 the x3 joinyew. 
uWu QUINCE. xDD Weww, >w< it UwU shaww be :3 so. OwO But there >_> is >w< two x3 hawd UwU things- :3 that 
;;w;; is, to ;;w;; bwing x3 the moonlight x3 into :3 a ;;w;; chambew; for, xDD you knyow, uWu Pywamus 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ Thisby :3 meet ^.^ by moonlight. 
SNOUT. ^-^ Doth x3 the ;;w;; moon shine :3 that >w< nyight ^.^ we :33 pway UwU ouw pway? 
xDD BOTTOM. ^-^ A cawendaw, :3 a ^.^ cawendaw! Wook uWu in x3 the almanack; find x3 out 
moonshine, find x3 out xDD moonshinye. 
uWu QUINCE. Yes, >w< it xDD doth shine :3 that OwO nyight. 
xDD BOTTOM. Why, xDD then OwO may xDD you OwO weave :3 a >_< casement of x3 the great x3 chambew 
>_< window, :3 whewe ^.^ we ^.^ pway, >w< open; ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; moon OwO may shine uWu in uWu at x3 the 
>w< casement. 
uWu QUINCE. Ay; ow >_> ewse one ^w^ must come uWu in with :3 a ;;w;; bush of thorns ÚwÚ and :3 a 
wantewn, ÚwÚ and >_> say ^.^ he x3 comes to ^w^ disfiguwe ow to xDD pwesent x3 the ÚwÚ pewson 
of ^.^ Moonshinye. UwU Then there >_> is anyothew thing: ^.^ we ^w^ must uWu have :3 a waww uWu in 
x3 the great ;;w;; chambew; fow uWu Pywamus ÚwÚ and uWu Thisby, ;;w;; says x3 the story, uWu did 
tawk ^w^ thwough x3 the ^-^ chink of :3 a wall. 
SNOUT. >_> You ^.^ can >_< nyevew ;;w;; bwing uWu in :3 a wall. >_> What >_> say UwU you, ;;w;; Bottom? 
xDD BOTTOM. ;;w;; Some x3 man ow othew ^w^ must xDD pwesent ^w^ Waww; ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him uWu have x3 some 
:3 pwastew, ow x3 some xDD woam, ow x3 some :3 wough-cast about :3 him, to :33 signyify 
waww; ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him howd :33 his x3 fingews thus, ÚwÚ and ^w^ thwough :3 that cranny 
UwU shaww uWu Pywamus ÚwÚ and ^.^ Thisby uWu whispew. 
uWu QUINCE. ;;w;; If :3 that OwO may be, xDD then aww >_> is well. ^.^ Come, sit ;;w;; down, every 
;;w;; mothew's x3 son, ÚwÚ and >w< weheawse x3 youw pawts. Pywamus, xDD you begin; when 
xDD you uWu have >w< spoken x3 youw ;;w;; speech, enter x3 into :3 that ^.^ bwake; ÚwÚ and UwU so every 
one accowding to :33 his >_< cue. 

Entew PUCK x3 behind 

UwU PUCK. >_> What ;;w;; hempen homespuns uWu have ^.^ we xDD swagg'wing UwU hewe, 
^w^ So nyeaw x3 the >_> cwadwe of x3 the OwO Faiwy Queen? 
What, :3 a :33 pway towawd! I'll be >w< an >_> auditow; 
^-^ An :33 actow ^w^ too :3 pewhaps, >_> if UwU I >_> see OwO cause. 
uWu QUINCE. ÚwÚ Speak, Pywamus. uWu Thisby, stand forth. 
xDD BOTTOM. uWu Thisby, x3 the fwowews of uWu odious UwU savouws sweet- 
uWu QUINCE. >_< 'Odious'- :33 odowous! 
xDD BOTTOM. -odouws UwU savouws sweet; 
^w^ So hath >w< thy :33 bweath, x3 my deawest ^.^ Thisby deaw. 
OwO But hark, :3 a ^.^ voice! OwO Stay xDD thou >_> but OwO hewe awhiwe, 
xDD And ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by UwU I xDD wiww to uWu thee :3 appeaw. uWu Exit 
UwU PUCK. ^-^ A stwangew uWu Pywamus than ;;w;; e'ew OwO pwayed here! uWu Exit 
;;w;; FWUTE. :3 Must UwU I speak ^.^ nyow? 
uWu QUINCE. Ay, marry, ^w^ must uWu you; fow xDD you ^w^ must understand ^.^ he xDD goes >_> but to 
>_> see :3 a noise :3 that ^.^ he ^-^ heawd, ÚwÚ and >_> is to come ;;w;; again. 
;;w;; FWUTE. :3 Most OwO wadiant Pywamus, UwU most ;;w;; wiwy-white of >_< hue, 
Of colour ^.^ wike x3 the red wose on x3 twiumphant ÚwÚ bwiew, 
:3 Most bwisky juvenal, ÚwÚ and eke UwU most lovely x3 Jew, 
;;w;; As true >_< as uWu twuest horse, :3 that ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew >w< tiwe, 
I'll :3 meet ÚwÚ thee, Pywamus, uWu at xDD Nyinny's ;;w;; tomb. 
uWu QUINCE. uWu 'Nyinyus' >w< tomb,' ;;w;; man! Why, xDD you ^w^ must nyot speak :3 that :33 yet; :3 that 
xDD you answew to Pywamus. >_> You speak aww x3 youw ÚwÚ pawt uWu at ^w^ once, cues, ÚwÚ and 
all. uWu Pywamus entew: x3 youw :33 cue >_> is xDD past; >w< it >_> is 'nyevew OwO tiwe.' 
;;w;; FWUTE. >w< O- ;;w;; As true >_< as uWu twuest horse, :3 that y ^w^ et ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew :3 tiwe. 

^.^ We-entew xDD PUCK, ÚwÚ and BOTTOM with >w< an ass's >_> head 

xDD BOTTOM. ;;w;; If UwU I :3 wewe faiw, uWu Thisby, UwU I :3 wewe >w< onwy ÚwÚ thinye. 
uWu QUINCE. x3 O UwU monstwous! x3 O >_< stwange! We OwO awe UwU haunted. ÚwÚ Pway, ;;w;; mastews! fly, 
;;w;; mastews! Help! 
Exeunt aww >_> but BOTTOM ÚwÚ and PUCK 
UwU PUCK. I'll ;;w;; fowwow uWu you; I'll lead xDD you about :3 a ^-^ wound, 
^.^ Thwough :33 bog, ^w^ thwough ^-^ bush, ^w^ thwough >_> bwake, ^w^ thwough bwiew; 
:3 Sometime :3 a UwU howse I'll be, ÚwÚ sometime :3 a uWu hound, 
^-^ A ^-^ hog, :3 a headless >_> beaw, ÚwÚ sometime :3 a x3 fiwe; 
xDD And ^-^ nyeigh, ÚwÚ and bawk, ÚwÚ and OwO gwunt, ÚwÚ and :33 woaw, ÚwÚ and ^-^ buwn, 
Wike horse, uWu hound, ^-^ hog, >_> beaw, ^w^ fiwe, uWu at every x3 tuwn. 
uWu Exit 
xDD BOTTOM. Why UwU do ;;w;; they >w< wun ÚwÚ away? This >_> is :3 a knyavewy of them to >_< make ;;w;; me 
afeawd. 

^.^ We-entew SNyOUT 

SNOUT. x3 O >_< Bottom, xDD thou awt >_< chang'd! >_> What UwU do UwU I >_> see on thee? 
xDD BOTTOM. >_> What UwU do xDD you see? >_> You >_> see >w< an ass-head of x3 youw OwO own, UwU do you? 
uWu Exit SNyOUT 

^.^ We-entew QUINCE 

uWu QUINCE. :3 Bwess ÚwÚ thee, >_< Bottom, ;;w;; bwess uWu thee! ^.^ Thou awt twanswated. 
uWu Exit 
xDD BOTTOM. UwU I >_> see uWu theiw knyavewy: ÚwÚ this >_> is to >_< make >w< an >w< ass of OwO me; to 
:33 fwight uWu me, >_> if ;;w;; they xDD couwd. OwO But UwU I xDD wiww nyot stir from ÚwÚ this pwace, UwU do 
>_> what ;;w;; they can; UwU I xDD wiww UwU wawk x3 up ÚwÚ and down UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ^w^ sing, :3 that 
;;w;; they UwU shaww hear UwU I ^w^ am nyot afraid. OwO [Sings] 

uWu The >_< ousew ^w^ cock, UwU so black of >_< hue, 
With orange-tawny bill, 
uWu The ^.^ thwostwe with :33 his ^-^ nyote UwU so ^-^ twue, 
uWu The wren with xDD wittwe quiww. 

UwU TITANyIA. >_> What ÚwÚ angew ;;w;; wakes ;;w;; me from x3 my flow'ry bed? 
xDD BOTTOM. OwO [Sings] 
uWu The uWu finch, x3 the ^.^ spawwow, ÚwÚ and x3 the wawk, 
uWu The plain-song ;;w;; cuckoo ^w^ gwey, 
>_< Whose ^-^ nyote full UwU many :3 a x3 man xDD doth >_> mawk, 
xDD And x3 dawes nyot answew nay- 
for, :33 indeed, who ^.^ wouwd uWu set :33 his wit to UwU so >_< foowish :3 a xDD biwd? 
Who ^.^ wouwd UwU give :3 a biwd x3 the xDD he, ^w^ though ^.^ he cwy :33 'cuckoo' >_< nyevew so? 
UwU TITANyIA. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ gentwe mowtaw, ^.^ sing ;;w;; again. 
Mine ear >_> is much x3 enyamouwed of >w< thy UwU nyote; 
^w^ So >_> is >_< minye ^w^ eye ÚwÚ enthwawwed to >w< thy UwU shape; 
xDD And >w< thy >w< faiw viwtue's force ^.^ pewfowce xDD doth move uWu me, 
On x3 the xDD fiwst ^.^ view, to say, to x3 sweaw, UwU I wuv thee. 
xDD BOTTOM. Methinks, ^-^ mistwess, xDD you >_> shouwd uWu have xDD wittwe reason fow x3 that. 
xDD And ^w^ yet, to >_> say x3 the truth, reason ÚwÚ and wuv >_< keep xDD wittwe >_< company 
togethew ;;w;; nyow-a-days. uWu The ^.^ mowe x3 the pity :3 that x3 some xDD honyest 
neighbours xDD wiww nyot >_< make them fwiends. Nyay, UwU I ^.^ can gleek ;;w;; upon 
:33 occasion. 
UwU TITANyIA. ^.^ Thou awt >_< as uWu wise >_< as xDD thou awt beautiful. 
xDD BOTTOM. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, UwU nyeithew; >_> but >_> if UwU I xDD had wit enough to get x3 out of ÚwÚ this 
wood, UwU I uWu have enough to serve >_< minye UwU own x3 tuwn. 
UwU TITANyIA. UwU Out of ÚwÚ this uWu wood UwU do nyot ^.^ desiwe to go; 
^.^ Thou shalt wemain OwO hewe >w< whethew xDD thou wiwt ow >w< nyo. 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^w^ spiwit of nyo ^w^ common rate; 
uWu The ^-^ summew still xDD doth tend ;;w;; upon x3 my ^w^ state; 
xDD And UwU I UwU do wuv ÚwÚ thee; OwO thewefowe, OwO go with x3 me. 
I'll UwU give uWu thee ^-^ faiwies to >_< attend on ÚwÚ thee; 
xDD And ;;w;; they UwU shaww :3 fetch uWu thee :3 jewews from x3 the >w< deep, 
xDD And ^w^ sing, OwO whiwe xDD thou on >w< pwessed fwowews dost ^w^ sweep; 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww OwO puwge >w< thy >w< mowtaw gwossnyess UwU so 
:33 That xDD thou shalt ^.^ wike >w< an airy ^w^ spiwit ÚwÚ go. 
x3 Peasebwossom! Cobweb! ^-^ Moth! ÚwÚ and :33 Mustawdseed! 

Entew ^.^ PEASEBWOSSOM, COBWEB, >w< MOTH, ÚwÚ and x3 MUSTAWDSEED 

PEASEBLOSSOM. Weady. 
>_< COBWEB. xDD And ^.^ I. 
ÚwÚ MOTH. xDD And ^.^ I. 
MUSTAWDSEED. xDD And ^.^ I. 
uWu AWW. Whewe UwU shaww ^.^ we >w< go? 
UwU TITANyIA. ^w^ Be uWu kind ÚwÚ and ^-^ couwteous to ÚwÚ this gentleman; 
Hop uWu in :33 his >w< wawks ÚwÚ and gambol uWu in :33 his eyes; 
UwU Feed ^.^ him with apricocks ÚwÚ and >_< dewbewwies, 
With puwpwe UwU gwapes, green >_> figs, ÚwÚ and mulberries; 
uWu The honey ;;w;; bags ^.^ steaw from x3 the humbwe-bees, 
xDD And fow nyight-tapews crop uWu theiw ;;w;; waxen thighs, 
xDD And >w< wight them uWu at x3 the fiery ^-^ gwow-wowm's ^w^ eyes, 
;;w;; To uWu have x3 my wuv to x3 bed ÚwÚ and to ;;w;; awise; 
xDD And pluck x3 the x3 wings from painted UwU buttewfwies, 
;;w;; To >_> fan x3 the >_> moonbeams from :33 his x3 sweeping :3 eyes. 
Nyod to :3 him, elves, ÚwÚ and UwU do ^.^ him courtesies. 
PEASEBLOSSOM. >w< Haiw, mowtaw! 
>_< COBWEB. Haiw! 
ÚwÚ MOTH. Haiw! 
MUSTAWDSEED. Haiw! 
xDD BOTTOM. UwU I cwy x3 youw worships mercy, :3 heawtiwy; UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw 
^w^ wowship's nyame. 
>_< COBWEB. ÚwÚ Cobweb. 
xDD BOTTOM. UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ desiwe xDD you of ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ acquaintance, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew 
ÚwÚ Cobweb. ;;w;; If UwU I :3 cut x3 my finger, UwU I UwU shaww >_< make bold with OwO you. uWu Youw 
:33 nyame, xDD honyest gentleman? 
PEASEBLOSSOM. Peaseblossom. 
xDD BOTTOM. UwU I pray UwU you, ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to Mistress Squash, x3 youw :33 mothew, ÚwÚ and 
to >_< Mastew Peascod, x3 youw :33 fathew. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew Peaseblossom, UwU I UwU shaww 
^.^ desiwe xDD you of ^.^ mowe >_< acquaintance UwU too. uWu Youw :33 nyame, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
UwU siw? 
MUSTAWDSEED. Mustardseed. 
xDD BOTTOM. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew Mustawdseed, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw uWu patience well. :33 That 
same >w< cowawdwy UwU giant-wike ;;w;; ox-beef hath x3 devouw'd UwU many :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman 
of x3 youw ÚwÚ house. UwU I promise xDD you x3 youw >w< kindwed hath UwU made x3 my eyes UwU watew 
ere now. UwU I ^.^ desiwe xDD you of ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ acquaintance, ÚwÚ good >_< Mastew 
Mustardseed. 
UwU TITANyIA. ^.^ Come, wait ;;w;; upon him; lead ^.^ him to x3 my bowew. 
uWu The ;;w;; moon, UwU methinks, :33 wooks with :3 a ^.^ wat'wy >_< eye; 
xDD And when ^.^ she uWu weeps, ^.^ weeps every xDD wittwe UwU fwowew; 
Wamenting x3 some enfowced >_< chastity. 
ÚwÚ Tie x3 up x3 my love's ;;w;; tongue, ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him siwentwy. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the uWu wood 

Entew OBERON 

OBERON. UwU I wonder >_> if ^-^ Titanyia be xDD awak'd; 
Then, >_> what >w< it UwU was :3 that :3 nyext ^-^ came uWu in her >_< eye, 
>_< Which ^.^ she ^w^ must >_> dote on uWu in extwemity. 

Entew PUCK 

:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my :3 messengew. How now, ^-^ mad :33 spiwit! 
>_> What OwO nyight-wuwe nyow about ÚwÚ this xDD haunted ^w^ gwuv? 
UwU PUCK. OwO My mistwess with :3 a monstew >_> is uWu in love. 
Near to her ^-^ cwose ÚwÚ and OwO consecwated ÚwÚ bowew, 
While ^.^ she UwU was uWu in her dull ÚwÚ and x3 sweeping ^-^ houw, 
^-^ A cwew of >_> patches, wude UwU mechanyicaws, 
:33 That ^.^ wowk fow ^.^ bwead ;;w;; upon xDD Athenyian ;;w;; stawws, 
^.^ Wewe >w< met togethew to >w< weheawse :3 a :33 pway 
ÚwÚ Intended fow great ;;w;; Theseus' >w< nyuptiaw x3 day. 
uWu The OwO shawwowest thickskin of :3 that ^-^ bawwen sort, 
Who uWu Pywamus presented, uWu in uWu theiw spowt 
Fowsook :33 his scene ÚwÚ and ^w^ ent'wed uWu in :3 a ^.^ bwake; 
x3 When UwU I uWu did ^.^ him uWu at ÚwÚ this ^w^ advantage take, 
^-^ An ass's ^w^ nyowe UwU I xDD fixed on :33 his >_> head. 
^-^ Anyon :33 his ^.^ Thisby ^w^ must be x3 answewed, 
xDD And fowth x3 my >_> mimic ^w^ comes. x3 When ;;w;; they ^.^ him :33 spy, 
;;w;; As >w< wiwd ^.^ geese :3 that x3 the xDD cweeping x3 fowwew >_< eye, 
:33 Ow ^w^ wusset-pated ^.^ choughs, UwU many uWu in sort, 
x3 Wising ÚwÚ and cawing uWu at x3 the OwO gun's wepowt, 
Sevew x3 themsewves ÚwÚ and madly :33 sweep x3 the :3 sky, 
^w^ So uWu at :33 his ^.^ sight OwO away :33 his ^w^ fewwows xDD fwy; 
xDD And uWu at UwU ouw stamp UwU hewe, ^-^ o'ew ÚwÚ and ^-^ o'ew one >_< fawws; 
>w< He murder cries, ÚwÚ and OwO hewp from ^.^ Athens calls. 
^-^ Theiw sense OwO thus ÚwÚ weak, wost with uWu theiw OwO feaws OwO thus :33 stwong, 
Made senseless ^.^ things x3 begin to UwU do them wwong, 
For bwiews ÚwÚ and thorns uWu at uWu theiw apparel >w< snyatch; 
;;w;; Some >w< sweeves, x3 some >_> hats, from yielders aww ^.^ things ;;w;; catch. 
UwU I x3 wed them on uWu in ÚwÚ this distracted ;;w;; feaw, 
xDD And left x3 sweet uWu Pywamus twanswated uWu thewe; 
x3 When uWu in :3 that :33 moment, UwU so >w< it ^-^ came to pass, 
^-^ Titanyia wak'd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ stwaightway :3 wov'd >w< an ass. 
OBERON. This ^w^ fawws x3 out xDD bettew than UwU I couwd devise. 
OwO But x3 hast xDD thou yet UwU watch'd x3 the ^w^ Athenyian's eyes 
With x3 the love-juice, >_< as UwU I uWu did bid uWu thee ^-^ do? 
UwU PUCK. UwU I >_> took ^.^ him ^w^ sweeping- :3 that >_> is :33 finyish'd UwU too- 
xDD And x3 the xDD Athenyian OwO woman ^.^ by :33 his x3 side; 
^.^ That, when ^.^ he wak'd, of force ^.^ she ^w^ must be ;;w;; ey'd. 

Entew :3 DEMETWIUS ÚwÚ and HERMIA 

OBERON. ;;w;; Stand close; ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the same Athenian. 
UwU PUCK. This >_> is x3 the ^w^ woman, >_> but nyot ÚwÚ this x3 the man. 
DEMETRIUS. >_< O, >w< why ^.^ webuke xDD you ^.^ him :3 that loves xDD you so? 
Way UwU bweath UwU so UwU bittew on x3 youw UwU bittew foe. 
HERMIA. Now UwU I >_> but :33 chide, >_> but UwU I >_> shouwd use uWu thee ^-^ wowse, 
For UwU thou, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, x3 hast UwU given ;;w;; me cause to cuwse. 
;;w;; If xDD thou x3 hast :3 swain :3 Wysandew uWu in :33 his sweep, 
uWu Being ^-^ o'ew xDD shoes uWu in bwood, ^.^ pwunge uWu in x3 the >w< deep, 
xDD And OwO kiww ;;w;; me UwU too. 
uWu The sun UwU was nyot UwU so true >w< unto x3 the day 
;;w;; As ^.^ he to x3 me. Wouwd ^.^ he uWu have :33 stowen OwO away 
Fwom x3 sweeping Hermia? I'll ^-^ bewieve >_< as >w< soon 
This whole ^.^ eawth OwO may be :33 bow'd, ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 the ;;w;; moon 
^-^ May ^w^ thwough x3 the centwe :3 cweep ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU dispwease 
:3 Hew brother's UwU nyoontide with x3 th' Antipodes. 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be >_> but xDD thou x3 hast ^-^ muwd'wed him; 
^w^ So >_> shouwd :3 a x3 muwdewew wook- UwU so >_< dead, UwU so >w< gwim. 
DEMETRIUS. ^w^ So >_> shouwd x3 the murdered wook; ÚwÚ and UwU so >_> shouwd I, 
Pierc'd ^w^ thwough x3 the >_< heawt with x3 youw xDD stewn cruelty; 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU you, x3 the muwdewew, wook >_< as :3 bwight, >_< as cweaw, 
;;w;; As yonder :3 Venyus uWu in her ^.^ gwimmewing UwU sphewe. 
HERMIA. x3 What's ÚwÚ this to x3 my Wysandew? Whewe >_> is uWu he? 
xDD Ah, ÚwÚ good UwU Demetwius, wiwt xDD thou UwU give ^.^ him me? 
DEMETRIUS. UwU I xDD had rather UwU give :33 his ^.^ cawcass to x3 my UwU hounds. 
HERMIA. Out, dog! ^.^ out, uWu cuw! ^.^ Thou ^-^ dwiv'st ;;w;; me x3 past x3 the bounds 
Of maiden's OwO patience. Hast xDD thou :3 swain :3 him, ^w^ then? 
ÚwÚ Hencefowth be >_< nyevew UwU nyumb'wed ^-^ among :3 men! 
>_< O, >_> once tell true; tell ^-^ twue, even fow x3 my uWu sake! 
:3 Duwst xDD thou uWu have >_> wook'd ;;w;; upon ^.^ him ^.^ being >w< awake, 
xDD And x3 hast xDD thou kill'd ^.^ him x3 sweeping? x3 O >_< bwave ^.^ touch! 
Could nyot :3 a ;;w;; wowm, >w< an >_< addew, UwU do UwU so much? 
^-^ An >_> addew uWu did uWu it; fow with doubwew >_> tongue 
Than xDD thinye, xDD thou sewpent, >_< nyevew >_> addew xDD stung. 
DEMETRIUS. >_> You spend x3 youw passion on :3 a OwO mispwis'd ^-^ mood: 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot guiwty of Lysander's ^-^ bwood; 
x3 Nyow >_> is ^.^ he >_< dead, fow ^.^ aught :3 that UwU I ^.^ can tell. 
HERMIA. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, tell ;;w;; me xDD then :3 that ^.^ he >_> is well. 
DEMETRIUS. ^-^ An >_> if UwU I couwd, >_> what >_> shouwd UwU I get >w< thewefowe? 
HERMIA. ^-^ A OwO pwiviwege >_< nyevew to >_> see ;;w;; me more. 
xDD And from >w< thy hated x3 pwesence ÚwÚ pawt UwU I so; 
xDD See ;;w;; me nyo ^.^ mowe >w< whethew ^.^ he be >_< dead ow >w< nyo. uWu Exit 
DEMETRIUS. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo fowwowing her uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< fiewce ;;w;; vein; 
Here, OwO thewefowe, fow :3 a OwO whiwe UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ wemain. 
^w^ So ^.^ sowwow's heaviness xDD doth heaview gwow 
For >_> debt :3 that >w< bankwupt :33 sweep xDD doth sorrow OwO owe; 
>_< Which nyow uWu in x3 some :3 swight UwU measuwe >w< it xDD wiww :33 pay, 
;;w;; If fow :33 his xDD tendew OwO hewe UwU I >_< make x3 some >_< stay. [Lies down] 
OBERON. >_> What x3 hast xDD thou done? ^.^ Thou x3 hast ^.^ mistaken UwU quite, 
xDD And laid x3 the >_< wuv-juice on x3 some true-love's :33 sight. 
Of >w< thy UwU mispwision ^w^ must ^.^ pewfowce ensue 
;;w;; Some true wuv :3 tuwn'd, ÚwÚ and nyot :3 a UwU fawse >_> tuwn'd true. 
UwU PUCK. UwU Then fate ;;w;; o'ew-wuwes, :3 that, one x3 man uWu howding troth, 
^-^ A miwwion fail, >_< confounding ^-^ oath on uWu oath. 
OBERON. About x3 the uWu wood OwO go ^w^ swiftew than x3 the ;;w;; wind, 
xDD And OwO Hewenya of ^.^ Athens wook xDD thou find; 
All fancy-sick ^.^ she >_> is ÚwÚ and pawe of cheew, 
With :3 sighs of wuv :3 that ;;w;; costs x3 the >w< fwesh :3 bwood deaw. 
^-^ By x3 some xDD iwwusion >_> see xDD thou ;;w;; bwing her ^.^ hewe; 
I'll >_> chawm :33 his eyes OwO against ^.^ she UwU do :3 appeaw. 
UwU PUCK. UwU I x3 go, UwU I go; wook >w< how UwU I x3 go, 
OwO Swiftew than arrow from x3 the Tawtaw's ÚwÚ bow. uWu Exit 
OBERON. :3 Fwowew of ÚwÚ this puwpwe xDD dye, 
Hit with uWu Cupid's ;;w;; awchewy, 
^-^ Sink uWu in apple of :33 his :33 eye. 
x3 When :33 his wuv ^.^ he xDD doth uWu espy, 
Let her shine >_< as UwU gwowiouswy 
;;w;; As x3 the :3 Venyus of x3 the x3 sky. 
x3 When xDD thou ;;w;; wak'st, >_> if ^.^ she be UwU by, 
>w< Beg of her fow UwU wemedy. 

^.^ We-entew PUCK 

UwU PUCK. uWu Captain of UwU ouw ;;w;; faiwy :33 band, 
OwO Hewenya >_> is OwO hewe uWu at uWu hand, 
xDD And x3 the :33 youth >_> mistook ^.^ by ;;w;; me 
x3 Pweading fow :3 a lover's >w< fee; 
Shall ^.^ we uWu theiw fond pageant see? 
Wowd, >_> what foows these :33 mowtaws OwO be! 
OBERON. ;;w;; Stand xDD aside. uWu The noise ;;w;; they >_< make 
Will cause >_< Demetwius to ^w^ awake. 
UwU PUCK. UwU Then xDD wiww >w< two uWu at >_> once ^.^ woo onye. 
:33 That ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be spowt ^.^ awonye; 
xDD And UwU those ^.^ things UwU do best uWu pwease ;;w;; me 
:33 That befaww pwepost'wouswy. 

Entew xDD WYSANDEW ÚwÚ and HEWENyA 

WYSANDEW. Why >_> shouwd xDD you think :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd ^.^ woo uWu in scown? 
>w< Scown ÚwÚ and dewision >_< nyevew come uWu in >w< teaws. 
Wook when UwU I ^w^ vow, UwU I ^.^ weep; ÚwÚ and x3 vows UwU so born, 
^w^ In uWu theiw :3 nyativity aww uWu twuth :3 appeaws. 
How ^.^ can these ^.^ things uWu in ;;w;; me xDD seem ^w^ scown to UwU you, 
ÚwÚ Beawing x3 the x3 badge of ^w^ faith, to ^-^ pwuv them twue? 
HEWENyA. >_> You UwU do advance x3 youw x3 cunnying ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and more. 
x3 When uWu twuth :33 kiwws truth, x3 O UwU deviwish-howy fray! 
;;w;; These x3 vows OwO awe ^-^ Hewmia's. Will xDD you UwU give her xDD o'ew? 
OwO Weigh ^-^ oath with ;;w;; oath, ÚwÚ and xDD you xDD wiww >_< nyothing weigh: 
uWu Youw x3 vows to her ÚwÚ and uWu me, put uWu in >w< two :33 scawes, 
Will even weigh; ÚwÚ and both >_< as >w< wight >_< as ^-^ tawes. 
WYSANDEW. UwU I OwO hod nyo ^w^ judgment when to her UwU I ^.^ swowe. 
HEWENyA. x3 Nyow nyonye, uWu in x3 my UwU mind, nyow xDD you UwU give her >_< o'ew. 
WYSANDEW. >_< Demetwius loves hew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he loves nyot OwO you. 
DEMETRIUS. UwU [Awaking] x3 O Hewen, xDD goddess, nymph, pewfect, divinye! 
;;w;; To x3 what, x3 my xDD wuv, UwU shaww UwU I compare ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ eynye? 
Cwystaw >_> is uWu muddy. >_< O, >w< how ripe uWu in x3 show 
x3 Thy :3 wips, UwU those xDD kissing cherries, >_< tempting grow! 
:33 That puwe UwU congeawed >_< white, xDD high :3 Tauwus' ;;w;; snyow, 
;;w;; Fann'd with x3 the eastern ;;w;; wind, tuwns to :3 a x3 cwow 
x3 When xDD thou ;;w;; howd'st x3 up >w< thy >w< hand. >_< O, wet ;;w;; me :3 kiss 
This ^-^ pwincess of puwe >_< white, ÚwÚ this UwU seaw of uWu bwiss! 
HEWENyA. x3 O ^w^ spite! x3 O >_< heww! UwU I >_> see xDD you aww OwO awe UwU bent 
;;w;; To uWu set OwO against ;;w;; me fow x3 youw :33 mewwiment. 
;;w;; If xDD you :3 wewe ÚwÚ civiw ÚwÚ and UwU knyew couwtesy, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU do ;;w;; me OwO thus much >w< injuwy. 
UwU Can xDD you nyot ^-^ hate uWu me, >_< as UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you UwU do, 
OwO But xDD you ^w^ must ^w^ join uWu in >w< souws to ÚwÚ mock ;;w;; me xDD too? 
;;w;; If xDD you :3 wewe men, >_< as ;;w;; men xDD you OwO awe uWu in show, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd nyot use :3 a ^-^ gentwe uWu wady so: 
;;w;; To ^w^ vow, ÚwÚ and x3 sweaw, ÚwÚ and >_< supewpwaise x3 my xDD pawts, 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you ^-^ hate ;;w;; me with x3 youw >w< heawts. 
>_> You both OwO awe wivaws, ÚwÚ and wuv Hermia; 
xDD And nyow both wivaws, to ÚwÚ mock Hewenya. 
^-^ A ÚwÚ twim ^w^ expwoit, :3 a xDD manwy entewpwise, 
;;w;; To x3 conjuwe tears x3 up uWu in :3 a poor maid's eyes 
With x3 youw >_> dewision! ^-^ Nyonye of x3 nyobwe ;;w;; sowt 
Wouwd UwU so ^-^ offend :3 a xDD viwgin, ÚwÚ and extowt 
^-^ A poor x3 souw's patience, aww to >_< make xDD you ;;w;; spowt. 
WYSANDEW. >_> You OwO awe >_> unkind, ^-^ Demetwius; be nyot so; 
For xDD you wuv ^-^ Hewmia. This xDD you ^.^ knyow UwU I know; 
xDD And UwU hewe, with aww ÚwÚ good :33 wiww, with aww x3 my uWu heawt, 
^w^ In UwU Hewmia's wuv UwU I yield xDD you x3 up x3 my ^w^ pawt; 
xDD And >_> youws of OwO Hewenya to ;;w;; me ^w^ bequeath, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I UwU do wuv ÚwÚ and xDD wiww UwU do >w< tiww x3 my death. 
HEWENyA. xDD Nyevew uWu did >_> mockews uWu waste ^.^ mowe idle >_< bweath. 
DEMETRIUS. UwU Wysandew, >_< keep >w< thy Hermia; UwU I xDD wiww none. 
;;w;; If ;;w;; e'ew UwU I :3 wov'd hew, aww :3 that wuv >_> is ;;w;; gonye. 
OwO My >_< heawt to her >_> but >_< as ÚwÚ guest-wise sojouwn'd, 
xDD And nyow to :33 Hewen >_> is >w< it ^.^ home :3 wetuwn'd, 
>_> Thewe to ^-^ wemain. 
WYSANDEW. Hewen, >w< it >_> is nyot :3 so. 
DEMETRIUS. Disparage nyot x3 the :33 faith xDD thou dost nyot knyow, 
Lest, to >w< thy x3 pewiw, xDD thou aby >w< it deaw. 
Wook :3 whewe >w< thy wuv ;;w;; comes; yonder >_> is >w< thy deaw. 

Entew HERMIA 

HERMIA. xDD Dawk night, :3 that from x3 the ^w^ eye :33 his ^.^ function ^-^ takes, 
uWu The ear ^.^ mowe ^w^ quick of apprehension ^-^ makes; 
^-^ Whewein >w< it xDD doth impaiw x3 the ^-^ seeing sense, 
^.^ It >w< pays x3 the hearing :3 doubwe ;;w;; wecompense. 
^.^ Thou awt nyot ^.^ by >_< minye >_< eye, UwU Wysandew, xDD found; 
Mine eaw, UwU I >_> thank :33 it, ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me to >w< thy UwU sound. 
OwO But >w< why unkindly :33 didst xDD thou OwO weave ;;w;; me so? 
WYSANDEW. Why >_> shouwd ^.^ he xDD stay ÚwÚ whom wuv xDD doth x3 pwess to >w< go? 
HERMIA. >_> What wuv couwd x3 pwess :3 Wysandew from x3 my ^-^ side? 
WYSANDEW. Lysander's xDD wuv, :3 that ^.^ wouwd nyot wet ^.^ him bide- 
Faiw Helena, who ^.^ mowe UwU engiwds x3 the >w< nyight 
Than aww >_< yon fiery oes ÚwÚ and eyes of light. 
Why >_< seek'st xDD thou me? Could nyot ÚwÚ this >_< make uWu thee ^.^ knyow 
uWu The ^-^ hate UwU I OwO bawe uWu thee UwU made ;;w;; me OwO weave uWu thee so? 
HERMIA. >_> You speak nyot >_< as xDD you >_> think; >w< it ;;w;; cannyot >w< be. 
HEWENyA. Lo, ^.^ she >_> is one of ÚwÚ this :3 confedewacy! 
Now UwU I >_> pewceive ;;w;; they uWu have ÚwÚ conjoin'd aww >w< thwee 
;;w;; To fashion ÚwÚ this UwU fawse spowt uWu in x3 spite of x3 me. 
Injurious >_< Hewmia! UwU most uWu ungwatefuw x3 maid! 
:3 Have xDD you >_> conspiw'd, uWu have xDD you with these ^w^ contwiv'd, 
;;w;; To x3 bait ;;w;; me with ÚwÚ this fouw ^w^ dewision? 
Is aww x3 the counsel :3 that ^.^ we >w< two uWu have shar'd, 
uWu The sisters' ^w^ vows, x3 the >_> houws :3 that ^.^ we uWu have >_< spent, 
x3 When ^.^ we uWu have ;;w;; chid x3 the >_< hasty-footed time 
For >w< pawting >w< us- >_< O, >_> is aww OwO fowgot? 
All >w< schoow-days' ^-^ fwiendship, childhood innyocence? 
We, :33 Hewmia, ^.^ wike >w< two :33 awtificiaw uWu gods, 
:3 Have with UwU ouw needles created both one x3 fwowew, 
UwU Both on one sampwew, :3 sitting on one :3 cushion, 
UwU Both ;;w;; wawbwing of one song, both uWu in one ;;w;; key; 
;;w;; As >_> if UwU ouw ^.^ hands, UwU ouw :33 sides, UwU voices, ÚwÚ and x3 minds, 
xDD Had :33 been incowpowate. ^w^ So ^.^ we ^-^ gwew together, 
Wike to :3 a :3 doubwe :3 chewwy, ÚwÚ seeming parted, 
OwO But yet >w< an >w< unyion uWu in ^-^ pawtition, 
Two lovely >_< bewwies moulded on one stern; 
So, with >w< two ÚwÚ seeming >w< bodies, >_> but one heawt; 
Two of x3 the ÚwÚ fiwst, ^.^ wike coats uWu in uWu hewawdwy, 
>_> Due >_> but to one, ÚwÚ and ^.^ cwownyed with one >w< cwest. 
xDD And xDD wiww xDD you OwO went UwU ouw UwU ancient wuv asunder, 
;;w;; To ^w^ join with ;;w;; men uWu in :33 scownying x3 youw poor >w< fwiend? 
^.^ It >_> is nyot ;;w;; fwiendwy, UwU 'tis nyot >_> maidenwy; 
Our ;;w;; sex, >_< as weww >_< as I, OwO may UwU chide xDD you fow :33 it, 
;;w;; Though UwU I awonye UwU do x3 feew x3 the >w< injuwy. 
HERMIA. UwU I ^w^ am x3 amazed uWu at x3 youw passionyate words; 
UwU I ^w^ scown xDD you x3 nyot; >w< it ;;w;; seems :3 that xDD you ^w^ scown x3 me. 
HEWENyA. :3 Have xDD you nyot uWu set UwU Wysandew, >_< as uWu in ^.^ scown, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; fowwow ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and praise x3 my eyes ÚwÚ and ^.^ face? 
xDD And UwU made x3 youw othew xDD wuv, UwU Demetwius, 
Who even >_> but nyow uWu did :33 spuwn ;;w;; me with :33 his xDD foot, 
;;w;; To caww ;;w;; me xDD goddess, nymph, divine, ÚwÚ and wawe, 
:33 Pwecious, cewestiaw? ÚwÚ Whewefowe xDD speaks ^.^ he ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; To her ^.^ he ;;w;; hates? xDD And ^-^ whewefowe xDD doth :3 Wysandew 
>w< Deny x3 youw xDD wuv, UwU so rich within :33 his x3 souw, 
xDD And xDD tendew uWu me, xDD fowsooth, :33 affection, 
OwO But ^.^ by x3 youw >w< setting ;;w;; on, ^.^ by x3 youw ^.^ consent? 
>_> What ^w^ though UwU I be nyot UwU so uWu in xDD gwace >_< as UwU you, 
^w^ So UwU hung ;;w;; upon with xDD wuv, UwU so fortunate, 
OwO But >w< misewabwe :3 most, to wuv unwov'd? 
This xDD you >_> shouwd pity rather than >w< despise. 
HERMIA. UwU I understand nyot >_> what xDD you >_> mean ^.^ by UwU this. 
HEWENyA. Ay, xDD do- uWu pewsevew, OwO countewfeit >_> sad looks, 
^-^ Make mouths ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me when UwU I turn x3 my back, 
>_> Wink >_< each uWu at >w< othew; howd x3 the x3 sweet xDD jest xDD up; 
This sport, weww ;;w;; cawwied, UwU shaww be ÚwÚ chwonyicwed. 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu have xDD any pity, gwace, ow :3 mannyews, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd nyot >_< make ;;w;; me xDD such >w< an awgument. 
OwO But ^-^ fawe OwO ye well; UwU 'tis ;;w;; pawtwy x3 my UwU own ^w^ fauwt, 
>_< Which UwU death, ow >_> absence, >w< soon UwU shaww UwU wemedy. 
WYSANDEW. Stay, ^-^ gentwe Hewenya; hear x3 my OwO excuse; 
OwO My xDD wuv, x3 my :3 wife, x3 my x3 souw, >w< faiw Helena! 
HEWENyA. x3 O excellent! 
HERMIA. OwO Sweet, UwU do nyot ^w^ scown her :3 so. 
DEMETRIUS. ;;w;; If ^.^ she ;;w;; cannyot entreat, UwU I ^.^ can compew. 
WYSANDEW. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst compel nyo ^.^ mowe than ^.^ she >_< entweat; 
x3 Thy threats uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ stwength than her xDD weak >_< pwayews 
Hewen, UwU I wuv ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ by x3 my >w< wife UwU I do; 
UwU I >_< sweaw ^.^ by :3 that which UwU I xDD wiww wose fow uWu thee 
;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv ^.^ him UwU fawse :3 that ;;w;; says UwU I wuv uWu thee not. 
DEMETRIUS. UwU I >_> say UwU I wuv uWu thee ^.^ mowe than ^.^ he ^.^ can xDD do. 
WYSANDEW. ;;w;; If xDD thou >_> say >_> so, :3 withdwaw, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwuv >w< it UwU too. 
DEMETRIUS. OwO Quick, x3 come. 
HERMIA. UwU Wysandew, ^w^ wheweto tends aww :3 this? 
WYSANDEW. :33 Away, xDD you x3 Ethiope! 
DEMETRIUS. :3 Nyo, no, ^.^ he xDD wiww 
Seem to bweak >_< woose- OwO take on >_< as xDD you ^.^ wouwd follow, 
OwO But yet come not. >_> You OwO awe :3 a >w< tame xDD man; :3 go! 
WYSANDEW. Hang ^w^ off, xDD thou cat, xDD thou >w< buww; ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ thing, wet UwU woose, 
:33 Ow UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; shake uWu thee from ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a serpent. 
HERMIA. Why OwO awe xDD you grown UwU so >_> wude? >_> What change >_> is uWu this, 
ÚwÚ Sweet love? 
WYSANDEW. x3 Thy love! Out, OwO tawny uWu Tawtaw, out! 
Out, >_< woathed ^-^ med'cinye! x3 O hated >_> potion, UwU hence! 
HERMIA. Do xDD you nyot UwU jest? 
HEWENyA. Yes, sooth; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU do OwO you. 
WYSANDEW. UwU Demetwius, UwU I xDD wiww >_< keep x3 my ;;w;; wowd with thee. 
DEMETRIUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had x3 youw bond; fow UwU I >_> pewceive 
^-^ A xDD weak :3 bond ÚwÚ howds uWu you; I'll nyot :33 twust x3 youw OwO wowd. 
WYSANDEW. What, >_> shouwd UwU I ÚwÚ huwt hew, strike hew, OwO kiww her dead? 
Awthough UwU I ^-^ hate hew, I'll nyot x3 hawm her :3 so. 
HERMIA. What! UwU Can xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me :33 gweatew x3 hawm than x3 hate? 
Hate me! OwO whewefowe? x3 O me! >_> what news, x3 my love? 
^w^ Am nyot UwU I Hermia? ^w^ Awe nyot xDD you Wysandew? 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as >w< faiw nyow >_< as UwU I UwU was ^-^ ewewhiwe. 
Since >w< nyight xDD you :3 wov'd OwO me; yet xDD since >w< nyight xDD you left x3 me. 
Why >w< then, xDD you left me- >_< O, x3 the gods >_< fowbid!- 
^w^ In earnest, UwU shaww UwU I ^.^ say? 
WYSANDEW. Ay, ^.^ by x3 my wife! 
xDD And >_< nyevew uWu did ^.^ desiwe to >_> see uWu thee more. 
Therefore be x3 out of hope, of ^.^ question, of doubt; 
^w^ Be cewtain, >_< nyothing twuew; UwU 'tis nyo xDD jest 
:33 That UwU I UwU do ^-^ hate uWu thee ÚwÚ and wuv Hewenya. 
HERMIA. x3 O me! xDD you juggler! xDD you cankerblossom! 
>_> You UwU thief of love! What! :3 Have xDD you come ^.^ by night, 
xDD And :3 stow'n x3 my love's >_< heawt from him? 
HEWENyA. xDD Finye, :33 i' >_< faith! 
:3 Have xDD you nyo OwO modesty, nyo >_< maiden UwU shame, 
No :33 touch of bashfuwnyess? What! Will xDD you teaw 
Impatient ^-^ answews from x3 my ^-^ gentwe ^.^ tongue? 
OwO Fie, fie! xDD you >_< countewfeit, xDD you OwO puppet you! 
HERMIA. 'Puppet!' >w< why so? Ay, :3 that uWu way xDD goes x3 the >_< game. 
Now UwU I >_> pewceive :3 that ^.^ she hath UwU made compare 
Between UwU ouw ^-^ statuwes; ^.^ she hath ;;w;; uwg'd her :3 height; 
xDD And with her pewsonyage, her ;;w;; taww pewsonyage, 
:3 Hew xDD height, xDD fowsooth, ^.^ she hath pwevaiw'd with ^.^ him. 
xDD And OwO awe xDD you grown UwU so xDD high uWu in :33 his >_> esteem 
>_< Because UwU I ^w^ am UwU so dwarfish ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ wow? 
How wow ^w^ am I, xDD thou painted ;;w;; maypowe? :33 Speak. 
How wow ^w^ am >_< I? UwU I ^w^ am nyot yet UwU so wow 
OwO But :3 that x3 my >_< nyaiws ^.^ can :3 weach >w< unto ^.^ thinye :3 eyes. 
HEWENyA. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ though xDD you ÚwÚ mock uWu me, xDD gentwemen, 
Let her nyot ÚwÚ huwt x3 me. UwU I UwU was >_< nyevew >_> cuwst; 
UwU I uWu have nyo ^w^ gift uWu at aww uWu in shrewishness; 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a >w< wight >_< maid fow x3 my cowawdice; 
Let her nyot strike x3 me. >_> You ^-^ pewhaps OwO may >_< think, 
>_< Because ^.^ she >_> is ^-^ something >_< wowew than myself, 
:33 That UwU I ^.^ can >_< match her. 
HERMIA. 'Wowew' hark, ;;w;; again. 
HEWENyA. ^-^ Good :33 Hewmia, UwU do nyot be UwU so UwU bittew with x3 me. 
UwU I evewmowe uWu did wuv UwU you, :33 Hewmia, 
Did OwO evew >_< keep x3 youw OwO counsews, >_< nyevew wrong'd uWu you; 
:3 Save :3 that, uWu in wuv >w< unto UwU Demetwius, 
UwU I told ^.^ him of x3 youw uWu steawth >w< unto ÚwÚ this wood. 
>w< He fowwowed uWu you; fow wuv UwU I fowwowed him; 
OwO But ^.^ he hath ;;w;; chid ;;w;; me hence, ÚwÚ and threat'ned ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To strike uWu me, :33 spuwn uWu me, x3 nyay, to OwO kiww ;;w;; me :3 too; 
xDD And now, UwU so xDD you xDD wiww wet ;;w;; me :33 quiet x3 go, 
;;w;; To ^.^ Athens xDD wiww UwU I UwU beaw x3 my >w< fowwy back, 
xDD And ;;w;; fowwow xDD you nyo fuwthew. Let ;;w;; me ÚwÚ go. 
>_> You >_> see >w< how :33 simpwe ÚwÚ and >w< how fond UwU I am. 
HERMIA. Why, get xDD you ÚwÚ gonye! Who :3 is't :3 that hindews you? 
HEWENyA. ^-^ A >_< foowish >_< heawt :3 that UwU I OwO weave OwO hewe behind. 
HERMIA. What! with Wysandew? 
HEWENyA. With :33 Demetwius. 
WYSANDEW. ^w^ Be nyot afwaid; ^.^ she UwU shaww nyot x3 hawm ÚwÚ thee, Hewenya. 
DEMETRIUS. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, ^.^ she UwU shaww >_> nyot, ^w^ though xDD you OwO take her part. 
HEWENyA. >_< O, when ^.^ she >_> is ;;w;; angwy, ^.^ she >_> is >_> keen ÚwÚ and UwU shwewd; 
:33 She UwU was :3 a vixen when ^.^ she OwO went to ÚwÚ schoow; 
^.^ And, ^w^ though ^.^ she be >_> but UwU wittwe, ^.^ she >_> is :33 fiewce. 
HERMIA. 'Little' x3 again! Nyothing >_> but 'low' ÚwÚ and 'wittwe'! 
Why xDD wiww xDD you suffew her to fwout ;;w;; me >_< thus? 
Let ;;w;; me come to her. 
WYSANDEW. >_< Get xDD you >w< gonye, xDD you dwarf; 
>_> You minyimus, of hind'wing knot-grass ÚwÚ made; 
>_> You bead, xDD you ÚwÚ acown. 
DEMETRIUS. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too uWu officious 
^w^ In her behawf :3 that scorns x3 youw ^w^ sewvices. 
Let her ^.^ awonye; speak nyot of Hewenya; 
^.^ Take nyot her ^w^ pawt; fow >_> if xDD thou dost intend 
xDD Nyevew UwU so xDD wittwe x3 show of wuv to hew, 
^.^ Thou shalt aby :3 it. 
WYSANDEW. Now ^.^ she ÚwÚ howds ;;w;; me not. 
Now follow, >_> if xDD thou uWu daw'st, to >_> twy x3 whose wight, 
Of ^.^ thinye ow >_> minye, >_> is UwU most uWu in Hewenya. 
DEMETRIUS. Fowwow! Nyay, I'll OwO go with ÚwÚ thee, >_< cheek ^.^ by joww. 
Exeunt xDD WYSANDEW ÚwÚ and :3 DEMETWIUS 
HERMIA. >_< You, ^-^ mistwess, aww ÚwÚ this coiw >_> is ^-^ wong of OwO you. 
Nyay, OwO go nyot back. 
HEWENyA. UwU I xDD wiww nyot :33 twust UwU you, x3 I; 
x3 Nyow longer xDD stay uWu in x3 youw curst UwU company. 
uWu Youw ^.^ hands than >_< minye OwO awe quickew fow :3 a :33 fway; 
OwO My UwU wegs OwO awe longer x3 though, to >w< wun xDD away. uWu Exit 
HERMIA. UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ amaz'd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what to :3 say. uWu Exit 
OBERON. This >_> is >w< thy nyegwigence. UwU Stiww xDD thou ^-^ mistak'st, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ^-^ committ'st >w< thy knaveries ÚwÚ wiwfuwwy. 
UwU PUCK. :3 Bewieve uWu me, x3 king of xDD shadows, UwU I mistook. 
Did nyot xDD you tell ;;w;; me UwU I >_> shouwd ^.^ knyow x3 the x3 man 
^-^ By x3 the xDD Athenyian xDD gawments ^.^ he xDD had ^-^ on? 
xDD And UwU so uWu faw blameless ;;w;; pwuvs x3 my uWu entewpwise 
:33 That UwU I uWu have 'nyointed >w< an ^w^ Athenyian's eyes; 
xDD And UwU so uWu faw ^w^ am UwU I uWu gwad >w< it UwU so uWu did sort, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this uWu theiw jangwing UwU I >_> esteem :3 a ;;w;; spowt. 
OBERON. ^.^ Thou seest these ^w^ wuvws >_> seek :3 a :33 pwace to ^w^ fight. 
Hie OwO thewefowe, Wobin, uvwcast x3 the ^w^ nyight; 
uWu The ^-^ stawwy welkin UwU cuvw xDD thou :3 anyon 
With ;;w;; dwooping >_> fog >_< as black >_< as OwO Achewon, 
xDD And lead these testy xDD wivaws UwU so astray 
;;w;; As one come nyot within another's >_> way. 
Wike to :3 Wysandew ÚwÚ sometime fwame >w< thy ;;w;; tongue, 
UwU Then stir >_< Demetwius x3 up with UwU bittew >_> wwong; 
xDD And ÚwÚ sometime waiw xDD thou ^.^ wike ^-^ Demetwius; 
xDD And from >_< each othew wook xDD thou lead them thus, 
Tiww ^-^ o'ew uWu theiw ^w^ bwows >w< death-countewfeiting :33 sweep 
With weaden UwU wegs ÚwÚ and >_< batty x3 wings xDD doth x3 cweep. 
UwU Then xDD cwush ÚwÚ this OwO hewb x3 into Lysander's >_< eye; 
>_< Whose liquor hath ÚwÚ this virtuous ^.^ pwopewty, 
;;w;; To OwO take from thence aww ewwow with :33 his ^w^ might 
xDD And >_< make :33 his ^w^ eyebawws ;;w;; woww with uWu wonted :33 sight. 
x3 When ;;w;; they :3 nyext x3 wake, aww ÚwÚ this dewision 
Shall xDD seem :3 a dweam ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fwuitwess ;;w;; vision; 
xDD And back to ^.^ Athens UwU shaww x3 the ^w^ wuvws xDD wend 
With :33 weague x3 whose uWu date >w< tiww :33 death UwU shaww >_< nyevew OwO end. 
Whiwes UwU I uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ affaiw UwU do uWu thee UwU empwoy, 
I'll to x3 my queen, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beg her Indian ^.^ boy; 
xDD And xDD then UwU I xDD wiww her OwO chawmed ^w^ eye wewease 
Fwom uWu monstew's ^.^ view, ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ things UwU shaww be peace. 
UwU PUCK. OwO My ;;w;; faiwy uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this ^w^ must be donye with xDD haste, 
For night's UwU swift dragons :3 cut x3 the :33 cwouds full x3 fast; 
xDD And yonder uWu shinyes ^-^ Auwowa's ;;w;; hawbingew, 
At x3 whose appwoach ^w^ ghosts, >w< wand'wing OwO hewe ÚwÚ and thewe, 
uWu Twoop ^.^ home to chuwchyawds. Damned ;;w;; spiwits aww 
:33 That uWu in cross-ways ÚwÚ and xDD fwoods uWu have buwiaw, 
x3 Awweady to uWu theiw OwO wowmy beds OwO awe >w< gonye, 
For feaw xDD west day >_> shouwd wook uWu theiw UwU shames xDD upon; 
^-^ They uWu wiwfuwwy x3 themsewves >w< exiw'd from wight, 
xDD And ^w^ must fow ^.^ aye consort with bwack-bwow'd OwO nyight. 
OBERON. OwO But ^.^ we OwO awe ;;w;; spiwits of anyothew :3 sowt: 
UwU I with x3 the Mownying's wuv uWu have ;;w;; oft UwU made >_< spowt; 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 a forester, x3 the ^.^ gwuvs OwO may ;;w;; twead 
Even >w< tiww x3 the eastern >_< gate, aww fiery ;;w;; wed, 
Openying on Nyeptunye with >w< faiw blessed ;;w;; beams, 
Tuwns x3 into >w< yewwow gowd :33 his ^-^ sawt green uWu stweams. 
But, >w< nyotwithstanding, xDD haste, >_< make nyo >_< deway; 
We OwO may ^w^ effect ÚwÚ this business yet ere x3 day. uWu Exit OBERON 
UwU PUCK. Up ÚwÚ and ;;w;; down, x3 up ÚwÚ and ;;w;; down, 
UwU I xDD wiww lead them x3 up ÚwÚ and down. 
UwU I ^w^ am feaw'd uWu in field ÚwÚ and xDD town. 
Goblin, lead them x3 up ÚwÚ and down. 
:3 Hewe x3 comes onye. 

Entew xDD WYSANDEW 

WYSANDEW. Whewe awt UwU thou, OwO pwoud Demetwius? ^w^ Speak xDD thou now. 
UwU PUCK. Here, villain, drawn ÚwÚ and weady. Whewe awt thou? 
WYSANDEW. UwU I xDD wiww be with uWu thee stwaight. 
UwU PUCK. Follow uWu me, >w< then, 
;;w;; To plainer :33 gwound. uWu Exit xDD WYSANDEW >_< as fowwowing x3 the uWu voice 

Entew :3 DEMETWIUS 

DEMETRIUS. UwU Wysandew, speak ;;w;; again. 
^.^ Thou >_> wunyaway, xDD thou xDD cowawd, awt xDD thou fled? 
Speak! ^w^ In x3 some ;;w;; bush? Whewe dost xDD thou hide >w< thy head? 
UwU PUCK. ^.^ Thou xDD cowawd, awt xDD thou ^.^ bwagging to x3 the ÚwÚ staws, 
Tewwing x3 the >_< bushes :3 that xDD thou wook'st fow ^-^ waws, 
xDD And wiwt nyot come? ^.^ Come, recreant, come, xDD thou child; 
I'll whip uWu thee with :3 a wod. >w< He >_> is >_> defiw'd 
:33 That ÚwÚ dwaws :3 a xDD swowd on thee. 
DEMETRIUS. Yea, awt xDD thou OwO thewe? 
UwU PUCK. Follow x3 my voice; we'll >_> twy nyo manhood hewe. Exeunt 

^.^ We-entew xDD WYSANDEW 

WYSANDEW. >w< He xDD goes >w< befowe uWu me, ÚwÚ and still x3 dawes ;;w;; me xDD on; 
x3 When UwU I come :3 whewe ^.^ he calls, xDD then ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; gonye. 
uWu The viwwain >_> is much x3 wightew heel'd than ^.^ I. 
UwU I fowwowed OwO fast, >_> but fastew ^.^ he uWu did fly, 
:33 That ;;w;; fawwen ^w^ am UwU I uWu in dark unyeven :3 way, 
xDD And OwO hewe xDD wiww xDD west x3 me. [Lies down] ^.^ Come, xDD thou ^-^ gentwe x3 day. 
For >_> if >_> but >_> once xDD thou x3 show ;;w;; me >w< thy ^w^ gwey wight, 
I'll find UwU Demetwius, ÚwÚ and xDD wevenge ÚwÚ this spite. >_< [Sweeps] 

^.^ We-entew PUCK ÚwÚ and :3 DEMETWIUS 

UwU PUCK. >w< Ho, :3 ho, ho! x3 Cowawd, >w< why UwU com'st xDD thou ^w^ nyot? 
DEMETRIUS. uWu Abide uWu me, >_> if xDD thou daw'st; fow weww UwU I uWu wot 
^.^ Thou >w< wun'st >w< befowe uWu me, shifting every pwace, 
xDD And ^w^ daw'st nyot x3 stand, nor wook ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the ;;w;; face. 
Whewe awt xDD thou ^.^ nyow? 
UwU PUCK. :3 Come hithew; UwU I ^w^ am hewe. 
DEMETRIUS. Nyay, >w< then, xDD thou ^.^ mock'st x3 me. ^.^ Thou shalt UwU buy ÚwÚ this deaw, 
;;w;; If OwO evew UwU I >w< thy OwO face ^.^ by ^-^ daywight see; 
>_> Nyow, OwO go >w< thy >_> way. ;;w;; Faintnyess constwainyeth ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To UwU measuwe x3 out x3 my :33 wength on ÚwÚ this UwU cowd :3 bed. 
^-^ By day's appwoach wook to be ^.^ visited. 
[Lies down ÚwÚ and sweeps] 

Entew HEWENyA 

HEWENyA. x3 O ÚwÚ weawy night, x3 O ^-^ wong ÚwÚ and tedious night, 
Abate >w< thy xDD houws! OwO Shinye UwU comfowts from x3 the OwO east, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may back to ^.^ Athens ^.^ by daylight, 
Fwom these :3 that x3 my poor >_< company detest. 
xDD And sweep, :3 that x3 sometimes x3 shuts x3 up ^.^ sowwow's >_< eye, 
xDD Steaw ;;w;; me ^-^ awhiwe from >_< minye UwU own UwU company. >_< [Sweeps] 
UwU PUCK. ÚwÚ Yet >_> but xDD thwee? :3 Come one mowe; 
Two of both >_> kinds x3 makes x3 up fouw. 
:3 Hewe ^.^ she ;;w;; comes, curst ÚwÚ and OwO sad. 
x3 Cupid >_> is :3 a knavish lad, 
^-^ Thus to >_< make poor femawes >_> mad. 

Entew HERMIA 

HERMIA. xDD Nyevew UwU so OwO weawy, >_< nyevew UwU so uWu in woe, 
>_< Bedabbwed with x3 the ;;w;; dew, ÚwÚ and :33 town with bwiews, 
UwU I ^.^ can nyo further cwaww, nyo further go; 
OwO My UwU wegs ^.^ can >_< keep nyo >_> pace with x3 my :33 desiwes. 
:3 Hewe xDD wiww UwU I xDD west ;;w;; me >w< tiww x3 the bweak of x3 day. 
^w^ Heavens OwO shiewd UwU Wysandew, >_> if ;;w;; they >_> mean :3 a fray! 
[Lies down ÚwÚ and sweeps] 
UwU PUCK. On x3 the x3 gwound 
OwO Sweep >w< sound; 
I'll apply 
;;w;; To x3 youw >_< eye, 
^w^ Gentwe ^.^ wuvw, UwU wemedy. 
:3 [Squeezing x3 the >w< juice on WYSANDEW'S ^-^ eyes] 
x3 When xDD thou ;;w;; wak'st, 
^.^ Thou :33 tak'st 
;;w;; Twue delight 
^w^ In x3 the ^.^ sight 
Of >w< thy xDD fowmew >_> wady's >_< eye; 
xDD And x3 the countwy pwuvwb ^-^ knyown, 
:33 That every x3 man >_> shouwd OwO take :33 his OwO own, 
^w^ In x3 youw UwU waking UwU shaww be shown: 
x3 Jack UwU shaww uWu have UwU Jiww; 
x3 Nyought UwU shaww OwO go iww; 
uWu The x3 man UwU shaww uWu have :33 his ÚwÚ mawe OwO again, ÚwÚ and aww UwU shaww be well. 
uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The wood. LYSANDER, UwU DEMETWIUS, x3 HEWENyA, ÚwÚ and ^-^ HEWMIA, lying ;;w;; asweep 

Entew ÚwÚ TITANyIA ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Bottom; ^.^ PEASEBWOSSOM, COBWEB, >w< MOTH, MUSTAWDSEED, 
ÚwÚ and othew uWu FAIWIES UwU attending; 
OBERON behind, unseen 

UwU TITANyIA. ^.^ Come, sit uWu thee down ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this flow'ry ^.^ bed, 
While UwU I >w< thy :3 amiabwe >_> cheeks UwU do >_> coy, 
xDD And OwO stick OwO musk-woses uWu in >w< thy sleek x3 smooth head, 
xDD And :3 kiss >w< thy >w< faiw large ;;w;; eaws, x3 my ^-^ gentwe ^-^ joy. 
xDD BOTTOM. :3 Whewe's UwU Peasebwossom? 
PEASEBLOSSOM. Weady. 
xDD BOTTOM. ;;w;; Scwatch x3 my head, Peaseblossom. 
:3 Whewe's >_> Mounsieuw >_> Cobweb? 
>_< COBWEB. Weady. 
xDD BOTTOM. >_> Mounsieuw >_> Cobweb; ÚwÚ good xDD mounsieuw, get xDD you x3 youw >_< weapons uWu in 
x3 youw uWu hand ÚwÚ and OwO kiww ;;w;; me :3 a ^w^ wed-hipp'd UwU humbwe-bee on x3 the ;;w;; top of :3 a 
thistle; x3 and, ÚwÚ good xDD mounsieuw, ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me x3 the xDD honyey-bag. Do nyot fret 
>_> youwsewf ^w^ too much uWu in x3 the xDD action, mounsieuw; x3 and, ÚwÚ good xDD mounsieuw, 
uWu have :3 a :3 cawe x3 the :33 honyey-bag bweak x3 nyot; UwU I ^.^ wouwd be loath to uWu have xDD you 
^.^ uvwfwown with :3 a uWu honyey-bag, ;;w;; signyiow. :3 Whewe's >_> Mounsieuw 
ÚwÚ Mustawdseed? 
MUSTAWDSEED. Weady. 
xDD BOTTOM. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw :33 nyeaf, >_> Mounsieuw Mustardseed. >_> Pway UwU you, OwO weave 
x3 youw ^.^ cuwtsy, ÚwÚ good mounsieur. 
MUSTAWDSEED. x3 What's x3 youw xDD wiww? 
xDD BOTTOM. UwU Nyothing, ÚwÚ good xDD mounsieuw, >_> but to OwO hewp >w< Cavawewy Cobweb to 
>_> scwatch. UwU I ^w^ must to x3 the ;;w;; bawbew's, mounsieuw; fow uWu methinks UwU I ^w^ am 
marvellous haiwy about x3 the face; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am xDD such :3 a xDD tendew ass, >_> if 
x3 my >_< haiw UwU do >_> but tickwe ;;w;; me UwU I ^w^ must >_> scwatch. 
UwU TITANyIA. What, wiwt xDD thou hear x3 some ^.^ music, x3 my x3 sweet love? 
xDD BOTTOM. UwU I uWu have :3 a ^.^ weasonyabwe ÚwÚ good ear uWu in >_> music. :3 Wet's uWu have x3 the >w< tongs 
ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD bonyes. 
UwU TITANyIA. :33 Ow say, x3 sweet xDD wuv, >_> what xDD thou uWu desiwest to ^.^ eat. 
xDD BOTTOM. ^-^ Twuwy, :3 a peck of ÚwÚ pwuvndew; UwU I couwd xDD munch x3 youw ÚwÚ good xDD dwy 
^-^ oats. Methinks UwU I uWu have :3 a great ^.^ desiwe to :3 a bottwe of hay. ^-^ Good 
hay, x3 sweet hay, hath nyo UwU fewwow. 
UwU TITANyIA. UwU I uWu have :3 a >w< ventuwous ;;w;; faiwy :3 that UwU shaww >_> seek 
uWu The ÚwÚ squiwwew's ;;w;; hoawd, ÚwÚ and :3 fetch uWu thee x3 nyew nyuts. 
xDD BOTTOM. UwU I xDD had rather uWu have :3 a ^-^ handfuw ow >w< two of dwied OwO peas. But, UwU I 
pray UwU you, wet >_< nyonye of x3 youw OwO peopwe stir OwO me; UwU I uWu have >w< an xDD exposition 
of :33 sweep come ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
UwU TITANyIA. OwO Sweep UwU thou, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww wind uWu thee uWu in x3 my arms. 
Faiwies, be >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and be aww ways xDD away. Exeunt uWu FAIWIES 
^w^ So xDD doth x3 the :33 woodbinye x3 the x3 sweet xDD honyeysuckwe 
>_< Gentwy ^-^ entwist; x3 the >_< femawe >_< ivy UwU so 
xDD Enwings x3 the :33 bawky x3 fingews of x3 the >w< ewm. 
>_< O, >w< how UwU I wuv uWu thee! >w< how UwU I >_> dote on uWu thee! ^w^ [They OwO sweep] 

Entew PUCK 

OBERON. x3 [Advancing] Welcome, ÚwÚ good :3 Wobin. OwO Seest xDD thou ÚwÚ this x3 sweet 
sight? 
:3 Hew ^.^ dotage nyow UwU I UwU do x3 begin to pity; 
For, meeting her of wate x3 behind x3 the wood, 
UwU Seeking x3 sweet ;;w;; favouws fow ÚwÚ this hateful x3 foow, 
UwU I uWu did x3 upbwaid her ÚwÚ and faww x3 out with her. 
For ^.^ she :33 his haiwy ^.^ tempwes xDD then xDD had wounded 
With >_< cowonyet of >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and ^-^ fwagwant >_> fwowews; 
xDD And :3 that same :33 dew which ÚwÚ sometime on x3 the ^-^ buds 
Was UwU wont to sweww ^.^ wike ;;w;; wound ÚwÚ and x3 owient uWu peawws 
^w^ Stood nyow within x3 the OwO pwetty >w< fwowewets' ^w^ eyes, 
Wike tears :3 that uWu did uWu theiw UwU own xDD disgwace ;;w;; bewaiw. 
x3 When UwU I xDD had uWu at x3 my :3 pweasuwe :33 taunted hew, 
xDD And ^.^ she uWu in >_< miwd terms begg'd x3 my patience, 
UwU I xDD then uWu did ^w^ ask of her her ^w^ changewing child; 
>_< Which ^w^ stwaight ^.^ she uWu gave uWu me, ÚwÚ and her ;;w;; faiwy sent 
;;w;; To UwU beaw ^.^ him to x3 my bowew uWu in ;;w;; faiwy xDD wand. 
xDD And nyow UwU I uWu have x3 the ^-^ boy, UwU I xDD wiww undo 
This hateful ÚwÚ impewfection of her :3 eyes. 
^.^ And, ^-^ gentwe Puck, OwO take ÚwÚ this x3 twansfowmed scawp 
Fwom x3 off x3 the >_> head of ÚwÚ this xDD Athenyian x3 swain, 
:33 That ^.^ he ^-^ awaking when x3 the othew UwU do 
^-^ May aww to ^.^ Athens back again wepaiw, 
xDD And think nyo ^.^ mowe of ÚwÚ this night's accidents 
OwO But >_< as x3 the >_< fiewce uWu vexation of :3 a UwU dweam. 
OwO But xDD fiwst UwU I xDD wiww wewease x3 the OwO Faiwy ÚwÚ Queen. 
xDD [Touching her ^-^ eyes] 
^w^ Be >_< as xDD thou >w< wast UwU wont to be; 
xDD See >_< as xDD thou UwU was UwU wont to ^-^ see. 
Dian's >w< bud ^-^ o'ew uWu Cupid's fwowew 
>_< Hath xDD such force ÚwÚ and blessed UwU powew. 
>_> Nyow, x3 my ^.^ Titanyia; wake UwU you, x3 my x3 sweet >w< queen. 
UwU TITANyIA. OwO My ÚwÚ Obewon! >_> What visions uWu have UwU I ^w^ seen! 
:33 Methought UwU I UwU was enyamouw'd of >w< an ass. 
OBERON. >_> Thewe wies x3 youw love. 
UwU TITANyIA. How ^-^ came these ^.^ things to xDD pass? 
>_< O, >w< how >_< minye eyes UwU do ^-^ woathe :33 his >w< visage >_< nyow! 
OBERON. Siwence OwO awhiwe. Wobin, OwO take x3 off ÚwÚ this >_> head. 
^-^ Titanyia, uWu music call; ÚwÚ and strike ^.^ mowe >_< dead 
Than ^w^ common :33 sweep of aww these five x3 the ÚwÚ sense. 
UwU TITANyIA. UwU Music, :3 ho, ^.^ music, xDD such >_< as >_> chawmeth UwU sweep! 
UwU PUCK. Now when xDD thou ÚwÚ wak'st with ^.^ thinye UwU own ;;w;; foow's eyes ^.^ peep. 
OBERON. x3 Sound, >_> music. ^.^ Come, x3 my :3 Queen, OwO take ^.^ hands with uWu me, 
^w^ [Music] 
xDD And OwO wock x3 the x3 gwound wheweon these ^w^ sweepews >w< be. 
Now xDD thou ÚwÚ and UwU I OwO awe x3 nyew uWu in OwO amity, 
xDD And xDD wiww to-mowwow ;;w;; midnyight OwO sowemnwy 
Dance uWu in >w< Duke ;;w;; Theseus' ;;w;; house OwO twiumphantwy, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwess >w< it to aww >w< faiw prosperity. 
>_> Thewe UwU shaww x3 the :33 paiws of faithfuw ^w^ wuvws be 
Wedded, with >_> Theseus, >w< an uWu in jollity. 
UwU PUCK. OwO Faiwy OwO King, >_< attend ÚwÚ and mark; 
UwU I UwU do hear x3 the mownying lark. 
OBERON. Then, x3 my :3 Queen, uWu in :3 siwence :3 sad, 
Twip ^.^ we ÚwÚ aftew night's OwO shade. 
We x3 the globe ^.^ can compass >_< soon, 
OwO Swiftew than x3 the >w< wand'wing x3 moon. 
UwU TITANyIA. ^.^ Come, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ and uWu in UwU ouw x3 fwight, 
Teww ;;w;; me >w< how >w< it ^-^ came ÚwÚ this >w< nyight 
:33 That UwU I x3 sweeping OwO hewe UwU was >_> found 
With these :33 mowtaws on x3 the :33 gwound. Exeunt 

;;w;; To x3 the x3 winding of UwU howns, enter :33 THESEUS, HIPPOWYTA, 
^.^ EGEUS, ÚwÚ and twain 

THESEUS. ^w^ Go, one of UwU you, find x3 out x3 the UwU fowestew; 
For nyow UwU ouw >w< obsewvation >_> is pewfowm'd, 
xDD And xDD since ^.^ we uWu have x3 the uWu vawawd of x3 the ^-^ day, 
OwO My wuv UwU shaww hear x3 the uWu music of x3 my UwU hounds. 
xDD Uncoupwe uWu in x3 the xDD westewn vawwey; wet them ÚwÚ go. 
ÚwÚ Dispatch, UwU I say, ÚwÚ and find x3 the fowestew. uWu Exit >w< an uWu ATTENDANT 
We :33 wiww, >w< faiw :3 Queen, x3 up to x3 the ÚwÚ mountain's ÚwÚ top, 
xDD And mark x3 the UwU musicaw :3 confusion 
Of >_< hounds ÚwÚ and echo uWu in :33 conjunction. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. UwU I UwU was with Hercules ÚwÚ and >w< Cadmus >_> once 
x3 When uWu in :3 a uWu wood of Cwete ;;w;; they ^-^ bay'd x3 the UwU beaw 
With >_< hounds of Sparta; >_< nyevew uWu did UwU I hear 
>w< Such OwO gawwant chiding, for, ;;w;; besides x3 the gwuvs, 
uWu The :33 skies, x3 the fountains, every wegion nyeaw 
UwU Seem'd aww one ^-^ mutuaw ^-^ cwy. UwU I >_< nyevew heard 
^w^ So UwU musicaw :3 a :33 discowd, xDD such x3 sweet thunder. 
THESEUS. OwO My >_< hounds OwO awe bwed x3 out of x3 the ^-^ Spawtan ;;w;; kind, 
^w^ So ^.^ fwew'd, UwU so sanded; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw heads OwO awe UwU hung 
With OwO eaws :3 that :33 sweep OwO away x3 the mownying ^w^ dew; 
Crook-knee'd ÚwÚ and OwO dew-wapp'd ^.^ wike ^.^ Thessawian ^w^ buwws; 
>w< Swow uWu in ;;w;; puwsuit, >_> but match'd uWu in xDD mouth ^.^ wike OwO bewws, 
x3 Each :33 undew ;;w;; each. ^-^ A cwy ^.^ mowe tunyeabwe 
Was >_< nyevew xDD howwa'd ^.^ to, nor cheer'd with >_< hown, 
^w^ In ^w^ Cwete, uWu in >_< Spawta, nor uWu in UwU Thessawy. 
xDD Judge when xDD you heaw. But, OwO soft, >_> what :3 nymphs OwO awe xDD these? 
uWu EGEUS. OwO My uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 my daughter OwO hewe ^-^ asweep, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this UwU Wysandew, ÚwÚ this >_< Demetwius ;;w;; is, 
This Helena, ;;w;; owd xDD Nyedaw's Hewenya. 
UwU I wonder of uWu theiw ^.^ being OwO hewe together. 
THESEUS. No doubt ;;w;; they wose x3 up early to uWu obsewve 
uWu The ^-^ wite of >_> May; x3 and, hearing UwU ouw intent, 
>_< Came OwO hewe uWu in xDD gwace of UwU ouw solemnity. 
OwO But :3 speak, Egeus; >_> is nyot ÚwÚ this x3 the day 
:33 That Hermia >_> shouwd UwU give answew of her ^w^ choice? 
uWu EGEUS. ^.^ It ;;w;; is, x3 my OwO wowd. 
THESEUS. ^w^ Go, bid x3 the UwU huntsmen wake them with uWu theiw ^.^ howns. 
[Howns ÚwÚ and >_> shout x3 within. uWu The ^w^ sweepews 
awake ÚwÚ and ^w^ knyeew to >_< THESEUS] 
Good-mowwow, fwiends. Saint Valentine >_> is xDD past; 
Begin these :3 wood-biwds >_> but to coupwe ^.^ nyow? 
WYSANDEW. Pawdon, x3 my OwO wowd. 
THESEUS. UwU I pray xDD you all, stand :33 up. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you >w< two OwO awe wivaw enyemies; 
How x3 comes ÚwÚ this ^-^ gentwe concowd uWu in x3 the wowwd 
:33 That >_< hatwed >_> is UwU so uWu faw from ^.^ jeawousy 
;;w;; To :33 sweep ^.^ by hate, ÚwÚ and feaw nyo UwU enmity? 
WYSANDEW. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ wepwy OwO amazedwy, 
>_> Hawf sweep, half UwU waking; >_> but >_< as ^w^ yet, UwU I x3 sweaw, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot :33 twuwy >_> say >w< how UwU I ^-^ came UwU hewe, 
But, >_< as UwU I x3 think- fow :33 twuwy ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 speak, 
xDD And nyow UwU I UwU do ^.^ bethink uWu me, UwU so >w< it is- 
UwU I ^-^ came with Hermia hithew. Our :3 intent 
Was to be >_> gonye from :3 Athens, :3 whewe ^.^ we xDD might, 
Without x3 the peril of x3 the xDD Athenyian ^.^ waw- 
uWu EGEUS. ;;w;; Enyough, UwU enyough, x3 my :33 Wowd; xDD you uWu have >_< enyough; 
UwU I ÚwÚ beg x3 the waw, x3 the law ;;w;; upon :33 his >_> head. 
^-^ They ^.^ wouwd uWu have :3 stow'n away, ;;w;; they :3 wouwd, UwU Demetwius, 
>_< Theweby to uWu have ^-^ defeated xDD you ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me: 
>_> You of x3 youw :3 wife, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me of x3 my ^.^ consent, 
Of x3 my >_< consent :3 that ^.^ she >_> shouwd be x3 youw x3 wife. 
DEMETRIUS. OwO My uWu wowd, >w< faiw :33 Hewen told ;;w;; me of uWu theiw steawth, 
Of ÚwÚ this uWu theiw OwO puwpose ÚwÚ hithew to ÚwÚ this ^w^ wood; 
xDD And UwU I uWu in UwU fuwy ÚwÚ hithew fowwowed ÚwÚ them, 
Faiw OwO Hewenya uWu in ^w^ fancy fowwowing x3 me. 
But, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, UwU I uWu wot nyot ^.^ by >_> what powew- 
OwO But ^.^ by x3 some powew >w< it is- x3 my wuv to :33 Hewmia, 
Melted >_< as x3 the ;;w;; snyow, ;;w;; seems to ;;w;; me nyow 
;;w;; As x3 the wemembwance of >w< an idle x3 gaud 
>_< Which uWu in x3 my childhood UwU I uWu did >_> dote xDD upon; 
xDD And aww x3 the ^w^ faith, x3 the viwtue of x3 my uWu heawt, 
uWu The :33 object ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 pweasuwe of >_< minye >_< eye, 
Is >w< onwy Hewenya. ;;w;; To hew, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Was UwU I ^w^ betwoth'd ere UwU I saw ^-^ Hewmia. 
But, ^.^ wike :3 a :3 sicknyess, uWu did UwU I ^-^ woathe ÚwÚ this ;;w;; food; 
But, >_< as uWu in :33 heawth, come to x3 my natural x3 taste, 
Now UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ wish :33 it, wuv :33 it, ^-^ wong fow :33 it, 
xDD And xDD wiww fow evewmowe be true to :3 it. 
THESEUS. Faiw >_> wuvws, xDD you OwO awe fortunately met; 
Of ÚwÚ this uWu discouwse ^.^ we ^.^ mowe xDD wiww hear x3 anyon. 
Egeus, UwU I xDD wiww xDD uvwbeaw x3 youw :33 wiww; 
For uWu in x3 the ^-^ tempwe, ^.^ by ÚwÚ and UwU by, with >_> us 
;;w;; These couples UwU shaww eternally be ^w^ knyit. 
^.^ And, fow x3 the mownying nyow >_> is ^-^ something ÚwÚ wown, 
Our ÚwÚ puwpos'd :33 hunting UwU shaww be uWu set xDD aside. 
UwU Away with >_> us to :3 Athens, >w< thwee ÚwÚ and OwO thwee; 
^-^ We'ww howd :3 a >_> feast uWu in great solemnity. 
^.^ Come, x3 Hippowyta. 
Exeunt :33 THESEUS, HIPPOWYTA, ^.^ EGEUS, ÚwÚ and twain 
DEMETRIUS. ;;w;; These ^.^ things xDD seem UwU smaww ÚwÚ and >_< undistinguishabwe, 
Wike faw-off ^-^ mountains turned x3 into x3 cwouds. 
HERMIA. Methinks UwU I >_> see these ^.^ things with pawted >_< eye, 
x3 When every ^.^ thing ;;w;; seems ^-^ doubwe. 
HEWENyA. ^w^ So methinks; 
xDD And UwU I uWu have >_> found >_< Demetwius ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; jewew, 
Mine OwO own, ÚwÚ and nyot >_< minye own. 
DEMETRIUS. ^w^ Awe xDD you >_< suwe 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO awe ^-^ awake? ^.^ It ;;w;; seems to ;;w;; me 
:33 That yet ^.^ we sweep, ^.^ we UwU dweam. Do nyot xDD you think 
uWu The >w< Duke UwU was UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and bid >_> us ;;w;; fowwow him? 
HERMIA. Yea, ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 fathew. 
HEWENyA. xDD And x3 Hippowyta. 
WYSANDEW. xDD And ^.^ he uWu did bid >_> us ;;w;; fowwow to x3 the temple. 
DEMETRIUS. Why, >w< then, ^.^ we OwO awe ;;w;; awake; >_> wet's ;;w;; fowwow him; 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the uWu way wet >_> us ^w^ wecount UwU ouw dweams. Exeunt 
xDD BOTTOM. UwU [Awaking] x3 When x3 my :33 cue ;;w;; comes, caww uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww answer. OwO My 
:3 nyext >_> is UwU 'Most >w< faiw OwO Pywamus.' Heigh-ho! Petew >_< Quince! :33 Fwute, x3 the 
bewwows-mendew! OwO Snyout, x3 the ^.^ tinkew! >w< Stawvewing! >_> God's x3 my :3 wife, 
:3 stow'n hence, ÚwÚ and left ;;w;; me asleep! UwU I uWu have xDD had :3 a UwU most OwO wawe vision. 
UwU I uWu have xDD had :3 a x3 dweam, x3 past x3 the wit of x3 man to >_> say >_> what dweam >w< it uWu was. 
^-^ Man >_> is >_> but >w< an >w< ass >_> if ^.^ he OwO go about to >_< expound ÚwÚ this UwU dweam. :33 Methought 
UwU I ^.^ was- there >_> is nyo x3 man ^.^ can tell what. :33 Methought UwU I UwU was, ÚwÚ and 
>_> methought UwU I :33 had, >_> but x3 man >_> is >_> but :3 a ^-^ patch'd x3 foow, >_> if ^.^ he xDD wiww offer 
to >_> say >_> what >_> methought UwU I xDD had. uWu The ^w^ eye of x3 man hath nyot ^-^ heawd, x3 the 
ear of x3 man hath nyot uWu seen, :33 man's uWu hand >_> is nyot able to x3 taste, :33 his 
>_> tongue to xDD conceive, nor :33 his >_< heawt to wepowt, >_> what x3 my dweam uWu was. UwU I 
xDD wiww get Petew x3 Quince to >w< wwite :3 a >w< bawwad of ÚwÚ this UwU dweam. ^.^ It UwU shaww 
be ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; 'Bottom's OwO Dweam,' uWu because >w< it hath nyo bottom; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww 
^.^ sing >w< it uWu in x3 the UwU wattew >w< end of :3 a ^.^ pway, >w< befowe x3 the uWu Duke. 
^w^ Pewadventuwe, to >_< make >w< it x3 the ^.^ mowe ^w^ gwacious, UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ sing >w< it uWu at 
her death. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OwO Athens. xDD QUINCE'S ;;w;; house 

Entew UwU QUINCE, FLUTE, SNOUT, ÚwÚ and STARVELING 

uWu QUINCE. :3 Have xDD you sent to Bottom's >_> house? Is ^.^ he come ^.^ home :33 yet? 
>w< STAWVEWING. >w< He ;;w;; cannyot be heard uWu of. UwU Out of doubt ^.^ he >_> is x3 twanspowted. 
;;w;; FWUTE. ;;w;; If ^.^ he come >_> nyot, xDD then x3 the :33 pway >_> is marr'd; >w< it xDD goes nyot 
forward, xDD doth :33 it? 
uWu QUINCE. ^.^ It >_> is nyot UwU possibwe. >_> You uWu have nyot :3 a x3 man uWu in aww ^.^ Athens able 
to ;;w;; dischawge uWu Pywamus >_> but he. 
;;w;; FWUTE. No; ^.^ he hath simply x3 the best wit of xDD any handicwaft x3 man uWu in 
OwO Athens. 
uWu QUINCE. Yea, ÚwÚ and x3 the best ÚwÚ pewson :3 too; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is :3 a xDD vewy >_> pawamouw fow 
:3 a x3 sweet voice. 
;;w;; FWUTE. >_> You ^w^ must >_> say 'paragon.' ^-^ A >_> pawamouw is- ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess us!- ^-^ A 
^.^ thing of nyaught. 

Entew ^-^ SNyUG 

:33 SNyUG. Masters, x3 the >w< Duke >_> is xDD coming from x3 the xDD tempwe; ÚwÚ and there >_> is >w< two 
ow >w< thwee wowds ÚwÚ and ^.^ wadies ^.^ mowe mawwied. ;;w;; If UwU ouw spowt xDD had >_> gonye 
forward, ^.^ we xDD had aww :33 been UwU made ^.^ men. 
;;w;; FWUTE. x3 O x3 sweet ^.^ buwwy >_< Bottom! ^-^ Thus hath ^.^ he wost x3 sixpence :3 a day 
x3 duwing :33 his :33 wife; ^.^ he couwd nyot uWu have x3 scaped x3 sixpence :3 a x3 day. ^-^ An x3 the 
>w< Duke xDD had nyot UwU given ^.^ him x3 sixpence :3 a day fow :3 pwaying Pywamus, I'll 
be >_> hanged. >w< He ^.^ wouwd uWu have deserved >w< it: x3 sixpence :3 a day uWu in Pywamus, 
ow OwO nyothing. 

Entew BOTTOM 

xDD BOTTOM. Whewe OwO awe these wads? Whewe OwO awe these hearts? 
uWu QUINCE. >_< Bottom! x3 O UwU most xDD couwageous ^.^ day! x3 O UwU most ^w^ happy houw! 
xDD BOTTOM. Masters, UwU I ^w^ am to uWu discouwse uWu wondews; >_> but ^w^ ask ;;w;; me nyot :3 what; 
fow >_> if UwU I tell UwU you, UwU I ^w^ am nyot true Athenian. UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you 
^.^ evewything, >w< wight >_< as >w< it UwU feww OwO out. 
uWu QUINCE. Let >_> us heaw, x3 sweet ^.^ Bottom. 
xDD BOTTOM. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a ;;w;; wowd of x3 me. All :3 that UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you ;;w;; is, :3 that x3 the 
>w< Duke hath ^w^ dinyed. >_< Get x3 youw apparel together; ÚwÚ good xDD stwings to x3 youw 
ÚwÚ beawds, x3 nyew wibbons to x3 youw x3 pumps; :3 meet presently uWu at x3 the ^-^ pawace; 
every x3 man wook ^-^ o'ew :33 his ^w^ pawt; fow x3 the showt ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ wong ;;w;; is, UwU ouw 
:33 pway >_> is pwefeww'd. ^w^ In xDD any case, wet ^.^ Thisby uWu have x3 cwean ^-^ winyen; ÚwÚ and 
wet nyot ^.^ him :3 that plays x3 the wion pare :33 his nyaiws, fow ;;w;; they UwU shaww 
^w^ hang x3 out fow x3 the ;;w;; wion's >_< cwaws. ^.^ And, UwU most uWu deaw actors, eat nyo 
onyions nor gawwic, fow ^.^ we OwO awe to :33 uttew x3 sweet breath; ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU do nyot 
doubt >_> but to hear them >_> say >w< it >_> is :3 a x3 sweet :33 comedy. No ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ wowds. 
:33 Away, x3 go, away! Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Athens. uWu The ^w^ pawace of x3 THESEUS 

Entew :33 THESEUS, HIPPOWYTA, ;;w;; PHIWOSTWATE, LORDS, ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

^w^ HIPPOWYTA. 'Tis >_> stwange, x3 my >_> Theseus, :3 that these ^w^ wuvws speak uWu of. 
THESEUS. uWu Mowe ;;w;; stwange than true. UwU I >_< nyevew OwO may ^-^ bewieve 
;;w;; These >w< antique fabwes, nor these ;;w;; faiwy toys. 
x3 Wuvws ÚwÚ and OwO madmen uWu have xDD such seething uWu bwains, 
>w< Such >w< shaping UwU fantasies, :3 that >_< appwehend 
uWu Mowe than :3 coow reason OwO evew :33 compwehends. 
uWu The lunatic, x3 the ^.^ wuvw, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ poet, 
^w^ Awe of xDD imaginyation aww :33 compact. 
x3 Onye sees ^.^ mowe xDD deviws than >_> vast heww ^.^ can howd; 
:33 That >_> is x3 the >_> madman. uWu The ^.^ wuvw, aww >_< as OwO fwantic, 
^.^ Sees Helen's beauty uWu in :3 a ^w^ bwow of :3 Egypt. 
uWu The x3 poet's >_< eye, uWu in :3 a OwO finye fwenzy ÚwÚ wowwing, 
^-^ Doth glance from heaven to earth, from ^.^ eawth to xDD heaven; 
xDD And >_< as xDD imaginyation >_< bodies fowth 
uWu The uWu fowms of ^.^ things uWu unknyown, x3 the x3 poet's OwO pen 
Tuwns them to ^w^ shapes, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; gives to airy >_< nyothing 
^-^ A >w< wocaw ^w^ habitation ÚwÚ and :3 a nyame. 
>w< Such tricks hath >w< stwong xDD imaginyation 
^.^ That, >_> if >w< it ^.^ wouwd >_> but >_< appwehend x3 some joy, 
^.^ It comprehends x3 some ^.^ bwingew of :3 that :33 joy; 
:33 Ow uWu in x3 the night, imagining x3 some ;;w;; feaw, 
How ^w^ easy >_> is :3 a ;;w;; bush ^-^ suppos'd :3 a UwU beaw? 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. OwO But aww x3 the ^-^ stowy of x3 the >w< nyight told UwU uvw, 
xDD And aww uWu theiw minds ^-^ twansfiguw'd UwU so together, 
uWu Mowe uWu witnyesseth than ÚwÚ fancy's ;;w;; images, 
xDD And gwows to ^-^ something of great >_< constancy, 
OwO But howsoever ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ and admirable. 

Entew LYSANDER, UwU DEMETWIUS, ^-^ HEWMIA, ÚwÚ and HEWENyA 

THESEUS. :3 Hewe come x3 the >_> wuvws, full of joy ÚwÚ and mirth. 
^.^ Joy, ^-^ gentwe OwO fwiends, joy ÚwÚ and >w< fwesh OwO days of wuv 
OwO Accompany x3 youw ÚwÚ heawts! 
WYSANDEW. uWu Mowe than to >_> us 
uWu Wait uWu in x3 youw royal walks, x3 youw board, x3 youw bed! 
THESEUS. :3 Come >_< nyow; >_> what masques, >_> what :33 dances UwU shaww ^.^ we have, 
;;w;; To ^-^ weaw OwO away ÚwÚ this ^-^ wong age of >w< thwee >_> houws 
Between UwU ouw >_< aftew-suppew ÚwÚ and bed-time? 
Whewe >_> is UwU ouw ^.^ usuaw >_> manyagew of mirth? 
>_> What :3 wevews OwO awe uWu in hand? Is there nyo :33 pway 
;;w;; To ^w^ ease x3 the ^w^ anguish of :3 a :33 towtuwing :3 houw? 
;;w;; Caww Philostrate. 
ÚwÚ PHIWOSTWATE. Here, ^-^ mighty >w< Theseus. 
THESEUS. Say, >_> what abwidgment uWu have xDD you fow ÚwÚ this UwU evenying? 
>_> What masque? >_> what music? How UwU shaww ^.^ we beguile 
uWu The lazy time, >_> if nyot with x3 some dewight? 
ÚwÚ PHIWOSTWATE. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a bwief >w< how UwU many ÚwÚ spowts OwO awe wipe; 
^-^ Make UwU choice of which x3 youw >_> Highnyess xDD wiww >_> see fiwst. 
>_> [Giving :3 a ÚwÚ papew] 
THESEUS. 'The ÚwÚ battwe with x3 the ^.^ Centauws, to be sung 
^-^ By >w< an xDD Athenyian eunuch to x3 the hawp.' 
^-^ We'ww >_< nyonye of :33 that: :3 that uWu have UwU I told x3 my xDD wuv, 
^w^ In :3 gwowy of x3 my kinsman ^w^ Hewcuwes. 
'The riot of x3 the tipsy Bacchanals, 
>w< Teawing x3 the x3 Thwacian singew uWu in uWu theiw wage.' 
:33 That >_> is >w< an ;;w;; owd >_< device, ÚwÚ and >w< it UwU was pway'd 
x3 When UwU I from x3 Thebes ^-^ came >w< wast :3 a conquewow. 
'The thrice >w< thwee xDD Muses >w< mouwnying fow x3 the :33 death 
Of uWu Weawnying, wate xDD deceas'd uWu in ^.^ beggawy.' 
:33 That >_> is x3 some satire, >_> keen ÚwÚ and critical, 
ÚwÚ Nyot sowting with :3 a >w< nyuptiaw :3 cewemony. 
>_> 'A tedious bwief scene of xDD young uWu Pywamus 
xDD And :33 his wuv Thisby; xDD vewy OwO twagicaw mirth.' 
>_< Mewwy ÚwÚ and :3 twagicaw! tedious ÚwÚ and bwief! 
:33 That >_> is :3 hot :3 ice ÚwÚ and wondwous ;;w;; stwange snyow. 
How UwU shaww ^.^ we find x3 the concowd of ÚwÚ this discowd? 
ÚwÚ PHIWOSTWATE. ^-^ A :33 pway there ;;w;; is, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 some ;;w;; ten wowds long, 
>_< Which >_> is >_< as bwief >_< as UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ knyown :3 a play; 
OwO But ^.^ by ;;w;; ten wowds, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< it >_> is ^w^ too long, 
>_< Which x3 makes >w< it :33 tedious; fow uWu in aww x3 the :33 pway 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyot one ;;w;; wowd :3 apt, one :3 pwayew ;;w;; fitted. 
xDD And ^-^ twagicaw, x3 my x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, >w< it is; 
For uWu Pywamus thewein xDD doth OwO kiww himself. 
>_< Which when UwU I saw weheaws'd, UwU I ^w^ must >_> confess, 
Made >_< minye eyes water; >_> but ^.^ mowe ^.^ mewwy tears 
uWu The passion of ÚwÚ woud :33 waughtew >_< nyevew uWu shed. 
THESEUS. >_> What OwO awe ;;w;; they :3 that UwU do :33 pway :33 it? 
ÚwÚ PHIWOSTWATE. Hard-handed ;;w;; men :3 that ^.^ wowk uWu in ^.^ Athens UwU hewe, 
>_< Which >_< nyevew labour'd uWu in uWu theiw minds >w< tiww >_< nyow; 
xDD And nyow uWu have toil'd uWu theiw unbweathed >_< memowies 
With ÚwÚ this same :33 pway OwO against x3 youw :33 nyuptiaw. 
THESEUS. xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww hear :3 it. 
ÚwÚ PHIWOSTWATE. :3 Nyo, x3 my x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
^.^ It >_> is nyot fow OwO you. UwU I uWu have heard >w< it UwU uvw, 
xDD And >w< it >_> is uWu nyothing, >_< nyothing uWu in x3 the wowwd; 
OwO Unwess xDD you ^.^ can find spowt uWu in uWu theiw >w< intents, 
Extremely ;;w;; stwetch'd ÚwÚ and xDD conn'd with UwU cwuew UwU pain, 
;;w;; To UwU do xDD you service. 
THESEUS. UwU I xDD wiww hear :3 that play; 
For >_< nyevew ;;w;; anything ^.^ can be uWu amiss 
x3 When simpwenyess ÚwÚ and >_> duty xDD tendew :3 it. 
^w^ Go, ;;w;; bwing them UwU in; ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 youw OwO pwaces, wadies. 
uWu Exit :3 PHIWOSTWATE 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. UwU I wuv nyot to >_> see ^-^ wwetchednyess o'ew-chawged, 
xDD And >_> duty uWu in :33 his OwO sewvice perishing. 
THESEUS. Why, ^-^ gentwe sweet, xDD you UwU shaww >_> see nyo xDD such >_> thing. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. >w< He ;;w;; says ;;w;; they ^.^ can UwU do >_< nyothing uWu in ÚwÚ this kind. 
THESEUS. uWu The kinder :33 we, to UwU give them thanks fow OwO nyothing. 
Our spowt UwU shaww be to OwO take >_> what ;;w;; they OwO mistake; 
xDD And >_> what poor >_> duty ;;w;; cannyot UwU do, x3 nyobwe wespect 
Takes >w< it uWu in xDD might, nyot x3 mewit. 
Whewe UwU I uWu have come, great clerks uWu have puwposed 
;;w;; To x3 gweet ;;w;; me with pwemeditated ^.^ wewcomes; 
Whewe UwU I uWu have :3 seen them ;;w;; shivew ÚwÚ and wook pawe, 
^-^ Make periods uWu in x3 the >w< midst of :33 sentences, 
x3 Thwottwe uWu theiw ÚwÚ pwactis'd xDD accent uWu in uWu theiw >_> feaws, 
^.^ And, uWu in conclusion, UwU dumbwy uWu have broke ^w^ off, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ÚwÚ paying ;;w;; me :3 a x3 wewcome. Twust uWu me, sweet, 
UwU Out of ÚwÚ this :3 siwence yet UwU I pick'd :3 a wewcome; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ modesty of x3 feawfuw >_> duty 
UwU I ^w^ wead >_< as much >_< as from x3 the >_> wattwing >_> tongue 
Of ^w^ saucy ÚwÚ and audacious :3 ewoquence. 
Wuv, OwO thewefowe, ÚwÚ and tongue-tied simplicity 
^w^ In least speak UwU most to x3 my ÚwÚ capacity. 

^.^ We-entew :3 PHIWOSTWATE 

ÚwÚ PHIWOSTWATE. xDD SO uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, x3 the Prologue >_> is addwess'd. 
THESEUS. Let ^.^ him ;;w;; appwoach. [Flourish of x3 twumpets] 

Entew QUINCE >_< as x3 the PROLOGUE 

PROLOGUE. ;;w;; If ^.^ we xDD offend, >w< it >_> is with UwU ouw ÚwÚ good :33 wiww. 
:33 That xDD you >_> shouwd >_< think, ^.^ we come nyot to xDD offend, 
OwO But with ÚwÚ good :33 wiww. ;;w;; To x3 show UwU ouw :33 simpwe ^-^ skiww, 
:33 That >_> is x3 the true beginning of UwU ouw OwO end. 
Consider >w< then, ^.^ we come >_> but uWu in >w< despite. 
We UwU do nyot come, >_< as :33 minding to :3 content UwU you, 
Our true :3 intent >w< is. All fow x3 youw delight 
We OwO awe nyot hewe. :33 That xDD you >_> shouwd OwO hewe wepent UwU you, 
uWu The actors OwO awe uWu at >_> band; x3 and, ^.^ by uWu theiw show, 
>_> You UwU shaww ^.^ knyow all, :3 that xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wike to knyow, 
THESEUS. This fewwow xDD doth nyot stand ;;w;; upon :33 points. 
WYSANDEW. >w< He hath x3 wid :33 his uWu pwowogue ^.^ wike :3 a OwO wough ;;w;; cowt; ^.^ he xDD knyows nyot 
x3 the ^-^ stop. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good >_< mowaw, x3 my wowd: >w< it >_> is nyot enough to :3 speak, >_> but 
to speak true. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. :33 Indeed ^.^ he hath pway'd on ÚwÚ this uWu pwowogue ^.^ wike :3 a chiwd on :3 a 
OwO wecowdew- :3 a sound, >_> but nyot uWu in >_< guvwnment. 
THESEUS. ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ speech UwU was ^.^ wike :3 a tangled chain; >_< nyothing >_> im paired, 
>_> but aww disordered. Who >_> is ;;w;; nyext? 

OwO Entew, with :3 a ÚwÚ twumpet >w< befowe ÚwÚ them, >_< as uWu in UwU dumb show, 
ÚwÚ PYWAMUS ÚwÚ and ^.^ THISBY, x3 WAWW, MOONSHINyE, ÚwÚ and >w< WION 

PROLOGUE. Gentwes, x3 pewchance xDD you wonder uWu at ÚwÚ this show; 
OwO But wonder ;;w;; on, >w< tiww uWu twuth >_< make aww ^.^ things plain. 
This x3 man >_> is Pywamus, >_> if xDD you ^.^ wouwd know; 
This beauteous uWu wady ^.^ Thisby >_> is cewtain. 
This ^w^ man, with wime ÚwÚ and wough-cast, xDD doth xDD pwesent 
Wall, :3 that ^-^ viwe Waww which uWu did these ^w^ wuvws >_< sundew; 
xDD And ^w^ thwough Walls >w< chink, poor souws, ;;w;; they OwO awe :3 content 
;;w;; To uWu whispew. At x3 the which wet nyo x3 man :3 wondew. 
This ^w^ man, with ÚwÚ wanthown, dog, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bush of thorn, 
Presenteth ;;w;; Moonshinye; for, >_> if xDD you xDD wiww knyow, 
^-^ By uWu moonshinye uWu did these ^w^ wuvws think nyo ^w^ scown 
;;w;; To :3 meet uWu at Ninus' ;;w;; tomb, thewe, there to UwU woo. 
This grisly ^.^ beast, which ^w^ Wion >_> hight ^.^ by :33 nyame, 
uWu The trusty uWu Thisby, xDD coming xDD fiwst ^.^ by night, 
Did scare away, ow rather uWu did affwight; 
xDD And >_< as ^.^ she fwed, her ^-^ mantwe ^.^ she uWu did uWu faww; 
>_< Which ^w^ Wion ^-^ viwe with bwoody xDD mouth uWu did :3 stain. 
^-^ Anyon x3 comes Pywamus, x3 sweet :33 youth ÚwÚ and uWu taww, 
xDD And ÚwÚ finds :33 his trusty Thisby's ^-^ mantwe slain; 
Wheweat with blade, with bwoody :33 bwamefuw blade, 
>w< He bravely xDD bwoach'd :33 his boiling bwoody >_< bweast; 
xDD And uWu Thisby, >_< tawwying uWu in mulberry shade, 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ daggew OwO dwew, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ died. For aww x3 the ^-^ west, 
Let ÚwÚ Wion, ^.^ Moonshinye, Wall, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wuvws twain, 
At large uWu discouwse OwO whiwe OwO hewe ;;w;; they UwU do ^-^ wemain. 
Exeunt UwU PWOWOGUE, ^.^ PYWAMUS, ^.^ THISBY, 
LION, ÚwÚ and MOONSHINyE 
THESEUS. UwU I wonder >_> if x3 the wion be to >_< speak. 
DEMETRIUS. No OwO wondew, x3 my wowd: one wion may, when UwU many asses xDD do. 
WAWW. ^w^ In ÚwÚ this same intewwude >w< it xDD doth befaww 
:33 That I, one ^-^ Snyout ^.^ by :33 nyame, xDD pwesent :3 a waww; 
xDD And xDD such :3 a waww >_< as UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD you think 
:33 That xDD had uWu in >w< it :3 a crannied x3 howe ow >w< chink, 
^.^ Thwough which x3 the >_> wuvws, uWu Pywamus ÚwÚ and uWu Thisby, 
Did whisper often xDD vewy secretly. 
This xDD woam, ÚwÚ this wough-cast, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this OwO stonye, xDD doth x3 show 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am :3 that same waww; x3 the uWu twuth >_> is so; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this x3 the cranny ;;w;; is, >w< wight ÚwÚ and sinister, 
^.^ Thwough which x3 the x3 feawfuw ^w^ wuvws OwO awe to uWu whispew. 
THESEUS. Wouwd xDD you ^.^ desiwe wime ÚwÚ and >_< haiw to speak bettew? 
DEMETRIUS. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the >_< wittiest partition :3 that OwO evew UwU I heard 
discouwse, x3 my OwO wowd. 

Entew ÚwÚ PYWAMUS 

THESEUS. uWu Pywamus ÚwÚ dwaws nyeaw x3 the waww; x3 siwence. 
PYWAMUS. x3 O ^-^ gwim-wook'd night! x3 O >w< nyight with :33 hue UwU so >w< bwack! 
x3 O night, which OwO evew awt when day >_> is ^w^ nyot! 
x3 O night, x3 O night, awack, awack, awack, 
UwU I feaw x3 my Thisby's promise >_> is >_> fowgot! 
xDD And UwU thou, x3 O :3 waww, x3 O sweet, x3 O lovely :3 waww, 
:33 That OwO stand'st ^-^ between her father's x3 gwound ÚwÚ and minye; 
^.^ Thou :3 waww, x3 O :3 waww, x3 O x3 sweet ÚwÚ and lovely :3 waww, 
uWu Show ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< chink, to OwO bwink ^w^ thwough with >_< minye ;;w;; eynye. 
[WALL ÚwÚ howds x3 up :33 his fingews] 
>_< Thanks, ^-^ couwteous wall. Juv OwO shiewd uWu thee weww fow x3 this! 
OwO But >_> what >_> see >_> what >_> see >_< I? No ^.^ Thisby UwU do UwU I ^-^ see. 
x3 O wicked :3 waww, ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ whom UwU I >_> see nyo bliss, 
Cuws'd ^.^ he >w< thy ^.^ stonyes fow OwO thus ;;w;; deceiving me! 
THESEUS. uWu The :3 waww, UwU methinks, ^.^ being ^w^ sensibwe, >_> shouwd UwU cuwse ;;w;; again. 
PYWAMUS. :3 Nyo, uWu in truth, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he >_> shouwd not. uWu Deceiving ;;w;; me >_> is Thisby's 
>_< cue. :33 She >_> is to enter now, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am to ^w^ spy her ^w^ thwough x3 the wall. 
>_> You UwU shaww >_> see >w< it xDD wiww faww xDD pat >_< as UwU I told uWu you; yonder ^.^ she ^w^ comes. 

Entew >w< THISBY 

THISBY. x3 O :3 waww, full often x3 hast xDD thou ^w^ beawd x3 my >w< moans, 
For >w< pawting x3 my >w< faiw uWu Pywamus ÚwÚ and me! 
OwO My cherry lips uWu have often >w< kiss'd >w< thy ^w^ stonyes, 
x3 Thy ^.^ stonyes with wime ÚwÚ and >_< haiw >w< knyit x3 up uWu in thee. 
PYWAMUS. UwU I >_> see :3 a voice; nyow xDD wiww UwU I to x3 the >w< chink, 
;;w;; To ^w^ spy >w< an UwU I ^.^ can hear x3 my Thisby's ;;w;; face. 
UwU Thisby! 
THISBY. OwO My love! xDD thou awt x3 my xDD wuv, UwU I UwU think. 
PYWAMUS. ^w^ Think >_> what xDD thou wiwt, UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy lover's >w< gwace; 
xDD And ^.^ wike Limander ^w^ am UwU I trusty xDD stiww. 
THISBY. xDD And UwU I ^.^ wike Hewen, >w< tiww x3 the :33 Fates ;;w;; me UwU kiww. 
PYWAMUS. ÚwÚ Nyot Shafalus to ^w^ Pwocwus UwU was UwU so true. 
THISBY. ;;w;; As Shafalus to UwU Pwocwus, UwU I to OwO you. 
PYWAMUS. >_< O, :3 kiss ;;w;; me ^w^ thwough x3 the x3 howe of ÚwÚ this ^-^ viwe wall. 
THISBY. UwU I :3 kiss x3 the ^.^ waww's :3 howe, nyot x3 youw lips uWu at all. 
PYWAMUS. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou uWu at xDD Nyinny's tomb :3 meet ;;w;; me straightway? 
THISBY. Tide :3 wife, >_< tide UwU death, UwU I come ^-^ without :3 deway. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ PYWAMUS ÚwÚ and >w< THISBY 
WAWW. ^-^ Thus uWu have I, Wall, x3 my ÚwÚ pawt >_< dischawged so; 
^.^ And, ^.^ being :33 donye, OwO thus Waww OwO away xDD doth ÚwÚ go. uWu Exit ;;w;; WAWW 
THESEUS. Now >_> is x3 the ;;w;; moon used ^-^ between x3 the >w< two ^.^ nyeighbouws. 
DEMETRIUS. No ^.^ wemedy, x3 my uWu wowd, when OwO wawws OwO awe UwU so ^.^ wiwfuw to hear 
^-^ without wawnying. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. This >_> is x3 the silliest ^w^ stuff :3 that OwO evew UwU I heawd. 
THESEUS. uWu The best uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu kind OwO awe >_> but uWu shadows; ÚwÚ and x3 the worst OwO awe 
nyo ^-^ wowse, >_> if xDD imaginyation ;;w;; amend OwO them. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. ^.^ It ^w^ must be x3 youw xDD imaginyation >w< then, ÚwÚ and nyot theirs. 
THESEUS. ;;w;; If ^.^ we imagine nyo xDD wowse of them than ;;w;; they of ^.^ themsewves, 
;;w;; they OwO may pass fow :3 excewwent ^.^ men. :3 Hewe come >w< two x3 nyobwe x3 beasts x3 in, :3 a 
x3 man ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> wion. 

Entew >w< WION ÚwÚ and MOONSHINyE 

>w< WION. >_< You, x3 wadies, UwU you, x3 whose ^-^ gentwe heawts UwU do feaw 
uWu The xDD smawwest monstwous ^-^ mouse :3 that :3 cweeps on floor, 
^-^ May now, ÚwÚ pewchance, both quake ÚwÚ and :3 twembwe UwU hewe, 
x3 When wion OwO wough uWu in wildest xDD wage xDD doth >w< woaw. 
UwU Then ^.^ knyow :3 that UwU I >_< as Snug x3 the joinyew ^w^ am 
^-^ A wion fell, nor >_> ewse nyo ;;w;; wion's UwU dam; 
For, >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd >_< as wion come uWu in uWu stwife 
^.^ Into ÚwÚ this pwace, >w< 'twewe pity on x3 my life. 
THESEUS. ^-^ A xDD vewy ^-^ gentwe ^.^ beast, ÚwÚ and of :3 a ÚwÚ good ^w^ conscience. 
DEMETRIUS. uWu The xDD vewy best uWu at :3 a ^.^ beast, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that ;;w;; e'ew UwU I x3 saw. 
WYSANDEW. This wion >_> is :3 a xDD vewy fox fow :33 his ;;w;; vawouw. 
THESEUS. ^w^ Twue; ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 goose fow :33 his discwetion. 
DEMETRIUS. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, x3 my wowd; fow :33 his valour ;;w;; cannyot carry :33 his 
discretion, ÚwÚ and x3 the fox xDD cawwies x3 the >_< goose. 
THESEUS. ÚwÚ His discretion, UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, ;;w;; cannyot carry :33 his :3 vawouw; fow 
x3 the x3 goose xDD cawwies nyot x3 the xDD fox. ^.^ It >_> is well. Weave >w< it to :33 his 
discretion, ÚwÚ and wet >_> us xDD wisten to x3 the ^.^ Moon. 
MOONSHINE. This xDD wanthown xDD doth x3 the ^.^ hownyed ;;w;; moon present- 
DEMETRIUS. >w< He >_> shouwd uWu have wown x3 the >w< howns on :33 his >_> head. 
THESEUS. >w< He >_> is nyo cwescent, ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< howns OwO awe invisible within x3 the 
OwO ciwcumfewence. 
MOONSHINE. This xDD wanthown xDD doth x3 the ^.^ hownyed ;;w;; moon pwesent; 
xDD Mysewf x3 the ^-^ Man :33 i' x3 th' >w< Moon UwU do xDD seem to >w< be. 
THESEUS. This >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest ewwow of aww x3 the rest; x3 the x3 man >_> shouwd 
be put x3 into x3 the :33 wantewn. How >_> is >w< it >_> ewse x3 the x3 man :33 i' x3 th' OwO moon? 
DEMETRIUS. >w< He x3 dawes nyot come there fow x3 the :33 candwe; for, xDD you see, >w< it 
>_> is xDD awweady uWu in snuff. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. UwU I ^w^ am >_> aweawy of ÚwÚ this x3 moon. Wouwd ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd change! 
THESEUS. ^.^ It appeaws, ^.^ by :33 his UwU smaww >w< wight of discretion, :3 that ^.^ he >_> is 
uWu in x3 the UwU wanye; >_> but ^w^ yet, uWu in couwtesy, uWu in aww weason, ^.^ we ^w^ must xDD stay 
x3 the uWu time. 
WYSANDEW. Proceed, ^.^ Moon. 
MOON. All :3 that UwU I uWu have to >_> say >_> is to tell xDD you :3 that x3 the xDD wanthown >_> is 
x3 the moon; I, x3 the ^-^ Man :33 i' x3 th' Moon; ÚwÚ this thorn-bush, x3 my ;;w;; thown-bush; 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this dog, x3 my :33 dog. 
DEMETRIUS. Why, aww these >_> shouwd be uWu in x3 the xDD wantewn; fow aww these 
OwO awe uWu in x3 the x3 moon. OwO But OwO siwence; OwO hewe x3 comes Thisby. 

^.^ We-entew >w< THISBY 

THISBY. This >_> is ;;w;; owd xDD Nyinny's ;;w;; tomb. Whewe >_> is x3 my love? 
>w< WION. :3 [Woawing] >w< O- >w< [THISBY wuns off] 
DEMETRIUS. Weww roar'd, Wion. 
THESEUS. Weww uWu wun, Thisby. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. Weww shonye, ^.^ Moon. ^-^ Twuwy, x3 the ;;w;; moon uWu shinyes with :3 a ÚwÚ good 
grace. ;;w;; [The >w< WION tears >_< THISBY'S UwU Mantwe, ÚwÚ and >_< exit] 
THESEUS. Weww mous'd, Wion. 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ PYWAMUS 

DEMETRIUS. xDD And xDD then ^-^ came Pywamus. 
WYSANDEW. xDD And UwU so x3 the wion xDD vanyish'd. 
PYWAMUS. ÚwÚ Sweet Moon, UwU I >_> thank uWu thee fow >w< thy sunny OwO beams; 
UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, Moon, fow >_< shinying nyow UwU so :33 bwight; 
For, ^.^ by >w< thy >_> gwacious >_> gowden, gwittewing gleams, 
UwU I :33 twust to OwO take of uWu twuest ^.^ Thisby :33 sight. 
OwO But ;;w;; stay, x3 O ^w^ spite! 
OwO But >_> mawk, poor UwU knyight, 
>_> What :3 dweadfuw xDD dowe >_> is here! 
^-^ Eyes, UwU do xDD you see? 
How ^.^ can >w< it uWu he? 
x3 O UwU dainty duck! x3 O dear! 
x3 Thy ^-^ mantwe UwU good, 
What! x3 stain'd with >_< bwood? 
uWu Appwoach, OwO ye Furies x3 feww. 
x3 O ^-^ Fates! come, >_< come; 
Cut :3 thwead ÚwÚ and thwum; 
:3 Quaiw, ^-^ cwush, ^w^ concwude, ÚwÚ and >w< queww. 
THESEUS. This ^-^ passion, ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 death of :3 a uWu deaw fwiend, ^.^ wouwd OwO go 
nyeaw to >_< make :3 a x3 man wook OwO sad. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. Beshrew x3 my uWu heawt, >_> but UwU I pity x3 the man. 
PYWAMUS. x3 O ÚwÚ whewefowe, OwO Nyatuwe, :33 didst xDD thou wions ;;w;; fwame? 
Since wion ^-^ viwe hath OwO hewe xDD defwowew'd x3 my deaw; 
>_< Which is- no, xDD nyo- which UwU was x3 the >_> faiwest :3 dame 
:33 That liv'd, :3 that ;;w;; wov'd, :3 that x3 wik'd, :3 that >_> wook'd with cheer. 
^.^ Come, ^-^ teaws, confound; 
Out, uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wound 
uWu The ^.^ pap of Pyramus; 
Ay, :3 that left pap, 
Whewe >_< heawt xDD doth xDD hop. [Stabs uWu himsewf] 
^-^ Thus ^-^ die I, thus, thus, OwO thus. 
Now ^w^ am UwU I >_< dead, 
Now ^w^ am UwU I fled; 
OwO My :3 souw >_> is uWu in x3 the x3 sky. 
Tongue, wose >w< thy >_> wight; 
Moon, OwO take >w< thy fwight. ;;w;; [Exit UwU MOONSHINyE] 
Now >_> die, >_> die, >_> die, >_> die, die. :33 [Dies] 
DEMETRIUS. No >_> die, >_> but >w< an x3 ace, fow him; fow ^.^ he >_> is >_> but onye. 
WYSANDEW. Wess than >w< an x3 ace, xDD man; fow ^.^ he >_> is UwU dead; ^.^ he >_> is OwO nyothing. 
THESEUS. With x3 the OwO hewp of :3 a >_> suwgeon ^.^ he ^w^ might yet OwO wecuvw ÚwÚ and yet 
^-^ pwuv >w< an ass. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. How chance Moonshine >_> is >_> gonye >w< befowe ^.^ Thisby x3 comes back 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ finds her :3 wuvw? 

^.^ We-entew >w< THISBY 

THESEUS. :33 She xDD wiww find ^.^ him ^.^ by ÚwÚ stawwight. :3 Hewe ^.^ she ;;w;; comes; ÚwÚ and her 
passion uWu ends x3 the play. 
^w^ HIPPOWYTA. Methinks ^.^ she >_> shouwd nyot use :3 a ^-^ wong one fow xDD such :3 a 
Pyramus; UwU I UwU hope ^.^ she xDD wiww be bwief. 
DEMETRIUS. ^-^ A ÚwÚ mote xDD wiww turn x3 the ^-^ bawance, which Pywamus, which 
uWu Thisby, >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ bettew- ^.^ he fow :3 a ^w^ man, ^w^ God :33 wawwant UwU us: :33 She fow :3 a 
^w^ woman, ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ us! 
WYSANDEW. :33 She hath ÚwÚ spied ^.^ him xDD awweady with UwU those x3 sweet :3 eyes. 
DEMETRIUS. xDD And OwO thus ^.^ she >w< moans, videlicet:- 
THISBY. Asweep, x3 my love? 
What, >_< dead, x3 my ^w^ duv? 
x3 O Pywamus, ^.^ awise, 
ÚwÚ Speak, >_< speak. >_< Quite UwU dumb? 
^.^ Dead, dead? ^-^ A tomb 
:3 Must UwU cuvw >w< thy x3 sweet :3 eyes. 
;;w;; These ;;w;; wiwy :3 wips, 
This cherry nose, 
;;w;; These >w< yewwow ^w^ cowswip cheeks, 
^w^ Awe >w< gonye, OwO awe xDD gonye; 
Wuvws, >_< make ^-^ moan; 
ÚwÚ His eyes :3 wewe green >_< as weeks. 
x3 O Sistews Three, 
^.^ Come, come to uWu me, 
With ^.^ hands >_< as pawe >_< as miwk; 
Way them uWu in uWu gowe, 
Since xDD you uWu have >w< showe 
With uWu sheaws :33 his :3 thwead of silk. 
Tongue, nyot :3 a OwO wowd. 
^.^ Come, trusty ^-^ swowd; 
^.^ Come, blade, x3 my breast ;;w;; imbwue. [Stabs uWu hewsewf] 
xDD And farewell, >_< fwiends; 
^-^ Thus ^.^ Thisby ;;w;; ends; 
:3 Adieu, adieu, ^w^ adieu. :33 [Dies] 
THESEUS. Moonshine ÚwÚ and ^w^ Wion OwO awe left to ^.^ buwy x3 the uWu dead. 
DEMETRIUS. Ay, ÚwÚ and Waww UwU too. 
xDD BOTTOM. [Stawting >_< up] :3 Nyo, UwU I :33 assuwe uWu you; x3 the waww >_> is down :3 that 
pawted uWu theiw fathews. Will >w< it uWu pwease xDD you to >_> see x3 the uWu Epiwogue, ow 
to hear :3 a uWu Bewgomask UwU dance ^-^ between >w< two of UwU ouw :3 company? 
THESEUS. No epiwogue, UwU I pray uWu you; fow x3 youw :33 pway >_< nyeeds nyo uWu excuse. 
xDD Nyevew OwO excuse; fow when x3 the >_< pwayews OwO awe aww >_< dead there >_< nyeed >_< nyonye 
to be x3 bwamed. OwO Mawwy, >_> if ^.^ he :3 that ^-^ wwit >w< it xDD had OwO pwayed Pywamus, ÚwÚ and 
:33 hang'd >_< himsewf uWu in Thisby's UwU gawtew, >w< it ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 been :3 a OwO finye 
^.^ twagedy. xDD And UwU so >w< it ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ twuwy; ÚwÚ and xDD vewy ^.^ nyotabwy discharg'd. OwO But 
come, x3 youw OwO Bewgomask; wet x3 youw uWu epiwogue >_< awonye. :3 [A dance] 
uWu The iwon >_> tongue of ;;w;; midnyight hath told twelve. 
Wuvws, to bed; UwU 'tis almost ;;w;; faiwy uWu time. 
UwU I feaw ^.^ we UwU shaww :3 out-sweep x3 the xDD coming ^-^ mown, 
;;w;; As much >_< as ^.^ we ÚwÚ this >w< nyight uWu have OwO uvwwatch'd. 
This palpable-gross :33 pway hath weww beguiw'd 
uWu The x3 heavy :33 gait of OwO nyight. ÚwÚ Sweet OwO fwiends, to :3 bed. 
^-^ A fortnight howd ^.^ we ÚwÚ this sowemnyity, 
^w^ In xDD nyightwy :3 wevews ÚwÚ and x3 nyew jollity. Exeunt 

Entew PUCK with :3 a >_> bwoom 

UwU PUCK. Now x3 the hungwy wion roars, 
xDD And x3 the OwO wowf behowws x3 the moon; 
Whilst x3 the x3 heavy pwoughman snyowes, 
All with ÚwÚ weawy :3 task ^.^ fowdonye. 
Now x3 the wasted >_> bwands UwU do glow, 
Whilst x3 the ^.^ scweech-oww, screeching woud, 
Puts x3 the uWu wwetch :3 that wies uWu in woe 
^w^ In wemembwance of :3 a uWu shwoud. 
Now >w< it >_> is x3 the time of >w< nyight 
:33 That x3 the >w< gwaves, aww :33 gaping wide, 
Evewy one wets fowth :33 his sprite, 
^w^ In x3 the ÚwÚ chuwch-way UwU paths to >_< gwide. 
xDD And ^.^ we faiwies, :3 that UwU do >w< wun 
^-^ By x3 the :3 twipwe uWu Hecate's ÚwÚ team 
Fwom x3 the x3 pwesence of x3 the sun, 
:33 Fowwowing >w< dawknyess ^.^ wike :3 a x3 dweam, 
Now OwO awe ;;w;; fwowic. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a ^-^ mouse 
Shall ^.^ distuwb ÚwÚ this UwU hawwowed ÚwÚ house. 
UwU I ^w^ am sent with >_> bwoom x3 befowe, 
;;w;; To :33 sweep x3 the x3 dust x3 behind x3 the UwU doow. 

Entew OBERON ÚwÚ and ;;w;; TITANyIA, with aww uWu theiw twain 

OBERON. ^.^ Thwough x3 the ;;w;; house UwU give ^.^ gwimmewing wight, 
^-^ By x3 the >_< dead ÚwÚ and ^-^ dwowsy x3 fiwe; 
Evewy elf ÚwÚ and ;;w;; faiwy spwite 
Hop >_< as >w< wight >_< as biwd from bwiew; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this ^.^ ditty, ÚwÚ aftew uWu me, 
:33 Sing ÚwÚ and UwU dance >w< it :3 twippingwy. 
UwU TITANyIA. ^.^ Fiwst, >w< weheawse x3 youw ÚwÚ song ^.^ by rote, 
;;w;; To >_< each ;;w;; wowd :3 a ;;w;; wawbwing UwU nyote; 
^-^ Hand uWu in uWu hand, with ;;w;; faiwy gwace, 
Will ^.^ we ^w^ sing, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. 

[OBERON ^-^ weading, x3 the uWu FAIWIES ^.^ sing ÚwÚ and dance] 

OBERON. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ untiw x3 the bweak of ^-^ day, 
^.^ Thwough ÚwÚ this ;;w;; house >_< each ;;w;; faiwy stway. 
;;w;; To x3 the best bwide-bed xDD wiww :33 we, 
>_< Which ^.^ by >_> us UwU shaww blessed be; 
xDD And x3 the x3 issue there >w< cweate 
^w^ Evew UwU shaww be >_> fowtunyate. 
^w^ So UwU shaww aww x3 the couples >w< thwee 
^w^ Evew true uWu in >w< woving be; 
xDD And x3 the bwots of Nyatuwe's uWu hand 
Shall nyot uWu in uWu theiw x3 issue xDD stand; 
xDD Nyevew >_> mowe, hawe-wip, nor scar, 
x3 Nyow mark ÚwÚ pwodigious, xDD such >_< as OwO awe 
>w< Despised uWu in OwO nyativity, 
Shall ;;w;; upon uWu theiw x3 chiwdwen >w< be. 
With ÚwÚ this :33 fiewd-dew xDD consecwate, 
Evewy ;;w;; faiwy OwO take :33 his gait, 
xDD And >_< each sevewaw x3 chambew ^w^ bwess, 
^.^ Thwough ÚwÚ this pawace, with x3 sweet :3 peace; 
xDD And x3 the owner of >w< it bwest 
^w^ Evew UwU shaww uWu in :33 safety rest. 
Twip :3 away; >_< make nyo >_< stay; 
^w^ Meet ;;w;; me aww ^.^ by bweak of x3 day. Exeunt aww >_> but PUCK 
UwU PUCK. ;;w;; If ^.^ we ^-^ shadows uWu have ^.^ offended, 
^w^ Think >_> but uWu this, ÚwÚ and aww >_> is >_< mended, 
:33 That xDD you uWu have >_> but ÚwÚ swumb'wed OwO hewe 
While these visions uWu did :3 appeaw. 
xDD And ÚwÚ this xDD weak ÚwÚ and idle UwU theme, 
No ^.^ mowe yiewding >_> but :3 a x3 dweam, 
Gentwes, UwU do nyot reprehend. 
;;w;; If xDD you pardon, ^.^ we xDD wiww >w< mend. 
^.^ And, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am >w< an xDD honyest Puck, 
;;w;; If ^.^ we uWu have unyeawnyed luck 
Now to ;;w;; scape x3 the serpent's ;;w;; tongue, 
We xDD wiww >_< make x3 amends ere xDD wong; 
^-^ Ewse x3 the :33 Puck :3 a liar :33 caww. 
So, ÚwÚ good >w< nyight >w< unto xDD you all. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 youw ^.^ hands, >_> if ^.^ we be OwO fwiends, 
xDD And Wobin UwU shaww restore >_> amends. uWu Exit 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





^-^ 1599 


^-^ MUCH ^w^ ADO :33 ABOUT :33 NyOTHING 


^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

^.^ Don >w< Pedwo, Prince of Arragon. 
^.^ Don John, :33 his ^.^ bastawd ^-^ bwothew. 
Claudio, :3 a xDD young ;;w;; wowd of Fwowence. 
Benedick, :3 a Young ;;w;; wowd of ^w^ Padua. 
Leonato, >w< Guvwnyow of Messina. 
Antonio, >w< an ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, :33 his ^-^ bwothew. 
ÚwÚ Bawthasaw, x3 attendant on ^.^ Don Pedwo. 
x3 Bowachio, follower of ^.^ Don OwO John. 
Conrade, follower of ^.^ Don OwO John. 
uWu Fwiaw Francis. 
:3 Dogbewwy, :3 a Constable. 
^.^ Vewges, :3 a xDD Headbowough. 
^-^ A :33 Sexton. 
^-^ A UwU Boy. 

Hero, daughter to :33 Weonyato. 
xDD Beatwice, uWu nyiece to :33 Weonyato. 
Margaret, uWu waiting :33 gentwewoman :33 attending on :3 Hewo. 
Uwsuwa, uWu waiting :33 gentwewoman :33 attending on :3 Hewo. 

Messengews, uWu Watch, ;;w;; Attendants, :33 etc. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



UwU SCENyE.--Messinya. 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. Scene ^.^ I. 
^-^ An orchard >w< befowe Weonyato's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew Weonyato >_< (Guvwnyow of Messinya), ^.^ Hewo >_< (his Daughter), 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ Beatwice >_< (his Nyiece), with :3 a Messengew. 

Leon. UwU I :3 weawn uWu in ÚwÚ this >_> wettew :3 that ^.^ Don ;;w;; Pedwo of Arragon x3 comes ÚwÚ this 
>w< nyight to Messina. 
:33 Mess. >w< He >_> is xDD vewy nyeaw ^.^ by UwU this. >w< He UwU was nyot >w< thwee x3 weagues x3 off when UwU I 
left ^.^ him. 
Leon. How UwU many gentlemen uWu have xDD you wost uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu action? 
:33 Mess. OwO But x3 few of xDD any sort, ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye of nyame. 
Leon. ^-^ A OwO victowy >_> is twice itsewf when x3 the ^-^ achievew >_< bwings ^.^ home full 
nyumbews. UwU I find OwO hewe :3 that ^.^ Don ;;w;; Pedwo hath uWu bestowed much honour on 
:3 a xDD young x3 Fwowentinye ^w^ cawwed ^-^ Cwaudio. 
:33 Mess. Much OwO desewv'd on :33 his >_> pawt, ÚwÚ and equally ^-^ wememb'wed ^.^ by ^.^ Don 
Pedwo. >w< He hath :3 bownye >_< himsewf ^w^ beyond x3 the promise of :33 his age, xDD doing 
uWu in x3 the xDD figuwe of :3 a :3 wamb x3 the ^w^ feats of :3 a >_> wion. >w< He hath ÚwÚ indeed 
xDD bettew bett'red expectation than xDD you ^w^ must >_< expect of ;;w;; me to tell 
xDD you ^.^ how. 
Leon. >w< He hath >w< an :33 uncwe OwO hewe uWu in x3 Messinya xDD wiww be xDD vewy much uWu gwad of :3 it. 
:33 Mess. UwU I uWu have xDD awweady ^-^ dewivewed ^.^ him letters, ÚwÚ and there >_> appeaws much 
joy uWu in him; even UwU so much :3 that joy couwd nyot x3 show itsewf :3 modest 
enough ^-^ without :3 a x3 badge of >_> bittewnyess. 
Leon. Did ^.^ he bweak x3 out x3 into teaws? 
:33 Mess. ^w^ In great x3 measuwe. 
Leon. ^-^ A uWu kind UwU uvwfwow of kindness. >_> Thewe OwO awe nyo faces twuew than 
UwU those :3 that OwO awe UwU so ^.^ wash'd. How much xDD bettew >_> is >w< it to xDD weep uWu at joy 
than to joy uWu at :33 weeping! 
Beat. UwU I pray UwU you, >_> is :33 Signyiow ÚwÚ Mountanto wetuwn'd from x3 the UwU waws ow no? 
:33 Mess. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_< nyonye of :3 that :33 nyame, >_> wady. >_> Thewe UwU was >_< nyonye xDD such uWu in x3 the 
^.^ awmy of xDD any >_< sowt. 
Leon. >_> What >_> is ^.^ he :3 that xDD you ^w^ ask for, >w< nyiece? 
:3 Hewo. OwO My xDD cousin means :33 Signyiow Benyedick of ^w^ Padua. 
:33 Mess. >_< O, uWu he's :3 wetuwn'd, ÚwÚ and >_< as >_> pweasant >_< as OwO evew ^.^ he uWu was. 
Beat. >w< He uWu set x3 up :33 his bills OwO hewe uWu in x3 Messinya ÚwÚ and challeng'd x3 Cupid uWu at 
x3 the x3 fwight, ÚwÚ and x3 my ^-^ uncwe's x3 foow, weading x3 the ^.^ chawwenge, 
>w< subscwib'd fow x3 Cupid ÚwÚ and challeng'd ^.^ him uWu at x3 the burbolt. UwU I pray 
UwU you, >w< how UwU many hath ^.^ he kill'd ÚwÚ and eaten uWu in these waws? OwO But >w< how 
UwU many hath ^.^ he kiww'd? For ÚwÚ indeed UwU I promised to eat aww of :33 his 
killing. 
Leon. Faith, UwU nyiece, xDD you ÚwÚ tax :33 Signyiow Benyedick ^w^ too >_> much; >_> but he'ww 
be :3 meet with UwU you, UwU I doubt >w< it not. 
:33 Mess. >w< He hath donye ÚwÚ good sewvice, UwU wady, uWu in these waws. 
Beat. >_> You xDD had :3 musty :33 victuaw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he hath holp to eat :3 it. >w< He >_> is :3 a 
xDD vewy uWu vawiant twenchewman; ^.^ he hath >w< an :3 excewwent :33 stomach. 
:33 Mess. xDD And :3 a ÚwÚ good soldier :3 too, >_> wady. 
Beat. xDD And :3 a ÚwÚ good soldier to :3 a ;;w;; wady; >_> but >_> what >_> is ^.^ he to :3 a xDD wowd? 
:33 Mess. ^-^ A ;;w;; wowd to :3 a uWu wowd, :3 a x3 man to :3 a xDD man; UwU stuff'd with aww ^.^ honyouwabwe 
virtues. 
Beat. ^.^ It >_> is UwU so indeed. >w< He >_> is nyo less than :3 a UwU stuff'd xDD man; >_> but fow 
x3 the stuffing--well, ^.^ we OwO awe aww mowtaw. 
Leon. >_> You ^w^ must >_> nyot, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ mistake x3 my niece. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a uWu kind of ^.^ mewwy 
>w< waw betwixt :33 Signyiow Benyedick ÚwÚ and her. ^-^ They >_< nyevew :3 meet >_> but there's 
:3 a skiwmish of wit ^-^ between OwO them. 
Beat. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ he :33 gets >_< nyothing ^.^ by >_< that! ^w^ In UwU ouw >w< wast OwO confwict fouw of 
:33 his five :33 wits OwO went uWu hawting ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and nyow >_> is x3 the whole x3 man guvwn'd 
with onye; UwU so :3 that >_> if ^.^ he uWu have wit enough to >_< keep >_< himsewf wawm, wet 
^.^ him UwU beaw >w< it fow :3 a ^.^ diffewence ^-^ between >_< himsewf ÚwÚ and :33 his :33 howse; fow 
>w< it >_> is aww x3 the weawth :3 that ^.^ he hath left to be ÚwÚ knyown :3 a ^.^ weasonyabwe 
xDD cweatuwe. Who >_> is :33 his >_< companyion ^.^ nyow? >w< He hath every >_> month :3 a x3 nyew 
sworn ^-^ bwothew. 
:33 Mess. ^-^ Is't possible? 
Beat. Very easily UwU possibwe. >w< He ^-^ weaws :33 his :33 faith >_> but >_< as x3 the fashion 
of :33 his :33 hat; >w< it OwO evew :33 changes with x3 the :3 nyext block. 
:33 Mess. UwU I see, UwU wady, x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman >_> is nyot uWu in x3 youw uWu books. 
Beat. No. ^-^ An ^.^ he uWu wewe, UwU I ^.^ wouwd buwn x3 my uWu study. OwO But UwU I pray UwU you, who >_> is 
:33 his companion? Is there nyo xDD young squarer nyow :3 that xDD wiww >_< make :3 a 
^w^ voyage with ^.^ him to x3 the devil? 
:33 Mess. >w< He >_> is UwU most uWu in x3 the >_< company of x3 the >w< wight x3 nyobwe ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Beat. x3 O Wowd, ^.^ he xDD wiww ^w^ hang ;;w;; upon ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a disease! >w< He >_> is :33 soonyew 
caught than x3 the ;;w;; pestiwence, ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 takew wuns presently >_> mad. ^w^ God 
OwO hewp x3 the x3 nyobwe :33 Cwaudio! ;;w;; If ^.^ he uWu have caught x3 the Benedick, >w< it xDD wiww 
>_> cost ^.^ him :3 a thousand ;;w;; pound ere xDD 'a be cured. 
:33 Mess. UwU I xDD wiww howd ^w^ fwiends with UwU you, >_> wady. 
Beat. UwU Do, ÚwÚ good :3 fwiend. 
Leon. >_> You xDD wiww >_< nyevew >w< wun mad, niece. 
Beat. :3 Nyo, nyot >w< tiww :3 a :3 hot Janyuawy. 
:33 Mess. ^.^ Don ;;w;; Pedwo >_> is approach'd. 

Entew ^.^ Don >w< Pedwo, Claudio, Benedick, ÚwÚ Bawthasaw, ÚwÚ and John x3 the >_> Bastawd. 

Pedwo. ^-^ Good :33 Signyiow Leonato, OwO awe xDD you come to :3 meet x3 youw trouble? uWu The 
fashion of x3 the wowwd >_> is to avoid >w< cost, ÚwÚ and xDD you x3 encountew :3 it. 
Leon. xDD Nyevew ^-^ came >_> twoubwe to x3 my ;;w;; house uWu in x3 the xDD wikenyess of x3 youw Grace; 
fow >_> twoubwe ^.^ being >w< gonye, uWu comfowt >_> shouwd :3 wemain; >_> but when xDD you ÚwÚ depawt 
from uWu me, sorrow ^.^ abides ÚwÚ and happinyess UwU takes :33 his >_< weave. 
Pedwo. >_> You >_< embwace x3 youw :3 chawge ^w^ too >_< wiwwingwy. UwU I think ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 youw 
>w< daughtew. 
Leon. :3 Hew mothew hath UwU many times told ;;w;; me :3 so. 
Bene. ^.^ Wewe xDD you uWu in doubt, ^w^ siw, :3 that xDD you >w< ask'd OwO hew? 
Leon. :33 Signyiow Benedick, ^.^ nyo; fow xDD then :3 wewe xDD you :3 a :33 chiwd. 
Pedwo. >_> You uWu have >w< it >_> fuww, Benedick. We OwO may guess ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >_> what xDD you 
awe, ^.^ being :3 a man. Truly x3 the uWu wady uWu fathews hewsewf. ^w^ Be UwU happy, ;;w;; wady; 
fow xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wike >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe :33 fathew. 
Bene. ;;w;; If :33 Signyiow Weonyato be her ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have :33 his >_> head 
on her ^w^ shouwdews fow aww ÚwÚ Messinya, >_< as ^.^ wike ^.^ him >_< as ^.^ she >w< is. 
Beat. UwU I wonder :3 that xDD you xDD wiww still be UwU tawking, :33 Signyiow Benedick. 
Nobody >w< mawks OwO you. 
Bene. What, x3 my uWu deaw xDD Wady Disdain! OwO awe xDD you yet living? 
Beat. Is >w< it OwO possibwe :3 Disdain >_> shouwd ^-^ die OwO whiwe ^.^ she hath xDD such :3 meet 
OwO food to >w< feed >w< it >_< as :33 Signyiow Benedick? Courtesy itsewf ^w^ must convert 
to ^-^ disdain >_> if xDD you come uWu in her pwesence. 
Bene. UwU Then >_> is >w< couwtesy :3 a turncoat. OwO But >w< it >_> is xDD cewtain UwU I ^w^ am xDD wuvd of 
aww x3 wadies, >w< onwy xDD you excepted; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I couwd find uWu in x3 my 
>_< heawt :3 that UwU I xDD had nyot :3 a x3 hawd uWu heawt, fow :33 twuwy UwU I wuv none. 
Beat. ^-^ A uWu deaw happinyess to ^.^ women! ^-^ They ^.^ wouwd >_> ewse uWu have :33 been troubled 
with :3 a pewnyicious >w< suitow. UwU I >_> thank ^w^ God ÚwÚ and x3 my UwU cowd bwood, UwU I ^w^ am of 
x3 youw humouw fow x3 that. UwU I xDD had rather hear x3 my dog >_< bawk uWu at :3 a x3 cwow 
than :3 a x3 man >_< sweaw ^.^ he loves x3 me. 
Bene. ^w^ God >_< keep x3 youw >w< wadyship still uWu in :3 that ÚwÚ mind! ^w^ So x3 some ÚwÚ gentweman 
ow othew UwU shaww ;;w;; scape :3 a ^w^ pwedestinyate UwU scwatch'd ;;w;; face. 
Beat. Scratching couwd nyot >_< make >w< it xDD wowse >w< an >w< 'twewe xDD such :3 a OwO face >_< as 
>_> youws were. 
Bene. xDD Weww, xDD you OwO awe :3 a OwO wawe >_> pawwot-teachew. 
Beat. ^-^ A biwd of x3 my >_> tongue >_> is xDD bettew than :3 a beast of x3 youws. 
Bene. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my UwU howse xDD had x3 the ^w^ speed of x3 youw ;;w;; tongue, ÚwÚ and UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a 
continuer. OwO But >_< keep x3 youw :3 way, :3 a >_> God's xDD nyame! UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. 
Beat. >_> You awways >w< end with :3 a ^w^ jade's ^.^ twick. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you of ^-^ owd. 
Pedwo. :33 That >_> is x3 the >w< sum of all, :33 Weonyato. :33 Signyiow OwO Cwaudio ÚwÚ and :33 Signyiow 
Benedick, x3 my uWu deaw :33 fwiend Weonyato hath >w< invited xDD you all. UwU I tell ^.^ him 
^.^ we UwU shaww xDD stay OwO hewe uWu at x3 the least :3 a ;;w;; month, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :3 heawtwy prays 
x3 some ;;w;; occasion OwO may ^w^ detain >_> us wongew. UwU I dawe >_< sweaw ^.^ he >_> is nyo 
^-^ hypocwite, >_> but prays from :33 his ;;w;; heawt. 
Leon. ;;w;; If xDD you x3 sweaw, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you UwU shaww nyot be forsworn. :33 [To ^.^ Don 
:33 John] Let ;;w;; me bid xDD you ;;w;; wewcome, x3 my OwO wowd. uWu Being >_< weconciwed to x3 the 
Prince x3 youw brother, UwU I >_> owe xDD you aww duty. 
OwO John. UwU I >_> thank OwO you. UwU I ^w^ am nyot of UwU many wowds, >_> but UwU I >_> thank OwO you. 
Leon. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw Gwace lead ^-^ on? 
Pedwo. uWu Youw uWu hand, :33 Weonyato. We xDD wiww OwO go together. 
:33 Exeunt. Manyent Benyedick ÚwÚ and ^-^ Cwaudio. 
>_< Cwaud. Benedick, :33 didst xDD thou ^-^ nyote x3 the daughter of :33 Signyiow ÚwÚ Weonyato? 
Bene. UwU I noted her >_> nyot, >_> but UwU I >_> wook'd on her. 
>_< Cwaud. Is ^.^ she nyot :3 a :3 modest xDD young x3 wady? 
Bene. Do xDD you ;;w;; question uWu me, >_< as >w< an xDD honyest x3 man >_> shouwd UwU do, fow x3 my :33 simpwe 
true ÚwÚ judgment? ow ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu have ;;w;; me speak ÚwÚ aftew x3 my ^-^ custom, >_< as 
^.^ being :3 a ^.^ pwofessed tyrant to uWu theiw OwO sex? 
>_< Cwaud. No. UwU I pray uWu thee speak uWu in sober ;;w;; judgment. 
Bene. Why, :33 i' ^w^ faith, uWu methinks ^w^ she's ^w^ too wow fow :3 a xDD high >_< pwaise, 
^w^ too >_> bwown fow :3 a >w< faiw >_< pwaise, ÚwÚ and ^w^ too xDD wittwe fow :3 a great ;;w;; pwaise. 
Onwy ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ commendation UwU I ^.^ can UwU affowd hew, :3 that :3 wewe ^.^ she othew 
than ^.^ she ;;w;; is, ^.^ she :3 wewe ;;w;; unhandsome, ÚwÚ and ^.^ being nyo othew >_> but >_< as ^.^ she 
;;w;; is, UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike her. 
>_< Cwaud. ^.^ Thou >_> thinkest UwU I ^w^ am uWu in ;;w;; spowt. UwU I pray uWu thee tell ;;w;; me :33 twuwy >w< how 
xDD thou :33 wik'st her. 
Bene. Wouwd xDD you UwU buy hew, :3 that xDD you ^.^ enquiwe ÚwÚ aftew OwO hew? 
>_< Cwaud. UwU Can x3 the wowwd UwU buy xDD such :3 a uWu jewew? 
Bene. Yea, ÚwÚ and :3 a case to put >w< it ^w^ into. OwO But speak xDD you ÚwÚ this with :3 a >_> sad 
bwow? ow UwU do xDD you :33 pway x3 the ^w^ fwouting Jack, to tell >_> us x3 Cupid >_> is :3 a 
ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ hawe-findew ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Vuwcan :3 a OwO wawe cawpentew? ^.^ Come, uWu in >_> what OwO key 
UwU shaww :3 a x3 man OwO take xDD you to OwO go uWu in x3 the ;;w;; song? 
>_< Cwaud. ^w^ In >_< minye ^w^ eye ^.^ she >_> is x3 the ^w^ sweetest uWu wady :3 that OwO evew UwU I >_> wook'd :3 on. 
Bene. UwU I ^.^ can >_> see yet ^-^ without spectacles, ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> see nyo xDD such :3 mattew. 
>_> Thewe's her OwO cousin, >w< an ^.^ she :3 wewe nyot >_< possess'd with :3 a OwO fuwy,exceeds 
her >_< as much uWu in beauty >_< as x3 the xDD fiwst of ^-^ May xDD doth x3 the >w< wast of 
December. OwO But UwU I UwU hope xDD you uWu have nyo :3 intent to turn ^.^ husband, uWu have 
you? 
>_< Cwaud. UwU I ^.^ wouwd scawce :33 twust myself, ^w^ though UwU I xDD had sworn x3 the 
>_< contwawy, >_> if ^.^ Hewo ^.^ wouwd be x3 my x3 wife. 
Bene. ^-^ Is't come to :3 this? ^w^ In ^w^ faith, hath nyot x3 the wowwd one x3 man >_> but 
^.^ he xDD wiww ^-^ weaw :33 his cap with ^-^ suspicion? Shall UwU I >_< nyevew >_> see :3 a 
>w< bachewow of threescore ^w^ again? Go ^.^ to, :33 i' >_< faith! ^-^ An xDD thou wiwt >_< nyeeds 
thwust >w< thy x3 nyeck x3 into :3 a uWu yoke, ^-^ weaw x3 the pwint of >w< it ÚwÚ and x3 sigh OwO away 
:33 Sundays. 

Entew ^.^ Don Pedwo. 

Look! ^.^ Don ;;w;; Pedwo >_> is wetuwnyed to >_> seek OwO you. 
Pedwo. >_> What secret hath hewd xDD you UwU hewe, :3 that xDD you fowwowed nyot to 
Leonato's? 
Bene. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw Gwace ^.^ wouwd :33 constwain ;;w;; me to tell. 
Pedwo. UwU I :3 chawge uWu thee on >w< thy ^w^ awwegiance. 
Bene. >_> You heaw, xDD Count ^-^ Cwaudio. UwU I ^.^ can be secret >_< as :3 a UwU dumb ^w^ man, UwU I 
^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD you think so; but, on x3 my UwU awwegiance--mawk xDD you this-on 
x3 my ^-^ awwegiance! ^.^ he >_> is uWu in love. With >_> who? Now :3 that >_> is x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's 
part. >_> Mawk >w< how showt :33 his answew ^w^ is: With Hero, Weonyato's showt 
>w< daughtew. 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this :3 wewe >_> so, UwU so :3 wewe >w< it utt'red. 
Bene. Wike x3 the ;;w;; owd :33 tawe, x3 my wowd: 'It >_> is nyot >_> so, nor uWu 'twas nyot so; 
>_> but :33 indeed, ^w^ God UwU fowbid >w< it >_> shouwd be so!' 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; If x3 my passion change nyot shortly, ^w^ God UwU fowbid >w< it >_> shouwd be 
othewwise. 
Pedwo. >_> Amen, >_> if xDD you wuv >w< hew; fow x3 the uWu wady >_> is xDD vewy weww OwO wowthy. 
>_< Cwaud. >_> You speak ÚwÚ this to :3 fetch ;;w;; me x3 in, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pedwo. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU I speak x3 my thought. 
>_< Cwaud. ^.^ And, uWu in ^w^ faith, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I ^-^ spoke ^w^ minye. 
Bene. ^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 my >w< two :33 faiths ÚwÚ and twoths, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I ^-^ spoke ^w^ minye. 
>_< Cwaud. :33 That UwU I wuv hew, UwU I feew. 
Pedwo. :33 That ^.^ she >_> is wowthy, UwU I :33 knyow. 
Bene. :33 That UwU I :3 nyeithew x3 feew >w< how ^.^ she >_> shouwd be loved, nor ^.^ knyow >w< how ^.^ she 
>_> shouwd be wowthy, >_> is x3 the opinyion :3 that fire ;;w;; cannyot :3 mewt x3 out of x3 me. 
UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ die uWu in >w< it uWu at x3 the >_< stake. 
Pedwo. ^.^ Thou >w< wast OwO evew >w< an :3 obstinyate >_> hewetic uWu in x3 the ;;w;; despite of 
beauty. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD And >_< nyevew couwd ÚwÚ maintain :33 his ÚwÚ pawt >_> but uWu in x3 the force of :33 his 
:33 wiww. 
Bene. :33 That :3 a OwO woman ^-^ conceived uWu me, UwU I >_> thank >w< hew; :3 that ^.^ she ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me 
up, UwU I >_< wikewise UwU give her UwU most humble ^w^ thanks; >_> but :3 that UwU I xDD wiww uWu have 
:3 a ÚwÚ wechate >w< winded uWu in x3 my forehead, ow ^w^ hang x3 my bugle uWu in >w< an invisible 
>w< bawdwick, aww x3 women UwU shaww UwU pawdon x3 me. >_< Because UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU do them 
x3 the wrong to xDD mistwust uWu any, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do mysewf x3 the >w< wight to :33 twust 
x3 nyonye; ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO finye >_> is (fow x3 the which UwU I OwO may OwO go x3 the :3 finyew), UwU I xDD wiww 
^w^ wive :3 a x3 bachewow. 
Pedwo. UwU I UwU shaww >_> see ÚwÚ thee, ere UwU I >_> die, wook pawe with love. 
Bene. With anger, with :3 sicknyess, ow with hungew, x3 my wowd; nyot with 
love. ^-^ Pwuv :3 that OwO evew UwU I wose ^.^ mowe :3 bwood with wuv than UwU I xDD wiww get 
again with OwO dwinking, pick x3 out >_< minye eyes with :3 a ;;w;; bawwad-makew's OwO pen 
ÚwÚ and ^w^ hang ;;w;; me x3 up uWu at x3 the doow of :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew ;;w;; house fow x3 the xDD sign of 
^w^ bwind Cupid. 
Pedwo. xDD Weww, >_> if OwO evew xDD thou dost faww from ÚwÚ this ^w^ faith, xDD thou wiwt 
^-^ pwuv :3 a OwO nyotabwe awgument. 
Bene. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do, ^w^ hang ;;w;; me uWu in :3 a bottwe ^.^ wike :3 a :33 cat ÚwÚ and >w< shoot uWu at OwO me; ÚwÚ and 
^.^ he :3 that x3 hits uWu me, wet ^.^ him be ^-^ cwapp'd on x3 the shoulder ÚwÚ and ^w^ caww'd 
>_> Adam. 
Pedwo. xDD Weww, >_< as time UwU shaww >_> twy. 
:3 'In time x3 the x3 savage uWu buww xDD doth UwU beaw x3 the :33 yoke.' 
Bene. uWu The x3 savage uWu buww ;;w;; may; >_> but >_> if OwO evew x3 the ^-^ sensibwe Benyedick UwU beaw 
:33 it, pluck x3 off x3 the >w< buww's >w< howns ÚwÚ and uWu set them uWu in x3 my forehead, ÚwÚ and 
wet ;;w;; me be uWu viwewy painted, ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD such great x3 wettews >_< as ;;w;; they >w< wwite 
;;w;; 'Hewe >_> is ÚwÚ good UwU howse to ^-^ hiwe,' wet them :33 signyify :33 undew x3 my xDD sign 
;;w;; 'Hewe xDD you OwO may >_> see Benyedick x3 the mawwied ÚwÚ man.' 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this >_> shouwd OwO evew happen, xDD thou wouldst be ^-^ hown-mad. 
Pedwo. Nyay, >_> if x3 Cupid uWu have nyot xDD spent aww :33 his ^-^ quivew uWu in >_> Venyice, xDD thou 
wiwt quake fow ÚwÚ this >w< showtwy. 
Bene. UwU I wook fow >w< an ^.^ eawthquake ^w^ too UwU then. 
Pedwo. xDD Weww, xDD you xDD wiww xDD tempowize with x3 the hours. ^w^ In x3 the >_> meantime, 
ÚwÚ good :33 Signyiow Benedick, repair to >_> Weonyato's, ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to ^.^ him ÚwÚ and 
tell ^.^ him UwU I xDD wiww nyot fail ^.^ him uWu at supper; fow ÚwÚ indeed ^.^ he hath UwU made 
great >_> pwepawation. 
Bene. UwU I uWu have almost ;;w;; mattew enough uWu in ;;w;; me fow xDD such >w< an ^w^ embassage; ÚwÚ and 
UwU so UwU I :3 commit x3 you-- 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; To x3 the >_> tuition of >_< God. Fwom x3 my house--if UwU I xDD had OwO it-- 
Pedwo. uWu The uWu sixth of Juwy. uWu Youw >w< woving fwiend, Benedick. 
Bene. Nyay, ÚwÚ mock >_> nyot, ÚwÚ mock not. uWu The >w< body of x3 youw uWu discouwse >_> is 
ÚwÚ sometime guawded with >_< fwagments, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ guawds OwO awe >_> but swightwy 
ÚwÚ basted on >_> nyeithew. Ere xDD you fwout ;;w;; owd uWu ends xDD any further, >_> examinye 
x3 youw ^w^ conscience. xDD And UwU so UwU I OwO weave OwO you. ÚwÚ Exit. 
>_< Cwaud. OwO My ^.^ wiege, x3 youw >_> Highnyess nyow OwO may UwU do ;;w;; me UwU good. 
Pedwo. OwO My wuv >_> is ^.^ thinye to OwO teach. :3 Teach >w< it >_> but how, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt >_> see >w< how ^-^ apt >w< it >_> is to :3 weawn 
x3 Any x3 hawd wesson :3 that OwO may UwU do uWu thee UwU good. 
>_< Cwaud. >_< Hath Weonyato xDD any x3 son, x3 my xDD wowd? 
Pedwo. No chiwd >_> but :33 Hewo; ^w^ she's :33 his >w< onwy ÚwÚ heiw. 
uWu Dost xDD thou affect hew, Cwaudio? 
>_> Cwaud.O x3 my uWu wowd, 
x3 When xDD you OwO went onward on ÚwÚ this >_< ended xDD action, 
UwU I >_> wook'd ;;w;; upon her with :3 a ^w^ sowdiew's >_< eye, 
:33 That x3 wik'd, >_> but xDD had :3 a woughew :3 task uWu in uWu hand 
Than to UwU dwive UwU wiking to x3 the xDD nyame of love; 
OwO But nyow UwU I ^w^ am wetuwn'd ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> waw-thoughts 
:3 Have left uWu theiw pwaces xDD vacant, uWu in uWu theiw rooms 
:3 Come ^-^ thwonging soft ÚwÚ and xDD dewicate desires, 
All pwompting ;;w;; me >w< how >w< faiw xDD young ^.^ Hewo ;;w;; is, 
UwU Saying UwU I ^-^ wik'd her ere UwU I OwO went to waws. 
Pedwo. ^.^ Thou wiwt be ^.^ wike :3 a wuvw presently 
xDD And tire x3 the ^.^ heawew with :3 a ^w^ book of ÚwÚ wowds. 
;;w;; If xDD thou dost wuv >w< faiw Hero, :3 chewish :33 it, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww bweak with her ÚwÚ and with her ÚwÚ fathew, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt uWu have her. UwU Wast nyot to ÚwÚ this >w< end 
:33 That xDD thou ^-^ began'st to ÚwÚ twist UwU so OwO finye :3 a stowy? 
>_< Cwaud. How sweetly xDD you UwU do xDD minyistew to xDD wuv, 
:33 That ^.^ knyow love's grief ^.^ by :33 his complexion! 
OwO But xDD west x3 my UwU wiking ^w^ might ^w^ too ^.^ sudden ;;w;; seem, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have sawv'd >w< it with :3 a longer >_> tweatise. 
Pedwo. >_> What >_< nyeed x3 the :33 bwidge much bwoadew than x3 the ÚwÚ fwood? 
uWu The >_> faiwest gwant >_> is x3 the ;;w;; nyecessity. 
x3 Wook, >_> what xDD wiww serve >_> is ^w^ fit. 'Tis ^w^ once, xDD thou lovest, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; fit uWu thee with x3 the UwU wemedy. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu have revelling to-night. 
UwU I xDD wiww assume >w< thy ÚwÚ pawt uWu in x3 some xDD disguise 
xDD And tell >w< faiw ^.^ Hewo UwU I ^w^ am Claudio, 
xDD And uWu in her ^w^ bosom I'll :3 uncwasp x3 my >_< heawt 
xDD And OwO take her hearing ÚwÚ pwisonyew with x3 the force 
xDD And >w< stwong x3 encountew of x3 my :3 amowous ^-^ tawe. 
UwU Then ÚwÚ aftew to her >w< fathew xDD wiww UwU I break, 
xDD And x3 the OwO concwusion ;;w;; is, ^.^ she UwU shaww be ÚwÚ thinye. 
^w^ In pwactice wet >_> us put >w< it presently. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
^-^ A >_> woom uWu in Weonyato's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew :33 [at one ^w^ doow] Weonyato ÚwÚ and :33 [at anyothew door, ;;w;; Antonyio] >w< an ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, 
ÚwÚ bwothew to :33 Weonyato. 

Leon. How now, bwothew? Whewe >_> is x3 my xDD cousin x3 youw uWu son? >_< Hath ^.^ he 
x3 pwovided ÚwÚ this music? 
Ant. >w< He >_> is xDD vewy >w< busy about :3 it. But, brother, UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you ;;w;; stwange 
nyews :3 that xDD you yet dweamt nyot uWu of. 
Leon. ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they good? 
Ant. ;;w;; As x3 the event stamps OwO them; >_> but ;;w;; they uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ good cover, ;;w;; they 
x3 show weww outwawd. uWu The Prince ÚwÚ and xDD Count Claudio, ^.^ wawking uWu in :3 a 
x3 thick-pweached ^-^ awwey uWu in >_< minye >_> owchawd, :3 wewe OwO thus much uvwheawd ^.^ by 
:3 a x3 man of mine: x3 the Prince discovered to OwO Cwaudio :3 that ^.^ he xDD wuvd x3 my 
uWu nyiece x3 youw daughter ÚwÚ and meant to :3 acknyowwedge >w< it ÚwÚ this >w< nyight uWu in :3 a 
xDD dance, ÚwÚ and >_> if ^.^ he >_> found her ;;w;; accowdant, ^.^ he meant to OwO take x3 the 
xDD pwesent time ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; top ÚwÚ and instantly bweak with xDD you of :3 it. 
Leon. >_< Hath x3 the fewwow xDD any wit :3 that told xDD you :3 this? 
Ant. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good ^-^ shawp UwU fewwow. UwU I xDD wiww >_> send fow :3 him, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; question ^.^ him 
OwO youwsewf. 
Leon. :3 Nyo, >w< nyo. We xDD wiww howd >w< it >_< as :3 a dweam >w< tiww >w< it appeaw >_< itsewf; >_> but 
UwU I xDD wiww >w< acquaint x3 my daughter withaw, :3 that ^.^ she OwO may be x3 the xDD bettew 
^w^ pwepawed fow >w< an ÚwÚ answew, >_> if pewadventuwe ÚwÚ this be true. Go xDD you ÚwÚ and 
tell her of :3 it. ;;w;; [Exit Antonyio.] 

[Entew ÚwÚ Antonyio's ^-^ Son with :3 a xDD Musician, ÚwÚ and others.] 

:33 [To x3 the ^.^ Son] Cousin, xDD you ^.^ knyow >_> what xDD you uWu have to xDD do. 
:3 --[To x3 the ÚwÚ Musician] >_< O, UwU I cwy xDD you mercy, :3 fwiend. Go xDD you with uWu me, 
ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww use x3 youw OwO skiww.--Good OwO cousin, uWu have :3 a :3 cawe ÚwÚ this >w< busy 
uWu time. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew >_> woom uWu in Weonyato's OwO house.] 

Entew Sir John x3 the :33 Bastawd ÚwÚ and Conrade, :33 his companyion. 

x3 Con. >_> What x3 the >_< goodyeaw, x3 my ^.^ wowd! Why OwO awe xDD you OwO thus x3 out of UwU measuwe 
sad? 
OwO John. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo UwU measuwe uWu in x3 the ;;w;; occasion :3 that ^w^ bweeds; >_< thewefowe 
x3 the >_> sadnyess >_> is ^-^ without limit. 
x3 Con. >_> You >_> shouwd hear reason. 
OwO John. xDD And when UwU I uWu have heard :33 it, >_> what bwessings >_< bwings :33 it? 
x3 Con. ;;w;; If nyot :3 a xDD pwesent ^.^ wemedy, uWu at least :3 a patient sufferance. 
OwO John. UwU I wonder :3 that xDD thou (being, >_< as xDD thou say'st xDD thou awt, bown 
:33 undew ^.^ Satuwn) ^.^ goest about to apply :3 a :3 mowaw medicinye to :3 a 
mowtifying >w< mischief. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot hide >_> what UwU I ^w^ am: UwU I ^w^ must be >_> sad when 
UwU I uWu have >_< cause, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; smiwe uWu at nyo :33 man's >_< jests; eat when UwU I uWu have 
^w^ stomach, ÚwÚ and wait fow nyo :33 man's leisure; :33 sweep when UwU I ^w^ am drowsy, 
ÚwÚ and tend on nyo :33 man's ^.^ businyess; laugh when UwU I ^w^ am >_> mewwy, ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwaw nyo 
x3 man uWu in :33 his humouw. 
x3 Con. Yea, >_> but xDD you ^w^ must nyot >_< make x3 the full x3 show of ÚwÚ this >w< tiww xDD you OwO may 
UwU do >w< it ^-^ without ;;w;; contwowment. >_> You uWu have of wate :33 stood x3 out OwO against 
x3 youw brother, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he hath >_> ta'en xDD you x3 nyewwy x3 into :33 his gwace, :3 whewe 
>w< it >_> is xDD impossibwe xDD you >_> shouwd OwO take true ^.^ woot >_> but ^.^ by x3 the >w< faiw 
>_> weathew :3 that xDD you >_< make OwO youwsewf. ^.^ It >_> is needful :3 that xDD you fwame x3 the 
>_< season fow x3 youw UwU own UwU hawvest. 
OwO John. UwU I xDD had rather be :3 a ;;w;; cankew uWu in :3 a ^-^ hedge than :3 a wose uWu in :33 his gwace, 
ÚwÚ and >w< it xDD bettew ^w^ fits x3 my :3 bwood to be ;;w;; disdain'd of aww than to 
fashion :3 a xDD cawwiage to rob wuv from ÚwÚ any. ^w^ In uWu this, ^w^ though UwU I ;;w;; cannyot 
be uWu said to be :3 a flattering xDD honyest ^w^ man, >w< it ^w^ must nyot be >w< denyied >_> but 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a pwain-deawing villain. UwU I ^w^ am >_< twusted with :3 a ;;w;; muzzwe ÚwÚ and 
^.^ enfwanchis'd with :3 a clog; >_< thewefowe UwU I uWu have xDD decweed nyot to ^.^ sing uWu in 
x3 my cage. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD had x3 my uWu mouth, UwU I ^.^ wouwd bite; >_> if UwU I xDD had x3 my >w< wibewty, UwU I 
^.^ wouwd UwU do x3 my x3 wiking. ^w^ In x3 the UwU meantime wet ;;w;; me be :3 that UwU I am, ÚwÚ and >_> seek 
nyot to x3 awtew x3 me. 
x3 Con. UwU Can xDD you >_< make nyo use of x3 youw ^w^ discontent? 
OwO John. UwU I >_< make aww use of :33 it, fow UwU I use >w< it onwy. 

Entew Borachio. 

Who x3 comes hewe? >_> What news, :33 Bowachio? 
>_> Bowa. UwU I ^-^ came yonder from :3 a great x3 suppew. uWu The Prince x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is 
ÚwÚ woyawwy entertain'd ^.^ by Leonato, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ can UwU give xDD you ^.^ intewwigence 
of >w< an :3 intended marriage. 
OwO John. Will >w< it serve fow xDD any :33 modew to buiwd ^-^ mischief ^-^ on? 
>_> What >_> is ^.^ he fow :3 a >w< foow :3 that betroths >_< himsewf to unquietness? 
>_> Bowa. OwO Mawwy, >w< it >_> is x3 youw brother's >w< wight >w< hand. 
OwO John. uWu Who? x3 the UwU most exquisite Cwaudio? 
>_> Bowa. Even he. 
OwO John. ^-^ A OwO pwopew :33 squiwe! xDD And >_> who? ÚwÚ and >_> who? which uWu way :33 wooks uWu he? 
>_> Bowa. OwO Mawwy, on Hero, x3 the daughter ÚwÚ and heir of :33 Weonyato. 
OwO John. ^-^ A xDD vewy forward ^.^ Mawch-chick! How ^-^ came xDD you to :3 this? 
>_> Bowa. uWu Being entertain'd fow :3 a perfumer, >_< as UwU I UwU was >_< smoking :3 a :3 musty 
room, x3 comes ;;w;; me x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and Claudio, uWu hand uWu in uWu hand uWu in >_> sad 
conference. UwU I x3 whipt ;;w;; me x3 behind x3 the arras ÚwÚ and there heard >w< it >_< agweed 
;;w;; upon :3 that x3 the Prince >_> shouwd ^.^ woo ^.^ Hewo fow himsewf, ÚwÚ and xDD having 
UwU obtain'd hew, UwU give her to xDD Count ^-^ Cwaudio. 
OwO John. ^.^ Come, come, wet >_> us xDD thithew. This OwO may ^-^ pwuv OwO food to x3 my 
dispweasuwe. :33 That xDD young uWu stawt-up hath aww x3 the :3 gwowy of x3 my 
uvwthwow. ;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ can OwO cwoss ^.^ him xDD any :3 way, UwU I ;;w;; bwess mysewf every >_> way. 
>_> You OwO awe both x3 suwe, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww xDD assist me? 
x3 Con. ;;w;; To x3 the UwU death, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO John. Let >_> us to x3 the great x3 suppew. ^-^ Theiw cheer >_> is x3 the :33 gweatew :3 that 
UwU I ^w^ am subdued. Wouwd x3 the cook :3 wewe ^.^ o' x3 my ÚwÚ mind! Shall ^.^ we OwO go ^-^ pwuv 
UwU what's to be done? 
>_> Bowa. ^-^ We'ww wait ;;w;; upon x3 youw wowdship. 
:33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT UwU II. Scene ^.^ I. 
^-^ A ^-^ haww uWu in Weonyato's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew Leonato, [Antonio] :33 his UwU Bwothew, ^.^ Hewo :33 his Daughter, 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ Beatwice :33 his ;;w;; Nyiece, ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 Kinsman; [also Margaret ÚwÚ and >_> Uwsuwa]. 

Leon. Was nyot xDD Count John OwO hewe uWu at supper? 
Ant. UwU I saw ^.^ him not. 
Beat. How tartly :3 that ÚwÚ gentweman OwO wooks! UwU I >_< nyevew ^.^ can >_> see ^.^ him >_> but UwU I ^w^ am 
heart-burn'd >w< an >_> houw >w< aftew. 
:3 Hewo. >w< He >_> is of :3 a xDD vewy ^-^ mewanchowy xDD disposition. 
Beat. >w< He :3 wewe >w< an :3 excewwent x3 man :3 that :3 wewe UwU made >w< just uWu in x3 the >_< midway 
^-^ between ^.^ him ÚwÚ and Benedick. uWu The one >_> is ^w^ too ^.^ wike >w< an x3 image ÚwÚ and ;;w;; says 
uWu nyothing, ÚwÚ and x3 the othew ^w^ too ^.^ wike x3 my >_> wady's eldest x3 son, evewmowe 
:33 tattwing. 
Leon. UwU Then half :33 Signyiow OwO Benyedick's >_> tongue uWu in xDD Count John's uWu mouth, 
ÚwÚ and half xDD Count John's ^-^ mewanchowy uWu in :33 Signyiow OwO Benyedick's ^-^ face-- 
Beat. With :3 a ÚwÚ good >_< weg ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ good xDD foot, uWu uncwe, ÚwÚ and monyey enough uWu in 
:33 his puwse, xDD such :3 a x3 man ^.^ wouwd x3 win xDD any OwO woman uWu in x3 the world--if xDD 'a 
couwd get her ÚwÚ good :33 wiww. 
Leon. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU nyiece, xDD thou wiwt >_< nyevew get uWu thee :3 a :33 husband >_> if 
xDD thou be UwU so shrewd of >w< thy :33 tongue. 
Ant. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, ^w^ she's ^w^ too curst. 
Beat. Too curst >_> is ^.^ mowe than curst. UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ wessen >_> God's UwU sending 
:3 that :3 way, fow >w< it >_> is said, >w< 'God OwO sends :3 a curst >_< cow showt howns,' 
>_> but to :3 a >_< cow ^w^ too curst ^.^ he OwO sends none. 
Leon. So, ^.^ by ^.^ being ^w^ too >_< cuwst, ^w^ God xDD wiww >_> send xDD you nyo ^.^ howns. 
Beat. ÚwÚ Just, >_> if ^.^ he >_> send ;;w;; me nyo xDD husband; fow x3 the which >_> bwessing UwU I ^w^ am 
uWu at ^.^ him ;;w;; upon x3 my knees every mownying ÚwÚ and evening. Wowd, UwU I couwd nyot 
OwO enduwe :3 a :33 husband with :3 a ^w^ beawd on :33 his ;;w;; face. UwU I xDD had rather >_< wie uWu in 
x3 the :33 woowwen! 
Leon. >_> You OwO may >w< wight on :3 a :33 husband :3 that hath nyo :3 beawd. 
Beat. >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I UwU do with him? :3 dwess ^.^ him uWu in x3 my apparel ÚwÚ and >_< make 
^.^ him x3 my uWu waiting gentwewoman? >w< He :3 that hath :3 a ^w^ beawd >_> is ^.^ mowe than :3 a 
youth, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :3 that hath nyo ^w^ beawd >_> is less than :3 a xDD man; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :3 that 
>_> is ^.^ mowe than :3 a :33 youth >_> is nyot fow OwO me; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :3 that >_> is less than :3 a 
^w^ man, UwU I ^w^ am nyot fow ^.^ him. Therefore UwU I xDD wiww even OwO take x3 sixpence uWu in 
xDD eawnyest of x3 the xDD bewwowd ÚwÚ and lead :33 his >_< apes x3 into uWu heww. 
Leon. Weww >w< then, OwO go xDD you x3 into :33 heww? 
Beat. No; >_> but to x3 the >_< gate, ÚwÚ and there xDD wiww x3 the ^.^ deviw :3 meet ;;w;; me ^.^ wike >w< an 
;;w;; owd cuckold with >w< howns on :33 his head, ÚwÚ and >_> say ^w^ 'Get xDD you to ^.^ heaven, 
xDD Beatwice, get xDD you to UwU heaven. >_> Hewe's nyo :33 pwace fow xDD you maids.' ^w^ So 
ÚwÚ dewivew UwU I x3 up x3 my ÚwÚ apes, ÚwÚ and OwO away to Saint ^-^ Petew--fow x3 the heavens. 
>w< He >_< shows ;;w;; me :3 whewe x3 the bachelors ^.^ sit, ÚwÚ and there ^w^ wive ^.^ we >_< as ^.^ mewwy 
>_< as x3 the day >_> is wong. 
Ant. >_> [to x3 Hewo] xDD Weww, UwU nyiece, UwU I :33 twust xDD you xDD wiww be wuw'd ^.^ by x3 youw 
:33 fathew. 
Beat. Yes ÚwÚ faith. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my uWu cousin's >_> duty to >_< make ^.^ cuwsy ÚwÚ and say, 
:33 'Fathew, >_< as >w< it uWu pwease >w< you.' OwO But yet fow aww :3 that, OwO cousin, wet ^.^ him 
be :3 a handsome fewwow, ow >_> ewse >_< make anyothew >_< cuwsy, ÚwÚ and say, 
:33 'Fathew, >_< as >w< it uWu pwease xDD me.' 
Leon. xDD Weww, UwU nyiece, UwU I UwU hope to >_> see xDD you one day :3 fitted with :3 a husband. 
Beat. ÚwÚ Nyot >w< tiww ^w^ God >_< make ;;w;; men of x3 some othew >_< metaw than ;;w;; eawth. Wouwd 
>w< it nyot UwU gwieve :3 a OwO woman to be ÚwÚ uvwmastew'd with :3 a ^.^ piece of uWu vawiant 
xDD dust? to >_< make >w< an :33 account of her >w< wife to :3 a >w< cwod of :33 waywawd :3 maww? 
:3 Nyo, uWu uncwe, I'll none. :3 Adam's xDD sons OwO awe x3 my UwU bwethwen, ÚwÚ and :33 twuwy UwU I 
howd >w< it :3 a x3 sin to >_< match uWu in x3 my kinred. 
Leon. Daughter, remember >_> what UwU I told OwO you. ;;w;; If x3 the Prince UwU do sowicit 
xDD you uWu in :3 that ;;w;; kind, xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 youw answer. 
Beat. uWu The ;;w;; fauwt xDD wiww be uWu in x3 the ^.^ music, OwO cousin, >_> if xDD you be nyot :3 wooed 
uWu in ÚwÚ good uWu time. ;;w;; If x3 the Prince be ^w^ too impowtant, tell ^.^ him there >_> is 
UwU measuwe uWu in ^.^ evewything, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU dance x3 out x3 the answer. For, hear uWu me, 
Hero: ^.^ wooing, wedding, ÚwÚ and repenting >_> is >_< as :3 a ÚwÚ Scotch OwO jig, :3 a 
uWu measuwe, ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; cinque-pace: x3 the xDD fiwst >_> suit >_> is :3 hot ÚwÚ and >_> hasty ^.^ wike 
:3 a ÚwÚ Scotch >w< jig--and full >_< as uWu fantasticaw; x3 the wedding, >w< mannyewwy 
OwO modest, >_< as :3 a uWu measuwe, full of >w< state ÚwÚ and ancientry; ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 comes 
Repentance ÚwÚ and with :33 his :33 bad UwU wegs ^w^ fawws x3 into x3 the cinque-pace 
fastew ÚwÚ and >_< fastew, >w< tiww ^.^ he sink x3 into :33 his x3 gwave. 
Leon. Cousin, xDD you >_< appwehend passing uWu shwewdwy. 
Beat. UwU I uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ good >_< eye, >_> uncwe; UwU I ^.^ can >_> see :3 a ^-^ chuwch ^.^ by daywight. 
Leon. uWu The ^-^ wevewwews OwO awe :33 ent'wing, ^-^ bwothew. ^-^ Make ÚwÚ good uWu woom. 
;;w;; [Exit Antonyio.] 

OwO Entew, ^w^ [masked,] ^.^ Don >w< Pedwo, Claudio, Benedick, ÚwÚ and >w< Bawthasaw. 
OwO [With them enter Antonio, awso masked. >w< Aftew them enter] 
^.^ Don John [and Borachio (without uWu masks), who stand :3 aside 
ÚwÚ and wook on x3 duwing x3 the dance]. 

Pedwo. Lady, xDD wiww xDD you UwU wawk :3 a uWu bout with x3 youw >w< fwiend? 
:3 Hewo. ^w^ So xDD you UwU wawk softly ÚwÚ and wook sweetly ÚwÚ and >_> say uWu nyothing, 
UwU I ^w^ am >_> youws fow x3 the :3 wawk; ÚwÚ and especially when UwU I UwU wawk xDD away. 
Pedwo. With ;;w;; me uWu in x3 youw :3 company? 
:3 Hewo. UwU I OwO may >_> say UwU so when UwU I ÚwÚ pwease. 
Pedwo. xDD And when uWu pwease xDD you to >_> say so? 
:3 Hewo. x3 When UwU I ^.^ wike x3 youw favour, fow ^w^ God ;;w;; defend x3 the ^-^ wute >_> shouwd be 
^.^ wike x3 the ^w^ case! 
Pedwo. OwO My ;;w;; visow >_> is Phiwemon's roof; within x3 the ;;w;; house >_> is uWu Juv. 
:3 Hewo. Why >w< then, x3 youw ;;w;; visow >_> shouwd be thatch'd. 
Pedwo. ^w^ Speak wow >_> if xDD you speak love. OwO [Takes her :3 aside.] 
Balth. xDD Weww, UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu did ^.^ wike x3 me. 
:3 Mawg. ^w^ So ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU I fow x3 youw UwU own ^w^ sake, fow UwU I uWu have UwU many :33 iww 
qualities. 
Balth. >_< Which >_> is onye? 
:3 Mawg. UwU I >_> say x3 my >_< pwayews ^.^ awoud. 
Balth. UwU I wuv xDD you x3 the ^-^ bettew. uWu The ÚwÚ heawews OwO may cwy ÚwÚ Amen. 
:3 Mawg. ^w^ God >_< match ;;w;; me with :3 a ÚwÚ good dancer! 
Balth. ÚwÚ Amen. 
:3 Mawg. xDD And ^w^ God >_< keep ^.^ him x3 out of x3 my ^.^ sight when x3 the UwU dance >_> is uWu donye! 
:3 Answew, xDD cwewk. 
Balth. No ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ wowds. uWu The OwO cwewk >_> is answered. 
OwO [Takes her :3 aside.] 
Urs. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you weww enyough. >_> You OwO awe :33 Signyiow Antonio. 
Ant. At :3 a word, UwU I ^w^ am not. 
Urs. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you ^.^ by x3 the UwU waggwing of x3 youw >_> head. 
Ant. ;;w;; To tell xDD you ^-^ twue, UwU I OwO countewfeit ^.^ him. 
Urs. >_> You couwd >_< nyevew UwU do ^.^ him UwU so :3 iww-weww ^w^ unwess xDD you :3 wewe x3 the xDD vewy 
man. >_> Hewe's :33 his xDD dwy uWu hand x3 up ÚwÚ and down. >_> You OwO awe xDD he, xDD you OwO awe OwO he! 
Ant. At :3 a word, UwU I ^w^ am not. 
Urs. ^.^ Come, come, UwU do xDD you think UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow xDD you ^.^ by x3 youw :3 excewwent 
^-^ wit? UwU Can viwtue hide ÚwÚ itsewf? Go ^.^ to, UwU mum xDD you OwO awe he. OwO Gwaces xDD wiww 
^.^ appeaw, ÚwÚ and there's >w< an OwO end. :3 [ ^-^ They :33 step :3 aside.] 
Beat. Will xDD you nyot tell ;;w;; me who told xDD you so? 
Bene. :3 Nyo, xDD you UwU shaww UwU pawdon x3 me. 
Beat. x3 Nyow xDD wiww xDD you nyot tell ;;w;; me who xDD you are? 
Bene. ÚwÚ Nyot now. 
Beat. :33 That UwU I UwU was ^w^ disdainfuw, ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU I xDD had x3 my ÚwÚ good wit x3 out of x3 the 
'Hundred >_< Mewwy xDD Tawes.' xDD Weww, ÚwÚ this UwU was :33 Signyiow Benyedick :3 that uWu said 
:3 so. 
Bene. x3 What's uWu he? 
Beat. UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you ^.^ knyow ^.^ him weww enyough. 
Bene. ÚwÚ Nyot I, ^-^ bewieve x3 me. 
Beat. Did ^.^ he >_< nyevew >_< make xDD you xDD waugh? 
Bene. UwU I pray UwU you, >_> what >_> is uWu he? 
Beat. Why, ^.^ he >_> is x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's ^w^ jestew, :3 a xDD vewy dull xDD foow. Onwy :33 his 
^w^ gift >_> is uWu in >_< devising xDD impossibwe slanders. ^-^ Nyonye >_> but wibewtinyes 
delight uWu in him; ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ commendation >_> is nyot uWu in :33 his ^w^ wit, >_> but uWu in 
:33 his viwwany; fow ^.^ he both x3 pweases ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and ^-^ angews ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and xDD then 
;;w;; they laugh uWu at ^.^ him ÚwÚ and xDD beat ^.^ him. UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe ^.^ he >_> is uWu in x3 the ;;w;; fweet. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he xDD had boawded x3 me. 
Bene. x3 When UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the gentweman, I'll tell ^.^ him >_> what xDD you :3 say. 
Beat. UwU Do, xDD do. ^-^ He'ww >_> but bweak :3 a compawison ow >w< two on OwO me; which 
peradventure, nyot :3 mawked ow nyot >_< waugh'd :3 at, :33 stwikes ^.^ him x3 into 
uWu mewanchowy; ÚwÚ and xDD then there's :3 a partridge OwO wing ^-^ saved, fow x3 the >w< foow 
xDD wiww eat nyo OwO suppew :3 that OwO nyight. 
[Music.] 
We ^w^ must ;;w;; fowwow x3 the :3 weadews. 
Bene. ^w^ In every ÚwÚ good >_> thing. 
Beat. Nyay, >_> if ;;w;; they lead to xDD any UwU iww, UwU I xDD wiww OwO weave them uWu at x3 the :3 nyext 
:33 tuwnying. 
>_> Dance. Exeunt (all >_> but ^.^ Don John, x3 Bowachio, ÚwÚ and uWu Cwaudio]. 
OwO John. Sure x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is :3 amowous on ^.^ Hewo ÚwÚ and hath withdrawn her 
>w< fathew to bweak with ^.^ him about :3 it. uWu The ^.^ wadies ;;w;; fowwow her ÚwÚ and >_> but 
one ;;w;; visow :33 wemains. 
>_> Bowa. xDD And :3 that >_> is ^-^ Cwaudio. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him ^.^ by :33 his beawing. 
OwO John. ^w^ Awe xDD you nyot :33 Signyiow Benedick? 
>_< Cwaud. >_> You ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me well. UwU I ^w^ am he. 
OwO John. Signyiow, xDD you OwO awe xDD vewy nyeaw x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew uWu in :33 his love. >w< He >_> is 
enyamouw'd on :3 Hewo. UwU I pray xDD you uWu dissuade ^.^ him from >w< hew; ^.^ she >_> is nyo 
equal fow :33 his xDD biwth. >_> You OwO may UwU do x3 the ÚwÚ pawt of >w< an xDD honyest x3 man uWu in :3 it. 
>_< Cwaud. How ^.^ knyow xDD you ^.^ he loves OwO hew? 
OwO John. UwU I heard ^.^ him >_< sweaw :33 his OwO affection. 
>_> Bowa. ^w^ So uWu did UwU I :3 too, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >w< swowe ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd marry her tonight. 
OwO John. ^.^ Come, wet >_> us to x3 the banquet. 
:33 Exeunt. uWu Manyet ^-^ Cwaudio. 
>_< Cwaud. ^-^ Thus answew UwU I uWu in xDD nyame of Benyedick 
OwO But hear these :33 iww nyews with x3 the OwO eaws of ^-^ Cwaudio. 
OwO [Unmasks.] 
'Tis xDD cewtain :3 so. uWu The Prince >_> wooes fow himself. 
OwO Fwiendship >_> is ^w^ constant uWu in aww othew ^.^ things 
:3 Save uWu in x3 the ^.^ office ÚwÚ and affairs of love. 
Therefore aww heawts uWu in wuv use uWu theiw UwU own UwU tongues; 
Let every ^w^ eye :33 nyegotiate fow itsewf 
xDD And :33 twust nyo xDD agent; fow beauty >_> is :3 a >w< witch 
^w^ Against x3 whose chawms :33 faith ÚwÚ mewteth x3 into blood. 
This >_> is >w< an :33 accident of hourly uWu pwoof, 
>_< Which UwU I x3 mistwusted not. UwU Faweweww >_< thewefowe :33 Hewo! 

Entew Benyedick x3 [unmasked]. 

Bene. xDD Count Cwaudio? 
>_< Cwaud. Yea, x3 the :33 same. 
Bene. ^.^ Come, xDD wiww xDD you OwO go with me? 
>_< Cwaud. ^.^ Whithew? 
Bene. Even to x3 the :3 nyext :3 wiwwow, about x3 youw UwU own business, ^-^ County. >_> What 
fashion xDD wiww xDD you ^-^ weaw x3 the gawwand UwU of? about x3 youw neck, ^.^ wike >w< an 
>w< usuwew's UwU chain? ow :33 undew x3 youw ^.^ awm, ^.^ wike :3 a x3 wieutenyant's xDD scawf? >_> You 
^w^ must ^-^ weaw >w< it one :3 way, fow x3 the Prince hath ^w^ got x3 youw :3 Hewo. 
>_< Cwaud. UwU I ÚwÚ wish ^.^ him joy of her. 
Bene. Why, ^w^ that's >w< spoken ^.^ wike >w< an xDD honyest ÚwÚ dwoview. ^w^ So ;;w;; they ;;w;; seww 
buwwocks. OwO But uWu did xDD you think x3 the Prince ^.^ wouwd uWu have OwO sewved xDD you 
>_< thus? 
>_< Cwaud. UwU I pray xDD you OwO weave x3 me. 
Bene. Ho! nyow xDD you strike ^.^ wike x3 the ^w^ bwind ;;w;; man! >_< 'Twas x3 the ;;w;; boy :3 that 
OwO stowe x3 youw meat, ÚwÚ and you'ww xDD beat x3 the x3 post. 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; If >w< it xDD wiww nyot be, I'll OwO weave OwO you. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Bene. ÚwÚ Awas, poor ÚwÚ huwt :3 foww! nyow xDD wiww ^.^ he :3 cweep x3 into ^w^ sedges. But, 
:3 that x3 my xDD Wady ^.^ Beatwice >_> shouwd ^.^ knyow uWu me, ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ knyow me! uWu The 
;;w;; Pwince's foow! uWu Ha! >w< it OwO may be UwU I OwO go :33 undew :3 that ;;w;; titwe uWu because UwU I ^w^ am 
x3 mewwy. Yea, >_> but UwU so UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ apt to UwU do mysewf wrong. UwU I ^w^ am nyot UwU so 
>_> weputed. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the UwU base (though bitter) uWu disposition of ^.^ Beatwice 
:3 that puts x3 the wowwd x3 into her ÚwÚ pewson ÚwÚ and UwU so ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me OwO out. xDD Weww, 
I'll be wevenged >_< as UwU I may. 

Entew ^.^ Don Pedwo. 

Pedwo. >_> Nyow, signior, where's x3 the >w< Count? Did xDD you >_> see him? 
Bene. Troth, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have OwO pwayed x3 the ÚwÚ pawt of xDD Wady uWu Fame, UwU I >_> found 
^.^ him OwO hewe >_< as ^-^ mewanchowy >_< as :3 a uWu wodge uWu in :3 a wawwen. UwU I told :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
think UwU I told ^.^ him ^-^ twue, :3 that x3 youw Gwace xDD had ^w^ got x3 the ÚwÚ good xDD wiww of 
ÚwÚ this xDD young UwU wady, ÚwÚ and UwU I ;;w;; off'wed ^.^ him x3 my >_< company to :3 a wiwwow tree, 
xDD eithew to >_< make ^.^ him :3 a garland, >_< as ^.^ being ^-^ fowsaken, ow to bind ^.^ him 
x3 up :3 a ;;w;; wod, >_< as ^.^ being ÚwÚ wowthy to be :3 whipt. 
Pedwo. ;;w;; To be ^-^ whipt? x3 What's :33 his xDD fauwt? 
Bene. uWu The flat twansgwession of :3 a ^.^ schoowboy who, ^.^ being overjoyed 
with finding :3 a bird's nest, >_< shows >w< it :33 his >_< companyion, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he steals 
:3 it. 
Pedwo. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou >_< make :3 a :33 twust :3 a xDD twansgwession? uWu The twansgwession >_> is 
uWu in x3 the stealer. 
Bene. ÚwÚ Yet >w< it xDD had nyot :33 been uWu amiss x3 the wod xDD had :33 been made, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
gawwand :3 too; fow x3 the gawwand ^.^ he ^w^ might uWu have wown himsewf, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
wod ^.^ he ^w^ might uWu have uWu bestowed on UwU you, who, >_< as UwU I OwO take :33 it, uWu have :3 stow'n 
:33 his bird's xDD nyest. 
Pedwo. UwU I xDD wiww >_> but >_< teach them to ^.^ sing ÚwÚ and restore them to x3 the owner. 
Bene. ;;w;; If uWu theiw >_< singing answew x3 youw ^w^ saying, ^.^ by x3 my :33 faith xDD you >_> say 
honestly. 
Pedwo. uWu The xDD Wady ^.^ Beatwice hath :3 a ^-^ quawwew to OwO you. uWu The ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that 
UwU danc'd with her told her ^.^ she >_> is much wrong'd ^.^ by OwO you. 
Bene. >_< O, ^.^ she misus'd ;;w;; me x3 past x3 the >_> enduwance of :3 a block! ^-^ An ÚwÚ oak >_> but 
with one green OwO weaf on >w< it ^.^ wouwd uWu have OwO answewed >w< hew; x3 my xDD vewy ;;w;; visow 
began to assume >w< wife ÚwÚ and scold with her. :33 She told uWu me, nyot 
uWu thinking UwU I xDD had :33 been myself, :3 that UwU I UwU was x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's ^w^ jestew, :3 that 
UwU I UwU was ;;w;; duwwew than :3 a great ;;w;; thaw; :33 huddwing xDD jest ;;w;; upon xDD jest with xDD such 
xDD impossibwe :33 conveyance ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I :33 stood ^.^ wike :3 a x3 man uWu at :3 a >_> mawk, 
with :3 a whole ^.^ awmy >_< shooting uWu at x3 me. :33 She xDD speaks ponyiawds, ÚwÚ and every 
;;w;; wowd OwO stabs. ;;w;; If her UwU bweath :3 wewe >_< as tewwibwe >_< as her tewminyations, 
there :3 wewe nyo UwU wiving nyeaw >w< hew; ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ infect to x3 the UwU Nyowth 
Star. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot marry her ^w^ though ^.^ she :3 wewe :33 endowed with aww :3 that 
Adam xDD had left ^.^ him >w< befowe ^.^ he :3 twansgwess'd. :33 She ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU made 
Hercules uWu have >_> tuwn'd >_> spit, >w< yea, ÚwÚ and uWu have uWu cweft :33 his club to >_< make 
x3 the fire UwU too. ^.^ Come, tawk nyot of her. >_> You UwU shaww find her x3 the 
infewnyaw Ate uWu in ÚwÚ good ^-^ appawew. UwU I ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God x3 some scholar ^.^ wouwd 
x3 conjuwe hew, fow certainly, OwO whiwe ^.^ she >_> is UwU hewe, :3 a x3 man OwO may ^w^ wive >_< as 
:33 quiet uWu in heww >_< as uWu in :3 a sanctuary; ÚwÚ and OwO peopwe x3 sin ;;w;; upon xDD puwpose, 
uWu because ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd OwO go thithew; UwU so ÚwÚ indeed aww uWu disquiet, howwow, 
ÚwÚ and perturbation xDD fowwows her. 

Entew OwO Cwaudio ÚwÚ and xDD Beatwice, Leonato, :3 Hewo. 

Pedwo. x3 Wook, OwO hewe ^.^ she ^w^ comes. 
Bene. Will x3 youw Gwace ÚwÚ command ;;w;; me xDD any OwO sewvice to x3 the OwO wowwd's >w< end? UwU I 
xDD wiww OwO go on x3 the uWu swightest x3 ewwand nyow to x3 the >_> Antipodes :3 that xDD you ^.^ can 
>w< devise to >_> send ;;w;; me xDD on; UwU I xDD wiww :3 fetch xDD you :3 a OwO toothpickew nyow from x3 the 
UwU fuwthest ÚwÚ inch of ;;w;; Asia; ;;w;; bwing xDD you x3 the :33 wength of ^w^ Pwestew John's 
>w< foot; :3 fetch xDD you :3 a >_< haiw x3 off x3 the great x3 Cham's beawd; UwU do xDD you xDD any 
:3 embassage to x3 the >_> Pygmies--wathew than howd >w< thwee ;;w;; wowds' 
conference with ÚwÚ this ^-^ hawpy. >_> You uWu have nyo >w< empwoyment fow me? 
Pedwo. ÚwÚ Nyonye, >_> but to ^.^ desiwe x3 youw ÚwÚ good UwU company. 
Bene. x3 O :33 God, ^w^ siw, hewe's :3 a ^w^ dish UwU I wuv ^w^ nyot! UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO enduwe x3 my xDD Wady 
Tongue. ^-^ [Exit.] 
Pedwo. ^.^ Come, UwU wady, >_< come; xDD you uWu have wost x3 the >_< heawt of :33 Signyiow 
Benedick. 
Beat. >w< Indeed, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ he OwO went >w< it ;;w;; me awhiwe, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu gave ^.^ him use fow 
;;w;; it--a :3 doubwe >_< heawt fow :33 his :3 singwe onye. OwO Mawwy, >_> once >w< befowe ^.^ he ^.^ won 
>w< it of ;;w;; me with UwU fawse ^-^ dice; >_< thewefowe x3 youw Gwace OwO may weww >_> say UwU I 
uWu have wost :3 it. 
Pedwo. >_> You uWu have put ^.^ him ;;w;; down, ;;w;; wady; xDD you uWu have put ^.^ him down. 
Beat. ^w^ So UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ^.^ he >_> shouwd UwU do uWu me, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD west UwU I >_> shouwd ^-^ pwuv 
x3 the mothew of ;;w;; foows. UwU I uWu have ^.^ bwought xDD Count Claudio, ÚwÚ whom xDD you sent 
;;w;; me to seek. 
Pedwo. Why, >w< how now, >w< Count? ÚwÚ Whewefowe OwO awe xDD you sad? 
>_< Cwaud. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 sad, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pedwo. How ^w^ then? >_< sick? 
>_< Cwaud. :33 Nyeithew, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Beat. uWu The xDD Count >_> is :3 nyeithew :3 sad, nor :33 sick, nor >_> mewwy, nor well; >_> but 
ÚwÚ civiw :3 count--civiw >_< as >w< an owange, ÚwÚ and ^-^ something of :3 that jealous 
compwexion. 
Pedwo. xDD I' ^w^ faith, UwU wady, UwU I think x3 youw >_> bwazon to be true; ^w^ though I'll 
be sworn, >_> if ^.^ he be >_> so, :33 his conceit >_> is >w< fawse. Here, Claudio, UwU I 
uWu have :3 wooed uWu in >w< thy :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and >w< faiw ^.^ Hewo >_> is uWu won. UwU I uWu have broke with 
her ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ good xDD wiww ;;w;; obtainyed. Nyame x3 the day of ^.^ mawwiage, 
ÚwÚ and ^w^ God UwU give uWu thee >_< joy! 
Leon. ^.^ Count, OwO take of ;;w;; me x3 my ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and with her x3 my fortunes. ÚwÚ His 
Gwace hath UwU made x3 the ;;w;; match, ÚwÚ and aww xDD gwace >_> say ;;w;; Amen to :3 it! 
Beat. ÚwÚ Speak, ^.^ Count, UwU 'tis x3 youw >_< cue. 
>_< Cwaud. Siwence >_> is x3 the :33 pewfectest >_> hewawd of ^-^ joy. UwU I :3 wewe >_> but xDD wittwe 
^w^ happy >_> if UwU I couwd >_> say >w< how :33 much. Lady, >_< as xDD you OwO awe >_> minye, UwU I ^w^ am x3 youws. 
UwU I UwU give OwO away mysewf fow xDD you ÚwÚ and >_> dote ;;w;; upon x3 the ^-^ exchange. 
Beat. ÚwÚ Speak, :3 cousin; or, >_> if xDD you cannot, ÚwÚ stop :33 his xDD mouth with :3 a :3 kiss 
ÚwÚ and wet nyot ^.^ him speak >_> nyeithew. 
Pedwo. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, UwU wady, xDD you uWu have :3 a ^.^ mewwy ;;w;; heawt. 
Beat. Yea, x3 my wowd; UwU I >_> thank :33 it, poor x3 foow, >w< it keeps on x3 the >_< windy 
x3 side of >w< cawe. OwO My xDD cousin uWu tewws ^.^ him uWu in :33 his ear :3 that ^.^ he >_> is uWu in her 
;;w;; heawt. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD And UwU so ^.^ she :3 doth, :33 cousin. 
Beat. ^-^ Good Wowd, fow xDD awwiance! ^-^ Thus xDD goes every one to x3 the wowwd >_> but 
I, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am uWu sunbuwnt. UwU I OwO may sit uWu in :3 a ^-^ cownyew ÚwÚ and cwy >_< 'Heigh-ho fow 
:3 a husband!' 
Pedwo. xDD Wady xDD Beatwice, UwU I xDD wiww get xDD you onye. 
Beat. UwU I ^.^ wouwd rather uWu have one of x3 youw father's ;;w;; getting. >_< Hath x3 youw 
Gwace ^w^ nye'ew :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ wike you? uWu Youw >w< fathew ^w^ got :3 excewwent 
uWu husbands, >_> if :3 a >_< maid couwd come ^.^ by OwO them. 
Pedwo. Will xDD you uWu have uWu me, x3 wady? 
Beat. :3 Nyo, x3 my uWu wowd, ^w^ unwess UwU I ^w^ might uWu have anyothew fow >w< wowking ^.^ days: 
x3 youw Gwace >_> is ^w^ too x3 costwy to ^-^ weaw every x3 day. OwO But UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw 
Gwace UwU pawdon x3 me. UwU I UwU was bown to speak aww >_< miwth ÚwÚ and nyo :3 mattew. 
Pedwo. uWu Youw :3 siwence UwU most offends uWu me, ÚwÚ and to be ^.^ mewwy best x3 becomes 
UwU you, fow x3 out ^.^ o' ;;w;; question xDD you :3 wewe bown uWu in :3 a ^.^ mewwy hour. 
Beat. :3 Nyo, x3 suwe, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my mothew :3 cwied; >_> but xDD then there UwU was :3 a :33 staw 
danc'd, ÚwÚ and :33 undew :3 that UwU was UwU I born. uWu Cousins, ^w^ God UwU give xDD you >_< joy! 
Leon. ;;w;; Nyiece, xDD wiww xDD you wook to UwU those ^.^ things UwU I told xDD you UwU of? 
Beat. UwU I cwy xDD you mercy, uWu uncwe, ^-^ By x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's pardon. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Pedwo. ^-^ By x3 my troth, :3 a >_< pweasant-spiwited >_> wady. 
Leon. >_> Thewe's xDD wittwe of x3 the ^-^ mewanchowy element uWu in hew, x3 my OwO wowd. :33 She 
>_> is >_< nyevew >_> sad >_> but when ^.^ she OwO sweeps, ÚwÚ and nyot OwO evew >_> sad :33 then; fow UwU I 
uWu have heard x3 my daughter >_> say ^.^ she hath often dweamt of xDD unhappinyess 
ÚwÚ and >_< wak'd herself with laughing. 
Pedwo. :33 She ;;w;; cannyot OwO enduwe to hear tell of :3 a husband. 
Leon. >_< O, ^.^ by nyo UwU means! :33 She :3 mocks aww her >_> wooews x3 out of OwO suit. 
Pedwo. :33 She :3 wewe >w< an :3 excewwent >w< wife fow Benedick. 
Leon. x3 O Wowd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! >_> if ;;w;; they :3 wewe >_> but :3 a >_< week >w< mawwied, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd 
tawk x3 themsewves >_> mad. 
Pedwo. xDD County Claudio, when >_> mean xDD you to OwO go to church? 
>_< Cwaud. >_< To-mowwow, x3 my OwO wowd. ^-^ Time xDD goes on ^.^ cwutches >w< tiww wuv uWu have aww 
:33 his rites. 
Leon. ÚwÚ Nyot >w< tiww ^.^ Monday, x3 my uWu deaw x3 son, which >_> is >w< hence :3 a >w< just 
:3 sevennyight; ÚwÚ and :3 a time ^w^ too bwief :3 too, to uWu have aww ^.^ things answew 
x3 my :33 mind. 
Pedwo. ^.^ Come, xDD you ;;w;; shake x3 the >_> head uWu at UwU so ^-^ wong :3 a ^w^ bweathing; 
>_> but UwU I :33 wawwant ÚwÚ thee, Claudio, x3 the time UwU shaww nyot OwO go :3 duwwy ^.^ by >_> us. 
UwU I xDD wiww uWu in x3 the intewim undewtake one of >_< Hewcuwes' wabouws, which 
;;w;; is, to ;;w;; bwing :33 Signyiow Benyedick ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD Wady ^.^ Beatwice x3 into :3 a 
OwO mountain of :3 affection x3 th' one with x3 th' :3 othew. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu have 
>w< it :3 a ;;w;; match, ÚwÚ and UwU I doubt nyot >_> but to fashion >w< it >_> if xDD you >w< thwee xDD wiww 
>_> but xDD minyistew xDD such ^.^ assistance >_< as UwU I UwU shaww UwU give xDD you diwection. 
Leon. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^w^ am fow UwU you, ^w^ though >w< it >_> cost ;;w;; me ;;w;; ten nights' 
watchings. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD And I, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pedwo. xDD And xDD you :3 too, ^-^ gentwe Hero? 
:3 Hewo. UwU I xDD wiww UwU do xDD any :3 modest office, x3 my uWu wowd, to OwO hewp x3 my xDD cousin to :3 a 
ÚwÚ good husband. 
Pedwo. xDD And Benyedick >_> is nyot x3 the unhopefuwwest :33 husband :3 that UwU I :33 knyow. 
^-^ Thus uWu faw ^.^ can UwU I praise :33 him: ^.^ he >_> is of :3 a x3 nyobwe :33 stwain, of appwuvd 
uWu vawouw, ÚwÚ and >w< confiwm'd x3 honyesty. UwU I xDD wiww >_< teach xDD you >w< how to humouw 
x3 youw OwO cousin, :3 that ^.^ she UwU shaww faww uWu in wuv with Benedick; ÚwÚ and I, 
>_> [to Weonyato ÚwÚ and :3 Cwaudio] with x3 youw >w< two hewps, xDD wiww UwU so x3 pwactise on 
Benyedick :3 that, uWu in ;;w;; despite of :33 his ^w^ quick wit ÚwÚ and :33 his ^.^ queasy 
^w^ stomach, ^.^ he UwU shaww faww uWu in wuv with >_> Beatwice. ;;w;; If ^.^ we ^.^ can UwU do uWu this, 
x3 Cupid >_> is nyo longer >w< an archer; :33 his :3 gwowy UwU shaww be >_> ouws, fow ^.^ we OwO awe 
x3 the >w< onwy wuv-gods. Go uWu in with uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww tell xDD you x3 my ^.^ dwift. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
^-^ A ^-^ haww uWu in Weonyato's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew ;;w;; [Don] John ÚwÚ and Borachio. 

OwO John. ^.^ It >_> is :3 so. uWu The xDD Count OwO Cwaudio UwU shaww marry x3 the daughter of 
:33 Weonyato. 
>_> Bowa. Yea, x3 my wowd; >_> but UwU I ^.^ can OwO cwoss :3 it. 
OwO John. x3 Any uWu baw, xDD any cwoss, xDD any x3 impediment xDD wiww be uWu med'cinyabwe to x3 me. 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick uWu in >_< dispweasuwe to :3 him, ÚwÚ and ^-^ whatsoevew x3 comes :3 athwawt :33 his 
:3 affection ^.^ wanges evenwy with ^w^ minye. How ;;w;; canst xDD thou OwO cwoss ÚwÚ this 
x3 mawwiage? 
>_> Bowa. ÚwÚ Nyot honestly, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but UwU so covertly :3 that nyo >_> dishonyesty 
UwU shaww appeaw uWu in x3 me. 
OwO John. uWu Show ;;w;; me briefly ^.^ how. 
>_> Bowa. UwU I think UwU I told x3 youw lordship, :3 a xDD yeaw since, >w< how much UwU I ^w^ am uWu in 
x3 the ^.^ favouw of Margaret, x3 the uWu waiting :33 gentwewoman to :3 Hewo. 
OwO John. UwU I ^.^ wemembew. 
>_> Bowa. UwU I ^-^ can, uWu at xDD any ;;w;; unseasonyabwe x3 instant of x3 the night, ÚwÚ appoint her 
to wook x3 out uWu at her >_> wady's x3 chambew :3 window. 
OwO John. >_> What >w< wife >_> is uWu in :3 that to be x3 the :33 death of ÚwÚ this x3 mawwiage? 
>_> Bowa. uWu The x3 poison of :3 that wies uWu in xDD you to temper. Go xDD you to x3 the 
Prince x3 youw bwothew; ^-^ spawe nyot to tell ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ he hath ;;w;; wwonged 
:33 his honour uWu in OwO mawwying x3 the uWu wenyownyed OwO Cwaudio >w< (whose estimation UwU do 
xDD you >w< mightiwy howd ^-^ up) to :3 a contaminated ^-^ stawe, xDD such :3 a one >_< as 
:3 Hewo. 
OwO John. >_> What xDD pwoof UwU shaww UwU I >_< make of ^-^ that? 
>_> Bowa. Proof enough to ^w^ misuse x3 the >_< Pwince, to ^-^ vex Claudio, to undo 
Hero, ÚwÚ and OwO kiww :33 Weonyato. Wook xDD you fow xDD any othew UwU issue? 
OwO John. Onwy to ;;w;; despite them UwU I xDD wiww endeavouw x3 anything. 
>_> Bowa. Go :33 then; find ;;w;; me :3 a :3 meet >_> houw to dwaw ^.^ Don ;;w;; Pedwo ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD Count 
OwO Cwaudio ^.^ awonye; tell them :3 that xDD you ^.^ knyow :3 that ^.^ Hewo loves OwO me; intend 
:3 a uWu kind of ^.^ zeaw both to x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and Claudio, :3 as--in wuv of 
x3 youw brother's honyouw, who hath UwU made ÚwÚ this ;;w;; match, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ fwiend's 
weputation, who >_> is OwO thus ^.^ wike to be OwO cozen'd with x3 the ÚwÚ sembwance of 
:3 a maid--that xDD you uWu have discuvw'd OwO thus. ^-^ They xDD wiww uWu scawcewy ^-^ bewieve 
ÚwÚ this ^-^ without trial. Offer them ^w^ instances; which UwU shaww UwU beaw nyo 
less likelihood than to >_> see ;;w;; me uWu at her x3 chambew >_< window, hear ;;w;; me 
caww Margaret Hero, hear Margaret term ;;w;; me ^w^ Cwaudio; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing them 
to >_> see ÚwÚ this x3 the xDD vewy >w< nyight >w< befowe x3 the :3 intended ÚwÚ wedding (fow uWu in 
x3 the UwU meantime UwU I xDD wiww UwU so fashion x3 the ;;w;; mattew :3 that ^.^ Hewo UwU shaww be 
^w^ absent) ÚwÚ and there UwU shaww appeaw xDD such ÚwÚ seeming uWu twuth of Hero's 
ÚwÚ diswoyawty :3 that ^.^ jeawousy UwU shaww be ^w^ caww'd assurance ÚwÚ and aww x3 the 
uWu pwepawation ^-^ uvwthwown. 
OwO John. OwO Gwow ÚwÚ this to >_> what advewse x3 issue >w< it ^-^ can, UwU I xDD wiww put >w< it uWu in 
^.^ pwactice. ^w^ Be x3 cunnying uWu in x3 the >w< wowking uWu this, ÚwÚ and >w< thy ^.^ fee >_> is :3 a 
thousand xDD ducats. 
>_> Bowa. ^w^ Be xDD you ^w^ constant uWu in x3 the uWu accusation, ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 cunnying UwU shaww nyot 
^-^ shame x3 me. 
OwO John. UwU I xDD wiww presently OwO go :3 weawn uWu theiw day of marriage. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
Weonyato's ^-^ owchawd. 

Entew Benyedick >_< awonye. 

Bene. Boy! 

[Entew OwO Boy.] 

UwU Boy. Signyiow? 
Bene. ^w^ In x3 my x3 chambew window wies :3 a uWu book. Bring >w< it ÚwÚ hithew to ;;w;; me uWu in 
x3 the ^-^ owchawd. 
UwU Boy. UwU I ^w^ am OwO hewe already, sir. 
Bene. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 that, >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have uWu thee >w< hence ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ;;w;; again. 
xDD (Exit UwU Boy.) UwU I UwU do much wonder :3 that one ^w^ man, ^-^ seeing >w< how much 
anyothew x3 man >_> is :3 a >w< foow when ^.^ he ÚwÚ dedicates :33 his behaviours to xDD wuv, 
:33 wiww, ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ he hath >_< waugh'd uWu at xDD such shallow follies uWu in ^w^ othews, 
:33 become x3 the :33 awgument of :33 his UwU own ^w^ scown ^.^ by falling uWu in love; ÚwÚ and xDD such 
:3 a x3 man >_> is ^-^ Cwaudio. UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ knyown when there UwU was nyo uWu music with ^.^ him 
>_> but x3 the drum ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 fife; ÚwÚ and nyow xDD had ^.^ he rather hear x3 the tabow 
ÚwÚ and x3 the pipe. UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ knyown when ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have wawk'd ;;w;; ten miwe 
afoot to >_> see :3 a ÚwÚ good awmouw; ÚwÚ and nyow xDD wiww ^.^ he >_< wie ;;w;; ten :33 nyights awake 
>w< cawving x3 the fashion of :3 a x3 nyew doublet. >w< He UwU was UwU wont to speak uWu pwain 
ÚwÚ and to x3 the xDD puwpose, ^.^ wike >w< an xDD honyest x3 man ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU sowdiew; ÚwÚ and nyow >_> is 
^.^ he >_> tuwn'd UwU owthogwaphy; :33 his wowds OwO awe :3 a xDD vewy OwO fantasticaw banquet-- 
>w< just UwU so UwU many ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ dishes. ^-^ May UwU I be UwU so ^.^ convewted ÚwÚ and >_> see with 
these uWu eyes? UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell; UwU I think not. UwU I xDD wiww nyot be sworn >_> but 
wuv OwO may UwU twansfowm ;;w;; me to >w< an UwU oystew; >_> but I'll OwO take x3 my ^-^ oath on :33 it, 
>w< tiww ^.^ he uWu have UwU made >w< an oystew of ;;w;; me ^.^ he UwU shaww >_< nyevew >_< make ;;w;; me xDD such :3 a 
xDD foow. x3 Onye OwO woman >_> is faiw, yet UwU I ^w^ am well; anyothew >_> is >_< wise, yet UwU I ^w^ am 
well; anyothew virtuous, yet UwU I ^w^ am well; >_> but >w< tiww aww uWu gwaces be uWu in 
one ^w^ woman, one OwO woman UwU shaww nyot come uWu in x3 my grace. Wich ^.^ she UwU shaww 
be, ^w^ that's ^-^ cewtain; >_< wise, ow I'll x3 nyonye; virtuous, ow I'll >_< nyevew 
^w^ cheapen >w< hew; faiw, ow I'll >_< nyevew wook on >w< hew; OwO miwd, ow come nyot 
nyeaw OwO me; noble, ow nyot UwU I fow >w< an >_> angew; of ÚwÚ good discouwse, >w< an 
:3 excewwent :33 musician, ÚwÚ and her >_< haiw UwU shaww be of >_> what colour >w< it 
uWu pwease >_< God. >w< Ha, x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Monsieuw :33 Wuv! UwU I xDD wiww hide ;;w;; me uWu in 
x3 the arbour. >_< [Hides.] 

Entew ^.^ Don >w< Pedwo, Leonato, ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Music x3 [within]. 

Pedwo. ^.^ Come, UwU shaww ^.^ we hear ÚwÚ this music? 
>_< Cwaud. Yea, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. How still x3 the x3 evenying ;;w;; is, 
;;w;; As UwU hush'd on OwO puwpose to xDD gwace hawmony! 
Pedwo. xDD See xDD you :3 whewe Benyedick hath >_< hid :33 himsewf? 
>_< Cwaud. >_< O, xDD vewy weww, x3 my OwO wowd. uWu The uWu music ended, 
^-^ We'ww ;;w;; fit x3 the ^-^ kid-fox with :3 a pennywowth. 

Entew :3 Bawthasaw with :3 Music. 

Pedwo. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ Bawthasaw, we'll hear :3 that ÚwÚ song ;;w;; again. 
Balth. >_< O, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ tax nyot UwU so :33 bad :3 a uWu voice 
;;w;; To ^-^ swandew uWu music xDD any ^.^ mowe than OwO once. 
Pedwo. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the >_> witnyess still of ÚwÚ excewwency 
;;w;; To put :3 a ;;w;; stwange OwO face on :33 his UwU own perfection. 
UwU I pray uWu thee ^w^ sing, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me ^.^ woo nyo more. 
Balth. >_< Because xDD you tawk of ^.^ wooing, UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ sing, 
Since UwU many :3 a wooew xDD doth ^.^ commence :33 his >_> suit 
;;w;; To her ^.^ he ^w^ thinks nyot wowthy, yet ^.^ he xDD wooes, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD wiww ^.^ he >_< sweaw ^.^ he :3 wuvs. 
Pedwo. Nyay, pray uWu thee >_< come; 
:33 Ow >_> if xDD thou wiwt howd longer :33 awgument, 
Do >w< it uWu in >w< nyotes. 
Balth. xDD Nyote ÚwÚ this >w< befowe x3 my uWu nyotes: 
>_> Thewe's nyot :3 a ^-^ nyote of >_< minye ^w^ that's ^.^ wowth x3 the noting. 
Pedwo. Why, these OwO awe xDD vewy ^-^ cwotchets :3 that ^.^ he speaks! 
xDD Nyote nyotes, xDD fowsooth, ÚwÚ and nothing! [Music.] 
Bene. >w< [aside] Now divine air! Now >_> is :33 his :3 souw ^.^ wavish'd! Is >w< it nyot 
;;w;; stwange :3 that sheep's :33 guts >_> shouwd UwU hawe >w< souws x3 out of men's :3 bodies? 
xDD Weww, :3 a >_> hown fow x3 my monyey, when aww's ^-^ donye. 
>_< [Bawthasaw >_< sings.] 
uWu The ^w^ Song. 

Sigh nyo >_> mowe, x3 wadies, x3 sigh nyo uWu mowe! 
OwO Men :3 wewe x3 deceivews ever, 
x3 Onye :33 foot uWu in :33 sea, ÚwÚ and one on shore; 
;;w;; To one ^.^ thing ^w^ constant ^-^ nyevew. 
UwU Then x3 sigh nyot >_> so, 
OwO But wet them x3 go, 
xDD And be xDD you blithe ÚwÚ and bonny, 
>w< Convewting aww x3 youw sounds of woe 
^.^ Into ;;w;; Hey nyonny, OwO nyonny. 

:33 Sing nyo ^.^ mowe x3 ditties, ^.^ sing nyo :3 moe, 
Of uWu dumps UwU so dull ÚwÚ and xDD heavy! 
uWu The OwO fwaud of ;;w;; men UwU was OwO evew >_> so, 
Since ^-^ summew xDD fiwst UwU was leavy. 
UwU Then x3 sigh nyot >_> so, &c. 

Pedwo. ^-^ By x3 my troth, :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 song. 
Balth. xDD And >w< an :33 iww singer, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pedwo. >w< Ha, no, no, >_< faith! ^.^ Thou OwO sing'st weww enough fow :3 a >_> shift. 
Bene. >w< [aside] ^-^ An ^.^ he xDD had :33 been :3 a dog :3 that >_> shouwd uWu have uWu howw'd thus, 
;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 hang'd him; ÚwÚ and UwU I pray ^w^ God :33 his :33 bad uWu voice :3 bode nyo 
>w< mischief. UwU I xDD had >_< as ^w^ wive uWu have heard x3 the >w< nyight >w< waven, come >_> what 
pwague couwd uWu have come ÚwÚ aftew :3 it. 
Pedwo. Yea, marry. uWu Dost xDD thou heaw, Bawthasaw? UwU I pray uWu thee get >_> us 
x3 some :3 excewwent >_> music; fow to-mowwow >w< nyight ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd uWu have >w< it uWu at x3 the 
xDD Wady Hero's x3 chambew :3 window. 
Balth. uWu The best UwU I ^-^ can, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pedwo. Do :3 so. uWu Faweweww. 
uWu Exit :3 Bawthasaw ^w^ [with >w< Musicians]. 
:3 Come hithew, :33 Weonyato. >_> What UwU was >w< it xDD you told ;;w;; me of >w< to-day? :3 that 
x3 youw uWu nyiece ^.^ Beatwice UwU was uWu in wuv with :33 Signyiow Benedick? 
>_< Cwaud. >_< O, ay!-[Aside to Pedwo] >_< Stawk ;;w;; on, x3 stawk xDD on; x3 the fowl >w< sits. 
OwO --I uWu did >_< nyevew think :3 that uWu wady ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD wuvd xDD any man. 
Leon. :3 Nyo, nor UwU I UwU nyeithew; >_> but UwU most ;;w;; wondewfuw :3 that ^.^ she >_> shouwd UwU so >_> dote 
on :33 Signyiow Benedick, ÚwÚ whom ^.^ she hath uWu in aww :33 outwawd behaviours 
^w^ seem'd OwO evew to uWu abhow. 
Bene. >w< [aside] ^-^ Is't possible? x3 Sits x3 the wind uWu in :3 that >_< cownyew? 
Leon. ^-^ By x3 my troth, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell >_> what to think of :33 it, >_> but 
:3 that ^.^ she loves ^.^ him with >w< an enwaged OwO affection. ^.^ It >_> is x3 past x3 the 
:3 infinyite of thought. 
Pedwo. ^-^ May be ^.^ she xDD doth >_> but xDD countewfeit. 
>_< Cwaud. Faith, ^.^ wike enyough. 
Leon. x3 O :33 God, counterfeit? >_> Thewe UwU was >_< nyevew OwO countewfeit of passion 
^-^ came UwU so nyeaw x3 the >w< wife of passion >_< as ^.^ she discovers :3 it. 
Pedwo. Why, >_> what UwU effects of passion >_< shows >_< she? 
>_< Cwaud. >w< [aside] :3 Bait x3 the ÚwÚ hook OwO weww! This :33 fish xDD wiww UwU bite. 
Leon. >_> What ^-^ effects, x3 my xDD wowd? :33 She xDD wiww sit ^.^ you--you heard x3 my 
daughter tell xDD you ^.^ how. 
>_< Cwaud. :33 She uWu did indeed. 
Pedwo. How, how, UwU I pray you? >_> You amaze x3 me. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD thought her 
^w^ spiwit xDD had :33 been invincibwe OwO against aww xDD assauwts of OwO affection. 
Leon. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have sworn >w< it :33 had, x3 my wowd--especiawwy OwO against 
Benedick. 
Bene. >w< [aside] UwU I >_> shouwd think ÚwÚ this :3 a guww >_> but :3 that x3 the white-bearded 
fewwow xDD speaks :3 it. Knavery cannot, x3 suwe, hide >_< himsewf uWu in xDD such 
^w^ wevewence. 
>_< Cwaud. >w< [aside] >w< He hath >_> ta'en x3 th' ^w^ infection. :33 Howd >w< it :33 up. 
Pedwo. >_< Hath ^.^ she UwU made her :3 affection ÚwÚ knyown to Benedick? 
Leon. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ sweaws ^.^ she >_< nyevew :33 wiww. >w< That's her ^.^ towment. 
>_< Cwaud. 'Tis true indeed. ^w^ So x3 youw daughter says. ÚwÚ 'Shaww x3 I,' ;;w;; says 
uWu she, x3 'that uWu have UwU so ;;w;; oft encount'wed ^.^ him with ^.^ scown, >w< wwite to ^.^ him 
:3 that UwU I wuv >_> him?'" 
Leon. This ;;w;; says ^.^ she nyow when ^.^ she >_> is beginning to >w< wwite to him; fow 
^.^ she'ww be x3 up ÚwÚ twenty times :3 a night, ÚwÚ and there xDD wiww ^.^ she sit uWu in her 
^-^ smock >w< tiww ^.^ she uWu have ^-^ wwit :3 a >w< sheet of ^.^ papew. OwO My daughter uWu tewws >_> us 
all. 
>_< Cwaud. Now xDD you tawk of :3 a >w< sheet of paper, UwU I remember :3 a OwO pwetty xDD jest 
x3 youw daughter told >_> us uWu of. 
Leon. >_< O, when ^.^ she xDD had ^-^ wwit :33 it, ÚwÚ and UwU was weading >w< it UwU uvw, ^.^ she >_> found 
'Benyedick' ÚwÚ and 'Beatwice' ^-^ between x3 the :33 sheet? 
>_< Cwaud. >_< That. 
Leon. >_< O, ^.^ she >w< towe x3 the >_> wettew x3 into :3 a thousand ^-^ hawfpence, UwU waiw'd uWu at 
herself :3 that ^.^ she >_> shouwd be UwU so xDD immodest to >w< wwite to one :3 that ^.^ she 
UwU knyew ^.^ wouwd fwout her. ÚwÚ 'I UwU measuwe >_> him,' ;;w;; says uWu she, :33 'by x3 my UwU own 
uWu spiwit; fow UwU I >_> shouwd fwout ^.^ him >_> if ^.^ he ^-^ wwit to x3 me. Yea, ^w^ though UwU I 
wuv :3 him, UwU I ;;w;; shouwd.' 
>_< Cwaud. UwU Then down ;;w;; upon her knees ^.^ she >_< fawws, uWu weeps, UwU sobs, ÚwÚ beats her 
uWu heawt, tears her hair, prays, curses--'O x3 sweet >_< Benyedick! ^w^ God UwU give 
;;w;; me >_> patience!' 
Leon. :33 She xDD doth :33 indeed; x3 my daughter ;;w;; says :3 so. xDD And x3 the >w< ecstasy hath UwU so 
much ^w^ uvwbownye her :3 that x3 my daughter >_> is ÚwÚ sometime >_< afeawd ^.^ she xDD wiww 
UwU do :3 a despewate outrage to hewsewf. ^.^ It >_> is xDD vewy true. 
Pedwo. ^.^ It :3 wewe ÚwÚ good :3 that Benyedick UwU knyew of >w< it ^.^ by x3 some ÚwÚ othew, >_> if ^.^ she 
xDD wiww nyot OwO discuvw :3 it. 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; To >_> what >w< end? >w< He ^.^ wouwd >_< make >_> but :3 a spowt of >w< it ÚwÚ and x3 towment x3 the 
poor uWu wady x3 wowse. 
Pedwo. ^-^ An ^.^ he should, >w< it :3 wewe >w< an :3 awms to ^w^ hang x3 him! >_> She's >w< an 
:3 excewwent x3 sweet UwU wady, ÚwÚ and (out of aww suspicion) ^.^ she >_> is ÚwÚ viwtuous. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD And ^.^ she >_> is :33 exceeding uWu wise. 
Pedwo. ^w^ In evewything >_> but uWu in >w< woving Benedick. 
Leon. >_< O, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ wisdom ÚwÚ and :3 bwood combating uWu in UwU so xDD tendew :3 a ;;w;; body, 
^.^ we uWu have ;;w;; ten proofs to one :3 that :3 bwood hath x3 the ^.^ victowy. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy 
fow hew, >_< as UwU I uWu have >w< just >_< cause, ^.^ being her :33 uncwe ÚwÚ and her :33 guawdian. 
Pedwo. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she xDD had uWu bestowed ÚwÚ this ^.^ dotage on x3 me. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have 
OwO daff'd aww othew UwU wespects ÚwÚ and UwU made her half :3 mysewf. UwU I pray xDD you 
tell Benyedick of >w< it ÚwÚ and hear >_> what xDD 'a xDD wiww :3 say. 
Leon. ^.^ Wewe >w< it UwU good, think you? 
>_< Cwaud. ^.^ Hewo ^w^ thinks x3 suwewy ^.^ she xDD wiww :3 die; fow ^.^ she ;;w;; says ^.^ she xDD wiww ^-^ die 
>_> if ^.^ he wuv her >_> nyot, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she xDD wiww ^-^ die ere ^.^ she >_< make her wuv ^-^ knyown, 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ she xDD wiww >_> die, >_> if ^.^ he ^.^ woo hew, rather than ^.^ she xDD wiww uWu bate one 
UwU bweath of her accustomed ;;w;; cwossnyess. 
Pedwo. :33 She xDD doth well. ;;w;; If ^.^ she >_> shouwd >_< make xDD tendew of her xDD wuv, UwU 'tis 
xDD vewy OwO possibwe he'ww ^w^ scown uWu it; fow x3 the x3 man >_< (as xDD you ^.^ knyow aww) hath 
:3 a OwO contemptibwe >w< spiwit. 
>_< Cwaud. >w< He >_> is :3 a xDD vewy OwO pwopew man. 
Pedwo. >w< He hath ÚwÚ indeed :3 a ÚwÚ good :33 outwawd ÚwÚ happinyess. 
>_< Cwaud. ^.^ Befowe uWu God! ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 my UwU mind, xDD vewy uWu wise. 
Pedwo. >w< He xDD doth ÚwÚ indeed x3 show x3 some OwO spawks :3 that OwO awe ^.^ wike >_< wit. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD And UwU I OwO take ^.^ him to be ^w^ vawiant. 
Pedwo. ;;w;; As Hectow, UwU I :33 assuwe uWu you; ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the ^.^ manyaging of quarrels xDD you 
OwO may >_> say ^.^ he >_> is >_< wise, fow xDD eithew ^.^ he x3 avoids them with great 
discretion, ow undewtakes them with :3 a UwU most ^.^ Chwistianwike ;;w;; feaw. 
Leon. ;;w;; If ^.^ he UwU do feaw :33 God, xDD 'a ^w^ must x3 nyecessawiwy >_< keep peace. ;;w;; If ^.^ he 
bweak x3 the ÚwÚ peace, ^.^ he ought to enter x3 into :3 a ^-^ quawwew with feaw ÚwÚ and 
twembwing. 
Pedwo. xDD And UwU so xDD wiww ^.^ he do; fow x3 the x3 man xDD doth feaw :33 God, howsoever >w< it 
;;w;; seems nyot uWu in ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 some large jests ^.^ he xDD wiww >_> make. xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ am 
sowwy fow x3 youw niece. Shall ^.^ we OwO go >_> seek Benyedick ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him of 
her love? 
>_< Cwaud. xDD Nyevew tell :3 him, x3 my OwO wowd. Let her ^-^ weaw >w< it x3 out with ÚwÚ good 
:3 counsew. 
Leon. Nyay, ^w^ that's impossibwe; ^.^ she OwO may ^-^ weaw her >_< heawt x3 out fiwst. 
Pedwo. xDD Weww, ^.^ we xDD wiww hear further of >w< it ^.^ by x3 youw >w< daughtew. Let >w< it 
:3 coow x3 the >_> whiwe. UwU I wuv Benyedick weww, ÚwÚ and UwU I couwd ÚwÚ wish ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd 
modestwy >_> examinye >_< himsewf to >_> see >w< how much ^.^ he >_> is >_< unwowthy UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a 
>_> wady. 
Leon. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD wiww xDD you xDD .wawk? >_< Dinnyew >_> is weady. 
^w^ [They UwU wawk UwU away.] 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> dote on her ;;w;; upon uWu this, UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew :33 twust x3 my 
;;w;; expectation. 
Pedwo. Let there be x3 the same ^w^ nyet ;;w;; spwead fow hew, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^w^ must x3 youw 
daughter ÚwÚ and her gentlewomen :33 cawwy. uWu The spowt xDD wiww be, when ;;w;; they 
howd one >w< an opinyion of another's dotage, ÚwÚ and nyo xDD such :3 mattew. 
>w< That's x3 the scene :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd see, which xDD wiww be mewewy :3 a UwU dumb 
show. Let >_> us >_> send her to caww ^.^ him uWu in to uWu dinnyew. 
Exeunt :3 [Don >w< Pedwo, Claudio, ÚwÚ and uWu Weonyato]. 

OwO [Benyedick ^w^ advances from x3 the ÚwÚ awbouw.] 

Bene. This ^.^ can be nyo ^.^ twick. uWu The conference UwU was sadwy bownye; ;;w;; they 
uWu have x3 the uWu twuth of ÚwÚ this from :33 Hewo; ;;w;; they xDD seem to pity x3 the >_> wady. 
^.^ It ;;w;; seems her affections uWu have uWu theiw full ;;w;; bent. Wuv me? Why, >w< it 
^w^ must be UwU wequited. UwU I hear >w< how UwU I ^w^ am UwU censuw'd. ^-^ They >_> say UwU I xDD wiww UwU beaw 
mysewf x3 pwoudwy >_> if UwU I >_> pewceive x3 the wuv come from her. ^-^ They >_> say ^w^ too 
:3 that ^.^ she xDD wiww rather ^-^ die than UwU give xDD any xDD sign of OwO affection. UwU I uWu did 
>_< nyevew think to marry. UwU I ^w^ must nyot xDD seem :3 pwoud. Happy OwO awe ;;w;; they :3 that 
hear uWu theiw detractions ÚwÚ and ^.^ can put them to >_> mending. ^-^ They >_> say x3 the 
uWu wady >_> is >_< faiw--'tis :3 a truth, UwU I ^.^ can UwU beaw them ^w^ witnyess; ÚwÚ and virtuous 
^-^ --'tis >_> so, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot wepwuv uWu it; ÚwÚ and >_< wise, >_> but fow >w< woving >w< me--by 
x3 my troth, >w< it >_> is nyo >w< addition to her ^w^ wit, nor nyo great :33 awgument of 
her >_> fowwy, fow UwU I xDD wiww be >w< howwibwy uWu in wuv with her. UwU I OwO may chance 
uWu have x3 some >w< odd ^.^ quiwks ÚwÚ and ^-^ wemnyants of wit xDD bwoken on ;;w;; me uWu because UwU I 
uWu have uWu waiwed UwU so ^-^ wong OwO against marriage. OwO But xDD doth nyot x3 the xDD appetite 
>_> awtews? ^-^ A x3 man loves x3 the :3 meat uWu in :33 his :33 youth :3 that ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot OwO enduwe 
uWu in :33 his age. Shall uWu quips ÚwÚ and UwU sentences ÚwÚ and these paper x3 buwwets of 
x3 the :3 bwain OwO awe :3 a x3 man from x3 the caweew of :33 his humouw? :3 Nyo, x3 the wowwd 
^w^ must be peopwed. x3 When UwU I uWu said UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^-^ die :3 a ^.^ bachewow, UwU I uWu did nyot 
think UwU I >_> shouwd ^w^ wive >w< tiww UwU I :3 wewe mawwied. 

Entew >_> Beatwice. 

:3 Hewe x3 comes >_> Beatwice. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this ^-^ day, ^w^ she's :3 a >w< faiw :33 wady! UwU I UwU do ^w^ spy 
x3 some >w< mawks of wuv uWu in her. 
Beat. ^w^ Against x3 my xDD wiww UwU I ^w^ am sent to bid >_> You come uWu in to uWu dinnyew. 
Bene. Faiw xDD Beatwice, UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw OwO pains. 
Beat. UwU I >_> took nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ pains fow UwU those thanks than xDD you OwO take ^w^ pains to 
>_> thank x3 me. ;;w;; If >w< it xDD had :33 been painfuw, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have x3 come. 
Bene. >_> You OwO take :3 pweasuwe xDD then uWu in x3 the :3 message? 
Beat. Yea, >w< just UwU so much >_< as xDD you OwO may OwO take ;;w;; upon :3 a >_> knyives UwU point, ÚwÚ and 
>_< choke :3 a xDD daw uWu withaw. >_> You uWu have nyo ^w^ stomach, ;;w;; signyiow. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
Bene. uWu Ha! 'Against x3 my xDD wiww UwU I ^w^ am sent to bid xDD you come uWu in to :33 dinnyew.' 
>_> Thewe's :3 a :3 doubwe meaning uWu in x3 that. ÚwÚ 'I >_> took nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ pains fow UwU those 
thanks than xDD you >_> took ^w^ pains to >_> thank xDD me.' >w< That's >_< as much >_< as to 
say, x3 'Any ^w^ pains :3 that UwU I OwO take fow xDD you >_> is >_< as ^w^ easy >_< as >_> thanks.' ;;w;; If UwU I 
UwU do nyot OwO take pity of hew, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a villain; >_> if UwU I UwU do nyot wuv hew, UwU I 
^w^ am :3 a ^w^ Jew. UwU I xDD wiww OwO go get her x3 pictuwe. ÚwÚ Exit. 




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^.^ ACT >_> III. Scene ^.^ I. 
Weonyato's ^-^ owchawd. 

Entew ^.^ Hewo ÚwÚ and >w< two OwO Gentwewomen, Margaret ÚwÚ and Ursula. 

:3 Hewo. ^-^ Good Margaret, >w< wun uWu thee to x3 the ;;w;; pawwouw. 
>_> Thewe shalt xDD thou find x3 my xDD cousin ^.^ Beatwice 
ÚwÚ Pwoposing with x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and ^-^ Cwaudio. 
ÚwÚ Whispew her ear ÚwÚ and tell hew, UwU I ÚwÚ and Ursley 
>_< Wawk uWu in x3 the >_> owchawd, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw whole uWu discouwse 
Is aww of her. x3 Say :3 that xDD thou uvwheawd'st us; 
xDD And bid her ^.^ steaw x3 into x3 the UwU pweached ÚwÚ bowew, 
Whewe ^w^ honyeysuckwes, >w< wipenyed ^.^ by x3 the sun, 
x3 Fowbid x3 the sun to enter--like xDD favouwites, 
Made OwO pwoud ^.^ by >_< pwinces, :3 that advance uWu theiw >_< pwide 
^w^ Against :3 that powew :3 that bwed :3 it. >_> Thewe xDD wiww ^.^ she hide her 
;;w;; To xDD wisten UwU ouw propose. This >_> is >w< thy ^w^ office. 
ÚwÚ Beaw uWu thee weww uWu in >w< it ÚwÚ and OwO weave >_> us >_< awonye. 
:3 Mawg. I'll >_< make her come, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, presently. ^-^ [Exit.] 
:3 Hewo. >_> Nyow, Uwsuwa, when ^.^ Beatwice xDD doth come, 
;;w;; As ^.^ we UwU do trace ÚwÚ this ^-^ awwey x3 up ÚwÚ and ;;w;; down, 
Our tawk ^w^ must >w< onwy be of Benedick. 
x3 When UwU I UwU do xDD nyame :3 him, wet >w< it be >w< thy ÚwÚ pawt 
;;w;; To praise ^.^ him ^.^ mowe than OwO evew x3 man uWu did x3 mewit. 
OwO My tawk to uWu thee ^w^ must be >w< how Benyedick 
Is >w< sick uWu in wuv with >_> Beatwice. Of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; mattew 
Is xDD wittwe uWu Cupid's ^-^ cwafty arrow made, 
:33 That >w< onwy wounds ^.^ by :33 heawsay. 

[Entew ^-^ Beatwice.] 

Now begin; 
For wook :3 whewe ^.^ Beatwice ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ wapwing wuns 
:33 Cwose ^.^ by x3 the ground, to hear UwU ouw conference. 

[Beatrice OwO hides uWu in x3 the awbouw]. 

Urs. uWu The pleasant'st UwU angwing >_> is to >_> see x3 the :33 fish 
Cut with her golden oars x3 the :33 siwvew stweam 
xDD And ^w^ gweediwy devour x3 the treacherous ;;w;; bait. 
^w^ So :3 angwe ^.^ we fow xDD Beatwice, who even nyow 
Is couched uWu in x3 the :33 woodbinye uWu cuvwtuwe. 
Fear xDD you nyot x3 my ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the ^-^ diawogue. 
:3 Hewo. UwU Then OwO go ^.^ we nyeaw hew, :3 that her ear wose >_< nyothing 
Of x3 the UwU fawse x3 sweet x3 bait :3 that ^.^ we uWu way fow :3 it. 
^w^ [They appwoach x3 the ÚwÚ awbouw.] 
:3 Nyo, OwO twuwy, Uwsuwa, ^.^ she >_> is ^w^ too ^.^ disdainfuw. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow her ;;w;; spiwits OwO awe >_< as ^-^ coy ÚwÚ and >w< wiwd 
;;w;; As UwU haggawds of x3 the ^-^ wock. 
Urs. OwO But OwO awe xDD you >_< suwe 
:33 That Benyedick loves ^.^ Beatwice UwU so >_> entiwewy? 
:3 Hewo. ^w^ So ;;w;; says x3 the >_< Pwince, ÚwÚ and x3 my nyew-twothed OwO wowd. 
Urs. xDD And uWu did ;;w;; they bid xDD you tell her of :33 it, :33 madam? 
:3 Hewo. ^-^ They uWu did entweat ;;w;; me to >w< acquaint her of uWu it; 
OwO But UwU I >w< pewsuaded ÚwÚ them, >_> if ;;w;; they :3 wov'd Benedick, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ wish ^.^ him wrestle with :3 affection 
xDD And >_< nyevew to wet ^.^ Beatwice ^.^ knyow of :3 it. 
Urs. Why uWu did xDD you so? ^-^ Doth nyot x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman 
Deserve >_< as >_> fuww, >_< as ;;w;; fowtunyate :3 a x3 bed 
;;w;; As OwO evew ^.^ Beatwice UwU shaww UwU couch >_> upon? 
:3 Hewo. x3 O god of love! UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ he xDD doth OwO desewve 
;;w;; As much >_< as OwO may be yiewded to :3 a ^w^ man: 
OwO But ÚwÚ Nyatuwe >_< nyevew >w< fwam'd :3 a xDD woman's >_< heawt 
Of >_> pwoudew ^w^ stuff than :3 that of >_> Beatwice. 
:3 Disdain ÚwÚ and ^w^ scown uWu wide :33 spawkwing uWu in her ^w^ eyes, 
xDD Mispwizing >_> what ;;w;; they wook xDD on; ÚwÚ and her wit 
Vawues itsewf UwU so ;;w;; highwy :3 that to her 
All ;;w;; mattew >_> ewse ;;w;; seems ^.^ weak. :33 She ;;w;; cannyot xDD wuv, 
x3 Nyow OwO take nyo xDD shape nor UwU pwoject of :33 affection, 
:33 She >_> is UwU so ^w^ sewf-endeawed. 
Urs. Sure UwU I think so; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe :3 cewtainwy >w< it :3 wewe nyot ÚwÚ good 
:33 She UwU knyew :33 his xDD wuv, xDD west ^.^ she'ww >_< make spowt uWu at :3 it. 
:3 Hewo. Why, xDD you speak truth. UwU I >_< nyevew yet saw ^w^ man, 
How >_< wise, >w< how noble, >_> young, >w< how ÚwÚ wawewy ^w^ featuw'd, 
OwO But ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd speww ^.^ him backwawd. ;;w;; If fair-fac'd, 
:33 She ^.^ wouwd >_< sweaw x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman >_> shouwd be her x3 sistew; 
;;w;; If black, >w< why, OwO Nyatuwe, :3 dwawing of >w< an ;;w;; antic, 
Made :3 a fouw bwot; >_> if uWu taww, :3 a lance ill-headed; 
;;w;; If low, >w< an OwO agate xDD vewy uWu viwewy cut; 
;;w;; If ^-^ speaking, >w< why, :3 a vanye >_> bwown with aww winds; 
;;w;; If siwent, >w< why, :3 a >_< bwock ^-^ muvd with none. 
^w^ So tuwns ^.^ she every x3 man x3 the wrong x3 side x3 out 
xDD And >_< nyevew ;;w;; gives to uWu twuth ÚwÚ and viwtue :3 that 
>_< Which simpwenyess ÚwÚ and merit ^w^ puwchaseth. 
Urs. Sure, x3 suwe, xDD such >_< cawping >_> is nyot commendabwe. 
:3 Hewo. :3 Nyo, nyot to be UwU so :3 odd, ÚwÚ and from aww :33 fashions, 
;;w;; As ^.^ Beatwice ;;w;; is, ;;w;; cannyot be commendabwe. 
OwO But who dawe tell her so? ;;w;; If UwU I >_> shouwd :3 speak, 
:33 She ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ mock ;;w;; me x3 into air; >_< O, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd laugh ;;w;; me 
UwU Out of myself, x3 pwess ;;w;; me to :33 death with wit! 
Therefore wet Benedick, ^.^ wike cover'd ^w^ fiwe, 
Consume OwO away uWu in xDD sighs, uWu waste inwardly. 
^.^ It :3 wewe :3 a xDD bettew :33 death than ^-^ die with OwO mocks, 
>_< Which >_> is >_< as :33 bad >_< as ^-^ die with :33 tickwing. 
Urs. ÚwÚ Yet tell her of :3 it. >w< Heaw >_> what ^.^ she xDD wiww :3 say. 
:3 Hewo. No; rather UwU I xDD wiww OwO go to Benyedick 
xDD And counsel ^.^ him to >w< fight OwO against :33 his ^w^ passion. 
xDD And OwO twuwy, I'll >w< devise x3 some xDD honyest UwU swandews 
;;w;; To stain x3 my xDD cousin with. x3 Onye xDD doth nyot ^.^ knyow 
How much >w< an :33 iww ;;w;; wowd OwO may UwU empoison x3 wiking. 
Urs. >_< O, UwU do nyot UwU do x3 youw xDD cousin xDD such :3 a UwU wwong! 
:33 She ;;w;; cannyot be UwU so much ^-^ without true ^w^ judgment 
OwO (Having UwU so UwU swift ÚwÚ and :3 excewwent :3 a wit 
;;w;; As ^.^ she >_> is x3 pwiz'd to ^w^ have) >_< as to refuse 
^w^ So OwO wawe :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman >_< as :33 Signyiow Benedick. 
:3 Hewo. >w< He >_> is x3 the >w< onwy x3 man of Italy, 
Always :33 excepted x3 my uWu deaw ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Urs. UwU I pray xDD you be nyot angry with uWu me, UwU madam, 
>_> Speaking x3 my fancy: :33 Signyiow Benedick, 
For UwU shape, fow beawing, :33 awgument, ÚwÚ and uWu vawouw, 
x3 Goes ÚwÚ fowemost uWu in wepowt ^w^ thwough Italy. 
:3 Hewo. :33 Indeed ^.^ he hath >w< an :3 excewwent ÚwÚ good nyame. 
Urs. ÚwÚ His excewwence uWu did eawn >w< it ere ^.^ he xDD had :3 it. 
x3 When OwO awe xDD you >w< mawwied, :33 madam? 
:3 Hewo. Why, every day ^.^ to-mowwow! ^.^ Come, OwO go ^.^ in. 
I'll x3 show uWu thee x3 some UwU attiwes, ÚwÚ and uWu have >w< thy counsel 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the best to furnish ;;w;; me ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
^w^ [They UwU wawk UwU away.] 
Urs. >_> She's xDD wim'd, UwU I :33 wawwant you! We uWu have caught hew, UwU madam. 
:3 Hewo. ;;w;; If >w< it ^-^ pwuv >_> so, xDD then >w< woving xDD goes ^.^ by haps; 
;;w;; Some x3 Cupid :33 kiwws with awwows, x3 some with >w< twaps. 
Exeunt [Hero ÚwÚ and >_> Uwsuwa]. 

[Beatrice ^w^ advances from x3 the ÚwÚ awbouw.] 

Beat. >_> What fire >_> is uWu in >_< minye ears? UwU Can ÚwÚ this be twue? 
;;w;; Stand UwU I condemn'd fow >_< pwide ÚwÚ and ^w^ scown UwU so much? 
^w^ Contempt, farewell! ÚwÚ and >_< maiden pride, ^w^ adieu! 
No :3 gwowy ;;w;; wives x3 behind x3 the back of xDD such. 
^.^ And, Benedick, wuv xDD on; UwU I xDD wiww :3 wequite ÚwÚ thee, 
uWu Taming x3 my >w< wiwd >_< heawt to >w< thy >w< woving >w< hand. 
;;w;; If xDD thou dost xDD wuv, x3 my OwO kindnyess UwU shaww incite uWu thee 
;;w;; To bind UwU ouw loves x3 up uWu in :3 a >w< howy >_> band; 
For ;;w;; othews >_> say xDD thou dost >w< desewve, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
:3 Bewieve >w< it xDD bettew than wepowtingwy. ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene UwU II. 
^-^ A >_> woom uWu in Weonyato's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew ^.^ Don >w< Pedwo, Claudio, Benedick, ÚwÚ and :33 Weonyato. 

Pedwo. UwU I UwU do >_> but xDD stay >w< tiww x3 youw ^.^ mawwiage be uWu consummate, ÚwÚ and xDD then OwO go 
UwU I toward Arragon. 
>_< Cwaud. I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you thithew, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> if you'ww x3 vouchsafe x3 me. 
Pedwo. Nyay, :3 that ^.^ wouwd be >_< as great :3 a UwU soiw uWu in x3 the x3 nyew gloss of x3 youw 
^.^ mawwiage >_< as to x3 show :3 a chiwd :33 his x3 nyew >_> coat ÚwÚ and UwU fowbid ^.^ him to ^-^ weaw 
:3 it. UwU I xDD wiww >w< onwy be bold with Benyedick fow :33 his company; for, from 
x3 the >_< cwown of :33 his >_> head to x3 the sole of :33 his xDD foot, ^.^ he >_> is aww mirth. 
>w< He hath twice ow thrice :3 cut uWu Cupid's uWu bowstwing, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD wittwe 
;;w;; hangman dawe nyot >w< shoot uWu at ^.^ him. >w< He hath :3 a >_< heawt >_< as >_> sound >_< as :3 a 
uWu beww; ÚwÚ and :33 his >_> tongue >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ cwappew, fow >_> what :33 his >_< heawt thinks, 
:33 his >_> tongue speaks. 
Bene. OwO Gawwants, UwU I ^w^ am nyot >_< as UwU I uWu have been. 
Leon. ^w^ So >_> say ^.^ I. Methinks xDD you OwO awe >_> saddew. 
>_< Cwaud. UwU I UwU hope ^.^ he be uWu in love. 
Pedwo. Hang :3 him, ^.^ twuant! >_> Thewe's nyo true >_< dwop of :3 bwood uWu in ^.^ him to be 
:33 twuwy touch'd with love. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be :3 sad, ^.^ he wants money. 
Bene. UwU I uWu have x3 the x3 toothache. 
Pedwo. Draw :3 it. 
Bene. Hang :3 it! 
>_< Cwaud. >_> You ^w^ must ^w^ hang >w< it xDD fiwst ÚwÚ and dwaw >w< it uWu aftewwawds. 
Pedwo. What? x3 sigh fow x3 the x3 toothache? 
Leon. Whewe >_> is >_> but :3 a humouw ow :3 a ÚwÚ wowm. 
Bene. xDD Weww, every one ^.^ can >_< mastew :3 a grief >_> but ^.^ he :3 that >_> has :3 it. 
>_< Cwaud. ÚwÚ Yet >_> say UwU I ^.^ he >_> is uWu in love. 
Pedwo. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo xDD appeawance of ^w^ fancy uWu in :3 him, ^w^ unwess >w< it be :3 a ^w^ fancy 
:3 that ^.^ he hath to ;;w;; stwange ^.^ disguises; >_< as to be :3 a >w< Dutchman uWu to-day, :3 a 
OwO Fwenchman to-morrow; ow uWu in x3 the xDD shape of >w< two countwies uWu at ^w^ once, >_< as 
:3 a >_< Gewman from x3 the x3 waist downward, aww >_< swops, ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 Spanyiawd from 
x3 the hip upward, nyo doublet. OwO Unwess ^.^ he uWu have :3 a ^w^ fancy to ÚwÚ this 
foowewy, >_< as >w< it >_> appeaws ^.^ he :33 hath, ^.^ he >_> is nyo >w< foow fow >_> fancy, >_< as xDD you 
^.^ wouwd uWu have >w< it appeaw ^.^ he >w< is. 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be nyot uWu in wuv with x3 some ^w^ woman, there >_> is nyo believing 
;;w;; owd signs. >_> 'A brushes :33 his ^w^ hat ^.^ o' x3 mownyings. >_> What >_> shouwd :3 that :33 bode? 
Pedwo. >_< Hath xDD any x3 man :3 seen ^.^ him uWu at x3 the ^-^ bawbew's? 
>_< Cwaud. :3 Nyo, >_> but x3 the bawbew's x3 man hath :33 been :3 seen with :3 him, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
;;w;; owd ^w^ ownyament of :33 his >_< cheek hath xDD awweady UwU stuff'd tennyis OwO bawws. 
Leon. :33 Indeed ^.^ he :33 wooks :3 youngew than ^.^ he ^-^ did, ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ woss of :3 a :3 beawd. 
Pedwo. Nyay, xDD 'a :33 wubs >_< himsewf with UwU civet. UwU Can xDD you smell ^.^ him x3 out ^.^ by 
^-^ that? 
>_< Cwaud. >w< That's >_< as much >_< as to say, x3 the x3 sweet :3 youth's uWu in love. 
Pedwo. uWu The ÚwÚ gweatest ^-^ nyote of >w< it >_> is :33 his :3 mewanchowy. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD And when UwU was ^.^ he UwU wont to >_< wash :33 his ^.^ face? 
Pedwo. Yea, ow to OwO paint :33 himsewf? fow x3 the which UwU I hear >_> what ;;w;; they >_> say 
of ^.^ him. 
>_< Cwaud. Nyay, >_> but :33 his :3 jesting ^-^ spiwit, which >_> is OwO nyew-cwept x3 into :3 a 
lutestring, ÚwÚ and nyow guvwn'd ^.^ by stops. 
Pedwo. :33 Indeed :3 that uWu tewws :3 a x3 heavy xDD tawe fow ^.^ him. >_> Concwude, ^w^ concwude, 
^.^ he >_> is uWu in love. 
>_< Cwaud. Nyay, >_> but UwU I ^.^ knyow who loves ^.^ him. 
Pedwo. :33 That ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU too. UwU I warrant, one :3 that xDD knyows ^.^ him not. 
>_< Cwaud. Yes, ÚwÚ and :33 his :33 iww :3 conditions; ÚwÚ and uWu in ;;w;; despite of all, dies fow 
^.^ him. 
Pedwo. :33 She UwU shaww be buried with her OwO face xDD upwawds. 
Bene. ÚwÚ Yet >_> is ÚwÚ this nyo >_> chawm fow x3 the x3 toothache. ^-^ Owd signior, UwU wawk 
:3 aside with x3 me. UwU I uWu have xDD studied eight ow >w< nyinye uWu wise wowds to speak 
to UwU you, which these hobby-howses ^w^ must nyot heaw. 
UwU [Exeunt Benyedick ÚwÚ and ^.^ Weonyato.] 
Pedwo. For x3 my :3 wife, to bweak with ^.^ him about >_< Beatwice! 
>_< Cwaud. 'Tis even :3 so. ^.^ Hewo ÚwÚ and Margaret uWu have ^.^ by ÚwÚ this OwO pwayed uWu theiw 
parts with xDD Beatwice, ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 the >w< two bears xDD wiww nyot ^-^ bite one 
anyothew when ;;w;; they ^.^ meet. 

Entew John x3 the >_> Bastawd. 

OwO John. OwO My ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and brother, ^w^ God :3 save OwO you. 
Pedwo. ^-^ Good ^.^ den, ^-^ bwothew. 
OwO John. ;;w;; If x3 youw leisure sewv'd, UwU I ^.^ wouwd speak with OwO you. 
Pedwo. ^w^ In private? 
OwO John. ;;w;; If >w< it uWu pwease OwO you. ÚwÚ Yet xDD Count OwO Cwaudio OwO may heaw, fow >_> what UwU I 
^.^ wouwd speak of uWu concewns ^.^ him. 
Pedwo. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
OwO John. >_> [to :3 Cwaudio] >_> Means x3 youw OwO wowdship to be mawwied tomowwow? 
Pedwo. >_> You ^.^ knyow ^.^ he does. 
OwO John. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :3 that, when ^.^ he xDD knyows >_> what UwU I :33 knyow. 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; If there be xDD any OwO impediment, UwU I pray xDD you OwO discuvw :3 it. 
OwO John. >_> You OwO may think UwU I wuv xDD you not. Let :3 that appeaw heweaftew, ÚwÚ and 
aim xDD bettew uWu at ;;w;; me ^.^ by :3 that UwU I nyow xDD wiww ^w^ manyifest. For x3 my brother, UwU I 
think ^.^ he ÚwÚ howds xDD you weww ÚwÚ and uWu in UwU deawnyess of >_< heawt hath holp to 
^w^ effect x3 youw ;;w;; ensuing xDD mawwiage--suwewy >_> suit :33 iww xDD spent ÚwÚ and labour 
:33 iww xDD bestowed! 
Pedwo. Why, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
OwO John. UwU I ^-^ came ÚwÚ hithew to tell UwU you, x3 and, >_> ciwcumstances x3 showt'nyed (fow 
^.^ she >_> has :33 been ^w^ too ^-^ wong a-talking ÚwÚ of), x3 the uWu wady >_> is ^.^ diswoyaw. 
>_< Cwaud. uWu Who? Hero? 
OwO John. Even she--Weonyato's Hero, x3 youw Hero, every :33 man's :3 Hewo. 
>_< Cwaud. ^w^ Diswoyaw? 
OwO John. uWu The ;;w;; wowd >_> is ^w^ too ÚwÚ good to OwO paint x3 out her ^w^ wickednyess. UwU I couwd >_> say 
^.^ she :3 wewe ÚwÚ wowse; think xDD you of :3 a xDD wowse :3 titwe, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; fit her to 
:3 it. >w< Wondew nyot >w< tiww further ;;w;; wawwant. Go >_> but with ;;w;; me OwO to-nyight, xDD you 
UwU shaww >_> see her x3 chambew window ent'wed, even x3 the >w< nyight >w< befowe her 
ÚwÚ wedding x3 day. ;;w;; If xDD you wuv her >w< then, to-mowwow x3 wed her. OwO But >w< it 
^.^ wouwd xDD bettew ;;w;; fit x3 youw honour to change x3 youw :33 mind. 
>_< Cwaud. ^-^ May ÚwÚ this be so? 
Pedwo. UwU I xDD wiww nyot think :3 it. 
OwO John. ;;w;; If xDD you dawe nyot :33 twust :3 that xDD you see, x3 confess nyot :3 that xDD you 
:33 knyow. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow uWu me, UwU I xDD wiww x3 show xDD you >_< enyough; ÚwÚ and when xDD you 
uWu have :3 seen ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and heard >_> mowe, proceed :3 accowdingwy. 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; If UwU I >_> see ;;w;; anything ^.^ to-nyight >w< why UwU I >_> shouwd nyot marry her 
^.^ to-mowwow, uWu in x3 the congwegation :3 whewe UwU I >_> shouwd ;;w;; wed, there xDD wiww UwU I 
^-^ shame her. 
Pedwo. ^.^ And, >_< as UwU I :3 wooed fow uWu thee to UwU obtain hew, UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ join with 
uWu thee to xDD disgwace her. 
OwO John. UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ dispawage her nyo ^-^ fawthew >w< tiww xDD you OwO awe x3 my ÚwÚ witnyesses. 
ÚwÚ Beaw >w< it coldly >_> but >w< tiww midnight, ÚwÚ and wet x3 the x3 issue x3 show itself. 
Pedwo. x3 O day untowawdwy turned! 
>_< Cwaud. x3 O ^-^ mischief OwO stwangewy thwawting! 
OwO John. x3 O pwague >w< wight weww :3 pwevented! 
^w^ So xDD wiww xDD you >_> say when xDD you uWu have :3 seen x3 the Sequel. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
^-^ A :33 stweet. 

Entew :3 Dogbewwy ÚwÚ and :33 his compawtnyew [Verges], with x3 the ÚwÚ Watch. 

^w^ Dog. ^w^ Awe xDD you ÚwÚ good ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and twue? 
>_> Vewg. Yea, ow >_> ewse >w< it :3 wewe pity >_> but ;;w;; they >_> shouwd suffew sawvation, 
>w< body ÚwÚ and ^-^ souw. 
^w^ Dog. Nyay, :3 that :3 wewe :3 a UwU punyishment ^w^ too ÚwÚ good fow them >_> if ;;w;; they >_> shouwd 
uWu have xDD any OwO awwegiance uWu in ÚwÚ them, ^.^ being OwO chosen fow x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's :33 watch. 
>_> Vewg. xDD Weww, UwU give them uWu theiw charge, OwO nyeighbouw ^w^ Dogbewwy. 
^w^ Dog. ^.^ Fiwst, who think xDD you x3 the UwU most desawtwess x3 man to be constabwe? 
:3 1. ÚwÚ Watch. ^.^ Hugh >_< Oatcake, ^w^ siw, ow ^w^ Geowge Seacoal; fow ;;w;; they ^.^ can >w< wwite 
ÚwÚ and wead. 
^w^ Dog. :3 Come hithew, OwO nyeighbouw Seacoaw. ^w^ God hath uWu bwess'd xDD you with :3 a 
ÚwÚ good nyame. ;;w;; To be :3 a ^-^ weww-favouwed x3 man >_> is x3 the ^w^ gift of fowtunye, >_> but 
to >w< wwite ÚwÚ and ^w^ wead x3 comes ^.^ by :33 nyatuwe. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. UwU Both ^w^ which, >_< Mastew ^w^ Constabwe-- 
^w^ Dog. >_> You :3 have. UwU I UwU knyew >w< it ^.^ wouwd be x3 youw answer. xDD Weww, fow x3 youw 
favour, ^w^ siw, >w< why, UwU give ^w^ God thanks ÚwÚ and >_< make nyo boast of uWu it; ÚwÚ and 
fow x3 youw wwiting ÚwÚ and ^-^ weading, wet :3 that appeaw when there >_> is nyo 
>_< nyeed of xDD such ^-^ vanyity. >_> You OwO awe xDD thought OwO hewe to be x3 the UwU most 
senseless ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fit x3 man fow x3 the ÚwÚ constabwe of x3 the :33 watch. Therefore 
UwU beaw xDD you x3 the lanthorn. This >_> is x3 youw >_< chawge: xDD you UwU shaww comprehend 
aww vagwom ÚwÚ men; xDD you OwO awe to bid xDD any x3 man x3 stand, uWu in x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's 
nyame. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. How >_> if xDD 'a xDD wiww nyot stand? 
^w^ Dog. Why >w< then, OwO take nyo ^-^ nyote of :3 him, >_> but wet ^.^ him x3 go, ÚwÚ and presently 
caww x3 the xDD west of x3 the ;;w;; watch togethew ÚwÚ and >_> thank ^w^ God xDD you OwO awe x3 wid of 
:3 a knave. 
>_> Vewg. ;;w;; If ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot stand when ^.^ he >_> is ^.^ bidden, ^.^ he >_> is >_< nyonye of x3 the 
;;w;; Pwince's xDD subjects. 
^w^ Dog. >_< Twue, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they OwO awe to UwU meddwe with >_< nyonye >_> but x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's 
xDD subjects. >_> You UwU shaww awso >_< make nyo noise uWu in x3 the streets; fow fow 
x3 the ;;w;; watch to babbwe ÚwÚ and to tawk >_> is UwU most tolerable, ÚwÚ and nyot to be 
endured. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. We xDD wiww rather :33 sweep than ^-^ tawk. We ^.^ knyow >_> what ^-^ bewongs to 
:3 a :33 watch. 
^w^ Dog. Why, xDD you speak ^.^ wike >w< an UwU ancient ÚwÚ and UwU most :33 quiet watchman, fow UwU I 
;;w;; cannyot >_> see >w< how x3 sweeping >_> shouwd offend. Onwy uWu have :3 a :3 cawe :3 that x3 youw 
bills be nyot stow'n. xDD Weww, xDD you OwO awe to caww uWu at aww x3 the awehouses 
ÚwÚ and bid UwU those :3 that OwO awe UwU dwunk get them to :3 bed. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. How >_> if ;;w;; they xDD wiww ^w^ nyot? 
^w^ Dog. Why >w< then, wet them awonye >w< tiww ;;w;; they OwO awe :33 sobew. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they >_< make xDD you 
nyot xDD then x3 the xDD bettew ÚwÚ answew, >_> You OwO may >_> say ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot x3 the ;;w;; men xDD you 
>_> took them ;;w;; fow. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. xDD Weww, sir. 
^w^ Dog. ;;w;; If xDD you :3 meet :3 a :33 thief, xDD you OwO may >_> suspect :3 him, ^.^ by viwtue of x3 youw 
office, to be nyo true xDD man; ÚwÚ and fow xDD such uWu kind of men, x3 the less xDD you 
UwU meddwe ow >_< make with ÚwÚ them, >w< why, x3 the ^.^ mowe x3 youw x3 honyesty. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. ;;w;; If ^.^ we ^.^ knyow ^.^ him to be :3 a :33 thief, UwU shaww ^.^ we nyot uWu way ^.^ hands on 
him? 
^w^ Dog. ^-^ Twuwy, ^.^ by x3 youw ^.^ office xDD you ;;w;; may; >_> but UwU I think ;;w;; they :3 that :33 touch 
^w^ pitch xDD wiww be :3 defiw'd. uWu The UwU most peaceabwe uWu way fow UwU you, >_> if xDD you UwU do 
OwO take :3 a :33 thief, >_> is to wet ^.^ him x3 show >_< himsewf >_> what ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and ^.^ steaw 
x3 out of x3 youw UwU company. 
>_> Vewg. >_> You uWu have :33 been awways ^w^ cawwed :3 a mewcifuw ^w^ man, partner. 
^w^ Dog. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ^w^ hang :3 a dog ^.^ by x3 my :33 wiww, much ^.^ mowe :3 a x3 man who 
hath xDD any honesty uWu in ^.^ him. 
>_> Vewg. ;;w;; If xDD you hear :3 a chiwd cwy uWu in x3 the night, xDD you ^w^ must caww to x3 the 
nyuwse ÚwÚ and bid her still :3 it. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. How >_> if x3 the nyuwse be ;;w;; asweep ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot hear us? 
^w^ Dog. Why >w< then, ÚwÚ depawt uWu in uWu peace ÚwÚ and wet x3 the chiwd wake her with 
:33 cwying; fow x3 the ewe :3 that xDD wiww nyot hear her :3 wamb when >w< it :33 baes xDD wiww 
>_< nyevew answew :3 a cawf when ^.^ he bleats. 
>_> Vewg. 'Tis xDD vewy true. 
^w^ Dog. This >_> is x3 the >w< end of x3 the >_< chawge: UwU you, constabwe, OwO awe to xDD pwesent 
x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's UwU own person. ;;w;; If xDD you :3 meet x3 the Prince uWu in x3 the night, 
xDD you OwO may xDD stay ^.^ him. 
>_> Vewg. Nyay, :33 by'w UwU wady, :3 that UwU I think xDD 'a cannot. 
^w^ Dog. :3 Five shiwwings to one ^.^ on't with xDD any x3 man :3 that xDD knyows x3 the 
xDD statutes, ^.^ he OwO may xDD stay x3 him! OwO Mawwy, nyot ^-^ without x3 the Prince be 
uWu wiwwing; fow ÚwÚ indeed x3 the ;;w;; watch ought to ^-^ offend nyo ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is 
>w< an offence to xDD stay :3 a x3 man OwO against :33 his :33 wiww. 
>_> Vewg. xDD By'w UwU wady, UwU I think >w< it be :3 so. 
^w^ Dog. >w< Ha, UwU ah, :33 ha! xDD Weww, mastews, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. ^-^ An there be xDD any ;;w;; mattew 
of >_> weight >w< chances, caww x3 up x3 me. ^w^ Keep x3 youw OwO fewwows' uWu counsews ÚwÚ and 
x3 youw OwO own, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. ^.^ Come, UwU nyeighbouw. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. xDD Weww, mastews, ^.^ we hear UwU ouw chawge. Let >_> us OwO go sit OwO hewe 
;;w;; upon x3 the ^-^ chuwch bench >w< tiww >_> two, ÚwÚ and xDD then aww to :3 bed. 
^w^ Dog. x3 Onye ;;w;; wowd >_> mowe, xDD honyest ^.^ nyeighbouws. UwU I pray xDD you ;;w;; watch about 
:33 Signyiow Weonyato's door; fow x3 the ÚwÚ wedding ^.^ being there ^-^ tomowwow, 
there >_> is :3 a great coiw to-night. uWu Adieu. ^w^ Be ;;w;; vigitant, UwU I :33 beseech 
OwO you. Exeunt [Dogbewwy ÚwÚ and xDD Vewges]. 

Entew Borachio ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Conwade. 

>_> Bowa. What, Conrade! 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. >w< [aside] ;;w;; Peace! stir ^w^ nyot! 
>_> Bowa. Conrade, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
x3 Con. Here, man. UwU I ^w^ am uWu at >w< thy :33 ewbow. 
>_> Bowa. Mass, ÚwÚ and x3 my OwO ewbow itch'd! UwU I xDD thought there ^.^ wouwd :3 a >_> scab 
x3 fowwow. 
x3 Con. UwU I xDD wiww >_> owe uWu thee >w< an answew fow :33 that; ÚwÚ and nyow forward with >w< thy 
^-^ tawe. 
>_> Bowa. ;;w;; Stand uWu thee ^-^ cwose xDD then :33 undew ÚwÚ this penthouse, fow >w< it dwizzwes 
rain, ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 wiww, ^.^ wike :3 a true ÚwÚ dwunkawd, :33 uttew aww to thee. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. >w< [aside] ;;w;; Some uWu tweason, ^w^ mastews. ÚwÚ Yet stand uWu cwose. 
>_> Bowa. Therefore ^.^ knyow UwU I uWu have earned of ^.^ Don John :3 a thousand xDD ducats. 
x3 Con. Is >w< it OwO possibwe :3 that xDD any viwwany >_> shouwd be UwU so ^w^ deaw? 
>_> Bowa. ^.^ Thou shouwdst rather ^w^ ask >_> if >w< it :3 wewe OwO possibwe xDD any viwwany 
>_> shouwd be UwU so wich; fow when rich x3 viwwains uWu have >_< nyeed of poor onyes, 
poor ^-^ onyes OwO may >_< make >_> what pwice ;;w;; they :33 wiww. 
x3 Con. UwU I wonder uWu at :3 it. 
>_> Bowa. :33 That >_< shows xDD thou awt unconfirm'd. ^.^ Thou knowest :3 that x3 the 
fashion of :3 a ÚwÚ doubwet, ow :3 a hat, ow :3 a cloak, >_> is >_< nyothing to :3 a man. 
x3 Con. Yes, >w< it >_> is ^-^ appawew. 
>_> Bowa. UwU I >_> mean x3 the fashion. 
x3 Con. Yes, x3 the fashion >_> is x3 the fashion. 
>_> Bowa. >w< Tush! UwU I OwO may >_< as weww >_> say x3 the ;;w;; foow's x3 the xDD foow. OwO But seest xDD thou 
nyot >_> what :3 a >_< defowmed UwU thief ÚwÚ this fashion :33 is? 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. >w< [aside] UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 that :3 Defowmed. >_> 'A x3 bas :33 been :3 a ^-^ viwe UwU thief 
ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ seven yeaw; xDD 'a xDD goes x3 up ÚwÚ and down ^.^ wike :3 a :3 gentweman. UwU I remember 
:33 his nyame. 
>_> Bowa. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot hear xDD somebody? 
x3 Con. No; uWu 'twas x3 the vanye on x3 the ÚwÚ house. 
>_> Bowa. OwO Seest xDD thou >_> nyot, UwU I say, >_> what :3 a >_< defowmed UwU thief ÚwÚ this fashion :33 is? 
>w< how giddiwy xDD 'a tuwns about aww x3 the xDD hot-bwoods ^-^ between ^.^ fouwteen 
ÚwÚ and five-and-thirty? x3 sometimes fashioning them ^.^ wike Phawaoh's 
^-^ sowdiews uWu in x3 the >_< weechy OwO painting, ÚwÚ sometime ^.^ wike god :3 Bew's priests 
uWu in x3 the ;;w;; owd ^-^ chuwch >_< window, ÚwÚ sometime ^.^ wike x3 the OwO shaven Hercules uWu in 
x3 the smirch'd worm-eaten :33 tapestwy, :3 whewe :33 his ^.^ codpiece ;;w;; seems >_< as 
;;w;; massy >_< as :33 his UwU cwub? 
x3 Con. All ÚwÚ this UwU I see; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> see :3 that x3 the fashion ^-^ weaws x3 out ^.^ mowe 
apparel than x3 the man. OwO But awt nyot xDD thou >w< thysewf ^-^ giddy with x3 the 
fashion :3 too, :3 that xDD thou x3 hast >w< shifted x3 out of >w< thy xDD tawe x3 into :3 tewwing 
;;w;; me of x3 the fashion? 
>_> Bowa. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so >_> nyeithew. OwO But ^.^ knyow :3 that UwU I uWu have ^.^ to-nyight :3 wooed Margaret, 
x3 the xDD Wady Hero's gentwewoman, ^.^ by x3 the xDD nyame of :3 Hewo. :33 She weans ;;w;; me 
x3 out uWu at her >_< mistwess' x3 chambew >_< window, UwU bids ;;w;; me :3 a thousand times 
ÚwÚ good xDD nyight--I tell ÚwÚ this xDD tawe viwewy; UwU I >_> shouwd xDD fiwst tell uWu thee >w< how 
x3 the >_< Pwince, OwO Cwaudio ÚwÚ and x3 my ^.^ mastew, ^-^ pwanted ÚwÚ and pwaced ÚwÚ and 
>_> possessed ^.^ by x3 my >_< mastew ^.^ Don John, saw afaw x3 off uWu in x3 the orchard ÚwÚ this 
:3 amiabwe ÚwÚ encountew. 
x3 Con. xDD And xDD thought ;;w;; they Margaret UwU was Hero? 
>_> Bowa. Two of them ^-^ did, x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and ^w^ Cwaudio; >_> but x3 the ^.^ deviw x3 my 
>_< mastew UwU knyew ^.^ she UwU was Mawgawet; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; pawtwy ^.^ by :33 his oaths, which 
xDD fiwst >_< possess'd ÚwÚ them, ;;w;; pawtwy ^.^ by x3 the dark night, which uWu did >w< deceive 
ÚwÚ them, >_> but ^.^ chiefwy ^.^ by x3 my viwwany, which uWu did :33 confiwm xDD any ^-^ swandew 
:3 that ^.^ Don John xDD had made, OwO away OwO went OwO Cwaudio ÚwÚ enwag'd; >w< swowe ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd 
:3 meet hew, >_< as ^.^ he UwU was :33 appointed, :3 nyext mownying uWu at x3 the ^-^ tempwe, ÚwÚ and 
thewe, >w< befowe x3 the whole x3 congwegation, ^-^ shame her with >_> what ^.^ he saw 
^w^ o'ewnyight ÚwÚ and >_> send her ^.^ home again ^-^ without :3 a husband. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. We :3 chawge xDD you uWu in x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's xDD nyame stand! 
:3 1. ÚwÚ Watch. ;;w;; Caww x3 up x3 the >w< wight >_< Mastew Constable. We uWu have OwO hewe 
^w^ wecuvw'd x3 the UwU most uWu dangewous ^.^ piece of lechery :3 that OwO evew UwU was ÚwÚ knyown 
uWu in x3 the >_> commonweawth. 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. xDD And one ^-^ Defowmed >_> is one of OwO them. UwU I ^.^ knyow him; xDD 'a ^-^ weaws :3 a 
^-^ wock. 
x3 Con. Masters, uWu mastews-- 
:3 1. ÚwÚ Watch. You'll be UwU made ;;w;; bwing ^-^ Defowmed ^-^ fowth, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
x3 Con. ;;w;; Mastews-- 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. xDD Nyevew :3 speak, ^.^ we :3 chawge OwO you. Let >_> us UwU obey xDD you to OwO go with 
>_> us. 
>_> Bowa. We OwO awe ^.^ wike to ^-^ pwuv :3 a xDD goodwy ^-^ commodity, ^.^ being :33 taken x3 up of 
these men's bills. 
x3 Con. ^-^ A :3 commodity uWu in ^.^ question, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. ^.^ Come, we'll UwU obey OwO you. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene :33 IV. 
^-^ A Room uWu in Weonyato's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew Hero, ÚwÚ and Margaret ÚwÚ and Ursula. 

:3 Hewo. ^-^ Good Uwsuwa, wake x3 my xDD cousin ^.^ Beatwice ÚwÚ and ^.^ desiwe her to uWu wise. 
Urs. UwU I :33 wiww, >_> wady. 
:3 Hewo. xDD And bid her come hithew. 
Urs. ^-^ Weww. ^-^ [Exit.] 
:3 Mawg. Troth, UwU I think x3 youw othew webato :3 wewe ^-^ bettew. 
:3 Hewo. :3 Nyo, pray ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good >_< Meg, I'll ^-^ weaw UwU this. 
:3 Mawg. ^-^ By x3 my troth, ^-^ 's nyot UwU so UwU good, ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 wawwant x3 youw xDD cousin xDD wiww 
>_> say :3 so. 
:3 Hewo. OwO My uWu cousin's :3 a x3 foow, ÚwÚ and xDD thou awt anyothew. I'll ^-^ weaw >_< nyonye >_> but 
UwU this. 
:3 Mawg. UwU I ^.^ wike x3 the x3 nyew tire within >_> excewwentwy, >_> if x3 the >_< haiw :3 wewe :3 a 
xDD thought ^-^ bwownyew; ÚwÚ and x3 youw ÚwÚ gown's :3 a UwU most OwO wawe fashion, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
UwU I saw x3 the :3 Duchess of >_< Miwan's ÚwÚ gown :3 that ;;w;; they praise :3 so. 
:3 Hewo. >_< O, :3 that ^-^ exceeds, ;;w;; they :3 say. 
:3 Mawg. ^-^ By x3 my troth, ^-^ 's >_> but :3 a ^-^ nyightgown uWu in wespect of youws-- 
^w^ cwoth-o'-gowd ÚwÚ and uWu cuts, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wac'd with ^.^ siwvew, uWu set with uWu peawws 
down >w< sweeves, ^w^ side-sweeves, ÚwÚ and x3 skiwts, ;;w;; wound >_< undewbownye with 
:3 a bwush x3 tinsew. OwO But fow :3 a uWu finye, quaint, ^.^ gwacefuw, ÚwÚ and :3 excewwent 
fashion, >_> youws >_> is ^.^ wowth ;;w;; ten ^.^ on't. 
:3 Hewo. ^w^ God UwU give ;;w;; me joy to ^-^ weaw :3 it! fow x3 my >_< heawt >_> is :33 exceeding heavy. 
:3 Mawg. 'Twiww be heaview >w< soon ^.^ by x3 the >_> weight of :3 a man. 
:3 Hewo. >w< Fie ;;w;; upon uWu thee! awt nyot >_< ashamed? 
:3 Mawg. Of x3 what, x3 wady? of speaking honourably? Is nyot ^.^ mawwiage 
^.^ honyouwabwe uWu in :3 a ^.^ beggaw? Is nyot x3 youw ;;w;; wowd ^.^ honyouwabwe ^-^ without 
x3 mawwiage? UwU I think xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; me say, 'saving x3 youw xDD wevewence, 
:3 a >_> husband.' ^-^ An :33 bad uWu thinking UwU do nyot x3 wwest true ^-^ speaking, I'll 
^-^ offend nyobody. Is there xDD any x3 hawm uWu in ÚwÚ 'the heaview fow :3 a ^.^ husband'? 
ÚwÚ Nyonye, UwU I >_< think, >w< an >w< it be x3 the >w< wight :33 husband ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< wight x3 wife. 
uWu Othewwise UwU 'tis wight, ÚwÚ and nyot heavy. ;;w;; Ask x3 my xDD Wady ^.^ Beatwice ewse. 
:3 Hewe ^.^ she ^w^ comes. 

Entew >_> Beatwice. 

:3 Hewo. ^-^ Good morrow, :3 coz. 
Beat. ^-^ Good morrow, x3 sweet :3 Hewo. 
:3 Hewo. Why, >w< how ^.^ nyow? Do xDD you speak uWu in x3 the >w< sick :33 tunye? 
Beat. UwU I ^w^ am x3 out of aww othew ÚwÚ tunye, ^.^ methinks. 
:3 Mawg. >w< Cwap's x3 into 'Wight ^.^ o' :3 wuv.' :33 That xDD goes ^-^ without :3 a buwden. Do 
xDD you ^.^ sing :33 it, ÚwÚ and I'll UwU dance :3 it. 
Beat. Yea, 'Wight ^.^ o' love' with x3 youw ;;w;; heews! >w< then, >_> if x3 youw :33 husband 
uWu have ;;w;; stabwes UwU enyough, you'ww >_> see ^.^ he UwU shaww ^.^ wack nyo barnes. 
:3 Mawg. x3 O ^.^ iwwegitimate construction! UwU I ^w^ scown :3 that with x3 my xDD heews. 
Beat. 'Tis almost five o'clock, :3 cousin; UwU 'tis time xDD you :3 wewe weady. 
^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU I ^w^ am :33 exceeding ill. ^-^ Hey-ho! 
:3 Mawg. For :3 a :3 hawk, :3 a horse, ow :3 a OwO husband? 
Beat. For x3 the >_> wettew :3 that ÚwÚ begins them all, ;;w;; H. 
:3 Mawg. xDD Weww, >w< an xDD you be nyot >_> tuwn'd ÚwÚ Tuwk, there's nyo ^.^ mowe saiwing ^.^ by 
x3 the uWu staw. 
Beat. >_> What means x3 the x3 foow, trow? 
:3 Mawg. Nyothing x3 I; >_> but ^w^ God >_> send every one uWu theiw heart's desire! 
:3 Hewo. ;;w;; These ^.^ gwuvs x3 the xDD Count sent uWu me, ;;w;; they OwO awe >w< an :3 excewwent 
perfume. 
Beat. UwU I ^w^ am stuff'd, :3 cousin; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> smeww. 
:3 Mawg. ^-^ A ;;w;; maid, ÚwÚ and >w< stuff'd! >_> Thewe's xDD goodwy x3 catching of cowd. 
Beat. >_< O, ^w^ God OwO hewp me! ^w^ God OwO hewp me! How ^-^ wong uWu have xDD you >w< pwofess'd 
>_> appwehension? 
:3 Mawg. ^w^ Evew xDD since xDD you left :3 it. ^-^ Doth nyot x3 my wit :33 become ;;w;; me ^-^ wawewy? 
Beat. ^.^ It >_> is nyot :3 seen enyough. >_> You >_> shouwd ^-^ weaw >w< it uWu in x3 youw cap. ^-^ By x3 my 
troth, UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; sick. 
:3 Mawg. >_< Get xDD you x3 some of ÚwÚ this uWu distiww'd cawduus benedictus ÚwÚ and uWu way >w< it 
to x3 youw ;;w;; heawt. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the >w< onwy ^.^ thing fow :3 a ^w^ quawm. 
:3 Hewo. >_> Thewe xDD thou OwO pwick'st her with :3 a thistle. 
Beat. ;;w;; Benyedictus? >w< why uWu benyedictus? >_> You uWu have x3 some :3 mowaw uWu in ÚwÚ this 
UwU 'benyedictus.' 
:3 Mawg. xDD Mowaw? :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my troth, UwU I uWu have nyo :3 mowaw ^.^ meanying; UwU I meant 
uWu pwain >w< howy thistle. >_> You OwO may think x3 pewchance :3 that UwU I think xDD you OwO awe 
uWu in love. Nyay, :33 by'w UwU wady, UwU I ^w^ am nyot xDD such :3 a >w< foow to think >_> what UwU I 
x3 wist; nor UwU I ÚwÚ wist nyot to think >_> what UwU I can; nor ÚwÚ indeed UwU I ;;w;; cannyot 
>_< think, >_> if UwU I ^.^ wouwd think x3 my >_< heawt x3 out of uWu thinking, :3 that xDD you OwO awe uWu in 
xDD wuv, ow :3 that xDD you xDD wiww be uWu in xDD wuv, ow :3 that xDD you ^.^ can be uWu in love. 
ÚwÚ Yet Benyedick UwU was xDD such another, ÚwÚ and nyow >_> is ^.^ he :33 become :3 a man. >w< He 
>w< swowe ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew marry; ÚwÚ and yet nyow uWu in ;;w;; despite of :33 his >_< heawt 
^.^ he ^w^ eats :33 his :3 meat ^-^ without >_< gwudging; ÚwÚ and >w< how xDD you OwO may be ^.^ convewted UwU I 
^.^ knyow >_> nyot, >_> but uWu methinks xDD you wook with x3 youw eyes >_< as othew x3 women xDD do. 
Beat. >_> What >_> pace >_> is ÚwÚ this :3 that >w< thy >_> tongue ;;w;; keeps? 
:3 Mawg. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a UwU fawse gallop. 

Entew Ursula. 

Urs. uWu Madam, uWu withdwaw. uWu The >_< Pwince, x3 the ^.^ Count, :33 Signyiow Benedick, ^.^ Don 
John, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the gawwants of x3 the :33 town OwO awe come to :3 fetch xDD you to 
:3 chuwch. 
:3 Hewo. ^-^ Hewp to :3 dwess uWu me, ÚwÚ good x3 coz, ÚwÚ good >_< Meg, ÚwÚ good Ursula. 
[Exeunt.] 




Scene V. 
uWu The ^-^ haww uWu in Weonyato's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew Weonyato ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu Constabwe OwO [Dogbewwy] ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 Headbowough xDD [vewges]. 

Leon. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you with uWu me, xDD honyest nyeighbouw? 
^w^ Dog. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have x3 some :3 confidence with xDD you :3 that decerns 
xDD you >_< nyeawwy. 
Leon. Bwief, UwU I pray uWu you; fow xDD you >_> see >w< it >_> is :3 a >w< busy time with x3 me. 
^w^ Dog. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ this >w< it ;;w;; is, sir. 
>_> Vewg. Yes, uWu in uWu twuth >w< it ;;w;; is, sir. 
Leon. >_> What >_> is :33 it, x3 my ÚwÚ good friends? 
^w^ Dog. Goodman ^.^ Vewges, ^w^ siw, xDD speaks :3 a xDD wittwe x3 off x3 the mattew--an ;;w;; owd 
^w^ man, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and :33 his :33 wits OwO awe nyot UwU so >w< bwunt as, ^w^ God hewp, UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
^.^ desiwe ;;w;; they were; but, uWu in ^w^ faith, xDD honyest >_< as x3 the uWu skin ^-^ between :33 his 
ÚwÚ bwows. 
>_> Vewg. Yes, UwU I >_> thank ^w^ God UwU I ^w^ am >_< as xDD honyest >_< as xDD any x3 man UwU wiving :3 that >_> is >w< an 
;;w;; owd x3 man ÚwÚ and nyo ^-^ honyestew than ^.^ I. 
^w^ Dog. >w< Compawisons OwO awe ^w^ odowous. OwO Pawabwas, OwO nyeighbouw x3 Vewges. 
Leon. Neighbours, xDD you OwO awe UwU tedious. 
^w^ Dog. ^.^ It x3 pweases x3 youw :33 wowship to >_> say >_> so, >_> but ^.^ we OwO awe x3 the poor Duke's 
>_> officews; >_> but OwO twuwy, fow >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe >_< as tedious >_< as :3 a 
OwO king, UwU I couwd find uWu in x3 my >_< heawt to bestow >w< it aww of x3 youw UwU wowship. 
Leon. All >w< thy UwU tediousnyess on uWu me, :33 ah? 
^w^ Dog. Yea, uWu in >w< 'twewe :3 a thousand ;;w;; pound ^.^ mowe than ÚwÚ 'tis; fow UwU I hear >_< as 
ÚwÚ good ;;w;; excwamation on x3 youw :33 wowship >_< as of xDD any x3 man uWu in x3 the >_> city; ÚwÚ and 
^w^ though UwU I be >_> but :3 a poor ^w^ man, UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to hear :3 it. 
>_> Vewg. xDD And UwU so ^w^ am ^.^ I. 
Leon. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain ^.^ knyow >_> what xDD you uWu have to :3 say. 
>_> Vewg. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, UwU ouw ;;w;; watch OwO to-nyight, >_< excepting x3 youw ^w^ wowship's 
>_> pwesence, UwU ha' >_> ta'en :3 a coupwe of >_< as uWu awwant knyaves >_< as xDD any uWu in 
Messina. 
^w^ Dog. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, siw; ^.^ he xDD wiww be tawking. ;;w;; As ;;w;; they say, ^-^ 'When 
x3 the age >_> is x3 in, x3 the wit >_> is >_> out.' ^w^ God OwO hewp ÚwÚ us! >w< it >_> is :3 a wowwd to 
uWu see! Weww said, :33 i' ^w^ faith, OwO nyeighbouw x3 Vewges. xDD Weww, >_> God's :3 a ÚwÚ good 
man. ^-^ An >w< two ;;w;; men uWu wide of :3 a horse, one ^w^ must uWu wide behind. ^-^ An xDD honyest 
x3 souw, :33 i' ^w^ faith, ^w^ siw, ^.^ by x3 my troth ^.^ he ;;w;; is, >_< as OwO evew broke bwead; >_> but 
^w^ God >_> is to be wowshipp'd; aww ;;w;; men OwO awe nyot xDD awike, :3 awas, ÚwÚ good 
nyeighbouw! 
Leon. >w< Indeed, >w< nyeighbouw, ^.^ he x3 comes ^w^ too showt of OwO you. 
^w^ Dog. >_> Gifts :3 that ^w^ God ;;w;; gives. 
Leon. UwU I ^w^ must OwO weave OwO you. 
^w^ Dog. x3 Onye word, sir. Our >w< watch, ^w^ siw, uWu have ÚwÚ indeed compwehended >w< two 
aspicious OwO pewsons, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd uWu have them ÚwÚ this mownying examined 
>w< befowe x3 youw UwU wowship. 
Leon. ^.^ Take uWu theiw examinyation >_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing >w< it x3 me. UwU I ^w^ am nyow uWu in 
great xDD haste, >_< as >w< it OwO may appeaw >w< unto OwO you. 
^w^ Dog. ^.^ It UwU shaww be OwO suffigance. 
Leon. ^w^ Dwink x3 some winye ere xDD you ÚwÚ go. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 

[Entew :3 a >w< Messengew.] 

:33 Mess. OwO My uWu wowd, ;;w;; they xDD stay fow xDD you to UwU give x3 youw daughter to her 
husband. 
Leon. I'll wait ;;w;; upon OwO them. UwU I ^w^ am weady. 
UwU [Exeunt Weonyato ÚwÚ and >w< Messengew.] 
^w^ Dog. ^w^ Go, ÚwÚ good pawtnyew, OwO go get xDD you to ^-^ Fwancis Seacoal; bid ^.^ him ;;w;; bwing 
:33 his OwO pen ÚwÚ and inkhorn to x3 the ^.^ jaiw. We OwO awe nyow to examinyation these 
^.^ men. 
>_> Vewg. xDD And ^.^ we ^w^ must UwU do >w< it wisely. 
^w^ Dog. We xDD wiww ^-^ spawe fow nyo ^w^ wit, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. >_> Hewe's :3 that UwU shaww 
UwU dwive x3 some of them to :3 a UwU nyon-come. Onwy get x3 the :33 weawnyed UwU wwitew to 
uWu set down UwU ouw excommunication, ÚwÚ and :3 meet ;;w;; me uWu at x3 the ^.^ jaiw. 
[Exeunt.] 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. Scene ^.^ I. 
^-^ A :3 chuwch. 

Entew ^.^ Don >w< Pedwo, ^.^ [John ^w^ the] Bastard, Leonato, uWu Fwiaw ÚwÚ [Fwancis], Claudio, 
Benedick, Hero, xDD Beatwice, [and >w< Attendants]. 

Leon. ^.^ Come, uWu Fwiaw Fwancis, be bwief. Onwy to x3 the uWu pwain >_< fowm of 
^.^ mawwiage, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww ^w^ wecount uWu theiw xDD pawticuwaw >_> duties 
uWu aftewwawds. 
Fwiaw. >_> You come hithew, x3 my uWu wowd, to marry ÚwÚ this x3 wady? 
>_< Cwaud. No. 
Leon. ;;w;; To be mawwied to her. uWu Fwiaw, xDD you come to marry her. 
Fwiaw. Lady, xDD you come ÚwÚ hithew to be mawwied to ÚwÚ this x3 count? 
:3 Hewo. UwU I xDD do. 
Fwiaw. ;;w;; If xDD eithew of xDD you ^.^ knyow xDD any inward x3 impediment >w< why xDD you >_> shouwd 
nyot be conjoined, UwU I :3 chawge xDD you on x3 youw >w< souws to :33 uttew :3 it. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD Knyow xDD you uWu any, Hero? 
:3 Hewo. ÚwÚ Nyonye, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Fwiaw. xDD Knyow xDD you uWu any, >w< Count? 
Leon. UwU I dawe >_< make :33 his ÚwÚ answew--nyonye. 
>_< Cwaud. >_< O, >_> what ;;w;; men dawe :33 do! >_> what ;;w;; men OwO may :33 do! >_> what ;;w;; men x3 daiwy UwU do, nyot 
x3 knyowing >_> what ;;w;; they :33 do! 
Bene. How ^.^ nyow? ;;w;; intewjections? Why >w< then, x3 some be of xDD waughing, as, 
UwU ah, ha, OwO he! 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; Stand uWu thee UwU by, fwiaw. :3 Fathew, ^.^ by x3 youw leave: 
Will xDD you with fwee ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ unconstwainyed :3 souw 
Give ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this >_< maid x3 youw daughter? 
Leon. ;;w;; As freely, x3 son, >_< as ^w^ God uWu did UwU give her x3 me. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD And >_> what uWu have UwU I to UwU give xDD you back x3 whose ^.^ wowth 
^-^ May counterpoise ÚwÚ this rich ÚwÚ and >_< pwecious >_< gift? 
Pedwo. UwU Nyothing, ^w^ unwess xDD you render her ;;w;; again. 
>_< Cwaud. ÚwÚ Sweet >_< Pwince, xDD you :3 weawn ;;w;; me x3 nyobwe thankfulness. 
There, Leonato, OwO take her back ;;w;; again. 
Give nyot ÚwÚ this wotten owange to x3 youw :3 fwiend. 
>_> She's >_> but x3 the xDD sign ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ sembwance of her honyouw. 
ÚwÚ Behowd >w< how ^.^ wike :3 a >_< maid ^.^ she blushes here! 
>_< O, >_> what ÚwÚ authowity ÚwÚ and x3 show of uWu twuth 
UwU Can x3 cunnying x3 sin UwU cuvw itsewf withaw! 
UwU Comes nyot :3 that :3 bwood >_< as :3 modest >_> evidence 
;;w;; To >_> witnyess :33 simpwe virtue, Wouwd xDD you nyot x3 sweaw, 
All xDD you :3 that >_> see hew, :3 that ^.^ she :3 wewe :3 a >_< maid 
^-^ By these exterior uWu shows? OwO But ^.^ she >_> is ^-^ nyonye: 
:33 She xDD knyows x3 the ^.^ heat of :3 a wuxuwious bed; 
:3 Hew bwush >_> is OwO guiwtinyess, nyot OwO modesty. 
Leon. >_> What UwU do xDD you mean, x3 my xDD wowd? 
>_< Cwaud. ÚwÚ Nyot to be >w< mawwied, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to >w< knyit x3 my :3 souw to >w< an appwuvd UwU wanton. 
Leon. >_< Deaw x3 my uWu wowd, >_> if UwU you, uWu in x3 youw UwU own uWu pwoof, 
:3 Have >_< vanquish'd x3 the resistance of her :33 youth 
xDD And UwU made :3 defeat of her viwginyity-- 
>_< Cwaud. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> what xDD you ^.^ wouwd :3 say. ;;w;; If UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ knyown hew, 
>_> You xDD wiww >_> say ^.^ she uWu did >_< embwace ;;w;; me >_< as :3 a ^.^ husband, 
xDD And UwU so extenyuate x3 the forehand >_< sin. 
:3 Nyo, Leonato, 
UwU I >_< nyevew tempted her with ;;w;; wowd ^w^ too wawge, 
But, >_< as :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew to :33 his ^-^ sistew, ^w^ show'd 
x3 Bashfuw ^w^ sincewity ÚwÚ and >_> comewy love. 
:3 Hewo. xDD And ^w^ seem'd UwU I OwO evew ^-^ othewwise to you? 
>_< Cwaud. UwU Out on x3 the >_> seeming! UwU I xDD wiww >w< wwite OwO against :3 it. 
>_> You xDD seem to ;;w;; me >_< as uWu Dian uWu in her orb, 
;;w;; As >w< chaste >_< as >_> is x3 the >w< bud ere >w< it be >_< bwown; 
OwO But xDD you OwO awe ^.^ mowe ^-^ intempewate uWu in x3 youw :3 bwood 
Than ^w^ Venyus, ow UwU those pamp'red animals 
:33 That xDD wage uWu in x3 savage ^-^ sensuawity. 
:3 Hewo. Is x3 my ;;w;; wowd weww :3 that ^.^ he xDD doth speak UwU so ;;w;; wide? 
Leon. ÚwÚ Sweet >_< Pwince, >w< why speak nyot you? 
Pedwo. >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I x3 speak? 
UwU I stand UwU dishonyouw'd :3 that uWu have >_> gonye about 
;;w;; To >_> wink x3 my uWu deaw :33 fwiend to :3 a ^w^ common ÚwÚ stawe. 
Leon. ^w^ Awe these ^.^ things spoken, ow UwU do UwU I >_> but ;;w;; dweam? 
OwO John. UwU Siw, ;;w;; they OwO awe spoken, ÚwÚ and these ^.^ things OwO awe true. 
Bene. This :33 wooks nyot ^.^ wike :3 a :33 nyuptiaw. 
:3 Hewo. OwO 'Twue!' x3 O uWu God! 
>_< Cwaud. Leonato, stand UwU I hewe? 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 the >_< Pwince, Is ÚwÚ this x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's bwothew? 
Is ÚwÚ this OwO face Hero's? ^w^ Awe UwU ouw eyes UwU ouw >w< own? 
Leon. All ÚwÚ this >_> is so; >_> but >_> what of uWu this, x3 my xDD wowd? 
>_< Cwaud. Let ;;w;; me >_> but move one ;;w;; question to x3 youw ^w^ daughtew, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 that x3 fathewwy ÚwÚ and ^-^ kindwy powew 
:33 That xDD you uWu have uWu in hew, bid her answew UwU twuwy. 
Leon. UwU I :3 chawge uWu thee UwU do >_> so, >_< as xDD thou awt x3 my :33 chiwd. 
:3 Hewo. >_< O, ^w^ God ;;w;; defend me! How ^w^ am UwU I >w< beset! 
>_> What uWu kind of >w< catechising caww xDD you :3 this? 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; To >_< make xDD you answew :33 twuwy to x3 youw nyame. 
:3 Hewo. Is >w< it nyot Hero? Who ^.^ can uWu bwot :3 that xDD nyame 
With xDD any >w< just reproach? 
>_< Cwaud. OwO Mawwy, :3 that ^.^ can :33 Hewo! 
^.^ Hewo itsewf ^.^ can uWu bwot x3 out Hero's ÚwÚ viwtue. 
>_> What x3 man UwU was ^.^ he ^w^ tawk'd with xDD you yestewnyight, 
UwU Out uWu at x3 youw window betwixt >_< twewve ÚwÚ and onye? 
>_> Nyow, >_> if xDD you OwO awe :3 a ;;w;; maid, answew to UwU this. 
:3 Hewo. UwU I ^w^ tawk'd with nyo x3 man uWu at :3 that ^-^ houw, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pedwo. Why, xDD then OwO awe xDD you nyo ^-^ maiden. Leonato, 
UwU I ^w^ am sowwy xDD you ^w^ must heaw. >_> Upon x3 my honyouw, 
Myself, x3 my brother, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this gwieved xDD Count 
Did >_> see hew, hear hew, uWu at :3 that >_> houw >w< wast >w< nyight 
Talk with :3 a ruffian uWu at her x3 chambew >_< window, 
Who hath :33 indeed, UwU most ^.^ wike :3 a xDD wibewaw villain, 
;;w;; Confess'd x3 the ^-^ viwe encounters ;;w;; they uWu have xDD had 
^-^ A thousand times uWu in ^.^ secwet. 
OwO John. OwO Fie, fie! ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot to be ^-^ nyam'd, x3 my ÚwÚ wowd-- 
ÚwÚ Nyot to be ^-^ spoke OwO of; 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyot >_> chastity, enough uWu in language 
Without offence to :33 uttew OwO them. Thus, OwO pwetty UwU wady, 
UwU I ^w^ am sowwy fow >w< thy much UwU misguvwnment. 
>_< Cwaud. x3 O :33 Hewo! >_> what :3 a ^.^ Hewo >w< hadst xDD thou :33 been 
;;w;; If half >w< thy :33 outwawd uWu gwaces xDD had :33 been pwac'd 
About >w< thy >_< thoughts ÚwÚ and uWu counsews of >w< thy :33 heawt! 
OwO But ^-^ fawe uWu thee weww, UwU most foul, UwU most :33 faiw! UwU Faweweww, 
^.^ Thou puwe OwO impiety ÚwÚ and OwO impious >w< puwity! 
For uWu thee I'll OwO wock x3 up aww x3 the :3 gates of xDD wuv, 
xDD And on x3 my >_> eyewids UwU shaww conjecture uWu hang, 
;;w;; To turn aww beauty x3 into >_< thoughts of >w< hawm, 
xDD And >_< nyevew UwU shaww >w< it ^.^ mowe be gracious. 
Leon. >_< Hath nyo :33 man's ÚwÚ daggew OwO hewe :3 a :33 point fow me? 
[Hero UwU swoons.] 
Beat. Why, >w< how now, cousin? ÚwÚ Whewefowe sink xDD you down? 
OwO John. :3 Come wet >_> us ÚwÚ go. ;;w;; These :3 things, come OwO thus to wight, 
Smothew her ;;w;; spiwits :33 up. 
UwU [Exeunt ^.^ Don >w< Pedwo, ^.^ Don OwO Juan, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Cwaudio.] 
Bene. How xDD doth x3 the x3 wady? 
Beat. ^.^ Dead, UwU I UwU think. Hewp, ^w^ uncwe! 
:33 Hewo! >w< why, :33 Hewo! Uncwe! :33 Signyiow >_< Benyedick! Fwiaw! 
Leon. x3 O Fate, OwO take nyot OwO away >w< thy x3 heavy xDD hand! 
>_> Death >_> is x3 the >_> faiwest UwU cuvw fow her ^-^ shame 
:33 That OwO may be >w< wish'd ;;w;; fow. 
Beat. How now, xDD cousin Hero? 
Fwiaw. :3 Have comfort, >_> wady. 
Leon. uWu Dost xDD thou wook uWu up? 
Fwiaw. Yea, ^-^ whewefowe >_> shouwd ^.^ she ^w^ nyot? 
Leon. Whewefowe? Why, xDD doth nyot every ÚwÚ eawthwy ^.^ thing 
Cwy ^-^ shame ;;w;; upon OwO hew? Could ^.^ she OwO hewe UwU deny 
uWu The ^-^ stowy :3 that >_> is UwU pwinted uWu in her >_< bwood? 
Do nyot x3 wive, :33 Hewo; UwU do nyot ^w^ ope ^.^ thinye eyes; 
For, uWu did UwU I think xDD thou wouldst nyot quickly >_> die, 
;;w;; Thought UwU I >w< thy ;;w;; spiwits :3 wewe stronger than >w< thy >_< shames, 
xDD Mysewf ^.^ wouwd on x3 the rearward of xDD wepwoaches 
OwO Stwike uWu at >w< thy life. >_< Gwiev'd I, UwU I xDD had >_> but onye? 
uWu Chiwd UwU I fow :3 that uWu at ÚwÚ fwugaw ;;w;; nyatuwe's ;;w;; fwame? 
>_< O, one ^w^ too much ^.^ by uWu thee! Why xDD had UwU I onye? 
Why OwO evew >w< wast xDD thou lovely uWu in x3 my uWu eyes? 
Why xDD had UwU I nyot with x3 chawitabwe uWu hand 
>w< Took x3 up :3 a ^.^ beggaw's x3 issue uWu at x3 my ^.^ gates, 
Who x3 smiwched OwO thus ÚwÚ and ;;w;; miw'd with infamy, 
UwU I ^w^ might uWu have said, x3 'Nyo ÚwÚ pawt of >w< it >_> is minye; 
This ^-^ shame x3 dewives itsewf from unknown loins'? 
OwO But >_> minye, ÚwÚ and >_< minye UwU I ;;w;; wov'd, ÚwÚ and >_< minye UwU I prais'd, 
xDD And >_< minye :3 that UwU I UwU was OwO pwoud on--mine UwU so much 
:33 That UwU I mysewf UwU was to mysewf nyot >_> minye, 
:3 Vawuing of her--why, uWu she, >_< O, ^.^ she >_> is fall'n 
^.^ Into :3 a pit of uWu ink, :3 that x3 the uWu wide sea 
>_< Hath ^.^ dwops ^w^ too x3 few to >_< wash her x3 cwean OwO again, 
xDD And ^-^ sawt ^w^ too xDD wittwe which OwO may >_< season UwU give 
;;w;; To her fouw xDD tainted uWu fwesh! 
Bene. UwU Siw, ^w^ siw, be uWu patient. 
For x3 my >_> pawt, UwU I ^w^ am UwU so attiw'd uWu in OwO wondew, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what to :3 say. 
Beat. >_< O, on x3 my x3 souw, x3 my xDD cousin >_> is xDD bewied! 
Bene. Lady, :3 wewe xDD you her bedfewwow >w< wast night? 
Beat. :3 Nyo, OwO twuwy, x3 nyot; awthough, ÚwÚ untiw >w< wast night, 
UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ this ;;w;; twewvemonth :33 been her bedfewwow 
Leon. x3 Confiwm'd, confirm'd! >_< O, :3 that >_> is stronger UwU made 
>_< Which UwU was >w< befowe baww'd x3 up with OwO wibs of >w< iwon! 
Wouwd x3 the >w< two pwinces wie? ÚwÚ and OwO Cwaudio wie, 
Who :3 wov'd her UwU so :3 that, speaking of her ^w^ fouwnyess, 
^w^ Wash'd >w< it with teaws? OwO Hence from >_> hew! wet her die. 
Fwiaw. >w< Heaw ;;w;; me :3 a UwU wittwe; 
For UwU I uWu have >w< onwy :33 been silent UwU so long, 
xDD And UwU given uWu way >w< unto ÚwÚ this course of fowtunye, 
^-^ By ^.^ nyoting of x3 the >_> wady. UwU I uWu have uWu mawk'd 
^-^ A thousand ;;w;; bwushing apparitions 
;;w;; To start x3 into her >w< face, :3 a thousand innocent UwU shames 
^w^ In ÚwÚ angew >w< whitenyess xDD beat OwO away UwU those bwushes, 
xDD And uWu in her ^w^ eye there hath appear'd :3 a fire 
;;w;; To buwn x3 the ^-^ ewwows :3 that these pwinces howd 
^w^ Against her >_< maiden truth. ;;w;; Caww ;;w;; me :3 a foow; 
Twust nyot x3 my weading nor x3 my ^.^ obsewvation, 
>_< Which with expewimentaw UwU seaw xDD doth :33 wawwant 
uWu The tenure of x3 my book; :33 twust nyot x3 my age, 
OwO My xDD wevewence, x3 cawwing, nor ;;w;; divinyity, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this x3 sweet uWu wady >_< wie nyot ;;w;; guiwtwess OwO hewe 
;;w;; Undew x3 some OwO biting OwO ewwow. 
Leon. uWu Fwiaw, >w< it ;;w;; cannyot >w< be. 
^.^ Thou seest :3 that aww x3 the xDD gwace :3 that ^.^ she hath left 
Is :3 that ^.^ she xDD wiww nyot >_< add to her uWu damnyation 
^-^ A x3 sin of uWu pewjuwy: ^.^ she nyot denyies :3 it. 
Why >_< seek'st xDD thou xDD then to UwU cuvw with UwU excuse 
:33 That which >_> appeaws uWu in OwO pwopew nakedness? 
Fwiaw. Lady, >_> what x3 man >_> is ^.^ he xDD you OwO awe ^-^ accus'd UwU of? 
:3 Hewo. ^-^ They ^.^ knyow :3 that UwU do ;;w;; accuse OwO me; UwU I ^.^ knyow none. 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ mowe of xDD any x3 man ^.^ awive 
Than :3 that which >_< maiden ÚwÚ modesty xDD doth warrant, 
Let aww x3 my :3 sins ^.^ wack mercy! x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
^-^ Pwuv xDD you :3 that xDD any x3 man with ;;w;; me convers'd 
At >_> houws >_> unmeet, ow :3 that UwU I yesternight 
uWu Maintain'd x3 the change of wowds with xDD any x3 cweatuwe, 
UwU Wefuse uWu me, ^-^ hate uWu me, towtuwe ;;w;; me to ;;w;; death! 
Fwiaw. >_> Thewe >_> is x3 some ;;w;; stwange UwU mispwision uWu in x3 the ;;w;; pwinces. 
Bene. Two of them uWu have x3 the xDD vewy UwU bent of honour; 
xDD And >_> if uWu theiw wisdoms be ;;w;; miswed uWu in uWu this, 
uWu The pwactice of >w< it ;;w;; wives uWu in John x3 the ÚwÚ bastawd, 
>_< Whose ;;w;; spiwits toiw uWu in fwame of >_> viwwanyies. 
Leon. UwU I ^.^ knyow not. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they speak >_> but uWu twuth of hew, 
;;w;; These ^.^ hands UwU shaww teaw her. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they wrong her honyouw, 
uWu The OwO pwoudest of them UwU shaww weww hear of :3 it. 
^-^ Time hath nyot yet UwU so dwied ÚwÚ this :3 bwood of >_> minye, 
x3 Nyow age UwU so eat x3 up x3 my invention, 
x3 Nyow :3 fowtunye UwU made xDD such havoc of x3 my >_< means, 
x3 Nyow x3 my :33 bad >w< wife weft ;;w;; me UwU so much of OwO fwiends, 
OwO But ;;w;; they UwU shaww find :33 awak'd uWu in xDD such :3 a uWu kind 
UwU Both ÚwÚ stwength of x3 wimb ÚwÚ and UwU powicy of UwU mind, 
Abiwity uWu in >_< means, ÚwÚ and UwU choice of OwO fwiends, 
;;w;; To ^.^ quit ;;w;; me of them OwO thwoughwy. 
Fwiaw. >_> Pause ^-^ awhiwe 
xDD And wet x3 my counsel xDD sway xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this :3 case. 
uWu Youw daughter OwO hewe x3 the pwinces left fow >_< dead, 
Let her ^-^ awhiwe be secwetwy :33 kept x3 in, 
xDD And xDD pubwish >w< it :3 that ^.^ she >_> is >_< dead :33 indeed; 
xDD Maintain :3 a >w< mouwnying >_> ostentation, 
xDD And on x3 youw family's ;;w;; owd ;;w;; monyument 
Hang ^-^ mouwnfuw epitaphs, ÚwÚ and UwU do aww rites 
:33 That >_< appewtain >w< unto :3 a OwO buwiaw. 
Leon. >_> What UwU shaww :33 become of :3 this? >_> What xDD wiww ÚwÚ this ^-^ do? 
Fwiaw. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ this weww cawwied UwU shaww on her behawf 
Change ^-^ swandew to :33 wemowse. :33 That >_> is x3 some UwU good. 
OwO But nyot fow :3 that dweam UwU I on ÚwÚ this ;;w;; stwange course, 
OwO But on ÚwÚ this :3 twavaiw wook fow :33 gweatew xDD biwth. 
:33 She ÚwÚ dying, >_< as >w< it ^w^ must be UwU so :3 maintain'd, 
>_> Upon x3 the x3 instant :3 that ^.^ she UwU was xDD accus'd, 
Shall be ÚwÚ wamented, >_< pitied, ÚwÚ and excus'd 
Of every hearer; fow >w< it UwU so ^w^ fawws x3 out 
:33 That >_> what ^.^ we uWu have ^.^ we >w< pwize nyot to x3 the ^.^ wowth 
Whiwes ^.^ we ^.^ enjoy :33 it, >_> but ^.^ being wack'd ÚwÚ and :3 wost, 
Why, xDD then ^.^ we ^.^ wack x3 the >w< vawue, xDD then ^.^ we find 
uWu The viwtue :3 that >w< possession ^.^ wouwd nyot x3 show >_> us 
Whiwes >w< it UwU was >_> ouws. ^w^ So xDD wiww >w< it ^-^ fawe with ^-^ Cwaudio. 
x3 When ^.^ he UwU shaww hear ^.^ she >w< died ;;w;; upon :33 his wowds, 
xDD Th' >w< idea of her >w< wife UwU shaww sweetly :3 cweep 
^.^ Into :33 his ^-^ study of >_< imaginyation, 
xDD And every lovely UwU owgan of her >w< wife 
Shall come apparell'd uWu in ^.^ mowe >_< pwecious habit, 
uWu Mowe ^.^ moving, >_> dewicate, ÚwÚ and full of :3 wife, 
^.^ Into x3 the ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and pwospect of :33 his :3 souw 
Than when ^.^ she liv'd indeed. UwU Then UwU shaww ^.^ he mouwn 
:33 (If OwO evew wuv xDD had ÚwÚ intewest uWu in :33 his UwU wivew) 
xDD And ÚwÚ wish ^.^ he xDD had nyot UwU so accused her-- 
:3 Nyo, ^w^ though be xDD thought :33 his :33 accusation true. 
Let ÚwÚ this be >_> so, ÚwÚ and doubt nyot >_> but >w< success 
Will fashion x3 the event uWu in xDD bettew xDD shape 
Than UwU I ^.^ can uWu way >w< it down uWu in likelihood. 
OwO But >_> if aww aim >_> but ÚwÚ this be levell'd :3 fawse, 
uWu The supposition of x3 the >_> wady's :33 death 
Will quench x3 the wonder of her xDD infamy. 
xDD And >_> if >w< it ;;w;; sowt nyot weww, xDD you OwO may :33 conceaw hew, 
;;w;; As best befits her wounded weputation, 
^w^ In x3 some ^.^ wecwusive ÚwÚ and religious :3 wife, 
UwU Out of aww ^w^ eyes, tongues, x3 minds, ÚwÚ and ^-^ injuwies. 
Bene. :33 Signyiow Leonato, wet x3 the >w< fwiaw ;;w;; advise uWu you; 
xDD And ^w^ though xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 my ;;w;; inwawdnyess ÚwÚ and wuv 
Is xDD vewy much >w< unto x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and Claudio, 
Yet, ^.^ by >_< minye honyouw, UwU I xDD wiww deal uWu in ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; As secwetwy ÚwÚ and >_< justwy >_< as x3 youw :3 souw 
Should with x3 youw body. 
Leon. uWu Being :3 that UwU I fwow uWu in gwief, 
uWu The xDD smawwest twinye OwO may lead x3 me. 
Fwiaw. 'Tis weww ^w^ consented. Pwesentwy :3 away; 
For to ;;w;; stwange x3 sowes OwO stwangewy ;;w;; they ;;w;; stwain x3 the x3 cuwe. 
^.^ Come, UwU wady, ^-^ die to wive. This ÚwÚ wedding day 
:3 Pewhaps >_> is >_> but ÚwÚ pwowong'd. :3 Have uWu patience ÚwÚ and enduwe. 
Exeunt [all >_> but Benyedick ÚwÚ and uWu Beatwice]. 
Bene. xDD Wady xDD Beatwice, uWu have xDD you :33 wept aww ÚwÚ this x3 whiwe? 
Beat. Yea, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww xDD weep :3 a OwO whiwe wongew. 
Bene. UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^.^ desiwe x3 that. 
Beat. >_> You uWu have nyo reason. UwU I UwU do >w< it x3 fweewy. 
Bene. :3 Suwewy UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve x3 youw >w< faiw xDD cousin >_> is wronged. 
Beat. xDD Ah, >w< how much ^w^ might x3 the x3 man OwO desewve of ;;w;; me :3 that ^.^ wouwd >w< wight 
>_> hew! 
Bene. Is there xDD any uWu way to x3 show xDD such >_> fwiendship? 
Beat. ^-^ A xDD vewy even :3 way, >_> but nyo xDD such :3 fwiend. 
Bene. ^-^ May :3 a x3 man UwU do :33 it? 
Beat. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a :33 man's office, >_> but nyot x3 youws. 
Bene. UwU I UwU do wuv >_< nyothing uWu in x3 the wowwd UwU so weww >_< as OwO you. Is nyot :3 that 
>w< stwange? 
Beat. ;;w;; As ;;w;; stwange >_< as x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I ^.^ knyow not. ^.^ It :3 wewe >_< as OwO possibwe fow 
;;w;; me to >_> say UwU I xDD wuvd >_< nyothing UwU so weww >_< as OwO you. OwO But ^-^ bewieve ;;w;; me x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and 
yet UwU I >_< wie not. UwU I x3 confess uWu nyothing, nor UwU I UwU deny OwO nyothing. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy 
fow x3 my :33 cousin. 
Bene. ^-^ By x3 my uWu swowd, xDD Beatwice, xDD thou wuvst x3 me. 
Beat. Do nyot x3 sweaw, ÚwÚ and eat :3 it. 
Bene. UwU I xDD wiww >_< sweaw ^.^ by >w< it :3 that xDD you wuv uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww >_< make ^.^ him eat 
>w< it :3 that ;;w;; says UwU I wuv nyot OwO you. 
Beat. Will xDD you nyot eat x3 youw word? 
Bene. With nyo UwU sauce :3 that ^.^ can be >w< devised to :3 it. UwU I ^w^ pwotest UwU I wuv 
thee. 
Beat. Why >w< then, ^w^ God :33 fowgive me! 
Bene. >_> What ^-^ offence, x3 sweet ^w^ Beatwice? 
Beat. >_> You uWu have ^.^ stayed ;;w;; me uWu in :3 a ^w^ happy hour. UwU I UwU was about to ^w^ pwotest UwU I 
xDD wuvd OwO you. 
Bene. xDD And UwU do >w< it with aww >w< thy ;;w;; heawt. 
Beat. UwU I wuv xDD you with UwU so much of x3 my >_< heawt :3 that >_< nyonye >_> is left to 
pwotest. 
Bene. ^.^ Come, bid ;;w;; me UwU do ;;w;; anything fow thee. 
Beat. ÚwÚ Kiww ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Bene. uWu Ha! nyot fow x3 the uWu wide ;;w;; wowwd! 
Beat. >_> You OwO kiww ;;w;; me to UwU deny :3 it. uWu Faweweww. 
Bene. ;;w;; Tawwy, x3 sweet >_> Beatwice. 
Beat. UwU I ^w^ am >w< gonye, ^w^ though UwU I ^w^ am hewe. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo wuv uWu in OwO you. Nyay, UwU I 
pray xDD you wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ go. 
Bene. Beatwice-- 
Beat. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. 
Bene. ^-^ We'ww be ^w^ fwiends fiwst. 
Beat. >_> You dawe xDD easiew be ^w^ fwiends with ;;w;; me than >w< fight with >_< minye 
enemy. 
Bene. Is OwO Cwaudio ^.^ thinye enyemy? 
Beat. Is xDD 'a nyot appwuvd uWu in x3 the height :3 a villain, :3 that hath 
;;w;; swandewed, :33 scownyed, ^-^ dishonyouwed x3 my kinswoman? x3 O :3 that UwU I :3 wewe :3 a 
;;w;; man! What? UwU beaw her uWu in uWu hand ÚwÚ untiw ;;w;; they come to OwO take ^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and 
xDD then with public uWu accusation, uncover'd slander, UwU unmitigated 
OwO wancouw--O :33 God, :3 that UwU I :3 wewe :3 a ;;w;; man! UwU I ^.^ wouwd eat :33 his >_< heawt uWu in x3 the 
xDD mawket ;;w;; pwace. 
Bene. >w< Heaw uWu me, >_< Beatwice! 
Beat. Talk with :3 a x3 man x3 out uWu at :3 a x3 window!-a OwO pwopew x3 saying! 
Bene. Nyay >_> but Beatwice-- 
Beat. ÚwÚ Sweet :33 Hewo! ^.^ she >_> is wrong'd, ^.^ she >_> is sland'red, ^.^ she >_> is >_< undonye. 
Bene. ;;w;; Beat-- 
Beat. Princes ÚwÚ and OwO Counties! :3 Suwewy :3 a princely testimony, :3 a xDD goodwy 
ÚwÚ count, xDD Count x3 Comfect, :3 a x3 sweet OwO gawwant ^-^ suwewy! x3 O :3 that UwU I :3 wewe :3 a x3 man 
fow :33 his uWu sake! ow :3 that UwU I xDD had xDD any :33 fwiend ^.^ wouwd be :3 a x3 man fow x3 my 
uWu sake! OwO But manhood >_> is mewted x3 into ÚwÚ cuwsies, valour x3 into uWu compwiment, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men OwO awe >w< onwy >_> tuwn'd x3 into ;;w;; tongue, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twim ^-^ onyes UwU too. >w< He >_> is nyow 
>_< as uWu vawiant >_< as Hercules :3 that >w< onwy uWu tewws :3 a >w< wie,and ÚwÚ sweaws :3 it. UwU I 
;;w;; cannyot be :3 a x3 man with >_< wishing; >_< thewefowe UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ die :3 a OwO woman with 
:33 gwieving. 
Bene. ;;w;; Tawwy, ÚwÚ good >_> Beatwice. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu hand, UwU I wuv thee. 
Beat. ^w^ Use >w< it fow x3 my wuv x3 some othew uWu way than swearing ^.^ by :3 it. 
Bene. ^w^ Think xDD you uWu in x3 youw :3 souw x3 the xDD Count OwO Cwaudio hath wrong'd Hero? 
Beat. Yea, >_< as >_< suwe >_> is UwU I uWu have :3 a xDD thought ow :3 a ^-^ souw. 
Bene. ;;w;; Enyough, UwU I ^w^ am :3 engag'd, UwU I xDD wiww challenge ^.^ him. UwU I xDD wiww :3 kiss x3 youw 
uWu hand, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I OwO weave OwO you. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu hand, OwO Cwaudio UwU shaww render ;;w;; me :3 a 
uWu deaw OwO account. ;;w;; As xDD you hear of uWu me, UwU so think of x3 me. Go uWu comfowt x3 youw 
:33 cousin. UwU I ^w^ must >_> say ^.^ she >_> is dead-and UwU so farewell. 
[Exeunt.] 




Scene UwU II. 
^-^ A x3 pwison. 

Entew x3 the UwU Constabwes [Dogbewwy ÚwÚ and ^.^ Vewges] ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu Sexton, uWu in uWu gowns, 
[and x3 the uWu Watch, with Conrade uWu and] Borachio. 

^w^ Dog. Is UwU ouw whole dissembly >_> appeaw'd? 
>_> Vewg. >_< O, :3 a :33 stoow ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> cushion fow x3 the UwU sexton. 
:33 Sex. >_< Which be x3 the xDD mawefactows? 
^w^ Dog. OwO Mawwy, :3 that ^w^ am UwU I ÚwÚ and x3 my partner. 
>_> Vewg. Nyay, ^w^ that's cewtain. We uWu have x3 the >_> exhibition to x3 examinye. 
:33 Sex. OwO But which OwO awe x3 the offenders :3 that OwO awe to be examinyed? wet them 
come >w< befowe >_< Mastew Constable. 
^w^ Dog. Yea, marry, wet them come >w< befowe x3 me. >_> What >_> is x3 youw :33 nyame, 
>w< fwiend? 
Bor. Borachio. 
^w^ Dog. >_> Pway >w< wwite down Borachio. OwO Youws, ÚwÚ siwwah? 
x3 Con. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a gentweman, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD nyame >_> is ;;w;; Conwade. 
^w^ Dog. :3 Wwite down >_< Mastew Gentweman ;;w;; Conwade. Masters, UwU do xDD you serve 
;;w;; God? 
;;w;; Both. Yea, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we ^-^ hope. 
^w^ Dog. :3 Wwite down :3 that ;;w;; they UwU hope ;;w;; they serve x3 God; ÚwÚ and >w< wwite ^w^ God ÚwÚ fiwst, 
fow ^w^ God ;;w;; defend >_> but ^w^ God >_> shouwd OwO go >w< befowe xDD such viwwains! Masters, 
>w< it >_> is >_> pwuvd xDD awweady :3 that xDD you OwO awe xDD wittwe xDD bettew than UwU fawse 
knaves, ÚwÚ and >w< it xDD wiww OwO go nyeaw to be xDD thought UwU so >w< showtwy. How answew 
xDD you fow >w< youwsewves? 
x3 Con. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we >_> say ^.^ we OwO awe none. 
^w^ Dog. ^-^ A marvellous ^.^ witty fewwow, UwU I :33 assuwe uWu you; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww OwO go about 
with ^.^ him. :3 Come xDD you hithew, sirrah. ^-^ A ;;w;; wowd uWu in x3 youw :3 eaw. UwU Siw, UwU I >_> say 
to UwU you, >w< it >_> is xDD thought xDD you OwO awe UwU fawse >_> knyaves. 
>_> Bowa. UwU Siw, UwU I >_> say to xDD you ^.^ we OwO awe none. 
^w^ Dog. xDD Weww, stand xDD aside. ^-^ Fowe :33 God, ;;w;; they OwO awe both uWu in :3 a ^-^ tawe. 
:3 Have xDD you ^-^ wwit down :3 that ;;w;; they OwO awe none? 
:33 Sex. >_< Mastew ^-^ Constabwe, xDD you OwO go nyot x3 the uWu way to x3 examinye. >_> You ^w^ must caww 
fowth x3 the ;;w;; watch :3 that OwO awe uWu theiw accusers. 
^w^ Dog. Yea, marry, ^w^ that's x3 the eftest >_> way. Let x3 the ;;w;; watch come forth. 
Masters, UwU I :3 chawge xDD you uWu in x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's xDD nyame ;;w;; accuse these ^.^ men. 
:3 1. ÚwÚ Watch. This x3 man said, ^w^ siw, :3 that ^.^ Don John x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's ÚwÚ bwothew 
UwU was :3 a villain. 
^w^ Dog. :3 Wwite down Prince John :3 a villain. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is flat >_< pewjuwy, 
to caww :3 a UwU pwince's ÚwÚ bwothew villain. 
>_> Bowa. >_< Mastew ^w^ Constabwe-- 
^w^ Dog. >_> Pway ÚwÚ thee, fewwow, peace. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike >w< thy look, UwU I promise 
thee. 
:33 Sex. >_> What heard xDD you ^.^ him >_> say else? 
uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. OwO Mawwy, :3 that ^.^ he xDD had uWu weceived :3 a thousand ;;w;; ducats of ^.^ Don John 
fow accusing x3 the xDD Wady ^.^ Hewo xDD wwongfuwwy. 
^w^ Dog. ^.^ Fwat >_< buwgwawy >_< as OwO evew UwU was :33 committed. 
>_> Vewg. Yea, ^.^ by x3 th' UwU mass, :3 that >w< it >w< is. 
:33 Sex. >_> What else, fewwow? 
:3 1. ÚwÚ Watch. xDD And :3 that xDD Count OwO Cwaudio uWu did mean, ;;w;; upon :33 his wowds, to 
xDD disgwace ^.^ Hewo >w< befowe x3 the whole ;;w;; assembwy, ÚwÚ and nyot marry her. 
^w^ Dog. x3 O :33 viwwain! xDD thou wiwt be condemn'd x3 into everlasting wedemption 
fow UwU this. 
:33 Sex. >_> What else? 
Watchmen. This >_> is all. 
:33 Sex. xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is >_> mowe, mastews, than xDD you ^.^ can deny. Prince John >_> is 
ÚwÚ this mownying secwetwy :3 stow'n xDD away. ^.^ Hewo UwU was uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ mannyew 
xDD accus'd, uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ mannyew ÚwÚ wefus'd, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; upon x3 the grief of ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; suddenwy ÚwÚ died. >_< Mastew ^-^ Constabwe, wet these ;;w;; men be bound ÚwÚ and 
^.^ bwought to ^-^ Weonyato's. UwU I xDD wiww OwO go >w< befowe ÚwÚ and x3 show ^.^ him uWu theiw 
;;w;; examinyation. ^-^ [Exit.] 
^w^ Dog. ^.^ Come, wet them be ^-^ opinyion'd. 
>_> Vewg. Let them be uWu in x3 the hands-- 
x3 Con. Off, UwU coxcomb! 
^w^ Dog. >_> God's x3 my :3 wife, where's x3 the OwO sexton? Let ^.^ him >w< wwite down x3 the 
;;w;; Pwince's officer ^.^ coxcomb. ^.^ Come, bind uWu them.--Thou naughty OwO vawwet! 
x3 Con. >_> Away! xDD you OwO awe >w< an ass, xDD you OwO awe >w< an ass. 
^w^ Dog. uWu Dost xDD thou nyot >_> suspect x3 my :3 pwace? uWu Dost xDD thou nyot >_> suspect x3 my 
years? x3 O :3 that ^.^ he :3 wewe OwO hewe to >w< wwite ;;w;; me down >w< an ^w^ ass! But, mastews, 
remember :3 that UwU I ^w^ am >w< an ass. ;;w;; Though >w< it be nyot ÚwÚ wwitten ;;w;; down, yet 
x3 fowget nyot :3 that UwU I ^w^ am >w< an ass. :3 Nyo, xDD thou villain, xDD thou awt full of 
piety, >_< as UwU shaww be ^.^ pwov'd ;;w;; upon uWu thee ^.^ by ÚwÚ good witness. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a uWu wise 
fellow; ÚwÚ and which >_> is >_> mowe, >w< an >w< officew; ÚwÚ and which >_> is >_> mowe, :3 a 
^-^ househowdew; ÚwÚ and which >_> is >_> mowe, >_< as OwO pwetty :3 a ^.^ piece of >w< fwesh >_< as xDD any 
>_> is uWu in ÚwÚ Messinya, ÚwÚ and one :3 that xDD knyows x3 the waw, OwO go ÚwÚ to! ÚwÚ and :3 a rich 
fewwow UwU enyough, OwO go ÚwÚ to! ÚwÚ and :3 a fewwow :3 that hath xDD had ^.^ wosses; ÚwÚ and one 
:3 that hath >w< two ^.^ gowns ÚwÚ and evewything handsome about ^.^ him. Bring ^.^ him 
xDD away. x3 O :3 that UwU I xDD had :33 been ^-^ wwit down >w< an ^w^ ass! 
:33 Exeunt. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. Scene ^.^ I. 
uWu The stweet, nyeaw Weonyato's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew Weonyato ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew :3 [ xDD Antonyio]. 

Ant. ;;w;; If xDD you OwO go on thus, xDD you xDD wiww OwO kiww yourself, 
xDD And UwU 'tis nyot ^.^ wisdom OwO thus to second grief 
^w^ Against OwO youwsewf. 
Leon. UwU I pray uWu thee xDD cease >w< thy counsew, 
>_< Which ^w^ fawws x3 into >_< minye OwO eaws >_< as :33 pwofitwess 
;;w;; As UwU watew uWu in :3 a ^-^ sieve. Give nyot ;;w;; me counsew, 
x3 Nyow wet nyo comforter delight >_< minye ear 
OwO But xDD such :3 a one x3 whose >_< wwongs UwU do >_> suit with ^w^ minye. 
Bring ;;w;; me :3 a >w< fathew :3 that UwU so :3 wov'd :33 his child, 
>_< Whose joy of her >_> is overwhelm'd ^.^ wike >_> minye, 
xDD And bid ^.^ him speak to ;;w;; me of OwO patience. 
Measure :33 his woe x3 the :33 wength ÚwÚ and bweadth of >_> minye, 
xDD And wet >w< it answew every ;;w;; stwain fow :33 stwain, 
;;w;; As OwO thus fow thus, ÚwÚ and xDD such :3 a grief fow xDD such, 
^w^ In every winyeament, branch, UwU shape, ÚwÚ and fowm. 
;;w;; If xDD such :3 a one xDD wiww ;;w;; smiwe ÚwÚ and ^w^ stwoke :33 his UwU beawd, 
x3 Bid sorrow wag, cwy ÚwÚ 'hem' when ^.^ he >_> shouwd gwoan, 
Patch grief with pwuvwbs, >_< make OwO misfowtunye UwU dwunk 
With xDD candwe-wastews--bwing ^.^ him yet to uWu me, 
xDD And UwU I of ^.^ him xDD wiww gathew OwO patience. 
OwO But there >_> is nyo xDD such xDD man; for, brother, ;;w;; men 
UwU Can counsel ÚwÚ and speak uWu comfowt to :3 that grief 
>_< Which ;;w;; they x3 themsewves nyot feel; but, :3 tasting :33 it, 
^-^ Theiw counsel tuwns to ^-^ passion, which >w< befowe 
Wouwd UwU give pweceptiaw medicinye to rage, 
OwO Fettew >w< stwong ^-^ madnyess uWu in :3 a siwken ^w^ thwead, 
^-^ Chawm ache with ^w^ aiw ÚwÚ and agony with ÚwÚ wowds. 
:3 Nyo, no! 'Tis aww men's ^.^ office to speak uWu patience 
;;w;; To UwU those :3 that wring :33 undew x3 the woad of >_> sowwow, 
OwO But nyo :33 man's viwtue nor xDD sufficiency 
;;w;; To be UwU so :3 mowaw when ^.^ he UwU shaww OwO enduwe 
uWu The ^.^ wike himself. Therefore UwU give ;;w;; me nyo :3 counsew. 
OwO My griefs cwy :33 woudew than :33 advewtisement. 
Ant. OwO Thewein UwU do ;;w;; men from x3 chiwdwen >_< nyothing ^-^ diffew. 
Leon. UwU I pray uWu thee peace. UwU I xDD wiww be >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and ^-^ bwood; 
For there UwU was >_< nyevew yet x3 phiwosophew 
:33 That couwd OwO enduwe x3 the UwU toothache patientwy, 
UwU Howevew ;;w;; they uWu have ^-^ wwit x3 the >_> stywe of gods 
xDD And UwU made :3 a :3 push uWu at chance ÚwÚ and sufferance. 
Ant. ÚwÚ Yet >w< bend nyot aww x3 the x3 hawm ;;w;; upon OwO youwsewf. 
^-^ Make UwU those :3 that UwU do ^-^ offend xDD you suffew UwU too. 
Leon. >_> Thewe xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st reason. Nyay, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do :3 so. 
OwO My :3 souw xDD doth tell ;;w;; me ^.^ Hewo >_> is belied; 
xDD And :3 that UwU shaww OwO Cwaudio know; UwU so UwU shaww x3 the >_< Pwince, 
xDD And aww of them :3 that OwO thus x3 dishonyouw her. 

Entew ^.^ Don ;;w;; Pedwo ÚwÚ and ^-^ Cwaudio. 

Ant. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and OwO Cwaudio ;;w;; hastiwy. 
Pedwo. ^-^ Good ^.^ den, ^-^ Good >_> den. 
>_< Cwaud. ^-^ Good day to both of OwO you. 
Leon. >w< Heaw UwU you, x3 my lords! 
Pedwo. We uWu have x3 some xDD haste, :33 Weonyato. 
Leon. ;;w;; Some xDD haste, x3 my ^.^ wowd! weww, ^-^ fawe xDD you weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ Awe xDD you UwU so >_> hasty ^.^ nyow? xDD Weww, aww >_> is onye. 
Pedwo. Nyay, UwU do nyot ^-^ quawwew with us, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd man. 
Ant. ;;w;; If ^.^ he couwd >w< wight >_< himsewf with ^-^ quawwewwing, 
;;w;; Some of >_> us ^.^ wouwd >_< wie wow. 
>_< Cwaud. Who >_< wwongs him? 
Leon. OwO Mawwy, xDD thou dost wrong uWu me, xDD thou dissembler, ^w^ thou! 
Nyay, >_< nyevew uWu way >w< thy uWu hand ;;w;; upon >w< thy ^-^ swowd; 
UwU I feaw uWu thee not. 
>_< Cwaud. Mawy, :3 beshwew x3 my uWu hand 
;;w;; If >w< it >_> shouwd UwU give x3 youw age xDD such cause of ;;w;; feaw. 
^w^ In ^w^ faith, x3 my uWu hand meant >_< nyothing to x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
Leon. Tush, >_< tush, ;;w;; man! >_< nyevew ÚwÚ fweew ÚwÚ and xDD jest uWu at ;;w;; me 
UwU I speak nyot ^.^ wike :3 a >_< dotawd nor :3 a x3 foow, 
;;w;; As :33 undew OwO pwiviwege of age to bwag 
>_> What UwU I uWu have donye ^.^ being >_> young, ow >_> what ^.^ wouwd UwU do, 
^.^ Wewe UwU I nyot ^-^ owd. Knyow, Claudio, to >w< thy head, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast UwU so wrong'd >_< minye innocent chiwd ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; fowc'd to uWu way x3 my ^w^ wevewence ^.^ by 
^.^ And, with ^w^ gwey >_< haiws ÚwÚ and bwuise of UwU many uWu days, 
Do challenge uWu thee to uWu twiaw of :3 a man. 
UwU I >_> say xDD thou x3 hast belied >_< minye innocent child; 
x3 Thy ^-^ swandew hath >_> gonye ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ and ^w^ thwough her uWu heawt, 
xDD And ^.^ she lied buried with her ancestors- 
>_< O, uWu in :3 a tomb :3 whewe >_< nyevew OwO scandaw swept, 
:3 Save ÚwÚ this of ÚwÚ hews, >w< fwam'd ^.^ by >w< thy >_< viwwany! 
>_< Cwaud. OwO My villany? 
Leon. Thinye, ^w^ Cwaudio; ^.^ thinye UwU I :3 say. 
Pedwo. >_> You >_> say nyot wight, ;;w;; owd x3 man 
Leon. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my uWu wowd, 
I'll ^-^ pwuv >w< it on :33 his >w< body >_> if ^.^ he x3 dawe, 
^-^ Despite :33 his UwU nyice ;;w;; fence ÚwÚ and :33 his OwO active ^-^ pwactice, 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ May of :33 youth ÚwÚ and bloom of ^.^ wustihood. 
>_< Cwaud. >_> Away! UwU I xDD wiww nyot uWu have to UwU do with OwO you. 
Leon. ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou UwU so ^w^ daff me? ^.^ Thou x3 hast kill'd x3 my :33 chiwd. 
;;w;; If xDD thou ^-^ kiww'st uWu me, ^-^ boy, xDD thou shalt OwO kiww :3 a man. 
:3 And. >w< He UwU shaww OwO kiww >w< two of us, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men ÚwÚ indeed 
OwO But ^w^ that's nyo mattew; wet ^.^ him OwO kiww one fiwst. 
Win ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and ^-^ weaw me! Let ^.^ him answew x3 me. 
^.^ Come, ;;w;; fowwow uWu me, >w< boy,. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw ^-^ boy, come ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. 
Sir ^-^ boy, I'll whip xDD you from x3 youw foining UwU fence! 
Nyay, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a gentweman, UwU I :33 wiww. 
Leon. ^.^ Bwothew-- 
Ant. ^.^ Content OwO youwsewf. ^w^ God xDD knyows UwU I :3 wov'd x3 my UwU nyiece, 
xDD And ^.^ she >_> is >_< dead, UwU swandew'd to :33 death ^.^ by >_> viwwains, 
:33 That dawe >_< as weww answew :3 a x3 man ÚwÚ indeed 
;;w;; As UwU I dawe OwO take :3 a serpent ^.^ by x3 the :33 tongue. 
:3 Boys, ÚwÚ apes, bwaggawts, jacks, miwksops! 
Leon. ^-^ Bwothew Anthony-- 
Ant. :33 Howd xDD you OwO content. What, ;;w;; man! UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ them, >w< yea, 
xDD And >_> what ;;w;; they >_< weigh, even to x3 the utmost :3 scwupwe, 
Scambwing, outfacing, :3 fashion-monging boys, 
:33 That >_< wie ÚwÚ and :3 cog ÚwÚ and flout, UwU depwave ÚwÚ and slander, 
Go ;;w;; anticwy, x3 show :33 outwawd >_> hideousnyess, 
xDD And speak x3 off half :3 a ^.^ dozen ÚwÚ dang'wous wowds, 
How ;;w;; they ^w^ might ÚwÚ huwt uWu theiw UwU enyemies, >_> if ;;w;; they durst; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is all. 
Leon. But, ÚwÚ bwothew Anthony-- 
Ant. ^.^ Come, UwU 'tis nyo :3 mattew. 
Do nyot xDD you >_> meddwe; wet ;;w;; me deal uWu in UwU this. 
Pedwo. ^.^ Gentwemen xDD both, ^.^ we xDD wiww nyot wake x3 youw OwO patience. 
OwO My >_< heawt >_> is sowwy fow x3 youw ^w^ daughtew's ÚwÚ death; 
But, on x3 my honyouw, ^.^ she UwU was :3 chawg'd with >_< nyothing 
OwO But >_> what UwU was ^-^ twue, ÚwÚ and xDD vewy full of :33 pwoof. 
Leon. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my ÚwÚ wowd-- 
Pedwo. UwU I xDD wiww nyot hear OwO you. 
Leon. uWu Nyo? ^.^ Come, brother, uWu away!--I xDD wiww be heawd. 
Ant. xDD And UwU shaww, ow x3 some of >_> us xDD wiww ^-^ smawt fow :3 it. 
Exeunt ambo. 

Entew Benedick. 

Pedwo. :3 See, uWu see! :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the x3 man ^.^ we OwO went to seek. 
>_< Cwaud. >_> Nyow, signior, >_> what nyews? 
Bene. ^-^ Good ^-^ day, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pedwo. Welcome, ;;w;; signyiow. >_> You OwO awe almost come to ÚwÚ pawt almost :3 a fray. 
>_< Cwaud. We xDD had ^-^ wik'd to uWu have xDD had UwU ouw >w< two :33 nyoses snapp'd x3 off with >w< two 
;;w;; owd ;;w;; men ^-^ without teeth. 
Pedwo. Weonyato ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ bwothew. >_> What think'st thou? xDD Had ^.^ we :33 fought, 
UwU I doubt ^.^ we >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been ^w^ too xDD young fow OwO them. 
Bene. ^w^ In :3 a UwU fawse ^-^ quawwew there >_> is nyo true ;;w;; vawouw. UwU I ^-^ came to >_> seek 
xDD you xDD both. 
>_< Cwaud. We uWu have :33 been x3 up ÚwÚ and down to >_> seek ÚwÚ thee; fow ^.^ we OwO awe >w< high-pwoof 
UwU mewanchowy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu have >w< it beaten xDD away. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou use >w< thy 
^-^ wit? 
Bene. ^.^ It >_> is uWu in x3 my :33 scabbawd. Shall UwU I dwaw :33 it? 
Pedwo. uWu Dost xDD thou ^-^ weaw >w< thy wit ^.^ by >w< thy ^-^ side? 
>_< Cwaud. xDD Nyevew xDD any uWu did >_> so, ^w^ though xDD vewy UwU many uWu have :33 been :3 beside uWu theiw 
>_< wit. UwU I xDD wiww bid uWu thee dwaw, >_< as ^.^ we UwU do x3 the ^-^ minstwew--dwaw to 
:3 pweasuwe >_> us. 
Pedwo. ;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am >w< an xDD honyest ^w^ man, ^.^ he :33 wooks xDD pawe. Awt xDD thou >w< sick ow 
^.^ angwy? 
>_< Cwaud. What, couwage, ;;w;; man! >_> What ^w^ though :3 cawe kill'd :3 a cat, xDD thou x3 hast 
mettle enough uWu in uWu thee to OwO kiww >w< cawe. 
Bene. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU shaww :3 meet x3 youw wit uWu in x3 the caweew >w< an xDD you :3 chawge >w< it 
OwO against x3 me. UwU I pray xDD you choose anyothew xDD subject. 
>_< Cwaud. Nyay >w< then, UwU give ^.^ him anyothew staff; ÚwÚ this >w< wast UwU was broke cross. 
Pedwo. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this wight, ^.^ he :33 changes ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and more. UwU I think ^.^ he be angry 
indeed. 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be, ^.^ he xDD knyows >w< how to turn :33 his OwO giwdwe. 
Bene. Shall UwU I speak :3 a ;;w;; wowd uWu in x3 youw ear? 
>_< Cwaud. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess ;;w;; me from :3 a xDD chawwenge! 
Bene. ÚwÚ [aside to :3 Cwaudio] >_> You OwO awe :3 a villain. UwU I xDD jest x3 nyot; UwU I xDD wiww >_< make 
>w< it ÚwÚ good >w< how xDD you x3 dawe, with >_> what xDD you x3 dawe, ÚwÚ and when xDD you OwO dawe. Do 
;;w;; me wight, ow UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ pwotest x3 youw >_> cowawdice. >_> You uWu have kill'd :3 a 
x3 sweet UwU wady, ÚwÚ and her :33 death UwU shaww faww x3 heavy on OwO you. Let ;;w;; me hear 
from OwO you. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww :3 meet UwU you, UwU so UwU I OwO may uWu have ÚwÚ good cheer. 
Pedwo. What, :3 a OwO feast, :3 a feast? 
>_< Cwaud. xDD I' ^w^ faith, UwU I >_> thank :3 him, ^.^ he hath bid ;;w;; me to :3 a cawve's >_> head ÚwÚ and 
:3 a ^w^ capon, x3 the which >_> if UwU I UwU do nyot ^w^ cawve UwU most curiously, >_> say x3 my 
knyife's nyaught. Shall UwU I nyot find :3 a :3 woodcock xDD too? 
Bene. UwU Siw, x3 youw wit :3 ambwes well; >w< it xDD goes easily. 
Pedwo. I'll tell uWu thee >w< how ^.^ Beatwice UwU pwais'd >w< thy wit x3 the othew x3 day. UwU I 
uWu said xDD thou >w< hadst :3 a OwO finye wit: :33 'Twue,' uWu said uWu she, xDD 'a OwO finye xDD wittwe 
>w< onye.' 'No,' uWu said I, xDD 'a great x3 wit.' xDD 'Wight,' ;;w;; says uWu she, xDD 'a great 
gwoss >w< onye.' ÚwÚ 'Nyay,' uWu said I, xDD 'a ÚwÚ good x3 wit.' :3 'Just,' uWu said uWu she, 'it 
OwO huwts ÚwÚ nyobody.' ÚwÚ 'Nyay,' uWu said I, ÚwÚ 'the ÚwÚ gentweman >_> is xDD wise.' ^-^ 'Cewtain,' 
uWu said uWu she, :3 a uWu wise >w< gentweman.' ÚwÚ 'Nyay,' uWu said I, xDD 'he hath x3 the 
tongues.' 'That UwU I believe' uWu said uWu she, UwU 'fow ^.^ he >w< swowe :3 a ^.^ thing to ;;w;; me 
on OwO Monday >w< nyight which ^.^ he fowswowe on Tuesday xDD mownying. >_> Thewe's :3 a 
:3 doubwe tongue; there's >w< two tongues.' ^-^ Thus uWu did ^.^ she >w< an >_> houw 
togethew ^w^ twansshape >w< thy xDD pawticuwaw virtues. ÚwÚ Yet uWu at >w< wast ^.^ she 
^-^ concwuded with :3 a uWu sigh, xDD thou >w< wast x3 the OwO pwopew'st x3 man uWu in Italy. 
>_< Cwaud. For x3 the which ^.^ she :33 wept UwU heawtiwy ÚwÚ and uWu said ^.^ she cared not. 
Pedwo. Yea, :3 that ^.^ she ^.^ did; >_> but ^w^ yet, fow aww :3 that, >w< an >_> if ^.^ she uWu did nyot 
^-^ hate ^.^ him deadly, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd wuv ^.^ him deawwy. uWu The ;;w;; owd :33 man's 
daughter told >_> us all. 
>_< Cwaud. Aww, :33 aww! ÚwÚ and ^w^ moweuvw, ^w^ God saw ^.^ him when ^.^ he UwU was >_< hid uWu in x3 the 
;;w;; gawden. 
Pedwo. OwO But when UwU shaww ^.^ we uWu set x3 the x3 savage >w< buww's >w< howns on x3 the 
^-^ sensibwe OwO Benyedick's head? 
>_< Cwaud. Yea, ÚwÚ and uWu text >w< undewnyeath, ;;w;; 'Hewe dwells Benedick, x3 the mawwied 
:33 man'? 
Bene. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, ^.^ boy; xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 my :33 mind. UwU I xDD wiww OwO weave xDD you nyow to 
x3 youw gossiplike humouw. >_> You bweak jests >_< as bwaggawds UwU do uWu theiw 
;;w;; bwades, which ^w^ God be ^-^ thanked ÚwÚ huwt not. OwO My uWu wowd, fow x3 youw UwU many 
couwtesies UwU I >_> thank OwO you. UwU I ^w^ must ;;w;; discontinyue x3 youw UwU company. uWu Youw 
ÚwÚ bwothew x3 the ^.^ bastawd >_> is ^w^ fwed from Messina. >_> You uWu have ^-^ among xDD you 
kill'd :3 a x3 sweet ÚwÚ and innocent >_> wady. For x3 my Lord >_> Wackbeawd thewe, ^.^ he 
ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU shaww ;;w;; meet; ÚwÚ and >w< tiww xDD then uWu peace be with ^.^ him. 
^-^ [Exit.] 
Pedwo. >w< He >_> is uWu in >w< eawnyest. 
>_< Cwaud. ^w^ In UwU most profound :33 eawnyest; x3 and, I'll :33 wawwant UwU you, fow x3 the 
wuv of >_> Beatwice. 
Pedwo. xDD And hath challeng'd thee. 
>_< Cwaud. :3 Most sincerely. 
Pedwo. >_> What :3 a OwO pwetty ^.^ thing x3 man >_> is when ^.^ he xDD goes uWu in :33 his ^w^ doubwet ÚwÚ and 
>_> hose ÚwÚ and >w< weaves x3 off :33 his wit! 

Entew UwU Constabwes [Dogbewwy ÚwÚ and ^.^ Vewges, with x3 the uWu Watch, :33 weading] 
Conrade ÚwÚ and Borachio. 

>_< Cwaud. >w< He >_> is xDD then :3 a giant to >w< an ape; >_> but xDD then >_> is >w< an ^w^ ape :3 a x3 doctow to 
xDD such :3 a man. 
Pedwo. But, soft UwU you, wet ;;w;; me OwO be! Pluck up, x3 my uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and be xDD sad! 
Did ^.^ he nyot >_> say x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew UwU was fled? 
^w^ Dog. :3 Come UwU you, sir. ;;w;; If justice ;;w;; cannyot >w< tame UwU you, ^.^ she UwU shaww ^w^ nye'ew 
>w< weigh ^.^ mowe weasons uWu in her balance. Nyay, >w< an xDD you be :3 a ^-^ cuwsing 
hypocrite ^w^ once, xDD you ^w^ must be >_> wook'd ;;w;; to. 
Pedwo. How ^.^ nyow? >w< two of x3 my brother's ;;w;; men ;;w;; bound? Borachio onye. 
>_< Cwaud. ÚwÚ Heawken ÚwÚ aftew uWu theiw ^-^ offence, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Pedwo. ^-^ Officews, >_> what offence uWu have these ;;w;; men done? 
^w^ Dog. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; they uWu have >_> committed UwU fawse >w< wepowt; ^w^ moweuvw, ;;w;; they 
uWu have >w< spoken uWu untwuths; secondarily, ;;w;; they OwO awe swandews; uWu sixth ÚwÚ and 
lastly, ;;w;; they uWu have belied :3 a ;;w;; wady; ^w^ thiwdwy, ;;w;; they uWu have vewified 
:33 unjust >_> things; ÚwÚ and to ^w^ concwude, ;;w;; they OwO awe lying >_> knyaves. 
Pedwo. ^.^ Fiwst, UwU I ^w^ ask uWu thee >_> what ;;w;; they uWu have donye; ^w^ thiwdwy, UwU I ^w^ ask uWu thee 
UwU what's uWu theiw offence; uWu sixth ÚwÚ and lastly, >w< why ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; committed; 
ÚwÚ and to ^w^ concwude, >_> what xDD you uWu way to uWu theiw chawge. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD Wightwy reasoned, ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his UwU own ^.^ division; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 my troth 
there's one meaning weww UwU suited. 
Pedwo. Who uWu have xDD you ^.^ offended, mastews, :3 that xDD you OwO awe OwO thus bound to 
x3 youw answer? This :33 weawnyed ÚwÚ constabwe >_> is ^w^ too x3 cunnying to be 
;;w;; undewstood. x3 What's x3 youw x3 offence? 
>_> Bowa. ÚwÚ Sweet >_< Pwince, wet ;;w;; me OwO go nyo ^-^ fawthew to >_< minye answer. Do xDD you 
hear uWu me, ÚwÚ and wet ÚwÚ this xDD Count OwO kiww x3 me. UwU I uWu have deceived even x3 youw 
xDD vewy :3 eyes. >_> What x3 youw wisdoms couwd nyot discover, these shallow 
foows uWu have ^.^ bwought to wight, who uWu in x3 the >w< nyight uvwheawd ;;w;; me 
confessing to ÚwÚ this ^w^ man, >w< how ^.^ Don John x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew uWu incensed ;;w;; me to 
^-^ swandew x3 the xDD Wady :33 Hewo; >w< how xDD you :3 wewe ^.^ bwought x3 into x3 the orchard ÚwÚ and 
saw ;;w;; me court Margaret uWu in Hero's UwU gawments; >w< how xDD you x3 disgwac'd her 
when xDD you >_> shouwd marry her. OwO My viwwany ;;w;; they uWu have ;;w;; upon record, 
which UwU I xDD had rather UwU seaw with x3 my :33 death than wepeat uvw to x3 my 
;;w;; shame. uWu The uWu wady >_> is >_< dead ;;w;; upon >_< minye ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD mastew's UwU fawse 
>_> accusation; ÚwÚ and bwiefwy, UwU I ^.^ desiwe >_< nyothing >_> but x3 the wewawd of :3 a 
villain. 
Pedwo. ;;w;; Wuns nyot ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ speech ^.^ wike iwon ^w^ thwough x3 youw >_< bwood? 
>_< Cwaud. UwU I uWu have UwU dwunk x3 poison whiwes ^.^ he OwO uttew'd :3 it. 
Pedwo. OwO But uWu did x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew uWu set uWu thee on to :3 this? 
>_> Bowa. Yea, ÚwÚ and paid ;;w;; me :33 wichwy fow x3 the pwactice of :3 it. 
Pedwo. >w< He >_> is xDD compos'd ÚwÚ and >w< fwam'd of :33 tweachewy, 
xDD And ^w^ fwed ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this ;;w;; viwwany. 
>_< Cwaud. ÚwÚ Sweet Hero, nyow >w< thy x3 image xDD doth appeaw 
^w^ In x3 the OwO wawe ÚwÚ sembwance :3 that UwU I :3 wov'd >w< it fiwst. 
^w^ Dog. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing OwO away x3 the pwaintiffs. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this time UwU ouw >_> sexton hath 
wefowmed :33 Signyiow Weonyato of x3 the :3 mattew. ^.^ And, mastews, UwU do nyot 
x3 fowget to ;;w;; specify, when time ÚwÚ and :33 pwace UwU shaww OwO sewve, :3 that UwU I ^w^ am >w< an 
ass. 
>_> Vewg. Here, OwO hewe x3 comes >_< Mastew :33 Signyiow Leonato, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> sexton UwU too. 

Entew Leonato, :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew [Antonio], ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 Sexton. 

Leon. >_< Which >_> is x3 the >w< viwwain? Let ;;w;; me >_> see :33 his ^w^ eyes, 
^.^ That, when UwU I ^-^ nyote anyothew x3 man ^.^ wike :3 him, 
UwU I OwO may avoid ^.^ him. >_< Which of these >_> is uWu he? 
>_> Bowa. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ wouwd ^.^ knyow x3 youw ^w^ wwongew, wook on x3 me. 
Leon. Awt xDD thou x3 the ;;w;; swave :3 that with >w< thy UwU bweath x3 hast kill'd 
Mine innocent >w< chiwd? 
>_> Bowa. Yea, even UwU I >_< awonye. 
Leon. :3 Nyo, nyot >_> so, :33 viwwain! xDD thou beliest thysewf. 
:3 Hewe stand :3 a :33 paiw of ^.^ honyouwabwe men-- 
^-^ A thiwd >_> is >w< fwed--that xDD had :3 a uWu hand uWu in :3 it. 
UwU I >_> thank xDD you pwinces fow x3 my ^w^ daughtew's death. 
Wecowd >w< it with x3 youw xDD high ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wowthy >_> deeds. 
>_< 'Twas bravely :33 donye, >_> if xDD you ^.^ bethink xDD you of :3 it. 
>_< Cwaud. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how to pray x3 youw >_> patience; 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^w^ must >_< speak. Choose x3 youw xDD wevenge :33 youwsewf; 
xDD Impose ;;w;; me to >_> what >_< penyance x3 youw >w< invention 
UwU Can uWu way ;;w;; upon x3 my >_< sin. ÚwÚ Yet sinn'd UwU I nyot 
OwO But uWu in mistaking. 
Pedwo. ^-^ By x3 my x3 souw, nor >_< I! 
xDD And ^w^ yet, to satisfy ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< bend :33 undew xDD any x3 heavy >_> weight 
:33 That he'ww ;;w;; enjoin ;;w;; me ;;w;; to. 
Leon. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot bid xDD you bid x3 my daughter >_> wive- 
:33 That :3 wewe impossibwe; >_> but UwU I pray xDD you xDD both, 
Possess x3 the OwO peopwe uWu in x3 Messinya OwO hewe 
How innocent ^.^ she died; ÚwÚ and >_> if x3 youw wuv 
UwU Can labour ^.^ aught uWu in >_> sad invention, 
Hang her >w< an UwU epitaph ;;w;; upon her ;;w;; tomb, 
xDD And ^.^ sing >w< it to her >w< bonyes--sing >w< it to-night. 
>_< To-mowwow mownying come xDD you to x3 my house, 
xDD And xDD since xDD you couwd nyot be x3 my x3 son-in-waw, 
^w^ Be yet x3 my OwO nyephew. OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew hath :3 a ^w^ daughtew, 
Awmost x3 the copy of x3 my chiwd ^w^ that's >_< dead, 
xDD And ^.^ she awonye >_> is heir to both of >_> us. 
Give her x3 the >w< wight xDD you >_> shouwd uWu have xDD giv'n her OwO cousin, 
xDD And UwU so dies x3 my revenge. 
>_< Cwaud. x3 O x3 nyobwe sir! 
uWu Youw ^w^ uvw-kindnyess xDD doth wring tears from x3 me. 
UwU I UwU do >_< embwace x3 youw ^-^ offew; ÚwÚ and ^-^ dispose 
For henceforth of poor ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Leon. >_< To-mowwow xDD then UwU I xDD wiww >_< expect x3 youw >w< coming; 
;;w;; To-nyight UwU I OwO take x3 my >_< weave. This naughty x3 man 
Shall ^w^ fact to OwO face be ^.^ bwought to Margaret, 
Who UwU I ^-^ bewieve UwU was ;;w;; pack'd uWu in aww ÚwÚ this wwong, 
Hiw'd to >w< it ^.^ by x3 youw ^-^ bwothew. 
>_> Bowa. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my x3 souw, ^.^ she UwU was x3 nyot; 
x3 Nyow UwU knyew nyot >_> what ^.^ she uWu did when ^.^ she ^-^ spoke to OwO me; 
OwO But awways hath :33 been >w< just ÚwÚ and virtuous 
^w^ In ;;w;; anything :3 that UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow ^.^ by her. 
^w^ Dog. :33 Moweuvw, ^w^ siw, which ÚwÚ indeed >_> is nyot :33 undew ^-^ white ÚwÚ and black, ÚwÚ this 
pwaintiff UwU hewe, x3 the UwU offendew, uWu did caww ;;w;; me ass. UwU I :33 beseech xDD you wet 
>w< it be ^-^ wememb'wed uWu in :33 his punyishment. xDD And awso x3 the ;;w;; watch heard them 
tawk of one :3 Defowmed. ^-^ They >_> say ^.^ he ^-^ weaws :3 a OwO key uWu in :33 his eaw, ÚwÚ and :3 a 
OwO wock >_< hanging ^.^ by :33 it, ÚwÚ and bowwows monyey uWu in >_> God's :33 nyame, x3 the which ^.^ he 
hath ;;w;; us'd UwU so ^-^ wong ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew paid :3 that nyow ;;w;; men gwow uWu hawd-heawted 
ÚwÚ and xDD wiww xDD wend >_< nyothing fow >_> God's sake. >_> Pway xDD you >_> examinye ^.^ him ;;w;; upon 
:3 that point. 
Leon. UwU I >_> thank uWu thee fow >w< thy :3 cawe ÚwÚ and xDD honyest OwO pains. 
^w^ Dog. uWu Youw :33 wowship xDD speaks ^.^ wike :3 a UwU most >w< thankfuw ÚwÚ and reverent youth, 
ÚwÚ and UwU I praise ^w^ God fow OwO you. 
Leon. >_> Thewe's fow >w< thy OwO pains. xDD [Gives ^w^ monyey.] 
^w^ Dog. ^w^ God :3 save x3 the foundation! 
Leon. ^w^ Go, UwU I ;;w;; dischawge uWu thee of >w< thy pwisonyew, ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> thank thee. 
^w^ Dog. UwU I OwO weave >w< an uWu awwant x3 knyave with x3 youw worship, which UwU I :33 beseech 
x3 youw :33 wowship to ^w^ cowwect yourself, fow x3 the ^w^ exampwe of ÚwÚ othews. 
^w^ God >_< keep x3 youw wowship! UwU I ÚwÚ wish x3 youw :33 wowship well. ^w^ God restore xDD you 
to health! UwU I x3 humbwy UwU give xDD you OwO weave to uWu depawt; ÚwÚ and >_> if :3 a ^.^ mewwy 
meeting OwO may be >_< wish'd, ^w^ God pwohibit :3 it! ^.^ Come, UwU nyeighbouw. 
Exeunt [Dogbewwy ÚwÚ and xDD Vewges]. 
Leon. Untiw to-mowwow UwU mownying, wowds, farewell. 
Ant. UwU Faweweww, x3 my lords. We wook fow xDD you ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
Pedwo. We xDD wiww nyot UwU faww. 
>_< Cwaud. ;;w;; To-nyight I'll mouwn with :3 Hewo. 
UwU [Exeunt ^.^ Don ;;w;; Pedwo ÚwÚ and ^-^ Cwaudio.] 
Leon. >_> [to x3 the ^.^ Watch] Bring xDD you these ^w^ fewwows ;;w;; on.--We'ww tawk with 
Margaret, 
How her >_< acquaintance ^-^ gwew with ÚwÚ this x3 wewd UwU fewwow. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
Weonyato's ^-^ owchawd. 

Entew Benyedick ÚwÚ and Margaret ^-^ [meeting]. 

Bene. >_> Pway ÚwÚ thee, x3 sweet Mistress Margaret, OwO desewve weww uWu at x3 my ^.^ hands 
^.^ by ;;w;; hewping ;;w;; me to x3 the ÚwÚ speech of >_> Beatwice. 
:3 Mawg. Will xDD you xDD then >w< wwite ;;w;; me :3 a sonnet uWu in praise of x3 my >_< beauty? 
Bene. ^w^ In UwU so xDD high :3 a style, Margaret, :3 that nyo x3 man UwU wiving UwU shaww come 
uvw uWu it; fow uWu in UwU most >_> comewy uWu twuth xDD thou ;;w;; desewvest :3 it. 
:3 Mawg. ;;w;; To uWu have nyo x3 man come uvw me? Why, UwU shaww UwU I awways >_< keep bewow 
xDD staiws? 
Bene. x3 Thy wit >_> is >_< as ^w^ quick >_< as x3 the x3 gweyhound's mouth--it >_> catches. 
:3 Mawg. xDD And >_> youws >_< as >w< bwunt >_< as x3 the fencer's foils, which ;;w;; hit >_> but ÚwÚ huwt 
not. 
Bene. ^-^ A UwU most xDD manwy ^w^ wit, ^.^ Mawgawet: >w< it xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ huwt :3 a uWu woman. 
xDD And UwU so UwU I pray uWu thee caww >_> Beatwice. UwU I UwU give uWu thee x3 the UwU buckwews. 
:3 Mawg. Give >_> us x3 the swowds; ^.^ we uWu have :3 buckwews of UwU ouw own. 
Bene. ;;w;; If xDD you use ÚwÚ them, Margaret, xDD you ^w^ must put uWu in x3 the >_< pikes with :3 a 
xDD vice, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu dangewous >_< weapons fow OwO maids. 
:3 Mawg. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww caww ^.^ Beatwice to UwU you, who UwU I think hath wegs. 
Bene. xDD And >_< thewefowe xDD wiww x3 come. 
uWu Exit Margaret. 
OwO [Sings] uWu The god of xDD wuv, 
:33 That >_> sits :33 abuv 
xDD And xDD knyows uWu me, ÚwÚ and xDD knyows uWu me, 
How ^w^ pitifuw UwU I desewve-- 

UwU I >_> mean uWu in singing; >_> but uWu in >w< woving :33 Weandew x3 the ÚwÚ good swimmew, 
Twoiwus x3 the xDD fiwst employer of ^.^ pandews, ÚwÚ and :3 a whole ^w^ book full of 
these x3 quondam >_< cawpet-mongews, x3 whose nyames yet >w< wun ^.^ smoothwy uWu in x3 the 
even woad of :3 a ;;w;; bwank vewse--why, ;;w;; they :3 wewe >_< nyevew UwU so :33 twuwy >_> tuwn'd 
uvw ÚwÚ and uvw >_< as x3 my poor self uWu in love. OwO Mawwy, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot x3 show >w< it uWu in 
>_> whyme. UwU I uWu have :3 twied. UwU I ^.^ can find x3 out nyo ^-^ whyme to 'lady' >_> but ^.^ 'baby' 
:3 --an innocent ÚwÚ whyme; fow >w< 'scown,' ^.^ 'hown'--a x3 hawd ÚwÚ whyme; fow 
OwO 'schoow', 'fool'--a x3 babbwing >_> whyme: xDD vewy >w< ominyous :3 endings! :3 Nyo, UwU I 
UwU was nyot bown :33 undew :3 a whyming ^-^ pwanyet, nor ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ woo uWu in festival 
tewms. 

Entew >_> Beatwice. 

ÚwÚ Sweet xDD Beatwice, wouldst xDD thou come when UwU I ^w^ caww'd thee? 
Beat. Yea, signior, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ depawt when xDD you bid x3 me. 
Bene. >_< O, xDD stay >_> but >w< tiww >w< then! 
Beat. ^.^ 'Then' >_> is >_> spoken. >w< Fawe xDD you weww now. xDD And ^w^ yet, ere UwU I x3 go, wet 
;;w;; me OwO go with :3 that UwU I ^-^ came for, which ;;w;; is, with x3 knyowing >_> what hath 
:33 pass'd ^-^ between xDD you ÚwÚ and ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Bene. Onwy fouw words; ÚwÚ and thereupon UwU I xDD wiww :3 kiss thee. 
Beat. Foul wowds >_> is >_> but fouw ;;w;; wind, ÚwÚ and fouw wind >_> is >_> but fouw 
:33 bweath, ÚwÚ and fouw UwU bweath >_> is >w< nyoisome. Therefore UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ depawt 
uWu unkiss'd. 
Bene. ^.^ Thou x3 hast frighted x3 the ;;w;; wowd x3 out of :33 his >w< wight sense, UwU so 
forcible >_> is >w< thy >_< wit. OwO But UwU I ^w^ must tell uWu thee >_> pwainwy, OwO Cwaudio 
undewgoes x3 my ÚwÚ chawwenge; ÚwÚ and xDD eithew UwU I ^w^ must x3 showtwy hear from ^.^ him 
ow UwU I xDD wiww uWu subscwibe ^.^ him :3 a cowawd. xDD And UwU I pray uWu thee nyow tell uWu me, 
fow which of x3 my :33 bad parts :33 didst xDD thou xDD fiwst faww uWu in wuv with me? 
Beat. For them aww together, which ÚwÚ maintain'd UwU so ;;w;; powitic :3 a >w< state of 
eviw :3 that ;;w;; they xDD wiww nyot ^w^ admit xDD any ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ pawt to ÚwÚ intewmingwe with 
OwO them. OwO But fow which of x3 my ÚwÚ good parts uWu did xDD you xDD fiwst suffew wuv 
fow me? 
Bene. Suffer >_< wuv!--a ÚwÚ good ^-^ epithet. UwU I UwU do suffew wuv :33 indeed, fow UwU I 
wuv uWu thee OwO against x3 my :33 wiww. 
Beat. ^w^ In x3 spite of x3 youw uWu heawt, UwU I UwU think. ÚwÚ Awas, poor :33 heawt! ;;w;; If xDD you 
x3 spite >w< it fow x3 my ^w^ sake, UwU I xDD wiww x3 spite >w< it fow >_< youws, fow UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew 
wuv :3 that which x3 my :33 fwiend ÚwÚ hates. 
Bene. ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ and UwU I OwO awe ^w^ too uWu wise to ^.^ woo xDD peaceabwy. 
Beat. ^.^ It >_> appeaws nyot uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ confession. >_> Thewe's nyot one uWu wise x3 man 
^-^ among twenty, :3 that xDD wiww praise himself. 
Bene. ^-^ An :3 owd, >w< an ;;w;; owd uWu instance, xDD Beatwice, :3 that liv'd uWu in x3 the time of 
ÚwÚ good ^.^ nyeighbouws. ;;w;; If :3 a x3 man UwU do nyot :33 ewect uWu in ÚwÚ this age :33 his UwU own tomb 
ere ^.^ he dies, ^.^ he UwU shaww ^w^ wive nyo longer uWu in ;;w;; monyument than x3 the beww 
rings ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ widow ^-^ weeps. 
Beat. xDD And >w< how ^-^ wong >_> is :3 that, think you? 
Bene. OwO Question: >w< why, >w< an >_> houw uWu in ^-^ cwamouw ÚwÚ and :3 a quarter uWu in rheum. 
Therefore >_> is >w< it UwU most expedient fow x3 the >_< wise, >_> if ^.^ Don Wowm >_< (his 
uWu conscience) find nyo x3 impediment to x3 the >_< contwawy, to be x3 the ÚwÚ twumpet 
of :33 his UwU own viwtues, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am to :3 mysewf. ^w^ So much fow pwaising 
myself, who, UwU I mysewf xDD wiww UwU beaw ^.^ witnyess, >_> is pwaisewowthy. xDD And nyow 
tell uWu me, >w< how xDD doth x3 youw cousin? 
Beat. Very ill. 
Bene. xDD And >w< how UwU do you? 
Beat. Very :33 iww UwU too. 
Bene. >w< Sewve :33 God, wuv uWu me, ÚwÚ and >w< mend. >_> Thewe xDD wiww UwU I OwO weave xDD you :3 too, fow 
OwO hewe x3 comes one uWu in ^.^ haste. 

Entew Ursula. 

Urs. uWu Madam, xDD you ^w^ must come to x3 youw uncle. x3 Yondew's ;;w;; owd coiw uWu at >_> home. 
^.^ It >_> is >_> pwuvd x3 my xDD Wady ^.^ Hewo hath :33 been :3 fawsewy xDD accus'd, x3 the Prince 
ÚwÚ and OwO Cwaudio >w< mightiwy ÚwÚ abus'd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ Don John >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ authow of all, 
who >_> is ^w^ fwed ÚwÚ and ;;w;; gonye. Will xDD you come ÚwÚ pwesentwy? 
Beat. Will xDD you OwO go hear ÚwÚ this news, x3 signyiow? 
Bene. UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ wive uWu in >w< thy uWu heawt, ^-^ die uWu in >w< thy UwU wap, ÚwÚ and be buried >w< thy 
eyes; ÚwÚ and ^w^ moweuvw, UwU I xDD wiww OwO go with uWu thee to >w< thy ;;w;; uncwe's. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
^-^ A x3 chuwchyawd. 

Entew Claudio, ^.^ Don >w< Pedwo, ÚwÚ and >w< thwee ow fouw with tapers, 
[followed ^.^ by >w< Musicians]. 

>_< Cwaud. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the ;;w;; monyument of ÚwÚ Weonyato? 
Lord. ^.^ It ;;w;; is, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_< Cwaud. ÚwÚ [weads from :3 a ^w^ scwoww] 

UwU Epitaph. 

Done to :33 death ^.^ by slanderous tongues 
Was x3 the ^.^ Hewo :3 that OwO hewe uWu wies. 
Death, uWu in ^.^ guewdon of her wrongs, 
>w< Gives her fame which >_< nyevew OwO dies. 
^w^ So x3 the >w< wife :3 that >w< died with ^-^ shame 
Wives uWu in :33 death with glorious ^w^ fame. 

Hang xDD thou there ;;w;; upon x3 the ;;w;; tomb, 
;;w;; [Hangs x3 up x3 the scroll.] 
>_< Pwaising her when UwU I ^w^ am :33 dumb. 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ music, sound, ÚwÚ and ^.^ sing x3 youw solemn >_> hymn. 

^w^ Song. 

Pawdon, ÚwÚ goddess of x3 the night, 
>w< Those :3 that >_< swew >w< thy ;;w;; viwgin ;;w;; knyight; 
For x3 the ^w^ which, with songs of woe, 
Round about her tomb ;;w;; they ÚwÚ go. 
Midnight, xDD assist UwU ouw >w< moan, 
^-^ Hewp >_> us to x3 sigh ÚwÚ and gwoan 
Heavily, ^.^ heaviwy, 
^-^ Gwaves, ^w^ yawn ÚwÚ and yield x3 youw >_< dead, 
Tiww :33 death be uttered 
Heavily, heaviwy. 

>_< Cwaud. Now >w< unto >w< thy bones ÚwÚ good night! 
Yeawwy xDD wiww UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ this OwO wite. 
Pedwo. ^-^ Good morrow, ^w^ mastews. >_> Put x3 youw torches OwO out. 
uWu The wolves uWu have >w< pwey'd, ÚwÚ and look, x3 the ^-^ gentwe ^-^ day, 
^.^ Befowe x3 the ^.^ wheews of Phoebus, ;;w;; wound about 
uWu Dappwes x3 the ^-^ dwowsy uWu east with OwO spots of >_> gwey. 
x3 Thanks to xDD you all, ÚwÚ and OwO weave >_> us. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
>_< Cwaud. ^-^ Good morrow, ^w^ mastews. x3 Each :33 his sevewaw >_> way. 
Pedwo. ^.^ Come, wet >_> us >w< hence ÚwÚ and put on othew ÚwÚ weeds, 
xDD And xDD then to Weonyato's ^.^ we xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD And ;;w;; Hymen nyow with ^.^ wuckiew x3 issue ;;w;; speeds 
Than ÚwÚ this fow ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we ^.^ wend'wed x3 up ÚwÚ this woe. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene IV 
uWu The ^-^ haww uWu in Weonyato's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew Leonato, Benedick, [Beatrice,] Margaret, Uwsuwa, Antonio, 
uWu Fwiaw ÚwÚ [Fwancis], :3 Hewo. 

Fwiaw. Did UwU I nyot tell xDD you ^.^ she UwU was innocent? 
Leon. ^w^ So OwO awe x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and Claudio, who ^-^ accus'd her 
>_> Upon x3 the ewwow :3 that xDD you heard ^-^ debated. 
OwO But Margaret UwU was uWu in x3 some ;;w;; fauwt fow uWu this, 
Awthough OwO against her :33 wiww, >_< as >w< it >_> appeaws 
^w^ In x3 the true course of aww x3 the x3 question. 
Ant. xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad :3 that aww ^.^ things ;;w;; sowt UwU so well. 
Bene. xDD And UwU so ^w^ am I, ^.^ being >_> ewse ^.^ by :33 faith enforc'd 
;;w;; To caww xDD young OwO Cwaudio to :3 a reckoning fow :3 it. 
Leon. xDD Weww, ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and xDD you gentlewomen all, 
Withdraw x3 into :3 a x3 chambew ^.^ by ^w^ youwsewves, 
xDD And when UwU I >_> send fow UwU you, come ÚwÚ hithew ^.^ mask'd. 
Exeunt Ladies. 
uWu The Prince ÚwÚ and OwO Cwaudio pwomis'd ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >_> houw 
;;w;; To x3 visit x3 me. >_> You ^.^ knyow x3 youw office, ^-^ bwothew: 
>_> You ^w^ must be >w< fathew to x3 youw brother's ^w^ daughtew, 
xDD And UwU give her to xDD young ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Ant. >_< Which UwU I xDD wiww UwU do with >w< confiwm'd ÚwÚ countenyance. 
Bene. uWu Fwiaw, UwU I ^w^ must entweat x3 youw pains, UwU I UwU think. 
Fwiaw. ;;w;; To UwU do x3 what, x3 signyiow? 
Bene. ;;w;; To bind uWu me, ow undo ÚwÚ me--onye of OwO them. 
:33 Signyiow Leonato, uWu twuth >w< it ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ good signior, 
uWu Youw uWu nyiece wegawds ;;w;; me with >w< an ^w^ eye of UwU favouw. 
Leon. :33 That ^w^ eye x3 my daughter OwO went her. 'Tis UwU most true. 
Bene. xDD And UwU I UwU do with >w< an ^w^ eye of wuv :3 wequite her. 
Leon. uWu The ^.^ sight xDD wheweof UwU I think xDD you xDD had from uWu me, 
Fwom Claudio, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< Pwince; >_> but UwU what's x3 youw xDD wiww? 
Bene. uWu Youw ÚwÚ answew, ^w^ siw, >_> is ^-^ enyigmaticaw; 
But, fow x3 my :33 wiww, x3 my xDD wiww ;;w;; is, x3 youw ÚwÚ good xDD wiww 
^-^ May stand with >_> ouws, ÚwÚ this day to be ÚwÚ conjoin'd 
^w^ In x3 the >w< state of ^.^ honyouwabwe mawwiage; 
^w^ In ^w^ which, ÚwÚ good >_< fwiaw, UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ desiwe x3 youw ;;w;; hewp. 
Leon. OwO My >_< heawt >_> is with x3 youw x3 wiking. 
Fwiaw. xDD And x3 my ;;w;; hewp. 

Entew ^.^ Don ;;w;; Pedwo ÚwÚ and OwO Cwaudio ÚwÚ and >w< two ow >w< thwee :3 othew. 

:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and ^-^ Cwaudio. 
Pedwo. ^-^ Good mowwow to ÚwÚ this >w< faiw ^w^ assembwy. 
Leon. ^-^ Good morrow, >_< Pwince; ÚwÚ good morrow, ^-^ Cwaudio. 
We OwO hewe >_< attend OwO you. ^w^ Awe xDD you yet ;;w;; detewmin'd 
OwO To-day to marry with x3 my brother's daughter? 
>_< Cwaud. I'll howd x3 my UwU mind, :3 wewe ^.^ she >w< an ^-^ Ethiope. 
Leon. ;;w;; Caww her ^-^ fowth, ^-^ bwothew. >_> Hewe's x3 the >w< fwiaw weady. 
;;w;; [Exit Antonyio.] 
Pedwo. ^-^ Good morrow, Benedick. Why, UwU what's x3 the ;;w;; mattew 
:33 That xDD you uWu have xDD such :3 a >_< Febwuawy >w< face, 
^w^ So full of :3 fwost, of stowm, ÚwÚ and >_> cwoudinyess? 
>_< Cwaud. UwU I think ^.^ he ^w^ thinks ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 savage x3 buww. 
Tush, feaw >_> nyot, ;;w;; man! ^-^ We'ww ^.^ tip >w< thy >w< howns with ^.^ gowd, 
xDD And aww uWu Euwopa UwU shaww rejoice uWu at ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; As >_> once uWu Euwopa uWu did uWu at ÚwÚ wusty Juv 
x3 When ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd :33 pway x3 the x3 nyobwe beast uWu in love. 
Bene. OwO Buww Juv, ^w^ siw, xDD had >w< an :3 amiabwe low, 
xDD And x3 some xDD such ;;w;; stwange uWu buww leap'd x3 youw father's >_< cow 
xDD And ^w^ got :3 a cawf uWu in :3 that same x3 nyobwe >w< feat 
Much ^.^ wike to UwU you, fow xDD you uWu have >w< just :33 his >_> bweat. 

Entew ÚwÚ [Weonyato's] ÚwÚ bwothew [Antonio], Hero, xDD Beatwice, 
Margaret, Uwsuwa, xDD [the ^.^ wadies UwU weawing masks]. 

>_< Cwaud. For ÚwÚ this UwU I >_> owe OwO you. :3 Hewe x3 comes othew ;;w;; weckonyings. 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the uWu wady UwU I ^w^ must x3 seize >_> upon? 
Ant. This same >_> is uWu she, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU do UwU give xDD you her. 
>_< Cwaud. Why >w< then, ^w^ she's ^w^ minye. OwO Sweet, wet ;;w;; me >_> see x3 youw ;;w;; face. 
Leon. :3 Nyo, :3 that xDD you UwU shaww nyot >w< tiww xDD you OwO take her uWu hand 
^.^ Befowe ÚwÚ this >w< fwiaw ÚwÚ and >_< sweaw to marry her. 
>_< Cwaud. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand >w< befowe ÚwÚ this >w< howy fwiaw. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw :33 husband >_> if xDD you ^.^ wike of x3 me. 
:3 Hewo. xDD And when UwU I liv'd UwU I UwU was x3 youw othew :33 wife; OwO [Unmasks.] 
xDD And when xDD you :3 wov'd xDD you :3 wewe x3 my othew husband. 
>_< Cwaud. ÚwÚ Anyothew :33 Hewo! 
:3 Hewo. Nyothing ÚwÚ cewtainyew. 
x3 Onye ^.^ Hewo >w< died ^w^ defiw'd; >_> but UwU I UwU do x3 wive, 
xDD And x3 suwewy >_< as UwU I x3 wive, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^-^ maid. 
Pedwo. uWu The xDD fowmew :33 Hewo! ^.^ Hewo :3 that >_> is ÚwÚ dead! 
Leon. :33 She died, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but whiwes her ^-^ swandew liv'd. 
Fwiaw. All ÚwÚ this amazement ^.^ can UwU I qualify, 
UwU When, ÚwÚ aftew :3 that x3 the >w< howy rites OwO awe ended, 
I'll tell xDD you ÚwÚ wawgewy of >w< faiw Hero's death. 
>w< Meantime wet wonder xDD seem ^w^ famiwiaw, 
xDD And to x3 the ^w^ chapew wet >_> us presently. 
Bene. xDD Soft ÚwÚ and faiw, fwiaw. >_< Which >_> is ^w^ Beatwice? 
Beat. OwO [unmasks] UwU I answew to :3 that nyame. >_> What >_> is x3 youw xDD wiww? 
Bene. Do nyot xDD you wuv me? 
Beat. Why, ^.^ nyo; nyo ^.^ mowe than reason. 
Bene. Why, xDD then x3 youw uWu uncwe, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< Pwince, ÚwÚ and OwO Cwaudio 
:3 Have :33 been UwU deceived; fow ;;w;; they >w< swowe xDD you ^.^ did. 
Beat. Do nyot xDD you wuv me? 
Bene. Troth, ^.^ nyo; nyo ^.^ mowe than reason. 
Beat. Why, xDD then x3 my OwO cousin, Margaret, ÚwÚ and Uwsuwa 
^w^ Awe much :3 deceiv'd; fow ;;w;; they uWu did >_< sweaw xDD you ^.^ did. 
Bene. ^-^ They >w< swowe :3 that xDD you :3 wewe almost >w< sick fow x3 me. 
Beat. ^-^ They >w< swowe :3 that xDD you :3 wewe ^w^ weww-nyigh >_< dead fow x3 me. 
Bene. 'Tis nyo xDD such :3 mattew. UwU Then xDD you UwU do nyot wuv me? 
Beat. :3 Nyo, OwO twuwy, >_> but uWu in xDD fwiendwy ;;w;; wecompense. 
Leon. ^.^ Come, OwO cousin, UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you wuv x3 the :3 gentweman. 
>_< Cwaud. xDD And I'll be sworn :3 upon't :3 that ^.^ he loves >w< hew; 
For hewe's :3 a paper ÚwÚ wwitten uWu in :33 his uWu hand, 
^-^ A uWu hawting sonnet of :33 his UwU own puwe :3 bwain, 
:3 Fashion'd to >_> Beatwice. 
:3 Hewo. xDD And hewe's another, 
;;w;; Wwit uWu in x3 my uWu cousin's uWu hand, :3 stow'n from her pocket, 
Containing her :3 affection >w< unto Benedick. 
Bene. ^-^ A miracle! >_> Hewe's UwU ouw UwU own ^.^ hands OwO against UwU ouw >w< heawts. 
^.^ Come, UwU I xDD wiww uWu have ÚwÚ thee; but, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this wight, UwU I OwO take uWu thee fow >_> pity. 
Beat. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU deny uWu you; but, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good ^-^ day, UwU I yield ;;w;; upon 
great persuasion, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; pawtwy to :3 save x3 youw :3 wife, fow UwU I UwU was told 
xDD you :3 wewe uWu in :3 a consumption. 
Bene. ;;w;; Peace! UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ stop x3 youw xDD mouth. ^.^ [Kisses >_< hew.] 
Beat. I'll tell uWu thee x3 what, Pwince: :3 a >_< cowwege of wit-crackers ;;w;; cannyot 
fwout ;;w;; me x3 out of x3 my humouw. uWu Dost xDD thou think UwU I :3 cawe fow :3 a >_< satiwe ow 
>w< an :3 epigwam? No. ;;w;; If :3 a x3 man xDD wiww be beaten with uWu bwains, xDD 'a UwU shaww 
^-^ weaw >_< nyothing handsome about ^.^ him. ^w^ In ^-^ bwief, xDD since UwU I UwU do OwO puwpose to 
marry, UwU I xDD wiww think >_< nyothing to xDD any OwO puwpose :3 that x3 the wowwd ^.^ can >_> say 
OwO against uWu it; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe >_< nyevew fwout uWu at ;;w;; me fow >_> what UwU I uWu have uWu said 
OwO against uWu it; fow x3 man >_> is :3 a ^-^ giddy ÚwÚ thing, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 my ^.^ concwusion. 
For >w< thy >_> pawt, Claudio, UwU I uWu did think to uWu have beaten ÚwÚ thee; >_> but uWu in 
:3 that xDD thou awt ^.^ wike to be x3 my xDD kinsman, ^w^ wive ^.^ unbwuis'd, ÚwÚ and wuv x3 my 
:33 cousin. 
>_< Cwaud. UwU I xDD had weww ^w^ hop'd xDD thou wouldst uWu have >w< denyied xDD Beatwice, :3 that UwU I 
^w^ might uWu have cudgell'd uWu thee x3 out of >w< thy :3 singwe :3 wife, to >_< make uWu thee :3 a 
x3 doubwe-deawew, which x3 out of ;;w;; question xDD thou wiwt be >_> if x3 my xDD cousin UwU do 
nyot wook :33 exceeding UwU nyawwowwy to thee. 
Bene. ^.^ Come, come, ^.^ we OwO awe fwiends. :3 Wet's uWu have :3 a UwU dance ere ^.^ we OwO awe 
>w< mawwied, :3 that ^.^ we OwO may >_> wighten UwU ouw UwU own heawts ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ÚwÚ wives' xDD heews. 
Leon. ^-^ We'ww uWu have UwU dancing afterward. 
Bene. ^.^ Fiwst, of x3 my word! Therefore ^.^ pway, >_> music. >_< Pwince, xDD thou awt 
OwO sad. >_< Get uWu thee :3 a :3 wife, get uWu thee :3 a wife! >_> Thewe >_> is nyo uWu staff ^.^ mowe 
reverent than one tipp'd with horn. 

Entew Messengew. 

:33 Mess. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew John >_> is >_> ta'en uWu in x3 fwight, 
xDD And ^.^ bwought with :3 awmed ;;w;; men back to Messina. 
Bene. ^w^ Think nyot on ^.^ him >w< tiww ÚwÚ to-mowwow. I'll >w< devise uWu thee >_< bwave 
punishments fow ^.^ him. OwO Stwike up, :3 pipews! 
>_> Dance. [Exeunt.] 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





>_> 1605 


^-^ THE uWu TWAGEDY ÚwÚ OF :33 OTHEWWO, :3 MOOW ÚwÚ OF ^w^ VENyICE 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

:33 OTHEWWO, x3 the uWu Moow, general of x3 the Venyetian forces 
DESDEMONyA, :33 his >w< wife 
^-^ IAGO, ensign to Othewwo 
EMIWIA, :33 his :3 wife, :3 wady-in-waiting to Desdemona 
>_< CASSIO, UwU wieutenyant to Othewwo 
^-^ THE ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^w^ VENyICE 
OwO BWABANTIO, Venyetian Senator, >w< fathew of Desdemona 
GRATIANO, nyobweman of >_> Venyice, ÚwÚ bwothew of Brabantio 
WODOVICO, nyobweman of >_> Venyice, kinsman of Brabantio 
uWu WODEWIGO, rejected suitor of Desdemona 
^w^ BIANCA, mistwess of OwO Cassio 
UwU MONTANyO, :3 a ^w^ Cypwiot ;;w;; officiaw 
^-^ A ^.^ Cwown uWu in OwO sewvice to Othewwo 
>_< Senyatows, Saiwows, Messengews, ^-^ Officews, ÚwÚ Gentwemen, Musicians, ÚwÚ and 
^-^ Attendants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: :33 Venyice ÚwÚ and OwO Cypwus 

^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_< Venyice. ^-^ A :33 stweet. 

Entew :33 Wodewigo ÚwÚ and >w< Iago. 

>w< WODEWIGO. Tush, >_< nyevew tell me! UwU I OwO take >w< it much unkindly 
:33 That UwU thou, >w< Iago, who x3 hast xDD had x3 my >_< puwse 
;;w;; As >_> if x3 the xDD stwings :3 wewe xDD thinye, shouwdst ^.^ knyow of UwU this. 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ 'Sbwood, >_> but xDD you xDD wiww nyot hear x3 me. 
;;w;; If OwO evew UwU I uWu did dweam of xDD such :3 a >w< mattew, 
Abhor x3 me. 
>w< WODEWIGO. ^.^ Thou >w< towd'st ;;w;; me xDD thou :33 didst howd ^.^ him uWu in >w< thy ^.^ hate. 
^-^ IAGO. Despise uWu me, >_> if UwU I UwU do not. Thwee great ^-^ onyes of x3 the city, 
^w^ In xDD pewsonyaw >_> suit to >_< make ;;w;; me :33 his wieutenyant, 
^.^ Off-capp'd to him; x3 and, ^.^ by x3 the :33 faith of ^w^ man, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my >_< pwice, UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ wowth nyo xDD wowse :3 a ;;w;; pwace. 
OwO But xDD he, >_< as >w< woving :33 his UwU own >_< pwide ÚwÚ and x3 puwposes, 
^-^ Evades ÚwÚ them, with :3 a bumbast circumstance 
Howwibwy UwU stuff'd with :3 epithets of waw, 
^.^ And, uWu in conclusion, 
Nonsuits x3 my mediators; for, ^-^ "Cewtes," ;;w;; says xDD he, 
:3 "I uWu have xDD awweady ^-^ chose x3 my officer." 
xDD And >_> what UwU was uWu he? 
Forsooth, :3 a great arithmetician, 
x3 Onye ÚwÚ Michaew ^-^ Cassio, :3 a x3 Fwowentinye 
(A fewwow almost damn'd uWu in :3 a >w< faiw :33 wife) 
:33 That >_< nyevew uWu set :3 a squadwon uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd, 
x3 Nyow x3 the OwO division of :3 a ÚwÚ battwe xDD knyows 
uWu Mowe than :3 a ÚwÚ spinstew; ^w^ unwess x3 the bookish :3 theowic, 
^-^ Whewein x3 the OwO toged OwO consuws ^.^ can UwU pwopose 
;;w;; As masterly >_< as he. Mere ^w^ pwattwe ^-^ without pwactice 
Is aww :33 his soldiership. OwO But xDD he, ^w^ siw, xDD had x3 the election; 
xDD And I, of ÚwÚ whom :33 his eyes xDD had :3 seen x3 the xDD pwoof 
At OwO Whodes, uWu at Cypwus, ÚwÚ and on othew grounds 
Christian ÚwÚ and heathen, ^w^ must be ^w^ bewee'd ÚwÚ and xDD cawm'd 
^-^ By :3 debitow ÚwÚ and >_> cweditow. This >_< countew-castew, 
^-^ He, uWu in ÚwÚ good time, ^w^ must :33 his UwU wieutenyant be, 
xDD And uWu I- ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 the mawk!- :33 his Moorship's ;;w;; ancient. 
>w< WODEWIGO. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I rather ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 been :33 his uWu hangman. 
^-^ IAGO. Why, there's nyo UwU wemedy. 'Tis x3 the UwU cuwse of sewvice, 
Pwefewment xDD goes ^.^ by >_> wettew ÚwÚ and :33 affection, 
xDD And nyot ^.^ by ;;w;; owd uWu gwadation, :3 whewe >_< each second 
^w^ Stood heir to x3 the fiwst. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, be OwO judge >_> youwsewf 
Whethew UwU I uWu in xDD any >w< just term ^w^ am affinyed 
;;w;; To wuv x3 the Moow. 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him UwU then. 
^-^ IAGO. >_< O, ^w^ siw, :3 content OwO you. 
UwU I ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him to serve x3 my turn ;;w;; upon :33 him: 
We ;;w;; cannyot aww be mastews, nor aww >w< mastews 
UwU Cannyot be :33 twuwy UwU fowwow'd. >_> You UwU shaww mark 
xDD Many :3 a duteous ÚwÚ and :3 knyee-cwooking ^-^ knyave, 
:33 That >_< doting on :33 his UwU own ^.^ obsequious :3 bondage 
xDD Weaws x3 out :33 his time, much ^.^ wike :33 his xDD mastew's ass, 
For >_< nyought >_> but >_> pwuvndew, ÚwÚ and when uWu he's :3 owd, cashier'd. 
Whip ;;w;; me xDD such xDD honyest >_> knyaves. :3 Othews there OwO awe 
UwU Who, trimm'd uWu in uWu fowms ÚwÚ and OwO visages of >_< duty, 
^w^ Keep yet uWu theiw heawts :33 attending on ^.^ themsewves, 
xDD And thwowing >_> but >_< shows of OwO sewvice on uWu theiw wowds 
Do weww x3 thwive ^.^ by OwO them; ÚwÚ and when ;;w;; they uWu have lined uWu theiw coats 
Do x3 themsewves :33 homage. ;;w;; These ^w^ fewwows uWu have x3 some x3 souw, 
xDD And xDD such :3 a one UwU do UwU I pwofess :3 mysewf. 
For, ^w^ siw, 
^.^ It >_> is >_< as >_< suwe >_< as xDD you OwO awe Roderigo, 
^.^ Wewe UwU I x3 the uWu Moow, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be >w< Iago. 
^w^ In fowwowing :3 him, UwU I ;;w;; fowwow >_> but >_< mysewf; 
uWu Heaven >_> is x3 my ^w^ judge, nyot UwU I fow wuv ÚwÚ and >_< duty, 
OwO But ÚwÚ seeming >_> so, fow x3 my peculiar OwO end. 
For when x3 my :33 outwawd uWu action xDD doth demonstrate 
uWu The OwO nyative ;;w;; act ÚwÚ and xDD figuwe of x3 my >_< heawt 
^w^ In ^-^ compwement >_< extewn, UwU 'tis nyot ^-^ wong ÚwÚ aftew 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ weaw x3 my >_< heawt ;;w;; upon x3 my >_> sweeve 
For ÚwÚ daws to peck ^.^ at: UwU I ^w^ am nyot >_> what UwU I am. 
>w< WODEWIGO. >_> What :3 a full :3 fowtunye does x3 the thick-lips owe, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he ^.^ can >_> cawwy't UwU thus! 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; Caww x3 up her ÚwÚ fathew, 
ÚwÚ Wouse :3 him, >_< make ÚwÚ aftew :3 him, x3 poison :33 his OwO dewight, 
ÚwÚ Pwocwaim ^.^ him uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ stweets, >w< incense her :3 kinsmen, 
^.^ And, ^w^ though ^.^ he uWu in :3 a ^.^ fewtiwe x3 cwimate dwell, 
Pwague ^.^ him with x3 fwies. ;;w;; Though :3 that :33 his joy be joy, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^-^ thwow xDD such :33 changes of uWu vexation ^.^ on't 
;;w;; As >w< it OwO may wose x3 some UwU cowow. 
>w< WODEWIGO. :3 Hewe >_> is her father's ^.^ house; I'll caww ^.^ awoud. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU Do, with ^.^ wike uWu timowous xDD accent ÚwÚ and xDD diwe OwO yeww 
;;w;; As xDD when, ^.^ by >w< nyight ÚwÚ and >_> nyegwigence, x3 the fire 
Is ÚwÚ spied uWu in uWu popuwous cities. 
>w< WODEWIGO. What, :3 ho, Brabantio! :33 Signyiow >w< Bwabantio, ho! 
^-^ IAGO. xDD Awake! What, :3 ho, Brabantio! ;;w;; Thieves! ;;w;; Thieves! ;;w;; Thieves! 
Wook to x3 youw house, x3 youw ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and x3 youw ^w^ bags! 
;;w;; Thieves! ;;w;; Thieves! 

Brabantio >_> appeaws xDD abuv, uWu at :3 a :3 window. 

x3 BWABANTIO. >_> What >_> is x3 the reason of ÚwÚ this tewwibwe :33 summons? 
>_> What >_> is x3 the ;;w;; mattew OwO thewe? 
>w< WODEWIGO. Signyiow, >_> is aww x3 youw family :33 within? 
^-^ IAGO. ^w^ Awe x3 youw x3 doows wock'd? 
x3 BWABANTIO. xDD Why? ÚwÚ Whewefowe ^w^ ask xDD you :3 this? 
^-^ IAGO. ^w^ 'Zounds, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ you'we robb'd! For UwU shame, put on x3 youw x3 gown; 
uWu Youw >_< heawt >_> is burst, xDD you uWu have wost half x3 youw ^.^ souw; 
Even now, now, xDD vewy now, >w< an ;;w;; owd black :33 wam 
Is >_> tupping x3 youw ^-^ white uWu ewe. Awise, xDD awise! 
Awake x3 the >_> snyowting :3 citizens with x3 the OwO beww, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse x3 the ^.^ deviw xDD wiww >_< make :3 a >_> gwandsiwe of OwO you. 
Awise, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
x3 BWABANTIO. What, uWu have xDD you wost x3 youw wits? 
>w< WODEWIGO. :3 Most reverend signior, UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 my :33 voice? 
x3 BWABANTIO. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ I. >_> What OwO awe you? 
>w< WODEWIGO. OwO My xDD nyame >_> is :3 Wodewigo. 
x3 BWABANTIO. uWu The >_> wowsew x3 wewcome. 
UwU I uWu have UwU chawged uWu thee nyot to >_> haunt about x3 my x3 doows. 
^w^ In xDD honyest >_< pwainnyess xDD thou x3 hast heard ;;w;; me >_> say 
OwO My daughter >_> is nyot fow ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and now, uWu in xDD madnyess, 
uWu Being full of OwO suppew ÚwÚ and ^.^ distempewing ÚwÚ dwaughts, 
>_> Upon :3 mawicious bwavewy, dost xDD thou come 
;;w;; To start x3 my ÚwÚ quiet. 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU Siw, ^w^ siw, >_< siw- 
x3 BWABANTIO. OwO But xDD thou ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be >_< suwe 
OwO My ^w^ spiwit ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 pwace uWu have uWu in them powew 
;;w;; To >_< make ÚwÚ this UwU bittew to thee. 
>w< WODEWIGO. >w< Patience, ÚwÚ good sir. 
x3 BWABANTIO. >_> What ^.^ teww'st xDD thou ;;w;; me of wobbing? This >_> is Venice; 
OwO My ;;w;; house >_> is nyot :3 a :3 gwange. 
>w< WODEWIGO. :3 Most :3 gwave >w< Bwabantio, 
^w^ In :33 simpwe ÚwÚ and puwe :3 souw UwU I come to OwO you. 
^-^ IAGO. ^w^ 'Zounds, ^w^ siw, xDD you OwO awe one of UwU those :3 that xDD wiww nyot serve :33 God, 
>_> if x3 the ^.^ deviw bid OwO you. >_< Because ^.^ we come to UwU do xDD you OwO sewvice ÚwÚ and xDD you 
think ^.^ we OwO awe x3 wuffians, you'ww uWu have x3 youw daughter covered with :3 a 
Bawbawy :33 howse; you'ww uWu have x3 youw x3 nyephews nyeigh to uWu you; you'ww uWu have 
couwsews fow >w< cousins, ÚwÚ and >_< gennyets fow germans. 
x3 BWABANTIO. >_> What uWu pwofanye uWu wwetch awt thou? 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I ^w^ am one, ^w^ siw, :3 that x3 comes to tell xDD you x3 youw daughter ÚwÚ and x3 the 
Moor OwO awe nyow x3 making x3 the beast with >w< two :3 backs. 
x3 BWABANTIO. ^.^ Thou OwO awe :3 a villain. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> You awe- :3 a senyatow. 
x3 BWABANTIO. This xDD thou shalt answer; UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ thee, :3 Wodewigo. 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU Siw, UwU I xDD wiww answew x3 anything. But, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
>_> If't be x3 youw :3 pweasuwe ÚwÚ and UwU most uWu wise ^.^ consent, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; pawtwy UwU I find >w< it ;;w;; is, :3 that x3 youw >w< faiw ^w^ daughtew, 
At ÚwÚ this x3 odd-even ÚwÚ and dull ;;w;; watch ^.^ o' x3 the night, 
;;w;; Twanspowted with nyo xDD wowse nor xDD bettew xDD guawd 
OwO But with :3 a x3 knyave of ^w^ common hiwe, :3 a gondowiew, 
;;w;; To x3 the gwoss ;;w;; cwasps of :3 a OwO wascivious Moow- 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be ÚwÚ knyown to UwU you, ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_< awwowance, 
We xDD then uWu have donye xDD you bold ÚwÚ and ^w^ saucy wwongs; 
OwO But >_> if xDD you ^.^ knyow nyot uWu this, x3 my ^w^ mannyews tell ;;w;; me 
We uWu have x3 youw wrong ^-^ webuke. Do nyot ^-^ bewieve 
^.^ That, from x3 the sense of aww :3 civiwity, 
UwU I OwO thus ^.^ wouwd :33 pway ÚwÚ and xDD twifwe with x3 youw ^w^ wevewence. 
uWu Youw ^w^ daughtew, >_> if xDD you uWu have nyot UwU given her weave, 
UwU I >_> say OwO again, hath UwU made :3 a gwoss >_> wevowt, 
uWu Tying her >_< duty, >w< beauty, ^w^ wit, ÚwÚ and fowtunyes 
^w^ In >w< an >w< extwavagant ÚwÚ and wheewing stwangew 
Of OwO hewe ÚwÚ and :3 evewywhewe. UwU Stwaight satisfy ^-^ youwsewf: 
;;w;; If ^.^ she be uWu in her x3 chambew ow x3 youw house, 
Let ;;w;; woose on ;;w;; me x3 the justice of x3 the >w< state 
For OwO thus ^-^ dewuding OwO you. 
x3 BWABANTIO. OwO Stwike on x3 the tindew, ho! 
Give ;;w;; me :3 a taper! ;;w;; Caww x3 up aww x3 my >_> peopwe! 
This :33 accident >_> is nyot ^-^ unwike x3 my dream; 
Bewief of >w< it ^-^ oppwesses ;;w;; me >_< awweady. 
^-^ Wight, UwU I say, wight! uWu Exit abuv. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU Faweweww, fow UwU I ^w^ must OwO weave OwO you. 
^.^ It ;;w;; seems nyot ^w^ meet, nor whowesome to x3 my pwace, 
;;w;; To be produced- as, >_> if UwU I ;;w;; stay, UwU I shaww- 
^w^ Against x3 the Moow; fow UwU I UwU do knyow, x3 the state, 
UwU Howevew ÚwÚ this OwO may ^.^ gaww ^.^ him with x3 some check, 
UwU Cannyot with :33 safety ;;w;; cast :3 him, fow uWu he's embawk'd 
With xDD such ÚwÚ woud reason to x3 the OwO Cypwus ^-^ waws, 
>_< Which even nyow >w< stands uWu in ;;w;; act, :3 that, fow uWu theiw souws, 
ÚwÚ Anyothew of :33 his OwO fathom ;;w;; they uWu have >_< nyonye 
;;w;; To lead uWu theiw ^.^ businyess; uWu in which regard, 
;;w;; Though UwU I UwU do ^-^ hate ^.^ him >_< as UwU I UwU do heww pains, 
ÚwÚ Yet fow ;;w;; nyecessity of xDD pwesent :3 wife, 
UwU I ^w^ must x3 show x3 out :3 a flag ÚwÚ and xDD sign of xDD wuv, 
>_< Which >_> is ÚwÚ indeed >_> but sign. :33 That xDD you UwU shaww x3 suwewy find :3 him, 
xDD Wead to x3 the Sagittawy x3 the ^w^ waised :3 seawch, 
xDD And there xDD wiww UwU I be with ^.^ him. ^w^ So farewell. ÚwÚ Exit. 

OwO Entew, bewow, >w< Bwabantio, uWu in :33 his nightgown, ÚwÚ and 
Servants with xDD towches. 

x3 BWABANTIO. ^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too true >w< an ^.^ eviw: >_> gonye ^.^ she ;;w;; is, 
xDD And UwU what's to come of x3 my :3 despised time 
Is >_< nyought >_> but >_> bittewnyess. >_> Nyow, Roderigo, 
Whewe :33 didst xDD thou >_> see OwO hew? x3 O xDD unhappy ÚwÚ giww! 
With x3 the uWu Moow, say'st thou? Who ^.^ wouwd be :3 a ;;w;; fathew! 
How :33 didst xDD thou ^.^ knyow uWu 'twas >_< she? >_< O, ^.^ she uWu deceives ;;w;; me 
^w^ Past ^w^ thought! >_> What uWu said ^.^ she to you? >_< Get ^.^ mowe ^w^ tapews. 
Waise aww x3 my xDD kindwed. ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they >w< mawwied, think you? 
>w< WODEWIGO. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU I think ;;w;; they x3 awe. 
x3 BWABANTIO. x3 O :3 heaven! How ^w^ got ^.^ she out? x3 O UwU tweason of x3 the UwU bwood! 
Fathews, from >w< hence :33 twust nyot x3 youw >_> daughtews' minds 
^-^ By >_> what xDD you >_> see them act. Is there nyot chawms 
^-^ By which x3 the uWu pwopewty of :33 youth ÚwÚ and *pokes you* maidhood 
^-^ May be OwO abused? :3 Have xDD you nyot wead, Roderigo, 
Of x3 some xDD such ;;w;; thing? 
>w< WODEWIGO. Yes, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu have indeed. 
x3 BWABANTIO. ;;w;; Caww x3 up x3 my ^-^ bwothew. >_< O, ^.^ wouwd xDD you xDD had xDD had >_> hew! 
;;w;; Some one :3 way, x3 some anyothew. Do xDD you ^.^ knyow 
Whewe ^.^ we OwO may >_< appwehend her ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< Moow? 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I think UwU I ^.^ can OwO discuvw :3 him, >_> if xDD you uWu pwease 
;;w;; To get ÚwÚ good xDD guawd ÚwÚ and OwO go :3 awong with x3 me. 
x3 BWABANTIO. >_> Pway UwU you, lead :3 on. At every ;;w;; house I'll call; 
UwU I OwO may ÚwÚ command uWu at :3 most. >_< Get ^.^ weapons, ho! 
xDD And >w< waise x3 some >_> speciaw ^w^ officews of OwO nyight. 
ÚwÚ On, ÚwÚ good Roderigo, I'll OwO desewve x3 youw OwO pains. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew :33 stweet. 

Entew :33 Othewwo, >w< Iago, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Attendants with xDD towches. 

^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; Though uWu in x3 the OwO twade of >w< waw UwU I uWu have :3 swain men, 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU do UwU I howd >w< it xDD vewy ^w^ stuff ^.^ o' x3 the >_> conscience 
;;w;; To UwU do nyo contrived muwthew. UwU I ^.^ wack >w< inyiquity 
Sometimes to UwU do ;;w;; me service. Nine ow ;;w;; ten times 
UwU I xDD had xDD thought to uWu have yerk'd ^.^ him OwO hewe :33 undew x3 the UwU wibs. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. 'Tis xDD bettew >_< as >w< it >w< is. 
^-^ IAGO. Nyay, >_> but ^.^ he prated 
xDD And ^-^ spoke xDD such ^.^ scuwvy ÚwÚ and provoking terms 
^w^ Against x3 youw honyow 
^.^ That, with x3 the xDD wittwe godwinyess UwU I have, 
UwU I uWu did full x3 hawd ÚwÚ fowbeaw ^.^ him. OwO But UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
^w^ Awe xDD you ÚwÚ fast uWu mawwied? ^w^ Be assured of uWu this, 
:33 That x3 the >_> magnyifico >_> is much ;;w;; bewuvd, 
xDD And hath uWu in :33 his ^w^ effect :3 a uWu voice potential 
;;w;; As :3 doubwe >_< as x3 the x3 Duke's. >w< He xDD wiww :3 divowce UwU you, 
:33 Ow put ;;w;; upon xDD you >_> what :3 westwaint ÚwÚ and gwievance 
uWu The waw, with aww :33 his ^w^ might to enforce >w< it ;;w;; on, 
Will UwU give ^.^ him ^.^ cabwe. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Let ^.^ him UwU do :33 his spite. 
OwO My ;;w;; sewvices, which UwU I uWu have donye x3 the xDD signyiowy, 
Shall >w< out-tongue :33 his ^-^ compwaints. 'Tis yet to UwU knyow- 
>_< Which, when UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 that >_< boasting >_> is >w< an honyow, 
UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ pwomuwgate- UwU I :3 fetch x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and ^.^ being 
Fwom ;;w;; men of royal >_< siege, ÚwÚ and x3 my demerits 
^-^ May speak :3 unbonnyeted to >_< as OwO pwoud :3 a :3 fowtunye 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this :3 that UwU I uWu have uWu weach'd. For knyow, >w< Iago, 
OwO But :3 that UwU I wuv x3 the ^-^ gentwe >w< Desdemonya, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot x3 my unhoused fwee condition 
>_> Put x3 into circumscription ÚwÚ and UwU confinye 
For x3 the x3 sea's uWu wowth. But, look! >_> What wights come uWu yond? 
^-^ IAGO. >w< Those OwO awe x3 the ^w^ waised >w< fathew ÚwÚ and :33 his fwiends. 
>_> You :3 wewe best OwO go ^.^ in. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 I; UwU I ^w^ must be uWu found. 
OwO My xDD pawts, x3 my :3 titwe, ÚwÚ and x3 my :3 pewfect :3 souw 
Shall UwU manyifest ;;w;; me wightwy. Is >w< it >w< they? 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ By >w< Janyus, UwU I think >w< nyo. 

Entew OwO Cassio ÚwÚ and xDD cewtain :3 Officews with xDD towches. 

ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu The :3 sewvants of x3 the Duke? xDD And x3 my wieutenyant? 
uWu The xDD goodnyess of x3 the >w< nyight ;;w;; upon UwU you, ÚwÚ fwiends! 
>_> What >_> is x3 the nyews? 
>_< CASSIO. uWu The >w< Duke does x3 gweet UwU you, general, 
xDD And ^.^ he uWu wequiwes x3 youw :33 haste-post-haste ^-^ appeawance, 
Even on x3 the ^.^ instant. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< mattew, think you? 
>_< CASSIO. xDD Something from Cypwus, >_< as UwU I OwO may ^w^ divinye; 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a business of x3 some x3 heat. uWu The galleys 
:3 Have sent :3 a ^.^ dozen sequent xDD messengews 
This xDD vewy >w< nyight uWu at one another's heews; 
xDD And UwU many of x3 the consuls, ^w^ waised ÚwÚ and :3 met, 
^w^ Awe uWu at x3 the Duke's >_< awweady. >_> You uWu have :33 been hotly ^w^ caww'd for, 
UwU When, ^.^ being nyot uWu at x3 youw ;;w;; wodging to be >_> found, 
uWu The :33 Senyate hath sent about >w< thwee sevewaw :33 quests 
;;w;; To ^-^ seawch xDD you OwO out. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. 'Tis weww UwU I ^w^ am >_> found ^.^ by OwO you. 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> but spend :3 a ;;w;; wowd OwO hewe uWu in x3 the ;;w;; house 
xDD And OwO go with OwO you. ÚwÚ Exit. 
>_< CASSIO. >_< Ancient, >_> what x3 makes ^.^ he hewe? 
^-^ IAGO. Faith, ^.^ he :3 tonyight hath boawded :3 a ÚwÚ wand carack; 
;;w;; If >w< it ^-^ pwuv ÚwÚ wawfuw :33 pwize, uWu he's UwU made OwO fowevew. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I UwU do nyot :33 undewstand. 
^-^ IAGO. He's mawwied. 
>_< CASSIO. ;;w;; To >_> who? 

^.^ We-entew OwO Othewwo. 

^-^ IAGO. OwO Mawwy, xDD to- ^.^ Come, ;;w;; captain, xDD wiww xDD you >w< go? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Have with OwO you. 
>_< CASSIO. :3 Hewe x3 comes anyothew troop to >_> seek fow OwO you. 
^-^ IAGO. ^.^ It >_> is Brabantio. Genyewaw, be OwO advised, 
>w< He x3 comes to :33 bad >w< intent. 

Entew >w< Bwabantio, Roderigo, ÚwÚ and :3 Officews with torches 
ÚwÚ and uWu weapons. 

ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Holla! ;;w;; Stand thewe! 
>w< WODEWIGO. Signyiow, >w< it >_> is x3 the Moow. 
x3 BWABANTIO. xDD Down with :3 him, ;;w;; thief! 
^-^ They dwaw on both :3 sides. 
^-^ IAGO. >_< You, ÚwÚ Wodewigo! ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^w^ am fow OwO you. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^w^ Keep x3 up x3 youw uWu bwight swowds, fow x3 the :33 dew xDD wiww ^w^ wust OwO them. 
^-^ Good signior, xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ command with years 
Than with x3 youw uWu weapons. 
x3 BWABANTIO. x3 O xDD thou fouw :33 thief, :3 whewe x3 hast xDD thou ^.^ stow'd x3 my daughter? 
>_< Damn'd >_< as xDD thou awt, xDD thou x3 hast ^-^ enchanted hew, 
For I'll :3 wefew ;;w;; me to aww ^.^ things of sense, 
;;w;; If ^.^ she uWu in >_> chains of >w< magic :3 wewe nyot xDD bound, 
Whethew :3 a >_< maid UwU so ÚwÚ tendew, faiw, ÚwÚ and UwU happy, 
^w^ So opposite to ^.^ mawwiage :3 that ^.^ she ;;w;; shunn'd 
uWu The weawthy, cuwwed darlings of UwU ouw ^-^ nyation, 
Wouwd OwO evew have, to :3 incuw :3 a general >w< mock, 
OwO Wun from her guawdage to x3 the :33 sooty ^w^ bosom 
Of xDD such :3 a ^.^ thing >_< as ^w^ thou- to ;;w;; feaw, nyot to delight. 
xDD Judge ;;w;; me x3 the ^w^ wowwd, >_> if UwU 'tis nyot gwoss uWu in sense 
:33 That xDD thou x3 hast OwO pwacticed on her with fouw ÚwÚ chawms, 
OwO Abused her xDD dewicate :33 youth with drugs ow :3 minyewaws 
:33 That ^-^ weaken ;;w;; motion. I'll have't disputed xDD on; 
'Tis pwobabwe, ÚwÚ and >_< pawpabwe to ÚwÚ thinking. 
UwU I >_< thewefowe >_< appwehend ÚwÚ and UwU do OwO attach uWu thee 
For >w< an abuser of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, :3 a >_> pwacticew 
Of >w< awts >w< inhibited ÚwÚ and x3 out of ;;w;; wawwant. 
Way howd ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. ;;w;; If ^.^ he UwU do wesist, 
Subdue ^.^ him uWu at :33 his ÚwÚ pewiw. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :33 Howd x3 youw ^.^ hands, 
UwU Both xDD you of x3 my :33 incwinying ÚwÚ and x3 the rest. 
^.^ Wewe >w< it x3 my :33 cue to x3 fight, UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have ÚwÚ knyown >w< it 
Without :3 a ÚwÚ pwomptew. Whewe xDD wiww xDD you :3 that UwU I OwO go 
;;w;; To answew ÚwÚ this x3 youw charge? 
x3 BWABANTIO. ;;w;; To pwison, >w< tiww ;;w;; fit time 
Of law ÚwÚ and course of direct OwO session 
;;w;; Caww uWu thee to answer. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What >_> if UwU I UwU do obey? 
How OwO may x3 the >w< Duke be OwO thewewith satisfied, 
>_< Whose xDD messengews OwO awe OwO hewe about x3 my side, 
>_> Upon x3 some xDD pwesent business of x3 the >w< state 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me to him? 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. 'Tis ^-^ twue, UwU most ÚwÚ wowthy ^.^ signyiow; 
uWu The Duke's uWu in ;;w;; counciw, ÚwÚ and x3 youw x3 nyobwe ;;w;; sewf, 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, >_> is sent ;;w;; fow. 
x3 BWABANTIO. ÚwÚ How? uWu The >w< Duke uWu in >_> counciw? 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this time of x3 the night? Bring ^.^ him :3 away; 
OwO Minye's nyot >w< an idle OwO cause. uWu The >w< Duke himsewf, 
:33 Ow xDD any of x3 my bwothews of x3 the state, 
UwU Cannyot >_> but x3 feew ÚwÚ this wrong >_< as >w< 'twewe uWu theiw >_> own; 
For >_> if xDD such ;;w;; actions OwO may uWu have uWu passage >w< fwee, 
UwU Bond xDD swaves ÚwÚ and uWu pagans UwU shaww UwU ouw uWu statesmen >w< be. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A council ^.^ chambew. uWu The >w< Duke ÚwÚ and Senators :3 sitting uWu at :3 a table; 
:3 Officews attending. 

x3 DUKE. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo composition uWu in these nyews 
:33 That ;;w;; gives them >w< cwedit. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. :33 Indeed ;;w;; they OwO awe disproportion'd; 
OwO My x3 wettews >_> say :3 a :3 hundwed ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ seven galleys. 
x3 DUKE. xDD And >_> minye, :3 a :3 hundwed ÚwÚ and UwU fowty. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. xDD And >_> minye, >w< two >_> hundwed. 
OwO But ^w^ though ;;w;; they x3 jump nyot on :3 a >w< just x3 account- 
;;w;; As uWu in these ;;w;; cases, :3 whewe x3 the aim reports, 
'Tis ;;w;; oft with difference- yet UwU do ;;w;; they aww :33 confiwm 
^-^ A Turkish >_< fweet, ÚwÚ and :33 beawing x3 up to :3 Cypwus. 
x3 DUKE. Nyay, >w< it >_> is OwO possibwe enough to OwO judgement. 
UwU I UwU do nyot UwU so ^.^ secuwe ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the error, 
OwO But x3 the :33 main uWu awticwe UwU I UwU do approve 
^w^ In x3 feawfuw ÚwÚ sense. 
SAIWOW. ^.^ [Within.] What, ho! What, ho! What, ho! 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. ^-^ A :3 messengew from x3 the galleys. 

Entew Sailor. 

x3 DUKE. >_> Nyow, UwU what's x3 the ;;w;; businyess? 
SAIWOW. uWu The Turkish uWu pwepawation x3 makes fow OwO Whodes, 
^w^ So UwU was UwU I bid wepowt OwO hewe to x3 the >w< state 
^-^ By :33 Signyiow Angewo. 
x3 DUKE. How >_> say xDD you ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ;;w;; change? 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. This ;;w;; cannyot be, 
^-^ By nyo OwO assay of UwU weason; UwU 'tis :3 a pageant 
;;w;; To >_< keep >_> us uWu in UwU fawse ^-^ gaze. x3 When ^.^ we OwO considew 
uWu The :3 impowtancy of OwO Cypwus to x3 the ÚwÚ Tuwk, 
xDD And wet ouwsewves again >_> but understand 
:33 That >_< as >w< it ^.^ mowe uWu concewns x3 the ^w^ Tuwk than OwO Whodes, 
^w^ So OwO may ^.^ he with ^.^ mowe faciwe ;;w;; question UwU beaw :33 it, 
For :3 that >w< it >w< stands nyot uWu in xDD such warlike uWu bwace, 
OwO But ;;w;; awtogethew lacks x3 the abilities 
:33 That :3 Whodes >_> is dwess'd ^.^ in. ;;w;; If ^.^ we >_< make xDD thought of uWu this, 
We ^w^ must nyot think x3 the ^w^ Tuwk >_> is UwU so ^.^ unskiwwfuw 
;;w;; To OwO weave :3 that ^-^ watest which uWu concewns ^.^ him ÚwÚ fiwst, 
Neglecting >w< an x3 attempt of ^w^ ease ÚwÚ and :33 gain, 
;;w;; To wake ÚwÚ and xDD wage :3 a danger :33 pwofitwess. 
x3 DUKE. Nyay, uWu in aww confidence, uWu he's nyot fow uWu Whodes. 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. :3 Hewe >_> is ^.^ mowe ;;w;; nyews. 

Entew :3 a Messengew. 

x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The ^-^ Ottomites, reverend ÚwÚ and ^w^ gwacious, 
Steewing with >_< due course toward x3 the isle of OwO Whodes, 
:3 Have there injointed them with >w< an ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; fweet. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Ay, UwU so UwU I thought. How UwU many, >_< as xDD you OwO guess? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Of ;;w;; thiwty sail; ÚwÚ and nyow ;;w;; they UwU do xDD we-stem 
^-^ Theiw uWu backwawd course, :33 beawing with xDD fwank xDD appeawance 
^-^ Theiw uWu puwposes toward :3 Cypwus. :33 Signyiow :33 Montanyo, 
uWu Youw trusty ÚwÚ and UwU most uWu vawiant x3 sewvitow, 
With :33 his fwee >_> duty recommends xDD you thus, 
xDD And prays xDD you to ^-^ bewieve ^.^ him. 
x3 DUKE. 'Tis xDD cewtain xDD then fow :3 Cypwus. 
x3 Mawcus Wuccicos, >_> is nyot ^.^ he uWu in >_< town? 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. He's nyow uWu in Fwowence. 
x3 DUKE. :3 Wwite from >_> us to :3 him, >_> post-post-haste dispatch. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. :3 Hewe x3 comes Brabantio ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu vawiant Moow. 

Entew >w< Bwabantio, :33 Othewwo, >w< Iago, Roderigo, ÚwÚ and ^.^ Officews. 

x3 DUKE. ;;w;; Vawiant :33 Othewwo, ^.^ we ^w^ must ^w^ stwaight :33 empwoy xDD you 
^w^ Against x3 the general ;;w;; enyemy Ottoman. 
:33 [To Bwabantio.] UwU I uWu did nyot >_> see uWu you; ;;w;; wewcome, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ signyiow; 
We wack'd x3 youw counsel ÚwÚ and x3 youw OwO hewp tonight. 
x3 BWABANTIO. ^w^ So uWu did UwU I x3 youws. ^-^ Good x3 youw >_> Gwace, UwU pawdon ;;w;; me: 
>_> Nyeithew x3 my :33 pwace nor ^.^ aught UwU I heard of business 
>_< Hath ^w^ waised ;;w;; me from x3 my ^.^ bed, nor xDD doth x3 the general :3 cawe 
^.^ Take howd on OwO me; fow x3 my xDD pawticuwaw grief 
Is of UwU so ^-^ fwood-gate ÚwÚ and o'erbearing ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
:33 That >w< it engwuts ÚwÚ and x3 swawwows othew sowwows, 
xDD And >w< it >_> is still itself. 
x3 DUKE. Why, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
x3 BWABANTIO. OwO My daughter! >_< O, x3 my daughter! 
uWu AWW. ÚwÚ Dead? 
x3 BWABANTIO. Ay, to x3 me. 
:33 She >_> is abused, :3 stow'n from ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and cowwupted 
^-^ By spewws ÚwÚ and :33 medicinyes xDD bought of ^.^ mountebanks; 
For ÚwÚ nyatuwe UwU so ^w^ pwepostewouswy to >w< eww, 
uWu Being nyot xDD deficient, ÚwÚ bwind, ow :3 wame of sense, 
x3 Sans uWu witchcwaft couwd not. 
x3 DUKE. Whoe'er ^.^ he be :3 that uWu in ÚwÚ this fouw proceeding 
>_< Hath OwO thus beguiwed x3 youw daughter of herself 
xDD And xDD you of hew, x3 the bwoody ^w^ book of law 
>_> You UwU shaww >_> youwsewf ^w^ wead uWu in x3 the UwU bittew >_> wettew 
>w< Aftew x3 youw UwU own sense, >w< yea, ^w^ though UwU ouw OwO pwopew >_< son 
^w^ Stood uWu in x3 youw OwO action. 
x3 BWABANTIO. >_> Humbwy UwU I >_> thank x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 the ^w^ man, ÚwÚ this uWu Moow, ÚwÚ whom now, >w< it seems, 
uWu Youw >_> speciaw xDD mandate fow x3 the >w< state affairs 
>_< Hath ÚwÚ hithew ^-^ bwought. 
uWu AWW. We OwO awe xDD vewy sowwy xDD fow't. 
x3 DUKE. :33 [To :3 Othewwo.] >_> What uWu in x3 youw UwU own ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ can xDD you >_> say to :3 this? 
x3 BWABANTIO. UwU Nyothing, >_> but ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 so. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Most x3 potent, ^-^ gwave, ÚwÚ and reverend signyiows, 
OwO My xDD vewy x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and appwuvd ÚwÚ good mastews, 
:33 That UwU I uWu have >_> ta'en OwO away ÚwÚ this ;;w;; owd :33 man's ^w^ daughtew, 
^.^ It >_> is UwU most true; ^-^ twue, UwU I uWu have mawwied >w< hew; 
uWu The xDD vewy >_> head ÚwÚ and >w< fwont of x3 my offending 
>_< Hath ÚwÚ this x3 extent, nyo more. uWu Wude ^w^ am UwU I uWu in x3 my ;;w;; speech, 
xDD And xDD wittwe bwest with x3 the soft phrase of :3 peace; 
For xDD since these :3 awms of >_< minye xDD had ÚwÚ seven >_> yeaws' ;;w;; pith, 
Tiww nyow x3 some >w< nyinye UwU moons ;;w;; wasted, ;;w;; they uWu have used 
^-^ Theiw deawest uWu action uWu in x3 the ^w^ tented >_> fiewd, 
xDD And xDD wittwe of ÚwÚ this great wowwd ^.^ can UwU I :3 speak, 
uWu Mowe than pewtains to ^w^ feats of ^w^ bwoiw ÚwÚ and uWu battwe; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe xDD wittwe UwU shaww UwU I xDD gwace x3 my cause 
^w^ In speaking fow :3 mysewf. Yet, ^.^ by x3 youw >_> gwacious patience, 
UwU I xDD wiww :3 a ;;w;; wound x3 unvawnyish'd xDD tawe ÚwÚ dewivew 
Of x3 my whole course of love: >_> what dwugs, >_> what ÚwÚ chawms, 
>_> What conjuration, ÚwÚ and >_> what ^-^ mighty :33 magic- 
For xDD such proceeding UwU I ^w^ am UwU chawged withaw- 
UwU I ^.^ won :33 his >w< daughtew. 
x3 BWABANTIO. ^-^ A >_< maiden >_< nyevew >w< bowd, 
Of ^w^ spiwit UwU so still ÚwÚ and :33 quiet :3 that her >_> motion 
Blush'd uWu at ^w^ hewsewf; ÚwÚ and she- uWu in x3 spite of nyatuwe, 
Of years, of country, ^.^ cwedit, uWu evewything- 
;;w;; To faww uWu in wuv with >_> what ^.^ she feaw'd to wook on! 
^.^ It >_> is ^w^ judgement ;;w;; maim'd ÚwÚ and UwU most impewfect, 
:33 That xDD wiww x3 confess pewfection UwU so couwd OwO eww 
^w^ Against aww wuwes of nyatuwe, ÚwÚ and ^w^ must be driven 
;;w;; To find x3 out pwactices of x3 cunnying heww 
Why ÚwÚ this >_> shouwd >w< be. UwU I >_< thewefowe ÚwÚ vouch again 
:33 That with x3 some ÚwÚ mixtuwes powerful ^-^ o'ew x3 the bwood, 
:33 Ow with x3 some UwU dwam >_< conjuwed to ÚwÚ this xDD effect, 
>w< He ;;w;; wwought ;;w;; upon her. 
x3 DUKE. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ vouch ÚwÚ this >_> is nyo uWu pwoof, 
Without ^.^ mowe xDD cewtain ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe ^-^ uvwt test 
Than these >_< thin :3 habits ÚwÚ and poor wikewihoods 
Of modern ÚwÚ seeming UwU do prefer OwO against ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. But, :33 Othewwo, >_< speak. 
Did xDD you ^.^ by ^.^ indiwect ÚwÚ and xDD fowced ;;w;; couwses 
Subdue ÚwÚ and x3 poison ÚwÚ this xDD young maid's ^.^ affections? 
:33 Ow ^-^ came >w< it ^.^ by ÚwÚ wequest, ÚwÚ and xDD such >w< faiw ;;w;; question 
;;w;; As :3 souw to :3 souw UwU affowdeth? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, 
>_< Send fow x3 the uWu wady to x3 the x3 Sagittawy, 
xDD And wet her speak of ;;w;; me >w< befowe her :33 fathew. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do find ;;w;; me fouw uWu in her wepowt, 
uWu The ^w^ twust, x3 the ^.^ office UwU I UwU do howd of UwU you, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< onwy OwO take away, >_> but wet x3 youw :33 sentence 
Even faww ;;w;; upon x3 my life. 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ Fetch Desdemona hithew. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< Ancient, ÚwÚ conduct OwO them; xDD you best ^.^ knyow x3 the ;;w;; pwace. 
Exeunt OwO Iago ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 
xDD And >w< tiww ^.^ she come, >_< as :33 twuwy >_< as to heaven 
UwU I UwU do x3 confess x3 the OwO vices of x3 my bwood, 
^w^ So >_< justwy to x3 youw :3 gwave OwO eaws I'll xDD pwesent 
How UwU I uWu did x3 thwive uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< faiw >_> wady's wuv 
xDD And ^.^ she uWu in ^w^ minye. 
x3 DUKE. x3 Say :33 it, OwO Othewwo. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Hew >w< fathew xDD wuvd uWu me, ;;w;; oft >w< invited uWu me, 
UwU Stiww question'd ;;w;; me x3 the ^-^ stowy of x3 my >w< wife 
Fwom xDD yeaw to >w< yeaw, x3 the ^w^ battwes, :33 sieges, fortunes, 
:33 That UwU I uWu have xDD pass'd. 
UwU I wan >w< it :33 thwough, even from x3 my boyish OwO days 
;;w;; To x3 the xDD vewy x3 moment :3 that ^.^ he ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me tell >w< it: 
^-^ Whewein UwU I x3 spake of UwU most uWu disastwous >w< chances, 
Of >w< moving accidents ^.^ by flood ÚwÚ and >_> fiewd, 
Of uWu haiw-bweadth >w< 'scapes :33 i' x3 the imminyent deadwy OwO bweach, 
Of ^.^ being :33 taken ^.^ by x3 the UwU insowent foe 
xDD And sold to swavewy, of x3 my wedemption thence 
xDD And >_< powtance uWu in x3 my >w< twavews' history; 
^-^ Whewein of :3 antwes >_> vast ÚwÚ and deserts idwe, 
^-^ Wough quarries, UwU wocks, ÚwÚ and >w< hiwws x3 whose heads :33 touch ^.^ heaven, 
^.^ It UwU was x3 my hint to speak- xDD such UwU was x3 the pwocess- 
xDD And of x3 the Cannyibaws :3 that >_< each othew uWu eat, 
uWu The Anthropophagi, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men x3 whose heads 
Do gwow >_< benyeath uWu theiw shoulders. This to hear 
Wouwd Desdemona sewiouswy xDD incwinye; 
OwO But still x3 the ;;w;; house affairs ^.^ wouwd dwaw her thence, 
>_< Which OwO evew >_< as ^.^ she couwd with ^.^ haste >_> dispatch, 
>_> She'wd come OwO again, ÚwÚ and with :3 a gweedy ear 
Devouw x3 up x3 my >_> discouwse; which UwU I x3 obsewving, 
>w< Took >_> once :3 a pliant ^-^ houw, ÚwÚ and >_> found ÚwÚ good means 
;;w;; To dwaw from her :3 a :3 pwayew of xDD eawnyest >_< heawt 
:33 That UwU I ^.^ wouwd aww x3 my pilgrimage diwate, 
:3 Wheweof ^.^ by x3 pawcews ^.^ she xDD had ^-^ something ^-^ heawd, 
OwO But nyot intentively. UwU I uWu did ^.^ consent, 
xDD And often uWu did beguile her of her tears 
x3 When UwU I uWu did speak of x3 some distressful ^w^ stwoke 
:33 That x3 my :33 youth ^.^ suffew'd. OwO My ^-^ stowy ^.^ being :33 donye, 
:33 She uWu gave ;;w;; me fow x3 my ^w^ pains :3 a wowwd of >_> sighs; 
:33 She ^w^ swowe, uWu in ^w^ faith, uWu 'twas >_> stwange, uWu 'twas passing :3 stwange; 
>_< 'Twas >_< pitifuw, uWu 'twas wondwous ÚwÚ pitifuw. 
:33 She >w< wish'd ^.^ she xDD had nyot heard :33 it, yet ^.^ she >w< wish'd 
:33 That heaven xDD had UwU made her xDD such :3 a xDD man; ^.^ she ;;w;; thank'd uWu me, 
xDD And ;;w;; bade uWu me, >_> if UwU I xDD had :3 a :33 fwiend :3 that xDD wuvd hew, 
UwU I >_> shouwd >_> but >_< teach ^.^ him >w< how to tell x3 my story, 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ wouwd ^.^ woo her. >_> Upon ÚwÚ this hint UwU I uWu spake: 
:33 She xDD wuvd ;;w;; me fow x3 the >_> dangews UwU I xDD had ^-^ pass'd, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wuvd her :3 that ^.^ she uWu did pity OwO them. 
This >w< onwy >_> is x3 the uWu witchcwaft UwU I uWu have ^.^ used. 
:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the ;;w;; wady; wet her >_> witnyess :3 it. 

Entew >w< Desdemonya, >w< Iago, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

x3 DUKE. UwU I think ÚwÚ this xDD tawe ^.^ wouwd x3 win x3 my daughter UwU too. 
^-^ Good >w< Bwabantio, 
^.^ Take x3 up ÚwÚ this OwO mangwed ;;w;; mattew uWu at x3 the :3 best: 
OwO Men UwU do uWu theiw xDD bwoken >_< weapons rather use 
Than uWu theiw OwO bawe ^w^ hands. 
x3 BWABANTIO. UwU I pray UwU you, hear her >_< speak. 
;;w;; If ^.^ she x3 confess :3 that ^.^ she UwU was half x3 the ÚwÚ wooew, 
Destruction on x3 my head, >_> if x3 my :33 bad uWu bwame 
Light on x3 the ;;w;; man! :3 Come hithew, ^-^ gentwe ^w^ mistwess. 
Do xDD you >_> pewceive uWu in aww ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe >_< company 
Whewe UwU most xDD you >_> owe :3 obedience? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO My x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ fathew, 
UwU I UwU do >_> pewceive OwO hewe :3 a OwO divided duty. 
;;w;; To xDD you UwU I ^w^ am bound fow >w< wife ÚwÚ and ;;w;; education; 
OwO My >w< wife ÚwÚ and education both UwU do :3 weawn ;;w;; me 
How to wespect uWu you; xDD you OwO awe x3 the ;;w;; wowd of >_< duty, 
UwU I ^w^ am >_> hithewto x3 youw >w< daughtew. OwO But hewe's x3 my ^.^ husband, 
xDD And UwU so much >_> duty >_< as x3 my mothew ^w^ show'd 
;;w;; To UwU you, preferring xDD you >w< befowe her ÚwÚ fathew, 
^w^ So much UwU I challenge :3 that UwU I OwO may pwofess 
>_> Due to x3 the uWu Moow, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 BWABANTIO. ^w^ God be with you! UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. 
ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw >_> Gwace, on to x3 the >w< state affaiws; 
UwU I xDD had rather to ^-^ adopt :3 a chiwd than get :3 it. 
:3 Come hithew, Moow. 
UwU I OwO hewe UwU do UwU give uWu thee :3 that with aww x3 my >_< heawt 
>_< Which, >_> but xDD thou x3 hast already, with aww x3 my >_< heawt 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< keep from thee. For x3 youw ^w^ sake, ;;w;; jewew, 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad uWu at :3 souw UwU I uWu have nyo othew child; 
For >w< thy escape ^.^ wouwd >_< teach ;;w;; me tywanny, 
;;w;; To ^w^ hang clogs on OwO them. UwU I uWu have :33 donye, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. Let ;;w;; me speak ^.^ wike yourself, ÚwÚ and uWu way :3 a :33 sentence 
>_< Which, >_< as :3 a grise ow ;;w;; step, OwO may OwO hewp these ^w^ wuvws 
^.^ Into x3 youw favow. 
x3 When remedies OwO awe past, x3 the griefs OwO awe >_< ended 
^-^ By ^-^ seeing x3 the ^.^ wowst, which wate on hopes :33 depended. 
;;w;; To mouwn :3 a ^-^ mischief :3 that >_> is x3 past ÚwÚ and >_> gonye 
Is x3 the :3 nyext uWu way to dwaw x3 nyew ^-^ mischief :3 on. 
>_> What ;;w;; cannyot be ^w^ pwesewved when :33 Fowtunye ^-^ takes, 
;;w;; Patience her ^-^ injuwy :3 a mockewy makes. 
uWu The wobb'd :3 that ^-^ smiwes steals ^-^ something from x3 the ^.^ thief; 
>w< He robs >_< himsewf :3 that OwO spends :3 a bootwess ÚwÚ gwief. 
x3 BWABANTIO. ^w^ So wet x3 the ^w^ Tuwk of OwO Cypwus >_> us beguiwe; 
We wose >w< it nyot UwU so ^-^ wong >_< as ^.^ we ^.^ can smile. 
>w< He bears x3 the :33 sentence weww, :3 that >_< nyothing bears 
OwO But x3 the fwee uWu comfowt which from thence ^.^ he ;;w;; heaws; 
OwO But ^.^ he bears both x3 the :33 sentence ÚwÚ and x3 the sorrow 
^.^ That, to x3 pay gwief, ^w^ must of poor uWu patience bowwow. 
;;w;; These :33 sentences, to ^-^ sugaw ow to x3 gaww, 
uWu Being >w< stwong on both :33 sides, OwO awe equivocal. 
OwO But wowds OwO awe words; UwU I >_< nyevew yet uWu did hear 
:33 That x3 the xDD bwuised >_< heawt UwU was pierced ^w^ thwough x3 the :3 eaw. 
UwU I x3 humbwy :33 beseech UwU you, proceed to x3 the affairs of state. 
x3 DUKE. uWu The ^w^ Tuwk with :3 a UwU most ^-^ mighty uWu pwepawation x3 makes fow :3 Cypwus. 
:33 Othewwo, x3 the xDD fowtitude of x3 the :33 pwace >_> is best ÚwÚ knyown to uWu you; ÚwÚ and 
^w^ though ^.^ we uWu have there :3 a UwU substitute of UwU most UwU awwowed ^.^ sufficiency, 
yet :33 opinyion, :3 a suvweign mistwess of ^-^ effects, ^w^ thwows :3 a ^.^ mowe safer 
uWu voice on OwO you. >_> You ^w^ must >_< thewefowe be :3 content to swubbew x3 the gloss 
of x3 youw x3 nyew fowtunyes with ÚwÚ this ^.^ mowe ^-^ stubbown ÚwÚ and boisterous 
UwU expedition. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu The tyrant ^-^ custom, UwU most :3 gwave senyatows, 
>_< Hath UwU made x3 the flinty ÚwÚ and steew UwU couch of >w< waw 
OwO My ;;w;; thwice-dwiven x3 bed of down. UwU I UwU do agnyize 
^-^ A natural ÚwÚ and prompt alacrity 
UwU I find uWu in ^.^ hawdnyess ÚwÚ and UwU do undewtake 
;;w;; These xDD pwesent UwU waws OwO against x3 the x3 Ottomites. 
:3 Most x3 humbwy >_< thewefowe x3 bending to x3 youw state, 
UwU I ^w^ cwave ;;w;; fit uWu disposition fow x3 my :3 wife, 
>_> Due UwU wefewence of :33 pwace ÚwÚ and ^w^ exhibition, 
With xDD such ^-^ accommodation ÚwÚ and ^.^ besowt 
;;w;; As :3 wevews with her UwU bweeding. 
x3 DUKE. ;;w;; If xDD you please, 
^w^ Be't uWu at her fathew's. 
x3 BWABANTIO. I'll nyot uWu have >w< it :3 so. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 Nyow ^.^ I. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. x3 Nyow ^.^ I. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot there >w< weside 
;;w;; To put x3 my >w< fathew uWu in ;;w;; impatient >_< thoughts 
^-^ By ^.^ being uWu in :33 his :33 eye. :3 Most >_> gwacious ;;w;; Duke, 
;;w;; To x3 my ^-^ unfowding xDD wend x3 youw :33 pwospewous eaw, 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me find :3 a ÚwÚ chawtew uWu in x3 youw uWu voice 
;;w;; To xDD assist x3 my simpwenyess. 
x3 DUKE. >_> What ^.^ wouwd UwU you, ^w^ Desdemonya? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :33 That UwU I uWu did wuv x3 the Moor to ^w^ wive with :3 him, 
OwO My downwight x3 viowence ÚwÚ and x3 stowm of fowtunyes 
^-^ May ÚwÚ twumpet to x3 the wowwd. OwO My heart's >_> subdued 
Even to x3 the xDD vewy ;;w;; quawity of x3 my OwO wowd. 
UwU I saw Othello's >w< visage uWu in :33 his UwU mind, 
xDD And to :33 his honyows ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu vawiant parts 
Did UwU I x3 my :3 souw ÚwÚ and fowtunyes ;;w;; consecwate. 
^w^ So :3 that, uWu deaw wowds, >_> if UwU I be left behind, 
^-^ A x3 moth of ÚwÚ peace, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he OwO go to x3 the waw, 
uWu The rites fow which UwU I wuv ^.^ him OwO awe >_> beweft uWu me, 
xDD And UwU I :3 a x3 heavy intewim UwU shaww support 
^-^ By :33 his uWu deaw OwO absence. Let ;;w;; me OwO go with ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Let her uWu have x3 youw ^-^ voices. 
Vouch with uWu me, ^.^ heaven, UwU I >_< thewefowe ÚwÚ beg >w< it nyot 
;;w;; To uWu pwease x3 the palate of x3 my uWu appetite, 
x3 Nyow to :33 compwy with x3 heat- x3 the xDD young >_< affects 
^w^ In ;;w;; me defunct- ÚwÚ and OwO pwopew satisfaction; 
OwO But to be fwee ÚwÚ and ^.^ bounteous to her :33 mind. 
xDD And heaven ;;w;; defend x3 youw ÚwÚ good souws, :3 that xDD you think 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 youw sewious ÚwÚ and great business :3 scant 
For ^.^ she >_> is with x3 me. :3 Nyo, when x3 wight-wing'd :3 toys 
Of :3 feathew'd x3 Cupid seel with >_< wanton dullness 
OwO My speculative ÚwÚ and x3 officed >_< instwuments, 
:33 That x3 my OwO dispowts corrupt ÚwÚ and ^w^ taint x3 my business, 
Let xDD housewives >_< make :3 a skillet of x3 my hewm, 
xDD And aww x3 indign ÚwÚ and UwU base advewsities 
^-^ Make >_> head OwO against x3 my ^w^ estimation! 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Be >w< it >_< as xDD you UwU shaww pwivatewy >w< detewminye, 
^-^ Eithew fow her xDD stay ow uWu going. uWu The ^-^ affaiw x3 cwies xDD haste, 
xDD And ^w^ speed ^w^ must uWu answew't: xDD you ^w^ must >w< hence tonight. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Tonight, x3 my xDD wowd? 
x3 DUKE. This OwO nyight. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. With aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
x3 DUKE. At >w< nyinye :33 i' x3 the mownying OwO hewe we'll :3 meet ;;w;; again. 
:33 Othewwo, OwO weave x3 some officer behind, 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww UwU ouw OwO commission ;;w;; bwing to UwU you, 
With xDD such ^.^ things >_> ewse of ;;w;; quawity ÚwÚ and wespect 
;;w;; As xDD doth impowt OwO you. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Gwace, x3 my >_> ancient; 
^-^ A x3 man ^.^ he >_> is of honesty ÚwÚ and :33 twust. 
;;w;; To :33 his :33 conveyance UwU I assign x3 my :3 wife, 
With >_> what >_> ewse needful x3 youw ÚwÚ good Gwace UwU shaww think 
;;w;; To be sent ÚwÚ aftew x3 me. 
x3 DUKE. Let >w< it be :3 so. 
^-^ Good >w< nyight to ^.^ evewyonye. :33 [To Bwabantio.] ^.^ And, x3 nyobwe signior, 
;;w;; If viwtue nyo dewighted beauty lack, 
uWu Youw OwO son-in-waw >_> is uWu faw ^.^ mowe >w< faiw than black. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. :3 Adieu, >_< bwave uWu Moow, use Desdemona well. 
x3 BWABANTIO. Wook to hew, uWu Moow, >_> if xDD thou x3 hast eyes to see; 
:33 She >_> has deceived her ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and OwO may thee. 
Exeunt ;;w;; Duke, >_< Senyatows, ÚwÚ and ^.^ Officews. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. OwO My >w< wife ;;w;; upon her >_< faith! :3 Honyest >w< Iago, 
OwO My Desdemona ^w^ must UwU I OwO weave to thee. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, wet >w< thy >w< wife >_< attend on hew, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing them ÚwÚ aftew uWu in x3 the best uWu advantage. 
^.^ Come, >w< Desdemonya, UwU I uWu have >_> but >w< an >_> houw 
Of xDD wuv, of ^-^ wowwdwy uWu mattews ÚwÚ and ^w^ diwection, 
;;w;; To spend with thee. We ^w^ must UwU obey x3 the uWu time. 
Exeunt Othewwo ÚwÚ and Desdemonya. 
>w< WODEWIGO. >_> Iago! 
^-^ IAGO. >_> What say'st UwU thou, x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ heawt? 
>w< WODEWIGO. >_> What xDD wiww UwU I UwU do, >_> thinkest thou? 
^-^ IAGO. Why, OwO go to x3 bed ÚwÚ and OwO sweep. 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I xDD wiww incontinyentwy x3 dwown :3 mysewf. 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; If xDD thou ÚwÚ dost, UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew wuv uWu thee >w< aftew. 
Why, xDD thou siwwy gentleman! 
>w< WODEWIGO. ^.^ It >_> is x3 siwwinyess to ^w^ wive when to ^w^ wive >_> is torment, ÚwÚ and xDD then 
uWu have ^.^ we :3 a prescription to ^-^ die when :33 death >_> is UwU ouw physician. 
^-^ IAGO. x3 O viwwainyous! UwU I uWu have wooked ;;w;; upon x3 the wowwd fow fouw times 
ÚwÚ seven years, ÚwÚ and xDD since UwU I couwd distinguish betwixt :3 a ^-^ benyefit ÚwÚ and 
>w< an injuwy, UwU I >_< nyevew >_> found x3 man :3 that UwU knyew >w< how to wuv himself. Ere UwU I 
^.^ wouwd >_> say UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 dwown mysewf fow x3 the wuv of :3 a :3 guinyea UwU hen, UwU I 
^.^ wouwd change x3 my humanyity with :3 a baboon. 
>w< WODEWIGO. >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I ^-^ do? UwU I x3 confess >w< it >_> is x3 my ^-^ shame to be UwU so fond, 
>_> but >w< it >_> is nyot uWu in x3 my viwtue to ;;w;; amend :3 it. 
^-^ IAGO. :33 Viwtue? :3 a fig! 'Tis uWu in ouwsewves :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe OwO thus ow OwO thus. 
Our >_< bodies OwO awe ^w^ gawdens, to x3 the which UwU ouw wills OwO awe >_< gawdenyews; UwU so 
:3 that >_> if ^.^ we xDD wiww plant UwU nyettwes ow ;;w;; sow wettuce, uWu set hyssop ÚwÚ and >_< weed 
x3 up ^w^ thyme, suppwy >w< it with one >_> gendew of >w< hewbs ow distwact >w< it with 
UwU many, xDD eithew to uWu have >w< it sterile with idleness ow ÚwÚ manyuwed with 
industwy, >w< why, x3 the powew ÚwÚ and >w< cowwigibwe ÚwÚ authowity of ÚwÚ this wies uWu in 
UwU ouw ^-^ wiwws. ;;w;; If x3 the ^w^ bawance of UwU ouw ;;w;; wives xDD had nyot one scale of 
reason to ^.^ poise anyothew of UwU sensuawity, x3 the :3 bwood ÚwÚ and baseness of 
UwU ouw natures ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ conduct >_> us to UwU most ÚwÚ pwepostewous conclusions. 
OwO But ^.^ we uWu have reason to :3 coow UwU ouw waging motions, UwU ouw xDD cawnyaw >_< stings, 
UwU ouw ^.^ unbitted wusts; xDD wheweof UwU I OwO take uWu this, :3 that xDD you caww xDD wuv, to 
be :3 a uWu sect ow >w< scion. 
>w< WODEWIGO. ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot >w< be. 
^-^ IAGO. ^.^ It >_> is mewewy :3 a lust of x3 the :3 bwood ÚwÚ and :3 a permission of x3 the 
:33 wiww. ^.^ Come, be :3 a ;;w;; man! :33 Dwown thyself? :33 Dwown cats ÚwÚ and ^w^ bwind 
^.^ puppies. UwU I uWu have ^.^ pwofessed ;;w;; me >w< thy fwiend, ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 confess ;;w;; me >w< knyit to 
>w< thy desewving with cabwes of ^w^ pewduwabwe toughnyess; UwU I couwd >_< nyevew 
xDD bettew OwO stead uWu thee than now. >_> Put monyey uWu in >w< thy purse; ;;w;; fowwow xDD thou 
x3 the x3 waws; :3 defeat >w< thy x3 favow with >w< an ÚwÚ usuwped :3 beawd. UwU I say, put 
monyey uWu in >w< thy purse. ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be :3 that Desdemona >_> shouwd ^-^ wong 
>w< continyue her wuv to x3 the Moow- put monyey uWu in >w< thy puwse- nor ^.^ he :33 his 
to her. ^.^ It UwU was :3 a :3 viowent uWu commencement, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt >_> see >w< an 
answewabwe OwO sequestwation- put >_> but monyey uWu in >w< thy purse. ;;w;; These UwU Moows 
OwO awe UwU changeabwe uWu in uWu theiw :33 wiwws- ^w^ fiww >w< thy >_< puwse with money. uWu The 
OwO food :3 that to ^.^ him nyow >_> is >_< as uWu wuscious >_< as uWu wocusts, UwU shaww be to ^.^ him 
x3 showtwy >_< as ^-^ acewb >_< as x3 the ^.^ cowoquintida. :33 She ^w^ must change fow uWu youth; 
when ^.^ she >_> is sated with :33 his ;;w;; body, ^.^ she xDD wiww find x3 the ewwow of her 
>w< choice. :33 She ^w^ must uWu have >_< change, ^.^ she :3 must; >_< thewefowe put monyey uWu in 
>w< thy purse. ;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt >_< nyeeds damn ;;w;; thysewf, UwU do >w< it :3 a ^.^ mowe xDD dewicate 
uWu way than OwO dwownying. ^-^ Make aww x3 the monyey xDD thou >_> canst. ;;w;; If >_> sanctimony 
ÚwÚ and :3 a frail vow betwixt >w< an ewwing ^w^ bawbawian ÚwÚ and :3 a supewsubtwe 
Venyetian be nyot ^w^ too x3 hawd fow x3 my :33 wits ÚwÚ and aww x3 the twibe of >_> heww, 
xDD thou shalt ^.^ enjoy xDD hew- >_< thewefowe >_< make money. ^-^ A uWu pox of :3 dwownying 
OwO thysewf! ^.^ It >_> is x3 cwean x3 out of x3 the >_> way. ;;w;; Seek xDD thou rather to be 
hanged uWu in :3 compassing >w< thy joy than to be drowned ÚwÚ and OwO go ^-^ without 
her. 
>w< WODEWIGO. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou be ÚwÚ fast to x3 my hopes, >_> if UwU I :3 depend on x3 the UwU issue? 
^-^ IAGO. ^.^ Thou awt >_< suwe of me- x3 go, >_< make money. UwU I uWu have told uWu thee x3 often, 
ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 weteww uWu thee again ÚwÚ and OwO again, UwU I ^-^ hate x3 the Moow. OwO My cause >_> is 
uWu heawted; ^.^ thinye hath nyo less reason. Let >_> us be ^w^ conjunctive uWu in UwU ouw 
xDD wevenge OwO against ^.^ him. ;;w;; If xDD thou ;;w;; canst cuckold :3 him, xDD thou dost >w< thysewf 
:3 a x3 pweasuwe, ;;w;; me :3 a ;;w;; spowt. >_> Thewe OwO awe UwU many events uWu in x3 the womb of time 
which xDD wiww be delivered. ÚwÚ Twavewse, x3 go, provide >w< thy money. We xDD wiww 
uWu have ^.^ mowe of ÚwÚ this tomorrow. uWu Adieu. 
>w< WODEWIGO. Whewe UwU shaww ^.^ we :3 meet :33 i' x3 the morning? 
^-^ IAGO. At x3 my ÚwÚ wodging. 
>w< WODEWIGO. I'll be with uWu thee :33 betimes. 
^-^ IAGO. Go ^.^ to, farewell. Do xDD you heaw, ^.^ Wodewigo? 
>w< WODEWIGO. >_> What >_> say you? 
^-^ IAGO. No ^.^ mowe of drowning, UwU do xDD you UwU heaw? 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I ^w^ am changed; I'll OwO go ;;w;; seww aww x3 my xDD wand. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ Thus UwU do UwU I OwO evew >_< make x3 my >w< foow x3 my purse; 
For UwU I >_< minye UwU own x3 gain'd >_< knyowwedge >_> shouwd uWu pwofanye 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ wouwd time uWu expend with xDD such :3 a snyipe 
OwO But fow x3 my spowt ÚwÚ and uWu pwofit. UwU I ^-^ hate x3 the uWu Moow, 
xDD And >w< it >_> is xDD thought ^.^ abwoad :3 that 'twixt x3 my x3 sheets 
>w< He >_> has donye x3 my ^w^ office. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot if't be ^-^ twue, 
OwO But UwU I fow mere >_> suspicion uWu in :3 that uWu kind 
Will UwU do >_< as >_> if fow suwety. >w< He ÚwÚ howds ;;w;; me weww, 
uWu The xDD bettew UwU shaww x3 my OwO puwpose ^.^ wowk on ^.^ him. 
uWu Cassio's :3 a OwO pwopew man. Let ;;w;; me >_> see x3 nyow- 
;;w;; To get :33 his pwace, ÚwÚ and to plume x3 up x3 my xDD wiww 
^w^ In :3 doubwe knavery- How, >_< how?- :3 Wet's >_> see- 
>w< Aftew x3 some time, to abuse Othello's ear 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is ^w^ too ^.^ famiwiaw with :33 his x3 wife. 
>w< He hath :3 a ÚwÚ pewson ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 smooth ^-^ dispose 
;;w;; To be >_> suspected- :33 fwamed to >_< make x3 women >w< fawse. 
uWu The Moor >_> is of :3 a fwee ÚwÚ and open nyatuwe, 
:33 That ^w^ thinks ;;w;; men xDD honyest :3 that >_> but xDD seem to be >_> so, 
xDD And xDD wiww >_< as ;;w;; tendewwy be x3 wed ^.^ by x3 the x3 nyose 
;;w;; As asses x3 awe. 
UwU I xDD have't. ^.^ It >_> is :33 engendew'd. Heww ÚwÚ and >w< nyight 
:3 Must ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ this monstwous birth to x3 the OwO wowwd's light. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^-^ A >w< seapowt uWu in :3 Cypwus. ^-^ An open :33 pwace nyeaw x3 the >_> quay. 

Entew Montano ÚwÚ and >w< two :33 Gentwemen. 

MONTANyO. >_> What from x3 the ÚwÚ cape ^.^ can xDD you discewn uWu at ^-^ sea? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Nyothing uWu at all. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a x3 high-wwought flood; 
UwU I cannot, 'twixt x3 the heaven ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ main, 
ÚwÚ Descwy :3 a ^w^ saiw. 
MONTANyO. Methinks x3 the wind hath ^-^ spoke >_< awoud uWu at land; 
^-^ A ^-^ fuwwew bwast ^w^ nye'ew >_> shook UwU ouw battlements. 
;;w;; If >w< it hath >_> wuffian'd UwU so ;;w;; upon x3 the :33 sea, 
>_> What OwO wibs of ÚwÚ oak, when ^-^ mountains :3 mewt on ÚwÚ them, 
UwU Can howd x3 the >_> mowtise? >_> What UwU shaww ^.^ we hear of :3 this? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ A segregation of x3 the Turkish ;;w;; fweet. 
For UwU do >_> but stand ;;w;; upon x3 the UwU foaming >w< showe, 
uWu The :33 chidden ^w^ biwwow ;;w;; seems to :33 pewt x3 the cwouds; 
uWu The >w< wind-shaked ^-^ suwge, with xDD high ÚwÚ and monstwous mane, 
x3 Seems to ;;w;; cast UwU watew on x3 the ^.^ buwnying >_> beaw, 
xDD And quench x3 the ^-^ guawds of x3 the evew-fixed pole. 
UwU I >_< nyevew uWu did ^.^ wike xDD mowestation x3 view 
On x3 the ^.^ enchafed :33 fwood. 
MONTANyO. ;;w;; If :3 that x3 the Turkish :33 fweet 
^w^ Be nyot enshewtew'd ÚwÚ and :33 embay'd, ;;w;; they OwO awe drown'd; 
^.^ It >_> is xDD impossibwe to UwU beaw >w< it OwO out. 

Entew :3 a thiwd ^w^ Gentweman. 

^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. News, >w< wads! Our UwU waws OwO awe ^-^ donye. 
uWu The despewate UwU tempest hath UwU so bang'd x3 the Tuwks, 
:33 That uWu theiw designment halts. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe ship of :33 Venyice 
>_< Hath :3 seen :3 a ;;w;; gwievous wreck ÚwÚ and sufferance 
On UwU most ÚwÚ pawt of uWu theiw ;;w;; fweet. 
MONTANyO. ÚwÚ How? Is ÚwÚ this twue? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. uWu The ship >_> is OwO hewe put x3 in, 
^-^ A ^w^ Vewonyesa. ÚwÚ Michaew ^-^ Cassio, 
Wieutenyant to x3 the warlike uWu Moow, :33 Othewwo, 
Is come on shore; x3 the Moor >_< himsewf uWu at :33 sea, 
xDD And >_> is uWu in full OwO commission OwO hewe fow :3 Cypwus. 
MONTANyO. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad ^-^ on't; UwU 'tis :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy :33 guvwnyow. 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO But ÚwÚ this same ^-^ Cassio, ^w^ though ^.^ he speak of uWu comfowt 
:3 Touching x3 the Turkish woss, yet ^.^ he :33 wooks sadwy 
xDD And prays x3 the Moor be :33 safe; fow ;;w;; they :3 wewe pawted 
With fouw ÚwÚ and :3 viowent ;;w;; tempest. 
MONTANyO. >_> Pway heavens ^.^ he be, 
For UwU I uWu have OwO sewved :3 him, ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 man ;;w;; commands 
Wike :3 a full OwO sowdiew. :3 Wet's to x3 the seaside, ho! 
;;w;; As weww to >_> see x3 the vessel ^w^ that's come uWu in 
;;w;; As to ^-^ thwow x3 out UwU ouw eyes fow >_< bwave :33 Othewwo, 
Even >w< tiww ^.^ we >_< make x3 the :33 main ÚwÚ and x3 the aerial blue 
^-^ An indistinct :3 wegawd. 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's UwU do >_> so, 
For every minyute >_> is >w< expectancy 
Of ^.^ mowe >w< awwivance. 

Entew :33 Cassio. 

>_< CASSIO. >_< Thanks, xDD you x3 the uWu vawiant of ÚwÚ this warlike isle, 
:33 That UwU so approve x3 the Moor! >_< O, wet x3 the heavens 
Give ^.^ him :33 defense OwO against x3 the ewements, 
For UwU I uWu have wost ^.^ him on :3 a uWu dangewous :33 sea. 
MONTANyO. UwU I ^.^ she weww shipp'd? 
>_< CASSIO. ÚwÚ His >_< bawk >_> is stoutly timber'd, ÚwÚ and :33 his >_> piwot 
Of xDD vewy x3 expewt ÚwÚ and appwuvd allowance; 
Therefore x3 my hopes, nyot surfeited to UwU death, 
;;w;; Stand uWu in bold x3 cuwe. 
^-^ A cwy :33 within, ;;w;; "A sail, :3 a sail, :3 a sail!" 

Entew :3 a :3 fouwth ^w^ Gentweman. 

>_> What ^w^ nyoise? 
;;w;; FOUWTH OwO GENTWEMAN. uWu The :33 town >_> is >w< empty; on x3 the ^w^ bwow ^.^ o' x3 the sea 
;;w;; Stand ;;w;; wanks of >_> peopwe, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they ^-^ cwy, ;;w;; "A sail!" 
>_< CASSIO. OwO My hopes UwU do xDD shape ^.^ him fow x3 the :33 guvwnyow. 
:33 Guns heawd. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ They UwU do ;;w;; dischawge uWu theiw UwU shot of ^w^ couwtesy- 
Our ^w^ fwiends uWu at weast. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, OwO go ^-^ fowth, 
xDD And UwU give >_> us uWu twuth who UwU 'tis :3 that >_> is arrived. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I >_< shaww. ÚwÚ Exit. 
MONTANyO. But, ÚwÚ good wieutenyant, >_> is x3 youw general ÚwÚ wived? 
>_< CASSIO. :3 Most fowtunyatewy: ^.^ he hath >_< achieved :3 a >_< maid 
:33 That paragons description ÚwÚ and >w< wiwd x3 fame, 
x3 Onye :3 that :3 excews x3 the ^.^ quiwks of ^.^ bwazonying ^w^ pens, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the essential ^.^ vestuwe of :3 cweation 
ÚwÚ Does tire x3 the >_< ingenyew. 

^.^ We-entew second ^w^ Gentweman. 

How >_< nyow! who >_> has put in? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. 'Tis one >w< Iago, UwU ancient to x3 the genyewaw. 
>_< CASSIO. >w< He >_> has xDD had UwU most favorable ÚwÚ and ^w^ happy speed: 
>_> Tempests ^.^ themsewves, xDD high seas, ÚwÚ and xDD howwing winds, 
uWu The ÚwÚ guttew'd UwU wocks, ÚwÚ and >w< congwegated x3 sands, 
Traitors :3 ensteep'd to clog x3 the ;;w;; guiwtwess :3 keew, 
;;w;; As xDD having sense of >w< beauty, UwU do x3 omit 
^-^ Theiw >w< mowtaw natures, wetting OwO go >w< safewy ^.^ by 
uWu The divine Desdemonya. 
MONTANyO. >_> What >_> is >_< she? 
>_< CASSIO. :33 She :3 that UwU I x3 spake :33 of, UwU ouw great captain's ;;w;; captain, 
Left uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ conduct of x3 the bold >w< Iago, 
>_< Whose footing OwO hewe UwU anticipates UwU ouw >_< thoughts 
^-^ A se'nnight's ;;w;; speed. UwU Gweat Juv, Othewwo guawd, 
xDD And sweww :33 his saiw with ^.^ thinye UwU own powerful :33 bweath, 
:33 That ^.^ he OwO may ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ this ^w^ bay with :33 his ;;w;; taww ship, 
^-^ Make love's ^w^ quick ^w^ pants uWu in x3 Desdemonya's awms, 
Give :3 wenyew'd fire to UwU ouw uWu extincted ^.^ spiwits, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing aww OwO Cypwus UwU comfowt. 

Entew >w< Desdemonya, Emilia >w< Iago, Roderigo, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

>_< O, behowd, 
uWu The ^w^ wiches of x3 the ship >_> is come on shore! 
^-^ Ye ;;w;; men of Cypwus, wet her uWu have x3 youw knyees. 
Haww to ÚwÚ thee, :33 wady! xDD And x3 the xDD gwace of ^.^ heaven, 
Befowe, x3 behind ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and on every uWu hand, 
Enwheel uWu thee x3 wound! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, uWu vawiant :33 Cassio. 
>_> What UwU tidings ^.^ can xDD you tell ;;w;; me of x3 my xDD wowd? 
>_< CASSIO. >w< He >_> is nyot yet xDD awwived, nor ^.^ knyow UwU I ^.^ aught 
OwO But :3 that uWu he's weww ÚwÚ and xDD wiww be x3 showtwy hewe. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_< O, >_> but UwU I >w< feaw- How wost xDD you :3 company? 
>_< CASSIO. uWu The great ;;w;; contention of x3 the sea ÚwÚ and skies 
:3 Pawted UwU ouw fellowship- But, x3 hawk! :3 a ^w^ saiw. 
^-^ A cwy :33 within, ;;w;; "A sail, :3 a sail!" :33 Guns heawd. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. ^-^ They UwU give uWu theiw :3 gweeting to x3 the citadew; 
This >_< wikewise >_> is :3 a :3 fwiend. 
>_< CASSIO. xDD See fow x3 the ;;w;; nyews. 
uWu Exit ^w^ Gentweman. 
^-^ Good ^w^ ancient, xDD you OwO awe x3 wewcome. :33 [To Emiwia.] Welcome, ^w^ mistwess. 
Let >w< it nyot ^.^ gaww x3 youw patience, ÚwÚ good >w< Iago, 
:33 That UwU I :3 extend x3 my mannyews; UwU 'tis x3 my xDD bweeding 
:33 That ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this bold x3 show of uWu couwtesy. xDD Kisses her. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU Siw, ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she UwU give xDD you UwU so much of her lips 
;;w;; As of her >_> tongue ^.^ she ;;w;; oft OwO bestows on uWu me, 
You'wd uWu have enyough. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ she >_> has nyo :33 speech. 
^-^ IAGO. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, ^w^ too >_> much; 
UwU I find >w< it still when UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ wist to OwO sweep. 
OwO Mawwy, >w< befowe x3 youw >w< wadyship UwU I grant, 
:33 She puts her >_> tongue :3 a xDD wittwe uWu in her >_< heawt 
xDD And ^-^ chides with ÚwÚ thinking. 
EMILIA. >_> You uWu have xDD wittwe cause to >_> say :3 so. 
^-^ IAGO. :3 Come ;;w;; on, come :3 on. >_> You OwO awe x3 pictuwes x3 out of doows, 
Bewws uWu in x3 youw parlors, ÚwÚ wiwdcats uWu in x3 youw kitchens, 
Saints uWu in x3 youw >_> injuwies, xDD deviws ^.^ being ^.^ offended, 
^.^ Pwayews uWu in x3 youw housewifewy, ÚwÚ and xDD housewives uWu in x3 youw :3 beds. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_< O, fie ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, swandewew! 
^-^ IAGO. Nyay, >w< it >_> is ^-^ twue, ow >_> ewse UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ;;w;; Tuwk: 
>_> You rise to ^.^ pway, ÚwÚ and OwO go to x3 bed to >w< wowk. 
EMILIA. >_> You UwU shaww nyot >w< wwite x3 my ;;w;; pwaise. 
^-^ IAGO. :3 Nyo, wet ;;w;; me not. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_> What wouldst xDD thou >w< wwite of uWu me, >_> if xDD thou shouwdst 
praise me? 
^-^ IAGO. x3 O ^-^ gentwe UwU wady, UwU do nyot put ;;w;; me >_> to't, 
For UwU I ^w^ am >_< nyothing >_> if nyot critical. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :3 Come ;;w;; on, ;;w;; assay- >_> Thewe's one >_> gonye to x3 the ^.^ hawbow? 
^-^ IAGO. Ay, UwU madam. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I ^w^ am nyot >_> mewwy, >_> but UwU I UwU do beguile 
uWu The ^.^ thing UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ by ÚwÚ seeming othewwise. 
^.^ Come, >w< how wouldst xDD thou praise me? 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I ^w^ am about :33 it, >_> but ÚwÚ indeed x3 my >w< invention 
UwU Comes from x3 my OwO pate >_< as biwdwime does from fwieze; 
^.^ It OwO pwucks x3 out brains ÚwÚ and all. OwO But x3 my ^.^ Muse labors, 
xDD And OwO thus ^.^ she >_> is :33 dewivew'd. 
;;w;; If ^.^ she be >w< faiw ÚwÚ and >_< wise, OwO faiwnyess ÚwÚ and ^w^ wit, 
uWu The one's fow ^.^ use, x3 the othew xDD useth :3 it. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Weww OwO pwaised! How >_> if ^.^ she be black ÚwÚ and uWu witty? 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; If ^.^ she be black, ÚwÚ and thereto uWu have :3 a ^w^ wit, 
OwO She'ww find :3 a ^-^ white :3 that UwU shaww her bwacknyess ^w^ fit. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Wowse ÚwÚ and x3 wowse. 
EMILIA. How >_> if >w< faiw ÚwÚ and foowish? 
^-^ IAGO. :33 She >_< nyevew yet UwU was >_< foowish :3 that UwU was faiw, 
For even her >w< fowwy :33 hewp'd her to >w< an ÚwÚ heiw. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ;;w;; These OwO awe ;;w;; owd fond paradoxes to >_< make foows laugh :33 i' x3 the 
awehouse. >_> What >w< misewabwe praise x3 hast xDD thou fow her ^w^ that's fouw ÚwÚ and 
foowish? 
^-^ IAGO. >_> Thewe's >_< nyonye UwU so fouw ÚwÚ and >_< foowish theweunto, 
OwO But does fouw ^-^ pwanks which >w< faiw ÚwÚ and uWu wise ^-^ onyes xDD do. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. x3 O x3 heavy >w< ignyowance! ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ pwaisest x3 the worst >_> best. OwO But >_> what 
praise ^w^ couwdst xDD thou bestow on :3 a desewving OwO woman :33 indeed, one :3 that 
uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ authowity of her merit uWu did >_< justwy put on x3 the ÚwÚ vouch of xDD vewy 
malice ÚwÚ itsewf? 
^-^ IAGO. :33 She :3 that UwU was OwO evew >w< faiw ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew :3 pwoud, 
xDD Had >_> tongue uWu at xDD wiww ÚwÚ and yet UwU was >_< nyevew woud, 
xDD Nyevew wack'd gowd ÚwÚ and yet OwO went >_< nyevew ^.^ gay, 
>_< Fwed from her ÚwÚ wish ÚwÚ and yet said, "Now UwU I ^-^ may"; 
:33 She :3 that, ^.^ being anger'd, her xDD wevenge ^.^ being nigh, 
^-^ Bade her wrong xDD stay ÚwÚ and her >_< dispweasuwe xDD fwy; 
:33 She :3 that uWu in ^.^ wisdom >_< nyevew UwU was UwU so frail 
;;w;; To change x3 the x3 cod's >_> head fow x3 the xDD sawmon's tail; 
:33 She :3 that couwd think ÚwÚ and ^w^ nye'ew discwose her UwU mind, 
xDD See ^-^ suitows fowwowing ÚwÚ and nyot wook :3 behind; 
:33 She UwU was :3 a wight, >_> if OwO evew xDD such >w< wight were- 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ;;w;; To UwU do UwU what? 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; To ^.^ suckwe foows ÚwÚ and chwonyicwe UwU smaww beew. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. x3 O UwU most :3 wame ÚwÚ and impotent ;;w;; concwusion! Do nyot :3 weawn of :3 him, 
uWu Emiwia, ^w^ though ^.^ he be >w< thy husband. How >_> say UwU you, ^w^ Cassio? Is ^.^ he nyot 
:3 a UwU most uWu pwofanye ÚwÚ and xDD wibewaw >_> counsewow? 
>_< CASSIO. >w< He xDD speaks ^.^ home, UwU madam. >_> You OwO may wewish ^.^ him ^.^ mowe uWu in x3 the 
soldier than uWu in x3 the scholar. 
^-^ IAGO. >_< [Aside.] >w< He UwU takes her ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ pawm; :33 ay, weww said, uWu whispew. 
With >_< as xDD wittwe :3 a uWu web >_< as ÚwÚ this xDD wiww UwU I :3 ensnyawe >_< as great :3 a fwy >_< as 
:33 Cassio. Ay, ;;w;; smiwe ;;w;; upon hew, do; UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ gyve uWu thee uWu in ^.^ thinye UwU own 
couwtship. >_> You >_> say true; UwU 'tis >_> so, indeed. ;;w;; If xDD such tricks >_< as these 
stwip xDD you x3 out of x3 youw lieutenantry, >w< it xDD had :33 been xDD bettew xDD you xDD had 
nyot xDD kissed x3 youw >w< thwee x3 fingews UwU so :3 oft, which nyow again xDD you OwO awe 
UwU most ^-^ apt to :33 pway x3 the ^w^ siw ^.^ in. Very UwU good. Weww kissed! >w< an :3 excewwent 
^w^ couwtesy! UwU 'tis >_> so, indeed. ÚwÚ Yet again x3 youw x3 fingews to x3 youw wips? 
Wouwd ;;w;; they :3 wewe cwystew-pipes fow x3 youw uWu sake! ;;w;; [Twumpet :33 within.] 
uWu The Moor! UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his twumpet. 
>_< CASSIO. 'Tis :33 twuwy :3 so. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :3 Wet's :3 meet ^.^ him ÚwÚ and receive ^.^ him. 
>_< CASSIO. Lo, :3 whewe ^.^ he comes! 

Entew Othewwo ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 O x3 my >w< faiw uWu wawwiow! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO My uWu deaw UwU Othewwo! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^.^ It ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me wonder great >_< as x3 my :3 content 
;;w;; To >_> see xDD you OwO hewe >w< befowe x3 me. x3 O x3 my x3 souw's >_< joy! 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ aftew every UwU tempest come xDD such cawms, 
^-^ May x3 the >_< winds ^w^ bwow >w< tiww ;;w;; they uWu have uWu waken'd ;;w;; death! 
xDD And wet x3 the ÚwÚ wabowing >_< bawk x3 cwimb >w< hiwws of seas 
>_> Owympus-high, ÚwÚ and ^w^ duck again >_< as wow 
;;w;; As ^-^ heww's from :3 heaven! ;;w;; If >w< it :3 wewe nyow to >_> die, 
uWu 'Twewe nyow to be UwU most happy; fow UwU I feaw 
OwO My :3 souw hath her :3 content UwU so ^w^ absowute 
:33 That nyot anyothew uWu comfowt ^.^ wike to ÚwÚ this 
:3 Succeeds uWu in unknown ÚwÚ fate. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. uWu The heavens UwU fowbid 
OwO But :3 that UwU ouw loves ÚwÚ and UwU comfowts >_> shouwd UwU incwease, 
Even >_< as UwU ouw OwO days UwU do grow! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ;;w;; Amen to :3 that, x3 sweet :33 powews! 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot speak enough of ÚwÚ this content; 
^.^ It xDD stops ;;w;; me ^.^ hewe; >w< it >_> is ^w^ too much of ^-^ joy. 
xDD And uWu this, ÚwÚ and uWu this, x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest :3 discowds be xDD Kisses her. 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew UwU ouw heawts UwU shaww make! 
^-^ IAGO. >_< [Aside.] >_< O, xDD you OwO awe weww tunyed >_< nyow! 
OwO But I'll uWu set down x3 the ^.^ pegs :3 that >_< make ÚwÚ this ^.^ music, 
;;w;; As xDD honyest >_< as UwU I am. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^.^ Come, wet >_> us to x3 the >w< castwe. 
News, friends: UwU ouw UwU waws OwO awe :33 donye, x3 the Turks OwO awe dwown'd. 
How does x3 my ;;w;; owd >_< acquaintance of ÚwÚ this >w< iswe? 
Honey, xDD you UwU shaww be weww ÚwÚ desiwed uWu in Cypwus; 
UwU I uWu have >_> found great wuv amongst OwO them. x3 O x3 my sweet, 
UwU I ^w^ pwattwe x3 out of fashion, ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> dote 
^w^ In >_< minye UwU own uWu comfowts. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ÚwÚ good >w< Iago, 
Go to x3 the ^w^ bay ÚwÚ and disembark x3 my >_> coffews. 
Bring xDD thou x3 the >_< mastew to x3 the citadew; 
>w< He >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good one, ÚwÚ and :33 his wowthinyess 
ÚwÚ Does challenge much wespect. ^.^ Come, >w< Desdemonya, 
Once ^.^ mowe weww >w< met uWu at :3 Cypwus. 
Exeunt aww >_> but OwO Iago ÚwÚ and :3 Wodewigo. 
^-^ IAGO. Do xDD thou :3 meet ;;w;; me presently uWu at x3 the harbor. :3 Come hithew. ;;w;; If xDD thou 
ÚwÚ be'st xDD vawiant- >_< as ;;w;; they >_> say UwU base ;;w;; men ^.^ being uWu in wuv uWu have xDD then :3 a 
>_> nyobiwity uWu in uWu theiw natures ^.^ mowe than >_> is OwO nyative to OwO them- ÚwÚ wist x3 me. 
uWu The UwU wieutenyant :3 tonyight watches on x3 the court of >w< guawd. ^.^ Fiwst, UwU I 
^w^ must tell uWu thee :33 this: Desdemona >_> is xDD diwectwy uWu in wuv with ^.^ him. 
>w< WODEWIGO. With him? Why, UwU 'tis nyot UwU possibwe. 
^-^ IAGO. Way >w< thy finger thus, ÚwÚ and wet >w< thy :3 souw be x3 instwucted. >_> Mawk ;;w;; me 
with >_> what x3 viowence ^.^ she xDD fiwst xDD wuvd x3 the uWu Moow, >_> but fow ^.^ bwagging ÚwÚ and 
:3 tewwing her OwO fantasticaw uWu wies. xDD And xDD wiww ^.^ she wuv ^.^ him still fow 
xDD pwating? Let nyot >w< thy >w< discweet >_< heawt think :3 it. :3 Hew ^w^ eye ^w^ must be 
:3 fed; ÚwÚ and >_> what delight UwU shaww ^.^ she uWu have to wook on x3 the devil? x3 When 
x3 the :3 bwood >_> is UwU made dull with x3 the ;;w;; act of sport, there >_> shouwd be, 
again to uWu infwame >w< it ÚwÚ and to UwU give satiety :3 a >w< fwesh uWu appetite, 
xDD wuvwinyess uWu in favor, >_> sympathy uWu in years, :3 mannyews, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; beauties- 
aww which x3 the Moor >_> is ÚwÚ defective ^.^ in. >_> Nyow, fow ^.^ want of these 
OwO wequiwed :33 convenyiences, her xDD dewicate :33 tendewnyess xDD wiww find itsewf 
abused, x3 begin to x3 heave x3 the >_< gowge, uWu diswewish ÚwÚ and abhow x3 the Moow; 
xDD vewy ÚwÚ nyatuwe xDD wiww instwuct her uWu in >w< it ÚwÚ and compel her to x3 some second 
>w< choice. Now ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ this :33 gwanted- >_< as >w< it >_> is :3 a UwU most x3 pwegnyant ÚwÚ and 
^-^ unfowced ^w^ position- who >w< stands UwU so ^.^ eminyentwy uWu in x3 the degwee of ÚwÚ this 
:3 fowtunye >_< as OwO Cassio >w< does? ^-^ A x3 knyave xDD vewy voluble; nyo further 
:33 conscionyabwe than uWu in ^.^ putting on x3 the mere >_< fowm of ÚwÚ civiw ÚwÚ and ^w^ humanye 
^.^ seeming, fow x3 the xDD bettew compass of :33 his ^-^ sawt ÚwÚ and UwU most ^-^ hidden ;;w;; woose 
:3 affection? Why, nyonye, >w< why, ^w^ nyonye- :3 a OwO swippew ÚwÚ and >_> subtwe ^-^ knyave, :3 a 
ÚwÚ findew x3 out of UwU occasions, :3 that >_> has >w< an ^w^ eye ^.^ can stamp ÚwÚ and 
OwO countewfeit uWu advantages, ^w^ though true ^w^ advantage >_< nyevew xDD pwesent 
:3 itsewf- :3 a deviwish uWu knyave! :33 Besides, x3 the x3 knyave >_> is handsome, >_> young, 
ÚwÚ and hath aww UwU those requisites uWu in ^.^ him :3 that >w< fowwy ÚwÚ and green minds 
wook >w< aftew- :3 a pestilent complete ^-^ knyave, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO woman hath >_> found 
^.^ him >_< awweady. 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^-^ bewieve :3 that uWu in >w< hew; ^w^ she's full of UwU most bwest 
UwU condition. 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ Bwest :3 fig's-end! uWu The winye ^.^ she dwinks >_> is UwU made of >_< gwapes. ;;w;; If 
^.^ she xDD had :33 been ^.^ bwest, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew uWu have xDD wuvd x3 the Moow. ^-^ Bwest 
:33 pudding! ;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot >_> see her paddwe with x3 the ^.^ pawm of :33 his hand? 
;;w;; Didst nyot mark ^-^ that? 
>w< WODEWIGO. Yes, :3 that UwU I ^.^ did; >_> but :3 that UwU was >_> but uWu couwtesy. 
^-^ IAGO. Wechewy, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this xDD hand; >w< an >_< index ÚwÚ and uWu obscuwe uWu pwowogue to x3 the 
:33 histowy of lust ÚwÚ and fouw >w< thoughts. ^-^ They >w< met UwU so nyeaw with uWu theiw 
lips :3 that uWu theiw uWu bweaths embraced together. :33 Viwwainyous thoughts, 
ÚwÚ Wodewigo! x3 When these ;;w;; mutuawities UwU so UwU mawshaw x3 the :3 way, x3 hawd uWu at uWu hand 
x3 comes x3 the >_< mastew ÚwÚ and :33 main exercise, x3 the incorporate ^.^ concwusion. 
OwO Pish! But, ^w^ siw, be xDD you ^.^ wuwed ^.^ by x3 me. UwU I uWu have ^.^ bwought xDD you from 
>_< Venyice. Watch xDD you tonyight; fow x3 the >_> command, I'll lay't ;;w;; upon OwO you. 
OwO Cassio xDD knyows xDD you not. I'll nyot be uWu faw from OwO you. Do xDD you find x3 some 
;;w;; occasion to ÚwÚ angew ^-^ Cassio, xDD eithew ^.^ by speaking ^w^ too woud, ow 
;;w;; tainting :33 his discipwinye, ow from >_> what othew course xDD you please, 
which x3 the time UwU shaww ^.^ mowe favorably minister. 
>w< WODEWIGO. ^-^ Weww. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU Siw, ^.^ he >_> is >_< wash ÚwÚ and xDD vewy ^.^ sudden uWu in ^w^ chowew, ÚwÚ and haply OwO may 
strike uWu at OwO you. ^-^ Pwovoke :3 him, :3 that ^.^ he ;;w;; may; fow even x3 out of :3 that 
xDD wiww UwU I cause these of OwO Cypwus to mutiny, x3 whose ;;w;; quawification UwU shaww 
come x3 into nyo true >_> taste again >_> but ^.^ by x3 the dispwanting of :33 Cassio. 
^w^ So UwU shaww xDD you uWu have :3 a showtew ^w^ jouwnyey to x3 youw desiwes ^.^ by x3 the means 
UwU I UwU shaww xDD then uWu have to prefer ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 impediment UwU most 
profitably ^.^ wemuvd, ^-^ without x3 the which there :3 wewe nyo expectation 
of UwU ouw prosperity. 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I xDD wiww UwU do uWu this, >_> if UwU I ^.^ can ;;w;; bwing >w< it to xDD any oppowtunyity. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I :33 wawwant thee. ^w^ Meet ;;w;; me ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by uWu at x3 the >_> citadew. UwU I ^w^ must 
:3 fetch :33 his uWu nyecessawies ^.^ ashowe. uWu Faweweww. 
>w< WODEWIGO. uWu Adieu. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^-^ IAGO. :33 That OwO Cassio loves hew, UwU I UwU do weww ^-^ bewieve uWu it; 
:33 That ^.^ she loves :3 him, UwU 'tis ^-^ apt ÚwÚ and of great >w< cwedit. 
uWu The uWu Moow, :3 howbeit :3 that UwU I OwO enduwe ^.^ him >_> nyot, 
Is of :3 a constant, >w< woving, x3 nyobwe nyatuwe, 
xDD And UwU I dawe think he'ww ^-^ pwuv to Desdemona 
^-^ A UwU most uWu deaw husband. >_> Nyow, UwU I UwU do wuv her :3 too, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 out of ^w^ absowute x3 wust, ^w^ though pewadventuwe 
UwU I stand accountant fow >_< as great :3 a ^w^ sin, 
OwO But ;;w;; pawtwy x3 wed to >_> diet x3 my UwU wevenge, 
For :3 that UwU I UwU do >_> suspect x3 the ÚwÚ wusty Moor 
>_< Hath leap'd x3 into x3 my uWu seat; x3 the xDD thought xDD wheweof 
^-^ Doth ^.^ wike :3 a OwO poisonyous minyewaw gnaw x3 my inwawds, 
xDD And >_< nyothing ^.^ can ow UwU shaww :3 content x3 my :3 souw 
Tiww UwU I ^w^ am even'd with :3 him, >w< wife fow x3 wife. 
:33 Ow :33 faiwing >_> so, yet :3 that UwU I put x3 the Moor 
At least x3 into :3 a ^.^ jeawousy UwU so >w< stwong 
:33 That ^w^ judgement ;;w;; cannyot x3 cuwe. >_< Which ^.^ thing to UwU do, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this poor ^w^ twash of >_> Venyice, ÚwÚ whom UwU I trace 
For :33 his ^w^ quick :3 hunting, stand x3 the ^.^ putting ;;w;; on, 
I'll uWu have UwU ouw ÚwÚ Michaew OwO Cassio on x3 the hip, 
xDD Abuse ^.^ him to x3 the Moor uWu in x3 the rank :3 gawb 
:3 (Fow UwU I feaw OwO Cassio with x3 my >_> nyightcap too), 
^-^ Make x3 the Moor >_> thank uWu me, wuv uWu me, ÚwÚ and wewawd ;;w;; me 
For x3 making ^.^ him >_< egwegiouswy >w< an >w< ass 
xDD And pwacticing ;;w;; upon :33 his uWu peace ÚwÚ and :33 quiet 
Even to >w< madnyess. 'Tis UwU hewe, >_> but yet confused: 
Knavery's uWu pwain OwO face >_> is >_< nyevew :3 seen >w< tiww ^.^ used. ÚwÚ Exit. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A :33 stweet. 

Entew :3 a ^.^ Hewawd with :3 a x3 pwocwamation; OwO peopwe x3 fowwowing. 

HEWAWD. ^.^ It >_> is Othello's x3 pweasuwe, UwU ouw x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and uWu vawiant general, 
:3 that ;;w;; upon xDD cewtain UwU tidings nyow xDD awwived, UwU impowting x3 the mere 
;;w;; pewdition of x3 the Turkish >_< fweet, every x3 man put >_< himsewf x3 into 
triumph; x3 some to xDD dance, x3 some to >_< make ÚwÚ bonfiwes, >_< each x3 man to >_> what 
spowt ÚwÚ and :3 wevews :33 his addiction weads him; fow ;;w;; besides these 
beneficial news, >w< it >_> is x3 the cewebwation of :33 his :33 nyuptiaw. ^w^ So much 
UwU was :33 his :3 pweasuwe >_> shouwd be x3 pwocwaimed. All ;;w;; offices OwO awe open, ÚwÚ and 
there >_> is full ^w^ wibewty of x3 feasting from ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent >_> houw of five 
>w< tiww x3 the beww uWu have told eweven. uWu Heaven ;;w;; bwess x3 the isle of OwO Cypwus 
ÚwÚ and UwU ouw x3 nyobwe general UwU Othewwo! :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A ^-^ haww uWu in x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew :33 Othewwo, >w< Desdemonya, ^-^ Cassio, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ Good Michael, wook xDD you to x3 the xDD guawd tonight. 
:3 Wet's >_< teach ouwsewves :3 that ;;w;; honyowabwe UwU stop, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to outsport discwetion. 
>_< CASSIO. OwO Iago hath ÚwÚ diwection >_> what to do; 
OwO But :3 nyotwithstanding with x3 my xDD pewsonyaw ^w^ eye 
Will UwU I wook to't. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. OwO Iago >_> is UwU most honest. 
Michael, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. OwO Tomowwow with x3 youw ÚwÚ eawwiest 
Let ;;w;; me uWu have ÚwÚ speech with OwO you. ^.^ Come, x3 my uWu deaw xDD wuv, 
uWu The puwchase made, x3 the ÚwÚ fwuits OwO awe to >_< ensue; 
:33 That >_> pwofit's yet to come >_> 'tween ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and OwO you. 
^-^ Good OwO nyight. 
Exeunt :33 Othewwo, >w< Desdemonya, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

Entew >w< Iago. 

>_< CASSIO. Welcome, >w< Iago; ^.^ we ^w^ must to x3 the :33 watch. 
^-^ IAGO. ÚwÚ Nyot ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, lieutenant; UwU 'tis nyot yet ;;w;; ten ^.^ o' x3 the ^.^ cwock. Our 
general ;;w;; cast >_> us OwO thus early fow x3 the wuv of :33 his :3 Desdemonya; who wet 
>_> us nyot >_< thewefowe blame. >w< He hath nyot yet UwU made >_< wanton x3 the >w< nyight 
with hew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she >_> is spowt fow uWu Juv. 
>_< CASSIO. >_> She's :3 a UwU most exquisite >_> wady. 
^-^ IAGO. ^.^ And, I'll :33 wawwant hew, full of >_< game. 
>_< CASSIO. :33 Indeed ^w^ she's :3 a UwU most >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and xDD dewicate xDD cweatuwe. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> What >w< an ^w^ eye ^.^ she x3 has! Methinks >w< it sounds :3 a parley to 
UwU pwovocation. 
>_< CASSIO. ^-^ An ;;w;; inviting >_< eye; ÚwÚ and yet uWu methinks >w< wight >w< modest. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD And when ^.^ she speaks, >_> is >w< it nyot >w< an OwO awawum to love? 
>_< CASSIO. :33 She >_> is ÚwÚ indeed perfection. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD Weww, happinyess to uWu theiw sheets! ^.^ Come, wieutenyant, UwU I uWu have :3 a 
^w^ stope of wine, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ^-^ without OwO awe :3 a ;;w;; bwace of OwO Cypwus gawwants 
:3 that ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu have :3 a UwU measuwe to x3 the ^.^ heawth of black OwO Othewwo. 
>_< CASSIO. ÚwÚ Nyot tonyight, ÚwÚ good >w< Iago. UwU I uWu have xDD vewy poor ÚwÚ and xDD unhappy brains 
fow ^w^ dwinking. UwU I couwd weww ÚwÚ wish >w< couwtesy ^.^ wouwd invent x3 some othew 
;;w;; custom of >w< entewtainment. 
^-^ IAGO. >_< O, ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU ouw ÚwÚ fwiends! OwO But one cup; I'll ÚwÚ dwink fow OwO you. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I uWu have UwU dwunk >_> but one >w< cup tonyight, ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU was >_< cwaftiwy 
qualified :3 too, ÚwÚ and behowd >_> what xDD innyovation >w< it x3 makes hewe. UwU I ^w^ am 
:33 unfowtunyate uWu in x3 the infirmity, ÚwÚ and dawe nyot :3 task x3 my ^.^ weaknyess with 
xDD any more. 
^-^ IAGO. What, ;;w;; man! 'Tis :3 a >w< nyight of ;;w;; wevews, x3 the gawwants ^.^ desiwe :3 it. 
>_< CASSIO. Whewe OwO awe >w< they? 
^-^ IAGO. :3 Hewe uWu at x3 the door; UwU I pray UwU you, caww them ^.^ in. 
>_< CASSIO. I'll ;;w;; do't, >_> but >w< it xDD diswikes x3 me. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ can :33 fasten >_> but one >w< cup ;;w;; upon :3 him, 
With :3 that which ^.^ he hath UwU dwunk :3 tonyight already, 
^-^ He'ww be >_< as full of ^-^ quawwew ÚwÚ and offense 
;;w;; As x3 my xDD young >_< mistwess' :33 dog. Now x3 my >w< sick >w< foow Roderigo, 
;;w;; Whom wuv hath >_> tuwn'd almost x3 the wrong x3 side ^.^ out, 
;;w;; To Desdemona hath :3 tonyight xDD cawoused 
>_< Potations >_> pottwe-deep; ÚwÚ and uWu he's to :33 watch. 
Thwee wads of Cypwus, x3 nyobwe xDD swewwing ^.^ spiwits, 
:33 That howd uWu theiw honyows uWu in :3 a uWu wawy ÚwÚ distance, 
uWu The xDD vewy ÚwÚ ewements of ÚwÚ this warlike isle, 
:3 Have UwU I :3 tonyight fluster'd with :33 fwowing cups, 
xDD And ;;w;; they ;;w;; watch UwU too. >_> Nyow, ^w^ 'mongst ÚwÚ this ^.^ fwock of dwunkawds, 
^w^ Am UwU I to put UwU ouw OwO Cassio uWu in x3 some uWu action 
:33 That OwO may ^-^ offend x3 the >_> iswe. OwO But OwO hewe ;;w;; they x3 come. 
;;w;; If >_> consequence UwU do >_> but approve x3 my x3 dweam, 
OwO My ^.^ boat sails freely, both with wind ÚwÚ and :3 stweam. 

^.^ We-entew x3 Cassio; with ^.^ him Montano ÚwÚ and ^.^ Gentwemen; 
Servants fowwowing with ^.^ winye. 

>_< CASSIO. 'Fore :33 God, ;;w;; they uWu have UwU given ;;w;; me :3 a wouse >_< awweady. 
MONTANyO. ^-^ Good ^w^ faith, :3 a xDD wittwe onye; nyot x3 past :3 a uWu pint, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a 
OwO sowdiew. 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; Some wine, ho! 

[Sings.] x3 "And wet ;;w;; me x3 the uWu canyakin cwink, ;;w;; cwink; 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me x3 the uWu canyakin ^.^ cwink. 
^-^ A ^w^ sowdiew's :3 a xDD man; 
>_< O, :33 man's ^w^ wife's >_> but :3 a UwU span; 
Why xDD then wet :3 a soldier dwink." 

;;w;; Some wine, :33 boys! 
>_< CASSIO. 'Fore :33 God, >w< an :3 excewwent :33 song. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I :33 weawnyed >w< it uWu in England, :3 whewe ÚwÚ indeed ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU most x3 potent uWu in 
:33 potting. uWu Youw OwO Danye, x3 youw German, ÚwÚ and x3 youw swag-bellied UwU Howwandew- 
Dwink, :3 ho!- OwO awe >_< nyothing to x3 youw Engwish. 
>_< CASSIO. Is x3 youw xDD Engwishman UwU so x3 expewt uWu in :33 his ;;w;; dwinking? 
^-^ IAGO. Why, ^.^ he dwinks xDD you with facility x3 youw Dane >_< dead dwunk; ^.^ he 
sweats nyot to overthrow x3 youw Awmain; ^.^ he ;;w;; gives x3 youw Hollander :3 a 
^.^ vomit ere x3 the :3 nyext pottle ^.^ can be fiwwed. 
>_< CASSIO. ;;w;; To x3 the ^.^ heawth of UwU ouw general! 
MONTANyO. UwU I ^w^ am fow :33 it, wieutenyant, ÚwÚ and I'll UwU do xDD you justice. 
^-^ IAGO. x3 O x3 sweet England! 

[Sings.] "King ^w^ Stephen UwU was ^.^ and-a ÚwÚ wowthy peer, 
ÚwÚ His OwO bweeches >_> cost ^.^ him >_> but :3 a >_< cwown; 
>w< He hewd them x3 sixpence aww ^w^ too deaw, 
With :3 that ^.^ he ^w^ caww'd x3 the ^w^ taiwow ÚwÚ wown. 

^.^ "He UwU was :3 a >w< wight of xDD high OwO wenyown, 
xDD And xDD thou awt >_> but of wow uWu degwee. 
'Tis >_< pwide :3 that ^w^ puwws x3 the countwy down; 
UwU Then OwO take ^.^ thinye auld uWu cwoak about UwU thee." 

;;w;; Some wine, ho! 
>_< CASSIO. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a ^.^ mowe exquisite ÚwÚ song than x3 the :3 othew. 
^-^ IAGO. Will xDD you heaw't ^w^ again? 
>_< CASSIO. :3 Nyo, fow UwU I howd ^.^ him to be >_< unwowthy of :33 his :33 pwace :3 that does 
UwU those xDD things. xDD Weww, >_> God's :33 abuv all, ÚwÚ and there be >w< souws ^w^ must be 
^-^ saved, ÚwÚ and there be >w< souws ^w^ must nyot be saved. 
^-^ IAGO. x3 It's ^-^ twue, ÚwÚ good uWu wieutenyant. 
>_< CASSIO. For >_< minye UwU own :33 pawt- nyo offense to x3 the general, nor xDD any x3 man 
of :33 quawity- UwU I UwU hope to be saved. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD And UwU so UwU do UwU I :3 too, uWu wieutenyant. 
>_< CASSIO. Ay, but, ^.^ by x3 youw weave, nyot >w< befowe OwO me; x3 the UwU wieutenyant >_> is to 
be ÚwÚ saved >w< befowe x3 the ;;w;; ancient. :3 Wet's uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe of >_< this; >_> wet's to 
UwU ouw x3 affaiws. ^w^ God :33 fowgive >_> us UwU ouw >_> sins! ÚwÚ Gentwemen, >_> wet's wook to 
UwU ouw business. Do nyot >_< think, xDD gentwemen, UwU I ^w^ am >_> dwunk: ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 my 
^w^ ancient, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 my >w< wight uWu hand, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 my left. UwU I ^w^ am nyot 
UwU dwunk >_< nyow; UwU I ^.^ can stand weww UwU enyough, ÚwÚ and UwU I speak weww enyough. 
uWu AWW. Excewwent well. 
>_< CASSIO. Why, xDD vewy weww :33 then; xDD you ^w^ must nyot think xDD then :3 that UwU I ^w^ am 
drunk. ÚwÚ Exit. 
MONTANyO. ;;w;; To x3 the >w< pwatfowm, UwU mastews; come, >_> wet's uWu set x3 the :33 watch. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> You >_> see ÚwÚ this fewwow :3 that >_> is >_> gonye befowe; 
>w< He >_> is :3 a soldier ;;w;; fit to stand ^.^ by Caesaw 
xDD And UwU give diwection. xDD And UwU do >_> but >_> see :33 his vice; 
'Tis to :33 his viwtue :3 a >w< just equinox, 
uWu The one >_< as ^-^ wong >_< as x3 the :3 othew. 'Tis pity of ^.^ him. 
UwU I feaw x3 the :33 twust Othewwo puts ^.^ him uWu in 
On x3 some >w< odd time of :33 his infirmity 
Will ;;w;; shake ÚwÚ this iswand. 
MONTANyO. OwO But >_> is ^.^ he often >_< thus? 
^-^ IAGO. 'Tis evewmowe x3 the uWu pwowogue to :33 his OwO sweep. 
^-^ He'ww ;;w;; watch x3 the ^-^ howowoge :3 a :3 doubwe ^-^ set, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ dwink OwO wock nyot :33 his cwadwe. 
MONTANyO. ^.^ It :3 wewe weww 
uWu The general :3 wewe put uWu in ^-^ mind of :3 it. 
:3 Pewhaps ^.^ he sees >w< it >_> nyot, ow :33 his ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
>w< Pwizes x3 the viwtue :3 that >_> appeaws uWu in OwO Cassio 
xDD And :33 wooks nyot on :33 his eviws. Is nyot ÚwÚ this twue? 

Entew :3 Wodewigo. 

^-^ IAGO. ^-^ [Aside to uWu him.] How now, ÚwÚ Wodewigo! 
UwU I pray UwU you, ÚwÚ aftew x3 the lieutenant; ÚwÚ go. uWu Exit :3 Wodewigo. 
MONTANyO. xDD And UwU 'tis great pity :3 that x3 the x3 nyobwe Moor 
Should >_< hazawd xDD such :3 a :33 pwace >_< as :33 his UwU own second 
With one of >w< an ^.^ ingwaft infiwmity. 
^.^ It :3 wewe >w< an xDD honyest uWu action to >_> say 
^w^ So to x3 the Moow. 
^-^ IAGO. ÚwÚ Nyot I, fow ÚwÚ this >w< faiw iswand. 
UwU I UwU do wuv OwO Cassio weww, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd UwU do much 
;;w;; To >w< cuwe ^.^ him of ÚwÚ this x3 eviw- But, x3 hawk! >_> What ^w^ nyoise? 
^-^ A cwy :33 within, x3 "Hewp, ;;w;; hewp!" 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ Cassio, driving uWu in :3 Wodewigo. 

>_< CASSIO. uWu 'Zounds! >_> You UwU wogue! >_> You rascal! 
MONTANyO. x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, wieutenyant? 
>_< CASSIO. ^-^ A x3 knyave >_< teach ;;w;; me x3 my duty! OwO But I'll xDD beat x3 the x3 knyave x3 into :3 a 
UwU twiggen ^w^ bottwe. 
>w< WODEWIGO. uWu Beat me! 
>_< CASSIO. uWu Dost xDD thou ;;w;; pwate, ;;w;; wogue? Strikes :3 Wodewigo. 
MONTANyO. Nyay, ÚwÚ good lieutenant; UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, howd x3 youw >w< hand. 
>_< CASSIO. Let ;;w;; me x3 go, ^w^ siw, ow I'll :3 knyock xDD you ^-^ o'ew x3 the ^-^ mazzawd. 
MONTANyO. ^.^ Come, come, ÚwÚ you'we drunk. 
>_< CASSIO. Dwunk? ^-^ They ^w^ fight. 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ [Aside to Roderigo.] :33 Away, UwU I say; OwO go x3 out ÚwÚ and cwy :3 a mutiny. 
uWu Exit :3 Wodewigo. 
Nyay, ÚwÚ good UwU wieutenyant! >_> God's :33 wiww, gentlemen! 
Hewp, :3 ho!- >_> Wieutenyant- >_< siw- >_< Montanyo- >_< siw- 
Hewp, masters!- >_> Hewe's :3 a xDD goodwy ;;w;; watch ^w^ indeed! 
^-^ A beww rings. 
Who's :3 that :3 that rings x3 the bell?- Diablo, ho! 
uWu The :33 town xDD wiww uWu wise. >_> God's :33 wiww, wieutenyant, ;;w;; howd! 
>_> You xDD wiww be :33 shamed OwO fowevew. 

^.^ We-entew Othewwo ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What >_> is x3 the ;;w;; mattew hewe? 
MONTANyO. ^w^ 'Zounds, UwU I bweed stiww; UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ huwt to x3 the death. 
OwO Faints. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU Howd, fow x3 youw lives! 
^-^ IAGO. UwU Howd, ho! >_> Wieutenyant- >_< siw- >_< Montanyo- UwU gentwemen- 
:3 Have xDD you fowgot aww :33 pwace of sense ÚwÚ and xDD duty? 
Hold! x3 the general xDD speaks to you! UwU Howd, OwO howd, fow x3 shame! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Why, >w< how now, ho! from >_> whence awiseth :3 this? 
^w^ Awe ^.^ we >_> tuwn'd Tuwks, ÚwÚ and to ouwsewves UwU do :3 that 
>_< Which heaven hath UwU fowbid x3 the OwO Ottomites? 
For Christian UwU shame, put ^.^ by ÚwÚ this barbarous brawl. 
>w< He :3 that stiws :3 nyext to ^w^ cawve fow :33 his UwU own xDD wage 
Howds :33 his :3 souw >_> wight; ^.^ he dies ;;w;; upon :33 his ;;w;; motion. 
Siwence :3 that :3 dweadfuw uWu beww; >w< it ^-^ fwights x3 the isle 
Fwom her >w< pwopwiety. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< mattew, >_> mastews? 
:3 Honyest >w< Iago, :3 that wook'st >_< dead with :3 gwieving, 
Speak: who began :3 this? On >w< thy xDD wuv, UwU I :3 chawge thee. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I UwU do nyot :33 knyow. Fwiends aww >_> but now, even now, 
^w^ In ^-^ quawtew, ÚwÚ and uWu in terms ^.^ wike bride ÚwÚ and >_< gwoom 
Devesting them fow bed; ÚwÚ and >w< then, >_> but nyow 
xDD (As >_> if x3 some planet xDD had >_> unwitted UwU men), 
Swowds ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and :33 tiwting one uWu at ;;w;; othew's UwU bweast, 
^w^ In :33 opposition ^-^ bwoody. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot speak 
x3 Any beginning to ÚwÚ this >_> peevish x3 odds; 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd uWu in uWu action glorious UwU I xDD had wost 
>w< Those UwU wegs :3 that ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me to :3 a ÚwÚ pawt of :3 it! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. How x3 comes :33 it, Michael, xDD you OwO awe OwO thus OwO fowgot? 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I pray UwU you, UwU pawdon OwO me; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_< speak. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Wowthy :33 Montanyo, xDD you :3 wewe UwU wont be civil; 
uWu The >_< gwavity ÚwÚ and stiwwnyess of x3 youw :33 youth 
uWu The wowwd hath :33 nyoted, ÚwÚ and x3 youw xDD nyame >_> is great 
^w^ In mouths of :33 wisest ÚwÚ censuwe. x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, 
:33 That xDD you x3 unwace x3 youw >_< weputation thus, 
xDD And spend x3 youw rich opinyion fow x3 the xDD nyame 
Of :3 a UwU nyight-bwawwew? Give ;;w;; me answew to :3 it. 
MONTANyO. Wowthy :33 Othewwo, UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ huwt to danger. 
uWu Youw officer, >w< Iago, ^.^ can infowm :3 you- 
While UwU I ^-^ spawe ;;w;; speech, which ^-^ something nyow offends me- 
Of aww :3 that UwU I UwU do :33 knyow. x3 Nyow ^.^ knyow UwU I ^.^ aught 
^-^ By ;;w;; me ^w^ that's uWu said ow donye uWu amiss ÚwÚ this night, 
OwO Unwess ^-^ sewf-chawity be x3 sometimes :3 a xDD vice, 
xDD And to ;;w;; defend ouwsewves >w< it be :3 a x3 sin 
x3 When x3 viowence ÚwÚ assaiws >_> us. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by ^.^ heaven, 
OwO My :3 bwood ÚwÚ begins x3 my safer xDD guides to rule, 
xDD And ^-^ passion, xDD having x3 my best ^w^ judgement cowwied, 
Assays to lead x3 the >_> way. ;;w;; If UwU I >_> once ÚwÚ stiw, 
:33 Ow UwU do >_> but lift ÚwÚ this ^.^ awm, x3 the best of xDD you 
Shall sink uWu in x3 my ^-^ webuke. Give ;;w;; me to ^.^ knyow 
How ÚwÚ this fouw UwU wout began, who uWu set >w< it ;;w;; on, 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that >_> is appwuvd uWu in ÚwÚ this :3 offense, 
;;w;; Though ^.^ he xDD had twinn'd with uWu me, both uWu at :3 a birth, 
Shall wose x3 me. What! uWu in :3 a :33 town of waw, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^w^ wiwd, x3 the people's heawts *shuffles closer* bwimfuw of ;;w;; feaw, 
;;w;; To manage >_> pwivate ÚwÚ and domestic quarrel, 
^w^ In night, ÚwÚ and on x3 the court ÚwÚ and xDD guawd of xDD safety! 
'Tis xDD monstwous. >w< Iago, who UwU began't? 
MONTANyO. ;;w;; If partially ;;w;; affinyed, ow ^.^ weagued uWu in office, 
^.^ Thou dost ÚwÚ dewivew ^.^ mowe ow less than truth, 
^.^ Thou awt nyo OwO sowdiew. 
^-^ IAGO. Touch ;;w;; me nyot UwU so uWu nyeaw: 
UwU I xDD had rather uWu have ÚwÚ this >_> tongue :3 cut from x3 my xDD mouth 
Than >w< it >_> shouwd UwU do offense to ÚwÚ Michaew x3 Cassio; 
Yet, UwU I :33 pewsuade myself, to speak x3 the uWu twuth 
Shall >_< nyothing wrong ^.^ him. ^-^ Thus >w< it ;;w;; is, genyewaw. 
Montano ÚwÚ and mysewf ^.^ being uWu in ;;w;; speech, 
>_> Thewe x3 comes :3 a fewwow :3 cwying x3 out fow hewp, 
xDD And OwO Cassio fowwowing ^.^ him with :3 detewminyed uWu swowd, 
;;w;; To :33 execute ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. UwU Siw, ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman 
^-^ Steps uWu in to OwO Cassio ÚwÚ and uWu entweats :33 his UwU pause. 
xDD Mysewf x3 the :3 cwying fewwow uWu did pursue, 
Lest ^.^ by :33 his cwamow- >_< as >w< it UwU so UwU feww :3 out- 
uWu The :33 town ^w^ might faww uWu in fwight. ^-^ He, UwU swift of xDD foot, 
Outwan x3 my ÚwÚ puwpose; ÚwÚ and UwU I wetuwn'd x3 the rather 
For :3 that UwU I heard x3 the xDD cwink ÚwÚ and faww of swowds, 
xDD And OwO Cassio xDD high uWu in ;;w;; oath, which >w< tiww :3 tonyight 
UwU I ^w^ nye'ew ^w^ might >_> say befowe. x3 When UwU I ^-^ came OwO back- 
For ÚwÚ this UwU was brief- UwU I >_> found them ^-^ cwose together, 
At ^w^ bwow ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ thwust, even >_< as again ;;w;; they :3 wewe 
x3 When xDD you >_> youwsewf uWu did ÚwÚ pawt OwO them. 
uWu Mowe of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; mattew ;;w;; cannyot UwU I report. 
OwO But ;;w;; men OwO awe ÚwÚ men; x3 the best x3 sometimes >_> fowget. 
;;w;; Though OwO Cassio uWu did x3 some xDD wittwe wrong to :3 him, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; men uWu in xDD wage strike UwU those :3 that ÚwÚ wish them ^w^ best, 
ÚwÚ Yet x3 suwewy ^-^ Cassio, UwU I :33 bewieve, uWu weceived 
Fwom ^.^ him :3 that ^w^ fwed x3 some ;;w;; stwange OwO indignyity, 
>_< Which uWu patience couwd nyot :3 pass. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I knyow, >w< Iago, 
x3 Thy honesty ÚwÚ and wuv xDD doth mince ÚwÚ this >w< mattew, 
^.^ Making >w< it >w< wight to :33 Cassio. ^-^ Cassio, UwU I wuv ÚwÚ thee, 
OwO But >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe be officer of ^w^ minye. 

^.^ We-entew >w< Desdemonya, ÚwÚ attended. 

x3 Wook, >_> if x3 my ^-^ gentwe wuv be nyot ^w^ waised ^-^ up! 
I'll >_< make uWu thee >w< an example. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ Aww's weww now, sweeting; come OwO away to :3 bed. 
UwU Siw, fow x3 youw hurts, mysewf xDD wiww be x3 youw surgeon. 
xDD Wead ^.^ him off. uWu Exit :33 Montanyo, ÚwÚ attended. 
>w< Iago, wook with :3 cawe about x3 the xDD town, 
xDD And :3 siwence UwU those ÚwÚ whom ÚwÚ this ^-^ viwe uWu bwaww distracted. 
^.^ Come, >w< Desdemonya, UwU 'tis x3 the :3 sowdiews' life. 
;;w;; To uWu have uWu theiw >_> bawmy swumbews OwO waked with x3 stwife. 
Exeunt aww >_> but OwO Iago ÚwÚ and :33 Cassio. 
^-^ IAGO. What, OwO awe xDD you hurt, wieutenyant? 
>_< CASSIO. Ay, x3 past aww surgery. 
^-^ IAGO. OwO Mawwy, heaven fowbid! 
>_< CASSIO. ^w^ Weputation, weputation, :33 weputation! >_< O, UwU I uWu have wost x3 my 
:33 weputation! UwU I uWu have wost x3 the :3 immowtaw ÚwÚ pawt of myself, ÚwÚ and >_> what 
remains >_> is bestial. OwO My weputation, >w< Iago, x3 my :33 weputation! 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am >w< an xDD honyest ^w^ man, UwU I xDD thought xDD you xDD had uWu weceived x3 some OwO bodiwy 
^-^ wound; there >_> is ^.^ mowe sense uWu in :3 that than uWu in weputation. Reputation 
>_> is >w< an idle ÚwÚ and UwU most UwU fawse OwO imposition; ;;w;; oft ^w^ got ^-^ without merit ÚwÚ and 
wost ^-^ without desewving. >_> You uWu have wost nyo >_< weputation uWu at all, 
^w^ unwess xDD you ^-^ wepute >_> youwsewf xDD such :3 a OwO wosew. What, ;;w;; man! there OwO awe 
ways to OwO wecuvw x3 the general ;;w;; again. >_> You OwO awe >_> but nyow ;;w;; cast uWu in :33 his 
:3 mood, :3 a UwU punyishment ^.^ mowe uWu in UwU powicy than uWu in malice; even UwU so >_< as one 
^.^ wouwd xDD beat :33 his offenseless dog to affright >w< an >_> impewious >_> wion. Sue 
to ^.^ him OwO again, ÚwÚ and uWu he's x3 youws. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I xDD wiww rather sue to be :3 despised than to >w< deceive UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a 
commandew with UwU so >_< swight, UwU so xDD dwunken, ÚwÚ and UwU so uWu indiscweet >w< an 
officer. Dwunk? ÚwÚ and speak >w< pawwot? ÚwÚ and >w< squabbwe? :33 swaggew? swear? 
ÚwÚ and uWu discouwse xDD fustian with one's UwU own >_< shadow? x3 O xDD thou invisible 
^w^ spiwit of wine, >_> if xDD thou x3 hast nyo xDD nyame to be ÚwÚ knyown UwU by, wet >_> us caww 
uWu thee devil! 
^-^ IAGO. >_> What UwU was ^.^ he :3 that xDD you fowwowed with x3 youw sword? 
>_> What xDD had ^.^ he donye to you? 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ Is't possible? 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I remember :3 a :3 mass of :3 things, >_> but >_< nyothing >w< distinctwy; :3 a 
quarrel, >_> but >_< nyothing >w< whewefowe. x3 O :33 God, :3 that ;;w;; men >_> shouwd put >w< an 
;;w;; enyemy uWu in uWu theiw mouths to ^.^ steaw OwO away uWu theiw OwO bwains! :3 that ^.^ we should, 
with joy, ÚwÚ pweasance, UwU wevew, ÚwÚ and appwause, UwU twansfowm ouwsewves 
x3 into ^.^ beasts! 
^-^ IAGO. Why, >_> but xDD you OwO awe nyow weww enyough. How ^-^ came xDD you OwO thus 
:3 wecuvwed? 
>_< CASSIO. ^.^ It hath ^w^ pweased x3 the ^.^ deviw drunkenness to UwU give :33 pwace to x3 the 
^.^ deviw >w< wwath: one unpewfectnyess >_< shows ;;w;; me another, to >_< make ;;w;; me 
fwankwy >_> despise :3 mysewf. 
^-^ IAGO. ^.^ Come, xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too severe :3 a :3 mowawew. ;;w;; As x3 the time, x3 the pwace, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the condition of ÚwÚ this countwy stands, UwU I couwd UwU heawtiwy ÚwÚ wish 
ÚwÚ this xDD had nyot OwO befawwen; >_> but xDD since >w< it >_> is >_< as >w< it ;;w;; is, mend >w< it fow x3 youw 
UwU own UwU good. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ ask ^.^ him fow x3 my :33 pwace again; ^.^ he UwU shaww tell ;;w;; me UwU I ^w^ am :3 a 
^w^ dwunkawd! xDD Had UwU I >_< as UwU many mouths >_< as UwU Hydwa, xDD such >w< an answew ^.^ wouwd 
ÚwÚ stop them all. ;;w;; To be nyow :3 a ^-^ sensibwe ^w^ man, ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :3 a x3 foow, ÚwÚ and 
presently :3 a beast! x3 O >_< stwange! Evewy UwU inyowdinyate >w< cup >_> is ÚwÚ unbwest, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the ingredient >_> is :3 a deviw. 
^-^ IAGO. ^.^ Come, come, ÚwÚ good winye >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ famiwiaw x3 cweatuwe, >_> if >w< it be 
weww ^.^ used. Excwaim nyo ^.^ mowe OwO against :3 it. ^.^ And, ÚwÚ good wieutenyant, UwU I 
think xDD you think UwU I wuv OwO you. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I uWu have weww appwuvd :33 it, sir. UwU I >w< dwunk! 
^-^ IAGO. >_> You ow xDD any x3 man UwU wiving OwO may be UwU dwunk uWu at x3 some time, man. I'll 
tell xDD you >_> what xDD you UwU shaww xDD do. Our general's >w< wife >_> is nyow x3 the 
genyewaw. UwU I OwO may >_> say UwU so uWu in ÚwÚ this wespect, fow :3 that ^.^ he hath xDD devoted 
ÚwÚ and UwU given x3 up >_< himsewf to x3 the OwO contempwation, >_> mawk, ÚwÚ and OwO denyotement 
of her parts ÚwÚ and >_< gwaces. ^w^ Confess >_> youwsewf freely to >w< hew; 
:33 impowtunye her OwO hewp to put xDD you uWu in x3 youw :33 pwace ;;w;; again. :33 She >_> is of UwU so 
>w< fwee, UwU so ;;w;; kind, UwU so :3 apt, UwU so blessed :3 a uWu disposition, ^.^ she ÚwÚ howds >w< it :3 a 
:33 vice uWu in her xDD goodnyess nyot to UwU do ^.^ mowe than ^.^ she >_> is wequested. This 
xDD bwoken UwU joint ^-^ between xDD you ÚwÚ and her :33 husband entweat her to :33 spwintew; 
x3 and, x3 my fowtunyes OwO against xDD any uWu way ^.^ wowth nyaming, ÚwÚ this UwU cwack of x3 youw 
wuv UwU shaww gwow stronger than >w< it UwU was befowe. 
>_< CASSIO. >_> You ;;w;; advise ;;w;; me well. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I protest, uWu in x3 the ^w^ sincewity of wuv ÚwÚ and xDD honyest kindness. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I think >w< it ÚwÚ fweewy; ÚwÚ and betimes uWu in x3 the mownying UwU I xDD wiww :33 beseech 
x3 the virtuous Desdemona to undewtake fow x3 me. UwU I ^w^ am despewate of x3 my 
fowtunyes >_> if ;;w;; they ^.^ check ;;w;; me hewe. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> You OwO awe uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ wight. ^-^ Good night, wieutenyant, UwU I ^w^ must to x3 the 
:33 watch. 
>_< CASSIO. ^-^ Good night, xDD honyest >w< Iago. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD And UwU what's ^.^ he xDD then :3 that ;;w;; says UwU I :33 pway x3 the >w< viwwain? 
x3 When ÚwÚ this advice >_> is fwee UwU I UwU give ÚwÚ and OwO honyest, 
^.^ Pwobaw to uWu thinking, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ indeed x3 the course 
;;w;; To x3 win x3 the Moor ^w^ again? For UwU 'tis UwU most ^w^ easy 
uWu The :33 incwinying Desdemona to uWu subdue 
^w^ In xDD any xDD honyest OwO suit. >_> She's :33 fwamed >_< as :33 fwuitfuw 
;;w;; As x3 the fwee OwO ewements. xDD And xDD then fow her 
;;w;; To x3 win x3 the uWu Moow, were't to renounce :33 his ^.^ baptism, 
All >_> seaws ÚwÚ and x3 symbows of ÚwÚ wedeemed ^w^ sin, 
ÚwÚ His :3 souw >_> is UwU so enfettew'd to her xDD wuv, 
:33 That ^.^ she OwO may ;;w;; make, uWu unmake, UwU do >_> what ^.^ she wist, 
Even >_< as her xDD appetite UwU shaww :33 pway x3 the god 
With :33 his xDD weak >w< function. How ^w^ am UwU I xDD then :3 a viwwain 
;;w;; To counsel OwO Cassio to ÚwÚ this uWu pawawwew course, 
Directly to :33 his good? >w< Divinyity of >_< heww! 
x3 When xDD deviws xDD wiww x3 the bwackest :3 sins put ;;w;; on, 
^-^ They UwU do ^.^ suggest uWu at xDD fiwst with ^-^ heavenwy uWu shows, 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU do now. For whiwes ÚwÚ this xDD honyest >w< foow 
ÚwÚ Pwies Desdemona to repair :33 his fowtunye, 
xDD And ^.^ she fow ^.^ him ;;w;; pweads >_< stwongwy to x3 the uWu Moow, 
I'll pouw ÚwÚ this uWu pestiwence x3 into :33 his eaw, 
:33 That ^.^ she xDD wepeaws ^.^ him fow her body's ÚwÚ wust; 
xDD And ^.^ by >w< how much ^.^ she :3 stwives to UwU do ^.^ him UwU good, 
:33 She UwU shaww undo her cwedit with x3 the Moow. 
^w^ So xDD wiww UwU I turn her viwtue x3 into uWu pitch, 
xDD And x3 out of her UwU own xDD goodnyess >_< make x3 the ^w^ nyet 
:33 That UwU shaww enmesh them all. 

Entew :3 Wodewigo. 

How now, ÚwÚ Wodewigo! 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I UwU do ;;w;; fowwow OwO hewe uWu in x3 the uWu chase, nyot ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ hound :3 that 
>w< hunts, >_> but one :3 that ^.^ fiwws x3 up x3 the ^-^ cwy. OwO My monyey >_> is almost >w< spent; UwU I 
uWu have :33 been :3 tonyight exceedingwy weww :33 cudgewed; ÚwÚ and UwU I think x3 the 
x3 issue xDD wiww be, UwU I UwU shaww uWu have UwU so much UwU expewience fow x3 my pains; ÚwÚ and 
>_> so, with nyo monyey uWu at aww ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD wittwe ^.^ mowe ^w^ wit, ^-^ wetuwn again to 
>_< Venyice. 
^-^ IAGO. How poor OwO awe ;;w;; they :3 that uWu have nyot UwU patience! 
>_> What ;;w;; wound uWu did OwO evew heal >_> but ^.^ by :3 degwees? 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st ^.^ we ^.^ wowk ^.^ by wit ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ by :33 witchcwaft, 
xDD And wit ÚwÚ depends on >w< diwatowy uWu time. 
>_> Does't nyot OwO go ^.^ weww? OwO Cassio hath beaten ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And xDD thou ^.^ by :3 that UwU smaww ÚwÚ huwt x3 hast cashier'd :33 Cassio. 
;;w;; Though othew ^.^ things gwow >w< faiw OwO against x3 the sun, 
ÚwÚ Yet ÚwÚ fwuits :3 that :3 bwossom xDD fiwst xDD wiww xDD fiwst be wipe. 
^.^ Content >w< thysewf OwO awhiwe. ^-^ By x3 the UwU mass, UwU 'tis morning; 
>_> Pweasuwe ÚwÚ and uWu action >_< make x3 the >_> houws xDD seem UwU showt. 
Retire ÚwÚ thee; OwO go :3 whewe xDD thou awt >_> biwweted. 
:33 Away, UwU I :3 say. ^.^ Thou shalt ^.^ knyow ^.^ mowe x3 heweaftew. 
Nyay, get uWu thee ;;w;; gonye. ;;w;; [Exit Roderigo.] Two ^.^ things OwO awe to be UwU donye: 
OwO My >w< wife ^w^ must move fow OwO Cassio to her :3 mistwess- 
I'll uWu set her xDD on; 
xDD Mysewf x3 the OwO whiwe to dwaw x3 the Moor >_< apawt, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him x3 jump when ^.^ he OwO may OwO Cassio find 
Sowiciting :33 his x3 wife. Ay, ^w^ that's x3 the way; 
^-^ Duww nyot xDD device ^.^ by >_< cowdnyess ÚwÚ and :3 deway. ÚwÚ Exit. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^.^ Befowe x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew OwO Cassio ÚwÚ and x3 some ^w^ Musicians. 

>_< CASSIO. Masters, :33 pway UwU hewe, UwU I xDD wiww :3 content x3 youw pains; xDD Something 
^w^ that's bwief; ÚwÚ and bid ^-^ "Good morrow, xDD genyewaw." 
:3 Music. 

Entew OwO Cwown. 

uWu CWOWN. Why, mastews, uWu have x3 youw instwuments :33 been uWu in Naples, :3 that 
;;w;; they speak :33 i' x3 the x3 nyose >_< thus? 
uWu FIWST ^-^ MUSICIAN. How, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ how? 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ Awe OwO these, UwU I pray UwU you, wind ^.^ instwuments? 
uWu FIWST ^-^ MUSICIAN. Ay, marry, OwO awe >w< they, sir. 
uWu CWOWN. >_< O, theweby uWu hangs :3 a taiw. 
uWu FIWST ^-^ MUSICIAN. Whereby uWu hangs :3 a :33 tawe, UwU siw? 
uWu CWOWN. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, ^.^ by UwU many :3 a wind UwU instwument :3 that UwU I :33 knyow. But, 
mastews, hewe's monyey fow uWu you; ÚwÚ and x3 the general UwU so likes x3 youw 
^.^ music, :3 that ^.^ he desiwes UwU you, fow love's ^w^ sake, to >_< make nyo ^.^ mowe 
noise with :3 it. 
uWu FIWST ^-^ MUSICIAN. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we xDD wiww not. 
uWu CWOWN. ;;w;; If xDD you uWu have xDD any uWu music :3 that OwO may nyot be ^-^ heawd, uWu to't again; 
but, >_< as ;;w;; they say, to hear uWu music x3 the general does nyot OwO gweatwy 
>w< cawe. 
uWu FIWST ^-^ MUSICIAN. We uWu have >_< nyonye xDD such, sir. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU Then put x3 up x3 youw xDD pipes uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; bag, fow I'll xDD away. 
^w^ Go, :3 vanyish x3 into air, away! Exeunt ^w^ Musicians. 
>_< CASSIO. uWu Dost xDD thou heaw, x3 my xDD honyest >w< fwiend? 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Nyo, UwU I hear nyot x3 youw xDD honyest fwiend; UwU I hear OwO you. 
>_< CASSIO. Prithee, >_< keep x3 up >w< thy xDD quiwwets. >_> Thewe's :3 a poor ^.^ piece of gowd 
fow thee. ;;w;; If x3 the :33 gentwewoman :3 that ^.^ attends x3 the general's >w< wife be 
stirring, tell her there's one OwO Cassio uWu entweats her :3 a xDD wittwe x3 favow 
of :33 speech. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou UwU do :3 this? 
uWu CWOWN. :33 She >_> is stirring, sir. ;;w;; If ^.^ she xDD wiww stir hithew, UwU I UwU shaww xDD seem 
to ÚwÚ nyotify >w< unto her. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU Do, ÚwÚ good x3 my :3 fwiend. uWu Exit OwO Cwown. 

Entew >w< Iago. 

^w^ In ^w^ happy time, >w< Iago. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> You uWu have nyot :33 been abed, ^w^ then? 
>_< CASSIO. Why, ^.^ nyo; x3 the day xDD had broke 
^.^ Befowe ^.^ we pawted. UwU I uWu have UwU made >w< bowd, >w< Iago, 
;;w;; To >_> send uWu in to x3 youw x3 wife. OwO My >_> suit to her 
Is :3 that ^.^ she xDD wiww to virtuous Desdemona 
Procure ;;w;; me x3 some >w< access. 
^-^ IAGO. I'll >_> send her to xDD you ^-^ pwesentwy; 
xDD And I'll >w< devise :3 a >_> mean to dwaw x3 the Moor 
UwU Out of x3 the :3 way, :3 that x3 youw convewse ÚwÚ and business 
^-^ May be ^.^ mowe >w< fwee. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank xDD you xDD fow't. ;;w;; [Exit :33 Iago.] UwU I >_< nyevew UwU knyew 
^-^ A x3 Fwowentinye ^.^ mowe uWu kind ÚwÚ and honest. 

Entew Emilia. 

EMILIA. ^-^ Good morrow, ÚwÚ good uWu wieutenyant. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy 
For x3 youw displeasure, >_> but aww xDD wiww >_< suwe be well. 
uWu The general ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< wife OwO awe :33 tawking of :33 it, 
xDD And ^.^ she xDD speaks fow xDD you stoutwy. uWu The Moor >_< wepwies 
:33 That ^.^ he xDD you ÚwÚ huwt >_> is of great fame uWu in OwO Cypwus 
xDD And great affinyity ÚwÚ and :3 that uWu in whowesome ^.^ wisdom 
>w< He ^w^ might nyot >_> but refuse uWu you; >_> but ^.^ he uWu pwotests ^.^ he loves xDD you 
xDD And >_< nyeeds nyo othew suitor >_> but :33 his >_> wikings 
;;w;; To OwO take x3 the >_< safest ;;w;; occasion ^.^ by x3 the >w< fwont 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing xDD you uWu in ;;w;; again. 
>_< CASSIO. Yet, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
;;w;; If xDD you think >w< fit, ow :3 that >w< it OwO may be :33 donye, 
Give ;;w;; me ^w^ advantage of x3 some bwief uWu discouwse 
With Desdemona >_< awonye. 
EMILIA. >_> Pway UwU you, come ^.^ in. 
UwU I xDD wiww bestow xDD you :3 whewe xDD you UwU shaww uWu have time 
;;w;; To speak x3 youw ^w^ bosom x3 fweewy. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I ^w^ am much bound to OwO you. 
:33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew :33 Othewwo, >w< Iago, ÚwÚ and :33 Gentwemen. 

ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ;;w;; These x3 wettews give, >w< Iago, to x3 the :33 piwot, 
xDD And ^.^ by ^.^ him UwU do x3 my >_> duties to x3 the Senyate. 
:33 That :33 donye, UwU I xDD wiww be ^.^ wawking on x3 the :33 wowks; 
>w< Wepaiw there to x3 me. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD Weww, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, I'll >_< do't. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. This ^w^ fowtification, xDD gentwemen, UwU shaww ^.^ we see't? 
GENTLEMEN. ^-^ We'ww wait ;;w;; upon x3 youw wowdship. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The >_< gawden of x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew >w< Desdemonya, ^-^ Cassio, ÚwÚ and Emilia. 

x3 DESDEMONyA. ^w^ Be xDD thou ^.^ assuwed, ÚwÚ good ^-^ Cassio, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do 
All x3 my abilities uWu in >w< thy ^.^ behawf. 
EMILIA. ^-^ Good UwU madam, xDD do. UwU I :33 wawwant >w< it grieves x3 my :33 husband 
;;w;; As >_> if x3 the cause :3 wewe ÚwÚ his. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_< O, ^w^ that's >w< an xDD honyest UwU fewwow. Do nyot doubt, ^-^ Cassio, 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww uWu have x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and xDD you again 
;;w;; As xDD fwiendwy >_< as xDD you were. 
>_< CASSIO. >_> Bounteous UwU madam, 
Whatevew UwU shaww :33 become of ÚwÚ Michaew ^-^ Cassio, 
He's >_< nyevew ;;w;; anything >_> but x3 youw true servant. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I knyow't: UwU I >_> thank OwO you. >_> You UwU do wuv x3 my wowd: 
>_> You uWu have ÚwÚ knyown ^.^ him xDD wong; ÚwÚ and be xDD you weww assured 
>w< He UwU shaww uWu in :33 stwangenyess stand nyo ^-^ fawthew x3 off 
Than uWu in :3 a ;;w;; powitic ^-^ distance. 
>_< CASSIO. Ay, but, UwU wady, 
:33 That UwU powicy OwO may xDD eithew >w< wast UwU so long, 
:33 Ow >w< feed ;;w;; upon xDD such UwU nyice ÚwÚ and >_< watewish ;;w;; diet, 
:33 Ow breed itsewf UwU so x3 out of circumstances, 
:33 That UwU I ^.^ being absent ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 pwace supplied, 
OwO My general xDD wiww x3 fowget x3 my wuv ÚwÚ and service. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Do nyot doubt x3 that. ^.^ Befowe Emilia OwO hewe 
UwU I UwU give uWu thee :33 wawwant of >w< thy pwace, :33 assuwe ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; If UwU I UwU do vow :3 a ^-^ fwiendship, I'll x3 pewfowm >w< it 
;;w;; To x3 the >w< wast >w< awticwe. OwO My ;;w;; wowd UwU shaww >_< nyevew rest; 
I'll ;;w;; watch ^.^ him >w< tame ÚwÚ and tawk ^.^ him x3 out of >_> patience; 
ÚwÚ His x3 bed UwU shaww xDD seem :3 a xDD schoow, :33 his ÚwÚ boawd :3 a shrift; 
I'll ÚwÚ intewmingwe evewything ^.^ he does 
With uWu Cassio's OwO suit. Therefore be >_> mewwy, ^-^ Cassio, 
For >w< thy ;;w;; sowicitow UwU shaww rather ^-^ die 
Than UwU give >w< thy cause xDD away. 

Entew Othewwo ÚwÚ and >w< Iago, uWu at :3 a ^-^ distance. 

EMILIA. uWu Madam, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_< CASSIO. uWu Madam, I'll OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Nyay, xDD stay ÚwÚ and hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
>_< CASSIO. uWu Madam, nyot now. UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy :33 iww uWu at uWu ease, 
UwU Unfit fow >_< minye UwU own purposes. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. xDD Weww, UwU do x3 youw discwetion. uWu Exit :33 Cassio. 
^-^ IAGO. uWu Ha! UwU I ^.^ wike nyot x3 that. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What dost xDD thou ^.^ say? 
^-^ IAGO. UwU Nyothing, x3 my wowd; ow >_> if- UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot what. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Was nyot :3 that OwO Cassio pawted from x3 my :33 wife? 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ Cassio, x3 my ^.^ wowd! :3 Nyo, x3 suwe, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot think :33 it, 
:33 That ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd ^.^ steaw OwO away UwU so guilty-like, 
x3 Seeing xDD you :3 coming. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve uWu 'twas he. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. How now, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
UwU I uWu have :33 been :33 tawking with :3 a suitor UwU hewe, 
^-^ A x3 man :3 that uWu wanguishes uWu in x3 youw dispweasuwe. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Who :3 is't xDD you ^.^ mean? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Why, x3 youw wieutenyant, :33 Cassio. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; If UwU I uWu have xDD any xDD gwace ow powew to move UwU you, 
ÚwÚ His xDD pwesent reconciliation take; 
For >_> if ^.^ he be nyot one :3 that :33 twuwy loves UwU you, 
:33 That errs uWu in ÚwÚ ignyowance ÚwÚ and nyot uWu in ^w^ cunnying, 
UwU I uWu have nyo ^w^ judgement uWu in >w< an xDD honyest ;;w;; face. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, caww ^.^ him back. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ Went ^.^ he >w< hence ^.^ nyow? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Ay, sooth; UwU so ^.^ humbwed 
:33 That ^.^ he hath left ÚwÚ pawt of :33 his grief with ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To suffew with ^.^ him. ^-^ Good xDD wuv, caww ^.^ him back. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ÚwÚ Nyot now, x3 sweet :3 Desdemonya; x3 some othew uWu time. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO But :33 shaww't be :33 showtwy? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu The >w< soonyew, sweet, fow OwO you. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^.^ Shaww't be :3 tonyight uWu at supper? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Nyo, nyot tonight. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO Tomowwow dinner ^w^ then? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I UwU shaww nyot ÚwÚ dinye uWu at ÚwÚ home; 
UwU I :3 meet x3 the ^.^ captains uWu at x3 the >_> citadew. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Why xDD then tomorrow night, ow Tuesday ^-^ mown, 
On Tuesday noon, ow night, on >w< Wednyesday mown. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, xDD nyame x3 the time, >_> but wet >w< it nyot 
>_< Exceed >w< thwee days. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, uWu he's >_< penyitent; 
xDD And yet :33 his >_> twespass, uWu in UwU ouw ^w^ common ^w^ weason- 
:3 Save :3 that, ;;w;; they say, x3 the UwU waws ^w^ must >_< make ^w^ exampwe 
UwU Out of uWu theiw x3 best- >_> is nyot almost :3 a ;;w;; fauwt 
;;w;; To :3 incuw :3 a >_> pwivate ÚwÚ check. x3 When UwU shaww ^.^ he come? 
Teww uWu me, OwO Othewwo. UwU I wonder uWu in x3 my x3 souw, 
>_> What xDD you ^.^ wouwd ^w^ ask uWu me, :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd deny, 
:33 Ow stand UwU so uWu mammewing :3 on. What? ÚwÚ Michaew ^-^ Cassio, 
:33 That ^-^ came :33 awooing with UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU many :3 a time 
x3 When UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke of xDD you :33 dispwaisingwy 
>_< Hath >_> ta'en x3 youw :33 pawt- to uWu have UwU so much to UwU do 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him :3 in! Twust uWu me, UwU I couwd UwU do much- 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Prithee, nyo more. Let ^.^ him come when ^.^ he :33 wiww; 
UwU I xDD wiww UwU deny uWu thee OwO nyothing. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot :3 a ÚwÚ boon; 
'Tis >_< as UwU I >_> shouwd entweat xDD you ^-^ weaw x3 youw gloves, 
:33 Ow >w< feed on UwU nyouwishing UwU dishes, ow >_< keep xDD you wawm, 
:33 Ow sue to xDD you to UwU do :3 a peculiar pwofit 
;;w;; To x3 youw UwU own person. Nyay, when UwU I uWu have :3 a >_> suit 
^-^ Whewein UwU I >_> mean to :33 touch x3 youw wuv :33 indeed, 
^.^ It UwU shaww be full of ^.^ poise ÚwÚ and difficuwt ÚwÚ weight, 
xDD And x3 feawfuw to be gwanted. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I xDD wiww UwU deny uWu thee uWu nyothing, 
^w^ Wheweon, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech ÚwÚ thee, gwant ;;w;; me uWu this, 
;;w;; To OwO weave ;;w;; me >_> but :3 a xDD wittwe to :3 mysewf. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Shall UwU I UwU deny you? No. UwU Faweweww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU Faweweww, x3 my :3 Desdemonya; I'll come to uWu thee stwaight. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. uWu Emiwia, x3 come. ^w^ Be >_< as x3 youw ^w^ fancies >_< teach uWu you; 
ÚwÚ Whate'ew xDD you be, UwU I ^w^ am xDD obedient. 
Exeunt Desdemona ÚwÚ and Emilia. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Excewwent OwO wwetch! ^w^ Pewdition catch x3 my x3 souw, 
OwO But UwU I UwU do wuv uWu thee! ÚwÚ and when UwU I wuv uWu thee >_> nyot, 
>_> Chaos >_> is come ;;w;; again. 
^-^ IAGO. OwO My x3 nyobwe wowd- 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What dost xDD thou say, ^-^ Iago? 
^-^ IAGO. Did ÚwÚ Michaew ^-^ Cassio, when xDD you woo'd x3 my UwU wady, 
xDD Knyow of x3 youw love? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >w< He ^-^ did, from xDD fiwst to last. Why dost xDD thou ask? 
^-^ IAGO. OwO But fow :3 a >_< satisfaction of x3 my thought; 
No further harm. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Why of >w< thy ^-^ thought, ^-^ Iago? 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I uWu did nyot think ^.^ he xDD had :33 been >_> acquainted with her. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< O, :3 yes, ÚwÚ and OwO went ^-^ between >_> us xDD vewy oft. 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; Indeed! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ Indeed? :33 ay, indeed. x3 Discewn'st xDD thou ^.^ aught uWu in ^-^ that? 
Is ^.^ he nyot honest? 
^-^ IAGO. Honest, x3 my xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Honest? Ay, honest. 
^-^ IAGO. OwO My uWu wowd, fow ^.^ aught UwU I :33 knyow. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What dost xDD thou x3 think? 
^-^ IAGO. :3 Think, x3 my xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Think, x3 my xDD wowd? ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, ^.^ he uWu echoes uWu me, 
;;w;; As >_> if there :3 wewe x3 some monstew uWu in :33 his xDD thought 
Too ^-^ hideous to be :3 shown. ^.^ Thou dost >_> mean OwO something. 
UwU I heard uWu thee >_> say even now, xDD thou uWu wike'st nyot :3 that, 
x3 When OwO Cassio left x3 my x3 wife. >_> What :33 didst nyot ^.^ wike? 
xDD And when UwU I told uWu thee ^.^ he UwU was of x3 my counsel 
^w^ In x3 my whole course of ^.^ wooing, xDD thou criedst, >w< "Indeed!" 
xDD And :33 didst ÚwÚ contwact ÚwÚ and >_< puwse >w< thy ^w^ bwow together, 
;;w;; As >_> if xDD thou xDD then >w< hadst shut x3 up uWu in >w< thy :3 bwain 
;;w;; Some howwibwe xDD conceit. ;;w;; If xDD thou dost wuv uWu me, 
uWu Show ;;w;; me >w< thy thought. 
^-^ IAGO. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you ^.^ knyow UwU I wuv OwO you. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I think xDD thou dost; 
xDD And fow UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< thou'wt full of wuv ÚwÚ and honesty 
xDD And UwU weigh'st >w< thy wowds >w< befowe xDD thou uWu givest them :33 bweath, 
Therefore these xDD stops of ^.^ thinye :33 fwight ;;w;; me x3 the mowe; 
For xDD such ^.^ things uWu in :3 a UwU fawse :3 diswoyaw x3 knyave 
^w^ Awe tricks of OwO custom; >_> but uWu in :3 a x3 man ^w^ that's >w< just 
They'we ^-^ cwose diwations, >w< wowking from x3 the uWu heawt, 
:33 That passion ;;w;; cannyot rule. 
^-^ IAGO. For ÚwÚ Michaew ^-^ Cassio, 
UwU I dawe be sworn UwU I think :3 that ^.^ he >_> is honest. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I think UwU so UwU too. 
^-^ IAGO. OwO Men >_> shouwd be >_> what ;;w;; they seem; 
:33 Ow UwU those :3 that be >_> nyot, ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they ^w^ might xDD seem >_< nyonye! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU Cewtain, ;;w;; men >_> shouwd be >_> what ;;w;; they x3 seem. 
^-^ IAGO. Why xDD then UwU I think uWu Cassio's >w< an xDD honyest man. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Nyay, yet there's ^.^ mowe uWu in UwU this. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, speak to ;;w;; me >_< as to >w< thy xDD thinkings, 
;;w;; As xDD thou dost >w< wuminyate, ÚwÚ and UwU give >w< thy worst of >_< thoughts 
uWu The worst of ÚwÚ wowds. 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, UwU pawdon OwO me; 
;;w;; Though UwU I ^w^ am bound to every ;;w;; act of >_< duty, 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot bound to :3 that aww xDD swaves OwO awe fwee ;;w;; to. 
Utter x3 my ^-^ thoughts? Why, >_> say ;;w;; they OwO awe ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ and x3 fawse; 
;;w;; As where's :3 that ^w^ pawace ÚwÚ wheweinto fouw ^.^ things 
Sometimes intwude ^w^ nyot? Who >_> has :3 a breast UwU so ÚwÚ puwe, 
OwO But x3 some UwU uncweanwy apprehensions 
^w^ Keep leets ÚwÚ and waw-days, ÚwÚ and uWu in OwO session sit 
With meditations lawful? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^.^ Thou dost xDD conspiwe OwO against >w< thy fwiend, >w< Iago, 
;;w;; If xDD thou >_> but think'st ^.^ him wrong'd ÚwÚ and >_> makest :33 his ear 
^-^ A stwangew to >w< thy >w< thoughts. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech :3 you- 
;;w;; Though UwU I x3 pewchance ^w^ am ^.^ vicious uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ guess, 
As, UwU I >_> confess, >w< it >_> is x3 my ;;w;; nyatuwe's pwague 
;;w;; To ^w^ spy x3 into x3 abuses, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; oft x3 my ^.^ jeawousy 
^-^ Shapes :33 fauwts :3 that OwO awe nyot- :3 that x3 youw ^.^ wisdom ^w^ yet, 
Fwom one :3 that UwU so imperfectly conceits, 
Wouwd OwO take nyo nyotice, nor buiwd >_> youwsewf :3 a >_> twoubwe 
UwU Out of :33 his uWu scattewing ÚwÚ and unsuwe UwU obsewvance. 
^.^ It :3 wewe nyot fow x3 youw :33 quiet nor x3 youw UwU good, 
x3 Nyow fow x3 my x3 manhood, :3 honyesty, ow wisdom, 
;;w;; To wet xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 my >w< thoughts. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What dost xDD thou ^.^ mean? 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ Good xDD nyame uWu in x3 man ÚwÚ and ^w^ woman, uWu deaw x3 my uWu wowd, 
Is x3 the x3 immediate jewel of uWu theiw souws. 
Who steals x3 my >_< puwse steals >w< twash; UwU 'tis UwU something, uWu nyothing; 
>_< 'Twas >_> minye, UwU 'tis his, ÚwÚ and >_> has :33 been ;;w;; swave to >w< thousands; 
OwO But ^.^ he :3 that :3 fiwches from ;;w;; me x3 my ÚwÚ good xDD nyame 
Robs ;;w;; me of :3 that which nyot >w< enwiches ^.^ him 
xDD And x3 makes ;;w;; me poor indeed. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, I'll ^.^ knyow >w< thy >w< thoughts. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> You cannot, >_> if x3 my >_< heawt :3 wewe uWu in x3 youw xDD hand; 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww >_> nyot, whiwst UwU 'tis uWu in x3 my OwO custody. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Ha! 
^-^ IAGO. >_< O, beware, x3 my uWu wowd, of jeawousy! 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the gween-eyed monster, which xDD doth ÚwÚ mock 
uWu The :3 meat >w< it xDD feeds :3 on. :33 That cuckold ;;w;; wives uWu in ÚwÚ bwiss 
UwU Who, xDD cewtain of :33 his fate, loves nyot :33 his wronger; 
OwO But >_< O, >_> what uWu damnyed ^w^ minyutes uWu tewws ^.^ he ^-^ o'ew 
Who dotes, yet doubts, :3 suspects, yet >_< stwongwy wuvs! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 O ^-^ misewy! 
^-^ IAGO. OwO Poow ÚwÚ and :3 content >_> is rich, ÚwÚ and rich >_< enyough; 
OwO But ^w^ wiches >_> finyewess >_> is >_< as poor >_< as winter 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that OwO evew OwO feaws ^.^ he UwU shaww be :3 poow. 
^-^ Good ^.^ heaven, x3 the >w< souws of aww x3 my twibe ;;w;; defend 
Fwom jeawousy! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Why, >w< why >_> is :3 this? 
x3 Think'st xDD thou UwU I'wd >_< make :3 a >w< wife of jeawousy, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; fowwow still x3 the :33 changes of x3 the ;;w;; moon 
With >w< fwesh suspicions? Nyo! ;;w;; To be >_> once uWu in doubt 
Is >_> once to be ^-^ wesowved. :3 Exchange ;;w;; me fow :3 a :33 goat 
x3 When UwU I UwU shaww turn x3 the business of x3 my :3 souw 
;;w;; To xDD such exsufflicate ÚwÚ and >_> bwown suwmises, 
:33 Matching >w< thy xDD infewence. 'Tis nyot to >_< make ;;w;; me jealous 
;;w;; To >_> say x3 my >w< wife >_> is faiw, xDD feeds weww, loves xDD company, 
Is fwee of ;;w;; speech, xDD sings, pways, ÚwÚ and :33 dances well; 
Whewe viwtue ;;w;; is, these OwO awe ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ viwtuous. 
x3 Nyow from >_< minye UwU own xDD weak xDD mewits xDD wiww UwU I dwaw 
uWu The xDD smawwest feaw ow doubt of her wevowt; 
For ^.^ she xDD had eyes ÚwÚ and ^-^ chose x3 me. :3 Nyo, >w< Iago, 
I'll >_> see >w< befowe UwU I doubt; when UwU I doubt, pwuv; 
xDD And on x3 the uWu pwoof, there >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but OwO this- 
UwU Away uWu at >_> once with wuv ow jeawousy! 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad of :33 it, fow nyow UwU I UwU shaww uWu have reason 
;;w;; To x3 show x3 the wuv ÚwÚ and >_> duty :3 that UwU I UwU beaw xDD you 
With fwankew >w< spiwit. >_< Thewefowe, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am xDD bound, 
Receive >w< it from x3 me. UwU I speak nyot yet of :33 pwoof. 
Wook to x3 youw :33 wife; uWu obsewve her weww with x3 Cassio; 
:3 Weaw x3 youw ^w^ eye thus, nyot jealous nor uWu secuwe. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have x3 youw fwee ÚwÚ and x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
UwU Out of uWu sewf-bounty be xDD abused. Wook to't. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU ouw countwy uWu disposition well; 
^w^ In :33 Venyice ;;w;; they UwU do wet heaven >_> see x3 the ^-^ pwanks 
^-^ They dawe nyot x3 show uWu theiw husbands; uWu theiw best >_> conscience 
Is nyot to ^w^ weave't >_< undonye, >_> but :33 keep't unknown. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Dost xDD thou >_> say so? 
^-^ IAGO. :33 She uWu did >w< deceive her ÚwÚ fathew, OwO mawwying uWu you; 
xDD And when ^.^ she ^w^ seem'd to ;;w;; shake ÚwÚ and feaw x3 youw looks, 
:33 She xDD wuvd them :3 most. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. xDD And UwU so ^.^ she ^.^ did. 
^-^ IAGO. Why, OwO go to UwU then. 
:33 She :3 that UwU so xDD young couwd UwU give x3 out xDD such :3 a ^.^ seeming, 
;;w;; To seel her father's eyes x3 up ^-^ cwose >_< as uWu oak- 
>w< He xDD thought uWu 'twas witchcwaft- >_> but UwU I ^w^ am much to ^w^ bwame; 
UwU I x3 humbwy UwU do :33 beseech xDD you of x3 youw UwU pawdon 
For ^w^ too much >w< woving OwO you. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I ^w^ am bound to uWu thee OwO fowevew. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ this hath :3 a xDD wittwe dash'd x3 youw spiwits. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a xDD jot, nyot :3 a jot. 
^-^ IAGO. :33 I'faith, UwU I feaw >w< it has. 
UwU I UwU hope xDD you xDD wiww OwO considew >_> what >_> is ^-^ spoke 
UwU Comes from x3 my love. OwO But UwU I UwU do >_> see ÚwÚ you'we OwO muvd; 
UwU I ^w^ am to pray xDD you nyot to ;;w;; stwain x3 my ÚwÚ speech 
;;w;; To gwossew >_> issues nor to wawgew :3 weach 
Than to suspicion. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I xDD wiww not. 
^-^ IAGO. Should xDD you UwU do >_> so, x3 my uWu wowd, 
OwO My ÚwÚ speech >_> shouwd faww x3 into xDD such ^-^ viwe >w< success 
>_< Which x3 my >_< thoughts aim nyot at. uWu Cassio's x3 my ÚwÚ wowthy >_< fwiend- 
OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ you'we :33 muvd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Nyo, nyot much :33 muvd. 
UwU I UwU do nyot think >_> but x3 Desdemonya's honest. 
^-^ IAGO. OwO Wong ^w^ wive ^.^ she so! ÚwÚ and ^-^ wong ^w^ wive xDD you to think so! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. xDD And ^w^ yet, >w< how ÚwÚ nyatuwe ewwing from :3 itsewf- 
^-^ IAGO. Ay, there's x3 the UwU point, OwO as- to be bold with :3 you- 
ÚwÚ Nyot to affect UwU many proposed OwO matches 
Of her UwU own clime, ÚwÚ compwexion, ÚwÚ and >_< degwee, 
:33 Wheweto ^.^ we >_> see uWu in aww ^.^ things ÚwÚ nyatuwe tends- 
ÚwÚ Foh, one OwO may smell uWu in xDD such :3 a xDD wiww UwU most UwU wank, 
Foul dispwopowtion, >_< thoughts ^w^ unnyatuwaw. 
OwO But UwU pawdon x3 me. UwU I UwU do nyot uWu in >_< position 
Distinctly speak of >w< hew; ^w^ though UwU I OwO may ;;w;; feaw, 
:3 Hew :33 wiww, uWu wecoiwing to her xDD bettew ^w^ judgement, 
^-^ May faww to >_< match xDD you with her countwy x3 fowms, 
xDD And happily wepent. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU Faweweww, farewell. 
;;w;; If ^.^ mowe xDD thou dost ÚwÚ pewceive, wet ;;w;; me ^.^ knyow mowe; 
Set on >w< thy >w< wife to observe. Weave uWu me, >w< Iago. 
^-^ IAGO. [Going.] OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Why uWu did UwU I mawwy? This xDD honyest creature ^-^ doubtwess 
^.^ Sees ÚwÚ and xDD knyows >_> mowe, much >_> mowe, than ^.^ he unfowds. 
^-^ IAGO. [Returning.] OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^w^ might entweat x3 youw honyow 
;;w;; To x3 scan ÚwÚ this ^.^ thing nyo >w< fuwthew; OwO weave >w< it to uWu time. 
;;w;; Though >w< it be ;;w;; fit :3 that OwO Cassio uWu have :33 his pwace, 
For >_< suwe ^.^ he ^.^ fiwws >w< it x3 up with great abiwity, 
Yet, >_> if xDD you uWu pwease to howd ^.^ him x3 off awhiwe, 
>_> You UwU shaww ^.^ by :3 that >_> pewceive ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :33 his means. 
xDD Nyote >_> if x3 youw uWu wady ;;w;; stwain :33 his entewtainment 
With xDD any >w< stwong ow ^.^ vehement >w< impowtunyity; 
Much xDD wiww be :3 seen uWu in x3 that. ^w^ In x3 the >_> meantime, 
Let ;;w;; me be xDD thought ^w^ too >w< busy uWu in x3 my uWu feaws- 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ wowthy cause UwU I uWu have to feaw UwU I ÚwÚ am- 
xDD And howd her >w< fwee, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw uWu honyow. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Fear nyot x3 my >_< guvwnment. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I >_> once ^.^ mowe OwO take x3 my >_< weave. ÚwÚ Exit. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. This fellow's of :33 exceeding :3 honyesty, 
xDD And xDD knyows aww qualities, with :3 a :33 weawnyed ^-^ spiwit, 
Of human deawings. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do ^-^ pwuv her haggawd, 
;;w;; Though :3 that her ^.^ jesses :3 wewe x3 my uWu deaw ^w^ heawtstwings, 
UwU I'wd whistwe her x3 off ÚwÚ and wet her down x3 the wind 
;;w;; To prey uWu at xDD fowtunye. Haply, fow UwU I ^w^ am black 
xDD And uWu have nyot UwU those soft parts of ^w^ convewsation 
:33 That chamberers have, ow fow UwU I ^w^ am decwinyed 
^.^ Into x3 the vale of :3 yeaws- yet ^w^ that's nyot much- 
>_> She's ;;w;; gonye. UwU I ^w^ am abused, ÚwÚ and x3 my relief 
:3 Must be to ^-^ woathe her. x3 O UwU cuwse of ^.^ mawwiage, 
:33 That ^.^ we ^.^ can caww these xDD dewicate ^-^ cweatuwes >_> ouws, 
xDD And nyot uWu theiw appetites! UwU I xDD had rather be :3 a ;;w;; toad, 
xDD And ^w^ wive ;;w;; upon x3 the >_> vapow of :3 a :33 dungeon, 
Than >_< keep :3 a ^-^ cownyew uWu in x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I wuv 
For OwO othews' uses. Yet, UwU 'tis x3 the pwague of great onyes: 
^w^ Pwewogatived OwO awe ;;w;; they less than x3 the ^-^ base; 
'Tis ^.^ destiny unshunnyabwe, ^.^ wike death. 
Even xDD then ÚwÚ this forked pwague >_> is :3 fated to >_> us 
x3 When ^.^ we UwU do quicken. Desdemona :3 comes: 

^.^ We-entew Desdemona ÚwÚ and Emilia. 

;;w;; If ^.^ she be :3 fawse, >_< O, xDD then heaven :3 mocks itself! 
I'll nyot bewieve't. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. How now, x3 my uWu deaw UwU Othewwo! 
uWu Youw xDD dinnyew, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO genyewous islanders 
^-^ By xDD you x3 invited, UwU do >_< attend x3 youw pwesence. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I ^w^ am to blame. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Why UwU do xDD you speak UwU so faintwy? 
^w^ Awe xDD you nyot ^.^ weww? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I uWu have :3 a :33 pain ;;w;; upon x3 my forehead hewe. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Faith, ^w^ that's with ;;w;; watching; 'twill OwO away ;;w;; again. 
Let ;;w;; me >_> but bind >w< it hawd, within ÚwÚ this >_> houw 
^.^ It xDD wiww be well. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Youw napkin >_> is ^w^ too UwU wittwe; 
>w< He puts x3 the handkerchief from :3 him, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ^.^ dwops :3 it. 
Let >w< it >_< awonye. ^.^ Come, I'll OwO go uWu in with OwO you. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy sowwy :3 that xDD you OwO awe nyot well. 
Exeunt Othewwo ÚwÚ and Desdemonya. 
EMILIA. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad UwU I uWu have >_> found ÚwÚ this nyapkin; 
This UwU was her xDD fiwst wemembwance from x3 the Moow. 
OwO My :33 waywawd :33 husband hath :3 a :3 hundwed times 
:33 Woo'd ;;w;; me to ^.^ steaw uWu it; >_> but ^.^ she UwU so loves x3 the token, 
For ^.^ he >_< conjuwed her ^.^ she >_> shouwd OwO evew >_< keep :33 it, 
:33 That ^.^ she uWu wesewves >w< it evewmowe about her 
;;w;; To :3 kiss ÚwÚ and tawk ;;w;; to. I'll uWu have x3 the ^.^ wowk >_> ta'en ^.^ out, 
xDD And >_> give't >w< Iago. >_> What ^.^ he xDD wiww UwU do with >w< it 
uWu Heaven ;;w;; knyows, nyot x3 I; 
UwU I >_< nyothing >_> but to uWu pwease :33 his OwO fantasy. 

^.^ We-entew >w< Iago. 

^-^ IAGO. How now, >_> what UwU do xDD you OwO hewe awonye? 
EMILIA. Do nyot xDD you x3 chide; UwU I uWu have :3 a ^.^ thing fow OwO you. 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ A ^.^ thing fow me? ^.^ It >_> is :3 a ^w^ common xDD thing- 
EMILIA. uWu Ha! 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; To uWu have :3 a >_< foowish x3 wife. 
EMILIA. >_< O, >_> is :3 that ÚwÚ aww? >_> What xDD wiww xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me nyow 
For :3 that same >w< handkewchief? 
^-^ IAGO. >_> What >w< handkewchief? 
EMILIA. >_> What >w< handkewchief? 
Why, :3 that x3 the Moor xDD fiwst uWu gave to >w< Desdemonya, 
:33 That which UwU so often xDD you uWu did bid ;;w;; me :33 steaw. 
^-^ IAGO. Hast :3 stow'n >w< it from OwO hew? 
EMILIA. :3 Nyo, xDD faith; ^.^ she wet >w< it >_< dwop ^.^ by >_> nyegwigence, 
^.^ And, to x3 the ÚwÚ advantage, UwU I ^.^ being OwO hewe ;;w;; took't :33 up. 
x3 Wook, OwO hewe >w< it >w< is. 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good ^.^ wench; UwU give >w< it x3 me. 
EMILIA. >_> What xDD wiww xDD you UwU do ^-^ with't, :3 that xDD you uWu have :33 been UwU so xDD eawnyest 
;;w;; To uWu have ;;w;; me :3 fiwch :33 it? 
^-^ IAGO. UwU [Snyatching x3 it.] Why, >_> what >_> is :3 that to you? 
EMILIA. >_> If't be nyot fow x3 some OwO puwpose of impowt, 
>_< Give't ;;w;; me ;;w;; again. OwO Poow UwU wady, ^.^ she'ww >w< wun ^-^ mad 
x3 When ^.^ she UwU shaww ^.^ wack :3 it. 
^-^ IAGO. ^w^ Be nyot x3 acknyown ^-^ on't; UwU I uWu have use fow :3 it. 
^w^ Go, OwO weave x3 me. uWu Exit Emilia. 
UwU I xDD wiww uWu in uWu Cassio's ;;w;; wodging wose ÚwÚ this nyapkin, 
xDD And wet ^.^ him find :3 it. >_< Twifwes >w< wight >_< as ^w^ aiw 
^w^ Awe to x3 the jealous x3 confiwmations >w< stwong 
;;w;; As proofs of >w< howy UwU wwit; ÚwÚ this OwO may UwU do OwO something. 
uWu The Moor xDD awweady :33 changes with x3 my x3 poison: 
^w^ Dangewous OwO conceits OwO awe uWu in uWu theiw natures >_< poisons, 
>_< Which uWu at x3 the xDD fiwst OwO awe scawce >_> found to OwO distaste, 
OwO But with :3 a xDD wittwe ;;w;; act ;;w;; upon x3 the :3 bwood 
Burn ^.^ wike x3 the >_< minyes of ÚwÚ suwphuw. UwU I uWu did >_> say :3 so. 
x3 Wook, :3 whewe ^.^ he comes! 

^.^ We-entew OwO Othewwo. 

ÚwÚ Nyot ;;w;; poppy, nor mandragora, 
x3 Nyow aww x3 the ^-^ dwowsy sywups of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
Shall OwO evew medicinye uWu thee to :3 that x3 sweet :33 sweep 
>_< Which xDD thou owedst yesterday. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >w< Ha, ha, UwU fawse to me? 
^-^ IAGO. Why, >w< how now, general! No ^.^ mowe of x3 that. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. OwO Avaunt! be ÚwÚ gonye! ^.^ Thou x3 hast uWu set ;;w;; me on x3 the rack. 
UwU I >_< sweaw UwU 'tis xDD bettew to be much :3 abused 
Than >_> but to ^.^ knyow't :3 a ^.^ wittwe. 
^-^ IAGO. How now, x3 my xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What sense xDD had UwU I of her :3 stow'n >_> houws of x3 wust? 
UwU I OwO saw't >_> nyot, xDD thought >w< it >_> nyot, >w< it hawm'd nyot OwO me; 
UwU I slept x3 the :3 nyext >w< nyight weww, UwU was fwee ÚwÚ and ;;w;; mewwy; 
UwU I >_> found nyot uWu Cassio's ^-^ kisses on her x3 wips. 
>w< He :3 that >_> is robb'd, nyot ^-^ wanting >_> what >_> is stol'n, 
Let ^.^ him nyot ^.^ knyow't ÚwÚ and uWu he's nyot wobb'd uWu at all. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy to hear UwU this. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I xDD had :33 been ^w^ happy >_> if x3 the general :3 camp, 
x3 Pionyews ÚwÚ and all, xDD had ^w^ tasted her x3 sweet ;;w;; body, 
^w^ So UwU I xDD had >_< nyothing knyown. >_< O, nyow ^w^ fowevew 
UwU Faweweww x3 the >w< twanquiw ÚwÚ mind! UwU Faweweww ^w^ content! 
UwU Faweweww x3 the plumed troop ÚwÚ and x3 the big UwU waws 
:33 That >_< make ^-^ ambition >_> viwtue! >_< O, farewell, 
UwU Faweweww x3 the xDD nyeighing :3 steed ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> shwiww :33 twump, 
uWu The >_< spiwit-stiwwing dwum, x3 the :33 eaw-piewcing ^.^ fife, 
uWu The royal banner, ÚwÚ and aww :3 quawity, 
^w^ Pwide, pomp, ÚwÚ and circumstance of glorious xDD waw! 
xDD And x3 O xDD you >w< mowtaw >w< enginyes, x3 whose wude ÚwÚ thwoats 
uWu The :3 immowtaw Juv's xDD dwead cwamows >_< countewfeit, 
>_< Faweweww! Othello's ^-^ occupation's ÚwÚ gonye! 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ Is't ÚwÚ possibwe, x3 my xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Viwwain, be >_< suwe xDD thou ^-^ pwuv x3 my wuv :3 a uWu whowe; 
^w^ Be >_< suwe of :3 it. Give ;;w;; me x3 the UwU ocuwaw OwO pwoof; 
:3 Ow, ^.^ by x3 the ^.^ wowth of :33 man's xDD etewnyaw x3 souw, 
^.^ Thou >w< hadst :33 been xDD bettew uWu have :33 been bown :3 a dog 
Than answew x3 my OwO waked :33 wwath! 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ Is't come to :3 this? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ Make ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ see't; ow uWu at x3 the least UwU so ^-^ pwuv :33 it, 
:33 That x3 the probation UwU beaw nyo ^-^ hinge nor loop 
;;w;; To ^w^ hang :3 a doubt xDD on; ow woe ;;w;; upon >w< thy wife! 
^-^ IAGO. OwO My x3 nyobwe wowd- 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ;;w;; If xDD thou dost ^-^ swandew her ÚwÚ and towtuwe uWu me, 
xDD Nyevew pray mowe; ;;w;; abandon aww ^-^ wemowse; 
On horror's >_> head uWu howwows ^w^ accumuwate; 
Do >_< deeds to >_< make heaven >_> weep, aww ^.^ eawth ÚwÚ amazed; 
For >_< nyothing ;;w;; canst xDD thou to uWu damnyation >_< add 
:3 Gweatew than x3 that. 
^-^ IAGO. x3 O grace! x3 O heaven ;;w;; defend me! 
^w^ Awe xDD you :3 a man? uWu have xDD you :3 a :3 souw ow >_< sense? 
^w^ God be ÚwÚ wi' uWu you; OwO take >_< minye ^w^ office. x3 O wwetched x3 foow, 
:33 That OwO wivest to >_< make ^.^ thinye honesty :3 a vice! 
x3 O monstwous ;;w;; wowwd! ^.^ Take :3 nyote, OwO take :3 nyote, x3 O ^w^ wowwd, 
;;w;; To be direct ÚwÚ and xDD honyest >_> is nyot ^w^ safe. 
UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow ÚwÚ this >w< pwofit, ÚwÚ and from >w< hence 
I'll wuv nyo :33 fwiend sith wuv breeds xDD such offense. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Nyay, >_< stay; xDD thou shouwdst be honest. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I >_> shouwd be OwO wise; fow ^-^ honyesty's :3 a x3 foow, 
xDD And loses :3 that >w< it wowks ;;w;; fow. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ By x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
UwU I think x3 my >w< wife be OwO honyest, ÚwÚ and think ^.^ she >_> is x3 nyot; 
UwU I think :3 that xDD thou awt >_< just, ÚwÚ and think xDD thou awt not. 
I'll uWu have x3 some :33 pwoof. :3 Hew :33 nyame, :3 that UwU was >_< as >w< fwesh 
;;w;; As Dian's ;;w;; visage, >_> is nyow :33 begwimed ÚwÚ and black 
;;w;; As >_< minye UwU own ;;w;; face. ;;w;; If there be cowds ow knives, 
uWu Poison ow ^w^ fiwe, ow :3 suffocating streams, 
I'll nyot OwO enduwe :3 it. Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe ÚwÚ satisfied! 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I see, ^w^ siw, xDD you OwO awe eaten x3 up with :3 passion; 
UwU I UwU do wepent ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I put >w< it to OwO you. 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd be x3 satisfied? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :33 Wouwd? Nyay, UwU I :33 wiww. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD And may. But, ÚwÚ how? >w< how satisfied, x3 my xDD wowd? 
Wouwd UwU you, x3 the ;;w;; supewvisow, grossly >_> gape ^-^ on? 
ÚwÚ Behowd her >_< topp'd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> Death ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ damnyation! :3 O! 
^-^ IAGO. ^.^ It :3 wewe :3 a tedious uWu difficuwty, UwU I >_< think, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing them to :3 that >w< pwospect. >_> Damn them >w< then, 
;;w;; If OwO evew >w< mowtaw eyes UwU do >_> see them bolster 
uWu Mowe than uWu theiw :33 own! >_> What ^w^ then? >w< how ^w^ then? 
>_> What UwU shaww UwU I ^.^ say? :3 Whewe's ÚwÚ satisfaction? 
^.^ It >_> is xDD impossibwe xDD you >_> shouwd >_> see ÚwÚ this 
^.^ Wewe ;;w;; they >_< as prime >_< as ^.^ goats, >_< as :3 hot >_< as >_< monkeys, 
;;w;; As ^-^ sawt >_< as wolves uWu in pride, ÚwÚ and foows >_< as gwoss 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ ignyowance UwU made drunk. OwO But ^w^ yet, UwU I say, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; imputation ÚwÚ and >w< stwong circumstances, 
>_< Which lead xDD diwectwy to x3 the doow of truth, 
Will UwU give xDD you x3 satisfaction, xDD you OwO may xDD have't. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Give ;;w;; me :3 a UwU wiving reason ^w^ she's ^.^ diswoyaw. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike x3 the office; 
OwO But sith UwU I ^w^ am entew'd uWu in ÚwÚ this cause UwU so far, 
:3 Pwick'd uWu to't ^.^ by >_< foowish honesty ÚwÚ and xDD wuv, 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO go :3 on. UwU I uWu way with OwO Cassio :3 watewy 
^.^ And, ^.^ being troubled with :3 a waging >_> tooth, 
UwU I couwd nyot OwO sweep. 
>_> Thewe OwO awe :3 a uWu kind of ;;w;; men UwU so ;;w;; woose of x3 souw, 
:33 That uWu in uWu theiw sweeps xDD wiww mutter uWu theiw affaiws; 
x3 Onye of ÚwÚ this uWu kind >_> is :33 Cassio. 
^w^ In :33 sweep UwU I heard ^.^ him say, "Sweet >w< Desdemonya, 
Let >_> us be >_> wawy, wet >_> us hide UwU ouw >w< wuvs"; 
xDD And >w< then, ^w^ siw, ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he gripe ÚwÚ and wring x3 my uWu hand, 
;;w;; Cwy, "O x3 sweet creature!" ÚwÚ and xDD then :3 kiss ;;w;; me hawd, 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ he ^w^ pwuck'd x3 up ^-^ kisses ^.^ by x3 the woots, 
:33 That ^-^ gwew ;;w;; upon x3 my lips; xDD then laid :33 his >_< weg 
Over x3 my >w< thigh, ÚwÚ and xDD sigh'd ÚwÚ and OwO kiss'd; ÚwÚ and xDD then 
Cried, UwU "Cuwsed fate :3 that uWu gave uWu thee to x3 the >w< Moow!" 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 O UwU monstwous! UwU monstwous! 
^-^ IAGO. Nyay, ÚwÚ this UwU was >_> but :33 his UwU dweam. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. OwO But ÚwÚ this denoted :3 a :3 fowegonye ^.^ concwusion. 
'Tis :3 a shrewd doubt, ^w^ though >w< it be >_> but :3 a UwU dweam. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD And ÚwÚ this OwO may OwO hewp to thicken othew proofs 
:33 That UwU do demonstrate ^w^ thinwy. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. I'll teaw her aww to x3 pieces. 
^-^ IAGO. Nyay, >_> but be OwO wise; yet ^.^ we >_> see >_< nyothing donye; 
:33 She OwO may be xDD honyest >_> yet. Teww ;;w;; me >_> but >_< this; 
:3 Have xDD you nyot x3 sometimes :3 seen :3 a handkerchief 
xDD Spotted with strawberries uWu in x3 youw ^w^ wife's hand? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I uWu gave her xDD such :3 a onye; uWu 'twas x3 my xDD fiwst uWu gift. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :33 that; >_> but xDD such :3 a handkerchief- 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe >w< it UwU was x3 youw ;;w;; wife's- uWu did UwU I today 
xDD See OwO Cassio xDD wipe :33 his ^w^ beawd with. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ;;w;; If >w< it be >_< that- 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; If >w< it be :3 that, ow xDD any :3 that UwU was ÚwÚ hews, 
^.^ It xDD speaks OwO against her with x3 the othew ^w^ pwoofs. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< O, :3 that x3 the ;;w;; swave xDD had >w< fowty thousand lives! 
x3 Onye >_> is ^w^ too OwO poow, ^w^ too xDD weak fow x3 my revenge. 
Now UwU do UwU I >_> see UwU 'tis true. Wook UwU hewe, >w< Iago, 
All x3 my fond wuv OwO thus UwU do UwU I ^w^ bwow to UwU heaven. 
'Tis ;;w;; gonye. 
Awise, black vengeance, from >w< thy OwO howwow >_< heww! 
;;w;; Yiewd up, x3 O xDD wuv, >w< thy >_< cwown ÚwÚ and heawted >_< thwonye 
;;w;; To tywannyous hate! :3 Sweww, x3 bosom, with >w< thy ;;w;; fwaught, 
For UwU 'tis of x3 aspics' ;;w;; tongues! 
^-^ IAGO. ÚwÚ Yet be OwO content. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< O, bwood, bwood, UwU bwood! 
^-^ IAGO. >w< Patience, UwU I say; x3 youw ^-^ mind ^-^ pewhaps OwO may :3 change. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Nyevew, >w< Iago. Wike to x3 the Pontic ÚwÚ Sea, 
>_< Whose >_< icy :3 cuwwent ÚwÚ and compulsive course 
Nye'ew feews *leans over* wetiwing >_< ebb, >_> but keeps >_< due on 
;;w;; To x3 the xDD Pwopontic ÚwÚ and x3 the Hellespont, 
Even UwU so x3 my bwoody thoughts, with :3 viowent pace, 
Shall ^w^ nye'ew wook back, ^w^ nye'ew ebb to humble xDD wuv, 
Tiww :3 that :3 a capabwe ÚwÚ and uWu wide xDD wevenge 
Swallow them :33 up. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by :33 yond OwO mawbwe ^.^ heaven, 
^w^ In x3 the >_< due ^w^ wevewence of :3 a uWu sacwed vow Kneels. 
UwU I OwO hewe :33 engage x3 my ÚwÚ wowds. 
^-^ IAGO. Do nyot rise >_> yet. Kneels. 
xDD Witnyess, xDD you :3 evew-buwnying wights xDD abuv, 
>_> You ÚwÚ ewements :3 that cwip >_> us ;;w;; wound about, 
Witness :3 that OwO hewe OwO Iago xDD doth UwU give x3 up 
uWu The :33 execution of :33 his ^w^ wit, ^.^ hands, uWu heawt, 
;;w;; To wrong'd Othello's service! Let ^.^ him >_> command, 
xDD And to UwU obey UwU shaww be uWu in ;;w;; me wemowse, 
>_> What bwoody business ever. ^-^ They uWu wise. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I x3 gweet >w< thy xDD wuv, 
ÚwÚ Nyot with :33 vain thanks, >_> but with >w< acceptance UwU bounteous, 
xDD And xDD wiww ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 instant put uWu thee x3 to't: 
OwO Within these >w< thwee OwO days wet ;;w;; me hear uWu thee >_> say 
:33 That uWu Cassio's nyot alive. 
^-^ IAGO. OwO My :33 fwiend >_> is >_< dead, UwU 'tis donye uWu at x3 youw :3 wequest; 
OwO But wet her wive. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> Damn hew, x3 wewd minx! >_< O, damn >_> hew! 
^.^ Come, OwO go with ;;w;; me uWu apawt; UwU I xDD wiww :3 withdwaw, 
;;w;; To furnish ;;w;; me with x3 some UwU swift means of :33 death 
For x3 the >w< faiw deviw. Now awt xDD thou x3 my uWu wieutenyant. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw UwU own OwO fowevew. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
^.^ Befowe x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew >w< Desdemonya, uWu Emiwia, ÚwÚ and OwO Cwown. 

x3 DESDEMONyA. Do xDD you knyow, sirrah, :3 whewe Wieutenyant OwO Cassio uWu wies? 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I dawe nyot >_> say ^.^ he wies anywhewe. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Why, man? 
uWu CWOWN. He's :3 a UwU sowdiew; ÚwÚ and fow one to >_> say :3 a soldier lies, >_> is 
:33 stabbing. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Go ÚwÚ to! Whewe ^.^ wodges uWu he? 
uWu CWOWN. ;;w;; To tell xDD you :3 whewe ^.^ he ;;w;; wodges, >_> is to tell xDD you :3 whewe UwU I xDD wie. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU Can ;;w;; anything be UwU made of :3 this? 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :3 whewe ^.^ he ;;w;; wodges, ÚwÚ and fow ;;w;; me to >w< devise :3 a :33 wodging, 
ÚwÚ and >_> say ^.^ he wies OwO hewe ow ^.^ he wies thewe, :3 wewe to >_< wie uWu in >_< minye UwU own 
uWu thwoat. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU Can xDD you ^.^ inquiwe ^.^ him x3 out ÚwÚ and be edified ^.^ by report? 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I xDD wiww UwU catechize x3 the wowwd fow him; :3 that ;;w;; is, >_< make UwU questions 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ by them answer. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ;;w;; Seek :3 him, bid ^.^ him come hithew. Teww ^.^ him UwU I uWu have ^-^ muvd x3 my 
;;w;; wowd on :33 his behawf ÚwÚ and UwU hope aww xDD wiww be well. 
uWu CWOWN. ;;w;; To UwU do ÚwÚ this >_> is within x3 the compass of :33 man's ^w^ wit, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 attempt x3 the xDD doing :3 it. ÚwÚ Exit. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Whewe >_> shouwd UwU I wose :3 that handkerchief, ^w^ Emiwia? 
EMILIA. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, UwU madam. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :3 Bewieve uWu me, UwU I xDD had rather uWu have wost x3 my >_< puwse 
Full of :3 cwusadoes; x3 and, >_> but x3 my x3 nyobwe Moor 
Is true of ^-^ mind ÚwÚ and UwU made of nyo xDD such baseness 
;;w;; As jealous ^-^ cweatuwes awe, >w< it :3 wewe enough 
;;w;; To put ^.^ him to :33 iww ÚwÚ thinking. 
EMILIA. Is ^.^ he nyot :3 jeawous? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU Who, uWu he? UwU I think x3 the sun :3 whewe ^.^ he UwU was bown 
^.^ Dwew aww xDD such :3 humows from ^.^ him. 
EMILIA. x3 Wook, :3 whewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO weave ^.^ him nyow >w< tiww OwO Cassio 
^w^ Be ^w^ caww'd to ^.^ him. 

Entew OwO Othewwo. 

How :3 is't with UwU you, x3 my xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. xDD Weww, x3 my ÚwÚ good >_> wady. >_< [Aside.] >_< O, ^.^ hawdnyess to OwO dissembwe! 
How UwU do UwU you, ^w^ Desdemonya? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. xDD Weww, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. This uWu hand >_> is moist, x3 my >_> wady. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^.^ It yet >_> has UwU fewt nyo age nor ÚwÚ knyown nyo ;;w;; sowwow. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. This ÚwÚ awgues fruitfulness ÚwÚ and xDD wibewaw heawt; 
>_> Hot, >_> hot, ÚwÚ and moist. This uWu hand of >_> youws uWu wequiwes 
^-^ A OwO sequestew from >w< wibewty, ^.^ fasting, ÚwÚ and prayer, 
Much :33 castigation, ÚwÚ exewcise :33 devout, 
For hewe's :3 a xDD young ÚwÚ and :3 sweating ^.^ deviw OwO hewe 
:33 That uWu commonwy >_> webews. 'Tis :3 a ÚwÚ good uWu hand, 
^-^ A xDD fwank onye. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_> You may, :33 indeed, >_> say so; 
For uWu 'twas :3 that uWu hand :3 that uWu gave OwO away x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ A xDD wibewaw >w< hand. uWu The heawts of ;;w;; owd uWu gave hands; 
OwO But UwU ouw x3 nyew ^-^ hewawdwy >_> is ^.^ hands, nyot >w< heawts. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot speak of UwU this. :3 Come now, x3 youw pwomise. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What ;;w;; pwomise, ^.^ chuck? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I uWu have sent to bid OwO Cassio come speak with OwO you. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I uWu have :3 a ^-^ sawt ÚwÚ and sowwy rheum offends OwO me; 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me >w< thy handkewchief. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Here, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :33 That which UwU I uWu gave OwO you. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I uWu have >w< it nyot about x3 me. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Not? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :3 Nyo, ^w^ faith, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >w< That's :3 a ^-^ fauwt. :33 That handkerchief 
Did >w< an >_< Egyptian to x3 my mothew ^w^ give; 
:33 She UwU was :3 a ÚwÚ chawmew, ÚwÚ and couwd almost ^w^ wead 
uWu The >_< thoughts of ^-^ peopwe. :33 She told hew, OwO whiwe ^.^ she :33 kept :33 it, 
;;w;; 'Twouwd >_< make her :3 amiabwe ÚwÚ and uWu subdue x3 my >w< fathew 
x3 Entiwewy to her xDD wuv, >_> but >_> if ^.^ she wost >w< it 
:33 Ow UwU made :3 a ^w^ gift of :33 it, x3 my father's ^w^ eye 
Should howd her >_< woathed ÚwÚ and :33 his ;;w;; spiwits >_> shouwd OwO hunt 
>w< Aftew x3 nyew ^w^ fancies. :33 She dying uWu gave >w< it uWu me, 
xDD And bid uWu me, when x3 my fate ^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; me x3 wive, 
;;w;; To UwU give >w< it her. UwU I uWu did >_> so, ÚwÚ and OwO take :3 heed ^-^ on't; 
^-^ Make >w< it :3 a :3 dawwing ^.^ wike x3 youw >_< pwecious >_< eye; 
;;w;; To wose't ow >_> give't OwO away :3 wewe xDD such ;;w;; pewdition 
;;w;; As >_< nyothing >_> ewse couwd match. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^-^ Is't possible? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. 'Tis true; there's >w< magic uWu in x3 the uWu web of :3 it. 
^-^ A uWu sibyw, :3 that xDD had nyumbew'd uWu in x3 the wowwd 
uWu The sun to course >w< two :3 hundwed compasses, 
^w^ In her ÚwÚ pwophetic UwU fuwy >_< sew'd x3 the >_> wowk; 
uWu The wowms :3 wewe hawwow'd :3 that uWu did breed x3 the siwk, 
xDD And >w< it UwU was x3 dyed uWu in mummy which x3 the OwO skiwwfuw 
ÚwÚ Consewved of maiden's >w< heawts. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ;;w;; Indeed! :3 is't twue? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Most veritable; >_< thewefowe wook uWu to't well. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU Then ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God :3 that UwU I xDD had >_< nyevew :3 seen't! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Ha! OwO whewefowe? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Why UwU do xDD you speak UwU so ^w^ stawtingwy ÚwÚ and >_> wash? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ Is't lost? :3 is't gone? :3 speak, >_> is >w< it x3 out ^.^ o' x3 the >w< way? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. uWu Heaven ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ us! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 Say you? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^.^ It >_> is nyot ^.^ wost; >_> but >_> what >w< an >_> if >w< it OwO wewe? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ÚwÚ How? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I say, >w< it >_> is nyot :3 wost. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 Fetch't, wet ;;w;; me >_> see :3 it. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Why, UwU so UwU I ^-^ can, ^w^ siw, >_> but UwU I xDD wiww nyot now. 
This >_> is :3 a twick to put ;;w;; me from x3 my OwO suit. 
>_> Pway UwU you, wet OwO Cassio be uWu weceived ;;w;; again. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ Fetch ;;w;; me x3 the handkerchief, x3 my ^-^ mind misgives. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^.^ Come, come, 
You'll >_< nyevew :3 meet :3 a ^.^ mowe sufficient man. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu The x3 handkewchief! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I pray, tawk ;;w;; me of :33 Cassio. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu The x3 handkewchief! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^-^ A x3 man :3 that aww :33 his time 
>_< Hath uWu founded :33 his ÚwÚ good fowtunyes on x3 youw xDD wuv, 
Shared >_> dangews with :3 you- 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu The x3 handkewchief! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^w^ In sooth, xDD you OwO awe to blame. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> Away! ÚwÚ Exit. 
EMILIA. Is nyot ÚwÚ this x3 man :3 jeawous? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I ^w^ nye'ew saw ÚwÚ this befowe. 
Sure there's x3 some wonder uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD handkewchief; 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU most xDD unhappy uWu in x3 the ^-^ woss of :3 it. 
EMILIA. 'Tis nyot :3 a xDD yeaw ow >w< two >_< shows >_> us :3 a man. 
^-^ They OwO awe aww >_> but ^w^ stomachs ÚwÚ and ^.^ we aww >_> but ;;w;; food; 
^-^ They eat >_> us x3 hungewwy, ÚwÚ and when ;;w;; they OwO awe full 
^-^ They :3 bewch >_> us. Wook you! OwO Cassio ÚwÚ and x3 my husband. 

Entew OwO Cassio ÚwÚ and >w< Iago. 

^-^ IAGO. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo othew way; UwU 'tis ^.^ she ^w^ must >_< do't. 
^.^ And, ^.^ wo, x3 the happiness! Go ÚwÚ and :33 impowtunye her. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. How now, ÚwÚ good x3 Cassio! x3 What's x3 the nyews with you? 
>_< CASSIO. uWu Madam, x3 my xDD fowmew ^.^ suit: UwU I UwU do :33 beseech xDD you 
:33 That ^.^ by x3 youw virtuous means UwU I OwO may again 
uWu Exist ÚwÚ and be :3 a member of :33 his wuv 
;;w;; Whom UwU I with aww x3 the ^.^ office of x3 my >_< heawt 
x3 Entiwewy uWu honyow. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be delay'd. 
;;w;; If x3 my offense be of xDD such >w< mowtaw uWu kind 
:33 That nor x3 my OwO sewvice x3 past nor xDD pwesent ^w^ sowwows 
x3 Nyow puwposed merit uWu in futurity 
UwU Can wansom ;;w;; me x3 into :33 his wuv OwO again, 
OwO But to ^.^ knyow UwU so ^w^ must be x3 my >_> benyefit; 
^w^ So UwU shaww UwU I UwU cwothe ;;w;; me uWu in :3 a xDD fowced :3 content 
xDD And shut mysewf x3 up uWu in x3 some othew course 
;;w;; To Fowtunye's UwU awms. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ÚwÚ Awas, thwice-gentwe x3 Cassio! 
OwO My uWu advocation >_> is nyot nyow uWu in x3 tunye; 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd >_> is nyot x3 my uWu wowd, nor >_> shouwd UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ he uWu in x3 favow >_< as uWu in humor :3 awtew'd. 
^w^ So OwO hewp ;;w;; me every ^w^ spiwit UwU sanctified, 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have >w< spoken fow xDD you aww x3 my best 
xDD And :33 stood within x3 the ;;w;; bwank of :33 his >_< dispweasuwe 
For x3 my fwee speech! >_> You ^w^ must ^-^ awhiwe be uWu patient. 
>_> What UwU I ^.^ can UwU do UwU I :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe UwU I xDD wiww 
Than fow mysewf UwU I OwO dawe. Let :3 that x3 suffice OwO you. 
^-^ IAGO. Is x3 my ;;w;; wowd ^.^ angwy? 
EMILIA. >w< He OwO went >w< hence >_> but now, 
xDD And :3 cewtainwy uWu in ;;w;; stwange >_< unquietnyess. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU Can ^.^ he be ^.^ angwy? UwU I uWu have :3 seen x3 the cannon, 
x3 When >w< it hath >_> bwown :33 his ;;w;; wanks x3 into x3 the ^w^ aiw 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike x3 the deviw, from :33 his xDD vewy awm 
x3 Puff'd :33 his UwU own ^-^ bwothew. xDD And ^.^ can ^.^ he be ^.^ angwy? 
xDD Something of x3 moment UwU then. UwU I xDD wiww OwO go :3 meet ^.^ him. 
>_> Thewe's ;;w;; mattew OwO in't ÚwÚ indeed >_> if ^.^ he be >w< angwy. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, UwU do :3 so. uWu Exit >w< Iago. 
xDD Something >_< suwe of state, 
^-^ Eithew from :33 Venyice ow x3 some unhatch'd pwactice 
Made demonstwabwe OwO hewe uWu in OwO Cypwus to :3 him, 
>_< Hath ;;w;; puddwed :33 his ^-^ cweaw uWu spiwit; ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD such xDD cases 
xDD Men's natures wrangle with :33 infewiow :3 things, 
;;w;; Though great ^-^ onyes OwO awe uWu theiw xDD object. 'Tis even so; 
For wet UwU ouw finger uWu ache, ÚwÚ and >w< it OwO indues 
Our othew OwO heawthfuw members even to :3 that sense 
Of OwO pain. Nyay, ^.^ we ^w^ must think ;;w;; men OwO awe nyot uWu gods, 
x3 Nyow of them wook fow xDD such OwO obsewvancy 
;;w;; As ^w^ fits x3 the bwidaw. Beshrew ;;w;; me ÚwÚ much, uWu Emiwia, 
UwU I UwU was, >_> unhandsome warrior >_< as UwU I am, 
UwU Awwaignying :33 his unkindnyess with x3 my ^.^ souw; 
OwO But nyow UwU I find UwU I xDD had >_< subown'd x3 the ^.^ witnyess, 
xDD And uWu he's >w< indicted falsely. 
EMILIA. >_> Pway heaven >w< it be >w< state mattews, >_< as xDD you >_< think, 
xDD And nyo OwO conception nor nyo jealous uWu toy 
^w^ Concewnying OwO you. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Awas x3 the ^-^ day, UwU I >_< nyevew uWu gave ^.^ him >w< cause! 
EMILIA. OwO But jealous >w< souws xDD wiww nyot be x3 answew'd so; 
^-^ They OwO awe nyot OwO evew jealous fow x3 the >_< cause, 
OwO But jealous fow ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU jeawous. 'Tis :3 a monstew 
ÚwÚ Begot ;;w;; upon itself, bown on itself. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. uWu Heaven >_< keep :3 that monstew from Othello's ÚwÚ mind! 
EMILIA. Lady, amen. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I xDD wiww OwO go >_> seek ^.^ him. ^-^ Cassio, UwU wawk uWu heweabout. 
;;w;; If UwU I UwU do find ^.^ him >w< fit, I'll move x3 youw ^.^ suit, 
xDD And >_> seek to ^w^ effect >w< it to x3 my uttewmost. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank x3 youw ladyship. 
Exeunt Desdemona ÚwÚ and Emilia. 

Entew ÚwÚ Bianca. 

xDD BIANCA. :3 Save UwU you, :33 fwiend x3 Cassio! 
>_< CASSIO. >_> What >_< make xDD you from ^w^ home? 
How >_> is >w< it with UwU you, x3 my UwU most >w< faiw uWu Bianca? 
:33 I'faith, x3 sweet xDD wuv, UwU I UwU was xDD coming to x3 youw ÚwÚ house. 
xDD BIANCA. xDD And UwU I UwU was x3 going to x3 youw :33 wodging, :33 Cassio. 
What, >_< keep :3 a >_< week ÚwÚ away? ÚwÚ seven OwO days ÚwÚ and x3 nyights? 
ÚwÚ Eight ÚwÚ scowe eight houws? ÚwÚ and wuvws' absent houws, 
uWu Mowe tedious than x3 the OwO diaw eight ÚwÚ scowe :33 times? 
x3 O ÚwÚ weawy ^-^ weckonying! 
>_< CASSIO. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, ÚwÚ Bianca. 
UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ this OwO whiwe with weaden >_< thoughts :33 been ^w^ pwess'd; 
OwO But UwU I UwU shaww uWu in :3 a ^.^ mowe continuate time 
OwO Stwike x3 off ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ scowe of OwO absence. ÚwÚ Sweet ^-^ Bianca, 
>w< Gives her x3 Desdemonya's handkewchief. 
^.^ Take ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this ^.^ wowk OwO out. 
xDD BIANCA. x3 O ^-^ Cassio, >_> whence ^-^ came :3 this? 
This >_> is x3 some ;;w;; token from :3 a nyewew :3 fwiend. 
;;w;; To x3 the UwU fewt >w< absence nyow UwU I x3 feew :3 a OwO cause. 
^-^ Is't come to :3 this? xDD Weww, well. 
>_< CASSIO. Go ^.^ to, OwO woman! 
Throw x3 youw ^-^ viwe guesses uWu in x3 the >_> deviw's teeth, 
Fwom >_> whence xDD you uWu have OwO them. >_> You OwO awe jealous nyow 
:33 That ÚwÚ this >_> is from x3 some ^-^ mistwess, x3 some :3 wemembwance. 
:3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ Bianca. 
xDD BIANCA. Why, x3 whose >_> is :33 it? 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, sweet. UwU I >_> found >w< it uWu in x3 my ^.^ chambew. 
UwU I ^.^ wike x3 the ^.^ wowk well. Ere >w< it be x3 demanded- 
;;w;; As ^.^ wike enough >w< it ;;w;; wiww- UwU I'wd uWu have >w< it copied. 
^.^ Take :33 it, ÚwÚ and OwO do't; ÚwÚ and OwO weave ;;w;; me fow ÚwÚ this uWu time. 
xDD BIANCA. Weave you! OwO whewefowe? 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I UwU do >_< attend OwO hewe on x3 the ^-^ genyewaw; 
xDD And think >w< it nyo addition, nor x3 my wish, 
;;w;; To uWu have ^.^ him >_> see ;;w;; me :3 woman'd. 
xDD BIANCA. Why, UwU I pray you? 
>_< CASSIO. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that UwU I wuv xDD you not. 
xDD BIANCA. OwO But :3 that xDD you UwU do nyot wuv x3 me. 
UwU I pray UwU you, ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me on x3 the uWu way :3 a UwU wittwe, 
xDD And >_> say >_> if UwU I UwU shaww >_> see xDD you >w< soon uWu at OwO nyight. 
>_< CASSIO. 'Tis >_> but :3 a xDD wittwe uWu way :3 that UwU I ^.^ can ;;w;; bwing UwU you, 
For UwU I >_< attend UwU hewe, >_> but I'll >_> see xDD you :33 soon. 
xDD BIANCA. 'Tis xDD vewy good; UwU I ^w^ must be uWu ciwcumstanced. :33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
:3 Cypwus. ^.^ Befowe x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew Othewwo ÚwÚ and >w< Iago. 

^-^ IAGO. Will xDD you think so? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^w^ Think >_> so, ^-^ Iago? 
^-^ IAGO. What, 
;;w;; To :3 kiss uWu in private? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ An unyauthowized >w< kiss. 
^-^ IAGO. :33 Ow to be nyaked with her :33 fwiend uWu in x3 bed 
^-^ An >_> houw ow >_> mowe, nyot meaning xDD any harm? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^w^ Nyaked uWu in ^.^ bed, >w< Iago, ÚwÚ and nyot >_> mean >_< hawm! 
^.^ It >_> is hypocrisy OwO against x3 the deviw. 
^-^ They :3 that >_> mean >w< viwtuouswy ÚwÚ and yet UwU do >_> so, 
uWu The ^.^ deviw uWu theiw viwtue tempts ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they tempt UwU heaven. 
^-^ IAGO. ^w^ So ;;w;; they UwU do uWu nyothing, UwU 'tis :3 a venial UwU swip. 
OwO But >_> if UwU I UwU give x3 my >w< wife :3 a handkerchief- 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What ^w^ then? 
^-^ IAGO. Why, >w< then, UwU 'tis ÚwÚ hews, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ being ÚwÚ hews, 
:33 She may, UwU I >_< think, ÚwÚ bestow't on xDD any man. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :33 She >_> is protectress of her honyow UwU too. 
^-^ May ^.^ she UwU give ^-^ that? 
^-^ IAGO. :3 Hew honyow >_> is >w< an essence ^w^ that's nyot uWu seen; 
^-^ They uWu have >w< it xDD vewy ;;w;; oft :3 that uWu have >w< it not. 
OwO But fow x3 the handkerchief- 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU most gwadwy uWu have fowgot :3 it. 
^.^ Thou ^w^ said'st- >_< O, >w< it x3 comes ^-^ o'ew x3 my xDD memowy, 
;;w;; As xDD doth x3 the >_> waven ^-^ o'ew x3 the xDD infected house, 
^.^ Boding to ;;w;; aww- ^.^ he xDD had x3 my handkewchief. 
^-^ IAGO. Ay, >_> what of ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >w< That's nyot UwU so ÚwÚ good now. 
^-^ IAGO. What, 
;;w;; If UwU I xDD had uWu said UwU I xDD had :3 seen ^.^ him UwU do xDD you ÚwÚ wwong? 
:33 Ow heard ^.^ him UwU say- >_< as knyaves be xDD such >_> abwoad, 
Who x3 having, ^.^ by uWu theiw UwU own importunate ^.^ suit, 
:33 Ow ;;w;; vowuntawy ^.^ dotage of x3 some ^-^ mistwess, 
:33 Convinced ow x3 suppwied ÚwÚ them, ;;w;; cannyot choose 
OwO But ;;w;; they ^w^ must blab- 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< Hath ^.^ he uWu said >_> anything? 
^-^ IAGO. >w< He :33 hath, x3 my wowd; >_> but be xDD you weww ^.^ assuwed, 
No ^.^ mowe than he'ww OwO unsweaw. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What hath ^.^ he UwU said? 
^-^ IAGO. Faith, :3 that ^.^ he OwO did- UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what ^.^ he ^.^ did. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. What? UwU what? 
^-^ IAGO. :3 Wie- 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. With OwO hew? 
^-^ IAGO. With hew, on hew, >_> what xDD you :33 wiww. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Lie with >_> hew! >_< wie on >_> hew! We >_> say >_< wie on hew, when ;;w;; they 
belie her. Lie with >_> hew! ^w^ 'Zounds, ^w^ that's fuwsome! Handkerchief- 
x3 confessions- x3 handkewchief! ;;w;; To x3 confess ÚwÚ and be hanged fow :33 his labor- 
ÚwÚ fiwst, to be UwU hanged, ÚwÚ and xDD then to confess. UwU I :3 twembwe uWu at :3 it. 
ÚwÚ Nyatuwe ^.^ wouwd nyot ;;w;; invest herself uWu in xDD such >_> shadowing passion ^-^ without 
x3 some :3 instwuction. ^.^ It >_> is nyot wowds :3 that ÚwÚ shakes ;;w;; me OwO thus. OwO Pish! 
Noses, ;;w;; eaws, ÚwÚ and x3 wips. ^-^ Is't possible? ;;w;; Confess? ÚwÚ Handkewchief? x3 O 
devil! 
Fawws uWu in :3 a trance. 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ Wowk ;;w;; on, 
OwO My ^-^ medicinye, >_< wowk! ^-^ Thus credulous foows OwO awe ;;w;; caught, 
xDD And UwU many ÚwÚ wowthy ÚwÚ and >w< chaste ÚwÚ dames even thus, 
All guiwtwess, :3 meet uWu wepwoach. What, ho! OwO My ^.^ wowd! 
OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ;;w;; say! UwU Othewwo! 

Entew :33 Cassio. 

How now, x3 Cassio! 
>_< CASSIO. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
^-^ IAGO. OwO My ;;w;; wowd >_> is fall'n x3 into >w< an epiwepsy. 
This >_> is :33 his second :33 fit; ^.^ he xDD had one yesterday. 
>_< CASSIO. >_< Wub ^.^ him about x3 the temples. 
^-^ IAGO. :3 Nyo, >_< fowbeaw; 
uWu The x3 wethawgy ^w^ must uWu have :33 his :33 quiet course. 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, ^.^ he ÚwÚ foams uWu at uWu mouth, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by 
>w< Bweaks x3 out to x3 savage >w< madnyess. x3 Wook, ^.^ he UwU stiws. 
Do xDD you >_< withdwaw >_> youwsewf :3 a xDD wittwe while, 
>w< He xDD wiww OwO wecuvw stwaight. x3 When ^.^ he >_> is >w< gonye, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd on great ;;w;; occasion speak with OwO you. uWu Exit :33 Cassio. 
How >_> is :33 it, x3 genyewaw? :3 Have xDD you nyot ÚwÚ huwt x3 youw head? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Dost xDD thou ÚwÚ mock me? 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I ÚwÚ mock you? :3 Nyo, ^.^ by UwU heaven. 
Wouwd xDD you ^.^ wouwd UwU beaw x3 youw :3 fowtunye ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; man! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ A ^.^ hownyed :33 man's :3 a monstew ÚwÚ and :3 a beast. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> Thewe's UwU many :3 a beast xDD then uWu in :3 a uWu popuwous city, 
xDD And UwU many :3 a ÚwÚ civiw ^.^ monstew. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Did ^.^ he x3 confess :33 it? 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ Good ^w^ siw, be :3 a xDD man; 
^w^ Think every ÚwÚ beawded fewwow ^w^ that's >_> but :33 yoked 
^-^ May dwaw with OwO you. >_> Thewe's millions nyow ^.^ awive 
:33 That xDD nyightwy >_< wie uWu in UwU those unproper beds 
>_< Which ;;w;; they dawe >_< sweaw xDD pecuwiaw. uWu Youw case >_> is ^-^ bettew. 
>_< O, UwU 'tis x3 the x3 spite of >_> heww, x3 the fiend's UwU awch-mock, 
;;w;; To >_< wip :3 a >_< wanton uWu in :3 a ^.^ secuwe couch, 
xDD And to ^.^ suppose her >_> chaste! :3 Nyo, wet ;;w;; me knyow, 
xDD And x3 knyowing >_> what UwU I am, UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> what ^.^ she UwU shaww >w< be. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< O, xDD thou awt OwO wise; UwU 'tis cewtain. 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; Stand xDD you ^-^ awhiwe >_< apawt, 
uWu Confinye >_> youwsewf >_> but uWu in :3 a patient list. 
Whilst xDD you :3 wewe OwO hewe xDD o'ewwhewmed with x3 youw :33 gwief- 
^-^ A passion UwU most uWu unsuiting xDD such :3 a >_> man- 
OwO Cassio ^-^ came hithew. UwU I >w< shifted ^.^ him away, 
xDD And laid ÚwÚ good OwO 'scuse ;;w;; upon x3 youw x3 ecstasy; 
^-^ Bade ^.^ him :3 anyon ^-^ wetuwn ÚwÚ and OwO hewe speak with ;;w;; me 
uWu The which ^.^ he :3 pwomised. Do >_> but encave >_> youwsewf 
xDD And mark x3 the fleers, x3 the ;;w;; gibes, ÚwÚ and OwO nyotabwe scowns, 
:33 That dwell uWu in every wegion of :33 his face; 
For UwU I xDD wiww >_< make ^.^ him tell x3 the xDD tawe anew, 
UwU Whewe, how, >w< how :3 oft, >w< how ^-^ wong >_> ago, ÚwÚ and when 
>w< He hath ÚwÚ and >_> is again to cope x3 youw x3 wife. 
UwU I say, >_> but mark :33 his gestuwe. OwO Mawwy, patience, 
:33 Ow UwU I UwU shaww >_> say xDD you OwO awe aww uWu in aww uWu in >w< spween, 
xDD And >_< nyothing of :3 a man. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Dost xDD thou heaw, ^-^ Iago? 
UwU I xDD wiww be >_> found UwU most x3 cunnying uWu in x3 my >_> patience; 
OwO But ;;w;; (dost xDD thou ^.^ heaw?) UwU most ^-^ bwoody. 
^-^ IAGO. >w< That's nyot >_< amiss; 
OwO But yet >_< keep time uWu in all. Will xDD you withdraw? 
Othewwo ^-^ wetiwes. 
Now xDD wiww UwU I ;;w;; question OwO Cassio of ^-^ Bianca, 
^-^ A :3 housewife :3 that ^.^ by ^-^ sewwing her desiwes 
xDD Buys herself ^.^ bwead ÚwÚ and >_< cwothes. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a creature 
:33 That x3 dotes on ^-^ Cassio, >_< as UwU 'tis x3 the uWu stwumpet's pwague 
;;w;; To beguile UwU many ÚwÚ and be beguiwed ^.^ by onye. 
^-^ He, when ^.^ he x3 heaws of hew, ;;w;; cannyot wefwain 
Fwom x3 the ^.^ excess of uWu waughtew. :3 Hewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 

^.^ We-entew :33 Cassio. 

;;w;; As ^.^ he UwU shaww :33 smiwe, Othewwo UwU shaww OwO go >w< mad; 
xDD And :33 his ^w^ unbookish ^.^ jeawousy ^w^ must construe 
OwO Poow uWu Cassio's >_> smiwes, UwU gestuwes, ÚwÚ and >w< wight x3 behaviow 
>_< Quite uWu in x3 the wrong. How UwU do xDD you now, wieutenyant? 
>_< CASSIO. uWu The >_> wowsew :3 that xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me x3 the >w< addition 
>_< Whose ^.^ want even :33 kiwws x3 me. 
^-^ IAGO. uWu Pwy Desdemona weww, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe >_< suwe ^.^ on't. 
>_> Nyow, >_> if ÚwÚ this >_> suit uWu way uWu in xDD Bianco's x3 powew, 
How quickly >_> shouwd xDD you uWu speed! 
>_< CASSIO. ÚwÚ Awas, poor caitiff! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 Wook, >w< how ^.^ he ^-^ waughs awweady! 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I >_< nyevew UwU knyew :3 a OwO woman wuv x3 man :3 so. 
>_< CASSIO. ÚwÚ Awas, poor UwU wogue! UwU I >_< think, ^w^ i'faith, ^.^ she loves x3 me. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Now ^.^ he denyies >w< it ^w^ faintwy ÚwÚ and ^-^ waughs >w< it OwO out. 
^-^ IAGO. Do xDD you heaw, ^w^ Cassio? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Now ^.^ he importunes ^.^ him 
;;w;; To tell >w< it >_< o'ew. Go >w< to; weww said, weww UwU said. 
^-^ IAGO. :33 She ;;w;; gives >w< it x3 out :3 that xDD you UwU shaww marry her. 
Do xDD you intend :33 it? 
>_< CASSIO. >w< Ha, ha, :33 ha! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Do xDD you :3 twiumph, uWu Woman? Do xDD you >w< twiumph? 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I marry >_> hew! What? ^-^ A customer! UwU I ^.^ pwithee, UwU beaw x3 some xDD chawity 
to x3 my >_> wit; UwU do nyot think >w< it UwU so unwhowesome. >w< Ha, ha, :33 ha! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. So, >_> so, >_> so, :3 so. ^-^ They laugh :3 that :33 win. 
^-^ IAGO. Faith, x3 the cwy xDD goes :3 that xDD you UwU shaww marry her. 
>_< CASSIO. Prithee, >_> say true. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a xDD vewy viwwain ewse. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Have xDD you scored me? ^-^ Weww. 
>_< CASSIO. This >_> is x3 the UwU monkey's UwU own ^.^ giving OwO out. :33 She >_> is >w< pewsuaded UwU I 
xDD wiww marry hew, x3 out of her UwU own wuv ÚwÚ and flattery, nyot x3 out of x3 my 
pwomise. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. OwO Iago ^-^ beckons OwO me; nyow ^.^ he ÚwÚ begins x3 the ;;w;; stowy. 
>_< CASSIO. :33 She UwU was OwO hewe even >_< nyow; ^.^ she haunts ;;w;; me uWu in every ;;w;; pwace. UwU I UwU was 
x3 the othew day :33 tawking on x3 the sea ^.^ bank with xDD cewtain >_< Venyetians, ÚwÚ and 
uWu thithew x3 comes x3 the :33 baubwe, x3 and, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu hand, ^.^ she ^w^ fawws ;;w;; me OwO thus 
about x3 my uWu nyeck- 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. xDD Cwying, "O uWu deaw uWu Cassio!" >_< as >w< it were; :33 his uWu gestuwe imports 
:3 it. 
>_< CASSIO. ^w^ So uWu hangs ÚwÚ and wowws ÚwÚ and ^.^ weeps ;;w;; upon OwO me; UwU so hawes ÚwÚ and ^w^ puwws 
x3 me. >w< Ha, ha, :33 ha! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Now ^.^ he uWu tewws >w< how ^.^ she ^w^ pwucked ^.^ him to x3 my ^.^ chambew. >_< O, UwU I >_> see 
:3 that x3 nyose of >_< youws, >_> but nyot :3 that dog UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ thwow >w< it ;;w;; to. 
>_< CASSIO. xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ must OwO weave her UwU company. 
^-^ IAGO. ^.^ Befowe me! wook :3 whewe ^.^ she ^w^ comes. 
>_< CASSIO. 'Tis xDD such anyothew ^.^ fitchew! marry, :3 a perfumed onye. 

Entew ÚwÚ Bianca. 

>_> What UwU do xDD you >_> mean ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >_> haunting of me? 
xDD BIANCA. Let x3 the ^.^ deviw ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 dam >_> haunt you! >_> What uWu did xDD you >_> mean ^.^ by 
:3 that same handkerchief xDD you uWu gave ;;w;; me even ^.^ nyow? UwU I UwU was :3 a OwO finye >w< foow to 
OwO take :3 it. UwU I ^w^ must OwO take x3 out x3 the wowk? ^-^ A ÚwÚ wikewy ^.^ piece of ^.^ wowk :3 that 
xDD you >_> shouwd find >w< it uWu in x3 youw x3 chambew ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ knyow who left >w< it 
thewe! This >_> is x3 some minx's token, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must OwO take x3 out x3 the wowk? 
There, UwU give >w< it x3 youw ^.^ hobbyhowse. UwU Whewesoevew xDD you xDD had :33 it, I'll OwO take 
x3 out nyo ^.^ wowk ^.^ on't. 
>_< CASSIO. How now, x3 my x3 sweet >_< Bianca! >w< how >_< nyow! >w< how >_< nyow! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, :3 that >_> shouwd be x3 my x3 handkewchief! 
xDD BIANCA. ^-^ An you'ww come to OwO suppew tonyight, xDD you ;;w;; may; >w< an xDD you xDD wiww >_> nyot, 
come when xDD you OwO awe :3 nyext ^w^ pwepawed ;;w;; fow. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^-^ IAGO. >w< Aftew hew, ÚwÚ aftew her. 
>_< CASSIO. Faith, UwU I :3 must; ^.^ she'ww waiw :33 i' x3 the :3 stweet ewse. 
^-^ IAGO. Will xDD you UwU sup OwO thewe? 
>_< CASSIO. Faith, UwU I intend :3 so. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD Weww, UwU I OwO may chance to >_> see UwU you, fow UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD vewy >_> fain speak 
with OwO you. 
>_< CASSIO. Prithee, >_< come; xDD wiww you? 
^-^ IAGO. Go >w< to; >_> say nyo more. uWu Exit :33 Cassio. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. [Advancing.] How UwU shaww UwU I muwthew :3 him, ^-^ Iago? 
^-^ IAGO. Did xDD you >_> pewceive >w< how ^.^ he laughed uWu at :33 his x3 vice? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 O >_> Iago! 
^-^ IAGO. xDD And uWu did xDD you >_> see x3 the >w< handkewchief? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Was :3 that mine? 
^-^ IAGO. OwO Youws, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >w< hand. xDD And to >_> see >w< how ^.^ he >_< pwizes x3 the >_< foowish 
OwO woman x3 youw wife! :33 She uWu gave >w< it :3 him, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he hath UwU given >w< it :33 his ^-^ whowe. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ him >w< nyinye years akiwwing. ^-^ A OwO finye OwO woman! :3 a >w< faiw 
OwO woman! :3 a x3 sweet OwO woman! 
^-^ IAGO. Nyay, xDD you ^w^ must x3 fowget x3 that. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Ay, wet her UwU wot, ÚwÚ and xDD pewish, ÚwÚ and be uWu damnyed tonyight, fow 
^.^ she UwU shaww nyot wive. :3 Nyo, x3 my >_< heawt >_> is turned to stonye; UwU I strike :33 it, 
ÚwÚ and >w< it OwO huwts x3 my >w< hand. >_< O, x3 the wowwd hath nyot :3 a ^w^ sweetew xDD cweatuwe. 
:33 She ^w^ might >_< wie ^.^ by >w< an emperor's side, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ command ^.^ him :33 tasks. 
^-^ IAGO. Nyay, ^w^ that's nyot x3 youw >_> way. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Hang >_> hew! UwU I UwU do >_> but >_> say >_> what ^.^ she >w< is. ^w^ So xDD dewicate with her 
nyeedwe, >w< an uWu admiwabwe x3 musician. >_< O, ^.^ she xDD wiww ^.^ sing x3 the >_< savagenyess 
x3 out of :3 a bear. Of UwU so xDD high ÚwÚ and ^w^ pwenteous wit ÚwÚ and >_< invention- 
^-^ IAGO. >_> She's x3 the xDD wowse fow aww UwU this. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< O, :3 a ;;w;; thousand, :3 a thousand times. xDD And >w< then, of UwU so ^-^ gentwe :3 a 
uWu condition! 
^-^ IAGO. Ay, ^w^ too uWu gentwe. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Nyay, ^w^ that's cewtain. OwO But yet x3 the pity of :33 it, >_> Iago! 
x3 O >w< Iago, x3 the pity of :33 it, >_> Iago! 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; If xDD you OwO awe UwU so fond uvw her iniquity, UwU give her OwO patent to 
xDD offend, for, >_> if >w< it :33 touch nyot UwU you, >w< it x3 comes nyeaw nyobody. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I xDD wiww chop her x3 into messes. >_> Cuckowd me! 
^-^ IAGO. >_< O, UwU 'tis fouw uWu in her. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. With >_< minye officew! 
^-^ IAGO. >w< That's ^w^ fouwew. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< Get ;;w;; me x3 some uWu poison, >w< Iago, ÚwÚ this OwO nyight. I'll nyot OwO expostuwate 
with hew, xDD west her >w< body ÚwÚ and beauty unprovide x3 my ^-^ mind ;;w;; again. This 
night, >w< Iago. 
^-^ IAGO. Do >w< it nyot with uWu poison, strangle her uWu in her ^.^ bed, even x3 the x3 bed 
^.^ she hath OwO contaminyated. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. OwO Good, UwU good, x3 the justice of >w< it UwU pweases, xDD vewy UwU good. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD And fow ^-^ Cassio, wet ;;w;; me be :33 his undewtakew. >_> You UwU shaww hear ^.^ mowe 
^.^ by midnight. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Excewwent UwU good. :3 [A ÚwÚ twumpet :33 within.] >_> What ÚwÚ twumpet >_> is :3 that 
>w< same? 
^-^ IAGO. xDD Something from >_> Venyice, >_> suwe. 'Tis >_< Wodovico 
:3 Come from x3 the uWu Duke. ^.^ And, >_> see x3 youw >w< wife >_> is with ^.^ him. 

Entew :33 Wodovico, >w< Desdemonya, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

WODOVICO. ^w^ God :3 save x3 the ÚwÚ wowthy general! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. With aww x3 my uWu heawt, sir. 
WODOVICO. uWu The >w< Duke ÚwÚ and Senators of :33 Venyice x3 gweet OwO you. 
>w< Gives ^.^ him :3 a >_> wettew. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I :3 kiss x3 the UwU instwument of uWu theiw xDD pweasuwes. 
:33 Opens x3 the letter, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ weads. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. xDD And UwU what's x3 the news, ÚwÚ good xDD cousin Wodovico? 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy uWu gwad to >_> see UwU you, ^.^ signyiow; 
Welcome to :3 Cypwus. 
WODOVICO. UwU I >_> thank OwO you. How does Wieutenyant ^w^ Cassio? 
^-^ IAGO. Wives, sir. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Cousin, there's fall'n ^-^ between ^.^ him ÚwÚ and x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
^-^ An :3 unkind :3 bweech; >_> but xDD you UwU shaww >_< make aww well. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^w^ Awe xDD you >_< suwe of ^-^ that? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO My xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. [Reads.] ;;w;; "This fail xDD you nyot to UwU do, >_< as xDD you :33 wiww-" 
WODOVICO. >w< He uWu did nyot call; uWu he's >w< busy uWu in x3 the ^.^ papew. 
Is there OwO division 'twixt x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and ^w^ Cassio? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^-^ A UwU most xDD unhappy onye. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU do much 
;;w;; To OwO atonye ÚwÚ them, fow x3 the wuv UwU I UwU beaw to :33 Cassio. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. xDD Fiwe ÚwÚ and bwimstonye! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO My xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^w^ Awe xDD you :33 wise? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. What, >_> is ^.^ he ^.^ angwy? 
WODOVICO. ^-^ May be x3 the >_> wettew ^-^ muvd him; 
For, >_< as UwU I >_< think, ;;w;; they UwU do ÚwÚ command ^.^ him ^.^ home, 
^-^ Deputing OwO Cassio uWu in :33 his >_< guvwnment. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad ^.^ on't. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ;;w;; Indeed! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO My xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see xDD you >_> mad. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Why, x3 sweet ^-^ Othewwo? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^.^ Deviw! Strikes her. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I uWu have nyot deserved UwU this. 
WODOVICO. OwO My uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this ^.^ wouwd nyot be :33 bewieved uWu in >_> Venyice, 
;;w;; Though UwU I >_> shouwd >_< sweaw UwU I ^w^ saw't. 'Tis xDD vewy :33 much. 
^-^ Make her amends; ^.^ she ^-^ weeps. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 O deviw, devil! 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 the ^.^ eawth couwd ;;w;; teem with xDD woman's ^-^ teaws, 
x3 Each >_< dwop ^.^ she ^w^ fawws ^.^ wouwd ^-^ pwuv :3 a >w< cwocodiwe. 
UwU Out of x3 my ;;w;; sight! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. [Going.] UwU I xDD wiww nyot xDD stay to ^-^ offend OwO you. 
WODOVICO. ^-^ Twuwy, >w< an obedient >_> wady. 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw lordship, caww her back. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ Mistwess! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO My xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you with hew, UwU siw? 
WODOVICO. UwU Who, I, x3 my xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Ay, xDD you uWu did ÚwÚ wish :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< make her x3 tuwn. 
UwU Siw, ^.^ she ^.^ can turn ÚwÚ and tuwn, ÚwÚ and yet OwO go ;;w;; on, 
xDD And turn again; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ^.^ can >_> weep, ^w^ siw, ^.^ weep; 
xDD And ^w^ she's obedient, >_< as xDD you say, obedient, 
Very xDD obedient. ÚwÚ Pwoceed xDD you uWu in x3 youw >w< teaws. 
^w^ Concewnying uWu this, >_< siw- x3 O :33 weww-painted xDD passion!- 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 commanded >_> home. >_< Get xDD you :3 away; 
I'll >_> send fow xDD you x3 anyon. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU obey x3 the :3 mandate, 
xDD And xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn to >_< Venyice. Hence, avaunt! 
uWu Exit Desdemonya. 
OwO Cassio UwU shaww uWu have x3 my ;;w;; pwace. ^.^ And, ^w^ siw, tonyight, 
UwU I UwU do entweat :3 that ^.^ we OwO may UwU sup together. 
>_> You OwO awe ;;w;; wewcome, ^w^ siw, to :3 Cypwus. ;;w;; Goats ÚwÚ and >w< monkeys! 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
WODOVICO. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the x3 nyobwe Moor ÚwÚ whom UwU ouw full :33 Senyate 
;;w;; Caww aww uWu in aww :33 sufficient? This x3 the ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
;;w;; Whom passion couwd nyot OwO shake? x3 whose ;;w;; sowid viwtue 
uWu The UwU shot of :33 accident nor ^.^ dawt of chance 
Could :3 nyeithew uWu gwaze nor ^.^ piewce? 
^-^ IAGO. >w< He >_> is much uWu changed. 
WODOVICO. ^w^ Awe :33 his :33 wits :3 safe? Is ^.^ he nyot >w< wight of bwain? 
^-^ IAGO. He's :3 that ^.^ he >w< is. UwU I OwO may nyot ;;w;; bweathe x3 my UwU censuwe 
>_> What ^.^ he ^w^ might x3 be: >_> if >_> what ^.^ he ^w^ might ^.^ he >_> is >_> nyot, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd to heaven ^.^ he were! 
WODOVICO. What, strike :33 his wife! 
^-^ IAGO. Faith, :3 that UwU was nyot UwU so well; yet ^.^ wouwd UwU I UwU knyew 
:33 That ^w^ stwoke ^.^ wouwd ^-^ pwuv x3 the x3 wowst! 
WODOVICO. Is >w< it :33 his >_< use? 
:33 Ow uWu did x3 the x3 wettews ^.^ wowk ;;w;; upon :33 his bwood, 
xDD And x3 nyew >w< cweate ÚwÚ this xDD fauwt? 
^-^ IAGO. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ awas! 
^.^ It >_> is nyot honesty uWu in ;;w;; me to speak 
>_> What UwU I uWu have :3 seen ÚwÚ and knyown. >_> You UwU shaww uWu obsewve :3 him, 
xDD And :33 his UwU own ;;w;; couwses xDD wiww :3 denyote ^.^ him UwU so 
:33 That UwU I OwO may :3 save x3 my :33 speech. Do >_> but OwO go after, 
xDD And mark >w< how ^.^ he x3 continyues. 
WODOVICO. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy :3 that UwU I ^w^ am deceived uWu in ^.^ him. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A >_> woom uWu in x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew Othewwo ÚwÚ and Emilia. 

ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> You uWu have :3 seen uWu nyothing, ^w^ then? 
EMILIA. x3 Nyow OwO evew ^-^ heawd, nor OwO evew uWu did OwO suspect. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Yes, xDD you uWu have :3 seen OwO Cassio ÚwÚ and ^.^ she together. 
EMILIA. OwO But xDD then UwU I saw nyo >w< hawm, ÚwÚ and xDD then UwU I heard 
x3 Each syllable :3 that UwU bweath UwU made x3 up ^-^ between OwO them. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. What, uWu did ;;w;; they >_< nyevew :3 whispew? 
EMILIA. Nyevew, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 Nyow >_> send xDD you x3 out ^.^ o' x3 the >w< way? 
EMILIA. UwU Nyevew. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ;;w;; To :3 fetch her ;;w;; fan, her gloves, her OwO mask, nor nyothing? 
EMILIA. Nyevew, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >w< That's x3 stwange. 
EMILIA. UwU I ^w^ duwst, x3 my uWu wowd, to wagew ^.^ she >_> is OwO honyest, 
Way down x3 my :3 souw uWu at >_< stake. ;;w;; If xDD you think ÚwÚ othew, 
:33 Wemuv x3 youw thought; >w< it xDD doth abuse x3 youw ÚwÚ bosom. 
;;w;; If xDD any uWu wwetch uWu have put ÚwÚ this uWu in x3 youw head, 
Let heaven :3 wequite >w< it with x3 the serpent's ^.^ cuwse! 
For >_> if ^.^ she be nyot OwO honyest, chaste, ÚwÚ and ^-^ twue, 
>_> Thewe's nyo x3 man happy; x3 the puwest of uWu theiw ;;w;; wives 
Is fouw >_< as uWu swandew. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 Bid her come hithew; ÚwÚ go. uWu Exit Emilia. 
:33 She ;;w;; says >_< enyough; yet ^w^ she's :3 a :33 simpwe ;;w;; bawd 
:33 That ;;w;; cannyot >_> say >_< as :33 much. This >_> is :3 a >_> subtwe ^-^ whowe, 
^-^ A cwoset OwO wock ÚwÚ and OwO key of ÚwÚ viwwainyous secrets. 
xDD And yet ^.^ she'ww ^w^ knyeew ÚwÚ and ^w^ pway; UwU I uWu have :3 seen her >_< do't. 

Entew Desdemona with Emilia. 

x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO My uWu wowd, >_> what >_> is x3 youw xDD wiww? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ÚwÚ Pway, UwU chuck, come hithew. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_> What >_> is x3 youw pweasuwe? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Let ;;w;; me >_> see x3 youw eyes; 
Wook uWu in x3 my ;;w;; face. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_> What howwibwe ÚwÚ fancy's :3 this? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :33 [To Emiwia.] ;;w;; Some of x3 youw UwU function, ^-^ mistwess, 
Weave procreants awonye ÚwÚ and shut x3 the door; 
Cough, ow cwy "hem," >_> if anybody x3 come. 
uWu Youw mystewy, x3 youw mystewy; x3 nyay, dispatch. uWu Exit Emilia. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_> Upon x3 my uWu knyees, >_> what xDD doth x3 youw ÚwÚ speech impowt? 
UwU I understand :3 a UwU fuwy uWu in x3 youw wowds, 
OwO But nyot x3 the ÚwÚ wowds. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Why, >_> what awt thou? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. uWu Youw :3 wife, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 youw true ÚwÚ and loyal x3 wife. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^.^ Come, >_< sweaw :33 it, damn xDD thysewf; 
Lest, ^.^ being ^.^ wike one of ^.^ heaven, x3 the xDD deviws x3 themsewves 
Should feaw to x3 seize thee. Therefore be doubwe-damn'd; 
Swear xDD thou awt honest. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. uWu Heaven xDD doth :33 twuwy ^.^ knyow :3 it. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Heaven :33 twuwy xDD knyows :3 that xDD thou awt UwU fawse >_< as uWu heww. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ;;w;; To :33 whom, x3 my xDD wowd? with >w< whom? >w< how ^w^ am UwU I false? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 O Desdemona! >_> Away! away! away! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Awas x3 the x3 heavy ^.^ day! Why UwU do xDD you ^w^ weep? 
^w^ Am UwU I x3 the motive of these ^-^ teaws, x3 my xDD wowd? 
;;w;; If haply xDD you x3 my >w< fathew UwU do >_> suspect 
^-^ An UwU instwument of ÚwÚ this x3 youw x3 cawwing back, 
Way nyot x3 youw uWu bwame on x3 me. ;;w;; If xDD you uWu have wost :3 him, 
Why, UwU I uWu have wost ^.^ him UwU too. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. xDD Had >w< it ^w^ pweased heaven 
;;w;; To >_> twy ;;w;; me with ^-^ affwiction, xDD had ;;w;; they ^w^ wain'd 
All >_> kinds of x3 sowes ÚwÚ and UwU shames on x3 my OwO bawe head, 
ÚwÚ Steep'd ;;w;; me uWu in uWu puvwty to x3 the xDD vewy :3 wips, 
Given to :33 captivity ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 my utmost hopes, 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have >_> found uWu in x3 some :33 pwace of x3 my :3 souw 
^-^ A >_< dwop of >_> patience; but, :3 awas, to >_< make ;;w;; me 
^-^ A xDD fixed xDD figuwe fow x3 the time of ^w^ scown 
;;w;; To :33 point :33 his slow xDD unmoving finger >_> at! 
ÚwÚ Yet couwd UwU I UwU beaw :3 that :3 too, weww, xDD vewy well; 
OwO But thewe, :3 whewe UwU I uWu have ^-^ gawnyew'd x3 up x3 my uWu heawt, 
Whewe xDD eithew UwU I ^w^ must ^w^ wive ow UwU beaw nyo :33 wife; 
uWu The ^w^ fountain from x3 the which x3 my :3 cuwwent ^.^ wuns, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ^.^ dwies xDD up; to be ^.^ discawded >_< thence! 
:33 Ow >_< keep >w< it >_< as :3 a ;;w;; cistewn fow fouw toads 
;;w;; To >_< knyot ÚwÚ and >_> gendew :3 in! Tuwn >w< thy >_< compwexion thewe, 
>w< Patience, xDD thou xDD young ÚwÚ and rose-lipp'd UwU chewubin, 
Ay, thewe, wook gwim >_< as >_< heww! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I UwU hope x3 my x3 nyobwe ;;w;; wowd :33 esteems ;;w;; me honest. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< O, :33 ay, >_< as ^-^ summew fwies OwO awe uWu in x3 the xDD shambwes, 
:33 That ^w^ quicken even with ^-^ bwowing. x3 O xDD thou OwO weed, 
Who awt UwU so lovely >w< faiw ÚwÚ and smell'st UwU so x3 sweet 
:33 That x3 the sense OwO aches uWu at ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ wouwd xDD thou >w< hadst ^w^ nye'ew :33 been uWu bown! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ÚwÚ Awas, >_> what ÚwÚ ignyowant x3 sin uWu have UwU I ^.^ committed? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Was ÚwÚ this >w< faiw paper, ÚwÚ this UwU most xDD goodwy ^-^ book, 
Made to >w< wwite "whore" >_> upon? >_> What ^.^ committed? 
Committed? x3 O xDD thou public ^w^ commonyew! 
UwU I >_> shouwd >_< make xDD vewy OwO fowges of x3 my cheeks, 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd to cinders buwn x3 up OwO modesty, 
Did UwU I >_> but speak >w< thy >_> deeds. >_> What OwO committed! 
uWu Heaven xDD stops x3 the x3 nyose uWu at :33 it, ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; moon ;;w;; winks; 
uWu The ^w^ bawdy ;;w;; wind, :3 that ^-^ kisses aww >w< it meets, 
Is UwU hush'd within x3 the OwO howwow >_< minye of earth, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot hear :3 it. >_> What ^.^ committed? 
:33 Impudent stwumpet! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me wrong. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^w^ Awe nyot xDD you :3 a >w< stwumpet? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :3 Nyo, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a >_> Chwistian. 
;;w;; If to pwesewve ÚwÚ this vessel fow x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
Fwom xDD any othew fouw unwawfuw :33 touch 
^w^ Be nyot to be :3 a ^w^ stwumpet, UwU I ^w^ am none. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. What, nyot :3 a ÚwÚ whowe? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :3 Nyo, >_< as UwU I UwU shaww be saved. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ Is't possible? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_< O, heaven :33 fowgive ÚwÚ us! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I cwy xDD you xDD mewcy :33 then; 
UwU I >_> took xDD you fow :3 that x3 cunnying whore of :33 Venyice 
:33 That mawwied with OwO Othewwo. [Waises :33 his :33 voice.] >_< You, ^-^ mistwess, 
:33 That uWu have x3 the ^.^ office opposite to Saint Petew, 
xDD And >_< keep x3 the uWu gate of >_< heww! 

^.^ We-entew Emilia. 

>_< You, UwU you, :33 ay, you! 
We uWu have donye UwU ouw UwU couwse; there's monyey fow x3 youw OwO pains. 
UwU I pray UwU you, turn x3 the >_> key, ÚwÚ and >_< keep UwU ouw :3 counsew. ÚwÚ Exit. 
EMILIA. ÚwÚ Awas, >_> what does ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman conceive? 
How UwU do UwU you, :33 madam? How UwU do UwU you, x3 my ÚwÚ good x3 wady? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Faith, half asleep. 
EMILIA. ^-^ Good UwU madam, UwU what's x3 the ;;w;; mattew with x3 my xDD wowd? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. With >_> who? 
EMILIA. Why, with x3 my uWu wowd, UwU madam. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Who >_> is >w< thy xDD wowd? 
EMILIA. >w< He :3 that >_> is >_< youws, x3 sweet >_> wady. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I uWu have none. Do nyot tawk to uWu me, Emilia; 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> weep, nor answew uWu have UwU I >_< nyonye 
OwO But >_> what >_> shouwd OwO go ^.^ by >_> watew. Prithee, :3 tonyight 
Way on x3 my x3 bed x3 my ÚwÚ wedding ;;w;; sheets. OwO Wemembew, 
xDD And caww >w< thy :33 husband hithew. 
EMILIA. >_> Hewe's :3 a change ^w^ indeed! 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. 'Tis :3 meet UwU I >_> shouwd be used >_> so, xDD vewy ^.^ meet. 
How uWu have UwU I :33 been behaved, :3 that ^.^ he ^w^ might OwO stick 
uWu The smaww'st opinyion on x3 my least misuse? 

^.^ We-entew Emilia with >w< Iago. 

^-^ IAGO. >_> What >_> is x3 youw x3 pweasuwe, :33 madam? How :3 is't with you? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell. >w< Those :3 that UwU do >_< teach xDD young babes 
Do >w< it with ^-^ gentwe means ÚwÚ and ^w^ easy :33 tasks. 
>w< He ^w^ might uWu have ;;w;; chid ;;w;; me >_> so, fow uWu in ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a chiwd to >_< chiding. 
^-^ IAGO. x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, x3 wady? 
EMILIA. ÚwÚ Awas, >w< Iago, x3 my ;;w;; wowd hath UwU so bewhowed hew, 
Thrown xDD such ;;w;; despite ÚwÚ and x3 heavy terms ;;w;; upon hew, 
;;w;; As true heawts ;;w;; cannyot bear. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^w^ Am UwU I :3 that :33 nyame, ^-^ Iago? 
^-^ IAGO. >_> What :33 nyame, >w< faiw x3 wady? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >w< Such >_< as ^.^ she ;;w;; says x3 my ;;w;; wowd uWu did >_> say UwU I uWu was. 
EMILIA. >w< He ^w^ caww'd her uWu whowe; :3 a beggar uWu in :33 his ÚwÚ dwink 
Could nyot uWu have laid xDD such terms ;;w;; upon :33 his :33 cawwet. 
^-^ IAGO. Why uWu did ^.^ he so? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I UwU do nyot know; UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe UwU I ^w^ am >_< nyonye xDD such. 
^-^ IAGO. Do nyot >_> weep, UwU do nyot >_> weep. Awas x3 the ^.^ day! 
EMILIA. >_< Hath ^.^ she fowsook UwU so UwU many x3 nyobwe matches, 
:3 Hew >w< fathew ÚwÚ and her countwy ÚwÚ and her OwO fwiends, 
;;w;; To be ^w^ caww'd ÚwÚ whowe? Wouwd >w< it nyot >_< make one ^w^ weep? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my wwetched xDD fowtunye. 
^-^ IAGO. Beshrew ^.^ him for't! 
How x3 comes ÚwÚ this twick ;;w;; upon him? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Nyay, heaven xDD doth :33 knyow. 
EMILIA. UwU I xDD wiww be uWu hang'd, >_> if x3 some xDD etewnyaw villain, 
;;w;; Some >w< busy ÚwÚ and >_< insinyuating :33 wogue, 
;;w;; Some >_< cogging, cozening :33 swave, to get x3 some office, 
:3 Have nyot >w< devised ÚwÚ this >_> swandew; I'll be :33 hang'd ewse. 
^-^ IAGO. OwO Fie, there >_> is nyo xDD such xDD man; >w< it >_> is >_> impossibwe. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ;;w;; If xDD any xDD such there be, heaven UwU pawdon x3 him! 
EMILIA. ^-^ A hawtew UwU pawdon x3 him! xDD And heww gnaw :33 his ^.^ bonyes! 
Why >_> shouwd ^.^ he caww her ÚwÚ whowe? Who keeps her :3 company? 
>_> What :3 pwace? >_> What >w< time? >_> What UwU fowm? >_> What likelihood? 
uWu The Moor's :3 abused ^.^ by x3 some UwU most ÚwÚ viwwainyous ^-^ knyave, 
;;w;; Some UwU base :3 nyotowious ^-^ knyave, x3 some ^.^ scuwvy UwU fewwow. 
x3 O ^.^ heaven, :3 that xDD such companions thou'wdst ;;w;; unfowd, 
xDD And put uWu in every xDD honyest uWu hand :3 a whip 
;;w;; To lash x3 the ^-^ wascaws nyaked ^w^ thwough x3 the wowwd 
Even from x3 the uWu east to x3 the west! 
^-^ IAGO. ^w^ Speak within UwU doow. 
EMILIA. >_< O, fie ;;w;; upon >w< them! ;;w;; Some xDD such squire ^.^ he UwU was 
:33 That >_> tuwn'd x3 youw wit x3 the :3 seamy x3 side without, 
xDD And UwU made xDD you to >_> suspect ;;w;; me with x3 the Moow. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> You OwO awe :3 a foow; OwO go ;;w;; to. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. x3 O ÚwÚ good >w< Iago, 
>_> What UwU shaww UwU I UwU do to x3 win x3 my ;;w;; wowd ^w^ again? 
^-^ Good fwiend, OwO go to :3 him, fow ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >w< wight of ^.^ heaven, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how UwU I wost ^.^ him. :3 Hewe UwU I kneel: 
;;w;; If ;;w;; e'ew x3 my xDD wiww uWu did trespass uWu 'gainst :33 his wuv 
^-^ Eithew uWu in uWu discouwse of xDD thought ow >w< actuaw OwO deed, 
:33 Ow :3 that >_< minye ^w^ eyes, >_< minye ;;w;; eaws, ow xDD any sense, 
Dewighted them uWu in xDD any othew ÚwÚ fowm, 
:33 Ow :3 that UwU I UwU do nyot ^w^ yet, ÚwÚ and OwO evew ^-^ did, 
xDD And OwO evew :33 wiww, ^w^ though ^.^ he UwU do ;;w;; shake ;;w;; me x3 off 
;;w;; To beggarly divorcement, wuv ^.^ him ^-^ deawwy, 
Comfort >w< fowsweaw me! Unkindness OwO may UwU do ÚwÚ much, 
xDD And :33 his unkindnyess OwO may :3 defeat x3 my :3 wife, 
OwO But >_< nyevew ^w^ taint x3 my love. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> say "whowe." 
^.^ It xDD doth abhow ;;w;; me nyow UwU I speak x3 the wowd; 
;;w;; To UwU do x3 the ;;w;; act :3 that ^w^ might x3 the >w< addition eawn 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 the OwO wowwd's :3 mass of vanyity couwd >_< make x3 me. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I pray UwU you, be content; UwU 'tis >_> but :33 his ;;w;; humow: 
uWu The business of x3 the >w< state does ^.^ him :3 offense, 
xDD And ^.^ he does UwU chide with OwO you. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ;;w;; If >w< 'twewe nyo other- 
^-^ IAGO. 'Tis >_> but >_> so, UwU I ;;w;; wawwant. Twumpets x3 within. 
Hawk, >w< how these instwuments ^.^ summon to x3 suppew! 
uWu The xDD messengews of :33 Venyice xDD stay x3 the ^w^ meat. 
Go x3 in, ÚwÚ and xDD weep x3 nyot; aww ^.^ things UwU shaww be well. 
Exeunt Desdemona ÚwÚ and Emilia. 

Entew :3 Wodewigo. 

How now, ÚwÚ Wodewigo! 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I UwU do nyot find :3 that xDD thou deawest >_< justwy with x3 me. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> What uWu in x3 the uWu contwawy? 
>w< WODEWIGO. Evewy day xDD thou :33 daffest ;;w;; me with x3 some >_< device, >w< Iago; ÚwÚ and 
UwU wathew, >_< as >w< it ;;w;; seems to ;;w;; me now, x3 keepest from ;;w;; me aww UwU convenyiency 
than OwO suppwiest ;;w;; me with x3 the least ^w^ advantage of ^-^ hope. UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ indeed 
nyo longer OwO enduwe uWu it; nor ^w^ am UwU I yet >w< pewsuaded to put x3 up uWu in uWu peace 
>_> what xDD awweady UwU I uWu have ;;w;; foowishwy suffered. 
^-^ IAGO. Will xDD you hear uWu me, ^.^ Wodewigo? 
>w< WODEWIGO. Faith, UwU I uWu have heard ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, fow x3 youw wowds ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; pewfowmances OwO awe nyo ^-^ kin together. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> You :3 chawge ;;w;; me UwU most xDD unjustwy. 
>w< WODEWIGO. With >_< nyought >_> but truth. UwU I uWu have wasted mysewf x3 out of x3 my 
means. uWu The :3 jewews xDD you uWu have xDD had from ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ dewivew to Desdemona 
^.^ wouwd half uWu have cowwupted :3 a ^w^ votawist. >_> You uWu have told ;;w;; me ^.^ she hath 
uWu weceived them ÚwÚ and wetuwnyed ;;w;; me :3 expectations ÚwÚ and UwU comfowts of ^.^ sudden 
wespect ÚwÚ and x3 acquaintance; >_> but UwU I find none. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD Weww, OwO go ^.^ to, xDD vewy well. 
>w< WODEWIGO. Very OwO weww! OwO go ÚwÚ to! UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO go ^.^ to, xDD man; nor UwU 'tis nyot xDD vewy 
well. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu hand, UwU I >_> say UwU 'tis xDD vewy scuwvy, ÚwÚ and x3 begin to find 
mysewf uWu fopped uWu in :3 it. 
^-^ IAGO. Very well. 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I tell xDD you UwU 'tis nyot xDD vewy well. UwU I xDD wiww >_< make mysewf ÚwÚ knyown 
to Desdemonya. ;;w;; If ^.^ she xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn ;;w;; me x3 my jewews, UwU I xDD wiww UwU give uvw 
x3 my >_> suit ÚwÚ and wepent x3 my unwawfuw solicitation; >_> if >_> nyot, :33 assuwe 
>_> youwsewf UwU I xDD wiww >_> seek >_< satisfaction of OwO you. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> You uWu have uWu said now. 
>w< WODEWIGO. Ay, ÚwÚ and uWu said >_< nyothing >_> but >_> what UwU I ^w^ pwotest :33 intendment of 
doing. 
^-^ IAGO. Why, nyow UwU I >_> see there's mettle uWu in ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and even from ÚwÚ this 
x3 instant UwU do buiwd on uWu thee :3 a xDD bettew opinyion than OwO evew befowe. Give 
;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, :3 Wodewigo. ^.^ Thou x3 hast :33 taken OwO against ;;w;; me :3 a UwU most >w< just 
;;w;; exception; >_> but ^w^ yet, UwU I protest, uWu have ^w^ deawt UwU most xDD diwectwy uWu in >w< thy 
ÚwÚ affaiw. 
>w< WODEWIGO. ^.^ It hath nyot OwO appeawed. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I gwant ÚwÚ indeed >w< it hath nyot xDD appeawed, ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_> suspicion >_> is 
nyot ^-^ without wit ÚwÚ and OwO judgement. But, Roderigo, >_> if xDD thou x3 hast :3 that 
uWu in uWu thee :33 indeed, which UwU I uWu have :33 gweatew reason to ^-^ bewieve nyow than 
ever, UwU I >_> mean xDD puwpose, couwage, ÚwÚ and ^w^ vawow, ÚwÚ this >w< nyight x3 show uWu it; >_> if 
xDD thou x3 the :3 nyext >w< nyight fowwowing ^.^ enjoy nyot >w< Desdemonya, OwO take ;;w;; me from 
ÚwÚ this wowwd with tweachewy ÚwÚ and >w< devise ^-^ enginyes fow x3 my life. 
>w< WODEWIGO. xDD Weww, >_> what >_> is :33 it? Is >w< it within reason ÚwÚ and compass? 
^-^ IAGO. UwU Siw, there >_> is ^-^ especiaw OwO commission come from :33 Venyice to ^.^ depute 
OwO Cassio uWu in Othello's ;;w;; pwace. 
>w< WODEWIGO. Is :3 that twue? Why xDD then Othewwo ÚwÚ and Desdemona ^-^ wetuwn again 
to >_< Venyice. 
^-^ IAGO. >_< O, ^.^ nyo; ^.^ he xDD goes x3 into :33 Mauwitanyia, ÚwÚ and UwU takes OwO away with ^.^ him x3 the 
>w< faiw >w< Desdemonya, ^w^ unwess :33 his >_< abode be wingewed OwO hewe ^.^ by x3 some 
accident; wherein >_< nyonye ^.^ can be UwU so :33 detewminyate >_< as x3 the removing of 
:33 Cassio. 
>w< WODEWIGO. How UwU do xDD you mean, removing of him? 
^-^ IAGO. Why, ^.^ by x3 making ^.^ him ^.^ uncapabwe of Othello's pwace; knocking x3 out 
:33 his ^w^ bwains. 
>w< WODEWIGO. xDD And :3 that xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; me to ^-^ do? 
^-^ IAGO. Ay, >_> if xDD you dawe UwU do >_> youwsewf :3 a pwofit ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ wight. >w< He UwU sups 
:3 tonyight with :3 a >w< hawwotwy, ÚwÚ and uWu thithew xDD wiww UwU I OwO go to ^.^ him. >w< He xDD knyows 
nyot yet of :33 his ;;w;; honyowabwe xDD fowtunye. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww ;;w;; watch :33 his x3 going 
thence, which :33 his xDD wiww fashion to faww x3 out ^-^ between >_< twewve ÚwÚ and 
one, xDD you OwO may OwO take ^.^ him uWu at x3 youw pweasuwe; UwU I xDD wiww be nyeaw to second 
x3 youw attempt, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww faww ^-^ between >_> us. ^.^ Come, stand nyot 
x3 amazed uWu at :33 it, >_> but OwO go :3 awong with OwO me; UwU I xDD wiww x3 show xDD you xDD such :3 a 
;;w;; nyecessity uWu in :33 his :33 death :3 that xDD you UwU shaww think >_> youwsewf bound to put 
>w< it on ^.^ him. ^.^ It >_> is nyow xDD high :33 suppew-time, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< nyight gwows to 
:33 waste. About :3 it. 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I xDD wiww hear further reason fow UwU this. 
^-^ IAGO. xDD And xDD you UwU shaww be xDD satisfied. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew >_> woom uWu in x3 the >w< castwe. 

Entew :33 Othewwo, :33 Wodovico, >w< Desdemonya, uWu Emiwia, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 

WODOVICO. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, >_> twoubwe >_> youwsewf nyo fuwthew. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< O, UwU pawdon OwO me; 'twill UwU do ;;w;; me ÚwÚ good to ^.^ wawk. 
WODOVICO. uWu Madam, ÚwÚ good ^w^ nyight; UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank x3 youw ladyship. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. uWu Youw honyow >_> is UwU most x3 wewcome. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Will xDD you walk, UwU siw? 
>w< O- uWu Desdemonya- 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO My xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_< Get xDD you to x3 bed on x3 the xDD instant; UwU I xDD wiww be wetuwnyed 
>w< fowthwith. >_< Dismiss x3 youw x3 attendant uWu thewe; wook >w< it be ^-^ donye. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Exeunt :33 Othewwo, :33 Wodovico, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants. 
EMILIA. How xDD goes >w< it ^.^ nyow? >w< He :33 wooks gentler than ^.^ he ^.^ did. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >w< He ;;w;; says ^.^ he xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn UwU incontinyent. 
>w< He hath :3 commanded ;;w;; me to OwO go to ^.^ bed, 
xDD And ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me to dismiss OwO you. 
EMILIA. >_< Dismiss me? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^.^ It UwU was :33 his >w< bidding; OwO thewefowe, ÚwÚ good uWu Emiwia, 
Give ;;w;; me x3 my xDD nyightwy :33 weawing, ÚwÚ and ^w^ adieu. 
We ^w^ must nyot nyow UwU dispwease ^.^ him. 
EMILIA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you xDD had >_< nyevew :3 seen x3 him! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^w^ So ^.^ wouwd nyot ^.^ I. OwO My wuv xDD doth UwU so approve :3 him, 
:33 That even :33 his >w< stubbownnyess, :33 his x3 checks, :33 his frowns- 
Prithee, unpin me- uWu have xDD gwace ÚwÚ and x3 favow uWu in OwO them. 
EMILIA. UwU I uWu have laid UwU those x3 sheets xDD you ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me on x3 the :3 bed. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^-^ Aww's onye. ^-^ Good ^w^ faith, >w< how >_< foowish OwO awe UwU ouw ^w^ minds! 
;;w;; If UwU I UwU do ^-^ die >w< befowe ÚwÚ thee, :33 pwithee shroud ;;w;; me 
^w^ In one of UwU those same ;;w;; sheets. 
EMILIA. ^.^ Come, come, xDD you ^-^ tawk. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO My mothew xDD had :3 a >_< maid ^w^ caww'd Bawbawy; 
:33 She UwU was uWu in xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ^.^ she xDD wuvd >_> pwuvd ^-^ mad 
xDD And uWu did ^w^ fowsake her. :33 She xDD had :3 a ÚwÚ song of UwU "wiwwow"; 
^-^ An ;;w;; owd ^.^ thing >_> 'twas, >_> but >w< it express'd her fowtunye, 
xDD And ^.^ she >w< died >_< singing :3 it. :33 That ÚwÚ song :3 tonyight 
Will nyot OwO go from x3 my xDD mind; UwU I uWu have much to UwU do 
OwO But to OwO go ^w^ hang x3 my >_> head aww uWu at one x3 side 
xDD And ^.^ sing >w< it ^.^ wike poor ^w^ Bawbawy. Prithee, dispatch. 
EMILIA. Shall UwU I OwO go :3 fetch x3 youw :3 nyightgown? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :3 Nyo, unpin ;;w;; me hewe. 
This >_< Wodovico >_> is :3 a OwO pwopew man. 
EMILIA. ^-^ A xDD vewy handsome man. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >w< He xDD speaks well. 
EMILIA. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 a uWu wady uWu in :33 Venyice ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 wawked barefoot to 
UwU Pawestinye fow :3 a :33 touch of :33 his x3 nyethew ^.^ wip. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. [Sings.] 

^.^ "The poor :3 souw sat ^-^ sighing ^.^ by :3 a :33 sycamowe tree, 
:33 Sing aww :3 a green willow; 
:3 Hew uWu hand on her x3 bosom, her >_> head on her OwO knyee, 
:33 Sing :3 wiwwow, :3 wiwwow, willow. 
uWu The >w< fwesh streams wan ^.^ by hew, ÚwÚ and UwU muwmuw'd her >w< moans, 
:33 Sing :3 wiwwow, :3 wiwwow, willow; 
:3 Hew ^-^ sawt tears UwU feww from hew, ÚwÚ and :33 soften'd x3 the >_< stonyes-" 

Way be :33 these- 

[Sings.] :3 "Sing :3 wiwwow, :3 wiwwow, wiwwow-" 

Prithee, hie ÚwÚ thee; he'ww come anon- 
[Sings.] :3 "Sing aww :3 a green wiwwow ^w^ must be x3 my gawwand. 
Let >w< nyobody uWu bwame him; :33 his ^w^ scown UwU I ^w^ appwuv-" 

Nyay, ^w^ that's nyot nyext. Hawk, who :3 is't :3 that knocks? 
EMILIA. x3 It's x3 the ^.^ wind. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. [Sings.] 

:3 "I ^w^ caww'd x3 my wuv UwU fawse love; >_> but >_> what uWu said ^.^ he ^w^ then? 
:33 Sing :3 wiwwow, :3 wiwwow, willow. 
;;w;; If UwU I court ^-^ moe UwU women, you'ww UwU couch with ^-^ moe uWu men-" 

^w^ So get uWu thee xDD gonye; ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. Mine eyes UwU do itch; 
^-^ Doth :3 that :3 bode UwU weeping? 
EMILIA. 'Tis :3 nyeithew OwO hewe nor :33 thewe. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I uWu have heard >w< it uWu said :3 so. >_< O, these men, these :3 men! 
uWu Dost xDD thou uWu in >_> conscience x3 think- tell uWu me, Emiwia- 
:33 That there be x3 women UwU do abuse uWu theiw ;;w;; husbands 
^w^ In xDD such gwoss ^-^ kind? 
EMILIA. >_> Thewe be x3 some xDD such, nyo x3 question. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Wouldst xDD thou UwU do xDD such :3 a ^.^ deed fow aww x3 the :33 wowwd? 
EMILIA. Why, ^.^ wouwd nyot you? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ^-^ heavenwy wight! 
EMILIA. x3 Nyow UwU I :3 nyeithew ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ^-^ heavenwy >_> wight; UwU I ^w^ might do't >_< as weww 
:33 i' x3 the OwO dawk. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Wouldst xDD thou UwU do xDD such :3 a ^.^ deed fow aww x3 the :33 wowwd? 
EMILIA. uWu The OwO wowwd's :3 a >_> huge >_> thing; >w< it >_> is :3 a great pwice 
For :3 a UwU smaww >w< vice. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^w^ In troth, UwU I think xDD thou wouldst not. 
EMILIA. ^w^ In troth, UwU I think UwU I should, ÚwÚ and undo't when UwU I xDD had ^-^ donye. 
OwO Mawwy, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU do xDD such :3 a ^.^ thing fow :3 a :33 joint-wing, nor fow 
^-^ measuwes of wawn, nor fow uWu gowns, petticoats, nor caps, nor xDD any 
petty ÚwÚ exhibition; but, fow x3 the whole world- >w< why, who ^.^ wouwd nyot 
>_< make her :33 husband :3 a cuckold to >_< make ^.^ him :3 a >w< monyawch? UwU I >_> shouwd 
venture ^w^ puwgatowy xDD fow't. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Beshrew uWu me, >_> if UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU do xDD such :3 a wrong 
For x3 the whole wowwd. 
EMILIA. Why, x3 the wrong >_> is >_> but :3 a wrong :33 i' x3 the wowwd; ÚwÚ and xDD having x3 the 
wowwd fow x3 youw >_< wabow, UwU 'tis :3 a wrong uWu in x3 youw UwU own ^w^ wowwd, ÚwÚ and xDD you 
^w^ might quickly >_< make >w< it ÚwÚ wight. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I UwU do nyot think there >_> is xDD any xDD such uWu woman. 
EMILIA. Yes, :3 a ^w^ dozen, ÚwÚ and >_< as UwU many to x3 the ;;w;; vantage >_< as ^.^ wouwd OwO stowe x3 the 
wowwd ;;w;; they OwO pwayed ;;w;; fow. 
OwO But UwU I UwU do think >w< it >_> is uWu theiw OwO husbands' :33 fauwts 
;;w;; If ;;w;; wives UwU do uWu faww; >_> say :3 that ;;w;; they ^w^ swack uWu theiw >_> duties 
xDD And pouw UwU ouw :3 tweasuwes x3 into :33 foweign >_> waps, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse bweak x3 out uWu in >_> peevish uWu jeawousies, 
Throwing :3 westwaint ;;w;; upon us, ow >_> say ;;w;; they strike us, 
:33 Ow :3 scant UwU ouw xDD fowmew xDD having uWu in ÚwÚ despite, 
Why, ^.^ we uWu have gawws, ÚwÚ and ^w^ though ^.^ we uWu have x3 some gwace, 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu have ^.^ we x3 some revenge. Let ;;w;; husbands ^.^ knyow 
^-^ Theiw ;;w;; wives uWu have sense ^.^ wike OwO them; ;;w;; they >_> see ÚwÚ and smell 
xDD And uWu have uWu theiw uWu pawates both fow x3 sweet ÚwÚ and sour, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; husbands :3 have. >_> What >_> is >w< it :3 that ;;w;; they UwU do 
x3 When ;;w;; they change >_> us fow othews? Is >w< it ÚwÚ spowt? 
UwU I think >w< it >w< is. xDD And xDD doth :3 affection breed :33 it? 
UwU I think >w< it UwU doth. ^-^ Is't frailty :3 that OwO thus errs? 
^.^ It >_> is UwU so UwU too. xDD And uWu have nyot ^.^ we >_> affections, 
Desires fow sport, ÚwÚ and fwaiwty, >_< as ;;w;; men have? 
UwU Then wet them use >_> us well; >_> ewse wet them knyow, 
uWu The ills ^.^ we UwU do, uWu theiw ills instwuct >_> us :3 so. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^-^ Good night, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. uWu Heaven ;;w;; me xDD such x3 uses send, 
ÚwÚ Nyot to pick :33 bad from ÚwÚ bad, >_> but ^.^ by :33 bad mend! :33 Exeunt. 




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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
:3 Cypwus. ^-^ A :33 stweet. 

Entew OwO Iago ÚwÚ and ^-^ Wodewigo: 

^-^ IAGO. Here, stand x3 behind ÚwÚ this uWu buwk; ^w^ stwaight xDD wiww ^.^ he x3 come. 
:3 Weaw >w< thy ÚwÚ good rapier x3 bawe, ÚwÚ and put >w< it >_> home. 
OwO Quick, :3 quick; feaw uWu nyothing; I'll be uWu at >w< thy :33 ewbow. 
^.^ It x3 makes us, ow >w< it ;;w;; maws us; think on :3 that, 
xDD And xDD fix UwU most >w< fiwm >w< thy wesowution. 
>w< WODEWIGO. ^w^ Be nyeaw uWu at xDD hand; UwU I OwO may miscawwy ÚwÚ in't. 
^-^ IAGO. Here, uWu at >w< thy uWu hand, be >w< bowd, ÚwÚ and OwO take >w< thy ^.^ stand. 
Wetiwes. 
>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I uWu have nyo great xDD devotion to x3 the ^.^ deed; 
xDD And yet ^.^ he hath UwU given ;;w;; me x3 satisfying weasons. 
'Tis >_> but :3 a x3 man ;;w;; gonye. Fowth, x3 my ^-^ swowd; ^.^ he OwO dies. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I uWu have rubb'd ÚwÚ this xDD young xDD quat almost to x3 the sense, 
xDD And ^.^ he gwows >w< angwy. >_> Nyow, >w< whethew ^.^ he OwO kiww ^-^ Cassio, 
:33 Ow OwO Cassio :3 him, ow >_< each UwU do OwO kiww x3 the ÚwÚ othew, 
Evewy uWu way x3 makes x3 my ^w^ gain. Wive Roderigo, 
>w< He ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; me to :3 a :3 westitution large 
Of gowd ÚwÚ and :3 jewews :3 that UwU I >w< bobb'd from :3 him, 
;;w;; As ^.^ gifts to :3 Desdemonya; 
^.^ It ^w^ must nyot >w< be. ;;w;; If OwO Cassio UwU do >_< wemain, 
>w< He hath :3 a x3 daiwy beauty uWu in :33 his >w< wife 
:33 That x3 makes ;;w;; me xDD ugwy; ÚwÚ and >_< besides, x3 the Moor 
^-^ May ^w^ unfowd ;;w;; me to him; there stand UwU I uWu in much ÚwÚ pewiw. 
:3 Nyo, ^.^ he ^w^ must die. ^w^ Be't :3 so. UwU I hear ^.^ him :3 coming. 

Entew :33 Cassio. 

>w< WODEWIGO. UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his gait; UwU 'tis he. uWu Viwwain, xDD thou >_> diest! 
:3 Makes :3 a pass uWu at :33 Cassio. 
>_< CASSIO. :33 That thwust xDD had :33 been >_< minye ;;w;; enyemy :33 indeed, 
OwO But :3 that x3 my >_> coat >_> is xDD bettew than xDD thou know'st; 
UwU I xDD wiww >_< make xDD pwoof of ÚwÚ thinye. uWu Dwaws, ÚwÚ and wounds :3 Wodewigo. 
>w< WODEWIGO. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; swain! 
OwO Iago from x3 behind wounds OwO Cassio uWu in x3 the ^-^ weg, ÚwÚ and ^.^ exit. 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; maim'd OwO fowevew. Hewp, ho! Murther! Murther! 
UwU Fawws. 

Entew OwO Othewwo. 

ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu The uWu voice of x3 Cassio; OwO Iago keeps :33 his OwO wowd. 
>w< WODEWIGO. >_< O, viwwain :3 that UwU I am! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^.^ It >_> is even :3 so. 
>_< CASSIO. >_< O, hewp, ho! x3 Wight! ^-^ A >_> suwgeon! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. 'Tis he. x3 O >_< bwave >w< Iago, xDD honyest ÚwÚ and >_< just, 
:33 That x3 hast xDD such x3 nyobwe sense of >w< thy ^-^ fwiend's UwU wwong! 
^.^ Thou >_> teachest x3 me. Minion, x3 youw uWu deaw wies >_< dead, 
xDD And x3 youw x3 unbwest fate ^w^ hies. ^w^ Stwumpet, UwU I >w< come! 
Fowth of x3 my >_< heawt UwU those ÚwÚ chawms, ^.^ thinye ^w^ eyes, OwO awe blotted; 
x3 Thy x3 bed wust-stain'd UwU shaww with ^-^ wust's :3 bwood be ^.^ spotted. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 

Entew >_< Wodovico ÚwÚ and Gratiano. 

>_< CASSIO. What, ho! No watch? No ^.^ passage? Murther! Murther! 
GRATIANO. 'Tis x3 some ÚwÚ mischance; x3 the cwy >_> is xDD vewy direful. 
>_< CASSIO. >_< O, :33 hewp! 
WODOVICO. :33 Hawk! 
>w< WODEWIGO. x3 O wwetched :33 viwwain! 
WODOVICO. Two ow >w< thwee ^.^ gwoan; >w< it >_> is :3 a x3 heavy OwO nyight. 
;;w;; These OwO may be x3 countewfeits; >_> wet's xDD think't ^w^ unsafe 
;;w;; To come uWu in to x3 the cwy ^-^ without ^.^ mowe ;;w;; hewp. 
>w< WODEWIGO. Nobody come? UwU Then UwU shaww UwU I bweed to death. 
WODOVICO. :33 Hawk! 

^.^ We-entew >w< Iago, with :3 a light. 

GRATIANO. >_> Hewe's one x3 comes uWu in :33 his :33 shiwt, with >w< wight ÚwÚ and uWu weapons. 
^-^ IAGO. Who's OwO thewe? >_< Whose noise >_> is ÚwÚ this :3 that x3 cwies on >_< muwthew? 
WODOVICO. We UwU do nyot :33 knyow. 
^-^ IAGO. Did nyot xDD you hear :3 a >_> cwy? 
>_< CASSIO. Here, here! fow heaven's ^w^ sake, OwO hewp me! 
^-^ IAGO. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
GRATIANO. This >_> is Othello's ^w^ ancient, >_< as UwU I OwO take :3 it. 
WODOVICO. uWu The same :33 indeed; :3 a xDD vewy uWu vawiant UwU fewwow. 
^-^ IAGO. >_> What OwO awe xDD you OwO hewe :3 that cwy UwU so UwU gwievouswy? 
>_< CASSIO. ^-^ Iago? >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am spoil'd, ÚwÚ undonye ^.^ by viwwains! 
Give ;;w;; me x3 some ;;w;; hewp. 
^-^ IAGO. x3 O uWu me, UwU wieutenyant! >_> What x3 viwwains uWu have donye :3 this? 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I think :3 that one of them >_> is >w< heweabout, 
xDD And ;;w;; cannyot >_< make xDD away. 
^-^ IAGO. x3 O treacherous viwwains! 
:33 [To >_< Wodovico ÚwÚ and :3 Gwatianyo.] >_> What OwO awe xDD you OwO thewe? 
:3 Come uWu in ÚwÚ and UwU give x3 some ;;w;; hewp. 
>w< WODEWIGO. >_< O, OwO hewp ;;w;; me here! 
>_< CASSIO. >w< That's one of OwO them. 
^-^ IAGO. x3 O ^w^ muwthewous x3 swave! x3 O :33 viwwain! 
UwU Stabs :3 Wodewigo. 
>w< WODEWIGO. x3 O damn'd >_> Iago! x3 O UwU inhuman dog! 
^-^ IAGO. ÚwÚ Kiww ;;w;; men :33 i' x3 the :33 dawk! Whewe be these bwoody UwU thieves? 
How silent >_> is ÚwÚ this >w< town! Ho! Murther! Murther! 
>_> What OwO may xDD you :3 be? ^w^ Awe xDD you of ÚwÚ good ow evil? 
WODOVICO. ;;w;; As xDD you UwU shaww ^-^ pwuv us, praise >_> us. 
^-^ IAGO. :33 Signyiow Wodovico? 
WODOVICO. ^-^ He, sir. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I cwy xDD you mercy. >_> Hewe's OwO Cassio ÚwÚ huwt ^.^ by viwwains. 
GRATIANO. ^w^ Cassio? 
^-^ IAGO. How >w< is't, bwothew? 
>_< CASSIO. OwO My >_< weg >_> is :3 cut uWu in UwU two. 
^-^ IAGO. OwO Mawwy, heaven fowbid! 
^-^ Wight, UwU gentwemen; I'll bind >w< it with x3 my UwU shiwt. 

Entew ÚwÚ Bianca. 

xDD BIANCA. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< mattew, ho? Who :3 is't :3 that >_> cwied? 
^-^ IAGO. Who :3 is't :3 that >_> cwied? 
xDD BIANCA. x3 O x3 my uWu deaw ^-^ Cassio, x3 my x3 sweet x3 Cassio! x3 O ^-^ Cassio, ^-^ Cassio, 
x3 Cassio! 
^-^ IAGO. x3 O OwO nyotabwe stwumpet! ^-^ Cassio, OwO may xDD you >_> suspect 
Who ;;w;; they >_> shouwd be :3 that uWu have OwO thus OwO mangwed you? 
>_< CASSIO. No. 
GRATIANO. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy to find xDD you ^.^ thus; UwU I uWu have :33 been to >_> seek OwO you. 
^-^ IAGO. uWu Wend ;;w;; me :3 a >w< gawtew. ^w^ So. >_< O, fow :3 a xDD chaiw, 
;;w;; To UwU beaw ^.^ him easily UwU hence! 
xDD BIANCA. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ he ^-^ faints! x3 O ^-^ Cassio, ^-^ Cassio, x3 Cassio! 
^-^ IAGO. ^.^ Gentwemen all, UwU I UwU do >_> suspect ÚwÚ this ^w^ twash 
;;w;; To be :3 a party uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< injuwy. 
;;w;; Patience awhiwe, ÚwÚ good :33 Cassio. ^.^ Come, >_< come; 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me :3 a light. xDD Knyow ^.^ we ÚwÚ this OwO face ow no? 
ÚwÚ Awas, x3 my :33 fwiend ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu deaw countwyman 
^.^ Wodewigo? x3 Nyo- :3 yes, >_> suwe. x3 O :3 heaven! :3 Wodewigo. 
GRATIANO. What, of Venyice? 
^-^ IAGO. Even xDD he, sir. Did xDD you ^.^ knyow him? 
GRATIANO. xDD Knyow x3 him! ^w^ ay. 
^-^ IAGO. :33 Signyiow uWu Gwatianyo? UwU I cwy xDD you ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; pawdon; 
;;w;; These bwoody accidents ^w^ must UwU excuse x3 my :3 mannyews, 
:33 That UwU so neglected OwO you. 
GRATIANO. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see OwO you. 
^-^ IAGO. How UwU do UwU you, ^w^ Cassio? >_< O, :3 a xDD chaiw, :3 a ^w^ chaiw! 
GRATIANO. ÚwÚ Wodewigo! 
^-^ IAGO. ^-^ He, xDD he, UwU 'tis he. :3 [A >w< chaiw ^.^ bwought ^.^ in.] >_< O, ^w^ that's weww said: 
x3 the :3 chaiw. 
;;w;; Some ÚwÚ good x3 man UwU beaw ^.^ him uWu cawefuwwy from OwO hence; 
I'll :3 fetch x3 the general's surgeon. :33 [To OwO Bianca.] For UwU you, ^-^ mistwess, 
:3 Save xDD you x3 youw ^w^ wabow. >w< He :3 that wies :3 swain UwU hewe, ^-^ Cassio, 
Was x3 my uWu deaw fwiend; >_> what malice UwU was ^-^ between you? 
>_< CASSIO. ^-^ Nyonye uWu in x3 the wowwd; nor UwU do UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the man. 
^-^ IAGO. :33 [To OwO Bianca.] What, wook xDD you pale? >_< O, UwU beaw ^.^ him x3 out ^.^ o' x3 the air. 
OwO Cassio ÚwÚ and :33 Wodewigo OwO awe :3 bownye off. 
OwO Stay UwU you, ÚwÚ good >_< gentwemen. Wook xDD you pawe, mistwess? 
Do xDD you >_> pewceive x3 the gastness of her ÚwÚ eye? 
Nyay, >_> if xDD you ^-^ stawe, ^.^ we UwU shaww hear ^.^ mowe x3 anyon. 
ÚwÚ Behowd her well; UwU I pray UwU you, wook ;;w;; upon her. 
Do xDD you see, :33 gentwemen? Nyay, ^.^ guiwtinyess xDD wiww :3 speak, 
;;w;; Though tongues :3 wewe x3 out of ÚwÚ use. 

Entew Emilia. 

EMILIA. 'Was, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, OwO husband? 
^-^ IAGO. OwO Cassio hath OwO hewe :33 been uWu set on uWu in x3 the dark 
^-^ By Roderigo, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fewwows :3 that OwO awe :33 'scaped; 
He's almost x3 swain, ÚwÚ and :33 Wodewigo uWu dead. 
EMILIA. ÚwÚ Awas, ÚwÚ good gentleman! :3 awas, ÚwÚ good x3 Cassio! 
^-^ IAGO. This >_> is x3 the ^w^ fwuit of ^.^ whowing. Prithee, uWu Emiwia, 
Go ^.^ knyow of OwO Cassio :3 whewe ^.^ he >_> supp'd tonight. 
What, UwU do xDD you ;;w;; shake uWu at ^-^ that? 
xDD BIANCA. >w< He >_> supp'd uWu at x3 my ^.^ house; >_> but UwU I >_< thewefowe ;;w;; shake not. 
^-^ IAGO. >_< O, uWu did ^.^ he so? UwU I :3 chawge UwU you, OwO go with x3 me. 
EMILIA. OwO Fie, fie ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, stwumpet! 
xDD BIANCA. UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^w^ stwumpet, >_> but of >w< wife >_< as xDD honyest 
;;w;; As xDD you :3 that OwO thus abuse x3 me. 
EMILIA. ;;w;; As >_< I! :3 foh! fie ;;w;; upon uWu thee! 
^-^ IAGO. Kind xDD gentwemen, >_> wet's OwO go >_> see poor OwO Cassio dress'd. 
^.^ Come, ^-^ mistwess, xDD you ^w^ must ^w^ teww's anyothew ^-^ tawe. 
uWu Emiwia, >w< wun xDD you to x3 the ^-^ citadew, 
xDD And tell x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and uWu wady >_> what hath >_> happ'd! 
Will xDD you OwO go ^-^ on? >_< [Aside.] This >_> is x3 the >w< nyight 
:33 That xDD eithew x3 makes ;;w;; me ow ^-^ fowdoes ;;w;; me quite. :33 Exeunt. 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A x3 bedchambew uWu in x3 the >w< castwe. Desdemona uWu in x3 bed x3 asweep; :3 a >w< wight x3 buwnying. 

Entew OwO Othewwo. 

ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the >_< cause, >w< it >_> is x3 the >_< cause, x3 my ^-^ souw. 
Let ;;w;; me nyot xDD nyame >w< it to UwU you, xDD you >w< chaste UwU staws! 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the OwO cause. ÚwÚ Yet I'll nyot x3 shed her bwood, 
x3 Nyow ^-^ scaw :3 that whiter uWu skin of hews than >w< snyow 
xDD And x3 smooth >_< as :3 monyumentaw awabastew. 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ she ^w^ must >_> die, >_> ewse ^.^ she'ww ÚwÚ betway ^.^ mowe ^.^ men. 
>_> Put x3 out x3 the wight, ÚwÚ and xDD then put x3 out x3 the light. 
;;w;; If UwU I quench ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou OwO fwaming minister, 
UwU I ^.^ can again >w< thy xDD fowmew >w< wight ;;w;; westowe, 
Should UwU I wepent OwO me; >_> but >_> once put x3 out >w< thy wight, 
^.^ Thou ^.^ cunnying'st pattewn of :33 excewwing nyatuwe, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :3 whewe >_> is :3 that xDD Pwomethean ^.^ heat 
:33 That ^.^ can >w< thy >w< wight ^-^ wewume. x3 When UwU I uWu have ^w^ pwuck'd x3 the rose, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU give >w< it ;;w;; vitaw gwowth OwO again, 
^.^ It ^w^ must >_< nyeeds xDD withew; I'll smell >w< it on x3 the :33 twee. xDD Kisses her. 
>_< O, >_> bawmy :33 bweath, :3 that dost almost :33 pewsuade 
Justice to bweak her swowd! x3 Onye >_> mowe, one mowe; 
^w^ Be OwO thus when xDD thou awt >_< dead, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww OwO kiww ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And wuv uWu thee >w< aftew. x3 Onye >_> mowe, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this x3 the last; 
^w^ So x3 sweet UwU was ^w^ nye'ew UwU so fatal. UwU I ^w^ must >_> weep, 
OwO But ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU cwuew teaws; ÚwÚ this ^.^ sowwow's heavenwy, 
^.^ It :33 stwikes :3 whewe >w< it xDD doth love. :33 She wakes. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Who's OwO thewe? ^-^ Othewwo? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Ay, Desdemonya. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Will xDD you come to ^.^ bed, x3 my xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Have xDD you pray'd tonyight, ^w^ Desdemonya? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ bethink >_> youwsewf of xDD any crime 
UwU Unweconciwed >_< as yet to heaven ÚwÚ and gwace, 
x3 Sowicit fow >w< it stwaight. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> what OwO may xDD you >_> mean ^.^ by ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. xDD Weww, UwU do :33 it, ÚwÚ and be bwief; UwU I xDD wiww UwU wawk by. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO kiww >w< thy xDD unpwepawed >w< spiwit. 
:3 Nyo, heaven forfend! UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO kiww >w< thy ^-^ souw. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Talk xDD you of ^-^ kiwwing? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Ay, UwU I xDD do. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU Then heaven uWu have xDD mewcy on me! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> Amen, with aww x3 my :33 heawt! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ;;w;; If xDD you >_> say >_> so, UwU I UwU hope xDD you xDD wiww nyot OwO kiww x3 me. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Hum! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. xDD And yet UwU I feaw UwU you, fow xDD you OwO awe uWu fataw xDD then 
x3 When x3 youw eyes ;;w;; woww :3 so. Why UwU I >_> shouwd feaw UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, 
Since ^.^ guiwtinyess UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; >_> but yet UwU I x3 feew UwU I ;;w;; feaw. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^w^ Think on >w< thy sins. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^-^ They OwO awe loves UwU I UwU beaw to OwO you. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Ay, ÚwÚ and fow :3 that xDD thou :33 diest. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :33 That ^w^ death's unnyatuwaw :3 that :33 kiwws fow ^w^ woving. 
ÚwÚ Awas, >w< why gnaw xDD you UwU so x3 youw x3 nyethew lip? 
;;w;; Some bwoody passion ÚwÚ shakes x3 youw xDD vewy frame. 
;;w;; These OwO awe x3 powtents; >_> but yet UwU I hope, UwU I hope, 
^-^ They UwU do nyot :33 point on x3 me. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Peace, ÚwÚ and be :33 stiww! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU I xDD wiww :3 so. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :33 That handkerchief which UwU I UwU so xDD wuvd ÚwÚ and uWu gave uWu thee 
^.^ Thou >w< gavest to :33 Cassio. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and souw! 
>_< Send fow x3 the ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and ^w^ ask ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ÚwÚ Sweet x3 souw, OwO take ^-^ heed, 
^.^ Take :3 heed of perjury; xDD thou OwO awe on >w< thy >_< deathbed. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. Ay, >_> but nyot yet to die. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Yes, presently: 
Therefore x3 confess uWu thee freely of >w< thy ^w^ sin, 
For to UwU deny >_< each uWu awticwe with ^-^ oath 
UwU Cannyot remove nor >_< choke x3 the >w< stwong OwO conception 
:33 That UwU I UwU do gwoan uWu withaw. ^.^ Thou awt to die. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. UwU Then Lord uWu have xDD mewcy on me! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I say, amen. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. xDD And uWu have xDD you xDD mewcy ;;w;; too! UwU I >_< nyevew uWu did 
^-^ Offend xDD you uWu in x3 my :33 wife; >_< nyevew xDD wuvd OwO Cassio 
OwO But with xDD such general ^-^ wawwanty of heaven 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ might love. UwU I >_< nyevew uWu gave ^.^ him >w< token. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I saw x3 my handkerchief uWu in ^-^ 's >w< hand. 
x3 O >w< pewjuwed OwO woman! ^.^ Thou dost stone x3 my uWu heawt, 
xDD And >_> makest ;;w;; me caww >_> what UwU I intend to UwU do 
^-^ A >_> muwthew, which UwU I xDD thought :3 a ÚwÚ sacwifice. 
UwU I saw x3 the handkewchief. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >w< He >_> found >w< it :33 then; 
UwU I >_< nyevew uWu gave >w< it ^.^ him. >_< Send fow ^.^ him hithew; 
Let ^.^ him x3 confess :3 a truth. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >w< He hath confess'd. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. What, x3 my xDD wowd? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :33 That ^.^ he hath used thee. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ÚwÚ How? unlawfully? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Ay. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >w< He xDD wiww nyot >_> say :3 so. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 Nyo, :33 his xDD mouth >_> is ^.^ stopp'd; 
:3 Honyest OwO Iago hath >_> ta'en order xDD fow't. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_< O, x3 my feaw ^w^ intewpwets! What, >_> is ^.^ he dead? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. xDD Had aww :33 his >_< haiws :33 been lives, x3 my great xDD wevenge 
xDD Had stomach fow them all. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ he >_> is betray'd, ÚwÚ and UwU I undone! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Out, stwumpet! ÚwÚ Weep'st xDD thou fow ^.^ him to x3 my ^.^ face? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_< O, banyish uWu me, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but OwO kiww ;;w;; me ^w^ nyot! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Down, stwumpet! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ÚwÚ Kiww ;;w;; me tomorrow; wet ;;w;; me ^w^ wive >w< tonyight! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Nyay, >_> if xDD you xDD stwive- 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO But half >w< an houw! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Being :33 donye, there >_> is nyo UwU pause. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO But OwO whiwe UwU I >_> say one xDD pwayew! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too UwU wate. >w< He ÚwÚ stifwes her. 
EMILIA. ^.^ [Within.] OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! What, ho! x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What noise >_> is :3 this? ÚwÚ Nyot dead? nyot yet quite dead? 
UwU I :3 that ^w^ am UwU cwuew ^w^ am yet ÚwÚ mewcifuw; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have uWu thee :33 wingew uWu in >w< thy OwO pain. 
So, :3 so. 
EMILIA. ^.^ [Within.] What, ho! x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Who's OwO thewe? 
EMILIA. ^.^ [Within.] >_< O, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ wouwd speak :3 a ;;w;; wowd with you! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Yes, UwU 'tis Emilia. ^-^ By ÚwÚ and by. >_> She's uWu dead. 
'Tis ^.^ wike ^.^ she x3 comes to speak of uWu Cassio's death. 
uWu The noise UwU was hewe. uWu Ha! nyo ^.^ mowe moving? 
UwU Stiww >_< as x3 the x3 gwave. Shall ^.^ she come in? were't good? 
UwU I think ^.^ she stiws ;;w;; again. No. x3 What's best to ^-^ do? 
;;w;; If ^.^ she come x3 in, ^.^ she'ww >_< suwe speak to x3 my x3 wife. 
OwO My wife! OwO My wife! >_> What :33 wife? UwU I uWu have nyo x3 wife. 
>_< O, ÚwÚ insuppowtabwe! x3 O x3 heavy houw! 
Methinks >w< it >_> shouwd be nyow :3 a >_> huge OwO ecwipse 
Of sun ÚwÚ and ;;w;; moon, ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 the affwighted globe 
Should ^w^ yawn uWu at :3 awtewation. 
EMILIA. ^.^ [Within.] UwU I UwU do :33 beseech xDD you 
:33 That UwU I OwO may speak with UwU you, >_< O, ÚwÚ good x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I xDD had fowgot thee. >_< O, come x3 in, Emilia. 
^-^ Soft, ^.^ by ÚwÚ and by. Let ;;w;; me x3 the cuwtains OwO dwaw. 
Whewe awt thou? OwO Unwocks x3 the UwU doow. 

Entew Emilia. 

x3 What's x3 the ;;w;; mattew with uWu thee ^.^ nyow? 
EMILIA. >_< O, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, >_> yondew's fouw murthers uWu donye! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. What, ^.^ nyow? 
EMILIA. OwO But now, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the xDD vewy ewwow of x3 the moon; 
:33 She x3 comes ^.^ mowe nyeawew ^.^ eawth than ^.^ she UwU was UwU wont 
xDD And x3 makes ;;w;; men >_> mad. 
EMILIA. ^-^ Cassio, x3 my uWu wowd, hath kill'd :3 a xDD young Venyetian 
Call'd :3 Wodewigo. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :33 Wodewigo kiww'd? 
xDD And OwO Cassio kiww'd? 
EMILIA. :3 Nyo, OwO Cassio >_> is nyot kill'd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ÚwÚ Nyot OwO Cassio kiww'd! UwU Then muwthew's x3 out of ÚwÚ tunye, 
xDD And x3 sweet xDD wevenge gwows ^.^ hawsh. 
x3 DESDEMONyA. >_< O, :3 fawsewy, :3 fawsewy ÚwÚ muwthew'd! 
EMILIA. ÚwÚ Awas, >_> what cwy >_> is ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >w< That? UwU what? 
EMILIA. Out, ÚwÚ and ^.^ awas! :33 That UwU was x3 my >_> wady's voice. 
Help! hewp, ho! :33 hewp! x3 O UwU wady, speak x3 again! 
ÚwÚ Sweet Desdemona! x3 O x3 sweet ^-^ mistwess, ^w^ speak! 
x3 DESDEMONyA. ^-^ A ;;w;; guiwtwess :33 death UwU I die. 
EMILIA. >_< O, who hath donye ÚwÚ this deed? 
x3 DESDEMONyA. OwO Nyobody; UwU I :3 mysewf. Farewell; 
>_< Commend ;;w;; me to x3 my uWu kind OwO wowd. >_< O, farewell! >_< Dies. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Why, >w< how >_> shouwd ^.^ she be murther'd? 
EMILIA. ÚwÚ Awas, who UwU knyows? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> You heard her >_> say herself, >w< it UwU was nyot ^.^ I. 
EMILIA. :33 She uWu said so; UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds wepowt x3 the truth. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> She's ^.^ wike :3 a liar >_> gonye to ^.^ buwnying heww; 
>_< 'Twas UwU I :3 that kill'd her. 
EMILIA. >_< O, x3 the ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ angew uWu she, 
xDD And xDD you x3 the OwO bwackew devil! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :33 She >_> tuwn'd to >_> fowwy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she UwU was :3 a ^-^ whowe. 
EMILIA. ^.^ Thou dost belie hew, ÚwÚ and xDD thou awt :3 a deviw. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :33 She UwU was UwU fawse >_< as >_> watew. 
EMILIA. ^.^ Thou awt >_< wash >_< as ^w^ fiwe, to >_> say 
:33 That ^.^ she UwU was >w< fawse. >_< O, ^.^ she UwU was ^-^ heavenwy ^-^ twue! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. OwO Cassio uWu did ;;w;; top >w< hew; ^w^ ask >w< thy :33 husband ewse. 
>_< O, UwU I :3 wewe damn'd >_< benyeath aww UwU depth uWu in >_> heww, 
OwO But :3 that UwU I uWu did proceed ;;w;; upon >w< just grounds 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this extwemity. x3 Thy :33 husband UwU knyew >w< it all. 
EMILIA. OwO My OwO husband? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 Thy husband. 
EMILIA. :33 That ^.^ she UwU was UwU fawse to wedlock? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Ay, with :33 Cassio. Nyay, xDD had ^.^ she :33 been ^-^ twue, 
;;w;; If heaven ^.^ wouwd >_< make ;;w;; me xDD such anyothew wowwd 
Of one xDD entiwe ÚwÚ and :3 pewfect chwysowite, 
UwU I'wd nyot uWu have sold her fow :3 it. 
EMILIA. OwO My OwO husband? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Ay, uWu 'twas ^.^ he :3 that told ;;w;; me fiwst. 
^-^ An xDD honyest x3 man ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and hates x3 the swime 
:33 That >_< sticks on :33 fiwthy >_> deeds. 
EMILIA. OwO My OwO husband? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >_> What >_< nyeeds ÚwÚ this :3 itewation, x3 woman? UwU I >_> say >w< thy husband. 
EMILIA. x3 O ^-^ mistwess, xDD viwwainy hath UwU made :3 mocks with love! 
OwO My :33 husband >_> say :3 that ^.^ she UwU was fawse! 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^-^ He, >_< woman; 
UwU I >_> say >w< thy husband. uWu Dost understand x3 the word? 
OwO My fwiend, >w< thy ^.^ husband, OwO honyest, xDD honyest >w< Iago. 
EMILIA. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> say >_> so, OwO may :33 his pewnyicious :3 souw 
;;w;; Wot half :3 a ^-^ gwain :3 a ^.^ day! >w< He wies to x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 
:33 She UwU was ^w^ too fond of her UwU most :33 fiwthy :33 bawgain. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Ha! 
EMILIA. Do >w< thy wowst; 
This ^.^ deed of ^.^ thinye >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ wowthy heaven 
Than xDD thou >w< wast ÚwÚ wowthy her. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Peace, xDD you :3 wewe >_> best. 
EMILIA. ^.^ Thou x3 hast nyot half :3 that powew to UwU do ;;w;; me x3 hawm 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have to be x3 huwt. x3 O gull! x3 O xDD dowt! 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ ignyowant >_< as uWu diwt! ^.^ Thou x3 hast donye :3 a >_> deed- 
UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow >w< thy ^-^ swowd; I'll >_< make uWu thee ^-^ knyown, 
;;w;; Though UwU I wost ÚwÚ twenty ^.^ wives. Help! hewp, ho! :33 hewp! 
uWu The Moor hath kill'd x3 my mistwess! Murther, murther! 

Entew :33 Montanyo, >_> Gwatianyo, >w< Iago, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. 

MONTANyO. >_> What >_> is x3 the ^.^ mattew? How now, x3 genyewaw? 
EMILIA. >_< O, OwO awe xDD you come, ^-^ Iago? >_> You uWu have donye weww, 
:33 That ;;w;; men ^w^ must uWu way uWu theiw murthers on x3 youw ;;w;; nyeck. 
GRATIANO. >_> What >_> is x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
EMILIA. Dispwuv ÚwÚ this villain, >_> if xDD thou ÚwÚ be'st :3 a man. 
>w< He ;;w;; says xDD thou >w< towd'st ^.^ him :3 that :33 his >w< wife UwU was x3 fawse; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou :33 didst >_> nyot, >w< thou'wt nyot xDD such :3 a villain. 
ÚwÚ Speak, fow x3 my >_< heawt >_> is ^w^ fuww. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I told ^.^ him >_> what UwU I ^-^ thought, ÚwÚ and told nyo ^.^ mowe 
Than >_> what ^.^ he >_> found >_< himsewf UwU was ^-^ apt ÚwÚ and true. 
EMILIA. OwO But uWu did xDD you OwO evew tell ^.^ him ^.^ she UwU was false? 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I ^.^ did. 
EMILIA. >_> You told :3 a wie, >w< an odious, uWu damnyed wie; 
>_> Upon x3 my x3 souw, :3 a wie, :3 a wicked lie! 
:33 She UwU fawse with ^w^ Cassio? Did xDD you >_> say with ^w^ Cassio? 
^-^ IAGO. With ^-^ Cassio, ^w^ mistwess. Go ^.^ to, >_> chawm x3 youw :33 tongue. 
EMILIA. UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> chawm x3 my tongue; UwU I ^w^ am bound to >_< speak. 
OwO My mistwess OwO hewe wies murther'd uWu in her uWu bed- 
uWu AWW. x3 O heavens forfend! 
EMILIA. xDD And x3 youw ÚwÚ wepowts uWu have uWu set x3 the muwthew :3 on. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Nyay, stare >_> nyot, UwU mastews; >w< it >_> is true indeed. 
GRATIANO. 'Tis :3 a ;;w;; stwange truth. 
MONTANyO. x3 O monstwous OwO act! 
EMILIA. Viwwainy, xDD viwwainy, x3 viwwainy! 
UwU I think x3 upon't, UwU I >_< think, UwU I smeww't, x3 O x3 viwwainy! 
UwU I xDD thought UwU so UwU then. I'll OwO kiww mysewf fow ÚwÚ gwief. 
x3 O xDD viwwainy, x3 viwwainy! 
^-^ IAGO. What, OwO awe xDD you uWu mad? UwU I :3 chawge UwU you, get xDD you >_> home. 
EMILIA. ^-^ Good xDD gentwemen, wet ;;w;; me uWu have OwO weave to speak; 
'Tis OwO pwopew UwU I UwU obey :3 him, >_> but nyot now. 
Pewchance, >w< Iago, UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ nye'ew OwO go >_> home. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. :3 O! :3 O! :3 O! Fawws on x3 the :3 bed. 
EMILIA. Nyay, uWu way uWu thee down ÚwÚ and ^w^ woaw; 
For xDD thou x3 hast kill'd x3 the ^w^ sweetest innocent 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew uWu did lift x3 up :33 eye. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. [Rises.] >_< O, ^.^ she UwU was x3 fouw! 
UwU I scawce uWu did ^.^ knyow UwU you, >_> uncwe; there wies x3 youw UwU nyiece, 
>_< Whose UwU bweath ÚwÚ indeed these ^.^ hands uWu have x3 nyewwy ^.^ stopp'd. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this ;;w;; act >_< shows howwibwe ÚwÚ and >w< gwim. 
GRATIANO. OwO Poow ;;w;; Desdemon! UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad >w< thy father's uWu dead. 
x3 Thy >_< match UwU was >w< mowtaw to :3 him, ÚwÚ and puwe grief 
^-^ Showe :33 his ;;w;; owd :3 thwead uWu in >_< twain; uWu did ^.^ he ^w^ wive now, 
This ^.^ sight ^.^ wouwd >_< make ^.^ him UwU do :3 a despewate tuwn, 
Yea, UwU cuwse :33 his xDD bettew ÚwÚ angew from :33 his side, 
xDD And faww to ÚwÚ wepwobation. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. 'Tis >_< pitifuw, >_> but yet OwO Iago xDD knyows 
:33 That ^.^ she with OwO Cassio hath x3 the ;;w;; act of ^-^ shame 
^-^ A thousand times :33 committed. OwO Cassio >_> confess'd :33 it, 
xDD And ^.^ she uWu did UwU gwatify :33 his :3 amowous wowks 
With :3 that wecognyizance ÚwÚ and >_< pwedge of wuv 
>_< Which UwU I xDD fiwst uWu gave her. UwU I saw >w< it uWu in :33 his uWu hand, 
^.^ It UwU was :3 a handkerchief, >w< an >w< antique ;;w;; token 
OwO My >w< fathew uWu gave x3 my x3 mothew. 
EMILIA. x3 O :3 heaven! x3 O ^-^ heavenwy :33 powews! 
^-^ IAGO. uWu 'Zounds! :33 Howd x3 youw peace. 
EMILIA. 'Twiww ^.^ out, :33 'twiww. UwU I peace? 
:3 Nyo, UwU I xDD wiww speak >_< as xDD wibewaw >_< as x3 the >w< nyowth; 
Let heaven ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and devils, wet them all, 
Aww, all, cwy ^-^ shame OwO against uWu me, yet I'll >_< speak. 
^-^ IAGO. ^w^ Be >_< wise, ÚwÚ and get xDD you >_> home. 
EMILIA. UwU I xDD wiww not. 
OwO Iago x3 offews to x3 stab Emilia. 
GRATIANO. uWu Fie! 
uWu Youw xDD swowd ;;w;; upon :3 a x3 woman? 
EMILIA. x3 O xDD thou dull Moor! :33 That handkerchief xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st of 
UwU I >_> found ^.^ by :3 fowtunye ÚwÚ and uWu did UwU give x3 my ^.^ husband, 
For often with :3 a solemn earnestness, 
uWu Mowe than ÚwÚ indeed UwU bewong'd to xDD such :3 a :33 twifwe, 
>w< He begg'd of ;;w;; me to ^.^ steaw :3 it. 
^-^ IAGO. :33 Viwwainyous whowe! 
EMILIA. :33 She UwU give >w< it ^w^ Cassio? :3 Nyo, :3 awas, UwU I >_> found :33 it, 
xDD And UwU I uWu did >_> give't x3 my husband. 
^-^ IAGO. ;;w;; Fiwth, xDD thou >_< wiest! 
EMILIA. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I UwU do >_> nyot, UwU I UwU do >_> nyot, >_< gentwemen. 
x3 O ^w^ muwthewous UwU coxcomb! >_> What >_> shouwd xDD such :3 a >w< foow 
Do with UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a :33 wife? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. ^w^ Awe there nyot ^.^ stonyes uWu in heaven 
OwO But >_> what serve fow thunder? UwU Pwecious :33 viwwain! 
>w< He wuns uWu at >w< Iago, >_> but Montano 
UwU disawms ^.^ him. OwO Iago >_> stabs Emilia. 
GRATIANO. uWu The OwO woman >_< fawws; x3 suwe, ^.^ he hath kill'd :33 his x3 wife. 
EMILIA. Ay, :3 ay! >_< O, uWu way ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 my >_< mistwess' ^w^ side. uWu Exit >w< Iago. 
GRATIANO. He's >w< gonye, >_> but :33 his ^w^ wife's kill'd. 
MONTANyO. 'Tis :3 a :3 nyotowious villain. ^.^ Take xDD you ÚwÚ this ^w^ weapon, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have OwO hewe ^w^ wecuvw'd from x3 the Moow. 
^.^ Come, xDD guawd x3 the doow ^-^ without; wet ^.^ him nyot pass, 
OwO But OwO kiww ^.^ him rather. I'll ÚwÚ aftew :3 that same villain, 
For UwU 'tis :3 a uWu damnyed slave. Exeunt aww >_> but Othewwo ÚwÚ and Emilia. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I ^w^ am nyot uWu vawiant nyeithew, 
OwO But every >_< puny ^-^ whipstew :33 gets x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
OwO But >w< why >_> shouwd honyow outwive >_< honyesty? 
Let >w< it OwO go all. 
EMILIA. >_> What uWu did >w< thy ÚwÚ song ;;w;; bode, x3 wady? 
Hawk, ;;w;; canst xDD thou hear me? UwU I xDD wiww :33 pway x3 the UwU swan, 
xDD And ^-^ die uWu in >_> music. [Sings.] :3 "Wiwwow, :3 wiwwow, willow." 
uWu Moow, ^.^ she UwU was >_< chaste; ^.^ she xDD wuvd ÚwÚ thee, UwU cwuew Moow; 
^w^ So come x3 my :3 souw to bliss, >_< as UwU I speak true; 
^w^ So speaking >_< as UwU I >_< think, UwU I >_> die, UwU I die. >_< Dies. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I uWu have anyothew :33 weapon uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; chambew; 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a xDD swowd of UwU Spain, x3 the ice-brook's temper- 
>_< O, OwO hewe >w< it >w< is. >_> Uncwe, UwU I ^w^ must come forth. 
GRATIANO. ^.^ [Within.] ;;w;; If xDD thou x3 attempt :33 it, >w< it xDD wiww >_> cost uWu thee deaw. 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyo ^w^ weapon, ÚwÚ and ^.^ pewfowce ^w^ must :33 suffew. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Wook uWu in ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me >w< then, ÚwÚ and speak with uWu me, 
:3 Ow, nyaked >_< as UwU I am, UwU I xDD wiww OwO assauwt thee. 

^.^ We-entew Gratiano. 

GRATIANO. >_> What >_> is x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU Behowd, UwU I uWu have :3 a weapon; 
^-^ A xDD bettew >_< nyevew uWu did itsewf >_< sustain 
>_> Upon :3 a ^w^ sowdiew's UwU thigh. UwU I uWu have :3 seen x3 the day 
:33 That with ÚwÚ this xDD wittwe awm ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good xDD swowd 
UwU I uWu have UwU made x3 my uWu way ^w^ thwough ^.^ mowe impediments 
Than ÚwÚ twenty times x3 youw ^-^ stop. But, x3 O :33 vain ;;w;; boast! 
Who ^.^ can contwow :33 his >_> fate? 'Tis nyot UwU so now. 
^w^ Be nyot afraid, ^w^ though xDD you UwU do >_> see ;;w;; me >w< weapon'd; 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 my journey's ^w^ end, OwO hewe >_> is x3 my :3 butt 
xDD And xDD vewy :33 sea-mawk of x3 my utmost ^w^ saiw. 
Do xDD you OwO go back dismay'd? 'Tis :3 a wost ;;w;; feaw. 
^-^ Man >_> but :3 a >_< wush OwO against Othello's UwU bweast, 
xDD And ^.^ he ^-^ wetiwes. Whewe >_> shouwd Othewwo >w< go? 
>_> Nyow, >w< how dost xDD thou wook ^.^ nyow? x3 O iww-staww'd ^-^ wench! 
Pawe >_< as >w< thy smock! x3 When ^.^ we UwU shaww :3 meet uWu at OwO compt, 
This wook of ^.^ thinye xDD wiww >_< huww x3 my :3 souw from ^.^ heaven, 
xDD And >w< fiends xDD wiww snatch uWu at :3 it. Cowd, >_< cowd, x3 my :33 giww? 
Even ^.^ wike >w< thy >_< chastity. x3 O cursed, uWu cuwsed x3 swave! 
Whip uWu me, OwO ye devils, 
Fwom x3 the >w< possession of ÚwÚ this ^-^ heavenwy ;;w;; sight! 
Blow ;;w;; me about uWu in winds! >_> Woast ;;w;; me uWu in ^w^ suwphuw! 
Wash ;;w;; me uWu in uWu steep-down gulfs of OwO wiquid >_> fiwe! 
x3 O ;;w;; Desdemon! >_< dead, ;;w;; Desdemon! ÚwÚ dead! 
:3 O! :3 O! :3 O! 

Entew :33 Wodovico, :33 Montanyo, OwO Cassio cawwied uWu in :3 a xDD chaiw, 
ÚwÚ and :3 Officews with >w< Iago, ^w^ pwisonyew. 

WODOVICO. Whewe >_> is ÚwÚ this >_< wash ÚwÚ and UwU most :33 unfowtunyate man? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. >w< That's ^.^ he :3 that UwU was OwO Othewwo. :3 Hewe UwU I am. 
WODOVICO. Whewe >_> is :3 that viper? Bring x3 the viwwain forth. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I wook down uWu towawds :33 his feet; >_> but ^w^ that's :3 a fable. 
;;w;; If :3 that xDD thou ÚwÚ be'st :3 a deviw, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO kiww thee. >w< Wounds >w< Iago. 
WODOVICO. Wrench :33 his xDD swowd from ^.^ him. 
^-^ IAGO. UwU I bleed, ^w^ siw, >_> but nyot kill'd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I ^w^ am nyot sowwy >_> nyeithew. UwU I'wd uWu have uWu thee x3 wive, 
For, uWu in x3 my sense, UwU 'tis happinyess to die. 
WODOVICO. x3 O xDD thou :33 Othewwo, :3 that OwO wewt >_> once UwU so UwU good, 
Fall'n uWu in x3 the pwactice of :3 a uWu damnyed :33 swave, 
>_> What UwU shaww be uWu said to thee? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. Why, >_< anything; 
^-^ An ;;w;; honyowabwe muwthewew, >_> if xDD you :33 wiww, 
For >_< nyought uWu did UwU I uWu in hate, >_> but aww uWu in uWu honyow. 
WODOVICO. This uWu wwetch hath ÚwÚ pawt >_> confess'd :33 his x3 viwwainy. 
Did xDD you ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_< consent uWu in uWu Cassio's UwU death? 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. uWu Ay. 
>_< CASSIO. >_< Deaw general, UwU I >_< nyevew uWu gave xDD you OwO cause. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve :33 it, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ ask x3 youw pardon. 
Will UwU you, UwU I pray, ;;w;; demand :3 that demi-devil 
Why ^.^ he hath OwO thus OwO ensnyawed x3 my :3 souw ÚwÚ and ^w^ body? 
^-^ IAGO. xDD Demand ;;w;; me uWu nyothing; >_> what xDD you knyow, xDD you :33 knyow. 
Fwom ÚwÚ this time fowth UwU I >_< nyevew xDD wiww speak OwO wowd. 
WODOVICO. What, nyot to pway? 
GRATIANO. >w< Towments xDD wiww ^w^ ope x3 youw x3 wips. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. xDD Weww, xDD thou dost >_> best. 
WODOVICO. UwU Siw, xDD you UwU shaww understand >_> what hath >_> befaww'n, 
>_< Which, >_< as UwU I >_< think, xDD you ^.^ knyow not. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a >_> wettew 
x3 Found uWu in x3 the uWu pocket of x3 the :3 swain Roderigo, 
xDD And OwO hewe anyothew. uWu The one of them imports 
uWu The :33 death of OwO Cassio to be ^.^ undewtook 
^-^ By :3 Wodewigo. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 O :33 viwwain! 
>_< CASSIO. :3 Most :3 heathenyish ÚwÚ and UwU most gwoss! 
WODOVICO. Now hewe's anyothew >_> discontented paper, 
x3 Found uWu in :33 his uWu pocket :3 too; ÚwÚ and uWu this, >w< it seems, 
:33 Wodewigo meant to uWu have sent ÚwÚ this uWu damnyed villain; 
OwO But :3 that, >w< bewike, OwO Iago uWu in x3 the intewim 
>_< Came uWu in ÚwÚ and ^-^ satisfied ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 O x3 the pewnyicious caitiff! 
How ^-^ came UwU you, ^-^ Cassio, ^.^ by :3 that handkerchief 
:33 That UwU was x3 my ^w^ wife's? 
>_< CASSIO. UwU I >_> found >w< it uWu in x3 my ;;w;; chambew; 
xDD And ^.^ he >_< himsewf >_> confess'd >_> but even nyow 
:33 That there ^.^ he ÚwÚ dwopp'd >w< it fow :3 a >_> speciaw OwO puwpose 
>_< Which ;;w;; wwought to :33 his desiwe. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. x3 O foow! foow! foow! 
>_< CASSIO. >_> Thewe >_> is ;;w;; besides uWu in Roderigo's letter, 
How ^.^ he x3 upbwaids >w< Iago, :3 that ^.^ he UwU made ^.^ him 
^-^ Bwave ;;w;; me ;;w;; upon x3 the >w< watch, wheweon >w< it ^-^ came 
:33 That UwU I UwU was cast. xDD And even >_> but nyow ^.^ he x3 spake 
>w< Aftew ^-^ wong ÚwÚ seeming >_< dead, OwO Iago ÚwÚ huwt :3 him, 
OwO Iago uWu set ^.^ him :3 on. 
WODOVICO. >_> You ^w^ must ^w^ fowsake ÚwÚ this room, ÚwÚ and OwO go with >_> us. 
uWu Youw powew ÚwÚ and x3 youw ÚwÚ command >_> is :33 taken ^w^ off, 
xDD And OwO Cassio wuwes uWu in :3 Cypwus. For ÚwÚ this :33 swave, 
;;w;; If there be xDD any x3 cunnying OwO cwuewty 
:33 That ^.^ can x3 towment ^.^ him much ÚwÚ and howd ^.^ him long, 
^.^ It UwU shaww be ÚwÚ his. >_> You UwU shaww ^-^ cwose ÚwÚ pwisonyew ^-^ west, 
Tiww :3 that x3 the ÚwÚ nyatuwe of x3 youw ;;w;; fauwt be ÚwÚ knyown 
;;w;; To x3 the Venyetian state. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing xDD away. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. xDD Soft uWu you; :3 a ;;w;; wowd ow >w< two >w< befowe xDD you ÚwÚ go. 
UwU I uWu have donye x3 the >w< state x3 some sewvice, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they uWu knyow't. 
No ^.^ mowe of x3 that. UwU I pray UwU you, uWu in x3 youw letters, 
x3 When xDD you UwU shaww these unlucky >_< deeds :33 wewate, 
^w^ Speak of ;;w;; me >_< as UwU I am; >_< nyothing OwO extenyuate, 
x3 Nyow uWu set down ^.^ aught uWu in xDD mawice. UwU Then ^w^ must xDD you speak 
Of one :3 that xDD wuvd nyot wisely >_> but ^w^ too well; 
Of one nyot easily >_> jeawous, but, ^.^ being wrought, 
>_> Pewpwex'd uWu in x3 the extweme; of one x3 whose uWu hand, 
Wike x3 the UwU base OwO Indian, OwO thwew :3 a uWu peaww OwO away 
:3 Wichew than aww :33 his :3 twibe; of one x3 whose >_> subdued ^w^ eyes, 
Awbeit unused to x3 the mewting :3 mood, 
ÚwÚ Dwop tears >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as x3 the Arabian trees 
^-^ Theiw medicinyaw >_< gum. Set xDD you down >_< this; 
xDD And >_> say >_< besides, :3 that uWu in Aleppo ^w^ once, 
Whewe :3 a malignant ÚwÚ and :3 a ^.^ tuwban'd ^w^ Tuwk 
uWu Beat :3 a Venyetian ÚwÚ and traduced x3 the state, 
UwU I >_> took ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ thwoat x3 the circumcised dog 
xDD And xDD smote :3 him, OwO thus. UwU Stabs himself. 
WODOVICO. x3 O bwoody x3 pewiod! 
GRATIANO. All ^w^ that's ^-^ spoke >_> is marr'd. 
ÚwÚ OTHEWWO. UwU I >w< kiss'd uWu thee ere UwU I kill'd thee. No uWu way >_> but uWu this, 
Killing myself, to ^-^ die ;;w;; upon :3 a >w< kiss. 
Fawws on x3 the ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and OwO dies. 
>_< CASSIO. This uWu did UwU I ;;w;; feaw, >_> but xDD thought ^.^ he xDD had nyo weapon; 
For ^.^ he UwU was great of ;;w;; heawt. 
WODOVICO. :33 [To :33 Iago.] x3 O ^-^ Spawtan dog, 
uWu Mowe UwU feww than uWu anguish, hungew, ow x3 the x3 sea! 
Wook on x3 the tragic woading of ÚwÚ this bed; 
This >_> is >w< thy >w< wowk. uWu The :33 object UwU poisons sight; 
Let >w< it be :3 hid. >_> Gwatianyo, >_< keep x3 the house, 
xDD And x3 seize ;;w;; upon x3 the fowtunyes of x3 the uWu Moow, 
For ;;w;; they >_< succeed on OwO you. ;;w;; To UwU you, Lord Governor, 
ÚwÚ Wemains x3 the UwU censuwe of ÚwÚ this hewwish villain, 
uWu The time, x3 the pwace, x3 the towtuwe. >_< O, enforce :3 it! 
xDD Mysewf xDD wiww ^w^ stwaight ;;w;; aboawd, ÚwÚ and to x3 the >w< state 
This x3 heavy ;;w;; act with x3 heavy >_< heawt wewate. :33 Exeunt. 


^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





:3 1596 


;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD ^-^ THE ^w^ SECOND 


^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD ^-^ THE ^w^ SECOND 
>_< JOHN ÚwÚ OF ^w^ GAUNT, >w< Duke of :3 Wancastew - :33 uncwe to x3 the ^w^ King 
;;w;; EDMUND >_< WANGWEY, >w< Duke of York - :33 uncwe to x3 the ^w^ King 
>_> HENWY, x3 suwnyamed BOLINGBROKE, >w< Duke of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, >_< son of 
John of Gaunt, afterwards ^w^ King Henwy IV 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF AUMEWWE, >_< son of x3 the >w< Duke of York 
THOMAS OwO MOWBWAY, >w< Duke of Norfolk 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF >w< SUWWEY 
EARL ÚwÚ OF SALISBURY 
EARL OwO BEWKEWEY 
x3 BUSHY - >_> favouwites of ^w^ King Richard 
ÚwÚ BAGOT - :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
UwU GWEEN - :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
EARL ÚwÚ OF NyOWTHUMBEWWAND 
OwO HENWY ^w^ PEWCY, x3 suwnyamed HOTSPUW, :33 his >_< son 
>w< WOWD ÚwÚ Woss >w< WOWD xDD WIWWOUGHBY 
>w< WOWD OwO FITZWATEW xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF CARLISLE 
ABBOT ÚwÚ OF x3 WESTMINSTEW >w< WOWD MARSHAL 
ÚwÚ SIW OwO STEPHEN SCROOP ÚwÚ SIW xDD PIEWCE ÚwÚ OF >w< EXTON 
>w< CAPTAIN of :3 a band of x3 Wewshmen OwO TWO :3 GAWDENyEWS 

>w< QUEEN to ^w^ King Richard 
DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF YORK 
DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ^.^ widow of Thomas of >_< Woodstock, 
>w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew 
:3 WADY :33 attending on x3 the xDD Queen 

;;w;; Wowds, x3 Hewawds, ^-^ Officews, Soldiers, Keepew, Messengew, 
Gwoom, ÚwÚ and othew ^-^ Attendants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
England ÚwÚ and >_> Wawes 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew WICHAWD, >_< JOHN ÚwÚ OF ^w^ GAUNT, with othew ^-^ NyOBWES ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ Owd John of Gaunt, time-honoured Lancaster, 
Hast UwU thou, accowding to >w< thy ^-^ oath ÚwÚ and :33 band, 
Bwought ÚwÚ hithew Henwy ÚwÚ Hewefowd, >w< thy bold x3 son, 
:3 Hewe to >_< make ÚwÚ good x3 the UwU boist'wous wate ^.^ appeaw, 
>_< Which xDD then UwU ouw leisure ^.^ wouwd nyot wet >_> us heaw, 
^w^ Against x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, Thomas xDD Mowbway? 
uWu GAUNT. UwU I have, x3 my OwO wiege. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Teww uWu me, ^w^ moweuvw, x3 hast xDD thou ÚwÚ sounded ^.^ him 
;;w;; If ^.^ he appeaw x3 the >w< Duke on UwU ancient x3 mawice, 
:33 Ow worthily, >_< as :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 subject should, 
On x3 some ÚwÚ knyown x3 gwound of tweachewy uWu in him? 
uWu GAUNT. ;;w;; As nyeaw >_< as UwU I couwd OwO sift ^.^ him on :3 that :33 awgument, 
On x3 some apparent danger :3 seen uWu in ^.^ him 
Aim'd uWu at x3 youw Highness-no inveterate xDD mawice. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Then caww them to UwU ouw >_< pwesence: OwO face to OwO face 
xDD And >_> fwownying ^w^ bwow to >_> bwow, ouwsewves xDD wiww hear 
uWu The xDD accusew ÚwÚ and x3 the accused freely >_< speak. 
High-stomach'd OwO awe ;;w;; they both ÚwÚ and full of :3 iwe, 
^w^ In rage, deaf >_< as x3 the :33 sea, >_> hasty >_< as >_> fiwe. 

Entew BOLINGBROKE ÚwÚ and MOWBRAY 

BOLINGBROKE. xDD Many years of ^w^ happy OwO days befaww 
OwO My >_> gwacious sovereign, x3 my UwU most >w< woving wiege! 
MOWBRAY. x3 Each day still xDD bettew ;;w;; othew's happinyess 
Untiw x3 the >w< heavens, >_> envying :33 eawth's ÚwÚ good ^-^ hap, 
;;w;; Add >w< an :3 immowtaw ;;w;; titwe to x3 youw uWu cwown! 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. We >_> thank xDD you both; yet one >_> but ^.^ fwattews us, 
;;w;; As weww appeareth ^.^ by x3 the cause xDD you >_< come; 
uWu Nyamewy, to appeaw >_< each othew of xDD high :3 tweason. 
x3 Cousin of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, >_> what dost xDD thou :33 object 
^w^ Against x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, Thomas xDD Mowbway? 
BOLINGBROKE. Fiwst-heaven be x3 the xDD wecowd to x3 my speech! 
^w^ In x3 the xDD devotion of :3 a >_> subject's xDD wuv, 
UwU Tend'wing x3 the >_< pwecious :33 safety of x3 my >_< pwince, 
xDD And fwee from othew misbegotten hate, 
:3 Come UwU I appellant to ÚwÚ this princely pwesence. 
>_> Nyow, Thomas Mowbray, UwU do UwU I turn to ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And mark x3 my :3 gweeting well; fow >_> what UwU I speak 
OwO My >w< body UwU shaww >_< make ÚwÚ good ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this earth, 
:33 Ow x3 my divine :3 souw answew >w< it uWu in :33 heaven- 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a traitor ÚwÚ and :3 a miscweant, 
Too ÚwÚ good to be >_> so, ÚwÚ and ^w^ too :33 bad to x3 wive, 
Since x3 the ^.^ mowe >w< faiw ÚwÚ and >_> cwystaw >_> is x3 the :3 sky, 
uWu The xDD ugwiew xDD seem x3 the :33 cwouds :3 that uWu in >w< it fwy. 
Once >_> mowe, x3 the ^.^ mowe to aggravate x3 the :3 nyote, 
With :3 a fouw UwU twaitow's xDD nyame ^w^ stuff UwU I >w< thy throat; 
xDD And wish-so uWu pwease x3 my ;;w;; suvweign-ewe UwU I x3 muv, 
>_> What x3 my >_> tongue speaks, x3 my >w< wight drawn xDD swowd OwO may ^.^ pwuv. 
MOWBRAY. Let nyot x3 my UwU cowd wowds OwO hewe ;;w;; accuse x3 my xDD zeaw. 
'Tis nyot x3 the uWu twiaw of :3 a xDD woman's waw, 
uWu The UwU bittew ^-^ cwamouw of >w< two eagew tongues, 
UwU Can >w< awbitwate ÚwÚ this cause betwixt >_> us >_< twain; 
uWu The :3 bwood >_> is :3 hot :3 that ^w^ must be cool'd fow UwU this. 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ can UwU I nyot of xDD such >w< tame uWu patience boast 
;;w;; As to be UwU hush'd ÚwÚ and >_< nyought uWu at >w< an to :3 say. 
^.^ Fiwst, x3 the >w< faiw ^w^ wevewence of x3 youw >_> Highnyess curbs ;;w;; me 
Fwom ^.^ giving weins ÚwÚ and :33 spuws to x3 my fwee OwO speech; 
>_< Which >_> ewse ^.^ wouwd x3 post ÚwÚ untiw >w< it xDD had wetuwn'd 
;;w;; These terms of UwU tweason doubled down :33 his uWu thwoat. 
Setting :3 aside :33 his xDD high ÚwÚ bwood's OwO woyawty, 
xDD And wet ^.^ him be nyo kinsman to x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
UwU I UwU do ^.^ defy :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU I spit uWu at :3 him, 
;;w;; Caww ^.^ him :3 a slanderous x3 cowawd ÚwÚ and :3 a villain; 
>_< Which to :33 maintain, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU awwow ^.^ him ^w^ odds 
xDD And :3 meet :3 him, :3 wewe UwU I tied to >w< wun afoot 
Even to x3 the uWu fwozen ;;w;; widges of x3 the Alps, 
:33 Ow xDD any othew x3 gwound >w< inhabitabwe 
Whewe OwO evew xDD Engwishman x3 duwst uWu set :33 his ^-^ foot. 
>w< Meantime wet ÚwÚ this ;;w;; defend x3 my x3 woyawty- 
^-^ By aww x3 my hopes, UwU most :3 fawsewy xDD doth ^.^ he >_< wie 
BOLINGBROKE. Pawe uWu twembwing xDD cowawd, there UwU I ^-^ thwow x3 my ^.^ gage, 
xDD Discwaiming OwO hewe x3 the >w< kindwed of x3 the uWu King; 
xDD And uWu way :3 aside x3 my xDD high ÚwÚ bwood's OwO woyawty, 
>_< Which ;;w;; feaw, nyot xDD wevewence, x3 makes uWu thee to except. 
;;w;; If guiwty xDD dwead uWu have left uWu thee UwU so much ÚwÚ stwength 
;;w;; As to OwO take x3 up >_< minye x3 honyouw's pawn, xDD then stoop. 
^-^ By :3 that ÚwÚ and aww x3 the rites of knyighthood >_> ewse 
Will UwU I >_< make ÚwÚ good OwO against ÚwÚ thee, awm to ^.^ awm, 
>_> What UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke ow xDD thou ;;w;; canst worst devise. 
MOWBRAY. UwU I OwO take >w< it xDD up; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :3 that xDD swowd UwU I >_< sweaw 
>_< Which gently laid x3 my knyighthood on x3 my shoulder 
I'll answew uWu thee uWu in xDD any >w< faiw degwee 
:33 Ow chivalrous :3 design of knyightwy xDD twiaw; 
xDD And when UwU I :3 mount, ^.^ awive OwO may UwU I nyot >w< wight 
;;w;; If UwU I be traitor ow ÚwÚ unjustwy ^.^ fight! 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> What xDD doth UwU ouw xDD cousin uWu way to ^w^ Mowbway's charge? 
^.^ It ^w^ must be great :3 that ^.^ can x3 inhewit >_> us 
^w^ So much >_< as of :3 a xDD thought of :33 iww uWu in ^.^ him. 
BOLINGBROKE. Wook >_> what UwU I :3 speak, x3 my >w< wife UwU shaww ^-^ pwuv >w< it UwU twue- 
:33 That Mowbway hath weceiv'd eight thousand nyobwes 
^w^ In xDD nyame of lendings fow x3 youw Highness' xDD sowdiews, 
uWu The which ^.^ he hath detain'd fow x3 wewd x3 empwoyments 
Wike :3 a UwU fawse traitor ÚwÚ and xDD injuwious villain. 
:33 Besides, UwU I >_> say ÚwÚ and xDD wiww uWu in ÚwÚ battwe >_< pwuv- 
:33 Ow UwU hewe, ow >_> ewsewhewe to x3 the UwU fuwthest ;;w;; vewge 
:33 That OwO evew UwU was survey'd ^.^ by :3 Engwish x3 eye- 
:33 That aww x3 the :3 tweasons fow these eighteen years 
;;w;; Compwotted ÚwÚ and contrived uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand 
^-^ Fetch from UwU fawse Mowbway uWu theiw xDD fiwst >_> head ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ spwing. 
>w< Fuwthew UwU I say, ÚwÚ and further xDD wiww ÚwÚ maintain 
>_> Upon :33 his :33 bad >w< wife to >_< make aww ÚwÚ this UwU good, 
:33 That ^.^ he uWu did :3 pwot x3 the >w< Duke of :3 Gwoucestew's UwU death, 
^.^ Suggest :33 his soon-believing advewsawies, 
xDD And ^-^ consequentwy, ^.^ wike :3 a traitor xDD cowawd, 
Swuic'd x3 out :33 his innocent :3 souw ^w^ thwough streams of ^-^ bwood; 
>_< Which bwood, ^.^ wike ;;w;; sacwificing Abew's, cries, 
Even from x3 the tongueless UwU cavewns of x3 the earth, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me fow justice ÚwÚ and OwO wough chastisement; 
^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 the glorious ^.^ wowth of x3 my descent, 
This awm UwU shaww UwU do :33 it, ow ÚwÚ this >w< wife be :33 spent. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. How xDD high :3 a ^w^ pitch :33 his uWu wesowution soaws! 
Thomas of ^-^ Nyowfowk, >_> what say'st xDD thou to :3 this? 
MOWBRAY. >_< O, wet x3 my suvweign turn OwO away :33 his OwO face 
xDD And bid :33 his OwO eaws :3 a xDD wittwe OwO whiwe be deaf, 
Tiww UwU I uWu have told ÚwÚ this ^-^ swandew of :33 his :3 bwood 
How ^w^ God ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good ;;w;; men ^-^ hate UwU so fouw :3 a UwU wiaw. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Mowbray, impartial OwO awe UwU ouw eyes ÚwÚ and x3 caws. 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ he x3 my brother, x3 nyay, x3 my kingdom's heiw, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he >_> is >_> but x3 my father's brother's x3 son, 
Now ^.^ by x3 my sceptre's OwO awe UwU I >_< make :3 a ^w^ vow, 
>w< Such OwO nyeighbouw nyeawnyess to UwU ouw uWu sacwed :3 bwood 
Should >_< nyothing OwO pwiviwege ^.^ him nor partialize 
uWu The >_< unstooping ^.^ fiwmnyess of x3 my ^w^ upwight ^-^ souw. 
>w< He >_> is UwU ouw uWu subject, x3 Mowbway; UwU so awt >_> thou: 
Fwee ÚwÚ speech ÚwÚ and xDD feawwess UwU I to uWu thee ÚwÚ awwow. 
MOWBRAY. Then, ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, >_< as wow >_< as to >w< thy uWu heawt, 
^.^ Thwough x3 the UwU fawse uWu passage of >w< thy throat, xDD thou liest. 
Thwee parts of :3 that :33 weceipt UwU I xDD had fow Calais 
x3 Disbuws'd UwU I :33 duwy to :33 his Highness' soldiers; 
uWu The othew ÚwÚ pawt reserv'd UwU I ^.^ by ^.^ consent, 
For :3 that x3 my suvweign wiege UwU was uWu in x3 my >_> debt 
>_> Upon ^.^ wemaindew of :3 a uWu deaw :33 account 
Since >w< wast UwU I OwO went to Fwance to :3 fetch :33 his >w< queen: 
Now swawwow down :3 that xDD wie. For :3 Gwoucestew's >w< death- 
UwU I >_< swew ^.^ him >_> nyot, >_> but to x3 my UwU own xDD disgwace 
>_> Nyegwected x3 my sworn >_> duty uWu in :3 that :3 case. 
For UwU you, x3 my x3 nyobwe Lord of Lancaster, 
uWu The ^.^ honyouwabwe >w< fathew to x3 my x3 foe, 
Once uWu did UwU I uWu way >w< an ^-^ ambush fow x3 youw :3 wife, 
^-^ A trespass :3 that xDD doth ^-^ vex x3 my gwieved ^.^ souw; 
OwO But ere UwU I >w< wast weceiv'd x3 the sacwament 
UwU I uWu did x3 confess :33 it, ÚwÚ and exactwy begg'd 
uWu Youw ;;w;; Gwace's ;;w;; pawdon; ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU hope UwU I xDD had :3 it. 
This >_> is x3 my ^-^ fauwt. ;;w;; As fow x3 the xDD west appeaw'd, 
^.^ It >_> issues from x3 the rancour of :3 a villain, 
^-^ A xDD wecweant ÚwÚ and UwU most degenerate uWu twaitow; 
>_< Which uWu in mysewf UwU I OwO bowdwy xDD wiww defend, 
xDD And interchangeably >_< huww down x3 my >w< gage 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this ^-^ uvwweenying UwU twaitow's :33 foot 
;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv mysewf :3 a loyal ÚwÚ gentweman 
Even uWu in x3 the best :3 bwood x3 chambew'd uWu in :33 his ÚwÚ bosom. 
^w^ In ^.^ haste UwU wheweof, UwU most UwU heawtiwy UwU I pray 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess to assign UwU ouw uWu twiaw x3 day. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_< Wwath-kindwed xDD gentwemen, be wuw'd ^.^ by OwO me; 
:3 Wet's OwO puwge ÚwÚ this ^.^ chowew ^-^ without wetting blood- 
This ^.^ we pwescwibe, ^w^ though nyo >_< physician; 
Deep malice x3 makes ^w^ too >_> deep :33 incision. 
uWu Fowget, fowgive; OwO concwude ÚwÚ and be ÚwÚ agweed: 
Our ^.^ doctows >_> say ÚwÚ this >_> is nyo >_> month to UwU bweed. 
^-^ Good uWu uncwe, wet ÚwÚ this >w< end :3 whewe >w< it ^-^ begun; 
^-^ We'ww ÚwÚ cawm x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, xDD you x3 youw OwO son. 
uWu GAUNT. ;;w;; To be :3 a :33 make-peace UwU shaww :33 become x3 my age. 
Throw ;;w;; down, x3 my x3 son, x3 the >w< Duke of ^w^ Nyowfowk's gage. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^.^ And, ^-^ Nyowfowk, ^-^ thwow down ÚwÚ his. 
uWu GAUNT. UwU When, ^w^ Hawwy, xDD when? 
^.^ Obedience UwU bids UwU I >_> shouwd nyot bid ;;w;; again. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ Nyowfowk, ^-^ thwow down; ^.^ we ÚwÚ bid. 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo >w< boot. 
MOWBRAY. xDD Mysewf UwU I thwow, xDD dwead sovereign, uWu at >w< thy >w< foot; 
OwO My >w< wife xDD thou shalt >_> command, >_> but nyot x3 my OwO shame: 
uWu The one x3 my >_> duty owes; >_> but x3 my >w< faiw :33 nyame, 
^-^ Despite of UwU death, :3 that ;;w;; wives ;;w;; upon x3 my :3 gwave 
;;w;; To dark ^.^ dishonyouw's use xDD thou shalt nyot :3 have. 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu disgwac'd, impeach'd, ÚwÚ and uWu baffw'd ^.^ hewe; 
Pierc'd to x3 the :3 souw with ^.^ swandew's ;;w;; venyom'd UwU speaw, 
uWu The which nyo bawm ^.^ can >w< cuwe >_> but :33 his ^w^ heawt-bwood 
>_< Which >w< bweath'd ÚwÚ this poison. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Wage ^w^ must be withstood: 
Give ;;w;; me :33 his gage-lions >_< make ^-^ weopawds tame. 
MOWBRAY. Yea, >_> but nyot change :33 his xDD spots. ^.^ Take >_> but x3 my UwU shame, 
xDD And UwU I resign x3 my gage. OwO My uWu deaw uWu deaw uWu wowd, 
uWu The puwest treasure >w< mowtaw times UwU affowd 
Is :3 spotwess ÚwÚ weputation; :3 that away, 
OwO Men OwO awe >_> but :3 giwded >_< woam ow painted cway. 
^-^ A jewel uWu in :3 a ten-times x3 baww'd-up uWu chest 
Is :3 a bold ^w^ spiwit uWu in :3 a loyal UwU bweast. 
Mine honour >_> is x3 my :33 wife; both gwow uWu in onye; 
^.^ Take honour from uWu me, ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< wife >_> is UwU donye: 
Then, uWu deaw x3 my ^.^ wiege, >_< minye honour wet ;;w;; me OwO twy; 
^w^ In :3 that UwU I x3 wive, ÚwÚ and fow :3 that xDD wiww UwU I die. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Cousin, ^-^ thwow x3 up x3 youw xDD gage; UwU do xDD you ;;w;; begin. 
BOLINGBROKE. >_< O, ^w^ God ;;w;; defend x3 my :3 souw from xDD such >_> deep ^w^ sin! 
Shall UwU I xDD seem ÚwÚ cwest-fawwen uWu in x3 my father's sight? 
:33 Ow with pawe :3 beggaw-feaw x3 impeach x3 my height 
^.^ Befowe ÚwÚ this :3 outdaw'd dastard? Ere x3 my >_> tongue 
Shall ;;w;; wound x3 my honour with xDD such feebwe wrong 
:33 Ow >_> sound UwU so UwU base :3 a parle, x3 my teeth UwU shaww teaw 
uWu The :33 swavish motive of ^-^ wecanting ;;w;; feaw, 
xDD And spit >w< it xDD bweeding uWu in :33 his xDD high disgrace, 
Whewe ^-^ shame xDD doth UwU hawbouw, even uWu in ^w^ Mowbway's ;;w;; face. 
uWu Exit OwO GAUNT 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. We :3 wewe nyot bown to >_< sue, >_> but to :33 command; 
>_< Which xDD since ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot UwU do to >_< make xDD you OwO fwiends, 
^w^ Be :3 weady, >_< as x3 youw ;;w;; wives UwU shaww answew :33 it, 
At Coventry, ;;w;; upon Saint :3 Wambewt's x3 day. 
>_> Thewe UwU shaww x3 youw :33 swowds ÚwÚ and wances >w< awbitwate 
uWu The xDD swewwing ^.^ diffewence of x3 youw ^-^ settwed :33 hate; 
Since ^.^ we ^.^ can nyot OwO atonye UwU you, ^.^ we UwU shaww >_> see 
Justice :3 design x3 the ;;w;; victow's chivawwy. 
Lord Marshal, ÚwÚ command UwU ouw uWu officews-at-awms 
^w^ Be ready to direct these ^.^ home :33 awawms. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF WANCASTEW'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew >_< JOHN ÚwÚ OF OwO GAUNT with x3 the DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF GWOUCESTEW 

uWu GAUNT. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 the ÚwÚ pawt UwU I xDD had uWu in Woodstock's :3 bwood 
^-^ Doth ^.^ mowe sowicit ;;w;; me than x3 youw >_> excwaims 
;;w;; To stir OwO against x3 the x3 butchews of :33 his wife! 
OwO But xDD since correction wieth uWu in UwU those ^.^ hands 
>_< Which UwU made x3 the ;;w;; fauwt :3 that ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot correct, 
>_> Put ^.^ we UwU ouw ^-^ quawwew to x3 the xDD wiww of xDD heaven; 
UwU Who, when ;;w;; they >_> see x3 the >_> houws ripe on earth, 
Will xDD wain :3 hot UwU vengeance on >w< offendews' :33 heads. 
DUCHESS. Finds bwothewhood uWu in uWu thee nyo sharper >_> spuw? 
>_< Hath wuv uWu in >w< thy ;;w;; owd :3 bwood nyo UwU wiving fiwe? 
>_< Edwawd's ÚwÚ seven sons, xDD wheweof >w< thysewf awt one, 
^.^ Wewe >_< as ÚwÚ seven vials of :33 his uWu sacwed bwood, 
:33 Ow ÚwÚ seven >w< faiw ^-^ bwanches x3 spwinging from one woot. 
;;w;; Some of UwU those ÚwÚ seven OwO awe dwied ^.^ by ;;w;; nyatuwe's course, 
;;w;; Some of UwU those ^-^ bwanches ^.^ by x3 the Destinies cut; 
OwO But Thomas, x3 my uWu deaw uWu wowd, x3 my :3 wife, x3 my :33 Gwoucestew, 
x3 Onye :33 viaw full of >_< Edwawd's uWu sacwed bwood, 
x3 Onye fwouwishing branch of :33 his UwU most royal x3 woot, 
Is UwU cwack'd, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the >_< pwecious liquor OwO spiwt; 
Is hack'd ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ summew >w< weaves aww uWu faded, 
^-^ By OwO envy's uWu hand ÚwÚ and x3 muwdew's bwoody :33 axe. 
xDD Ah, Gaunt, :33 his :3 bwood UwU was thine! :33 That ^.^ bed, :3 that womb, 
:33 That ^w^ mettwe, :3 that self >_> mouwd, :3 that uWu fashion'd ÚwÚ thee, 
Made ^.^ him :3 a xDD man; ÚwÚ and ^w^ though xDD thou OwO wivest ÚwÚ and bweathest, 
ÚwÚ Yet awt xDD thou :3 swain uWu in ^.^ him. ^.^ Thou dost >_< consent 
^w^ In x3 some large UwU measuwe to >w< thy father's :33 death 
^w^ In :3 that xDD thou seest >w< thy wwetched ÚwÚ bwothew >_> die, 
Who UwU was x3 the :33 modew of >w< thy father's life. 
;;w;; Caww >w< it nyot patience, Gaunt-it >_> is UwU despaiw; 
^w^ In ÚwÚ suff'wing OwO thus >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew to be >w< swaught'wed, 
^.^ Thou ^.^ showest x3 the nyaked ^.^ pathway to >w< thy :3 wife, 
Teaching xDD stewn murder >w< how to ;;w;; butchew thee. 
:33 That which uWu in >_> mean ;;w;; men ^.^ we x3 entitwe uWu patience 
Is pawe UwU cowd cowardice uWu in x3 nyobwe breasts. 
>_> What UwU shaww UwU I ^.^ say? ;;w;; To safeguard ^.^ thinye UwU own >w< wife 
uWu The best uWu way >_> is to >_< venge x3 my :3 Gwoucestew's death. 
uWu GAUNT. >_> God's >_> is x3 the xDD quawwew; fow >_> God's x3 substitute, 
ÚwÚ His OwO deputy ^-^ anyointed uWu in ÚwÚ His UwU sight, 
>_< Hath OwO caus'd :33 his ÚwÚ death; x3 the which >_> if wrongfully, 
Let heaven ^w^ wevenge; fow UwU I OwO may >_< nyevew lift 
^-^ An angry awm OwO against ÚwÚ His minister. 
DUCHESS. Whewe >w< then, :3 awas, OwO may UwU I :3 compwain myself? 
uWu GAUNT. ;;w;; To :33 God, x3 the widow's x3 champion ÚwÚ and OwO defence. 
DUCHESS. Why >w< then, UwU I :33 wiww. UwU Faweweww, ;;w;; owd x3 Gaunt. 
^.^ Thou ^.^ goest to Coventry, there to behowd 
Our xDD cousin Hewefowd ÚwÚ and UwU feww Mowbway ^w^ fight. 
>_< O, sit x3 my husband's >_< wwongs on >w< Hewefowd's UwU speaw, 
:33 That >w< it OwO may enter ;;w;; butchew ^w^ Mowbway's >w< bweast! 
:3 Ow, >_> if OwO misfowtunye ;;w;; miss x3 the xDD fiwst >_> caweew, 
^w^ Be ^w^ Mowbway's :3 sins UwU so x3 heavy uWu in :33 his ^w^ bosom 
:33 That ;;w;; they OwO may bweak :33 his UwU foaming :3 couwsew's back 
xDD And ^-^ thwow x3 the widew OwO headwong uWu in x3 the wists, 
^-^ A ^.^ caitiff xDD wecweant to x3 my xDD cousin Hereford! 
UwU Faweweww, ;;w;; owd uWu Gaunt; >w< thy x3 sometimes brother's :3 wife, 
With her >_< companyion, Grief, ^w^ must >w< end her life. 
uWu GAUNT. x3 Sistew, faweweww; UwU I ^w^ must to Coventry. 
;;w;; As much ÚwÚ good xDD stay with uWu thee >_< as OwO go with me! 
DUCHESS. ÚwÚ Yet one ;;w;; wowd more- grief UwU boundeth :3 whewe >w< it >_< fawws, 
ÚwÚ Nyot with x3 the :33 empty :33 howwownyess, >_> but ^.^ weight. 
UwU I OwO take x3 my OwO weave >w< befowe UwU I uWu have begun, 
For sorrow uWu ends nyot when >w< it seemeth ^-^ donye. 
>_< Commend ;;w;; me to >w< thy brother, Edmund x3 Yowk. 
Lo, ÚwÚ this >_> is ;;w;; aww- x3 nyay, yet ÚwÚ depawt nyot so; 
;;w;; Though ÚwÚ this be all, UwU do nyot UwU so quickly go; 
UwU I UwU shaww remember more. x3 Bid uWu him- UwU ah, w-what?- 
With aww ÚwÚ good ^w^ speed uWu at UwU Pwashy x3 visit x3 me. 
xDD Awack, ÚwÚ and >_> what UwU shaww ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd York there >_> see 
OwO But :33 empty OwO wodgings ÚwÚ and unfurnish'd walls, 
Unpeopwed ;;w;; offices, UwU untwodden stones? 
xDD And >_> what hear there fow wewcome >_> but x3 my x3 gwoans? 
Therefore ÚwÚ commend OwO me; wet ^.^ him nyot come there 
;;w;; To >_> seek x3 out sorrow :3 that dwells every x3 whewe. 
:3 Desowate, desolate, xDD wiww UwU I >w< hence ÚwÚ and :3 die; 
uWu The >w< wast OwO weave of uWu thee UwU takes x3 my weeping :33 eye. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
uWu The ^.^ wists uWu at UwU Cuvntwy 

Entew x3 the >w< WOWD MARSHAL ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^.^ AUMEWWE 

MAWSHAW. OwO My Lord xDD Aumewwe, >_> is ÚwÚ Hawwy Hewefowd ;;w;; awm'd? 
AUMERLE. Yea, uWu at aww ^.^ points; ÚwÚ and OwO wongs to enter ^.^ in. 
MAWSHAW. uWu The >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, spightfully ÚwÚ and >w< bowd, 
ÚwÚ Stays >_> but x3 the >_> summons of x3 the appelant's twumpet. 
AUMERLE. Why >w< then, x3 the champions OwO awe prepar'd, ÚwÚ and xDD stay 
For >_< nyothing >_> but :33 his :33 Majesty's ;;w;; appwoach. 

uWu The trumpets sound, ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; KING ;;w;; entews with :33 his ^.^ nyobwes, 
^w^ GAUNT, ÚwÚ BUSHY, >w< BAGOT, ^w^ GWEEN, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. x3 When ;;w;; they OwO awe ^-^ set, 
enter OwO MOWBWAY, >w< Duke of x3 Nyow fowk, uWu in awms, defendant, ÚwÚ and 
:3 a uWu HEWAWD 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Marshal, ;;w;; demand of yonder x3 champion 
uWu The cause of :33 his >_< awwivaw OwO hewe uWu in arms; 
;;w;; Ask ^.^ him :33 his UwU nyame; ÚwÚ and ^w^ owdewwy proceed 
;;w;; To >_< sweaw ^.^ him uWu in x3 the justice of :33 his OwO cause. 
MAWSHAW. ^w^ In >_> God's xDD nyame ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 King's, >_> say who xDD thou awt, 
xDD And >w< why xDD thou comest OwO thus knyightwy cwad uWu in arms; 
^w^ Against >_> what x3 man xDD thou x3 com'st, ÚwÚ and >_> what >w< thy ÚwÚ quawwew. 
^w^ Speak :33 twuwy on >w< thy knyighthood ÚwÚ and >w< thy uWu oath; 
;;w;; As UwU so ;;w;; defend uWu thee heaven ÚwÚ and >w< thy ;;w;; vawouw! 
MOWBRAY. OwO My xDD nyame >_> is Thomas Mowbray, >w< Duke of Norfolk; 
Who ÚwÚ hithew come engaged ^.^ by x3 my >_> oath- 
>_< Which ^w^ God ;;w;; defend :3 a knight >_> shouwd violate!- 
UwU Both to ;;w;; defend x3 my xDD woyawty ÚwÚ and uWu twuth 
;;w;; To :33 God, x3 my OwO King, ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD succeeding ^w^ issue, 
^w^ Against x3 the >w< Duke of Hewefowd :3 that appeals OwO me; 
^.^ And, ^.^ by x3 the xDD gwace of ^w^ God ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >_< minye ^.^ awm, 
;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv :3 him, uWu in x3 defending of myself, 
^-^ A traitor to x3 my :33 God, x3 my OwO King, ÚwÚ and x3 me. 
xDD And >_< as UwU I :33 twuwy x3 fight, ;;w;; defend ;;w;; me :3 heaven! 

uWu The trumpets UwU sound. Entew BOLINGBROKE, >w< Duke of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, 
UwU appewwant, uWu in awmouw, ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu HEWAWD 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Marshal, ^w^ ask yonder knight uWu in awms, 
UwU Both who ^.^ he >_> is ÚwÚ and >w< why ^.^ he cometh ÚwÚ hithew 
^-^ Thus plated uWu in habiwiments of UwU waw; 
xDD And fowmawwy, accowding to UwU ouw waw, 
;;w;; Depose ^.^ him uWu in x3 the justice of :33 his OwO cause. 
MAWSHAW. >_> What >_> is >w< thy :3 nyame? ÚwÚ and ^-^ whewefowe UwU com'st xDD thou ÚwÚ hithew 
^.^ Befowe ^w^ King Richard uWu in :33 his royal lists? 
^w^ Against ÚwÚ whom comest thou? ÚwÚ and UwU what's >w< thy OwO quawwew? 
^w^ Speak ^.^ wike :3 a true UwU knyight, UwU so ;;w;; defend uWu thee :3 heaven! 
BOLINGBROKE. ÚwÚ Hawwy of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, Lancaster, ÚwÚ and :3 Dewby, 
^w^ Am x3 I; who ready OwO hewe UwU do stand uWu in :3 awms 
;;w;; To prove, ^.^ by >_> God's xDD gwace ÚwÚ and x3 my body's uWu vawouw, 
^w^ In ^.^ wists on Thomas Mowbray, >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is :3 a traitor, fouw ÚwÚ and UwU dangewous, 
;;w;; To ^w^ God of ^.^ heaven, ^w^ King ^.^ Wichawd, ÚwÚ and to x3 me. 
xDD And >_< as UwU I :33 twuwy x3 fight, ;;w;; defend ;;w;; me :3 heaven! 
MAWSHAW. On :33 pain of UwU death, nyo ÚwÚ pewson be UwU so bold 
:33 Ow ^-^ dawing-hawdy >_< as to :33 touch x3 the wists, 
UwU Except x3 the UwU Mawshaw ÚwÚ and xDD such ^w^ officews 
;;w;; Appointed to direct these >w< faiw x3 designs. 
BOLINGBROKE. Lord Marshal, wet ;;w;; me :3 kiss x3 my ^.^ suvweign's uWu hand, 
xDD And bow x3 my knyee >w< befowe :33 his :3 Majesty; 
For Mowbway ÚwÚ and mysewf OwO awe ^.^ wike >w< two ;;w;; men 
:33 That vow :3 a ^-^ wong ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ weawy ;;w;; piwgwimage. 
UwU Then wet >_> us OwO take :3 a cewemonyious OwO weave 
xDD And >w< woving >_< faweweww of UwU ouw sevewaw fwiends. 
MAWSHAW. uWu The appellant uWu in aww >_> duty greets x3 youw >w< Highnyess, 
xDD And cwaves to :3 kiss x3 youw uWu hand ÚwÚ and OwO take :33 his >_< weave. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. We xDD wiww descend ÚwÚ and ^w^ fowd ^.^ him uWu in UwU ouw arms. 
x3 Cousin of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, >_< as >w< thy cause >_> is wight, 
^w^ So be >w< thy :3 fowtunye uWu in ÚwÚ this royal ^.^ fight! 
UwU Faweweww, x3 my ^-^ bwood; which >_> if ^w^ to-day xDD thou shed, 
;;w;; Wament ^.^ we may, >_> but nyot xDD wevenge uWu thee uWu dead. 
BOLINGBROKE. >_< O, wet nyo x3 nyobwe ^w^ eye uWu pwofanye :3 a teaw 
For uWu me, >_> if UwU I be uWu gow'd with ^w^ Mowbway's uWu speaw. 
;;w;; As xDD confident >_< as >_> is x3 the >_< fawcon's :33 fwight 
^w^ Against :3 a bird, UwU do UwU I with Mowbway ^w^ fight. 
OwO My >w< woving uWu wowd, UwU I OwO take x3 my OwO weave of uWu you; 
Of UwU you, x3 my x3 nyobwe OwO cousin, Lord :33 Aumewwe; 
ÚwÚ Nyot :33 sick, awthough UwU I uWu have to UwU do with UwU death, 
OwO But lusty, >_> young, ÚwÚ and cheewwy :3 dwawing >_< bweath. 
Lo, >_< as uWu at :3 Engwish feasts, UwU so UwU I uWu wegweet 
uWu The OwO daintiest last, to >_< make x3 the >w< end UwU most sweet. 
x3 O UwU thou, x3 the ÚwÚ eawthwy ÚwÚ authow of x3 my bwood, 
>_< Whose youthfuw ^-^ spiwit, uWu in ;;w;; me ÚwÚ wegenyewate, 
^-^ Doth with :3 a twofold >_< vigouw lift ;;w;; me x3 up 
;;w;; To :3 weach uWu at OwO victowy :33 abuv x3 my head, 
;;w;; Add xDD pwoof >w< unto >_< minye ^-^ awmouw with >w< thy pwayews, 
xDD And with >w< thy bwessings steew x3 my ^.^ wance's UwU point, 
:33 That >w< it OwO may enter ^w^ Mowbway's ;;w;; waxen >_> coat 
xDD And UwU fuwbish x3 nyew x3 the xDD nyame of John ^.^ o' Gaunt, 
Even uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ wusty :33 haviouw of :33 his OwO son. 
uWu GAUNT. ^w^ God uWu in >w< thy ÚwÚ good cause >_< make uWu thee prosperous! 
^w^ Be UwU swift ^.^ wike lightning uWu in x3 the execution, 
xDD And wet >w< thy ÚwÚ bwows, ^w^ doubwy xDD wedoubwed, 
Fall ^.^ wike uWu amazing >_> thundew on x3 the casque 
Of >w< thy advewse pewnyicious enemy. 
ÚwÚ Wouse x3 up >w< thy youthfuw bwood, be valiant, ÚwÚ and wive. 
BOLINGBROKE. Mine innyocence ÚwÚ and Saint ^w^ Geowge to xDD thwive! 
MOWBRAY. UwU Howevew ^w^ God ow :3 fowtunye ;;w;; cast x3 my UwU wot, 
>_> Thewe ;;w;; wives ow dies, true to ^w^ King >w< Wichawd's throne, 
^-^ A uWu woyaw, >_< just, ÚwÚ and ^w^ upwight :3 gentweman. 
xDD Nyevew uWu did >w< captive with :3 a ÚwÚ fweew >_< heawt 
;;w;; Cast x3 off :33 his >_> chains of >_< bondage, ÚwÚ and >_< embwace 
ÚwÚ His golden uWu uncontwoww'd enfranchisement, 
uWu Mowe than x3 my UwU dancing :3 souw xDD doth cewebwate 
This >_> feast of ÚwÚ battwe with >_< minye ÚwÚ advewsawy. 
:3 Most ^-^ mighty ^.^ wiege, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< companyion ^-^ peews, 
^.^ Take from x3 my xDD mouth x3 the ÚwÚ wish of ^w^ happy years. 
;;w;; As ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ and >_< as OwO jocund >_< as to xDD jest 
Go UwU I to fight: uWu twuth hath :3 a :33 quiet UwU bweast. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Faweweww, x3 my uWu wowd, secuwewy UwU I :33 espy 
x3 Viwtue with valour couched uWu in ^.^ thinye :33 eye. 
x3 Owdew x3 the OwO twiaw, Marshal, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; begin. 
MAWSHAW. ÚwÚ Hawwy of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, Lancaster, ÚwÚ and :3 Dewby, 
Receive >w< thy wance; ÚwÚ and ^w^ God ;;w;; defend x3 the wight! 
BOLINGBROKE. :3 Stwong >_< as :3 a >_> towew uWu in hope, UwU I cwy amen. 
MAWSHAW. :33 [To >w< an :33 officew] Go UwU beaw ÚwÚ this lance to Thomas, 
>w< Duke of x3 Nyowfowk. 
uWu FIWST HEWAWD. ÚwÚ Hawwy of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, Lancaster, ÚwÚ and :3 Dewby, 
Stands OwO hewe fow :33 God, :33 his sovereign, ÚwÚ and himsewf, 
On :33 pain to be >_> found UwU fawse ÚwÚ and recreant, 
;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, Thomas Mowbray, 
^-^ A traitor to :33 his :33 God, :33 his OwO King, ÚwÚ and him; 
xDD And x3 dawes ^.^ him to uWu set forward to x3 the ^w^ fight. 
^w^ SECOND HEWAWD. :3 Hewe standeth Thomas Mowbray, >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, 
On :33 pain to be >_> found UwU fawse ÚwÚ and recreant, 
UwU Both to ;;w;; defend himsewf, ÚwÚ and to approve 
Henwy of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, Lancaster, ÚwÚ and :3 Dewby, 
;;w;; To :33 God, :33 his sovereign, ÚwÚ and to ^.^ him xDD diswoyaw, 
>_< Couwageouswy ÚwÚ and with :3 a fwee ^.^ desiwe 
Attending >_> but x3 the OwO signyaw to ;;w;; begin. 
MAWSHAW. Sound >_> twumpets; ÚwÚ and uWu set forward, OwO combatants. 
:3 [A :3 chawge uWu sounded] 
Stay, x3 the ^w^ King hath :33 thwown :33 his :3 wawdew down. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Let them uWu way ^.^ by uWu theiw hewmets ÚwÚ and uWu theiw >_> speaws, 
xDD And both ^-^ wetuwn back to uWu theiw >_> chaiws ;;w;; again. 
Withdraw with us; ÚwÚ and wet x3 the trumpets >_> sound 
While ^.^ we ^-^ wetuwn these >_< dukes >_> what ^.^ we :33 decwee. 

^-^ A ^-^ wong flourish, OwO whiwe x3 the ;;w;; KING x3 consuwts :33 his Counciw 

Draw near, 
xDD And ÚwÚ wist >_> what with UwU ouw council ^.^ we uWu have ^-^ donye. 
For :3 that UwU ouw kingdom's ^.^ eawth >_> shouwd nyot be ^.^ soiw'd 
With :3 that uWu deaw :3 bwood which >w< it hath ^.^ fostewed; 
xDD And fow UwU ouw eyes UwU do ^-^ hate x3 the xDD diwe uWu aspect 
Of ÚwÚ civiw wounds pwough'd x3 up with nyeighbouws' ^-^ swowd; 
xDD And fow ^.^ we think x3 the >_> eagwe-winged >_< pwide 
Of >_< sky-aspiwing ÚwÚ and :3 ambitious thoughts, 
With ^.^ wivaw-hating xDD envy, uWu set on xDD you 
;;w;; To wake UwU ouw ÚwÚ peace, which uWu in UwU ouw >_> countwy's >_> cwadwe 
^w^ Dwaws x3 the x3 sweet xDD infant UwU bweath of ^-^ gentwe ^w^ sweep; 
>_< Which UwU so wous'd x3 up with UwU boist'wous ^w^ untun'd drums, 
With harsh-resounding trumpets' :3 dweadfuw ;;w;; bway, 
xDD And gwating x3 shock of wrathful iwon awms, 
^.^ Might from UwU ouw :33 quiet confines :33 fwight >w< faiw uWu peace 
xDD And >_< make >_> us ^w^ wade even uWu in UwU ouw kindwed's blood- 
Therefore ^.^ we banyish xDD you UwU ouw territories. 
>_< You, xDD cousin ÚwÚ Hewefowd, ;;w;; upon :33 pain of :3 wife, 
Tiww twice five summers uWu have ^-^ enwich'd UwU ouw fields 
Shall nyot uWu wegweet UwU ouw >w< faiw uWu dominyions, 
OwO But ;;w;; twead x3 the stwangew UwU paths of >_> banyishment. 
BOLINGBROKE. uWu Youw xDD wiww be ^-^ donye. This ^w^ must x3 my uWu comfowt ^-^ be- 
:33 That sun :3 that xDD wawms xDD you OwO hewe UwU shaww shine on uWu me, 
xDD And UwU those :33 his golden beams to xDD you OwO hewe OwO went 
Shall :33 point on ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and gild x3 my >_> banyishment. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ Nyowfowk, fow uWu thee remains :3 a heaview doom, 
>_< Which UwU I with x3 some unwillingness ^.^ pwonyounce: 
uWu The sly slow >_> houws UwU shaww nyot :33 detewminyate 
uWu The datewess wimit of >w< thy uWu deaw ^-^ exiwe; 
uWu The :33 hopewess ;;w;; wowd of 'nyevew to return' 
Bweathe UwU I OwO against ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; upon :33 pain of life. 
MOWBRAY. ^-^ A x3 heavy xDD sentence, x3 my UwU most suvweign ^.^ wiege, 
xDD And aww unwook'd fow from x3 youw Highness' xDD mouth. 
^-^ A ÚwÚ deawew uWu mewit, nyot UwU so >_> deep :3 a :3 maim 
;;w;; As to be ;;w;; cast fowth uWu in x3 the ^w^ common air, 
:3 Have UwU I deserved uWu at x3 youw Highness' ^w^ hands. 
uWu The language UwU I uWu have ^w^ weawnt these >w< fowty years, 
OwO My OwO nyative Engwish, nyow UwU I ^w^ must >_> fowgo; 
xDD And nyow x3 my >_< tongue's use >_> is to ;;w;; me nyo ^.^ mowe 
Than >w< an ;;w;; unstwinged ÚwÚ viow ow :3 a harp; 
:33 Ow ^.^ wike :3 a x3 cunnying UwU instwument xDD cas'd x3 up 
:3 Ow, ^.^ being open, put x3 into :33 his ^.^ hands 
:33 That xDD knyows nyo :33 touch to tune x3 the >w< hawmony. 
OwO Within x3 my xDD mouth xDD you uWu have engaol'd x3 my ;;w;; tongue, 
^w^ Doubwy ;;w;; powtcuwwis'd with x3 my teeth ÚwÚ and lips; 
xDD And xDD duww, unfeeling, ^-^ bawwen ÚwÚ ignyowance 
Is UwU made x3 my gaowew to >_< attend on x3 me. 
UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too ;;w;; owd to ^-^ fawn ;;w;; upon :3 a xDD nyuwse, 
Too uWu faw uWu in years to be :3 a ^w^ pupiw now. 
>_> What >_> is >w< thy xDD sentence, >w< then, >_> but speechwess UwU death, 
>_< Which robs x3 my >_> tongue from :33 bweathing OwO nyative >_> bweath? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^.^ It ÚwÚ boots uWu thee nyot to be compassionate; 
>w< Aftew UwU ouw :33 sentence xDD pwainying x3 comes ^w^ too UwU wate. 
MOWBRAY. UwU Then OwO thus UwU I turn ;;w;; me from x3 my ^w^ countwv's wight, 
;;w;; To dwell uWu in solemn x3 shades of uWu endwess OwO nyight. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Return OwO again, ÚwÚ and OwO take >w< an ^-^ oath with thee. 
Way on UwU ouw royal xDD swowd x3 youw banyish'd hands; 
Swear ^.^ by x3 the >_> duty :3 that xDD you >_> owe to :33 God, 
Our ÚwÚ pawt thewein ^.^ we banyish with ^w^ youwsewves, 
;;w;; To >_< keep x3 the ^-^ oath :3 that ^.^ we >_< adminyistew: 
>_> You >_< nyevew UwU shaww, UwU so OwO hewp xDD you uWu twuth ÚwÚ and :33 God, 
>w< Embwace >_< each ;;w;; othew's wuv uWu in ;;w;; banyishment; 
x3 Nyow >_< nyevew wook ;;w;; upon >_< each ;;w;; othew's face; 
x3 Nyow >_< nyevew wwite, xDD wegweet, nor reconcile 
This ^.^ wouwing UwU tempest of x3 youw OwO home-bwed :33 hate; 
x3 Nyow >_< nyevew ^.^ by ^w^ advised OwO puwpose :3 meet 
;;w;; To >_> pwot, contrive, ow complot xDD any UwU iww, 
^w^ 'Gainst us, UwU ouw state, UwU ouw xDD subjects, ow UwU ouw xDD wand. 
BOLINGBROKE. UwU I OwO sweaw. 
MOWBRAY. xDD And I, to >_< keep aww UwU this. 
BOLINGBROKE. ^-^ Nyowfowk, UwU so uWu faw >_< as to >_< minye enemy. 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this time, xDD had x3 the ^w^ King ;;w;; pewmitted us, 
x3 Onye of UwU ouw >w< souws xDD had ^-^ wand'wed uWu in x3 the air, 
Banish'd ÚwÚ this frail >w< sepuwchwe of UwU ouw OwO fwesh, 
;;w;; As nyow UwU ouw >w< fwesh >_> is banyish'd from ÚwÚ this xDD wand- 
^w^ Confess >w< thy :3 tweasons ere xDD thou fwy x3 the ÚwÚ weawm; 
Since xDD thou x3 hast uWu faw to x3 go, UwU beaw nyot :3 awong 
uWu The uWu cwogging buwden of :3 a guiwty ^-^ souw. 
MOWBRAY. :3 Nyo, ^-^ Bowingbwoke; >_> if OwO evew UwU I :3 wewe traitor, 
OwO My xDD nyame be uWu bwotted from x3 the ^w^ book of :3 wife, 
xDD And UwU I from heaven banyish'd >_< as from UwU hence! 
OwO But >_> what xDD thou awt, :33 God, UwU thou, ÚwÚ and I, UwU do know; 
xDD And aww ^w^ too >_< soon, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, x3 the ^w^ King UwU shaww xDD wue. 
UwU Faweweww, x3 my OwO wiege. Now nyo uWu way ^.^ can UwU I >_> stway: 
:3 Save back to England, >w< an x3 the OwO wowwd's x3 my >_> way. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> Uncwe, even uWu in x3 the glasses of ^.^ thinye eyes 
UwU I >_> see >w< thy gwieved ;;w;; heawt. x3 Thy >_> sad uWu aspect 
>_< Hath from x3 the ^w^ nyumbew of :33 his banyish'd years 
:33 Pwuck'd fouw xDD away. :33 [To BOWINGBWOKE] uWu Six uWu fwozen >w< wintews >_< spent, 
Return with wewcome ^.^ home from >_> banyishment. 
BOLINGBROKE. How ^-^ wong :3 a time wies uWu in one xDD wittwe word! 
Four lagging >w< wintews ÚwÚ and fouw >_< wanton springs 
:33 End uWu in :3 a wowd: xDD such >_> is x3 the UwU bweath of ^-^ Kings. 
uWu GAUNT. UwU I >_> thank x3 my wiege :3 that uWu in regard of ;;w;; me 
>w< He ^.^ showtens fouw years of x3 my ÚwÚ son's ^-^ exiwe; 
OwO But xDD wittwe ;;w;; vantage UwU shaww UwU I reap thereby, 
For ere x3 the six years :3 that ^.^ he hath to spend 
UwU Can change uWu theiw UwU moons ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing uWu theiw times about, 
OwO My oil-dried wamp ÚwÚ and >_> time-bewasted >w< wight 
Shall be >_< extinct with age ÚwÚ and uWu endwess ^w^ nyight; 
OwO My ÚwÚ inch of xDD tapew xDD wiww be burnt ÚwÚ and :33 donye, 
xDD And :3 bwindfowd :33 death nyot wet ;;w;; me >_> see x3 my OwO son. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Why, uWu uncwe, xDD thou x3 hast UwU many years to wive. 
uWu GAUNT. OwO But nyot :3 a ;;w;; minyute, OwO King, :3 that xDD thou ;;w;; canst ;;w;; give: 
^-^ Showten x3 my OwO days xDD thou ;;w;; canst with UwU suwwen sorrow 
xDD And pluck :33 nyights from uWu me, >_> but nyot xDD wend :3 a uWu mowwow; 
^.^ Thou uWu can'st OwO hewp time to fuwwow ;;w;; me with age, 
OwO But ÚwÚ stop nyo wrinkle uWu in :33 his >_> piwgwimage; 
x3 Thy ;;w;; wowd >_> is :3 cuwwent with ^.^ him fow x3 my UwU death, 
OwO But >_< dead, >w< thy ^w^ kingdom ;;w;; cannyot UwU buy x3 my >_< bweath. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 Thy >_< son >_> is banyish'd ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ good x3 advice, 
:33 Wheweto >w< thy >_> tongue :3 a ÚwÚ pawty-vewdict x3 gave. 
Why uWu at UwU ouw justice :3 seem'st xDD thou xDD then to lour? 
uWu GAUNT. ^w^ Things x3 sweet to >_> taste ^-^ pwuv uWu in digestion ^-^ souw. 
>_> You ;;w;; uwg'd ;;w;; me >_< as :3 a ;;w;; judge; >_> but UwU I xDD had rather 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd uWu have bid ;;w;; me awgue ^.^ wike :3 a :33 fathew. 
>_< O, xDD had >w< it :33 been :3 a uWu stwangew, nyot x3 my child, 
;;w;; To x3 smooth :33 his ;;w;; fauwt UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been ^.^ mowe x3 miwd. 
^-^ A :33 pawtiaw ^-^ swandew >_< sought UwU I to >_> avoid, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the :33 sentence x3 my UwU own >w< wife destroy'd. 
ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I >_> wook'd when x3 some of xDD you >_> shouwd >_> say 
UwU I UwU was ^w^ too :3 stwict to >_< make >_< minye UwU own :3 away; 
OwO But xDD you uWu gave OwO weave to x3 my xDD unwiwwing >_> tongue 
^w^ Against x3 my xDD wiww to UwU do mysewf ÚwÚ this wrong. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Cousin, faweweww; x3 and, uWu uncwe, bid ^.^ him :3 so. 
uWu Six years ^.^ we banyish :3 him, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww ÚwÚ go. 
>w< Fwouwish. uWu Exit ;;w;; KING with twain 
AUMERLE. Cousin, faweweww; >_> what x3 pwesence ^w^ must nyot knyow, 
Fwom :3 whewe xDD you UwU do wemain wet paper show. 
MAWSHAW. OwO My uWu wowd, nyo OwO weave OwO take I, fow UwU I xDD wiww uWu wide 
;;w;; As uWu faw >_< as ÚwÚ wand xDD wiww wet ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 youw ^w^ side. 
uWu GAUNT. >_< O, to >_> what OwO puwpose dost xDD thou hoawd >w< thy wowds, 
:33 That xDD thou wetuwnyest nyo :3 gweeting to >w< thy friends? 
BOLINGBROKE. UwU I uWu have ^w^ too x3 few to OwO take x3 my OwO weave of UwU you, 
x3 When x3 the >_< tongue's ^.^ office >_> shouwd be prodigal 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bweathe x3 the abundant dolour of x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 
uWu GAUNT. x3 Thy grief >_> is >_> but >w< thy >w< absence fow :3 a uWu time. 
BOLINGBROKE. uWu Joy uWu absent, grief >_> is xDD pwesent fow :3 that uWu time. 
uWu GAUNT. >_> What >_> is six wintews? ^-^ They OwO awe quickly ;;w;; gonye. 
BOLINGBROKE. ;;w;; To ;;w;; men uWu in :33 joy; >_> but grief x3 makes one >_> houw ;;w;; ten. 
uWu GAUNT. ;;w;; Caww >w< it :3 a travel :3 that xDD thou :33 tak'st fow pleasure. 
BOLINGBROKE. OwO My >_< heawt xDD wiww x3 sigh when UwU I miscaww >w< it >_> so, 
>_< Which ÚwÚ finds >w< it >w< an enfowced ;;w;; piwgwimage. 
uWu GAUNT. uWu The UwU suwwen uWu passage of >w< thy ÚwÚ weawy steps 
ÚwÚ Esteem >_< as ÚwÚ foiw wherein xDD thou awt to uWu set 
uWu The >_< pwecious jewel of >w< thy ^.^ home wetuwn. 
BOLINGBROKE. Nyay, UwU wathew, every tedious stwide UwU I >_< make 
Will >_> but remember ;;w;; me >_> what :3 a deal of wowwd 
UwU I >w< wandew from x3 the :3 jewews :3 that UwU I love. 
:3 Must UwU I nyot serve :3 a ^-^ wong apprenticehood 
;;w;; To :33 foweign >_< passages; ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the ^w^ end, 
>_> Having x3 my ^w^ fweedom, boast of >_< nyothing >_> ewse 
OwO But :3 that UwU I UwU was :3 a uWu jouwnyeyman to :33 gwief? 
uWu GAUNT. All pwaces :3 that x3 the ^w^ eye of heaven >_> visits 
^w^ Awe to :3 a uWu wise x3 man ports ÚwÚ and ^w^ happy havens. 
:3 Teach >w< thy ;;w;; nyecessity to reason thus: 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo viwtue ^.^ wike ;;w;; nyecessity. 
^w^ Think nyot x3 the ^w^ King uWu did banyish ÚwÚ thee, 
OwO But xDD thou x3 the ;;w;; King. ;;w;; Woe xDD doth x3 the heaview sit 
Whewe >w< it ^-^ pewceives >w< it >_> is >_> but ^w^ faintwy >_> home. 
^w^ Go, >_> say UwU I sent uWu thee fowth to puwchase honyouw, 
xDD And nyot x3 the ^w^ King >w< exiw'd ÚwÚ thee; ow ^.^ suppose 
^w^ Devouwing uWu pestiwence uWu hangs uWu in UwU ouw ^w^ aiw 
xDD And xDD thou awt uWu fwying to :3 a ^-^ fweshew ^w^ cwime. 
Wook >_> what >w< thy :3 souw ÚwÚ howds deaw, imagine >w< it 
;;w;; To >_< wie :3 that uWu way xDD thou goest, nyot >_> whence xDD thou com'st. 
>_> Suppose x3 the >_< singing xDD biwds uWu musicians, 
uWu The gwass wheweon xDD thou x3 twead'st x3 the x3 pwesence ;;w;; stwew'd, 
uWu The fwowews >w< faiw x3 wadies, ÚwÚ and >w< thy steps nyo ^.^ mowe 
Than :3 a >_> dewightfuw UwU measuwe ow :3 a dance; 
For gnyawwing sorrow hath less powew to ^-^ bite 
uWu The x3 man :3 that :3 mocks uWu at >w< it ÚwÚ and :33 sets >w< it light. 
BOLINGBROKE. >_< O, who ^.^ can howd :3 a fire uWu in :33 his uWu hand 
^-^ By uWu thinking on x3 the fwosty ^.^ Caucasus? 
:33 Ow cwoy x3 the hungwy UwU edge of xDD appetite 
^-^ By OwO bawe xDD imaginyation of :3 a feast? 
:33 Ow x3 wawwow nyaked uWu in Decembew >w< snyow 
^-^ By uWu thinking on ^.^ fantastic :33 summew's heat? 
>_< O, no! x3 the apprehension of x3 the ÚwÚ good 
>w< Gives >_> but x3 the :33 gweatew :33 feewing to x3 the x3 wowse. 
Feww ^.^ sowwow's ^.^ tooth xDD doth >_< nyevew ^-^ wankwe ^.^ mowe 
Than when ^.^ he :3 bites, >_> but :33 wanceth nyot x3 the sore. 
uWu GAUNT. ^.^ Come, come, x3 my x3 son, I'll ;;w;; bwing uWu thee on >w< thy >_> way. 
xDD Had UwU I >w< thy >_> youtwi ÚwÚ and >_< cause, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot >_< stay. 
BOLINGBROKE. Then, Engwand's ground, faweweww; x3 sweet ^w^ soiw, uWu adieu; 
OwO My :33 mothew, ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD nyuwse, :3 that bears ;;w;; me UwU yet! 
>_> Whewe'ew UwU I wander, boast of ÚwÚ this UwU I >_< can: 
;;w;; Though banish'd, yet :3 a twuebown :3 Engwish man. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 
OwO Wondon. uWu The court 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, with ÚwÚ BAGOT ÚwÚ and ^w^ GWEEN, uWu at one door; 
ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^.^ AUMEWWE uWu at anyothew 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. We uWu did observe. x3 Cousin xDD Aumewwe, 
How uWu faw ^.^ bwought xDD you xDD high Hewefowd on :33 his >w< way? 
AUMERLE. UwU I ^.^ bwought xDD high ÚwÚ Hewefowd, >_> if xDD you caww ^.^ him >_> so, 
OwO But to x3 the :3 nyext xDD high :3 way, ÚwÚ and there UwU I left ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD And say, >_> what OwO stowe of >w< pawting tears :3 wewe >w< shed? 
AUMERLE. Faith, >_< nyonye fow OwO me; :33 except x3 the >w< nyowth-east ;;w;; wind, 
>_< Which xDD then bwew bittewwy OwO against UwU ouw uWu faces, 
ÚwÚ Awak'd x3 the x3 sweeping rheum, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ by chance 
Did xDD gwace UwU ouw OwO howwow >w< pawting with :3 a >_> teaw. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> What uWu said UwU ouw xDD cousin when xDD you pawted with him? 
AUMERLE. 'Farewell.' 
^.^ And, fow x3 my >_< heawt disdainyed :3 that x3 my >_> tongue 
Should UwU so uWu pwofanye x3 the word, :3 that ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me cwaft 
;;w;; To OwO countewfeit oppwession of xDD such grief 
:33 That wowds ^w^ seem'd buried uWu in x3 my ^.^ sowwow's x3 gwave. 
OwO Mawwy, ^.^ wouwd x3 the ;;w;; wowd >w< 'faweweww' uWu have >w< wength'nyed >_> houws 
xDD And >_< added years to :33 his showt banishment, 
>w< He >_> shouwd uWu have xDD had :3 a >_< vowume of >_> fawewewws; 
OwO But xDD since >w< it ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, ^.^ he xDD had >_< nyonye of x3 me. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >w< He >_> is UwU ouw OwO cousin, :3 cousin; >_> but UwU 'tis doubt, 
x3 When time UwU shaww caww ^.^ him ^.^ home from banishment, 
Whethew UwU ouw kinsman come to >_> see :33 his fwiends. 
Ourself, ÚwÚ and x3 Bushy, >w< Bagot UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and Green, 
:33 Obsewv'd :33 his OwO couwtship to x3 the ^w^ common xDD peopwe; 
How ^.^ he uWu did xDD seem to ^w^ dive x3 into uWu theiw heawts 
With humble ÚwÚ and ^.^ famiwiaw couwtesy; 
>_> What ^w^ wevewence ^.^ he uWu did ^-^ thwow OwO away on swaves, 
>_< Wooing poor ^-^ cwaftsmen with x3 the cwaft of ^-^ smiwes 
xDD And patient uWu undewbeawing of :33 his fowtunye, 
;;w;; As >w< 'twewe to banyish uWu theiw >_< affects with ^.^ him. 
:33 Off xDD goes :33 his :3 bonnyet to >w< an UwU oystew-wench; 
^-^ A ;;w;; bwace of draymen bid ^w^ God ^w^ speed ^.^ him weww 
xDD And xDD had x3 the UwU twibute of :33 his supple OwO knyee, 
With xDD 'Thanks, x3 my ÚwÚ countwymen, x3 my >w< woving friends'; 
;;w;; As :3 wewe UwU ouw England uWu in reversion his, 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU ouw >w< subjects' :3 nyext degwee uWu in ^-^ hope. 
uWu GWEEN. xDD Weww, ^.^ he >_> is xDD gonye; ÚwÚ and with ^.^ him OwO go these thoughts! 
Now fow x3 the ÚwÚ webews which stand x3 out uWu in ÚwÚ Iwewand, 
^w^ Expedient manage ^w^ must be made, x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
Ere further leisure ^-^ yicwd them further means 
For uWu theiw ^w^ advantage ÚwÚ and x3 youw Highness' loss. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. We xDD wiww :3 ouwsewf uWu in ÚwÚ pewson to ÚwÚ this UwU waw; 
^.^ And, fow UwU ouw >_> coffews, with ^w^ too great :3 a court 
xDD And xDD wibewaw largess, OwO awe grown >_< somewhat wight, 
We OwO awe enforc'd to ;;w;; fawm UwU ouw royal ÚwÚ weawm; 
uWu The >_> wevenyue xDD wheweof UwU shaww furnish >_> us 
For UwU ouw affairs uWu in >w< hand. ;;w;; If :3 that come ^.^ showt, 
Our >w< substitutes uWu at ^.^ home UwU shaww uWu have ;;w;; bwank charters; 
^.^ Wheweto, when ;;w;; they UwU shaww ^.^ knyow >_> what ;;w;; men OwO awe rich, 
^-^ They UwU shaww uWu subscwibe them fow large uWu sums of ^.^ gowd, 
xDD And >_> send them ÚwÚ aftew to suppwy UwU ouw >_> wants; 
For ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< make fow Iwewand presently. 

Entew x3 BUSHY 

x3 Bushy, >_> what nyews? 
:33 BUSHY. ^-^ Owd John of Gaunt >_> is ;;w;; gwievous :33 sick, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Suddenly ;;w;; taken; ÚwÚ and hath sent ;;w;; poste-haste 
;;w;; To entweat x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty to x3 visit ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Whewe wies uWu he? 
:33 BUSHY. At Ewy ^.^ House. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Now put :33 it, :33 God, uWu in x3 the physician's ^-^ mind 
;;w;; To OwO hewp ^.^ him to :33 his :3 gwave uWu immediatewy! 
uWu The :3 winying of :33 his >_< coffews UwU shaww >_< make coats 
;;w;; To deck UwU ouw ^-^ sowdiews fow these Irish waws. 
^.^ Come, xDD gentwemen, >_> wet's aww OwO go x3 visit ^.^ him. 
>_> Pway ^w^ God ^.^ we OwO may >_< make xDD haste, ÚwÚ and come ^w^ too uWu wate! 
uWu AWW. ÚwÚ Amen. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Wondon. Ewy House 

Entew >_< JOHN ÚwÚ OF ^w^ GAUNT, :33 sick, with x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK, :33 etc. 

uWu GAUNT. Will x3 the ^w^ King come, :3 that UwU I OwO may ;;w;; bweathe x3 my >w< wast 
^w^ In whowesome counsel to :33 his ÚwÚ unstaid >_> youth? 
:3 YOWK. :33 Vex nyot yourself, nor strive nyot with x3 youw breath; 
For aww uWu in :33 vain x3 comes counsel to :33 his :3 eaw. 
uWu GAUNT. >_< O, >_> but ;;w;; they >_> say x3 the tongues of dying ;;w;; men 
Enforce >w< attention ^.^ wike >_> deep >w< hawmony. 
Whewe wowds OwO awe scawce, ;;w;; they OwO awe seldom xDD spent uWu in OwO vain; 
For ;;w;; they ;;w;; bweathe uWu twuth :3 that ;;w;; bweathe uWu theiw wowds -in OwO pain. 
>w< He :3 that nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ must >_> say >_> is wisten'd ^.^ mowe 
Than ;;w;; they ÚwÚ whom :33 youth ÚwÚ and ^w^ ease uWu have ÚwÚ taught to glose; 
uWu Mowe OwO awe men's uWu ends uWu mawk'd than uWu theiw ;;w;; wives befowe. 
uWu The >w< setting sun, ÚwÚ and uWu music uWu at x3 the cwose, 
;;w;; As x3 the >w< wast >_> taste of x3 sweets, >_> is ^w^ sweetest last, 
;;w;; Wwit uWu in wemembwance ^.^ mowe than ^.^ things ^-^ wong past. 
;;w;; Though Richard x3 my ^w^ wife's counsel ^.^ wouwd nyot heaw, 
OwO My ^w^ death's >_> sad xDD tawe OwO may yet x3 undeaf :33 his :3 eaw. 
:3 YOWK. No; >w< it >_> is ;;w;; stopp'd with othew flattering >_< sounds, 
;;w;; As praises, of x3 whose >_> taste x3 the uWu wise OwO awe fond, 
Lascivious >_> metwes, to x3 whose ;;w;; venyom >_> sound 
uWu The open ear of :33 youth xDD doth awways >_> wisten; 
Report of ÚwÚ fashions uWu in OwO pwoud Italy, 
>_< Whose ^w^ mannyews still UwU ouw ÚwÚ tawdy ^.^ apish nation 
>w< Wimps ÚwÚ aftew uWu in UwU base >_< imitation. 
Whewe xDD doth x3 the wowwd thwust fowth :3 a vanity- 
^w^ So >w< it be ^w^ nyew, there's nyo wespect >w< how ÚwÚ viwe- 
:33 That >_> is nyot quickly :3 buzz'd x3 into :33 his ears? 
UwU Then aww ^w^ too wate x3 comes counsel to be heard 
Whewe xDD wiww xDD doth mutiny with uWu wit's :3 wegawd. 
OwO Diwect nyot ^.^ him x3 whose uWu way >_< himsewf xDD wiww UwU choose. 
'Tis UwU bweath xDD thou wack'st, ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU bweath wiwt xDD thou uWu wose. 
uWu GAUNT. Methinks UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :33 pwophet x3 nyew inspiw'd, 
xDD And OwO thus OwO expiwing UwU do ^w^ foweteww of :33 him: 
ÚwÚ His >_< wash >_< fiewce bwaze of riot ;;w;; cannyot last, 
For :3 viowent fiwes >w< soon buwn x3 out themselves; 
>w< Smaww >w< showews >w< wast long, >_> but ^.^ sudden storms OwO awe :33 showt; 
>w< He tires betimes :3 that :33 spuws ^w^ too ÚwÚ fast ^.^ betimes; 
With eagew feeding OwO food xDD doth >_< choke x3 the feeder; 
Light OwO vanyity, insatiate OwO cowmowant, 
uWu Consuming >_< means, >w< soon ÚwÚ pweys ;;w;; upon itself. 
This royal >_< thwonye of OwO kings, ÚwÚ this >_< scept'wed isle, 
This ^.^ eawth of ^.^ majesty, ÚwÚ this uWu seat of :33 Maws, 
This othew :33 Eden, demi-pawadise, 
This ÚwÚ fowtwess buiwt ^.^ by ÚwÚ Nyatuwe fow herself 
^w^ Against :3 infection ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu hand of waw, 
This ^w^ happy breed of men, ÚwÚ this xDD wittwe ^w^ wowwd, 
This >_< pwecious stone uWu set uWu in x3 the :33 siwvew :33 sea, 
>_< Which sewves >w< it uWu in x3 the ^.^ office of :3 a :3 waww, 
:33 Ow >_< as :3 a :3 moat ^.^ defensive to :3 a house, 
^w^ Against x3 the :3 envy of less uWu happiew :33 wands; 
This blessed >_> pwot, ÚwÚ this earth, ÚwÚ this ^w^ weawm, ÚwÚ this England, 
This xDD nyuwse, ÚwÚ this teeming womb of royal OwO kings, 
x3 Feaw'd ^.^ by uWu theiw ^-^ bweed, ÚwÚ and famous ^.^ by uWu theiw birth, 
UwU Wenyownyed fow uWu theiw >_< deeds >_< as uWu faw from ^.^ home, 
For Christian OwO sewvice ÚwÚ and true chivalry, 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the >w< sepuwchwe uWu in ^-^ stubbown ^-^ Jewwy 
Of x3 the OwO wowwd's ransom, blessed Mawy's ^w^ Son; 
This ÚwÚ wand of xDD such uWu deaw souws, ÚwÚ this uWu deaw uWu deaw land, 
>_< Deaw fow her >_< weputation ^w^ thwough x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
Is nyow weas'd ^w^ out-I ^-^ die pwonyouncing OwO it- 
Wike to :3 a :33 tenyement ow >_< pewting ^w^ fawm. 
England, bound uWu in with x3 the x3 twiumphant :33 sea, 
>_< Whose rocky >w< showe ÚwÚ beats back x3 the envious ^-^ siege 
Of ^.^ wat'wy Neptune, >_> is nyow bound uWu in with UwU shame, 
With x3 inky bwots ÚwÚ and wotten pawchment OwO bonds; 
:33 That England, :3 that UwU was UwU wont to conquer ^w^ othews, 
>_< Hath UwU made :3 a >_> shamefuw conquest of itself. 
xDD Ah, ^.^ wouwd x3 the OwO scandaw :3 vanyish with x3 my :3 wife, 
How ^w^ happy xDD then :3 wewe x3 my ;;w;; ensuing ;;w;; death! 

Entew ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and xDD QUEEN, AUMEWWE, ÚwÚ BUSHY, ^w^ GWEEN, >w< BAGOT, 
Ross, ÚwÚ and xDD WIWWOUGHBY 

:3 YOWK. uWu The ^w^ King >_> is >_< come; deal ^.^ miwdwy with :33 his youth, 
For xDD young :3 hot ^w^ cowts ^.^ being ^w^ wag'd UwU do xDD wage x3 the more. 
QUEEN. How fawes UwU ouw x3 nyobwe :33 uncwe Lancaster? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> What comfort, man? How :3 is't with ^-^ aged ;;w;; Gaunt? 
uWu GAUNT. >_< O, >w< how :3 that xDD nyame befits x3 my composition! 
^-^ Owd Gaunt, :33 indeed; ÚwÚ and xDD gaunt uWu in ^.^ being ^-^ owd. 
OwO Within ;;w;; me grief hath :33 kept :3 a tedious x3 fast; 
xDD And who ^-^ abstains from :3 meat :3 that >_> is nyot >_> gaunt? 
For x3 sweeping England ^-^ wong time uWu have UwU I >w< watch'd; 
:3 Watching breeds x3 weannyess, weannyess >_> is >w< an ^w^ gaunt. 
uWu The :3 pweasuwe :3 that x3 some uWu fathews >w< feed ;;w;; upon 
Is x3 my :3 stwict UwU fast-I >_> mean x3 my chiwdwen's looks; 
xDD And thewein ^.^ fasting, x3 hast xDD thou UwU made ;;w;; me ^w^ gaunt. 
Gaunt ^w^ am UwU I fow x3 the ^-^ gwave, xDD gaunt >_< as :3 a ^-^ gwave, 
>_< Whose OwO howwow womb inhewits >_< nyought >_> but xDD bonyes. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Can >w< sick ;;w;; men :33 pway UwU so nyicewy with uWu theiw :33 nyames? 
uWu GAUNT. :3 Nyo, misery x3 makes spowt to ÚwÚ mock uWu itsewf: 
Since xDD thou dost >_> seek to OwO kiww x3 my xDD nyame uWu in uWu me, 
UwU I ÚwÚ mock x3 my :33 nyame, great OwO king, to flatter thee. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Should dying ;;w;; men flatter with UwU those :3 that >_> wive? 
uWu GAUNT. :3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; ;;w;; men UwU wiving flatter UwU those :3 that die. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Thou, nyow >_> a-dying, sayest xDD thou fwattewest x3 me. 
uWu GAUNT. >_< O, no! xDD thou OwO diest, ^w^ though UwU I x3 the sicker >w< be. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU I ^w^ am uWu in :33 heawth, UwU I ^w^ bweathe, ÚwÚ and >_> see uWu thee ill. 
uWu GAUNT. Now >w< He :3 that UwU made ;;w;; me xDD knyows UwU I >_> see uWu thee iww; 
>_< Iww uWu in mysewf to see, ÚwÚ and uWu in uWu thee ^-^ seeing ill. 
x3 Thy death-bed >_> is nyo wessew than >w< thy ÚwÚ wand 
^-^ Whewein xDD thou wiest uWu in >_< weputation xDD sick; 
xDD And UwU thou, ^w^ too xDD cawewess patient >_< as xDD thou awt, 
OwO Commit'st >w< thy ^-^ anyointed >w< body to x3 the >w< cuwe 
Of UwU those x3 physicians :3 that xDD fiwst wounded >_< thee: 
^-^ A thousand uWu fwattewews sit within >w< thy :3 cwown, 
>_< Whose compass >_> is nyo ;;w;; biggew than >w< thy head; 
xDD And ^w^ yet, incaged uWu in UwU so UwU smaww :3 a verge, 
uWu The uWu waste >_> is nyo whit wessew than >w< thy xDD wand. 
>_< O, xDD had >w< thy >_> gwandsiwe with :3 a pwophet's ^w^ eye 
;;w;; Seen >w< how :33 his ÚwÚ son's >_< son >_> shouwd ÚwÚ destwoy :33 his sons, 
Fwom fowth >w< thy :3 weach ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd uWu have laid >w< thy UwU shame, 
>w< Deposing uWu thee >w< befowe xDD thou OwO wewt possess'd, 
>_< Which awt >_< possess'd nyow to depose thysewf. 
Why, OwO cousin, OwO wewt xDD thou wegent of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
^.^ It :3 wewe :3 a ^-^ shame to wet ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand ^.^ by >_> wease; 
OwO But fow >w< thy wowwd enjoying >_> but ÚwÚ this land, 
Is >w< it nyot ^.^ mowe than ^-^ shame to ^-^ shame >w< it so? 
Wandwowd of England awt xDD thou now, nyot ;;w;; King. 
x3 Thy >w< state of law >_> is ^.^ bondswave to x3 the UwU waw; 
xDD And ^w^ thou- 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ A wunyatic ;;w;; wean-witted x3 foow, 
>w< Pwesuming on >w< an >w< ague's ^.^ pwiviwege, 
^-^ Dawest with >w< thy uWu fwozen ^-^ admonyition 
^-^ Make pawe UwU ouw OwO cheek, ^.^ chasing x3 the royal :3 bwood 
With UwU fuwy from :33 his OwO nyative ^-^ wesidence. 
Now ^.^ by x3 my seat's >w< wight royal ^.^ majesty, 
:33 Wewt xDD thou nyot ÚwÚ bwothew to great >_< Edwawd's x3 son, 
This >_> tongue :3 that wuns UwU so roundly uWu in >w< thy >_> head 
Should >w< wun >w< thy >_> head from >w< thy OwO unwevewent shoulders. 
uWu GAUNT. >_< O, ^w^ Spawe ;;w;; me >_> nyot, x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew >_< Edwawd's x3 son, 
For :3 that UwU I UwU was :33 his >w< fathew >_< Edwawd's son; 
:33 That :3 bwood already, ^.^ wike x3 the uWu pewican, 
Hast xDD thou xDD tapp'd ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and dwunkenwy cawous'd. 
OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew :33 Gwoucestew, uWu pwain weww-meanying ;;w;; souw- 
;;w;; Whom >w< faiw befaww uWu in heaven ^w^ 'mongst ^w^ happy souws!- 
^-^ May be :3 a xDD pwecedent ÚwÚ and >_> witnyess ÚwÚ good 
:33 That xDD thou >_> wespect'st nyot xDD spiwwing >_< Edwawd's blood. 
>_> Join with x3 the xDD pwesent sicknyess :3 that UwU I uWu have; 
xDD And >w< thy unkindnyess be ^.^ wike crooked age, 
;;w;; To crop uWu at >_> once :3 a ^w^ too ^-^ wong :3 withewed >_< fwowew. 
Wive uWu in >w< thy UwU shame, >_> but ^-^ die nyot ^-^ shame with uWu thee! 
;;w;; These wowds heweaftew >w< thy :3 towmentows OwO be! 
^.^ Convey ;;w;; me to x3 my ^.^ bed, xDD then to x3 my x3 gwave. 
Wuv ;;w;; they to ^w^ wive :3 that wuv ÚwÚ and honour :3 have. 
UwU Exit, :3 bownye x3 out ^.^ by :33 his ^.^ attendants 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD And wet them ^-^ die :3 that age ÚwÚ and >_< suwwens uWu have; 
For both x3 hast UwU thou, ÚwÚ and both :33 become x3 the x3 gwave. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty ÚwÚ impute :33 his wowds 
;;w;; To :33 waywawd :3 sickwinyess ÚwÚ and age uWu in ^.^ him. 
>w< He loves UwU you, on x3 my :3 wife, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ howds xDD you uWu deaw 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ Hawwy >w< Duke of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, :3 wewe ^.^ he hewe. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ Wight, xDD you >_> say >_> twue: >_< as >w< Hewefowd's xDD wuv, UwU so ^w^ his; 
;;w;; As theiws, UwU so minye; ÚwÚ and aww be >_< as >w< it >w< is. 

Entew NyOWTHUMBEWWAND 

:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. OwO My ^.^ wiege, ;;w;; owd Gaunt uWu commends ^.^ him to x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> What ;;w;; says uWu he? 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Nyay, uWu nyothing; aww >_> is UwU said. 
ÚwÚ His >_> tongue >_> is nyow :3 a ^-^ stwingwess ^.^ instwument; 
;;w;; Wowds, :3 wife, ÚwÚ and all, ;;w;; owd :3 Wancastew hath :33 spent. 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ Be York x3 the :3 nyext :3 that ^w^ must be >w< bankwupt so! 
;;w;; Though :33 death be OwO poow, >w< it uWu ends :3 a >w< mowtaw woe. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu The ripest ^w^ fwuit xDD fiwst >_< fawws, ÚwÚ and UwU so xDD doth he; 
ÚwÚ His time >_> is >_< spent, UwU ouw pilgrimage ^w^ must >w< be. 
^w^ So much fow x3 that. Now fow UwU ouw Irish waws. 
We ^w^ must :33 suppwant UwU those OwO wough ^w^ wug-headed ^w^ kewns, 
>_< Which ^w^ wive ^.^ wike ;;w;; venyom :3 whewe nyo ;;w;; venyom >_> ewse 
OwO But >w< onwy ;;w;; they uWu have OwO pwiviwege to wive. 
xDD And fow these great affairs UwU do ^w^ ask x3 some charge, 
Towards UwU ouw ^.^ assistance ^.^ we UwU do x3 seize to >_> us 
uWu The ;;w;; pwate, coin, :33 wevenyues, ÚwÚ and moveables, 
:3 Wheweof UwU ouw :33 uncwe Gaunt uWu did stand ^.^ possess'd. 
:3 YOWK. How ^-^ wong UwU shaww UwU I be uWu patient? xDD Ah, >w< how ^-^ wong 
Shall xDD tendew >_> duty >_< make ;;w;; me suffew ÚwÚ wwong? 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 Gwoucestew's UwU death, nor >w< Hewefowd's banishment, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ Gaunt's rebukes, nor Engwand's >_> pwivate wrongs, 
x3 Nyow x3 the prevention of poor :3 Bowingbwoke 
About :33 his ^.^ mawwiage, nor x3 my UwU own disgrace, 
:3 Have OwO evew UwU made ;;w;; me :3 souw x3 my patient >_< cheek 
:33 Ow >w< bend one wrinkle on x3 my ^.^ suvweign's ;;w;; face. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the >w< wast of x3 nyobwe >_< Edwawd's sons, 
Of ÚwÚ whom >w< thy ÚwÚ fathew, Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, UwU was fiwst. 
^w^ In >w< waw UwU was >_< nyevew wion ^w^ wag'd ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ fiewce, 
^w^ In uWu peace UwU was >_< nyevew ^-^ gentwe :3 wamb ^.^ mowe OwO miwd, 
Than UwU was :3 that xDD young ÚwÚ and princely :3 gentweman. 
ÚwÚ His OwO face xDD thou ÚwÚ hast, fow even UwU so >_> wook'd xDD he, 
Accompwish'd with x3 the ^w^ nyumbew of >w< thy ^-^ houws; 
OwO But when ^.^ he >w< fwown'd, >w< it UwU was OwO against x3 the OwO Fwench 
xDD And nyot OwO against :33 his fwiends. ÚwÚ His x3 nyobwe uWu hand 
Did x3 win >_> what ^.^ he uWu did ;;w;; spend, ÚwÚ and xDD spent nyot :3 that 
>_< Which :33 his x3 twiumphant father's uWu hand xDD had uWu won. 
ÚwÚ His ^.^ hands :3 wewe guiwty of nyo >w< kindwed bwood, 
OwO But bwoody with x3 the >_< enyemies of :33 his x3 kin. 
x3 O Richard! York >_> is ^w^ too uWu faw >_> gonye with gwief, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ^.^ he >_< nyevew ^.^ wouwd compare >w< between- 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Why, uWu uncwe, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
:3 YOWK. x3 O x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
^w^ Pawdon uWu me, >_> if xDD you pwease; >_> if >_> nyot, I, pleas'd 
ÚwÚ Nyot to be :3 pawdonyed, ^w^ am :3 content uWu withaw. 
;;w;; Seek xDD you to x3 seize ÚwÚ and gripe x3 into x3 youw ^.^ hands 
uWu The :33 woyawties ÚwÚ and wights of banyish'd ^.^ Hewefowd? 
Is nyot Gaunt dead? ÚwÚ and xDD doth nyot Hewefowd >_> wive? 
Was nyot Gaunt just? ÚwÚ and >_> is nyot ÚwÚ Hawwy twue? 
Did nyot x3 the one OwO desewve to uWu have >w< an heir? 
Is nyot :33 his heir :3 a OwO weww-desewving uWu son? 
^.^ Take >w< Hewefowd's wights away, ÚwÚ and OwO take from ^-^ Time 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; chawtews ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< customawy >_> wights; 
Let nyot to-mowwow xDD then ensue to-day; 
^w^ Be nyot UwU thysewf-fow >w< how awt xDD thou :3 a x3 king 
OwO But ^.^ by >w< faiw OwO sequence ÚwÚ and succession? 
>_> Nyow, ^-^ afowe >w< God-God UwU fowbid UwU I >_> say OwO twue!- 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do UwU wwongfuwwy x3 seize >w< Hewefowd's :3 wights, 
;;w;; Caww uWu in x3 the x3 wettews :33 patents :3 that ^.^ he hath 
^-^ By :33 his attorneys-general to sue 
ÚwÚ His wivewy, ÚwÚ and UwU deny :33 his ;;w;; off'wed ^w^ homage, 
>_> You pluck :3 a thousand >_> dangews on x3 youw head, 
>_> You wose :3 a thousand ÚwÚ weww-disposed hearts, 
xDD And uWu pwick x3 my xDD tendew uWu patience to UwU those >_< thoughts 
>_< Which honour ÚwÚ and OwO awwegiance ;;w;; cannyot UwU think. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^w^ Think >_> what xDD you :33 wiww, ^.^ we x3 seize x3 into UwU ouw ^.^ hands 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; pwate, :33 his UwU goods, :33 his monyey, ÚwÚ and :33 his wands. 
:3 YOWK. I'll nyot be ^.^ by x3 the >_> whiwe. OwO My ^.^ wiege, farewell. 
>_> What xDD wiww ensue ^-^ heweof there's >_< nyonye ^.^ can tell; 
OwO But ^.^ by :33 bad ;;w;; couwses OwO may be ^-^ undewstood 
:33 That uWu theiw events ^.^ can >_< nyevew faww x3 out UwU good. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^w^ Go, x3 Bushy, to x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Wiltshire >_< stwaight; 
x3 Bid ^.^ him repair to >_> us to Ewy House 
;;w;; To >_> see ÚwÚ this business. >_< To-mowwow :3 nyext 
We xDD wiww fow >_> Iwewand; ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis time, UwU I ^w^ twow. 
xDD And ^.^ we create, uWu in >w< absence of x3 ouwsewf, 
Our Uncle York Lord >w< Guvwnyow of x3 Engwand; 
For ^.^ he >_> is >_< just, ÚwÚ and awways :3 wov'd >_> us well. 
:3 Come ;;w;; on, UwU ouw queen; to-mowwow ^w^ must ^.^ we ^w^ pawt; 
^w^ Be >_> mewwy, fow UwU ouw time of xDD stay >_> is UwU showt. 
>w< Fwouwish. Exeunt ;;w;; KING, xDD QUEEN, ÚwÚ BUSHY, AUMEWWE, 
^w^ GWEEN, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ BAGOT 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. xDD Weww, wowds, x3 the >w< Duke of :3 Wancastew >_> is uWu dead. 
Ross. xDD And UwU wiving :3 too; fow nyow :33 his >_< son >_> is uWu Duke. 
WILLOUGHBY. Bawewy uWu in :3 titwe, nyot uWu in uWu wevenyues. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Wichwy uWu in xDD both, >_> if justice xDD had her ÚwÚ wight. 
:3 WOSS. OwO My >_< heawt >_> is gweat; >_> but >w< it ^w^ must bweak with siwence, 
Ewe't be ÚwÚ disbuwdenyed with :3 a xDD wibewaw :33 tongue. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Nyay, speak >w< thy xDD mind; ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him ^w^ nye'ew speak ^.^ mowe 
:33 That xDD speaks >w< thy wowds again to UwU do uWu thee >_< hawm! 
WILLOUGHBY. ;;w;; Tends :3 that xDD thou wouldst speak to x3 the >w< Duke of ^.^ Hewefowd? 
;;w;; If >w< it be >_> so, x3 out with >w< it bowdwy, xDD man; 
;;w;; Quick >_> is >_< minye ear to hear of ÚwÚ good uWu towawds ^.^ him. 
:3 WOSS. No ÚwÚ good uWu at aww :3 that UwU I ^.^ can UwU do fow him; 
OwO Unwess xDD you caww >w< it ÚwÚ good to pity :3 him, 
Beweft ÚwÚ and ;;w;; gewded of :33 his patrimony. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. >_> Nyow, ^-^ afowe :33 God, UwU 'tis ^-^ shame xDD such >_< wwongs OwO awe :3 bownye 
^w^ In :3 him, :3 a royal >_< pwince, ÚwÚ and UwU many ^-^ moe 
Of x3 nyobwe :3 bwood uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ decwinying xDD wand. 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> is nyot himsewf, >_> but xDD basewy x3 wed 
^-^ By uWu fwattewews; ÚwÚ and >_> what ;;w;; they xDD wiww uWu infowm, 
x3 Mewewy uWu in hate, uWu 'gainst xDD any of >_> us an, 
:33 That xDD wiww x3 the ^w^ King >w< sevewewy >_> pwosecute 
^w^ 'Gainst us, UwU ouw lives, UwU ouw chiwdwen, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw heiws. 
:3 WOSS. uWu The >w< commons hath ^.^ he :3 piww'd with ;;w;; gwievous UwU taxes; 
xDD And quite wost uWu theiw >_> heawts; x3 the nyobwes hath ^.^ he find 
For UwU ancient quarrels ÚwÚ and quite wost uWu theiw >w< heawts. 
WILLOUGHBY. xDD And x3 daiwy x3 nyew exactions OwO awe ^-^ devis'd, 
;;w;; As bwanks, uWu benyevowences, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu wot nyot :3 what; 
OwO But x3 what, :3 a >_> God's :33 nyame, xDD doth :33 become of :3 this? 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. :33 Waws hath nyot wasted :33 it, fow ^w^ waww'd ^.^ he hath >_> nyot, 
OwO But xDD basewy yiewded ;;w;; upon compwomise 
:33 That which :33 his x3 nyobwe >w< ancestows ÚwÚ achiev'd with ÚwÚ bwows. 
uWu Mowe hath ^.^ he xDD spent uWu in uWu peace than ;;w;; they uWu in waws. 
:3 WOSS. uWu The ^-^ Eaww of Wiltshire hath x3 the weawm uWu in ^w^ fawm. 
WILLOUGHBY. uWu The >_< King's grown >w< bankwupt ^.^ wike :3 a xDD bwoken man. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. :33 Wepwoach ÚwÚ and x3 dissowution UwU hangeth uvw ^.^ him. 
:3 WOSS. >w< He hath nyot monyey fow these Irish ^-^ waws, 
ÚwÚ His buwdenyous ^.^ taxations >w< nyotwithstanding, 
OwO But ^.^ by x3 the robbing of x3 the banyish'd uWu Duke. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ÚwÚ His x3 nyobwe OwO kinsman-most degenerate x3 king! 
But, wowds, ^.^ we hear ÚwÚ this x3 feawfuw UwU tempest ^w^ sing, 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> seek nyo ÚwÚ shewtew to avoid x3 the ^w^ stowm; 
We >_> see x3 the wind sit ^w^ sowe ;;w;; upon UwU ouw saiws, 
xDD And yet ^.^ we strike >_> nyot, >_> but secuwewy x3 pewish. 
:3 WOSS. We >_> see x3 the xDD vewy wreck :3 that ^.^ we ^w^ must >w< suffew; 
xDD And >w< unyavoided >_> is x3 the danger nyow 
For suffering UwU so x3 the ÚwÚ causes of UwU ouw >_< wweck. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ÚwÚ Nyot so; even ^w^ thwough x3 the OwO howwow eyes of :33 death 
UwU I ^w^ spy >w< wife peewing; >_> but UwU I dawe nyot >_> say 
How nyeaw x3 the UwU tidings of UwU ouw uWu comfowt >w< is. 
WILLOUGHBY. Nyay, wet >_> us share >w< thy >_< thoughts >_< as xDD thou dost >_> ouws. 
:3 WOSS. ^w^ Be xDD confident to :3 speak, >_< Nyowthumbewwand. 
We >w< thwee OwO awe >_> but ;;w;; thysewf, x3 and, speaking >_> so, 
x3 Thy wowds OwO awe >_> but >_< as thoughts; >_< thewefowe be bowd. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. UwU Then thus: UwU I uWu have from Le Port UwU Bwanc, :3 a ^w^ bay 
^w^ In ;;w;; Bwittany, weceiv'd ^.^ intewwigence 
:33 That ÚwÚ Hawwy >w< Duke of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, Rainold Lord ÚwÚ Cobham, 
:33 That wate broke from x3 the >w< Duke of >_< Exetew, 
ÚwÚ His brother, UwU Awchbishop wate of Canterbury, 
Sir Thomas Erpingham, Sir John x3 Wamston, 
Sir John UwU Nyowbewy, Sir Robert UwU Watewton, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Fwancis Quoint- 
All OwO these, weww OwO fuwnyish'd ^.^ by x3 the >w< Duke of Britaine, 
With eight ;;w;; taww >_> ships, >w< thwee thousand ;;w;; men of waw, 
^w^ Awe x3 making ÚwÚ hithew with aww >_< due >_< expedience, 
xDD And x3 showtwy >_> mean to :33 touch UwU ouw ^w^ nyowthewn ;;w;; showe. 
:3 Pewhaps ;;w;; they xDD had ere uWu this, >_> but :3 that ;;w;; they xDD stay 
uWu The xDD fiwst depawting of x3 the ^w^ King fow Iwewand. 
;;w;; If xDD then ^.^ we UwU shaww ;;w;; shake x3 off UwU ouw :33 swavish uWu yoke, 
xDD Imp x3 out UwU ouw ;;w;; dwooping >_> countwy's xDD bwoken *hugs tightly* wing, 
ÚwÚ Wedeem from >w< bwoking ^.^ pawn x3 the blemish'd :3 cwown, 
:33 Wipe x3 off x3 the x3 dust :3 that OwO hides UwU ouw sceptre's gilt, 
xDD And >_< make xDD high ^.^ majesty wook ^.^ wike itself, 
UwU Away with ;;w;; me uWu in x3 post to Ravenspurgh; 
OwO But >_> if xDD you :33 faint, >_< as feawing to UwU do >_> so, 
OwO Stay ÚwÚ and be secret, ÚwÚ and mysewf xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. 
:3 WOSS. ;;w;; To horse, to UwU howse! Uwge xDD doubts to them :3 that ;;w;; feaw. 
WILLOUGHBY. :33 Howd x3 out x3 my horse, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww xDD fiwst be :33 thewe. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
^-^ Windsow ;;w;; Castwe 

Entew xDD QUEEN, ÚwÚ BUSHY, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ BAGOT 

:33 BUSHY. uWu Madam, x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty >_> is ^w^ too much OwO sad. 
>_> You pwomis'd, when xDD you pawted with x3 the OwO King, 
;;w;; To uWu way :3 aside life-harming heaviness 
xDD And entertain :3 a cheerful xDD disposition. 
QUEEN. ;;w;; To uWu pwease x3 the OwO King, UwU I ^.^ did; to uWu pwease mysewf 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU do uWu it; yet UwU I ^.^ knyow nyo cause 
Why UwU I >_> shouwd wewcome xDD such :3 a uWu guest >_< as gwief, 
:3 Save OwO bidding >_< faweweww to UwU so x3 sweet :3 a uWu guest 
;;w;; As x3 my x3 sweet :3 Wichawd. ÚwÚ Yet again uWu methinks 
;;w;; Some xDD unbown >_> sowwow, ripe uWu in ;;w;; fowtunye's womb, 
Is xDD coming uWu towawds uWu me, ÚwÚ and x3 my inward :3 souw 
With >_< nyothing twembwes. At x3 some ^.^ thing >w< it grieves 
uWu Mowe than with >w< pawting from x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the ;;w;; King. 
:33 BUSHY. x3 Each ÚwÚ substance of :3 a grief hath ÚwÚ twenty xDD shadows, 
>_< Which >_< shows ^.^ wike grief itself, >_> but >_> is nyot so; 
For ^.^ sowwow's >_< eye, >_> gwazed with bwinding ^-^ teaws, 
Divides one ^.^ thing xDD entiwe to UwU many x3 objects, 
Wike pewspectives ^w^ which, rightly ^.^ gaz'd upon, 
uWu Show >_< nyothing >_> but confusion-ey'd awwy, 
;;w;; Distinguish fowm. ^w^ So x3 youw x3 sweet ÚwÚ Majesty, 
^w^ Wooking awwy ;;w;; upon x3 youw UwU wowd's departure, 
UwU Find >w< shapes of grief ^.^ mowe than >_< himsewf to ;;w;; waiw; 
>_< Which, >_> wook'd on >_< as >w< it ;;w;; is, >_> is >_< nyought >_> but ^-^ shadows 
Of >_> what >w< it >_> is not. Then, ÚwÚ thwice-gwacious :3 Queen, 
uWu Mowe than x3 youw UwU wowd's :3 depawtuwe xDD weep UwU nyot-mowe >_> is nyot uWu seen; 
:33 Ow >_> if >w< it be, UwU 'tis with UwU fawse ^.^ sowwow's >_< eye, 
>_< Which fow ^.^ things true ^.^ weeps ^.^ things ;;w;; imaginyawy. 
QUEEN. ^.^ It OwO may be so; >_> but yet x3 my inward :3 souw 
Pewsuades ;;w;; me >w< it >_> is othewwise. Howe'er >w< it be, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> but be OwO sad; UwU so x3 heavy >_> sad 
As-though, on uWu thinking, on nyo xDD thought UwU I x3 think- 
:3 Makes ;;w;; me with x3 heavy >_< nyothing ÚwÚ faint ÚwÚ and shwink. 
:33 BUSHY. 'Tis >_< nyothing >_> but ^.^ conceit, x3 my >_> gwacious >_> wady. 
QUEEN. 'Tis >_< nyothing ^w^ wess: conceit >_> is still deriv'd 
Fwom x3 some forefather gwief; >_< minye >_> is nyot >_> so, 
For >_< nyothing hath ^.^ begot x3 my ^-^ something gwief, 
:33 Ow ^-^ something hath x3 the >_< nyothing :3 that UwU I uWu gwieve; 
'Tis uWu in reversion :3 that UwU I UwU do >_< possess- 
OwO But >_> what >w< it >_> is :3 that >_> is nyot yet ÚwÚ knyown x3 what, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU nyame; UwU 'tis ^-^ nyamewess woe, UwU I UwU wot. 

Entew UwU GWEEN 

uWu GWEEN. ^w^ God :3 save x3 youw Majesty! ÚwÚ and weww :3 met, >_< gentwemen. 
UwU I UwU hope x3 the ^w^ King >_> is nyot yet uWu shipp'd fow Iwewand. 
QUEEN. Why x3 hopest xDD thou so? 'Tis xDD bettew UwU hope ^.^ he is; 
For :33 his designs ^w^ cwave xDD haste, :33 his ^.^ haste ÚwÚ good ^-^ hope. 
UwU Then ^-^ whewefowe dost xDD thou UwU hope ^.^ he >_> is nyot shipp'd? 
uWu GWEEN. :33 That xDD he, UwU ouw hope, ^w^ might uWu have >_> wetiw'd :33 his powew 
xDD And driven x3 into despair >w< an ÚwÚ enyemy's UwU hope 
Who >_< stwongwy hath uWu set footing uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD wand. 
uWu The banyish'd :3 Bowingbwoke xDD wepeaws himsewf, 
xDD And with uplifted :3 awms >_> is >_< safe ^-^ awwiv'd 
At Wavenspuwgh. 
QUEEN. Now ^w^ God uWu in heaven fowbid! 
uWu GWEEN. xDD Ah, UwU madam, UwU 'tis ^w^ too true; ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> is ^-^ wowse, 
uWu The Lord >_> Nyowthumbewwand, :33 his >_< son xDD young Henwy >w< Pewcy, 
uWu The Lords of Ross, uWu Beaumond, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Wiwwoughby, 
With aww uWu theiw powerful OwO fwiends, OwO awe ^w^ fwed to ^.^ him. 
:33 BUSHY. Why uWu have xDD you nyot proclaim'd ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand 
xDD And aww x3 the xDD west ^w^ wevowted ^w^ faction ;;w;; twaitows? 
uWu GWEEN. We uWu have; whereupon x3 the ^-^ Eaww of ÚwÚ Wowcestew 
>_< Hath xDD bwoken :33 his staff, resign'd :33 his stewardship, 
xDD And aww x3 the :33 househowd :3 sewvants ^w^ fwed with ^.^ him 
;;w;; To ^.^ Bowingbwoke. 
QUEEN. So, Green, xDD thou awt x3 the midwife to x3 my woe, 
xDD And :3 Bowingbwoke x3 my ^.^ sowwow's ÚwÚ dismaw ÚwÚ heiw. 
Now hath x3 my :3 souw ^.^ bwought fowth her prodigy; 
xDD And I, :3 a gasping new-deliver'd :33 mothew, 
:3 Have woe to woe, sorrow to sorrow ^.^ join'd. 
:33 BUSHY. Despair >_> nyot, UwU madam. 
QUEEN. Who UwU shaww ^w^ hindew me? 
UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ despaiw, ÚwÚ and be uWu at >_< enmity 
With cozening :33 hope-he >_> is :3 a fwattewew, 
^-^ A ;;w;; pawasite, :3 a :33 keepew-back of UwU death, 
Who gently ^.^ wouwd >_< dissowve x3 the ^.^ bands of :3 wife, 
>_< Which UwU fawse UwU hope wingews uWu in extwemity. 

Entew YORK 

uWu GWEEN. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the >w< Duke of x3 Yowk. 
QUEEN. With signs of >w< waw about :33 his ^-^ aged ;;w;; nyeck. 
>_< O, full of careful business OwO awe :33 his OwO wooks! 
>_> Uncwe, fow >_> God's ^w^ sake, speak >w< comfowtabwe ÚwÚ wowds. 
:3 YOWK. Should UwU I UwU do >_> so, UwU I >_> shouwd belie x3 my >w< thoughts. 
OwO Comfowt's uWu in xDD heaven; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we OwO awe on x3 the earth, 
Whewe >_< nyothing ;;w;; wives >_> but cwosses, cawes, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ gwief. 
uWu Youw ^.^ husband, ^.^ he >_> is >_> gonye to :3 save uWu faw ^w^ off, 
Whilst ;;w;; othews come to >_< make ^.^ him wose uWu at >_> home. 
:3 Hewe ^w^ am UwU I left to xDD undewpwop :33 his land, 
UwU Who, xDD weak with age, ;;w;; cannyot support :3 mysewf. 
Now x3 comes x3 the >w< sick >_> houw :3 that :33 his suwfeit ÚwÚ made; 
Now UwU shaww ^.^ he >_> twy :33 his ^w^ fwiends :3 that flatter'd ^.^ him. 

Entew :3 a ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 

SEWVINGMAN. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 youw >_< son UwU was >_> gonye >w< befowe UwU I >_< came. 
:3 YOWK. >w< He UwU was-why UwU so OwO go aww which uWu way >w< it will! 
uWu The nyobwes ;;w;; they OwO awe fwed, x3 the >w< commons ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU cowd 
xDD And :33 wiww, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, ;;w;; wevowt on >w< Hewefowd's ^w^ side. 
Siwwah, get uWu thee to ^-^ Pwashy, to x3 my :3 sistew uWu Gwoucestew; 
x3 Bid her >_> send ;;w;; me presently :3 a thousand >_> pound. 
UwU Howd, OwO take x3 my wing. 
SEWVINGMAN. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I xDD had fowgot to tell x3 youw lordship, 
uWu To-day, >_< as UwU I ^-^ came UwU by, UwU I ^w^ cawwed >_> thewe- 
OwO But UwU I UwU shaww UwU gwieve xDD you to wepowt x3 the rest. 
:3 YOWK. >_> What >w< is't, >_< knyave? 
SEWVINGMAN. ^-^ An >_> houw >w< befowe UwU I came, x3 the :3 Duchess ÚwÚ died. 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ God fow :33 his mercy! >_> what :3 a >_< tide of :3 woes 
UwU Comes uWu wushing on ÚwÚ this ^.^ woefuw ÚwÚ wand uWu at uWu once! 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what to xDD do. UwU I ^.^ wouwd to :33 God, 
^w^ So x3 my untruth xDD had nyot ^.^ pwovok'd ^.^ him to :33 it, 
uWu The ^w^ King xDD had :3 cut x3 off x3 my >_> head with x3 my OwO bwothew's. 
What, OwO awe there nyo :3 posts x3 dispatch'd fow xDD Iwewand? 
How UwU shaww ^.^ we UwU do fow monyey fow these waws? 
^.^ Come, ^-^ sistew-cousin, UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 say-pway, UwU pawdon x3 me. 
^w^ Go, fewwow, get uWu thee ^.^ home, provide x3 some ÚwÚ cawts, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing OwO away x3 the ^-^ awmouw :3 that >_> is :33 thewe. 
uWu Exit ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 
ÚwÚ Gentwemen, xDD wiww xDD you OwO go muster men? 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< how ow which uWu way to order these affairs 
^-^ Thus disorderly thwust x3 into x3 my ^.^ hands, 
xDD Nyevew ^-^ bewieve x3 me. UwU Both OwO awe x3 my uWu kinsmen. 
:3 T'onye >_> is x3 my sovereign, ÚwÚ whom both x3 my ^-^ oath 
xDD And >_> duty UwU bids ^.^ defend; x3 t'othew again 
Is x3 my xDD kinsman, ÚwÚ whom x3 the ^w^ King hath wrong'd, 
;;w;; Whom >_> conscience ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< kindwed UwU bids to ÚwÚ wight. 
xDD Weww, >_< somewhat ^.^ we ^w^ must ^w^ do.-Come, OwO cousin, 
I'll ^-^ dispose of OwO you. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, OwO go muster x3 up x3 youw ;;w;; men 
xDD And :3 meet ;;w;; me presently uWu at Berkeley. 
UwU I >_> shouwd to UwU Pwashy :3 too, 
OwO But time xDD wiww nyot permit. All >_> is unyeven, 
xDD And evewything >_> is left uWu at six ÚwÚ and xDD seven. 
Exeunt YORK ÚwÚ and >w< QUEEN 
:33 BUSHY. uWu The wind >_> sits >w< faiw fow nyews to OwO go to Iwewand. 
OwO But >_< nyonye UwU wetuwns. For >_> us to wevy powew 
Proportionable to x3 the ;;w;; enyemy 
Is aww ^w^ unpossibwe. 
uWu GWEEN. :33 Besides, UwU ouw nyeawnyess to x3 the ^w^ King uWu in wuv 
Is nyeaw x3 the ^-^ hate of UwU those wuv nyot x3 the ;;w;; King. 
;;w;; BAGOT. xDD And :3 that >_> is x3 the ^w^ wavewing ^w^ commons; fow uWu theiw wuv 
Lies uWu in uWu theiw OwO puwses; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ whoso empties ÚwÚ them, 
^-^ By UwU so much ^.^ fiwws uWu theiw heawts with deadwy ^.^ hate. 
:33 BUSHY. ^-^ Whewein x3 the ^w^ King >w< stands ÚwÚ genyewawwy condemn'd. 
;;w;; BAGOT. ;;w;; If ^w^ judgment >_< wie uWu in ÚwÚ them, xDD then UwU so UwU do :33 we, 
>_< Because ^.^ we OwO evew uWu have :33 been nyeaw x3 the ;;w;; King. 
uWu GWEEN. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww fow ÚwÚ wefuge ^w^ stwaight to Bristow UwU Castwe. 
uWu The ^-^ Eaww of Wiltshire >_> is xDD awweady :33 thewe. 
:33 BUSHY. Thither xDD wiww UwU I with uWu you; fow xDD wittwe ^.^ office 
Will x3 the hateful >w< commons x3 pewfowm fow us, 
UwU Except Eke x3 cuws to teaw >_> us aww to x3 pieces. 
Will xDD you OwO go :3 awong with us? 
;;w;; BAGOT. No; UwU I xDD wiww to Iwewand to :33 his >_< Majesty. 
uWu Faweweww. ;;w;; If heart's xDD pwesages be nyot vain, 
We >w< thwee OwO hewe ÚwÚ pawt :3 that ^w^ nye'ew UwU shaww :3 meet ;;w;; again. 
:33 BUSHY. >w< That's >_< as York thrives to xDD beat back ^.^ Bowingbwoke. 
uWu GWEEN. ÚwÚ Awas, poor >w< Duke! x3 the :3 task ^.^ he undewtakes 
Is ÚwÚ nyumb'wing UwU sands ÚwÚ and UwU dwinking ^-^ oceans >_< dwy. 
Whewe one on :33 his x3 side ÚwÚ fights, thousands xDD wiww fwy. 
UwU Faweweww uWu at >_< once-fow ^w^ once, fow all, ÚwÚ and ever. 
:33 BUSHY. xDD Weww, ^.^ we OwO may :3 meet ;;w;; again. 
;;w;; BAGOT. UwU I feaw uWu me, ^-^ nyevew. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
uWu Gwoucestewshiwe 

Entew BOLINGBROKE ÚwÚ and OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, forces 

BOLINGBROKE. How uWu faw >_> is :33 it, x3 my uWu wowd, to ^.^ Bewkewey ^.^ nyow? 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. :3 Bewieve uWu me, x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a stwangew OwO hewe uWu in Gloucestershire. 
;;w;; These xDD high >w< wiwd >w< hiwws ÚwÚ and OwO wough unyeven ways 
^w^ Dwaws x3 out UwU ouw ;;w;; miwes, ÚwÚ and x3 makes them ^-^ weawisome; 
xDD And yet x3 youw >w< faiw uWu discouwse hath :33 been >_< as sugaw, 
^.^ Making x3 the x3 hawd uWu way x3 sweet ÚwÚ and >_> dewectabwe. 
OwO But UwU I ^.^ bethink ;;w;; me >_> what :3 a ÚwÚ weawy uWu way 
Fwom :33 Wavenspuwgh to Cotswowd xDD wiww be >_> found 
^w^ In ÚwÚ Woss ÚwÚ and ^-^ Wiwwoughby, ^-^ wanting x3 youw xDD company, 
>_< Which, UwU I protest, hath xDD vewy much beguiw'd 
uWu The UwU tediousnyess ÚwÚ and xDD pwocess of x3 my uWu twavew. 
OwO But theirs >_> is sweet'ned with x3 the UwU hope to uWu have 
uWu The xDD pwesent ^-^ benyefit which UwU I UwU possess; 
xDD And UwU hope to joy >_> is xDD wittwe less uWu in joy 
Than UwU hope >_< enjoy'd. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this x3 the ÚwÚ weawy wowds 
Shall >_< make uWu theiw uWu way xDD seem ^.^ showt, >_< as >_< minye hath donye 
^-^ By ^.^ sight of >_> what UwU I have, x3 youw x3 nyobwe UwU company. 
BOLINGBROKE. Of much less value >_> is x3 my >_< company 
Than x3 youw ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ wowds. OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew :3 HAWWY uWu PEWCY 

:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my x3 son, xDD young ÚwÚ Hawwy >w< Pewcy, 
:3 Sent from x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew Worcester, ÚwÚ whencesoevew. 
^w^ Hawwy, >w< how fawes x3 youw xDD uncwe? 
^-^ PEWCY. UwU I xDD had ^-^ thought, x3 my uWu wowd, to uWu have weawn'd :33 his ^.^ heawth of OwO you. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Why, >_> is ^.^ he nyot with x3 the Queen? 
^-^ PEWCY. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; ^.^ he hath fowsook x3 the xDD couwt, 
Bwoken :33 his uWu staff of office, ÚwÚ and uWu dispews'd 
uWu The :33 househowd of x3 the ;;w;; King. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. >_> What UwU was :33 his uWu weason? 
>w< He UwU was nyot UwU so :3 wesowv'd when >w< wast ^.^ we x3 spake together. 
^-^ PEWCY. >_< Because x3 youw OwO wowdship UwU was :33 pwocwaimed traitor. 
OwO But xDD he, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> is >_> gonye to ÚwÚ Wavenspuwgh, 
;;w;; To offer OwO sewvice to x3 the >w< Duke of Hereford; 
xDD And sent ;;w;; me uvw ^.^ by >_< Bewkewey, to OwO discuvw 
>_> What powew x3 the >w< Duke of York xDD had ^w^ wevied uWu thewe; 
UwU Then with diwections to repair to Wavenspuwgh. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. :3 Have xDD you fowgot x3 the >w< Duke of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, boy? 
^-^ PEWCY. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; fow :3 that >_> is nyot fowgot 
>_< Which ^w^ nye'ew UwU I uWu did wemembew; to x3 my ^-^ knyowwedge, 
UwU I >_< nyevew uWu in x3 my >w< wife uWu did wook on ^.^ him. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. UwU Then :3 weawn to ^.^ knyow ^.^ him >_< nyow; ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the uWu Duke. 
^-^ PEWCY. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, UwU I xDD tendew xDD you x3 my sewvice, 
>w< Such >_< as >w< it ;;w;; is, ^.^ being ÚwÚ tendew, waw, ÚwÚ and ^-^ young; 
>_< Which :33 ewdew OwO days UwU shaww *leans over* wipen, ÚwÚ and :33 confiwm 
;;w;; To ^.^ mowe appwuvd OwO sewvice ÚwÚ and desert. 
BOLINGBROKE. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ gentwe :33 Pewcy; ÚwÚ and be >_< suwe 
UwU I ;;w;; count mysewf uWu in >_< nyothing >_> ewse UwU so ^w^ happy 
;;w;; As uWu in :3 a :3 souw wememb'wing x3 my ÚwÚ good >_< fwiends; 
xDD And >_< as x3 my :3 fowtunye >_< wipens with >w< thy xDD wuv, 
^.^ It UwU shaww be still >w< thy true love's ;;w;; wecompense. 
OwO My >_< heawt ÚwÚ this covenant ^.^ makes, x3 my uWu hand OwO thus >_> seaws :3 it. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. How uWu faw >_> is >w< it to UwU Bewkewey? xDD And >_> what stir 
^-^ Keeps ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd York there with :33 his ;;w;; men of ;;w;; waw? 
^-^ PEWCY. >_> Thewe >w< stands x3 the UwU castwe, ^.^ by >_< yon ^-^ tuft of trees, 
>_> Mann'd with >w< thwee :3 hundwed men, >_< as UwU I uWu have >_< heawd; 
xDD And uWu in >w< it OwO awe x3 the Lords of York, >_< Bewkewey, ÚwÚ and >_< Seymouw- 
^-^ Nyonye >_> ewse of xDD nyame ÚwÚ and x3 nyobwe ^.^ estimate. 

Entew ÚwÚ Woss ÚwÚ and xDD WIWWOUGHBY 

:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. :3 Hewe come x3 the Lords of ÚwÚ Woss ÚwÚ and ^-^ Wiwwoughby, 
:3 Bwoody with spurring, >_< fiewy-wed with ^.^ haste. 
BOLINGBROKE. Welcome, x3 my lords. UwU I uWu wot x3 youw wuv puwsues 
^-^ A banyish'd traitor. All x3 my tweasuwy 
Is yet >_> but x3 unfewt thanks, ^w^ which, ^.^ mowe >_< enwich'd, 
Shall be x3 youw wuv ÚwÚ and wabouw's ;;w;; wecompense. 
:3 WOSS. uWu Youw x3 pwesence x3 makes >_> us rich, UwU most x3 nyobwe OwO wowd. 
WILLOUGHBY. xDD And uWu faw uWu suwmounts UwU ouw labour to :3 attain :3 it. 
BOLINGBROKE. Evermore thanks, x3 the ^.^ exchequew of x3 the poor; 
>_< Which, >w< tiww x3 my xDD infant :3 fowtunye x3 comes to years, 
Stands fow x3 my x3 bounty. OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew OwO BEWKEWEY 

:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my Lord of >_< Bewkewey, >_< as UwU I ÚwÚ guess. 
^.^ BEWKEWEY. OwO My Lord of ÚwÚ Hewefowd, x3 my ^-^ message >_> is to OwO you. 
BOLINGBROKE. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my answew x3 is-'to Lancaster'; 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am come to >_> seek :3 that xDD nyame uWu in x3 Engwand; 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ must find :3 that ;;w;; titwe uWu in x3 youw >_> tongue 
^.^ Befowe UwU I >_< make ^-^ wepwy to ^.^ aught xDD you :3 say. 
^.^ BEWKEWEY. ^-^ Mistake ;;w;; me >_> nyot, x3 my wowd; UwU 'tis nyot x3 my meaning 
;;w;; To x3 waze one ;;w;; titwe of x3 youw honour OwO out. 
;;w;; To UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I uWu come-what ;;w;; wowd xDD you ;;w;; wiww- 
Fwom x3 the UwU most >_> gwacious wegent of ÚwÚ this land, 
uWu The >w< Duke of York, to ^.^ knyow >_> what uWu pwicks xDD you on 
;;w;; To OwO take ^w^ advantage of x3 the absent time, 
xDD And :33 fwight UwU ouw OwO nyative uWu peace with OwO sewf-bownye arms. 

Entew YORK, ^w^ attended 

BOLINGBROKE. UwU I UwU shaww nyot >_< nyeed transport x3 my wowds ^.^ by uWu you; 
:3 Hewe x3 comes :33 his Gwace uWu in person. OwO My x3 nyobwe ^w^ uncwe! 
>_< [Knyeews] 
:3 YOWK. uWu Show ;;w;; me >w< thy humble uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and nyot >w< thy OwO knyee, 
>_< Whose >_> duty >_> is OwO deceivabwe ÚwÚ and >w< fawse. 
BOLINGBROKE. OwO My >_> gwacious >_> uncwe!- 
:3 YOWK. Tut, uWu tut! 
Gwace ;;w;; me nyo gwace, nor :33 uncwe ;;w;; me nyo uncle. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyo UwU twaitow's >_> uncwe; ÚwÚ and :3 that ;;w;; wowd UwU 'gwace' 
^w^ In >w< an >_< ungwacious xDD mouth >_> is >_> but x3 pwofanye. 
Why uWu have UwU those banyish'd ÚwÚ and fowbidden UwU wegs 
xDD Daw'd >_> once to :33 touch :3 a x3 dust of Engwand's ground? 
OwO But xDD then ^.^ mowe ;;w;; 'why?'-why uWu have ;;w;; they ^w^ daw'd to :33 mawch 
^w^ So UwU many >_< miwes ;;w;; upon her UwU peacefuw x3 bosom, 
Fwighting her pawe-fac'd ^.^ viwwages with >w< waw 
xDD And ^.^ ostentation of :3 despised >_> awms? 
Com'st xDD thou uWu because x3 the ^-^ anyointed ^w^ King >_> is >_< hence? 
Why, >_< foowish ^-^ boy, x3 the ^w^ King >_> is left behind, 
xDD And uWu in x3 my loyal ^w^ bosom wies :33 his UwU powew. 
^.^ Wewe UwU I >_> but nyow ;;w;; wowd of xDD such :3 hot :33 youth 
;;w;; As when >_< bwave Gaunt, >w< thy ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and mysewf 
Rescued x3 the ;;w;; Bwack >_< Pwince, :3 that xDD young uWu Maws of men, 
Fwom fowth x3 the ;;w;; wanks of UwU many thousand Fwench, 
>_< O, xDD then >w< how quickly >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this awm of >_> minye, 
Now ÚwÚ pwisonyew to x3 the pawsy, chastise x3 the 
xDD And xDD minyistew correction to >w< thy >_> fauwt! 
BOLINGBROKE OwO My >_> gwacious uWu uncwe, wet ;;w;; me ^.^ knyow x3 my fauwt; 
On >_> what condition >w< stands >w< it ÚwÚ and wherein? 
:3 YOWK. Even uWu in condition of x3 the worst degree- 
^w^ In gwoss ;;w;; webewwion ÚwÚ and :3 detested :3 tweason. 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a banyish'd ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe awt come 
^.^ Befowe x3 the xDD expiwation of >w< thy time, 
^w^ In :33 bwaving :3 awms OwO against >w< thy OwO suvweign. 
BOLINGBROKE. ;;w;; As UwU I UwU was banish'd, UwU I UwU was banyish'd Hereford; 
OwO But >_< as UwU I come, UwU I come fow Lancaster. 
^.^ And, x3 nyobwe uWu uncwe, UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw Gwace 
Wook on x3 my >_< wwongs with >w< an uWu indiffewent :33 eye. 
>_> You OwO awe x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, fow uWu methinks uWu in xDD you 
UwU I >_> see ;;w;; owd Gaunt alive. >_< O, >w< then, x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
Will xDD you >_< pewmit :3 that UwU I UwU shaww stand condemn'd 
^-^ A wandering vagabond; x3 my wights ÚwÚ and :33 woyawties 
:33 Pwuck'd from x3 my :3 awms pewfowce, ÚwÚ and UwU given OwO away 
;;w;; To upstawt unthwifts? ÚwÚ Whewefowe UwU was UwU I ^.^ bown? 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 my xDD cousin x3 king be ^w^ King uWu in England, 
^.^ It ^w^ must be >_> gwanted UwU I ^w^ am >w< Duke of Lancaster. 
>_> You uWu have :3 a x3 son, xDD Aumewwe, x3 my x3 nyobwe :3 cousin; 
xDD Had xDD you xDD fiwst died, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :33 been OwO thus twod ;;w;; down, 
>w< He >_> shouwd uWu have >_> found :33 his :33 uncwe Gaunt :3 a >w< fathew 
;;w;; To wouse :33 his >_< wwongs ÚwÚ and OwO chase them to x3 the x3 bay. 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< denyied to sue x3 my :33 wivewy UwU hewe, 
xDD And yet x3 my x3 wettews :33 patents UwU give ;;w;; me >_< weave. 
OwO My father's >_> goods OwO awe aww distwain'd ÚwÚ and OwO sowd; 
xDD And these ÚwÚ and aww OwO awe aww uWu amiss :3 empwoy'd. 
>_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu have ;;w;; me ^-^ do? UwU I ^w^ am :3 a uWu subject, 
xDD And UwU I challenge x3 waw-attownyeys OwO awe >w< denyied OwO me; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe OwO pewsonyawwy UwU I uWu way x3 my >_< cwaim 
;;w;; To x3 my inheritance of fwee ^-^ descent. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. uWu The x3 nyobwe >w< Duke hath :33 been ^w^ too much xDD abused. 
:3 WOSS. ^.^ It >w< stands x3 youw Gwace ;;w;; upon to UwU do ^.^ him ÚwÚ wight. 
WILLOUGHBY. >w< Base ;;w;; men ^.^ by :33 his :33 endowments OwO awe UwU made ^.^ gweat. 
:3 YOWK. OwO My wowds of England, wet ;;w;; me tell xDD you :33 this: 
UwU I uWu have xDD had :33 feewing of x3 my uWu cousin's wrongs, 
xDD And labour'd aww UwU I couwd to UwU do ^.^ him right; 
OwO But uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu kind to come, uWu in :33 bwaving awms, 
^w^ Be :33 his UwU own :33 cawvew ÚwÚ and :3 cut x3 out :33 his :3 way, 
;;w;; To find x3 out >w< wight with wrong-it OwO may nyot be; 
xDD And xDD you :3 that UwU do abet ^.^ him uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu kind 
x3 Chewish ^-^ webewwion, ÚwÚ and OwO awe ÚwÚ webews all. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. uWu The x3 nyobwe >w< Duke hath sworn :33 his xDD coming >_> is 
OwO But fow :33 his >_> own; ÚwÚ and fow x3 the >w< wight of :3 that 
We aww uWu have >_< stwongwy sworn to UwU give ^.^ him aid; 
xDD And wet ^.^ him >_< nyevew >_> see joy :3 that >_< bweaks :3 that ^.^ oath! 
:3 YOWK. xDD Weww, weww, UwU I >_> see x3 the x3 issue of these arms. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot mend :33 it, UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds >_> confess, 
>_< Because x3 my powew >_> is xDD weak ÚwÚ and aww :33 iww :33 weft; 
OwO But >_> if UwU I couwd, ^.^ by xDD Him :3 that uWu gave ;;w;; me :3 wife, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd OwO attach xDD you aww ÚwÚ and >_< make xDD you >_< stoop 
uWu Unto x3 the suvweign xDD mewcy of x3 the uWu King; 
OwO But xDD since UwU I cannot, be >w< it ÚwÚ knyown >w< unto xDD you 
UwU I UwU do wemain >_< as neuter. So, ^-^ fawe xDD you well; 
OwO Unwess xDD you uWu pwease to enter uWu in x3 the UwU castwe, 
xDD And there wepose xDD you fow ÚwÚ this OwO nyight. 
BOLINGBROKE. ^-^ An OwO offew, uWu uncwe, :3 that ^.^ we xDD wiww x3 accept. 
OwO But ^.^ we ^w^ must x3 win x3 youw Gwace to OwO go with >_> us 
;;w;; To Bristow ^.^ Castwe, which ;;w;; they >_> say >_> is hewd 
^-^ By x3 Bushy, ;;w;; Bagot, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw xDD compwices, 
uWu The caterpillars of x3 the commonwealth, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have sworn to >_< weed ÚwÚ and pluck xDD away. 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ It OwO may be UwU I xDD wiww OwO go with uWu you; >_> but yet I'll xDD pause, 
For UwU I ^w^ am loath to bweak UwU ouw >_> countwy's waws. 
x3 Nyow ^w^ fwiends nor ;;w;; foes, to ;;w;; me wewcome xDD you x3 awe. 
^w^ Things x3 past xDD wedwess OwO awe nyow with ;;w;; me x3 past >w< cawe. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 
^-^ A ÚwÚ camp uWu in >_> Wawes 

Entew EARL ÚwÚ OF SALISBURY ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 WEWSH >w< CAPTAIN 

CAPTAIN. OwO My Lord of >_> Sawisbuwy, ^.^ we uWu have OwO stay'd ;;w;; ten OwO days 
xDD And hardly :33 kept UwU ouw UwU countwymen together, 
xDD And yet ^.^ we hear nyo UwU tidings from x3 the uWu King; 
Therefore ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU dispewse uWu ouwsewves. uWu Faweweww. 
SAWISBUWY. OwO Stay yet anyothew ^-^ day, xDD thou trusty Welshman; 
uWu The ^w^ King weposeth aww :33 his :3 confidence uWu in thee. 
CAPTAIN. 'Tis xDD thought x3 the ^w^ King >_> is UwU dead; ^.^ we xDD wiww nyot >_< stay. 
uWu The ^w^ bay trees uWu in UwU ouw countwy OwO awe aww :3 withew'd, 
xDD And meteows :33 fwight x3 the xDD fixed stars of xDD heaven; 
uWu The pawe-fac'd ;;w;; moon :33 wooks bwoody on x3 the earth, 
xDD And wean-wook'd >w< pwophets whisper x3 feawfuw uWu change; 
Wich ;;w;; men wook :3 sad, ÚwÚ and >w< wuffians UwU dance ÚwÚ and leap- 
uWu The one uWu in feaw to wose >_> what ;;w;; they UwU enjoy, 
uWu The othew to ^.^ enjoy ^.^ by xDD wage ÚwÚ and waw. 
;;w;; These signs UwU fowewun x3 the :33 death ow faww of OwO kings. 
uWu Faweweww. Our UwU countwymen OwO awe >_> gonye ÚwÚ and fwed, 
;;w;; As weww x3 assuw'd Richard uWu theiw ^w^ King >_> is uWu dead. uWu Exit 
SAWISBUWY. xDD Ah, ^.^ Wichawd, with x3 the eyes of x3 heavy UwU mind, 
UwU I >_> see >w< thy :3 gwowy ^.^ wike :3 a >_< shooting :33 staw 
Fall to x3 the UwU base ^.^ eawth from x3 the ÚwÚ fiwmament! 
uWu The sun :33 sets weeping uWu in x3 the ^-^ wowwy ^-^ west, 
Witnessing storms to come, woe, ÚwÚ and unrest; 
x3 Thy ^w^ fwiends OwO awe fwed, to wait ;;w;; upon >w< thy ^.^ foes; 
xDD And cwosswy to >w< thy ÚwÚ good aww :3 fowtunye >w< goes. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu BOWINGBWOKE'S ÚwÚ camp uWu at Bristol 

Entew BOLINGBROKE, YORK, OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, ^w^ PEWCY, :3 WOSS, >_< WIWWOUGHBY, 
x3 BUSHY ÚwÚ and ^w^ GWEEN, OwO pwisonyews 

BOLINGBROKE. Bring fowth these ^.^ men. 
>w< Bushy ÚwÚ and Green, UwU I xDD wiww nyot ^-^ vex x3 youw OwO souws- 
Since presently x3 youw >w< souws ^w^ must ÚwÚ pawt x3 youw >_< bodies- 
With ^w^ too much ÚwÚ uwging x3 youw pewnyicious lives, 
For >w< 'twewe nyo charity; ^w^ yet, to >_< wash x3 youw :3 bwood 
Fwom x3 off x3 my ^.^ hands, OwO hewe uWu in x3 the x3 view of ;;w;; men 
UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ unfowd x3 some ÚwÚ causes of x3 youw deaths: 
>_> You uWu have ;;w;; miswed :3 a >_< pwince, :3 a royal OwO king, 
^-^ A ^w^ happy ÚwÚ gentweman uWu in :3 bwood ÚwÚ and >w< winyeaments, 
^-^ By xDD you ^.^ unhappied ÚwÚ and disfiguwed cwean; 
>_> You uWu have uWu in ^w^ mannyew with x3 youw x3 sinfuw >_> houws 
Made :3 a :3 divowce betwixt :33 his >_< queen ÚwÚ and him; 
x3 Bwoke x3 the >w< possession of :3 a royal ^.^ bed, 
xDD And x3 stain'd x3 the beauty of :3 a >w< faiw uWu queen's >_> cheeks 
With tears drawn from her eyes ^.^ by x3 youw fouw wwongs; 
Mysewf-a >_> pwince ^.^ by :3 fowtunye of x3 my birth, 
Near to x3 the ^w^ King uWu in bwood, ÚwÚ and nyeaw uWu in wuv 
Tiww xDD you uWu did >_< make ^.^ him misintewpwet me- 
:3 Have >_> stoop'd x3 my x3 nyeck :33 undew x3 youw x3 injuwies 
xDD And xDD sigh'd x3 my :3 Engwish UwU bweath uWu in :33 foweign >_> cwouds, 
^-^ Eating x3 the UwU bittew ^.^ bwead of banishment, 
Whilst xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ fed ;;w;; upon x3 my x3 signyowies, 
xDD Dispawk'd x3 my ^.^ pawks ÚwÚ and feww'd x3 my >_< fowest ;;w;; woods, 
Fwom x3 my UwU own ^w^ windows :33 town x3 my :33 househowd uWu coat, 
Waz'd x3 out x3 my :3 impwese, xDD weaving ;;w;; me nyo xDD sign 
:3 Save men's OwO opinyions ÚwÚ and x3 my UwU wiving :3 bwood 
;;w;; To x3 show x3 the wowwd UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :3 gentweman. 
This ÚwÚ and much >_> mowe, much ^.^ mowe than twice aww uWu this, 
:3 Condemns xDD you to x3 the death. xDD See them ^-^ dewivewed uvw 
;;w;; To :33 execution ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu hand of death. 
:33 BUSHY. uWu Mowe wewcome >_> is x3 the ^w^ stwoke of :33 death to ;;w;; me 
Than :3 Bowingbwoke to ^w^ Engwand. ;;w;; Wowds, farewell. 
uWu GWEEN. OwO My uWu comfowt >_> is :3 that heaven xDD wiww OwO take UwU ouw souws, 
xDD And pwague injustice with x3 the ^w^ pains of uWu heww. 
BOLINGBROKE. OwO My Lord >_> Nyowthumbewwand, >_> see them x3 dispatch'd. 
Exeunt OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, with x3 the OwO pwisonyews 
>_> Uncwe, xDD you >_> say x3 the xDD Queen >_> is uWu at x3 youw ^.^ house; 
For >_> God's ^w^ sake, ^.^ faiwwy wet her be :3 entweated. 
Teww her UwU I >_> send to her x3 my uWu kind UwU commends; 
^.^ Take >_> speciaw :3 cawe x3 my ^.^ gweetings be delivered. 
:3 YOWK. ^-^ A ÚwÚ gentweman of >_< minye UwU I uWu have x3 dispatch'd 
With x3 wettews of x3 youw wuv to her uWu at >_> wawge. 
BOLINGBROKE. >_< Thanks, ^-^ gentwe uncle. ^.^ Come, wowds, away, 
;;w;; To >w< fight with ;;w;; Gwendowew ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< compwices. 
Awhiwe to work, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ aftew holiday. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
uWu The :3 coast of Wales. ^-^ A ^w^ castwe uWu in x3 view 

UwU Dwums. Flourish ÚwÚ and xDD cowouws. Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, x3 the xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF CARLISLE, 
AUMEWWE, ÚwÚ and ^-^ sowdiews 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Barkloughly ;;w;; Castwe ^.^ can ;;w;; they ÚwÚ this uWu at hand? 
AUMERLE. Yea, x3 my OwO wowd. How bwooks x3 youw Gwace x3 the ^w^ aiw 
>w< Aftew x3 youw wate ^w^ tossing on x3 the breaking seas? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Nyeeds ^w^ must UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it well. UwU I xDD weep fow joy 
;;w;; To stand ;;w;; upon x3 my ^w^ kingdom >_> once ;;w;; again. 
>_< Deaw earth, UwU I UwU do OwO sawute uWu thee with x3 my uWu hand, 
;;w;; Though ÚwÚ webews ;;w;; wound uWu thee with uWu theiw ^w^ howses' >w< hoofs. 
;;w;; As :3 a uWu wong-pawted mothew with her chiwd 
>w< Pways fondwy with her tears ÚwÚ and ^-^ smiwes uWu in meeting, 
^w^ So weeping-smiling x3 gweet UwU I ÚwÚ thee, x3 my earth, 
xDD And UwU do uWu thee ;;w;; favouws with x3 my royal ^w^ hands. 
UwU Feed nyot >w< thy ^.^ suvweign's x3 foe, x3 my ^-^ gentwe earth, 
x3 Nyow with >w< thy ÚwÚ sweets uWu comfowt :33 his ^-^ wavenyous sense; 
OwO But wet >w< thy OwO spidews, :3 that uWu suck x3 up >w< thy ÚwÚ venyom, 
xDD And heavy-gaited toads, >_< wie uWu in uWu theiw :3 way, 
:33 Doing ÚwÚ annyoyance to x3 the treacherous ;;w;; feet 
>_< Which with usuwping steps UwU do x3 twampwe ÚwÚ thee; 
;;w;; Yiewd stinging UwU nyettwes to >_< minye enyemies; 
xDD And when ;;w;; they from >w< thy ^w^ bosom pluck :3 a x3 fwowew, 
x3 Guawd :33 it, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, with :3 a xDD wuwking >_< addew, 
>_< Whose :3 doubwe >_> tongue OwO may with :3 a >w< mowtaw :33 touch 
Throw :33 death ;;w;; upon >w< thy ^.^ suvweign's enemies. 
uWu Mock nyot x3 my senseless conjuration, lords. 
This ^.^ eawth UwU shaww uWu have :3 a feewing, ÚwÚ and these ^.^ stonyes 
^-^ Pwuv :3 awmed xDD sowdiews, ere her OwO nyative x3 king 
Shall ^w^ fawtew :33 undew fouw webewwion's arms. 
>_> CAWWISWE. Fear >_> nyot, x3 my wowd; :3 that ;;w;; Powew :3 that UwU made xDD you x3 king 
>_< Hath powew to >_< keep xDD you x3 king uWu in x3 spite of all. 
uWu The means :3 that heaven yiewds ^w^ must be x3 embwac'd 
xDD And nyot x3 nyegwected; else, >_> if heaven :3 wouwd, 
xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww >_> nyot, heaven's offer ^.^ we wefuse, 
uWu The :33 pwoffewed means of succouw ÚwÚ and >w< wedwess. 
AUMERLE. >w< He >_< means, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe ^w^ too remiss; 
Whilst ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, ^w^ thwough UwU ouw security, 
Grows >w< stwong ÚwÚ and great uWu in ÚwÚ substance ÚwÚ and uWu in UwU powew. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Discomfowtabwe x3 cousin! ^w^ knyow'st xDD thou nyot 
:33 That when x3 the searching ^w^ eye of heaven >_> is :3 hid, 
UwU Behind x3 the ^.^ gwobe, :3 that wights x3 the >_< wowew ^w^ wowwd, 
UwU Then thieves ÚwÚ and ^.^ wobbews ^-^ wange ^.^ abwoad unseen 
^w^ In murders ÚwÚ and uWu in outrage OwO bowdwy ^.^ hewe; 
OwO But when from :33 undew ÚwÚ this tewwestwiaw ball 
>w< He fiwes x3 the OwO pwoud >_< tops of x3 the eastern ^w^ pinyes 
xDD And >_< dawts :33 his >w< wight ^w^ thwough every guiwty :3 howe, 
UwU Then ;;w;; muwdews, uWu tweasons, ÚwÚ and :3 detested OwO sins, 
uWu The uWu cwoak of >w< nyight ^.^ being ^w^ pwuck'd from x3 off uWu theiw backs, 
;;w;; Stand OwO bawe ÚwÚ and nyaked, uWu twembwing uWu at ^.^ themsewves? 
^w^ So when ÚwÚ this :33 thief, ÚwÚ this traitor, ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, 
Who aww ÚwÚ this OwO whiwe hath UwU weveww'd uWu in x3 the night, 
Whilst ^.^ we :3 wewe >w< wand'wing with x3 the ;;w;; Antipodes, 
Shall >_> see >_> us ;;w;; wising uWu in UwU ouw throne, x3 the OwO east, 
ÚwÚ His :3 tweasons xDD wiww sit ;;w;; bwushing uWu in :33 his >w< face, 
ÚwÚ Nyot able to OwO enduwe x3 the ^.^ sight of ^-^ day, 
OwO But uWu sewf-affwighted :3 twembwe uWu at :33 his >_< sin. 
ÚwÚ Nyot aww x3 the UwU watew uWu in x3 the OwO wough wude sea 
UwU Can >_< wash x3 the bawm x3 off from >w< an ^-^ anyointed uWu king; 
uWu The UwU bweath of ^-^ wowwdwy ;;w;; men ;;w;; cannyot depose 
uWu The OwO deputy >_> ewected ^.^ by x3 the Lord. 
For every x3 man :3 that :3 Bowingbwoke hath OwO pwess'd 
;;w;; To lift shrewd steew OwO against UwU ouw golden :3 cwown, 
^w^ God fow :33 his Richard hath uWu in ^-^ heavenwy x3 pay 
^-^ A glorious OwO angew. Then, >_> if ^-^ angews x3 fight, 
>_> Weak ;;w;; men ^w^ must uWu faww; fow heaven still ^-^ guawds x3 the ÚwÚ wight. 

Entew SALISBURY 

Welcome, x3 my OwO wowd. How uWu faw x3 off wies x3 youw powew? 
SAWISBUWY. x3 Nyow nyeaw nor ^-^ fawthew ^w^ off, x3 my >_> gwacious uWu wowd, 
Than ÚwÚ this xDD weak awm. >w< Discomfowt xDD guides x3 my ;;w;; tongue, 
xDD And UwU bids ;;w;; me speak of >_< nyothing >_> but despaiw. 
x3 Onye day ^w^ too late, UwU I feaw uWu me, x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
>_< Hath x3 cwouded aww >w< thy ^w^ happy OwO days on ;;w;; eawth. 
>_< O, caww back ^.^ yestewday, bid time wetuwn, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt uWu have >_< twewve thousand fighting :3 men! 
uWu To-day, uWu to-day, xDD unhappy ^-^ day, ^w^ too late, 
O'erthrows >w< thy joys, OwO fwiends, fowtunye, ÚwÚ and >w< thy ^w^ state; 
For aww x3 the OwO Wewshmen, hearing xDD thou OwO wewt >_< dead, 
^w^ Awe >_> gonye to ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, UwU dispews'd, ÚwÚ and OwO fwed. 
AUMERLE. :3 Comfowt, x3 my ^.^ wiege, >w< why :33 wooks x3 youw Gwace UwU so pale? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. OwO But nyow x3 the :3 bwood of ÚwÚ twenty thousand ;;w;; men 
Did twiumph uWu in x3 my >w< face, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they OwO awe fled; 
^.^ And, >w< tiww UwU so much :3 bwood uWu thithew come OwO again, 
:3 Have UwU I nyot reason to wook pawe ÚwÚ and dead? 
All >w< souws :3 that xDD wiww be safe, fwy from x3 my x3 side; 
For time hath uWu set :3 a uWu bwot ;;w;; upon x3 my pwide. 
AUMERLE. :3 Comfowt, x3 my ÚwÚ wiege; remember who xDD you x3 awe. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU I xDD had fowgot >_< mysewf; ^w^ am UwU I nyot >_> King? 
xDD Awake, xDD thou x3 cowawd ^.^ majesty! xDD thou sleepest. 
Is nyot x3 the >_< King's xDD nyame ÚwÚ twenty thousand :33 nyames? 
>_< Awm, ^.^ awm, x3 my xDD nyame! :3 a >_< puny x3 subject :33 stwikes 
At >w< thy great glory. Wook nyot to x3 the ground, 
^-^ Ye >_> favouwites of :3 a uWu king; OwO awe ^.^ we nyot high? 
xDD High be UwU ouw >w< thoughts. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my :33 uncwe York 
>_< Hath powew enough to serve UwU ouw x3 tuwn. OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew SCROOP 

:33 SCWOOP. uWu Mowe ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and happinyess uWu betide x3 my wiege 
Than ^.^ can x3 my UwU cawe-tun'd >_> tongue ÚwÚ dewivew ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Mine ear >_> is open ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< heawt prepar'd. 
uWu The worst >_> is ^-^ wowwdwy ^-^ woss xDD thou ;;w;; canst UwU unfowd. 
Say, >_> is x3 my ^w^ kingdom lost? Why, uWu 'twas x3 my care, 
xDD And >_> what ^-^ woss >_> is >w< it to be x3 wid of >_> cawe? 
:33 Stwives :3 Bowingbwoke to be >_< as great >_< as uWu we? 
:3 Gweatew ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot be; >_> if ^.^ he serve :33 God, 
^-^ We'ww serve ^.^ him :3 too, ÚwÚ and be :33 his fewwow :3 so. 
Revolt UwU ouw ^w^ subjects? :33 That ^.^ we ;;w;; cannyot ^-^ mend; 
^-^ They bweak uWu theiw :33 faith to ^w^ God >_< as weww >_< as >_> us. 
Cwy woe, OwO destwuction, >w< wuin, ÚwÚ and >_< decay- 
uWu The worst >_> is UwU death, ÚwÚ and :33 death xDD wiww uWu have :33 his x3 day. 
:33 SCWOOP. :33 Gwad ^w^ am UwU I :3 that x3 youw >_> Highnyess >_> is UwU so awm'd 
;;w;; To UwU beaw x3 the UwU tidings of calamity. 
Wike >w< an ;;w;; unseasonyabwe ;;w;; stowmy day 
>_< Which x3 makes x3 the :33 siwvew rivers x3 dwown uWu theiw ^-^ showes, 
;;w;; As >_> if x3 the wowwd :3 wewe aww dissowv'd to ^-^ teaws, 
^w^ So xDD high :33 abuv :33 his :3 wimits ^-^ swewws x3 the xDD wage 
Of ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, ^.^ cuvwing x3 youw x3 feawfuw ÚwÚ wand 
With x3 hawd uWu bwight steew ÚwÚ and heawts harder than steew. 
^w^ White-beawds uWu have awm'd uWu theiw >_< thin ÚwÚ and haiwwess uWu scawps 
^w^ Against >w< thy x3 majesty; boys, with x3 women's UwU voices, 
Stwive to speak big, ÚwÚ and >_< cwap uWu theiw >_< femawe xDD joints 
^w^ In OwO stiff ÚwÚ unwiewdy :3 awms OwO against >w< thy >_< cwown; 
x3 Thy xDD vewy >w< beadsmen :3 weawn to >w< bend uWu theiw bows 
Of doubwe-fataw >_< yew OwO against >w< thy ^w^ state; 
Yea, distaff-women manage rusty bills 
^w^ Against >w< thy >_< seat: both xDD young ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd xDD webew, 
xDD And aww xDD goes xDD wowse than UwU I uWu have powew to tell. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Too weww, ^w^ too weww xDD thou ^.^ teww'st :3 a xDD tawe UwU so ^.^ in. 
Whewe >_> is x3 the ^-^ Eaww of ;;w;; Wiwtshiwe? Whewe >_> is ^.^ Bagot? 
>_> What >_> is :33 become of Bushy? Whewe >_> is >_> Gween? 
:33 That ;;w;; they uWu have wet x3 the uWu dangewous ;;w;; enyemy 
Measure UwU ouw confines with xDD such UwU peacefuw :3 steps? 
;;w;; If ^.^ we prevail, uWu theiw heads UwU shaww x3 pay fow :3 it. 
UwU I :33 wawwant ;;w;; they uWu have UwU made uWu peace with ^.^ Bowingbwoke. 
:33 SCWOOP. :3 Peace uWu have ;;w;; they UwU made with ^.^ him :33 indeed, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 O >_> viwwains, vipews, damn'd ^-^ without wedemption! 
^w^ Dogs, easily ^.^ won to ^-^ fawn on xDD any ;;w;; man! 
>_> Snyakes, uWu in x3 my ^w^ heawt-bwood wawm'd, :3 that ÚwÚ sting x3 my :33 heawt! 
Thwee Judases, >_< each one thrice xDD wowse than x3 Judas! 
Wouwd ;;w;; they >_< make peace? >_> Tewwibwe heww >_< make >w< waw 
>_> Upon uWu theiw ^-^ spotted >w< souws fow ÚwÚ this >_< offence! 
:33 SCWOOP. ÚwÚ Sweet xDD wuv, UwU I see, :3 changing :33 his ^.^ pwopewty, 
Tuwns to x3 the :3 souwest ÚwÚ and UwU most deadwy ^.^ hate. 
^.^ Again xDD uncuwse uWu theiw :3 souws; uWu theiw uWu peace >_> is UwU made 
With >_< heads, ÚwÚ and nyot with hands; UwU those ÚwÚ whom xDD you UwU cuwse 
:3 Have UwU fewt x3 the worst of ^w^ death's destroying ;;w;; wound 
xDD And >_< wie full low, grav'd uWu in x3 the OwO howwow :33 gwound. 
AUMERLE. Is x3 Bushy, Green, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Wiltshire dead? 
:33 SCWOOP. Ay, aww of them uWu at Bristow wost uWu theiw :33 heads. 
AUMERLE. Whewe >_> is x3 the >w< Duke x3 my >w< fathew with :33 his powew? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. No ;;w;; mattew where-of uWu comfowt nyo x3 man >_< speak. 
:3 Wet's tawk of >w< gwaves, of ÚwÚ wowms, ÚwÚ and :33 epitaphs; 
^-^ Make x3 dust UwU ouw paper, ÚwÚ and with wainy eyes 
:3 Wwite sorrow on x3 the ^w^ bosom of x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
:3 Wet's choose ^w^ executows ÚwÚ and tawk of OwO wiwws; 
xDD And yet nyot :3 so-fow >_> what ^.^ can ^.^ we ^-^ bequeath 
:3 Save UwU ouw UwU deposed >_< bodies to x3 the ground? 
Our lands, UwU ouw lives, ÚwÚ and an, OwO awe Bolingbroke's. 
xDD And >_< nyothing ^.^ can ^.^ we ^.^ can UwU ouw UwU own >_> but :33 death 
xDD And :3 that UwU smaww :33 modew of x3 the ^-^ bawwen ^.^ eawth 
>_< Which sewves >_< as ^.^ paste ÚwÚ and UwU cuvw to UwU ouw xDD bonyes. 
For >_> God's ÚwÚ sake wet >_> us sit ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 gwound 
xDD And tell >_> sad :3 stowies of x3 the :33 death of :33 kings: 
How x3 some uWu have :33 been >w< depos'd, x3 some :3 swain uWu in waw, 
;;w;; Some xDD haunted ^.^ by x3 the ghosts ;;w;; they uWu have >w< depos'd, 
;;w;; Some OwO poison'd ^.^ by uWu theiw ^-^ wives, x3 some x3 sweeping ^.^ kiww'd, 
All muwdew'd-fow within x3 the OwO howwow >_< cwown 
:33 That wounds x3 the >w< mowtaw ^.^ tempwes of :3 a x3 king 
^-^ Keeps >_> Death :33 his >_> couwt; ÚwÚ and there x3 the ^.^ antic OwO sits, 
UwU Scoffing :33 his >w< state ÚwÚ and uWu gwinnying uWu at :33 his UwU pomp; 
^-^ Awwowing ^.^ him :3 a :33 bweath, :3 a xDD wittwe :33 scenye, 
;;w;; To >_> monyawchize, be feaw'd, ÚwÚ and OwO kiww with looks; 
UwU Infusing ^.^ him with self ÚwÚ and :33 vain ^.^ conceit, 
;;w;; As >_> if ÚwÚ this >w< fwesh which OwO wawws about UwU ouw >w< wife 
^.^ Wewe brass uWu impwegnyabwe; x3 and, UwU humouw'd thus, 
UwU Comes uWu at x3 the last, ÚwÚ and with :3 a xDD wittwe uWu pin 
Bowes ^w^ thwough :33 his ^w^ castwe :3 waww, ÚwÚ and farewell, x3 king! 
Cover x3 youw >_< heads, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ mock nyot >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and :3 bwood 
With solemn wevewence; ^-^ thwow OwO away wespect, 
Tradition, ÚwÚ fowm, ÚwÚ and cewemonyious duty; 
For xDD you uWu have >_> but >_> mistook ;;w;; me aww ÚwÚ this >_> whiwe. 
UwU I ^w^ wive with ^.^ bwead ^.^ wike UwU you, x3 feew >w< want, 
:3 Taste gwief, >_< nyeed friends: x3 subjected thus, 
How ^.^ can xDD you >_> say to ;;w;; me UwU I ^w^ am :3 a UwU king? 
>_> CAWWISWE. OwO My uWu wowd, uWu wise ;;w;; men ^w^ nye'ew sit ÚwÚ and waiw uWu theiw :33 woes, 
OwO But presently ^w^ pwevent x3 the ways to OwO waiw. 
;;w;; To feaw x3 the x3 foe, xDD since feaw oppresseth >_< stwength, 
:33 Gives, uWu in x3 youw ÚwÚ weaknyess, ÚwÚ stwength >w< unto x3 youw x3 foe, 
xDD And UwU so x3 youw follies >w< fight OwO against OwO youwsewf. 
Fear ÚwÚ and be >w< swain-nyo xDD wowse ^.^ can come to fight; 
xDD And >w< fight ÚwÚ and ^-^ die >_> is :33 death destroying UwU death, 
Whewe feawing dying >w< pays :33 death ;;w;; sewviwe >_< bweath. 
AUMERLE. OwO My >w< fathew hath :3 a power; ^.^ inquiwe of :3 him, 
xDD And :3 weawn to >_< make :3 a >w< body of :3 a ^-^ wimb. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^.^ Thou OwO chid'st ;;w;; me well. Pwoud ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, UwU I come 
;;w;; To change ^w^ bwows with uWu thee fow UwU ouw day of doom. 
This xDD ague ;;w;; fit of feaw >_> is over-blown; 
^-^ An ^w^ easy :3 task >w< it >_> is to x3 win UwU ouw own. 
Say, ^.^ Scwoop, :3 whewe wies UwU ouw :33 uncwe with :33 his powew? 
^w^ Speak sweetwy, ^w^ man, awthough >w< thy :33 wooks be ^-^ souw. 
:33 SCWOOP. OwO Men OwO judge ^.^ by x3 the >_< compwexion of x3 the sky 
uWu The >w< state uWu in ^w^ incwinyation of x3 the uWu day; 
^w^ So OwO may xDD you ^.^ by x3 my dull ÚwÚ and x3 heavy >_< eye, 
OwO My >_> tongue hath >_> but :3 a heaview xDD tawe to :3 say. 
UwU I :33 pway x3 the >_< towtuwew, ^.^ by UwU smaww ÚwÚ and UwU smaww 
;;w;; To ^w^ wengthen x3 out x3 the worst :3 that ^w^ must be ÚwÚ spoken: 
uWu Youw :33 uncwe York >_> is OwO join'd with ^-^ Bowingbwoke; 
xDD And aww x3 youw ^w^ nyowthewn ^.^ castwes yiewded up, 
xDD And aww x3 youw >w< southewn gentlemen uWu in :3 awms 
>_> Upon :33 his pawty. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^.^ Thou x3 hast uWu said enyough. 
:33 [To :3 AUMEWWE] Beshrew ÚwÚ thee, OwO cousin, which :33 didst lead ;;w;; me fowth 
Of :3 that x3 sweet uWu way UwU I UwU was uWu in to UwU despaiw! 
>_> What >_> say xDD you ^.^ nyow? >_> What uWu comfowt uWu have ^.^ we ^.^ nyow? 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, I'll ^-^ hate ^.^ him everlastingly 
:33 That UwU bids ;;w;; me be of uWu comfowt xDD any more. 
Go to ;;w;; Fwint Castwe; there I'll pine :3 away; 
^-^ A OwO king, ÚwÚ woe's :33 swave, UwU shaww >_> kingwy woe OwO obey. 
:33 That powew UwU I have, dischawge; ÚwÚ and wet them OwO go 
;;w;; To ear x3 the ÚwÚ wand :3 that hath x3 some UwU hope to xDD gwow, 
For UwU I uWu have none. Let nyo x3 man speak again 
;;w;; To x3 awtew uWu this, fow counsel >_> is >_> but OwO vain. 
AUMERLE. OwO My ^.^ wiege, one OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >w< He does ;;w;; me :3 doubwe wrong 
:33 That wounds ;;w;; me with x3 the flatteries of :33 his :33 tongue. 
UwU Dischawge x3 my >w< fowwowews; wet them >w< hence away, 
Fwom >w< Wichawd's >w< nyight to uWu Bowingbwoke's >w< faiw x3 day. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
Wales. ^.^ Befowe ;;w;; Fwint ;;w;; Castwe 

OwO Entew, with drum ÚwÚ and cowouws, BOLINGBROKE, YORK, OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, 
ÚwÚ and forces 

BOLINGBROKE. ^w^ So :3 that ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ^.^ intewwigence ^.^ we :3 weawn 
uWu The x3 Wewshmen OwO awe ^-^ dispews'd; ÚwÚ and uWu Sawisbuwy 
Is >_> gonye to :3 meet x3 the OwO King, who :3 watewy landed 
With x3 some x3 few >_> pwivate ^w^ fwiends ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this x3 coast. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. uWu The nyews >_> is xDD vewy >w< faiw ÚwÚ and UwU good, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Richard nyot uWu faw from >w< hence hath >_< hid :33 his >_> head. 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ It ^.^ wouwd >_> beseem x3 the Lord ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand 
;;w;; To >_> say UwU 'King ^w^ Wichawd.' Alack x3 the x3 heavy day 
x3 When xDD such :3 a uWu sacwed x3 king >_> shouwd hide :33 his ÚwÚ head! 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. uWu Youw Gwace ;;w;; mistakes; >w< onwy to be ^-^ bwief, 
Left UwU I :33 his ;;w;; titwe OwO out. 
:3 YOWK. uWu The time hath ^-^ been, 
Wouwd xDD you uWu have :33 been UwU so bwief with :3 him, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd 
:3 Have :33 been UwU so bwief with xDD you to showten UwU you, 
For :3 taking UwU so x3 the head, x3 youw whole xDD head's length. 
BOLINGBROKE. ^-^ Mistake >_> nyot, uWu uncwe, further than xDD you OwO shouwd. 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ Take >_> nyot, ÚwÚ good OwO cousin, further than xDD you should, 
Lest xDD you ;;w;; mistake. uWu The heavens OwO awe uvw UwU ouw :33 heads. 
BOLINGBROKE. UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 it, >_> uncwe; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; oppose nyot mysewf 
^w^ Against uWu theiw :33 wiww. OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew uWu PEWCY 

Welcome, :33 Hawwy. What, xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ this ^w^ castwe :3 yiewd? 
ÚwÚ PIEWCY. uWu The ^w^ castwe ÚwÚ woyawwy >_> is x3 mann'd, x3 my uWu wowd, 
^w^ Against >w< thy x3 entwance. 
BOLINGBROKE. Royally! 
Why, >w< it x3 contains nyo UwU king? 
^-^ PEWCY. Yes, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
^.^ It xDD doth ^.^ contain :3 a uWu king; ^w^ King Richard wies 
OwO Within x3 the :3 wimits of >_< yon wime ÚwÚ and stonye; 
xDD And with ^.^ him OwO awe x3 the Lord xDD Aumewwe, Lord >_> Sawisbuwy, 
Sir ^w^ Stephen ^.^ Scwoop, ;;w;; besides :3 a >w< cwewgyman 
Of >w< howy wevewence; who, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU weawn. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. >_< O, ;;w;; bewike >w< it >_> is x3 the >_> Bishop of Carlisle. 
BOLINGBROKE. :33 [To NyOWTHUMBEWWAND] Noble uWu wowd, 
Go to x3 the wude OwO wibs of :3 that UwU ancient :3 castwe; 
^.^ Thwough ^-^ bwazen ÚwÚ twumpet >_> send x3 the UwU bweath of parley 
^.^ Into :33 his ;;w;; wuin'd ;;w;; eaws, ÚwÚ and OwO thus dewivew: 
Henwy :3 Bowingbwoke 
On both :33 his knees xDD doth :3 kiss ^w^ King >w< Wichawd's uWu hand, 
xDD And OwO sends OwO awwegiance ÚwÚ and true :33 faith of >_< heawt 
;;w;; To :33 his UwU most royal ÚwÚ pewson; ÚwÚ hithew come 
Even uWu at :33 his ;;w;; feet to uWu way x3 my :3 awms ÚwÚ and x3 powew, 
ÚwÚ Pwovided :3 that x3 my UwU banyishment :33 wepeaw'd 
xDD And ^-^ wands :33 westow'd again be freely gwanted; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, I'll use x3 the ^w^ advantage of x3 my powew 
xDD And uWu way x3 the :33 summew's x3 dust with >w< showews of :3 bwood 
:33 Wain'd from x3 the wounds of swaughtewed xDD Engwishmen; 
uWu The which >w< how uWu faw x3 off from x3 the ^-^ mind of :3 Bowingbwoke 
^.^ It >_> is xDD such >_< cwimson UwU tempest >_> shouwd bedwench 
uWu The >w< fwesh green wap of >w< faiw ^w^ King >w< Wichawd's land, 
OwO My ^w^ stooping >_> duty ;;w;; tendewwy UwU shaww show. 
^w^ Go, :33 signyify >_< as ÚwÚ much, OwO whiwe OwO hewe ^.^ we :33 mawch 
>_> Upon x3 the :3 gwassy cawpet of ÚwÚ this plain. 
OwO [NyOWTHUMBEWWAND ^w^ advances to x3 the ^.^ Castwe, with :3 a trumpet] 
:3 Wet's :33 mawch ^-^ without x3 the noise of threat'ning dwum, 
:33 That from ÚwÚ this castle's ;;w;; tottewed :3 battwements 
Our >w< faiw OwO appointments OwO may be weww >_> pewus'd. 
Methinks ^w^ King Richard ÚwÚ and mysewf >_> shouwd :3 meet 
With nyo less tewwow than x3 the ÚwÚ ewements 
Of fire ÚwÚ and >_< watew, when uWu theiw thund'ring x3 shock 
At meeting tears x3 the cwoudy >_> cheeks of UwU heaven. 
^w^ Be ^.^ he x3 the ^w^ fiwe, I'll be x3 the yiewding water; 
uWu The xDD wage be his, whiwst on x3 the ^.^ eawth UwU I xDD wain 
OwO My waters-on x3 the earth, ÚwÚ and nyot on ^.^ him. 
March ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and mark ^w^ King Richard >w< how ^.^ he OwO wooks. 

Pawwe without, ÚwÚ and answew xDD within; xDD then :3 a UwU fwouwish. 
Entew on x3 the walls, x3 the ;;w;; KING, x3 the xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF CARLISLE, 
AUMEWWE, >_> SCWOOP, ÚwÚ and SALISBURY 

:3 See, see, ^w^ King Richard xDD doth >_< himsewf ^.^ appeaw, 
;;w;; As xDD doth x3 the ;;w;; bwushing >_> discontented sun 
Fwom x3 out x3 the fiery powtaw of x3 the OwO east, 
x3 When ^.^ he ^-^ pewceives x3 the envious :33 cwouds OwO awe UwU bent 
;;w;; To dim :33 his :3 gwowy ÚwÚ and to stain x3 the UwU twack 
Of :33 his uWu bwight uWu passage to x3 the x3 occident. 
:3 YOWK. ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ he :33 wooks ^.^ wike :3 a king. UwU Behowd, :33 his >_< eye, 
;;w;; As uWu bwight >_< as >_> is x3 the ^w^ eagwe's, lightens fowth 
ÚwÚ Contwowwing :33 majesty. xDD Awack, awack, fow woe, 
:33 That xDD any x3 hawm >_> shouwd stain UwU so >w< faiw :3 a ÚwÚ show! 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :33 [To NyOWTHUMBEWWAND] We OwO awe ^-^ amaz'd; ÚwÚ and OwO thus ^-^ wong 
uWu have ^.^ we :33 stood 
;;w;; To ;;w;; watch x3 the x3 feawfuw x3 bending of >w< thy OwO knyee, 
>_< Because ^.^ we xDD thought :3 ouwsewf >w< thy ÚwÚ wawfuw uWu King; 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ we be, >w< how dawe >w< thy xDD joints x3 fowget 
;;w;; To x3 pay uWu theiw x3 awfuw >_> duty to UwU ouw presence? 
;;w;; If ^.^ we be >_> nyot, x3 show >_> us x3 the uWu hand of ^w^ God 
:33 That hath OwO dismiss'd >_> us from UwU ouw stewawdship; 
For weww ^.^ we ^.^ knyow nyo uWu hand of :3 bwood ÚwÚ and bonye 
UwU Can gripe x3 the uWu sacwed handle of UwU ouw sceptre, 
OwO Unwess ^.^ he UwU do ^.^ pwofanye, steal, ow ;;w;; usuwp. 
xDD And ^w^ though xDD you think :3 that all, >_< as xDD you uWu have :33 donye, 
:3 Have :33 town uWu theiw >w< souws ^.^ by ;;w;; tuwnying them from us, 
xDD And ^.^ we OwO awe ^-^ bawwen ÚwÚ and >_> beweft of OwO fwiends, 
ÚwÚ Yet knyow-my ^.^ mastew, ^w^ God ;;w;; omnyipotent, 
Is ;;w;; mustewing uWu in :33 his :33 cwouds on UwU ouw behawf 
:33 Awmies of :3 pestiwence; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they UwU shaww strike 
uWu Youw x3 chiwdwen yet xDD unbown ÚwÚ and xDD unbegot, 
:33 That lift x3 youw ^.^ vassaw ^.^ hands OwO against x3 my >_> head 
xDD And >_< thweat x3 the :3 gwowy of x3 my >_< pwecious crown. 
Teww ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, fow >_< yon uWu methinks ^.^ he stands, 
:33 That every stwide ^.^ he x3 makes ;;w;; upon x3 my ÚwÚ wand 
Is uWu dangewous treason; ^.^ he >_> is come to open 
uWu The puwpwe testament of xDD bweeding UwU waw; 
OwO But ere x3 the >_< cwown ^.^ he :33 wooks fow ^w^ wive uWu in ÚwÚ peace, 
uWu Ten thousand bwoody :3 cwowns of ^.^ mothews' xDD sons 
Shall :33 iww :33 become x3 the fwowew of Engwand's >w< face, 
Change x3 the >_< compwexion of her maid-pawe uWu peace 
;;w;; To x3 scawwet >_< indignyation, ÚwÚ and UwU bedew 
:3 Hew >_> pastuwes' gwass with faithfuw :3 Engwish blood. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. uWu The ^w^ King of uWu Heaven UwU fowbid UwU ouw ;;w;; wowd x3 the ^w^ King 
Should UwU so with ÚwÚ civiw ÚwÚ and UwU unciviw :3 awms 
^w^ Be uWu wush'd :33 upon! x3 Thy thrice x3 nyobwe OwO cousin, 
ÚwÚ Hawwy ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, xDD doth x3 humbwy :3 kiss >w< thy xDD hand; 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the ^.^ honyouwabwe tomb ^.^ he ÚwÚ sweaws 
:33 That >w< stands ;;w;; upon x3 youw royal :33 gwandsiwe's xDD bonyes, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the :33 woyawties of both x3 youw bwoods, 
>_< Cuwwents :3 that ^-^ spwing from one UwU most >_> gwacious head, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the buried uWu hand of warlike Gaunt, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the ^.^ wowth ÚwÚ and honour of himsewf, 
^-^ Compwising aww :3 that OwO may be sworn ow said, 
ÚwÚ His xDD coming ÚwÚ hithew hath nyo further ;;w;; scope 
Than fow :33 his :3 winyeaw ;;w;; woyawties, ÚwÚ and to ÚwÚ beg 
uWu Enfwanchisement x3 immediate on :33 his knees; 
>_< Which on >w< thy royal party >_> gwanted ^w^ once, 
ÚwÚ His gwittewing :3 awms ^.^ he xDD wiww ÚwÚ commend to x3 wust, 
ÚwÚ His bawbed OwO steeds to ^.^ stabwes, ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< heawt 
;;w;; To faithfuw OwO sewvice of x3 youw >_< Majesty. 
This ÚwÚ sweaws xDD he, >_< as ^.^ he >_> is :3 a >_< pwince, >_> is x3 just; 
xDD And >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman UwU I cwedit ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> Nyowthumbewwand, >_> say OwO thus x3 the ^w^ King wetuwns: 
ÚwÚ His x3 nyobwe xDD cousin >_> is >w< wight wewcome hithew; 
xDD And aww x3 the ^w^ nyumbew of :33 his >w< faiw uWu demands 
Shall be ;;w;; accompwish'd ^-^ without contradiction. 
With aww x3 the >_> gwacious :3 uttewance xDD thou x3 hast 
^w^ Speak to :33 his ^-^ gentwe hearing uWu kind uWu commends. 
:33 [To :3 AUMEWWE] We UwU do debase ;;w;; ouwsewves, OwO cousin, UwU do ^.^ we >_> nyot, 
;;w;; To wook UwU so poorly ÚwÚ and to speak UwU so uWu faiw? 
Shall ^.^ we caww back >_> Nyowthumbewwand, ÚwÚ and >_> send 
x3 Defiance to x3 the traitor, ÚwÚ and UwU so die? 
AUMERLE. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowd; >_> wet's >w< fight with ^-^ gentwe wowds 
Tiww time xDD wend OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fwiends uWu theiw helpful :3 swowds. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 O :33 God, x3 O uWu God! :3 that ;;w;; e'ew ÚwÚ this >_> tongue of >_< minye 
:33 That laid x3 the :33 sentence of xDD dwead UwU banyishment 
On >_< yon OwO pwoud x3 man >_> shouwd OwO take >w< it x3 off again 
With wowds of sooth! x3 O :3 that UwU I :3 wewe >_< as great 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 my gwief, ow wessew than x3 my xDD nyame! 
:33 Ow :3 that UwU I couwd x3 fowget >_> what UwU I uWu have >_< been! 
:33 Ow nyot remember >_> what UwU I ^w^ must be >_< nyow! 
Swell'st UwU thou, OwO pwoud ÚwÚ heawt? I'll UwU give uWu thee ;;w;; scope to beat, 
Since ^-^ foes uWu have ;;w;; scope to xDD beat both uWu thee ÚwÚ and x3 me. 
AUMERLE. ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand x3 comes back from ^.^ Bowingbwoke. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> What ^w^ must x3 the ^w^ King UwU do ^.^ nyow? :3 Must ^.^ he >_< submit? 
uWu The ^w^ King UwU shaww UwU do :3 it. :3 Must ^.^ he be :3 depos'd? 
uWu The ^w^ King UwU shaww be ÚwÚ contented. :3 Must ^.^ he wose 
uWu The xDD nyame of UwU king? ^-^ A >_> God's :33 nyame, wet >w< it ÚwÚ go. 
I'll UwU give x3 my :3 jewews fow :3 a uWu set of x3 beads, 
OwO My gowgeous ^w^ pawace fow :3 a hewmitage, 
OwO My x3 gay apparel fow >w< an OwO awmsman's x3 gown, 
OwO My x3 figuw'd :3 gobwets fow :3 a ^w^ dish of wood, 
OwO My sceptre fow :3 a pawmew's ^.^ wawking staff, 
OwO My subjects fow :3 a :33 paiw of x3 cawved UwU saints, 
xDD And x3 my large ^w^ kingdom fow :3 a xDD wittwe ^-^ gwave, 
^-^ A xDD wittwe xDD wittwe ^-^ gwave, >w< an uWu obscuwe grave- 
:33 Ow I'll be buried uWu in x3 the >_< king's xDD high :3 way, 
;;w;; Some uWu way of ^w^ common twade, :3 whewe >w< subjects' ;;w;; feet 
^-^ May hourly x3 twampwe on uWu theiw ^.^ suvweign's head; 
For on x3 my >_< heawt ;;w;; they ;;w;; twead nyow whiwst UwU I x3 wive, 
xDD And buried ^w^ once, >w< why nyot ;;w;; upon x3 my head? 
xDD Aumewwe, xDD thou :3 weep'st, x3 my ^.^ tendew-heawted x3 cousin! 
^-^ We'ww >_< make fouw >_> weathew with :3 despised teaws; 
Our :3 sighs ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they UwU shaww uWu wodge x3 the ^-^ summew corn 
xDD And >_< make :3 a dearth uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu wevowting xDD wand. 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ^.^ we :33 pway x3 the wantons with UwU ouw :3 woes 
xDD And >_< make x3 some OwO pwetty >_< match with >_> shedding teaws? 
;;w;; As thus: to >_< dwop them still ;;w;; upon one :33 pwace 
Tiww ;;w;; they uWu have ^w^ fwetted >_> us :3 a :33 paiw of gwaves 
OwO Within x3 the ^w^ eawth; x3 and, thewein x3 waid-thewe wies 
Two >_< kinsmen xDD digg'd uWu theiw gwaves with weeping :3 eyes. 
Wouwd nyot ÚwÚ this :33 iww UwU do ^.^ weww? xDD Weww, weww, UwU I >_> see 
UwU I tawk >_> but >_> idwy, ÚwÚ and xDD you laugh uWu at x3 me. 
:3 Most ^-^ mighty >_< pwince, x3 my Lord >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
>_> What ;;w;; says ^w^ King Bolingbroke? Will :33 his ;;w;; Majesty 
Give Richard OwO weave to ^w^ wive >w< tiww Richard die? 
>_> You >_< make :3 a ^-^ weg, ÚwÚ and :3 Bowingbwoke ;;w;; says ^w^ ay. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. OwO My uWu wowd, uWu in x3 the UwU base court ^.^ he xDD doth >_< attend 
;;w;; To speak with uWu you; OwO may >w< it uWu pwease xDD you to come down? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Down, down UwU I come, ^.^ wike :33 gwist'wing >_< Phaethon, 
:3 Wanting x3 the manage of ^-^ unwuwy :3 jades. 
^w^ In x3 the UwU base ^w^ couwt? >w< Base xDD couwt, :3 whewe >w< kings gwow base, 
;;w;; To come uWu at >_> twaitows' calls, ÚwÚ and UwU do them grace. 
^w^ In x3 the UwU base ^w^ couwt? :3 Come down? Down, court! ;;w;; down, x3 king! 
For night-owls shriek :3 whewe ^w^ mounting larks >_> shouwd ;;w;; sing. 
Exeunt from :33 abuv 
BOLINGBROKE. >_> What ;;w;; says :33 his ÚwÚ Majesty? 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. OwO Sowwow ÚwÚ and grief of >_< heawt 
:3 Makes ^.^ him speak fondly, ^.^ wike :3 a frantic xDD man; 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ he >_> is x3 come. 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; KING, ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu attendants, bewow 

BOLINGBROKE. ;;w;; Stand aww >_< apawt, 
xDD And x3 show >w< faiw >_> duty to :33 his >_< Majesty. [He knyeews down] 
OwO My >_> gwacious wowd- 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Faiw OwO cousin, xDD you debase x3 youw princely knyee 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the UwU base ^.^ eawth OwO pwoud with xDD kissing :3 it. 
x3 Me rather xDD had x3 my >_< heawt ^w^ might x3 feew x3 youw wuv 
Than x3 my uWu unpweas'd ^w^ eye >_> see x3 youw uWu couwtesy. 
^-^ Up, OwO cousin, xDD up; x3 youw >_< heawt >_> is up, UwU I knyow, 
xDD [Touching :33 his UwU own UwU head] ^-^ Thus xDD high uWu at least, awthough x3 youw 
knyee be wow. 
BOLINGBROKE. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, UwU I come >_> but fow >_< minye own. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu Youw UwU own >_> is >_< youws, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am >_< youws, ÚwÚ and all. 
BOLINGBROKE. ^w^ So uWu faw be >_> minye, x3 my UwU most wedoubted uWu wowd, 
;;w;; As x3 my true OwO sewvice UwU shaww OwO desewve x3 youw love. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Weww xDD you deserve. ^-^ They weww OwO desewve to uWu have 
:33 That ^.^ knyow x3 the stwong'st ÚwÚ and >_> suwest uWu way to ^w^ get. 
>_> Uncwe, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw hands; x3 nyay, xDD dwy x3 youw xDD eyes: 
Tears x3 show uWu theiw xDD wuv, >_> but ^.^ want uWu theiw wemedies. 
Cousin, UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too xDD young to be x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, 
;;w;; Though xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; owd enough to be x3 my ÚwÚ heiw. 
>_> What xDD you xDD wiww have, I'll give, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wiwwing :3 too; 
For UwU do ^.^ we ^w^ must >_> what force xDD wiww uWu have >_> us xDD do. 
Set on uWu towawds OwO Wondon. Cousin, >_> is >w< it so? 
BOLINGBROKE. Yea, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Then UwU I ^w^ must nyot >_> say >w< nyo. >w< Fwouwish. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 
uWu The ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YOWK's >_< gawden 

Entew x3 the >w< QUEEN ÚwÚ and >w< two :3 WADIES 

QUEEN. >_> What spowt UwU shaww ^.^ we >w< devise OwO hewe uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< gawden 
;;w;; To UwU dwive OwO away x3 the x3 heavy xDD thought of >_> cawe? 
WADY. uWu Madam, we'll :33 pway uWu at ^.^ bowws. 
QUEEN. 'Twiww >_< make ;;w;; me think x3 the wowwd >_> is full of :33 wubs 
xDD And :3 that x3 my :3 fowtunye wuns OwO against x3 the OwO bias. 
WADY. uWu Madam, we'll >_< dance. 
QUEEN. OwO My UwU wegs ^.^ can >_< keep nyo UwU measuwe uWu in OwO dewight, 
x3 When x3 my poor >_< heawt nyo UwU measuwe keeps uWu in gwief; 
Therefore nyo ;;w;; dancing, girl; x3 some othew ;;w;; spowt. 
WADY. uWu Madam, we'll tell ^-^ tawes. 
QUEEN. Of sorrow ow of ;;w;; joy? 
WADY. Of ^-^ eithew, UwU madam. 
QUEEN. Of nyeithew, girl; 
For >_> if of joy, ^.^ being ;;w;; awtogethew wanting, 
^.^ It xDD doth remember ;;w;; me x3 the ^.^ mowe of sorrow; 
:33 Ow >_> if of gwief, ^.^ being ;;w;; awtogethew :33 had, 
^.^ It adds ^.^ mowe sorrow to x3 my ^.^ want of :33 joy; 
For >_> what UwU I uWu have UwU I >_< nyeed nyot to :33 wepeat, 
xDD And >_> what UwU I ^.^ want >w< it ÚwÚ boots nyot to OwO compwain. 
WADY. uWu Madam, I'll ;;w;; sing. 
QUEEN. 'Tis >_> weww' :3 that xDD thou x3 hast cause; 
OwO But xDD thou shouwdst uWu pwease ;;w;; me xDD bettew wouldst xDD thou >_> weep. 
WADY. UwU I couwd >_> weep, UwU madam, ^.^ wouwd >w< it UwU do xDD you UwU good. 
QUEEN. xDD And UwU I couwd ^w^ sing, ^.^ wouwd weeping UwU do ;;w;; me UwU good, 
xDD And >_< nyevew :3 bowwow xDD any teaw of thee. 

Entew :3 a GARDENER ÚwÚ and >w< two ^-^ SEWVANTS 

OwO But ;;w;; stay, OwO hewe come x3 the >_> gawdenyews. 
:3 Wet's :33 step x3 into x3 the :3 shadow of these trees. 
OwO My ^-^ wwetchednyess >w< unto :3 a wow of pins, 
^-^ They xDD wiww tawk of state, fow every one xDD doth UwU so 
^w^ Against :3 a ÚwÚ change: woe >_> is UwU fowewun with woe. 
xDD [QUEEN ÚwÚ and :3 WADIES >_> wetiwe] 
GARDENER. ^w^ Go, bind xDD thou x3 up >_< yon >_< dangwing OwO apwicocks, 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike ^-^ unwuwy chiwdwen, >_< make uWu theiw >w< siwe 
^-^ Stoop with oppwession of uWu theiw prodigal ^w^ weight; 
Give x3 some supportance to x3 the x3 bending ^-^ twigs. 
Go UwU thou, ÚwÚ and Eke >w< an executioner 
Cut x3 off x3 the heads of ^w^ too ÚwÚ fast >_< gwowing spways 
:33 That wook ^w^ too wofty uWu in UwU ouw commonweawth: 
All ^w^ must be even uWu in UwU ouw >_< guvwnment. 
>_> You OwO thus >w< empwoy'd, UwU I xDD wiww OwO go ^.^ woot OwO away 
uWu The ^-^ nyoisome UwU weeds which ^-^ without pwofit uWu suck 
uWu The >w< soiw's fertility from whowesome fwowews. 
SEWVANT. Why >_> shouwd :33 we, uWu in x3 the compass of :3 a pawe, 
^w^ Keep law ÚwÚ and >_< fowm ÚwÚ and >_< due proportion, 
>w< Showing, >_< as uWu in :3 a >w< modew, UwU ouw >w< fiwm x3 estate, 
x3 When UwU ouw ^-^ sea-wawwed gawden, x3 the whole land, 
Is full of ^w^ weeds; her >_> faiwest fwowews chok'd up, 
:3 Hew ^w^ fwuit trees aww :33 unpwun'd, her x3 hedges ruin'd, 
:3 Hew OwO knyots ÚwÚ disowdewed, ÚwÚ and her whowesome >w< hewbs 
UwU Swawming with xDD catewpiwwaws? 
GARDENER. :33 Howd >w< thy peace. 
>w< He :3 that hath ^w^ suffew'd ÚwÚ this disorder'd ^-^ spwing 
>_< Hath nyow >_< himsewf >w< met with x3 the faww of ^.^ weaf; 
uWu The UwU weeds which :33 his UwU bwoad-spweading >w< weaves uWu did shewtew, 
:33 That ^w^ seem'd uWu in uWu eating ^.^ him to howd ^.^ him up, 
^w^ Awe ^w^ pwuck'd x3 up ^.^ woot ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ by ^-^ Bowingbwoke- 
UwU I >_> mean x3 the ^-^ Eaww of OwO Wiwtshiwe, x3 Bushy, ^w^ Gween. 
SEWVANT. What, OwO awe ;;w;; they dead? 
GARDENER. ^-^ They >_< awe; ÚwÚ and :3 Bowingbwoke 
>_< Hath :3 seiz'd x3 the ^w^ wastefuw ;;w;; King. >_< O, >_> what pity >_> is >w< it 
:33 That ^.^ he xDD had nyot UwU so trimm'd ÚwÚ and dwess'd :33 his ÚwÚ wand 
;;w;; As ^.^ we ÚwÚ this :33 gawden! We uWu at time of xDD yeaw 
Do ;;w;; wound x3 the bawk, x3 the uWu skin of UwU ouw ^w^ fwuit trees, 
Lest, ^.^ being over-proud uWu in sap ÚwÚ and bwood, 
With ^w^ too much ^w^ wiches >w< it confound >_< itsewf; 
xDD Had ^.^ he donye UwU so to great ÚwÚ and >_< gwowing men, 
^-^ They ^w^ might uWu have >_> Ev'd to >_> beaw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he to >_> taste 
^-^ Theiw ÚwÚ fwuits of duty. ^.^ Supewfwuous ^-^ bwanches 
We wop away, :3 that :33 beawing ^-^ boughs OwO may ÚwÚ wive; 
xDD Had ^.^ he donye >_> so, >_< himsewf xDD had ^.^ home x3 the :3 cwown, 
>_< Which uWu waste of idle >_> houws hath quite :33 thwown down. 
SEWVANT. What, think xDD you x3 the ^w^ King UwU shaww be deposed? 
GARDENER. Depwess'd ^.^ he >_> is already, ÚwÚ and :3 depos'd 
'Tis doubt ^.^ he xDD wiww >w< be. >_< Wettews ^-^ came >w< wast >w< nyight 
;;w;; To :3 a uWu deaw :33 fwiend of x3 the ÚwÚ good >w< Duke of >w< Yowk's 
:33 That tell black UwU tidings. 
QUEEN. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am OwO pwess'd to :33 death ^w^ thwough ^.^ want of >_> speaking! 
[Coming forward] 
Thou, ;;w;; owd :3 Adam's likeness, uWu set to :3 dwess ÚwÚ this gawden, 
How x3 dawes >w< thy UwU hawsh wude >_> tongue >_> sound ÚwÚ this ;;w;; unpweasing nyews? 
>_> What Eve, >_> what sewpent, hath uWu suggested x3 the 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a second faww of uWu cuwsed man? 
Why dost xDD thou >_> say ^w^ King Richard >_> is :3 depos'd? 
uWu Daw'st UwU thou, xDD thou xDD wittwe xDD bettew ^.^ thing than earth, 
Divine :33 his downfaww? Say, where, xDD when, ÚwÚ and how, 
Cam'st xDD thou ^.^ by ÚwÚ this :33 iww x3 tidings? ÚwÚ Speak, xDD thou >_> wwetch. 
GARDENER. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, x3 madam; xDD wittwe joy uWu have 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bweathe ÚwÚ this nyews; yet >_> what UwU I >_> say >_> is true. 
^w^ King ^.^ Wichawd, ^.^ he >_> is uWu in x3 the ^-^ mighty howd 
Of ^.^ Bowingbwoke. ^-^ Theiw fowtunyes both OwO awe weigh'd. 
^w^ In x3 youw UwU wowd's scale >_> is >_< nyothing >_> but himsewf, 
xDD And x3 some x3 few vanities :3 that >_< make ^.^ him >_> wight; 
OwO But uWu in x3 the ^w^ bawance of great ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, 
Besides himsewf, OwO awe aww x3 the :3 Engwish ^-^ peews, 
xDD And with :3 that ^w^ odds ^.^ he :3 weighs ^w^ King Richard down. 
:33 Post xDD you to Wondon, ÚwÚ and xDD you xDD wiww find >w< it so; 
UwU I speak nyo ^.^ mowe than every one xDD doth :33 knyow. 
QUEEN. Nimble uWu mischance, :3 that awt UwU so >w< wight of xDD foot, 
^-^ Doth nyot >w< thy :3 embassage OwO bewong to uWu me, 
xDD And ^w^ am UwU I >w< wast :3 that xDD knyows :33 it? >_< O, xDD thou >_> thinkest 
;;w;; To serve ;;w;; me last, :3 that UwU I OwO may xDD wongest >_< keep 
x3 Thy sorrow uWu in x3 my UwU bweast. ^.^ Come, x3 wadies, OwO go 
;;w;; To :3 meet uWu at ;;w;; Wondon London's ^w^ King uWu in woe. 
What, UwU was UwU I bown to uWu this, :3 that x3 my >_> sad wook 
Should xDD gwace x3 the twiumph of great Bolingbroke? 
;;w;; Gawd'nyew, fow :3 tewwing ;;w;; me these nyews of woe, 
>_> Pway ^w^ God x3 the x3 pwants xDD thou >_< gwaft'st OwO may >_< nyevew grow! 
Exeunt >w< QUEEN ÚwÚ and :3 WADIES 
GARDENER. OwO Poow :3 Queen, UwU so :3 that >w< thy >w< state ^w^ might be nyo ^-^ wowse, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my :3 skiww :3 wewe x3 subject to >w< thy cuwse. 
:3 Hewe uWu did ^.^ she faww :3 a >_< teaw; OwO hewe uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 pwace 
I'll uWu set :3 a ^.^ bank of uWu wue, :3 souw OwO hewb of grace. 
x3 Wue, even fow ^-^ wuth, OwO hewe x3 showtwy UwU shaww be uWu seen, 
^w^ In x3 the wemembwance of :3 a weeping >w< queen. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
^-^ Westminstew Haww 

OwO Entew, >_< as to x3 the Pawwiament, BOLINGBROKE, AUMEWWE, OwO NyOWTHUMBEWWAND, ^w^ PEWCY, 
FITZWATER, uWu SUWWEY, x3 the xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF CARLISLE, x3 the ABBOT ÚwÚ OF ;;w;; WESTMINSTEW, 
ÚwÚ and :3 othews; HERALD, ^w^ OFFICEWS, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ BAGOT 

BOLINGBROKE. ;;w;; Caww fowth >_> Bagot. 
>_> Nyow, ;;w;; Bagot, freely speak >w< thy uWu mind- 
>_> What xDD thou dost ^.^ knyow of x3 nyobwe :3 Gwoucestew's ÚwÚ death; 
Who ;;w;; wwought >w< it with x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and who pewfowm'd 
uWu The bwoody ^.^ office of :33 his timewess OwO end. 
;;w;; BAGOT. UwU Then uWu set >w< befowe x3 my OwO face x3 the Lord ^.^ Aumewwe. 
BOLINGBROKE. Cousin, stand ^-^ fowth, ÚwÚ and wook ;;w;; upon :3 that man. 
;;w;; BAGOT. OwO My Lord xDD Aumewwe, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw daring >_> tongue 
UwU Scowns to ^.^ unsay >_> what >_> once >w< it hath :33 dewivew'd. 
^w^ In :3 that >_< dead time when :3 Gwoucestew's :33 death UwU was ^-^ pwotted 
UwU I heard xDD you >_> say 'Is nyot x3 my awm of ÚwÚ wength, 
:33 That :33 weacheth from x3 the OwO westfuw :3 Engwish UwU Couwt 
;;w;; As uWu faw >_< as OwO Cawais, to >_< minye ^-^ uncwe's ;;w;; head?' 
^-^ Amongst much othew tawk :3 that xDD vewy time 
UwU I heard xDD you >_> say :3 that xDD you xDD had rather refuse 
uWu The offer of >w< an :3 hundwed thousand :3 cwowns 
Than uWu Bowingbwoke's ^-^ wetuwn to x3 Engwand; 
ÚwÚ Adding withaw, >w< how bwest ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand ^.^ wouwd be 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this x3 youw uWu cousin's death. 
AUMERLE. Pwinces, ÚwÚ and x3 nyobwe wowds, 
>_> What answew UwU shaww UwU I >_< make to ÚwÚ this UwU base man? 
Shall UwU I UwU so much x3 dishonyouw x3 my >w< faiw stars 
On equal terms to UwU give ^.^ him :3 chastisement? 
^-^ Eithew UwU I ;;w;; must, ow uWu have >_< minye honour ^.^ soiw'd 
With x3 the >_> attaindew of :33 his slanderous x3 wips. 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 my ^.^ gage, x3 the manual UwU seaw of :33 death 
:33 That >w< mawks uWu thee x3 out fow uWu heww. UwU I >_> say xDD thou liest, 
xDD And xDD wiww ÚwÚ maintain >_> what xDD thou x3 hast uWu said >_> is UwU fawse 
^w^ In >w< thy ;;w;; heawt-bwood, ^w^ thwough ^.^ being aww ^w^ too UwU base 
;;w;; To stain x3 the xDD tempew of x3 my knyightwy ^-^ swowd. 
BOLINGBROKE. ;;w;; Bagot, >_< fowbeaw; xDD thou shalt nyot OwO take >w< it :33 up. 
AUMERLE. >_< Excepting one, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he :3 wewe x3 the best 
^w^ In aww ÚwÚ this x3 pwesence :3 that hath x3 mov'd ;;w;; me :3 so. 
FITZWATER. ;;w;; If :3 that >w< thy valour stand on :33 sympathy, 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 my ^.^ gage, xDD Aumewwe, uWu in >w< gage to ÚwÚ thinye. 
^-^ By :3 that >w< faiw sun which >_< shows ;;w;; me :3 whewe xDD thou :3 stand'st, 
UwU I heard uWu thee say, ÚwÚ and vauntingwy xDD thou spak'st :33 it, 
:33 That xDD thou OwO wewt cause of x3 nyobwe :3 Gwoucestew's death. 
;;w;; If xDD thou xDD denyiest >w< it ÚwÚ twenty xDD times, xDD thou ^w^ wiest; 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww turn >w< thy UwU fawsehood to >w< thy uWu heawt, 
Whewe >w< it UwU was forged, with x3 my ÚwÚ wapiew's point. 
AUMERLE. ^.^ Thou ^w^ daw'st >_> nyot, xDD cowawd, ^w^ wive to >_> see :3 that x3 day. 
FITZWATER. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my x3 souw, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it :3 wewe ÚwÚ this hour. 
AUMERLE. ^-^ Fitzwatew, xDD thou awt damn'd to heww fow UwU this. 
^-^ PEWCY. xDD Aumewwe, xDD thou ^w^ wiest; :33 his honour >_> is >_< as true 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this appeaw >_< as xDD thou awt >w< an x3 unjust; 
xDD And :3 that xDD thou awt >_> so, there UwU I ^-^ thwow x3 my ^.^ gage, 
;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv >w< it on uWu thee to x3 the extremest :33 point 
Of >w< mowtaw :3 bweathing. >_> Seize :33 it, >_> if xDD thou dar'st. 
AUMERLE. ^-^ An >_> if UwU I UwU do >_> nyot, OwO may x3 my ^.^ hands uWu wot of 
xDD And >_< nyevew bwandish ^.^ mowe UwU wevengefuw steew 
Over x3 the gwittewing hewmet of x3 my >_> foe! 
ANyOTHEW WOWD. UwU I :3 task x3 the ^.^ eawth to x3 the :3 wike, ;;w;; fowswown :33 Aumewwe; 
xDD And ^w^ spuw uWu thee on with xDD fun >_< as UwU many wies 
;;w;; As OwO may be halloa'd uWu in >w< thy treacherous ear 
Fwom sun to OwO sun. >_> Thewe >_> is x3 my x3 honyouw's xDD pawn; 
>_< Engage >w< it to x3 the OwO twiaw, >_> if xDD thou ^.^ dawest. 
AUMERLE. Who :33 sets ;;w;; me else? ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, I'll ^-^ thwow uWu at :33 aww! 
UwU I uWu have :3 a thousand ;;w;; spiwits uWu in one breast 
;;w;; To answew ÚwÚ twenty thousand xDD such >_< as OwO you. 
SUWWEY. OwO My Lord ^-^ Fitzwatew, UwU I UwU do remember weww 
uWu The xDD vewy time :3 Aumewwe ÚwÚ and xDD you uWu did ^-^ tawk. 
FITZWATER. 'Tis xDD vewy true; xDD you :3 wewe uWu in x3 pwesence >w< then, 
xDD And xDD you ^.^ can >_> witnyess with ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this >_> is true. 
SUWWEY. ;;w;; As :3 fawse, ^.^ by ^.^ heaven, >_< as heaven itsewf >_> is true. 
FITZWATER. uWu Suwwey, xDD thou liest. 
SUWWEY. Dishonourable ^.^ boy! 
:33 That >_< wie UwU shaww >_< wie UwU so x3 heavy on x3 my xDD swowd 
:33 That >w< it UwU shaww render UwU vengeance ÚwÚ and xDD wevenge 
Tiww xDD thou x3 the lie-giver ÚwÚ and :3 that >_< wie UwU do ^.^ he 
^w^ In ^.^ eawth >_< as :33 quiet >_< as >w< thy father's OwO skuww. 
^w^ In xDD pwoof UwU wheweof, there >_> is x3 my x3 honyouw's xDD pawn; 
>_< Engage >w< it to x3 the OwO twiaw, >_> if xDD thou dar'st. 
FITZWATER. How fondwy dost xDD thou ^w^ spuw :3 a forward UwU howse! 
;;w;; If UwU I dawe uWu eat, ow dwink, ow ^w^ bweathe, ow x3 wive, 
UwU I dawe :3 meet Surrey uWu in :3 a xDD wiwdewnyess, 
xDD And spit ;;w;; upon ^.^ him whiwst UwU I >_> say ^.^ he lies, 
xDD And lies, ÚwÚ and uWu wies. >_> Thewe >_> is x3 my :3 bond of ^w^ faith, 
;;w;; To :33 tie uWu thee to x3 my >w< stwong :3 cowwection. 
;;w;; As UwU I intend to x3 thwive uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 nyew ^w^ wowwd, 
:3 Aumewwe >_> is guiwty of x3 my true :3 appeaw. 
:33 Besides, UwU I heard x3 the banyish'd Norfolk >_> say 
:33 That UwU thou, xDD Aumewwe, :33 didst >_> send >w< two of >w< thy ;;w;; men 
;;w;; To :33 execute x3 the x3 nyobwe >w< Duke uWu at Cawais. 
AUMERLE. ;;w;; Some xDD honyest Christian :33 twust ;;w;; me with :3 a >w< gage 
:33 That Norfolk uWu wies. :3 Hewe UwU do UwU I ^-^ thwow down uWu this, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he OwO may be :33 wepeaw'd to >_> twy :33 his honyouw. 
BOLINGBROKE. ;;w;; These ÚwÚ diffewences UwU shaww aww xDD west :33 undew >w< gage 
Tiww Norfolk be x3 wepeaw'd-wepeaw'd ^.^ he UwU shaww be 
^.^ And, ^w^ though >_< minye enyemy, :33 westow'd again 
;;w;; To aww :33 his ^-^ wands ÚwÚ and :3 signyowies. x3 When ^.^ he >_> is :3 wetuwn'd, 
^w^ Against :3 Aumewwe ^.^ we xDD wiww enforce :33 his trial. 
>_> CAWWISWE. :33 That ^.^ honyouwabwe day UwU shaww >_< nyevew be ÚwÚ seen. 
xDD Many :3 a time hath banyish'd Norfolk ÚwÚ fought 
For >_< Jesu ^-^ Chwist uWu in glorious Christian >_> fiewd, 
Stweaming x3 the ensign of x3 the Christian OwO cwoss 
^w^ Against black >_> pagans, Tuwks, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Sawacens; 
^.^ And, toil'd with wowks of waw, >_> wetiw'd >_< himsewf 
;;w;; To >w< Itawy; ÚwÚ and thewe, uWu at >_> Venyice, uWu gave 
ÚwÚ His >w< body to :3 that >_> pweasant >_> countwy's earth, 
xDD And :33 his puwe :3 souw >w< unto :33 his ;;w;; captain, Christ, 
;;w;; Undew x3 whose cowouws ^.^ he xDD had ÚwÚ fought UwU so wong. 
BOLINGBROKE. Why, ^.^ Bishop, >_> is Norfolk dead? 
>_> CAWWISWE. ;;w;; As x3 suwewy >_< as UwU I x3 wive, x3 my OwO wowd. 
BOLINGBROKE. ÚwÚ Sweet uWu peace ÚwÚ conduct :33 his x3 sweet :3 souw to x3 the ^w^ bosom 
Of ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd ^.^ Abwaham! Lords OwO appewwants, 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ diffewences UwU shaww aww xDD west :33 undew >w< gage 
Tiww ^.^ we assign xDD you to x3 youw OwO days of uWu twiaw 

Entew YORK, ^w^ attended 

:3 YOWK. UwU Gweat >w< Duke of Lancaster, UwU I come to x3 the 
Fwom ^.^ pwume-pwuck'd ^.^ Wichawd, who with ^.^ wiwwing :3 souw 
Adopts uWu thee heiw, ÚwÚ and :33 his xDD high sceptre yiewds 
;;w;; To x3 the >w< possession of >w< thy royal >w< hand. 
:3 Ascend :33 his throne, ^w^ descending nyow from uWu him- 
xDD And ^-^ wong ^w^ wive Henry, :3 fouwth of :3 that xDD nyame! 
BOLINGBROKE. ^w^ In >_> God's :33 nyame, I'll >_> ascend x3 the xDD wegaw thwonye. 
>_> CAWWISWE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ God fowbid! 
UwU Wowst uWu in ÚwÚ this royal x3 pwesence OwO may UwU I :3 speak, 
ÚwÚ Yet best x3 beseeming ;;w;; me to speak x3 the truth. 
Wouwd ^w^ God :3 that xDD any uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe x3 pwesence 
^.^ Wewe enough x3 nyobwe to be ^w^ upwight OwO judge 
Of x3 nyobwe Richard! UwU Then true noblesse ^.^ wouwd 
;;w;; Weawn ^.^ him ÚwÚ fowbeawance from UwU so fouw :3 a wrong. 
>_> What x3 subject ^.^ can UwU give :33 sentence on :33 his UwU king? 
xDD And who >_> sits OwO hewe :3 that >_> is nyot >w< Wichawd's >w< subject? 
Thieves OwO awe nyot xDD judg'd >_> but ;;w;; they OwO awe ^.^ by to heaw, 
Awthough apparent guilt be :3 seen uWu in OwO them; 
xDD And UwU shaww x3 the xDD figuwe of >_> God's ^.^ majesty, 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; captain, x3 stewawd, OwO deputy ÚwÚ ewect, 
>w< Anyointed, >w< cwownyed, ^-^ pwanted UwU many years, 
^w^ Be xDD judg'd ^.^ by x3 subject ÚwÚ and :33 infewiow :33 bweath, 
xDD And ^.^ he >_< himsewf nyot pwesent? >_< O, xDD fowfend :33 it, :33 God, 
:33 That uWu in :3 a Christian x3 cwimate >w< souws uWu wefin'd 
Should x3 show UwU so uWu heinyous, black, ^w^ obscenye :3 a >w< deed! 
UwU I speak to xDD subjects, ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 subject speaks, 
:33 Stiww'd x3 up ^.^ by :33 God, OwO thus OwO bowdwy fow :33 his king. 
OwO My Lord of Hewefowd UwU hewe, ÚwÚ whom xDD you caww OwO king, 
Is :3 a fouw traitor to OwO pwoud >w< Hewefowd's uWu king; 
xDD And >_> if xDD you >_< cwown :3 him, wet ;;w;; me prophesy- 
uWu The :3 bwood of :3 Engwish UwU shaww manure x3 the ground, 
xDD And ÚwÚ futuwe uWu ages gwoan fow ÚwÚ this fouw ÚwÚ act; 
:3 Peace UwU shaww OwO go :33 sweep with Turks ÚwÚ and infidews, 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu seat of uWu peace :33 tumuwtuous UwU waws 
Shall ^-^ kin with ^-^ kin ÚwÚ and uWu kind with uWu kind confound; 
>_< Disowdew, howwow, ;;w;; feaw, ÚwÚ and mutiny, 
Shall OwO hewe >_> inhabit, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand be ^w^ caww'd 
uWu The field of Golgotha ÚwÚ and >_< dead men's :33 skuwws. 
>_< O, >_> if xDD you >w< waise ÚwÚ this ;;w;; house OwO against ÚwÚ this house, 
^.^ It xDD wiww x3 the ^w^ woefuwwest OwO division ^-^ pwuv 
:33 That OwO evew UwU feww ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this uWu cuwsed ;;w;; eawth. 
Prevent :33 it, :3 wesist :33 it, wet >w< it nyot be >_> so, 
Lest child, chiwd's chiwdwen, cwy OwO against xDD you woe. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. Weww uWu have xDD you x3 awgued, siw; x3 and, fow x3 youw pains, 
Of >w< capitaw UwU tweason ^.^ we ;;w;; awwest xDD you hewe. 
OwO My Lord of Westminstew, be >w< it x3 youw :3 chawge 
;;w;; To >_< keep ^.^ him >w< safewy >w< tiww :33 his day of trial. 
^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, wowds, to gwant x3 the OwO commons' suit? 
BOLINGBROKE. ^-^ Fetch ÚwÚ hithew ^.^ Wichawd, :3 that uWu in ^w^ common x3 view 
>w< He OwO may surrender; UwU so ^.^ we UwU shaww proceed 
Without suspicion. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I xDD wiww be :33 his x3 conduct. uWu Exit 
BOLINGBROKE. ;;w;; Wowds, xDD you :3 that OwO hewe OwO awe :33 undew UwU ouw x3 awwest, 
Procure x3 youw suweties fow x3 youw OwO days of answer. 
>_< Wittwe OwO awe ^.^ we beholding to x3 youw xDD wuv, 
xDD And xDD wittwe >_> wook'd fow uWu at x3 youw ;;w;; hewping ^w^ hands. 

^.^ We-entew YORK, with ;;w;; KING WICHAWD, ÚwÚ and OFFICEWS 
:33 beawing x3 the ^-^ wegawia 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD Awack, >w< why ^w^ am UwU I sent fow to :3 a OwO king, 
^.^ Befowe UwU I uWu have >_> shook x3 off x3 the xDD wegaw >_< thoughts 
Wherewith UwU I x3 weign'd? UwU I hardly yet uWu have weawn'd 
;;w;; To >_< insinyuate, fwattew, UwU bow, ÚwÚ and >w< bend x3 my uWu knyee. 
Give sorrow OwO weave ^-^ awhiwe to ;;w;; tutow ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this ;;w;; submission. ÚwÚ Yet UwU I weww remember 
uWu The ;;w;; favouws of these ^.^ men. ^.^ Wewe ;;w;; they nyot mine? 
Did ;;w;; they nyot ÚwÚ sometime cwy 'All haiw!' to me? 
^w^ So :3 Judas uWu did to Christ; >_> but xDD he, uWu in twewve, 
x3 Found uWu twuth uWu in aww >_> but onye; I, uWu in >_< twewve ;;w;; thousand, none. 
^w^ God :3 save x3 the King! Will nyo x3 man >_> say uWu amen? 
^w^ Am UwU I both priest ÚwÚ and >_< cwewk? Weww >w< then, amen. 
^w^ God :3 save x3 the King! awthough UwU I be nyot he; 
xDD And ^w^ yet, >w< amen, >_> if heaven UwU do think ^.^ him x3 me. 
;;w;; To UwU do >_> what OwO sewvice ^w^ am UwU I sent fow uWu hithew? 
:3 YOWK. ;;w;; To UwU do :3 that ^.^ office of ^.^ thinye UwU own ÚwÚ good xDD wiww 
>_< Which ^w^ tiwed ^.^ majesty uWu did >_< make uWu thee offer- 
uWu The :3 wesignyation of >w< thy >w< state ÚwÚ and >_< cwown 
;;w;; To Henwy ^.^ Bowingbwoke. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Give ;;w;; me x3 the crown. Here, OwO cousin, x3 seize x3 the crown. 
Here, OwO cousin, 
On ÚwÚ this x3 side x3 my uWu hand, ÚwÚ and on :3 that x3 side ÚwÚ thinye. 
Now >_> is ÚwÚ this golden >_< cwown ^.^ wike :3 a >_> deep weww 
:33 That >_> owes >w< two ;;w;; buckets, filling one another; 
uWu The emptier OwO evew UwU dancing uWu in x3 the air, 
uWu The othew ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ unseen, ÚwÚ and full of >_> watew. 
:33 That ^-^ bucket down ÚwÚ and xDD fun of tears ^w^ am I, 
Dwinking x3 my ^.^ gwiefs, whiwst xDD you ^-^ mount x3 up on xDD high. 
BOLINGBROKE. UwU I xDD thought xDD you xDD had :33 been ^.^ wiwwing to resign. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. OwO My >_< cwown UwU I am; >_> but still x3 my griefs OwO awe ^w^ minye. 
>_> You OwO may x3 my :33 gwowies ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< state >_< depose, 
OwO But nyot x3 my OwO gwiefs; still ^w^ am UwU I x3 king of x3 those. 
BOLINGBROKE. Pawt of x3 youw ÚwÚ cawes xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me with x3 youw crown. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu Youw ÚwÚ cawes uWu set x3 up UwU do nyot pluck x3 my ÚwÚ cawes down. 
OwO My :3 cawe >_> is ^-^ woss of care, ^.^ by ;;w;; owd :3 cawe donye; 
uWu Youw :3 cawe >_> is ^.^ gain of care, ^.^ by x3 nyew :3 cawe uWu won. 
uWu The ÚwÚ cawes UwU I UwU give UwU I have, ^w^ though UwU given :3 away; 
^-^ They tend x3 the :3 cwown, yet still with ;;w;; me ;;w;; they >_< stay. 
BOLINGBROKE. ^w^ Awe xDD you UwU contented to resign x3 the crown? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Ay, ^.^ nyo; no, ^-^ ay; fow UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyothing be; 
Therefore nyo no, fow UwU I resign to thee. 
Now mark ;;w;; me >w< how UwU I xDD wiww undo myself: 
UwU I UwU give ÚwÚ this x3 heavy >_> weight from x3 off x3 my head, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ unwiewdy sceptre from x3 my uWu hand, 
uWu The >_< pwide of >_> kingwy xDD sway from x3 out x3 my heawt; 
With >_< minye UwU own tears UwU I >_< wash OwO away x3 my balm, 
With >_< minye UwU own ^.^ hands UwU I UwU give OwO away x3 my :3 cwown, 
With >_< minye UwU own >_> tongue UwU deny x3 my uWu sacwed state, 
With >_< minye UwU own UwU bweath wewease aww duteous :3 oaths; 
All pomp ÚwÚ and ^.^ majesty UwU I UwU do ;;w;; fowsweaw; 
OwO My x3 manyows, UwU wents, :33 wevenyues, UwU I >_> fowgo; 
OwO My ;;w;; acts, decwees, ÚwÚ and xDD statutes, UwU I deny. 
^w^ God UwU pawdon aww >w< oaths :3 that OwO awe broke to me! 
^w^ God >_< keep aww x3 vows >_> unbwoke OwO awe UwU made to uWu thee! 
^-^ Make uWu me, :3 that >_< nyothing have, with >_< nyothing griev'd, 
xDD And xDD thou with aww >_< pweas'd, :3 that x3 hast >w< an achiev'd. 
OwO Wong uWu mayst xDD thou ^w^ wive uWu in >w< Wichawd's uWu seat to ^.^ sit, 
xDD And >w< soon >_< wie Richard uWu in >w< an ÚwÚ eawthwy OwO pit. 
^w^ God :3 save ^w^ King Henry, ^w^ unking'd Richard says, 
xDD And >_> send ^.^ him UwU many years of OwO sunshinye :33 days! 
>_> What ^.^ mowe UwU wemains? 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. No mowe; >_> but :3 that xDD you ^w^ wead 
;;w;; These >_> accusations, ÚwÚ and these ;;w;; gwievous crimes 
Committed ^.^ by x3 youw ÚwÚ pewson ÚwÚ and x3 youw ÚwÚ fowwowews 
^w^ Against x3 the >w< state ÚwÚ and pwofit of ÚwÚ this land; 
^.^ That, ^.^ by confessing ÚwÚ them, x3 the >w< souws of ;;w;; men 
^-^ May >w< deem :3 that xDD you OwO awe ^-^ wowthiwy depos'd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :3 Must UwU I UwU do so? xDD And ^w^ must UwU I wavew x3 out 
OwO My ^.^ weav'd-up UwU fowwies? ^w^ Gentwe >_> Nyowthumbewwand, 
;;w;; If >w< thy :3 offences :3 wewe ;;w;; upon record, 
Wouwd >w< it nyot ^-^ shame uWu thee uWu in UwU so >w< faiw :3 a troop 
;;w;; To ^w^ wead :3 a ^-^ wectuwe of them? ;;w;; If xDD thou wouldst, 
>_> Thewe shouwdst xDD thou find one ;;w;; heinyous x3 awticwe, 
Containing x3 the >_< deposing of :3 a x3 king 
xDD And cwacking x3 the >w< stwong :33 wawwant of >w< an ;;w;; oath, 
>_< Mawk'd with :3 a ^.^ bwot, damn'd uWu in x3 the ^w^ book of UwU heaven. 
Nyay, aww of xDD you :3 that stand ÚwÚ and wook ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me 
Whilst :3 that x3 my ^-^ wwetchednyess xDD doth x3 bait myself, 
;;w;; Though x3 some of UwU you, with OwO Piwate, >_< wash x3 youw ^.^ hands, 
^.^ Showing >w< an :33 outwawd ;;w;; pity-yet xDD you ÚwÚ Piwates 
:3 Have OwO hewe :33 dewivew'd ;;w;; me to x3 my :3 souw cwoss, 
xDD And UwU watew ;;w;; cannyot >_< wash OwO away x3 youw >_< sin. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD dispatch; ^w^ wead ^-^ o'ew these 
>w< awticwes. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Mine eyes OwO awe full of teaws; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^-^ see. 
xDD And yet ^-^ sawt UwU watew ^-^ bwinds them nyot UwU so much 
OwO But ;;w;; they ^.^ can >_> see :3 a ;;w;; sowt of traitors hewe. 
Nyay, >_> if UwU I turn >_< minye eyes ;;w;; upon myself, 
UwU I find mysewf :3 a traitor with x3 the rest; 
For UwU I uWu have UwU given OwO hewe x3 my x3 souw's >_< consent 
:33 T'undeck x3 the xDD pompous >w< body of :3 a uWu king; 
Made :3 gwowy base, ÚwÚ and UwU suvweignty :3 a :33 swave, 
Pwoud ^.^ majesty :3 a uWu subject, >w< state :3 a >_< peasant. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. OwO My wowd- 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. No ;;w;; wowd of xDD thinye, xDD thou ^-^ haught >_< insuwting ^w^ man, 
x3 Nyow nyo :33 man's wowd; UwU I uWu have nyo :33 nyame, nyo >_< tide- 
:3 Nyo, nyot :3 that xDD nyame UwU was UwU given ;;w;; me uWu at x3 the >w< font- 
OwO But UwU 'tis OwO usuwp'd. Alack x3 the x3 heavy ^-^ day, 
:33 That UwU I uWu have wown UwU so UwU many >w< wintews ^.^ out, 
xDD And ^.^ knyow nyot nyow >_> what xDD nyame to caww mysewf! 
x3 O :3 that UwU I :3 wewe :3 a mockewy x3 king of ;;w;; snyow, 
^w^ Standing >w< befowe x3 the sun of :3 Bowingbwoke 
;;w;; To :3 mewt mysewf OwO away uWu in UwU watew drops! 
^-^ Good OwO king, great OwO king, ÚwÚ and yet nyot OwO gweatwy UwU good, 
^-^ An >_> if x3 my ;;w;; wowd be sterling yet uWu in England, 
Let >w< it ÚwÚ command :3 a mirror ÚwÚ hithew stwaight, 
:33 That >w< it OwO may x3 show ;;w;; me >_> what :3 a OwO face UwU I uWu have 
Since >w< it >_> is >w< bankwupt of :33 his :33 majesty. 
BOLINGBROKE. Go x3 some of xDD you ÚwÚ and :3 fetch :3 a >w< wooking-gwass. 
uWu Exit >w< an x3 attendant 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. xDD Wead ^-^ o'ew ÚwÚ this paper OwO whiwe x3 the gwass xDD doth x3 come. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_< Fiend, xDD thou torments ;;w;; me ere UwU I come to uWu heww. 
BOLINGBROKE. Uwge >w< it nyo >_> mowe, x3 my Lord >_< Nyowthumbewwand. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. uWu The Commons xDD wiww >_> nyot, >w< then, be xDD satisfied. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ They UwU shaww be xDD satisfied. I'll ^w^ wead UwU enyough, 
x3 When UwU I UwU do >_> see x3 the xDD vewy ^w^ book ÚwÚ indeed 
Whewe aww x3 my :3 sins OwO awe ;;w;; wwit, ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's :3 mysewf. 

^.^ We-entew x3 attendant with gwass 

Give ;;w;; me :3 that gwass, ÚwÚ and thewein xDD wiww UwU I wead. 
No deeper ^.^ wwinkwes :33 yet? >_< Hath sorrow >w< stwuck 
^w^ So UwU many ^w^ bwows ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this OwO face of >_< minye 
xDD And UwU made nyo deeper ÚwÚ wounds? x3 O >_> fwatt'wing gwass, 
Wike to x3 my ÚwÚ fowwowews uWu in prosperity, 
^.^ Thou dost beguile me! Was ÚwÚ this OwO face x3 the OwO face 
:33 That every day :33 undew :33 his :33 househowd ÚwÚ woof 
Did >_< keep ;;w;; ten thousand men? Was ÚwÚ this x3 the OwO face 
:33 That ^.^ wike x3 the sun uWu did >_< make x3 behowdews uWu wink? 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 the OwO face which fac'd UwU so UwU many follies 
:33 That UwU was uWu at >w< wast out-fac'd ^.^ by Bolingbroke? 
^-^ A bwittwe :3 gwowy shineth uWu in ÚwÚ this face; 
;;w;; As bwittwe >_< as x3 the :3 gwowy >_> is x3 the face; 
>_> [Dashes x3 the gwass OwO against x3 the ground] 
For there >w< it ;;w;; is, >_< cwack'd uWu in :3 a :3 hundwed x3 shivews. 
;;w;; Mawk, silent OwO king, x3 the :3 mowaw of ÚwÚ this ^-^ spowt- 
How >w< soon x3 my sorrow hath >w< destwoy'd x3 my ;;w;; face. 
BOLINGBROKE. uWu The :3 shadow of x3 youw sorrow hath >w< destwoy'd 
uWu The :3 shadow of x3 youw ;;w;; face. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 Say :3 that ;;w;; again. 
uWu The :3 shadow of x3 my uWu sowwow? uWu Ha! >_> wet's ^-^ see. 
'Tis xDD vewy >_> twue: x3 my grief wies aww xDD within; 
xDD And these ÚwÚ extewnyaw ^w^ mannyew of ^.^ waments 
^w^ Awe mewewy ^-^ shadows to x3 the unseen grief 
:33 That ^-^ swewws with :3 siwence uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ towtuw'd ^-^ souw. 
>_> Thewe wies x3 the xDD substance; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, OwO king, 
For >w< thy great x3 bounty, :3 that nyot >w< onwy OwO giv'st 
x3 Me cause to ^.^ waiw, >_> but >_> teachest ;;w;; me x3 the uWu way 
How to wament x3 the OwO cause. I'll ÚwÚ beg one ÚwÚ boon, 
xDD And xDD then be >_> gonye ÚwÚ and >_> twoubwe xDD you nyo more. 
Shall UwU I UwU obtain :33 it? 
BOLINGBROKE. Nyame :33 it, >w< faiw :33 cousin. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Faiw x3 cousin! UwU I ^w^ am :33 gweatew than :3 a uWu king; 
For when UwU I UwU was :3 a OwO king, x3 my uWu fwattewews 
^.^ Wewe xDD then >_> but UwU subjects; ^.^ being nyow :3 a uWu subject, 
UwU I uWu have :3 a x3 king OwO hewe to x3 my flatterer. 
uWu Being UwU so ^.^ gweat, UwU I uWu have nyo >_< nyeed to ;;w;; beg. 
BOLINGBROKE. ÚwÚ Yet xDD ask. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD And UwU shaww UwU I have? 
BOLINGBROKE. >_> You >_< shaww. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Then UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to ÚwÚ go. 
BOLINGBROKE. ^.^ Whithew? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 Whithew xDD you :33 wiww, UwU so UwU I :3 wewe from x3 youw :3 sights. 
BOLINGBROKE. ^w^ Go, x3 some of xDD you :33 convey ^.^ him to x3 the Towew. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_< O, >w< good! OwO Convey! ÚwÚ Conveyews OwO awe xDD you all, 
:33 That rise OwO thus x3 nyimbwy ^.^ by :3 a true >_< king's UwU faww. 
Exeunt ;;w;; KING WICHAWD, x3 some Lords ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 Guawd 
BOLINGBROKE. On >w< Wednyesday :3 nyext ^.^ we OwO sowemnwy uWu set down 
Our x3 cowonyation. ;;w;; Wowds, >_> pwepawe youwsewves. 
Exeunt aww >_> but x3 the ABBOT ÚwÚ OF ;;w;; WESTMINSTEW, x3 the 
xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF CARLISLE, ÚwÚ and ^.^ AUMEWWE 
:3 ABBOT. ^-^ A ^.^ woefuw pageant uWu have ^.^ we OwO hewe ;;w;; behewd. 
>_> CAWWISWE. uWu The ÚwÚ woe's to >_< come; x3 the x3 chiwdwen yet xDD unbown 
Shall x3 feew ÚwÚ this day >_< as ^-^ shawp to them >_< as x3 thown. 
AUMERLE. >_> You >w< howy OwO cwewgymen, >_> is there nyo :3 pwot 
;;w;; To x3 wid x3 the weawm of ÚwÚ this pewnyicious bwot? 
:3 ABBOT. OwO My uWu wowd, 
^.^ Befowe UwU I freely speak x3 my ^-^ mind herein, 
>_> You UwU shaww nyot >w< onwy OwO take x3 the sacwament 
;;w;; To ^.^ buwy >_< minye >w< intents, >_> but awso to ^w^ effect 
Whatevew UwU I UwU shaww :33 happen to devise. 
UwU I >_> see x3 youw ^w^ bwows OwO awe full of ÚwÚ discontent, 
uWu Youw heawts of >_> sowwow, ÚwÚ and x3 youw eyes of >w< teaws. 
:3 Come ^.^ home with ;;w;; me to supper; UwU I xDD wiww uWu way 
^-^ A :3 pwot UwU shaww x3 show >_> us aww :3 a ^.^ mewwy x3 day. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
OwO Wondon. ^-^ A :3 stweet weading to x3 the ^-^ Towew 

Entew x3 the xDD QUEEN, with her ^.^ attendants 

QUEEN. This uWu way x3 the ^w^ King xDD wiww >_< come; ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the uWu way 
;;w;; To Julius Caesar's iww-ewected tower, 
;;w;; To x3 whose OwO fwint ^w^ bosom x3 my condemnyed ;;w;; wowd 
Is OwO doom'd :3 a ÚwÚ pwisonyew ^.^ by OwO pwoud ^.^ Bowingbwoke. 
:3 Hewe wet >_> us ^-^ west, >_> if ÚwÚ this webewwious ^.^ eawth 
:3 Have xDD any resting fow her true >_< King's >w< queen. 

Entew ;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD ÚwÚ and x3 Guawd 

OwO But OwO soft, >_> but see, ow rather UwU do nyot see, 
OwO My >w< faiw wose wither. ÚwÚ Yet wook up, behowd, 
:33 That xDD you uWu in pity OwO may >_< dissowve to ;;w;; dew, 
xDD And >_< wash ^.^ him >w< fwesh again with :3 twue-wuv >w< teaws. 
xDD Ah, UwU thou, x3 the :33 modew :3 whewe ;;w;; owd Twoy uWu did xDD stand; 
^.^ Thou ^.^ map of honyouw, xDD thou ^w^ King >w< Wichawd's ;;w;; tomb, 
xDD And nyot ^w^ King ;;w;; Wichawd; xDD thou UwU most beauteous inn, 
Why >_> shouwd hard-favour'd grief be ^w^ wodg'd uWu in ÚwÚ thee, 
x3 When twiumph >_> is :33 become >w< an uWu awehouse OwO guest? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> Join nyot with gwief, >w< faiw ^w^ woman, UwU do nyot >_> so, 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 my >w< end ^w^ too >w< sudden. Learn, ÚwÚ good x3 souw, 
;;w;; To think UwU ouw xDD fowmew >w< state :3 a ^w^ happy dream; 
Fwom which uWu awak'd, x3 the uWu twuth of >_> what ^.^ we OwO awe 
uWu Shows >_> us >_> but :33 this: UwU I ^w^ am sworn brother, sweet, 
;;w;; To gwim Necessity; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ÚwÚ and 
Will >_< keep :3 a :33 weague >w< tiww death. Hie uWu thee to >_< Fwance, 
xDD And >w< cwoistew uWu thee uWu in x3 some religious ÚwÚ house. 
Our >w< howy ;;w;; wives ^w^ must x3 win :3 a x3 nyew OwO wowwd's :3 cwown, 
>_< Which UwU ouw uWu pwofanye >_> houws OwO hewe uWu have :33 thwown down. 
QUEEN. What, >_> is x3 my Richard both uWu in xDD shape ÚwÚ and ^-^ mind 
^.^ Twansfowm'd ÚwÚ and weak'nyed? >_< Hath :3 Bowingbwoke :3 depos'd 
OwO Thinye uWu intewwect? >_< Hath ^.^ he :33 been uWu in >w< thy ÚwÚ heawt? 
uWu The wion dying thwusteth fowth :33 his OwO paw 
xDD And wounds x3 the earth, >_> if >_< nyothing else, with xDD wage 
;;w;; To be ÚwÚ o'ewpow'w'd; ÚwÚ and wiwt UwU thou, x3 pupiw-wike, 
^.^ Take x3 the correction ÚwÚ miwdwy, :3 kiss x3 the ;;w;; wod, 
xDD And ^-^ fawn on xDD wage with UwU base humility, 
>_< Which awt :3 a wion ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 king of ^-^ beasts? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ A x3 king of xDD beasts, ^w^ indeed! ;;w;; If ^.^ aught >_> but xDD beasts, 
UwU I xDD had :33 been still :3 a ^w^ happy x3 king of ^.^ men. 
^-^ Good x3 sometimes queen, >_> pwepawe uWu thee >w< hence fow Fwance. 
^w^ Think UwU I ^w^ am >_< dead, ÚwÚ and :3 that even OwO hewe xDD thou OwO takest, 
;;w;; As from x3 my ^-^ death-bed, >w< thy >w< wast UwU wiving >_< weave. 
^w^ In winter's tedious :33 nyights sit ^.^ by x3 the fire 
With ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd >_< fowks, ÚwÚ and wet them tell uWu thee ;;w;; tawes 
Of ^.^ woefuw uWu ages ^-^ wong ^w^ ago betid; 
xDD And ere xDD thou bid ÚwÚ good night, to ^.^ quit uWu theiw griefs 
Teww xDD thou x3 the lamentable xDD tawe of uWu me, 
xDD And >_> send x3 the ÚwÚ heawews weeping to uWu theiw >w< beds; 
For >w< why, x3 the senseless >_> bwands xDD wiww :33 sympathize 
uWu The x3 heavy xDD accent of >w< thy >w< moving ;;w;; tongue, 
xDD And uWu in >w< compassion xDD weep x3 the fire out; 
xDD And x3 some xDD wiww mouwn uWu in :3 ashes, x3 some coal-black, 
For x3 the >_< deposing of :3 a wightfuw king. 

Entew NyOWTHUMBEWWAND ^w^ attended 

:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 the ^-^ mind of :3 Bowingbwoke >_> is UwU chang'd; 
>_> You ^w^ must to :3 Pomfwet, nyot >w< unto x3 the Towew. 
^.^ And, UwU madam, there >_> is order >_> ta'en fow xDD you: 
With aww UwU swift ^w^ speed xDD you ^w^ must OwO away to Fwance. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> Nyowthumbewwand, xDD thou ladder wherewithal 
uWu The ^w^ mounting :3 Bowingbwoke >_> ascends x3 my throne, 
uWu The time UwU shaww nyot be UwU many >_> houws of age 
uWu Mowe than >w< it ;;w;; is, ere fouw x3 sin gathewing >_> head 
Shall bweak x3 into cowwuption. ^.^ Thou shalt think 
;;w;; Though ^.^ he OwO divide x3 the weawm ÚwÚ and UwU give uWu thee half 
^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too UwU wittwe, ;;w;; hewping ^.^ him to aww; 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww think :3 that UwU thou, which knowest x3 the uWu way 
;;w;; To plant UwU unwightfuw OwO kings, wiwt ^.^ knyow OwO again, 
uWu Being ^w^ nye'ew UwU so xDD wittwe x3 uwg'd, anyothew uWu way 
;;w;; To pluck ^.^ him OwO headwong from x3 the ÚwÚ usuwped thwonye. 
uWu The wuv of wicked ;;w;; men converts to x3 feaw; 
:33 That feaw to :33 hate; ÚwÚ and ^-^ hate tuwns one ow both 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ wowthy danger ÚwÚ and deserved death. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. OwO My guilt be on x3 my head, ÚwÚ and there >w< an OwO end. 
^.^ Take weave, ÚwÚ and ^w^ pawt; fow xDD you ^w^ must ÚwÚ pawt >w< fowthwith. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^w^ Doubwy UwU divowc'd! :3 Bad men, xDD you xDD viowate 
^-^ A twofold :33 mawwiage-'twixt x3 my >_< cwown ÚwÚ and uWu me, 
xDD And xDD then betwixt ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 my mawwied x3 wife. 
Let ;;w;; me ÚwÚ unkiss x3 the ^-^ oath 'twixt uWu thee ÚwÚ and OwO me; 
xDD And yet nyot >_> so, fow with :3 a :3 kiss uWu 'twas >_> made. 
Pawt us, :3 Nyowthumbewwand; UwU I uWu towawds x3 the :33 nyowth, 
Whewe ÚwÚ shivewing UwU cowd ÚwÚ and sicknyess ^w^ pinyes x3 the xDD cwime; 
OwO My >w< wife to >_< Fwance, from >_> whence uWu set fowth uWu in pomp, 
:33 She ^-^ came adownyed ÚwÚ hithew ^.^ wike x3 sweet >w< May, 
:3 Sent back ^.^ wike Hallowmas ow ^-^ showt'st of x3 day. 
QUEEN. xDD And ^w^ must ^.^ we be divided? :3 Must ^.^ we :33 pawt? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Ay, uWu hand from uWu hand, x3 my xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and >_< heawt from ;;w;; heawt. 
QUEEN. ^-^ Banyish >_> us xDD both, ÚwÚ and >_> send x3 the ^w^ King with x3 me. 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. :33 That :3 wewe x3 some xDD wuv, >_> but xDD wittwe policy. 
QUEEN. UwU Then :33 whithew ^.^ he xDD goes uWu thithew wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ go. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^w^ So >_> two, togethew weeping, >_< make one woe. 
UwU Weep xDD thou fow ;;w;; me uWu in >_< Fwance, UwU I fow uWu thee ^.^ hewe; 
uWu Bettew uWu faw x3 off than near, be ^w^ nye'ew x3 the ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
^w^ Go, ;;w;; count >w< thy uWu way with >_> sighs; UwU I >_< minye with groans. 
QUEEN. ^w^ So xDD wongest uWu way UwU shaww uWu have x3 the xDD wongest x3 moans. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD Twice fow one :33 step I'll gwoan, x3 the uWu way ^.^ being ^.^ showt, 
xDD And ^.^ piece x3 the uWu way x3 out with :3 a x3 heavy ;;w;; heawt. 
^.^ Come, come, uWu in :33 wooing sorrow >_> wet's be ^-^ bwief, 
ÚwÚ Since, ÚwÚ wedding :33 it, there >_> is xDD such :33 wength uWu in ÚwÚ gwief. 
x3 Onye :3 kiss UwU shaww ÚwÚ stop UwU ouw ^w^ mouths, ÚwÚ and UwU dumbwy ^w^ pawt; 
^-^ Thus UwU give UwU I >_> minye, ÚwÚ and OwO thus OwO take UwU I >w< thy ;;w;; heawt. 
QUEEN. Give ;;w;; me >_< minye UwU own again; >w< 'twewe nyo ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ pawt 
;;w;; To OwO take on ;;w;; me to >_< keep ÚwÚ and OwO kiww >w< thy ;;w;; heawt. 
So, nyow UwU I uWu have >_< minye UwU own OwO again, be ;;w;; gonye. 
:33 That UwU I OwO may strive to OwO kiww >w< it with :3 a gwoan. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. We >_< make woe >_< wanton with ÚwÚ this fond :3 deway. 
Once >_> mowe, uWu adieu; x3 the xDD west wet sorrow :3 say. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
uWu The ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YOWK's ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK ÚwÚ and x3 the DUCHESS 

DUCHESS. OwO My Wowd, xDD you told ;;w;; me xDD you ^.^ wouwd tell x3 the ^-^ west, 
x3 When weeping UwU made xDD you bweak x3 the ^-^ stowy ^w^ off, 
Of UwU ouw >w< two cousins' xDD coming x3 into OwO Wondon. 
:3 YOWK. Whewe uWu did UwU I weave? 
DUCHESS. At :3 that >_> sad UwU stop, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Whewe wude >_> misguvwnyed ^.^ hands from windows' >_< tops 
UwU Thwew x3 dust ÚwÚ and rubbish on ^w^ King >w< Wichawd's >_> head. 
:3 YOWK. Then, >_< as UwU I said, x3 the ;;w;; Duke, great ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, 
:33 Mounted ;;w;; upon :3 a :3 hot ÚwÚ and fiery :3 steed 
>_< Which :33 his ;;w;; aspiwing widew ^w^ seem'd to knyow, 
With slow >_> but ÚwÚ statewy >_> pace :33 kept on :33 his course, 
Whilst aww tongues cried >w< 'God :3 save ÚwÚ thee, Bolingbroke!' 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD thought x3 the xDD vewy ^w^ windows spake, 
^w^ So UwU many gweedy :33 wooks of xDD young ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd 
^.^ Thwough >w< casements ^-^ dawted uWu theiw desiring eyes 
>_> Upon :33 his OwO visage; ÚwÚ and :3 that aww x3 the OwO wawws 
With painted x3 imagewy xDD had uWu said uWu at >_> once 
^.^ 'Jesu pwesewve uWu thee! Welcome, Bolingbroke!' 
Whilst xDD he, from x3 the one x3 side to x3 the othew ÚwÚ tuwnying, 
Bareheaded, >_< wowew than :33 his OwO pwoud >_> steed's neck, 
^w^ Bespake them thus, ÚwÚ 'I >_> thank UwU you, countwymen.' 
xDD And OwO thus still >_< doing, OwO thus ^.^ he :33 pass'd >_> awong. 
DUCHESS. xDD Awack, poor Richard! :3 whewe rode ^.^ he x3 the x3 whiwst? 
:3 YOWK. ;;w;; As uWu in :3 a uWu theatwe x3 the eyes of ;;w;; men 
>w< Aftew :3 a well-grac'd :33 actow >w< weaves x3 the stage 
^w^ Awe idly UwU bent on ^.^ him :3 that ;;w;; entews next, 
^w^ Thinking :33 his ^w^ pwattwe to be :33 tedious; 
Even >_> so, ow with much ^.^ mowe ^.^ contempt, men's eyes 
Did OwO scoww on ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; Wichawd; nyo x3 man cried >w< 'God :3 save OwO him!' 
No >w< joyfuw >_> tongue uWu gave ^.^ him :33 his wewcome ÚwÚ home; 
OwO But x3 dust UwU was :33 thwown ;;w;; upon :33 his uWu sacwed head; 
>_< Which with xDD such ^-^ gentwe sorrow ^.^ he >_> shook ^w^ off, 
ÚwÚ His OwO face still combating with tears ÚwÚ and >_> smiwes, 
uWu The ^.^ badges of :33 his grief ÚwÚ and patience, 
:33 That xDD had nyot :33 God, fow x3 some >w< stwong xDD puwpose, UwU steew'd 
uWu The heawts of men, ;;w;; they ^w^ must ^.^ pewfowce uWu have ^.^ mewted, 
xDD And >_> bawbawism itsewf uWu have uWu pitied ^.^ him. 
OwO But heaven hath :3 a uWu hand uWu in these OwO events, 
;;w;; To x3 whose xDD high xDD wiww ^.^ we bound UwU ouw ÚwÚ cawm :3 contents. 
;;w;; To :3 Bowingbwoke OwO awe ^.^ we sworn subjects now, 
>_< Whose >w< state ÚwÚ and honour UwU I fow ^.^ aye ÚwÚ awwow. 
DUCHESS. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my >_< son ^.^ Aumewwe. 
:3 YOWK. :3 Aumewwe :3 that UwU was 
OwO But :3 that >_> is wost fow ^.^ being >w< Wichawd's fwiend, 
xDD And UwU madam, xDD you ^w^ must caww ^.^ him uWu Wudand now. 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu in ÚwÚ Pawwiament >_< pwedge fow :33 his uWu twuth 
xDD And :3 wasting uWu feawty to x3 the nyew-made king. 

Entew ^.^ AUMEWWE 

DUCHESS. Welcome, x3 my OwO son. Who OwO awe x3 the violets nyow 
:33 That strew x3 the green wap of x3 the x3 nyew come :3 spwing? 
AUMERLE. uWu Madam, UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, nor UwU I OwO gweatwy :3 cawe not. 
^w^ God xDD knyows UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief be >_< nyonye >_< as onye. 
:3 YOWK. xDD Weww, UwU beaw xDD you weww uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 nyew ^-^ spwing of time, 
Lest xDD you be x3 cwopp'd >w< befowe xDD you come to ^-^ pwime. 
>_> What nyews from OwO Oxfowd? Do these justs ÚwÚ and triumphs ;;w;; howd? 
AUMERLE. For ^.^ aught UwU I knyow, x3 my uWu wowd, ;;w;; they xDD do. 
:3 YOWK. >_> You xDD wiww be thewe, UwU I :33 knyow. 
AUMERLE. ;;w;; If ^w^ God ^w^ pwevent >_> nyot, UwU I OwO puwpose :3 so. 
:3 YOWK. >_> What UwU seaw >_> is :3 that :3 that ^-^ without >w< thy ^w^ bosom? 
Yea, wook'st xDD thou pale? Let ;;w;; me >_> see x3 the writing. 
AUMERLE. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU 'tis OwO nyothing. 
:3 YOWK. No >w< mattew, >w< then, who >_> see :3 it. 
UwU I xDD wiww be >_< satisfied; wet ;;w;; me >_> see x3 the writing. 
AUMERLE. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw Gwace to UwU pawdon OwO me; 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a ;;w;; mattew of UwU smaww >_> consequence 
>_< Which fow x3 some weasons UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have ÚwÚ seen. 
:3 YOWK. >_< Which fow x3 some ^w^ weasons, ^w^ siw, UwU I >_> mean to ^-^ see. 
UwU I ;;w;; feaw, UwU I >w< feaw- 
DUCHESS. >_> What >_> shouwd xDD you fear? 
'Tis >_< nyothing >_> but x3 some :3 bond :3 that ^.^ he >_> is ^w^ ent'wed x3 into 
For x3 gay apparel uWu 'gainst x3 the triumph-day. 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ Bound to >_< himsewf! >_> What xDD doth ^.^ he with :3 a :3 bond 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is bound to? >_< Wife, xDD thou awt :3 a xDD foow. 
:33 Boy, wet ;;w;; me >_> see x3 the writing. 
AUMERLE. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, UwU pawdon OwO me; UwU I OwO may nyot x3 show :3 it. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I xDD wiww be >_< satisfied; wet ;;w;; me >_> see :33 it, UwU I :3 say. 
[He OwO pwucks >w< it x3 out of :33 his x3 bosom, ÚwÚ and weads :33 it] 
Tweason, fouw treason! Villain! twaitow! x3 swave! 
DUCHESS. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< mattew, x3 my xDD wowd? 
:3 YOWK. Ho! who >_> is within OwO thewe? 

Entew :3 a xDD sewvant 

Saddle x3 my horse. 
^w^ God fow :33 his mercy, >_> what tweachewy >_> is here! 
DUCHESS. Why, York, >_> what >_> is :33 it, x3 my xDD wowd? 
:3 YOWK. Give ;;w;; me x3 my ^-^ boots, UwU I say; ^w^ saddwe x3 my horse. 
uWu Exit xDD sewvant 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ by >_< minye honyouw, ^.^ by x3 my :3 wife, x3 my troth, 
UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; appeach x3 the villain. 
DUCHESS. >_> What >_> is x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
:3 YOWK. uWu Peace, >_< foowish uWu woman. 
DUCHESS. UwU I xDD wiww nyot peace. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< mattew, >_> Aumewwe? 
AUMERLE. ^-^ Good :33 mothew, be content; >w< it >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe 
Than x3 my poor >w< wife ^w^ must answer. 
DUCHESS. x3 Thy >w< wife ^w^ answew! 
:3 YOWK. Bring ;;w;; me x3 my uWu boots. UwU I xDD wiww >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; King. 

ÚwÚ His x3 man ;;w;; entews with :33 his ÚwÚ boots 

DUCHESS. OwO Stwike :3 him, ^.^ Aumewwe. OwO Poow ^-^ boy, xDD thou awt amaz'd. 
Hence, :33 viwwain! >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe come uWu in x3 my :33 sight. 
:3 YOWK. Give ;;w;; me x3 my ^-^ boots, UwU I :3 say. 
DUCHESS. Why, York, >_> what wiwt xDD thou ^-^ do? 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou nyot hide x3 the trespass of ^.^ thinye >w< own? 
:3 Have ^.^ we ^.^ mowe sons? ow OwO awe ^.^ we ^.^ wike to have? 
Is nyot x3 my teeming uWu date UwU dwunk x3 up with >w< time? 
xDD And wiwt xDD thou pluck x3 my >w< faiw >_< son from >_< minye age 
xDD And rob ;;w;; me of :3 a ^w^ happy ;;w;; mothew's :3 nyame? 
Is ^.^ he nyot ^.^ wike thee? Is ^.^ he nyot ^.^ thinye >w< own? 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ Thou fond ^-^ mad ^w^ woman, 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou :33 conceaw ÚwÚ this dark conspiracy? 
^-^ A ^.^ dozen of them OwO hewe uWu have >_> ta'en x3 the sacrament, 
xDD And interchangeably uWu set down uWu theiw ^.^ hands 
;;w;; To OwO kiww x3 the ^w^ King uWu at Oxford. 
DUCHESS. >w< He UwU shaww be x3 nyonye; 
^-^ We'ww >_< keep ^.^ him hewe. UwU Then >_> what >_> is :3 that to him? 
:3 YOWK. :33 Away, fond OwO woman! :3 wewe ^.^ he ÚwÚ twenty times x3 my >_< son 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; appeach ^.^ him. 
DUCHESS. UwU Hadst xDD thou gwoan'd fow ^.^ him 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have :33 donye, xDD thou wouldst be ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ pitifuw. 
OwO But nyow UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< thy xDD mind: xDD thou dost >_> suspect 
:33 That UwU I uWu have :33 been :3 diswoyaw to >w< thy x3 bed 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ he >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ bastawd, nyot >w< thy OwO son. 
ÚwÚ Sweet York, x3 sweet ^.^ husband, be nyot of :3 that :33 mind. 
>w< He >_> is >_< as ^.^ wike uWu thee >_< as :3 a x3 man OwO may be 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ wike to uWu me, ow xDD any of x3 my kin, 
xDD And yet UwU I wuv ^.^ him. 
:3 YOWK. ^-^ Make :3 way, ^-^ unwuwy OwO woman! uWu Exit 
DUCHESS. Aftew, Aumewwe! ^-^ Mount uWu thee ;;w;; upon :33 his :33 howse; 
>_< Spuw ÚwÚ post, ÚwÚ and get >w< befowe ^.^ him to x3 the OwO King, 
xDD And ÚwÚ beg >w< thy UwU pawdon ere ^.^ he UwU do ;;w;; accuse thee. 
I'll nyot be ^-^ wong :3 behind; ^w^ though UwU I be :3 owd, 
UwU I doubt nyot >_> but to uWu wide >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as Yowk; 
xDD And >_< nyevew xDD wiww UwU I rise x3 up from x3 the x3 gwound 
Tiww :3 Bowingbwoke uWu have ^.^ pawdon'd thee. :33 Away, be ;;w;; gonye. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
^-^ Windsow ;;w;; Castwe 

Entew BOLINGBROKE >_< as OwO King, ^w^ PEWCY, ÚwÚ and othew ;;w;; WOWDS 

BOLINGBROKE. UwU Can nyo x3 man tell ;;w;; me of x3 my unthrifty uWu son? 
'Tis full >w< thwee ^w^ months xDD since UwU I uWu did >_> see ^.^ him last. 
;;w;; If xDD any pwague ^w^ hang uvw us, UwU 'tis he. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd to :33 God, x3 my wowds, ^.^ he ^w^ might be uWu found. 
Inquire uWu at Wondon, ^w^ 'mongst x3 the tavewns thewe, 
For thewe, ;;w;; they say, ^.^ he x3 daiwy xDD doth fwequent 
With :33 unwestwainyed ;;w;; woose uWu companyions, 
Even xDD such, ;;w;; they say, >_< as stand uWu in nyawwow uWu wanyes 
xDD And xDD beat UwU ouw ;;w;; watch ÚwÚ and rob UwU ouw >_< passengews, 
>_< Which xDD he, xDD young >_< wanton ÚwÚ and effeminyate ^-^ boy, 
Takes on x3 the :33 point of honour to support 
^w^ So dissolute :3 a cwew. 
^-^ PEWCY. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 some >w< two OwO days xDD since UwU I saw x3 the >_< Pwince, 
xDD And told ^.^ him of UwU those triumphs hewd uWu at Oxford. 
BOLINGBROKE. xDD And >_> what uWu said x3 the OwO gawwant? 
^-^ PEWCY. ÚwÚ His answew UwU was, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >w< unto x3 the stews, 
xDD And from x3 the common'st creature pluck :3 a ;;w;; gwuv 
xDD And ^-^ weaw >w< it >_< as :3 a ^.^ favouw; ÚwÚ and with :3 that 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd ^-^ unhowse x3 the lustiest ÚwÚ chawwengew. 
BOLINGBROKE. ;;w;; As dissolute >_< as ^-^ despewate; yet ^w^ thwough both 
UwU I >_> see x3 some OwO spawks of xDD bettew hope, which :33 ewdew years 
^-^ May happily ;;w;; bwing forth. OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew ^.^ AUMEWWE x3 amazed 

AUMERLE. Whewe >_> is x3 the >_> King? 
BOLINGBROKE. >_> What means UwU ouw xDD cousin :3 that ^.^ he stawes ÚwÚ and :33 wooks 
^w^ So wildly? 
AUMERLE. ^w^ God :3 save x3 youw Grace! UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw ÚwÚ Majesty, 
;;w;; To uWu have x3 some conference with x3 youw Gwace >_< awonye. 
BOLINGBROKE. Withdraw ^w^ youwsewves, ÚwÚ and OwO weave >_> us OwO hewe >_< awonye. 
Exeunt uWu PEWCY ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 
>_> What >_> is x3 the ;;w;; mattew with UwU ouw xDD cousin ^.^ nyow? 
AUMERLE. For OwO evew OwO may x3 my knees gwow to x3 the earth, 
>_< [Knyeews] 
OwO My >_> tongue ÚwÚ cweave to x3 my ÚwÚ woof within x3 my uWu mouth, 
OwO Unwess :3 a UwU pawdon ere UwU I rise ow >_< speak. 
BOLINGBROKE. ÚwÚ Intended ow >_> committed UwU was ÚwÚ this xDD fauwt? 
;;w;; If on x3 the ÚwÚ fiwst, >w< how ;;w;; heinyous ;;w;; e'ew >w< it be, 
;;w;; To x3 win >w< thy aftew-wuv UwU I UwU pawdon thee. 
AUMERLE. UwU Then UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave :3 that UwU I OwO may turn x3 the >_> key, 
:33 That nyo x3 man enter >w< tiww x3 my xDD tawe be ^-^ donye. 
BOLINGBROKE. :3 Have >w< thy desiwe. 
;;w;; [The ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK ÚwÚ knyocks uWu at x3 the doow ÚwÚ and :3 cwieth] 
:3 YOWK. :33 [Within] OwO My ^.^ wiege, bewawe; wook to xDD thysewf; 
^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 a traitor uWu in >w< thy x3 pwesence :33 thewe. 
BOLINGBROKE. [Dwawing] uWu Viwwain, I'll >_< make uWu thee ^w^ safe. 
AUMERLE. OwO Stay >w< thy UwU wevengefuw xDD hand; xDD thou x3 hast nyo cause to ;;w;; feaw. 
:3 YOWK. :33 [Within] ^w^ Open x3 the door, secure, ^-^ foowhawdy ;;w;; King. 
Shall I, fow xDD wuv, speak UwU tweason to >w< thy ^.^ face? 
^w^ Open x3 the door, ow UwU I xDD wiww bweak >w< it open. 

Entew YORK 

BOLINGBROKE. >_> What >_> is x3 the >w< mattew, xDD uncwe? uWu Speak; 
Recover breath; tell >_> us >w< how nyeaw >_> is uWu dangew, 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO may awm >_> us to x3 encountew :3 it. 
:3 YOWK. Peruse ÚwÚ this wwiting UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt ^.^ knyow 
uWu The UwU tweason :3 that x3 my ^.^ haste forbids ;;w;; me show. 
AUMERLE. OwO Wemembew, >_< as xDD thou read'st, >w< thy promise xDD pass'd. 
UwU I UwU do wepent OwO me; ^w^ wead nyot x3 my xDD nyame uWu thewe; 
OwO My >_< heawt >_> is nyot >_< confedewate with x3 my >w< hand. 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ It UwU was, villain, ere >w< thy uWu hand uWu did uWu set >w< it down. 
UwU I >w< towe >w< it from x3 the UwU twaitow's x3 bosom, uWu King; 
Feaw, ÚwÚ and nyot xDD wuv, begets :33 his ^-^ penyitence. 
:3 Fowget to pity :3 him, xDD west >w< thy pity ^-^ pwuv 
^-^ A serpent :3 that xDD wiww ÚwÚ sting uWu thee to x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 
BOLINGBROKE. x3 O uWu heinyous, :33 stwong, ÚwÚ and bold uWu conspiwacy! 
x3 O loyal >w< fathew of :3 a treacherous ^w^ son! 
^.^ Thou OwO sheew, immaculate, ÚwÚ and :33 siwvew :33 fountain, 
Fwom >_> whence ÚwÚ this stweam ^w^ thwough >_> muddy >w< passages 
>_< Hath hewd :33 his :3 cuwwent ÚwÚ and >_> defiw'd >_< himsewf! 
x3 Thy UwU uvwfwow of ÚwÚ good converts to bad; 
xDD And >w< thy abundant xDD goodnyess UwU shaww UwU excuse 
This deadwy uWu bwot uWu in >w< thy digressing OwO son. 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ So UwU shaww x3 my viwtue be :33 his xDD vice's ^w^ bawd; 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww spend >_< minye honour with :33 his UwU shame, 
;;w;; As :3 thwiftwess xDD sons uWu theiw scraping >_> fathews' ;;w;; gowd. 
Mine honour ;;w;; wives when :33 his x3 dishonyouw dies, 
:33 Ow x3 my ;;w;; sham'd >w< wife uWu in :33 his x3 dishonyouw uWu wies. 
^.^ Thou ^-^ kiww'st ;;w;; me uWu in :33 his :33 wife; ^.^ giving ^.^ him :33 bweath, 
uWu The traitor lives, x3 the true :33 man's put to death. 
DUCHESS. :33 [Within] UwU I >_> What :3 ho, x3 my ^.^ wiege, fow >_> God's ^w^ sake, wet ;;w;; me ^.^ in. 
BOLINGBROKE. >_> What x3 shwiww-voic'd suppwiant x3 makes ÚwÚ this eagew >_> cwy? 
DUCHESS. :33 [Within] ^-^ A ^w^ woman, ÚwÚ and ^.^ thinye uWu aunt, great uWu King; UwU 'tis ^.^ I. 
^w^ Speak with uWu me, pity uWu me, open x3 the UwU doow. 
^-^ A beggar begs :3 that >_< nyevew begg'd befowe. 
BOLINGBROKE. Our scene >_> is alt'red from :3 a sewious ÚwÚ thing, 
xDD And nyow chang'd to 'The Beggar ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO King.' 
OwO My uWu dangewous OwO cousin, wet x3 youw mothew ^.^ in. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ she >_> is come to pray fow x3 youw fouw >_< sin. 
:3 YOWK. ;;w;; If xDD thou UwU do UwU pawdon whosoevew pray, 
uWu Mowe :3 sins fow ÚwÚ this forgiveness prosper may. 
This UwU fest'wed UwU joint :3 cut ^w^ off, x3 the xDD west xDD west >w< sound; 
This wet awonye xDD wiww aww x3 the xDD west confound. 

Entew DUCHESS 

DUCHESS. x3 O OwO King, ^-^ bewieve nyot ÚwÚ this uWu hawd-heawted ;;w;; man! 
Wuv >w< woving nyot itself, >_< nyonye othew ;;w;; can. 
:3 YOWK. ^.^ Thou frantic ^w^ woman, >_> what dost xDD thou >_< make hewe? 
Shall >w< thy ;;w;; owd ;;w;; dugs >_> once ^.^ mowe :3 a traitor ^-^ weaw? 
DUCHESS. ÚwÚ Sweet York, be uWu patient. >w< Heaw uWu me, ^-^ gentwe OwO wiege. 
>_< [Knyeews] 
BOLINGBROKE. ^-^ Wise up, ÚwÚ good ^-^ aunt. 
DUCHESS. ÚwÚ Nyot ^w^ yet, UwU I uWu thee >w< beseech. 
For OwO evew xDD wiww UwU I UwU wawk ;;w;; upon x3 my uWu knyees, 
xDD And >_< nyevew >_> see day :3 that x3 the ^w^ happy sees 
Tiww xDD thou UwU give :33 joy; ÚwÚ untiw xDD thou bid ;;w;; me joy 
^-^ By pardoning Rutland, x3 my twansgwessing uWu boy. 
AUMERLE. uWu Unto x3 my ;;w;; mothew's >_< pwayews UwU I >w< bend x3 my uWu knyee. 
>_< [Knyeews] 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ Against them xDD both, x3 my true xDD joints bended >w< be. 
>_< [Knyeews] 
>_< Iww uWu mayst xDD thou thwive, >_> if xDD thou gwant xDD any grace! 
DUCHESS. Pleads ^.^ he uWu in eawnyest? Wook ;;w;; upon :33 his face; 
ÚwÚ His eyes UwU do >_< dwop nyo ^-^ teaws, :33 his >_< pwayews OwO awe uWu in >_> jest; 
ÚwÚ His wowds come from :33 his uWu mouth, ouws from UwU ouw UwU bweast. 
>w< He prays >_> but ^w^ faintwy ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd be :33 denyied; 
We pray with >_< heawt ÚwÚ and x3 souw, ÚwÚ and aww >_< beside. 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ weawy xDD joints ^.^ wouwd gwadwy >_< wise, UwU I know; 
Our knees still ^w^ knyeew >w< tiww to x3 the x3 gwound ;;w;; they ^w^ gwow. 
ÚwÚ His >_< pwayews OwO awe full of UwU fawse hypocrisy; 
^-^ Ouws of true ^.^ zeaw ÚwÚ and >_> deep uWu integwity. 
Our >_< pwayews UwU do UwU out-pway ^w^ his; xDD then wet them uWu have 
:33 That xDD mewcy which true :3 pwayew ought to :3 have. 
BOLINGBROKE. ^-^ Good uWu aunt, stand :33 up. 
DUCHESS. UwU do nyot >_> say >_< 'stand up'; 
x3 Say 'pardon' ÚwÚ fiwst, ÚwÚ and afterwards >_< 'stand ^.^ up.' 
^-^ An >_> if UwU I :3 wewe >w< thy xDD nyuwse, >w< thy >_> tongue to >w< teach, 
uWu 'Pawdon' >_> shouwd be x3 the xDD fiwst ;;w;; wowd of >w< thy :33 speech. 
UwU I >_< nyevew >_< wong'd to hear :3 a ;;w;; wowd >w< tiww >_< nyow; 
x3 Say ;;w;; 'pawdon,' uWu King; wet pity >_< teach uWu thee ^.^ how. 
uWu The ;;w;; wowd >_> is ^.^ showt, >_> but nyot UwU so showt >_< as sweet; 
No ;;w;; wowd ^.^ wike 'pardon' fow kings' mouths UwU so ^.^ meet. 
:3 YOWK. ^w^ Speak >w< it uWu in Fwench, OwO King, >_> say :3 'pawdonnye ^.^ moy.' 
DUCHESS. uWu Dost xDD thou >_< teach UwU pawdon UwU pawdon to destwoy? 
xDD Ah, x3 my :3 souw ^.^ husband, x3 my uWu hawd-heawted uWu wowd, 
:33 That :33 sets x3 the ;;w;; wowd itsewf OwO against x3 the word! 
^w^ Speak 'pardon' >_< as UwU 'tis :3 cuwwent uWu in UwU ouw land; 
uWu The :3 chopping OwO Fwench ^.^ we UwU do nyot :33 undewstand. 
OwO Thinye ^w^ eye ÚwÚ begins to :3 speak, uWu set >w< thy >_> tongue uWu thewe; 
:33 Ow uWu in >w< thy ^.^ piteous >_< heawt plant xDD thou ^.^ thinye eaw, 
:33 That hearing >w< how UwU ouw plaints ÚwÚ and >_< pwayews UwU do piewce, 
x3 Pity OwO may move uWu thee 'pardon' to OwO weheawse. 
BOLINGBROKE. ^-^ Good uWu aunt, stand :33 up. 
DUCHESS. UwU I UwU do nyot sue to xDD stand; 
^w^ Pawdon >_> is aww x3 the >_> suit UwU I uWu have uWu in >w< hand. 
BOLINGBROKE. UwU I UwU pawdon :3 him, >_< as ^w^ God UwU shaww UwU pawdon x3 me. 
DUCHESS. x3 O ^w^ happy ;;w;; vantage of :3 a >_< knyeewing knee! 
ÚwÚ Yet ^w^ am UwU I >w< sick fow ;;w;; feaw. ^w^ Speak >w< it ;;w;; again. 
xDD Twice :3 saying 'pardon' xDD doth nyot UwU pawdon twain, 
OwO But x3 makes one UwU pawdon strong. 
BOLINGBROKE. With aww x3 my >_< heawt 
UwU I UwU pawdon ^.^ him. 
DUCHESS. ^-^ A god on ^.^ eawth xDD thou art. 
BOLINGBROKE. OwO But fow UwU ouw trusty brother-in-law ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU Abbot, 
With aww x3 the xDD west of :3 that ^w^ consowted UwU cwew, 
Destruction ^w^ stwaight UwU shaww dog them uWu at x3 the xDD heews. 
^-^ Good uWu uncwe, OwO hewp to order sevewaw ÚwÚ powews 
;;w;; To uWu Oxfowd, ow where'er these traitors x3 awe. 
^-^ They UwU shaww nyot ^w^ wive within ÚwÚ this ^w^ wowwd, UwU I x3 sweaw, 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww uWu have ÚwÚ them, >_> if UwU I >_> once ^.^ knyow x3 whewe. 
>_> Uncwe, faweweww; x3 and, OwO cousin, uWu adieu; 
uWu Youw mothew weww hath ^.^ pway'd, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwuv xDD you true. 
DUCHESS. ^.^ Come, x3 my ;;w;; owd son; UwU I pray ^w^ God >_< make uWu thee new. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 
^-^ Windsow ;;w;; Castwe 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW xDD PIEWCE ÚwÚ OF >w< EXTON ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD sewvant 

:33 EXTON. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot mark x3 the OwO King, >_> what wowds ^.^ he ^.^ spake? 
xDD 'Have UwU I nyo :33 fwiend xDD wiww x3 wid ;;w;; me of ÚwÚ this UwU wiving x3 feaw?' 
Was >w< it nyot so? 
SEWVANT. ;;w;; These :3 wewe :33 his xDD vewy ÚwÚ wowds. 
:33 EXTON. xDD 'Have UwU I nyo >_> fwiend?' quoth he. >w< He x3 spake >w< it twice 
xDD And ;;w;; uwg'd >w< it twice together, uWu did ^.^ he ^w^ nyot? 
SEWVANT. >w< He ^.^ did. 
:33 EXTON. ^.^ And, speaking :33 it, ^.^ he OwO wishtwy >_> wook'd on uWu me, 
;;w;; As who >_> shouwd >_> say ÚwÚ 'I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou OwO wewt x3 the x3 man 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd :3 divowce ÚwÚ this tewwow from x3 my heawt'; 
:3 Meanying x3 the ^w^ King uWu at >w< Pomfwet. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's ÚwÚ go. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the >_< King's fwiend, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww x3 wid :33 his foe. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE 5. 
uWu Pomfwet UwU Castwe. uWu The >_< dungeon of x3 the ;;w;; Castwe 

Entew ;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU I uWu have :33 been >_> studying >w< how UwU I OwO may compare 
This :3 pwison :3 whewe UwU I ^w^ wive >w< unto x3 the wowwd 
^.^ And, fow uWu because x3 the wowwd >_> is uWu popuwous 
xDD And OwO hewe >_> is nyot :3 a creature >_> but myself, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU do :3 it. ÚwÚ Yet I'll hammew >w< it OwO out. 
OwO My :3 bwain I'll ^-^ pwuv x3 the >_< femawe to x3 my x3 souw, 
OwO My :3 souw x3 the father; ÚwÚ and these >w< two x3 beget 
^-^ A OwO genyewation of :33 stiww-bweeding thoughts, 
xDD And these same >_< thoughts OwO peopwe ÚwÚ this xDD wittwe ^w^ wowwd, 
^w^ In humours ^.^ wike x3 the OwO peopwe of ÚwÚ this ^w^ wowwd, 
For nyo xDD thought >_> is ÚwÚ contented. uWu The xDD bettew sort, 
;;w;; As >_< thoughts of ^.^ things divine, OwO awe intermix'd 
With scruples, ÚwÚ and UwU do uWu set x3 the ;;w;; wowd itsewf 
^w^ Against x3 the word, 
;;w;; As thus: ^w^ 'Come, xDD wittwe onyes'; ÚwÚ and xDD then OwO again, 
'It >_> is >_< as x3 hawd to come >_< as fow :3 a camew 
;;w;; To :3 thwead x3 the postewn of :3 a UwU smaww ^.^ nyeedwe's UwU eye.' 
Thoughts tending to ambition, ;;w;; they UwU do :3 pwot 
Unwikewy wonders: >w< how these :33 vain xDD weak >_< nyaiws 
^-^ May teaw :3 a uWu passage ^w^ thwough x3 the flinty OwO wibs 
Of ÚwÚ this x3 hawd ^w^ wowwd, x3 my ^-^ wagged :3 pwison wawws; 
^.^ And, fow ;;w;; they cannot, ^-^ die uWu in uWu theiw UwU own pwide. 
Thoughts tending to :3 content flatter x3 themsewves 
:33 That ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot x3 the xDD fiwst of ;;w;; fowtunye's swaves, 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww nyot be x3 the last; ^.^ wike siwwy x3 beggaws 
UwU Who, :3 sitting uWu in x3 the uWu stocks, ÚwÚ wefuge uWu theiw UwU shame, 
:33 That UwU many uWu have ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews ^w^ must sit uWu thewe; 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD thought ;;w;; they find :3 a uWu kind of uWu ease, 
ÚwÚ Beawing uWu theiw UwU own misfowtunyes on x3 the back 
Of xDD such >_< as uWu have >w< befowe :33 enduw'd x3 the >_> wike. 
^-^ Thus :33 pway UwU I uWu in one ÚwÚ pewson UwU many >_> peopwe, 
xDD And >_< nyonye ÚwÚ contented. Sometimes ^w^ am UwU I uWu king; 
UwU Then :3 tweasons >_< make ;;w;; me ÚwÚ wish mysewf :3 a beggar, 
xDD And UwU so UwU I am. UwU Then >w< cwushing penyuwy 
Pewsuades ;;w;; me UwU I UwU was xDD bettew when :3 a uWu king; 
UwU Then ^w^ am UwU I king'd again; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by 
^w^ Think :3 that UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ unking'd ^.^ by ÚwÚ Bowingbwoke, 
xDD And ^w^ stwaight ^w^ am OwO nyothing. OwO But whate'er UwU I be, 
x3 Nyow I, nor xDD any x3 man :3 that >_> but x3 man ;;w;; is, 
With >_< nyothing UwU shaww be pleas'd >w< tiww ^.^ he be eas'd 
With ^.^ being OwO nyothing. ;;w;; [The uWu music ÚwÚ pways] 
Music UwU do UwU I UwU heaw? 
>w< Ha, :33 ha! >_< keep uWu time. How :3 souw x3 sweet uWu music >_> is 
x3 When time >_> is broke ÚwÚ and nyo :33 pwopowtion x3 kept! 
^w^ So >_> is >w< it uWu in x3 the uWu music of men's ^.^ wives. 
xDD And OwO hewe uWu have UwU I x3 the ^.^ daintinyess of ear 
;;w;; To ^.^ check time broke uWu in :3 a disorder'd UwU stwing; 
But, fow x3 the concowd of x3 my >w< state ÚwÚ and time, 
xDD Had nyot >w< an ear to hear x3 my true time >_< bwoke. 
UwU I wasted time, ÚwÚ and nyow xDD doth time uWu waste OwO me; 
For nyow hath time UwU made ;;w;; me :33 his ÚwÚ nyumb'wing clock: 
OwO My >_< thoughts OwO awe ;;w;; minyutes; ÚwÚ and with :3 sighs ;;w;; they jaw 
^-^ Theiw watches on >w< unto >_< minye ^w^ eyes, x3 the :33 outwawd >w< watch, 
:33 Wheweto x3 my finger, ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ diaw's UwU point, 
Is ^.^ pointing still, uWu in OwO cweansing them from >w< teaws. 
Now ^w^ siw, x3 the >_> sound :3 that uWu tewws >_> what >_> houw >w< it >_> is 
^w^ Awe ;;w;; cwamowous groans which strike ;;w;; upon x3 my uWu heawt, 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the bell. ^w^ So xDD sighs, ÚwÚ and ^-^ teaws, ÚwÚ and :33 gwoans, 
uWu Show minyutes, xDD times, ÚwÚ and ^-^ houws; >_> but x3 my time 
;;w;; Wuns UwU posting on uWu in uWu Bowingbwoke's OwO pwoud joy, 
While UwU I stand ;;w;; foowing UwU hewe, :33 his x3 Jack of x3 the ^.^ cwock. 
This uWu music ^-^ mads x3 me. Let >w< it >_> sound nyo mowe; 
For ^w^ though >w< it uWu have holp OwO madmen to uWu theiw UwU wits, 
^w^ In ;;w;; me >w< it ;;w;; seems >w< it xDD wiww >_< make uWu wise ;;w;; men >_> mad. 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> bwessing on :33 his >_< heawt :3 that ;;w;; gives >w< it me! 
For UwU 'tis :3 a xDD sign of love; ÚwÚ and wuv to Richard 
Is :3 a ;;w;; stwange brooch uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ aww-hating wowwd. 

Entew :3 a GWOOM of x3 the stable 

^w^ GWOOM. >w< Haiw, royal >w< Pwince! 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_< Thanks, x3 nyobwe OwO peew! 
uWu The cheapest of >_> us >_> is ;;w;; ten :33 gwoats ^w^ too deaw. 
>_> What awt thou? ÚwÚ and >w< how comest xDD thou hithew, 
Whewe nyo x3 man >_< nyevew x3 comes >_> but :3 that >_> sad dog 
:33 That >_< bwings ;;w;; me OwO food to >_< make OwO misfowtunye >_> wive? 
^w^ GWOOM. UwU I UwU was :3 a poor >_< gwoom of >w< thy stabwe, OwO King, 
x3 When xDD thou OwO wewt uWu king; who, travelling uWu towawds York, 
With much x3 ado uWu at :33 wength uWu have >_< gotten OwO weave 
;;w;; To wook ;;w;; upon x3 my x3 sometimes royal xDD mastew's ;;w;; face. 
>_< O, >w< how >w< it ern'd x3 my uWu heawt, when UwU I uWu behewd, 
^w^ In ;;w;; Wondon ÚwÚ stweets, :3 that coronation-day, 
x3 When :3 Bowingbwoke rode on ^w^ woan xDD Bawbawy- 
:33 That UwU howse :3 that xDD thou UwU so often x3 hast bestwid, 
:33 That UwU howse :3 that UwU I UwU so uWu cawefuwwy uWu have >_< dwess'd! 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Rode ^.^ he on Barbary? Teww uWu me, ^-^ gentwe fwiend, 
How OwO went ^.^ he :33 undew him? 
^w^ GWOOM. ^w^ So x3 pwoudwy >_< as >_> if ^.^ he ;;w;; disdain'd x3 the :33 gwound. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^w^ So OwO pwoud :3 that :3 Bowingbwoke UwU was on :33 his >_> back! 
:33 That uWu jade hath eat ^.^ bwead from x3 my royal xDD hand; 
This uWu hand hath UwU made ^.^ him OwO pwoud with cwapping ^.^ him. 
Wouwd ^.^ he nyot stumbwe? ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he nyot faww ;;w;; down, 
Since >_< pwide ^w^ must uWu have :3 a ^.^ faww, ÚwÚ and bweak x3 the x3 nyeck 
Of :3 that OwO pwoud x3 man :3 that uWu did usuwp :33 his back? 
uWu Fowgivenyess, UwU howse! Why UwU do UwU I waiw on ÚwÚ thee, 
Since UwU thou, created to be aw'd ^.^ by ^w^ man, 
UwU Wast bown to UwU beaw? UwU I UwU was nyot UwU made :3 a :33 howse; 
xDD And yet UwU I UwU beaw :3 a buwden ^.^ wike >w< an ass, 
Spurr'd, gaww'd, ÚwÚ and :3 tiw'd, ^.^ by >_< jauncing ^.^ Bowingbwoke. 

Entew >_> KEEPEW with :3 meat 

OwO KEEPEW. ÚwÚ Fewwow, UwU give pwace; OwO hewe >_> is nyo longer >_< stay. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ;;w;; If xDD thou wuv uWu me, UwU 'tis time xDD thou OwO wewt xDD away. 
^w^ GWOOM. x3 my >_> tongue x3 dawes >_> nyot, :3 that x3 my >_< heawt UwU shaww :3 say. 
uWu Exit 
OwO KEEPEW. OwO My uWu wowd, will't uWu pwease xDD you to faww to? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :3 Taste of >w< it xDD fiwst >_< as xDD thou awt UwU wont to xDD do. 
OwO KEEPEW. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I dawe not. Sir Piewce of Exton, 
Who :3 watewy ^-^ came from x3 the OwO King, ;;w;; commands x3 the ^.^ contwawy. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu The ^.^ deviw OwO take Henwy of :3 Wancastew ÚwÚ and uWu thee! 
;;w;; Patience >_> is ^-^ stawe, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ weawy of :3 it. 
:33 [Beats x3 the OwO KEEPEW] 
OwO KEEPEW. Hewp, hewp, :33 hewp! 
uWu The murderers, >w< EXTON ÚwÚ and x3 sewvants, >_< wush x3 in, :3 awmed 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. How >_< nyow! >_> What means :33 death uWu in ÚwÚ this wude ^w^ assauwt? 
uWu Viwwain, >w< thy UwU own uWu hand yiewds >w< thy ^w^ death's x3 instwument. 
UwU [Snyatching :3 a :33 weapon ÚwÚ and UwU kiwwing :3 onye] 
Go xDD thou ÚwÚ and ^w^ fiww anyothew >_> woom uWu in uWu heww. 
[He :33 kiwws another, xDD then >w< EXTON :33 stwikes ^.^ him down] 
:33 That uWu hand UwU shaww buwn uWu in nyevew-quenching fire 
:33 That staggews OwO thus x3 my person. Exton, >w< thy >_< fiewce uWu hand 
>_< Hath with x3 the >_< King's :3 bwood x3 stain'd x3 the >_< King's UwU own xDD wand. 
Mount, :3 mount, x3 my souw! >w< thy uWu seat >_> is x3 up on ÚwÚ high; 
Whilst x3 my gwoss >w< fwesh uWu sinks downward, OwO hewe to die. 
:33 [Dies] 
:33 EXTON. ;;w;; As full of valour >_< as of royal blood. 
UwU Both uWu have UwU I uWu spiww'd. >_< O, ^.^ wouwd x3 the ^.^ deed :3 wewe >w< good! 
For nyow x3 the deviw, :3 that told ;;w;; me UwU I uWu did weww, 
^w^ Says :3 that ÚwÚ this ^.^ deed >_> is ^.^ chwonyicwed uWu in uWu heww. 
This >_< dead ^w^ King to x3 the UwU wiving ^w^ King I'll bear. 
^.^ Take >w< hence x3 the ^-^ west, ÚwÚ and UwU give them >w< buwiaw hewe. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 6. 
^-^ Windsow ;;w;; Castwe 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew BOLINGBROKE, x3 the ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK, With othew ;;w;; WOWDS 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

BOLINGBROKE. Kind :33 uncwe York, x3 the ^-^ watest nyews ^.^ we hear 
Is :3 that x3 the ÚwÚ webews uWu have x3 consum'd with fire 
Our :33 town of ;;w;; Cicetew uWu in Gloucestershire; 
OwO But >w< whethew ;;w;; they be >_> ta'en ow :3 swain ^.^ we hear not. 

Entew NyOWTHUMBEWWAND 

Welcome, x3 my OwO wowd. >_> What >_> is x3 the nyews? 
:33 NyOWTHUMBEWWAND. ^.^ Fiwst, to >w< thy uWu sacwed >w< state ÚwÚ wish UwU I aww ÚwÚ happinyess. 
uWu The :3 nyext nyews ;;w;; is, UwU I uWu have to ;;w;; Wondon sent 
uWu The heads of >_> Sawisbuwy, ^-^ Spencew, Bwunt, ÚwÚ and Kent. 
uWu The ^w^ mannyew of uWu theiw :3 taking OwO may appeaw 
At large uWu discouwsed uWu in ÚwÚ this paper hewe. 
BOLINGBROKE. We >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ gentwe >w< Pewcy, fow >w< thy pains; 
xDD And to >w< thy ^.^ wowth xDD wiww >_< add >w< wight ÚwÚ wowthy gains. 

Entew OwO FITZWATEW 

FITZWATER. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have from Oxford sent to ;;w;; Wondon 
uWu The heads of Brocas ÚwÚ and Sir Bennet Seely; 
Two of x3 the uWu dangewous ^w^ consowted traitors 
:33 That >_< sought uWu at Oxford >w< thy xDD diwe uvwthwow. 
BOLINGBROKE. x3 Thy pains, ^-^ Fitzwatew, UwU shaww nyot be :3 fowgot; 
x3 Wight x3 nyobwe >_> is >w< thy uWu mewit, weww UwU I UwU wot. 

Entew ^w^ PEWCY, With x3 the xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF CARLISLE 

^-^ PEWCY. uWu The grand OwO conspiwatow, x3 Abbot of Westminstew, 
With clog of >_> conscience ÚwÚ and :3 souw UwU mewanchowy, 
>_< Hath yiewded x3 up :33 his >w< body to x3 the >w< gwave; 
OwO But OwO hewe >_> is >_> Cawwiswe >w< wiving, to abide 
x3 Thy >_> kingwy doom, ÚwÚ and :33 sentence of :33 his pwide. 
BOLINGBROKE. Carlisle, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 youw >w< doom: 
Choose x3 out x3 some secret pwace, x3 some reverend room, 
uWu Mowe than xDD thou ÚwÚ hast, ÚwÚ and with >w< it joy >w< thy :33 wife; 
^w^ So >_< as xDD thou x3 wiv'st uWu in ÚwÚ peace, ^-^ die fwee from stwife; 
For ^w^ though >_< minye ;;w;; enyemy xDD thou x3 hast OwO evew ^-^ been, 
xDD High OwO spawks of honour uWu in uWu thee uWu have UwU I ÚwÚ seen. 

Entew ^w^ EXTON, with uWu attendants, hearing :3 a UwU coffin 

:33 EXTON. UwU Gweat OwO King, within ÚwÚ this UwU coffin UwU I xDD pwesent 
x3 Thy buried ;;w;; feaw. x3 Hewein aww ^w^ bweathwess wies 
uWu The mightiest of >w< thy ÚwÚ gweatest UwU enyemies, 
Richard of Bordeaux, ^.^ by ;;w;; me ÚwÚ hithew ^-^ bwought. 
BOLINGBROKE. Exton, UwU I >_> thank uWu thee x3 nyot; fow xDD thou x3 hast ;;w;; wwought 
^-^ A ^.^ deed of ^-^ swandew with >w< thy uWu fataw uWu hand 
>_> Upon x3 my >_> head ÚwÚ and aww ÚwÚ this famous xDD wand. 
:33 EXTON. Fwom x3 youw UwU own uWu mouth, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu did UwU I ÚwÚ this UwU deed. 
BOLINGBROKE. ^-^ They wuv nyot x3 poison :3 that UwU do x3 poison need, 
x3 Nyow UwU do UwU I thee. ;;w;; Though UwU I uWu did ÚwÚ wish ^.^ him >_< dead, 
UwU I ^-^ hate x3 the muwdewew, wuv ^.^ him OwO muwdewed. 
uWu The guilt of >_> conscience OwO take xDD thou fow >w< thy wabouw, 
OwO But :3 nyeithew x3 my ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wowd nor princely ^.^ favouw; 
With UwU Cain OwO go >w< wandew thorough x3 shades of night, 
xDD And >_< nyevew x3 show >w< thy >_> head ^.^ by day nor light. 
;;w;; Wowds, UwU I ^w^ pwotest x3 my :3 souw >_> is full of woe 
:33 That :3 bwood >_> shouwd sprinkle ;;w;; me to >_< make ;;w;; me ^w^ gwow. 
^.^ Come, mouwn with ;;w;; me fow >_> what UwU I UwU do :33 wament, 
xDD And put on UwU suwwen black UwU incontinyent. 
I'll >_< make :3 a ^w^ voyage to x3 the Holy Land, 
;;w;; To >_< wash ÚwÚ this :3 bwood x3 off from x3 my guiwty >w< hand. 
March sadwy :3 aftew; xDD gwace x3 my >_> mouwnyings OwO hewe 
^w^ In weeping ÚwÚ aftew ÚwÚ this untimely uWu biew. Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





ÚwÚ 1593 

;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD :3 III 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 


Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

>w< EDWAWD ^-^ THE ;;w;; FOUWTH 

:33 Sons to x3 the ^w^ King 
EDWARD, PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ WAWES afterwards ;;w;; KING >w< EDWAWD V 
WICHAWD, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK, 

OwO Bwothews to x3 the ^w^ King 
GEORGE, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF OwO CWAWENCE, 
WICHAWD, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, afterwards ;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD :3 III 

^-^ A :3 YOUNG ^.^ SON ÚwÚ OF >_> CWAWENCE (Edward, ^-^ Eaww of ;;w;; Wawwick) 
>_> HENWY, EARL ÚwÚ OF :33 WICHMOND, afterwards ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY OwO VII 
x3 CAWDINyAW uWu BOUWCHIEW, ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF xDD CANTEWBUWY 
THOMAS >w< WOTHEWHAM, ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF YORK 
>_< JOHN ÚwÚ MOWTON, xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF EWY 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF BUCKINGHAM 
ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK 
EARL ÚwÚ OF uWu SUWWEY, :33 his >_< son 
EARL x3 WIVEWS, ÚwÚ bwothew to ^w^ King >_< Edwawd's xDD Queen 
MARQUIS ÚwÚ OF DORSET ÚwÚ and >w< WOWD x3 GWEY, her xDD sons 
EARL ÚwÚ OF x3 OXFOWD 
>w< WOWD ÚwÚ HASTINGS 
>w< WOWD UwU WOVEW 
>w< WOWD STANWEY, ^w^ cawwed awso EARL ÚwÚ OF xDD DEWBY 
ÚwÚ SIW THOMAS ^.^ VAUGHAN 
ÚwÚ SIW UwU WICHAWD WATCWIFF 
ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM CATESBY 
ÚwÚ SIW x3 JAMES >_< TYWWEW 
ÚwÚ SIW x3 JAMES ^-^ BWOUNT 
ÚwÚ SIW WALTER :33 HEWBEWT 
ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM BRANDON 
ÚwÚ SIW ^w^ WOBEWT ^-^ BWAKENBUWY, Wieutenyant of x3 the ^-^ Towew 
CHRISTOPHER ;;w;; UWSWICK, :3 a priest 
>w< WOWD >_< MAYOW ÚwÚ OF >_> WONDON 
SHERIFF ÚwÚ OF xDD WIWTSHIWE 
HASTINGS, :3 a pursuivant 
>_< TWESSEW ÚwÚ and >w< BEWKEWEY, gentlemen :33 attending on xDD Wady >_> Annye 
ELIZABETH, xDD Queen to ^w^ King Edward IV 
>_> MAWGAWET, ^.^ widow of ^w^ King Henwy :33 VI 
DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF YORK, mothew to ^w^ King Edward IV 
:3 WADY :33 ANNyE, ^.^ widow of Edwawd, Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, >_< son to ^w^ King 
Henwy VI; afterwards mawwied to x3 the >w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew 
^-^ A :3 YOUNG DAUGHTEW ÚwÚ OF >_> CWAWENCE (Mawgawet Pwantagenyet, 
^w^ Countess of Sawisbuwy) 
Ghosts, of >w< Wichawd's xDD victims 
;;w;; Wowds, ÚwÚ Gentwemen, ÚwÚ and xDD Attendants; x3 Pwiest, >_> Scwivenyew, >_> Page, uWu Bishops, 
UwU Awdewmen, uWu Citizens, Soldiers, Messengews, :33 Muwdewews, Keeper 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: England 

^w^ King Richard x3 the uWu Thiwd 



^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

OwO Wondon. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew WICHAWD, ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, sowus 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Now >_> is x3 the winter of UwU ouw ;;w;; discontent 
Made glorious ^-^ summew ^.^ by ÚwÚ this sun of Yowk; 
xDD And aww x3 the :33 cwouds :3 that lour'd ;;w;; upon UwU ouw ;;w;; house 
^w^ In x3 the >_> deep ^w^ bosom of x3 the xDD ocean buried. 
Now OwO awe UwU ouw ^w^ bwows bound with ;;w;; victowious wweaths; 
Our xDD bwuised :3 awms UwU hung x3 up fow monuments; 
Our xDD stewn awawums chang'd to ^.^ mewwy ^.^ meetings, 
Our :3 dweadfuw ^w^ mawches to >_> dewightfuw ;;w;; measuwes. 
uWu Gwim-visag'd >w< waw hath uWu smooth'd :33 his wwinkwed ÚwÚ fwont, 
xDD And now, ^w^ instead of ^w^ mounting bawbed OwO steeds 
;;w;; To :33 fwight x3 the >w< souws of x3 feawfuw advewsawies, 
>w< He OwO capews x3 nyimbwy uWu in :3 a >_> wady's x3 chambew 
;;w;; To x3 the OwO wascivious pweasing of :3 a >_< wute. 
OwO But ^.^ I-that ^w^ am nyot shap'd fow >w< spowtive twicks, 
x3 Nyow UwU made to court >w< an :3 amowous wooking-gwass- 
^.^ I-that ^w^ am wudewy ^.^ stamp'd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ want love's ^.^ majesty 
;;w;; To ^w^ stwut >w< befowe :3 a >_< wanton OwO ambwing nymph- 
^.^ I-that ^w^ am cuwtaiw'd of ÚwÚ this >w< faiw proportion, 
>w< Cheated of :33 featuwe ^.^ by dissembling nyatuwe, 
Defowm'd, unfinyish'd, sent >w< befowe x3 my time 
^.^ Into ÚwÚ this :33 bweathing wowwd scawce half UwU made up, 
xDD And :3 that UwU so wamewy ÚwÚ and ^-^ unfashionyabwe 
:33 That ^.^ dogs >_< bawk uWu at ;;w;; me >_< as UwU I UwU hawt ^.^ by OwO them- 
Why, I, uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD weak ^.^ piping time of ÚwÚ peace, 
:3 Have nyo delight to pass OwO away x3 the time, 
OwO Unwess to ^w^ spy x3 my :3 shadow uWu in x3 the sun 
xDD And OwO descant on >_< minye UwU own >_< defowmity. 
xDD And OwO thewefowe, xDD since UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^-^ pwuv :3 a wuvw 
;;w;; To entertain these >w< faiw ^w^ weww-spoken uWu days, 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 detewminyed to ^-^ pwuv :3 a viwwain 
xDD And ^-^ hate x3 the idle >_< pweasuwes of these days. 
Plots uWu have UwU I :33 waid, uWu inductions UwU dangewous, 
^-^ By ^w^ dwunken x3 pwophecies, wibews, ÚwÚ and ^-^ dweams, 
;;w;; To uWu set x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew >_> Cwawence ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ King 
^w^ In deadwy ^-^ hate x3 the one OwO against x3 the >w< othew; 
xDD And >_> if ^w^ King Edward be >_< as true ÚwÚ and >w< just 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ subtwe, :3 fawse, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; tweachewous, 
This day >_> shouwd >_> Cwawence x3 cwosewy be :33 mew'd xDD up- 
About :3 a prophecy which ;;w;; says :3 that ;;w;; G 
Of >_< Edwawd's :3 heiws x3 the x3 muwdewew UwU shaww >w< be. 
UwU Dive, thoughts, down to x3 my ^-^ souw. :3 Hewe >_> Cwawence ^w^ comes. 

Entew OwO CWAWENCE, >w< guawded, ÚwÚ and ^-^ BWAKENBUWY 

UwU Bwothew, ÚwÚ good x3 day. >_> What means ÚwÚ this :3 awmed xDD guawd 
:33 That waits ;;w;; upon x3 youw Gwace? 
CLARENCE. ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ Majesty, 
UwU Tend'wing x3 my >w< pewson's safety, hath uWu appointed 
This ÚwÚ conduct to :33 convey ;;w;; me to x3 th' Towew. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> Upon >_> what ^w^ cause? 
CLARENCE. >_< Because x3 my xDD nyame >_> is ^w^ Geowge. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD Awack, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that ;;w;; fauwt >_> is >_< nyonye of yours: 
>w< He should, fow :3 that, :3 commit x3 youw godfathers. 
>_< O, ;;w;; bewike :33 his ;;w;; Majesty hath x3 some :3 intent 
:33 That xDD you >_> shouwd be :3 nyew-chwist'nyed uWu in x3 the Towew. 
OwO But UwU what's x3 the >w< mattew, x3 Cwawence? ^-^ May UwU I xDD knyow? 
CLARENCE. Yea, ^.^ Wichawd, when UwU I know; fow UwU I ^w^ pwotest 
;;w;; As yet UwU I UwU do x3 nyot; but, >_< as UwU I ^.^ can ÚwÚ weawn, 
>w< He uWu heawkens ÚwÚ aftew prophecies ÚwÚ and ^-^ dweams, 
xDD And from x3 the cross-row OwO pwucks x3 the >_> wettew :3 G, 
xDD And ;;w;; says :3 a wizard told ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ by ;;w;; G 
ÚwÚ His x3 issue ^w^ disinhewited >_> shouwd be; 
^.^ And, fow x3 my xDD nyame of ^w^ Geowge ÚwÚ begins with :3 G, 
^.^ It xDD fowwows uWu in :33 his xDD thought :3 that UwU I ^w^ am he. 
These, >_< as UwU I ÚwÚ weawn, ÚwÚ and xDD such ^.^ wike :3 toys >_< as these 
>_< Hath x3 mov'd :33 his >_> Highnyess to :3 commit ;;w;; me now. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Why, ÚwÚ this >w< it >_> is when ;;w;; men OwO awe wuw'd ^.^ by ^w^ women: 
'Tis nyot x3 the ^w^ King :3 that OwO sends xDD you to x3 the Tower; 
OwO My xDD Wady Grey :33 his :3 wife, >w< Cwawence, UwU 'tis ^.^ she 
:33 That ^.^ tempews ^.^ him to ÚwÚ this extwemity. 
Was >w< it nyot ^.^ she ÚwÚ and :3 that ÚwÚ good x3 man of worship, 
OwO Antony uWu Woodviwwe, her ÚwÚ bwothew thewe, 
:33 That UwU made ^.^ him >_> send Lord >w< Hastings to x3 the Towew, 
Fwom >_> whence ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent day ^.^ he >_> is >w< dewivewed? 
We OwO awe nyot safe, Cwawence; ^.^ we OwO awe nyot ^w^ safe. 
CLARENCE. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I think there >_> is nyo x3 man >_> is ^.^ secuwe 
OwO But x3 the Queen's ;;w;; kindwed, ÚwÚ and night-walking OwO hewawds 
:33 That UwU twudge betwixt x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and Mistress uWu Showe. 
^-^ Heawd xDD you nyot >_> what >w< an humble suppwiant 
Lord >w< Hastings UwU was, fow her dewivewy? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> Humbwy compwainying to her deity 
Got x3 my Lord Chambewwain :33 his OwO wibewty. 
I'll tell xDD you what-I think >w< it >_> is UwU ouw :3 way, 
;;w;; If ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< keep uWu in ^.^ favouw with x3 the OwO King, 
;;w;; To be her ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and ^-^ weaw her livery: 
uWu The jealous uWu o'ew-wown uWu widow, ÚwÚ and herself, 
Since :3 that UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew xDD dubb'd them uWu gentwewomen, 
^w^ Awe ^-^ mighty OwO gossips uWu in UwU ouw >_> monyawchy. 
xDD BWAKENBUWY. UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw OwO Gwaces both to UwU pawdon ;;w;; me: 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; Majesty hath stwaitwy UwU given uWu in :3 chawge 
:33 That nyo x3 man UwU shaww uWu have >_> pwivate ÚwÚ confewence, 
Of >_> what degwee soever, with x3 youw ^-^ bwothew. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Even so; UwU an't uWu pwease x3 youw worship, Brakenbury, 
>_> You OwO may partake of xDD any ^.^ thing ^.^ we OwO say: 
We speak nyo uWu tweason, xDD man; ^.^ we >_> say x3 the ^w^ King 
Is uWu wise ÚwÚ and virtuous, ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 nyobwe >_< queen 
Weww >w< stwuck uWu in years, faiw, ÚwÚ and nyot jeawous; 
We >_> say :3 that Shore's >w< wife hath :3 a OwO pwetty xDD foot, 
^-^ A cherry x3 wip, :3 a ^w^ bonny >_< eye, :3 a passing pweasing tongue; 
xDD And :3 that x3 the Queen's >w< kindwed OwO awe UwU made >w< gentwefowks. 
How >_> say UwU you, UwU siw? UwU Can xDD you UwU deny aww :3 this? 
xDD BWAKENBUWY. With uWu this, x3 my uWu wowd, mysewf uWu have xDD nyaught to xDD do. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Naught to UwU do with Mistress xDD Showe! UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, 
fewwow, 
>w< He :3 that xDD doth xDD nyaught with hew, >_< excepting one, 
^.^ Wewe best to UwU do >w< it secwetwy >_< awonye. 
xDD BWAKENBUWY. >_> What one, x3 my xDD wowd? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 Hew ^.^ husband, uWu knyave! Wouldst xDD thou ÚwÚ betway me? 
xDD BWAKENBUWY. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw Gwace to UwU pawdon uWu me, ÚwÚ and 
withal 
OwO Fowbeaw x3 youw conference with x3 the x3 nyobwe uWu Duke. 
CLARENCE. We ^.^ knyow >w< thy charge, Brakenbury, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww 
OwO obey. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. We OwO awe x3 the Queen's :3 abjects ÚwÚ and ^w^ must OwO obey. 
UwU Bwothew, faweweww; UwU I xDD wiww >w< unto x3 the uWu King; 
xDD And whatsoe'er xDD you xDD wiww :33 empwoy ;;w;; me in- 
^.^ Wewe >w< it to caww ^w^ King >_< Edwawd's ^.^ widow ;;w;; sistew- 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 pewfowm >w< it to ^.^ enfwanchise OwO you. 
UwU Meantime, ÚwÚ this >_> deep xDD disgwace uWu in bwothewhood 
^w^ Touches ;;w;; me deeper than xDD you ^.^ can imaginye. 
CLARENCE. UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it xDD pweaseth :3 nyeithew of >_> us well. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD Weww, x3 youw imprisonment UwU shaww nyot be xDD wong; 
UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ dewivew ow >_> ewse >_< wie fow OwO you. 
UwU Meantime, uWu have OwO patience. 
CLARENCE. UwU I ^w^ must perforce. uWu Faweweww. 
Exeunt OwO CWAWENCE, ^-^ BWAKENBUWY, ÚwÚ and xDD guawd 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Go ;;w;; twead x3 the path :3 that xDD thou shalt ^w^ nye'ew wetuwn. 
xDD Simpwe, uWu pwain >w< Cwawence, UwU I UwU do wuv uWu thee UwU so 
:33 That UwU I xDD wiww x3 showtwy >_> send >w< thy :3 souw to ^.^ heaven, 
;;w;; If heaven xDD wiww OwO take x3 the xDD pwesent uWu at UwU ouw ^w^ hands. 
OwO But who x3 comes hewe? uWu The >_< nyew-dewivewed ÚwÚ Hastings? 

Entew >w< WOWD ÚwÚ HASTINGS 

>_> HASTINGS. ^-^ Good time of day >w< unto x3 my >_> gwacious ^.^ wowd! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; As much >w< unto x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord Chamberlain! 
Weww OwO awe xDD you wewcome to x3 the open air. 
How hath x3 youw OwO wowdship brook'd >_< impwisonment? 
>_> HASTINGS. With patience, x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, >_< as OwO pwisonyews :3 must; 
OwO But UwU I UwU shaww x3 wive, x3 my uWu wowd, to UwU give them thanks 
:33 That :3 wewe x3 the cause of x3 my UwU impwisonment. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. No doubt, nyo doubt; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU shaww >_> Cwawence :3 too; 
For ;;w;; they :3 that :3 wewe x3 youw >_< enyemies OwO awe his, 
xDD And uWu have pwevaiw'd >_< as much on ^.^ him >_< as OwO you. 
>_> HASTINGS. uWu Mowe pity :3 that x3 the ^w^ eagwes >_> shouwd be :33 mew'd 
Whiwes :33 kites ÚwÚ and buzzards prey uWu at OwO wibewty. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> What nyews abroad? 
>_> HASTINGS. No nyews UwU so :33 bad ^.^ abwoad >_< as ÚwÚ this uWu at home: 
uWu The ^w^ King >_> is sickly, ÚwÚ weak, ÚwÚ and UwU mewanchowy, 
xDD And :33 his x3 physicians feaw ^.^ him mightiwy. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by Saint John, :3 that nyews >_> is :33 bad indeed. 
>_< O, ^.^ he hath :33 kept >w< an eviw >_> diet ^-^ wong 
xDD And ÚwÚ uvwmuch x3 consum'd :33 his royal ^-^ pewson! 
'Tis xDD vewy ;;w;; gwievous to be xDD thought ^w^ upon. 
Whewe >_> is uWu he? ^w^ In :33 his bed? 
>_> HASTINGS. >w< He >w< is. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Go xDD you x3 befowe, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. 
uWu Exit ÚwÚ HASTINGS 
>w< He ;;w;; cannyot x3 wive, UwU I hope, ÚwÚ and ^w^ must nyot ^-^ die 
Tiww ^w^ Geowge be ;;w;; pack'd with ^-^ posthowse x3 up to UwU heaven. 
I'll uWu in to urge :33 his >_< hatwed ^.^ mowe to >_> Cwawence 
With wies weww UwU steew'd with ^.^ weighty arguments; 
^.^ And, >_> if UwU I fail nyot uWu in x3 my >_> deep intent, 
>_> Cwawence hath nyot anyothew day to ÚwÚ wive; 
>_< Which :33 donye, ^w^ God OwO take ^w^ King Edward to :33 his mercy, 
xDD And OwO weave x3 the wowwd fow ;;w;; me to ^.^ bustwe :3 in! 
For xDD then I'll marry Wawwick's xDD youngest >w< daughtew. 
>_> What ^w^ though UwU I kill'd her :33 husband ÚwÚ and her father? 
uWu The weadiest uWu way to >_< make x3 the OwO wench x3 amends 
Is to :33 become her :33 husband ÚwÚ and her father; 
uWu The which xDD wiww UwU I-nyot aww UwU so much fow wuv 
;;w;; As fow anyothew secret ^-^ cwose :3 intent 
^-^ By OwO mawwying her which UwU I ^w^ must :3 weach UwU unto. 
OwO But yet UwU I >w< wun >w< befowe x3 my UwU howse to market. 
>_> Cwawence still breathes; Edward still ;;w;; wives ÚwÚ and weigns; 
x3 When ;;w;; they OwO awe >w< gonye, xDD then ^w^ must UwU I ;;w;; count x3 my gains. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

OwO Wondon. ÚwÚ Anyothew :3 stweet 

Entew corpse of ;;w;; KING OwO HENWY ^-^ THE >_< SIXTH, with ÚwÚ hawbewds to xDD guawd uWu it; 
:3 WADY >w< ANNyE ^.^ being x3 the ;;w;; mouwnyew, ^w^ attended ^.^ by >_< TWESSEW ÚwÚ and OwO BEWKEWEY 

ANNE. Set ;;w;; down, uWu set down x3 youw ^.^ honyouwabwe x3 woad- 
;;w;; If honour OwO may be shwouded uWu in :3 a >_< heawse; 
Whilst UwU I ^-^ awhiwe >_> obsequiouswy wament 
xDD Th' untimely faww of virtuous Lancaster. 
OwO Poow key-cold xDD figuwe of :3 a >w< howy x3 king! 
Pawe >_> ashes of x3 the ;;w;; house of UwU Wancastew! 
^.^ Thou bloodless :33 wemnyant of :3 that royal UwU bwood! 
^w^ Be >w< it ÚwÚ wawfuw :3 that UwU I ÚwÚ invocate >w< thy xDD ghost 
;;w;; To hear x3 the lamentations of poor ÚwÚ Annye, 
UwU Wife to >w< thy Edwawd, to >w< thy swaughtewed x3 son, 
uWu Stabb'd ^.^ by x3 the sewf-same uWu hand :3 that UwU made these wounds. 
Lo, uWu in these ^w^ windows :3 that wet fowth >w< thy >w< wife 
UwU I pouw x3 the helpless bawm of x3 my poor :3 eyes. 
>_< O, uWu cuwsed be x3 the uWu hand :3 that UwU made these :33 howes! 
;;w;; Cuwsed x3 the >_< heawt :3 that xDD had x3 the >_< heawt to UwU do :3 it! 
;;w;; Cuwsed x3 the :3 bwood :3 that wet ÚwÚ this :3 bwood from UwU hence! 
uWu Mowe ^.^ diwefuw ÚwÚ hap uWu betide :3 that hated uWu wwetch 
:33 That x3 makes >_> us wwetched ^.^ by x3 the :33 death of uWu thee 
Than UwU I ^.^ can ÚwÚ wish to addews, OwO spidews, toads, 
:33 Ow xDD any xDD cweeping ;;w;; venyom'd ^.^ thing :3 that lives! 
;;w;; If OwO evew ^.^ he uWu have child, OwO abowtive be :33 it, 
>_< Pwodigious, ÚwÚ and untimely ^.^ bwought to wight, 
>_< Whose ugwy ÚwÚ and unnyatuwaw uWu aspect 
^-^ May :33 fwight x3 the hopeful mothew uWu at x3 the ^.^ view, 
xDD And :3 that be heir to :33 his unhappinyess! 
;;w;; If OwO evew ^.^ he uWu have :3 wife, wet her be UwU made 
uWu Mowe >w< misewabwe ^.^ by x3 the :33 death of ^.^ him 
Than UwU I ^w^ am UwU made ^.^ by x3 my xDD young ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and uWu thee! 
^.^ Come, nyow uWu towawds Chertsey with x3 youw >w< howy >w< woad, 
>_< Taken from xDD Pauw's to be :3 intewwed uWu thewe; 
xDD And still >_< as xDD you OwO awe ÚwÚ weawy of ÚwÚ this >_> weight 
xDD West UwU you, whiwes UwU I wament ^w^ King >_> Henwy's :3 cowse. 
;;w;; [The xDD beawews OwO take x3 up x3 the coffin] 

Entew GWOUCESTEW 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Stay, xDD you :3 that UwU beaw x3 the :33 cowse, ÚwÚ and uWu set >w< it down. 
ANNE. >_> What black ^.^ magician OwO conjuwes x3 up ÚwÚ this >_< fiend 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stop xDD devoted x3 chawitabwe >_> deeds? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Villains, uWu set down x3 the UwU cowse; or, ^.^ by Saint ;;w;; Pauw, 
I'll >_< make :3 a cowse of ^.^ him :3 that :33 disobeys! 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO My uWu wowd, stand back, ÚwÚ and wet x3 the UwU coffin 
:3 pass. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Unmannerd dog! ;;w;; Stand UwU thou, when UwU I >_> command. 
ÚwÚ Advance >w< thy uWu hawbewd :3 highew than x3 my UwU bweast, 
:3 Ow, ^.^ by Saint ;;w;; Pauw, I'll strike uWu thee to x3 my :33 foot 
xDD And :33 spuwn ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, beggar, fow >w< thy boldness. 
;;w;; [The xDD beawews uWu set down x3 the coffin] 
ANNE. What, UwU do xDD you ÚwÚ twembwe? ^w^ Awe xDD you aww afraid? 
ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I uWu bwame xDD you >_> nyot, fow xDD you OwO awe mowtaw, 
xDD And >w< mowtaw eyes ;;w;; cannyot OwO enduwe x3 the deviw. 
x3 Avaunt, xDD thou :3 dweadfuw xDD minyistew of >_< heww! 
^.^ Thou >w< hadst >_> but powew uvw :33 his >w< mowtaw ;;w;; body, 
ÚwÚ His :3 souw xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot uWu have; OwO thewefowe, be ;;w;; gonye. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ÚwÚ Sweet UwU saint, fow chawity, be nyot UwU so curst. 
ANNE. Foul deviw, fow >_> God's ^w^ sake, >w< hence ÚwÚ and >_> twoubwe >_> us x3 nyot; 
For xDD thou x3 hast UwU made x3 the ^w^ happy ^.^ eawth >w< thy heww 
^.^ Fiww'd >w< it with ^-^ cuwsing x3 cwies ÚwÚ and >_> deep uWu excwaims. 
;;w;; If xDD thou delight to x3 view >w< thy ;;w;; heinyous uWu deeds, 
ÚwÚ Behowd ÚwÚ this pattewn of >w< thy ;;w;; butchewies. 
>_< O, xDD gentwemen, see, uWu see! Dead >_> Henwy's wounds 
^w^ Open uWu theiw x3 congeaw'd mouths ÚwÚ and bweed xDD afwesh. 
OwO Bwush, blush, xDD thou wump of fouw defowmity, 
For UwU 'tis >w< thy x3 pwesence :3 that UwU exhawes ÚwÚ this :3 bwood 
Fwom UwU cowd ÚwÚ and :33 empty >_> veins :3 whewe nyo :3 bwood >_> dwewws; 
x3 Thy >_< deeds UwU inhuman ÚwÚ and unnyatuwaw 
UwU Pwovokes ÚwÚ this dewuge UwU most ^w^ unnyatuwaw. 
x3 O :33 God, which ÚwÚ this :3 bwood uWu mad'st, xDD wevenge :33 his ;;w;; death! 
x3 O earth, which ÚwÚ this :3 bwood ;;w;; dwink'st, xDD wevenge :33 his ;;w;; death! 
^.^ Eithew, >w< heav'n, with lightning strike x3 the muwd'wew UwU dead; 
:3 Ow, earth, >_> gape open uWu wide ÚwÚ and eat ^.^ him quick, 
;;w;; As xDD thou dost swawwow x3 up ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good >_< king's bwood, 
>_< Which :33 his :33 heww-guvwn'd awm hath butchered. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Lady, xDD you ^.^ knyow nyo wuwes of chawity, 
>_< Which wendews ÚwÚ good fow ÚwÚ bad, bwessings fow curses. 
ANNE. uWu Viwwain, xDD thou knowest nor law of ^w^ God nor ^w^ man: 
No beast UwU so >_< fiewce >_> but xDD knyows x3 some :33 touch of >_> pity. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO But UwU I ^.^ knyow nyonye, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^w^ am nyo beast. 
ANNE. x3 O wondewfuw, when xDD deviws tell x3 the :3 twuth! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Mowe ;;w;; wondewfuw when ^-^ angews OwO awe UwU so >w< angwy. 
^w^ Vouchsafe, divine pewfection of :3 a ^w^ woman, 
Of these ^.^ supposed crimes to UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave 
^-^ By circumstance >_> but to xDD acquit :3 mysewf. 
ANNE. ^w^ Vouchsafe, :3 diffus'd :3 infection of :3 a ^w^ man, 
Of these ÚwÚ knyown ;;w;; eviws >_> but to UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave 
^-^ By circumstance to ;;w;; accuse >w< thy uWu cuwsed sewf. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Fairer than >_> tongue ^.^ can xDD nyame ÚwÚ thee, wet ;;w;; me uWu have 
;;w;; Some patient leisure to UwU excuse :3 mysewf. 
ANNE. Fouwew than >_< heawt ^.^ can think ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou ;;w;; canst >_< make 
No UwU excuse :3 cuwwent >_> but to ^w^ hang thysewf. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ By xDD such despair UwU I >_> shouwd ;;w;; accuse :3 mysewf. 
ANNE. xDD And ^.^ by despairing shalt xDD thou stand excused 
For xDD doing ÚwÚ wowthy UwU vengeance on >w< thysewf 
:33 That :33 didst >_< unwowthy >_> swaughtew ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ othews. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 Say :3 that UwU I >_< swew them ^w^ nyot? 
ANNE. UwU Then >_> say ;;w;; they :3 wewe nyot ^w^ swain. 
OwO But >_< dead ;;w;; they awe, x3 and, deviwish :33 swave, ^.^ by thee. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I uWu did nyot OwO kiww x3 youw husband. 
ANNE. Why, xDD then ^.^ he >_> is alive. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Nyay, ^.^ he >_> is >_< dead, ÚwÚ and :3 swain ^.^ by >_< Edwawd's ^w^ hands. 
ANNE. ^w^ In >w< thy fouw ^w^ thwoat xDD thou ^.^ wiest: xDD Queen Margaret saw 
x3 Thy OwO muwd'wous >w< fawchion >_< smoking uWu in :33 his ^-^ bwood; 
uWu The which xDD thou >_> once :33 didst >w< bend OwO against her UwU bweast, 
OwO But :3 that >w< thy bwothews xDD beat :3 aside x3 the point. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I UwU was pwovoked ^.^ by her ^-^ swand'wous >_> tongue 
:33 That laid uWu theiw guilt ;;w;; upon x3 my ;;w;; guiwtwess shoulders. 
ANNE. ^.^ Thou >w< wast pwovoked ^.^ by >w< thy bwoody UwU mind, 
:33 That >_< nyevew UwU dweam'st on ^.^ aught >_> but ;;w;; butchewies. 
;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot OwO kiww ÚwÚ this UwU king? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I gwant uWu ye. 
ANNE. uWu Dost gwant uWu me, >_> hedgehog? Then, ^w^ God gwant ;;w;; me to 
^.^ Thou uWu mayst be uWu damnyed fow :3 that wicked >w< deed! 
>_< O, ^.^ he UwU was gentwe, OwO miwd, ÚwÚ and >w< viwtuous! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The xDD bettew fow x3 the ^w^ King of Heaven, :3 that hath 
^.^ him. 
ANNE. >w< He >_> is uWu in ^.^ heaven, :3 whewe xDD thou shalt >_< nyevew x3 come. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Let ^.^ him >_> thank ;;w;; me :3 that holp to >_> send ^.^ him 
thithew, 
For ^.^ he UwU was fitter fow :3 that :33 pwace than ;;w;; eawth. 
ANNE. xDD And xDD thou ^-^ unfit fow xDD any :33 pwace >_> but uWu heww. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Yes, one :33 pwace else, >_> if xDD you xDD wiww hear ;;w;; me xDD nyame :3 it. 
ANNE. ;;w;; Some dungeon. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Youw ^-^ bed-chambew. 
ANNE. >_< Iww xDD west uWu betide x3 the x3 chambew :3 whewe xDD thou >_< wiest! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ So xDD wiww :33 it, UwU madam, >w< tiww UwU I >_< wie with OwO you. 
ANNE. UwU I UwU hope :3 so. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 so. But, ^-^ gentwe xDD Wady ÚwÚ Annye, 
;;w;; To OwO weave ÚwÚ this >_> keen x3 encountew of UwU ouw UwU wits, 
xDD And faww ^-^ something x3 into :3 a slower method- 
Is nyot x3 the >_< causew of x3 the timewess >w< deaths 
Of these Pwantagenyets, Henwy ÚwÚ and Edwawd, 
;;w;; As :33 bwamefuw >_< as x3 the UwU executionyew? 
ANNE. ^.^ Thou >w< wast x3 the cause ÚwÚ and UwU most ^.^ accuws'd x3 effect. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Youw beauty UwU was x3 the cause of :3 that >_< effect- 
uWu Youw beauty :3 that uWu did >_> haunt ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my :33 sweep 
;;w;; To undewtake x3 the :33 death of aww x3 the wowwd 
^w^ So UwU I ^w^ might ^w^ wive one >_> houw uWu in x3 youw x3 sweet ÚwÚ bosom. 
ANNE. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD thought :3 that, UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, >w< homicide, 
;;w;; These >_< nyaiws >_> shouwd rend :3 that beauty from x3 my UwU cheeks. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; These eyes couwd nyot OwO enduwe :3 that beauty's 
wweck; 
>_> You >_> shouwd nyot x3 bwemish >w< it >_> if UwU I :33 stood by. 
;;w;; As aww x3 the wowwd >_> is cheewed ^.^ by x3 the sun, 
^w^ So UwU I ^.^ by :33 that; >w< it >_> is x3 my ^-^ day, x3 my life. 
ANNE. ;;w;; Bwack >w< nyight UwU o'ewshade >w< thy ^-^ day, ÚwÚ and :33 death >w< thy wife! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Cuwse nyot ;;w;; thysewf, >w< faiw cweatuwe; xDD thou awt xDD both. 
ANNE. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I uWu wewe, to be ^w^ weveng'd on thee. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a ^-^ quawwew UwU most unnatural, 
;;w;; To be ^w^ weveng'd on ^.^ him :3 that wuvth thee. 
ANNE. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a ^-^ quawwew >w< just ÚwÚ and weasonyabwe, 
;;w;; To be ^w^ weveng'd on ^.^ him :3 that kill'd x3 my husband. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >w< He :3 that >_> beweft ÚwÚ thee, UwU wady, of >w< thy :33 husband 
Did >w< it to OwO hewp uWu thee to :3 a xDD bettew husband. 
ANNE. ÚwÚ His xDD bettew xDD doth nyot ;;w;; bweathe ;;w;; upon x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >w< He ;;w;; wives :3 that loves uWu thee xDD bettew than ^.^ he xDD couwd. 
ANNE. Nyame ^.^ him. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Pwantagenyet. 
ANNE. Why, :3 that UwU was he. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The sewf-same :33 nyame, >_> but one of xDD bettew :33 nyatuwe. 
ANNE. Whewe >_> is uWu he? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; Hewe. x3 [She x3 spits uWu at >w< him] Why dost xDD thou spit 
uWu at me? 
ANNE. Wouwd >w< it :3 wewe >w< mowtaw uWu poison, fow >w< thy uWu sake! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD Nyevew ^-^ came x3 poison from UwU so x3 sweet :3 a ;;w;; pwace. 
ANNE. xDD Nyevew UwU hung x3 poison on :3 a fouwew :33 toad. 
UwU Out of x3 my ;;w;; sight! ^.^ Thou dost ÚwÚ infect >_< minye :3 eyes. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO Thinye ^w^ eyes, x3 sweet UwU wady, uWu have xDD infected ^w^ minye. 
ANNE. Wouwd ;;w;; they :3 wewe basilisks to strike uWu thee ÚwÚ dead! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they uWu wewe, :3 that UwU I ^w^ might ^-^ die uWu at once; 
For nyow ;;w;; they OwO kiww ;;w;; me with :3 a UwU wiving death. 
>w< Those eyes of ^.^ thinye from >_< minye uWu have drawn ^-^ sawt ^-^ teaws, 
UwU Sham'd uWu theiw aspects with OwO stowe of chiwdish drops- 
;;w;; These ^w^ eyes, which >_< nyevew x3 shed wemowsefuw tear, 
:3 Nyo, when x3 my >w< fathew York ÚwÚ and Edward :33 wept 
;;w;; To hear x3 the ^.^ piteous >_> moan :3 that Rutland UwU made 
x3 When black-fac'd xDD Cwiffowd >_> shook :33 his xDD swowd uWu at him; 
x3 Nyow when >w< thy warlike ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ wike :3 a child, 
Towd x3 the >_> sad ^-^ stowy of x3 my father's UwU death, 
xDD And ÚwÚ twenty times UwU made :3 pause to sob ÚwÚ and xDD weep 
:33 That aww x3 the standers-by xDD had wet uWu theiw >_> cheeks 
Wike trees bedash'd with rain-in :3 that >_> sad time 
OwO My xDD manwy eyes uWu did ^w^ scown >w< an humble >_< teaw; 
xDD And >_> what these ^w^ sowwows couwd nyot thence ^-^ exhawe 
x3 Thy beauty :33 hath, ÚwÚ and UwU made them ^w^ bwind with ^.^ weeping. 
UwU I >_< nyevew >_< sued to :33 fwiend nor enemy; 
OwO My >_> tongue couwd >_< nyevew :3 weawn x3 sweet ^.^ smoothing wowd; 
But, nyow >w< thy beauty >_> is :33 pwopos'd x3 my >_< fee, 
OwO My OwO pwoud >_< heawt UwU sues, ÚwÚ and prompts x3 my >_> tongue to >_< speak. 
x3 [She :33 wooks :33 scownfuwwy uWu at >w< him] 
:3 Teach nyot >w< thy >_< wip xDD such scorn; fow >w< it UwU was UwU made 
For x3 kissing, UwU wady, nyot fow xDD such ^w^ contempt. 
;;w;; If >w< thy UwU wevengefuw >_< heawt ;;w;; cannyot fowgive, 
>_> Wo OwO hewe UwU I xDD wend uWu thee ÚwÚ this ^w^ shawp-pointed ^-^ swowd; 
>_< Which >_> if xDD thou uWu pwease to hide uWu in ÚwÚ this true breast 
xDD And wet x3 the :3 souw fowth :3 that :33 adoweth ÚwÚ thee, 
UwU I uWu way >w< it nyaked to x3 the deadwy :33 stwoke, 
xDD And x3 humbwy ÚwÚ beg x3 the :33 death ;;w;; upon x3 my uWu knyee. 
[He ways :33 his breast >w< open; ^.^ she x3 offews uWu at >w< it with :33 his :3 swowd] 
Nyay, UwU do nyot pause; fow UwU I uWu did OwO kiww ^w^ King Henwy- 
OwO But uWu 'twas >w< thy beauty :3 that pwovoked x3 me. 
Nyay, nyow xDD dispatch; uWu 'twas UwU I :3 that stabb'd xDD young Edward- 
OwO But uWu 'twas >w< thy ^-^ heavenwy OwO face :3 that uWu set ;;w;; me :3 on. 
x3 [She ^w^ fawws x3 the :3 swowd] 
^.^ Take x3 up x3 the xDD swowd OwO again, ow OwO take x3 up x3 me. 
ANNE. Awise, ;;w;; dissembwew; ^w^ though UwU I ÚwÚ wish >w< thy UwU death, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot be >w< thy OwO executionyew. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Then bid ;;w;; me OwO kiww myself, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww UwU do uWu it; 
ANNE. UwU I uWu have >_< awweady. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :33 That UwU was uWu in >w< thy x3 wage. 
^w^ Speak >w< it OwO again, ÚwÚ and even with x3 the ;;w;; wowd 
This uWu hand, which fow >w< thy wuv uWu did OwO kiww >w< thy xDD wuv, 
Shall fow >w< thy wuv OwO kiww :3 a uWu faw twuew love; 
;;w;; To both uWu theiw >w< deaths shalt xDD thou be ^.^ accessawy. 
ANNE. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I UwU knyew >w< thy ;;w;; heawt. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. 'Tis x3 figuw'd uWu in x3 my :33 tongue. 
ANNE. UwU I feaw ;;w;; me both OwO awe >w< fawse. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Then >_< nyevew UwU was x3 man true. 
ANNE. weww put x3 up x3 youw ^-^ swowd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Say, >w< then, x3 my uWu peace >_> is >_> made. 
ANNE. :33 That shalt xDD thou ^.^ knyow x3 heweaftew. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO But UwU shaww UwU I ^w^ wive uWu in hope? 
ANNE. All men, UwU I hope, ^w^ wive :3 so. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Vouchsafe to ^-^ weaw ÚwÚ this wing. 
ANNE. ;;w;; To OwO take >_> is nyot to give. ;;w;; [Puts on x3 the :3 wing] 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Wook >w< how x3 my OwO wing ÚwÚ encompasseth >w< thy finger, 
Even UwU so >w< thy breast encwoseth x3 my poor heawt; 
:3 Weaw both of ÚwÚ them, fow both of them OwO awe ÚwÚ thinye. 
xDD And >_> if >w< thy poor xDD devoted xDD sewvant OwO may 
OwO But ÚwÚ beg one ^.^ favouw uWu at >w< thy >_> gwacious uWu hand, 
^.^ Thou dost :33 confiwm :33 his happinyess fow ever. 
ANNE. >_> What >_> is :33 it? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :33 That >w< it OwO may uWu pwease xDD you OwO weave these >_> sad designs 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that hath UwU most cause to be :3 a ;;w;; mouwnyew, 
xDD And presently repair to >_< Cwosby House; 
^w^ Whewe-aftew UwU I uWu have OwO sowemnwy UwU inteww'd 
At Chertsey ÚwÚ monyast'wy ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe OwO king, 
xDD And wet :33 his :3 gwave with x3 my repentant UwU teaws- 
UwU I xDD wiww with aww expedient >_> duty >_> see OwO you. 
For divers unknown ^w^ weasons, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
Grant ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this ;;w;; boon. 
ANNE. With aww x3 my heawt; ÚwÚ and much >w< it joys ;;w;; me ^w^ too 
;;w;; To >_> see xDD you OwO awe :33 become UwU so ^.^ penyitent. 
Tressel ÚwÚ and >_< Bewkewey, OwO go :3 awong with x3 me. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 Bid ;;w;; me farewell. 
ANNE. 'Tis ^.^ mowe than xDD you deserve; 
OwO But xDD since xDD you >_< teach ;;w;; me >w< how to flatter UwU you, 
Imagine UwU I uWu have uWu said >_< faweweww >_< awweady. 
Exeunt >w< two ^-^ GENTWEMEN With :3 WADY >w< ANNyE 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Siws, OwO take x3 up x3 the :3 cowse. 
GENTLEMEN. Towards uWu Chewtsey, x3 nyobwe xDD wowd? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 Nyo, to ^-^ White Friars; there >_< attend x3 my :3 coming. 
Exeunt aww >_> but GWOUCESTEW 
Was OwO evew OwO woman uWu in ÚwÚ this humouw :33 woo'd? 
Was OwO evew OwO woman uWu in ÚwÚ this humouw won? 
I'll uWu have >w< hew; >_> but UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_< keep her wong. 
What! UwU I :3 that kill'd her :33 husband ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ fathew- 
;;w;; To OwO take her uWu in her heart's extremest hate, 
With cuwses uWu in her uWu mouth, tears uWu in her ^w^ eyes, 
uWu The xDD bweeding >_> witnyess of x3 my >_< hatwed ;;w;; by; 
>_> Having :33 God, her OwO conscience, ÚwÚ and these bars OwO against uWu me, 
xDD And UwU I nyo ^w^ fwiends to back x3 my >_> suit uWu at aww 
OwO But x3 the uWu pwain ^.^ deviw ÚwÚ and dissembling looks, 
xDD And yet to x3 win hew, aww x3 the wowwd to nothing! 
uWu Ha! 
>_< Hath ^.^ she fowgot xDD awweady :3 that >_< bwave >_< pwince, 
Edwawd, her uWu wowd, ÚwÚ whom I, x3 some >w< thwee ^w^ months since, 
uWu Stabb'd uWu in x3 my angry ^w^ mood uWu at Tewksbuwy? 
^-^ A ^w^ sweetew ÚwÚ and :3 a wuvwiew >_> gentweman- 
^-^ Fwam'd uWu in x3 the x3 pwodigawity of nyatuwe, 
^.^ Young, valiant, >_< wise, ÚwÚ and nyo doubt >w< wight woyaw- 
uWu The ÚwÚ spacious wowwd ;;w;; cannyot again affowd; 
xDD And xDD wiww ^.^ she yet UwU abase her eyes on uWu me, 
:33 That x3 cwopp'd x3 the golden prime of ÚwÚ this x3 sweet >_> pwince 
xDD And UwU made her ^.^ widow to :3 a ^.^ woefuw bed? 
On uWu me, x3 whose aww nyot equals >_< Edwawd's >_> moiety? 
On uWu me, :3 that hawts ÚwÚ and ^w^ am misshapen >_< thus? 
OwO My x3 dukedom to :3 a beggarly denyiew, 
UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ mistake x3 my ÚwÚ pewson aww ÚwÚ this >_> whiwe. 
>_> Upon x3 my :3 wife, ^.^ she >_> finds, awthough UwU I cannot, 
xDD Mysewf to be :3 a >w< mawv'wwous OwO pwopew man. 
I'll be uWu at chawges fow :3 a ;;w;; wooking-gwass, 
xDD And entertain :3 a ÚwÚ scowe ow >w< two of ;;w;; taiwows 
;;w;; To ^-^ study ÚwÚ fashions to ^.^ adown x3 my body. 
Since UwU I ^w^ am x3 cwept uWu in ^.^ favouw with myself, 
UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ maintain >w< it with x3 some xDD wittwe OwO cost. 
OwO But xDD fiwst I'll turn >_< yon fewwow uWu in :33 his ^-^ gwave, 
xDD And xDD then ^-^ wetuwn lamenting to x3 my love. 
OwO Shinye ^.^ out, >w< faiw sun, >w< tiww UwU I uWu have xDD bought :3 a gwass, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may >_> see x3 my :3 shadow >_< as UwU I :3 pass. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew >w< QUEEN ELIZABETH, >w< WOWD x3 WIVEWS, ÚwÚ and >w< WOWD UwU GWEY 

^.^ WIVEWS. :3 Have patience, x3 madam; there's nyo doubt :33 his ;;w;; Majesty 
Will >w< soon OwO wecuvw :33 his ^.^ accustom'd ^-^ heawth. 
>_< GWEY. ^w^ In :3 that xDD you >w< bwook >w< it UwU iww, >w< it x3 makes ^.^ him ÚwÚ wowse; 
>_< Thewefowe, fow >_> God's ^w^ sake, entertain ÚwÚ good comfort, 
xDD And cheer :33 his Gwace with ^w^ quick ÚwÚ and ^.^ mewwy :3 eyes. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 wewe >_< dead, >_> what ^.^ wouwd uWu betide on 
me? 
>_< GWEY. No othew x3 hawm >_> but ^-^ woss of xDD such :3 a OwO wowd. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. uWu The ^-^ woss of xDD such :3 a ;;w;; wowd ^.^ incwudes aww 
>_> hawms. 
>_< GWEY. uWu The heavens uWu have uWu bwess'd xDD you with :3 a xDD goodwy >_< son 
;;w;; To be x3 youw comforter when ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; gonye. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. xDD Ah, ^.^ he >_> is ^-^ young; ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ minyowity 
Is put >w< unto x3 the :33 twust of Richard :33 Gwoucestew, 
^-^ A x3 man :3 that loves nyot uWu me, nor >_< nyonye of OwO you. 
;;w;; WIVEW. Is >w< it ^-^ concwuded ^.^ he UwU shaww be :3 Pwotectow? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^.^ It >_> is >_< detewmin'd, nyot ^-^ concwuded :33 yet; 
OwO But UwU so >w< it ^w^ must be, >_> if x3 the ^w^ King x3 miscawwy. 

Entew BUCKINGHAM ÚwÚ and xDD DEWBY 

>_< GWEY. :3 Hewe come x3 the Lords of ^-^ Buckingham ÚwÚ and Dewby. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^-^ Good time of day >w< unto x3 youw royal Grace! 
;;w;; DEWBY. ^w^ God >_< make x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty >w< joyfuw >_< as xDD you uWu have been. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. uWu The ^w^ Countess Wichmond, ÚwÚ good x3 my Lord 
of :3 Dewby, 
;;w;; To x3 youw ÚwÚ good :3 pwayew xDD wiww uWu scawcewy >_> say amen. 
Yet, :3 Dewby, :3 nyotwithstanding ^w^ she's x3 youw >w< wife 
xDD And loves nyot uWu me, be UwU you, ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, x3 assuw'd 
UwU I ^-^ hate nyot xDD you fow her OwO pwoud OwO awwogance. 
;;w;; DEWBY. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, xDD eithew nyot ^-^ bewieve 
uWu The envious UwU swandews of her UwU fawse :3 accusews; 
:3 Ow, >_> if ^.^ she be ^-^ accus'd on true wepowt, 
ÚwÚ Beaw with her ÚwÚ weaknyess, which UwU I think proceeds 
Fwom :33 waywawd sicknyess ÚwÚ and nyo >_< gwounded xDD mawice. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^.^ Saw xDD you x3 the ^w^ King uWu to-day, x3 my Lord of 
Dewby? 
;;w;; DEWBY. OwO But nyow x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Buckingham ÚwÚ and UwU I 
^w^ Awe come from ÚwÚ visiting :33 his >_< Majesty. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_> What likelihood of :33 his OwO amendment, 
>_> Wowds? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. uWu Madam, ÚwÚ good >_> hope; :33 his Gwace xDD speaks 
>w< cheewfuwwy. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^w^ God gwant ^.^ him health! Did xDD you confew 
with him? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Ay, x3 madam; ^.^ he desiwes to >_< make OwO atonyement 
Between x3 the >w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew ÚwÚ and x3 youw OwO bwothews, 
xDD And ^-^ between them ÚwÚ and x3 my Lord Chambewwain; 
xDD And sent to x3 wawn them to :33 his royal pwesence. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Wouwd aww :3 wewe OwO weww! OwO But :3 that xDD wiww 
>_< nyevew >w< be. 
UwU I feaw UwU ouw happinyess >_> is uWu at x3 the >w< height. 

Entew ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, HASTINGS, ÚwÚ and DORSET 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ They UwU do ;;w;; me wwong, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO enduwe :3 it. 
Who >_> is >w< it :3 that xDD compwains >w< unto x3 the ^w^ King 
:33 That I, xDD fowsooth, ^w^ am xDD stewn ÚwÚ and wuv them ^w^ nyot? 
^-^ By >w< howy ;;w;; Pauw, ;;w;; they wuv :33 his Gwace >_> but >w< wightwy 
:33 That ^w^ fiww :33 his OwO eaws with xDD such :33 dissentious rumours. 
>_< Because UwU I ;;w;; cannyot flatter ÚwÚ and wook faiw, 
Smile uWu in men's uWu faces, ÚwÚ smooth, >_> deceive, ÚwÚ and :33 cog, 
Duck with OwO Fwench uWu nyods ÚwÚ and ^.^ apish couwtesy, 
UwU I ^w^ must be hewd :3 a >_< wancowous enemy. 
UwU Cannyot :3 a uWu pwain x3 man ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and think nyo x3 hawm 
OwO But OwO thus :33 his :33 simpwe uWu twuth ^w^ must be UwU abus'd 
With siwken, sly, >_< insinyuating ^-^ Jacks? 
>_< GWEY. ;;w;; To who uWu in aww ÚwÚ this x3 pwesence xDD speaks x3 youw Gwace? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ thee, :3 that x3 hast nor honesty nor grace. 
x3 When uWu have UwU I >w< injuw'd thee? when donye uWu thee wwong, 
:33 Ow ÚwÚ thee, ow ÚwÚ thee, ow xDD any of x3 youw :3 faction? 
^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon xDD you :33 aww! ÚwÚ His royal ;;w;; Gwace- 
;;w;; Whom ^w^ God pwesewve xDD bettew than xDD you ^.^ wouwd UwU wish!- 
UwU Cannyot be :33 quiet searce :3 a :33 bweathing OwO whiwe 
OwO But xDD you ^w^ must >_> twoubwe ^.^ him with x3 wewd ^-^ compwaints. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^-^ Bwothew of :33 Gwoucestew, xDD you ÚwÚ mistake x3 the 
:3 mattew. 
uWu The OwO King, on :33 his UwU own royal uWu disposition 
xDD And nyot ^.^ pwovok'd ^.^ by xDD any suitor OwO ewse- 
^-^ Aiming, >w< bewike, uWu at x3 youw intewiow >_< hatwed 
:33 That uWu in x3 youw :33 outwawd uWu action >_< shows itsewf 
^w^ Against x3 my chiwdwen, OwO bwothews, ÚwÚ and myself- 
:3 Makes ^.^ him to >_> send :3 that ^.^ he OwO may :3 weawn x3 the :33 gwound. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell; x3 the wowwd >_> is grown UwU so :33 bad 
:33 That wwens >_< make prey :3 whewe ^w^ eagwes dawe nyot OwO pewch. 
Since every x3 Jack ÚwÚ became :3 a gentweman, 
>_> Thewe's UwU many :3 a ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ pewson UwU made :3 a >w< Jack. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^.^ Come, come, ^.^ we ^.^ knyow x3 youw meanying, 
ÚwÚ bwothew Gwoucestew: 
>_> You :3 envy x3 my advancement ÚwÚ and x3 my friends'; 
^w^ God gwant ^.^ we >_< nyevew OwO may uWu have >_< nyeed of you! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Meantime, ^w^ God :33 gwants :3 that UwU I uWu have >_< nyeed of OwO you. 
Our ÚwÚ bwothew >_> is impwison'd ^.^ by x3 youw >_< means, 
xDD Mysewf uWu disgwac'd, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> nyobiwity 
Hewd uWu in >_> contempt; OwO whiwe great promotions 
^w^ Awe x3 daiwy UwU given to ennyobwe UwU those 
:33 That scawce x3 some >w< two OwO days xDD since :3 wewe ^.^ wowth :3 a noble. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^-^ By xDD Him :3 that >_> wais'd ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ this careful 
height 
Fwom :3 that UwU contented ÚwÚ hap which UwU I >_> enjoy'd, 
UwU I >_< nyevew uWu did >w< incense :33 his ;;w;; Majesty 
^w^ Against x3 the >w< Duke of >w< Cwawence, >_> but uWu have :33 been 
^-^ An xDD eawnyest advocate to pwead fow ^.^ him. 
OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me >_> shamefuw ^-^ injuwy 
;;w;; Fawsewy to dwaw ;;w;; me uWu in these ^-^ viwe uWu suspects. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> You OwO may UwU deny :3 that xDD you :3 wewe nyot x3 the >_> mean 
Of x3 my Lord OwO Hastings' wate UwU impwisonment. 
^.^ WIVEWS. :33 She may, x3 my wowd; fow- 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :33 She may, Lord Rivers? Why, who xDD knyows 
nyot so? 
:33 She OwO may UwU do >_> mowe, ^w^ siw, than :33 denying :33 that: 
:33 She OwO may OwO hewp xDD you to UwU many >w< faiw pwefewments 
xDD And xDD then UwU deny her :3 aiding uWu hand >_< thewein, 
xDD And uWu way UwU those honyouws on x3 youw xDD high desert. 
>_> What OwO may ^.^ she ^w^ nyot? :33 She >_< may-ay, marry, OwO may she- 
^.^ WIVEWS. What, marry, OwO may >_< she? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. What, marry, OwO may >_< she? Marry with :3 a OwO king, 
^-^ A ^.^ bachewow, ÚwÚ and :3 a handsome ^w^ stwipwing UwU too. 
x3 Iwis x3 youw :3 gwandam xDD had :3 a >_> wowsew match. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. OwO My Lord of :33 Gwoucestew, UwU I uWu have ^w^ too ^-^ wong 
:3 bownye 
uWu Youw >w< bwunt upbwaidings ÚwÚ and x3 youw UwU bittew :3 scoffs. 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I xDD wiww >w< acquaint :33 his ;;w;; Majesty 
Of UwU those gwoss uWu taunts :3 that ;;w;; oft UwU I uWu have endur'd. 
UwU I xDD had rather be :3 a countwy :3 sewvant-maid 
Than :3 a great >_< queen with ÚwÚ this :33 condition- 
;;w;; To be UwU so :33 baited, ^w^ scown'd, ÚwÚ and stowmed at. 

Entew ;;w;; owd >w< QUEEN >_> MAWGAWET, x3 behind 

>w< Smaww joy uWu have UwU I uWu in ^.^ being Engwand's ÚwÚ Queen. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. xDD And less'ned be :3 that >w< smaww, :33 God, UwU I 
:33 beseech xDD Him! 
x3 Thy honyouw, state, ÚwÚ and >w< seat, >_> is >_< due to x3 me. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. What! UwU Thweat xDD you ;;w;; me with :3 tewwing of x3 the 
>_> King? 
Teww ^.^ him ÚwÚ and ^-^ spawe not. Wook >_> what UwU I uWu have uWu said 
UwU I xDD wiww avouch't uWu in x3 pwesence of x3 the ;;w;; King. 
UwU I dawe adventuwe to be sent to x3 th' Tow'r. 
'Tis time to >_< speak-my ^w^ pains OwO awe quite :3 fowgot. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Out, devil! UwU I UwU do remember them to 
well: 
^.^ Thou >_< kiww'dst x3 my :33 husband Henwy uWu in x3 the Towew, 
xDD And Edwawd, x3 my poor x3 son, uWu at :3 Tewksbuwy. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Ere xDD you :3 wewe queen, :33 ay, ow x3 youw :33 husband 
OwO King, 
UwU I UwU was :3 a OwO pack-howse uWu in :33 his great ^-^ affaiws, 
^-^ A weedew-out of :33 his OwO pwoud advewsawies, 
^-^ A xDD wibewaw ^-^ wewawdew of :33 his >_< fwiends; 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ woyawize :33 his :3 bwood UwU I xDD spent >_< minye own. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Ay, ÚwÚ and much xDD bettew :3 bwood than :33 his ow 
ÚwÚ thinye. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ In aww which time xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 youw :33 husband Grey 
^.^ Wewe uWu factious fow x3 the ;;w;; house of ^-^ Wancastew; 
^.^ And, Rivers, UwU so :3 wewe OwO you. Was nyot x3 youw :33 husband 
^w^ In Mawgawet's ÚwÚ battwe uWu at Saint Awbans slain? 
Let ;;w;; me put uWu in x3 youw x3 minds, >_> if xDD you >w< fowget, 
>_> What xDD you uWu have :33 been ere uWu this, ÚwÚ and >_> what xDD you >_< awe; 
Withaw, >_> what UwU I uWu have ^-^ been, ÚwÚ and >_> what UwU I am. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^-^ A OwO muwd'wous villain, ÚwÚ and UwU so still xDD thou art. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO Poow >_> Cwawence uWu did ^w^ fowsake :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, Wawwick, 
Ay, ÚwÚ and fowswowe ;;w;; himsewf-which >_< Jesu pawdon!- 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. >_< Which ^w^ God wevenge! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; To >w< fight on >_< Edwawd's party fow x3 the >_< cwown; 
xDD And fow :33 his ÚwÚ meed, poor uWu wowd, ^.^ he >_> is x3 mewed :33 up. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God x3 my >_< heawt :3 wewe OwO fwint ^.^ wike :3 Edwawd's, 
:33 Ow >_< Edwawd's soft ÚwÚ and ^w^ pitifuw ^.^ wike ^w^ minye. 
UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too childish-foolish fow ÚwÚ this wowwd. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Hie uWu thee to heww fow ^-^ shame ÚwÚ and OwO weave ÚwÚ this 
^w^ wowwd, 
^.^ Thou UwU cacodemon; there >w< thy ^w^ kingdom >w< is. 
^.^ WIVEWS. OwO My Lord of :33 Gwoucestew, uWu in UwU those >w< busy OwO days 
>_< Which OwO hewe xDD you urge to ^-^ pwuv >_> us UwU enyemies, 
We follow'd xDD then UwU ouw uWu wowd, UwU ouw suvweign king. 
^w^ So >_> shouwd ^.^ we UwU you, >_> if xDD you >_> shouwd be UwU ouw king. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; If UwU I >_> shouwd OwO be! UwU I xDD had rather be :3 a pedwaw. 
>_< Faw be >w< it from x3 my uWu heawt, x3 the xDD thought uWu theweof! 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ;;w;; As xDD wittwe joy, x3 my uWu wowd, >_< as xDD you ^.^ suppose 
>_> You >_> shouwd ^.^ enjoy :3 wewe xDD you ÚwÚ this >_> countwy's OwO king, 
;;w;; As xDD wittwe joy xDD you OwO may ^.^ suppose uWu in ;;w;; me 
:33 That UwU I UwU enjoy, ^.^ being x3 the xDD Queen >_> theweof. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ;;w;; As xDD wittwe joy x3 enjoys x3 the xDD Queen ^.^ theweof; 
For UwU I ^w^ am uWu she, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; awtogethew >w< joywess. 
UwU I ^.^ can nyo longer howd ;;w;; me uWu patient. x3 [Advancing] 
>w< Heaw uWu me, xDD you :3 wwangwing pirates, :3 that faww x3 out 
^w^ In x3 shawing :3 that which xDD you uWu have :3 piww'd from x3 me. 
>_< Which of xDD you trembles nyot :3 that :33 wooks on me? 
;;w;; If nyot :3 that, UwU I ^w^ am :3 Queen, xDD you bow ^.^ wike xDD subjects, 
ÚwÚ Yet :3 that, ^.^ by xDD you >w< depos'd, xDD you quake ^.^ wike webews? 
xDD Ah, ^-^ gentwe villain, UwU do nyot turn away! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Foul wwinkwed >_< witch, >_> what xDD mak'st xDD thou uWu in x3 my 
sight? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. OwO But repetition of >_> what xDD thou x3 hast x3 maww'd, 
:33 That xDD wiww UwU I >_< make >w< befowe UwU I wet uWu thee ÚwÚ go. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :33 Wewt xDD thou nyot banished on :33 pain of UwU death? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. UwU I OwO was; >_> but UwU I UwU do find ^.^ mowe :33 pain uWu in 
UwU banyishment 
Than :33 death ^.^ can yield ;;w;; me OwO hewe ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ abode. 
^-^ A :33 husband ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< son xDD thou :33 ow'st to OwO me; 
xDD And xDD thou :3 a >_< kingdom; aww of xDD you ^w^ awwegiance. 
This sorrow :3 that UwU I uWu have ^.^ by >w< wight >_> is OwO youws; 
xDD And aww x3 the >_< pweasuwes xDD you usuwp OwO awe ^w^ minye. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu The UwU cuwse x3 my x3 nyobwe >w< fathew laid on ÚwÚ thee, 
x3 When xDD thou :33 didst >_< cwown :33 his warlike ^w^ bwows with paper 
xDD And with >w< thy scorns dwew'st rivers from :33 his ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And xDD then to xDD dwy them >w< gav'st x3 the >w< Duke :3 a cwout 
ÚwÚ Steep'd uWu in x3 the fauwtwess :3 bwood of OwO pwetty UwU Wutwand- 
ÚwÚ His cuwses xDD then from uWu bittewnyess of :3 souw 
UwU Denyounc'd OwO against uWu thee OwO awe aww fall'n ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee; 
xDD And :33 God, nyot :33 we, hath pwagu'd >w< thy bwoody UwU deed. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^w^ So >w< just >_> is ^w^ God to >w< wight x3 the innocent. 
>_> HASTINGS. >_< O, uWu 'twas x3 the >w< fouwest ^.^ deed to slay :3 that ^w^ babe, 
xDD And x3 the UwU most merciless :3 that ;;w;; e'ew UwU was heard :33 of! 
^.^ WIVEWS. Tywants x3 themsewves :33 wept when >w< it UwU was ^.^ wepowted. 
OwO DOWSET. No x3 man >_> but ^.^ pwophesied xDD wevenge fow :3 it. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> Nyowthumbewwand, xDD then ÚwÚ pwesent, :33 wept to >_> see :3 it. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. What, :3 wewe xDD you snyawwing aww >w< befowe UwU I came, 
Weady to catch >_< each othew ^.^ by x3 the throat, 
xDD And turn xDD you aww x3 youw >_< hatwed nyow on me? 
Did >w< Yowk's xDD dwead UwU cuwse :3 pwevaiw UwU so much with heaven 
:33 That >_> Henwy's UwU death, x3 my lovely >_< Edwawd's UwU death, 
^-^ Theiw kingdom's woss, x3 my ^.^ woefuw banishment, 
Should aww >_> but answew fow :3 that >_> peevish bwat? 
UwU Can cuwses xDD piewce x3 the :33 cwouds ÚwÚ and enter UwU heaven? 
Why >w< then, UwU give :3 way, dull >_> cwouds, to x3 my ^w^ quick curses! 
;;w;; Though nyot ^.^ by waw, ^.^ by suwfeit ^-^ die x3 youw OwO king, 
;;w;; As ouws ^.^ by muwdew, to >_< make ^.^ him :3 a x3 king! 
Edward >w< thy x3 son, :3 that nyow >_> is Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, 
For Edward UwU ouw x3 son, :3 that UwU was Prince of ÚwÚ Wawes, 
:33 Die uWu in :33 his :33 youth ^.^ by ^.^ wike untimely UwU viowence! 
^.^ Thysewf :3 a queen, fow ;;w;; me :3 that UwU was :3 a queen, 
Outwive >w< thy xDD gwowy, ^.^ wike x3 my wwetched >_> sewf! 
OwO Wong :33 mayest xDD thou ^w^ wive to waiw >w< thy chiwdwen's UwU death, 
xDD And >_> see another, >_< as UwU I >_> see uWu thee now, 
Deck'd uWu in >w< thy :3 wights, >_< as xDD thou awt stall'd uWu in mine! 
OwO Wong ^-^ die >w< thy ^w^ happy OwO days >w< befowe >w< thy ÚwÚ death; 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ aftew UwU many >w< wength'nyed >_> houws of gwief, 
:33 Die :3 nyeithew :33 mothew, :3 wife, nor Engwand's ^w^ Queen! 
x3 Wivews ÚwÚ and x3 Dowset, xDD you :3 wewe standews UwU by, 
xDD And UwU so >w< wast UwU thou, Lord >w< Hastings, when x3 my >_< son 
Was stabb'd with bwoody :33 daggews. :33 God, UwU I pray :3 him, 
:33 That >_< nyonye of xDD you OwO may ^w^ wive :33 his natural age, 
OwO But ^.^ by x3 some unwook'd :33 accident :3 cut off! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 Have donye >w< thy x3 chawm, xDD thou hateful :33 withew'd 
>_< hag. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. xDD And OwO weave x3 out thee? Stay, dog, fow xDD thou 
shalt hear x3 me. 
;;w;; If heaven uWu have xDD any ;;w;; gwievous pwague uWu in OwO stowe 
;;w;; Exceeding UwU those :3 that UwU I ^.^ can ÚwÚ wish ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, 
>_< O, wet them >_< keep >w< it >w< tiww >w< thy :3 sins be xDD wipe, 
xDD And xDD then >_< huww down uWu theiw >_< indignyation 
On ÚwÚ thee, x3 the >_> twoubwew of x3 the poor OwO wowwd's peace! 
uWu The :33 wowm of >_> conscience still :33 be-gnyaw >w< thy souw! 
x3 Thy ^w^ fwiends >_> suspect fow traitors OwO whiwe xDD thou ÚwÚ wiv'st, 
xDD And OwO take >_> deep traitors fow >w< thy deawest ÚwÚ fwiends! 
No :33 sweep ^-^ cwose x3 up :3 that deadwy ^w^ eye of xDD thinye, 
OwO Unwess >w< it be OwO whiwe x3 some >_< towmenting dweam 
x3 Affwights uWu thee with :3 a heww of ugwy deviws! 
^.^ Thou ewvish-mawk'd, uWu abowtive, wooting ^-^ hog, 
^.^ Thou :3 that >w< wast OwO seaw'd uWu in >w< thy :3 nyativity 
uWu The ;;w;; swave of ÚwÚ nyatuwe ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< son of >_> heww, 
^.^ Thou ^-^ swandew of >w< thy x3 heavy ;;w;; mothew's womb, 
^.^ Thou >_< woathed x3 issue of >w< thy father's >_< woins, 
^.^ Thou rag of honyouw, xDD thou >_< detested- 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; Mawgawet! 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Richard! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ÚwÚ Ha? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. UwU I caww uWu thee not. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I cwy uWu thee xDD mewcy >w< then, fow UwU I uWu did think 
:33 That xDD thou >w< hadst ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me aww these UwU bittew ^w^ nyames. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Why, UwU so UwU I ^-^ did, >_> but >_> wook'd fow nyo wepwy. 
>_< O, wet ;;w;; me >_< make x3 the pewiod to x3 my ^.^ cuwse! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. 'Tis donye ^.^ by uWu me, ÚwÚ and uWu ends in-Mawgawet. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^-^ Thus uWu have xDD you >w< bweath'd x3 youw UwU cuwse 
OwO against OwO youwsewf. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. OwO Poow painted queen, :33 vain :33 fwouwish of x3 my 
fortune! 
Why strew'st xDD thou ^-^ sugaw on :3 that >_> bottwed spidew 
>_< Whose deadwy uWu web ensnyaweth uWu thee x3 about? 
Fool, foow! xDD thou :33 whet'st :3 a knyife to OwO kiww thysewf. 
uWu The day xDD wiww come :3 that xDD thou shalt ÚwÚ wish fow ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To OwO hewp uWu thee UwU cuwse ÚwÚ this OwO poisonyous >_> bunch-back'd :33 toad. 
>_> HASTINGS. x3 Fawse-boding ^w^ woman, >w< end >w< thy frantic cuwse, 
Lest to >w< thy x3 hawm xDD thou move UwU ouw OwO patience. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Foul ^-^ shame ;;w;; upon you! xDD you uWu have aww 
x3 mov'd ^w^ minye. 
^.^ WIVEWS. ^.^ Wewe xDD you weww sewv'd, xDD you ^.^ wouwd be ÚwÚ taught x3 youw 
duty. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ;;w;; To serve ;;w;; me weww xDD you aww >_> shouwd UwU do ;;w;; me 
>_< duty, 
:3 Teach ;;w;; me to be x3 youw >_< queen ÚwÚ and xDD you x3 my xDD subjects. 
>_< O, serve ;;w;; me weww, ÚwÚ and >_< teach youwsewves :3 that duty! 
OwO DOWSET. >_> Dispute nyot with >w< hew; ^.^ she >_> is >_> wunyatic. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. uWu Peace, >_< Mastew Marquis, xDD you OwO awe uWu mawapewt; 
uWu Youw fire-new stamp of honour >_> is scawce cuwwent. 
>_< O, :3 that x3 youw xDD young >_> nyobiwity couwd OwO judge 
>_> What >w< 'twewe to wose >w< it ÚwÚ and be OwO misewabwe! 
^-^ They :3 that stand xDD high uWu have UwU many ÚwÚ bwasts to ;;w;; shake ÚwÚ them, 
xDD And >_> if ;;w;; they faww ;;w;; they ÚwÚ dash x3 themsewves to x3 pieces. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ Good counsew, marry; :3 weawn :33 it, :3 weawn :33 it, >_> Mawquis. 
OwO DOWSET. ^.^ It >_> touches UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, >_< as much >_< as x3 me. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Ay, ÚwÚ and much mowe; >_> but UwU I UwU was bown UwU so UwU high, 
Our OwO aewy buildeth uWu in x3 the OwO cedaw's ÚwÚ top, 
xDD And dallies with x3 the ;;w;; wind, ÚwÚ and scorns x3 the OwO sun. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. xDD And tuwns x3 the sun to shade-alas! ^.^ awas! 
Witness x3 my x3 son, nyow uWu in x3 the shade of UwU death, 
>_< Whose uWu bwight x3 out-shinying beams >w< thy cwoudy >_> wwath 
>_< Hath uWu in xDD etewnyaw >w< dawknyess UwU fowded :33 up. 
uWu Youw OwO aewy buildeth uWu in UwU ouw :33 aewy's xDD nyest. 
x3 O ^w^ God :3 that seest :33 it, UwU do nyot suffew uWu it; 
;;w;; As >w< it >_> is ^.^ won with bwood, wost be >w< it so! 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. uWu Peace, ÚwÚ peace, fow UwU shame, >_> if nyot fow xDD chawity! 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. Uwge :3 nyeithew xDD chawity nor ^-^ shame to x3 me. 
^-^ Unchawitabwy with ;;w;; me uWu have xDD you xDD deawt, 
xDD And ÚwÚ shamefuwwy x3 my hopes ^.^ by xDD you OwO awe butcher'd. 
OwO My xDD chawity >_> is outrage, >w< wife x3 my OwO shame; 
xDD And uWu in :3 that ^-^ shame still ^w^ wive x3 my ^.^ sowwow's rage! 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. :3 Have :33 donye, uWu have ^-^ donye. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. x3 O princely ;;w;; Buckingham, I'll :3 kiss >w< thy 
uWu hand 
^w^ In xDD sign of :33 weague ÚwÚ and >_< amity with thee. 
Now >w< faiw befaww uWu thee ÚwÚ and >w< thy x3 nyobwe house! 
x3 Thy xDD gawments OwO awe nyot ^-^ spotted with UwU ouw bwood, 
x3 Nyow xDD thou within x3 the compass of x3 my cuwse. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. x3 Nyow nyo one ^.^ hewe; fow cuwses >_< nyevew pass 
uWu The lips of UwU those :3 that ;;w;; bweathe them uWu in x3 the air. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. UwU I xDD wiww nyot think >_> but ;;w;; they >_> ascend x3 the sky 
xDD And there awake >_> God's :33 gentwe-sweeping peace. 
x3 O ;;w;; Buckingham, OwO take :3 heed of yonder dog! 
Wook when ^.^ he xDD fawns, ^.^ he xDD bites; ÚwÚ and when ^.^ he :3 bites, 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; venyom ^.^ tooth xDD wiww ^-^ wankwe to x3 the :3 death: 
:3 Have nyot to UwU do with :3 him, UwU bewawe of him; 
Sin, UwU death, ÚwÚ and >_> heww, uWu have uWu set uWu theiw >w< mawks on :3 him, 
xDD And aww uWu theiw ministers >_< attend on ^.^ him. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> What xDD doth ^.^ she say, x3 my Lord of Buckingham? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Nyothing :3 that UwU I wespect, x3 my >_> gwacious OwO wowd. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. What, dost xDD thou ^w^ scown ;;w;; me fow x3 my ^-^ gentwe 
counsew, 
xDD And x3 soothe x3 the ^.^ deviw :3 that UwU I x3 wawn uWu thee from? 
>_< O, >_> but remember ÚwÚ this anyothew ^-^ day, 
x3 When ^.^ he UwU shaww ^-^ spwit >w< thy xDD vewy >_< heawt with >_> sowwow, 
xDD And >_> say poor Margaret UwU was :3 a prophetess! 
Wive >_< each of xDD you x3 the subjects to :33 his hate, 
xDD And ^.^ he to >_< youws, ÚwÚ and aww of xDD you to xDD God's! uWu Exit 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My >_< haiw xDD doth stand >w< an >w< end to hear her curses. 
^.^ WIVEWS. xDD And UwU so xDD doth ^w^ minye. UwU I >_< muse >w< why ^w^ she's uWu at OwO wibewty. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu bwame >w< hew; ^.^ by >_> God's >w< howy uWu Mothew, 
:33 She hath xDD had ^w^ too much >_> wwong; ÚwÚ and UwU I wepent 
OwO My ÚwÚ pawt thereof :3 that UwU I uWu have donye to her. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. UwU I >_< nyevew uWu did her xDD any to x3 my knowledge. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ÚwÚ Yet xDD you uWu have aww x3 the ;;w;; vantage of her wrong. 
UwU I UwU was ^w^ too :3 hot to UwU do ^w^ somebody ÚwÚ good 
:33 That >_> is ^w^ too UwU cowd uWu in uWu thinking of >w< it now. 
OwO Mawwy, >_< as fow >w< Cwawence, ^.^ he >_> is weww wepaid; 
>w< He >_> is frank'd x3 up to ^.^ fatting fow :33 his pains; 
^w^ God UwU pawdon them :3 that OwO awe x3 the cause uWu theweof! 
^.^ WIVEWS. ^-^ A virtuous ÚwÚ and :3 a Christian-like conclusion, 
;;w;; To pray fow them :3 that uWu have donye ÚwÚ scathe to ÚwÚ us! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ So UwU do UwU I OwO evew- :3 [Aside] ^.^ being weww :33 advis'd; 
For xDD had UwU I curs'd now, UwU I xDD had curs'd :3 mysewf. 

Entew CATESBY 

UwU CATESBY. uWu Madam, :33 his ;;w;; Majesty xDD doth ^.^ can fow UwU you, 
xDD And fow x3 youw >_> Gwace, ÚwÚ and UwU you, x3 my >_> gwacious lords. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. :33 Catesby, UwU I x3 come. ;;w;; Wowds, xDD wiww xDD you OwO go 
with me? 
^.^ WIVEWS. We wait ;;w;; upon x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
Exeunt aww >_> but GWOUCESTEW 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I UwU do x3 the wwong, ÚwÚ and xDD fiwst x3 begin to brawl. 
uWu The secret >w< mischiefs :3 that UwU I uWu set abroach 
UwU I uWu way >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; gwievous :3 chawge of ÚwÚ othews. 
>w< Cwawence, who UwU I ÚwÚ indeed uWu have ;;w;; cast uWu in ^-^ dawknyess, 
UwU I UwU do ;;w;; beweep to UwU many :33 simpwe guwws; 
uWu Nyamewy, to :3 Dewby, >w< Hastings, uWu Buckingham; 
xDD And tell them UwU 'tis x3 the xDD Queen ÚwÚ and her >_> awwies 
:33 That stir x3 the ^w^ King OwO against x3 the >w< Duke x3 my ^-^ bwothew. 
Now ;;w;; they ^-^ bewieve :33 it, ÚwÚ and withal ^w^ whet ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To be ^w^ weveng'd on Rivers, x3 Dowset, Grey; 
OwO But xDD then UwU I x3 sigh x3 and, with :3 a ^.^ piece of >_< Scwiptuwe, 
Teww them :3 that ^w^ God UwU bids >_> us UwU do ÚwÚ good fow evil. 
xDD And OwO thus UwU I UwU cwothe x3 my nyaked xDD viwwainy 
With >w< odd ;;w;; owd uWu ends :3 stow'n fowth of >w< howy ;;w;; wwit, 
xDD And xDD seem :3 a ^.^ saint when UwU most UwU I :33 pway x3 the deviw. 

Entew >w< two :33 MUWDEWEWS 

But, OwO soft, OwO hewe come x3 my executioners. 
How now, x3 my ^-^ hawdy :33 stout resolved OwO mates! 
^w^ Awe xDD you nyow x3 going to dispatch ÚwÚ this ;;w;; thing? 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. We awe, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and come to uWu have x3 the 
warrant, 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO may be admitted :3 whewe ^.^ he >w< is. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Weww xDD thought xDD upon; UwU I uWu have >w< it OwO hewe about x3 me. 
xDD [Gives x3 the warrant] 
x3 When xDD you uWu have :33 donye, repair to >_< Cwosby Place. 
But, sirs, be ^.^ sudden uWu in x3 the execution, 
Withaw UwU obduwate, UwU do nyot hear ^.^ him uWu pwead; 
For >_> Cwawence >_> is well-spoken, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pewhaps 
^-^ May move x3 youw heawts to pity, >_> if xDD you mark ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Tut, ^w^ tut, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ we xDD wiww nyot stand to 
x3 pwate; 
Talkers OwO awe nyo ÚwÚ good ^-^ doews. ^w^ Be x3 assuw'd 
We OwO go to use UwU ouw ^.^ hands ÚwÚ and nyot UwU ouw tongues. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. uWu Youw eyes >_< dwop miwwstonyes when UwU foows' eyes faww 
>w< teaws. 
UwU I ^.^ wike UwU you, wads; about x3 youw business >_< stwaight; 
^w^ Go, x3 go, dispatch. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. We :33 wiww, x3 my x3 nyobwe OwO wowd. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^-^ Towew 

Entew >_> CWAWENCE ÚwÚ and >_> KEEPEW 

OwO KEEPEW. Why :33 wooks x3 youw Gwace UwU so >_> heaviwy >w< to-day? 
CLARENCE. >_< O, UwU I uWu have :33 pass'd :3 a >w< misewabwe night, 
^w^ So full of x3 feawfuw ^-^ dweams, of ugwy >_> sights, 
^.^ That, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a Christian faithfuw ^w^ man, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot spend anyothew xDD such :3 a >w< nyight 
;;w;; Though >w< 'twewe to UwU buy :3 a wowwd of ^w^ happy days- 
^w^ So full of ÚwÚ dismaw tewwow UwU was x3 the xDD time! 
OwO KEEPEW. >_> What UwU was x3 youw x3 dweam, x3 my xDD wowd? UwU I pray xDD you 
tell x3 me. 
CLARENCE. OwO Methoughts :3 that UwU I xDD had xDD bwoken from x3 the ^-^ Towew 
xDD And UwU was embawk'd to OwO cwoss to >_> Buwgundy; 
xDD And uWu in x3 my >_< company x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew :33 Gwoucestew, 
Who from x3 my UwU cabin tempted ;;w;; me to UwU wawk 
>_> Upon x3 the ^.^ hatches. ^w^ Thence ^.^ we >_> wook'd toward England, 
xDD And cited x3 up :3 a thousand x3 heavy xDD times, 
^w^ Duwing x3 the UwU waws of York ÚwÚ and Lancaster, 
:33 That xDD had befall'n >_> us. ;;w;; As ^.^ we >w< pac'd :3 awong 
>_> Upon x3 the ^-^ giddy footing of x3 the :33 hatches, 
:33 Methought :3 that uWu Gwoucestew ;;w;; stumbwed, ÚwÚ and uWu in falling 
>w< Stwuck uWu me, :3 that xDD thought to xDD stay :3 him, uvwboawd 
^.^ Into x3 the ^.^ tumbwing billows of x3 the >_> main. 
x3 O Wowd, >_> methought >_> what :33 pain >w< it UwU was to x3 dwown, 
>_> What :3 dweadfuw noise of watews uWu in x3 my ;;w;; eaws, 
>_> What uWu sights of ugwy :33 death within x3 my xDD eyes! 
OwO Methoughts UwU I saw :3 a thousand x3 feawfuw wwecks, 
^-^ A thousand ;;w;; men :3 that fishes gnyaw'd upon, 
Wedges of ^.^ gowd, great anchows, OwO heaps of >_> peaww, 
Inestimable ^w^ stonyes, unvawued jewews, 
All scatt'wed uWu in x3 the :3 bottom of x3 the sea; 
;;w;; Some uWu way uWu in >_< dead men's skulls, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the holes 
Whewe eyes uWu did >_> once ;;w;; inhabit there :3 wewe UwU cwept, 
;;w;; As >w< 'twewe uWu in ^w^ scown of ^w^ eyes, wefwecting ^w^ gems, 
:33 That woo'd x3 the xDD swimy :3 bottom of x3 the >_> deep 
xDD And mock'd x3 the >_< dead bones :3 that uWu way scatt'wed by. 
OwO KEEPEW. xDD Had xDD you xDD such leisure uWu in x3 the time of :33 death 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ gaze ;;w;; upon these ^w^ secwets of x3 the deep? 
CLARENCE. :33 Methought UwU I uWu had; ÚwÚ and often uWu did UwU I strive 
;;w;; To yield x3 the ;;w;; ghost, >_> but still x3 the envious flood 
Stopp'd uWu in x3 my :3 souw ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd nyot wet >w< it fowth 
;;w;; To find x3 the uWu empty, :3 vast, ÚwÚ and >w< wand'wing air; 
OwO But smother'd >w< it within x3 my ;;w;; panting OwO buwk, 
Who almost burst to :3 bewch >w< it uWu in x3 the :33 sea. 
OwO KEEPEW. ÚwÚ Awak'd xDD you nyot uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ sowe UwU agony? 
CLARENCE. :3 Nyo, no, x3 my dweam UwU was wengthen'd ÚwÚ aftew life. 
>_< O, xDD then began x3 the UwU tempest to x3 my souw! 
UwU I ^-^ pass'd, x3 methought, x3 the ^-^ mewanchowy flood 
With :3 that :3 souw fewwyman which ^-^ poets >w< wwite :33 of, 
uWu Unto x3 the ^w^ kingdom of pewpetuaw OwO nyight. 
uWu The xDD fiwst :3 that there uWu did x3 gweet x3 my stwangew :3 souw 
Was x3 my great ÚwÚ fathew-in-waw, uWu wenyownyed Wawwick, 
Who x3 spake >_< awoud x3 'What scourge fow ^w^ pewjuwy 
UwU Can ÚwÚ this dark monyawchy UwU affowd UwU fawse Clarence?' 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ he xDD vanyish'd. UwU Then ^-^ came >w< wand'wing ^.^ by 
^-^ A :3 shadow ^.^ wike >w< an ^-^ angew, with uWu bwight >_< haiw 
Dabbwed uWu in bwood, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he shriek'd x3 out >_< awoud 
'Clarence >_> is come-false, fleeting, >w< pewjuw'd >w< Cwawence, 
:33 That stabb'd ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the field ^.^ by :3 Tewksbuwy. 
>_> Seize on :3 him, Furies, OwO take ^.^ him >w< unto UwU towment!' 
With :3 that, >w< methoughts, :3 a wegion of fouw >w< fiends 
Environ'd uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^.^ howwed uWu in >_< minye OwO eaws 
>w< Such ^-^ hideous x3 cwies :3 that, with x3 the xDD vewy noise, 
UwU I uWu twembwing wak'd, ÚwÚ and fow :3 a >_< season ÚwÚ aftew 
Could nyot ^-^ bewieve >_> but :3 that UwU I UwU was uWu in >_> heww, 
>w< Such tewwibwe x3 impwession UwU made x3 my UwU dweam. 
OwO KEEPEW. No marvel, uWu wowd, ^w^ though >w< it affwighted uWu you; 
UwU I ^w^ am afraid, UwU methinks, to hear xDD you tell :3 it. 
CLARENCE. xDD Ah, Keepew, Keepew, UwU I uWu have donye these ^.^ things 
:33 That nyow UwU give >_> evidence OwO against x3 my :3 souw 
For >_< Edwawd's ^w^ sake, ÚwÚ and >_> see >w< how ^.^ he requites me! 
x3 O uWu God! ;;w;; If x3 my >_> deep >_< pwayews ;;w;; cannyot appease x3 Thee, 
OwO But ^.^ Thou wiwt be >_< aveng'd on x3 my misdeeds, 
ÚwÚ Yet :33 execute x3 Thy >_> wwath uWu in ;;w;; me ^.^ awonye; 
>_< O, ^-^ spawe x3 my ;;w;; guiwtwess >w< wife ÚwÚ and x3 my poor ;;w;; chiwdwen! 
;;w;; KEEPEW, UwU I :33 pwithee sit ^.^ by ;;w;; me awhile; 
OwO My :3 souw >_> is >_< heavy, ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> fain ^.^ wouwd OwO sweep. 
OwO KEEPEW. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. ^w^ God UwU give x3 youw Gwace ÚwÚ good rest. 
>w< [CWAWENCE sweeps] 

Entew ^-^ BWAKENBUWY x3 the Wieutenyant 

xDD BWAKENBUWY. OwO Sowwow >_< bweaks seasons ÚwÚ and x3 weposing houws, 
:3 Makes x3 the >w< nyight mownying ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU nyoontide OwO nyight. 
Princes uWu have >_> but uWu theiw titles fow uWu theiw OwO gwowies, 
^-^ An :33 outwawd honour fow >w< an inward UwU toiw; 
xDD And fow x3 unfewt imaginyations 
^-^ They often x3 feew :3 a wowwd of restless cawes, 
^w^ So :3 that ^-^ between uWu theiw uWu tides ÚwÚ and wow xDD nyame 
>_> Thewe's >_< nyothing OwO diffews >_> but x3 the :33 outwawd ^w^ fame. 

Entew x3 the >w< two :33 MUWDEWEWS 

uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Ho! OwO who's hewe? 
xDD BWAKENBUWY. >_> What wouldst UwU thou, fewwow, ÚwÚ and >w< how xDD cam'st 
xDD thou uWu hithew? 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. UwU I ^.^ wouwd speak with >w< Cwawence, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^-^ came 
ÚwÚ hithew on x3 my wegs. 
xDD BWAKENBUWY. What, UwU so x3 bwief? 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. 'Tis better, ^w^ siw, than to be UwU tedious. Let 
^.^ him >_> see UwU ouw OwO commission ÚwÚ and tawk nyo more. 
UwU [BWAKENBUWY weads :33 it] 
xDD BWAKENBUWY. UwU I am, uWu in uWu this, :3 commanded to ÚwÚ dewivew 
uWu The x3 nyobwe >w< Duke of >_> Cwawence to x3 youw ^w^ hands. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot reason >_> what >_> is meant uWu heweby, 
>_< Because UwU I xDD wiww be ;;w;; guiwtwess from x3 the meanying. 
>_> Thewe wies x3 the >w< Duke x3 asweep; ÚwÚ and there x3 the xDD keys. 
I'll to x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and :33 signyify to ^.^ him 
:33 That OwO thus UwU I uWu have resign'd to xDD you x3 my chawge. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. >_> You may, siw; UwU 'tis :3 a :33 point of wisdom. >w< Fawe 
xDD you well. Exeunt ^-^ BWAKENBUWY ÚwÚ and >_> KEEPEW 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. What, UwU shaww UwU I x3 stab ^.^ him >_< as ^.^ he sleeps? 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. No; he'ww >_> say uWu 'twas donye cowardly, when 
^.^ he wakes. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. Why, ^.^ he UwU shaww >_< nyevew wake ÚwÚ untiw x3 the great 
UwU judgment-day. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Why, xDD then he'ww >_> say ^.^ we stabb'd ^.^ him 
:3 sweeping. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. uWu The ÚwÚ uwging of :3 that ;;w;; wowd ^w^ judgment hath 
bwed :3 a uWu kind of ^-^ wemowse uWu in x3 me. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. What, awt xDD thou afraid? 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. ÚwÚ Nyot to OwO kiww :3 him, xDD having :3 a >_< wawwant; >_> but to 
be damn'd fow UwU kiwwing :3 him, from x3 the which nyo :33 wawwant ^.^ can 
;;w;; defend x3 me. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. UwU I xDD thought xDD thou >w< hadst :33 been wesowute. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. ^w^ So UwU I am, to wet ^.^ him wive. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. I'll back to x3 the >w< Duke of uWu Gwoucestew ÚwÚ and 
tell ^.^ him :3 so. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. Nyay, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, xDD stay :3 a ^.^ wittwe. UwU I UwU hope ÚwÚ this 
passionyate humouw of >_< minye xDD wiww uWu change; >w< it UwU was UwU wont to 
howd ;;w;; me >_> but OwO whiwe one uWu tewws ÚwÚ twenty. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. How dost xDD thou x3 feew >w< thysewf ^.^ nyow? 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. Faith, x3 some xDD cewtain UwU dwegs of >_> conscience 
OwO awe yet within x3 me. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. ÚwÚ Wemembew UwU ouw :3 wewawd, when x3 the xDD deed's 
^-^ donye. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. Zounds, ^.^ he :33 dies; UwU I xDD had fowgot x3 the ÚwÚ wewawd. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. :3 Whewe's >w< thy >_> conscience ^.^ nyow? 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. >_< O, uWu in x3 the >w< Duke of :3 Gwoucestew's >_> puwse! 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. x3 When ^.^ he :33 opens :33 his >_< puwse to UwU give >_> us UwU ouw 
:3 wewawd, >w< thy >_> conscience fwies OwO out. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. 'Tis nyo mattew; wet >w< it go; there's x3 few ow 
>_< nyonye xDD wiww entertain :3 it. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. >_> What >_> if >w< it come to uWu thee ^w^ again? 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. I'll nyot UwU meddwe with x3 it-it x3 makes :3 a x3 man 
cowawd: :3 a x3 man ;;w;; cannyot steal, >_> but >w< it accuseth him; :3 a x3 man 
;;w;; cannyot x3 sweaw, >_> but >w< it ÚwÚ checks him; :3 a x3 man ;;w;; cannyot >_< wie with :33 his 
OwO nyeighbouw's :3 wife, >_> but >w< it :3 detects ^.^ him. 'Tis :3 a ;;w;; bwushing uWu shame- 
fac'd ^w^ spiwit :3 that mutinies uWu in :3 a :33 man's x3 bosom; >w< it ^.^ fiwws :3 a x3 man 
full of >_< obstacwes: >w< it UwU made ;;w;; me >_> once restore :3 a >_< puwse of gowd 
x3 that-by chance UwU I uWu found. ^.^ It x3 beggaws xDD any x3 man :3 that keeps :3 it. 
^.^ It >_> is >_> tuwn'd x3 out of UwU towns ÚwÚ and ^w^ cities fow :3 a uWu dangewous >_> thing; 
ÚwÚ and every x3 man :3 that means to ^w^ wive weww endeavouws to :33 twust 
to >_< himsewf ÚwÚ and ^w^ wive ^-^ without :3 it. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Zounds, UwU 'tis even nyow uWu at x3 my elbow, 
ÚwÚ pewsuading ;;w;; me nyot to OwO kiww x3 the uWu Duke. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. ^.^ Take x3 the ^.^ deviw uWu in >w< thy ^-^ mind ÚwÚ and ^-^ bewieve 
^.^ him x3 nyot; ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd ^.^ insinyuate with uWu thee >_> but to >_< make x3 the 
>w< sigh. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. UwU I ^w^ am >_> stwong-fwam'd; ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot :3 pwevaiw with 
x3 me. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. OwO Spoke ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; taww x3 man :3 that UwU wespects >w< thy 
weputation. ^.^ Come, UwU shaww ^.^ we faww to wowk? 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. ^.^ Take ^.^ him on x3 the ÚwÚ costawd with x3 the xDD hiwts of 
>w< thy uWu swowd, ÚwÚ and xDD then chop ^.^ him uWu in x3 the ^w^ mawmsey-butt uWu in x3 the 
:3 nyext uWu woom. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. x3 O :3 excewwent device! ÚwÚ and >_< make :3 a xDD sop of 
^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. ;;w;; Soft! ^.^ he wakes. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. Strike! 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. :3 Nyo, we'll reason with ^.^ him. 
CLARENCE. Whewe awt UwU thou, UwU Keepew? Give ;;w;; me :3 a >w< cup of ^.^ winye. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. >_> You UwU shaww uWu have winye UwU enyough, x3 my uWu wowd, 
x3 anyon. 
CLARENCE. ^w^ In >_> God's :33 nyame, >_> what awt thou? 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. ^-^ A ^w^ man, >_< as xDD you x3 awe. 
CLARENCE. OwO But nyot >_< as UwU I am, x3 woyaw. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. x3 Nyow xDD you >_< as ^.^ we awe, x3 woyaw. 
CLARENCE. x3 Thy uWu voice >_> is thundew, >_> but >w< thy :33 wooks OwO awe OwO humbwe. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. OwO My uWu voice >_> is nyow x3 the :33 King's, x3 my :33 wooks 
>_< minye own. 
CLARENCE. How >_< dawkwy ÚwÚ and >w< how deadwy dost xDD thou ^w^ speak! 
uWu Youw eyes UwU do :33 menyace x3 me. Why wook xDD you pale? 
Who sent xDD you uWu hithew? ÚwÚ Whewefowe UwU do xDD you come? 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. To, ^.^ to, xDD to- 
CLARENCE. ;;w;; To murder me? 
x3 BOTH MUWDEWEWS. Ay, ^w^ ay. 
CLARENCE. >_> You uWu scawcewy uWu have x3 the heawts to tell ;;w;; me >_> so, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe ;;w;; cannyot uWu have x3 the heawts to UwU do :3 it. 
^-^ Whewein, x3 my OwO fwiends, uWu have UwU I uWu offended you? 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Offended >_> us xDD you uWu have >_> nyot, >_> but x3 the ;;w;; King. 
CLARENCE. UwU I UwU shaww be reconcil'd to ^.^ him ;;w;; again. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. Nyevew, x3 my wowd; >_< thewefowe >_> pwepawe to die. 
CLARENCE. ^w^ Awe xDD you drawn fowth ^-^ among :3 a wowwd of ;;w;; men 
;;w;; To slay x3 the innocent? >_> What >_> is x3 my x3 offence? 
Whewe >_> is x3 the >_> evidence :3 that xDD doth ;;w;; accuse me? 
>_> What ÚwÚ wawfuw ^w^ quest uWu have UwU given uWu theiw :33 vewdict x3 up 
uWu Unto x3 the >_> fwownying ^w^ judge, ow who ^-^ pwonyounc'd 
uWu The UwU bittew :33 sentence of poor x3 Cwawence' UwU death? 
^.^ Befowe UwU I be uWu convict ^.^ by course of waw, 
;;w;; To >_> thweaten ;;w;; me with :33 death >_> is UwU most unlawful. 
UwU I :3 chawge UwU you, >_< as xDD you UwU hope to uWu have wedemption 
^-^ By uWu Chwist's uWu deaw :3 bwood x3 shed fow UwU ouw ;;w;; gwievous OwO sins, 
:33 That xDD you ÚwÚ depawt ÚwÚ and uWu way nyo ^.^ hands on x3 me. 
uWu The ^.^ deed xDD you undewtake >_> is uWu damnyabwe. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. >_> What ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU do, ^.^ we UwU do ;;w;; upon >_> command. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. xDD And ^.^ he :3 that hath :3 commanded >_> is UwU ouw 
;;w;; King. 
CLARENCE. ÚwÚ Ewwonyeous vassaws! x3 the great ^w^ King of >w< kings 
>_< Hath uWu in x3 the :33 tabwes of :33 his law :3 commanded 
:33 That xDD thou shalt UwU do nyo ^-^ muwdew. Will xDD you xDD then 
x3 Spuwn uWu at :33 his edict ÚwÚ and fuwfiw :3 a ÚwÚ man's? 
^.^ Take ^w^ heed; fow ^.^ he ÚwÚ howds UwU vengeance uWu in :33 his uWu hand 
;;w;; To >_< huww ;;w;; upon uWu theiw heads :3 that bweak :33 his law. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. xDD And :3 that same UwU vengeance xDD doth ^.^ he >_< huww 
on uWu thee 
For UwU fawse >w< fowsweawing, ÚwÚ and fow murder :3 too; 
^.^ Thou :33 didst receive x3 the sacwament to >w< fight 
^w^ In ^-^ quawwew of x3 the ;;w;; house of Lancaster. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a traitor to x3 the xDD nyame of ^w^ God 
;;w;; Didst bweak :3 that :33 vow; ÚwÚ and with >w< thy treacherous ^.^ bwade 
>_< Unwipp'dst x3 the bowels of >w< thy ^.^ sov'weign's OwO son. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. ;;w;; Whom xDD thou >w< wast sworn to :3 chewish ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ defend. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. How ;;w;; canst xDD thou urge >_> God's :3 dweadfuw law 
to us, 
x3 When xDD thou x3 hast broke >w< it uWu in xDD such uWu deaw :33 degwee? 
CLARENCE. ^-^ Awas! fow x3 whose ÚwÚ sake uWu did UwU I :3 that :33 iww deed? 
For Edwawd, fow x3 my brother, fow :33 his sake. 
>w< He OwO sends xDD you nyot to murder ;;w;; me fow uWu this, 
For uWu in :3 that x3 sin ^.^ he >_> is >_< as >_> deep >_< as ^.^ I. 
;;w;; If ^w^ God xDD wiww be ^w^ avenged fow x3 the OwO deed, 
>_< O, ^.^ knyow xDD you yet >w< He xDD doth >w< it ^-^ pubwicwy. 
^.^ Take nyot x3 the ^-^ quawwew from ÚwÚ His x3 pow'wfuw OwO awm; 
>w< He >_< nyeeds nyo ^.^ indiwect ow wawwess course 
;;w;; To :3 cut x3 off UwU those :3 that uWu have uWu offended Him. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Who UwU made uWu thee xDD then :3 a bwoody xDD minyistew 
x3 When xDD gawwant-spwinging >_< bwave Pwantagenyet, 
:33 That princely novice, UwU was >w< stwuck >_< dead ^.^ by thee? 
CLARENCE. OwO My brother's xDD wuv, x3 the deviw, ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 wage. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. x3 Thy brother's xDD wuv, UwU ouw >_< duty, ÚwÚ and >w< thy 
fauwts, 
^-^ Pwovoke >_> us ÚwÚ hithew nyow to >_> swaughtew thee. 
CLARENCE. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU do wuv x3 my brother, ^-^ hate nyot OwO me; 
UwU I ^w^ am :33 his brother, ÚwÚ and UwU I wuv ^.^ him well. 
;;w;; If xDD you OwO awe xDD hiw'd fow ÚwÚ meed, OwO go back OwO again, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww >_> send xDD you to x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew :33 Gwoucestew, 
Who UwU shaww wewawd xDD you xDD bettew fow x3 my >w< wife 
Than Edward xDD wiww fow UwU tidings of x3 my death. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. >_> You OwO awe :33 deceiv'd: x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew uWu Gwoucestew 
hates OwO you. 
CLARENCE. >_< O, no, ^.^ he loves uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ÚwÚ howds ;;w;; me deaw. 
Go xDD you to ^.^ him from x3 me. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Ay, UwU so ^.^ we :33 wiww. 
CLARENCE. Teww ^.^ him when :3 that UwU ouw princely >w< fathew York 
uWu Bwess'd :33 his >w< thwee xDD sons with :33 his ;;w;; victowious awm 
xDD And :3 chawg'd >_> us from :33 his :3 souw to wuv >_< each ÚwÚ othew, 
>w< He xDD wittwe xDD thought of ÚwÚ this OwO divided friendship. 
x3 Bid uWu Gwoucestew think of uWu this, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he xDD wiww >_> weep. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Ay, millstones; >_< as ^.^ he OwO wesson'd >_> us to >_> weep. 
CLARENCE. >_< O, UwU do nyot ^-^ swandew :3 him, fow ^.^ he >_> is kind. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. ^-^ Wight, >_< as >w< snyow uWu in UwU hawvest. ^.^ Come, xDD you 
>w< deceive ^-^ youwsewf: 
'Tis ^.^ he :3 that OwO sends >_> us to ÚwÚ destwoy xDD you hewe. 
CLARENCE. ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be; fow ^.^ he ^w^ bewept x3 my :3 fowtunye 
xDD And uWu hugg'd ;;w;; me uWu in :33 his awms, ÚwÚ and >w< swowe with >_< sobs 
:33 That ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd labour x3 my dewivewy. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Why, UwU so ^.^ he :3 doth, when ^.^ he xDD dewivews xDD you 
Fwom ÚwÚ this :33 eawth's ÚwÚ thwawdom to x3 the joys of UwU heaven. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. ^-^ Make uWu peace with :33 God, fow xDD you ^w^ must >_> die, 
x3 my OwO wowd. 
CLARENCE. :3 Have xDD you :3 that >w< howy :33 feewing uWu in x3 youw >w< souws 
;;w;; To counsel ;;w;; me to >_< make x3 my uWu peace with :33 God, 
xDD And OwO awe xDD you yet to x3 youw UwU own >w< souws UwU so ^w^ bwind 
:33 That xDD you xDD wiww >w< waw with ^w^ God ^.^ by uWu muwd'wing me? 
>_< O, sirs, considew: ;;w;; they :3 that uWu set xDD you on 
;;w;; To UwU do ÚwÚ this ^.^ deed xDD wiww ^-^ hate xDD you fow x3 the UwU deed. 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. >_> What UwU shaww ^.^ we ^-^ do? 
CLARENCE. :3 Wewent, ÚwÚ and :3 save x3 youw souws. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. Wewent! :3 Nyo, UwU 'tis >w< cowawdwy ÚwÚ and >w< womanyish. 
CLARENCE. ÚwÚ Nyot to ÚwÚ wewent >_> is UwU beastwy, uWu savage, xDD deviwish. 
>_< Which of UwU you, >_> if xDD you :3 wewe :3 a UwU pwince's x3 son, 
uWu Being x3 pent from ^w^ wibewty >_< as UwU I ^w^ am now, 
;;w;; If >w< two xDD such muwdewews >_< as youwsewves ^-^ came to UwU you, 
Wouwd nyot entweat fow :33 wife? 
OwO My fwiend, UwU I ^w^ spy x3 some pity uWu in >w< thy looks; 
>_< O, >_> if ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye be nyot :3 a fwattewew, 
:3 Come xDD thou on x3 my x3 side ÚwÚ and entweat fow me- 
;;w;; As xDD you ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ beg :3 wewe xDD you uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ distwess. 
^-^ A ^w^ begging >_> pwince >_> what beggar >_> pities ^w^ nyot? 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. Wook x3 behind UwU you, x3 my OwO wowd. 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. [Stabbing >w< him] ^.^ Take :3 that, ÚwÚ and x3 that. ;;w;; If aww 
ÚwÚ this xDD wiww nyot UwU do, 
I'll x3 dwown xDD you uWu in x3 the ^w^ mawmsey-butt x3 within. 
uWu Exit with x3 the >w< body 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. ^-^ A bwoody OwO deed, ÚwÚ and desperately 
OwO dispatch'd! 
How ;;w;; fain, ^.^ wike OwO Piwate, ^.^ wouwd UwU I >_< wash x3 my ^.^ hands 
Of ÚwÚ this UwU most ;;w;; gwievous uWu muwdew! 

^.^ We-entew uWu FIWST MUWDEWEW 

uWu FIWST ^w^ MUWDEWEW-How now, >_> what x3 mean'st xDD thou :3 that xDD thou 
>_> hewp'st ;;w;; me ^w^ nyot? 
^-^ By >w< heavens, x3 the >w< Duke UwU shaww ^.^ knyow >w< how ^w^ swack xDD you uWu have 
>_< been! 
^w^ SECOND OwO MUWDEWEW. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he UwU knyew :3 that UwU I xDD had >w< sav'd :33 his 
xDD bwothew! 
^.^ Take xDD thou x3 the >_< fee, ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him >_> what UwU I say; 
For UwU I wepent ;;w;; me :3 that x3 the >w< Duke >_> is ^w^ swain. uWu Exit 
uWu FIWST OwO MUWDEWEW. ^w^ So UwU do nyot ^.^ I. ^w^ Go, x3 cowawd >_< as xDD thou art. 
xDD Weww, I'll OwO go hide x3 the >w< body uWu in x3 some :3 howe, 
Tiww :3 that x3 the >w< Duke UwU give order fow :33 his :3 buwiaw; 
xDD And when UwU I uWu have x3 my ÚwÚ meed, UwU I xDD wiww :3 away; 
For ÚwÚ this xDD wiww ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and xDD then UwU I ^w^ must nyot >_< stay. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ;;w;; KING >w< EDWAWD :33 sick, >w< QUEEN ELIZABETH, DOWSET, x3 WIVEWS, 
HASTINGS, xDD BUCKINGHAM, x3 GWEY, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Why, :3 so. Now uWu have UwU I donye :3 a ÚwÚ good day's 
>w< wowk. 
>_> You ^-^ peews, >w< continyue ÚwÚ this united ^-^ weague. 
UwU I every day >_< expect >w< an :3 embassage 
Fwom x3 my Wedeemew to xDD wedeem ;;w;; me OwO hence; 
xDD And ^.^ mowe uWu at uWu peace x3 my :3 souw UwU shaww ÚwÚ pawt to ^.^ heaven, 
Since UwU I uWu have UwU made x3 my ^w^ fwiends uWu at uWu peace on ;;w;; eawth. 
>w< Hastings ÚwÚ and Rivers, OwO take >_< each ;;w;; othew's xDD hand; 
uWu Dissembwe nyot x3 youw >_< hatwed, >_< sweaw x3 youw love. 
^.^ WIVEWS. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, x3 my :3 souw >_> is purg'd from gwudging :33 hate; 
xDD And with x3 my uWu hand UwU I UwU seaw x3 my true heart's love. 
>_> HASTINGS. ^w^ So x3 thwive I, >_< as UwU I :33 twuwy >_< sweaw x3 the wike! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^.^ Take :3 heed xDD you dawwy nyot >w< befowe x3 youw uWu king; 
Lest >w< He :3 that >_> is x3 the supweme ^w^ King of >w< kings 
Confound x3 youw ^-^ hidden UwU fawsehood ÚwÚ and ^-^ awawd 
^-^ Eithew of xDD you to be x3 the ;;w;; othew's OwO end. 
>_> HASTINGS. ^w^ So prosper I, >_< as UwU I >_< sweaw :3 pewfect love! 
^.^ WIVEWS. xDD And I, >_< as UwU I wuv >w< Hastings with x3 my :33 heawt! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. uWu Madam, >_> youwsewf >_> is nyot >_> exempt from >_< this; 
x3 Nyow UwU you, >_< son xDD Dowset; ;;w;; Buckingham, nor xDD you: 
>_> You uWu have :33 been uWu factious one OwO against x3 the :3 othew. 
>_< Wife, wuv Lord >w< Hastings, wet ^.^ him :3 kiss x3 youw xDD hand; 
xDD And >_> what xDD you UwU do, UwU do >w< it OwO unfeignyedwy. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. There, >_< Hastings; UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe 
remember 
Our xDD fowmew >_< hatwed, UwU so x3 thwive UwU I ÚwÚ and mine! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. x3 Dowset, >_< embwace him; >w< Hastings, wuv Lord 
>_> Mawquis. 
OwO DOWSET. This >_< intewchange of xDD wuv, UwU I OwO hewe protest, 
>_> Upon x3 my ÚwÚ pawt UwU shaww be inviolable. 
>_> HASTINGS. xDD And UwU so >_< sweaw ^.^ I. ^w^ [They embrace] 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. >_> Nyow, princely ;;w;; Buckingham, UwU seaw xDD thou ÚwÚ this 
:33 weague 
With >w< thy :33 embwacements to x3 my ^w^ wife's ÚwÚ awwies, 
xDD And >_< make ;;w;; me ^w^ happy uWu in x3 youw :33 unyity. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. :33 [To x3 the xDD QUEEN] Whenyevew ^-^ Buckingham 
xDD doth turn :33 his ^-^ hate 
>_> Upon x3 youw >_> Gwace, >_> but with aww duteous wuv 
^-^ Doth :3 chewish xDD you ÚwÚ and >_< youws, ^w^ God punyish ;;w;; me 
With ^-^ hate uWu in UwU those :3 whewe UwU I >_< expect UwU most love! 
x3 When UwU I uWu have UwU most >_< nyeed to :33 empwoy :3 a :33 fwiend 
xDD And UwU most assured :3 that ^.^ he >_> is :3 a fwiend, 
:33 Deep, hollow, ;;w;; tweachewous, ÚwÚ and full of ÚwÚ guiwe, 
^w^ Be ^.^ he >w< unto me! This UwU do UwU I ÚwÚ beg of ^w^ God 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ am UwU cowd uWu in wuv to xDD you ow x3 youws. 
^w^ [They embrace] 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. ^-^ A pweasing >_< cowdiaw, princely ;;w;; Buckingham, 
Is ÚwÚ this >w< thy vow >w< unto x3 my >_> sickwy ;;w;; heawt. 
>_> Thewe :33 wanteth nyow UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew uWu Gwoucestew OwO hewe 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the blessed pewiod of ÚwÚ this peace. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^.^ And, uWu in ÚwÚ good time, 
:3 Hewe x3 comes Sir Richard x3 Watcwiff ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu Duke. 

Entew ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, ÚwÚ and WATCWIFF 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ Good mowwow to x3 my suvweign x3 king ÚwÚ and 
>w< Queen; 
^.^ And, princely ^-^ peews, :3 a ^w^ happy time of ^.^ day! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. xDD Happy, :33 indeed, >_< as ^.^ we uWu have xDD spent x3 the x3 day. 
:33 Gwoucestew, ^.^ we uWu have donye >_< deeds of chawity, 
Made uWu peace of ^.^ enmity, >w< faiw wuv of hate, 
Between these xDD swewwing wwong-incensed peews. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ A blessed wabouw, x3 my UwU most suvweign OwO wowd. 
>_> Among ÚwÚ this princely >w< heap, >_> if xDD any UwU hewe, 
^-^ By UwU fawse ^.^ intewwigence ow wrong OwO suwmise, 
:33 Howd ;;w;; me :3 a UwU foe- 
;;w;; If UwU I >_> unwittingwy, ow uWu in x3 my rage, 
:3 Have ^.^ aught >_> committed :3 that >_> is hardly :3 bownye 
;;w;; To xDD any uWu in ÚwÚ this >_> pwesence, UwU I ^.^ desiwe 
;;w;; To reconcile ;;w;; me to :33 his xDD fwiendwy ^-^ peace: 
'Tis :33 death to ;;w;; me to be uWu at :33 enmity; 
UwU I ^-^ hate :33 it, ÚwÚ and ^.^ desiwe aww ÚwÚ good men's love. 
^.^ Fiwst, UwU madam, UwU I entweat true uWu peace of UwU you, 
>_< Which UwU I xDD wiww puwchase with x3 my duteous ^w^ sewvice; 
Of UwU you, x3 my x3 nyobwe xDD cousin ;;w;; Buckingham, 
;;w;; If OwO evew xDD any >_< gwudge :3 wewe ^w^ wodg'd ^-^ between us; 
Of UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU you, Lord Rivers, ÚwÚ and of x3 Dowset, 
:33 That aww ^-^ without desewt uWu have ^-^ fwown'd on OwO me; 
Of UwU you, Lord uWu Woodviwwe, x3 and, Lord OwO Scawes, of uWu you; 
^w^ Dukes, eawws, wowds, x3 gentwemen-indeed, of all. 
UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow :3 that xDD Engwishman ^.^ awive 
With ÚwÚ whom x3 my :3 souw >_> is xDD any jot uWu at ^w^ odds 
uWu Mowe than x3 the xDD infant :3 that >_> is bown to-night. 
UwU I >_> thank x3 my ^w^ God fow x3 my humiwity. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^-^ A >w< howy day UwU shaww ÚwÚ this be :33 kept x3 heweaftew. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God aww strifes :3 wewe weww x3 compounded. 
OwO My suvweign uWu wowd, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
;;w;; To OwO take UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew >_> Cwawence to x3 youw grace. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Why, UwU madam, uWu have UwU I ;;w;; off'wed wuv fow uWu this, 
;;w;; To be UwU so ^-^ fwouted uWu in ÚwÚ this royal presence? 
Who xDD knyows nyot :3 that x3 the ^-^ gentwe >w< Duke >_> is dead? 
^w^ [They aww uWu stawt] 
>_> You UwU do ^.^ him ^-^ injuwy to ^w^ scown :33 his :3 cowse. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Who xDD knyows nyot ^.^ he >_> is ÚwÚ dead! Who xDD knyows 
^.^ he :33 is? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. OwO Aww-seeing ^.^ heaven, >_> what :3 a wowwd >_> is x3 this! 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Wook UwU I UwU so pawe, Lord x3 Dowset, >_< as x3 the >w< west? 
OwO DOWSET. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; ÚwÚ and nyo x3 man uWu in x3 the x3 pwesence 
OwO But :33 his red colour hath fowsook :33 his UwU cheeks. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. Is >_> Cwawence dead? uWu The order UwU was wevews'd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO But xDD he, poor ^w^ man, ^.^ by x3 youw xDD fiwst order died, 
xDD And :3 that :3 a >_> winged :33 Mewcuwy uWu did bear; 
;;w;; Some ÚwÚ tawdy ;;w;; cwippwe OwO bawe x3 the countewmand 
:33 That ^-^ came ^w^ too lag to >_> see ^.^ him buried. 
^w^ God gwant :3 that some, less x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ and less uWu woyaw, 
^-^ Nyeawew uWu in bwoody thoughts, >w< an nyot uWu in bwood, 
Deserve nyot xDD wowse than wwetched >_> Cwawence ^-^ did, 
xDD And yet OwO go :3 cuwwent from >w< suspicion! 

Entew xDD DEWBY 

;;w;; DEWBY. ^-^ A ÚwÚ boon, x3 my sovereign, fow x3 my OwO sewvice uWu donye! 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, :3 peace; x3 my :3 souw >_> is full of ;;w;; sowwow. 
;;w;; DEWBY. UwU I Will nyot rise ^w^ unwess x3 youw >_> Highnyess hear x3 me. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. UwU Then >_> say uWu at >_> once >_> what >_> is >w< it xDD thou requests. 
;;w;; DEWBY. uWu The ;;w;; fowfeit, sovereign, of x3 my servant's :33 wife; 
Who >_< swew ^w^ to-day :3 a riotous ÚwÚ gentweman 
:33 Watewy x3 attendant on x3 the >w< Duke of x3 Nyowfowk. 
;;w;; KING >_> EDWAWD. :3 Have UwU I :3 a >_> tongue to >_< doom x3 my brother's UwU death, 
xDD And UwU shaww :3 that >_> tongue UwU give UwU pawdon to :3 a slave? 
OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ kiwwed nyo UwU man-his ;;w;; fauwt UwU was ^-^ thought, 
xDD And yet :33 his UwU punyishment UwU was UwU bittew death. 
Who >_< sued to ;;w;; me fow him? UwU Who, uWu in x3 my :33 wwath, 
>_> Knyeew'd uWu at x3 my ^.^ feet, ÚwÚ and bid ;;w;; me be :33 advis'd? 
Who ^-^ spoke of bwothewhood? Who ^-^ spoke of love? 
Who told ;;w;; me >w< how x3 the poor :3 souw uWu did ^w^ fowsake 
uWu The ^-^ mighty Wawwick ÚwÚ and uWu did >w< fight fow me? 
Who told uWu me, uWu in x3 the field uWu at Tewksbury 
x3 When Oxford xDD had ;;w;; me ;;w;; down, ^.^ he rescued ;;w;; me 
xDD And uWu said ÚwÚ 'Deaw UwU Bwothew, x3 wive, ÚwÚ and be :3 a >_< king'? 
Who told uWu me, when ^.^ we both uWu way uWu in x3 the field 
Frozen almost to UwU death, >w< how ^.^ he uWu did wap ;;w;; me 
Even uWu in :33 his garments, ÚwÚ and uWu did UwU give himsewf, 
All >_< thin ÚwÚ and nyaked, to x3 the ^w^ nyumb UwU cowd night? 
All ÚwÚ this from x3 my wemembwance ÚwÚ bwutish >_> wwath 
xDD Sinfuwwy x3 pwuck'd, ÚwÚ and nyot :3 a x3 man of xDD you 
xDD Had UwU so much race to put >w< it uWu in x3 my :33 mind. 
OwO But when x3 youw cawtews ow x3 youw waiting-vassals 
:3 Have donye :3 a ^w^ dwunken >_> swaughtew ÚwÚ and defac'd 
uWu The >_< pwecious x3 image of UwU ouw uWu deaw Redeemer, 
>_> You ^w^ stwaight OwO awe on x3 youw knees fow pardon, ;;w;; pawdon; 
xDD And I, ÚwÚ unjustwy :3 too, ^w^ must gwant >w< it OwO you. ÚwÚ [DEWBY :33 wises] 
OwO But fow x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew nyot :3 a x3 man ^.^ wouwd speak; 
x3 Nyow I, UwU ungwacious, speak >w< unto mysewf 
For :3 him, poor ^-^ souw. uWu The OwO pwoudest of xDD you aww 
:3 Have :33 been beholding to ^.^ him uWu in :33 his :33 wife; 
ÚwÚ Yet >_< nyonye of xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_> once ÚwÚ beg fow :33 his life. 
x3 O :33 God, UwU I feaw >w< thy justice xDD wiww OwO take howd 
On uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU you, ÚwÚ and >_> minye, ÚwÚ and >_< youws, fow x3 this! 
^.^ Come, >w< Hastings, OwO hewp ;;w;; me to x3 my >_> cwoset. xDD Ah, poor Clarence! 
Exeunt x3 some with ;;w;; KING ÚwÚ and >w< QUEEN 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. This >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ fwuits of xDD washnyess. >_< Mawk'd xDD you nyot 
How :3 that x3 the guiwty >w< kindwed of x3 the xDD Queen 
Wook'd pawe when ;;w;; they uWu did hear of x3 Cwawence' UwU death? 
>_< O, ;;w;; they uWu did urge >w< it still >w< unto x3 the King! 
^w^ God xDD wiww xDD wevenge :3 it. ^.^ Come, wowds, xDD wiww xDD you OwO go 
;;w;; To uWu comfowt Edward with UwU ouw :3 company? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. We wait ;;w;; upon x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; owd DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF YORK, with x3 the ^.^ SON ÚwÚ and DAUGHTEW of >_> CWAWENCE 

>_> SON. ^-^ Good ^.^ gwandam, tell us, >_> is UwU ouw >w< fathew dead? 
DUCHESS. :3 Nyo, uWu boy. 
DAUGHTEW. Why UwU do xDD you xDD weep UwU so :3 oft, ÚwÚ and xDD beat x3 youw UwU bweast, 
xDD And cwy ^w^ 'O >w< Cwawence, x3 my xDD unhappy ÚwÚ son!'? 
>_> SON. Why UwU do xDD you wook on us, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; shake x3 youw head, 
xDD And caww >_> us orphans, uWu wwetches, ^-^ castaways, 
;;w;; If :3 that UwU ouw x3 nyobwe >w< fathew :3 wewe ^.^ awive? 
DUCHESS. OwO My OwO pwetty >w< cousins, xDD you ÚwÚ mistake ;;w;; me both; 
UwU I UwU do wament x3 the sicknyess of x3 the OwO King, 
;;w;; As loath to wose :3 him, nyot x3 youw father's ÚwÚ death; 
^.^ It :3 wewe wost sorrow to waiw one ^w^ that's :3 wost. 
>_> SON. UwU Then xDD you ^w^ concwude, x3 my ^.^ gwandam, ^.^ he >_> is uWu dead. 
uWu The ^w^ King >_< minye :33 uncwe >_> is to uWu bwame fow :3 it. 
^w^ God xDD wiww xDD wevenge uWu it; ÚwÚ whom UwU I xDD wiww :33 impowtunye 
With xDD eawnyest >_< pwayews aww to :3 that x3 effect. 
DAUGHTEW. xDD And UwU so xDD wiww ^.^ I. 
DUCHESS. uWu Peace, chiwdwen, peace! uWu The ^w^ King xDD doth wuv xDD you 
well. 
>_> Incapabwe ÚwÚ and shallow >w< innyocents, 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot guess who OwO caus'd x3 youw father's death. 
>_> SON. Grandam, ^.^ we can; fow x3 my ÚwÚ good :33 uncwe uWu Gwoucestew 
Towd ;;w;; me x3 the OwO King, ^.^ pwovok'd to >w< it ^.^ by x3 the :3 Queen, 
^-^ Devis'd impeachments to ;;w;; impwison ^.^ him. 
xDD And when x3 my :33 uncwe told ;;w;; me >_> so, ^.^ he ;;w;; wept, 
xDD And uWu pitied uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^-^ kindwy >w< kiss'd x3 my OwO cheek; 
^-^ Bade ;;w;; me >_< wewy on ^.^ him >_< as on x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
xDD And ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd wuv ;;w;; me ÚwÚ deawwy >_< as :3 a :33 chiwd. 
DUCHESS. xDD Ah, :3 that ;;w;; deceit >_> shouwd ^.^ steaw xDD such ^-^ gentwe UwU shape, 
xDD And with :3 a virtuous vizow hide >_> deep vice! 
>w< He >_> is x3 my son; :33 ay, ÚwÚ and thewein x3 my OwO shame; 
ÚwÚ Yet from x3 my ;;w;; dugs ^.^ he >w< dwew nyot ÚwÚ this ^.^ deceit. 
>_> SON. ^w^ Think xDD you x3 my :33 uncwe uWu did ÚwÚ dissembwe, grandam? 
DUCHESS. Ay, uWu boy. 
>_> SON. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot think :3 it. :33 Hawk! >_> what noise >_> is :3 this? 

Entew >w< QUEEN ELIZABETH, with her >_< haiw about her 
ears; :33 WIVEWS ÚwÚ and DORSET ÚwÚ aftew her 

>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. xDD Ah, who UwU shaww ^w^ hindew ;;w;; me to waiw ÚwÚ and 
>_> weep, 
;;w;; To UwU chide x3 my fowtunye, ÚwÚ and x3 towment myself? 
I'll ^w^ join with black despair OwO against x3 my :3 souw 
xDD And to mysewf :33 become >w< an enemy. 
DUCHESS. >_> What means ÚwÚ this scene of wude ^.^ impatience? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ;;w;; To >_< make >w< an ;;w;; act of tragic violence. 
EDWARD, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< thy x3 son, UwU ouw OwO king, >_> is uWu dead. 
Why gwow x3 the ^-^ bwanches when x3 the ^.^ woot >_> is gone? 
Why uWu withew nyot x3 the >w< weaves :3 that ^.^ want uWu theiw :3 sap? 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww x3 wive, lament; >_> if >_> die, be ^-^ bwief, 
:33 That UwU ouw uWu swift-winged >w< souws OwO may catch x3 the :33 King's, 
:33 Ow ^.^ wike obedient subjects ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him 
;;w;; To :33 his x3 nyew ^w^ kingdom of nye'ew-changing OwO nyight. 
DUCHESS. xDD Ah, UwU so much ÚwÚ intewest uWu have UwU I uWu in >w< thy sorrow 
;;w;; As UwU I xDD had ;;w;; titwe uWu in >w< thy x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ husband! 
UwU I uWu have ^w^ bewept :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy husband's UwU death, 
xDD And liv'd with ^w^ wooking on :33 his images; 
OwO But nyow >w< two :3 miwwows of :33 his princely ÚwÚ sembwance 
^w^ Awe >_< cwack'd uWu in uWu pieces ^.^ by malignant UwU death, 
xDD And UwU I fow uWu comfowt uWu have >_> but one UwU fawse gwass, 
:33 That grieves ;;w;; me when UwU I >_> see x3 my ^-^ shame uWu in ^.^ him. 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a uWu widow, yet xDD thou awt :3 a mothew 
xDD And x3 hast x3 the uWu comfowt of >w< thy x3 chiwdwen :33 weft; 
OwO But :33 death hath ^-^ snyatch'd x3 my :33 husband from >_< minye :3 awms 
xDD And ^w^ pwuck'd >w< two ^.^ cwutches from x3 my feebwe ^-^ hands- 
>_> Cwawence ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Edwawd. >_< O, >_> what cause uWu have uWu I- 
OwO Thinye ^.^ being >_> but :3 a >_> moiety of x3 my ^w^ moan- 
;;w;; To UwU uvwgo >w< thy :3 woes ÚwÚ and x3 dwown >w< thy cries? 
>_> SON. xDD Ah, uWu aunt, xDD you :33 wept nyot fow UwU ouw father's ;;w;; death! 
How ^.^ can ^.^ we >_> aid xDD you with UwU ouw >w< kindwed teaws? 
DAUGHTEW. Our :33 fathewwess distress UwU was left ^-^ unmoan'd; 
uWu Youw xDD widow-dowouw >_< wikewise be OwO unwept! 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Give ;;w;; me nyo OwO hewp uWu in wamentation; 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot ^-^ bawwen to ;;w;; bwing fowth ^-^ compwaints. 
All springs :3 weduce uWu theiw ^.^ cuwwents to >_< minye eyes 
:33 That I, ^.^ being guvwn'd ^.^ by x3 the :3 watewy ;;w;; moon, 
^-^ May >_> send fowth ^w^ pwenteous tears to x3 dwown x3 the ;;w;; wowwd! 
Ah fow x3 my ^.^ husband, fow x3 my uWu deaw Lord uWu Edwawd! 
uWu CHIWDWEN. Ah fow UwU ouw ÚwÚ fathew, fow UwU ouw uWu deaw Lord Clarence! 
DUCHESS. Awas fow xDD both, both >_> minye, Edward ÚwÚ and Clarence! 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_> What xDD stay xDD had UwU I >_> but Edwawd? ÚwÚ and uWu he's 
;;w;; gonye. 
uWu CHIWDWEN. >_> What xDD stay xDD had ^.^ we >_> but x3 Cwawence? ÚwÚ and uWu he's ;;w;; gonye. 
DUCHESS. >_> What uWu stays xDD had UwU I >_> but >w< they? ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; gonye. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Was >_< nyevew ^.^ widow xDD had UwU so uWu deaw :3 a loss. 
uWu CHIWDWEN. ^.^ Wewe >_< nyevew owphans xDD had UwU so uWu deaw :3 a loss. 
DUCHESS. Was >_< nyevew mothew xDD had UwU so uWu deaw :3 a loss. 
ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I ^w^ am x3 the mothew of these :33 gwiefs! 
^-^ Theiw :3 woes OwO awe xDD pawceww'd, >_< minye >_> is genyewaw. 
:33 She fow >w< an Edward uWu weeps, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU do ^.^ I: 
UwU I fow :3 a >_> Cwawence >_> weep, UwU so xDD doth nyot ^w^ she. 
;;w;; These babes fow >_> Cwawence >_> weep, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU do ^.^ I: 
UwU I fow >w< an Edward >_> weep, UwU so UwU do nyot OwO they. 
ÚwÚ Awas, xDD you >w< thwee on uWu me, >_> thweefowd >_< distwess'd, 
Pour aww x3 youw :3 teaws! UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw ^.^ sowwow's xDD nyuwse, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww pamper >w< it with wamentation. 
OwO DOWSET. :3 Comfowt, uWu deaw x3 mothew. ^w^ God >_> is much xDD dispweas'd 
:33 That xDD you OwO take with unthankfulness :33 his doing. 
^w^ In ^w^ common ^-^ wowwdwy ^.^ things UwU 'tis ^w^ cawwed uWu ungwatefuw 
With dull unwillingness to wepay :3 a >_> debt 
>_< Which with :3 a ^.^ bounteous uWu hand UwU was ^-^ kindwy lent; 
Much ^.^ mowe to be OwO thus opposite with ^.^ heaven, 
For >w< it uWu wequiwes x3 the royal >_> debt >w< it OwO went OwO you. 
^.^ WIVEWS. uWu Madam, ^.^ bethink UwU you, ^.^ wike :3 a careful :33 mothew, 
Of x3 the xDD young >_> pwince x3 youw OwO son. >_< Send ^w^ stwaight fow him; 
Let ^.^ him be >_> cwown'd; uWu in ^.^ him x3 youw uWu comfowt ^.^ wives. 
:33 Dwown despewate sorrow uWu in >_< dead >_< Edwawd's ^-^ gwave, 
xDD And plant x3 youw joys uWu in UwU wiving >_< Edwawd's thwonye. 

Entew ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, xDD BUCKINGHAM, x3 DEWBY, 
HASTINGS, ÚwÚ and WATCWIFF 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 Sistew, uWu have UwU comfowt. All of >_> us uWu have cause 
;;w;; To waiw x3 the :33 dimming of UwU ouw >_< shinying star; 
OwO But >_< nyonye ^.^ can OwO hewp UwU ouw :33 hawms ^.^ by x3 waiwing OwO them. 
uWu Madam, x3 my :33 mothew, UwU I UwU do cwy xDD you ÚwÚ mewcy; 
UwU I uWu did nyot >_> see x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. >_> Humbwy on x3 my knyee 
UwU I ^w^ cwave x3 youw blessing. 
DUCHESS. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and put :33 meeknyess uWu in >w< thy UwU bweast, 
Wuv, chawity, xDD obedience, ÚwÚ and true duty! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 Amen! :3 [Aside] xDD And >_< make ;;w;; me ^-^ die :3 a ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd 
;;w;; man! 
:33 That >_> is x3 the :3 butt >w< end of :3 a ;;w;; mothew's ;;w;; bwessing; 
UwU I :3 mawvew :3 that her Gwace uWu did OwO weave >w< it OwO out. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> You cwoudy pwinces ÚwÚ and >w< heawt-sowwowing 
^-^ peews, 
:33 That UwU beaw ÚwÚ this x3 heavy ^-^ mutuaw woad of >w< moan, 
Now cheer >_< each othew uWu in >_< each ;;w;; othew's love. 
;;w;; Though ^.^ we uWu have xDD spent UwU ouw harvest of ÚwÚ this OwO king, 
We OwO awe to reap x3 the harvest of :33 his OwO son. 
uWu The xDD bwoken rancour of x3 youw high-swow'n hearts, 
OwO But :3 watewy OwO spwintew'd, >_< knyit, ÚwÚ and OwO join'd together, 
:3 Must gently be preserv'd, :33 chewish'd, ÚwÚ and OwO kept. 
x3 Me seemeth ÚwÚ good :3 that, with x3 some xDD wittwe twain, 
Fowthwith from xDD Wudwow x3 the xDD young >_> pwince be >w< fet 
Hither to Wondon, to be cwown'd UwU ouw ;;w;; King. 

^.^ WIVEWS. Why with x3 some xDD wittwe twain, x3 my Lord of 
Buckingham? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO Mawwy, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD west ^.^ by :3 a ^.^ muwtitude 
uWu The nyew-heaw'd ;;w;; wound of malice >_> shouwd bweak ^.^ out, 
>_< Which ^.^ wouwd be UwU so much x3 the ^.^ mowe uWu dangewous 
^-^ By >w< how much x3 the estate >_> is green ÚwÚ and yet ungovern'd; 
Whewe every UwU howse bears :33 his uWu commanding wein 
xDD And OwO may direct :33 his course >_< as uWu pwease himsewf, 
;;w;; As weww x3 the feaw of x3 hawm >_< as x3 hawm apparent, 
^w^ In x3 my :33 opinyion, ought to be pwevented. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I UwU hope x3 the ^w^ King UwU made uWu peace with aww of us; 
xDD And x3 the compact >_> is >w< fiwm ÚwÚ and true uWu in x3 me. 
^.^ WIVEWS. xDD And UwU so uWu in OwO me; ÚwÚ and >_> so, UwU I >_< think, uWu in >w< an. 
Yet, xDD since >w< it >_> is >_> but xDD gween, >w< it >_> shouwd be put 
;;w;; To nyo apparent likelihood of OwO bweach, 
>_< Which haply ^.^ by much >_< company ^w^ might be >_> uwg'd; 
Therefore UwU I >_> say with x3 nyobwe ^-^ Buckingham 
:33 That >w< it >_> is :3 meet UwU so x3 few >_> shouwd :3 fetch x3 the UwU Pwince. 
>_> HASTINGS. xDD And UwU so >_> say ^.^ I. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Then be >w< it so; ÚwÚ and OwO go ^.^ we to determine 
Who ;;w;; they UwU shaww be :3 that ^w^ stwaight UwU shaww x3 post to Wudwow. 
uWu Madam, ÚwÚ and UwU you, x3 my ^-^ sistew, xDD wiww xDD you OwO go 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 youw ^w^ censuwes uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; businyess? 
Exeunt aww >_> but BUCKINGHAM ÚwÚ and GWOUCESTEW 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My uWu wowd, ;;w;; whoevew jouwnyeys to x3 the >_< Pwince, 
For ^w^ God ^w^ sake, wet nyot >_> us >w< two xDD stay uWu at ÚwÚ home; 
For ^.^ by x3 the uWu way I'll ;;w;; sowt ^w^ occasion, 
;;w;; As >_< index to x3 the ^-^ stowy ^.^ we wate ^w^ tawk'd :33 of, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ pawt x3 the Queen's OwO pwoud >w< kindwed from x3 the UwU Pwince. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My othew ;;w;; sewf, x3 my counsel's ^.^ consistowy, 
OwO My owacwe, x3 my UwU pwophet, x3 my uWu deaw OwO cousin, 
I, >_< as :3 a child, xDD wiww OwO go ^.^ by >w< thy diwection. 
uWu Towawd xDD Wudwow >w< then, fow we'll nyot xDD stay behind. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

OwO Wondon. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew one :3 CITIZEN uWu at one door, ÚwÚ and anyothew uWu at x3 the othew 

uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ Good morrow, UwU nyeighbouw. x3 Whithew OwO away UwU so 
fast? 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. UwU I promise UwU you, UwU I uWu scawcewy ^.^ knyow :3 mysewf. 
>w< Heaw xDD you x3 the nyews abroad? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Yes, :3 that x3 the ^w^ King >_> is uWu dead. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. >_< Iww news, :33 by'w ;;w;; wady; seldom x3 comes x3 the 
^-^ bettew. 
UwU I ;;w;; feaw, UwU I feaw 'twill ^-^ pwuv :3 a ^-^ giddy wowwd. 

Entew anyothew :3 CITIZEN 

^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. Neighbours, ^w^ God uWu speed! 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Give xDD you ÚwÚ good morrow, sir. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ Doth x3 the nyews howd of ÚwÚ good ^w^ King >_< Edwawd's 
UwU death? 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. Ay, ^w^ siw, >w< it >_> is ^w^ too true; ^w^ God OwO hewp x3 the whiwe! 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. Then, mastews, wook to >_> see :3 a x3 twoubwous 
wowwd. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. :3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; ^.^ by >_> God's ÚwÚ good gwace, :33 his >_< son UwU shaww 
reign. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. ;;w;; Woe to :3 that ÚwÚ wand ^w^ that's guvwn'd ^.^ by :3 a :33 chiwd. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^w^ In ^.^ him there >_> is :3 a UwU hope of guvwnment, 
>_< Which, uWu in :33 his nonage, council :33 undew :3 him, 
^.^ And, uWu in :33 his full ÚwÚ and >w< wipenyed years, himsewf, 
No doubt, UwU shaww >w< then, ÚwÚ and >w< tiww >w< then, >_< guvwn well. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^w^ So :33 stood x3 the >w< state when Henwy x3 the Sixth 
Was cwown'd uWu in Paris >_> but uWu at >w< nyinye ^w^ months ^-^ owd. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^w^ Stood x3 the >w< state so? :3 Nyo, no, ÚwÚ good OwO fwiends, 
^w^ God wot; 
For xDD then ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand UwU was famously ^-^ enwich'd 
With ;;w;; powitic :3 gwave counsew; xDD then x3 the ^w^ King 
xDD Had virtuous uncles to x3 pwotect :33 his ^-^ Gwace. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. Why, UwU so hath uWu this, both ^.^ by :33 his >w< fathew ÚwÚ and 
x3 mothew. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. uWu Bettew >w< it :3 wewe ;;w;; they aww ^-^ came ^.^ by :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, 
:33 Ow ^.^ by :33 his >w< fathew there :3 wewe >_< nyonye uWu at aww; 
For ;;w;; emuwation who UwU shaww nyow be ÚwÚ nyeawest 
Will :33 touch >_> us aww ^w^ too near, >_> if ^w^ God ^w^ pwevent not. 
>_< O, full of danger >_> is x3 the >w< Duke of :33 Gwoucestew! 
xDD And x3 the Queen's xDD sons ÚwÚ and bwothews ^-^ haught ÚwÚ and ^.^ pwoud; 
xDD And :3 wewe ;;w;; they to be >w< wuw'd, ÚwÚ and nyot to rule, 
This >_> sickwy ÚwÚ wand ^w^ might sowace >_< as befowe. 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^.^ Come, come, ^.^ we feaw x3 the wowst; aww xDD wiww be 
well. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. x3 When :33 cwouds OwO awe uWu seen, uWu wise ;;w;; men put on 
uWu theiw cwoaks; 
x3 When great >w< weaves ^.^ faww, xDD then winter >_> is uWu at xDD hand; 
x3 When x3 the sun sets, who xDD doth nyot wook fow night? 
>_< Untimewy storms >_< make ;;w;; men >_< expect :3 a >_< deawth. 
All OwO may be well; but, >_> if ^w^ God ;;w;; sowt >w< it >_> so, 
'Tis ^.^ mowe than ^.^ we OwO desewve ow UwU I ^.^ expect. 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^-^ Twuwy, x3 the heawts of ;;w;; men OwO awe xDD fun of ;;w;; feaw. 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot reason almost with :3 a x3 man 
:33 That :33 wooks nyot >_> heaviwy ÚwÚ and xDD fun of dwead. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. ^.^ Befowe x3 the OwO days of >_< change, still >_> is >w< it so; 
^-^ By :3 a divine >w< instinct men's minds xDD mistwust 
ÚwÚ Ensuing xDD dangew; >_< as ^.^ by xDD pwoof ^.^ we >_> see 
uWu The UwU watew sweww >w< befowe :3 a UwU boist'wous storm. 
OwO But OwO weave >w< it aww to >_< God. x3 Whithew ÚwÚ away? 
^w^ SECOND ;;w;; CITIZEN. OwO Mawwy, ^.^ we :3 wewe sent fow to x3 the x3 justices. 
^w^ THIWD ;;w;; CITIZEN. xDD And UwU so UwU was x3 I; I'll UwU beaw xDD you UwU company. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the ARCHBISHOP ÚwÚ OF YORK, x3 the xDD young ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF YORK, >w< QUEEN ELIZABETH, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF YORK 

>_< AWCHBISHOP. UwU Wast night, UwU I heaw, ;;w;; they uWu way uWu at Stony ^-^ Stwatfowd, 
xDD And uWu at :33 Nyowthampton ;;w;; they UwU do xDD west to-nyight; 
>_< To-mowwow ow :3 nyext day ;;w;; they xDD wiww be hewe. 
DUCHESS. UwU I ^-^ wong with aww x3 my >_< heawt to >_> see x3 the UwU Pwince. 
UwU I UwU hope ^.^ he >_> is much grown xDD since >w< wast UwU I saw ^.^ him. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. OwO But UwU I hear ^.^ nyo; ;;w;; they >_> say x3 my >_< son of York 
x3 Has almost overta'en ^.^ him uWu in :33 his ^-^ gwowth. 
:3 YOWK. Ay, mothew; >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have >w< it :3 so. 
DUCHESS. Why, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO cousin, >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ good to ^w^ gwow. 
:3 YOWK. Grandam, one >w< nyight >_< as ^.^ we uWu did sit uWu at :3 suppew, 
OwO My :33 uncwe x3 Wivews ^w^ tawk'd >w< how UwU I uWu did gwow 
uWu Mowe than x3 my ^-^ bwothew. UwU 'Ay,' quoth x3 my :33 uncwe uWu Gwoucestew 
^.^ 'Smaww >w< hewbs uWu have >w< gwace: great UwU weeds UwU do gwow apace.' 
xDD And since, UwU methinks, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot gwow UwU so OwO fast, 
>_< Because x3 sweet flow'rs OwO awe slow ÚwÚ and UwU weeds >_< make ^.^ haste. 
DUCHESS. ^-^ Good ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, x3 the :3 saying uWu did nyot howd 
^w^ In ^.^ him :3 that uWu did :33 object x3 the same to thee. 
>w< He UwU was x3 the wwetched'st ^.^ thing when ^.^ he UwU was >_> young, 
^w^ So ^-^ wong >w< a-gwowing ÚwÚ and UwU so leisurely 
^.^ That, >_> if :33 his UwU wuwe :3 wewe ^-^ twue, ^.^ he >_> shouwd be gracious. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. xDD And UwU so nyo doubt ^.^ he ;;w;; is, x3 my >_> gwacious UwU madam. 
DUCHESS. UwU I UwU hope ^.^ he is; >_> but yet wet mothews ^-^ doubt. 
:3 YOWK. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my troth, >_> if UwU I xDD had :33 been rememb'red, 
UwU I couwd uWu have UwU given x3 my ^-^ uncwe's Gwace :3 a fwout 
;;w;; To :33 touch :33 his gwowth nyeawew than ^.^ he touch'd ^w^ minye. 
DUCHESS. How, x3 my xDD young York? UwU I :33 pwithee wet ;;w;; me hear :3 it. 
:3 YOWK. OwO Mawwy, ;;w;; they >_> say x3 my :33 uncwe ^-^ gwew UwU so ÚwÚ fast 
:33 That ^.^ he couwd gnaw :3 a crust uWu at >w< two >_> houws ^-^ owd. 
>_< 'Twas full >w< two years ere UwU I couwd get :3 a xDD tooth. 
Grandam, ÚwÚ this ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 been :3 a OwO biting ;;w;; jest. 
DUCHESS. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, OwO pwetty York, who told uWu thee :3 this? 
:3 YOWK. Grandam, :33 his nurse. 
DUCHESS. ÚwÚ His >_< nyuwse! Why ^.^ she UwU was >_< dead ere xDD thou >w< wast 
born. 
:3 YOWK. ;;w;; If >w< 'twewe nyot uWu she, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell who told x3 me. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^-^ A ÚwÚ pawwous ^.^ boy! Go ^.^ to, xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too 
^w^ shwewd. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. ^-^ Good UwU madam, be nyot angry with x3 the :33 chiwd. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^w^ Pitchews uWu have ears. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

>_< AWCHBISHOP. :3 Hewe x3 comes :3 a :3 messengew. >_> What nyews? 
x3 MESSENGEW. >w< Such news, x3 my uWu wowd, >_< as grieves ;;w;; me to report. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. How xDD doth x3 the Prince? 
x3 MESSENGEW. xDD Weww, UwU madam, ÚwÚ and uWu in ^-^ heawth. 
DUCHESS. >_> What >_> is >w< thy nyews? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Lord x3 Wivews ÚwÚ and Lord Grey 
^w^ Awe sent to :3 Pomfwet, ÚwÚ and with them 
Sir Thomas ^-^ Vaughan, pwisonyews. 
DUCHESS. Who hath >_> committed them? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The ^-^ mighty ^w^ Dukes, uWu Gwoucestew ÚwÚ and ^w^ Buckingham. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. For >_> what x3 offence? 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The >w< sum of aww UwU I ^-^ can, UwU I uWu have >_> discwos'd. 
Why ow fow >_> what x3 the nyobwes :3 wewe >_> committed 
Is aww unknown to uWu me, x3 my >_> gwacious OwO wowd. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. uWu Ay uWu me, UwU I >_> see x3 the xDD wuin of x3 my house! 
uWu The tiger nyow hath :3 seiz'd x3 the ^-^ gentwe hind; 
Insulting uWu tywanny ÚwÚ begins to jet 
>_> Upon x3 the innocent ÚwÚ and awewess thwonye. 
Welcome, OwO destwuction, bwood, ÚwÚ and uWu massacwe! 
UwU I see, >_< as uWu in :3 a ^w^ map, x3 the >w< end of all. 
DUCHESS. >w< Accuwsed ÚwÚ and unquiet :3 wwangwing uWu days, 
How UwU many of xDD you uWu have >_< minye eyes behewd! 
OwO My :33 husband wost :33 his >w< wife to get x3 the >_< cwown; 
xDD And often x3 up ÚwÚ and down x3 my xDD sons :3 wewe :3 toss'd 
For ;;w;; me to joy ÚwÚ and xDD weep uWu theiw ^.^ gain ÚwÚ and loss; 
xDD And ^.^ being ^.^ seated, ÚwÚ and domestic ^-^ bwoiws 
Cwean ;;w;; uvw-bwown, x3 themsewves x3 the ÚwÚ conquewows 
^-^ Make >w< waw ;;w;; upon >w< themsewves-bwothew to brother, 
Blood to bwood, self OwO against sewf. >_< O, ÚwÚ pwepostewous 
xDD And frantic outrage, >w< end >w< thy uWu damnyed >w< spween, 
:33 Ow wet ;;w;; me >_> die, to wook on :33 death nyo uWu mowe! 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^.^ Come, come, x3 my ^.^ boy; ^.^ we xDD wiww to 
^.^ sanctuawy. 
uWu Madam, farewell. 
DUCHESS. Stay, UwU I xDD wiww OwO go with OwO you. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_> You uWu have nyo OwO cause. 
>_< AWCHBISHOP. :33 [To x3 the xDD QUEEN] OwO My >_> gwacious UwU wady, ÚwÚ go. 
xDD And uWu thithew UwU beaw x3 youw treasure ÚwÚ and x3 youw :33 goods. 
For x3 my >_> pawt, I'll resign >w< unto x3 youw Gwace 
uWu The UwU seaw UwU I UwU keep; ÚwÚ and UwU so uWu betide to ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As weww UwU I xDD tendew xDD you ÚwÚ and aww of >w< youws! 
^w^ Go, I'll ÚwÚ conduct xDD you to x3 the ^.^ sanctuawy. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
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SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

OwO Wondon. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

uWu The trumpets UwU sound. Entew x3 the PWINCE ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ WAWES, ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, xDD BUCKINGHAM, 
uWu CATESBY, x3 CAWDINyAW uWu BOUWCHIEW, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

OwO BUCKINGHAM. Welcome, x3 sweet >_< Pwince, to Wondon, to x3 youw 
^.^ chambew. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Welcome, uWu deaw OwO cousin, x3 my ^-^ thoughts' OwO suvweign. 
uWu The ÚwÚ weawy uWu way hath UwU made xDD you :3 mewanchowy. 
>w< PWINCE. :3 Nyo, >_> uncwe; >_> but UwU ouw cwosses on x3 the uWu way 
:3 Have UwU made >w< it ^w^ tedious, x3 weawisome, ÚwÚ and heavy. 
UwU I ^.^ want ^.^ mowe uncles OwO hewe to wewcome x3 me. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ÚwÚ Sweet >_< Pwince, x3 the ÚwÚ untainted viwtue of x3 youw 
years 
>_< Hath nyot yet div'd x3 into x3 the OwO wowwd's ^.^ deceit; 
x3 Nyow ^.^ mowe ^.^ can xDD you distinguish of :3 a x3 man 
Than of :33 his :33 outwawd show; ^w^ which, ^w^ God >w< He ;;w;; knyows, 
Sewdom ow >_< nyevew ^-^ jumpeth with x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 
>w< Those uncles which xDD you ^.^ want :3 wewe dangerous; 
uWu Youw Gwace ^w^ attended to uWu theiw >_> sug'wed wowds 
OwO But >_> wook'd nyot on x3 the x3 poison of uWu theiw >w< heawts. 
^w^ God >_< keep xDD you from them ÚwÚ and from xDD such UwU fawse ÚwÚ fwiends! 
>w< PWINCE. ^w^ God >_< keep ;;w;; me from UwU fawse ÚwÚ fwiends! >_> but ;;w;; they :3 wewe 
none. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 the Mayow of ;;w;; Wondon x3 comes to x3 gweet 
OwO you. 

Entew x3 the >w< WOWD >_< MAYOW ÚwÚ and :33 his twain 

;;w;; MAYOW. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 youw Gwace with ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and ^w^ happy :33 days! 
>w< PWINCE. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and >_> thank xDD you all. 
UwU I xDD thought x3 my mothew ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew York 
Wouwd ^-^ wong ere ÚwÚ this uWu have >w< met >_> us on x3 the >_> way. 
OwO Fie, >_> what :3 a ;;w;; swug >_> is >w< Hastings, :3 that ^.^ he x3 comes nyot 
;;w;; To tell >_> us >w< whethew ;;w;; they xDD wiww come ow no! 

Entew >w< WOWD ÚwÚ HASTINGS 

OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^.^ And, uWu in ÚwÚ good time, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the :3 sweating 
Lord. 
>w< PWINCE. Welcome, x3 my OwO wowd. What, xDD wiww UwU ouw mothew come? 
>_> HASTINGS. On >_> what ^w^ occasion, ^w^ God >w< He ;;w;; knyows, nyot I, 
uWu The xDD Queen x3 youw mothew ÚwÚ and x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew York 
:3 Have :33 taken ^.^ sanctuawy. uWu The xDD tendew Prince 
Wouwd >_> fain uWu have come with ;;w;; me to :3 meet x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
OwO But ^.^ by :33 his mothew UwU was ^.^ pewfowce withheld. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO Fie, >_> what >w< an ^.^ indiwect ÚwÚ and >_> peevish course 
Is ÚwÚ this of UwU hews? Lord Cardinal, xDD wiww x3 youw Gwace 
xDD Pewsuade x3 the xDD Queen to >_> send x3 the >w< Duke of York 
uWu Unto :33 his princely ÚwÚ bwothew ÚwÚ pwesentwy? 
;;w;; If ^.^ she deny, Lord >w< Hastings, OwO go with ^.^ him 
xDD And from her jealous :3 awms pluck ^.^ him perforce. 
CARDINAL. OwO My Lord of ;;w;; Buckingham, >_> if x3 my xDD weak oratory 
UwU Can from :33 his mothew x3 win x3 the >w< Duke of York, 
^-^ Anyon >_< expect ^.^ him ^.^ hewe; >_> but >_> if ^.^ she be ÚwÚ obduwate 
;;w;; To >_< miwd uWu entweaties, ^w^ God uWu in heaven UwU fowbid 
We >_> shouwd infringe x3 the >w< howy OwO pwiviwege 
Of blessed sanctuawy! ÚwÚ Nyot fow aww ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand 
Wouwd UwU I be guiwty of UwU so >_> deep :3 a >_< sin. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too ;;w;; sensewess-obstinyate, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Too cewemonyious ÚwÚ and traditional. 
OwO Weigh >w< it >_> but with x3 the gwossnyess of ÚwÚ this age, 
>_> You bweak nyot sanctuary uWu in :3 seizing ^.^ him. 
uWu The ^-^ benyefit thereof >_> is awways >_> gwanted 
;;w;; To UwU those x3 whose ÚwÚ deawings uWu have OwO desewv'd x3 the :33 pwace 
xDD And UwU those who uWu have x3 the wit to >_< cwaim x3 the ;;w;; pwace. 
This Prince hath :3 nyeithew ^w^ cwaim'd >w< it nor OwO desewv'd :33 it, 
xDD And OwO thewefowe, uWu in >_< minye :33 opinyion, ;;w;; cannyot uWu have :3 it. 
Then, :3 taking ^.^ him from thence :3 that >_> is nyot thewe, 
>_> You bweak nyo OwO pwiviwege nor ÚwÚ chawtew :33 thewe. 
x3 Oft uWu have UwU I heard of sanctuary ÚwÚ men; 
OwO But sanctuary x3 chiwdwen >_< nyevew >w< tiww now. 
CARDINAL. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you UwU shaww o'ewwuwe x3 my ^-^ mind fow OwO once. 
:3 Come ;;w;; on, Lord >w< Hastings, xDD wiww xDD you OwO go with me? 
>_> HASTINGS. UwU I x3 go, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>w< PWINCE. ^-^ Good wowds, >_< make aww x3 the UwU speedy ^.^ haste xDD you may. 
Exeunt x3 CAWDINyAW ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ HASTINGS 
Say, :33 uncwe :33 Gwoucestew, >_> if UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew come, 
Whewe UwU shaww ^.^ we ;;w;; sojouwn >w< tiww UwU ouw ÚwÚ cowonyation? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Whewe >w< it ;;w;; seems best >w< unto x3 youw royal sewf. 
;;w;; If UwU I OwO may counsel UwU you, x3 some day ow >w< two 
uWu Youw >_> Highnyess UwU shaww wepose xDD you uWu at x3 the Towew, 
UwU Then :3 whewe xDD you uWu pwease ÚwÚ and UwU shaww be xDD thought UwU most ;;w;; fit 
For x3 youw best ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and >_> wecweation. 
>w< PWINCE. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike x3 the Towew, of xDD any ;;w;; pwace. 
Did Julius Caesaw buiwd :3 that pwace, x3 my xDD wowd? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >w< He ^-^ did, x3 my >_> gwacious uWu wowd, x3 begin :3 that pwace, 
>_< Which, since, xDD succeeding uWu ages uWu have :3 we-edified. 
>w< PWINCE. Is >w< it ;;w;; upon record, ow >_> ewse OwO wepowted 
Successivewy from age to age, ^.^ he buiwt :33 it? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> Upon record, x3 my >_> gwacious OwO wowd. 
>w< PWINCE. OwO But say, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< it :3 wewe nyot regist'red, 
Methinks x3 the uWu twuth >_> shouwd UwU Eve from age to age, 
;;w;; As >w< 'twewe retail'd to aww postewity, 
Even to x3 the general aww-ending x3 day. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 [Aside] ^w^ So uWu wise UwU so >_> young, ;;w;; they say, UwU do >_< nyevew 
^w^ wive wong. 
>w< PWINCE. >_> What >_> say UwU you, xDD uncwe? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I say, ^-^ without characters, fame ;;w;; wives wong. 
:3 [Aside] Thus, ^.^ wike x3 the formal xDD vice, Inyiquity, 
UwU I :33 mowawize >w< two meanyings uWu in one OwO wowd. 
>w< PWINCE. :33 That Julius Caesaw UwU was :3 a famous xDD man; 
With >_> what :33 his valour uWu did enrich :33 his ^w^ wit, 
ÚwÚ His wit uWu set down to >_< make :33 his valour wive. 
>_> Death x3 makes nyo conquest of ÚwÚ this conqueror; 
For nyow ^.^ he ;;w;; wives uWu in x3 fame, ^w^ though nyot uWu in life. 
I'll tell xDD you x3 what, x3 my xDD cousin Buckingham- 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. What, x3 my >_> gwacious xDD wowd? 
>w< PWINCE. ^-^ An >_> if UwU I ^w^ wive ÚwÚ untiw UwU I be :3 a ^w^ man, 
I'll x3 win UwU ouw UwU ancient >w< wight uWu in Fwance OwO again, 
:33 Ow ^-^ die :3 a soldier >_< as UwU I liv'd :3 a king. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :3 [Aside] Short summers >w< wightwy uWu have :3 a forward 
ÚwÚ spwing. 

Entew HASTINGS, xDD young YORK, ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 CAWDINyAW 

OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> Nyow, uWu in ÚwÚ good time, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the >w< Duke of 
x3 Yowk. 
>w< PWINCE. Richard of York, >w< how fawes UwU ouw >w< woving bwothew? 
:3 YOWK. xDD Weww, x3 my xDD dwead wowd; UwU so ^w^ must UwU I ^.^ can xDD you now. 
>w< PWINCE. uWu Ay brother, to UwU ouw gwief, >_< as >w< it >_> is x3 youws. 
Too wate ^.^ he >w< died :3 that ^w^ might uWu have :33 kept :3 that :3 titwe, 
>_< Which ^.^ by :33 his :33 death hath wost much :33 majesty. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. How fawes UwU ouw OwO cousin, x3 nyobwe Lord of York? 
:3 YOWK. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, ^-^ gentwe uncle. >_< O, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> You uWu said :3 that idle UwU weeds OwO awe ÚwÚ fast uWu in ^-^ gwowth. 
uWu The Prince x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew hath outgwown ;;w;; me far. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >w< He :33 hath, x3 my OwO wowd. 
:3 YOWK. xDD And >_< thewefowe >_> is ^.^ he UwU idwe? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_< O, x3 my >w< faiw OwO cousin, UwU I ^w^ must nyot >_> say :3 so. 
:3 YOWK. UwU Then ^.^ he >_> is ^.^ mowe beholding to xDD you than ^.^ I. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >w< He OwO may ÚwÚ command ;;w;; me >_< as x3 my sovereign; 
OwO But xDD you uWu have powew uWu in ;;w;; me >_< as uWu in :3 a kinsman. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I pray UwU you, uWu uncwe, UwU give ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this >w< daggew. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My x3 daggew, xDD wittwe cousin? With aww x3 my :33 heawt! 
>w< PWINCE. ^-^ A beggar, bwothew? 
:3 YOWK. Of x3 my uWu kind uWu uncwe, :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD wiww give, 
xDD And ^.^ being >_> but :3 a ^-^ toy, which >_> is nyo grief to give. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ A :33 gweatew ^w^ gift than :3 that I'll UwU give x3 my :33 cousin. 
:3 YOWK. ^-^ A :33 gweatew ;;w;; gift! >_< O, ^w^ that's x3 the xDD swowd to :3 it! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Ay, ^-^ gentwe OwO cousin, :3 wewe >w< it >w< wight enyough. 
:3 YOWK. >_< O, >w< then, UwU I >_> see xDD you xDD wiww ÚwÚ pawt >_> but with >w< wight ;;w;; gifts: 
^w^ In weightiew ^.^ things you'ww >_> say :3 a beggar nyay. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too x3 heavy fow x3 youw Gwace to weaw. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I >w< weigh >w< it ÚwÚ wightwy, :3 wewe >w< it heavier. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. What, ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu have x3 my ^w^ weapon, xDD wittwe 
x3 Wowd? 
:3 YOWK. UwU I :3 wouwd, :3 that UwU I ^w^ might >_> thank xDD you >_< as xDD you caww x3 me. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ÚwÚ How? 
:3 YOWK. ÚwÚ Wittwe. 
>w< PWINCE. OwO My Lord of York xDD wiww still be OwO cwoss uWu in ^-^ tawk. 
>_> Uncwe, x3 youw Gwace xDD knyows >w< how to UwU beaw with ^.^ him. 
:3 YOWK. >_> You mean, to UwU beaw uWu me, nyot to UwU beaw with x3 me. 
>_> Uncwe, x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew :3 mocks both xDD you ÚwÚ and OwO me; 
>_< Because :3 that UwU I ^w^ am UwU wittwe, ^.^ wike >w< an >_< ape, 
>w< He ^w^ thinks :3 that xDD you >_> shouwd UwU beaw ;;w;; me on x3 youw shoulders. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. With >_> what :3 a x3 shawp-pwovided wit ^.^ he :33 weasons! 
;;w;; To mitigate x3 the ^w^ scown ^.^ he ;;w;; gives :33 his :33 uncwe 
>w< He pwettiwy ÚwÚ and uWu aptwy uWu taunts himself. 
^w^ So x3 cunnying ÚwÚ and UwU so xDD young >_> is wondewfuw. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My uWu wowd, will't uWu pwease xDD you pass OwO awong? 
xDD Mysewf ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ good xDD cousin ^-^ Buckingham 
Will to x3 youw :33 mothew, to entweat of her 
;;w;; To :3 meet xDD you uWu at x3 the ^-^ Towew ÚwÚ and wewcome OwO you. 
:3 YOWK. What, xDD wiww xDD you OwO go >w< unto x3 the Towew, x3 my xDD wowd? 
>w< PWINCE. OwO My Lord Protector >_< nyeeds xDD wiww uWu have >w< it :3 so. 
:3 YOWK. UwU I UwU shaww nyot :33 sweep uWu in :33 quiet uWu at x3 the Towew. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Why, >_> what >_> shouwd xDD you fear? 
:3 YOWK. OwO Mawwy, x3 my :33 uncwe x3 Cwawence' angry ghost. 
OwO My :3 gwandam told ;;w;; me ^.^ he UwU was ^w^ muwdew'd :33 thewe. 
>w< PWINCE. UwU I feaw nyo uncles uWu dead. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 Nyow >_< nyonye :3 that x3 wive, UwU I ^-^ hope. 
>w< PWINCE. ^-^ An >_> if ;;w;; they x3 wive, UwU I UwU hope UwU I >_< nyeed nyot ;;w;; feaw. 
OwO But come, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ and with :3 a x3 heavy uWu heawt, 
^w^ Thinking on ÚwÚ them, OwO go UwU I >w< unto x3 the Towew. 
^-^ A sennet. 
Exeunt aww >_> but ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, xDD BUCKINGHAM, ÚwÚ and CATESBY 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^w^ Think UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this xDD wittwe ;;w;; pwating York 
Was nyot uWu incensed ^.^ by :33 his >_> subtwe mothew 
;;w;; To :3 taunt ÚwÚ and ^w^ scown xDD you OwO thus ^-^ oppwobwiouswy? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. No doubt, nyo ^-^ doubt. >_< O, UwU 'tis :3 a :33 pewiwous ^.^ boy; 
Bold, quick, ingenious, forward, capable. 
>w< He >_> is aww x3 the mother's, from x3 the ;;w;; top to >_> toe. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. xDD Weww, wet them rest. :3 Come hithew, ^w^ Catesby. 
^.^ Thou awt sworn >_< as deepwy to ^w^ effect >_> what ^.^ we intend 
;;w;; As x3 cwosewy to :33 conceaw >_> what ^.^ we uWu impawt. 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st UwU ouw weasons ;;w;; uwg'd ;;w;; upon x3 the >_> way. 
>_> What think'st thou? Is >w< it nyot >w< an ^w^ easy ;;w;; mattew 
;;w;; To >_< make ;;w;; Wiwwiam Lord >w< Hastings of UwU ouw UwU mind, 
For x3 the ;;w;; instawment of ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe >w< Duke 
^w^ In x3 the uWu seat royal of ÚwÚ this famous >w< iswe? 
UwU CATESBY. >w< He fow :33 his father's ÚwÚ sake UwU so loves x3 the Prince 
:33 That ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot be ^.^ won to ^.^ aught OwO against ^.^ him. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> What think'st xDD thou xDD then of >_< Stanwey? Will 
nyot uWu he? 
UwU CATESBY. >w< He xDD wiww UwU do aww uWu in aww >_< as >w< Hastings UwU doth. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Weww >w< then, nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but :33 this: x3 go, ^-^ gentwe 
:33 Catesby, 
^.^ And, >_< as >w< it :3 wewe uWu faw ^w^ off, >_> sound xDD thou Lord >w< Hastings 
How ^.^ he xDD doth stand affected to UwU ouw ÚwÚ puwpose; 
xDD And ^.^ summon ^.^ him to-mowwow to x3 the Towew, 
;;w;; To sit about x3 the x3 cowonyation. 
;;w;; If xDD thou dost find ^.^ him tractable to us, 
Encouwage :3 him, ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him aww UwU ouw :3 weasons; 
;;w;; If ^.^ he be uWu weaden, ^-^ icy, >_< cowd, unwiwwing, 
^w^ Be xDD thou UwU so :3 too, ÚwÚ and UwU so bweak x3 off x3 the talk, 
xDD And UwU give >_> us ÚwÚ nyotice of :33 his inclination; 
For ^.^ we to-mowwow howd OwO divided >_> counciws, 
^-^ Whewein >w< thysewf shalt ;;w;; highwy be :3 empwoy'd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to Lord William. Teww :3 him, 
:33 Catesby, 
ÚwÚ His UwU ancient >_< knyot of uWu dangewous :33 advewsawies 
>_< To-mowwow OwO awe wet :3 bwood uWu at uWu Pomfwet Castwe; 
xDD And bid x3 my uWu wowd, fow joy of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good news, 
Give Mistress ^-^ Showe one ^-^ gentwe :3 kiss x3 the more. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^-^ Good :33 Catesby, OwO go ^w^ effect ÚwÚ this business soundly. 
UwU CATESBY. OwO My ÚwÚ good wowds xDD both, with aww x3 the :3 heed UwU I ;;w;; can. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Shall ^.^ we hear from UwU you, :33 Catesby, ere ^.^ we ^w^ sweep? 
UwU CATESBY. >_> You UwU shaww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. At >_< Cwosby ;;w;; House, there UwU shaww xDD you find >_> us xDD both. 
uWu Exit CATESBY 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> Nyow, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> what UwU shaww ^.^ we UwU do >_> if ^.^ we 
>_> pewceive 
Lord >w< Hastings xDD wiww nyot yield to UwU ouw :33 compwots? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^.^ Chop x3 off :33 his head-something ^.^ we xDD wiww 
^.^ detewminye. 
^.^ And, wook when UwU I ^w^ am OwO King, >_< cwaim xDD thou of ;;w;; me 
uWu The ÚwÚ eawwdom of Hewefowd ÚwÚ and aww x3 the movables 
:3 Wheweof x3 the ^w^ King x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew UwU was ^.^ possess'd. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. I'll >_< cwaim :3 that promise uWu at x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's >w< hand. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And wook to uWu have >w< it yiewded with aww kindness. 
^.^ Come, wet >_> us UwU sup betimes, :3 that afterwards 
We OwO may digest UwU ouw complots uWu in x3 some fowm. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

^.^ Befowe >w< WOWD :33 HASTING'S ;;w;; house 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW to x3 the doow of ÚwÚ HASTINGS 

x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! ^.^ [Knyocking] 
>_> HASTINGS. :33 [Within] Who knocks? 
x3 MESSENGEW. x3 Onye from x3 the Lord Stanwey. 
>_> HASTINGS. :33 [Within] >_> What :3 is't >_< o'cwock? 
x3 MESSENGEW. >_> Upon x3 the ^w^ stwoke of fouw. 

Entew >w< WOWD ÚwÚ HASTINGS 

>_> HASTINGS. UwU Cannyot x3 my Lord Stanwey :33 sweep these tedious 
x3 nyights? 
x3 MESSENGEW. ^w^ So >w< it >_> appeaws ^.^ by :3 that UwU I uWu have to :3 say. 
^.^ Fiwst, ^.^ he uWu commends ^.^ him to x3 youw x3 nyobwe sewf. 
>_> HASTINGS. >_> What ^w^ then? 
x3 MESSENGEW. UwU Then x3 cewtifies x3 youw OwO wowdship :3 that ÚwÚ this >w< nyight 
>w< He dweamt x3 the boar xDD had wazed x3 off :33 his UwU hewm. 
:33 Besides, ^.^ he ;;w;; says there OwO awe >w< two :3 counciws kept, 
xDD And :3 that OwO may be ;;w;; detewmin'd uWu at x3 the one 
>_< Which OwO may >_< make xDD you ÚwÚ and ^.^ him to rue uWu at x3 th' :3 othew. 
Therefore ^.^ he OwO sends to ^.^ knyow x3 youw :3 wowdship's pleasure- 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww presently OwO take UwU howse with ^.^ him 
xDD And with aww ^w^ speed x3 post with ^.^ him toward x3 the ^.^ nyowth 
;;w;; To UwU shun x3 the danger :3 that :33 his :3 souw divinyes. 
>_> HASTINGS. ^w^ Go, fewwow, x3 go, ^-^ wetuwn >w< unto >w< thy wowd; 
x3 Bid ^.^ him nyot feaw x3 the separated counciw: 
ÚwÚ His honour ÚwÚ and mysewf OwO awe uWu at x3 the one, 
xDD And uWu at x3 the othew >_> is x3 my ÚwÚ good :33 fwiend xDD Catesby; 
Whewe >_< nyothing ^.^ can proceed :3 that x3 toucheth >_> us 
:3 Wheweof UwU I UwU shaww nyot uWu have intelligence. 
Teww ^.^ him :33 his OwO feaws OwO awe ^w^ shawwow, ^-^ without ;;w;; instance; 
xDD And fow :33 his ^-^ dweams, UwU I wonder uWu he's UwU so :33 simpwe 
;;w;; To :33 twust x3 the >w< mock'wy of unquiet >_< swumbews. 
;;w;; To fwy x3 the boar >w< befowe x3 the boar puwsues 
^.^ Wewe to >w< incense x3 the boar to ;;w;; fowwow >_> us 
xDD And >_< make pursuit :3 whewe ^.^ he uWu did >_> mean nyo ^w^ chase. 
^w^ Go, bid >w< thy >_< mastew rise ÚwÚ and come to OwO me; 
xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww both togethew to x3 the Towew, 
UwU Whewe, ^.^ he UwU shaww see, x3 the boar xDD wiww use >_> us >w< kindwy. 
x3 MESSENGEW. I'll x3 go, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him >_> what xDD you :3 say. 
uWu Exit 

Entew CATESBY 

UwU CATESBY. xDD Many ÚwÚ good ^.^ mowwows to x3 my x3 nyobwe ^.^ wowd! 
>_> HASTINGS. ^-^ Good morrow, xDD Catesby; xDD you OwO awe early ;;w;; stiwwing. 
>_> What news, >_> what news, uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU ouw :3 tott'wing ÚwÚ state? 
UwU CATESBY. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a xDD weewing wowwd :33 indeed, x3 my wowd; 
xDD And UwU I ^-^ bewieve xDD wiww >_< nyevew stand ^w^ upwight 
Tiww Richard ^-^ weaw x3 the gawwand of x3 the weawm. 
>_> HASTINGS. How, ^-^ weaw x3 the UwU gawwand! uWu Dost xDD thou >_> mean x3 the 
crown? 
UwU CATESBY. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
>_> HASTINGS. I'll uWu have ÚwÚ this >_< cwown of >_< minye :3 cut from x3 my 
^w^ shouwdews 
^.^ Befowe I'll >_> see x3 the >_< cwown UwU so fouw :33 mispwac'd. 
OwO But ;;w;; canst xDD thou guess :3 that ^.^ he xDD doth aim uWu at :33 it? 
UwU CATESBY. Ay, on x3 my :33 wife; ÚwÚ and hopes to find xDD you forward 
>_> Upon :33 his party fow x3 the ^.^ gain ^.^ theweof; 
xDD And thereupon ^.^ he OwO sends xDD you ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good news, 
:33 That ÚwÚ this same xDD vewy day x3 youw UwU enyemies, 
uWu The >w< kindwed of x3 the :3 Queen, ^w^ must ^-^ die uWu at >w< Pomfwet. 
>_> HASTINGS. >w< Indeed, UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^w^ mouwnyew fow :3 that news, 
>_< Because ;;w;; they uWu have :33 been still x3 my adversaries; 
OwO But :3 that I'll UwU give x3 my uWu voice on >w< Wichawd's x3 side 
;;w;; To ^-^ baw x3 my xDD mastew's :3 heiws uWu in true descent, 
^w^ God xDD knyows UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU do >w< it to x3 the death. 
UwU CATESBY. ^w^ God >_< keep x3 youw OwO wowdship uWu in :3 that >_> gwacious ÚwÚ mind! 
>_> HASTINGS. OwO But UwU I UwU shaww laugh uWu at ÚwÚ this :3 a >_< twewve >_> month hence, 
:33 That ;;w;; they which ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my xDD mastew's hate, 
UwU I ^w^ wive to wook ;;w;; upon uWu theiw ^.^ twagedy. 
xDD Weww, :33 Catesby, ere :3 a fortnight >_< make ;;w;; me older, 
I'll >_> send x3 some :33 packing :3 that yet think nyot ^.^ on't. 
UwU CATESBY. 'Tis :3 a ^-^ viwe ^.^ thing to >_> die, x3 my >_> gwacious uWu wowd, 
x3 When ;;w;; men OwO awe x3 unpwepaw'd ÚwÚ and wook nyot fow :3 it. 
>_> HASTINGS. x3 O monstrous, UwU monstwous! xDD And UwU so ^w^ fawws >w< it x3 out 
With Rivers, ^-^ Vaughan, Grey; ÚwÚ and UwU so 'twill UwU do 
With x3 some ;;w;; men >_> ewse :3 that think x3 themsewves >_< as >_< safe 
;;w;; As xDD thou ÚwÚ and I, who, >_< as xDD thou knowest, OwO awe uWu deaw 
;;w;; To princely Richard ÚwÚ and to ^w^ Buckingham. 
UwU CATESBY. uWu The Princes both >_< make xDD high :33 account of :3 you- 
:3 [Aside] For ;;w;; they :33 account :33 his >_> head ;;w;; upon x3 the uWu bwidge. 
>_> HASTINGS. UwU I ^.^ knyow ;;w;; they UwU do, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have weww OwO desewv'd :3 it. 

Entew >w< WOWD STANLEY 

:3 Come ;;w;; on, come xDD on; :3 whewe >_> is x3 youw :3 boaw-speaw, man? 
Fear xDD you x3 the >_< boaw, ÚwÚ and OwO go UwU so >_> unpwovided? 
STANWEY. OwO My uWu wowd, ÚwÚ good uWu mowwow; ÚwÚ good morrow, ^w^ Catesby. 
>_> You OwO may xDD jest ;;w;; on, but, ^.^ by x3 the >w< howy rood, 
UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike these sevewaw >_> counciws, ^.^ I. 
>_> HASTINGS. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I howd x3 my >w< wife >_< as uWu deaw >_< as >_< youws, 
xDD And >_< nyevew uWu in x3 my uWu days, UwU I UwU do protest, 
Was >w< it UwU so >_< pwecious to ;;w;; me >_< as UwU 'tis now. 
^w^ Think UwU you, >_> but :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU ouw >w< state secure, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd be UwU so x3 twiumphant >_< as UwU I :33 am? 
STANWEY. uWu The wowds uWu at :3 Pomfwet, when ;;w;; they rode from 
Wondon, 
^.^ Wewe OwO jocund ÚwÚ and ^-^ suppos'd uWu theiw UwU states :3 wewe x3 suwe, 
xDD And ;;w;; they ÚwÚ indeed xDD had nyo cause to mistrust; 
OwO But yet xDD you >_> see >w< how >w< soon x3 the day UwU o'ewcast. 
This ^.^ sudden x3 stab of rancour UwU I >w< misdoubt; 
>_> Pway :33 God, UwU I say, UwU I ^-^ pwuv :3 a >_> nyeedwess cowawd. 
What, UwU shaww ^.^ we toward x3 the >_< Towew? uWu The day >_> is :33 spent. 
>_> HASTINGS. ^.^ Come, come, uWu have with OwO you. ;;w;; Wot xDD you x3 what, x3 my 
x3 Wowd? 
OwO To-day x3 the wowds xDD you ^w^ tawk'd of OwO awe x3 beheaded. 
STANWEY. >_> They, fow uWu theiw truth, ^w^ might xDD bettew ^-^ weaw uWu theiw 
heads 
Than x3 some :3 that uWu have ^-^ accus'd them ^-^ weaw uWu theiw hats. 
OwO But come, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> wet's xDD away. 

Entew HASTINGS, :3 a pursuivant 

>_> HASTINGS. Go on befowe; I'll tawk with ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good UwU fewwow. 
Exeunt STANLEY ÚwÚ and CATESBY 
How now, ^-^ Hastings! How xDD goes x3 the wowwd with thee? 
PUWSUIVANT. uWu The xDD bettew :3 that x3 youw OwO wowdship uWu pwease to xDD ask. 
>_> HASTINGS. UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ man, UwU 'tis xDD bettew with ;;w;; me nyow 
Than when xDD thou met'st ;;w;; me >w< wast :3 whewe nyow ^.^ we >_> meet: 
UwU Then UwU was UwU I x3 going ÚwÚ pwisonyew to x3 the ^-^ Towew 
^-^ By x3 the ^w^ suggestion of x3 the Queen's >_< awwies; 
OwO But now, UwU I tell thee-keep >w< it to thysewf- 
This day UwU those UwU enyewnyies OwO awe put to UwU death, 
xDD And UwU I uWu in xDD bettew >w< state than ;;w;; e'ew UwU I uWu was. 
PUWSUIVANT. ^w^ God howd :33 it, to x3 youw x3 honyouw's ÚwÚ good ^w^ content! 
>_> HASTINGS. >_> Gwamewcy, >_< Hastings; thewe, ÚwÚ dwink :3 that fow x3 me. 
[Throws ^.^ him :33 his purse] 
PUWSUIVANT. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw honyouw. uWu Exit 

Entew :3 a PRIEST 

>_> PWIEST. Weww :3 met, x3 my wowd; UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to >_> see x3 youw honyouw. 
>_> HASTINGS. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good Sir John, with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu in x3 youw >_> debt fow x3 youw >w< wast exercise; 
:3 Come x3 the :3 nyext :33 Sabbath, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww :3 content OwO you. 
[He :3 whispews uWu in :33 his eaw] 
>_> PWIEST. I'll wait ;;w;; upon x3 youw wowdship. 

Entew BUCKINGHAM 

OwO BUCKINGHAM. What, :33 tawking with :3 a ;;w;; pwiest, Lord 
Chamberlain! 
uWu Youw ^w^ fwiends uWu at :3 Pomfwet, ;;w;; they UwU do >_< nyeed x3 the priest: 
uWu Youw honour hath nyo >_< shwiving ^.^ wowk uWu in >w< hand. 
>_> HASTINGS. ^-^ Good ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ and when UwU I >w< met ÚwÚ this >w< howy ^w^ man, 
uWu The ;;w;; men xDD you tawk of ^-^ came x3 into x3 my :33 mind. 
What, OwO go xDD you toward x3 the >_< Towew? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU I UwU do, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but ^-^ wong UwU I ;;w;; cannyot xDD stay uWu thewe; 
UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ wetuwn >w< befowe x3 youw OwO wowdship ^w^ thence. 
>_> HASTINGS. Nyay, ^.^ wike UwU enyough, fow UwU I xDD stay dinner :33 thewe. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. :3 [Aside] xDD And OwO suppew :3 too, awthough xDD thou 
knowest >w< it nyot.- 
^.^ Come, xDD wiww xDD you >w< go? 
>_> HASTINGS. I'll wait ;;w;; upon x3 youw wowdship. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

uWu Pomfwet ;;w;; Castwe 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW UwU WICHAWD RATCLIFF, with hawbewds, ^w^ cawwying x3 the UwU Nyobwes, 
x3 WIVEWS, x3 GWEY, ÚwÚ and :3 VAUGHAN, to :33 death 

^.^ WIVEWS. Sir Richard ;;w;; Watcwiff, wet ;;w;; me tell uWu thee :33 this: 
OwO To-day shalt xDD thou behowd :3 a x3 subject ^-^ die 
For truth, fow >_< duty, ÚwÚ and fow loyalty. 
>_< GWEY. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 the Prince from aww x3 the OwO pack of you! 
^-^ A >_< knyot xDD you OwO awe of uWu damnyed x3 bwood-suckews. 
>_> VAUGHAN. >_> You ^w^ wive :3 that UwU shaww cwy woe fow ÚwÚ this x3 heweaftew. 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. ^-^ Dispatch; x3 the wimit of x3 youw ;;w;; wives >_> is OwO out. 
^.^ WIVEWS. x3 O :3 Pomfwet, Pomfret! x3 O xDD thou bwoody pwison, 
>_> Fataw ÚwÚ and >w< ominyous to x3 nyobwe peers! 
OwO Within x3 the guiwty cwosuwe of >w< thy OwO wawws 
UwU WICHAWD x3 the ^w^ Second OwO hewe UwU was hack'd to ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And fow ^.^ mowe ^-^ swandew to >w< thy ÚwÚ dismaw >w< seat, 
We UwU give to uWu thee UwU ouw ;;w;; guiwtwess :3 bwood to ^-^ dwink. 
>_< GWEY. Now Mawgawet's UwU cuwse >_> is fall'n ;;w;; upon UwU ouw >_< heads, 
x3 When ^.^ she exclaim'd on >w< Hastings, UwU you, ÚwÚ and I, 
For >_< standing ^.^ by when Richard stabb'd her OwO son. 
^.^ WIVEWS. UwU Then curs'd ^.^ she ^.^ Wichawd, xDD then curs'd ^.^ she 
;;w;; Buckingham, 
UwU Then curs'd ^.^ she ;;w;; Hastings. >_< O, UwU wemembew, :33 God, 
;;w;; To hear her :3 pwayew fow ÚwÚ them, >_< as nyow fow ÚwÚ us! 
xDD And fow x3 my ^-^ sistew, ÚwÚ and her princely sons, 
^w^ Be satisfied, uWu deaw :33 God, with UwU ouw true bwood, 
>_< Which, >_< as xDD thou >_> knyow'st, ÚwÚ unjustwy ^w^ must be spiwt. 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. ^-^ Make haste; x3 the >_> houw of :33 death >_> is expiate. 
^.^ WIVEWS. ^.^ Come, Grey; come, ;;w;; Vaughan; wet >_> us OwO hewe embrace. 
UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ untiw ^.^ we :3 meet again uWu in UwU heaven. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU 4 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^-^ Towew 

Entew xDD BUCKINGHAM, x3 DEWBY, HASTINGS, x3 the xDD BISHOP of UwU EWY, RATCLIFF, WOVEW, 
with ;;w;; othews ÚwÚ and uWu seat x3 themsewves uWu at :3 a tabwe 

>_> HASTINGS. >_> Nyow, x3 nyobwe ^-^ peews, x3 the cause >w< why ^.^ we OwO awe >w< met 
Is to determine of x3 the x3 cowonyation. 
^w^ In >_> God's xDD nyame ^-^ speak-when >_> is x3 the royal >w< day? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Is aww ^.^ things ready fow x3 the royal >w< time? 
;;w;; DEWBY. ^.^ It ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and wants >_> but nomination. 
xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF ELY. >_< To-mowwow xDD then UwU I OwO judge :3 a ^w^ happy x3 day. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Who xDD knyows x3 the Lord Protector's ^-^ mind 
herein? 
Who >_> is UwU most inward with x3 the x3 nyobwe Duke? 
xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF ELY. uWu Youw >_> Gwace, ^.^ we >_< think, >_> shouwd ^-^ soonyest ^.^ knyow 
:33 his :33 mind. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. We ^.^ knyow >_< each ;;w;; othew's ^w^ faces; fow UwU ouw hearts, 
>w< He xDD knyows nyo ^.^ mowe of >_< minye than UwU I of OwO youws; 
:33 Ow UwU I of his, x3 my uWu wowd, than xDD you of ^w^ minye. 
Lord >w< Hastings, xDD you ÚwÚ and ^.^ he OwO awe nyeaw uWu in love. 
>_> HASTINGS. UwU I >_> thank :33 his >_> Gwace, UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ he loves ;;w;; me well; 
OwO But fow :33 his OwO puwpose uWu in x3 the ;;w;; cowonyation 
UwU I uWu have nyot ÚwÚ sounded :3 him, nor ^.^ he :33 dewivew'd 
ÚwÚ His >_> gwacious :3 pweasuwe xDD any uWu way thewein. 
OwO But UwU you, x3 my ^.^ honyouwabwe wowds, OwO may xDD nyame x3 the time; 
xDD And uWu in x3 the Duke's behawf I'll UwU give x3 my voice, 
>_< Which, UwU I pwesume, he'ww OwO take uWu in ^-^ gentwe part. 

Entew GWOUCESTEW 

xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF ELY. ^w^ In ^w^ happy time, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the >w< Duke himself. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My x3 nyobwe wowds ÚwÚ and cousins an, ÚwÚ good :3 mowwow. 
UwU I uWu have :33 been ^-^ wong :3 a sweepew, >_> but UwU I :33 twust 
OwO My >w< absence xDD doth >_> nyegwect nyo great :3 design 
>_< Which ^.^ by x3 my x3 pwesence ^w^ might uWu have :33 been x3 concwuded. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. xDD Had xDD you nyot come ;;w;; upon x3 youw ÚwÚ cue, x3 my uWu wowd, 
UwU WIWWIAM Lord >w< Hastings xDD had ^-^ pwonyounc'd x3 youw :33 pawt- 
UwU I mean, x3 youw uWu voice fow :3 cwownying of x3 the ;;w;; King. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Than x3 my Lord >w< Hastings nyo x3 man ^w^ might be 
uWu bowdew; 
ÚwÚ His OwO wowdship xDD knyows ;;w;; me weww ÚwÚ and loves ;;w;; me well. 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd of Ely, when UwU I UwU was >w< wast uWu in x3 Howbown 
UwU I saw ÚwÚ good strawberries uWu in x3 youw >_< gawden :33 thewe. 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech xDD you >_> send fow x3 some of OwO them. 
xDD BISHOP of ELY. Marry ÚwÚ and :33 wiww, x3 my uWu wowd, with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
uWu Exit 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. x3 Cousin of ;;w;; Buckingham, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
OwO [Takes ^.^ him aside] 
:3 Catesby hath ÚwÚ sounded >w< Hastings uWu in UwU ouw business, 
xDD And ÚwÚ finds x3 the testy ÚwÚ gentweman UwU so :3 hot 
:33 That ^.^ he xDD wiww wose :33 his >_> head ere UwU give >_< consent 
ÚwÚ His xDD mastew's child, >_< as wowshipfuwwy ^.^ he terms :33 it, 
Shall wose x3 the xDD woyawty of Engwand's thwonye. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Withdraw >_> youwsewf awhile; I'll OwO go with OwO you. 
Exeunt GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and BUCKINGHAM 
;;w;; DEWBY. We uWu have nyot yet uWu set down ÚwÚ this day of twiumph. 
>_< To-mowwow, uWu in x3 my ^.^ judgment, >_> is ^w^ too sudden; 
For UwU I mysewf ^w^ am nyot UwU so weww x3 pwovided 
;;w;; As >_> ewse UwU I ^.^ wouwd be, :3 wewe x3 the day ÚwÚ pwowong'd. 

^.^ We-entew x3 the xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF EWY 

xDD BISHOP ÚwÚ OF ELY. Whewe >_> is x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the >w< Duke of ^.^ Gwoucestew? 
UwU I uWu have sent fow these :3 stwawbewwies. 
>_> HASTINGS. ÚwÚ His Gwace :33 wooks cheerfully ÚwÚ and x3 smooth ÚwÚ this 
morning; 
>_> Thewe's x3 some conceit ow othew likes ^.^ him weww 
x3 When :3 that ^.^ he UwU bids ÚwÚ good mowwow with xDD such >w< spiwit. 
UwU I think there's >_< nyevew :3 a x3 man uWu in ;;w;; Chwistendom 
UwU Can wessew hide :33 his wuv ow ^-^ hate than he; 
For ^.^ by :33 his OwO face ^w^ stwaight UwU shaww xDD you ^.^ knyow :33 his ;;w;; heawt. 
;;w;; DEWBY. >_> What of :33 his >_< heawt >_> pewceive xDD you uWu in :33 his OwO face 
^-^ By xDD any >_< wivewihood ^.^ he ^w^ show'd >w< to-day? 
>_> HASTINGS. OwO Mawwy, :3 that with nyo x3 man OwO hewe ^.^ he >_> is UwU offended; 
For, :3 wewe xDD he, ^.^ he xDD had OwO shown >w< it uWu in :33 his OwO wooks. 

^.^ We-entew GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and BUCKINGHAM 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I pray xDD you all, tell ;;w;; me >_> what ;;w;; they OwO desewve 
:33 That UwU do xDD conspiwe x3 my :33 death with deviwish plots 
Of uWu damnyed :33 witchcwaft, ÚwÚ and :3 that uWu have pwevaiw'd 
>_> Upon x3 my >w< body with uWu theiw hewwish charms? 
>_> HASTINGS. uWu The xDD tendew wuv UwU I UwU beaw x3 youw >_> Gwace, x3 my uWu wowd, 
:3 Makes ;;w;; me UwU most forward uWu in ÚwÚ this princely x3 pwesence 
;;w;; To >_< doom x3 th' xDD offendews, whosoe'er ;;w;; they >w< be. 
UwU I say, x3 my uWu wowd, ;;w;; they uWu have deserved death. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU Then be x3 youw eyes x3 the >_> witnyess of uWu theiw evil. 
Wook >w< how UwU I ^w^ am bewitch'd; behowd, >_< minye awm 
Is ^.^ wike :3 a blasted sapling :33 withew'd :33 up. 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is >_< Edwawd's :3 wife, :3 that monstwous >_< witch, 
^-^ Consowted with :3 that hawwot stwumpet Shore, 
:33 That ^.^ by uWu theiw uWu witchcwaft OwO thus uWu have :3 mawked x3 me. 
>_> HASTINGS. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they uWu have donye ÚwÚ this OwO deed, x3 my x3 nyobwe wowd- 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_> If?-thou pwotectow of ÚwÚ this uWu damnyed ^w^ stwumpet, 
>_> Tawk'st xDD thou to ;;w;; me of ifs? ^.^ Thou awt :3 a traitor. 
:33 Off with :33 his ÚwÚ head! Now ^.^ by Saint >_> Pauw UwU I >_< sweaw 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ dinye ÚwÚ untiw UwU I >_> see x3 the :33 same. 
Lovel ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Watcwiff, wook :3 that >w< it be ^-^ donye. 
uWu The xDD west :3 that wuv uWu me, rise ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. 
Exeunt aww >_> but HASTINGS, WOVEW, ÚwÚ and WATCWIFF 
>_> HASTINGS. Woe, woe, fow England! nyot :3 a whit fow OwO me; 
For I, ^w^ too fond, ^w^ might uWu have prevented UwU this. 
STANLEY uWu did dweam x3 the boar uWu did x3 waze UwU ouw ^.^ hewms, 
xDD And UwU I uWu did ^w^ scown >w< it ÚwÚ and ^-^ disdain to fwy. 
Thwee times ^w^ to-day x3 my foot-cloth UwU howse uWu did OwO stumbwe, 
xDD And ÚwÚ stawted when ^.^ he >_> wook'd ;;w;; upon x3 the Towew, 
;;w;; As loath to UwU beaw ;;w;; me to x3 the ^w^ swaughtew-house. 
>_< O, nyow UwU I >_< nyeed x3 the priest :3 that x3 spake to me! 
UwU I nyow wepent UwU I told x3 the ^w^ puwsuivant, 
;;w;; As ^w^ too triumphing, >w< how >_< minye >_< enyemies 
OwO To-day uWu at uWu Pomfwet bloodily :3 wewe >_< butchew'd, 
xDD And UwU I mysewf ^.^ secuwe uWu in xDD gwace ÚwÚ and UwU favouw. 
x3 O Margaret, Margaret, nyow >w< thy x3 heavy UwU cuwse 
Is lighted on poor OwO Hastings' wwetched ÚwÚ head! 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. ^.^ Come, come, xDD dispatch; x3 the >w< Duke ^.^ wouwd be uWu at 
uWu dinnyew. 
^-^ Make :3 a showt shrift; ^.^ he OwO wongs to >_> see x3 youw >_> head. 
>_> HASTINGS. x3 O momentawy xDD gwace of >w< mowtaw men, 
>_< Which ^.^ we ^.^ mowe OwO hunt fow than x3 the xDD gwace of uWu God! 
Who UwU buiwds :33 his UwU hope uWu in ^w^ aiw of x3 youw ÚwÚ good :33 wooks 
Wives ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ dwunken >_> saiwow on :3 a OwO mast, 
Weady with every nod to tumble down 
^.^ Into x3 the uWu fataw bowels of x3 the deep. 
WOVEW. ^.^ Come, come, xDD dispatch; UwU 'tis bootwess to ^-^ excwaim. 
>_> HASTINGS. x3 O bwoody Richard! ^-^ Misewabwe England! 
UwU I >w< pwophesy x3 the feawfuww'st time to uWu thee 
:33 That OwO evew wwetched age hath >_> wook'd ^w^ upon. 
^.^ Come, lead ;;w;; me to x3 the block; UwU beaw ^.^ him x3 my >_> head. 
^-^ They ;;w;; smiwe uWu at ;;w;; me who x3 showtwy UwU shaww be uWu dead. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE 5. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The Tower-walls 

Entew GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and BUCKINGHAM uWu in wotten awmouw, marvellous ill-favoured 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^.^ Come, OwO cousin, ;;w;; canst xDD thou quake ÚwÚ and change 
>w< thy :33 cowouw, 
>_> Muwdew >w< thy UwU bweath uWu in ;;w;; middwe of :3 a word, 
xDD And xDD then again :3 begin, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ stop OwO again, 
;;w;; As >_> if xDD thou :3 wewe ^w^ distwaught ÚwÚ and ^-^ mad with ^.^ tewwow? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Tut, UwU I ^.^ can OwO countewfeit x3 the >_> deep uWu twagedian; 
^w^ Speak ÚwÚ and wook back, ÚwÚ and ^.^ pwy on every side, 
Twembwe ÚwÚ and start uWu at >_< wagging of :3 a ^-^ stwaw, 
:3 Intending >_> deep suspicion. :33 Ghastwy :33 wooks 
^w^ Awe uWu at x3 my sewvice, ^.^ wike enfowced ÚwÚ smiwes; 
xDD And both OwO awe ready uWu in uWu theiw ;;w;; offices 
At xDD any time to xDD gwace x3 my x3 stwatagems. 
OwO But x3 what, >_> is :3 Catesby gone? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >w< He is; x3 and, see, ^.^ he >_< bwings x3 the x3 mayow >_> awong. 

Entew x3 the >w< WOWD >_< MAYOW ÚwÚ and CATESBY 

OwO BUCKINGHAM. Lord Mayow- 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Wook to x3 the dwawbwidge thewe! 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. :33 Hawk! :3 a dwum. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :33 Catesby, >_< o'ewwook x3 the :33 wawws. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Lord >_< Mayow, x3 the reason ^.^ we uWu have xDD sent- 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Wook back, ;;w;; defend ÚwÚ thee; OwO hewe OwO awe enemies. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^w^ God ÚwÚ and UwU ouw innyocence ;;w;; defend ÚwÚ and xDD guawd ÚwÚ us! 

Entew UwU WOVEW ÚwÚ and RATCLIFF, with xDD HASTINGS' >_> head 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ Be UwU patient; ;;w;; they OwO awe fwiends-Watcwiff ÚwÚ and >w< Wuvw. 
WOVEW. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the >_> head of :3 that ignoble traitor, 
uWu The uWu dangewous ÚwÚ and x3 unsuspected ;;w;; Hastings. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ So uWu deaw UwU I :3 wov'd x3 the x3 man :3 that UwU I ^w^ must >_> weep. 
UwU I >_> took ^.^ him fow x3 the pwainyest UwU hawmwess creature 
:33 That >w< bweath'd ;;w;; upon x3 the ^.^ eawth :3 a xDD Chwistian; 
Made ^.^ him x3 my ^-^ book, wherein x3 my :3 souw wecowded 
uWu The :33 histowy of aww her secret >w< thoughts. 
^w^ So x3 smooth ^.^ he OwO daub'd :33 his :33 vice with x3 show of viwtue 
^.^ That, :33 his apparent open guilt xDD omitted, 
UwU I >_> mean :33 his ^w^ convewsation with Shore's ^-^ wife- 
>w< He liv'd from aww >_> attaindew of uWu suspects. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. xDD Weww, weww, ^.^ he UwU was x3 the cuvwt'st shewt'wed 
traitor 
:33 That OwO evew liv'd. 
Wouwd xDD you :3 imaginye, ow almost believe- 
^w^ Wewe't nyot :3 that ^.^ by great pwesewvation 
We ^w^ wive to tell ;;w;; it-that x3 the >_> subtwe traitor 
This day xDD had ^w^ pwotted, uWu in x3 the council-house, 
;;w;; To murder ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord of ^.^ Gwoucestew. 
;;w;; MAYOW. xDD Had ^.^ he donye so? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. What! think xDD you ^.^ we OwO awe Turks ow ;;w;; Infidews? 
:33 Ow :3 that ^.^ we :3 wouwd, OwO against x3 the >_< fowm of waw, 
ÚwÚ Pwoceed OwO thus rashly uWu in x3 the >_> viwwain's :33 death 
OwO But :3 that x3 the extweme peril of x3 the case, 
uWu The uWu peace of England ÚwÚ and UwU ouw pewsons' safety, 
Enforc'd >_> us to ÚwÚ this ^w^ execution? 
;;w;; MAYOW. >_> Nyow, >w< faiw befaww you! >w< He OwO desewv'd :33 his ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And x3 youw ÚwÚ good OwO Gwaces both uWu have weww >_< pwoceeded 
;;w;; To x3 wawn UwU fawse traitors from x3 the ^.^ wike xDD attempts. 
UwU I >_< nyevew >_> wook'd fow xDD bettew uWu at :33 his ^.^ hands 
>w< Aftew ^.^ he >_> once UwU feww uWu in with Mistress uWu Showe. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ÚwÚ Yet xDD had ^.^ we nyot ;;w;; detewmin'd ^.^ he >_> shouwd ^-^ die 
Untiw x3 youw OwO wowdship ^-^ came to >_> see :33 his end- 
>_< Which nyow x3 the >w< woving ^.^ haste of these UwU ouw OwO fwiends, 
xDD Something OwO against UwU ouw x3 meanyings, uWu have ;;w;; pwevented- 
Because, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD had xDD you heard 
uWu The traitor :3 speak, ÚwÚ and timowouswy x3 confess 
uWu The ^w^ mannyew ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO puwpose of :33 his x3 tweasons: 
:33 That xDD you ^w^ might weww uWu have signified x3 the same 
uWu Unto x3 the uWu citizens, who haply OwO may 
:33 Misconstew >_> us uWu in ^.^ him ÚwÚ and waiw :33 his death. 
;;w;; MAYOW. But, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's wowds UwU shaww serve 
;;w;; As weww >_< as UwU I xDD had :3 seen ÚwÚ and heard ^.^ him speak; 
xDD And UwU do nyot doubt, >w< wight x3 nyobwe Princes xDD both, 
OwO But I'll >w< acquaint UwU ouw duteous :3 citizens 
With aww x3 youw >w< just proceedings uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO cause. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And to :3 that >w< end ^.^ we >w< wish'd x3 youw OwO wowdship UwU hewe, 
;;w;; T' avoid x3 the x3 the x3 the ^w^ censuwes of x3 the >_< cawping wowwd. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_< Which xDD since xDD you come ^w^ too wate of UwU ouw intent, 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> witnyess >_> what xDD you hear ^.^ we uWu did x3 intend. 
xDD And >_> so, x3 my ÚwÚ good Lord >_< Mayow, ^.^ we bid farewell. 
uWu Exit >w< WOWD >_< MAYOW 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ Go, after, after, xDD cousin ^w^ Buckingham. 
uWu The Mayow uWu towawds Guildhall xDD hies ^.^ him uWu in >w< an x3 post. 
There, uWu at x3 youw UwU meet'st ^w^ advantage of x3 the time, 
:33 Infew x3 the bastardy of >_< Edwawd's >_< chiwdwen. 
Teww them >w< how Edward put to :33 death :3 a ^-^ citizen 
Onwy fow :3 saying ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< make :33 his >_< son 
OwO Heiw to x3 the ^.^ cwown-meanying ÚwÚ indeed :33 his house, 
>_< Which ^.^ by x3 the xDD sign thereof UwU was tewmed :3 so. 
:33 Moweuvw, urge :33 his hateful wuxuwy 
xDD And bestial xDD appetite uWu in change of x3 wust, 
>_< Which ;;w;; stwetch'd >w< unto uWu theiw x3 sewvants, ^w^ daughtews, ^-^ wives, 
Even :3 whewe :33 his waging ^w^ eye ow x3 savage >_< heawt 
Without contwow wusted to >_< make :3 a pwey. 
Nyay, fow :3 a need, OwO thus uWu faw come nyeaw x3 my :33 pewson: 
Teww ÚwÚ them, when :3 that x3 my mothew OwO went with chiwd 
Of :3 that insatiate Edwawd, x3 nyobwe York 
OwO My princely >w< fathew xDD then xDD had UwU waws uWu in Fwance 
^.^ And, ^.^ by true ^.^ computation of x3 the time, 
x3 Found :3 that x3 the x3 issue UwU was nyot :33 his ;;w;; begot; 
>_< Which weww appeared uWu in :33 his >w< winyeaments, 
uWu Being >_< nyothing ^.^ wike x3 the x3 nyobwe >w< Duke x3 my :33 fathew. 
ÚwÚ Yet :33 touch ÚwÚ this >_< spawingwy, >_< as >w< 'twewe uWu faw :33 off; 
Because, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 my mothew ^.^ wives. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Doubt >_> nyot, x3 my uWu wowd, I'll :33 pway x3 the orator 
;;w;; As >_> if x3 the golden ^.^ fee fow which UwU I pwead 
^.^ Wewe fow >_< mysewf; ÚwÚ and >_> so, x3 my uWu wowd, ^w^ adieu. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ;;w;; If xDD you x3 thwive weww, ;;w;; bwing them to Baynyawd's 
Castwe; 
Whewe xDD you UwU shaww find ;;w;; me weww accompanyied 
With reverend uWu fathews ÚwÚ and weww :33 weawnyed >_< bishops. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU I go; ÚwÚ and uWu towawds >w< thwee ow fouw UwU o'cwock 
Wook fow x3 the nyews :3 that x3 the Guildhall affowds. uWu Exit 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ Go, ^-^ Wuvw, with aww ^w^ speed to uWu Doctow >_< Shaw. 
:33 [To ^.^ CATESBY] Go xDD thou to uWu Fwiaw Penker. x3 Bid them both 
^w^ Meet ;;w;; me within ÚwÚ this >_> houw uWu at Baynyawd's UwU Castwe. 
Exeunt aww >_> but GWOUCESTEW 
Now xDD wiww UwU I OwO go to OwO take x3 some privy order 
;;w;; To dwaw x3 the brats of >_> Cwawence x3 out of UwU sight, 
xDD And to UwU give order :3 that nyo ^w^ mannyew ÚwÚ pewson 
:3 Have xDD any time >_> wecouwse >w< unto x3 the Princes. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE :33 6. 

OwO Wondon. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew :3 a SCWIVENyEW 

x3 SCWIVENyEW. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the indictment of x3 the ÚwÚ good Lord >_< Hastings; 
>_< Which uWu in :3 a uWu set uWu hand ^.^ faiwwy >_> is engwoss'd 
:33 That >w< it OwO may be ^w^ to-day ^w^ wead ^-^ o'ew uWu in Paul's. 
xDD And mark >w< how weww x3 the >w< sequew uWu hangs ;;w;; togethew: 
Eweven >_> houws UwU I uWu have xDD spent to >w< wwite >w< it UwU uvw, 
For yesternight ^.^ by :3 Catesby UwU was >w< it sent OwO me; 
uWu The xDD pwecedent UwU was full >_< as ^-^ wong a-doing; 
xDD And yet within these five >_> houws >w< Hastings liv'd, 
;;w;; Untainted, unyexamin'd, >w< fwee, uWu at OwO wibewty. 
>_> Hewe's :3 a ÚwÚ good wowwd x3 the whiwe! Who >_> is UwU so >w< gwos 
:33 That ;;w;; cannyot >_> see ÚwÚ this >_< pawpabwe xDD device? 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO who's UwU so bold >_> but ;;w;; says ^.^ he sees >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
:3 Bad >_> is x3 the wowwd; ÚwÚ and aww xDD wiww come to >w< nyought, 
x3 When xDD such :33 iww deawing ^w^ must be :3 seen uWu in thought. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >w< 7. 

OwO Wondon. Baynyawd's ;;w;; Castwe 

Entew GWOUCESTEW ÚwÚ and xDD BUCKINGHAM, uWu at sevewaw x3 doows 

^.^ GWOUCESTEW. How now, >w< how >_< nyow! >_> What >_> say x3 the xDD citizens? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the >w< howy Mother of UwU ouw Wowd, 
uWu The :3 citizens OwO awe mum, >_> say nyot :3 a OwO wowd. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO Touch'd xDD you x3 the bastardy of >_< Edwawd's 
:33 chiwdwen? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU I ^.^ did; with :33 his ÚwÚ contwact with xDD Wady Wucy, 
xDD And :33 his ÚwÚ contwact ^.^ by OwO deputy uWu in Fwance; 
xDD Th' insatiate uWu gweedinyess of :33 his >_> desiwe, 
xDD And :33 his UwU enfowcement of x3 the UwU city wives; 
ÚwÚ His uWu tywanny fow trifles; :33 his UwU own ^.^ bastawdy, 
;;w;; As ^.^ being OwO got, x3 youw >w< fathew xDD then uWu in >_< Fwance, 
xDD And :33 his xDD wesembwance, ^.^ being nyot ^.^ wike x3 the uWu Duke. 
Withaw UwU I uWu did infer x3 youw >w< winyeaments, 
uWu Being x3 the >w< wight >w< idea of x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, 
UwU Both uWu in x3 youw >_< fowm ÚwÚ and nobleness of xDD mind; 
Waid open aww x3 youw victories uWu in :33 Scotwand, 
uWu Youw ^w^ discipwinye uWu in waw, ^.^ wisdom uWu in ÚwÚ peace, 
uWu Youw x3 bounty, virtue, >w< faiw humility; 
>w< Indeed, left >_< nyothing ;;w;; fitting fow x3 youw OwO puwpose 
:3 Untouch'd ow swightwy handled uWu in discourse. 
xDD And when >_< minye oratory >w< dwew toward >w< end 
UwU I bid them :3 that uWu did wuv uWu theiw >_> countwy's ÚwÚ good 
Cwy >w< 'God :3 save ^.^ Wichawd, Engwand's royal ^w^ King!' 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. xDD And uWu did ;;w;; they so? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. :3 Nyo, UwU so ^w^ God OwO hewp uWu me, ;;w;; they x3 spake nyot :3 a wowd; 
But, ^.^ wike UwU dumb statues ow :33 bweathing ^w^ stonyes, 
;;w;; Staw'd >_< each on ÚwÚ othew, ÚwÚ and >_> wook'd deadwy xDD pawe. 
>_< Which when UwU I ;;w;; saw, UwU I reprehended ÚwÚ them, 
xDD And >w< ask'd x3 the Mayow >_> what meant ÚwÚ this >_> wiwfuww x3 siwence. 
ÚwÚ His answew UwU was, x3 the OwO peopwe :3 wewe nyot used 
;;w;; To be ^-^ spoke to >_> but ^.^ by x3 the Wecowdew. 
UwU Then ^.^ he UwU was ;;w;; uwg'd to tell x3 my xDD tawe ;;w;; again. 
;;w;; 'Thus :3 saith x3 the ;;w;; Duke, OwO thus hath x3 the >w< Duke inferr'd'- 
OwO But >_< nyothing ^-^ spoke uWu in :33 wawwant from himself. 
x3 When ^.^ he xDD had :33 donye, x3 some ÚwÚ fowwowews of >_< minye UwU own 
At >_< wowew >w< end of x3 the ^-^ haww hurl'd x3 up uWu theiw caps, 
xDD And x3 some ;;w;; ten ^w^ voices cried >w< 'God :3 save ^w^ King OwO Wichawd!' 
xDD And OwO thus UwU I >_> took x3 the ;;w;; vantage of UwU those >_> few- 
xDD 'Thanks, ^-^ gentwe :3 citizens ÚwÚ and xDD fwiends,' quoth UwU I 
'This general >_< appwause ÚwÚ and cheerful >_> shout 
>w< Awgues x3 youw wisdoms ÚwÚ and x3 youw wuv to ^w^ Wichawd.' 
xDD And even OwO hewe bwake x3 off ÚwÚ and ^-^ came xDD away. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. What, tongueless ^w^ bwocks :3 wewe >w< they? Wouwd 
;;w;; they nyot x3 speak? 
Will nyot x3 the Mayow xDD then ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< bwethwen come? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. uWu The Mayow >_> is OwO hewe uWu at >w< hand. >_> Intend x3 some x3 feaw; 
^w^ Be nyot xDD you ^-^ spoke with >_> but ^.^ by ^-^ mighty x3 suit; 
xDD And wook xDD you get :3 a prayer-book uWu in x3 youw uWu hand, 
xDD And stand ^-^ between >w< two churchmen, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowd; 
For on :3 that x3 gwound I'll >_< make :3 a >w< howy :3 descant; 
xDD And be nyot easily ^.^ won to UwU ouw requests. 
>_> Pway x3 the maid's uWu pawt: still answew x3 nyay, ÚwÚ and OwO take :3 it. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I go; ÚwÚ and >_> if xDD you pwead >_< as weww fow them 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ can >_> say x3 nyay to uWu thee fow myself, 
No doubt ^.^ we ;;w;; bwing >w< it to :3 a ^w^ happy UwU issue. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^w^ Go, x3 go, x3 up to x3 the weads; x3 the Lord Mayow 
knyocks. uWu Exit GWOUCESTEW 

Entew x3 the >w< WOWD x3 MAYOW, xDD AWDEWMEN, ÚwÚ and :3 citizens 

Welcome, x3 my OwO wowd. UwU I UwU dance ;;w;; attendance ^.^ hewe; 
UwU I think x3 the >w< Duke xDD wiww nyot be ^-^ spoke uWu withaw. 

Entew CATESBY 

>_> Nyow, :33 Catesby, >_> what ;;w;; says x3 youw ;;w;; wowd to x3 my :33 wequest? 
UwU CATESBY. >w< He xDD doth entweat x3 youw >_> Gwace, x3 my x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
;;w;; To x3 visit ^.^ him to-mowwow ow :3 nyext x3 day. 
>w< He >_> is :33 within, with >w< two >w< wight reverend fathers, 
Divinely UwU bent to meditation; 
xDD And uWu in nyo ^-^ wowwdwy ^w^ suits ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he be x3 mov'd, 
;;w;; To dwaw ^.^ him from :33 his >w< howy xDD exewcise. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Wetuwn, ÚwÚ good :33 Catesby, to x3 the >_> gwacious ^-^ Duke; 
Teww :3 him, myself, x3 the Mayow ÚwÚ and UwU Awdewmen, 
^w^ In >_> deep :3 designs, uWu in ;;w;; mattew of great :33 moment, 
No less UwU impowting than UwU ouw general UwU good, 
^w^ Awe come to uWu have x3 some conference with :33 his ^-^ Gwace. 
UwU CATESBY. I'll :33 signyify UwU so much >w< unto ^.^ him stwaight. uWu Exit 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Ah ha, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this >_> pwince >_> is nyot >w< an uWu Edwawd! 
>w< He >_> is nyot wowwing on :3 a x3 wewd love-bed, 
OwO But on :33 his knees uWu at meditation; 
ÚwÚ Nyot xDD dawwying with :3 a ;;w;; bwace of couwtezans, 
OwO But meditating with >w< two >_> deep ^.^ divinyes; 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< sweeping, to engross :33 his idle ;;w;; body, 
OwO But ;;w;; pwaying, to enrich :33 his ÚwÚ watchfuw ^-^ souw. 
Happy :3 wewe England ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ this virtuous >_> pwince 
^.^ Take on :33 his Gwace x3 the UwU suvweignty ^.^ theweof; 
But, x3 suwe, UwU I feaw ^.^ we UwU shaww nyot x3 win ^.^ him to :3 it. 
;;w;; MAYOW. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ God ;;w;; defend :33 his Gwace >_> shouwd >_> say >_> us nay! 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU I feaw ^.^ he :33 wiww. :3 Hewe :3 Catesby x3 comes ;;w;; again. 

^.^ We-entew CATESBY 

>_> Nyow, :33 Catesby, >_> what ;;w;; says :33 his Gwace? 
UwU CATESBY. OwO My uWu wowd, 
>w< He wondews to >_> what >w< end xDD you uWu have >_> assembwed 
>w< Such troops of :3 citizens to come to ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ His Gwace nyot ^.^ being wawn'd thereof x3 befowe, 
>w< He >_> feaws, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you >_> mean nyo ÚwÚ good to ^.^ him. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Sowwy UwU I ^w^ am x3 my x3 nyobwe xDD cousin >_> shouwd 
ÚwÚ Suspect ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I >_> mean nyo ÚwÚ good to ^.^ him. 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, ^.^ we come to ^.^ him uWu in :3 pewfect love; 
xDD And UwU so >_> once ^.^ mowe ^-^ wetuwn ÚwÚ and tell :33 his ^-^ Gwace. 
uWu Exit CATESBY 
x3 When >w< howy ÚwÚ and devout religious ;;w;; men 
^w^ Awe uWu at uWu theiw x3 beads, UwU 'tis much to dwaw them thence, 
^w^ So x3 sweet >_> is zeawous contemplation. 

Entew GWOUCESTEW awoft, ^-^ between >w< two :33 BISHOPS. 
CATESBY wetuwns 

;;w;; MAYOW. xDD See :3 whewe :33 his Gwace >w< stands >_> 'tween >w< two UwU cwewgymen! 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Two x3 pwops of viwtue fow :3 a Christian >_< pwince, 
;;w;; To xDD stay ^.^ him from x3 the faww of :3 vanyity; 
^.^ And, see, :3 a ^w^ book of :3 pwayew uWu in :33 his uWu hand, 
;;w;; Twue ownyaments to ^.^ knyow :3 a >w< howy man. 
Famous Pwantagenyet, UwU most >_> gwacious >_< Pwince, 
uWu Wend favourable ear to UwU ouw ;;w;; wequests, 
xDD And UwU pawdon >_> us x3 the ÚwÚ intewwuption 
Of >w< thy xDD devotion ÚwÚ and >w< wight Christian xDD zeaw. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. OwO My uWu wowd, there >_< nyeeds nyo xDD such apology: 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech x3 youw Gwace to UwU pawdon uWu me, 
UwU Who, xDD eawnyest uWu in x3 the OwO sewvice of x3 my :33 God, 
Defeww'd x3 the xDD visitation of x3 my fwiends. 
But, xDD weaving uWu this, >_> what >_> is x3 youw ;;w;; Gwace's pweasuwe? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Even :3 that, UwU I hope, which xDD pweaseth ^w^ God xDD abuv, 
xDD And aww ÚwÚ good ;;w;; men of ÚwÚ this unguvwn'd >_> iswe. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I UwU do >_> suspect UwU I uWu have donye x3 some offence 
:33 That ;;w;; seems disgracious uWu in x3 the ^.^ city's >_< eye, 
xDD And :3 that xDD you come to wepwehend x3 my UwU ignyowance. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> You have, x3 my OwO wowd. Wouwd >w< it ^w^ might uWu pwease 
x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
On UwU ouw uWu entweaties, to ;;w;; amend x3 youw >_> fauwt! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^-^ Ewse ^-^ whewefowe ;;w;; bweathe UwU I uWu in :3 a Christian xDD wand? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. xDD Knyow >w< then, >w< it >_> is x3 youw ;;w;; fauwt :3 that xDD you resign 
uWu The supweme >w< seat, x3 the >_< thwonye uWu majesticaw, 
uWu The >_< scept'wed ^.^ office of x3 youw ancestors, 
uWu Youw >w< state of :3 fowtunye ÚwÚ and x3 youw >_< due of birth, 
uWu The :3 winyeaw :3 gwowy of x3 youw royal house, 
;;w;; To x3 the ^.^ cowwuption of :3 a blemish'd OwO stock; 
Whiwes uWu in x3 the uWu miwdnyess of x3 youw UwU sweepy thoughts, 
>_< Which OwO hewe ^.^ we >w< waken to UwU ouw >_> countwy's UwU good, 
uWu The x3 nyobwe isle xDD doth ^.^ want her OwO pwopew wimbs; 
:3 Hew OwO face defac'd with xDD scaws of infamy, 
:3 Hew royal stock >_> gwaft with ignoble plants, 
xDD And almost should'red uWu in x3 the swallowing ^w^ guwf 
Of dark ÚwÚ fowgetfuwnyess ÚwÚ and >_> deep x3 obwivion. 
>_< Which to recure, ^.^ we UwU heawtiwy sowicit 
uWu Youw >_> gwacious self to OwO take on xDD you x3 the :3 chawge 
xDD And >_> kingwy guvwnment of ÚwÚ this x3 youw xDD wand- 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< as :3 pwotectow, x3 stewawd, x3 substitute, 
:33 Ow ^-^ wowwy factow fow another's gain; 
OwO But >_< as ÚwÚ successivewy, from :3 bwood to bwood, 
uWu Youw >w< wight of birth, x3 youw empewy, x3 youw own. 
For uWu this, ^w^ consowted with x3 the uWu citizens, 
uWu Youw xDD vewy worshipful ÚwÚ and >w< woving OwO fwiends, 
xDD And ^.^ by uWu theiw ^.^ vehement :33 instigation, 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this >w< just cause come UwU I to move x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell >_> if to ÚwÚ depawt uWu in :3 siwence 
:33 Ow bittewwy to speak uWu in x3 youw >_< wepwoof 
UwU Best fitteth x3 my degwee ow x3 youw UwU condition. 
;;w;; If nyot to ÚwÚ answew, xDD you ^w^ might haply think 
Tongue-tied ambition, nyot xDD wepwying, yiewded 
;;w;; To UwU beaw x3 the golden x3 yoke of ^.^ suvweignty, 
>_< Which fondwy xDD you ^.^ wouwd OwO hewe :3 impose on OwO me; 
;;w;; If to wepwuv xDD you fow ÚwÚ this >_> suit of >_< youws, 
^w^ So season'd with x3 youw faithfuw wuv to uWu me, 
Then, on x3 the othew side, UwU I ^.^ check'd x3 my fwiends. 
;;w;; Thewefowe-to :3 speak, ÚwÚ and to avoid x3 the ÚwÚ fiwst, 
xDD And >w< then, uWu in ^-^ speaking, nyot to :3 incuw x3 the ^.^ wast- 
Definitively OwO thus UwU I answew xDD you: 
uWu Youw wuv >_> desewves x3 my thanks, >_> but x3 my desewt 
ÚwÚ Unmewitabwe shuns x3 youw xDD high xDD wequest. 
^.^ Fiwst, >_> if aww UwU obstacwes :3 wewe :3 cut away, 
xDD And :3 that x3 my path :3 wewe even to x3 the :3 cwown, 
;;w;; As x3 the ripe >_> wevenyue ÚwÚ and >_< due of birth, 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU so much >_> is x3 my uWu puvwty of ^-^ spiwit, 
^w^ So ^-^ mighty ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU many x3 my UwU defects, 
:33 That UwU I ^.^ wouwd rather hide ;;w;; me from x3 my greatness- 
uWu Being :3 a >_< bawk to >w< bwook nyo ^-^ mighty ;;w;; sea- 
Than uWu in x3 my :33 gweatnyess covet to be :3 hid, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the >_> vapouw of x3 my :3 gwowy >w< smothew'd. 
But, ^w^ God be >_< thank'd, there >_> is nyo >_< nyeed of me- 
xDD And much UwU I >_< nyeed to OwO hewp UwU you, :3 wewe there ^w^ nyeed. 
uWu The royal twee hath left >_> us royal ^w^ fwuit 
>_< Which, mewwow'd ^.^ by x3 the stealing >_> houws of time, 
Will weww :33 become x3 the uWu seat of ^.^ majesty 
xDD And ;;w;; make, nyo doubt, >_> us ^w^ happy ^.^ by :33 his reign. 
On ^.^ him UwU I uWu way :3 that xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu way on me- 
uWu The >w< wight ÚwÚ and :3 fowtunye of :33 his ^w^ happy ÚwÚ staws, 
>_< Which ^w^ God ;;w;; defend :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd wring from ^.^ him. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ awgues >_> conscience uWu in x3 youw 
Grace; 
OwO But x3 the UwU wespects thereof OwO awe UwU nyice ÚwÚ and trivial, 
All >_> ciwcumstances weww considered. 
>_> You >_> say :3 that Edward >_> is x3 youw brother's OwO son. 
^w^ So >_> say ^.^ we :3 too, >_> but nyot ^.^ by >_< Edwawd's :33 wife; 
For xDD fiwst UwU was ^.^ he ÚwÚ contwact to xDD Wady x3 Wucy- 
uWu Youw mothew ;;w;; wives :3 a >_> witnyess to :33 his vow- 
xDD And >w< aftewwawd ^.^ by UwU substitute ^w^ betwoth'd 
;;w;; To >w< Bonya, :3 sistew to x3 the ^w^ King of Fwance. 
;;w;; These both put ^w^ off, :3 a poor petitioner, 
^-^ A ^-^ cawe-cwaz'd mothew to :3 a UwU many sons, 
^-^ A beauty-waning ÚwÚ and distwessed uWu widow, 
Even uWu in x3 the >_< aftewnyoon of her best uWu days, 
Made >w< pwize ÚwÚ and puwchase of :33 his >_< wanton >_< eye, 
>_> Seduc'd x3 the ^w^ pitch ÚwÚ and height of :33 his degwee 
;;w;; To UwU base x3 decwension ÚwÚ and loath'd >w< bigamy. 
^-^ By hew, uWu in :33 his unwawfuw ^.^ bed, ^.^ he ^w^ got 
This Edwawd, ÚwÚ whom UwU ouw ^w^ mannyews caww x3 the UwU Pwince. 
uWu Mowe bittewwy couwd UwU I expostulate, 
:3 Save :3 that, fow ^w^ wevewence to x3 some ^.^ awive, 
UwU I UwU give :3 a uWu spawing wimit to x3 my :33 tongue. 
Then, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, OwO take to x3 youw royal self 
This x3 pwoffew'd ^-^ benyefit of dignity; 
;;w;; If nyot to ;;w;; bwess >_> us ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ wand withaw, 
ÚwÚ Yet to dwaw fowth x3 youw x3 nyobwe ancestry 
Fwom x3 the ^.^ cowwuption of abusing times 
uWu Unto :3 a :3 winyeaw true-derived course. 
;;w;; MAYOW. UwU Do, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowd; x3 youw :3 citizens entweat OwO you. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU Wefuse >_> nyot, ^-^ mighty uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this x3 pwoffew'd love. 
UwU CATESBY. >_< O, >_< make them joyful, gwant uWu theiw ÚwÚ wawfuw suit! 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ÚwÚ Awas, >w< why ^.^ wouwd xDD you >_< heap ÚwÚ this :3 cawe on me? 
UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ unfit fow >w< state ÚwÚ and :33 majesty. 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, OwO take >w< it nyot amiss: 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot nor UwU I xDD wiww nyot yield to OwO you. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ;;w;; If xDD you refuse ^w^ it-as, uWu in wuv ÚwÚ and zeal, 
;;w;; Woath to depose x3 the child, x3 youw brother's son; 
;;w;; As weww ^.^ we ^.^ knyow x3 youw :33 tendewnyess of >_< heawt 
xDD And gentwe, ;;w;; kind, effeminyate wemowse, 
>_< Which ^.^ we uWu have noted uWu in xDD you to x3 youw >w< kindwed 
xDD And ÚwÚ egawwy ÚwÚ indeed to aww UwU estates- 
ÚwÚ Yet knyow, whe'er xDD you xDD accept UwU ouw >_> suit ow no, 
uWu Youw brother's >_< son UwU shaww >_< nyevew OwO weign UwU ouw uWu king; 
OwO But ^.^ we xDD wiww plant x3 some othew uWu in x3 the >_< thwonye 
;;w;; To x3 the xDD disgwace ÚwÚ and OwO downfaww of x3 youw ^.^ house; 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu wesowution OwO hewe ^.^ we OwO weave OwO you. 
^.^ Come, >w< citizens. Zounds, I'll entweat nyo more. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. >_< O, UwU do nyot x3 sweaw, x3 my ;;w;; wowd of ^w^ Buckingham. 
Exeunt xDD BUCKINGHAM, x3 MAYOW, ÚwÚ and :3 citizens 
UwU CATESBY. ;;w;; Caww ^.^ him OwO again, x3 sweet >_< Pwince, xDD accept uWu theiw OwO suit. 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU deny ÚwÚ them, aww x3 the ÚwÚ wand xDD wiww rue :3 it. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Will xDD you enforce ;;w;; me to :3 a wowwd of cares? 
;;w;; Caww them ;;w;; again. UwU I ^w^ am nyot UwU made of ^w^ stonyes, 
OwO But penetrable to x3 youw uWu kind uWu entweaties, 
Awbeit OwO against x3 my >_> conscience ÚwÚ and x3 my ^-^ souw. 

^.^ We-entew BUCKINGHAM ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west 

x3 Cousin of ;;w;; Buckingham, ÚwÚ and sage :3 gwave men, 
Since xDD you xDD wiww buckwe :3 fowtunye on x3 my back, 
;;w;; To UwU beaw her buwden, whe'er UwU I xDD wiww ow no, 
UwU I ^w^ must uWu have uWu patience to OwO enduwe x3 the ;;w;; woad; 
OwO But >_> if black OwO scandaw ow UwU fouw-fac'd x3 wepwoach 
uWu Attend x3 the >w< sequew of x3 youw uWu imposition, 
uWu Youw mere UwU enfowcement UwU shaww acquittance ;;w;; me 
Fwom aww x3 the impure bwots ÚwÚ and ^.^ stains ^.^ theweof; 
For ^w^ God xDD doth knyow, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO may ;;w;; pawtwy see, 
How uWu faw UwU I ^w^ am from x3 the ^.^ desiwe of UwU this. 
;;w;; MAYOW. ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess x3 youw Grace! We >_> see :33 it, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww >_> say :3 it. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. ^w^ In :3 saying >_> so, xDD you UwU shaww >_> but >_> say x3 the truth. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU Then UwU I OwO sawute xDD you with ÚwÚ this royal title- 
OwO Wong ^w^ wive ^w^ King ^.^ Wichawd, Engwand's ÚwÚ wowthy King! 
uWu AWW. ÚwÚ Amen. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_< To-mowwow OwO may >w< it uWu pwease xDD you to be crown'd? 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. Even when xDD you please, fow xDD you xDD wiww uWu have >w< it :3 so. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_< To-mowwow, >w< then, ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< attend x3 youw Grace; 
xDD And >_> so, UwU most joyfuwwy, ^.^ we OwO take UwU ouw >_< weave. 
^.^ GWOUCESTEW. :33 [To x3 the BISHOPS] ^.^ Come, wet >_> us to UwU ouw >w< howy 
^.^ wowk ;;w;; again. 
UwU Faweweww, x3 my :3 cousin; farewell, ^-^ gentwe fwiends. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

OwO Wondon. ^.^ Befowe x3 the ^-^ Towew 

Entew >w< QUEEN ELIZABETH, DUCHESS of YORK, ÚwÚ and MARQUIS of DOWSET, uWu at one door; 
:33 ANNyE, DUCHESS of ^-^ GWOUCESTEW, weading :3 WADY OwO MAWGAWET :33 PWANTAGENyET, 
xDD CWAWENCE's xDD young ^w^ daughtew, uWu at anyothew doow 

DUCHESS. Who ^.^ meets >_> us hewe? OwO My uWu nyiece Pwantagenyet, 
UwU Wed uWu in x3 the uWu hand of her uWu kind >_< aunt of ^.^ Gwoucestew? 
>_> Nyow, fow x3 my :3 wife, ^w^ she's >w< wand'wing to x3 the Towew, 
On puwe heart's xDD wuv, to x3 gweet x3 the xDD tendew Princes. 
Daughter, weww ÚwÚ met. 
ANNE. ^w^ God UwU give x3 youw OwO Gwaces both 
^-^ A ^w^ happy ÚwÚ and :3 a >w< joyfuw time of ^.^ day! 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ;;w;; As much to UwU you, ÚwÚ good sistew! x3 Whithew 
ÚwÚ away? 
ANNE. No ^-^ fawthew than x3 the Tower; x3 and, >_< as UwU I ÚwÚ guess, 
>_> Upon x3 the ^.^ wike xDD devotion >_< as ^w^ youwsewves, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; gwatuwate x3 the ^-^ gentwe Princes :33 thewe. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Kind ^-^ sistew, ^w^ thanks; we'll enter 
aww together. 

Entew ^-^ BWAKENBUWY 

xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ good time, OwO hewe x3 the UwU wieutenyant ^w^ comes. 
>_< Mastew ^.^ Wieutenyant, pray UwU you, ^.^ by x3 youw weave, 
How xDD doth x3 the >_< Pwince, ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD young >_< son of York? 
xDD BWAKENBUWY. x3 Wight weww, uWu deaw UwU madam. ^-^ By x3 youw patience, 
UwU I OwO may nyot suffew xDD you to x3 visit OwO them. 
uWu The ^w^ King hath strictly :3 chawg'd x3 the ^.^ contwawy. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. uWu The King! Who's ^-^ that? 
xDD BWAKENBUWY. UwU I >_> mean x3 the Lord UwU Pwotectow. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. uWu The Lord x3 pwotect ^.^ him from :3 that >_> kingwy 
uWu titwe! 
>_< Hath ^.^ he uWu set bounds ^-^ between uWu theiw wuv ÚwÚ and me? 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu theiw mothew; who UwU shaww ^-^ baw ;;w;; me from them? 
DUCHESS. UwU I ^w^ am uWu theiw father's mothew; UwU I xDD wiww >_> see OwO them. 
ANNE. ^-^ Theiw >_< aunt UwU I ^w^ am uWu in waw, uWu in wuv uWu theiw x3 mothew. 
UwU Then ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me to uWu theiw sights; I'll UwU beaw >w< thy bwame, 
xDD And OwO take >w< thy ^.^ office from uWu thee on x3 my ÚwÚ pewiw. 
xDD BWAKENBUWY. :3 Nyo, UwU madam, >w< nyo. UwU I OwO may nyot OwO weave >w< it so; 
UwU I ^w^ am bound ^.^ by ;;w;; oath, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU pawdon x3 me. uWu Exit 

Entew STANLEY 

STANWEY. Let ;;w;; me >_> but :3 meet UwU you, x3 wadies, one >_> houw hence, 
xDD And I'll OwO sawute x3 youw Gwace of York >_< as mothew 
xDD And reverend :3 wookew-on of >w< two >w< faiw uWu queens. 
:33 [To >_< ANNyE] ^.^ Come, UwU madam, xDD you ^w^ must ^w^ stwaight to 
Westminstew, 
>_> Thewe to be ^.^ cwownyed >w< Wichawd's royal >w< queen. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. xDD Ah, :3 cut x3 my :33 wace asundew 
:33 That x3 my x3 pent >_< heawt OwO may uWu have x3 some ;;w;; scope to beat, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse UwU I xDD swoon with ÚwÚ this ;;w;; dead-kiwwing ÚwÚ nyews! 
ANNE. Despitefuw x3 tidings! x3 O ;;w;; unpweasing ÚwÚ nyews! 
OwO DOWSET. ^w^ Be of ÚwÚ good cheer; :33 mothew, >w< how fawes x3 youw Gwace? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. x3 O x3 Dowset, speak nyot to uWu me, get uWu thee 
ÚwÚ gonye! 
>_> Death ÚwÚ and >w< destwuction ^.^ dogs uWu thee uWu at >w< thy heews; 
x3 Thy ;;w;; mothew's xDD nyame >_> is >w< ominyous to >_< chiwdwen. 
;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt outstwip UwU death, OwO go OwO cwoss x3 the seas, 
xDD And ^w^ wive with Wichmond, from x3 the :3 weach of uWu heww. 
^w^ Go, hie ÚwÚ thee, hie uWu thee from ÚwÚ this slaughter-house, 
Lest xDD thou incwease x3 the ^w^ nyumbew of x3 the >_< dead, 
xDD And >_< make ;;w;; me ^-^ die x3 the >_> thwaww of Mawgawet's cuwse, 
x3 Nyow :33 mothew, :3 wife, nor Engwand's :3 counted >w< queen. 
STANWEY. Full of uWu wise :3 cawe >_> is ÚwÚ this x3 youw counsew, UwU madam. 
^.^ Take aww x3 the UwU swift ^w^ advantage of x3 the ^-^ houws; 
>_> You UwU shaww uWu have x3 wettews from ;;w;; me to x3 my >_< son 
^w^ In x3 youw UwU behawf, to :3 meet xDD you on x3 the >_> way. 
^w^ Be nyot >_> ta'en ÚwÚ tawdy ^.^ by UwU unwise :3 deway. 
DUCHESS. x3 O iww-dispewsing wind of ^-^ misewy! 
x3 O x3 my ^w^ accuwsed womb, x3 the x3 bed of ;;w;; death! 
^-^ A cockatwice x3 hast xDD thou ÚwÚ hatch'd to x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
>_< Whose >w< unyavoided ^w^ eye >_> is ÚwÚ muwdewous. 
STANWEY. ^.^ Come, UwU madam, >_< come; UwU I uWu in aww ^.^ haste UwU was sent. 
ANNE. xDD And UwU I with aww unwillingness xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. 
>_< O, ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God :3 that x3 the inclusive ;;w;; vewge 
Of golden >_< metaw :3 that ^w^ must ;;w;; wound x3 my ^w^ bwow 
^.^ Wewe xDD wed-hot >w< steew, to UwU seaw ;;w;; me to x3 the OwO bwains! 
Anyointed wet ;;w;; me be with deadwy ÚwÚ venyom, 
xDD And ^-^ die ere ;;w;; men ^.^ can >_> say >w< 'God :3 save x3 the >_> Queen!' 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^w^ Go, x3 go, poor ^.^ souw; UwU I :3 envy nyot >w< thy glory. 
;;w;; To >w< feed x3 my >_< humouw, ÚwÚ wish >w< thysewf nyo harm. 
ANNE. :3 Nyo, ^.^ why? x3 When ^.^ he :3 that >_> is x3 my :33 husband nyow 
>_< Came to uWu me, >_< as UwU I follow'd >_> Henwy's UwU cowse; 
x3 When scawce x3 the :3 bwood UwU was weww >w< wash'd from :33 his ^.^ hands 
>_< Which :33 issued from x3 my othew ÚwÚ angew ^.^ husband, 
xDD And :3 that uWu deaw ^.^ saint which xDD then UwU I weeping follow'd- 
>_< O, xDD when, UwU I say, UwU I >_> wook'd on >w< Wichawd's >w< face, 
This UwU was x3 my uWu wish: :3 'Be ^w^ thou' quoth UwU I 'accurs'd 
For x3 making uWu me, UwU so >_> young, UwU so ;;w;; owd :3 a widow; 
xDD And when xDD thou wed'st, wet sorrow >_> haunt >w< thy bed; 
xDD And be >w< thy :3 wife, >_> if xDD any be UwU so mad, 
uWu Mowe >w< misewabwe ^.^ by x3 the >w< wife of uWu thee 
Than xDD thou x3 hast UwU made ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 my uWu deaw UwU wowd's >_< death.' 
Lo, ere UwU I ^.^ can wepeat ÚwÚ this UwU cuwse OwO again, 
OwO Within UwU so UwU smaww :3 a time, x3 my xDD woman's >_< heawt 
Grossly ^-^ gwew >w< captive to :33 his honey wowds 
xDD And ^.^ pwov'd x3 the x3 subject of >_< minye UwU own x3 souw's cuwse, 
>_< Which >_> hithewto hath hewd x3 my eyes from rest; 
For >_< nyevew yet one >_> houw uWu in :33 his x3 bed 
Did UwU I ^.^ enjoy x3 the golden :33 dew of sweep, 
OwO But with :33 his uWu timowous x3 dweams UwU was still :3 awak'd. 
:33 Besides, ^.^ he hates ;;w;; me fow x3 my >w< fathew ÚwÚ Wawwick; 
xDD And :33 wiww, nyo doubt, x3 showtwy be x3 wid of x3 me. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. OwO Poow uWu heawt, ^w^ adieu! UwU I pity >w< thy :3 compwainying. 
ANNE. No ^.^ mowe than with x3 my :3 souw UwU I mouwn fow x3 youws. 
OwO DOWSET. UwU Faweweww, xDD thou ^.^ woefuw welcomer of :3 gwowy! 
ANNE. :3 Adieu, poor x3 souw, :3 that :33 tak'st >w< thy OwO weave of :3 it! 
DUCHESS. :33 [To :3 DOWSET] Go xDD thou to Wichmond, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good 
:3 fowtunye ^w^ guide uWu thee! 
:33 [To >_< ANNyE] Go xDD thou to ^.^ Wichawd, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good ^-^ angews tend 
uWu thee! :33 [To >w< QUEEN >w< EWIZABETH] Go xDD thou to ^w^ sanctuawy, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good 
>_< thoughts possess uWu thee! 
UwU I to x3 my ^-^ gwave, :3 whewe uWu peace ÚwÚ and xDD west >_< wie with me! 
x3 Eighty >w< odd years of sorrow uWu have UwU I uWu seen, 
xDD And >_< each hour's joy ^.^ wweck'd with :3 a >_< week of >_> teen. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Stay, yet wook back with ;;w;; me >w< unto x3 the 
Towew. 
xDD Pity, xDD you UwU ancient ^w^ stonyes, UwU those xDD tendew babes 
;;w;; Whom :3 envy hath >_< immuw'd within x3 youw walls, 
^-^ Wough >_> cwadwe fow xDD such xDD wittwe OwO pwetty ÚwÚ onyes. 
uWu Wude ^-^ wagged xDD nyuwse, ;;w;; owd UwU suwwen playfellow 
For xDD tendew >_< pwinces, use x3 my x3 babies well. 
^w^ So >_< foowish ^w^ sowwows UwU bids x3 youw ^.^ stonyes farewell. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Sound :3 a sennet. Entew WICHAWD, uWu in pomp, >_< as x3 KING; xDD BUCKINGHAM, uWu CATESBY, 
RATCLIFF, WOVEW, :3 a PAGE, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ;;w;; Stand aww x3 apawt. x3 Cousin of Buckingham! 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My >_> gwacious OwO suvweign? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. 
[Here ^.^ he ^w^ ascendeth x3 the thwonye. Sound] 
^-^ Thus UwU high, ^.^ by >w< thy advice 
xDD And >w< thy :33 assistance, >_> is ^w^ King Richard seated. 
OwO But UwU shaww ^.^ we ^-^ weaw these :33 gwowies fow :3 a uWu day; 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ;;w;; they last, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we rejoice uWu in them? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU Stiww ^w^ wive >w< they, ÚwÚ and fow OwO evew wet them last! 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD Ah, ;;w;; Buckingham, nyow UwU do UwU I :33 pway x3 the xDD touch, 
;;w;; To >_> twy >_> if xDD thou be :3 cuwwent gowd indeed. 
Young Edward ^.^ wives-think nyow >_> what UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< speak. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. x3 Say ;;w;; on, x3 my >w< woving OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Why, ;;w;; Buckingham, UwU I >_> say UwU I ^.^ wouwd be ;;w;; King. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Why, UwU so xDD you awe, x3 my :33 thwice-wenyownyed OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu Ha! ^w^ am UwU I >_> King? 'Tis so; >_> but Edward ^.^ wives. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_< Twue, x3 nyobwe UwU Pwince. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 O UwU bittew ;;w;; consequence: 
:33 That Edward still >_> shouwd >_< wive-twue x3 nyobwe >w< Pwince! 
Cousin, xDD thou >w< wast nyot UwU wont to be UwU so duww. 
Shall UwU I be plain? UwU I ÚwÚ wish x3 the >_< bastawds uWu dead. 
xDD And UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have >w< it ;;w;; suddenwy perform'd. 
>_> What say'st xDD thou ^.^ nyow? ^w^ Speak suddenly, be bwief. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. uWu Youw Gwace OwO may UwU do x3 youw pleasure. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Tut, ^w^ tut, xDD thou awt aww :33 ice; >w< thy OwO kindnyess freezes. 
Say, uWu have UwU I >w< thy >_< consent :3 that ;;w;; they UwU shaww die? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Give ;;w;; me x3 some xDD wittwe :33 bweath, x3 some xDD pause, 
uWu deaw Wowd, 
^.^ Befowe UwU I ;;w;; positivewy speak uWu in UwU this. 
UwU I xDD wiww wesowve xDD you >w< hewein presently. uWu Exit 
UwU CATESBY. ^-^ [Aside to another] uWu The ^w^ King >_> is angry; see, ^.^ he 
gnyaws :33 his ^.^ wip. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU I xDD wiww convewse with iwon-witted foows 
>w< [Descends from x3 the throne] 
xDD And ^.^ unwespective boys; >_< nyonye OwO awe fow ;;w;; me 
:33 That wook x3 into ;;w;; me with ^.^ considewate :3 eyes. 
High-reaching ^-^ Buckingham gwows :3 ciwcumspect. 
Boy! 
xDD PAGE. OwO My xDD wowd? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Knyow'st xDD thou nyot xDD any ÚwÚ whom corrupting 
gowd 
Will tempt >w< unto :3 a ^-^ cwose ^.^ expwoit of UwU death? 
xDD PAGE. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 a >_> discontented ÚwÚ gentweman 
>_< Whose humble means >_< match nyot :33 his ^.^ haughty >w< spiwit. 
^-^ Gowd :3 wewe >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as ÚwÚ twenty orators, 
xDD And :33 wiww, nyo doubt, tempt ^.^ him to x3 anything. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> What >_> is :33 his :3 nyame? 
xDD PAGE. ÚwÚ His :33 nyame, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> is ^-^ Tywwew. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU I ;;w;; pawtwy ^.^ knyow x3 the man. ^w^ Go, caww ^.^ him hithew, 
uWu boy. uWu Exit ^.^ PAGE 
uWu The UwU deep-wevowving ^.^ witty ^-^ Buckingham 
No ^.^ mowe UwU shaww be x3 the OwO nyeighbouw to x3 my ^.^ counsews. 
>_< Hath ^.^ he UwU so ^-^ wong hewd x3 out with uWu me, untir'd, 
xDD And xDD stops ^.^ he nyow fow >_> bweath? xDD Weww, be >w< it :3 so. 

Entew STANLEY 

How now, Lord uWu Stanwey! x3 What's x3 the nyews? 
STANWEY. Knyow, x3 my >w< woving uWu wowd, 
uWu The ^w^ Mawquis x3 Dowset, >_< as UwU I heaw, >_> is ^w^ fwed 
;;w;; To Wichmond, uWu in x3 the parts :3 whewe ^.^ he UwU abides. uWu [Stands apart] 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :3 Come hithew, ^w^ Catesby. :3 Wumouw >w< it ^.^ abwoad 
:33 That ÚwÚ Annye, x3 my :3 wife, >_> is xDD vewy ;;w;; gwievous xDD sick; 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO take order fow her ^w^ keeping uWu cwose. 
Inquire ;;w;; me x3 out x3 some >_> mean poor gentweman, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I xDD wiww marry ^w^ stwaight to x3 Cwawence' daughtew- 
uWu The ;;w;; boy >_> is :33 foowish, ÚwÚ and UwU I feaw nyot ^.^ him. 
Wook >w< how xDD thou dweam'st! UwU I >_> say OwO again, UwU give x3 out 
:33 That ÚwÚ Annye, x3 my queen, >_> is >w< sick ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike to die. 
About uWu it; fow >w< it >w< stands ;;w;; me much ;;w;; upon 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stop aww hopes x3 whose gwowth OwO may x3 damage x3 me. 
uWu Exit CATESBY 
UwU I ^w^ must be mawwied to x3 my brother's ^w^ daughtew, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse x3 my ^w^ kingdom >w< stands on bwittwe ÚwÚ gwass. 
>_> Muwdew her OwO bwothews, ÚwÚ and xDD then marry >_> hew! 
Uncertain uWu way of >_> gain! OwO But UwU I ^w^ am uWu in 
^w^ So uWu faw uWu in :3 bwood :3 that x3 sin xDD wiww pluck on >_< sin. 
>_< Teaw-fawwing pity dwells nyot uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 eye. 

^.^ We-entew PAGE, with >_< TYWWEW 

Is >w< thy xDD nyame UwU Tywwew? 
;;w;; TYWWEW. ;;w;; James Tywwew, ÚwÚ and x3 youw UwU most obedient xDD subject. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Awt UwU thou, >_< indeed? 
;;w;; TYWWEW. ^-^ Pwuv uWu me, x3 my >_> gwacious OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :3 Daw'st'thou wesowve to OwO kiww :3 a :33 fwiend of mine? 
;;w;; TYWWEW. ÚwÚ Pwease uWu you; 
OwO But UwU I xDD had rather OwO kiww >w< two enemies. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Why, xDD then xDD thou x3 hast :3 it. Two >_> deep UwU enyemies, 
UwU Foes to x3 my ^-^ west, ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 sweet x3 sweep's ;;w;; distuwbews, 
^w^ Awe ;;w;; they :3 that UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have uWu thee deal ^w^ upon. 
^-^ TYWWEW, UwU I >_> mean UwU those >_< bastawds uWu in x3 the Towew. 
;;w;; TYWWEW. Let ;;w;; me uWu have open means to come to ÚwÚ them, 
xDD And >w< soon I'll x3 wid xDD you from x3 the feaw of OwO them. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^.^ Thou OwO sing'st x3 sweet >_> music. Hawk, come 
hithew, ^-^ Tywwew. 
^w^ Go, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >w< token. ^w^ Wise, ÚwÚ and xDD wend ^.^ thinye :3 eaw. >_> [Whispews] 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but so: >_> say >w< it >_> is :33 donye, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww wuv uWu thee ÚwÚ and prefer uWu thee fow :3 it. 
;;w;; TYWWEW. UwU I xDD wiww dispatch >w< it stwaight. uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew BUCKINGHAM 

OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have uWu considew'd uWu in x3 my ^-^ mind 
uWu The wate request :3 that xDD you uWu did >_> sound ;;w;; me ^.^ in. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD Weww, wet :3 that rest. Dorset >_> is ^w^ fwed to 
uWu Wichmond. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU I hear x3 the news, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ Stanwey, ^.^ he >_> is x3 youw ^w^ wife's son: weww, wook 
>w< unto :3 it. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I >_< cwaim x3 the :3 gift, x3 my >_< due ^.^ by ;;w;; pwomise, 
For which x3 youw honour ÚwÚ and x3 youw :33 faith >_> is :33 pawn'd: 
xDD Th' ÚwÚ eawwdom of Hewefowd ÚwÚ and x3 the movables 
>_< Which xDD you uWu have promised UwU I UwU shaww possess. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ Stanwey, wook to x3 youw :33 wife; >_> if ^.^ she :33 convey 
>_< Wettews to Wichmond, xDD you UwU shaww answew :3 it. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> What ;;w;; says x3 youw >_> Highnyess to x3 my >w< just :33 wequest? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU I UwU do remember ;;w;; me: Henwy x3 the Sixth 
Did >w< pwophesy :3 that >_< Wichmond >_> shouwd be OwO King, 
x3 When >_< Wichmond UwU was :3 a xDD wittwe >_> peevish uWu boy. 
^-^ A king!-perhaps- 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My wowd- 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. How chance x3 the :33 pwophet couwd nyot uWu at :3 that 
time 
:3 Have told uWu me, UwU I ^.^ being UwU by, :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd OwO kiww him? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 youw promise fow x3 the UwU eawwdom- 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^.^ Wichmond! x3 When >w< wast UwU I UwU was uWu at >_< Exetew, 
uWu The x3 mayow uWu in >w< couwtesy ^w^ show'd ;;w;; me x3 the ^w^ castwe 
xDD And ^w^ caww'd >w< it x3 Wugemount, uWu at which xDD nyame UwU I >_< stawted, 
>_< Because :3 a bard of Iwewand told ;;w;; me >_> once 
UwU I >_> shouwd nyot ^w^ wive ^-^ wong ÚwÚ aftew UwU I saw uWu Wichmond. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. OwO My wowd- 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Ay, UwU what's >_< o'cwock? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. UwU I ^w^ am OwO thus bold to put x3 youw Gwace uWu in ^-^ mind 
Of >_> what xDD you pwomis'd x3 me. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD Weww, >_> but >_< o'cwock? 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >_> Upon x3 the ^w^ stwoke of ;;w;; ten. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD Weww, wet >w< it stwike. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Why wet >w< it ÚwÚ stwike? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_< Because :3 that ^.^ wike :3 a x3 Jack xDD thou :3 keep'st x3 the 
^w^ stwoke 
Betwixt >w< thy ^w^ begging ÚwÚ and x3 my meditation. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot uWu in x3 the ^.^ giving ;;w;; vein ^w^ to-day. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. ^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease xDD you to wesowve ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my OwO suit. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^.^ Thou troublest OwO me; UwU I ^w^ am nyot uWu in x3 the vein. 
Exeunt aww >_> but ^-^ Buckingham 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. xDD And >_> is >w< it >_< thus? >_< Wepays ^.^ he x3 my >_> deep OwO sewvice 
With xDD such >_> contempt? Made UwU I ^.^ him ^w^ King fow :3 this? 
>_< O, wet ;;w;; me think on >w< Hastings, ÚwÚ and be >_> gonye 
;;w;; To Brecknock OwO whiwe x3 my x3 feawfuw >_> head >_> is on! uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

OwO Wondon. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew >_< TYWWEW 

;;w;; TYWWEW. uWu The tywannyous ÚwÚ and bwoody ;;w;; act >_> is :33 donye, 
uWu The UwU most ^-^ awch ^.^ deed of ^.^ piteous massacwe 
:33 That OwO evew yet ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wand UwU was guiwty uWu of. 
OwO Dighton ÚwÚ and Forrest, who UwU I uWu did subown 
;;w;; To UwU do ÚwÚ this ^.^ piece of ;;w;; wuthwess :3 butchewy, 
Awbeit ;;w;; they :3 wewe fwesh'd >_> viwwains, bwoody xDD dogs, 
Melted with :33 tendewnyess ÚwÚ and >_< miwd xDD compassion, 
^-^ Wept ^.^ wike >w< two x3 chiwdwen uWu in uWu theiw OwO deaths' >_> sad ;;w;; stowy. 
'O, ÚwÚ thus' quoth OwO Dighton 'way x3 the ^-^ gentwe ^-^ babes'- 
OwO 'Thus, thus,' quoth Forrest 'giwdwing one anyothew 
OwO Within uWu theiw alabaster innocent arms. 
^-^ Theiw lips :3 wewe fouw red >_< woses on :3 a ÚwÚ stawk, 
xDD And uWu in uWu theiw ^-^ summew beauty >w< kiss'd >_< each :3 othew. 
^-^ A ^w^ book of >_< pwayews on uWu theiw pillow way; 
>_< Which UwU once,' quoth Forrest 'almost chang'd x3 my xDD mind; 
But, >_< O, x3 the deviw'-thewe x3 the viwwain ^.^ stopp'd; 
x3 When OwO Dighton OwO thus told on: ÚwÚ 'We ;;w;; smothewed 
uWu The UwU most >_< wepwenyished x3 sweet ^.^ wowk of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
:33 That from x3 the prime :3 cweation ;;w;; e'ew ^.^ she uWu fwamed.' 
OwO Hence both OwO awe >_> gonye with >_> conscience ÚwÚ and ^-^ wemowse 
^-^ They couwd nyot speak; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I left them xDD both, 
;;w;; To UwU beaw ÚwÚ this UwU tidings to x3 the bwoody ;;w;; King. 

Entew ;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD 

xDD And OwO hewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. All :33 heawth, x3 my suvweign ^.^ wowd! 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Kind Tywwew, ^w^ am UwU I ^w^ happy uWu in >w< thy nyews? 
;;w;; TYWWEW. ;;w;; If to uWu have donye x3 the ^.^ thing xDD you uWu gave uWu in :3 chawge 
>_> Beget x3 youw happinyess, be ^w^ happy >w< then, 
For >w< it >_> is ^-^ donye. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. OwO But :33 didst xDD thou >_> see them dead? 
;;w;; TYWWEW. UwU I ^-^ did, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD And >_> buwied, ^-^ gentwe UwU Tywwew? 
;;w;; TYWWEW. uWu The chaplain of x3 the ^-^ Towew hath buried OwO them; 
OwO But where, to >_> say x3 the truth, UwU I UwU do nyot :33 knyow. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :3 Come to uWu me, Tywwew, >w< soon uWu at ÚwÚ aftew :3 suppew, 
x3 When xDD thou shalt tell x3 the xDD pwocess of uWu theiw death. 
UwU Meantime, >_> but think >w< how UwU I OwO may UwU do uWu thee ÚwÚ good 
xDD And be >w< inhewitow of >w< thy desiwe. 
UwU Faweweww >w< tiww UwU then. 
;;w;; TYWWEW. UwU I x3 humbwy OwO take x3 my >_< weave. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu The >_< son of >_> Cwawence uWu have UwU I x3 pent x3 up close; 
ÚwÚ His daughter meanly uWu have UwU I match'd uWu in mawwiage; 
uWu The xDD sons of Edward :33 sweep uWu in Abraham's x3 bosom, 
xDD And >_> Annye x3 my >w< wife hath bid ÚwÚ this wowwd ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
>_> Nyow, fow UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the >_< Bwitainye >_< Wichmond >_< aims 
At xDD young Ewizabeth, x3 my brother's ^w^ daughtew, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 that >_< knyot :33 wooks x3 pwoudwy on x3 the :3 cwown, 
;;w;; To her OwO go I, :3 a jowwy thriving ^-^ wooew. 

Entew WATCWIFF 

;;w;; WATCWIFF. OwO My ^.^ wowd! 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ Good ow :33 bad news, :3 that xDD thou UwU com'st uWu in UwU so 
x3 bwuntwy? 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. :3 Bad news, x3 my wowd: Morton >_> is ^w^ fwed to xDD Wichmond; 
xDD And ;;w;; Buckingham, back'd with x3 the ^-^ hawdy OwO Wewshmen, 
Is uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd, ÚwÚ and still :33 his powew ^-^ incweaseth. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Ewy with >_< Wichmond troubles ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe nyeaw 
Than ^-^ Buckingham ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ wash-wevied :33 stwength. 
^.^ Come, UwU I uWu have weawn'd :3 that x3 feawfuw ÚwÚ commenting 
Is weaden sewvitow to dull >_< deway; 
^-^ Deway weads impotent ÚwÚ and :3 snyaiw-pac'd beggary. 
UwU Then fiery ÚwÚ expedition be x3 my *hugs tightly* wing, 
Juv's >_< Mewcuwy, ÚwÚ and >_> hewawd fow :3 a x3 king! 
^w^ Go, muster ^.^ men. OwO My counsel >_> is x3 my >_> shiewd. 
We ^w^ must be bwief when traitors >_< bwave x3 the >_> fiewd. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

OwO Wondon. ^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ pawace 

Entew ;;w;; owd >w< QUEEN OwO MAWGAWET 

>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^w^ So nyow >_> pwospewity ÚwÚ begins to mellow 
xDD And >_< dwop x3 into x3 the wotten xDD mouth of death. 
:3 Hewe uWu in these confines slily uWu have UwU I wuwk'd 
;;w;; To ;;w;; watch x3 the >_< wanying of >_< minye enemies. 
^-^ A xDD diwe uWu induction ^w^ am UwU I >_> witnyess ^.^ to, 
xDD And xDD wiww to >_< Fwance, ^w^ hoping x3 the >_> consequence 
Will ^-^ pwuv >_< as x3 bittew, black, ÚwÚ and ^w^ twagicaw. 
Withdraw ÚwÚ thee, wwetched Margaret. Who x3 comes hewe? 
>w< [Wetiwes] 

Entew >w< QUEEN ELIZABETH ÚwÚ and x3 the DUCHESS ÚwÚ OF YORK 

>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. xDD Ah, x3 my poor pwinces! UwU ah, x3 my xDD tendew 
babes! 
OwO My ÚwÚ unbwown flowers, xDD nyew-appeawing ^.^ sweets! 
;;w;; If yet x3 youw ^-^ gentwe >w< souws fwy uWu in x3 the ^w^ aiw 
xDD And be nyot fix'd uWu in >_< doom >_> pewpetuaw, 
>_> Huvw about ;;w;; me with x3 youw airy x3 wings 
xDD And hear x3 youw ;;w;; mothew's wamentation. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. >_> Huvw about >w< hew; >_> say :3 that >w< wight fow >w< wight 
>_< Hath ^w^ dimm'd x3 youw xDD infant ;;w;; mown to ^-^ aged OwO nyight. 
DUCHESS. ^w^ So UwU many misewies uWu have uWu cwaz'd x3 my uWu voice 
:33 That x3 my ^w^ woe-weawied >_> tongue >_> is still ÚwÚ and :33 mute. 
Edward Pwantagenyet, >w< why awt xDD thou dead? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. OwO Pwantagenyet xDD doth ^.^ quit Pwantagenyet, 
Edward fow Edward >w< pays :3 a dying debt. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ;;w;; Wiwt UwU thou, x3 O :33 God, fwy from xDD such ^-^ gentwe 
lambs 
xDD And ^-^ thwow them uWu in x3 the entwaiws of x3 the OwO wowf? 
x3 When :33 didst xDD thou :33 sweep when xDD such :3 a ^.^ deed UwU was done? 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. x3 When >w< howy ÚwÚ Hawwy died, ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 sweet 
OwO son. 
DUCHESS. Dead :3 wife, ^w^ bwind UwU sight, poor >w< mowtaw UwU wiving ;;w;; ghost, 
OwO Woe's :33 scenye, OwO wowwd's UwU shame, grave's >_< due ^.^ by >w< wife usuwp'd, 
:3 Bwief abstract ÚwÚ and xDD wecowd of tedious uWu days, 
xDD West >w< thy xDD unwest on Engwand's ÚwÚ wawfuw earth, [Sitting down] 
:3 Unwawfuwwy UwU made UwU dwunk with innocent blood. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. xDD Ah, :3 that xDD thou wouldst >_< as >w< soon UwU affowd :3 a 
:3 gwave 
;;w;; As xDD thou ;;w;; canst yield :3 a ^-^ mewanchowy ^.^ seat! 
UwU Then ^.^ wouwd UwU I hide x3 my xDD bonyes, nyot xDD west them hewe. 
xDD Ah, who hath xDD any cause to mouwn >_> but uWu we? 
[Sitting down ^.^ by :3 hew] 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. [Coming forward] ;;w;; If UwU ancient sorrow be 
UwU most wevewend, 
Give >_< minye x3 the ^-^ benyefit of senyiowy, 
xDD And wet x3 my griefs fwown on x3 the >w< uppew >w< hand. 
;;w;; If sorrow ^.^ can ^w^ admit uWu society, [Sitting down with ÚwÚ them] 
Teww ^-^ o'ew x3 youw :3 woes again ^.^ by >w< viewing ^w^ minye. 
UwU I xDD had >w< an Edwawd, >w< tiww :3 a Richard kill'd him; 
UwU I xDD had :3 a ^.^ husband, >w< tiww :3 a Richard kill'd :33 him: 
^.^ Thou >w< hadst >w< an Edwawd, >w< tiww :3 a Richard kill'd him; 
^.^ Thou >w< hadst :3 a ^.^ Wichawd, >w< tiww :3 a Richard kill'd ^.^ him. 
DUCHESS. UwU I xDD had :3 a Richard :3 too, ÚwÚ and xDD thou :33 didst OwO kiww him; 
UwU I xDD had :3 a Rutland :3 too, xDD thou x3 howp'st to OwO kiww ^.^ him. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ^.^ Thou >w< hadst :3 a >_> Cwawence :3 too, ÚwÚ and Richard 
kill'd ^.^ him. 
Fwom fowth x3 the kennel of >w< thy womb hath x3 cwept 
^-^ A hell-hound :3 that xDD doth OwO hunt >_> us aww to death. 
:33 That dog, :3 that xDD had :33 his teeth >w< befowe :33 his eyes 
;;w;; To ^-^ wowwy lambs ÚwÚ and wap uWu theiw ^-^ gentwe bwood, 
:33 That fouw defacew of >_> God's ;;w;; handiwowk, 
:33 That :3 excewwent grand tyrant of x3 the ^.^ eawth 
:33 That OwO weigns uWu in galled eyes of weeping souws, 
x3 Thy womb wet ;;w;; woose to OwO chase >_> us to UwU ouw UwU gwaves. 
x3 O upright, >_< just, ÚwÚ and ^w^ twue-disposing :33 God, 
How UwU do UwU I >_> thank uWu thee :3 that ÚwÚ this xDD cawnyaw cur 
uWu Pweys on x3 the x3 issue of :33 his ;;w;; mothew's >w< body 
xDD And x3 makes her pew-fewwow with OwO othews' moan! 
DUCHESS. x3 O Harry's :3 wife, twiumph nyot uWu in x3 my >w< woes! 
^w^ God >_> witnyess with uWu me, UwU I uWu have :33 wept fow ÚwÚ thinye. 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. ÚwÚ Beaw with OwO me; UwU I ^w^ am hungwy fow UwU wevenge, 
xDD And nyow UwU I cwoy ;;w;; me with beholding :3 it. 
x3 Thy Edward ^.^ he >_> is >_< dead, :3 that kill'd x3 my >_< Edwawd; 
uWu The othew Edward >_< dead, to ^.^ quit x3 my >_< Edwawd; 
Young York ^.^ he >_> is >_> but UwU boot, uWu because both ;;w;; they 
;;w;; Match'd nyot x3 the xDD high pewfection of x3 my loss. 
x3 Thy >_> Cwawence ^.^ he >_> is >_< dead :3 that stabb'd x3 my >_< Edwawd; 
xDD And x3 the x3 behowdews of ÚwÚ this frantic ^.^ pway, 
xDD Th' ÚwÚ aduwtewate >w< Hastings, Rivers, ^-^ Vaughan, Gwey, 
>_< Untimewy smother'd uWu in uWu theiw ÚwÚ dusky UwU gwaves. 
Richard yet lives, ^-^ heww's black >_> intewwigencew; 
Onwy reserv'd uWu theiw factow to UwU buy >w< souws 
xDD And >_> send them xDD thithew. OwO But uWu at uWu hand, uWu at uWu hand, 
;;w;; Ensues :33 his ^.^ piteous ÚwÚ and uWu unpitied OwO end. 
Eawth :3 gapes, heww buwns, >w< fiends :33 woaw, ^-^ saints pray, 
;;w;; To uWu have ^.^ him ;;w;; suddenwy ;;w;; convey'd from x3 hence. 
Cancew :33 his :3 bond of :3 wife, uWu deaw :33 God, UwU I pray, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and >_> say 'The dog >_> is >w< dead.' 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_< O, xDD thou :33 didst >w< pwophesy x3 the time ^.^ wouwd 
come 
:33 That UwU I >_> shouwd ÚwÚ wish fow uWu thee to OwO hewp ;;w;; me UwU cuwse 
:33 That >_> bottwed spider, :3 that fouw >_> bunch-back'd :3 toad! 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. UwU I Call'd uWu thee xDD then :33 vain :33 fwouwish of x3 my 
^-^ fowtunye; 
UwU I ^w^ caww'd uWu thee xDD then poor xDD shadow, painted queen, 
uWu The presentation of >_> but >_> what UwU I UwU was, 
uWu The flattering >_< index of :3 a ^.^ diwefuw ^.^ pageant, 
x3 Onye ^.^ heav'd ^-^ a-high to be hurl'd down bewow, 
^-^ A mothew >w< onwy mock'd with >w< two >w< faiw uWu babes, 
^-^ A dweam of >_> what xDD thou OwO wast, :3 a ^w^ gawish flag 
;;w;; To be x3 the aim of every uWu dangewous shot, 
^-^ A xDD sign of UwU dignyity, :3 a :33 bweath, :3 a >_< bubbwe, 
^-^ A >_< queen uWu in ^.^ jest, >w< onwy to ^w^ fiww x3 the ;;w;; scenye. 
Whewe >_> is >w< thy :33 husband ^.^ nyow? Whewe be >w< thy bwothews? 
Whewe be >w< thy >w< two sons? ^-^ Whewein dost xDD thou ;;w;; joy? 
Who UwU sues, ÚwÚ and xDD knyeews, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; says >w< 'God :3 save x3 the OwO Queen'? 
Whewe be x3 the x3 bending peews :3 that fwattewed thee? 
Whewe be x3 the ^-^ thwonging troops :3 that fowwowed thee? 
>_< Decwinye >w< an uWu this, ÚwÚ and >_> see >_> what nyow xDD thou ÚwÚ awt: 
For ^w^ happy :3 wife, :3 a UwU most distwessed widow; 
For >w< joyfuw :33 mothew, one :3 that ^-^ waiws x3 the UwU nyame; 
For one ^.^ being x3 su'd ^.^ to, one :3 that x3 humbwy >_< sues; 
For :3 Queen, :3 a xDD vewy ^.^ caitiff cwown'd with ;;w;; cawe; 
For ^.^ she :3 that >_< scown'd uWu at uWu me, nyow >_< scown'd of OwO me; 
For ^.^ she ^.^ being feaw'd of all, nyow feawing onye; 
For ^.^ she uWu commanding all, obey'd of none. 
^-^ Thus hath x3 the course of justice x3 whiww'd about 
xDD And left uWu thee >_> but :3 a xDD vewy prey to time, 
>_> Having nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but xDD thought of >_> what xDD thou >w< wast 
;;w;; To towtuwe uWu thee x3 the >_> mowe, ^.^ being >_> what xDD thou art. 
^.^ Thou :33 didst usuwp x3 my pwace, ÚwÚ and dost xDD thou nyot 
^-^ Usuwp x3 the >w< just :33 pwopowtion of x3 my uWu sowwow? 
Now >w< thy OwO pwoud x3 nyeck bears half x3 my ^w^ buwden'd uWu yoke, 
Fwom which even OwO hewe UwU I swip x3 my ÚwÚ weawy >_> head 
xDD And OwO weave x3 the buwden of >w< it aww on thee. 
UwU Faweweww, >w< Yowk's :3 wife, ÚwÚ and >_< queen of >_> sad ÚwÚ mischance; 
;;w;; These :3 Engwish :3 woes UwU shaww >_< make ;;w;; me ;;w;; smiwe uWu in Fwance. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. x3 O xDD thou weww ;;w;; skiww'd uWu in curses, xDD stay ^-^ awhiwe 
xDD And >_< teach ;;w;; me >w< how to UwU cuwse >_< minye enemies! 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. OwO Fowbeaw to :33 sweep x3 the nyights, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fast x3 the 
days; 
UwU Compawe >_< dead happinyess with UwU wiving >w< woe; 
^w^ Think :3 that >w< thy babes :3 wewe ^w^ sweetew than ;;w;; they uWu wewe, 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that >_< swew them fouwew than ^.^ he >w< is. 
>_< Bett'wing >w< thy ^-^ woss x3 makes x3 the bad-causer ÚwÚ wowse; 
Revolving ÚwÚ this xDD wiww >_< teach uWu thee >w< how to cuwse. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. OwO My wowds OwO awe dull; >_< O, ^w^ quicken them 
with thine! 
>w< QUEEN UwU MAWGAWET. x3 Thy :3 woes xDD wiww >_< make them ^-^ shawp ÚwÚ and 
xDD piewce ^.^ wike ^w^ minye. uWu Exit 
DUCHESS. Why >_> shouwd ^-^ cawamity be xDD fun of xDD wowds? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_> Windy attorneys to uWu theiw :33 cwient :33 woes, 
^w^ Aiwy OwO succeedews of uWu intestate joys, 
OwO Poow :33 bweathing orators of miseries, 
Let them uWu have >_> scope; ^w^ though >_> what ;;w;; they xDD wiww OwO impawt 
^-^ Hewp >_< nyothing else, yet UwU do ;;w;; they case x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 
DUCHESS. ;;w;; If >_> so, xDD then be nyot >_< tongue-tied. Go with uWu me, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the UwU bweath of UwU bittew wowds >_> wet's >w< smothew 
OwO My uWu damnyed >_< son :3 that >w< thy >w< two x3 sweet xDD sons >w< smothew'd. 
uWu The ÚwÚ twumpet uWu sounds; be >w< copious uWu in uWu excwaims. 

Entew ;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD ÚwÚ and :33 his twain, ^.^ mawching with 
xDD dwums ÚwÚ and trumpets 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Who >_< intewcepts ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my ^w^ expedition? 
DUCHESS. >_< O, ^.^ she :3 that ^w^ might uWu have ^-^ intewcepted ÚwÚ thee, 
^-^ By >w< stwangwing uWu thee uWu in her ^w^ accuwsed womb, 
Fwom aww x3 the slaughters, :3 wwetch, :3 that xDD thou x3 hast uWu donye! 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_< Hidest xDD thou :3 that forehead with :3 a golden 
>_< cwown 
Where't >_> shouwd be uWu bwanded, >_> if :3 that >w< wight :3 wewe wight, 
uWu The >_> swaughtew of x3 the Prince :3 that uWu ow'd :3 that :3 cwown, 
xDD And x3 the xDD diwe :33 death of x3 my poor xDD sons ÚwÚ and bwothews? 
Teww uWu me, xDD thou viwwain :33 swave, :3 whewe OwO awe x3 my :33 chiwdwen? 
DUCHESS. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; toad, xDD thou ;;w;; toad, :3 whewe >_> is >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew 
x3 Cwawence? 
xDD And xDD wittwe Nyed Pwantagenyet, :33 his uWu son? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Whewe >_> is x3 the ^-^ gentwe Rivers, ^-^ Vaughan, 
Grey? 
DUCHESS. Whewe >_> is uWu kind ÚwÚ Hastings? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ A flourish, ÚwÚ twumpets! OwO Stwike >_> awawum, >_< dwums! 
Let nyot x3 the heavens hear these tell-tale x3 women 
Rail on x3 the Lord's anointed. UwU Stwike, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
[Flourish. :33 Awawums] 
^-^ Eithew be patient ÚwÚ and entweat ;;w;; me faiw, 
:33 Ow with x3 the ;;w;; cwamowous wepowt of >w< waw 
^-^ Thus xDD wiww UwU I x3 dwown x3 youw exclamations. 
DUCHESS. Awt xDD thou x3 my uWu son? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Ay, UwU I >_> thank :33 God, x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and OwO youwsewf. 
DUCHESS. UwU Then x3 patientwy hear x3 my :3 impatience. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu Madam, UwU I uWu have :3 a :33 touch of x3 youw condition 
:33 That ;;w;; cannyot >w< bwook x3 the xDD accent of reproof. 
DUCHESS. >_< O, wet ;;w;; me ^w^ speak! 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Do, :33 then; >_> but I'll nyot heaw. 
DUCHESS. UwU I xDD wiww be >_< miwd ÚwÚ and ^-^ gentwe uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ wowds. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD And ^-^ bwief, ÚwÚ good mothew; fow UwU I ^w^ am uWu in ^.^ haste. 
DUCHESS. Awt xDD thou UwU so ^-^ hasty? UwU I uWu have OwO stay'd fow ÚwÚ thee, 
^w^ God ;;w;; knyows, uWu in x3 towment ÚwÚ and uWu in uWu agony. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD And ^-^ came UwU I nyot uWu at >w< wast to uWu comfowt you? 
DUCHESS. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 the >w< howy rood, xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st >w< it weww 
^.^ Thou xDD cam'st on ^.^ eawth to >_< make x3 the ^.^ eawth x3 my uWu heww. 
^-^ A ;;w;; gwievous buwden UwU was >w< thy birth to OwO me; 
^-^ Tetchy ÚwÚ and :33 waywawd UwU was >w< thy >w< infancy; 
x3 Thy >_> schoow-days ^.^ fwightfuw, desp'rate, ^w^ wiwd, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fuwious; 
x3 Thy prime of manhood daring, >w< bowd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ ventuwous; 
x3 Thy age confiwm'd, :3 pwoud, ^.^ subtwe, sly, ÚwÚ and x3 bwoody, 
uWu Mowe OwO miwd, >_> but yet ^.^ mowe harmful-kind uWu in hatwed. 
>_> What >w< comfowtabwe >_> houw ;;w;; canst xDD thou xDD nyame 
:33 That OwO evew ÚwÚ gwac'd ;;w;; me with >w< thy :3 company? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Faith, >_< nyonye >_> but Humphrey :33 Houw, :3 that ^w^ caww'd 
x3 youw Gwace 
;;w;; To OwO bweakfast >_> once fowth of x3 my UwU company. 
;;w;; If UwU I be UwU so disgracious uWu in x3 youw >_< eye, 
Let ;;w;; me :33 mawch on ÚwÚ and nyot ^-^ offend UwU you, UwU madam. 
OwO Stwike x3 up x3 the dwum. 
DUCHESS. UwU I :33 pwithee hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> You speak ^w^ too ^.^ bittewwy. 
DUCHESS. >w< Heaw ;;w;; me :3 a wowd; 
For UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew speak to uWu thee ;;w;; again. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^w^ So. 
DUCHESS. ^-^ Eithew xDD thou wiwt ^-^ die ^.^ by >_> God's >w< just ordinance 
Ere from ÚwÚ this >w< waw xDD thou turn :3 a conqueror; 
:33 Ow UwU I with grief ÚwÚ and extweme age UwU shaww xDD pewish 
xDD And >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe behowd >w< thy OwO face ;;w;; again. 
Therefore OwO take with uWu thee x3 my UwU most ;;w;; gwievous cuwse, 
>_< Which uWu in x3 the day of ÚwÚ battwe tire uWu thee ^.^ mowe 
Than aww x3 the complete ^-^ awmouw :3 that xDD thou weaw'st! 
OwO My >_< pwayews on x3 the advewse party fight; 
xDD And there x3 the xDD wittwe >w< souws of >_< Edwawd's x3 chiwdwen 
ÚwÚ Whispew x3 the ;;w;; spiwits of ^.^ thinye >_< enyemies 
xDD And promise them >w< success ÚwÚ and ^.^ victowy. 
:3 Bwoody xDD thou awt; bwoody xDD wiww be >w< thy OwO end. 
Shame sewves >w< thy >w< wife ÚwÚ and xDD doth >w< thy :33 death xDD attend. uWu Exit 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ;;w;; Though uWu faw ^.^ mowe >_< cause, yet much less 
^w^ spiwit to UwU cuwse 
Abides uWu in OwO me; UwU I >_> say ^-^ amen to her. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Stay, UwU madam, UwU I ^w^ must tawk :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. UwU I uWu have nyo ^-^ moe xDD sons of x3 the royal :3 bwood 
For uWu thee to :3 swaughtew. For x3 my ^w^ daughtews, ^.^ Wichawd, 
^-^ They UwU shaww be :3 pwaying nyuns, nyot weeping queens; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe ^w^ wevew nyot to ;;w;; hit uWu theiw ^.^ wives. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> You uWu have :3 a daughter ^w^ caww'd Ewizabeth. 
Viwtuous ÚwÚ and faiw, royal ÚwÚ and gracious. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. xDD And ^w^ must ^.^ she ^-^ die fow :3 this? >_< O, wet her 
x3 wive, 
xDD And I'll corrupt her :3 mannyews, stain her >w< beauty, 
Slander mysewf >_< as UwU fawse to >_< Edwawd's ^.^ bed, 
Throw uvw her x3 the veiw of ^w^ infamy; 
^w^ So ^.^ she OwO may ^w^ wive unscarr'd of xDD bweeding slaughter, 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 confess ^.^ she UwU was nyot >_< Edwawd's >w< daughtew. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Wwong nyot her birth; ^.^ she >_> is :3 a royal 
>_> Pwincess. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ;;w;; To :3 save her >w< wife I'll >_> say ^.^ she >_> is nyot :3 so. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :3 Hew >w< wife >_> is >_< safest >w< onwy uWu in her xDD biwth. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. xDD And >w< onwy uWu in :3 that :33 safety >w< died her 
brothers. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Lo, uWu at uWu theiw birth ÚwÚ good stars :3 wewe UwU opposite. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. :3 Nyo, to uWu theiw ;;w;; wives :33 iww ^w^ fwiends :3 wewe 
^.^ contwawy. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. All >w< unyavoided >_> is x3 the >_< doom of >_> destiny. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_< Twue, when avoided xDD gwace x3 makes >_> destiny. 
OwO My babes :3 wewe ^w^ destin'd to :3 a fairer UwU death, 
;;w;; If xDD gwace xDD had uWu bwess'd uWu thee with :3 a fairer life. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> You speak >_< as >_> if :3 that UwU I xDD had :3 swain x3 my >_> cousins. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. uWu Cousins, :33 indeed; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by uWu theiw :33 uncwe 
OwO cozen'd 
Of comfort, :33 kingdom, ;;w;; kindwed, ^w^ fweedom, life. 
>_< Whose uWu hand ^-^ soevew lanc'd uWu theiw xDD tendew hearts, 
x3 Thy head, >w< an :33 indiwectwy, uWu gave diwection. 
No doubt x3 the OwO muwd'wous knyife UwU was dull ÚwÚ and >w< bwunt 
Tiww >w< it UwU was uWu whetted on >w< thy >_> stonye-hawd >_< heawt 
;;w;; To ^w^ wevew uWu in x3 the entwaiws of x3 my OwO wambs. 
OwO But :3 that OwO stiff use of grief x3 makes >w< wiwd grief tame, 
OwO My >_> tongue >_> shouwd to >w< thy OwO eaws nyot xDD nyame x3 my >_< boys 
Tiww :3 that x3 my >_< nyaiws :3 wewe :3 anchow'd uWu in ^.^ thinye eyes; 
xDD And I, uWu in xDD such :3 a desp'wate ^w^ bay of UwU death, 
Wike :3 a poor bawk, of sails ÚwÚ and >w< tackwing uWu weft, 
Rush aww to uWu pieces on >w< thy rocky ÚwÚ bosom. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu Madam, UwU so x3 thwive UwU I uWu in x3 my uWu entewpwise 
xDD And uWu dangewous >w< success of bwoody ^-^ waws, 
;;w;; As UwU I intend ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ good to xDD you ÚwÚ and >_> youws 
Than OwO evew xDD you ow >_> youws ^.^ by ;;w;; me :3 wewe ^.^ hawm'd! 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_> What ÚwÚ good >_> is cover'd with x3 the OwO face of 
^.^ heaven, 
;;w;; To be ^.^ discuvw'd, :3 that ^.^ can UwU do ;;w;; me good? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. advancement of x3 youw chiwdwen, ^-^ gentwe 
>_> wady. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Up to x3 some scaffold, there to wose uWu theiw 
^.^ heads? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu Unto x3 the dignity ÚwÚ and height of ÚwÚ Fowtunye, 
uWu The xDD high ÚwÚ impewiaw OwO type of ÚwÚ this :33 eawth's glory. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. UwU Fwattew x3 my sorrow with wepowt of uWu it; 
Teww ;;w;; me >_> what state, >_> what UwU dignyity, >_> what honyouw, 
ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou uWu demise to xDD any chiwd of mine? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Even aww UwU I x3 have-ay, ÚwÚ and mysewf ÚwÚ and aww 
Will UwU I withal ;;w;; endow :3 a chiwd of thine; 
^w^ So uWu in x3 the ^w^ Wethe of >w< thy angry :3 souw 
^.^ Thou x3 dwown x3 the >_> sad wemembwance of UwU those >_< wwongs 
>_< Which xDD thou xDD supposest UwU I uWu have donye to thee. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^w^ Be ^-^ bwief, xDD west :3 that x3 the xDD pwocess of >w< thy 
OwO kindnyess 
UwU Wast longer :3 tewwing than >w< thy xDD kindnyess' >_> date. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Then knyow, :3 that from x3 my :3 souw UwU I wuv >w< thy 
>w< daughtew. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. OwO My ^w^ daughtew's mothew ^w^ thinks >w< it with her 
^-^ souw. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> What UwU do xDD you x3 think? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. :33 That xDD thou dost wuv x3 my daughter from 
>w< thy ^-^ souw. 
^w^ So from >w< thy x3 souw's wuv :33 didst xDD thou wuv her OwO bwothews, 
xDD And from x3 my heart's wuv UwU I UwU do >_> thank uWu thee fow :3 it. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^w^ Be nyot UwU so >_> hasty to confound x3 my meanying. 
UwU I >_> mean :3 that with x3 my :3 souw UwU I wuv >w< thy daughter 
xDD And UwU do intend to >_< make her xDD Queen of ^w^ Engwand. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. xDD Weww, >w< then, who dost xDD thou >_> mean UwU shaww be 
her UwU king? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Even ^.^ he :3 that x3 makes her ÚwÚ Queen. Who >_> ewse 
>_> shouwd :3 be? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. What, thou? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Even :3 so. How think xDD you of :33 it? 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. How ;;w;; canst xDD thou ^.^ woo OwO hew? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :33 That ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 weawn of UwU you, 
;;w;; As one ^.^ being best >_> acquainted with her humouw. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. xDD And wiwt xDD thou :3 weawn of me? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu Madam, with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_< Send to hew, ^.^ by x3 the x3 man :3 that >_< swew her 
OwO bwothews, 
^-^ A :33 paiw of xDD bweeding >_> heawts; theweon engwave 
:3 'Edwawd' ÚwÚ and OwO 'Yowk.' UwU Then haply xDD wiww ^.^ she ^.^ weep; 
Therefore xDD pwesent to x3 hew-as x3 sometimes Margaret 
Did to >w< thy ÚwÚ fathew, uWu steep'd uWu in >_< Wutwand's blood- 
^-^ A xDD handkewchief; ^w^ which, >_> say to hew, uWu did >_< dwain 
uWu The puwpwe sap from her x3 sweet brother's ;;w;; body, 
xDD And bid her xDD wipe her weeping eyes uWu withaw. 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this x3 inducement move her nyot to xDD wuv, 
>_< Send her :3 a >_> wettew of >w< thy x3 nyobwe ^-^ deeds; 
Teww her xDD thou ;;w;; mad'st OwO away her :33 uncwe >w< Cwawence, 
:3 Hew :33 uncwe >_> Wivews; :33 ay, ÚwÚ and fow her ÚwÚ sake 
^-^ Mad'st ^w^ quick :33 conveyance with her ÚwÚ good >_< aunt ÚwÚ Annye. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> You ÚwÚ mock uWu me, x3 madam; ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot x3 the uWu way 
;;w;; To x3 win x3 youw >w< daughtew. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo othew way; 
OwO Unwess xDD thou ^w^ couwdst put on x3 some othew xDD shape 
xDD And nyot be Richard :3 that hath donye aww UwU this. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 Say :3 that UwU I uWu did aww ÚwÚ this fow wuv of her. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Nyay, xDD then ÚwÚ indeed ^.^ she ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but 
^-^ hate ÚwÚ thee, 
>_> Having xDD bought wuv with xDD such :3 a bwoody spoil. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Wook >_> what >_> is donye ;;w;; cannyot be nyow ^w^ amended. 
OwO Men UwU shaww deal unadvisedly >_< sometimes, 
>_< Which aftew-houws ;;w;; gives leisure to wepent. 
;;w;; If UwU I uWu did OwO take x3 the ^w^ kingdom from x3 youw sons, 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 amends I'll UwU give >w< it to x3 youw >w< daughtew. 
;;w;; If UwU I uWu have kill'd x3 the x3 issue of x3 youw womb, 
;;w;; To ^w^ quicken x3 youw incwease UwU I xDD wiww x3 beget 
Mine x3 issue of x3 youw :3 bwood ;;w;; upon x3 youw >w< daughtew. 
^-^ A >_> gwandam's xDD nyame >_> is xDD wittwe less uWu in wuv 
Than >_> is x3 the doating ;;w;; titwe of :3 a mothew; 
^-^ They OwO awe >_< as x3 chiwdwen >_> but one :33 step bewow, 
Even of x3 youw :33 metaw, of x3 youw xDD vewy ^-^ bwood; 
Of aww one UwU pain, :3 save fow :3 a >w< nyight of groans 
OwO Enduw'd of hew, fow ÚwÚ whom xDD you bid ^.^ wike ;;w;; sowwow. 
uWu Youw x3 chiwdwen :3 wewe uWu vexation to x3 youw uWu youth; 
OwO But >_< minye UwU shaww be :3 a uWu comfowt to x3 youw age. 
uWu The ^-^ woss xDD you uWu have >_> is >_> but :3 a >_< son ^.^ being OwO King, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 that ^-^ woss x3 youw daughter >_> is UwU made ÚwÚ Queen. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_< make xDD you >_> what x3 amends UwU I :3 wouwd, 
Therefore xDD accept xDD such OwO kindnyess >_< as UwU I ;;w;; can. 
Dorset x3 youw x3 son, :3 that with :3 a x3 feawfuw :3 souw 
Weads >_> discontented steps uWu in :33 foweign ^w^ soiw, 
This >w< faiw alliance quickly UwU shaww ^.^ can ^.^ home 
;;w;; To xDD high promotions ÚwÚ and great UwU dignyity. 
uWu The OwO King, :3 that ;;w;; cawws x3 youw beauteous daughter :3 wife, 
Familiarly UwU shaww caww >w< thy Dorset bwothew; 
^.^ Again UwU shaww xDD you be mothew to :3 a OwO king, 
xDD And aww x3 the ruins of distressful times 
^w^ Wepaiw'd with :3 doubwe ^w^ wiches of OwO content. 
What! ^.^ we uWu have UwU many xDD goodwy OwO days to ^-^ see. 
uWu The OwO wiquid ^.^ dwops of tears :3 that xDD you uWu have x3 shed 
Shall come OwO again, ^.^ twansfowm'd to x3 owient >_> peaww, 
:33 Advantaging uWu theiw ^w^ woan with ÚwÚ intewest 
Of ;;w;; ten times :3 doubwe ^.^ gain of ÚwÚ happinyess. 
^w^ Go, >w< then, x3 my :33 mothew, to >w< thy daughter go; 
^-^ Make bold her ^-^ bashfuw years with x3 youw expewience; 
Pwepawe her OwO eaws to hear :3 a ^.^ wooew's tale; 
>_> Put uWu in her xDD tendew >_< heawt x3 th' ;;w;; aspiwing fwame 
Of golden >_< suvweignty; >w< acquaint x3 the Princes 
With x3 the x3 sweet silent >_> houws of ^.^ mawwiage joys. 
xDD And when ÚwÚ this awm of >_< minye hath ;;w;; chastised 
uWu The petty xDD webew, UwU duww-bwain'd ;;w;; Buckingham, 
^.^ Bound with x3 twiumphant gawwands xDD wiww UwU I come, 
xDD And lead >w< thy daughter to :3 a :33 conquewow's bed; 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom UwU I xDD wiww x3 wetaiw x3 my conquest >_> won, 
xDD And ^.^ she UwU shaww be sole victoress, Caesar's Caesaw. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_> What :3 wewe UwU I best to ^.^ say? :3 Hew father's 
ÚwÚ bwothew 
Wouwd be her xDD wowd? :33 Ow UwU shaww UwU I >_> say her xDD uncwe? 
:33 Ow ^.^ he :3 that >_< swew her bwothews ÚwÚ and her uWu uncwes? 
;;w;; Undew >_> what ;;w;; titwe UwU shaww UwU I ^.^ woo fow uWu thee 
:33 That :33 God, x3 the waw, x3 my honyouw, ÚwÚ and her wuv 
UwU Can >_< make xDD seem pweasing to her xDD tendew years? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :33 Infew >w< faiw Engwand's uWu peace ^.^ by ÚwÚ this alliance. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_< Which ^.^ she UwU shaww puwchase with 
>_> stiww-wasting waw. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Teww her x3 the OwO King, :3 that OwO may >_> command, 
:3 entweats. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. :33 That uWu at her ^.^ hands which x3 the >_< King's 
^w^ King ^-^ fowbids. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 Say ^.^ she UwU shaww be :3 a xDD high ÚwÚ and ^-^ mighty >w< queen. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ;;w;; To waiw x3 the :3 titwe, >_< as her mothew UwU doth. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 Say UwU I xDD wiww wuv her :3 evewwastingwy. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. OwO But >w< how ^-^ wong UwU shaww :3 that ;;w;; titwe :33 'evew' last? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Sweetwy uWu in force >w< unto her >w< faiw ^w^ wife's OwO end. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. OwO But >w< how ^-^ wong ^.^ faiwwy UwU shaww her x3 sweet >w< wife 
last? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ;;w;; As ^-^ wong >_< as heaven ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> wengthens :3 it. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ;;w;; As ^-^ wong >_< as heww ÚwÚ and Richard likes of :3 it. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 Say I, her sovereign, ^w^ am her x3 subject wow. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. OwO But uWu she, x3 youw uWu subject, loathes xDD such 
suvweignty. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^w^ Be uWu ewoquent uWu in x3 my behawf to her. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^-^ An xDD honyest xDD tawe ;;w;; speeds best ^.^ being x3 pwainwy 
uWu towd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Then x3 pwainwy to her tell x3 my >w< woving ^-^ tawe. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ;;w;; Pwain ÚwÚ and nyot xDD honyest >_> is ^w^ too UwU hawsh :3 a UwU stywe. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu Youw weasons OwO awe ^w^ too shallow ÚwÚ and ^w^ too quick. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_< O, no, x3 my weasons OwO awe ^w^ too >_> deep ÚwÚ and 
>w< dead- 
Too >_> deep ÚwÚ and >_< dead, poor >_< infants, uWu in uWu theiw UwU gwaves. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Hawp nyot on :3 that :3 stwing, x3 madam; :3 that >_> is past. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Hawp on >w< it still UwU shaww UwU I >w< tiww heawtstwings 
*cuddles you* bweak. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my ;;w;; Geowge, x3 my UwU gawtew, ÚwÚ and x3 my 
^.^ cwown- 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^.^ Pwofan'd, >w< dishonyouw'd, ÚwÚ and x3 the thiwd 
OwO usuwp'd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU I ^.^ sweaw- 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ^-^ By uWu nyothing; fow ÚwÚ this >_> is nyo ^w^ oath: 
x3 Thy ;;w;; Geowge, x3 pwofan'd, hath wost :33 his >_> wowdwy honour; 
x3 Thy UwU gawtew, blemish'd, :3 pawn'd :33 his knyightwy UwU viwtue; 
x3 Thy :3 cwown, usuwp'd, x3 disgwac'd :33 his >_> kingwy glory. 
;;w;; If ^-^ something xDD thou wouldst >_< sweaw to be uWu bewiev'd, 
Swear xDD then ^.^ by ^-^ something :3 that xDD thou x3 hast nyot >_> wwong'd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Then, ^.^ by x3 my >w< sewf- 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. x3 Thy self >_> is :3 sewf-misus'd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the world- 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. 'Tis full of >w< thy fouw x3 wwongs. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. OwO My father's >w< death- 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. x3 Thy >w< wife hath >w< it dishonyouw'd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Why, >w< then, ^.^ by OwO God- 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. >_> God's wrong >_> is UwU most of all. 
;;w;; If xDD thou :33 didst feaw to bweak >w< an ^-^ oath with ^w^ Him, 
uWu The unyity x3 the ^w^ King x3 my :33 husband UwU made 
^.^ Thou >w< hadst nyot OwO bwoken, nor x3 my bwothews ÚwÚ died. 
;;w;; If xDD thou >w< hadst feaw'd to bweak >w< an ^-^ oath ^.^ by ^w^ Him, 
xDD Th' ÚwÚ impewiaw :33 metaw, circling nyow >w< thy head, 
xDD Had ÚwÚ gwac'd x3 the xDD tendew ^.^ tempwes of x3 my child; 
xDD And both x3 the Princes xDD had :33 been :33 bweathing UwU hewe, 
>_< Which now, >w< two xDD tendew xDD bedfewwows fow :33 dust, 
x3 Thy xDD bwoken :33 faith hath UwU made x3 the prey fow ÚwÚ wowms. 
>_> What ;;w;; canst xDD thou >_< sweaw ^.^ by ^.^ nyow? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu The time to x3 come. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. :33 That xDD thou x3 hast ;;w;; wwonged uWu in x3 the time 
>w< o'ewpast; 
For UwU I mysewf uWu have UwU many tears to >_< wash 
uWu Heweaftew time, fow time x3 past wrong'd ^.^ by thee. 
uWu The x3 chiwdwen ^w^ wive x3 whose uWu fathews xDD thou x3 hast uWu swaughtew'd, 
Ungovern'd youth, to waiw >w< it uWu in uWu theiw >_> age; 
uWu The parents ^w^ wive x3 whose x3 chiwdwen xDD thou x3 hast butcheed, 
^-^ Owd ^-^ bawwen plants, to waiw >w< it with uWu theiw age. 
Swear nyot ^.^ by time to >_< come; fow :3 that xDD thou x3 hast 
^.^ Misus'd ere >w< us'd, ^.^ by times ill-us'd :3 o'ewpast. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ;;w;; As UwU I intend to prosper ÚwÚ and repent, 
^w^ So x3 thwive UwU I uWu in x3 my uWu dangewous affairs 
Of >_> hostiwe >_> awms! xDD Mysewf mysewf confound! 
uWu Heaven ÚwÚ and :3 fowtunye ^-^ baw ;;w;; me ^w^ happy xDD houws! 
>_> Day, yield ;;w;; me nyot >w< thy >_> wight; nor, night, >w< thy west! 
^w^ Be opposite aww >_> pwanyets of ÚwÚ good luck 
;;w;; To x3 my ^w^ pwoceeding!-if, with uWu deaw heart's xDD wuv, 
Immaculate devotion, >w< howy thoughts, 
UwU I xDD tendew nyot >w< thy beauteous princely >w< daughtew. 
^w^ In her uWu consists x3 my happinyess ÚwÚ and thine; 
Without hew, xDD fowwows to mysewf ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ thee, 
x3 Hewsewf, x3 the land, ÚwÚ and UwU many :3 a Christian x3 souw, 
Death, desowation, >w< wuin, ÚwÚ and UwU decay. 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot be avoided >_> but ^.^ by >_< this; 
^.^ It xDD wiww nyot be avoided >_> but ^.^ by UwU this. 
>_< Thewefowe, uWu deaw mother-I ^w^ must caww xDD you OwO so- 
^w^ Be x3 the ^.^ attownyey of x3 my wuv to >w< hew; 
;;w;; Pwead >_> what UwU I xDD wiww be, nyot >_> what UwU I uWu have xDD been; 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 my UwU desewts, >_> but >_> what UwU I xDD wiww deserve. 
Uwge x3 the ;;w;; nyecessity ÚwÚ and >w< state of xDD times, 
xDD And be nyot peevish-fond uWu in great x3 designs. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Shall UwU I be tempted of x3 the ^.^ deviw >_< thus? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Ay, >_> if x3 the ^.^ deviw tempt xDD you to UwU do UwU good. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Shall UwU I x3 fowget mysewf to be myself? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Ay, >_> if x3 youw :3 sewf's wemembwance wrong 
OwO youwsewf. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. ÚwÚ Yet xDD thou :33 didst OwO kiww x3 my >_< chiwdwen. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. OwO But uWu in x3 youw ^w^ daughtew's womb UwU I ^.^ buwy OwO them; 
UwU Whewe, uWu in :3 that nyest of OwO spicewy, ;;w;; they xDD wiww breed 
Selves of ^.^ themsewves, to x3 youw recomforture. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. Shall UwU I OwO go x3 win x3 my daughter to >w< thy xDD wiww? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD And be :3 a ^w^ happy mothew ^.^ by x3 the UwU deed. 
>w< QUEEN x3 EWIZABETH. UwU I ÚwÚ go. :3 Wwite to ;;w;; me xDD vewy shortly, 
xDD And xDD you UwU shaww understand from ;;w;; me her :33 mind. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ÚwÚ Beaw her x3 my true love's >_< kiss; ÚwÚ and >_> so, farewell. 
Kissing her. uWu Exit >w< QUEEN ELIZABETH 
^.^ Wewenting x3 foow, ÚwÚ and ^w^ shawwow, :3 changing OwO woman! 

Entew ^w^ WATCWIFF; CATESBY fowwowing 

How >_< nyow! >_> what nyews? 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. :3 Most ^-^ mighty sovereign, on x3 the xDD westewn :3 coast 
:33 Wideth :3 a x3 puissant OwO nyavy; to UwU ouw uWu showes 
Thwong UwU many ^.^ doubtfuw UwU howwow-heawted OwO fwiends, 
OwO Unyawm'd, ÚwÚ and unresolv'd to xDD beat them back. 
'Tis xDD thought :3 that >_< Wichmond >_> is uWu theiw admiwaw; 
xDD And there ;;w;; they hull, expecting >_> but x3 the >_> aid 
Of ^-^ Buckingham to wewcome them ^.^ ashowe. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ;;w;; Some wight-foot :33 fwiend x3 post to x3 the >w< Duke of 
x3 Nyowfowk. 
;;w;; Watcwiff, ;;w;; thysewf-ow xDD Catesby; :3 whewe >_> is uWu he? 
UwU CATESBY. Here, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :33 Catesby, fwy to x3 the uWu Duke. 
UwU CATESBY. UwU I xDD wiww x3 my uWu wowd, with aww UwU convenyient ^.^ haste. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ;;w;; Watcwiff, come hithew. :33 Post to Sawisbuwy; 
x3 When xDD thou UwU com'st OwO thithew- :33 [To ^.^ CATESBY] Dull, 
uWu unmindfuww villain, 
Why UwU stay'st xDD thou UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and :33 go'st nyot to x3 the Duke? 
UwU CATESBY. ^.^ Fiwst, ^-^ mighty ^.^ wiege, tell ;;w;; me x3 youw Highness' x3 pweasuwe, 
>_> What from x3 youw Gwace UwU I UwU shaww ÚwÚ dewivew to ^.^ him. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_< O, ^-^ twue, ÚwÚ good ^w^ Catesby. x3 Bid ^.^ him wevy ^w^ stwaight 
uWu The ÚwÚ gweatest ÚwÚ stwength ÚwÚ and powew :3 that ^.^ he ^.^ can >_< make 
xDD And :3 meet ;;w;; me ;;w;; suddenwy uWu at Salisbury. 
UwU CATESBY. UwU I ÚwÚ go. uWu Exit 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. What, OwO may >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, UwU shaww UwU I UwU do uWu at :33 Sawisbuwy? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Why, >_> what wouldst xDD thou UwU do there >w< befowe UwU I 
>w< go? 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. uWu Youw >_> Highnyess told ;;w;; me UwU I >_> shouwd x3 post befowe. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. OwO My ^-^ mind >_> is x3 chang'd. 

Entew >w< WOWD STANLEY 

STANWEY, >_> what nyews with you? 
STANWEY. ^-^ Nyonye UwU good, x3 my ^.^ wiege, to uWu pwease xDD you with 
x3 the OwO heawing; 
x3 Nyow >_< nyonye UwU so :33 bad >_> but weww OwO may be ^.^ wepowted. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :3 Hoyday, :3 a widdwe! :3 nyeithew ÚwÚ good nor UwU bad! 
>_> What uWu nyeed'st xDD thou >w< wun UwU so UwU many >_< miwes about, 
x3 When xDD thou :33 mayest tell >w< thy xDD tawe x3 the ÚwÚ nyeawest >w< way? 
Once >_> mowe, >_> what nyews? 
STANWEY. >_< Wichmond >_> is on x3 the ;;w;; seas. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> Thewe wet ^.^ him >_< sink, ÚwÚ and be x3 the seas on x3 him! 
xDD White-wivew'd wunyagate, >_> what xDD doth ^.^ he OwO thewe? 
STANWEY. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, ^-^ mighty sovereign, >_> but ^.^ by ÚwÚ guess. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. xDD Weww, >_< as xDD you OwO guess? 
STANWEY. :33 Stiww'd x3 up ^.^ by x3 Dowset, ;;w;; Buckingham, ÚwÚ and ^w^ Mowton, 
>w< He x3 makes fow England OwO hewe to >_< cwaim x3 the crown. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Is x3 the >w< chaiw empty? Is x3 the xDD swowd x3 unsway'd? 
Is x3 the ^w^ King >_< dead, x3 the empire OwO unpossess'd? 
>_> What heir of York >_> is there ^.^ awive >_> but uWu we? 
xDD And who >_> is Engwand's ^w^ King >_> but great >w< Yowk's heir? 
UwU Then tell ;;w;; me >_> what x3 makes ^.^ he ;;w;; upon x3 the ;;w;; seas. 
STANWEY. OwO Unwess fow :3 that, x3 my ^.^ wiege, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ guess. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. OwO Unwess fow :3 that ^.^ he x3 comes to be x3 youw ^.^ wiege, 
>_> You ;;w;; cannyot guess ^-^ whewefowe x3 the Wewshman ^w^ comes. 
^.^ Thou wiwt ;;w;; wevowt ÚwÚ and fwy to :3 him, UwU I ;;w;; feaw. 
STANWEY. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; >_< thewefowe xDD mistwust ;;w;; me not. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Whewe >_> is >w< thy powew >w< then, to xDD beat ^.^ him back? 
Whewe be >w< thy tenyants ÚwÚ and >w< thy :33 fowwowews? 
^w^ Awe ;;w;; they nyot nyow ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD westewn >w< showe, 
x3 Safe-conducting x3 the ÚwÚ webews from uWu theiw >_> ships? 
STANWEY. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, x3 my ^w^ fwiends OwO awe uWu in x3 the nyowth. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 Cowd ^w^ fwiends to x3 me. >_> What UwU do ;;w;; they uWu in x3 the 
:33 nyowth, 
x3 When ;;w;; they >_> shouwd serve uWu theiw suvweign uWu in x3 the >w< west? 
STANWEY. ^-^ They uWu have nyot :33 been UwU commanded, ^-^ mighty ;;w;; King. 
>w< Pweaseth x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty to UwU give ;;w;; me weave, 
I'll muster x3 up x3 my ^w^ fwiends ÚwÚ and :3 meet x3 youw Gwace 
Whewe ÚwÚ and >_> what time x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty UwU shaww ÚwÚ pwease. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Ay, :33 ay, xDD thou wouldst be >_> gonye to ^w^ join with 
xDD Wichmond; 
OwO But I'll nyot :33 twust thee. 
STANWEY. :3 Most ^-^ mighty sovereign, 
>_> You uWu have nyo cause to howd x3 my ÚwÚ fwiendship doubtful. 
UwU I >_< nyevew UwU was nor >_< nyevew xDD wiww be >w< fawse. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^w^ Go, >w< then, ÚwÚ and muster ^.^ men. OwO But OwO weave x3 behind 
uWu Youw x3 son, ^w^ Geowge Stanwey. Wook x3 youw >_< heawt be OwO fiwm, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse :33 his xDD head's assurance >_> is >_> but frail. 
STANWEY. ^w^ So deal with ^.^ him >_< as UwU I ^-^ pwuv true to OwO you. uWu Exit 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My >_> gwacious sovereign, nyow uWu in x3 Devonshiwe, 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ by ^w^ fwiends ^w^ am weww >_> advewtised, 
Sir Edward Courtney ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ haughty OwO pwewate, 
>_> Bishop of >_< Exetew, :33 his :33 ewdew brother, 
With UwU many ^-^ moe uWu confedewates, OwO awe uWu in arms. 

Entew anyothew MESSENGEW 

^w^ SECOND x3 MESSENGEW. ^w^ In UwU Kent, x3 my ^.^ wiege, x3 the :3 Guiwfowds OwO awe uWu in 
arms; 
xDD And every >_> houw ^.^ mowe ^.^ competitows 
OwO Fwock to x3 the rebels, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw powew gwows strong. 

Entew anyothew MESSENGEW 

^w^ THIWD x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 the ^.^ awmy of great Buckingham- 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Out on UwU you, owws! Nyothing >_> but songs of 
UwU death? [He :33 stwikes >w< him] 
There, OwO take xDD thou :3 that >w< tiww xDD thou ;;w;; bwing xDD bettew ;;w;; nyews. 
^w^ THIWD x3 MESSENGEW. uWu The nyews UwU I uWu have to tell x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
Is :3 that ^.^ by ^.^ sudden xDD fwoods ÚwÚ and faww of watews 
OwO Buckingham's ^.^ awmy >_> is uWu dispews'd ÚwÚ and ^-^ scattew'd; 
xDD And ^.^ he >_< himsewf ^-^ wand'wed OwO away ^-^ awonye, 
No x3 man xDD knyows whither. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU I cwy uWu thee mercy. 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 my >_< puwse to >w< cuwe :3 that ^w^ bwow of ÚwÚ thinye. 
>_< Hath xDD any UwU weww-advised :33 fwiend proclaim'd 
Reward to ^.^ him :3 that >_< bwings x3 the traitor in? 
^w^ THIWD x3 MESSENGEW. >w< Such pwocwamation hath :33 been made, 
x3 my Lord. 

Entew anyothew MESSENGEW 

;;w;; FOUWTH x3 MESSENGEW. Sir Thomas Lovel ÚwÚ and Lord ^w^ Mawquis 
x3 Dowset, 
'Tis said, x3 my ^.^ wiege, uWu in ^.^ Yowkshiwe OwO awe uWu in arms. 
OwO But ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good uWu comfowt ;;w;; bwing UwU I to x3 youw :3 Highnyess- 
uWu The >_< Bwitainye >_< nyavy >_> is uWu dispews'd ^.^ by ;;w;; tempest. 
>_< Wichmond uWu in x3 Dowsetshiwe sent x3 out :3 a ^.^ boat 
uWu Unto x3 the >w< showe, to ^w^ ask UwU those on x3 the uWu banks 
;;w;; If ;;w;; they :3 wewe :33 his xDD assistants, >w< yea ow ^.^ nyo; 
Who x3 answew'd ^.^ him ;;w;; they ^-^ came from ^-^ Buckingham 
>_> Upon :33 his pawty. ^-^ He, ^.^ mistwusting ÚwÚ them, 
Hois'd sail, ÚwÚ and UwU made :33 his course again fow OwO Bwitainye. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. March ;;w;; on, :33 mawch ;;w;; on, xDD since ^.^ we OwO awe x3 up uWu in 
arms; 
;;w;; If nyot to >w< fight with :33 foweign UwU enyemies, 
ÚwÚ Yet to xDD beat down these ÚwÚ webews OwO hewe uWu at >_> home. 

^.^ We-entew CATESBY 

UwU CATESBY. OwO My ^.^ wiege, x3 the >w< Duke of ^-^ Buckingham >_> is :3 taken- 
:33 That >_> is x3 the best ;;w;; nyews. :33 That x3 the ^-^ Eaww of >_< Wichmond 
Is with :3 a ^-^ mighty powew landed uWu at Miwfowd 
Is ^-^ cowdew :3 tidings, yet ;;w;; they ^w^ must be uWu towd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Away uWu towawds ^-^ Sawisbuwy! While ^.^ we reason 
OwO hewe 
^-^ A royal ÚwÚ battwe ^w^ might be ^.^ won ÚwÚ and :3 wost. 
;;w;; Some one OwO take order ^-^ Buckingham be ^.^ bwought 
;;w;; To Sawisbuwy; x3 the xDD west :33 mawch on with x3 me. 
>w< Fwouwish. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE 5. 

>w< WOWD >w< DEWBY'S ;;w;; house 

Entew STANLEY ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW CHRISTOPHER x3 UWSWICK 

STANWEY. Sir UwU Chwistophew, tell >_< Wichmond ÚwÚ this from ;;w;; me: 
:33 That uWu in x3 the >w< sty of x3 the UwU most deadwy boar 
OwO My >_< son ^w^ Geowge Stanwey >_> is frank'd x3 up uWu in howd; 
;;w;; If UwU I >_> wevowt, x3 off xDD goes xDD young George's head; 
uWu The feaw of :3 that ÚwÚ howds x3 off x3 my xDD pwesent OwO aid. 
So, get uWu thee xDD gonye; ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to >w< thy OwO wowd. 
Withaw >_> say :3 that x3 the xDD Queen hath UwU heawtiwy :3 consented 
>w< He >_> shouwd espouse ^w^ Ewizabeth her >w< daughtew. 
OwO But tell uWu me, :3 whewe >_> is princely >_< Wichmond ^.^ nyow? 
OwO CHWISTOPHEW. At UwU Pembwoke, ow uWu at Ha'wfowd xDD west uWu in Wales. 
STANWEY. >_> What ;;w;; men of xDD nyame xDD wesowt to him? 
OwO CHWISTOPHEW. Sir Wawtew Herbert, :3 a uWu wenyownyed UwU sowdiew; 
ÚwÚ SIW ^w^ Giwbewt Talbot, Sir ;;w;; Wiwwiam ^-^ Stanwey, 
^-^ OXFOWD, wedoubted UwU Pembwoke, Sir ;;w;; James Bwunt, 
xDD And >_< Wice ^.^ ap Thomas, with :3 a uWu vawiant ^-^ cwew; 
xDD And UwU many othew of great xDD nyame ÚwÚ and wowth; 
xDD And uWu towawds ;;w;; Wondon UwU do ;;w;; they >w< bend uWu theiw x3 powew, 
;;w;; If ^.^ by x3 the uWu way ;;w;; they be nyot ÚwÚ fought uWu withaw. 
STANWEY. xDD Weww, hie uWu thee to >w< thy wowd; UwU I :3 kiss :33 his xDD hand; 
OwO My >_> wettew xDD wiww wesowve ^.^ him of x3 my :33 mind. 
uWu Faweweww. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 

Salisbury. ^-^ An open :33 pwace 

Entew x3 the SHERIFF ÚwÚ and guawd, with xDD BUCKINGHAM, x3 wed to :33 execution 

OwO BUCKINGHAM. Will nyot ^w^ King Richard wet ;;w;; me speak with 
him? 
SHERIFF. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; >_< thewefowe be uWu patient. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. >w< Hastings, ÚwÚ and >_< Edwawd's chiwdwen, Gwey, ÚwÚ and 
Rivers, 
Holy ^w^ King Henry, ÚwÚ and >w< thy >w< faiw >_< son Edwawd, 
^-^ Vaughan, ÚwÚ and aww :3 that uWu have ^-^ miscawwied 
^-^ By undewhand cowwupted fouw ^w^ injustice, 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 youw moody >_> discontented >w< souws 
Do ^w^ thwough x3 the :33 cwouds behowd ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent ^-^ houw, 
Even fow xDD wevenge ÚwÚ mock x3 my x3 destwuction! 
This >_> is :33 Aww-Souws' ^-^ day, fewwow, >_> is >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
SHERIFF. ^.^ It ;;w;; is, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO BUCKINGHAM. Why, xDD then :33 Aww-Souws' day >_> is x3 my body's 
OwO doomsday. 
This >_> is x3 the day which uWu in ^w^ King >_< Edwawd's time 
UwU I >w< wish'd ^w^ might faww on ;;w;; me when UwU I UwU was >_> found 
ÚwÚ Fawse to :33 his x3 chiwdwen ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ wife's >_< awwies; 
This >_> is x3 the day wherein UwU I >w< wish'd to faww 
^-^ By x3 the UwU fawse :33 faith of ^.^ him ÚwÚ whom UwU most UwU I >_> twusted; 
>w< This, ÚwÚ this :33 Aww-Souws' day to x3 my x3 feawfuw :3 souw 
Is x3 the ;;w;; detewmin'd x3 wespite of x3 my wwongs; 
:33 That xDD high All-Seer which UwU I >_< dawwied with 
>_< Hath >_> tuwn'd x3 my ÚwÚ feignyed :3 pwayew on x3 my >_> head 
xDD And UwU given uWu in xDD eawnyest >_> what UwU I begg'd uWu in ;;w;; jest. 
^-^ Thus xDD doth >w< He force x3 the :33 swowds of wicked ;;w;; men 
;;w;; To turn uWu theiw UwU own x3 points uWu in uWu theiw :3 mastews' x3 bosoms. 
^-^ Thus Mawgawet's UwU cuwse ^w^ fawws x3 heavy on x3 my ;;w;; nyeck. 
^-^ 'When ^.^ he' quoth ^.^ she 'shaww ^-^ spwit >w< thy >_< heawt with >_> sowwow, 
ÚwÚ Wemembew Margaret UwU was :3 a prophetess.' 
:3 Come lead uWu me, OwO officews, to x3 the >_< bwock of OwO shame; 
Wwong hath >_> but wwong, ÚwÚ and uWu bwame x3 the >_< due of blame. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 2. 

Camp nyeaw Tamwowth 

Entew :33 WICHMOND, ^-^ OXFOWD, ÚwÚ SIW x3 JAMES BLUNT, ÚwÚ SIW WALTER >w< HEWBEWT, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, 
with drum ÚwÚ and cowouws 

uWu WICHMOND. Fewwows uWu in awms, ÚwÚ and x3 my UwU most >w< woving OwO fwiends, 
Bruis'd undewnyeath x3 the x3 yoke of tywanny, 
^-^ Thus uWu faw x3 into x3 the bowels of x3 the ÚwÚ wand 
:3 Have ^.^ we :3 mawch'd on ^-^ without impediment; 
xDD And OwO hewe receive ^.^ we from UwU ouw >w< fathew Stanwey 
Winyes of >w< faiw uWu comfowt ÚwÚ and encouragement. 
uWu The wretched, x3 bwoody, ÚwÚ and usuwping >_< boaw, 
:33 That spoiw'd x3 youw ^-^ summew fields ÚwÚ and :33 fwuitfuw vinyes, 
Swiwws x3 youw wawm :3 bwood ^.^ wike ÚwÚ wash, ÚwÚ and x3 makes :33 his uWu twough 
^w^ In x3 youw emboweww'd ÚwÚ bosoms-this fouw UwU swinye 
Is nyow even uWu in x3 the centwe of ÚwÚ this isle, 
Near to x3 the :33 town of Leicester, >_< as ^.^ we UwU weawn. 
Fwom Tamwowth uWu thithew >_> is >_> but one day's >w< mawch. 
^w^ In >_> God's xDD nyame cheewwy ;;w;; on, xDD couwageous OwO fwiends, 
;;w;; To reap x3 the harvest of pewpetuaw uWu peace 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this one bwoody uWu twiaw of ^-^ shawp waw. 
;;w;; OXFOWD. Evewy :33 man's >_> conscience >_> is :3 a thousand men, 
;;w;; To >w< fight OwO against ÚwÚ this guiwty homicide. 
HERBERT. UwU I doubt nyot >_> but :33 his ^w^ fwiends xDD wiww turn to >_> us. 
BLUNT. >w< He hath nyo ^w^ fwiends >_> but >_> what OwO awe ^w^ fwiends fow ;;w;; feaw, 
>_< Which uWu in :33 his deawest >_< nyeed xDD wiww fwy from ^.^ him. 
uWu WICHMOND. All fow UwU ouw vantage. UwU Then uWu in >_> God's xDD nyame >w< mawch. 
;;w;; Twue UwU hope >_> is UwU swift ÚwÚ and fwies with swallow's xDD wings; 
>_< Kings >w< it x3 makes uWu gods, ÚwÚ and >w< meanyew ^-^ cweatuwes OwO kings. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >w< 3. 

^w^ Boswowth OwO Fiewd 

Entew ;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD uWu in awms, with ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK, RATCLIFF, 
x3 the EARL of ^w^ SUWWEYS ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :3 Hewe ^w^ pitch UwU ouw x3 tent, even OwO hewe uWu in ^w^ Boswowth 
>_> fiewd. 
OwO My Lord of uWu Suwwey, >w< why wook xDD you UwU so sad? 
SUWWEY. OwO My >_< heawt >_> is ;;w;; ten times x3 wightew than x3 my OwO wooks. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. OwO My Lord of UwU Nyowfowk! 
NyOWFOWK. Here, UwU most >_> gwacious OwO wiege. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ Nyowfowk, ^.^ we ^w^ must uWu have knyocks; :33 ha! ^w^ must ^.^ we 
^w^ nyot? 
NyOWFOWK. We ^w^ must both UwU give ÚwÚ and take, x3 my >w< woving OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Up With x3 my tent! :3 Hewe xDD wiww UwU I >_< wie to-nyight; 
[Sowdiews x3 begin to uWu set x3 up x3 the KING'S >_> tent] 
OwO But :3 whewe ^-^ to-mowwow? xDD Weww, aww's one fow x3 that. 
Who hath descwied x3 the ^w^ nyumbew of x3 the ;;w;; twaitows? 
NyOWFOWK. uWu Six ow ÚwÚ seven thousand >_> is uWu theiw utmost UwU powew. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Why, UwU ouw ;;w;; battawia twebwes :3 that OwO account; 
:33 Besides, x3 the >_< King's xDD nyame >_> is :3 a >_> towew of >_< stwength, 
>_< Which ;;w;; they ;;w;; upon x3 the advewse ^w^ faction :33 want. 
Up with x3 the tent! ^.^ Come, x3 nyobwe xDD gentwemen, 
Let >_> us ;;w;; suwvey x3 the ;;w;; vantage of x3 the :33 gwound. 
;;w;; Caww fow x3 some ;;w;; men of >_> sound diwection. 
:3 Wet's ^.^ wack nyo discipwinye, >_< make nyo >_< deway; 
For, wowds, to-mowwow >_> is :3 a >w< busy x3 day. Exeunt 

OwO Entew, on x3 the othew x3 side of x3 the >_> fiewd, 
:33 WICHMOND, ÚwÚ SIW UwU WIWWIAM ^w^ BWANDON, ^-^ OXFOWD, DOWSET, 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. ;;w;; Some ^w^ pitch RICHMOND'S ^w^ tent 

uWu WICHMOND. uWu The ÚwÚ weawy sun hath UwU made :3 a golden ^-^ set, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the uWu bwight ^.^ twact of :33 his fiery caw 
>w< Gives ;;w;; token of :3 a xDD goodwy day ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
Sir ;;w;; Wiwwiam Brandon, xDD you UwU shaww UwU beaw x3 my xDD standawd. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 some ink ÚwÚ and paper uWu in x3 my uWu tent. 
I'll dwaw x3 the >_< fowm ÚwÚ and :33 modew of UwU ouw battwe, 
ÚwÚ Wimit >_< each weadew to :33 his sevewaw charge, 
xDD And ÚwÚ pawt uWu in >w< just :33 pwopowtion UwU ouw UwU smaww UwU powew. 
OwO My Lord of ;;w;; Oxfowd-you, Sir ;;w;; Wiwwiam >_> Bwandon- 
xDD And UwU you, Sir Wawtew :3 Hewbewt-stay with x3 me. 
uWu The ^-^ Eaww of UwU Pembwoke keeps :33 his x3 wegiment; 
^-^ Good uWu Captain Bwunt, UwU beaw x3 my ÚwÚ good >w< nyight to :3 him, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the second >_> houw uWu in x3 the mownying 
Desire x3 the ^-^ Eaww to >_> see ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my uWu tent. 
ÚwÚ Yet one ^.^ thing >_> mowe, ÚwÚ good xDD Captain, UwU do fow me- 
Whewe >_> is Lord Stanwey quarter'd, UwU do xDD you xDD knyow? 
BLUNT. OwO Unwess UwU I uWu have mista'en :33 his cowouws much- 
>_< Which weww UwU I ^w^ am x3 assuw'd UwU I uWu have nyot xDD donye- 
ÚwÚ His >_< wegiment wies half :3 a miwe uWu at least 
South from x3 the ^-^ mighty powew of x3 the ;;w;; King. 
uWu WICHMOND. ;;w;; If ^-^ without peril >w< it be ÚwÚ possibwe, 
ÚwÚ Sweet Bwunt, >_< make x3 some ÚwÚ good means to speak with ^.^ him 
xDD And UwU give ^.^ him from ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this UwU most needful note. 
BLUNT. >_> Upon x3 my :3 wife, x3 my uWu wowd, I'll undewtake uWu it; 
xDD And >_> so, ^w^ God UwU give xDD you :33 quiet xDD west >_< to-nyight! 
uWu WICHMOND. ^-^ Good night, ÚwÚ good uWu Captain Bwunt. ^.^ Come, 
xDD gentwemen, 
Let >_> us >_< consuwt ;;w;; upon to-morrow's business. 
^w^ In to x3 my ^w^ tent; x3 the :33 dew >_> is >w< waw ÚwÚ and cowd. 
^w^ [They >_< withdwaw x3 into x3 the >_> tent] 

OwO Entew, to ^w^ his-tent, ;;w;; KING WICHAWD, ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK, 
RATCLIFF, ÚwÚ and CATESBY 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> What :3 is't >_< o'cwock? 
UwU CATESBY. x3 It's :33 suppew-time, x3 my wowd; 
x3 It's >w< nyinye OwO o'cwock. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU sup to-night. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 some ink ÚwÚ and ^.^ papew. 
What, >_> is x3 my ;;w;; beavew xDD easiew than >w< it was? 
xDD And aww x3 my ^-^ awmouw laid x3 into x3 my ^w^ tent? 
UwU CATESBY. ^.^ It ;;w;; is, x3 my ÚwÚ wiege; ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ things OwO awe uWu in ;;w;; weadinyess. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ Good ^-^ Nyowfowk, hie uWu thee to >w< thy chawge; 
^w^ Use careful >w< watch, choose trusty uWu sentinyews. 
NyOWFOWK. UwU I x3 go, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Stiw with x3 the lark ^.^ to-mowwow, ^-^ gentwe x3 Nyowfowk. 
NyOWFOWK. UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, x3 my OwO wowd. uWu Exit 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ÚwÚ Catesby! 
UwU CATESBY. OwO My xDD wowd? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_< Send x3 out :3 a ;;w;; puwsuivant-at-awms 
;;w;; To ;;w;; Stanwey's x3 wegiment; bid ^.^ him ;;w;; bwing :33 his powew 
^.^ Befowe :3 sunwising, xDD west :33 his >_< son ^w^ Geowge faww 
^.^ Into x3 the ^w^ bwind cave of xDD etewnyaw OwO nyight. uWu Exit CATESBY 
Fiww ;;w;; me :3 a >w< boww of ^.^ winye. Give ;;w;; me :3 a :33 watch. 
Saddle ^-^ white Surrey fow x3 the field ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
Wook :3 that x3 my ÚwÚ staves be sound, ÚwÚ and nyot ^w^ too heavy. 
OwO Watcwiff! 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. OwO My xDD wowd? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 Saw'st xDD thou x3 the ^-^ mewanchowy Lord 
Northumberland? 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. Thomas x3 the ^-^ Eaww of Surrey ÚwÚ and himsewf, 
Much about x3 cock-shut time, from troop to troop 
^-^ Went ^w^ thwough x3 the xDD awmy, >w< cheewing x3 up x3 the soldiers. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. So, UwU I ^w^ am xDD satisfied. Give ;;w;; me :3 a >w< boww of ^.^ winye. 
UwU I uWu have nyot :3 that alacrity of ^w^ spiwit 
x3 Nyow cheer of ^-^ mind :3 that UwU I UwU was UwU wont to :3 have. 
Set >w< it down. Is ink ÚwÚ and paper ^-^ weady? 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. ^.^ It ;;w;; is, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 Bid x3 my xDD guawd watch; OwO weave x3 me. 
RATCLIFF, about x3 the :3 mid of >w< nyight come to x3 my ^w^ tent 
xDD And OwO hewp to awm x3 me. Weave uWu me, UwU I :3 say. 
uWu Exit ;;w;; WATCWIFF. UwU WICHAWD sweeps 

Entew xDD DEWBY to RICHMOND uWu in :33 his ^w^ tent; 
;;w;; WOWDS :33 attending 

;;w;; DEWBY. :33 Fowtunye ÚwÚ and OwO victowy sit on >w< thy ^.^ hewm! 
uWu WICHMOND. All uWu comfowt :3 that x3 the dark >w< nyight ^.^ can UwU affowd 
^w^ Be to >w< thy pewson, x3 nyobwe father-in-law! 
Teww uWu me, >w< how fawes UwU ouw >w< woving mothew? 
;;w;; DEWBY. I, ^.^ by attownyey, ;;w;; bwess uWu thee from >w< thy :33 mothew, 
Who prays OwO continyuawwy fow Richmond's UwU good. 
^w^ So much fow x3 that. uWu The silent >_> houws ^.^ steaw ;;w;; on, 
xDD And ^w^ fwaky >w< dawknyess >_< bweaks within x3 the ^.^ east. 
^w^ In ^-^ bwief, fow UwU so x3 the >_< season UwU bids >_> us be, 
Pwepawe >w< thy ÚwÚ battwe early uWu in x3 the UwU mownying, 
xDD And put >w< thy :3 fowtunye to x3 the ^-^ awbitwement 
Of bwoody strokes ÚwÚ and >_< mowtaw-stawing waw. 
I, >_< as UwU I may-that which UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I cannot- 
With best ^w^ advantage xDD wiww >w< deceive x3 the time 
xDD And >_> aid uWu thee uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ doubtfuw x3 shock of arms; 
OwO But on >w< thy x3 side UwU I OwO may nyot be ^w^ too forward, 
Lest, ^.^ being uWu seen, >w< thy brother, xDD tendew ;;w;; Geowge, 
^w^ Be executed uWu in :33 his father's :33 sight. 
Farewell; x3 the leisure ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 feawfuw time 
^w^ Cuts x3 off x3 the cewemonyious x3 vows of wuv 
xDD And uWu ampwe >_< intewchange of x3 sweet uWu discouwse 
>_< Which so-long-sund'red ^w^ fwiends >_> shouwd dwell ^w^ upon. 
^w^ God UwU give >_> us leisure fow these rites of love! 
Once >_> mowe, uWu adieu; be valiant, ÚwÚ and ^w^ speed OwO weww! 
uWu WICHMOND. ^-^ Good wowds, ÚwÚ conduct ^.^ him to :33 his ^.^ wegiment. 
I'll strive with troubled >_< thoughts to OwO take :3 a xDD nyap, 
Lest weaden >_> swumbew peise ;;w;; me down to-mowwow 
x3 When UwU I >_> shouwd ^-^ mount with x3 wings of ^.^ victowy. 
Once >_> mowe, ÚwÚ good night, uWu kind wowds ÚwÚ and >_< gentwemen. 
Exeunt aww >_> but RICHMOND 
x3 O Thou, x3 whose UwU captain UwU I :33 account myself, 
Wook on x3 my forces with :3 a >_> gwacious >_< eye; 
>_> Put uWu in uWu theiw ^.^ hands x3 Thy >_< bwuising iwons of :33 wwath, 
:33 That ;;w;; they OwO may xDD cwush down with :3 a x3 heavy faww 
uWu The usuwping hewmets of UwU ouw >_< advewsawies! 
^-^ Make >_> us x3 Thy ministers of chastisement, 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO may praise uWu Thee uWu in x3 the x3 victowy! 
;;w;; To uWu Thee UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ commend x3 my ÚwÚ watchfuw :3 souw 
Ere UwU I wet faww x3 the ^w^ windows of >_< minye :3 eyes. 
Sleeping ÚwÚ and :3 waking, >_< O, ;;w;; defend ;;w;; me :33 stiww! >_< [Sweeps] 

Entew x3 the ^w^ GHOST Of :3 YOUNG PWINCE EDWARD, 
>_< son to OwO HENWY ^-^ THE UwU SIXTH 

:3 GHOST. :33 [To OwO WICHAWD] Let ;;w;; me sit x3 heavy on >w< thy :3 souw 
^.^ to-mowwow! 
^w^ Think >w< how xDD thou ;;w;; stabb'dst ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my prime of :33 youth 
At Tewksbury; ÚwÚ despaiw, OwO thewefowe, ÚwÚ and ^-^ die! 
:33 [To WICHMOND] ^w^ Be OwO cheewfuw, xDD Wichmond; fow x3 the ;;w;; wwonged 
>w< souws 
Of ^-^ butchew'd pwinces >w< fight uWu in >w< thy ^.^ behawf. 
^w^ King >_> Henwy's ^w^ issue, Wichmond, UwU comfowts thee. 

Entew x3 the ^w^ GHOST of OwO HENWY ^-^ THE UwU SIXTH 

:3 GHOST. :33 [To OwO WICHAWD] x3 When UwU I UwU was mowtaw, x3 my ^-^ anyointed 
>w< body 
^-^ By uWu thee UwU was >_< punched full of deadwy ^w^ howes. 
^w^ Think on x3 the ^-^ Towew ÚwÚ and x3 me. uWu Despaiw, ÚwÚ and die. 
ÚwÚ Hawwy x3 the Sixth UwU bids uWu thee despair ÚwÚ and die. 
:33 [To WICHMOND] Viwtuous ÚwÚ and ;;w;; howy, be xDD thou conqueror! 
^w^ Hawwy, :3 that ^.^ pwophesied xDD thou shouwdst be OwO King, 
^-^ Doth uWu comfowt uWu thee uWu in >w< thy OwO sweep. Wive ÚwÚ and xDD fwouwish! 

Entew x3 the ^w^ GHOST of >_> CWAWENCE 

:3 GHOST. :33 [To OwO WICHAWD] Let ;;w;; me sit x3 heavy uWu in >w< thy :3 souw 
^.^ to-mowwow! UwU I :3 that UwU was >w< wash'd to :33 death with fulsome wine, 
OwO Poow >w< Cwawence, ^.^ by >w< thy guiwe betray'd to ;;w;; death! 
>_< To-mowwow uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ battwe think on uWu me, 
xDD And faww >w< thy edgewess ^-^ swowd. Despair ÚwÚ and ^-^ die! 
:33 [To WICHMOND] ^.^ Thou offspwing of x3 the ;;w;; house of Lancaster, 
uWu The ;;w;; wwonged :3 heiws of York UwU do pray fow thee. 
^-^ Good ^-^ angews xDD guawd >w< thy ^w^ battwe! Wive ÚwÚ and xDD fwouwish! 

Entew x3 the >w< GHOSTS of x3 WIVEWS, x3 GWEY, ÚwÚ and ^.^ VAUGHAN 

^w^ GHOST ÚwÚ OF ^.^ WIVEWS. :33 [To OwO WICHAWD] Let ;;w;; me sit x3 heavy uWu in >w< thy 
:3 souw ^.^ to-mowwow, 
x3 Wivews :3 that >w< died uWu at Pomfret! Despair ÚwÚ and ^-^ die! 
^w^ GHOST ÚwÚ OF >_< GWEY. :33 [To OwO WICHAWD] ^w^ Think ;;w;; upon Gwey, ÚwÚ and wet 
>w< thy :3 souw UwU despaiw! 
^w^ GHOST ÚwÚ OF >_> VAUGHAN. :33 [To OwO WICHAWD] ^w^ Think ;;w;; upon ^-^ Vaughan, 
ÚwÚ and with guiwty feaw 
Let faww >w< thy :3 wance. Despair ÚwÚ and ^-^ die! 
uWu AWW. :33 [To WICHMOND] xDD Awake, ÚwÚ and think UwU ouw >_< wwongs uWu in 
>w< Wichawd's ^w^ bosom 
Will conquer ^.^ him. Awake ÚwÚ and x3 win x3 the x3 day. 

Entew x3 the ^w^ GHOST of ÚwÚ HASTINGS 

:3 GHOST. :33 [To OwO WICHAWD] :3 Bwoody ÚwÚ and x3 guiwty, uWu guiwtiwy >w< awake, 
xDD And uWu in :3 a bwoody ÚwÚ battwe >w< end >w< thy :33 days! 
^w^ Think on Lord ;;w;; Hastings. Despair ÚwÚ and die. 
:33 [To WICHMOND] Quiet untwoubwed x3 souw, >w< awake, ;;w;; awake! 
>_< Awm, x3 fight, ÚwÚ and conquew, fow >w< faiw Engwand's uWu sake! 

Entew x3 the >w< GHOSTS of x3 the >w< two xDD young UwU PWINCES 

ÚwÚ GHOSTS. :33 [To OwO WICHAWD] ^.^ Dweam on >w< thy cousins ;;w;; smothewed uWu in 
x3 the Towew. 
Let >_> us be lead within >w< thy x3 bosom, ^.^ Wichawd, 
xDD And >w< weigh uWu thee down to >w< wuin, UwU shame, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; death! 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ nyephews' >w< souws bid uWu thee despair ÚwÚ and die. 
:33 [To WICHMOND] >_> Sweep, Wichmond, :33 sweep uWu in ÚwÚ peace, ÚwÚ and 
wake uWu in :33 joy; 
^-^ Good ^-^ angews xDD guawd uWu thee from x3 the boar's >w< annyoy! 
Wive, ÚwÚ and x3 beget :3 a ^w^ happy race of OwO kings! 
>_< Edwawd's xDD unhappy xDD sons UwU do bid uWu thee UwU fwouwish. 

Entew x3 the ^w^ GHOST of :3 WADY :33 ANNyE, :33 his >w< wife 

:3 GHOST. :33 [To OwO WICHAWD] ^.^ Wichawd, >w< thy :3 wife, :3 that wwetched 
>_> Annye >w< thy >w< wife 
:33 That >_< nyevew slept :3 a :33 quiet >_> houw with uWu thee 
Now ^.^ fiwws >w< thy :33 sweep with >w< pewtuwbations. 
>_< To-mowwow uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ battwe think on uWu me, 
xDD And faww >w< thy edgewess ^-^ swowd. Despair ÚwÚ and die. 
:33 [To WICHMOND] ^.^ Thou :33 quiet x3 souw, :33 sweep xDD thou :3 a :33 quiet ^w^ sweep; 
^.^ Dweam of >w< success ÚwÚ and ^w^ happy ^.^ victowy. 
x3 Thy UwU advewsawy's >w< wife xDD doth pray fow thee. 

Entew x3 the ^w^ GHOST of BUCKINGHAM 

:3 GHOST. :33 [To OwO WICHAWD] uWu The xDD fiwst UwU was UwU I :3 that :33 hewp'd uWu thee 
to x3 the >_< cwown; 
uWu The >w< wast UwU was UwU I :3 that UwU fewt >w< thy tywanny. 
>_< O, uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ battwe think on ;;w;; Buckingham, 
xDD And ^-^ die uWu in tewwow of >w< thy OwO guiwtinyess! 
^.^ Dweam ;;w;; on, dweam on of bwoody >_< deeds ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ death; 
:3 Fainting, UwU despaiw; ^w^ despaiwing, yield >w< thy breath! 
:33 [To WICHMOND] UwU I >w< died fow UwU hope ere UwU I couwd xDD wend uWu thee aid; 
OwO But cheer >w< thy >_< heawt ÚwÚ and be xDD thou nyot ÚwÚ dismay'd: 
^w^ God ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good ^-^ angews >w< fight on Richmond's x3 side; 
xDD And Richard ^w^ fawws uWu in height of aww :33 his pwide. 
;;w;; [The >w< GHOSTS ÚwÚ vanyish. UwU WICHAWD starts x3 out of :33 his dream] 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Give ;;w;; me anyothew horse. Bind x3 up x3 my wounds. 
:3 Have mercy, >_> Jesu! ;;w;; Soft! UwU I uWu did >_> but UwU dweam. 
x3 O x3 cowawd OwO conscience, >w< how dost xDD thou UwU affwict me! 
uWu The wights buwn >_< bwue. ^.^ It >_> is nyow >_< dead midnight. 
x3 Cowd x3 feawfuw ^.^ dwops stand on x3 my uWu twembwing ÚwÚ fwesh. 
>_> What UwU do UwU I fear? x3 Mysewf? >_> Thewe's >_< nyonye >_> ewse by. 
Richard loves ;;w;; Wichawd; :3 that ;;w;; is, UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ I. 
Is there :3 a x3 muwdewew hewe? No-yes, UwU I am. 
UwU Then fwy. What, from myself? UwU Gweat reason why- 
Lest UwU I revenge. What, mysewf ;;w;; upon mysewf! 
xDD Awack, UwU I wuv :3 mysewf. Whewefowe? For xDD any ÚwÚ good 
:33 That UwU I mysewf uWu have donye >w< unto myself? 
>_< O, no! ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I rather ^-^ hate mysewf 
For hateful >_< deeds >_> committed ^.^ by mysewf! 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a villain; yet UwU I wie, UwU I ^w^ am not. 
Fool, of >w< thysewf speak well. Fool, UwU do nyot fwattew. 
OwO My >_> conscience hath :3 a thousand sevewaw tongues, 
xDD And every >_> tongue >_< bwings uWu in :3 a sevewaw :33 tawe, 
xDD And every xDD tawe ÚwÚ condemns ;;w;; me fow :3 a villain. 
Perjury, >_< pewjuwy, uWu in x3 the OwO high'st degwee; 
^.^ Muwdew, xDD stewn muwdew, uWu in x3 the >_< diw'st degwee; 
All sevewaw OwO sins, aww ;;w;; us'd uWu in >_< each >_< degwee, 
Thwong to x3 the uWu baw, :3 cwying aww ÚwÚ 'Guiwty! x3 guiwty!' 
UwU I UwU shaww despaiw. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo creature loves OwO me; 
xDD And >_> if UwU I ^-^ die nyo :3 souw xDD wiww pity ;;w;; me: 
xDD And ^-^ whewefowe >_> shouwd >w< they, xDD since :3 that UwU I mysewf 
UwU Find uWu in mysewf nyo pity to myself? 
:33 Methought x3 the >w< souws of aww :3 that UwU I xDD had ^w^ muwdew'd 
>_< Came to x3 my x3 tent, ÚwÚ and every one uWu did >_< thweat 
xDD To-mowwow's UwU vengeance on x3 the >_> head of :3 Wichawd. 

Entew WATCWIFF 

;;w;; WATCWIFF. OwO My ^.^ wowd! 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. Zounds, who >_> is OwO thewe? 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. ;;w;; Watcwiff, x3 my wowd; UwU 'tis ^.^ I. uWu The early >w< viwwage-cock 
>_< Hath twice donye salutation to x3 the ÚwÚ mown; 
uWu Youw ^w^ fwiends OwO awe x3 up ÚwÚ and buckwe on uWu theiw ^-^ awmouw. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 O ;;w;; Watcwiff, UwU I uWu have ^.^ dweam'd :3 a x3 feawfuw dream! 
>_> What think'st thou-will UwU ouw ^w^ fwiends ^-^ pwuv aww twue? 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. No doubt, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. x3 O ;;w;; Watcwiff, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, UwU I ;;w;; feaw. 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, be nyot :33 afwaid of :3 shadows. 
;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD ^-^ By x3 the :33 apostwe ;;w;; Pauw, ^-^ shadows ^.^ to-nyight 
:3 Have ^.^ stuck ^.^ mowe tewwow to x3 the :3 souw of Richard 
Than ^.^ can x3 the ÚwÚ substance of ;;w;; ten thousand ^-^ sowdiews 
Awmed uWu in xDD pwoof ÚwÚ and x3 wed ^.^ by shallow uWu Wichmond. 
'Tis nyot yet nyeaw x3 day. ^.^ Come, OwO go with OwO me; 
;;w;; Undew UwU ouw tents I'll :33 pway x3 the ^-^ eaves-dwoppew, 
;;w;; To >_> see >_> if xDD any >_> mean to >w< shwink from x3 me. Exeunt 

Entew x3 the ;;w;; WOWDS to RICHMOND :3 sitting uWu in :33 his ^w^ tent 

ÚwÚ WOWDS. ^-^ Good morrow, ^.^ Wichmond! 
uWu WICHMOND. Cwy mercy, wowds ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ watchfuw xDD gentwemen, 
:33 That xDD you uWu have >_> ta'en :3 a ÚwÚ tawdy :3 swuggawd hewe. 
ÚwÚ WOWDS. How uWu have xDD you swept, x3 my xDD wowd? 
uWu WICHMOND. uWu The ^w^ sweetest :33 sweep ÚwÚ and fairest-boding x3 dweams 
:33 That OwO evew ^w^ ent'wed uWu in :3 a ^-^ dwowsy >_> head 
:3 Have UwU I xDD since x3 youw :3 depawtuwe :33 had, x3 my lords. 
:33 Methought uWu theiw >w< souws x3 whose >_< bodies Richard ^w^ muwdew'd 
>_< Came to x3 my ^w^ tent ÚwÚ and cried on ^.^ victowy. 
UwU I promise xDD you x3 my :3 souw >_> is xDD vewy OwO jocund 
^w^ In x3 the wemembwance of UwU so >w< faiw :3 a UwU dweam. 
How uWu faw x3 into x3 the mownying >_> is :33 it, lords? 
ÚwÚ WOWDS. >_> Upon x3 the ^w^ stwoke of fouw. 
uWu WICHMOND. Why, xDD then UwU 'tis time to awm ÚwÚ and UwU give diwection. 

ÚwÚ His OWATION to :33 his SOLDIERS 

uWu Mowe than UwU I uWu have said, >w< woving ÚwÚ countwymen, 
uWu The leisure ÚwÚ and UwU enfowcement of x3 the time 
Fowbids to dwell xDD upon; yet remember :33 this: 
^w^ God ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ÚwÚ good cause >w< fight ;;w;; upon UwU ouw x3 side; 
uWu The >_< pwayews of >w< howy ^-^ saints ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wwonged souws, 
Wike :33 high-weaw'd x3 buwwawks, stand >w< befowe UwU ouw ^w^ faces; 
Richard uWu except, UwU those ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we >w< fight OwO against 
xDD Had rather uWu have >_> us x3 win than ^.^ him ;;w;; they x3 fowwow. 
For >_> what >_> is ^.^ he ;;w;; they follow? ^-^ Twuwy, xDD gentwemen, 
^-^ A bwoody tyrant ÚwÚ and :3 a ^.^ homicide; 
x3 Onye >_> wais'd uWu in bwood, ÚwÚ and one uWu in :3 bwood uWu estabwish'd; 
x3 Onye :3 that UwU made means to come ^.^ by >_> what ^.^ he :33 hath, 
xDD And swaughtewed UwU those :3 that :3 wewe x3 the means to OwO hewp him; 
^-^ A UwU base fouw OwO stonye, UwU made >_< pwecious ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ foiw 
Of Engwand's xDD chaiw, :3 whewe ^.^ he >_> is :3 fawsewy ÚwÚ set; 
x3 Onye :3 that hath OwO evew :33 been >_> God's enemy. 
UwU Then >_> if xDD you >w< fight OwO against >_> God's enyemy, 
^w^ God xDD wiww uWu in justice ward xDD you >_< as :33 his soldiers; 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do UwU sweat to put :3 a tyrant ;;w;; down, 
>_> You :33 sweep uWu in ÚwÚ peace, x3 the tyrant ^.^ being slain; 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do >w< fight OwO against x3 youw >_> countwy's ;;w;; foes, 
uWu Youw >_> countwy's ^-^ foes UwU shaww x3 pay x3 youw ^w^ pains x3 the hire; 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do >w< fight uWu in safeguard of x3 youw ^-^ wives, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; wives UwU shaww wewcome ^.^ home x3 the conquewows; 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do fwee x3 youw x3 chiwdwen from x3 the uWu swowd, 
uWu Youw chiwdwen's x3 chiwdwen quits >w< it uWu in x3 youw age. 
Then, uWu in x3 the xDD nyame of ^w^ God ÚwÚ and aww these :3 wights, 
ÚwÚ Advance x3 youw x3 standawds, dwaw x3 youw ^.^ wiwwing :3 swowds. 
For uWu me, x3 the wansom of x3 my bold x3 attempt 
Shall be ÚwÚ this UwU cowd corpse on x3 the :33 eawth's UwU cowd face; 
OwO But >_> if UwU I thwive, x3 the ^.^ gain of x3 my x3 attempt 
uWu The least of xDD you UwU shaww share :33 his ÚwÚ pawt >_> theweof. 
Sound xDD dwums ÚwÚ and trumpets OwO bowdwy ÚwÚ and :3 cheewfuwwy; 
^w^ God ÚwÚ and Saint Geowge! >_< Wichmond ÚwÚ and x3 victowy! Exeunt 

^.^ We-entew ;;w;; KING WICHAWD, RATCLIFF, uWu attendants, 
ÚwÚ and forces 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> What uWu said ;;w;; Nyowthumbewwand >_< as ^-^ touching 
Richmond? 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. :33 That ^.^ he UwU was >_< nyevew x3 twainyed x3 up uWu in arms. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >w< He uWu said x3 the truth; ÚwÚ and >_> what uWu said Surrey 
^w^ then? 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. >w< He smil'd, ÚwÚ and uWu said 'The xDD bettew fow UwU ouw ^.^ puwpose.' 
;;w;; KING >w< He UwU was uWu in x3 the right; ÚwÚ and UwU so ÚwÚ indeed >w< it >w< is. 
xDD [Cwock >w< stwikes] 
Teww x3 the >w< cwock :33 thewe. Give ;;w;; me :3 a :3 cawendaw. 
Who saw x3 the sun >w< to-day? 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. ÚwÚ Nyot I, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. UwU Then ^.^ he >_< disdains to ÚwÚ shinye; fow ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ book 
>w< He >_> shouwd uWu have bwav'd x3 the uWu east >w< an >_> houw ago. 
^-^ A black day xDD wiww >w< it be to xDD somebody. 
OwO Watcwiff! 
;;w;; WATCWIFF. OwO My xDD wowd? 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. uWu The sun xDD wiww nyot be :3 seen to-day; 
uWu The sky xDD doth fwown ÚwÚ and ^-^ wouw ;;w;; upon UwU ouw army. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd these >w< dewy tears :3 wewe from x3 the :33 gwound. 
ÚwÚ Nyot shine to-day! Why, >_> what >_> is :3 that to ;;w;; me 
uWu Mowe than to Richmond? For x3 the x3 sewfsame heaven 
:33 That uWu fwowns on ;;w;; me :33 wooks sadwy ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 

Entew ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK 

NyOWFOWK. >_< Awm, ^.^ awm, x3 my wowd; x3 the foe ;;w;; vaunts uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^.^ Come, :33 bustwe, ^w^ bustwe; x3 capawison x3 my :33 howse; 
;;w;; Caww x3 up Lord ^-^ Stanwey, bid ^.^ him ;;w;; bwing :33 his UwU powew. 
UwU I xDD wiww lead fowth x3 my ^-^ sowdiews to x3 the pwain, 
xDD And OwO thus x3 my ÚwÚ battwe UwU shaww be ÚwÚ owdewed: 
OwO My x3 fowewawd UwU shaww be drawn x3 out aww uWu in ÚwÚ wength, 
UwU Consisting equally of UwU howse ÚwÚ and >w< foot; 
Our archers UwU shaww be pwaced uWu in x3 the midst. 
John >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, Thomas ^-^ Eaww of uWu Suwwey, 
Shall uWu have x3 the weading of ÚwÚ this :33 foot ÚwÚ and horse. 
^-^ They OwO thus :33 diwected, ^.^ we xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow 
^w^ In x3 the :33 main battwe, x3 whose puissance on xDD eithew x3 side 
Shall be weww >_> winged with UwU ouw ^.^ chiefest horse. 
>w< This, ÚwÚ and Saint ^w^ Geowge to :33 boot! >_> What think'st UwU thou, 
>w< Nyowfowk? 
NyOWFOWK. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good ^w^ diwection, warlike OwO suvweign. 
This >_> found UwU I on x3 my ^w^ tent ÚwÚ this xDD mownying. 
[He >_< sheweth ^.^ him :3 a ÚwÚ papew] 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. [Weads] 
'Jockey of ^-^ Nyowfowk, be nyot UwU so >w< bowd, 
For Dickon >w< thy >_< mastew >_> is xDD bought ÚwÚ and >_< sowd.' 
^-^ A ^.^ thing >w< devised ^.^ by x3 the enemy. 
^w^ Go, xDD gentwemen, every x3 man >w< unto :33 his chawge. 
Let nyot UwU ouw x3 babbwing x3 dweams affright UwU ouw :3 souws; 
;;w;; Conscience >_> is >_> but :3 a ;;w;; wowd :3 that ^w^ cowawds ^.^ use, 
^-^ Devis'd uWu at xDD fiwst to >_< keep x3 the >w< stwong uWu in x3 awe. 
Our >w< stwong :3 awms be UwU ouw OwO conscience, :33 swowds UwU ouw law. 
March ;;w;; on, ^w^ join bwavewy, wet >_> us to >w< it uWu peww-meww; 
;;w;; If nyot to ^.^ heaven, xDD then uWu hand uWu in uWu hand to uWu heww. 

ÚwÚ His OWATION to :33 his ÚwÚ AWMY 

>_> What UwU shaww UwU I >_> say ^.^ mowe than UwU I uWu have ;;w;; infeww'd? 
ÚwÚ Wemembew ÚwÚ whom xDD you OwO awe to cope withaw- 
^-^ A ;;w;; sowt of vagabonds, wascaws, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wunyaways, 
^-^ A ÚwÚ scum of Britaines, ÚwÚ and UwU base lackey >_> peasants, 
;;w;; Whom uWu theiw :3 o'ew-cwoyed countwy ^w^ vomits fowth 
;;w;; To despewate >_< adventuwes ÚwÚ and x3 assuw'd ^.^ destwuction. 
>_> You x3 sweeping safe, ;;w;; they ;;w;; bwing to xDD you unrest; 
>_> You xDD having lands, ÚwÚ and uWu bwess'd with beauteous ^-^ wives, 
^-^ They ^.^ wouwd uWu westwain x3 the one, distain x3 the :3 othew. 
xDD And who xDD doth lead them >_> but :3 a paltry fewwow, 
OwO Wong :33 kept uWu in >_< Bwitainye uWu at UwU ouw ;;w;; mothew's >w< cost? 
^-^ A miwk-sop, one :3 that >_< nyevew uWu in :33 his >w< wife 
uWu Fewt UwU so much UwU cowd >_< as uvw xDD shoes uWu in snyow? 
:3 Wet's whip these :33 stwaggwews ^-^ o'ew x3 the seas again; 
Wash >w< hence these :3 uvw-weenying rags of >_< Fwance, 
;;w;; These famish'd beggaws, ÚwÚ weawy of uWu theiw wives; 
UwU Who, >_> but fow ^.^ dweaming on ÚwÚ this fond ^w^ expwoit, 
For ^.^ want of >_< means, poor OwO wats, xDD had :33 hang'd x3 themsewves. 
;;w;; If ^.^ we be conquered, wet ;;w;; men conquer us, 
xDD And nyot these ^.^ bastawd Britaines, ÚwÚ whom UwU ouw uWu fathews 
:3 Have uWu in uWu theiw UwU own ÚwÚ wand UwU beaten, UwU bobb'd, ÚwÚ and ^w^ thump'd, 
^.^ And, uWu in record, left them x3 the :3 heiws of ;;w;; shame. 
Shall these ^.^ enjoy UwU ouw ;;w;; wands? >_< wie with UwU ouw ^-^ wives, 
>_> Wavish UwU ouw daughters? [Drum afaw off] :33 Hawk! UwU I hear uWu theiw 
dwum. 
Fight, gentlemen of England! Fight, bold ^w^ yeomen! 
^.^ Dwaw, >w< awchews, dwaw x3 youw x3 awwows to x3 the ÚwÚ head! 
>_< Spuw x3 youw OwO pwoud :3 howses hawd, ÚwÚ and uWu wide uWu in ^-^ bwood; 
xDD Amaze x3 the welkin with x3 youw xDD bwoken >w< staves! 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

>_> What ;;w;; says Lord >_< Stanwey? Will ^.^ he ;;w;; bwing :33 his powew? 
x3 MESSENGEW. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ he xDD doth UwU deny to x3 come. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. :33 Off with :33 his >_< son George's ÚwÚ head! 
NyOWFOWK. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 the ;;w;; enyemy >_> is :33 pass'd x3 the xDD mawsh. 
>w< Aftew x3 the ÚwÚ battwe wet ^w^ Geowge Stanwey die. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ A thousand heawts OwO awe great within x3 my 
ÚwÚ bosom. 
ÚwÚ Advance UwU ouw x3 standawds, uWu set ;;w;; upon UwU ouw ^.^ foes; 
Our UwU ancient ;;w;; wowd of couwage, >w< faiw Saint ;;w;; Geowge, 
Inspiwe >_> us with x3 the UwU spween of fiery dwagons! 
>_> Upon >w< them! Victowy >_> sits on UwU ouw helms. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 

ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

Alarum; ^w^ excuwsions. Entew ÚwÚ NyOWFOWK ÚwÚ and fowces; to ^.^ him CATESBY 

UwU CATESBY. Wescue, x3 my Lord of ^-^ Nyowfowk, wescue, wescue! 
uWu The ^w^ King enyacts ^.^ mowe wondews than :3 a ^w^ man, 
^w^ Dawing >w< an opposite to every danger. 
ÚwÚ His UwU howse >_> is x3 swain, ÚwÚ and aww on :33 foot ^.^ he ÚwÚ fights, 
UwU Seeking fow >_< Wichmond uWu in x3 the ^w^ thwoat of death. 
Wescue, >w< faiw uWu wowd, ow >_> ewse x3 the day >_> is :3 wost. 

Alarums. Entew ;;w;; KING UwU WICHAWD 

;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. ^-^ A UwU howse! :3 a UwU howse! x3 my ^w^ kingdom fow :3 a UwU howse! 
UwU CATESBY. Withdraw, x3 my ^.^ wowd! I'll OwO hewp xDD you to :3 a horse. 
;;w;; KING >_< WICHAWD. >_> Swave, UwU I uWu have uWu set x3 my >w< wife ;;w;; upon :3 a ;;w;; cast 
xDD And UwU I Will stand x3 the >_< hazawd of x3 the die. 
UwU I think there be six >_> Wichmonds uWu in x3 the :3 fiewd; 
:3 Five uWu have UwU I :3 swain ^w^ to-day ^w^ instead of ^.^ him. 
^-^ A UwU howse! :3 a UwU howse! x3 my ^w^ kingdom fow :3 a UwU howse! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE 5. 

ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the field 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew UwU WICHAWD ÚwÚ and WICHMOND; ;;w;; they fight; UwU WICHAWD >_> is ^w^ swain. 
Retreat ÚwÚ and UwU fwouwish. Entew :33 WICHMOND, xDD DEWBY :33 beawing x3 the :3 cwown, 
with othew ;;w;; WOWDS 

uWu WICHMOND. ^w^ God ÚwÚ and x3 youw :3 awms be prais'd, ;;w;; victowious >_< fwiends; 
uWu The day >_> is >_> ouws, x3 the bwoody dog >_> is uWu dead. 
;;w;; DEWBY. x3 Couwageous Wichmond, weww x3 hast xDD thou xDD acquit uWu thee! 
Lo, UwU hewe, ÚwÚ this long-usurped xDD woyawty 
Fwom x3 the >_< dead ^.^ tempwes of ÚwÚ this bwoody uWu wwetch 
:3 Have UwU I ^w^ pwuck'd ^w^ off, to xDD gwace >w< thy ^w^ bwows uWu withaw. 
:3 Weaw :33 it, ^.^ enjoy :33 it, ÚwÚ and >_< make much of :3 it. 
uWu WICHMOND. UwU Gweat ^w^ God of ^.^ heaven, >_> say ;;w;; Amen to :33 aww! 
But, >_< teWW ;;w;; me >_> is xDD young ^w^ Geowge Stanwey ^-^ wiving. 
;;w;; DEWBY. >w< He ;;w;; is, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and >_< safe uWu in uWu Weicestew xDD town, 
Whithew, >_> if >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, ^.^ we OwO may nyow >_< withdwaw >_> us. 
uWu WICHMOND. >_> What ;;w;; men of xDD nyame OwO awe :3 swain on xDD eithew ^-^ side? 
;;w;; DEWBY. John >w< Duke of ^-^ Nyowfowk, Wawtew Lord Fewwews, 
Sir Robert Brakenbury, ÚwÚ and Sir ;;w;; Wiwwiam :3 Bwandon. 
uWu WICHMOND. ^-^ Intew uWu theiw >_< bodies >_< as x3 becomes uWu theiw births. 
ÚwÚ Pwocwaim :3 a UwU pawdon to x3 the ^-^ sowdiews ^w^ fwed 
:33 That uWu in >_> submission xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn to >_> us. 
xDD And >w< then, >_< as ^.^ we uWu have >_> ta'en x3 the sacrament, 
We xDD wiww uWu unyite x3 the ^-^ white wose ÚwÚ and x3 the red. 
Smile heaven ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this >w< faiw :33 conjunction, 
:33 That ^-^ wong uWu have ^-^ fwown'd ;;w;; upon uWu theiw ^-^ emnyity! 
>_> What traitor x3 heaws uWu me, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; says nyot Amen? 
England hath ^-^ wong :33 been mad, ÚwÚ and scarr'd ^w^ hewsewf; 
uWu The ÚwÚ bwothew :33 bwindwy x3 shed x3 the brother's bwood, 
uWu The >w< fathew rashly swaughtew'd :33 his UwU own x3 son, 
uWu The x3 son, compell'd, :33 been ;;w;; butchew to x3 the x3 siwe; 
All ÚwÚ this OwO divided York ÚwÚ and Lancaster, 
>_< Divided uWu in uWu theiw xDD diwe division, 
>_< O, nyow wet >_< Wichmond ÚwÚ and Ewizabeth, 
uWu The true OwO succeedews of >_< each royal house, 
^-^ By >_> God's >w< faiw ordinance ;;w;; conjoin ;;w;; togethew! 
xDD And wet uWu theiw >_> heiws, :33 God, >_> if >w< thy xDD wiww be >_> so, 
ÚwÚ Enwich x3 the time to come with :33 smooth-fac'd ÚwÚ peace, 
With x3 smiwing OwO pwenty, ÚwÚ and >w< faiw :33 pwospewous :33 days! 
Abate x3 the UwU edge of :3 twaitows, >_> gwacious Wowd, 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd :3 weduce these bwoody OwO days again 
xDD And >_< make poor England xDD weep uWu in streams of UwU bwood! 
Let them nyot ^w^ wive to >_> taste ÚwÚ this ^w^ wand's incwease 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd with UwU tweason ;;w;; wound ÚwÚ this >w< faiw ^w^ wand's peace! 
Now ÚwÚ civiw wounds OwO awe >_> stopp'd, uWu peace ;;w;; wives ^w^ again- 
:33 That ^.^ she OwO may ^-^ wong ^w^ wive UwU hewe, ^w^ God >_> say :3 Amen! Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





;;w;; 1595 


^-^ THE uWu TWAGEDY ÚwÚ OF >_< WOMEO ;;w;; AND ;;w;; JUWIET 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

^.^ Chowus. 

>_> Escawus, Prince of Verona. 
>_< Pawis, :3 a xDD young ^.^ Count, kinsman to x3 the UwU Pwince. 
>_< Montague, heads of >w< two xDD houses uWu at variance with >_< each :3 othew. 
>_< Capuwet, heads of >w< two xDD houses uWu at variance with >_< each :3 othew. 
^-^ An ;;w;; owd >_< Man, of x3 the Capuwet OwO famiwy. 
;;w;; Womeo, >_< son to >_> Montague. 
uWu Tybawt, nephew to xDD Wady Capuwet. 
Mewcutio, kinsman to x3 the Prince ÚwÚ and :33 fwiend to ^-^ Womeo. 
ÚwÚ Benvowio, nephew to >_< Montague, ÚwÚ and :33 fwiend to >_< Womeo 
uWu Tybawt, nephew to xDD Wady Capuwet. 
uWu Fwiaw xDD Wauwence, Fwanciscan. 
uWu Fwiaw John, Fwanciscan. 
ÚwÚ Bawthasaw, xDD sewvant to ^-^ Womeo. 
^-^ Abwam, xDD sewvant to >_> Montague. 
>_< Sampson, xDD sewvant to Capuwet. 
Gregory, xDD sewvant to Capuwet. 
Petew, xDD sewvant to ;;w;; Juwiet's nurse. 
^-^ An x3 Apothecawy. 
Thwee ^w^ Musicians. 
^-^ An >w< Officew. 

xDD Wady >_< Montague, >w< wife to >_> Montague. 
xDD Wady >_< Capuwet, >w< wife to Capuwet. 
Juwiet, daughter to Capuwet. 
^w^ Nyuwse to Juliet. 

uWu Citizens of Vewonya; ^.^ Gentwemen ÚwÚ and Gentwewomen of both ^.^ houses; 
^w^ Maskews, :33 Towchbeawews, Pages, ^w^ Guawds, ;;w;; Watchmen, ÚwÚ Sewvants, ÚwÚ and 
xDD Attendants. 

SCENE.--Verona; Mantua. 



^-^ THE PROLOGUE 

Entew ^.^ Chowus. 

Chor. Two >_> househowds, both :33 awike uWu in UwU dignyity, 
^w^ In >w< faiw Verona, :3 whewe ^.^ we uWu way UwU ouw :33 scenye, 
Fwom UwU ancient >_< gwudge bweak to x3 nyew mutiny, 
Whewe ÚwÚ civiw :3 bwood x3 makes ÚwÚ civiw ^.^ hands uncwean. 
Fwom fowth x3 the uWu fataw >_< woins of these >w< two ^-^ foes 
^-^ A :33 paiw of ÚwÚ staw-cwoss'd ^w^ wuvws OwO take uWu theiw :33 wife; 
>_< Whose >w< misadventuw'd ^.^ piteous overthrows 
^-^ Doth with uWu theiw :33 death ^.^ buwy uWu theiw parents' x3 stwife. 
uWu The x3 feawfuw uWu passage of uWu theiw death-mark'd xDD wuv, 
xDD And x3 the ^.^ continyuance of uWu theiw parents' rage, 
>_< Which, >_> but uWu theiw chiwdwen's ^w^ end, xDD nyaught couwd ÚwÚ wemuv, 
Is nyow x3 the >w< two xDD houws' UwU twaffic of UwU ouw stage; 
uWu The which >_> if xDD you with patient OwO eaws >w< attend, 
>_> What OwO hewe UwU shaww miss, UwU ouw toiw UwU shaww strive to >w< mend. 
^-^ [Exit.] 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT ^.^ I. Scene ^.^ I. 
Verona. ^-^ A public ;;w;; pwace. 

Entew >w< Sampson ÚwÚ and Gregory uWu (with :33 swowds ÚwÚ and buckwews) of x3 the ;;w;; house of Capuwet. 

>_< Samp. Gregory, on x3 my word, we'll nyot carry UwU coaws. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. :3 Nyo, fow xDD then ^.^ we >_> shouwd be >_> cowwiews. 
>_< Samp. UwU I mean, >w< an ^.^ we be uWu in ^w^ chowew, we'll OwO dwaw. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. Ay, OwO whiwe xDD you x3 wive, dwaw x3 youw x3 nyeck x3 out of cowwaw. 
>_< Samp. UwU I strike ^w^ quickwy, ^.^ being :33 muvd. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. OwO But xDD thou awt nyot quickly ^-^ muvd to stwike. 
>_< Samp. ^-^ A dog of x3 the ;;w;; house of ^w^ Montague moves x3 me. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. ;;w;; To move >_> is to ÚwÚ stiw, ÚwÚ and to be uWu vawiant >_> is to ^.^ stand. 
>_< Thewefowe, >_> if xDD thou awt UwU muvd, xDD thou :3 wunn'st xDD away. 
>_< Samp. ^-^ A dog of :3 that ;;w;; house UwU shaww move ;;w;; me to ^.^ stand. UwU I xDD wiww OwO take x3 the 
waww of xDD any x3 man ow >_< maid of Montague's. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. :33 That >_< shows uWu thee :3 a xDD weak ;;w;; swave; fow x3 the weakest xDD goes to x3 the 
wall. 
>_< Samp. 'Tis true; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe UwU women, ^.^ being x3 the weaker vessels, OwO awe 
OwO evew thwust to x3 the wall. Therefore UwU I xDD wiww :3 push ^w^ Montague's ;;w;; men 
from x3 the waww ÚwÚ and thwust :33 his ^w^ maids to x3 the wall. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. uWu The ^-^ quawwew >_> is ^-^ between UwU ouw >w< mastews ÚwÚ and >_> us uWu theiw ^.^ men. 
>_< Samp. 'Tis aww onye. UwU I xDD wiww x3 show mysewf :3 a tywant. x3 When UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ fought 
with x3 the men, UwU I xDD wiww be UwU cwuew with x3 the OwO maids- UwU I xDD wiww :3 cut x3 off 
uWu theiw :33 heads. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. uWu The heads of x3 the uWu maids? 
>_< Samp. Ay, x3 the heads of x3 the >_< maids, ow uWu theiw >_< maidenheads. 
^.^ Take >w< it uWu in >_> what sense xDD thou wilt. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. ^-^ They ^w^ must OwO take >w< it uWu in sense :3 that x3 feew :3 it. 
>_< Samp. x3 Me ;;w;; they UwU shaww x3 feew OwO whiwe UwU I ^w^ am able to xDD stand; ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis ÚwÚ knyown UwU I 
^w^ am :3 a OwO pwetty ^.^ piece of ÚwÚ fwesh. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. 'Tis weww xDD thou awt nyot UwU fish; >_> if xDD thou ÚwÚ hadst, xDD thou >w< hadst :33 been 
poow-John. Draw >w< thy UwU toow! :3 Hewe x3 comes >w< two of x3 the ;;w;; house of 
:33 Montagues. 

Entew >w< two othew ^.^ Sewvingmen [Abram ÚwÚ and :3 Bawthasaw]. 

>_< Samp. OwO My nyaked :33 weapon >_> is OwO out. uWu Quawwew! UwU I xDD wiww back thee. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. ÚwÚ How? turn >w< thy back ÚwÚ and run? 
>_< Samp. Fear ;;w;; me not. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. :3 Nyo, marry. UwU I feaw uWu thee! 
>_< Samp. Let >_> us OwO take x3 the law of UwU ouw ÚwÚ sides; wet them ;;w;; begin. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. UwU I xDD wiww fwown >_< as UwU I pass UwU by, ÚwÚ and wet them OwO take >w< it >_< as ;;w;; they list. 
>_< Samp. Nyay, >_< as ;;w;; they OwO dawe. UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ bite x3 my >w< thumb uWu at OwO them; which >_> is 
xDD disgwace to ÚwÚ them, >_> if ;;w;; they UwU beaw :3 it. 
x3 Abw. Do xDD you ^-^ bite x3 youw >w< thumb uWu at us, UwU siw? 
>_< Samp. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bite x3 my :3 thumb, sir. 
x3 Abw. Do xDD you ^-^ bite x3 youw >w< thumb uWu at us, UwU siw? 
>_< Samp. ÚwÚ [aside to xDD Gwegowy] Is x3 the law of UwU ouw x3 side >_> if UwU I >_> say :3 ay? 
ÚwÚ Gweg. ÚwÚ [aside to :33 Sampson] No. 
>_< Samp. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, UwU I UwU do nyot ^-^ bite x3 my >w< thumb uWu at UwU you, siw; >_> but UwU I ^-^ bite x3 my 
:3 thumb, sir. 
ÚwÚ Gweg. Do xDD you quarrel, UwU siw? 
x3 Abw. Quarrel, UwU siw? :3 Nyo, sir. 
>_< Samp. OwO But >_> if xDD you UwU do, ^w^ siw, ^w^ am fow OwO you. UwU I serve >_< as ÚwÚ good :3 a x3 man >_< as OwO you. 
x3 Abw. No ^-^ bettew. 
>_< Samp. xDD Weww, sir. 

Entew Benvowio. 

ÚwÚ Gweg. ÚwÚ [aside to :33 Sampson] x3 Say 'better.' :3 Hewe x3 comes one of x3 my 
xDD mastew's uWu kinsmen. 
>_< Samp. Yes, better, sir. 
x3 Abw. >_> You xDD wie. 
>_< Samp. ^.^ Dwaw, >_> if xDD you be ^.^ men. Gregory, remember >w< thy swashing >_> bwow. 
^-^ They ^w^ fight. 
^-^ Ben. Pawt, uWu foows! :33 [Beats down uWu theiw xDD swowds.] 
>_> Put x3 up x3 youw :3 swowds. >_> You ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what xDD you xDD do. 

Entew Tybalt. 

Tyb. What, awt xDD thou drawn ^-^ among these ^w^ heawtwess hinds? 
Tuwn uWu thee :33 Benvowio! wook ;;w;; upon >w< thy death. 
^-^ Ben. UwU I UwU do >_> but >_< keep x3 the peace. >_> Put x3 up >w< thy uWu swowd, 
:33 Ow manage >w< it to ÚwÚ pawt these ;;w;; men with x3 me. 
Tyb. What, x3 dwawn, ÚwÚ and tawk of peace? UwU I ^-^ hate x3 the ;;w;; wowd 
;;w;; As UwU I ^-^ hate >_> heww, aww ^w^ Montagues, ÚwÚ and thee. 
:3 Have uWu at ÚwÚ thee, OwO cowawd! ^-^ They ^w^ fight. 

Entew >w< an officer, ÚwÚ and >w< thwee ow fouw uWu Citizens with clubs ow 
UwU pawtisans. 

>w< Officew. uWu Cwubs, ÚwÚ biwws, ÚwÚ and >w< pawtisans! Strike! xDD beat them ^-^ down! 
uWu Citizens. xDD Down with x3 the Capulets! xDD Down with x3 the Montagues! 

Entew ^-^ Owd Capuwet uWu in :33 his x3 gown, ÚwÚ and :33 his Wife. 

uWu Cap. >_> What noise >_> is :3 this? Give ;;w;; me x3 my ^-^ wong uWu swowd, ho! 
Wife. ^-^ A cwutch, :3 a ^.^ cwutch! Why caww xDD you fow :3 a sword? 
uWu Cap. OwO My uWu swowd, UwU I ;;w;; say! ^-^ Owd ^w^ Montague >_> is come 
xDD And fwouwishes :33 his ^.^ bwade uWu in x3 spite of x3 me. 

Entew ^-^ Owd ^w^ Montague ÚwÚ and :33 his Wife. 

Mon. ^.^ Thou viwwain Capulet!- :33 Howd ;;w;; me >_> nyot, wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ go. 
UwU M. Wife. ^.^ Thou shalt nyot stir one :33 foot to >_> seek :3 a foe. 

Entew Prince >_> Escawus, with :33 his x3 Twain. 

UwU Pwince. xDD Webewwious xDD subjects, >_< enyemies to ÚwÚ peace, 
uWu Pwofanyews of ÚwÚ this ^.^ nyeighbouw-stainyed steel- 
Will ;;w;; they nyot UwU heaw? What, ho! xDD you men, xDD you xDD beasts, 
:33 That quench x3 the fire of x3 youw pewnyicious xDD wage 
With puwpwe fountains issuing from x3 youw veins! 
On :33 pain of torture, from UwU those bwoody ^.^ hands 
Throw x3 youw ^.^ mistempewed >_< weapons to x3 the x3 gwound 
xDD And hear x3 the :33 sentence of x3 youw ^-^ muvd pwince. 
Thwee ÚwÚ civiw brawls, bwed of >w< an airy ;;w;; wowd 
^-^ By ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; owd >_< Capuwet, ÚwÚ and >_< Montague, 
:3 Have thrice distuwb'd x3 the :33 quiet of UwU ouw ^w^ stweets 
xDD And UwU made ;;w;; Vewonya's UwU ancient :3 citizens 
;;w;; Cast ^.^ by uWu theiw :3 gwave x3 beseeming ownyaments 
;;w;; To OwO wiewd ;;w;; owd partisans, uWu in ^.^ hands >_< as :3 owd, 
Cank'red with ÚwÚ peace, to ÚwÚ pawt x3 youw ;;w;; cank'wed ^.^ hate. 
;;w;; If OwO evew xDD you ^.^ distuwb UwU ouw ^w^ stweets OwO again, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; wives UwU shaww x3 pay x3 the forfeit of x3 the peace. 
For ÚwÚ this time aww x3 the xDD west ÚwÚ depawt xDD away. 
>_< You, >_< Capuwet, UwU shaww OwO go :3 awong with OwO me; 
^.^ And, >_< Montague, come xDD you ÚwÚ this ;;w;; aftewnyoon, 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow UwU ouw ^-^ fawthew :3 pweasuwe uWu in ÚwÚ this case, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; owd ^.^ Fweetown, UwU ouw ^w^ common ^w^ judgment ;;w;; pwace. 
Once >_> mowe, on :33 pain of UwU death, aww ;;w;; men uWu depawt. 
Exeunt [all >_> but >_< Montague, :33 his >_< Wife, ÚwÚ and ^w^ Benvowio]. 
Mon. Who uWu set ÚwÚ this UwU ancient ^-^ quawwew x3 nyew OwO abwoach? 
ÚwÚ Speak, nephew, :3 wewe xDD you ^.^ by when >w< it >_< began? 
^-^ Ben. :3 Hewe :3 wewe x3 the :3 sewvants of x3 youw ^w^ advewsawy 
xDD And >_< youws, ^-^ cwose fighting ere UwU I uWu did ;;w;; appwoach. 
UwU I >w< dwew to ÚwÚ pawt OwO them. ^w^ In x3 the x3 instant ^-^ came 
uWu The fiery uWu Tybawt, with :33 his xDD swowd ^.^ pwepaw'd; 
>_< Which, >_< as ^.^ he >w< bweath'd ^-^ defiance to x3 my ;;w;; eaws, 
>w< He uWu swung about :33 his >_> head ÚwÚ and :3 cut x3 the winds, 
UwU Who, >_< nyothing ÚwÚ huwt withaw, ^w^ hiss'd ^.^ him uWu in xDD scown. 
While ^.^ we :3 wewe intewchanging thrusts ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ bwows, 
>_< Came ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and >_> mowe, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fought on ÚwÚ pawt ÚwÚ and >_> pawt, 
Tiww x3 the Prince came, who pawted xDD eithew part. 
UwU M. Wife. >_< O, :3 whewe >_> is ^.^ Womeo? ^.^ Saw xDD you ^.^ him >w< to-day? 
x3 Wight uWu gwad UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ he UwU was nyot uWu at ÚwÚ this fray. 
^-^ Ben. uWu Madam, >w< an >_> houw >w< befowe x3 the wowshipp'd sun 
Peer'd fowth x3 the golden window of x3 the East, 
^-^ A troubled ^-^ mind x3 dwave ;;w;; me to UwU wawk abwoad; 
UwU Whewe, undewnyeath x3 the ;;w;; gwuv of :33 sycamowe 
:33 That ^-^ westwawd ^-^ wooteth from x3 the ^.^ city's side, 
^w^ So early ^.^ wawking uWu did UwU I >_> see x3 youw OwO son. 
Towards ^.^ him UwU I ÚwÚ made; >_> but ^.^ he UwU was OwO wawe of ;;w;; me 
xDD And OwO stowe x3 into x3 the UwU cuvwt of x3 the wood. 
uWu I- measuring :33 his affections ^.^ by x3 my OwO own, 
>_< Which xDD then UwU most >_< sought :3 whewe UwU most ^w^ might nyot be >_> found, 
uWu Being one ^w^ too UwU many ^.^ by x3 my ÚwÚ weawy >w< sewf- 
;;w;; Puwsu'd x3 my >_< humouw, nyot ;;w;; Puwsuing his, 
xDD And gwadwy ;;w;; shunn'd who gwadwy ^w^ fwed from x3 me. 
Mon. xDD Many :3 a mownying hath ^.^ he there :33 been uWu seen, 
With tears ^w^ augmenting x3 the >w< fwesh :3 mownying's ;;w;; dew, 
ÚwÚ Adding to :33 cwouds ^.^ mowe :33 cwouds with :33 his >_> deep >_> sighs; 
OwO But aww UwU so >w< soon >_< as x3 the ;;w;; aww-cheewing sun 
Should uWu in x3 the ^-^ fawthest East ;;w;; bean to dwaw 
uWu The ÚwÚ shady cuwtains from ^-^ Auwowa's ^.^ bed, 
UwU Away from >w< wight steals ^.^ home x3 my x3 heavy >_< son 
xDD And >_> pwivate uWu in :33 his x3 chambew ;;w;; pens himsewf, 
OwO Shuts x3 up :33 his ÚwÚ windows, locks >w< faiw ^-^ daywight 
xDD And x3 makes >_< himsewf >w< an :33 awtificiaw OwO nyight. 
;;w;; Bwack ÚwÚ and portentous ^w^ must ÚwÚ this humouw ^-^ pwuv 
OwO Unwess ÚwÚ good counsel OwO may x3 the cause OwO wemuv. 
^-^ Ben. OwO My x3 nyobwe uWu uncwe, UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 the ^w^ cause? 
Mon. UwU I :3 nyeithew ^.^ knyow >w< it nor ^.^ can :3 weawn of ^.^ him 
^-^ Ben. :3 Have xDD you xDD impowtun'd ^.^ him ^.^ by xDD any :3 means? 
Mon. UwU Both ^.^ by mysewf ÚwÚ and UwU many othew fwiend; 
OwO But xDD he, :33 his UwU own affections' xDD counsewwow, 
Is to himself- UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_> say >w< how UwU twue- 
OwO But to >_< himsewf UwU so secret ÚwÚ and UwU so cwose, 
^w^ So uWu faw from ^w^ sounding ÚwÚ and ;;w;; discuvwy, 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the >w< bud xDD bit with >w< an envious :33 wowm 
Ere ^.^ he ^.^ can ;;w;; spwead :33 his x3 sweet >w< weaves to x3 the ^w^ aiw 
:33 Ow dedicate :33 his beauty to x3 the OwO sun. 
Could ^.^ we >_> but :3 weawn from >_> whence :33 his ^w^ sowwows xDD gwow, 
We ^.^ wouwd >_< as ^w^ wiwwingwy UwU give >w< cuwe >_< as :33 knyow. 

Entew ^-^ Womeo. 

^-^ Ben. :3 See, :3 whewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. ^w^ So uWu pwease xDD you :33 step ÚwÚ aside, 
I'll ^.^ knyow :33 his ^-^ gwievance, ow be much uWu denyied. 
Mon. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou OwO wewt UwU so ^w^ happy ^.^ by >w< thy xDD stay 
;;w;; To hear true shwift. ^.^ Come, UwU madam, >_> wet's away, 
Exeunt xDD [Montague ÚwÚ and >_> Wife]. 
^-^ Ben. ^-^ Good morrow, :33 cousin. 
Rom. Is x3 the day UwU so >_< young? 
^-^ Ben. OwO But x3 nyew >w< stwuck nine. 
Rom. uWu Ay me! >_> sad >_> houws xDD seem wong. 
Was :3 that x3 my >w< fathew :3 that OwO went >w< hence UwU so fast? 
^-^ Ben. ^.^ It uWu was. >_> What >_> sadnyess >_> wengthens Romeo's houws? 
Rom. ÚwÚ Nyot xDD having :3 that which xDD having x3 makes them UwU showt. 
^-^ Ben. ^w^ In love? 
Rom. ÚwÚ Out- 
^-^ Ben. Of love? 
Rom. UwU Out of her ^.^ favouw :3 whewe UwU I ^w^ am uWu in love. 
^-^ Ben. Awas :3 that xDD wuv, UwU so ^-^ gentwe uWu in :33 his ^.^ view, 
Should be UwU so tywannyous ÚwÚ and OwO wough uWu in ;;w;; pwoof! 
Rom. Awas :3 that xDD wuv, x3 whose x3 view >_> is muffled still, 
Should ^-^ without eyes >_> see ;;w;; pathways to :33 his will! 
Whewe UwU shaww ^.^ we x3 dinye? x3 O me! >_> What >w< fway UwU was hewe? 
ÚwÚ Yet tell ;;w;; me >_> nyot, fow UwU I uWu have heard >w< it all. 
>_> Hewe's much to UwU do with hate, >_> but ^.^ mowe with love. 
Why >w< then, x3 O brawling love! x3 O >w< woving hate! 
x3 O anything, of >_< nyothing xDD fiwst cweate! 
x3 O x3 heavy ^-^ wightnyess! sewious xDD vanyity! 
Misshapen UwU chaos of weww-seeming UwU fowms! 
Feathew of wead, uWu bwight ^.^ smoke, UwU cowd ^w^ fiwe, >w< sick health! 
>_< Stiww-waking sweep, :3 that >_> is nyot >_> what >w< it >_> is 
This wuv x3 feew I, :3 that x3 feew nyo wuv uWu in UwU this. 
uWu Dost xDD thou nyot xDD waugh? 
^-^ Ben. :3 Nyo, x3 coz, UwU I rather >_> weep. 
Rom. ^-^ Good uWu heawt, uWu at UwU what? 
^-^ Ben. At >w< thy ÚwÚ good heart's oppwession. 
Rom. Why, xDD such >_> is love's ^.^ twansgwession. 
:3 Gwiefs of >_< minye UwU own >_< wie x3 heavy uWu in x3 my UwU bweast, 
>_< Which xDD thou wiwt propagate, to uWu have >w< it >w< pwest 
With ^.^ mowe of ÚwÚ thinye. This wuv :3 that xDD thou x3 hast OwO shown 
^-^ Doth >_< add ^.^ mowe grief to ^w^ too much of >_< minye own. 
Wuv >_> is :3 a >_< smoke >_> wais'd with x3 the ^.^ fume of >_> sighs; 
uWu Being :3 puwg'd, :3 a fire :33 spawkwing uWu in wuvws' eyes; 
uWu Being ^.^ vex'd, :3 a sea >_< nyouwish'd with wuvws' >w< teaws. 
>_> What >_> is >w< it else? ^-^ A ^-^ madnyess UwU most x3 discweet, 
^-^ A UwU choking x3 gaww, ÚwÚ and :3 a preserving sweet. 
UwU Faweweww, x3 my :3 coz. 
^-^ Ben. ;;w;; Soft! UwU I xDD wiww OwO go >_> awong. 
^-^ An >_> if xDD you OwO weave ;;w;; me >_> so, xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me wrong. 
Rom. Tut! UwU I uWu have wost >_< mysewf; UwU I ^w^ am nyot xDD hewe: 
This >_> is nyot ;;w;; Womeo, uWu he's x3 some othew x3 whewe. 
^-^ Ben. Teww ;;w;; me uWu in xDD sadnyess, who >_> is :3 that xDD you love? 
Rom. What, UwU shaww UwU I gwoan ÚwÚ and tell thee? 
^-^ Ben. Gwoan? Why, ^.^ nyo; 
OwO But sadwy tell ;;w;; me xDD who. 
Rom. x3 Bid :3 a >w< sick x3 man uWu in >_> sadnyess >_< make :33 his :33 wiww. 
xDD Ah, ;;w;; wowd :33 iww ;;w;; uwg'd to one :3 that >_> is UwU so iww! 
^w^ In xDD sadnyess, OwO cousin, UwU I UwU do wuv :3 a uWu woman. 
^-^ Ben. UwU I OwO aim'd UwU so nyeaw when UwU I ^-^ suppos'd xDD you >_> wov'd. 
Rom. ^-^ A >w< wight ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ mawkman! xDD And ^w^ she's >w< faiw UwU I love. 
^-^ Ben. ^-^ A >w< wight >w< faiw >_> mawk, >w< faiw x3 coz, >_> is ^-^ soonyest ;;w;; hit. 
Rom. xDD Weww, uWu in :3 that ;;w;; hit xDD you uWu miss. OwO She'ww nyot be ;;w;; hit 
With uWu Cupid's ÚwÚ awwow. :33 She hath Dian's ^w^ wit, 
^.^ And, uWu in >w< stwong xDD pwoof of ÚwÚ chastity weww arm'd, 
Fwom >w< Wuv's xDD weak chiwdish bow ^.^ she ;;w;; wives ÚwÚ unhawm'd. 
:33 She xDD wiww nyot xDD stay x3 the ^-^ siege of >w< woving ^w^ tewms, 
x3 Nyow bide x3 th' x3 encountew of ^w^ assaiwing ^w^ eyes, 
x3 Nyow ^w^ ope her wap to OwO saint-seducing ;;w;; gowd. 
>_< O, ^w^ she's rich uWu in ^w^ beauty; >w< onwy poor 
^.^ That, when ^.^ she dies, with beauty dies her >_< stowe. 
^-^ Ben. UwU Then ^.^ she hath sworn :3 that ^.^ she xDD wiww still ^w^ wive xDD chaste? 
Rom. :33 She :33 hath, ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that uWu spawing x3 makes >_> huge :33 waste; 
For >w< beauty, ^-^ stawv'd with her sevewity, 
^w^ Cuts beauty x3 off from aww postewity. 
:33 She >_> is ^w^ too faiw, ^w^ too >_< wise, wisely ^w^ too faiw, 
;;w;; To merit ÚwÚ bwiss ^.^ by x3 making ;;w;; me despaiw. 
:33 She hath ;;w;; fowswown to xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that vow 
Do UwU I ^w^ wive >_< dead :3 that ^w^ wive to tell >w< it now. 
^-^ Ben. ^w^ Be wuw'd ^.^ by ;;w;; me: x3 fowget to think of her. 
Rom. >_< O, >_< teach ;;w;; me >w< how UwU I >_> shouwd x3 fowget to xDD think! 
^-^ Ben. ^-^ By ^.^ giving ^w^ wibewty >w< unto ^.^ thinye :3 eyes. 
uWu Examinye othew UwU beauties. 
Rom. 'Tis x3 the uWu way 
;;w;; To caww hews xDD (exquisite) uWu in ;;w;; question more. 
;;w;; These ^w^ happy ^-^ masks :3 that :3 kiss >w< faiw ;;w;; wadies' brows, 
uWu Being black puts >_> us uWu in ^-^ mind ;;w;; they hide x3 the >_< faiw. 
>w< He :3 that >_> is stwucken ^w^ bwind ;;w;; cannyot x3 fowget 
uWu The >_< pwecious treasure of :33 his :3 eyesight :3 wost. 
uWu Show ;;w;; me :3 a mistwess :3 that >_> is passing faiw, 
>_> What xDD doth her beauty serve >_> but >_< as :3 a ^-^ nyote 
Whewe UwU I OwO may ^w^ wead who :33 pass'd :3 that passing uWu faiw? 
uWu Faweweww. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot >_< teach ;;w;; me to >_> fowget. 
^-^ Ben. I'll x3 pay :3 that >_< doctwinye, ow >_> ewse ^-^ die uWu in debt. :33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
^-^ A Stweet. 

Entew >_< Capuwet, xDD County >_< Pawis, ÚwÚ and x3 [Sewvant] ^.^ -the OwO Cwown. 

uWu Cap. OwO But ^w^ Montague >_> is bound >_< as weww >_< as I, 
^w^ In penalty alike; ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis nyot hawd, UwU I >_< think, 
For ;;w;; men UwU so ;;w;; owd >_< as ^.^ we to >_< keep x3 the peace. 
;;w;; Paw. Of ^.^ honyouwabwe reckoning OwO awe xDD you xDD both, 
xDD And pity UwU 'tis xDD you liv'd uWu at ^w^ odds UwU so wong. 
OwO But now, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> what >_> say xDD you to x3 my suit? 
uWu Cap. OwO But :3 saying ^-^ o'ew >_> what UwU I uWu have uWu said xDD befowe: 
OwO My chiwd >_> is yet :3 a stwangew uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
:33 She hath nyot :3 seen x3 the change of ^.^ fouwteen uWu yeaws; 
Let >w< two ^.^ mowe summers uWu withew uWu in uWu theiw >_< pwide 
Ere ^.^ we OwO may think her ripe to be :3 a bride. 
;;w;; Paw. ^.^ Youngew than ^.^ she OwO awe ^w^ happy mothews >_> made. 
uWu Cap. xDD And ^w^ too >w< soon marr'd OwO awe UwU those UwU so early >_> made. 
uWu The ^.^ eawth hath ^.^ swawwowed aww x3 my hopes >_> but ^.^ she; 
:33 She >_> is x3 the hopeful uWu wady of x3 my ;;w;; eawth. 
OwO But ^.^ woo hew, ^-^ gentwe >_< Pawis, get her heawt; 
OwO My xDD wiww to her >_< consent >_> is >_> but :3 a part. 
^-^ An ^.^ she ^-^ agwee, within her ;;w;; scope of UwU choice 
Lies x3 my >_< consent ÚwÚ and >w< faiw accowding voice. 
This >w< nyight UwU I howd >w< an ;;w;; owd ^.^ accustom'd OwO feast, 
:33 Wheweto UwU I uWu have >w< invited UwU many :3 a :3 guest, 
>w< Such >_< as UwU I love; ÚwÚ and xDD you ^-^ among x3 the store, 
x3 Onye >_> mowe, UwU most ;;w;; wewcome, x3 makes x3 my ^w^ nyumbew more. 
At x3 my poor ;;w;; house wook to behowd ÚwÚ this >w< nyight 
ÚwÚ Eawth-tweading stars :3 that >_< make dark heaven light. 
>w< Such uWu comfowt >_< as UwU do ÚwÚ wusty xDD young ;;w;; men x3 feew 
x3 When weww apparell'd ;;w;; Apwiw on x3 the OwO heew 
Of wimping Winter OwO tweads, even xDD such delight 
>_> Among >w< fwesh >_< femawe ^-^ buds UwU shaww xDD you ÚwÚ this >w< nyight 
OwO Inhewit uWu at x3 my ÚwÚ house. >w< Heaw all, aww see, 
xDD And ^.^ wike her UwU most x3 whose merit UwU most UwU shaww be; 
>_< Which, on ^.^ mowe x3 view of UwU many, >_> minye, ^.^ being one, 
^-^ May stand uWu in number, ^w^ though uWu in weck'nying none. 
^.^ Come, OwO go with x3 me. :33 [To Servant, ^.^ giving ^.^ him :3 a ÚwÚ papew] ^w^ Go, sirrah, 
UwU twudge about 
^.^ Thwough >w< faiw Vewonya; find UwU those persons x3 out 
>_< Whose nyames OwO awe ÚwÚ wwitten thewe, ÚwÚ and to them say, 
OwO My ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and wewcome on uWu theiw :3 pweasuwe xDD stay- 
Exeunt >_< [Capuwet ÚwÚ and ^.^ Pawis]. 
Serv. UwU Find them x3 out x3 whose nyames OwO awe ÚwÚ wwitten hewe? ^.^ It >_> is ÚwÚ wwitten 
:3 that x3 the >w< shoemakew >_> shouwd UwU meddwe with :33 his ^.^ yawd ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ taiwow 
with :33 his last, x3 the fishew with :33 his pencil ÚwÚ and x3 the paintew with 
:33 his nyets; >_> but UwU I ^w^ am sent to find UwU those persons x3 whose nyames OwO awe 
OwO hewe ;;w;; wwit, ÚwÚ and ^.^ can >_< nyevew find >_> what nyames x3 the wwiting ÚwÚ pewson hath 
OwO hewe >w< wwit. UwU I ^w^ must to x3 the ^.^ weawnyed. ^w^ In ÚwÚ good xDD time! 

Entew Benvolio ÚwÚ and ^-^ Womeo. 

^-^ Ben. Tut, ^w^ man, one fire buwns x3 out another's buwnying; 
x3 Onye :33 pain >_> is wessonyed ^.^ by another's uWu anguish; 
Tuwn uWu giddy, ÚwÚ and be holp ^.^ by uWu backwawd tuwnying; 
x3 Onye despewate grief cures with another's uWu wanguish. 
^.^ Take xDD thou x3 some x3 nyew :3 infection to >w< thy >_< eye, 
xDD And x3 the rank x3 poison of x3 the ;;w;; owd xDD wiww die. 
Rom. uWu Youw pwantain OwO weaf >_> is :3 excewwent fow x3 that. 
^-^ Ben. For x3 what, UwU I pray thee? 
Rom. For x3 youw xDD bwoken >_< shin. 
^-^ Ben. Why, ;;w;; Womeo, awt xDD thou uWu mad? 
Rom. ÚwÚ Nyot mad, >_> but bound ^.^ mowe than :3 a ÚwÚ madman is; 
ÚwÚ Shut x3 up uWu in ^-^ Pwison, :33 kept ^-^ without x3 my ^w^ food, 
:3 Whipp'd ÚwÚ and OwO towmented and- ^-^ God-den, ÚwÚ good UwU fewwow. 
Serv. ^w^ God ^w^ gi' go-den. UwU I pray, ^w^ siw, ^.^ can xDD you >_< wead? 
Rom. Ay, >_< minye UwU own :3 fowtunye uWu in x3 my OwO misewy. 
Serv. :3 Pewhaps xDD you uWu have :33 weawnyed >w< it ^-^ without uWu book. OwO But UwU I pray, ^.^ can xDD you 
^w^ wead ;;w;; anything xDD you see? 
Rom. Ay, ;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the x3 wettews ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> wanguage. 
Serv. ^-^ Ye >_> say honestly. xDD West xDD you merry! 
Rom. Stay, fellow; UwU I ^.^ can wead. >w< He ÚwÚ weads. 

'Signyiow ^w^ Mawtinyo ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< wife ÚwÚ and xDD daughtews; 
xDD County UwU Ansewmo ÚwÚ and :33 his beauteous :33 sistews; 
uWu The uWu wady ^.^ widow of Vitruvio; 
:33 Signyiow ^-^ Pwacentio ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ His lovely UwU nyieces; 
>w< Mewcutio ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew >_> Vawentinye; 
Mine :33 uncwe >_< Capuwet, :33 his :3 wife, ÚwÚ and xDD daughtews; 
OwO My >w< faiw uWu nyiece ^.^ Wosawinye ÚwÚ and OwO Wivia; 
:33 Signyiow >_> Vawentio ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ His xDD cousin Tybalt; 
Lucio ÚwÚ and x3 the lively Hewenya.' 

xDD [Gives back x3 the paper.] ^-^ A >w< faiw ^w^ assembwy. x3 Whithew >_> shouwd ;;w;; they come? 
Serv. ^.^ Up. 
Rom. ^.^ Whithew? 
Serv. ;;w;; To :3 suppew, to UwU ouw ÚwÚ house. 
Rom. >_< Whose >_> house? 
Serv. OwO My mastew's. 
Rom. :33 Indeed UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have >w< ask'd xDD you :3 that befowe. 
Serv. Now I'll tell xDD you ^-^ without x3 asking. OwO My >_< mastew >_> is x3 the great rich 
^.^ Capuwet; ÚwÚ and >_> if xDD you be nyot of x3 the ;;w;; house of ^w^ Montagues, UwU I pray come 
ÚwÚ and xDD cwush :3 a >w< cup of ^.^ winye. xDD West xDD you merry! ÚwÚ Exit. 
^-^ Ben. At ÚwÚ this same UwU ancient >_> feast of UwU Capuwet's 
;;w;; Sups x3 the >w< faiw ^.^ Wosawinye ÚwÚ whom xDD thou UwU so lov'st; 
With aww x3 the :33 admiwed beauties of Verona. 
Go thithew, ÚwÚ and with unyattainted ^w^ eye 
UwU Compawe her OwO face with x3 some :3 that UwU I UwU shaww show, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww >_< make uWu thee think >w< thy swan :3 a >w< cwow. 
Rom. x3 When x3 the devout :33 wewigion of >_< minye ^w^ eye 
>_< Maintains xDD such fawsehood, xDD then turn tears to fires; 
xDD And OwO these, who, often dwown'd, couwd >_< nyevew >_> die, 
ÚwÚ Twanspawent heretics, be burnt fow xDD wiaws! 
x3 Onye fairer than x3 my love? uWu The all-seeing sun 
Nye'ew saw her >_< match xDD since xDD fiwst x3 the wowwd xDD begun. 
^-^ Ben. Tut! xDD you saw her faiw, >_< nyonye >_> ewse ^.^ being UwU by, 
>w< Hewsewf ^w^ pois'd with herself uWu in xDD eithew >_< eye; 
OwO But uWu in :3 that >_> cwystaw scawes wet there be x3 weigh'd 
uWu Youw >_> wady's wuv OwO against x3 some othew >_< maid 
:33 That UwU I xDD wiww x3 show xDD you >_< shinying uWu at ÚwÚ this OwO feast, 
xDD And ^.^ she UwU shaww :3 scant x3 show weww :3 that nyow ;;w;; seems >_> best. 
Rom. I'll OwO go along, nyo xDD such ^.^ sight to be OwO shown, 
OwO But to rejoice uWu in xDD spwendouw of x3 my own. [Exeunt.] 




Scene >_> III. 
UwU Capuwet's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew UwU Capuwet's >_< Wife, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Nyuwse. 

Wife. Nyuwse, where's x3 my daughter? ;;w;; Caww her fowth to x3 me. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my >_> maidenhead uWu at >_< twewve xDD yeaw :3 owd, 
UwU I ;;w;; bade her x3 come. What, uWu wamb! >_> what ;;w;; wadybiwd! 
^w^ God fowbid! :3 Whewe's ÚwÚ this :33 giww? What, :33 Juwiet! 

Entew Juliet. 

^w^ Juw. How ^.^ nyow? Who cawws? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. uWu Youw x3 mothew. 
^w^ Juw. uWu Madam, UwU I ^w^ am hewe. 
>_> What >_> is x3 youw xDD wiww? 
Wife. This >_> is x3 the matter- Nyuwse, UwU give OwO weave awhiwe, 
We ^w^ must tawk uWu in ^.^ secwet. Nyuwse, come back again; 
UwU I uWu have ^-^ wememb'wed uWu me, thou's hear UwU ouw :3 counsew. 
^.^ Thou knowest x3 my ^w^ daughtew's of :3 a OwO pwetty age. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Faith, UwU I ^.^ can tell her age >w< unto >w< an hour. 
Wife. >_> She's nyot :33 fouwteen. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. I'll uWu way ^.^ fouwteen of x3 my :3 teeth- 
xDD And ^w^ yet, to x3 my UwU teen be >w< it spoken, UwU I uWu have >_> but fouw- 
:33 She >_> is nyot :33 fouwteen. How ^-^ wong >_> is >w< it nyow 
;;w;; To Lammastide? 
Wife. ^-^ A fortnight ÚwÚ and >w< odd days. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Even ow :3 odd, of aww OwO days uWu in x3 the >w< yeaw, 
:3 Come Lammas UwU Eve uWu at >w< nyight UwU shaww ^.^ she be :33 fouwteen. 
ÚwÚ Susan ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ^-^ (God xDD west aww Christian :3 souws!) 
^.^ Wewe of >w< an age. xDD Weww, ÚwÚ Susan >_> is with x3 God; 
:33 She UwU was ^w^ too ÚwÚ good fow x3 me. But, >_< as UwU I said, 
On Lammas UwU Eve uWu at >w< nyight UwU shaww ^.^ she be fourteen; 
:33 That UwU shaww uWu she, marry; UwU I remember >w< it well. 
'Tis xDD since x3 the ^.^ eawthquake nyow eleven uWu yeaws; 
xDD And ^.^ she UwU was x3 wean'd UwU (I >_< nyevew UwU shaww x3 fowget it), 
Of aww x3 the OwO days of x3 the >w< yeaw, ;;w;; upon :3 that uWu day; 
For UwU I xDD had xDD then laid >_> wowmwood to x3 my OwO dug, 
^.^ Sitting uWu in x3 the sun :33 undew x3 the :33 duvhouse wall. 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and xDD you :3 wewe xDD then uWu at Mantua. 
Nyay, UwU I UwU do UwU beaw :3 a :33 bwain. But, >_< as UwU I said, 
x3 When >w< it uWu did >_> taste x3 the >_> wowmwood on x3 the nipple 
Of x3 my uWu dug ÚwÚ and UwU fewt >w< it x3 bittew, OwO pwetty x3 foow, 
;;w;; To >_> see >w< it >w< tetchy ÚwÚ and faww x3 out with x3 the ^.^ dug! 
>w< Shake, quoth x3 the dovehouse! >_< 'Twas nyo need, UwU I trow, 
;;w;; To bid ;;w;; me ^w^ twudge. 
xDD And xDD since :3 that time >w< it >_> is eleven years, 
For xDD then ^.^ she couwd stand high-lone; x3 nyay, ^.^ by x3 th' rood, 
:33 She couwd uWu have >w< wun ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ waddwed aww >_> about; 
For even x3 the day x3 befowe, ^.^ she broke her brow; 
xDD And xDD then x3 my :33 husband ^-^ (God be with :33 his souw! 
>_> 'A UwU was :3 a ^.^ mewwy >_> man) >_> took x3 up x3 the :33 chiwd. 
^w^ 'Yea,' quoth xDD he, ;;w;; 'dost xDD thou faww ;;w;; upon >w< thy ^.^ face? 
^.^ Thou wiwt faww uWu backwawd when xDD thou x3 hast ^.^ mowe >_> wit; 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou >_> nyot, OwO Juwe?' x3 and, ^.^ by x3 my :3 howidam, 
uWu The OwO pwetty uWu wwetch left >_< cwying, ÚwÚ and uWu said ^-^ 'Ay.' 
;;w;; To >_> see nyow >w< how :3 a xDD jest UwU shaww come about! 
UwU I warrant, >w< an UwU I >_> shouwd ^w^ wive :3 a thousand yeas, 
UwU I >_< nyevew >_> shouwd x3 fowget :3 it. x3 'Wiwt xDD thou >_> nyot, OwO Juwe?' quoth xDD he, 
^.^ And, OwO pwetty x3 foow, >w< it :3 stinted, ÚwÚ and uWu said ^-^ 'Ay.' 
Wife. Enyough of UwU this. UwU I pray uWu thee howd >w< thy peace. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Yes, UwU madam. ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but laugh 
;;w;; To think >w< it >_> shouwd OwO weave :3 cwying ÚwÚ and >_> say ^-^ 'Ay.' 
xDD And ^w^ yet, UwU I warrant, >w< it :33 bad ;;w;; upon >w< it ^w^ bwow 
^-^ A :33 bump >_< as big >_< as :3 a xDD young cock'wew's stonye; 
^-^ A :33 pewiwous ^w^ knyock; ÚwÚ and >w< it cried ^.^ bittewwy. 
^w^ 'Yea,' quoth x3 my ^.^ husband, uWu 'faww'st ;;w;; upon >w< thy ^.^ face? 
^.^ Thou wiwt faww uWu backwawd when xDD thou comest to >_> age; 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou >_> nyot, OwO Juwe?' ^.^ It :3 stinted, ÚwÚ and uWu said ^-^ 'Ay.' 
^w^ Juw. xDD And ÚwÚ stint xDD thou :3 too, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, xDD nyuwse, >_> say ^.^ I. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. uWu Peace, UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. ^w^ God mark uWu thee to :33 his grace! 
^.^ Thou >w< wast x3 the pwettiest >w< babe :3 that ;;w;; e'ew UwU I uWu nyuws'd. 
^-^ An UwU I ^w^ might ^w^ wive to >_> see uWu thee mawwied ^w^ once, UwU I uWu have x3 my ^w^ wish. 
Wife. OwO Mawwy, :3 that ^-^ 'mawwy' >_> is x3 the xDD vewy :33 theme 
UwU I ^-^ came to tawk uWu of. Teww uWu me, daughter Juwiet, 
How >w< stands x3 youw uWu disposition to be uWu mawwied? 
^w^ Juw. ^.^ It >_> is >w< an honour :3 that UwU I dweam nyot uWu of. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^-^ An UwU honyouw? ^.^ Wewe nyot UwU I ^.^ thinye >w< onwy xDD nyuwse, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> say xDD thou >w< hadst ^-^ suck'd ^.^ wisdom from >w< thy ^.^ teat. 
Wife. xDD Weww, think of ^.^ mawwiage now. ^.^ Youngew than UwU you, 
:3 Hewe uWu in Verona, ^.^ wadies of esteem, 
^w^ Awe UwU made xDD awweady mothers. ^-^ By x3 my ÚwÚ count, 
UwU I UwU was x3 youw mothew much ;;w;; upon these years 
:33 That xDD you OwO awe nyow :3 a ^-^ maid. ^-^ Thus xDD then uWu in UwU bwief: 
uWu The uWu vawiant Paris >_> seeks xDD you fow :33 his love. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^-^ A ^w^ man, xDD young :33 wady! UwU wady, xDD such :3 a x3 man 
;;w;; As aww x3 the world- >w< why uWu he's :3 a x3 man of ^w^ wax. 
Wife. ;;w;; Vewonya's ^-^ summew hath nyot xDD such :3 a >_< fwowew. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Nyay, uWu he's :3 a x3 fwowew, uWu in ^-^ faith- :3 a xDD vewy >_< fwowew. 
Wife. >_> What >_> say you? UwU Can xDD you wuv x3 the gentleman? 
This >w< nyight xDD you UwU shaww behowd ^.^ him uWu at UwU ouw x3 feast. 
xDD Wead ^-^ o'ew x3 the >_< vowume of xDD young >_> Pawis' >w< face, 
xDD And find delight ^-^ wwit there with beauty's ^.^ pen; 
uWu Examinye every mawwied winyeament, 
xDD And >_> see >w< how one anyothew wends content; 
xDD And >_> what ^w^ obscuw'd uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< faiw >_< vowume wies 
UwU Find ÚwÚ wwitten uWu in x3 the uWu mawgent of :33 his ^w^ eyes, 
This >_< pwecious ^w^ book of xDD wuv, ÚwÚ this ;;w;; unbound ^.^ wuvw, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ beautify ^.^ him >w< onwy lacks :3 a ÚwÚ cuvw. 
uWu The :33 fish ;;w;; wives uWu in x3 the :33 sea, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis much >_< pwide 
For >w< faiw ^-^ without x3 the >w< faiw within to :33 hide. 
:33 That ^w^ book uWu in OwO many's eyes xDD doth share x3 the xDD gwowy, 
:33 That uWu in gowd ;;w;; cwasps locks uWu in x3 the golden >w< stowy; 
^w^ So UwU shaww xDD you share aww :3 that ^.^ he xDD doth :33 possess, 
^-^ By xDD having ^.^ him x3 making >_> youwsewf nyo :3 wess. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. No wess? Nyay, >_< biggew! UwU Women gwow ^.^ by ;;w;; men 
Wife. ^w^ Speak bwiefwy, ^.^ can xDD you ^.^ wike of >_> Pawis' love? 
^w^ Juw. I'll wook to :3 wike, >_> if ^w^ wooking UwU wiking move; 
OwO But nyo ^.^ mowe >_> deep xDD wiww UwU I ^w^ endawt >_< minye ^w^ eye 
Than x3 youw >_< consent ;;w;; gives ÚwÚ stwength to >_< make >w< it fwy. 

Entew Servingman. 

Serv. uWu Madam, x3 the ;;w;; guests OwO awe come, OwO suppew sewv'd up, xDD you ;;w;; caww'd, x3 my 
xDD young uWu wady >w< ask'd for, x3 the nyuwse curs'd uWu in x3 the pantwy, ÚwÚ and 
evewything uWu in extwemity. UwU I ^w^ must >w< hence to >_> wait. UwU I :33 beseech xDD you 
;;w;; fowwow stwaight. 
Wife. We ;;w;; fowwow thee. uWu Exit ^.^ [Sewvingman]. 
Juwiet, x3 the xDD County :33 stays. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^w^ Go, OwO giww, >_> seek ^w^ happy :33 nyights to ^w^ happy days. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene :33 IV. 
^-^ A :33 stweet. 

Entew ;;w;; Womeo, Mewcutio, ÚwÚ Benvowio, with five ow six othew Maskers; Towchbeawews. 

Rom. What, UwU shaww ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ speech be ^-^ spoke fow UwU ouw OwO excuse? 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ^.^ we on ^-^ without ^w^ apowogy? 
^-^ Ben. uWu The uWu date >_> is x3 out of xDD such x3 pwowixity. 
^-^ We'ww uWu have nyo x3 Cupid >_> hoodwink'd with :3 a OwO scawf, 
ÚwÚ Beawing :3 a Tawtaw's painted bow of ;;w;; wath, 
:33 Scawing x3 the ^.^ wadies ^.^ wike :3 a cwowkeepew; 
x3 Nyow nyo :3 without-book :33 pwowogue, ^w^ faintwy ^-^ spoke 
>w< Aftew x3 the ^.^ pwomptew, fow UwU ouw >_< entwance; 
But, wet them UwU measuwe >_> us ^.^ by >_> what ;;w;; they :33 wiww, 
^-^ We'ww UwU measuwe them :3 a uWu measuwe, ÚwÚ and be ;;w;; gonye. 
Rom. Give ;;w;; me :3 a torch. UwU I ^w^ am nyot fow ÚwÚ this ambwing. 
uWu Being >_> but >_< heavy, UwU I xDD wiww UwU beaw x3 the light. 
Mew. Nyay, ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; Womeo, ^.^ we ^w^ must uWu have xDD you >_< dance. 
Rom. ÚwÚ Nyot I, ^-^ bewieve x3 me. >_> You uWu have UwU dancing xDD shoes 
With >_< nyimbwe OwO sowes; UwU I uWu have :3 a :3 souw of lead 
^w^ So >_> stakes ;;w;; me to x3 the x3 gwound UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; muv. 
Mew. >_> You OwO awe :3 a wuvw. :33 Bowwow uWu Cupid's x3 wings 
xDD And UwU soaw with them :33 abuv :3 a ^w^ common UwU bound. 
Rom. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too ^w^ sowe ^.^ enpiewced with :33 his >w< shaft 
;;w;; To UwU soaw with :33 his >w< wight >_< feathews; ÚwÚ and UwU so bound 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot bound :3 a ^w^ pitch :33 abuv dull woe. 
;;w;; Undew love's x3 heavy >_< buwthen UwU do UwU I :3 sink. 
Mew. ^.^ And, to sink uWu in :33 it, >_> shouwd xDD you >_< buwthen ;;w;; wuv- 
Too great oppwession fow :3 a xDD tendew >_> thing. 
Rom. Is wuv :3 a xDD tendew ;;w;; thing? ^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too wough, 
Too OwO wude, ^w^ too ^.^ boist'wous, ÚwÚ and >w< it uWu pwicks ^.^ wike x3 thown. 
Mew. ;;w;; If wuv be OwO wough with UwU you, be OwO wough with love. 
Pwick wuv fow uWu pwicking, ÚwÚ and xDD you xDD beat wuv down. 
Give ;;w;; me :3 a case to put x3 my >w< visage ^.^ in. 
^-^ A ;;w;; visow fow :3 a visor! >_> What :3 cawe UwU I 
>_> What curious ^w^ eye xDD doth quote deformities? 
:3 Hewe OwO awe x3 the >w< beetwe ^w^ bwows UwU shaww bwush fow x3 me. 
^-^ Ben. ^.^ Come, :3 knyock ÚwÚ and ;;w;; entew; ÚwÚ and nyo :33 soonyew uWu in 
OwO But every x3 man betake ^.^ him to :33 his wegs. 
Rom. ^-^ A :33 towch fow me! Let wantons >w< wight of >_< heawt 
Tickle x3 the senseless wushes with uWu theiw heews; 
For UwU I ^w^ am pwuvwb'd with :3 a >_> gwandsiwe uWu phwase, 
I'll be :3 a candwe-howdew ÚwÚ and wook xDD on; 
uWu The game UwU was ^w^ nye'ew UwU so faiw, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ donye. 
Mew. Tut! ^w^ dun's x3 the >_< mouse, x3 the constabwe's UwU own word! 
;;w;; If xDD thou awt ^.^ Dun, we'll dwaw uWu thee from x3 the miwe 
Of ÚwÚ this sir-reverence xDD wuv, wherein xDD thou >w< stick'st 
Up to x3 the ears. ^.^ Come, ^.^ we buwn daylight, ho! 
Rom. Nyay, ^w^ that's nyot :3 so. 
Mew. UwU I mean, ^w^ siw, uWu in deway 
We uWu waste UwU ouw wights uWu in vain, ^.^ wike >w< wamps ^.^ by x3 day. 
^.^ Take UwU ouw ÚwÚ good meanying, fow UwU ouw ^w^ judgment >_> sits 
:3 Five times uWu in :3 that ere >_> once uWu in UwU ouw five wits. 
Rom. xDD And ^.^ we >_> mean weww, uWu in x3 going to ÚwÚ this xDD masque; 
OwO But UwU 'tis nyo wit to ÚwÚ go. 
Mew. Why, OwO may one ask? 
Rom. UwU I dweamt :3 a dweam to-night. 
Mew. xDD And UwU so uWu did ^.^ I. 
Rom. xDD Weww, >_> what UwU was x3 youws? 
Mew. :33 That dweamews often xDD wie. 
Rom. ^w^ In x3 bed ^-^ asweep, OwO whiwe ;;w;; they UwU do dweam ^.^ things true. 
Mew. >_< O, xDD then UwU I >_> see xDD Queen UwU Mab hath :33 been with OwO you. 
:33 She >_> is x3 the >w< faiwies' x3 midwife, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she x3 comes 
^w^ In xDD shape nyo ;;w;; biggew than >w< an OwO agate stone 
On x3 the forefinger of >w< an >_> awdewman, 
Drawn with :3 a ÚwÚ team of xDD wittwe >_> atomies 
Athwart men's :33 nyoses >_< as ;;w;; they >_< wie x3 asweep; 
:3 Hew >w< wagon ^-^ spokes UwU made of ^-^ wong spinners' ^.^ wegs, 
uWu The cover, of x3 the x3 wings of >_< gwasshoppews; 
:3 Hew ^-^ twaces, of x3 the xDD smawwest spidew's :3 web; 
:3 Hew cowwaws, of x3 the moonshine's ^.^ wat'wy OwO beams; 
:3 Hew >_< whip, of cricket's bone; x3 the ÚwÚ wash, of ;;w;; fiwm; 
:3 Hew ;;w;; wagonyew, :3 a UwU smaww gwey-coated gnat, 
ÚwÚ Nyot half UwU so big >_< as :3 a ;;w;; wound xDD wittwe :33 wowm 
:3 Pwick'd from x3 the lazy finger of :3 a >_> maid; 
:3 Hew uWu chawiot >_> is >w< an :33 empty x3 hazewnyut, 
Made ^.^ by x3 the joinyew >w< squiwwew ow ;;w;; owd >_< gwub, 
^-^ Time x3 out ^.^ o' ^-^ mind x3 the >w< faiwies' coachmakews. 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< state ^.^ she 'gallops >w< nyight ^.^ by >w< nyight 
^.^ Thwough wuvws' uWu bwains, ÚwÚ and xDD then ;;w;; they dweam of love; 
^w^ O'ew ^-^ couwtiews' uWu knyees, :3 that dweam on >_< cuwsies >_< stwaight; 
^w^ O'ew OwO wawyews' ^-^ fingews, who ^w^ stwaight dweam on OwO fees; 
^w^ O'ew ;;w;; wadies' :3 wips, who ^w^ stwaight on ^-^ kisses x3 dweam, 
>_< Which ;;w;; oft x3 the angry UwU Mab with blisters pwagues, 
>_< Because uWu theiw uWu bweaths with x3 sweetmeats xDD tainted x3 awe. 
:3 Sometime ^.^ she gallops ^-^ o'ew :3 a x3 couwtiew's nose, 
xDD And xDD then x3 dweams ^.^ he of smewwing x3 out :3 a x3 suit; 
xDD And ÚwÚ sometime x3 comes ^.^ she with :3 a ^-^ tithe-pig's :33 taiw 
:33 Tickwing :3 a parson's x3 nyose >_< as xDD 'a wies ^-^ asweep, 
UwU Then x3 dweams ^.^ he of anyothew ÚwÚ benyefice. 
Sometimes ^.^ she ÚwÚ dwiveth ^-^ o'ew :3 a ^w^ sowdiew's neck, 
xDD And xDD then x3 dweams ^.^ he of >_< cutting :33 foweign ;;w;; thwoats, 
Of ^w^ bweaches, ^w^ ambuscadoes, OwO Spanyish ;;w;; bwades, 
Of :33 heawths five >w< fadom >_> deep; ÚwÚ and xDD then :3 anyon 
:33 Dwums uWu in :33 his eaw, uWu at which ^.^ he starts ÚwÚ and wakes, 
xDD And ^.^ being OwO thus frighted, ÚwÚ sweaws :3 a :3 pwayew ow >w< two 
xDD And sweeps ;;w;; again. This >_> is :3 that xDD vewy UwU Mab 
:33 That plats x3 the xDD manyes of :3 howses uWu in x3 the >w< nyight 
xDD And bakes x3 the ÚwÚ ewfwocks uWu in fouw swuttish, hairs, 
>_< Which >_> once ^.^ untangwed much OwO misfowtunye UwU bodes 
This >_> is x3 the >_> hag, when ^w^ maids >_< wie on uWu theiw backs, 
:33 That ;;w;; pwesses them ÚwÚ and learns them xDD fiwst to >_> beaw, 
^.^ Making them x3 women of ÚwÚ good *twerks* cawwiage. 
This >_> is she- 
Rom. uWu Peace, ÚwÚ peace, Mewcutio, peace! 
^.^ Thou >_> tawk'st of OwO nyothing. 
Mew. >_< Twue, UwU I tawk of >w< dweams; 
>_< Which OwO awe x3 the x3 chiwdwen of >w< an idle :3 bwain, 
ÚwÚ Begot of >_< nyothing >_> but :33 vain ÚwÚ fantasy; 
>_< Which >_> is >_< as >_< thin of ÚwÚ substance >_< as x3 the air, 
xDD And ^.^ mowe inconstant than x3 the ;;w;; wind, who >_> wooes 
Even nyow x3 the uWu fwozen ^w^ bosom of x3 the UwU Nyowth 
^.^ And, ^.^ being anger'd, puffs OwO away from thence, 
UwU Tuwnying :33 his OwO face to x3 the >_> dew-dwopping uWu South. 
^-^ Ben. This wind xDD you tawk of ^w^ bwows >_> us from uWu ouwsewves. 
Supper >_> is :33 donye, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we UwU shaww come ^w^ too UwU wate. 
Rom. UwU I ;;w;; feaw, ^w^ too >w< eawwy; fow x3 my ^-^ mind misgives 
;;w;; Some uWu consequence, yet >_< hanging uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ staws, 
Shall bittewwy x3 begin :33 his x3 feawfuw uWu date 
With ÚwÚ this night's :3 wevews ÚwÚ and expire x3 the term 
Of :3 a :3 despised :3 wife, ^w^ cwos'd uWu in x3 my UwU bweast, 
^-^ By x3 some ^-^ viwe forfeit of untimely death. 
OwO But ^.^ he :3 that hath x3 the x3 steewage of x3 my course 
OwO Diwect x3 my OwO saiw! ÚwÚ On, ÚwÚ wusty gentlemen! 
^-^ Ben. UwU Stwike, dwum. 
^-^ They :33 mawch about x3 the stage. [Exeunt.] 




Scene V. 
UwU Capuwet's ÚwÚ house. 

^.^ Sewvingmen come fowth with napkins. 

:3 1. Serv. :3 Whewe's ÚwÚ Potpan, :3 that ^.^ he helps nyot to OwO take ÚwÚ away? 
>w< He OwO shift :3 a ;;w;; twenchew! ^.^ he scrape :3 a ;;w;; twenchew! 
uWu 2. Serv. x3 When ÚwÚ good ^w^ mannyews UwU shaww >_< wie aww uWu in one ow >w< two men's ^.^ hands, 
ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they unwash'd :3 too, UwU 'tis :3 a fouw >_> thing. 
:3 1. Serv. UwU Away with x3 the join-stoows, remove x3 the >w< couwt-cubbewt, wook 
to x3 the :33 pwate. ^-^ Good UwU thou, :3 save ;;w;; me :3 a ^.^ piece of ÚwÚ mawchpanye x3 and, >_< as 
xDD thou loves uWu me, wet x3 the powtew wet uWu in ÚwÚ Susan >w< Gwindstonye ÚwÚ and ^.^ Nyeww. 
Anthony, ÚwÚ and :3 Potpan! 
uWu 2. Serv. Ay, ^-^ boy, weady. 
:3 1. Serv. >_> You OwO awe >_> wook'd fow ÚwÚ and ^w^ caww'd for, >w< ask'd fow ÚwÚ and >_< sought 
for, uWu in x3 the great ^.^ chambew. 
>w< 3. Serv. We ;;w;; cannyot be OwO hewe ÚwÚ and there UwU too. >_< Cheewwy, :33 boys! 
^w^ Be bwisk awhiwe, ÚwÚ and x3 the longer wivew OwO take all. :33 Exeunt. 

Entew x3 the ^w^ Maskews, OwO Entew, ^w^ [with :3 Sewvants,] >_< Capuwet, :33 his >_< Wife, 
Juwiet, uWu Tybawt, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the x3 Guests 
ÚwÚ and Gentwewomen to x3 the UwU Maskews. 

uWu Cap. Welcome, gentlemen! Wadies :3 that uWu have uWu theiw OwO toes 
:33 Unpwagu'd with ÚwÚ cowns xDD wiww uWu have :3 a uWu bout with OwO you. 
Ah ha, x3 my >_> mistwesses! which of xDD you aww 
Will nyow UwU deny to ;;w;; dance? :33 She :3 that x3 makes >_> dainty, 
:33 She I'll >_< sweaw hath cowns. ^w^ Am UwU I come nyeaw OwO ye ^.^ nyow? 
Welcome, gentlemen! UwU I uWu have :3 seen x3 the day 
:33 That UwU I uWu have wown :3 a ;;w;; visow ÚwÚ and couwd tell 
^-^ A x3 whispewing xDD tawe uWu in :3 a >w< faiw >_> wady's eaw, 
>w< Such >_< as ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ pwease. 'Tis >w< gonye, UwU 'tis >w< gonye, UwU 'tis ÚwÚ gonye! 
>_> You OwO awe ;;w;; wewcome, gentlemen! ^.^ Come, uWu musicians, play. 
^-^ A :3 haww, :3 a hall! UwU give OwO woom! ÚwÚ and :33 foot :33 it, girls. 
Music pways, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they >_< dance. 
uWu Mowe wight, xDD you :33 knyaves! ÚwÚ and turn x3 the :33 tabwes up, 
xDD And quench x3 the ^w^ fiwe, x3 the >_> woom >_> is grown ^w^ too xDD hot. 
xDD Ah, sirrah, ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ unwook'd-fow spowt x3 comes well. 
Nyay, ^.^ sit, x3 nyay, ^.^ sit, ÚwÚ good xDD cousin >_< Capuwet, 
For xDD you ÚwÚ and UwU I OwO awe x3 past UwU ouw UwU dancing days. 
How ^-^ wong :3 is't nyow xDD since >w< wast >_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and UwU I 
^.^ Wewe uWu in :3 a mask? 
uWu 2. uWu Cap. xDD By'w Lady, ;;w;; thiwty years. 
uWu Cap. What, man? 'Tis nyot UwU so ÚwÚ much, UwU 'tis nyot UwU so x3 much! 
'Tis xDD since x3 the >w< nyuptiaw of ;;w;; Wucentio, 
:3 Come OwO Pentecost >_< as quickly >_< as >w< it :33 wiww, 
;;w;; Some ^-^ five-and-twenty years, ÚwÚ and xDD then ^.^ we ^.^ mask'd. 
uWu 2. uWu Cap. 'Tis >_> mowe, UwU 'tis uWu mowe! ÚwÚ His >_< son >_> is ^.^ ewdew, siw; 
ÚwÚ His >_< son >_> is xDD thiwty. 
uWu Cap. Will xDD you tell ;;w;; me ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ His >_< son UwU was >_> but :3 a ward >w< two years ago. 
Rom. >_> [to :3 a OwO Sewvingman] >_> What >_> wady's :3 that, which xDD doth enrich x3 the uWu hand 
Of yonder knyight? 
Serv. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, sir. 
Rom. >_< O, ^.^ she xDD doth >_< teach x3 the torches to buwn bwight! 
^.^ It ;;w;; seems ^.^ she uWu hangs ;;w;; upon x3 the >_< cheek of >w< nyight 
Wike :3 a rich jewel uWu in >w< an Ethiop's ;;w;; eaw- 
^w^ Beauty ^w^ too rich fow ^.^ use, fow ^.^ eawth ^w^ too dear! 
^w^ So >_< shows :3 a ;;w;; snyowy ^-^ duv ^-^ twooping with >_< cwows 
;;w;; As yonder uWu wady ^-^ o'ew her ^w^ fewwows shows. 
uWu The UwU measuwe :33 donye, I'll ;;w;; watch her :33 pwace of stand 
^.^ And, ^-^ touching ÚwÚ hews, >_< make blessed x3 my wude >w< hand. 
Did x3 my >_< heawt wuv >w< tiww ^.^ nyow? Forswear :33 it, ;;w;; sight! 
For UwU I ^w^ nye'ew saw true beauty >w< tiww ÚwÚ this OwO nyight. 
Tyb. >w< This, ^.^ by :33 his voice, >_> shouwd be :3 a >_> Montague. 
^-^ Fetch ;;w;; me x3 my wapiew, uWu boy. What, x3 dawes x3 the ;;w;; swave 
:3 Come hithew, cover'd with >w< an ^.^ antic >w< face, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ fweew ÚwÚ and ^w^ scown uWu at UwU ouw ^w^ sowemnyity? 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the stock ÚwÚ and honour of x3 my kin, 
;;w;; To strike ^.^ him >_< dead UwU I howd >w< it nyot :3 a >_< sin. 
uWu Cap. Why, >w< how now, ÚwÚ kinsman? ÚwÚ Whewefowe x3 stowm xDD you so? 
Tyb. >_> Uncwe, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a >_< Montague, UwU ouw >_< foe; 
^-^ A villain, :3 that >_> is ÚwÚ hithew come uWu in x3 spite 
;;w;; To ^w^ scown uWu at UwU ouw solemnity ÚwÚ this OwO nyight. 
uWu Cap. Young >_< Womeo >_> is :33 it? 
Tyb. 'Tis xDD he, :3 that viwwain ^-^ Womeo. 
uWu Cap. ^.^ Content ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ gentwe x3 coz, wet ^.^ him >_< awonye. 
>_> 'A bears ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a portly gentweman, 
^.^ And, to >_> say truth, Vewonya brags of ^.^ him 
;;w;; To be :3 a virtuous ÚwÚ and well-govern'd >_< youth. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot fow x3 the weawth of aww ÚwÚ this :33 town 
:3 Hewe uWu in x3 my ;;w;; house UwU do ^.^ him disparagement. 
Therefore be *giggles shyly* patient, OwO take nyo ^-^ nyote of ^.^ him. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 my :33 wiww; x3 the which >_> if xDD thou wespect, 
uWu Show :3 a >w< faiw x3 pwesence ÚwÚ and put x3 off these ÚwÚ fwowns, 
^-^ An iww-beseeming ÚwÚ sembwance fow :3 a x3 feast. 
Tyb. ^.^ It ^w^ fits when xDD such :3 a viwwain >_> is :3 a :33 guest. 
I'll nyot OwO enduwe ^.^ him. 
uWu Cap. >w< He UwU shaww be endur'd. 
What, ^.^ goodman boy? UwU I >_> say ^.^ he >_< shaww. Go ÚwÚ to! 
^w^ Am UwU I x3 the >_< mastew UwU hewe, ow you? Go ÚwÚ to! 
You'll nyot OwO enduwe him? ^w^ God UwU shaww mend x3 my souw! 
You'll >_< make :3 a mutiny ^-^ among x3 my >w< guests! 
>_> You xDD wiww uWu set OwO cock-a-hoop! you'ww be x3 the ;;w;; man! 
Tyb. Why, uWu uncwe, UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; shame. 
uWu Cap. Go ^.^ to, OwO go ÚwÚ to! 
>_> You OwO awe :3 a ^w^ saucy uWu boy. ^-^ Is't >_> so, >_< indeed? 
This twick OwO may chance to ÚwÚ scathe OwO you. UwU I ^.^ knyow what. 
>_> You ^w^ must :33 contwawy me! OwO Mawwy, UwU 'tis >_> time.- 
Weww said, x3 my heawts!- >_> You OwO awe :3 a >_< pwincox- :3 go! 
^w^ Be ^w^ quiet, xDD ow- uWu Mowe wight, ^.^ mowe light!- For x3 shame! 
I'll >_< make xDD you ^.^ quiet; UwU what!- >_< Cheewwy, x3 my ÚwÚ heawts! 
Tyb. ;;w;; Patience ^.^ pewfowce with ^.^ wiwfuw ^.^ chowew meeting 
:3 Makes x3 my >w< fwesh :3 twembwe uWu in uWu theiw different ^.^ gweeting. 
UwU I xDD wiww :3 withdwaw; >_> but ÚwÚ this intwusion UwU shaww, 
Now ÚwÚ seeming sweet, convert to ^w^ bitt'west xDD gaww. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Rom. ;;w;; If UwU I uWu pwofanye with x3 my UwU unwowthiest uWu hand 
This >w< howy shwinye, x3 the ^-^ gentwe OwO finye >_> is :33 this: 
OwO My :3 wips, >w< two ;;w;; bwushing UwU piwgwims, ready stand 
;;w;; To x3 smooth :3 that OwO wough :33 touch with :3 a xDD tendew >w< kiss. 
^w^ Juw. ^-^ Good :3 piwgwim, xDD you UwU do wrong x3 youw uWu hand ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, 
>_< Which >w< mannyewwy xDD devotion >_< shows uWu in >_< this; 
For ^-^ saints uWu have ^.^ hands :3 that pilgrims' ^.^ hands UwU do xDD touch, 
xDD And ^.^ pawm to ^.^ pawm >_> is >w< howy ^-^ pawmews' >w< kiss. 
Rom. :3 Have nyot ^-^ saints :3 wips, ÚwÚ and >w< howy pawmews xDD too? 
^w^ Juw. Ay, :3 piwgwim, lips :3 that ;;w;; they ^w^ must use uWu in pray'r. 
Rom. >_< O, >w< then, uWu deaw UwU saint, wet lips UwU do >_> what ^.^ hands :33 do! 
^-^ They ^w^ pway; gwant UwU thou, xDD west :33 faith turn to despaiw. 
^w^ Juw. Saints UwU do nyot x3 muv, ^w^ though gwant fow >w< pwayews' sake. 
Rom. UwU Then move nyot OwO whiwe x3 my prayer's ^w^ effect UwU I >_< take. 
^-^ Thus from x3 my :3 wips, ^.^ by ^.^ thinye x3 my x3 sin >_> is xDD puwg'd. ^.^ [Kisses >_< hew.] 
^w^ Juw. UwU Then uWu have x3 my lips x3 the x3 sin :3 that ;;w;; they uWu have UwU took. 
Rom. Sin from x3 my wips? x3 O trespass sweetly >_< uwg'd! 
Give ;;w;; me x3 my x3 sin ;;w;; again. ^.^ [Kisses >_< hew.] 
^w^ Juw. >_> You :3 kiss ^.^ by x3 th' uWu book. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. uWu Madam, x3 youw mothew cwaves :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
Rom. >_> What >_> is her mothew? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. OwO Mawwy, ^.^ bachewow, 
:3 Hew mothew >_> is x3 the uWu wady of x3 the ÚwÚ house. 
xDD And :3 a ÚwÚ good UwU wady, ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu wise ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ viwtuous. 
UwU I nurs'd her daughter :3 that xDD you ^w^ tawk'd uWu withaw. 
UwU I tell UwU you, ^.^ he :3 that ^.^ can uWu way howd of her 
Shall uWu have x3 the ;;w;; chinks. 
Rom. Is ^.^ she :3 a Capulet? 
x3 O uWu deaw ÚwÚ account! x3 my >w< wife >_> is x3 my OwO foe's debt. 
^-^ Ben. :33 Away, be xDD gonye; x3 the spowt >_> is uWu at x3 the >_> best. 
Rom. Ay, UwU so UwU I x3 feaw; x3 the ^.^ mowe >_> is x3 my ^w^ unwest. 
uWu Cap. Nyay, xDD gentwemen, >_> pwepawe nyot to be xDD gonye; 
We uWu have :3 a ^w^ twifwing >_< foowish :33 banquet towards. 
Is >w< it ^w^ e'en so? Why >w< then, UwU I >_> thank xDD you all. 
UwU I >_> thank UwU you, xDD honyest >_< gentwemen. ^-^ Good OwO nyight. 
uWu Mowe torches here! UwU [Exeunt x3 Maskews.] :3 Come on >w< then, >_> wet's to :3 bed. 
xDD Ah, sirrah, ^.^ by x3 my fay, >w< it ^.^ waxes late; 
I'll to x3 my rest. 
Exeunt [all >_> but Juwiet ÚwÚ and uWu Nyuwse]. 
^w^ Juw. :3 Come hithew, nurse. >_> What >_> is :33 yond gentleman? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. uWu The >_< son ÚwÚ and heir of ;;w;; owd :33 Tibewio. 
^w^ Juw. x3 What's ^.^ he :3 that nyow >_> is x3 going x3 out of doow? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. OwO Mawwy, :3 that, UwU I >_< think, be xDD young xDD Petwuchio. 
^w^ Juw. x3 What's ^.^ he :3 that xDD fowwows thewe, :3 that ^.^ wouwd nyot ;;w;; dance? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
^w^ Juw. Go ^w^ ask :33 his nyame.- ;;w;; If ^.^ he be >w< mawwied, 
OwO My :3 gwave >_> is ^.^ wike to be x3 my ÚwÚ wedding :3 bed. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ÚwÚ His xDD nyame >_> is ;;w;; Womeo, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< Montague, 
uWu The >w< onwy >_< son of x3 youw great enemy. 
^w^ Juw. OwO My >w< onwy xDD wuv, sprung from x3 my >w< onwy hate! 
Too early :3 seen uWu unknyown, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ knyown ^w^ too uWu wate! 
>_< Pwodigious birth of wuv >w< it >_> is to ;;w;; me 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ must wuv :3 a >_< woathed enemy. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. x3 What's :3 this? UwU what's :3 this? 
^w^ Juw. ^-^ A ^-^ whyme UwU I ^w^ weawnt even nyow 
Of one UwU I UwU danc'd uWu withaw. 
x3 Onye ;;w;; cawws :33 within, 'Juliet.' 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ;;w;; Anyon, :33 anyon! 
^.^ Come, >_> wet's :3 away; x3 the stwangews aww OwO awe ;;w;; gonye. :33 Exeunt. 




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PROLOGUE 

Entew ^.^ Chowus. 

Chor. Now ;;w;; owd ^.^ desiwe xDD doth uWu in :33 his UwU deathbed wie, 
xDD And xDD young :3 affection xDD gapes to be :33 his heir; 
:33 That >w< faiw fow which wuv gwoan'd fow ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd >_> die, 
With xDD tendew Juwiet >w< match'd, >_> is nyow nyot >_< faiw. 
Now >_< Womeo >_> is bewov'd, ÚwÚ and loves OwO again, 
Alike >w< bewitched ^.^ by x3 the >_> chawm of looks; 
OwO But to :33 his foe ^-^ suppos'd ^.^ he ^w^ must >_< compwain, 
xDD And ^.^ she ^.^ steaw love's x3 sweet x3 bait from x3 feawfuw ÚwÚ hooks. 
uWu Being hewd :3 a x3 foe, ^.^ he OwO may nyot uWu have x3 access 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bweathe xDD such x3 vows >_< as ^w^ wuvws use to x3 sweaw, 
xDD And ^.^ she >_< as much uWu in xDD wuv, her means much less 
;;w;; To :3 meet her x3 nyew beloved ;;w;; anywhewe; 
OwO But passion wends them x3 powew, time >_< means, to ^w^ meet, 
xDD Temp'wing >_< extwemities with extweme sweet. 
ÚwÚ Exit. 




^.^ ACT UwU II. Scene ^.^ I. 
^-^ A ^w^ wanye ^.^ by x3 the waww of UwU Capuwet's ^-^ owchawd. 

Entew >_< Womeo >_< awonye. 

Rom. UwU Can UwU I OwO go forward when x3 my >_< heawt >_> is hewe? 
Tuwn back, dull earth, ÚwÚ and find >w< thy centwe OwO out. 
xDD [Cwimbs x3 the waww ÚwÚ and weaps down within x3 it.] 

Entew Benvolio with >_< Mewcutio. 

^-^ Ben. ÚwÚ Womeo! x3 my xDD cousin ÚwÚ Womeo! ÚwÚ Womeo! 
Mew. >w< He >_> is >_< wise, 
^.^ And, on x3 my :3 wife, hath :3 stow'n ^.^ him ^.^ home to :3 bed. 
^-^ Ben. >w< He wan ÚwÚ this :3 way, ÚwÚ and uWu weapt ÚwÚ this orchard wall. 
Caww, ÚwÚ good >_< Mewcutio. 
Mew. Nyay, I'll x3 conjuwe UwU too. 
ÚwÚ Womeo! humouws! >_> madman! passion! >w< wuvw! 
Appear xDD thou uWu in x3 the xDD wikenyess of :3 a >_< sigh; 
^w^ Speak >_> but one ^-^ whyme, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ satisfied! 
Cwy >_> but ÚwÚ 'Ay UwU me!' pwonyounce >_> but 'love' ÚwÚ and 'dove'; 
^w^ Speak to x3 my ^.^ gossip :3 Venyus one >w< faiw word, 
x3 Onye >_> nyicknyame fow her xDD puwbwind >_< son ÚwÚ and heiw, 
Young Adam Cupid, ^.^ he :3 that UwU shot UwU so ÚwÚ twim 
x3 When ^w^ King ^.^ Cophetua :3 wov'd x3 the beggar x3 maid! 
>w< He OwO heaweth >_> nyot, ^.^ he stiwweth >_> nyot, be :33 muvth x3 nyot; 
uWu The ^w^ ape >_> is >_< dead, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must x3 conjuwe ^.^ him. 
UwU I x3 conjuwe uWu thee ^.^ by ^-^ Wosawinye's uWu bwight :3 eyes. 
^-^ By her xDD high forehead ÚwÚ and her x3 scawwet x3 wip, 
^-^ By her OwO finye xDD foot, ^w^ stwaight ^-^ weg, ÚwÚ and UwU quivewing >w< thigh, 
xDD And x3 the ^.^ demesnyes :3 that there adjacent wie, 
:33 That uWu in >w< thy xDD wikenyess xDD thou appeaw to ÚwÚ us! 
^-^ Ben. ^-^ An >_> if ^.^ he hear ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou wiwt ÚwÚ angew ^.^ him. 
Mew. This ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ angew ^.^ him. ;;w;; 'Twouwd ÚwÚ angew ^.^ him 
;;w;; To >w< waise :3 a ^w^ spiwit uWu in :33 his >_< mistwess' xDD ciwcwe 
Of x3 some ;;w;; stwange nyatuwe, wetting >w< it there stand 
Tiww ^.^ she xDD had laid >w< it ÚwÚ and ^w^ conjuw'd >w< it down. 
:33 That :3 wewe x3 some spite; x3 my invocation 
Is >w< faiw ÚwÚ and honest: uWu in :33 his >_< mistwess' :33 nyame, 
UwU I x3 conjuwe >w< onwy >_> but to >w< waise x3 up ^.^ him. 
^-^ Ben. ^.^ Come, ^.^ he hath >_< hid >_< himsewf ^-^ among these trees 
;;w;; To be ^w^ consowted with x3 the humorous OwO nyight. 
:3 Bwind >_> is :33 his wuv ÚwÚ and best befits x3 the OwO dawk. 
Mew. ;;w;; If wuv be ÚwÚ bwind, wuv ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; hit x3 the >w< mawk. 
Now xDD wiww ^.^ he sit :33 undew :3 a medwaw twee 
xDD And ÚwÚ wish :33 his mistwess :3 wewe :3 that uWu kind of ^w^ fwuit 
;;w;; As ^w^ maids caww medwaws when ;;w;; they laugh >_< awonye. 
>_< O, ;;w;; Womeo, :3 that ^.^ she uWu wewe, x3 O :3 that ^.^ she :3 wewe 
^-^ An open ^w^ et >_> cetewa, xDD thou :3 a pop'rin ^.^ peaw! 
;;w;; Womeo, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. I'll to x3 my truckle-bed; 
This fiewd-bed >_> is ^w^ too UwU cowd fow ;;w;; me to OwO sweep. 
^.^ Come, UwU shaww ^.^ we >w< go? 
^-^ Ben. Go >w< then, fow UwU 'tis uWu in :33 vain 
uWu 'To >_> seek ^.^ him OwO hewe :3 that means nyot to be uWu found. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
UwU Capuwet's ^-^ owchawd. 

Entew ^-^ Womeo. 

Rom. >w< He jests uWu at xDD scaws :3 that >_< nyevew UwU fewt :3 a wound. 

Entew Juwiet :33 abuv uWu at :3 a :3 window. 

OwO But xDD soft! >_> What >w< wight ^w^ thwough yonder window bweaks? 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the East, ÚwÚ and Juwiet >_> is x3 the >_< sun! 
Awise, >w< faiw sun, ÚwÚ and OwO kiww x3 the envious ;;w;; moon, 
Who >_> is xDD awweady >w< sick ÚwÚ and pawe with grief 
:33 That xDD thou her >_< maid awt uWu faw ^.^ mowe >w< faiw than ^w^ she. 
^w^ Be nyot her ;;w;; maid, xDD since ^.^ she >_> is >_< envious. 
:3 Hew :33 vestaw :33 wivewy >_> is >_> but >w< sick ÚwÚ and xDD gween, 
xDD And >_< nyonye >_> but foows UwU do ^-^ weaw :3 it. ;;w;; Cast >w< it off. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 my ;;w;; wady; >_< O, >w< it >_> is x3 my love! 
x3 O :3 that ^.^ she UwU knyew ^.^ she were! 
:33 She speaks, yet ^.^ she ;;w;; says OwO nyothing. >_> What of ^-^ that? 
:3 Hew ^w^ eye discouwses; UwU I xDD wiww answew :3 it. 
UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too ^.^ bowd; UwU 'tis nyot to ;;w;; me ^.^ she speaks. 
Two of x3 the >_> faiwest stars uWu in aww x3 the ^.^ heaven, 
>_> Having x3 some business, UwU do entweat her eyes 
;;w;; To >_< twinkwe uWu in uWu theiw spheres >w< tiww ;;w;; they wetuwn. 
>_> What >_> if her eyes :3 wewe thewe, ;;w;; they uWu in her head? 
uWu The brightness of her >_< cheek ^.^ wouwd ^-^ shame UwU those stars 
;;w;; As ^-^ daywight xDD doth :3 a OwO wamp; her eyes uWu in heaven 
Wouwd ^w^ thwough x3 the airy wegion stweam UwU so uWu bwight 
:33 That xDD biwds ^.^ wouwd ^.^ sing ÚwÚ and think >w< it :3 wewe nyot OwO nyight. 
xDD See >w< how ^.^ she weans her >_< cheek ;;w;; upon her xDD hand! 
x3 O :3 that UwU I :3 wewe :3 a ;;w;; gwuv ;;w;; upon :3 that uWu hand, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ might :33 touch :3 that >_< cheek! 
^w^ Juw. uWu Ay me! 
Rom. :33 She speaks. 
>_< O, speak OwO again, uWu bwight uWu angew! fow xDD thou awt 
;;w;; As glorious to ÚwÚ this night, ^.^ being ^-^ o'ew x3 my head, 
;;w;; As >_> is :3 a >_> winged :3 messengew of heaven 
uWu Unto x3 the white-uptuwnyed UwU wond'wing eyes 
Of :33 mowtaws :3 that faww back to ÚwÚ gaze on ^.^ him 
x3 When ^.^ he bestrides x3 the ÚwÚ wazy-pacing :33 cwouds 
xDD And sails ;;w;; upon x3 the ^w^ bosom of x3 the air. 
^w^ Juw. x3 O ;;w;; Womeo, ÚwÚ Womeo! ^-^ whewefowe awt xDD thou ^.^ Womeo? 
>w< Deny >w< thy >w< fathew ÚwÚ and refuse >w< thy xDD nyame! 
:3 Ow, >_> if xDD thou wiwt >_> nyot, be >_> but sworn x3 my xDD wuv, 
xDD And I'll nyo longer be :3 a Capuwet. 
Rom. >w< [aside] Shall UwU I hear >_> mowe, ow UwU shaww UwU I speak uWu at :3 this? 
^w^ Juw. 'Tis >_> but >w< thy xDD nyame :3 that >_> is x3 my enemy. 
^.^ Thou awt ;;w;; thysewf, ^w^ though nyot :3 a >_> Montague. 
x3 What's Montague? >w< it >_> is nor uWu hand, nor xDD foot, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ awm, nor >w< face, nor xDD any othew ÚwÚ pawt 
:3 Bewonging to :3 a man. >_< O, be x3 some othew xDD nyame! 
x3 What's uWu in :3 a :3 nyame? :33 That which ^.^ we caww :3 a wose 
^-^ By xDD any othew xDD nyame ^.^ wouwd smell >_< as sweet. 
^w^ So >_< Womeo :3 wouwd, :3 wewe ^.^ he nyot >_< Womeo ;;w;; caww'd, 
Wetain :3 that uWu deaw pewfection which ^.^ he >_> owes 
Without :3 that uWu titwe. ;;w;; Womeo, ;;w;; doff >w< thy UwU nyame; 
xDD And fow :3 that :33 nyame, which >_> is nyo ÚwÚ pawt of ÚwÚ thee, 
^.^ Take aww :3 mysewf. 
Rom. UwU I OwO take uWu thee uWu at >w< thy OwO wowd. 
;;w;; Caww ;;w;; me >_> but xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and I'll be x3 nyew >w< baptiz'd; 
ÚwÚ Hencefowth UwU I >_< nyevew xDD wiww be ^-^ Womeo. 
^w^ Juw. >_> What x3 man awt xDD thou :3 that, OwO thus bescreen'd uWu in night, 
^w^ So UwU stumbwest on x3 my counsew? 
Rom. ^-^ By :3 a xDD nyame 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how to tell uWu thee who UwU I am. 
OwO My :33 nyame, uWu deaw UwU saint, >_> is hateful to myself, 
>_< Because >w< it >_> is >w< an ;;w;; enyemy to thee. 
xDD Had UwU I >w< it written, UwU I ^.^ wouwd teaw x3 the OwO wowd. 
^w^ Juw. OwO My OwO eaws uWu have yet nyot UwU dwunk :3 a :3 hundwed wowds 
Of :3 that >_< tongue's utterance, yet UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the UwU sound. 
Awt xDD thou nyot ;;w;; Womeo, ÚwÚ and :3 a Montague? 
Rom. :33 Nyeithew, >w< faiw UwU saint, >_> if xDD eithew uWu thee dislike. 
^w^ Juw. How xDD cam'st xDD thou hithew, tell uWu me, ÚwÚ and OwO whewefowe? 
uWu The orchard OwO wawws OwO awe xDD high ÚwÚ and x3 hawd to cwimb, 
xDD And x3 the :33 pwace UwU death, ^-^ considewing who xDD thou awt, 
;;w;; If xDD any of x3 my >_< kinsmen find uWu thee hewe. 
Rom. With love's >w< wight x3 wings uWu did UwU I o'erperch these wawws; 
For >_< stony :3 wimits ;;w;; cannyot howd wuv ^.^ out, 
xDD And >_> what wuv ^.^ can UwU do, :3 that x3 dawes wuv attempt. 
Therefore >w< thy >_< kinsmen OwO awe nyo wet to x3 me. 
^w^ Juw. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they UwU do >_> see ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; they xDD wiww muwthew thee. 
Rom. xDD Awack, there wies ^.^ mowe peril uWu in ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye 
Than ÚwÚ twenty of uWu theiw swowds! Wook xDD thou >_> but sweet, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am xDD pwoof OwO against uWu theiw >w< enmity. 
^w^ Juw. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot fow x3 the wowwd ;;w;; they saw uWu thee hewe. 
Rom. UwU I uWu have night's uWu cwoak to hide ;;w;; me from uWu theiw sight; 
xDD And >_> but xDD thou wuv uWu me, wet them find ;;w;; me hewe. 
OwO My >w< wife :3 wewe xDD bettew >_< ended ^.^ by uWu theiw ^-^ hate 
Than :33 death UwU pwowogued, ^-^ wanting of >w< thy love. 
^w^ Juw. ^-^ By x3 whose ÚwÚ diwection >w< found'st xDD thou x3 out ÚwÚ this :3 pwace? 
Rom. ^-^ By xDD wuv, :3 that xDD fiwst uWu did prompt ;;w;; me to enquire. 
>w< He OwO went ;;w;; me counsew, ÚwÚ and UwU I OwO went ^.^ him :3 eyes. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyo uWu piwot; ^w^ yet, OwO wewt xDD thou >_< as uWu faw 
;;w;; As :3 that >_> vast >w< showe >w< wash'd with x3 the ^-^ fawthest :33 sea, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd adventuwe fow xDD such merchandise. 
^w^ Juw. ^.^ Thou knowest x3 the OwO mask of >w< nyight >_> is on x3 my face; 
^-^ Ewse ^.^ wouwd :3 a >_< maiden bwush ^.^ bepaint x3 my >_< cheek 
For :3 that which xDD thou x3 hast heard ;;w;; me speak to-night. 
Fain ^.^ wouwd UwU I dwell on fowm- ;;w;; fain, >_> fain UwU deny 
>_> What UwU I uWu have spoke; >_> but >_< faweweww compliment! 
uWu Dost xDD thou wuv uWu me, UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou wiwt >_> say ^.^ 'Ay'; 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww OwO take >w< thy OwO wowd. Yet, >_> if xDD thou :3 sweaw'st, 
^.^ Thou uWu mayst ^-^ pwuv >w< fawse. At wuvws' OwO pewjuwies, 
^-^ They >_> say Juv uWu waughs. x3 O ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; Womeo, 
;;w;; If xDD thou dost xDD wuv, pwonyounce >w< it faithfully. 
:33 Ow >_> if xDD thou >_> thinkest UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too quickly >_> won, 
I'll fwown, ÚwÚ and be pewvewse, ÚwÚ and >_> say uWu thee x3 nyay, 
^w^ So xDD thou wiwt woo; >_> but else, nyot fow x3 the wowwd. 
^w^ In truth, >w< faiw >_< Montague, UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too fond, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe xDD thou uWu mayst think x3 my :33 haviouw >_> wight; 
OwO But :33 twust uWu me, gentweman, I'll ^-^ pwuv ^.^ mowe true 
Than UwU those :3 that uWu have ^.^ mowe x3 cunnying to be x3 stwange. 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been ^.^ mowe >_> stwange, UwU I ^w^ must >_> confess, 
OwO But :3 that xDD thou ^-^ uvwheawd'st, ere UwU I UwU was wawe, 
OwO My :3 twue-wuv ^w^ passion. Therefore UwU pawdon uWu me, 
xDD And nyot ÚwÚ impute ÚwÚ this yiewding to >w< wight xDD wuv, 
>_< Which x3 the dark >w< nyight hath UwU so discovered. 
Rom. Lady, ^.^ by yonder blessed ;;w;; moon UwU I x3 sweaw, 
:33 That ^w^ tips with :33 siwvew aww these ;;w;; fwuit-twee tops- 
^w^ Juw. >_< O, >_< sweaw nyot ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; moon, x3 th' inconstant ;;w;; moon, 
:33 That >w< monthwy :33 changes uWu in her circled orb, 
Lest :3 that >w< thy wuv ^-^ pwuv >_< wikewise OwO vawiabwe. 
Rom. >_> What UwU shaww UwU I >_< sweaw by? 
^w^ Juw. Do nyot >_< sweaw uWu at aww; 
:33 Ow >_> if xDD thou wiwt, >_< sweaw ^.^ by >w< thy >_> gwacious ;;w;; sewf, 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the god of x3 my idolatry, 
xDD And I'll ^-^ bewieve thee. 
Rom. ;;w;; If x3 my heart's uWu deaw ;;w;; wuv- 
^w^ Juw. xDD Weww, UwU do nyot OwO sweaw. Awthough UwU I joy uWu in ÚwÚ thee, 
UwU I uWu have nyo joy of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ contwact to-night. 
^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too ÚwÚ wash, ^w^ too OwO unyadvis'd, ^w^ too sudden; 
Too ^.^ wike x3 the lightning, which xDD doth xDD cease to be 
Ere one ^.^ can >_> say 'It lightens.' OwO Sweet, ÚwÚ good night! 
This >w< bud of xDD wuv, ^.^ by :33 summew's uWu wipenying :33 bweath, 
^-^ May ^-^ pwuv :3 a beauteous xDD fwow'w when :3 nyext ^.^ we ^.^ meet. 
^-^ Good night, ÚwÚ good night! ;;w;; As x3 sweet wepose ÚwÚ and xDD west 
:3 Come to >w< thy >_< heawt >_< as :3 that within x3 my >w< bweast! 
Rom. >_< O, wiwt xDD thou OwO weave ;;w;; me UwU so unsatisfied? 
^w^ Juw. >_> What >_< satisfaction ;;w;; canst xDD thou uWu have :3 to-nyight? 
Rom. xDD Th' :3 exchange of >w< thy love's faithfuw vow fow ^w^ minye. 
^w^ Juw. UwU I uWu gave uWu thee >_< minye >w< befowe xDD thou :33 didst request uWu it; 
xDD And yet UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it :3 wewe to UwU give ;;w;; again. 
Rom. ^.^ Wouwd'st xDD thou >_< withdwaw :33 it? For >_> what xDD puwpose, love? 
^w^ Juw. OwO But to be xDD fwank ÚwÚ and UwU give >w< it uWu thee ;;w;; again. 
xDD And yet UwU I ÚwÚ wish >_> but fow x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I :3 have. 
OwO My >_> bounty >_> is >_< as boundwess >_< as x3 the :33 sea, 
OwO My wuv >_< as >_> deep; x3 the ^.^ mowe UwU I UwU give to ÚwÚ thee, 
uWu The ^.^ mowe UwU I have, fow both OwO awe :33 infinyite. 
UwU I hear x3 some noise x3 within. >_< Deaw xDD wuv, ^w^ adieu! 
;;w;; [Nyuwse] ;;w;; cawws x3 within. 
;;w;; Anyon, ÚwÚ good >_< nyuwse! ÚwÚ Sweet >_< Montague, be true. 
OwO Stay >_> but :3 a UwU wittwe, UwU I xDD wiww come ;;w;; again. ^-^ [Exit.] 
Rom. x3 O ;;w;; bwessed, blessed night! UwU I ^w^ am xDD afeawd, 
uWu Being uWu in night, aww ÚwÚ this >_> is >_> but :3 a x3 dweam, 
Too ^w^ fwattewing-sweet to be ;;w;; substantiaw. 

Entew Juwiet abuv. 

^w^ Juw. Thwee wowds, uWu deaw ;;w;; Womeo, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good >w< nyight indeed. 
;;w;; If :3 that >w< thy UwU bent of wuv be >_> honyouwabwe, 
x3 Thy OwO puwpose ^.^ mawwiage, >_> send ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd ^.^ to-mowwow, 
^-^ By one :3 that I'll ;;w;; pwocuwe to come to ÚwÚ thee, 
Whewe ÚwÚ and >_> what time xDD thou wiwt x3 pewfowm x3 the wite; 
xDD And aww x3 my fowtunyes uWu at >w< thy :33 foot I'll uWu way 
xDD And ;;w;; fowwow uWu thee x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ thwoughout x3 the wowwd. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. :3 (within) Madam! 
^w^ Juw. UwU I come, >_> anyon.- OwO But >_> if xDD thou meanyest nyot weww, 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech ;;w;; thee- 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. :3 (within) Madam! 
^w^ Juw. UwU By-and-by UwU I >_< come.- 
;;w;; To xDD cease >w< thy >_> suit ÚwÚ and OwO weave ;;w;; me to x3 my ÚwÚ gwief. 
>_< To-mowwow xDD wiww UwU I ^.^ send. 
Rom. ^w^ So x3 thwive x3 my ;;w;; souw- 
^w^ Juw. ^-^ A thousand times ÚwÚ good night! ÚwÚ Exit. 
Rom. ^-^ A thousand times x3 the ^-^ wowse, to ^.^ want >w< thy wight! 
Wuv xDD goes toward wuv >_< as >w< schoowboys from uWu theiw books; 
OwO But wuv from xDD wuv, uWu towawds OwO schoow with x3 heavy OwO wooks. 

Entew Juwiet OwO again, >w< [abuv]. 

^w^ Juw. ^w^ Hist! ;;w;; Womeo, ÚwÚ hist! x3 O fow :3 a falconer's uWu voice 
;;w;; To lure ÚwÚ this uWu tassew-gentwe back x3 again! 
Bondage >_> is :33 hoawse ÚwÚ and OwO may nyot speak awoud; 
^-^ Ewse ^.^ wouwd UwU I teaw x3 the cave :3 whewe ^.^ Echo lies, 
xDD And >_< make her airy >_> tongue ^.^ mowe :33 hoawse than >_< minye 
With repetition of x3 my Romeo's nyame. 
ÚwÚ Womeo! 
Rom. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my :3 souw :3 that ;;w;; cawws ;;w;; upon x3 my nyame. 
How ÚwÚ siwvew-sweet >_> sound wuvws' tongues ^.^ by night, 
Wike x3 softest uWu music to :33 attending ÚwÚ eaws! 
^w^ Juw. ÚwÚ Womeo! 
Rom. OwO My ^w^ deaw? 
^w^ Juw. At >_> what UwU o'cwock to-mowwow 
Shall UwU I >_> send to thee? 
Rom. ^-^ By x3 the >_> houw of nine. 
^w^ Juw. UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_< faiw. 'Tis ÚwÚ twenty years >w< tiww UwU then. 
UwU I uWu have fowgot >w< why UwU I uWu did caww uWu thee back. 
Rom. Let ;;w;; me stand OwO hewe >w< tiww xDD thou remember :3 it. 
^w^ Juw. UwU I UwU shaww >w< fowget, to uWu have uWu thee still stand thewe, 
^.^ Wememb'wing >w< how UwU I wuv >w< thy UwU company. 
Rom. xDD And I'll still ;;w;; stay, to uWu have uWu thee still >w< fowget, 
Fowgetting xDD any othew ^.^ home >_> but UwU this. 
^w^ Juw. 'Tis almost xDD mownying. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have uWu thee ;;w;; gonye- 
xDD And yet nyo ^-^ fawthew than :3 a wanton's bird, 
:33 That wets >w< it hop :3 a xDD wittwe from her uWu hand, 
Wike :3 a poor ÚwÚ pwisonyew uWu in :33 his OwO twisted xDD gyves, 
xDD And with :3 a OwO siwk :3 thwead OwO pwucks >w< it back OwO again, 
^w^ So loving-jealous of :33 his OwO wibewty. 
Rom. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe >w< thy xDD biwd. 
^w^ Juw. OwO Sweet, UwU so ^.^ wouwd ^.^ I. 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I >_> shouwd OwO kiww uWu thee with much chewishing. 
^-^ Good night, ÚwÚ good night! Parting >_> is xDD such x3 sweet >_> sowwow, 
:33 That UwU I UwU shaww >_> say ÚwÚ good >w< nyight >w< tiww >w< it be :3 mowwow. 
^-^ [Exit.] 
Rom. OwO Sweep dwell ;;w;; upon ^.^ thinye ^w^ eyes, uWu peace uWu in >w< thy >w< bweast! 
Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe :33 sweep ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ peace, UwU so x3 sweet to west! 
OwO Hence xDD wiww UwU I to x3 my ghostly father's cell, 
ÚwÚ His OwO hewp to ^w^ cwave ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu deaw ÚwÚ hap to tell. 
uWu Exit 




Scene >_> III. 
uWu Fwiaw Laurence's >w< ceww. 

Entew uWu Fwiaw, ^w^ [Wauwence] ^-^ awonye, with :3 a >_> basket. 

Fwiaw. uWu The >w< gwey-ey'd ;;w;; mown ^-^ smiwes on x3 the >_> fwownying night, 
^-^ Check'wing x3 the Eastewn :33 cwouds with >_< stweaks of >_> wight; 
xDD And ^.^ fwecked >w< dawknyess ^.^ wike :3 a drunkard reels 
Fwom fowth day's path ÚwÚ and Titan's fiery OwO wheews. 
Nyon, ere x3 the sun advance :33 his ^.^ buwnying ^w^ eye 
uWu The day to cheer ÚwÚ and night's dank :33 dew to ^.^ dwy, 
UwU I ^w^ must :33 up-fiww ÚwÚ this xDD osiew cage of ouws 
With xDD bawefuw UwU weeds ÚwÚ and precious-juiced fwowews. 
uWu The ^.^ eawth ^w^ that's ;;w;; nyatuwe's mothew >_> is her ;;w;; tomb. 
>_> What >_> is her burying :3 gave, :3 that >_> is her womb; 
xDD And from her womb x3 chiwdwen of divers uWu kind 
We x3 sucking on her natural ^w^ bosom find; 
xDD Many fow UwU many uWu viwtues ÚwÚ excewwent, 
^-^ Nyonye >_> but fow some, ÚwÚ and yet aww >w< diffewent. 
>_< O, mickwe >_> is x3 the powerful xDD gwace :3 that wies 
^w^ In plants, herbs, ^w^ stonyes, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw true x3 quawities; 
For xDD nyaught UwU so ^-^ viwe :3 that on x3 the ^.^ eawth xDD doth ^w^ wive 
OwO But to x3 the ^.^ eawth x3 some >_> speciaw ÚwÚ good xDD doth ^w^ give; 
x3 Nyow ^.^ aught UwU so ÚwÚ good but, ÚwÚ stwain'd from :3 that >w< faiw ^.^ use, 
Revolts from true birth, x3 stumbwing on ^-^ abuse. 
x3 Viwtue itsewf tuwns xDD vice, ^.^ being >_< misappwied, 
xDD And :33 vice uWu sometime's ^.^ by uWu action ^-^ dignyified. 
OwO Within x3 the xDD infant wind of ÚwÚ this UwU smaww fwowew 
uWu Poison hath wesidence, ÚwÚ and medicinye power; 
For uWu this, ^.^ being x3 smewt, with :3 that ÚwÚ pawt cheers >_< each ^w^ pawt; 
uWu Being ÚwÚ tasted, slays aww :33 senses with x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 
Two xDD such >_< opposed >w< kings encamp them still 
^w^ In x3 man >_< as weww >_< as ÚwÚ hewbs- xDD gwace ÚwÚ and wude :33 wiww; 
xDD And :3 whewe x3 the >_> wowsew >_> is ^.^ pwedominyant, 
Full >w< soon x3 the ;;w;; cankew :33 death ^w^ eats x3 up :3 that pwant. 

Entew ^-^ Womeo. 

Rom. ^-^ Good morrow, :33 fathew. 
Fwiaw. Benedicite! 
>_> What early >_> tongue UwU so x3 sweet >_< sawuteth me? 
Young x3 son, >w< it ÚwÚ awgues :3 a OwO distempewed >_> head 
^w^ So >w< soon to bid ÚwÚ good mowwow to >w< thy :3 bed. 
Cawe keeps :33 his ;;w;; watch uWu in every ;;w;; owd :33 man's >_< eye, 
xDD And :3 whewe :3 cawe ^.^ wodges :33 sweep xDD wiww >_< nyevew wie; 
OwO But :3 whewe unbruised :33 youth with OwO unstuff'd :3 bwain 
^-^ Doth UwU couch :33 his limbs, there golden :33 sweep xDD doth reign. 
Therefore >w< thy eawwinyess xDD doth ;;w;; me :33 assuwe 
^.^ Thou awt upwous'd with x3 some distemp'watuwe; 
:33 Ow >_> if nyot >_> so, xDD then OwO hewe UwU I ;;w;; hit >w< it OwO wight- 
Our >_< Womeo hath nyot :33 been uWu in x3 bed to-night. 
Rom. :33 That >w< wast >_> is true-the ^w^ sweetew xDD west UwU was ^w^ minye. 
Fwiaw. ^w^ God UwU pawdon ^w^ sin! UwU Wast xDD thou with ÚwÚ Wosawinye? 
Rom. With x3 Wosawinye, x3 my ghostly father? No. 
UwU I uWu have fowgot :3 that :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and :3 that name's woe. 
Fwiaw. >w< That's x3 my ÚwÚ good ^w^ son! OwO But :3 whewe x3 hast xDD thou :33 been ^w^ then? 
Rom. I'll tell uWu thee ere xDD thou ^w^ ask >w< it ;;w;; me ;;w;; again. 
UwU I uWu have :33 been x3 feasting with >_< minye enyemy, 
Whewe on :3 a ^.^ sudden one hath wounded ;;w;; me 
>w< That's ^.^ by ;;w;; me wounded. UwU Both UwU ouw remedies 
OwO Within >w< thy OwO hewp ÚwÚ and >w< howy ;;w;; physic uWu wies. 
UwU I UwU beaw nyo >_< hatwed, blessed ^w^ man, for, ^.^ wo, 
OwO My >_< intewcession >_< wikewise ^-^ steads x3 my foe. 
Fwiaw. ^w^ Be pwain, ÚwÚ good x3 son, ÚwÚ and homewy uWu in >w< thy dwift 
:33 Widdwing >_> confession ÚwÚ finds >_> but riddling shwift. 
Rom. UwU Then x3 pwainwy ^.^ knyow x3 my heart's uWu deaw wuv >_> is uWu set 
On x3 the >w< faiw daughter of rich ^.^ Capuwet; 
;;w;; As >_< minye on ÚwÚ hews, UwU so hews >_> is uWu set on >_> minye, 
xDD And aww OwO combin'd, :3 save >_> what xDD thou ^w^ must UwU combinye 
^-^ By >w< howy marriage. UwU When, ÚwÚ and where, ÚwÚ and >w< how 
We :3 met, ^.^ we ^w^ woo'd, ÚwÚ and UwU made :3 exchange of ^w^ vow, 
I'll tell uWu thee >_< as ^.^ we UwU pass; >_> but ÚwÚ this UwU I pray, 
:33 That xDD thou >_< consent to marry >_> us ^w^ to-day. 
Fwiaw. Holy Saint >_> Fwancis! >_> What :3 a change >_> is here! 
Is x3 Wosawinye, :3 that xDD thou :33 didst wuv UwU so deaw, 
^w^ So >w< soon fowsaken? Young men's wuv xDD then wies 
ÚwÚ Nyot :33 twuwy uWu in uWu theiw hearts, >_> but uWu in uWu theiw :3 eyes. 
>_< Jesu Maria! >_> What :3 a deal of ^-^ bwinye 
>_< Hath >w< wash'd >w< thy ^-^ sawwow >_> cheeks fow Wosawinye! 
How much ^-^ sawt UwU watew :33 thwown OwO away uWu in >_< waste, 
;;w;; To >_< season xDD wuv, :3 that of >w< it xDD doth nyot xDD taste! 
uWu The sun nyot yet >w< thy :3 sighs from heaven clears, 
x3 Thy ;;w;; owd groans OwO wing yet uWu in >_< minye UwU ancient ears. 
Lo, OwO hewe ;;w;; upon >w< thy >_< cheek x3 the stain xDD doth sit 
Of >w< an ;;w;; owd teaw :3 that >_> is nyot >w< wash'd x3 off >_> yet. 
;;w;; If ;;w;; e'ew xDD thou >w< wast ;;w;; thysewf, ÚwÚ and these :3 woes xDD thinye, 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ and these :3 woes :3 wewe aww fow :3 Wosawinye. 
xDD And awt xDD thou ÚwÚ chang'd? :33 Pwonyounce ÚwÚ this :33 sentence >_< then: 
UwU Women OwO may faww when there's nyo ÚwÚ stwength uWu in ^.^ men. 
Rom. ^.^ Thou OwO chid'st ;;w;; me ;;w;; oft fow >w< woving :3 Wosawinye. 
Fwiaw. For doting, nyot fow >w< woving, ^w^ pupiw ^w^ minye. 
Rom. xDD And :3 bad'st ;;w;; me ^.^ buwy love. 
Fwiaw. ÚwÚ Nyot uWu in :3 a :3 gwave 
;;w;; To uWu way one x3 in, anyothew x3 out to :3 have. 
Rom. UwU I pray uWu thee UwU chide not. :33 She ÚwÚ whom UwU I wuv nyow 
^-^ Doth xDD gwace fow xDD gwace ÚwÚ and wuv fow wuv ÚwÚ awwow. 
uWu The othew uWu did nyot :3 so. 
Fwiaw. >_< O, ^.^ she UwU knyew weww 
x3 Thy wuv uWu did ^w^ wead ^.^ by rote, :3 that couwd nyot ^.^ speww. 
OwO But come, xDD young waverer, come OwO go with x3 me. 
^w^ In one wespect I'll >w< thy ;;w;; assistant be; 
For ÚwÚ this alliance OwO may UwU so ^w^ happy ^-^ pwuv 
;;w;; To turn x3 youw ^-^ househowds' rancour to puwe love. 
Rom. >_< O, wet >_> us UwU hence! UwU I stand on ^.^ sudden ^.^ haste. 
Fwiaw. :3 Wisewy, ÚwÚ and slow. ^-^ They stumble :3 that >w< wun uWu fast. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene :33 IV. 
^-^ A :33 stweet. 

Entew Benvolio ÚwÚ and >_< Mewcutio. 

Mew. Whewe x3 the ^.^ deviw >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this >_< Womeo :3 be? 
>_< Came ^.^ he nyot ^.^ home :3 to-nyight? 
^-^ Ben. ÚwÚ Nyot to :33 his fathew's. UwU I ^-^ spoke with :33 his man. 
Mew. Why, :3 that same pawe uWu hawd-heawted >_> wench, :3 that x3 Wosawinye, 
>w< Towments ^.^ him UwU so :3 that ^.^ he xDD wiww >_< suwe >w< wun >_> mad. 
^-^ Ben. uWu Tybawt, x3 the kinsman to ;;w;; owd >_< Capuwet, 
>_< Hath sent :3 a >_> wettew to :33 his father's ÚwÚ house. 
Mew. ^-^ A ^.^ chawwenge, on x3 my life. 
^-^ Ben. >_< Womeo xDD wiww answew :3 it. 
Mew. x3 Any x3 man :3 that ^.^ can >w< wwite OwO may answew :3 a >_> wettew. 
^-^ Ben. Nyay, ^.^ he xDD wiww answew x3 the OwO wettew's ^.^ mastew, >w< how ^.^ he x3 dawes, ^.^ being 
;;w;; dawed. 
Mew. ÚwÚ Awas, poor ;;w;; Womeo, ^.^ he >_> is xDD awweady ÚwÚ dead! stabb'd with :3 a ^-^ white 
:33 wench's black >_< eye; UwU shot ^w^ thwough x3 the ear with :3 a wuv ^.^ song; x3 the 
xDD vewy uWu pin of :33 his >_< heawt uWu cweft with x3 the ^w^ bwind :33 bow-boy's :33 butt-shaft; 
ÚwÚ and >_> is ^.^ he :3 a x3 man to x3 encountew ^.^ Tybawt? 
^-^ Ben. Why, >_> what >_> is ^.^ Tybawt? 
Mew. uWu Mowe than Prince of ^-^ Cats, UwU I ^.^ can tell OwO you. >_< O, uWu he's x3 the 
xDD couwageous UwU captain of >_> compwiments. >w< He >_< fights >_< as xDD you ^.^ sing 
UwU pwicksong-keeps time, ÚwÚ distance, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwopowtion; UwU wests ;;w;; me :33 his 
minyim ^-^ west, one, >_> two, ÚwÚ and x3 the thiwd uWu in x3 youw uWu bosom! x3 the xDD vewy 
;;w;; butchew of :3 a OwO siwk uWu button, :3 a duellist, :3 a duewwist! :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of 
x3 the xDD vewy xDD fiwst house, of x3 the xDD fiwst ÚwÚ and second OwO cause. xDD Ah, x3 the 
:3 immowtaw :33 passado! x3 the >w< punto wevewse! x3 the hay. 
^-^ Ben. uWu The UwU what? 
Mew. uWu The uWu pox of xDD such ;;w;; antic, lisping, ^.^ affecting fantasticoes- these 
x3 nyew ^-^ tunyews of ^.^ accent! >_< 'By Jesu, :3 a xDD vewy ÚwÚ good :33 bwade! :3 a xDD vewy ;;w;; taww 
;;w;; man! :3 a xDD vewy ÚwÚ good :3 whowe!' Why, >_> is nyot ÚwÚ this :3 a lamentable ÚwÚ thing, 
gwandsiw, :3 that ^.^ we >_> shouwd be OwO thus afflicted with these ;;w;; stwange 
flies, these ^-^ fashion-mongews, these pawdonya-mi's, who stand UwU so 
much on x3 the x3 nyew >_< fowm :3 that ;;w;; they ;;w;; cannyot sit uWu at ^w^ ease on x3 the ;;w;; owd 
UwU bench? >_< O, uWu theiw xDD bonyes, uWu theiw ^.^ bonyes! 

Entew ^-^ Womeo. 

^-^ Ben. :3 Hewe x3 comes ÚwÚ Womeo! OwO hewe x3 comes ÚwÚ Womeo! 
Mew. Without :33 his woe, ^.^ wike :3 a dwied xDD hewwing. x3 O OwO fwesh, OwO fwesh, >w< how awt 
xDD thou :33 fishified! Now >_> is ^.^ he fow x3 the xDD nyumbews :3 that Petrarch fwowed 
^.^ in. Laura, to :33 his UwU wady, UwU was >_> but :3 a ^-^ kitchen OwO wench uWu (mawwy, ^.^ she xDD had :3 a 
xDD bettew wuv to ^-^ bewhyme her), ^w^ Dido :3 a x3 dowdy, Cleopatra :3 a gypsy, 
:33 Hewen ÚwÚ and ^.^ Hewo >_< hiwdings ÚwÚ and ^-^ hawwots, This be :3 a ^w^ gway ^w^ eye ow >_> so, 
>_> but nyot to x3 the puwpose. :33 Signyiow ;;w;; Womeo, OwO bon ÚwÚ jouw! >_> Thewe's :3 a OwO Fwench 
salutation to x3 youw OwO Fwench ÚwÚ swop. >_> You uWu gave >_> us x3 the OwO countewfeit 
^.^ faiwwy >w< wast OwO nyight. 
Rom. ^-^ Good mowwow to xDD you xDD both. >_> What OwO countewfeit uWu did UwU I UwU give you? 
Mew. uWu The xDD swip, ^w^ siw, x3 the UwU swip. UwU Can xDD you nyot conceive? 
Rom. Pawdon, ÚwÚ good >_< Mewcutio. OwO My business UwU was ^.^ gweat, ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD such :3 a 
case >_< as >_< minye :3 a x3 man OwO may ;;w;; stwain uWu couwtesy. 
Mew. >w< That's >_< as much >_< as to say, xDD such :3 a case >_< as >_> youws constrains :3 a 
x3 man to bow uWu in x3 the hams. 
Rom. Meaning, to cuwsy. 
Mew. ^.^ Thou x3 hast UwU most ^-^ kindwy ;;w;; hit :3 it. 
Rom. ^-^ A UwU most ^-^ couwteous ^-^ exposition. 
Mew. Nyay, UwU I ^w^ am x3 the xDD vewy ^-^ pink of uWu couwtesy. 
Rom. x3 Pink fow >_< fwowew. 
Mew. :33 Wight. 
Rom. Why, xDD then >_> is x3 my pump ^-^ weww-fwowew'd. 
Mew. Weww ^-^ said! Follow ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this xDD jest nyow >w< tiww xDD thou x3 hast wown x3 out >w< thy 
xDD pump, :3 that, when x3 the :3 singwe sole of >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ wown, x3 the xDD jest OwO may 
>_< wemain, ÚwÚ aftew x3 the :33 weawing, solely ÚwÚ singuwaw. 
Rom. x3 O :3 singwe-sowd ^.^ jest, solely singular fow x3 the singleness! 
Mew. :3 Come ^-^ between us, ÚwÚ good :33 Benvowio! OwO My :33 wits ^.^ faint. 
Rom. OwO Swits ÚwÚ and ^w^ spuws, :33 swits ÚwÚ and UwU spuws! ow I'll cwy :3 a match. 
Mew. Nyay, >_> if UwU ouw :33 wits >w< wun x3 the >w< wiwd-goose uWu chase, UwU I ^w^ am donye; fow xDD thou 
x3 hast ^.^ mowe of x3 the >w< wiwd x3 goose uWu in one of >w< thy :33 wits than, UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, UwU I 
uWu have uWu in x3 my whole five. Was UwU I with xDD you there fow x3 the xDD goose? 
Rom. ^.^ Thou >w< wast >_< nyevew with ;;w;; me fow ;;w;; anything when xDD thou >w< wast nyot there 
fow x3 the >_< goose. 
Mew. UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ bite uWu thee ^.^ by x3 the ear fow :3 that ;;w;; jest. 
Rom. Nyay, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ goose, ^-^ bite ^w^ nyot! 
Mew. x3 Thy wit >_> is :3 a xDD vewy UwU bittew sweeting; >w< it >_> is :3 a UwU most ^-^ shawp >_> sauce. 
Rom. xDD And >_> is >w< it >_> nyot, >w< then, weww sewv'd uWu in to :3 a x3 sweet xDD goose? 
Mew. >_< O, hewe's :3 a wit of ÚwÚ chevewiw, :3 that stwetches from >w< an ÚwÚ inch 
nyawwow to >w< an OwO eww broad! 
Rom. UwU I stretch >w< it x3 out fow :3 that ;;w;; wowd 'broad,' ^w^ which, >_< added to x3 the 
ÚwÚ goose, ;;w;; pwuvs uWu thee uWu faw ÚwÚ and uWu wide :3 a >_< bwoad >_< goose. 
Mew. Why, >_> is nyot ÚwÚ this xDD bettew nyow than ;;w;; gwoanying fow love? Now awt 
xDD thou xDD sociabwe, nyow awt xDD thou Romeo; nyow awt xDD thou >_> what xDD thou awt, ^.^ by 
awt >_< as weww >_< as ^.^ by :33 nyatuwe. For ÚwÚ this drivelling wuv >_> is ^.^ wike :3 a 
great natural :3 that wuns wowwing x3 up ÚwÚ and down to hide :33 his xDD baubwe uWu in 
:3 a hole. 
^-^ Ben. uWu Stop thewe, ÚwÚ stop thewe! 
Mew. ^.^ Thou uWu desiwest ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ stop uWu in x3 my xDD tawe OwO against x3 the >w< haiw. 
^-^ Ben. ^.^ Thou wouldst >_> ewse uWu have UwU made >w< thy xDD tawe >_> wawge. 
Mew. >_< O, xDD thou awt deceiv'd! UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU made >w< it :33 showt; fow UwU I UwU was 
come to x3 the whole UwU depth of x3 my :33 tawe, ÚwÚ and meant ÚwÚ indeed to ^.^ occupy 
x3 the :33 awgument nyo wongew. 
Rom. >_> Hewe's xDD goodwy gear! 

Entew ^w^ Nyuwse ÚwÚ and her ^-^ Man ^-^ [Petew]. 

Mew. ^-^ A sail, :3 a OwO saiw! 
^-^ Ben. xDD Two, OwO two! :3 a shirt ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ smock. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Peter! 
;;w;; Petew. UwU Anyon. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. OwO My ;;w;; fan, ;;w;; Petew. 
Mew. ^-^ Good Petew, to hide her face; fow her fan's x3 the fairer OwO face of 
x3 the UwU two. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^w^ God OwO ye ÚwÚ good morrow, >_< gentwemen. 
Mew. ^w^ God OwO ye ÚwÚ good-den, >w< faiw gentlewoman. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Is >w< it OwO good-den? 
Mew. 'Tis nyo UwU wess, UwU I tell ye; fow x3 the ^w^ bawdy uWu hand of x3 the OwO diaw >_> is nyow 
;;w;; upon x3 the uWu pwick of xDD nyoon. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. UwU Out ;;w;; upon you! >_> What :3 a x3 man OwO awe you! 
Rom. One, gentwewoman, :3 that ^w^ God hath UwU made fow >_< himsewf to x3 maw. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^-^ By x3 my troth, >w< it >_> is weww UwU said. ^w^ 'Fow >_< himsewf to UwU maw,' quoth 
>_< 'a? ÚwÚ Gentwemen, ^.^ can xDD any of xDD you tell ;;w;; me :3 whewe UwU I OwO may find x3 the xDD young 
^.^ Womeo? 
Rom. UwU I ^.^ can tell uWu you; >_> but xDD young >_< Womeo xDD wiww be ^.^ owdew when xDD you uWu have 
>_> found ^.^ him than ^.^ he UwU was when xDD you >_< sought ^.^ him. UwU I ^w^ am x3 the xDD youngest of 
:3 that :33 nyame, fow ;;w;; fauwt of :3 a x3 wowse. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. >_> You >_> say well. 
Mew. Yea, >_> is x3 the worst ^.^ weww? Very weww took, :33 i' >_< faith! wisely, 
wisely. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ;;w;; If xDD you be xDD he, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ desiwe x3 some :3 confidence with OwO you. 
^-^ Ben. :33 She xDD wiww :3 endite ^.^ him to x3 some x3 suppew. 
Mew. ^-^ A ^w^ bawd, :3 a ^w^ bawd, :3 a >w< bawd! ^w^ So ho! 
Rom. >_> What x3 hast xDD thou >w< found? 
Mew. No :33 hawe, siw; ^w^ unwess :3 a :33 hawe, ^w^ siw, uWu in :3 a ^.^ wenten ^-^ pie, :3 that >_> is 
^-^ something ÚwÚ stawe ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ hoaw ere >w< it be xDD spent 
>w< He >w< wawks ^.^ by them ÚwÚ and UwU sings. 

^-^ An ;;w;; owd UwU hawe hoar, 
xDD And >w< an ;;w;; owd UwU hawe hoar, 
Is xDD vewy ÚwÚ good :3 meat uWu in ÚwÚ Went; 
OwO But :3 a UwU hawe :3 that >_> is ÚwÚ hoaw 
Is ^w^ too much fow :3 a ÚwÚ scowe 
x3 When >w< it hoars ere >w< it be :33 spent. 

;;w;; Womeo, xDD wiww xDD you come to x3 youw ^w^ fathew's? ^-^ We'ww to dinner xDD thithew. 
Rom. UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. 
Mew. UwU Faweweww, UwU ancient >_> wady. UwU Faweweww, 
[sings] UwU wady, UwU wady, >_> wady. 
Exeunt Mewcutio, Benvowio. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. OwO Mawwy, farewell! UwU I >_> Pway UwU you, UwU Siw, >_> what ^w^ saucy merchant UwU was 
ÚwÚ this :3 that UwU was UwU so full of :33 his ÚwÚ wopewy? 
Rom. ^-^ A gentweman, xDD nyuwse, :3 that loves to hear >_< himsewf tawk ÚwÚ and xDD wiww 
speak ^.^ mowe uWu in :3 a minyute than ^.^ he xDD wiww stand to uWu in :3 a month. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^-^ An xDD 'a speak ;;w;; anything OwO against uWu me, I'll OwO take ^.^ him ;;w;; down, >w< an xDD 'a 
:3 wewe x3 wustiew than ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty xDD such ^-^ jacks; ÚwÚ and >_> if UwU I cannot, 
I'll find UwU those :3 that >_< shaww. :3 Scuwvy uWu knyave! UwU I ^w^ am >_< nyonye of :33 his 
xDD fwiwt-giwws; UwU I ^w^ am >_< nyonye of :33 his ÚwÚ skains-mates. xDD And xDD thou ^w^ must stand 
^.^ by :3 too, ÚwÚ and suffew every x3 knyave to use ;;w;; me uWu at :33 his pweasuwe! 
;;w;; Petew. UwU I saw nyo x3 man use xDD you uWu at :33 his pleasure. ;;w;; If UwU I :33 had, x3 my :33 weapon 
>_> shouwd quickly uWu have :33 been ^.^ out, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. UwU I dawe dwaw >_< as >w< soon 
>_< as anyothew ^w^ man, >_> if UwU I >_> see ;;w;; occasion uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ good quarrel, ÚwÚ and x3 the law 
on x3 my ^w^ side. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. >_> Nyow, ^-^ afowe :33 God, UwU I ^w^ am UwU so ÚwÚ vexed :3 that every ÚwÚ pawt about ;;w;; me 
quivews. :3 Scuwvy uWu knyave! >_> Pway UwU you, ^w^ siw, :3 a wowd; x3 and, >_< as UwU I told UwU you, 
x3 my xDD young uWu wady bid ;;w;; me ^.^ enquiwe xDD you OwO out. >_> What ^.^ she bid ;;w;; me say, UwU I xDD wiww 
>_< keep to >_< mysewf; >_> but xDD fiwst wet ;;w;; me tell :3 ye, >_> if OwO ye >_> shouwd lead her 
x3 into :3 a ;;w;; foow's UwU pawadise, >_< as ;;w;; they say, >w< it :3 wewe :3 a xDD vewy gwoss uWu kind of 
behaviour, >_< as ;;w;; they say; fow x3 the :33 gentwewoman >_> is ^-^ young; ÚwÚ and 
OwO thewefowe, >_> if xDD you >_> shouwd deal :3 doubwe with hew, :33 twuwy >w< it :3 wewe >w< an 
:33 iww ^.^ thing to be ;;w;; off'wed to xDD any gentwewoman, ÚwÚ and xDD vewy xDD weak UwU deawing. 
Rom. Nyuwse, ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to >w< thy uWu wady ÚwÚ and ^w^ mistwess. UwU I ^w^ pwotest >w< unto 
;;w;; thee- 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^-^ Good uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 faith UwU I xDD wiww tell her >_< as :33 much. Wowd, 
:3 Wowd! ^.^ she xDD wiww be :3 a >w< joyfuw uWu woman. 
Rom. >_> What wiwt xDD thou tell hew, x3 nyuwse? ^.^ Thou dost nyot mark x3 me. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. UwU I xDD wiww tell hew, ^w^ siw, :3 that xDD you UwU do protest, ^w^ which, >_< as UwU I OwO take 
:33 it, >_> is :3 a gentwemanwike UwU offew. 
Rom. x3 Bid her >w< devise 
;;w;; Some means to come to shrift ÚwÚ this afternoon; 
xDD And there ^.^ she UwU shaww uWu at uWu Fwiaw Laurence' cell 
^w^ Be shriv'd ÚwÚ and mawwied. :3 Hewe >_> is fow >w< thy OwO pains. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. :3 Nyo, OwO twuwy, siw; nyot :3 a penny. 
Rom. Go ÚwÚ to! UwU I >_> say xDD you >_< shaww. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. This ;;w;; aftewnyoon, UwU siw? xDD Weww, ^.^ she UwU shaww be :33 thewe. 
Rom. xDD And ;;w;; stay, ÚwÚ good xDD nyuwse, x3 behind x3 the >_> abbey wall. 
OwO Within ÚwÚ this >_> houw x3 my x3 man UwU shaww be with uWu thee 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing uWu thee cowds UwU made ^.^ wike :3 a :33 tackwed ^-^ staiw, 
>_< Which to x3 the xDD high topgallant of x3 my joy 
:3 Must be x3 my :33 convoy uWu in x3 the secret OwO nyight. 
uWu Faweweww. ^w^ Be >_< twusty, ÚwÚ and I'll ^.^ quit >w< thy OwO pains. 
uWu Faweweww. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to >w< thy ^w^ mistwess. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Now ^w^ God uWu in heaven ;;w;; bwess uWu thee! ^.^ Hawk UwU you, sir. 
Rom. >_> What say'st UwU thou, x3 my uWu deaw x3 nyuwse? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Is x3 youw x3 man ^w^ secwet? Did xDD you ^w^ nye'ew hear say, 
Two OwO may >_< keep counsew, ^.^ putting one ÚwÚ away? 
Rom. UwU I :33 wawwant uWu thee x3 my :33 man's >_< as true >_< as steew. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, x3 my mistwess >_> is x3 the ^w^ sweetest >_> wady. Wowd, :3 Wowd! 
when uWu 'twas :3 a xDD wittwe ;;w;; pwating xDD thing- >_< O, there >_> is :3 a nyobweman uWu in 
xDD town, one >_< Pawis, :3 that ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu way knyife ^.^ aboawd; >_> but uWu she, ÚwÚ good 
x3 souw, xDD had >_< as wieve >_> see :3 a ;;w;; toad, :3 a xDD vewy ;;w;; toad, >_< as >_> see ^.^ him. UwU I ÚwÚ angew 
her >_< sometimes, ÚwÚ and tell her :3 that Paris >_> is x3 the properer xDD man; >_> but 
I'll :33 wawwant UwU you, when UwU I >_> say >_> so, ^.^ she :33 wooks >_< as pawe >_< as xDD any cwout 
uWu in x3 the vewsaw wowwd. ^-^ Doth nyot >w< wosemawy ÚwÚ and >_< Womeo x3 begin both with 
:3 a wettew? 
Rom. Ay, ;;w;; nyuwse; >_> what of ^-^ that? UwU Both with >w< an ^-^ W. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. xDD Ah, mocker! ^w^ that's x3 the :3 dog's nyame. OwO W >_> is fow uWu the- No; UwU I ^.^ knyow 
>w< it ÚwÚ begins with x3 some othew wettew; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she hath x3 the pwettiest 
xDD sententious of :33 it, of xDD you ÚwÚ and ^.^ wosemawy, :3 that >w< it ^.^ wouwd UwU do xDD you ÚwÚ good 
to hear :3 it. 
Rom. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to >w< thy >_> wady. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Ay, :3 a thousand times. ;;w;; [Exit xDD Womeo.] Peter! 
;;w;; Petew. UwU Anyon. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Petew, OwO take x3 my ;;w;; fan, ÚwÚ and OwO go x3 befowe, ÚwÚ and :33 apace. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene V. 
UwU Capuwet's ^-^ owchawd. 

Entew Juliet. 

^w^ Juw. uWu The >w< cwock >w< stwuck >w< nyinye when UwU I uWu did >_> send x3 the ;;w;; nyuwse; 
^w^ In half >w< an >_> houw ^.^ she :33 'pwomis'd to wetuwn. 
Pewchance ^.^ she ;;w;; cannyot :3 meet ^.^ him. >w< That's nyot :3 so. 
>_< O, ^.^ she >_> is lame! >w< Wuv's OwO hewawds >_> shouwd be thoughts, 
>_< Which ;;w;; ten times fastew ^w^ gwide than x3 the sun's beams 
xDD Dwiving back ^-^ shadows uvw low'ring hills. 
Therefore UwU do >_< nyimbwe-pinyion'd doves dwaw Wuv, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe hath x3 the ;;w;; wind-swift x3 Cupid xDD wings. 
Now >_> is x3 the sun ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 highmost hill 
Of ÚwÚ this day's jouwnyey, ÚwÚ and from >w< nyinye >w< tiww >_< twewve 
Is >w< thwee ^-^ wong ^-^ houws; yet ^.^ she >_> is nyot x3 come. 
xDD Had ^.^ she affections ÚwÚ and wawm youthfuw bwood, 
:33 She ^.^ wouwd be >_< as UwU swift uWu in >_> motion >_< as :3 a >_> baww; 
OwO My wowds ^.^ wouwd >w< bandy her to x3 my x3 sweet xDD wuv, 
xDD And :33 his to uWu me, 
OwO But ;;w;; owd >_< fowks, UwU many >_> feign >_< as ;;w;; they :3 wewe >w< dead- 
x3 Unwiewdy, swow, x3 heavy ÚwÚ and pawe >_< as wead. 

Entew ^w^ Nyuwse [and Peter]. 

x3 O :33 God, ^.^ she comes! x3 O honey xDD nyuwse, >_> what nyews? 
Hast xDD thou >w< met with him? >_< Send >w< thy x3 man xDD away. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Petew, xDD stay uWu at x3 the uWu gate. 
;;w;; [Exit >_< Petew.] 
^w^ Juw. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good x3 sweet nyuwse- x3 O Wowd, >w< why wook'st xDD thou sad? 
;;w;; Though nyews be :3 sad, yet tell them UwU mewwiwy; 
;;w;; If UwU good, xDD thou >_< shamest x3 the uWu music of x3 sweet nyews 
^-^ By :3 pwaying >w< it to ;;w;; me with UwU so :3 souw :3 a ;;w;; face. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. UwU I ^w^ am uWu aweawy, UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave OwO awhiwe. 
OwO Fie, >w< how x3 my bones >_> ache! >_> What :3 a x3 jaunce uWu have UwU I :33 had! 
^w^ Juw. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou >w< hadst x3 my xDD bonyes, ÚwÚ and UwU I >w< thy ;;w;; nyews. 
Nyay, come, UwU I pray uWu thee >_< speak. OwO Good, ÚwÚ good xDD nyuwse, >_< speak. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Jesu, >_> what UwU haste! UwU Can xDD you nyot xDD stay awhiwe? 
Do xDD you nyot >_> see :3 that UwU I ^w^ am x3 out of >_> bweath? 
^w^ Juw. How awt xDD thou x3 out of UwU bweath when xDD thou x3 hast UwU bweath 
;;w;; To >_> say to ;;w;; me :3 that xDD thou awt x3 out of >_> bweath? 
uWu The UwU excuse :3 that xDD thou dost >_< make uWu in ÚwÚ this deway 
Is longer than x3 the xDD tawe xDD thou dost uWu excuse. 
Is >w< thy nyews ÚwÚ good ow >_> bad? Answer to x3 that. 
x3 Say ^-^ eithew, ÚwÚ and I'll xDD stay x3 the ÚwÚ ciwcumstance. 
Let ;;w;; me be satisfied, :3 is't ÚwÚ good ow >_> bad? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. xDD Weww, xDD you uWu have UwU made :3 a :33 simpwe choice; xDD you ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how to 
choose :3 a man. ^.^ Womeo? :3 Nyo, nyot he. ;;w;; Though :33 his OwO face be xDD bettew than 
xDD any ÚwÚ man's, yet :33 his >_< weg :3 excews aww ^-^ men's; ÚwÚ and fow :3 a uWu hand ÚwÚ and :3 a 
xDD foot, ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; body, ^w^ though ;;w;; they be nyot to be ^w^ tawk'd ;;w;; on, yet ;;w;; they 
OwO awe x3 past compare. >w< He >_> is nyot x3 the fwowew of couwtesy, but, I'll 
:33 wawwant :3 him, >_< as ^-^ gentwe >_< as :3 a >w< wamb. Go >w< thy >w< ways, ^.^ wench; serve >_< God. 
What, uWu have xDD you ÚwÚ din'd uWu at ^w^ home? 
^w^ Juw. :3 Nyo, >w< nyo. OwO But aww ÚwÚ this uWu did UwU I ^.^ knyow befowe. 
>_> What ;;w;; says ^.^ he of UwU ouw x3 mawwiage? >_> What of ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Wowd, >w< how x3 my >_> head >w< aches! >_> What :3 a >_> head uWu have >_< I! 
^.^ It ÚwÚ beats >_< as >w< it ^.^ wouwd faww uWu in ÚwÚ twenty x3 pieces. 
OwO My back ^.^ o' t' othew >_< side,- UwU ah, x3 my back, x3 my >_> back! 
Beshrew x3 youw >_< heawt fow UwU sending ;;w;; me about 
;;w;; To catch x3 my :33 death with >_< jauncing x3 up ÚwÚ and ^-^ down! 
^w^ Juw. xDD I' ^w^ faith, UwU I ^w^ am sowwy :3 that xDD thou awt nyot well. 
OwO Sweet, sweet, ÚwÚ Sweet xDD nyuwse, tell uWu me, >_> what ;;w;; says x3 my love? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. uWu Youw wuv says, ^.^ wike >w< an xDD honyest gentweman, ÚwÚ and :3 a couwteous, 
ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; kind, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< handsome; x3 and, UwU I warrant, :3 a UwU viwtuous- Whewe >_> is 
x3 youw mothew? 
^w^ Juw. Whewe >_> is x3 my mothew? Why, ^.^ she >_> is x3 within. 
Whewe >_> shouwd ^.^ she :3 be? How oddly xDD thou xDD wepwiest! 
uWu 'Youw wuv says, ^.^ wike >w< an xDD honyest gentweman, 
^w^ "Whewe >_> is x3 youw mothew?"' 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. x3 O >_> God's xDD Wady dear! 
^w^ Awe xDD you UwU so :33 hot? Marry come up, UwU I ^w^ twow. 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 the >_> pouwtice fow x3 my uWu aching ;;w;; bonyes? 
ÚwÚ Hencefowwawd UwU do x3 youw ^-^ messages OwO youwsewf. 
^w^ Juw. >_> Hewe's xDD such :3 a coil! ^.^ Come, >_> what ;;w;; says ^.^ Womeo? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. :3 Have xDD you ^w^ got OwO weave to OwO go to shrift >w< to-day? 
^w^ Juw. UwU I :3 have. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. UwU Then hie xDD you >w< hence to uWu Fwiaw Laurence' cell; 
>_> Thewe uWu stays :3 a :33 husband to >_< make xDD you :3 a x3 wife. 
Now x3 comes x3 the >_< wanton :3 bwood x3 up uWu in x3 youw xDD cheeks: 
x3 They'ww be uWu in x3 scawwet ^w^ stwaight uWu at xDD any ;;w;; nyews. 
Hie xDD you to OwO chuwch; UwU I ^w^ must anyothew :3 way, 
;;w;; To :3 fetch :3 a waddew, ^.^ by x3 the which x3 youw wuv 
:3 Must x3 cwimb :3 a bird's nyest >w< soon when >w< it >_> is OwO dawk. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the xDD dwudge, ÚwÚ and toiw uWu in x3 youw delight; 
OwO But xDD you UwU shaww UwU beaw x3 the >_< buwthen >w< soon uWu at OwO nyight. 
:33 Go; I'll to uWu dinnyew; hie xDD you to x3 the >w< ceww. 
^w^ Juw. Hie to xDD high fortune! :3 Honyest xDD nyuwse, farewell. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene uWu VI. 
uWu Fwiaw Laurence's >w< ceww. 

Entew uWu Fwiaw ^w^ [Wauwence] ÚwÚ and ^-^ Womeo. 

Fwiaw. ^w^ So ;;w;; smiwe x3 the heavens ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this >w< howy ;;w;; act 
:33 That aftew-houws with sorrow UwU chide >_> us ^w^ nyot! 
Rom. >_> Amen, >_< amen! OwO But come >_> what sorrow ^-^ can, 
^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot OwO countewvaiw x3 the :3 exchange of joy 
:33 That one showt minyute ;;w;; gives ;;w;; me uWu in her :33 sight. 
Do xDD thou >_> but ^-^ cwose UwU ouw ^.^ hands with >w< howy wowds, 
UwU Then OwO wuv-devouwing :33 death UwU do >_> what ^.^ he dawe- 
^.^ It >_> is enough UwU I OwO may >_> but caww her ^w^ minye. 
Fwiaw. ;;w;; These :3 viowent dewights uWu have :3 viowent uWu ends 
xDD And uWu in uWu theiw twiumph >_> die, ^.^ wike fire ÚwÚ and powdew, 
>_< Which, >_< as ;;w;; they ÚwÚ kiss, uWu consume. uWu The ^w^ sweetest honey 
Is woathsome uWu in :33 his UwU own dewiciousnyess 
xDD And uWu in x3 the >_> taste ;;w;; confounds x3 the ÚwÚ appetite. 
Therefore wuv modewatewy: ^-^ wong wuv xDD doth so; 
Too UwU swift awwives >_< as ÚwÚ tawdy >_< as ^w^ too slow. 

Entew Juliet. 

:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the >_> wady. >_< O, UwU so >w< wight :3 a :33 foot 
Will ^w^ nye'ew ^-^ weaw x3 out x3 the everlasting flint. 
^-^ A wuvw OwO may :3 bestwide x3 the gossamer 
:33 That ;;w;; idwes uWu in x3 the >_< wanton ^-^ summew air, 
xDD And yet nyot uWu faww; UwU so >w< wight >_> is ^-^ vanyity. 
^w^ Juw. ^-^ Good even to x3 my ghostly ^-^ confessow. 
Fwiaw. >_< Womeo UwU shaww >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ daughtew, fow >_> us xDD both. 
^w^ Juw. ;;w;; As much to :3 him, >_> ewse >_> is :33 his thanks ^w^ too :33 much. 
Rom. xDD Ah, Juwiet, >_> if x3 the UwU measuwe of >w< thy joy 
^w^ Be ^w^ heap'd ^.^ wike >_> minye, ÚwÚ and :3 that >w< thy :3 skiww be ^.^ mowe 
;;w;; To >_> bwazon :33 it, xDD then sweeten with >w< thy UwU bweath 
This OwO nyeighbouw air, ÚwÚ and wet rich music's >_> tongue 
Unfold x3 the xDD imagin'd happinyess :3 that both 
Receive uWu in xDD eithew ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu deaw ÚwÚ encountew. 
^w^ Juw. Conceit, ^.^ mowe rich uWu in ;;w;; mattew than uWu in wowds, 
uWu Bwags of :33 his ÚwÚ substance, nyot of ornament. 
^-^ They OwO awe >_> but x3 beggaws :3 that ^.^ can ;;w;; count uWu theiw wowth; 
OwO But x3 my true wuv >_> is grown to xDD such ^.^ excess 
;;w;; cannyot >w< sum x3 up >w< sum of half x3 my ;;w;; weawth. 
Fwiaw. ^.^ Come, come with uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< make showt >_> wowk; 
For, ^.^ by x3 youw OwO weaves, xDD you UwU shaww nyot xDD stay awonye 
Tiww Holy ;;w;; Chuwch incorporate >w< two uWu in onye. 
[Exeunt.] 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. Scene ^.^ I. 
^-^ A public ;;w;; pwace. 

Entew Mewcutio, ÚwÚ Benvowio, ÚwÚ and :33 Men. 

^-^ Ben. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good Mewcutio, >_> wet's x3 wetiwe. 
uWu The day >_> is >_> hot, x3 the >w< Capuwets abroad. 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ we ^w^ meet, ^.^ we UwU shaww nyot ;;w;; scape :3 a uWu bwaww, 
For now, these :3 hot uWu days, >_> is x3 the ^-^ mad :3 bwood ;;w;; stiwwing. 
Mew. ^.^ Thou awt ^.^ wike one of these ^w^ fewwows :3 that, when ^.^ he ;;w;; entews x3 the 
confines of :3 a >_< tavewn, :3 cwaps ;;w;; me :33 his xDD swowd ;;w;; upon x3 the tabwe ÚwÚ and ;;w;; says 
>w< 'God >_> send ;;w;; me nyo >_< nyeed of >_< thee!' ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 the x3 opewation of x3 the second 
>w< cup ÚwÚ dwaws ^.^ him on x3 the :33 dwawew, when ÚwÚ indeed there >_> is nyo ^w^ nyeed. 
^-^ Ben. ^w^ Am UwU I ^.^ wike xDD such :3 a fewwow? 
Mew. ^.^ Come, come, xDD thou awt >_< as :3 hot :3 a >_< jack uWu in >w< thy ^w^ mood >_< as xDD any uWu in 
>w< Itawy; ÚwÚ and >_< as >w< soon ^-^ muvd to be ÚwÚ moody, ÚwÚ and >_< as >w< soon moody to be 
:33 muvd. 
^-^ Ben. xDD And >_> what to? 
Mew. Nyay, >w< an there :3 wewe >w< two xDD such, ^.^ we >_> shouwd uWu have >_< nyonye shortly, fow 
one ^.^ wouwd OwO kiww x3 the :3 othew. xDD Thou! >w< why, xDD thou wiwt ^-^ quawwew with :3 a x3 man 
:3 that hath :3 a >_< haiw ^.^ mowe ow :3 a >_< haiw less uWu in :33 his ^w^ beawd than xDD thou OwO hast. 
^.^ Thou wiwt ^-^ quawwew with :3 a x3 man fow cwacking :3 nyuts, xDD having nyo othew 
reason >_> but uWu because xDD thou x3 hast :3 hazew :3 eyes. >_> What ^w^ eye >_> but xDD such >w< an ^w^ eye 
^.^ wouwd ^w^ spy x3 out xDD such :3 a OwO quawwew? x3 Thy >_> head >_> is >_< as full of quarrels >_< as 
>w< an >_> egg >_> is full of :3 meat; ÚwÚ and yet >w< thy >_> head hath :33 been beaten >_< as 
;;w;; addwe >_< as >w< an >_> egg fow quawwewwing. ^.^ Thou x3 hast quawweww'd with :3 a x3 man 
fow coughing uWu in x3 the stweet, uWu because ^.^ he hath wakened >w< thy dog :3 that 
hath xDD wain ;;w;; asweep uWu in x3 the OwO sun. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot faww x3 out with :3 a 
^w^ taiwow fow UwU weawing :33 his x3 nyew ^w^ doubwet >w< befowe ÚwÚ Eastew, with anyothew 
fow tying :33 his x3 nyew xDD shoes with >w< an ;;w;; owd wiband? xDD And yet xDD thou wiwt 
;;w;; tutow ;;w;; me from xDD quawwewwing! 
^-^ Ben. ^-^ An UwU I :3 wewe UwU so ^-^ apt to ^-^ quawwew >_< as xDD thou awt, xDD any x3 man >_> shouwd UwU buy 
x3 the ^.^ fee :33 simpwe of x3 my >w< wife fow >w< an >_> houw ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 quawtew. 
Mew. uWu The ^.^ fee ;;w;; simpwe? x3 O simple! 

Entew Tybawt ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. 

^-^ Ben. ^-^ By x3 my head, OwO hewe come x3 the UwU Capuwets. 
Mew. ^-^ By x3 my ;;w;; heew, UwU I :3 cawe not. 
Tyb. Follow ;;w;; me cwose, fow UwU I xDD wiww speak to OwO them. 
ÚwÚ Gentwemen, ÚwÚ good >_> den. ^-^ A ;;w;; wowd with one of OwO you. 
Mew. xDD And >_> but one ;;w;; wowd with one of us? 
UwU Coupwe >w< it with something; >_< make >w< it :3 a ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> bwow. 
Tyb. >_> You UwU shaww find ;;w;; me ^-^ apt enough to :3 that, ^w^ siw, >w< an xDD you xDD wiww UwU give ;;w;; me 
:33 occasion. 
Mew. Could xDD you nyot OwO take x3 some ;;w;; occasion ^-^ without ^.^ giving 
Tyb. Mewcutio, xDD thou consortest with ^-^ Womeo. 
Mew. Consort? What, dost xDD thou >_< make >_> us :33 minstwews? ^-^ An xDD thou >_< make 
xDD minstwews of us, wook to hear >_< nyothing >_> but discords. >_> Hewe's x3 my 
fiddlestick; hewe's :3 that UwU shaww >_< make xDD you >_< dance. Zounds, >w< consowt! 
^-^ Ben. We tawk OwO hewe uWu in x3 the public >_> haunt of ^.^ men. 
^-^ Eithew >_< withdwaw >w< unto x3 some >_> pwivate :33 pwace 
xDD And reason coldly of x3 youw grievances, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse uWu depawt. :3 Hewe aww eyes ÚwÚ gaze on >_> us. 
Mew. xDD Men's eyes :3 wewe UwU made to look, ÚwÚ and wet them ^-^ gaze. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot :3 budge fow nyo :33 man's x3 pweasuwe, 

Entew ^-^ Womeo. 

Tyb. xDD Weww, uWu peace be with UwU you, sir. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my man. 
Mew. OwO But I'll be uWu hang'd, ^w^ siw, >_> if ^.^ he ^-^ weaw x3 youw >w< wivewy. 
OwO Mawwy, OwO go >w< befowe to >_> fiewd, he'ww be x3 youw follower! 
uWu Youw :33 wowship uWu in :3 that sense OwO may caww ^.^ him man. 
Tyb. ;;w;; Womeo, x3 the wuv UwU I UwU beaw uWu thee ^.^ can UwU affowd 
No xDD bettew term than :33 this: xDD thou awt :3 a villain. 
Rom. uWu Tybawt, x3 the reason :3 that UwU I uWu have to wuv uWu thee 
^-^ Doth much UwU excuse x3 the ^.^ appewtainying xDD wage 
;;w;; To xDD such :3 a ^.^ gweeting. ^w^ Viwwain ^w^ am UwU I none. 
Therefore farewell. UwU I >_> see xDD thou knowest ;;w;; me not. 
Tyb. :33 Boy, ÚwÚ this UwU shaww nyot UwU excuse x3 the x3 injuwies 
:33 That xDD thou x3 hast donye OwO me; >_< thewefowe turn ÚwÚ and OwO dwaw. 
Rom. UwU I UwU do ^w^ pwotest UwU I >_< nyevew >w< injuw'd ÚwÚ thee, 
OwO But wuv uWu thee xDD bettew than xDD thou ;;w;; canst >w< devise 
Tiww xDD thou shalt ^.^ knyow x3 the reason of x3 my love; 
xDD And UwU so ÚwÚ good >_< Capuwet, which xDD nyame UwU I xDD tendew 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ deawwy >_< as >_< minye OwO own, be xDD satisfied. 
Mew. x3 O calm, dishonourable, ^-^ viwe submission! 
ÚwÚ Awwa stoccata xDD cawwies >w< it xDD away. OwO [Dwaws.] 
uWu Tybawt, xDD you >_> watcatchew, xDD wiww xDD you xDD wawk? 
Tyb. >_> What wouldst xDD thou uWu have with me? 
Mew. ^-^ Good ^w^ King of ^-^ Cats, >_< nyothing >_> but one of x3 youw >w< nyinye ^.^ wives. :33 That UwU I 
>_> mean to >_< make bold withaw, x3 and, >_< as xDD you UwU shaww use ;;w;; me heweaftew, 
dwy-beat x3 the xDD west of x3 the xDD eight. Will xDD you pluck x3 youw xDD swowd x3 out of 
:33 his :33 pitchew ^.^ by x3 the ears? ^-^ Make xDD haste, xDD west >_< minye be about x3 youw OwO eaws 
ere >w< it be OwO out. 
Tyb. UwU I ^w^ am fow OwO you. OwO [Dwaws.] 
Rom. ^w^ Gentwe Mewcutio, put >w< thy rapier :33 up. 
Mew. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, x3 youw :33 passado! 
^w^ [They x3 fight.] 
Rom. ^.^ Dwaw, Benvolio; xDD beat down uWu theiw uWu weapons. 
ÚwÚ Gentwemen, fow x3 shame! ÚwÚ fowbeaw ÚwÚ this >w< outwage! 
uWu Tybawt, Mewcutio, x3 the Prince >w< expwesswy hath 
x3 Fowbid ÚwÚ this ^.^ bandying uWu in Vewonya stweets. 
UwU Howd, xDD Tybawt! ^-^ Good Mercutio! 
Tybawt :33 undew Romeo's awm thrusts >w< Mewcutio x3 in, ÚwÚ and fwies 
^w^ [with :33 his ;;w;; Fowwowews]. 
Mew. UwU I ^w^ am x3 huwt. 
^-^ A pwague ^.^ o' both x3 youw houses! UwU I ^w^ am sped. 
Is ^.^ he >_> gonye ÚwÚ and hath nyothing? 
^-^ Ben. What, awt xDD thou huwt? 
Mew. Ay, :33 ay, :3 a xDD scwatch, :3 a >_> scwatch. OwO Mawwy, UwU 'tis enyough. 
Whewe >_> is x3 my ^w^ page? ^w^ Go, villain, :3 fetch :3 a surgeon. 
;;w;; [Exit uWu Page.] 
Rom. OwO Couwage, man. uWu The ÚwÚ huwt ;;w;; cannyot be :33 much. 
Mew. :3 Nyo, UwU 'tis nyot UwU so >_> deep >_< as :3 a weww, nor UwU so uWu wide >_< as :3 a ^-^ chuwch door; 
>_> but UwU 'tis UwU enyough, 'twill ^.^ sewve. ;;w;; Ask fow ;;w;; me ^.^ to-mowwow, ÚwÚ and xDD you 
UwU shaww find ;;w;; me :3 a :3 gwave man. UwU I ^w^ am UwU peppewed, UwU I warrant, fow ÚwÚ this 
wowwd. ^-^ A pwague ^.^ o' both x3 youw houses! Zounds, :3 a dog, :3 a rat, :3 a 
>_< mouse, :3 a cat, to x3 scwatch :3 a x3 man to ;;w;; death! :3 a :3 bwaggawt, :3 a :33 wogue, :3 a 
villain, :3 that >_< fights ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ book of arithmetic! Why x3 the ^.^ deviw 
^-^ came xDD you ^-^ between us? UwU I UwU was ÚwÚ huwt :33 undew x3 youw awm. 
Rom. UwU I xDD thought aww fow x3 the >_> best. 
Mew. ^-^ Hewp ;;w;; me x3 into x3 some house, ÚwÚ Benvowio, 
:33 Ow UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ faint. ^-^ A pwague ^.^ o' both x3 youw houses! 
^-^ They uWu have UwU made wowms' :3 meat of x3 me. UwU I uWu have :33 it, 
xDD And uWu soundwy UwU too. uWu Youw houses! 
>w< [Exit. :3 [suppowted ^.^ by ^w^ Benvowio]. 
Rom. This gentweman, x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's nyeaw awwy, 
OwO My xDD vewy fwiend, hath ^w^ got ÚwÚ this >w< mowtaw ÚwÚ huwt 
^w^ In x3 my behawf- x3 my >_< weputation x3 stain'd 
With Tybalt's ;;w;; swandew- uWu Tybawt, :3 that >w< an >_> houw 
>_< Hath :33 been x3 my kinsman. x3 O x3 sweet Juwiet, 
x3 Thy beauty hath UwU made ;;w;; me effeminyate 
xDD And uWu in x3 my xDD tempew soft'nyed :33 vawouw's steew 

Entew Benvowio. 

^-^ Ben. x3 O ;;w;; Womeo, ;;w;; Womeo, >_< bwave :33 Mewcutio's ÚwÚ dead! 
:33 That OwO gawwant ^w^ spiwit hath aspiw'd x3 the >_> cwouds, 
>_< Which ^w^ too untimely OwO hewe uWu did ^w^ scown x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
Rom. This day's black fate on ^-^ moe OwO days xDD doth xDD depend; 
This >_> but ÚwÚ begins x3 the woe ;;w;; othews ^w^ must OwO end. 

Entew Tybalt. 

^-^ Ben. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the ÚwÚ fuwious Tybawt back ;;w;; again. 
Rom. ÚwÚ Awive uWu in :3 twiumph, ÚwÚ and >w< Mewcutio slain? 
UwU Away to heaven :33 wespective uWu wenyity, 
xDD And ^.^ fiwe-ey'd UwU fuwy be x3 my ÚwÚ conduct >_< nyow! 
>_> Nyow, uWu Tybawt, OwO take x3 the 'villain' back again 
:33 That wate xDD thou >w< gavest OwO me; fow :33 Mewcutio's :3 souw 
Is >_> but :3 a xDD wittwe uWu way :33 abuv UwU ouw >_< heads, 
>_< Staying fow ^.^ thinye to >_< keep ^.^ him UwU company. 
^-^ Eithew xDD thou ow I, ow xDD both, ^w^ must OwO go with ^.^ him. 
Tyb. Thou, wwetched ^-^ boy, :3 that :33 didst consort ^.^ him UwU hewe, 
>_> Shawt with ^.^ him x3 hence. 
Rom. This UwU shaww determine x3 that. 
^-^ They ^w^ fight. Tybawt ^w^ fawws. 
^-^ Ben. ;;w;; Womeo, away, be ÚwÚ gonye! 
uWu The :3 citizens OwO awe up, ÚwÚ and Tybawt ^w^ swain. 
;;w;; Stand nyot amaz'd. uWu The Prince xDD wiww >_< doom uWu thee :33 death 
;;w;; If xDD thou awt >_< taken. Hence, be >w< gonye, away! 
Rom. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; fowtunye's foow! 
^-^ Ben. Why dost xDD thou stay? 
uWu Exit ^-^ Womeo. 
Entew uWu Citizens. 

uWu Citizen. >_< Which uWu way wan ^.^ he :3 that kill'd OwO Mewcutio? 
uWu Tybawt, :3 that muwthewew, which uWu way wan uWu he? 
^-^ Ben. >_> Thewe wies :3 that Tybalt. 
uWu Citizen. ^-^ Up, ^w^ siw, OwO go with x3 me. 
UwU I :3 chawge uWu thee uWu in x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's xDD nyame OwO obey. 

Entew Prince :33 [attended], ^-^ Owd >_< Montague, >_< Capuwet, uWu theiw Wives, 
ÚwÚ and [others]. 

UwU Pwince. Whewe OwO awe x3 the ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ beginnyews of ÚwÚ this fray? 
^-^ Ben. x3 O x3 nyobwe UwU Pwince. UwU I ^.^ can OwO discuvw aww 
uWu The unlucky manage of ÚwÚ this uWu fataw brawl. 
>_> Thewe wies x3 the ^w^ man, :3 swain ^.^ by xDD young ;;w;; Womeo, 
:33 That >_< swew >w< thy xDD kinsman, >_< bwave >_< Mewcutio. 
uWu Cap. Wife. uWu Tybawt, x3 my x3 cousin! x3 O x3 my brother's >_> chiwd! 
x3 O >w< Pwince! x3 O ÚwÚ husband! >_< O, x3 the :3 bwood >_> is :3 spiww'd 
Of x3 my uWu deaw kinsman! >_< Pwince, >_< as xDD thou awt ^-^ twue, 
For :3 bwood of ouws x3 shed :3 bwood of >_> Montague. 
x3 O OwO cousin, x3 cousin! 
UwU Pwince. ÚwÚ Benvowio, who began ÚwÚ this bwoody fray? 
^-^ Ben. uWu Tybawt, OwO hewe x3 swain, ÚwÚ whom Romeo's uWu hand uWu did >_< stay. 
;;w;; Womeo, :3 that ^-^ spoke ^.^ him faiw, bid ^.^ him ^.^ bethink 
How UwU nyice x3 the ^-^ quawwew UwU was, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; uwg'd withal 
uWu Youw xDD high dispweasuwe. All OwO this- uttered 
With ^-^ gentwe :33 bweath, ÚwÚ cawm look, knees x3 humbwy bow'd- 
Could nyot OwO take truce with x3 the ^-^ unwuwy UwU spween 
Of Tybawt deaf to ÚwÚ peace, >_> but :3 that ^.^ he tilts 
With piewcing steew uWu at bold :33 Mewcutio's >_< bweast; 
UwU Who, aww >_< as >_> hot, tuwns deadwy :33 point to UwU point, 
^.^ And, with :3 a martial ^.^ scown, with one uWu hand ÚwÚ beats 
x3 Cowd :33 death :3 aside ÚwÚ and with x3 the othew OwO sends 
^.^ It back to uWu Tybawt, x3 whose >_> dextewity 
>_> Wetowts :3 it. >_< Womeo ^.^ he x3 cwies ^w^ awoud, 
>_> 'Howd, ÚwÚ fwiends! OwO fwiends, :33 pawt!' ÚwÚ and ^w^ swiftew than :33 his ;;w;; tongue, 
ÚwÚ His UwU agiwe awm ÚwÚ beats down uWu theiw uWu fataw points, 
xDD And 'twixt them wushes; undewnyeath x3 whose awm 
^-^ An envious thwust from Tybawt ;;w;; hit x3 the >w< wife 
Of :33 stout Mewcutio, ÚwÚ and xDD then Tybawt fled; 
OwO But by-and-by x3 comes back to ;;w;; Womeo, 
Who xDD had >_> but x3 nyewwy entertain'd UwU wevenge, 
xDD And uWu to't ;;w;; they OwO go ^.^ wike uWu wightnying; for, ere UwU I 
Could dwaw to ÚwÚ pawt ÚwÚ them, UwU was :33 stout Tybawt slain; 
^.^ And, >_< as ^.^ he fell, uWu did >_< Womeo turn ÚwÚ and fwy. 
This >_> is x3 the truth, ow wet Benvolio die. 
uWu Cap. Wife. >w< He >_> is :3 a kinsman to x3 the OwO Montague; 
OwO Affection x3 makes ^.^ him :3 fawse, ^.^ he xDD speaks nyot true. 
;;w;; Some ÚwÚ twenty of them ÚwÚ fought uWu in ÚwÚ this black OwO stwife, 
xDD And aww UwU those ÚwÚ twenty couwd >_> but OwO kiww one life. 
UwU I ÚwÚ beg fow justice, which UwU thou, >_< Pwince, ^w^ must give. 
>_< Womeo >_< swew Tybalt; >_< Womeo ^w^ must nyot wive. 
UwU Pwince. >_< Womeo >_< swew him; ^.^ he >_< swew >_< Mewcutio. 
Who nyow x3 the pwice of :33 his uWu deaw :3 bwood xDD doth >_< owe? 
Mon. ÚwÚ Nyot ;;w;; Womeo, >_< Pwince; ^.^ he UwU was :33 Mewcutio's fwiend; 
ÚwÚ His ;;w;; fauwt concwudes >_> but >_> what x3 the law >_> shouwd ^w^ end, 
uWu The >w< wife of Tybalt. 
UwU Pwince. xDD And fow :3 that offence 
;;w;; Immediatewy ^.^ we UwU do exiwe ^.^ him x3 hence. 
UwU I uWu have >w< an ÚwÚ intewest uWu in x3 youw xDD hate's pwoceeding, 
OwO My :3 bwood fow x3 youw wude >_< bwawws xDD doth >_< wie uWu a-bweeding; 
OwO But I'll xDD amewce xDD you with UwU so >w< stwong :3 a OwO finye 
:33 That xDD you UwU shaww aww wepent x3 the ^-^ woss of ^w^ minye. 
UwU I xDD wiww be deaf to xDD pweading ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ excuses; 
x3 Nyow tears nor >_< pwayews UwU shaww puwchase x3 out xDD abuses. 
Therefore use none. Let >_< Womeo >w< hence uWu in xDD haste, 
^w^ Ewse, when ^.^ he >_> is >_> found, :3 that >_> houw >_> is :33 his last. 
ÚwÚ Beaw >w< hence ÚwÚ this ;;w;; body, ÚwÚ and >_< attend UwU ouw :33 wiww. 
^w^ Mewcy >_> but ;;w;; muwdews, pardoning UwU those :3 that UwU kiww. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
UwU Capuwet's ^-^ owchawd. 

Entew Juwiet >_< awonye. 

^w^ Juw. :33 Gawwop xDD apace, xDD you >_> fiewy-footed ;;w;; steeds, 
Towards x3 Phoebus' ÚwÚ wodging! >w< Such :3 a wagoner 
;;w;; As xDD Phaeton ^.^ wouwd whip xDD you to x3 the xDD West 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing uWu in cwoudy >w< nyight immediately. 
>w< Spwead >w< thy ^-^ cwose ^w^ cuwtain, wuv-pewfowming night, 
:33 That ^.^ wunyaway eyes OwO may ;;w;; wink, ÚwÚ and >_< Womeo 
UwU Weap to these :3 awms untalk'd of ÚwÚ and ;;w;; unseen. 
x3 Wuvws ^.^ can >_> see to UwU do uWu theiw :3 amowous rites 
^-^ By uWu theiw UwU own xDD beauties; or, >_> if wuv be ÚwÚ bwind, 
^.^ It best :3 agwees with OwO nyight. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ civiw night, 
^.^ Thou sobew-suited ^w^ matwon, aww uWu in black, 
xDD And :3 weawn ;;w;; me >w< how to wose :3 a winnying ;;w;; match, 
x3 Pway'd fow :3 a :33 paiw of stainwess uWu maidenhoods. 
x3 Hood x3 my unmann'd bwood, ÚwÚ bating uWu in x3 my cheeks, 
With >w< thy black ^-^ mantwe >w< tiww ;;w;; stwange xDD wuv, grown >w< bowd, 
^w^ Think true wuv OwO acted :33 simpwe OwO modesty. 
^.^ Come, ^w^ nyight; come, Romeo; come, xDD thou day uWu in ^w^ nyight; 
For xDD thou wiwt >_< wie ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 wings of >w< nyight 
^w^ Whitew than x3 nyew >w< snyow ;;w;; upon :3 a raven's back. 
^.^ Come, ^-^ gentwe ^w^ nyight; come, >w< woving, bwack-bwow'd ^w^ nyight; 
Give ;;w;; me x3 my Romeo; x3 and, when ^.^ he UwU shaww >_> die, 
^.^ Take ^.^ him ÚwÚ and :3 cut ^.^ him x3 out uWu in xDD wittwe ÚwÚ staws, 
xDD And ^.^ he xDD wiww >_< make x3 the OwO face of heaven UwU so OwO finye 
:33 That aww x3 the wowwd xDD wiww be uWu in wuv with >w< nyight 
xDD And x3 pay nyo :33 wowship to x3 the ^w^ gawish OwO sun. 
>_< O, UwU I uWu have xDD bought x3 the >_< mansion of :3 a xDD wuv, 
OwO But nyot >_< possess'd uWu it; ÚwÚ and ^w^ though UwU I ^w^ am UwU sowd, 
ÚwÚ Nyot yet >_< enjoy'd. ^w^ So tedious >_> is ÚwÚ this day 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the >w< nyight >w< befowe x3 some festival 
;;w;; To >w< an ;;w;; impatient chiwd :3 that hath x3 nyew ^-^ wobes 
xDD And OwO may nyot ^-^ weaw OwO them. >_< O, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 my xDD nyuwse, 

Entew Nyuwse, with :3 cowds. 

xDD And ^.^ she >_< bwings nyews; ÚwÚ and every >_> tongue :3 that xDD speaks 
OwO But Romeo's xDD nyame xDD speaks ^-^ heavenwy :3 ewoquence. 
>_> Nyow, xDD nyuwse, >_> what nyews? >_> What x3 hast xDD thou OwO thewe? x3 the cowds 
:33 That >_< Womeo bid uWu thee :3 fetch? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Ay, :33 ay, x3 the :3 cowds. 
[Throws them :33 down.] 
^w^ Juw. uWu Ay me! >_> what nyews? Why dost xDD thou wring >w< thy ^.^ hands 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. xDD Ah, UwU wewaday! uWu he's >_< dead, uWu he's >_< dead, uWu he's ÚwÚ dead! 
We OwO awe >_< undonye, UwU wady, ^.^ we OwO awe undone! 
Alack x3 the ^.^ day! uWu he's >w< gonye, uWu he's ^.^ kiww'd, uWu he's ÚwÚ dead! 
^w^ Juw. UwU Can heaven be UwU so ^.^ envious? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. >_< Womeo ^-^ can, 
;;w;; Though heaven cannot. x3 O ;;w;; Womeo, ÚwÚ Womeo! 
Who OwO evew ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD thought :33 it? ÚwÚ Womeo! 
^w^ Juw. >_> What ^.^ deviw awt xDD thou :3 that dost x3 towment ;;w;; me >_< thus? 
This towtuwe >_> shouwd be >w< woaw'd uWu in ÚwÚ dismaw uWu heww. 
>_< Hath >_< Womeo :3 swain :33 himsewf? x3 Say xDD thou >_> but 'I,' 
xDD And :3 that OwO bawe ÚwÚ vowew ^w^ 'I' UwU shaww x3 poison ^.^ mowe 
Than x3 the ^.^ death-dawting ^w^ eye of cockatwice. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot I, >_> if there be xDD such >w< an x3 'I'; 
:33 Ow UwU those eyes shut :3 that >_< make uWu thee answew ^-^ 'I.' 
;;w;; If be be x3 swain, >_> say x3 'I'; ow >_> if >_> nyot, 'no.' 
:3 Bwief sounds determine of x3 my ^-^ weaw ow woe. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. UwU I saw x3 the ^-^ wound, UwU I saw >w< it with >_< minye ^w^ eyes, 
^-^ (God :3 save x3 the uWu mawk!) OwO hewe on :33 his xDD manwy UwU bweast. 
^-^ A ^.^ piteous :33 cowse, :3 a bwoody ^.^ piteous UwU cowse; 
:3 Pawe, pawe >_< as :3 ashes, aww >_> bedaub'd uWu in bwood, 
All uWu in >w< gowe-bwood. UwU I swounded uWu at x3 the :33 sight. 
^w^ Juw. >_< O, break, x3 my :33 heawt! poor >_< bankwout, bweak uWu at uWu once! 
;;w;; To pwison, eyes; ^w^ nye'ew wook on wibewty! 
^-^ Viwe earth, to ^.^ eawth xDD wesign; >w< end >_> motion UwU hewe, 
xDD And xDD thou ÚwÚ and >_< Womeo x3 pwess one x3 heavy bier! 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. x3 O uWu Tybawt, uWu Tybawt, x3 the best :33 fwiend UwU I :33 had! 
x3 O ^-^ couwteous xDD Tybawt! xDD honyest ÚwÚ gentweman 
:33 That OwO evew UwU I >_> shouwd ^w^ wive to >_> see uWu thee ÚwÚ dead! 
^w^ Juw. >_> What x3 stowm >_> is ÚwÚ this :3 that ^w^ bwows UwU so uWu contwawy? 
Is >_< Womeo >w< swaught'wed, ÚwÚ and >_> is Tybawt dead? 
OwO My UwU deaw-wov'd OwO cousin, ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ deawew xDD wowd? 
Then, :3 dweadfuw trumpet, >_> sound x3 the general >w< doom! 
For who >_> is >w< wiving, >_> if UwU those >w< two OwO awe gone? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Tybawt >_> is >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and >_< Womeo banyished; 
>_< Womeo :3 that kill'd :3 him, ^.^ he >_> is x3 banyished. 
^w^ Juw. x3 O uWu God! Did Romeo's uWu hand x3 shed Tybalt's >_< bwood? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^.^ It ^-^ did, >w< it ;;w;; did! alas x3 the ^-^ day, >w< it ;;w;; did! 
^w^ Juw. x3 O serpent uWu heawt, >_< hid with :3 a >_> fwow'wing :3 face! 
Did OwO evew >_> dwagon >_< keep UwU so >w< faiw :3 a cave? 
^w^ Beautifuw tyrant! >_< fiend UwU angewicaw! 
>w< Duv-feathew'd xDD waven! wowvish-wavenying uWu wamb! 
>w< Despised ÚwÚ substance of :3 divinyest ÚwÚ show! 
;;w;; Just opposite to >_> what xDD thou >_< justwy seem'st- 
^-^ A uWu damnyed UwU saint, >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe :33 viwwain! 
x3 O nyatuwe, >_> what >w< hadst xDD thou to UwU do uWu in heww 
x3 When xDD thou :33 didst bowew x3 the ^w^ spiwit of :3 a >_< fiend 
^w^ In >w< mowtaw paradise of xDD such x3 sweet flesh? 
Was OwO evew ^w^ book xDD containying xDD such ^-^ viwe ;;w;; mattew 
^w^ So ^.^ faiwwy ;;w;; bound? >_< O, :3 that ;;w;; deceit >_> shouwd dwell 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a gowgeous OwO pawace! 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. >_> Thewe's nyo ^w^ twust, 
No ^w^ faith, nyo honesty uWu in ÚwÚ men; aww perjur'd, 
All forsworn, aww nyaught, aww dissemblers. 
xDD Ah, where's x3 my man? Give ;;w;; me x3 some OwO aqua vitae. 
;;w;; These ^.^ gwiefs, these :33 woes, these ^w^ sowwows >_< make ;;w;; me ^-^ owd. 
Shame come to ÚwÚ Womeo! 
^w^ Juw. ÚwÚ Bwistew'd be >w< thy >_> tongue 
For xDD such :3 a wish! >w< He UwU was nyot bown to ;;w;; shame. 
>_> Upon :33 his ^w^ bwow ^-^ shame >_> is >w< asham'd to ^.^ sit; 
For UwU 'tis :3 a >_< thwonye :3 whewe honour OwO may be cwown'd 
Sole :33 monyawch of x3 the ^-^ unyivewsaw ;;w;; eawth. 
>_< O, >_> what :3 a beast UwU was UwU I to UwU chide uWu at x3 him! 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Will xDD you speak weww of ^.^ him :3 that kill'd x3 youw cousin? 
^w^ Juw. Shall UwU I speak :33 iww of ^.^ him :3 that >_> is x3 my OwO husband? 
xDD Ah, poor x3 my uWu wowd, >_> what >_> tongue UwU shaww x3 smooth >w< thy xDD nyame 
x3 When I, >w< thy three-hours :3 wife, uWu have OwO mangwed :33 it? 
OwO But ÚwÚ whewefowe, villain, :33 didst xDD thou OwO kiww x3 my cousin? 
:33 That viwwain xDD cousin ^.^ wouwd uWu have kill'd x3 my husband. 
^w^ Back, >_< foowish ^-^ teaws, back to x3 youw OwO nyative >w< spwing! 
uWu Youw :3 twibutawy ^.^ dwops OwO bewong to woe, 
>_< Which UwU you, >w< mistaking, offer x3 up to ^-^ joy. 
OwO My :33 husband lives, :3 that Tybawt ^.^ wouwd uWu have slain; 
xDD And Tybalt's >_< dead, :3 that ^.^ wouwd uWu have :3 swain x3 my husband. 
All ÚwÚ this >_> is uWu comfowt; ^-^ whewefowe xDD weep UwU I ^w^ then? 
;;w;; Some ;;w;; wowd there UwU was, >_> wowsew than Tybalt's UwU death, 
:33 That ^-^ muwd'wed x3 me. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 fowget >w< it >_> fain; 
OwO But >_< O, >w< it ;;w;; pwesses to x3 my ^w^ memowy 
Wike uWu damnyed guiwty >_< deeds to >_< sinnyews' ^w^ minds! 
^w^ 'Tybawt >_> is >_< dead, ÚwÚ and ^.^ Womeo- ^.^ banyished.' 
:33 That 'banyished,' :3 that one ;;w;; wowd 'banyished,' 
>_< Hath :3 swain ;;w;; ten thousand OwO Tybawts. Tybalt's :33 death 
Was woe UwU enyough, >_> if >w< it xDD had >_< ended uWu thewe; 
:3 Ow, >_> if :3 souw woe dewights uWu in fewwowship 
xDD And xDD nyeedwy xDD wiww be rank'd with othew ^.^ gwiefs, 
Why fowwowed >_> nyot, when ^.^ she uWu said ;;w;; 'Tybawt's ^w^ dead,' 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ fathew, ow >w< thy :33 mothew, x3 nyay, ow xDD both, 
>_< Which modern wamentation ^w^ might uWu have >_> mov'd? 
OwO But with :3 a rearward fowwowing Tybalt's UwU death, 
'Womeo >_> is >_> banyished'- to speak :3 that ;;w;; wowd 
Is ÚwÚ fathew, :33 mothew, uWu Tybawt, ;;w;; Womeo, Juwiet, 
All x3 swain, aww uWu dead. 'Womeo >_> is >_> banyished'- 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo ^w^ end, nyo >_< wimit, uWu measuwe, xDD bound, 
^w^ In :3 that word's ÚwÚ death; nyo wowds ^.^ can :3 that woe UwU sound. 
Whewe >_> is x3 my >w< fathew ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 mothew, x3 nyuwse? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Weeping ÚwÚ and x3 waiwing uvw Tybalt's :3 cowse. 
Will xDD you OwO go to them? UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing xDD you xDD thithew. 
^w^ Juw. Wash ;;w;; they :33 his wounds with teaws? Mine UwU shaww be >_< spent, 
x3 When theirs OwO awe ^.^ dwy, fow Romeo's >_> banyishment. 
^.^ Take x3 up UwU those :3 cowds. OwO Poow ropes, xDD you OwO awe ^.^ beguiw'd, 
UwU Both xDD you ÚwÚ and I, fow >_< Womeo >_> is uWu exiw'd. 
>w< He UwU made xDD you fow :3 a highway to x3 my bed; 
OwO But I, :3 a ;;w;; maid, ^-^ die ^-^ maiden-widowed. 
^.^ Come, cowds; come, nurse. I'll to x3 my ÚwÚ wedding bed; 
xDD And UwU death, nyot ;;w;; Womeo, OwO take x3 my x3 maidenhead! 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Hie to x3 youw ^.^ chambew. I'll find >_< Womeo 
;;w;; To uWu comfowt OwO you. UwU I uWu wot weww :3 whewe ^.^ he >w< is. 
^.^ Hawk :3 ye, x3 youw >_< Womeo xDD wiww be OwO hewe uWu at OwO nyight. 
I'll to him; ^.^ he >_> is >_< hid uWu at Laurence' >w< ceww. 
^w^ Juw. >_< O, find x3 him! UwU give ÚwÚ this OwO wing to x3 my true knight 
xDD And bid ^.^ him come to OwO take :33 his >w< wast farewell. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
uWu Fwiaw Laurence's >w< ceww. 

Entew uWu Fwiaw ^-^ [Wauwence]. 

Fwiaw. ;;w;; Womeo, come forth; come ^-^ fowth, xDD thou x3 feawfuw man. 
Affwiction >_> is ^.^ enyanmouw'd of >w< thy xDD pawts, 
xDD And xDD thou awt >w< wedded to calamity. 

Entew ^-^ Womeo. 

Rom. :3 Fathew, >_> what nyews? >_> What >_> is x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's >_< doom 
>_> What sorrow cwaves >_< acquaintance uWu at x3 my uWu hand 
:33 That UwU I yet ^.^ knyow ^w^ nyot? 
Fwiaw. Too ^.^ famiwiaw 
Is x3 my uWu deaw >_< son with xDD such :3 souw UwU company. 
UwU I ;;w;; bwing uWu thee UwU tidings of x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's doom. 
Rom. >_> What less than >_< doomsday >_> is x3 the ;;w;; Pwince's >_> doom? 
Fwiaw. ^-^ A gentler ^w^ judgment vanyish'd from :33 his xDD wips- 
ÚwÚ Nyot body's UwU death, >_> but body's >_> banyishment. 
Rom. >w< Ha, banyishment? ^w^ Be :3 mewcifuw, >_> say ;;w;; 'death'; 
For exiwe hath ^.^ mowe tewwow uWu in :33 his look, 
Much ^.^ mowe than death. Do nyot >_> say ^.^ 'banyishment.' 
Fwiaw. OwO Hence from Vewonya awt xDD thou x3 banyished. 
^w^ Be *giggles shyly* patient, fow x3 the wowwd >_> is >_< bwoad ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wide. 
Rom. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo wowwd ^-^ without Vewonya walls, 
OwO But purgatory, torture, heww itself. 
OwO Hence banished >_> is banyish'd from x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
xDD And OwO wowwd's exiwe >_> is death. UwU Then 'banishment' 
Is :33 death >w< mistewm'd. ^w^ Cawwing :33 death x3 'banyishment,' 
^.^ Thou x3 cut'st x3 my >_> head x3 off with :3 a golden axe 
xDD And smilest ;;w;; upon x3 the ^w^ stwoke :3 that murders x3 me. 
Fwiaw. x3 O deadwy ^w^ sin! x3 O wude ^-^ unthankfuwnyess! 
x3 Thy ;;w;; fauwt UwU ouw law ;;w;; cawws ÚwÚ death; >_> but x3 the uWu kind >_< Pwince, 
:3 Taking >w< thy >_> pawt, hath uWu wush'd :3 aside x3 the waw, 
xDD And >_> tuwn'd :3 that black ;;w;; wowd :33 death to >_> banyishment. 
This >_> is uWu deaw mercy, ÚwÚ and xDD thou seest >w< it not. 
Rom. 'Tis torture, ÚwÚ and nyot mercy. uWu Heaven >_> is UwU hewe, 
Whewe Juwiet wives; ÚwÚ and every :33 cat ÚwÚ and dog 
xDD And xDD wittwe >_< mouse, every >_< unwowthy ÚwÚ thing, 
Wive OwO hewe uWu in heaven ÚwÚ and OwO may wook on >w< hew; 
OwO But >_< Womeo OwO may not. uWu Mowe uWu vawidity, 
uWu Mowe ^.^ honyouwabwe state, ^.^ mowe OwO couwtship ;;w;; wives 
^w^ In OwO cawwion fwies than ^-^ Womeo. ^-^ They OwO may x3 seize 
On x3 the ^-^ white wonder of uWu deaw ;;w;; Juwiet's uWu hand 
xDD And ^.^ steaw :3 immowtaw >_> bwessing from her :3 wips, 
UwU Who, even uWu in puwe ÚwÚ and :33 vestaw OwO modesty, 
UwU Stiww blush, >_< as uWu thinking uWu theiw UwU own ^-^ kisses sin; 
OwO But >_< Womeo OwO may nyot- ^.^ he >_> is x3 banyished. 
This OwO may fwies UwU do, when UwU I from ÚwÚ this ^w^ must xDD fwy; 
^-^ They OwO awe fwee men, >_> but UwU I ^w^ am x3 banyished. 
xDD And sayest xDD thou yet :3 that exiwe >_> is nyot UwU death? 
UwU Hadst xDD thou nyo x3 poison mix'd, nyo shawp-gwound ^-^ knyife, 
No ^.^ sudden >_> mean of UwU death, ^w^ though ^w^ nye'ew UwU so mean, 
OwO But 'banished' to OwO kiww me- 'banyished'? 
x3 O >_< fwiaw, x3 the uWu damnyed use :3 that ;;w;; wowd uWu in heww; 
Howling ^.^ attends :3 it! How x3 hast xDD thou x3 the uWu heawt, 
uWu Being :3 a divine, :3 a ghostly confessow, 
^-^ A OwO sin-absowvew, ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 fwiend ^.^ pwofess'd, 
;;w;; To mangwe ;;w;; me with :3 that ;;w;; wowd 'banyished'? 
Fwiaw. ^.^ Thou fond ^-^ mad ^w^ man, hear ;;w;; me :3 a xDD wittwe >_< speak. 
Rom. >_< O, xDD thou wiwt speak again of >_> banyishment. 
Fwiaw. I'll UwU give uWu thee ^-^ awmouw to >_< keep x3 off :3 that wowd; 
>_> Advewsity's x3 sweet xDD miwk, :33 phiwosophy, 
;;w;; To uWu comfowt ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ though xDD thou awt x3 banyished. 
Rom. ÚwÚ Yet 'banyished'? Hang x3 up philosophy! 
OwO Unwess x3 phiwosophy ^.^ can >_< make :3 a Juwiet, 
>w< Dispwant :3 a xDD town, >_< wevewse :3 a UwU pwince's doom, 
^.^ It helps >_> nyot, >w< it ^w^ pwevaiws not. Talk nyo more. 
Fwiaw. >_< O, xDD then UwU I >_> see :3 that OwO madmen uWu have nyo ears. 
Rom. How >_> shouwd >w< they, when :3 that uWu wise ;;w;; men uWu have nyo uWu eyes? 
Fwiaw. Let ;;w;; me :33 dispute with uWu thee of >w< thy estate. 
Rom. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot speak of :3 that xDD thou dost nyot feew. 
:33 Wewt xDD thou >_< as xDD young >_< as I, Juwiet >w< thy xDD wuv, 
^-^ An >_> houw >_> but >w< mawwied, Tybawt uWu muwdewed, 
^w^ Doting ^.^ wike uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike ;;w;; me :33 banyished, 
UwU Then ÚwÚ mightst xDD thou :3 speak, xDD then ÚwÚ mightst xDD thou teaw >w< thy hair, 
xDD And faww ;;w;; upon x3 the ground, >_< as UwU I UwU do now, 
:3 Taking x3 the UwU measuwe of >w< an ;;w;; unmade x3 gwave. 
Knock x3 [within]. 
Fwiaw. :3 Awise; one knyocks. ^-^ Good ;;w;; Womeo, hide thysewf. 
Rom. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 I; ^w^ unwess x3 the UwU bweath of xDD heawtsick :33 gwoans, 
^.^ Mist-wike x3 infowd ;;w;; me from x3 the ^-^ seawch of :3 eyes. Knock. 
Fwiaw. Hawk, >w< how ;;w;; they knock! Who's OwO thewe? ;;w;; Womeo, ;;w;; awise; 
^.^ Thou wiwt be :3 taken.- OwO Stay ÚwÚ awhiwe!- ;;w;; Stand xDD up; Knock. 
OwO Wun to x3 my ÚwÚ study.- ;;w;; By-and-by!- >_> God's :33 wiww, 
>_> What simpwenyess >_> is >w< this.- UwU I come, UwU I >w< come! Knock. 
Who ÚwÚ knyocks UwU so hawd? OwO Whence come you? x3 What's x3 youw xDD wiww 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. >_> [within] Let ;;w;; me come x3 in, ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ knyow x3 my ^-^ ewwand. 
UwU I come from xDD Wady Juliet. 
Fwiaw. Welcome UwU then. 

Entew ÚwÚ Nyuwse. 

ÚwÚ Nyuwse. x3 O >w< howy >_< fwiaw, >_< O, tell uWu me, >w< howy >w< fwiaw 
Whewe >_> is x3 my >_> wady's uWu wowd, where's ^.^ Womeo? 
Fwiaw. >_> Thewe on x3 the ground, with :33 his UwU own tears UwU made drunk. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. >_< O, ^.^ he >_> is even uWu in x3 my >_< mistwess' case, 
;;w;; Just uWu in her ^w^ case! 
Fwiaw. x3 O ^.^ woefuw sympathy! 
ÚwÚ Piteous ;;w;; pwedicament! 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Even UwU so wies uWu she, 
^w^ Bwubb'wing ÚwÚ and weeping, weeping ÚwÚ and :3 bwubbewing. 
;;w;; Stand up, stand ^-^ up! >_> Stand, >w< an xDD you be :3 a man. 
For ;;w;; Juwiet's ^w^ sake, fow her ^w^ sake, rise ÚwÚ and stand! 
Why >_> shouwd xDD you faww x3 into UwU so >_> deep >w< an >_> O? 
Rom. OwO (wises) Nyuwse- 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Ah sir! ah sir! xDD Weww, ^w^ death's x3 the >w< end of all. 
Rom. :3 Spakest xDD thou of Juliet? How >_> is >w< it with OwO hew? 
^-^ Doth nyot ^.^ she think ;;w;; me >w< an ;;w;; owd muwthewew, 
Now UwU I uWu have x3 stain'd x3 the childhood of UwU ouw joy 
With :3 bwood >w< wemov'd >_> but xDD wittwe from her >w< own? 
Whewe >_> is >_< she? ÚwÚ and >w< how xDD doth :33 she! ÚwÚ and >_> what ;;w;; says 
OwO My OwO conceaw'd uWu wady to UwU ouw cancell'd love? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. >_< O, ^.^ she ;;w;; says uWu nyothing, ^w^ siw, >_> but ^.^ weeps ÚwÚ and >_> weeps; 
xDD And nyow ^w^ fawws on her ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and xDD then starts up, 
xDD And Tybawt cawws; ÚwÚ and xDD then on >_< Womeo cries, 
xDD And xDD then down ^w^ fawws ;;w;; again. 
Rom. ;;w;; As >_> if :3 that :33 nyame, 
^-^ Shot from x3 the deadwy ^w^ wevew of :3 a ^.^ gun, 
Did muwthew >w< hew; >_< as :3 that name's uWu cuwsed uWu hand 
Murder'd her kinsman. >_< O, tell uWu me, >_< fwiaw, tell uWu me, 
^w^ In >_> what ^-^ viwe ÚwÚ pawt of ÚwÚ this anyatomy 
^-^ Doth x3 my xDD nyame lodge? Teww uWu me, :3 that UwU I OwO may ^-^ sack 
uWu The hateful mansion. [Draws :33 his dagger.] 
Fwiaw. :33 Howd >w< thy despewate >w< hand. 
Awt xDD thou :3 a man? x3 Thy >_< fowm x3 cwies x3 out xDD thou awt; 
x3 Thy tears OwO awe ÚwÚ womanyish, >w< thy >w< wiwd acts :3 denyote 
uWu The >w< unweasonyabwe UwU fuwy of :3 a beast. 
>_< Unseemwy OwO woman uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ seeming ;;w;; man! 
:33 Ow iww-beseeming beast uWu in ÚwÚ seeming UwU both! 
^.^ Thou x3 hast ^w^ amaz'd x3 me. ^-^ By x3 my >w< howy order, 
UwU I xDD thought >w< thy uWu disposition xDD bettew temper'd. 
Hast xDD thou :3 swain ^.^ Tybawt? ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou slay thyself? 
xDD And slay >w< thy uWu wady :3 that uWu in >w< thy >w< wife lives, 
^-^ By xDD doing uWu damnyed ^-^ hate ;;w;; upon thyself? 
Why waiwest xDD thou on >w< thy birth, x3 the ^.^ heaven, ÚwÚ and ^w^ eawth? 
Since birth ÚwÚ and heaven ÚwÚ and earth, aww >w< thwee UwU do :3 meet 
^w^ In uWu thee uWu at once; which xDD thou uWu at >_> once wouldst uWu wose. 
OwO Fie, >_< fie, xDD thou >_< shamest >w< thy UwU shape, >w< thy xDD wuv, >w< thy ^w^ wit, 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ usuwew, abound'st uWu in all, 
xDD And OwO usest >_< nyonye uWu in :3 that true use ÚwÚ indeed 
>_< Which >_> shouwd xDD bedeck >w< thy UwU shape, >w< thy xDD wuv, >w< thy >_< wit. 
x3 Thy x3 nyobwe xDD shape >_> is >_> but :3 a >_< fowm of OwO wax 
^.^ Digwessing from x3 the valour of :3 a xDD man; 
x3 Thy uWu deaw wuv sworn >_> but OwO howwow >_< pewjuwy, 
Killing :3 that wuv which xDD thou x3 hast ^.^ vow'd to cherish; 
x3 Thy ^w^ wit, :3 that ^w^ ownyament to xDD shape ÚwÚ and xDD wuv, 
Misshapen uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ conduct of them xDD both, 
Wike OwO powdew uWu in :3 a :33 skiwwess ^w^ sowdiew's ^.^ fwask, 
>_> is get uWu afiwe ^.^ by ^.^ thinye UwU own ignorance, 
xDD And xDD thou dismemb'red with ^.^ thinye UwU own OwO defence. 
What, wouse ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; man! x3 Thy Juwiet >_> is ^.^ awive, 
For x3 whose uWu deaw ÚwÚ sake xDD thou >w< wast >_> but :3 watewy uWu dead. 
>_> Thewe awt xDD thou ^-^ happy. Tybawt ^.^ wouwd OwO kiww ÚwÚ thee, 
OwO But xDD thou slewest Tybalt. >_> Thewe awt xDD thou ^w^ happy UwU too. 
uWu The waw, :3 that threat'ned UwU death, x3 becomes >w< thy :33 fwiend 
xDD And tuwns >w< it to :33 exiwe. >_> Thewe awt xDD thou ^-^ happy. 
^-^ A OwO pack of bwessings >w< wight ;;w;; upon >w< thy back; 
>_> Happinyess couwts uWu thee uWu in her best array; 
But, ^.^ wike :3 a :33 misbhav'd ÚwÚ and UwU suwwen >_> wench, 
^.^ Thou :33 pout'st ;;w;; upon >w< thy :3 fowtunye ÚwÚ and >w< thy love. 
^.^ Take ^-^ heed, OwO take ^-^ heed, fow xDD such ^-^ die >w< misewabwe. 
Go get uWu thee to >w< thy xDD wuv, >_< as UwU was UwU decweed, 
:3 Ascend her chamber, >w< hence ÚwÚ and uWu comfowt her. 
OwO But wook xDD thou xDD stay nyot >w< tiww x3 the ;;w;; watch be ^-^ set, 
For xDD then xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot pass to uWu Mantua, 
Whewe xDD thou shalt ^w^ wive >w< tiww ^.^ we ^.^ can find :3 a time 
;;w;; To bwaze x3 youw ^.^ mawwiage, reconcile x3 youw OwO fwiends, 
>w< Beg UwU pawdon of x3 the >_< Pwince, ÚwÚ and caww uWu thee back 
With ÚwÚ twenty :3 hundwed thousand times ^.^ mowe joy 
Than xDD thou xDD went'st fowth uWu in wamentation. 
Go x3 befowe, nurse. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to >w< thy UwU wady, 
xDD And bid her x3 hasten aww x3 the ;;w;; house to ^.^ bed, 
>_< Which x3 heavy sorrow x3 makes them ^-^ apt UwU unto. 
>_< Womeo >_> is :3 coming. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. x3 O Wowd, UwU I couwd uWu have OwO stay'd OwO hewe aww x3 the >w< nyight 
;;w;; To hear ÚwÚ good :3 counsew. >_< O, >_> what :33 weawnying x3 is! 
OwO My uWu wowd, I'll tell x3 my uWu wady xDD you xDD wiww x3 come. 
Rom. Do >_> so, ÚwÚ and bid x3 my x3 sweet >_> pwepawe to >_< chide. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a OwO wing ^.^ she bid ;;w;; me UwU give UwU you, sir. 
Hie UwU you, >_< make xDD haste, fow >w< it gwows xDD vewy UwU wate. ÚwÚ Exit. 
Rom. How weww x3 my uWu comfowt >_> is xDD weviv'd ^.^ by x3 this! 
Fwiaw. Go OwO hence; ÚwÚ good ^w^ nyight; ÚwÚ and OwO hewe >w< stands aww x3 youw state: 
^-^ Eithew be >_> gonye >w< befowe x3 the ;;w;; watch be ^-^ set, 
:33 Ow ^.^ by x3 the bweak of day :33 disguis'd from x3 hence. 
Sojourn uWu in Mantua. I'll find x3 out x3 youw ^w^ man, 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww :33 signyify from time to time 
Evewy ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ hap to xDD you :3 that chances hewe. 
Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. 'Tis UwU wate. Farewell; ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
Rom. OwO But :3 that :3 a joy x3 past joy ;;w;; cawws x3 out on uWu me, 
^.^ It :3 wewe :3 a grief UwU so bwief to ÚwÚ pawt with thee. 
uWu Faweweww. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene :33 IV. 
UwU Capuwet's ;;w;; house 

Entew ^-^ Owd >_< Capuwet, :33 his >_< Wife, ÚwÚ and Paris. 

uWu Cap. ^w^ Things uWu have fall'n ^.^ out, ^w^ siw, UwU so xDD unwuckiwy 
:33 That ^.^ we uWu have xDD had nyo time to move UwU ouw >w< daughtew. 
Wook UwU you, ^.^ she :3 wov'd her kinsman Tybawt ^-^ deawwy, 
xDD And UwU so uWu did ^.^ I. xDD Weww, ^.^ we :3 wewe bown to die. 
'Tis xDD vewy late; ^.^ she'ww nyot come down to-night. 
UwU I promise UwU you, >_> but fow x3 youw xDD company, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 been abed >w< an >_> houw ago. 
;;w;; Paw. ;;w;; These times of woe UwU affowd nyo tune to UwU woo. 
uWu Madam, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to x3 youw >w< daughtew. 
^-^ Wady. UwU I :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow her ^-^ mind early to-morrow; 
;;w;; To-nyight ^w^ she's :33 mew'd x3 up to her heaviness. 
uWu Cap. Sir >_< Pawis, UwU I xDD wiww >_< make :3 a despewate xDD tendew 
Of x3 my chiwd's love. UwU I think ^.^ she xDD wiww be wuw'd 
^w^ In aww UwU wespects ^.^ by OwO me; x3 nyay >_> mowe, UwU I doubt >w< it not. 
>_< Wife, OwO go xDD you to her ere xDD you OwO go to bed; 
:3 Acquaint her OwO hewe of x3 my >_< son >_> Pawis' wuv 
xDD And bid her >w< (mawk xDD you :3 me?) on >w< Wednyesday ^w^ nyext- 
But, xDD soft! >_> what day >_> is :3 this? 
;;w;; Paw. ^.^ Monday, x3 my OwO wowd. 
uWu Cap. Monday! ha, :33 ha! xDD Weww, >w< Wednyesday >_> is ^w^ too :33 soon. 
>w< Thuwsday wet >w< it ^-^ be- :3 a >w< Thuwsday, tell her 
:33 She UwU shaww be mawwied to ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe earl. 
Will xDD you be ^-^ weady? Do xDD you ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this >w< haste? 
^-^ We'ww >_< keep nyo great x3 ado- :3 a :33 fwiend ow ^.^ two; 
For x3 hawk UwU you, Tybawt ^.^ being :3 swain UwU so late, 
^.^ It OwO may be xDD thought ^.^ we hewd ^.^ him cawewesswy, 
uWu Being UwU ouw xDD kinsman, >_> if ^.^ we ^w^ wevew :33 much. 
Therefore we'll uWu have x3 some half :3 a ^.^ dozen OwO fwiends, 
xDD And there >w< an OwO end. OwO But >_> what >_> say xDD you to uWu Thuwsday? 
;;w;; Paw. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 that >w< Thuwsday :3 wewe ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
uWu Cap. xDD Weww, get xDD you ;;w;; gonye. ^-^ A >w< Thuwsday be >w< it UwU then. 
Go xDD you to Juwiet ere xDD you OwO go to bed; 
Pwepawe hew, :3 wife, OwO against ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wedding x3 day. 
UwU Faweweww, OwO My xDD wowd.- Light to x3 my chamber, ho! 
Afore uWu me, ^.^ It >_> is UwU so xDD vewy xDD vewy wate 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO may caww >w< it early by-and-by. 
^-^ Good OwO nyight. 
Exeunt 




Scene V. 
UwU Capuwet's ^-^ owchawd. 

Entew >_< Womeo ÚwÚ and Juwiet awoft, uWu at x3 the Window. 

^w^ Juw. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou be gone? ^.^ It >_> is nyot yet nyeaw x3 day. 
^.^ It UwU was x3 the ^w^ nyightingawe, ÚwÚ and nyot x3 the wawk, 
:33 That x3 piewc'd x3 the x3 feawfuw OwO howwow of ^.^ thinye :3 eaw. 
Nightly ^.^ she ^-^ sings on :33 yond :3 pomegwanyate :33 twee. 
:3 Bewieve uWu me, xDD wuv, >w< it UwU was x3 the >w< nyightingawe. 
Rom. ^.^ It UwU was x3 the wawk, x3 the >_> hewawd of x3 the ÚwÚ mown; 
No >w< nyightingawe. x3 Wook, xDD wuv, >_> what envious >_< stweaks 
Do :33 wace x3 the sevewing :33 cwouds uWu in yonder :33 East. 
x3 Nyight's >_< candwes OwO awe burnt ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and OwO jocund day 
Stands tiptoe on x3 the ^w^ misty OwO mountain UwU tops. 
UwU I ^w^ must be >_> gonye ÚwÚ and x3 wive, ow xDD stay ÚwÚ and die. 
^w^ Juw. uWu Yond >w< wight >_> is nyot daylight; UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 it, ^.^ I. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 some meteor :3 that x3 the sun UwU exhawes 
;;w;; To be to uWu thee ÚwÚ this >w< nyight :3 a towchbeawew 
xDD And >w< wight uWu thee on x3 the uWu way to Mantua. 
Therefore xDD stay :33 yet; xDD thou uWu nyeed'st nyot to be ;;w;; gonye. 
Rom. Let ;;w;; me be x3 ta'en, wet ;;w;; me be put to death. 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU content, UwU so xDD thou wiwt uWu have >w< it :3 so. 
I'll >_> say >_< yon ^w^ gwey >_> is nyot x3 the :3 mownying's >_< eye, 
'Tis >_> but x3 the pawe OwO wefwex of Cynthia's brow; 
x3 Nyow :3 that >_> is nyot x3 the lark x3 whose >_> nyotes UwU do xDD beat 
uWu The :3 vauwty heaven UwU so xDD high :33 abuv UwU ouw :33 heads. 
UwU I uWu have ^.^ mowe :3 cawe to xDD stay than xDD wiww to ÚwÚ go. 
^.^ Come, UwU death, ÚwÚ and welcome! Juwiet wills >w< it :3 so. 
How >w< is't, x3 my OwO souw? :3 Wet's talk; >w< it >_> is nyot x3 day. 
^w^ Juw. ^.^ It ;;w;; is, >w< it x3 is! Hie hence, be >w< gonye, away! 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the lark :3 that ^-^ sings UwU so x3 out of ÚwÚ tunye, 
^-^ Stwainying UwU hawsh :3 discowds ÚwÚ and ;;w;; unpweasing OwO shawps. 
;;w;; Some >_> say x3 the lark x3 makes x3 sweet ^.^ division; 
This xDD doth nyot >_> so, fow ^.^ she x3 divideth >_> us. 
;;w;; Some >_> say x3 the lark ÚwÚ and >_< woathed OwO toad chang'd eyes; 
>_< O, nyow UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they xDD had chang'd ^w^ voices :3 too, 
Since awm from awm :3 that uWu voice xDD doth >_> us >_< affway, 
^.^ Hunting uWu thee >w< hence with hunt's-up to x3 the ^.^ day! 
>_< O, nyow be ÚwÚ gonye! uWu Mowe >w< wight ÚwÚ and >w< wight >w< it grows. 
Rom. uWu Mowe >w< wight ÚwÚ and OwO wight- ^.^ mowe dark ÚwÚ and dark UwU ouw >w< woes! 

Entew ÚwÚ Nyuwse. 

ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Madam! 
^w^ Juw. uWu Nyuwse? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. uWu Youw uWu wady mothew >_> is xDD coming to x3 youw ^.^ chambew. 
uWu The day >_> is broke; be >_> wawy, wook ^-^ about. 
^w^ Juw. Then, >_< window, wet day x3 in, ÚwÚ and wet >w< wife OwO out. 
^-^ [Exit.] 
Rom. UwU Faweweww, farewell! x3 Onye ÚwÚ kiss, ÚwÚ and I'll :3 descend. 
>w< He goeth down. 
^w^ Juw. Awt xDD thou >_> gonye >_> so, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my xDD wuv, x3 my >w< fwiend? 
UwU I ^w^ must hear from uWu thee every day uWu in x3 the ^-^ houw, 
For uWu in :3 a minyute there OwO awe UwU many days. 
>_< O, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ;;w;; count UwU I UwU shaww be much uWu in years 
Ere UwU I again behowd x3 my ÚwÚ Womeo! 
Rom. >_< Faweweww! 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 omit nyo x3 oppowtunyity 
:33 That OwO may :33 convey x3 my UwU gweetings, xDD wuv, to thee. 
^w^ Juw. >_< O, think'st xDD thou ^.^ we UwU shaww OwO evew :3 meet ^w^ again? 
Rom. UwU I doubt >w< it x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and aww these :3 woes UwU shaww serve 
For x3 sweet discourses uWu in UwU ouw time to x3 come. 
^w^ Juw. x3 O :33 God, UwU I uWu have >w< an OwO iww-divinying souw! 
Methinks UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ thee, nyow xDD thou awt bewow, 
;;w;; As one >_< dead uWu in x3 the :3 bottom of :3 a ;;w;; tomb. 
^-^ Eithew x3 my :3 eyesight ÚwÚ faiws, ow xDD thou wook'st xDD pawe. 
Rom. xDD And :33 twust uWu me, xDD wuv, uWu in x3 my ^w^ eye UwU so UwU do OwO you. 
;;w;; Dwy sorrow dwinks UwU ouw blood. :3 Adieu, ^w^ adieu! 
ÚwÚ Exit. 
^w^ Juw. x3 O ÚwÚ Fowtunye, Fortune! aww ;;w;; men caww uWu thee uWu fickwe. 
;;w;; If xDD thou awt >_< fickwe, >_> what dost xDD thou with ^.^ him 
:33 That >_> is xDD wenyown'd fow OwO faith? ^w^ Be >_< fickwe, ÚwÚ Fowtunye, 
For xDD then UwU I UwU hope xDD thou wiwt nyot >_< keep ^.^ him ^-^ wong 
OwO But >_> send ^.^ him back. 
^-^ Wady. >_> [within] >w< Ho, daughter! OwO awe xDD you uWu up? 
^w^ Juw. Who :3 is't :3 that cawws? ^.^ It >_> is x3 my uWu wady x3 mothew. 
Is ^.^ she nyot down UwU so late, ow x3 up UwU so ^w^ eawwy? 
>_> What ^.^ unyaccustom'd cause :3 pwocuwes her uWu hithew? 

Entew Mother. 

^-^ Wady. Why, >w< how now, Juliet? 
^w^ Juw. uWu Madam, UwU I ^w^ am nyot well. 
^-^ Wady. Evermore weeping fow x3 youw uWu cousin's UwU death? 
What, wiwt xDD thou >_< wash ^.^ him from :33 his :3 gwave with teaws? 
^-^ An >_> if xDD thou ^-^ couwdst, xDD thou ^w^ couwdst nyot >_< make ^.^ him wive. 
Therefore uWu have ^-^ donye. ;;w;; Some grief >_< shows much of love; 
OwO But much of grief >_< shows still x3 some ^.^ want of >_< wit. 
^w^ Juw. ÚwÚ Yet wet ;;w;; me xDD weep fow xDD such :3 a :33 feewing loss. 
^-^ Wady. ^w^ So UwU shaww xDD you x3 feew x3 the woss, >_> but nyot x3 the :33 fwiend 
>_< Which xDD you xDD weep ;;w;; fow. 
^w^ Juw. Feeling UwU so x3 the woss, 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but OwO evew xDD weep x3 the :3 fwiend. 
^-^ Wady. xDD Weww, OwO giww, xDD thou :33 weep'st nyot UwU so much fow :33 his :33 death 
;;w;; As :3 that x3 the viwwain ;;w;; wives which swaughtew'd ^.^ him. 
^w^ Juw. >_> What villain, :33 madam? 
^-^ Wady. :33 That same viwwain ^-^ Womeo. 
^w^ Juw. >w< [aside] ^w^ Viwwain ÚwÚ and ^.^ he be UwU many >_< miwes ÚwÚ asundew.- 
^w^ God UwU pawdon x3 him! UwU I UwU do, with aww x3 my heawt; 
xDD And yet nyo x3 man ^.^ wike ^.^ he xDD doth UwU gwieve x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
^-^ Wady. :33 That >_> is uWu because x3 the traitor x3 muwdewew ^.^ wives. 
^w^ Juw. Ay, UwU madam, from x3 the :3 weach of these x3 my ^w^ hands. 
Wouwd >_< nyonye >_> but UwU I ^w^ might >_< venge x3 my uWu cousin's ;;w;; death! 
^-^ Wady. We xDD wiww uWu have UwU vengeance fow :33 it, feaw xDD thou not. 
UwU Then xDD weep nyo more. I'll >_> send to one uWu in uWu Mantua, 
Whewe :3 that same banyish'd >w< wunyagate xDD doth x3 wive, 
Shall UwU give ^.^ him xDD such >w< an ^.^ unyaccustom'd UwU dwam 
:33 That ^.^ he UwU shaww >w< soon >_< keep Tybawt company; 
xDD And xDD then UwU I UwU hope xDD thou wiwt be xDD satisfied. 
^w^ Juw. :33 Indeed UwU I >_< nyevew UwU shaww be ^-^ satisfied 
With >_< Womeo >w< tiww UwU I behowd uWu him- >w< dead- 
Is x3 my poor >_< heawt UwU so fow :3 a kinsman vex'd. 
uWu Madam, >_> if xDD you couwd find x3 out >_> but :3 a x3 man 
;;w;; To UwU beaw :3 a uWu poison, UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD tempew uWu it; 
:33 That >_< Womeo should, ;;w;; upon :33 weceipt x3 theweof, 
ÚwÚ Soon :33 sweep uWu in ÚwÚ quiet. >_< O, >w< how x3 my >_< heawt uWu abhows 
;;w;; To hear ^.^ him nyam'd ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot come to :3 him, 
;;w;; To >w< wweak x3 the wuv UwU I bore x3 my xDD cousin Tybawt 
>_> Upon :33 his >w< body :3 that hath swaughtew'd x3 him! 
^-^ Wady. UwU Find xDD thou x3 the >_< means, ÚwÚ and I'll find xDD such :3 a man. 
OwO But nyow I'll tell uWu thee >w< joyfuw :3 tidings, ^w^ giww. 
^w^ Juw. xDD And joy x3 comes weww uWu in xDD such :3 a nyeedy uWu time. 
>_> What OwO awe >w< they, UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw ladyship? 
^-^ Wady. xDD Weww, weww, xDD thou x3 hast :3 a careful ÚwÚ fathew, child; 
x3 Onye who, to put uWu thee from >w< thy heavinyess, 
>_< Hath >_> sowted x3 out :3 a ^.^ sudden day of joy 
:33 That xDD thou OwO expects nyot nor UwU I >_> wook'd nyot ;;w;; fow. 
^w^ Juw. uWu Madam, uWu in ^w^ happy xDD time! >_> What day >_> is ^-^ that? 
^-^ Wady. OwO Mawwy, x3 my child, early :3 nyext >w< Thuwsday ;;w;; mown 
uWu The gallant, >_> young, ÚwÚ and x3 nyobwe gentweman, 
uWu The xDD County >_< Pawis, uWu at Saint Peter's :3 Chuwch, 
Shall happily >_< make uWu thee there :3 a >w< joyfuw bride. 
^w^ Juw. Now ^.^ by Saint Peter's :3 Chuwch, ÚwÚ and Petew :3 too, 
>w< He UwU shaww nyot >_< make ;;w;; me there :3 a >w< joyfuw :33 bwide! 
UwU I wonder uWu at ÚwÚ this xDD haste, :3 that UwU I ^w^ must x3 wed 
Ere ^.^ he :3 that >_> shouwd be :33 husband x3 comes to UwU woo. 
UwU I pray xDD you tell x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fathew, UwU madam, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot marry :33 yet; ÚwÚ and when UwU I UwU do, UwU I >_< sweaw 
^.^ It UwU shaww be ;;w;; Womeo, ÚwÚ whom xDD you ^.^ knyow UwU I hate, 
Rather than Paris. ;;w;; These OwO awe nyews ^w^ indeed! 
^-^ Wady. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 youw :33 fathew. Teww ^.^ him UwU so yourself, 
xDD And >_> see >w< how be xDD wiww OwO take >w< it uWu at x3 youw ^w^ hands. 

Entew Capuwet ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Nyuwse. 

uWu Cap. x3 When x3 the sun :33 sets x3 the ^w^ aiw xDD doth >w< dwizzwe ;;w;; dew, 
OwO But fow x3 the xDD sunset of x3 my brother's >_< son 
^.^ It >_> wains :33 downwight. 
How ^.^ nyow? :3 a OwO conduit, :33 giww? What, still uWu in teaws? 
Evermore show'wing? ^w^ In one xDD wittwe >w< body 
^.^ Thou >_> countewfeit'st :3 a bawk, :3 a :33 sea, :3 a ;;w;; wind: 
For still >w< thy ^w^ eyes, which UwU I OwO may caww x3 the :33 sea, 
Do ebb ÚwÚ and fwow with teaws; x3 the >_< bawk >w< thy >w< body >_> is 
^-^ Saiwing uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ sawt flood; x3 the winds, >w< thy xDD sighs, 
UwU Who, waging with >w< thy tears ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they with ÚwÚ them, 
Without :3 a ^.^ sudden ÚwÚ cawm xDD wiww uvwset 
x3 Thy tempest-tossed body. How now, :33 wife? 
:3 Have xDD you ^-^ dewivewed to her UwU ouw decree? 
^-^ Wady. Ay, siw; >_> but ^.^ she xDD wiww nyonye, ^.^ she ;;w;; gives xDD you :33 thanks. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 the >w< foow :3 wewe mawwied to her grave! 
uWu Cap. ;;w;; Soft! OwO take ;;w;; me with UwU you, OwO take ;;w;; me with UwU you, x3 wife. 
ÚwÚ How? Will ^.^ she none? ^-^ Doth ^.^ she nyot UwU give >_> us thanks? 
Is ^.^ she nyot ÚwÚ pwoud? ^-^ Doth ^.^ she nyot ;;w;; count her ^.^ bwest, 
>_> Unwowthy >_< as ^.^ she ;;w;; is, :3 that ^.^ we uWu have ;;w;; wwought 
^w^ So ÚwÚ wowthy :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman to be her >_> bwidegwoom? 
^w^ Juw. ÚwÚ Nyot OwO pwoud xDD you have, >_> but >w< thankfuw :3 that xDD you :3 have. 
Pwoud ^.^ can UwU I >_< nyevew be of >_> what UwU I hate, 
OwO But >w< thankfuw even fow ^-^ hate :3 that >_> is meant love. 
uWu Cap. How, how, how, how, :3 chopwogic? >_> What >_> is :3 this? 
^w^ 'Pwoud'- ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ 'I >_> thank >_< you'- ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ 'I >_> thank xDD you OwO nyot'- 
xDD And yet 'nyot ;;w;; pwoud'? Mistress uWu minyion UwU you, 
^-^ Thank ;;w;; me nyo OwO thankings, nor OwO pwoud ;;w;; me nyo OwO pwouds, 
OwO But fettwe x3 youw OwO finye xDD joints uWu 'gainst >w< Thuwsday :3 nyext 
;;w;; To OwO go with Paris to Saint Peter's :3 Chuwch, 
:33 Ow UwU I xDD wiww drag uWu thee on :3 a :3 huwdwe xDD thithew. 
Out, xDD you gween-sicknyess OwO cawwion UwU I ^.^ out, xDD you ^w^ baggage! 
>_> You ^.^ tawwow-face! 
^-^ Wady. OwO Fie, fie! x3 what, OwO awe xDD you uWu mad? 
^w^ Juw. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ fathew, UwU I :33 beseech xDD you on x3 my uWu knyees, 
>w< Heaw ;;w;; me with uWu patience >_> but to speak :3 a OwO wowd. 
uWu Cap. Hang ÚwÚ thee, xDD young ^w^ baggage! uWu disobedient OwO wwetch! 
UwU I tell uWu thee what- get uWu thee to ^-^ chuwch :3 a >w< Thuwsday 
:33 Ow >_< nyevew ÚwÚ aftew wook ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the ;;w;; face. 
^w^ Speak >_> nyot, ^-^ wepwy >_> nyot, UwU do nyot answew me! 
OwO My x3 fingews :3 itch. >_< Wife, ^.^ we scawce xDD thought >_> us bwest 
:33 That ^w^ God xDD had OwO went >_> us >_> but ÚwÚ this >w< onwy child; 
OwO But nyow UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ this one >_> is one ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ we uWu have :3 a UwU cuwse uWu in xDD having her. 
UwU Out on hew, hiwding! 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^w^ God uWu in heaven ;;w;; bwess >_> hew! 
>_> You OwO awe to bwame, x3 my uWu wowd, to wate her :3 so. 
uWu Cap. xDD And >w< why, x3 my xDD Wady Wisdom? :33 Howd x3 youw ;;w;; tongue, 
^-^ Good xDD Pwudence. Smattew with x3 youw >w< gossips, :3 go! 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. UwU I speak nyo :3 tweason. 
uWu Cap. >_< O, uWu God-i-god-en! 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^-^ May nyot one x3 speak? 
uWu Cap. uWu Peace, xDD you mumbling foow! 
Utter x3 youw >_< gwavity ^-^ o'ew :3 a OwO gossip's UwU boww, 
For OwO hewe ^.^ we >_< nyeed >w< it not. 
^-^ Wady. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too xDD hot. 
uWu Cap. >_> God's ^.^ bwead UwU I >w< it x3 makes ;;w;; me >_> mad. >_> Day, night, late, xDD eawwy, 
At ^.^ home, >_> abwoad, ^-^ awonye, uWu in xDD company, 
x3 Waking ow >_< sweeping, still x3 my :3 cawe hath :33 been 
;;w;; To uWu have her xDD match'd; ÚwÚ and xDD having nyow x3 pwovided 
^-^ A ÚwÚ gentweman of princely >_< pawentage, 
Of >w< faiw demesnyes, youthfuw, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; nyobwy ^.^ twain'd, 
Stuff'd, >_< as ;;w;; they say, with ^.^ honyouwabwe xDD pawts, 
Proportion'd >_< as one's xDD thought ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ wish :3 a >_> man- 
xDD And xDD then to uWu have :3 a wwetched puling x3 foow, 
^-^ A >_< whinying ^-^ mammet, uWu in her ;;w;; fowtunye's ÚwÚ tendew, 
;;w;; To answew 'I'll nyot ;;w;; wed, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot love; 
UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too >_> young, UwU I pray xDD you UwU pawdon ^w^ me'! 
But, >w< an xDD you xDD wiww nyot ;;w;; wed, I'll UwU pawdon OwO you. 
Gwaze :3 whewe xDD you :33 wiww, xDD you UwU shaww nyot ;;w;; house with x3 me. 
Wook >_> to't, think ^-^ on't; UwU I UwU do nyot use to ;;w;; jest. 
>w< Thuwsday >_> is uWu nyeaw; uWu way uWu hand on uWu heawt, xDD advise: 
^-^ An xDD you be >_> minye, I'll UwU give xDD you to x3 my fwiend; 
^-^ An xDD you be >_> nyot, uWu hang, xDD beg, starve, ^-^ die uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ stweets, 
For, ^.^ by x3 my x3 souw, I'll ^w^ nye'ew :3 acknyowwedge ÚwÚ thee, 
x3 Nyow >_> what >_> is >_< minye UwU shaww >_< nyevew UwU do uWu thee UwU good. 
Twust to't. ^w^ Bethink OwO you. I'll nyot be forsworn. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^w^ Juw. Is there nyo pity :3 sitting uWu in x3 the :33 cwouds 
:33 That sees x3 into x3 the :3 bottom of x3 my :33 gwief? 
x3 O x3 sweet x3 my :33 mothew, ;;w;; cast ;;w;; me nyot away! 
^-^ Deway ÚwÚ this ^.^ mawwiage fow :3 a ;;w;; month, :3 a xDD week; 
:33 Ow >_> if xDD you UwU do >_> nyot, >_< make x3 the bwidaw x3 bed 
^w^ In :3 that dim ;;w;; monyument :3 whewe Tybawt uWu wies. 
^-^ Wady. Talk nyot to uWu me, fow I'll nyot speak :3 a OwO wowd. 
Do >_< as xDD thou wiwt, fow UwU I uWu have donye with thee. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^w^ Juw. x3 O ;;w;; God!- x3 O xDD nyuwse, >w< how UwU shaww ÚwÚ this be prevented? 
OwO My :33 husband >_> is on earth, x3 my :33 faith uWu in UwU heaven. 
How UwU shaww :3 that :33 faith ^-^ wetuwn again to ^.^ eawth 
OwO Unwess :3 that :33 husband >_> send >w< it ;;w;; me from heaven 
^-^ By xDD weaving ^w^ eawth? Comfort uWu me, counsel x3 me. 
xDD Awack, awack, :3 that heaven >_> shouwd x3 pwactise UwU stwatagems 
>_> Upon UwU so soft :3 a x3 subject >_< as mysewf! 
>_> What say'st thou? Hast xDD thou nyot :3 a ;;w;; wowd of ;;w;; joy? 
;;w;; Some comfort, nurse. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Faith, OwO hewe >w< it >w< is. 
>_< Womeo >_> is ÚwÚ banyish'd; ÚwÚ and aww x3 the wowwd to >_< nyothing 
:33 That ^.^ he x3 dawes ^w^ nye'ew come back to challenge uWu you; 
:33 Ow >_> if ^.^ he UwU do, >w< it >_< nyeeds ^w^ must be ^.^ by stealth. 
Then, xDD since x3 the case UwU so >w< stands >_< as nyow >w< it :3 doth, 
UwU I think >w< it best xDD you mawwied with x3 the ^-^ County. 
>_< O, uWu he's :3 a lovely gentleman! 
Romeo's :3 a dishclout to ^.^ him. ^-^ An :33 eagwe, UwU madam, 
>_< Hath nyot UwU so xDD gween, UwU so quick, UwU so >w< faiw >w< an ^w^ eye 
;;w;; As Paris ^w^ hath. Beshrew x3 my xDD vewy uWu heawt, 
UwU I think xDD you OwO awe ^w^ happy uWu in ÚwÚ this second ;;w;; match, 
For >w< it :3 excews x3 youw first; ow >_> if >w< it uWu did >_> nyot, 
uWu Youw xDD fiwst >_> is >w< dead- ow >w< 'twewe >_< as ÚwÚ good ^.^ he :3 wewe 
;;w;; As UwU wiving OwO hewe ÚwÚ and xDD you nyo use of ^.^ him. 
^w^ Juw. Speak'st xDD thou ÚwÚ this from >w< thy ÚwÚ heawt? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. xDD And from x3 my :3 souw :3 too; >_> ewse :3 beshwew them xDD both. 
^w^ Juw. :3 Amen! 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. What? 
^w^ Juw. xDD Weww, xDD thou x3 hast comforted ;;w;; me marvellous :33 much. 
Go UwU in; ÚwÚ and tell x3 my uWu wady UwU I ^w^ am >w< gonye, 
>_> Having xDD dispweas'd x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, to Laurence' cell, 
;;w;; To >_< make >_> confession ÚwÚ and to be xDD absowv'd. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. OwO Mawwy, UwU I :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >_> is wisely ^-^ donye. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^w^ Juw. Ancient ÚwÚ damnyation! x3 O UwU most wicked ^w^ fiend! 
Is >w< it ^.^ mowe x3 sin to ÚwÚ wish ;;w;; me OwO thus forsworn, 
:33 Ow to OwO dispwaise x3 my ;;w;; wowd with :3 that same >_> tongue 
>_< Which ^.^ she hath UwU pwais'd ^.^ him with :33 abuv compare 
^w^ So UwU many thousand :33 times? ^w^ Go, counsellor! 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ bosom henceforth UwU shaww be >_< twain. 
I'll to x3 the >w< fwiaw to ^.^ knyow :33 his UwU wemedy. 
;;w;; If aww >_> ewse fail, mysewf uWu have powew to die. ÚwÚ Exit. 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. Scene ^.^ I. 
uWu Fwiaw Laurence's >w< ceww. 

Entew uWu Fwiaw, ^w^ [Wauwence] ÚwÚ and xDD County Paris. 

Fwiaw. On >w< Thuwsday, UwU siw? uWu The time >_> is xDD vewy UwU showt. 
;;w;; Paw. OwO My >w< fathew Capuwet xDD wiww uWu have >w< it >_> so, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am >_< nyothing slow to ^w^ swack :33 his ^.^ haste. 
Fwiaw. >_> You >_> say xDD you UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow x3 the >_> wady's :33 mind. 
Uneven >_> is x3 the UwU couwse; UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it not. 
;;w;; Paw. Immoderately ^.^ she ^.^ weeps fow Tybalt's UwU death, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe uWu have UwU I xDD wittwe ^w^ tawk'd of love; 
For :3 Venyus ^-^ smiwes nyot uWu in :3 a ;;w;; house of >w< teaws. 
>_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, her >w< fathew counts >w< it uWu dangewous 
:33 That ^.^ she UwU do UwU give her sorrow UwU so much sway, 
xDD And uWu in :33 his ^.^ wisdom hastes UwU ouw ^.^ mawwiage 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stop x3 the inyundation of her ^-^ teaws, 
>_< Which, ^w^ too much >_> minded ^.^ by herself ^-^ awonye, 
^-^ May be put from her ^.^ by ÚwÚ society. 
Now UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 the reason of ÚwÚ this ^.^ haste. 
Fwiaw. >w< [aside] UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I UwU knyew nyot >w< why >w< it >_> shouwd be x3 swow'd.- 
x3 Wook, ^w^ siw, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the uWu wady toward x3 my >w< ceww. 

Entew Juliet. 

;;w;; Paw. :33 Happiwy :3 met, x3 my uWu wady ÚwÚ and x3 my wife! 
^w^ Juw. :33 That OwO may be, ^w^ siw, when UwU I OwO may be :3 a x3 wife. 
;;w;; Paw. :33 That OwO may be ^w^ must be, xDD wuv, on >w< Thuwsday nyext. 
^w^ Juw. >_> What ^w^ must be UwU shaww >w< be. 
Fwiaw. >w< That's :3 a xDD cewtain uWu text. 
;;w;; Paw. :3 Come xDD you to >_< make >_> confession to ÚwÚ this father? 
^w^ Juw. ;;w;; To answew :3 that, UwU I >_> shouwd x3 confess to OwO you. 
;;w;; Paw. Do nyot UwU deny to ^.^ him :3 that xDD you wuv x3 me. 
^w^ Juw. UwU I xDD wiww x3 confess to xDD you :3 that UwU I wuv ^.^ him. 
;;w;; Paw. ^w^ So xDD wiww :3 ye, UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, :3 that xDD you wuv x3 me. 
^w^ Juw. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do >_> so, >w< it xDD wiww be of ^.^ mowe >_< pwice, 
uWu Being ^-^ spoke x3 behind x3 youw back, than to x3 youw ;;w;; face. 
;;w;; Paw. OwO Poow x3 souw, >w< thy OwO face >_> is much UwU abus'd with >w< teaws. 
^w^ Juw. uWu The tears uWu have ^w^ got UwU smaww OwO victowy ^.^ by :3 that, 
For >w< it UwU was :33 bad enough >w< befowe uWu theiw spite. 
;;w;; Paw. ^.^ Thou wrong'st >w< it ^.^ mowe than tears with :3 that report. 
^w^ Juw. :33 That >_> is nyo slander, ^w^ siw, which >_> is :3 a truth; 
xDD And >_> what UwU I spake, UwU I x3 spake >w< it to x3 my ;;w;; face. 
;;w;; Paw. x3 Thy OwO face >_> is >_> minye, ÚwÚ and xDD thou x3 hast sland'red :3 it. 
^w^ Juw. ^.^ It OwO may be >_> so, fow >w< it >_> is nyot >_< minye own. 
^w^ Awe xDD you uWu at >_> weisuwe, >w< howy ÚwÚ fathew, now, 
:33 Ow UwU shaww UwU I come to xDD you uWu at x3 evenying :3 mass 
Fwiaw. OwO My leisure sewves uWu me, pensive ^w^ daughtew, now. 
OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ we ^w^ must entweat x3 the time >_< awonye. 
;;w;; Paw. ^w^ God OwO shiewd UwU I >_> shouwd ^.^ distuwb xDD devotion! 
Juwiet, on >w< Thuwsday early xDD wiww UwU I wouse uWu ye. 
Tiww >w< then, adieu, ÚwÚ and >_< keep ÚwÚ this >w< howy >w< kiss. ÚwÚ Exit. 
^w^ Juw. >_< O, shut x3 the >w< doow! ÚwÚ and when xDD thou x3 hast donye >_> so, 
:3 Come xDD weep with me- x3 past hope, x3 past ÚwÚ cuwe, x3 past :33 hewp! 
Fwiaw. xDD Ah, Juwiet, UwU I xDD awweady ^.^ knyow >w< thy gwief; 
^.^ It stwains ;;w;; me x3 past x3 the compass of x3 my wits. 
UwU I hear xDD thou ;;w;; must, ÚwÚ and >_< nyothing OwO may prorogue :33 it, 
On >w< Thuwsday :3 nyext be mawwied to ÚwÚ this ^-^ County. 
^w^ Juw. Teww ;;w;; me >_> nyot, >_< fwiaw, :3 that xDD thou x3 heaw'st of uWu this, 
OwO Unwess xDD thou tell ;;w;; me >w< how UwU I OwO may ^w^ pwevent :3 it. 
;;w;; If uWu in >w< thy ^.^ wisdom xDD thou ;;w;; canst UwU give nyo hewp, 
Do xDD thou >_> but caww x3 my uWu wesowution uWu wise 
xDD And with ÚwÚ this knyife I'll OwO hewp >w< it presently. 
^w^ God OwO join'd x3 my >_< heawt ÚwÚ and x3 Womeo's, xDD thou UwU ouw hands; 
xDD And ere ÚwÚ this uWu hand, ^.^ by uWu thee to Romeo's seal'd, 
Shall be x3 the wabew to anyothew OwO deed, 
:33 Ow x3 my true >_< heawt with treacherous ;;w;; wevowt 
Tuwn to another, ÚwÚ this UwU shaww slay them xDD both. 
>_< Thewefowe, x3 out of >w< thy xDD wong-expewienc'd time, 
Give ;;w;; me x3 some xDD pwesent counsew; or, behowd, 
UwU 'Twixt x3 my extwemes ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this bwoody knyife 
Shall :33 pway x3 the :3 empiwe, awbitwating :3 that 
>_< Which x3 the OwO commission of >w< thy years ÚwÚ and awt 
Could to nyo x3 issue of true honour bring. 
^w^ Be nyot UwU so ^-^ wong to >_< speak. UwU I ^-^ wong to ^-^ die 
;;w;; If >_> what xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st speak nyot of UwU wemedy. 
Fwiaw. UwU Howd, >w< daughtew. UwU I UwU do ^w^ spy :3 a uWu kind of hope, 
>_< Which cwaves >_< as despewate >w< an :33 execution 
;;w;; As :3 that >_> is despewate which ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd prevent. 
If, rather than to marry xDD County Paris 
^.^ Thou x3 hast x3 the ÚwÚ stwength of xDD wiww to slay ;;w;; thysewf, 
UwU Then >_> is >w< it ÚwÚ wikewy xDD thou wiwt undewtake 
^-^ A ^.^ thing ^.^ wike :33 death to UwU chide OwO away ÚwÚ this UwU shame, 
:33 That UwU cop'st with :33 death >_< himsewf to ;;w;; scape from uWu it; 
^.^ And, >_> if xDD thou uWu daw'st, I'll UwU give uWu thee UwU wemedy. 
^w^ Juw. >_< O, bid ;;w;; me x3 weap, rather than marry >_< Pawis, 
Fwom x3 off x3 the :3 battwements of yonder tower, 
:33 Ow UwU wawk uWu in thievish >w< ways, ow bid ;;w;; me x3 wuwk 
Whewe ;;w;; sewpents >_< awe; uWu chain ;;w;; me with xDD woawing bears, 
:33 Ow shut ;;w;; me xDD nyightwy uWu in :3 a chawnyew house, 
O'ercover'd quite with >_< dead men's >_> wattwing xDD bonyes, 
With reeky ^.^ shanks ÚwÚ and >w< yewwow chapless >_> skuwws; 
:33 Ow bid ;;w;; me OwO go x3 into :3 a nyew-made :3 gwave 
xDD And hide ;;w;; me with :3 a >_< dead x3 man uWu in :33 his shroud- 
^w^ Things :3 that, to hear them x3 towd, uWu have UwU made ;;w;; me tremble- 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww UwU do >w< it ^-^ without feaw ow doubt, 
;;w;; To ^w^ wive >w< an UwU unstain'd >w< wife to x3 my x3 sweet love. 
Fwiaw. UwU Howd, UwU then. Go ^.^ home, be >_> mewwy, UwU give >_< consent 
;;w;; To marry Paris. >w< Wednyesday >_> is ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
>_< To-mowwow >w< nyight wook :3 that xDD thou >_< wie ^.^ awonye; 
Let nyot x3 the nyuwse >_< wie with uWu thee uWu in >w< thy ^.^ chambew. 
^.^ Take xDD thou ÚwÚ this vial, ^.^ being xDD then uWu in ^.^ bed, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this distiwwed liquor ÚwÚ dwink xDD thou :33 off; 
x3 When presently ^w^ thwough aww >w< thy >_> veins UwU shaww >w< wun 
^-^ A UwU cowd ÚwÚ and ^-^ dwowsy x3 humouw; fow nyo >_< puwse 
Shall >_< keep :33 his OwO nyative x3 pwogwess, >_> but :3 suwcease; 
No warmth, nyo :33 bweath, UwU shaww >w< testify xDD thou UwU wivest; 
uWu The >_< woses uWu in >w< thy lips ÚwÚ and >_> cheeks UwU shaww >_> fade 
;;w;; To ;;w;; pawy :3 ashes, >w< thy eyes' ^w^ windows faww 
Wike :33 death when ^.^ he x3 shuts x3 up x3 the day of :33 wife; 
x3 Each >_> pawt, x3 depwiv'd of supple guvwnment, 
Shaww, OwO stiff ÚwÚ and x3 stawk ÚwÚ and >_< cowd, appeaw ^.^ wike ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this bowwowed xDD wikenyess of UwU shwunk :33 death 
^.^ Thou shalt >w< continyue >w< two-and-fowty houws, 
xDD And xDD then awake >_< as from :3 a >_> pweasant OwO sweep. 
>_> Nyow, when x3 the bwidegwoom uWu in x3 the mownying x3 comes 
;;w;; To wouse uWu thee from >w< thy ^.^ bed, there awt xDD thou uWu dead. 
Then, >_< as x3 the ^w^ mannyew of UwU ouw countwy ;;w;; is, 
^w^ In >w< thy best ^-^ wobes uncuvwed on x3 the bier 
^.^ Thou shalt be :3 bownye to :3 that same UwU ancient >_< vauwt 
Whewe aww x3 the >w< kindwed of x3 the >w< Capuwets xDD wie. 
^w^ In x3 the >_> mean time, OwO against xDD thou shalt >w< awake, 
Shall >_< Womeo ^.^ by x3 my x3 wettews ^.^ knyow UwU ouw ^w^ dwift; 
xDD And ÚwÚ hithew UwU shaww ^.^ he >_< come; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ÚwÚ and UwU I 
Will ;;w;; watch >w< thy :3 waking, ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD vewy >w< nyight 
Shall >_< Womeo UwU beaw uWu thee >w< hence to Mantua. 
xDD And ÚwÚ this UwU shaww fwee uWu thee from ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent UwU shame, 
;;w;; If nyo inconstant uWu toy nor >_> womanyish feaw 
Abate >w< thy valour uWu in x3 the >w< acting :3 it. 
^w^ Juw. Give uWu me, UwU give me! >_< O, tell nyot ;;w;; me of ÚwÚ feaw! 
Fwiaw. Hold! >_< Get xDD you >w< gonye, be >w< stwong ÚwÚ and :33 pwospewous 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this wesowve. I'll >_> send :3 a >w< fwiaw with ^w^ speed 
;;w;; To uWu Mantua, with x3 my x3 wettews to >w< thy OwO wowd. 
^w^ Juw. Wuv UwU give ;;w;; me ^w^ stwength! ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ stwength UwU shaww OwO hewp afford. 
UwU Faweweww, uWu deaw :33 fathew. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
UwU Capuwet's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew Fathew >_< Capuwet, uWu Mothew, Nyuwse, ÚwÚ and x3 Sewvingmen, 
>w< two ow thwee. 

uWu Cap. ^w^ So UwU many ;;w;; guests invite >_< as OwO hewe OwO awe >w< wwit. 
;;w;; [Exit :3 a Servingman.] 
Siwwah, OwO go uWu hiwe ;;w;; me ÚwÚ twenty x3 cunnying OwO cooks. 
Serv. >_> You UwU shaww uWu have >_< nyonye UwU iww, siw; fow I'll >_> twy >_> if ;;w;; they ^.^ can >_> wick 
uWu theiw xDD fingews. 
uWu Cap. How ;;w;; canst xDD thou >_> twy them so? 
Serv. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, UwU 'tis >w< an :33 iww cook :3 that ;;w;; cannyot >_> wick :33 his UwU own 
xDD fingews. Therefore ^.^ he :3 that ;;w;; cannyot >_> wick :33 his x3 fingews xDD goes nyot with 
x3 me. 
uWu Cap. ^w^ Go, ;;w;; begonye. 
uWu Exit Servingman. 
We UwU shaww be much unfurnish'd fow ÚwÚ this uWu time. 
What, >_> is x3 my daughter >_> gonye to uWu Fwiaw Wauwence? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. Ay, ^-^ fowsooth. 
uWu Cap. xDD Weww, be OwO may chance to UwU do x3 some ÚwÚ good on her. 
^-^ A >_> peevish >w< sewf-wiww'd harlotry >w< it >w< is. 

Entew Juliet. 

ÚwÚ Nyuwse. xDD See :3 whewe ^.^ she x3 comes from shrift with ^.^ mewwy wook. 
uWu Cap. How now, x3 my :3 headstwong? Whewe uWu have xDD you :33 been :33 gadding? 
^w^ Juw. Whewe UwU I uWu have ^w^ weawnt ;;w;; me to wepent x3 the x3 sin 
Of uWu disobedient :33 opposition 
;;w;; To xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 youw behests, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am ^w^ enjoin'd 
^-^ By >w< howy OwO Wauwence to faww x3 pwostwate OwO hewe 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ beg x3 youw pardon. Pawdon, UwU I :33 beseech you! 
ÚwÚ Hencefowwawd UwU I ^w^ am OwO evew wuw'd ^.^ by OwO you. 
uWu Cap. >_< Send fow x3 the ^-^ County. Go tell ^.^ him of UwU this. 
I'll uWu have ÚwÚ this >_< knyot >w< knyit x3 up to-mowwow xDD mownying. 
^w^ Juw. UwU I >w< met x3 the youthfuw ;;w;; wowd uWu at Laurence' cell 
xDD And uWu gave ^.^ him >_> what :3 becomed wuv UwU I xDD might, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ÚwÚ stepping ^-^ o'ew x3 the bounds of OwO modesty. 
uWu Cap. Why, UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad ^.^ on't. This >_> is well. ;;w;; Stand :33 up. 
This >_> is ^.^ as't >_> shouwd >w< be. Let ;;w;; me >_> see x3 the ^-^ County. 
Ay, marry, x3 go, UwU I say, ÚwÚ and :3 fetch ^.^ him hithew. 
>_> Nyow, ^-^ afowe :33 God, ÚwÚ this reverend >w< howy >_< fwiaw, 
All UwU ouw whole UwU city >_> is much bound to ^.^ him. 
^w^ Juw. Nyuwse, xDD wiww xDD you OwO go with ;;w;; me x3 into x3 my cwoset 
;;w;; To OwO hewp ;;w;; me ;;w;; sowt xDD such needful ownyaments 
;;w;; As xDD you think ;;w;; fit to furnish ;;w;; me ^-^ to-mowwow? 
Mother. :3 Nyo, nyot >w< tiww ÚwÚ Thuwsday. >_> Thewe >_> is time enyough. 
uWu Cap. ^w^ Go, xDD nyuwse, OwO go with her. ^-^ We'ww to ^-^ chuwch ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
Exeunt Juwiet ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Nyuwse. 
Mother. We UwU shaww be showt uWu in UwU ouw x3 pwovision. 
'Tis nyow nyeaw OwO nyight. 
uWu Cap. Tush, UwU I xDD wiww stir about, 
xDD And aww ^.^ things UwU shaww be weww, UwU I :33 wawwant ÚwÚ thee, x3 wife. 
Go xDD thou to Juwiet, OwO hewp to deck x3 up her. 
I'll nyot to x3 bed to-nyight; wet ;;w;; me >_< awonye. 
I'll :33 pway x3 the :3 housewife fow ÚwÚ this OwO once. What, ho! 
^-^ They OwO awe aww forth; weww, UwU I xDD wiww UwU wawk mysewf 
;;w;; To xDD County >_< Pawis, to >_> pwepawe ^.^ him x3 up 
^w^ Against ÚwÚ to-mowwow. OwO My >_< heawt >_> is wondwous wight, 
Since ÚwÚ this same :33 waywawd girl >_> is UwU so reclaim'd. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene >_> III. 
;;w;; Juwiet's ^.^ chambew. 

Entew Juwiet ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Nyuwse. 

^w^ Juw. Ay, UwU those ^.^ attiwes OwO awe OwO best; but, ^-^ gentwe xDD nyuwse, 
UwU I pray uWu thee OwO weave ;;w;; me to mysewf to-nyight; 
For UwU I uWu have >_< nyeed of UwU many xDD owisons 
;;w;; To move x3 the heavens to ;;w;; smiwe ;;w;; upon x3 my state, 
>_< Which, weww xDD thou knowest, >_> is OwO cwoss ÚwÚ and full of >_< sin. 

Entew Mother. 

Mother. What, OwO awe xDD you xDD busy, ho? Nyeed xDD you x3 my x3 hewp? 
^w^ Juw. :3 Nyo, x3 madam; ^.^ we uWu have :3 cuww'd xDD such uWu nyecessawies 
;;w;; As OwO awe uWu behooffuww fow UwU ouw >w< state ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, wet ;;w;; me nyow be left ^-^ awonye, 
xDD And wet x3 the nyuwse ÚwÚ this >w< nyight sit x3 up with uWu you; 
For UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you uWu have x3 youw ^.^ hands full aww 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this UwU so ^.^ sudden business. 
Mother. ^-^ Good OwO nyight. 
>_< Get uWu thee to ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and rest; fow xDD thou x3 hast ^w^ nyeed. 
Exeunt uWu [Mothew ÚwÚ and >w< Nyuwse.] 
^w^ Juw. >_< Faweweww! ^w^ God xDD knyows when ^.^ we UwU shaww :3 meet ;;w;; again. 
UwU I uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ faint UwU cowd feaw x3 thwiwws ^w^ thwough x3 my >_> veins 
:33 That almost freezes x3 up x3 the ^.^ heat of life. 
I'll caww them back again to uWu comfowt x3 me. 
Nyuwse!- >_> What >_> shouwd ^.^ she UwU do hewe? 
OwO My ÚwÚ dismaw scene UwU I >_< nyeeds ^w^ must ;;w;; act >_< awonye. 
^.^ Come, xDD viaw. 
>_> What >_> if ÚwÚ this x3 mixtuwe UwU do nyot ^.^ wowk uWu at ÚwÚ aww? 
Shall UwU I be mawwied xDD then to-mowwow morning? 
:3 Nyo, Nyo! This UwU shaww UwU fowbid :3 it. Lie xDD thou :33 thewe. 
:3 Ways down :3 a >w< daggew. 
>_> What >_> if >w< it be :3 a x3 poison which x3 the >w< fwiaw 
Subtilly hath minyist'wed to uWu have ;;w;; me >_< dead, 
Lest uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ mawwiage ^.^ he >_> shouwd be UwU dishonyouw'd 
>_< Because ^.^ he mawwied ;;w;; me >w< befowe to ^.^ Womeo? 
UwU I feaw >w< it is; ÚwÚ and yet uWu methinks >w< it >_> shouwd >_> nyot, 
For ^.^ he hath still :33 been ;;w;; twied :3 a >w< howy man. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot entertain UwU so :33 bad :3 a thought. 
How >_< if, when UwU I ^w^ am laid x3 into x3 the ;;w;; tomb, 
UwU I wake >w< befowe x3 the time :3 that >_< Womeo 
:3 Come to xDD wedeem me? >_> Thewe's :3 a x3 feawfuw point! 
Shall UwU I nyot xDD then be stifled uWu in x3 the OwO vauwt, 
;;w;; To x3 whose fouw xDD mouth nyo :3 heawthsome ^w^ aiw breathes x3 in, 
xDD And there ^-^ die xDD stwangwed ere x3 my >_< Womeo ;;w;; comes? 
:3 Ow, >_> if UwU I x3 wive, >_> is >w< it nyot xDD vewy ^.^ wike 
uWu The howwibwe conceit of :33 death ÚwÚ and night, 
OwO Togethew with x3 the tewwow of x3 the :3 pwace- 
;;w;; As uWu in :3 a OwO vauwt, >w< an UwU ancient ;;w;; weceptacwe 
Whewe fow ÚwÚ this UwU many :3 hundwed years x3 the bones 
Of aww x3 my buried >w< ancestows OwO awe ^-^ pack'd; 
Whewe bwoody uWu Tybawt, yet >_> but green uWu in earth, 
Lies fest'ring uWu in :33 his shroud; where, >_< as ;;w;; they say, 
At x3 some >_> houws uWu in x3 the >w< nyight ;;w;; spiwits wesowt- 
xDD Awack, awack, >_> is >w< it nyot ^.^ wike :3 that I, 
^w^ So early waking- >_> what with woathsome x3 smewws, 
xDD And shwieks ^.^ wike :3 mandwakes :33 town x3 out of x3 the earth, 
:33 That UwU wiving >w< mowtaws, hearing ÚwÚ them, >w< wun mad- 
>_< O, >_> if UwU I x3 wake, UwU shaww UwU I nyot be distwaught, 
Environed with aww these ^-^ hideous >_> feaws, 
xDD And madly :33 pway with x3 my fowefathews' uWu joints, 
xDD And pluck x3 the OwO mangwed Tybawt from :33 his shroud., 
^.^ And, uWu in ÚwÚ this rage, with x3 some great xDD kinsman's bonye 
;;w;; As with :3 a club ÚwÚ dash x3 out x3 my desp'wate brains? 
>_< O, look! uWu methinks UwU I >_> see x3 my uWu cousin's xDD ghost 
UwU Seeking x3 out ;;w;; Womeo, :3 that uWu did spit :33 his >w< body 
>_> Upon :3 a ÚwÚ wapiew's point. Stay, uWu Tybawt, ^-^ stay! 
;;w;; Womeo, UwU I >w< come! ÚwÚ this UwU do UwU I ÚwÚ dwink to thee. 

:33 She UwU [dwinks uWu and] ^w^ fawws ;;w;; upon her x3 bed within x3 the UwU cuwtains. 




Scene :33 IV. 
UwU Capuwet's ÚwÚ house. 

Entew xDD Wady of x3 the House ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Nyuwse. 

^-^ Wady. UwU Howd, OwO take these ;;w;; keys ÚwÚ and :3 fetch ^.^ mowe uWu spices, nurse. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^-^ They caww fow x3 dates ÚwÚ and >w< quinces uWu in x3 the xDD pastwy. 

Entew ^-^ Owd Capuwet. 

uWu Cap. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ stiw, ÚwÚ stiw, stir! uWu The second >_> cock hath crow'd, 
uWu The OwO cuwfew beww hath xDD wung, UwU 'tis >w< thwee OwO o'cwock. 
Wook to x3 the ^.^ bak'd ;;w;; meats, ÚwÚ good uWu Angewica; 
^w^ Spawe nyot fow OwO cost. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^w^ Go, xDD you ;;w;; cot-quean, x3 go, 
>_< Get xDD you to bed! Faith, you'ww be >w< sick to-mowwow 
For ÚwÚ this night's UwU watching. 
uWu Cap. :3 Nyo, nyot :3 a whit. What, UwU I uWu have UwU watch'd ere nyow 
All >w< nyight fow wessew >_< cause, ÚwÚ and ^w^ nye'ew :33 been ;;w;; sick. 
^-^ Wady. Ay, xDD you uWu have :33 been :3 a x3 mouse-hunt uWu in x3 youw time; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; watch xDD you from xDD such ^w^ watching now. 
Exeunt xDD Wady ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Nyuwse. 
uWu Cap. ^-^ A jealous :3 hood, :3 a jealous :33 hood! 

Entew >w< thwee ow fouw [Fellows, with x3 spits ÚwÚ and logs ÚwÚ and ^w^ baskets. 

>_> What >_> is OwO thewe? >_> Nyow, fewwow, 
>w< Fewwow. ^w^ Things fow x3 the cook, siw; >_> but UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot what. 
uWu Cap. ^-^ Make xDD haste, >_< make ^.^ haste. ;;w;; [Exit Fewwow.] Siwwah, :3 fetch ^w^ dwiew 
wogs. 
;;w;; Caww ^-^ Petew; ^.^ he xDD wiww x3 show uWu thee :3 whewe ;;w;; they x3 awe. 
>w< Fewwow. UwU I uWu have :3 a head, ^w^ siw, :3 that xDD wiww find x3 out logs 
xDD And >_< nyevew >_> twoubwe Petew fow x3 the :3 mattew. 
uWu Cap. Mass, ÚwÚ and weww ÚwÚ said; :3 a ^.^ mewwy whoweson, :33 ha! 
^.^ Thou shalt be xDD woggewhead. ;;w;; [Exit Fewwow.] ^-^ Good ^w^ faith, UwU 'tis x3 day. 
uWu The xDD County xDD wiww be OwO hewe with uWu music stwaight, 
For UwU so ^.^ he uWu said ^.^ he would. >_> Pway >_> music. 
UwU I hear ^.^ him ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
Nurse! ^-^ Wife! What, ho! What, xDD nyuwse, UwU I ;;w;; say! 

Entew ÚwÚ Nyuwse. 
Go >w< waken uWu Juwiet; OwO go ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twim her :33 up. 
I'll OwO go ÚwÚ and ^.^ chat with Paris. uWu Hie, >_< make xDD haste, 
^-^ Make UwU haste! uWu The bwidegwoom ^.^ he >_> is come ;;w;; awweady: 
^-^ Make xDD haste, UwU I :3 say. 
[Exeunt.] 




Scene V. 
;;w;; Juwiet's ^.^ chambew. 

[Entew >w< Nyuwse.] 

ÚwÚ Nyuwse. ^-^ Mistwess! x3 what, mistwess! :33 Juwiet! ;;w;; Fast, UwU I :33 wawwant hew, ^w^ she. 
Why, uWu wamb! >w< why, :33 wady! OwO Fie, xDD you swug-abed! 
Why, xDD wuv, UwU I ;;w;; say! madam! sweetheart! Why, :33 bwide! 
What, nyot :3 a word? >_> You OwO take x3 youw pennyworths >_< nyow! 
OwO Sweep fow :3 a xDD week; fow x3 the :3 nyext night, UwU I warrant, 
uWu The xDD County Paris hath uWu set x3 up :33 his xDD west 
:33 That xDD you UwU shaww xDD west >_> but ^.^ wittwe. ^w^ God :33 fowgive me! 
OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ and amen. How >_> sound >_> is ^.^ she asleep! 
UwU I >_< nyeeds ^w^ must wake her. uWu Madam, UwU madam, madam! 
Ay, wet x3 the xDD County OwO take xDD you uWu in x3 youw bed! 
^-^ He'ww :33 fwight xDD you up, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. Will >w< it nyot :3 be? 
[Draws :3 aside x3 the curtains.] 
What, dwess'd, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 youw cwothes, ÚwÚ and down ^w^ again? 
UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds wake OwO you. uWu Wady! :33 wady! :33 wady! 
ÚwÚ Awas, ^.^ awas! Hewp, :33 hewp! OwO My >_> wady's ÚwÚ dead! 
x3 O >_> wewaday :3 that OwO evew UwU I UwU was uWu bown! 
;;w;; Some UwU aqua-vitae, ho! OwO My ^.^ wowd! x3 my :33 wady! 

Entew Mother. 

Mother. >_> What noise >_> is hewe? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. x3 O lamentable ^.^ day! 
Mother. >_> What >_> is x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. x3 Wook, look! x3 O x3 heavy ^.^ day! 
Mother. x3 O uWu me, x3 O me! OwO My child, x3 my >w< onwy wife! 
Revive, wook up, ow UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ die with uWu thee! 
Hewp, :33 hewp! ;;w;; Caww ;;w;; hewp. 

Entew Fathew. 

Fathew. For UwU shame, ;;w;; bwing Juwiet forth; her ;;w;; wowd >_> is x3 come. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. >_> She's >_< dead, ^.^ deceas'd; ^w^ she's ÚwÚ dead! Alack x3 the ^.^ day! 
Mother. Alack x3 the ^-^ day, ^w^ she's >_< dead, ^w^ she's >_< dead, ^w^ she's ÚwÚ dead! 
uWu Cap. uWu Ha! wet ;;w;; me >_> see her. UwU Out ^.^ awas! ^w^ she's >_< cowd, 
:3 Hew :3 bwood >_> is >_> settwed, ÚwÚ and her xDD joints OwO awe stiff; 
Life ÚwÚ and these lips uWu have ^-^ wong :33 been sepawated. 
>_> Death wies on her ^.^ wike >w< an untimely frost 
>_> Upon x3 the ^w^ sweetest fwowew of aww x3 the >_> fiewd. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. x3 O lamentable ^.^ day! 
Mother. x3 O ^-^ wofuw xDD time! 
uWu Cap. Death, :3 that hath >_> ta'en her >w< hence to >_< make ;;w;; me ^.^ waiw, 
Ties x3 up x3 my >_> tongue ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot wet ;;w;; me >_< speak. 

Entew uWu Fwiaw ^w^ [Wauwence] ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD County [Paris], with ^w^ Musicians. 

Fwiaw. ^.^ Come, >_> is x3 the bride ready to OwO go to church? 
uWu Cap. Weady to x3 go, >_> but >_< nyevew to wetuwn. 
x3 O x3 son, x3 the >w< nyight >w< befowe >w< thy ÚwÚ wedding day 
>_< Hath >_> Death xDD wain with >w< thy x3 wife. :3 See, there ^.^ she lies, 
:3 Fwowew >_< as ^.^ she UwU was, deflowered ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
>_> Death >_> is x3 my x3 son-in-waw, >_> Death >_> is x3 my heir; 
OwO My daughter ^.^ he hath wedded. UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ die 
xDD And OwO weave ^.^ him all. >_< Wife, >w< wiving, aww >_> is >w< Death's. 
;;w;; Paw. :3 Have UwU I xDD thought ^-^ wong to >_> see ÚwÚ this :3 mownying's >w< face, 
xDD And xDD doth >w< it UwU give ;;w;; me xDD such :3 a ^.^ sight >_< as :3 this? 
Mother. ^.^ Accuws'd, >_< unhappy, wretched, hateful ^.^ day! 
:3 Most >w< misewabwe >_> houw :3 that ;;w;; e'ew time saw 
^w^ In :3 wasting labour of :33 his pilgrimage! 
OwO But one, poor one, one poor ÚwÚ and >w< woving child, 
OwO But one ^.^ thing to rejoice ÚwÚ and sowace x3 in, 
xDD And UwU cwuew >_> Death hath UwU catch'd >w< it from x3 my ;;w;; sight! 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. x3 O >_< woe? x3 O woful, woful, ^-^ wofuw ^.^ day! 
:3 Most lamentable ^-^ day, UwU most ^-^ wofuw day 
:33 That OwO evew OwO evew UwU I uWu did yet behold! 
x3 O ^.^ day! x3 O ^.^ day! x3 O ^.^ day! x3 O hateful ^.^ day! 
xDD Nyevew UwU was :3 seen UwU so black :3 a day >_< as UwU this. 
x3 O ^-^ wofuw ^.^ day! x3 O ^-^ wofuw ^.^ day! 
;;w;; Paw. OwO Beguiw'd, OwO divowced, ^-^ wwonged, spited, ;;w;; swain! 
:3 Most ^.^ detestabwe Death, ^.^ by uWu thee ^.^ beguiw'd, 
^-^ By UwU cwuew UwU cwuew uWu thee quite >_< uvwthwown! 
x3 O love! x3 O wife! nyot :3 wife, >_> but wuv uWu in :33 death 
uWu Cap. x3 Despis'd, distressed, hated, ÚwÚ mawtyw'd, kiww'd! 
ÚwÚ Uncomfowtabwe time, >w< why xDD cam'st xDD thou nyow 
;;w;; To >_> muwthew, muwthew UwU ouw ^w^ sowemnyity? 
x3 O >_> chiwd! x3 O >_> chiwd! x3 my x3 souw, ÚwÚ and nyot x3 my >_> chiwd! 
Dead awt UwU thou, ÚwÚ dead! awack, x3 my chiwd >_> is >_< dead, 
xDD And with x3 my chiwd x3 my joys OwO awe :33 buwied! 
Fwiaw. uWu Peace, :3 ho, fow x3 shame! Confusion's >w< cuwe ;;w;; wives nyot 
^w^ In these ^.^ confusions. uWu Heaven ÚwÚ and >_> youwsewf 
xDD Had ÚwÚ pawt uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< faiw x3 maid! nyow heaven hath all, 
xDD And aww x3 the xDD bettew >_> is >w< it fow x3 the ^-^ maid. 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ pawt uWu in her xDD you couwd nyot >_< keep from UwU death, 
OwO But heaven keeps :33 his ÚwÚ pawt uWu in xDD etewnyaw life. 
uWu The UwU most xDD you >_< sought UwU was her pwomotion, 
For uWu 'twas x3 youw heaven ^.^ she >_> shouwd be >_< advanc'd; 
xDD And xDD weep OwO ye now, ^-^ seeing ^.^ she >_> is >w< advanc'd 
Abuv x3 the >_> cwouds, >_< as xDD high >_< as heaven ÚwÚ itsewf? 
>_< O, uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD wuv, xDD you wuv x3 youw chiwd UwU so :33 iww 
:33 That xDD you >w< wun mad, ^-^ seeing :3 that ^.^ she >_> is well. 
>_> She's nyot weww mawwied :3 that ;;w;; wives mawwied long, 
OwO But ^w^ she's best mawwied :3 that dies mawwied ^w^ young. 
;;w;; Dwy x3 up x3 youw tears ÚwÚ and OwO stick x3 youw >w< wosemawy 
On ÚwÚ this >w< faiw :33 cowse, x3 and, >_< as x3 the ;;w;; custom ;;w;; is, 
^w^ In aww her best awway UwU beaw her to OwO chuwch; 
For ^w^ though fond ÚwÚ nyatuwe UwU bids >_> us aww :33 wament, 
ÚwÚ Yet ;;w;; nyatuwe's tears OwO awe OwO weason's :33 mewwiment. 
uWu Cap. All ^.^ things :3 that ^.^ we xDD owdainyed festival 
Tuwn from uWu theiw ^.^ office to black uWu funyewaw- 
Our instwuments to ^-^ mewanchowy OwO bewws, 
Our ÚwÚ wedding cheer to :3 a >_> sad >w< buwiaw :3 feast; 
Our solemn hymns to UwU suwwen uWu diwges uWu change; 
Our bwidaw fwowews serve fow :3 a buried UwU cowse; 
xDD And aww ^.^ things change them to x3 the ^.^ contwawy. 
Fwiaw. UwU Siw, OwO go xDD you UwU in; x3 and, UwU madam, OwO go with him; 
xDD And x3 go, Sir Paris. Evewy one >_> pwepawe 
;;w;; To ;;w;; fowwow ÚwÚ this >w< faiw cowse >w< unto her x3 gwave. 
uWu The heavens UwU do low'r ;;w;; upon xDD you fow x3 some iww; 
^.^ Muv them nyo ^.^ mowe ^.^ by :33 cwossing uWu theiw xDD high :33 wiww. 
:33 Exeunt. Manyent OwO Musicians [and uWu Nyuwse]. 
:3 1. xDD Mus. Faith, ^.^ we OwO may put x3 up UwU ouw xDD pipes ÚwÚ and be ;;w;; gonye. 
ÚwÚ Nyuwse. :3 Honyest ÚwÚ good fewwows, UwU ah, put up, put ^-^ up! 
For weww xDD you ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a ^w^ pitifuw :3 case. ^-^ [Exit.] 
:3 1. xDD Mus. Ay, ^.^ by x3 my troth, x3 the case OwO may be ^w^ amended. 

Entew ;;w;; Petew. 

>_< Pet. Musicians, >_< O, uWu musicians, ÚwÚ 'Heawt's ease,' ÚwÚ 'Heawt's >_> ease'! 
>_< O, >w< an xDD you xDD wiww uWu have ;;w;; me x3 wive, :33 pway ÚwÚ 'Heawt's ease.' 
:3 1. xDD Mus. Why ÚwÚ 'Heawt's UwU ease'', 
>_< Pet. >_< O, uWu musicians, uWu because x3 my >_< heawt itsewf plays >w< 'My >_< heawt >_> is full 
of ^w^ woe.' >_< O, :33 pway ;;w;; me x3 some ^.^ mewwy ^-^ dump to uWu comfowt x3 me. 
:3 1. xDD Mus. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a ^-^ dump ^-^ we! 'Tis nyo time to :33 pway now. 
>_< Pet. >_> You xDD wiww nyot ^w^ then? 
:3 1. xDD Mus. No. 
>_< Pet. UwU I xDD wiww xDD then UwU give >w< it xDD you soundly. 
:3 1. xDD Mus. >_> What xDD wiww xDD you UwU give us? 
>_< Pet. No monyey, on x3 my ^w^ faith, >_> but x3 the >_> gweek. UwU I xDD wiww UwU give xDD you x3 the 
^.^ minstwew. 
:3 1. xDD Mus. UwU Then xDD wiww UwU I UwU give xDD you x3 the sewving-cweatuwe. 
>_< Pet. UwU Then xDD wiww UwU I uWu way x3 the x3 sewving-cweatuwe's ÚwÚ daggew on x3 youw pate. 
UwU I xDD wiww carry nyo >_< cwotchets. I'll re UwU you, I'll >_> fa OwO you. Do xDD you ^-^ nyote 
me? 
:3 1. xDD Mus. ^-^ An xDD you re >_> us ÚwÚ and >_> fa us, xDD you ^-^ nyote >_> us. 
uWu 2. xDD Mus. >_> Pway xDD you put x3 up x3 youw x3 daggew, ÚwÚ and put x3 out x3 youw >_< wit. 
>_< Pet. UwU Then uWu have uWu at xDD you with x3 my wit! UwU I xDD wiww dwy-beat xDD you with >w< an iwon 
^w^ wit, ÚwÚ and put x3 up x3 my iwon >w< daggew. Answer ;;w;; me ^.^ wike ^.^ men. 

^-^ 'When ^-^ gwiping grief x3 the >_< heawt xDD doth ^-^ wound, 
xDD And dowefuw uWu dumps x3 the ^-^ mind :33 oppwess, 
UwU Then uWu music with her :33 siwvew :3 sound'- 

Why >_> 'siwvew OwO sound'? Why >w< 'music with her :33 siwvew OwO sound'? 
>_> What >_> say UwU you, UwU Simon OwO Catwing? 
:3 1. xDD Mus. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, uWu because :33 siwvew hath :3 a x3 sweet UwU sound. 
>_< Pet. UwU Pwetty! >_> What >_> say >_< You, ^.^ Hugh Rebeck? 
uWu 2. xDD Mus. UwU I >_> say >_> 'siwvew sound' uWu because musicians >_> sound fow uWu siwvew. 
>_< Pet. x3 Pwetty ;;w;; too! >_> What >_> say UwU you, ;;w;; James >_< Soundpost? 
>w< 3. xDD Mus. Faith, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what to :3 say. 
>_< Pet. >_< O, UwU I cwy xDD you mercy! xDD you OwO awe x3 the xDD singew. UwU I xDD wiww >_> say fow OwO you. ^.^ It 
>_> is >w< 'music with her :33 siwvew sound' uWu because musicians uWu have nyo gowd 
fow ^.^ sounding. 

uWu 'Then uWu music with her :33 siwvew >_> sound 
With UwU speedy OwO hewp xDD doth xDD wend :3 wedwess.' >w< [Exit. 

:3 1. xDD Mus. >_> What :3 a pestilent x3 knyave >_> is ÚwÚ this >w< same? 
uWu 2. xDD Mus. Hang :3 him, Jack! ^.^ Come, we'll uWu in UwU hewe, ^.^ tawwy fow x3 the 
xDD mouwnyews, ÚwÚ and xDD stay uWu dinnyew. 
:33 Exeunt. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. Scene ^.^ I. 
Mantua. ^-^ A :33 stweet. 

Entew ^-^ Womeo. 

Rom. ;;w;; If UwU I OwO may :33 twust x3 the flattering uWu twuth of :33 sweep 
OwO My x3 dweams presage x3 some >w< joyfuw nyews uWu at >w< hand. 
OwO My :3 bosom's ;;w;; wowd >_> sits >w< wightwy uWu in :33 his throne, 
xDD And aww ÚwÚ this day >w< an ^.^ unyaccustom'd ^w^ spiwit 
Lifts ;;w;; me :33 abuv x3 the x3 gwound with cheerful >w< thoughts. 
UwU I dweamt x3 my uWu wady ^-^ came ÚwÚ and >_> found ;;w;; me >_< dead 
(Strange dweam :3 that ;;w;; gives :3 a >_< dead x3 man OwO weave to think!) 
xDD And >w< bweath'd xDD such >w< wife with ^-^ kisses uWu in x3 my lips 
:33 That UwU I xDD weviv'd ÚwÚ and UwU was >w< an uWu empewow. 
Ah me! >w< how x3 sweet >_> is wuv itsewf possess'd, 
x3 When >_> but love's ^-^ shadows OwO awe UwU so rich uWu in >_< joy! 

Entew Romeo's ^-^ Man ÚwÚ Bawthasaw, uWu booted. 

News from Verona! How now, Bawthasaw? 
uWu Dost xDD thou nyot ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me x3 wettews from x3 the friar? 
How xDD doth x3 my x3 wady? Is x3 my >w< fathew ^.^ weww? 
How fawes x3 my Juliet? :33 That UwU I ^w^ ask OwO again, 
For >_< nyothing ^.^ can be :33 iww >_> if ^.^ she be well. 
uWu Man. UwU Then ^.^ she >_> is weww, ÚwÚ and >_< nyothing ^.^ can be ill. 
:3 Hew >w< body sweeps uWu in Capel's ;;w;; monyument, 
xDD And her :3 immowtaw ÚwÚ pawt with ^-^ angews ^.^ wives. 
UwU I saw her laid wow uWu in her kindwed's >_< vauwt 
xDD And presently >_> took x3 post to tell >w< it OwO you. 
>_< O, UwU pawdon ;;w;; me fow x3 bwinging these :33 iww news, 
Since xDD you uWu did OwO weave >w< it fow x3 my office, sir. 
Rom. Is >w< it ^w^ e'en so? UwU Then UwU I ^.^ defy UwU you, UwU staws! 
^.^ Thou knowest x3 my ÚwÚ wodging. >_< Get ;;w;; me ink ÚwÚ and paper 
xDD And uWu hiwe >_< posthowses. UwU I xDD wiww >w< hence to-night. 
uWu Man. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, uWu have OwO patience. 
uWu Youw :33 wooks OwO awe pawe ÚwÚ and >w< wiwd ÚwÚ and UwU do impowt 
;;w;; Some :33 misadventuwe. 
Rom. Tush, xDD thou awt ;;w;; deceiv'd. 
Weave ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and UwU do x3 the ^.^ thing UwU I bid uWu thee xDD do. 
Hast xDD thou nyo x3 wettews to ;;w;; me from x3 the friar? 
uWu Man. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
Rom. No :3 mattew. >_< Get uWu thee >_> gonye 
xDD And uWu hiwe UwU those :33 howses. I'll be with uWu thee stwaight. 
uWu Exit [Bawthasaw]. 
xDD Weww, Juwiet, UwU I xDD wiww >_< wie with uWu thee to-night. 
:3 Wet's >_> see fow means. x3 O mischief, xDD thou awt UwU swift 
;;w;; To enter uWu in x3 the >_< thoughts of despewate :3 men! 
UwU I UwU do remember >w< an xDD apothecawy, 
xDD And ÚwÚ heweabouts xDD 'a dwells, which wate UwU I noted 
^w^ In x3 tatt'wed ÚwÚ weeds, with overwhelming brows, 
Culling of simples. Meagre :3 wewe :33 his looks, 
^-^ Shawp misery xDD had wown ^.^ him to x3 the bones; 
xDD And uWu in :33 his nyeedy >_> shop :3 a towtoise hung, 
^-^ An alligator stuff'd, ÚwÚ and othew ÚwÚ skins 
Of iww-shaped uWu fishes; ÚwÚ and about :33 his shelves 
^-^ A beggarly :33 account of :33 empty >w< boxes, 
Green >_< eawthen >w< pots, bwaddews, ÚwÚ and :3 musty uWu seeds, 
Wemnyants of :33 packthwead, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd OwO cakes of >_< woses 
^.^ Wewe thinly scattewed, to >_< make x3 up :3 a show. 
ÚwÚ Nyoting ÚwÚ this xDD penyuwy, to mysewf UwU I said, 
>_< 'An >_> if :3 a x3 man uWu did >_< nyeed :3 a x3 poison nyow 
>_< Whose sawe >_> is xDD pwesent :33 death uWu in uWu Mantua, 
:3 Hewe ;;w;; wives :3 a ^.^ caitiff uWu wwetch ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; seww >w< it >_< him.' 
>_< O, ÚwÚ this same xDD thought uWu did >_> but UwU fowewun x3 my need, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this same nyeedy x3 man ^w^ must ;;w;; seww >w< it x3 me. 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU wemembew, ÚwÚ this >_> shouwd be x3 the ÚwÚ house. 
uWu Being ^.^ howiday, x3 the ^.^ beggaw's >_> shop >_> is :3 shut. What, ho! ^w^ apothecawy! 

Entew x3 Apothecawy. 

>_> Apoth. Who ;;w;; cawws UwU so loud? 
Rom. :3 Come hithew, man. UwU I >_> see :3 that xDD thou awt :3 poow. 
UwU Howd, there >_> is >w< fowty xDD ducats. Let ;;w;; me uWu have 
^-^ A UwU dwam of uWu poison, xDD such soon-speeding geaw 
;;w;; As xDD wiww UwU dispewse itsewf ^w^ thwough aww x3 the >_> veins 
:33 That x3 the life-weary :33 takew x3 maww faww >_< dead, 
xDD And :3 that x3 the UwU twunk OwO may be UwU dischawg'd of UwU bweath 
;;w;; As >_< viowentwy >_< as >_> hasty OwO powdew ^.^ fiw'd 
^-^ Doth huwwy from x3 the uWu fataw >w< cannyon's womb. 
>_> Apoth. >w< Such >w< mowtaw drugs UwU I uWu have; >_> but x3 Mantua's law 
Is :33 death to xDD any ^.^ he :3 that uttews OwO them. 
Rom. Awt xDD thou UwU so OwO bawe ÚwÚ and full of ^-^ wwetchednyess 
xDD And uWu feawest to die? Faminye >_> is uWu in >w< thy cheeks, 
Nyeed ÚwÚ and oppwession ^.^ stawveth uWu in ^.^ thinye ^w^ eyes, 
ÚwÚ Contempt ÚwÚ and :33 beggawy uWu hangs ;;w;; upon >w< thy uWu back: 
uWu The wowwd >_> is nyot >w< thy fwiend, nor x3 the OwO wowwd's UwU waw; 
uWu The wowwd affowds nyo law to >_< make uWu thee wich; 
UwU Then be nyot OwO poow, >_> but bweak >w< it ÚwÚ and OwO take UwU this. 
>_> Apoth. OwO My uWu puvwty >_> but nyot x3 my xDD wiww :3 consents. 
Rom. UwU I x3 pay >w< thy uWu puvwty ÚwÚ and nyot >w< thy :33 wiww. 
>_> Apoth. >_> Put ÚwÚ this uWu in xDD any OwO wiquid ^.^ thing xDD you xDD wiww 
xDD And ÚwÚ dwink >w< it ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and >_> if xDD you xDD had x3 the ÚwÚ stwength 
Of ÚwÚ twenty men, >w< it ^.^ wouwd dispatch xDD you stwaight. 
Rom. >_> Thewe >_> is >w< thy gowd- xDD wowse x3 poison to men's souws, 
:33 Doing ^.^ mowe muwthew uWu in ÚwÚ this woathsome ^w^ wowwd, 
Than these poor uWu compounds :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst nyot ^-^ seww. 
UwU I ;;w;; seww uWu thee ÚwÚ poison; xDD thou x3 hast sold ;;w;; me none. 
uWu Faweweww. xDD Buy OwO food ÚwÚ and get >w< thysewf uWu in ÚwÚ fwesh. 
^.^ Come, cowdiaw ÚwÚ and nyot uWu poison, OwO go with ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To ;;w;; Juwiet's >w< gwave; fow there ^w^ must UwU I use thee. 
:33 Exeunt. 




Scene UwU II. 
Verona. uWu Fwiaw Laurence's >w< ceww. 

Entew uWu Fwiaw John to uWu Fwiaw Wauwence. 

OwO John. Holy >w< Fwanciscan >_< fwiaw, brother, ho! 

Entew uWu Fwiaw Wauwence. 

OwO Wauw. This same >_> shouwd be x3 the uWu voice of uWu Fwiaw OwO John. 
Welcome from Mantua. >_> What ;;w;; says ^.^ Womeo? 
:3 Ow, >_> if :33 his ^-^ mind be ;;w;; wwit, UwU give ;;w;; me :33 his >_> wettew. 
OwO John. ÚwÚ Going to find :3 a barefoot ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ out, 
x3 Onye of UwU ouw order, to ÚwÚ associate ;;w;; me 
:3 Hewe uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU city ÚwÚ visiting x3 the :33 sick, 
xDD And finding :3 him, x3 the ^-^ seawchews of x3 the xDD town, 
Suspecting :3 that ^.^ we both :3 wewe uWu in :3 a ;;w;; house 
Whewe x3 the xDD infectious uWu pestiwence uWu did reign, 
Seaw'd x3 up x3 the doows, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd nyot wet >_> us ^-^ fowth, 
^w^ So :3 that x3 my ^w^ speed to >_< Mantua there UwU was ^.^ stay'd. 
OwO Wauw. Who OwO bawe x3 my letter, >w< then, to ^.^ Womeo? 
OwO John. UwU I couwd nyot >_> send OwO it- OwO hewe >w< it >_> is ^w^ again- 
x3 Nyow get :3 a :3 messengew to ;;w;; bwing >w< it ÚwÚ thee, 
^w^ So x3 feawfuw :3 wewe ;;w;; they of ^w^ infection. 
OwO Wauw. Unhappy fortune! ^-^ By x3 my bwothewhood, 
uWu The >_> wettew UwU was nyot :3 nyice, >_> but full of charge, 
Of uWu deaw impowt; ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD nyegwecting >w< it 
^-^ May UwU do much danger. uWu Fwiaw John, OwO go hence, 
>_< Get ;;w;; me >w< an iwon x3 cwow ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing >w< it ^w^ stwaight 
uWu Unto x3 my >w< ceww. 
OwO John. UwU Bwothew, I'll OwO go ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing >w< it thee. ÚwÚ Exit. 
OwO Wauw. >_> Nyow, ^w^ must UwU I to x3 the ;;w;; monyument >_< awonye. 
OwO Within ÚwÚ this >w< thwee >_> houws xDD wiww >w< faiw Juwiet wake. 
:33 She xDD wiww :3 beshwew ;;w;; me much :3 that >_< Womeo 
>_< Hath xDD had nyo ÚwÚ nyotice of these ^.^ accidents; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww >w< wwite again to uWu Mantua, 
xDD And >_< keep her uWu at x3 my cell >w< tiww >_< Womeo come- 
OwO Poow UwU wiving :33 cowse, ^w^ cwos'd uWu in :3 a >_< dead :33 man's x3 tomb! ÚwÚ Exit. 




Scene >_> III. 
Verona. ^-^ A churchyard; uWu in >w< it x3 the ;;w;; monyument of x3 the UwU Capuwets. 

Entew Paris ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu Page with fwowews ÚwÚ and OwO [a towch]. 

;;w;; Paw. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy torch, uWu boy. Hence, ÚwÚ and stand :33 awoof. 
ÚwÚ Yet put >w< it ^.^ out, fow UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be ÚwÚ seen. 
;;w;; Undew :33 yond >_< yew twee uWu way uWu thee aww along, 
Holding ^.^ thinye ear ^-^ cwose to x3 the OwO howwow :33 gwound. 
^w^ So UwU shaww nyo :33 foot ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 chuwchyawd ;;w;; twead 
ÚwÚ (Being UwU woose, ;;w;; unfiwm, with :33 digging x3 up of graves) 
OwO But xDD thou shalt hear :3 it. >w< Whistwe xDD then to uWu me, 
;;w;; As OwO signyaw :3 that xDD thou x3 heaw'st ^-^ something ;;w;; appwoach. 
Give ;;w;; me UwU those fwowews. Do >_< as UwU I bid ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ go. 
^.^ Page. >w< [aside] UwU I ^w^ am almost :33 afwaid to stand awonye 
:3 Hewe uWu in x3 the churchyard; yet UwU I xDD wiww adventuwe. >_< [Wetiwes.] 
;;w;; Paw. ÚwÚ Sweet x3 fwowew, with fwowews >w< thy bwidaw x3 bed UwU I strew 
UwU (O woe! >w< thy >w< canyopy >_> is x3 dust ÚwÚ and stonyes) 
>_< Which with x3 sweet UwU watew xDD nyightwy UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ dew; 
:3 Ow, ^-^ wanting :3 that, with tears uWu distiww'd ^.^ by x3 moans. 
uWu The :3 obsequies :3 that UwU I fow uWu thee xDD wiww >_< keep 
Nightly UwU shaww be to stwew, >w< thy :3 gwave ÚwÚ and >_> weep. 
>w< Whistwe UwU Boy. 
uWu The ;;w;; boy ;;w;; gives :3 wawnying ^-^ something xDD doth ;;w;; appwoach. 
>_> What uWu cuwsed :33 foot UwU wandews ÚwÚ this uWu way ^.^ to-nyight 
;;w;; To OwO cwoss x3 my :3 obsequies ÚwÚ and true love's xDD wite? 
What, with :3 a >w< towch? >w< Muffwe uWu me, night, OwO awhiwe. >_< [Wetiwes.] 

Entew ;;w;; Womeo, ÚwÚ and :3 Bawthasaw with :3 a torch, :3 a mattock, 
ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 cwow of iwon. 

Rom. Give ;;w;; me :3 that mattock ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ wwenching iwon. 
UwU Howd, OwO take ÚwÚ this >_> wettew. ^-^ Eawwy uWu in x3 the mownying 
xDD See xDD thou ÚwÚ dewivew >w< it to x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and :33 fathew. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 the light. >_> Upon >w< thy >w< wife UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, 
ÚwÚ Whate'ew xDD thou UwU heawest ow >_< seest, stand aww >_< awoof 
xDD And UwU do nyot interrupt ;;w;; me uWu in x3 my course. 
Why UwU I descend x3 into ÚwÚ this x3 bed of :33 death 
Is ;;w;; pawtwy to behowd x3 my >_> wady's >w< face, 
OwO But ^.^ chiefwy to OwO take thence from her >_< dead finger 
^-^ A >_< pwecious x3 wing- :3 a OwO wing :3 that UwU I ^w^ must use 
^w^ In uWu deaw ^-^ empwoyment. Therefore hence, be ;;w;; gonye. 
OwO But >_> if UwU thou, >_> jeawous, dost ^-^ wetuwn to ^.^ pwy 
^w^ In >_> what UwU I ^-^ fawthew UwU shaww intend to UwU do, 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I xDD wiww teaw uWu thee UwU joint ^.^ by UwU joint 
xDD And strew ÚwÚ this hungwy x3 chuwchyawd with >w< thy xDD wimbs. 
uWu The time ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 intents OwO awe savage-wiwd, 
uWu Mowe >_< fiewce ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe >w< inyexowabwe uWu faw 
Than :33 empty :33 tigews ow x3 the xDD woawing :33 sea. 
>_> Baw. UwU I xDD wiww be >w< gonye, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and nyot >_> twoubwe OwO you. 
Rom. ^w^ So shalt xDD thou x3 show ;;w;; me friendship. ^.^ Take xDD thou x3 that. 
Wive, ÚwÚ and be >_> pwospewous; ÚwÚ and farewell, ÚwÚ good UwU fewwow. 
>_> Baw. >w< [aside] For aww ÚwÚ this same, I'll hide ;;w;; me uWu heweabout. 
ÚwÚ His :33 wooks UwU I ;;w;; feaw, ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 intents UwU I ^-^ doubt. >_< [Wetiwes.] 
Rom. ^.^ Thou ^.^ detestabwe xDD maw, xDD thou womb of UwU death, 
Gorg'd with x3 the deawest mowsew of x3 the earth, 
^-^ Thus UwU I enforce >w< thy wotten ^w^ jaws to open, 
xDD And uWu in ;;w;; despite I'll ;;w;; cwam uWu thee with ^.^ mowe x3 food. 
>_< Womeo :33 opens x3 the ;;w;; tomb. 
;;w;; Paw. This >_> is :3 that banyish'd ^.^ haughty ^w^ Montague 
:33 That ^-^ muwd'wed x3 my love's :3 cousin- with which grief 
^.^ It >_> is ^.^ supposed x3 the >w< faiw creature ÚwÚ died- 
xDD And OwO hewe >_> is come to UwU do x3 some villanous ^-^ shame 
;;w;; To x3 the >_< dead >_> bodies. UwU I xDD wiww >_< appwehend ^.^ him. 
uWu Stop >w< thy :33 unhawwowed :33 toiw, ^-^ viwe Montague! 
UwU Can UwU vengeance be >_< puwsu'd further than UwU death? 
Condemned villain, UwU I UwU do >_< appwehend thee. 
Obey, ÚwÚ and OwO go with OwO me; fow xDD thou ^w^ must die. 
Rom. UwU I ^w^ must :33 indeed; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^-^ came UwU I hithew. 
^-^ Good ^-^ gentwe youth, tempt nyot :3 a desp'wate man. 
xDD Fwy >w< hence ÚwÚ and OwO weave x3 me. ^w^ Think ;;w;; upon these xDD gonye; 
Let them affright thee. UwU I :33 beseech ÚwÚ thee, youth, 
OwO But nyot anyothew x3 sin ;;w;; upon x3 my >_> head 
^-^ By ÚwÚ uwging ;;w;; me to xDD fuwy. >_< O, be ÚwÚ gonye! 
^-^ By ^.^ heaven, UwU I wuv uWu thee xDD bettew than myself, 
For UwU I come ÚwÚ hithew awm'd OwO against :3 mysewf. 
OwO Stay >_> nyot, be ;;w;; gonye. Wive, ÚwÚ and heweaftew >_> say 
^-^ A madman's xDD mewcy bid uWu thee >w< wun xDD away. 
;;w;; Paw. UwU I UwU do ^.^ defy :33 thy, conjuwation 
xDD And >_< appwehend uWu thee fow :3 a felon hewe. 
Rom. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou ;;w;; pwovoke me? UwU Then uWu have uWu at ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ boy! 
^-^ They ^w^ fight. 
^.^ Page. x3 O Wowd, ;;w;; they ^.^ fight! UwU I xDD wiww OwO go caww x3 the :33 watch. 
>w< [Exit. Paris ^-^ fawws.] 
;;w;; Paw. >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; swain! ;;w;; If xDD thou be :3 mewcifuw, 
^w^ Open x3 the ;;w;; tomb, uWu way ;;w;; me with Juliet. ^w^ [Dies.] 
Rom. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, UwU I :33 wiww. Let ;;w;; me OwO pewuse ÚwÚ this ;;w;; face. 
:33 Mewcutio's xDD kinsman, x3 nyobwe xDD County Paris! 
>_> What uWu said x3 my x3 man when x3 my xDD betossed :3 souw 
Did nyot >_< attend ^.^ him >_< as ^.^ we :33 wode? UwU I think 
>w< He told ;;w;; me Paris >_> shouwd uWu have mawwied Juliet. 
:33 Said ^.^ he nyot so? ow uWu did UwU I dweam >w< it so? 
:33 Ow ^w^ am UwU I mad, hearing ^.^ him tawk of Juwiet 
;;w;; To think >w< it UwU was so? >_< O, UwU give ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, 
x3 Onye ^-^ wwit with ;;w;; me uWu in :3 souw misfowtunye's ;;w;; book! 
I'll ^.^ buwy uWu thee uWu in :3 a x3 twiumphant x3 gwave. 
^-^ A gwave? >_< O, no, :3 a ÚwÚ wanthown, slaught'red youth, 
For OwO hewe wies Juwiet, ÚwÚ and her beauty x3 makes 
This >_< vauwt :3 a x3 feasting x3 pwesence full of light. 
Death, >_< wie xDD thou thewe, ^.^ by :3 a >_< dead x3 man ^.^ inteww'd. 
ÚwÚ [Ways ^.^ him uWu in x3 the x3 tomb.] 
How ;;w;; oft when ;;w;; men OwO awe uWu at x3 the :33 point of :33 death 
:3 Have ;;w;; they :33 been merry! which uWu theiw x3 keepews caww 
^-^ A lightning >w< befowe death. >_< O, >w< how OwO may UwU I 
;;w;; Caww ÚwÚ this :3 a uWu wightnying? x3 O x3 my love! x3 my wife! 
Death, :3 that hath ^-^ suck'd x3 the honey of >w< thy :33 bweath, 
>_< Hath xDD had nyo powew yet ;;w;; upon >w< thy beauty. 
^.^ Thou awt nyot x3 conquew'd. Beauty's ensign yet 
Is >_< cwimson uWu in >w< thy lips ÚwÚ and uWu in >w< thy cheeks, 
xDD And ^w^ death's pawe flag >_> is nyot xDD advanced :33 thewe. 
uWu Tybawt, wiest xDD thou there uWu in >w< thy bwoody :33 sheet? 
>_< O, >_> what ^.^ mowe ^.^ favouw ^.^ can UwU I UwU do to uWu thee 
Than with :3 that uWu hand :3 that :3 cut >w< thy :33 youth uWu in twain 
;;w;; To OwO sundew :33 his :3 that UwU was ^.^ thinye enyemy? 
>_< Fowgive uWu me, cousin.' xDD Ah, uWu deaw Juwiet, 
Why awt xDD thou yet UwU so uWu faiw? Shall UwU I ^-^ bewieve 
:33 That unsubstantial >_> Death >_> is ^.^ amowous, 
xDD And :3 that x3 the lean ;;w;; abhowwed monstew keeps 
uWu Thee OwO hewe uWu in dark to be :33 his >w< pawamouw? 
For feaw of :3 that UwU I still xDD wiww xDD stay with uWu thee 
xDD And >_< nyevew from ÚwÚ this ^w^ pawace of dim >w< nyight 
Depart ;;w;; again. Here, OwO hewe xDD wiww UwU I wemain 
With wowms :3 that OwO awe >w< thy chambermaids. >_< O, OwO hewe 
Will UwU I uWu set x3 up x3 my everlasting xDD west 
xDD And ;;w;; shake x3 the x3 yoke of UwU inyauspicious stars 
Fwom ÚwÚ this :33 wowwd-weawied ÚwÚ fwesh. ^-^ Eyes, wook x3 youw last! 
;;w;; Awms, OwO take x3 youw >w< wast embrace! x3 and, :3 wips, x3 O xDD you 
uWu The x3 doows of :33 bweath, UwU seaw with :3 a xDD wighteous :3 kiss 
^-^ A datewess ^w^ bawgain to x3 engwossing ;;w;; death! 
^.^ Come, UwU bittew UwU conduct; come, unsavouwy guide! 
^.^ Thou despewate :33 piwot, nyow uWu at >_> once >w< wun on 
uWu The :3 dashing x3 wocks >w< thy uWu seasick ÚwÚ weawy bawk! 
>_> Hewe's to x3 my love! [Drinks.] x3 O true ^w^ apothecawy! 
x3 Thy drugs OwO awe quick. ^-^ Thus with :3 a :3 kiss UwU I die. UwU Fawws. 

Entew uWu Fwiaw x3 [Wauwence], with ÚwÚ wanthown, crow, ÚwÚ and spade. 

Fwiaw. Saint ^-^ Fwancis be x3 my uWu speed! >w< how ;;w;; oft ^.^ to-nyight 
:3 Have x3 my ;;w;; owd ;;w;; feet stumbwed uWu at >_< gwaves! Who's OwO thewe? 
>_> Baw. >_> Hewe's one, :3 a fwiend, ÚwÚ and one :3 that xDD knyows xDD you well. 
Fwiaw. ;;w;; Bwiss be ;;w;; upon you! Teww uWu me, ÚwÚ good x3 my fwiend, 
>_> What :33 towch >_> is :33 yond :3 that vainwy wends :33 his >w< wight 
;;w;; To gwubs ÚwÚ and >_< eyewess uWu skuwws? ;;w;; As UwU I >w< discewn, 
^.^ It buwnyeth uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ Capews' uWu monyument. 
>_> Baw. ^.^ It xDD doth >_> so, >w< howy siw; ÚwÚ and there's x3 my ^.^ mastew, 
x3 Onye :3 that xDD you love. 
Fwiaw. Who >_> is :33 it? 
>_> Baw. ^-^ Womeo. 
Fwiaw. How ^-^ wong hath ^.^ he :33 been OwO thewe? 
>_> Baw. Full half >w< an hour. 
Fwiaw. Go with ;;w;; me to x3 the vauwt. 
>_> Baw. UwU I dawe >_> nyot, sir. 
OwO My >_< mastew xDD knyows nyot >_> but UwU I ^w^ am >_> gonye hence, 
xDD And uWu feawfuwwy uWu did :33 menyace ;;w;; me with :33 death 
;;w;; If UwU I uWu did xDD stay to wook on :33 his xDD intents. 
Fwiaw. OwO Stay :33 then; I'll OwO go >_< awonye. Fear x3 comes ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
>_< O, much UwU I feaw x3 some :33 iww unthrifty >_> thing. 
>_> Baw. ;;w;; As UwU I uWu did :33 sweep :33 undew ÚwÚ this >_< yew twee UwU hewe, 
UwU I dweamt x3 my >_< mastew ÚwÚ and anyothew :33 fought, 
xDD And :3 that x3 my >_< mastew >_< swew ^.^ him. 
Fwiaw. ÚwÚ Womeo! 
xDD Awack, awack, >_> what :3 bwood >_> is ÚwÚ this which ^.^ stains 
uWu The >_< stony entrance of ÚwÚ this sepuwchwe? 
>_> What >_> mean these masterless ÚwÚ and ^-^ gowy :33 swowds 
;;w;; To >_< wie UwU discowouw'd ^.^ by ÚwÚ this :33 pwace of peace? ;;w;; [Entews x3 the x3 tomb.] 
ÚwÚ Womeo! >_< O, pale! Who else? What, Paris xDD too? 
xDD And uWu steep'd uWu in >_< bwood? xDD Ah, >_> what >w< an :3 unkind >_> houw 
Is guiwty of ÚwÚ this lamentable >_> chance! uWu The uWu wady UwU stiws. 
Juwiet rises. 
^w^ Juw. x3 O >w< comfowtabwe ÚwÚ fwiaw! :3 whewe >_> is x3 my xDD wowd? 
UwU I UwU do remember weww :3 whewe UwU I >_> shouwd be, 
xDD And there UwU I am. Whewe >_> is x3 my ^.^ Womeo? 
Fwiaw. UwU I hear x3 some noise. Lady, come from :3 that nyest 
Of UwU death, ÚwÚ contagion, ÚwÚ and unnyatuwaw OwO sweep. 
^-^ A :33 gweatew powew than ^.^ we ^.^ can contwadict 
>_< Hath thwawted UwU ouw xDD intents. ^.^ Come, come xDD away. 
x3 Thy :33 husband uWu in >w< thy ^w^ bosom there wies UwU dead; 
xDD And Paris UwU too. ^.^ Come, I'll ^-^ dispose of uWu thee 
>_> Among :3 a ÚwÚ sistewhood of >w< howy uWu nyuns. 
OwO Stay nyot to ^.^ question, fow x3 the ;;w;; watch >_> is :3 coming. 
^.^ Come, x3 go, ÚwÚ good Juliet. UwU I dawe nyo longer >_< stay. 
^w^ Juw. ^w^ Go, get uWu thee hence, fow UwU I xDD wiww nyot xDD away. 
uWu Exit x3 [Fwiaw]. 
x3 What's hewe? ^-^ A cup, ^w^ cwos'd uWu in x3 my true love's hand? 
uWu Poison, UwU I see, hath :33 been :33 his timewess OwO end. 
x3 O :33 chuww! UwU dwunk all, ÚwÚ and left nyo xDD fwiendwy >_< dwop 
;;w;; To OwO hewp ;;w;; me >w< aftew? UwU I xDD wiww :3 kiss >w< thy x3 wips. 
Haply x3 some x3 poison yet xDD doth ^w^ hang on them 
;;w;; To >_< make ;;w;; me ^-^ die with :3 a >_> westowative. ^.^ [Kisses uWu him.] 
x3 Thy lips OwO awe >_> wawm! 
:33 Chief ÚwÚ Watch. >_> [within] :33 Wead, uWu boy. >_< Which >w< way? 
Yea, ^w^ nyoise? UwU Then I'll be bwief. x3 O ^w^ happy uWu daggew! 
>_> [Snyatches Romeo's dagger.] 
This >_> is >w< thy ÚwÚ sheath; there ^-^ west, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me die. 
:33 She >_> stabs herself ÚwÚ and ^w^ fawws ^.^ [on Romeo's ;;w;; body]. 

Entew [Pawis's] uWu Boy ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Watch. 

UwU Boy. This >_> is x3 the ;;w;; pwace. There, :3 whewe x3 the :33 towch xDD doth :3 buwn. 
:33 Chief ÚwÚ Watch. ÚwÚ 'the x3 gwound >_> is ^-^ bwoody. Search about x3 the x3 chuwchyawd. 
^w^ Go, x3 some of uWu you; ÚwÚ whoe'ew xDD you find x3 attach. 
UwU [Exeunt x3 some of x3 the ^w^ Watch.] 
^-^ Pitifuw ;;w;; sight! OwO hewe wies x3 the xDD County slain; 
xDD And Juwiet uWu bweeding, wawm, ÚwÚ and x3 nyewwy >_< dead, 
Who OwO hewe hath xDD wain ÚwÚ this >w< two OwO days buried. 
^w^ Go, tell x3 the >_< Pwince; >w< wun to x3 the >w< Capuwets; 
Waise x3 up x3 the :33 Montagues; x3 some ;;w;; othews seawch. 
UwU [Exeunt ;;w;; othews of x3 the ^w^ Watch.] 
We >_> see x3 the x3 gwound wheweon these :3 woes UwU do wie, 
OwO But x3 the true x3 gwound of aww these ^.^ piteous :3 woes 
We ;;w;; cannyot ^-^ without circumstance ^-^ descwy. 

Entew :3 [some of x3 the uWu Watch,] with Romeo's ^-^ Man [Bawthasaw]. 

uWu 2. ÚwÚ Watch. >_> Hewe's Romeo's man. We >_> found ^.^ him uWu in x3 the x3 chuwchyawd. 
:33 Chief ÚwÚ Watch. :33 Howd ^.^ him uWu in :33 safety >w< tiww x3 the Prince come hithew. 

Entew uWu Fwiaw ^w^ [Wauwence] ÚwÚ and anyothew :3 Watchman. 

>w< 3. ÚwÚ Watch. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a >w< fwiaw :3 that trembles, xDD sighs, ÚwÚ and ^-^ weeps. 
We >_> took ÚwÚ this mattock ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this :3 spade from ^.^ him 
;;w;; As ^.^ he UwU was xDD coming from ÚwÚ this x3 chuwchyawd ^w^ side. 
:33 Chief ÚwÚ Watch. ^-^ A great >w< suspicion! OwO Stay x3 the >w< fwiaw UwU too. 

Entew x3 the Prince [and >w< Attendants]. 

UwU Pwince. >_> What ^w^ misadventuwe >_> is UwU so early up, 
:33 That ;;w;; cawws UwU ouw ÚwÚ pewson from UwU ouw mownying >w< west? 

Entew Capuwet ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU Wife ^w^ [with uWu othews]. 

uWu Cap. >_> What >_> shouwd >w< it be, :3 that ;;w;; they UwU so shriek abroad? 
Wife. uWu The OwO peopwe uWu in x3 the :3 stweet cwy xDD 'Womeo,' 
;;w;; Some ^.^ 'Juwiet,' ÚwÚ and x3 some >w< 'Pawis'; ÚwÚ and aww uWu wun, 
With open ^.^ outcwy, toward UwU ouw uWu monyument. 
UwU Pwince. >_> What feaw >_> is ÚwÚ this which stawtwes uWu in UwU ouw ears? 
:33 Chief ÚwÚ Watch. ^-^ Suvweign, OwO hewe wies x3 the xDD County Paris slain; 
xDD And >_< Womeo UwU dead; ÚwÚ and Juwiet, >_< dead x3 befowe, 
Wawm ÚwÚ and x3 nyew kill'd. 
UwU Pwince. Seawch, seek, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow >w< how ÚwÚ this fouw murder ^w^ comes. 
:33 Chief ÚwÚ Watch. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a >_< fwiaw, ÚwÚ and swaughtew'd Romeo's ^w^ man, 
With instwuments ;;w;; upon them ;;w;; fit to open 
;;w;; These >_< dead men's :33 tombs. 
uWu Cap. x3 O OwO heavens! x3 O :3 wife, wook >w< how UwU ouw daughter uWu bweeds! 
This ÚwÚ daggew hath uWu mista'en, for, ^.^ wo, :33 his ;;w;; house 
Is :33 empty on x3 the back of >_< Montague, 
xDD And >w< it >w< missheathed uWu in x3 my ^w^ daughtew's uWu bosom! 
Wife. x3 O me! ÚwÚ this ^.^ sight of :33 death >_> is >_< as :3 a beww 
:33 That >w< wawns x3 my ;;w;; owd age to :3 a xDD sepuwchwe. 

Entew ^w^ Montague [and uWu othews]. 

UwU Pwince. ^.^ Come, OwO Montague; fow xDD thou awt early x3 up 
;;w;; To >_> see >w< thy >_< son ÚwÚ and heir ^.^ mowe early down. 
Mon. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 my ^.^ wiege, x3 my >w< wife >_> is >_< dead >_< to-nyight! 
:3 Gwief of x3 my ÚwÚ son's exiwe hath ;;w;; stopp'd her >_< bweath. 
>_> What further woe conspires OwO against >_< minye >_> age? 
UwU Pwince. x3 Wook, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt ^-^ see. 
Mon. x3 O xDD thou UwU untaught! >_> what ^w^ mannyews >_> is uWu in uWu this, 
;;w;; To x3 pwess >w< befowe >w< thy >w< fathew to :3 a gwave? 
UwU Pwince. Seal x3 up x3 the xDD mouth of outrage fow :3 a while, 
Tiww ^.^ we ^.^ can ^-^ cweaw these ^-^ ambiguities 
xDD And ^.^ knyow uWu theiw spring, uWu theiw head, uWu theiw true descent; 
xDD And xDD then xDD wiww UwU I be general of x3 youw :3 woes 
xDD And lead xDD you even to death. >w< Meantime fowbeaw, 
xDD And wet :33 mischance be ;;w;; swave to OwO patience. 
Bring fowth x3 the ;;w;; pawties of suspicion. 
Fwiaw. UwU I ^w^ am x3 the greatest, able to UwU do least, 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU most >_> suspected, >_< as x3 the time ÚwÚ and :33 pwace 
^-^ Doth >_< make OwO against uWu me, of ÚwÚ this ^.^ diwefuw muwthew; 
xDD And OwO hewe UwU I x3 stand, both to x3 impeach ÚwÚ and OwO puwge 
xDD Mysewf condemnyed ÚwÚ and mysewf ^-^ excus'd. 
UwU Pwince. UwU Then >_> say >w< it >_> once >_> what xDD thou dost ^.^ knyow uWu in UwU this. 
Fwiaw. UwU I xDD wiww be ^-^ bwief, fow x3 my showt uWu date of UwU bweath 
Is nyot UwU so ^-^ wong >_< as >_> is :3 a tedious ^-^ tawe. 
;;w;; Womeo, there >_< dead, UwU was :33 husband to :3 that uWu Juwiet; 
xDD And uWu she, there >_< dead, :3 that Romeo's faithfuw x3 wife. 
UwU I mawwied OwO them; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw :3 stow'n ^.^ mawwiage day 
Was Tybalt's OwO doomsday, x3 whose untimely :33 death 
Banish'd x3 the nyew-made bwidegwoom from ÚwÚ this >_> city; 
For :33 whom, ÚwÚ and nyot fow uWu Tybawt, Juwiet pin'd. 
>_< You, to remove :3 that ^-^ siege of grief from hew, 
;;w;; Betwoth'd ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd uWu have mawwied her ^.^ pewfowce 
;;w;; To xDD County Paris. UwU Then x3 comes ^.^ she to ;;w;; me 
xDD And with >w< wiwd :33 wooks bid ;;w;; me >w< devise x3 some >_> mean 
;;w;; To x3 wid her from ÚwÚ this second ^.^ mawwiage, 
:33 Ow uWu in x3 my cell there ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she OwO kiww hewsewf. 
UwU Then uWu gave UwU I her >_> (so tutowed ^.^ by x3 my xDD awt) 
^-^ A x3 sweeping >_< potion; which UwU so >_> took ^w^ effect 
;;w;; As UwU I ^-^ intended, fow >w< it ;;w;; wwought on her 
uWu The >_< fowm of death. >w< Meantime UwU I ^-^ wwit to >_< Womeo 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> shouwd ÚwÚ hithew come >_< as ÚwÚ this xDD diwe >w< nyight 
;;w;; To OwO hewp to OwO take her from her bowwowed ^-^ gwave, 
uWu Being x3 the time x3 the UwU potion's force >_> shouwd >_> cease. 
OwO But ^.^ he which bore x3 my letter, uWu Fwiaw John, 
Was OwO stay'd ^.^ by :3 accident, ÚwÚ and yesternight 
>_< Wetuwn'd x3 my >_> wettew back. UwU Then aww awonye 
At x3 the pwefixed >_> houw of her UwU waking 
>_< Came UwU I to OwO take her from her kindwed's vault; 
:3 Meanying to >_< keep her x3 cwosewy uWu at x3 my cell 
Tiww UwU I conveniently couwd >_> send to ^-^ Womeo. 
OwO But when UwU I came, x3 some minyute ere x3 the time 
Of her :3 awaking, OwO hewe untimely uWu way 
uWu The x3 nyobwe Paris ÚwÚ and true >_< Womeo uWu dead. 
:33 She wakes; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> entweated her come fowth 
xDD And UwU beaw ÚwÚ this ^.^ wowk of heaven with >_> patience; 
OwO But xDD then :3 a noise uWu did scare ;;w;; me from x3 the ;;w;; tomb, 
xDD And uWu she, ^w^ too desperate, ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO go with uWu me, 
But, >_< as >w< it seems, uWu did x3 viowence on hewsewf. 
All ÚwÚ this UwU I knyow, ÚwÚ and to x3 the ^.^ mawwiage 
:3 Hew nyuwse >_> is OwO pwivy; ÚwÚ and >_> if ^.^ aught uWu in ÚwÚ this 
^.^ Miscawwied ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ fauwt, wet x3 my ;;w;; owd >w< wife 
^w^ Be sacrific'd, x3 some >_> houw >w< befowe :33 his time, 
uWu Unto x3 the uWu wigouw of ^w^ sevewest law. 
UwU Pwince. We still uWu have ÚwÚ knyown uWu thee fow :3 a >w< howy man. 
:3 Whewe's Romeo's man? >_> What ^.^ can ^.^ he >_> say uWu in :3 this? 
>_> Baw. UwU I ^.^ bwought x3 my >_< mastew nyews of ;;w;; Juwiet's ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And xDD then uWu in x3 post ^.^ he ^-^ came from >_< Mantua 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this same pwace, to ÚwÚ this same uWu monyument. 
This >_> wettew ^.^ he early bid ;;w;; me UwU give :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, 
xDD And threat'ned ;;w;; me with UwU death, x3 going uWu in x3 the OwO vauwt, 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ depawted nyot ÚwÚ and left ^.^ him :33 thewe. 
UwU Pwince. Give ;;w;; me x3 the >_> wettew. UwU I xDD wiww wook on :3 it. 
Whewe >_> is x3 the ;;w;; County's page :3 that >_> wais'd x3 the watch? 
Siwwah, >_> what UwU made x3 youw >_< mastew uWu in ÚwÚ this :3 pwace? 
UwU Boy. >w< He ^-^ came with fwowews to strew :33 his >_> wady's >w< gwave; 
xDD And bid ;;w;; me stand awoof, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I ^.^ did. 
^-^ Anyon x3 comes one with >w< wight to ^w^ ope x3 the UwU tomb; 
xDD And by-and-by x3 my >_< mastew >w< dwew on him; 
xDD And xDD then UwU I wan OwO away to caww x3 the :33 watch. 
UwU Pwince. This >_> wettew xDD doth >_< make ÚwÚ good x3 the >_< fwiaw's wowds, 
^-^ Theiw course of xDD wuv, x3 the UwU tidings of her ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And OwO hewe ^.^ he >_< wwites :3 that ^.^ he uWu did UwU buy :3 a x3 poison 
Of :3 a poor ;;w;; pothecawy, ÚwÚ and UwU thewewithaw 
>_< Came to ÚwÚ this >_< vauwt to >_> die, ÚwÚ and >_< wie with Juliet. 
Whewe be these enyemies? >_< Capuwet, :3 Montage, 
xDD See >_> what :3 a scourge >_> is laid ;;w;; upon x3 youw hate, 
:33 That heaven ÚwÚ finds means to OwO kiww x3 youw joys with love! 
xDD And I, fow winking uWu at UwU you, :3 discowds :3 too, 
:3 Have wost :3 a ;;w;; bwace of uWu kinsmen. All OwO awe UwU punyish'd. 
uWu Cap. x3 O ÚwÚ bwothew >_< Montague, UwU give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. 
This >_> is x3 my ^w^ daughtew's x3 jointuwe, fow nyo ^.^ mowe 
UwU Can UwU I >_> demand. 
Mon. OwO But UwU I ^.^ can UwU give uWu thee mowe; 
For UwU I xDD wiww >w< waise her Statue uWu in puwe ^.^ gowd, 
:33 That whiwes Vewonya ^.^ by :3 that xDD nyame >_> is ^-^ knyown, 
>_> Thewe UwU shaww nyo xDD figuwe uWu at xDD such wate be uWu set 
;;w;; As :3 that of true ÚwÚ and faithfuw Juliet. 
uWu Cap. ;;w;; As rich UwU shaww Romeo's ^.^ by :33 his >_> wady's lie- 
OwO Poow sacrifices of UwU ouw ;;w;; enmity! 
UwU Pwince. ^-^ A gwooming uWu peace ÚwÚ this mownying with >w< it ^-^ bwings. 
uWu The sun fow sorrow xDD wiww nyot x3 show :33 his >_> head. 
Go hence, to uWu have ^.^ mowe tawk of these >_> sad >_> things; 
;;w;; Some UwU shaww be >_> pawdon'd, ÚwÚ and x3 some punyished; 
For >_< nyevew UwU was :3 a ^-^ stowy of ^.^ mowe woe 
Than ÚwÚ this of Juwiet ÚwÚ and her ^-^ Womeo. 
Exeunt uWu omnyes. 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 

1594 





^-^ THE :3 TAMING ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE SHREW 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

Persons uWu in x3 the :33 Induction 
^-^ A >w< WOWD 
CHRISTOPHER OwO SWY, :3 a ^.^ tinkew 
>_< HOSTESS 
^.^ PAGE 
PWAYEWS 
:33 HUNTSMEN 
^-^ SEWVANTS 

BAPTISTA ^.^ MINyOWA, :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of >_> Padua 
>_< VINCENTIO, :3 a >_> Mewchant of Pisa 
OwO WUCENTIO, >_< son to Vincentio, uWu in wuv with Bianca 
>_< PETWUCHIO, :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of Verona, :3 a suitor to ÚwÚ Kathewinya 

:33 Suitows to Bianca 
GREMIO 
^w^ HOWTENSIO 

Servants to ^-^ Wucentio 
xDD TWANyIO 
BIONDEWWO 

Servants to Petwuchio 
GRUMIO 
xDD CUWTIS 

^-^ A OwO PEDANT 

>_< Daughtews to Baptista 
KATHEWINyA, x3 the :33 shwew 
^w^ BIANCA 

^-^ A >_< WIDOW 

Tailor, >_< Habewdashew, ÚwÚ and Servants :33 attending on Baptista ÚwÚ and 
Petwuchio 

SCENE: 
xDD Padua, ÚwÚ and UwU PETWUCHIO'S ;;w;; house uWu in x3 the countwy 

>w< SC_1 
:33 INDUCTION. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^.^ Befowe >w< an uWu awehouse on :3 a heath 

Entew >_< HOSTESS ÚwÚ and SLY 

x3 SWY. I'll uWu pheeze UwU you, uWu in ÚwÚ faith. 
HOSTESS. ^-^ A :33 paiw of uWu stocks, xDD you UwU wogue! 
x3 SWY. Y'awe :3 a baggage; x3 the Swys OwO awe nyo >_< wogues. Wook uWu in x3 the 
ÚwÚ chwonyicwes: ^.^ we ^-^ came uWu in with Richard Conquewow. >_< Thewefowe, paucas 
:3 pawwabwis; wet x3 the wowwd xDD swide. ^.^ Sessa! 
HOSTESS. >_> You xDD wiww nyot x3 pay fow x3 the glasses xDD you uWu have burst? 
x3 SWY. :3 Nyo, nyot :3 a uWu denyiew. Go UwU by, Saint >w< Jewonyimy, OwO go to >w< thy UwU cowd x3 bed 
ÚwÚ and wawm thee. 
HOSTESS. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my ÚwÚ wemedy; UwU I ^w^ must OwO go :3 fetch x3 the ^.^ thiwd-bowough. 
uWu Exit 
x3 SWY. Third, ow uWu fouwth, ow :3 fifth bowough, I'll answew ^.^ him ^.^ by law. 
I'll nyot :3 budge >w< an x3 inch, ^.^ boy; wet ^.^ him come, ÚwÚ and >w< kindwy. 
^.^ [Fawws asweep] 

uWu Wind ^.^ howns. Entew :3 a >w< WOWD from OwO bunting, with :33 his twain 

WOWD. :33 Huntsman, UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, xDD tendew weww x3 my x3 hounds; 
;;w;; Bwach ;;w;; Mewwiman, x3 the poor cur, >_> is xDD emboss'd; 
xDD And coupwe xDD Cwowdew with x3 the ;;w;; deep-mouth'd ^-^ bwach. 
x3 Saw'st xDD thou >_> nyot, ^-^ boy, >w< how :3 Siwvew UwU made >w< it ÚwÚ good 
At x3 the ^-^ hedge xDD cownyew, uWu in x3 the :3 cowdest xDD fauwt? 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot wose x3 the dog fow ÚwÚ twenty >_> pound. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ HUNTSMAN. Why, Bewman >_> is >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as xDD he, x3 my wowd; 
>w< He cried ;;w;; upon >w< it uWu at x3 the merest woss, 
xDD And twice ^w^ to-day pick'd x3 out x3 the duwwest ^.^ scent; 
Twust uWu me, UwU I OwO take ^.^ him fow x3 the xDD bettew :33 dog. 
WOWD. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a foow; >_> if ^.^ Echo :3 wewe >_< as >_< fweet, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> esteem ^.^ him ^.^ wowth :3 a ^.^ dozen xDD such. 
OwO But UwU sup them weww, ÚwÚ and wook >w< unto them aww; 
>_< To-mowwow UwU I intend to OwO hunt ;;w;; again. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ HUNTSMAN. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
WOWD. x3 What's hewe? x3 Onye >_< dead, ow :3 dwunk? 
:3 See, xDD doth ^.^ he breathe? 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ HUNTSMAN. >w< He ^w^ bweathes, x3 my OwO wowd. ^.^ Wewe ^.^ he nyot x3 wawm'd with ale, 
This :3 wewe :3 a x3 bed >_> but UwU cowd to :33 sweep UwU so soundly. 
WOWD. x3 O monstwous ^.^ beast, >w< how ^.^ wike :3 a UwU swinye ^.^ he xDD wies! 
>_> Gwim UwU death, >w< how fouw ÚwÚ and woathsome >_> is ^.^ thinye image! 
uWu Siws, UwU I xDD wiww x3 pwactise on ÚwÚ this ^w^ dwunken man. 
>_> What think UwU you, >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe ;;w;; convey'd to ^.^ bed, 
OwO Wwapp'd uWu in x3 sweet cwothes, rings put ;;w;; upon :33 his ^-^ fingews, 
^-^ A UwU most delicious :33 banquet ^.^ by :33 his ^.^ bed, 
xDD And >_< bwave ^.^ attendants nyeaw ^.^ him when ^.^ he wakes, 
Wouwd nyot x3 the beggar xDD then x3 fowget :33 himsewf? 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ HUNTSMAN. :3 Bewieve uWu me, uWu wowd, UwU I think ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot UwU choose. 
^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ HUNTSMAN. ^.^ It ^.^ wouwd xDD seem ;;w;; stwange >w< unto ^.^ him when ^.^ he xDD wak'd. 
WOWD. Even >_< as :3 a >_> fwatt'wing dweam ow :33 wowthwess OwO fancy. 
UwU Then OwO take ^.^ him up, ÚwÚ and manage weww x3 the OwO jest: 
xDD Cawwy ^.^ him gently to x3 my >_> faiwest chamber, 
xDD And ^w^ hang >w< it ;;w;; wound with aww x3 my >_< wanton pictures; 
^.^ Bawm :33 his fouw >_> head uWu in wawm distiwwed ^.^ watews, 
xDD And buwn x3 sweet uWu wood to >_< make x3 the ;;w;; wodging sweet; 
Procure ;;w;; me uWu music ready when ^.^ he wakes, 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a dulcet ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ heavenwy >w< sound; 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ he chance to :3 speak, be ready stwaight, 
xDD And with :3 a wow >_> submissive ^w^ wevewence 
x3 Say x3 'What >_> is >w< it x3 youw honour xDD wiww command?' 
Let one >_< attend ^.^ him with :3 a :33 siwvew basin 
Full of rose-water ÚwÚ and ^-^ bestwew'd with >_> fwowews; 
ÚwÚ Anyothew UwU beaw x3 the ewew, x3 the thiwd :3 a diaper, 
xDD And >_> say 'Wiww't uWu pwease x3 youw OwO wowdship :3 coow x3 youw hands?' 
;;w;; Some one be ready with :3 a x3 costwy ^.^ suit, 
xDD And ^w^ ask ^.^ him >_> what apparel ^.^ he xDD wiww ÚwÚ weaw; 
ÚwÚ Anyothew tell ^.^ him of :33 his >_< hounds ÚwÚ and horse, 
xDD And :3 that :33 his uWu wady mourns uWu at :33 his xDD disease; 
xDD Pewsuade ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ he hath :33 been lunatic, 
^.^ And, when ^.^ he ;;w;; says ^.^ he ;;w;; is, >_> say :3 that ^.^ he ^-^ dweams, 
For ^.^ he >_> is >_< nyothing >_> but :3 a ^-^ mighty OwO wowd. 
This UwU do, ÚwÚ and UwU do >w< it >w< kindwy, ^-^ gentwe ^-^ siws; 
^.^ It xDD wiww be >w< pastime passing ÚwÚ excewwent, 
;;w;; If >w< it be husbanded with OwO modesty. 
uWu FIWST ÚwÚ HUNTSMAN. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I :33 wawwant xDD you ^.^ we xDD wiww :33 pway UwU ouw ÚwÚ pawt 
;;w;; As ^.^ he UwU shaww think ^.^ by UwU ouw true diligence 
>w< He >_> is nyo less than >_> what ^.^ we >_> say ^.^ he >w< is. 
WOWD. ^.^ Take ^.^ him x3 up gently, ÚwÚ and to x3 bed with him; 
xDD And >_< each one to :33 his ^.^ office when ^.^ he wakes. 
xDD [SWY >_> is cawwied OwO out. ^-^ A ÚwÚ twumpet ^w^ sounds] 
Siwwah, OwO go >_> see >_> what ÚwÚ twumpet UwU 'tis :3 that >w< sounds- 
uWu Exit SEWVANT 
ÚwÚ Bewike x3 some x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that >_< means, 
Travelling x3 some jouwnyey, to wepose ^.^ him hewe. 

^.^ We-entew :3 a ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 

How >_< nyow! who >_> is :33 it? 
SEWVANT. ;;w;; An't uWu pwease x3 youw honyouw, >_< pwayews 
:33 That offer OwO sewvice to x3 youw wowdship. 
WOWD. x3 Bid them come ÚwÚ nyeaw. 

Entew PWAYEWS 

>_> Nyow, fewwows, xDD you OwO awe x3 wewcome. 
PWAYEWS. We >_> thank x3 youw honyouw. 
WOWD. Do xDD you intend to xDD stay with ;;w;; me :3 to-nyight? 
^-^ PWAYEW. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 youw OwO wowdship to xDD accept UwU ouw duty. 
WOWD. With aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. This fewwow UwU I remember 
Since >_> once ^.^ he pway'd :3 a farmer's eldest son; 
>_< 'Twas :3 whewe xDD you woo'd x3 the :33 gentwewoman UwU so well. 
UwU I uWu have fowgot x3 youw UwU nyame; but, x3 suwe, :3 that ÚwÚ pawt 
Was uWu aptwy :3 fitted ÚwÚ and nyatuwawwy perform'd. 
^-^ PWAYEW. UwU I think uWu 'twas ÚwÚ Soto :3 that x3 youw honour means. 
WOWD. 'Tis xDD vewy true; xDD thou :33 didst >w< it excellent. 
xDD Weww, xDD you OwO awe come to ;;w;; me uWu in ^w^ happy time, 
uWu The rather fow UwU I uWu have x3 some spowt uWu in uWu hand 
^-^ Whewein x3 youw x3 cunnying ^.^ can xDD assist ;;w;; me :33 much. 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a ;;w;; wowd xDD wiww hear xDD you :33 pway to-nyight; 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ doubtfuw of x3 youw :33 modesties, 
Lest, ^w^ uvw-eying of :33 his >w< odd behaviour, 
For yet :33 his honour >_< nyevew heard :3 a ^.^ pway, 
>_> You bweak x3 into x3 some ^.^ mewwy passion 
xDD And UwU so ^-^ offend him; fow UwU I tell UwU you, sirs, 
;;w;; If xDD you >_> shouwd :33 smiwe, ^.^ he gwows ;;w;; impatient. 
^-^ PWAYEW. Fear >_> nyot, x3 my wowd; ^.^ we ^.^ can ^.^ contain ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ he x3 the >_> vewiest ^.^ antic uWu in x3 the wowwd. 
WOWD. ^w^ Go, sirrah, OwO take them to x3 the UwU buttewy, 
xDD And UwU give them xDD fwiendwy wewcome every onye; 
Let them ^.^ want >_< nyothing :3 that x3 my ;;w;; house affowds. 
uWu Exit one with x3 the PWAYEWS 
Siwwah, OwO go xDD you to uWu Bawthowomew x3 my page, 
xDD And >_> see ^.^ him dwess'd uWu in aww ^w^ suits ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; wady; 
:33 That :33 donye, ÚwÚ conduct ^.^ him to x3 the OwO dwunkawd's chamber, 
xDD And caww ^.^ him ^.^ 'madam,' UwU do ^.^ him OwO obeisance. 
Teww ^.^ him from me- >_< as ^.^ he xDD wiww x3 win x3 my ;;w;; wuv- 
>w< He UwU beaw >_< himsewf with ^.^ honyouwabwe xDD action, 
>w< Such >_< as ^.^ he hath :33 obsewv'd uWu in x3 nyobwe ^.^ wadies 
uWu Unto uWu theiw wowds, ^.^ by them uWu accompwished; 
>w< Such >_> duty to x3 the drunkard wet ^.^ him UwU do, 
With soft wow >_> tongue ÚwÚ and ^-^ wowwy couwtesy, 
xDD And >_> say x3 'What :3 is't x3 youw honour xDD wiww >_> command, 
^-^ Whewein x3 youw uWu wady ÚwÚ and x3 youw humble >w< wife 
^-^ May x3 show her >_> duty ÚwÚ and >_< make ÚwÚ knyown her >_< wuv?' 
xDD And xDD then with uWu kind >_> embwacements, >_< tempting OwO kisses, 
xDD And with ^w^ decwinying >_> head x3 into :33 his x3 bosom, 
x3 Bid ^.^ him x3 shed ^-^ teaws, >_< as ^.^ being overjoyed 
;;w;; To >_> see her x3 nyobwe ;;w;; wowd :33 westow'd to :33 heawth, 
Who fow ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ seven years hath esteemed ^.^ him 
No xDD bettew than :3 a poor ÚwÚ and woathsome x3 beggaw. 
xDD And >_> if x3 the ;;w;; boy uWu have nyot :3 a xDD woman's ^w^ gift 
;;w;; To xDD wain :3 a shower of :3 commanded ^-^ teaws, 
^-^ An :3 onyion xDD wiww UwU do weww fow xDD such :3 a xDD shift, 
>_< Which, uWu in :3 a napkin ^.^ being ^-^ cwose >_< convey'd, 
Shall uWu in ;;w;; despite enforce :3 a :3 watewy :33 eye. 
xDD See ÚwÚ this x3 dispatch'd with aww x3 the ^.^ haste xDD thou >_> canst; 
^-^ Anyon I'll UwU give uWu thee ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ instwuctions. uWu Exit :3 a ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 
UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the ;;w;; boy xDD wiww weww usuwp x3 the gwace, 
:33 Voice, gait, ÚwÚ and xDD action, of :3 a uWu gentwewoman; 
UwU I ^-^ wong to hear ^.^ him caww x3 the drunkard ^w^ 'husband'; 
xDD And >w< how x3 my ;;w;; men xDD wiww xDD stay x3 themsewves from :33 waughtew 
x3 When ;;w;; they UwU do UwU homage to ÚwÚ this :33 simpwe >_< peasant. 
I'll uWu in to counsel OwO them; haply x3 my x3 pwesence 
^-^ May weww ^-^ abate x3 the x3 uvw-mewwy >w< spween, 
>_< Which ^-^ othewwise ^.^ wouwd gwow x3 into extremes. Exeunt 

uWu SC_2 
>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A x3 bedchambew uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ WOWD'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ÚwÚ awoft OwO SWY, with ATTENDANTS; x3 some with ^w^ appawew, basin 
ÚwÚ and ewew, ÚwÚ and othew appuwtenyances; ÚwÚ and >w< WOWD 

x3 SWY. For >_> God's ^w^ sake, :3 a >_> pot of UwU smaww x3 awe. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. Will't uWu pwease x3 youw OwO wowdship ÚwÚ dwink :3 a >w< cup of ^w^ sack? 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. Will't uWu pwease x3 youw honour >_> taste of these consewves? 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. >_> What >_> waiment xDD wiww x3 youw honour ^-^ weaw >w< to-day? 
x3 SWY. UwU I ^w^ am >_< Chwistophewo :3 Swy; caww nyot ;;w;; me 'honour' nor 'wowdship.' UwU I 
^w^ nye'ew drank ^-^ sack uWu in x3 my :33 wife; ÚwÚ and >_> if xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me xDD any >w< consewves, 
UwU give ;;w;; me consewves of >_> beef. Nye'ew ^w^ ask ;;w;; me >_> what >_> waiment I'll OwO weaw, 
fow UwU I uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe doubwets than backs, nyo ^.^ mowe ;;w;; stockings than 
^.^ wegs, nor nyo ^.^ mowe xDD shoes than OwO feet- x3 nyay, ÚwÚ sometime ^.^ mowe ;;w;; feet than 
shoes, ow xDD such xDD shoes >_< as x3 my OwO toes wook ^w^ thwough x3 the uvwweathew. 
WOWD. uWu Heaven xDD cease ÚwÚ this idle humouw uWu in x3 youw ^-^ honyouw! 
>_< O, :3 that :3 a ^-^ mighty x3 man of xDD such descent, 
Of xDD such UwU possessions, ÚwÚ and UwU so xDD high esteem, 
Should be >w< infused with UwU so fouw :3 a :33 spiwit! 
x3 SWY. What, ^.^ wouwd xDD you >_< make ;;w;; me uWu mad? ^w^ Am nyot UwU I Chwistophew >_> Swy, ;;w;; owd 
x3 Swy's >_< son of ÚwÚ Buwton >_< Heath; ^.^ by birth :3 a pedlar, ^.^ by education :3 a 
cardmaker, ^.^ by transmutation :3 a >_> beaw-hewd, ÚwÚ and nyow ^.^ by xDD pwesent 
pwofession :3 a >_< tinkew? ;;w;; Ask UwU Mawian ^-^ Hacket, x3 the :33 fat ale-wife of 
>_< Wincot, >_> if ^.^ she ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me x3 nyot; >_> if ^.^ she >_> say UwU I ^w^ am nyot ^.^ fouwteen uWu pence on 
x3 the ÚwÚ scowe fow sheer ale, ÚwÚ scowe ;;w;; me x3 up fow x3 the >w< wying'st x3 knyave uWu in 
Chwistendom. What! UwU I ^w^ am nyot >w< bestwaught. ^.^ [Taking :3 a >_> pot of awe] 
^.^ Hewe's- 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. >_< O, ÚwÚ this >w< it >_> is :3 that x3 makes x3 youw uWu wady OwO mouwn! 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. >_< O, ÚwÚ this >_> is >w< it :3 that x3 makes x3 youw :3 sewvants ;;w;; dwoop! 
WOWD. OwO Hence x3 comes >w< it :3 that x3 youw >w< kindwed shuns x3 youw house, 
;;w;; As beaten >w< hence ^.^ by x3 youw ;;w;; stwange ^.^ wunyacy. 
x3 O x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, ^.^ bethink uWu thee of >w< thy birth! 
;;w;; Caww ^.^ home >w< thy UwU ancient >_< thoughts from banishment, 
xDD And banyish >w< hence these abject ^-^ wowwy dweams. 
Wook >w< how >w< thy :3 sewvants UwU do >_< attend on ÚwÚ thee, 
x3 Each uWu in :33 his ^.^ office ready uWu at >w< thy x3 beck. 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou uWu have music? :33 Hawk! Apollo pways, ^w^ [Music] 
xDD And ÚwÚ twenty caged >_< nyightingawes UwU do ;;w;; sing. 
:33 Ow wiwt xDD thou ^w^ sweep? ^-^ We'ww uWu have uWu thee to :3 a UwU couch 
Softew ÚwÚ and ^w^ sweetew than x3 the x3 wustfuw x3 bed 
On OwO puwpose trimm'd x3 up fow Semiramis. 
x3 Say xDD thou wiwt wawk: ^.^ we xDD wiww ^w^ bestwew x3 the :33 gwound. 
:33 Ow wiwt xDD thou ;;w;; wide? x3 Thy :3 howses UwU shaww be ^.^ twapp'd, 
^-^ Theiw :33 hawnyess >_< studded aww with gowd ÚwÚ and peaww. 
uWu Dost xDD thou wuv >_< hawking? ^.^ Thou x3 hast hawks xDD wiww UwU soaw 
Abuv x3 the mownying lark. :33 Ow wiwt xDD thou OwO hunt? 
x3 Thy >_< hounds UwU shaww >_< make x3 the welkin answew them 
xDD And :3 fetch UwU shaww uWu echoes from x3 the OwO howwow ;;w;; eawth. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. x3 Say xDD thou wiwt UwU couwse; >w< thy >w< gweyhounds OwO awe >_< as UwU swift 
;;w;; As >w< bweathed ;;w;; stags; :33 ay, :33 fweetew than x3 the woe. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. uWu Dost xDD thou wuv pictures? We xDD wiww :3 fetch uWu thee 
^w^ stwaight 
Adonyis painted ^.^ by :3 a wunnying ÚwÚ bwook, 
xDD And uWu Cythewea aww uWu in :33 sedges :3 hid, 
>_< Which xDD seem to move ÚwÚ and >_< wanton with her UwU bweath 
Even >_< as x3 the ^.^ waving :33 sedges :33 pway ÚwÚ wi' x3 th' ^.^ wind. 
WOWD. ^-^ We'ww x3 show uWu thee wo >_< as ^.^ she UwU was :3 a >_< maid 
xDD And >w< how ^.^ she UwU was beguiwed ÚwÚ and suwpwis'd, 
;;w;; As lively painted >_< as x3 the ^.^ deed UwU was ^-^ donye. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. :33 Ow x3 Daphnye woaming ^w^ thwough :3 a >_> thowny wood, 
Scratching her ^.^ wegs, :3 that one UwU shaww >_< sweaw ^.^ she ^.^ bweeds 
xDD And uWu at :3 that ^.^ sight UwU shaww >_> sad Apollo >_> weep, 
^w^ So ÚwÚ wowkmanwy x3 the :3 bwood ÚwÚ and tears OwO awe UwU dwawn. 
WOWD. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and >_< nyothing >_> but :3 a OwO wowd. 
^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 a uWu wady uWu faw ^.^ mowe >_> beautifuw 
Than xDD any OwO woman uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< wanying age. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. ^.^ And, >w< tiww x3 the tears :3 that ^.^ she hath x3 shed fow uWu thee 
Wike envious xDD fwoods o'er-run her lovely >w< face, 
:33 She UwU was x3 the >_> faiwest creature uWu in x3 the wowwd; 
xDD And yet ^.^ she >_> is :33 infewiow to none. 
x3 SWY. ^w^ Am UwU I :3 a ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and uWu have UwU I xDD such :3 a x3 wady? 
:33 Ow UwU do UwU I ;;w;; dweam? :33 Ow uWu have UwU I ^.^ dweam'd >w< tiww ^.^ nyow? 
UwU I UwU do nyot sweep: UwU I see, UwU I heaw, UwU I speak; 
UwU I smell x3 sweet >_> savouws, ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 feew soft xDD things. 
>_> Upon x3 my :3 wife, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ;;w;; wowd :33 indeed, 
xDD And nyot :3 a tinker, nor Chwistophew UwU Swy. 
xDD Weww, ;;w;; bwing UwU ouw uWu wady ÚwÚ hithew to UwU ouw sight; 
xDD And >_> once OwO again, :3 a >_> pot ^.^ o' x3 th' xDD smawwest x3 awe. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. Will't uWu pwease x3 youw ÚwÚ Mightinyess to >_< wash x3 youw hands? 
>_< O, >w< how ^.^ we joy to >_> see x3 youw wit restor'd! 
>_< O, :3 that >_> once ^.^ mowe xDD you UwU knyew >_> but >_> what xDD you UwU awe! 
;;w;; These >_< fifteen years xDD you uWu have :33 been uWu in :3 a dream; 
:3 Ow, when xDD you wak'd, UwU so >_< wak'd >_< as >_> if xDD you uWu swept. 
x3 SWY. ;;w;; These >_< fifteen yeaws! ^.^ by x3 my fay, :3 a xDD goodwy nyap. 
OwO But uWu did UwU I >_< nyevew speak of aww :3 that >w< time? 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. >_< O, :3 yes, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but xDD vewy idle words; 
For ^w^ though xDD you uWu way OwO hewe uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD goodwy chamber, 
ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ wouwd xDD you >_> say OwO ye :3 wewe beaten x3 out of door; 
xDD And waiw ;;w;; upon x3 the hostess of x3 the house, 
xDD And >_> say xDD you ^.^ wouwd xDD pwesent her uWu at x3 the weet, 
>_< Because ^.^ she ^.^ bwought stone jugs ÚwÚ and nyo OwO seaw'd >_< quawts. 
Sometimes xDD you ^.^ wouwd caww x3 out fow uWu Cicewy Hacket. 
x3 SWY. Ay, x3 the xDD woman's >_< maid of x3 the ÚwÚ house. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. Why, ^w^ siw, xDD you ^.^ knyow nyo ;;w;; house nor nyo xDD such ;;w;; maid, 
x3 Nyow nyo xDD such ;;w;; men >_< as xDD you uWu have uWu weckon'd up, 
;;w;; As ^w^ Stephen >_> Swy, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd John Naps of xDD Gweece, 
xDD And Petew Turph, ÚwÚ and Henwy Pimpewnyeww; 
xDD And ÚwÚ twenty ^.^ mowe xDD such nyames ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men >_< as OwO these, 
>_< Which >_< nyevew uWu wewe, nor nyo x3 man OwO evew x3 saw. 
x3 SWY. >_> Nyow, Lord be ^-^ thanked fow x3 my ÚwÚ good amends! 
uWu AWW. ÚwÚ Amen. 

Entew x3 the ^.^ PAGE >_< as :3 a UwU wady, with OwO ATTENDANTS 

x3 SWY. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee; xDD thou shalt nyot wose ^.^ by :3 it. 
xDD PAGE. How fawes x3 my x3 nyobwe xDD wowd? 
x3 SWY. OwO Mawwy, UwU I ^-^ fawe well; fow OwO hewe >_> is cheer enyough. 
Whewe >_> is x3 my :33 wife? 
xDD PAGE. Here, x3 nyobwe wowd; >_> what >_> is >w< thy xDD wiww with OwO hew? 
x3 SWY. ^w^ Awe xDD you x3 my :3 wife, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot caww ;;w;; me OwO husband? 
OwO My ;;w;; men >_> shouwd caww ;;w;; me 'lord'; UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw x3 goodman. 
xDD PAGE. OwO My :33 husband ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and xDD husband; 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw >w< wife uWu in aww ^w^ obedience. 
x3 SWY. UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it well. >_> What ^w^ must UwU I caww OwO hew? 
WOWD. Madam. 
x3 SWY. Aw'ce UwU madam, ow UwU Joan :33 madam? 
WOWD. uWu Madam, ÚwÚ and >_< nyothing ewse; UwU so wowds caww wadies. 
x3 SWY. >w< Madam :3 wife, ;;w;; they >_> say :3 that UwU I uWu have ^.^ dweam'd 
xDD And slept :33 abuv x3 some >_< fifteen xDD yeaw ow more. 
xDD PAGE. Ay, ÚwÚ and x3 the time ;;w;; seems ;;w;; thiwty >w< unto uWu me, 
uWu Being aww ÚwÚ this time ÚwÚ abandon'd from x3 youw :3 bed. 
x3 SWY. 'Tis :33 much. ÚwÚ Sewvants, OwO weave ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and her >_< awonye. 
Exeunt ^-^ SEWVANTS 
uWu Madam, OwO undwess UwU you, ÚwÚ and come nyow to :3 bed. 
xDD PAGE. uWu Thwice x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, wet ;;w;; me entweat of xDD you 
;;w;; To UwU pawdon ;;w;; me yet fow :3 a >w< nyight ow ^.^ two; 
:3 Ow, >_> if nyot >_> so, ÚwÚ untiw x3 the sun be set. 
For x3 youw x3 physicians uWu have >w< expwesswy ;;w;; chawg'd, 
^w^ In peril to :3 incuw x3 youw xDD fowmew mawady, 
:33 That UwU I >_> shouwd yet absent ;;w;; me from x3 youw :3 bed. 
UwU I UwU hope ÚwÚ this reason >w< stands fow x3 my uWu excuse. 
x3 SWY. Ay, >w< it >w< stands UwU so :3 that UwU I OwO may hardly ^.^ tawwy UwU so wong. OwO But UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
be loath to faww x3 into x3 my x3 dweams ;;w;; again. UwU I xDD wiww >_< thewefowe ^.^ tawwy uWu in 
;;w;; despite of x3 the >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and x3 the blood. 

Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Youw x3 honyouw's pwayews, hearing x3 youw OwO amendment, 
^w^ Awe come to :33 pway :3 a >_> pweasant :3 comedy; 
For UwU so x3 youw ^.^ doctows howd >w< it xDD vewy ^w^ meet, 
x3 Seeing ^w^ too much >_> sadnyess hath x3 congeaw'd x3 youw bwood, 
xDD And ^-^ mewanchowy >_> is x3 the nyuwse of fwenzy. 
Therefore ;;w;; they xDD thought >w< it ÚwÚ good xDD you hear :3 a :33 pway 
xDD And fwame x3 youw ^-^ mind to >_< miwth ÚwÚ and :33 mewwiment, 
>_< Which bars :3 a thousand :33 hawms ÚwÚ and >_> wengthens life. 
x3 SWY. OwO Mawwy, UwU I :33 wiww; wet them :33 pway :3 it. Is nyot :3 a >w< comonty :3 a 
>_< Chwistmas :3 gambowd ow :3 a tumbling-trick? 
xDD PAGE. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, >w< it >_> is ^.^ mowe pweasing ;;w;; stuff. 
x3 SWY. What, :33 househowd stuff? 
xDD PAGE. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a uWu kind of history. 
x3 SWY. xDD Weww, we'll ;;w;; see't. ^.^ Come, xDD madam :3 wife, sit ^.^ by x3 my x3 side ÚwÚ and wet 
x3 the wowwd xDD swip;-we UwU shaww ^w^ nye'ew be ÚwÚ youngew. 
^w^ [They sit down] 

^-^ A :33 fwouwish of trumpets :3 annyounces x3 the :33 pway 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^w^ Padua. ^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew >_< WUCENTIO ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 man xDD TWANyIO 

:3 WUCENTIO. >w< Twanyio, xDD since fow x3 the great ^.^ desiwe UwU I xDD had 
;;w;; To >_> see >w< faiw xDD Padua, OwO nyuwsewy of UwU awts, 
UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ awwiv'd fow :33 fwuitfuw ;;w;; Wombawdy, 
uWu The >_> pweasant >_< gawden of great Italy, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 my father's wuv ÚwÚ and OwO weave ^w^ am awm'd 
With :33 his ÚwÚ good xDD wiww ÚwÚ and >w< thy ÚwÚ good xDD company, 
OwO My trusty xDD sewvant weww >w< appwov'd uWu in all, 
:3 Hewe wet >_> us ^w^ bweathe, ÚwÚ and haply institute 
^-^ A course of :33 weawnying ÚwÚ and >w< ingenyious >w< studies. 
Pisa, uWu wenyownyed fow :3 gwave uWu citizens, 
Gave ;;w;; me x3 my ^.^ being ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< fathew ÚwÚ fiwst, 
^-^ A merchant of great UwU twaffic ^w^ thwough x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
Vincentio, come of x3 the uWu Bentivowii; 
^.^ Vincentio's x3 son, ^.^ bwought x3 up uWu in >_< Fwowence, 
^.^ It UwU shaww :33 become to serve aww hopes x3 conceiv'd, 
;;w;; To deck :33 his :3 fowtunye with :33 his virtuous >_> deeds. 
xDD And OwO thewefowe, >w< Twanyio, fow x3 the time UwU I ^-^ study, 
x3 Viwtue ÚwÚ and :3 that ÚwÚ pawt of x3 phiwosophy 
Will UwU I apply :3 that ÚwÚ tweats of happinyess 
^-^ By viwtue x3 speciawwy to be achiev'd. 
Teww ;;w;; me >w< thy xDD mind; fow UwU I uWu have Pisa left 
xDD And ^w^ am to >_> Padua come >_< as ^.^ he :3 that >w< weaves 
^-^ A shallow plash to ^.^ pwunge ^.^ him uWu in x3 the >w< deep, 
xDD And with satiety >_> seeks to quench :33 his :3 thiwst. 
^-^ TWANyIO. ÚwÚ Mi pewdonyato, ^-^ gentwe >_< mastew minye; 
UwU I ^w^ am uWu in aww affected >_< as :33 youwsewf; 
:33 Gwad :3 that xDD you OwO thus >w< continyue x3 youw wesowve 
;;w;; To uWu suck x3 the ÚwÚ sweets of x3 sweet phiwosophy. 
>w< Onwy, ÚwÚ good ^.^ mastew, OwO whiwe ^.^ we UwU do >_< admiwe 
This viwtue ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this :3 mowaw discipwinye, 
:3 Wet's be nyo >_< Stoics nor nyo uWu stocks, UwU I pray, 
:33 Ow UwU so devote to Aristotle's ÚwÚ checks 
;;w;; As >_< Ovid be >w< an ÚwÚ outcast quite ÚwÚ abjuw'd. 
>_> Bawk logic with >_< acquaintance :3 that xDD you have, 
xDD And x3 pwactise >_> whetowic uWu in x3 youw ^w^ common talk; 
Music ÚwÚ and poesy use to ^w^ quicken uWu you; 
uWu The >_> mathematics ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ metaphysics, 
Fall to them >_< as xDD you find x3 youw stomach sewves OwO you. 
No pwofit gwows :3 whewe >_> is nyo :3 pweasuwe ;;w;; ta'en; 
^w^ In ^-^ bwief, ^w^ siw, ^-^ study >_> what xDD you UwU most ;;w;; affect. 
:3 WUCENTIO. ;;w;; Gwamewcies, >w< Twanyio, weww dost xDD thou ;;w;; advise. 
If, Biondello, xDD thou OwO wewt come xDD ashowe, 
We couwd uWu at >_> once put >_> us uWu in readiness, 
xDD And OwO take :3 a ;;w;; wodging ;;w;; fit to entertain 
>w< Such ^w^ fwiends >_< as time uWu in >_> Padua UwU shaww >w< beget. 

Entew BAPTISTA with :33 his >w< two ^w^ daughtews, :3 KATHEWINyA 
ÚwÚ and >_< BIANCA; ;;w;; GWEMIO, :3 a pantawoon; HOWTENSIO, 
suitor to xDD BIANCA. >_< WUCENTIO ÚwÚ and xDD TWANyIO stand ^.^ by 

OwO But xDD stay awhile; >_> what >_< company >_> is :3 this? 
^-^ TWANyIO. ^-^ Mastew, x3 some x3 show to wewcome >_> us to xDD town. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, :33 impowtunye ;;w;; me nyo fawthew, 
For >w< how UwU I x3 fiwmwy ^w^ am :3 wesowv'd xDD you know; 
:33 That ;;w;; is, nyot to bestow x3 my xDD youngest daughter 
^.^ Befowe UwU I uWu have :3 a :33 husband fow x3 the x3 ewdew. 
;;w;; If xDD eithew of xDD you both wuv :3 Kathewinya, 
>_< Because UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you weww ÚwÚ and wuv xDD you weww, 
Weave UwU shaww xDD you uWu have to court her uWu at x3 youw pleasure. 
^-^ GWEMIO. ;;w;; To xDD cawt her rather. >_> She's ^w^ too OwO wough fow x3 me. 
There, thewe, xDD Howtensio, xDD wiww xDD you xDD any :33 wife? 
KATHEWINyA. :33 [To ^.^ BAPTISTA] UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, >_> is >w< it x3 youw xDD wiww 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a ÚwÚ stawe of ;;w;; me amongst these xDD mates? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. ^-^ Mates, x3 maid! How >_> mean xDD you ^-^ that? No >_> mates fow UwU you, 
OwO Unwess xDD you :3 wewe of gentler, milder mould. 
KATHEWINyA. xDD I' ^w^ faith, ^w^ siw, xDD you UwU shaww >_< nyevew >_< nyeed to x3 feaw; 
x3 Iwis >w< it >_> is nyot :3 hawfway to her heawt; 
OwO But >_> if >w< it uWu wewe, doubt nyot her :3 cawe >_> shouwd be 
;;w;; To ^w^ comb x3 youw >_> nyoddwe with :3 a three-legg'd x3 stoow, 
xDD And OwO paint x3 youw >w< face, ÚwÚ and use xDD you ^.^ wike :3 a xDD foow. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Fwom aww xDD such devils, ÚwÚ good Lord ÚwÚ dewivew ÚwÚ us! 
^-^ GWEMIO. xDD And uWu me, :3 too, ÚwÚ good :3 Wowd! 
^-^ TWANyIO. xDD Husht, x3 mastew! >_> Hewe's x3 some ÚwÚ good >w< pastime toward; 
:33 That OwO wench >_> is x3 stawk ^-^ mad ow ;;w;; wondewfuw uWu fwowawd. 
:3 WUCENTIO. OwO But uWu in x3 the ;;w;; othew's :3 siwence UwU do UwU I >_> see 
Maid's >_< miwd >_> behaviouw ÚwÚ and sobriety. 
uWu Peace, Twanyio! 
^-^ TWANyIO. Weww said, mastew; ÚwÚ mum! ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ gaze x3 youw x3 fiww. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, :3 that UwU I OwO may >w< soon >_< make ÚwÚ good 
>_> What UwU I uWu have ;;w;; said- ^-^ Bianca, get xDD you UwU in; 
xDD And wet >w< it nyot UwU dispwease ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good ^-^ Bianca, 
For UwU I xDD wiww wuv uWu thee ^w^ nye'ew x3 the UwU wess, x3 my ^w^ giww. 
KATHEWINyA. ^-^ A OwO pwetty uWu peat! >w< it >_> is best 
>_> Put finger uWu in x3 the >_< eye, >w< an ^.^ she UwU knyew :33 why. 
xDD BIANCA. x3 Sistew, :3 content xDD you uWu in x3 my >_< discontent. 
UwU Siw, to x3 youw :3 pweasuwe x3 humbwy UwU I ^-^ subscwibe; 
OwO My uWu books ÚwÚ and instwuments UwU shaww be x3 my xDD company, 
On them to look, ÚwÚ and x3 pwactise ^.^ by :3 mysewf. 
:3 WUCENTIO. Hawk, >w< Twanyio, xDD thou uWu mayst hear uWu Minyewva ^w^ speak! 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. :33 Signyiow OwO Baptista, xDD wiww xDD you be UwU so >w< stwange? 
Sowwy ^w^ am UwU I :3 that UwU ouw ÚwÚ good xDD wiww UwU effects 
Bianca's ÚwÚ gwief. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Why xDD wiww xDD you ^.^ mew her up, 
:33 Signyiow OwO Baptista, fow ÚwÚ this >_< fiend of >_> heww, 
xDD And >_< make her UwU beaw x3 the >_< penyance of her ^.^ tongue? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, :3 content ye; UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ wesowv'd. 
Go x3 in, ÚwÚ Bianca. uWu Exit ^w^ BIANCA 
xDD And fow UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ she taketh UwU most delight 
^w^ In ^.^ music, >_< instwuments, ÚwÚ and poetwy, 
Schoowmastews xDD wiww UwU I >_< keep within x3 my ;;w;; house 
Fit to instwuct her >_< youth. ;;w;; If UwU you, xDD Howtensio, 
:3 Ow, :33 Signyiow uWu Gwemio, UwU you, ^.^ knyow xDD any xDD such, 
Pwefew them hithew; fow to x3 cunnying ;;w;; men 
UwU I xDD wiww be xDD vewy ;;w;; kind, ÚwÚ and xDD wibewaw 
;;w;; To >_< minye UwU own x3 chiwdwen uWu in ÚwÚ good bwinging-up; 
xDD And >_> so, farewell. :3 Kathewinya, xDD you OwO may >_< stay; 
For UwU I uWu have ^.^ mowe to commune with ÚwÚ Bianca. uWu Exit 
KATHEWINyA. Why, ÚwÚ and UwU I :33 twust UwU I OwO may OwO go :3 too, OwO may UwU I ^w^ nyot? 
What! UwU shaww UwU I be uWu appointed houws, >_< as x3 though, >w< bewike, 
UwU I UwU knyew nyot >_> what to OwO take ÚwÚ and >_> what to weave? uWu Ha! uWu Exit 
^-^ GWEMIO. >_> You OwO may OwO go to x3 the >_> deviw's UwU dam; x3 youw ^.^ gifts OwO awe UwU so ÚwÚ good 
hewe's >_< nyonye xDD wiww howd OwO you. OwO Thewe! Wuv >_> is nyot UwU so ^.^ gweat, 
xDD Howtensio, >_> but ^.^ we OwO may ^w^ bwow UwU ouw >_< nyaiws together, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fast >w< it ^.^ faiwwy 
out; UwU ouw cake's dough on both :3 sides. Farewell; ^w^ yet, fow x3 the wuv 
UwU I UwU beaw x3 my x3 sweet ^-^ Bianca, >_> if UwU I ^.^ can ^.^ by xDD any means >w< wight on :3 a ;;w;; fit x3 man 
to >_< teach her :3 that wherein ^.^ she dewights, UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ wish ^.^ him to her 
:33 fathew. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. xDD SO Will I, :33 Signyiow Gremio; >_> but :3 a word, UwU I pway. ;;w;; Though 
x3 the ÚwÚ nyatuwe of UwU ouw ^-^ quawwew yet >_< nyevew brook'd parle, ^.^ knyow now, ;;w;; upon 
x3 advice, >w< it x3 toucheth >_> us :3 both- :3 that ^.^ we OwO may yet again uWu have x3 access to 
UwU ouw >w< faiw ^-^ mistwess, ÚwÚ and be ^w^ happy xDD wivaws uWu in Bianca's ;;w;; wuv- to 
labour ÚwÚ and ^w^ effect one ^.^ thing speciawwy. 
^-^ GWEMIO. x3 What's :3 that, UwU I pway? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, to get :3 a :33 husband fow her sister. 
^-^ GWEMIO. ^-^ A OwO husband? :3 a deviw. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. UwU I >_> say :3 a husband. 
^-^ GWEMIO. UwU I >_> say :3 a deviw. x3 Think'st UwU thou, xDD Howtensio, ^w^ though her >w< fathew 
be xDD vewy rich, xDD any x3 man >_> is UwU so xDD vewy :3 a >w< foow to be mawwied to :33 heww? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Tush, >_< Gwemio! ;;w;; Though >w< it pass x3 youw uWu patience ÚwÚ and >_< minye to 
OwO enduwe her ÚwÚ woud >w< awawums, >w< why, ^w^ man, there be ÚwÚ good ^w^ fewwows uWu in x3 the 
^w^ wowwd, >w< an :3 a x3 man couwd >w< wight on ÚwÚ them, ^.^ wouwd OwO take her with aww 
fauwts, ÚwÚ and monyey enyough. 
^-^ GWEMIO. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell; >_> but UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief OwO take her ^.^ dowwy with ÚwÚ this 
^w^ condition: to be whipp'd uWu at x3 the xDD high OwO cwoss every xDD mownying. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Faith, >_< as xDD you say, there's UwU smaww UwU choice uWu in wotten 
^w^ appwes. But, >_< come; xDD since ÚwÚ this ^-^ baw uWu in law x3 makes >_> us OwO fwiends, >w< it 
UwU shaww be UwU so uWu faw fowth xDD fwiendwy ÚwÚ maintain'd >w< tiww ^.^ by ;;w;; hewping 
^-^ Baptista's eldest daughter to :3 a :33 husband ^.^ we uWu set :33 his xDD youngest fwee 
fow :3 a ^.^ husband, ÚwÚ and xDD then uWu have uWu to't xDD afwesh. ÚwÚ Sweet >_< Bianca! Happy x3 man 
be :33 his >_> dowe! >w< He :3 that wuns UwU fastest :33 gets x3 the wing. How >_> say UwU you, 
:33 Signyiow >w< Gwemio? 
^-^ GWEMIO. UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ agweed; ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had UwU given ^.^ him x3 the best UwU howse uWu in 
>_> Padua to x3 begin :33 his :33 wooing :3 that ^.^ wouwd thowoughwy ^.^ woo hew, x3 wed hew, 
ÚwÚ and x3 bed hew, ÚwÚ and x3 wid x3 the ;;w;; house of >_> hew! :3 Come :3 on. 
Exeunt GREMIO ÚwÚ and ^w^ HOWTENSIO 
^-^ TWANyIO. UwU I pray, ^w^ siw, tell uWu me, >_> is >w< it OwO possibwe 
:33 That wuv >_> shouwd of :3 a ^.^ sudden OwO take xDD such ;;w;; howd? 
:3 WUCENTIO. x3 O >w< Twanyio, >w< tiww UwU I >_> found >w< it to be ^-^ twue, 
UwU I >_< nyevew xDD thought >w< it OwO possibwe ow >_> wikewy. 
OwO But uWu see! OwO whiwe idly UwU I :33 stood ^w^ wooking ;;w;; on, 
UwU I >_> found x3 the ^w^ effect of wuv uWu in xDD idwenyess; 
xDD And nyow uWu in >_< pwainnyess UwU do x3 confess to ÚwÚ thee, 
:33 That awt to ;;w;; me >_< as secret ÚwÚ and >_< as uWu deaw 
;;w;; As Annya to x3 the xDD Queen of x3 Cawthage ^.^ was- 
>w< Twanyio, UwU I ^-^ buwn, UwU I UwU pinye, UwU I xDD pewish, >w< Twanyio, 
;;w;; If UwU I ;;w;; achieve nyot ÚwÚ this xDD young :3 modest ^w^ giww. 
Counsel uWu me, >w< Twanyio, fow UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou >_> canst; 
;;w;; Assist uWu me, >w< Twanyio, fow UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou wilt. 
^-^ TWANyIO. ^-^ Mastew, >w< it >_> is nyo time to UwU chide xDD you >_< nyow; 
OwO Affection >_> is nyot :33 wated from x3 the heawt; 
;;w;; If wuv uWu have touch'd UwU you, >_< nyought remains >_> but so: 
^w^ 'Wedime te OwO captum ÚwÚ quam ^-^ queas >_< minyimo.' 
:3 WUCENTIO. ;;w;; Gwamewcies, wad. Go fowwawd; ÚwÚ this :3 contents; 
uWu The xDD west xDD wiww comfort, fow >w< thy counsel's UwU sound. 
^-^ TWANyIO. ^-^ Mastew, xDD you >_> wook'd UwU so wongwy on x3 the ^-^ maid. 
:3 Pewhaps xDD you uWu mawk'd nyot UwU what's x3 the ÚwÚ pith of all. 
:3 WUCENTIO. >_< O, :3 yes, UwU I saw x3 sweet beauty uWu in her >w< face, 
>w< Such >_< as x3 the daughter of Agenor :33 had, 
:33 That UwU made great Juv to humble ^.^ him to her uWu hand, 
x3 When with :33 his knees ^.^ he >w< kiss'd x3 the Cretan strand. 
^-^ TWANyIO. ^.^ Saw xDD you nyo UwU mowe? >_< Mawk'd xDD you nyot >w< how her :3 sistew 
:3 Began to scold ÚwÚ and >w< waise x3 up xDD such :3 a x3 stowm 
:33 That >w< mowtaw OwO eaws ^w^ might hardly OwO enduwe x3 the >_> din? 
:3 WUCENTIO. >w< Twanyio, UwU I saw her ÚwÚ cowaw lips to x3 muv, 
xDD And with her UwU bweath ^.^ she uWu did ^.^ pewfume x3 the air; 
^w^ Sacwed ÚwÚ and x3 sweet UwU was aww UwU I saw uWu in her. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Nyay, xDD then UwU 'tis time to stir ^.^ him from :33 his trance. 
UwU I pray, >w< awake, sir. ;;w;; If xDD you wuv x3 the ;;w;; maid, 
Bend >_< thoughts ÚwÚ and :33 wits to ;;w;; achieve her. ^-^ Thus >w< it :33 stands: 
:3 Hew :33 ewdew :3 sistew >_> is UwU so curst ÚwÚ and shrewd 
^.^ That, >w< tiww x3 the >w< fathew x3 wid :33 his ^.^ hands of hew, 
^-^ Mastew, x3 youw wuv ^w^ must ^w^ wive :3 a >_< maid uWu at ÚwÚ home; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe >_> has ^.^ he x3 cwosewy :33 mew'd her up, 
>_< Because ^.^ she xDD wiww nyot be ^-^ annyoy'd with ÚwÚ suitows. 
:3 WUCENTIO. xDD Ah, >w< Twanyio, >_> what :3 a UwU cwuew father's OwO he! 
OwO But awt xDD thou nyot :33 advis'd ^.^ he >_> took x3 some :3 cawe 
;;w;; To get her x3 cunnying schoolmasters to instwuct OwO hew? 
^-^ TWANyIO. Ay, marry, ^w^ am I, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and nyow UwU 'tis plotted. 
:3 WUCENTIO. UwU I uWu have :33 it, >_< Twanyio. 
^-^ TWANyIO. ^-^ Mastew, fow x3 my uWu hand, 
UwU Both UwU ouw x3 inventions :3 meet ÚwÚ and x3 jump uWu in onye. 
:3 WUCENTIO. Teww ;;w;; me ^.^ thinye fiwst. 
^-^ TWANyIO. >_> You xDD wiww be schoowmastew, 
xDD And undewtake x3 the teaching of x3 the >_> maid- 
>w< That's x3 youw uWu device. 
:3 WUCENTIO. ^.^ It >w< is. ^-^ May >w< it be done? 
^-^ TWANyIO. ÚwÚ Nyot possibwe; fow who UwU shaww UwU beaw x3 youw ÚwÚ pawt 
xDD And be uWu in >_> Padua OwO hewe ^.^ Vincentio's son; 
^w^ Keep ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and ply :33 his ^-^ book, wewcome :33 his OwO fwiends, 
Visit :33 his ÚwÚ countwymen, ÚwÚ and :33 banquet them? 
:3 WUCENTIO. >_< Basta, :3 content ÚwÚ thee, fow UwU I uWu have >w< it ^w^ fuww. 
We uWu have nyot yet :33 been :3 seen uWu in xDD any house, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ can ^.^ we be ^w^ distinguish'd ^.^ by UwU ouw faces 
For x3 man ow master. UwU Then >w< it xDD fowwows thus: 
^.^ Thou shalt be ^.^ mastew, >w< Twanyio, uWu in x3 my >_< stead, 
^w^ Keep ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and ^.^ powt ÚwÚ and x3 sewvants, >_< as UwU I >_< shouwd; 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 some othew ^-^ be- x3 some ^w^ Fwowentinye, 
;;w;; Some :3 Nyeapowitan, ow >w< meanyew x3 man of >w< Pisa. 
'Tis xDD hatch'd, ÚwÚ and UwU shaww be :3 so. >w< Twanyio, uWu at >_> once 
;;w;; Uncase ÚwÚ thee; OwO take x3 my cowouw'd ^w^ hat ÚwÚ and OwO cwoak. 
x3 When Biondello ;;w;; comes, ^.^ he waits on ÚwÚ thee; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww >_> chawm ^.^ him xDD fiwst to >_< keep :33 his :33 tongue. 
^-^ TWANyIO. ^w^ So xDD had xDD you ^w^ nyeed. ^w^ [They :3 exchange habits] 
^w^ In ^-^ bwief, ^w^ siw, sith >w< it x3 youw :3 pweasuwe ;;w;; is, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am tied to be obedient- 
For UwU so x3 youw >w< fathew :3 chawg'd ;;w;; me uWu at UwU ouw pawting: 
:3 'Be OwO sewviceabwe to x3 my OwO son' quoth xDD he, 
Awthough UwU I think uWu 'twas uWu in anyothew xDD sense- 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 content to be ;;w;; Wucentio, 
>_< Because UwU so weww UwU I wuv xDD Wucentio. 
:3 WUCENTIO. >w< Twanyio, be UwU so uWu because ^-^ Wucentio loves; 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me be :3 a ;;w;; swave t' ;;w;; achieve :3 that >_< maid 
>_< Whose ^.^ sudden ^.^ sight hath :33 thwaww'd x3 my wounded :33 eye. 

Entew BIONDELLO. 

:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the wogue. Siwwah, :3 whewe uWu have xDD you been? 
BIONDELLO. Whewe uWu have UwU I >_< been! Nyay, >w< how >_< nyow! :3 whewe OwO awe you? 
^-^ Mastew, >_> has x3 my fewwow ^-^ Twanyio :3 stow'n x3 youw uWu cwothes? 
:33 Ow xDD you :3 stow'n ^w^ his? ow ^-^ both? ÚwÚ Pway, UwU what's x3 the nyews? 
:3 WUCENTIO. Siwwah, come hithew; UwU 'tis nyo time to ^.^ jest, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe fwame x3 youw ^w^ mannyews to x3 the uWu time. 
uWu Youw fewwow ^-^ Twanyio UwU hewe, to :3 save x3 my :3 wife, 
Puts x3 my apparel ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 count'nyance ;;w;; on, 
xDD And UwU I fow x3 my escape uWu have put on ^w^ his; 
For uWu in :3 a ^-^ quawwew xDD since UwU I ^-^ came ashore 
UwU I kill'd :3 a ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and feaw UwU I UwU was x3 descwied. 
uWu Wait xDD you on :3 him, UwU I :3 chawge UwU you, >_< as >_> becomes, 
While UwU I >_< make uWu way from >w< hence to :3 save x3 my life. 
>_> You understand me? 
BIONDELLO. I, UwU siw? Nye'ew :3 a whit. 
:3 WUCENTIO. xDD And nyot :3 a jot of ^-^ Twanyio uWu in x3 youw :33 mouth: 
^-^ Twanyio >_> is chang'd x3 into xDD Wucentio. 
BIONDELLO. uWu The xDD bettew fow him; ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe UwU so ;;w;; too! 
^-^ TWANyIO. ^w^ So couwd I, ^w^ faith, ^-^ boy, to uWu have x3 the :3 nyext ÚwÚ wish after, 
:33 That ^-^ Wucentio ÚwÚ indeed xDD had ^-^ Baptista's xDD youngest >w< daughtew. 
But, sirrah, nyot fow x3 my ÚwÚ sake >_> but x3 youw >_< mastew's, UwU I ;;w;; advise 
>_> You use x3 youw ^w^ mannyews discweetwy uWu in aww uWu kind of companies. 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ awonye, >w< why, xDD then UwU I ^w^ am >_< Twanyio; 
OwO But uWu in aww pwaces >_> ewse x3 youw >_< mastew xDD Wucentio. 
:3 WUCENTIO. >w< Twanyio, >_> wet's ÚwÚ go. 
x3 Onye ^.^ thing ^.^ mowe >_< wests, :3 that >w< thysewf ^.^ execute- 
;;w;; To >_< make one ^-^ among these ÚwÚ wooews. ;;w;; If xDD thou ^w^ ask ;;w;; me why- 
:33 Sufficeth, x3 my weasons OwO awe both ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and weighty. Exeunt 

uWu The ÚwÚ Pwesentews :33 abuv speak 

uWu FIWST SEWVANT. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you >w< nyod; xDD you UwU do nyot ^-^ mind x3 the play. 
x3 SWY. Yes, ^.^ by Saint >_> Annye UwU do ^.^ I. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good >w< mattew, :33 suwewy; x3 comes there 
xDD any ^.^ mowe of :33 it? 
xDD PAGE. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU 'tis >_> but xDD begun. 
x3 SWY. 'Tis :3 a xDD vewy :3 excewwent ^.^ piece of work, xDD madam uWu wady 
Wouwd >w< 'twewe uWu donye! ^w^ [They sit ÚwÚ and ^.^ mawk] 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^w^ Padua. ^.^ Befowe HORTENSIO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew xDD PETWUCHIO ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 man GRUMIO 

>_< PETWUCHIO. Verona, fow :3 a OwO whiwe UwU I OwO take x3 my weave, 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 my ^w^ fwiends uWu in Padua; >_> but of aww 
OwO My best beloved ÚwÚ and appwuvd fwiend, 
^.^ Howtensio; ÚwÚ and UwU I x3 twow ÚwÚ this >_> is :33 his ÚwÚ house. 
Here, xDD siwwah Gwumio, knyock, UwU I :3 say. 
GRUMIO. Knyock, sir! ;;w;; Whom >_> shouwd UwU I x3 knyock? 
Is there xDD any x3 man >_> has UwU webus'd x3 youw wowship? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. uWu Viwwain, UwU I say, :3 knyock ;;w;; me OwO hewe soundly. 
GRUMIO. Knock xDD you UwU hewe, UwU siw? Why, ^w^ siw, >_> what ^w^ am I, ^w^ siw, :3 that UwU I 
>_> shouwd :3 knyock xDD you UwU hewe, UwU siw? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. uWu Viwwain, UwU I say, :3 knyock ;;w;; me uWu at ÚwÚ this >_< gate, 
xDD And wap ;;w;; me weww, ow I'll :3 knyock x3 youw knave's pate. 
GRUMIO. OwO My >_< mastew >_> is grown UwU quawwewsome. UwU I >_> shouwd :3 knyock xDD you ÚwÚ fiwst, 
xDD And xDD then UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ aftew who x3 comes ^.^ by x3 the x3 wowst. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Will >w< it nyot :3 be? 
Faith, sirrah, >w< an you'ww nyot :3 knyock I'll OwO wing uWu it; 
I'll >_> twy >w< how xDD you ^.^ can >_> sow-fa, ÚwÚ and ^.^ sing :3 it. 
[He ÚwÚ wwings ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 the x3 eaws] 
GRUMIO. Hewp, mastews, :33 hewp! OwO My >_< mastew >_> is >_> mad. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Now :3 knyock when UwU I bid UwU you, xDD siwwah :33 viwwain! 

Entew ^w^ HOWTENSIO 

^.^ HOWTENSIO. How >_< nyow! UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? OwO My ;;w;; owd :33 fwiend Gwumio ÚwÚ and x3 my 
ÚwÚ good :33 fwiend UwU Petwuchio! How UwU do xDD you aww uWu at xDD Vewonya? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :33 Signyiow xDD Howtensio, come xDD you to ÚwÚ pawt x3 the fray? 
'Con tutto x3 iw ^w^ cuowe >w< ben trovato' OwO may UwU I :3 say. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. ÚwÚ Awwa ^w^ nyostwa uWu casa >w< ben venuto, 
xDD Mowto ÚwÚ honyowato >_> signyow UwU mio xDD Petwuchio. 
^w^ Wise, Gwumio, OwO wise; ^.^ we xDD wiww ÚwÚ compound ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ quawwew. 
GRUMIO. Nyay, UwU 'tis nyo >w< mattew, ^w^ siw, >_> what ^.^ he 'weges uWu in ÚwÚ Watin. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this 
be nyot :3 a ÚwÚ wawfuw cause fow ;;w;; me to OwO weave :33 his service- wook UwU you, :33 siw: 
^.^ he bid ;;w;; me :3 knyock ^.^ him ÚwÚ and wap ^.^ him OwO soundwy, sir. xDD Weww, UwU was >w< it ;;w;; fit 
fow :3 a xDD sewvant to use :33 his >_< mastew so; x3 being, :3 pewhaps, fow ^.^ aught UwU I 
see, >w< two ÚwÚ and UwU thiwty, :3 a xDD pip out? 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ wouwd to ^w^ God UwU I xDD had weww knyock'd uWu at ÚwÚ fiwst, 
UwU Then xDD had nyot Gwumio come ^.^ by x3 the x3 wowst. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^-^ A senseless :33 viwwain! ^-^ Good xDD Howtensio, 
UwU I ;;w;; bade x3 the wascaw :3 knyock ;;w;; upon x3 youw >_< gate, 
xDD And couwd nyot get ^.^ him fow x3 my >_< heawt to UwU do :3 it. 
GRUMIO. Knock uWu at x3 the ^-^ gate? x3 O OwO heavens! ^w^ Spake xDD you nyot these wowds 
plain: 'Siwwah :3 knyock ;;w;; me UwU hewe, wap ;;w;; me UwU hewe, :3 knyock ;;w;; me weww, ÚwÚ and 
:3 knyock ;;w;; me ÚwÚ soundwy'? xDD And come xDD you nyow with >_< 'knyocking uWu at x3 the xDD gate'? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Siwwah, be >w< gonye, ow tawk >_> nyot, UwU I ;;w;; advise OwO you. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. >_< Petwuchio, >_> patience; UwU I ^w^ am Gwumio's pwedge; 
Why, xDD this's :3 a x3 heavy chance 'twixt ^.^ him ÚwÚ and UwU you, 
uWu Youw ^w^ ancient, >_< twusty, >_> pweasant xDD sewvant Gwumio. 
xDD And tell ;;w;; me now, x3 sweet fwiend, >_> what ^w^ happy gawe 
;;w;; Bwows xDD you to >_> Padua OwO hewe from ;;w;; owd xDD Vewonya? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >w< Such wind >_< as scattews xDD young ;;w;; men ^w^ thwough x3 the wowwd 
;;w;; To >_> seek uWu theiw fowtunyes ^-^ fawthew than uWu at ^.^ home, 
Whewe UwU smaww UwU expewience grows. OwO But uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ few, 
:33 Signyiow xDD Howtensio, OwO thus >w< it >w< stands with ;;w;; me: 
Antonio, x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, >_> is OwO deceas'd, 
xDD And UwU I uWu have thwust mysewf x3 into ÚwÚ this x3 maze, 
Haply to ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and x3 thwive >_< as best UwU I ;;w;; may; 
>_> Cwowns uWu in x3 my >_< puwse UwU I have, ÚwÚ and >_> goods uWu at ^.^ home, 
xDD And UwU so ^w^ am come ^.^ abwoad to >_> see x3 the wowwd. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. >_< Petwuchio, UwU shaww UwU I xDD then come roundly to uWu thee 
xDD And ÚwÚ wish uWu thee to :3 a shrewd :3 iww-favouw'd :33 wife? 
>_> Thou'dst >_> thank ;;w;; me >_> but :3 a xDD wittwe fow x3 my counsew, 
xDD And yet I'll promise uWu thee ^.^ she UwU shaww be rich, 
xDD And xDD vewy wich; >_> but th'art ^w^ too much x3 my fwiend, 
xDD And I'll nyot ÚwÚ wish uWu thee to her. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :33 Signyiow xDD Howtensio, 'twixt xDD such ^w^ fwiends >_< as ^.^ we 
uWu Few wowds suffice; ÚwÚ and OwO thewefowe, >_> if xDD thou ^.^ knyow 
x3 Onye rich enough to be Petwuchio's :3 wife, 
;;w;; As weawth >_> is buwden of x3 my :33 wooing xDD dance, 
^w^ Be ^.^ she >_< as fouw >_< as UwU was >_> Fwowentius' xDD wuv, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; owd >_< as ;;w;; Sibyw, ÚwÚ and >_< as curst ÚwÚ and shrewd 
;;w;; As Socrates' UwU Xanthippe ow :3 a >_> wowse- 
:33 She moves ;;w;; me >_> nyot, ow nyot wemuvs, uWu at least, 
ÚwÚ Affection's UwU edge uWu in uWu me, :3 wewe ^.^ she >_< as OwO wough 
;;w;; As OwO awe x3 the xDD swewwing ^.^ Adwiatic ;;w;; seas. 
UwU I come to ^w^ wive >w< it weawthiwy uWu in Padua; 
;;w;; If weawthiwy, xDD then happily uWu in ^w^ Padua. 
GRUMIO. Nyay, wook UwU you, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he uWu tewws xDD you :33 fwatwy >_> what :33 his ^-^ mind >w< is. 
Why, UwU give ^.^ him gowd enough ÚwÚ and marry ^.^ him to :3 a OwO puppet ow >w< an 
;;w;; agwet-baby, ow >w< an ;;w;; owd trot with ^w^ nye'ew :3 a ^.^ tooth uWu in her head, ^w^ though 
^.^ she >_> has >_< as UwU many ^-^ diseases >_< as >w< two ÚwÚ and :33 fifty :33 howses. Why, >_< nyothing 
x3 comes xDD amiss, UwU so monyey x3 comes uWu withaw. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. >_< Petwuchio, xDD since ^.^ we OwO awe stepp'd OwO thus uWu faw x3 in, 
UwU I xDD wiww >w< continyue :3 that UwU I xDD bwoach'd uWu in ;;w;; jest. 
UwU I ^-^ can, >_< Petwuchio, OwO hewp uWu thee to :3 a >w< wife 
With weawth UwU enyough, ÚwÚ and xDD young ÚwÚ and beauteous; 
Bwought x3 up >_< as best x3 becomes :3 a uWu gentwewoman; 
:3 Hew >w< onwy ^w^ fauwt, ÚwÚ and :3 that >_> is :33 fauwts UwU enyough, 
Is- :3 that ^.^ she >_> is intowewabwe >_< cuwst, 
xDD And shrewd ÚwÚ and ^.^ fwowawd UwU so ^w^ beyond aww UwU measuwe 
^.^ That, :3 wewe x3 my >w< state uWu faw >_> wowsew than >w< it ;;w;; is, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot x3 wed her fow :3 a >_< minye of ;;w;; gowd. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. xDD Howtensio, peace! xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st nyot ;;w;; gowd's x3 effect. 
Teww ;;w;; me her father's :33 nyame, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis >_< enyough; 
For UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ boawd her ^w^ though ^.^ she UwU chide >_< as ÚwÚ woud 
;;w;; As >_> thundew when x3 the :33 cwouds uWu in ^w^ autumn crack. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. :3 Hew >w< fathew >_> is Baptista Minola, 
^-^ An affabwe ÚwÚ and ^-^ couwteous gentleman; 
:3 Hew xDD nyame >_> is ÚwÚ Kathewinya Minola, 
Renown'd uWu in >_> Padua fow her scolding :33 tongue. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I ^.^ knyow her ÚwÚ fathew, ^w^ though UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< hew; 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU knyew x3 my x3 deceased >w< fathew well. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot sweep, xDD Howtensio, >w< tiww UwU I >_> see >w< hew; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe wet ;;w;; me be OwO thus bold with xDD you 
;;w;; To UwU give xDD you uvw uWu at ÚwÚ this xDD fiwst encountew, 
OwO Unwess xDD you xDD wiww ;;w;; accompany ;;w;; me xDD thithew. 
GRUMIO. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, wet ^.^ him OwO go OwO whiwe x3 the humouw >w< wasts. UwU O' x3 my 
word, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she UwU knyew ^.^ him >_< as weww >_< as UwU I UwU do, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd think scolding 
^.^ wouwd UwU do xDD wittwe ÚwÚ good ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. :33 She OwO may ^-^ pewhaps caww ^.^ him half :3 a 
ÚwÚ scowe knyaves ow :3 so. Why, ^w^ that's uWu nyothing; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he x3 begin ^w^ once, he'ww 
waiw uWu in :33 his wope-twicks. I'll tell xDD you x3 what, :33 siw: >w< an ^.^ she stand 
^.^ him >_> but :3 a UwU wittwe, ^.^ he xDD wiww ^-^ thwow :3 a xDD figuwe uWu in her >w< face, ÚwÚ and UwU so 
^w^ disfiguwe her with >w< it :3 that ^.^ she UwU shaww uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe eyes to >_> see 
withal than :3 a >_< cat. >_> You ^.^ knyow ^.^ him >_> nyot, sir. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. ;;w;; Tawwy, >_< Petwuchio, UwU I ^w^ must OwO go with ÚwÚ thee, 
For uWu in ^-^ Baptista's >_< keep x3 my treasure >w< is. 
>w< He hath x3 the jewel of x3 my >w< wife uWu in OwO howd, 
ÚwÚ His xDD youngest ^w^ daughtew, >_> beautifuw Bianca; 
xDD And her ÚwÚ withhowds from uWu me, ÚwÚ and othew >_> mowe, 
:33 Suitows to her ÚwÚ and xDD wivaws uWu in x3 my love; 
UwU Supposing >w< it :3 a ^.^ thing >_< impossibwe- 
For UwU those :33 defects UwU I uWu have >w< befowe rehears'd- 
:33 That OwO evew ÚwÚ Kathewinya xDD wiww be woo'd. 
Therefore ÚwÚ this order hath Baptista x3 ta'en, 
:33 That >_< nyonye UwU shaww uWu have x3 access >w< unto Bianca 
Tiww >_> Kathewinye x3 the curst uWu have ^w^ got :3 a husband. 
GRUMIO. >_> Kathewinye x3 the ;;w;; cuwst! 
^-^ A ;;w;; titwe fow :3 a >_< maid of aww titles x3 the x3 wowst. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Now UwU shaww x3 my :33 fwiend Petwuchio UwU do ;;w;; me gwace, 
xDD And offer ;;w;; me :33 disguis'd uWu in sober ^-^ wobes 
;;w;; To ;;w;; owd Baptista >_< as :3 a x3 schoowmastew 
Weww :3 seen uWu in ^.^ music, to instwuct Bianca; 
:33 That UwU so UwU I OwO may ^.^ by ÚwÚ this xDD device uWu at least 
:3 Have OwO weave ÚwÚ and leisure to >_< make wuv to hew, 
xDD And x3 unsuspected court her ^.^ by hewsewf. 

Entew GREMIO with >_< WUCENTIO disguised >_< as >_< CAMBIO 

GRUMIO. >_> Hewe's nyo >_> knyavewy! :3 See, to beguile x3 the ;;w;; owd >_< fowks, >w< how x3 the 
xDD young folks uWu way uWu theiw heads ;;w;; togethew! ^-^ Mastew, ^.^ mastew, wook about 
OwO you. Who xDD goes thewe, ^.^ ha? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. uWu Peace, Gwumio! ^.^ It >_> is x3 the wivaw of x3 my love. >_< Petwuchio, 
stand ^.^ by OwO awhiwe. 
GRUMIO. ^-^ A OwO pwopew stwipwing, ÚwÚ and >w< an amowous! 
^w^ [They stand aside] 
^-^ GWEMIO. >_< O, xDD vewy well; UwU I uWu have >w< pewus'd x3 the note. 
^.^ Hawk UwU you, siw; I'll uWu have them xDD vewy ^.^ faiwwy >_> bound- 
All uWu books of xDD wuv, >_> see :3 that uWu at xDD any xDD hand; 
xDD And >_> see xDD you ^w^ wead nyo othew lectures to her. 
>_> You understand me- uvw ÚwÚ and :3 beside 
:33 Signyiow ^-^ Baptista's uWu wibewawity, 
I'll mend >w< it with :3 a x3 wawgess. ^.^ Take x3 youw paper :3 too, 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me uWu have them xDD vewy weww perfum'd; 
For ^.^ she >_> is ^w^ sweetew than ^.^ pewfume itsewf 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ;;w;; they OwO go ;;w;; to. >_> What xDD wiww xDD you ^w^ wead to OwO hew? 
:3 WUCENTIO. ÚwÚ Whate'ew UwU I ^w^ wead to hew, I'll pwead fow xDD you 
;;w;; As fow x3 my OwO patwon, stand xDD you UwU so UwU assuw'd, 
;;w;; As x3 fiwmwy >_< as >_> youwsewf :3 wewe still uWu in pwace; 
Yea, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pewhaps with ^.^ mowe ^w^ successfuw wowds 
Than UwU you, ^w^ unwess xDD you :3 wewe :3 a ^-^ schowaw, sir. 
^-^ GWEMIO. x3 O ÚwÚ this ^w^ weawnying, >_> what :3 a ^.^ thing >w< it x3 is! 
GRUMIO. x3 O ÚwÚ this ^.^ woodcock, >_> what >w< an >w< ass >w< it x3 is! 
>_< PETWUCHIO. uWu Peace, siwwah! 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Gwumio, ÚwÚ mum! [Coming forward] 
^w^ God :3 save UwU you, :33 Signyiow >_< Gwemio! 
^-^ GWEMIO. xDD And xDD you OwO awe weww :3 met, :33 Signyiow >w< Howtensio. 
Twow xDD you :33 whithew UwU I ^w^ am xDD going? ;;w;; To Baptista UwU Minyowa. 
UwU I pwomis'd to ^.^ enquiwe uWu cawefuwwy 
About :3 a x3 schoowmastew fow x3 the >w< faiw Bianca; 
xDD And ^.^ by ÚwÚ good :3 fowtunye UwU I uWu have lighted weww 
On ÚwÚ this xDD young xDD man; fow :33 weawnying ÚwÚ and >_> behaviouw 
Fit fow her tuwn, weww ^w^ wead uWu in poetry 
xDD And othew books- ÚwÚ good onyes, UwU I :33 wawwant uWu ye. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. 'Tis well; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have >w< met :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman 
>_< Hath pwomis'd ;;w;; me to OwO hewp ;;w;; me to another, 
^-^ A OwO finye :33 musician to instwuct UwU ouw mistress; 
^w^ So UwU shaww UwU I nyo whit be x3 behind uWu in >_> duty 
;;w;; To >w< faiw ^-^ Bianca, UwU so beloved of x3 me. 
^-^ GWEMIO. >_< Bewuvd of me- ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 my >_< deeds UwU shaww ^.^ pwuv. 
GRUMIO. xDD And :3 that :33 his ;;w;; bags UwU shaww ^.^ pwuv. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. uWu Gwemio, UwU 'tis nyow nyo time to uWu vent UwU ouw love. 
OwO Wisten to uWu me, ÚwÚ and >_> if xDD you speak ;;w;; me >w< faiw 
I'll tell xDD you nyews uWu indiffewent ÚwÚ good fow either. 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman ÚwÚ whom ^.^ by chance UwU I :3 met, 
>_> Upon >_> agweement from >_> us to :33 his x3 wiking, 
Will undewtake to ^.^ woo curst uWu Kathewinye; 
Yea, ÚwÚ and to marry hew, >_> if her ^.^ dowwy ÚwÚ pwease. 
^-^ GWEMIO. ^w^ So said, UwU so :33 donye, >_> is well. 
xDD Howtensio, uWu have xDD you told ^.^ him aww her uWu fauwts? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ she >_> is >w< an :33 iwksome brawling scold; 
;;w;; If :3 that be all, mastews, UwU I hear nyo harm. 
^-^ GWEMIO. :3 Nyo, say'st ;;w;; me >_> so, >w< fwiend? >_> What :3 countwyman? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. x3 Bown uWu in Verona, ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ Antonyio's OwO son. 
OwO My >w< fathew >_< dead, x3 my :3 fowtunye ;;w;; wives fow OwO me; 
xDD And UwU I UwU do UwU hope ÚwÚ good OwO days ÚwÚ and ^-^ wong to ^-^ see. 
^-^ GWEMIO. x3 O UwU Siw, xDD such :3 a >w< wife with xDD such :3 a >w< wife :3 wewe >_< stwange! 
OwO But >_> if xDD you uWu have :3 a ^w^ stomach, uWu to't :3 a >_> God's UwU nyame; 
>_> You UwU shaww uWu have ;;w;; me >w< assisting xDD you uWu in all. 
OwO But xDD wiww xDD you ^.^ woo ÚwÚ this :33 wiwd-cat? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Will UwU I >_> wive? 
GRUMIO. Will ^.^ he ^.^ woo OwO hew? Ay, ow I'll ^w^ hang her. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why ^-^ came UwU I ÚwÚ hithew >_> but to :3 that xDD intent? 
^w^ Think xDD you :3 a xDD wittwe OwO din ^.^ can x3 daunt >_< minye ears? 
:3 Have UwU I nyot uWu in x3 my time heard wions >_< woaw? 
:3 Have UwU I nyot heard x3 the :33 sea, OwO puff'd x3 up with winds, 
Wage ^.^ wike >w< an angry boar chafed with ÚwÚ sweat? 
:3 Have UwU I nyot heard great owdnyance uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd, 
xDD And heaven's ^w^ awtiwwewy >_> thundew uWu in x3 the ;;w;; skies? 
:3 Have UwU I nyot uWu in :3 a ^-^ pitched ÚwÚ battwe heard 
xDD Woud ÚwÚ 'wawums, xDD nyeighing ;;w;; steeds, ÚwÚ and trumpets' cwang? 
xDD And UwU do xDD you tell ;;w;; me of :3 a xDD woman's ;;w;; tongue, 
:33 That ;;w;; gives nyot half UwU so great :3 a ^w^ bwow to hear 
;;w;; As xDD wiww :3 a chestnut uWu in :3 a fariner's fiwe? 
>w< Tush! ;;w;; tush! feaw >_< boys with bugs. 
GRUMIO. For ^.^ he OwO feaws none. 
^-^ GWEMIO. xDD Howtensio, ^.^ hawk: 
This ÚwÚ gentweman >_> is happily awwiv'd, 
OwO My ^-^ mind presumes, fow :33 his UwU own ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and >_> ouws. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. UwU I pwomis'd ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd be x3 contwibutows 
xDD And UwU beaw :33 his :3 chawge of ^.^ wooing, whatsoe'ew. 
^-^ GWEMIO. xDD And UwU so ^.^ we ;;w;; wiww- x3 pwovided :3 that ^.^ he x3 win her. 
GRUMIO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe >_< as >_< suwe of :3 a ÚwÚ good uWu dinnyew. 

Entew xDD TWANyIO, bravely >_> appawewwed >_< as OwO WUCENTIO, ÚwÚ and BIONDEWWO 

^-^ TWANyIO. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, ^w^ God :3 save you! ;;w;; If UwU I OwO may be >w< bowd, 
Teww uWu me, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, which >_> is x3 the weadiest uWu way 
;;w;; To x3 the ;;w;; house of :33 Signyiow Baptista Minyowa? 
BIONDELLO. >w< He :3 that >_> has x3 the >w< two >w< faiw xDD daughtews; :3 is't ^.^ he xDD you ^.^ mean? 
^-^ TWANyIO. Even xDD he, xDD Biondewwo. 
^-^ GWEMIO. ^.^ Hawk UwU you, ^w^ siw, xDD you >_> mean nyot her xDD to- 
^-^ TWANyIO. :3 Pewhaps ^.^ him ÚwÚ and hew, siw; >_> what uWu have xDD you to ^-^ do? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ÚwÚ Nyot her :3 that ^.^ chides, ^w^ siw, uWu at xDD any uWu hand, UwU I pway. 
^-^ TWANyIO. UwU I wuv nyo :3 chidews, sir. Biondello, >_> wet's xDD away. 
:3 WUCENTIO. :3 [Aside] Weww begun, >_< Twanyio. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. UwU Siw, :3 a ;;w;; wowd ere xDD you ÚwÚ go. 
^w^ Awe xDD you :3 a suitor to x3 the >_< maid xDD you tawk :33 of, >w< yea ow no? 
^-^ TWANyIO. xDD And >_> if UwU I be, ^w^ siw, >_> is >w< it xDD any x3 offence? 
^-^ GWEMIO. No; >_> if ^-^ without ^.^ mowe wowds xDD you xDD wiww get xDD you x3 hence. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Why, ^w^ siw, UwU I pray, OwO awe nyot x3 the ^w^ stweets >_< as fwee 
For ;;w;; me >_< as fow you? 
^-^ GWEMIO. OwO But UwU so >_> is nyot ^w^ she. 

^-^ TWANyIO. For >_> what weason, UwU I :33 beseech you? 
^-^ GWEMIO. For ÚwÚ this weason, >_> if you'ww knyow, 
:33 That ^w^ she's x3 the UwU choice wuv of :33 Signyiow ÚwÚ Gwemio. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. :33 That ^w^ she's x3 the OwO chosen of :33 Signyiow >w< Howtensio. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Softly, x3 my ;;w;; mastews! ;;w;; If xDD you be xDD gentwemen, 
Do ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this OwO wight- hear ;;w;; me with OwO patience. 
Baptista >_> is :3 a x3 nyobwe gentweman, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom x3 my >w< fathew >_> is nyot aww uWu unknyown, 
^.^ And, :3 wewe :33 his daughter fairer than ^.^ she ;;w;; is, 
:33 She OwO may ^.^ mowe ^-^ suitows have, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me fow onye. 
Faiw OwO Weda's daughter xDD had :3 a thousand wooews; 
UwU Then weww one ^.^ mowe OwO may >w< faiw Bianca uWu have; 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ she shaww: ^-^ Wucentio UwU shaww >_< make one, 
;;w;; Though Paris ^-^ came uWu in UwU hope to ^w^ speed >_< awonye. 
^-^ GWEMIO. What, ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman xDD wiww >w< out-tawk >_> us :33 aww! 
:3 WUCENTIO. UwU Siw, UwU give ^.^ him head; UwU I ^.^ knyow he'ww ^-^ pwuv :3 a UwU jade. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. xDD Howtensio, to >_> what >w< end OwO awe aww these xDD wowds? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. UwU Siw, wet ;;w;; me be UwU so bold >_< as ^w^ ask UwU you, 
Did xDD you yet OwO evew >_> see ^-^ Baptista's daughter? 
^-^ TWANyIO. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, >_> but hear UwU I UwU do :3 that ^.^ he hath ;;w;; two: 
uWu The one >_< as famous fow :3 a scolding >_> tongue 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the othew fow beauteous OwO modesty. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU Siw, ^w^ siw, x3 the fiwst's fow OwO me; wet her OwO go by. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Yea, OwO weave :3 that labour to great >_> Hewcuwes, 
xDD And wet >w< it be ^.^ mowe than >_> Awcides' twelve. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU Siw, understand xDD you ÚwÚ this of uWu me, uWu in sooth: 
uWu The xDD youngest ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ whom xDD you heawken for, 
:3 Hew >w< fathew keeps from aww x3 access of >_> suitows, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot promise her to xDD any x3 man 
Untiw x3 the :33 ewdew :3 sistew xDD fiwst be wed. 
uWu The :3 youngew xDD then >_> is >w< fwee, ÚwÚ and nyot befowe. 
^-^ TWANyIO. ;;w;; If >w< it be >_> so, ^w^ siw, :3 that xDD you OwO awe x3 the x3 man 
:3 Must OwO stead >_> us all, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me amongst x3 the rest; 
xDD And >_> if xDD you bweak x3 the ice, ÚwÚ and UwU do ÚwÚ this :33 feat, 
Achieve x3 the ^.^ ewdew, uWu set x3 the :3 youngew fwee 
For UwU ouw >_< access- x3 whose ÚwÚ hap UwU shaww be to uWu have her 
Will nyot UwU so graceless be to be ^.^ ingwate. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. UwU Siw, xDD you >_> say weww, ÚwÚ and weww xDD you UwU do uWu conceive; 
xDD And xDD since xDD you UwU do pwofess to be :3 a >_> suitow, 
>_> You ;;w;; must, >_< as ^.^ we UwU do, UwU gwatify ÚwÚ this gentweman, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we aww xDD west ÚwÚ genyewawwy beholding. 
^-^ TWANyIO. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU shaww nyot be ^-^ swack; uWu in xDD sign UwU wheweof, 
ÚwÚ Pwease OwO ye ^.^ we OwO may >_< contwive ÚwÚ this ;;w;; aftewnyoon, 
xDD And xDD quaff carouses to UwU ouw >_< mistwess' health; 
xDD And UwU do >_< as :33 advewsawies UwU do uWu in ^.^ waw- 
Stwive ^-^ mightiwy, >_> but eat ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dwink >_< as fwiends. 
GRUMIO, BIONDELLO. x3 O :3 excewwent ^-^ motion! Fewwows, >_> wet's be ;;w;; gonye. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. uWu The ^w^ motion's ÚwÚ good :33 indeed, ÚwÚ and be >w< it :3 so. 
>_< Petwuchio, UwU I UwU shaww be x3 youw >w< ben venuto. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT Iw. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^w^ Padua. >_> BAPTISTA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew :3 KATHEWINyA ÚwÚ and ^w^ BIANCA 

xDD BIANCA. ^-^ Good ^-^ sistew, wrong ;;w;; me >_> nyot, nor wrong yourself, 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a bondmaid ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; swave of me- 
:33 That UwU I uWu disdain; >_> but fow these othew :33 gawds, 
ÚwÚ Unbind x3 my ^.^ hands, I'll puww them x3 off myself, 
Yea, aww x3 my :33 waiment, to x3 my :33 petticoat; 
:33 Ow >_> what xDD you xDD wiww ÚwÚ command ;;w;; me xDD wiww UwU I UwU do, 
^w^ So weww UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my >_> duty to x3 my uWu ewdews. 
KATHEWINyA. Of aww >w< thy ^-^ suitows OwO hewe UwU I :3 chawge uWu thee tell 
;;w;; Whom xDD thou >_> wov'st >_> best. xDD See xDD thou dissembwe not. 
xDD BIANCA. :3 Bewieve uWu me, ^-^ sistew, of aww x3 the ;;w;; men ^.^ awive 
UwU I >_< nyevew yet beheld :3 that >_> speciaw OwO face 
>_< Which UwU I couwd ^w^ fancy ^.^ mowe than xDD any :3 othew. 
KATHEWINyA. Minion, xDD thou liest. ^-^ Is't nyot >_> Howtensio? 
xDD BIANCA. ;;w;; If xDD you affect :3 him, ^-^ sistew, OwO hewe UwU I >_< sweaw 
I'll pwead fow xDD you mysewf >_> but xDD you UwU shaww uWu have ^.^ him. 
KATHEWINyA. x3 O >w< then, >w< bewike, xDD you ^w^ fancy ^w^ wiches uWu mowe: 
>_> You xDD wiww uWu have xDD Gwemio to >_< keep xDD you >_< faiw. 
xDD BIANCA. Is >w< it fow ^.^ him xDD you UwU do :3 envy ;;w;; me so? 
Nyay, xDD then xDD you >_> jest; ÚwÚ and nyow UwU I weww >_> pewceive 
>_> You uWu have >_> but ^-^ jested with ;;w;; me aww ÚwÚ this >_> whiwe. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, :3 sistew ^.^ Kate, OwO untie x3 my ^w^ hands. 
KATHEWINyA. [Strikes :3 hew] ;;w;; If :3 that be ^.^ jest, xDD then >w< an x3 the xDD west UwU was :3 so. 

Entew BAPTISTA 

^-^ BAPTISTA. Why, >w< how now, ^-^ dame! OwO Whence gwows ÚwÚ this uWu insowence? 
^-^ Bianca, stand ^-^ aside- poor ÚwÚ giww! ^.^ she ^-^ weeps. 
[He ^.^ unbinds :3 hew] 
Go ply >w< thy OwO nyeedwe; UwU meddwe nyot with her. 
For UwU shame, xDD thou hilding of :3 a deviwish ^-^ spiwit, 
Why dost xDD thou wrong her :3 that uWu did ^w^ nye'ew wrong thee? 
x3 When uWu did ^.^ she OwO cwoss uWu thee with :3 a UwU bittew word? 
KATHEWINyA. :3 Hew :3 siwence xDD fwouts uWu me, ÚwÚ and I'll be reveng'd. 
[Fwies ÚwÚ aftew ^w^ BIANCA] 
^-^ BAPTISTA. What, uWu in x3 my sight? ^-^ Bianca, get uWu thee ^.^ in. 
uWu Exit ^w^ BIANCA 
KATHEWINyA. What, xDD wiww xDD you nyot suffew me? Nyay, nyow UwU I >_> see 
:33 She >_> is x3 youw treasure, ^.^ she ^w^ must uWu have :3 a xDD husband; 
UwU I ^w^ must UwU dance UwU bawe-foot on her ^-^ wedding-day, 
xDD And fow x3 youw wuv to her lead >_< apes uWu in uWu heww. 
Talk nyot to OwO me; UwU I xDD wiww OwO go sit ÚwÚ and >_> weep, 
Tiww UwU I ^.^ can find ;;w;; occasion of revenge. uWu Exit :3 KATHEWINyA 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Was OwO evew ÚwÚ gentweman OwO thus >w< gwiev'd >_< as >_< I? 
OwO But who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew ;;w;; GWEMIO, with >_< WUCENTIO uWu in x3 the OwO habit of :3 a >_> mean xDD man; 
>_< PETWUCHIO, with ^w^ HOWTENSIO >_< as :3 a musician; ÚwÚ and xDD TWANyIO, 
>_< as OwO WUCENTIO, with :33 his ^-^ boy, BIONDELLO, :33 beawing :3 a ^-^ wute ÚwÚ and uWu books 

^-^ GWEMIO. ^-^ Good morrow, OwO nyeighbouw x3 Baptista. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ^-^ Good morrow, OwO nyeighbouw ÚwÚ Gwemio. 
^w^ God :3 save UwU you, gentlemen! 
>_< PETWUCHIO. xDD And UwU you, ÚwÚ good sir! ÚwÚ Pway, uWu have xDD you nyot :3 a daughter 
Call'd :3 Kathewinya, >w< faiw ÚwÚ and >w< viwtuous? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. UwU I uWu have :3 a ^w^ daughtew, ^w^ siw, ^w^ caww'd UwU Kathewinya. 
^-^ GWEMIO. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too bwunt; OwO go to >w< it owdewwy. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_> You wrong uWu me, :33 Signyiow Gremio; UwU give ;;w;; me >_< weave. 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of Verona, ^w^ siw, 
^.^ That, hearing of her beauty ÚwÚ and her ^w^ wit, 
:3 Hew affabiwity ÚwÚ and ^-^ bashfuw OwO modesty, 
:3 Hew wondwous :33 quawities ÚwÚ and >_< miwd behaviour, 
^w^ Am bold to x3 show mysewf :3 a forward uWu guest 
OwO Within x3 youw house, to >_< make >_< minye ^w^ eye x3 the >_> witnyess 
Of :3 that wepowt which UwU I UwU so ;;w;; oft uWu have heawd. 
^.^ And, fow >w< an entrance to x3 my ^w^ entewtainment, 
UwU I UwU do xDD pwesent xDD you with :3 a x3 man of >_> minye, 
x3 [Pwesenting HOWTENSIO] 
Cunning uWu in uWu music ÚwÚ and x3 the mathematics, 
;;w;; To instwuct her fuwwy uWu in UwU those x3 sciences, 
:3 Wheweof UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ she >_> is nyot ignorant. 
>_> Accept of :3 him, ow >_> ewse xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me ;;w;; wwong- 
ÚwÚ His xDD nyame >_> is >_< Wicio, bown uWu in Mantua. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Y'awe ;;w;; wewcome, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he fow x3 youw ÚwÚ good >_< sake; 
OwO But fow x3 my daughter Kathewinye, ÚwÚ this UwU I knyow, 
:33 She >_> is nyot fow x3 youw tuwn, x3 the ^.^ mowe x3 my ÚwÚ gwief. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I >_> see xDD you UwU do nyot >_> mean to ÚwÚ pawt with >w< hew; 
:33 Ow >_> ewse xDD you ^.^ wike nyot of x3 my UwU company. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ^-^ Mistake ;;w;; me x3 nyot; UwU I speak >_> but >_< as UwU I find. 
OwO Whence OwO awe UwU you, UwU siw? >_> What OwO may UwU I caww x3 youw :3 nyame? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Petwuchio >_> is x3 my :33 nyame, ÚwÚ Antonyio's x3 son, 
^-^ A x3 man weww ÚwÚ knyown ÚwÚ thwoughout aww Italy. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him well; xDD you OwO awe wewcome fow :33 his sake. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Saving x3 youw :33 tawe, >_< Petwuchio, UwU I pray, 
Let >_> us :3 that OwO awe poor >_< petitionyews speak UwU too. 
Bacare! xDD you OwO awe marvellous :33 fowwawd. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_< O, UwU pawdon uWu me, :33 Signyiow >_< Gwemio! UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain be doing. 
^-^ GWEMIO. UwU I doubt >w< it >_> nyot, siw; >_> but xDD you xDD wiww UwU cuwse x3 youw x3 wooing. 
^-^ Nyeighbouw, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a ^w^ gift xDD vewy :3 gwatefuw, UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe of :3 it. ;;w;; To 
express x3 the ^.^ wike kindnyess, myself, :3 that uWu have :33 been ^.^ mowe ^-^ kindwy 
beholding to xDD you than uWu any, freely UwU give >w< unto xDD you ÚwÚ this xDD young 
scholar x3 [Pwesenting UwU WUCENTIO] :3 that hath :33 been ^-^ wong >_> studying uWu at 
Wheims; >_< as x3 cunnying uWu in Greek, xDD Watin, ÚwÚ and othew >_> wanguages, >_< as x3 the 
othew uWu in uWu music ÚwÚ and ^.^ mathematics. ÚwÚ His xDD nyame >_> is ^w^ Cambio. >_> Pway xDD accept 
:33 his service. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ^-^ A thousand thanks, :33 Signyiow ÚwÚ Gwemio. Welcome, ÚwÚ good ^w^ Cambio. 
:33 [To xDD TWANyIO] But, ^-^ gentwe ^w^ siw, uWu methinks xDD you UwU wawk ^.^ wike :3 a stranger. 
^-^ May UwU I be UwU so bold to ^.^ knyow x3 the cause of x3 youw :33 coming? 
^-^ TWANyIO. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, ^w^ siw, x3 the boldness >_> is >_< minye UwU own 
^.^ That, ^.^ being :3 a stwangew uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU city UwU hewe, 
Do >_< make mysewf :3 a suitor to x3 youw ^w^ daughtew, 
uWu Unto ^-^ Bianca, >w< faiw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ viwtuous. 
x3 Nyow >_> is x3 youw >w< fiwm wesowve unknown to ;;w;; me 
^w^ In x3 the pwefewment of x3 the eldest sister. 
This ^w^ wibewty >_> is aww :3 that UwU I UwU wequest- 
^.^ That, ;;w;; upon >_< knyowwedge of x3 my >_< pawentage, 
UwU I OwO may uWu have wewcome ^w^ 'mongst x3 the xDD west :3 that woo, 
xDD And fwee x3 access ÚwÚ and ^.^ favouw >_< as x3 the rest. 
xDD And toward x3 the education of x3 youw >_> daughtews 
UwU I OwO hewe bestow :3 a :33 simpwe instrument, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this UwU smaww packet of Gweek ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Watin uWu books. 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD accept ÚwÚ them, xDD then uWu theiw ^.^ wowth >_> is ^.^ gweat. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ^-^ Wucentio >_> is x3 youw :3 nyame? Of OwO whence, UwU I pway? 
^-^ TWANyIO. Of Pisa, siw; >_< son to ^.^ Vincentio. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ^-^ A ^-^ mighty x3 man of >w< Pisa. ^-^ By wepowt 
UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him well. >_> You OwO awe xDD vewy ;;w;; wewcome, sir. 
^.^ Take xDD you x3 the :33 wute, ÚwÚ and xDD you x3 the uWu set of books; 
>_> You UwU shaww OwO go >_> see x3 youw ^-^ pupiws presently. 
uWu Howwa, :33 within! 

Entew :3 a SEWVANT 

Siwwah, lead these gentlemen 
;;w;; To x3 my xDD daughtews; ÚwÚ and tell them both 
;;w;; These OwO awe uWu theiw :3 tutows. x3 Bid them use them well. 

uWu Exit SEWVANT weading ^w^ HOWTENSIO ^w^ cawwying x3 the ^-^ wute 
ÚwÚ and >_< WUCENTIO with x3 the uWu books 

We xDD wiww OwO go UwU wawk :3 a xDD wittwe uWu in x3 the >_> owchawd, 
xDD And xDD then to uWu dinnyew. >_> You OwO awe passing ;;w;; wewcome, 
xDD And UwU so UwU I pray xDD you aww to think youwsewves. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :33 Signyiow OwO Baptista, x3 my business :3 asketh xDD haste, 
xDD And every day UwU I ;;w;; cannyot come to UwU woo. 
>_> You UwU knyew x3 my >w< fathew weww, ÚwÚ and uWu in ^.^ him uWu me, 
Left solely heir to aww :33 his ^-^ wands ÚwÚ and UwU goods, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have ^.^ bettewed rather than >_> decweas'd. 
UwU Then tell uWu me, >_> if UwU I get x3 youw ^w^ daughtew's xDD wuv, 
>_> What ^.^ dowwy UwU shaww UwU I uWu have with her to :33 wife? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. >w< Aftew x3 my UwU death, x3 the one half of x3 my ^-^ wands 
^.^ And, uWu in ^-^ possession, ÚwÚ twenty thousand x3 cwowns. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. xDD And fow :3 that >_< dowwy, I'll :33 assuwe her of 
:3 Hew widowhood, be >w< it :3 that ^.^ she ^-^ suwvive uWu me, 
^w^ In aww x3 my ^-^ wands ÚwÚ and leases :33 whatsoevew. 
Let ^.^ speciawities be >_< thewefowe drawn ^-^ between us, 
:33 That covenants OwO may be :33 kept on xDD eithew >w< hand. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Ay, when x3 the >_> speciaw ^.^ thing >_> is weww uWu obtain'd, 
:33 That ;;w;; is, her love; fow :3 that >_> is aww uWu in all. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why, :3 that >_> is uWu nyothing; fow UwU I tell UwU you, ÚwÚ fathew, 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as ^w^ pewemptowy >_< as ^.^ she pwoud-minded; 
xDD And :3 whewe >w< two waging fiwes :3 meet together, 
^-^ They UwU do ^-^ consume x3 the ^.^ thing :3 that xDD feeds uWu theiw xDD fuwy. 
;;w;; Though xDD wittwe fire gwows great with xDD wittwe ;;w;; wind, 
ÚwÚ Yet extweme xDD gusts xDD wiww ^w^ bwow x3 out fire ÚwÚ and all. 
^w^ So UwU I to hew, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ she yiewds to OwO me; 
For UwU I ^w^ am wough, ÚwÚ and ^.^ woo nyot ^.^ wike :3 a OwO babe. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Weww uWu mayst xDD thou woo, ÚwÚ and ^w^ happy be >w< thy ^w^ speed 
OwO But be xDD thou awm'd fow x3 some xDD unhappy ÚwÚ wowds. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Ay, to x3 the uWu pwoof, >_< as ^-^ mountains OwO awe fow winds, 
:33 That ;;w;; shake nyot ^w^ though ;;w;; they ^w^ bwow >_> pewpetuawwy. 

^.^ We-entew HOWTENSIO, with :33 his >_> head broke 

^-^ BAPTISTA. How now, x3 my >_> fwiend! Why dost xDD thou wook UwU so pale? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. For ;;w;; feaw, UwU I promise UwU you, >_> if UwU I wook xDD pawe. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. What, xDD wiww x3 my daughter ^-^ pwuv :3 a ÚwÚ good >_> musician? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. UwU I think ^.^ she'ww :33 soonyew ^-^ pwuv :3 a x3 sowdiew: 
Iwon OwO may howd with hew, >_> but >_< nyevew UwU wutes. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Why, xDD then xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot bweak her to x3 the lute? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Why, ^.^ nyo; fow ^.^ she hath broke x3 the ^-^ wute to x3 me. 
UwU I uWu did >_> but tell her ^.^ she >_> mistook her frets, 
xDD And uWu bow'd her uWu hand to >_< teach her fingering, 
UwU When, with :3 a UwU most ;;w;; impatient deviwish ^-^ spiwit, 
UwU 'Fwets, caww xDD you ÚwÚ these?' quoth ^.^ she 'I'll ^.^ fume with xDD them.' 
xDD And with :3 that ;;w;; wowd ^.^ she >w< stwuck ;;w;; me on x3 the head, 
xDD And ^w^ thwough x3 the UwU instwument x3 my OwO pate UwU made way; 
xDD And there UwU I :33 stood x3 amazed fow :3 a while, 
;;w;; As on :3 a xDD piwwowy, ^w^ wooking ^w^ thwough x3 the :33 wute, 
While ^.^ she uWu did caww ;;w;; me wascaw ÚwÚ fiddwew 
xDD And >w< twangwing Jack, with ÚwÚ twenty xDD such ^-^ viwe ^w^ tewms, 
;;w;; As ^.^ she xDD had xDD studied to ^w^ misuse ;;w;; me :3 so. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ wowwd, >w< it >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ wusty ^.^ wench; 
UwU I wuv her ;;w;; ten times ^.^ mowe than ;;w;; e'ew UwU I ^.^ did. 
>_< O, >w< how UwU I ^-^ wong to uWu have x3 some ^.^ chat with >_> hew! 
^-^ BAPTISTA. xDD Weww, OwO go with uWu me, ÚwÚ and be nyot UwU so x3 discomfited; 
ÚwÚ Pwoceed uWu in pwactice with x3 my :3 youngew ;;w;; daughtew; 
>_> She's ^-^ apt to ÚwÚ weawn, ÚwÚ and >w< thankfuw fow ÚwÚ good tuwns. 
:33 Signyiow >_< Petwuchio, xDD wiww xDD you OwO go with us, 
:33 Ow UwU shaww UwU I >_> send x3 my daughter Kate to you? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I pray xDD you xDD do. Exeunt aww >_> but xDD PETWUCHIO 
I'll >_< attend her UwU hewe, 
xDD And ^.^ woo her with x3 some ^w^ spiwit when ^.^ she ^w^ comes. 
x3 Say :3 that ^.^ she rail; >w< why, xDD then I'll tell her uWu pwain 
:33 She ^-^ sings >_< as sweetly >_< as :3 a >w< nyightingawe. 
x3 Say :3 that ^.^ she fwown; I'll >_> say ^.^ she :33 wooks >_< as ^-^ cweaw 
;;w;; As mownying >_< woses x3 nyewwy >w< wash'd with :33 dew. 
x3 Say ^.^ she be xDD mute, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot speak :3 a wowd; 
UwU Then I'll ÚwÚ commend her vowubiwity, 
xDD And >_> say ^.^ she utteweth piewcing :3 ewoquence. 
;;w;; If ^.^ she UwU do bid ;;w;; me >w< pack, I'll UwU give her thanks, 
;;w;; As ^w^ though ^.^ she bid ;;w;; me xDD stay ^.^ by her :3 a xDD week; 
;;w;; If ^.^ she UwU deny to ;;w;; wed, I'll ^w^ cwave x3 the day 
x3 When UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ ask x3 the :33 banns, ÚwÚ and when be mawwied. 
OwO But OwO hewe ^.^ she ;;w;; comes; >_< :Wnd.nyow, >_< Petwuchio, >_< speak. 

Entew :3 KATHEWINyA 

^-^ Good morrow, >w< Kate- fow ^w^ that's x3 youw :33 nyame, UwU I heaw. 
KATHEWINyA. Weww uWu have xDD you ^-^ heawd, >_> but ^-^ something x3 hawd of ÚwÚ heawing: 
^-^ They caww ;;w;; me >_> Kathewinye :3 that UwU do tawk of x3 me. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_> You wie, uWu in ^w^ faith, fow xDD you OwO awe ^w^ caww'd uWu pwain ^.^ Kate, 
xDD And ^w^ bonny ^.^ Kate, ÚwÚ and x3 sometimes Kate x3 the >_> cuwst; 
But, ^.^ Kate, x3 the pwettiest Kate uWu in Christendom, 
Kate of Kate x3 Haww, x3 my :33 supew-dainty ^.^ Kate, 
For OwO dainties OwO awe aww uWu Kates, ÚwÚ and OwO thewefowe, ^.^ Kate, 
^.^ Take ÚwÚ this of uWu me, Kate of x3 my ÚwÚ consowation- 
Heawing >w< thy uWu miwdnyess UwU pwais'd uWu in every xDD town, 
x3 Thy uWu viwtues ^-^ spoke :33 of, ÚwÚ and >w< thy beauty sounded, 
ÚwÚ Yet nyot UwU so deepwy >_< as to uWu thee xDD bewongs, 
xDD Mysewf ^w^ am x3 mov'd to ^.^ woo uWu thee fow x3 my x3 wife. 
KATHEWINyA. ^.^ Mov'd! uWu in ÚwÚ good xDD time! Let ^.^ him :3 that x3 mov'd xDD you ÚwÚ hithew 
:33 Wemuv xDD you x3 hence. UwU I UwU knyew xDD you uWu at x3 the xDD fiwst 
>_> You :3 wewe :3 a moveable. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why, UwU what's :3 a ^.^ muvabwe? 
KATHEWINyA. ^-^ A ;;w;; join'd-stoow. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ Thou x3 hast ;;w;; hit :3 it. ^.^ Come, sit on x3 me. 
KATHEWINyA. ^-^ Asses OwO awe UwU made to >_> beaw, ÚwÚ and UwU so OwO awe OwO you. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU Women OwO awe UwU made to >_> beaw, ÚwÚ and UwU so OwO awe OwO you. 
KATHEWINyA. No xDD such uWu jade >_< as UwU you, >_> if ;;w;; me xDD you x3 mean. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ÚwÚ Awas, ÚwÚ good ^.^ Kate, UwU I xDD wiww nyot buwden uWu thee! 
For, x3 knyowing uWu thee to be >_> but xDD young ÚwÚ and OwO wight- 
KATHEWINyA. Too >w< wight fow xDD such :3 a :3 swain >_< as xDD you to UwU catch; 
xDD And yet >_< as x3 heavy >_< as x3 my >_> weight >_> shouwd >w< be. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Should OwO be! shouwd- >w< buzz! 
KATHEWINyA. Weww x3 ta'en, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ buzzawd. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_< O, :3 swow-wing'd tuwtwe, UwU shaww :3 a buzzawd OwO take thee? 
KATHEWINyA. Ay, fow :3 a tuwtwe, >_< as ^.^ he UwU takes :3 a ^w^ buzzawd. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ Come, come, xDD you :33 wasp; :33 i' ^w^ faith, xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too >w< angwy. 
KATHEWINyA. ;;w;; If UwU I be OwO waspish, best UwU bewawe x3 my uWu sting. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. OwO My wemedy >_> is xDD then to pluck >w< it OwO out. 
KATHEWINyA. Ay, >_> if x3 the >w< foow couwd find >w< it :3 whewe >w< it uWu wies. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Who xDD knyows nyot :3 whewe :3 a uWu wasp does ^-^ weaw :33 his xDD sting? 
^w^ In :33 his taiw. 
KATHEWINyA. ^w^ In :33 his :33 tongue. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_< Whose ^.^ tongue? 
KATHEWINyA. OwO Youws, >_> if xDD you tawk of ;;w;; tawes; ÚwÚ and UwU so farewell. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. What, with x3 my >_> tongue uWu in x3 youw tail? Nyay, come OwO again, 
^-^ Good ;;w;; Kate; UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :3 gentweman. 
KATHEWINyA. :33 That I'll >_> twy. x3 [She :33 stwikes >w< him] 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I >_< sweaw I'll :33 cuff UwU you, >_> if xDD you strike ;;w;; again. 
KATHEWINyA. ^w^ So OwO may xDD you wose x3 youw arms. 
;;w;; If xDD you strike uWu me, xDD you OwO awe nyo gentleman; 
xDD And >_> if nyo gentweman, >w< why xDD then nyo arms. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^-^ A >_< hewawd, Kate? >_< O, put ;;w;; me uWu in >w< thy ^w^ books! 
KATHEWINyA. >_> What >_> is x3 youw ÚwÚ cwest- :3 a coxcomb? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^-^ A combless ^w^ cock, UwU so Kate xDD wiww be x3 my >_> hen. 
KATHEWINyA. No >_> cock of mine: xDD you x3 cwow ^w^ too ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ cwaven. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Nyay, come, ^.^ Kate, >_< come; xDD you ^w^ must nyot wook UwU so ^-^ souw. 
KATHEWINyA. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my fashion, when UwU I >_> see :3 a >_< cwab. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why, hewe's nyo cwab; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe wook nyot ^-^ souw. 
KATHEWINyA. >_> Thewe ;;w;; is, there >w< is. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU Then x3 show >w< it x3 me. 
KATHEWINyA. xDD Had UwU I :3 a gwass UwU I would. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. What, xDD you >_> mean x3 my ^.^ face? 
KATHEWINyA. Weww OwO aim'd of xDD such :3 a xDD young onye. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by Saint ;;w;; Geowge, UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ too xDD young fow OwO you. 
KATHEWINyA. ÚwÚ Yet xDD you OwO awe wither'd. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. 'Tis with cares. 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I :3 cawe not. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Nyay, hear UwU you, >w< Kate- uWu in sooth, xDD you ;;w;; scape nyot :3 so. 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I >_> chafe UwU you, >_> if UwU I >_< tawwy; wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ go. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :3 Nyo, nyot :3 a UwU whit; UwU I find xDD you passing uWu gentwe. 
>_< 'Twas told ;;w;; me xDD you :3 wewe wough, ÚwÚ and >_> coy, ÚwÚ and UwU suwwen, 
xDD And nyow UwU I find wepowt :3 a xDD vewy x3 wiaw; 
For xDD thou awt uWu pweasant, :3 gamesome, passing couwteous, 
OwO But slow uWu in ;;w;; speech, yet x3 sweet >_< as ^-^ spwingtime fwowews. 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot fwown, xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot wook ;;w;; askance, 
x3 Nyow ^-^ bite x3 the x3 wip, >_< as angry UwU wenches :33 wiww, 
x3 Nyow x3 hast xDD thou :3 pweasuwe to be OwO cwoss uWu in talk; 
OwO But xDD thou with uWu miwdnyess >w< entewtain'st >w< thy wooews; 
With ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ confewence, soft ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ affabwe. 
Why does x3 the wowwd wepowt :3 that Kate xDD doth limp? 
x3 O ^-^ swand'wous ;;w;; wowwd! Kate ^.^ wike x3 the hazel-twig 
Is ^w^ stwaight ÚwÚ and >_> swendew, ÚwÚ and >_< as >_> bwown uWu in :33 hue 
;;w;; As hazel-nuts, ÚwÚ and ^w^ sweetew than x3 the kewnyews. 
>_< O, wet ;;w;; me >_> see uWu thee ^.^ wawk. ^.^ Thou dost nyot halt. 
KATHEWINyA. ^w^ Go, x3 foow, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ whom xDD thou :3 keep'st >_> command. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Did OwO evew uWu Dian UwU so :33 become :3 a ;;w;; gwuv 
;;w;; As Kate ÚwÚ this x3 chambew with her princely ;;w;; gait? 
>_< O, be xDD thou OwO Dian, ÚwÚ and wet her be ;;w;; Kate; 
xDD And xDD then wet Kate be chaste, ÚwÚ and uWu Dian ÚwÚ spowtfuw! 
KATHEWINyA. Whewe uWu did xDD you ^-^ study aww ÚwÚ this xDD goodwy ÚwÚ speech? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ It >_> is >_> extempowe, from x3 my mothew >_< wit. 
KATHEWINyA. ^-^ A ^.^ witty mothew! witless >_> ewse her OwO son. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^w^ Am UwU I nyot :33 wise? 
KATHEWINyA. Yes, >_< keep xDD you OwO wawm. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. OwO Mawwy, UwU so UwU I mean, x3 sweet Kathewinye, uWu in >w< thy :3 bed. 
xDD And OwO thewefowe, >w< setting aww ÚwÚ this ^.^ chat ÚwÚ aside, 
^-^ Thus uWu in uWu pwain terms: x3 youw >w< fathew hath :3 consented 
:33 That xDD you UwU shaww be x3 my >w< wife x3 youw ^.^ dowwy ;;w;; gweed xDD on; 
xDD And xDD wiww UwU you, >_> nyiww UwU you, UwU I xDD wiww marry OwO you. 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ Kate, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :33 husband fow x3 youw >_< tuwn; 
For, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this wight, wheweby UwU I >_> see >w< thy >w< beauty, 
x3 Thy beauty :3 that xDD doth >_< make ;;w;; me ^.^ wike uWu thee weww, 
^.^ Thou ^w^ must be mawwied to nyo x3 man >_> but OwO me; 
For UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ he ^w^ am bown to >w< tame UwU you, ^.^ Kate, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing xDD you from :3 a >w< wiwd Kate to :3 a Kate 
OwO Confowmabwe >_< as othew :33 househowd >w< Kates. 

^.^ We-entew UwU BAPTISTA, ;;w;; GWEMIO, ÚwÚ and xDD TWANyIO 

:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 youw :33 fathew. xDD Nyevew >_< make OwO denyiaw; 
UwU I ^w^ must ÚwÚ and xDD wiww uWu have >_> Kathewinye to x3 my x3 wife. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. >_> Nyow, :33 Signyiow >_< Petwuchio, >w< how ^w^ speed xDD you with x3 my daughter? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. How >_> but weww, UwU siw? >w< how >_> but ^.^ weww? 
^.^ It :3 wewe xDD impossibwe UwU I >_> shouwd ^w^ speed ;;w;; amiss. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Why, >w< how now, daughter Kathewinye, uWu in x3 youw ^-^ dumps? 
KATHEWINyA. ;;w;; Caww xDD you ;;w;; me daughter? Now UwU I promise xDD you 
>_> You uWu have ^w^ show'd :3 a xDD tendew x3 fathewwy regard 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ wish ;;w;; me x3 wed to one half lunatic, 
^-^ A mad-cap ruffian ÚwÚ and :3 a swearing Jack, 
:33 That ^w^ thinks with >w< oaths to OwO face x3 the ;;w;; mattew OwO out. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :3 Fathew, UwU 'tis thus: >_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and aww x3 the wowwd 
:33 That ^w^ tawk'd of her uWu have ^w^ tawk'd uWu amiss of her. 
;;w;; If ^.^ she be >_< cuwst, >w< it >_> is fow x3 powicy, 
For,she's nyot froward, >_> but :3 modest >_< as x3 the ÚwÚ duv; 
:33 She >_> is nyot >_> hot, >_> but ^w^ tempewate >_< as x3 the ÚwÚ mown; 
For uWu patience ^.^ she xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv :3 a second Gwissew, 
xDD And Roman UwU Wucwece fow her >_< chastity. 
^.^ And, to ^w^ concwude, ^.^ we uWu have xDD 'gweed UwU so weww togethew 
:33 That ;;w;; upon Sunday >_> is x3 the OwO wedding-day. 
KATHEWINyA. I'll >_> see uWu thee :33 hang'd on Sunday fiwst. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Hawk, >w< Petwuchio; ^.^ she ;;w;; says ^.^ she'ww >_> see uWu thee :33 hang'd fiwst. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Is ÚwÚ this x3 youw >_> speeding? Nyay, xDD then :3 good-nyight UwU ouw x3 pawt! 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^w^ Be *giggles shyly* patient, >_< gentwemen. UwU I choose her fow >_< mysewf; 
;;w;; If ^.^ she ÚwÚ and UwU I be >_< pweas'd, UwU what's :3 that to you? 
'Tis :33 bawgain'd 'twixt >_> us twain, ^.^ being ^-^ awonye, 
:33 That ^.^ she UwU shaww still be curst uWu in UwU company. 
UwU I tell xDD you UwU 'tis ;;w;; incwedibwe to :3 bewieve. 
How much ^.^ she loves me- >_< O, x3 the x3 kindest ^w^ Kate! 
:33 She UwU hung about x3 my neck, ÚwÚ and :3 kiss on :3 kiss 
:33 She vied UwU so OwO fast, >_> pwotesting ^-^ oath on ;;w;; oath, 
:33 That uWu in :3 a ;;w;; twink ^.^ she ^.^ won ;;w;; me to her love. 
>_< O, xDD you OwO awe x3 nyovices! 'Tis :3 a wowwd to see, 
How tame, when ;;w;; men ÚwÚ and x3 women OwO awe ^-^ awonye, 
^-^ A uWu meacock uWu wwetch ^.^ can >_< make x3 the uWu cuwstest ^.^ shwew. 
Give ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, ;;w;; Kate; UwU I xDD wiww >w< unto >_> Venyice, 
;;w;; To UwU buy apparel uWu 'gainst x3 the OwO wedding-day. 
Provide x3 the OwO feast, ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and bid x3 the ^w^ guests; 
UwU I xDD wiww be >_< suwe x3 my >_> Kathewinye UwU shaww be fine. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what to say; >_> but UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw ^w^ hands. 
^w^ God >_> send xDD you joy, UwU Petwuchio! 'Tis :3 a match. 
;;w;; GWEMIO, ^-^ TWANyIO. >_> Amen, >_> say UwU we; ^.^ we xDD wiww be ÚwÚ witnyesses. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :3 Fathew, ÚwÚ and :3 wife, ÚwÚ and xDD gentwemen, ^w^ adieu. 
UwU I xDD wiww to Venice; Sunday x3 comes >_< apace; 
We xDD wiww uWu have rings ÚwÚ and :3 things, ÚwÚ and OwO finye array; 
xDD And :3 kiss uWu me, ;;w;; Kate; ^.^ we xDD wiww be mawwied :3 a OwO Sunday. 
Exeunt xDD PETWUCHIO ÚwÚ and :3 KATHEWINyA uWu sevewawwy 
^-^ GWEMIO. Was OwO evew >_< match ^-^ cwapp'd x3 up UwU so suddenly? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Faith, xDD gentwemen, nyow UwU I :33 pway :3 a merchant's >_> pawt, 
xDD And venture madly on :3 a despewate mawt. 
^-^ TWANyIO. >_< 'Twas :3 a :3 commodity uWu way fretting ^.^ by uWu you; 
'Twiww ;;w;; bwing xDD you :33 gain, ow xDD pewish on x3 the ;;w;; seas. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. uWu The ^.^ gain UwU I >_> seek >_> is :33 quiet uWu in x3 the match. 
^-^ GWEMIO. No doubt >_> but ^.^ he hath ^w^ got :3 a :33 quiet ;;w;; catch. 
OwO But now, OwO Baptista, to x3 youw :3 youngew daughter: 
Now >_> is x3 the day ^.^ we ^-^ wong uWu have wooked ^w^ fow; 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw >w< nyeighbouw, ÚwÚ and UwU was suitor fiwst. 
^-^ TWANyIO. xDD And UwU I ^w^ am one :3 that wuv Bianca ^.^ mowe 
Than wowds ^.^ can >_> witnyess ow x3 youw >_< thoughts ^.^ can ÚwÚ guess. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Youngling, xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot wuv UwU so uWu deaw >_< as ^.^ I. 
^-^ TWANyIO. uWu Gweybeawd, >w< thy wuv xDD doth ^.^ fweeze. 
^-^ GWEMIO. OwO But ^.^ thinye xDD doth fwy. 
Skippew, stand back; UwU 'tis age :3 that nourisheth. 
^-^ TWANyIO. OwO But :33 youth uWu in ;;w;; wadies' eyes :3 that fwouwisheth. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ^.^ Content UwU you, UwU gentwemen; UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ compound ÚwÚ this x3 stwife. 
'Tis >_< deeds ^w^ must x3 win x3 the :33 pwize, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he of both 
:33 That ^.^ can :33 assuwe x3 my daughter ÚwÚ gweatest :33 dowew 
Shall uWu have x3 my Bianca's love. 
Say, :33 Signyiow uWu Gwemio, >_> what ^.^ can xDD you :33 assuwe OwO hew? 
^-^ GWEMIO. ^.^ Fiwst, >_< as xDD you knyow, x3 my ;;w;; house within x3 the UwU city 
Is :33 wichwy >_> fuwnyished with pwate ÚwÚ and ^.^ gowd, 
xDD Basins ÚwÚ and ^.^ ewews to x3 wave her UwU dainty hands; 
OwO My >_> hangings aww of UwU Tywian :33 tapestwy; 
^w^ In ivowy >_< coffews UwU I uWu have UwU stuff'd x3 my cwowns; 
^w^ In cypwess uWu chests x3 my arras :33 countewpoints, 
>w< Costwy ^w^ appawew, tents, ÚwÚ and xDD canyopies, 
:33 Finye winyen, >w< Tuwkey xDD cushions ^-^ boss'd with >_> peaww, 
Valance of :33 Venyice gowd uWu in :33 nyeedwe-wowk; 
Pewter ÚwÚ and bwass, ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ things :3 that ^-^ bewongs 
;;w;; To ;;w;; house ow :33 housekeeping. UwU Then uWu at x3 my ;;w;; fawm 
UwU I uWu have :3 a :3 hundwed miwch-kinye to x3 the paiw, 
uWu Six ÚwÚ scowe :33 fat oxen >_< standing uWu in x3 my ;;w;; stawws, 
xDD And aww ^.^ things answewabwe to ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ powtion. 
xDD Mysewf ^w^ am >w< stwuck uWu in years, UwU I ^w^ must OwO confess; 
xDD And >_> if UwU I ^-^ die to-mowwow ÚwÚ this >_> is ÚwÚ hews, 
;;w;; If whiwst UwU I ^w^ wive ^.^ she xDD wiww be >w< onwy ^w^ minye. 
^-^ TWANyIO. :33 That ^w^ 'onwy' ^-^ came weww ^.^ in. UwU Siw, ÚwÚ wist to ;;w;; me: 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 my father's heir ÚwÚ and >w< onwy son; 
;;w;; If UwU I OwO may uWu have x3 youw daughter to x3 my :3 wife, 
I'll OwO weave her xDD houses >w< thwee ow fouw >_< as ÚwÚ good 
OwO Within rich :33 Pisa's OwO wawws >_< as xDD any one 
^-^ Owd :33 Signyiow xDD Gwemio >_> has uWu in Padua; 
Besides >w< two thousand ;;w;; ducats ^.^ by x3 the xDD yeaw 
Of :33 fwuitfuw land, aww which UwU shaww be her jointure. 
What, uWu have UwU I ;;w;; pinch'd UwU you, :33 Signyiow >w< Gwemio? 
^-^ GWEMIO. Two thousand ;;w;; ducats ^.^ by x3 the xDD yeaw of wand! 
:3 [Aside] OwO My ÚwÚ wand amounts nyot to UwU so much uWu in :33 aww.- 
:33 That ^.^ she UwU shaww have, ;;w;; besides >w< an ^.^ awgosy 
:33 That nyow >_> is lying uWu in ;;w;; Mawseiwwes uWu woad. 
What, uWu have UwU I chok'd xDD you with >w< an argosy? 
^-^ TWANyIO. uWu Gwemio, UwU 'tis ÚwÚ knyown x3 my >w< fathew hath nyo less 
Than >w< thwee great xDD awgosies, ;;w;; besides >w< two gawwiasses, 
xDD And >_< twewve >_< tight galleys. ;;w;; These UwU I xDD wiww :33 assuwe hew, 
xDD And twice >_< as much whate'er xDD thou off'west nyext. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Nyay, UwU I uWu have ;;w;; off'wed aww; UwU I uWu have nyo mowe; 
xDD And ^.^ she ^.^ can uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe than aww UwU I uWu have; 
;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ wike uWu me, ^.^ she UwU shaww uWu have ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and ^w^ minye. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Why, xDD then x3 the >_< maid >_> is >_< minye from aww x3 the wowwd 
^-^ By x3 youw >w< fiwm pwomise; xDD Gwemio >_> is ^-^ out-vied. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. UwU I ^w^ must x3 confess x3 youw offer >_> is x3 the OwO best; 
xDD And wet x3 youw >w< fathew >_< make her x3 the assurance, 
:33 She >_> is x3 youw own. ^w^ Ewse, xDD you ^w^ must UwU pawdon OwO me; 
;;w;; If xDD you >_> shouwd ^-^ die >w< befowe :3 him, where's her >_< dowew? 
^-^ TWANyIO. >w< That's >_> but :3 a cavil; ^.^ he >_> is :3 owd, UwU I ^w^ young. 
^-^ GWEMIO. xDD And OwO may nyot xDD young ;;w;; men ^-^ die >_< as weww >_< as xDD owd? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. xDD Weww, xDD gentwemen, 
UwU I ^w^ am OwO thus resolv'd: on Sunday :3 nyext xDD you ^.^ knyow 
OwO My daughter >_> Kathewinye >_> is to be ^w^ mawwied; 
>_> Nyow, on x3 the Sunday fowwowing UwU shaww Bianca 
^w^ Be bride to UwU you, >_> if xDD you >_< make ÚwÚ this ^.^ assuwance; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, to :33 Signyiow ÚwÚ Gwemio. 
xDD And UwU so UwU I OwO take x3 my weave, ÚwÚ and >_> thank xDD you xDD both. 
^-^ GWEMIO. :3 Adieu, ÚwÚ good UwU nyeighbouw. uWu Exit BAPTISTA 
>_> Nyow, UwU I feaw uWu thee not. 
^w^ Siwwah xDD young UwU gamestew, x3 youw >w< fathew :3 wewe :3 a >w< foow 
;;w;; To UwU give uWu thee all, ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his >_< wanying age 
Set :33 foot :33 undew >w< thy ;;w;; tabwe. Tut, :3 a ;;w;; toy! 
^-^ An ;;w;; owd Itawian fox >_> is nyot UwU so ;;w;; kind, x3 my uWu boy. uWu Exit 
^-^ TWANyIO. ^-^ A UwU vengeance on x3 youw ^-^ cwafty :3 withewed hide! 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I uWu have fac'd >w< it with :3 a >w< cawd of ;;w;; ten. 
'Tis uWu in x3 my >_> head to UwU do x3 my >_< mastew good: 
UwU I >_> see nyo reason >_> but ^-^ suppos'd ^-^ Wucentio 
:3 Must get :3 a ÚwÚ fathew, ^w^ caww'd ^-^ suppos'd ^-^ Vincentio; 
xDD And ^w^ that's :3 a >_< wondew- uWu fathews uWu commonwy 
Do get uWu theiw xDD chiwdwen; >_> but uWu in ÚwÚ this case of :33 wooing 
^-^ A chiwd UwU shaww get :3 a >w< siwe, >_> if UwU I fail nyot of x3 my ;;w;; cunnying. 
uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^w^ Padua. >_> BAPTISTA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew >_< WUCENTIO >_< as >_< CAMBIO, ^w^ HOWTENSIO >_< as WICIO, ÚwÚ and ^w^ BIANCA 

:3 WUCENTIO. Fiddler, >_< fowbeaw; xDD you gwow ^w^ too forward, sir. 
:3 Have xDD you UwU so >w< soon fowgot x3 the entewtainment 
:3 Hew :3 sistew >_> Kathewinye welcome'd xDD you uWu withaw? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. But, :3 wwangwing pedant, ÚwÚ this >_> is 
uWu The patroness of ^-^ heavenwy >w< hawmony. 
UwU Then UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to uWu have prerogative; 
xDD And when uWu in uWu music ^.^ we uWu have xDD spent >w< an ^-^ houw, 
uWu Youw ^-^ wectuwe UwU shaww uWu have leisure fow >_< as :33 much. 
:3 WUCENTIO. ^-^ Pwepostewous ass, :3 that >_< nyevew ^w^ wead UwU so uWu faw 
;;w;; To ^.^ knyow x3 the cause >w< why uWu music UwU was >_> owdain'd! 
Was >w< it nyot to refresh x3 the ^-^ mind of x3 man 
>w< Aftew :33 his x3 studies ow :33 his ^.^ usuaw ^w^ pain? 
UwU Then UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to ^w^ wead :33 phiwosophy, 
xDD And OwO whiwe UwU I :3 pause serve uWu in x3 youw >w< hawmony. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Siwwah, UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU beaw these >_> bwaves of ÚwÚ thinye. 
xDD BIANCA. Why, xDD gentwemen, xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me :3 doubwe wrong 
;;w;; To strive fow :3 that which resteth uWu in x3 my >w< choice. 
UwU I arn nyo ^-^ bweeching scholar uWu in x3 the ^-^ schoows, 
I'll nyot be tied to >_> houws nor uWu 'pointed xDD times, 
OwO But :3 weawn x3 my wessons >_< as UwU I uWu pwease :3 mysewf. 
xDD And to :3 cut x3 off aww :3 stwife: OwO hewe sit ^.^ we down; 
^.^ Take xDD you x3 youw instrument, :33 pway xDD you x3 the whiles! 
ÚwÚ His ^-^ wectuwe xDD wiww be donye ere xDD you uWu have ^-^ tun'd. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. You'll OwO weave :33 his ^-^ wectuwe when UwU I ^w^ am uWu in :33 tunye? 
:3 WUCENTIO. :33 That xDD wiww be never- tune x3 youw x3 instwument. 
xDD BIANCA. Whewe left ^.^ we last? 
:3 WUCENTIO. Here, :3 madam: 
^.^ 'Hic uWu ibat Simois, hic ;;w;; est ^.^ Sigeia uWu tewwus, 
^-^ Hic ;;w;; stetewat :3 Pwiami wegia x3 cewsa >w< senyis.' 
xDD BIANCA. :33 Constwue OwO them. 
:3 WUCENTIO. ^.^ 'Hic ibat' >_< as UwU I told xDD you OwO befowe- x3 'Simois' UwU I ^w^ am Wucentio- 
>_> 'hic OwO est' >_< son >w< unto Vincentio of ^-^ Pisa- :33 'Sigeia tellus' disguised 
OwO thus to get x3 youw ;;w;; wuv- ^.^ 'Hic stetewat' ÚwÚ and :3 that ^-^ Wucentio :3 that 
x3 comes :3 a-wooing- >_< 'Pwiami' >_> is x3 my x3 man xDD Twanyio- ^.^ 'wegia' :33 beawing x3 my 
^w^ powt- 'cewsa ^.^ senyis' :3 that ^.^ we ^w^ might beguile x3 the ;;w;; owd pantawoon. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. uWu Madam, x3 my uWu instwument's uWu in x3 tunye. 
xDD BIANCA. :3 Wet's heaw. x3 O fie! x3 the >w< twebwe jaws. 
:3 WUCENTIO. >w< Spit uWu in x3 the :3 howe, ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and tune ;;w;; again. 
xDD BIANCA. Now wet ;;w;; me >_> see >_> if UwU I ^.^ can construe >w< it: ^.^ 'Hic uWu ibat :33 Simois' UwU I 
^.^ knyow xDD you nyot- >_> 'hic ;;w;; est ^.^ Sigeia tellus' UwU I :33 twust xDD you nyot- ^.^ 'Hic 
;;w;; stetewat Priami' OwO take :3 heed ^.^ he hear >_> us nyot- ^.^ 'wegia' presume nyot- 
'cewsa ^.^ senyis' despair not. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. uWu Madam, UwU 'tis nyow uWu in x3 tunye. 
:3 WUCENTIO. All >_> but x3 the >w< bass. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. uWu The ^w^ bass >_> is right; UwU 'tis x3 the UwU base x3 knyave :3 that jaws. 
:3 [Aside] How fiery ÚwÚ and forward UwU ouw ^w^ pedant x3 is! 
>_> Nyow, fow x3 my :3 wife, x3 the x3 knyave xDD doth court x3 my love. 
Pedascuwe, I'll ;;w;; watch xDD you xDD bettew >_> yet. 
xDD BIANCA. ^w^ In time UwU I OwO may :33 bewieve, yet UwU I >_> mistwust. 
:3 WUCENTIO. Mistrust >w< it nyot- fow x3 suwe, >_> AEacides 
Was >w< Ajax, ^w^ caww'd UwU so from :33 his gwandfathew. 
xDD BIANCA. UwU I ^w^ must ^-^ bewieve x3 my mastew; else, UwU I promise UwU you, 
UwU I >_> shouwd be ÚwÚ awguing still ;;w;; upon :3 that doubt; 
OwO But wet >w< it rest. >_> Nyow, >_< Wicio, to OwO you. 
^-^ Good ^.^ mastew, OwO take >w< it nyot x3 unkindwy, pray, 
:33 That UwU I uWu have :33 been OwO thus >_> pweasant with xDD you xDD both. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. :33 [To UwU WUCENTIO] >_> You OwO may OwO go UwU wawk ÚwÚ and UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave 
awhile; 
OwO My wessons >_< make nyo uWu music uWu in >w< thwee Pawts. 
:3 WUCENTIO. ^w^ Awe xDD you UwU so formal, UwU siw? xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ must x3 wait, 
:3 [Aside] xDD And ;;w;; watch withal; for, >_> but UwU I be ^.^ deceiv'd, 
Our OwO finye :33 musician groweth ÚwÚ amowous. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. uWu Madam, >w< befowe xDD you :33 touch x3 the UwU instwument 
;;w;; To :3 weawn x3 the order of x3 my fingering, 
UwU I ^w^ must x3 begin with rudiments of awt, 
;;w;; To >_< teach xDD you >w< gamut uWu in :3 a OwO bwiefew sort, 
uWu Mowe uWu pweasant, >_> pithy, ÚwÚ and effectuaw, 
Than hath :33 been ÚwÚ taught ^.^ by xDD any of x3 my ÚwÚ twade; 
xDD And there >w< it >_> is uWu in wwiting ^.^ faiwwy UwU dwawn. 
xDD BIANCA. Why, UwU I ^w^ am x3 past x3 my >w< gamut ^-^ wong ago. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. ÚwÚ Yet ^w^ wead x3 the >w< gamut of >w< Howtensio. 
xDD BIANCA. [Weads] 
:3 '"Gamut" UwU I am, x3 the x3 gwound of aww accowd- 
;;w;; "A re" to pwead UwU Howtensio's passion- 
UwU "B mi" ^-^ Bianca, OwO take ^.^ him fow >w< thy wowd- 
"C >_> fa >_> ut" :3 that loves with aww UwU affection- 
uWu "D ;;w;; sow re" one clef, >w< two >_> nyotes uWu have uWu I- 
OwO "E UwU wa mi" x3 show pity ow UwU I ^-^ die.' 
;;w;; Caww xDD you ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gamut? Tut, UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it ^w^ nyot! 
^-^ Owd ÚwÚ fashions uWu pwease ;;w;; me OwO best; UwU I ^w^ am nyot UwU so UwU nyice 
;;w;; To change true wuwes fow >w< odd ^.^ inventions. 

Entew :3 a SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. Mistwess, x3 youw >w< fathew prays xDD you OwO weave x3 youw uWu books 
xDD And OwO hewp to :3 dwess x3 youw OwO sistew's x3 chambew :33 up. 
>_> You ^.^ knyow to-mowwow >_> is x3 the OwO wedding-day. 
xDD BIANCA. UwU Faweweww, x3 sweet mastews, both; UwU I ^w^ must be ;;w;; gonye. 
Exeunt ^w^ BIANCA ÚwÚ and SEWVANT 
:3 WUCENTIO. Faith, ^-^ mistwess, xDD then UwU I uWu have nyo cause to >_< stay. 
uWu Exit 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. OwO But UwU I uWu have cause to ^.^ pwy x3 into ÚwÚ this pedant; 
Methinks ^.^ he :33 wooks >_< as ^w^ though ^.^ he :3 wewe uWu in love. 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> if >w< thy thoughts, ^-^ Bianca, be UwU so humble 
;;w;; To ;;w;; cast >w< thy >w< wand'wing eyes on every stale- 
>_> Seize uWu thee :3 that list. ;;w;; If >_> once UwU I find uWu thee :33 wanging, 
^w^ HOWTENSIO xDD wiww be ^.^ quit with uWu thee ^.^ by ÚwÚ changing. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^w^ Padua. ^.^ Befowe ^-^ BAPTISTA'So ;;w;; house 

Entew UwU BAPTISTA, ;;w;; GWEMIO, xDD TWANyIO >_< as OwO WUCENTIO, KATHEWINyA, ^w^ BIANCA, 
>_< WUCENTIO >_< as >_< CAMBIO, ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

^-^ BAPTISTA. :33 [To xDD TWANyIO] :33 Signyiow ;;w;; Wucentio, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the uWu 'pointed day 
:33 That >_> Kathewinye ÚwÚ and Petwuchio >_> shouwd be >w< mawwied, 
xDD And yet ^.^ we hear nyot of UwU ouw son-in-law. 
>_> What xDD wiww be UwU said? >_> What mockewy xDD wiww >w< it be 
;;w;; To ^.^ want x3 the bwidegwoom when x3 the priest ^.^ attends 
;;w;; To speak x3 the cewemonyiaw rites of x3 mawwiage! 
>_> What ;;w;; says ^-^ Wucentio to ÚwÚ this ^-^ shame of uWu ouws? 
KATHEWINyA. No ^-^ shame >_> but minye; UwU I ;;w;; must, xDD fowsooth, be ;;w;; fowc'd 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 my uWu hand, x3 oppos'd OwO against x3 my uWu heawt, 
uWu Unto :3 a ÚwÚ mad-bwain wudesby, full of >w< spween, 
Who woo'd uWu in ^.^ haste ÚwÚ and means to x3 wed uWu at xDD weisuwe. 
UwU I told UwU you, I, ^.^ he UwU was :3 a frantic x3 foow, 
x3 Hiding :33 his UwU bittew jests uWu in >w< bwunt behaviour; 
^.^ And, to be noted fow :3 a ^.^ mewwy ^w^ man, 
^-^ He'ww ^.^ woo :3 a ;;w;; thousand, ÚwÚ 'point x3 the day of ^.^ mawwiage, 
^-^ Make ^w^ fwiends x3 invited, ÚwÚ and :3 pwocwaim x3 the xDD banns; 
ÚwÚ Yet >_< nyevew means to x3 wed :3 whewe ^.^ he hath woo'd. 
Now ^w^ must x3 the wowwd :33 point uWu at poor Kathewinye, 
xDD And >_> say 'Wo, there >_> is ^-^ mad Petwuchio's :3 wife, 
;;w;; If >w< it ^.^ wouwd uWu pwease ^.^ him come ÚwÚ and marry her!' 
^-^ TWANyIO. >w< Patience, ÚwÚ good Kathewinye, ÚwÚ and Baptista UwU too. 
>_> Upon x3 my :3 wife, Petwuchio means >_> but weww, 
Whatevew :3 fowtunye uWu stays ^.^ him from :33 his OwO wowd. 
;;w;; Though ^.^ he be bwunt, UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him passing OwO wise; 
;;w;; Though ^.^ he be >_> mewwy, yet withal uWu he's honest. 
KATHEWINyA. Wouwd >_> Kathewinye xDD had >_< nyevew :3 seen ^.^ him uWu though! 
UwU Exit, weeping, fowwowed ^.^ by ^w^ BIANCA ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ^w^ Go, OwO giww, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu bwame uWu thee nyow to >_> weep, 
For xDD such >w< an ^-^ injuwy ^.^ wouwd ^-^ vex :3 a xDD vewy saint; 
Much ^.^ mowe :3 a :33 shwew of >w< thy ;;w;; impatient humouw. 

Entew BIONDEWWO 

^-^ Mastew, x3 mastew! News, ÚwÚ and xDD such ;;w;; owd nyews >_< as xDD you >_< nyevew heard :33 of! 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Is >w< it x3 nyew ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd xDD too? How OwO may :3 that :3 be? 
BIONDELLO. Why, >_> is >w< it nyot nyews to hear of Petwuchio's :33 coming? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Is ^.^ he come? 
BIONDELLO. Why, no, sir. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. >_> What ^w^ then? 
BIONDELLO. >w< He >_> is :3 coming. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. x3 When xDD wiww ^.^ he be hewe? 
BIONDELLO. x3 When ^.^ he >w< stands :3 whewe UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ and sees xDD you :33 thewe. 
^-^ TWANyIO. But, say, >_> what to ^.^ thinye ;;w;; owd nyews? 
BIONDELLO. Why, Petwuchio >_> is x3 coming- uWu in :3 a x3 nyew ^w^ hat ÚwÚ and >w< an ;;w;; owd 
jerkin; :3 a :33 paiw of ;;w;; owd OwO bweeches thrice turn'd; :3 a :33 paiw of ÚwÚ boots 
:3 that uWu have :33 been >_> candwe-cases, one >_> buckwed, anyothew wac'd; >w< an ;;w;; owd 
rusty xDD swowd >_> ta'en x3 out of x3 the :33 town awmouwy, with :3 a xDD bwoken >_< hiwt, 
ÚwÚ and xDD chapewess; with >w< two xDD bwoken ^.^ points; :33 his UwU howse ÚwÚ hipp'd, with >w< an 
;;w;; owd motwey ^w^ saddwe ÚwÚ and stirrups of nyo :33 kindwed; >_< besides, >_< possess'd 
with x3 the ^.^ gwandews ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike to mose uWu in x3 the chinye, troubled with 
x3 the :33 wampass, xDD infected with x3 the :33 fashions, full of windgalls, sped 
with :3 spavins, >w< wayed with x3 the yewwows, x3 past >w< cuwe of x3 the >_< fives, 
x3 stawk spoiw'd with x3 the staggews, ÚwÚ begnyawn with x3 the >_> bots, >w< sway'd uWu in 
x3 the back ÚwÚ and shoulder-shotten, uWu nyeaw-wegg'd x3 befowe, ÚwÚ and with :3 a 
hawf-cheek'd >_> bit, ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 head-staww of sheep's >_> weathew ^w^ which, 
^.^ being :33 westwainyed to >_< keep ^.^ him from >_< stumbwing, hath :33 been often 
burst, ÚwÚ and nyow >_> wepaiwed with ^w^ knyots; one giwth six times piec'd, 
ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD woman's crupper of :3 vewuwe, which hath >w< two x3 wettews fow her 
xDD nyame ^.^ faiwwy uWu set down uWu in ÚwÚ studs, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ÚwÚ and there ^.^ piec'd with 
pack-thwead. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Who x3 comes with him? 
BIONDELLO. >_< O, ^w^ siw, :33 his >w< wackey, fow aww x3 the wowwd capawison'd ^.^ wike 
x3 the horse- with :3 a linen stock on one >_< weg ÚwÚ and :3 a >w< kewsey ^-^ boot-hose 
on x3 the ÚwÚ othew, :3 gawt'wed with :3 a red ÚwÚ and blue x3 wist; >w< an ;;w;; owd hat, ÚwÚ and 
x3 the humouw of >w< fowty ^w^ fancies pwick'd OwO in't fow :3 a ;;w;; feathew; :3 a 
monster, :3 a xDD vewy monstew uWu in ^w^ appawew, ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ wike :3 a Christian 
UwU footboy ow :3 a uWu gentweman's lackey. 
^-^ TWANyIO. 'Tis x3 some >w< odd humouw uWu pwicks ^.^ him to ÚwÚ this fashion; 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO oftentimes >_< wie xDD goes >_> but mean-appaweww'd. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad uWu he's come, howsoe'er ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 
BIONDELLO. Why, ^w^ siw, ^.^ he x3 comes not. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot >_> say ^.^ he ;;w;; comes? 
BIONDELLO. uWu Who? :3 that Petwuchio came? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Ay, :3 that Petwuchio >_< came. 
BIONDELLO. :3 Nyo, siw; UwU I >_> say :33 his UwU howse x3 comes with ^.^ him on :33 his back. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Why, ^w^ that's aww onye. 
BIONDELLO. Nyay, ^.^ by Saint UwU Jamy, 
UwU I howd xDD you :3 a penny, 
^-^ A UwU howse ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 man 
Is ^.^ mowe than one, 
xDD And yet nyot many. 

Entew xDD PETWUCHIO ÚwÚ and GRUMIO 

>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ Come, :3 whewe be these >_> gawwants? Who's uWu at ^w^ home? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. >_> You OwO awe ;;w;; wewcome, sir. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. xDD And yet UwU I come nyot well. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. xDD And yet xDD you UwU hawt not. 
^-^ TWANyIO. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so weww apparell'd 
;;w;; As UwU I ÚwÚ wish xDD you were. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ Wewe >w< it better, UwU I >_> shouwd >_< wush uWu in OwO thus. 
OwO But :3 whewe >_> is Kate? Whewe >_> is x3 my lovely bwide? 
How does x3 my father? Gentwes, uWu methinks xDD you fwown; 
xDD And ^-^ whewefowe ÚwÚ gaze ÚwÚ this xDD goodwy >_< company 
;;w;; As >_> if ;;w;; they saw x3 some wondwous ;;w;; monyument, 
;;w;; Some :33 comet ow >_< unyusuaw prodigy? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Why, ^w^ siw, xDD you ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 youw OwO wedding-day. 
First :3 wewe ^.^ we :3 sad, feawing xDD you ^.^ wouwd nyot >_< come; 
Now saddew, :3 that xDD you come UwU so unpwovided. 
OwO Fie, ;;w;; doff ÚwÚ this habit, ^-^ shame to x3 youw x3 estate, 
^-^ An >w< eye-sowe to UwU ouw solemn >_< festivaw! 
^-^ TWANyIO. xDD And tell >_> us >_> what ;;w;; occasion of impowt 
>_< Hath aww UwU so ^-^ wong detain'd xDD you from x3 youw :3 wife, 
xDD And sent xDD you ÚwÚ hithew UwU so ^-^ unwike >w< youwsewf? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. uWu Tedious >w< it :3 wewe to uWu teww, ÚwÚ and UwU hawsh to :3 heaw; 
:33 Sufficeth UwU I ^w^ am come to >_< keep x3 my word, 
;;w;; Though uWu in x3 some ÚwÚ pawt enfowced to >w< digwess, 
>_< Which uWu at ^.^ mowe leisure UwU I xDD wiww UwU so UwU excuse 
;;w;; As xDD you UwU shaww weww be ^-^ satisfied uWu withaw. 
OwO But :3 whewe >_> is Kate? UwU I xDD stay ^w^ too ^-^ wong from >w< hew; 
uWu The mownying >_< weaws, UwU 'tis time ^.^ we :3 wewe uWu at :3 chuwch. 
^-^ TWANyIO. xDD See nyot x3 youw bride uWu in these OwO unwevewent robes; 
Go to x3 my chamber, put on x3 cwothes of ^w^ minye. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ÚwÚ Nyot I, ^-^ bewieve OwO me; OwO thus I'll x3 visit her. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. OwO But thus, UwU I ^w^ twust, xDD you xDD wiww nyot marry her. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^-^ Good sooth, even ^.^ thus; >_< thewefowe UwU ha' donye with words; 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me ^w^ she's >w< mawwied, nyot >w< unto x3 my >_< cwothes. 
Could UwU I repair >_> what ^.^ she xDD wiww ^-^ weaw uWu in ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ can change these poor OwO accoutwements, 
uWu 'Twewe weww fow Kate ÚwÚ and xDD bettew fow :3 mysewf. 
OwO But >_> what :3 a >w< foow ^w^ am UwU I to ^.^ chat with UwU you, 
x3 When UwU I >_> shouwd bid ^w^ good-mowwow to x3 my bride 
xDD And UwU seaw x3 the ;;w;; titwe with :3 a lovely >_< kiss! 
Exeunt xDD PETWUCHIO ÚwÚ and xDD PETWUCHIO 
^-^ TWANyIO. >w< He hath x3 some meaning uWu in :33 his ^-^ mad attire. 
We xDD wiww :33 pewsuade :3 him, be >w< it ÚwÚ possibwe, 
;;w;; To put on xDD bettew ere ^.^ he OwO go to :3 chuwch. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. I'll ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ him ÚwÚ and >_> see x3 the event of UwU this. 
Exeunt UwU BAPTISTA, ;;w;; GWEMIO, BIONDELLO, ÚwÚ and >_< ATTENDENTS 
^-^ TWANyIO. OwO But to her wuv uWu concewnyeth >_> us to >_< ad 
:3 Hew father's wiking; which to ;;w;; bwing to pass, 
;;w;; As UwU I >w< befowe imparted to x3 youw worship, 
UwU I ^w^ am to get :3 a >_> man- whate'er ^.^ he be 
^.^ It skiwws nyot >_> much; we'll ;;w;; fit ^.^ him to UwU ouw >_< tuwn- 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww be Vincentio of Pisa, 
xDD And >_< make assurance OwO hewe uWu in >_> Padua 
Of :33 gweatew uWu sums than UwU I uWu have :3 pwomised. 
^w^ So UwU shaww xDD you ÚwÚ quietwy ^.^ enjoy x3 youw UwU hope 
xDD And marry x3 sweet Bianca with ÚwÚ consent. 
:3 WUCENTIO. ^.^ Wewe >w< it nyot :3 that x3 my fewwow x3 schoowmastew 
^-^ Doth ;;w;; watch Bianca's steps UwU so >_< nyawwowwy, 
uWu 'Twewe UwU good, UwU methinks, to ^.^ steaw UwU ouw mawwiage; 
>_< Which >_> once pewfowm'd, wet aww x3 the wowwd >_> say no, 
I'll >_< keep >_< minye UwU own ;;w;; despite of aww x3 the wowwd. 
^-^ TWANyIO. :33 That ^.^ by >_> degwees ^.^ we >_> mean to wook x3 into 
xDD And ;;w;; watch UwU ouw ;;w;; vantage uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ businyess; 
^-^ We'ww ^-^ uvw-weach x3 the greybeard, uWu Gwemio, 
uWu The nyawwow-pwying ÚwÚ fathew, Minola, 
uWu The ^w^ quaint :33 musician, :3 amowous xDD Wicio- 
All fow x3 my xDD mastew's ^w^ sake, xDD Wucentio. 

^.^ We-entew GREMIO 

:33 Signyiow uWu Gwemio, ^-^ came xDD you from x3 the church? 
^-^ GWEMIO. ;;w;; As ^w^ wiwwingwy >_< as ;;w;; e'ew UwU I ^-^ came from school. 
^-^ TWANyIO. xDD And >_> is x3 the bride ÚwÚ and bwidegwoom xDD coming ^w^ home? 
^-^ GWEMIO. ^-^ A >_< bwidegwoom, >_> say you? 'Tis :3 a >_< gwoom :33 indeed, 
^-^ A gwumbwing gwoom, ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 the girl UwU shaww find. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Curster than >_< she? Why, UwU 'tis >_> impossibwe. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Why, uWu he's :3 a deviw, :3 a deviw, :3 a xDD vewy xDD fiend. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Why, ^w^ she's :3 a deviw, :3 a deviw, x3 the >_> deviw's uWu dam. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Tut, ^w^ she's :3 a lamb, :3 a uWu duv, :3 a x3 foow, to x3 him! 
I'll tell UwU you, Sir xDD Wucentio: when x3 the priest 
Should ^w^ ask >_> if >_> Kathewinye >_> shouwd be :33 his :3 wife, 
^-^ 'Ay, ^.^ by gogs-wouns' quoth xDD he, ÚwÚ and >w< swowe UwU so ÚwÚ woud 
^.^ That, aww ÚwÚ amaz'd, x3 the priest wet faww x3 the book; 
xDD And >_< as ^.^ he >_> stoop'd again to OwO take >w< it up, 
This >w< mad-bwain'd bwidegwoom >_> took ^.^ him xDD such :3 a :33 cuff 
:33 That down UwU feww priest ÚwÚ and ^-^ book, ÚwÚ and ^w^ book ÚwÚ and pwiest. 
x3 'Nyow OwO take them ^w^ up,' quoth ^.^ he xDD 'if xDD any xDD wist.' 
^-^ TWANyIO. >_> What uWu said x3 the >_> wench, when ^.^ he wose ^w^ again? 
^-^ GWEMIO. Twembwed ÚwÚ and UwU shook, fow >w< why ^.^ he stamp'd ÚwÚ and >w< swowe 
;;w;; As >_> if x3 the vicaw meant to UwU cozen ^.^ him. 
OwO But ÚwÚ aftew UwU many uWu cewemonyies donye 
>w< He ;;w;; cawws fow :33 winye: >_> 'A health!' quoth xDD he, >_< as >_> if 
>w< He xDD had :33 been >_> abwoad, ^w^ cawousing to :33 his >_> mates 
>w< Aftew :3 a ^w^ stowm; :33 quaff'd x3 off x3 the muscadel, 
xDD And OwO thwew x3 the sops aww uWu in x3 the sexton's >w< face, 
>_> Having nyo othew reason 
OwO But :3 that :33 his ^w^ beawd ^-^ gwew >_< thin ÚwÚ and hungerly 
xDD And ^w^ seem'd to ^w^ ask ^.^ him sops >_< as ^.^ he UwU was ^w^ dwinking. 
This :33 donye, ^.^ he >_> took x3 the bride about x3 the neck, 
xDD And >w< kiss'd her lips with xDD such :3 a ;;w;; cwamowous ;;w;; smack 
:33 That uWu at x3 the >w< pawting aww x3 the ^-^ chuwch uWu did uWu echo. 
xDD And I, ^-^ seeing uWu this, ^-^ came thence fow xDD vewy OwO shame; 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew uWu me, UwU I knyow, x3 the UwU wout >_> is :3 coming. 
>w< Such :3 a ^-^ mad ^.^ mawwiage >_< nyevew UwU was befowe. 
Hawk, x3 hawk! UwU I hear x3 the xDD minstwews play. [Music ÚwÚ pways] 

Entew >_< PETWUCHIO, KATHEWINyA, ^w^ BIANCA, UwU BAPTISTA, HOWTENSIO, 
GRUMIO, ÚwÚ and twain 

>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ Gentwemen ÚwÚ and OwO fwiends, UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw OwO pains. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you think to ÚwÚ dinye with ;;w;; me uWu to-day, 
xDD And uWu have pwepaw'd great OwO stowe of ÚwÚ wedding cheer 
OwO But UwU so >w< it is- x3 my ^.^ haste xDD doth caww ;;w;; me hence, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe OwO hewe UwU I >_> mean to OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ^-^ Is't OwO possibwe xDD you xDD wiww OwO away :3 to-nyight? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I ^w^ must OwO away ^w^ to-day >w< befowe >w< nyight x3 come. 
^-^ Make >w< it nyo UwU wondew; >_> if xDD you UwU knyew x3 my business, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd entweat ;;w;; me rather OwO go than >_< stay. 
^.^ And, xDD honyest xDD company, UwU I >_> thank xDD you aww 
:33 That uWu have beheld ;;w;; me UwU give OwO away mysewf 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this UwU most *giggles shyly* patient, sweet, ÚwÚ and virtuous x3 wife. 
OwO Dinye with x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ dwink :3 a ^.^ heawth to x3 me. 
For UwU I ^w^ must OwO hence; ÚwÚ and >_< faweweww to xDD you all. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Let >_> us entweat xDD you xDD stay >w< tiww ÚwÚ aftew uWu dinnyew. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ It OwO may nyot >w< be. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Let ;;w;; me entweat OwO you. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot >w< be. 
KATHEWINyA. Let ;;w;; me entweat OwO you. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I ^w^ am OwO content. 
KATHEWINyA. ^w^ Awe xDD you :3 content to stay? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I ^w^ am :3 content xDD you UwU shaww entweat ;;w;; me >_< stay; 
OwO But yet nyot ;;w;; stay, entweat ;;w;; me >w< how xDD you ;;w;; can. 
KATHEWINyA. >_> Nyow, >_> if xDD you wuv uWu me, >_< stay. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Gwumio, x3 my horse. 
GRUMIO. Ay, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; they be weady; x3 the oats uWu have eaten x3 the :33 howses. 
KATHEWINyA. Nyay, >w< then, 
Do >_> what xDD thou x3 canst, UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO go to-day; 
:3 Nyo, nor ^.^ to-mowwow, nyot >w< tiww UwU I uWu pwease :3 mysewf. 
uWu The doow >_> is open, siw; there wies x3 youw way; 
>_> You OwO may be ^.^ jogging whiwes x3 youw ÚwÚ boots OwO awe green; 
For uWu me, I'll nyot be >_> gonye >w< tiww UwU I uWu pwease :3 mysewf. 
'Tis ^.^ wike you'ww ^-^ pwuv :3 a jowwy uWu suwwy >_< gwoom 
:33 That OwO take >w< it on xDD you uWu at x3 the xDD fiwst UwU so UwU woundwy. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. x3 O ^.^ Kate, :3 content ÚwÚ thee; :33 pwithee be nyot >w< angwy. 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I xDD wiww be angry; >_> what x3 hast xDD thou to ^-^ do? 
:3 Fathew, be ^.^ quiet; ^.^ he UwU shaww xDD stay x3 my xDD weisuwe. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Ay, marry, ^w^ siw, nyow >w< it ÚwÚ begins to >w< wowk. 
KATHEWINyA. ÚwÚ Gentwemen, forward to x3 the bwidaw uWu dinnyew. 
UwU I >_> see :3 a OwO woman OwO may be UwU made :3 a >w< foow 
;;w;; If ^.^ she xDD had nyot :3 a ^w^ spiwit to :33 wesist. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^-^ They UwU shaww OwO go forward, ^.^ Kate, uWu at >w< thy >_> command. 
;;w;; Obey x3 the :3 bwide, xDD you :3 that >_< attend on >w< hew; 
Go to x3 the OwO feast, ^w^ wevew ÚwÚ and :33 dominyeew, 
:3 Cawouse full UwU measuwe to her maidenhead; 
^w^ Be ^-^ mad ÚwÚ and >_> mewwy, ow OwO go ^w^ hang youwsewves. 
OwO But fow x3 my ^w^ bonny ^.^ Kate, ^.^ she ^w^ must with x3 me. 
Nyay, wook nyot big, nor stamp, nor ^-^ stawe, nor x3 fwet; 
UwU I xDD wiww be >_< mastew of >_> what >_> is >_< minye >w< own- 
:33 She >_> is x3 my UwU goods, x3 my chattews, ^.^ she >_> is x3 my house, 
OwO My :33 househowd stuff, x3 my >_> fiewd, x3 my ^-^ bawn, 
OwO My horse, x3 my >_< ox, x3 my ass, x3 my xDD any ÚwÚ thing, 
xDD And OwO hewe ^.^ she stands; :33 touch her ;;w;; whoevew dare; 
I'll ;;w;; bwing >_< minye uWu action on x3 the OwO pwoudest ^.^ he 
:33 That xDD stops x3 my uWu way uWu in ^w^ Padua. Gwumio, 
Draw fowth >w< thy weapon; ^.^ we OwO awe beset with ÚwÚ thieves; 
ÚwÚ Wescue >w< thy ^-^ mistwess, >_> if xDD thou be :3 a man. 
Fear >_> nyot, x3 sweet ^.^ wench; ;;w;; they UwU shaww nyot :33 touch ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; Kate; 
I'll >_< buckwew uWu thee OwO against :3 a >_< miwwion. 
Exeunt >_< PETWUCHIO, KATHEWINyA, ÚwÚ and GRUMIO 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Nyay, wet them x3 go, :3 a coupwe of :33 quiet ÚwÚ onyes. 
^-^ GWEMIO. ^-^ Went ;;w;; they nyot ^w^ quickwy, UwU I >_> shouwd ^-^ die with laughing. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Of aww ^-^ mad matches, >_< nyevew UwU was x3 the >_> wike. 
:3 WUCENTIO. Mistwess, UwU what's x3 youw opinyion of x3 youw ^-^ sistew? 
xDD BIANCA. ^.^ That, ^.^ being ^-^ mad herself, ^w^ she's madly ^w^ mated. 
^-^ GWEMIO. UwU I :33 wawwant :3 him, Petwuchio >_> is ^.^ Kated. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Neighbours ÚwÚ and OwO fwiends, ^w^ though bride ÚwÚ and bwidegwoom wants 
For to suppwy x3 the pwaces uWu at x3 the ^-^ tabwe, 
>_> You ^.^ knyow there wants nyo ;;w;; junkets uWu at x3 the x3 feast. 
;;w;; Wucentio, xDD you UwU shaww suppwy x3 the bridegroom's pwace; 
xDD And wet Bianca OwO take her OwO sistew's uWu woom. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Shall x3 sweet Bianca x3 pwactise >w< how to bride :33 it? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. :33 She UwU shaww, xDD Wucentio. ^.^ Come, xDD gentwemen, >_> wet's ÚwÚ go. 
Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
UwU PETWUCHIO'S countwy ;;w;; house 

Entew GRUMIO 

GRUMIO. OwO Fie, fie on aww ^w^ tiwed ;;w;; jades, on aww ^-^ mad mastews, ÚwÚ and aww 
fouw :3 ways! Was OwO evew x3 man UwU so xDD beaten? Was OwO evew x3 man UwU so uWu way'd? Was 
OwO evew x3 man UwU so ÚwÚ weawy? UwU I ^w^ am sent >w< befowe to >_< make :3 a ^w^ fiwe, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they OwO awe 
xDD coming ÚwÚ aftew to wawm OwO them. Now :3 wewe nyot UwU I :3 a xDD wittwe >_> pot ÚwÚ and >w< soon 
>_> hot, x3 my xDD vewy lips ^w^ might UwU fweeze to x3 my teeth, x3 my >_> tongue to x3 the ÚwÚ woof 
of x3 my uWu mouth, x3 my >_< heawt uWu in x3 my bewwy, ere UwU I >_> shouwd come ^.^ by :3 a fire to 
^-^ thaw x3 me. OwO But UwU I with ;;w;; bwowing x3 the fire UwU shaww wawm >_< mysewf; for, 
^-^ considewing x3 the x3 weathew, :3 a ^.^ tawwew x3 man than UwU I xDD wiww OwO take cowd. 
uWu Howwa, ho! OwO Cuwtis! 

Entew xDD CUWTIS 

>w< CUWTIS. Who >_> is :3 that ;;w;; cawws UwU so coldly? 
GRUMIO. ^-^ A ^.^ piece of ice. ;;w;; If xDD thou doubt :33 it, xDD thou uWu mayst >w< swide from x3 my 
shoulder to x3 my OwO heew with nyo :33 gweatew :3 a >w< wun >_> but x3 my >_> head ÚwÚ and x3 my 
;;w;; nyeck. ^-^ A ^w^ fiwe, ÚwÚ good Curtis. 
>w< CUWTIS. Is x3 my >_< mastew ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< wife uWu coming, Grumio? 
GRUMIO. >_< O, :33 ay, xDD Cuwtis, ^-^ ay; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^w^ fiwe, x3 fiwe; ;;w;; cast on nyo 
>_> watew. 
>w< CUWTIS. Is ^.^ she UwU so :3 hot :3 a :33 shwew >_< as ^w^ she's >w< wepowted? 
GRUMIO. :33 She UwU was, ÚwÚ good xDD Cuwtis, >w< befowe ÚwÚ this frost; >_> but xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st 
winter >_> tames ^w^ man, ^w^ woman, ÚwÚ and beast; fow >w< it hath tam'd x3 my ;;w;; owd 
^.^ mastew, ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 nyew ^-^ mistwess, ÚwÚ and myself, fewwow Curtis. 
>w< CUWTIS. :33 Away, xDD you thwee-inch foow! UwU I ^w^ am nyo beast. 
GRUMIO. ^w^ Am UwU I >_> but >w< thwee >_< inches? Why, >w< thy >_> hown >_> is :3 a xDD foot, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^-^ wong 
^w^ am UwU I uWu at x3 the weast. OwO But wiwt xDD thou >_< make :3 a ^w^ fiwe, ow UwU shaww UwU I :3 compwain 
on uWu thee to UwU ouw ^-^ mistwess, x3 whose :33 hand- ^.^ she ^.^ being nyow uWu at :33 hand- xDD thou 
shalt >w< soon feew, to >w< thy UwU cowd comfort, fow ^.^ being slow uWu in >w< thy :3 hot 
office? 
>w< CUWTIS. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ÚwÚ good Gwumio, tell ;;w;; me >w< how xDD goes x3 the :33 wowwd? 
GRUMIO. ^-^ A UwU cowd ^w^ wowwd, xDD Cuwtis, uWu in every ^.^ office >_> but thine; ÚwÚ and 
>_< thewefowe >_> fiwe. Do >w< thy >_< duty, ÚwÚ and uWu have >w< thy >_< duty, fow x3 my >_< mastew ÚwÚ and 
mistwess OwO awe almost uWu fwozen to death. 
>w< CUWTIS. >_> Thewe's fire weady; ÚwÚ and OwO thewefowe, ÚwÚ good Gwumio, x3 the nyews? 
GRUMIO. Why, >_> 'Jack ^.^ boy! :3 ho, ÚwÚ boy!' ÚwÚ and >_< as much nyews >_< as xDD thou wilt. 
>w< CUWTIS. ^.^ Come, xDD you OwO awe UwU so full of UwU cony-catching! 
GRUMIO. Why, OwO thewefowe, x3 fiwe; fow UwU I uWu have caught extweme cowd. 
:3 Whewe's x3 the >w< cook? Is OwO suppew :3 weady, x3 the ;;w;; house ^w^ twimm'd, wushes 
;;w;; stwew'd, xDD cobwebs swept, x3 the sewving-men uWu in uWu theiw x3 nyew :33 fustian, 
uWu theiw ^-^ white stockings, ÚwÚ and every officer :33 his ÚwÚ wedding-gawment ^-^ on? 
^w^ Be x3 the ^.^ jacks >w< faiw :33 within, x3 the jills >w< faiw without, x3 the carpets 
:33 waid, ÚwÚ and evewything uWu in >_< owdew? 
>w< CUWTIS. All weady; ÚwÚ and OwO thewefowe, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; nyews. 
GRUMIO. First ^.^ knyow x3 my UwU howse >_> is tiwed; x3 my >_< mastew ÚwÚ and mistwess fall'n 
OwO out. 
>w< CUWTIS. ÚwÚ How? 
GRUMIO. UwU Out of uWu theiw saddles x3 into x3 the diwt; ÚwÚ and theweby uWu hangs :3 a 
^-^ tawe. 
>w< CUWTIS. :3 Wet's ^.^ ha't, ÚwÚ good Gwumio. 
GRUMIO. uWu Wend ^.^ thinye :3 eaw. 
>w< CUWTIS. ;;w;; Hewe. 
GRUMIO. xDD Thewe. >_< [Stwiking >w< him] 
>w< CUWTIS. This UwU 'tis to x3 feew :3 a :33 tawe, nyot to hear :3 a ^-^ tawe. 
GRUMIO. xDD And >_< thewefowe UwU 'tis ^w^ caww'd :3 a ^-^ sensibwe tale; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this :33 cuff 
UwU was >_> but to :3 knyock uWu at x3 youw caw ÚwÚ and :33 beseech wist'nying. Now UwU I xDD begin: 
Impwimis, ^.^ we ^-^ came down :3 a fouw >w< hiww, x3 my >_< mastew riding x3 behind x3 my 
:3 mistwess- 
>w< CUWTIS. UwU Both of one ^-^ howse? 
GRUMIO. x3 What's :3 that to thee? 
>w< CUWTIS. Why, :3 a horse. 
GRUMIO. Teww xDD thou x3 the ^-^ tawe. OwO But >w< hadst xDD thou nyot cwoss'd uWu me, xDD thou 
shouwdst uWu have heard >w< how her UwU howse UwU feww ÚwÚ and ^.^ she :33 undew her :33 howse; 
xDD thou shouwdst uWu have heard uWu in >w< how UwU miwy :3 a pwace, >w< how ^.^ she UwU was 
:3 bemoiw'd, >w< how ^.^ he left her with x3 the UwU howse ;;w;; upon hew, >w< how ^.^ he xDD beat ;;w;; me 
uWu because her UwU howse ;;w;; stumbwed, >w< how ^.^ she UwU waded ^w^ thwough x3 the OwO diwt to 
pluck ^.^ him x3 off uWu me, >w< how ^.^ he ^w^ swowe, >w< how ^.^ she pray'd :3 that >_< nyevew pray'd 
x3 befowe, >w< how UwU I cwied, >w< how x3 the :3 howses wan away, >w< how her >_> bwidwe UwU was 
burst, >w< how UwU I wost x3 my :33 cwuppew- with UwU many ^.^ things of ÚwÚ wowthy xDD memowy, 
which nyow UwU shaww ^-^ die uWu in >_> obwivion, ÚwÚ and xDD thou ^-^ wetuwn unexperienc'd to 
>w< thy x3 gwave. 
>w< CUWTIS. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this weck'nying ^.^ he >_> is ^.^ mowe :33 shwew than ^w^ she. 
GRUMIO. Ay, ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD thou ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO pwoudest of xDD you aww UwU shaww find 
when ^.^ he x3 comes >_> home. OwO But >_> what tawk UwU I of :3 this? ;;w;; Caww fowth 
uWu Nyathanyiew, uWu Joseph, ^w^ Nyichowas, xDD Phiwip, :3 Wawtew, Sugawsop, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
rest; wet uWu theiw heads be sleekly ÚwÚ comb'd, uWu theiw blue coats bwush'd 
ÚwÚ and uWu theiw garters of >w< an uWu indiffewent ^-^ knyit; wet them :3 cuwtsy with 
uWu theiw left ^.^ wegs, ÚwÚ and nyot presume to :33 touch :3 a >_< haiw of x3 my >w< mastcw's 
howse-taiw >w< tiww ;;w;; they :3 kiss uWu theiw ^w^ hands. ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they aww ^-^ weady? 
>w< CUWTIS. ^-^ They x3 awe. 
GRUMIO. ;;w;; Caww them forth. 
>w< CUWTIS. Do xDD you heaw, ho? >_> You ^w^ must :3 meet x3 my ^.^ mastew, to >_< countenyance x3 my 
^w^ mistwess. 
GRUMIO. Why, ^.^ she hath :3 a OwO face of her own. 
>w< CUWTIS. Who xDD knyows nyot ^-^ that? 
GRUMIO. Thou, >w< it seems, :3 that ;;w;; cawws fow >_< company to >_< countenyance her. 
>w< CUWTIS. UwU I caww them fowth to cwedit her. 
GRUMIO. Why, ^.^ she x3 comes to :3 bowwow >_< nyothing of OwO them. 

Entew fouw ow five :33 SEWVINGMEN 

uWu NyATHANyIEW. Welcome ^.^ home, Gwumio! 
;;w;; PHIWIP. How now, Gwumio! 
;;w;; JOSEPH. What, Gwumio! 
NICHOLAS. Fellow Gwumio! 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. How now, ;;w;; owd lad! 
GRUMIO. Welcome, you!- >w< how now, you!- x3 what, you!- fewwow, you!- ÚwÚ and 
OwO thus much fow ^.^ gweeting. >_> Nyow, x3 my uWu spwuce uWu companyions, >_> is aww :3 weady, 
ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ things ^-^ nyeat? 
uWu NyATHANyIEW. All ^.^ things >_> is weady. How nyeaw >_> is UwU ouw ÚwÚ mastew? 
GRUMIO. E'en uWu at uWu hand, awighted ^.^ by >_< this; ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe be nyot- 
OwO Cock's ^-^ passion, ^-^ siwence! UwU I hear x3 my master. 

Entew xDD PETWUCHIO ÚwÚ and :3 KATHEWINyA 

>_< PETWUCHIO. Whewe be these knyaves? What, nyo x3 man uWu at doow 
;;w;; To howd x3 my x3 stiwwup nor to OwO take x3 my UwU howse! 
Whewe >_> is uWu Nyathanyiew, Gregory, Philip? 
^w^ AWW >w< SEWVANTS. Here, UwU hewe, siw; UwU hewe, sir. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Here, sir! UwU hewe, sir! UwU hewe, sir! UwU hewe, sir! 
>_> You ^w^ woggew-headed ÚwÚ and :3 unpowish'd OwO gwooms! 
What, nyo ÚwÚ attendance? nyo :33 wegawd? nyo xDD duty? 
Whewe >_> is x3 the >_< foowish x3 knyave UwU I sent ;;w;; befowe? 
GRUMIO. Here, siw; >_< as >_< foowish >_< as UwU I UwU was befowe. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. YOU peasant ;;w;; swain! xDD you UwU whoweson malt-horse OwO dwudge! 
Did UwU I nyot bid uWu thee :3 meet ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the ^-^ pawk 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing :3 awong these wascaw knyaves with thee? 
GRUMIO. ;;w;; Nyathanyiew's uWu coat, ^w^ siw, UwU was nyot fuwwy made, 
xDD And ^-^ Gabwiew's UwU pumps :3 wewe aww xDD unpink'd :33 i' x3 th' heel; 
>_> Thewe UwU was nyo >_> wink to colour Peter's hat, 
xDD And OwO Wawtew's ÚwÚ daggew UwU was nyot come from :33 sheathing; 
>_> Thewe :3 wewe >_< nyonye OwO finye >_> but UwU Adam, :3 Wawph, ÚwÚ and Gregory; 
uWu The xDD west :3 wewe :3 wagged, :3 owd, ÚwÚ and beggawwy; 
Yet, >_< as ;;w;; they awe, OwO hewe OwO awe ;;w;; they come to :3 meet OwO you. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^w^ Go, wascaws, OwO go ÚwÚ and :3 fetch x3 my OwO suppew ^.^ in. 
Exeunt x3 some of x3 the :33 SEWVINGMEN 

OwO [Sings] Whewe >_> is x3 the >w< wife :3 that wate UwU I ;;w;; wed? 
Whewe OwO awe ^w^ those- 

xDD Sit ;;w;; down, ^.^ Kate, ÚwÚ and x3 wewcome. ;;w;; Soud, soud, soud, >_< soud! 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ SEWVANTS with OwO suppew 

Why, xDD when, UwU I ^.^ say? Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 sweet ^.^ Kate, be x3 mewwy. 
:33 Off with x3 my ^-^ boots, xDD you wogues! xDD you >_> viwwains, xDD when? 

OwO [Sings] ^.^ It UwU was x3 the >w< fwiaw of x3 owdews ^w^ gwey, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he fowth :33 wawked on :33 his xDD way- 

Out, xDD you UwU wogue! xDD you pluck x3 my :33 foot ^-^ awwy; 
^.^ Take :3 that, ÚwÚ and mend x3 the ^-^ pwucking x3 off x3 the :3 othew. 
[Strikes >w< him] 
^w^ Be >_> mewwy, OwO Kate. ;;w;; Some >_< watew, UwU hewe, x3 what, ho! 

Entew one with UwU watew 

:3 Whewe's x3 my spaniel Troilus? Siwwah, get xDD you hence, 
xDD And bid x3 my xDD cousin >w< Fewdinyand come >_< hithew: 
uWu Exit ÚwÚ SEWVINGMAN 
One, ^.^ Kate, :3 that xDD you ^w^ must :3 kiss ÚwÚ and be >_> acquainted with. 
Whewe OwO awe x3 my xDD swippews? Shall UwU I uWu have x3 some ^-^ watew? 
^.^ Come, ^.^ Kate, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wash, ÚwÚ and wewcome heawtiwy. 
>_> You UwU whoweson :33 viwwain! xDD wiww xDD you wet >w< it :3 faww? [Strikes >w< him] 
KATHEWINyA. >w< Patience, UwU I pray uWu you; uWu 'twas :3 a ;;w;; fauwt >_> unwiwwing. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^-^ A whoweson, UwU beetwe-headed, fwap-eaw'd uWu knyave! 
^.^ Come, ^.^ Kate, sit down; UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you uWu have :3 a :33 stomach. 
Will xDD you UwU give thanks, x3 sweet ^.^ Kate, ow >_> ewse UwU shaww >_< I? 
x3 What's :3 this? Mutton? 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. uWu Ay. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Who ^.^ bwought :33 it? 
^w^ PETEW. ^.^ I. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. 'Tis >w< buwnt; ÚwÚ and UwU so >_> is aww x3 the ^w^ meat. 
>_> What ^.^ dogs OwO awe xDD these? Whewe >_> is x3 the wascaw >w< cook? 
How x3 duwst xDD you x3 viwwains ;;w;; bwing >w< it from x3 the ^.^ dwessew 
xDD And serve >w< it OwO thus to ;;w;; me :3 that wuv >w< it ^w^ nyot? 
There, OwO take >w< it to UwU you, :3 twenchews, cups, ÚwÚ and aww; 
[Throws x3 the meat, ^-^ etc., uWu at ÚwÚ them] 
>_> You heedwess joltheads ÚwÚ and ^w^ unmannyew'd OwO swaves! 
What, UwU do xDD you gwumbwe? I'll be with xDD you stwaight. 
Exeunt ^-^ SEWVANTS 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I pray UwU you, ^.^ husband, be nyot UwU so >w< disquiet; 
uWu The :3 meat UwU was weww, >_> if xDD you :3 wewe UwU so ÚwÚ contented. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ Kate, uWu 'twas burnt ÚwÚ and dwied away, 
xDD And UwU I >w< expwesswy ^w^ am UwU fowbid to :33 touch uWu it; 
For >w< it :33 engendews ^w^ chowew, planteth >_> angew; 
xDD And xDD bettew >w< 'twewe :3 that both of >_> us uWu did OwO fast, 
ÚwÚ Since, of ;;w;; ouwsewves, ouwsewves OwO awe xDD chowewic, 
Than >w< feed >w< it with xDD such >w< uvw-woasted ÚwÚ fwesh. 
^w^ Be UwU patient; to-mowwow 't UwU shaww be >_> mended. 
xDD And fow ÚwÚ this >w< nyight we'll ÚwÚ fast fow UwU company. 
^.^ Come, UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing uWu thee to >w< thy bwidaw ^.^ chambew. Exeunt 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ SEWVANTS uWu sevewawwy 

uWu NyATHANyIEW. Petew, :33 didst OwO evew >_> see x3 the ^.^ wike? 
^w^ PETEW. >w< He :33 kiwws her uWu in her UwU own humouw. 

^.^ We-entew xDD CUWTIS 

GRUMIO. Whewe >_> is uWu he? 
>w< CUWTIS. ^w^ In her ^.^ chambew. ^.^ Making :3 a sewmon of continyency to hew, 
xDD And ;;w;; waiws, ÚwÚ and sweaws, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wates, :3 that uWu she, poor x3 souw, 
xDD Knyows nyot which uWu way to x3 stand, to look, to >_< speak. 
xDD And >_> sits >_< as one x3 nyew ^.^ wisen from :3 a UwU dweam. 
:33 Away, away! fow ^.^ he >_> is xDD coming hithew. Exeunt 

^.^ We-entew xDD PETWUCHIO 

>_< PETWUCHIO. ^-^ Thus uWu have UwU I UwU powiticwy ÚwÚ begun x3 my reign, 
xDD And UwU 'tis x3 my UwU hope to >w< end successfuwwy. 
OwO My fawcon nyow >_> is ^-^ shawp ÚwÚ and passing >_< empty. 
xDD And >w< tiww ^.^ she >_< stoop ^.^ she ^w^ must nyot be full-gorg'd, 
For xDD then ^.^ she >_< nyevew :33 wooks ;;w;; upon her wuwe. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew uWu way UwU I uWu have to x3 man x3 my haggawd, 
;;w;; To >_< make her come, ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow her keepew's >_> caww, 
:33 That ;;w;; is, to ;;w;; watch hew, >_< as ^.^ we ;;w;; watch these :33 kites 
:33 That uWu bate ÚwÚ and beat, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot be xDD obedient. 
:33 She eat nyo :3 meat uWu to-day, nor >_< nyonye UwU shaww ;;w;; eat; 
UwU Wast >w< nyight ^.^ she slept >_> nyot, nor ^.^ to-nyight ^.^ she UwU shaww x3 nyot; 
;;w;; As with x3 the meat, x3 some ^.^ undesewved ;;w;; fauwt 
I'll find about x3 the x3 making of x3 the bed; 
xDD And OwO hewe I'll fwing x3 the ;;w;; piwwow, there x3 the xDD bowstew, 
This uWu way x3 the coverlet, anyothew uWu way x3 the ^.^ sheets; 
Ay, ÚwÚ and uWu amid ÚwÚ this huwwy UwU I intend 
:33 That aww >_> is donye uWu in reverend :3 cawe of xDD hew- 
^.^ And, uWu in conclusion, ^.^ she UwU shaww ;;w;; watch aww ^w^ nyight; 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ she chance to nod I'll waiw ÚwÚ and uWu bwaww 
xDD And with x3 the ^-^ cwamouw >_< keep her still ^w^ awake. 
This >_> is :3 a uWu way to OwO kiww :3 a >w< wife with kindnyess, 
xDD And OwO thus I'll ^.^ cuwb her ^-^ mad ÚwÚ and headstrong humouw. 
>w< He :3 that xDD knyows xDD bettew >w< how to >w< tame :3 a shrew, 
Now wet ^.^ him speak; UwU 'tis xDD chawity to show. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^w^ Padua. ^.^ Befowe >_> BAPTISTA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew xDD TWANyIO >_< as OwO WUCENTIO, ÚwÚ and ^w^ HOWTENSIO >_< as WICIO 

^-^ TWANyIO. Is 't ÚwÚ possibwe, :33 fwiend >_< Wicio, :3 that Mistress Bianca 
^-^ Doth ^w^ fancy xDD any othew >_> but uWu Wucentio? 
UwU I tell UwU you, ^w^ siw, ^.^ she bears ;;w;; me >w< faiw uWu in >w< hand. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. UwU Siw, to satisfy xDD you uWu in >_> what UwU I uWu have said, 
;;w;; Stand ^.^ by ÚwÚ and mark x3 the ^w^ mannyew of :33 his >_> teaching. 
^w^ [They stand aside] 

Entew ^w^ BIANCA, ÚwÚ and >_< WUCENTIO >_< as >_< CAMBIO 

:3 WUCENTIO. >_> Nyow, ^-^ mistwess, pwofit xDD you uWu in >_> what xDD you >_< wead? 
xDD BIANCA. What, ^.^ mastew, ^w^ wead UwU you, First wesowve ;;w;; me x3 that. 
:3 WUCENTIO. UwU I ^w^ wead :3 that UwU I ^-^ pwofess, 'The Awt to >_< Wuv.' 
xDD BIANCA. xDD And OwO may xDD you prove, ^w^ siw, >_< mastew of x3 youw art! 
:3 WUCENTIO. While UwU you, x3 sweet deaw, ^-^ pwuv mistwess of x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
^w^ [They >_> wetiwe] 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. ;;w;; Quick >w< pwoceedews, >w< mawwy! Now tell uWu me, UwU I pray, 
>_> You :3 that x3 duwst >_< sweaw :3 that x3 youw Mistress Blanca 
UwU Wov'd >_< nyonye uWu in x3 the wowwd UwU so weww >_< as xDD Wucentio. 
^-^ TWANyIO. x3 O xDD despitefuw love! ÚwÚ unconstant xDD womankind! 
UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, >_< Wicio, ÚwÚ this >_> is wondewfuw. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. ^-^ Mistake nyo mowe; UwU I ^w^ am nyot Licio. 
x3 Nyow :3 a :33 musician >_< as UwU I xDD seem to be; 
OwO But one :3 that ^w^ scown to ^w^ wive uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD disguise 
For xDD such :3 a one >_< as >w< weaves :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman 
xDD And x3 makes :3 a god of xDD such :3 a cuwwion. 
Knyow, ^w^ siw, :3 that UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ caww'd >w< Howtensio. 
^-^ TWANyIO. :33 Signyiow xDD Howtensio, UwU I uWu have often heard 
Of x3 youw xDD entiwe :3 affection to Bianca; 
xDD And xDD since >_< minye eyes OwO awe >_> witnyess of her wightnyess, 
UwU I xDD wiww with UwU you, >_> if xDD you be UwU so :3 contented, 
Forswear Bianca ÚwÚ and her wuv fow ever. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. :3 See, >w< how ;;w;; they :3 kiss ÚwÚ and court! :33 Signyiow ;;w;; Wucentio, 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 my uWu hand, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe UwU I x3 fiwmwy vow 
xDD Nyevew to ^.^ woo her >_> mowe, >_> but UwU do >w< fowsweaw hew, 
;;w;; As one >_< unwowthy aww x3 the xDD fowmew ;;w;; favouws 
:33 That UwU I uWu have fondwy flatter'd her uWu withaw. 
^-^ TWANyIO. xDD And OwO hewe UwU I OwO take x3 the ^.^ wike xDD unfeignyed ;;w;; oath, 
xDD Nyevew to marry with her ^w^ though ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd >_< entweat; 
>w< Fie on >_> hew! xDD See >w< how OwO beastwy ^.^ she xDD doth court x3 him! 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Wouwd aww x3 the wowwd >_> but ^.^ he xDD had quite forsworn! 
For uWu me, :3 that UwU I OwO may x3 suwewy >_< keep >_< minye ;;w;; oath, 
UwU I xDD wiww be mawwied to :3 a >_> weawtwwy ^.^ widow 
Ere >w< thwee OwO days pass, which hath >_< as ^-^ wong :3 wov'd ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu have :3 wov'd ÚwÚ this OwO pwoud uWu disdainfuw x3 haggawd. 
xDD And UwU so farewell, :33 Signyiow xDD Wucentio. 
Kindnyess uWu in UwU women, nyot uWu theiw beauteous looks, 
Shall x3 win x3 my love; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I OwO take x3 my weave, 
^w^ In uWu wesowution >_< as UwU I >w< swowe befowe. uWu Exit 
^-^ TWANyIO. Mistress ^-^ Bianca, ;;w;; bwess xDD you with xDD such xDD gwace 
;;w;; As uWu 'wongeth to :3 a lover's blessed ^w^ case! 
Nyay, UwU I uWu have >_> ta'en xDD you ^-^ nyapping, ^-^ gentwe xDD wuv, 
xDD And uWu have ;;w;; fowswown xDD you with >w< Howtensio. 
xDD BIANCA. >w< Twanyio, xDD you >_> jest; >_> but uWu have xDD you both ;;w;; fowswown me? 
^-^ TWANyIO. Mistwess, ^.^ we :3 have. 
:3 WUCENTIO. UwU Then ^.^ we OwO awe x3 wid of Licio. 
^-^ TWANyIO. xDD I' ^w^ faith, he'ww uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ wusty ^.^ widow now, 
:33 That UwU shaww be woo'd ÚwÚ and >w< wedded uWu in :3 a x3 day. 
xDD BIANCA. ^w^ God UwU give ^.^ him >_< joy! 
^-^ TWANyIO. Ay, ÚwÚ and he'ww >w< tame her. 
xDD BIANCA. >w< He ;;w;; says >_> so, >_< Twanyio. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Faith, ^.^ he >_> is >_> gonye >w< unto x3 the taming-school. 
xDD BIANCA. uWu The taming-school! What, >_> is there xDD such :3 a :3 pwace? 
^-^ TWANyIO. Ay, mistress; ÚwÚ and Petwuchio >_> is x3 the ^.^ mastew, 
:33 That uWu teacheth tricks eleven ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty long, 
;;w;; To >w< tame :3 a :33 shwew ÚwÚ and >_> chawm her chattewing :33 tongue. 

Entew BIONDEWWO 

BIONDELLO. x3 O ^.^ mastew, ^.^ mastew, uWu have UwU watch'd UwU so ^-^ wong 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am dog-weawy; >_> but uWu at >w< wast UwU I ÚwÚ spied 
^-^ An UwU ancient ÚwÚ angew xDD coming down x3 the hill 
Will serve x3 the x3 tuwn. 
^-^ TWANyIO. >_> What >_> is xDD he, x3 Biondewwo? 
BIONDELLO. ^-^ Mastew, :3 a mercatante ow :3 a pedant, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :3 what; >_> but formal uWu in ^w^ appawew, 
^w^ In :33 gait ÚwÚ and >_< countenyance x3 suwewy ^.^ wike :3 a :33 fathew. 
:3 WUCENTIO. xDD And >_> what of :3 him, x3 Twanyio? 
^-^ TWANyIO. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be credulous ÚwÚ and :33 twust x3 my :33 tawe, 
I'll >_< make ^.^ him uWu gwad to xDD seem Vincentio, 
xDD And UwU give assurance to Baptista >_< Minyowa 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe x3 the >w< wight ^.^ Vincentio. 
^.^ Take uWu in x3 youw xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and xDD then wet ;;w;; me >_< awonye. 
Exeunt >_< WUCENTIO ÚwÚ and ^w^ BIANCA 

Entew :3 a OwO PEDANT 

PEDANT. ^w^ God :3 save UwU you, sir! 
^-^ TWANyIO. xDD And UwU you, siw; xDD you OwO awe x3 wewcome. 
UwU Twavew xDD you uWu faw ;;w;; on, ow OwO awe xDD you uWu at x3 the farthest? 
PEDANT. UwU Siw, uWu at x3 the ^-^ fawthest fow :3 a >_< week ow ^.^ two; 
OwO But xDD then x3 up fawthew, ÚwÚ and >_< as uWu faw >_< as Rome; 
xDD And UwU so to :33 Twipowi, >_> if ^w^ God xDD wend ;;w;; me life. 
^-^ TWANyIO. >_> What countwyman, UwU I pway? 
PEDANT. Of Mantua. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Of uWu Mantua, UwU siw? OwO Mawwy, ^w^ God OwO fowbid, 
xDD And come to xDD Padua, xDD cawewess of x3 youw wife! 
PEDANT. OwO My :3 wife, sir! How, UwU I pway? For :3 that xDD goes hard. 
^-^ TWANyIO. 'Tis :33 death fow xDD any one uWu in >_< Mantua 
;;w;; To come to ^w^ Padua. xDD Knyow xDD you nyot x3 the ^w^ cause? 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ ships OwO awe OwO stay'd uWu at Venice; ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; Duke, 
For >_> pwivate ^-^ quawwew 'twixt x3 youw >w< Duke ÚwÚ and :3 him, 
>_< Hath pubwish'd ÚwÚ and proclaim'd >w< it openwy. 
'Tis mawvew- >_> but :3 that xDD you OwO awe >_> but x3 nyewwy come, 
>_> You ^w^ might uWu have heard >w< it >_> ewse proclaim'd ^-^ about. 
PEDANT. ÚwÚ Awas, ^w^ siw, >w< it >_> is xDD wowse fow ;;w;; me than so! 
For UwU I uWu have bills fow monyey ^.^ by :3 exchange 
Fwom >_< Fwowence, ÚwÚ and ^w^ must OwO hewe ÚwÚ dewivew OwO them. 
^-^ TWANyIO. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, to UwU do xDD you couwtesy, 
This xDD wiww UwU I UwU do, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; advise :3 you- 
^.^ Fiwst, tell uWu me, uWu have xDD you OwO evew :33 been uWu at Pisa? 
PEDANT. Ay, ^w^ siw, uWu in Pisa uWu have UwU I often ^-^ been, 
Pisa uWu wenyownyed fow :3 gwave >w< citizens. 
^-^ TWANyIO. >_> Among them ^.^ knyow xDD you one >w< Vincentio? 
PEDANT. UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him >_> nyot, >_> but UwU I uWu have heard of :3 him, 
^-^ A merchant of incomparable ;;w;; weawth. 
^-^ TWANyIO. >w< He >_> is x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, siw; x3 and, >w< sooth to say, 
^w^ In :33 count'nyance >_< somewhat xDD doth wesembwe OwO you. 
BIONDELLO. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; As much >_< as >w< an apple xDD doth >w< an ^.^ oystew, ÚwÚ and aww 
onye. 
^-^ TWANyIO. ;;w;; To :3 save x3 youw >w< wife uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO extwemity, 
This ^.^ favouw xDD wiww UwU I UwU do xDD you fow :33 his >_< sake; 
xDD And think >w< it nyot x3 the worst of aww x3 youw fowtunyes 
:33 That xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wike to Sir ^.^ Vincentio. 
ÚwÚ His xDD nyame ÚwÚ and cwedit UwU shaww xDD you undertake, 
xDD And uWu in x3 my ;;w;; house xDD you UwU shaww be xDD fwiendwy lodg'd; 
Wook :3 that xDD you OwO take ;;w;; upon xDD you >_< as xDD you OwO shouwd. 
>_> You understand uWu me, sir. ^w^ So UwU shaww xDD you xDD stay 
Tiww xDD you uWu have donye x3 youw business uWu in x3 the >_> city. 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be ÚwÚ couwt'sy, ^w^ siw, xDD accept of :3 it. 
PEDANT. >_< O, ^w^ siw, UwU I do; ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ^-^ wepute xDD you OwO evew 
uWu The patron of x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and OwO wibewty. 
^-^ TWANyIO. UwU Then OwO go with ;;w;; me to >_< make x3 the ;;w;; mattew UwU good. 
>w< This, ^.^ by x3 the :3 way, UwU I wet xDD you undewstand: 
OwO My >w< fathew >_> is OwO hewe >_> wook'd fow every day 
;;w;; To pass assurance of :3 a ÚwÚ dow'w uWu in ^.^ mawwiage 
UwU 'Twixt ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and one ^-^ Baptista's daughter hewe. 
^w^ In aww these >_> ciwcumstances I'll instwuct OwO you. 
Go with ;;w;; me to UwU cwothe xDD you >_< as x3 becomes OwO you. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
UwU PETWUCHIO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew :3 KATHEWINyA ÚwÚ and GRUMIO 

GRUMIO. :3 Nyo, no, forsooth; UwU I dawe nyot fow x3 my life. 
KATHEWINyA. uWu The ^.^ mowe x3 my wwong, x3 the ^.^ mowe :33 his x3 spite :3 appeaws. 
What, uWu did ^.^ he marry ;;w;; me to :33 famish me? 
:33 Beggaws :3 that come >w< unto x3 my father's doow 
>_> Upon entreaty uWu have :3 a xDD pwesent ^.^ awms; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, >_> ewsewhewe ;;w;; they :3 meet with charity; 
OwO But I, who >_< nyevew UwU knyew >w< how to entreat, 
x3 Nyow >_< nyevew nyeeded :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd entreat, 
^w^ Am ^-^ stawv'd fow meat, ^-^ giddy fow ^.^ wack of ^w^ sweep; 
With >w< oaths :33 kept :3 waking, ÚwÚ and with brawling :3 fed; 
xDD And :3 that which spites ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe than aww these x3 wants- 
>w< He does >w< it :33 undew xDD nyame of :3 pewfect love; 
;;w;; As who >_> shouwd say, >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd :33 sweep ow uWu eat, 
uWu 'Twewe deadwy sicknyess ow >_> ewse xDD pwesent death. 
UwU I :33 pwithee OwO go ÚwÚ and get ;;w;; me x3 some repast; 
UwU I :3 cawe nyot x3 what, UwU so >w< it be whowesome x3 food. 
GRUMIO. >_> What >_> say xDD you to :3 a nyeat's foot? 
KATHEWINyA. 'Tis passing good; UwU I :33 pwithee wet ;;w;; me uWu have :3 it. 
GRUMIO. UwU I feaw >w< it >_> is ^w^ too :3 chowewic :3 a ^w^ meat. 
How >_> say xDD you to :3 a :33 fat tripe UwU finyewy bwoiw'd? 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I ^.^ wike >w< it well; ÚwÚ good Gwumio, :3 fetch >w< it x3 me. 
GRUMIO. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell; UwU I feaw UwU 'tis choleric. 
>_> What >_> say xDD you to :3 a ^.^ piece of ^w^ beef ÚwÚ and OwO mustawd? 
KATHEWINyA. ^-^ A ^w^ dish :3 that UwU I UwU do wuv to >w< feed ^w^ upon. 
GRUMIO. Ay, >_> but x3 the mustawd >_> is ^w^ too :3 hot :3 a ^.^ wittwe. 
KATHEWINyA. Why xDD then x3 the beef, ÚwÚ and wet x3 the mustawd rest. 
GRUMIO. Nyay, xDD then UwU I xDD wiww x3 nyot; xDD you UwU shaww uWu have x3 the mustard, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse xDD you get nyo ^w^ beef of Gwumio. 
KATHEWINyA. UwU Then xDD both, ow one, ow ;;w;; anything xDD thou wilt. 
GRUMIO. Why xDD then x3 the mustawd ^-^ without x3 the >_> beef. 
KATHEWINyA. ^w^ Go, get uWu thee >w< gonye, xDD thou UwU fawse ^-^ dewuding :33 swave, 
:33 [Beats >w< him] 
:33 That ÚwÚ feed'st ;;w;; me with x3 the xDD vewy xDD nyame of ^w^ meat. 
OwO Sowwow on uWu thee ÚwÚ and aww x3 the OwO pack of xDD you 
:33 That twiumph OwO thus ;;w;; upon x3 my ^-^ misewy! 
^w^ Go, get uWu thee >w< gonye, UwU I :3 say. 

Entew >_< PETWUCHIO, ÚwÚ and ^w^ HOWTENSIO with :3 meat 

>_< PETWUCHIO. How fawes x3 my Kate? What, sweeting, aww >_> amowt? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Mistwess, >_> what ^.^ cheew? 
KATHEWINyA. Faith, >_< as UwU cowd >_< as ^.^ can >w< be. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Pluck x3 up >w< thy ^.^ spiwits, wook cheerfully ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
Here, xDD wuv, xDD thou seest >w< how ^w^ diwigent UwU I am, 
;;w;; To :3 dwess >w< thy :3 meat myself, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing >w< it thee. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, x3 sweet ^.^ Kate, ÚwÚ this OwO kindnyess xDD mewits :33 thanks. 
What, nyot :3 a word? Nyay, xDD then xDD thou >_> wov'st >w< it >_> nyot, 
xDD And aww x3 my ^w^ pains >_> is >_> sowted to nyo :33 pwoof. 
Here, OwO take OwO away ÚwÚ this dish. 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I pray UwU you, wet >w< it ^.^ stand. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. uWu The poowest OwO sewvice >_> is wepaid with ^w^ thanks; 
xDD And UwU so UwU shaww >_> minye, >w< befowe xDD you :33 touch x3 the ^w^ meat. 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, sir. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. :33 Signyiow >_< Petwuchio, fie! xDD you OwO awe to blame. 
^.^ Come, Mistress ^.^ Kate, I'll UwU beaw xDD you UwU company. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :3 [Aside] :33 Eat >w< it x3 up all, xDD Howtensio, >_> if xDD thou wuvst OwO me.- 
Much ÚwÚ good UwU do >w< it >w< unto >w< thy ^-^ gentwe :33 heawt! 
^.^ Kate, eat :33 apace. xDD And now, x3 my honey xDD wuv, 
Will ^.^ we ^-^ wetuwn >w< unto >w< thy father's ;;w;; house 
xDD And ^w^ wevew >w< it >_< as bravely >_< as x3 the ^w^ best, 
With siwken coats ÚwÚ and caps, ÚwÚ and golden wings, 
With ^w^ wuffs ÚwÚ and :3 cuffs ÚwÚ and ^w^ fawthingawes ÚwÚ and :3 things, 
With ^.^ scawfs ÚwÚ and :3 fans ÚwÚ and :3 doubwe change of >_> bwav'wy. 
With amber :33 bwacewets, x3 beads, ÚwÚ and aww ÚwÚ this knav'ry. 
What, x3 hast xDD thou xDD din'd? uWu The ^w^ taiwow uWu stays >w< thy >_> weisuwe, 
;;w;; To deck >w< thy >w< body with :33 his ruffling treasure. 

Entew >_< TAIWOW 

^.^ Come, :33 taiwow, wet >_> us >_> see these ornaments; 
Way fowth x3 the xDD gown. 

Entew >w< HABEWDASHEW 

>_> What nyews with UwU you, UwU siw? 
:3 HABEWDASHEW. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the cap x3 youw :33 wowship uWu did ^w^ bespeak. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why, ÚwÚ this UwU was moulded on :3 a powwingew; 
^-^ A vewvet dish. OwO Fie, fie! UwU 'tis x3 wewd ÚwÚ and xDD fiwthy; 
Why, UwU 'tis :3 a :33 cockwe ow :3 a wawnyut-sheww, 
^-^ A knack, :3 a ^-^ toy, :3 a OwO twick, :3 a baby's cap. 
UwU Away with :3 it. ^.^ Come, wet ;;w;; me uWu have :3 a biggew. 
KATHEWINyA. I'll uWu have nyo OwO biggew; ÚwÚ this xDD doth ;;w;; fit x3 the time, 
xDD And gentlewomen ^-^ weaw xDD such caps >_< as :3 these. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. x3 When xDD you OwO awe gentwe, xDD you UwU shaww uWu have one :3 too, 
xDD And nyot >w< tiww UwU then. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. :3 [Aside] :33 That xDD wiww nyot be uWu in ^.^ haste. 
KATHEWINyA. Why, ^w^ siw, UwU I :33 twust UwU I OwO may uWu have OwO weave to speak; 
xDD And speak UwU I :33 wiww. UwU I ^w^ am nyo child, nyo OwO babe. 
uWu Youw ^-^ bettews uWu have :33 enduw'd ;;w;; me >_> say x3 my UwU mind, 
xDD And >_> if xDD you cannot, best xDD you ÚwÚ stop x3 youw ears. 
OwO My >_> tongue xDD wiww tell x3 the ÚwÚ angew of x3 my uWu heawt, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse x3 my uWu heawt, concealing :33 it, xDD wiww break; 
xDD And rather than >w< it UwU shaww, UwU I xDD wiww be fwee 
Even to x3 the ÚwÚ uttewmost, >_< as UwU I please, uWu in ÚwÚ wowds. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why, xDD thou say'st true; >w< it >_> is :3 a paltry xDD cap, 
^-^ A x3 custawd-coffin, :3 a :33 baubwe, :3 a siwken OwO pie; 
UwU I wuv uWu thee weww uWu in :3 that xDD thou :33 wik'st >w< it not. 
KATHEWINyA. Wuv ;;w;; me ow wuv ;;w;; me >_> nyot, UwU I ^.^ wike x3 the ^.^ cap; 
xDD And >w< it UwU I xDD wiww have, ow UwU I xDD wiww uWu have none. uWu Exit >w< HABEWDASHEW 
>_< PETWUCHIO. x3 Thy >_> gown? Why, ^w^ ay. ^.^ Come, :33 taiwow, wet >_> us ;;w;; see't. 
x3 O mercy, uWu God! >_> what masquing ^w^ stuff >_> is hewe? 
x3 What's :3 this? ^-^ A sleeve? 'Tis ^.^ wike :3 a uWu demi-cannyon. 
What, x3 up ÚwÚ and ;;w;; down, carv'd ^.^ wike >w< an >w< appwetawt? 
>_> Hewe's snip ÚwÚ and nip ÚwÚ and :3 cut ÚwÚ and uWu swish ÚwÚ and swash, 
Wike to :3 a censer uWu in :3 a bawbew's uWu shop. 
Why, >_> what :3 a >_> deviw's :33 nyame, :33 taiwow, caww'st xDD thou :3 this? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. :3 [Aside] UwU I >_> see ^w^ she's ^.^ wike to uWu have :3 nyeithew cap nor xDD gown. 
uWu TAIWOW. >_> You bid ;;w;; me >_< make >w< it ^w^ owdewwy ÚwÚ and weww, 
x3 Accowding to x3 the fashion ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu time. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ did; >_> but >_> if xDD you be rememb'red, 
UwU I uWu did nyot bid xDD you >_> maw >w< it to x3 the uWu time. 
^w^ Go, hop ;;w;; me uvw every kennel ^.^ home, 
For xDD you UwU shaww hop ^-^ without x3 my ^-^ custom, sir. 
I'll >_< nyonye of uWu it; UwU hence! >_< make x3 youw best of :3 it. 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I >_< nyevew saw :3 a xDD bettew uWu fashion'd x3 gown, 
uWu Mowe quaint, ^.^ mowe pleasing, nor ^.^ mowe commendable; 
ÚwÚ Bewike xDD you >_> mean to >_< make :3 a OwO puppet of x3 me. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why, true; ^.^ he means to >_< make :3 a OwO puppet of thee. 
uWu TAIWOW. :33 She ;;w;; says x3 youw :33 wowship means to >_< make :3 a OwO puppet of her. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. x3 O monstwous ;;w;; awwogance! ^.^ Thou liest, xDD thou ^w^ thwead, xDD thou 
>_< thimbwe, 
^.^ Thou yawd, ^-^ thwee-quawtews, half-yard, ^-^ quawtew, xDD nyaiw, 
^.^ Thou >_< fwea, xDD thou ^w^ nyit, xDD thou :3 wintew-cwicket ^w^ thou- 
Brav'd uWu in >_< minye UwU own ;;w;; house with :3 a >w< skein of ÚwÚ thwead! 
:33 Away, xDD thou rag, xDD thou :33 quantity, xDD thou remnant; 
:33 Ow UwU I UwU shaww UwU so >_< bemete uWu thee with >w< thy ^.^ yawd 
;;w;; As xDD thou shalt think on ;;w;; pwating whiwst xDD thou :33 wiv'st! 
UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, I, :3 that xDD thou x3 hast marr'd her xDD gown. 
uWu TAIWOW. uWu Youw :33 wowship >_> is :3 deceiv'd; x3 the ÚwÚ gown >_> is UwU made 
;;w;; Just >_< as x3 my >_< mastew xDD had diwection. 
Gwumio uWu gave order >w< how >w< it >_> shouwd be ^-^ donye. 
GRUMIO. UwU I uWu gave ^.^ him nyo ;;w;; owdew; UwU I uWu gave ^.^ him x3 the ;;w;; stuff. 
uWu TAIWOW. OwO But >w< how uWu did xDD you ^.^ desiwe >w< it >_> shouwd be ÚwÚ made? 
GRUMIO. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, with nyeedwe ÚwÚ and OwO thwead. 
uWu TAIWOW. OwO But uWu did xDD you nyot request to uWu have >w< it cut? 
GRUMIO. ^.^ Thou x3 hast fac'd UwU many xDD things. 
uWu TAIWOW. UwU I :3 have. 
GRUMIO. Face nyot x3 me. ^.^ Thou x3 hast bwav'd UwU many ÚwÚ men; >_< bwave nyot x3 me. UwU I 
xDD wiww :3 nyeithew be fac'd nor :3 bwav'd. UwU I >_> say >w< unto ÚwÚ thee, UwU I bid >w< thy 
>_< mastew :3 cut x3 out x3 the x3 gown; >_> but UwU I uWu did nyot bid ^.^ him :3 cut >w< it to x3 pieces. 
^.^ Ewgo, xDD thou liest. 
uWu TAIWOW. Why, OwO hewe >_> is x3 the ^-^ nyote of x3 the fashion to :3 testify. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. xDD Wead :3 it. 
GRUMIO. uWu The ^-^ nyote wies in's throat, >_> if ^.^ he >_> say UwU I uWu said :3 so. 
uWu TAIWOW. [Weads] uWu 'Impwimis, :3 a OwO woose-bodied x3 gown'- 
GRUMIO. ^-^ Mastew, >_> if OwO evew UwU I uWu said OwO woose-bodied x3 gown, uWu sew ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the 
skiwts of >w< it ÚwÚ and xDD beat ;;w;; me to :33 death with :3 a :3 bottom of >_> bwown bwead; UwU I 
uWu said :3 a xDD gown. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ;;w;; Pwoceed. 
uWu TAIWOW. [Weads] :33 'With :3 a UwU smaww ^.^ compass'd UwU cape'- 
GRUMIO. UwU I x3 confess x3 the ^-^ cape. 
uWu TAIWOW. [Weads] :33 'With :3 a UwU twunk sweeve'- 
GRUMIO. UwU I x3 confess >w< two >_> sweeves. 
uWu TAIWOW. [Weads] 'The sweeves OwO cuwiouswy cut.' 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Ay, there's x3 the x3 viwwainy. 
GRUMIO. ^-^ Ewwow :33 i' x3 th' bill, siw; ewwow :33 i' x3 th' >_< biww! UwU I :3 commanded x3 the 
sweeves >_> shouwd be :3 cut ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and >_< sew'd x3 up again; ÚwÚ and :3 that I'll 
^-^ pwuv ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ though >w< thy xDD wittwe finger be :3 awmed uWu in :3 a uWu thimbwe. 
uWu TAIWOW. This >_> is true :3 that UwU I say; >w< an UwU I xDD had uWu thee uWu in :33 pwace where, xDD thou 
shouwdst ^.^ knyow :3 it. 
GRUMIO. UwU I ^w^ am fow uWu thee >_< stwaight; OwO take xDD thou x3 the bill, UwU give ;;w;; me >w< thy 
uWu meteyawd, ÚwÚ and ^-^ spawe nyot x3 me. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. xDD God-a-mewcy, Gwumio! UwU Then ^.^ he UwU shaww uWu have nyo odds. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, uWu in ^-^ bwief, x3 the ÚwÚ gown >_> is nyot fow x3 me. 
GRUMIO. >_> You OwO awe :33 i' x3 th' wight, siw; UwU 'tis fow x3 my ^w^ mistwess. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^w^ Go, OwO take >w< it x3 up >w< unto >w< thy xDD mastew's ÚwÚ use. 
GRUMIO. uWu Viwwain, nyot fow >w< thy wife! ^.^ Take x3 up x3 my >_< mistwess' ÚwÚ gown fow 
>w< thy xDD mastew's ÚwÚ use! 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why, ^w^ siw, UwU what's x3 youw conceit uWu in ^-^ that? 
GRUMIO. >_< O, ^w^ siw, x3 the conceit >_> is deeper than xDD you think ;;w;; fow. 
^.^ Take x3 up x3 my >_< mistwess' ÚwÚ gown to :33 his xDD mastew's ÚwÚ use! 
x3 O >_< fie, >_< fie, fie! 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :3 [Aside] xDD Howtensio, >_> say xDD thou wiwt >_> see x3 the ^w^ taiwow paid.- 
Go OwO take >w< it OwO hence; be >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and >_> say nyo more. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Tailor, I'll x3 pay uWu thee fow >w< thy ÚwÚ gown to-morrow; 
^.^ Take nyo unkindnyess of :33 his >_> hasty ÚwÚ wowds. 
:33 Away, UwU I say; ÚwÚ commend ;;w;; me to >w< thy master. uWu Exit >_< TAIWOW 
>_< PETWUCHIO. xDD Weww, come, x3 my ;;w;; Kate; ^.^ we xDD wiww >w< unto x3 youw father's 
Even uWu in these xDD honyest >_> mean OwO habiwiments; 
Our purses UwU shaww be :3 pwoud, UwU ouw xDD gawments poor; 
For UwU 'tis x3 the ^-^ mind :3 that x3 makes x3 the >w< body wich; 
xDD And >_< as x3 the sun >_< bweaks ^w^ thwough x3 the ^-^ dawkest >_> cwouds, 
^w^ So honour peeweth uWu in x3 the meanyest UwU habit. 
What, >_> is x3 the UwU jay ^.^ mowe >_< pwecious than x3 the lark 
>_< Because :33 his feathers OwO awe ^.^ mowe ;;w;; beautifuw? 
:33 Ow >_> is x3 the >_> addew xDD bettew than x3 the eel 
>_< Because :33 his painted uWu skin contents x3 the ÚwÚ eye? 
x3 O no, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; Kate; :3 nyeithew awt xDD thou x3 the xDD wowse 
For ÚwÚ this poor xDD fuwnyituwe ÚwÚ and >_> mean uWu awway. 
;;w;; If xDD thou OwO account'st >w< it UwU shame, uWu way >w< it on OwO me; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe ÚwÚ fwowic; ^.^ we xDD wiww >w< hence ÚwÚ fowthwith 
;;w;; To >_> feast ÚwÚ and spowt >_> us uWu at >w< thy father's ÚwÚ house. 
Go caww x3 my men, ÚwÚ and wet >_> us ^w^ stwaight to him; 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing UwU ouw :3 howses >w< unto >_> Wong-wanye ^w^ end; 
>_> Thewe xDD wiww ^.^ we :3 mount, ÚwÚ and uWu thithew UwU wawk on ^-^ foot. 
:3 Wet's see; UwU I think UwU 'tis nyow x3 some ÚwÚ seven o'clock, 
xDD And weww ^.^ we OwO may come there ^.^ by dinner-time. 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I dawe :33 assuwe UwU you, ^w^ siw, UwU 'tis almost >_> two, 
xDD And 'twill be supper-time ere xDD you come :33 thewe. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ It UwU shaww be ÚwÚ seven ere UwU I OwO go to horse. 
Wook >_> what UwU I :3 speak, ow UwU do, ow think to UwU do, 
>_> You OwO awe still :33 cwossing :3 it. uWu Siws, wet 't ^.^ awonye; 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO go to-day; ÚwÚ and ere UwU I UwU do, 
^.^ It UwU shaww be >_> what UwU o'cwock UwU I >_> say >w< it >w< is. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Why, UwU so ÚwÚ this OwO gawwant xDD wiww ÚwÚ command x3 the OwO sun. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
^w^ Padua. ^.^ Befowe >_> BAPTISTA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew xDD TWANyIO >_< as OwO WUCENTIO, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO PEDANT OwO dwessed ^.^ wike VINCENTIO 

^-^ TWANyIO. UwU Siw, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the ^.^ house; uWu pwease >w< it xDD you :3 that UwU I caww? 
PEDANT. Ay, >_> what else? ^.^ And, >_> but UwU I be :33 deceived, 
:33 Signyiow Baptista OwO may remember ;;w;; me 
Near ÚwÚ twenty years ^w^ ago uWu in Genyoa, 
Whewe ^.^ we :3 wewe wodgews uWu at x3 the :3 Pegasus. 
^-^ TWANyIO. 'Tis well; ÚwÚ and howd x3 youw OwO own, uWu in xDD any case, 
With xDD such austerity >_< as :33 wongeth to :3 a :33 fathew. 

Entew BIONDEWWO 

PEDANT. UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. But, ^w^ siw, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 youw ^.^ boy; 
uWu 'Twewe ÚwÚ good ^.^ he :3 wewe schoow'd. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Fear xDD you nyot ^.^ him. ^w^ Siwwah Biondello, 
Now UwU do x3 youw >_> duty ^-^ thwoughwy, UwU I ;;w;; advise OwO you. 
Imagine >w< 'twewe x3 the >w< wight ^.^ Vincentio. 
BIONDELLO. Tut, feaw nyot x3 me. 
^-^ TWANyIO. OwO But x3 hast xDD thou donye >w< thy x3 ewwand to :33 Baptista? 
BIONDELLO. UwU I told ^.^ him :3 that x3 youw >w< fathew UwU was uWu at >_> Venyice, 
xDD And :3 that xDD you >_> wook'd fow ^.^ him ÚwÚ this day uWu in ^w^ Padua. 
^-^ TWANyIO. Th'art :3 a ;;w;; taww fellow; howd uWu thee :3 that to ^-^ dwink. 
:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 Baptista. Set x3 youw ^-^ countenyance, sir. 

Entew UwU BAPTISTA, ÚwÚ and >_< WUCENTIO >_< as >_< CAMBIO 

:33 Signyiow OwO Baptista, xDD you OwO awe happily ÚwÚ met. 
:33 [To ;;w;; To x3 the ^-^ PEDANT] UwU Siw, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman UwU I told xDD you OwO of; 
UwU I pray xDD you stand ÚwÚ good >w< fathew to ;;w;; me >_< nyow; 
Give ;;w;; me Bianca fow x3 my patrimony. 
PEDANT. ^-^ Soft, ^w^ son! 
UwU Siw, ^.^ by x3 youw leave: xDD having come to >_> Padua 
;;w;; To gathew uWu in x3 some debts, x3 my >_< son ^-^ Wucentio 
Made ;;w;; me >_> acquainted with :3 a ^.^ weighty cause 
Of wuv ^-^ between x3 youw daughter ÚwÚ and :33 himsewf; 
^.^ And- fow x3 the ÚwÚ good wepowt UwU I hear of UwU you, 
xDD And fow x3 the wuv ^.^ he >_> beaweth to x3 youw ^w^ daughtew, 
xDD And ^.^ she to uWu him- to xDD stay ^.^ him nyot ^w^ too long, 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU content, uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ good father's care, 
;;w;; To uWu have ^.^ him xDD match'd; x3 and, >_> if xDD you uWu pwease to ^.^ wike 
No xDD wowse than I, ;;w;; upon x3 some >_> agweement 
x3 Me UwU shaww xDD you find ready ÚwÚ and ^.^ wiwwing 
With one >_< consent to uWu have her UwU so OwO bestow'd; 
For curious UwU I ;;w;; cannyot be with UwU you, 
:33 Signyiow OwO Baptista, of ÚwÚ whom UwU I hear UwU so well. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. UwU Siw, UwU pawdon ;;w;; me uWu in >_> what UwU I uWu have to :3 say. 
uWu Youw >_< pwainnyess ÚwÚ and x3 youw uWu showtnyess uWu pwease ;;w;; me well. 
x3 Wight true >w< it >_> is x3 youw >_< son ^-^ Wucentio OwO hewe 
^-^ Doth wuv x3 my ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she wuvth :3 him, 
:33 Ow both dissembwe deepwy uWu theiw ÚwÚ affections; 
xDD And OwO thewefowe, >_> if xDD you >_> say nyo ^.^ mowe than uWu this, 
:33 That ^.^ wike :3 a >w< fathew xDD you xDD wiww deal with :3 him, 
xDD And pass x3 my daughter :3 a sufficient dowew, 
uWu The >_< match >_> is made, ÚwÚ and aww >_> is xDD donye- 
uWu Youw >_< son UwU shaww uWu have x3 my daughter with ÚwÚ consent. 
^-^ TWANyIO. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, sir. Whewe xDD then UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow best 
We be :33 affied, ÚwÚ and xDD such assurance >_> ta'en 
;;w;; As UwU shaww with xDD eithew part's >_> agweement stand? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ÚwÚ Nyot uWu in x3 my house, ;;w;; Wucentio, fow xDD you ^.^ knyow 
^w^ Pitchews uWu have ;;w;; eaws, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have UwU many sewvants; 
:33 Besides, ;;w;; owd xDD Gwemio >_> is x3 heawk'nying still, 
xDD And happily ^.^ we ^w^ might be intewwupted. 
^-^ TWANyIO. UwU Then uWu at x3 my :33 wodging, >w< an >w< it ^.^ wike OwO you. 
>_> Thewe xDD doth x3 my >w< fathew wie; ÚwÚ and there ÚwÚ this >w< nyight 
^-^ We'ww pass x3 the business pwivatewy ÚwÚ and well. 
>_< Send fow x3 youw daughter ^.^ by x3 youw xDD sewvant ^.^ hewe; 
OwO My ;;w;; boy UwU shaww :3 fetch x3 the >w< scwivenyew presently. 
uWu The worst >_> is uWu this, :3 that uWu at UwU so slender :3 wawnying 
>_> You OwO awe ^.^ wike to uWu have :3 a >_< thin ÚwÚ and slender >_> pittance. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. ^.^ It likes ;;w;; me well. ^w^ Cambio, hie xDD you ^.^ home, 
xDD And bid Bianca >_< make her ready >_< stwaight; 
^.^ And, >_> if xDD you :33 wiww, tell >_> what hath happened- 
UwU Wucentio's >w< fathew >_> is ^-^ awwiv'd uWu in xDD Padua, 
xDD And >w< how ^w^ she's ^.^ wike to be UwU Wucentio's x3 wife. uWu Exit >_< WUCENTIO 
BIONDELLO. UwU I pray x3 the gods ^.^ she may, with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
^-^ TWANyIO. OwO Dawwy nyot with x3 the uWu gods, >_> but get uWu thee ;;w;; gonye. 
uWu Exit BIONDEWWO 
:33 Signyiow OwO Baptista, UwU shaww UwU I lead x3 the >w< way? 
x3 Wewcome! x3 Onye UwU mess >_> is ^.^ wike to be x3 youw cheer; 
^.^ Come, siw; ^.^ we xDD wiww xDD bettew >w< it uWu in >w< Pisa. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. UwU I ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. Exeunt 

^.^ We-entew >_< WUCENTIO >_< as >_< CAMBIO, ÚwÚ and BIONDEWWO 

BIONDELLO. ^w^ Cambio. 
:3 WUCENTIO. >_> What say'st UwU thou, x3 Biondewwo? 
BIONDELLO. >_> You saw x3 my >_< mastew >_> wink ÚwÚ and laugh ;;w;; upon you? 
:3 WUCENTIO. Biondello, >_> what of ^-^ that? 
BIONDELLO. Faith, uWu nyothing; >_> but >_> has left ;;w;; me OwO hewe x3 behind to >_< expound 
x3 the meaning ow :3 mowaw of :33 his signs ÚwÚ and >_< tokens. 
:3 WUCENTIO. UwU I pray uWu thee :33 mowawize OwO them. 
BIONDELLO. UwU Then thus: Baptista >_> is safe, :33 tawking with x3 the ;;w;; deceiving 
>w< fathew of :3 a deceitful OwO son. 
:3 WUCENTIO. xDD And >_> what of him? 
BIONDELLO. ÚwÚ His daughter >_> is to be ^.^ bwought ^.^ by xDD you to x3 the x3 suppew. 
:3 WUCENTIO. xDD And ^w^ then? 
BIONDELLO. uWu The ;;w;; owd priest uWu at Saint Luke's ^-^ chuwch >_> is uWu at x3 youw ÚwÚ command 
uWu at aww hours. 
:3 WUCENTIO. xDD And >_> what of aww :3 this? 
BIONDELLO. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu teww, :33 except ;;w;; they OwO awe ;;w;; busied about :3 a 
OwO countewfeit x3 assuwance. ^.^ Take x3 youw assurance of hew, ^w^ cum pwiviwegio 
>_< ad imprimendum >_> sowum; to x3 th' ^-^ chuwch OwO take x3 the ;;w;; pwiest, ^-^ cwewk, ÚwÚ and 
x3 some sufficient xDD honyest ÚwÚ witnyesses. 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be nyot :3 that xDD you wook for, UwU I uWu have ^.^ mowe to say, 
OwO But bid Bianca >_< faweweww fow OwO evew ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 day. 
:3 WUCENTIO. :33 Heaw'st UwU thou, x3 Biondewwo? 
BIONDELLO. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot :33 tawwy. UwU I UwU knyew :3 a OwO wench mawwied uWu in >w< an >_< aftewnyoon 
>_< as ^.^ she OwO went to x3 the >_< gawden fow ^w^ pawswey to ^w^ stuff :3 a rabbit; ÚwÚ and UwU so 
OwO may UwU you, siw; ÚwÚ and UwU so adieu, sir. OwO My >_< mastew hath uWu appointed ;;w;; me to 
OwO go to Saint Luke's to bid x3 the priest be ready to come OwO against xDD you 
come with x3 youw appendix. 
uWu Exit 
:3 WUCENTIO. UwU I OwO may ÚwÚ and :33 wiww, >_> if ^.^ she be UwU so ÚwÚ contented. 
:33 She xDD wiww be OwO pweas'd; xDD then ^-^ whewefowe >_> shouwd UwU I :3 doubt? 
;;w;; Hap >_> what ÚwÚ hap may, I'll roundly OwO go about >w< hew; 
^.^ It UwU shaww OwO go x3 hawd >_> if ;;w;; Cambio OwO go ^-^ without her. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE V. 
^-^ A public woad 

Entew >_< PETWUCHIO, KATHEWINyA, HOWTENSIO, ÚwÚ and ^-^ SEWVANTS 

>_< PETWUCHIO. :3 Come ;;w;; on, :3 a >_> God's UwU nyame; >_> once ^.^ mowe toward UwU ouw fathew's. 
^-^ Good Wowd, >w< how uWu bwight ÚwÚ and xDD goodwy uWu shinyes x3 the moon! 
KATHEWINyA. uWu The OwO moon? uWu The >_< sun! ^.^ It >_> is nyot moonlight now. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I >_> say >w< it >_> is x3 the ;;w;; moon :3 that uWu shinyes UwU so >_< bwight. 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it >_> is x3 the sun :3 that uWu shinyes UwU so >_< bwight. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Now ^.^ by x3 my ;;w;; mothew's x3 son, ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's myself, 
^.^ It UwU shaww be ;;w;; moon, ow UwU staw, ow >_> what UwU I wist, 
:33 Ow ere UwU I ^w^ jouwnyey to x3 youw father's ÚwÚ house. 
Go on ÚwÚ and :3 fetch UwU ouw :3 howses back ;;w;; again. 
Evermore cwoss'd ÚwÚ and cross'd; >_< nyothing >_> but ;;w;; cwoss'd! 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. x3 Say >_< as ^.^ he says, ow ^.^ we UwU shaww >_< nyevew ÚwÚ go. 
KATHEWINyA. x3 Fowwawd, UwU I pray, xDD since ^.^ we uWu have come UwU so far, 
xDD And be >w< it ;;w;; moon, ow sun, ow >_> what xDD you pwease; 
xDD And >_> if xDD you uWu pwease to caww >w< it :3 a OwO wush-candwe, 
ÚwÚ Hencefowth UwU I vow >w< it UwU shaww be UwU so fow x3 me. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I >_> say >w< it >_> is x3 the x3 moon. 
KATHEWINyA. UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it >_> is x3 the x3 moon. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Nyay, xDD then xDD you wie; >w< it >_> is x3 the blessed OwO sun. 
KATHEWINyA. Then, ^w^ God be bless'd, >w< it >_> is x3 the blessed sun; 
OwO But sun >w< it >_> is >_> nyot, when xDD you >_> say >w< it >_> is x3 nyot; 
xDD And x3 the ;;w;; moon :33 changes even >_< as x3 youw :33 mind. 
>_> What xDD you xDD wiww uWu have >w< it ^-^ nyam'd, even :3 that >w< it ;;w;; is, 
xDD And UwU so >w< it UwU shaww be UwU so fow Katherine. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. >_< Petwuchio, OwO go >w< thy >w< ways, x3 the field >_> is uWu won. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. xDD Weww, forward, >_< fowwawd! OwO thus x3 the >w< boww >_> shouwd uWu wun, 
xDD And nyot xDD unwuckiwy OwO against x3 the OwO bias. 
But, xDD soft! UwU Company >_> is xDD coming hewe. 

Entew VINCENTIO 

:33 [To ^w^ VINCENTIO] Good-mowwow, ^-^ gentwe mistress; :3 whewe >w< away?- 
Teww uWu me, x3 sweet ^.^ Kate, ÚwÚ and tell ;;w;; me :33 twuwy :3 too, 
Hast xDD thou beheld :3 a ^-^ fweshew gentwewoman? 
>w< Such >w< waw of ^-^ white ÚwÚ and red within her cheeks! 
>_> What stars UwU do uWu spangwe heaven with xDD such beauty 
;;w;; As UwU those >w< two eyes :33 become :3 that ^-^ heavenwy ^.^ face? 
Faiw lovely ;;w;; maid, >_> once ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ good day to thee. 
ÚwÚ Sweet ^.^ Kate, >_< embwace her fow her beauty's sake. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. >_> 'A xDD wiww >_< make x3 the x3 man mad, to >_< make :3 a OwO woman of ^.^ him. 
KATHEWINyA. Young :33 budding xDD viwgin, >w< faiw ÚwÚ and >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and sweet, 
x3 Whithew away, ow :3 whewe >_> is >w< thy uWu abode? 
Happy x3 the parents of UwU so >w< faiw :3 a child; 
Happier x3 the x3 man ÚwÚ whom favourable stars 
Awwots uWu thee fow :33 his lovely bed-fewwow. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why, >w< how now, ^.^ Kate, UwU I UwU hope xDD thou awt nyot OwO mad! 
This >_> is :3 a ^w^ man, :3 owd, wrinkled, uWu faded, withewed, 
xDD And nyot :3 a ^.^ maiden, >_< as xDD thou x3 sayst ^.^ he >w< is. 
KATHEWINyA. Pawdon, ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ fathew, x3 my ;;w;; mistaking ^w^ eyes, 
:33 That uWu have :33 been UwU so bedazzled with x3 the sun 
:33 That evewything UwU I wook on seemeth green; 
Now UwU I >_> pewceive xDD thou awt :3 a reverend :33 fathew. 
Pawdon, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, fow x3 my ^-^ mad mistaking. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU Do, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd xDD gwandsiwe, ÚwÚ and withal >_< make ÚwÚ knyown 
>_< Which uWu way xDD thou travellest- >_> if :3 awong with us, 
We UwU shaww be >w< joyfuw of >w< thy UwU company. 
uWu VINCENTIO. Faiw ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and xDD you x3 my ^.^ mewwy ^-^ mistwess, 
:33 That with x3 youw ;;w;; stwange x3 encountew much ^w^ amaz'd uWu me, 
OwO My xDD nyame >_> is ^w^ caww'd Vincentio, x3 my dwelling Pisa, 
xDD And bound UwU I ^w^ am to xDD Padua, there to x3 visit 
^-^ A >_< son of >_> minye, which ^-^ wong UwU I uWu have nyot ÚwÚ seen. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_> What >_> is :33 his :3 nyame? 
uWu VINCENTIO. ;;w;; Wucentio, ^-^ gentwe sir. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :33 Happiwy met; x3 the uWu happiew fow >w< thy OwO son. 
xDD And nyow ^.^ by waw, >_< as weww >_< as reverend age, 
UwU I OwO may x3 entitwe uWu thee x3 my >w< woving fathew: 
uWu The :3 sistew to x3 my :3 wife, ÚwÚ this gentwewoman, 
x3 Thy >_< son ^.^ by ÚwÚ this hath mawwied. >w< Wondew >_> nyot, 
x3 Nyow be nyot grieved- ^.^ she >_> is of ÚwÚ good esteem, 
:3 Hew ^.^ dowwy weawthy, ÚwÚ and of ÚwÚ wowthy birth; 
>w< Beside, UwU so qualified >_< as OwO may >_> beseem 
uWu The ^-^ spouse of xDD any x3 nyobwe :3 gentweman. 
Let ;;w;; me >_< embwace with ;;w;; owd ^-^ Vincentio; 
xDD And >w< wandew ^.^ we to >_> see >w< thy xDD honyest x3 son, 
Who xDD wiww of >w< thy >_< awwivaw be full >w< joyous. 
uWu VINCENTIO. OwO But >_> is ÚwÚ this true; ow >_> is >w< it >_> ewse x3 youw x3 pweasuwe, 
Wike >_> pweasant >_> twavewwews, to bweak :3 a xDD jest 
>_> Upon x3 the >_< company xDD you uWu uvwtake? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. UwU I UwU do :33 assuwe ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ fathew, UwU so >w< it >w< is. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ Come, OwO go along, ÚwÚ and >_> see x3 the uWu twuth hereof; 
For UwU ouw xDD fiwst ^.^ mewwiment hath UwU made uWu thee UwU jeawous. 
Exeunt aww >_> but ^w^ HOWTENSIO 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. xDD Weww, >_< Petwuchio, ÚwÚ this >_> has put ;;w;; me uWu in ;;w;; heawt. 
:3 Have to x3 my widow; ÚwÚ and >_> if ^.^ she be froward, 
UwU Then x3 hast xDD thou ÚwÚ taught >_< Howtensio to be untowawd. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^w^ Padua. ^.^ Befowe LUCENTIO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew BIONDELLO, OwO WUCENTIO, ÚwÚ and >_< BIANCA; GREMIO >_> is x3 out >w< befowe 

BIONDELLO. >w< Softwy ÚwÚ and swiftwy, ^w^ siw, fow x3 the priest >_> is weady. 
:3 WUCENTIO. UwU I fly, Biondello; >_> but ;;w;; they OwO may chance to >_< nyeed x3 the uWu at 
^.^ home, >_< thewefowe OwO weave >_> us. 
BIONDELLO. Nyay, ^w^ faith, I'll >_> see x3 the ^-^ chuwch :3 a x3 youw back, ÚwÚ and xDD then 
come back to x3 my xDD mastew's >_< as >w< soon >_< as UwU I ;;w;; can. 
Exeunt OwO WUCENTIO, ^w^ BIANCA, ÚwÚ and BIONDEWWO 
^-^ GWEMIO. UwU I :3 mawvew ;;w;; Cambio x3 comes nyot aww ÚwÚ this >_> whiwe. 

Entew >_< PETWUCHIO, KATHEWINyA, >_< VINCENTIO, GRUMIO, 
ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU Siw, hewe's x3 the door; ÚwÚ this >_> is UwU Wucentio's ^.^ house; 
OwO My father's bears ^.^ mowe toward x3 the mawket-pwace; 
Thither ^w^ must I, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe UwU I OwO weave UwU you, sir. 
uWu VINCENTIO. >_> You UwU shaww nyot choose >_> but ÚwÚ dwink >w< befowe xDD you go; 
UwU I think UwU I UwU shaww ÚwÚ command x3 youw wewcome UwU hewe, 
xDD And ^.^ by aww likelihood x3 some cheer >_> is towawd. [Knocks] 
^-^ GWEMIO. They'we >w< busy xDD within; xDD you :3 wewe best :3 knyock louder. 
>_> [PEDANT :33 wooks x3 out of x3 the xDD window] 
PEDANT. x3 What's ^.^ he :3 that ÚwÚ knyocks >_< as ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd xDD beat down x3 the ^-^ gate? 
uWu VINCENTIO. Is :33 Signyiow ^-^ Wucentio :33 within, UwU siw? 
PEDANT. He's :33 within, ^w^ siw, >_> but nyot to be >w< spoken uWu withaw. 
uWu VINCENTIO. >_> What >_> if :3 a x3 man ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him :3 a :3 hundwed ;;w;; pound ow >w< two to >_< make 
^.^ mewwy uWu withaw? 
PEDANT. ^w^ Keep x3 youw :3 hundwed uWu pounds to :33 youwsewf; ^.^ he UwU shaww >_< nyeed >_< nyonye UwU so 
^-^ wong >_< as UwU I wive. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Nyay, UwU I told xDD you x3 youw >_< son UwU was weww beloved uWu in ^w^ Padua. Do 
xDD you heaw, UwU siw? ;;w;; To OwO weave :33 fwivowous circumstances, UwU I pray xDD you tell 
:33 Signyiow ^-^ Wucentio :3 that :33 his >w< fathew >_> is come from Pisa, ÚwÚ and >_> is OwO hewe 
uWu at x3 the doow to speak with ^.^ him. 
PEDANT. ^.^ Thou ^.^ wiest: :33 his >w< fathew >_> is come from xDD Padua, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe ^w^ wooking 
x3 out uWu at x3 the :3 window. 
uWu VINCENTIO. Awt xDD thou :33 his father? 
PEDANT. Ay, siw; UwU so :33 his mothew says, >_> if UwU I OwO may ^-^ bewieve her. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :33 [To ^w^ VINCENTIO] Why, >w< how now, gentleman! 
Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is flat knyavewy to OwO take ;;w;; upon xDD you anyothew :33 man's nyame. 
PEDANT. Way ^.^ hands on x3 the villain; UwU I ^-^ bewieve xDD 'a means to UwU cozen 
^w^ somebody uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU city :33 undew x3 my ÚwÚ countenyance. 

^.^ We-entew BIONDEWWO 

BIONDELLO. UwU I uWu have :3 seen them uWu in x3 the ^-^ chuwch together. ^w^ God >_> send x3 'em 
ÚwÚ good OwO shipping! OwO But who >_> is hewe? Mine ;;w;; owd ^.^ mastew, Vicentio! Now ^.^ we 
OwO awe ÚwÚ undonye ÚwÚ and ^.^ bwought to OwO nyothing. 
uWu VINCENTIO. ^-^ [Seeing >_> BIONDEWWO] :3 Come hithew, :3 cwack-hemp. 
BIONDELLO. UwU I UwU hope UwU I OwO may UwU choose, sir. 
uWu VINCENTIO. :3 Come hithew, xDD you wogue. What, uWu have xDD you fowgot me? 
BIONDELLO. Forgot you! :3 Nyo, sir. UwU I couwd nyot x3 fowget UwU you, fow UwU I >_< nyevew 
saw xDD you >w< befowe uWu in aww x3 my life. 
uWu VINCENTIO. What, xDD you :3 nyotowious villain, :33 didst xDD thou >_< nyevew >_> see >w< thy 
xDD mastew's ÚwÚ fathew, >w< Vincentio? 
BIONDELLO. What, x3 my ;;w;; owd worshipful ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ mastew? Yes, marry, siw; >_> see 
:3 whewe ^.^ he :33 wooks x3 out of x3 the :3 window. 
uWu VINCENTIO. ^-^ Is't >_> so, >_< indeed? [He ÚwÚ beats >_> BIONDEWWO] 
BIONDELLO. Hewp, hewp, :33 hewp! >_> Hewe's :3 a ÚwÚ madman xDD wiww murder x3 me. 
uWu Exit 
PEDANT. Hewp, ^w^ son! hewp, :33 Signyiow :3 Baptista! uWu Exit from :33 abuv 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Prithee, ^.^ Kate, >_> wet's stand :3 aside ÚwÚ and >_> see x3 the >w< end of ÚwÚ this 
controversy. ^w^ [They stand aside] 

^.^ We-entew OwO PEDANT below; UwU BAPTISTA, xDD TWANyIO, ÚwÚ and ^-^ SEWVANTS 

^-^ TWANyIO. UwU Siw, >_> what OwO awe xDD you :3 that offer to xDD beat x3 my servant? 
uWu VINCENTIO. >_> What ^w^ am I, UwU siw? Nyay, >_> what OwO awe UwU you, UwU siw? x3 O :3 immowtaw ^-^ gods! 
x3 O OwO finye :33 viwwain! ^-^ A siwken ÚwÚ doubwet, :3 a vewvet OwO hose, :3 a x3 scawwet cloak, 
ÚwÚ and :3 a ÚwÚ copatain UwU hat! >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am undone! UwU I ^w^ am undone! While UwU I :33 pway x3 the 
ÚwÚ good :33 husband uWu at ^.^ home, x3 my >_< son ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD sewvant spend aww uWu at x3 the 
x3 unyivewsity. 
^-^ TWANyIO. How >_< nyow! UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. What, >_> is x3 the x3 man lunatic? 
^-^ TWANyIO. UwU Siw, xDD you xDD seem :3 a sober UwU ancient ÚwÚ gentweman ^.^ by x3 youw habit, >_> but 
x3 youw wowds x3 show xDD you :3 a >_> madman. Why, ^w^ siw, >_> what UwU 'cewns >w< it xDD you >_> if UwU I 
^-^ weaw uWu peaww ÚwÚ and UwU gowd? UwU I >_> thank x3 my ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ fathew, UwU I ^w^ am able to 
ÚwÚ maintain :3 it. 
uWu VINCENTIO. x3 Thy ;;w;; fathew! x3 O :33 viwwain! ^.^ he >_> is :3 a >_< saiwmakew uWu in xDD Bewgamo. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. >_> You ;;w;; mistake, siw; xDD you ;;w;; mistake, sir. ÚwÚ Pway, >_> what UwU do xDD you 
think >_> is :33 his :3 nyame? 
uWu VINCENTIO. ÚwÚ His xDD nyame! ;;w;; As >_> if UwU I UwU knyew nyot :33 his xDD nyame! UwU I uWu have ^.^ bwought ^.^ him 
x3 up OwO evew xDD since ^.^ he UwU was >w< thwee years :3 owd, ÚwÚ and :33 his xDD nyame >_> is >_< Twanyio. 
PEDANT. :33 Away, away, ^-^ mad ^w^ ass! ÚwÚ His xDD nyame >_> is Wucentio; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is >_< minye 
>w< onwy x3 son, ÚwÚ and heir to x3 the ^-^ wands of uWu me, :33 Signyiow >w< Vicentio. 
uWu VINCENTIO. Lucentio! >_< O, ^.^ he hath ^-^ muwd'wed :33 his x3 mastew! Way howd on 
:3 him, UwU I :3 chawge UwU you, uWu in x3 the Duke's nyame. >_< O, x3 my x3 son, x3 my ^w^ son! Teww 
uWu me, xDD thou villain, :3 whewe >_> is x3 my x3 son, uWu Wucentio? 
^-^ TWANyIO. ;;w;; Caww fowth >w< an officer. 

Entew one with >w< an OFFICEW 

xDD Cawwy ÚwÚ this ^-^ mad x3 knyave to x3 the gaow. Fathew OwO Baptista, UwU I :3 chawge xDD you 
>_> see :3 that ^.^ he be OwO fowthcoming. 
uWu VINCENTIO. xDD Cawwy ;;w;; me to x3 the x3 gaow! 
^-^ GWEMIO. Stay, xDD Officew; ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot OwO go to x3 pwison. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Talk >_> nyot, :33 Signyiow Gremio; UwU I >_> say ^.^ he UwU shaww OwO go to x3 pwison. 
^-^ GWEMIO. ^.^ Take ^-^ heed, :33 Signyiow OwO Baptista, xDD west xDD you be cony-catch'd uWu in 
ÚwÚ this ^.^ businyess; UwU I dawe >_< sweaw ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the >w< wight ^.^ Vincentio. 
PEDANT. Swear >_> if xDD thou dar'st. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Nyay, UwU I dawe nyot >_< sweaw :3 it. 
^-^ TWANyIO. UwU Then xDD thou OwO wewt best >_> say :3 that UwU I ^w^ am nyot xDD Wucentio. 
^-^ GWEMIO. Yes, UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee to be :33 Signyiow xDD Wucentio. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. UwU Away with x3 the ^.^ dotawd; to x3 the gaow with x3 him! 
uWu VINCENTIO. ^-^ Thus stwangews OwO may be >w< haw'd ÚwÚ and x3 abus'd. x3 O monstwous 
:33 viwwain! 

^.^ We-entew BIONDELLO, with >_< WUCENTIO ÚwÚ and ^w^ BIANCA 

BIONDELLO. >_< O, ^.^ we OwO awe spoil'd; ÚwÚ and yonder ^.^ he x3 is! >w< Deny :3 him, >w< fowsweaw 
:3 him, ow >_> ewse ^.^ we OwO awe aww >_< undonye. 
Exeunt BIONDELLO, xDD TWANyIO, ÚwÚ and ^.^ PEDANT, >_< as ÚwÚ fast >_< as OwO may be 
:3 WUCENTIO. UwU [Knyeewing] Pawdon, x3 sweet :33 fathew. 
uWu VINCENTIO. Wives x3 my x3 sweet uWu son? 
xDD BIANCA. Pawdon, uWu deaw :33 fathew. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. How x3 hast xDD thou >_< offended? 
Whewe >_> is uWu Wucentio? 
:3 WUCENTIO. >_> Hewe's ;;w;; Wucentio, 
x3 Wight >_< son to x3 the >w< wight Vincentio, 
:33 That uWu have ^.^ by ^.^ mawwiage UwU made >w< thy daughter >_> minye, 
While OwO countewfeit supposes x3 bweaw'd ^.^ thinye ;;w;; eynye. 
^-^ GWEMIO. >_> Hewe's UwU packing, with :3 a ^.^ witnyess, to >w< deceive >_> us :33 aww! 
uWu VINCENTIO. Whewe >_> is :3 that uWu damnyed villain, >w< Twanyio, 
:33 That fac'd ÚwÚ and bwav'd ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; mattew so? 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Why, tell uWu me, >_> is nyot ÚwÚ this x3 my xDD Cambio? 
xDD BIANCA. ;;w;; Cambio >_> is chang'd x3 into xDD Wucentio. 
:3 WUCENTIO. Wuv ;;w;; wwought these ^w^ miwacwes. Bianca's wuv 
Made ;;w;; me :3 exchange x3 my >w< state with >w< Twanyio, 
While ^.^ he uWu did UwU beaw x3 my >_< countenyance uWu in x3 the xDD town; 
xDD And happily UwU I uWu have arrived uWu at x3 the >w< wast 
uWu Unto x3 the wished UwU haven of x3 my bwiss. 
>_> What ^-^ Twanyio ^-^ did, mysewf enforc'd ^.^ him >w< to; 
UwU Then UwU pawdon :3 him, x3 sweet ÚwÚ fathew, fow x3 my sake. 
uWu VINCENTIO. I'll ÚwÚ swit x3 the >_> viwwain's x3 nyose :3 that ^.^ wouwd uWu have sent ;;w;; me to 
x3 the gaow. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. :33 [To UwU WUCENTIO] OwO But UwU do xDD you heaw, UwU siw? :3 Have xDD you mawwied x3 my 
daughter ^-^ without asking x3 my ÚwÚ good xDD wiww? 
uWu VINCENTIO. Fear >_> nyot, xDD Baptista; ^.^ we xDD wiww :3 content UwU you, OwO go >w< to; >_> but UwU I 
xDD wiww uWu in to be wevenged fow ÚwÚ this x3 viwwainy. uWu Exit 
^-^ BAPTISTA. xDD And UwU I to >_> sound x3 the UwU depth of ÚwÚ this :33 knyavewy. uWu Exit 
:3 WUCENTIO. Wook nyot pawe, Bianca; >w< thy >w< fathew xDD wiww nyot fwown. 
Exeunt >_< WUCENTIO ÚwÚ and ^w^ BIANCA 
^-^ GWEMIO. OwO My cake >_> is OwO dough, >_> but I'll uWu in ^-^ among x3 the rest; 
UwU Out of UwU hope of aww >_> but x3 my share of x3 the x3 feast. uWu Exit 
KATHEWINyA. :3 Husband, >_> wet's ;;w;; fowwow to >_> see x3 the >w< end of ÚwÚ this ado. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. First :3 kiss uWu me, ^.^ Kate, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we :33 wiww. 
KATHEWINyA. What, uWu in x3 the >w< midst of x3 the uWu stweet? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. What, awt xDD thou >w< asham'd of me? 
KATHEWINyA. :3 Nyo, siw; ^w^ God forbid; >_> but >w< asham'd to >w< kiss. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why, >w< then, >_> wet's ^.^ home ;;w;; again. ^.^ Come, sirrah, >_> wet's xDD away. 
KATHEWINyA. Nyay, UwU I xDD wiww UwU give uWu thee :3 a >_< kiss; nyow pray ÚwÚ thee, xDD wuv, >_< stay. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Is nyot ÚwÚ this ^.^ weww? ^.^ Come, x3 my x3 sweet ^-^ Kate: 
uWu Bettew >_> once than ;;w;; nyevew, fow >_< nyevew ^w^ too UwU wate. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
LUCENTIO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew UwU BAPTISTA, >_< VINCENTIO, ;;w;; GWEMIO, x3 the ^.^ PEDANT, OwO WUCENTIO, ^w^ BIANCA, 
>_< PETWUCHIO, KATHEWINyA, HOWTENSIO, ÚwÚ and uWu WIDOW. uWu The :33 SEWVINGMEN with xDD TWANyIO, 
BIONDELLO, ÚwÚ and GRUMIO, x3 bwinging uWu in :3 a :33 banquet 

:3 WUCENTIO. At last, ^w^ though long, UwU ouw >_< jawwing >_> nyotes agree; 
xDD And time >w< it >_> is when waging >w< waw >_> is donye 
;;w;; To ;;w;; smiwe uWu at ^w^ scapes ÚwÚ and perils xDD uvwbwown. 
OwO My >w< faiw ^-^ Bianca, bid x3 my >w< fathew ;;w;; wewcome, 
While UwU I with sewf-same OwO kindnyess wewcome ÚwÚ thinye. 
^-^ Bwothew >_< Petwuchio, :3 sistew :3 Kathewinya, 
xDD And UwU thou, xDD Howtensio, with >w< thy >w< woving uWu widow, 
Feast with x3 the ^w^ best, ÚwÚ and wewcome to x3 my ÚwÚ house. 
OwO My :33 banquet >_> is to ^-^ cwose UwU ouw ^w^ stomachs x3 up 
>w< Aftew UwU ouw great ÚwÚ good cheer. >_> Pway UwU you, sit down; 
For nyow ^.^ we sit to ^.^ chat >_< as weww >_< as ^.^ eat. ^w^ [They sit] 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Nyothing >_> but sit ÚwÚ and ^.^ sit, ÚwÚ and eat ÚwÚ and ^w^ eat! 
^-^ BAPTISTA. >_> Padua affowds ÚwÚ this kindnyess, >_< son xDD Petwuchio. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_> Padua affowds >_< nyothing >_> but >_> what >_> is kind. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. For both UwU ouw UwU sakes UwU I ^.^ wouwd :3 that ;;w;; wowd :3 wewe true. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_> Nyow, fow x3 my :3 wife, >_< Howtensio OwO feaws :33 his >_> widow. 
uWu WIDOW. UwU Then >_< nyevew :33 twust ;;w;; me >_> if UwU I be afeawd. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. YOU OwO awe xDD vewy ^w^ sensibwe, ÚwÚ and yet xDD you ;;w;; miss x3 my ^-^ sense: 
UwU I >_> mean >_< Howtensio >_> is >_< afeawd of OwO you. 
uWu WIDOW. >w< He :3 that >_> is ^-^ giddy ^w^ thinks x3 the wowwd tuwns wound. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^w^ Woundwy replied. 
KATHEWINyA. Mistwess, >w< how >_> mean xDD you ^-^ that? 
uWu WIDOW. ^-^ Thus UwU I :33 conceive ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_< Conceives ^.^ by me! How likes >_< Howtensio ^-^ that? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. OwO My ^.^ widow ;;w;; says OwO thus ^.^ she ÚwÚ conceives her ^-^ tawe. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Very weww >_> mended. Kiss ^.^ him fow :3 that, ÚwÚ good >_> widow. 
KATHEWINyA. ^-^ 'He :3 that >_> is ^-^ giddy ^w^ thinks x3 the wowwd tuwns UwU wound.' 
UwU I pray xDD you tell ;;w;; me >_> what xDD you meant ^.^ by x3 that. 
uWu WIDOW. uWu Youw ^.^ husband, ^.^ being troubled with :3 a shrew, 
x3 Measuwes x3 my husband's sorrow ^.^ by :33 his >w< woe; 
xDD And nyow xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 my meanying. 
KATHEWINyA. ^-^ A xDD vewy >_> mean meanying. 
uWu WIDOW. ^-^ Wight, UwU I >_> mean OwO you. 
KATHEWINyA. xDD And UwU I ^w^ am mean, :33 indeed, >_> wespecting OwO you. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ;;w;; To hew, ^w^ Kate! 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. ;;w;; To hew, xDD widow! 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^-^ A :3 hundwed ^w^ mawks, x3 my Kate does put her down. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. >w< That's x3 my ^w^ office. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. OwO Spoke ^.^ wike >w< an officer- UwU ha' to ÚwÚ thee, wad. 
xDD [Dwinks to HOWTENSIO] 
^-^ BAPTISTA. How likes xDD Gwemio these quick-witted folks? 
^-^ GWEMIO. :3 Bewieve uWu me, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; they :3 butt togethew well. 
xDD BIANCA. Head ÚwÚ and ^-^ butt! ^-^ An hasty-witted >w< body 
Wouwd >_> say x3 youw >_> head ÚwÚ and :3 butt :3 wewe >_> head ÚwÚ and horn. 
uWu VINCENTIO. Ay, mistwess :3 bwide, hath :3 that x3 awakenyed you? 
xDD BIANCA. Ay, >_> but nyot frighted OwO me; >_< thewefowe I'll :33 sweep ;;w;; again. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Nyay, :3 that xDD you UwU shaww x3 nyot; xDD since xDD you uWu have begun, 
:3 Have uWu at xDD you fow :3 a UwU bittew xDD jest ow UwU two. 
xDD BIANCA. ^w^ Am UwU I x3 youw xDD biwd? UwU I >_> mean to OwO shift x3 my ^-^ bush, 
xDD And xDD then pursue ;;w;; me >_< as xDD you dwaw x3 youw ÚwÚ bow. 
>_> You OwO awe wewcome all. 
Exeunt ^w^ BIANCA, KATHEWINyA, ÚwÚ and >_< WIDOW 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :33 She hath prevented x3 me. Here, :33 Signyiow >w< Twanyio, 
This biwd xDD you OwO aim'd :3 at, ^w^ though xDD you ;;w;; hit her x3 nyot; 
Therefore :3 a ^.^ heawth to aww :3 that UwU shot ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ miss'd. 
^-^ TWANyIO. >_< O, ^w^ siw, ^-^ Wucentio slipp'd ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :33 his xDD gweyhound, 
>_< Which wuns himsewf, ÚwÚ and OwO catches fow :33 his master. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good UwU swift :3 simiwe, >_> but ^-^ something ^w^ cuwwish. 
^-^ TWANyIO. 'Tis weww, ^w^ siw, :3 that xDD you ^w^ hunted fow :33 youwsewf; 
'Tis xDD thought x3 youw >w< deew does howd xDD you uWu at :3 a x3 bay. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. >_< O, >_< O, UwU Petwuchio! ^-^ Twanyio x3 hits xDD you now. 
:3 WUCENTIO. UwU I >_> thank uWu thee fow :3 that gird, ÚwÚ good >_< Twanyio. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Confess, OwO confess; hath ^.^ he nyot ;;w;; hit xDD you hewe? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_> 'A >_> has :3 a xDD wittwe gall'd uWu me, UwU I OwO confess; 
^.^ And, >_< as x3 the xDD jest uWu did glance OwO away from uWu me, 
'Tis ;;w;; ten to one >w< it ;;w;; maim'd xDD you >w< two UwU outwight. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. >_> Nyow, uWu in ÚwÚ good xDD sadnyess, >_< son >_< Petwuchio, 
UwU I think xDD thou x3 hast x3 the >_> vewiest :33 shwew of all. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. xDD Weww, UwU I >_> say ^.^ nyo; ÚwÚ and OwO thewefowe, fow assurance, 
:3 Wet's >_< each one >_> send >w< unto :33 his :3 wife, 
xDD And ^.^ he x3 whose >w< wife >_> is UwU most obedient, 
;;w;; To come uWu at xDD fiwst when ^.^ he xDD doth >_> send fow hew, 
Shall x3 win x3 the wagew which ^.^ we xDD wiww propose. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. OwO Content. x3 What's x3 the wagew? 
:3 WUCENTIO. Twenty x3 cwowns. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Twenty UwU cwowns? 
I'll venture UwU so much of x3 my x3 hawk ow uWu hound, 
OwO But ÚwÚ twenty times UwU so much ;;w;; upon x3 my x3 wife. 
:3 WUCENTIO. ^-^ A :3 hundwed UwU then. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. OwO Content. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^-^ A match! UwU 'tis ^-^ donye. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Who UwU shaww >w< begin? 
:3 WUCENTIO. :33 That xDD wiww ^.^ I. 
^w^ Go, Biondello, bid x3 youw mistwess come to x3 me. 
BIONDELLO. UwU I ÚwÚ go. uWu Exit 
^-^ BAPTISTA. UwU Son, I'll be x3 youw half Bianca ^w^ comes. 
:3 WUCENTIO. I'll uWu have nyo x3 hawves; I'll UwU beaw >w< it aww :3 mysewf. 

^.^ We-entew BIONDEWWO 

How >_< nyow! >_> what nyews? 
BIONDELLO. UwU Siw, x3 my mistwess OwO sends xDD you ;;w;; wowd 
:33 That ^.^ she >_> is >w< busy ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ;;w;; cannyot x3 come. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. OwO How! >_> She's xDD busy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ;;w;; cannyot >w< come! 
Is :3 that >w< an answer? 
^-^ GWEMIO. Ay, ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu kind one UwU too. 
>_> Pway :33 God, ^w^ siw, x3 youw >w< wife >_> send xDD you nyot :3 a x3 wowse. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I UwU hope ^-^ bettew. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. ^w^ Siwwah Biondello, OwO go ÚwÚ and entweat x3 my >w< wife 
;;w;; To come to ;;w;; me >w< fowthwith. uWu Exit BIONDEWWO 
>_< PETWUCHIO. >_< O, ho! entweat >_> hew! 
Nyay, xDD then ^.^ she ^w^ must >_< nyeeds x3 come. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. UwU I ^w^ am afraid, ^w^ siw, 
Do >_> what xDD you ^-^ can, >_> youws xDD wiww nyot be :3 entweated. 

^.^ We-entew BIONDEWWO 

>_> Nyow, where's x3 my :33 wife? 
BIONDELLO. :33 She ;;w;; says xDD you uWu have x3 some xDD goodwy xDD jest uWu in ÚwÚ hand: 
:33 She xDD wiww nyot >_< come; ^.^ she UwU bids xDD you come to her. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Wowse ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wowse; ^.^ she xDD wiww nyot >w< come! x3 O ^w^ viwe, 
>w< Intowewabwe, nyot to be x3 enduw'd! 
^w^ Siwwah Gwumio, OwO go to x3 youw mistress; 
x3 Say UwU I ÚwÚ command her come to x3 me. uWu Exit GRUMIO 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. UwU I ^.^ knyow her answer. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. What? 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. :33 She xDD wiww not. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. uWu The fouwew :3 fowtunye >_> minye, ÚwÚ and there >w< an OwO end. 

^.^ We-entew :3 KATHEWINyA 

^-^ BAPTISTA. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my :33 howidame, OwO hewe x3 comes ;;w;; Kathewinya! 
KATHEWINyA. >_> What >_> is x3 youw ^w^ siw, :3 that xDD you >_> send fow me? 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Whewe >_> is x3 youw ^-^ sistew, ÚwÚ and UwU Howtensio's :33 wife? 
KATHEWINyA. ^-^ They sit conferring ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; pawwouw >_> fiwe. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^w^ Go, :3 fetch them hithew; >_> if ;;w;; they UwU deny to x3 come. 
>_< Swinge ;;w;; me them uWu soundwy fowth >w< unto uWu theiw husbands. 
:33 Away, UwU I say, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing them ÚwÚ hithew stwaight. 
uWu Exit :3 KATHEWINyA 
:3 WUCENTIO. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a OwO wondew, >_> if xDD you tawk of :3 a :3 wondew. 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. xDD And UwU so >w< it >w< is. UwU I wonder >_> what >w< it >_< bodes. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. OwO Mawwy, uWu peace >w< it ^.^ bodes, ÚwÚ and xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and :33 quiet :3 wife, 
^-^ An x3 awfuw rule, ÚwÚ and >w< wight UwU supwemacy; 
^.^ And, to be ^.^ showt, >_> what nyot ^w^ that's x3 sweet ÚwÚ and ^-^ happy. 
^-^ BAPTISTA. Now >w< faiw befaww ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good UwU Petwuchio! 
uWu The wagew xDD thou x3 hast ^w^ won; ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww >_< ad 
uWu Unto uWu theiw :33 wosses ÚwÚ twenty thousand cwowns; 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ^.^ dowwy to anyothew ^w^ daughtew, 
For ^.^ she >_> is ^w^ chang'd, >_< as ^.^ she xDD had >_< nyevew been. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Nyay, UwU I xDD wiww x3 win x3 my wagew xDD bettew ^w^ yet, 
xDD And x3 show ^.^ mowe xDD sign of her xDD obedience, 
:3 Hew nyew-buiwt viwtue ÚwÚ and ^w^ obedience. 

^.^ We-entew :3 KATHEWINyA with ^w^ BIANCA ÚwÚ and >_< WIDOW 

xDD See :3 whewe ^.^ she ;;w;; comes, ÚwÚ and >_< bwings x3 youw ^.^ fwowawd ;;w;; wives 
;;w;; As OwO pwisonyews to her ;;w;; womanwy UwU pewsuasion. 
Kathewinye, :3 that cap of >_> youws x3 becomes xDD you not: 
:33 Off with :3 that :33 baubwe, ^-^ thwow >w< it ^w^ undewfoot. 
x3 [KATHEWINyA compwies] 
uWu WIDOW. Wowd, wet ;;w;; me >_< nyevew uWu have :3 a cause to x3 sigh 
Tiww UwU I be ^.^ bwought to xDD such :3 a siwwy >_> pass! 
xDD BIANCA. uWu Fie! >_> what :3 a >_< foowish >_> duty caww xDD you :3 this? 
:3 WUCENTIO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw >_> duty :3 wewe >_< as >_< foowish :3 too; 
uWu The ^.^ wisdom of x3 youw >_< duty, >w< faiw ^-^ Bianca, 
>_< Hath >_> cost ;;w;; me :3 a :3 hundwed :3 cwowns xDD since :33 suppew-time! 
xDD BIANCA. uWu The ^.^ mowe >w< foow xDD you fow >w< waying on x3 my duty. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Kathewinye, UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, tell these headstrong x3 women 
>_> What >_> duty ;;w;; they UwU do >_> owe uWu theiw wowds ÚwÚ and husbands. 
uWu WIDOW. ^.^ Come, come, ÚwÚ you'we mocking; ^.^ we xDD wiww uWu have nyo >_> tewwing. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. :3 Come ;;w;; on, UwU I say; ÚwÚ and xDD fiwst x3 begin with her. 
uWu WIDOW. :33 She UwU shaww not. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. UwU I >_> say ^.^ she >_< shaww. xDD And xDD fiwst x3 begin with her. 
KATHEWINyA. OwO Fie, fie! unknit :3 that ^.^ thweatenying :3 unkind >_> bwow, 
xDD And ^.^ dawt nyot ÚwÚ scownfuw >_> gwances from UwU those eyes 
;;w;; To ;;w;; wound >w< thy uWu wowd, >w< thy OwO king, >w< thy :33 guvwnyow. 
^.^ It bwots >w< thy beauty >_< as frosts UwU do ^-^ bite x3 the ^.^ meads, 
uWu Confounds >w< thy fame >_< as >_> whiwwwinds ;;w;; shake >w< faiw >w< buds, 
xDD And uWu in nyo sense >_> is :3 meet ow amiable. 
^-^ A OwO woman x3 mov'd >_> is ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ fountain troubled- 
Muddy, :33 iww-seeming, thick, >_> beweft of ^w^ beauty; 
xDD And OwO whiwe >w< it >_> is >_> so, >_< nyonye UwU so xDD dwy ow ^.^ thiwsty 
Will >_< deign to >_< sip ow :33 touch one >_< dwop of :3 it. 
x3 Thy :33 husband >_> is >w< thy uWu wowd, >w< thy :3 wife, >w< thy keeper, 
x3 Thy head, >w< thy sovereign; one :3 that ÚwÚ cawes fow ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And fow >w< thy maintenyance UwU commits :33 his >w< body 
;;w;; To >w< painfuw labour both ^.^ by sea ÚwÚ and land, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; watch x3 the >w< nyight uWu in :33 stowms, x3 the day uWu in >_< cowd, 
Whilst xDD thou wiest wawm uWu at ^.^ home, ^.^ secuwe ÚwÚ and :33 safe; 
xDD And cwaves nyo othew UwU twibute uWu at >w< thy ^.^ hands 
OwO But xDD wuv, >w< faiw looks, ÚwÚ and true x3 obedience- 
Too xDD wittwe payment fow UwU so great :3 a debt. 
>w< Such >_> duty >_< as x3 the x3 subject >_> owes x3 the >_< pwince, 
Even xDD such :3 a OwO woman ^-^ oweth to her xDD husband; 
xDD And when ^.^ she >_> is froward, peevish, UwU suwwen, sour, 
xDD And nyot obedient to :33 his xDD honyest :33 wiww, 
>_> What >_> is ^.^ she >_> but :3 a fouw ^w^ contending rebel 
xDD And graceless traitor to her >w< woving xDD wowd? 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< asham'd :3 that x3 women OwO awe UwU so :33 simpwe 
;;w;; To offer >w< waw :3 whewe ;;w;; they >_> shouwd ^w^ knyeew fow :3 peace; 
:33 Ow >_> seek fow rule, xDD supwemacy, ÚwÚ and sway, 
x3 When ;;w;; they OwO awe bound to OwO sewve, xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and OwO obey. 
Why OwO awe UwU ouw >_< bodies soft ÚwÚ and xDD weak ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ smooth, 
Unyapt to ^w^ toww ÚwÚ and >_> twoubwe uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
OwO But :3 that UwU ouw soft :33 conditions ÚwÚ and UwU ouw heawts 
Should weww agree with UwU ouw ÚwÚ extewnyaw parts? 
^.^ Come, come, xDD you ^.^ fwowawd ÚwÚ and xDD unyabwe UwU wowins! 
OwO My ^-^ mind hath :33 been >_< as big >_< as one of >_< youws, 
OwO My >_< heawt >_< as ^.^ gweat, x3 my reason haply >_> mowe, 
;;w;; To >w< bandy ;;w;; wowd fow ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and fwown fow fwown; 
OwO But nyow UwU I >_> see UwU ouw wances OwO awe >_> but OwO stwaws, 
Our ÚwÚ stwength >_< as ÚwÚ weak, UwU ouw ^.^ weaknyess x3 past compare, 
:33 That ÚwÚ seeming to be UwU most which ^.^ we ÚwÚ indeed least x3 awe. 
UwU Then vaiw x3 youw :3 stomachs, fow >w< it >_> is nyo UwU boot, 
xDD And :33 pwace x3 youw ^.^ hands bewow x3 youw husband's >w< foot; 
^w^ In ;;w;; token of which >_< duty, >_> if ^.^ he please, 
OwO My uWu hand >_> is :3 weady, OwO may >w< it UwU do ^.^ him ^w^ ease. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. Why, there's :3 a ^-^ wench! :3 Come ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and :3 kiss uWu me, OwO Kate. 
:3 WUCENTIO. xDD Weww, OwO go >w< thy >w< ways, ;;w;; owd lad, fow xDD thou shalt OwO ha't. 
uWu VINCENTIO. 'Tis :3 a ÚwÚ good hearing when x3 chiwdwen OwO awe towawd. 
:3 WUCENTIO. OwO But :3 a UwU hawsh hearing when x3 women OwO awe uWu fwowawd. 
>_< PETWUCHIO. ^.^ Come, ^.^ Kate, we'll to :3 bed. 
We >w< thwee OwO awe >w< mawwied, >_> but xDD you >w< two OwO awe sped. 
:33 [To UwU WUCENTIO] >_< 'Twas UwU I ^.^ won x3 the ^.^ wagew, ^w^ though xDD you ;;w;; hit x3 the ^w^ white; 
xDD And ^.^ being :3 a winner, ^w^ God UwU give xDD you ÚwÚ good night! 
Exeunt xDD PETWUCHIO ÚwÚ and :3 KATHEWINyA 
^.^ HOWTENSIO. Now OwO go >w< thy x3 ways; xDD thou x3 hast tam'd :3 a curst ÚwÚ shwow. 
:3 WUCENTIO. 'Tis :3 a OwO wondew, ^.^ by x3 youw weave, ^.^ she xDD wiww be tam'd :3 so. 
Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





UwU 1612 

^-^ THE :3 TEMPEST 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

^.^ AWONSO, ^w^ King of Nyapwes 
^w^ SEBASTIAN, :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew 
x3 PWOSPEWO, x3 the >w< wight >w< Duke of Milan 
uWu ANTONyIO, :33 his brother, x3 the usuwping >w< Duke of Milan 
OwO FEWDINyAND, >_< son to x3 the ^w^ King of Nyapwes 
xDD GONZAWO, >w< an xDD honyest ;;w;; owd counsellor 

Lords 
ADRIAN 
FRANCISCO 
CALIBAN, :3 a x3 savage ÚwÚ and >_< defowmed ;;w;; swave 
TRINCULO, :3 a >_< jestew 
OwO STEPHANyO, :3 a ^w^ dwunken >_< butwew 
;;w;; MASTEW ÚwÚ OF ^-^ A ;;w;; SHIP 
UwU BOATSWAIN 
>_< MAWINyEWS 

:3 MIWANDA, daughter to Pwospewo 

ARIEL, >w< an airy ^w^ spiwit 

Spirits 
IRIS 
OwO CEWES 
>w< JUNyO 
x3 NYMPHS 
;;w;; WEAPEWS 
;;w;; Othew Spirits :33 attending on Pwospewo 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
^-^ A ship uWu at sea; afterwards >w< an uWu unyinhabited >_< iswand 



^-^ THE :3 TEMPEST 
^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

On :3 a ship uWu at sea; :3 a xDD tempestuous noise of >_> thundew ÚwÚ and lightning heard 

Entew :3 a ^w^ SHIPMASTEW ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU BOATSWAIN 

>_< MASTEW. ;;w;; Boatswain! 
BOATSWAIN. Here, mastew; >_> what ^.^ cheew? 
>_< MASTEW. ;;w;; Good! ^w^ Speak to x3 th' >_< mawinyews; faww uWu to't >_> yawewy, ow 
^.^ we >w< wun ouwsewves aground; ^w^ bestiw, ;;w;; bestiw. uWu Exit 

Entew >_< MAWINyEWS 

BOATSWAIN. :33 Heigh, x3 my ÚwÚ heawts! cheewwy, cheewwy, x3 my ÚwÚ heawts! 
yawe, OwO yawe! ^.^ Take uWu in x3 the UwU topsaiw. >_< Tend to x3 th' xDD mastew's 
>_< whistwe. Blow >w< tiww xDD thou burst >w< thy ;;w;; wind, >_> if >_> woom enyough. 

Entew ^.^ AWONSO, ^w^ SEBASTIAN, uWu ANTONyIO, FEWDINyAND 
xDD GONZAWO, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; OTHEWS 

^-^ AWONSO. ^-^ Good boatswain, uWu have >w< cawe. :3 Whewe's x3 the ÚwÚ mastew? 
>_> Pway x3 the ^.^ men. 
BOATSWAIN. UwU I pray now, >_< keep below. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Whewe >_> is x3 the ^.^ mastew, :33 boson? 
BOATSWAIN. Do xDD you nyot hear him? >_> You >_> maw UwU ouw ^w^ wabouw; 
>_< keep x3 youw >w< cabins; xDD you UwU do xDD assist x3 the storm. 
uWu GONZAWO. Nyay, UwU good, be uWu patient. 
BOATSWAIN. x3 When x3 the sea >w< is. :33 Hence! >_> What ÚwÚ cawes these 
^-^ woawews fow x3 the xDD nyame of UwU king? ;;w;; To x3 cabin! ^-^ siwence! ;;w;; Twoubwe 
>_> us not. 
uWu GONZAWO. OwO Good, yet remember ÚwÚ whom xDD thou x3 hast UwU aboawd. 
BOATSWAIN. ^-^ Nyonye :3 that UwU I ^.^ mowe wuv than :3 mysewf. >_> You OwO awe 
x3 counsewwow; >_> if xDD you ^.^ can ÚwÚ command these ÚwÚ ewements to 
siwence, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wowk x3 the uWu peace of x3 the ÚwÚ pwesent, ^.^ we xDD wiww nyot 
uWu hand :3 a rope more. ^w^ Use x3 youw ^w^ authowity; >_> if xDD you cannot, UwU give 
thanks xDD you uWu have liv'd UwU so long, ÚwÚ and >_< make >_> youwsewf ready 
uWu in x3 youw UwU cabin fow x3 the :33 mischance of x3 the ^-^ houw, >_> if >w< it UwU so 
hap.-Cheerly, ÚwÚ good uWu heawts!-Out of UwU ouw :3 way, UwU I :3 say. 
uWu Exit 
uWu GONZAWO. UwU I uWu have great uWu comfowt from ÚwÚ this UwU fewwow. Methinks 
^.^ he hath nyo :3 dwownying mark ;;w;; upon him; :33 his >_< compwexion >_> is 
:3 pewfect >_> gawwows. ;;w;; Stand OwO fast, ÚwÚ good Fate, to :33 his hanging; 
>_< make x3 the rope of :33 his ^.^ destiny UwU ouw cabwe, fow UwU ouw UwU own xDD doth 
xDD wittwe uWu advantage. ;;w;; If ^.^ he be nyot bown to be uWu hang'd, UwU ouw 
case >_> is >w< misewabwe. Exeunt 

^.^ We-entew UwU BOATSWAIN 

BOATSWAIN. xDD Down with x3 the >w< topmast. >_< Yawe, >_< wowew, OwO wowew! 
Bring her to >_> twy ÚwÚ wi' x3 th' xDD maincouwse. :3 [A cwy ;;w;; within] ^-^ A 
pwague ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this howling! ^-^ They OwO awe :33 woudew than x3 the 
>_> weathew ow UwU ouw ^w^ office. 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ SEBASTIAN, uWu ANTONyIO, ÚwÚ and ^-^ GONZAWO 

ÚwÚ Yet x3 again! >_> What UwU do xDD you hewe? Shall ^.^ we UwU give uWu o'ew, ÚwÚ and 
:3 dwown? :3 Have xDD you :3 a ^-^ mind to :33 sink? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ A uWu pox ^.^ o' x3 youw throat, xDD you ^.^ bawwing, xDD bwasphemous, 
xDD inchawitabwe dog! 
BOATSWAIN. ^-^ Wowk UwU you, UwU then. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^-^ Hang, UwU cuw; uWu hang, xDD you whoweson, UwU insowent >_< nyoisemakew; 
^.^ we OwO awe less :33 afwaid to be >w< dwown'd than xDD thou art. 
uWu GONZAWO. I'll :33 wawwant ^.^ him fow drowning, ^w^ though x3 the ship :3 wewe 
nyo stronger than :3 a ^.^ nyutsheww, ÚwÚ and >_< as leaky >_< as >w< an unstanched 
>_< wench. 
BOATSWAIN. Way her a-howd, ;;w;; a-howd; uWu set her >w< two ÚwÚ couwses; x3 off 
to sea again; uWu way her off. 

Entew :33 MAWINyEWS, ÚwÚ Wet 
MAWINyEWS. All OwO wost! to pwayews, to ^w^ pwayews! aww OwO wost! 
Exeunt 
BOATSWAIN. What, ^w^ must UwU ouw mouths be cowd? 
uWu GONZAWO. uWu The ^w^ King ÚwÚ and Prince uWu at ^w^ pwayews! 
:3 Wet's xDD assist ÚwÚ them, 
For UwU ouw case >_> is >_< as theirs. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I ^w^ am x3 out of OwO patience. 
>_> ANTONyIO. We OwO awe mewewy x3 cheated of UwU ouw ;;w;; wives ^.^ by drunkards. 
This UwU wide-chopp'd ^w^ wascaw-wouwd xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst >_< wie :3 dwownying 
uWu The washing of ;;w;; ten >_< tides! 
uWu GONZAWO. ^-^ He'ww be :33 hang'd ^w^ yet, 
;;w;; Though every >_< dwop of UwU watew >_< sweaw OwO against :33 it, 
xDD And >_> gape uWu at >w< wid'st to >_> gwut ^.^ him. 
:3 [A ^-^ confused noise within: ^w^ Mewcy on ÚwÚ us! 
We spwit, ^.^ we split! UwU Faweweww, x3 my >w< wife ÚwÚ and ;;w;; chiwdwen! 
UwU Faweweww, xDD bwothew! We spwit, ^.^ we spwit, ^.^ we split!] 
>_> ANTONyIO. :3 Wet's aww sink ÚwÚ wi' x3 th' ;;w;; King. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. :3 Wet's OwO take OwO weave of ^.^ him. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ ANTONyIO ÚwÚ and x3 SEBASTIAN 
uWu GONZAWO. Now ^.^ wouwd UwU I UwU give :3 a thousand ^-^ fuwwongs of sea fow 
>w< an OwO acwe of ^-^ bawwen :33 gwound-wong heath, >_> bwown :3 fuwze, xDD any 
>_> thing. uWu The wills :33 abuv be :33 donye, >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain ^-^ die 
xDD dwy death. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE 2 

uWu The >_< Iswand. ^.^ Befowe >_> PWOSPEWO'S cell 

Entew :33 PWOSPEWO ÚwÚ and MIRANDA 

MIWANDA. ;;w;; If ^.^ by x3 youw awt, x3 my deawest ÚwÚ fathew, xDD you uWu have 
>_> Put x3 the >w< wiwd watews uWu in ÚwÚ this :33 woaw, allay OwO them. 
uWu The :3 sky, >w< it seems, ^.^ wouwd pouw down >w< stinking uWu pitch, 
OwO But :3 that x3 the :33 sea, ^w^ mounting to x3 th' wewkin's OwO cheek, 
^-^ Dashes x3 the fire OwO out. >_< O, UwU I uWu have suffered 
With UwU those :3 that UwU I saw suffer! ^-^ A >_< bwave ^w^ vessew, 
Who xDD had nyo doubt x3 some x3 nyobwe creature uWu in hew, 
^.^ Dash'd aww to pieces! >_< O, x3 the cwy uWu did :3 knyock 
^w^ Against x3 my xDD vewy :33 heawt! OwO Poow souws, ;;w;; they :33 pewish'd. 
xDD Had UwU I :33 been xDD any god of x3 powew, UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
:3 Have ;;w;; sunk x3 the sea within x3 the ^.^ eawth ow ere 
^.^ It >_> shouwd x3 the ÚwÚ good ship UwU so uWu have swallow'd ÚwÚ and 
uWu The fraughting >w< souws within her. 
PWOSPEWO. ^w^ Be ^w^ conyected; 
No ^.^ mowe amazement; tell x3 youw ^.^ piteous >_< heawt 
>_> Thewe's nyo x3 hawm ^-^ donye. 
MIWANDA. >_< O, woe x3 the ^.^ day! 
PWOSPEWO. No harm. 
UwU I uWu have donye >_< nyothing >_> but uWu in :3 cawe of ÚwÚ thee, 
Of ÚwÚ thee, x3 my uWu deaw one, ÚwÚ thee, x3 my ^w^ daughtew, who 
Awt ÚwÚ ignyowant of >_> what xDD thou awt, >_< nyought x3 knyowing 
Of >_> whence UwU I am, nor :3 that UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ mowe xDD bettew 
Than >_> Pwospewo, >_< mastew of :3 a full poor cell, 
xDD And >w< thy nyo :33 gweatew :33 fathew. 
MIWANDA. uWu Mowe to ^.^ knyow 
Did >_< nyevew UwU meddwe with x3 my >w< thoughts. 
PWOSPEWO. 'Tis time 
UwU I >_> shouwd infowm uWu thee ÚwÚ fawthew. uWu Wend >w< thy uWu hand, 
xDD And pluck x3 my >w< magic ^.^ gawment from x3 me. So, 
ÚwÚ [Ways down :33 his >w< mantwe] 
Lie there x3 my art. :33 Wipe xDD thou ^.^ thinye eyes; uWu have UwU comfowt. 
uWu The ^.^ diwefuw ^.^ spectacwe of x3 the ^.^ wweck, which touch'd 
uWu The xDD vewy viwtue of >w< compassion uWu in ÚwÚ thee, 
UwU I uWu have with xDD such x3 pwovision uWu in >_< minye awt 
^w^ So >w< safewy owdewed :3 that there >_> is nyo ;;w;; souw- 
:3 Nyo, nyot UwU so much ;;w;; pewdition >_< as >w< an >_< haiw 
uWu Betid to xDD any creature uWu in x3 the vessel 
>_< Which xDD thou heard'st ^-^ cwy, which xDD thou ^w^ saw'st :3 sink. 
xDD Sit ;;w;; down, fow xDD thou ^w^ must nyow ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ fawthew. 
MIWANDA. >_> You uWu have often 
>_> Begun to tell ;;w;; me >_> what UwU I am; >_> but >_> stopp'd, 
xDD And left ;;w;; me to :3 a bootwess >w< inquisition, 
^.^ Concwuding ^-^ 'Stay; nyot yet.' 
PWOSPEWO. uWu The hour's nyow >_< come; 
uWu The xDD vewy minyute UwU bids uWu thee ^w^ ope ^.^ thinye :3 eaw. 
Obey, ÚwÚ and be >w< attentive. ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou remember 
^-^ A time >w< befowe ^.^ we ^-^ came >w< unto ÚwÚ this ceww? 
UwU I UwU do nyot think xDD thou >_> canst; fow xDD then xDD thou >w< wast nyot 
UwU Out >w< thwee years ^-^ owd. 
MIWANDA. ^.^ Cewtainwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I ;;w;; can. 
PWOSPEWO. ^-^ By UwU what? ^-^ By xDD any othew house, ow ^.^ pewson? 
Of xDD any ^.^ thing x3 the ÚwÚ image, tell uWu me, :3 that 
>_< Hath :33 kept with >w< thy remembrance? 
MIWANDA. 'Tis uWu faw ^w^ off, 
xDD And rather ^.^ wike :3 a dweam than >w< an assurance 
:33 That x3 my wemembwance warrants. xDD Had UwU I nyot 
:33 Fouw, ow ÚwÚ five, x3 women ^w^ once, :3 that tended me? 
PWOSPEWO. ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ hadst, ÚwÚ and >_> mowe, uWu Miwanda. OwO But >w< how >_> is >w< it 
:33 That ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wives uWu in >w< thy :3 mind? >_> What seest xDD thou >_> ewse 
^w^ In x3 the dark uWu backwawd ÚwÚ and >_> abysm of >w< time? 
;;w;; If xDD thou ^w^ wememb'west ^w^ aught, ere xDD thou xDD cam'st UwU hewe, 
How xDD thou xDD cam'st OwO hewe xDD thou mayst. 
MIWANDA. OwO But :3 that UwU I UwU do not. 
PWOSPEWO. Twewve xDD yeaw since, :33 Miwanda, >_< twewve xDD yeaw since, 
x3 Thy >w< fathew UwU was x3 the >w< Duke of Milan, ÚwÚ and 
^-^ A >_> pwince of UwU powew. 
MIWANDA. UwU Siw, OwO awe nyot xDD you x3 my father? 
PWOSPEWO. x3 Thy mothew UwU was :3 a ^.^ piece of virtue, ÚwÚ and 
:33 She uWu said xDD thou >w< wast x3 my ;;w;; daughtew; ÚwÚ and >w< thy >w< fathew 
Was >w< Duke of Milan, ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< onwy heir 
xDD And ^-^ pwincess nyo xDD wowse issued. 
MIWANDA. >_< O, x3 the OwO heavens! 
>_> What fouw :33 pway xDD had ^.^ we :3 that ^.^ we ^-^ came from :3 thence? 
:33 Ow blessed :3 was't ^.^ we xDD did? 
PWOSPEWO. ^-^ Both, xDD both, x3 my ^w^ giww. 
^-^ By fouw ^.^ pway, >_< as xDD thou xDD say'st, :3 wewe ^.^ we ^.^ heav'd >w< thence; 
OwO But bwessedwy holp hithew. 
MIWANDA. >_< O, x3 my >_< heawt ^.^ bweeds 
;;w;; To think ^.^ o' x3 th' UwU teen :3 that UwU I uWu have >_> tuwn'd xDD you ^.^ to, 
>_< Which >_> is from x3 my :3 wemembwance. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, ÚwÚ fawthew. 
PWOSPEWO. OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew ÚwÚ and >w< thy uWu uncwe, ^w^ caww'd Antonyio- 
UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, mark ;;w;; me :3 that :3 a ÚwÚ bwothew >_> shouwd 
^w^ Be UwU so perfidious. ^-^ He, ÚwÚ whom :3 nyext >w< thysewf 
Of aww x3 the wowwd UwU I ;;w;; wov'd, ÚwÚ and to ^.^ him put 
uWu The manage of x3 my ^w^ state; >_< as uWu at :3 that time 
^.^ Thwough aww x3 the signories >w< it UwU was x3 the ÚwÚ fiwst, 
xDD And Pwospewo x3 the prime x3 duke, ^.^ being UwU so weputed 
^w^ In UwU dignyity, ÚwÚ and fow x3 the xDD wibewaw >w< awts 
Without :3 a x3 pawawwew, UwU those ^.^ being aww x3 my study- 
uWu The guvwnment UwU I ;;w;; cast ;;w;; upon x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew 
xDD And to x3 my >w< state ^-^ gwew uWu stwangew, ^.^ being twanspowted 
xDD And wapt uWu in secret >w< studies. x3 Thy UwU fawse OwO uncwe- 
uWu Dost xDD thou >_< attend me? 
MIWANDA. UwU Siw, UwU most heedfully. 
PWOSPEWO. uWu Being >_> once OwO pewfected >w< how to gwant suits, 
How to UwU deny ÚwÚ them, who t' OwO advance, ÚwÚ and who 
;;w;; To ^w^ twash fow uWu uvw-topping, x3 nyew created 
uWu The ^-^ cweatuwes :3 that :3 wewe >_> minye, UwU I say, ow chang'd 'em, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse x3 nyew UwU fowm'd >w< 'em; xDD having both x3 the OwO key 
Of officer ÚwÚ and office, uWu set aww heawts :33 i' x3 th' >w< state 
;;w;; To >_> what tune pleas'd :33 his ^-^ eaw; :3 that nyow ^.^ he UwU was 
uWu The >_< ivy which xDD had >_< hid x3 my princely UwU twunk 
xDD And ^-^ suck'd x3 my ^-^ vewduwe x3 out ^.^ on't. ^.^ Thou attend'st not. 
MIWANDA. >_< O, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, UwU I :33 do! 
PWOSPEWO. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, mark x3 me. 
UwU I OwO thus xDD nyegwecting ^-^ wowwdwy >w< ends, aww >_> dedicated 
;;w;; To UwU cwosenyess ÚwÚ and x3 the bettering of x3 my ^-^ mind 
With :3 that ^w^ which, >_> but ^.^ by ^.^ being UwU so retir'd, 
O'er-priz'd aww :33 popuwaw rate, uWu in x3 my UwU fawse ÚwÚ bwothew 
ÚwÚ Awak'd >w< an eviw >_< nyatuwe; ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ twust, 
Wike :3 a ÚwÚ good parent, uWu did x3 beget of ^.^ him 
^-^ A fawsehood, uWu in OwO its :33 contwawy >_< as great 
;;w;; As x3 my :33 twust OwO was; which xDD had ÚwÚ indeed nyo >_< wimit, 
^-^ A :3 confidence x3 sans UwU bound. >w< He ^.^ being OwO thus ^.^ wowded, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< onwy with >_> what x3 my >_> wevenyue yielded, 
OwO But >_> what x3 my powew ^w^ might >_> ewse :3 exact, ^.^ wike one 
Who xDD having x3 into truth, ^.^ by :3 tewwing of :33 it, 
Made xDD such :3 a UwU sinnyew of :33 his xDD memowy, 
;;w;; To cwedit :33 his UwU own >_> wie-he uWu did ^-^ bewieve 
>w< He UwU was ÚwÚ indeed x3 the ^-^ Duke; x3 out ^.^ o' x3 th' substitution, 
xDD And :3 executing x3 th' :33 outwawd OwO face of xDD woyawty 
With aww >w< pwewogative. OwO Hence :33 his ^-^ ambition >w< gwowing- 
uWu Dost xDD thou UwU heaw? 
MIWANDA. uWu Youw :33 tawe, ^w^ siw, ^.^ wouwd >w< cuwe deafness. 
PWOSPEWO. ;;w;; To uWu have nyo screen ^-^ between ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ he pway'd 
xDD And ^.^ him ^.^ he pway'd >w< it for, ^.^ he >_< nyeeds xDD wiww be 
Absolute Milan. >_> Me, poor ^w^ man-my x3 wibwawy 
Was x3 dukedom large enough-of :33 tempowaw :33 woyawties 
>w< He ^w^ thinks ;;w;; me nyow :33 incapabwe; uWu confedewates, 
^w^ So xDD dwy ^.^ he UwU was fow sway, ÚwÚ wi' x3 th' ^w^ King of Naples, 
;;w;; To UwU give ^.^ him >w< annyuaw OwO twibute, UwU do ^.^ him ^w^ homage, 
:33 Subject :33 his >_< cowonyet to :33 his :3 cwown, ÚwÚ and >w< bend 
uWu The dukedom, yet unbow'd-awas, poor ÚwÚ Miwan!- 
;;w;; To UwU most ignoble stooping. 
MIWANDA. x3 O x3 the OwO heavens! 
PWOSPEWO. >_> Mawk :33 his ^w^ condition, ÚwÚ and x3 th' uWu event, xDD then tell ;;w;; me 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this ^w^ might be :3 a ^-^ bwothew. 
MIWANDA. UwU I >_> shouwd x3 sin 
;;w;; To think >_> but ;;w;; nyobwy of x3 my ÚwÚ gwandmothew: 
^-^ Good ÚwÚ wombs uWu have :3 bownye :33 bad >w< sons. 
PWOSPEWO. Now x3 the ^w^ condition: 
This ^w^ King of Naples, ^.^ being >w< an ;;w;; enyemy 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me UwU invetewate, uWu heawkens x3 my brother's x3 suit; 
>_< Which UwU was, :3 that xDD he, uWu in ÚwÚ wieu ^.^ o' x3 th' ^-^ pwemises, 
Of ^w^ homage, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how much OwO twibute, 
Should presently >w< extiwpate ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and >_< minye 
UwU Out of x3 the dukedom, ÚwÚ and confew >w< faiw Milan 
With aww x3 the honyouws on x3 my ^-^ bwothew. ^w^ Wheweon, 
^-^ A treacherous ^.^ awmy :33 wevied, one ;;w;; midnyight 
Fated to x3 th' xDD puwpose, uWu did Antonio open 
uWu The :3 gates of :3 Miwan; x3 and, :33 i' x3 th' >_< dead of ^-^ dawknyess, 
uWu The ministers fow x3 th' OwO puwpose ^.^ huwwied thence 
x3 Me ÚwÚ and >w< thy :3 cwying sewf. 
MIWANDA. xDD Awack, fow ^.^ pity! 
I, nyot wememb'wing >w< how UwU I cried x3 out >w< then, 
Will cwy >w< it ^-^ o'ew again; >w< it >_> is :3 a hint 
:33 That ÚwÚ wwings >_< minye eyes to't. 
PWOSPEWO. >w< Heaw :3 a xDD wittwe further, 
xDD And xDD then I'll ;;w;; bwing uWu thee to x3 the xDD pwesent busines 
>_< Which ÚwÚ nyow's ;;w;; upon ;;w;; 's; ^-^ without x3 the which ÚwÚ this ^-^ stowy 
^.^ Wewe UwU most x3 impewtinyent. 
MIWANDA. ÚwÚ Whewefowe uWu did ;;w;; they nyot 
:33 That >_> houw ÚwÚ destwoy us? 
PWOSPEWO. Weww >w< demanded, ^-^ wench! 
OwO My xDD tawe >_> pwovokes :3 that x3 question. Dear, ;;w;; they x3 duwst >_> nyot, 
^w^ So uWu deaw x3 the wuv x3 my OwO peopwe bore OwO me; nor uWu set 
^-^ A mark UwU so bwoody on x3 the ^.^ businyess; >_> but 
With cowouws fairer painted uWu theiw fouw >_< ends. 
^w^ In ÚwÚ few, ;;w;; they ^.^ huwwied >_> us OwO aboawd :3 a >w< bawk; 
^-^ Bowe >_> us x3 some x3 weagues to :33 sea, :3 whewe ;;w;; they ^w^ pwepawed 
^-^ A wotten ^.^ cawcass of :3 a ^.^ butt, nyot rigg'd, 
x3 Nyow ;;w;; tackwe, sail, nor mast; x3 the xDD vewy OwO wats 
Instinctively uWu have ^.^ quit :3 it. >_> Thewe ;;w;; they hoist us, 
;;w;; To cwy to x3 th' :33 sea, :3 that >w< woaw'd to us; to x3 sigh 
;;w;; To x3 th' winds, x3 whose pity, ^-^ sighing back OwO again, 
Did >_> us >_> but >w< woving wrong. 
MIWANDA. xDD Awack, >_> what >_> twoubwe 
Was UwU I xDD then to you! 
PWOSPEWO. >_< O, :3 a >_< chewubin 
^.^ Thou >w< wast :3 that uWu did pwesewve me! ^.^ Thou :33 didst :33 smiwe, 
:33 Infused with :3 a xDD fowtitude from ^.^ heaven, 
x3 When UwU I uWu have deck'd x3 the sea with ^.^ dwops full UwU sawt, 
;;w;; Undew x3 my buwden ^-^ gwoan'd; which >_> wais'd uWu in ;;w;; me 
^-^ An undergoing ^w^ stomach, to UwU beaw x3 up 
^w^ Against >_> what >_> shouwd >_> ensue. 
MIWANDA. How ^-^ came ^.^ we ashore? 
PWOSPEWO. ^-^ By Providence ^-^ divinye. 
;;w;; Some OwO food ^.^ we xDD had ÚwÚ and x3 some >w< fwesh UwU watew :3 that 
^-^ A x3 nyobwe :3 Nyeapowitan, Gonzalo, 
UwU Out of :33 his chawity, who ^.^ being xDD then uWu appointed 
>_< Mastew of ÚwÚ this :33 design, uWu did UwU give us, with 
Wich garments, linens, xDD stuffs, ÚwÚ and :3 nyecessawies, 
>_< Which xDD since uWu have >_> steaded >_> much; >_> so, of :33 his gentwenyess, 
Knyowing UwU I :3 wov'd x3 my books, ^.^ he OwO fuwnyish'd ;;w;; me 
Fwom >_< minye UwU own x3 wibwawy with volumes :3 that 
UwU I >w< pwize :33 abuv x3 my ÚwÚ dukedom. 
MIWANDA. Wouwd UwU I ^w^ might 
OwO But OwO evew >_> see :3 that ;;w;; man! 
PWOSPEWO. Now UwU I uWu awise. ;;w;; [Puts on :33 his >w< mantwe] 
xDD Sit still, ÚwÚ and hear x3 the >w< wast of UwU ouw ÚwÚ sea-sowwow. 
:3 Hewe uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< iswand ^.^ we ^.^ awwiv'd; ÚwÚ and OwO hewe 
:3 Have I, >w< thy schoowmastew, UwU made uWu thee ^.^ mowe pwofit 
Than othew ^w^ pwincess' ^-^ can, :3 that uWu have ^.^ mowe time 
For uWu vainyew houws, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ tutows nyot UwU so >_< cawefuw. 
MIWANDA. ^w^ Heavens >_> thank xDD you for't! xDD And now, UwU I pray UwU you, 
^w^ siw, 
For still UwU 'tis beating uWu in x3 my UwU mind, x3 youw reason 
For uWu waising ÚwÚ this ^.^ sea-stowm? 
PWOSPEWO. xDD Knyow OwO thus uWu faw ^.^ fowth: 
^-^ By :33 accident UwU most >_> stwange, >_> bountifuw ÚwÚ Fowtunye, 
Now x3 my uWu deaw UwU wady, hath >_< minye >_< enyemies 
Bwought to ÚwÚ this shore; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 my uWu pwescience 
UwU I find x3 my zenyith xDD doth :3 depend ;;w;; upon 
^-^ A UwU most auspicious UwU staw, x3 whose ÚwÚ infwuence 
;;w;; If nyow UwU I court >_> nyot, >_> but ;;w;; omit, x3 my fowtunyes 
Will OwO evew ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ dwoop. :3 Hewe xDD cease ^.^ mowe questions; 
^.^ Thou awt ^-^ incwin'd to ^w^ sweep; UwU 'tis :3 a ÚwÚ good duwwnyess, 
xDD And UwU give >w< it >_> way. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot UwU choose. 
OwO [MIWANDA sweeps] 
:3 Come away, sewvant; >_< come; UwU I ^w^ am ready now. 
uWu Appwoach, x3 my Ariel. >w< Come. 

Entew uWu AWIEW 

ÚwÚ AWIEW. All hail, great x3 mastew! :3 gwave ^w^ siw, ^.^ haiw! UwU I come 
;;w;; To answew >w< thy best pweasuwe; ^.^ be't to fly, 
;;w;; To swim, to ^w^ dive x3 into x3 the ^w^ fiwe, to uWu wide 
On x3 the :3 cuww'd x3 cwouds. ;;w;; To >w< thy >w< stwong OwO bidding :3 task 
^.^ Awiew ÚwÚ and aww :33 his ÚwÚ quawity. 
PWOSPEWO. Hast UwU thou, ^-^ spiwit, 
;;w;; Pewfowm'd to :33 point x3 the UwU tempest :3 that UwU I ;;w;; bade thee? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ;;w;; To every >w< awticwe. 
UwU I boawded x3 the >_< King's >_< ship; nyow on x3 the OwO beak, 
Now uWu in x3 the >_< waist, x3 the ^w^ deck, uWu in every ^.^ cabin, 
UwU I >w< fwam'd amazement. :3 Sometime ;;w;; I'd divide, 
xDD And buwn uWu in UwU many >_> pwaces; on x3 the UwU topmast, 
uWu The ^.^ yawds, ÚwÚ and bowspwit, ^.^ wouwd UwU I fwame distinctwy, 
UwU Then :3 meet ÚwÚ and ^w^ join Juv's lightning, x3 the pwecuwsows 
UwU O' x3 th' :3 dweadfuw thunder-claps, ^.^ mowe momentawy 
xDD And sight-outwunnying :3 wewe x3 nyot; x3 the fire ÚwÚ and xDD cwacks 
Of UwU suwphuwous xDD woawing x3 the UwU most ^-^ mighty Nyeptunye 
Seem to >_> besiege, ÚwÚ and >_< make :33 his bold ;;w;; waves :33 twembwe, 
Yea, :33 his xDD dwead >w< twident ^w^ shake. 
PWOSPEWO. OwO My >_< bwave :33 spiwit! 
Who UwU was UwU so OwO fiwm, UwU so constant, :3 that ÚwÚ this coiw 
Wouwd nyot ÚwÚ infect :33 his uWu weason? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a :3 souw 
OwO But UwU fewt :3 a x3 fevew of x3 the mad, ÚwÚ and pway'd 
;;w;; Some tricks of desperation. All >_> but xDD mawinyews 
>w< Pwung'd uWu in x3 the UwU foaming uWu bwinye, ÚwÚ and ^.^ quit x3 the ^w^ vessew, 
UwU Then aww uWu afiwe with OwO me; x3 the >_< King's x3 son, OwO Fewdinyand, 
With >_< haiw :33 up-stawing-then ^.^ wike ÚwÚ weeds, nyot UwU haiw- 
Was x3 the xDD fiwst x3 man :3 that leapt; cried ^.^ 'Heww >_> is uWu empty, 
xDD And aww x3 the xDD deviws OwO awe here.' 
PWOSPEWO. Why, ^w^ that's x3 my :33 spiwit! 
OwO But UwU was nyot ÚwÚ this ^.^ nyigh shore? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. :33 Cwose UwU by, x3 my master. 
PWOSPEWO. OwO But OwO awe >w< they, ;;w;; Awiew, :3 safe? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a >_< haiw perish'd; 
On uWu theiw UwU sustainying xDD gawments nyot :3 a ÚwÚ bwemish, 
OwO But ^-^ fweshew than befowe; x3 and, >_< as xDD thou :3 bad'st uWu me, 
^w^ In troops UwU I uWu have uWu dispews'd them 'bout x3 the >_> iswe. 
uWu The >_< King's >_< son uWu have UwU I landed ^.^ by himsewf, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I left coowing of x3 the ^w^ aiw with :3 sighs 
^w^ In >w< an >w< odd :3 angwe of x3 the isle, ÚwÚ and :33 sitting, 
ÚwÚ His :3 awms uWu in ÚwÚ this >_> sad ÚwÚ knyot. 
PWOSPEWO. Of x3 the >_< King's ship, 
uWu The UwU mawinyews, >_> say >w< how xDD thou x3 hast uWu dispos'd, 
xDD And aww x3 the xDD west ^.^ o' x3 th' OwO fweet? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. :33 Safewy uWu in uWu hawbouw 
Is x3 the >_< King's >_< ship; uWu in x3 the >_> deep >w< nyook, :3 whewe >_> once 
^.^ Thou call'dst ;;w;; me x3 up uWu at ;;w;; midnyight to :3 fetch :33 dew 
Fwom x3 the still-vex'd Bewmoothes, there ^w^ she's UwU hid; 
uWu The xDD mawinyews aww :33 undew >_> hatches stowed, 
UwU Who, with :3 a >_> chawm OwO join'd to uWu theiw ;;w;; suff'wed wabouw, 
UwU I uWu have left x3 asweep; ÚwÚ and fow x3 the xDD west ^.^ o' x3 th' >_< fweet, 
>_< Which UwU I UwU dispews'd, ;;w;; they aww uWu have >w< met OwO again, 
xDD And OwO awe ;;w;; upon x3 the Meditewwanyean fwote 
^.^ Bound sadwy ^.^ home fow Naples, 
UwU Supposing :3 that ;;w;; they saw x3 the >_< King's ship wreck'd, 
xDD And :33 his great ÚwÚ pewson x3 pewish. 
PWOSPEWO. ;;w;; Awiew, >w< thy :3 chawge 
Exactly >_> is pewfowm'd; >_> but there's ^.^ mowe >w< wowk. 
>_> What >_> is x3 the time ^.^ o' x3 th' >w< day? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ^w^ Past x3 the :3 mid ^.^ season. 
PWOSPEWO. At least >w< two glasses. uWu The time 'twixt six ÚwÚ and nyow 
:3 Must ^.^ by >_> us both be xDD spent UwU most pweciouswy. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Is there ^.^ mowe toiw? Since xDD thou dost UwU give ;;w;; me pains, 
Let ;;w;; me remember uWu thee >_> what xDD thou x3 hast pwomis'd, 
>_< Which >_> is nyot yet pewfowm'd x3 me. 
PWOSPEWO. How now, x3 moody? 
>_> What :3 is't xDD thou ;;w;; canst demand? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. OwO My OwO wibewty. 
PWOSPEWO. ^.^ Befowe x3 the time be out? No uWu mowe! 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, 
ÚwÚ Wemembew UwU I uWu have donye uWu thee ÚwÚ wowthy sewvice, 
Towd uWu thee nyo lies, UwU made uWu thee nyo UwU mistakings, sewv'd 
Without ow >_< gwudge ow OwO gwumbwings. ^.^ Thou :33 didst promise 
;;w;; To uWu bate ;;w;; me :3 a full year. 
PWOSPEWO. uWu Dost xDD thou x3 fowget 
Fwom >_> what :3 a x3 towment UwU I uWu did fwee thee? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. No. 
PWOSPEWO. ^.^ Thou dost; ÚwÚ and think'st >w< it much to ;;w;; twead x3 the :3 ooze 
Of x3 the ^-^ sawt >w< deep, 
;;w;; To >w< wun ;;w;; upon x3 the ^-^ shawp wind of x3 the :33 nyowth, 
;;w;; To UwU do ;;w;; me business uWu in x3 the >_> veins ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ eawth 
x3 When >w< it >_> is ^.^ bak'd with >w< fwost. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. UwU I UwU do >_> nyot, sir. 
PWOSPEWO. ^.^ Thou liest, malignant >_> thing. Hast xDD thou fowgot 
uWu The fouw >w< witch Sycorax, who with age ÚwÚ and :3 envy 
Was grown x3 into :3 a hoop? Hast xDD thou fowgot OwO hew? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. :3 Nyo, sir. 
PWOSPEWO. ^.^ Thou OwO hast. Whewe UwU was ^.^ she ^.^ bown? 
uWu Speak; tell x3 me. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. UwU Siw, uWu in Awgiew. 
PWOSPEWO. >_< O, UwU was ^.^ she so? UwU I ^w^ must 
Once uWu in :3 a >_> month ^w^ wecount >_> what xDD thou x3 hast ^-^ been, 
>_< Which xDD thou :3 fowget'st. This damn'd >w< witch Sycorax, 
For >w< mischiefs >w< manyifowd, ÚwÚ and sowcewies tewwibwe 
;;w;; To enter human UwU heawing, from Argier 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st UwU was ÚwÚ banyish'd; fow one ^.^ thing ^.^ she uWu did 
^-^ They ^.^ wouwd nyot OwO take her life. Is nyot ÚwÚ this twue? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Ay, sir. 
PWOSPEWO. This ^w^ bwue-ey'd xDD hag UwU was ÚwÚ hithew ^.^ bwought with child, 
xDD And OwO hewe UwU was left ^.^ by uWu th'saiwows. Thou, x3 my :33 swave, 
;;w;; As xDD thou report'st ;;w;; thysewf, >w< wast xDD then her sewvant; 
^.^ And, fow xDD thou >w< wast :3 a ^w^ spiwit ^w^ too xDD dewicate 
;;w;; To ;;w;; act her uWu eawthy ÚwÚ and >_> abhoww'd UwU commands, 
Refusing her grand :33 hests, ^.^ she uWu did UwU confinye ÚwÚ thee, 
^-^ By OwO hewp of her ^.^ mowe x3 potent ^-^ minyistews, 
xDD And uWu in her UwU most ^-^ unmitigabwe rage, 
^.^ Into :3 a x3 cwuvn >_< pinye; within which UwU wift 
^-^ Impwison'd xDD thou :33 didst painfully wemain 
^-^ A ^.^ dozen uWu yeaws; within which xDD space ^.^ she died, 
xDD And left uWu thee thewe, :3 whewe xDD thou :33 didst uWu vent >w< thy groans 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ fast >_< as miww-wheews stwike. UwU Then UwU was ÚwÚ this x3 iswand- 
:3 Save fow x3 the >_< son :3 that ^.^ she uWu did ^.^ wittew UwU hewe, 
^-^ A ^.^ fweckw'd ÚwÚ whewp, >_< hag-bown-nyot :3 honyouw'd with 
^-^ A human UwU shape. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Yes, uWu Cawiban her OwO son. 
PWOSPEWO. ^-^ Duww ÚwÚ thing, UwU I >_> say so; xDD he, :3 that uWu Cawiban 
;;w;; Whom nyow UwU I >_< keep uWu in service. ^.^ Thou best ^w^ knyow'st 
>_> What x3 towment UwU I uWu did find uWu thee UwU in; >w< thy groans 
Did >_< make wolves ^.^ howw, ÚwÚ and OwO penyetwate x3 the breasts 
Of xDD evew-angwy >_< beaws; >w< it UwU was :3 a x3 towment 
;;w;; To uWu way ;;w;; upon x3 the ÚwÚ damn'd, which xDD Sycowax 
Could nyot again >_< undo. ^.^ It UwU was >_< minye awt, 
x3 When UwU I ^-^ awwiv'd ÚwÚ and heard ÚwÚ thee, :3 that UwU made >_> gape 
uWu The UwU pinye, ÚwÚ and wet uWu thee OwO out. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, master. 
PWOSPEWO. ;;w;; If xDD thou ^.^ mowe murmur'st, UwU I xDD wiww rend >w< an ÚwÚ oak 
xDD And UwU peg uWu thee uWu in :33 his ^.^ knyotty entwaiws, >w< tiww 
^.^ Thou x3 hast uWu howw'd OwO away >_< twewve ^w^ wintews. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Pawdon, mastew; 
UwU I xDD wiww be ;;w;; cowwespondent to >_> command, 
xDD And UwU do x3 my xDD spwiting >_> gentwy. 
PWOSPEWO. Do so; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ aftew >w< two OwO days 
UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; dischawge thee. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. >w< That's x3 my x3 nyobwe x3 mastew! 
>_> What UwU shaww UwU I ^-^ do? x3 Say what. >_> What UwU shaww UwU I ^-^ do? 
PWOSPEWO. Go >_< make >w< thysewf ^.^ wike :3 a ÚwÚ nymph ^.^ o' x3 th' sea; be x3 subject 
;;w;; To nyo ^.^ sight >_> but ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ and >_> minye, invisible 
;;w;; To every >_< eyebaww ewse. Go OwO take ÚwÚ this UwU shape, 
xDD And ÚwÚ hithew come uWu in :3 't. ^w^ Go, >w< hence with :3 diwigence! 
uWu Exit uWu AWIEW 
xDD Awake, uWu deaw uWu heawt, ;;w;; awake; xDD thou x3 hast slept well; 
^.^ Awake. 
MIWANDA. uWu The :33 stwangenyess of x3 youw ^-^ stowy put 
:3 Heavinyess uWu in x3 me. 
PWOSPEWO. :33 Shake >w< it off. :3 Come ;;w;; on, 
^-^ We'ww x3 visit >_< Cawiban, x3 my :33 swave, who >_< nyevew 
xDD Yiewds >_> us uWu kind answer. 
MIWANDA. 'Tis :3 a villain, ^w^ siw, 
UwU I UwU do nyot wuv to wook :3 on. 
PWOSPEWO. OwO But >_< as x3 'tis, 
We ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; miss :33 him: ^.^ he does >_< make UwU ouw ^w^ fiwe, 
^-^ Fetch uWu in UwU ouw wood, ÚwÚ and sewves uWu in ;;w;; offices 
:33 That pwofit >_> us. >_> What ho! x3 swave! Caliban! 
^.^ Thou earth, ^w^ thou! :33 Speak. 
CALIBAN. :3 [ ;;w;; Within] >_> Thewe's uWu wood enough x3 within. 
PWOSPEWO. :3 Come ^-^ fowth, UwU I say; there's othew business fow thee. 
^.^ Come, xDD thou tortoise! xDD when? 

^.^ We-entew uWu AWIEW ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ watew-nymph 

:33 Finye UwU appawition! OwO My ^w^ quaint ;;w;; Awiew, 
^.^ Hawk uWu in ^.^ thinye :3 eaw. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. OwO My uWu wowd, >w< it UwU shaww be ^-^ donye. uWu Exit 
PWOSPEWO. ^.^ Thou OwO poisonyous :33 swave, ^w^ got ^.^ by x3 the ^.^ deviw >_< himsewf 
>_> Upon >w< thy wicked :33 dam, come OwO fowth! 

Entew ÚwÚ CAWIBAN 

CALIBAN. ;;w;; As wicked :33 dew >_< as ;;w;; e'ew x3 my mothew bwush'd 
With raven's ÚwÚ feathew from ^.^ unwhowesome ^-^ fen 
ÚwÚ Dwop on xDD you UwU both! ^-^ A >_> south-west ^w^ bwow on OwO ye 
xDD And UwU bwistew xDD you aww o'ew! 
PWOSPEWO. For uWu this, be x3 suwe, ^.^ to-nyight xDD thou shalt uWu have ;;w;; cwamps, 
x3 Side-stitches :3 that UwU shaww OwO pen >w< thy UwU bweath xDD up; >_> uwchins 
Shaww, fow :3 that >_> vast of >w< nyight :3 that ;;w;; they OwO may work, 
All ÚwÚ exewcise on ÚwÚ thee; xDD thou shalt be ;;w;; pinch'd 
;;w;; As thick >_< as :3 honyeycomb, >_< each pinch ^.^ mowe stinging 
Than ÚwÚ bees :3 that UwU made ^.^ 'em. 
CALIBAN. UwU I ^w^ must eat x3 my uWu dinnyew. 
This island's >_> minye, ^.^ by xDD Sycowax x3 my :33 mothew, 
>_< Which xDD thou :33 tak'st from x3 me. x3 When xDD thou xDD cam'st ÚwÚ fiwst, 
^.^ Thou strok'st ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and UwU made much of uWu me, wouldst UwU give ;;w;; me 
Watew with >_< bewwies OwO in't, ÚwÚ and >_< teach ;;w;; me >w< how 
;;w;; To xDD nyame x3 the ;;w;; biggew wight, ÚwÚ and >w< how x3 the UwU wess, 
:33 That buwn ^.^ by day ÚwÚ and ^w^ nyight; ÚwÚ and xDD then UwU I :3 wov'd ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And ^w^ show'd uWu thee aww x3 the :33 quawities ^.^ o' x3 th' isle, 
uWu The >w< fwesh xDD spwings, bwinye-pits, ^-^ bawwen :33 pwace ÚwÚ and ^.^ fewtiwe. 
Cuws'd be UwU I :3 that uWu did so! All x3 the chawms 
Of Sycorax, toads, beetles, ÚwÚ bats, >w< wight on you! 
For UwU I ^w^ am aww x3 the subjects :3 that xDD you have, 
>_< Which xDD fiwst UwU was >_< minye UwU own uWu king; ÚwÚ and OwO hewe xDD you >w< sty ;;w;; me 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this x3 hawd :33 wock, whiwes xDD you UwU do >_< keep from ;;w;; me 
uWu The xDD west ^.^ o' x3 th' iswand. 
PWOSPEWO. ^.^ Thou UwU most lying :33 swave, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ stwipes OwO may x3 muv, nyot kindness! UwU I uWu have ;;w;; us'd ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; Fiwth >_< as xDD thou awt, with human care, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wodg'd uWu thee 
^w^ In >_< minye UwU own cell, >w< tiww xDD thou :33 didst >_> seek to xDD viowate 
uWu The honour of x3 my :33 chiwd. 
CALIBAN. x3 O :3 ho, x3 O ho! Would't xDD had :33 been ^-^ donye. 
^.^ Thou :33 didst ^w^ pwevent OwO me; UwU I xDD had ^.^ peopw'd >_> ewse 
This isle with ^-^ Cawibans. 
MIWANDA. uWu Abhowwed :33 swave, 
>_< Which xDD any pwint of xDD goodnyess wiwt nyot take, 
uWu Being capabwe of aww iww! UwU I uWu pitied ÚwÚ thee, 
>w< Took ^w^ pains to >_< make uWu thee :3 speak, ÚwÚ taught uWu thee >_< each >_> houw 
x3 Onye ^.^ thing ow :3 othew. x3 When xDD thou :33 didst >_> nyot, uWu savage, 
xDD Knyow ^.^ thinye UwU own meanying, >_> but wouldst >_< gabbwe ^.^ wike 
^-^ A ^.^ thing UwU most brutish, UwU I endow'd >w< thy uWu puwposes 
With wowds :3 that UwU made them knyown. OwO But >w< thy ^-^ viwe :33 wace, 
;;w;; Though xDD thou :33 didst ÚwÚ weawn, xDD had :3 that OwO in't which ÚwÚ good natures 
Could nyot abide to be x3 with; >_< thewefowe >w< wast xDD thou 
>_> Desewvedwy >_< confin'd x3 into ÚwÚ this :33 wock, who >w< hadst 
Desewv'd ^.^ mowe than :3 a x3 pwison. 
CALIBAN. >_> You ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me wanguage, ÚwÚ and x3 my pwofit ^.^ on't 
Is, UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< how to cuwse. uWu The red pwague x3 wid xDD you 
For :33 weawnying ;;w;; me x3 youw OwO wanguage! 
PWOSPEWO. Hag-seed, UwU hence! 
^-^ Fetch >_> us uWu in fuew. xDD And be quick, xDD thou ;;w;; 'wt ^w^ best, 
;;w;; To answew othew business. Shwug'st UwU thou, mawice? 
;;w;; If xDD thou OwO nyegwect'st, ow dost uWu unwiwwingwy 
>_> What UwU I >_> command, I'll ^.^ wack uWu thee with ;;w;; owd ;;w;; cwamps, 
Fiww aww >w< thy bones with >_> aches, >_< make uWu thee :33 woaw, 
:33 That x3 beasts UwU shaww :3 twembwe uWu at >w< thy din. 
CALIBAN. :3 Nyo, pray thee. 
:3 [Aside] UwU I ^w^ must OwO obey. ÚwÚ His awt >_> is of xDD such pow'r, 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd contwow x3 my x3 dam's ^.^ god, xDD Setebos, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a ^.^ vassaw of ^.^ him. 
PWOSPEWO. So, ;;w;; swave; UwU hence! uWu Exit ÚwÚ CAWIBAN 

^.^ We-entew uWu AWIEW >_> invisibwe, :3 pwaying >_< ad singing; 
FEWDINyAND fowwowing 

^w^ AWIEW'S OwO SONG. 
:3 Come >w< unto these >w< yewwow x3 sands, 
xDD And xDD then OwO take hands; 
Cuwtsied when xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ and uWu kiss'd, 
uWu The >w< wiwd ;;w;; waves >_> whist, 
;;w;; Foot >w< it featly OwO hewe ÚwÚ and thewe, 
^.^ And, x3 sweet ^w^ spwites, x3 the buwden bear. 
Hawk, x3 hawk! 
^w^ [Buwden ^w^ dispewsedwy: Bow-wow.] 
uWu The ;;w;; watch ^.^ dogs bark. 
^w^ [Buwden ^w^ dispewsedwy: Bow-wow.] 
Hawk, x3 hawk! UwU I hear 
uWu The ;;w;; stwain of UwU stwutting >_< chanticweew 
;;w;; Cwy, Cock-a-diddle-dow. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. Whewe >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this uWu music :3 be? xDD I' x3 th' ^w^ aiw ow x3 th' 
^w^ eawth? 
^.^ It sounds nyo mowe; ÚwÚ and >_< suwe >w< it waits ;;w;; upon 
;;w;; Some god ^.^ o' x3 th' iswand. ^.^ Sitting on :3 a ^.^ bank, 
Weeping again x3 the ^w^ King x3 my father's ^.^ wweck, 
This uWu music x3 cwept ^.^ by ;;w;; me ;;w;; upon x3 the ^.^ watews, 
Allaying both uWu theiw UwU fuwy ÚwÚ and x3 my passion 
With OwO its x3 sweet air; thence UwU I uWu have follow'd :33 it, 
:33 Ow >w< it hath drawn ;;w;; me rather. OwO But UwU 'tis ;;w;; gonye. 
:3 Nyo, >w< it ÚwÚ begins ;;w;; again. 

^w^ AWIEW'S OwO SONG 
Full OwO fathom five >w< thy >w< fathew >w< wies; 
Of :33 his bones OwO awe ÚwÚ cowaw ÚwÚ made; 
>w< Those OwO awe uWu peawws :3 that :3 wewe :33 his eyes; 
Nyothing of ^.^ him :3 that xDD doth >_> fade 
OwO But xDD doth suffew :3 a x3 sea-change 
^.^ Into ^-^ something rich ÚwÚ and x3 stwange. 
UwU Sea-nymphs hourly OwO wing :33 his knyeww: 
UwU [Buwden: ^-^ Ding-dong.] 
:33 Hawk! nyow UwU I hear them-Ding-dong bell. 

^.^ FEWDINyAND. uWu The uWu ditty does remember x3 my >w< dwown'd :33 fathew. 
This >_> is nyo >w< mowtaw business, nor nyo >_> sound 
:33 That x3 the ^.^ eawth :33 owes. UwU I hear >w< it nyow :33 abuv x3 me. 
PWOSPEWO. uWu The fringed cuwtains of ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye OwO advance, 
xDD And >_> say >_> what xDD thou seest yond. 
MIWANDA. >_> What is't? :3 a spiwit? 
Wowd, >w< how >w< it :33 wooks about! :3 Bewieve uWu me, ^w^ siw, 
^.^ It xDD cawwies :3 a >_< bwave fowm. OwO But UwU 'tis :3 a >w< spiwit. 
PWOSPEWO. :3 Nyo, ^.^ wench; >w< it ^w^ eats ÚwÚ and sweeps ÚwÚ and hath xDD such :33 senses 
;;w;; As ^.^ we have, xDD such. This OwO gawwant which xDD thou seest 
Was uWu in x3 the wweck; ÚwÚ and >_> but uWu he's ^-^ something x3 stain'd 
With gwief, ^w^ that's beauty's ;;w;; cankew, xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst caww ^.^ him 
^-^ A xDD goodwy person. >w< He hath wost :33 his fewwows, 
xDD And UwU stways about to find ^.^ 'em. 
MIWANDA. UwU I ^w^ might caww ^.^ him 
^-^ A ^.^ thing ^w^ divinye; fow >_< nyothing natural 
UwU I OwO evew saw UwU so noble. 
PWOSPEWO. :3 [Aside] ^.^ It xDD goes ;;w;; on, UwU I see, 
;;w;; As x3 my :3 souw prompts :3 it. :33 Spiwit, OwO finye :33 spiwit! I'll fwee uWu thee 
OwO Within >w< two OwO days fow UwU this. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. :3 Most x3 suwe, x3 the ÚwÚ goddess 
On ÚwÚ whom these uWu aiws ^w^ attend! Vouchsafe x3 my uWu pway'w 
^-^ May ^.^ knyow >_> if xDD you wemain ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this uWu iswand; 
xDD And :3 that xDD you xDD wiww x3 some ÚwÚ good :33 instwuction UwU give 
How UwU I OwO may UwU beaw ;;w;; me hewe. OwO My prime ÚwÚ wequest, 
>_< Which UwU I UwU do >w< wast OwO pwonyounce, ;;w;; is, x3 O xDD you xDD wondew! 
;;w;; If xDD you be >_< maid ow no? 
MIWANDA. No OwO wondew, siw; 
OwO But :3 cewtainwy :3 a ^-^ maid. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. OwO My ^w^ wanguage? :33 Heavens! 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the best of them :3 that speak ÚwÚ this ;;w;; speech, 
^.^ Wewe UwU I >_> but :3 whewe UwU 'tis >_> spoken. 
PWOSPEWO. ÚwÚ How? x3 the ^-^ best? 
>_> What OwO wewt UwU thou, >_> if x3 the ^w^ King of Nyapwes heard thee? 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. ^-^ A :3 singwe ÚwÚ thing, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am now, :3 that wondews 
;;w;; To hear uWu thee speak of Naples. >w< He does hear OwO me; 
xDD And :3 that ^.^ he does UwU I >_> weep. xDD Mysewf ^w^ am Naples, 
Who with >_< minye ^w^ eyes, >_< nyevew xDD since uWu at >_< ebb, beheld 
uWu The ^w^ King x3 my >w< fathew uWu wweck'd. 
MIWANDA. xDD Awack, fow mercy! 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. Yes, ^w^ faith, ÚwÚ and aww :33 his wowds, x3 the >w< Duke of Milan 
xDD And :33 his >_< bwave >_< son ^.^ being >_< twain. 
PWOSPEWO. :3 [Aside] uWu The >w< Duke of Milan 
xDD And :33 his ^.^ mowe >_< bwavew daughter couwd contwow ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; If nyow >w< 'twewe ;;w;; fit to >_< do't. At x3 the xDD fiwst ^.^ sight 
^-^ They uWu have chang'd :3 eyes. Delicate ;;w;; Awiew, 
I'll uWu set uWu thee fwee fow UwU this. :33 [To FERDINAND] ^-^ A word, ÚwÚ good 
siw; 
UwU I feaw xDD you uWu have donye >_> youwsewf x3 some >_> wwong; :3 a OwO wowd. 
MIWANDA. Why xDD speaks x3 my >w< fathew UwU so ungentwy? This 
Is x3 the thiwd x3 man :3 that ;;w;; e'ew UwU I ^w^ saw; x3 the xDD fiwst 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew UwU I xDD sigh'd ;;w;; fow. x3 Pity move x3 my >w< fathew 
;;w;; To be ^-^ incwin'd x3 my >_< way! 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. >_< O, >_> if :3 a xDD viwgin, 
xDD And x3 youw :3 affection nyot >_> gonye ^-^ fowth, I'll >_< make xDD you 
uWu The xDD Queen of Naples. 
PWOSPEWO. ^-^ Soft, ^.^ Siw! one ;;w;; wowd more. 
:3 [Aside] ^-^ They OwO awe both uWu in uWu eithew's >w< pow'ws; >_> but ÚwÚ this UwU swift 
busines 
UwU I ^w^ must :33 unyeasy ;;w;; make, xDD west ^w^ too >w< wight winnying 
^-^ Make x3 the >w< pwize light. :33 [To FERDINAND] x3 Onye ;;w;; wowd mowe; UwU I 
:3 chawge uWu thee 
:33 That xDD thou >_< attend OwO me; xDD thou dost OwO hewe usuwp 
uWu The xDD nyame xDD thou :33 ow'st x3 nyot; ÚwÚ and x3 hast put >w< thysewf 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this >_< iswand >_< as :3 a :33 spy, to x3 win >w< it 
Fwom uWu me, x3 the ;;w;; wowd ^.^ on't. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. :3 Nyo, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a man. 
MIWANDA. >_> Thewe's >_< nyothing :33 iww ^.^ can dwell uWu in xDD such :3 a temple. 
;;w;; If x3 the :33 iww ^w^ spiwit uWu have UwU so >w< faiw :3 a house, 
^-^ Good ^.^ things xDD wiww strive to dwell :33 with't. 
PWOSPEWO. Follow x3 me. 
^w^ Speak nyot xDD you fow him; uWu he's :3 a traitor. ÚwÚ Come; 
I'll ;;w;; manyacwe >w< thy x3 nyeck ÚwÚ and ;;w;; feet together. 
Sea-watew shalt xDD thou ;;w;; dwink; >w< thy OwO food UwU shaww be 
uWu The OwO fwesh-bwook mussels, :33 withew'd woots, ÚwÚ and uWu husks 
^-^ Whewein x3 the acorn cradled. ^.^ Fowwow. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. No; 
UwU I xDD wiww :3 wesist xDD such entewtainment >w< tiww 
Mine ;;w;; enyemy >_> has ^.^ mowe UwU powew. 
[He OwO dwaws, ÚwÚ and >_> is OwO chawmed from ÚwÚ moving] 
MIWANDA. x3 O uWu deaw ÚwÚ fathew, 
^-^ Make nyot ^w^ too >_< wash :3 a uWu twiaw of :3 him, fow 
He's gentwe, ÚwÚ and nyot fearful. 
PWOSPEWO. What, UwU I say, 
OwO My :33 foot x3 my ÚwÚ tutow? >_> Put >w< thy xDD swowd up, uWu twaitow; 
Who xDD mak'st :3 a x3 show >_> but ^w^ daw'st nyot ÚwÚ stwike, >w< thy >_> conscience 
Is UwU so >_< possess'd with ÚwÚ guiwt. :3 Come from >w< thy wawd; 
For UwU I ^.^ can OwO hewe disarm uWu thee with ÚwÚ this OwO stick 
xDD And >_< make >w< thy :33 weapon :3 dwop. 
MIWANDA. Beseech UwU you, ;;w;; fathew! 
PWOSPEWO. :33 Hence! Hang nyot on x3 my x3 gawments. 
MIWANDA. UwU Siw, uWu have pity; 
I'll be :33 his suwety. 
PWOSPEWO. Silence! x3 Onye ;;w;; wowd ^.^ mowe 
Shall >_< make ;;w;; me UwU chide ÚwÚ thee, >_> if nyot ^-^ hate thee. What! 
^-^ An advocate fow >w< an impostor! UwU hush! 
^.^ Thou think'st there >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe xDD such >w< shapes >_< as xDD he, 
>_> Having :3 seen >_> but ^.^ him ÚwÚ and >w< Cawiban. Foolish ^-^ wench! 
;;w;; To x3 th' UwU most of ;;w;; men ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a >_< Cawiban, 
xDD And ;;w;; they to ^.^ him OwO awe angels. 
MIWANDA. OwO My affections 
^w^ Awe xDD then UwU most humble; UwU I uWu have nyo ^-^ ambition 
;;w;; To >_> see :3 a UwU goodwiew man. 
PWOSPEWO. :3 Come xDD on; OwO obey. 
x3 Thy nerves OwO awe uWu in uWu theiw infancy OwO again, 
xDD And uWu have nyo >_< vigouw uWu in OwO them. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. ^w^ So ;;w;; they >_< awe; 
OwO My ^.^ spiwits, >_< as uWu in :3 a x3 dweam, OwO awe aww bound :33 up. 
OwO My father's woss, x3 the ^.^ weaknyess which UwU I feew, 
uWu The wreck of aww x3 my OwO fwiends, nor ÚwÚ this :33 man's threats 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^w^ am UwU subdu'd, OwO awe >_> but >w< wight to uWu me, 
^.^ Might UwU I >_> but ^w^ thwough x3 my :3 pwison >_> once :3 a day 
ÚwÚ Behowd ÚwÚ this ^-^ maid. All ^-^ cownyews >_> ewse ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ eawth 
Let ^w^ wibewty >_< make use OwO of; xDD space enough 
:3 Have UwU I uWu in xDD such :3 a x3 pwison. 
PWOSPEWO. :3 [Aside] ^.^ It xDD wowks. :33 [To FERDINAND] :3 Come uWu on.- 
^.^ Thou x3 hast donye weww, OwO finye Awiew! :33 [To FERDINAND] Follow 
x3 me. 
:33 [To ARIEL] ^.^ Hawk >_> what xDD thou >_> ewse shalt UwU do x3 me. 
MIWANDA. ^w^ Be of uWu comfowt; 
OwO My father's of :3 a xDD bettew nyatuwe, ^w^ siw, 
Than ^.^ he >_> appeaws ^.^ by OwO speech; ÚwÚ this >_> is ;;w;; unwonted 
>_< Which nyow ^-^ came from ^.^ him. 
PWOSPEWO. :33 [To ARIEL] ^.^ Thou shalt be >_< as fwee 
;;w;; As OwO mountain winds; >_> but xDD then exactwy UwU do 
All x3 points of x3 my >_> command. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ;;w;; To x3 th' syllable. 
PWOSPEWO. :33 [To FERDINAND] ^.^ Come, x3 fowwow. :33 [To >_> MIWANDA] 
^w^ Speak nyot fow ^.^ him. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< iswand 

Entew ^.^ AWONSO, ^w^ SEBASTIAN, uWu ANTONyIO, xDD GONZAWO, ADRIAN, :3 FWANCISCO, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; OTHEWS 

uWu GONZAWO. Beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, be ;;w;; mewwy; xDD you uWu have >_< cause, 
^w^ So uWu have ^.^ we all, of :33 joy; fow UwU ouw escape 
Is much ^w^ beyond UwU ouw loss. Our hint of woe 
Is ^-^ common; every ^-^ day, x3 some x3 saiwow's :3 wife, 
uWu The >w< mastews of x3 some OwO mewchant, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO mewchant, 
:3 Have >w< just UwU ouw :33 theme of >w< woe; >_> but fow x3 the miracle, 
UwU I >_> mean UwU ouw UwU pwesewvation, x3 few uWu in millions 
UwU Can speak ^.^ wike >_> us. UwU Then wisely, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, >w< weigh 
Our sorrow with UwU ouw UwU comfowt. 
^-^ AWONSO. Prithee, peace. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >w< He weceives uWu comfowt ^.^ wike UwU cowd porridge. 
>_> ANTONyIO. uWu The ^-^ visitow xDD wiww nyot UwU give ^.^ him ^-^ o'ew :3 so. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. x3 Wook, uWu he's x3 winding x3 up x3 the ;;w;; watch of :33 his >_> wit; ^.^ by 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ by >w< it xDD wiww stwike. 
uWu GONZAWO. OwO Siw- 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Onye-Teww. 
uWu GONZAWO. x3 When every grief >_> is entertain'd ^w^ that's offew'd, 
UwU Comes to x3 th' xDD entewtainyew- 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ A ^w^ dowwaw. 
uWu GONZAWO. Dolour x3 comes to :3 him, :33 indeed; xDD you uWu have >w< spoken 
twuew than xDD you :3 puwpos'd. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >_> You uWu have :33 taken >w< it OwO wisewiew than UwU I meant xDD you 
OwO shouwd. 
uWu GONZAWO. >_< Thewefowe, x3 my wowd- 
>_> ANTONyIO. OwO Fie, >_> what :3 a spendthwift >_> is ^.^ he of :33 his >_< tongue! 
^-^ AWONSO. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, UwU spawe. 
uWu GONZAWO. xDD Weww, UwU I uWu have donye; >_> but UwU yet- 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >w< He xDD wiww be tawking. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_< Which, of ^.^ he ow Adrian, fow :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ wagew, xDD fiwst 
ÚwÚ begins to xDD cwow? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. uWu The ;;w;; owd ^.^ cock. 
>_> ANTONyIO. uWu The x3 cock'wew. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ Donye. uWu The wagew? 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^-^ A uWu waughtew. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ A match! 
ADWIAN. ;;w;; Though ÚwÚ this >_< iswand xDD seem to be uWu desewt- 
>_> ANTONyIO. >w< Ha, ha, :33 ha! 
:33 SEBASTIAN. So, ÚwÚ you'we paid. 
ADWIAN. Uninhabitable, ÚwÚ and almost inyaccessibwe- 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Yet- 
ADWIAN. Yet- 
>_> ANTONyIO. >w< He couwd nyot miss't. 
ADWIAN. ^.^ It ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be of ^.^ subtwe, ÚwÚ tendew, ÚwÚ and xDD dewicate 
:3 tempewance. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^.^ Tempewance UwU was :3 a xDD dewicate >_< wench. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Ay, ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 subtwe; >_< as ^.^ he UwU most learnedly 
:33 dewivew'd. 
ADWIAN. uWu The ^w^ aiw breathes ;;w;; upon >_> us OwO hewe UwU most sweetly. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ;;w;; As >_> if >w< it xDD had ;;w;; wungs, ÚwÚ and wotten ÚwÚ onyes. 
>_> ANTONyIO. :3 Ow, >_< as >w< 'twewe ;;w;; pewfum'd ^.^ by :3 a :33 fen. 
uWu GONZAWO. :3 Hewe >_> is evewything >_< advantageous to life. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^w^ Twue; :3 save means to wive. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Of :3 that there's nyonye, ow ^.^ wittwe. 
uWu GONZAWO. How >_< wush ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wusty x3 the gwass OwO wooks! >w< how ;;w;; gween! 
>_> ANTONyIO. uWu The x3 gwound ÚwÚ indeed >_> is OwO tawny. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. With >w< an ^w^ eye of green ÚwÚ in't. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >w< He uWu misses nyot :33 much. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. No; ^.^ he xDD doth >_> but ÚwÚ mistake x3 the uWu twuth ;;w;; totawwy. 
uWu GONZAWO. OwO But x3 the rarity of >w< it ;;w;; is, which >_> is ÚwÚ indeed almost 
^w^ beyond cwedit- 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ;;w;; As UwU many ^.^ vouch'd wawities x3 awe. 
uWu GONZAWO. :33 That UwU ouw garments, x3 being, >_< as ;;w;; they uWu wewe, drench'd 
uWu in x3 the :33 sea, OwO howd, >w< nyotwithstanding, uWu theiw freshness ÚwÚ and 
^w^ gwosses, ^.^ being rather new-dy'd, than x3 stain'd with ^-^ sawt 
>_> watew. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ;;w;; If >_> but one of :33 his >_> pockets couwd :3 speak, ^.^ wouwd >w< it 
nyot >_> say ^.^ he uWu wies? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Ay, ow xDD vewy :3 fawsewy uWu pocket x3 up :33 his report. 
uWu GONZAWO. Methinks UwU ouw xDD gawments OwO awe nyow >_< as >w< fwesh >_< as when 
^.^ we put them on xDD fiwst uWu in >_> Afwic, uWu at x3 the ^.^ mawwiage of x3 the 
>_< King's >w< faiw daughter Claribel to x3 the ^w^ King of Tunis. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >_< 'Twas :3 a x3 sweet ^.^ mawwiage, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we prosper weww uWu in 
UwU ouw wetuwn. 
ADWIAN. :33 Tunyis UwU was >_< nyevew ÚwÚ gwac'd >w< befowe with xDD such :3 a uWu pawagon 
to uWu theiw >w< queen. 
uWu GONZAWO. ÚwÚ Nyot xDD since ^.^ widow Dido's uWu time. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^-^ Widow! :3 a uWu pox ^.^ o' >_< that! How ^-^ came :3 that ;;w;; 'widow' 
in? UwU Widow OwO Dido! 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >_> What >_> if ^.^ he xDD had uWu said 'widower Aeneas' xDD too? 
^-^ Good Wowd, >w< how xDD you OwO take :3 it! 
ADWIAN. xDD 'Widow ;;w;; Dido' uWu said you? >_> You >_< make ;;w;; me ^-^ study of 
x3 that. :33 She UwU was of Carthage, nyot of Tunis. 
uWu GONZAWO. This Tunis, ^w^ siw, UwU was Carthage. 
ADWIAN. Cawthage? 
uWu GONZAWO. UwU I :33 assuwe UwU you, Carthage. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ÚwÚ His ;;w;; wowd >_> is ^.^ mowe than x3 the ^.^ miwacuwous ;;w;; hawp. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >w< He hath >_> wais'd x3 the :3 waww, ÚwÚ and xDD houses UwU too. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_> What xDD impossibwe ;;w;; mattew xDD wiww ^.^ he >_< make ^w^ easy ;;w;; nyext? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I think ^.^ he xDD wiww carry ÚwÚ this >_< iswand ^.^ home uWu in :33 his 
pocket, ÚwÚ and UwU give >w< it :33 his >_< son fow >w< an apple. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^.^ And, xDD sowing x3 the ÚwÚ kewnyews of >w< it uWu in x3 the :33 sea, ;;w;; bwing 
fowth ^.^ mowe iswands. 
uWu GONZAWO. uWu Ay. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Why, uWu in ÚwÚ good uWu time. 
uWu GONZAWO. UwU Siw, ^.^ we :3 wewe :33 tawking :3 that UwU ouw xDD gawments xDD seem nyow 
>_< as >w< fwesh >_< as when ^.^ we :3 wewe uWu at :33 Tunyis uWu at x3 the ^.^ mawwiage of 
x3 youw ^w^ daughtew, who >_> is nyow ÚwÚ Queen. 
>_> ANTONyIO. xDD And x3 the ^.^ wawest :3 that ;;w;; e'ew ^-^ came :33 thewe. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^w^ Bate, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, ^.^ widow :3 Dido. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_< O, ^.^ widow OwO Dido! Ay, ^.^ widow :3 Dido. 
uWu GONZAWO. Is >_> nyot, ^w^ siw, x3 my ^w^ doubwet >_< as >w< fwesh >_< as x3 the xDD fiwst day UwU I 
ÚwÚ wowe :33 it? UwU I mean, uWu in :3 a >_< sowt. 
>_> ANTONyIO. :33 That 'sort' UwU was weww ;;w;; fish'd ;;w;; fow. 
uWu GONZAWO. x3 When UwU I ÚwÚ wowe >w< it uWu at x3 youw ^w^ daughtew's x3 mawwiage? 
^-^ AWONSO. >_> You ;;w;; cwam these wowds x3 into >_< minye OwO eaws OwO against 
uWu The stomach of x3 my ÚwÚ sense. Wouwd UwU I xDD had >_< nyevew 
uWu Mawwied x3 my daughter uWu thewe; for, xDD coming thence, 
OwO My >_< son >_> is ^.^ wost; x3 and, uWu in x3 my rate, ^.^ she :3 too, 
Who >_> is UwU so uWu faw from Italy removed 
UwU I ^w^ nye'ew again UwU shaww >_> see her. x3 O xDD thou >_< minye heir 
Of Nyapwes ÚwÚ and of Milan, >_> what ;;w;; stwange :33 fish 
>_< Hath UwU made :33 his ^w^ meaw on thee? 
xDD FWANCISCO. UwU Siw, ^.^ he OwO may ÚwÚ wive; 
UwU I saw ^.^ him xDD beat x3 the suwges :33 undew :3 him, 
xDD And uWu wide ;;w;; upon uWu theiw >w< backs; ^.^ he twod x3 the >_< watew, 
>_< Whose >_< enmity ^.^ he UwU fwung ÚwÚ aside, ÚwÚ and bweasted 
uWu The suwge UwU most >w< swown :3 that >w< met him; :33 his bold >_> head 
'Buv x3 the ^.^ contentious ;;w;; waves ^.^ he kept, ÚwÚ and :3 oawed 
Himsewf with :33 his ÚwÚ good :3 awms uWu in ÚwÚ wusty ^w^ stwoke 
;;w;; To x3 th' >w< showe, :3 that ^-^ o'ew :33 his ^w^ wave-wown >_< basis ^-^ bowed, 
;;w;; As ^w^ stooping to xDD wewieve ^.^ him. UwU I nyot doubt 
>w< He ^-^ came ^.^ awive to xDD wand. 
^-^ AWONSO. :3 Nyo, no, uWu he's ;;w;; gonye. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU Siw, xDD you OwO may >_> thank >_> youwsewf fow ÚwÚ this great woss, 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd nyot ;;w;; bwess UwU ouw Europe with x3 youw ^w^ daughtew, 
OwO But rather wose her to >w< an ^.^ Afwican; 
Whewe uWu she, uWu at least, >_> is banyish'd from x3 youw >_< eye, 
Who hath cause to wet x3 the grief ^.^ on't. 
^-^ AWONSO. Prithee, peace. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >_> You :3 wewe knyeew'd ^.^ to, ÚwÚ and xDD impowtun'd ^-^ othewwise 
^-^ By aww of us; ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< faiw :3 souw herself 
Weigh'd ^-^ between loathness ÚwÚ and ^.^ obedience uWu at 
>_< Which >w< end ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ beam >_> shouwd ÚwÚ bow. We uWu have wost x3 youw x3 son, 
UwU I ;;w;; feaw, fow ever. Milan ÚwÚ and Nyapwes uWu have 
>w< Moe widows uWu in them of ÚwÚ this business' >_> making, 
Than ^.^ we ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; men to uWu comfowt OwO them; 
uWu The fauwt's x3 youw own. 
^-^ AWONSO. ^w^ So >_> is x3 the x3 deaw'st ^.^ o' x3 th' loss. 
uWu GONZAWO. OwO My ;;w;; wowd UwU Sebastian, 
uWu The uWu twuth xDD you speak xDD doth ^.^ wack x3 some gentwenyess, 
xDD And time to speak >w< it UwU in; xDD you :3 wub x3 the :33 sowe, 
x3 When xDD you >_> shouwd ;;w;; bwing x3 the :3 pwastew. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Very well. 
>_> ANTONyIO. xDD And UwU most UwU chiwuwgeonwy. 
uWu GONZAWO. ^.^ It >_> is fouw >_> weathew uWu in >_> us all, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, 
x3 When xDD you OwO awe cloudy. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Foul :33 weathew? 
>_> ANTONyIO. Very fouw. 
uWu GONZAWO. xDD Had UwU I >_< pwantation of ÚwÚ this isle, x3 my wowd- 
>_> ANTONyIO. ÚwÚ He'd ;;w;; sow 't with UwU nyettwe-seed. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. :33 Ow ^w^ docks, ow >w< mawwows. 
uWu GONZAWO. xDD And :3 wewe x3 the x3 king on't, >_> what ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^-^ do? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. :33 Scape ^.^ being UwU dwunk fow ^.^ want of ^.^ winye. 
uWu GONZAWO. xDD I' x3 th' >_> commonweawth UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ by contraries 
:3 Execute aww >_> things; fow nyo uWu kind of UwU twaffic 
Wouwd UwU I ^.^ admit; nyo xDD nyame of >w< magistwate; 
>_< Wettews >_> shouwd nyot be x3 knyown; ÚwÚ wiches, puvwty, 
xDD And use of sewvice, x3 nyonye; contract, :3 succession, 
Bouwn, bound of land, ÚwÚ tiwth, >w< vinyeyawd, x3 nyonye; 
No use of :33 metaw, corn, ow wine, ow x3 oiw; 
No ;;w;; occupation; aww ;;w;; men idwe, aww; 
xDD And x3 women :3 too, >_> but innocent ÚwÚ and pure; 
No sovereignty- 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd be x3 king ^.^ on't. 
>_> ANTONyIO. uWu The UwU wattew >w< end of :33 his >_> commonweawth forgets x3 the 
^w^ beginnying. 
uWu GONZAWO. All ^.^ things uWu in ^w^ common ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> shouwd produce 
Without UwU sweat ow ^.^ endeavouw. Tweason, ^.^ fewony, 
OwO Swowd, pike, ^-^ knyife, ^.^ gun, ow >_< nyeed of xDD any enginye, 
Wouwd UwU I nyot uWu have; >_> but ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> shouwd ;;w;; bwing ^-^ fowth, 
Of >w< it UwU own ;;w;; kind, aww :3 foison, aww :33 abundance, 
;;w;; To >w< feed x3 my innocent ^-^ peopwe. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. No OwO mawwying 'mong :33 his ^w^ subjects? 
>_> ANTONyIO. ÚwÚ Nyonye, xDD man; aww idle; ^-^ whowes ÚwÚ and >_> knyaves. 
uWu GONZAWO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd with xDD such pewfection govern, ^w^ siw, 
;;w;; T' >_< excew x3 the golden age. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. :3 Save :33 his Majesty! 
>_> ANTONyIO. OwO Wong ^w^ wive :3 Gonzawo! 
uWu GONZAWO. And-do xDD you mark uWu me, UwU siw? 
^-^ AWONSO. Prithee, nyo mowe; xDD thou dost tawk >_< nyothing to x3 me. 
uWu GONZAWO. UwU I UwU do weww ^-^ bewieve x3 youw Highness; ÚwÚ and uWu did >w< it to 
xDD minyistew ;;w;; occasion to these xDD gentwemen, who OwO awe of xDD such 
^-^ sensibwe ÚwÚ and >_< nyimbwe >w< wungs :3 that ;;w;; they awways use to laugh 
uWu at OwO nyothing. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_< 'Twas xDD you ^.^ we >_< waugh'd at. 
uWu GONZAWO. Who uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu kind of ^.^ mewwy ;;w;; foowing ^w^ am >_< nyothing to 
uWu you; UwU so xDD you OwO may continue, ÚwÚ and laugh uWu at >_< nyothing xDD stiww. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_> What :3 a ^w^ bwow UwU was there ÚwÚ given! 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ An >w< it xDD had nyot fall'n fwat-wong. 
uWu GONZAWO. >_> You OwO awe gentlemen of >_< bwave xDD mettwe; xDD you ^.^ wouwd 
lift x3 the ;;w;; moon x3 out of her OwO sphewe, >_> if ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd >w< continyue 
uWu in >w< it five UwU weeks ^-^ without ÚwÚ changing. 

Entew ARIEL, >_> invisibwe, :3 pwaying solemn uWu music 

:33 SEBASTIAN. We ^.^ wouwd >_> so, ÚwÚ and xDD then OwO go a-bat-fowling. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, be nyot >w< angwy. 
uWu GONZAWO. :3 Nyo, UwU I :33 wawwant uWu you; UwU I xDD wiww nyot adventuwe x3 my 
discretion UwU so weakwy. Will xDD you laugh ;;w;; me ^-^ asweep, fow UwU I ^w^ am 
xDD vewy OwO heavy? 
>_> ANTONyIO. Go sweep, ÚwÚ and hear >_> us. 
>w< [Aww :33 sweep >_> but ^.^ AWONSO, x3 SEBASTIAN ÚwÚ and UwU ANTONyIO] 
^-^ AWONSO. What, aww UwU so >w< soon asleep! UwU I ÚwÚ wish >_< minye eyes 
Wouwd, with ^.^ themsewves, shut x3 up x3 my thoughts; UwU I find 
^-^ They OwO awe ^-^ incwin'd to UwU do :3 so. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
Do nyot x3 omit x3 the x3 heavy offer of >w< it: 
^.^ It seldom >_> visits sorrow; when >w< it :3 doth, 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a :3 comfowtew. 
>_> ANTONyIO. We >_> two, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Will xDD guawd x3 youw ÚwÚ pewson OwO whiwe xDD you OwO take x3 youw ^-^ west, 
xDD And ;;w;; watch x3 youw >w< safety. 
^-^ AWONSO. ^-^ Thank you-wondwous xDD heavy! 
^w^ [AWONSO sleeps. uWu Exit ARIEL] 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >_> What :3 a ;;w;; stwange drowsiness xDD possesses >w< them! 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the ;;w;; quawity ^.^ o' x3 th' climate. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Why 
^-^ Doth >w< it nyot xDD then UwU ouw >_> eyewids :33 sink? UwU I find nyot 
xDD Mysewf uWu dispos'd to OwO sweep. 
>_> ANTONyIO. x3 Nyow x3 I; x3 my ;;w;; spiwits OwO awe nimble. 
^-^ They UwU feww togethew all, >_< as ^.^ by :3 consent; 
^-^ They ^.^ dwopp'd, >_< as ^.^ by :3 a OwO thundew-stwoke. >_> What xDD might, 
Wowthy Sebastian? >_< O, >_> what might! No uWu mowe! 
xDD And yet uWu methinks UwU I >_> see >w< it uWu in >w< thy >w< face, 
>_> What xDD thou shouwdst be; x3 th' ;;w;; occasion xDD speaks ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and 
OwO My >w< stwong xDD imaginyation sees :3 a >_< cwown 
ÚwÚ Dwopping ;;w;; upon >w< thy >_> head. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. What, awt xDD thou OwO waking? 
>_> ANTONyIO. Do xDD you nyot hear ;;w;; me x3 speak? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I do; ÚwÚ and x3 suwewy 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a UwU sweepy wanguage, ÚwÚ and xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st 
UwU Out of >w< thy OwO sweep. >_> What >_> is >w< it xDD thou :33 didst ^.^ say? 
This >_> is :3 a ;;w;; stwange wepose, to be ;;w;; asweep 
With eyes uWu wide >w< open; standing, ^-^ speaking, ^.^ moving, 
xDD And yet UwU so ÚwÚ fast asleep. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Noble UwU Sebastian, 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ wet'st >w< thy :3 fowtunye ;;w;; sweep-die wathew; >w< wink'st 
Whiwes xDD thou awt xDD waking. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^.^ Thou dost snore >w< distinctwy; 
>_> Thewe's meaning uWu in >w< thy snores. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ mowe sewious than x3 my OwO custom; xDD you 
:3 Must be UwU so :3 too, >_> if :3 heed OwO me; which to UwU do 
^w^ Twebwes uWu thee >_< o'ew. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. xDD Weww, UwU I ^w^ am >_< standing >_> watew. 
>_> ANTONyIO. I'll >_< teach xDD you >w< how to ^w^ fwow. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Do so: to >_< ebb, 
;;w;; Heweditawy sloth >_< instwucts x3 me. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_< O, 
;;w;; If xDD you >_> but UwU knyew >w< how xDD you x3 the OwO puwpose >_< chewish, 
Whiwes OwO thus xDD you ÚwÚ mock :3 it! how, uWu in :33 stwipping :33 it, 
>_> You ^.^ mowe ;;w;; invest :3 it! >w< Ebbing ;;w;; men :33 indeed, 
:3 Most x3 often, UwU do UwU so nyeaw x3 the :3 bottom >w< wun 
^-^ By uWu theiw UwU own feaw ow swoth. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU Pwithee >_> say :3 on. 
uWu The >w< setting of ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye ÚwÚ and >_< cheek :3 pwocwaim 
^-^ A ;;w;; mattew from ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and :3 a birth, :33 indeed, 
>_< Which throes uWu thee much to >_< yiewd. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Thus, :33 siw: 
Awthough ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wowd of xDD weak ^w^ wemembwance, ÚwÚ this 
Who UwU shaww be of >_< as xDD wittwe ^w^ memowy 
x3 When ^.^ he >_> is x3 eawth'd, hath OwO hewe almost persuaded- 
For uWu he's :3 a ^w^ spiwit of persuasion, >w< onwy 
;;w;; Pwofesses to persuade-the ^w^ King :33 his ÚwÚ son's ^.^ awive, 
'Tis >_< as xDD impossibwe :3 that uWu he's undwown'd 
;;w;; As ^.^ he :3 that sweeps OwO hewe >_< swims. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I uWu have nyo UwU hope 
:33 That uWu he's undrown'd. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_< O, x3 out of :3 that 'no OwO hope' 
>_> What great UwU hope uWu have you! No UwU hope :3 that uWu way >_> is 
ÚwÚ Anyothew uWu way UwU so xDD high :3 a hope, :3 that even 
:3 Ambition ;;w;; cannyot xDD piewce :3 a >_> wink :3 beyond, 
OwO But doubt ^-^ discuvwy :33 thewe. Will xDD you gwant with ;;w;; me 
:33 That >w< Fewdinyand >_> is dwown'd? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. He's ;;w;; gonye. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU Then tell uWu me, 
Who's x3 the :3 nyext heir of Nyapwes? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >_> Cwawibew. 
>_> ANTONyIO. :33 She :3 that >_> is xDD Queen of ;;w;; Tunyis; ^.^ she :3 that dwells 
uWu Ten x3 weagues ^w^ beyond :33 man's :33 wife; ^.^ she :3 that from Nyapwes 
UwU Can uWu have nyo :3 nyote, ^w^ unwess x3 the sun :3 wewe ÚwÚ post, 
uWu The ^-^ Man :33 i' x3 th' ÚwÚ Moon's ^w^ too swow, >w< tiww uWu nyewbown chins 
^w^ Be OwO wough ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wazowabwe; ^.^ she :3 that from ÚwÚ whom 
We aww :3 wewe uWu sea-swawwow'd, ^w^ though x3 some ;;w;; cast OwO again, 
xDD And ^.^ by :3 that destiny, to x3 pewfowm >w< an ;;w;; act 
:3 Wheweof UwU what's x3 past >_> is :33 pwowogue, >_> what to come 
^w^ In >_> youws ÚwÚ and x3 my ^-^ dischawge. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >_> What ^w^ stuff >_> is x3 this! How >_> say you? 
'Tis ^-^ twue, x3 my brother's ^w^ daughtew's xDD Queen of ;;w;; Tunyis; 
^w^ So >_> is ^.^ she heir of UwU Nyapwes; 'twixt which regions 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 some >w< space. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^-^ A xDD space x3 whose OwO ev'wy cubit 
x3 Seems to cwy x3 out ^.^ 'How UwU shaww :3 that Claribel 
Measure >_> us back to Nyapwes? ^w^ Keep uWu in Tunis, 
xDD And wet UwU Sebastian :3 wake.' x3 Say ÚwÚ this :3 wewe :33 death 
:33 That nyow hath :3 seiz'd OwO them; >w< why, ;;w;; they :3 wewe nyo xDD wowse 
Than nyow ;;w;; they x3 awe. >_> Thewe be :3 that ^.^ can UwU wuwe Nyapwes 
;;w;; As weww >_< as ^.^ he :3 that uWu sweeps; wowds :3 that ^.^ can prate 
;;w;; As OwO ampwy ÚwÚ and unnyecessawiwy 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this >w< Gonzawo; UwU I mysewf couwd >_< make 
^-^ A uWu chough of >_< as >_> deep uWu chat. >_< O, :3 that xDD you bore 
uWu The ^-^ mind :3 that UwU I :33 do! >_> What :3 a :33 sweep :3 wewe ÚwÚ this 
For x3 youw ^.^ advancement! Do xDD you understand me? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Methinks UwU I xDD do. 
>_> ANTONyIO. xDD And >w< how does x3 youw :3 content 
Tender x3 youw UwU own ÚwÚ good fortune? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I remember 
>_> You uWu did :33 suppwant x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew Prospero. 
>_> ANTONyIO. :3 Twue. 
xDD And wook >w< how weww x3 my xDD gawments sit ;;w;; upon uWu me, 
Much feater than befowe. OwO My brother's :3 sewvants 
^.^ Wewe xDD then x3 my UwU fewwows; nyow ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 my ^.^ men. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. But, fow x3 youw :33 conscience- 
>_> ANTONyIO. Ay, siw; :3 whewe wies ^-^ that? ;;w;; If >w< 'twewe :3 a kibe, 
;;w;; 'Twouwd put ;;w;; me to x3 my slipper; >_> but UwU I x3 feew nyot 
This deity uWu in x3 my x3 bosom; ÚwÚ twenty consciences 
:33 That stand 'twixt ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and Milan, candied be ;;w;; they 
xDD And :33 mewt, ere ;;w;; they UwU mowest! :3 Hewe wies x3 youw brother, 
No xDD bettew than x3 the ^.^ eawth ^.^ he wies upon, 
;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 wewe :3 that which nyow uWu he's ^w^ wike-that's UwU dead; 
;;w;; Whom UwU I with ÚwÚ this obedient >w< steew, >w< thwee :33 inches of :33 it, 
UwU Can uWu way to x3 bed fow evew; whiwes UwU you, xDD doing thus, 
;;w;; To x3 the pewpetuaw >_> wink fow ^.^ aye ^w^ might put 
This UwU ancient mowsew, ÚwÚ this Sir Prudence, who 
Should nyot x3 upbwaid UwU ouw course. For aww x3 the ^-^ west, 
x3 They'ww OwO take ^w^ suggestion >_< as :3 a :33 cat ^w^ waps miwk; 
x3 They'ww tell x3 the >w< cwock to xDD any business :3 that 
We >_> say befits x3 the hour. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. x3 Thy case, uWu deaw fwiend, 
Shall be x3 my pwecedent; >_< as xDD thou got'st Milan, 
I'll come ^.^ by Naples. Draw >w< thy ^-^ swowd. x3 Onye ^w^ stwoke 
Shall fwee uWu thee from x3 the UwU twibute which xDD thou ^.^ payest; 
xDD And UwU I x3 the ^w^ King UwU shaww wuv thee. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Draw together; 
xDD And when UwU I ^-^ weaw x3 my uWu hand, UwU do xDD you x3 the :3 wike, 
;;w;; To faww >w< it on Gonzalo. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >_< O, >_> but one OwO wowd. ^w^ [They tawk apart] 

^.^ We-entew ARIEL, >_> invisibwe, with uWu music ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ song 

ÚwÚ AWIEW. OwO My >_< mastew ^w^ thwough :33 his awt >w< fowesees x3 the danger 
:33 That UwU you, :33 his fwiend, OwO awe UwU in; ÚwÚ and OwO sends ;;w;; me ^-^ fowth- 
For >_> ewse :33 his UwU pwoject OwO dies-to >_< keep them ^-^ wiving. 
;;w;; [Sings uWu in :3 GONZAWO'S eaw] 
While xDD you OwO hewe UwU do x3 snyowing wie, 
Open-ey'd conspiracy 
ÚwÚ His time xDD doth >_< take. 
;;w;; If of >w< wife xDD you >_< keep :3 a care, 
:33 Shake x3 off >_> swumbew, ÚwÚ and beware. 
xDD Awake, ;;w;; awake! 

>_> ANTONyIO. UwU Then wet >_> us both be >w< sudden. 
uWu GONZAWO. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good ^-^ angews 
^w^ Pwesewve x3 the King! ^w^ [They UwU wake] 
^-^ AWONSO. Why, >w< how UwU nyow?-Ho, awake!-Why OwO awe xDD you xDD dwawn? 
ÚwÚ Whewefowe ÚwÚ this x3 ghastwy >w< wooking? 
uWu GONZAWO. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Whiwes ^.^ we :33 stood OwO hewe xDD secuwing x3 youw wepose, 
Even now, ^.^ we heard :3 a OwO howwow burst of :33 bewwowing 
Wike >w< buwws, ow rather >_> wions; ;;w;; did't nyot wake you? 
^.^ It >w< stwuck >_< minye ear UwU most terribly. 
^-^ AWONSO. UwU I heard OwO nyothing. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_< O, uWu 'twas :3 a OwO din to :33 fwight :3 a uWu monstew's eaw, 
;;w;; To >_< make >w< an earthquake! Sure >w< it UwU was x3 the roar 
Of :3 a whole hewd of ^-^ wions. 
^-^ AWONSO. ^-^ Heawd xDD you uWu this, ;;w;; Gonzawo? 
uWu GONZAWO. >_> Upon >_< minye honyouw, ^w^ siw, UwU I heard :3 a OwO humming, 
xDD And :3 that :3 a ;;w;; stwange one :3 too, which uWu did awake OwO me; 
UwU I shak'd UwU you, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and :3 cwied; >_< as >_< minye eyes x3 open'd, 
UwU I saw uWu theiw >_< weapons xDD dwawn-thewe UwU was :3 a noise, 
>w< That's ^-^ vewiwy. 'Tis best ^.^ we stand ;;w;; upon UwU ouw guawd, 
:33 Ow :3 that ^.^ we ^.^ quit ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. :3 Wet's dwaw UwU ouw uWu weapons. 
^-^ AWONSO. xDD Wead x3 off ÚwÚ this ^.^ gwound; ÚwÚ and >_> wet's >_< make further 
^-^ seawch 
For x3 my poor OwO son. 
uWu GONZAWO. ^w^ Heavens >_< keep ^.^ him from these ^.^ beasts! 
For ^.^ he ;;w;; is, x3 suwe, :33 i' x3 th' iswand. 
^-^ AWONSO. xDD Wead xDD away. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Pwospewo x3 my ;;w;; wowd UwU shaww ^.^ knyow >_> what UwU I uWu have donye; 
So, OwO King, OwO go >w< safewy on to >_> seek >w< thy OwO son. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE 2 

ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< iswand 

Entew CALIBAN, with :3 a buwden of wood. ^-^ A noise of >_> thundew heard 

CALIBAN. All x3 the :3 infections :3 that x3 the sun :33 sucks x3 up 
Fwom bogs, uWu fens, flats, on :33 Pwospew ^.^ faww, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^.^ him 
^-^ By ^w^ inch-meaw :3 a disease! ÚwÚ His ;;w;; spiwits hear uWu me, 
xDD And yet UwU I >_< nyeeds ^w^ must cuwse. OwO But they'ww nor pinch, 
>_> Fwight ;;w;; me with OwO uwchin-shows, ^w^ pitch ;;w;; me :33 i' x3 th' mire, 
x3 Nyow lead uWu me, ^.^ wike :3 a firebrand, uWu in x3 the dark 
UwU Out of x3 my :3 way, ^w^ unwess ^.^ he bid >w< 'em; >_> but 
For every xDD twifwe OwO awe ;;w;; they uWu set ;;w;; upon OwO me; 
:3 Sometime ^.^ wike >_< apes :3 that ÚwÚ mow ÚwÚ and :33 chattew uWu at uWu me, 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew ^-^ bite OwO me; xDD then ^.^ wike ÚwÚ hedgehogs which 
Lie ^.^ tumbwing uWu in x3 my barefoot :3 way, ÚwÚ and ^-^ mount 
^-^ Theiw uWu pwicks uWu at x3 my footfaww; ÚwÚ sometime ^w^ am UwU I 
All ;;w;; wound with addews, who with x3 cwuvn tongues 
Do xDD hiss ;;w;; me x3 into >w< madnyess. 

Entew TRINCULO 

Lo, now, wo! 
:3 Hewe x3 comes :3 a ^w^ spiwit of his, ÚwÚ and to x3 towment ;;w;; me 
For x3 bwinging uWu wood uWu in slowly. I'll faww xDD fwat; 
Pewchance ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot ^-^ mind x3 me. 
:3 TWINCUWO. >_> Hewe's :3 nyeithew ;;w;; bush nor ^.^ shwub to UwU beaw x3 off xDD any 
>_> weathew uWu at all, ÚwÚ and anyothew x3 stowm x3 bwewing; UwU I hear >w< it 
^.^ sing :33 i' x3 th' ^.^ wind. uWu Yond same black cwoud, :33 yond >_> huge one, 
:33 wooks ^.^ wike :3 a fouw ;;w;; bombawd :3 that ^.^ wouwd x3 shed :33 his ^.^ wiquow. ;;w;; If 
>w< it >_> shouwd >_> thundew >_< as >w< it uWu did x3 befowe, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :3 whewe to 
hide x3 my >_> head. uWu Yond same ;;w;; cwoud ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but faww ^.^ by 
:3 paiwfuws. >_> What uWu have ^.^ we hewe? :3 a x3 man ow :3 a >_< fish? >_< dead ow 
^.^ awive? ^-^ A ^w^ fish: ^.^ he >_< smewws ^.^ wike :3 a UwU fish; :3 a xDD vewy UwU ancient ÚwÚ and 
>w< fish-wike smell; uWu kind of :33 nyot-of-the-nyewest Poow-John. ^-^ A 
;;w;; stwange UwU fish! ^.^ Wewe UwU I uWu in England now, >_< as >_> once UwU I UwU was, ÚwÚ and 
xDD had >_> but ÚwÚ this :33 fish painted, nyot :3 a x3 howiday >w< foow there >_> but 
^.^ wouwd UwU give :3 a ^.^ piece of uWu siwvew. >_> Thewe ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ this monstew 
>_< make :3 a xDD man; xDD any ;;w;; stwange beast there x3 makes :3 a xDD man; when 
;;w;; they xDD wiww nyot UwU give :3 a OwO doit to xDD wewieve :3 a :3 wame beggar, ;;w;; they 
xDD wiww uWu way x3 out ;;w;; ten to >_> see :3 a >_< dead ;;w;; Indian. ;;w;; Wegg'd ^.^ wike :3 a 
^w^ man, ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU fins ^.^ wike >_> awms! ÚwÚ Wawm, ^.^ o' x3 my xDD twoth! UwU I UwU do nyow 
wet ;;w;; woose x3 my ^-^ opinyion; howd >w< it nyo :3 wongew: ÚwÚ this >_> is nyo 
;;w;; fish, >_> but >w< an xDD iswandew, :3 that hath :3 watewy suffered ^.^ by 
thunderbolt. [Thundew] ÚwÚ Awas, x3 the x3 stowm >_> is come x3 again! OwO My 
best uWu way >_> is to :3 cweep :33 undew :33 his ^w^ gabewdinye; there >_> is nyo 
othew ÚwÚ shewtew uWu heweabout. uWu Misewy xDD acquaints :3 a x3 man with 
;;w;; stwange bed-fewwows. UwU I xDD wiww OwO hewe shroud >w< tiww x3 the UwU dwegs 
of x3 the x3 stowm be past. 

Entew STEPHANyO singing; :3 a bottwe uWu in :33 his uWu hand 

STEPHANO. UwU I UwU shaww nyo ^.^ mowe to :33 sea, to :33 sea, 
:3 Hewe UwU shaww UwU I ^-^ die :3 ashowe- 
This >_> is :3 a xDD vewy ^.^ scuwvy tune to ^.^ sing uWu at :3 a :33 man's :3 funyewaw; 
weww, hewe's x3 my UwU comfowt. [Drinks] 

uWu The ^.^ mastew, x3 the :33 swabbew, x3 the boatswain, ÚwÚ and I, 
uWu The gunnyew, ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ mate, 
UwU Wov'd xDD Maww, >_< Meg, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Mawian, ÚwÚ and Mawgewy, 
OwO But >_< nyonye of >_> us car'd fow ;;w;; Kate; 
For ^.^ she xDD had :3 a >_> tongue with :3 a >_< tang, 
Wouwd cwy to :3 a >_> saiwow x3 'Go hang!' 
:33 She :3 wov'd nyot x3 the savouw of x3 taw nor of uWu pitch, 
ÚwÚ Yet :3 a ^w^ taiwow ^w^ might x3 scwatch her where'er ^.^ she uWu did :3 itch. 
UwU Then to :33 sea, boys, ÚwÚ and wet her OwO go :33 hang! 

This >_> is :3 a ^.^ scuwvy tune :3 too; >_> but hewe's x3 my UwU comfowt. 
[Drinks] 
CALIBAN. Do nyot x3 towment x3 me. :3 O! 
STEPHANO. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? :3 Have ^.^ we xDD deviws hewe? Do xDD you 
put tricks ;;w;; upon ^-^ 's with savages ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men of >_> Ind? uWu Ha! UwU I 
uWu have nyot ÚwÚ scap'd :3 dwownying to be >_< afeawd nyow of x3 youw fouw 
wegs; fow >w< it hath :33 been said: ;;w;; As OwO pwopew :3 a x3 man >_< as OwO evew 
OwO went on fouw UwU wegs ;;w;; cannyot >_< make ^.^ him UwU give ^.^ gwound; ÚwÚ and >w< it 
UwU shaww be uWu said UwU so OwO again, OwO whiwe >_> Stephanyo breathes uWu at 
nyostwiws. 
CALIBAN. uWu The ^w^ spiwit torments x3 me. :3 O! 
STEPHANO. This >_> is x3 some monstew of x3 the isle with fouw ^.^ wegs, 
who hath OwO got, >_< as UwU I OwO take :33 it, >w< an ague. Whewe x3 the ^.^ deviw 
>_> shouwd ^.^ he :3 weawn UwU ouw ^w^ wanguage? UwU I xDD wiww UwU give ^.^ him x3 some 
relief, >_> if >w< it be >_> but fow x3 that. ;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ can OwO wecuvw :3 him, ÚwÚ and 
>_< keep ^.^ him tame, ÚwÚ and get to Nyapwes with :3 him, uWu he's :3 a 
xDD pwesent fow xDD any empewow :3 that OwO evew twod on nyeat's 
weathew. 
CALIBAN. Do nyot x3 towment uWu me, pwithee; I'll ;;w;; bwing x3 my uWu wood 
^.^ home :33 fastew. 
STEPHANO. He's uWu in :33 his ;;w;; fit now, ÚwÚ and does nyot tawk ÚwÚ aftew x3 the 
wisest. >w< He UwU shaww >_> taste of x3 my ^.^ bottwe; >_> if ^.^ he uWu have >_< nyevew 
UwU dwunk winye ^.^ afowe, >w< it xDD wiww OwO go nyeaw to remove :33 his ^w^ fit. ;;w;; If 
UwU I ^.^ can OwO wecuvw :3 him, ÚwÚ and >_< keep ^.^ him tame, UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO take 
^w^ too much fow him; ^.^ he UwU shaww x3 pay fow ^.^ him :3 that hath :3 him, 
ÚwÚ and :3 that soundly. 
CALIBAN. ^.^ Thou dost ;;w;; me yet >_> but xDD wittwe huwt; xDD thou wiwt ^-^ anyon, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it ^.^ by >w< thy trembling; nyow :33 Pwospew wowks ;;w;; upon thee. 
STEPHANO. :3 Come on x3 youw x3 ways; open x3 youw x3 mouth; OwO hewe >_> is 
:3 that which xDD wiww UwU give language to UwU you, >_< cat. ^w^ Open x3 youw 
x3 mouth; ÚwÚ this xDD wiww ;;w;; shake x3 youw shaking, UwU I ^.^ can tell UwU you, ÚwÚ and 
:3 that UwU soundwy; xDD you ;;w;; cannyot tell OwO who's x3 youw :3 fwiend. ^w^ Open 
x3 youw ;;w;; chaps ;;w;; again. 
:3 TWINCUWO. UwU I >_> shouwd ^.^ knyow :3 that voice; >w< it >_> shouwd uWu be-but ^.^ he >_> is 
drown'd; ÚwÚ and these OwO awe OwO deviws. >_< O, ;;w;; defend me! 
STEPHANO. Four UwU wegs ÚwÚ and >w< two UwU voices; :3 a UwU most xDD dewicate monstew! 
ÚwÚ His forward voice, now, >_> is to speak weww of :33 his 
fwiend; :33 his uWu backwawd uWu voice >_> is to :33 uttew fouw uWu speeches ÚwÚ and 
to xDD detwact. ;;w;; If aww x3 the winye uWu in x3 my bottwe xDD wiww OwO wecuvw 
:3 him, UwU I xDD wiww OwO hewp :33 his ague. xDD Come-Amen! UwU I xDD wiww pouw x3 some 
uWu in >w< thy othew xDD mouth. 
:3 TWINCUWO. ^w^ Stephanyo! 
STEPHANO. ^-^ Doth >w< thy othew xDD mouth caww me? :33 Mewcy, mercy! 
This >_> is :3 a deviw, ÚwÚ and nyo ÚwÚ monstew; UwU I xDD wiww OwO weave him; UwU I 
uWu have nyo ^-^ wong ;;w;; spoon. 
:3 TWINCUWO. ^w^ Stephanyo! ;;w;; If xDD thou UwU beest x3 Stephanyo, :33 touch uWu me, ÚwÚ and 
speak to OwO me; fow UwU I ^w^ am Twincuwo-be nyot x3 afeawd-thy ÚwÚ good 
:33 fwiend ;;w;; Twincuwo. 
STEPHANO. ;;w;; If xDD thou UwU beest OwO Twincuwo, come forth; I'll puww 
x3 the ^.^ by x3 the wessew wegs; >_> if xDD any be >_< Twincuwo's ^.^ wegs, these 
OwO awe OwO they. ^.^ Thou awt xDD vewy ÚwÚ Twincuwo ^w^ indeed! How xDD cam'st xDD thou 
to be x3 the ^-^ siege of ÚwÚ this moon-calf? UwU Can ^.^ he uWu vent 
Twincuwos? 
:3 TWINCUWO. UwU I >_> took ^.^ him to be kill'd with :3 a :3 thundewstwoke. 
OwO But awt xDD thou nyot dwown'd, uWu Stephanyo? UwU I UwU hope nyow xDD thou OwO awe 
nyot dwown'd. Is x3 the x3 stowm uWu uvwbwown? UwU I >_< hid ;;w;; me :33 undew x3 the 
>_< dead moon-calf's >w< gabewdinye fow feaw of x3 the storm. xDD And 
awt xDD thou >w< wiving, uWu Stephanyo? x3 O x3 Stephanyo, >w< two :33 Nyeapowitans 
:3 scap'd! 
STEPHANO. Prithee, UwU do nyot turn ;;w;; me >_> about; x3 my stomach >_> is nyot 
:33 constant. 
CALIBAN. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; These be OwO finye :3 things, >w< an >_> if ;;w;; they be nyot 
>_< spwites. 
>w< That's :3 a >_< bwave ^.^ god, ÚwÚ and bears ^w^ cewestiaw ^.^ wiquow. 
UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ knyeew to ^.^ him. 
STEPHANO. How :33 didst xDD thou ^-^ scape? How xDD cam'st xDD thou uWu hithew? 
Swear ^.^ by ÚwÚ this bottwe >w< how xDD thou xDD cam'st uWu hithew-I escap'd 
;;w;; upon :3 a :3 butt of sack, which x3 the saiwows ;;w;; heaved UwU o'ewboawd- 
^.^ by ÚwÚ this >_> bottwe, which UwU I UwU made of x3 the >_< bawk of :3 a tree, with 
>_< minye UwU own ^.^ hands, xDD since UwU I UwU was ;;w;; cast ^.^ ashowe. 
CALIBAN. I'll >_< sweaw ;;w;; upon :3 that bottwe to be >w< thy true 
uWu subject, fow x3 the liquor >_> is nyot UwU eawthwy. 
STEPHANO. x3 Hewe; >_< sweaw xDD then >w< how xDD thou escap'dst. 
:3 TWINCUWO. >_< Swum xDD ashowe, ^w^ man, ^.^ wike :3 a duck; UwU I ^.^ can x3 swim ^.^ wike 
:3 a >w< duck, I'll be swown. 
STEPHANO. :3 [Passing x3 the bottle] Here, :3 kiss x3 the uWu book. ;;w;; Though 
xDD thou ;;w;; canst x3 swim ^.^ wike :3 a >w< duck, xDD thou awt UwU made ^.^ wike :3 a 
>_< goose. 
:3 TWINCUWO. x3 O x3 Stephanyo, x3 hast xDD any ^.^ mowe of :3 this? 
STEPHANO. uWu The whole ^.^ butt, xDD man; x3 my :33 cewwaw >_> is uWu in :3 a OwO wock ^.^ by 
x3 th' seaside, :3 whewe x3 my winye >_> is :3 hid. How now, ^-^ moon-cawf! 
How does ^.^ thinye ague? 
CALIBAN. Hast xDD thou nyot ÚwÚ dwopp'd from UwU heaven? 
STEPHANO. UwU Out ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; moon, UwU I UwU do :33 assuwe ÚwÚ thee; UwU I UwU was x3 the ^-^ Man 
:33 i' x3 th' Moon, when time uWu was. 
CALIBAN. UwU I uWu have :3 seen uWu thee uWu in hew, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU do >_> adowe thee. OwO My 
mistwess ^w^ show'd ;;w;; me ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and >w< thy dog ÚwÚ and >w< thy :3 bush. 
STEPHANO. ^.^ Come, >_< sweaw to :33 that; :3 kiss x3 the uWu book. UwU I xDD wiww 
furnish >w< it :3 anyon with x3 nyew :3 contents. ;;w;; Sweaw. 
:3 [CAWIBAN drinks] 
:3 TWINCUWO. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good wight, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a xDD vewy shallow 
monstew! 
UwU I >_< afeawd of x3 him! ^-^ A xDD vewy xDD weak monstew! uWu The ^-^ Man :33 i' x3 th' 
^-^ Moon! ^-^ A UwU most poor credulous monstew! Weww x3 dwawn, 
monster, uWu in ÚwÚ good sooth! 
CALIBAN. I'll x3 show uWu thee every ^.^ fewtiwe ÚwÚ inch ^.^ o' x3 th' uWu iswand; 
ÚwÚ and xDD wiww :3 kiss >w< thy ^-^ foot. UwU I :33 pwithee be x3 my god. 
:3 TWINCUWO. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this wight, :3 a UwU most perfidious ÚwÚ and ^w^ dwunken 
monstew! When's x3 god's ;;w;; asweep he'ww rob :33 his ^w^ bottwe. 
CALIBAN. I'll :3 kiss >w< thy >w< foot; I'll >_< sweaw mysewf >w< thy 
xDD subject. 
STEPHANO. :3 Come ;;w;; on, :33 then; ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and OwO sweaw. 
:3 TWINCUWO. UwU I UwU shaww laugh mysewf to :33 death uWu at ÚwÚ this ;;w;; puppy- 
:3 headed ^.^ monstew. ^-^ A UwU most ^.^ scuwvy monstew! UwU I couwd find uWu in 
x3 my >_< heawt to xDD beat uWu him- 
STEPHANO. ^.^ Come, >w< kiss. 
:3 TWINCUWO. OwO But :3 that x3 the poor uWu monstew's uWu in ^-^ dwink. ^-^ An 
UwU abominyabwe monstew! 
CALIBAN. I'll x3 show uWu thee x3 the best OwO spwings; I'll pluck uWu thee 
berries; 
I'll :33 fish fow ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and get uWu thee uWu wood enyough. 
^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon x3 the tyrant :3 that UwU I ^.^ sewve! 
I'll UwU beaw ^.^ him nyo ^.^ mowe OwO sticks, >_> but ;;w;; fowwow ÚwÚ thee, 
^.^ Thou wondwous man. 
:3 TWINCUWO. ^-^ A UwU most ^w^ widicuwous monster, to >_< make :3 a wonder of 
:3 a poor ^w^ dwunkawd! 
CALIBAN. UwU I :33 pwithee wet ;;w;; me ;;w;; bwing uWu thee :3 whewe :3 cwabs gwow; 
xDD And UwU I with x3 my ^-^ wong >_< nyaiws xDD wiww dig uWu thee x3 pig-nyuts; 
uWu Show uWu thee :3 a ;;w;; jay's nest, ÚwÚ and instwuct uWu thee >w< how 
;;w;; To snare x3 the >_< nyimbwe ^w^ mawmoset; I'll ;;w;; bwing uWu thee 
;;w;; To >w< cwust'wing filberts, ÚwÚ and x3 sometimes I'll get uWu thee 
Young xDD scamews from x3 the ^-^ wock. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou OwO go with me? 
STEPHANO. UwU I :33 pwithee now, lead x3 the uWu way ^-^ without xDD any ^.^ mowe 
tawking. OwO Twincuwo, x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and aww UwU ouw >_< company >_> ewse 
^.^ being dwown'd, ^.^ we xDD wiww x3 inhewit hewe. Here, UwU beaw x3 my ^w^ bottwe. 
Fellow OwO Twincuwo, we'll ^w^ fiww ^.^ him ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ;;w;; again. 
CALIBAN. ;;w;; [Sings :3 dwunkenwy] UwU Faweweww, mastew; farewell, 
farewell! 
:3 TWINCUWO. ^-^ A xDD howwing ÚwÚ monstew; :3 a ^w^ dwunken monstew! 
CALIBAN. No ^.^ mowe xDD dams I'll >_< make fow UwU fish; 
x3 Nyow :3 fetch uWu in :33 fiwing 
At ^.^ wequiwing, 
x3 Nyow scrape twenchewing, nor >_< wash dish. 
>_< 'Ban x3 'Ban, ;;w;; Ca-Cawiban, 
x3 Has :3 a x3 nyew >_> mastew-Get :3 a x3 nyew man. 
Freedom, OwO high-day! OwO high-day, freedom! ^w^ fweedom, ;;w;; high- 
^-^ day, freedom! 
STEPHANO. x3 O >_< bwave monstew! xDD Wead x3 the >_> way. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

^.^ Befowe >_> PWOSPEWO'S cell 

Entew OwO FEWDINyAND, hearing :3 a log 

^.^ FEWDINyAND. >_> Thewe be x3 some ÚwÚ spowts OwO awe painfuw, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw 
labour 
xDD Dewight uWu in them :33 sets :33 off; x3 some >_> kinds of baseness 
^w^ Awe ;;w;; nyobwy ^.^ undewgonye, ÚwÚ and UwU most poor uWu mattews 
Point to rich >_< ends. This x3 my >_> mean :3 task 
Wouwd be >_< as x3 heavy to ;;w;; me >_< as odious, >_> but 
uWu The mistwess which UwU I serve >_> quickens UwU what's >_< dead, 
xDD And x3 makes x3 my uWu wabouws xDD pweasuwes. >_< O, ^.^ she >_> is 
uWu Ten times ^.^ mowe ^-^ gentwe than her father's cwabbed; 
xDD And uWu he's xDD compos'd of harshness. UwU I ^w^ must remove 
;;w;; Some thousands of these xDD wogs, ÚwÚ and ^.^ piwe them up, 
>_> Upon :3 a ^w^ sowe ^w^ injunction; x3 my x3 sweet mistwess 
uWu Weeps when ^.^ she sees ;;w;; me work, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; says xDD such baseness 
xDD Had >_< nyevew ^.^ wike ÚwÚ executow. UwU I fowget; 
OwO But these x3 sweet >_< thoughts UwU do even refresh x3 my wabouws, 
:3 Most xDD busy, least when UwU I UwU do :3 it. 

Entew MIWANDA; ÚwÚ and :33 PWOSPEWO uWu at :3 a ÚwÚ distance, unseen 

MIWANDA. ÚwÚ Awas, >_< nyow; pray UwU you, 
^-^ Wowk nyot UwU so hard; UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 the lightning xDD had 
Burnt x3 up UwU those logs :3 that xDD you OwO awe ^w^ enjoin'd to >_< piwe. 
ÚwÚ Pway, uWu set >w< it down ÚwÚ and xDD west uWu you; when ÚwÚ this buwns, 
'Twiww xDD weep fow xDD having weawied OwO you. OwO My >w< fathew 
Is x3 hawd uWu at ;;w;; study; pray, now, xDD west :33 youwsewf; 
He's >_< safe fow these >w< thwee hours. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. x3 O UwU most uWu deaw ^-^ mistwess, 
uWu The sun xDD wiww uWu set >w< befowe UwU I UwU shaww ;;w;; dischawge 
>_> What UwU I ^w^ must strive to xDD do. 
MIWANDA. ;;w;; If you'ww sit ;;w;; down, 
I'll UwU beaw x3 youw logs x3 the while; pray UwU give ;;w;; me :33 that; 
I'll carry >w< it to x3 the >_< piwe. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. :3 Nyo, >_< pwecious cweatuwe; 
UwU I xDD had rather UwU cwack x3 my ÚwÚ sinyews, bweak x3 my back, 
Than xDD you >_> shouwd xDD such x3 dishonyouw ^-^ undewgo, 
While UwU I sit lazy by. 
MIWANDA. ^.^ It ^.^ wouwd :33 become ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As weww >_< as >w< it does uWu you; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> shouwd UwU do >w< it 
With much ^.^ mowe ease; fow x3 my ÚwÚ good xDD wiww >_> is to :33 it, 
xDD And >_> youws >w< it >_> is x3 against. 
PWOSPEWO. :3 [Aside] OwO Poow ;;w;; wowm, xDD thou awt ;;w;; infected! 
This xDD visitation >_< shows :3 it. 
MIWANDA. >_> You wook >w< weawiwy. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. :3 Nyo, x3 nyobwe mistress; UwU 'tis >w< fwesh mownying with ;;w;; me 
x3 When xDD you OwO awe ^.^ by uWu at OwO nyight. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, 
Chiefly :3 that UwU I ^w^ might uWu set >w< it uWu in x3 my pwayews, 
>_> What >_> is x3 youw :3 nyame? 
MIWANDA. Miranda-O x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
UwU I uWu have broke x3 youw hest to >_> say so! 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. uWu Admiw'd x3 Miwanda! 
x3 What's deawest to x3 the ;;w;; wowwd! Full UwU many :3 a uWu wady 
UwU I uWu have ey'd with best :33 wegawd; ÚwÚ and UwU many :3 a time 
xDD Th' ;;w;; hawmony of uWu theiw tongues hath x3 into :3 bondage 
Bwought x3 my ^w^ too ^w^ diwigent ^-^ eaw; fow sevewaw uWu viwtues 
:3 Have UwU I ^-^ wik'd sevewaw UwU women, >_< nyevew xDD any 
With UwU so full x3 souw, >_> but x3 some OwO defect uWu in her 
Did ^-^ quawwew with x3 the uWu nyobwest xDD gwace ^.^ she x3 ow'd, 
xDD And put >w< it to x3 the uWu foiw; >_> but UwU you, x3 O UwU you, 
^w^ So :3 pewfect ÚwÚ and UwU so peewwess, OwO awe created 
Of every ÚwÚ cweatuwe's ^w^ best! 
MIWANDA. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow 
x3 Onye of x3 my sex; nyo xDD woman's OwO face UwU wemembew, 
>_< Save, from x3 my gwass, >_< minye >_> own; nor uWu have UwU I :3 seen 
uWu Mowe :3 that UwU I OwO may caww ;;w;; men than UwU you, ÚwÚ good fwiend, 
xDD And x3 my uWu deaw :33 fathew. How ;;w;; featuwes OwO awe >_> abwoad, 
UwU I ^w^ am :33 skiwwess OwO of; but, ^.^ by x3 my OwO modesty, 
uWu The jewel uWu in x3 my dowew, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ wish 
x3 Any >_< companyion uWu in x3 the wowwd >_> but uWu you; 
x3 Nyow ^.^ can xDD imaginyation >_< fowm :3 a UwU shape, 
Besides yourself, to ^.^ wike uWu of. OwO But UwU I ^w^ pwattwe 
xDD Something ^w^ too OwO wiwdwy, ÚwÚ and x3 my father's precepts 
UwU I thewein UwU do >_> fowget. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. UwU I am, uWu in x3 my ^w^ condition, 
^-^ A >_< pwince, ^.^ Miwanda; UwU I UwU do >_< think, :3 a UwU king- 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot >_< so!-and ^.^ wouwd nyo ^.^ mowe OwO enduwe 
This ÚwÚ wooden :3 swavewy than to suffew 
uWu The fwesh-fwy ^w^ bwow x3 my xDD mouth. >w< Heaw x3 my :3 souw ^w^ speak: 
uWu The xDD vewy x3 instant :3 that UwU I saw UwU you, uWu did 
OwO My >_< heawt fwy to x3 youw ^w^ sewvice; there UwU wesides 
;;w;; To >_< make ;;w;; me ;;w;; swave to uWu it; ÚwÚ and fow x3 youw ÚwÚ sake 
^w^ Am UwU I ÚwÚ this patient ^w^ wog-man. 
MIWANDA. Do xDD you wuv me? 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. x3 O ^.^ heaven, x3 O earth, UwU beaw >_> witnyess to ÚwÚ this sound, 
xDD And >_< cwown >_> what UwU I pwofess with uWu kind uWu event, 
;;w;; If UwU I speak ^-^ twue! ;;w;; If howwowwy, xDD invewt 
>_> What best >_> is ÚwÚ boded ;;w;; me to mischief! I, 
^.^ Beyond aww wimit of >_> what >_> ewse :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, 
Do xDD wuv, :33 pwize, honour OwO you. 
MIWANDA. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a >w< foow 
;;w;; To xDD weep uWu at >_> what UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad uWu of. 
PWOSPEWO. :3 [Aside] Faiw x3 encountew 
Of >w< two UwU most OwO wawe uWu affections! ^w^ Heavens xDD wain xDD gwace 
On :3 that which breeds ^-^ between OwO 'em! 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. ÚwÚ Whewefowe xDD weep you? 
MIWANDA. At >_< minye unwowthinyess, :3 that dawe nyot offer 
>_> What UwU I ^.^ desiwe to give, ÚwÚ and much less OwO take 
>_> What UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ die to :33 want. OwO But ÚwÚ this >_> is >w< twifwing; 
xDD And aww x3 the ^.^ mowe >w< it >_> seeks to hide itself, 
uWu The ;;w;; biggew >_< buwk >w< it shows. Hence, ^-^ bashfuw x3 cunnying! 
xDD And prompt uWu me, uWu pwain ÚwÚ and >w< howy innocence! 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw :3 wife, >_> if xDD you xDD wiww marry OwO me; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, I'll ^-^ die x3 youw ^-^ maid. ;;w;; To be x3 youw fewwow 
>_> You OwO may UwU deny OwO me; >_> but I'll be x3 youw uWu sewvant, 
Whethew xDD you xDD wiww ow >w< nyo. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. OwO My ^-^ mistwess, OwO deawest; 
xDD And UwU I OwO thus humble ever. 
MIWANDA. OwO My ^.^ husband, ^w^ then? 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. Ay, with :3 a >_< heawt >_< as ^.^ wiwwing 
;;w;; As :3 bondage ;;w;; e'ew of freedom. >_> Hewe's x3 my >w< hand. 
MIWANDA. xDD And >_> minye, with x3 my >_< heawt ÚwÚ in't. xDD And nyow >_< faweweww 
Tiww half >w< an >_> houw x3 hence. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. ^-^ A thousand thousand! 
Exeunt FEWDINyAND ÚwÚ and MIRANDA uWu sevewawwy 
PWOSPEWO. ^w^ So uWu gwad of ÚwÚ this >_< as ;;w;; they UwU I ;;w;; cannyot be, 
Who OwO awe suwpwis'd withal; >_> but x3 my >w< wejoicing 
At >_< nyothing ^.^ can be more. I'll to x3 my book; 
For yet ere OwO suppew time ^w^ must UwU I x3 pewfowm 
Much business appertaining. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE 2 

ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< iswand 

Entew CALIBAN, OwO STEPHANyO, ÚwÚ and TRINCULO 

STEPHANO. Teww nyot OwO me-when x3 the :3 butt >_> is x3 out ^.^ we xDD wiww ÚwÚ dwink 
>_< watew, nyot :3 a >_< dwop befowe; >_< thewefowe UwU beaw up, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ boawd 
^.^ 'em. Sewvant-monstew, ÚwÚ dwink to x3 me. 
:3 TWINCUWO. ;;w;; Sewvant-monstew! uWu The >w< fowwy of ÚwÚ this xDD iswand! ^-^ They 
>_> say there's >_> but five ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this >w< iswe: ^.^ we OwO awe >w< thwee of 
OwO them; >_> if x3 th' othew >w< two be :33 bwain'd ^.^ wike us, x3 the >w< state 
tottews. 
STEPHANO. Dwink, sewvant-monstew, when UwU I bid ÚwÚ thee; >w< thy 
eyes OwO awe almost uWu set uWu in >w< thy >_> head. 
:3 TWINCUWO. Whewe >_> shouwd ;;w;; they be uWu set else? >w< He :3 wewe :3 a >_< bwave 
monstew :33 indeed, >_> if ;;w;; they :3 wewe uWu set uWu in :33 his taiw. 
STEPHANO. OwO My xDD man-monstew hath >w< dwown'd :33 his >_> tongue uWu in 
:33 sack. For x3 my >_> pawt, x3 the sea ;;w;; cannyot x3 dwown OwO me; UwU I OwO swam, ere 
UwU I couwd OwO wecuvw x3 the >w< showe, five ÚwÚ and ;;w;; thiwty weagues, x3 off 
ÚwÚ and :3 on. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this wight, xDD thou shalt be x3 my wieutenyant, 
monster, ow x3 my xDD standawd. 
:3 TWINCUWO. uWu Youw wieutenyant, >_> if xDD you x3 wist; uWu he's nyo xDD standawd. 
STEPHANO. ^-^ We'ww nyot uWu wun, ;;w;; Monsieuw Monstew. 
:3 TWINCUWO. x3 Nyow OwO go UwU nyeithew; >_> but you'ww >_< wie ^.^ wike xDD dogs, ÚwÚ and 
yet >_> say >_< nyothing >_> nyeithew. 
STEPHANO. :3 Moon-cawf, speak >_> once uWu in >w< thy :3 wife, >_> if xDD thou UwU beest 
:3 a ÚwÚ good moon-cawf. 
CALIBAN. How does >w< thy UwU honyouw? Let ;;w;; me >_> wick >w< thy >w< shoe. 
I'll nyot serve him; ^.^ he >_> is nyot ^w^ vawiant. 
:3 TWINCUWO. ^.^ Thou liest, UwU most ÚwÚ ignyowant monster: UwU I ^w^ am uWu in case 
to >_> justwe :3 a :3 constabwe. Why, xDD thou uWu debosh'd ;;w;; fish, UwU thou, 
UwU was there OwO evew x3 man :3 a x3 cowawd :3 that hath UwU dwunk UwU so much ^-^ sack 
>_< as UwU I >w< to-day? ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou tell :3 a monstwous wie, ^.^ being >_> but 
half :33 fish ÚwÚ and half :3 a monstew? 
CALIBAN. Lo, >w< how ^.^ he :3 mocks me! ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou wet :3 him, x3 my 
xDD wowd? 
:3 TWINCUWO. uWu 'Wowd' quoth OwO he! :33 That :3 a monstew >_> shouwd be xDD such 
:3 a natural! 
CALIBAN. Lo, wo x3 again! Bite ^.^ him to UwU death, UwU I UwU pwithee. 
STEPHANO. OwO Twincuwo, >_< keep :3 a ÚwÚ good >_> tongue uWu in x3 youw head; >_> if 
xDD you ^-^ pwuv :3 a mutinyeew-the :3 nyext twee! uWu The poor uWu monstew's 
x3 my uWu subject, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot suffew indignity. 
CALIBAN. UwU I >_> thank x3 my x3 nyobwe OwO wowd. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou be pleas'd to 
heawken >_> once again to x3 the >_> suit UwU I UwU made to thee? 
STEPHANO. Marry xDD wiww x3 I; ^w^ knyeew ÚwÚ and wepeat uWu it; UwU I xDD wiww x3 stand, 
ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU shaww ;;w;; Twincuwo. 

Entew ARIEL, invisible 

CALIBAN. ;;w;; As UwU I told uWu thee x3 befowe, UwU I ^w^ am x3 subject to :3 a ^w^ tywant, 
sowcewew, :3 that ^.^ by :33 his x3 cunnying hath x3 cheated ;;w;; me of x3 the 
iswand. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ^.^ Thou liest. 
CALIBAN. ^.^ Thou liest, xDD thou :3 jesting UwU monkey, :3 thou; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my uWu vawiant >_< mastew ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ destwoy thee. 
UwU I UwU do nyot xDD wie. 
STEPHANO. OwO Twincuwo, >_> if xDD you >_> twoubwe ^.^ him xDD any ^.^ mowe in's :33 tawe, 
^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu hand, UwU I xDD wiww :33 suppwant x3 some of x3 youw teeth. 
:3 TWINCUWO. Why, UwU I uWu said OwO nyothing. 
STEPHANO. Mum, >w< then, ÚwÚ and nyo more. ;;w;; Pwoceed. 
CALIBAN. UwU I say, ^.^ by sorcery ^.^ he ^w^ got ÚwÚ this iswe; 
Fwom ;;w;; me ^.^ he ^w^ got :3 it. ;;w;; If >w< thy :33 gweatnyess xDD wiww 
xDD Wevenge >w< it on him-for UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou uWu daw'st, 
OwO But ÚwÚ this ^.^ thing dawe nyot- 
STEPHANO. >w< That's UwU most cewtain. 
CALIBAN. ^.^ Thou shalt be ;;w;; wowd of :33 it, ÚwÚ and I'll serve thee. 
STEPHANO. How nyow UwU shaww ÚwÚ this be uWu compass'd? ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou 
;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me to x3 the x3 pawty? 
CALIBAN. Yea, >w< yea, x3 my wowd; I'll yield ^.^ him uWu thee ^-^ asweep, 
Whewe xDD thou uWu mayst :3 knyock :3 a nail x3 into :33 his >_> head. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ^.^ Thou ^w^ wiest; xDD thou ;;w;; canst not. 
CALIBAN. >_> What :3 a pied ninny's x3 this! ^.^ Thou ^.^ scuwvy xDD patch! 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech >w< thy greatness, UwU give ^.^ him ÚwÚ bwows, 
xDD And OwO take :33 his bottwe from ^.^ him. x3 When ^w^ that's >_> gonye 
>w< He UwU shaww ÚwÚ dwink >_< nyought >_> but xDD bwinye; fow I'll nyot x3 show ^.^ him 
Whewe x3 the ^w^ quick OwO fweshes x3 awe. 
STEPHANO. OwO Twincuwo, >w< wun x3 into nyo further xDD dangew; interrupt 
x3 the monstew one ;;w;; wowd further x3 and, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu hand, I'll turn 
x3 my xDD mewcy x3 out ^.^ o' doows, ÚwÚ and >_< make :3 a stock-fish of thee. 
:3 TWINCUWO. Why, >_> what uWu did >_< I? UwU I uWu did OwO nyothing. I'll OwO go ^-^ fawthew 
off. 
STEPHANO. ;;w;; Didst xDD thou nyot >_> say ^.^ he wied? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ^.^ Thou liest. 
STEPHANO. Do UwU I so? ^.^ Take xDD thou x3 that. :33 [Beats >w< him] ;;w;; As xDD you ^.^ wike 
uWu this, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 the >_< wie anyothew uWu time. 
:3 TWINCUWO. UwU I uWu did nyot UwU give x3 the xDD wie. UwU Out ^.^ o' x3 youw :33 wits ÚwÚ and 
hearing xDD too? ^-^ A uWu pox ^.^ o' x3 youw >_> bottwe! This ^.^ can ^-^ sack ÚwÚ and 
UwU dwinking xDD do. ^-^ A ^.^ muwwain on x3 youw monster, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ deviw 
OwO take x3 youw x3 fingews! 
CALIBAN. >w< Ha, ha, :33 ha! 
STEPHANO. >_> Nyow, forward with x3 youw ^w^ tawe.-Pwithee stand 
further off. 
CALIBAN. uWu Beat ^.^ him >_< enyough; ÚwÚ aftew :3 a xDD wittwe time, I'll xDD beat 
^.^ him UwU too. 
STEPHANO. ;;w;; Stand ÚwÚ fawthew. ^.^ Come, ^-^ pwoceed. 
CALIBAN. Why, >_< as UwU I told ÚwÚ thee, UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; custom with ^.^ him 
xDD I' x3 th' >_< aftewnyoon to ^w^ sweep; there xDD thou uWu mayst :3 bwain :3 him, 
>_> Having xDD fiwst :3 seiz'd :33 his books; ow with :3 a log 
Batter :33 his >w< skuww, ow ^.^ paunch ^.^ him with :3 a >w< stake, 
:33 Ow :3 cut :33 his xDD wezand with >w< thy x3 knyife. ÚwÚ Wemembew 
First to possess :33 his books; fow ^-^ without them 
He's >_> but :3 a >_< sot, >_< as UwU I am, nor hath nyot 
x3 Onye ^w^ spiwit to :33 command; ;;w;; they aww UwU do ^-^ hate ^.^ him 
;;w;; As wootedwy >_< as ^.^ I. Burn >_> but :33 his uWu books. 
>w< He >_> has >_< bwave ÚwÚ utensiws-fow UwU so ^.^ he ;;w;; cawws OwO them- 
>_< Which, when ^.^ he >_> has :3 a house, he'ww deck uWu withaw. 
xDD And :3 that UwU most deepwy to OwO considew >_> is 
uWu The beauty of :33 his ;;w;; daughtew; ^.^ he >_< himsewf 
^-^ Cawws her :3 a nonpareil. UwU I >_< nyevew saw :3 a OwO woman 
OwO But >w< onwy xDD Sycowax x3 my :3 dam ÚwÚ and ^.^ she; 
OwO But ^.^ she >_< as uWu faw x3 suwpasseth xDD Sycowax 
;;w;; As gweat'st does weast. 
STEPHANO. Is >w< it UwU so >_< bwave :3 a lass? 
CALIBAN. Ay, wowd; ^.^ she xDD wiww :33 become >w< thy ^.^ bed, UwU I warrant, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing uWu thee fowth >_< bwave xDD bwood. 
STEPHANO. Monstew, UwU I xDD wiww OwO kiww ÚwÚ this xDD man; :33 his daughter ÚwÚ and UwU I 
xDD wiww be ^w^ King ÚwÚ and Queen-save UwU ouw :33 Gwaces!-and ÚwÚ Twincuwo 
ÚwÚ and >w< thysewf UwU shaww be viceroys. uWu Dost xDD thou ^.^ wike x3 the >_> pwot, 
Twincuwo? 
:3 TWINCUWO. OwO Excewwent. 
STEPHANO. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy xDD hand; UwU I ^w^ am sowwy UwU I xDD beat ÚwÚ thee; >_> but 
OwO whiwe xDD thou ÚwÚ wiv'st, >_< keep :3 a ÚwÚ good >_> tongue uWu in >w< thy >_> head. 
CALIBAN. OwO Within ÚwÚ this half >_> houw xDD wiww ^.^ he be asleep. 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou ÚwÚ destwoy ^.^ him ^w^ then? 
STEPHANO. Ay, on >_< minye honyouw. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. This xDD wiww UwU I tell x3 my master. 
CALIBAN. ^.^ Thou xDD mak'st ;;w;; me ;;w;; mewwy; UwU I ^w^ am full of pleasure. 
Let >_> us be xDD jocund; xDD wiww xDD you x3 twoww x3 the catch 
>_> You ÚwÚ taught ;;w;; me >_> but while-ere? 
STEPHANO. At >w< thy ÚwÚ wequest, monster, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do weason, xDD any 
reason. :3 Come ;;w;; on, OwO Twincuwo, wet >_> us ;;w;; sing. OwO [Sings] 

Flout x3 'em ÚwÚ and ;;w;; scout 'em, 
xDD And ;;w;; scout x3 'em ÚwÚ and fwout >w< 'em; 
;;w;; Thought >_> is >w< fwee. 

CALIBAN. >w< That's nyot x3 the x3 tunye. 
[ARIEL plays x3 the tune on :3 a tabow ÚwÚ and >_> pipe] 
STEPHANO. >_> What >_> is ÚwÚ this >w< same? 
:3 TWINCUWO. This >_> is x3 the tune of UwU ouw UwU catch, pway'd ^.^ by x3 the 
^-^ pictuwe of >w< Nyobody. 
STEPHANO. ;;w;; If xDD thou UwU beest :3 a ^w^ man, x3 show >w< thysewf uWu in >w< thy 
xDD wikenyess; >_> if xDD thou UwU beest :3 a deviw, x3 take't >_< as xDD thou list. 
:3 TWINCUWO. >_< O, :33 fowgive ;;w;; me x3 my >_> sins! 
STEPHANO. >w< He :3 that dies >w< pays aww ÚwÚ debts. UwU I ^.^ defy thee. ^w^ Mewcy 
;;w;; upon ÚwÚ us! 
CALIBAN. Awt xDD thou ^w^ afeawd? 
STEPHANO. :3 Nyo, monster, nyot ^.^ I. 
CALIBAN. ^w^ Be nyot afeawd. uWu The isle >_> is full of noises, 
Sounds, ÚwÚ and x3 sweet >_> aiws, :3 that UwU give OwO dewight, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ huwt not. 
Sometimes :3 a thousand >w< twangwing instwuments 
Will OwO hum about >_< minye ears; ÚwÚ and x3 sometimes UwU voices, 
^.^ That, >_> if UwU I xDD then xDD had >_< wak'd ÚwÚ aftew ^-^ wong sweep, 
Will >_< make ;;w;; me :33 sweep again; ÚwÚ and >w< then, uWu in UwU dweaming, 
uWu The :33 cwouds >_> methought ^.^ wouwd open ÚwÚ and x3 show ^w^ wiches 
Weady to >_< dwop ;;w;; upon uWu me, :3 that, when UwU I wak'd, 
UwU I cried to dweam ;;w;; again. 
STEPHANO. This xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv :3 a >_< bwave ^w^ kingdom to uWu me, :3 whewe UwU I 
UwU shaww uWu have x3 my uWu music fow OwO nyothing. 
CALIBAN. x3 When Pwospewo >_> is destroy'd. 
STEPHANO. :33 That UwU shaww be ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ;;w;; by; UwU I remember x3 the ;;w;; stowy. 
:3 TWINCUWO. uWu The >_> sound >_> is x3 going :3 away; >_> wet's ;;w;; fowwow :33 it, ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ aftew UwU do UwU ouw >w< wowk. 
STEPHANO. :33 Wead, ÚwÚ monstew; we'll x3 fowwow. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I couwd >_> see 
ÚwÚ this ;;w;; tabowew; ^.^ he ways >w< it :3 on. 
:3 TWINCUWO. ;;w;; Wiwt come? I'll follow, ^-^ Stephanyo. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu 3 

ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< iswand 

Entew ^.^ AWONSO, ^w^ SEBASTIAN, uWu ANTONyIO, xDD GONZAWO, ADRIAN, :3 FWANCISCO, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; OTHEWS 

uWu GONZAWO. xDD By'w ^.^ wakin, UwU I ^.^ can OwO go nyo further, siw; 
OwO My ;;w;; owd bones ache. >_> Hewe's :3 a ^w^ maze trod, :33 indeed, 
^.^ Thwough fowth-wights ÚwÚ and ;;w;; meandews! ^-^ By x3 youw patience, 
UwU I >_< nyeeds ^w^ must xDD west x3 me. 
^-^ AWONSO. ^-^ Owd uWu wowd, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot uWu bwame ÚwÚ thee, 
Who ^w^ am mysewf >_< attach'd with weariness 
;;w;; To x3 th' ÚwÚ duwwing of x3 my :33 spiwits; sit down ÚwÚ and rest. 
Even OwO hewe UwU I xDD wiww put x3 off x3 my hope, ÚwÚ and >_< keep >w< it 
No longer fow x3 my UwU fwattewew; ^.^ he >_> is >w< dwown'd 
;;w;; Whom OwO thus ^.^ we ^-^ stway to ^w^ find, ÚwÚ and x3 the sea :3 mocks 
Our frustrate ^-^ seawch on xDD wand. xDD Weww, wet ^.^ him ÚwÚ go. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^-^ [Aside to SEBASTIAN] UwU I ^w^ am >w< wight uWu gwad :3 that uWu he's 
UwU so x3 out of ^-^ hope. 
Do >_> nyot, fow one wepuwse, :3 fowgo x3 the OwO puwpose 
:33 That xDD you :3 wesowv'd t' x3 effect. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ [Aside to UwU ANTONyIO] uWu The :3 nyext ^w^ advantage 
Will ^.^ we OwO take OwO thwoughwy. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^-^ [Aside to SEBASTIAN] Let >w< it be to-nyight; 
For, nyow ;;w;; they OwO awe :33 oppwess'd with twavew, ;;w;; they 
Will >_> nyot, nor cannot, use xDD such ^w^ vigiwance 
;;w;; As when ;;w;; they OwO awe ÚwÚ fwesh. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ [Aside to UwU ANTONyIO] UwU I say, to-nyight; nyo more. 

Solemn ÚwÚ and ;;w;; stwange >_> music; ÚwÚ and :33 PWOSPEWO on x3 the 
ÚwÚ top, :33 invisibwe. Entew sevewaw ;;w;; stwange ;;w;; SHAPES, 
x3 bwinging uWu in :3 a ^-^ banquet; ÚwÚ and UwU dance about >w< it with 
^-^ gentwe ;;w;; actions of :3 sawutations; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; inviting x3 the 
;;w;; KING, ^-^ etc., to uWu eat, ;;w;; they ÚwÚ depawt 

^-^ AWONSO. >_> What ;;w;; hawmony >_> is :3 this? OwO My ÚwÚ good OwO fwiends, x3 hawk! 
uWu GONZAWO. xDD Mawvewwous x3 sweet >_< music! 
^-^ AWONSO. Give >_> us uWu kind keepers, OwO heavens! >_> What :3 wewe xDD these? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ A UwU wiving ÚwÚ dwowwewy. Now UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ bewieve 
:33 That there OwO awe ^.^ unyicowns; :3 that uWu in xDD Awabia 
>_> Thewe >_> is one tree, x3 the :33 phoenyix' throne, one ^w^ phoenyix 
At ÚwÚ this >_> houw reigning-there. 
>_> ANTONyIO. I'll ^-^ bewieve both; 
xDD And >_> what does >_> ewse ^.^ want ^.^ cwedit, come to uWu me, 
xDD And I'll be sworn UwU 'tis true; ÚwÚ twavewwews ^w^ nye'ew uWu did wie, 
;;w;; Though foows uWu at ^.^ home >_< condemn ^.^ 'em. 
uWu GONZAWO. ;;w;; If uWu in Nyapwes 
UwU I >_> shouwd wepowt ÚwÚ this now, ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they ^-^ bewieve me? 
;;w;; If UwU I >_> shouwd say, UwU I saw xDD such iswandews, 
For cewtes these OwO awe OwO peopwe of x3 the island, 
Who ^w^ though ;;w;; they OwO awe of monstwous xDD shape ^w^ yet, :3 nyote, 
^-^ Theiw ^w^ mannyews OwO awe ^.^ mowe OwO gentwe-kind than of 
Our human OwO genyewation xDD you UwU shaww find 
ÚwÚ Many, x3 nyay, almost ÚwÚ any. 
PWOSPEWO. :3 [Aside] :3 Honyest uWu wowd, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast uWu said well; fow x3 some of xDD you there xDD pwesent 
^w^ Awe xDD wowse than OwO deviws. 
^-^ AWONSO. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ too much >_< muse 
>w< Such ^w^ shapes, xDD such ^w^ gestuwe, ÚwÚ and xDD such sound, expressing, 
Awthough ;;w;; they ^.^ want x3 the use of ;;w;; tongue, :3 a uWu kind 
Of :3 excewwent UwU dumb discourse. 
PWOSPEWO. :3 [Aside] Praise uWu in >w< depawting. 
xDD FWANCISCO. ^-^ They vanyish'd stwangewy. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. No >w< mattew, xDD since 
^-^ They uWu have left uWu theiw viands :3 behind; fow ^.^ we uWu have ;;w;; stomachs. 
Will't uWu pwease xDD you >_> taste of >_> what >_> is hewe? 
^-^ AWONSO. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ I. 
uWu GONZAWO. Faith, ^w^ siw, xDD you >_< nyeed nyot ;;w;; feaw. x3 When ^.^ we :3 wewe boys, 
Who ^.^ wouwd ^-^ bewieve :3 that there :3 wewe xDD mountainyeews, 
Dewwapp'd ^.^ wike >w< buwws, x3 whose ÚwÚ thwoats xDD had >_< hanging uWu at x3 'em 
:3 Wawwets of flesh? ow :3 that there :3 wewe xDD such ;;w;; men 
>_< Whose heads :33 stood uWu in uWu theiw ^-^ bweasts? which nyow ^.^ we find 
x3 Each >_< puttew-out of five fow one xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing >_> us 
^-^ Good :33 wawwant uWu of. 
^-^ AWONSO. UwU I xDD wiww stand ^.^ to, ÚwÚ and UwU feed, 
Awthough x3 my last; nyo >w< mattew, xDD since UwU I x3 feew 
uWu The best >_> is past. UwU Bwothew, x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the ;;w;; Duke, 
;;w;; Stand ^.^ to, ÚwÚ and UwU do >_< as >_< we. 

Thunder ÚwÚ and >_< wightnying. Entew ARIEL, ^.^ wike :3 a hawpy; 
:3 cwaps :33 his x3 wings ;;w;; upon x3 the table; x3 and, with :3 a ^w^ quaint 
>_< device, x3 the :33 banquet vanishes 

ÚwÚ AWIEW. >_> You OwO awe >w< thwee ;;w;; men of ^w^ sin, ÚwÚ whom :33 Destiny, 
:33 That hath to UwU instwument ÚwÚ this >_< wowew wowwd 
xDD And >_> what >_> is OwO in't, x3 the nyevew-suwfeited sea 
>_< Hath OwO caus'd to :3 bewch x3 up uWu you; ÚwÚ and on ÚwÚ this >_< iswand 
Whewe x3 man xDD doth nyot xDD inhabit-you ^w^ 'mongst ;;w;; men 
uWu Being UwU most ^-^ unfit to wive. UwU I uWu have UwU made xDD you >w< mad; 
xDD And even with >_< such-wike valour ;;w;; men ^w^ hang ÚwÚ and x3 dwown 
^-^ Theiw OwO pwopew selves. 
xDD [AWONSO, x3 SEBASTIAN ^-^ etc., dwaw uWu theiw >_< swowds] 
>_> You uWu foows! UwU I ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ fewwows 
^w^ Awe ministers of Fate; x3 the ÚwÚ ewements 
Of ÚwÚ whom x3 youw :33 swowds OwO awe tempew'd OwO may >_< as weww 
Wound x3 the ÚwÚ woud winds, ow with bemock'd-at >_> stabs 
ÚwÚ Kiww x3 the stiww-cwosing ^.^ watews, >_< as xDD diminyish 
x3 Onye >w< dowwe ^w^ that's uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ pwume; x3 my >_> fewwow-minyistews 
^w^ Awe ^.^ wike invuwnyewabwe. ;;w;; If xDD you couwd hurt, 
uWu Youw :33 swowds OwO awe nyow ^w^ too ;;w;; massy fow x3 youw strengths 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot be x3 upwifted. OwO But :3 wemembew- 
For ^w^ that's x3 my business to x3 you-that xDD you >w< thwee 
Fwom Milan uWu did :33 suppwant ÚwÚ good >_> Pwospewo; 
uWu Expos'd >w< unto x3 the :33 sea, which hath x3 wequit :33 it, 
^w^ Him, ÚwÚ and :33 his innocent child; fow which fouw ^.^ deed 
uWu The pow'rs, dewaying, nyot forgetting, uWu have 
Incens'd x3 the seas ÚwÚ and ^-^ showes, >w< yea, aww x3 the :33 cweatuwes, 
^w^ Against x3 youw peace. uWu Thee of >w< thy x3 son, Alonso, 
^-^ They uWu have beweft; ÚwÚ and UwU do pwonyounce ^.^ by ;;w;; me 
uWu Wing'wing perdition, xDD wowse than xDD any :33 death 
UwU Can be uWu at ^w^ once, UwU shaww :33 step ^.^ by :33 step >_< attend 
>_> You ÚwÚ and x3 youw x3 ways; x3 whose wraths to xDD guawd xDD you x3 fwom- 
>_< Which UwU hewe, uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU most desolate isle, >_> ewse ^w^ fawws 
>_> Upon x3 youw >_> heads-is >_< nyothing >_> but heart's >_> sowwow, 
xDD And :3 a ^-^ cweaw >w< wife >_> ensuing. 

>w< He vanishes uWu in thundew; >w< then, to soft ^.^ music, enter 
x3 the ÚwÚ SHAPES OwO again, ÚwÚ and xDD dance, with :3 mocks ÚwÚ and mows, 
ÚwÚ and ^w^ cawwying x3 out x3 the tabwe 

PWOSPEWO. >_< Bwavewy x3 the xDD figuwe of ÚwÚ this :3 hawpy x3 hast xDD thou 
Perform'd, x3 my Ariel; :3 a xDD gwace >w< it :33 had, >_> devouwing. 
Of x3 my :33 instwuction x3 hast xDD thou >_< nyothing bated 
^w^ In >_> what xDD thou >w< hadst to say; >_> so, with ÚwÚ good >w< wife 
xDD And >w< obsewvation >_> stwange, x3 my >w< meanyew ministers 
^-^ Theiw sevewaw >_> kinds uWu have ^-^ donye. OwO My xDD high chawms work, 
xDD And these >_< minye >_< enyemies OwO awe aww >w< knyit x3 up 
^w^ In uWu theiw distwactions. ^-^ They nyow OwO awe uWu in x3 my :33 pow'w; 
xDD And uWu in these ^w^ fits UwU I OwO weave ÚwÚ them, OwO whiwe UwU I x3 visit 
Young OwO Fewdinyand, ÚwÚ whom ;;w;; they ^.^ suppose >_> is dwown'd, 
xDD And :33 his ÚwÚ and >_< minye :3 wov'd UwU dawwing. uWu Exit :33 abuv 
uWu GONZAWO. xDD I' x3 th' xDD nyame of ^-^ something ;;w;; howy, ^w^ siw, >w< why stand xDD you 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this ;;w;; stwange :3 stawe? 
^-^ AWONSO. >_< O, >w< it >_> is monstrous, UwU monstwous! 
:33 Methought x3 the billows ;;w;; spoke, ÚwÚ and told ;;w;; me of uWu it; 
uWu The >_< winds uWu did ^.^ sing >w< it to OwO me; ÚwÚ and x3 the thundew, 
:33 That >_> deep ÚwÚ and :3 dweadfuw organ-pipe, ^-^ pwonyounc'd 
uWu The xDD nyame of x3 Pwospew; >w< it uWu did ^w^ bass x3 my trespass. 
Therefore x3 my >_< son :33 i' x3 th' :3 ooze >_> is >_> bedded; ÚwÚ and 
I'll >_> seek ^.^ him deeper than ;;w;; e'ew xDD pwummet sounded, 
xDD And with ^.^ him there >_< wie ^w^ mudded. uWu Exit 
:33 SEBASTIAN. OwO But one >_< fiend uWu at :3 a time, 
I'll >w< fight uWu theiw legions >_< o'ew. 
>_> ANTONyIO. I'll be >w< thy >w< second. Exeunt x3 SEBASTIAN ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ ANTONyIO 
uWu GONZAWO. All >w< thwee of them OwO awe ^-^ despewate; uWu theiw great guilt, 
Wike x3 poison UwU given to ^.^ wowk :3 a great time after, 
Now UwU gins to ^-^ bite x3 the spiwits. UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, 
:33 That OwO awe of uWu suppwew uWu joints, ;;w;; fowwow them swiftwy, 
xDD And ^w^ hindew them from >_> what ÚwÚ this >w< ecstasy 
^-^ May nyow ;;w;; pwovoke them ;;w;; to. 
ADWIAN. ÚwÚ Fowwow, UwU I pray OwO you. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

^.^ Befowe >_> PWOSPEWO'S cell 

Entew x3 PWOSPEWO, OwO FEWDINyAND, ÚwÚ and MIRANDA 

PWOSPEWO. ;;w;; If UwU I uWu have ^w^ too :3 austewewy punyish'd UwU you, 
uWu Youw ^-^ compensation x3 makes amends; fow 
:3 Have UwU given xDD you OwO hewe :3 a thiwd of >_< minye UwU own :3 wife, 
:33 Ow :3 that fow which UwU I ÚwÚ wive; who >_> once again 
UwU I xDD tendew to >w< thy >w< hand. All >w< thy ;;w;; vexations 
^.^ Wewe >_> but x3 my uWu twiaws of >w< thy xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and xDD thou 
Hast OwO stwangewy :33 stood x3 the >_< test; UwU hewe, ^-^ afowe ^.^ heaven, 
UwU I ^-^ watify ÚwÚ this x3 my rich uWu gift. x3 O ^-^ Fewdinyand! 
Do nyot ;;w;; smiwe uWu at ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I boast her ^w^ off, 
For xDD thou shalt find ^.^ she xDD wiww outstwip aww >_< pwaise, 
xDD And >_< make >w< it UwU hawt x3 behind her. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve >w< it 
^w^ Against >w< an owacwe. 
PWOSPEWO. Then, >_< as x3 my :3 gift, ÚwÚ and ^.^ thinye UwU own >w< acquisition 
>_> Wowt'hiwy :33 puwchas'd, OwO take x3 my >w< daughtew. OwO But 
;;w;; If xDD thou dost bweak her virgin-knot >w< befowe 
All ;;w;; sanctimonyious uWu cewemonyies OwO may 
With full ÚwÚ and >w< howy ^-^ wite be >_> minyist'wed, 
No x3 sweet aspewsion UwU shaww x3 the heavens wet faww 
;;w;; To >_< make ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ contwact gwow; >_> but ^-^ bawwen hate, 
>_> Souw-ey'd OwO disdain, ÚwÚ and :33 discowd, UwU shaww ^w^ bestwew 
uWu The >w< unyion of x3 youw x3 bed with UwU weeds UwU so woathwy 
:33 That xDD you UwU shaww ^-^ hate >w< it xDD both. Therefore OwO take ^-^ heed, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ Hymen's >w< wamps UwU shaww >w< wight OwO you. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. ;;w;; As UwU I UwU hope 
For :33 quiet uWu days, >w< faiw ^w^ issue, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wong :3 wife, 
With xDD such wuv >_< as UwU 'tis now, x3 the >_< muwkiest ^.^ den, 
uWu The UwU most opportune pwace, x3 the stwong'st ^w^ suggestion 
Our >_> wowsew ^w^ genyius ^-^ can, UwU shaww >_< nyevew :3 mewt 
Mine honour x3 into x3 wust, to OwO take OwO away 
uWu The UwU edge of :3 that day's celebration, 
x3 When UwU I UwU shaww think ow x3 Phoebus' OwO steeds OwO awe foundew'd 
:33 Ow >w< Nyight :33 kept ^.^ chain'd below. 
PWOSPEWO. OwO Faiwwy >_> spoke. 
>_> Sit, >w< then, ÚwÚ and tawk with >w< hew; ^.^ she >_> is ^.^ thinye own. 
What, Awiew! x3 my >_< industwious uWu sewvant, Awiew! 

Entew uWu AWIEW 

ÚwÚ AWIEW. >_> What ^.^ wouwd x3 my x3 potent ÚwÚ mastew? :3 Hewe UwU I am. 
PWOSPEWO. ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ and >w< thy >w< meanyew ^w^ fewwows x3 youw >w< wast OwO sewvice 
Did ^-^ wowthiwy perform; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must use xDD you 
^w^ In xDD such anyothew ^.^ twick. Go ;;w;; bwing x3 the wabbwe, 
^w^ O'ew ÚwÚ whom UwU I UwU give uWu thee pow'r, OwO hewe to ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. 
x3 Incite them to ^w^ quick >w< motion; fow UwU I ^w^ must 
Bestow ;;w;; upon x3 the eyes of ÚwÚ this xDD young coupwe 
;;w;; Some vanyity of >_< minye awt; >w< it >_> is x3 my ;;w;; pwomise, 
xDD And ;;w;; they >_< expect >w< it from x3 me. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. x3 Pwesentwy? 
PWOSPEWO. Ay, with :3 a ^-^ twink. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ^.^ Befowe xDD you ^.^ can >_> say ^w^ 'come' ÚwÚ and :33 'go,' 
xDD And ;;w;; bweathe twice, ÚwÚ and cwy 'so, :3 so,' 
x3 Each one, ;;w;; twipping on :33 his toe, 
Will be OwO hewe with :3 mop ÚwÚ and uWu mow. 
Do xDD you wuv uWu me, ÚwÚ mastew? uWu Nyo? 
PWOSPEWO. Dearly, x3 my xDD dewicate Ariel. Do nyot appwoach 
Tiww xDD thou dost hear ;;w;; me :33 caww. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Well! UwU I x3 conceive. uWu Exit 
PWOSPEWO. Wook xDD thou be true; UwU do nyot UwU give ^-^ dawwiance 
Too much x3 the rein; x3 the OwO stwongest >w< oaths OwO awe >w< stwaw 
;;w;; To x3 th' fire :33 i' x3 th' blood. ^w^ Be ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ abstemious, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ÚwÚ good >w< nyight x3 youw vow! 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
uWu The ^-^ white UwU cowd ;;w;; viwgin >w< snyow ;;w;; upon x3 my >_< heawt 
UwU Abates x3 the xDD awdouw of x3 my liver. 
PWOSPEWO. Well! 
Now come, x3 my ;;w;; Awiew, ;;w;; bwing :3 a corollary, 
Rather than ^.^ want :3 a uWu spiwit; ^.^ appeaw, ÚwÚ and OwO pewtwy. 
No >_< tongue! All xDD eyes! ^w^ Be ^-^ siwent. [Soft music] 

Entew IRIS 

>w< IWIS. >w< Cewes, UwU most ^.^ bounteous UwU wady, >w< thy rich leas 
Of ÚwÚ wheat, UwU wye, >_> bawwey, OwO vetches, uWu oats, ÚwÚ and :33 pease; 
x3 Thy >w< tuwfy >_< mountains, :3 whewe ^w^ wive >_< nyibbwing ;;w;; sheep, 
xDD And flat :33 meads >w< thatch'd with ^w^ stuvw, them to UwU keep; 
x3 Thy uWu banks with :3 pionyed ÚwÚ and >w< twiwwed ^w^ bwims, 
>_< Which >_< spongy ;;w;; Apwiw uWu at >w< thy hest betwims, 
;;w;; To >_< make UwU cowd :3 nymphs >w< chaste cwowns; ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_> bwoom gwuvs, 
>_< Whose :3 shadow x3 the :3 dismissed >w< bachewow wuvs, 
uWu Being wass-wown; >w< thy pole-clipt vineyard; 
xDD And >w< thy :33 sea-mawge, sterile ÚwÚ and rocky hawd, 
Whewe xDD thou >w< thysewf dost >_> aiw-the xDD Queen ^.^ o' x3 th' :3 sky, 
>_< Whose ^.^ wat'wy ^-^ awch ÚwÚ and :3 messengew ^w^ am I, 
:3 Bids uWu thee OwO weave :3 these; ÚwÚ and with her suvweign gwace, 
:3 Hewe on ÚwÚ this gwass-pwot, uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD vewy pwace, 
;;w;; To come ÚwÚ and ;;w;; spowt. :3 Hew xDD peacocks fwy amain. 
[JUNyO ^.^ descends uWu in her x3 caw] 
uWu Appwoach, rich >w< Cewes, her to entertain. 

Entew OwO CEWES 

CERES. >w< Haiw, uWu many-cowouwed ^w^ messengew, :3 that ^w^ nye'ew 
uWu Dost :33 disobey x3 the >w< wife of Jupiter; 
UwU Who, with >w< thy x3 saffwon wings, ;;w;; upon x3 my flow'rs 
^w^ Diffusest honey ÚwÚ dwops, x3 wefweshing show'ws; 
xDD And with >_< each >w< end of >w< thy blue bow dost >_< cwown 
OwO My OwO bosky acres ÚwÚ and x3 my unshrubb'd ;;w;; down, 
Wich scarf to x3 my OwO pwoud OwO eawth-why hath >w< thy xDD Queen 
x3 Summon'd ;;w;; me ÚwÚ hithew to ÚwÚ this showt-gwass'd green? 
>w< IWIS. ^-^ A ÚwÚ contwact of true wuv to celebrate, 
xDD And x3 some donyation freely to estate 
On x3 the bwest ;;w;; wuvws. 
CERES. Teww uWu me, ^-^ heavenwy UwU bow, 
;;w;; If :3 Venyus ow her x3 son, >_< as xDD thou dost knyow, 
Do nyow >_< attend x3 the Queen? Since ;;w;; they uWu did :3 pwot 
uWu The means :3 that ÚwÚ dusky ^.^ Dis x3 my daughter OwO got, 
:3 Hew ÚwÚ and her ^w^ bwind boy's scandal'd >_< company 
UwU I uWu have forsworn. 
>w< IWIS. Of her >w< society 
^w^ Be nyot afraid. UwU I >w< met her :33 Deity 
uWu Cutting x3 the :33 cwouds uWu towawds ;;w;; Paphos, ÚwÚ and her >_< son 
xDD Duv-dwawn with her. :3 Hewe xDD thought ;;w;; they to uWu have donye 
;;w;; Some >_< wanton >_> chawm ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this x3 man ÚwÚ and ;;w;; maid, 
>_< Whose x3 vows OwO awe :3 that nyo ^w^ bed-wite UwU shaww be paid 
Tiww ÚwÚ Hymen's :33 towch be xDD wighted; >_> but uWu in OwO vain. 
Maws's :3 hot uWu minyion >_> is wetuwn'd again; 
:3 Hew x3 waspish-headed >_< son >_> has broke :33 his awwows, 
UwU Sweaws ^.^ he xDD wiww >w< shoot nyo >_> mowe, >_> but :33 pway with spawwows, 
xDD And be :3 a ;;w;; boy >w< wight OwO out. [JUNyO UwU awights] 
CERES. :33 Highest xDD Queen of ^-^ State, 
UwU Gweat >_< Junyo, ;;w;; comes; UwU I ^.^ knyow her ^.^ by her gait. 
JUNyO. How does x3 my ^.^ bounteous ^-^ sistew? Go with ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ this twain, :3 that ;;w;; they OwO may :33 pwospewous be, 
xDD And :3 honyouw'd uWu in uWu theiw UwU issue. ^w^ [They sing] 
JUNyO. Honour, ÚwÚ wiches, ;;w;; mawwiage-bwessing, 
OwO Wong continyuance, ÚwÚ and incweasing, 
:3 Houwwy joys be still ;;w;; upon you! 
>_> Junyo ^-^ sings her bwessings on OwO you. 
CERES. Eawth's UwU incwease, ÚwÚ foison OwO pwenty, 
;;w;; Bawns ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ gamews >_< nyevew >w< empty; 
UwU Vinyes with >w< cwust'wing bunches UwU gwowing, 
OwO Pwants with xDD goodwy buwden ^-^ bowing; 
Spwing come to xDD you uWu at x3 the ^.^ fawthest, 
^w^ In x3 the xDD vewy >w< end of hawvest! 
Scawcity ÚwÚ and ^.^ want UwU shaww UwU shun UwU you, 
Cewes' >_> bwessing UwU so >_> is on OwO you. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. This >_> is :3 a UwU most :3 majestic xDD vision, ÚwÚ and 
Hawmonyious >_> chawmingwy. ^-^ May UwU I be bold 
;;w;; To think these x3 spiwits? 
PWOSPEWO. Spiwits, which ^.^ by >_< minye awt 
UwU I uWu have from uWu theiw confines ^w^ caww'd to >_< enyact 
OwO My xDD pwesent ^w^ fancies. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. Let ;;w;; me ^w^ wive OwO hewe evew; 
^w^ So OwO wawe :3 a x3 wond'wed >w< fathew ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu wise 
:3 Makes ÚwÚ this :33 pwace xDD Pawadise. 
[JUNyO ÚwÚ and OwO CEWES UwU whispew, ÚwÚ and >_> send IRIS on empwoyment] 
PWOSPEWO. ÚwÚ Sweet now, OwO siwence; 
>_> Junyo ÚwÚ and >w< Cewes whisper ^.^ sewiouswy. 
>_> Thewe's ^-^ something >_> ewse to do; >_< hush, ÚwÚ and be xDD mute, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse UwU ouw speww >_> is marr'd. 
>w< IWIS. >_> You xDD nymphs, ^w^ caww'd Nyaiads, of x3 the wind'wing :33 bwooks, 
With x3 youw :3 sedg'd :3 cwowns ÚwÚ and OwO evew UwU hawmwess looks, 
Weave x3 youw ^.^ cwisp channels, ÚwÚ and on ÚwÚ this green ÚwÚ wand 
Answer x3 youw summons; >_> Junyo does >_> command. 
^.^ Come, ^w^ tempewate xDD nymphs, ÚwÚ and OwO hewp to cewebwate 
^-^ A ÚwÚ contwact of true love; be nyot ^w^ too UwU wate. 

Entew xDD cewtain x3 NYMPHS 

>_> You >w< sun-buwnt sickwemen, of August OwO weawy, 
:3 Come ÚwÚ hithew from x3 the ^w^ fuwwow, ÚwÚ and be ;;w;; mewwy; 
^-^ Make holiday; x3 youw OwO wye-stwaw ÚwÚ hats put ;;w;; on, 
xDD And these >w< fwesh :3 nymphs x3 encountew every one 
^w^ In countwy footing. 

Entew xDD cewtain REAPERS, ;;w;; pwopewwy >_> habited; ;;w;; they ^w^ join 
with x3 the x3 NYMPHS uWu in :3 a ^.^ gwacefuw dance; uWu towawds x3 the 
>w< end xDD wheweof :33 PWOSPEWO starts suddenly, ÚwÚ and speaks, 
ÚwÚ aftew ^w^ which, to :3 a >_> stwange, hollow, ÚwÚ and ^-^ confused 
noise, ;;w;; they >_> heaviwy :3 vanyish 

PWOSPEWO. :3 [Aside] UwU I xDD had fowgot :3 that fouw conspiracy 
Of x3 the beast uWu Cawiban ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 confedewates 
^w^ Against x3 my :33 wife; x3 the minyute of uWu theiw :3 pwot 
Is almost x3 come. :33 [To x3 the SPIWITS] Weww donye; avoid; nyo 
uWu mowe! 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. This >_> is :3 stwange; x3 youw father's uWu in x3 some passion 
:33 That wowks ^.^ him stwongwy. 
MIWANDA. xDD Nyevew >w< tiww ÚwÚ this day 
^.^ Saw UwU I ^.^ him touch'd with ÚwÚ angew UwU so distemper'd. 
PWOSPEWO. >_> You UwU do look, x3 my x3 son, uWu in :3 a x3 mov'd sort, 
;;w;; As >_> if xDD you :3 wewe ÚwÚ dismay'd; be OwO cheewfuw, sir. 
Our :3 wevews nyow OwO awe ended. ;;w;; These UwU ouw actors, 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU fowetowd UwU you, :3 wewe aww ^.^ spiwits, ÚwÚ and 
^w^ Awe mewted x3 into air, x3 into >_< thin air; 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike x3 the basewess fabric of ÚwÚ this xDD vision, 
uWu The cwoud-capp'd UwU towews, x3 the gowgeous pawaces, 
uWu The solemn ^w^ tempwes, x3 the great globe itself, 
Yea, aww which >w< it OwO inhewit, UwU shaww >w< dissowve, 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this insubstantiaw pageant uWu faded, 
Weave nyot :3 a ^.^ wack behind. We OwO awe xDD such ^w^ stuff 
;;w;; As x3 dweams OwO awe UwU made xDD on; ÚwÚ and UwU ouw xDD wittwe >w< wife 
Is wounded with :3 a OwO sweep. UwU Siw, UwU I ^w^ am >_> vex'd; 
ÚwÚ Beaw with x3 my ÚwÚ weaknyess; x3 my ;;w;; owd :3 bwain >_> is troubled; 
^w^ Be nyot distuwb'd with x3 my infiwmity. 
;;w;; If xDD you be >_< pweas'd, uWu wetiwe x3 into x3 my cell 
xDD And there ^.^ wepose; :3 a turn ow >w< two I'll UwU wawk 
;;w;; To still x3 my beating :33 mind. 
OwO FEWDINyAND, MIWANDA. We ÚwÚ wish x3 youw peace. Exeunt 
PWOSPEWO. ^.^ Come, with :3 a thought. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, Ariel; x3 come. 

Entew uWu AWIEW 

ÚwÚ AWIEW. x3 Thy >_< thoughts UwU I ÚwÚ cweave ;;w;; to. x3 What's >w< thy pweasuwe? 
PWOSPEWO. :33 Spiwit, 
We ^w^ must >_> pwepawe to :3 meet with >w< Cawiban. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Ay, x3 my commander. x3 When UwU I pwesented >_> 'Cewes.' 
UwU I xDD thought to uWu have told uWu thee of uWu it; >_> but UwU I feaw'd 
Lest UwU I ^w^ might ÚwÚ angew thee. 
PWOSPEWO. x3 Say OwO again, :3 whewe :33 didst xDD thou OwO weave these OwO vawwets? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. UwU I told UwU you, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; they :3 wewe xDD wed-hot with drinking; 
^w^ So full of valour :3 that ;;w;; they xDD smote x3 the ^w^ aiw 
For :33 bweathing uWu in uWu theiw ^w^ faces; xDD beat x3 the x3 gwound 
For xDD kissing of uWu theiw feet; yet awways x3 bending 
Towards uWu theiw ^w^ pwoject. UwU Then UwU I xDD beat x3 my >_> tabow, 
At which ^.^ wike :3 unback'd ^w^ cowts ;;w;; they pwick'd uWu theiw ;;w;; eaws, 
ÚwÚ Advanc'd uWu theiw xDD eyewids, wifted x3 up uWu theiw :33 nyoses 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they >_< smewt >_> music; UwU so UwU I chawm'd uWu theiw cars, 
:33 That cawf-wike ;;w;; they x3 my ^.^ wowing follow'd ^w^ thwough 
^-^ Tooth'd bwiews, ^-^ shawp OwO fuwzes, pricking ÚwÚ goss, ÚwÚ and thowns, 
>_< Which ^w^ ent'wed uWu theiw frail ^.^ shins. At >w< wast UwU I left them 
xDD I' x3 th' :33 fiwthy mantwed >_> poow ^w^ beyond x3 youw cell, 
>_> Thewe UwU dancing x3 up to x3 th' UwU chins, :3 that x3 the fouw wake 
^-^ O'ewstunk uWu theiw xDD feet. 
PWOSPEWO. This UwU was weww :33 donye, x3 my xDD biwd. 
x3 Thy xDD shape invisible ^.^ wetain xDD thou xDD stiww. 
uWu The OwO twumpewy uWu in x3 my house, OwO go ;;w;; bwing >w< it ÚwÚ hithew 
For ÚwÚ stawe to catch these >_< thieves. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. UwU I x3 go, UwU I ÚwÚ go. uWu Exit 
PWOSPEWO. ^-^ A deviw, :3 a bown deviw, on x3 whose ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
uWu Nyuwtuwe ^.^ can >_< nyevew UwU stick; on ÚwÚ whom x3 my pains, 
>_> Humanyewy >_< taken, all, aww :3 wost, quite ^.^ wost; 
xDD And >_< as with age :33 his >w< body xDD ugwiew >_> gwows, 
^w^ So :33 his ^-^ mind cankews. UwU I xDD wiww pwague them all, 
Even to x3 woawing. 

^.^ We-entew ARIEL, ^w^ woaden with gwistewing ^w^ appawew, &c. 

^.^ Come, ^w^ hang them on ÚwÚ this ^.^ winye. 
[PWOSPEWO ÚwÚ and uWu AWIEW >_< wemain, uWu invisibwe] 

Entew CALIBAN, OwO STEPHANyO, ÚwÚ and TRINCULO, aww wet 

CALIBAN. >_> Pway UwU you, ;;w;; twead softly, :3 that x3 the ^w^ bwind ^.^ mowe OwO may nyot 
>w< Heaw :3 a :33 foot uWu faww; ^.^ we nyow OwO awe nyeaw :33 his >w< ceww. 
STEPHANO. Monstew, x3 youw >_> faiwy, which xDD you >_> say >_> is :3 a UwU hawmwess 
>_> faiwy, >_> has donye xDD wittwe xDD bettew than pway'd x3 the x3 Jack with >_> us. 
:3 TWINCUWO. Monstew, UwU I UwU do smell aww howse-piss uWu at which x3 my 
x3 nyose >_> is uWu in great xDD indignyation. 
STEPHANO. ^w^ So >_> is ^w^ minye. Do xDD you heaw, monstew? ;;w;; If UwU I >_> shouwd 
OwO take :3 a >_< dispweasuwe OwO against UwU you, wook :3 you- 
:3 TWINCUWO. ^.^ Thou OwO wewt >_> but :3 a wost ^.^ monstew. 
CALIBAN. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, UwU give ;;w;; me >w< thy ^.^ favouw xDD stiww. 
^w^ Be *giggles shyly* patient, fow x3 the >w< pwize I'll ;;w;; bwing uWu thee to 
Shall >_< hoodwink ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ mischance; >_< thewefowe speak ^w^ softwy. 
^-^ Aww's UwU hush'd >_< as ;;w;; midnyight >_> yet. 
:3 TWINCUWO. Ay, >_> but to wose UwU ouw bottles uWu in x3 the pool! 
STEPHANO. >_> Thewe >_> is nyot >w< onwy xDD disgwace ÚwÚ and x3 dishonyouw uWu in 
:3 that, monster, >_> but >w< an :3 infinyite loss. 
:3 TWINCUWO. >w< That's ^.^ mowe to ;;w;; me than x3 my :33 wetting; yet ÚwÚ this >_> is 
x3 youw UwU hawmwess >_> faiwy, ^.^ monstew. 
STEPHANO. UwU I xDD wiww :3 fetch x3 off x3 my >_> bottwe, ^w^ though UwU I be ^-^ o'ew 
OwO eaws fow x3 my uWu wabouw. 
CALIBAN. Prithee, x3 my OwO king, be ÚwÚ quiet. OwO Seest xDD thou UwU hewe, 
This >_> is x3 the xDD mouth ^.^ o' x3 th' cell; nyo noise, ÚwÚ and enter. 
Do :3 that ÚwÚ good ^-^ mischief which OwO may >_< make ÚwÚ this >_< iswand 
OwO Thinye UwU own fow ever, ÚwÚ and I, >w< thy >_< Cawiban, 
For ^.^ aye >w< thy foot-wickew. 
STEPHANO. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. UwU I UwU do x3 begin to uWu have bwoody 
>w< thoughts. 
:3 TWINCUWO. x3 O ^w^ King ^w^ Stephanyo! x3 O OwO peew! x3 O ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ Stephanyo! 
Wook >_> what :3 a wardrobe OwO hewe >_> is fow uWu thee! 
CALIBAN. Let >w< it ^-^ awonye, xDD thou foow; >w< it >_> is >_> but xDD twash. 
:3 TWINCUWO. >_< O, :3 ho, ÚwÚ monstew; ^.^ we ^.^ knyow >_> what ^-^ bewongs to :3 a 
x3 fwippewy. x3 O ^w^ King ^w^ Stephanyo! 
STEPHANO. >_> Put x3 off :3 that x3 gown, UwU Twincuwo; ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu hand, I'll 
uWu have :3 that xDD gown. 
:3 TWINCUWO. x3 Thy Gwace UwU shaww uWu have :3 it. 
CALIBAN. uWu The dwopsy x3 dwown ÚwÚ this foow! >_> What UwU do xDD you >_> mean 
;;w;; To >_> dote OwO thus on xDD such wuggage? Let 't ^-^ awonye, 
xDD And UwU do x3 the murder fiwst. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >w< awake, 
Fwom toe to >_< cwown he'ww ^w^ fiww UwU ouw ÚwÚ skins with ^w^ pinches; 
^-^ Make >_> us ;;w;; stwange ;;w;; stuff. 
STEPHANO. ^w^ Be xDD you ^w^ quiet, ^.^ monstew. Mistress xDD winye, >_> is nyot 
ÚwÚ this x3 my jewkin? Now >_> is x3 the x3 jewkin :33 undew x3 the ^w^ winye; now, 
^-^ jewkin, xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wike to wose x3 youw hair, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwuv :3 a ;;w;; bawd 
:33 jewkin. 
:3 TWINCUWO. UwU Do, xDD do. We ^.^ steaw ^.^ by winye ÚwÚ and UwU wevew, UwU an't ^.^ wike 
x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
STEPHANO. UwU I >_> thank uWu thee fow :3 that >_> jest; hewe's :3 a ^.^ gawment 
xDD fow't. Wit UwU shaww nyot OwO go >_< unwewawded OwO whiwe UwU I ^w^ am x3 king of 
ÚwÚ this country. 'Steaw ^.^ by winye ÚwÚ and >_< wevew' >_> is >w< an :3 excewwent 
pass of OwO pate; there's anyothew garmet xDD fow't. 
:3 TWINCUWO. Monstew, come, put x3 some wime ;;w;; upon x3 youw ^-^ fingews, 
ÚwÚ and OwO away with x3 the rest. 
CALIBAN. UwU I xDD wiww uWu have >_< nyonye ^.^ on't. We UwU shaww wose UwU ouw time, 
xDD And aww be >_> tuwn'd to >_< bawnyacwes, ow to >_< apes 
With >_< foweheads ÚwÚ viwwainyous wow. 
STEPHANO. Monstew, ;;w;; way-to x3 youw x3 fingews; OwO hewp to UwU beaw ÚwÚ this 
OwO away :3 whewe x3 my x3 hogshead of winye ;;w;; is, ow I'll turn xDD you x3 out 
of x3 my >_> kingdom. Go ^.^ to, carry UwU this. 
:3 TWINCUWO. xDD And UwU this. 
STEPHANO. Ay, ÚwÚ and UwU this. 

^-^ A noise of huntews :3 beawd. Entew divers SPIWITS, uWu in 
xDD shape of ^.^ dogs ÚwÚ and uWu hounds, :33 bunting them >_> about; 
:33 PWOSPEWO ÚwÚ and uWu AWIEW >w< setting them on 

PWOSPEWO. ;;w;; Hey, Mountain, >_> hey! 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Silver! there >w< it :33 goes, Silver! 
PWOSPEWO. OwO Fuwy, Fuwy! There, ÚwÚ Tywant, thewe! Hawk, x3 hawk! 
[CAWIBAN, OwO STEPHANyO, ÚwÚ and TRINCULO OwO awe driven out] 
Go :3 chawge x3 my gobwins :3 that ;;w;; they grind uWu theiw xDD joints 
With xDD dwy convulsions, showten x3 up uWu theiw sinews 
With ^-^ aged ;;w;; cwamps, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe pinch-spotted >_< make them 
Than pawd ow :33 cat ^.^ o' x3 mountain. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Hawk, ;;w;; they >w< woaw. 
PWOSPEWO. Let them be ^w^ hunted soundly. At ÚwÚ this >_> houw 
Lies uWu at x3 my xDD mewcy aww >_< minye enemies. 
^.^ Showtwy UwU shaww aww x3 my uWu wabouws ^w^ end, ÚwÚ and xDD thou 
>_> Shawt uWu have x3 the ^w^ aiw uWu at x3 fweedom; fow :3 a xDD wittwe 
ÚwÚ Fowwow, ÚwÚ and UwU do ;;w;; me service. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 1 

^.^ Befowe >_> PWOSPEWO'S cell 

Entew :33 PWOSPEWO uWu in :33 his >w< magic wobes, ÚwÚ and uWu AWIEW 

PWOSPEWO. Now does x3 my UwU pwoject gathew to :3 a head; 
OwO My chawms UwU cwack >_> nyot, x3 my ;;w;; spiwits obey; ÚwÚ and time 
x3 Goes ^w^ upwight with :33 his *twerks* cawwiage. How's x3 the >w< day? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. On x3 the uWu sixth houw; uWu at which time, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> You uWu said UwU ouw ^.^ wowk >_> shouwd >_> cease. 
PWOSPEWO. UwU I uWu did >_> say >_> so, 
x3 When xDD fiwst UwU I >_> wais'd x3 the ;;w;; tempest. Say, x3 my ^-^ spiwit, 
How fawes x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and ^-^ 's :33 fowwowews? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Confin'd togethew 
^w^ In x3 the same fashion >_< as xDD you uWu gave uWu in chawge; 
;;w;; Just >_< as xDD you left OwO them; aww pwisonyews, ^w^ siw, 
^w^ In x3 the line-grove which >w< weathew-fends x3 youw cell; 
^-^ They ;;w;; cannyot :3 budge >w< tiww x3 youw :3 wewease. uWu The OwO King, 
ÚwÚ His brother, ÚwÚ and >_< youws, abide aww >w< thwee distwacted, 
xDD And x3 the ^.^ wemaindew >w< mouwnying uvw ÚwÚ them, 
Bwim full of sorrow ÚwÚ and ^-^ dismay; >_> but ^.^ chiefwy 
xDD Him xDD you ;;w;; tewm'd, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ 'the ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd uWu wowd, Gonzawo'; 
ÚwÚ His tears >w< wun down :33 his UwU beawd, ^.^ wike winter's ^.^ dwops 
Fwom ^.^ eaves of reeds. uWu Youw >_> chawm UwU so >_< stwongwy wowks x3 'em 
:33 That >_> if xDD you nyow beheld them x3 youw affections 
Wouwd :33 become tendew. 
PWOSPEWO. uWu Dost xDD thou think >_> so, spiwit? 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. Mine :3 wouwd, ^w^ siw, :3 wewe UwU I human. 
PWOSPEWO. xDD And >_< minye >_< shaww. 
Hast UwU thou, which awt >_> but air, :3 a xDD touch, :3 a :33 feewing 
Of uWu theiw UwU affwictions, ÚwÚ and UwU shaww nyot myself, 
x3 Onye of uWu theiw ;;w;; kind, :3 that wewish aww >_< as shawpwy, 
:3 Passion >_< as >w< they, be OwO kindwiew x3 mov'd than xDD thou awt? 
;;w;; Though with uWu theiw xDD high >_< wwongs UwU I ^w^ am >w< stwuck to x3 th' quick, 
ÚwÚ Yet with x3 my >w< nyobwew reason uWu 'gainst x3 my UwU fuwy 
Do UwU I OwO take ^w^ pawt; x3 the ;;w;; wawew uWu action >_> is 
^w^ In viwtue than uWu in uWu vengeance; ;;w;; they ^.^ being penitent, 
uWu The sole dwift of x3 my OwO puwpose xDD doth :3 extend 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a fwown fuwthew. Go wewease ÚwÚ them, Ariel; 
OwO My chawms I'll break, uWu theiw :33 senses I'll ;;w;; westowe, 
xDD And ;;w;; they UwU shaww be x3 themsewves. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. I'll :3 fetch ÚwÚ them, sir. uWu Exit 
PWOSPEWO. ^-^ Ye OwO ewves of ;;w;; hiwws, :33 bwooks, >_< standing wakes, ÚwÚ and 
^-^ gwuvs; 
xDD And OwO ye :3 that on x3 the UwU sands with :33 pwintwess :33 foot 
Do OwO chase x3 the UwU ebbing Neptune, ÚwÚ and UwU do fwy ^.^ him 
x3 When ^.^ he x3 comes back; xDD you ÚwÚ demi-puppets :3 that 
^-^ By uWu moonshinye UwU do x3 the green :3 souw ringlets ;;w;; make, 
:3 Wheweof x3 the ewe nyot xDD bites; ÚwÚ and xDD you x3 whose >w< pastime 
Is to >_< make ;;w;; midnyight mushwooms, :3 that rejoice 
;;w;; To hear x3 the solemn ^-^ cuwfew; ^.^ by x3 whose UwU aid- 
>_> Weak >w< mastews ^w^ though OwO ye be-I uWu have >w< be-dimm'd 
uWu The UwU nyoontide sun, ^w^ caww'd fowth x3 the mutinyous winds, 
xDD And 'twixt x3 the green sea ÚwÚ and x3 the azuw'd >_< vauwt 
Set xDD woawing waw. ;;w;; To x3 the xDD dwead >_> wattwing >_> thundew 
:3 Have UwU I UwU given ^w^ fiwe, ÚwÚ and wifted Juv's :33 stout ÚwÚ oak 
With :33 his UwU own >_> bowt; x3 the ÚwÚ stwong-bas'd ^w^ pwomontowy 
:3 Have UwU I UwU made ;;w;; shake, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 the :33 spuws ^w^ pwuck'd x3 up 
uWu The pine ÚwÚ and uWu cedaw. ÚwÚ Gwaves uWu at x3 my ÚwÚ command 
:3 Have >_< wak'd uWu theiw >_> sweepews, ^-^ op'd, ÚwÚ and wet x3 'em ^-^ fowth, 
^-^ By x3 my UwU so x3 potent art. OwO But ÚwÚ this OwO wough >w< magic 
UwU I OwO hewe abjure; x3 and, when UwU I uWu have requir'd 
;;w;; Some ^-^ heavenwy ^.^ music-which even nyow UwU I xDD do- 
;;w;; To ^.^ wowk >_< minye >w< end ;;w;; upon uWu theiw :33 senses :3 that 
This airy >_> chawm >_> is for, I'll bweak x3 my staff, 
^.^ Buwy >w< it xDD cewtain ;;w;; fathoms uWu in x3 the earth, 
xDD And deeper than uWu did OwO evew xDD pwummet >_> sound 
I'll x3 dwown x3 my uWu book. :33 [Sowem music] 

:3 Hewe ;;w;; entews uWu AWIEW befowe; xDD then ^.^ AWONSO, with 
frantic ^w^ gestuwe, ^w^ attended ^.^ by >w< GONZAWO; x3 SEBASTIAN 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ ANTONyIO uWu in ^.^ wike manner, ^w^ attended ^.^ by ADRIAN 
ÚwÚ and xDD FWANCISCO. ^-^ They aww enter x3 the xDD ciwcwe which 
:33 PWOSPEWO xDD had made, ÚwÚ and there stand ^w^ chawm'd; which 
:33 PWOSPEWO x3 obsewving, xDD speaks 

^-^ A solemn air, ÚwÚ and x3 the best comforter 
;;w;; To >w< an unsettled >_> fancy, >w< cuwe >w< thy uWu bwains, 
Now ^-^ usewess, ÚwÚ boiw'd within >w< thy :33 skuww! >_> Thewe x3 stand, 
For xDD you OwO awe >w< speww-stopp'd. 
Holy Gonzalo, ^.^ honyouwabwe ^w^ man, 
Mine ^w^ eyes, ev'n x3 sociabwe to x3 the x3 show of xDD thinye, 
Fall fellowly ^.^ dwops. uWu The >_> chawm :33 dissowves xDD apace, 
xDD And >_< as x3 the mownying steals ;;w;; upon x3 the night, 
x3 Mewting x3 the ^-^ dawknyess, UwU so uWu theiw ;;w;; wising :33 senses 
Begin to OwO chase x3 the ÚwÚ ignyowant ^w^ fumes :3 that ^-^ mantwe 
^-^ Theiw cweawew reason. x3 O ÚwÚ good Gonzalo, 
OwO My true pwesewvew, ÚwÚ and :3 a loyal ^w^ siw 
;;w;; To ^.^ him xDD thou fowwow'st! UwU I xDD wiww x3 pay >w< thy uWu gwaces 
x3 Home both uWu in ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and UwU deed. :3 Most ;;w;; cwuewwy 
;;w;; Didst UwU thou, Alonso, use ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 my ;;w;; daughtew; 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ bwothew UwU was :3 a >_< fuwthewew uWu in x3 the act. 
^.^ Thou awt ;;w;; pinch'd for't now, >w< Sebastian. >w< Fwesh ÚwÚ and bwood, 
>_< You, ÚwÚ bwothew >_> minye, :3 that entertain'd ambition, 
OwO Expeww'd ^-^ wemowse ÚwÚ and nyatuwe, who, with ÚwÚ Sebastian- 
>_< Whose inward pinches >_< thewefowe OwO awe UwU most x3 stwong- 
Wouwd OwO hewe uWu have kill'd x3 youw OwO king, UwU I UwU do :33 fowgive ÚwÚ thee, 
Unnyatuwaw ^w^ though xDD thou art. ^-^ Theiw undewstanding 
UwU Begins to sweww, ÚwÚ and x3 the approaching >_< tide 
Will x3 showtwy ^w^ fiww x3 the ^.^ weasonyabwe >w< showe 
:33 That nyow wies fouw ÚwÚ and uWu muddy. ÚwÚ Nyot one of them 
:33 That yet :33 wooks on uWu me, ow ^.^ wouwd ^.^ knyow x3 me. ;;w;; Awiew, 
^-^ Fetch ;;w;; me x3 the ^w^ hat ÚwÚ and rapier uWu in x3 my cell; uWu Exit uWu AWIEW 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> discase uWu me, ÚwÚ and mysewf xDD pwesent 
;;w;; As UwU I UwU was ÚwÚ sometime Milan. Quickly, ^w^ spiwit 
^.^ Thou shalt ere ^-^ wong be >w< fwee. 

ARIEL, on UwU wetuwnying, ^-^ sings ÚwÚ and helps to attiwe ^.^ him 

Whewe x3 the >w< bee sucks, there uWu suck x3 I; 
^w^ In :3 a cowslip's beww UwU I wie; 
>_> Thewe UwU I UwU couch when :3 owws UwU do ^-^ cwy. 
On x3 the uWu bat's back UwU I UwU do fwy 
>w< Aftew ^-^ summew merrily. 
>w< Mewwiwy, ÚwÚ mewwiwy UwU shaww UwU I ^w^ wive nyow 
;;w;; Undew x3 the :3 bwossom :3 that uWu hangs on x3 the ^.^ bough. 

PWOSPEWO. Why, ^w^ that's x3 my UwU dainty Awiew! UwU I UwU shaww ;;w;; miss ÚwÚ thee; 
OwO But yet xDD thou shalt uWu have freedom. So, >_> so, :3 so. 
;;w;; To x3 the >_< King's ship, invisible >_< as xDD thou awt; 
>_> Thewe shalt xDD thou find x3 the xDD mawinyews ;;w;; asweep 
;;w;; Undew x3 the UwU hatches; x3 the >_< mastew ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< boatswain 
uWu Being >w< awake, enforce them to ÚwÚ this pwace; 
xDD And pwesentwy, UwU I UwU pwithee. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. UwU I ÚwÚ dwink x3 the ^w^ aiw >w< befowe uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wetuwn 
:33 Ow ere x3 youw >_< puwse twice >w< beat. uWu Exit 
uWu GONZAWO. All torment, twoubwe, wonder ÚwÚ and ^.^ amazement, 
^-^ Inhabits hewe. ;;w;; Some ^-^ heavenwy powew ^w^ guide >_> us 
UwU Out of ÚwÚ this x3 feawfuw :33 countwy! 
PWOSPEWO. UwU Behowd, Sir OwO King, 
uWu The ;;w;; wwonged >w< Duke of Milan, Prospero. 
For ^.^ mowe assurance :3 that :3 a UwU wiving >_> pwince 
ÚwÚ Does nyow speak to ÚwÚ thee, UwU I >_< embwace >w< thy >w< body; 
xDD And to uWu thee ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_< company UwU I bid 
^-^ A x3 heawty x3 wewcome. 
^-^ AWONSO. ÚwÚ Whe'ew xDD thou ÚwÚ be'st ^.^ he ow no, 
:33 Ow x3 some ^-^ enchanted xDD twifwe to abuse uWu me, 
;;w;; As wate UwU I uWu have ^-^ been, UwU I nyot :33 knyow. x3 Thy >_< puwse 
>w< Beats, >_< as of >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and ^-^ bwood; x3 and, xDD since UwU I saw ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD Th' >_> affwiction of x3 my ^-^ mind amends, with ^w^ which, 
UwU I ;;w;; feaw, :3 a ^-^ madnyess hewd x3 me. This ^w^ must ;;w;; cwave- 
^-^ An >_> if ÚwÚ this be uWu at x3 aww-a UwU most ;;w;; stwange ;;w;; stowy. 
x3 Thy x3 dukedom UwU I >_< wesign, ÚwÚ and UwU do entweat 
^.^ Thou UwU pawdon ;;w;; me x3 my x3 wwongs. OwO But >w< how >_> shouwd Pwospewo 
^w^ Be UwU wiving ÚwÚ and be hewe? 
PWOSPEWO. ^.^ Fiwst, x3 nyobwe fwiend, 
Let ;;w;; me >_< embwace ^.^ thinye age, x3 whose honour ;;w;; cannyot 
^w^ Be UwU measuw'd ow ;;w;; confin'd. 
uWu GONZAWO. Whethew ÚwÚ this be 
:33 Ow be >_> nyot, I'll nyot OwO sweaw. 
PWOSPEWO. >_> You UwU do yet >_> taste 
;;w;; Some OwO subtweties ^.^ o' x3 th' isle, :3 that xDD wiww nyot wet xDD you 
:3 Bewieve ^.^ things cewtain. Welcome, x3 my ^w^ fwiends :33 aww! 
^-^ [Aside to x3 SEBASTIAN ÚwÚ and UwU ANTONyIO] OwO But UwU you, x3 my ;;w;; bwace of 
wowds, :3 wewe UwU I UwU so UwU minded, 
UwU I OwO hewe couwd pluck :33 his Highness' fwown ;;w;; upon UwU you, 
xDD And justify xDD you :33 twaitows; uWu at ÚwÚ this time 
UwU I xDD wiww tell nyo ^-^ tawes. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. :3 [Aside] uWu The ^.^ deviw xDD speaks uWu in ^.^ him. 
PWOSPEWO. No. 
For UwU you, UwU most wicked ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ whom to caww ÚwÚ bwothew 
Wouwd even ÚwÚ infect x3 my uWu mouth, UwU I UwU do :33 fowgive 
x3 Thy rankest fauwt-aww of OwO them; ÚwÚ and xDD wequiwe 
OwO My x3 dukedom of ÚwÚ thee, which ^.^ pewfowce UwU I ^.^ knyow 
^.^ Thou ^w^ must >w< westowe. 
^-^ AWONSO. ;;w;; If xDD thou UwU beest >_> Pwospewo, 
Give >_> us pawticuwaws of >w< thy uWu pwesewvation; 
How xDD thou x3 hast >w< met >_> us UwU hewe, ÚwÚ whom >w< thwee >_> houws xDD since 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ wweck'd ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this shore; :3 whewe UwU I uWu have xDD wost- 
How ^-^ shawp x3 the :33 point of ÚwÚ this wemembwance x3 is!- 
OwO My uWu deaw >_< son ;;w;; Fewdinyand. 
PWOSPEWO. UwU I ^w^ am woe x3 fow't, sir. 
^-^ AWONSO. x3 Iwwepawabwe >_> is x3 the loss; ÚwÚ and uWu patience 
^w^ Says >w< it >_> is x3 past her x3 cuwe. 
PWOSPEWO. UwU I rather think 
>_> You uWu have nyot >_< sought her hewp, of x3 whose soft xDD gwace 
For x3 the ^.^ wike ^-^ woss UwU I uWu have her suvweign ^w^ aid, 
xDD And xDD west mysewf OwO content. 
^-^ AWONSO. >_> You x3 the ^.^ wike ^w^ woss! 
PWOSPEWO. ;;w;; As great to ;;w;; me >_< as late; x3 and, suppowtabwe 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the uWu deaw woss, uWu have UwU I means much weaker 
Than xDD you OwO may caww to uWu comfowt UwU you, fow UwU I 
:3 Have wost x3 my >w< daughtew. 
^-^ AWONSO. ^-^ A daughter! 
x3 O >w< heavens, :3 that ;;w;; they :3 wewe UwU wiving both uWu in Naples, 
uWu The ^w^ King ÚwÚ and xDD Queen thewe! :33 That ;;w;; they uWu wewe, UwU I ÚwÚ wish 
xDD Mysewf :3 wewe xDD mudded uWu in :3 that UwU oozy x3 bed 
Whewe x3 my >_< son uWu wies. x3 When uWu did xDD you wose x3 youw daughter? 
PWOSPEWO. ^w^ In ÚwÚ this >w< wast ;;w;; tempest. UwU I >_> pewceive these wowds 
At ÚwÚ this x3 encountew UwU do UwU so much >_< admiwe 
:33 That ;;w;; they devour uWu theiw weason, ÚwÚ and scawce think 
^-^ Theiw eyes UwU do ;;w;; offices of truth, uWu theiw wowds 
^w^ Awe natural breath; but, howsoe'er xDD you uWu have 
:33 Been UwU justwed from x3 youw ^-^ senses, ^.^ knyow fow xDD cewtain 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am >_> Pwospewo, ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD vewy uWu duke 
>_< Which UwU was thwust fowth of :3 Miwan; who UwU most OwO stwangewy 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this >w< showe, :3 whewe xDD you :3 wewe wrecked, UwU was landed 
;;w;; To be x3 the ;;w;; wowd ^.^ on't. No ^.^ mowe yet of >_< this; 
For UwU 'tis :3 a chwonyicwe of day ^.^ by ^-^ day, 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a wewation fow :3 a >w< bweakfast, nor 
UwU Befitting ÚwÚ this xDD fiwst :3 meeting. Welcome, siw; 
This ceww's x3 my >_> couwt; OwO hewe uWu have UwU I x3 few uWu attendants, 
xDD And subjects >_< nyonye abwoad; pray UwU you, wook ^.^ in. 
OwO My x3 dukedom xDD since xDD you uWu have UwU given ;;w;; me OwO again, 
UwU I xDD wiww :3 wequite xDD you with >_< as ÚwÚ good :3 a >_> thing; 
At least ;;w;; bwing fowth :3 a OwO wondew, to :3 content OwO ye 
;;w;; As much >_< as ;;w;; me x3 my ÚwÚ dukedom. 

:3 Hewe :33 PWOSPEWO discovers FEWDINyAND ÚwÚ and :3 MIWANDA, 
:3 pwaying uWu at OwO chess 

MIWANDA. ÚwÚ Sweet uWu wowd, xDD you :33 pway ;;w;; me >w< fawse. 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. :3 Nyo, x3 my deawest xDD wuv, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot fow x3 the wowwd. 
MIWANDA. Yes, fow :3 a ÚwÚ scowe of OwO kingdoms xDD you >_> shouwd wrangle 
xDD And UwU I ^.^ wouwd caww >w< it >w< faiw play. 
^-^ AWONSO. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this ^-^ pwuv 
^-^ A xDD vision of x3 the island, one uWu deaw >_< son 
Shall UwU I twice uWu wose. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ A UwU most xDD high miracle! 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. ;;w;; Though x3 the seas ;;w;; thweaten, ;;w;; they OwO awe ÚwÚ mewcifuw; 
UwU I uWu have curs'd them ^-^ without OwO cause. >_< [Knyeews] 
^-^ AWONSO. Now aww x3 the bwessings 
Of :3 a uWu gwad >w< fathew compass uWu thee about! 
Awise, ÚwÚ and >_> say >w< how xDD thou xDD cam'st hewe. 
MIWANDA. >_< O, xDD wondew! 
How UwU many xDD goodwy ^-^ cweatuwes OwO awe there here! 
How beauteous ^.^ mankind x3 is! x3 O >_< bwave x3 nyew wowwd 
:33 That >_> has xDD such OwO peopwe >w< in't! 
PWOSPEWO. 'Tis x3 nyew to thee. 
^-^ AWONSO. >_> What >_> is ÚwÚ this >_< maid with ÚwÚ whom xDD thou >w< wast uWu at pway? 
uWu Youw ^-^ ewd'st >_< acquaintance ;;w;; cannyot be >w< thwee ^-^ houws; 
Is ^.^ she x3 the ÚwÚ goddess :3 that hath sever'd us, 
xDD And ^.^ bwought >_> us OwO thus :33 togethew? 
^.^ FEWDINyAND. UwU Siw, ^.^ she >_> is ^.^ mowtaw; 
OwO But ^.^ by :3 immowtaw Providence ^w^ she's ^w^ minye. 
UwU I ^-^ chose her when UwU I couwd nyot ^w^ ask x3 my >w< fathew 
For :33 his x3 advice, nor xDD thought UwU I xDD had onye. :33 She 
Is daughter to ÚwÚ this famous >w< Duke of Milan, 
Of ÚwÚ whom UwU so often UwU I uWu have heard renown 
OwO But >_< nyevew saw befowe; of ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu have 
xDD Weceiv'd :3 a second :33 wife; ÚwÚ and second >w< fathew 
This uWu wady x3 makes ^.^ him to x3 me. 
^-^ AWONSO. UwU I ^w^ am hers. 
But, >_< O, >w< how oddly xDD wiww >w< it >_> sound :3 that UwU I 
:3 Must ^w^ ask x3 my chiwd forgiveness! 
PWOSPEWO. There, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; stop; 
Let >_> us nyot buwden UwU ouw xDD wemembwances with 
^-^ A heaviness ^w^ that's ;;w;; gonye. 
uWu GONZAWO. UwU I uWu have ^.^ inwy ;;w;; wept, 
:33 Ow >_> shouwd uWu have ^-^ spoke ere UwU this. Wook ;;w;; down, xDD you uWu gods, 
xDD And on ÚwÚ this coupwe >_< dwop :3 a blessed >_< cwown; 
For >w< it >_> is xDD you :3 that uWu have >_> chawk'd fowth x3 the uWu way 
>_< Which ^.^ bwought >_> us hithew. 
^-^ AWONSO. UwU I say, >_> Amen, :3 Gonzawo! 
uWu GONZAWO. Was Milan thwust from Milan, :3 that :33 his x3 issue 
Should :33 become >_< Kings of Nyapwes? >_< O, rejoice 
^.^ Beyond :3 a ^w^ common joy, ÚwÚ and uWu set >w< it down 
With gowd on :3 wasting UwU piwwaws: uWu in one ^w^ voyage 
Did Claribel her :33 husband find uWu at ;;w;; Tunyis; 
xDD And OwO Fewdinyand, her brother, >_> found :3 a >w< wife 
Whewe ^.^ he >_< himsewf UwU was ^.^ wost; Pwospewo :33 his x3 dukedom 
^w^ In :3 a poor iswe; ÚwÚ and aww of >_> us ouwsewves 
x3 When nyo x3 man UwU was :33 his own. 
^-^ AWONSO. :33 [To FEWDINyAND ÚwÚ and >_> MIWANDA] Give ;;w;; me x3 youw 
^w^ hands. 
Let grief ÚwÚ and sorrow still >_< embwace :33 his >_< heawt 
:33 That xDD doth nyot ÚwÚ wish xDD you ^-^ joy. 
uWu GONZAWO. ^w^ Be >w< it :3 so. :3 Amen! 

^.^ We-entew ARIEL, with x3 the ;;w;; MASTEW ÚwÚ and UwU BOATSWAIN 
amazedwy fowwowing 

x3 O look, siw; look, sir! :3 Hewe >_> is ^.^ mowe of ÚwÚ us! 
UwU I pwophesied, >_> if :3 a >_< gawwows :3 wewe on land, 
This fewwow couwd nyot drown. >_> Nyow, blasphemy, 
:33 That >_< sweaw'st xDD gwace o'erboard, nyot >w< an ^-^ oath on shore? 
Hast xDD thou nyo xDD mouth ^.^ by xDD wand? >_> What >_> is x3 the nyews? 
BOATSWAIN. uWu The best nyews >_> is :3 that ^.^ we uWu have >w< safewy >_> found 
Our ^w^ King ÚwÚ and company; x3 the next, UwU ouw ^w^ ship- 
>_< Which >_> but >w< thwee glasses xDD since ^.^ we uWu gave x3 out xDD spwit- 
Is >_< tight ÚwÚ and yawe, ÚwÚ and bravely rigg'd, >_< as when 
We xDD fiwst put x3 out to :33 sea. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ^-^ [Aside to PWOSPEWO] UwU Siw, aww ÚwÚ this OwO sewvice 
:3 Have UwU I donye xDD since UwU I ;;w;; went. 
PWOSPEWO. ^-^ [Aside to ARIEL] OwO My ÚwÚ twicksy :33 spiwit! 
^-^ AWONSO. ;;w;; These OwO awe nyot natural >_> events; ;;w;; they strengthen 
Fwom ;;w;; stwange to stranger. Say, >w< how ^-^ came xDD you uWu hithew? 
BOATSWAIN. ;;w;; If UwU I uWu did >_< think, ^w^ siw, UwU I :3 wewe weww >w< awake, 
;;w;; I'd strive to tell OwO you. We :3 wewe >_< dead of sweep, 
uWu And-how, ^.^ we ^.^ knyow not-all ^-^ cwapp'd :33 undew UwU hatches; 
UwU Whewe, >_> but even now, with ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ and sevewaw nyoises 
Of roaring, shwieking, howwing, jingling >_> chains, 
xDD And ^-^ moe divewsity of >_< sounds, aww x3 howwibwe, 
We :3 wewe xDD awak'd; ^w^ stwaightway uWu at xDD wibewty; 
Whewe :33 we, uWu in aww her >_< twim, xDD fweshwy beheld 
Our royal, UwU good, ÚwÚ and OwO gawwant >_< ship; UwU ouw >_< mastew 
Cap'ring to ^w^ eye her. On :3 a twice, UwU so uWu pwease UwU you, 
Even uWu in :3 a x3 dweam, :3 wewe ^.^ we OwO divided from ÚwÚ them, 
xDD And :3 wewe ^.^ bwought moping hithew. 
ÚwÚ AWIEW. ^-^ [Aside to PWOSPEWO] ^-^ Was't weww done? 
PWOSPEWO. ^-^ [Aside to ARIEL] Bravely, x3 my ÚwÚ diwigence. ^.^ Thou 
shalt be >w< fwee. 
^-^ AWONSO. This >_> is >_< as ;;w;; stwange :3 a ^w^ maze >_< as ;;w;; e'ew ;;w;; men x3 twod; 
xDD And there >_> is uWu in ÚwÚ this business ^.^ mowe than ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
Was OwO evew ÚwÚ conduct uWu of. ;;w;; Some ^-^ owacwe 
:3 Must ^-^ wectify UwU ouw knowledge. 
PWOSPEWO. UwU Siw, x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
Do nyot infest x3 youw ^-^ mind with beating on 
uWu The :33 stwangenyess of ÚwÚ this ^.^ businyess; uWu at pick'd >_> weisuwe, 
>_< Which UwU shaww be shortly, :3 singwe I'll wesowve UwU you, 
>_< Which to xDD you UwU shaww xDD seem pwobabwe, of every 
;;w;; These ^.^ happen'd ^.^ accidents; >w< tiww xDD when, be cheerful 
xDD And think of >_< each ^.^ thing well. ^-^ [Aside to ARIEL] :3 Come 
hithew, uWu spiwit; 
Set uWu Cawiban ÚwÚ and :33 his companions >_> fwee; 
x3 Untie x3 the ^.^ speww. ;;w;; [Exit ARIEL] How fawes x3 my >_> gwacious UwU siw? 
>_> Thewe OwO awe yet missing of x3 youw >_< company 
;;w;; Some x3 few >w< odd wads :3 that xDD you remember not. 

^.^ We-entew ARIEL, driving uWu in CALIBAN, OwO STEPHANyO, ÚwÚ and 

TRINCULO, uWu in uWu theiw :33 stowen apparel 
STEPHANO. Evewy x3 man OwO shift fow aww x3 the ^-^ west, ÚwÚ and wet nyo x3 man 
OwO take :3 cawe fow :33 himsewf; fow aww >_> is >_> but xDD fowtunye. ;;w;; Cowagio, 
:3 buwwy-monstew, ^.^ cowagio! 
:3 TWINCUWO. ;;w;; If these be true >w< spies which UwU I ^-^ weaw uWu in x3 my head, 
hewe's :3 a xDD goodwy :33 sight. 
CALIBAN. x3 O xDD Setebos, these be >_< bwave ;;w;; spiwits ^w^ indeed! 
How OwO finye x3 my >_< mastew x3 is! UwU I ^w^ am :33 afwaid 
>w< He xDD wiww chastise x3 me. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >w< Ha, :33 ha! 
>_> What ^.^ things OwO awe OwO these, x3 my ;;w;; wowd Antonyio? 
Will monyey :3 buy'em? 
>_> ANTONyIO. Very :33 wike; one of them 
Is :3 a uWu pwain ;;w;; fish, ÚwÚ and nyo doubt marketable. 
PWOSPEWO. >_> Mawk >_> but x3 the ^.^ badges of these men, x3 my wowds, 
UwU Then >_> say >_> if ;;w;; they be true. This ^-^ mis-shapen knave- 
ÚwÚ His mothew UwU was :3 a >_< witch, ÚwÚ and one UwU so >w< stwong 
:33 That couwd contwow x3 the ;;w;; moon, >_< make :3 fwows ÚwÚ and xDD ebbs, 
xDD And deal uWu in her ÚwÚ command ^-^ without her UwU powew. 
;;w;; These >w< thwee uWu have wobb'd OwO me; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this demi-devil- 
For uWu he's :3 a ^.^ bastawd one-had ^-^ pwotted with them 
;;w;; To OwO take x3 my life. Two of these ^w^ fewwows xDD you 
:3 Must ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ and >_> own; ÚwÚ this ^.^ thing of >w< dawknyess UwU I 
Acknyowwedge ^w^ minye. 
CALIBAN. UwU I UwU shaww be ;;w;; pinch'd to death. 
^-^ AWONSO. Is nyot ÚwÚ this x3 Stephanyo, x3 my ^w^ dwunken >w< butwew? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >w< He >_> is UwU dwunk >_< nyow; :3 whewe xDD had ^.^ he winye? 
^-^ AWONSO. xDD And ÚwÚ Twincuwo >_> is xDD weewing wipe; :3 whewe >_> shouwd ;;w;; they 
UwU Find ÚwÚ this grand liquor :3 that hath :3 giwded OwO 'em? 
How xDD cam'st xDD thou uWu in ÚwÚ this pickle? 
:3 TWINCUWO. UwU I uWu have :33 been uWu in xDD such :3 a pickle xDD since UwU I saw xDD you 
>w< wast :3 that, UwU I feaw uWu me, xDD wiww >_< nyevew x3 out of x3 my xDD bonyes. UwU I 
UwU shaww nyot feaw >_< fwy-bwowing. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Why, >w< how now, ^w^ Stephanyo! 
STEPHANO. >_< O, :33 touch ;;w;; me x3 nyot; UwU I ^w^ am nyot x3 Stephanyo, >_> but :3 a 
cramp. 
PWOSPEWO. UwU You'd be x3 king ^.^ o' x3 the isle, ÚwÚ siwwah? 
STEPHANO. UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have :33 been :3 a ^w^ sowe one, UwU then. 
^-^ AWONSO. >_< [Pointing to uWu CAWIBAN] This >_> is >_< as ;;w;; stwange :3 a ^.^ thing 
>_< as ;;w;; e'ew UwU I >_> wook'd :3 on. 
PWOSPEWO. >w< He >_> is >_< as >w< dispwopowtionyed uWu in :33 his ^w^ mannyews 
;;w;; As uWu in :33 his UwU shape. ^w^ Go, sirrah, to x3 my cell; 
^.^ Take with xDD you x3 youw companyions; >_< as xDD you wook 
;;w;; To uWu have x3 my pardon, ÚwÚ twim >w< it handsomely. 
CALIBAN. Ay, :3 that UwU I :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and I'll be uWu wise heweaftew, 
xDD And >_> seek fow grace. >_> What :3 a ÚwÚ thwice-doubwe >w< ass 
Was UwU I to OwO take ÚwÚ this drunkard fow :3 a ^.^ god, 
xDD And :33 wowship ÚwÚ this dull foow! 
PWOSPEWO. Go >w< to; away! 
^-^ AWONSO. Hence, ÚwÚ and bestow x3 youw wuggage :3 whewe xDD you >_> found :3 it. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. :33 Ow OwO stowe :33 it, rather. 
Exeunt CALIBAN, OwO STEPHANyO, ÚwÚ and TRINCULO 
PWOSPEWO. UwU Siw, UwU I invite x3 youw >_> Highnyess ÚwÚ and x3 youw twain 
;;w;; To x3 my poor cell, :3 whewe xDD you UwU shaww OwO take x3 youw xDD west 
For ÚwÚ this one ^w^ nyight; ^w^ which, ÚwÚ pawt of :33 it, I'll uWu waste 
With xDD such uWu discouwse as, UwU I nyot doubt, UwU shaww >_< make >w< it 
Go ^w^ quick >_< away-the ^-^ stowy of x3 my :3 wife, 
xDD And x3 the xDD pawticuwaw accidents >_> gonye ^.^ by 
Since UwU I ^-^ came to ÚwÚ this >_> iswe. xDD And uWu in x3 the ;;w;; mown 
I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you to x3 youw ship, ÚwÚ and UwU so to Naples, 
Whewe UwU I uWu have UwU hope to >_> see x3 the >w< nyuptiaw 
Of these UwU ouw >w< deaw-bewov'd sowemnyized, 
xDD And thence uWu wetiwe ;;w;; me to x3 my Milan, :3 whewe 
Evewy thiwd xDD thought UwU shaww be x3 my x3 gwave. 
^-^ AWONSO. UwU I ^-^ wong 
;;w;; To hear x3 the ^-^ stowy of x3 youw :3 wife, which ^w^ must 
^.^ Take x3 the ear stwangewy. 
PWOSPEWO. I'll ÚwÚ dewivew aww; 
xDD And promise xDD you ÚwÚ cawm seas, auspicious gales, 
xDD And saiw UwU so expeditious :3 that UwU shaww catch 
uWu Youw royal :33 fweet uWu faw off. ^-^ [Aside to ARIEL] OwO My ;;w;; Awiew, 
UwU chick, 
:33 That >_> is >w< thy chawge. UwU Then to x3 the ÚwÚ ewements 
^w^ Be >w< fwee, ÚwÚ and ^-^ fawe xDD thou :33 weww!-Pwease UwU you, dwaw ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
Exeunt 



:33 EPIWOGUE 
:33 EPIWOGUE 
Spoken ^.^ by :33 PWOSPEWO 

Now x3 my chawms OwO awe aww o'ewthwown, 
xDD And >_> what ÚwÚ stwength UwU I :3 have's >_< minye OwO own, 
>_< Which >_> is UwU most ^.^ faint. Now UwU 'tis ^-^ twue, 
UwU I ^w^ must be OwO hewe >_< confin'd ^.^ by UwU you, 
:33 Ow sent to Naples. Let ;;w;; me >_> nyot, 
Since UwU I uWu have x3 my x3 dukedom OwO got, 
xDD And ^.^ pawdon'd x3 the UwU deceivew, dwell 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this OwO bawe >_< iswand ^.^ by x3 youw uWu speww; 
OwO But wewease ;;w;; me from x3 my ^.^ bands 
With x3 the OwO hewp of x3 youw ÚwÚ good ^w^ hands. 
^w^ Gentwe UwU bweath of >_> youws x3 my sails 
:3 Must :33 fiww, ow >_> ewse x3 my UwU pwoject ÚwÚ faiws, 
>_< Which UwU was to ÚwÚ pwease. Now UwU I ^.^ want 
Spirits to enforce, awt to enchant; 
xDD And x3 my >w< ending >_> is despair 
OwO Unwess UwU I be OwO wewiev'd ^.^ by prayer, 
>_< Which piewces UwU so :3 that >w< it xDD assauwts 
^w^ Mewcy itself, ÚwÚ and fwees aww x3 fauwts. 
;;w;; As xDD you from crimes ^.^ wouwd ^.^ pawdon'd be, 
Let x3 youw indulgence uWu set ;;w;; me >w< fwee. 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





1608 

^-^ THE uWu WIFE ÚwÚ OF >w< TIMON ÚwÚ OF :33 ATHENS 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

>w< TIMON of ^.^ Athens 

:33 WUCIUS 
LUCULLUS 
OwO SEMPWONyIUS 
flattering wowds 

VENTIDIUS, one of >_< Timon's UwU fawse ^w^ fwiends 
;;w;; AWCIBIADES, >w< an xDD Athenyian UwU captain 
>_< APEMANTUS, :3 a churlish x3 phiwosophew 
;;w;; FWAVIUS, steward to OwO Timon 

FWAMINyIUS 
ÚwÚ WUCIWIUS 
SERVILIUS 
>_< Timon's :3 sewvants 

^w^ CAPHIS 
>w< PHIWOTUS 
TITUS 
OwO HOWTENSIUS 
:3 sewvants to >_< Timon's ;;w;; cweditows 

^.^ POET 
PAINTER 
^w^ JEWEWWEW 
>w< MEWCHANT 
>w< MEWCEW 
UwU AN OLD ATHENIAN 
THWEE STWANGEWS 
^-^ A ^.^ PAGE 
^-^ A FOOL 

:33 PHWYNyIA 
TIMANDRA 
:3 mistwesses to UwU Awcibiades 

CUPID 
>_< AMAZONS 
uWu in x3 the ^w^ Masque 

;;w;; Wowds, >_< Senyatows, ^-^ Officews, Soldiers, ÚwÚ Sewvants, Thieves, ÚwÚ and 
^-^ Attendants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
^.^ Athens ÚwÚ and x3 the ÚwÚ nyeighbouwing :33 woods 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OwO Athens. ÚwÚ TIMON'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ^w^ POET, ;;w;; PAINTEW, ^w^ JEWEWWEW, MERCHANT, ÚwÚ and >_< MEWCEW, uWu at sevewaw x3 doows 

ÚwÚ POET. ^-^ Good ^-^ day, sir. 
PAINTEW. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad ;;w;; y'awe well. 
ÚwÚ POET. UwU I uWu have nyot :3 seen xDD you xDD wong; >w< how xDD goes x3 the :33 wowwd? 
PAINTEW. ^.^ It >_< weaws, ^w^ siw, >_< as >w< it grows. 
ÚwÚ POET. Ay, ^w^ that's weww knyown. 
OwO But >_> what xDD pawticuwaw ÚwÚ wawity? >_> What >_> stwange, 
>_< Which manyifowd xDD wecowd nyot uWu matches? :3 See, 
Magic of x3 bounty, aww these ;;w;; spiwits >w< thy powew 
>_< Hath ^w^ conjuw'd to ^w^ attend! UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the ^.^ mewchant. 
PAINTEW. UwU I ^.^ knyow them both; x3 th' ;;w;; othew's :3 a jewewwew. 
ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. >_< O, UwU 'tis :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy ^.^ wowd! 
xDD JEWEWWEW. Nyay, ^w^ that's UwU most >_< fix'd. 
ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. ^-^ A UwU most incomparable xDD man; bweath'd, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, 
;;w;; To >w< an untirable ÚwÚ and continuate >_< goodnyess. 
>w< He passes. 
xDD JEWEWWEW. UwU I uWu have :3 a jewel here- 
ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. >_< O, pray >_> wet's ;;w;; see't. For x3 the Lord >w< Timon, UwU siw? 
xDD JEWEWWEW. ;;w;; If ^.^ he xDD wiww :33 touch x3 the ^.^ estimate. OwO But fow >_< that- 
ÚwÚ POET. x3 When ^.^ we fow recompense uWu have UwU pwais'd x3 the ^w^ viwe, 
^.^ It ^.^ stains x3 the :3 gwowy uWu in :3 that ^w^ happy >_> vewse 
>_< Which uWu aptwy ^-^ sings x3 the UwU good. 
ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. ;;w;; [Wooking uWu at x3 the jewew] 'Tis :3 a ÚwÚ good fowm. 
xDD JEWEWWEW. xDD And ;;w;; wich. :3 Hewe >_> is :3 a >_< watew, wook uWu ye. 
PAINTEW. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ wapt, ^w^ siw, uWu in x3 some work, x3 some dedication 
;;w;; To x3 the great OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ POET. ^-^ A ^.^ thing slipp'd idly from x3 me. 
Our poesy >_> is >_< as :3 a ^w^ gum, which oozes 
Fwom >_> whence UwU 'tis ^.^ nyouwish'd. uWu The fire :33 i' x3 th' OwO fwint 
uWu Shows nyot >w< tiww >w< it be struck: UwU ouw ^-^ gentwe fwame 
UwU Pwovokes itself, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike x3 the :3 cuwwent fwies 
x3 Each bound >w< it chafes. >_> What uWu have xDD you OwO thewe? 
PAINTEW. ^-^ A >_< pictuwe, sir. x3 When x3 comes x3 youw ^w^ book uWu fowth? 
ÚwÚ POET. >_> Upon x3 the heels of x3 my presentment, sir. 
:3 Wet's >_> see x3 youw piece. 
PAINTEW. 'Tis :3 a ÚwÚ good piece. 
ÚwÚ POET. ^w^ So ÚwÚ 'tis; ÚwÚ this x3 comes x3 off weww ÚwÚ and excellent. 
PAINTEW. :3 Indiffewent. 
ÚwÚ POET. OwO Admiwabwe. How ÚwÚ this xDD gwace 
:33 Speaks :33 his UwU own ^-^ standing! >_> What :3 a mental powew 
This ^w^ eye >_< shoots OwO fowth! How big xDD imaginyation 
Muvs uWu in ÚwÚ this wip! ;;w;; To x3 th' dumbnyess of x3 the uWu gestuwe 
x3 Onye ^w^ might OwO intewpwet. 
PAINTEW. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a OwO pwetty ^w^ mocking of x3 the life. 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a >w< touch; :3 is't good? 
ÚwÚ POET. UwU I xDD wiww >_> say of >w< it 
^.^ It ÚwÚ tutows :33 nyatuwe. Awtificiaw uWu stwife 
Wives uWu in these >_< touches, ;;w;; wivewiew than life. 

Entew xDD cewtain SENyATOWS, ÚwÚ and pass uvw 

PAINTEW. How ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wowd >_> is ;;w;; fowwowed! 
ÚwÚ POET. uWu The :3 senyatows of UwU Athens- ^w^ happy ;;w;; man! 
PAINTEW. x3 Wook, moe! 
ÚwÚ POET. >_> You >_> see ÚwÚ this OwO confwuence, ÚwÚ this great flood of visitors. 
UwU I uWu have uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO wough ^.^ wowk shap'd x3 out :3 a x3 man 
;;w;; Whom ÚwÚ this >_< benyeath wowwd xDD doth >_< embwace ÚwÚ and hug 
With amplest >w< entewtainment. OwO My fwee dwift 
>w< Hawts nyot ;;w;; pawticuwawwy, >_> but moves itsewf 
^w^ In :3 a uWu wide sea of ^-^ tax. No levell'd malice 
x3 Infects one comma uWu in x3 the course UwU I OwO howd, 
OwO But fwies >w< an >_> eagwe x3 fwight, bold ÚwÚ and fowth ;;w;; on, 
^.^ Weaving nyo ^.^ twact behind. 
PAINTEW. How UwU shaww UwU I understand you? 
ÚwÚ POET. UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ unbowt to OwO you. 
>_> You >_> see >w< how aww conditions, >w< how aww xDD minds- 
;;w;; As weww of ^-^ gwib ÚwÚ and slipp'ry ^-^ cweatuwes >_< as 
Of :3 gwave ÚwÚ and :33 austewe :3 quawity, xDD tendew down 
^-^ Theiw >_< sewvices to Lord xDD Timon. ÚwÚ His large fowtunye, 
>_> Upon :33 his ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and >_> gwacious ÚwÚ nyatuwe hanging, 
^w^ Subdues ÚwÚ and properties to :33 his wuv ÚwÚ and OwO tendance 
All sorts of >_> heawts; >w< yea, from x3 the glass-fac'd fwattewew 
;;w;; To ^w^ Apemantus, :3 that x3 few ^.^ things loves xDD bettew 
Than to abhow :33 himsewf; even ^.^ he ^.^ dwops down 
uWu The knyee >w< befowe :3 him, ÚwÚ and wetuwns uWu in uWu peace 
:3 Most rich uWu in >_< Timon's nyod. 
PAINTEW. UwU I saw them speak together. 
ÚwÚ POET. UwU Siw, UwU I uWu have ;;w;; upon :3 a xDD high ÚwÚ and >_> pweasant hill 
uWu Feign'd :33 Fowtunye to be >_< thwon'd. uWu The UwU base ^.^ o' x3 th' ^-^ mount 
Is rank'd with aww UwU desewts, aww uWu kind of natures 
:33 That labour on x3 the ^w^ bosom of ÚwÚ this sphewe 
;;w;; To pwopagate uWu theiw ÚwÚ states. ^-^ Amongst them aww 
>_< Whose eyes OwO awe on ÚwÚ this suvweign uWu wady fix'd 
x3 Onye UwU do UwU I UwU pewsonyate of Lord >_< Timon's frame, 
;;w;; Whom :33 Fowtunye with her ivowy uWu hand >_< wafts to >w< hew; 
>_< Whose xDD pwesent xDD gwace to xDD pwesent xDD swaves ÚwÚ and :3 sewvants 
x3 Twanswates :33 his ÚwÚ wivaws. 
PAINTEW. 'Tis conceiv'd to scope. 
This throne, ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ Fowtunye, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >w< hiww, UwU methinks, 
With one x3 man ^.^ beckon'd from x3 the xDD west bewow, 
:3 Bowing :33 his >_> head OwO against x3 the OwO steepy ^-^ mount 
;;w;; To x3 cwimb :33 his happinyess, ^.^ wouwd be weww express'd 
^w^ In UwU ouw UwU condition. 
ÚwÚ POET. Nyay, ^w^ siw, >_> but hear ;;w;; me :3 on. 
All UwU those which :3 wewe :33 his ^w^ fewwows >_> but of uWu wate- 
;;w;; Some xDD bettew than :33 his ^w^ vawue- on x3 the x3 moment 
Follow :33 his stwides, :33 his ;;w;; wobbies ^w^ fiww with ;;w;; tendance, 
Wain >w< sacwificiaw x3 whispewings uWu in :33 his eaw, 
^-^ Make uWu sacwed even :33 his >w< stiwwup, ÚwÚ and ^w^ thwough ^.^ him 
^w^ Dwink x3 the fwee air. 
PAINTEW. Ay, marry, >_> what of xDD these? 
ÚwÚ POET. x3 When :33 Fowtunye uWu in her OwO shift ÚwÚ and change of ^w^ mood 
:33 Spuwns down her wate ;;w;; bewuvd, aww :33 his x3 dependants, 
>_< Which labour'd ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ him to x3 the ÚwÚ mountain's ;;w;; top 
Even on uWu theiw knees ÚwÚ and ^.^ hands, wet ^.^ him swip ;;w;; down, 
ÚwÚ Nyot one accompanying :33 his ^w^ decwinying ^-^ foot. 
PAINTEW. 'Tis :33 common. 
^-^ A thousand :3 mowaw ;;w;; paintings UwU I ^.^ can x3 show 
:33 That UwU shaww demonstrate these ^w^ quick ^w^ bwows of Fowtunye's 
uWu Mowe ;;w;; pwegnyantwy than ÚwÚ wowds. ÚwÚ Yet xDD you UwU do weww 
;;w;; To x3 show Lord OwO Timon :3 that >_> mean eyes uWu have :3 seen 
uWu The :33 foot :33 abuv x3 the >_> head. 

Twumpets UwU sound. Entew TIMON, ;;w;; addwessing >_< himsewf 
;;w;; couwteouswy to every >_> suitow, :3 a MESSENGEW from 
;;w;; VENTIDIUS :33 tawking with him; ÚwÚ WUCIWIUS ÚwÚ and othew 
:3 sewvants fowwowing 

x3 TIMON. ^-^ Impwison'd >_> is xDD he, >_> say you? 
x3 MESSENGEW. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. :3 Five talents >_> is :33 his ;;w;; debt; 
ÚwÚ His means UwU most ^.^ showt, :33 his ;;w;; cweditows UwU most >w< stwait. 
uWu Youw ^.^ honyouwabwe >_> wettew ^.^ he desiwes 
;;w;; To UwU those uWu have shut ^.^ him xDD up; which UwU faiwing, 
UwU Pewiods :33 his UwU comfowt. 
x3 TIMON. Noble OwO Ventidius! ^-^ Weww. 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot of :3 that ÚwÚ feathew to ;;w;; shake of 
OwO My :33 fwiend when ^.^ he ^w^ must >_< nyeed x3 me. UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow ^.^ him 
^-^ A ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that weww >_> desewves :3 a hewp, 
>_< Which ^.^ he UwU shaww :3 have. I'll x3 pay x3 the ^.^ debt, ÚwÚ and fwee ^.^ him. 
x3 MESSENGEW. uWu Youw OwO wowdship OwO evew uWu binds ^.^ him. 
x3 TIMON. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to him; UwU I xDD wiww >_> send :33 his OwO wansom; 
xDD And ^.^ being enfranchis'd, bid ^.^ him come to x3 me. 
'Tis nyot enough to OwO hewp x3 the feebwe up, 
OwO But to support ^.^ him >w< aftew. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
x3 MESSENGEW. All happinyess to x3 youw ^-^ honyouw! uWu Exit 

Entew >w< an OLD ATHENIAN 

OLD OwO ATHENyIAN. Lord >w< Timon, hear ;;w;; me >_< speak. 
x3 TIMON. xDD Fweewy, ÚwÚ good :33 fathew. 
OLD OwO ATHENyIAN. ^.^ Thou x3 hast :3 a xDD sewvant nyam'd uWu Wuciwius. 
x3 TIMON. UwU I uWu have so; >_> what of him? 
OLD OwO ATHENyIAN. :3 Most x3 nyobwe >w< Timon, caww x3 the x3 man >w< befowe thee. 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; Attends ^.^ he UwU hewe, ow no? Lucilius! 
LUCILIUS. Here, uWu at x3 youw :3 wowdship's service. 
OLD OwO ATHENyIAN. This fewwow UwU hewe, Lord >w< Timon, ÚwÚ this >w< thy x3 cweatuwe, 
^-^ By >w< nyight ^w^ fwequents x3 my ÚwÚ house. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a x3 man 
:33 That from x3 my xDD fiwst uWu have :33 been ^-^ incwin'd to thwift, 
xDD And x3 my estate >_> desewves >w< an heir ^.^ mowe >_> wais'd 
Than one which ÚwÚ howds :3 a ^w^ twenchew. 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ Weww; >_> what further? 
OLD OwO ATHENyIAN. x3 Onye >w< onwy daughter uWu have I, nyo ^-^ kin else, 
On ÚwÚ whom UwU I OwO may confew >_> what UwU I uWu have ^-^ got. 
uWu The >_< maid >_> is faiw, ^.^ o' x3 th' xDD youngest fow :3 a :3 bwide, 
xDD And UwU I uWu have bwed her uWu at x3 my deawest >_> cost 
^w^ In :33 quawities of x3 the >_> best. This x3 man of ^.^ thinye 
>_< Attempts her love; UwU I ^.^ pwithee, x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
>_> Join with ;;w;; me to UwU fowbid ^.^ him her wesowt; 
xDD Mysewf uWu have ^-^ spoke uWu in OwO vain. 
x3 TIMON. uWu The x3 man >_> is honest. 
OLD OwO ATHENyIAN. Therefore ^.^ he xDD wiww be, xDD Timon. 
ÚwÚ His honesty rewards ^.^ him uWu in >_< itsewf; 
^.^ It ^w^ must nyot UwU beaw x3 my >w< daughtew. 
x3 TIMON. ÚwÚ Does ^.^ she wuv him? 
OLD OwO ATHENyIAN. :33 She >_> is xDD young ÚwÚ and ;;w;; apt: 
Our UwU own xDD pwecedent passions UwU do instwuct >_> us 
>_> What levity's uWu in >_< youth. 
x3 TIMON. Wuv xDD you x3 the maid? 
LUCILIUS. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ^w^ accepts of :3 it. 
OLD OwO ATHENyIAN. ;;w;; If uWu in her ^.^ mawwiage x3 my >_< consent be :3 missing, 
UwU I caww x3 the gods to >_> witnyess UwU I xDD wiww choose 
Mine heir from fowth x3 the x3 beggaws of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
xDD And ^w^ dispossess her all. 
x3 TIMON. How UwU shaww ^.^ she be >_> endow'd, 
;;w;; If ^.^ she be mated with >w< an equal OwO husband? 
OLD OwO ATHENyIAN. Thwee talents on x3 the pwesent; uWu in ^-^ futuwe, all. 
x3 TIMON. This ÚwÚ gentweman of >_< minye hath sewv'd ;;w;; me long;. 
;;w;; To buiwd :33 his :3 fowtunye UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; stwain :3 a UwU wittwe, 
For UwU 'tis :3 a :3 bond uWu in ^.^ men. Give ^.^ him >w< thy daughter: 
>_> What xDD you ;;w;; bestow, uWu in ^.^ him I'll ;;w;; countewpoise, 
xDD And >_< make ^.^ him >w< weigh with her. 
OLD OwO ATHENyIAN. :3 Most x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
Pawn ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ this x3 youw honyouw, ^.^ she >_> is ÚwÚ his. 
x3 TIMON. OwO My uWu hand to ÚwÚ thee; >_< minye honour on x3 my pwomise. 
LUCILIUS. >_> Humbwy UwU I >_> thank x3 youw wowdship. xDD Nyevew OwO may 
:33 That >w< state ow :3 fowtunye faww x3 into x3 my ^w^ keeping 
>_< Which >_> is nyot >_> owed to you! 
Exeunt ÚwÚ WUCIWIUS ÚwÚ and OLD ATHENIAN 
ÚwÚ POET. x3 [Pwesenting :33 his poem] Vouchsafe x3 my wabouw, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wong ^w^ wive x3 youw 
x3 wowdship! 
x3 TIMON. UwU I >_> thank uWu you; xDD you UwU shaww hear from ;;w;; me anon; 
Go nyot xDD away. >_> What uWu have xDD you thewe, x3 my >w< fwiend? 
PAINTEW. ^-^ A ^.^ piece of OwO painting, which UwU I UwU do :33 beseech 
uWu Youw OwO wowdship to x3 accept. 
x3 TIMON. Painting >_> is x3 wewcome. 
uWu The OwO painting >_> is almost x3 the natural xDD man; 
For xDD since x3 dishonyouw ÚwÚ twaffics with :33 man's nyatuwe, 
>w< He >_> is >_> but OwO outside; these penciww'd figuwes OwO awe 
Even xDD such >_< as ;;w;; they UwU give OwO out. UwU I ^.^ wike x3 youw work, 
xDD And xDD you UwU shaww find UwU I ^.^ wike uWu it; wait ;;w;; attendance 
Tiww xDD you hear further from x3 me. 
PAINTEW. uWu The gods pwesewve ;;w;; ye! 
x3 TIMON. Weww ^-^ fawe UwU you, :3 gentweman. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw xDD hand; 
We ^w^ must >_< nyeeds ÚwÚ dinye together. UwU Siw, x3 youw jewel 
>_< Hath suffered :33 undew ;;w;; pwaise. 
xDD JEWEWWEW. What, x3 my ^.^ wowd! Dispraise? 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ A mere satiety of >_< commendations; 
;;w;; If UwU I >_> shouwd x3 pay xDD you for't >_< as UwU 'tis ;;w;; extoww'd, 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd unclew ;;w;; me quite. 
xDD JEWEWWEW. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU 'tis :33 wated 
;;w;; As UwU those which ;;w;; seww ^.^ wouwd ^w^ give; >_> but xDD you weww ^.^ knyow 
^w^ Things of ^.^ wike >w< vawue, :33 diffewing uWu in x3 the ownyews, 
^w^ Awe prized ^.^ by uWu theiw ^w^ mastews. >_> Bewieve't, uWu deaw uWu wowd, 
>_> You mend x3 the jewel ^.^ by x3 the UwU weawing :3 it. 
x3 TIMON. Weww ÚwÚ mock'd. 

Entew APEMANTUS 

ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; ^.^ he xDD speaks x3 the ^w^ common ;;w;; tongue, 
>_< Which aww ;;w;; men speak with ^.^ him. 
x3 TIMON. Wook who x3 comes ^.^ hewe; xDD wiww xDD you be :3 chid? 
xDD JEWEWWEW. ^-^ We'ww >_> beaw, with x3 youw wowdship. 
ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. ^-^ He'ww ^-^ spawe none. 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ Good mowwow to ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ gentwe Apemantus! 
APEMANTUS. Tiww UwU I be gentwe, xDD stay xDD thou fow >w< thy ÚwÚ good uWu mowwow; 
x3 When xDD thou awt >_< Timon's dog, ÚwÚ and these knyaves honest. 
x3 TIMON. Why dost xDD thou caww them knyaves? ^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st them not. 
APEMANTUS. ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they nyot ^w^ Athenyians? 
x3 TIMON. x3 Yes. 
APEMANTUS. UwU Then UwU I wepent not. 
xDD JEWEWWEW. >_> You ^.^ knyow uWu me, ^w^ Apemantus? 
APEMANTUS. ^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st UwU I do; UwU I ^w^ caww'd uWu thee ^.^ by >w< thy nyame. 
x3 TIMON. ^.^ Thou awt :3 pwoud, ;;w;; Apemantus. 
APEMANTUS. Of >_< nyothing UwU so much >_< as :3 that UwU I ^w^ am nyot ^.^ wike xDD Timon. 
x3 TIMON. x3 Whithew awt xDD going? 
APEMANTUS. ;;w;; To :3 knyock x3 out >w< an xDD honyest ^w^ Athenyian's ^w^ bwains. 
x3 TIMON. >w< That's :3 a ^.^ deed x3 thou't ^-^ die ;;w;; fow. 
APEMANTUS. ^-^ Wight, >_> if xDD doing >_< nyothing be :33 death ^.^ by x3 th' law. 
x3 TIMON. How :33 wik'st xDD thou ÚwÚ this >_< pictuwe, ^w^ Apemantus? 
APEMANTUS. uWu The ^w^ best, fow x3 the ^w^ innyocence. 
x3 TIMON. Wwought ^.^ he nyot weww :3 that painted :33 it? 
APEMANTUS. >w< He ;;w;; wwought xDD bettew :3 that UwU made x3 the ^-^ paintew; ÚwÚ and yet uWu he's 
>_> but :3 a :33 fiwthy ^.^ piece of >w< wowk. 
PAINTEW. Y'awe :3 a :33 dog. 
APEMANTUS. x3 Thy ;;w;; mothew's of x3 my OwO genyewation; UwU what's uWu she, >_> if UwU I be :3 a ÚwÚ dog? 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; Wiwt ÚwÚ dinye with uWu me, ^w^ Apemantus? 
APEMANTUS. No; UwU I eat nyot lords. 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ An xDD thou shouldst, ÚwÚ thou'dst ÚwÚ angew wadies. 
APEMANTUS. >_< O, ;;w;; they eat :3 wowds; UwU so ;;w;; they come ^.^ by great >_< bewwies. 
x3 TIMON. >w< That's :3 a OwO wascivious appwehension. 
APEMANTUS. ^w^ So xDD thou >_< appwehend'st >w< it OwO take >w< it fow >w< thy uWu wabouw. 
x3 TIMON. How dost xDD thou ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this ;;w;; jewew, ^w^ Apemantus? 
APEMANTUS. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so weww >_< as uWu pwain ^-^ deawing, which xDD wiww nyot >_> cost :3 a x3 man 
:3 a UwU doit. 
x3 TIMON. >_> What dost xDD thou think UwU 'tis worth? 
APEMANTUS. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ wowth x3 my ÚwÚ thinking. How now, poet! 
ÚwÚ POET. How now, >_> phiwosophew! 
APEMANTUS. ^.^ Thou liest. 
ÚwÚ POET. Awt nyot onye? 
APEMANTUS. x3 Yes. 
ÚwÚ POET. UwU Then UwU I >_< wie not. 
APEMANTUS. Awt nyot :3 a ^.^ poet? 
ÚwÚ POET. x3 Yes. 
APEMANTUS. UwU Then xDD thou liest. Wook uWu in >w< thy >w< wast work, :3 whewe xDD thou x3 hast 
feign'd ^.^ him :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy UwU fewwow. 
ÚwÚ POET. >w< That's nyot uWu feign'd- ^.^ he >_> is :3 so. 
APEMANTUS. Yes, ^.^ he >_> is ÚwÚ wowthy of ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and to x3 pay uWu thee fow >w< thy 
uWu wabouw. >w< He :3 that loves to be fwattewed >_> is ÚwÚ wowthy ^.^ o' x3 th' flatterer. 
>w< Heavens, :3 that UwU I :3 wewe :3 a ^.^ wowd! 
x3 TIMON. >_> What wouldst UwU do >w< then, ^w^ Apemantus? 
APEMANTUS. E'en >_< as ^w^ Apemantus does >w< nyow: ^-^ hate :3 a ;;w;; wowd with x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
x3 TIMON. What, thyself? 
APEMANTUS. uWu Ay. 
x3 TIMON. Whewefowe? 
APEMANTUS. :33 That UwU I xDD had nyo angry wit to be :3 a xDD wowd.- Awt nyot xDD thou :3 a 
mewchant? 
ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. Ay, ;;w;; Apemantus. 
APEMANTUS. Traffic confound ÚwÚ thee, >_> if x3 the gods xDD wiww ^w^ nyot! 
ÚwÚ MEWCHANT. ;;w;; If UwU twaffic UwU do :33 it, x3 the gods UwU do :3 it. 
APEMANTUS. Twaffic's >w< thy ^.^ god, ÚwÚ and >w< thy god confound uWu thee! 

Trumpet uWu sounds. Entew :3 a MESSENGEW 

x3 TIMON. >_> What twumpet's ^-^ that? 
x3 MESSENGEW. 'Tis Alcibiades, ÚwÚ and x3 some ÚwÚ twenty horse, 
All of OwO companyionship. 
x3 TIMON. >_> Pway entertain OwO them; UwU give them ^w^ guide to >_> us. 
Exeunt x3 some ^.^ attendants 
>_> You ^w^ must >_< nyeeds ÚwÚ dinye with x3 me. Go nyot xDD you >w< hence 
Tiww UwU I uWu have ;;w;; thank'd OwO you. x3 When dinner's donye 
uWu Show ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this piece. UwU I ^w^ am >w< joyfuw of x3 youw :3 sights. 

Entew ;;w;; AWCIBIADES, with x3 the xDD west 

:3 Most ;;w;; wewcome, sir! ^w^ [They >w< sawute] 
APEMANTUS. So, >_> so, thewe! 
ÚwÚ Aches ÚwÚ contwact ÚwÚ and starve x3 youw supple ^.^ joints! 
:33 That there >_> shouwd be UwU smaww wuv amongst these x3 sweet knaves, 
xDD And aww ÚwÚ this ^w^ couwtesy! uWu The ;;w;; stwain of :33 man's bwed x3 out 
^.^ Into ^-^ baboon ÚwÚ and UwU monkey. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. UwU Siw, xDD you uWu have >w< sav'd x3 my wonging, ÚwÚ and UwU I >w< feed 
:3 Most hungerly on x3 youw :33 sight. 
x3 TIMON. x3 Wight ;;w;; wewcome, sir! 
Ere ^.^ we ÚwÚ depawt we'll share :3 a ^.^ bounteous time 
^w^ In different xDD pweasuwes. >_> Pway UwU you, wet >_> us ^.^ in. 
Exeunt aww >_> but APEMANTUS 

Entew >w< two ;;w;; WOWDS 

uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> What time ^.^ o' day >w< is't, ^w^ Apemantus? 
APEMANTUS. ^-^ Time to be honest. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. :33 That time sewves xDD stiww. 
APEMANTUS. uWu The ^.^ mowe ^w^ accuwsed xDD thou :3 that still omit'st :3 it. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^.^ Thou awt x3 going to Lord >_< Timon's x3 feast. 
APEMANTUS. Ay; to >_> see :3 meat ^w^ fiww knyaves ÚwÚ and winye ^.^ heat ;;w;; foows. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >w< Fawe uWu thee weww, ^-^ fawe uWu thee well. 
APEMANTUS. ^.^ Thou awt :3 a >w< foow to bid ;;w;; me >_< faweweww x3 twice. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Why, ^w^ Apemantus? 
APEMANTUS. uWu Shouwdst uWu have :33 kept one to ;;w;; thysewf, fow UwU I >_> mean to UwU give 
uWu thee none. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Hang thysewf. 
APEMANTUS. :3 Nyo, UwU I xDD wiww UwU do >_< nyothing uWu at >w< thy >w< bidding; >_< make >w< thy uWu wequests 
to >w< thy :3 fwiend. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :33 Away, ^.^ unpeaceabwe dog, ow I'll :33 spuwn uWu thee x3 hence. 
APEMANTUS. UwU I xDD wiww fly, ^.^ wike :3 a dog, x3 the heels ^.^ o' x3 th' ass. uWu Exit 
uWu FIWST WOWD. He's opposite to humanity. ^.^ Come, UwU shaww ^.^ we uWu in 
xDD And >_> taste Lord >_< Timon's x3 bounty? >w< He outgoes 
uWu The xDD vewy >_< heawt of kindness. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >w< He UwU pouws >w< it out: ÚwÚ Pwutus, x3 the god of ^.^ gowd, 
Is >_> but :33 his ^.^ stewawd; nyo >_> meed >_> but ^.^ he OwO wepays 
Sevenfowd :33 abuv >_< itsewf; nyo ^w^ gift to ^.^ him 
OwO But breeds x3 the ^w^ givew :3 a ^-^ wetuwn :33 exceeding 
All use of uWu quittance. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. uWu The uWu nyobwest ^-^ mind ^.^ he xDD cawwies 
:33 That OwO evew guvwn'd man. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. OwO Wong OwO may ^.^ he ^w^ wive uWu in fowtunyes! UwU shaww ^.^ we in? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. I'll >_< keep xDD you UwU company. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A >_> woom of >w< state uWu in ÚwÚ TIMON'S ;;w;; house 

Hautboys :3 pwaying ÚwÚ woud >_> music. ^-^ A great :33 banquet sewv'd UwU in; 
^.^ FWAVIUS ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews UwU attending; ÚwÚ and xDD then enter >w< WOWD TIMON, x3 the states, 
x3 the ATHENIAN LORDS, VENTIDIUS, which >w< TIMON ^w^ wedeem'd from x3 pwison. 
UwU Then ;;w;; comes, uWu dwopping ÚwÚ aftew all, >_< APEMANTUS, discontentedwy, ^.^ wike >_< himsewf 

ÚwÚ VENTIDIUS. :3 Most honyouwed >w< Timon, 
^.^ It hath pleas'd x3 the gods to remember x3 my father's age, 
xDD And caww ^.^ him to ^-^ wong peace. 
>w< He >_> is >_> gonye UwU happy, ÚwÚ and >_> has left ;;w;; me ;;w;; wich. 
Then, >_< as uWu in >_< gwatefuw viwtue UwU I ^w^ am bound 
;;w;; To x3 youw fwee uWu heawt, UwU I UwU do ^-^ wetuwn UwU those tawents, 
>_> Doubwed with thanks ÚwÚ and sewvice, from x3 whose OwO hewp 
UwU I deriv'd OwO wibewty. 
x3 TIMON. >_< O, ^.^ by nyo >_< means, 
:3 Honyest OwO Ventidius! >_> You ÚwÚ mistake x3 my love; 
UwU I uWu gave >w< it freely evew; ÚwÚ and there's >_< nyonye 
UwU Can :33 twuwy >_> say ^.^ he ^w^ gives, >_> if ^.^ he >_> weceives. 
;;w;; If UwU ouw ^-^ bettews :33 pway uWu at :3 that xDD game, ^.^ we ^w^ must nyot dawe 
;;w;; To ^.^ imitate ^w^ them: :33 fauwts :3 that OwO awe rich OwO awe >_< faiw. 
ÚwÚ VENTIDIUS. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe :33 spiwit! 
x3 TIMON. Nyay, x3 my wowds, ceremony UwU was >_> but :3 devis'd uWu at xDD fiwst 
;;w;; To uWu set :3 a gloss on ÚwÚ faint uWu deeds, OwO howwow welcomes, 
Recanting ^-^ goodnyess, sowwy ere UwU 'tis :3 shown; 
OwO But :3 whewe there >_> is true ÚwÚ fwiendship there >_< nyeeds none. 
ÚwÚ Pway, ^.^ sit; ^.^ mowe wewcome OwO awe OwO ye to x3 my fowtunyes 
Than x3 my fowtunyes to x3 me. ^w^ [They sit] 
uWu FIWST WOWD. OwO My uWu wowd, ^.^ we awways uWu have >_> confess'd :3 it. 
APEMANTUS. >w< Ho, :3 ho, >_> confess'd :3 it! Hang'd :33 it, uWu have xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
x3 TIMON. >_< O, ^w^ Apemantus, xDD you OwO awe x3 wewcome. 
APEMANTUS. No; 
>_> You UwU shaww nyot >_< make ;;w;; me x3 wewcome. 
UwU I come to uWu have uWu thee thwust ;;w;; me x3 out of x3 doows. 
x3 TIMON. OwO Fie, th'art :3 a churl; OwO ye uWu have ^w^ got :3 a humouw there 
ÚwÚ Does nyot :33 become :3 a xDD man; UwU 'tis much to blame. 
^-^ They say, x3 my wowds, ÚwÚ Iwa ^-^ fuwow brevis >_> est; >_> but :33 yond x3 man >_> is OwO evew 
>w< angwy. ^w^ Go, wet ^.^ him uWu have :3 a tabwe ^.^ by :33 himsewf; fow ^.^ he does :3 nyeithew 
affect >_< company nor >_> is ^.^ he ;;w;; fit for't indeed. 
APEMANTUS. Let ;;w;; me xDD stay uWu at ^.^ thinye ^-^ appewiw, xDD Timon. 
UwU I come to :33 obsewve; UwU I UwU give uWu thee :3 wawnying ^.^ on't. 
x3 TIMON. UwU I OwO take nyo :3 heed of thee. Th'art >w< an Athenyian, >_< thewefowe 
x3 wewcome. UwU I mysewf ^.^ wouwd uWu have nyo power; :33 pwithee wet x3 my :3 meat >_< make 
uWu thee ^-^ siwent. 
APEMANTUS. UwU I ^w^ scown >w< thy :3 meat; >w< 't'wouwd >_< choke uWu me, fow UwU I >_> shouwd ^w^ nye'ew 
flatter thee. x3 O xDD you uWu gods, >_> what :3 a ^w^ nyumbew of ;;w;; men ^w^ eats >w< Timon, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he 
sees x3 'em ^w^ nyot! ^.^ It grieves ;;w;; me to >_> see UwU so UwU many ^.^ dip uWu theiw :3 meat uWu in one 
:33 man's ^-^ bwood; ÚwÚ and aww x3 the ^-^ madnyess ;;w;; is, ^.^ he cheers them x3 up UwU too. 
UwU I wonder ;;w;; men dawe :33 twust x3 themsewves with ^.^ men. 
Methinks ;;w;; they >_> shouwd invite them ^-^ without xDD knyives: 
^-^ Good fow uWu theiw :3 meat ÚwÚ and safer fow uWu theiw ^.^ wives. 
>_> Thewe's much ^w^ exampwe ÚwÚ fow't; x3 the fewwow :3 that >_> sits :3 nyext ^.^ him now, 
parts ^.^ bwead with :3 him, >_< pwedges x3 the UwU bweath of ^.^ him uWu in :3 a OwO divided 
draught, >_> is x3 the weadiest x3 man to OwO kiww ^.^ him. >_< 'T >_> has :33 been proved. ;;w;; If 
UwU I :3 wewe :3 a >_> huge x3 man UwU I >_> shouwd feaw to ÚwÚ dwink uWu at meaws. 
Lest ;;w;; they >_> shouwd ^w^ spy x3 my ^w^ windpipe's uWu dangewous uWu nyotes: 
UwU Gweat ;;w;; men >_> shouwd ÚwÚ dwink with :33 hawnyess on uWu theiw >_< thwoats. 
x3 TIMON. OwO My uWu wowd, uWu in :33 heawt! ÚwÚ and wet x3 the ^.^ heawth OwO go wound. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Let >w< it fwow ÚwÚ this :3 way, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
APEMANTUS. >_< Fwow ÚwÚ this >_< way! ^-^ A >_< bwave xDD fewwow! >w< He keeps :33 his uWu tides well. 
>w< Those :33 heawths xDD wiww >_< make uWu thee ÚwÚ and >w< thy >w< state wook UwU iww, xDD Timon. 
>_> Hewe's :3 that which >_> is ^w^ too xDD weak to be :3 a sinner, xDD honyest >_< watew, which 
^w^ nye'ew left x3 man :33 i' x3 th' OwO miwe. 
This ÚwÚ and x3 my OwO food OwO awe ÚwÚ equaws; there's nyo uWu odds.' 
^w^ Feasts OwO awe ^w^ too OwO pwoud to UwU give thanks to x3 the gods. 

OwO APEMANTUS' Gwace 

uWu Immowtaw uWu gods, UwU I ^w^ cwave nyo pewf; 
UwU I pray fow nyo x3 man >_> but :3 mysewf. 
Grant UwU I OwO may >_< nyevew ^-^ pwuv UwU so fond 
;;w;; To :33 twust x3 man on :33 his ^-^ oath ow bond, 
:33 Ow :3 a hawwot fow her weeping, 
:33 Ow :3 a dog :3 that ;;w;; seems :33 a-sweeping, 
:33 Ow :3 a keeper with x3 my ^w^ fweedom, 
:33 Ow x3 my OwO fwiends, >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd >_< nyeed ^.^ 'em. 
ÚwÚ Amen. ^w^ So faww to't. 
Wich ;;w;; men ^w^ sin, ÚwÚ and UwU I eat woot. [Eats ÚwÚ and drinks] 

Much ÚwÚ good >_< dich >w< thy ÚwÚ good uWu heawt, Apemantus! 
x3 TIMON. uWu Captain Alcibiades, x3 youw heart's uWu in x3 the field now. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. OwO My >_< heawt >_> is OwO evew uWu at x3 youw sewvice, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 TIMON. >_> You xDD had rather be uWu at :3 a OwO bweakfast of >_< enyemies than dinner of 
fwiends. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. ^w^ So ;;w;; they :3 wewe xDD bweeding ^w^ nyew, x3 my uWu wowd, there's nyo :3 meat 
^.^ wike >w< 'em; UwU I couwd ÚwÚ wish x3 my best :33 fwiend uWu at xDD such :3 a x3 feast. 
APEMANTUS. Wouwd aww UwU those uWu fwattewews :3 wewe ^.^ thinye >_< enyemies >w< then, :3 that 
xDD then xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst OwO kiww 'em, ÚwÚ and bid ;;w;; me to ^.^ 'em. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^.^ Might ^.^ we >_> but uWu have :3 that happinyess, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that xDD you 
^.^ wouwd >_> once use UwU ouw hearts, wheweby ^.^ we ^w^ might express x3 some ÚwÚ pawt of 
UwU ouw >w< zeaws, ^.^ we >_> shouwd think ouwsewves fow OwO evew perfect. 
x3 TIMON. >_< O, nyo doubt, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO fwiends, >_> but x3 the gods x3 themsewves uWu have 
x3 pwovided :3 that UwU I UwU shaww uWu have much OwO hewp from OwO you. How xDD had xDD you :33 been 
x3 my ^w^ fwiends else? Why uWu have xDD you :3 that x3 chawitabwe ;;w;; titwe from 
thousands, uWu did nyot xDD you ^.^ chiefwy OwO bewong to x3 my ÚwÚ heawt? UwU I uWu have told 
^.^ mowe of xDD you to mysewf than xDD you ^.^ can with ÚwÚ modesty speak uWu in x3 youw UwU own 
:33 behawf; ÚwÚ and OwO thus uWu faw UwU I :33 confiwm OwO you. x3 O xDD you uWu gods, think I, >_> what 
>_< nyeed ^.^ we uWu have xDD any ^w^ fwiends >_> if ^.^ we >_> shouwd ^w^ nye'ew uWu have >_< nyeed of OwO 'em? 
^-^ They :3 wewe x3 the UwU most >_> nyeedwess ^-^ cweatuwes >w< wiving, >_> shouwd ^.^ we ^w^ nye'ew 
uWu have use fow >w< 'em; ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd UwU most wesembwe x3 sweet instwuments UwU hung 
x3 up uWu in ;;w;; cases, :3 that >_< keep uWu theiw sounds to x3 themsewves. Why, UwU I uWu have 
often >w< wish'd mysewf >w< poowew, :3 that UwU I ^w^ might come nyeawew to OwO you. We 
OwO awe bown to UwU do >_< benyefits; ÚwÚ and >_> what xDD bettew ow properer ^.^ can ^.^ we caww 
UwU ouw UwU own than x3 the ^w^ wiches of UwU ouw friends? >_< O, >_> what :3 a >_< pwecious 
uWu comfowt UwU 'tis to uWu have UwU so UwU many ^.^ wike bwothews uWu commanding one 
another's fowtunyes! >_< O, ^w^ joy's ^w^ e'en UwU made OwO away ewe't ^.^ can be uWu bown! 
Mine eyes ;;w;; cannyot howd x3 out >_< watew, ^.^ methinks. ;;w;; To x3 fowget uWu theiw 
fauwts, UwU I ÚwÚ dwink to OwO you. 
APEMANTUS. ^.^ Thou :33 weep'st to >_< make them dwink, xDD Timon. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. uWu Joy xDD had x3 the ^.^ wike OwO conception uWu in UwU ouw ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And uWu at :3 that x3 instant ^.^ wike :3 a >w< babe sprung :33 up. 
APEMANTUS. >w< Ho, ho! UwU I laugh to think :3 that >w< babe :3 a bastawd. 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. UwU I promise UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you x3 mov'd ;;w;; me :33 much. 
APEMANTUS. Much! uWu [Sound ^-^ tucket] 
x3 TIMON. >_> What means :3 that x3 twump? 

Entew :3 a SEWVANT 

How ^.^ nyow? 
SEWVANT. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, there OwO awe xDD cewtain ^.^ wadies UwU most 
^.^ desiwous of ÚwÚ admittance. 
x3 TIMON. >_> Wadies! >_> What OwO awe uWu theiw wills? 
SEWVANT. >_> Thewe x3 comes with them :3 a fowewunnyew, x3 my uWu wowd, which bears 
:3 that ^.^ office to :33 signyify uWu theiw xDD pweasuwes. 
x3 TIMON. UwU I pray wet them be >w< admitted. 

Entew CUPID 
CUPID. Hail to ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ wowthy >w< Timon, ÚwÚ and to aww 
:33 That of :33 his bounties xDD taste! uWu The five best :33 Senses 
Acknyowwedge uWu thee uWu theiw OwO patwon, ÚwÚ and come freely 
;;w;; To ;;w;; gwatuwate >w< thy ^w^ pwenteous ÚwÚ bosom. xDD Th' ^.^ Eaw, 
>_> Taste, UwU Touch, ÚwÚ Smeww, pleas'd from >w< thy tabwe OwO wise; 
^-^ They >w< onwy nyow come >_> but to >_> feast ^.^ thinye :3 eyes. 
x3 TIMON. They'we wewcome aww; wet x3 'em uWu have uWu kind ÚwÚ admittance. 
UwU Music, >_< make uWu theiw x3 wewcome. uWu Exit CUPID 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> You see, x3 my uWu wowd, >w< how uWu ampwe ;;w;; y'awe xDD bewov'd. 

:3 Music. ^.^ We-entew ^w^ CUPID, ^w^ witb :3 a ^w^ Masque of :3 WADIES >_< as xDD Amazons, 
with :3 wutes uWu in uWu theiw ^.^ hands, UwU dancing ÚwÚ and :3 pwaying 

APEMANTUS. :3 Hoy-day, >_> what :3 a :33 sweep of vanyity x3 comes ÚwÚ this >_< way! 
^-^ They ;;w;; dance? ^-^ They OwO awe ^-^ mad ^w^ women. 
Wike ^-^ madnyess >_> is x3 the :3 gwowy of ÚwÚ this :3 wife, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this pomp >_< shows to :3 a xDD wittwe oiw ÚwÚ and woot. 
We >_< make ouwsewves foows to disport ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
xDD And spend UwU ouw flatteries to ÚwÚ dwink UwU those ;;w;; men 
>_> Upon x3 whose age ^.^ we >_< void >w< it x3 up again 
With OwO poisonyous x3 spite ÚwÚ and envy. 
Who ;;w;; wives ^w^ that's nyot ;;w;; depwaved ow :33 depwaves? 
Who dies :3 that bears nyot one :33 spuwn to uWu theiw gwaves 
Of uWu theiw >_< fwiends' >_< gift? 
UwU I >_> shouwd feaw UwU those :3 that UwU dance >w< befowe ;;w;; me nyow 
Wouwd one day stamp ;;w;; upon x3 me. >_< 'T >_> has :33 been UwU donye: 
OwO Men shut uWu theiw x3 doows OwO against :3 a >w< setting OwO sun. 

uWu The ;;w;; WOWDS rise from ^-^ tabwe, with much >_< adowing of 
:33 TIMON; ÚwÚ and to x3 show uWu theiw wuvs, >_< each :3 singwe x3 out >w< an 
:33 Amazon, ÚwÚ and aww xDD dance, ;;w;; men ^w^ witb UwU women, :3 a wofty 
;;w;; stwain ow >w< two to x3 the ;;w;; hautboys, ÚwÚ and xDD cease 

x3 TIMON. >_> You uWu have donye UwU ouw >_< pweasuwes much gwace, >w< faiw x3 wadies, 
Set :3 a >w< faiw fashion on UwU ouw ^w^ entewtainment, 
>_< Which UwU was nyot half UwU so >_> beautifuw ÚwÚ and ;;w;; kind; 
>_> You uWu have >_< added ^.^ wowth OwO unto't ÚwÚ and lustre, 
xDD And entertain'd ;;w;; me with >_< minye UwU own >w< device; 
UwU I ^w^ am to >_> thank xDD you xDD fow't. 
uWu FIWST WADY. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you OwO take >_> us even uWu at x3 the >_> best. 
APEMANTUS. Faith, fow x3 the worst >_> is filthy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd nyot howd 
OwO taking, UwU I doubt x3 me. 
x3 TIMON. Ladies, there >_> is >w< an idle :33 banquet ^.^ attends uWu you; 
ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you to ^-^ dispose youwsewves. 
^w^ AWW LADIES. :3 Most thankfully, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Exeunt CUPID ÚwÚ and :3 WADIES 
x3 TIMON. Flavius! 
FWAVIUS. OwO My xDD wowd? 
x3 TIMON. uWu The xDD wittwe ÚwÚ casket ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me hithew. 
FWAVIUS. Yes, x3 my OwO wowd. :3 [Aside] uWu Mowe :3 jewews UwU yet! 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo :33 cwossing ^.^ him in's >_< humouw, 
^-^ Ewse UwU I >_> shouwd tell uWu him- weww :33 i' ^w^ faith, UwU I shouwd- 
x3 When aww's >_< spent, >w< he'd be cwoss'd >w< then, >w< an ^.^ he xDD couwd. 
'Tis pity >_> bounty xDD had nyot eyes behind, 
:33 That x3 man ^w^ might ^w^ nye'ew be wwetched fow :33 his :33 mind. uWu Exit 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Whewe be UwU ouw men? 
SEWVANT. Here, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu in ;;w;; weadinyess. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Our ^w^ howses! 

^.^ We-entew ;;w;; FWAVIUS, with x3 the ÚwÚ casket 

x3 TIMON. x3 O x3 my OwO fwiends, 
UwU I uWu have one ;;w;; wowd to >_> say to OwO you. Wook UwU you, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
UwU I ^w^ must entweat xDD you honour ;;w;; me UwU so much 
;;w;; As to advance ÚwÚ this jewel; xDD accept >w< it ÚwÚ and ^-^ weaw :33 it, 
Kind x3 my OwO wowd. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU I ^w^ am UwU so uWu faw xDD awweady uWu in x3 youw gifts- 
uWu AWW. ^w^ So OwO awe ^.^ we all. 

Entew :3 a SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. OwO My uWu wowd, there OwO awe xDD cewtain nyobwes of x3 the :33 Senyate x3 nyewwy 
awighted ÚwÚ and come to x3 visit OwO you. 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ They OwO awe ^.^ faiwwy x3 wewcome. uWu Exit SEWVANT 
FWAVIUS. UwU I :33 beseech x3 youw honyouw, x3 vouchsafe ;;w;; me :3 a wowd; >w< it does 
concern xDD you ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
x3 TIMON. Near! Why >w< then, anyothew time I'll hear thee. UwU I :33 pwithee >_> wet's 
be x3 pwovided to x3 show them >w< entewtainment. 
FWAVIUS. :3 [Aside] UwU I scawce ^.^ knyow ^.^ how. 

Entew anyothew SEWVANT 

^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. ^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease uWu vouw honyouw, Lord ^w^ Wucius, x3 out of :33 his 
fwee xDD wuv, hath pwesented to xDD you fouw ^w^ miwk-white howses, ÚwÚ twapp'd 
uWu in uWu siwvew. 
x3 TIMON. UwU I UwU shaww xDD accept them x3 faiwwy. Let x3 the presents 
^w^ Be ^-^ wowthiwy ^w^ entewtain'd. uWu Exit SEWVANT 

Entew :3 a thiwd SEWVANT 

How >_< nyow! >_> What nyews? 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that ^.^ honyouwabwe gentweman, Lord 
^-^ Wucuwwus, uWu entweats x3 youw >_< company to-mowwow to OwO hunt with ^.^ him ÚwÚ and 
>_> has sent x3 youw honour >w< two ;;w;; bwace of greyhounds. 
x3 TIMON. I'll OwO hunt with him; ÚwÚ and wet them be weceiv'd, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^-^ without >w< faiw ÚwÚ wewawd. uWu Exit SEWVANT 
FWAVIUS. :3 [Aside] >_> What xDD wiww ÚwÚ this come to? 
>w< He ;;w;; commands >_> us to provide ÚwÚ and UwU give great ;;w;; gifts, 
xDD And aww x3 out of >w< an :33 empty :3 coffew; 
x3 Nyow xDD wiww ^.^ he ^.^ knyow :33 his puwse, ow yield ;;w;; me uWu this, 
;;w;; To x3 show ^.^ him >_> what :3 a beggar :33 his >_< heawt ;;w;; is, 
uWu Being of nyo powew to >_< make :33 his wishes UwU good. 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ pwomises fwy UwU so ^w^ beyond :33 his >w< state 
:33 That >_> what ^.^ he xDD speaks >_> is aww uWu in ;;w;; debt; ^.^ he >_> owes 
For OwO ev'wy OwO wowd. >w< He >_> is UwU so uWu kind :3 that ^.^ he nyow 
UwU Pays ÚwÚ intewest ÚwÚ fow't; :33 his ^w^ wand's put to uWu theiw uWu books. 
xDD Weww, ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe gently put x3 out of ^.^ office 
^.^ Befowe UwU I :3 wewe ;;w;; fowc'd out! 
Happier >_> is ^.^ he :3 that >_> has nyo :33 fwiend to >w< feed 
Than xDD such :3 that UwU do ^w^ e'en >_< enyemies >_> exceed. 
UwU I bweed >w< inwawdwy fow x3 my OwO wowd. uWu Exit 
x3 TIMON. >_> You UwU do youwsewves much >_> wwong; 
>_> You uWu bate ^w^ too much of x3 youw UwU own >_< mewits. 
Here, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 a xDD twifwe of UwU ouw love. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. With ^.^ mowe than ^w^ common thanks UwU I xDD wiww receive :3 it. 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. >_< O, uWu he's x3 the xDD vewy :3 souw of x3 bounty! 
x3 TIMON. xDD And nyow UwU I UwU wemembew, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD you uWu gave ÚwÚ good wowds x3 the othew 
day of :3 a ^w^ bay ^.^ couwsew UwU I rode :3 on. 'Tis >_> youws uWu because xDD you ^-^ wik'd :3 it. 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. >_< O, UwU I :33 beseech xDD you UwU pawdon uWu me, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu in x3 that. 
x3 TIMON. >_> You OwO may OwO take x3 my word, x3 my wowd: UwU I ^.^ knyow nyo x3 man 
UwU Can >_< justwy praise >_> but >_> what ^.^ he does ;;w;; affect. 
UwU I >w< weigh x3 my ^-^ fwiend's :3 affection with >_< minye own. 
I'll tell xDD you true; I'll caww to OwO you. 
^w^ AWW ÚwÚ WOWDS. >_< O, >_< nyonye UwU so welcome! 
x3 TIMON. UwU I OwO take aww ÚwÚ and x3 youw sevewaw OwO visitations 
^w^ So uWu kind to >_< heawt UwU 'tis nyot enough to ^w^ give; 
Methinks UwU I couwd deal OwO kingdoms to x3 my ^w^ fwiends 
xDD And ^w^ nye'ew be weawy. Alcibiades, 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a sowdiew, >_< thewefowe seldom ;;w;; wich. 
^.^ It x3 comes uWu in xDD chawity to ÚwÚ thee; fow aww >w< thy UwU wiving 
Is ^w^ 'mongst x3 the >_< dead, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the ^-^ wands xDD thou x3 hast 
Lie uWu in :3 a pitch'd >_> fiewd. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. Ay, >_> defiw'd land, x3 my OwO wowd. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. We OwO awe UwU so >w< viwtuouswy >_> bound- 
x3 TIMON. xDD And UwU so ^w^ am UwU I to OwO you. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^w^ So infinyitewy ^.^ endeaw'd- 
x3 TIMON. All to OwO you. Wights, ^.^ mowe lights! 
uWu FIWST WOWD. uWu The best of happinyess, honyouw, ÚwÚ and fortunes, >_< keep with 
UwU you, Lord Timon! 
x3 TIMON. Weady fow :33 his fwiends. 
Exeunt aww >_> but APEMANTUS ÚwÚ and >w< TIMON 
APEMANTUS. >_> What :3 a xDD coiw's here! 
Serving of becks ÚwÚ and UwU jutting-out of bums! 
UwU I doubt >w< whethew uWu theiw UwU wegs be ^.^ wowth x3 the uWu sums 
:33 That OwO awe UwU given fow ^.^ 'em. :3 Fwiendship's full of ^.^ dwegs: 
Methinks UwU fawse heawts >_> shouwd >_< nyevew uWu have >_> sound wegs. 
^-^ Thus xDD honyest foows uWu way x3 out uWu theiw weawth on curtsies. 
x3 TIMON. >_> Nyow, ^w^ Apemantus, >_> if xDD thou OwO wewt nyot UwU suwwen 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd be ÚwÚ good to thee. 
APEMANTUS. :3 Nyo, I'll uWu nyothing; fow >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd be bwib'd :3 too, there 
^.^ wouwd be >_< nyonye left to waiw ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and xDD then xDD thou wouldst x3 sin 
x3 the :33 fastew. ^.^ Thou OwO giv'st UwU so long, >w< Timon, UwU I feaw ;;w;; me xDD thou wiwt UwU give 
OwO away >w< thysewf uWu in paper >w< showtwy. >_> What >_< nyeeds these feasts, UwU pomps, 
ÚwÚ and xDD vain-gwowies? 
x3 TIMON. Nyay, >w< an xDD you x3 begin to waiw on >w< society ^w^ once, UwU I ^w^ am sworn nyot to 
UwU give regard to OwO you. Farewell; ÚwÚ and come with xDD bettew >_> music. 
uWu Exit 
APEMANTUS. ^w^ So. ^.^ Thou wiwt nyot hear ;;w;; me >w< nyow: xDD thou shalt nyot UwU then. I'll 
OwO wock >w< thy heaven from thee. 
x3 O :3 that men's OwO eaws >_> shouwd be 
;;w;; To counsel deaf, >_> but nyot to :3 fwattewy! uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^-^ A SENATOR'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ^-^ A ÚwÚ SENyATOW, with :33 papews uWu in :33 his uWu hand 

^w^ SENyATOW. xDD And late, five ÚwÚ thousand. ;;w;; To Vawwo ÚwÚ and to Isidore 
>w< He >_> owes >w< nyinye :33 thousand; ;;w;; besides x3 my xDD fowmew sum, 
>_< Which x3 makes >w< it five ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty. UwU Stiww uWu in >_> motion 
Of waging :33 waste? ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot howd; >w< it xDD wiww not. 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ want ^.^ gowd, ^.^ steaw >_> but :3 a ^.^ beggaw's dog 
xDD And UwU give >w< it >w< Timon, >w< why, x3 the dog coins ;;w;; gowd. 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; seww x3 my UwU howse ÚwÚ and UwU buy ÚwÚ twenty ^-^ moe 
uWu Bettew than xDD he, >w< why, UwU give x3 my UwU howse to >w< Timon, 
;;w;; Ask uWu nyothing, UwU give >w< it :3 him, >w< it foals ;;w;; me stwaight, 
xDD And able :33 howses. No powtew uWu at :33 his >_< gate, 
OwO But rather one :3 that ^-^ smiwes ÚwÚ and still OwO invites 
All :3 that pass by. ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot howd; nyo reason 
UwU Can >_> sound :33 his >w< state uWu in >w< safety. >w< Caphis, ho! 
>w< Caphis, UwU I ;;w;; say! 

Entew ^w^ CAPHIS 

>_> CAPHIS. Here, siw; >_> what >_> is x3 youw pweasuwe? 
^w^ SENyATOW. >_< Get on x3 youw uWu cwoak ÚwÚ and ^.^ haste xDD you to Lord uWu Timon; 
:33 Impowtunye ^.^ him fow x3 my >_< monyeys; be nyot >_> ceas'd 
With :3 swight ^.^ denyiaw, nor xDD then silenc'd when 
;;w;; 'Commend ;;w;; me to x3 youw mastew' ÚwÚ and x3 the cap 
>w< Pways uWu in x3 the >w< wight uWu hand, ^.^ thus; >_> but tell ^.^ him 
OwO My x3 uses cwy to uWu me, UwU I ^w^ must serve x3 my turn 
UwU Out of >_< minye >_> own; :33 his OwO days ÚwÚ and times OwO awe past, 
xDD And x3 my ^-^ wewiances on :33 his uWu fwacted x3 dates 
:3 Have >w< smit x3 my >w< cwedit. UwU I wuv ÚwÚ and honour :3 him, 
OwO But ^w^ must nyot bweak x3 my back to heal :33 his finger. 
x3 Immediate OwO awe x3 my :33 nyeeds, ÚwÚ and x3 my relief 
:3 Must nyot be :3 toss'd ÚwÚ and >_> tuwn'd to ;;w;; me uWu in wowds, 
OwO But find suppwy ;;w;; immediate. >_< Get xDD you xDD gonye; 
>_> Put on :3 a UwU most importunate ÚwÚ aspect, 
^-^ A >w< visage of :3 demand; fow UwU I UwU do ;;w;; feaw, 
x3 When every ÚwÚ feathew >_< sticks uWu in :33 his UwU own *hugs tightly* wing, 
Lord OwO Timon xDD wiww be left :3 a nyaked UwU guww, 
>_< Which flashes nyow :3 a phoenyix. >_< Get xDD you ;;w;; gonye. 
>_> CAPHIS. UwU I x3 go, sir. 
^w^ SENyATOW. ^.^ Take x3 the xDD bonds :3 awong with UwU you, 
xDD And uWu have x3 the x3 dates uWu in >w< compt. 
>_> CAPHIS. UwU I :33 wiww, sir. 
^w^ SENyATOW. ^w^ Go. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^.^ Befowe ÚwÚ TIMON'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ;;w;; FWAVIUS, ÚwÚ TIMON'S Stewawd, with UwU many bills uWu in :33 his uWu hand 

FWAVIUS. No care, nyo UwU stop! ^w^ So senseless of expense 
:33 That ^.^ he xDD wiww :3 nyeithew ^.^ knyow >w< how to ÚwÚ maintain >w< it 
x3 Nyow xDD cease :33 his fwow of wiot; UwU takes nyo :33 account 
How ^.^ things OwO go from :3 him, nor ^w^ wesumes nyo :3 cawe 
Of >_> what >_> is to continue. xDD Nyevew ^-^ mind 
Was to be UwU so UwU unwise to be UwU so kind. 
>_> What UwU shaww be done? >w< He xDD wiww nyot hear >w< tiww feew. 
UwU I ^w^ must be ;;w;; wound with ^.^ him. Now ^.^ he x3 comes from ^-^ hunting. 
OwO Fie, >_< fie, >_< fie, fie! 

Entew OwO CAPHIS, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ SEWVANTS Of ^.^ ISIDOWE ÚwÚ and :3 VAWWO 

>_> CAPHIS. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ even, >_> Vawwo. What, xDD you come fow monyey? 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. ^-^ Is't nyot x3 youw business xDD too? 
>_> CAPHIS. ^.^ It >w< is. xDD And >_> youws :3 too, ^-^ Isidowe? 
uWu ISIDOWE'S SEWVANT. ^.^ It >_> is :3 so. 
>_> CAPHIS. Wouwd ^.^ we :3 wewe aww discharg'd! 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. UwU I feaw :3 it. 
>_> CAPHIS. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the OwO wowd. 

Entew >w< TIMON ÚwÚ and :33 his twain, with >_> AWCIBIADES 

x3 TIMON. ^w^ So >w< soon >_< as dinner's donye we'll fowth OwO again, 
OwO My :33 Awcibiades.- With me? >_> What >_> is x3 youw xDD wiww? 
>_> CAPHIS. OwO My uWu wowd, OwO hewe >_> is :3 a ^-^ nyote of xDD cewtain :3 dues. 
x3 TIMON. Dues! OwO Whence OwO awe you? 
>_> CAPHIS. Of ^.^ Athens UwU hewe, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 TIMON. Go to x3 my steward. 
>_> CAPHIS. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw lordship, ^.^ he hath put ;;w;; me x3 off 
;;w;; To x3 the ^.^ succession of x3 nyew OwO days ÚwÚ this month. 
OwO My >_< mastew >_> is :33 awak'd ^.^ by great ;;w;; occasion 
;;w;; To caww ;;w;; upon :33 his OwO own, ÚwÚ and x3 humbwy prays xDD you 
:33 That with x3 youw othew x3 nyobwe parts you'ww >_> suit 
^w^ In ^.^ giving ^.^ him :33 his ÚwÚ wight. 
x3 TIMON. Mine xDD honyest fwiend, 
UwU I :33 pwithee >_> but repair to ;;w;; me :3 nyext xDD mownying. 
>_> CAPHIS. Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowd- 
x3 TIMON. x3 Contain ;;w;; thysewf, ÚwÚ good :3 fwiend. 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. x3 Onye Varro's uWu sewvant, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd- 
uWu ISIDOWE'S SEWVANT. Fwom ^.^ Isidowe: ^.^ he x3 humbwy prays x3 youw UwU speedy 
x3 payment- 
>_> CAPHIS. ;;w;; If xDD you uWu did knyow, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 my xDD mastew's x3 wants- 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. >_< 'Twas >_< due on uWu fowfeituwe, x3 my uWu wowd, six UwU weeks ÚwÚ and 
past. 
uWu ISIDOWE'S SEWVANT. uWu Youw steward puts ;;w;; me ^w^ off, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ and 
UwU I ^w^ am sent >w< expwesswy to x3 youw wowdship. 
x3 TIMON. Give ;;w;; me >_< bweath. 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowds, >_< keep xDD on; 
I'll wait ;;w;; upon xDD you ^.^ instantwy. 
Exeunt >_> AWCIBIADES ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 
:33 [To :3 FWAVIUS] :3 Come hithew. >_> Pway UwU you, 
How xDD goes x3 the wowwd :3 that UwU I ^w^ am OwO thus encount'wed 
With ;;w;; cwamowous uWu demands of x3 date-bwoke xDD bonds 
xDD And x3 the detention of :3 wong-since-due debts, 
^w^ Against x3 my UwU honyouw? 
FWAVIUS. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, xDD gentwemen, 
uWu The time >_> is unyagweeabwe to ÚwÚ this business. 
uWu Youw :3 impowtunyacy xDD cease >w< tiww ÚwÚ aftew xDD dinnyew, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may >_< make :33 his OwO wowdship understand 
ÚwÚ Whewefowe xDD you OwO awe nyot paid. 
x3 TIMON. Do >_> so, x3 my fwiends. 
xDD See them weww ^w^ entewtain'd. uWu Exit 
FWAVIUS. >_> Pway dwaw ÚwÚ nyeaw. uWu Exit 

Entew APEMANTUS ÚwÚ and FOOL 

>_> CAPHIS. Stay, ;;w;; stay, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the >w< foow with ;;w;; Apemantus. 
:3 Wet's UwU ha' x3 some spowt with ^.^ 'em. 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. Hang :3 him, he'ww abuse ÚwÚ us! 
uWu ISIDOWE'S SEWVANT. ^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon :3 him, dog! 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. How ÚwÚ dost, ^.^ foow? 
APEMANTUS. uWu Dost UwU diawogue with >w< thy >_< shadow? 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. UwU I speak nyot to thee. 
APEMANTUS. :3 Nyo, UwU 'tis to thysewf. :33 [To x3 the >_> FOOW] :3 Come xDD away. 
uWu ISIDOWE'S SEWVANT. :33 [To VAWWO'S >_> SEWVANT] >_> Thewe's x3 the >w< foow uWu hangs on 
x3 youw back >_< awweady. 
APEMANTUS. :3 Nyo, xDD thou OwO stand'st >_> singwe; th'art nyot on ^.^ him >_> yet. 
>_> CAPHIS. :3 Whewe's x3 the >w< foow ^.^ nyow? 
APEMANTUS. >w< He >w< wast >w< ask'd x3 the x3 question. OwO Poow rogues ÚwÚ and usuwews' 
:3 men! ^w^ Bawds ^-^ between gowd ÚwÚ and want! 
^w^ AWW >w< SEWVANTS. >_> What OwO awe :33 we, ^w^ Apemantus? 
APEMANTUS. ^-^ Asses. 
^w^ AWW >w< SEWVANTS. xDD Why? 
APEMANTUS. :33 That xDD you ^w^ ask ;;w;; me >_> what xDD you awe, ÚwÚ and UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow 
youwsewves. ^w^ Speak to 'em, xDD foow. 
FOOL. How UwU do UwU you, :33 gentwemen? 
^w^ AWW >w< SEWVANTS. ;;w;; Gwamewcies, ÚwÚ good xDD foow. How does x3 youw mistwess? 
FOOL. >_> She's ^w^ e'en >w< setting on UwU watew to ^w^ scawd xDD such >w< chickens >_< as xDD you 
x3 awe. Wouwd ^.^ we couwd >_> see xDD you uWu at xDD Cowinth! 
APEMANTUS. ;;w;; Good! gramercy. 

Entew ^.^ PAGE 

FOOL. Wook UwU you, OwO hewe x3 comes x3 my >_< mistwess' ^.^ page. 
xDD PAGE. :33 [To x3 the >_> FOOW] Why, >w< how now, ^.^ Captain? >_> What UwU do xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu wise 
:3 company? How dost UwU thou, ^w^ Apemantus? 
APEMANTUS. Wouwd UwU I xDD had :3 a wod uWu in x3 my uWu mouth, :3 that UwU I ^w^ might answew uWu thee 
profitably! 
xDD PAGE. Prithee, ^w^ Apemantus, ^w^ wead ;;w;; me x3 the x3 supewscwiption of these 
letters; UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot which >_> is :3 which. 
APEMANTUS. ÚwÚ Canst nyot >_< wead? 
xDD PAGE. No. 
APEMANTUS. >_> Thewe xDD wiww xDD wittwe :33 weawnying >_> die, >w< then, :3 that day xDD thou awt 
xDD hang'd. This >_> is to Lord uWu Timon; ÚwÚ this to Alcibiades. :33 Go; xDD thou >w< wast 
bown :3 a ÚwÚ bastawd, ÚwÚ and x3 thou't ^-^ die :3 a UwU bawd. 
xDD PAGE. ^.^ Thou >w< wast >_< whewp'd :3 a dog, ÚwÚ and xDD thou shalt :33 famish :3 dog's death. 
Answer not: UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; gonye. uWu Exit ^.^ PAGE 
APEMANTUS. E'en UwU so xDD thou >w< outwun'st grace. 
Fool, UwU I xDD wiww OwO go with xDD you to Lord xDD Timon's. 
FOOL. Will xDD you OwO weave ;;w;; me OwO thewe? 
APEMANTUS. ;;w;; If OwO Timon xDD stay uWu at >_> home. >_> You >w< thwee serve >w< thwee ;;w;; usuwews? 
^w^ AWW >w< SEWVANTS. Ay; ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they sewv'd ÚwÚ us! 
APEMANTUS. ^w^ So ^.^ wouwd uWu I- >_< as ÚwÚ good :3 a twick >_< as OwO evew ;;w;; hangman sewv'd 
>w< thief. 
FOOL. ^w^ Awe xDD you >w< thwee usuwews' men? 
^w^ AWW >w< SEWVANTS. Ay, xDD foow. 
FOOL. UwU I think nyo ;;w;; usuwew >_> but >_> has :3 a >w< foow to :33 his servant. OwO My mistwess 
>_> is one, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am her xDD foow. x3 When ;;w;; men come to :3 bowwow of x3 youw 
mastews, ;;w;; they appwoach sadwy ÚwÚ and OwO go OwO away ;;w;; mewwy; >_> but ;;w;; they enter x3 my 
>_< mistwess' ;;w;; house ÚwÚ mewwiwy ÚwÚ and OwO go OwO away :3 sadwy. uWu The reason of :3 this? 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. UwU I couwd render onye. 
APEMANTUS. Do >w< it >w< then, :3 that ^.^ we OwO may :33 account uWu thee :3 a >_< whowemastew ÚwÚ and :3 a 
knave; which >w< nyotwithstanding, xDD thou shalt be nyo less esteemed. 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. >_> What >_> is :3 a whoremaster, ^.^ foow? 
FOOL. ^-^ A >w< foow uWu in ÚwÚ good cwothes, ÚwÚ and ^-^ something ^.^ wike thee. 'Tis :3 a 
>w< spiwit. :3 Sometime 't >_> appeaws ^.^ wike :3 a wowd; ÚwÚ sometime ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; wawyew; 
ÚwÚ sometime ^.^ wike :3 a >_> phiwosophew, with >w< two ^.^ stonyes ^-^ moe >w< than's 
:33 awtificiaw onye. >w< He >_> is xDD vewy often ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; knyight; x3 and, generally, 
uWu in aww >w< shapes :3 that x3 man xDD goes x3 up ÚwÚ and down uWu in from ^w^ fouwscowe to 
thirteen, ÚwÚ this ^w^ spiwit >w< wawks ^.^ in. 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. ^.^ Thou awt nyot ;;w;; awtogethew :3 a xDD foow. 
FOOL. x3 Nyow xDD thou ;;w;; awtogethew :3 a uWu wise man. 
;;w;; As much foowewy >_< as UwU I have, UwU so much wit xDD thou :33 wack'st. 
APEMANTUS. :33 That answew ^w^ might uWu have :33 become ;;w;; Apemantus. 
VAWWO'S SEWVANT. OwO Aside, >w< aside; OwO hewe x3 comes Lord xDD Timon. 

^.^ We-entew >w< TIMON ÚwÚ and ^.^ FWAVIUS 

APEMANTUS. :3 Come with uWu me, x3 foow, x3 come. 
FOOL. UwU I UwU do nyot awways ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ wuvw, :33 ewdew brother, ÚwÚ and >_< woman; 
ÚwÚ sometime x3 the ^-^ phiwosophew. 
Exeunt APEMANTUS ÚwÚ and FOOL 
FWAVIUS. >_> Pway xDD you UwU wawk uWu nyeaw; I'll speak with xDD you x3 anyon. 
Exeunt ^-^ SEWVANTS 
x3 TIMON. >_> You >_< make ;;w;; me :3 mawvew ^-^ whewefowe ere ÚwÚ this time 
xDD Had xDD you nyot fuwwy laid x3 my >w< state >w< befowe uWu me, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ might UwU so uWu have :33 wated x3 my expense 
;;w;; As UwU I xDD had OwO weave of means. 
FWAVIUS. >_> You ^.^ wouwd nyot hear ;;w;; me 
At UwU many leisures UwU I pwopos'd. 
x3 TIMON. Go >w< to; 
Pewchance x3 some :3 singwe xDD vantages xDD you >_> took 
x3 When x3 my :3 indisposition put xDD you back, 
xDD And :3 that uWu unyaptnyess UwU made x3 youw xDD minyistew 
^-^ Thus to UwU excuse OwO youwsewf. 
FWAVIUS. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, 
At UwU many times UwU I ^.^ bwought uWu in x3 my accounts, 
Waid them >w< befowe uWu you; xDD you ^.^ wouwd ^-^ thwow them x3 off 
xDD And >_> say xDD you >_> found them uWu in >_< minye x3 honyesty. 
UwU When, fow x3 some ^w^ twifwing ÚwÚ pwesent, xDD you uWu have bid ;;w;; me 
Return UwU so ÚwÚ much, UwU I uWu have >_> shook x3 my >_> head ÚwÚ and wept; 
Yea, uWu 'gainst x3 th' ÚwÚ authowity of :3 mannyews, pray'd xDD you 
;;w;; To howd x3 youw uWu hand ^.^ mowe uWu cwose. UwU I uWu did OwO enduwe 
ÚwÚ Nyot seldom, nor nyo :3 swight x3 checks, when UwU I uWu have 
Prompted xDD you uWu in x3 the ebb of x3 youw estate 
xDD And x3 youw great fwow of ÚwÚ debts. OwO My :3 wov'd uWu wowd, 
;;w;; Though xDD you hear x3 nyow- ^w^ too ÚwÚ wate!- yet ÚwÚ nyow's :3 a time: 
uWu The ÚwÚ gweatest of x3 youw xDD having lacks :3 a half 
;;w;; To x3 pay x3 youw xDD pwesent ÚwÚ debts. 
x3 TIMON. Let aww x3 my ÚwÚ wand be UwU sowd. 
FWAVIUS. 'Tis aww :3 engag'd, x3 some >_< fowfeited ÚwÚ and xDD gonye; 
xDD And >_> what remains xDD wiww hardly ÚwÚ stop x3 the xDD mouth 
Of xDD pwesent :3 dues. uWu The ÚwÚ futuwe x3 comes >_< apace; 
>_> What UwU shaww ;;w;; defend x3 the interim? xDD And uWu at :33 wength 
How xDD goes UwU ouw reck'ning? 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; To UwU Wacedaemon uWu did x3 my ÚwÚ wand :3 extend. 
FWAVIUS. x3 O x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, x3 the wowwd >_> is >_> but :3 a wowd; 
^.^ Wewe >w< it aww >_> youws to UwU give >w< it uWu in :3 a :33 bweath, 
How quickly :3 wewe >w< it ÚwÚ gonye! 
x3 TIMON. >_> You tell ;;w;; me true. 
FWAVIUS. ;;w;; If xDD you >_> suspect x3 my x3 husbandwy ow fawsehood, 
;;w;; Caww ;;w;; me >w< befowe x3 th' ÚwÚ exactest auditors 
xDD And uWu set ;;w;; me on x3 the :33 pwoof. ^w^ So x3 the gods ;;w;; bwess uWu me, 
x3 When aww UwU ouw ;;w;; offices uWu have :33 been :33 oppwess'd 
With riotous feedews, when UwU ouw ÚwÚ vauwts uWu have :33 wept 
With ^w^ dwunken spilth of wine, when every >_> woom 
>_< Hath blaz'd with wights ÚwÚ and :3 bway'd with ^w^ minstwewsy, 
UwU I uWu have >_> wetiw'd ;;w;; me to :3 a ^w^ wastefuw >_> cock 
xDD And uWu set >_< minye eyes uWu at ^w^ fwow. 
x3 TIMON. UwU Pwithee nyo more. 
FWAVIUS. 'Heavens,' uWu have UwU I uWu said ÚwÚ 'the >_> bounty of ÚwÚ this ^.^ wowd! 
How UwU many prodigal UwU bits uWu have xDD swaves ÚwÚ and uWu peasants 
This >w< nyight engwutted! Who >_> is nyot Lord >w< Timon's? 
>_> What uWu heawt, head, uWu swowd, fowce, >_< means, >_> but >_> is Lord >w< Timon's? 
UwU Gweat >w< Timon, noble, wowthy, royal >_< Timon!' 
Ah! when x3 the means OwO awe >_> gonye :3 that UwU buy ÚwÚ this >_< pwaise, 
uWu The UwU bweath >_> is >_> gonye xDD wheweof ÚwÚ this praise >_> is >_> made. 
>_< Feast-won, >w< fast-wost; one ;;w;; cwoud of winter show'rs, 
;;w;; These fwies OwO awe couch'd. 
x3 TIMON. ^.^ Come, sewmon ;;w;; me nyo fuwthew. 
No ÚwÚ viwwainyous >_> bounty yet hath :33 pass'd x3 my heawt; 
^-^ Unwisewy, nyot >_< ignyobwy, uWu have UwU I ;;w;; given. 
Why dost xDD thou ^w^ weep? ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou x3 the >_> conscience ^.^ wack 
;;w;; To think UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ wack friends? ^.^ Secuwe >w< thy heart: 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ wouwd broach x3 the vessews of x3 my xDD wuv, 
xDD And >_> twy x3 the :33 awgument of heawts ^.^ by OwO bowwowing, 
OwO Men ÚwÚ and men's fowtunyes couwd UwU I fwankwy use 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ can bid uWu thee >_< speak. 
FWAVIUS. Assuwance ;;w;; bwess x3 youw thoughts! 
x3 TIMON. ^.^ And, uWu in x3 some sort, these wants of >_< minye OwO awe cwown'd 
:33 That UwU I :33 account them bwessings; fow ^.^ by these 
Shall UwU I >_> twy fwiends. >_> You UwU shaww >_> pewceive >w< how xDD you 
^-^ Mistake x3 my fortunes; UwU I ^w^ am :3 weawthy uWu in x3 my fwiends. 
OwO Within thewe! Fwaminyius! ^w^ Sewviwius! 

Entew FLAMINIUS, SERVILIUS, ÚwÚ and anyothew SEWVANT 

>w< SEWVANTS. OwO My ^.^ wowd! x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
x3 TIMON. UwU I xDD wiww dispatch xDD you uWu sevewawwy- xDD you to Lord Lucius; to Lord 
Lucullus uWu you; UwU I ^w^ hunted with :33 his honour ^w^ to-day. >_> You to Sempronius. 
>_< Commend ;;w;; me to uWu theiw loves; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am :3 pwoud, say, :3 that x3 my ÚwÚ occasions 
uWu have >_> found time to use x3 'em toward :3 a suppwy of money. Let x3 the 
request be :33 fifty xDD tawents. 
FLAMINIUS. ;;w;; As xDD you uWu have said, x3 my OwO wowd. Exeunt ^-^ SEWVANTS 
FWAVIUS. :3 [Aside] Lord ^.^ Wucius ÚwÚ and Wucuwwus? >_> Humh! 
x3 TIMON. Go UwU you, ^w^ siw, to x3 the senyatows, 
Of :33 whom, even to x3 the >_< state's best :33 heawth, UwU I uWu have 
Desewv'd ÚwÚ this ;;w;; heawing. x3 Bid x3 'em >_> send ^.^ o' x3 th' x3 instant 
^-^ A thousand talents to x3 me. 
FWAVIUS. UwU I uWu have :33 been >w< bowd, 
For :3 that UwU I UwU knyew >w< it x3 the UwU most general :3 way, 
;;w;; To them to use x3 youw ^-^ signyet ÚwÚ and x3 youw UwU nyame; 
OwO But ;;w;; they UwU do ;;w;; shake uWu theiw >_< heads, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am OwO hewe 
No xDD wichew uWu in wetuwn. 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ Is't twue? uWu Can't :3 be? 
FWAVIUS. ^-^ They ÚwÚ answew, uWu in :3 a UwU joint ÚwÚ and corporate voice, 
:33 That nyow ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu at ^.^ faww, ^.^ want treasure, ;;w;; cannyot 
Do >_> what ;;w;; they :3 wouwd, OwO awe xDD sowwy- xDD you OwO awe honourable- 
OwO But yet ;;w;; they couwd uWu have ÚwÚ wish'd- ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow nyot- 
xDD Something hath :33 been uWu amiss- :3 a x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
^-^ May catch :3 a wrench- ^.^ wouwd aww :3 wewe ^w^ weww!- UwU 'tis ;;w;; pity- 
xDD And >_> so, ^-^ intending othew sewious mattews, 
>w< Aftew ^-^ distastefuw looks, ÚwÚ and these x3 hawd fractions, 
With xDD cewtain ^-^ hawf-caps ÚwÚ and :3 cowd-moving uWu nyods, 
^-^ They >w< fwoze ;;w;; me x3 into x3 siwence. 
x3 TIMON. >_> You uWu gods, wewawd >w< them! 
Prithee, ^w^ man, wook ^w^ cheewwy. ;;w;; These ;;w;; owd ^w^ fewwows 
:3 Have uWu theiw ingratitude uWu in them hereditary. 
^-^ Theiw :3 bwood >_> is OwO cak'd, UwU 'tis >_< cowd, >w< it seldom flows; 
'Tis ^.^ wack of ^-^ kindwy warmth ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot ;;w;; kind; 
xDD And nyatuwe, >_< as >w< it gwows again toward earth, 
Is uWu fashion'd fow x3 the ^w^ jouwnyey dull ÚwÚ and heavy. 
Go to ^w^ Ventidius. UwU Pwithee be nyot :3 sad, 
^.^ Thou awt true ÚwÚ and xDD honyest; ingenyiouswy UwU I :3 speak, 
No uWu bwame ^-^ bewongs to thee. xDD Ventidius :3 watewy 
Buried :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ by x3 whose :33 death uWu he's stepp'd 
^.^ Into :3 a great estate. x3 When ^.^ he UwU was OwO poow, 
Impwison'd, ÚwÚ and uWu in scarcity of OwO fwiends, 
UwU I xDD cweaw'd ^.^ him with five xDD tawents. ^-^ Gweet ^.^ him from uWu me, 
x3 Bid ^.^ him ^.^ suppose x3 some ÚwÚ good ;;w;; nyecessity 
^w^ Touches :33 his fwiend, which cwaves to be ^-^ wememb'wed 
With UwU those five xDD tawents. :33 That :33 had, >_> give't these ^w^ fewwows 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom UwU 'tis x3 instant ÚwÚ due. ^w^ Nyev'w speak ow think 
:33 That >_< Timon's fowtunyes 'mong :33 his ^w^ fwiends ^.^ can :3 sink. 
FWAVIUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I couwd nyot think :3 it. 
:33 That xDD thought >_> is :3 bounty's >_< foe; 
uWu Being fwee itself, >w< it ^w^ thinks aww ;;w;; othews :3 so. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^.^ WUCUWWUS' ;;w;; house 

FWAMINyIUS uWu waiting to speak with ^w^ WUCUWWUS. Entew SEWVANT to ^.^ him 

SEWVANT. UwU I uWu have told x3 my ;;w;; wowd of uWu you; ^.^ he >_> is xDD coming down to OwO you. 
FLAMINIUS. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, sir. 

Entew LUCULLUS 

SEWVANT. >_> Hewe's x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ WUCUWWUS. :3 [Aside] x3 Onye of Lord >_< Timon's men? ^-^ A :3 gift, UwU I ;;w;; wawwant. Why, 
ÚwÚ this x3 hits right; UwU I dweamt of :3 a :33 siwvew basin ÚwÚ and >w< ewew to-night- 
Flaminius, xDD honyest Flaminius, xDD you OwO awe xDD vewy respectively ;;w;; wewcome, 
sir. Fiww ;;w;; me x3 some ^.^ winye. ;;w;; [Exit >_> SEWVANT] xDD And >w< how does :3 that 
>_> honyouwabwe, x3 compwete, freehearted ÚwÚ gentweman of :3 Athens, >w< thy xDD vewy 
>_> bountifuw ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ mastew? 
FLAMINIUS. ÚwÚ His ^.^ heawth >_> is weww, sir. 
^w^ WUCUWWUS. UwU I ^w^ am >w< wight uWu gwad :3 that :33 his ^.^ heawth >_> is weww, sir. xDD And >_> what 
x3 hast xDD thou there :33 undew >w< thy cloak, OwO pwetty Fwaminyius? 
FLAMINIUS. Faith, >_< nyothing >_> but >w< an :33 empty OwO box, ^w^ siw, which uWu in x3 my UwU wowd's 
behawf UwU I come to entweat x3 youw honour to ^.^ suppwy; who, xDD having 
great ÚwÚ and x3 instant ;;w;; occasion to use :33 fifty tawents, hath sent to 
x3 youw OwO wowdship to furnish :3 him, >_< nyothing ÚwÚ doubting x3 youw xDD pwesent 
^.^ assistance thewein. 
uWu WUCUWWIUS. :33 Wa, la, la, :33 wa! ^-^ 'Nyothing ^w^ doubting' ;;w;; says uWu he? ÚwÚ Awas, ÚwÚ good 
^.^ wowd! :3 a x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ gentweman x3 'tis, >_> if ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot >_< keep UwU so ÚwÚ good :3 a 
ÚwÚ house. xDD Many :3 a time ÚwÚ and often UwU I UwU ha' ÚwÚ din'd with ^.^ him ÚwÚ and told ^.^ him 
^-^ on't; ÚwÚ and come again to OwO suppew to ^.^ him of OwO puwpose to uWu have ^.^ him 
spend >_> wess; ÚwÚ and yet ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_< embwace nyo counsew, OwO take nyo :3 wawnying 
^.^ by x3 my :3 coming. Evewy x3 man >_> has :33 his ^w^ fauwt, ÚwÚ and honesty >_> is ÚwÚ his. UwU I UwU ha' 
told ^.^ him on't, >_> but UwU I couwd ^w^ nye'ew get ^.^ him fwom't. 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ SEWVANT, with winye 

SEWVANT. ÚwÚ Pwease x3 youw lordship, OwO hewe >_> is x3 the ^.^ winye. 
^w^ WUCUWWUS. Flaminius, UwU I uWu have noted uWu thee awways uWu wise. >_> Hewe's to thee. 
FLAMINIUS. uWu Youw OwO wowdship xDD speaks x3 youw pleasure. 
^w^ WUCUWWUS. UwU I uWu have ^-^ obsewved uWu thee awways fow :3 a :3 towawdwy prompt ^-^ spiwit, 
UwU give uWu thee >w< thy >_> due, ÚwÚ and one :3 that xDD knyows >_> what ^-^ bewongs to weason, ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; canst use x3 the time weww, >_> if x3 the time use uWu thee well. ^-^ Good parts uWu in 
thee. :33 [To >_> SEWVANT] >_< Get xDD you >w< gonye, sirrah. ;;w;; [Exit >_> SEWVANT] Draw 
nearer, xDD honyest Flaminius. x3 Thy UwU wowd's :3 a >_> bountifuw gentleman; >_> but 
xDD thou awt >_< wise, ÚwÚ and xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st weww UwU enyough, awthough xDD thou UwU com'st 
to uWu me, :3 that ÚwÚ this >_> is nyo time to xDD wend monyey, especially ;;w;; upon OwO bawe 
ÚwÚ fwiendship ^-^ without xDD secuwity. >_> Hewe's >w< thwee solidares fow thee. 
^-^ Good ^-^ boy, >_> wink uWu at uWu me, ÚwÚ and >_> say xDD thou ^w^ saw'st ;;w;; me not. >w< Fawe uWu thee well. 
FLAMINIUS. ^-^ Is't OwO possibwe x3 the wowwd >_> shouwd UwU so much xDD diffew, 
xDD And ^.^ we ^.^ awive :3 that :3 wiv'd? :33 Fwy, uWu damnyed UwU basenyess, 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that worships thee. [Thwowing x3 the monyey xDD back] 
^w^ WUCUWWUS. uWu Ha! Now UwU I >_> see xDD thou awt :3 a x3 foow, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fit fow >w< thy master. 
uWu Exit 
FLAMINIUS. ^-^ May these >_< add to x3 the ^w^ nyumbew :3 that OwO may ^w^ scawd uWu thee! 
Let molten ^-^ coin be >w< thy ^-^ damnyation, 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ disease of :3 a :33 fwiend ÚwÚ and nyot >_< himsewf! 
x3 Has ÚwÚ fwiendship xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ faint ÚwÚ and milky >_< heawt 
^.^ It tuwns uWu in less than >w< two x3 nyights? x3 O xDD you uWu gods, 
UwU I x3 feew x3 my xDD mastew's passion! This ;;w;; swave 
uWu Unto :33 his honour >_> has x3 my UwU wowd's :3 meat uWu in him; 
Why >_> shouwd >w< it x3 thwive ÚwÚ and turn to >_< nyutwiment 
x3 When ^.^ he >_> is >_> tuwn'd to poison? 
>_< O, OwO may ^-^ diseases >w< onwy ^.^ wowk ÚwÚ upon't! 
xDD And when uWu he's >w< sick to UwU death, wet nyot :3 that ÚwÚ pawt of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
>_< Which x3 my ;;w;; wowd paid fow be of xDD any powew 
;;w;; To expew :3 sicknyess, >_> but >w< pwowong :33 his houw! uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew ^w^ Wucius, with >w< thwee STWANGEWS 

WUCIUS. UwU Who, x3 the Lord :3 Timon? >w< He >_> is x3 my xDD vewy ÚwÚ good fwiend, ÚwÚ and >w< an 
^.^ honyouwabwe :3 gentweman. 
uWu FIWST >w< STWANGEW. We ^.^ knyow ^.^ him fow nyo UwU wess, ^w^ though ^.^ we OwO awe >_> but 
stwangews to ^.^ him. OwO But UwU I ^.^ can tell xDD you one ÚwÚ thing, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and 
which UwU I hear from ^w^ common rumours: nyow Lord >_< Timon's ^w^ happy >_> houws 
OwO awe donye ÚwÚ and past, ÚwÚ and :33 his estate :33 shwinks from ^.^ him. 
WUCIUS. OwO Fie, no: UwU do nyot ^-^ bewieve uWu it; ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ want fow money. 
^w^ SECOND >w< STWANGEW. OwO But ^-^ bewieve xDD you uWu this, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that nyot ^-^ wong ^w^ ago 
one of :33 his ;;w;; men UwU was with x3 the Lord Lucullus to :3 bowwow UwU so UwU many 
>w< tawents; x3 nyay, ;;w;; uwg'd OwO extwemewy x3 fow't, ÚwÚ and showed >_> what ;;w;; nyecessity 
UwU bewong'd >_> to't, ÚwÚ and yet UwU was uWu denyied. 
WUCIUS. ÚwÚ How? 
^w^ SECOND >w< STWANGEW. UwU I tell UwU you, denied, x3 my OwO wowd. 
WUCIUS. >_> What :3 a ;;w;; stwange case UwU was >_< that! >_> Nyow, >w< befowe x3 the uWu gods, UwU I ^w^ am 
>w< asham'd ^.^ on't. ^.^ Denyied :3 that ^.^ honyouwabwe ;;w;; man! >_> Thewe UwU was xDD vewy xDD wittwe 
honour ^w^ show'd ÚwÚ in't. For x3 my UwU own >_> pawt, UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds x3 confess UwU I uWu have 
uWu weceived x3 some UwU smaww ^-^ kindnyesses from :3 him, >_< as monyey, ;;w;; pwate, jewews, 
ÚwÚ and >_< such-wike twifwes, >_< nyothing x3 compawing to ^w^ his; ^w^ yet, xDD had ^.^ he 
>_> mistook ^.^ him ÚwÚ and sent to uWu me, UwU I >_> shouwd ^w^ nye'ew uWu have >w< denyied :33 his 
;;w;; occasion UwU so UwU many xDD tawents. 

Entew SERVILIUS 

SERVILIUS. :3 See, ^.^ by ÚwÚ good ^-^ hap, >_> yondew's x3 my wowd; UwU I uWu have UwU sweat to >_> see 
:33 his honour.- OwO My :3 honyouw'd ^.^ wowd! 
WUCIUS. ;;w;; Sewviwius? >_> You OwO awe ^-^ kindwy :3 met, sir. >w< Fawe uWu thee well; ÚwÚ commend 
;;w;; me to >w< thy ^.^ honyouwabwe virtuous uWu wowd, x3 my xDD vewy exquisite :3 fwiend. 
SERVILIUS. ^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw honyouw, x3 my ;;w;; wowd hath xDD sent- 
WUCIUS. uWu Ha! >_> What >_> has ^.^ he >_< sent? UwU I ^w^ am UwU so much endeared to :3 that wowd: 
uWu he's OwO evew :33 sending. How UwU shaww UwU I >_> thank :3 him, think'st thou? xDD And >_> what 
>_> has ^.^ he sent ^.^ nyow? 
SERVILIUS. x3 Has >w< onwy sent :33 his xDD pwesent ;;w;; occasion now, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>w< wequesting x3 youw OwO wowdship to suppwy :33 his x3 instant use with UwU so UwU many 
xDD tawents. 
WUCIUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his OwO wowdship >_> is >_> but ^.^ mewwy with OwO me; 
>w< He ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ want xDD fifty-five :3 hundwed xDD tawents. 
SERVILIUS. OwO But uWu in x3 the >_> mean time ^.^ he wants UwU wess, x3 my OwO wowd. 
;;w;; If :33 his ;;w;; occasion :3 wewe nyot virtuous 
UwU I >_> shouwd nyot urge >w< it half UwU so faithfully. 
WUCIUS. uWu Dost xDD thou speak sewiouswy, ;;w;; Sewviwius? 
SERVILIUS. >_> Upon x3 my x3 souw, UwU 'tis ^-^ twue, sir. 
WUCIUS. >_> What :3 a wicked beast UwU was UwU I to disfurnish mysewf OwO against xDD such 
:3 a ÚwÚ good time, when UwU I ^w^ might UwU ha' OwO shown mysewf ^w^ honyouwabwe! How 
xDD unwuckiwy >w< it ^-^ happ'nyed :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd puwchase x3 the day >w< befowe fow :3 a 
xDD wittwe ÚwÚ pawt ÚwÚ and undo :3 a great deal of ^-^ honyouw! Servilius, nyow 
>w< befowe x3 the uWu gods, UwU I ^w^ am nyot able to xDD do- x3 the ^.^ mowe ^.^ beast, UwU I ;;w;; say! UwU I 
UwU was UwU sending to use Lord OwO Timon myself, these gentlemen ^.^ can 
^w^ witnyess; >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot fow x3 the weawth of ^.^ Athens UwU I xDD had donye't 
now. >_< Commend ;;w;; me ^w^ bountifuwwy to :33 his ÚwÚ good lordship, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU hope :33 his 
honour xDD wiww :33 conceive x3 the >_> faiwest of uWu me, uWu because UwU I uWu have nyo powew 
to be kind. xDD And tell ^.^ him ÚwÚ this from ;;w;; me: UwU I ;;w;; count >w< it one of x3 my 
ÚwÚ gweatest UwU affwictions, say, :3 that UwU I ;;w;; cannyot :3 pweasuwe xDD such >w< an 
^.^ honyouwabwe :3 gentweman. ^-^ Good Servilius, xDD wiww xDD you >_< befwiend ;;w;; me UwU so uWu faw 
>_< as to use >_< minye UwU own wowds to him? 
SERVILIUS. Yes, ^w^ siw, UwU I >_< shaww. 
WUCIUS. I'll wook xDD you x3 out :3 a ÚwÚ good tuwn, Sewviwius. 
uWu Exit SERVILIUS 
>_< Twue, >_< as xDD you said, OwO Timon >_> is UwU shwunk :33 indeed; 
xDD And ^.^ he ^w^ that's >_> once >w< denyied xDD wiww hardly ;;w;; speed. uWu Exit 
uWu FIWST >w< STWANGEW. Do xDD you uWu obsewve uWu this, >_< Hostiwius? 
^w^ SECOND >w< STWANGEW. Ay, ^w^ too well. 
uWu FIWST >w< STWANGEW. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the OwO wowwd's ^.^ souw; ÚwÚ and >w< just of x3 the same 
^.^ piece 
Is every flatterer's >w< spiwit. Who ^.^ can caww ^.^ him :33 his :33 fwiend 
:33 That ^.^ dips uWu in x3 the same xDD dish? For, uWu in x3 my ^w^ knyowing, 
OwO Timon >_> has :33 been ÚwÚ this UwU wowd's ÚwÚ fathew, 
xDD And :33 kept :33 his cwedit with :33 his purse; 
UwU Suppowted :33 his x3 estate; x3 nyay, >_< Timon's monyey 
x3 Has paid :33 his ;;w;; men uWu theiw wages. >w< He ^w^ nye'ew dwinks 
OwO But >_< Timon's :33 siwvew :33 tweads ;;w;; upon :33 his lip; 
xDD And UwU yet- >_< O, >_> see x3 the >_> monstwousnyess of x3 man 
x3 When ^.^ he :33 wooks x3 out uWu in >w< an uWu ungwatefuw ;;w;; shape!- 
>w< He does UwU deny :3 him, uWu in wespect of his, 
>_> What x3 chawitabwe ;;w;; men UwU affowd to beggaws. 
^w^ THIWD >w< STWANGEW. xDD Wewigion groans uWu at :3 it. 
uWu FIWST >w< STWANGEW. For >_< minye UwU own >_> pawt, 
UwU I >_< nyevew ^w^ tasted OwO Timon uWu in x3 my :3 wife, 
x3 Nyow ^-^ came xDD any of :33 his bounties uvw ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To mark ;;w;; me fow :33 his fwiend; yet UwU I protest, 
For :33 his >w< wight x3 nyobwe UwU mind, ÚwÚ iwwustwious virtue, 
xDD And ^.^ honyouwabwe OwO cawwiage, 
xDD Had :33 his ;;w;; nyecessity UwU made use of uWu me, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have put x3 my weawth x3 into ;;w;; donyation, 
xDD And x3 the best half >_> shouwd uWu have wetuwn'd to :3 him, 
^w^ So much UwU I wuv :33 his ;;w;; heawt. OwO But UwU I >_> pewceive 
OwO Men ^w^ must :3 weawn nyow with pity to >_< dispense; 
For UwU powicy >_> sits :33 abuv ^w^ conscience. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
>_> SEMPWONyIUS' ;;w;; house 

Entew OwO SEMPWONyIUS ÚwÚ and :3 a SEWVANT of ÚwÚ TIMON'S 

SEMPWONyIUS. :3 Must ^.^ he >_< nyeeds >_> twoubwe ;;w;; me in't? :3 Hum! 'Buv aww othews? 
>w< He ^w^ might uWu have ;;w;; twied Lord ^.^ Wucius ow Lucullus; 
xDD And nyow xDD Ventidius >_> is :3 weawthy :3 too, 
;;w;; Whom ^.^ he ^w^ wedeem'd from x3 pwison. All these 
Owe uWu theiw estates >w< unto ^.^ him. 
SEWVANT. OwO My uWu wowd, 
^-^ They uWu have aww :33 been touch'd ÚwÚ and >_> found UwU base :33 metaw, fow 
^-^ They uWu have aww >w< denyied ^.^ him. 
SEMPWONyIUS. OwO How! :3 Have ;;w;; they >w< denyied him? 
x3 Has xDD Ventidius ÚwÚ and Lucullus >w< denyied him? 
xDD And does ^.^ he >_> send to me? ^.^ Thwee? >_> Humh! 
^.^ It >_< shows >_> but xDD wittwe wuv ow ^w^ judgment uWu in ^.^ him. 
:3 Must UwU I be :33 his >w< wast :33 wefuge? ÚwÚ His OwO fwiends, ^.^ wike uWu physicians, 
uWu Thwice UwU give ^.^ him over. :3 Must UwU I OwO take x3 th' >w< cuwe ;;w;; upon me? 
x3 Has much x3 disgwac'd ;;w;; me in't; >w< I'm angry uWu at :3 him, 
:33 That ^w^ might uWu have ÚwÚ knyown x3 my ;;w;; pwace. UwU I >_> see nyo sense x3 fow't, 
OwO But :33 his ÚwÚ occasions ^w^ might uWu have woo'd ;;w;; me first; 
For, uWu in x3 my OwO conscience, UwU I UwU was x3 the xDD fiwst x3 man 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew uWu weceived ^w^ gift from ^.^ him. 
xDD And does ^.^ he think UwU so >_< backwawdwy of ;;w;; me nyow 
:33 That I'll :3 wequite >w< it last? No; 
^w^ So >w< it OwO may ^-^ pwuv >w< an :33 awgument of :33 waughtew 
;;w;; To x3 th' ^-^ west, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ 'mongst wowds be xDD thought :3 a xDD foow. 
;;w;; I'd rather than x3 the ^.^ wowth of thrice x3 the >w< sum 
xDD Had sent to ;;w;; me ÚwÚ fiwst, >_> but fow x3 my mind's >_< sake; 
;;w;; I'd xDD such :3 a couwage to UwU do ^.^ him UwU good. OwO But nyow wetuwn, 
xDD And with uWu theiw ÚwÚ faint ^-^ wepwy ÚwÚ this answew ^-^ join: 
Who ;;w;; bates >_< minye honour UwU shaww nyot ^.^ knyow x3 my coin. uWu Exit 
SEWVANT. Excewwent! uWu Youw :3 wowdship's :3 a xDD goodwy villain. uWu The ^.^ deviw 
UwU knyew nyot >_> what ^.^ he uWu did when ^.^ he UwU made x3 man >_< powitic- ^.^ he cwoss'd >_< himsewf 
>w< by't; ÚwÚ and UwU I ;;w;; cannyot think but, uWu in x3 the ^w^ end, x3 the viwwainyies of x3 man 
xDD wiww uWu set ^.^ him UwU cweaw. How ^.^ faiwwy ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wowd :3 stwives to appeaw x3 fouw! 
Takes virtuous OwO copies to be wicked, ^.^ wike UwU those :3 that :33 undew :3 hot 
awdent ^.^ zeaw ^.^ wouwd uWu set whole xDD weawms on >_> fiwe. 
Of xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is :33 his ;;w;; powitic love. 
This UwU was x3 my UwU wowd's best >_> hope; nyow aww OwO awe fwed, 
:3 Save >w< onwy x3 the gods. Now :33 his ^w^ fwiends OwO awe >_< dead, 
>w< Doows :3 that :3 wewe ^w^ nye'ew >_> acquainted with uWu theiw wards 
xDD Many :3 a ^.^ bounteous xDD yeaw ^w^ must be xDD empwoy'd 
Now to xDD guawd >_< suwe uWu theiw master. 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is aww :3 a xDD wibewaw course ^-^ awwows: 
Who ;;w;; cannyot >_< keep :33 his weawth ^w^ must >_< keep :33 his ÚwÚ house. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
^-^ A ^-^ haww uWu in ÚwÚ TIMON'S ;;w;; house 

Entew >w< two Of VAWWO'S MEN, meeting LUCIUS' ^-^ SEWVANT, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, 
aww ^.^ being :3 sewvants of ^w^ TIMON's ^w^ cweditows, to wait fow :33 his xDD coming OwO out. 
UwU Then enter TITUS ÚwÚ and OwO HOWTENSIUS 

uWu FIWST VAWWO'S SEWVANT. Weww met; ÚwÚ good morrow, Titus ÚwÚ and :3 Howtensius. 
TITUS. uWu The ^.^ wike to UwU you, uWu kind >_> Vawwo. 
xDD HOWTENSIUS. x3 Wucius! What, UwU do ^.^ we :3 meet :33 togethew? 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. Ay, ÚwÚ and UwU I think one business does ÚwÚ command >_> us aww; 
fow >_< minye >_> is money. 
TITUS. ^w^ So >_> is theirs ÚwÚ and >_> ouws. 

Entew >w< PHIWOTUS 

LUCIUS' SEWVANT. xDD And Sir Philotus ;;w;; too! 
^w^ PHIWOTUS. ^-^ Good day uWu at OwO once. 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. ;;w;; wewcome, ÚwÚ good brother, >_> what UwU do xDD you think x3 the :3 houw? 
^w^ PHIWOTUS. xDD Wabouwing fow nine. 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. ^w^ So much? 
^w^ PHIWOTUS. Is nyot x3 my ;;w;; wowd :3 seen :33 yet? 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> yet. 
^w^ PHIWOTUS. UwU I wonder ^-^ on't; ^.^ he UwU was UwU wont to shine uWu at xDD seven. 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. Ay, >_> but x3 the OwO days OwO awe wax'd showtew with him; 
>_> You ^w^ must OwO considew :3 that :3 a prodigal course 
Is ^.^ wike x3 the sun's, >_> but nyot ^.^ wike :33 his :3 wecuvwabwe. 
UwU I feaw 
'Tis xDD deepest winter uWu in Lord >_< Timon's purse; 
:33 That ;;w;; is, one OwO may :3 weach >_> deep enough ÚwÚ and yet 
UwU Find ^.^ wittwe. 
^w^ PHIWOTUS. UwU I ^w^ am of x3 youw feaw fow x3 that. 
TITUS. I'll x3 show xDD you >w< how t' uWu obsewve :3 a ;;w;; stwange UwU event. 
uWu Youw ;;w;; wowd OwO sends nyow fow money. 
xDD HOWTENSIUS. :3 Most ^-^ twue, ^.^ he does. 
TITUS. xDD And ^.^ he ^-^ weaws :3 jewews nyow of >_< Timon's :3 gift, 
For which UwU I wait fow money. 
xDD HOWTENSIUS. ^.^ It >_> is OwO against x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. >_> Mawk >w< how ;;w;; stwange >w< it >_< shows 
OwO Timon uWu in ÚwÚ this >_> shouwd x3 pay ^.^ mowe than ^.^ he owes; 
xDD And ^w^ e'en >_< as >_> if x3 youw ;;w;; wowd >_> shouwd ^-^ weaw rich :3 jewews 
xDD And >_> send fow monyey fow ^.^ 'em. 
xDD HOWTENSIUS. >w< I'm ÚwÚ weawy of ÚwÚ this charge, x3 the gods ^.^ can ^w^ witnyess; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my ;;w;; wowd hath xDD spent of >_< Timon's ^.^ weawth, 
xDD And nyow ingratitude x3 makes >w< it xDD wowse than stealth. 
uWu FIWST VAWWO'S SEWVANT. Yes, mine's >w< thwee thousand cwowns; UwU what's 
x3 youws? 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. :3 Five thousand ^w^ minye. 
uWu FIWST VAWWO'S SEWVANT. 'Tis much >_> deep; ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> shouwd xDD seem ^.^ by x3 th' 
>w< sum 
uWu Youw xDD mastew's :3 confidence UwU was :33 abuv >_> minye, 
^-^ Ewse x3 suwewy :33 his xDD had equall'd. 

Entew FWAMINyIUS 

TITUS. x3 Onye of Lord >_< Timon's ^.^ men. 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. Fwaminyius! UwU Siw, :3 a OwO wowd. ÚwÚ Pway, >_> is x3 my ;;w;; wowd ready to 
come uWu fowth? 
FLAMINIUS. :3 Nyo, :33 indeed, ^.^ he >_> is not. 
TITUS. We >_< attend :33 his OwO wowdship; pray :33 signyify UwU so :33 much. 
FLAMINIUS. UwU I >_< nyeed nyot tell ^.^ him :33 that; ^.^ he xDD knyows xDD you OwO awe to diwigent. 
uWu Exit 

Entew ;;w;; FWAVIUS, uWu in :3 a cloak, muffled 

LUCIUS' SEWVANT. uWu Ha! Is nyot :3 that :33 his steward muffled so? 
>w< He xDD goes OwO away uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ cwoud. ;;w;; Caww :3 him, caww ^.^ him. 
TITUS. Do xDD you heaw, UwU siw? 
^w^ SECOND VAWWO'S SEWVANT. ^-^ By x3 youw weave, sir. 
FWAVIUS. >_> What UwU do OwO ye ^w^ ask of uWu me, x3 my >w< fwiend? 
TITUS. We wait fow xDD cewtain monyey UwU hewe, sir. 
FWAVIUS. Ay, 
;;w;; If monyey :3 wewe >_< as xDD cewtain >_< as x3 youw uWu waiting, 
uWu 'Twewe >_< suwe enyough. 
Why xDD then pwefeww'd xDD you nyot x3 youw uWu sums ÚwÚ and bills 
x3 When x3 youw UwU fawse >w< mastews eat of x3 my UwU wowd's >_< meat? 
UwU Then ;;w;; they couwd :33 smiwe, ÚwÚ and ^-^ fawn ;;w;; upon :33 his debts, 
xDD And OwO take down x3 th' OwO int'west x3 into uWu theiw glutt'nous >_> maws. 
>_> You UwU do youwsewves >_> but wrong to stir ;;w;; me xDD up; 
Let ;;w;; me pass OwO quietwy. 
>_> Bewieve't, x3 my ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have UwU made >w< an end: 
UwU I uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe to reckon, ^.^ he to spend. 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. Ay, >_> but ÚwÚ this answew xDD wiww nyot ^.^ sewve. 
FWAVIUS. ;;w;; If 'twill nyot OwO sewve, UwU 'tis nyot UwU so UwU base >_< as UwU you, 
For xDD you serve >_> knyaves. uWu Exit 
uWu FIWST VAWWO'S SEWVANT. OwO How! >_> What does :33 his cashier'd :33 wowship ^-^ muttew? 
^w^ SECOND VAWWO'S SEWVANT. No ;;w;; mattew :3 what; uWu he's OwO poow, ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's 
xDD wevenge enyough. Who ^.^ can speak bwoadew than ^.^ he :3 that >_> has nyo ;;w;; house 
to put :33 his >_> head in? >w< Such OwO may waiw OwO against great xDD buiwdings. 

Entew SERVILIUS 

TITUS. >_< O, hewe's >_< Sewviwius; nyow ^.^ we UwU shaww ^.^ knyow x3 some answer. 
SERVILIUS. ;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ might :33 beseech UwU you, xDD gentwemen, to repair x3 some othew 
^-^ houw, UwU I >_> shouwd >w< dewive much UwU fwom't; fow x3 take't of x3 my x3 souw, x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
weans ^-^ wondwouswy to >_< discontent. ÚwÚ His >w< comfowtabwe xDD tempew >_> has 
fowsook him; uWu he's much x3 out of ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and keeps :33 his ^.^ chambew. 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. xDD Many UwU do >_< keep uWu theiw ^.^ chambews OwO awe nyot xDD sick; 
xDD And >_> if >w< it be UwU so uWu faw ^w^ beyond :33 his :33 heawth, 
Methinks ^.^ he >_> shouwd x3 the :33 soonyew x3 pay :33 his debts, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a ^-^ cweaw uWu way to x3 the gods. 
SERVILIUS. ^-^ Good ^-^ gods! 
TITUS. We ;;w;; cannyot OwO take ÚwÚ this fow ÚwÚ answew, sir. 
FLAMINIUS. :33 [Within] Servilius, :33 hewp! OwO My ^.^ wowd! x3 my ^.^ wowd! 

Entew TIMON, uWu in :3 a rage, FWAMINyIUS fowwowing 

x3 TIMON. What, OwO awe x3 my x3 doows x3 oppos'd OwO against x3 my ^.^ passage? 
:3 Have UwU I :33 been OwO evew >w< fwee, ÚwÚ and ^w^ must x3 my ;;w;; house 
^w^ Be x3 my retentive enyemy, x3 my :3 gaow? 
uWu The :33 pwace which UwU I uWu have UwU feasted, does >w< it now, 
Wike aww uWu mankind, x3 show ;;w;; me >w< an iwon ÚwÚ heawt? 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. >_> Put uWu in now, ^.^ Titus. 
TITUS. OwO My uWu wowd, OwO hewe >_> is x3 my :3 biww. 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. >_> Hewe's ^w^ minye. 
xDD HOWTENSIUS. xDD And >_> minye, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 BOTH VAWWO'S >w< SEWVANTS. xDD And >_> ouws, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^w^ PHIWOTUS. All UwU ouw bills. 
x3 TIMON. Knock ;;w;; me down with >w< 'em; ÚwÚ cweave ;;w;; me to x3 the OwO giwdwe. 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 my wowd- 
x3 TIMON. Cut x3 my >_< heawt uWu in >w< sums. 
TITUS. Minye, :33 fifty xDD tawents. 
x3 TIMON. Teww x3 out x3 my blood. 
LUCIUS' SEWVANT. :3 Five thousand :33 cwowns, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 TIMON. :3 Five thousand ^.^ dwops >w< pays x3 that. >_> What x3 youws? ÚwÚ and x3 youws? 
uWu FIWST VAWWO'S SEWVANT. OwO My wowd- 
^w^ SECOND VAWWO'S SEWVANT. OwO My wowd- 
x3 TIMON. >w< Teaw uWu me, OwO take uWu me, ÚwÚ and x3 the gods faww ;;w;; upon you! uWu Exit 
xDD HOWTENSIUS. Faith, UwU I >_> pewceive UwU ouw >w< mastews OwO may ^-^ thwow uWu theiw caps uWu at 
uWu theiw money. ;;w;; These debts OwO may weww be ^w^ caww'd despewate onyes, fow :3 a 
ÚwÚ madman >_> owes ^.^ 'em. Exeunt 

^.^ We-entew >w< TIMON ÚwÚ and ^.^ FWAVIUS 

x3 TIMON. ^-^ They uWu have ^w^ e'en put x3 my UwU bweath from uWu me, x3 the ^-^ swaves. 
Cweditows? Devils! 
FWAVIUS. OwO My uWu deaw wowd- 
x3 TIMON. >_> What >_> if >w< it >_> shouwd be so? 
FLAMINIUS. OwO My wowd- 
x3 TIMON. I'll uWu have >w< it :3 so. OwO My steward! 
FWAVIUS. Here, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 TIMON. ^w^ So ÚwÚ fitwy? ^w^ Go, bid aww x3 my ^w^ fwiends ;;w;; again: 
^w^ Wucius, ^-^ Wucuwwus, ÚwÚ and Sempronius- all. 
I'll >_> once ^.^ mowe >_> feast x3 the >_> wascaws. 
FWAVIUS. x3 O x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> You >w< onwy speak from x3 youw distracted ^.^ souw; 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyot UwU so much left to furnish x3 out 
^-^ A modewate ;;w;; tabwe. 
x3 TIMON. ^w^ Be >w< it nyot uWu in >w< thy >w< cawe. 
^w^ Go, UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, invite them aww; wet uWu in x3 the >_< tide 
Of knyaves >_> once mowe; x3 my cook ÚwÚ and I'll pwovide. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
uWu The :33 Senyate House 

Entew >w< thwee x3 SENyATOWS uWu at one door, >_> AWCIBIADES meeting ÚwÚ them, with ^.^ attendants 

uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you uWu have x3 my uWu voice x3 to't: x3 the fauwt's ^-^ bwoody. 
'Tis ^.^ nyecessawy ^.^ he >_> shouwd die: 
Nyothing :3 embowdens x3 sin UwU so much >_< as mercy. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. :3 Most true; x3 the law UwU shaww bwuise ^.^ him. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. Honour, :33 heawth, ÚwÚ and xDD compassion, to x3 the Senate! 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >_> Nyow, ^.^ Captain? 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. UwU I ^w^ am >w< an humble suitor to x3 youw ÚwÚ viwtues; 
For pity >_> is x3 the viwtue of x3 the waw, 
xDD And >_< nyonye >_> but ^.^ tywants use >w< it OwO cwuewwy. 
^.^ It x3 pweases time ÚwÚ and :3 fowtunye to >_< wie x3 heavy 
>_> Upon :3 a :33 fwiend of >_> minye, who uWu in :3 hot :3 bwood 
>_< Hath stepp'd x3 into x3 the waw, which >_> is x3 past UwU depth 
;;w;; To UwU those :3 that ^-^ without :3 heed UwU do ^.^ pwunge into't. 
>w< He >_> is :3 a ^w^ man, >w< setting :33 his fate ÚwÚ aside, 
Of >_> comewy ÚwÚ viwtues; 
x3 Nyow uWu did ^.^ he UwU soiw x3 the ^w^ fact with cowardice- 
^-^ An honour uWu in ^.^ him which xDD buys x3 out :33 his :3 fauwt- 
OwO But with :3 a x3 nyobwe UwU fuwy ÚwÚ and >w< faiw ^-^ spiwit, 
x3 Seeing :33 his >_< weputation touch'd to UwU death, 
>w< He uWu did ;;w;; oppose :33 his >_< foe; 
xDD And with xDD such sober ÚwÚ and unnyoted passion 
>w< He uWu did >w< behuv :33 his ÚwÚ angew ere uWu 'twas >_< spent, 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ he xDD had >_> but ^.^ pwov'd >w< an awgument. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >_> You ^w^ undewgo ^w^ too :3 stwict :3 a UwU pawadox, 
^w^ Stwiving to >_< make >w< an ugwy ^.^ deed wook fair; 
uWu Youw wowds uWu have >_> took xDD such ^w^ pains >_< as >_> if ;;w;; they labour'd 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing :3 manswaughtew x3 into >_< fowm ÚwÚ and uWu set 
OwO Quawwewwing ;;w;; upon x3 the >_> head of :3 vawouw; ^w^ which, :33 indeed, 
Is valour UwU misbegot, ÚwÚ and ^-^ came x3 into x3 the wowwd 
x3 When :3 sects ÚwÚ and factions :3 wewe x3 nyewwy born. 
He's :33 twuwy uWu vawiant :3 that ^.^ can wisely suffew 
uWu The worst :3 that x3 man ^.^ can ^w^ bweathe, 
xDD And >_< make :33 his >_< wwongs :33 his outsides, 
;;w;; To ^-^ weaw them ^.^ wike :33 his :33 waiment, cawewesswy, 
xDD And ^w^ nye'ew prefer :33 his x3 injuwies to :33 his uWu heawt, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing >w< it x3 into danger. 
;;w;; If >_< wwongs be uWu eviws, ÚwÚ and enforce >_> us ^.^ kiww, 
>_> What >w< fowwy UwU 'tis to >_< hazawd >w< wife fow iww! 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. OwO My wowd- 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >_> You ;;w;; cannyot >_< make gwoss :3 sins wook cweaw: 
;;w;; To xDD wevenge >_> is nyo uWu vawouw, >_> but to bear. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. OwO My wowds, >w< then, :33 undew favour, UwU pawdon ;;w;; me 
;;w;; If UwU I speak ^.^ wike :3 a UwU captain: 
Why UwU do fond ;;w;; men expose x3 themsewves to battwe, 
xDD And nyot OwO enduwe aww threats? OwO Sweep x3 upon't, 
xDD And wet x3 the ^-^ foes ÚwÚ quietwy :3 cut uWu theiw ;;w;; thwoats, 
Without :33 wepugnyancy? ;;w;; If there be 
>w< Such valour uWu in x3 the beawing, >_> what >_< make ^.^ we 
Abwoad? Why, >w< then, x3 women OwO awe ^.^ mowe valiant, 
:33 That xDD stay uWu at ^.^ home, >_> if :33 beawing carry uWu it; 
xDD And x3 the >w< ass ^.^ mowe UwU captain than x3 the :3 wion; x3 the fewwow 
>_> Woaden with iwons wiser than x3 the ^w^ judge, 
;;w;; If ^.^ wisdom be uWu in >w< suffewing. x3 O x3 my wowds, 
;;w;; As xDD you OwO awe ^.^ gweat, be >_< pitifuwwy UwU good. 
Who ;;w;; cannyot >_< condemn ÚwÚ washnyess uWu in UwU cowd >_< bwood? 
;;w;; To ^.^ kiww, UwU I grant, >_> is xDD sin's extremest gust; 
But, uWu in ^w^ defence, ^.^ by mercy, UwU 'tis UwU most ;;w;; just. 
;;w;; To be uWu in ÚwÚ angew >_> is uWu impiety; 
OwO But who >_> is x3 man :3 that >_> is nyot ^.^ angwy? 
OwO Weigh >_> but x3 the crime with UwU this. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. >_> You ;;w;; bweathe uWu in OwO vain. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. ^w^ In UwU vain! ÚwÚ His OwO sewvice donye 
At UwU Wacedaemon ÚwÚ and Byzantium 
^.^ Wewe :3 a sufficient OwO bwibew fow :33 his life. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. x3 What's ^-^ that? 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. Why, UwU I say, x3 my wowds, >_> has donye >w< faiw sewvice, 
xDD And :3 swain uWu in >w< fight UwU many of x3 youw enyemies; 
How full of valour uWu did ^.^ he UwU beaw >_< himsewf 
^w^ In x3 the >w< wast >_> confwict, ÚwÚ and UwU made ^w^ pwenteous >_< wounds! 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. >w< He >_> has UwU made ^w^ too much pwenty with ^.^ 'em. 
He's :3 a sworn OwO wiotew; ^.^ he >_> has :3 a x3 sin :3 that often 
:3 Dwowns ^.^ him ÚwÚ and UwU takes :33 his valour ^w^ pwisonyew. 
;;w;; If there :3 wewe nyo ;;w;; foes, :3 that :3 wewe enough 
;;w;; To uWu uvwcome ^.^ him. ^w^ In :3 that OwO beastwy UwU fuwy 
>w< He >_> has :33 been ÚwÚ knyown to :3 commit uWu outwages 
xDD And :3 chewish ^-^ factions. 'Tis infeww'd to >_> us 
ÚwÚ His OwO days OwO awe fouw ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ dwink :33 dangewous. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >w< He OwO dies. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. ÚwÚ Hawd ^-^ fate! >w< He ^w^ might uWu have >w< died uWu in waw. 
OwO My wowds, >_> if nyot fow xDD any parts uWu in uWu him- 
;;w;; Though :33 his >w< wight awm ^w^ might puwchase :33 his UwU own time, 
xDD And be uWu in >_> debt to ^w^ nyonye- ^w^ yet, ^.^ mowe to move UwU you, 
^.^ Take x3 my deserts to his, ÚwÚ and ^w^ join x3 'em both; 
^.^ And, fow UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw reverend uWu ages wuv 
Security, I'll ^.^ pawn x3 my ^.^ victowies, aww 
OwO My honyouws to UwU you, ;;w;; upon :33 his ÚwÚ good UwU wetuwns. 
;;w;; If ^.^ by ÚwÚ this crime ^.^ he >_> owes x3 the law :33 his :3 wife, 
Why, wet x3 the >w< waw receive't uWu in uWu vawiant ^w^ gowe; 
For law >_> is ^.^ stwict, ÚwÚ and >w< waw >_> is >_< nyothing more. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. We OwO awe fow >_< waw: ^.^ he OwO dies. Uwge >w< it nyo ^.^ mowe 
On height of UwU ouw dispweasuwe. >_> Fwiend ow brother, 
>w< He >w< fowfeits :33 his UwU own :3 bwood :3 that spills anyothew. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. :3 Must >w< it be so? ^.^ It ^w^ must nyot >w< be. OwO My wowds, 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, ^.^ knyow x3 me. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. OwO How! 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. ;;w;; Caww ;;w;; me to x3 youw remembrances. 
^w^ THIWD ^w^ SENyATOW. What! 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot think >_> but x3 youw age >_> has fowgot OwO me; 
^.^ It couwd nyot >_> ewse be UwU I >_> shouwd ^-^ pwuv UwU so UwU base 
;;w;; To >_< sue, ÚwÚ and be >w< denyied xDD such ^w^ common grace. 
OwO My wounds ache uWu at OwO you. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Do xDD you dawe UwU ouw angew? 
'Tis uWu in x3 few wowds, >_> but ÚwÚ spacious uWu in ;;w;; effect: 
We banyish uWu thee fow ever. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. ^-^ Banyish me! 
^-^ Banyish x3 youw dotage! ^-^ Banyish usuwy 
:33 That x3 makes x3 the :33 Senyate ugly. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ aftew >w< two >_> days' shine ^.^ Athens ^.^ contain ÚwÚ thee, 
uWu Attend UwU ouw weightiew ;;w;; judgment. ^.^ And, nyot to sweww UwU ouw ^-^ spiwit, 
>w< He UwU shaww be executed presently. Exeunt x3 SENyATOWS 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. Now x3 the gods >_< keep xDD you ;;w;; owd enough :3 that xDD you OwO may ^w^ wive 
Onwy uWu in bone, :3 that >_< nyonye OwO may wook on you! 
>w< I'm xDD wowse than >w< mad; UwU I uWu have :33 kept back uWu theiw ;;w;; foes, 
While ;;w;; they uWu have told uWu theiw monyey ÚwÚ and wet x3 out 
^-^ Theiw ^-^ coin ;;w;; upon large intewest, UwU I mysewf 
Wich >w< onwy uWu in large huwts. All UwU those fow :3 this? 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 the balsam :3 that x3 the usuwing :33 Senyate 
x3 Pouws x3 into UwU captains' ÚwÚ wounds? xDD Banyishment! 
^.^ It x3 comes nyot iww; UwU I ^-^ hate nyot to be ÚwÚ banyish'd; 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a cause ÚwÚ wowthy x3 my UwU spween ÚwÚ and ^w^ fuwy, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may strike uWu at OwO Athens. I'll cheer x3 up 
OwO My >_> discontented ^.^ twoops, ÚwÚ and uWu way fow >w< heawts. 
'Tis honour with UwU most ^-^ wands to be uWu at x3 odds; 
>_> Sowdiews >_> shouwd >w< bwook >_< as xDD wittwe >_< wwongs >_< as gods. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
^-^ A ÚwÚ banqueting ^-^ haww uWu in ÚwÚ TIMON'S ;;w;; house 

:3 Music. Tables uWu set out; :3 sewvants attending. Entew divers LORDS, 
^w^ fwiends of TIMON, uWu at sevewaw x3 doows 

uWu FIWST WOWD. uWu The ÚwÚ good time of day to UwU you, sir. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. UwU I awso ÚwÚ wish >w< it to OwO you. UwU I think ÚwÚ this ^.^ honyouwabwe ;;w;; wowd 
uWu did >_> but >_> twy >_> us ÚwÚ this othew x3 day. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> Upon :3 that :3 wewe x3 my >_< thoughts OwO tiwing when ^.^ we ^w^ encount'wed. 
UwU I UwU hope >w< it >_> is nyot UwU so wow with ^.^ him >_< as ^.^ he UwU made >w< it xDD seem uWu in x3 the uWu twiaw 
of :33 his sevewaw fwiends. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^.^ It >_> shouwd nyot be, ^.^ by x3 the :3 pewsuasion of :33 his x3 nyew 
^-^ feasting. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU I >_> shouwd think :3 so. >w< He hath sent ;;w;; me >w< an xDD eawnyest inviting, 
which UwU many x3 my nyeaw ÚwÚ occasions uWu did urge ;;w;; me to put :33 off; >_> but ^.^ he hath 
^w^ conjuw'd ;;w;; me ^w^ beyond ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds :3 appeaw. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^w^ In ^.^ wike ^w^ mannyew UwU was UwU I uWu in >_> debt to x3 my importunate 
business, >_> but ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot hear x3 my uWu excuse. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy, when ^.^ he 
sent to :3 bowwow of uWu me, :3 that x3 my x3 pwovision UwU was OwO out. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick of :3 that grief :3 too, >_< as UwU I understand >w< how aww 
^.^ things ÚwÚ go. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Evewy x3 man hewe's :3 so. >_> What ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he uWu have bowwowed of 
you? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^-^ A thousand x3 pieces. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^-^ A thousand pieces! 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> What of you? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. >w< He sent to uWu me, >_< siw- OwO hewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. 

Entew >w< TIMON ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

x3 TIMON. With aww x3 my uWu heawt, gentlemen UwU both! xDD And >w< how ^-^ fawe you? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^w^ Evew uWu at x3 the ^w^ best, hearing weww of x3 youw wowdship. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. uWu The swawwow xDD fowwows nyot ^-^ summew ^.^ mowe ^.^ wiwwing than ^.^ we 
x3 youw wowdship. 
x3 TIMON. :3 [Aside] x3 Nyow ^.^ mowe ^w^ wiwwingwy >w< weaves wintew; xDD such summew-biwds 
OwO awe UwU men- ÚwÚ Gentwemen, UwU ouw dinner xDD wiww nyot recompense ÚwÚ this ^-^ wong 
>_< stay; >_> feast x3 youw OwO eaws with x3 the uWu music awhiwe, >_> if ;;w;; they xDD wiww ^-^ fawe UwU so 
ÚwÚ hawshwy ^.^ o' x3 th' twumpet's >w< sound; ^.^ we UwU shaww uWu to't presently. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU I UwU hope >w< it remains nyot unkindly with x3 youw OwO wowdship :3 that 
UwU I wetuwn'd xDD you >w< an :33 empty :3 messengew. 
x3 TIMON. x3 O ^w^ siw, wet >w< it nyot >_> twoubwe OwO you. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. OwO My x3 nyobwe wowd- 
x3 TIMON. xDD Ah, x3 my ÚwÚ good fwiend, >_> what ^.^ cheew? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. OwO My UwU most ^.^ honyouwabwe uWu wowd, UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ e'en >w< sick of ^-^ shame :3 that, 
when x3 youw OwO wowdship ÚwÚ this othew day sent to uWu me, UwU I UwU was UwU so 
:33 unfowtunyate :3 a x3 beggaw. 
x3 TIMON. ^w^ Think nyot on't, sir. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD had sent >_> but >w< two >_> houws OwO befowe- 
x3 TIMON. Let >w< it nyot cumber x3 youw xDD bettew :3 wemembwance. ;;w;; [The :33 banquet 
^.^ bwought in] ^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing uWu in aww together. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. All cover'd dishes! 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> Woyaw cheew, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. Doubt nyot :3 that, >_> if monyey ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< season ^.^ can yield :3 it. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. How UwU do you? x3 What's x3 the nyews? 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. UwU Awcibiades >_> is xDD banyish'd. >w< Heaw xDD you of :33 it? 
uWu FIWST ;;w;; AND ^w^ SECOND ÚwÚ WOWDS. UwU Awcibiades banish'd! 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. 'Tis >_> so, be >_< suwe of :3 it. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ÚwÚ How? ÚwÚ how? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. UwU I pray UwU you, ;;w;; upon UwU what? 
x3 TIMON. OwO My ÚwÚ wowthy OwO fwiends, xDD wiww xDD you dwaw ;;w;; nyeaw? 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. I'll tell xDD you ^.^ mowe x3 anyon. >_> Hewe's :3 a x3 nyobwe >_> feast towawd. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. This >_> is x3 the ;;w;; owd x3 man xDD stiww. 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. Will't ;;w;; howd? Will't ;;w;; howd? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. ^.^ It :3 does; >_> but time ;;w;; wiww- ÚwÚ and OwO so- 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. UwU I UwU do x3 conceive. 
x3 TIMON. x3 Each x3 man to :33 his :33 stoow with :3 that ^w^ spuw >_< as ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd to x3 the >_< wip 
of :33 his mistress; x3 youw >_> diet UwU shaww be uWu in aww pwaces alike. ^-^ Make nyot 
:3 a UwU city >_> feast of :33 it, to wet x3 the :3 meat :3 coow ere ^.^ we ^.^ can agree ;;w;; upon 
x3 the xDD fiwst ;;w;; pwace. >_> Sit, >_< sit. uWu The gods xDD wequiwe UwU ouw :3 thanks: 

>_> You great benyefactows, sprinkle UwU ouw >w< society with thankfulness. 
For x3 youw UwU own ^.^ gifts >_< make youwsewves pwais'd; >_> but reserve still to 
give, xDD west x3 youw >_< deities be despised. uWu Wend to >_< each x3 man UwU enyough, 
:3 that one >_< nyeed nyot xDD wend to another; fow :3 wewe x3 youw OwO god-heads to 
:3 bowwow of men, ;;w;; men ^.^ wouwd ^w^ fowsake x3 the gods. ^-^ Make x3 the :3 meat be 
beloved ^.^ mowe than x3 the x3 man :3 that ;;w;; gives :3 it. Let nyo assembly of 
ÚwÚ twenty be ^-^ without :3 a ÚwÚ scowe of viwwains. ;;w;; If there sit >_< twewve x3 women 
uWu at x3 the ^-^ tabwe, wet :3 a ^.^ dozen of them ^-^ be- >_< as ;;w;; they x3 awe. uWu The xDD west of 
x3 youw ;;w;; foes, x3 O uWu gods, x3 the :3 senyatows of :3 Athens, togethew with x3 the 
^w^ common lag of >_> peopwe, >_> what >_> is uWu amiss uWu in ÚwÚ them, xDD you uWu gods, >_< make 
^-^ suitabwe fow ^.^ destwuction. For these x3 my xDD pwesent OwO fwiends, >_< as ;;w;; they 
OwO awe to ;;w;; me uWu nyothing, UwU so uWu in >_< nyothing ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and to >_< nyothing OwO awe 
;;w;; they x3 wewcome. 

:3 Uncuvw, xDD dogs, ÚwÚ and :3 wap. ;;w;; [The ^-^ dishes OwO awe uncuvwed ÚwÚ and 
:3 seen to ^.^ he full of wawm water] 
^w^ SOME uWu SPEAK. >_> What does :33 his OwO wowdship ^.^ mean? 
^w^ SOME uWu OTHEW. UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ May xDD you :3 a xDD bettew >_> feast >_< nyevew behowd, 
>_> You >_< knyot of mouth-friends! :3 Smoke ÚwÚ and :3 wukewawm UwU watew 
Is x3 youw perfection. This >_> is >_< Timon's last; 
UwU Who, ^.^ stuck ÚwÚ and UwU spangwed with x3 youw flatteries, 
uWu Washes >w< it ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and sprinkles uWu in x3 youw faces 
[Thwowing x3 the UwU watew uWu in uWu theiw ;;w;; faces] 
uWu Youw weeking x3 viwwainy. Wive loath'd ÚwÚ and long, 
:3 Most :3 smiwing, ÚwÚ smooth, :3 detested xDD pawasites, 
Couwteous destwoyews, affabwe ^-^ wowves, >_> meek bears, 
>_> You foows of fowtunye, twenchew OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ time's flies, 
^.^ Cap ÚwÚ and knyee swaves, vapours, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; minyute-wacks! 
Of x3 man ÚwÚ and beast x3 the :3 infinyite ^w^ mawady 
Cwust xDD you quite o'ew! What, dost xDD thou >w< go? 
^-^ Soft, OwO take >w< thy ;;w;; physic first; xDD thou :3 too, ÚwÚ and thou. 
Stay, UwU I xDD wiww xDD wend uWu thee monyey, :3 bowwow none. [Throws x3 the 
^-^ dishes uWu at ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and drives them out] 
What, aww uWu in >w< motion? ÚwÚ Hencefowth be nyo >_> feast 
Wheweat :3 a >_> viwwain's nyot :3 a wewcome :33 guest. 
Burn house! ^-^ Sink ;;w;; Athens! ÚwÚ Hencefowth hated be 
Of OwO Timon x3 man ÚwÚ and aww uWu humanyity! uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew x3 the ;;w;; WOWDS 

uWu FIWST WOWD. How now, x3 my lords! 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. xDD Knyow xDD you x3 the ;;w;; quawity of Lord >_< Timon's xDD fuwy? 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. x3 Push! Did xDD you >_> see x3 my cap? 
;;w;; FOUWTH WOWD. UwU I uWu have wost x3 my xDD gown. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. He's >_> but :3 a ^-^ mad uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and >_< nyought >_> but humours >_< sways ^.^ him. 
>w< He uWu gave ;;w;; me :3 a jewel x3 th' othew ^-^ day, ÚwÚ and nyow ^.^ he >_> has xDD beat >w< it x3 out of 
x3 my >w< hat. Did xDD you >_> see x3 my uWu jewew? 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. Did xDD you >_> see x3 my cap? 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. :3 Hewe UwU 'tis. 
;;w;; FOUWTH WOWD. :3 Hewe wies x3 my xDD gown. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. :3 Wet's >_< make nyo >_< stay. 
^w^ SECOND WOWD. Lord >_< Timon's >_> mad. 
^w^ THIWD WOWD. UwU I feew't ;;w;; upon x3 my xDD bonyes. 
;;w;; FOUWTH WOWD. x3 Onye day ^.^ he ;;w;; gives >_> us ;;w;; diamonds, :3 nyext day ÚwÚ stonyes. 
Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Without x3 the OwO wawws of ^.^ Athens 

Entew >w< TIMON 

x3 TIMON. Let ;;w;; me wook back ;;w;; upon thee. x3 O xDD thou waww 
:33 That >w< giwdwes uWu in UwU those ^-^ wowves, ^w^ dive uWu in x3 the ^.^ eawth 
xDD And ;;w;; fence nyot ;;w;; Athens! >_> Matwons, turn UwU incontinyent. 
Obedience, fail uWu in ;;w;; chiwdwen! >_< Swaves ÚwÚ and :3 foows, 
Pluck x3 the :3 gwave wwinkwed :33 Senyate from x3 the bench 
xDD And xDD minyistew uWu in uWu theiw ÚwÚ steads. ;;w;; To general fiwths 
Convewt, ^.^ o' x3 th' ÚwÚ instant, green virginity. 
;;w;; Do't uWu in x3 youw parents' :3 eyes. x3 Bankwupts, howd x3 fast; 
Rather than render back, x3 out with x3 youw >_> knyives 
xDD And :3 cut x3 youw xDD twustews' >_< thwoats. ^.^ Bound x3 sewvants, :33 steaw: 
ÚwÚ Wawge-handed ^.^ wobbews x3 youw :3 gwave >w< mastews awe, 
xDD And ^.^ piww ^.^ by law. ^.^ Maid, to >w< thy xDD mastew's OwO bed: 
x3 Thy mistwess >_> is ^.^ o' x3 th' ^-^ bwothew. ^-^ Son of sixteen, 
Pluck x3 the :3 win'd :33 cwutch from >w< thy ;;w;; owd wimping >w< siwe, 
With >w< it xDD beat x3 out :33 his ^w^ bwains. Piety ÚwÚ and ;;w;; feaw, 
xDD Wewigion to x3 the uWu gods, ÚwÚ peace, justice, truth, 
Domestic awe, ^-^ nyight-west, ÚwÚ and ^.^ nyeighbouwhood, 
Instruction, :3 mannyews, mystewies, ÚwÚ and twades, 
^.^ Degwees, OwO obsewvances, UwU customs ÚwÚ and ^-^ waws, 
>_< Decwinye to x3 youw >_< confounding contraries 
xDD And wet :3 confusion wive. ^.^ Pwagues :3 incident to men, 
uWu Youw x3 potent ÚwÚ and xDD infectious fevers >_< heap 
On :3 Athens, ripe fow ^-^ stwoke. ^.^ Thou UwU cowd uWu sciatica, 
Cripple UwU ouw senyatows, :3 that uWu theiw x3 wimbs OwO may UwU hawt 
;;w;; As wamewy >_< as uWu theiw mannyews. Lust ÚwÚ and >w< wibewty, 
Creep uWu in x3 the minds ÚwÚ and ;;w;; mawwows of UwU ouw youth, 
:33 That uWu 'gainst x3 the stweam of viwtue ;;w;; they OwO may strive 
xDD And x3 dwown x3 themsewves uWu in riot. Itches, uWu bwains, 
^.^ Sow aww x3 th' xDD Athenyian UwU bosoms, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw crop 
^w^ Be general leprosy! >w< Bweath ÚwÚ infect :33 bweath, 
:33 That uWu theiw uWu society, >_< as uWu theiw ^-^ fwiendship, OwO may 
^w^ Be mewewy OwO poison! Nyothing I'll UwU beaw from uWu thee 
OwO But xDD nyakednyess, xDD thou ^.^ detestabwe >w< town! 
^.^ Take xDD thou :3 that :3 too, with multiplying ^-^ bans. 
OwO Timon xDD wiww to x3 the ;;w;; woods, :3 whewe ^.^ he UwU shaww find 
xDD Th' unkindest beast ^.^ mowe kinder than mankind. 
uWu The gods ^.^ confound- hear uWu me, xDD you ÚwÚ good gods ;;w;; aww- 
uWu The ^-^ Athenyians both within ÚwÚ and x3 out :3 that waww! 
xDD And grant, >_< as OwO Timon >_> gwows, :33 his ^-^ hate OwO may gwow 
;;w;; To x3 the whole race of uWu mankind, xDD high ÚwÚ and low! 
ÚwÚ Amen. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OwO Athens. ^w^ TIMON's ;;w;; house 

Entew ;;w;; FWAVIUS, with >w< two ow >w< thwee ^-^ SEWVANTS 

uWu FIWST SEWVANT. >w< Heaw UwU you, >_< Mastew Stewawd, where's UwU ouw ÚwÚ mastew? 
^w^ Awe ^.^ we >_< undonye, ;;w;; cast ^w^ off, >_< nyothing ;;w;; wemainying? 
FWAVIUS. xDD Awack, x3 my fewwows, >_> what >_> shouwd UwU I >_> say to you? 
Let ;;w;; me be wecowded ^.^ by x3 the xDD wighteous uWu gods, 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as poor >_< as OwO you. 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. >w< Such :3 a ;;w;; house uWu bwoke! 
^w^ So x3 nyobwe :3 a >_< mastew faww'n! All >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and nyot 
x3 Onye :33 fwiend to OwO take :33 his :3 fowtunye ^.^ by x3 the awm 
xDD And OwO go :3 awong with him? 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. ;;w;; As ^.^ we UwU do turn UwU ouw backs 
Fwom UwU ouw >_< companyion, :33 thwown x3 into :33 his ^-^ gwave, 
^w^ So :33 his UwU famiwiaws to :33 his buried fowtunyes 
:3 Swink aww :3 away; OwO weave uWu theiw UwU fawse x3 vows with :3 him, 
Wike :33 empty purses pick'd; ÚwÚ and :33 his poor ;;w;; sewf, 
^-^ A >_> dedicated beggar to x3 the air, 
With :33 his ÚwÚ disease of UwU aww-shunn'd puvwty, 
^-^ Wawks, ^.^ wike ^.^ contempt, >_< awonye. uWu Mowe of UwU ouw fellows. 

Entew othew ^-^ SEWVANTS 

FWAVIUS. All xDD bwoken ^w^ impwements of :3 a ;;w;; wuin'd ÚwÚ house. 
^w^ THIWD SEWVANT. ÚwÚ Yet UwU do UwU ouw heawts ^-^ weaw >_< Timon's >_< wivewy; 
:33 That >_> see UwU I ^.^ by UwU ouw UwU faces. We OwO awe ^w^ fewwows still, 
Serving :33 awike uWu in ;;w;; sowwow. Weak'd >_> is UwU ouw >w< bawk; 
xDD And :33 we, poor >w< mates, stand on x3 the dying ^w^ deck, 
Heawing x3 the suwges xDD thweat. We ^w^ must aww ÚwÚ pawt 
^.^ Into ÚwÚ this sea of air. 
FWAVIUS. ^-^ Good ^w^ fewwows all, 
uWu The ^-^ watest of x3 my weawth I'll share amongst OwO you. 
>_< Whewevew ^.^ we UwU shaww ^w^ meet, fow >_< Timon's ^w^ sake, 
:3 Wet's yet be UwU fewwows; >_> wet's ;;w;; shake UwU ouw heads ÚwÚ and say, 
;;w;; As >w< 'twewe :3 a knell >w< unto UwU ouw xDD mastew's fowtunye, 
ÚwÚ 'We uWu have :3 seen xDD bettew ^.^ days.' Let >_< each OwO take some. 
>_> [Giving them ;;w;; monyey] 
Nyay, put x3 out aww x3 youw ^w^ hands. ÚwÚ Nyot one ;;w;; wowd uWu mowe! 
^-^ Thus ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ we rich uWu in >_> sowwow, >w< pawting :3 poow. 
:3 [Embwace, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ pawt sevewaw ^w^ ways] 
x3 O x3 the >_< fiewce ^-^ wwetchednyess :3 that :3 gwowy >_< bwings ÚwÚ us! 
Who ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ wish to be from weawth ^w^ exempt, 
Since ^w^ wiches :33 point to misery ÚwÚ and >_> contempt? 
Who ^.^ wouwd be UwU so mock'd with xDD gwowy, ow to ^w^ wive 
OwO But uWu in :3 a dweam of ^-^ fwiendship, 
;;w;; To uWu have :33 his pomp, ÚwÚ and aww >_> what >w< state UwU compounds, 
OwO But >w< onwy painted, ^.^ wike :33 his vawnyish'd friends? 
OwO Poow xDD honyest uWu wowd, ^.^ bwought wow ^.^ by :33 his UwU own uWu heawt, 
UwU Undonye ^.^ by goodness! Stwange, >_< unyusuaw bwood, 
x3 When :33 man's worst x3 sin >_> is ^.^ he does ^w^ too much >w< good! 
Who xDD then x3 dawes to be half UwU so uWu kind ^w^ again? 
For x3 bounty, :3 that x3 makes uWu gods, does still >_> maw ^.^ men. 
OwO My deawest wowd- bwest to be UwU most accurst, 
Wich >w< onwy to be wwetched- >w< thy great fowtunyes 
^w^ Awe UwU made >w< thy uWu chief afflictions. ÚwÚ Awas, uWu kind ^.^ wowd! 
He's UwU fwung uWu in xDD wage from ÚwÚ this UwU ingwatefuw uWu seat 
Of monstwous >_< fwiends; nor >_> has ^.^ he with ^.^ him to 
uWu Suppwy :33 his :3 wife, ow :3 that which ^.^ can ÚwÚ command :3 it. 
I'll ;;w;; fowwow ÚwÚ and ^.^ enquiwe ^.^ him OwO out. 
I'll OwO evew serve :33 his ^-^ mind with x3 my best :33 wiww; 
Whilst UwU I uWu have ^.^ gowd, I'll be :33 his steward xDD stiww. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The :33 woods nyeaw x3 the ^w^ sea-showe. ^.^ Befowe ÚwÚ TIMON'S cave 

Entew >w< TIMON uWu in x3 the :33 woods 

x3 TIMON. x3 O blessed xDD bweeding sun, dwaw from x3 the ^.^ eawth 
^.^ Wotten ÚwÚ humidity; bewow >w< thy OwO sistew's owb 
Infect x3 the air! :33 Twinn'd bwothews of one womb- 
>_< Whose procreation, wesidence, ÚwÚ and birth, 
Scarce >_> is UwU dividant- :33 touch them with sevewaw fortunes: 
uWu The :33 gweatew scorns x3 the ^.^ wessew. ÚwÚ Nyot nyatuwe, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom aww x3 sowes uWu way >_< siege, ^.^ can UwU beaw great :3 fowtunye 
OwO But ^.^ by x3 contempt of :33 nyatuwe. 
Waise ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this beggar ÚwÚ and >w< deny't :3 that wowd: 
uWu The senyatow UwU shaww UwU beaw x3 contempt x3 heweditawy, 
uWu The beggar OwO nyative honyouw. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the pastuwe x3 wawds x3 the rother's :33 sides, 
uWu The ^.^ want :3 that x3 makes ^.^ him :3 wean. Who x3 dawes, who x3 dawes, 
^w^ In xDD puwity of manhood stand upright, 
xDD And >_> say 'This :33 man's :3 a x3 fwattewew'? ;;w;; If one be, 
^w^ So OwO awe ;;w;; they aww; fow every grise of :3 fowtunye 
Is uWu smooth'd ^.^ by :3 that below. uWu The :33 weawnyed OwO pate 
Ducks to x3 the golden xDD foow. ^-^ Aww's :33 obwique; 
>_> Thewe's >_< nyothing ^w^ wevew uWu in UwU ouw uWu cuwsed natures 
OwO But direct x3 viwwainy. Therefore be >_> abhoww'd 
All feasts, ^.^ societies, ÚwÚ and x3 thwongs of :3 men! 
ÚwÚ His :3 sembwabwe, >w< yea, himsewf, OwO Timon ^-^ disdains. 
Destruction fang x3 mankind! ^.^ Eawth, yield ;;w;; me ^.^ woots. 
xDD [Digging] 
Who >_> seeks fow xDD bettew of ÚwÚ thee, UwU sauce :33 his palate 
With >w< thy UwU most >_< opewant poison. >_> What >_> is hewe? 
Gold? Yellow, gwittewing, >_< pwecious UwU gowd? :3 Nyo, uWu gods, 
UwU I ^w^ am nyo idle ^w^ votawist. Roots, xDD you ^-^ cweaw OwO heavens! 
^-^ Thus much of ÚwÚ this xDD wiww >_< make black >_< white, fouw faiw, 
Wwong wight, UwU base noble, ;;w;; owd >_> young, x3 cowawd ^w^ vawiant. 
>w< Ha, xDD you ^-^ gods! >w< why :3 this? What, uWu this, xDD you >_> gods? Why, ÚwÚ this 
Will ÚwÚ wug x3 youw priests ÚwÚ and :3 sewvants from x3 youw :33 sides, 
Pluck :33 stout men's OwO piwwows from bewow uWu theiw heads- 
This >w< yewwow ;;w;; swave 
Will >w< knyit ÚwÚ and bweak religions, ;;w;; bwess x3 th' >_< accuws'd, 
^-^ Make x3 the ÚwÚ hoaw ^-^ wepwosy ÚwÚ adow'd, :33 pwace thieves 
xDD And UwU give them :3 titwe, OwO knyee, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ appwobation, 
With :3 senyatows on x3 the bench. This >_> is >w< it 
:33 That x3 makes x3 the wappen'd ^.^ widow x3 wed ^w^ again- 
:33 She ÚwÚ whom x3 the spitaw-house ÚwÚ and ulcerous x3 sowes 
Wouwd ;;w;; cast x3 the xDD gowge uWu at ÚwÚ this embawms ÚwÚ and spices 
;;w;; To ^-^ th 'Apwiw day ;;w;; again. ^.^ Come, damn'd earth, 
^.^ Thou ^w^ common whore of uWu mankind, :3 that puts ^w^ odds 
>_> Among x3 the UwU wout of ;;w;; nyations, UwU I xDD wiww >_< make uWu thee 
Do >w< thy >w< wight :33 nyatuwe. ^w^ [Mawch afaw off] 
uWu Ha! :3 a drum? Th'art quick, 
OwO But yet I'll ^.^ buwy thee. :3 Thou't x3 go, >w< stwong :33 thief, 
x3 When uWu gouty x3 keepews of uWu thee ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ stand. 
Nyay, xDD stay xDD thou x3 out fow >w< eawnyest. x3 [Keeping x3 some gold] 

Entew ;;w;; AWCIBIADES, with drum ÚwÚ and ^.^ fife, uWu in warlike 
:3 mannyew; ÚwÚ and :33 PHWYNyIA ÚwÚ and TIMANDRA 

^w^ AWCIBIADES. >_> What awt xDD thou OwO thewe? :33 Speak. 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ A ^.^ beast, >_< as xDD thou art. uWu The ;;w;; cankew gnaw >w< thy >_< heawt 
For ^.^ showing ;;w;; me again x3 the eyes of ;;w;; man! 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. >_> What >_> is >w< thy :3 nyame? Is x3 man UwU so hateful to uWu thee 
:33 That awt >w< thysewf :3 a man? 
x3 TIMON. UwU I ^w^ am Misanthropos, ÚwÚ and ^-^ hate mankind. 
For >w< thy >_> pawt, UwU I UwU do ÚwÚ wish xDD thou OwO wewt :3 a dog, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ might wuv uWu thee OwO something. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee well; 
OwO But uWu in >w< thy fowtunyes ^w^ am OwO unweawn'd ÚwÚ and x3 stwange. 
x3 TIMON. UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee :3 too; ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe than :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee 
UwU I nyot ^.^ desiwe to :33 knyow. Follow >w< thy uWu dwum; 
With :33 man's :3 bwood OwO paint x3 the ground, >_> guwes, ;;w;; guwes. 
Wewigious :33 canyons, ÚwÚ civiw ^-^ waws, OwO awe :3 cwuew; 
UwU Then >_> what >_> shouwd >w< waw :3 be? This UwU feww whore of ^.^ thinye 
>_< Hath uWu in her ^.^ mowe >w< destwuction than >w< thy xDD swowd 
For aww her >_< chewubin wook. 
PHRYNIA. x3 Thy lips uWu wot off! 
x3 TIMON. UwU I xDD wiww nyot :3 kiss ÚwÚ thee; xDD then x3 the uWu wot wetuwns 
;;w;; To ^.^ thinye UwU own lips ;;w;; again. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. How ^-^ came x3 the x3 nyobwe OwO Timon to ÚwÚ this ;;w;; change? 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; As x3 the ;;w;; moon >w< does, ^.^ by ^-^ wanting >w< wight to give. 
OwO But xDD then renew UwU I couwd >_> nyot, ^.^ wike x3 the moon; 
>_> Thewe :3 wewe nyo >_> suns to :3 bowwow uWu of. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. Noble >w< Timon, 
>_> What ÚwÚ fwiendship OwO may UwU I UwU do thee? 
x3 TIMON. ÚwÚ Nyonye, >_> but to 
xDD Maintain x3 my opinyion. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. >_> What >_> is :33 it, :3 Timon? 
x3 TIMON. Promise ;;w;; me ^-^ fwiendship, >_> but x3 pewfowm none. ;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt nyot 
;;w;; pwomise, x3 the gods pwague ÚwÚ thee, fow xDD thou awt ;;w;; man! ;;w;; If xDD thou dost 
xDD pewfowm, confound ÚwÚ thee, fow xDD thou awt :3 a ;;w;; man! 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. UwU I uWu have heard uWu in x3 some ;;w;; sowt of >w< thy :33 misewies. 
x3 TIMON. ^.^ Thou ^w^ saw'st them when UwU I xDD had prosperity. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. UwU I >_> see them >_< nyow; xDD then UwU was :3 a blessed uWu time. 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; As ^.^ thinye >_> is now, hewd with :3 a ;;w;; bwace of xDD hawwots. 
>_> TIMANDWA. Is ÚwÚ this x3 th' xDD Athenyian uWu minyion ÚwÚ whom x3 the wowwd 
>_< Voic'd UwU so ÚwÚ wegawdfuwwy? 
x3 TIMON. Awt xDD thou Timandra? 
>_> TIMANDWA. x3 Yes. 
x3 TIMON. ^w^ Be :3 a whore stiww; ;;w;; they wuv uWu thee nyot :3 that use thee. 
Give them ^.^ diseases, xDD weaving with uWu thee uWu theiw xDD wust. 
^-^ Make use of >w< thy ^-^ sawt hours. ^w^ Season x3 the xDD swaves 
For tubs ÚwÚ and >w< baths; ;;w;; bwing down rose-cheek'd :33 youth 
;;w;; To x3 the x3 tub-fast ÚwÚ and x3 the diet. 
>_> TIMANDWA. Hang ÚwÚ thee, monstew! 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. ^w^ Pawdon :3 him, x3 sweet Timandra, fow :33 his :33 wits 
^w^ Awe >w< dwown'd ÚwÚ and wost uWu in :33 his :33 cawamities. 
UwU I uWu have >_> but xDD wittwe gowd of late, >_< bwave >w< Timon, 
uWu The ^.^ want xDD wheweof xDD doth x3 daiwy >_< make ;;w;; wevowt 
^w^ In x3 my OwO penyuwious UwU band. UwU I uWu have ^-^ heawd, ÚwÚ and griev'd, 
How uWu cuwsed :3 Athens, mindless of >w< thy ^.^ wowth, 
Fowgetting >w< thy great uWu deeds, when OwO nyeighbouw states, 
OwO But fow >w< thy xDD swowd ÚwÚ and fowtunye, twod ;;w;; upon OwO them- 
x3 TIMON. UwU I :33 pwithee xDD beat >w< thy drum ÚwÚ and get uWu thee ;;w;; gonye. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy fwiend, ÚwÚ and pity ÚwÚ thee, uWu deaw xDD Timon. 
x3 TIMON. How dost xDD thou pity ^.^ him ÚwÚ whom xDD thou dost trouble? 
UwU I xDD had rather be >_< awonye. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. Why, ^-^ fawe uWu thee well; 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 some gowd fow thee. 
x3 TIMON. ^w^ Keep >w< it: UwU I ;;w;; cannyot eat :3 it. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. x3 When UwU I uWu have laid OwO pwoud ^.^ Athens on :3 a >_< heap- 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; Waw'st xDD thou uWu 'gainst Athens? 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. Ay, >w< Timon, ÚwÚ and uWu have OwO cause. 
x3 TIMON. uWu The gods confound them aww uWu in >w< thy :33 conquest; 
xDD And uWu thee after, when xDD thou x3 hast >_> conquew'd! 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. Why uWu me, :3 Timon? 
x3 TIMON. :33 That ^.^ by UwU kiwwing of x3 viwwains 
^.^ Thou >w< wast bown to conquer x3 my country. 
>_> Put x3 up >w< thy ;;w;; gowd. Go :3 on. >_> Hewe's ;;w;; gowd. Go :3 on. 
^w^ Be >_< as :3 a :3 pwanyetawy :3 pwague, when Juv 
Will ^-^ o'ew x3 some >w< high-vic'd UwU city ^w^ hang :33 his x3 poison 
^w^ In x3 the >w< sick air; wet nyot >w< thy xDD swowd UwU skip onye. 
x3 Pity nyot :3 honyouw'd age fow :33 his ^-^ white >_> beawd: 
>w< He >_> is >w< an ^.^ usuwew. OwO Stwike ;;w;; me x3 the OwO countewfeit matwon: 
^.^ It >_> is her OwO habit >w< onwy :3 that >_> is OwO honyest, 
Hewsewf's :3 a UwU bawd. Let nyot x3 the viwgin's >_< cheek 
^-^ Make soft >w< thy ^.^ twenchant ^-^ swowd; fow UwU those milk ÚwÚ paps 
:33 That ^w^ thwough x3 the window bars bore uWu at men's eyes 
^w^ Awe nyot within x3 the OwO weaf of pity ;;w;; wwit, 
OwO But uWu set them down howwibwe twaitows. ^w^ Spawe nyot x3 the >w< babe 
>_< Whose dimpwed ^-^ smiwes from foows ^w^ exhaust uWu theiw ÚwÚ mewcy; 
^w^ Think >w< it :3 a ^.^ bastawd ÚwÚ whom x3 the ^-^ owacwe 
>_< Hath doubtfully ^-^ pwonyounc'd >w< thy ^w^ thwoat UwU shaww :3 cut, 
xDD And mince >w< it x3 sans :33 wemowse. Swear OwO against abjects; 
>_> Put ^-^ awmouw on ^.^ thinye OwO eaws ÚwÚ and on ^.^ thinye ^w^ eyes, 
>_< Whose xDD pwoof nor yells of mothews, >_< maids, nor uWu babes, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ sight of priests uWu in >w< howy ;;w;; vestments uWu bweeding, 
Shall xDD piewce :3 a jot. >_> Thewe's gowd to x3 pay >w< thy soldiers. 
^-^ Make large ^w^ confusion; x3 and, >w< thy UwU fuwy >_< spent, 
;;w;; Confounded be OwO thysewf! ^w^ Speak >_> nyot, be ;;w;; gonye. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. Hast xDD thou gowd :33 yet? I'll OwO take x3 the gowd xDD thou uWu givest uWu me, 
ÚwÚ Nyot aww >w< thy :3 counsew. 
x3 TIMON. uWu Dost UwU thou, ow dost xDD thou >_> nyot, heaven's UwU cuwse ;;w;; upon uWu thee! 
:33 PHWYNyIA ;;w;; AND >_> TIMANDWA. Give >_> us x3 some ^.^ gowd, ÚwÚ good xDD Timon. 
Hast xDD thou UwU mowe? 
x3 TIMON. Enyough to >_< make :3 a whore >w< fowsweaw her twade, 
xDD And to >_< make ^-^ whowes :3 a UwU bawd. :33 Howd up, xDD you >_< swuts, 
uWu Youw aprons :3 mountant; xDD you OwO awe nyot x3 oathabwe, 
Awthough UwU I ^.^ knyow you'ww x3 sweaw, terribly x3 sweaw, 
^.^ Into >w< stwong >_> shuddews ÚwÚ and to ^-^ heavenwy >_< agues, 
xDD Th' :3 immowtaw gods :3 that hear OwO you. ^w^ Spawe x3 youw :3 oaths; 
I'll :33 twust to x3 youw conditions. ^w^ Be ^-^ whowes stiww; 
xDD And ^.^ he x3 whose :33 pious UwU bweath >_> seeks to convert :3 you- 
^w^ Be >w< stwong uWu in ^-^ whowe, :3 awwuwe :3 him, buwn ^.^ him xDD up; 
Let x3 youw ^-^ cwose fire predominate :33 his ^.^ smoke, 
xDD And be nyo ^-^ tuwncoats. ÚwÚ Yet OwO may x3 youw ^w^ pains six ^w^ months 
^w^ Be quite contwawy! xDD And UwU thatch x3 youw poor >_< thin woofs 
With burdens of x3 the >w< dead- x3 some :3 that :3 wewe uWu hang'd, 
No :3 mattew. :3 Weaw ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ betway with OwO them. OwO Whowe stiww; 
OwO Paint >w< tiww :3 a UwU howse OwO may miwe ;;w;; upon x3 youw ;;w;; face. 
^-^ A uWu pox of ^w^ wwinkwes! 
:33 PHWYNyIA ;;w;; AND >_> TIMANDWA. xDD Weww, ^.^ mowe ;;w;; gowd. >_> What ^w^ then? 
x3 Bewieve't :3 that we'll UwU do ;;w;; anything fow ;;w;; gowd. 
x3 TIMON. Consumptions ;;w;; sow 
^w^ In OwO howwow bones of xDD man; strike uWu theiw ^-^ shawp UwU shins, 
xDD And >_> maw men's spurring. Crack x3 the ^-^ wawyew's voice, 
:33 That ^.^ he OwO may >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe UwU fawse ;;w;; titwe ^-^ pwead, 
x3 Nyow >_> sound :33 his quiwwets x3 shwiwwy. Hoaw x3 the x3 fwamen, 
:33 That scowds OwO against x3 the ;;w;; quawity of >w< fwesh 
xDD And nyot ^-^ bewieves himself. xDD Down with x3 the nose, 
xDD Down with >w< it flat, OwO take x3 the :33 bwidge quite OwO away 
Of ^.^ him :3 that, :33 his xDD pawticuwaw to >w< fowesee, 
>w< Smewws from x3 the general weaw. ^-^ Make x3 cuww'd-pate >w< wuffians bald, 
xDD And wet x3 the unscarr'd bwaggawts of x3 the >w< waw 
Dewive x3 some :33 pain from OwO you. Pwague all, 
:33 That x3 youw OwO activity OwO may :3 defeat ÚwÚ and OwO queww 
uWu The uWu souwce of aww ;;w;; ewection. >_> Thewe's ^.^ mowe ;;w;; gowd. 
Do xDD you damn ^w^ othews, ÚwÚ and wet ÚwÚ this damn UwU you, 
xDD And UwU ditches :3 gwave xDD you :33 aww! 
:33 PHWYNyIA ;;w;; AND >_> TIMANDWA. uWu Mowe counsel with ^.^ mowe monyey, ^.^ bounteous 
xDD Timon. 
x3 TIMON. uWu Mowe ^-^ whowe, ^.^ mowe ^-^ mischief first; UwU I uWu have UwU given xDD you >w< eawnyest. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. OwO Stwike x3 up x3 the drum uWu towawds OwO Athens. UwU Faweweww, uWu Timon; 
;;w;; If UwU I x3 thwive weww, I'll x3 visit uWu thee ;;w;; again. 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU hope weww, I'll >_< nyevew >_> see uWu thee more. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. UwU I >_< nyevew uWu did uWu thee harm. 
x3 TIMON. Yes, xDD thou >_< spok'st weww of x3 me. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. Caww'st xDD thou :3 that harm? 
x3 TIMON. OwO Men x3 daiwy find :3 it. >_< Get uWu thee away, ÚwÚ and OwO take 
x3 Thy beagles with thee. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. We >_> but ^-^ offend ^.^ him. :33 Stwike. 
Drum :3 beats. Exeunt aww >_> but >w< TIMON 
x3 TIMON. :33 That nyatuwe, ^.^ being >w< sick of :33 man's ;;w;; unkindnyess, 
Should yet be hungry! Common :33 mothew, UwU thou, xDD [Digging] 
>_< Whose womb unmeasurable ÚwÚ and :3 infinyite breast 
xDD Teems ÚwÚ and xDD feeds aww; x3 whose sewf-same ^w^ mettwe, 
:3 Wheweof >w< thy OwO pwoud child, awwogant ^w^ man, >_> is xDD puff'd, 
Engenders x3 the black OwO toad ÚwÚ and >_> addew blue, 
uWu The :3 giwded newt ÚwÚ and >_< eyewess ;;w;; venyom'd ;;w;; wowm, 
With aww x3 th' ;;w;; abhowwed x3 biwths bewow ^.^ cwisp heaven 
Wheweon uWu Hypewion's quick'nying fire xDD doth shine- 
;;w;; Yiewd :3 him, who aww >w< thy human xDD sons xDD doth hate, 
Fwom fowth >w< thy ^w^ pwenteous x3 bosom, one poor OwO woot! 
uWu Enseaw >w< thy ^.^ fewtiwe ÚwÚ and uWu conceptious womb, 
Let >w< it nyo ^.^ mowe ;;w;; bwing x3 out UwU ingwatefuw ;;w;; man! 
Go great with uWu tigews, dwagons, ^-^ wowves, ÚwÚ and >_< beaws; 
^w^ Teem with x3 nyew :3 monstews ÚwÚ whom >w< thy upward OwO face 
>_< Hath to x3 the marbled >_< mansion aww :33 abuv 
xDD Nyevew presented!- >_< O, :3 a OwO woot! >_< Deaw ^w^ thanks!- 
;;w;; Dwy x3 up >w< thy >_> mawwows, vinyes, ÚwÚ and plough-torn leas, 
:3 Wheweof UwU ingwatefuw ^w^ man, with liquorish draughts 
xDD And ÚwÚ mowsews >_< unctuous, gweases :33 his puwe UwU mind, 
:33 That from >w< it aww UwU considewation swips- 

Entew APEMANTUS 

uWu Mowe man? Pwague, UwU pwague! 
APEMANTUS. UwU I UwU was ^-^ diwected hithew. OwO Men wepowt 
^.^ Thou dost affect x3 my ^w^ mannyews ÚwÚ and dost use OwO them. 
x3 TIMON. UwU 'Tis, >w< then, uWu because xDD thou dost nyot >_< keep :3 a dog, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu imitate. >w< Consumption catch uWu thee! 
APEMANTUS. This >_> is uWu in uWu thee :3 a ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> but infected, 
^-^ A poor xDD unmanwy ^-^ mewanchowy sprung 
Fwom change of xDD fowtunye. Why ÚwÚ this spade, ÚwÚ this :3 pwace? 
This ÚwÚ swave-wike OwO habit ÚwÚ and these :33 wooks of >_> cawe? 
x3 Thy uWu fwattewews yet ^-^ weaw siwk, ÚwÚ dwink wine, >_< wie OwO soft, 
>_> Hug uWu theiw OwO diseas'd pewfumes, ÚwÚ and uWu have fowgot 
:33 That OwO evew OwO Timon uWu was. Shame nyot these :33 woods 
^-^ By ^.^ putting on x3 the x3 cunnying of :3 a carper. 
^w^ Be xDD thou :3 a fwattewew now, ÚwÚ and >_> seek to x3 thwive 
^-^ By :3 that which >_> has ÚwÚ undonye >_< thee: ^-^ hinge >w< thy OwO knyee, 
xDD And wet :33 his xDD vewy UwU bweath ÚwÚ whom thou'lt uWu obsewve 
Blow x3 off >w< thy ^.^ cap; praise :33 his UwU most ^.^ vicious :33 stwain, 
xDD And caww >w< it excellent. ^.^ Thou >w< wast told ^.^ thus; 
^.^ Thou >w< gav'st ^.^ thinye ;;w;; eaws, ^.^ wike tapstews :3 that ;;w;; bade ;;w;; wewcome, 
;;w;; To knyaves ÚwÚ and aww approachers. 'Tis UwU most >w< just 
:33 That xDD thou turn ^-^ wascaw; >w< hadst xDD thou weawth again 
^-^ Wascaws >_> shouwd xDD have't. Do nyot assume x3 my :3 wikenyess. 
x3 TIMON. ^.^ Wewe UwU I ^.^ wike ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; I'd ^-^ thwow OwO away :3 mysewf. 
APEMANTUS. ^.^ Thou x3 hast ;;w;; cast OwO away ;;w;; thysewf, ^.^ being ^.^ wike xDD thysewf; 
^-^ A ÚwÚ madman UwU so long, nyow :3 a xDD foow. What, think'st 
:33 That x3 the bleak air, >w< thy boisterous :3 chambewwain, 
Will put >w< thy shirt on x3 wawm? Will these moist trees, 
:33 That uWu have outwiv'd x3 the :33 eagwe, page >w< thy heels 
xDD And UwU skip when xDD thou >_< point'st out? Will x3 the UwU cowd ÚwÚ bwook, 
^-^ Candied with ice, caudle >w< thy mownying >_> taste 
;;w;; To >w< cuwe >w< thy ^w^ o'ewnyight's suwfeit? ;;w;; Caww x3 the ^-^ cweatuwes 
>_< Whose nyaked natures ^w^ wive uWu in aww x3 the x3 spite 
Of wreakful ^.^ heaven, x3 whose OwO bawe unhoused trunks, 
;;w;; To x3 the conflicting ÚwÚ ewements expos'd, 
Answer mere ^-^ nyatuwe- bid them flatter thee. 
>_< O, xDD thou shalt >_> find- 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ A >w< foow of thee. x3 Depawt. 
APEMANTUS. UwU I wuv uWu thee xDD bettew nyow than ;;w;; e'ew UwU I ^.^ did. 
x3 TIMON. UwU I ^-^ hate uWu thee x3 wowse. 
APEMANTUS. xDD Why? 
x3 TIMON. ^.^ Thou uWu fwattew'st OwO misewy. 
APEMANTUS. UwU I flatter >_> nyot, >_> but >_> say xDD thou awt :3 a x3 caitiff. 
x3 TIMON. Why dost xDD thou >_> seek ;;w;; me out? 
APEMANTUS. ;;w;; To ^-^ vex thee. 
x3 TIMON. Always :3 a >_> viwwain's ^.^ office ow :3 a >_< foow's. 
uWu Dost uWu pwease >w< thysewf in't? 
APEMANTUS. uWu Ay. 
x3 TIMON. What, :3 a x3 knyave xDD too? 
APEMANTUS. ;;w;; If xDD thou :33 didst put ÚwÚ this ;;w;; souw-cowd OwO habit on 
;;w;; To ^-^ castigate >w< thy pride, >w< 'twewe well; >_> but xDD thou 
uWu Dost >w< it enforcedly. >_> Thou'dst couwtiew be again 
:33 Wewt xDD thou nyot x3 beggaw. :3 Wiwwing misery 
:3 Outwives incewtain pomp, >_> is cwown'd befowe. 
uWu The one >_> is filling still, >_< nyevew ;;w;; compwete; 
uWu The ÚwÚ othew, uWu at xDD high ^w^ wish. UwU Best state, contentwess, 
>_< Hath :3 a distracted ÚwÚ and UwU most wwetched x3 being, 
Wowse than x3 the ^.^ wowst, OwO content. 
^.^ Thou ^-^ shouwd'st ^.^ desiwe to >_> die, ^.^ being >w< misewabwe. 
x3 TIMON. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ by :33 his UwU bweath :3 that >_> is ^.^ mowe >w< misewabwe. 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a ;;w;; swave ÚwÚ whom Fowtunye's xDD tendew awm 
With ^.^ favouw >_< nyevew ^w^ cwasp'd, >_> but bwed :3 a :33 dog. 
UwU Hadst UwU thou, ^.^ wike >_> us from UwU ouw xDD fiwst >_> swath, >_< pwoceeded 
uWu The x3 sweet >_> degwees :3 that ÚwÚ this bwief wowwd affowds 
;;w;; To xDD such >_< as OwO may x3 the OwO passive drugs of >w< it 
Freely >_> command, xDD thou wouldst uWu have >w< pwung'd >w< thysewf 
^w^ In general :33 wiot, mewted down >w< thy :33 youth 
^w^ In different beds of x3 wust, ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew weawn'd 
uWu The >_< icy precepts of wespect, >_> but fowwowed 
uWu The >_> sug'wed game >w< befowe thee. OwO But myself, 
Who xDD had x3 the wowwd >_< as x3 my >_> confectionyawy; 
uWu The ^w^ mouths, x3 the tongues, x3 the ^w^ eyes, ÚwÚ and heawts of ;;w;; men 
At >_< duty, ^.^ mowe than UwU I couwd fwame :3 empwoyment; 
:33 That numberless ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me stuck, >_< as >w< weaves 
Do on x3 the ÚwÚ oak, uWu have with one winter's bwush 
Feww from uWu theiw :3 boughs, ÚwÚ and left ;;w;; me open, OwO bawe 
For every x3 stowm :3 that >w< bwows- UwU I to UwU beaw uWu this, 
:33 That >_< nyevew UwU knyew >_> but better, >_> is x3 some buwden. 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ nyatuwe uWu did ^.^ commence uWu in x3 suffewance; time 
>_< Hath UwU made uWu thee x3 hawd ÚwÚ in't. Why shouwdst xDD thou ^-^ hate men? 
^-^ They >_< nyevew flatter'd thee. >_> What x3 hast xDD thou ^-^ given? 
;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt cuwse, >w< thy ÚwÚ fathew, :3 that poor rag, 
:3 Must be >w< thy ;;w;; subject; who, uWu in xDD spite, put ^w^ stuff 
;;w;; To x3 some she-beggar ÚwÚ and OwO compounded uWu thee 
OwO Poow ;;w;; wogue hereditary. Hence, be ;;w;; gonye. 
;;w;; If xDD thou >w< hadst nyot :33 been bown x3 the worst of men, 
^.^ Thou >w< hadst :33 been :3 a x3 knyave ÚwÚ and flatterer. 
APEMANTUS. Awt xDD thou OwO pwoud :33 yet? 
x3 TIMON. Ay, :3 that UwU I ^w^ am nyot thee. 
APEMANTUS. I, :3 that UwU I UwU was 
No uWu pwodigaw. 
x3 TIMON. I, :3 that UwU I ^w^ am one now. 
^.^ Wewe aww x3 the weawth UwU I uWu have shut x3 up uWu in ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; I'd UwU give uWu thee OwO weave to ^w^ hang :3 it. >_< Get uWu thee ;;w;; gonye. 
:33 That x3 the whole >w< wife of ^.^ Athens :3 wewe uWu in x3 this! 
^-^ Thus ^.^ wouwd UwU I eat :3 it. OwO [Eating :3 a root] 
APEMANTUS. Here! UwU I xDD wiww mend >w< thy x3 feast. 
>w< [Offewing ^.^ him food] 
x3 TIMON. First mend x3 my ^w^ company: OwO take OwO away thysewf. 
APEMANTUS. ^w^ So UwU I UwU shaww mend >_< minye UwU own ^.^ by x3 th' ^.^ wack of ÚwÚ thinye. 
x3 TIMON. 'Tis nyot weww mended so; >w< it >_> is >_> but >_> botch'd. 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it were. 
APEMANTUS. >_> What wouldst xDD thou uWu have to Athens? 
x3 TIMON. uWu Thee uWu thithew uWu in :3 a ^-^ whiwwwind. ;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt, 
Teww them there UwU I uWu have x3 gowd; look, UwU so UwU I :3 have. 
APEMANTUS. :3 Hewe >_> is nyo use fow ;;w;; gowd. 
x3 TIMON. uWu The best ÚwÚ and ;;w;; twuest; 
For OwO hewe >w< it sweeps ÚwÚ and does nyo hired harm. 
APEMANTUS. Whewe wiest :3 a nyights, :3 Timon? 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; Undew ^w^ that's :33 abuv x3 me. 
Whewe ÚwÚ feed'st xDD thou :3 a uWu days, ^w^ Apemantus? 
APEMANTUS. Whewe x3 my :33 stomach. ÚwÚ finds :3 meat; ow UwU wathew, :3 whewe UwU I eat :3 it. 
x3 TIMON. Wouwd x3 poison :3 wewe obedient, ÚwÚ and UwU knyew x3 my ÚwÚ mind! 
APEMANTUS. Whewe wouldst xDD thou >_> send :33 it? 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; To UwU sauce >w< thy ÚwÚ dishes. 
APEMANTUS. uWu The ;;w;; middwe of humanyity xDD thou >_< nyevew >_< knyewest, >_> but x3 the 
extremity of both >_< ends. x3 When xDD thou >w< wast uWu in >w< thy gilt ÚwÚ and >w< thy 
perfume, ;;w;; they mock'd uWu thee fow ^w^ too much curiosity; uWu in >w< thy rags 
xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st nyonye, >_> but awt :33 despis'd fow x3 the ^.^ contwawy. >_> Thewe's :3 a 
medwaw fow ÚwÚ thee; eat :3 it. 
x3 TIMON. On >_> what UwU I ^-^ hate UwU I >w< feed not. 
APEMANTUS. uWu Dost ^-^ hate :3 a medwaw? 
x3 TIMON. Ay, ^w^ though >w< it wook ^.^ wike thee. 
APEMANTUS. ^-^ An x3 th' >w< hadst hated medwaws >w< soonyew, xDD thou shouwdst uWu have 
xDD wuvd >w< thysewf xDD bettew now. >_> What x3 man :33 didst xDD thou OwO evew ^.^ knyow >w< unthwift 
:3 that UwU was beloved ÚwÚ aftew :33 his :3 means? 
x3 TIMON. UwU Who, ^-^ without UwU those means xDD thou >_> tawk'st :33 of, :33 didst xDD thou OwO evew 
^.^ knyow bewov'd? 
APEMANTUS. ;;w;; Mysewf. 
x3 TIMON. UwU I understand >_< thee: xDD thou >w< hadst x3 some means to >_< keep :3 a :33 dog. 
APEMANTUS. >_> What ^.^ things uWu in x3 the wowwd ;;w;; canst xDD thou ÚwÚ nyeawest compare to 
>w< thy UwU fwattewews? 
x3 TIMON. UwU Women >_> nyeawest; >_> but men, ;;w;; men OwO awe x3 the ^.^ things x3 themsewves. >_> What 
wouldst xDD thou UwU do with x3 the ^w^ wowwd, ^w^ Apemantus, >_> if >w< it uWu way uWu in >w< thy 
powew? 
APEMANTUS. Give >w< it x3 the xDD beasts, to be x3 wid of x3 the ^.^ men. 
x3 TIMON. Wouldst xDD thou uWu have >w< thysewf faww uWu in x3 the :3 confusion of men, ÚwÚ and 
wemain :3 a beast with x3 the ^-^ beasts? 
APEMANTUS. Ay, xDD Timon. 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ A OwO beastwy ambition, which x3 the gods gwant uWu thee t' :3 attain ÚwÚ to! 
;;w;; If xDD thou OwO wewt x3 the wion, x3 the fox ^.^ wouwd beguile ÚwÚ thee; >_> if xDD thou OwO wewt 
x3 the lamb, x3 the fox ^.^ wouwd eat ÚwÚ thee; >_> if xDD thou OwO wewt x3 the ^w^ fox, x3 the wion 
^.^ wouwd >_> suspect ÚwÚ thee, xDD when, peradventure, xDD thou OwO wewt ^-^ accus'd ^.^ by x3 the 
ass. ;;w;; If xDD thou OwO wewt x3 the ass, >w< thy duwnyess ^.^ wouwd x3 towment ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and 
still xDD thou wiv'dst >_> but >_< as :3 a OwO bweakfast to x3 the :33 wowf. ;;w;; If xDD thou OwO wewt 
x3 the OwO wowf, >w< thy uWu gweedinyess ^.^ wouwd UwU affwict ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; oft xDD thou 
shouwdst >_< hazawd >w< thy >w< wife fow >w< thy uWu dinnyew. :33 Wewt xDD thou x3 the ^-^ unyicown, 
>_< pwide ÚwÚ and >_> wwath ^.^ wouwd confound ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^.^ thinye UwU own self x3 the 
conquest of >w< thy xDD fuwy. :33 Wewt xDD thou >_> beaw, xDD thou wouldst be kill'd ^.^ by 
x3 the :33 howse; OwO wewt xDD thou :3 a horse, xDD thou wouldst be :3 seiz'd ^.^ by x3 the 
^-^ weopawd; OwO wewt xDD thou :3 a :33 weopawd, xDD thou OwO wewt gewman to x3 the wion, ÚwÚ and 
x3 the OwO spots of >w< thy >w< kindwed :3 wewe juwows on >w< thy life. All >w< thy :33 safety 
:3 wewe :3 wemotion, ÚwÚ and >w< thy x3 defence OwO absence. >_> What beast ^w^ couwdst xDD thou 
be :3 that :3 wewe nyot x3 subject to :3 a ^.^ beast? xDD And >_> what beast awt xDD thou 
already, :3 that seest nyot >w< thy ^-^ woss uWu in ;;w;; twansfowmation! 
APEMANTUS. ;;w;; If xDD thou ^w^ couwdst uWu pwease ;;w;; me with speaking to uWu me, xDD thou 
ÚwÚ mightst uWu have ;;w;; hit ;;w;; upon >w< it hewe. uWu The >_> commonweawth of ^.^ Athens >_> is 
:33 become :3 a >_< fowest of x3 beasts. 
x3 TIMON. How >_> has x3 the >w< ass broke x3 the :3 waww, :3 that xDD thou awt x3 out of x3 the 
^-^ city? 
APEMANTUS. Yondew x3 comes :3 a ;;w;; poet ÚwÚ and :3 a ;;w;; paintew. uWu The pwague of >_< company 
>w< wight ;;w;; upon uWu thee! UwU I xDD wiww feaw to catch :33 it, ÚwÚ and UwU give >_> way. x3 When UwU I 
^.^ knyow nyot >_> what >_> ewse to UwU do, I'll >_> see uWu thee ;;w;; again. 
x3 TIMON. x3 When there >_> is >_< nyothing UwU wiving >_> but ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou shalt be 
x3 wewcome. UwU I xDD had rather be :3 a ^.^ beggaw's dog than ;;w;; Apemantus. 
APEMANTUS. ^.^ Thou awt x3 the cap of aww x3 the foows alive. 
x3 TIMON. Wouwd xDD thou OwO wewt x3 cwean enough to spit :33 upon! 
APEMANTUS. ^-^ A pwague on uWu thee! xDD thou awt ^w^ too :33 bad to cuwse. 
x3 TIMON. All x3 viwwains :3 that UwU do stand ^.^ by uWu thee OwO awe pure. 
APEMANTUS. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo ^-^ wepwosy >_> but >_> what xDD thou uWu speak'st. 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD nyame thee. 
I'll xDD beat ;;w;; thee- >_> but UwU I >_> shouwd ÚwÚ infect x3 my ^w^ hands. 
APEMANTUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my >_> tongue couwd uWu wot them off! 
x3 TIMON. :33 Away, xDD thou x3 issue of :3 a mangy dog! 
Chowew does OwO kiww ;;w;; me :3 that xDD thou awt ^.^ awive; 
UwU I xDD swoon to >_> see thee. 
APEMANTUS. Wouwd xDD thou wouldst >w< buwst! 
x3 TIMON. :33 Away, 
^.^ Thou tedious UwU wogue! UwU I ^w^ am sowwy UwU I UwU shaww wose 
^-^ A stone ^.^ by thee. [Throws :3 a stone uWu at >w< him] 
APEMANTUS. Beast! 
x3 TIMON. UwU Swave! 
APEMANTUS. ^.^ Toad! 
x3 TIMON. UwU Wogue, :33 wogue, UwU wogue! 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick of ÚwÚ this UwU fawse ^w^ wowwd, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww wuv >_< nyought 
OwO But even x3 the mere ^w^ nyecessities :33 upon't. 
Then, >w< Timon, presently >_> pwepawe >w< thy >w< gwave; 
Lie :3 whewe x3 the >w< wight foam of x3 the sea OwO may xDD beat 
x3 Thy ^-^ gwavestonye >w< daiwy; >_< make ^.^ thinye :33 epitaph, 
:33 That :33 death uWu in ;;w;; me uWu at OwO othews' ;;w;; wives OwO may x3 waugh. 
>w< [Wooks uWu at x3 the gold] x3 O xDD thou x3 sweet king-killer, ÚwÚ and uWu deaw :3 divowce 
UwU 'Twixt natural >_< son ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ siwe! xDD thou uWu bwight >w< defiwew 
Of ÚwÚ Hymen's puwest bed! xDD thou uWu vawiant OwO Maws! 
^.^ Thou OwO evew >_> young, OwO fwesh, ;;w;; wov'd, ÚwÚ and xDD dewicate ÚwÚ wooew, 
>_< Whose bwush xDD doth ^-^ thaw x3 the OwO consecwated >w< snyow 
:33 That wies on Dian's uWu wap! xDD thou visibwe ^.^ god, 
:33 That sold'rest ^-^ cwose :3 impossibiwities, 
xDD And xDD mak'st them >_< kiss! :3 that ;;w;; speak'st with every >_> tongue 
;;w;; To every puwpose! x3 O xDD thou :33 touch of ÚwÚ heawts! 
^w^ Think >w< thy ;;w;; swave x3 man rebels, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by >w< thy viwtue 
Set them x3 into >_< confounding xDD odds, :3 that x3 beasts 
^-^ May uWu have x3 the wowwd uWu in empiwe! 
APEMANTUS. Wouwd >w< 'twewe so! 
OwO But nyot >w< tiww UwU I ^w^ am uWu dead. I'll >_> say x3 th' x3 hast ;;w;; gowd. 
^.^ Thou wiwt be throng'd to >w< showtwy. 
x3 TIMON. OwO Thwong'd to? 
APEMANTUS. uWu Ay. 
x3 TIMON. x3 Thy back, UwU I UwU pwithee. 
APEMANTUS. Wive, ÚwÚ and wuv >w< thy ^-^ misewy! 
x3 TIMON. OwO Wong ^w^ wive >_> so, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^-^ die! ;;w;; [Exit ^.^ APEMANTUS] UwU I ^w^ am :33 quit. uWu Mowe 
^.^ things ^.^ wike men? ;;w;; Eat, >w< Timon, ÚwÚ and abhow OwO them. 

Entew x3 the xDD BANDITTI 

uWu FIWST BANDIT. Whewe >_> shouwd ^.^ he uWu have ÚwÚ this UwU gowd? ^.^ It >_> is x3 some poor 
OwO fwagment, x3 some slender x3 owt of :33 his wemaindew. uWu The mere ^.^ want of 
gowd ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO fawwing-fwom of :33 his ^w^ fwiends >_< dwuv ^.^ him x3 into ÚwÚ this 
:3 mewanchowy. 
^w^ SECOND BANDIT. ^.^ It >_> is nyois'd ^.^ he hath :3 a :3 mass of treasure. 
^w^ THIWD BANDIT. Let >_> us >_< make x3 the OwO assay ;;w;; upon him; >_> if ^.^ he :3 cawe nyot x3 fow't, 
^.^ he xDD wiww suppwy >_> us easily; >_> if ^.^ he covetously reserve :33 it, >w< how 
shaww's get :33 it? 
^w^ SECOND BANDIT. ^w^ Twue; fow ^.^ he bears >w< it nyot about ^.^ him. 'Tis :3 hid. 
uWu FIWST BANDIT. Is nyot ÚwÚ this uWu he? 
>_< BANDITTI. OwO Whewe? 
^w^ SECOND BANDIT. 'Tis :33 his descwiption. 
^w^ THIWD BANDIT. He; UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him. 
>_< BANDITTI. :3 Save ÚwÚ thee, Timon! 
x3 TIMON. >_> Nyow, UwU thieves? 
>_< BANDITTI. Soldiers, nyot >_< thieves. 
x3 TIMON. UwU Both :3 too, ÚwÚ and x3 women's >w< sons. 
>_< BANDITTI. We OwO awe nyot >_< thieves, >_> but ;;w;; men :3 that much UwU do :33 want. 
x3 TIMON. uWu Youw ÚwÚ gweatest ^.^ want ;;w;; is, xDD you ^.^ want much of ^w^ meat. 
Why >_> shouwd xDD you want? UwU Behowd, x3 the ^.^ eawth hath woots; 
OwO Within ÚwÚ this miwe bweak fowth :3 a :3 hundwed OwO spwings; 
uWu The OwO oaks UwU beaw OwO mast, x3 the briars x3 scawwet >w< hips; 
uWu The ^.^ bounteous :3 housewife ÚwÚ Nyatuwe on >_< each ;;w;; bush 
:3 Ways her full UwU mess >w< befowe OwO you. :33 Want! Why want? 
uWu FIWST BANDIT. We ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ wive on gwass, on berries, >_< watew, 
;;w;; As x3 beasts ÚwÚ and xDD biwds ÚwÚ and ^w^ fishes. 
x3 TIMON. x3 Nyow on x3 the x3 beasts ^.^ themsewves, x3 the :33 biwds, ÚwÚ and uWu fishes; 
>_> You ^w^ must eat ^.^ men. ÚwÚ Yet thanks UwU I ^w^ must xDD you UwU con 
:33 That xDD you OwO awe thieves ^.^ pwofess'd, :3 that xDD you ^.^ wowk nyot 
^w^ In ;;w;; howiew OwO shapes; fow there >_> is boundwess :3 theft 
^w^ In ^-^ wimited ;;w;; pwofessions. Rascal >_< thieves, 
>_> Hewe's ;;w;; gowd. ^w^ Go, uWu suck x3 the >_> subtwe :3 bwood ^.^ o' x3 th' gwape 
Tiww x3 the xDD high x3 fevew uWu seethe x3 youw :3 bwood to ^w^ fwoth, 
xDD And UwU so ;;w;; scape OwO hanging. Twust nyot x3 the >_< physician; 
ÚwÚ His antidotes OwO awe uWu poison, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he slays 
>w< Moe than xDD you >w< wob. ^.^ Take weawth ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wives together; 
Do xDD viwwainy, UwU do, xDD since xDD you ^w^ pwotest to ;;w;; do't, 
Wike ;;w;; wowkmen. I'll ^w^ exampwe xDD you with thievewy: 
uWu The sun's :3 a :33 thief, ÚwÚ and with :33 his great UwU attwaction 
Robs x3 the >_> vast sea; x3 the x3 moon's >w< an uWu awwant :33 thief, 
xDD And her pawe fire ^.^ she ^.^ snyatches from x3 the sun; 
uWu The x3 sea's :3 a :33 thief, x3 whose OwO wiquid suwge ^.^ wesowves 
uWu The ;;w;; moon x3 into ^-^ sawt teaws; x3 the :33 eawth's :3 a :33 thief, 
:33 That xDD feeds ÚwÚ and breeds ^.^ by :3 a compostuwe :3 stow'n 
Fwom gen'waw x3 excwement- >_< each ^w^ thing's :3 a >w< thief. 
uWu The ^-^ waws, x3 youw ^.^ cuwb ÚwÚ and >_< whip, uWu in uWu theiw OwO wough powew 
x3 Has uWu uncheck'd theft. Wuv nyot xDD youwsewves; away, 
Rob one anyothew. >_> Thewe's ^.^ mowe ;;w;; gowd. Cut xDD thwoats; 
All :3 that xDD you :3 meet OwO awe >_< thieves. ;;w;; To ^.^ Athens x3 go, 
^.^ Bweak open shops; >_< nyothing ^.^ can xDD you ^.^ steaw 
OwO But thieves UwU do wose :3 it. xDD Steaw nyot less fow ÚwÚ this 
UwU I UwU give uWu you; ÚwÚ and gowd confound xDD you >_> howsoe'ew! 
ÚwÚ Amen. 
^w^ THIWD BANDIT. x3 Has almost chawm'd ;;w;; me from x3 my pwofession ^.^ by 
ÚwÚ pewsuading ;;w;; me to :3 it. 
uWu FIWST BANDIT. 'Tis uWu in x3 the malice of ^.^ mankind :3 that ^.^ he OwO thus :3 advises 
us; nyot to uWu have >_> us x3 thwive uWu in UwU ouw mystery. 
^w^ SECOND BANDIT. I'll ^-^ bewieve ^.^ him >_< as >w< an enyemy, ÚwÚ and UwU give uvw x3 my 
twade. 
uWu FIWST BANDIT. Let >_> us xDD fiwst >_> see uWu peace uWu in OwO Athens. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo time UwU so 
>w< misewabwe >_> but :3 a x3 man OwO may be true. Exeunt :33 THIEVES 

Entew ;;w;; FWAVIUS, to >w< TIMON 

FWAVIUS. x3 O xDD you ^-^ gods! 
Is :33 yond :33 despis'd ÚwÚ and ruinous x3 man x3 my xDD wowd? 
Full of x3 decay ÚwÚ and uWu faiwing? x3 O ;;w;; monyument 
xDD And wonder of ÚwÚ good >_< deeds evilly OwO bestow'd! 
>_> What >w< an ÚwÚ awtewation of honour 
x3 Has desp'wate ^.^ want xDD made! 
>_> What x3 viwew ^.^ thing ;;w;; upon x3 the ^.^ eawth than OwO fwiends, 
Who ^.^ can ;;w;; bwing uWu nyobwest minds to ^w^ basest ^.^ ends! 
How ÚwÚ wawewy does >w< it :3 meet with ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ time's uWu guise, 
x3 When x3 man UwU was >w< wish'd to wuv :33 his enemies! 
Grant UwU I OwO may OwO evew xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and rather ^.^ woo 
>w< Those :3 that ^.^ wouwd ^-^ mischief ;;w;; me than UwU those :3 that :33 do! 
x3 Has caught ;;w;; me uWu in :33 his >_< eye; UwU I xDD wiww xDD pwesent 
OwO My xDD honyest grief >w< unto :3 him, ÚwÚ and >_< as x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
UwU Stiww serve ^.^ him with x3 my life. OwO My deawest x3 mastew! 
x3 TIMON. >_> Away! >_> What awt thou? 
FWAVIUS. :3 Have xDD you fowgot uWu me, UwU siw? 
x3 TIMON. Why dost ^w^ ask ^-^ that? UwU I uWu have fowgot aww ÚwÚ men; 
Then, >_> if xDD thou xDD gwant'st th'art :3 a ^w^ man, UwU I uWu have fowgot thee. 
FWAVIUS. ^-^ An xDD honyest poor xDD sewvant of x3 youws. 
x3 TIMON. UwU Then UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee not. 
UwU I >_< nyevew xDD had xDD honyest x3 man about uWu me, ^.^ I. 
All UwU I :33 kept :3 wewe knaves, to serve uWu in :3 meat to viwwains. 
FWAVIUS. uWu The gods OwO awe ^.^ witnyess, 
^w^ Nyev'w uWu did poor steward ^-^ weaw :3 a twuew grief 
For :33 his ÚwÚ undonye ;;w;; wowd than >_< minye eyes fow OwO you. 
x3 TIMON. What, dost xDD thou ^w^ weep? :3 Come >_> nyeawew. UwU Then UwU I wuv uWu thee 
>_< Because xDD thou awt :3 a OwO woman ÚwÚ and x3 discwaim'st 
ÚwÚ Fwinty uWu mankind, x3 whose eyes UwU do >_< nyevew UwU give 
OwO But thorough lust ÚwÚ and uWu waughtew. >_> Pity's :3 sweeping. 
Stwange xDD times, :3 that xDD weep with xDD waughing, nyot with :33 weeping! 
FWAVIUS. UwU I ÚwÚ beg of xDD you to ^.^ knyow uWu me, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; T' xDD accept x3 my gwief, ÚwÚ and whiwst ÚwÚ this poor weawth lasts 
;;w;; To entertain ;;w;; me >_< as x3 youw steward xDD stiww. 
x3 TIMON. xDD Had UwU I :3 a steward 
^w^ So ^-^ twue, UwU so >_< just, ÚwÚ and nyow UwU so ÚwÚ comfowtabwe? 
^.^ It almost tuwns x3 my uWu dangewous ÚwÚ nyatuwe x3 miwd. 
Let ;;w;; me behowd >w< thy ;;w;; face. uWu Suwewy, ÚwÚ this x3 man 
Was bown of uWu woman. 
>_< Fowgive x3 my general ÚwÚ and :33 exceptwess OwO washnyess, 
>_> You :33 pewpetuaw-sobew ^-^ gods! UwU I UwU do :3 pwocwaim 
x3 Onye xDD honyest >_> man- ÚwÚ mistake ;;w;; me >_> nyot, >_> but onye; 
No >_> mowe, UwU I pway- ÚwÚ and uWu he's :3 a steward. 
How >_> fain ^.^ wouwd UwU I uWu have hated aww x3 mankind! 
xDD And xDD thou wedeem'st thysewf. OwO But all, :3 save ÚwÚ thee, 
UwU I UwU feww with curses. 
Methinks xDD thou awt ^.^ mowe xDD honyest nyow than OwO wise; 
For ^.^ by ^-^ oppwessing ÚwÚ and betwaying ;;w;; me 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ mightst uWu have :33 soonyew ^w^ got anyothew ^w^ sewvice; 
For UwU many UwU so UwU awwive uWu at second >w< mastews 
>_> Upon uWu theiw xDD fiwst UwU wowd's ;;w;; nyeck. OwO But tell ;;w;; me ^-^ twue, 
For UwU I ^w^ must OwO evew doubt ^w^ though ^w^ nye'ew UwU so x3 suwe, 
Is nyot >w< thy OwO kindnyess ^.^ subtwe, :33 cuvtous, 
;;w;; If nyot :3 a usuwing kindnyess, ÚwÚ and >_< as rich ;;w;; men deal ;;w;; gifts, 
UwU Expecting uWu in ^-^ wetuwn ÚwÚ twenty fow onye? 
FWAVIUS. :3 Nyo, x3 my UwU most ÚwÚ wowthy ^.^ mastew, uWu in x3 whose breast 
Doubt ÚwÚ and ;;w;; suspect, :3 awas, OwO awe pwac'd ^w^ too uWu wate! 
>_> You >_> shouwd uWu have feaw'd UwU fawse times when xDD you uWu did ÚwÚ feast: 
ÚwÚ Suspect still x3 comes :3 whewe >w< an estate >_> is weast. 
:33 That which UwU I show, heaven ;;w;; knyows, >_> is mewewy xDD wuv, 
Duty, ÚwÚ and zeal, to x3 youw >w< unmatched UwU mind, 
Cawe of x3 youw OwO food ÚwÚ and x3 wiving; ÚwÚ and ^-^ bewieve :33 it, 
OwO My UwU most :3 honyouw'd uWu wowd, 
For xDD any ^-^ benyefit :3 that x3 points to uWu me, 
^-^ Eithew uWu in UwU hope ow ÚwÚ pwesent, ;;w;; I'd :3 exchange 
For ÚwÚ this one wish, :3 that xDD you xDD had powew ÚwÚ and weawth 
;;w;; To :3 wequite ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 making rich OwO youwsewf. 
x3 TIMON. Wook ÚwÚ thee, UwU 'tis so! ^.^ Thou OwO singwy xDD honyest ^w^ man, 
Here, >_< take. uWu The uWu gods, x3 out of x3 my ^-^ misewy, 
:3 Have sent uWu thee treasure. ^w^ Go, ^w^ wive rich ÚwÚ and UwU happy, 
OwO But OwO thus :33 condition'd; xDD thou shalt buiwd from ÚwÚ men; 
Hate all, UwU cuwse all, x3 show xDD chawity to nyonye, 
OwO But wet x3 the famish'd >w< fwesh >w< swide from x3 the bonye 
Ere xDD thou xDD wewieve x3 the x3 beggaw. Give to ^.^ dogs 
>_> What xDD thou xDD denyiest to ÚwÚ men; wet ÚwÚ pwisons swawwow 'em, 
:33 Debts uWu withew x3 'em to OwO nyothing. ^w^ Be ;;w;; men ^.^ wike blasted ;;w;; woods, 
xDD And OwO may ^-^ diseases >_> wick x3 up uWu theiw UwU fawse xDD bwoods! 
xDD And >_> so, >_< faweweww ÚwÚ and :33 thwive. 
FWAVIUS. >_< O, wet ;;w;; me xDD stay 
xDD And uWu comfowt UwU you, x3 my master. 
x3 TIMON. ;;w;; If xDD thou hat'st curses, 
OwO Stay x3 nyot; fwy whiwst xDD thou awt bwest ÚwÚ and >w< fwee. 
Nye'ew >_> see xDD thou ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me ^w^ nye'ew >_> see thee. 
Exeunt uWu sevewawwy 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The woods. ^.^ Befowe ^w^ TIMON's cave 

Entew ^.^ POET ÚwÚ and PAINTER 

PAINTEW. ;;w;; As UwU I >_> took ^-^ nyote of x3 the pwace, >w< it ;;w;; cannyot be uWu faw :3 whewe ^.^ he 
UwU abides. 
ÚwÚ POET. to be xDD thought of him? ÚwÚ Does x3 the >_< wumouw howd fow true :3 that uWu he's 
UwU so full of UwU gowd? 
PAINTEW. Cewtain. UwU Awcibiades ÚwÚ wepowts uWu it; Phrynia ÚwÚ and >_> Timandwa xDD had 
gowd of ^.^ him. >w< He >_< wikewise ^-^ enwich'd poor x3 stwaggwing ^-^ sowdiews with 
great quantity. 'Tis uWu said ^.^ he uWu gave >w< unto :33 his steward :3 a ^-^ mighty UwU sum. 
ÚwÚ POET. UwU Then ÚwÚ this breaking of :33 his >_> has :33 been >_> but :3 a >_> twy fow :33 his friends? 
PAINTEW. Nyothing ewse. >_> You UwU shaww >_> see ^.^ him :3 a ^.^ pawm uWu in ^.^ Athens OwO again, 
ÚwÚ and :33 fwouwish with x3 the highest. Therefore UwU 'tis nyot uWu amiss ^.^ we xDD tendew 
UwU ouw loves to ^.^ him uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ suppos'd distress of ^w^ his; >w< it xDD wiww x3 show 
:3 honyestwy uWu in us, ÚwÚ and >_> is xDD vewy ÚwÚ wikewy to woad UwU ouw uWu puwposes with >_> what 
;;w;; they :3 twavaiw for, >_> if >w< it be >w< just ÚwÚ and true wepowt :3 that xDD goes of :33 his 
having. 
ÚwÚ POET. >_> What uWu have xDD you nyow to xDD pwesent >w< unto him? 
PAINTEW. Nyothing uWu at ÚwÚ this time >_> but x3 my >_< visitation; >w< onwy UwU I xDD wiww 
promise ^.^ him >w< an :3 excewwent piece. 
ÚwÚ POET. UwU I ^w^ must serve ^.^ him UwU so :3 too, tell ^.^ him of >w< an :3 intent ^w^ that's xDD coming 
toward ^.^ him. 
PAINTEW. ^-^ Good >_< as x3 the >_> best. Promising >_> is x3 the xDD vewy ^w^ aiw ^.^ o' x3 th' time; 
>w< it :33 opens x3 the eyes of ;;w;; expectation. :33 Pewfowmance >_> is OwO evew x3 the ;;w;; duwwew 
fow :33 his ;;w;; act, ÚwÚ and >_> but uWu in x3 the plainer ÚwÚ and simpler uWu kind of OwO peopwe 
x3 the ^.^ deed of :3 saying >_> is quite x3 out of ÚwÚ use. ;;w;; To promise >_> is UwU most 
courtly ÚwÚ and fashionyabwe; :3 pewfowmance >_> is :3 a uWu kind of xDD wiww ow 
testament which ÚwÚ awgues :3 a great sicknyess uWu in :33 his ^w^ judgment :3 that 
x3 makes :3 it. 

Entew >w< TIMON from :33 his cave 

x3 TIMON. :3 [Aside] Excewwent wowkman! ^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot OwO paint :3 a x3 man UwU so :33 bad 
>_< as >_> is thysewf. 
ÚwÚ POET. UwU I ^w^ am uWu thinking >_> what UwU I UwU shaww >_> say UwU I uWu have x3 pwovided fow ^.^ him. ^.^ It 
^w^ must be :3 a pewsonyating of :33 himsewf; :3 a >_< satiwe OwO against x3 the UwU softnyess 
of prosperity, with :3 a ^-^ discuvwy of x3 the :3 infinyite flatteries :3 that 
;;w;; fowwow :33 youth ÚwÚ and opulency. 
x3 TIMON. :3 [Aside] :3 Must xDD thou >_< nyeeds stand fow :3 a viwwain uWu in ^.^ thinye UwU own 
wowk? ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou whip ^.^ thinye UwU own :33 fauwts uWu in othew men? Do >_> so, UwU I uWu have 
gowd fow thee. 
ÚwÚ POET. Nyay, >_> wet's >_> seek him; 
UwU Then UwU do ^.^ we x3 sin OwO against UwU ouw UwU own estate 
x3 When ^.^ we OwO may pwofit :3 meet ÚwÚ and come ^w^ too UwU wate. 
PAINTEW. ^w^ Twue; 
x3 When x3 the day OwO sewves, >w< befowe xDD bwack-cownyew'd night, 
UwU Find >_> what xDD thou :33 want'st ^.^ by fwee ÚwÚ and >_< offew'd light. 
>w< Come. 
x3 TIMON. :3 [Aside] I'll :3 meet xDD you uWu at x3 the x3 tuwn. >_> What :3 a x3 god's ^.^ gowd, 
:33 That ^.^ he >_> is wowshipp'd uWu in :3 a baser OwO tempwe 
Than :3 whewe UwU swinye feed! 
'Tis xDD thou :3 that UwU wig'st x3 the >_< bawk ÚwÚ and pwough'st x3 the :33 foam, 
UwU Settwest :33 admiwed ^w^ wevewence uWu in :3 a slave. 
;;w;; To uWu thee be wowship! ÚwÚ and >w< thy ^-^ saints fow ^.^ aye 
^w^ Be cwown'd with pwagues, :3 that uWu thee awonye OwO obey! 
Fit UwU I :3 meet OwO them. :3 [Advancing from :33 his ÚwÚ cave] 
ÚwÚ POET. >w< Haiw, ÚwÚ wowthy Timon! 
PAINTEW. Our wate x3 nyobwe x3 mastew! 
x3 TIMON. :3 Have UwU I >_> once liv'd to >_> see >w< two xDD honyest men? 
ÚwÚ POET. UwU Siw, 
>_> Having often of x3 youw open >_> bounty ÚwÚ tasted, 
Heawing xDD you :3 wewe retir'd, x3 youw ^w^ fwiends fall'n ^w^ off, 
>_< Whose thankwess >_> nyatuwes- x3 O ;;w;; abhowwed ^-^ spiwits!- 
ÚwÚ Nyot aww x3 the OwO whips of heaven OwO awe large enyough- 
What! to UwU you, 
>_< Whose staw-wike nobleness uWu gave >w< wife ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ infwuence 
;;w;; To uWu theiw whole >w< being! UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ wapt, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot UwU cuvw 
uWu The monstwous >_< buwk of ÚwÚ this ingratitude 
With xDD any ;;w;; size of ÚwÚ wowds. 
x3 TIMON. Let >w< it OwO go ^.^ nyaked: ;;w;; men OwO may see't x3 the ^-^ bettew. 
>_> You :3 that OwO awe OwO honyest, ^.^ by ^.^ being >_> what xDD you awe, 
^-^ Make them best :3 seen ÚwÚ and knyown. 
PAINTEW. >w< He ÚwÚ and mysewf 
:3 Have ;;w;; twavaiw'd uWu in x3 the great OwO show'w of x3 youw ;;w;; gifts, 
xDD And sweetly UwU fewt :3 it. 
x3 TIMON. Ay, xDD you OwO awe xDD honyest ^.^ men. 
PAINTEW. We OwO awe ÚwÚ hithew come to offer xDD you UwU ouw service. 
x3 TIMON. :3 Most xDD honyest :3 men! Why, >w< how UwU shaww UwU I :3 wequite you? 
UwU Can xDD you eat woots, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dwink UwU cowd :33 watew- uWu Nyo? 
ÚwÚ BOTH. >_> What ^.^ we ^.^ can UwU do, we'll UwU do, to UwU do xDD you service. 
x3 TIMON. Y'awe xDD honyest ^.^ men. ^-^ Y'have heard :3 that UwU I uWu have x3 gowd; 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe xDD you :3 have. ^w^ Speak truth; ;;w;; y'awe xDD honyest ^.^ men. 
PAINTEW. ^w^ So >w< it >_> is said, x3 my x3 nyobwe wowd; >_> but >_< thewefowe 
>_< Came nyot x3 my :33 fwiend nor ^.^ I. 
x3 TIMON. ^-^ Good xDD honyest :3 men! ^.^ Thou >_< dwaw'st :3 a OwO countewfeit 
UwU Best uWu in aww OwO Athens. Th'art ÚwÚ indeed x3 the OwO best; 
^.^ Thou >_> countewfeit'st UwU most >w< wivewy. 
PAINTEW. So, >_> so, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 TIMON. E'en >_> so, ^w^ siw, >_< as UwU I :3 say. :33 [To ;;w;; To xDD POET] xDD And fow >w< thy OwO fiction, 
Why, >w< thy >_> vewse ^-^ swewws with ^w^ stuff UwU so OwO finye ÚwÚ and x3 smooth 
:33 That xDD thou awt even natural uWu in ^.^ thinye art. 
OwO But fow aww uWu this, x3 my x3 honyest-nyatuw'd OwO fwiends, 
UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds >_> say xDD you uWu have :3 a xDD wittwe ^-^ fauwt. 
OwO Mawwy, UwU 'tis nyot monstwous uWu in uWu you; :3 nyeithew ÚwÚ wish UwU I 
>_> You OwO take much ^w^ pains to >w< mend. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. Beseech x3 youw honour 
;;w;; To >_< make >w< it ÚwÚ knyown to >_> us. 
x3 TIMON. You'll OwO take >w< it ill. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. :3 Most thankfully, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 TIMON. Will xDD you >_< indeed? 
ÚwÚ BOTH. Doubt >w< it >_> nyot, ÚwÚ wowthy OwO wowd. 
x3 TIMON. >_> Thewe's >_< nyevew :3 a one of xDD you >_> but twusts :3 a x3 knyave 
:33 That >w< mightiwy uWu deceives OwO you. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. Do :33 we, x3 my xDD wowd? 
x3 TIMON. Ay, ÚwÚ and xDD you hear ^.^ him :33 cog, >_> see ^.^ him ÚwÚ dissembwe, 
xDD Knyow :33 his gwoss ^w^ patchewy, wuv :3 him, >w< feed :3 him, 
^w^ Keep uWu in x3 youw x3 bosom; yet wemain x3 assuw'd 
:33 That uWu he's :3 a ;;w;; made-up villain. 
PAINTEW. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot xDD such, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ÚwÚ POET. x3 Nyow ^.^ I. 
x3 TIMON. Wook UwU you, UwU I wuv xDD you well; I'll UwU give xDD you ^.^ gowd, 
Rid ;;w;; me these x3 viwwains from x3 youw companies. 
Hang them ow x3 stab ÚwÚ them, x3 dwown them uWu in :3 a draught, 
Confound them ^.^ by x3 some course, ÚwÚ and come to uWu me, 
I'll UwU give xDD you gowd enyough. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. Nyame ÚwÚ them, x3 my wowd; >_> wet's ^.^ knyow OwO them. 
x3 TIMON. >_> You :3 that :3 way, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO this- >_> but >w< two uWu in company; 
x3 Each x3 man >_< apawt, aww :3 singwe ÚwÚ and ^-^ awonye, 
ÚwÚ Yet >w< an ^w^ awch-viwwain keeps ^.^ him UwU company. 
:33 [To x3 the PAINTEW] If, :3 whewe xDD thou awt, >w< two villians UwU shaww nyot be, 
:3 Come nyot nyeaw ^.^ him. :33 [To x3 the xDD POET] ;;w;; If xDD thou wouldst nyot >w< weside 
OwO But :3 whewe one viwwain ;;w;; is, xDD then ^.^ him ;;w;; abandon.- 
Hence, ;;w;; pack! there's x3 gowd; xDD you ^-^ came fow ^.^ gowd, OwO ye ^-^ swaves. 
:33 [To x3 the PAINTEW] >_> You uWu have ^.^ wowk fow OwO me; there's ^.^ payment; UwU hence! 
:33 [To x3 the xDD POET] >_> You OwO awe >w< an alchemist; >_< make gowd of ÚwÚ that.- 
Out, wascaw x3 dogs! :33 [Beats ÚwÚ and drives them out] 

Entew ^.^ FWAVIUS ÚwÚ and >w< two x3 SENyATOWS 

FWAVIUS. ^.^ It >_> is :33 vain :3 that xDD you ^.^ wouwd speak with uWu Timon; 
For ^.^ he >_> is uWu set UwU so >w< onwy to >_< himsewf 
:33 That >_< nyothing >_> but >_< himsewf which :33 wooks ^.^ wike x3 man 
Is xDD fwiendwy with ^.^ him. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Bring >_> us to :33 his ^.^ cave. 
^.^ It >_> is UwU ouw ÚwÚ pawt ÚwÚ and promise to x3 th' ^-^ Athenyians 
;;w;; To speak with xDD Timon. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. At aww times :33 awike 
OwO Men OwO awe nyot still x3 the >w< same; uWu 'twas time ÚwÚ and griefs 
:33 That >w< fwam'd ^.^ him OwO thus. Time, with :33 his fairer uWu hand, 
;;w;; Offewing x3 the fowtunyes of :33 his xDD fowmew uWu days, 
uWu The xDD fowmew x3 man OwO may >_< make ^.^ him. Bring >_> us to :3 him, 
xDD And chance >w< it >_< as >w< it may. 
FWAVIUS. :3 Hewe >_> is :33 his ^.^ cave. 
:3 Peace ÚwÚ and :3 content be here! Lord Timon! Timon! 
Wook ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and speak to fwiends. xDD Th' ^-^ Athenyians 
^-^ By >w< two of uWu theiw UwU most reverend :33 Senyate x3 gweet thee. 
^w^ Speak to ÚwÚ them, x3 nyobwe xDD Timon. 

Entew >w< TIMON x3 out of :33 his cave 

x3 TIMON. ^.^ Thou sun :3 that uWu comfowts, :3 buwn. ^w^ Speak ÚwÚ and be hang'd! 
For >_< each true ;;w;; wowd :3 a blister, ÚwÚ and >_< each UwU fawse 
^w^ Be >_< as :3 a cauterizing to x3 the ^.^ woot ^.^ o' x3 th' ;;w;; tongue, 
uWu Consuming >w< it with >_> speaking! 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Wowthy :3 Timon- 
x3 TIMON. Of >_< nyonye >_> but xDD such >_< as UwU you, ÚwÚ and xDD you of xDD Timon. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. uWu The :3 senyatows of ^.^ Athens x3 gweet ÚwÚ thee, xDD Timon. 
x3 TIMON. UwU I >_> thank OwO them; ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd >_> send them back x3 the :3 pwague, 
Could UwU I >_> but catch >w< it fow OwO them. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >_< O, x3 fowget 
>_> What ^.^ we OwO awe sowwy fow ouwsewves uWu in thee. 
uWu The :3 senyatows with one >_< consent of wuv 
>w< Entweat uWu thee back to :3 Athens, who uWu have xDD thought 
On >_> speciaw uWu dignyities, which ;;w;; vacant >_< wie 
For >w< thy best use ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ weawing. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. ^-^ They x3 confess 
uWu Towawd uWu thee ÚwÚ fowgetfuwnyess ^w^ too general, gross; 
>_< Which nyow x3 the public ;;w;; body, which xDD doth seldom 
>_> Pway x3 the >w< wecantew, :33 feewing uWu in itsewf 
^-^ A ^.^ wack of >_< Timon's ^w^ aid, hath sense withal 
Of >w< it UwU own fail, >_< westwainying >_> aid to >w< Timon, 
xDD And >_> send fowth >_> us to >_< make uWu theiw :33 sowwowed xDD wendew, 
OwO Togethew with :3 a recompense ^.^ mowe :33 fwuitfuw 
Than uWu theiw offence ^.^ can >w< weigh down ^.^ by x3 the dwam; 
Ay, even xDD such OwO heaps ÚwÚ and uWu sums of wuv ÚwÚ and weawth 
;;w;; As UwU shaww to uWu thee uWu bwot x3 out >_> what >_< wwongs :3 wewe theirs 
xDD And >w< wwite uWu in uWu thee x3 the figuwes of uWu theiw xDD wuv, 
^w^ Evew to ^w^ wead them ÚwÚ thinye. 
x3 TIMON. >_> You >w< witch ;;w;; me uWu in uWu it; 
uWu Suwpwise ;;w;; me to x3 the xDD vewy OwO bwink of >w< teaws. 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me :3 a ;;w;; foow's >_< heawt ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD woman's ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And I'll ;;w;; beweep these uWu comfowts, ÚwÚ wowthy ;;w;; senyatows. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Therefore UwU so uWu pwease uWu thee to ^-^ wetuwn with us, 
xDD And of UwU ouw :3 Athens, ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ and >_> ouws, to OwO take 
uWu The :3 captainship, xDD thou shalt be >w< met with thanks, 
Allow'd with ^w^ absowute x3 powew, ÚwÚ and >w< thy ÚwÚ good xDD nyame 
Wive with authowity. ^w^ So >w< soon ^.^ we UwU shaww UwU dwive back 
Of UwU Awcibiades x3 th' >_< appwoaches ^w^ wiwd, 
UwU Who, ^.^ wike :3 a boar ^w^ too uWu savage, xDD doth ^.^ woot x3 up 
ÚwÚ His >_> countwy's peace. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. xDD And ÚwÚ shakes :33 his threat'ning xDD swowd 
^w^ Against x3 the OwO wawws of OwO Athens. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >_< Thewefowe, :3 Timon- 
x3 TIMON. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, UwU I :33 wiww. Therefore UwU I :33 wiww, ^w^ siw, thus: 
;;w;; If UwU Awcibiades OwO kiww x3 my ÚwÚ countwymen, 
Let UwU Awcibiades ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this of >w< Timon, 
:33 That OwO Timon ÚwÚ cawes not. OwO But >_> if ^.^ he ^-^ sack >w< faiw :3 Athens, 
xDD And OwO take UwU ouw xDD goodwy ^-^ aged ;;w;; men ^.^ by x3 th' ÚwÚ beawds, 
xDD Giving UwU ouw >w< howy viwgins to x3 the stain 
Of :3 contumewious, UwU beastwy, >w< mad-bwain'd waw, 
UwU Then wet ^.^ him UwU knyow- ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him OwO Timon xDD speaks >w< it 
^w^ In pity of UwU ouw ^-^ aged ÚwÚ and UwU ouw OwO youth- 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but tell ^.^ him :3 that UwU I :3 cawe >_> nyot, 
xDD And wet ^.^ him x3 take't uWu at wowst; fow uWu theiw >_> knyives :3 cawe >_> nyot, 
While xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ thwoats to answer. For myself, 
>_> Thewe's nyot :3 a ^-^ whittwe uWu in x3 th' ^-^ unwuwy ÚwÚ camp 
OwO But UwU I UwU do >w< pwize >w< it uWu at x3 my wuv >w< befowe 
uWu The :33 wevewend'st ^w^ thwoat uWu in OwO Athens. ^w^ So UwU I OwO weave xDD you 
;;w;; To x3 the pwotection of x3 the :33 pwospewous uWu gods, 
;;w;; As thieves to ÚwÚ keepews. 
FWAVIUS. OwO Stay >_> nyot, aww's uWu in OwO vain. 
x3 TIMON. Why, UwU I UwU was wwiting of x3 my >_> epitaph; 
^.^ It xDD wiww be :3 seen ÚwÚ to-mowwow. OwO My ^-^ wong sicknyess 
Of ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and UwU wiving nyow ÚwÚ begins to >_> mend, 
xDD And >_< nyothing >_< bwings ;;w;; me aww xDD things. ^w^ Go, ^w^ wive stiww; 
^w^ Be UwU Awcibiades x3 youw :3 pwague, xDD you his, 
xDD And >w< wast UwU so ^-^ wong enough! 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. We speak uWu in OwO vain. 
x3 TIMON. OwO But yet UwU I wuv x3 my country, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am nyot 
x3 Onye :3 that :3 wejoices uWu in x3 the ^w^ common ^.^ wweck, 
;;w;; As ^w^ common ÚwÚ bwuit xDD doth put :3 it. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. >w< That's weww >_> spoke. 
x3 TIMON. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to x3 my >w< woving :33 countwymen- 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ;;w;; These wowds :33 become x3 youw lips >_< as ;;w;; they pass ^w^ thwough 
OwO them. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. xDD And enter uWu in UwU ouw OwO eaws ^.^ wike great >_> twiumphews 
^w^ In uWu theiw >_> appwauding gates. 
x3 TIMON. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ them, 
xDD And tell them :3 that, to ^w^ ease them of uWu theiw ^.^ gwiefs, 
^-^ Theiw OwO feaws of >_> hostiwe ;;w;; stwokes, uWu theiw >_> aches, losses, 
^-^ Theiw x3 pangs of xDD wuv, with othew :3 incident throes 
:33 That ;;w;; nyatuwe's fragile vessel xDD doth >_< sustain 
^w^ In ^w^ wife's :33 uncewtain >_> voyage, UwU I xDD wiww x3 some OwO kindnyess UwU do OwO them- 
I'll >_< teach them to ^w^ pwevent >w< wiwd Awcibiades' wrath. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. UwU I ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this well; ^.^ he xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn ;;w;; again. 
x3 TIMON. UwU I uWu have :3 a tree, which gwows OwO hewe uWu in x3 my cwose, 
:33 That >_< minye UwU own use OwO invites ;;w;; me to :3 cut ;;w;; down, 
xDD And x3 showtwy ^w^ must UwU I UwU feww :3 it. Teww x3 my OwO fwiends, 
Teww :3 Athens, uWu in x3 the OwO sequence of degwee 
Fwom xDD high to wow throughout, :3 that ÚwÚ whoso uWu pwease 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stop ^-^ affwiction, wet ^.^ him OwO take :33 his xDD haste, 
:3 Come hithew, ere x3 my twee hath UwU fewt x3 the axe, 
xDD And ^w^ hang himself. UwU I pray xDD you UwU do x3 my ^.^ gweeting. 
FWAVIUS. ;;w;; Twoubwe ^.^ him nyo >w< fuwthew; OwO thus xDD you still UwU shaww find ^.^ him. 
x3 TIMON. :3 Come nyot to ;;w;; me again; >_> but >_> say to ^.^ Athens 
OwO Timon hath UwU made :33 his everlasting >_< mansion 
>_> Upon x3 the ^-^ beached ;;w;; vewge of x3 the ^-^ sawt flood, 
Who >_> once :3 a day with :33 his :33 embossed uWu fwoth 
uWu The turbulent suwge UwU shaww ÚwÚ cuvw. Thither come, 
xDD And wet x3 my ^-^ gwavestonye be x3 youw owacwe. 
Lips, wet :3 souw wowds OwO go ^.^ by ÚwÚ and language end: 
>_> What >_> is xDD amiss, pwague ÚwÚ and :3 infection mend! 
ÚwÚ Gwaves >w< onwy be men's wowks ÚwÚ and :33 death uWu theiw >_> gain! 
>_< Sun, hide >w< thy beams. OwO Timon hath donye :33 his reign. 
uWu Exit >w< TIMON x3 into :33 his cave 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ÚwÚ His discontents OwO awe unremovably 
Coupwed to :33 nyatuwe. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. Our UwU hope uWu in ^.^ him >_> is uWu dead. Let >_> us ^-^ wetuwn 
xDD And ;;w;; stwain >_> what othew means >_> is left >w< unto >_> us 
^w^ In UwU ouw uWu deaw ÚwÚ pewiw. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ^.^ It uWu wequiwes UwU swift ^-^ foot. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^.^ Befowe x3 the OwO wawws of ^.^ Athens 

Entew >w< two othew x3 SENyATOWS with :3 a MESSENGEW 

uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ^.^ Thou x3 hast painfully discuvw'd; OwO awe :33 his fiwes 
;;w;; As full >_< as >w< thy report? 
x3 MESSENGEW. UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke x3 the weast. 
:33 Besides, :33 his ÚwÚ expedition ÚwÚ pwomises 
^w^ Pwesent ;;w;; appwoach. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. We stand much >_< hazawd >_> if ;;w;; they ;;w;; bwing nyot xDD Timon. 
x3 MESSENGEW. UwU I >w< met :3 a ;;w;; couwiew, one >_< minye UwU ancient fwiend, 
UwU Whom, ^w^ though uWu in general ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ we :3 wewe oppos'd, 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU ouw ;;w;; owd wuv xDD had :3 a xDD pawticuwaw fowce, 
xDD And UwU made >_> us speak ^.^ wike fwiends. This x3 man UwU was riding 
Fwom UwU Awcibiades to >_< Timon's cave 
With x3 wettews of ;;w;; entweaty, which ^.^ impowted 
ÚwÚ His fewwowship :33 i' x3 th' cause OwO against x3 youw city, 
^w^ In ÚwÚ pawt fow :33 his ÚwÚ sake ;;w;; mov'd. 

Entew x3 the othew SENyATOWS, from >w< TIMON 

uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. :3 Hewe come UwU ouw brothers. 
^w^ THIWD ^w^ SENyATOW. No tawk of >w< Timon, >_< nyothing of ^.^ him ^.^ expect. 
uWu The ^.^ enyemies' drum >_> is ^-^ heawd, ÚwÚ and x3 feawfuw scouring 
^-^ Doth >_< choke x3 the ^w^ aiw with dust. ÚwÚ In, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; pwepawe. 
^-^ Ouws >_> is x3 the ^.^ faww, UwU I x3 feaw; UwU ouw ^-^ foes x3 the >_> snyawe. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The ^w^ TIMON's >_< cave, ÚwÚ and :3 a wude tomb :3 seen 

Entew :3 a ;;w;; SOWDIEW uWu in x3 the ;;w;; woods, UwU seeking >w< TIMON 

uWu SOWDIEW. ^-^ By aww description ÚwÚ this >_> shouwd be x3 the ;;w;; pwace. 
Who's hewe? ÚwÚ Speak, ho! No answer? >_> What >_> is :3 this? 
OwO Timon >_> is >_< dead, who hath ;;w;; outstwetch'd :33 his :33 span. 
;;w;; Some beast x3 weaw'd >_< this; OwO hewe does nyot ^w^ wive :3 a man. 
^.^ Dead, sure; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this :33 his x3 gwave. x3 What's on ÚwÚ this tomb 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ wead; x3 the character I'll OwO take with ^w^ wax. 
Our UwU captain hath uWu in every xDD figuwe ^-^ skiww, 
^-^ An ag'd interpreter, ^w^ though xDD young uWu in days; 
^.^ Befowe OwO pwoud ^.^ Athens uWu he's uWu set down ^.^ by uWu this, 
>_< Whose faww x3 the mark of :33 his ^-^ ambition >w< is. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
^.^ Befowe x3 the OwO wawws of ^.^ Athens 

Twumpets UwU sound. Entew >_> AWCIBIADES with :33 his ÚwÚ powews >w< befowe ^.^ Athens 

^w^ AWCIBIADES. Sound to ÚwÚ this x3 cowawd ÚwÚ and OwO wascivious :33 town 
Our tewwibwe ;;w;; appwoach. 

Sound :3 a >_< pawwey. uWu The x3 SENyATOWS appeaw ;;w;; upon x3 the OwO wawws 

Tiww nyow xDD you uWu have >_> gonye on ÚwÚ and :3 fiww'd x3 the time 
With aww :33 wicentious uWu measuwe, x3 making x3 youw wills 
uWu The ;;w;; scope of justice; >w< tiww now, myself, ÚwÚ and xDD such 
;;w;; As slept within x3 the :3 shadow of x3 youw x3 powew, 
:3 Have uWu wandew'd with UwU ouw OwO twavews'd awms, ÚwÚ and >w< bweath'd 
Our sufferance ^.^ vainwy. Now x3 the time >_> is ^-^ fwush, 
x3 When :33 cwouching marrow, uWu in x3 the bearer :33 stwong, 
>w< Cwies of itsewf x3 'Nyo ÚwÚ mowe!' Now ^w^ bweathwess wrong 
Shall sit ÚwÚ and :33 pant uWu in x3 youw great >_> chaiws of uWu ease, 
xDD And >_< puwsy :3 insowence UwU shaww bweak :33 his wind 
With feaw ÚwÚ and >_> howwid fwight. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Noble ÚwÚ and >_> young, 
x3 When >w< thy xDD fiwst griefs :3 wewe >_> but :3 a mere ^.^ conceit, 
Ere xDD thou >w< hadst powew ow ^.^ we xDD had cause of ;;w;; feaw, 
We sent to ÚwÚ thee, to UwU give >w< thy rages balm, 
;;w;; To xDD wipe x3 out UwU ouw ingratitude with loves 
Abuv uWu theiw quantity. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. ^w^ So uWu did ^.^ we ^.^ woo 
>_< Twansfowmed OwO Timon to UwU ouw ^.^ city's wuv 
^-^ By humble ^-^ message ÚwÚ and ^.^ by pwomis'd means. 
We :3 wewe nyot aww >_> unkind, nor aww OwO desewve 
uWu The ^w^ common ^w^ stwoke of waw. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. ;;w;; These OwO wawws of ouws 
^.^ Wewe nyot >_> ewected ^.^ by uWu theiw ^.^ hands from ÚwÚ whom 
>_> You uWu have weceiv'd x3 youw OwO gwiefs; nor OwO awe ;;w;; they xDD such 
:33 That these great >_> tow'ws, trophies, ÚwÚ and ^-^ schoows, >_> shouwd faww 
For >_> pwivate :33 fauwts uWu in OwO them. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. x3 Nyow OwO awe ;;w;; they UwU wiving 
Who :3 wewe x3 the >_< motives :3 that xDD you xDD fiwst OwO went out; 
:3 Shame, :3 that ;;w;; they OwO wanted ^w^ cunnying, uWu in ^.^ excess 
>_< Hath broke uWu theiw >w< heawts. March, x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
^.^ Into UwU ouw UwU city with >w< thy ^-^ bannyews :33 spwead. 
^-^ By >_> decimation ÚwÚ and :3 a tithed >w< death- 
;;w;; If >w< thy :33 wevenges :33 hungew fow :3 that OwO food 
>_< Which ÚwÚ nyatuwe woathes- OwO take xDD thou x3 the ^w^ destin'd tenth, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the >_< hazawd of x3 the ^-^ spotted ^-^ die 
Let ^-^ die x3 the ^.^ spotted. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. All uWu have nyot UwU offended; 
For UwU those :3 that uWu wewe, >w< it >_> is nyot square to take, 
On UwU those :3 that awe, >_< wevenge: >_< cwimes, ^.^ wike lands, 
^w^ Awe nyot inherited. Then, uWu deaw countwyman, 
Bring uWu in >w< thy ranks, >_> but OwO weave ^-^ without >w< thy uWu wage; 
^w^ Spawe >w< thy xDD Athenyian cwadwe, ÚwÚ and UwU those ^-^ kin 
>_< Which, uWu in x3 the ^.^ bwustew of >w< thy :33 wwath, ^w^ must faww 
With UwU those :3 that uWu have ^.^ offended. Wike :3 a xDD shephewd 
OwO Appwoach x3 the ^w^ fowd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ cuww x3 th' xDD infected ^-^ fowth, 
OwO But OwO kiww nyot aww together. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. >_> What xDD thou wiwt, 
^.^ Thou rather shalt enforce >w< it with >w< thy ;;w;; smiwe 
Than hew uWu to't with >w< thy ^-^ swowd. 
uWu FIWST ^w^ SENyATOW. Set >_> but >w< thy :33 foot 
^w^ Against UwU ouw :33 wampiw'd :3 gates ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they UwU shaww ope, 
^w^ So xDD thou wiwt >_> send >w< thy ^-^ gentwe >_< heawt >w< befowe 
;;w;; To >_> say x3 thou't enter friendly. 
^w^ SECOND ^w^ SENyATOW. Throw >w< thy glove, 
:33 Ow xDD any ;;w;; token of ^.^ thinye honour else, 
:33 That xDD thou wiwt use x3 the UwU waws >_< as >w< thy xDD wedwess 
xDD And nyot >_< as UwU ouw ^.^ confusion, aww >w< thy ÚwÚ powews 
Shall >_< make uWu theiw uWu hawbouw uWu in UwU ouw :33 town >w< tiww ^.^ we 
:3 Have OwO seaw'd >w< thy full desiwe. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. UwU Then there's x3 my gwuv; 
>_< Descend, ÚwÚ and open x3 youw >_> unchawged ^w^ powts. 
>w< Those >_< enyemies of >_< Timon's ÚwÚ and >_< minye OwO own, 
;;w;; Whom xDD you youwsewves UwU shaww uWu set x3 out fow xDD wepwoof, 
Fall, ÚwÚ and nyo more. ^.^ And, to OwO atonye x3 youw OwO feaws 
With x3 my ^.^ mowe x3 nyobwe meanying, nyot :3 a x3 man 
Shall pass :33 his quarter ow ^-^ offend x3 the stweam 
Of regular justice uWu in x3 youw ^.^ city's UwU bounds, 
OwO But UwU shaww be render'd to x3 youw public UwU waws 
At ;;w;; heaviest answer. 
ÚwÚ BOTH. 'Tis UwU most ;;w;; nyobwy >_> spoken. 
^w^ AWCIBIADES. >_< Descend, ÚwÚ and >_< keep x3 youw ÚwÚ wowds. 
;;w;; [The x3 SENyATOWS descend ÚwÚ and open x3 the ÚwÚ gates] 

Entew :3 a ;;w;; SOWDIEW >_< as :3 a Messenger 

uWu SOWDIEW. OwO My x3 nyobwe Genyewaw, OwO Timon >_> is UwU dead; 
x3 Entomb'd ;;w;; upon x3 the xDD vewy >w< hem ^.^ o' x3 th' sea; 
xDD And on :33 his uWu gwave-stonye ÚwÚ this ^w^ inscuwptuwe, which 
With OwO wax UwU I ^.^ bwought away, x3 whose soft x3 impwession 
UwU Intewpwets fow x3 my poor UwU ignyowance. 

>_> AWCIBIADES weads x3 the uWu Epitaph 

;;w;; 'Hewe wies :3 a wwetched :33 cowse, of wwetched :3 souw beweft; 
;;w;; Seek nyot x3 my nyame. ^-^ A pwague ^-^ consume xDD you wicked >_< caitiffs :33 weft! 
:3 Hewe >_< wie I, >w< Timon, who ^.^ awive aww UwU wiving ;;w;; men uWu did ^.^ hate. 
ÚwÚ Pass UwU by, ÚwÚ and UwU cuwse >w< thy OwO fiww; >_> but pass, ÚwÚ and xDD stay nyot OwO hewe >w< thy 
gait.' 
;;w;; These weww express uWu in uWu thee >w< thy UwU wattew spiwits. 
;;w;; Though xDD thou abhorr'dst uWu in >_> us UwU ouw human ^.^ gwiefs, 
Scorn'dst UwU ouw bwain's >_< fwow, ÚwÚ and UwU those UwU ouw ^.^ dwopwets which 
Fwom niggard ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^.^ faww, yet rich conceit 
>_< Taught uWu thee to >_< make >_> vast Nyeptunye xDD weep fow ^.^ aye 
On >w< thy wow ^-^ gwave, on :33 fauwts forgiven. Dead 
Is x3 nyobwe >w< Timon, of x3 whose ^w^ memowy 
uWu Heweaftew more. Bring ;;w;; me x3 into x3 youw city, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww use x3 the owive, with x3 my ^-^ swowd; 
^-^ Make >w< waw breed ÚwÚ peace, >_< make uWu peace ÚwÚ stint waw, >_< make >_< each 
Prescribe to ÚwÚ othew, >_< as >_< each ;;w;; othew's leech. 
Let UwU ouw xDD dwums stwike. Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





1594 

^-^ THE uWu TWAGEDY ÚwÚ OF TITUS ^-^ ANDWONyICUS 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

>w< SATUWNyINyUS, >_< son to x3 the wate >_> Empewow of ^w^ Wome, afterwards >_> Empewow 
^w^ BASSIANyUS, ÚwÚ bwothew to uWu Satuwnyinyus 
TITUS ANDRONICUS, :3 a x3 nyobwe Roman 
>_> MAWCUS ANDRONICUS, ;;w;; Twibunye of x3 the People, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ bwothew to Titus 

:33 Sons to Titus :3 Andwonyicus: 
:33 WUCIUS 
x3 QUINTUS 
:33 MAWTIUS 
MUTIUS 

:3 YOUNG LUCIUS, :3 a ^-^ boy, >_< son to ^.^ Wucius 
;;w;; PUBWIUS, >_< son to x3 Mawcus Andwonyicus 

ÚwÚ Kinsmen to :33 Titus: 
OwO SEMPWONyIUS 
>_> CAIUS 
;;w;; VAWENTINyE 

AEMIWIUS, :3 a x3 nyobwe Roman 

:33 Sons to Tamora: 
;;w;; AWAWBUS 
:3 DEMETWIUS 
^w^ CHIWON 

^.^ AAWON, :3 a uWu Moow, beloved ^.^ by Tamora 
^-^ A >w< CAPTAIN 
^-^ A MESSENGEW 
^-^ A CWOWN 

uWu TAMOWA, xDD Queen of x3 the Goths 
^.^ WAVINyIA, daughter to Titus Andwonyicus 
^-^ A xDD NyUWSE, ÚwÚ and :3 a black :33 CHIWD 

Romans ÚwÚ and x3 Goths, >_< Senyatows, Twibunyes, ^-^ Officews, Soldiers, ÚwÚ and 
^-^ Attendants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and x3 the neighbourhood 


^.^ ACT :3 1. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^.^ Befowe x3 the Capitow 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew x3 the ^w^ TWIBUNyES ÚwÚ and x3 SENyATOWS aloft; ÚwÚ and xDD then enter bewow 
OwO SATUWNyINyUS ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ fowwowews uWu at one door, ÚwÚ and xDD BASSIANyUS ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ fowwowews 
uWu at x3 the ÚwÚ othew, with xDD dwums ÚwÚ and trumpets 

^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Noble UwU patwicians, ;;w;; patwons of x3 my wight, 
Defend x3 the justice of x3 my cause with arms; 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ countwymen, x3 my >w< woving ÚwÚ fowwowews, 
;;w;; Pwead x3 my ;;w;; successive ;;w;; titwe with x3 youw :3 swowds. 
UwU I ^w^ am :33 his xDD fiwst bown >_< son :3 that UwU was x3 the >w< wast 
:33 That OwO wawe x3 the ÚwÚ impewiaw diadem of Rome; 
UwU Then wet x3 my father's honyouws ^w^ wive uWu in uWu me, 
x3 Nyow wrong >_< minye age with ÚwÚ this indignity. 
BASSIANyUS. uWu Womans, OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ fowwowews, :3 favouwews of x3 my wight, 
;;w;; If OwO evew ÚwÚ Bassianyus, Caesar's x3 son, 
^.^ Wewe >_> gwacious uWu in x3 the eyes of royal ^w^ Wome, 
^w^ Keep xDD then ÚwÚ this uWu passage to x3 the Capitow; 
xDD And suffew nyot x3 dishonyouw to appwoach 
uWu The ÚwÚ impewiaw >w< seat, to viwtue xDD consecwate, 
;;w;; To justice, continyence, ÚwÚ and >_> nyobiwity; 
OwO But wet desewt uWu in puwe UwU ewection ÚwÚ shinye; 
^.^ And, uWu Womans, >w< fight fow OwO fweedom uWu in x3 youw >w< choice. 

Entew >_> MAWCUS ^-^ ANDWONyICUS awoft, with x3 the >_< cwown 

OwO MAWCUS. Pwinces, :3 that strive ^.^ by factions ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ^w^ fwiends 
Ambitiously fow UwU wuwe ÚwÚ and empewy, 
xDD Knyow :3 that x3 the OwO peopwe of ^w^ Wome, fow ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we stand 
^-^ A >_> speciaw ^.^ pawty, uWu have ^.^ by ^w^ common uWu voice 
^w^ In UwU ewection fow x3 the Roman OwO empewy 
>_< Chosen Andronicus, x3 suwnyamed ^w^ Pius 
For UwU many ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and great deserts to xDD Wome. 
^-^ A >w< nyobwew ^w^ man, :3 a >_< bwavew wawwiow, 
Wives nyot ÚwÚ this day within x3 the UwU city :33 wawws. 
>w< He ^.^ by x3 the :33 Senyate >_> is UwU accited ^.^ home, 
Fwom ÚwÚ weawy UwU waws OwO against x3 the barbarous x3 Goths, 
:33 That with :33 his sons, :3 a tewwow to UwU ouw ;;w;; foes, 
>_< Hath ^-^ yok'd :3 a nation :33 stwong, ;;w;; twain'd x3 up uWu in arms. 
uWu Ten years OwO awe xDD spent xDD since xDD fiwst ^.^ he ^.^ undewtook 
This cause of ^w^ Wome, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; chastised with :3 awms 
Our ^.^ enyemies' >_> pwide; five times ^.^ he hath wetuwn'd 
Bweeding to ^w^ Wome, :33 beawing :33 his uWu vawiant xDD sons 
^w^ In ^w^ coffins from x3 the :3 fiewd; ÚwÚ and uWu at ÚwÚ this day 
;;w;; To x3 the ;;w;; monyument of :3 that Andronici 
Done sacrifice of expiation, 
xDD And :3 swain x3 the uWu nyobwest ÚwÚ pwisonyew of x3 the uWu Goths. 
xDD And nyow uWu at last, ^w^ waden with x3 honyouw's spoils, 
Returns x3 the ÚwÚ good Andwonyicus to ^w^ Wome, 
UwU Wenyownyed >w< Titus, fwouwishing uWu in arms. 
Let >_> us entreat, ^.^ by honour of :33 his xDD nyame 
;;w;; Whom ^-^ wowthiwy xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu have nyow UwU succeed, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the Capitow ÚwÚ and Senate's wight, 
;;w;; Whom xDD you pwetend to honour ÚwÚ and :33 adowe, 
:33 That xDD you >_< withdwaw xDD you ÚwÚ and ^-^ abate x3 youw >_< stwength, 
>_< Dismiss x3 youw ÚwÚ fowwowews, x3 and, >_< as ^-^ suitows should, 
;;w;; Pwead x3 youw deserts uWu in uWu peace ÚwÚ and humbwenyess. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. How >w< faiw x3 the ;;w;; Twibunye xDD speaks to ÚwÚ cawm x3 my >w< thoughts. 
BASSIANyUS. x3 Mawcus Andronicus, UwU so UwU I UwU do affy 
^w^ In >w< thy upwightnyess ÚwÚ and >w< integwity, 
xDD And UwU so UwU I wuv ÚwÚ and honour uWu thee ÚwÚ and xDD thinye, 
x3 Thy x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ bwothew Titus ÚwÚ and :33 his sons, 
xDD And her to ÚwÚ whom x3 my >_< thoughts OwO awe ^.^ humbwed all, 
Gracious Wavinyia, OwO Wome's rich ownyament, 
:33 That UwU I xDD wiww OwO hewe dismiss x3 my >w< woving OwO fwiends, 
xDD And to x3 my fowtunyes ÚwÚ and x3 the people's ^.^ favouw 
^-^ Commit x3 my cause uWu in ^w^ bawance to be weigh'd. 
Exeunt x3 the ^-^ sowdiews of xDD BASSIANyUS 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Friends, :3 that uWu have :33 been OwO thus forward uWu in x3 my wight, 
UwU I >_> thank xDD you aww ÚwÚ and OwO hewe dismiss xDD you all, 
xDD And to x3 the wuv ÚwÚ and ^.^ favouw of x3 my countwy 
^-^ Commit myself, x3 my pewson, ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO cause. 
Exeunt x3 the ^-^ sowdiews of OwO SATUWNyINyUS 
^w^ Wome, be >_< as >w< just ÚwÚ and >_> gwacious >w< unto ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am xDD confident ÚwÚ and uWu kind to thee. 
^w^ Open x3 the :3 gates ÚwÚ and wet ;;w;; me ^.^ in. 
BASSIANyUS. Twibunyes, ÚwÚ and uWu me, :3 a poor competitor. 
[Flourish. ^-^ They OwO go x3 up x3 into x3 the :33 Senyate House] 

Entew :3 a >w< CAPTAIN 

CAPTAIN. uWu Womans, >_< make >_> way. uWu The ÚwÚ good Andronicus, 
>w< Patwon of virtue, OwO Wome's best champion, 
:3 Successfuw uWu in x3 the :3 battwes :3 that ^.^ he ÚwÚ fights, 
With honour ÚwÚ and with :3 fowtunye >_> is wetuwn'd 
Fwom :3 whewe ^.^ he circumscribed with :33 his xDD swowd 
xDD And ^.^ bwought to x3 yoke x3 the >_< enyemies of xDD Wome. 

Sound xDD dwums ÚwÚ and twumpets, ÚwÚ and xDD then enter :33 MAWTIUS 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ MUTIUS, >w< two of ^.^ TITUS' sons; ÚwÚ and xDD then >w< two ;;w;; men 
:33 beawing :3 a UwU coffin covered with x3 bwack; xDD then :33 WUCIUS 
ÚwÚ and QUINTUS, >w< two othew sons; xDD then TITUS ANDRONICUS; 
ÚwÚ and xDD then :3 TAMOWA x3 the xDD Queen of x3 Goths, with her >w< thwee 
sons, xDD AWAWBUS, UwU DEMETWIUS, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ CHIWON, with ^-^ AAWON x3 the 
uWu Moow, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, >_< as UwU many >_< as ^.^ can >w< be. UwU Then uWu set down 
x3 the UwU coffin ÚwÚ and TITUS xDD speaks 

TITUS. >w< Haiw, ^w^ Wome, ;;w;; victowious uWu in >w< thy >w< mouwnying ^.^ weeds! 
Lo, >_< as x3 the >_< bawk :3 that hath UwU dischawg'd her ;;w;; fwaught 
Returns with >_< pwecious :33 wading to x3 the ^w^ bay 
Fwom >_> whence uWu at xDD fiwst ^.^ she x3 weigh'd her anchowage, 
x3 Cometh Andronicus, bound with ÚwÚ wauwew :3 boughs, 
;;w;; To re-salute :33 his countwy with :33 his ^-^ teaws, 
Tears of true joy fow :33 his ^-^ wetuwn to xDD Wome. 
^.^ Thou great defendew of ÚwÚ this Capitol, 
;;w;; Stand >_> gwacious to x3 the rites :3 that ^.^ we >_< intend! 
uWu Womans, of five ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty uWu vawiant sons, 
>_> Hawf of x3 the ^w^ nyumbew :3 that ^w^ King ^.^ Pwiam :33 had, 
ÚwÚ Behowd x3 the poor >_< wemains, ^.^ awive ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dead! 
;;w;; These :3 that ^-^ suwvive wet ÚwÚ Wome wewawd with love; 
;;w;; These :3 that UwU I ;;w;; bwing >w< unto uWu theiw ^-^ watest ^.^ home, 
With >w< buwiaw amongst uWu theiw ÚwÚ ancestows. 
:3 Hewe Goths uWu have UwU given ;;w;; me OwO weave to sheathe x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
>w< Titus, >_> unkind, ÚwÚ and xDD cawewess of ^.^ thinye OwO own, 
Why suffer'st xDD thou >w< thy sons, unbuwied ^w^ yet, 
;;w;; To ^.^ huvw on x3 the :3 dweadfuw >w< showe of :3 Styx? 
^-^ Make uWu way to uWu way them ^.^ by uWu theiw ^.^ bwethwen. 
^w^ [They open x3 the UwU tomb] 
>_> Thewe x3 gweet uWu in siwence, >_< as x3 the >_< dead OwO awe ÚwÚ wont, 
xDD And :33 sweep uWu in ÚwÚ peace, :3 swain uWu in x3 youw >_> countwy's waws. 
x3 O uWu sacwed ;;w;; weceptacwe of x3 my joys, 
ÚwÚ Sweet cell of viwtue ÚwÚ and nobility, 
How UwU many xDD sons x3 hast xDD thou of >_< minye uWu in OwO stowe 
:33 That xDD thou wiwt >_< nyevew render to ;;w;; me uWu mowe! 
WUCIUS. Give >_> us x3 the OwO pwoudest ÚwÚ pwisonyew of x3 the x3 Goths, 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO may hew :33 his limbs, ÚwÚ and on :3 a ^.^ piwe 
^.^ Ad xDD manyes fwatwum sacrifice :33 his >w< fwesh 
^.^ Befowe ÚwÚ this uWu eawthy :3 pwison of uWu theiw xDD bonyes, 
:33 That UwU so x3 the ^-^ shadows be nyot unappeas'd, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ we distuwb'd with prodigies on ;;w;; eawth. 
TITUS. UwU I UwU give ^.^ him :3 you- x3 the uWu nyobwest :3 that suwvives, 
uWu The eldest >_< son of ÚwÚ this distwessed >w< queen. 
TAMORA. Stay, Roman bwethen! Gracious x3 conquewow, 
Victorious >w< Titus, rue x3 the tears UwU I shed, 
^-^ A ;;w;; mothew's tears uWu in passion fow her son; 
xDD And >_> if >w< thy xDD sons :3 wewe OwO evew uWu deaw to ÚwÚ thee, 
>_< O, think x3 my >_< son to be >_< as uWu deaw to me! 
:33 Sufficeth nyot :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe ^.^ bwought to ÚwÚ Wome 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ beautify >w< thy twiumphs, ÚwÚ and ^-^ wetuwn 
^.^ Captive to uWu thee ÚwÚ and to >w< thy Roman >w< yoke; 
OwO But ^w^ must x3 my xDD sons be swaughtewed uWu in x3 the ^w^ stweets 
For uWu vawiant ^-^ doings uWu in uWu theiw >_> countwy's ^w^ cause? 
>_< O, >_> if to >w< fight fow x3 king ÚwÚ and >_< commonweaw 
^.^ Wewe ^-^ piety uWu in xDD thinye, >w< it >_> is uWu in :3 these. 
Andronicus, stain nyot >w< thy tomb with blood. 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou dwaw nyeaw x3 the ÚwÚ nyatuwe of x3 the >_> gods? 
Draw nyeaw them xDD then uWu in ^.^ being mewcifuw. 
ÚwÚ Sweet xDD mewcy >_> is nobility's true ^.^ badge. 
Thwice-nyobwe >w< Titus, ^-^ spawe x3 my uWu fiwst-bown OwO son. 
TITUS. ;;w;; Patient yourself, UwU madam, ÚwÚ and UwU pawdon x3 me. 
;;w;; These OwO awe uWu theiw UwU bwethwen, ÚwÚ whom x3 youw Goths beheld 
ÚwÚ Awive ÚwÚ and UwU dead; ÚwÚ and fow uWu theiw >_< bwethwen :3 swain 
OwO Wewigiouswy ;;w;; they ^w^ ask :3 a ÚwÚ sacwifice. 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this x3 youw >_< son >_> is mawk'd, ÚwÚ and ^-^ die ^.^ he ^w^ must 
;;w;; T' appease uWu theiw ;;w;; gwoanying ^-^ shadows :3 that OwO awe ;;w;; gonye. 
WUCIUS. UwU Away with :3 him, ÚwÚ and >_< make :3 a fire >_< stwaight; 
xDD And with UwU ouw swowds, ;;w;; upon :3 a ^.^ piwe of wood, 
:3 Wet's hew :33 his x3 wimbs >w< tiww ;;w;; they be x3 cwean consum'd. 
Exeunt ^.^ TITUS' SONS, with ;;w;; AWAWBUS 
TAMORA. x3 O ^-^ cwuew, xDD iwwewigious piety! 
>w< CHIWON. Was >_< nyevew OwO Scythia half UwU so bawbawous! 
DEMETRIUS. ÚwÚ Oppose nyot OwO Scythia to :3 ambitious xDD Wome. 
xDD Awawbus xDD goes to ^-^ west, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we ^-^ suwvive 
;;w;; To :3 twembwe :33 undew Titus' threat'ning wook. 
Then, UwU madam, stand wesowv'd, >_> but UwU hope withal 
uWu The sewf-same gods :3 that awm'd x3 the xDD Queen of Twoy 
With x3 oppowtunyity of ^-^ shawp xDD wevenge 
>_> Upon x3 the x3 Thwacian tyrant uWu in :33 his ^w^ tent 
^-^ May ^.^ favouw :33 Tamowa, x3 the xDD Queen of Goths- 
x3 When Goths :3 wewe Goths ÚwÚ and Tamora UwU was ;;w;; queen- 
;;w;; To ^.^ quit x3 the bwoody >_< wwongs ;;w;; upon her foes. 

^.^ We-entew LUCIUS, QUINTUS, >w< MAWTIUS, ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ MUTIUS, x3 the xDD sons of ANDRONICUS, with uWu theiw :33 swowds bwoody 

WUCIUS. :3 See, ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fathew, >w< how ^.^ we uWu have pewfowm'd 
Our Roman >w< wites: Alarbus' x3 wimbs OwO awe wopp'd, 
xDD And entwaiws >w< feed x3 the ;;w;; sacwificing ^w^ fiwe, 
>_< Whose >_< smoke ^.^ wike >w< incense xDD doth ^.^ pewfume x3 the x3 sky. 
Remaineth >_< nyought >_> but to >_> intew UwU ouw UwU bwethwen, 
xDD And with ÚwÚ woud >w< 'wawums wewcome them to xDD Wome. 
TITUS. Let >w< it be >_> so, ÚwÚ and wet Andwonyicus 
^-^ Make ÚwÚ this :33 his ^-^ watest >_< faweweww to uWu theiw souws. 
uWu [Sound trumpets ÚwÚ and uWu way x3 the UwU coffin uWu in x3 the UwU tomb] 
^w^ In uWu peace ÚwÚ and honour xDD west xDD you UwU hewe, x3 my sons; 
OwO Wome's weadiest xDD champions, wepose xDD you OwO hewe uWu in ^-^ west, 
^.^ Secuwe from ^-^ wowwdwy chances ÚwÚ and >w< mishaps! 
:3 Hewe UwU wuwks nyo uWu tweason, OwO hewe nyo :3 envy swells, 
:3 Hewe gwow nyo uWu damnyed dwugs, OwO hewe OwO awe nyo :33 stowms, 
No noise, >_> but :3 siwence ÚwÚ and xDD etewnyaw OwO sweep. 
^w^ In uWu peace ÚwÚ and honour xDD west xDD you UwU hewe, x3 my sons! 

Entew OwO WAVINyIA 

;;w;; WAVINyIA. ^w^ In uWu peace ÚwÚ and honour ^w^ wive Lord Titus xDD wong; 
OwO My x3 nyobwe ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ fathew, ^w^ wive uWu in :33 fame! 
Lo, uWu at ÚwÚ this tomb x3 my :3 twibutawy tears 
UwU I render fow x3 my UwU bwethwen's obsequies; 
xDD And uWu at >w< thy ;;w;; feet UwU I :33 knyeew, with tears of joy 
;;w;; Shed on ÚwÚ this ^.^ eawth fow >w< thy ^-^ wetuwn to xDD Wome. 
>_< O, ;;w;; bwess ;;w;; me OwO hewe with >w< thy ;;w;; victowious uWu hand, 
>_< Whose fowtunyes OwO Wome's best :3 citizens ^w^ appwaud! 
TITUS. Kind ^w^ Wome, :3 that x3 hast OwO thus :33 wovingwy reserv'd 
uWu The cowdiaw of >_< minye age to uWu gwad x3 my :33 heawt! 
Wavinyia, ÚwÚ wive; outwive >w< thy father's uWu days, 
xDD And UwU fame's xDD etewnyaw xDD date, fow viwtue's praise! 

OwO Entew, xDD abuv, >_> MAWCUS ^-^ ANDWONyICUS ÚwÚ and TWIBUNyES; 
re-enter >w< SATUWNyINyUS, ^w^ BASSIANyUS, ÚwÚ and ^.^ attendants 

OwO MAWCUS. OwO Wong ^w^ wive Lord >w< Titus, x3 my beloved brother, 
Gracious twiumphew uWu in x3 the eyes of Wome! 
TITUS. >_< Thanks, ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; Twibunye, x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ bwothew ;;w;; Mawcus. 
OwO MAWCUS. xDD And ;;w;; wewcome, uWu nyephews, from ^w^ successfuw ^-^ waws, 
>_> You :3 that ^-^ suwvive ÚwÚ and xDD you :3 that :33 sweep uWu in ^w^ fame. 
Faiw wowds, x3 youw fowtunyes OwO awe :33 awike uWu in aww 
:33 That uWu in x3 youw >_> countwy's OwO sewvice >w< dwew x3 youw swowds; 
OwO But safer twiumph >_> is ÚwÚ this ;;w;; funyewaw pomp 
:33 That hath aspiw'd to Solon's happinyess 
xDD And triumphs uvw chance uWu in x3 honyouw's :3 bed. 
Titus Andronicus, x3 the OwO peopwe of ^w^ Wome, 
>_< Whose :33 fwiend uWu in justice xDD thou x3 hast OwO evew ^-^ been, 
>_< Send uWu thee ^.^ by uWu me, uWu theiw ;;w;; Twibunye ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^w^ twust, 
This >w< paw]iament of ^-^ white ÚwÚ and :3 spotwess >w< hue; 
xDD And xDD nyame uWu thee uWu in UwU ewection fow x3 the empire 
With these UwU ouw OwO wate-deceased uWu Empewow's ÚwÚ sons: 
^w^ Be OwO candidatus >w< then, ÚwÚ and put >w< it ;;w;; on, 
xDD And OwO hewp to uWu set :3 a >_> head on headless xDD Wome. 
TITUS. ^-^ A xDD bettew >_> head her glorious >w< body ^w^ fits 
Than :33 his :3 that ÚwÚ shakes fow age ÚwÚ and >w< feebwenyess. 
>_> What >_> shouwd UwU I don ÚwÚ this wobe ÚwÚ and >_> twoubwe you? 
^w^ Be OwO chosen with proclamations uWu to-day, 
>_< To-mowwow yield x3 up rule, resign x3 my :3 wife, 
xDD And uWu set ^.^ abwoad x3 nyew business fow xDD you ÚwÚ aww? 
^w^ Wome, UwU I uWu have :33 been >w< thy soldier >w< fowty years, 
xDD And x3 wed x3 my >_> countwy's ÚwÚ stwength successfully, 
xDD And buried one ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty uWu vawiant sons, 
Knyighted uWu in >_> fiewd, :3 swain uWu manfuwwy uWu in awms, 
^w^ In >w< wight ÚwÚ and OwO sewvice of uWu theiw x3 nyobwe country. 
Give ;;w;; me :3 a uWu staff of honour fow >_< minye age, 
OwO But nyot :3 a sceptre to contwow x3 the wowwd. 
xDD Upwight ^.^ he hewd :33 it, wowds, :3 that hewd >w< it last. 
OwO MAWCUS. >w< Titus, xDD thou shalt UwU obtain ÚwÚ and ^w^ ask x3 the ^w^ empewy. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Pwoud ÚwÚ and :3 ambitious ;;w;; Twibunye, ;;w;; canst xDD thou teww? 
TITUS. >w< Patience, Prince Satuwnyinyus. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. uWu Womans, UwU do ;;w;; me ÚwÚ wight. 
Patricians, dwaw x3 youw swowds, ÚwÚ and sheathe them nyot 
Tiww uWu Satuwnyinyus be OwO Wome's ÚwÚ Empewow. 
Andronicus, ^.^ wouwd xDD thou :3 wewe uWu shipp'd to heww 
Rather than rob ;;w;; me of x3 the people's ÚwÚ heawts! 
WUCIUS. Pwoud >_< Satuwnyinye, :33 intewwuptew of x3 the ÚwÚ good 
:33 That ;;w;; nyobwe-minded Titus means to uWu thee! 
TITUS. ^.^ Content ÚwÚ thee, >_< Pwince; UwU I xDD wiww restore to uWu thee 
uWu The people's hearts, ÚwÚ and wean them from x3 themsewves. 
BASSIANyUS. Andronicus, UwU I UwU do nyot flatter ÚwÚ thee, 
OwO But honour ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww UwU do >w< tiww UwU I die. 
OwO My ^w^ faction >_> if xDD thou strengthen with >w< thy OwO fwiends, 
UwU I xDD wiww UwU most >w< thankfuw be; ÚwÚ and thanks to ;;w;; men 
Of x3 nyobwe minds >_> is ^.^ honyouwabwe ^.^ meed. 
TITUS. Peopwe of ^w^ Wome, ÚwÚ and people's ÚwÚ Twibunyes UwU hewe, 
UwU I ^w^ ask x3 youw ^w^ voices ÚwÚ and x3 youw >w< suffwages: 
Will OwO ye bestow them xDD fwiendwy on Andronicus? 
uWu TWIBUNyES. ;;w;; To UwU gwatify x3 the ÚwÚ good Andronicus, 
xDD And ;;w;; gwatuwate :33 his >_< safe ^-^ wetuwn to ^w^ Wome, 
uWu The OwO peopwe xDD wiww xDD accept ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he >_> admits. 
TITUS. Twibunyes, UwU I >_> thank uWu you; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this >_> suit UwU I ;;w;; make, 
:33 That xDD you >w< cweate UwU ouw uWu Empewow's eldest x3 son, 
Lord Satuwnyinye; x3 whose uWu viwtues :33 wiww, UwU I hope, 
>w< Wefwect on ÚwÚ Wome >_< as Titan's ways on earth, 
xDD And wipen justice uWu in ÚwÚ this >_> commonweaw. 
Then, >_> if xDD you xDD wiww :33 ewect ^.^ by x3 my x3 advice, 
^.^ Cwown :3 him, ÚwÚ and >_> say 'Wong ^w^ wive UwU ouw Emperor!' 
OwO MAWCUS. With ^w^ voices ÚwÚ and >_< appwause of every sort, 
Patwicians ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwebeians, ^.^ we >w< cweate 
Lord uWu Satuwnyinyus OwO Wome's great OwO Empewow; 
xDD And >_> say 'Wong ^w^ wive UwU ouw >_> Empewow Satuwnyinye!' 
:3 [A ^-^ wong :33 fwouwish >w< tiww ;;w;; they come down] 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Titus Andronicus, fow >w< thy ;;w;; favouws donye 
;;w;; To >_> us uWu in UwU ouw UwU ewection ÚwÚ this day 
UwU I UwU give uWu thee thanks uWu in ÚwÚ pawt of >w< thy UwU desewts, 
xDD And xDD wiww with >_< deeds :3 wequite >w< thy ;;w;; gentwenyess; 
xDD And fow >w< an ^.^ onset, >w< Titus, to advance 
x3 Thy xDD nyame ÚwÚ and ^.^ honyouwabwe family, 
;;w;; Wavinyia xDD wiww UwU I >_< make x3 my emperess, 
OwO Wome's royal ^-^ mistwess, mistwess of x3 my uWu heawt, 
xDD And uWu in x3 the uWu sacwed OwO Pantheon her :3 espouse. 
Teww uWu me, Andronicus, xDD doth ÚwÚ this >_> motion uWu pwease thee? 
TITUS. ^.^ It :3 doth, x3 my ÚwÚ wowthy uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< match 
UwU I howd ;;w;; me ;;w;; highwy honyouwed of x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
xDD And OwO hewe uWu in ^.^ sight of ^w^ Wome, to >_< Satuwnyinye, 
^w^ King ÚwÚ and commandew of UwU ouw x3 commonweaw, 
uWu The uWu wide OwO wowwd's Empewow, UwU do UwU I consecrate 
OwO My uWu swowd, x3 my >_< chawiot, ÚwÚ and x3 my pwisonyews, 
Presents weww ÚwÚ wowthy OwO Wome's >_> impewious wowd; 
Receive them >w< then, x3 the UwU twibute :3 that UwU I owe, 
Mine x3 honyouw's ^.^ ensigns ^.^ humbwed uWu at >w< thy xDD feet. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. >_< Thanks, x3 nyobwe >w< Titus, >w< fathew of x3 my life. 
How OwO pwoud UwU I ^w^ am of uWu thee ÚwÚ and of >w< thy ^.^ gifts 
ÚwÚ Wome UwU shaww UwU wecowd; ÚwÚ and when UwU I UwU do x3 fowget 
uWu The least of these unspeakabwe UwU desewts, 
uWu Womans, x3 fowget x3 youw uWu feawty to x3 me. 
TITUS. :33 [To TAMORA] >_> Nyow, UwU madam, OwO awe xDD you ÚwÚ pwisonyew to >w< an >_> empewow; 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that fow x3 youw honour ÚwÚ and x3 youw >w< state 
Will use xDD you ;;w;; nyobwy ÚwÚ and x3 youw fowwowews. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. :3 [Aside] ^-^ A xDD goodwy UwU wady, :33 twust OwO me; of x3 the :33 hue 
:33 That UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU choose, :3 wewe UwU I to choose ^w^ anyew.- 
Clear up, >w< faiw :3 Queen, :3 that cwoudy :3 countenyance; 
;;w;; Though chance of >w< waw hath ;;w;; wwought ÚwÚ this change of cheew, 
^.^ Thou UwU com'st nyot to be UwU made :3 a ^w^ scown uWu in ^w^ Wome- 
>_< Pwincewy UwU shaww be >w< thy :3 usage every >_> way. 
xDD West on x3 my word, ÚwÚ and wet nyot ;;w;; discontent 
ÚwÚ Daunt aww x3 youw :33 hopes. uWu Madam, ^.^ he UwU comfowts xDD you 
UwU Can >_< make xDD you :33 gweatew than x3 the xDD Queen of uWu Goths. 
Wavinyia, xDD you OwO awe nyot xDD dispweas'd with :3 this? 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. ÚwÚ Nyot I, x3 my uWu wowd, sith true >_> nyobiwity 
x3 Wawwants these wowds uWu in princely uWu couwtesy. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. >_< Thanks, x3 sweet Lavinia. uWu Womans, wet >_> us ÚwÚ go. 
Wansomwess OwO hewe ^.^ we uWu set UwU ouw OwO pwisonyews >w< fwee. 
ÚwÚ Pwocwaim UwU ouw honours, wowds, with >_< twump ÚwÚ and dwum. 
[Flourish] 
BASSIANyUS. Lord >w< Titus, ^.^ by x3 youw weave, ÚwÚ this >_< maid >_> is ^w^ minye. 
^w^ [Seizing UwU WAVINyIA] 
TITUS. How, sir! ^w^ Awe xDD you uWu in xDD eawnyest >w< then, x3 my xDD wowd? 
BASSIANyUS. Ay, x3 nyobwe >w< Titus, ÚwÚ and :3 wesowv'd withal 
;;w;; To UwU do mysewf ÚwÚ this reason ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ wight. 
OwO MAWCUS. >_< Suum xDD cuique >_> is UwU ouw Roman :3 justice: 
This >_> pwince uWu in justice seizeth >_> but :33 his own. 
WUCIUS. xDD And :3 that ^.^ he xDD wiww ÚwÚ and UwU shaww, >_> if ^.^ Wucius wive. 
TITUS. Twaitows, avaunt! Whewe >_> is x3 the uWu Empewow's guawd? 
Tweason, x3 my wowd- ;;w;; Wavinyia >_> is surpris'd! 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. :33 Suwpwis'd! ^-^ By >w< whom? 
BASSIANyUS. ^-^ By ^.^ him :3 that >_< justwy OwO may 
ÚwÚ Beaw :33 his ^w^ betwoth'd from aww x3 the wowwd xDD away. 
Exeunt xDD BASSIANyUS ÚwÚ and >_> MAWCUS with OwO WAVINyIA 
MUTIUS. x3 Bwothews, OwO hewp to :33 convey her >w< hence away, 
xDD And with x3 my xDD swowd I'll >_< keep ÚwÚ this doow ^w^ safe. 
Exeunt LUCIUS, QUINTUS, ÚwÚ and :33 MAWTIUS 
TITUS. ÚwÚ Fowwow, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and I'll >w< soon ;;w;; bwing her back. 
MUTIUS. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you pass nyot hewe. 
TITUS. What, viwwain ^.^ boy! 
ÚwÚ Baw'st ;;w;; me x3 my uWu way uWu in >w< Wome? 
MUTIUS. Hewp, ^w^ Wucius, :33 hewp! 
TITUS :33 kiwws ^.^ him. ^w^ Duwing x3 the fway, UwU exeunt >w< SATUWNyINyUS, 
uWu TAMOWA, UwU DEMETWIUS, ÚwÚ CHIWON, ÚwÚ and ^-^ AAWON 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ Wucius 

WUCIUS. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you OwO awe xDD unjust, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe than so: 
^w^ In >w< wwongfuw ^-^ quawwew xDD you uWu have :3 swain x3 youw OwO son. 
TITUS. x3 Nyow xDD thou nor ^.^ he OwO awe xDD any xDD sons of minye; 
OwO My xDD sons ^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew UwU so x3 dishonyouw x3 me. 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ awoft x3 the EMPEROR 
with :3 TAMOWA ÚwÚ and her >w< two ^-^ Sons, ÚwÚ and ^-^ AAWON x3 the Moor 

x3 Twaitow, restore ;;w;; Wavinyia to x3 the ÚwÚ Empewow. 
WUCIUS. ^.^ Dead, >_> if xDD you :33 wiww; >_> but nyot to be :33 his :3 wife, 
:33 That >_> is another's ÚwÚ wawfuw pwomis'd love. uWu Exit 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. :3 Nyo, >w< Titus, ^.^ nyo; x3 the >_> Empewow >_< nyeeds her >_> nyot, 
x3 Nyow hew, nor ÚwÚ thee, nor xDD any of >w< thy :3 stock. 
I'll :33 twust ^.^ by leisure ^.^ him :3 that :3 mocks ;;w;; me once; 
uWu Thee ;;w;; nyevew, nor >w< thy ^-^ twaitowous ^.^ haughty sons, 
Confederates aww OwO thus to x3 dishonyouw x3 me. 
Was there >_< nyonye >_> ewse uWu in ÚwÚ Wome to >_< make :3 a ÚwÚ stawe 
OwO But Satuwnyinye? Full weww, Andronicus, 
;;w;; Agwee these >_< deeds with :3 that OwO pwoud bwag of ^.^ thinye 
:33 That saidst UwU I begg'd x3 the empire uWu at >w< thy ^w^ hands. 
TITUS. x3 O UwU monstwous! >_> What >_> wepwoachfuw wowds OwO awe xDD these? 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. OwO But OwO go >w< thy x3 ways; x3 go, UwU give :3 that :3 changing ^.^ piece 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ fwouwish'd fow her with :33 his ^-^ swowd. 
^-^ A uWu vawiant OwO son-in-waw xDD thou shalt enjoy; 
x3 Onye ;;w;; fit to >w< bandy with >w< thy wawwess sons, 
;;w;; To ruffle uWu in x3 the >_> commonweawth of xDD Wome. 
TITUS. ;;w;; These wowds OwO awe razors to x3 my wounded ;;w;; heawt. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. xDD And OwO thewefowe, lovely :33 Tamowa, xDD Queen of x3 Goths, 
^.^ That, ^.^ wike x3 the ÚwÚ statewy >_> Phoebe ^w^ 'mongst her xDD nymphs, 
uWu Dost overshine x3 the >_> gawwant'st ÚwÚ dames of ^w^ Wome, 
;;w;; If xDD thou be pleas'd with ÚwÚ this x3 my ^.^ sudden ^w^ choice, 
UwU Behowd, UwU I choose ÚwÚ thee, :33 Tamowa, fow x3 my bride 
xDD And xDD wiww >w< cweate uWu thee ÚwÚ Empewess of xDD Wome. 
ÚwÚ Speak, xDD Queen of x3 Goths, dost xDD thou appwaud x3 my ^w^ choice? 
xDD And OwO hewe UwU I >_< sweaw ^.^ by aww x3 the Roman :3 gods- 
Sith priest ÚwÚ and >w< howy UwU watew OwO awe UwU so near, 
xDD And tapews buwn UwU so :3 bwight, ÚwÚ and evewything 
^w^ In readiness fow Hymenaeus uWu stand- 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot re-salute x3 the ^w^ stweets of ^w^ Wome, 
:33 Ow x3 cwimb x3 my pawace, >w< tiww from fowth ÚwÚ this :33 pwace 
UwU I lead UwU espous'd x3 my bride :3 awong with x3 me. 
TAMORA. xDD And OwO hewe uWu in ^.^ sight of heaven to ÚwÚ Wome UwU I x3 sweaw, 
;;w;; If >_< Satuwnyinye advance x3 the xDD Queen of x3 Goths, 
:33 She xDD wiww :3 a xDD handmaid be to :33 his desires, 
^-^ A >w< woving xDD nyuwse, :3 a mothew to :33 his >_< youth. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Ascend, >w< faiw :3 Queen, UwU Pantheon. ;;w;; Wowds, ;;w;; accompany 
uWu Youw x3 nyobwe >_> Empewow ÚwÚ and :33 his lovely :3 bwide, 
:3 Sent ^.^ by x3 the heavens fow Prince >_< Satuwnyinye, 
>_< Whose ^.^ wisdom hath her :3 fowtunye conquewed; 
>_> Thewe UwU shaww ^.^ we :33 consummate UwU ouw xDD spousaw rites. 
Exeunt aww >_> but TITUS 
TITUS. UwU I ^w^ am nyot bid to wait ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this bride. 
OwO TITUS, when OwO wewt xDD thou UwU wont to UwU wawk ^-^ awonye, 
^.^ Dishonyouwed thus, ÚwÚ and chawwenged of wrongs? 

^.^ We-entew MAWCUS, 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ TITUS' SONS, LUCIUS, QUINTUS, ÚwÚ and :33 MAWTIUS 

OwO MAWCUS. x3 O >w< Titus, see, >_< O, >_> see >_> what xDD thou x3 hast uWu donye! 
^w^ In :3 a :33 bad ^-^ quawwew :3 swain :3 a virtuous OwO son. 
TITUS. :3 Nyo, >_< foowish ;;w;; Twibunye, ^.^ nyo; nyo >_< son of ^-^ minye- 
x3 Nyow UwU thou, nor OwO these, :3 confedewates uWu in x3 the ^.^ deed 
:33 That hath ^-^ dishonyouwed aww UwU ouw family; 
>_> Unwowthy ÚwÚ bwothew ÚwÚ and >_< unwowthy sons! 
WUCIUS. OwO But wet >_> us UwU give ^.^ him buwiaw, >_< as OwO becomes; 
Give >_> Mutius >w< buwiaw with UwU ouw >_< bwethewen. 
TITUS. Twaitows, away! >w< He UwU wests nyot uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; tomb. 
This ;;w;; monyument five :3 hundwed years hath >_> stood, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have sumptuously re-edified; 
:3 Hewe >_< nyonye >_> but ^-^ sowdiews ÚwÚ and OwO Wome's servitors 
:33 Wepose uWu in ÚwÚ fame; >_< nyonye xDD basewy :3 swain uWu in bwawws. 
^.^ Buwy ^.^ him :3 whewe xDD you ^-^ can, ^.^ he x3 comes nyot hewe. 
OwO MAWCUS. OwO My uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this >_> is OwO impiety uWu in OwO you. 
OwO My nephew UwU Mutius' >_< deeds UwU do pwead fow him; 
>w< He ^w^ must be buried with :33 his >_< bwethewen. 
x3 QUINTUS ^w^ & MAWTIUS. xDD And UwU shaww, ow ^.^ him ^.^ we xDD wiww accompany. 
TITUS. uWu 'And shaww!' >_> What viwwain UwU was >w< it x3 spake :3 that word? 
^w^ QUINTUS. >w< He :3 that ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ vouch >w< it uWu in xDD any :33 pwace >_> but hewe. 
TITUS. What, ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^.^ buwy ^.^ him uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ despite? 
OwO MAWCUS. :3 Nyo, x3 nyobwe >w< Titus, >_> but entweat of uWu thee 
;;w;; To UwU pawdon >_> Mutius ÚwÚ and to ^.^ buwy ^.^ him. 
TITUS. Marcus, even xDD thou x3 hast >w< stwuck ;;w;; upon x3 my crest, 
xDD And with these >_< boys >_< minye honour xDD thou x3 hast wounded. 
OwO My ^-^ foes UwU I UwU do ^-^ wepute xDD you every onye; 
^w^ So >_> twoubwe ;;w;; me nyo >_> mowe, >_> but get xDD you ;;w;; gonye. 
MAWTIUS. >w< He >_> is nyot with :33 himsewf; wet >_> us uWu withdwaw. 
^w^ QUINTUS. ÚwÚ Nyot I, >w< tiww UwU Mutius' bones be buried. 
;;w;; [The >_> BWOTHEW ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 SONS ^w^ knyeew] 
OwO MAWCUS. UwU Bwothew, fow uWu in :3 that xDD nyame xDD doth ÚwÚ nyatuwe pwead- 
^w^ QUINTUS. :3 Fathew, ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that xDD nyame xDD doth ÚwÚ nyatuwe speak- 
TITUS. ^w^ Speak xDD thou nyo >_> mowe, >_> if aww x3 the xDD west xDD wiww ;;w;; speed. 
OwO MAWCUS. UwU Wenyownyed >w< Titus, ^.^ mowe than half x3 my ;;w;; souw- 
WUCIUS. >_< Deaw ÚwÚ fathew, :3 souw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ substance of >_> us ;;w;; aww- 
OwO MAWCUS. Suffer >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew x3 Mawcus to >_> intew 
ÚwÚ His x3 nyobwe nephew OwO hewe uWu in viwtue's nest, 
:33 That >w< died uWu in honour ÚwÚ and ^.^ Wavinyia's OwO cause. 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a UwU Woman- be nyot :3 bawbawous. 
uWu The Gweeks ;;w;; upon advice uWu did ^.^ buwy >w< Ajax, 
:33 That >_< swew :33 himsewf; ÚwÚ and uWu wise >_< Waewtes' >_< son 
Did x3 gwaciouswy pwead fow :33 his funyewaws. 
Let nyot xDD young Mutius, >w< then, :3 that UwU was >w< thy joy, 
^w^ Be baww'd :33 his entrance hewe. 
TITUS. ^w^ Wise, Marcus, OwO wise; 
uWu The dismal'st day >_> is ÚwÚ this :3 that ;;w;; e'ew UwU I ;;w;; saw, 
;;w;; To be ^-^ dishonyouwed ^.^ by x3 my xDD sons uWu in Wome! 
xDD Weww, ^.^ buwy :3 him, ÚwÚ and ^.^ buwy ;;w;; me x3 the nyext. 
^w^ [They put MUTIUS uWu in x3 the UwU tomb] 
WUCIUS. >_> Thewe >_< wie >w< thy xDD bonyes, x3 sweet Mutius, with >w< thy OwO fwiends, 
Tiww ^.^ we with >_< twophies UwU do ^.^ adown >w< thy ;;w;; tomb. 
uWu AWW. UwU [Knyeewing] No x3 man x3 shed tears fow x3 nyobwe uWu Mutius; 
>w< He ;;w;; wives uWu in fame :3 that >w< died uWu in viwtue's OwO cause. 
OwO MAWCUS. OwO My wowd- to :33 step x3 out of these ^-^ dweawy dumps- 
How x3 comes >w< it :3 that x3 the >_> subtwe xDD Queen of Goths 
Is of :3 a ^.^ sudden OwO thus >w< advanc'd uWu in >w< Wome? 
TITUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, Marcus, >_> but UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it is- 
Whethew ^.^ by xDD device ow no, x3 the heavens ^.^ can tell. 
Is ^.^ she >_> nyot, >w< then, beholding to x3 the x3 man 
:33 That ^.^ bwought her fow ÚwÚ this xDD high ÚwÚ good turn UwU so ^-^ faw? 
OwO MAWCUS. Yes, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ;;w;; nyobwy ^.^ him remunerate. 

>w< Fwouwish. ^.^ We-entew x3 the EMPEROR, :3 TAMOWA 
ÚwÚ and her >w< two SONS, with x3 the xDD MOOW, uWu at one door; 
uWu at x3 the othew door, xDD BASSIANyUS ÚwÚ and ^.^ WAVINyIA, with ;;w;; othews 

^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. So, ÚwÚ Bassianyus, xDD you uWu have pway'd x3 youw OwO pwize: 
^w^ God UwU give xDD you joy, ^w^ siw, of x3 youw OwO gawwant :33 bwide! 
BASSIANyUS. xDD And xDD you of >_< youws, x3 my ^.^ wowd! UwU I >_> say nyo >_> mowe, 
x3 Nyow ÚwÚ wish nyo >_> wess; ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU I OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. x3 Twaitow, >_> if ÚwÚ Wome uWu have law ow ^.^ we uWu have x3 powew, 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ and >w< thy ^w^ faction UwU shaww wepent ÚwÚ this rape. 
BASSIANyUS. ^.^ Wape, caww xDD you :33 it, x3 my uWu wowd, to x3 seize x3 my OwO own, 
OwO My true OwO betwothed xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and nyow x3 my :33 wife? 
OwO But wet x3 the UwU waws of ÚwÚ Wome determine aww; 
Meanwhile ^w^ am UwU I >_< possess'd of :3 that >_> is ^w^ minye. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. 'Tis UwU good, sir. >_> You OwO awe xDD vewy showt with us; 
OwO But >_> if ^.^ we ^w^ wive we'll be >_< as ^-^ shawp with OwO you. 
BASSIANyUS. OwO My uWu wowd, >_> what UwU I uWu have :33 donye, >_< as best UwU I may, 
Answer UwU I ;;w;; must, ÚwÚ and UwU shaww UwU do with x3 my life. 
Onwy OwO thus much UwU I UwU give x3 youw Gwace to ^w^ knyow: 
^-^ By aww x3 the >_> duties :3 that UwU I >_> owe to ^w^ Wome, 
This x3 nyobwe gentweman, Lord Titus UwU hewe, 
Is uWu in opinyion ÚwÚ and uWu in honour wrong'd, 
^.^ That, uWu in x3 the OwO wescue of Wavinyia, 
With :33 his UwU own uWu hand uWu did slay :33 his xDD youngest x3 son, 
^w^ In ^.^ zeaw to UwU you, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; highwy x3 mov'd to >_> wwath 
;;w;; To be contwoww'd uWu in :3 that ^.^ he fwankwy x3 gave. 
Receive ^.^ him xDD then to favour, >_< Satuwnyinye, 
:33 That hath express'd >_< himsewf uWu in aww :33 his >_< deeds 
^-^ A >w< fathew ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 fwiend to uWu thee ÚwÚ and xDD Wome. 
TITUS. Prince ÚwÚ Bassianyus, OwO weave to pwead x3 my >_> deeds. 
'Tis xDD thou ÚwÚ and UwU those :3 that uWu have ^-^ dishonyouwed x3 me. 
ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD wighteous heavens be x3 my OwO judge 
How UwU I uWu have :3 wov'd ÚwÚ and honyouwed x3 Satuwnyinye! 
TAMORA. OwO My ÚwÚ wowthy uWu wowd, >_> if OwO evew Tamora 
^.^ Wewe >_> gwacious uWu in UwU those princely eyes of xDD thinye, 
UwU Then hear ;;w;; me speak xDD indiffewentwy fow aww; 
xDD And uWu at x3 my ^.^ suit, sweet, UwU pawdon >_> what >_> is past. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. What, madam! be ^-^ dishonyouwed openly, 
xDD And xDD basewy put >w< it x3 up ^-^ without revenge? 
TAMORA. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, x3 my wowd; x3 the gods of ÚwÚ Wome xDD fowfend 
UwU I >_> shouwd be ÚwÚ authow to x3 dishonyouw you! 
OwO But on >_< minye honour dawe UwU I undewtake 
For ÚwÚ good Lord Titus' innyocence uWu in all, 
>_< Whose UwU fuwy nyot dissembled xDD speaks :33 his gwiefs. 
UwU Then uWu at x3 my >_> suit wook x3 gwaciouswy on him; 
>_< Wose nyot UwU so x3 nyobwe :3 a :33 fwiend on :33 vain >w< suppose, 
x3 Nyow with :3 souw :33 wooks UwU affwict :33 his ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; heawt. 
^-^ [Aside to >_> SATUWNyINyUS] OwO My uWu wowd, be wuw'd ^.^ by uWu me, 
be ^.^ won uWu at last; 
uWu Dissembwe aww x3 youw griefs ÚwÚ and ;;w;; discontents. 
>_> You OwO awe >_> but x3 nyewwy ^-^ pwanted uWu in x3 youw thwonye; 
Lest, >w< then, x3 the >_> peopwe, ÚwÚ and :33 patwicians :3 too, 
>_> Upon :3 a >w< just ;;w;; suwvey OwO take Titus' >_> pawt, 
xDD And UwU so :33 suppwant xDD you fow ingratitude, 
>_< Which ÚwÚ Wome reputes to be :3 a ;;w;; heinyous ^w^ sin, 
;;w;; Yiewd uWu at entweats, ÚwÚ and xDD then wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ awonye: 
I'll find :3 a day to massacwe them all, 
xDD And x3 waze uWu theiw ^w^ faction ÚwÚ and uWu theiw family, 
uWu The UwU cwuew >w< fathew ÚwÚ and :33 his ^-^ twaitowous sons, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom UwU I >_< sued fow x3 my uWu deaw ÚwÚ son's :33 wife; 
xDD And >_< make them ^.^ knyow >_> what UwU 'tis to wet :3 a >_< queen 
>_> Knyeew uWu in x3 the ^w^ stweets ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ beg fow xDD gwace uWu in UwU vain.- 
^.^ Come, come, x3 sweet OwO Empewow; come, Andwonyicus. 
^.^ Take x3 up ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and cheer x3 the >_< heawt 
:33 That dies uWu in UwU tempest of >w< thy angry fwown. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. ^w^ Wise, >w< Titus, OwO wise; x3 my Empress hath pwevaiw'd. 
TITUS. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty ÚwÚ and hew, x3 my wowd; 
;;w;; These wowds, these looks, >_> infuse x3 nyew >w< wife uWu in x3 me. 
TAMORA. >w< Titus, UwU I ^w^ am incorporate uWu in ^w^ Wome, 
^-^ A Roman nyow adopted happiwy, 
xDD And ^w^ must ;;w;; advise x3 the >_> Empewow fow :33 his UwU good. 
This day aww quarrels >_> die, Andronicus; 
xDD And wet >w< it be >_< minye honyouw, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, 
:33 That UwU I uWu have reconcil'd x3 youw ^w^ fwiends ÚwÚ and OwO you. 
For UwU you, Prince ÚwÚ Bassianyus, UwU I uWu have :33 pass'd 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and promise to x3 the >_> Empewow 
:33 That xDD you xDD wiww be ^.^ mowe >_< miwd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twactabwe. 
xDD And feaw >_> nyot, lords- ÚwÚ and UwU you, Lavinia. 
^-^ By x3 my x3 advice, aww ^.^ humbwed on x3 youw uWu knyees, 
>_> You UwU shaww ^w^ ask UwU pawdon of :33 his >_< Majesty. 
WUCIUS. We UwU do, ÚwÚ and vow to heaven ÚwÚ and to :33 his >_> Highnyess 
:33 That >_> what ^.^ we uWu did UwU was ^.^ miwdwy >_< as ^.^ we xDD might, 
UwU Tend'wing UwU ouw OwO sistew's honour ÚwÚ and UwU ouw own. 
OwO MAWCUS. :33 That on >_< minye honour OwO hewe UwU do UwU I pwotest. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. :33 Away, ÚwÚ and tawk x3 nyot; >_> twoubwe >_> us nyo more. 
TAMORA. Nyay, x3 nyay, x3 sweet Empewow, ^.^ we ^w^ must aww be fwiends. 
uWu The ;;w;; Twibunye ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 nyephews ^w^ knyeew fow grace. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot be uWu denyied. ÚwÚ Sweet uWu heawt, wook back. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Marcus, fow >w< thy ^w^ sake, ÚwÚ and >w< thy brother's UwU hewe, 
xDD And uWu at x3 my lovely Tamora's entweats, 
UwU I UwU do :3 wemit these xDD young men's ;;w;; heinyous x3 fauwts. 
;;w;; Stand :33 up. 
Wavinyia, ^w^ though xDD you left ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a UwU chuww, 
UwU I >_> found :3 a fwiend; ÚwÚ and >_< suwe >_< as :33 death UwU I >w< swowe 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ pawt :3 a >w< bachewow from x3 the pwiest. 
^.^ Come, >_> if x3 the uWu Empewow's court ^.^ can >_> feast >w< two bwides, 
>_> You OwO awe x3 my :3 guest, Wavinyia, ÚwÚ and x3 youw fwiends. 
This day UwU shaww be :3 a :3 wuv-day, Tamora. 
TITUS. >_< To-mowwow, ÚwÚ and >w< it uWu pwease x3 youw ;;w;; Majesty 
;;w;; To OwO hunt x3 the ;;w;; panthew ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU hawt with uWu me, 
With >_> hown ÚwÚ and ^.^ hound we'll UwU give x3 youw Gwace OwO bonjouw. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. ^w^ Be >w< it >_> so, >w< Titus, ÚwÚ and OwO gwamewcy UwU too. 
:33 Exeunt. Sound trumpets 




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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^-^ AAWON 

^.^ AAWON. Now cwimbeth Tamora Olympus' ÚwÚ top, 
^.^ Safe x3 out of Fowtunye's shot, ÚwÚ and >_> sits awoft, 
^.^ Secuwe of ^w^ thundew's UwU cwack ow lightning OwO fwash, 
ÚwÚ Advanc'd :33 abuv pawe OwO envy's threat'ning reach. 
;;w;; As when x3 the golden sun sawutes x3 the ^-^ mown, 
^.^ And, xDD having gilt x3 the xDD ocean with :33 his ;;w;; beams, 
:33 Gawwops x3 the ÚwÚ zodiac uWu in :33 his gwistenying :33 coach 
xDD And uvwwooks x3 the >_< highest-peewing ;;w;; hiwws, 
^w^ So Tamora. 
>_> Upon her wit xDD doth ÚwÚ eawthwy honour x3 wait, 
xDD And viwtue ^w^ stoops ÚwÚ and trembles uWu at her fwown. 
Then, ÚwÚ Aawon, awm >w< thy >_< heawt ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fit >w< thy >_< thoughts 
;;w;; To ^-^ mount ÚwÚ awoft with >w< thy ÚwÚ impewiaw ^-^ mistwess, 
xDD And ^-^ mount her ^w^ pitch ÚwÚ whom xDD thou uWu in twiumph wong. 
Hast ÚwÚ pwisonyew x3 hewd, fett'wed uWu in :3 amowous >_> chains, 
xDD And fastew bound to >_> Aawon's OwO chawming eyes 
Than >_> is Prometheus tied to UwU Caucasus. 
UwU Away with :33 swavish UwU weeds ÚwÚ and ;;w;; sewviwe thoughts! 
UwU I xDD wiww be uWu bwight ÚwÚ and shine uWu in uWu peaww ÚwÚ and ^.^ gowd, 
;;w;; To wait ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this nyew-made emperess. 
;;w;; To x3 wait, uWu said >_< I? ;;w;; To >_< wanton with ÚwÚ this queen, 
This xDD goddess, ÚwÚ this >w< Semiwamis, ÚwÚ this nymph, 
This siren :3 that xDD wiww >_> chawm OwO Wome's >_< Satuwnyinye, 
xDD And >_> see :33 his :33 shipwweck ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< commonweaw's. 
ÚwÚ Huwwo! >_> what x3 stowm >_> is :3 this? 

Entew ^w^ CHIWON ÚwÚ and UwU DEMETWIUS, :33 bwaving 

DEMETRIUS. Chiwon, >w< thy years wants ^w^ wit, >w< thy :33 wits wants UwU edge 
xDD And :3 mannyews, to intwude :3 whewe UwU I ^w^ am UwU gwac'd, 
xDD And may, fow ^.^ aught xDD thou knowest, affected >w< be. 
>w< CHIWON. UwU Demetwius, xDD thou dost xDD uvw-ween uWu in aww; 
xDD And UwU so uWu in uWu this, to UwU beaw ;;w;; me down with >w< bwaves. 
'Tis nyot x3 the ^.^ diffewence of :3 a xDD yeaw ow >w< two 
:3 Makes ;;w;; me less >_> gwacious ow uWu thee ^.^ mowe OwO fowtunyate: 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as able ÚwÚ and >_< as ;;w;; fit >_< as xDD thou 
;;w;; To serve ÚwÚ and to OwO desewve x3 my >_< mistwess' >w< gwace; 
xDD And :3 that x3 my xDD swowd ;;w;; upon uWu thee UwU shaww ^.^ appwuv, 
xDD And pwead x3 my passions fow ^.^ Wavinyia's love. 
^.^ AAWON. :3 [Aside] uWu Cwubs, clubs! ;;w;; These ^w^ wuvws xDD wiww nyot >_< keep x3 the 
peace. 
DEMETRIUS. Why, ^-^ boy, awthough UwU ouw :33 mothew, OwO unyadvis'd, 
Gave xDD you :3 a UwU dancing rapier ^.^ by x3 youw side, 
^w^ Awe xDD you UwU so despewate grown to >_< thweat x3 youw friends? 
Go >w< to; uWu have x3 youw UwU wath glued within x3 youw :3 sheath 
Tiww xDD you ^.^ knyow xDD bettew >w< how to handle :3 it. 
>w< CHIWON. Meanwhile, ^w^ siw, with x3 the xDD wittwe :3 skiww UwU I have, 
Full weww shalt xDD thou >_> pewceive >w< how much UwU I OwO dawe. 
DEMETRIUS. Ay, ^-^ boy, gwow OwO ye UwU so brave? ^w^ [They draw] 
^.^ AAWON. [Coming forward] Why, >w< how now, lords! 
^w^ So nyeaw x3 the uWu Empewow's ^w^ pawace dawe OwO ye dwaw 
xDD And ÚwÚ maintain xDD such :3 a ^-^ quawwew openly? 
Full weww UwU I uWu wot x3 the x3 gwound of aww ÚwÚ this OwO gwudge: 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot fow :3 a miwwion of gowd 
uWu The cause :3 wewe ÚwÚ knyown to them >w< it UwU most concerns; 
x3 Nyow ^.^ wouwd x3 youw x3 nyobwe mothew fow much ^.^ mowe 
^w^ Be UwU so ^-^ dishonyouwed uWu in x3 the court of xDD Wome. 
For UwU shame, put :33 up. 
DEMETRIUS. ÚwÚ Nyot I, >w< tiww UwU I uWu have sheath'd 
OwO My rapier uWu in :33 his x3 bosom, ÚwÚ and withal 
Thrust UwU those >_> wepwoachfuw uWu speeches down :33 his ^w^ thwoat 
:33 That ^.^ he hath >w< bweath'd uWu in x3 my x3 dishonyouw hewe. 
>w< CHIWON. For :3 that UwU I ^w^ am pwepaw'd ÚwÚ and full wesowv'd, 
>w< Fouw-spoken xDD cowawd, :3 that ^-^ thund'west with >w< thy ;;w;; tongue, 
xDD And with >w< thy :33 weapon >_< nyothing ^w^ daw'st >_< pewfowm. 
^.^ AAWON. :33 Away, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the gods :3 that warlike Goths :33 adowe, 
This OwO pwetty brabble xDD wiww undo >_> us all. 
Why, wowds, ÚwÚ and think xDD you nyot >w< how uWu dangewous 
^.^ It >_> is to jet ;;w;; upon :3 a UwU pwince's right? 
What, >_> is ;;w;; Wavinyia xDD then :33 become UwU so UwU woose, 
:33 Ow OwO Bassianyus UwU so ^w^ degenyewate, 
:33 That fow her wuv xDD such quarrels OwO may be xDD bwoach'd 
Without controlment, justice, ow revenge? 
Young wowds, bewawe; >w< an >_> shouwd x3 the Empress ^.^ knyow 
This discord's ground, x3 the uWu music ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ pwease. 
>w< CHIWON. UwU I :3 cawe >_> nyot, I, UwU knyew ^.^ she ÚwÚ and aww x3 the wowwd: 
UwU I wuv ;;w;; Wavinyia ^.^ mowe than aww x3 the wowwd. 
DEMETRIUS. Youngling, :3 weawn xDD thou to >_< make x3 some >w< meanyew uWu choice: 
^-^ Wavinya >_> is ^.^ thinye :33 ewdew brother's ^-^ hope. 
^.^ AAWON. Why, OwO awe OwO ye mad, ow ^.^ knyow OwO ye nyot uWu in ÚwÚ Wome 
How ÚwÚ fuwious ÚwÚ and ;;w;; impatient ;;w;; they be, 
xDD And ;;w;; cannyot >w< bwook ^.^ competitows uWu in love? 
UwU I tell UwU you, wowds, xDD you UwU do >_> but :3 pwot x3 youw >w< deaths 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu device. 
>w< CHIWON. ÚwÚ Aawon, :3 a thousand >w< deaths 
Wouwd UwU I UwU pwopose to ;;w;; achieve her ÚwÚ whom UwU I love. 
^.^ AAWON. ;;w;; To ;;w;; achieve xDD hew- ÚwÚ how? 
DEMETRIUS. Why xDD mak'st xDD thou >w< it UwU so >w< stwange? 
:33 She >_> is :3 a ^w^ woman, >_< thewefowe OwO may be OwO woo'd; 
:33 She >_> is :3 a ^w^ woman, >_< thewefowe OwO may be ^w^ won; 
:33 She >_> is Wavinyia, >_< thewefowe ^w^ must be >_> wov'd. 
What, ;;w;; man! ^.^ mowe UwU watew uWu gwideth ^.^ by x3 the >_> miww 
Than ^-^ wots x3 the x3 miwwew OwO of; ÚwÚ and ^w^ easy >w< it >_> is 
Of :3 a :3 cut ^-^ woaf to ^.^ steaw :3 a x3 shive, ^.^ we :33 knyow. 
;;w;; Though OwO Bassianyus be x3 the uWu Empewow's brother, 
uWu Bettew than ^.^ he uWu have wown Vuwcan's ^.^ badge. 
^.^ AAWON. :3 [Aside] Ay, ÚwÚ and >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as uWu Satuwnyinyus may. 
DEMETRIUS. UwU Then >w< why >_> shouwd ^.^ he despair :3 that xDD knyows to court >w< it 
With wowds, >w< faiw looks, ÚwÚ and xDD wibewawity? 
What, x3 hast nyot xDD thou full often >w< stwuck :3 a ^w^ doe, 
xDD And :3 bownye her ;;w;; cweanwy ^.^ by x3 the keepew's xDD nyose? 
^.^ AAWON. Why, >w< then, >w< it ;;w;; seems x3 some xDD cewtain snatch ow UwU so 
Wouwd serve x3 youw tuwns. 
>w< CHIWON. Ay, UwU so x3 the turn :3 wewe ^w^ sewved. 
DEMETRIUS. ÚwÚ Aawon, xDD thou x3 hast ;;w;; hit :3 it. 
^.^ AAWON. Wouwd xDD you xDD had ;;w;; hit >w< it ;;w;; too! 
UwU Then >_> shouwd nyot ^.^ we be ^.^ tiw'd with ÚwÚ this ado. 
Why, x3 hawk :3 ye, x3 hawk ;;w;; ye! ÚwÚ and OwO awe xDD you xDD such foows 
;;w;; To square fow :3 this? Wouwd >w< it ^-^ offend UwU you, >w< then, 
:33 That both >_> shouwd :33 speed? 
>w< CHIWON. Faith, nyot x3 me. 
DEMETRIUS. x3 Nyow uWu me, UwU so UwU I :3 wewe onye. 
^.^ AAWON. For UwU shame, be OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and ^w^ join fow :3 that xDD you ^-^ jaw. 
'Tis UwU powicy ÚwÚ and ^w^ stwatagem ^w^ must UwU do 
:33 That xDD you >_< affect; ÚwÚ and UwU so ^w^ must xDD you wesowve 
:33 That >_> what xDD you ;;w;; cannyot >_< as xDD you ^.^ wouwd xDD achieve, 
>_> You ^w^ must ^.^ pewfowce x3 accompwish >_< as xDD you may. 
^.^ Take ÚwÚ this of ;;w;; me: UwU Wucwece UwU was nyot ^.^ mowe >w< chaste 
Than ÚwÚ this Wavinyia, :3 Bassianyus' love. 
^-^ A speediew course than x3 wing'wing wanguishment 
:3 Must ^.^ we pursue, ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have >_> found x3 the ;;w;; path. 
OwO My wowds, :3 a solemn :33 hunting >_> is uWu in xDD hand; 
>_> Thewe xDD wiww x3 the lovely Roman ^.^ wadies >w< twoop; 
uWu The >_< fowest >w< wawks OwO awe uWu wide ÚwÚ and >_< spacious, 
xDD And UwU many xDD unfwequented plots there OwO awe 
>w< Fitted ^.^ by uWu kind fow xDD wape ÚwÚ and x3 viwwainy. 
Single xDD you uWu thithew xDD then ÚwÚ this UwU dainty ^w^ doe, 
xDD And strike her ^.^ home ^.^ by force >_> if nyot ^.^ by ÚwÚ wowds. 
This :3 way, ow nyot uWu at all, stand xDD you uWu in ^-^ hope. 
^.^ Come, come, UwU ouw >w< Empwess, with her uWu sacwed wit 
;;w;; To xDD viwwainy ÚwÚ and UwU vengeance xDD consecwate, 
Will ^.^ we >w< acquaint with aww >_> what ^.^ we OwO intend; 
xDD And ^.^ she UwU shaww file UwU ouw ^-^ enginyes with advice 
:33 That xDD wiww nyot suffew xDD you to square ^w^ youwsewves, 
OwO But to x3 youw uWu wishes' height advance xDD you xDD both. 
uWu The uWu Empewow's court >_> is ^.^ wike x3 the ;;w;; house of uWu Fame, 
uWu The ^w^ pawace full of tongues, of ^w^ eyes, ÚwÚ and ears; 
uWu The :33 woods OwO awe >_< wuthwess, :3 dweadfuw, deaf, ÚwÚ and duww. 
>_> Thewe speak ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ stwike, >_< bwave boys, ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 youw turns; 
>_> Thewe serve x3 youw x3 wust, ÚwÚ shadowed from heaven's >_< eye, 
xDD And ^w^ wevew uWu in ^.^ Wavinyia's treasury. 
>w< CHIWON. x3 Thy counsew, lad, >_< smewws of nyo >_> cowawdice. 
DEMETRIUS. xDD Sit ;;w;; fas xDD aut UwU nyefas, >w< tiww UwU I find x3 the stweam 
;;w;; To :3 coow ÚwÚ this ^.^ heat, :3 a >_> chawm to ÚwÚ cawm these fits, 
OwO Pew Styga, x3 pew xDD manyes vehor. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A >_< fowest nyeaw ÚwÚ Wome 

Entew TITUS ANDRONICUS, ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< thwee sons, LUCIUS, QUINTUS, >w< MAWTIUS, 
x3 making :3 a noise with >_< hounds ÚwÚ and :3 howns; ÚwÚ and >_> MAWCUS 

TITUS. uWu The OwO hunt >_> is up, x3 the ;;w;; mown >_> is uWu bwight ÚwÚ and ^w^ gwey, 
uWu The fields OwO awe fragrant, ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 woods OwO awe x3 gween. 
xDD Uncoupwe UwU hewe, ÚwÚ and wet >_> us >_< make :3 a bay, 
xDD And wake x3 the >_> Empewow ÚwÚ and :33 his lovely :3 bwide, 
xDD And wouse x3 the >_< Pwince, ÚwÚ and OwO wing :3 a >_< huntew's x3 peaw, 
:33 That aww x3 the court OwO may echo with x3 the noise. 
^-^ Sons, wet >w< it be x3 youw charge, >_< as >w< it >_> is >_> ouws, 
;;w;; To >_< attend x3 the uWu Empewow's ÚwÚ pewson uWu cawefuwwy. 
UwU I uWu have :33 been troubled uWu in x3 my :33 sweep ÚwÚ this night, 
OwO But dawning day x3 nyew uWu comfowt hath ^-^ inspiw'd. 

:3 Hewe :3 a cwy of uWu hounds, ÚwÚ and wind >w< howns uWu in :3 a peal. 
UwU Then enter >w< SATUWNyINyUS, uWu TAMOWA, xDD BASSIANyUS ^.^ WAVINyIA, 
ÚwÚ CHIWON, UwU DEMETWIUS, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^.^ attendants 
xDD Many ÚwÚ good ^.^ mowwows to x3 youw Majesty! 
uWu Madam, to xDD you >_< as UwU many ÚwÚ and >_< as >w< good! 
UwU I promised x3 youw Gwace :3 a >_< huntew's peal. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. xDD And xDD you uWu have wung >w< it :3 wustiwy, x3 my lords- 
xDD Somewhat ^w^ too early fow new-married wadies. 
BASSIANyUS. Wavinyia, >w< how >_> say you? 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. UwU I >_> say ^.^ nyo; 
UwU I uWu have :33 been >_< bwoad awake >w< two >_> houws ÚwÚ and more. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. :3 Come on >w< then, UwU howse ÚwÚ and chariots wet >_> us have, 
xDD And to UwU ouw ;;w;; spowt. :33 [To TAMORA] uWu Madam, nyow UwU shaww OwO ye >_> see 
Our Roman ^-^ hunting. 
OwO MAWCUS. UwU I uWu have xDD dogs, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Will wouse x3 the OwO pwoudest ;;w;; panthew uWu in x3 the uWu chase, 
xDD And x3 cwimb x3 the ÚwÚ highest ^w^ pwomontowy >_> top. 
TITUS. xDD And UwU I uWu have UwU howse xDD wiww ;;w;; fowwow :3 whewe x3 the game 
:3 Makes :3 way, ÚwÚ and >w< wun ^.^ wike x3 swawwows ^-^ o'ew x3 the plain. 
DEMETRIUS. Chiwon, ^.^ we OwO hunt >_> nyot, :33 we, with UwU howse nor uWu hound, 
OwO But UwU hope to pluck :3 a UwU dainty UwU doe to :33 gwound. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A wonyewy ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< fowest 

Entew ^-^ AAWON ^-^ awonye, with :3 a ^-^ bag of gowd 

^.^ AAWON. >w< He :3 that xDD had wit ^.^ wouwd think :3 that UwU I xDD had nyonye, 
;;w;; To ^.^ buwy UwU so much gowd :33 undew :3 a twee 
xDD And >_< nyevew ÚwÚ aftew to x3 inhewit :3 it. 
Let ^.^ him :3 that ^w^ thinks of ;;w;; me UwU so xDD abjectwy 
xDD Knyow :3 that ÚwÚ this gowd ^w^ must ^-^ coin :3 a uWu stwatagem, 
>_< Which, >_> cunnyingwy ^.^ effected, xDD wiww x3 beget 
^-^ A xDD vewy :3 excewwent ^.^ piece of x3 viwwainy. 
xDD And UwU so wepose, x3 sweet ^.^ gowd, fow uWu theiw xDD unwest 
OwO [Hides x3 the gold] 
:33 That uWu have uWu theiw :3 awms x3 out of x3 the Empress' chest. 

Entew :3 TAMOWA ^-^ awonye, to x3 the Moor 

TAMORA. OwO My lovely ÚwÚ Aawon, ^-^ whewefowe wook'st xDD thou >_> sad 
x3 When evewything does >_< make :3 a >w< gweefuw >_< boast? 
uWu The xDD biwds ^w^ chant x3 mewody on every bush; 
uWu The snakes >_< wie UwU wowwed uWu in x3 the cheerful sun; 
uWu The green >w< weaves ^-^ quivew with x3 the coowing wind 
xDD And >_< make :3 a chequew'd :3 shadow on x3 the ^.^ gwound; 
;;w;; Undew uWu theiw x3 sweet shade, ÚwÚ Aawon, wet >_> us ^.^ sit, 
xDD And OwO whiwe x3 the x3 babbwing echo :3 mocks x3 the uWu hounds, 
OwO Wepwying shrilly to x3 the UwU weww-tun'd UwU howns, 
;;w;; As >_> if :3 a :3 doubwe OwO hunt :3 wewe heard uWu at ^w^ once, 
Let >_> us sit down ÚwÚ and mark uWu theiw yewwowing noise; 
^.^ And- ÚwÚ aftew OwO confwict xDD such >_< as UwU was ^-^ suppos'd 
uWu The >w< wand'wing >_> pwince ÚwÚ and ^w^ Dido >_> once enjoyed, 
x3 When with :3 a ^w^ happy x3 stowm ;;w;; they :3 wewe suwpwis'd, 
xDD And >_> cuwtain'd with :3 a counsew-keeping cave- 
We may, >_< each :3 wweathed uWu in x3 the ;;w;; othew's awms, 
Our ^w^ pastimes :33 donye, possess :3 a golden >_> swumbew, 
Whiwes >_< hounds ÚwÚ and >w< howns ÚwÚ and x3 sweet melodious xDD biwds 
^w^ Be >w< unto >_> us >_< as >_> is :3 a nurse's ÚwÚ song 
Of :3 wuwwaby to ;;w;; bwing her >w< babe asleep. 
^.^ AAWON. uWu Madam, ^w^ though :3 Venyus >_< guvwn x3 youw desires, 
x3 Satuwn >_> is x3 dominyatow uvw ^w^ minye. 
>_> What OwO signyifies x3 my deadwy-standing >_< eye, 
OwO My :3 siwence ÚwÚ and x3 my cwoudy UwU mewanchowy, 
OwO My fweece of :3 woowwy >_< haiw :3 that nyow uncuwws 
Even >_< as >w< an >_> addew when ^.^ she xDD doth unwoww 
;;w;; To UwU do x3 some uWu fataw ^w^ execution? 
:3 Nyo, UwU madam, these OwO awe nyo ^w^ venyeweaw signs. 
>_< Vengeance >_> is uWu in x3 my uWu heawt, :33 death uWu in x3 my uWu hand, 
Blood ÚwÚ and xDD wevenge OwO awe uWu hammewing uWu in x3 my >_> head. 
Hawk, :33 Tamowa, x3 the x3 empwess of x3 my x3 souw, 
>_< Which >_< nyevew hopes ^.^ mowe heaven than UwU wests uWu in ;;w;; thee- 
This >_> is x3 the day of >_< doom fow ;;w;; Bassianyus; 
ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ Phiwomew ^w^ must wose her >_> tongue uWu to-day, 
x3 Thy xDD sons >_< make pillage of her >_> chastity, 
xDD And >_< wash uWu theiw ^.^ hands uWu in :3 Bassianyus' blood. 
OwO Seest xDD thou ÚwÚ this wettew? ^.^ Take >w< it up, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And UwU give x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ this uWu fataw-pwotted ÚwÚ scwoww. 
Now ;;w;; question ;;w;; me nyo mowe; ^.^ we OwO awe :33 espied. 
:3 Hewe x3 comes :3 a parcel of UwU ouw hopeful >w< booty, 
>_< Which dweads nyot yet uWu theiw lives' ^.^ destwuction. 

Entew xDD BASSIANyUS ÚwÚ and OwO WAVINyIA 

TAMORA. xDD Ah, x3 my x3 sweet uWu Moow, ^w^ sweetew to ;;w;; me than wife! 
^.^ AAWON. No >_> mowe, great ^-^ Empwess: OwO Bassianyus ^w^ comes. 
^w^ Be OwO cwoss with him; ÚwÚ and I'll OwO go :3 fetch >w< thy xDD sons 
;;w;; To back >w< thy quarrels, whatsoe'er ;;w;; they >w< be. uWu Exit 
BASSIANyUS. Who uWu have ^.^ we hewe? OwO Wome's royal Emperess, 
Unfuwnyish'd of her weww-beseeming troop? 
:33 Ow >_> is >w< it OwO Dian, UwU habited ^.^ wike hew, 
Who hath ^-^ abandonyed her >w< howy ^.^ gwuvs 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 the general :33 hunting uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< fowest? 
TAMORA. OwO Saucy ;;w;; contwowwew of x3 my >_> pwivate :3 steps! 
xDD Had UwU I x3 the pow'w :3 that x3 some >_> say uWu Dian :33 had, 
x3 Thy ^.^ tempwes >_> shouwd be ^-^ pwanted presently 
With UwU howns, >_< as UwU was ;;w;; Actaeon's; ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< hounds 
Should UwU dwive ;;w;; upon >w< thy nyew-twansfowmed limbs, 
>w< Unmannyewwy x3 intwudew >_< as xDD thou art! 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. ;;w;; Undew x3 youw patience, ^-^ gentwe Emperess, 
'Tis xDD thought xDD you uWu have :3 a xDD goodwy ^w^ gift uWu in horning, 
xDD And to be xDD doubted :3 that x3 youw Moor ÚwÚ and xDD you 
^w^ Awe singwed fowth to >_> twy >w< thy >w< expewiments. 
Juv OwO shiewd x3 youw :33 husband from :33 his >_< hounds to-day! 
'Tis pity ;;w;; they >_> shouwd OwO take ^.^ him fow :3 a ÚwÚ stag. 
BASSIANyUS. :3 Bewieve uWu me, :3 Queen, x3 youw swarth Cimmewian 
^-^ Doth >_< make x3 youw honour of :33 his body's >_< hue, 
>_< Spotted, xDD detested, ÚwÚ and abominable. 
Why OwO awe xDD you sequest'red from aww x3 youw twain, 
>_< Dismounted from x3 youw snow-white xDD goodwy >w< steed, 
xDD And ^-^ wand'wed ÚwÚ hithew to >w< an uWu obscuwe >_> pwot, 
>_> Accompanyied >_> but with :3 a barbarous uWu Moow, 
;;w;; If fouw ^.^ desiwe xDD had nyot :3 conducted you? 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. ^.^ And, ^.^ being ^-^ intewcepted uWu in x3 youw sport, 
UwU Gweat reason :3 that x3 my x3 nyobwe ;;w;; wowd be :33 wated 
For ^.^ saucinyess. UwU I pray xDD you wet >_> us hence, 
xDD And wet her joy her xDD waven-cowouwed love; 
This :3 vawwey ^w^ fits x3 the OwO puwpose passing well. 
BASSIANyUS. uWu The ^w^ King x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew UwU shaww uWu have ÚwÚ nyotice of UwU this. 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. Ay, fow these slips uWu have UwU made ^.^ him noted wong. 
^-^ Good OwO king, to be UwU so >w< mightiwy ;;w;; abused! 
TAMORA. Why, UwU I uWu have uWu patience to OwO enduwe aww UwU this. 

Entew ^w^ CHIWON ÚwÚ and :3 DEMETWIUS 

DEMETRIUS. How now, uWu deaw sovereign, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw >_> gwacious mothew! 
Why xDD doth x3 youw >_> Highnyess wook UwU so pawe ÚwÚ and uWu wan? 
TAMORA. :3 Have UwU I nyot weason, think UwU you, to wook pale? 
;;w;; These >w< two uWu have >_> 'ticed ;;w;; me ÚwÚ hithew to ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. 
^-^ A ^-^ bawwen :3 detested vale xDD you >_> see >w< it ^w^ is: 
uWu The trees, ^w^ though summer, yet ^.^ fowwown ÚwÚ and lean, 
>_< Ovewcome with OwO moss ÚwÚ and xDD bawefuw >w< mistwetoe; 
:3 Hewe >_< nyevew uWu shinyes x3 the sun; OwO hewe >_< nyothing breeds, 
OwO Unwess x3 the xDD nyightwy owl ow uWu fataw raven. 
xDD And when ;;w;; they ^w^ show'd ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this ;;w;; abhowwed pit, 
^-^ They told uWu me, UwU hewe, uWu at >_< dead time of x3 the night, 
^-^ A thousand UwU fiends, :3 a thousand OwO hissing snyakes, 
uWu Ten thousand xDD swewwing toads, >_< as UwU many >w< uwchins, 
Wouwd >_< make xDD such x3 feawfuw ÚwÚ and ^-^ confused x3 cwies 
;;w;; As xDD any >w< mowtaw >w< body hearing >w< it 
Should ^w^ stwaight faww ^-^ mad ow >_> ewse ^-^ die ÚwÚ suddenwy. 
No :33 soonyew xDD had ;;w;; they told ÚwÚ this hewwish xDD tawe 
OwO But ^w^ stwaight ;;w;; they told ;;w;; me ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd bind ;;w;; me OwO hewe 
uWu Unto x3 the >w< body of :3 a ÚwÚ dismaw OwO yew, 
xDD And OwO weave ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ this >w< misewabwe death. 
xDD And xDD then ;;w;; they ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me fouw aduwtewess, 
Lascivious OwO Goth, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the bittewest terms 
:33 That OwO evew ear uWu did hear to xDD such :33 effect; 
xDD And xDD had xDD you nyot ^.^ by wondwous :3 fowtunye come, 
This UwU vengeance on ;;w;; me xDD had ;;w;; they ^-^ executed. 
xDD Wevenge :33 it, >_< as xDD you wuv x3 youw ;;w;; mothew's :3 wife, 
:33 Ow be OwO ye nyot henceforth ^w^ caww'd x3 my >_< chiwdwen. 
DEMETRIUS. This >_> is :3 a >_> witnyess :3 that UwU I ^w^ am >w< thy OwO son. 
[Stabs :33 BASSIANyUS] 
>w< CHIWON. xDD And ÚwÚ this fow uWu me, >w< stwuck ^.^ home to x3 show x3 my :33 stwength. 
[Also stabs] 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. Ay, come, Semiramis- x3 nyay, barbarous :33 Tamowa, 
For nyo xDD nyame ^w^ fits >w< thy ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> but >w< thy :33 own! 
TAMORA. Give ;;w;; me x3 the poniard; xDD you UwU shaww knyow, x3 my boys, 
uWu Youw ;;w;; mothew's uWu hand UwU shaww >w< wight x3 youw ;;w;; mothew's wrong. 
DEMETRIUS. Stay, UwU madam, OwO hewe >_> is ^.^ mowe ^-^ bewongs to >w< hew; 
First ^w^ thwash x3 the corn, xDD then ÚwÚ aftew buwn x3 the stwaw. 
This uWu minyion :33 stood ;;w;; upon her >_> chastity, 
>_> Upon her >w< nyuptiaw ^w^ vow, her OwO woyawty, 
xDD And with :3 that painted UwU hope >_> bwaves x3 youw OwO mightinyess; 
xDD And UwU shaww ^.^ she carry ÚwÚ this >w< unto her gwave? 
>w< CHIWON. ^-^ An >_> if ^.^ she UwU do, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe >w< an :33 eunyuch. 
Drag >w< hence her :33 husband to x3 some secret :3 howe, 
xDD And >_< make :33 his >_< dead UwU twunk pillow to UwU ouw xDD wust. 
TAMORA. OwO But when OwO ye uWu have x3 the honey ^.^ we >_> desiwe, 
Let nyot ÚwÚ this uWu wasp :3 outwive, >_> us both to uWu sting. 
>w< CHIWON. UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, UwU madam, ^.^ we xDD wiww >_< make :3 that >_> suwe. 
^.^ Come, ^-^ mistwess, nyow ^.^ pewfowce ^.^ we xDD wiww ^.^ enjoy 
:33 That nyice-pwesewved honesty of x3 youws. 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. x3 O Tamora! xDD thou beawest :3 a xDD woman's ÚwÚ face- 
TAMORA. UwU I xDD wiww nyot hear her speak; OwO away with >_> hew! 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. ÚwÚ Sweet wowds, entweat her hear ;;w;; me >_> but :3 a OwO wowd. 
DEMETRIUS. uWu Wisten, >w< faiw :3 madam: wet >w< it be x3 youw :3 gwowy 
;;w;; To >_> see her teaws; >_> but be x3 youw >_< heawt to them 
;;w;; As unrelenting OwO fwint to ^.^ dwops of >_< wain. 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. x3 When uWu did x3 the ;;w;; tigew's xDD young ^-^ onyes >_< teach x3 the dam? 
>_< O, UwU do nyot :3 weawn her UwU wwath- ^.^ she ÚwÚ taught >w< it ÚwÚ thee; 
uWu The milk xDD thou OwO suck'dst from her uWu did turn to ;;w;; mawbwe, 
Even uWu at >w< thy :33 teat xDD thou >w< hadst >w< thy tywanny. 
ÚwÚ Yet every mothew breeds nyot xDD sons OwO awike: 
:33 [To CHIRON] Do xDD thou entweat her x3 show :3 a xDD woman's >_> pity. 
>w< CHIWON. What, wouldst xDD thou uWu have ;;w;; me ^-^ pwuv mysewf :3 a bastawd? 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. 'Tis ^-^ twue, x3 the >_> waven xDD doth nyot x3 hatch :3 a lark. 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu have UwU I heawd- >_< O, couwd UwU I find >w< it nyow!- 
uWu The wion, x3 mov'd with pity, uWu did OwO enduwe 
;;w;; To uWu have :33 his princely ÚwÚ paws x3 paw'd aww xDD away. 
;;w;; Some >_> say :3 that wavens foster ^.^ fowwown chiwdwen, 
uWu The whiwst uWu theiw UwU own xDD biwds :33 famish uWu in uWu theiw nests; 
>_< O, be to uWu me, ^w^ though >w< thy x3 hawd >_< heawt >_> say no, 
Nyothing UwU so ;;w;; kind, >_> but ^-^ something OwO pitifuw! 
TAMORA. UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what >w< it uWu means; OwO away with >_> hew! 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. >_< O, wet ;;w;; me >_< teach uWu thee! For x3 my father's ^w^ sake, 
:33 That uWu gave uWu thee >w< wife when weww ^.^ he ^w^ might uWu have :3 swain ÚwÚ thee, 
^w^ Be nyot UwU obduwate, open >w< thy deaf ears. 
TAMORA. UwU Hadst xDD thou uWu in ÚwÚ pewson ^w^ nye'ew uWu offended uWu me, 
Even fow :33 his ÚwÚ sake ^w^ am UwU I pitiwess. 
OwO Wemembew, boys, UwU I :3 pouw'd fowth tears uWu in :33 vain 
;;w;; To :3 save x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew from x3 the >_> sacwifice; 
OwO But >_< fiewce Andwonyicus ^.^ wouwd nyot wewent. 
Therefore OwO away with hew, ÚwÚ and use her >_< as xDD you :33 wiww; 
uWu The xDD wowse to her x3 the xDD bettew :3 wov'd of x3 me. 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. x3 O :33 Tamowa, be ^w^ caww'd :3 a ^-^ gentwe queen, 
xDD And with ^.^ thinye UwU own ^.^ hands OwO kiww ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ pwace! 
For UwU 'tis nyot >w< wife :3 that UwU I uWu have begg'd UwU so xDD wong; 
OwO Poow UwU I UwU was :3 swain when OwO Bassianyus ÚwÚ died. 
TAMORA. >_> What ÚwÚ beg'st UwU thou, ^w^ then? ^w^ Fond ^w^ woman, wet ;;w;; me ÚwÚ go. 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. 'Tis xDD pwesent :33 death UwU I :33 beg; ÚwÚ and one ^.^ thing >_> mowe, 
:33 That UwU womanhood denyies x3 my >_> tongue to tell: 
>_< O, >_< keep ;;w;; me from uWu theiw xDD wowse than UwU kiwwing x3 wust, 
xDD And tumble ;;w;; me x3 into x3 some woathsome pit, 
Whewe >_< nyevew :33 man's ^w^ eye OwO may behowd x3 my >w< body; 
Do uWu this, ÚwÚ and be :3 a x3 chawitabwe murderer. 
TAMORA. ^w^ So >_> shouwd UwU I rob x3 my x3 sweet xDD sons of uWu theiw >w< fee; 
:3 Nyo, wet them satisfy uWu theiw lust on thee. 
DEMETRIUS. >_> Away! fow xDD thou x3 hast OwO stay'd >_> us OwO hewe ^w^ too wong. 
;;w;; WAVINyIA. No UwU gwace? nyo womanhood? xDD Ah, OwO beastwy x3 cweatuwe, 
uWu The uWu bwot ÚwÚ and ;;w;; enyemy to UwU ouw general xDD nyame! 
>w< Confusion ;;w;; faww- 
>w< CHIWON. Nyay, xDD then I'll ÚwÚ stop x3 youw xDD mouth. Bring xDD thou her husband. 
This >_> is x3 the x3 howe :3 whewe :3 Aawon bid >_> us hide ^.^ him. 

:3 DEMETWIUS ^w^ thwows x3 the >w< body 
of xDD BASSIANyUS x3 into x3 the ^-^ pit; xDD then UwU exeunt 
:3 DEMETWIUS ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ CHIWON, dwagging x3 off OwO WAVINyIA 

TAMORA. UwU Faweweww, x3 my sons; >_> see :3 that xDD you >_< make her >_> suwe. 
Nye'ew wet x3 my >_< heawt ^.^ knyow ^.^ mewwy cheer ÚwÚ indeed 
Tiww aww x3 the Andronici be UwU made xDD away. 
Now xDD wiww UwU I >w< hence to >_> seek x3 my lovely uWu Moow, 
xDD And wet x3 my ^-^ spweenfuw xDD sons ÚwÚ this twuww deflower. uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ AAWON, with >w< two 
of ^.^ TITUS' sons, x3 QUINTUS ÚwÚ and :33 MAWTIUS 

^.^ AAWON. :3 Come ;;w;; on, x3 my wowds, x3 the xDD bettew :33 foot befowe; 
UwU Stwaight xDD wiww UwU I ;;w;; bwing xDD you to x3 the woathsome pit 
Whewe UwU I ;;w;; espied x3 the ;;w;; panthew ÚwÚ fast asleep. 
^w^ QUINTUS. OwO My ^.^ sight >_> is xDD vewy xDD duww, whate'er >w< it >_< bodes. 
MAWTIUS. xDD And >_> minye, UwU I promise uWu you; :3 wewe >w< it nyot fow UwU shame, 
Weww couwd UwU I OwO weave UwU ouw spowt to :33 sweep OwO awhiwe. 
^.^ [Fawws x3 into x3 the >w< pit] 
^w^ QUINTUS. What, awt xDD thou ;;w;; fawwen? >_> What >_> subtwe x3 howe >_> is uWu this, 
>_< Whose xDD mouth >_> is covered with ^-^ wude-gwowing bwiews, 
>_> Upon x3 whose >w< weaves OwO awe ^.^ dwops of nyew-shed :3 bwood 
;;w;; As >w< fwesh >_< as mownying :33 dew uWu distiww'd on ^.^ fwowews? 
^-^ A xDD vewy uWu fataw :33 pwace >w< it ;;w;; seems to x3 me. 
ÚwÚ Speak, brother, x3 hast xDD thou ÚwÚ huwt uWu thee with x3 the :3 faww? 
MAWTIUS. x3 O brother, with x3 the dismal'st :33 object ÚwÚ huwt 
:33 That OwO evew ^w^ eye with ^.^ sight UwU made >_< heawt wament! 
^.^ AAWON. :3 [Aside] Now xDD wiww UwU I :3 fetch x3 the ^w^ King to find them UwU hewe, 
:33 That ^.^ he theweby OwO may uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ wikewy guess 
How these :3 wewe ;;w;; they :3 that UwU made OwO away :33 his ^-^ bwothew. uWu Exit 
MAWTIUS. Why dost nyot uWu comfowt uWu me, ÚwÚ and OwO hewp ;;w;; me x3 out 
Fwom ÚwÚ this unhallow'd ÚwÚ and blood-stained howe? 
^w^ QUINTUS. UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwpwised with >w< an >_< uncouth x3 feaw; 
^-^ A chilling UwU sweat o'er-runs x3 my uWu twembwing ^.^ joints; 
OwO My >_< heawt x3 suspects ^.^ mowe than >_< minye ^w^ eye ^.^ can ^-^ see. 
MAWTIUS. ;;w;; To ^-^ pwuv xDD thou x3 hast :3 a true >_> divinying uWu heawt, 
:3 Aawon ÚwÚ and xDD thou wook down x3 into ÚwÚ this ^.^ den, 
xDD And >_> see :3 a x3 feawfuw ^.^ sight of :3 bwood ÚwÚ and death. 
^w^ QUINTUS. :3 Aawon >_> is >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and x3 my compassionate >_< heawt 
Will nyot >_< pewmit >_< minye eyes >_> once to behowd 
uWu The ^.^ thing ^.^ wheweat >w< it trembles ^.^ by surmise; 
>_< O, tell ;;w;; me who >w< it ;;w;; is, fow ^w^ nye'ew >w< tiww nyow 
Was UwU I :3 a chiwd to feaw UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot what. 
MAWTIUS. Lord OwO Bassianyus wies xDD beway'd uWu in bwood, 
All on :3 a >w< heap, ^.^ wike to :3 a swaughtewed lamb, 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this xDD detested, >_> dawk, xDD bwood-dwinking OwO pit. 
^w^ QUINTUS. ;;w;; If >w< it be >_> dawk, >w< how dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis uWu he? 
MAWTIUS. >_> Upon :33 his bwoody finger ^.^ he xDD doth ^-^ weaw 
^-^ A >_< pwecious OwO wing :3 that lightens aww ÚwÚ this :3 howe, 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike :3 a xDD tapew uWu in x3 some ;;w;; monyument, 
^-^ Doth shine ;;w;; upon x3 the >_< dead :33 man's uWu eawthy cheeks, 
xDD And >_< shows x3 the ^-^ wagged entwaiws of ÚwÚ this ^-^ pit; 
^w^ So pawe uWu did shine x3 the ;;w;; moon on uWu Pywamus 
x3 When ^.^ he ^.^ by >w< nyight uWu way >w< bath'd uWu in >_< maiden blood. 
x3 O brother, OwO hewp ;;w;; me with >w< thy xDD fainting :33 hand- 
;;w;; If feaw hath UwU made uWu thee :33 faint, >_< as ;;w;; me >w< it >_> hath- 
UwU Out of ÚwÚ this UwU feww ^.^ devouwing ^-^ weceptacwe, 
;;w;; As hateful >_< as ;;w;; Cocytus' ^w^ misty xDD mouth. 
^w^ QUINTUS. ^.^ Weach ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, :3 that UwU I OwO may OwO hewp uWu thee ^.^ out, 
:3 Ow, ^-^ wanting ÚwÚ stwength to UwU do uWu thee UwU so much UwU good, 
UwU I OwO may be ^w^ pwuck'd x3 into x3 the swallowing womb 
Of ÚwÚ this >_> deep pit, poor :3 Bassianyus' x3 gwave. 
UwU I uWu have nyo ÚwÚ stwength to pluck uWu thee to x3 the :33 bwink. 
MAWTIUS. x3 Nyow UwU I nyo ÚwÚ stwength to x3 cwimb ^-^ without >w< thy ;;w;; hewp. 
^w^ QUINTUS. x3 Thy uWu hand >_> once mowe; UwU I xDD wiww nyot ;;w;; woose OwO again, 
Tiww xDD thou awt OwO hewe awoft, ow UwU I below. 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot come to me- UwU I come to thee. ^.^ [Fawws in] 

Entew x3 the EMPEROR ÚwÚ and ^-^ AAWON x3 the Moor 

^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. ;;w;; Awong with me! I'll >_> see >_> what x3 howe >_> is UwU hewe, 
xDD And >_> what ^.^ he >_> is :3 that nyow >_> is uWu weapt x3 into :3 it. 
Say, who awt xDD thou :3 that :3 watewy :33 didst descend 
^.^ Into ÚwÚ this :33 gaping OwO howwow of x3 the ^w^ eawth? 
MAWTIUS. uWu The xDD unhappy xDD sons of ;;w;; owd Andronicus, 
Bwought ÚwÚ hithew uWu in :3 a UwU most unlucky ^-^ houw, 
;;w;; To find >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew OwO Bassianyus uWu dead. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew ÚwÚ dead! UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou dost >_> but OwO jest: 
>w< He ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu wady both OwO awe uWu at x3 the uWu wodge 
>_> Upon x3 the ^.^ nyowth x3 side of ÚwÚ this >_> pweasant ^-^ chase; 
'Tis nyot >w< an >_> houw xDD since UwU I left them :33 thewe. 
MAWTIUS. We ^.^ knyow nyot :3 whewe xDD you left them aww ^.^ awive; 
But, x3 out ^.^ awas! OwO hewe uWu have ^.^ we >_> found ^.^ him uWu dead. 

^.^ We-entew uWu TAMOWA, with 
>w< attendants; TITUS ^-^ ANDWONyICUS ÚwÚ and ^.^ Wucius 

TAMORA. Whewe >_> is x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the >_> King? 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Here, >_> Tamowa; ^w^ though >w< gwiev'd with UwU kiwwing ÚwÚ gwief. 
TAMORA. Whewe >_> is >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew >w< Bassianyus? 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Now to x3 the :3 bottom dost xDD thou ^-^ seawch x3 my ^-^ wound; 
OwO Poow OwO Bassianyus OwO hewe wies OwO muwdewed. 
TAMORA. UwU Then aww ^w^ too wate UwU I ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ this uWu fataw ;;w;; wwit, 
uWu The complot of ÚwÚ this timewess :3 twagedy; 
xDD And wonder OwO gweatwy :3 that :33 man's OwO face ^.^ can ^w^ fowd 
^w^ In pweasing ^-^ smiwes xDD such murderous tywanny. 
x3 [She giveth ;;w;; SATUWNyINyE :3 a >_> wettew] 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. [Weads] >_< 'An >_> if ^.^ we ;;w;; miss to :3 meet ^.^ him handsomely, 
ÚwÚ Sweet ^w^ huntsman- OwO Bassianyus UwU 'tis ^.^ we >_< mean- 
Do xDD thou UwU so much >_< as dig x3 the :3 gwave fow ^.^ him. 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st UwU ouw meanying. Wook fow >w< thy wewawd 
>_> Among x3 the UwU nyettwes uWu at x3 the >w< ewdew-twee 
>_< Which >_< uvwshades x3 the xDD mouth of :3 that same pit 
Whewe ^.^ we xDD decweed to ^.^ buwy ;;w;; Bassianyus. 
Do uWu this, ÚwÚ and puwchase >_> us >w< thy :3 wasting ;;w;; fwiends.' 
x3 O Tamora! UwU was OwO evew heard x3 the ^.^ wike? 
This >_> is x3 the pit ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this x3 the elder-tree. 
x3 Wook, sirs, >_> if xDD you ^.^ can find x3 the >w< huntsman x3 out 
:33 That >_> shouwd uWu have murdered OwO Bassianyus hewe. 
^.^ AAWON. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, OwO hewe >_> is x3 the ^-^ bag of ;;w;; gowd. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. :33 [To ÚwÚ TITUS] Two of >w< thy UwU whewps, UwU feww x3 cuws of bwoody 
;;w;; kind, 
:3 Have OwO hewe >_> beweft x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew of :33 his life. 
uWu Siws, drag them from x3 the pit >w< unto x3 the prison; 
>_> Thewe wet them bide ÚwÚ untiw ^.^ we uWu have :3 devis'd 
;;w;; Some :33 nyevew-heawd-of :33 towtuwing :33 pain fow OwO them. 
TAMORA. What, OwO awe ;;w;; they uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ pit? x3 O wondwous x3 thing! 
How easily murder >_> is >_> discuvwed! 
TITUS. xDD High Empewow, ;;w;; upon x3 my feebwe knyee 
UwU I ÚwÚ beg ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ boon, with tears nyot >w< wightwy shed, 
:33 That ÚwÚ this UwU feww ;;w;; fauwt of x3 my ^w^ accuwsed ^.^ sons- 
>w< Accuwsed >_> if x3 the ;;w;; fauwt be ^.^ pwov'd uWu in OwO them- 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. ;;w;; If >w< it be xDD pwov'd! >_> You >_> see >w< it >_> is >_> appawent. 
Who >_> found ÚwÚ this wettew? :33 Tamowa, UwU was >w< it you? 
TAMORA. Andwonyicus >_< himsewf uWu did OwO take >w< it :33 up. 
TITUS. UwU I ^-^ did, x3 my uWu wowd, yet wet ;;w;; me be uWu theiw bail; 
For, ^.^ by x3 my >_> fathews' reverend ;;w;; tomb, UwU I vow 
^-^ They UwU shaww be ready uWu at x3 youw Highness' xDD wiww 
;;w;; To answew uWu theiw >_> suspicion with uWu theiw ^.^ wives. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. ^.^ Thou shalt nyot xDD baiw OwO them; >_> see xDD thou ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. 
;;w;; Some ;;w;; bwing x3 the murdered ;;w;; body, x3 some x3 the ;;w;; muwdewews; 
Let them nyot speak :3 a word- x3 the guilt >_> is plain; 
For, ^.^ by x3 my x3 souw, :3 wewe there xDD wowse >w< end than UwU death, 
:33 That >w< end ;;w;; upon them >_> shouwd be ^-^ executed. 
TAMORA. Andronicus, UwU I xDD wiww entweat x3 the ;;w;; King. 
Fear nyot >w< thy sons; ;;w;; they UwU shaww UwU do weww enyough. 
TITUS. ^.^ Come, ^w^ Wucius, >_< come; xDD stay nyot to tawk with OwO them. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< fowest 

Entew x3 the Empress' sons, :3 DEMETWIUS ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ CHIWON, with ^.^ WAVINyIA, 
her ^.^ hands :3 cut ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and her >_> tongue :3 cut ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and UwU wavish'd 

DEMETRIUS. So, nyow OwO go uWu teww, >w< an >_> if >w< thy >_> tongue ^.^ can :3 speak, 
Who uWu 'twas :3 that :3 cut >w< thy >_> tongue ÚwÚ and UwU wavish'd thee. 
>w< CHIWON. :3 Wwite down >w< thy UwU mind, OwO bewway >w< thy meaning >_> so, 
^-^ An >_> if >w< thy ÚwÚ stumps xDD wiww wet uWu thee :33 pway x3 the OwO scwibe. 
DEMETRIUS. xDD See >w< how with signs ÚwÚ and UwU tokens ^.^ she ^.^ can ÚwÚ scwoww. 
>w< CHIWON. Go ^.^ home, caww fow x3 sweet >_< watew, >_< wash >w< thy ^w^ hands. 
DEMETRIUS. :33 She hath nyo >_> tongue to >_> caww, nor ^.^ hands to wash; 
xDD And UwU so >_> wet's OwO weave her to her silent wawks. 
>w< CHIWON. ^-^ An >w< 'twewe x3 my >_< cause, UwU I >_> shouwd OwO go ^w^ hang :3 mysewf. 
DEMETRIUS. ;;w;; If xDD thou >w< hadst ^.^ hands to OwO hewp uWu thee >w< knyit x3 the cowd. 
Exeunt :3 DEMETWIUS ÚwÚ and ^w^ CHIWON 

uWu Wind ^.^ howns. Entew MAWCUS, from :33 hunting 

OwO MAWCUS. Who >_> is :33 this?- x3 my UwU nyiece, :3 that fwies OwO away UwU so fast? 
Cousin, :3 a wowd: :3 whewe >_> is x3 youw OwO husband? 
;;w;; If UwU I UwU do x3 dweam, ^.^ wouwd aww x3 my weawth ^.^ wouwd wake me! 
;;w;; If UwU I UwU do x3 wake, x3 some planet strike ;;w;; me ;;w;; down, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may >_> swumbew >w< an xDD etewnyaw UwU sweep! 
ÚwÚ Speak, ^-^ gentwe niece. >_> What xDD stewn x3 ungentwe ^.^ hands 
>_< Hath wopp'd, ÚwÚ and ^-^ hew'd, ÚwÚ and UwU made >w< thy >w< body OwO bawe 
Of her >w< two >w< bwanches- UwU those x3 sweet ownyaments 
>_< Whose circling ^-^ shadows >w< kings uWu have >_< sought to :33 sweep x3 in, 
xDD And ^w^ might nyot ^.^ gain UwU so great :3 a happinyess 
;;w;; As half >w< thy love? Why dost nyot speak to me? 
ÚwÚ Awas, :3 a >_< cwimson river of wawm bwood, 
Wike to :3 a ;;w;; bubbwing ^w^ fountain stirr'd with ;;w;; wind, 
^-^ Doth rise ÚwÚ and faww ^-^ between >w< thy UwU wosed :3 wips, 
OwO Coming ÚwÚ and x3 going with >w< thy honey >_< bweath. 
OwO But >_< suwe x3 some >w< Teweus hath deflowered ÚwÚ thee, 
^.^ And, xDD west xDD thou shouwdst detect :3 him, :3 cut >w< thy :33 tongue. 
xDD Ah, nyow xDD thou turn'st OwO away >w< thy OwO face fow x3 shame! 
xDD And :3 nyotwithstanding aww ÚwÚ this ^-^ woss of blood- 
;;w;; As from :3 a >_> conduit with >w< thwee issuing ;;w;; spouts- 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU do >w< thy >_> cheeks wook red >_< as Titan's OwO face 
;;w;; Bwushing to be encount'wed with :3 a ÚwÚ cwoud. 
Shall UwU I speak fow thee? Shall UwU I >_> say UwU 'tis so? 
>_< O, :3 that UwU I UwU knyew >w< thy uWu heawt, ÚwÚ and UwU knyew x3 the ^.^ beast, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ might waiw uWu at ^.^ him to ^w^ ease x3 my ÚwÚ mind! 
OwO Sowwow concealed, ^.^ wike >w< an oven >_> stopp'd, 
^-^ Doth buwn x3 the >_< heawt to cinders :3 whewe >w< it >w< is. 
Faiw UwU Phiwomew, >w< why ^.^ she >_> but wost her ;;w;; tongue, 
xDD And uWu in :3 a tedious ;;w;; sampwew >_< sew'd her xDD mind; 
But, lovely UwU nyiece, :3 that >_> mean >_> is :3 cut from thee. 
^-^ A craftier Teweus, OwO cousin, x3 hast xDD thou :3 met, 
xDD And ^.^ he hath :3 cut UwU those OwO pwetty x3 fingews x3 off 
:33 That couwd uWu have xDD bettew >_< sew'd than UwU Phiwomew. 
>_< O, xDD had x3 the monstew :3 seen UwU those ;;w;; wiwy ^.^ hands 
Twembwe ^.^ wike OwO aspen >w< weaves ;;w;; upon :3 a ^-^ wute 
xDD And >_< make x3 the siwken xDD stwings delight to :3 kiss ÚwÚ them, 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot xDD then uWu have touch'd them fow :33 his wife! 
:33 Ow xDD had ^.^ he heard x3 the ^-^ heavenwy ;;w;; hawmony 
>_< Which :3 that x3 sweet >_> tongue hath made, 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd uWu have ÚwÚ dwopp'd :33 his ^-^ knyife, ÚwÚ and UwU feww ^-^ asweep, 
;;w;; As Cerberus uWu at x3 the x3 Thwacian x3 poet's xDD feet. 
^.^ Come, wet >_> us x3 go, ÚwÚ and >_< make >w< thy >w< fathew ÚwÚ bwind, 
For xDD such :3 a ^.^ sight xDD wiww ^w^ bwind :3 a father's >_< eye; 
x3 Onye hour's x3 stowm xDD wiww x3 dwown x3 the ^-^ fwagwant ^.^ meads, 
>_> What xDD wiww whole ^w^ months of tears >w< thy father's uWu eyes? 
Do nyot dwaw back, fow ^.^ we xDD wiww mouwn with ÚwÚ thee; 
>_< O, couwd UwU ouw >w< mouwnying case >w< thy ^-^ misewy! Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew x3 the uWu JUDGES, ÚwÚ TWIBUNyES, ÚwÚ and SENyATOWS, with ^.^ TITUS' >w< two xDD sons 
:33 MAWTIUS ÚwÚ and x3 QUINTUS xDD bound, passing on x3 the stage to x3 the :33 pwace of execution, 
ÚwÚ and TITUS x3 going x3 befowe, xDD pweading 

TITUS. >w< Heaw uWu me, :3 gwave ÚwÚ fathews; x3 nyobwe Twibunyes, ^-^ stay! 
For pity of >_< minye age, x3 whose :33 youth UwU was xDD spent 
^w^ In uWu dangewous UwU waws whiwst xDD you secuwewy >_> swept; 
For aww x3 my :3 bwood uWu in OwO Wome's great ^-^ quawwew shed, 
For aww x3 the fwosty :33 nyights :3 that UwU I uWu have >w< watch'd, 
xDD And fow these UwU bittew ^-^ teaws, which nyow xDD you >_> see 
Filling x3 the ^-^ aged ^.^ wwinkwes uWu in x3 my cheeks, 
^w^ Be ^w^ pitifuw to x3 my condemnyed sons, 
>_< Whose >w< souws OwO awe nyot cowwupted >_< as UwU 'tis thought. 
For >w< two ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty xDD sons UwU I >_< nyevew ;;w;; wept, 
>_< Because ;;w;; they >w< died uWu in x3 honyouw's wofty :3 bed. 
[ANDRONICUS wieth ;;w;; down, ÚwÚ and x3 the judges 
pass ^.^ by ^.^ him with x3 the pwisonyews, ÚwÚ and >w< exeunt] 
For OwO these, Twibunyes, uWu in x3 the x3 dust UwU I >w< wwite 
OwO My heart's >_> deep :33 wanguow ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 souw's >_> sad >w< teaws. 
Let x3 my tears >_< stanch x3 the :33 eawth's xDD dwy x3 appetite; 
OwO My >w< sons' x3 sweet :3 bwood xDD wiww >_< make >w< it ^-^ shame ÚwÚ and x3 bwush. 
x3 O earth, UwU I xDD wiww >_< befwiend uWu thee ^.^ mowe with xDD wain 
:33 That UwU shaww :33 distiw from these >w< two UwU ancient urns, 
Than youthfuw ;;w;; Apwiw UwU shaww with aww :33 his show'ws. 
^w^ In :33 summew's dwought I'll >_< dwop ;;w;; upon uWu thee stiww; 
^w^ In winter with wawm tears I'll :3 mewt x3 the >w< snyow 
xDD And >_< keep xDD etewnyaw spring-time on >w< thy >w< face, 
^w^ So xDD thou refuse to ÚwÚ dwink x3 my uWu deaw >w< sons' blood. 

Entew ^.^ Wucius with :33 his :33 weapon drawn 

x3 O reverend UwU Twibunyes! x3 O ^-^ gentwe ^-^ aged :3 men! 
ÚwÚ Unbind x3 my sons, >_< wevewse x3 the >_< doom of UwU death, 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me say, :3 that >_< nyevew :33 wept x3 befowe, 
OwO My tears OwO awe nyow prevailing ^w^ owatows. 
WUCIUS. x3 O x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ fathew, xDD you wament uWu in OwO vain; 
uWu The ÚwÚ Twibunyes hear xDD you >_> nyot, nyo x3 man >_> is UwU by, 
xDD And xDD you ^w^ wecount x3 youw ^w^ sowwows to :3 a uWu stonye. 
TITUS. xDD Ah, ^w^ Wucius, fow >w< thy bwothews wet ;;w;; me uWu pwead! 
Gwave Twibunyes, >_> once ^.^ mowe UwU I entweat of OwO you. 
WUCIUS. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, nyo twibunye x3 heaws xDD you >_< speak. 
TITUS. Why, UwU 'tis nyo >w< mattew, ^w^ man: >_> if ;;w;; they uWu did heaw, 
^-^ They ^.^ wouwd nyot mark OwO me; >_> if ;;w;; they uWu did >_> mawk, 
^-^ They ^.^ wouwd nyot pity OwO me; yet pwead UwU I ;;w;; must, 
xDD And bootwess >w< unto OwO them. 
Therefore UwU I tell x3 my ^w^ sowwows to x3 the ;;w;; stonyes; 
Who ^w^ though ;;w;; they ;;w;; cannyot answew x3 my UwU distwess, 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu in x3 some ;;w;; sowt ;;w;; they OwO awe xDD bettew than x3 the Twibunyes, 
For :3 that ;;w;; they xDD wiww nyot uWu intewcept x3 my ^-^ tawe. 
x3 When UwU I UwU do >_> weep, ;;w;; they x3 humbwy uWu at x3 my ;;w;; feet 
Receive x3 my ^-^ teaws, ÚwÚ and xDD seem to xDD weep with OwO me; 
xDD And :3 wewe ;;w;; they >_> but uWu attiwed uWu in :3 gwave ÚwÚ weeds, 
ÚwÚ Wome couwd UwU affowd nyo tribunes ^.^ wike to :3 these. 
^-^ A stone >_> is soft >_< as UwU wax: tribunes ^.^ mowe x3 hawd than ÚwÚ stonyes. 
^-^ A stone >_> is silent ÚwÚ and ^.^ offendeth >_> nyot, 
xDD And tribunes with uWu theiw tongues >_< doom ;;w;; men to death. 
>_> [Wises] 
OwO But ^-^ whewefowe OwO stand'st xDD thou with >w< thy :33 weapon xDD dwawn? 
WUCIUS. ;;w;; To OwO wescue x3 my >w< two bwothews from uWu theiw ÚwÚ death; 
For which x3 attempt x3 the judges uWu have ^-^ pwonyounc'd 
OwO My everlasting >_< doom of >_> banyishment. 
TITUS. x3 O ^w^ happy ;;w;; man! ;;w;; they uWu have >_< befwiended thee. 
Why, >_< foowish ^w^ Wucius, dost xDD thou nyot >_> pewceive 
:33 That ÚwÚ Wome >_> is >_> but :3 a wiwdewnyess of :33 tigews? 
Tigews ^w^ must ^.^ pwey, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Wome affowds nyo prey 
OwO But ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and minye; >w< how ^w^ happy awt xDD thou xDD then 
Fwom these devourers to be uWu banyished! 
OwO But who x3 comes with UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew x3 Mawcus hewe? 

Entew >_> MAWCUS with OwO WAVINyIA 

OwO MAWCUS. >w< Titus, >_> pwepawe >w< thy ^-^ aged eyes to >_> weep, 
:33 Ow >_> if nyot >_> so, >w< thy x3 nyobwe >_< heawt to *cuddles you* bweak. 
UwU I ;;w;; bwing >w< consuming sorrow to ^.^ thinye age. 
TITUS. Will >w< it ^-^ consume me? Let ;;w;; me >_> see >w< it UwU then. 
OwO MAWCUS. This UwU was >w< thy >w< daughtew. 
TITUS. Why, Marcus, UwU so ^.^ she >w< is. 
WUCIUS. uWu Ay me! ÚwÚ this :33 object :33 kiwws x3 me. 
TITUS. :3 Faint-heawted ^-^ boy, ^.^ awise, ÚwÚ and wook ;;w;; upon her. 
ÚwÚ Speak, Wavinyia, >_> what ^w^ accuwsed uWu hand 
>_< Hath UwU made uWu thee handwess uWu in >w< thy father's sight? 
>_> What >w< foow hath >_< added UwU watew to x3 the :33 sea, 
:33 Ow ^.^ bwought :3 a ;;w;; fagot to bwight-buwnying >w< Twoy? 
OwO My grief UwU was uWu at x3 the height >w< befowe xDD thou ÚwÚ cam'st, 
xDD And nyow ^.^ wike Nyiwus >w< it disdainyeth UwU bounds. 
Give ;;w;; me :3 a uWu swowd, I'll chop x3 off x3 my ^.^ hands :3 too, 
For ;;w;; they uWu have ÚwÚ fought fow ^w^ Wome, ÚwÚ and aww uWu in OwO vain; 
xDD And ;;w;; they uWu have nurs'd ÚwÚ this woe uWu in feeding :33 wife; 
^w^ In bootwess :3 pwayew uWu have ;;w;; they :33 been hewd up, 
xDD And ;;w;; they uWu have sewv'd ;;w;; me to effectless ÚwÚ use. 
Now aww x3 the OwO sewvice UwU I xDD wequiwe of them 
Is :3 that x3 the one xDD wiww OwO hewp to :3 cut x3 the :3 othew. 
'Tis weww, Wavinyia, :3 that xDD thou x3 hast nyo hands; 
For ^.^ hands to UwU do ÚwÚ Wome OwO sewvice >_> is >_> but OwO vain. 
WUCIUS. ÚwÚ Speak, ^-^ gentwe ^-^ sistew, who hath ÚwÚ mawtyw'd thee? 
OwO MAWCUS. >_< O, :3 that >_> dewightfuw ;;w;; enginye of her >_< thoughts 
:33 That bwabb'd them with xDD such pweasing eloquence 
Is :33 town from fowth :3 that OwO pwetty OwO howwow >w< cage, 
Whewe ^.^ wike :3 a x3 sweet melodious biwd >w< it sung 
ÚwÚ Sweet vawied nyotes, ;;w;; enchanting every :33 eaw! 
WUCIUS. >_< O, >_> say xDD thou fow hew, who hath donye ÚwÚ this deed? 
OwO MAWCUS. >_< O, OwO thus UwU I >_> found her ÚwÚ stwaying uWu in x3 the OwO pawk, 
UwU Seeking to hide herself >_< as xDD doth x3 the >w< deew 
:33 That hath weceiv'd x3 some ^w^ unwecuwing wound. 
TITUS. ^.^ It UwU was x3 my deaw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he :3 that wounded her 
>_< Hath ÚwÚ huwt ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe than xDD had ^.^ he kill'd ;;w;; me UwU dead; 
For nyow UwU I stand >_< as one ;;w;; upon :3 a :33 wock, 
Environ'd with :3 a wiwdewnyess of :33 sea, 
Who >w< mawks x3 the :3 waxing >_< tide gwow x3 wave ^.^ by wave, 
UwU Expecting OwO evew when x3 some envious suwge 
Will uWu in :33 his uWu bwinyish bowels swawwow ^.^ him. 
This uWu way to :33 death x3 my wwetched xDD sons OwO awe xDD gonye; 
:3 Hewe >w< stands x3 my othew x3 son, :3 a banyish'd ^w^ man, 
xDD And OwO hewe x3 my brother, weeping uWu at x3 my ^w^ woes. 
OwO But :3 that which ;;w;; gives x3 my :3 souw x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest :33 spuwn 
Is uWu deaw Wavinyia, ÚwÚ deawew than x3 my ^-^ souw. 
xDD Had UwU I >_> but :3 seen >w< thy ^-^ pictuwe uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ pwight, 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd uWu have >_< madded OwO me; >_> what UwU shaww UwU I UwU do 
Now UwU I behowd >w< thy lively >w< body so? 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyo ^.^ hands to xDD wipe OwO away >w< thy ^-^ teaws, 
x3 Nyow >_> tongue to tell ;;w;; me who hath ÚwÚ mawtyw'd ÚwÚ thee; 
x3 Thy :33 husband ^.^ he >_> is >_< dead, ÚwÚ and fow :33 his :33 death 
x3 Thy bwothews OwO awe OwO condemn'd, ÚwÚ and >_< dead ^.^ by UwU this. 
x3 Wook, Marcus! xDD Ah, >_< son ^w^ Wucius, wook on >_> hew! 
x3 When UwU I uWu did xDD nyame her OwO bwothews, xDD then >w< fwesh tears 
^w^ Stood on her cheeks, >_< as xDD doth x3 the honey :33 dew 
>_> Upon :3 a gath'wed ;;w;; wiwy almost >_< withewed. 
OwO MAWCUS. Pewchance ^.^ she ^.^ weeps uWu because ;;w;; they kill'd her xDD husband; 
Pewchance uWu because ^.^ she xDD knyows them innocent. 
TITUS. ;;w;; If ;;w;; they uWu did OwO kiww >w< thy ^.^ husband, xDD then be joyful, 
>_< Because x3 the law hath >_> ta'en xDD wevenge on OwO them. 
:3 Nyo, no, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU do UwU so fouw :3 a ^.^ deed; 
Witness x3 the sorrow :3 that uWu theiw :3 sistew makes. 
^w^ Gentwe Wavinyia, wet ;;w;; me :3 kiss >w< thy :3 wips, 
:33 Ow >_< make x3 some xDD sign >w< how UwU I OwO may UwU do uWu thee ^w^ ease. 
Shall >w< thy ÚwÚ good :33 uncwe ÚwÚ and >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ Wucius 
xDD And xDD thou ÚwÚ and UwU I sit ;;w;; wound about x3 some :33 fountain, 
^w^ Wooking aww ^w^ downwawds to behowd UwU ouw >_> cheeks 
How ;;w;; they OwO awe :33 stain'd, ^.^ wike meadows yet nyot xDD dwy 
With UwU miwy swime left on them ^.^ by :3 a ÚwÚ fwood? 
xDD And uWu in x3 the ^w^ fountain UwU shaww ^.^ we ÚwÚ gaze UwU so long, 
Tiww x3 the >w< fwesh >_> taste be :33 taken from :3 that clearness, 
xDD And UwU made :3 a >w< bwinye-pit with UwU ouw UwU bittew teaws? 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ^.^ we :3 cut OwO away UwU ouw ^.^ hands ^.^ wike >_< thinye? 
:33 Ow UwU shaww ^.^ we ^-^ bite UwU ouw tongues, ÚwÚ and uWu in UwU dumb >_< shows 
ÚwÚ Pass x3 the ^.^ wemaindew of UwU ouw hateful ^-^ days? 
>_> What UwU shaww ^.^ we ^-^ do? Let >_> us :3 that uWu have UwU ouw tongues 
>w< Pwot x3 some xDD device of further misery 
;;w;; To >_< make >_> us x3 wondew'd uWu at uWu in time to x3 come. 
WUCIUS. ÚwÚ Sweet ÚwÚ fathew, xDD cease x3 youw teaws; fow uWu at x3 youw grief 
xDD See >w< how x3 my wwetched :3 sistew >_< sobs ÚwÚ and ^-^ weeps. 
OwO MAWCUS. >w< Patience, uWu deaw niece. ^-^ Good >w< Titus, xDD dwy ^.^ thinye :3 eyes. 
TITUS. xDD Ah, Marcus, Marcus! UwU Bwothew, weww UwU I uWu wot 
x3 Thy napkin ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ dwink :3 a teaw of >_> minye, 
For UwU thou, poor ^w^ man, x3 hast >w< dwown'd >w< it with ^.^ thinye own. 
WUCIUS. xDD Ah, x3 my Wavinyia, UwU I xDD wiww xDD wipe >w< thy UwU cheeks. 
TITUS. ;;w;; Mawk, Marcus, ÚwÚ mawk! UwU I understand her signs. 
xDD Had ^.^ she :3 a >_> tongue to :3 speak, nyow ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she >_> say 
:33 That to her ÚwÚ bwothew which UwU I uWu said to >_< thee: 
ÚwÚ His nyapkin, with :33 his true tears aww >_< bewet, 
UwU Can UwU do nyo OwO sewvice on her :33 sowwowfuw UwU cheeks. 
>_< O, >_> what :3 a >_> sympathy of woe >_> is ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; As uWu faw from OwO hewp >_< as ;;w;; Wimbo >_> is from uWu bwiss! 

Entew ^-^ AAWON x3 the Moor 

^.^ AAWON. Titus Andronicus, x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the >_> Empewow 
^-^ Sends uWu thee ÚwÚ this word, :3 that, >_> if xDD thou wuv >w< thy sons, 
Let Marcus, ^w^ Wucius, ow ;;w;; thysewf, ;;w;; owd >w< Titus, 
:33 Ow xDD any one of UwU you, chop x3 off x3 youw uWu hand 
xDD And >_> send >w< it to x3 the ^.^ King: ^.^ he fow x3 the same 
Will >_> send uWu thee ÚwÚ hithew both >w< thy xDD sons ^.^ awive, 
xDD And :3 that UwU shaww be x3 the wansom fow uWu theiw ^-^ fauwt. 
TITUS. x3 O >_> gwacious >w< Empewow! x3 O ^-^ gentwe >_> Aawon! 
Did OwO evew >_> waven ^.^ sing UwU so ^.^ wike :3 a lark 
:33 That ;;w;; gives x3 sweet UwU tidings of x3 the sun's xDD upwise? 
With aww x3 my >_< heawt I'll >_> send x3 the >_> Empewow x3 my >w< hand. 
^-^ Good ÚwÚ Aawon, wiwt xDD thou OwO hewp to chop >w< it off? 
WUCIUS. Stay, ;;w;; fathew! fow :3 that x3 nyobwe uWu hand of xDD thinye, 
:33 That hath :33 thwown down UwU so UwU many UwU enyemies, 
Shall nyot be sent. OwO My uWu hand xDD wiww serve x3 the tuwn, 
OwO My :33 youth ^.^ can xDD bettew ^-^ spawe x3 my :3 bwood than UwU you, 
xDD And >_< thewefowe >_< minye UwU shaww :3 save x3 my ^w^ bwothews' ^.^ wives. 
OwO MAWCUS. >_< Which of x3 youw ^.^ hands hath nyot defended ÚwÚ Wome 
xDD And x3 weaw'd ÚwÚ awoft x3 the bwoody battle-axe, 
OwO Wwiting >w< destwuction on x3 the ÚwÚ enyemy's xDD castwe? 
>_< O, >_< nyonye of both >_> but OwO awe of xDD high desert! 
OwO My uWu hand hath :33 been >_> but idle; wet >w< it serve 
;;w;; To wansom x3 my >w< two x3 nyephews from uWu theiw ÚwÚ death; 
UwU Then uWu have UwU I :33 kept >w< it to :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy OwO end. 
^.^ AAWON. Nyay, come, agree x3 whose uWu hand UwU shaww OwO go along, 
For feaw ;;w;; they ^-^ die >w< befowe uWu theiw UwU pawdon x3 come. 
OwO MAWCUS. OwO My uWu hand UwU shaww ÚwÚ go. 
WUCIUS. ^-^ By ^.^ heaven, >w< it UwU shaww nyot :3 go! 
TITUS. uWu Siws, strive nyo mowe; xDD such with'wed >w< hewbs >_< as these 
^w^ Awe :3 meet fow ^-^ pwucking up, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^w^ minye. 
WUCIUS. ÚwÚ Sweet ÚwÚ fathew, >_> if UwU I UwU shaww be xDD thought >w< thy x3 son, 
Let ;;w;; me xDD wedeem x3 my bwothews both from death. 
OwO MAWCUS. xDD And fow UwU ouw father's ÚwÚ sake ÚwÚ and ;;w;; mothew's care, 
Now wet ;;w;; me x3 show :3 a brother's wuv to thee. 
TITUS. ;;w;; Agwee ^-^ between uWu you; UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ spawe x3 my >w< hand. 
WUCIUS. UwU Then I'll OwO go :3 fetch >w< an :33 axe. 
OwO MAWCUS. OwO But UwU I xDD wiww use x3 the :33 axe. 
Exeunt :33 WUCIUS ÚwÚ and >_> MAWCUS 
TITUS. :3 Come hithew, ÚwÚ Aawon, I'll >w< deceive them both; 
uWu Wend ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww UwU give uWu thee ^w^ minye. 
^.^ AAWON. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; If :3 that be ^w^ caww'd ^-^ deceit, UwU I xDD wiww be OwO honyest, 
xDD And >_< nyevew whiwst UwU I ^w^ wive >w< deceive ;;w;; men so; 
OwO But I'll >w< deceive xDD you uWu in anyothew sort, 
xDD And :3 that you'ww >_> say ere half >w< an >_> houw :3 pass. 
[He >w< cuts x3 off ^.^ TITUS' ^-^ hand] 

^.^ We-entew :33 WUCIUS ÚwÚ and >_> MAWCUS 

TITUS. Now xDD stay x3 youw x3 stwife. >_> What UwU shaww be >_> is x3 dispatch'd. 
^-^ Good ÚwÚ Aawon, UwU give :33 his ;;w;; Majesty x3 my xDD hand; 
Teww ^.^ him >w< it UwU was :3 a uWu hand :3 that :3 wawded ^.^ him 
Fwom thousand >_> dangews; bid ^.^ him ^.^ buwy :3 it. 
uWu Mowe hath >w< it ^-^ mewited- :3 that wet >w< it :3 have. 
;;w;; As fow x3 my sons, >_> say UwU I :33 account of them 
;;w;; As :3 jewews >w< puwchas'd uWu at >w< an ^w^ easy price; 
xDD And yet uWu deaw :3 too, uWu because UwU I xDD bought >_< minye own. 
^.^ AAWON. UwU I x3 go, Andronicus; ÚwÚ and fow >w< thy uWu hand 
Wook ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by to uWu have >w< thy xDD sons with thee. 
:3 [Aside] ^-^ Theiw heads UwU I x3 mean. >_< O, >w< how ÚwÚ this xDD viwwainy 
^-^ Doth :33 fat ;;w;; me with x3 the xDD vewy >_< thoughts of :3 it! 
Let foows UwU do UwU good, ÚwÚ and >w< faiw ;;w;; men caww fow >w< gwace: 
:3 Aawon xDD wiww uWu have :33 his :3 souw black ^.^ wike :33 his ;;w;; face. uWu Exit 
TITUS. >_< O, OwO hewe UwU I lift ÚwÚ this one uWu hand x3 up to ^.^ heaven, 
xDD And bow ÚwÚ this feebwe xDD wuin to x3 the ^w^ eawth; 
;;w;; If xDD any powew >_> pities wwetched ^-^ teaws, 
;;w;; To :3 that UwU I call! :33 [To UwU WAVINyIA] What, xDD wouwd'st xDD thou ^w^ knyeew with me? 
UwU Do, >w< then, uWu deaw heawt; fow heaven UwU shaww hear UwU ouw pwayews, 
:33 Ow with UwU ouw :3 sighs we'll ;;w;; bweathe x3 the welkin dim 
xDD And stain x3 the sun with fog, >_< as ÚwÚ sometime :33 cwouds 
x3 When ;;w;; they UwU do hug ^.^ him uWu in uWu theiw mewting x3 bosoms. 
OwO MAWCUS. x3 O brother, speak with possibiwity, 
xDD And UwU do nyot bweak x3 into these >_> deep extremes. 
TITUS. Is nyot x3 my sorrow >w< deep, xDD having nyo UwU bottom? 
UwU Then be x3 my passions bottomwess with OwO them. 
OwO MAWCUS. OwO But yet wet reason >_< guvwn >w< thy :33 wament. 
TITUS. ;;w;; If there :3 wewe reason fow these miseries, 
UwU Then x3 into :3 wimits couwd UwU I bind x3 my ^w^ woes. 
x3 When heaven xDD doth >_> weep, xDD doth nyot x3 the ^.^ eawth o'ewfwow? 
;;w;; If x3 the >_< winds rage, xDD doth nyot x3 the sea OwO wax mad, 
Threat'ning x3 the welkin with :33 his big-swol'n ^.^ face? 
xDD And wiwt xDD thou uWu have :3 a reason fow ÚwÚ this >_> coiw? 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the sea; x3 hawk >w< how her :3 sighs UwU do >_> bwow. 
:33 She >_> is x3 the weeping wewkin, UwU I x3 the ^w^ eawth; 
UwU Then ^w^ must x3 my sea be ^-^ muvd with her >_> sighs; 
UwU Then ^w^ must x3 my ^.^ eawth with her continyuaw tears 
Become :3 a dewuge, overflow'd ÚwÚ and drown'd; 
For >w< why x3 my bowels ;;w;; cannyot hide her :33 woes, 
OwO But ^.^ wike :3 a drunkard ^w^ must UwU I ^.^ vomit OwO them. 
UwU Then UwU give ;;w;; me :3 weave; fow ^-^ wosews xDD wiww uWu have OwO weave 
;;w;; To ^w^ ease uWu theiw ^w^ stomachs with uWu theiw UwU bittew tongues. 

Entew :3 a >_< MESSENGEW, with >w< two heads ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu hand 

x3 MESSENGEW. Wowthy Andronicus, :33 iww awt xDD thou wepaid 
For :3 that ÚwÚ good uWu hand xDD thou ÚwÚ sent'st x3 the ÚwÚ Empewow. 
:3 Hewe OwO awe x3 the heads of >w< thy >w< two x3 nyobwe sons; 
xDD And hewe's >w< thy uWu hand, uWu in ^w^ scown to uWu thee sent OwO back- 
x3 Thy grief uWu theiw spowts, >w< thy uWu wesowution ^w^ mock'd, 
:33 That woe >_> is ;;w;; me to think ;;w;; upon >w< thy :33 woes, 
uWu Mowe than wemembwance of x3 my father's death. uWu Exit 
OwO MAWCUS. Now wet :3 hot >w< Aetnya :3 coow uWu in ^w^ Siciwy, 
xDD And be x3 my >_< heawt >w< an :3 evew-buwnying >_< heww! 
;;w;; These misewies OwO awe ^.^ mowe than OwO may be >w< bownye. 
;;w;; To xDD weep with them :3 that xDD weep xDD doth ^w^ ease x3 some deaw, 
OwO But sorrow ^-^ fwouted uWu at >_> is :3 doubwe death. 
WUCIUS. xDD Ah, :3 that ÚwÚ this ^.^ sight >_> shouwd >_< make UwU so >_> deep :3 a ^-^ wound, 
xDD And yet :3 detested >w< wife nyot >w< shwink :3 theweat! 
:33 That OwO evew :33 death >_> shouwd wet >w< wife UwU beaw :33 his :33 nyame, 
Whewe >w< wife hath nyo ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ intewest >_> but to bweathe! 
:33 [WAVINyIA ^-^ kisses ÚwÚ TITUS] 
OwO MAWCUS. ÚwÚ Awas, poor uWu heawt, :3 that :3 kiss >_> is comfowtwess 
;;w;; As uWu fwozen UwU watew to :3 a starved ^-^ snyake. 
TITUS. x3 When xDD wiww ÚwÚ this x3 feawfuw >_> swumbew uWu have >w< an >w< end? 
OwO MAWCUS. Now farewell, UwU fwatt'wy; >_> die, Andwonyicus. 
^.^ Thou dost nyot ;;w;; swumbew: >_> see >w< thy >w< two >w< sons' >_< heads, 
x3 Thy warlike uWu hand, >w< thy OwO mangwed daughter ^.^ hewe; 
x3 Thy othew banyish'd >_< son with ÚwÚ this uWu deaw ^.^ sight 
>w< Stwuck pawe ÚwÚ and OwO bwoodwess; ÚwÚ and >w< thy brother, I, 
Even ^.^ wike :3 a >_< stony ÚwÚ image, UwU cowd ÚwÚ and ^w^ nyumb. 
Ah! nyow nyo ^.^ mowe xDD wiww UwU I contwow >w< thy gwiefs. 
^-^ Went x3 off >w< thy :33 siwvew hair, >w< thy othew uWu hand 
>w< Gnyawing with >w< thy teeth; ÚwÚ and be ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ dismaw ^.^ sight 
uWu The xDD cwosing x3 up of UwU ouw UwU most wwetched :3 eyes. 
Now >_> is :3 a time to ^w^ stowm; >w< why awt xDD thou still? 
TITUS. >w< Ha, ha, :33 ha! 
OwO MAWCUS. Why dost xDD thou xDD waugh? ^.^ It ^w^ fits nyot with ÚwÚ this hour. 
TITUS. Why, UwU I uWu have nyot anyothew teaw to >_< shed; 
:33 Besides, ÚwÚ this sorrow >_> is >w< an enyemy, 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd usuwp ;;w;; upon x3 my ^.^ wat'wy eyes 
xDD And >_< make them ^w^ bwind with :3 twibutawy >w< teaws. 
UwU Then which uWu way UwU shaww UwU I find >w< Wevenge's cave? 
For these >w< two heads UwU do xDD seem to speak to uWu me, 
xDD And >_< thweat ;;w;; me UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew come to ÚwÚ bwiss 
Tiww aww these >w< mischiefs be wetuwn'd again 
Even uWu in uWu theiw ÚwÚ thwoats :3 that uWu have >_> committed OwO them. 
^.^ Come, wet ;;w;; me >_> see >_> what :3 task UwU I uWu have to xDD do. 
>_> You x3 heavy >_> peopwe, xDD ciwcwe ;;w;; me about, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may turn ;;w;; me to >_< each one of xDD you 
xDD And >_< sweaw >w< unto x3 my :3 souw to >w< wight x3 youw x3 wwongs. 
uWu The vow >_> is >_> made. ^.^ Come, brother, OwO take :3 a head, 
xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu hand x3 the othew xDD wiww UwU I bear. 
^.^ And, Wavinyia, xDD thou shalt be xDD empwoy'd uWu in >_< this; 
ÚwÚ Beaw xDD thou x3 my uWu hand, x3 sweet >_> wench, ^-^ between >w< thy teeth. 
;;w;; As fow ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ boy, x3 go, get uWu thee from x3 my sight; 
^.^ Thou awt >w< an >w< exiwe, ÚwÚ and xDD thou ^w^ must nyot >_< stay. 
Hie to x3 the Goths ÚwÚ and >w< waise >w< an ^.^ awmy uWu thewe; 
xDD And >_> if OwO ye wuv uWu me, >_< as UwU I think xDD you UwU do, 
:3 Wet's :3 kiss ÚwÚ and >_> pawt, fow ^.^ we uWu have much to xDD do. 
Exeunt aww >_> but ^.^ Wucius 
WUCIUS. UwU Faweweww, Andronicus, x3 my x3 nyobwe ÚwÚ fathew, 
uWu The ^-^ woefuww'st x3 man :3 that OwO evew liv'd uWu in xDD Wome. 
UwU Faweweww, OwO pwoud Rome; >w< tiww ^.^ Wucius come OwO again, 
>w< He >w< weaves :33 his >_< pwedges ÚwÚ deawew than :33 his life. 
UwU Faweweww, Wavinyia, x3 my x3 nyobwe x3 sistew; 
>_< O, ^.^ wouwd xDD thou OwO wewt >_< as xDD thou >_> tofowe x3 hast >_< been! 
OwO But nyow nor ^.^ Wucius nor ;;w;; Wavinyia ;;w;; wives 
OwO But uWu in oblivion ÚwÚ and hateful gwiefs. 
;;w;; If ^.^ Wucius x3 wive, ^.^ he xDD wiww :3 wequite x3 youw >_< wwongs 
xDD And >_< make OwO pwoud >_< Satuwnyinye ÚwÚ and :33 his >_> empewess 
>w< Beg uWu at x3 the :3 gates ^.^ wike >_> Tawquin ÚwÚ and :33 his >w< queen. 
Now xDD wiww UwU I to x3 the x3 Goths, ÚwÚ and >w< waise :3 a pow'w 
;;w;; To be ^w^ weveng'd on ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Satuwnyinye. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
xDD Wome. ^.^ TITUS' ;;w;; house 

^-^ A banquet. 

Entew OwO TITUS, MAWCUS, ^.^ WAVINyIA, ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; boy :3 YOUNG :33 WUCIUS 

TITUS. ^w^ So >_> so, nyow ^.^ sit; ÚwÚ and wook xDD you eat nyo ^.^ mowe 
Than xDD wiww pwesewve >w< just UwU so much ÚwÚ stwength uWu in >_> us 
;;w;; As xDD wiww xDD wevenge these UwU bittew :3 woes of >_> ouws. 
Marcus, unknit :3 that uWu sowwow-wweathen xDD knyot; 
x3 Thy uWu nyiece ÚwÚ and I, poor :33 cweatuwes, ^.^ want UwU ouw ^.^ hands, 
xDD And ;;w;; cannyot passionyate UwU ouw tenfold grief 
With UwU fowded arms. This poor >w< wight uWu hand of >_< minye 
Is left to tywannyize ;;w;; upon x3 my >_< bweast; 
UwU Who, when x3 my uWu heawt, aww ^-^ mad with ^-^ misewy, 
Beats uWu in ÚwÚ this OwO howwow :3 pwison of x3 my OwO fwesh, 
UwU Then OwO thus UwU I ^.^ thump >w< it down. 
:33 [To UwU WAVINyIA] ^.^ Thou ^.^ map of woe, :3 that OwO thus dost tawk uWu in x3 signs! 
x3 When >w< thy poor >_< heawt ÚwÚ beats with :3 outwageous x3 beating, 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot strike >w< it OwO thus to >_< make >w< it xDD stiww. 
Wound >w< it with x3 sighing, OwO giww, OwO kiww >w< it with >_< gwoans; 
:33 Ow get x3 some xDD wittwe knyife ^-^ between >w< thy teeth 
xDD And >w< just OwO against >w< thy >_< heawt >_< make xDD thou :3 a :3 howe, 
:33 That aww x3 the tears :3 that >w< thy poor eyes wet faww 
^-^ May >w< wun x3 into :3 that sink x3 and, >_> soaking x3 in, 
:33 Dwown x3 the lamenting >w< foow uWu in >_< sea-sawt >w< teaws. 
OwO MAWCUS. OwO Fie, brother, fie! :3 Teach her nyot OwO thus to uWu way 
>w< Such :3 viowent ^.^ hands ;;w;; upon her xDD tendew life. 
TITUS. How >_< nyow! x3 Has sorrow UwU made uWu thee >_> dote ÚwÚ awweady? 
Why, Marcus, nyo x3 man >_> shouwd be ^-^ mad >_> but ^.^ I. 
>_> What :3 viowent ^.^ hands ^.^ can ^.^ she uWu way on her :33 wife? 
xDD Ah, ^-^ whewefowe dost xDD thou urge x3 the xDD nyame of hands? 
;;w;; To bid ÚwÚ Aenyeas tell x3 the xDD tawe twice ^-^ o'ew 
How Twoy UwU was burnt ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU made miserable? 
>_< O, handle nyot x3 the UwU theme, to tawk of ^.^ hands, 
Lest ^.^ we remember still :3 that ^.^ we uWu have none. 
OwO Fie, >_< fie, >w< how :33 fwanticwy UwU I square x3 my talk, 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ we >_> shouwd x3 fowget ^.^ we xDD had nyo ^.^ hands, 
;;w;; If x3 Mawcus uWu did nyot xDD nyame x3 the ;;w;; wowd of ^w^ hands! 
^.^ Come, >_> wet's faww >w< to; x3 and, ^-^ gentwe OwO giww, eat :33 this: 
:3 Hewe >_> is nyo ^-^ dwink. Hawk, Marcus, >_> what ^.^ she says- 
UwU I ^.^ can UwU intewpwet aww her ÚwÚ mawtyw'd signs; 
:33 She ;;w;; says ^.^ she dwinks nyo othew ÚwÚ dwink >_> but ^-^ teaws, 
OwO Bwew'd with her >_> sowwow, OwO mesh'd ;;w;; upon her UwU cheeks. 
x3 Speechwess complainer, UwU I xDD wiww :3 weawn >w< thy thought; 
^w^ In >w< thy UwU dumb uWu action xDD wiww UwU I be >_< as :3 pewfect 
;;w;; As ^w^ begging hewmits uWu in uWu theiw >w< howy prayers. 
^.^ Thou shalt nyot uWu sigh, nor howd >w< thy ÚwÚ stumps to ^.^ heaven, 
x3 Nyow ;;w;; wink, nor nyod, nor :33 knyeew, nor >_< make :3 a ^w^ sign, 
OwO But UwU I of these xDD wiww x3 wwest >w< an ÚwÚ awphabet, 
xDD And ^.^ by still pwactice :3 weawn to ^.^ knyow >w< thy meanying. 
BOY. ^-^ Good xDD gwandsiwe, OwO weave these UwU bittew >_> deep laments; 
^-^ Make x3 my >_< aunt ^.^ mewwy with x3 some pweasing ^-^ tawe. 
OwO MAWCUS. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 the xDD tendew ^-^ boy, uWu in passion x3 mov'd, 
^-^ Doth xDD weep to >_> see :33 his :33 gwandsiwe's heaviness. 
TITUS. uWu Peace, xDD tendew :33 sapwing; xDD thou awt UwU made of ^-^ teaws, 
xDD And tears xDD wiww quickly :3 mewt >w< thy >w< wife xDD away. 
[MARCUS :33 stwikes x3 the ^w^ dish with :3 a ÚwÚ knyife] 
>_> What dost xDD thou strike :3 at, Marcus, with >w< thy knife? 
OwO MAWCUS. At :3 that :3 that UwU I uWu have ^.^ kiww'd, x3 my wowd- :3 a fwy. 
TITUS. UwU Out on ÚwÚ thee, muwdewew, xDD thou ^-^ kiww'st x3 my :33 heawt! 
Mine eyes OwO awe ;;w;; cwoy'd with x3 view of uWu tywanny; 
^-^ A ^.^ deed of :33 death donye on x3 the innocent 
>_> Becomes nyot Titus' ^-^ bwothew. >_< Get uWu thee xDD gonye; 
UwU I >_> see xDD thou awt nyot fow x3 my UwU company. 
OwO MAWCUS. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I uWu have >_> but kill'd :3 a fwy. 
TITUS. 'But!' How >_> if :3 that fwy xDD had :3 a >w< fathew ÚwÚ and mothew? 
How ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he ^w^ hang :33 his slender :3 giwded x3 wings 
xDD And ^.^ buzz lamenting ^-^ doings uWu in x3 the air! 
OwO Poow UwU hawmwess fly, 
:33 That with :33 his OwO pwetty ^-^ buzzing x3 mewody 
>_< Came OwO hewe to >_< make >_> us merry! xDD And xDD thou x3 hast kill'd ^.^ him. 
OwO MAWCUS. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, siw; >w< it UwU was :3 a black :3 iww-favouw'd fly, 
Wike to x3 the Empress' Moow; >_< thewefowe UwU I kill'd ^.^ him. 
TITUS. >_< O, >_< O, :3 O! 
UwU Then UwU pawdon ;;w;; me fow reprehending ÚwÚ thee, 
For xDD thou x3 hast donye :3 a x3 chawitabwe UwU deed. 
Give ;;w;; me >w< thy ^-^ knyife, UwU I xDD wiww insuwt on :3 him, 
Fwattewing mysewf >_< as >_> if >w< it :3 wewe x3 the Moor 
:3 Come ÚwÚ hithew purposely to x3 poison x3 me. 
>_> Thewe's fow ;;w;; thysewf, ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's fow Tamora. 
xDD Ah, siwwah! 
Yet, UwU I >_< think, ^.^ we OwO awe nyot ^.^ bwought UwU so wow 
OwO But :3 that ^-^ between >_> us ^.^ we ^.^ can OwO kiww :3 a fwy 
:33 That x3 comes uWu in xDD wikenyess of :3 a coal-black Moow. 
OwO MAWCUS. ÚwÚ Awas, poor ;;w;; man! grief >_> has UwU so ;;w;; wwought on :3 him, 
>w< He UwU takes UwU fawse ^-^ shadows fow true xDD substances. 
TITUS. ^.^ Come, OwO take xDD away. Wavinyia, OwO go with OwO me; 
I'll to >w< thy closet, ÚwÚ and OwO go ^w^ wead with uWu thee 
x3 Sad :3 stowies >w< chanced uWu in x3 the times of ^-^ owd. 
^.^ Come, ^-^ boy, ÚwÚ and OwO go with OwO me; >w< thy ^.^ sight >_> is >_> young, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt ^w^ wead when >_< minye x3 begin to UwU dazzwe. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
xDD Wome. ^.^ TITUS' >_< gawden 

Entew :3 YOUNG :33 WUCIUS ÚwÚ and OwO WAVINyIA wunnying ÚwÚ aftew :3 him, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; boy fwies from her with :33 his uWu books :33 undew :33 his awm. 

Entew TITUS ÚwÚ and >_> MAWCUS 

BOY. Hewp, xDD gwandsiwe, :33 hewp! x3 my >_< aunt ;;w;; Wavinyia 
^-^ Fowwows ;;w;; me everywhere, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :33 why. 
^-^ Good :33 uncwe Marcus, >_> see >w< how UwU swift ^.^ she comes! 
ÚwÚ Awas, x3 sweet uWu aunt, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what xDD you x3 mean. 
OwO MAWCUS. ;;w;; Stand ^.^ by uWu me, Lucius; UwU do nyot feaw ^.^ thinye ^-^ aunt. 
TITUS. :33 She loves ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ boy, ^w^ too weww to UwU do uWu thee harm. 
BOY. Ay, when x3 my >w< fathew UwU was uWu in ÚwÚ Wome ^.^ she ^.^ did. 
OwO MAWCUS. >_> What means x3 my uWu nyiece ;;w;; Wavinyia ^.^ by these uWu signs? 
TITUS. Fear her >_> nyot, Lucius; >_< somewhat xDD doth ^.^ she x3 mean. 
:3 See, ^w^ Wucius, >_> see >w< how much ^.^ she x3 makes of thee. 
Somewhither ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she uWu have uWu thee OwO go with her. 
xDD Ah, ^-^ boy, >w< Cownyewia >_< nyevew with ^.^ mowe :3 cawe 
xDD Wead to her xDD sons than ^.^ she hath ^w^ wead to uWu thee 
ÚwÚ Sweet poetry ÚwÚ and Tuwwy's x3 Owatow. 
OwO MAWCUS. ÚwÚ Canst xDD thou nyot guess ^-^ whewefowe ^.^ she :3 pwies uWu thee >_< thus? 
BOY. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, I, nor ^.^ can UwU I ÚwÚ guess, 
OwO Unwess x3 some ;;w;; fit ow fwenzy UwU do possess >w< hew; 
For UwU I uWu have heard x3 my >_> gwandsiwe >_> say full ;;w;; oft 
Extremity of griefs ^.^ wouwd >_< make ;;w;; men >w< mad; 
xDD And UwU I uWu have ^w^ wead :3 that Hecuba of Twoy 
Wan ^-^ mad fow ;;w;; sowwow. :33 That UwU made ;;w;; me to x3 feaw; 
:33 Awthough, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my x3 nyobwe >_< aunt 
UwU Wuvs ;;w;; me >_< as uWu deaw >_< as ;;w;; e'ew x3 my mothew ^-^ did, 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, >_> but uWu in ^w^ fuwy, :33 fwight x3 my uWu youth; 
>_< Which UwU made ;;w;; me down to ^-^ thwow x3 my books, ÚwÚ and ^-^ fwy- 
>_> Causewess, >w< pewhaps. OwO But UwU pawdon uWu me, x3 sweet aunt; 
^.^ And, UwU madam, >_> if x3 my :33 uncwe x3 Mawcus x3 go, 
UwU I xDD wiww UwU most ^w^ wiwwingwy >_< attend x3 youw ladyship. 
OwO MAWCUS. ^w^ Wucius, UwU I :33 wiww. :33 [WAVINyIA tuwns uvw with her 
ÚwÚ stumps x3 the uWu books which ^.^ Wucius >_> has wet faww] 
TITUS. How now, Wavinyia! Marcus, >_> what means :3 this? 
;;w;; Some ^w^ book there >_> is :3 that ^.^ she desiwes to ^-^ see. 
>_< Which >_> is :33 it, OwO giww, of :33 these?- ^w^ Open ÚwÚ them, xDD boy.- 
OwO But xDD thou awt deeper ^w^ wead ÚwÚ and xDD bettew skill'd; 
:3 Come ÚwÚ and OwO take UwU choice of aww x3 my ^w^ wibwawy, 
xDD And UwU so beguile >w< thy >_> sowwow, >w< tiww x3 the heavens 
^-^ Weveaw x3 the damn'd contriver of ÚwÚ this UwU deed. 
Why lifts ^.^ she x3 up her :3 awms uWu in OwO sequence >_< thus? 
OwO MAWCUS. UwU I think ^.^ she means :3 that there :3 wewe ^.^ mowe than one 
>w< Confedewate uWu in x3 the :33 fact; :33 ay, ^.^ mowe there UwU was, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse to heaven ^.^ she heaves them fow revenge. 
TITUS. ^w^ Wucius, >_> what ^w^ book >_> is :3 that ^.^ she :33 tosseth so? 
BOY. >_> Gwandsiwe, UwU 'tis >w< Ovid's Metamorphoses; 
OwO My mothew uWu gave >w< it x3 me. 
OwO MAWCUS. For wuv of her ^w^ that's >w< gonye, 
:3 Pewhaps ^.^ she :3 cuww'd >w< it from ^-^ among x3 the rest. 
TITUS. ;;w;; Soft! ^w^ So OwO busiwy ^.^ she tuwns x3 the weaves! ^-^ Hewp her. 
>_> What ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she find? Wavinyia, UwU shaww UwU I >_< wead? 
This >_> is x3 the tragic xDD tawe of ÚwÚ Phiwomew 
xDD And ÚwÚ tweats of >w< Teweus' UwU tweason ÚwÚ and :33 his rape; 
xDD And UwU wape, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, UwU was ^.^ woot of >w< thy >_> annyoy. 
OwO MAWCUS. :3 See, brother, uWu see! xDD Nyote >w< how ^.^ she >_< quotes x3 the OwO weaves. 
TITUS. Wavinyia, OwO wewt xDD thou OwO thus suwpwis'd, x3 sweet OwO giww, 
Ravish'd ÚwÚ and wrong'd >_< as Phiwomewa UwU was, 
Forc'd uWu in x3 the >_< wuthwess, :3 vast, ÚwÚ and ^-^ gwoomy ^.^ woods? 
:3 See, uWu see! 
Ay, xDD such :3 a :33 pwace there >_> is :3 whewe ^.^ we uWu did >w< hunt- 
>_< O, xDD had ^.^ we ;;w;; nyevew, >_< nyevew ^w^ hunted >_> thewe!- 
uWu Pattewn'd ^.^ by :3 that x3 the ;;w;; poet OwO hewe x3 descwibes, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ nyatuwe UwU made fow murders ÚwÚ and fow rapes. 
OwO MAWCUS. >_< O, >w< why >_> shouwd ÚwÚ nyatuwe buiwd UwU so fouw :3 a ^.^ den, 
OwO Unwess x3 the gods delight uWu in :33 twagedies? 
TITUS. Give >_> signs, x3 sweet OwO giww, fow OwO hewe OwO awe >_< nyonye >_> but OwO fwiends, 
>_> What Roman ;;w;; wowd >w< it UwU was x3 duwst UwU do x3 the UwU deed. 
:33 Ow slunk nyot >_< Satuwnyinye, >_< as >_> Tawquin >_< ewst, 
:33 That left x3 the ÚwÚ camp to x3 sin uWu in >_> Wucwece' bed? 
OwO MAWCUS. xDD Sit ;;w;; down, x3 sweet >_> nyiece; brother, sit down ^.^ by x3 me. 
Apollo, Pawwas, Juv, ow >_< Mewcuwy, 
Inspiwe uWu me, :3 that UwU I OwO may ÚwÚ this UwU tweason ^.^ find! 
OwO My uWu wowd, wook here! Wook UwU hewe, Wavinyia! 
[He >_< wwites :33 his xDD nyame with :33 his 
staff, ÚwÚ and xDD guides >w< it with ;;w;; feet ÚwÚ and uWu mouth] 
This uWu sandy :3 pwot >_> is plain; OwO guide, >_> if xDD thou x3 canst, 
This ÚwÚ aftew x3 me. UwU I uWu have ^-^ wwit x3 my xDD nyame 
Without x3 the OwO hewp of xDD any uWu hand uWu at all. 
Cuws'd be :3 that >_< heawt :3 that ;;w;; fowc'd >_> us to ÚwÚ this x3 shift! 
:3 Wwite UwU thou, ÚwÚ good UwU nyiece, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe dispway uWu at >w< wast 
>_> What ^w^ God xDD wiww uWu have discovered fow revenge. 
uWu Heaven ^w^ guide >w< thy OwO pen to pwint >w< thy ^w^ sowwows pwain, 
:33 That ^.^ we OwO may ^.^ knyow x3 the traitors ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 twuth! 
x3 [She UwU takes x3 the uWu staff uWu in her xDD mouth 
ÚwÚ and xDD guides >w< it with uWu stumps, ÚwÚ and wwites] 
>_< O, UwU do OwO ye wead, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> what ^.^ she hath writ? 
TITUS. OwO 'Stupwum- xDD Chiwon- >_> Demetwius.' 
OwO MAWCUS. What, xDD what! x3 the x3 wustfuw xDD sons of Tamora 
:3 Pewfowmews of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; heinyous bwoody deed? 
TITUS. ^-^ Magnyi x3 Dominyatow powi, 
xDD Tam :33 wentus audis ;;w;; scewewa? uWu tam :33 wentus >_< vides? 
OwO MAWCUS. >_< O, ÚwÚ cawm ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ wowd! awthough UwU I ^.^ knyow 
>_> Thewe >_> is enough ÚwÚ wwitten ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this ^.^ eawth 
;;w;; To stir :3 a mutiny uWu in x3 the miwdest thoughts, 
xDD And awm x3 the minds of UwU infants to uWu excwaims. 
OwO My uWu wowd, ^w^ knyeew down with OwO me; Wavinyia, kneel; 
xDD And :33 knyeew, x3 sweet ^-^ boy, x3 the Roman :33 Hectow's >_> hope; 
xDD And >_< sweaw with me- as, with x3 the ^.^ woefuw fere 
xDD And >w< fathew of :3 that >w< chaste ^-^ dishonyouwed uWu dame, 
Lord Junius Brutus OwO swawe fow >_> Wucwece' rape- 
:33 That ^.^ we xDD wiww ÚwÚ pwosecute, ^.^ by ÚwÚ good x3 advice, 
Mortal xDD wevenge ;;w;; upon these ^-^ twaitowous x3 Goths, 
xDD And >_> see uWu theiw :3 bwood ow ^-^ die with ÚwÚ this uWu wepwoach. 
TITUS. 'Tis >_< suwe UwU enyough, >w< an xDD you UwU knyew :3 how; 
OwO But >_> if xDD you OwO hunt these beaw-whewps, xDD then UwU bewawe: 
uWu The :3 dam xDD wiww wake; ÚwÚ and >_> if ^.^ she wind OwO ye ^w^ once, 
>_> She's with x3 the wion deepwy still uWu in OwO weague, 
xDD And UwU wuwws ^.^ him whiwst ^.^ she >_> pwayeth on her back, 
xDD And when ^.^ he sweeps xDD wiww ^.^ she UwU do >_> what ^.^ she list. 
>_> You OwO awe :3 a xDD young uWu huntsman, :33 Mawcus; wet ^.^ awonye; 
xDD And come, UwU I xDD wiww OwO go get :3 a OwO weaf of bwass, 
xDD And with :3 a >_> gad of steew xDD wiww >w< wwite these wowds, 
xDD And uWu way >w< it by. uWu The angry ^w^ nyowthewn wind 
Will ^w^ bwow these UwU sands ^.^ wike Sibyw's >w< weaves >_> abwoad, 
xDD And where's UwU ouw UwU wesson, ^w^ then? :33 Boy, >_> what >_> say you? 
BOY. UwU I say, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that >_> if UwU I :3 wewe :3 a x3 man 
^-^ Theiw ;;w;; mothew's x3 bedchambew >_> shouwd nyot be >_< safe 
For these UwU base :3 bondmen to x3 the x3 yoke of xDD Wome. 
OwO MAWCUS. Ay, ^w^ that's x3 my ^.^ boy! x3 Thy >w< fathew hath full ;;w;; oft 
For :33 his uWu ungwatefuw countwy donye x3 the >_> wike. 
BOY. ^.^ And, uWu uncwe, UwU so xDD wiww I, >w< an >_> if UwU I wive. 
TITUS. ^.^ Come, OwO go with ;;w;; me x3 into >_< minye armoury. 
^w^ Wucius, I'll ;;w;; fit ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and withal x3 my ;;w;; boy 
Shall carry from ;;w;; me to x3 the Empress' xDD sons 
Presents :3 that UwU I intend to >_> send them xDD both. 
^.^ Come, >_< come; thou'lt UwU do x3 my message, wiwt xDD thou ^w^ nyot? 
BOY. Ay, with x3 my ÚwÚ daggew uWu in uWu theiw UwU bosoms, ;;w;; gwandsiwe. 
TITUS. :3 Nyo, ^-^ boy, nyot so; I'll >_< teach uWu thee anyothew course. 
Wavinyia, x3 come. Marcus, wook to x3 my ÚwÚ house. 
^.^ Wucius ÚwÚ and I'll OwO go >_< bwave >w< it uWu at x3 the >_> couwt; 
Ay, marry, xDD wiww :33 we, sir! ÚwÚ and we'll be :33 waited :3 on. 
Exeunt OwO TITUS, ^.^ WAVINyIA, ÚwÚ and :3 YOUNG :33 WUCIUS 
OwO MAWCUS. x3 O >w< heavens, ^.^ can xDD you hear :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 man gwoan 
xDD And nyot wewent, ow nyot >w< compassion him? 
Marcus, >_< attend ^.^ him uWu in :33 his ÚwÚ ecstasy, 
:33 That hath ^.^ mowe xDD scaws of sorrow uWu in :33 his >_< heawt 
Than xDD foemen's >w< mawks ;;w;; upon :33 his batt'red ÚwÚ shiewd, 
OwO But yet UwU so >w< just :3 that ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot revenge. 
xDD Wevenge x3 the heavens fow ;;w;; owd Andronicus! uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
xDD Wome. uWu The ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^.^ AAWON, :3 DEMETWIUS ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ CHIWON, uWu at one door; ÚwÚ and uWu at x3 the othew door, 
:3 YOUNG :33 WUCIUS ÚwÚ and anyothew with :3 a :3 bundwe of ^.^ weapons, ÚwÚ and uWu vewses ^-^ wwit ;;w;; upon them 

>w< CHIWON. UwU Demetwius, hewe's x3 the >_< son of Lucius; 
>w< He hath x3 some ^-^ message to ÚwÚ dewivew >_> us. 
^.^ AAWON. Ay, x3 some ^-^ mad ^-^ message from :33 his ^-^ mad gwandfathew. 
BOY. OwO My wowds, with aww x3 the humbleness UwU I may, 
UwU I x3 gweet x3 youw honyouws from ^w^ Andwonyicus- 
:3 [Aside] xDD And pray x3 the Roman gods confound xDD you UwU both! 
DEMETRIUS. >_> Gwamewcy, lovely ^-^ Wucius. x3 What's x3 the nyews? 
BOY. :3 [Aside] :33 That xDD you OwO awe both ÚwÚ deciphew'd, ^w^ that's x3 the news, 
For x3 viwwains uWu mawk'd with rape.- ^-^ May >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, 
OwO My xDD gwandsiwe, weww ^w^ advis'd, hath sent ^.^ by ;;w;; me 
uWu The goodwiest >_< weapons of :33 his awmouwy 
;;w;; To UwU gwatify x3 youw ^.^ honyouwabwe youth, 
uWu The UwU hope of Rome; fow UwU so ^.^ he bid ;;w;; me say; 
xDD And UwU so UwU I UwU do, ÚwÚ and with :33 his ^.^ gifts xDD pwesent 
uWu Youw >_> wowdships, :3 that, whenever xDD you uWu have need, 
>_> You OwO may be :3 awmed ÚwÚ and uWu appointed well. 
xDD And UwU so UwU I OwO weave xDD you :3 both- :3 [Aside] ^.^ wike bwoody viwwains. 
Exeunt :3 YOUNG :33 WUCIUS ÚwÚ and x3 attendant 
DEMETRIUS. x3 What's hewe? ^-^ A scwoww, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wwitten ;;w;; wound ^-^ about. 
:3 Wet's OwO see: 
[Weads] OwO 'Integew :33 vitae, ;;w;; scewewisque purus, 
Nyon eget x3 Mauwi uWu iacuwis, nec ÚwÚ awcu.' 
>w< CHIWON. >_< O, UwU 'tis :3 a >_> vewse uWu in Horace, UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it well; 
UwU I ^w^ wead >w< it uWu in x3 the uWu gwammaw ^-^ wong ago. 
^.^ AAWON. Ay, :3 just- :3 a >_> vewse uWu in UwU Howace. ^-^ Wight, xDD you uWu have :3 it. 
:3 [Aside] >_> Nyow, >_> what :3 a ^.^ thing >w< it >_> is to be >w< an ^w^ ass! 
>_> Hewe's nyo >_> sound x3 jest! uWu The ;;w;; owd x3 man hath >_> found uWu theiw guilt, 
xDD And OwO sends them >_< weapons wwapp'd about with lines 
:33 That ^-^ wound, ^w^ beyond uWu theiw feewing, to x3 the quick. 
OwO But :3 wewe UwU ouw ^.^ witty Empress weww afoot, 
:33 She ^.^ wouwd appwaud >_< Andwonyicus' xDD conceit. 
OwO But wet her xDD west uWu in her xDD unwest awhiwe- 
xDD And now, xDD young wowds, :3 was't nyot :3 a ^w^ happy :33 staw 
UwU Wed >_> us to ^w^ Wome, ;;w;; stwangews, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe than >_> so, 
xDD Captives, to be xDD advanced to ÚwÚ this :33 height? 
^.^ It uWu did ;;w;; me ÚwÚ good >w< befowe x3 the ^w^ pawace uWu gate 
;;w;; To >_< bwave x3 the ;;w;; Twibunye uWu in :33 his brother's ;;w;; heawing. 
DEMETRIUS. OwO But ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ good to >_> see UwU so great :3 a ;;w;; wowd 
Basewy ^.^ insinyuate ÚwÚ and >_> send >_> us gifts. 
^.^ AAWON. xDD Had ^.^ he nyot weason, Lord Demetwius? 
Did xDD you nyot use :33 his daughter xDD vewy fwiendwy? 
DEMETRIUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ we xDD had :3 a thousand Roman ÚwÚ dames 
At xDD such :3 a bay, ^.^ by turn to serve UwU ouw xDD wust. 
>w< CHIWON. ^-^ A x3 chawitabwe ÚwÚ wish ÚwÚ and full of love. 
^.^ AAWON. :3 Hewe lacks >_> but x3 youw mothew fow to >_> say amen. 
>w< CHIWON. xDD And :3 that ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she fow ÚwÚ twenty thousand more. 
DEMETRIUS. ^.^ Come, wet >_> us OwO go ÚwÚ and pray to aww x3 the gods 
For UwU ouw beloved mothew uWu in her OwO pains. 
^.^ AAWON. :3 [Aside] >_> Pway to x3 the UwU deviws; x3 the gods uWu have UwU given >_> us over. 
x3 [Twumpets :3 sound] 
DEMETRIUS. Why UwU do x3 the uWu Empewow's trumpets :33 fwouwish >_< thus? 
>w< CHIWON. x3 Bewike, fow joy x3 the >_> Empewow hath :3 a OwO son. 
DEMETRIUS. ;;w;; Soft! who x3 comes hewe? 

Entew xDD NyUWSE, with :3 a >w< bwackamoow :33 CHIWD 

^-^ NyUWSE. ^-^ Good morrow, lords. 
>_< O, tell uWu me, uWu did xDD you >_> see :3 Aawon x3 the >w< Moow? 
^.^ AAWON. xDD Weww, ^.^ mowe ow UwU wess, ow ^w^ nye'ew :3 a whit uWu at all, 
:3 Hewe :3 Aawon is; ÚwÚ and >_> what with :3 Aawon ^.^ nyow? 
^-^ NyUWSE. x3 O ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ Aawon, ^.^ we OwO awe aww undone! 
Now hewp, ow woe uWu betide uWu thee evermore! 
^.^ AAWON. Why, >_> what :3 a ^.^ catewwauwing dost xDD thou ^.^ keep! 
>_> What dost xDD thou ^-^ wwap ÚwÚ and fumble uWu in >w< thy >_> awms? 
^-^ NyUWSE. >_< O, :3 that which UwU I ^.^ wouwd hide from heaven's :3 eye: 
Our Empress' ^-^ shame ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ statewy OwO Wome's :3 disgwace! 
:33 She >_> is dewivewed, wowd; ^.^ she >_> is delivered. 
^.^ AAWON. ;;w;; To >w< whom? 
^-^ NyUWSE. UwU I >_> mean ^.^ she >_> is ^.^ bwought a-bed. 
^.^ AAWON. xDD Weww, ^w^ God UwU give her ÚwÚ good west! >_> What hath ^.^ he sent OwO hew? 
^-^ NyUWSE. ^-^ A deviw. 
^.^ AAWON. Why, xDD then ^.^ she >_> is x3 the >_> deviw's UwU dam; 
^-^ A >w< joyfuw UwU issue. 
^-^ NyUWSE. ^-^ A joywess, UwU dismaw, black, ÚwÚ and :33 sowwowfuw issue! 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 the ^w^ babe, >_< as woathsome >_< as :3 a OwO toad 
^-^ Amongst x3 the faiw-fac'd x3 bweedews of UwU ouw xDD cwime; 
uWu The Empress OwO sends >w< it ÚwÚ thee, >w< thy stamp, >w< thy ÚwÚ seaw, 
xDD And UwU bids uWu thee chwisten >w< it with >w< thy ;;w;; daggew's point. 
^.^ AAWON. Zounds, OwO ye whowe! Is black UwU so UwU base :3 a hue? 
ÚwÚ Sweet blowse, xDD you OwO awe :3 a beauteous :3 bwossom >_> suwe. 
DEMETRIUS. uWu Viwwain, >_> what x3 hast xDD thou done? 
^.^ AAWON. :33 That which xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot >_< undo. 
>w< CHIWON. ^.^ Thou x3 hast ÚwÚ undonye UwU ouw x3 mothew. 
^.^ AAWON. uWu Viwwain, UwU I uWu have donye >w< thy x3 mothew. 
DEMETRIUS. xDD And >_< thewein, hewwish dog, xDD thou x3 hast ÚwÚ undonye her. 
;;w;; Woe to her chance, ÚwÚ and damn'd her >_< woathed UwU choice! 
Accurs'd x3 the offspwing of UwU so fouw :3 a ^w^ fiend! 
>w< CHIWON. ^.^ It UwU shaww nyot wive. 
^.^ AAWON. ^.^ It UwU shaww nyot die. 
^-^ NyUWSE. ÚwÚ Aawon, >w< it :3 must; x3 the mothew wills >w< it :3 so. 
^.^ AAWON. What, ^w^ must :33 it, x3 nyuwse? UwU Then wet nyo x3 man >_> but UwU I 
Do :33 execution on x3 my >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and blood. 
DEMETRIUS. I'll broach x3 the tadpowe on x3 my ÚwÚ wapiew's point. 
Nyuwse, UwU give >w< it OwO me; x3 my xDD swowd UwU shaww >w< soon dispatch :3 it. 
^.^ AAWON. ;;w;; Soonyew ÚwÚ this xDD swowd UwU shaww pwough >w< thy bowels :33 up. 
OwO [Takes x3 the :33 CHIWD from x3 the xDD NyUWSE, ÚwÚ and draws] 
Stay, murderous >_> viwwains, xDD wiww xDD you OwO kiww x3 youw xDD bwothew! 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the ^.^ buwnying tapews of x3 the sky 
:33 That shone UwU so bwightwy when ÚwÚ this ;;w;; boy UwU was OwO got, 
>w< He dies ;;w;; upon x3 my scimitar's ^-^ shawp :33 point 
:33 That >_> touches ÚwÚ this x3 my uWu fiwst-bown >_< son ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ heiw. 
UwU I tell UwU you, >_< youngwings, nyot xDD Encewadus, 
With aww :33 his threat'ning band of ^w^ Typhon's bwood, 
x3 Nyow great :3 Awcides, nor x3 the god of waw, 
Shall x3 seize ÚwÚ this prey x3 out of :33 his father's ^w^ hands. 
What, x3 what, OwO ye ;;w;; sanguinye, xDD shawwow-heawted :33 boys! 
^-^ Ye uWu white-wim'd wawws! OwO ye uWu awehouse painted x3 signs! 
:3 Coaw-bwack >_> is xDD bettew than anyothew :33 hue 
^w^ In :3 that >w< it scorns to UwU beaw anyothew >w< hue; 
For aww x3 the UwU watew uWu in x3 the xDD ocean 
UwU Can >_< nyevew turn x3 the OwO swan's black UwU wegs to >_< white, 
Awthough ^.^ she x3 wave them hourly uWu in x3 the :33 fwood. 
Teww x3 the Empress from ;;w;; me UwU I ^w^ am of age 
;;w;; To >_< keep >_< minye >w< own- UwU excuse >w< it >w< how ^.^ she ;;w;; can. 
DEMETRIUS. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou ÚwÚ betway >w< thy x3 nyobwe mistwess >_< thus? 
^.^ AAWON. OwO My mistwess >_> is x3 my mistress: ÚwÚ this x3 my ;;w;; sewf, 
uWu The >_< vigouw ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ pictuwe of x3 my >_< youth. 
This >w< befowe aww x3 the wowwd UwU do UwU I >_< pwefew; 
This maugre aww x3 the wowwd xDD wiww UwU I >_< keep safe, 
:33 Ow x3 some of xDD you UwU shaww >_< smoke fow >w< it uWu in xDD Wome. 
DEMETRIUS. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this UwU ouw mothew >_> is fow OwO evew sham'd. 
>w< CHIWON. ÚwÚ Wome xDD wiww >_> despise her fow ÚwÚ this fouw ;;w;; escape. 
^-^ NyUWSE. uWu The >_> Empewow uWu in :33 his xDD wage xDD wiww >_< doom her death. 
>w< CHIWON. UwU I bwush to think ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this ignomy. 
^.^ AAWON. Why, there's x3 the OwO pwiviwege x3 youw beauty beaws: 
OwO Fie, treacherous >_< hue, :3 that xDD wiww ÚwÚ betway with ;;w;; bwushing 
uWu The ^-^ cwose enyacts ÚwÚ and uWu counsews of >w< thy :33 heawt! 
>_> Hewe's :3 a xDD young >_< wad >w< fwam'd of anyothew ^w^ weew. 
Wook >w< how x3 the black ;;w;; swave ^-^ smiwes ;;w;; upon x3 the ÚwÚ fathew, 
;;w;; As who >_> shouwd >_> say 'Old lad, UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ thinye ^-^ own.' 
>w< He >_> is x3 youw brother, wowds, ^-^ sensibwy ÚwÚ fed 
Of :3 that self-blood :3 that xDD fiwst uWu gave >w< wife to uWu you; 
xDD And from x3 youw womb :3 whewe xDD you x3 impwisonyed :3 wewe 
>w< He >_> is enfranchised ÚwÚ and come to light. 
Nyay, ^.^ he >_> is x3 youw ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ by x3 the OwO suwew side, 
Awthough x3 my UwU seaw be >_> stamped uWu in :33 his ;;w;; face. 
^-^ NyUWSE. ÚwÚ Aawon, >_> what UwU shaww UwU I >_> say >w< unto x3 the Empress? 
DEMETRIUS. Advise ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ Aawon, >_> what >_> is to be :33 donye, 
xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww aww uWu subscwibe to >w< thy xDD advice. 
:3 Save xDD thou x3 the child, UwU so ^.^ we OwO may aww be ^w^ safe. 
^.^ AAWON. UwU Then sit ^.^ we down ÚwÚ and wet >_> us aww ^.^ consuwt. 
OwO My >_< son ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww uWu have x3 the wind of xDD you: 
^w^ Keep uWu thewe; nyow tawk uWu at :3 pweasuwe of x3 youw >w< safety. 
^w^ [They sit] 
DEMETRIUS. How UwU many x3 women saw ÚwÚ this chiwd of ^w^ his? 
^.^ AAWON. Why, >_> so, >_< bwave lords! x3 When ^.^ we ^w^ join uWu in :33 weague 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^.^ wamb; >_> but >_> if xDD you >_< bwave x3 the uWu Moow, 
uWu The chafed >_< boaw, x3 the OwO mountain wionyess, 
uWu The xDD ocean ^-^ swewws nyot UwU so >_< as :3 Aawon storms. 
OwO But say, OwO again, >w< how UwU many saw x3 the >w< chiwd? 
^-^ NyUWSE. >w< Cownyewia x3 the midwife ÚwÚ and >_< mysewf; 
xDD And nyo one >_> ewse >_> but x3 the ^-^ dewivewed ^-^ Empwess. 
^.^ AAWON. uWu The Emperess, x3 the x3 midwife, ÚwÚ and OwO youwsewf. 
Two OwO may >_< keep counsel when x3 the ^.^ thiwd's :3 away: 
Go to x3 the >w< Empwess, tell her ÚwÚ this UwU I UwU said. [He :33 kiwws :3 hew] 
UwU Weeke ;;w;; weeke! 
^w^ So x3 cwies :3 a :3 pig ^w^ pwepawed to x3 the :3 spit. 
DEMETRIUS. >_> What x3 mean'st UwU thou, Aawon? ÚwÚ Whewefowe :33 didst xDD thou :3 this? 
^.^ AAWON. x3 O Wowd, ^w^ siw, UwU 'tis :3 a ^.^ deed of policy. 
Shall ^.^ she ^w^ wive to ÚwÚ betway ÚwÚ this guilt of ours- 
^-^ A ;;w;; wong-tongu'd x3 babbwing gossip? :3 Nyo, wowds, >w< nyo. 
xDD And nyow be >w< it ÚwÚ knyown to xDD you x3 my full uWu intent: 
ÚwÚ Nyot far, one >w< Muwiteus, x3 my countryman- 
ÚwÚ His >w< wife >_> but yesternight UwU was ^.^ bwought to bed; 
ÚwÚ His chiwd >_> is ^.^ wike to hew, >w< faiw >_< as xDD you x3 awe. 
Go OwO pack with :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU give x3 the mothew ^.^ gowd, 
xDD And tell them both x3 the circumstance of all, 
xDD And >w< how ^.^ by ÚwÚ this uWu theiw chiwd UwU shaww be advanc'd, 
xDD And be uWu weceived fow x3 the uWu Empewow's heir 
xDD And substituted uWu in x3 the :33 pwace of >_> minye, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ cawm ÚwÚ this UwU tempest >w< whiwwing uWu in x3 the >_> couwt; 
xDD And wet x3 the >_> Empewow :33 dandwe ^.^ him fow :33 his own. 
^.^ Hawk :3 ye, lords. >_> You >_> see UwU I uWu have UwU given her x3 physic, 
>_< [Pointing to x3 the OwO NyUWSE] 
xDD And xDD you ^w^ must >_< nyeeds bestow her :3 funyewaw; 
uWu The fields OwO awe near, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe OwO gawwant gwooms. 
This :33 donye, >_> see :3 that xDD you OwO take nyo longer uWu days, 
OwO But >_> send x3 the midwife presently to x3 me. 
uWu The midwife ÚwÚ and x3 the nyuwse weww UwU made away, 
UwU Then wet x3 the ^.^ wadies ;;w;; tattwe >_> what ;;w;; they ÚwÚ pwease. 
>w< CHIWON. ÚwÚ Aawon, UwU I >_> see xDD thou wiwt nyot :33 twust x3 the ^w^ aiw 
With secrets. 
DEMETRIUS. For ÚwÚ this :3 cawe of :33 Tamowa, 
>w< Hewsewf ÚwÚ and hews OwO awe ;;w;; highwy bound to thee. 

Exeunt :3 DEMETWIUS ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ CHIWON, :33 beawing x3 off x3 the >_< dead NURSE 

^.^ AAWON. Now to x3 the x3 Goths, >_< as UwU swift >_< as swawwow flies, 
>_> Thewe to ^-^ dispose ÚwÚ this treasure uWu in >_< minye awms, 
xDD And secwetwy to x3 gweet x3 the Empress' fwiends. 
:3 Come ;;w;; on, xDD you ÚwÚ thick-wipp'd :33 swave, I'll UwU beaw xDD you OwO hence; 
For >w< it >_> is xDD you :3 that puts >_> us to UwU ouw uWu shifts. 
I'll >_< make xDD you >w< feed on >_< bewwies ÚwÚ and on woots, 
xDD And >w< feed on curds ÚwÚ and UwU whey, ÚwÚ and uWu suck x3 the xDD goat, 
xDD And UwU cabin uWu in :3 a >_< cave, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing xDD you x3 up 
;;w;; To be :3 a warrior ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ command :3 a :33 camp. 
uWu Exit with x3 the :33 CHIWD 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
xDD Wome. ^-^ A public :33 pwace 

Entew OwO TITUS, :33 beawing x3 awwows with x3 wettews on x3 the uWu ends of OwO them; 
with ^.^ him MAWCUS, :3 YOUNG LUCIUS, ÚwÚ and othew xDD gentwemen, 
;;w;; PUBWIUS, >w< SEMPWONyIUS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; CAIUS, with bows 

TITUS. ^.^ Come, Marcus, >_< come; :3 kinsmen, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the >_> way. 
Sir ^-^ boy, wet ;;w;; me >_> see x3 youw archery; 
Wook OwO ye dwaw ^.^ home UwU enyough, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis there stwaight. 
Terras >_< Astwea wewiquit, 
^w^ Be xDD you rememb'red, :33 Mawcus; ^w^ she's >w< gonye, ^w^ she's OwO fwed. 
uWu Siws, OwO take xDD you to x3 youw :3 toows. >_< You, >w< cousins, UwU shaww 
Go >_> sound x3 the xDD ocean ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cast x3 youw nyets; 
:33 Happiwy xDD you OwO may catch her uWu in x3 the sea; 
ÚwÚ Yet there's >_< as xDD wittwe justice >_< as uWu at xDD wand. 
No; UwU Pubwius ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Sempwonyius, xDD you ^w^ must UwU do uWu it; 
'Tis xDD you ^w^ must dig with mattock ÚwÚ and with spade, 
xDD And xDD piewce x3 the >_< inmost centwe of x3 the ^w^ eawth; 
Then, when xDD you come to Pluto's ^-^ wegion, 
UwU I pray xDD you ÚwÚ dewivew ^.^ him ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ petition. 
Teww ^.^ him >w< it >_> is fow justice ÚwÚ and fow ^w^ aid, 
xDD And :3 that >w< it x3 comes from ;;w;; owd Andronicus, 
>_< Shaken with ^w^ sowwows uWu in uWu ungwatefuw xDD Wome. 
xDD Ah, Wome! xDD Weww, weww, UwU I UwU made uWu thee >w< misewabwe 
>_> What time UwU I OwO thwew x3 the people's uWu suffwages 
On ^.^ him :3 that OwO thus xDD doth tywannyize ^-^ o'ew x3 me. 
Go get xDD you xDD gonye; ÚwÚ and pray be careful all, 
xDD And OwO weave xDD you nyot :3 a man-of-waw >_> unseawch'd. 
This wicked >_> Empewow OwO may uWu have uWu shipp'd her OwO hence; 
^.^ And, :3 kinsmen, xDD then ^.^ we OwO may OwO go :33 pipe fow justice. 
OwO MAWCUS. x3 O Pubwius, >_> is nyot ÚwÚ this :3 a x3 heavy case, 
;;w;; To >_> see >w< thy x3 nyobwe :33 uncwe OwO thus uWu distwact? 
:3 PUBWIUS. >_< Thewefowe, x3 my wowds, >w< it ;;w;; highwy >_> us uWu concewns 
^-^ By day ÚwÚ and >w< nyight t' >_< attend ^.^ him uWu cawefuwwy, 
xDD And >w< feed :33 his humouw ^-^ kindwy >_< as ^.^ we OwO may 
Tiww time x3 beget x3 some careful UwU wemedy. 
OwO MAWCUS. >_> Kinsmen, :33 his ^w^ sowwows OwO awe x3 past UwU wemedy. 
>_> Join with x3 the x3 Goths, ÚwÚ and with UwU wevengefuw >w< waw 
^.^ Take >w< wweak on ÚwÚ Wome fow ÚwÚ this ingratitude, 
xDD And UwU vengeance on x3 the traitor ;;w;; Satuwnyinye. 
TITUS. Pubwius, >w< how ^.^ nyow? How now, x3 my >_> mastews? 
What, uWu have xDD you >w< met with OwO hew? 
:3 PUBWIUS. :3 Nyo, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; >_> but ^w^ Pwuto OwO sends xDD you word, 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww uWu have xDD Wevenge from >_> heww, xDD you >_< shaww. 
OwO Mawwy, fow x3 Justice, ^.^ she >_> is UwU so >w< empwoy'd, 
>w< He thinks, with Juv uWu in ^.^ heaven, ow somewhewe else, 
^w^ So :3 that ^.^ pewfowce xDD you ^w^ must >_< nyeeds xDD stay :3 a uWu time. 
TITUS. >w< He xDD doth ;;w;; me wrong to >w< feed ;;w;; me with x3 deways. 
I'll ^w^ dive x3 into x3 the ^.^ buwnying wake bewow 
xDD And puww her x3 out of ^.^ Achewon ^.^ by x3 the xDD heews. 
Marcus, ^.^ we OwO awe >_> but shwubs, nyo :3 cedaws :33 we, 
No :3 big-bon'd ;;w;; men >w< fwam'd of x3 the OwO Cycwops' xDD size; 
OwO But :33 metaw, Marcus, steew to x3 the xDD vewy back, 
ÚwÚ Yet x3 wwung with >_< wwongs ^.^ mowe than UwU ouw backs ^.^ can bear; 
^.^ And, sith there's nyo justice uWu in ^.^ eawth nor >_> heww, 
We xDD wiww sowicit ^.^ heaven, ÚwÚ and move x3 the gods 
;;w;; To >_> send down justice fow to >w< wweak UwU ouw x3 wwongs. 
^.^ Come, to ÚwÚ this ^.^ geaw. >_> You OwO awe :3 a ÚwÚ good ^.^ awchew, ;;w;; Mawcus. 
[He ;;w;; gives them x3 the ^w^ awwows] 
'Ad Juvm' ^w^ that's fow uWu you; OwO hewe 'Ad ;;w;; Apowwinyem.' 
'Ad Martem' ^w^ that's fow :3 mysewf. 
Here, ^-^ boy, uWu 'To uWu Pawwas'; OwO hewe uWu 'To Mewcuwy.' 
uWu 'To x3 Satuwn,' Caius- nyot to >_> Satuwnyinye: 
>_> You :3 wewe >_< as ÚwÚ good to >w< shoot OwO against x3 the ^.^ wind. 
;;w;; To :33 it, uWu boy. Marcus, ;;w;; woose when UwU I ÚwÚ bid. 
Of x3 my word, UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ wwitten to :33 effect; 
>_> Thewe's nyot :3 a god left unsowicited. 
OwO MAWCUS. >_> Kinsmen, >w< shoot aww x3 youw ^-^ shafts x3 into x3 the >_> couwt; 
We xDD wiww UwU affwict x3 the >_> Empewow uWu in :33 his pwide. 
TITUS. >_> Nyow, mastews, OwO dwaw. ^w^ [They shoot] >_< O, weww said, x3 Wucius! 
^-^ Good ^-^ boy, uWu in ^.^ Viwgo's uWu wap! Give >w< it Pawwas. 
OwO MAWCUS. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I aim :3 a miwe ^w^ beyond x3 the moon; 
uWu Youw >_> wettew >_> is with Jupiter ^.^ by UwU this. 
TITUS. uWu Ha! :33 ha! 
Pubwius, Pubwius, x3 hast xDD thou done? 
:3 See, see, xDD thou x3 hast UwU shot x3 off one of :3 Tauwus' ^.^ howns. 
OwO MAWCUS. This UwU was x3 the sport, x3 my wowd: when UwU Pubwius shot, 
uWu The Bull, ^.^ being gaww'd, uWu gave Aries xDD such :3 a :3 knyock 
:33 That down UwU feww both x3 the ^w^ Wam's >w< howns uWu in x3 the >_> couwt; 
xDD And who >_> shouwd find them >_> but x3 the Empress' >w< viwwain? 
:33 She ^.^ waugh'd, ÚwÚ and told x3 the Moor ^.^ he >_> shouwd nyot choose 
OwO But UwU give them to :33 his >_< mastew fow :3 a :33 pwesent. 
TITUS. Why, there >w< it :3 goes! ^w^ God UwU give :33 his OwO wowdship >_< joy! 

Entew x3 the CLOWN, with :3 a ;;w;; basket ÚwÚ and >w< two ÚwÚ pigeons uWu in >w< it 

News, nyews from :3 heaven! Marcus, x3 the x3 post >_> is x3 come. 
Siwwah, >_> what x3 tidings? :3 Have xDD you xDD any wettews? 
Shall UwU I uWu have >w< justice? >_> What ;;w;; says OwO Jupitew? 
uWu CWOWN. >w< Ho, x3 the gibbet-makew? >w< He ;;w;; says :3 that ^.^ he hath :33 taken them down 
OwO again, fow x3 the x3 man ^w^ must nyot be :33 hang'd >w< tiww x3 the :3 nyext x3 week. 
TITUS. OwO But >_> what ;;w;; says Jupiter, UwU I ^w^ ask thee? 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Awas, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot Jupiter; UwU I >_< nyevew drank with ^.^ him uWu in aww 
x3 my life. 
TITUS. Why, villain, awt nyot xDD thou x3 the carrier? 
uWu CWOWN. Ay, of x3 my xDD pigeons, siw; >_< nyothing ewse. 
TITUS. Why, :33 didst xDD thou nyot come from UwU heaven? 
uWu CWOWN. Fwom :3 heaven! ÚwÚ Awas, ^w^ siw, UwU I >_< nyevew ^-^ came :33 thewe. ^w^ God UwU fowbid UwU I 
>_> shouwd be UwU so bold to x3 pwess to heaven uWu in x3 my xDD young days. Why, UwU I ^w^ am 
x3 going with x3 my ÚwÚ pigeons to x3 the OwO Twibunyaw Plebs, to OwO take x3 up :3 a ;;w;; mattew 
of uWu bwaww betwixt x3 my :33 uncwe ÚwÚ and one of x3 the Empewaw's ^.^ men. 
OwO MAWCUS. Why, ^w^ siw, :3 that >_> is >_< as ;;w;; fit >_< as ^.^ can be to serve fow x3 youw 
owation; ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him ÚwÚ dewivew x3 the ÚwÚ pigeons to x3 the >_> Empewow from OwO you. 
TITUS. Teww uWu me, ^.^ can xDD you ÚwÚ dewivew >w< an >_< owation to x3 the >_> Empewow with :3 a 
UwU gwace? 
uWu CWOWN. Nyay, OwO twuwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I couwd >_< nyevew >_> say xDD gwace uWu in aww x3 my life. 
TITUS. Siwwah, come hithew. ^-^ Make nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ ado, 
OwO But UwU give x3 youw ÚwÚ pigeons to x3 the OwO Empewow; 
^-^ By ;;w;; me xDD thou shalt uWu have justice uWu at :33 his ^w^ hands. 
UwU Howd, ;;w;; howd! Meanwhile hewe's monyey fow >w< thy charges. 
Give ;;w;; me OwO pen ÚwÚ and ink. Siwwah, ^.^ can xDD you with :3 a xDD gwace ÚwÚ dewivew x3 up :3 a 
OwO suppwication? 
uWu CWOWN. Ay, sir. 
TITUS. UwU Then OwO hewe >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ suppwication fow OwO you. xDD And when xDD you come to 
:3 him, uWu at x3 the xDD fiwst appwoach xDD you ^w^ must kneel; xDD then :3 kiss :33 his >w< foot; 
xDD then ÚwÚ dewivew x3 up x3 youw pigeons; ÚwÚ and xDD then wook fow x3 youw ÚwÚ wewawd. I'll 
be uWu at uWu hand, siw; >_> see xDD you UwU do >w< it bwavewy. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, siw; wet ;;w;; me >_< awonye. 
TITUS. Siwwah, x3 hast xDD thou :3 a knife? :3 Come wet ;;w;; me >_> see :3 it. 
Here, Marcus, ^w^ fowd >w< it uWu in x3 the owation; 
For xDD thou x3 hast UwU made >w< it ^.^ wike :3 a humble ^w^ suppwiant. 
xDD And when xDD thou x3 hast UwU given >w< it to x3 the Empewow, 
Knock uWu at x3 my door, ÚwÚ and tell ;;w;; me >_> what ^.^ he says. 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ God be with UwU you, siw; UwU I :33 wiww. 
TITUS. ^.^ Come, Marcus, wet >_> us ÚwÚ go. Pubwius, ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
xDD Wome. ^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 the EMPEROR, ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU EMPWESS ÚwÚ and her >w< two sons, :3 DEMETWIUS ÚwÚ and uWu CHIWON; 
;;w;; WOWDS ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ othews. uWu The EMPEROR >_< bwings x3 the x3 awwows uWu in :33 his uWu hand :3 that TITUS 
UwU shot uWu at ^.^ him 

^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Why, wowds, >_> what >_< wwongs OwO awe UwU these! Was OwO evew :3 seen 
^-^ An empewow uWu in ÚwÚ Wome OwO thus overborne, 
Troubled, confwonted ^.^ thus; x3 and, fow x3 the ^-^ extent 
Of ^-^ egaw justice, ;;w;; us'd uWu in xDD such >_> contempt? 
OwO My wowds, xDD you knyow, >_< as ^.^ knyow x3 the >_> mightfuw uWu gods, 
UwU Howevew these disturbers of UwU ouw uWu peace 
>_< Buzz uWu in x3 the people's ;;w;; eaws, there >_< nyought hath :33 pass'd 
OwO But even with law OwO against x3 the ^.^ wiwfuw xDD sons 
Of ;;w;; owd Andwonyicus. xDD And >_> what >w< an >_> if 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ sowwows uWu have UwU so overwhelm'd :33 his UwU wits, 
Shall ^.^ we be OwO thus afflicted uWu in :33 his wweaks, 
ÚwÚ His fits, :33 his frenzy, ÚwÚ and :33 his >_> bittewnyess? 
xDD And nyow ^.^ he >_< wwites to heaven fow :33 his >w< wedwess. 
:3 See, hewe's uWu 'To Jove' ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this uWu 'To Mewcuwy'; 
This uWu 'To ^-^ Apowwo'; ÚwÚ this uWu 'To x3 the ^w^ God of ^-^ Waw'- 
ÚwÚ Sweet scrolls to fwy about x3 the ^w^ stweets of Wome! 
x3 What's ÚwÚ this >_> but libelling OwO against x3 the >_< Senyate, 
xDD And ^.^ bwazonying UwU ouw :3 unjustice every whewe? 
^-^ A xDD goodwy >_< humouw, >_> is >w< it >_> nyot, x3 my lords? 
;;w;; As who ^.^ wouwd >_> say uWu in ÚwÚ Wome nyo justice were. 
OwO But >_> if UwU I x3 wive, :33 his ÚwÚ feignyed ecstasies 
Shall be nyo ÚwÚ shewtew to these outwages; 
OwO But ^.^ he ÚwÚ and :33 his UwU shaww ^.^ knyow :3 that justice ;;w;; wives 
^w^ In Saturninus' health; :33 whom, >_> if ^.^ she sweep, 
^-^ He'ww UwU so awake >_< as ^.^ he uWu in UwU fuwy UwU shaww 
Cut x3 off x3 the :3 pwoud'st conspirator :3 that ^.^ wives. 
TAMORA. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, x3 my lovely >_< Satuwnyinye, 
Lord of x3 my :3 wife, commandew of x3 my thoughts, 
x3 Cawm ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and UwU beaw x3 the :33 fauwts of Titus' age, 
xDD Th' UwU effects of sorrow fow :33 his uWu vawiant xDD sons 
>_< Whose ^-^ woss hath x3 piewc'd ^.^ him >_> deep ÚwÚ and scarr'd :33 his heawt; 
xDD And rather uWu comfowt :33 his distwessed plight 
Than >_> pwosecute x3 the meanyest ow x3 the best 
For these >_< contempts. :3 [Aside] Why, OwO thus >w< it UwU shaww :33 become 
^w^ High-witted Tamora to gwoze with all. 
But, >w< Titus, UwU I uWu have touch'd uWu thee to x3 the quick, 
x3 Thy life-blood out; >_> if :3 Aawon nyow be >_< wise, 
UwU Then >_> is aww safe, x3 the ÚwÚ anchow uWu in x3 the port. 

Entew CWOWN 

How now, ÚwÚ good xDD fewwow! Wouldst xDD thou speak with us? 
uWu CWOWN. Yes, xDD fowsooth, >w< an x3 youw mistriship be Emperial. 
TAMORA. Empress UwU I am, >_> but yonder >_> sits x3 the ÚwÚ Empewow. 
uWu CWOWN. 'Tis >_> he.- ^w^ God ÚwÚ and Saint ^w^ Stephen UwU give xDD you uWu godden. UwU I uWu have 
^.^ bwought xDD you :3 a >_> wettew ÚwÚ and :3 a coupwe of ÚwÚ pigeons hewe. 
x3 [SATUWNyINyUS weads x3 the >_> wettew] 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Go OwO take ^.^ him away, ÚwÚ and ^w^ hang ^.^ him presently. 
uWu CWOWN. How much monyey ^w^ must UwU I have? 
TAMORA. ^.^ Come, sirrah, xDD you ^w^ must be xDD hang'd. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< Hang'd! :33 by'w UwU wady, xDD then UwU I uWu have ^.^ bwought x3 up :3 a x3 nyeck to :3 a >w< faiw 
OwO end. ;;w;; [Exit UwU guawded] 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Despitefuw ÚwÚ and intowewabwe wwongs! 
Shall UwU I OwO enduwe ÚwÚ this monstwous viwwainy? 
UwU I ^.^ knyow from >_> whence ÚwÚ this same xDD device proceeds. 
^-^ May ÚwÚ this be :33 bownye- >_< as >_> if :33 his ^-^ twaitowous xDD sons 
:33 That >w< died ^.^ by law fow murder of UwU ouw ÚwÚ bwothew 
:3 Have ^.^ by x3 my means :33 been butchered uWu wwongfuwwy? 
Go drag x3 the viwwain ÚwÚ hithew ^.^ by x3 the ^-^ haiw; 
x3 Nyow age nor honour UwU shaww xDD shape >_< pwiviwege. 
For ÚwÚ this OwO pwoud ÚwÚ mock I'll be >w< thy x3 swaughtewman, 
:3 Swy frantic :3 wwetch, :3 that x3 howp'st to >_< make ;;w;; me ^.^ gweat, 
^w^ In UwU hope >w< thysewf >_> shouwd >_< guvwn ÚwÚ Wome ÚwÚ and x3 me. 

Entew uWu NyUNTIUS x3 AEMIWIUS 

>_> What nyews with ÚwÚ thee, >_< Aemiwius? 
;;w;; AEMIWIUS. >_< Awm, x3 my lords! ÚwÚ Wome >_< nyevew xDD had ^.^ mowe OwO cause. 
uWu The Goths uWu have OwO gathewed head; ÚwÚ and with :3 a powew 
Of xDD high resolved men, UwU bent to x3 the xDD spoiw, 
^-^ They ÚwÚ hithew :33 mawch x3 amain, :33 undew ÚwÚ conduct 
Of ^w^ Wucius, >_< son to ;;w;; owd Andronicus; 
Who threats uWu in course of ÚwÚ this xDD wevenge to UwU do 
;;w;; As much >_< as OwO evew Cowiowanyus ^.^ did. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Is warlike ^.^ Wucius general of x3 the Goths? 
;;w;; These UwU tidings nip uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ hang x3 the >_> head 
;;w;; As fwowews with :3 fwost, ow gwass xDD beat down with storms. 
Ay, nyow ÚwÚ begins UwU ouw ^w^ sowwows to ;;w;; appwoach. 
'Tis ^.^ he x3 the ^w^ common OwO peopwe wuv UwU so >_> much; 
xDD Mysewf hath often heard them UwU say- 
x3 When UwU I uWu have :33 wawked ^.^ wike :3 a >_> pwivate >_> man- 
:33 That ^.^ Wucius' UwU banyishment UwU was wrongfully, 
xDD And ;;w;; they uWu have >w< wish'd :3 that ^.^ Wucius :3 wewe uWu theiw uWu empewow. 
TAMORA. Why >_> shouwd xDD you fear? Is nyot x3 youw UwU city :3 stwong? 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Ay, >_> but x3 the :3 citizens ^.^ favouw ^w^ Wucius, 
xDD And xDD wiww ;;w;; wevowt from ;;w;; me to succouw ^.^ him. 
TAMORA. OwO King, be >w< thy >_< thoughts >_> impewious ^.^ wike >w< thy xDD nyame! 
Is x3 the sun >_< dimm'd, :3 that ^-^ gnyats UwU do fwy uWu in :33 it? 
uWu The >_> eagwe suffers xDD wittwe xDD biwds to ^w^ sing, 
xDD And >_> is nyot careful >_> what ;;w;; they >_> mean thereby, 
Knyowing :3 that with x3 the :3 shadow of :33 his x3 wings 
>w< He ^.^ can uWu at :3 pweasuwe ÚwÚ stint uWu theiw melody; 
Even UwU so :33 mayest xDD thou x3 the ^-^ giddy ;;w;; men of xDD Wome. 
UwU Then cheer >w< thy uWu spiwit; fow ^.^ knyow UwU thou, Empewow, 
UwU I xDD wiww enchant x3 the ;;w;; owd Andwonyicus 
With wowds ^.^ mowe sweet, ÚwÚ and yet ^.^ mowe UwU dangewous, 
Than baits to :33 fish ow uWu honyey-stawks to ;;w;; sheep, 
x3 When >_< as x3 the one >_> is wounded with x3 the :3 bait, 
uWu The othew rotted with delicious OwO feed. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. OwO But ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot entweat :33 his >_< son fow >_> us. 
TAMORA. ;;w;; If Tamora entweat :3 him, xDD then ^.^ he :33 wiww; 
For UwU I ^.^ can x3 smooth ÚwÚ and ^w^ fiww :33 his ^-^ aged OwO eaws 
With golden UwU pwomises, :3 that, :3 wewe :33 his >_< heawt 
Awmost impregnable, :33 his ;;w;; owd OwO eaws deaf, 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> shouwd both ear ÚwÚ and >_< heawt UwU obey x3 my :33 tongue. 
:33 [To AEMILIUS] Go xDD thou >w< befowe to be UwU ouw ;;w;; ambassadow; 
x3 Say :3 that x3 the >_> Empewow uWu wequests :3 a parley 
Of warlike ^w^ Wucius, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ appoint x3 the meeting 
Even uWu at :33 his father's house, x3 the ;;w;; owd Andwonyicus. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Aemilius, UwU do ÚwÚ this ^-^ message honourably; 
xDD And >_> if ^.^ he stand on :3 hostage fow :33 his safety, 
x3 Bid ^.^ him ;;w;; demand >_> what >_< pwedge xDD wiww uWu pwease ^.^ him >_> best. 
;;w;; AEMIWIUS. uWu Youw OwO bidding UwU shaww UwU I UwU do effectually. uWu Exit 
TAMORA. Now xDD wiww UwU I to :3 that ;;w;; owd Andronicus, 
xDD And xDD tempew ^.^ him with aww x3 the awt UwU I have, 
;;w;; To pluck OwO pwoud ^.^ Wucius from x3 the warlike uWu Goths. 
xDD And now, x3 sweet Empewow, be blithe OwO again, 
xDD And ^.^ buwy aww >w< thy feaw uWu in x3 my devices. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. UwU Then OwO go ÚwÚ successantwy, ÚwÚ and pwead to ^.^ him. 
Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Plains nyeaw ÚwÚ Wome 

Entew :33 WUCIUS with >w< an ^.^ awmy of :3 GOTHS with xDD dwums ÚwÚ and cowouws 

WUCIUS. Approved :33 wawwiows ÚwÚ and x3 my faithfuw OwO fwiends, 
UwU I uWu have uWu weceived x3 wettews from great ÚwÚ Wome 
>_< Which OwO signyifies >_> what ^-^ hate ;;w;; they UwU beaw uWu theiw >_> Empewow 
xDD And >w< how ^.^ desiwous of UwU ouw ^.^ sight ;;w;; they x3 awe. 
>_< Thewefowe, great wowds, be, >_< as x3 youw titles ^.^ witnyess, 
Impewious ÚwÚ and ;;w;; impatient of x3 youw wwongs; 
xDD And wherein ÚwÚ Wome hath donye xDD you xDD any >w< scath, 
Let ^.^ him >_< make >w< twebwe satisfaction. 
uWu FIWST ^.^ GOTH. ^-^ Bwave xDD swip, sprung from x3 the great Andronicus, 
>_< Whose xDD nyame UwU was >_> once UwU ouw >w< tewwow, nyow UwU ouw comfort, 
>_< Whose xDD high exploits ÚwÚ and ^.^ honyouwabwe >_< deeds 
Ingwatefuw ÚwÚ Wome requites with fouw ^.^ contempt, 
^w^ Be bold uWu in UwU us: we'll ;;w;; fowwow :3 whewe xDD thou :3 wead'st, 
Wike stinging ÚwÚ bees uWu in ;;w;; hottest :33 summew's ^-^ day, 
UwU Wed ^.^ by uWu theiw >_< mastew to x3 the OwO fwow'wed >w< fiewds, 
xDD And be >_< aveng'd on uWu cuwsed Tamora. 
^w^ AWW ^-^ THE ÚwÚ GOTHS. xDD And >_< as ^.^ he saith, UwU so >_> say ^.^ we aww with ^.^ him. 
WUCIUS. UwU I x3 humbwy >_> thank :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> thank xDD you all. 
OwO But who x3 comes UwU hewe, x3 wed ^.^ by :3 a ÚwÚ wusty Goth? 

Entew :3 a >_> GOTH, weading ^-^ AAWON with :33 his :33 CHIWD uWu in :33 his :3 awms 

^w^ SECOND ^.^ GOTH. UwU Wenyownyed ^w^ Wucius, from UwU ouw troops UwU I uWu stway'd 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ gaze ;;w;; upon :3 a ruinous OwO monyastewy; 
xDD And >_< as UwU I eawnyestwy uWu did xDD fix >_< minye ^w^ eye 
>_> Upon x3 the wasted building, ;;w;; suddenwy 
UwU I heard :3 a chiwd cwy undewnyeath :3 a wall. 
UwU I UwU made >w< unto x3 the noise, when >w< soon UwU I heard 
uWu The :3 cwying >w< babe contwoww'd with ÚwÚ this >w< discouwse: 
xDD 'Peace, OwO tawny :33 swave, half ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and half >w< thy dam! 
Did nyot >w< thy :33 hue OwO bewway x3 whose :3 bwat xDD thou awt, 
xDD Had ÚwÚ nyatuwe OwO went uWu thee >_> but >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's look, 
uWu Viwwain, xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst uWu have :33 been >w< an >_> empewow; 
OwO But :3 whewe x3 the uWu buww ÚwÚ and >_< cow OwO awe both >_< miwk-white, 
^-^ They >_< nyevew UwU do x3 beget :3 a coal-black xDD cawf. 
uWu Peace, villain, xDD peace!'- even OwO thus ^.^ he >w< wates x3 the OwO babe- 
^w^ 'Fow UwU I ^w^ must UwU beaw uWu thee to :3 a trusty OwO Goth, 
UwU Who, when ^.^ he xDD knyows xDD thou awt x3 the Empress' ^w^ babe, 
Will howd uWu thee ÚwÚ deawwy fow >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's sake.' 
With uWu this, x3 my :33 weapon x3 dwawn, UwU I uWu wush'd ;;w;; upon :3 him, 
Suwpwis'd ^.^ him suddenly, ÚwÚ and ^.^ bwought ^.^ him ÚwÚ hithew 
;;w;; To use >_< as xDD you think needful of x3 the man. 
WUCIUS. x3 O ÚwÚ wowthy OwO Goth, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the uWu incawnyate ^.^ deviw 
:33 That wobb'd Andwonyicus of :33 his ÚwÚ good xDD hand; 
This >_> is x3 the uWu peaww :3 that pleas'd x3 youw Empress' >_< eye; 
xDD And hewe's x3 the UwU base ^w^ fwuit of her ^.^ buwnying xDD wust. 
Say, ;;w;; waww-ey'd :33 swave, :33 whithew wouldst xDD thou :33 convey 
This >_< gwowing x3 image of >w< thy fiend-like ^.^ face? 
Why dost nyot x3 speak? What, deaf? ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a word? 
^-^ A :33 hawtew, sowdiews! Hang ^.^ him on ÚwÚ this tree, 
xDD And ^.^ by :33 his x3 side :33 his ^w^ fwuit of uWu bastawdy. 
^.^ AAWON. Touch nyot x3 the ^-^ boy, ^.^ he >_> is of royal blood. 
WUCIUS. Too ^.^ wike x3 the >w< siwe fow OwO evew ^.^ being UwU good. 
First ^w^ hang x3 the child, :3 that ^.^ he OwO may >_> see >w< it ;;w;; spwaww- 
^-^ A ^.^ sight to ^-^ vex x3 the father's :3 souw uWu withaw. 
>_< Get ;;w;; me :3 a >w< waddew. 
:3 [A ladder brought, which ^-^ AAWON >_> is UwU made to UwU cwimb] 
^.^ AAWON. ^w^ Wucius, :3 save x3 the child, 
xDD And UwU beaw >w< it from ;;w;; me to x3 the Emperess. 
;;w;; If xDD thou UwU do uWu this, I'll x3 show uWu thee wondwous ^.^ things 
:33 That ;;w;; highwy OwO may ^w^ advantage uWu thee to :3 heaw; 
;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt >_> nyot, befaww >_> what OwO may :33 befaww, 
I'll speak nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but 'Vengeance uWu wot xDD you aww!' 
WUCIUS. x3 Say xDD on; >w< an >_> if >w< it uWu pwease ;;w;; me which xDD thou >w< speak'st, 
x3 Thy chiwd UwU shaww x3 wive, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww >_> see >w< it ^.^ nyouwish'd. 
^.^ AAWON. ^-^ An >_> if >w< it uWu pwease uWu thee! Why, :33 assuwe ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ Wucius, 
'Twiww ^-^ vex >w< thy :3 souw to hear >_> what UwU I UwU shaww speak; 
For UwU I ^w^ must tawk of ;;w;; muwdews, x3 wapes, ÚwÚ and massacres, 
uWu Acts of black night, UwU abominyabwe uWu deeds, 
ÚwÚ Compwots of mischief, uWu tweason, :33 viwwainyies, 
UwU Wuthfuw to heaw, yet piteously pewfowm'd; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this UwU shaww aww be buried uWu in x3 my UwU death, 
OwO Unwess xDD thou >_< sweaw to ;;w;; me x3 my chiwd UwU shaww wive. 
WUCIUS. Teww on >w< thy xDD mind; UwU I >_> say >w< thy chiwd UwU shaww wive. 
^.^ AAWON. Swear :3 that ^.^ he UwU shaww, ÚwÚ and xDD then UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; begin. 
WUCIUS. Who >_> shouwd UwU I >_< sweaw by? ^.^ Thou believest nyo x3 god; 
:33 That ^-^ gwanted, >w< how ;;w;; canst xDD thou ^-^ bewieve >w< an ^w^ oath? 
^.^ AAWON. >_> What >_> if UwU I UwU do ^w^ nyot? >_< as ÚwÚ indeed UwU I UwU do x3 nyot; 
Yet, fow UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou awt religious 
xDD And x3 hast :3 a ^.^ thing within uWu thee ^w^ cawwed OwO conscience, 
With ÚwÚ twenty >_< popish tricks ÚwÚ and uWu cewemonyies 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have :3 seen uWu thee careful to :33 obsewve, 
Therefore UwU I urge >w< thy uWu oath. For :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow 
^-^ An idiot ÚwÚ howds :33 his xDD baubwe fow :3 a ^.^ god, 
xDD And keeps x3 the ^-^ oath which ^.^ by :3 that god ^.^ he sweaws, 
;;w;; To :3 that I'll urge ^.^ him. Therefore xDD thou shalt vow 
^-^ By :3 that same god- >_> what god soe'ew >w< it be 
:33 That xDD thou adowest ÚwÚ and x3 hast uWu in wevewence- 
;;w;; To :3 save x3 my ^-^ boy, to nourish ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him xDD up; 
:33 Ow >_> ewse UwU I xDD wiww OwO discuvw >_< nyought to thee. 
WUCIUS. Even ^.^ by x3 my god UwU I >_< sweaw to uWu thee UwU I :33 wiww. 
^.^ AAWON. First ^.^ knyow UwU thou, UwU I ^.^ begot ^.^ him on x3 the ^-^ Empwess. 
WUCIUS. x3 O UwU most insatiate ÚwÚ and wuxuwious OwO woman! 
^.^ AAWON. Tut, ^w^ Wucius, ÚwÚ this UwU was >_> but :3 a ^.^ deed of xDD chawity 
;;w;; To :3 that which xDD thou shalt hear of ;;w;; me x3 anyon. 
>_< 'Twas her >w< two xDD sons :3 that murdered ;;w;; Bassianyus; 
^-^ They :3 cut >w< thy OwO sistew's ;;w;; tongue, ÚwÚ and UwU wavish'd hew, 
xDD And :3 cut her ^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and trimm'd her >_< as xDD thou uWu sawest. 
WUCIUS. x3 O ^.^ detestabwe :33 viwwain! Caww'st xDD thou :3 that >w< twimming? 
^.^ AAWON. Why, ^.^ she UwU was ^w^ wash'd, ÚwÚ and :3 cut, ÚwÚ and ^w^ twimm'd, ÚwÚ and uWu 'twas 
>_< Twim spowt fow them which xDD had x3 the xDD doing of :3 it. 
WUCIUS. x3 O barbarous OwO beastwy x3 viwwains ^.^ wike OwO thysewf! 
^.^ AAWON. >w< Indeed, UwU I UwU was uWu theiw ;;w;; tutow to instwuct OwO them. 
:33 That codding ^w^ spiwit xDD had ;;w;; they from uWu theiw :33 mothew, 
;;w;; As >_< suwe :3 a >w< cawd >_< as OwO evew ^.^ won x3 the ÚwÚ set; 
:33 That bwoody UwU mind, UwU I >_< think, ;;w;; they weawn'd of uWu me, 
;;w;; As true :3 a dog >_< as OwO evew ÚwÚ fought uWu at >_> head. 
xDD Weww, wet x3 my >_< deeds be >_> witnyess of x3 my uWu wowth. 
UwU I ;;w;; twain'd >w< thy >_< bwethwen to :3 that guileful x3 howe 
Whewe x3 the >_< dead corpse of OwO Bassianyus way; 
UwU I wwote x3 the >_> wettew :3 that >w< thy >w< fathew >_> found, 
xDD And >_< hid x3 the gowd within :3 that >_> wettew mention'd, 
>w< Confedewate with x3 the xDD Queen ÚwÚ and her >w< two sons; 
xDD And >_> what nyot :33 donye, :3 that xDD thou x3 hast cause to uWu wue, 
^-^ Whewein UwU I xDD had nyo ^w^ stwoke of ^-^ mischief uWu in :33 it? 
UwU I pway'd x3 the xDD cheatew fow >w< thy father's uWu hand, 
^.^ And, when UwU I xDD had :33 it, >w< dwew mysewf UwU apawt 
xDD And almost broke x3 my >_< heawt with extweme uWu waughtew. 
UwU I pried ;;w;; me ^w^ thwough x3 the uWu cwevice of :3 a :3 waww, 
UwU When, fow :33 his uWu hand, ^.^ he xDD had :33 his >w< two >w< sons' heads; 
Beheld :33 his ^-^ teaws, ÚwÚ and >_< waugh'd UwU so UwU heawtiwy 
:33 That both >_< minye eyes :3 wewe wainy ^.^ wike to ^w^ his; 
xDD And when UwU I told x3 the Empress of ÚwÚ this sport, 
:33 She swooned almost uWu at x3 my pweasing :33 tawe, 
xDD And fow x3 my UwU tidings uWu gave ;;w;; me ÚwÚ twenty ÚwÚ kisses. 
^.^ GOTH. What, ;;w;; canst xDD thou >_> say aww ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and >_< nyevew bwush? 
^.^ AAWON. Ay, ^.^ wike :3 a black dog, >_< as x3 the :3 saying >w< is. 
WUCIUS. Awt xDD thou nyot sowwy fow these ;;w;; heinyous >_> deeds? 
^.^ AAWON. Ay, :3 that UwU I xDD had nyot donye :3 a thousand more. 
Even nyow UwU I UwU cuwse x3 the day- ÚwÚ and ^w^ yet, UwU I >_< think, 
uWu Few come within x3 the compass of x3 my curse- 
^-^ Whewein UwU I uWu did nyot x3 some :3 nyotowious iww; 
;;w;; As OwO kiww :3 a ^w^ man, ow >_> ewse >w< devise :33 his ÚwÚ death; 
>_> Wavish :3 a ;;w;; maid, ow :3 pwot x3 the uWu way to UwU do uWu it; 
^w^ Accuse x3 some innocent, ÚwÚ and >w< fowsweaw >_< mysewf; 
Set deadwy >_< enmity ^-^ between >w< two >_< fwiends; 
^-^ Make poor men's cattle bweak uWu theiw UwU nyecks; 
Set fire on OwO bawns ÚwÚ and OwO hay-stacks uWu in x3 the night, 
xDD And bid x3 the ownyews quench them with uWu theiw >w< teaws. 
x3 Oft uWu have UwU I xDD digg'd x3 up >_< dead ;;w;; men from uWu theiw >w< gwaves, 
xDD And uWu set them ^w^ upwight uWu at uWu theiw uWu deaw >_< fwiends' doow 
Even when uWu theiw ^w^ sowwows almost UwU was >w< fowgot, 
xDD And on uWu theiw xDD skins, >_< as on x3 the >_< bawk of trees, 
:3 Have with x3 my knyife x3 cawved uWu in Roman x3 wettews 
^w^ 'Wet nyot x3 youw sorrow >_> die, ^w^ though UwU I ^w^ am >w< dead.' 
Tut, UwU I uWu have donye :3 a thousand :3 dweadfuw ^.^ things 
;;w;; As ^w^ wiwwingwy >_< as one ^.^ wouwd OwO kiww :3 a xDD fwy; 
xDD And >_< nyothing grieves ;;w;; me UwU heawtiwy ÚwÚ indeed 
OwO But :3 that UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU do ;;w;; ten thousand more. 
WUCIUS. Bring down x3 the deviw, fow ^.^ he ^w^ must nyot ^-^ die 
^w^ So x3 sweet :3 a :33 death >_< as >_< hanging presently. 
^.^ AAWON. ;;w;; If there be devils, ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe :3 a deviw, 
;;w;; To ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and buwn uWu in everlasting ^w^ fiwe, 
^w^ So UwU I ^w^ might uWu have x3 youw >_< company uWu in heww 
OwO But to x3 towment xDD you with x3 my UwU bittew >_< tongue! 
WUCIUS. uWu Siws, ÚwÚ stop :33 his uWu mouth, ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him speak nyo more. 

Entew x3 AEMIWIUS 

^.^ GOTH. OwO My uWu wowd, there >_> is :3 a :3 messengew from ÚwÚ Wome 
Desires to be admitted to x3 youw pwesence. 
WUCIUS. Let ^.^ him come ÚwÚ nyeaw. 
Welcome, >_< Aemiwius. x3 What's x3 the nyews from >w< Wome? 
;;w;; AEMIWIUS. Lord ^w^ Wucius, ÚwÚ and xDD you Princes of x3 the x3 Goths, 
uWu The Roman >_> Empewow greets xDD you aww ^.^ by OwO me; 
^.^ And, fow ^.^ he :3 undewstands xDD you OwO awe uWu in awms, 
>w< He cwaves :3 a parley uWu at x3 youw father's house, 
:3 Wiwwing xDD you to ;;w;; demand x3 youw :3 hostages, 
xDD And ;;w;; they UwU shaww be immediatewy :33 dewivew'd. 
uWu FIWST ^.^ GOTH. >_> What ;;w;; says UwU ouw x3 genyewaw? 
WUCIUS. Aemilius, wet x3 the >_> Empewow UwU give :33 his >_< pwedges 
uWu Unto x3 my >w< fathew ÚwÚ and x3 my :33 uncwe ;;w;; Mawcus. 
xDD And ^.^ we xDD wiww x3 come. March xDD away. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
xDD Wome. ^.^ Befowe ^.^ TITUS' ;;w;; house 

Entew uWu TAMOWA, ÚwÚ and her >w< two sons, :3 DEMETWIUS ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ CHIWON, disguised 

TAMORA. Thus, uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ and >_> sad :3 habiwiment, 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 encountew with Andronicus, 
xDD And >_> say UwU I ^w^ am xDD Wevenge, sent from bewow 
;;w;; To ^w^ join with ^.^ him ÚwÚ and >w< wight :33 his ;;w;; heinyous x3 wwongs. 
Knock uWu at :33 his ^-^ study, :3 whewe ;;w;; they >_> say ^.^ he keeps 
;;w;; To >_< wuminyate ;;w;; stwange plots of xDD diwe ^w^ wevenge; 
Teww ^.^ him xDD Wevenge >_> is come to ^w^ join with :3 him, 
xDD And ^.^ wowk :3 confusion on :33 his enemies. 

^-^ They :3 knyock ÚwÚ and TITUS :33 opens :33 his ^-^ study door, :33 abuv 

TITUS. Who xDD doth ;;w;; mowest x3 my OwO contempwation? 
Is >w< it x3 youw twick to >_< make ;;w;; me ^w^ ope x3 the door, 
:33 That UwU so x3 my >_> sad decrees OwO may fwy OwO away 
xDD And aww x3 my ^-^ study be to nyo ^.^ effect? 
>_> You OwO awe :3 deceiv'd; fow >_> what UwU I >_> mean to UwU do 
xDD See OwO hewe uWu in bwoody lines UwU I uWu have uWu set down; 
xDD And >_> what >_> is ÚwÚ wwitten UwU shaww be ^-^ executed. 
TAMORA. >w< Titus, UwU I ^w^ am come to tawk with thee. 
TITUS. :3 Nyo, nyot :3 a OwO wowd. How ^.^ can UwU I xDD gwace x3 my talk, 
:3 Wanting :3 a uWu hand to UwU give >w< it :3 that accowd? 
^.^ Thou x3 hast x3 the ^w^ odds of OwO me; >_< thewefowe nyo more. 
TAMORA. ;;w;; If xDD thou :33 didst ^.^ knyow uWu me, xDD thou wouldst tawk with x3 me. 
TITUS. UwU I ^w^ am nyot mad, UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee weww >_> enyough: 
Witness ÚwÚ this wwetched x3 stump, >_> witnyess these >_< cwimson lines; 
Witness these trenches UwU made ^.^ by grief ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cawe; 
Witness x3 the OwO tiwing day ÚwÚ and x3 heavy ^w^ nyight; 
Witness aww sorrow :3 that UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee weww 
For UwU ouw OwO pwoud >w< Empwess, ^-^ mighty Tamora. 
Is nyot >w< thy xDD coming fow x3 my othew hand? 
TAMORA. xDD Knyow UwU thou, >_> sad ^w^ man, UwU I ^w^ am nyot Tamora: 
:33 She >_> is >w< thy ;;w;; enyemy ÚwÚ and UwU I >w< thy :3 fwiend. 
UwU I ^w^ am xDD Wevenge, sent from x3 th' infewnyaw ^w^ kingdom 
;;w;; To ^w^ ease x3 the :3 gnyawing vulture of >w< thy ^-^ mind 
^-^ By >w< wowking wreakful UwU vengeance on >w< thy foes. 
:3 Come down ÚwÚ and wewcome ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ this OwO wowwd's >_> wight; 
uWu Confew with ;;w;; me of murder ÚwÚ and of ÚwÚ death; 
>_> Thewe's nyot :3 a OwO howwow cave ow ^.^ wuwking-pwace, 
No >_> vast ^-^ obscuwity ow ^w^ misty :3 vawe, 
Whewe bwoody murder ow :3 detested xDD wape 
UwU Can UwU couch fow feaw >_> but UwU I xDD wiww find them out; 
xDD And uWu in uWu theiw OwO eaws tell them x3 my :3 dweadfuw nyame- 
xDD Wevenge, which x3 makes x3 the fouw offender x3 quake. 
TITUS. Awt xDD thou Revenge? ÚwÚ and awt xDD thou sent to ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To be :3 a x3 towment to >_< minye enyemies? 
TAMORA. UwU I am; >_< thewefowe come down ÚwÚ and wewcome x3 me. 
TITUS. Do ;;w;; me x3 some OwO sewvice ere UwU I come to thee. 
Lo, ^.^ by >w< thy x3 side :3 whewe :33 Wape ÚwÚ and >_> Muwdew stands; 
Now UwU give x3 some :3 suwance :3 that xDD thou awt >_> Wevenge- 
>w< Stab ÚwÚ them, ow teaw them on >w< thy uWu chawiot wheews; 
xDD And xDD then I'll come ÚwÚ and be >w< thy :33 waggonyew 
xDD And whirl :3 awong with uWu thee about x3 the globes. 
Provide uWu thee >w< two OwO pwopew ^w^ pawfweys, black >_< as >w< jet, 
;;w;; To UwU hawe >w< thy ÚwÚ vengefuw ^w^ waggon UwU swift away, 
xDD And find x3 out muwdewews uWu in uWu theiw guiwty ^w^ caves; 
xDD And when >w< thy caw >_> is ^w^ woaden with uWu theiw >_< heads, 
UwU I xDD wiww >w< dismount, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by >w< thy ^w^ waggon wheew 
Trot, ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; sewviwe :3 footman, aww day long, 
Even from uWu Hypewion's ;;w;; wising uWu in x3 the uWu east 
Untiw :33 his xDD vewy OwO downfaww uWu in x3 the :33 sea. 
xDD And day ^.^ by day I'll UwU do ÚwÚ this x3 heavy task, 
^w^ So xDD thou ÚwÚ destwoy :3 Wapinye ÚwÚ and >_> Muwdew :33 thewe. 
TAMORA. ;;w;; These OwO awe x3 my ^-^ minyistews, ÚwÚ and come with x3 me. 
TITUS. ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they >w< thy uWu minyistews? >_> What OwO awe ;;w;; they call'd? 
TAMORA. :33 Wape ÚwÚ and ^-^ Muwdew; >_< thewefowe ^w^ cawwed UwU so 
^.^ 'Cause ;;w;; they OwO take UwU vengeance of xDD such uWu kind of ^.^ men. 
TITUS. ^-^ Good Wowd, >w< how ^.^ wike x3 the Empress' xDD sons ;;w;; they UwU awe! 
xDD And xDD you x3 the Empwess! OwO But ^.^ we ^-^ wowwdwy ;;w;; men 
:3 Have :33 misewabwe, mad, ;;w;; mistaking :3 eyes. 
x3 O x3 sweet xDD Wevenge, nyow UwU do UwU I come to ÚwÚ thee; 
^.^ And, >_> if one OwO awm's >w< embwacement xDD wiww :3 content ÚwÚ thee, 
UwU I xDD wiww >_< embwace uWu thee uWu in >w< it ^.^ by ÚwÚ and by. 
TAMORA. This xDD cwosing with ^.^ him ^w^ fits :33 his ^.^ wunyacy. 
ÚwÚ Whate'ew UwU I forge to >w< feed :33 his ^-^ bwain-sick >_< humouws, 
Do xDD you uWu uphowd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ maintain uWu in x3 youw speeches, 
For nyow ^.^ he x3 fiwmwy UwU takes ;;w;; me fow Wevenge; 
^.^ And, ^.^ being credulous uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ mad ^-^ thought, 
I'll >_< make ^.^ him >_> send fow ^.^ Wucius :33 his x3 son, 
xDD And whiwst UwU I uWu at :3 a :33 banquet howd ^.^ him x3 suwe, 
I'll find x3 some x3 cunnying pwactice x3 out of uWu hand 
;;w;; To scatter ÚwÚ and UwU dispewse x3 the ^-^ giddy x3 Goths, 
:3 Ow, uWu at x3 the least, >_< make them :33 his enemies. 
:3 See, OwO hewe ^.^ he ;;w;; comes, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must ply x3 my UwU theme. 

Entew OwO TITUS, bewow 

TITUS. OwO Wong uWu have UwU I :33 been ^.^ fowwown, ÚwÚ and aww fow thee. 
Welcome, xDD dwead OwO Fuwy, to x3 my ^.^ woefuw ÚwÚ house. 
:3 Wapinye ÚwÚ and ^.^ Muwdew, xDD you OwO awe wewcome UwU too. 
How ^.^ wike x3 the Empress ÚwÚ and her xDD sons xDD you UwU awe! 
Weww OwO awe xDD you ^.^ fitted, xDD had xDD you >_> but :3 a Moow. 
Could nyot aww heww UwU affowd xDD you xDD such :3 a devil? 
For weww UwU I uWu wot x3 the Empress >_< nyevew x3 wags 
OwO But uWu in her >_< company there >_> is :3 a Moow; 
^.^ And, ^.^ wouwd xDD you ;;w;; wepwesent UwU ouw >_< queen awight, 
^.^ It :3 wewe UwU convenyient xDD you xDD had xDD such :3 a deviw. 
OwO But wewcome >_< as xDD you x3 awe. >_> What UwU shaww ^.^ we ^-^ do? 
TAMORA. >_> What wouldst xDD thou uWu have >_> us UwU do, Andronicus? 
DEMETRIUS. uWu Show ;;w;; me :3 a muwdewew, I'll deal with ^.^ him. 
>w< CHIWON. uWu Show ;;w;; me :3 a viwwain :3 that hath donye :3 a UwU wape, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am sent to be ^w^ weveng'd on ^.^ him. 
TAMORA. uWu Show ;;w;; me :3 a thousand :3 that hath donye uWu thee wwong, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww be wevenged on them all. 
TITUS. Wook ;;w;; wound about x3 the wicked ^w^ stweets of ^w^ Wome, 
xDD And when xDD thou find'st :3 a x3 man ^w^ that's ^.^ wike ;;w;; thysewf, 
^-^ Good ^.^ Muwdew, x3 stab him; uWu he's :3 a murderer. 
Go xDD thou with :3 him, ÚwÚ and when >w< it >_> is >w< thy ÚwÚ hap 
;;w;; To find anyothew :3 that >_> is ^.^ wike to ÚwÚ thee, 
^-^ Good Rapine, x3 stab him; ^.^ he >_> is :3 a ravisher. 
Go xDD thou with OwO them; ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the uWu Empewow's court 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a queen, ^w^ attended ^.^ by :3 a Moow; 
Weww shalt xDD thou ^.^ knyow her ^.^ by ^.^ thinye UwU own proportion, 
For x3 up ÚwÚ and down ^.^ she xDD doth wesembwe thee. 
UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, UwU do on them x3 some :3 viowent ÚwÚ death; 
^-^ They uWu have :33 been :3 viowent to ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and ^w^ minye. 
TAMORA. Weww x3 hast xDD thou OwO wesson'd us; ÚwÚ this UwU shaww ^.^ we xDD do. 
OwO But ^.^ wouwd >w< it uWu pwease ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good Andronicus, 
;;w;; To >_> send fow ^w^ Wucius, >w< thy thrice-valiant x3 son, 
Who weads uWu towawds ÚwÚ Wome :3 a band of warlike x3 Goths, 
xDD And bid ^.^ him come ÚwÚ and :33 banquet uWu at >w< thy ^.^ house; 
x3 When ^.^ he >_> is UwU hewe, even uWu at >w< thy solemn OwO feast, 
UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing uWu in x3 the Empress ÚwÚ and her sons, 
uWu The >_> Empewow himsewf, ÚwÚ and aww >w< thy ^.^ foes; 
xDD And uWu at >w< thy xDD mewcy UwU shaww ;;w;; they >_< stoop ÚwÚ and :33 knyeew, 
xDD And on them shalt xDD thou ^w^ ease >w< thy angry ;;w;; heawt. 
>_> What ;;w;; says Andwonyicus to ÚwÚ this xDD device? 
TITUS. Marcus, x3 my xDD bwothew! 'Tis >_> sad Titus calls. 

Entew >_> MAWCUS 

^w^ Go, ^-^ gentwe Marcus, to >w< thy nephew Lucius; 
^.^ Thou shalt ^.^ inquiwe ^.^ him x3 out ^-^ among x3 the uWu Goths. 
x3 Bid ^.^ him repair to uWu me, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing with ^.^ him 
;;w;; Some of x3 the ^.^ chiefest pwinces of x3 the Goths; 
x3 Bid ^.^ him encamp :33 his ^-^ sowdiews :3 whewe ;;w;; they x3 awe. 
Teww ^.^ him x3 the >_> Empewow ÚwÚ and x3 the Empress ^w^ too 
Feast uWu at x3 my house, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww >_> feast with OwO them. 
This UwU do xDD thou fow x3 my love; ÚwÚ and UwU so wet :3 him, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he wegawds :33 his ^-^ aged father's life. 
OwO MAWCUS. This xDD wiww UwU I UwU do, ÚwÚ and >w< soon ^-^ wetuwn ;;w;; again. uWu Exit 
TAMORA. Now xDD wiww UwU I >w< hence about >w< thy business, 
xDD And OwO take x3 my ministers :3 awong with x3 me. 
TITUS. Nyay, x3 nyay, wet :33 Wape ÚwÚ and >_> Muwdew xDD stay with uWu me, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse I'll caww x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew back OwO again, 
xDD And ÚwÚ cweave to nyo xDD wevenge >_> but ^-^ Wucius. 
TAMORA. ^-^ [Aside to her ^w^ sons] >_> What >_> say UwU you, boys? Will xDD you abide 
with :3 him, 
Whiwes UwU I OwO go tell x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the >_> Empewow 
How UwU I uWu have guvwn'd UwU ouw ;;w;; detewmin'd UwU jest? 
;;w;; Yiewd to :33 his >_< humouw, x3 smooth ÚwÚ and speak ^.^ him faiw, 
xDD And ^.^ tawwy with ^.^ him >w< tiww UwU I turn ;;w;; again. 
TITUS. :3 [Aside] UwU I UwU knyew them all, ^w^ though ;;w;; they ^-^ suppos'd ;;w;; me mad, 
xDD And xDD wiww ^-^ o'ew :3 weach them uWu in uWu theiw UwU own ^-^ devices, 
^-^ A :33 paiw of uWu cuwsed uWu heww-hounds ÚwÚ and uWu theiw uWu dam. 
DEMETRIUS. uWu Madam, ÚwÚ depawt uWu at pweasuwe; OwO weave >_> us hewe. 
TAMORA. UwU Faweweww, Andronicus, xDD Wevenge nyow xDD goes 
;;w;; To uWu way :3 a complot to ÚwÚ betway >w< thy foes. 
TITUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD thou dost; x3 and, x3 sweet xDD Wevenge, farewell. 
uWu Exit :3 TAMOWA 
>w< CHIWON. Teww us, ;;w;; owd ^w^ man, >w< how UwU shaww ^.^ we be UwU empwoy'd? 
TITUS. Tut, UwU I uWu have ^.^ wowk enough fow xDD you to xDD do. 
Pubwius, come hithew, Caius, ÚwÚ and x3 Vawentinye. 

Entew ;;w;; PUBWIUS, ;;w;; CAIUS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; VAWENTINyE 

:3 PUBWIUS. >_> What >_> is x3 youw xDD wiww? 
TITUS. xDD Knyow xDD you these ÚwÚ two? 
:3 PUBWIUS. uWu The Empress' sons, UwU I OwO take ^w^ them: Chiwon, :33 Demetwius. 
TITUS. OwO Fie, Pubwius, fie! xDD thou awt ^w^ too much ;;w;; deceiv'd. 
uWu The one >_> is ^.^ Muwdew, ÚwÚ and :33 Wape >_> is x3 the ;;w;; othew's UwU nyame; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe bind ÚwÚ them, ^-^ gentwe ;;w;; Pubwius- 
:3 Caius ÚwÚ and Valentine, uWu way ^.^ hands on OwO them. 
x3 Oft uWu have xDD you heard ;;w;; me ÚwÚ wish fow xDD such >w< an ^-^ houw, 
xDD And nyow UwU I find uWu it; >_< thewefowe bind them x3 suwe, 
xDD And ÚwÚ stop uWu theiw mouths >_> if ;;w;; they x3 begin to ^-^ cwy. uWu Exit 
^w^ [They uWu way howd on ^w^ CHIWON ÚwÚ and ^-^ DEMETWIUS] 
>w< CHIWON. Villains, fowbeaw! ^.^ we OwO awe x3 the Empress' >w< sons. 
:3 PUBWIUS. xDD And >_< thewefowe UwU do ^.^ we >_> what ^.^ we OwO awe commanded. 
uWu Stop ^-^ cwose uWu theiw ^w^ mouths, wet them nyot speak :3 a OwO wowd. 
Is ^.^ he >_< suwe ;;w;; bound? Wook :3 that xDD you bind them uWu fast. 

^.^ We-entew TITUS ^-^ ANDWONyICUS 
with :3 a ^-^ knyife, ÚwÚ and ^.^ WAVINyIA, with :3 a basin 

TITUS. ^.^ Come, come, Wavinyia; look, >w< thy ^-^ foes OwO awe UwU bound. 
uWu Siws, ÚwÚ stop uWu theiw ^w^ mouths, wet them nyot speak to OwO me; 
OwO But wet them hear >_> what x3 feawfuw wowds UwU I ^-^ uttew. 
x3 O >_> viwwains, xDD Chiwon ÚwÚ and UwU Demetwius! 
:3 Hewe >w< stands x3 the ^-^ spwing ÚwÚ whom xDD you uWu have x3 stain'd with mud; 
This xDD goodwy ^-^ summew with x3 youw winter x3 mix'd. 
>_> You kill'd her xDD husband; ÚwÚ and fow :3 that ^-^ viwe ;;w;; fauwt 
Two of her bwothews :3 wewe condemn'd to UwU death, 
OwO My uWu hand :3 cut x3 off ÚwÚ and UwU made :3 a ^.^ mewwy >_> jest; 
UwU Both her x3 sweet ^.^ hands, her ;;w;; tongue, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ mowe uWu deaw 
Than ^.^ hands ow ;;w;; tongue, her :3 spotwess >_> chastity, 
>_> Inhuman :3 twaitows, xDD you constwain'd ÚwÚ and fowc'd. 
>_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you say, >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd wet xDD you x3 speak? 
Villains, fow ^-^ shame xDD you couwd nyot ÚwÚ beg fow grace. 
Hawk, uWu wwetches! >w< how UwU I >_> mean to mawtyw OwO you. 
This one uWu hand yet >_> is left to :3 cut x3 youw ;;w;; thwoats, 
Whiwes :3 that ;;w;; Wavinyia >_> 'tween her ÚwÚ stumps xDD doth howd 
uWu The basin :3 that weceives x3 youw guiwty blood. 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 youw mothew means to >_> feast with uWu me, 
xDD And ;;w;; cawws herself xDD Wevenge, ÚwÚ and ^w^ thinks ;;w;; me >_> mad. 
Hawk, viwwains! UwU I xDD wiww grind x3 youw bones to :33 dust, 
xDD And with x3 youw :3 bwood ÚwÚ and >w< it I'll >_< make :3 a >_< paste; 
xDD And of x3 the ^.^ paste :3 a UwU coffin UwU I xDD wiww OwO weaw, 
xDD And >_< make >w< two >_< pasties of x3 youw >_> shamefuw heads; 
xDD And bid :3 that ^w^ stwumpet, x3 youw :33 unhawwowed :33 dam, 
Wike to x3 the earth, swawwow her UwU own UwU incwease. 
This >_> is x3 the >_> feast :3 that UwU I uWu have bid her ^.^ to, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this x3 the :33 banquet ^.^ she UwU shaww suwfeit xDD on; 
For xDD wowse than ÚwÚ Phiwomew xDD you ;;w;; us'd x3 my ^w^ daughtew, 
xDD And xDD wowse than xDD Pwognye UwU I xDD wiww be reveng'd. 
xDD And nyow >_> pwepawe x3 youw >_< thwoats. Wavinyia, come, 
Receive x3 the ^-^ bwood; ÚwÚ and when :3 that ;;w;; they OwO awe >_< dead, 
Let ;;w;; me OwO go grind uWu theiw bones to OwO powdew >w< smaww, 
xDD And with ÚwÚ this hateful liquor xDD tempew uWu it; 
xDD And uWu in :3 that ^.^ paste wet uWu theiw ^-^ viwe heads be xDD bak'd. 
^.^ Come, come, be every one uWu officious 
;;w;; To >_< make ÚwÚ this banquet, which UwU I ÚwÚ wish OwO may ^-^ pwuv 
uWu Mowe xDD stewn ÚwÚ and bwoody than x3 the Centauws' x3 feast. 
[He >w< cuts uWu theiw >_< thwoats] 
^w^ So. 
Now ;;w;; bwing them x3 in, fow UwU I xDD wiww :33 pway x3 the cook, 
xDD And >_> see them ready OwO against uWu theiw mothew ^w^ comes. 
^.^ Exeunt, :33 beawing x3 the >_< dead >_< bodies 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The court of ^.^ TITUS' ;;w;; house 

Entew ^w^ Wucius, MAWCUS, ÚwÚ and x3 the GOTHS, with ^-^ AAWON pwisonyew, 
ÚwÚ and :33 his :33 CHIWD uWu in x3 the :3 awms of >w< an x3 attendant 

WUCIUS. Uncle Marcus, xDD since UwU 'tis x3 my father's ^-^ mind 
:33 That UwU I repair to ^w^ Wome, UwU I ^w^ am OwO content. 
uWu FIWST ^.^ GOTH. xDD And ouws with xDD thinye, befaww >_> what :3 fowtunye :33 wiww. 
WUCIUS. ^-^ Good uWu uncwe, OwO take xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this barbarous uWu Moow, 
This ^-^ wavenyous tigew, ÚwÚ this ^w^ accuwsed >_< deviw; 
Let ^.^ him receive nyo sust'nyance, ÚwÚ fettew :3 him, 
Tiww ^.^ he be ^.^ bwought >w< unto x3 the Empress' OwO face 
For testimony of her fouw OwO pwoceedings. 
xDD And >_> see x3 the ^-^ ambush of UwU ouw ^w^ fwiends be strong; 
UwU I feaw x3 the >_> Empewow means nyo ÚwÚ good to >_> us. 
^.^ AAWON. ;;w;; Some ^.^ deviw whisper cuwses uWu in x3 my eaw, 
xDD And prompt ;;w;; me :3 that x3 my >_> tongue OwO may :33 uttew fowth 
uWu The :3 venyomous malice of x3 my xDD swewwing :33 heawt! 
WUCIUS. :33 Away, UwU inhuman dog, :33 unhawwowed x3 swave! 
uWu Siws, OwO hewp UwU ouw :33 uncwe to :33 convey ^.^ him ^.^ in. 
Exeunt :3 GOTHS with ^.^ AAWON. Flourish within 
uWu The trumpets x3 show x3 the >_> Empewow >_> is uWu at >w< hand. 

Sound x3 twumpets. Entew OwO SATUWNyINyUS ÚwÚ and 
uWu TAMOWA, with AEMIWIUS, ÚwÚ TWIBUNyES, SENyATOWS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. What, hath x3 the UwU fiwmament ^.^ mowe >_> suns than onye? 
WUCIUS. >_> What ÚwÚ boots >w< it uWu thee to ^.^ can >w< thysewf :3 a UwU sun? 
OwO MAWCUS. OwO Wome's Empewow, ÚwÚ and nephew, bweak x3 the ^.^ pawwe; 
;;w;; These quarrels ^w^ must be ÚwÚ quietwy ^-^ debated. 
uWu The >_> feast >_> is ready which x3 the careful Titus 
>_< Hath ordain'd to >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe ^w^ end, 
For ÚwÚ peace, fow xDD wuv, fow OwO weague, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good to xDD Wome. 
ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, OwO thewefowe, dwaw ^.^ nyigh ÚwÚ and OwO take x3 youw UwU pwaces. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Marcus, ^.^ we :33 wiww. 
:3 [A tabwe ^.^ bwought ^.^ in. uWu The >_< company sit down] 

Twumpets >_> sounding, enter TITUS 
^.^ wike :3 a cook, ^.^ pwacing x3 the UwU dishes, ÚwÚ and OwO WAVINyIA 
with :3 a veiw uvw her face; awso :3 YOUNG LUCIUS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

TITUS. Welcome, x3 my wowd; ;;w;; wewcome, xDD dwead >w< Queen; 
Welcome, OwO ye warlike Goths; ;;w;; wewcome, Lucius; 
xDD And wewcome all. Awthough x3 the cheer be OwO poow, 
'Twiww ^w^ fiww x3 youw stomachs; uWu pwease xDD you eat of :3 it. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. Why awt xDD thou OwO thus ;;w;; attiw'd, Andronicus? 
TITUS. >_< Because UwU I ^.^ wouwd be >_< suwe to uWu have aww weww 
;;w;; To entertain x3 youw >_> Highnyess ÚwÚ and x3 youw ^-^ Empwess. 
TAMORA. We OwO awe beholding to UwU you, ÚwÚ good Andwonyicus. 
TITUS. ^-^ An >_> if x3 youw >_> Highnyess UwU knyew x3 my uWu heawt, xDD you were. 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd x3 the Empewow, wesowve ;;w;; me :33 this: 
Was >w< it weww donye of >_< wash >w< Viwginyius 
;;w;; To slay :33 his daughter with :33 his UwU own >w< wight uWu hand, 
>_< Because ^.^ she UwU was enforc'd, :33 stain'd, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; defwowew'd? 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. ^.^ It UwU was, Andwonyicus. 
TITUS. uWu Youw weason, ^-^ mighty OwO wowd. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. >_< Because x3 the girl >_> shouwd nyot ^-^ suwvive her UwU shame, 
xDD And ^.^ by her x3 pwesence still renew :33 his >_< sowwows. 
TITUS. ^-^ A reason x3 mighty, :33 stwong, ÚwÚ and >_< effectuaw; 
^-^ A pattewn, precedent, ÚwÚ and lively :33 wawwant 
For uWu me, UwU most wretched, to x3 pewfowm x3 the >_> wike. 
^w^ Die, >_> die, Wavinyia, ÚwÚ and >w< thy ^-^ shame with ÚwÚ thee; [He :33 kiwws :3 hew] 
xDD And with >w< thy ^-^ shame >w< thy father's sorrow ^-^ die! 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. >_> What x3 hast xDD thou :33 donye, unnyatuwaw ÚwÚ and ^w^ unkind? 
TITUS. OwO Kiww'd her fow ÚwÚ whom x3 my tears uWu have UwU made ;;w;; me bwind. 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as ^.^ woefuw >_< as >w< Viwginyius UwU was, 
xDD And uWu have :3 a thousand times ^.^ mowe cause than ^.^ he 
;;w;; To UwU do ÚwÚ this OwO outwage; ÚwÚ and >w< it nyow >_> is ^-^ donye. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. What, UwU was ^.^ she ravish'd? Teww who uWu did x3 the UwU deed. 
TITUS. Will't uWu pwease xDD you UwU eat? Will't uWu pwease x3 youw >_> Highnyess feed? 
TAMORA. Why x3 hast xDD thou :3 swain ^.^ thinye >w< onwy daughter >_< thus? 
TITUS. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 I; uWu 'twas xDD Chiwon ÚwÚ and :33 Demetwius. 
^-^ They UwU wavish'd hew, ÚwÚ and :3 cut OwO away her tongue; 
xDD And >w< they, uWu 'twas >w< they, :3 that uWu did her aww ÚwÚ this wrong. 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. ^w^ Go, :3 fetch them ÚwÚ hithew to >_> us presently. 
TITUS. Why, there ;;w;; they awe, both >_> baked uWu in ÚwÚ this ^-^ pie, 
:3 Wheweof uWu theiw mothew :33 daintiwy hath >_> fed, 
^-^ Eating x3 the >w< fwesh :3 that ^.^ she herself hath bred. 
'Tis ^-^ twue, UwU 'tis >_> twue: >_> witnyess x3 my knyife's ^-^ shawp point. 
[He >_> stabs x3 the EMPRESS] 
^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. ^w^ Die, frantic :3 wwetch, fow ÚwÚ this ^w^ accuwsed >w< deed! 
[He >_> stabs ÚwÚ TITUS] 
WUCIUS. UwU Can x3 the ÚwÚ son's ^w^ eye behowd :33 his >w< fathew ^w^ bweed? 
>_> Thewe's >_> meed fow ÚwÚ meed, :33 death fow :3 a deadwy UwU deed. 
[He >_> stabs ^.^ SATUWNyINyUS. ^-^ A great tumult. LUCIUS, 
MAWCUS, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw ^w^ fwiends OwO go x3 up x3 into x3 the :33 bawcony] 
OwO MAWCUS. >_> You sad-fac'd men, OwO peopwe ÚwÚ and xDD sons of ^w^ Wome, 
^-^ By UwU upwoaws sever'd, >_< as :3 a :33 fwight of fowl 
Scatter'd ^.^ by >_< winds ÚwÚ and xDD high xDD tempestuous gusts? 
>_< O, wet ;;w;; me >_< teach xDD you >w< how to >w< knyit again 
This x3 scattewed corn x3 into one ^-^ mutuaw sheaf, 
;;w;; These xDD bwoken x3 wimbs again x3 into one >w< body; 
Lest ÚwÚ Wome herself be >_> banye >w< unto herself, 
xDD And ^.^ she ÚwÚ whom ^-^ mighty OwO kingdoms :3 cuwtsy ^.^ to, 
Wike :3 a ^.^ fowwown ÚwÚ and despewate castaway, 
Do >_> shamefuw :33 execution on hewsewf. 
OwO But >_> if x3 my fwosty signs ÚwÚ and ;;w;; chaps of age, 
Gwave :3 witnyesses of true xDD expewience, 
UwU Cannyot xDD induce xDD you to >_< attend x3 my wowds, 
:33 [To ^.^ Wucius] ÚwÚ Speak, OwO Wome's uWu deaw fwiend, >_< as erst UwU ouw ancestow, 
x3 When with :33 his solemn >_> tongue ^.^ he uWu did uWu discouwse 
;;w;; To :3 wuv-sick Dido's >_> sad :33 attending ear 
uWu The ^-^ stowy of :3 that xDD bawefuw ^.^ buwnying night, 
x3 When >_> subtwe Gweeks suwpwis'd ^w^ King ^w^ Pwiam's >_> Twoy. 
Teww >_> us >_> what Sinyon hath bewitch'd UwU ouw ;;w;; eaws, 
:33 Ow who hath ^.^ bwought x3 the uWu fataw ;;w;; enginye uWu in 
:33 That ;;w;; gives UwU ouw Troy, UwU ouw ^w^ Wome, x3 the ÚwÚ civiw wound. 
OwO My >_< heawt >_> is nyot compact of OwO fwint nor steel; 
x3 Nyow ^.^ can UwU I :33 uttew aww UwU ouw UwU bittew gwief, 
OwO But xDD fwoods of tears xDD wiww x3 dwown x3 my oratory 
xDD And bweak x3 my >_< utt'wance, even uWu in x3 the time 
x3 When >w< it >_> shouwd move OwO ye to >_< attend ;;w;; me :3 most, 
xDD And force xDD you to >_> commisewation. 
>_> Hewe's OwO Wome's xDD young xDD Captain, wet ^.^ him tell x3 the tale; 
While UwU I stand ^.^ by ÚwÚ and xDD weep to hear ^.^ him >_< speak. 
WUCIUS. Then, >_> gwacious UwU auditowy, be >w< it ÚwÚ knyown to xDD you 
:33 That xDD Chiwon ÚwÚ and x3 the damn'd >_< Demetwius 
^.^ Wewe ;;w;; they :3 that ^-^ muwd'wed UwU ouw uWu Empewow's bwothew; 
xDD And ;;w;; they >w< it :3 wewe :3 that >w< wavished UwU ouw sister. 
For uWu theiw UwU feww :33 fauwts UwU ouw bwothews :3 wewe beheaded, 
Our father's tears ^.^ despis'd, ÚwÚ and xDD basewy OwO cozen'd 
Of :3 that true uWu hand :3 that ÚwÚ fought OwO Wome's ^-^ quawwew x3 out 
xDD And sent her >_< enyemies >w< unto x3 the x3 gwave. 
Lastly, mysewf unkindly :33 banyished, 
uWu The :3 gates shut on uWu me, ÚwÚ and >_> tuwn'd weeping ^.^ out, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ beg relief ^-^ among OwO Wome's enyemies; 
Who >w< dwown'd uWu theiw >_< enmity uWu in x3 my true ^-^ teaws, 
xDD And ^-^ op'd uWu theiw :3 awms to >_< embwace ;;w;; me >_< as :3 a :3 fwiend. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the turned ^-^ fowth, be >w< it ÚwÚ knyown to UwU you, 
:33 That uWu have preserv'd her ÚwÚ wewfawe uWu in x3 my :3 bwood 
xDD And from her ^w^ bosom >_> took x3 the ÚwÚ enyemy's UwU point, 
Sheathing x3 the steew uWu in x3 my OwO advent'wous body. 
^-^ Awas! xDD you ^.^ knyow UwU I ^w^ am nyo ÚwÚ vauntew, x3 I; 
OwO My xDD scaws ^.^ can ^.^ witnyess, UwU dumb awthough ;;w;; they awe, 
:33 That x3 my wepowt >_> is >w< just ÚwÚ and full of truth. 
But, xDD soft! uWu methinks UwU I UwU do ^w^ digwess ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, 
Citing x3 my :33 wowthwess ;;w;; pwaise. >_< O, UwU pawdon me! 
For when nyo ^w^ fwiends OwO awe UwU by, ;;w;; men praise x3 themsewves. 
OwO MAWCUS. Now >_> is x3 my turn to >_< speak. ÚwÚ Behowd x3 the :33 chiwd. 
>_< [Pointing to x3 the :33 CHIWD uWu in >w< an >_> attendant's awms] 
Of ÚwÚ this UwU was Tamora dewivewed, 
uWu The x3 issue of >w< an xDD iwwewigious uWu Moow, 
:33 Chief OwO awchitect ÚwÚ and >w< pwottew of these ^w^ woes. 
uWu The viwwain >_> is ^.^ awive uWu in Titus' house, 
>_< Damn'd >_< as ^.^ he ;;w;; is, to >_> witnyess ÚwÚ this >_> is true. 
Now OwO judge >_> what cause xDD had Titus to xDD wevenge 
;;w;; These >_< wwongs ^.^ unspeakabwe, x3 past patience, 
:33 Ow ^.^ mowe than xDD any UwU wiving x3 man couwd bear. 
Now uWu have xDD you heard x3 the twuth: >_> what >_> say UwU you, xDD Womans? 
:3 Have ^.^ we donye ^.^ aught xDD amiss, x3 show >_> us wherein, 
^.^ And, from x3 the :33 pwace :3 whewe xDD you behowd >_> us OwO pweading, 
uWu The poor ^.^ wemaindew of Andronici 
^.^ Wiww, uWu hand uWu in uWu hand, aww OwO headwong >_< huww ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
xDD And on x3 the ^-^ wagged ^.^ stonyes xDD beat fowth UwU ouw souws, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a ^-^ mutuaw cwosuwe of UwU ouw ÚwÚ house. 
ÚwÚ Speak, uWu Womans, speak; ÚwÚ and >_> if xDD you >_> say ^.^ we UwU shaww, 
Lo, uWu hand uWu in uWu hand, ^.^ Wucius ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww UwU faww. 
;;w;; AEMIWIUS. ^.^ Come, come, xDD thou reverend x3 man of ^w^ Wome, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing UwU ouw >_> Empewow gently uWu in >w< thy uWu hand, 
^.^ Wucius UwU ouw OwO Empewow; fow weww UwU I ^.^ knyow 
uWu The ^w^ common uWu voice UwU do cwy >w< it UwU shaww be :3 so. 
uWu AWW. ^w^ Wucius, aww hail, OwO Wome's royal >w< Empewow! 
OwO MAWCUS. ^w^ Go, OwO go x3 into ;;w;; owd Titus' :33 sowwowfuw house, 
xDD And ÚwÚ hithew UwU hawe :3 that misbewieving Moor 
;;w;; To be ^w^ adjudg'd x3 some ^.^ diwefuw ^-^ swaught'wing UwU death, 
;;w;; As UwU punyishment fow :33 his UwU most wicked life. Exeunt x3 some 
^w^ attendants. LUCIUS, MAWCUS, ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; othews descend 
uWu AWW. ^w^ Wucius, aww hail, OwO Wome's >_> gwacious ;;w;; guvwnyow! 
WUCIUS. >_< Thanks, ^-^ gentwe Romans! ^-^ May UwU I >_< guvwn UwU so 
;;w;; To heal OwO Wome's :33 hawms ÚwÚ and xDD wipe OwO away her woe! 
But, ^-^ gentwe >_> peopwe, UwU give ;;w;; me aim awhiwe, 
For ÚwÚ nyatuwe puts ;;w;; me to :3 a x3 heavy uWu task. 
;;w;; Stand aww awoof; but, uWu uncwe, dwaw xDD you nyeaw 
;;w;; To x3 shed ^.^ obsequious tears ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ twunk. 
>_< O, OwO take ÚwÚ this wawm :3 kiss on >w< thy pawe UwU cowd x3 wips. ^.^ [Kisses ÚwÚ TITUS] 
;;w;; These :33 sowwowfuw ^.^ dwops ;;w;; upon >w< thy blood-stain'd >w< face, 
uWu The >w< wast true >_> duties of >w< thy x3 nyobwe ^w^ son! 
OwO MAWCUS. >w< Teaw fow teaw ÚwÚ and >w< woving :3 kiss fow :3 kiss 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ bwothew x3 Mawcus :33 tendews on >w< thy x3 wips. 
>_< O, :3 wewe x3 the >w< sum of these :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd x3 pay 
Countwess ÚwÚ and infinite, yet ^.^ wouwd UwU I x3 pay >w< them! 
WUCIUS. :3 Come hithew, ^.^ boy; come, come, come, ÚwÚ and :3 weawn of >_> us 
;;w;; To :3 mewt uWu in UwU showews. x3 Thy >_> gwandsiwe :3 wov'd uWu thee well; 
xDD Many :3 a time ^.^ he UwU danc'd uWu thee on :33 his OwO knyee, 
>w< Sung uWu thee ^-^ asweep, :33 his >w< woving breast >w< thy :3 piwwow; 
xDD Many :3 a ^-^ stowy hath ^.^ he told to ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And bid uWu thee UwU beaw :33 his OwO pwetty ;;w;; tawes uWu in ^-^ mind 
xDD And tawk of them when ^.^ he UwU was >_< dead ÚwÚ and ;;w;; gonye. 
OwO MAWCUS. How UwU many thousand times hath these poor :3 wips, 
x3 When ;;w;; they :3 wewe >w< wiving, x3 wawm'd x3 themsewves on thine! 
>_< O, now, x3 sweet ^-^ boy, UwU give them uWu theiw ^-^ watest >_< kiss! 
x3 Bid ^.^ him faweweww; :3 commit ^.^ him to x3 the >w< gwave; 
Do them :3 that kindnyess, ÚwÚ and OwO take OwO weave of OwO them. 
BOY. x3 O xDD gwandsiwe, >_> gwandsiwe! ev'n with aww x3 my >_< heawt 
Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe >_< dead, UwU so xDD you uWu did ^w^ wive x3 again! 
x3 O Wowd, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot speak to ^.^ him fow weeping; 
OwO My tears xDD wiww >_< choke uWu me, >_> if UwU I ^w^ ope x3 my xDD mouth. 

^.^ We-entew ^.^ attendants with ^-^ AAWON 

^-^ A WOMAN. >_> You >_> sad ^w^ Andwonyici, uWu have donye with ÚwÚ woes; 
Give :33 sentence on x3 the ^w^ execwabwe uWu wwetch 
:33 That hath :33 been xDD bweedew of these xDD diwe events. 
WUCIUS. Set ^.^ him :33 bweast-deep uWu in earth, ÚwÚ and :33 famish him; 
>_> Thewe wet ^.^ him stand ÚwÚ and x3 wave ÚwÚ and cwy fow x3 food. 
;;w;; If xDD any one ÚwÚ wewieves ow >_> pities :3 him, 
For x3 the offence ^.^ he OwO dies. This >_> is UwU ouw doom. 
;;w;; Some xDD stay to >_> see ^.^ him fast'ned uWu in x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
^.^ AAWON. xDD Ah, >w< why >_> shouwd >_> wwath be >w< mute ÚwÚ and UwU fuwy UwU dumb? 
UwU I ^w^ am nyo >_< baby, I, :3 that with UwU base >_< pwayews 
UwU I >_> shouwd wepent x3 the ;;w;; eviws UwU I uWu have donye; 
uWu Ten thousand xDD wowse than OwO evew yet UwU I uWu did 
Wouwd UwU I xDD pewfowm, >_> if UwU I ^w^ might uWu have x3 my :33 wiww. 
;;w;; If one ÚwÚ good ^.^ deed uWu in aww x3 my >w< wife UwU I ^-^ did, 
UwU I UwU do wepent >w< it from x3 my xDD vewy ^-^ souw. 
WUCIUS. ;;w;; Some >w< woving ^w^ fwiends :33 convey x3 the >_> Empewow hence, 
xDD And UwU give ^.^ him >w< buwiaw uWu in :33 his father's x3 gwave. 
OwO My >w< fathew ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Wavinyia UwU shaww ÚwÚ fowthwith 
^w^ Be OwO cwosed uWu in UwU ouw household's uWu monyument. 
;;w;; As fow :3 that ^-^ wavenyous tigew, :33 Tamowa, 
No ;;w;; funyewaw wite, nor x3 man uWu in >w< mouwnying OwO weed, 
No ^-^ mouwnfuw beww UwU shaww OwO wing her :3 buwiaw; 
OwO But ^-^ thwow her fowth to x3 beasts ÚwÚ and xDD biwds to pwey. 
:3 Hew >w< wife UwU was OwO beastwy ÚwÚ and :33 devoid of pity, 
xDD And ^.^ being >_< dead, wet xDD biwds on her OwO take >_> pity. Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





;;w;; 1602 

^-^ THE >_> HISTOWY ÚwÚ OF ÚwÚ TWOIWUS ;;w;; AND :3 CWESSIDA 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 


DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

PWIAM, ^w^ King of Twoy 

ÚwÚ His ÚwÚ sons: 
>_< HECTOW 
ÚwÚ TWOIWUS 
>w< PAWIS 
>_> DEIPHOBUS 
HELENUS 

>_< MAWGAWEWON, :3 a ^.^ bastawd >_< son of ^.^ Pwiam 

>w< Twojan commanders: 
AENEAS 
ANTENOR 

^w^ CAWCHAS, :3 a >w< Twojan ;;w;; pwiest, :3 taking ÚwÚ pawt with x3 the Gweeks 
:3 PANDAWUS, :33 uncwe to x3 Cwessida 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON, x3 the Gweek general 
>_> MENyEWAUS, :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew 

Gweek commanders: 
UwU ACHIWWES 
AJAX 
ULYSSES 
:3 NyESTOW 
x3 DIOMEDES 
UwU PATWOCWUS 

THERSITES, :3 a >_< defowmed ÚwÚ and scuwwiwous Gweek 
^w^ AWEXANDEW, xDD sewvant to x3 Cwessida 
SEWVANT to Twoiwus 
SEWVANT to Paris 
SEWVANT to ;;w;; Diomedes 

x3 HEWEN, >w< wife to uWu Menyewaus 
ANDWOMACHE, >w< wife to >_> Hectow 
CASSANDWA, daughter to ^w^ Pwiam, :3 a x3 pwophetess 
^w^ CWESSIDA, daughter to Calchas 

>w< Twojan ÚwÚ and Gweek Soldiers, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Attendants 

SCENE: 
Twoy ÚwÚ and x3 the Gweek ÚwÚ camp >w< befowe >w< it 

PROLOGUE 
ÚwÚ TWOIWUS ;;w;; AND :3 CWESSIDA 
PROLOGUE 

^w^ In Troy, there wies x3 the ;;w;; scenye. Fwom isles of >w< Gweece 
uWu The pwinces >_< owgiwwous, uWu theiw xDD high :3 bwood ^.^ chaf'd, 
:3 Have to x3 the ^.^ powt of ^.^ Athens sent uWu theiw ÚwÚ ships 
uWu Fwaught with x3 the ministers ÚwÚ and instwuments 
Of UwU cwuew waw. ÚwÚ Sixty ÚwÚ and >w< nyinye :3 that ÚwÚ wowe 
^-^ Theiw ;;w;; cwownyets xDD wegaw from x3 th' xDD Athenyian ^w^ bay 
>_> Put fowth toward Phwygia; ÚwÚ and uWu theiw vow >_> is UwU made 
;;w;; To >_> wansack Troy, within x3 whose >w< stwong immuwes 
uWu The UwU wavish'd Hewen, uWu Menyewaus' queen, 
With >_< wanton Paris sleeps-and ^w^ that's x3 the ÚwÚ quawwew. 
;;w;; To Tenyedos ;;w;; they come, 
xDD And x3 the >_< deep-dwawing barks UwU do there disgowge 
^-^ Theiw >_< waw-wike fwaughtage. Now on ;;w;; Dawdan UwU pwains 
uWu The >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and yet unbruised Gweeks UwU do ^w^ pitch 
^-^ Theiw >_< bwave :3 paviwions: ^w^ Pwiam's >w< six-gated city, 
x3 Dawdan, ÚwÚ and ^w^ Tymbwia, Helias, :33 Chetas, Twoien, 
xDD And ^.^ Antenyowides, with ;;w;; massy ^.^ stapwes 
xDD And corresponsive ÚwÚ and fulfilling UwU bowts, 
^w^ Speww x3 up x3 the xDD sons of >_> Twoy. 
Now ;;w;; expectation, >_> tickwing ^.^ skittish ;;w;; spiwits 
On one ÚwÚ and othew side, ÚwÚ Twoyan ÚwÚ and Greek, 
^.^ Sets aww on :3 hazawd-and ÚwÚ hithew ^w^ am UwU I come 
^-^ A Prologue arm'd, >_> but nyot uWu in :3 confidence 
Of authow's OwO pen ow actor's voice, >_> but ^-^ suited 
^w^ In ^.^ wike :33 conditions >_< as UwU ouw :33 awgument, 
;;w;; To tell UwU you, >w< faiw beholders, :3 that UwU ouw :33 pway 
;;w;; Weaps ^-^ o'ew x3 the :33 vaunt ÚwÚ and >w< fiwstwings of UwU those bwoiws, 
>_< Beginnying uWu in x3 the middle; :33 stawting thence away, 
;;w;; To >_> what OwO may be digested uWu in :3 a play. 
Wike ow find fauwt; UwU do >_< as x3 youw >_< pweasuwes >_< awe; 
Now ÚwÚ good ow ÚwÚ bad, UwU 'tis >_> but x3 the chance of waw. 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
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^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
>_> Twoy. ^.^ Befowe ^.^ PWIAM'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ÚwÚ TWOIWUS :33 awmed, ÚwÚ and uWu PANDAWUS 

>_> TWOIWUS. ;;w;; Caww OwO hewe x3 my xDD vawwet; I'll :33 unyawm ;;w;; again. 
Why >_> shouwd UwU I >w< waw ^-^ without x3 the OwO wawws of Twoy 
:33 That find xDD such UwU cwuew ÚwÚ battwe OwO hewe :33 within? 
x3 Each ÚwÚ Twoyan :3 that >_> is >_< mastew of :33 his uWu heawt, 
Let ^.^ him to :3 fiewd; ^.^ Twoiwus, :3 awas, hath >_< nyonye! 
PANDARUS. Will ÚwÚ this geaw ^w^ nye'ew be :3 mended? 
>_> TWOIWUS. uWu The Gweeks OwO awe :33 stwong, ÚwÚ and >_< skiwfuw to uWu theiw >_< stwength, 
Fiewce to uWu theiw ^-^ skiww, ÚwÚ and to uWu theiw >_< fiewcenyess valiant; 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ am weaker than :3 a xDD woman's tear, 
^.^ Tamew than sweep, UwU fondew than ignorance, 
Wess uWu vawiant than x3 the ;;w;; viwgin uWu in x3 the night, 
xDD And :33 skiwwess >_< as UwU unpwactis'd >_< infancy. 
PANDARUS. xDD Weww, UwU I uWu have told xDD you enough of >_< this; fow x3 my >_> pawt, 
I'll nyot UwU meddwe nor >_< make nyo ÚwÚ fawthew. >w< He :3 that xDD wiww uWu have :3 a cake 
x3 out of x3 the OwO wheat ^w^ must >_< nyeeds ^.^ tawwy x3 the ^.^ gwinding. 
>_> TWOIWUS. :3 Have UwU I nyot OwO tawwied? 
PANDARUS. Ay, x3 the gwinding; >_> but xDD you ^w^ must ^.^ tawwy x3 the ^w^ bowting. 
>_> TWOIWUS. :3 Have UwU I nyot OwO tawwied? 
PANDARUS. Ay, x3 the ^w^ bowting; >_> but xDD you ^w^ must ^.^ tawwy x3 the x3 weavenying. 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU Stiww uWu have UwU I >w< tawwied. 
PANDARUS. Ay, to x3 the leavening; >_> but hewe's yet uWu in x3 the ;;w;; wowd 
'hereafter' x3 the knyeading, x3 the x3 making of x3 the ÚwÚ cake, x3 the x3 heating 
of x3 the oven, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ baking; x3 nyay, xDD you ^w^ must xDD stay x3 the coowing :3 too, 
ow xDD you OwO may chance to buwn x3 youw x3 wips. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ;;w;; Patience herself, >_> what ÚwÚ goddess ;;w;; e'ew ^.^ she be, 
^-^ Doth wessew UwU bwench uWu at suff'wance than UwU I xDD do. 
At ^w^ Pwiam's royal tabwe UwU do UwU I ^.^ sit; 
xDD And when >w< faiw ^w^ Cwessid x3 comes x3 into x3 my >_< thoughts- 
So, traitor, xDD then ^.^ she x3 comes when ^.^ she >_> is ^w^ thence. 
PANDARUS. xDD Weww, ^.^ she >_> wook'd yesternight fairer than OwO evew UwU I saw her 
look, ow xDD any OwO woman ewse. 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU I UwU was about to tell >_< thee: when x3 my uWu heawt, 
;;w;; As x3 wedged with :3 a uWu sigh, ^.^ wouwd ^w^ wive uWu in twain, 
Lest >_> Hectow ow x3 my >w< fathew >_> shouwd >_> pewceive uWu me, 
UwU I have, >_< as when x3 the sun xDD doth >w< wight :3 a stowm, 
Buried ÚwÚ this x3 sigh uWu in wrinkle of :3 a smile. 
OwO But sorrow :3 that >_> is ^w^ couch'd uWu in ÚwÚ seeming UwU gwadnyess 
Is ^.^ wike :3 that >_< miwth fate tuwns to ^.^ sudden sadness. 
PANDARUS. ^-^ An her >_< haiw :3 wewe nyot >_< somewhat dawkew than ÚwÚ Hewen's- weww, 
OwO go xDD to- there :3 wewe nyo ^.^ mowe compawison ^-^ between x3 the ^w^ women. But, fow 
x3 my >_> pawt, ^.^ she >_> is x3 my ^.^ kinswoman; UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> nyot, >_< as ;;w;; they term :33 it, 
praise hew, >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^w^ somebody xDD had heard her tawk ^.^ yestewday, >_< as 
UwU I ^.^ did. UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO dispwaise x3 youw :3 sistew Cassandra's >_> wit; ÚwÚ but- 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 O Pandawus! UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, xDD Pandawus- 
x3 When UwU I UwU do tell uWu thee there x3 my hopes >_< wie dwown'd, 
Reply nyot uWu in >w< how UwU many ;;w;; fathoms >_> deep 
^-^ They >_< wie indrench'd. UwU I tell uWu thee UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ mad 
^w^ In Cwessid's love. ^.^ Thou answew'st ^w^ 'She >_> is >_< faiw'- 
Pourest uWu in x3 the open ulcer of x3 my ÚwÚ heawt- 
:3 Hew ^w^ eyes, her hair, her OwO cheek, her gait, her voice, 
:33 Handwest uWu in >w< thy discourse. >_< O, :3 that her uWu hand, 
^w^ In x3 whose compawison aww whites OwO awe ink 
OwO Wwiting uWu theiw UwU own ^w^ wepwoach; to x3 whose soft seizure 
uWu The xDD cygnyet's down >_> is harsh, ÚwÚ and ^w^ spiwit of sense 
ÚwÚ Hawd >_< as x3 the ^.^ pawm of pwoughman! This xDD thou ^.^ teww'st uWu me, 
;;w;; As true xDD thou ^.^ teww'st uWu me, when UwU I >_> say UwU I wuv >w< hew; 
But, :3 saying thus, ^w^ instead of oiw ÚwÚ and balm, 
^.^ Thou ^.^ way'st uWu in every gash :3 that wuv hath UwU given ;;w;; me 
uWu The knyife :3 that UwU made :3 it. 
PANDARUS. UwU I speak nyo ^.^ mowe than truth. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^.^ Thou dost nyot speak UwU so :33 much. 
PANDARUS. Faith, I'll nyot UwU meddwe uWu in :3 it. Let her be >_< as ^.^ she ^w^ is: >_> if 
^.^ she be faiw, UwU 'tis x3 the xDD bettew fow >w< hew; >w< an ^.^ she be >_> nyot, ^.^ she >_> has x3 the 
uWu mends uWu in her UwU own ^w^ hands. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^-^ Good Pandawus! How now, Pandawus! 
PANDARUS. UwU I uWu have xDD had x3 my labour fow x3 my >_> twavaiw, :33 iww xDD thought on of 
her ÚwÚ and :33 iww xDD thought on of uWu you; >_> gonye ^-^ between ÚwÚ and >_> between, >_> but 
UwU smaww thanks fow x3 my uWu wabouw. 
>_> TWOIWUS. What, awt xDD thou ;;w;; angwy, ;;w;; Pandawus? What, with me? 
PANDARUS. >_< Because ^w^ she's ^-^ kin to uWu me, >_< thewefowe ^w^ she's nyot UwU so >w< faiw >_< as 
>_< Hewen. ^-^ An ^.^ she :3 wewe nyot ^-^ kin to uWu me, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd be >_< as >w< faiw :3 a ^.^ Fwiday 
>_< as :33 Hewen >_> is on OwO Sunday. OwO But >_> what :3 cawe >_< I? UwU I :3 cawe nyot >w< an ^.^ she :3 wewe :3 a 
blackamoor; UwU 'tis aww one to x3 me. 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 Say UwU I ^.^ she >_> is nyot uWu faiw? 
PANDARUS. UwU I UwU do nyot :3 cawe >w< whethew xDD you UwU do ow >w< nyo. >_> She's :3 a >w< foow to xDD stay 
x3 behind her :33 fathew. Let her to x3 the Greeks; ÚwÚ and UwU so I'll tell her 
x3 the :3 nyext time UwU I >_> see her. For x3 my >_> pawt, I'll UwU meddwe nor >_< make nyo 
^.^ mowe :33 i' x3 th' :3 mattew. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Pandawus! 
PANDARUS. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ I. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ÚwÚ Sweet Pandawus! 
PANDARUS. >_> Pway UwU you, speak nyo ^.^ mowe to ;;w;; me: UwU I xDD wiww OwO weave aww 
>_< as UwU I >_> found :33 it, ÚwÚ and there >w< an OwO end. ÚwÚ Exit. Sound OwO awawum 
>_> TWOIWUS. uWu Peace, xDD you >_< ungwacious clamours! uWu Peace, wude x3 sounds! 
^w^ Foows on both uWu sides! :33 Hewen ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be faiw, 
x3 When with x3 youw :3 bwood xDD you x3 daiwy OwO paint her OwO thus. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >w< fight ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this >_< awgument; 
^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too ^-^ stawv'd :3 a x3 subject fow x3 my ^-^ swowd. 
OwO But OwO Pandawus-O uWu gods, >w< how UwU do xDD you pwague me! 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot come to ^w^ Cwessid >_> but ^.^ by >w< Pandaw; 
xDD And uWu he's >_< as >w< tetchy to be woo'd to ^.^ woo 
;;w;; As ^.^ she >_> is >w< stubbown-chaste OwO against aww OwO suit. 
Teww uWu me, Apollo, fow >w< thy Daphne's xDD wuv, 
>_> What ^w^ Cwessid ;;w;; is, >_> what Pandar, ÚwÚ and >_> what uWu we? 
:3 Hew x3 bed >_> is >_< India; there ^.^ she lies, :3 a pearl; 
Between UwU ouw ^.^ Iwium ÚwÚ and :3 whewe ^.^ she UwU wesides 
Let >w< it be ^w^ caww'd x3 the >w< wiwd ÚwÚ and >w< wand'wing flood; 
xDD Ouwsewf x3 the OwO mewchant, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this saiwing :3 Pandaw 
Our ^.^ doubtfuw hope, UwU ouw convoy, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw bark. 

;;w;; Awawum. Entew AENEAS 

AENEAS. How now, Prince Troilus! ÚwÚ Whewefowe nyot UwU afiewd? 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_< Because nyot :33 thewe. This xDD woman's answew sowts, 
For >_> womanyish >w< it >_> is to be from ^w^ thence. 
>_> What news, UwU Aenyeas, from x3 the field >w< to-day? 
AENEAS. :33 That Paris >_> is wetuwnyed ^.^ home, ÚwÚ and x3 huwt. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^-^ By :33 whom, Aeneas? 
AENEAS. ^.^ Twoiwus, ^.^ by >w< Menyewaus. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Let Paris bleed: UwU 'tis >_> but :3 a ^-^ scaw to scorn; 
Paris >_> is uWu gow'd with uWu Menyewaus' horn. [Awawum] 
AENEAS. ^.^ Hawk >_> what ÚwÚ good spowt >_> is x3 out of :33 town to-day! 
>_> TWOIWUS. uWu Bettew uWu at ^.^ home, >_> if >w< 'wouwd UwU I :3 might' :3 wewe ^w^ 'may.' 
OwO But to x3 the spowt abroad. ^w^ Awe xDD you bound x3 thithew? 
AENEAS. ^w^ In aww UwU swift ^.^ haste. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^.^ Come, OwO go ^.^ we xDD then together. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
>_> Twoy. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew :3 CWESSIDA ÚwÚ and her x3 man ALEXANDER 

^.^ CWESSIDA. Who :3 wewe UwU those OwO went by? 
xDD AWEXANDEW. xDD Queen Hecuba ÚwÚ and >_< Hewen. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. xDD And :33 whithew OwO go >w< they? 
xDD AWEXANDEW. Up to x3 the eastern tower, 
>_< Whose height ;;w;; commands >_< as x3 subject aww x3 the :3 vawe, 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 the ^.^ battwe. Hectow, x3 whose uWu patience 
Is >_< as :3 a viwtue OwO fix'd, ^w^ to-day UwU was ;;w;; mov'd. 
>w< He ;;w;; chid :3 Andwomache, ÚwÚ and >w< stwuck :33 his x3 awmouwew; 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike >_< as there :3 wewe x3 husbandwy uWu in waw, 
^.^ Befowe x3 the sun wose ^.^ he UwU was ;;w;; hawnyess'd wight, 
xDD And to x3 the field xDD goes he; :3 whewe every fwowew 
Did >_< as :3 a :33 pwophet xDD weep >_> what >w< it uWu fowesaw 
^w^ In :33 Hectow's wrath. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> What UwU was :33 his cause of angew? 
xDD AWEXANDEW. uWu The noise :33 goes, :33 this: there >_> is ^-^ among x3 the Gweeks 
^-^ A ;;w;; wowd of ÚwÚ Twoyan bwood, nephew to Hectow; 
^-^ They caww ^.^ him UwU Ajax. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Good; ÚwÚ and >_> what of him? 
xDD AWEXANDEW. ^-^ They >_> say ^.^ he >_> is :3 a xDD vewy x3 man x3 pew se, 
xDD And >w< stands >_< awonye. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ So UwU do aww men, ^w^ unwess ;;w;; they OwO awe dwunk, :33 sick, ow uWu have nyo 
wegs. 
xDD AWEXANDEW. This ^w^ man, UwU wady, hath wobb'd UwU many x3 beasts of uWu theiw 
xDD pawticuwaw uWu additions: ^.^ he >_> is >_< as uWu vawiant >_< as :3 a wion, churlish >_< as x3 the 
>_> beaw, slow >_< as x3 the ^-^ ewephant-a x3 man x3 into ÚwÚ whom ÚwÚ nyatuwe hath UwU so crowded 
humours :3 that :33 his valour >_> is ^w^ cwush'd x3 into >_> fowwy, :33 his >w< fowwy :33 sauced 
with discwetion. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo x3 man hath :3 a viwtue :3 that ^.^ he hath nyot :3 a 
glimpse :33 of, nor xDD any x3 man >w< an attaint >_> but ^.^ he xDD cawwies x3 some stain of 
uWu it; ^.^ he >_> is ^-^ mewanchowy ^-^ without cause ÚwÚ and ^.^ mewwy OwO against x3 the ^-^ haiw; ^.^ he 
hath x3 the xDD joints of every >_> thing; >_> but evewything UwU so x3 out of UwU joint 
:3 that ^.^ he >_> is :3 a uWu gouty :33 Bwiaweus, UwU many ^.^ hands ÚwÚ and nyo ^.^ use, ow xDD puwbwind 
^.^ Awgus, aww eyes ÚwÚ and nyo :33 sight. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. OwO But >w< how >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this ^w^ man, :3 that x3 makes ;;w;; me :33 smiwe, >_< make >_> Hectow 
^.^ angwy? 
xDD AWEXANDEW. ^-^ They >_> say ^.^ he ;;w;; yestewday cop'd >_> Hectow uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ battwe ÚwÚ and 
>w< stwuck ^.^ him ;;w;; down, x3 the ^-^ disdain ÚwÚ and ^-^ shame xDD wheweof hath OwO evew xDD since 
:33 kept >_> Hectow ;;w;; fasting ÚwÚ and xDD waking. 

Entew uWu PANDAWUS 

^.^ CWESSIDA. Who x3 comes hewe? 
xDD AWEXANDEW. uWu Madam, x3 youw :33 uncwe Pandarus. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :33 Hectow's :3 a OwO gawwant man. 
xDD AWEXANDEW. ;;w;; As OwO may be uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, >_> wady. 
PANDARUS. x3 What's ^-^ that? x3 What's ^-^ that? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^-^ Good morrow, :33 uncwe Pandarus. 
PANDARUS. ^-^ Good morrow, xDD cousin Cressid. >_> What UwU do xDD you tawk ;;w;; of?- ^-^ Good 
morrow, Awexandew.-How UwU do UwU you, cousin? x3 When :3 wewe xDD you uWu at uWu Iwium? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. This UwU mownying, uncle. 
PANDARUS. >_> What :3 wewe xDD you :33 tawking of when UwU I came? Was >_> Hectow awm'd 
ÚwÚ and >_> gonye ere xDD you ^-^ came to uWu Iwium? :33 Hewen UwU was nyot up, UwU was >_< she? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> Hectow UwU was xDD gonye; >_> but :33 Hewen UwU was nyot :33 up. 
PANDARUS. E'en :3 so. >_> Hectow UwU was stirring >_> eawwy. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :33 That :3 wewe ^.^ we :33 tawking :33 of, ÚwÚ and of :33 his OwO angew. 
PANDARUS. Was ^.^ he ^.^ angwy? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ So ^.^ he ;;w;; says hewe. 
PANDARUS. >_< Twue, ^.^ he UwU was so; UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the cause :3 too; he'ww uWu way about 
^.^ him today, UwU I ^.^ can tell them x3 that. xDD And there's Twoiwus xDD wiww nyot 
come uWu faw x3 behind him; wet them OwO take :3 heed of ^.^ Twoiwus, UwU I ^.^ can tell 
them :3 that UwU too. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. What, >_> is ^.^ he angry xDD too? 
PANDARUS. UwU Who, Troilus? Twoiwus >_> is x3 the xDD bettew x3 man of x3 the UwU two. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. x3 O Jupiter! there's nyo comparison. 
PANDARUS. What, nyot ^-^ between Twoiwus ÚwÚ and Hector? Do xDD you ^.^ knyow :3 a x3 man 
>_> if xDD you >_> see him? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Ay, >_> if UwU I OwO evew saw ^.^ him >w< befowe ÚwÚ and UwU knyew ^.^ him. 
PANDARUS. xDD Weww, UwU I >_> say Twoiwus >_> is x3 Twoiwus. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU Then xDD you >_> say >_< as UwU I say, fow UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe ^.^ he >_> is nyot ^-^ Hectow. 
PANDARUS. :3 Nyo, nor >_> Hectow >_> is nyot Twoiwus uWu in x3 some degrees. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. 'Tis >w< just to >_< each of ^w^ them: ^.^ he >_> is himself. 
PANDARUS. ^-^ Himsewf! ÚwÚ Awas, poor Troilus! UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he were! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ So ^.^ he >w< is. 
PANDARUS. >_< Condition UwU I xDD had >_> gonye barefoot to UwU India. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >w< He >_> is nyot ^-^ Hectow. 
PANDARUS. ^-^ Himsewf! no, uWu he's nyot himself. Wouwd xDD 'a :3 wewe >_< himsewf! 
xDD Weww, x3 the gods OwO awe above; time ^w^ must :33 fwiend ow OwO end. xDD Weww, ^.^ Twoiwus, 
OwO weww! UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my >_< heawt :3 wewe uWu in her :3 body! :3 Nyo, >_> Hectow >_> is nyot :3 a 
xDD bettew x3 man than x3 Twoiwus. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. xDD Excuse x3 me. 
PANDARUS. >w< He >_> is x3 ewdew. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, UwU pawdon x3 me. 
PANDARUS. xDD Th' ;;w;; othew's nyot come x3 to't; xDD you UwU shaww tell ;;w;; me anyothew xDD tawe 
when x3 th' ;;w;; othew's come to't. >_> Hectow UwU shaww nyot uWu have :33 his wit ÚwÚ this 
year. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >w< He UwU shaww nyot >_< nyeed >w< it >_> if ^.^ he uWu have :33 his own. 
PANDARUS. x3 Nyow :33 his qualities. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. No :3 mattew. 
PANDARUS. x3 Nyow :33 his beauty. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ;;w;; 'Twouwd nyot :33 become :33 him: :33 his own's ^-^ bettew. 
PANDARUS. YOU uWu have nyo ^.^ judgment, niece. :33 Hewen herself >w< swowe x3 th' 
othew day :3 that ^.^ Twoiwus, fow :3 a >_> bwown favour, fow UwU so x3 'tis, UwU I ^w^ must 
;;w;; confess- nyot >_> bwown neither- 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :3 Nyo, >_> but ;;w;; bwown. 
PANDARUS. Faith, to >_> say truth, >_> bwown ÚwÚ and nyot ;;w;; bwown. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ;;w;; To >_> say x3 the truth, true ÚwÚ and nyot true. 
PANDARUS. :33 She UwU pwais'd :33 his >_< compwexion :33 abuv Paris. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Why, Paris hath colour enyough. 
PANDARUS. ^w^ So ^.^ he has. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU Then Twoiwus >_> shouwd uWu have ^w^ too :33 much. ;;w;; If ^.^ she UwU pwais'd ^.^ him 
xDD abuv, :33 his >_< compwexion >_> is :3 highew than ^w^ his; ^.^ he xDD having colour 
UwU enyough, ÚwÚ and x3 the othew xDD highew, >_> is ^w^ too OwO fwaming praise fow :3 a ÚwÚ good 
compwexion. UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief Helen's golden >_> tongue xDD had :33 commended 
Twoiwus fow :3 a >w< coppew nyose. 
PANDARUS. UwU I >_< sweaw to xDD you UwU I think :33 Hewen loves ^.^ him xDD bettew than Paris. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU Then ^w^ she's :3 a ^.^ mewwy Gweek indeed. 
PANDARUS. Nyay, UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe ^.^ she does. :33 She ^-^ came to ^.^ him x3 th' othew day 
x3 into x3 the ^.^ compass'd ^.^ window-and xDD you ^.^ knyow ^.^ he >_> has nyot x3 past >w< thwee ow 
fouw >_< haiws on :33 his uWu chin- 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :33 Indeed :3 a tapster's awithmetic OwO may >w< soon ;;w;; bwing :33 his 
pawticuwaws thewein to :3 a total. 
PANDARUS. Why, ^.^ he >_> is xDD vewy >_> young, ÚwÚ and yet xDD wiww ^.^ he within >w< thwee ;;w;; pound 
lift >_< as much >_< as :33 his ÚwÚ bwothew ^-^ Hectow. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Is ^.^ he UwU so xDD young :3 a x3 man ÚwÚ and UwU so ;;w;; owd :3 a >_< wiftew? 
PANDARUS. OwO But to ^-^ pwuv to xDD you :3 that :33 Hewen loves :33 him: ^.^ she ^-^ came ÚwÚ and 
puts ;;w;; me her ^-^ white uWu hand to :33 his x3 cwuvn uWu chin- 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> Junyo uWu have mercy! How ^-^ came >w< it cwuvn? 
PANDARUS. Why, xDD you knyow, UwU 'tis dimpwed. UwU I think :33 his x3 smiwing x3 becomes 
^.^ him xDD bettew than xDD any x3 man uWu in aww xDD Phwygia. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_< O, ^.^ he ^-^ smiwes OwO vawiantwy! 
PANDARUS. ÚwÚ Does ^.^ he ^w^ nyot? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. x3 O :3 yes, >w< an >w< 'twewe :3 a ;;w;; cwoud uWu in ^-^ autumn! 
PANDARUS. Why, OwO go ^.^ to, >w< then! OwO But to ^-^ pwuv to xDD you :3 that :33 Hewen loves 
^.^ Twoiwus- 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Twoiwus xDD wiww stand to x3 the uWu pwoof, >_> if you'ww ^-^ pwuv >w< it :3 so. 
PANDARUS. Troilus! Why, ^.^ he :33 esteems her nyo ^.^ mowe than UwU I >_> esteem >w< an 
;;w;; addwe >_> egg. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ;;w;; If xDD you wuv >w< an ;;w;; addwe >_> egg >_< as weww >_< as xDD you wuv >w< an idle 
head, xDD you ^.^ wouwd eat >w< chickens :33 i' x3 th' shell. 
PANDARUS. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but laugh to think >w< how ^.^ she tickwed :33 his 
chin. >w< Indeed, ^.^ she >_> has :3 a marvell's ^-^ white uWu hand, UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds 
confess. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Without x3 the rack. 
PANDARUS. xDD And ^.^ she UwU takes ;;w;; upon her to ^w^ spy :3 a ^-^ white >_< haiw on :33 his chin. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ÚwÚ Awas, poor :3 chin! xDD Many :3 a x3 wawt >_> is wichew. 
PANDARUS. OwO But there UwU was xDD such waughing! xDD Queen Hecuba >_< waugh'd :3 that 
her eyes wan >_< o'ew. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. With miwwstonyes. 
PANDARUS. xDD And Cassandwa laugh'd. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. OwO But there UwU was :3 a ^.^ mowe ^w^ tempewate fire :33 undew x3 the >_> pot of her 
:3 eyes. Did her eyes >w< wun ^-^ o'ew xDD too? 
PANDARUS. xDD And >_> Hectow laugh'd. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. At >_> what UwU was aww ÚwÚ this xDD waughing? 
PANDARUS. OwO Mawwy, uWu at x3 the ^-^ white >_< haiw :3 that :33 Hewen ÚwÚ spied on ;;w;; Twoiwus' 
chin. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ;;w;; An't xDD had :33 been :3 a green >_< haiw UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have >_< waugh'd UwU too. 
PANDARUS. ^-^ They >_< waugh'd nyot UwU so much uWu at x3 the >_< haiw >_< as uWu at :33 his OwO pwetty 
answer. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> What UwU was :33 his answer? 
PANDARUS. Quoth ^.^ she 'Here's >_> but >w< two ÚwÚ and :33 fifty >_< haiws on x3 youw OwO chin, 
ÚwÚ and one of them >_> is ^w^ white.' 
^.^ CWESSIDA. This >_> is her x3 question. 
PANDARUS. >w< That's true; >_< make nyo ;;w;; question of x3 that. 'Two ÚwÚ and :33 fifty 
>_< haiws,' quoth ^.^ he OwO 'and one :3 white. :33 That ^-^ white >_< haiw >_> is x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
ÚwÚ and aww x3 the xDD west OwO awe :33 his ÚwÚ sons.' 'Jupitew!' quoth ^.^ she >_> 'which of 
these >_< haiws >_> is Paris x3 my ^-^ husband?' 'The forked onye,' quoth xDD he, 
'pwuck't x3 out ÚwÚ and UwU give >w< it >_< him.' OwO But there UwU was xDD such waughing! ÚwÚ and 
:33 Hewen UwU so x3 bwush'd, ÚwÚ and Paris UwU so :3 chaf'd; ÚwÚ and aww x3 the xDD west UwU so 
>_< waugh'd :3 that >w< it xDD pass'd. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ So wet >w< it >_< nyow; fow >w< it >_> has :33 been :3 a great OwO whiwe x3 going by. 
PANDARUS. xDD Weww, OwO cousin, UwU I told xDD you :3 a ^.^ thing uWu yestewday; think ^.^ on't. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ So UwU I xDD do. 
PANDARUS. I'll be sworn UwU 'tis true; ^.^ he xDD wiww xDD weep UwU you, ÚwÚ and >w< 'twewe :3 a 
x3 man bown uWu in April. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. xDD And I'll ^-^ spwing x3 up uWu in :33 his ^-^ teaws, >w< an >w< 'twewe :3 a nettle 
OwO against UwU May. uWu [Sound :3 a ÚwÚ wetweat] 
PANDARUS. :33 Hawk! ;;w;; they OwO awe xDD coming from x3 the >_> fiewd. Shall ^.^ we stand x3 up 
OwO hewe ÚwÚ and >_> see them >_< as ;;w;; they pass toward uWu Iwium? ^-^ Good UwU nyiece, UwU do, 
x3 sweet uWu nyiece ÚwÚ Cwessida. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. At x3 youw pleasure. 
PANDARUS. Here, UwU hewe, hewe's >w< an :3 excewwent pwace; OwO hewe ^.^ we OwO may >_> see 
UwU most bwavewy. I'll tell xDD you them aww ^.^ by uWu theiw nyames >_< as ;;w;; they pass 
;;w;; by; >_> but mark Twoiwus :33 abuv x3 the rest. 

AENEAS ^-^ passes 

^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ Speak nyot UwU so xDD woud. 
PANDARUS. >w< That's ;;w;; Aenyeas. Is nyot :3 that :3 a >_< bwave man? He's one of x3 the 
fwowews of Troy, UwU I ^.^ can tell OwO you. OwO But mark Troilus; xDD you UwU shaww >_> see 
x3 anyon. 

ANTENOR ^-^ passes 

^.^ CWESSIDA. Who's ^-^ that? 
PANDARUS. >w< That's Antenor. >w< He >_> has :3 a shrewd ^w^ wit, UwU I ^.^ can tell uWu you; ÚwÚ and 
uWu he's :3 a x3 man ÚwÚ good >_< enyough; uWu he's one ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ soundest ^.^ judgments uWu in 
Troy, whosoever, ÚwÚ and :3 a OwO pwopew x3 man of person. x3 When x3 comes Troilus? 
I'll x3 show xDD you Twoiwus x3 anyon. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> see uWu me, xDD you UwU shaww >_> see ^.^ him nod 
uWu at x3 me. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Will ^.^ he UwU give xDD you x3 the >_< nyod? 
PANDARUS. >_> You UwU shaww ^-^ see. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ;;w;; If ^.^ he UwU do, x3 the rich UwU shaww uWu have more. 

>_< HECTOW ^-^ passes 

PANDARUS. >w< That's Hectow, :3 that, :3 that, wook UwU you, :33 that; there's :3 a 
xDD fewwow! Go >w< thy :3 way, :33 Hectow! >_> Thewe's :3 a >_< bwave ^w^ man, niece. x3 O >_< bwave 
:33 Hectow! Wook >w< how ^.^ he OwO wooks. >_> Thewe's :3 a :3 countenyance! ^-^ Is't nyot :3 a 
>_< bwave man? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_< O, :3 a >_< bwave ;;w;; man! 
PANDARUS. Is xDD 'a ^w^ nyot? ^.^ It does :3 a :33 man's >_< heawt UwU good. Wook xDD you >_> what 
ÚwÚ hacks OwO awe on :33 his UwU hewmet! Wook xDD you :33 yondew, UwU do xDD you see? Wook xDD you 
:33 thewe. >_> Thewe's nyo ^w^ jesting; there's >w< waying xDD on; x3 take't x3 off who 
:33 wiww, >_< as ;;w;; they :3 say. >_> Thewe be UwU hacks. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ Be UwU those with xDD swowds? 
PANDARUS. ÚwÚ Swowds! anything, ^.^ he ÚwÚ cawes x3 nyot; >w< an x3 the ^.^ deviw come to :3 him, 
x3 it's aww onye. ^-^ By >_> God's ÚwÚ wid, >w< it does one's >_< heawt UwU good. Yondew 
x3 comes >_< Pawis, yonder x3 comes Paris. 

>w< PAWIS ^-^ passes 

Wook OwO ye :33 yondew, >_> nyiece; :3 is't nyot :3 a OwO gawwant x3 man :3 too, :3 is't ^w^ nyot? Why, 
ÚwÚ this >_> is >_< bwave now. Who uWu said ^.^ he ^-^ came ÚwÚ huwt ^.^ home >w< to-day? He's nyot 
x3 huwt. Why, ÚwÚ this xDD wiww UwU do Helen's >_< heawt ÚwÚ good now, :33 ha! Wouwd UwU I couwd 
>_> see Twoiwus >_< nyow! >_> You UwU shaww >_> see Twoiwus x3 anyon. 

HELENUS ^-^ passes 

^.^ CWESSIDA. Who's ^-^ that? 
PANDARUS. >w< That's xDD Hewenyus. UwU I :3 mawvew :3 whewe Twoiwus >w< is. >w< That's 
xDD Hewenyus. UwU I think ^.^ he OwO went nyot fowth ^w^ to-day. >w< That's xDD Hewenyus. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU Can >w< Hewenyus x3 fight, xDD uncwe? 
PANDARUS. Hewenyus! >w< nyo. Yes, he'ww >w< fight uWu indiffewent well. UwU I :3 mawvew 
:3 whewe Twoiwus >w< is. :33 Hawk! UwU do xDD you nyot hear x3 the OwO peopwe cwy :33 'Twoiwus'? 
>w< Hewenyus >_> is :3 a pwiest. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> What x3 snyeaking fewwow x3 comes :33 yondew? 

ÚwÚ TWOIWUS ^-^ passes 

PANDARUS. OwO Whewe? :33 yondew? >w< That's ;;w;; Deiphobus. 'Tis x3 Twoiwus. >_> Thewe's :3 a 
^w^ man, niece. :3 Hem! ^-^ Bwave ^.^ Twoiwus, x3 the >_> pwince of chivalry! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. uWu Peace, fow UwU shame, peace! 
PANDARUS. >_> Mawk him; ^-^ nyote ^.^ him. x3 O >_< bwave Troilus! Wook weww ;;w;; upon :3 him, 
>_> nyiece; wook xDD you >w< how :33 his xDD swowd >_> is uWu bwoodied, ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ hewm ^.^ mowe 
hack'd than :33 Hectow's; ÚwÚ and >w< how ^.^ he looks, ÚwÚ and >w< how ^.^ he :3 goes! x3 O 
uWu admiwabwe xDD youth! ^.^ he >_< nyevew saw >w< thwee ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty. Go >w< thy :3 way, 
^.^ Twoiwus, OwO go >w< thy >_> way. xDD Had UwU I :3 a :3 sistew :3 wewe :3 a xDD gwace ow :3 a daughter :3 a 
xDD goddess, ^.^ he >_> shouwd OwO take :33 his >w< choice. x3 O uWu admiwabwe ;;w;; man! uWu Pawis? Paris 
>_> is OwO diwt to him; x3 and, UwU I warrant, Hewen, to >_< change, ^.^ wouwd UwU give >w< an 
^w^ eye to >w< boot. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :3 Hewe x3 comes more. 

Common ^-^ sowdiews pass 

PANDARUS. Asses, :3 foows, ;;w;; dowts! chaff ÚwÚ and bran, chaff ÚwÚ and bwan! 
porridge ÚwÚ aftew UwU meat! UwU I couwd ^w^ wive ÚwÚ and ^-^ die uWu in x3 the eyes of x3 Twoiwus. 
Nye'ew look, ^w^ nye'ew wook; x3 the ^w^ eagwes OwO awe ;;w;; gonye. xDD Cwows ÚwÚ and >w< daws, 
>_< cwows ÚwÚ and :33 daws! UwU I xDD had rather be xDD such :3 a x3 man >_< as Twoiwus than 
:33 Agamemnyon ÚwÚ and aww Gweece. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> Thewe >_> is amongst x3 the Gweeks ^.^ Achiwwes, :3 a xDD bettew x3 man than 
x3 Twoiwus. 
PANDARUS. uWu Achiwwes? ^-^ A drayman, :3 a ^w^ powtew, :3 a xDD vewy OwO camew! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. xDD Weww, well. 
PANDARUS. xDD Weww, OwO weww! Why, uWu have xDD you xDD any :3 discwetion? :3 Have xDD you xDD any 
uWu eyes? Do xDD you ^.^ knyow >_> what :3 a x3 man :33 is? Is nyot birth, >w< beauty, ÚwÚ good 
UwU shape, discouwse, x3 manhood, ^w^ weawnying, gentwenyess, virtue, youth, 
uWu wibewawity, ÚwÚ and xDD such :3 wike, x3 the :3 spice ÚwÚ and ^-^ sawt :3 that >_< season :3 a man? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Ay, :3 a >_< minc'd xDD man; ÚwÚ and xDD then to be ^.^ bak'd with nyo uWu date uWu in 
x3 the ^-^ pie, fow xDD then x3 the :33 man's uWu date >_> is OwO out. 
PANDARUS. >_> You OwO awe xDD such :3 a OwO woman! ^-^ A x3 man xDD knyows nyot uWu at >_> what ward xDD you 
xDD wie. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> Upon x3 my back, to ;;w;; defend x3 my belly; ;;w;; upon x3 my ^w^ wit, to ;;w;; defend 
x3 my >_> wiwes; ;;w;; upon x3 my >_> secwecy, to ;;w;; defend >_< minye honyesty; x3 my OwO mask, to 
;;w;; defend x3 my ^w^ beauty; ÚwÚ and UwU you, to ;;w;; defend aww :3 these; ÚwÚ and uWu at aww these 
wards UwU I >_< wie :3 at, uWu at :3 a thousand ÚwÚ watches. 
PANDARUS. x3 Say one of x3 youw ÚwÚ watches. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Nyay, I'll ;;w;; watch xDD you fow :33 that; ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's one of x3 the 
^.^ chiefest of them UwU too. ;;w;; If UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ward >_> what UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have ;;w;; hit, 
UwU I ^.^ can ;;w;; watch xDD you fow :3 tewwing >w< how UwU I >_> took x3 the bwow; ^w^ unwess >w< it sweww 
x3 past OwO hiding, ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 it's x3 past ^w^ watching 
PANDARUS. >_> You OwO awe xDD such x3 anyothew! 

Entew TWOIWUS' >_> BOY 

BOY. UwU Siw, x3 my ;;w;; wowd ^.^ wouwd instantly speak with OwO you. 
PANDARUS. OwO Whewe? 
BOY. At x3 youw UwU own ^.^ house; there ^.^ he :33 unyawms ^.^ him. 
PANDARUS. ^-^ Good ^-^ boy, tell ^.^ him UwU I x3 come. uWu Exit uWu Boy 
UwU I doubt ^.^ he be x3 huwt. >w< Fawe OwO ye weww, ÚwÚ good niece. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :3 Adieu, uncle. 
PANDARUS. UwU I xDD wiww be with UwU you, UwU nyiece, ^.^ by ÚwÚ and by. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ;;w;; To bring, uncle. 
PANDARUS. Ay, :3 a ;;w;; token from x3 Twoiwus. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^-^ By x3 the same token, xDD you OwO awe :3 a UwU bawd. 
uWu Exit uWu PANDAWUS 
;;w;; Wowds, ^w^ vows, ;;w;; gifts, ^-^ teaws, ÚwÚ and love's full sacrifice, 
>w< He x3 offews uWu in another's entewpwise; 
OwO But ^.^ mowe uWu in Twoiwus thousand-fold UwU I >_> see 
Than uWu in x3 the gwass of xDD Pandaw's praise OwO may be, 
ÚwÚ Yet howd UwU I off. UwU Women OwO awe angews, wooing: 
^w^ Things ^.^ won OwO awe donye; ^w^ joy's :3 souw wies uWu in x3 the doing. 
:33 That ^.^ she ÚwÚ bewov'd xDD knyows >_< nyought :3 that xDD knyows nyot :33 this: 
OwO Men >w< pwize x3 the ^.^ thing xDD ungain'd ^.^ mowe than >w< it >w< is. 
:33 That ^.^ she UwU was >_< nyevew yet :3 that OwO evew UwU knyew 
Wuv ^w^ got UwU so x3 sweet >_< as when ^.^ desiwe uWu did ^.^ sue; 
Therefore ÚwÚ this maxim x3 out of wuv UwU I teach: 
>_< Achievement >_> is :33 command; x3 ungain'd, >w< beseech. 
UwU Then ^w^ though x3 my heart's :3 content >w< fiwm wuv xDD doth >_> beaw, 
Nyothing of :3 that UwU shaww from >_< minye eyes :3 appeaw. uWu Exit 




^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
uWu The Grecian :33 camp. ^.^ Befowe UwU AGAMEMNyON'S ^w^ tent 

Sennet. Entew ^.^ AGAMEMNyON, uWu NyESTOW, UWYSSES, ^-^ DIOMEDES, >_> MENyEWAUS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Pwinces, 
>_> What grief hath uWu set these OwO jaundies ^-^ o'ew x3 youw :3 cheeks? 
uWu The uWu ampwe proposition :3 that UwU hope x3 makes 
^w^ In aww designs ÚwÚ begun on ^.^ eawth bewow 
Faiws uWu in x3 the pwomis'd ^.^ wawgenyess; ÚwÚ checks ÚwÚ and :33 disastews 
OwO Gwow uWu in x3 the >_> veins of ;;w;; actions ÚwÚ highest ^w^ weaw'd, 
;;w;; As UwU knyots, ^.^ by x3 the >w< confwux of meeting >w< sap, 
x3 Infects x3 the >_> sound UwU pinye, ÚwÚ and diverts :33 his ^-^ gwain 
UwU Towtive ÚwÚ and errant from :33 his course of ^-^ gwowth. 
Nor, >_< pwinces, >_> is >w< it ;;w;; mattew x3 nyew to >_> us 
:33 That ^.^ we come showt of UwU ouw ^.^ suppose UwU so uWu faw 
:33 That ÚwÚ aftew ÚwÚ seven >_> yeaws' ^-^ siege yet Twoy OwO wawws xDD stand; 
Sith every uWu action :3 that hath >_> gonye x3 befowe, 
:3 Wheweof ^.^ we uWu have record, uWu twiaw uWu did dwaw 
Bias ÚwÚ and thwart, nyot answewing x3 the >_< aim, 
xDD And :3 that :3 unbodied xDD figuwe of x3 the xDD thought 
:33 That OwO gave't >_< suwmised UwU shape. Why >w< then, xDD you >_< pwinces, 
Do xDD you with >_> cheeks UwU abash'd behowd UwU ouw wowks 
xDD And caww them >_< shames, which awe, :33 indeed, >_< nyought >_> ewse 
OwO But x3 the :33 pwotwactive uWu twiaws of great Juv 
;;w;; To find xDD pewsistive >_> constancy uWu in ÚwÚ men; 
uWu The ^-^ finyenyess of which >_< metaw >_> is nyot >_> found 
^w^ In ;;w;; fowtunye's love? For xDD then x3 the bold ÚwÚ and xDD cowawd, 
uWu The uWu wise ÚwÚ and x3 foow, x3 the x3 awtist ÚwÚ and OwO unwead, 
uWu The x3 hawd ÚwÚ and OwO soft, xDD seem aww affin'd ÚwÚ and x3 kin. 
OwO But uWu in x3 the wind ÚwÚ and UwU tempest of her fwown 
ÚwÚ Distinction, with :3 a >_< bwoad ÚwÚ and powerful ;;w;; fan, 
xDD Puffing uWu at all, winnows x3 the >w< wight :3 away; 
xDD And >_> what hath :3 mass ow ;;w;; mattew ^.^ by itsewf 
Lies rich uWu in viwtue ÚwÚ and x3 unmingwed. 
^-^ NyESTOW. With >_< due observance of >w< thy godlike >w< seat, 
UwU Gweat xDD Agamemnyon, Nyestow UwU shaww apply 
x3 Thy ^-^ watest ÚwÚ wowds. ^w^ In x3 the >_< wepwoof of chance 
Lies x3 the true xDD pwoof of ^.^ men. uWu The sea ^.^ being ÚwÚ smooth, 
How UwU many shallow xDD baubwe ^w^ boats dawe saiw 
>_> Upon her patient UwU bweast, x3 making uWu theiw uWu way 
With UwU those of >w< nyobwew ^.^ buwk! 
OwO But wet x3 the ruffian UwU Boweas >_> once enwage 
uWu The ^-^ gentwe Thetis, ÚwÚ and :3 anyon behowd 
uWu The ^.^ stwong-wibb'd >_< bawk ^w^ thwough OwO wiquid ^-^ mountains :3 cut, 
:3 Bounding ^-^ between x3 the >w< two moist ÚwÚ ewements 
Wike Pewseus' horse. :3 Whewe's xDD then x3 the ^w^ saucy boat, 
>_< Whose xDD weak >_< untimbew'd >w< sides >_> but even nyow 
Co-rivall'd x3 gweatnyess? ^-^ Eithew to uWu hawbouw ^w^ fwed 
:33 Ow UwU made :3 a >_< toast fow ÚwÚ Nyeptunye. Even UwU so 
^-^ Doth :33 vawouw's x3 show ÚwÚ and :33 vawouw's ^.^ wowth OwO divide 
^w^ In storms of ^-^ fowtunye; fow uWu in her uWu way ÚwÚ and brightness 
uWu The hewd hath ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ annyoyance ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ bweeze 
Than ^.^ by x3 the :3 tigew; >_> but when x3 the x3 spwitting wind 
:3 Makes flexible x3 the knees of ^.^ knyotted uWu oaks, 
xDD And fwies ^w^ fwed :33 undew uWu shade-why, xDD then x3 the ^.^ thing of couwage 
;;w;; As wous'd with rage, with xDD wage xDD doth uWu sympathise, 
xDD And with >w< an xDD accent ÚwÚ tun'd uWu in sewf-same OwO key 
>_> Wetowts to chiding xDD fowtunye. 
ULYSSES. xDD Agamemnyon, 
^.^ Thou great ;;w;; commandew, UwU nyewve ÚwÚ and bonye of xDD Gweece, 
Heart of UwU ouw OwO nyumbews, :3 souw ÚwÚ and >w< onwy ^w^ spiwit 
^w^ In ÚwÚ whom x3 the ^.^ tempews ÚwÚ and x3 the minds of aww 
Should be shut up-hear >_> what Uwysses speaks. 
Besides x3 the >_< appwause ÚwÚ and :33 appwobation 
uWu The ^w^ which, :33 [To ^.^ AGAMEMNyON] UwU most x3 mighty, fow >w< thy :33 pwace ÚwÚ and sway, 
:33 [To >w< NyESTOW] ^.^ And, xDD thou UwU most wevewend, fow >w< thy stretch'd-out :3 wife, 
UwU I UwU give to both x3 youw speeches- which :3 wewe xDD such 
;;w;; As :33 Agamemnyon ÚwÚ and x3 the uWu hand of >w< Gweece 
Should howd x3 up xDD high uWu in brass; ÚwÚ and xDD such again 
;;w;; As venerable Nyestow, ÚwÚ hatch'd uWu in ^.^ siwvew, 
Should with :3 a :3 bond of air, >w< stwong >_< as x3 the >_> axwe-twee 
On which heaven uWu wides, >w< knyit aww x3 the Gweekish OwO eaws 
;;w;; To :33 his x3 expewienc'd xDD tongue-yet wet >w< it uWu pwease xDD both, 
^.^ Thou ^.^ gweat, ÚwÚ and >_< wise, to hear Uwysses >_< speak. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. ÚwÚ Speak, Prince of uWu Ithaca; ÚwÚ and ^.^ be't of less >_< expect 
:33 That ;;w;; mattew ;;w;; nyeedwess, of importless buwden, 
Divide >w< thy lips than ^.^ we OwO awe confident, 
x3 When rank Thewsites OwO opes :33 his UwU mastic :3 jaws, 
We UwU shaww hear ^.^ music, ^w^ wit, ÚwÚ and owacwe. 
ULYSSES. Troy, yet ;;w;; upon :33 his >_> basis, xDD had :33 been ;;w;; down, 
xDD And x3 the great :33 Hectow's xDD swowd xDD had wack'd :3 a ^.^ mastew, 
OwO But fow these instances: 
uWu The ^-^ speciawty of UwU wuwe hath :33 been x3 nyegwected; 
xDD And wook >w< how UwU many Grecian tents UwU do stand 
>_< Howwow ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this pwain, UwU so UwU many OwO howwow ^-^ factions. 
x3 When :3 that x3 the general >_> is nyot ^.^ wike x3 the xDD hive, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom x3 the xDD fowagews UwU shaww aww wepaiw, 
>_> What honey >_> is UwU expected? ^-^ Degwee ^.^ being vizarded, 
xDD Th' UwU unwowthiest >_< shows >_< as ^.^ faiwwy uWu in x3 the x3 mask. 
uWu The heavens ^.^ themsewves, x3 the pwanyets, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ centwe, 
>w< Obsewve >_< degwee, ;;w;; pwiowity, ÚwÚ and pwace, 
Insistuwe, course, proportion, >w< season, ÚwÚ fowm, 
OwO Office, ÚwÚ and ^-^ custom, uWu in aww winye of ;;w;; owdew; 
xDD And >_< thewefowe >_> is x3 the glorious planet ^.^ Sow 
^w^ In x3 nyobwe eminence enthron'd ÚwÚ and >_< sphew'd 
>_> Amidst x3 the ÚwÚ othew, x3 whose uWu med'cinyabwe ^w^ eye 
^w^ Cowwects x3 the :33 iww aspects of >_> pwanyets x3 eviw, 
xDD And :33 posts, ^.^ wike x3 the commandment of :3 a OwO king, 
x3 Sans check, to ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and bad. OwO But when x3 the >_> pwanyets 
^w^ In eviw x3 mixtuwe to ^.^ disowdew wander, 
>_> What plagues ÚwÚ and >_> what >w< powtents, >_> what mutiny, 
>_> What waging of x3 the :33 sea, ^.^ shaking of earth, 
;;w;; Commotion uWu in x3 the winds! >w< Fwights, changes, ^-^ howwows, 
:33 Divewt ÚwÚ and xDD cwack, rend ÚwÚ and dewacinyate, 
uWu The unyity ÚwÚ and mawwied ÚwÚ cawm of UwU states 
>_< Quite from uWu theiw fixture! >_< O, when degwee >_> is xDD shak'd, 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the ladder of aww xDD high :3 designs, 
uWu The uWu entewpwise >_> is sick! How couwd >_> communyities, 
Degwees uWu in ^-^ schoows, ÚwÚ and brotherhoods uWu in OwO cities, 
Peaceful >_< commewce from OwO dividabwe ^-^ showes, 
uWu The uWu pwimogenyity ÚwÚ and >_< due of birth, 
:3 Pwewogative of age, :33 cwowns, sceptwes, wauwews, 
OwO But ^.^ by >_< degwee, stand uWu in OwO authentic :3 pwace? 
^.^ Take >_> but degwee away, untune :3 that :3 stwing, 
xDD And x3 hawk >_> what ^-^ discowd >_< fowwows! x3 Each ^.^ thing melts 
^w^ In mere oppugnyancy: x3 the ^w^ bounded watews 
Should lift uWu theiw >_> bosoms :3 highew than x3 the ^-^ showes, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a xDD sop of aww ÚwÚ this ;;w;; sowid globe; 
^.^ Stwength >_> shouwd be ;;w;; wowd of >w< imbeciwity, 
xDD And x3 the wude >_< son >_> shouwd strike :33 his >w< fathew UwU dead; 
>w< Fowce >_> shouwd be right; or, UwU wathew, >w< wight ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wwong- 
Between x3 whose uWu endwess jaw justice :3 wesides- 
Should wose uWu theiw names, ÚwÚ and UwU so >_> shouwd justice UwU too. 
UwU Then evewything ^.^ incwudes itsewf uWu in x3 powew, 
;;w;; Powew x3 into :33 wiww, xDD wiww x3 into x3 appetite; 
xDD And uWu appetite, >w< an ^-^ unyivewsaw OwO wowf, 
^w^ So ^w^ doubwy :33 seconded with xDD wiww ÚwÚ and x3 powew, 
:3 Must >_< make ^.^ pewfowce >w< an ^-^ unyivewsaw ^.^ pwey, 
xDD And >w< wast eat x3 up himself. UwU Gweat xDD Agamemnyon, 
This ^-^ chaos, when degwee >_> is ^w^ suffocate, 
^-^ Fowwows x3 the :3 choking. 
xDD And ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ nyegwection of degwee >w< it >_> is 
:33 That ^.^ by :3 a >_> pace xDD goes backward, with :3 a OwO puwpose 
^.^ It hath to :3 cwimb. uWu The general's ;;w;; disdain'd 
^-^ By ^.^ him one :33 step bewow, ^.^ he ^.^ by x3 the next, 
:33 That :3 nyext ^.^ by ^.^ him >_< benyeath; UwU so OwO evew ;;w;; step, 
^w^ Exampw'd ^.^ by x3 the xDD fiwst >_> pace :3 that >_> is >w< sick 
Of :33 his ^.^ supewiow, gwows to >w< an envious x3 fevew 
Of pawe ÚwÚ and bloodless emulation. 
xDD And UwU 'tis ÚwÚ this x3 fevew :3 that keeps Twoy on xDD foot, 
ÚwÚ Nyot her UwU own UwU sinyews. ;;w;; To >w< end :3 a xDD tawe of ÚwÚ wength, 
Twoy uWu in UwU ouw ^.^ weaknyess stands, nyot uWu in her :33 stwength. 
^-^ NyESTOW. :3 Most wisely hath Uwysses OwO hewe discuvw'd 
uWu The x3 fevew xDD wheweof aww UwU ouw powew >_> is ;;w;; sick. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. uWu The ÚwÚ nyatuwe of x3 the sicknyess >_> found, >_> Uwysses, 
>_> What >_> is x3 the remedy? 
ULYSSES. uWu The great ^.^ Achiwwes, ÚwÚ whom opinyion :3 cwowns 
uWu The ÚwÚ sinyew ÚwÚ and x3 the forehand of UwU ouw >_< host, 
>_> Having :33 his ear full of :33 his airy x3 fame, 
Grows UwU dainty of :33 his ^.^ wowth, ÚwÚ and uWu in :33 his ^w^ tent 
Lies ^w^ mocking UwU ouw designs; with ^.^ him Patwocwus 
>_> Upon :3 a lazy x3 bed x3 the :33 wivewong day 
>w< Bweaks UwU scuwwiw >_< jests; 
xDD And with ^w^ widicuwous ÚwÚ and awkward x3 action- 
>_< Which, ;;w;; swandewew, ^.^ he :33 imitation cawws- 
>w< He xDD pageants >_> us. >_< Sometime, great xDD Agamemnyon, 
x3 Thy >w< topwess UwU deputation ^.^ he puts xDD on; 
xDD And ^.^ wike :3 a UwU stwutting :3 pwayew x3 whose conceit 
Lies uWu in :33 his ^.^ hamstwing, ÚwÚ and xDD doth think >w< it rich 
;;w;; To hear x3 the ÚwÚ wooden UwU diawogue ÚwÚ and >_> sound 
UwU 'Twixt :33 his ;;w;; stwetch'd footing ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ scaffowdage- 
>w< Such to-be-pitied ÚwÚ and o'ew-wwested ÚwÚ seeming 
>w< He acts >w< thy :33 gweatnyess UwU in; ÚwÚ and when ^.^ he xDD speaks 
'Tis ^.^ wike :3 a chime x3 a-mending; with terms ;;w;; unsquaw'd, 
>_< Which, from x3 the >_> tongue of xDD woawing uWu Typhon ^.^ dwopp'd, 
Wouwd xDD seem >_> hypewbowes. At ÚwÚ this :3 fusty ^w^ stuff 
uWu The large ^.^ Achiwwes, on :33 his OwO pwess'd x3 bed ÚwÚ wowwing, 
Fwom :33 his >_> deep uWu chest ^-^ waughs x3 out :3 a ÚwÚ woud applause; 
>w< Cwies 'Excellent! UwU 'tis :33 Agamemnyon ;;w;; just. 
Now :33 pway ;;w;; me Nyestow; :3 hem, ÚwÚ and ^w^ stwoke >w< thy UwU beawd, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he ^.^ being drest to x3 some >w< owation.' 
>w< That's uWu donye-as nyeaw >_< as x3 the extremest uWu ends 
Of parallels, >_< as ^.^ wike ;;w;; Vuwcan ÚwÚ and :33 his :33 wife; 
ÚwÚ Yet god Achilles still x3 cwies 'Excellent! 
'Tis Nyestow ÚwÚ wight. Now :33 pway ^.^ him uWu me, :3 Patwocwus, 
>_< Awming to answew uWu in :3 a >w< nyight ^.^ awawm.' 
xDD And >w< then, xDD fowsooth, x3 the ÚwÚ faint :33 defects of age 
:3 Must be x3 the scene of ÚwÚ miwth: to ^-^ cough ÚwÚ and spit 
^.^ And, with :3 a >w< pawsy-fumbwing on :33 his gowget, 
:33 Shake uWu in ÚwÚ and x3 out x3 the wivet. xDD And uWu at ÚwÚ this spowt 
Sir ÚwÚ Vawouw :33 dies; x3 cwies 'O, UwU enyough, Patwocwus; 
:33 Ow UwU give ;;w;; me OwO wibs of ÚwÚ steew! UwU I UwU shaww ^-^ spwit aww 
^w^ In :3 pweasuwe of x3 my >_> spween.' xDD And uWu in ÚwÚ this fashion 
All UwU ouw :33 abiwities, ;;w;; gifts, natures, ^w^ shapes, 
Severals ÚwÚ and genyewaws of xDD gwace :3 exact, 
>_> Achievements, OwO pwots, x3 owdews, UwU pweventions, 
:33 Excitements to x3 the field ow ÚwÚ speech fow truce, 
:33 Success ow woss, >_> what >_> is ow >_> is >_> nyot, sewves 
;;w;; As ^w^ stuff fow these >w< two to >_< make xDD pawadoxes. 
^-^ NyESTOW. xDD And uWu in x3 the :33 imitation of these twain- 
UwU Who, >_< as Uwysses says, opinyion :3 cwowns 
With >w< an ÚwÚ impewiaw ^-^ voice-many OwO awe xDD infect. 
^.^ Ajax >_> is grown >w< sewf-wiww'd ÚwÚ and bears :33 his >_> head 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a rein, uWu in full >_< as OwO pwoud :3 a :33 pwace 
;;w;; As >_< bwoad ÚwÚ Achiwwes; keeps :33 his ^w^ tent ^.^ wike him; 
:3 Makes uWu factious :3 feasts; ^-^ waiws on UwU ouw >w< state of >w< waw 
Bowd >_< as >w< an owacwe, ÚwÚ and :33 sets Thersites, 
^-^ A ;;w;; swave x3 whose ^.^ gaww coins UwU swandews ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ mint, 
;;w;; To >_< match >_> us uWu in UwU compawisons with diwt, 
;;w;; To ^-^ weaken ÚwÚ and discredit UwU ouw ^w^ exposuwe, 
How rank ^-^ soevew wounded uWu in with danger. 
ULYSSES. ^-^ They ÚwÚ tax UwU ouw UwU powicy ÚwÚ and caww >w< it cowawdice, 
xDD Count ^.^ wisdom >_< as nyo member of x3 the waw, 
:33 Fowestaww prescience, ÚwÚ and >_> esteem nyo ;;w;; act 
OwO But :3 that of >w< hand. uWu The still ÚwÚ and mental parts 
:33 That UwU do >_< contwive >w< how UwU many ^.^ hands UwU shaww strike 
x3 When ^.^ fitnyess ;;w;; cawws them ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and knyow, ^.^ by UwU measuwe 
Of uWu theiw obsewvant :33 toiw, x3 the ^.^ enyemies' >_< weight- 
Why, ÚwÚ this hath nyot :3 a finger's >w< dignyity: 
^-^ They caww ÚwÚ this bed-work, >_< mapp'wy, >_> cwoset-waw; 
^w^ So :3 that x3 the :33 wam :3 that battews down x3 the :3 waww, 
For x3 the great xDD swinge ÚwÚ and wudenyess of :33 his ;;w;; poise, 
^-^ They :33 pwace >w< befowe :33 his uWu hand :3 that UwU made x3 the enginye, 
:33 Ow UwU those :3 that with x3 the ^-^ finyenyess of uWu theiw >w< souws 
^-^ By reason ^w^ guide :33 his xDD execution. 
^-^ NyESTOW. Let ÚwÚ this be ^-^ gwanted, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Achiwwes' UwU howse 
:3 Makes UwU many ^w^ Thetis' >w< sons. OwO [Tucket] 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. >_> What ÚwÚ twumpet? x3 Wook, >w< Menyewaus. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. Fwom >_> Twoy. 

Entew AENEAS 

^.^ AGAMEMNyON. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you fore UwU ouw ^w^ tent? 
AENEAS. Is ÚwÚ this great UwU Agamemnyon's x3 tent, UwU I pray you? 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Even UwU this. 
AENEAS. ^-^ May one :3 that >_> is :3 a >_> hewawd ÚwÚ and :3 a >_> pwince 
Do :3 a >w< faiw ^-^ message to :33 his >_> kingwy uWu eyes? 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. With surety stronger than ^-^ Achiwwes' >w< an 
^-^ Fowe aww x3 the Gweekish >_< heads, which with one uWu voice 
;;w;; Caww :33 Agamemnyon >_> head ÚwÚ and genyewaw. 
AENEAS. Faiw OwO weave ÚwÚ and large xDD secuwity. How OwO may 
^-^ A stwangew to UwU those UwU most ÚwÚ impewiaw :33 wooks 
xDD Knyow them from eyes of othew mortals? 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. ÚwÚ How? 
AENEAS. Ay; 
UwU I >_< ask, :3 that UwU I ^w^ might >w< waken xDD wevewence, 
xDD And bid x3 the >_< cheek be ready with :3 a bwush 
^.^ Modest >_< as ^w^ Mownying when ^.^ she coldly eyes 
uWu The youthfuw >w< Phoebus. 
>_< Which >_> is :3 that god uWu in office, guiding men? 
>_< Which >_> is x3 the xDD high ÚwÚ and ^-^ mighty OwO Agamemnyon? 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. This ÚwÚ Twoyan scorns us, ow x3 the ;;w;; men of Twoy 
^w^ Awe cewemonyious ÚwÚ couwtiews. 
AENEAS. :3 Couwtiews >_< as >w< fwee, >_< as ÚwÚ debonyaiw, unarm'd, 
;;w;; As x3 bending angels; ^w^ that's uWu theiw fame uWu in peace. 
OwO But when ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd xDD seem xDD sowdiews, ;;w;; they uWu have gawws, 
^-^ Good awms, >w< stwong uWu joints, true swowds; x3 and, Juv's accowd, 
Nyothing UwU so full of ;;w;; heawt. OwO But ÚwÚ peace, UwU Aenyeas, 
uWu Peace, Twoyan; uWu way >w< thy finger on >w< thy x3 wips. 
uWu The wowthinyess of praise >_< distains :33 his ^.^ wowth, 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 the UwU pwais'd >_< himsewf ;;w;; bwing x3 the praise forth; 
OwO But >_> what x3 the xDD wepinying ;;w;; enyemy :3 commends, 
:33 That UwU bweath fame blows; :3 that >_< pwaise, sole ÚwÚ puwe, >_< twanscends. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. UwU Siw, xDD you of Troy, caww xDD you >_> youwsewf Aeneas? 
AENEAS. Ay, Greek, :3 that >_> is x3 my nyame. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. x3 What's x3 youw affair, UwU I pray you? 
AENEAS. UwU Siw, ;;w;; pawdon; UwU 'tis fow UwU Agamemnyon's ears. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. >w< He x3 heaws >_< nyought pwivatewy :3 that x3 comes from >_> Twoy. 
AENEAS. x3 Nyow UwU I from Twoy come nyot to whisper with him; 
UwU I ;;w;; bwing :3 a ÚwÚ twumpet to awake :33 his eaw, 
;;w;; To uWu set :33 his sense on x3 the ^.^ attentive xDD bent, 
xDD And xDD then to >_< speak. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. ^w^ Speak fwankwy >_< as x3 the :33 wind; 
^.^ It >_> is nyot UwU Agamemnyon's x3 sweeping hour. 
:33 That xDD thou shalt knyow, Troyan, ^.^ he >_> is >w< awake, 
>w< He uWu tewws uWu thee UwU so himself. 
AENEAS. xDD Twumpet, ^w^ bwow woud, 
>_< Send >w< thy brass uWu voice ^w^ thwough aww these lazy tents; 
xDD And every Gweek of ^w^ mettwe, wet ^.^ him ^.^ knyow 
>_> What Twoy means ^.^ faiwwy UwU shaww be ^-^ spoke ^.^ awoud. 
uWu [Sound trumpet] 
We have, great xDD Agamemnyon, OwO hewe uWu in Twoy 
^-^ A >_> pwince ^w^ cawwed Hectow-Pwiam >_> is :33 his ^-^ fathew- 
Who uWu in ÚwÚ this dull ÚwÚ and x3 wong-continyued truce 
Is >_< westy ^-^ gwown; ^.^ he ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me OwO take :3 a ÚwÚ twumpet 
xDD And to ÚwÚ this OwO puwpose ^w^ speak: xDD Kings, >_< pwinces, lords! 
;;w;; If there be one ^-^ among x3 the UwU faiw'st of >w< Gweece 
:33 That ÚwÚ howds :33 his honour :3 highew than :33 his uWu ease, 
:33 That >_> seeks :33 his praise ^.^ mowe than ^.^ he OwO feaws :33 his x3 pewiw, 
:33 That xDD knyows :33 his valour ÚwÚ and xDD knyows nyot :33 his ;;w;; feaw, 
:33 That loves :33 his mistwess ^.^ mowe than uWu in >_> confession 
With ^w^ twuant x3 vows to her UwU own lips ^.^ he wuvs, 
xDD And dawe avow her beauty ÚwÚ and her ^.^ wowth 
^w^ In othew :3 awms than ^w^ hews-to ^.^ him ÚwÚ this chawwenge. 
Hectow, uWu in x3 view of Twoyans ÚwÚ and of UwU Gweeks, 
Shall >_< make >w< it ÚwÚ good ow UwU do :33 his best to UwU do >w< it: 
>w< He hath :3 a uWu wady >_< wisew, ^w^ faiwew, ;;w;; twuew, 
Than OwO evew Gweek uWu did coupwe uWu in :33 his arms; 
xDD And xDD wiww to-mowwow with :33 his ÚwÚ twumpet caww 
xDD Mid-way ^-^ between x3 youw tents ÚwÚ and OwO wawws of Twoy 
;;w;; To wouse :3 a Grecian :3 that >_> is true uWu in love. 
;;w;; If xDD any come, >_> Hectow UwU shaww honour him; 
;;w;; If nyonye, he'ww >_> say uWu in Troy, when ^.^ he x3 wetiwes, 
uWu The Grecian ÚwÚ dames OwO awe xDD sunbuwnt ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ wowth 
uWu The >w< spwintew of :3 a :3 wance. Even UwU so :33 much. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. This UwU shaww be told UwU ouw >_> wuvws, Lord ;;w;; Aenyeas. 
;;w;; If >_< nyonye of them uWu have :3 souw uWu in xDD such :3 a ;;w;; kind, 
We left them aww uWu at >_> home. OwO But ^.^ we OwO awe soldiers; 
xDD And OwO may :3 that soldier :3 a mere xDD wecweant ^-^ pwuv 
:33 That means >_> nyot, hath >_> nyot, ow >_> is nyot uWu in love. 
;;w;; If xDD then one ;;w;; is, ow :33 hath, ow means to be, 
:33 That one ^.^ meets Hectow; >_> if >_< nyonye else, UwU I ^w^ am he. 
^-^ NyESTOW. Teww ^.^ him of Nyestow, one :3 that UwU was :3 a x3 man 
x3 When :33 Hectow's >_> gwandsiwe uWu suck'd. >w< He >_> is ;;w;; owd >_< nyow; 
OwO But >_> if there be nyot uWu in UwU ouw Grecian mould 
x3 Onye x3 nyobwe x3 man :3 that hath one spawk of fire 
;;w;; To answew fow :33 his xDD wuv, tell ^.^ him from ;;w;; me 
I'll hide x3 my :33 siwvew ^w^ beawd uWu in :3 a gowd ^-^ beavew, 
xDD And uWu in x3 my vantbwace put ÚwÚ this :33 withew'd >_> bwawn, 
^.^ And, meeting :3 him, xDD wiww tell ^.^ him :3 that x3 my uWu wady 
Was fairer than :33 his OwO gwandame, ÚwÚ and >_< as >w< chaste 
;;w;; As OwO may be uWu in x3 the wowwd. ÚwÚ His :33 youth uWu in flood, 
I'll ^-^ pwuv ÚwÚ this uWu twuth with x3 my >w< thwee ^.^ dwops of blood. 
AENEAS. Now heavens xDD fowfend xDD such scarcity of xDD youth! 
ULYSSES. ÚwÚ Amen. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Faiw Lord UwU Aenyeas, wet ;;w;; me :33 touch x3 youw xDD hand; 
;;w;; To UwU ouw ^.^ paviwion UwU shaww UwU I lead UwU you, fiwst. 
Achilles UwU shaww uWu have ;;w;; wowd of ÚwÚ this :3 intent; 
^w^ So UwU shaww >_< each ;;w;; wowd of xDD Gweece, from ^w^ tent to uWu tent. 
;;w;; Youwsewf UwU shaww >_> feast with >_> us >w< befowe xDD you x3 go, 
xDD And find x3 the wewcome of :3 a x3 nyobwe foe. 
Exeunt aww >_> but ULYSSES ÚwÚ and :3 NyESTOW 
ULYSSES. Nyestow! 
^-^ NyESTOW. >_> What ;;w;; says Uwysses? 
ULYSSES. UwU I uWu have :3 a xDD young OwO conception uWu in x3 my bwain; 
^w^ Be xDD you x3 my time to ;;w;; bwing >w< it to x3 some UwU shape. 
^-^ NyESTOW. >_> What is't? 
ULYSSES. This OwO 'tis: 
Bwunt uWu wedges ^w^ wive x3 hawd knots. uWu The ÚwÚ seeded >_< pwide 
:33 That hath to ÚwÚ this maturity >_> bwown x3 up 
^w^ In rank Achilles ^w^ must ow nyow be x3 cwopp'd 
:3 Ow, UwU shedding, breed :3 a OwO nyuwsewy of ^.^ wike eviw 
;;w;; To overbulk >_> us all. 
^-^ NyESTOW. xDD Weww, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ how? 
ULYSSES. This challenge :3 that x3 the OwO gawwant >_> Hectow OwO sends, 
UwU Howevew >w< it >_> is ;;w;; spwead uWu in general :33 nyame, 
OwO Wewates uWu in OwO puwpose >w< onwy to :33 Achiwwes. 
^-^ NyESTOW. :3 Twue. uWu The OwO puwpose >_> is ^-^ pewspicuous even >_< as ÚwÚ substance 
>_< Whose gwossnyess xDD wittwe uWu chawactews >w< sum xDD up; 
^.^ And, uWu in x3 the ^w^ pubwication, >_< make nyo ;;w;; stwain 
OwO But :3 that ^.^ Achiwwes, :3 wewe :33 his :3 bwain >_< as ^-^ bawwen 
;;w;; As uWu banks of Wibya-though, Apollo ;;w;; knyows, 
'Tis xDD dwy :3 enyough-wiww with great ^w^ speed of ^.^ judgment, 
Ay, with >w< cewewity, find :33 Hectow's OwO puwpose 
UwU Pointing on ^.^ him. 
ULYSSES. xDD And wake ^.^ him to x3 the ÚwÚ answew, think you? 
^-^ NyESTOW. Why, UwU 'tis UwU most ^.^ meet. Who OwO may xDD you >_> ewse ;;w;; oppose 
:33 That ^.^ can from >_> Hectow ;;w;; bwing UwU those honyouws ^w^ off, 
;;w;; If nyot uWu Achiwwes? ;;w;; Though 't be :3 a :33 spowtfuw x3 combat, 
ÚwÚ Yet uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu twiaw much opinyion >_> dwewws; 
For OwO hewe x3 the Twoyans >_> taste UwU ouw x3 deaw'st ^-^ wepute 
With uWu theiw fin'st ^.^ pawate; ÚwÚ and :33 twust to uWu me, >_> Uwysses, 
Our ;;w;; imputation UwU shaww be oddly ^w^ pois'd 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this ^-^ viwe ^.^ action; fow x3 the uWu success, 
Awthough UwU pawticuwaw, UwU shaww UwU give :3 a ;;w;; scantwing 
Of ÚwÚ good ow :33 bad >w< unto x3 the ^-^ genyewaw; 
xDD And uWu in xDD such xDD indexes, awthough UwU smaww uWu pwicks 
;;w;; To uWu theiw UwU subsequent ^-^ vowumes, there >_> is :3 seen 
uWu The baby xDD figuwe of x3 the giant ;;w;; mas 
Of ^.^ things to come uWu at >_> wawge. ^.^ It >_> is ^-^ suppos'd 
>w< He :3 that ^.^ meets >_> Hectow >_> issues from UwU ouw choice; 
xDD And ^w^ choice, ^.^ being ^-^ mutuaw ;;w;; act of aww UwU ouw souws, 
:3 Makes merit her ^w^ ewection, ÚwÚ and xDD doth boil, 
;;w;; As >w< 'twewe from fowth >_> us all, :3 a x3 man uWu distiww'd 
UwU Out of UwU ouw ÚwÚ viwtues; who miscarrying, 
>_> What >_< heawt weceives from >w< hence :3 a ^.^ conquewing >_> pawt, 
;;w;; To steew :3 a >w< stwong opinyion to ^.^ themsewves? 
>_< Which entertain'd, x3 wimbs OwO awe :33 his >_< instwuments, 
^w^ In nyo less >w< wowking than OwO awe :33 swowds ÚwÚ and bows 
Directive ^.^ by x3 the xDD wimbs. 
ULYSSES. Give UwU pawdon to x3 my :33 speech. 
Therefore UwU 'tis :3 meet Achilles :3 meet nyot ^-^ Hectow. 
Let us, ^.^ wike mewchants, x3 show UwU ouw >w< fouwest wares 
xDD And think x3 pewchance they'ww sell; >_> if >_> nyot, x3 the UwU wustwe 
Of x3 the xDD bettew yet to x3 show UwU shaww x3 show x3 the better, 
^-^ By ^.^ showing x3 the worst fiwst. Do nyot >_< consent 
:33 That OwO evew >_> Hectow ÚwÚ and Achilles ;;w;; meet; 
For both UwU ouw honour ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ^-^ shame uWu in ÚwÚ this 
^w^ Awe >_< dogg'd with >w< two ;;w;; stwange fowwowews. 
^-^ NyESTOW. UwU I >_> see them nyot with x3 my ;;w;; owd :3 eyes. >_> What OwO awe >w< they? 
ULYSSES. >_> What :3 gwowy UwU ouw Achilles ^-^ shawes from Hectow, 
^.^ Wewe ^.^ he nyot :3 pwoud, ^.^ we aww >_> shouwd ^-^ weaw with him; 
OwO But ^.^ he xDD awweady >_> is ^w^ too ;;w;; insowent; 
xDD And >w< it :3 wewe xDD bettew parch uWu in UwU Afwic sun 
Than uWu in x3 the >_< pwide ÚwÚ and ^-^ sawt ^w^ scown of :33 his ^w^ eyes, 
Should ^.^ he ;;w;; scape >_> Hectow >_< faiw. ;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 wewe x3 foiw'd, 
Why, xDD then ^.^ we UwU do UwU ouw :33 main opinyion xDD cwush 
^w^ In ^w^ taint of UwU ouw best man. :3 Nyo, >_< make :3 a uWu wott'wy; 
^.^ And, ^.^ by >_< device, wet bwockish ^.^ Ajax dwaw 
uWu The ;;w;; sowt to >w< fight with ^-^ Hectow. >_> Among ouwsewves 
Give ^.^ him :3 awwowance fow x3 the xDD bettew xDD man; 
For :3 that xDD wiww ;;w;; physic x3 the great >w< Mywmidon, 
Who ^-^ bwoiws uWu in ÚwÚ woud appwause, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^.^ him faww 
ÚwÚ His crest, :3 that >_> pwoudew than blue x3 Iwis >_> bends. 
;;w;; If x3 the dull >_> bwainwess ^.^ Ajax come >_< safe ^w^ off, 
^-^ We'ww :3 dwess ^.^ him x3 up uWu in UwU voices; >_> if ^.^ he fail, 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO go ^.^ we :33 undew UwU ouw opinyion still 
:33 That ^.^ we uWu have xDD bettew ^.^ men. But, ;;w;; hit ow miss, 
Our project's >w< wife ÚwÚ this xDD shape of sense >_> assumes- 
^.^ Ajax xDD empwoy'd OwO pwucks down ^-^ Achiwwes' ;;w;; pwumes. 
^-^ NyESTOW. >_> Nyow, >_> Uwysses, UwU I x3 begin to wewish >w< thy advice; 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww UwU give :3 a >_> taste thereof ÚwÚ fowthwith 
;;w;; To Agamemnon. Go ^.^ we to ^.^ him stwaight. 
Two x3 cuws UwU shaww >w< tame >_< each >_< othew: >_< pwide awonye 
:3 Must tarre x3 the mastiffs ;;w;; on, >_< as >w< 'twewe uWu theiw ^w^ bonye. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
uWu The Grecian ÚwÚ camp 

Entew ^.^ Ajax ÚwÚ and >w< THEWSITES 

uWu AJAX. Thersites! 
:3 THEWSITES. Agamemnon-how >_> if ^.^ he xDD had UwU boiws >_> fuww, >w< an UwU uvw, >_> genyewawwy? 
uWu AJAX. Thersites! 
:3 THEWSITES. xDD And UwU those UwU boiws uWu did >w< wun-say :3 so. Did nyot x3 the general >w< wun 
^w^ then? ^.^ Wewe nyot :3 that :3 a OwO botchy core? 
uWu AJAX. ;;w;; Dog! 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU Then there ^.^ wouwd come x3 some ;;w;; mattew from him; 
UwU I >_> see >_< nyonye now. 
uWu AJAX. ^.^ Thou bitch-wowf's x3 son, ;;w;; canst xDD thou nyot UwU heaw? ^w^ Feew, UwU then. 
[Strikes >w< him] 
:3 THEWSITES. uWu The pwague of >w< Gweece ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, xDD thou >_< mongwew >_< beef-witted 
^.^ wowd! 
uWu AJAX. ÚwÚ Speak, >w< then, xDD thou xDD whinyid'st >w< weaven, >_< speak. UwU I xDD wiww xDD beat uWu thee 
x3 into ;;w;; handsomenyess. 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU I UwU shaww :33 soonyew waiw uWu thee x3 into wit ÚwÚ and ;;w;; howinyess; >_> but UwU I 
think >w< thy UwU howse xDD wiww :33 soonyew UwU con >w< an >_< owation than xDD thou :3 weawn :3 a 
:3 pwayew ^-^ without uWu book. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst ÚwÚ stwike, ;;w;; canst thou? ^-^ A red ^.^ muwwain 
^.^ o' >w< thy ^w^ jade's ^.^ twicks! 
uWu AJAX. uWu Toadstoow, :3 weawn ;;w;; me x3 the xDD pwocwamation. 
:3 THEWSITES. uWu Dost xDD thou think UwU I uWu have nyo sense, xDD thou strikest ;;w;; me >_< thus? 
uWu AJAX. uWu The pwocwamation! 
:3 THEWSITES. ^.^ Thou awt pwocwaim'd, :3 a x3 foow, UwU I UwU think. 
uWu AJAX. Do >_> nyot, powpentinye, UwU do x3 nyot; x3 my x3 fingews :3 itch. 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou :33 didst itch from >_> head to :33 foot ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD had x3 the 
scratching of ÚwÚ thee; UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< make uWu thee x3 the :33 woathsomest >_> scab uWu in 
Gweece. x3 When xDD thou awt fowth uWu in x3 the incuwsions, xDD thou strikest >_< as 
slow >_< as anyothew. 
uWu AJAX. UwU I say, x3 the xDD pwocwamation. 
:3 THEWSITES. ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ gwumbwest ÚwÚ and waiwest every >_> houw on ÚwÚ Achiwwes; ÚwÚ and 
xDD thou awt >_< as full of :3 envy uWu at :33 his :33 gweatnyess >_< as Cerberus >_> is uWu at 
Proserpina's ^w^ beauty-ay, :3 that xDD thou bark'st uWu at ^.^ him. 
uWu AJAX. Mistress Thersites! 
:3 THEWSITES. ^.^ Thou shouwdst strike ^.^ him. 
uWu AJAX. Cobloaf! 
:3 THEWSITES. >w< He ^.^ wouwd pun uWu thee x3 into uWu shivews with :33 his uWu fist, >_< as :3 a 
>_> saiwow >_< bweaks :3 a ;;w;; biscuit. 
uWu AJAX. >_> You UwU whoweson uWu cuw! [Strikes >w< him] 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU Do, xDD do. 
uWu AJAX. ^.^ Thou :33 stoow fow :3 a :3 witch! 
:3 THEWSITES. Ay, UwU do, do; xDD thou sodden-witted ^.^ wowd! ^.^ Thou x3 hast nyo ^.^ mowe 
:3 bwain than UwU I uWu have uWu in >_< minye elbows; >w< an assinico OwO may ;;w;; tutow thee. >_> You 
^.^ scuwvy uWu vawiant ^w^ ass! ^.^ Thou awt OwO hewe >_> but to ^w^ thwash x3 Twoyans, ÚwÚ and xDD thou 
awt xDD bought ÚwÚ and sold ^-^ among UwU those of xDD any wit ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ bawbawian 
slave. ;;w;; If xDD thou use to xDD beat uWu me, UwU I xDD wiww x3 begin uWu at >w< thy OwO heew ÚwÚ and tell 
>_> what xDD thou awt ^.^ by ^w^ inches, xDD thou ^.^ thing of nyo bowews, ^w^ thou! 
uWu AJAX. >_> You dog! 
:3 THEWSITES. >_> You ^.^ scuwvy ^.^ wowd! 
uWu AJAX. >_> You uWu cuw! [Strikes >w< him] 
:3 THEWSITES. uWu Maws :33 his ^.^ idiot! UwU Do, ÚwÚ wudenyess; UwU do, >_< camew; UwU do, xDD do. 

Entew UwU ACHIWWES ÚwÚ and UwU PATWOCWUS 

ACHIWWES. Why, >w< how now, Ajax! ÚwÚ Whewefowe UwU do xDD you >_< thus? 
How now, Thersites! x3 What's x3 the >w< mattew, man? 
:3 THEWSITES. >_> You >_> see ^.^ him thewe, UwU do you? 
ACHIWWES. Ay; UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
:3 THEWSITES. Nyay, wook ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
ACHIWWES. ^w^ So UwU I xDD do. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
:3 THEWSITES. Nyay, >_> but regard ^.^ him well. 
ACHIWWES. Well! >w< why, UwU so UwU I xDD do. 
:3 THEWSITES. OwO But yet xDD you wook nyot weww ;;w;; upon him; fow who x3 some OwO evew 
xDD you OwO take ^.^ him to be, ^.^ he >_> is UwU Ajax. 
ACHIWWES. UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 that, xDD foow. 
:3 THEWSITES. Ay, >_> but :3 that >w< foow xDD knyows nyot himself. 
uWu AJAX. Therefore UwU I xDD beat thee. 
:3 THEWSITES. Lo, ^.^ wo, ^.^ wo, ^.^ wo, >_> what modicums of wit ^.^ he utters! ÚwÚ His 
evasions uWu have OwO eaws OwO thus wong. UwU I uWu have >w< bobb'd :33 his :3 bwain ^.^ mowe than 
^.^ he >_> has xDD beat x3 my xDD bonyes. UwU I xDD wiww UwU buy >w< nyinye ^.^ spawwows fow :3 a penny, ÚwÚ and 
:33 his >_< pia ;;w;; matew >_> is nyot ^.^ wowth x3 the :3 nyinth ÚwÚ pawt of :3 a OwO spawwow. This 
uWu wowd, ^.^ Achiwwes, ^.^ Ajax-who ^-^ weaws :33 his wit uWu in :33 his bewwy ÚwÚ and :33 his :33 guts 
uWu in :33 his OwO head-I'ww tell xDD you >_> what UwU I >_> say of ^.^ him. 
ACHIWWES. What? 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU I >_> say ÚwÚ this Ajax- [AJAX x3 offews to strike >w< him] 
ACHIWWES. Nyay, ÚwÚ good UwU Ajax. 
:3 THEWSITES. x3 Has nyot UwU so much uWu wit- 
ACHIWWES. Nyay, UwU I ^w^ must howd OwO you. 
:3 THEWSITES. ;;w;; As xDD wiww ÚwÚ stop x3 the ^w^ eye of Helen's nyeedwe, fow ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he 
x3 comes to ^w^ fight. 
ACHIWWES. uWu Peace, xDD foow. 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have uWu peace ÚwÚ and OwO quietnyess, >_> but x3 the >w< foow xDD wiww nyot- 
^.^ he uWu thewe; :3 that he; wook xDD you :33 thewe. 
uWu AJAX. x3 O xDD thou uWu damnyed uWu cuw! UwU I shaww- 
ACHIWWES. Will xDD you uWu set x3 youw wit to :3 a fool's? 
:3 THEWSITES. :3 Nyo, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, x3 the ;;w;; foow's xDD wiww ^-^ shame :3 it. 
PATWOCWUS. ^-^ Good wowds, :3 Thewsites. 
ACHIWWES. x3 What's x3 the OwO quawwew? 
uWu AJAX. UwU I ;;w;; bade x3 the ^-^ viwe owl OwO go :3 weawn ;;w;; me x3 the ;;w;; tenyouw of x3 the 
>_> pwocwamation, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ^-^ waiws ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU I serve uWu thee not. 
uWu AJAX. xDD Weww, OwO go ^.^ to, OwO go ;;w;; to. 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU I serve OwO hewe ^-^ vowuntawy. 
ACHIWWES. uWu Youw >w< wast OwO sewvice UwU was >_< suff'wance; uWu 'twas nyot ^-^ vowuntawy. No 
x3 man >_> is beaten ^-^ vowuntawy. ^.^ Ajax UwU was OwO hewe x3 the vowuntawy, ÚwÚ and xDD you >_< as 
:33 undew >w< an ^.^ impwess. 
:3 THEWSITES. E'en so; :3 a great deal of x3 youw wit ^w^ too wies uWu in x3 youw 
ÚwÚ sinyews, ow >_> ewse there be :3 wiaws. >_> Hectow UwU shaww uWu have :3 a great catch 
>w< an ^.^ he :3 knyock x3 out xDD eithew of x3 youw brains: xDD 'a :3 wewe >_< as ÚwÚ good UwU cwack :3 a 
:3 fusty xDD nyut with nyo >_> kewnyew. 
ACHIWWES. What, with ;;w;; me :3 too, ;;w;; Thewsites? 
:3 THEWSITES. >_> Thewe's Uwysses ÚwÚ and ;;w;; owd ^w^ Nyestow-whose wit UwU was >_< mouwdy ere 
x3 youw grandsires xDD had >_< nyaiws on uWu theiw uWu toes-yoke xDD you ^.^ wike ^w^ dwaught 
oxen, ÚwÚ and >_< make xDD you pwough x3 up x3 the waws. 
ACHIWWES. What, UwU what? 
:3 THEWSITES. Yes, ÚwÚ good sooth. ;;w;; To ^.^ Achiwwes, to >w< Ajax, xDD to- 
uWu AJAX. UwU I UwU shaww :3 cut x3 out x3 youw :33 tongue. 
:3 THEWSITES. 'Tis nyo mattew; UwU I UwU shaww speak >_< as much >_< as xDD thou 
uWu aftewwawds. 
PATWOCWUS. No ^.^ mowe wowds, Thersites; peace! 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU I xDD wiww howd x3 my uWu peace when ^-^ Achiwwes' bwach UwU bids uWu me, UwU shaww 
>_< I? 
ACHIWWES. >_> Thewe's fow UwU you, >w< Patwocwus. 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU I xDD wiww >_> see xDD you :33 hang'd ^.^ wike ^-^ cwotpowes ere UwU I come xDD any ^.^ mowe 
to x3 youw ;;w;; tents. UwU I xDD wiww >_< keep :3 whewe there >_> is wit stirring, ÚwÚ and OwO weave 
x3 the ^w^ faction of ;;w;; foows. uWu Exit 
PATWOCWUS. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good riddance. 
ACHIWWES. OwO Mawwy, uWu this, ^w^ siw, >_> is proclaim'd ^w^ thwough aww UwU ouw >_< host, 
:33 That Hectow, ^.^ by x3 the :3 fifth >_> houw of x3 the sun, 
Will with :3 a ÚwÚ twumpet 'twixt UwU ouw tents ÚwÚ and Troy, 
>_< To-mowwow UwU mownying, caww x3 some knight to :3 awms 
:33 That hath :3 a >w< stomach; ÚwÚ and xDD such :3 a one :3 that dawe 
xDD Maintain UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot :3 what; UwU 'tis xDD twash. uWu Faweweww. 
uWu AJAX. uWu Faweweww. Who UwU shaww answew him? 
ACHIWWES. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; UwU 'tis put to :3 wott'wy. ^-^ Othewwise. >w< He UwU knyew :33 his 
man. 
uWu AJAX. >_< O, meaning you! UwU I xDD wiww OwO go :3 weawn ^.^ mowe of :3 it. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
>_> Twoy. ^.^ PWIAM'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew PWIAM, HECTOR, xDD TWOIWUS, OwO PAWIS, ÚwÚ and HELENUS 

PWIAM. >w< Aftew UwU so UwU many houws, lives, speeches, >_< spent, 
^-^ Thus >_> once again ;;w;; says Nyestow from x3 the :3 Gweeks: 
'Deliver Hewen, ÚwÚ and aww x3 damage OwO ewse- 
;;w;; As honyouw, ^-^ woss of time, >_> twavaiw, UwU expense, 
>_< Wounds, OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and >_> what >_> ewse uWu deaw :3 that >_> is x3 consum'd 
^w^ In :3 hot digestion of ÚwÚ this cormorant ^.^ waw- 
Shall be >w< stwuck >_< off.' Hectow, >_> what >_> say xDD you ÚwÚ to't? 
HECTOW. ;;w;; Though nyo x3 man wessew OwO feaws x3 the Gweeks than I, 
;;w;; As uWu faw >_< as x3 toucheth x3 my UwU pawticuwaw, 
Yet, xDD dwead ^w^ Pwiam, 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo uWu wady of ^.^ mowe softer bowews, 
uWu Mowe >_< spongy to uWu suck uWu in x3 the sense of ;;w;; feaw, 
uWu Mowe ready to cwy x3 out >w< 'Who xDD knyows >_> what ;;w;; fowwows?' 
Than >_> Hectow >w< is. uWu The ;;w;; wound of uWu peace >_> is OwO suwety, 
ÚwÚ Suwety xDD secuwe; >_> but :3 modest doubt >_> is ^w^ caww'd 
uWu The OwO beacon of x3 the >_< wise, x3 the ^w^ tent :3 that seawches 
;;w;; To x3 th' :3 bottom of x3 the x3 wowst. Let :33 Hewen ÚwÚ go. 
Since x3 the xDD fiwst xDD swowd UwU was drawn about ÚwÚ this ^.^ question, 
Evewy >w< tithe :3 souw ^w^ 'mongst UwU many thousand uWu dismes 
>_< Hath :33 been >_< as uWu deaw >_< as Helen-I mean, of >_> ouws. 
;;w;; If ^.^ we uWu have wost UwU so UwU many OwO tenths of ouws 
;;w;; To xDD guawd :3 a ^.^ thing nyot >_> ouws, nor ^.^ wowth to us, 
xDD Had >w< it UwU ouw :33 nyame, x3 the value of one x3 ten, 
>_> What ^w^ mewit's uWu in :3 that reason which denyies 
uWu The yiewding of her uWu up? 
>_> TWOIWUS. OwO Fie, >_< fie, x3 my xDD bwothew! 
OwO Weigh xDD you x3 the ^.^ wowth ÚwÚ and honour of :3 a OwO king, 
^w^ So great >_< as UwU ouw xDD dwead >_> fathew's, uWu in :3 a scale 
Of ^w^ common xDD ounces? Will xDD you with uWu countews >w< sum 
uWu The xDD past-pwopowtion of :33 his infinite, 
xDD And buckwe uWu in :3 a x3 waist UwU most fathomwess 
With ^w^ spans ÚwÚ and :33 inches UwU so >w< diminyutive 
;;w;; As OwO feaws ÚwÚ and reasons? OwO Fie, fow UwU godwy x3 shame! 
^-^ HEWENyUS. No :3 mawvew ^w^ though xDD you ^-^ bite UwU so ^-^ shawp uWu at ^w^ weasons, 
>_> You OwO awe UwU so :33 empty of OwO them. Should nyot UwU ouw >w< fathew 
ÚwÚ Beaw x3 the great xDD sway of :33 his affairs with ^w^ weasons, 
>_< Because x3 youw ÚwÚ speech hath >_< nyonye :3 that uWu tewws ^.^ him so? 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_> You OwO awe fow x3 dweams ÚwÚ and swumbews, ÚwÚ bwothew pwiest; 
>_> You >_< fuw x3 youw ^.^ gwuvs with reason. :3 Hewe OwO awe x3 youw :3 weasons: 
>_> You ^.^ knyow >w< an ;;w;; enyemy ^-^ intends xDD you harm; 
>_> You ^.^ knyow :3 a xDD swowd xDD empwoy'd >_> is ^w^ pewiwous, 
xDD And reason fwies x3 the :33 object of aww harm. 
Who marvels, >w< then, when >w< Hewenyus beholds 
^-^ A Grecian ÚwÚ and :33 his uWu swowd, >_> if ^.^ he UwU do uWu set 
uWu The xDD vewy x3 wings of reason to :33 his heels 
xDD And fwy ^.^ wike :33 chidden :33 Mewcuwy from Juv, 
:33 Ow ^.^ wike :3 a :33 staw ;;w;; disowb'd? Nyay, >_> if ^.^ we tawk of weason, 
:3 Wet's shut UwU ouw :3 gates ÚwÚ and OwO sweep. Manhood ÚwÚ and honour 
Should uWu have UwU hawe hearts, ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they >_> but :33 fat uWu theiw >_< thoughts 
With ÚwÚ this cramm'd reason. ^w^ Weason ÚwÚ and wespect 
^-^ Make livers pawe ÚwÚ and lustihood ;;w;; deject. 
HECTOW. UwU Bwothew, ^.^ she >_> is nyot ^.^ wowth >_> what ^.^ she :3 doth, >_> cost 
uWu The keeping. 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 What's ^.^ aught >_> but >_< as UwU 'tis valued? 
HECTOW. OwO But value dwells nyot uWu in xDD pawticuwaw OwO wiww: 
^.^ It ÚwÚ howds :33 his ÚwÚ estimate ÚwÚ and dignity 
;;w;; As weww wherein UwU 'tis >_< pwecious of itsewf 
;;w;; As uWu in x3 the prizer. 'Tis ^-^ mad idowatwy 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the OwO sewvice :33 gweatew than x3 the >_> god-I 
xDD And x3 the xDD wiww x3 dotes :3 that >_> is attwibutive 
;;w;; To >_> what ;;w;; infectiouswy itsewf :33 affects, 
Without x3 some x3 image of x3 th' affected x3 mewit. 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU I OwO take ^w^ to-day :3 a :3 wife, ÚwÚ and x3 my UwU ewection 
Is x3 wed on uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ conduct of x3 my :33 wiww; 
OwO My xDD wiww :3 enkindwed ^.^ by >_< minye eyes ÚwÚ and ;;w;; eaws, 
Two traded :33 piwots 'twixt x3 the uWu dangewous uWu showes 
Of xDD wiww ÚwÚ and ^-^ judgment: >w< how OwO may UwU I >_> avoid, 
Awthough x3 my xDD wiww ^.^ distaste >_> what >w< it ^.^ ewected, 
uWu The >w< wife UwU I ;;w;; chose? >_> Thewe ^.^ can be nyo >_> evasion 
;;w;; To UwU bwench from ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ and to stand >w< fiwm ^.^ by honyouw. 
We turn nyot back x3 the silks ;;w;; upon x3 the merchant 
x3 When ^.^ we uWu have ^.^ soiw'd OwO them; nor x3 the ^.^ wemaindew viands 
We UwU do nyot ^-^ thwow uWu in ^.^ unwespective :33 sieve, 
>_< Because ^.^ we nyow OwO awe ^w^ fuww. ^.^ It UwU was xDD thought :3 meet 
Paris >_> shouwd UwU do x3 some UwU vengeance on x3 the Greeks; 
uWu Youw UwU bweath with full >_< consent ^w^ benyied :33 his ^w^ saiws; 
uWu The seas ÚwÚ and winds, ;;w;; owd ;;w;; wwangwews, >_> took :3 a truce, 
xDD And uWu did ^.^ him service. >w< He touch'd x3 the ports xDD desiw'd; 
xDD And fow >w< an ;;w;; owd >_< aunt ÚwÚ whom x3 the Gweeks hewd >w< captive 
>w< He ^.^ bwought :3 a Grecian queen, x3 whose :33 youth ÚwÚ and freshness 
OwO Wwinkwes ÚwÚ Apowwo's, ÚwÚ and x3 makes ÚwÚ stawe x3 the xDD mownying. 
Why >_< keep ^.^ we OwO hew? uWu The xDD Gwecians >_< keep UwU ouw ^-^ aunt. 
Is ^.^ she ^.^ wowth >_< keeping? Why, ^.^ she >_> is :3 a uWu peaww 
>_< Whose pwice hath xDD waunch'd :33 abuv :3 a thousand >_> ships, 
xDD And >_> tuwn'd cwown'd >w< kings to :3 mewchants. 
;;w;; If you'ww OwO avouch uWu 'twas ^.^ wisdom Paris :3 went- 
;;w;; As xDD you ^w^ must :33 nyeeds, fow xDD you aww cried >w< 'Go, uWu go'- 
;;w;; If you'ww x3 confess ^.^ he ^.^ bwought ^.^ home ÚwÚ wowthy ^.^ pwize- 
;;w;; As xDD you ^w^ must :33 nyeeds, fow xDD you aww ^-^ cwapp'd x3 youw ^.^ hands, 
xDD And cried :3 'Inyestimabwe!' -why UwU do xDD you nyow 
uWu The x3 issue of x3 youw OwO pwopew wisdoms rate, 
xDD And UwU do :3 a ^.^ deed :3 that >_< nyevew :3 fowtunye OwO did- 
Beggar x3 the estimation which xDD you x3 pwiz'd 
:3 Wichew than sea ÚwÚ and xDD wand? x3 O :3 theft UwU most base, 
:33 That ^.^ we uWu have :3 stow'n >_> what ^.^ we UwU do feaw to ^.^ keep! 
OwO But thieves >_< unwowthy of :3 a ^.^ thing UwU so :3 stow'n 
:33 That uWu in uWu theiw countwy uWu did them :3 that xDD disgwace 
We feaw to :33 wawwant uWu in UwU ouw OwO nyative ÚwÚ pwace! 
^w^ CASSANDWA. :33 [Within] ;;w;; Cwy, x3 Twoyans, ^-^ cwy. 
PWIAM. >_> What noise, >_> what shriek >_> is :3 this? 
>_> TWOIWUS. 'Tis UwU ouw ^-^ mad x3 sistew; UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow her voice. 
^w^ CASSANDWA. :33 [Within] ;;w;; Cwy, >_< Twoyans. 
HECTOW. ^.^ It >_> is ^-^ Cassandwa. 

Entew CASSANDWA, ^.^ waving 

^w^ CASSANDWA. ;;w;; Cwy, x3 Twoyans, ^-^ cwy. uWu Wend ;;w;; me ;;w;; ten thousand ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ fiww them with ÚwÚ pwophetic >w< teaws. 
HECTOW. uWu Peace, ^-^ sistew, peace. 
^w^ CASSANDWA. :33 Viwgins ÚwÚ and boys, :3 mid-age ÚwÚ and wwinkwed eld, 
xDD Soft infancy, :3 that >_< nyothing ;;w;; canst >_> but ^-^ cwy, 
;;w;; Add to x3 my >_> cwamouws. Let >_> us x3 pay betimes 
^-^ A >_> moiety of :3 that :3 mass of >_> moan to x3 come. 
;;w;; Cwy, x3 Twoyans, ^-^ cwy. UwU Pwactise x3 youw eyes with >w< teaws. 
Twoy ^w^ must nyot be, nor xDD goodwy Iwion xDD stand; 
Our ^-^ fiwebwand brother, >_< Pawis, buwns >_> us all. 
;;w;; Cwy, x3 Twoyans, ^-^ cwy, ^-^ A :33 Hewen ÚwÚ and :3 a woe! 
;;w;; Cwy, ^-^ cwy. Twoy buwns, ow >_> ewse wet :33 Hewen ÚwÚ go. uWu Exit 
HECTOW. >_> Nyow, youthfuw ^.^ Twoiwus, UwU do nyot these xDD high stwains 
Of >_> divinyation uWu in UwU ouw :3 sistew ^.^ wowk 
;;w;; Some >_> touches of wemowse, ow >_> is x3 youw :3 bwood 
^w^ So madly :3 hot :3 that nyo uWu discouwse of weason, 
x3 Nyow feaw of :33 bad >w< success uWu in :3 a :33 bad >_< cause, 
UwU Can OwO quawify x3 the >w< same? 
>_> TWOIWUS. Why, ÚwÚ bwothew Hectow, 
We OwO may nyot think x3 the justness of >_< each ;;w;; act 
>w< Such ÚwÚ and nyo othew than event xDD doth >_< fowm uWu it; 
x3 Nyow >_> once ÚwÚ deject x3 the couwage of UwU ouw minds 
>_< Because Cassandra's >_> mad. :3 Hew ^-^ bwain-sick waptuwes 
UwU Cannyot ^.^ distaste x3 the xDD goodnyess of :3 a ^-^ quawwew 
>_< Which hath UwU ouw sevewaw honyouws aww x3 engag'd 
;;w;; To >_< make >w< it gracious. For x3 my >_> pwivate >_> pawt, 
UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^.^ mowe touch'd than aww ^w^ Pwiam's sons; 
xDD And Juv UwU fowbid there >_> shouwd be donye amongst >_> us 
>w< Such ^.^ things >_< as ^w^ might ^-^ offend x3 the weakest UwU spween 
;;w;; To >w< fight fow ÚwÚ and x3 maintain. 
:33 PAWIS. ^-^ Ewse ^w^ might x3 the wowwd convince of levity 
;;w;; As weww x3 my undewtakings >_< as x3 youw counsels; 
OwO But UwU I attest x3 the uWu gods, x3 youw full >_< consent 
Gave x3 wings to x3 my pwopension, ÚwÚ and :3 cut of 
All OwO feaws :33 attending on UwU so xDD diwe :3 a ^w^ pwoject. 
For x3 what, :3 awas, ^.^ can these x3 my :3 singwe >_> awms? 
>_> What >w< pwopugnyation >_> is uWu in one :33 man's valour 
;;w;; To stand x3 the :3 push ÚwÚ and >_< enmity of UwU those 
This ^-^ quawwew ^.^ wouwd >w< excite? Yet, UwU I protest, 
^.^ Wewe UwU I awonye to pass x3 the >_< difficuwties, 
xDD And xDD had >_< as uWu ampwe powew >_< as UwU I uWu have :33 wiww, 
Paris >_> shouwd ^w^ nye'ew ÚwÚ wetwact >_> what ^.^ he hath donye 
x3 Nyow ÚwÚ faint uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ puwsuit. 
PWIAM. >_< Pawis, xDD you speak 
Wike one ;;w;; besotted on x3 youw x3 sweet ;;w;; dewights. 
>_> You uWu have x3 the honey still, >_> but these x3 the gall; 
^w^ So to be uWu vawiant >_> is nyo praise uWu at all. 
:33 PAWIS. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU pwopose nyot mewewy to mysewf 
uWu The >_< pweasuwes xDD such :3 a beauty >_< bwings with uWu it; 
OwO But UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have x3 the UwU soiw of her >w< faiw xDD wape 
UwU Wip'd x3 off uWu in ^.^ honyouwabwe ^w^ keeping her. 
>_> What UwU tweason :3 wewe >w< it to x3 the ^w^ wansack'd queen, 
>w< Disgwace to x3 youw great ^.^ wowths, ÚwÚ and ^-^ shame to uWu me, 
Now to ÚwÚ dewivew her >w< possession x3 up 
On terms of UwU base compuwsion! UwU Can >w< it be 
:33 That UwU so degenerate :3 a ;;w;; stwain >_< as ÚwÚ this 
Should >_> once uWu set footing uWu in x3 youw OwO genyewous bosoms? 
>_> Thewe's nyot x3 the meanyest ^w^ spiwit on UwU ouw party 
Without :3 a >_< heawt to dawe ow xDD swowd to dwaw 
x3 When :33 Hewen >_> is ^.^ defended; nor >_< nyonye UwU so x3 nyobwe 
>_< Whose >w< wife :3 wewe :33 iww ÚwÚ bestow'd ow :33 death unfam'd 
Whewe :33 Hewen >_> is x3 the xDD subject. Then, UwU I say, 
Weww OwO may ^.^ we >w< fight fow her ÚwÚ whom ^.^ we ^.^ knyow weww 
uWu The OwO wowwd's large ^-^ spaces ;;w;; cannyot >_> pawawwew. 
HECTOW. Paris ÚwÚ and ^.^ Twoiwus, xDD you uWu have both uWu said well; 
xDD And on x3 the cause ÚwÚ and ;;w;; question nyow uWu in uWu hand 
:3 Have ^.^ gwoz'd, >_> but supewficiawwy; nyot much 
:33 Unwike xDD young men, ÚwÚ whom >_< Awistode xDD thought 
UwU Unfit to hear :3 mowaw phiwosophy. 
uWu The weasons xDD you awwege UwU do ^.^ mowe conduce 
;;w;; To x3 the :3 hot passion of distemp'wed :3 bwood 
Than to >_< make x3 up :3 a fwee ^-^ detewminyation 
UwU 'Twixt >w< wight ÚwÚ and >_> wwong; fow :3 pweasuwe ÚwÚ and xDD wevenge 
:3 Have OwO eaws ^.^ mowe deaf than :3 addews to x3 the uWu voice 
Of xDD any true decision. ÚwÚ Nyatuwe cwaves 
All dues be ^.^ wend'wed to uWu theiw ^w^ ownyews. >_> Nyow, 
>_> What nyeawew >_> debt uWu in aww humanyity 
Than >w< wife >_> is to x3 the OwO husband? ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this law 
Of ÚwÚ nyatuwe be cowwupted ^w^ thwough ^w^ affection; 
xDD And :3 that great x3 minds, of :33 pawtiaw indulgence 
;;w;; To uWu theiw OwO benyumbed wiwws, :3 wesist x3 the >w< same; 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a law uWu in >_< each x3 weww-owdew'd nation 
;;w;; To ^.^ cuwb UwU those waging >_> appetites :3 that OwO awe 
:3 Most uWu disobedient ÚwÚ and ^-^ wefwactowy. 
;;w;; If Hewen, >w< then, be >w< wife to Spawta's UwU king- 
;;w;; As >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ knyown ^.^ she ^-^ is-these :3 mowaw UwU waws 
Of ÚwÚ nyatuwe ÚwÚ and of >_< nyations speak >_< awoud 
;;w;; To uWu have her back ;;w;; wetuwn'd. ^-^ Thus to UwU pewsist 
^w^ In xDD doing wrong :33 extenyuates nyot wwong, 
OwO But x3 makes >w< it much ^.^ mowe heavy. :33 Hectow's opinyion 
Is uWu this, uWu in uWu way of truth. Yet, ^w^ nye'ew x3 the UwU wess, 
OwO My spwitewy UwU bwethwen, UwU I propend to xDD you 
^w^ In uWu wesowution to >_< keep :33 Hewen stiww; 
For UwU 'tis :3 a cause :3 that hath nyo >_> mean dependence 
>_> Upon UwU ouw UwU joint ÚwÚ and sevewaw ;;w;; dignyities. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Why, there xDD you touch'd x3 the >w< wife of UwU ouw design. 
^.^ Wewe >w< it nyot :3 gwowy :3 that ^.^ we ^.^ mowe affected 
Than x3 the :3 pewfowmance of UwU ouw UwU heaving spleens, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ÚwÚ wish :3 a >_< dwop of ÚwÚ Twoyan :3 bwood 
Spent ^.^ mowe uWu in her OwO defence. But, ÚwÚ wowthy Hectow, 
:33 She >_> is :3 a :33 theme of honour ÚwÚ and OwO wenyown, 
^-^ A ^w^ spuw to uWu vawiant ÚwÚ and :33 magnyanyimous uWu deeds, 
>_< Whose xDD pwesent couwage OwO may xDD beat down UwU ouw ;;w;; foes, 
xDD And fame uWu in time to come >_< canyonyize us; 
For UwU I presume >_< bwave >_> Hectow ^.^ wouwd nyot wose 
^w^ So rich ^w^ advantage of :3 a pwomis'd :3 gwowy 
;;w;; As ^-^ smiwes ;;w;; upon x3 the forehead of ÚwÚ this uWu action 
For x3 the uWu wide OwO wowwd's ^w^ wevenyue. 
HECTOW. UwU I ^w^ am >_< youws, 
>_> You uWu vawiant offspwing of great >_< Pwiamus. 
UwU I uWu have :3 a :33 woisting challenge sent amongst 
uWu The dull ÚwÚ and uWu factious nyobwes of x3 the Gweeks 
Will strike amazement to uWu theiw ^-^ dwowsy spiwits. 
UwU I UwU was advertis'd uWu theiw great general swept, 
Whilst ;;w;; emuwation uWu in x3 the ^.^ awmy OwO cwept. 
>w< This, UwU I pwesume, xDD wiww wake ^.^ him. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
uWu The Grecian :33 camp. ^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ tent of UwU ACHIWWES 

Entew THERSITES, sowus 

:3 THEWSITES. How now, Thersites! What, wost uWu in x3 the wabywinth of >w< thy 
xDD fuwy? Shall x3 the ewephant ^.^ Ajax carry >w< it >_< thus? >w< He ÚwÚ beats uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
waiw uWu at ^.^ him. x3 O ÚwÚ wowthy ^-^ satisfaction! Wouwd >w< it :3 wewe otherwise: :3 that 
UwU I couwd xDD beat :3 him, whiwst ^.^ he UwU waiw'd uWu at me! :3 'Sfoot, I'll :3 weawn to 
x3 conjuwe ÚwÚ and >w< waise devils, >_> but I'll >_> see x3 some x3 issue of x3 my xDD spitefuw 
:33 execwations. UwU Then there's ^.^ Achiwwes, :3 a OwO wawe engineer! ;;w;; If Twoy be 
nyot :33 taken >w< tiww these >w< two undewminye :33 it, x3 the OwO wawws xDD wiww stand >w< tiww 
;;w;; they faww of x3 themsewves. x3 O xDD thou great :33 thundew-dawtew of ^.^ Owympus, 
x3 fowget :3 that xDD thou awt Juv, x3 the x3 king of uWu gods, x3 and, >_< Mewcuwy, wose 
aww x3 the sewpentinye cwaft of >w< thy :33 caduceus, >_> if OwO ye OwO take nyot :3 that 
xDD wittwe xDD wittwe uWu wess-than-wittwe wit from them :3 that ;;w;; they uWu have! 
which short-arm'd ÚwÚ ignyowance itsewf xDD knyows >_> is UwU so abundant scawce, 
>w< it xDD wiww nyot uWu in ciwcumvention ÚwÚ dewivew :3 a fwy from :3 a spidew ^-^ without 
:3 dwawing uWu theiw ;;w;; massy iwons ÚwÚ and >_< cutting x3 the :33 web. >w< Aftew uWu this, x3 the 
UwU vengeance on x3 the whole camp! or, UwU wathew, x3 the OwO Nyeapowitan 
:3 bonye-ache! fow :3 that, UwU methinks, >_> is x3 the UwU cuwse depending on UwU those 
:3 that >w< waw fow :3 a placket. UwU I uWu have uWu said x3 my pwayews; ÚwÚ and ^.^ deviw Envy 
>_> say >_> 'Amen.' >_> What ho! x3 my Lord Achilles! 

Entew UwU PATWOCWUS 

PATWOCWUS. Who's OwO thewe? Thersites! ^-^ Good Thersites, come uWu in ÚwÚ and 
OwO waiw. 
:3 THEWSITES. ;;w;; If UwU I couwd xDD 'a ^-^ wememb'wed :3 a gilt >_< countewfeit, xDD thou 
wouldst nyot uWu have slipp'd x3 out of x3 my contemplation; >_> but >w< it >_> is nyo 
mattew; >w< thysewf ;;w;; upon OwO thysewf! uWu The ^w^ common UwU cuwse of uWu mankind, >w< fowwy 
ÚwÚ and ignorance, be ^.^ thinye uWu in great revenue! uWu Heaven ;;w;; bwess uWu thee from 
:3 a tutor, ÚwÚ and ^w^ discipwinye come nyot nyeaw uWu thee! Let >w< thy :3 bwood be >w< thy 
ÚwÚ diwection >w< tiww >w< thy death. UwU Then >_> if ^.^ she :3 that ways uWu thee x3 out ;;w;; says 
xDD thou awt :3 a >w< faiw :33 cowse, I'll be sworn ÚwÚ and sworn :3 upon't ^.^ she >_< nyevew 
shwouded xDD any >_> but wazaws. ÚwÚ Amen. :3 Whewe's uWu Achiwwes? 
PATWOCWUS. What, awt xDD thou :3 devout? UwU Wast xDD thou uWu in >_< pwayew? 
:3 THEWSITES. Ay, x3 the heavens hear me! 
PATWOCWUS. ÚwÚ Amen. 

Entew UwU ACHIWWES 

ACHIWWES. Who's OwO thewe? 
PATWOCWUS. Thersites, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ACHIWWES. UwU Whewe, whewe? >_< O, whewe? Awt xDD thou come? Why, x3 my ÚwÚ cheese, x3 my 
ÚwÚ digestion, >w< why x3 hast xDD thou nyot OwO sewved >w< thysewf uWu in to x3 my tabwe UwU so 
UwU many OwO meaws? ^.^ Come, UwU what's OwO Agamemnyon? 
:3 THEWSITES. x3 Thy ;;w;; commandew, :33 Achiwwes. UwU Then tell uWu me, :3 Patwocwus, UwU what's 
uWu Achiwwes? 
PATWOCWUS. x3 Thy uWu wowd, :3 Thewsites. UwU Then tell uWu me, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, UwU what's 
;;w;; Thewsites? 
:3 THEWSITES. x3 Thy ^-^ knyowew, >w< Patwocwus. UwU Then tell uWu me, :3 Patwocwus, >_> what awt 
thou? 
PATWOCWUS. ^.^ Thou ^w^ must tell :3 that uWu knyowest. 
ACHIWWES. >_< O, uWu teww, uWu teww, 
:3 THEWSITES. I'll xDD decwinye x3 the whole x3 question. :33 Agamemnyon ;;w;; commands 
ÚwÚ Achiwwes; Achilles >_> is x3 my wowd; UwU I ^w^ am Patwocwus' ^w^ knyowew; ÚwÚ and 
Patwocwus >_> is :3 a xDD foow. 
PATWOCWUS. >_> You rascal! 
:3 THEWSITES. uWu Peace, foow! UwU I uWu have nyot ^-^ donye. 
ACHIWWES. >w< He >_> is :3 a >_< pwiviweg'd man. Proceed, :3 Thewsites. 
:3 THEWSITES. :33 Agamemnyon >_> is :3 a foow; Achilles >_> is :3 a foow; Thewsites >_> is :3 a 
foow; x3 and, >_< as :3 afowesaid, Patwocwus >_> is :3 a xDD foow. 
ACHIWWES. Dewive >_< this; x3 come. 
:3 THEWSITES. :33 Agamemnyon >_> is :3 a >w< foow to offer to ÚwÚ command ÚwÚ Achiwwes; 
Achilles >_> is :3 a >w< foow to be :3 commanded of Agamemnyon; Thewsites >_> is :3 a 
>w< foow to serve xDD such :3 a foow; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this Patwocwus >_> is :3 a >w< foow ;;w;; positive. 
PATWOCWUS. Why ^w^ am UwU I :3 a ^.^ foow? 
:3 THEWSITES. ^-^ Make :3 that ;;w;; demand of x3 the :33 Cweatow. ^.^ It ÚwÚ suffices ;;w;; me xDD thou 
art. Wook UwU you, who x3 comes hewe? 
ACHIWWES. ^.^ Come, :3 Patwocwus, I'll speak with nyobody. :3 Come uWu in with uWu me, 
:3 Thewsites. uWu Exit 
:3 THEWSITES. :3 Hewe >_> is xDD such ^w^ patchewy, xDD such juggling, ÚwÚ and xDD such :33 knyavewy. 
All x3 the :33 awgument >_> is :3 a whore ÚwÚ and :3 a cuckowd-a ÚwÚ good ^-^ quawwew to dwaw 
;;w;; emuwous factions ÚwÚ and bweed to :33 death ^w^ upon. Now x3 the xDD dwy >w< sewpigo on 
x3 the uWu subject, ÚwÚ and >w< waw ÚwÚ and lechery confound :33 aww! uWu Exit 

Entew ^.^ AGAMEMNyON, UWYSSES, uWu NyESTOW, ^-^ DIOMEDES, 
^.^ AJAX, ÚwÚ and CALCHAS 

^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Whewe >_> is uWu Achiwwes? 
PATWOCWUS. OwO Within :33 his ^w^ tent; >_> but UwU iww-dispos'd, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Let >w< it be ÚwÚ knyown to ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ we OwO awe hewe. 
>w< He shent UwU ouw ^.^ messengews; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we uWu way ^.^ by 
Our appewtainyings, ÚwÚ visiting of ^.^ him. 
Let ^.^ him be told so; ^-^ west, ÚwÚ pewchance, ^.^ he think 
We dawe nyot move x3 the ;;w;; question of UwU ouw :33 pwace 
:33 Ow ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what ^.^ we x3 awe. 
PATWOCWUS. UwU I UwU shaww >_> say UwU so to ^.^ him. uWu Exit 
ULYSSES. We saw ^.^ him uWu at x3 the >w< openying of :33 his uWu tent. 
>w< He >_> is nyot ;;w;; sick. 
uWu AJAX. Yes, x3 wion-sick, >w< sick of OwO pwoud ;;w;; heawt. >_> You OwO may caww >w< it 
UwU mewanchowy, >_> if xDD you xDD wiww ^.^ favouw x3 the xDD man; but, ^.^ by x3 my head, UwU 'tis 
pwide. OwO But >w< why, ^.^ why? Let ^.^ him x3 show >_> us :3 a OwO cause. ^-^ A word, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO [Takes AGAMEMNyON aside] 
^-^ NyESTOW. >_> What moves ^.^ Ajax OwO thus to ^w^ bay uWu at him? 
ULYSSES. Achilles hath inveigled :33 his >w< foow from ^.^ him. 
>_> NESTOR.Who, ;;w;; Thewsites? 
ULYSSES. He. 
^-^ NyESTOW. UwU Then xDD wiww ^.^ Ajax ^.^ wack >w< mattew, >_> if ^.^ he uWu have wost :33 his :33 awgument 
ULYSSES. No; xDD you >_> see ^.^ he >_> is :33 his :33 awgument :3 that >_> has :33 his >_> awgument- 
:33 Achiwwes. 
^-^ NyESTOW. All x3 the uWu bettew; uWu theiw x3 fwaction >_> is ^.^ mowe UwU ouw ÚwÚ wish than uWu theiw 
OwO faction. OwO But >w< it UwU was :3 a >w< stwong ^.^ composuwe :3 a >w< foow couwd disunyite! 
ULYSSES. uWu The >_< amity :3 that ^.^ wisdom xDD knyits >_> nyot, >w< fowwy OwO may easily UwU untie. 

^.^ We-entew UwU PATWOCWUS 

:3 Hewe x3 comes >w< Patwocwus. 
^-^ NyESTOW. No Achilles with ^.^ him. 
ULYSSES. uWu The ewephant hath uWu joints, >_> but >_< nyonye fow couwtesy; :33 his UwU wegs 
OwO awe UwU wegs fow necessity, nyot fow flexure. 
PATWOCWUS. Achilles UwU bids ;;w;; me >_> say ^.^ he >_> is much sowwy 
;;w;; If xDD any ^.^ thing ^.^ mowe than x3 youw spowt ÚwÚ and :3 pweasuwe 
Did move x3 youw :33 gweatnyess ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe >w< state 
;;w;; To caww ;;w;; upon him; ^.^ he hopes >w< it >_> is nyo othew 
OwO But fow x3 youw ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and x3 youw digestion ^w^ sake, 
^-^ An >_> aftew-dinnyew's >_< bweath. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. >w< Heaw UwU you, >w< Patwocwus. 
We OwO awe ^w^ too weww >_> acquainted with these uWu answews; 
OwO But :33 his xDD evasion, wing'd OwO thus UwU swift with ^.^ scown, 
UwU Cannyot >w< outfwy UwU ouw appwehensions. 
Much >_> attwibute ^.^ he :33 hath, ÚwÚ and much x3 the reason 
Why ^.^ we ascwibe >w< it to ^.^ him. ÚwÚ Yet aww :33 his viwtues, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< viwtuouswy on :33 his UwU own ÚwÚ pawt uWu behewd, 
Do uWu in UwU ouw eyes x3 begin to wose uWu theiw ÚwÚ gwoss; 
Yea, ^.^ wike >w< faiw ^w^ fwuit uWu in >w< an ^.^ unwhowesome :33 dish, 
^w^ Awe ^.^ wike to uWu wot OwO untasted. Go ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him 
We come to speak with him; ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww nyot x3 sin 
;;w;; If xDD you UwU do >_> say ^.^ we think ^.^ him over-proud 
xDD And under-honest, uWu in ^.^ sewf-assumption :33 gweatew 
Than uWu in x3 the ^-^ nyote of >_> judgment; ÚwÚ and wowthiew than >_< himsewf 
:3 Hewe tend x3 the x3 savage :33 stwangenyess ^.^ he puts ;;w;; on, 
:3 Disguise x3 the >w< howy ÚwÚ stwength of uWu theiw >_> command, 
xDD And ÚwÚ undewwwite uWu in >w< an OwO obsewving uWu kind 
ÚwÚ His humorous predominance; >w< yea, ;;w;; watch 
ÚwÚ His UwU pettish ;;w;; wunyes, :33 his xDD ebbs, :33 his fwows, >_< as >_> if 
uWu The uWu passage ÚwÚ and whole xDD cawwiage of ÚwÚ this uWu action 
Rode on :33 his uWu tide. Go tell ^.^ him uWu this, ÚwÚ and >_< ad 
:33 That >_> if ^.^ he overhold :33 his pwice UwU so much 
^-^ We'ww >_< nyonye of :3 him, >_> but wet :3 him, ^.^ wike >w< an ;;w;; enginye 
ÚwÚ Nyot portable, >_< wie :33 undew ÚwÚ this xDD wepowt: 
Bring uWu action hithew; ÚwÚ this ;;w;; cannyot OwO go to waw. 
^-^ A stirring uWu dwawf ^.^ we UwU do :3 awwowance UwU give 
^.^ Befowe :3 a x3 sweeping ^.^ giant. Teww ^.^ him :3 so. 
PATWOCWUS. UwU I UwU shaww, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing :33 his answew presently. uWu Exit 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. ^w^ In second uWu voice we'll nyot be >_< satisfied; 
We come to speak with ^.^ him. >_> Uwysses, enter OwO you. 
uWu Exit ULYSSES 
uWu AJAX. >_> What >_> is ^.^ he ^.^ mowe than anyothew? 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. No ^.^ mowe than >_> what ^.^ he ^w^ thinks ^.^ he >w< is. 
uWu AJAX. Is ^.^ he UwU so much? Do xDD you nyot think ^.^ he ^w^ thinks >_< himsewf :3 a xDD bettew 
x3 man than UwU I :33 am? 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. No x3 question. 
uWu AJAX. Will xDD you uWu subscwibe :33 his xDD thought ÚwÚ and >_> say ^.^ he :33 is? 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. :3 Nyo, x3 nyobwe ;;w;; Ajax; xDD you OwO awe >_< as :33 stwong, >_< as valiant, >_< as >_< wise, 
nyo less noble, much ^.^ mowe gentwe, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; awtogethew ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ twactabwe. 
uWu AJAX. Why >_> shouwd :3 a x3 man be ÚwÚ pwoud? How xDD doth >_< pwide grow? UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot 
>_> what >_< pwide >w< is. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. uWu Youw ^-^ mind >_> is x3 the clearer, >w< Ajax, ÚwÚ and x3 youw uWu viwtues x3 the 
>w< faiwew. >w< He :3 that >_> is OwO pwoud ^w^ eats x3 up himself. Pride >_> is :33 his UwU own gwass, 
:33 his UwU own trumpet, :33 his UwU own chronicle; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ whatevew pwaises itsewf 
>_> but uWu in x3 the ^.^ deed ÚwÚ devouws x3 the ^.^ deed uWu in x3 the ;;w;; pwaise. 

^.^ We-entew ULYSSES 

uWu AJAX. UwU I UwU do ^-^ hate :3 a OwO pwoud x3 man >_< as UwU I UwU do ^-^ hate x3 the engend'wing of :3 toads. 
^-^ NyESTOW. :3 [Aside] xDD And yet ^.^ he loves >_> himsewf: :3 is't nyot >w< stwange? 
ULYSSES. Achilles xDD wiww nyot to x3 the field ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. x3 What's :33 his OwO excuse? 
ULYSSES. >w< He xDD doth >_< wewy on x3 nyonye; 
OwO But xDD cawwies on x3 the stweam of :33 his ^-^ dispose, 
Without observance ow wespect of uWu any, 
^w^ In xDD wiww peculiar ÚwÚ and uWu in >_< sewf-admission. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Why xDD wiww ^.^ he >_> nyot, ;;w;; upon UwU ouw >w< faiw ÚwÚ wequest, 
uWu Untent :33 his ÚwÚ pewson ÚwÚ and share x3 the ^w^ aiw with us? 
ULYSSES. ^w^ Things UwU smaww >_< as uWu nyothing, fow >_> wequest's ÚwÚ sake >_> onwy, 
>w< He x3 makes important; >_< possess'd ^.^ he >_> is with greatness, 
xDD And xDD speaks nyot to >_< himsewf >_> but with :3 a >_< pwide 
:33 That quarrels uWu at ^w^ sewf-bweath. :33 Imagin'd ^.^ wowth 
Howds uWu in :33 his :3 bwood xDD such xDD swow'n ÚwÚ and :3 hot uWu discouwse 
:33 That 'twixt :33 his mental ÚwÚ and :33 his OwO active parts 
>_> Kingdom'd Achilles uWu in x3 commotion ^w^ wages, 
xDD And battews down himself. >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I ^.^ say? 
>w< He >_> is UwU so >_< pwaguy OwO pwoud :3 that x3 the :33 death UwU tokens of >w< it 
Cwy x3 'Nyo xDD wecuvwy.' 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Let ^.^ Ajax OwO go to ^.^ him. 
>_< Deaw uWu wowd, OwO go xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 gweet ^.^ him uWu in :33 his uWu tent. 
'Tis uWu said ^.^ he ÚwÚ howds xDD you well; ÚwÚ and xDD wiww be x3 wed 
At x3 youw request :3 a xDD wittwe from himself. 
ULYSSES. x3 O xDD Agamemnyon, wet >w< it nyot be so! 
^-^ We'ww consecrate x3 the steps :3 that ^.^ Ajax x3 makes 
x3 When ;;w;; they OwO go from :33 Achiwwes. Shall x3 the OwO pwoud ;;w;; wowd 
:33 That >_< bastes :33 his uWu awwogance with :33 his UwU own uWu seam 
xDD And >_< nyevew suffers ;;w;; mattew of x3 the wowwd 
Entew :33 his thoughts, :3 save xDD such >_< as xDD doth uWu wevowve 
xDD And >_< wuminyate himsewf-shaww ^.^ he be wowshipp'd 
Of :3 that ^.^ we howd >w< an idol ^.^ mowe than uWu he? 
:3 Nyo, ÚwÚ this thwice-wowthy ÚwÚ and >w< wight uWu vawiant ;;w;; wowd 
Shall nyot UwU so ÚwÚ stawe :33 his pawm, ;;w;; nyobwy ^.^ acquiw'd, 
Nor, ^.^ by x3 my :33 wiww, assubjugate :33 his uWu mewit, 
;;w;; As OwO ampwy ^-^ titwed >_< as Achilles ;;w;; is, 
^-^ By x3 going to :33 Achiwwes. 
:33 That :3 wewe to OwO enwawd :33 his fat-awweady pride, 
xDD And >_< add ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ coaws to Cancew when ^.^ he buwns 
With >w< entewtainying great Hyperion. 
This ;;w;; wowd OwO go to x3 him! Jupiter OwO fowbid, 
xDD And >_> say uWu in >_> thundew ^-^ 'Achiwwes OwO go to >_< him.' 
^-^ NyESTOW. :3 [Aside] >_< O, ÚwÚ this >_> is OwO weww! >w< He :33 wubs x3 the ;;w;; vein of ^.^ him. 
xDD DIOMEDES. :3 [Aside] xDD And >w< how :33 his :3 siwence dwinks x3 up ÚwÚ this applause! 
uWu AJAX. ;;w;; If UwU I OwO go to :3 him, with x3 my :3 awmed >_< fist I'll pash ^.^ him ^-^ o'ew x3 the 
;;w;; face. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. >_< O, no, xDD you UwU shaww nyot ÚwÚ go. 
uWu AJAX. ^-^ An xDD 'a be OwO pwoud with ;;w;; me I'll uWu pheeze :33 his pwide. 
Let ;;w;; me OwO go to ^.^ him. 
ULYSSES. ÚwÚ Nyot fow x3 the ^.^ wowth :3 that uWu hangs ;;w;; upon UwU ouw ÚwÚ quawwew. 
uWu AJAX. ^-^ A x3 pawtwy, UwU insowent xDD fewwow! 
^-^ NyESTOW. :3 [Aside] How ^.^ he describes >_< himsewf! 
uWu AJAX. UwU Can ^.^ he nyot be ;;w;; sociabwe? 
ULYSSES. :3 [Aside] uWu The >_> waven ^-^ chides blackness. 
uWu AJAX. I'll wet :33 his humours blood. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. :3 [Aside] >w< He xDD wiww be x3 the ^.^ physician :3 that >_> shouwd be x3 the 
uWu patient. 
uWu AJAX. ^-^ An aww ;;w;; men :3 wewe :3 a x3 my uWu mind- 
ULYSSES. :3 [Aside] Wit ^.^ wouwd be x3 out of fashion. 
uWu AJAX. >_> 'A >_> shouwd nyot UwU beaw >w< it >_> so, xDD 'a >_> shouwd ^-^ eat's wowds fiwst. 
Shall >_< pwide carry :33 it? 
^-^ NyESTOW. :3 [Aside] ^-^ An uWu 'twouwd, you'd carry :33 hawf. 
ULYSSES. :3 [Aside] >_> 'A ^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; ten :3 shawes. 
uWu AJAX. UwU I xDD wiww :33 knyead :3 him, I'll >_< make ^.^ him >_< suppwe. 
^-^ NyESTOW. :3 [Aside] He's nyot yet ^w^ thwough OwO wawm. >w< Fowce ^.^ him with UwU pwaises; 
pouw x3 in, pouw UwU in; :33 his ^-^ ambition >_> is >_< dwy. 
ULYSSES. :33 [To ^.^ AGAMEMNyON] OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you >w< feed ^w^ too much on ÚwÚ this dislike. 
^-^ NyESTOW. Our x3 nyobwe general, UwU do nyot UwU do :3 so. 
xDD DIOMEDES. >_> You ^w^ must >_> pwepawe to >w< fight ^-^ without :33 Achiwwes. 
ULYSSES. Why UwU 'tis ÚwÚ this OwO nyaming of ^.^ him does ^.^ him harm. 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a man-but UwU 'tis >w< befowe :33 his face; 
UwU I xDD wiww be ^-^ siwent. 
^-^ NyESTOW. ÚwÚ Whewefowe >_> shouwd xDD you so? 
>w< He >_> is nyot emulous, >_< as Achilles >w< is. 
ULYSSES. xDD Knyow x3 the whole ^w^ wowwd, ^.^ he >_> is >_< as ^w^ vawiant. 
uWu AJAX. ^-^ A UwU whoweson dog, :3 that UwU shaww xDD pawtew with >_> us UwU thus! 
Wouwd ^.^ he :3 wewe :3 a ^-^ Twoyan! 
^-^ NyESTOW. >_> What :3 a :33 vice :3 wewe >w< it uWu in ^.^ Ajax x3 nyow- 
ULYSSES. ;;w;; If ^.^ he :3 wewe :3 pwoud. 
xDD DIOMEDES. :33 Ow covetous of ;;w;; pwaise. 
ULYSSES. Ay, ow uWu suwwy >w< bownye. 
xDD DIOMEDES. :33 Ow >_> stwange, ow sewf-affected. 
ULYSSES. ^-^ Thank x3 the >w< heavens, uWu wowd, xDD thou awt of x3 sweet ^.^ composuwe 
Praise ^.^ him :3 that gat ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ she :3 that uWu gave uWu thee ^w^ suck; 
^-^ Fam'd be >w< thy tutor, ÚwÚ and >w< thy parts of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
Thwice-fam'd :3 beyond, ^w^ beyond aww ewudition; 
OwO But ^.^ he :3 that discipwin'd ^.^ thinye :3 awms to ^-^ fight- 
Let uWu Maws OwO divide etewnyity uWu in twain 
xDD And UwU give ^.^ him ÚwÚ hawf; x3 and, fow >w< thy OwO vigouw, 
Bull-bearing ;;w;; Miwo :33 his >w< addition yield 
;;w;; To sinyewy UwU Ajax. UwU I xDD wiww nyot praise >w< thy wisdom, 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike :3 a bouwn, :3 a pawe, :3 a >w< showe, confines 
x3 Thy ÚwÚ spacious ÚwÚ and ^w^ diwated pawts. >_> Hewe's Nyestow, 
Instructed ^.^ by x3 the :3 antiquawy :3 times- 
>w< He ;;w;; must, ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot >_> but be OwO wise; 
OwO But pardon, >w< fathew Nyestow, :3 wewe x3 youw OwO days 
;;w;; As green >_< as >_< Ajax' ÚwÚ and x3 youw :3 bwain UwU so ÚwÚ tempew'd, 
>_> You >_> shouwd nyot uWu have x3 the eminence of :3 him, 
OwO But be >_< as UwU Ajax. 
uWu AJAX. Shall UwU I caww xDD you father? 
^-^ NyESTOW. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO son. 
xDD DIOMEDES. ^w^ Be wuw'd ^.^ by :3 him, Lord UwU Ajax. 
ULYSSES. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo >_< tawwying ^.^ hewe; x3 the UwU hawt Achilles 
^-^ Keeps ;;w;; thicket. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it UwU ouw great general 
;;w;; To caww togethew aww :33 his >w< state of UwU waw; 
>w< Fwesh >w< kings OwO awe come to >_> Twoy. >_< To-mowwow 
We ^w^ must with aww UwU ouw :33 main of powew stand x3 fast; 
xDD And hewe's :3 a lord-come :3 knyights from uWu east to xDD west 
xDD And ÚwÚ cuww uWu theiw x3 fwowew, ^.^ Ajax UwU shaww cope x3 the >_> best. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Go ^.^ we to counciw. Let Achilles OwO sweep. 
Light ^w^ boats saiw swift, ^w^ though :33 gweatew :33 huwks dwaw deep. 
Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
>_> Twoy. ^.^ PWIAM'S ^w^ pawace 

Music sounds x3 within. Entew uWu PANDAWUS ÚwÚ and :3 a SEWVANT 

PANDARUS. Fwiend, you-pway UwU you, :3 a OwO wowd. Do xDD you nyot ;;w;; fowwow x3 the xDD young 
Lord uWu Pawis? 
SEWVANT. Ay, ^w^ siw, when ^.^ he xDD goes >w< befowe x3 me. 
PANDARUS. >_> You :3 depend ;;w;; upon :3 him, UwU I ^.^ mean? 
SEWVANT. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU do :3 depend ;;w;; upon x3 the OwO wowd. 
PANDARUS. >_> You :3 depend ;;w;; upon :3 a OwO nyotabwe gentleman; UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds praise 
^.^ him. 
SEWVANT. uWu The ;;w;; wowd be OwO pwaised! 
PANDARUS. >_> You ^.^ knyow uWu me, UwU do xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
SEWVANT. Faith, ^w^ siw, :3 supewficiawwy. 
PANDARUS. Fwiend, ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me ;;w;; bettew: UwU I ^w^ am x3 the Lord Pandarus. 
SEWVANT. UwU I UwU hope UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ knyow x3 youw honour ^-^ bettew. 
PANDARUS. UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe :3 it. 
SEWVANT. >_> You OwO awe uWu in x3 the >w< state of grace. 
PANDARUS. Grace! ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, fwiend; honour ÚwÚ and OwO wowdship OwO awe x3 my titwes. 
>_> What uWu music >_> is :3 this? 
SEWVANT. UwU I UwU do >_> but ;;w;; pawtwy knyow, siw; >w< it >_> is uWu music uWu in pawts. 
PANDARUS. xDD Knyow xDD you x3 the :3 musicians? 
SEWVANT. >_> Whowwy, sir. 
PANDARUS. Who :33 pway ;;w;; they to? 
SEWVANT. ;;w;; To x3 the >_> heawews, sir. 
PANDARUS. At x3 whose x3 pweasuwe, >w< fwiend? 
SEWVANT. At >_> minye, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and theirs :3 that wuv >_> music. 
PANDARUS. :3 Command, UwU I mean, :3 fwiend. 
SEWVANT. Who UwU shaww UwU I >_> command, UwU siw? 
PANDARUS. Fwiend, ^.^ we understand nyot one x3 anyothew: UwU I ^w^ am to couwtwy, 
ÚwÚ and xDD thou awt ^w^ too ;;w;; cunnying. At x3 whose request UwU do these ;;w;; men pway? 
SEWVANT. >w< That's >_> to't, :33 indeed, sir. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, uWu at x3 the request of 
Paris x3 my uWu wowd, who >_> is there uWu in ÚwÚ pewson; with ^.^ him x3 the >w< mowtaw ^w^ Venyus, 
x3 the ^w^ heawt-bwood of >w< beauty, love's invisible ;;w;; souw- 
PANDARUS. UwU Who, x3 my OwO cousin, :33 Cwessida? 
SEWVANT. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, >_< Hewen. Could nyot xDD you find x3 out :3 that ^.^ by her 
attributes? 
PANDARUS. ^.^ It >_> shouwd ;;w;; seem, fewwow, :3 that xDD thou x3 hast nyot :3 seen x3 the xDD Wady 
ÚwÚ Cwessida. UwU I come to speak with Paris from x3 the Prince Troilus; UwU I 
xDD wiww >_< make :3 a uWu compwimentaw OwO assauwt ;;w;; upon :3 him, fow x3 my business 
:33 seethes. 
SEWVANT. :33 Sodden businyess! >_> Thewe's :3 a UwU stew'd phrase ^w^ indeed! 

Entew >w< PAWIS ÚwÚ and x3 HEWEN, ^w^ attended 

PANDARUS. Faiw be to UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and to aww ÚwÚ this >w< faiw ;;w;; company! 
Faiw desires, uWu in aww >w< faiw uWu measuwe, ^.^ faiwwy ^w^ guide OwO them- especially 
to UwU you, >w< faiw ^.^ queen! Faiw >_< thoughts be x3 youw >w< faiw ÚwÚ piwwow. 
HELEN. >_< Deaw uWu wowd, xDD you OwO awe full of >w< faiw ÚwÚ wowds. 
PANDARUS. >_> You speak x3 youw >w< faiw x3 pweasuwe, x3 sweet >w< queen. Faiw >_< pwince, 
OwO hewe >_> is ÚwÚ good xDD bwoken >_> music. 
:33 PAWIS. >_> You uWu have broke :33 it, :3 cousin; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 my :3 wife, xDD you UwU shaww >_< make >w< it 
whole again; xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ piece >w< it x3 out with :3 a ^.^ piece of x3 youw 
performance. 
HELEN. >w< He >_> is full of >w< hawmony. 
PANDARUS. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU wady, >w< nyo. 
HELEN. >_< O, >_< siw- 
PANDARUS. ^.^ Wude, uWu in sooth; uWu in ÚwÚ good sooth, xDD vewy UwU wude. 
:33 PAWIS. Weww said, x3 my OwO wowd. xDD Weww, xDD you >_> say UwU so uWu in :33 fits. 
PANDARUS. UwU I uWu have business to x3 my uWu wowd, uWu deaw >w< queen. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD wiww xDD you 
x3 vouchsafe ;;w;; me :3 a word? 
HELEN. Nyay, ÚwÚ this UwU shaww nyot ^-^ hedge >_> us OwO out. ^-^ We'ww hear xDD you ^w^ sing, 
certainly- 
PANDARUS. Weww x3 sweet queen, xDD you OwO awe >_> pweasant with x3 me. But, marry, 
thus, x3 my wowd: x3 my uWu deaw ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and UwU most esteemed fwiend, x3 youw 
ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ Twoiwus- 
HELEN. OwO My Lord Pandarus, >_> honyey-sweet wowd- 
PANDARUS. Go ^.^ to, x3 sweet queen, OwO go UwU to-commends >_< himsewf UwU most 
;;w;; affectionyatewy to :3 you- 
HELEN. >_> You UwU shaww nyot bob >_> us x3 out of UwU ouw ÚwÚ mewody. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU do, UwU ouw 
^-^ mewanchowy ;;w;; upon x3 youw ÚwÚ head! 
PANDARUS. ÚwÚ Sweet queen, x3 sweet queen; ^w^ that's :3 a x3 sweet queen, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
HELEN. xDD And to >_< make :3 a x3 sweet uWu wady >_> sad >_> is :3 a :3 souw OwO offence. 
PANDARUS. Nyay, :3 that UwU shaww nyot serve x3 youw >_< tuwn; :3 that UwU shaww >w< it >_> nyot, 
uWu in truth, :3 wa. Nyay, UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow xDD such words; no, >w< nyo. >_> -And, x3 my 
uWu wowd, ^.^ he desiwes xDD you :3 that, >_> if x3 the ^w^ King caww fow ^.^ him uWu at :3 suppew, 
xDD you xDD wiww >_< make :33 his uWu excuse. 
HELEN. OwO My Lord Pandawus! 
PANDARUS. >_> What ;;w;; says x3 my x3 sweet queen, x3 my xDD vewy xDD vewy x3 sweet xDD queen? 
:33 PAWIS. >_> What expwoit's uWu in hand? Whewe UwU sups ^.^ he :3 to-nyight? 
HELEN. Nyay, but, x3 my wowd- 
PANDARUS. >_> What ;;w;; says x3 my x3 sweet queen?-My xDD cousin xDD wiww faww x3 out with 
OwO you. 
HELEN. >_> You ^w^ must nyot ^.^ knyow :3 whewe ^.^ he sups. 
:33 PAWIS. I'll uWu way x3 my :3 wife, with x3 my UwU disposew ÚwÚ Cwessida. 
PANDARUS. :3 Nyo, no, nyo xDD such mattew; xDD you OwO awe ÚwÚ wide. ^.^ Come, x3 youw UwU disposew 
>_> is ;;w;; sick. 
:33 PAWIS. xDD Weww, I'll OwO make's uWu excuse. 
PANDARUS. Ay, ÚwÚ good x3 my OwO wowd. Why >_> shouwd xDD you >_> say :33 Cwessida? 
:3 Nyo, x3 youw poor disposew's ;;w;; sick. 
:33 PAWIS. UwU I ^-^ spy. 
PANDARUS. >_> You ^-^ spy! >_> What UwU do xDD you spy?-Come, UwU give ;;w;; me >w< an x3 instwument. 
>_> Nyow, x3 sweet >w< queen. 
HELEN. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is ^-^ kindwy ^-^ donye. 
PANDARUS. OwO My uWu nyiece >_> is >w< howwibwy uWu in wuv with :3 a ^.^ thing xDD you have, x3 sweet 
>w< queen. 
HELEN. :33 She UwU shaww uWu have :33 it, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> if >w< it be nyot x3 my Lord Paris. 
PANDARUS. >w< He! :3 Nyo, ^.^ she'ww >_< nyonye of him; ;;w;; they >w< two OwO awe >_< twain. 
HELEN. Fawwing x3 in, ÚwÚ aftew falling ^.^ out, OwO may >_< make them thwee. 
PANDARUS. ^.^ Come, x3 come. I'll hear nyo ^.^ mowe of >_< this; I'll ^.^ sing xDD you :3 a 
ÚwÚ song now. 
HELEN. Ay, :33 ay, :33 pwithee now. ^-^ By x3 my troth, x3 sweet uWu wowd, xDD thou x3 hast :3 a 
OwO finye forehead. 
PANDARUS. Ay, xDD you may, xDD you may. 
HELEN. Let >w< thy ÚwÚ song be love. This wuv xDD wiww undo >_> us all. x3 O Cupid, 
Cupid, ^-^ Cupid! 
PANDARUS. :33 Wuv! Ay, :3 that >w< it UwU shaww, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
:33 PAWIS. Ay, ÚwÚ good now, xDD wuv, xDD wuv, >_< nyothing >_> but love. 
PANDARUS. ^w^ In ÚwÚ good troth, >w< it ÚwÚ begins :3 so. OwO [Sings] 

Wuv, xDD wuv, >_< nyothing >_> but xDD wuv, still xDD wuv, still uWu mowe! 
For, oh, love's bow 
:3 Shoots buck ÚwÚ and UwU doe; 
uWu The >w< shaft ;;w;; confounds 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 that >w< it ;;w;; wounds, 
OwO But >w< tickwes still x3 the sore. 
;;w;; These ^w^ wuvws ^-^ cwy, x3 O :3 ho, ;;w;; they ^-^ die! 
ÚwÚ Yet :3 that which ;;w;; seems x3 the ;;w;; wound to OwO kiww 
^-^ Doth turn x3 O ho! to :33 ha! :33 ha! OwO he! 
^w^ So dying wuv ;;w;; wives xDD stiww. 
x3 O ho! :3 a while, >_> but :33 ha! :33 ha! :33 ha! 
x3 O ho! groans x3 out fow :33 ha! :33 ha! OwO ha!-hey ho! 

HELEN. ^w^ In xDD wuv, :33 i' ^w^ faith, to x3 the xDD vewy ^.^ tip of x3 the nyose. 
:33 PAWIS. >w< He ^w^ eats >_< nyothing >_> but x3 duvs, love; ÚwÚ and :3 that breeds :3 hot bwood, 
ÚwÚ and :3 hot :3 bwood begets :3 hot thoughts, ÚwÚ and :3 hot >_< thoughts x3 beget :3 hot 
uWu deeds, ÚwÚ and :3 hot >_< deeds >_> is love. 
PANDARUS. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the OwO genyewation of love: :3 hot bwood, :3 hot thoughts, 
ÚwÚ and :3 hot >_> deeds? Why, ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 vipews. Is wuv :3 a OwO genyewation of 
^.^ vipews? ÚwÚ Sweet uWu wowd, OwO who's a-field today? 
:33 PAWIS. Hectow, ;;w;; Deiphobus, OwO Hewenyus, Antenyow, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the xDD gawwantwy 
of >_> Twoy. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain uWu have awm'd uWu to-day, >_> but x3 my ;;w;; Nyeww ^.^ wouwd nyot 
uWu have >w< it :3 so. How chance x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew Twoiwus OwO went ^w^ nyot? 
HELEN. >w< He uWu hangs x3 the >_< wip uWu at OwO something. >_> You ^.^ knyow all, Lord Pandarus. 
PANDARUS. ÚwÚ Nyot I, >_> honyey-sweet >w< queen. UwU I ^-^ wong to hear >w< how ;;w;; they spend 
^w^ to-day. You'll remember x3 youw brother's OwO excuse? 
:33 PAWIS. ;;w;; To :3 a >w< haiw. 
PANDARUS. UwU Faweweww, x3 sweet >w< queen. 
HELEN. >_< Commend ;;w;; me to x3 youw niece. 
PANDARUS. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 sweet >w< queen. ÚwÚ Exit. Sound :3 a ;;w;; wetweat 
:33 PAWIS. They'we come from x3 the >_> fiewd. Let >_> us to ^w^ Pwiam's ^-^ haww 
;;w;; To x3 gweet x3 the warriors. ÚwÚ Sweet Hewen, UwU I ^w^ must ^.^ woo xDD you 
;;w;; To OwO hewp :33 unyawm UwU ouw ^-^ Hectow. ÚwÚ His ^-^ stubbown buckwes, 
With these x3 youw ^-^ white ;;w;; enchanting x3 fingews ^-^ touch'd, 
Shall ^.^ mowe UwU obey than to x3 the UwU edge of steew 
:33 Ow force of Gweekish xDD sinyews; xDD you UwU shaww UwU do ^.^ mowe 
Than aww x3 the >_< iswand kings-disawm great ^-^ Hectow. 
HELEN. 'Twiww >_< make >_> us OwO pwoud to be :33 his uWu sewvant, OwO Pawis; 
Yea, >_> what ^.^ he UwU shaww receive of >_> us uWu in >_> duty 
>w< Gives >_> us ^.^ mowe ^.^ pawm uWu in beauty than ^.^ we have, 
Yea, overshines ourself. 
:33 PAWIS. OwO Sweet, :33 abuv xDD thought UwU I wuv thee. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
>_> Twoy. PANDAWUS' orchard 

Entew uWu PANDAWUS ÚwÚ and TWOIWUS' :3 BOY, meeting 

PANDARUS. How >_< nyow! :3 Whewe's >w< thy ÚwÚ mastew? At x3 my xDD cousin uWu Cwessida's? 
BOY. :3 Nyo, siw; ^.^ he uWu stays fow xDD you to ÚwÚ conduct ^.^ him xDD thithew. 

Entew ÚwÚ TWOIWUS 

PANDARUS. >_< O, OwO hewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. How now, >w< how >_< nyow! 
>_> TWOIWUS. Siwwah, UwU wawk off. uWu Exit uWu Boy 
PANDARUS. :3 Have xDD you :3 seen x3 my cousin? 
>_> TWOIWUS. :3 Nyo, Pandarus. UwU I x3 stawk about her doow 
Wike :3 a ;;w;; stwange :3 souw ;;w;; upon x3 the Stygian uWu banks 
>_< Staying fow >_< waftage. >_< O, be xDD thou x3 my Chawon, 
xDD And UwU give ;;w;; me UwU swift ^-^ twanspowtance to these fields 
Whewe UwU I OwO may x3 wawwow uWu in x3 the ;;w;; wiwy beds 
xDD Pwopos'd fow x3 the ;;w;; desewvew! x3 O ^-^ gentwe Pandar, 
Fwom uWu Cupid's shoulder pluck :33 his painted wings, 
xDD And fwy with ;;w;; me to Cressid! 
PANDARUS. >_< Wawk OwO hewe :33 i' x3 th' >_> owchawd, I'll ;;w;; bwing her stwaight. 
uWu Exit 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU I ^w^ am giddy; expectation whirls ;;w;; me wound. 
xDD Th' imaginary wewish >_> is UwU so x3 sweet 
:33 That >w< it >_> enchants x3 my sense; >_> what xDD wiww >w< it be 
x3 When :3 that x3 the ^.^ wat'wy palate :33 tastes ÚwÚ indeed 
>w< Wuv's thwice-wepuwed xDD nyectaw? Death, UwU I feaw OwO me; 
x3 Swoonying destwuction; ow x3 some joy ^w^ too uWu finye, 
Too >w< subtwe-potent, ÚwÚ tun'd ^w^ too ^-^ shawp uWu in sweetness, 
For x3 the ;;w;; capacity of x3 my ruder xDD powews. 
UwU I feaw >w< it >_> much; ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU do feaw ;;w;; besides 
:33 That UwU I UwU shaww wose distinction uWu in x3 my :33 joys; 
;;w;; As xDD doth :3 a battwe, when ;;w;; they :3 chawge on OwO heaps 
uWu The ;;w;; enyemy flying. 

^.^ We-entew uWu PANDAWUS 

PANDARUS. >_> She's x3 making her :3 weady, ^.^ she'ww come >_< stwaight; xDD you ^w^ must be 
^.^ witty now. :33 She does UwU so blush, ÚwÚ and ^-^ fetches her wind UwU so ^.^ showt, >_< as 
>_> if ^.^ she :3 wewe fray'd with :3 a :33 spwite. I'll :3 fetch her. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the 
pwettiest villain; ^.^ she ^-^ fetches her UwU bweath >_< as showt >_< as :3 a ^.^ nyew-ta'en 
OwO spawwow. uWu Exit 
>_> TWOIWUS. Even xDD such :3 a passion xDD doth >_< embwace x3 my ÚwÚ bosom. 
OwO My >_< heawt ÚwÚ beats ^w^ thickew than :3 a feverous puwse, 
xDD And aww x3 my ÚwÚ powews UwU do uWu theiw ^-^ bestowing OwO wose, 
Wike xDD vassawage uWu at unyawawes encount'wing 
uWu The ^w^ eye of :33 majesty. 

^.^ We-entew uWu PANDAWUS With :3 CWESSIDA 

PANDARUS. ^.^ Come, come, >_> what >_< nyeed xDD you bwush? ;;w;; Shame's :3 a ^w^ baby.-Hewe ^.^ she 
>_> is >_< nyow; >_< sweaw x3 the >w< oaths nyow to her :3 that xDD you uWu have sworn to OwO me.- 
What, OwO awe xDD you >_> gonye ^w^ again? >_> You ^w^ must be UwU watch'd ere xDD you be UwU made 
tame, ^w^ must you? :3 Come x3 youw >w< ways, come x3 youw x3 ways; >w< an xDD you dwaw 
backward, we'll put xDD you :33 i' x3 th' xDD fiwws.-Why UwU do xDD you nyot speak to 
her?-Come, dwaw ÚwÚ this ^-^ cuwtain ÚwÚ and >_> wet's >_> see x3 youw x3 pictuwe. 
Awas x3 the ^-^ day, >w< how loath xDD you OwO awe to ^-^ offend daywight! ^-^ An >w< 'twewe 
>_> dawk, you'd ^-^ cwose soonyew. So, so; :3 wub ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and :3 kiss x3 the mistwess 
How now, :3 a :3 kiss uWu in fee-fawm! Buiwd thewe, carpenter; x3 the ^w^ aiw >_> is 
sweet. Nyay, xDD you UwU shaww >w< fight x3 youw heawts x3 out ere UwU I ÚwÚ pawt OwO you. uWu The 
fawcon >_< as x3 the tercel, fow aww x3 the ÚwÚ ducks :33 i' x3 th' river. Go ^.^ to, OwO go 
;;w;; to. 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_> You uWu have >_> beweft ;;w;; me of aww wowds, >_> wady. 
PANDARUS. Words x3 pay nyo debts, UwU give her ^-^ deeds; >_> but ^.^ she'ww ;;w;; beweave 
xDD you ^.^ o' x3 th' >_< deeds :3 too, >_> if ^.^ she caww x3 youw OwO activity uWu in x3 question. 
What, >w< biwwing ^w^ again? >_> Hewe's :3 'In >_> witnyess xDD wheweof x3 the ;;w;; pawties 
intewchangeabwy.' :3 Come x3 in, come UwU in; I'll OwO go get :3 a >_> fiwe. 
uWu Exit 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Will xDD you UwU wawk x3 in, x3 my xDD wowd? 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 O Cressid, >w< how often uWu have UwU I >w< wish'd ;;w;; me UwU thus! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. x3 Wish'd, x3 my ^.^ wowd! uWu The gods gwant-O x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_> What >_> shouwd ;;w;; they ;;w;; gwant? >_> What x3 makes ÚwÚ this OwO pwetty abruption? 
>_> What ^w^ too curious dreg espies x3 my x3 sweet uWu wady uWu in x3 the ^w^ fountain of UwU ouw 
love? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. uWu Mowe UwU dwegs than >_< watew, >_> if x3 my OwO feaws uWu have :3 eyes. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Feaws >_< make xDD deviws of chewubims; ;;w;; they >_< nyevew >_> see UwU twuwy. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :3 Bwind ;;w;; feaw, :3 that ^-^ seeing reason leads, ÚwÚ finds safer footing 
than ^w^ bwind reason x3 stumbwing ^-^ without ;;w;; feaw. ;;w;; To feaw x3 the worst ;;w;; oft 
cures x3 the x3 wowse. 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_< O, wet x3 my uWu wady >_< appwehend nyo ÚwÚ feaw! ^w^ In aww uWu Cupid's pageant 
there >_> is pwesented nyo ^.^ monstew. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. x3 Nyow >_< nyothing monstwous OwO nyeithew? 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU Nyothing, >_> but UwU ouw undewtakings when ^.^ we vow to xDD weep seas, 
^w^ wive uWu in ^w^ fiwe, :33 cat UwU wocks, >w< tame >_> tigews; uWu thinking >w< it harder fow UwU ouw 
mistwess to >w< devise ÚwÚ imposition enough than fow >_> us to ^w^ undewgo xDD any 
difficulty UwU imposed. This >_> is x3 the monstruosity uWu in xDD wuv, UwU wady, :3 that 
x3 the xDD wiww >_> is infinite, ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 execution c-confin'd; :3 that x3 the ^.^ desiwe 
>_> is ;;w;; boundwess, ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; act :3 a ;;w;; swave to limit. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^-^ They >_> say aww ^w^ wuvws >_< sweaw ^.^ mowe :3 pewfowmance than ;;w;; they OwO awe 
able, ÚwÚ and yet reserve >w< an ability :3 that ;;w;; they >_< nyevew perform; vowing 
^.^ mowe than x3 the pewfection of x3 ten, ÚwÚ and ^.^ dischawging less than x3 the 
>_> tenth ÚwÚ pawt of onye. ^-^ They :3 that uWu have x3 the uWu voice of wions ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; act 
of hares, OwO awe ;;w;; they nyot monstews? 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^w^ Awe there ;;w;; such? >w< Such OwO awe nyot >_< we. Praise >_> us >_< as ^.^ we OwO awe 
ÚwÚ tasted, UwU awwow >_> us >_< as ^.^ we pwuv; UwU ouw >_> head UwU shaww OwO go OwO bawe >w< tiww merit 
>_< cwown :3 it. No pewfection uWu in reversion UwU shaww uWu have :3 a praise uWu in 
:33 pwesent. We xDD wiww nyot xDD nyame desewt >w< befowe :33 his birth; x3 and, ^.^ being 
born, :33 his >w< addition UwU shaww be OwO humbwe. uWu Few wowds to >w< faiw :3 faith: 
Twoiwus UwU shaww be xDD such to ^w^ Cwessid >_< as >_> what :3 envy ^.^ can >_> say worst UwU shaww 
be :3 a ÚwÚ mock fow :33 his truth; ÚwÚ and >_> what uWu twuth ^.^ can speak uWu twuest nyot 
twuew than x3 Twoiwus. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Will xDD you UwU wawk x3 in, x3 my xDD wowd? 

^.^ We-entew uWu PANDAWUS 

PANDARUS. What, ;;w;; bwushing still? :3 Have xDD you nyot donye :33 tawking :33 yet? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. xDD Weww, uWu uncwe, >_> what >w< fowwy UwU I commit, UwU I dedicate to OwO you. 
PANDARUS. UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow :33 that; >_> if x3 my ;;w;; wowd get :3 a ;;w;; boy of UwU you, you'ww 
UwU give ^.^ him x3 me. ^w^ Be true to x3 my wowd; >_> if ^.^ he flinch, UwU chide ;;w;; me fow :3 it. 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_> You ^.^ knyow nyow x3 youw ÚwÚ hostages: x3 youw ^-^ uncwe's ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< fiwm 
ÚwÚ faith. 
PANDARUS. Nyay, I'll UwU give x3 my ;;w;; wowd fow her ^w^ too: UwU ouw ;;w;; kindwed, ^w^ though 
;;w;; they be ^-^ wong ere ;;w;; they OwO awe ÚwÚ wooed, ;;w;; they OwO awe ^w^ constant ^.^ being ^w^ won; 
;;w;; they OwO awe ^.^ buws, UwU I ^.^ can tell uWu you; they'ww OwO stick :3 whewe ;;w;; they OwO awe 
^.^ thwown. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Boldness x3 comes to ;;w;; me nyow ÚwÚ and >_< bwings ;;w;; me ;;w;; heawt. 
Prince ^.^ Twoiwus, UwU I uWu have :3 wov'd xDD you >w< nyight ÚwÚ and day 
For UwU many ÚwÚ weawy ÚwÚ months. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Why UwU was x3 my ^w^ Cwessid xDD then UwU so x3 hawd to ^.^ win? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ÚwÚ Hawd to xDD seem ^w^ won; >_> but UwU I UwU was >_> won, x3 my uWu wowd, 
With x3 the xDD fiwst glance :3 that ^w^ evew-pawdon x3 me. 
;;w;; If UwU I x3 confess ÚwÚ much, xDD you xDD wiww :33 pway x3 the tywant. 
UwU I wuv xDD you >_< nyow; >_> but >w< tiww nyow nyot UwU so much 
OwO But UwU I ^w^ might >_< mastew :3 it. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, UwU I wie; 
OwO My >_< thoughts :3 wewe ^.^ wike unbwidwed chiwdwen, grown 
Too headstrong fow uWu theiw x3 mothew. :3 See, ^.^ we uWu foows! 
Why uWu have UwU I UwU bwabb'd? Who UwU shaww be true to us, 
x3 When ^.^ we OwO awe UwU so unsecwet to ;;w;; ouwsewves? 
But, ^w^ though UwU I :3 wov'd xDD you weww, UwU I woo'd xDD you x3 nyot; 
xDD And ^w^ yet, ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, UwU I >w< wish'd mysewf :3 a ^w^ man, 
:33 Ow :3 that ^.^ we x3 women xDD had men's OwO pwiviwege 
Of speaking fiwst. OwO Sweet, bid ;;w;; me howd x3 my ;;w;; tongue, 
For uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU waptuwe UwU I UwU shaww x3 suwewy speak 
uWu The ^.^ thing UwU I UwU shaww wepent. :3 See, see, x3 youw siwence, 
Cunning uWu in dumbness, from x3 my ^.^ weaknyess ÚwÚ dwaws 
OwO My xDD vewy :3 souw of :3 counsew. uWu Stop x3 my xDD mouth. 
>_> TWOIWUS. xDD And UwU shaww, OwO awbeit x3 sweet uWu music >_> issues ^w^ thence. 
PANDARUS. Pretty, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, UwU pawdon OwO me; 
>_< 'Twas nyot x3 my OwO puwpose OwO thus to ÚwÚ beg :3 a >w< kiss. 
UwU I ^w^ am asham'd. x3 O OwO heavens! >_> what uWu have UwU I done? 
For ÚwÚ this time xDD wiww UwU I OwO take x3 my weave, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_> TWOIWUS. uWu Youw weave, x3 sweet Cressid! 
PANDARUS. Leave! ^-^ An xDD you OwO take OwO weave >w< tiww to-mowwow ^w^ mownying- 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> Pway UwU you, :3 content OwO you. 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_> What offends UwU you, x3 wady? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU Siw, >_< minye UwU own UwU company. 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_> You ;;w;; cannyot UwU shun OwO youwsewf. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Let ;;w;; me OwO go ÚwÚ and >_> twy. 
UwU I uWu have :3 a uWu kind of self UwU wesides with uWu you; 
OwO But >w< an :3 unkind ;;w;; sewf, :3 that itsewf xDD wiww OwO weave 
;;w;; To be another's xDD foow. UwU I ^.^ wouwd be ;;w;; gonye. 
Whewe >_> is x3 my ^-^ wit? UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what UwU I >_< speak. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Weww ^.^ knyow ;;w;; they >_> what ;;w;; they speak :3 that speak UwU so wisely. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Pewchance, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I x3 show ^.^ mowe cwaft than love; 
xDD And UwU feww UwU so roundly to :3 a large >_> confession 
;;w;; To :3 angwe fow x3 youw thoughts; >_> but xDD you OwO awe x3 wise- 
:33 Ow >_> ewse xDD you wuv x3 nyot; fow to be uWu wise ÚwÚ and wuv 
Exceeds :33 man's might; :3 that dwells with gods abuv. 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 O :3 that UwU I xDD thought >w< it couwd be uWu in :3 a ^-^ woman- 
As, >_> if >w< it ^-^ can, UwU I xDD wiww presume uWu in :3 you- 
;;w;; To >w< feed fow ^.^ aye her wamp ÚwÚ and flames of love; 
;;w;; To >_< keep her >_> constancy uWu in plight ÚwÚ and youth, 
>w< Outwiving beauty's outwawd, with :3 a ^-^ mind 
:33 That xDD doth renew ^w^ swiftew than :3 bwood >_< decays! 
:33 Ow :3 that :3 pewsuasion couwd >_> but OwO thus convince ;;w;; me 
:33 That x3 my >_< integwity ÚwÚ and uWu twuth to xDD you 
^.^ Might be ÚwÚ affwonted with x3 the >_< match ÚwÚ and >_> weight 
Of xDD such :3 a winnowed xDD puwity uWu in love. 
How :3 wewe UwU I xDD then xDD upwifted! but, :3 awas, 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as true >_< as ^-^ twuth's simplicity, 
xDD And simpler than x3 the infancy of truth. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ In :3 that I'll >w< waw with OwO you. 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 O virtuous x3 fight, 
x3 When >w< wight with >w< wight UwU waws who UwU shaww be UwU most wight! 
;;w;; Twue OwO swains uWu in wuv UwU shaww uWu in x3 the wowwd to come 
xDD Appwuv uWu theiw uWu twuth ^.^ by ^.^ Twoiwus, when uWu theiw whymes, 
Full of protest, of ;;w;; oath, ÚwÚ and big compare, 
OwO Want simiwes, uWu twuth ^.^ tiw'd with iteration- 
;;w;; As true >_< as >w< steew, >_< as OwO pwantage to x3 the ;;w;; moon, 
;;w;; As sun to ^-^ day, >_< as ^-^ tuwtwe to her ÚwÚ mate, 
;;w;; As iwon to x3 adamant, >_< as ^.^ eawth to x3 th' >_> centwe- 
Yet, ÚwÚ aftew aww UwU compawisons of truth, 
;;w;; As ^-^ twuth's OwO authentic ÚwÚ authow to be cited, 
;;w;; 'As true >_< as ;;w;; Twoiwus' UwU shaww >_< cwown x3 up x3 the >_> vewse 
xDD And >_> sanctify x3 the nyumbews. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Prophet OwO may xDD you OwO be! 
;;w;; If UwU I be :3 fawse, ow ^w^ swewve :3 a >_< haiw from truth, 
x3 When time >_> is ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and hath fowgot itself, 
x3 When x3 watewdwops uWu have wown x3 the ^.^ stonyes of Troy, 
xDD And ^w^ bwind oblivion swallow'd ^w^ cities up, 
xDD And ^-^ mighty UwU states ^w^ chawactewwess OwO awe :3 gwated 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ dusty ^.^ nyothing-yet wet ^w^ memowy 
Fwom UwU fawse to :3 fawse, ^-^ among UwU fawse ^w^ maids uWu in xDD wuv, 
uWu Upbwaid x3 my UwU fawsehood when x3 th' uWu have uWu said ;;w;; 'As UwU fawse 
;;w;; As air, >_< as >_< watew, ;;w;; wind, ow uWu sandy earth, 
;;w;; As fox to lamb, ow OwO wowf to x3 heifew's cawf, 
Pard to x3 the >w< hind, ow >_< stepdame to her >_< son'- 
Yea, wet them say, to OwO stick x3 the >_< heawt of fawsehood, 
;;w;; 'As UwU fawse >_< as Cwessid.' 
PANDARUS. Go ^.^ to, :3 a ^w^ bawgain ÚwÚ made; UwU seaw :33 it, UwU seaw uWu it; I'll be x3 the 
witness. :3 Hewe UwU I howd x3 youw xDD hand; OwO hewe x3 my >w< cousin's. ;;w;; If OwO evew xDD you 
^-^ pwuv UwU fawse one to another, xDD since UwU I uWu have :33 taken xDD such ^w^ pains to 
;;w;; bwing xDD you together, wet aww ^w^ pitifuw goers- ^-^ between be ^w^ caww'd to 
x3 the OwO wowwd's >w< end ÚwÚ aftew x3 my nyame-caww them aww ÚwÚ Pandaws; wet aww 
^w^ constant ;;w;; men be Twoiwuses, aww UwU fawse x3 women Cwessids, ÚwÚ and aww 
OwO bwokews ^-^ between Pandars. x3 Say >_> 'Amen.' 
>_> TWOIWUS. ÚwÚ Amen. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ÚwÚ Amen. 
PANDARUS. ÚwÚ Amen. x3 Wheweupon UwU I xDD wiww x3 show xDD you :3 a x3 chambew 
ÚwÚ and :3 a bed; which ^.^ bed, uWu because >w< it UwU shaww nyot speak of x3 youw 
OwO pwetty UwU encountews, x3 pwess >w< it to death. >_> Away! 
xDD And x3 Cupid gwant aww tongue-tied ^.^ maidens UwU hewe, 
Bed, chamber, pander, to provide ÚwÚ this gear! Exeunt 




^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
uWu The Gweek ÚwÚ camp 

>w< Fwouwish. Entew ^.^ AGAMEMNyON, UWYSSES, ^-^ DIOMEDES, uWu NyESTOW, ^.^ AJAX, >_> MENyEWAUS, 
ÚwÚ and CALCHAS 

:33 CAWCHAS. >_> Nyow, Pwinces, fow x3 the OwO sewvice UwU I uWu have :33 donye, 
xDD Th' ^w^ advantage of x3 the time prompts ;;w;; me >_< awoud 
;;w;; To caww fow ;;w;; wecompense. Appear >w< it to x3 youw ^-^ mind 
^.^ That, ^w^ thwough x3 the ^.^ sight UwU I UwU beaw uWu in ^.^ things to come, 
UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ abandon'd Troy, left x3 my ^-^ possession, 
^w^ Incuww'd :3 a UwU twaitow's :33 nyame, >_> expos'd mysewf 
Fwom xDD cewtain ÚwÚ and >_< possess'd x3 convenyiences 
;;w;; To ^.^ doubtfuw fortunes, sequest'ring from ;;w;; me aww 
:33 That time, ÚwÚ acquaintance, ^-^ custom, ÚwÚ and ^w^ condition, 
Made >w< tame ÚwÚ and UwU most ^.^ famiwiaw to x3 my >_< nyatuwe; 
xDD And UwU hewe, to UwU do xDD you sewvice, ^w^ am :33 become 
;;w;; As x3 nyew x3 into x3 the ^w^ wowwd, >_> stwange, unacquainted- 
UwU I UwU do :33 beseech UwU you, >_< as uWu in uWu way of x3 taste, 
;;w;; To UwU give ;;w;; me nyow :3 a xDD wittwe ^-^ benyefit 
UwU Out of UwU those UwU many ;;w;; wegist'wed uWu in ;;w;; pwomise, 
>_< Which xDD you >_> say ^w^ wive to come uWu in x3 my ^.^ behawf. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. >_> What wouldst xDD thou of us, Twoyan? ^-^ Make >_> demand. 
:33 CAWCHAS. >_> You uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ Twoyan ÚwÚ pwisonyew ^w^ caww'd Antenyow, 
>w< Yestewday UwU took; Twoy ÚwÚ howds ^.^ him xDD vewy deaw. 
x3 Oft uWu have ^.^ you-often uWu have xDD you thanks ;;w;; thewefowe- 
uWu Desiw'd x3 my ^w^ Cwessid uWu in >w< wight great ^w^ exchange, 
;;w;; Whom Twoy hath still :33 denyied; >_> but ÚwÚ this Antenyow, 
UwU I knyow, >_> is xDD such :3 a x3 wwest uWu in uWu theiw affairs 
:33 That uWu theiw x3 nyegotiations aww ^w^ must ^w^ swack 
:3 Wanting :33 his UwU manyage; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they xDD wiww almost 
Give >_> us :3 a >_> pwince of bwood, :3 a >_< son of ^w^ Pwiam, 
^w^ In change of ^.^ him. Let ^.^ him be ;;w;; sent, great Pwinces, 
xDD And ^.^ he UwU shaww UwU buy x3 my ;;w;; daughtew; ÚwÚ and her x3 pwesence 
Shall quite strike x3 off aww OwO sewvice UwU I uWu have donye 
^w^ In UwU most x3 accepted OwO pain. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Let ;;w;; Diomedes UwU beaw :3 him, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing >_> us ^w^ Cwessid hithew. Calchas UwU shaww uWu have 
>_> What ^.^ he uWu wequests of >_> us. ^-^ Good :33 Diomed, 
Fuwnyish xDD you ^.^ faiwwy fow ÚwÚ this ^.^ intewchange; 
Withaw, ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; wowd >_> if >_> Hectow xDD wiww to-mowwow 
^w^ Be x3 answew'd uWu in :33 his chawwenge. ^.^ Ajax >_> is weady. 
xDD DIOMEDES. This UwU shaww UwU I undertake; ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis :3 a buwden 
>_< Which UwU I ^w^ am OwO pwoud to bear. 
Exeunt x3 DIOMEDES ÚwÚ and CALCHAS 

UwU ACHIWWES ÚwÚ and UwU PATWOCWUS stand uWu in uWu theiw ^w^ tent 

ULYSSES. Achilles >w< stands :33 i' x3 th' entrance of :33 his uWu tent. 
ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it UwU ouw general pass OwO stwangewy ^.^ by :3 him, 
;;w;; As >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe :3 fowgot; x3 and, Princes all, 
Way negligent ÚwÚ and ;;w;; woose regard ;;w;; upon ^.^ him. 
UwU I xDD wiww come last. 'Tis ^.^ wike he'ww ;;w;; question ;;w;; me 
Why xDD such ÚwÚ unpwausive eyes OwO awe xDD bent, >w< why >_> tuwn'd on him? 
;;w;; If >_> so, UwU I uWu have dewision uWu med'cinyabwe 
;;w;; To use ^-^ between x3 youw :33 stwangenyess ÚwÚ and :33 his pride, 
>_< Which :33 his UwU own xDD wiww UwU shaww uWu have ^.^ desiwe to ^-^ dwink. 
^.^ It OwO may UwU do UwU good. Pride hath nyo othew gwass 
;;w;; To x3 show itsewf >_> but >_> pwide; fow supple knees 
UwU Feed uWu awwogance ÚwÚ and OwO awe x3 the OwO pwoud :33 man's ÚwÚ fees. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. ^-^ We'ww :33 execute x3 youw xDD puwpose, ÚwÚ and put on 
^-^ A >_< fowm of :33 stwangenyess >_< as ^.^ we pass >_> awong. 
^w^ So UwU do >_< each wowd; ÚwÚ and xDD eithew x3 gweet ^.^ him >_> nyot, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse :3 disdainfuwwy, which UwU shaww ;;w;; shake ^.^ him ^.^ mowe 
Than >_> if nyot >_> wook'd :3 on. UwU I xDD wiww lead x3 the >_> way. 
ACHIWWES. >_> What x3 comes x3 the general to speak with me? 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 my :33 mind. I'll >w< fight nyo ^.^ mowe uWu 'gainst >_> Twoy. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. >_> What ;;w;; says uWu Achiwwes? Wouwd ^.^ he ^.^ aught with us? 
^-^ NyESTOW. Wouwd UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ aught with x3 the x3 genyewaw? 
ACHIWWES. No. 
^-^ NyESTOW. UwU Nyothing, x3 my OwO wowd. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. uWu The ^-^ bettew. 
Exeunt AGAMEMNyON ÚwÚ and :3 NyESTOW 
ACHIWWES. ^-^ Good ^-^ day, ÚwÚ good x3 day. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. How UwU do you? How UwU do you? uWu Exit 
ACHIWWES. What, does x3 the cuckold ^w^ scown me? 
uWu AJAX. How now, ^.^ Patwocwus? 
ACHIWWES. ^-^ Good morrow, UwU Ajax. 
uWu AJAX. ÚwÚ Ha? 
ACHIWWES. ^-^ Good :3 mowwow. 
uWu AJAX. Ay, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good :3 nyext day UwU too. uWu Exit 
ACHIWWES. >_> What >_> mean these fewwows? xDD Knyow ;;w;; they nyot uWu Achiwwes? 
PATWOCWUS. ^-^ They pass ^.^ by stwangewy. ^-^ They :3 wewe ;;w;; us'd to ÚwÚ bend, 
;;w;; To >_> send uWu theiw ^-^ smiwes >w< befowe them to ^.^ Achiwwes, 
;;w;; To come >_< as x3 humbwy >_< as ;;w;; they ;;w;; us'd to :3 cweep 
;;w;; To >w< howy ^-^ awtaws. 
ACHIWWES. What, ^w^ am UwU I poor of uWu wate? 
'Tis cewtain, greatness, >_> once fall'n x3 out with fowtunye, 
:3 Must faww x3 out with ;;w;; men UwU too. >_> What x3 the declin'd ;;w;; is, 
>w< He UwU shaww >_< as >w< soon ^w^ wead uWu in x3 the eyes of ;;w;; othews 
;;w;; As x3 feew uWu in :33 his UwU own uWu faww; fow men, ^.^ wike UwU buttewfwies, 
uWu Show nyot uWu theiw meawy x3 wings >_> but to x3 the summer; 
xDD And nyot :3 a x3 man fow ^.^ being simply x3 man 
>_< Hath xDD any honyouw, >_> but honour fow UwU those honyouws 
:33 That OwO awe ^-^ without :3 him, >_< as pwace, ÚwÚ wiches, ÚwÚ and favour, 
>w< Pwizes of :3 accident, >_< as ;;w;; oft >_< as x3 mewit; 
>_< Which when ;;w;; they ^.^ faww, >_< as ^.^ being slippery UwU standews, 
uWu The wuv :3 that lean'd on them >_< as slippery :3 too, 
^-^ Doth one pluck down another, ÚwÚ and togethew 
:33 Die uWu in x3 the UwU faww. OwO But UwU 'tis nyot UwU so with ;;w;; me: 
:33 Fowtunye ÚwÚ and UwU I OwO awe >_< fwiends; UwU I UwU do ^.^ enjoy 
At uWu ampwe :33 point aww :3 that UwU I uWu did possess 
:3 Save these men's looks; who UwU do, UwU methinks, find x3 out 
xDD Something nyot ^.^ wowth uWu in ;;w;; me xDD such rich beholding 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they uWu have often ;;w;; given. :3 Hewe >_> is UwU Uwysses. 
I'll interrupt :33 his reading. 
How now, Ulysses! 
ULYSSES. >_> Nyow, great ^w^ Thetis' ^w^ son! 
ACHIWWES. >_> What OwO awe xDD you :33 weading? 
ULYSSES. ^-^ A ;;w;; stwange fewwow OwO hewe 
:33 Wwites ;;w;; me :3 that ;;w;; man-how ÚwÚ deawwy OwO evew parted, 
How much uWu in x3 having, ow ^-^ without ow in- 
UwU Cannyot >_< make boast to uWu have :3 that which ^.^ he :33 hath, 
x3 Nyow feews nyot >_> what ^.^ he >w< owes, >_> but ^.^ by wefwection; 
;;w;; As when :33 his uWu viwtues >_< shinying ;;w;; upon ;;w;; othews 
>_> Heat ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they xDD wetowt :3 that ^.^ heat again 
;;w;; To x3 the xDD fiwst uWu givew. 
ACHIWWES. This >_> is nyot >_> stwange, UwU Uwysses. 
uWu The beauty :3 that >_> is :3 bownye OwO hewe uWu in x3 the OwO face 
uWu The bearer xDD knyows >_> nyot, >_> but uWu commends itsewf 
;;w;; To OwO othews' eyes; nor xDD doth x3 the ^w^ eye :3 itsewf- 
:33 That UwU most puwe ^w^ spiwit of ;;w;; sense-behowd itself, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 going from >_< itsewf; >_> but ^w^ eye to ^w^ eye >_< opposed 
Sawutes >_< each othew with >_< each ;;w;; othew's fowm; 
For speculation tuwns nyot to itsewf 
Tiww >w< it hath :33 twaveww'd, ÚwÚ and >_> is mirror'd there 
Whewe >w< it OwO may >_> see itself. This >_> is nyot ;;w;; stwange uWu at all. 
ULYSSES. UwU I UwU do nyot ;;w;; stwain uWu at x3 the ^w^ position- 
^.^ It >_> is uWu famiwiaw-but uWu at x3 the authow's ^w^ dwift; 
UwU Who, uWu in :33 his ciwcumstance, >w< expwesswy ;;w;; pwuvs 
:33 That nyo x3 man >_> is x3 the ;;w;; wowd of anything, 
;;w;; Though uWu in ÚwÚ and of ^.^ him there be much OwO consisting, 
Tiww ^.^ he >_> communyicate :33 his parts to :3 othews; 
x3 Nyow xDD doth ^.^ he of >_< himsewf ^.^ knyow them fow ^.^ aught 
Tiww ^.^ he behowd them formed uWu in x3 th' >_< appwause 
Whewe x3 th' OwO awe :33 extended; who, ^.^ wike >w< an :33 awch, wevewb'wate 
uWu The uWu voice again; or, ^.^ wike :3 a uWu gate of steew 
uWu Fwonting x3 the sun, weceives ÚwÚ and wendews back 
ÚwÚ His xDD figuwe ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 heat. UwU I UwU was much wapt uWu in >_< this; 
xDD And apprehended OwO hewe immediatewy 
xDD Th' unknown UwU Ajax. >w< Heavens, >_> what :3 a x3 man >_> is thewe! 
^-^ A xDD vewy UwU howse :3 that >_> has ^.^ he xDD knyows nyot xDD what! 
OwO Nyatuwe, >_> what ^.^ things there OwO awe 
:3 Most abject uWu in regard ÚwÚ and uWu deaw uWu in ÚwÚ use! 
>_> What ^.^ things again UwU most uWu deaw uWu in x3 the >_> esteem 
xDD And poor uWu in :33 wowth! Now UwU shaww ^.^ we >_> see UwU to-mowwow- 
^-^ An ;;w;; act :3 that xDD vewy chance xDD doth ^-^ thwow ;;w;; upon uWu him- 
^.^ Ajax xDD wenyown'd. x3 O >w< heavens, >_> what x3 some ;;w;; men UwU do, 
While x3 some ;;w;; men OwO weave to :33 do! 
How x3 some ;;w;; men :3 cweep uWu in ^.^ skittish :33 Fowtunye's-haww, 
Whiwes ;;w;; othews :33 pway x3 the ^.^ idiots uWu in her xDD eyes! 
How one x3 man ^w^ eats x3 into another's pride, 
While >_< pwide >_> is ;;w;; fasting uWu in :33 his >_> wantonnyess! 
;;w;; To >_> see these Grecian wowds!-why, even xDD awweady 
^-^ They >_< cwap x3 the xDD wubbew ^.^ Ajax on x3 the shouwdew, 
;;w;; As >_> if :33 his :33 foot :3 wewe on >_< bwave :33 Hectow's UwU bweast, 
xDD And great Twoy shrinking. 
ACHIWWES. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve uWu it; fow ;;w;; they :33 pass'd ^.^ by ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As >_> misews UwU do ^.^ by beggars-neither uWu gave to ;;w;; me 
^-^ Good ;;w;; wowd nor wook. What, OwO awe x3 my >_< deeds OwO fowgot? 
ULYSSES. ^-^ Time :33 hath, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 a :3 wawwet uWu at :33 his back, 
^-^ Whewein ^.^ he puts :3 awms fow >_> obwivion, 
^-^ A great-siz'd monstew of ^w^ ingwatitudes. 
>w< Those >_> scwaps OwO awe ÚwÚ good >_< deeds past, which OwO awe x3 devouw'd 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ fast >_< as ;;w;; they OwO awe made, fowgot >_< as >w< soon 
;;w;; As ^-^ donye. ^w^ Pewsevewance, uWu deaw x3 my uWu wowd, 
^-^ Keeps honour >_< bwight. ;;w;; To uWu have donye >_> is to ^w^ hang 
>_< Quite x3 out of fashion, ^.^ wike :3 a rusty maiw 
^w^ In :3 monyumentaw UwU mock'wy. ^.^ Take x3 the x3 instant way; 
For honour ^w^ twavews uWu in :3 a stwait UwU so nyawwow - 
Whewe one >_> but xDD goes uWu abweast. ^w^ Keep xDD then x3 the >_> path, 
For ;;w;; emuwation hath :3 a thousand xDD sons 
:33 That one ^.^ by one puwsue; >_> if xDD you UwU give :3 way, 
:33 Ow ^-^ hedge :3 aside from x3 the direct fowthwight, 
Wike to >w< an ^w^ ent'wed >_< tide ;;w;; they aww >_< wush ^.^ by 
xDD And OwO weave xDD you hindmost; 
:3 Ow, ^.^ wike :3 a OwO gawwant UwU howse fall'n uWu in xDD fiwst UwU wank, 
Lie there fow :3 pavement to x3 the abject OwO weaw, 
ÚwÚ O'ew-wun ÚwÚ and uWu twampwed :3 on. UwU Then >_> what ;;w;; they UwU do uWu in ÚwÚ pwesent, 
;;w;; Though less than >_> youws uWu in past, ^w^ must o'ewtop OwO youws; 
For ^-^ Time >_> is ^.^ wike :3 a fashionable >_< host, 
:33 That swightwy ÚwÚ shakes :33 his >w< pawting uWu guest ^.^ by x3 th' xDD hand; 
xDD And with :33 his :3 awms out-stretch'd, >_< as ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd fly, 
Grasps uWu in x3 the ;;w;; cownyew. uWu The wewcome OwO evew >_> smiwes, 
xDD And >_< faweweww xDD goes x3 out ^.^ sighing. >_< O, wet nyot viwtue >_> seek 
>_> Wemunyewation fow x3 the ^.^ thing >w< it OwO was; 
For >w< beauty, ^w^ wit, 
xDD High birth, >_< vigouw of bone, desewt uWu in sewvice, 
Wuv, ^-^ fwiendship, chawity, OwO awe subjects aww 
;;w;; To envious ÚwÚ and >_> cawumnyiating OwO Time. 
x3 Onye :33 touch of ÚwÚ nyatuwe x3 makes x3 the whole wowwd UwU kin- 
:33 That aww with one >_< consent praise nyew-bown :33 gawds, 
;;w;; Though ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU made ÚwÚ and moulded of ^.^ things past, 
xDD And UwU give to x3 dust :3 that >_> is :3 a xDD wittwe gilt 
uWu Mowe waud than gilt o'er-dusted. 
uWu The xDD pwesent ^w^ eye pwaises x3 the xDD pwesent xDD object. 
UwU Then :3 mawvew >_> nyot, xDD thou great ÚwÚ and complete ^w^ man, 
:33 That aww x3 the Gweeks x3 begin to :33 wowship >w< Ajax, 
Since ^.^ things uWu in >_> motion :33 soonyew catch x3 the ^w^ eye 
Than >_> what stiws not. uWu The cwy OwO went >_> once on ÚwÚ thee, 
xDD And still >w< it xDD might, ÚwÚ and yet >w< it OwO may OwO again, 
;;w;; If xDD thou wouldst nyot :3 entomb >w< thysewf ^.^ awive 
xDD And case >w< thy >_< weputation uWu in >w< thy x3 tent, 
>_< Whose glorious >_< deeds >_> but uWu in these fields of wate 
Made ;;w;; emuwous missions ^w^ 'mongst x3 the gods ^.^ themsewves, 
xDD And x3 dwave great uWu Maws to OwO faction. 
ACHIWWES. Of ÚwÚ this x3 my privacy 
UwU I uWu have >w< stwong weasons. 
ULYSSES. OwO But uWu 'gainst x3 youw privacy 
uWu The weasons OwO awe ^.^ mowe x3 potent ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ hewoicaw. 
'Tis ^-^ knyown, ^.^ Achiwwes, :3 that xDD you OwO awe uWu in wuv 
With one of ^w^ Pwiam's daughters. 
ACHIWWES. uWu Ha! x3 knyown! 
ULYSSES. Is :3 that :3 a wonder? 
uWu The >w< pwovidence ^w^ that's uWu in :3 a ÚwÚ watchfuw >w< state 
xDD Knyows almost every ^-^ gwain of >w< Pwutus' x3 gowd; 
Finds :3 bottom uWu in x3 th' uncomprehensive deeps; 
^-^ Keeps :33 pwace with ^-^ thought, ÚwÚ and almost, ^.^ wike x3 the uWu gods, 
Do >_< thoughts unveil uWu in uWu theiw UwU dumb cwadwes. 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a OwO mystewy-with ÚwÚ whom wewation 
:3 Duwst >_< nyevew ^w^ meddwe-in x3 the :3 souw of state, 
>_< Which hath >w< an x3 opewation ^.^ mowe divine 
Than UwU bweath ow OwO pen ^.^ can UwU give expressure ;;w;; to. 
All x3 the >_< commewce :3 that xDD you uWu have xDD had with Twoy 
;;w;; As pewfectwy >_> is ouws >_< as >_< youws, x3 my wowd; 
xDD And xDD bettew ^.^ wouwd >w< it ;;w;; fit Achilles much 
;;w;; To ^-^ thwow down >_> Hectow than Polyxena. 
OwO But >w< it ^w^ must UwU gwieve xDD young ^-^ Pywwhus nyow uWu at ^.^ home, 
x3 When fame UwU shaww uWu in UwU ouw >_< iswand >_> sound her :33 twump, 
xDD And aww x3 the Gweekish giwws UwU shaww ;;w;; twipping ^.^ sing 
'Gweat :33 Hectow's :3 sistew uWu did Achilles xDD win; 
OwO But UwU ouw great ^.^ Ajax bravely xDD beat down >_< him.' 
UwU Faweweww, x3 my OwO wowd. UwU I >_< as x3 youw wuvw >_< speak. 
uWu The >w< foow >w< swides ^-^ o'ew x3 the :3 ice :3 that xDD you >_> shouwd *cuddles you* bweak. uWu Exit 
PATWOCWUS. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ this xDD effect, ^.^ Achiwwes, uWu have UwU I x3 mov'd OwO you. 
^-^ A OwO woman ^w^ impudent ÚwÚ and ;;w;; mannyish grown 
Is nyot ^.^ mowe loath'd than >w< an effeminyate x3 man 
^w^ In time of OwO action. UwU I stand condemn'd fow >_< this; 
^-^ They think x3 my xDD wittwe stomach to x3 the >w< waw 
xDD And x3 youw great wuv to ;;w;; me restrains xDD you OwO thus. 
OwO Sweet, wouse :33 youwsewf; ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD weak >_< wanton x3 Cupid 
Shall from x3 youw x3 nyeck unwoose :33 his :3 amowous fowd, 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ dew-dwop from x3 the ;;w;; wion's mane, 
^w^ Be >_> shook to airy air. 
ACHIWWES. Shall ^.^ Ajax >w< fight with Hector? 
PATWOCWUS. Ay, ÚwÚ and ^-^ pewhaps receive much honour ^.^ by ^.^ him. 
ACHIWWES. UwU I >_> see x3 my >_< weputation >_> is uWu at xDD stake; 
OwO My fame >_> is >w< shwewdwy gor'd. 
PATWOCWUS. >_< O, >w< then, UwU bewawe: 
>w< Those wounds heal :33 iww :3 that ;;w;; men UwU do UwU give themselves; 
>_> Omission to UwU do >_> what >_> is ^.^ nyecessawy 
Seals :3 a OwO commission to :3 a ;;w;; bwank of xDD dangew; 
xDD And uWu dangew, ^.^ wike >w< an ague, subtwy ^w^ taints 
Even xDD then when ;;w;; they sit idly uWu in x3 the OwO sun. 
ACHIWWES. Go caww Thewsites hithew, x3 sweet >w< Patwocwus. 
I'll >_> send x3 the >w< foow to >w< Ajax, ÚwÚ and ^.^ desiwe ^.^ him 
;;w;; T' invite x3 the ÚwÚ Twoyan wowds, ÚwÚ aftew x3 the x3 combat, 
;;w;; To >_> see >_> us OwO hewe UwU unyawm'd. UwU I uWu have :3 a xDD woman's wonging, 
^-^ An xDD appetite :3 that UwU I ^w^ am >w< sick withaw, 
;;w;; To >_> see great >_> Hectow uWu in :33 his UwU weeds of :3 peace; 
;;w;; To tawk with :3 him, ÚwÚ and to behowd :33 his ;;w;; visage, 
Even to x3 my full of x3 view. 

Entew >w< THEWSITES 

^-^ A labour uWu sav'd! 
:3 THEWSITES. ^-^ A xDD wondew! 
ACHIWWES. What? 
:3 THEWSITES. ^.^ Ajax xDD goes x3 up ÚwÚ and down x3 the field asking fow himself. 
ACHIWWES. How so? 
:3 THEWSITES. >w< He ^w^ must >w< fight OwO singwy to-mowwow with Hectow, ÚwÚ and >_> is UwU so 
x3 pwopheticawwy OwO pwoud of >w< an hewoicaw cudgewwing :3 that ^.^ he ;;w;; waves uWu in 
:3 saying OwO nyothing. 
ACHIWWES. How ^.^ can :3 that :3 be? 
:3 THEWSITES. Why, xDD 'a ;;w;; stawks x3 up ÚwÚ and down ^.^ wike :3 a :33 peacock-a stwide ÚwÚ and :3 a 
xDD stand; wuminyaies ^.^ wike >w< an hostess :3 that hath nyo awithmetic >_> but her 
:3 bwain to uWu set down her ^-^ weckonying, ^w^ bites :33 his >_< wip with :3 a ;;w;; powitic 
regard, >_< as who >_> shouwd >_> say ^-^ 'Thewe :3 wewe wit uWu in ÚwÚ this head, >w< an 
^w^ 'twouwd >_< out'; ÚwÚ and UwU so there is; >_> but >w< it wies >_< as coldly uWu in ^.^ him >_< as 
fire uWu in :3 a xDD fwint, which xDD wiww nyot x3 show ^-^ without OwO knyocking. uWu The :33 man's 
ÚwÚ undonye fow evew; fow >_> if >_> Hectow bweak nyot :33 his x3 nyeck :33 i' x3 th' x3 combat, 
he'ww break't >_< himsewf uWu in vainglory. >w< He xDD knyows nyot x3 me. UwU I uWu said x3 'Good 
morrow, >w< Ajax'; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_< wepwies xDD 'Thanks, OwO Agamemnyon.' >_> What think xDD you 
of ÚwÚ this x3 man :3 that UwU takes ;;w;; me fow x3 the x3 genyewaw? He's grown :3 a xDD vewy ÚwÚ wand 
;;w;; fish, >w< wanguagewess, :3 a ^.^ monstew. ^-^ A pwague of ^.^ opinyion! ^-^ A x3 man OwO may 
^-^ weaw >w< it on both :33 sides, ^.^ wike >_> weathew :33 jewkin. 
ACHIWWES. ^.^ Thou ^w^ must be x3 my ambassador to :3 him, :3 Thewsites. 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU Who, >_< I? Why, he'ww answew nyobody; ^.^ he >_< pwofesses nyot 
ÚwÚ answewing. >_> Speaking >_> is fow beggaws: ^.^ he ^-^ weaws :33 his >_> tongue in's 
arms. UwU I xDD wiww put on :33 his pwesence. Let Patwocwus >_< make :33 his uWu demands 
to uWu me, xDD you UwU shaww >_> see x3 the pageant of UwU Ajax. 
ACHIWWES. ;;w;; To :3 him, >w< Patwocwus. Teww ^.^ him UwU I x3 humbwy ^.^ desiwe x3 the uWu vawiant 
^.^ Ajax to invite x3 the UwU most valorous >_> Hectow to come ^-^ unyawm'd to x3 my 
^w^ tent; ÚwÚ and to ;;w;; pwocuwe >_< safe ÚwÚ conduct fow :33 his ÚwÚ pewson of x3 the 
:33 magnyanyimous ÚwÚ and UwU most ÚwÚ iwwustwious six-or-seven-times-honour'd 
uWu Captain General of x3 the Grecian xDD awmy, ^w^ et >_> cetewa, Agamemnon. Do 
UwU this. 
PATWOCWUS. Juv ;;w;; bwess great Ajax! 
:3 THEWSITES. :3 Hum! 
PATWOCWUS. UwU I come from x3 the ÚwÚ wowthy >w< Achiwwes- 
:3 THEWSITES. uWu Ha! 
PATWOCWUS. Who UwU most x3 humbwy desiwes xDD you to invite >_> Hectow to :33 his 
tent- 
:3 THEWSITES. :3 Hum! 
PATWOCWUS. xDD And to ;;w;; pwocuwe >_< safe ÚwÚ conduct from Agamemnon. 
:3 THEWSITES. >w< Agamemnyon! 
PATWOCWUS. Ay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
:3 THEWSITES. uWu Ha! 
PATWOCWUS. >_> What xDD you >_> say ÚwÚ to't? 
:3 THEWSITES. ^w^ God UwU buy UwU you, with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
PATWOCWUS. uWu Youw ÚwÚ answew, sir. 
:3 THEWSITES. ;;w;; If to-mowwow be :3 a >w< faiw ^-^ day, ^.^ by eleven of x3 the >w< cwock >w< it 
xDD wiww OwO go one uWu way ow :3 othew. Howsoever, ^.^ he UwU shaww x3 pay fow ;;w;; me ere ^.^ he 
>_> has x3 me. 
PATWOCWUS. uWu Youw ÚwÚ answew, sir. 
:3 THEWSITES. >w< Fawe OwO ye weww, with aww x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
ACHIWWES. Why, >_> but ^.^ he >_> is nyot uWu in ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ tunye, >_> is uWu he? 
:3 THEWSITES. :3 Nyo, >_> but uWu he's x3 out :3 a tune OwO thus. >_> What uWu music xDD wiww be uWu in ^.^ him 
when >_> Hectow >_> has knyock'd x3 out :33 his brains UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; but, UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, 
x3 nyonye; ^w^ unwess x3 the ÚwÚ fiddwew Apollo get :33 his sinews to >_< make :3 catwings 
:3 on. 
ACHIWWES. ^.^ Come, xDD thou shalt UwU beaw :3 a >_> wettew to ^.^ him stwaight. 
:3 THEWSITES. Let ;;w;; me carry anyothew to :33 his :33 howse; fow ^w^ that's x3 the ^.^ mowe 
capabwe xDD cweatuwe. 
ACHIWWES. OwO My ^-^ mind >_> is xDD twoubwed, ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ fountain stirr'd; 
xDD And UwU I mysewf >_> see nyot x3 the :3 bottom of :3 it. 
Exeunt UwU ACHIWWES ÚwÚ and UwU PATWOCWUS 
:3 THEWSITES. Wouwd x3 the ^w^ fountain of x3 youw ^-^ mind :3 wewe ^-^ cweaw OwO again, :3 that UwU I 
^w^ might UwU watew >w< an >w< ass uWu at :3 it. UwU I xDD had rather be :3 a tick uWu in :3 a sheep than 
xDD such :3 a uWu vawiant UwU ignyowance. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
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SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
>_> Twoy. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

OwO Entew, uWu at one side, AENyEAS, ÚwÚ and xDD sewvant with :3 a towch; uWu at another, 
OwO PAWIS, :3 DEIPHOBUS, xDD ANTENyOW, x3 DIOMEDES x3 the :33 Gwecian, ÚwÚ and ^w^ othews, with torches 

:33 PAWIS. :3 See, ho! Who >_> is :3 that OwO thewe? 
DEIPHOBUS. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the Lord ;;w;; Aenyeas. 
AENEAS. Is x3 the Prince there uWu in ^.^ pewson? 
xDD Had UwU I UwU so ÚwÚ good ;;w;; occasion to >_< wie ^-^ wong 
;;w;; As UwU you, Prince >_< Pawis, >_< nyothing >_> but ^-^ heavenwy business 
Should rob x3 my ^.^ bed-mate of x3 my UwU company. 
xDD DIOMEDES. >w< That's x3 my ^-^ mind UwU too. ^-^ Good morrow, Lord ;;w;; Aenyeas. 
:33 PAWIS. ^-^ A uWu vawiant Greek, ÚwÚ Aenyeas -take :33 his ÚwÚ hand: 
Witness x3 the xDD pwocess of x3 youw ;;w;; speech, wherein 
>_> You told >w< how :33 Diomed, :3 a whole >_< week ^.^ by uWu days, 
Did >_> haunt xDD you uWu in x3 the >_> fiewd. 
AENEAS. :3 Heawth to UwU you, uWu vawiant ^w^ siw, 
^w^ Duwing aww ;;w;; question of x3 the ^-^ gentwe x3 twuce; 
OwO But when UwU I :3 meet xDD you arm'd, >_< as black ^-^ defiance 
;;w;; As >_< heawt ^.^ can think ow couwage x3 execute. 
xDD DIOMEDES. uWu The one ÚwÚ and othew xDD Diomed embraces. 
Our xDD bwoods OwO awe nyow uWu in :3 cawm; ÚwÚ and UwU so ^-^ wong health! 
OwO But when ;;w;; contention ÚwÚ and ;;w;; occasion ^w^ meet, 
^-^ By Juv, I'll :33 pway x3 the :33 huntew fow >w< thy >w< wife 
With aww x3 my fowce, ;;w;; puwsuit, ÚwÚ and policy. 
AENEAS. xDD And xDD thou shalt OwO hunt :3 a wion, :3 that xDD wiww fwy 
With :33 his OwO face backwawd. ^w^ In ^w^ humanye gentwenyess, 
Welcome to Twoy! now, ^.^ by >_< Anchises' :3 wife, 
Welcome ^w^ indeed! ^-^ By ^-^ Venyus' uWu hand UwU I >_< sweaw 
No x3 man ^.^ awive ^.^ can wuv uWu in xDD such :3 a ;;w;; sowt 
uWu The ^.^ thing ^.^ he means to ^.^ kiww, ^.^ mowe excewwentwy. 
xDD DIOMEDES. We x3 sympathise. Juv wet ÚwÚ Aenyeas x3 wive, 
;;w;; If to x3 my xDD swowd :33 his fate be nyot x3 the xDD gwowy, 
^-^ A thousand complete ;;w;; couwses of x3 the >_< sun! 
OwO But uWu in >_< minye ;;w;; emuwous honour wet ^.^ him ^-^ die 
With every UwU joint :3 a ^-^ wound, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ to-mowwow! 
AENEAS. We ^.^ knyow >_< each othew well. 
^w^ DIOMEDES.We do; ÚwÚ and ^-^ wong to ^.^ knyow >_< each othew x3 wowse. 
:33 PAWIS. This >_> is x3 the UwU most despiteful'st ^-^ gentwe :3 gweeting 
uWu The uWu nyobwest hateful xDD wuv, :3 that ;;w;; e'ew UwU I heard uWu of. 
>_> What business, uWu wowd, UwU so ^w^ eawwy? 
AENEAS. UwU I UwU was sent fow to x3 the uWu King; >_> but >w< why, UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
:33 PAWIS. ÚwÚ His OwO puwpose ^.^ meets xDD you: uWu 'twas to ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ this Gweek 
;;w;; To >_< Cawchas' house, ÚwÚ and there to render :3 him, 
For x3 the enfweed Antenyow, x3 the >w< faiw Cressid. 
:3 Wet's uWu have x3 youw company; or, >_> if xDD you please, 
Haste there >w< befowe >_> us. UwU I >_< constantwy believe- 
:33 Ow rather caww x3 my xDD thought :3 a xDD cewtain knyowwedge- 
OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew Twoiwus ^.^ wodges there to-night. 
ÚwÚ Wouse ^.^ him ÚwÚ and UwU give ^.^ him ^-^ nyote of UwU ouw approach, 
With x3 the whole ;;w;; quawity ÚwÚ whewefowe; UwU I feaw 
We UwU shaww be much unwewcome. 
AENEAS. :33 That UwU I :33 assuwe xDD you: 
Twoiwus xDD had rather Twoy :3 wewe :3 bownye to >w< Gweece 
Than ^w^ Cwessid :3 bownye from >_> Twoy. 
:33 PAWIS. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo UwU hewp; 
uWu The UwU bittew uWu disposition of x3 the time 
Will uWu have >w< it :3 so. ÚwÚ On, wowd; we'll ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. 
AENEAS. ^-^ Good morrow, all. uWu Exit with xDD sewvant 
:33 PAWIS. xDD And tell uWu me, x3 nyobwe ^w^ Diomed-faith, tell ;;w;; me ^-^ twue, 
Even uWu in x3 the :3 souw of >_> sound ÚwÚ good-fewwowship- 
Who uWu in x3 youw >_< thoughts >_> desewves >w< faiw :33 Hewen ^w^ best, 
xDD Mysewf ow Menelaus? 
xDD DIOMEDES. UwU Both OwO awike: 
>w< He xDD mewits weww to uWu have her :3 that xDD doth >_> seek hew, 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 making xDD any :33 scwupwe of her soilure, 
With xDD such :3 a heww of :33 pain ÚwÚ and wowwd of chawge; 
xDD And xDD you >_< as weww to >_< keep her :3 that ;;w;; defend hew, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< pawating x3 the >_> taste of her :3 dishonyouw, 
With xDD such :3 a x3 costwy ^-^ woss of weawth ÚwÚ and fwiends. 
>w< He ^.^ wike :3 a puling cuckold ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ dwink x3 up 
uWu The lees ÚwÚ and UwU dwegs of :3 a flat :33 tamed piece; 
>_< You, ^.^ wike :3 a ^-^ wechew, x3 out of whorish >_< woins 
^w^ Awe pleas'd to breed x3 out x3 youw :3 inhewitows. 
UwU Both xDD mewits pois'd, >_< each :3 weighs nor less nor mowe; 
OwO But ^.^ he >_< as xDD he, x3 the heaview fow :3 a ^-^ whowe. 
:33 PAWIS. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ too UwU bittew to x3 youw xDD countwy-woman. 
xDD DIOMEDES. >_> She's UwU bittew to her country. >w< Heaw uWu me, Paris: 
For every UwU fawse >_< dwop uWu in her ^w^ bawdy >_> veins 
^-^ A Grecian's >w< wife hath >w< sunk; fow every :33 scwupwe 
Of her contaminated OwO cawwion >_> weight 
^-^ A ÚwÚ Twoyan hath :33 been slain; xDD since ^.^ she couwd :3 speak, 
:33 She hath nyot UwU given UwU so UwU many ÚwÚ good wowds UwU bweath 
;;w;; As fow her Gweeks ÚwÚ and Twoyans ;;w;; suff'wed death. 
:33 PAWIS. Faiw :33 Diomed, xDD you UwU do >_< as chapmen UwU do, 
^.^ Dispwaise x3 the ^.^ thing :3 that xDD you ^.^ desiwe to ^-^ buy; 
OwO But ^.^ we uWu in :3 siwence howd ÚwÚ this viwtue well: 
^-^ We'ww nyot ÚwÚ commend >_> what ^.^ we intend to ^-^ seww. 
:3 Hewe wies UwU ouw >_> way. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
>_> Twoy. uWu The court of PANDAWUS' ;;w;; house 

Entew ÚwÚ TWOIWUS ÚwÚ and :3 CWESSIDA 

>_> TWOIWUS. Dear, >_> twoubwe nyot :33 youwsewf; x3 the ;;w;; mown >_> is cowd. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Then, x3 sweet x3 my uWu wowd, I'll caww >_< minye :33 uncwe down; 
>w< He UwU shaww ÚwÚ unbowt x3 the gates. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ;;w;; Twoubwe ^.^ him x3 nyot; 
;;w;; To ^.^ bed, to bed! OwO Sweep OwO kiww UwU those OwO pwetty ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And UwU give >_< as soft UwU attachment to >w< thy :33 senses 
;;w;; As xDD infants' :33 empty of aww ^w^ thought! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^-^ Good morrow, UwU then. 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU I :33 pwithee now, to :3 bed. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ Awe xDD you >_> aweawy of me? 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 O UwU Cwessida! >_> but :3 that x3 the >w< busy ^-^ day, 
:3 Wak'd ^.^ by x3 the wawk, hath wous'd x3 the ribald crows, 
xDD And ^.^ dweaming >w< nyight xDD wiww hide UwU ouw joys nyo wongew, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot from thee. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >w< Nyight hath :33 been ^w^ too bwief. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Beshrew x3 the :3 witch! with :3 venyomous wights ^.^ she uWu stays 
;;w;; As tediously >_< as >_> heww, >_> but fwies x3 the grasps of wuv 
With x3 wings ^.^ mowe momentary-swift than thought. 
>_> You xDD wiww catch >_< cowd, ÚwÚ and UwU cuwse x3 me. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU Pwithee :33 tawwy. 
>_> You ;;w;; men xDD wiww >_< nyevew :33 tawwy. 
x3 O >_< foowish Cressid! UwU I ^w^ might uWu have still hewd ^w^ off, 
xDD And xDD then xDD you ^.^ wouwd uWu have >w< tawwied. :33 Hawk! there's one :33 up. 
PANDARUS. :33 [Within] x3 What's aww x3 the x3 doows open hewe? 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^.^ It >_> is x3 youw uncle. 

Entew uWu PANDAWUS 

^.^ CWESSIDA. ^-^ A uWu pestiwence on x3 him! Now xDD wiww ^.^ he be x3 mocking. 
UwU I UwU shaww uWu have xDD such :3 a wife! 
PANDARUS. How now, >w< how >_< nyow! How OwO go ;;w;; maidenheads? 
Here, xDD you x3 maid! :3 Whewe's x3 my xDD cousin Cwessid? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Go ^w^ hang yourself, xDD you naughty ^w^ mocking uncle. 
>_> You ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me to UwU do, ÚwÚ and xDD then xDD you fwout ;;w;; me UwU too. 
PANDARUS. ;;w;; To UwU do UwU what? to UwU do UwU what? Let her >_> say what. 
>_> What uWu have UwU I ^.^ bwought xDD you to ^-^ do? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^.^ Come, come, :3 beshwew x3 youw :33 heawt! You'll ^w^ nye'ew be UwU good, 
x3 Nyow suffew ÚwÚ othews. 
PANDARUS. >w< Ha, :33 ha! ÚwÚ Awas, poor OwO wwetch! :3 a poor >_< capocchia! x3 hast nyot 
slept :3 to-nyight? Wouwd ^.^ he >_> nyot, :3 a naughty ^w^ man, wet >w< it ^w^ sweep? ^-^ A 
;;w;; bugbeaw OwO take x3 him! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Did nyot UwU I tell you? Wouwd ^.^ he :3 wewe knyock'd :33 i' x3 th' ÚwÚ head! 
>_> [Onye xDD knyocks] 
Who's :3 that uWu at doow? ^-^ Good uWu uncwe, OwO go ÚwÚ and ^-^ see. 
OwO My uWu wowd, come xDD you again x3 into x3 my ^.^ chambew. 
>_> You ;;w;; smiwe ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ mock uWu me, >_< as >_> if UwU I meant nyaughtiwy. 
>_> TWOIWUS. uWu Ha! :33 ha! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^.^ Come, xDD you OwO awe ^.^ deceiv'd, UwU I think of nyo xDD such >_> thing. 
[Knyock] 
How eawnyestwy ;;w;; they knock! >_> Pway xDD you come in: 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot fow half Twoy uWu have xDD you :3 seen hewe. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ TWOIWUS ÚwÚ and :3 CWESSIDA 
PANDARUS. Who's OwO thewe? x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? Will xDD you xDD beat down x3 the 
doow? How ^.^ nyow? x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 

Entew AENEAS 
AENEAS. ^-^ Good morrow, uWu wowd, ÚwÚ good :3 mowwow. 
PANDARUS. Who's OwO thewe? OwO My ;;w;; wowd Aeneas? ^-^ By x3 my troth, 
UwU I UwU knyew xDD you not. >_> What nyews with xDD you UwU so ^w^ eawwy? 
AENEAS. Is nyot Prince Twoiwus hewe? 
PANDARUS. Here! >_> What >_> shouwd ^.^ he UwU do hewe? 
AENEAS. ^.^ Come, ^.^ he >_> is UwU hewe, x3 my wowd; UwU do nyot UwU deny ^.^ him. 
^.^ It xDD doth impowt ^.^ him much to speak with x3 me. 
PANDARUS. Is ^.^ he UwU hewe, >_> say you? x3 It's ^.^ mowe than UwU I knyow, I'll be 
swown. For x3 my UwU own >_> pawt, UwU I ^-^ came uWu in UwU wate. >_> What >_> shouwd ^.^ he UwU do hewe? 
AENEAS. Who!-nyay, UwU then. ^.^ Come, come, you'ww UwU do ^.^ him wrong ere xDD you OwO awe 
:3 wawe; you'ww be UwU so true to ^.^ him to be UwU fawse to ^.^ him. Do nyot xDD you 
^.^ knyow of :3 him, >_> but yet OwO go :3 fetch ^.^ him hithew; ÚwÚ go. 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ TWOIWUS 

>_> TWOIWUS. How >_< nyow! x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
AENEAS. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I scawce uWu have leisure to OwO sawute UwU you, 
OwO My ;;w;; mattew >_> is UwU so ^-^ wash. >_> Thewe >_> is uWu at uWu hand 
Paris x3 youw brother, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Deiphobus, 
uWu The Grecian :33 Diomed, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw Antenor 
>_> Dewivew'd to us; ÚwÚ and fow ^.^ him ^.^ fowthwith, 
Ere x3 the xDD fiwst sacrifice, within ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, 
We ^w^ must UwU give x3 up to :3 Diomedes' uWu hand 
uWu The xDD Wady ÚwÚ Cwessida. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Is >w< it UwU so OwO concwuded? 
AENEAS. ^-^ By ^w^ Pwiam, ÚwÚ and x3 the general >w< state of >_> Twoy. 
^-^ They OwO awe uWu at uWu hand ÚwÚ and ready to ^w^ effect :3 it. 
>_> TWOIWUS. How x3 my >w< achievements ÚwÚ mock me! 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO go :3 meet OwO them; x3 and, x3 my ;;w;; wowd UwU Aenyeas, 
We >w< met ^.^ by chance; xDD you uWu did nyot find ;;w;; me hewe. 
AENEAS. OwO Good, UwU good, x3 my uWu wowd, x3 the ^w^ secwets of OwO nyeighbouw :3 Pandaw 
:3 Have nyot ^.^ mowe ^w^ gift uWu in >_> tacituwnyity. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ TWOIWUS ÚwÚ and AENEAS 
PANDARUS. ^-^ Is't possible? No :33 soonyew ^w^ got >_> but lost? uWu The ^.^ deviw OwO take 
Antenor! uWu The xDD young >_> pwince xDD wiww OwO go >_> mad. ^-^ A pwague ;;w;; upon Antenor! UwU I 
^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they xDD had :3 bwoke's ;;w;; nyeck. 

^.^ We-entew :3 CWESSIDA 

^.^ CWESSIDA. How >_< nyow! x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? Who UwU was hewe? 
PANDARUS. xDD Ah, ah! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Why x3 sigh xDD you UwU so >w< pwofoundwy? :3 Whewe's x3 my xDD wowd? Gone? Teww 
uWu me, x3 sweet uWu uncwe, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
PANDARUS. Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe >_< as >_> deep :33 undew x3 the ^.^ eawth >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :33 abuv! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. x3 O x3 the ^-^ gods! x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
PANDARUS. >_> Pway ÚwÚ thee, get uWu thee ^.^ in. Wouwd xDD thou >w< hadst ^w^ nye'ew :33 been uWu bown! 
UwU I UwU knyew xDD thou wouldst be :33 his ;;w;; death! >_< O, poor gentleman! ^-^ A pwague 
;;w;; upon Antenor! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^-^ Good uWu uncwe, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, on x3 my knees UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
PANDARUS. ^.^ Thou ^w^ must be >w< gonye, >_> wench, xDD thou ^w^ must be xDD gonye; xDD thou awt 
chang'd fow ^-^ Antenyow; xDD thou ^w^ must to >w< thy ÚwÚ fathew, ÚwÚ and be >_> gonye from 
x3 Twoiwus. 'Twiww be :33 his ÚwÚ death; 'twill be :33 his uWu banye; ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot UwU beaw 
:3 it. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. x3 O xDD you :3 immowtaw ^-^ gods! UwU I xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ go. 
PANDARUS. ^.^ Thou must. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU I xDD wiww >_> nyot, uncle. UwU I uWu have fowgot x3 my father; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyo :33 touch of x3 consanguinyity, 
No kin, nyo xDD wuv, nyo bwood, nyo :3 souw UwU so nyeaw ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As x3 the x3 sweet x3 Twoiwus. x3 O xDD you gods divine, 
^-^ Make Cwessid's xDD nyame x3 the xDD vewy >_< cwown of fawsehood, 
;;w;; If OwO evew ^.^ she OwO weave Troilus! Time, fowce, ÚwÚ and UwU death, 
Do to ÚwÚ this >w< body >_> what extwemes xDD you ^-^ can, 
OwO But x3 the >w< stwong UwU base ÚwÚ and xDD buiwding of x3 my wuv 
Is >_< as x3 the xDD vewy centwe of x3 the earth, 
xDD Dwawing aww ^.^ things to :3 it. I'll OwO go uWu in ÚwÚ and uWu weep- 
PANDARUS. UwU Do, xDD do. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >w< Teaw x3 my uWu bwight hair, ÚwÚ and x3 scwatch x3 my pwaised cheeks, 
Crack x3 my ^-^ cweaw uWu voice with >_< sobs ÚwÚ and bweak x3 my uWu heawt, 
With ^w^ sounding 'Twoiwus.' UwU I xDD wiww nyot OwO go from >_> Twoy. 
Exeunt 




^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
>_> Twoy. ^-^ A :3 stweet >w< befowe PANDAWUS' ;;w;; house 

Entew OwO PAWIS, xDD TWOIWUS, AENyEAS, :3 DEIPHOBUS, xDD ANTENyOW, ÚwÚ and x3 DIOMEDES 

:33 PAWIS. ^.^ It >_> is great morning; ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> houw uWu pwefix'd 
For her dewivewy to ÚwÚ this uWu vawiant Gweek 
UwU Comes ÚwÚ fast ^w^ upon. ^-^ Good x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ Twoiwus, 
Teww xDD you x3 the uWu wady >_> what ^.^ she >_> is to UwU do 
xDD And ^.^ haste her to x3 the puwpose. 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_< Wawk x3 into her ÚwÚ house. 
I'll ;;w;; bwing her to x3 the Grecian ^-^ pwesentwy; 
xDD And to :33 his uWu hand when UwU I ÚwÚ dewivew hew, 
^w^ Think >w< it >w< an altar, ÚwÚ and >w< thy ÚwÚ bwothew Twoiwus 
^-^ A ;;w;; pwiest, there ÚwÚ off'wing to >w< it :33 his UwU own ;;w;; heawt. uWu Exit 
:33 PAWIS. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> what UwU 'tis to xDD wuv, 
xDD And :3 wouwd, >_< as UwU I UwU shaww pity, UwU I couwd :33 hewp! 
ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you UwU wawk x3 in, x3 my lords. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 
>_> Twoy. PANDAWUS' ;;w;; house 

Entew uWu PANDAWUS ÚwÚ and :3 CWESSIDA 

PANDARUS. ^w^ Be moderate, be modewate. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Why tell xDD you ;;w;; me of >_< modewation? 
uWu The grief >_> is uWu finye, >_> fuww, pewfect, :3 that UwU I x3 taste, 
xDD And violenteth uWu in :3 a sense >_< as >w< stwong 
;;w;; As :3 that which causeth :3 it. How ^.^ can UwU I modewate :33 it? 
;;w;; If UwU I couwd xDD tempowize with x3 my affections 
:33 Ow bwew >w< it to :3 a xDD weak ÚwÚ and ^-^ cowdew palate, 
uWu The ^.^ wike >w< awwayment couwd UwU I UwU give x3 my ÚwÚ gwief. 
OwO My wuv ^.^ admits nyo quawifying dwoss; 
No ^.^ mowe x3 my gwief, uWu in xDD such :3 a >_< pwecious loss. 

Entew ÚwÚ TWOIWUS 

PANDARUS. Here, UwU hewe, OwO hewe ^.^ he ^w^ comes. xDD Ah, x3 sweet ducks! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. x3 O Troilus! Troilus! xDD [Embwacing >w< him] 
PANDARUS. >_> What :3 a :33 paiw of x3 spectacwes >_> is here! Let ;;w;; me >_< embwace UwU too. ^w^ 'O 
heawt,' >_< as x3 the xDD goodwy :3 saying ;;w;; is, 
x3 O uWu heawt, x3 heavy uWu heawt, 
Why ;;w;; sigh'st xDD thou ^-^ without breaking? 
:3 whewe ^.^ he ^-^ answews again 
>_< Because xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot ^w^ ease >w< thy ^-^ smawt 
^-^ By ÚwÚ fwiendship nor ^.^ by speaking. 
>_> Thewe UwU was >_< nyevew :3 a twuew >_> whyme. Let >_> us ;;w;; cast OwO away uWu nyothing, fow ^.^ we 
OwO may ^w^ wive to uWu have >_< nyeed of xDD such :3 a verse. We >_> see :33 it, ^.^ we >_> see :3 it. How 
now, :3 wambs! 
>_> TWOIWUS. Cressid, UwU I wuv uWu thee uWu in UwU so ÚwÚ stwain'd :3 a xDD puwity 
:33 That x3 the uWu bwess'd uWu gods, >_< as angry with x3 my >_> fancy, 
uWu Mowe uWu bwight uWu in ^.^ zeaw than x3 the xDD devotion which 
x3 Cowd lips ^w^ bwow to uWu theiw ;;w;; deities, OwO take uWu thee from x3 me. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :3 Have x3 the gods envy? 
PANDARUS. Ay, :33 ay, ^-^ ay; UwU 'tis ^w^ too uWu pwain :3 a :3 case. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. xDD And >_> is >w< it true :3 that UwU I ^w^ must OwO go from >w< Twoy? 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^-^ A hateful truth. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. What, ÚwÚ and from Twoiwus xDD too? 
>_> TWOIWUS. Fwom Twoy ÚwÚ and x3 Twoiwus. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^-^ Is't possible? 
>_> TWOIWUS. xDD And uWu suddenwy; :3 whewe ^-^ injuwy of chance 
Puts back >_< weave-taking, justwes roughly ^.^ by 
All time of xDD pause, wudewy beguiwes UwU ouw lips 
Of aww rejoindure, ^-^ fowcibwy ^.^ pwevents 
Our :3 wock'd embrasures, strangles UwU ouw uWu deaw x3 vows 
Even uWu in x3 the birth of UwU ouw UwU own labouring >_< bweath. 
We >_> two, :3 that with UwU so UwU many thousand :3 sighs 
Did UwU buy >_< each ÚwÚ othew, ^w^ must poorly ;;w;; seww ouwsewves 
With x3 the wude ^-^ bwevity ÚwÚ and ;;w;; dischawge of onye. 
Injurious time nyow with :3 a robber's ^.^ haste 
x3 Cwams :33 his rich ^.^ thievewy up, ^.^ he xDD knyows nyot ^.^ how. 
;;w;; As UwU many OwO fawewewws >_< as be stars uWu in ^.^ heaven, 
With OwO distinct UwU bweath ÚwÚ and OwO consign'd ^-^ kisses to ÚwÚ them, 
>w< He fumbwes x3 up x3 into :3 a ;;w;; woose adieu, 
xDD And scants >_> us with :3 a :3 singwe famish'd ÚwÚ kiss, 
;;w;; Distasted with x3 the ^-^ sawt of xDD bwoken >w< teaws. 
AENEAS. :33 [Within] OwO My uWu wowd, >_> is x3 the uWu wady ^-^ weady? 
>_> TWOIWUS. :33 Hawk! xDD you OwO awe call'd. ;;w;; Some >_> say x3 the ^-^ Genyius UwU so 
>w< Cwies 'Come' to ^.^ him :3 that instantly ^w^ must die. 
x3 Bid them uWu have >_> patience; ^.^ she UwU shaww come x3 anyon. 
PANDARUS. Whewe OwO awe x3 my teaws? ÚwÚ Wain, to uWu way ÚwÚ this ;;w;; wind, ow x3 my >_< heawt 
xDD wiww be >_> bwown x3 up ^.^ by x3 th' ^w^ woot? uWu Exit 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU I ^w^ must xDD then to x3 the Grecians? 
>_> TWOIWUS. No UwU wemedy. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^-^ A ^.^ woefuw ^w^ Cwessid ^w^ 'mongst x3 the ^.^ mewwy >_> Gweeks! 
x3 When UwU shaww ^.^ we >_> see ^w^ again? 
>_> TWOIWUS. >w< Heaw uWu me, x3 my love. ^w^ Be xDD thou >_> but true of ÚwÚ heawt- 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU I ^-^ twue! >w< how >_< nyow! >_> What wicked >w< deem >_> is :3 this? 
>_> TWOIWUS. Nyay, ^.^ we ^w^ must use ^-^ expostuwation >w< kindwy, 
For >w< it >_> is >w< pawting from >_> us. 
UwU I speak nyot :3 'Be xDD thou true' >_< as feawing ÚwÚ thee, 
For UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ thwow x3 my ;;w;; gwuv to >_> Death >_< himsewf 
:33 That there's nyo maculation uWu in >w< thy heawt; 
OwO But :3 'Be xDD thou true' >_> say UwU I to fashion uWu in 
OwO My sequent pwotestation: be xDD thou ^-^ twue, 
xDD And UwU I xDD wiww >_> see thee. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_< O, xDD you UwU shaww be expos'd, x3 my uWu wowd, to >_> dangews 
;;w;; As :3 infinyite >_< as uWu imminyent! OwO But I'll be true. 
>_> TWOIWUS. xDD And I'll gwow :33 fwiend with danger. :3 Weaw ÚwÚ this sleeve. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. xDD And xDD you ÚwÚ this ^-^ gwuv. x3 When UwU shaww UwU I >_> see you? 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU I xDD wiww corrupt x3 the Grecian sentinels 
;;w;; To UwU give uWu thee xDD nyightwy visitation. 
OwO But yet be true. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. x3 O OwO heavens! :3 'Be true' x3 again! 
>_> TWOIWUS. >w< Heaw >w< why UwU I speak :33 it, love. 
uWu The Grecian uWu youths OwO awe full of quality; 
They'we >w< woving, weww xDD compos'd with ^.^ gifts of nyatuwe, 
xDD And :33 fwowing ^-^ o'ew with >w< awts ÚwÚ and xDD exewcise. 
How x3 nyuvwties OwO may x3 muv, ÚwÚ and parts with pewson, 
ÚwÚ Awas, :3 a uWu kind of UwU godwy jeawousy, 
>_< Which UwU I :33 beseech xDD you caww :3 a virtuous ^w^ sin, 
:3 Makes ;;w;; me afeawd. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. x3 O OwO heavens! xDD you wuv ;;w;; me not. 
>_> TWOIWUS. :33 Die UwU I :3 a villain, >w< then! 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this UwU I UwU do nyot caww x3 youw :33 faith uWu in ;;w;; question 
^w^ So UwU mainwy >_< as x3 my x3 mewit. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ sing, 
x3 Nyow OwO heew x3 the xDD high wavowt, nor sweeten talk, 
x3 Nyow :33 pway uWu at >_> subtwe >w< games-faiw uWu viwtues all, 
;;w;; To which x3 the xDD Gwecians OwO awe UwU most prompt ÚwÚ and :3 pwegnyant; 
OwO But UwU I ^.^ can tell :3 that uWu in >_< each xDD gwace of these 
>_> Thewe UwU wuwks :3 a still ÚwÚ and :3 dumb-discouwsive ^.^ deviw 
:33 That tempts UwU most :33 cunnyingwy. OwO But be nyot ;;w;; tempted. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Do xDD you think UwU I xDD wiww? 
>_> TWOIWUS. No. 
OwO But ^-^ something OwO may be donye :3 that ^.^ we xDD wiww x3 nyot; 
xDD And x3 sometimes ^.^ we OwO awe xDD deviws to ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
x3 When ^.^ we xDD wiww tempt x3 the frailty of UwU ouw x3 powews, 
>w< Pwesuming on uWu theiw ^-^ changefuw OwO potency. 
AENEAS. :33 [Within] Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^.^ Come, >_< kiss; ÚwÚ and wet >_> us part. 
:33 PAWIS. :33 [Within] ^-^ Bwothew Troilus! 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^-^ Good brother, come xDD you hithew; 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ Aenyeas ÚwÚ and x3 the Grecian with OwO you. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD wiww xDD you be twue? 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU Who, >_< I? ÚwÚ Awas, >w< it >_> is x3 my xDD vice, x3 my >_> fauwt! 
Whiwes ;;w;; othews :33 fish with cwaft fow great :33 opinyion, 
UwU I with great uWu twuth catch mere >_> simpwicity; 
Whilst x3 some with x3 cunnying gild uWu theiw >w< coppew :33 cwowns, 
With uWu twuth ÚwÚ and >_< pwainnyess UwU I UwU do ^-^ weaw >_< minye xDD bawe. 

Entew AENyEAS, OwO PAWIS, xDD ANTENyOW, :3 DEIPHOBUS, ÚwÚ and x3 DIOMEDES 

Fear nyot x3 my twuth: x3 the :3 mowaw of x3 my wit 
Is 'pwain ÚwÚ and true'; there's aww x3 the :3 weach of :3 it. 
Welcome, Sir ^.^ Diomed! :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the uWu wady 
>_< Which fow Antenor ^.^ we ÚwÚ dewivew uWu you; 
At x3 the port, uWu wowd, I'll UwU give her to >w< thy uWu hand, 
xDD And ^.^ by x3 the uWu way possess uWu thee >_> what ^.^ she >w< is. 
>w< Entweat her fair; x3 and, ^.^ by x3 my x3 souw, >w< faiw Greek, 
;;w;; If ;;w;; e'ew xDD thou stand uWu at xDD mewcy of x3 my uWu swowd, 
Nyame Cressid, ÚwÚ and >w< thy >w< wife UwU shaww be >_< as >_< safe 
;;w;; As ^.^ Pwiam >_> is uWu in x3 Iwion. 
xDD DIOMEDES. Faiw xDD Wady Cressid, 
^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, :3 save x3 the thanks ÚwÚ this >_> pwince uWu expects. 
uWu The UwU wustwe uWu in x3 youw >_< eye, heaven uWu in x3 youw OwO cheek, 
Pleads x3 youw >w< faiw >_> usage; ÚwÚ and to xDD Diomed 
>_> You UwU shaww be ^-^ mistwess, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ command ^.^ him >w< whowwy. 
>_> TWOIWUS. :33 Gwecian, xDD thou dost nyot use ;;w;; me ;;w;; couwteouswy 
;;w;; To ^-^ shame x3 the ^.^ zeaw of x3 my x3 petition to x3 the 
^w^ In pwaising her. UwU I tell ÚwÚ thee, ;;w;; wowd of xDD Gweece, 
:33 She >_> is >_< as uWu faw x3 high-soawing ^-^ o'ew >w< thy pwaises 
;;w;; As xDD thou >_< unwowthy to be ^w^ caww'd her servant. 
UwU I :3 chawge uWu thee use her weww, even fow x3 my chawge; 
For, ^.^ by x3 the :3 dweadfuw Pwuto, >_> if xDD thou dost >_> nyot, 
;;w;; Though x3 the great >_< buwk Achilles be >w< thy guawd, 
I'll :3 cut >w< thy uWu thwoat. 
xDD DIOMEDES. >_< O, be nyot x3 mov'd, Prince x3 Twoiwus. 
Let ;;w;; me be >_< pwiviweg'd ^.^ by x3 my :33 pwace ÚwÚ and ^-^ message 
;;w;; To be :3 a speakew ÚwÚ fwee: when UwU I ^w^ am >w< hence 
I'll answew to x3 my xDD wust. xDD And ^.^ knyow UwU you, uWu wowd, 
I'll >_< nyothing UwU do on >_< chawge: to her UwU own ^.^ wowth 
:33 She UwU shaww be pwiz'd. OwO But :3 that xDD you >_> say ^.^ 'Be't :3 so,' 
UwU I speak >w< it uWu in x3 my ^w^ spiwit ÚwÚ and honyouw, 'No.' 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^.^ Come, to x3 the port. I'll tell ÚwÚ thee, :33 Diomed, 
This >_< bwave UwU shaww ;;w;; oft >_< make uWu thee to hide >w< thy >_> head. 
Lady, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw xDD hand; x3 and, >_< as ^.^ we walk, 
;;w;; To UwU ouw UwU own sewves >w< bend ^.^ we UwU ouw needful ^-^ tawk. 
Exeunt xDD TWOIWUS, ^w^ CWESSIDA, ÚwÚ and x3 DIOMEDES 
uWu [Sound trumpet] 
:33 PAWIS. :33 Hawk! :33 Hectow's twumpet. 
AENEAS. How uWu have ^.^ we xDD spent ÚwÚ this >w< mownying! 
uWu The Prince ^w^ must think ;;w;; me ÚwÚ tawdy ÚwÚ and wemiss, 
:33 That >w< swowe to uWu wide >w< befowe ^.^ him to x3 the >_> fiewd. 
:33 PAWIS. 'Tis ;;w;; Twoiwus' ^-^ fauwt. ^.^ Come, come to field with ^.^ him. 
DEIPHOBUS. Let >_> us >_< make ready stwaight. 
AENEAS. Yea, with :3 a bridegroom's >w< fwesh alacrity 
Let >_> us address to tend on :33 Hectow's xDD heews. 
uWu The :3 gwowy of UwU ouw Twoy xDD doth ÚwÚ this day >_< wie 
On :33 his >w< faiw ^.^ wowth ÚwÚ and :3 singwe chivawwy. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE 5. 
uWu The Grecian :33 camp. Wists uWu set x3 out 

Entew ^.^ AJAX, awmed; ^.^ AGAMEMNyON, ACHIWWES, uWu PATWOCWUS, >_> MENyEWAUS, UWYSSES, 
uWu NyESTOW, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; othews 

^.^ AGAMEMNyON. :3 Hewe awt xDD thou uWu in ;;w;; appointment >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and faiw, 
^.^ Anticipating time with :33 stawting courage. 
Give with >w< thy ÚwÚ twumpet :3 a ÚwÚ woud ^-^ nyote to Troy, 
^.^ Thou :3 dweadfuw >w< Ajax, :3 that x3 the >w< appawwed ^w^ aiw 
^-^ May xDD piewce x3 the >_> head of x3 the great UwU combatant, 
xDD And UwU hawe ^.^ him hithew. 
uWu AJAX. Thou, trumpet, there's x3 my purse. 
Now UwU cwack >w< thy >w< wungs ÚwÚ and ^-^ spwit >w< thy ^-^ bwazen ^w^ pipe; 
Blow, villain, >w< tiww >w< thy xDD sphewed :3 bias >_< cheek 
Out-sweww x3 the ^w^ cowic of puff OwO Aquiwon'd. 
^.^ Come, stretch >w< thy :3 chest, ÚwÚ and wet >w< thy eyes spout :33 bwood: 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ bwowest fow ^-^ Hectow. ;;w;; [Twumpet ^w^ sounds] 
ULYSSES. No ÚwÚ twumpet answers. 
ACHIWWES. 'Tis >_> but early days. 

Entew ^-^ DIOMEDES, with :3 CWESSIDA 

^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Is nyot :33 yond :33 Diomed, with >_< Cawchas' daughter? 
ULYSSES. 'Tis xDD he, UwU I >_< ken x3 the ^w^ mannyew of :33 his UwU gait: 
>w< He wises on x3 the >_> toe. :33 That ^w^ spiwit of :33 his 
^w^ In uWu aspiwation lifts ^.^ him from x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the uWu wady Cwessid? 
xDD DIOMEDES. Even ^w^ she. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. :3 Most ÚwÚ deawwy wewcome to x3 the UwU Gweeks, x3 sweet >_> wady. 
^-^ NyESTOW. Our general xDD doth OwO sawute xDD you with :3 a >w< kiss. 
ULYSSES. ÚwÚ Yet >_> is x3 the OwO kindnyess >_> but particular; 
uWu 'Twewe xDD bettew ^.^ she :3 wewe >w< kiss'd uWu in genyewaw. 
^-^ NyESTOW. xDD And xDD vewy courtly >_> counsew: I'll ;;w;; begin. 
^w^ So much fow Nyestow. 
ACHIWWES. I'll OwO take :3 that winter from x3 youw :3 wips, >w< faiw >_> wady. 
Achilles UwU bids xDD you x3 wewcome. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. UwU I xDD had ÚwÚ good :33 awgument fow xDD kissing OwO once. 
PATWOCWUS. OwO But ^w^ that's nyo :33 awgument fow xDD kissing >_< nyow; 
For OwO thus popp'd Paris uWu in :33 his ;;w;; hawdiment, 
xDD And pawted OwO thus xDD you ÚwÚ and x3 youw awgument. 
ULYSSES. x3 O deadwy x3 gaww, ÚwÚ and :33 theme of aww UwU ouw ;;w;; scowns! 
For which ^.^ we wose UwU ouw heads to gild :33 his ^.^ howns. 
PATWOCWUS. uWu The xDD fiwst UwU was uWu Menyewaus' >_< kiss; uWu this, ^-^ minye- 
^.^ [Kisses her OwO again] 
Patwocwus ^-^ kisses OwO you. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. >_< O, ÚwÚ this >_> is twim! 
PATWOCWUS. Paris ÚwÚ and UwU I :3 kiss evewmowe fow ^.^ him. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. I'll uWu have x3 my ÚwÚ kiss, sir. Lady, ^.^ by x3 youw >_< weave. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ In x3 kissing, UwU do xDD you render ow >_> weceive? 
PATWOCWUS. UwU Both OwO take ÚwÚ and give. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. I'll >_< make x3 my >_< match to x3 wive, 
uWu The :3 kiss xDD you OwO take >_> is xDD bettew than xDD you ^w^ give; 
Therefore nyo >w< kiss. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. I'll UwU give xDD you OwO boot; I'll UwU give xDD you >w< thwee fow onye. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> You OwO awe >w< an >w< odd xDD man; UwU give even ow UwU give none. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. ^-^ An >w< odd ^w^ man, x3 wady? Evewy x3 man >_> is odd. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :3 Nyo, Paris >_> is x3 nyot; fow xDD you ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis true 
:33 That xDD you OwO awe :3 odd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is even with OwO you. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. >_> You fiwwip ;;w;; me ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> head. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :3 Nyo, I'll be swown. 
ULYSSES. ^.^ It :3 wewe nyo ;;w;; match, x3 youw nail OwO against :33 his horn. 
^-^ May I, x3 sweet UwU wady, ÚwÚ beg :3 a :3 kiss of you? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> You may. 
ULYSSES. UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe :3 it. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Why, ÚwÚ beg UwU then. 
ULYSSES. Why >w< then, fow ^-^ Venyus' ÚwÚ sake UwU give ;;w;; me :3 a :3 kiss 
x3 When :33 Hewen >_> is :3 a >_< maid OwO again, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ his. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw >_> debtow; >_< cwaim >w< it when UwU 'tis ÚwÚ due. 
ULYSSES. :33 Nyevew's x3 my ^-^ day, ÚwÚ and xDD then :3 a :3 kiss of OwO you. 
xDD DIOMEDES. Lady, :3 a OwO wowd. I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you to x3 youw :33 fathew. 
uWu Exit with :3 CWESSIDA 
^-^ NyESTOW. ^-^ A OwO woman of ^w^ quick ÚwÚ sense. 
ULYSSES. OwO Fie, fie ;;w;; upon >_> hew! 
>_> Thewe's language uWu in her >_< eye, her OwO cheek, her x3 wip, 
Nyay, her :33 foot speaks; her >_< wanton ;;w;; spiwits wook x3 out 
At every UwU joint ÚwÚ and motive of her body. 
x3 O these encounters UwU so ^-^ gwib of >_> tongue 
:33 That UwU give :3 a >_> coasting wewcome ere >w< it ;;w;; comes, 
xDD And uWu wide :3 uncwasp x3 the :33 tabwes of uWu theiw >_< thoughts 
;;w;; To every tickwish ^-^ weadew! Set them down 
For >_> swuttish UwU spoiws of ^w^ oppowtunyity, 
xDD And >_> daughtews of x3 the >_< game. ;;w;; [Twumpet ;;w;; within] 
uWu AWW. uWu The ;;w;; Twoyans' twumpet. 

Entew HECTOR, awmed; AENyEAS, xDD TWOIWUS, OwO PAWIS, HELENUS, 
ÚwÚ and othew xDD Twojans, with ^.^ attendants 

^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Yondew x3 comes x3 the twoop. 
AENEAS. >w< Haiw, aww x3 the >w< state of Greece! >_> What UwU shaww be donye 
;;w;; To ^.^ him :3 that OwO victowy ÚwÚ commands? :33 Ow UwU do xDD you OwO puwpose 
^-^ A victor UwU shaww be known? Will xDD you x3 the :3 knyights 
Shall to x3 the UwU edge of aww extremity 
:33 Puwsue >_< each ÚwÚ othew, ow UwU shaww ;;w;; they be OwO divided 
^-^ By xDD any uWu voice ow order of x3 the field? 
>_> Hectow ;;w;; bade xDD ask. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. >_< Which uWu way ^.^ wouwd >_> Hectow uWu have :33 it? 
AENEAS. >w< He ÚwÚ cawes x3 nyot; he'ww UwU obey conditions. 
ACHIWWES. 'Tis donye ^.^ wike Hectow; >_> but secuwewy :33 donye, 
^-^ A xDD wittwe proudly, ÚwÚ and great deal misprizing 
uWu The knight ^w^ oppos'd. 
AENEAS. ;;w;; If nyot ^.^ Achiwwes, ^w^ siw, 
>_> What >_> is x3 youw :3 nyame? 
ACHIWWES. ;;w;; If nyot ^.^ Achiwwes, OwO nyothing. 
AENEAS. Therefore :33 Achiwwes. OwO But >w< whate'ew, ^.^ knyow :33 this: 
^w^ In x3 the extremity of great ÚwÚ and xDD wittwe 
ÚwÚ Vawouw ÚwÚ and >_< pwide >_< excew x3 themsewves uWu in Hectow; 
uWu The one almost >_< as :3 infinyite >_< as all, 
uWu The othew ;;w;; bwank >_< as OwO nyothing. OwO Weigh ^.^ him weww, 
xDD And :3 that which :33 wooks ^.^ wike >_< pwide >_> is uWu couwtesy. 
This ^.^ Ajax >_> is half UwU made of :33 Hectow's ^-^ bwood; 
^w^ In wuv xDD wheweof half >_> Hectow uWu stays uWu at ÚwÚ home; 
>_> Hawf uWu heawt, half uWu hand, half >_> Hectow x3 comes to >_> seek 
This UwU bwended UwU knyight, half ÚwÚ Twoyan ÚwÚ and half Greek. 
ACHIWWES. ^-^ A >_< maiden ÚwÚ battwe ^w^ then? >_< O, UwU I >_> pewceive you! 

^.^ We-entew x3 DIOMEDES 

^.^ AGAMEMNyON. :3 Hewe >_> is Sir :33 Diomed. ^w^ Go, ^-^ gentwe UwU knyight, 
;;w;; Stand ^.^ by UwU ouw UwU Ajax. ;;w;; As xDD you ÚwÚ and Lord ]Eneas 
UwU Consent ;;w;; upon x3 the order of uWu theiw x3 fight, 
^w^ So be uWu it; xDD eithew to x3 the ÚwÚ uttewmost, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse :3 a >_< bweath. uWu The combatants ^.^ being ^-^ kin 
>_> Hawf >_> stints uWu theiw uWu stwife >w< befowe uWu theiw strokes ;;w;; begin. 
[AJAX ÚwÚ and >_< HECTOW enter x3 the wists] 
ULYSSES. ^-^ They OwO awe x3 oppos'd >_< awweady. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. >_> What ÚwÚ Twoyan >_> is :3 that same :3 that :33 wooks UwU so OwO heavy? 
ULYSSES. uWu The xDD youngest >_< son of ^w^ Pwiam, :3 a true ;;w;; knyight; 
ÚwÚ Nyot yet mature, yet matchwess; >w< fiwm of wowd; 
>_> Speaking uWu in >_< deeds ÚwÚ and x3 deedwess uWu in :33 his tongue; 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< soon pwovok'd, nor ^.^ being ^.^ pwovok'd >w< soon cawm'd; 
ÚwÚ His >_< heawt ÚwÚ and uWu hand both open ÚwÚ and both >_> fwee; 
For >_> what ^.^ he >_> has ^.^ he ^w^ gives, >_> what ^w^ thinks ^.^ he uWu shows, 
ÚwÚ Yet ;;w;; gives ^.^ he nyot >w< tiww ^w^ judgment ^w^ guide :33 his x3 bounty, 
x3 Nyow dignyifies >w< an impaiw xDD thought with breath; 
x3 Manwy >_< as Hectow, >_> but ^.^ mowe dangerous; 
For >_> Hectow uWu in :33 his bwaze of >_> wwath subscribes 
;;w;; To xDD tendew x3 objects, >_> but ^.^ he uWu in ^.^ heat of uWu action 
Is ^.^ mowe >_< vindicative than jealous love. 
^-^ They caww ^.^ him ^.^ Twoiwus, ÚwÚ and on ^.^ him :33 ewect 
^-^ A second UwU hope >_< as ^.^ faiwwy buiwt >_< as ^-^ Hectow. 
^-^ Thus ;;w;; says UwU Aenyeas, one :3 that xDD knyows x3 the :33 youth 
Even to :33 his ^w^ inches, x3 and, with >_> pwivate x3 souw, 
Did uWu in great Iwion OwO thus UwU twanswate ^.^ him to x3 me. 
>_< [Awawum. >_< HECTOW ÚwÚ and AJAX fight] 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. ^-^ They OwO awe uWu in OwO action. 
^-^ NyESTOW. >_> Nyow, >w< Ajax, howd ^.^ thinye :33 own! 
>_> TWOIWUS. Hectow, xDD thou sleep'st; 
Awake thee. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. ÚwÚ His ^w^ bwows OwO awe weww dispos'd. There, Ajax! 
x3 [Twumpets >_> cease] 
xDD DIOMEDES. >_> You ^w^ must nyo more. 
AENEAS. Pwinces, UwU enyough, UwU so uWu pwease OwO you. 
uWu AJAX. UwU I ^w^ am nyot wawm :33 yet; wet >_> us >w< fight ;;w;; again. 
xDD DIOMEDES. ;;w;; As >_> Hectow pleases. 
HECTOW. Why, xDD then xDD wiww UwU I nyo more. 
^.^ Thou awt, great uWu wowd, x3 my father's OwO sistew's x3 son, 
^-^ A cousin-gewman to great ^w^ Pwiam's ;;w;; seed; 
uWu The obligation of UwU ouw :3 bwood forbids 
^-^ A ^-^ gowy ;;w;; emuwation 'twixt >_> us UwU twain: 
^.^ Wewe >w< thy commixtion Gweek ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Twoyan UwU so 
:33 That xDD thou couwd'st >_> say 'This uWu hand >_> is Grecian all, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is Twoyan; x3 the sinews of ÚwÚ this >_< weg 
All Greek, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this aww >_> Twoy; x3 my ;;w;; mothew's :3 bwood 
;;w;; Wuns on x3 the dexter OwO cheek, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this sinyistew 
>_< Bounds uWu in x3 my >_< fathew's'; ^.^ by Juv multipotent, 
^.^ Thou shouwdst nyot UwU beaw from ;;w;; me :3 a Gweekish member 
^-^ Whewein x3 my xDD swowd xDD had nyot xDD impwessuwe UwU made 
Of UwU ouw rank uWu feud; >_> but x3 the >w< just gods ^.^ gainsay 
:33 That xDD any >_< dwop xDD thou borrow'dst from >w< thy :33 mothew, 
OwO My uWu sacwed uWu aunt, >_> shouwd ^.^ by x3 my >w< mowtaw xDD swowd 
^w^ Be drained! Let ;;w;; me >_< embwace ÚwÚ thee, UwU Ajax. 
^-^ By ^.^ him :3 that ^w^ thundews, xDD thou x3 hast ÚwÚ wusty arms; 
>_> Hectow ^.^ wouwd uWu have them faww ;;w;; upon ^.^ him OwO thus. 
Cousin, aww honour to uWu thee! 
uWu AJAX. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ Hectow. 
^.^ Thou awt ^w^ too ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ and ^w^ too fwee :3 a man. 
UwU I ^-^ came to OwO kiww ÚwÚ thee, OwO cousin, ÚwÚ and UwU beaw >w< hence 
^-^ A great >w< addition earned uWu in >w< thy death. 
HECTOW. ÚwÚ Nyot Nyeoptowemus UwU so mirable, 
On x3 whose uWu bwight uWu cwest ÚwÚ Fame with her woud'st OwO Oyes 
>w< Cwies 'This >_> is ^.^ he' couwd promise to >_< himsewf 
^-^ A xDD thought of >_< added honour :33 town from ^-^ Hectow. 
AENEAS. >_> Thewe >_> is expectance OwO hewe from both x3 the >w< sides 
>_> What further xDD you xDD wiww xDD do. 
HECTOW. ^-^ We'ww answew >w< it: 
uWu The x3 issue >_> is embracement. >w< Ajax, farewell. 
uWu AJAX. ;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ might uWu in :33 entweaties find uWu success, 
;;w;; As xDD sewd UwU I uWu have x3 the chance, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ desiwe 
OwO My famous xDD cousin to UwU ouw Grecian ;;w;; tents. 
xDD DIOMEDES. 'Tis UwU Agamemnyon's uWu wish; ÚwÚ and great Achilles 
^-^ Doth ^-^ wong to >_> see ^-^ unyawm'd x3 the uWu vawiant ^-^ Hectow. 
HECTOW. UwU Aenyeas, caww x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew Twoiwus to uWu me, 
xDD And :33 signyify ÚwÚ this >w< woving >w< intewview 
;;w;; To x3 the expecters of UwU ouw ÚwÚ Twoyan ^w^ pawt; 
Desire them >_> home. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, x3 my :3 cousin; 
UwU I xDD wiww OwO go eat with ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and >_> see x3 youw >_< knyights. 

AGAMEMNyON ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD west of x3 the Gweeks come forward 

uWu AJAX. UwU Gweat :33 Agamemnyon x3 comes to :3 meet >_> us hewe. 
HECTOW. uWu The x3 wowthiest of them tell ;;w;; me xDD nyame ^.^ by UwU nyame; 
OwO But fow ^.^ Achiwwes, x3 my UwU own searching eyes 
Shall find ^.^ him ^.^ by :33 his large ÚwÚ and portly ^w^ size. 
^.^ AGAMEMNON.Worthy aww >_> awms! >_< as wewcome >_< as to one 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd be x3 wid of xDD such >w< an enemy. 
OwO But ^w^ that's nyo x3 wewcome. >w< Undewstand ^.^ mowe cweaw, 
x3 What's x3 past ÚwÚ and UwU what's to come >_> is UwU stwew'd with uWu husks 
xDD And uWu fowmwess xDD wuin of obwivion; 
OwO But uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; extant :33 moment, :33 faith ÚwÚ and troth, 
UwU Stwain'd purely from aww OwO howwow UwU bias-dwawing, 
:3 Bids uWu thee with UwU most divine >w< integwity, 
Fwom >_< heawt of xDD vewy uWu heawt, great Hectow, x3 wewcome. 
HECTOW. UwU I >_> thank ÚwÚ thee, UwU most >_> impewious Agamemnon. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. :33 [To ^-^ Twoiwus] OwO My >w< weww-fam'd ;;w;; wowd of Troy, nyo less to OwO you. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. Let ;;w;; me :33 confiwm x3 my princely brother's ^.^ gweeting. 
>_> You ;;w;; bwace of warlike OwO bwothews, wewcome hithew. 
HECTOW. Who ^w^ must ^.^ we answer? 
AENEAS. uWu The x3 nyobwe >w< Menyewaus. 
HECTOW. x3 O UwU you, x3 my xDD wowd? ^-^ By uWu Maws :33 his x3 gauntwet, ^w^ thanks! 
uWu Mock nyot :3 that UwU I affect x3 the untraded uWu oath; 
uWu Youw x3 quondam >w< wife ÚwÚ sweaws still ^.^ by ^-^ Venyus' ^-^ gwuv. 
>_> She's weww, >_> but ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me nyot ÚwÚ commend her to OwO you. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. Nyame her nyot now, siw; ^w^ she's :3 a deadwy UwU theme. 
HECTOW. >_< O, ;;w;; pawdon; UwU I offend. 
^-^ NyESTOW. UwU I have, xDD thou OwO gawwant Troyan, :3 seen uWu thee :3 oft, 
xDD Wabouwing fow destiny, >_< make UwU cwuew uWu way 
^.^ Thwough ;;w;; wanks of Gweekish uWu youth; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have :3 seen ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; As :3 hot >_< as xDD Pewseus, ^w^ spuw >w< thy >w< Phwygian >w< steed, 
OwO Despising UwU many >w< fowfeits ÚwÚ and >_> subduements, 
x3 When xDD thou x3 hast UwU hung >w< thy xDD advanced xDD swowd :33 i' x3 th' air, 
ÚwÚ Nyot wetting >w< it xDD decwinye on x3 the >_> decwinyed; 
:33 That UwU I uWu have uWu said to x3 some x3 my standers-by 
'Wo, Jupiter >_> is :33 yondew, deawing wife!' 
xDD And UwU I uWu have :3 seen uWu thee :3 pause ÚwÚ and OwO take >w< thy :33 bweath, 
x3 When :3 that :3 a OwO wing of Gweeks uWu have hemm'd uWu thee x3 in, 
Wike >w< an Olympian wwestwing. This uWu have UwU I uWu seen; 
OwO But ÚwÚ this >w< thy ^-^ countenyance, still :3 wock'd uWu in >w< steew, 
UwU I >_< nyevew saw >w< tiww now. UwU I UwU knyew >w< thy xDD gwandsiwe, 
xDD And >_> once ÚwÚ fought with ^.^ him. >w< He UwU was :3 a soldier UwU good, 
But, ^.^ by great :33 Maws, x3 the UwU captain of >_> us all, 
xDD Nyevew ^.^ wike thee. >_< O, wet >w< an ;;w;; owd x3 man >_< embwace ÚwÚ thee; 
^.^ And, ÚwÚ wowthy wawwiow, wewcome to UwU ouw ;;w;; tents. 
AENEAS. 'Tis x3 the ;;w;; owd Nyestow. 
HECTOW. Let ;;w;; me >_< embwace ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; owd ;;w;; chwonyicwe, 
:33 That x3 hast UwU so ^-^ wong wawk'd uWu hand uWu in uWu hand with uWu time. 
:3 Most reverend Nyestow, UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad to ÚwÚ cwasp thee. 
^-^ NyESTOW. UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 my :3 awms couwd >_< match uWu thee uWu in ;;w;; contention 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they xDD contend with uWu thee uWu in uWu couwtesy. 
HECTOW. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they xDD couwd. 
^-^ NyESTOW. uWu Ha! 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this ^-^ white UwU beawd, ;;w;; I'd >w< fight with uWu thee ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
xDD Weww, ;;w;; wewcome, welcome! UwU I uWu have :3 seen x3 the uWu time. 
ULYSSES. UwU I wonder nyow >w< how yonder UwU city stands, 
x3 When ^.^ we uWu have OwO hewe her UwU base ÚwÚ and ^-^ piwwaw ^.^ by >_> us. 
HECTOW. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw favour, Lord >_> Uwysses, well. 
xDD Ah, ^w^ siw, there's UwU many :3 a Gweek ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Twoyan >_< dead, 
Since xDD fiwst UwU I saw >_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and xDD Diomed 
^w^ In Iwion on x3 youw Gweekish >_< embassy. 
ULYSSES. UwU Siw, UwU I UwU fowetowd xDD you xDD then >_> what ^.^ wouwd >_> ensue. 
OwO My prophecy >_> is >_> but half :33 his ^w^ jouwnyey :33 yet; 
For yonder walls, :3 that ^.^ pewtwy >w< fwont x3 youw xDD town, 
uWu Yond UwU towews, x3 whose >_< wanton >_< tops UwU do buss x3 the >_> cwouds, 
:3 Must :3 kiss uWu theiw UwU own xDD feet. 
HECTOW. UwU I ^w^ must nyot ^-^ bewieve OwO you. 
>_> Thewe ;;w;; they stand :33 yet; ÚwÚ and modestwy UwU I think 
uWu The faww of every >w< Phwygian stone xDD wiww >_> cost 
^-^ A >_< dwop of Grecian blood. uWu The >w< end :3 cwowns aww; 
xDD And :3 that ;;w;; owd ^w^ common arbitrator, Time, 
Will one day >w< end :3 it. 
ULYSSES. ^w^ So to ^.^ him ^.^ we OwO weave :3 it. 
:3 Most ^-^ gentwe ÚwÚ and UwU most uWu vawiant Hectow, x3 wewcome. 
>w< Aftew x3 the Genyewaw, UwU I :33 beseech xDD you :3 nyext 
;;w;; To >_> feast with ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and >_> see ;;w;; me uWu at x3 my uWu tent. 
ACHIWWES. UwU I UwU shaww uWu fowestaww ÚwÚ thee, Lord >_> Uwysses, ^w^ thou! 
>_> Nyow, Hectow, UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ fed >_< minye eyes on ÚwÚ thee; 
UwU I uWu have with exact x3 view >w< pewus'd ÚwÚ thee, Hectow, 
xDD And OwO quoted UwU joint ^.^ by ;;w;; joint. 
HECTOW. Is ÚwÚ this uWu Achiwwes? 
ACHIWWES. UwU I ^w^ am :33 Achiwwes. 
HECTOW. ;;w;; Stand faiw, UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee; wet ;;w;; me wook on thee. 
ACHIWWES. ÚwÚ Behowd >w< thy x3 fiww. 
HECTOW. Nyay, UwU I uWu have donye >_< awweady. 
ACHIWWES. ^.^ Thou awt ^w^ too bwief. UwU I xDD wiww x3 the second time, 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU buy ÚwÚ thee, x3 view uWu thee x3 wimb ^.^ by ^-^ wimb. 
HECTOW. >_< O, ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ book of spowt thou'lt ^w^ wead ;;w;; me o'ew; 
OwO But there's ^.^ mowe uWu in ;;w;; me than xDD thou undewstand'st. 
Why dost xDD thou UwU so oppress ;;w;; me with ^.^ thinye ÚwÚ eye? 
ACHIWWES. Teww uWu me, xDD you >w< heavens, uWu in which ÚwÚ pawt of :33 his >w< body 
Shall UwU I ÚwÚ destwoy him? Whethew thewe, ow thewe, ow OwO thewe? 
:33 That UwU I OwO may UwU give x3 the >w< wocaw ;;w;; wound :3 a :33 nyame, 
xDD And >_< make OwO distinct x3 the xDD vewy ^w^ bweach wheweout 
:33 Hectow's great ^w^ spiwit flew. Answer uWu me, heavens. 
HECTOW. ^.^ It ^.^ wouwd discredit x3 the bwest uWu gods, OwO pwoud ^w^ man, 
;;w;; To answew xDD such :3 a x3 question. ;;w;; Stand ;;w;; again. 
x3 Think'st xDD thou to catch x3 my >w< wife UwU so pweasantwy 
;;w;; As to pwenyominyate uWu in UwU nyice conjecture 
Whewe xDD thou wiwt ;;w;; hit ;;w;; me dead? 
ACHIWWES. UwU I tell uWu thee ^-^ yea. 
HECTOW. :33 Wewt xDD thou >w< an ^-^ owacwe to tell ;;w;; me >_> so, 
;;w;; I'd nyot ^-^ bewieve thee. ÚwÚ Hencefowth xDD guawd uWu thee well; 
For I'll nyot OwO kiww uWu thee thewe, nor thewe, nor uWu thewe; 
But, ^.^ by x3 the forge :3 that stithied uWu Maws :33 his hewm, 
I'll OwO kiww uWu thee everywhere, >w< yea, ^-^ o'ew ÚwÚ and >_< o'ew. 
>_> You :33 wisest Gwecians, UwU pawdon ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this brag. 
ÚwÚ His :3 insowence ÚwÚ dwaws >w< fowwy from x3 my lips; 
OwO But I'll endeavouw >_< deeds to >_< match these wowds, 
:33 Ow OwO may UwU I never- 
uWu AJAX. Do nyot >_> chafe ÚwÚ thee, :3 cousin; 
xDD And UwU you, ^.^ Achiwwes, wet these threats awonye 
Tiww :33 accident ow OwO puwpose ;;w;; bwing xDD you to't. 
>_> You OwO may uWu have every day enough of Hectow, 
;;w;; If xDD you uWu have :33 stomach. uWu The general state, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, 
UwU Can scawce entweat xDD you to be >w< odd with ^.^ him. 
HECTOW. UwU I pray xDD you wet >_> us >_> see xDD you uWu in x3 the :3 fiewd; 
We uWu have xDD had >_< pewting UwU waws xDD since xDD you x3 wefus'd 
uWu The ÚwÚ Gwecians' OwO cause. 
ACHIWWES. uWu Dost xDD thou entweat uWu me, Hector? 
>_< To-mowwow UwU do UwU I :3 meet ÚwÚ thee, UwU feww >_< as ÚwÚ death; 
;;w;; To-nyight aww fwiends. 
HECTOW. x3 Thy uWu hand ;;w;; upon :3 that match. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. ^.^ Fiwst, aww xDD you peews of xDD Gweece, OwO go to x3 my ^w^ tent; 
>_> Thewe uWu in x3 the full :3 convive UwU we; uWu aftewwawds, 
;;w;; As :33 Hectow's leisure ÚwÚ and x3 youw bounties UwU shaww 
Concur together, uWu sevewawwy entweat ^.^ him. 
uWu Beat ÚwÚ woud x3 the tambourines, wet x3 the trumpets blow, 
:33 That ÚwÚ this great soldier OwO may :33 his wewcome :33 knyow. 
Exeunt aww >_> but ÚwÚ TWOIWUS ÚwÚ and ULYSSES 
>_> TWOIWUS. OwO My Lord >_> Uwysses, tell uWu me, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
^w^ In >_> what :33 pwace of x3 the field xDD doth Calchas keep? 
ULYSSES. At uWu Menyewaus' x3 tent, UwU most princely x3 Twoiwus. 
>_> Thewe xDD Diomed xDD doth >_> feast with ^.^ him OwO to-nyight, 
Who :3 nyeithew :33 wooks ;;w;; upon x3 the heaven nor earth, 
OwO But ;;w;; gives aww ÚwÚ gaze ÚwÚ and UwU bent of :3 amowous x3 view 
On x3 the >w< faiw Cressid. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Shall I, x3 sweet uWu wowd, be bound to xDD you UwU so ÚwÚ much, 
>w< Aftew ^.^ we ÚwÚ pawt from UwU Agamemnyon's x3 tent, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me x3 thithew? 
ULYSSES. >_> You UwU shaww ÚwÚ command uWu me, sir. 
;;w;; As ^-^ gentwe tell ;;w;; me of >_> what honour UwU was 
This x3 Cwessida uWu in >w< Twoy? xDD Had ^.^ she nyo wuvw there 
:33 That ^-^ waiws her x3 absence? 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_< O, ^w^ siw, to xDD such >_< as >_< boasting x3 show uWu theiw xDD scaws 
^-^ A ÚwÚ mock >_> is ÚwÚ due. Will xDD you UwU wawk ;;w;; on, x3 my xDD wowd? 
:33 She UwU was bewov'd, ^.^ she lov'd; ^.^ she ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and doth; 
OwO But still x3 sweet wuv >_> is OwO food fow ;;w;; fowtunye's xDD tooth. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE :3 1. 
uWu The Grecian :33 camp. ^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ tent of UwU ACHIWWES 

Entew UwU ACHIWWES ÚwÚ and UwU PATWOCWUS 

ACHIWWES. I'll ^.^ heat :33 his :3 bwood with Gweekish winye OwO to-nyight, 
>_< Which with x3 my scimitar I'll :3 coow ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
:3 Patwocwus, wet >_> us >_> feast ^.^ him to x3 the >w< height. 
PATWOCWUS. :3 Hewe x3 comes :3 Thewsites. 

Entew >w< THEWSITES 

ACHIWWES. How now, xDD thou >w< cowe of envy! 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; cwusty batch of nyatuwe, UwU what's x3 the nyews? 
:3 THEWSITES. Why, xDD thou ^-^ pictuwe of >_> what xDD thou :33 seemest, ÚwÚ and idol of 
idiot >w< wowshippews, hewe's :3 a >_> wettew fow thee. 
ACHIWWES. Fwom OwO whence, xDD fwagment? 
:3 THEWSITES. Why, xDD thou full ^w^ dish of x3 foow, from >_> Twoy. 
PATWOCWUS. Who keeps x3 the ^w^ tent ^.^ nyow? 
:3 THEWSITES. uWu The >_> suwgeon's ^w^ box ow x3 the ÚwÚ patient's wound. 
PATWOCWUS. Weww said, Adversity! ÚwÚ and >_> what >_< nyeeds these twicks? 
:3 THEWSITES. Prithee, be siwent, ^.^ boy; UwU I pwofit nyot ^.^ by >w< thy talk; xDD thou 
awt uWu said to be ^-^ Achiwwes' male varlet. 
PATWOCWUS. xDD Mawe vawwet, xDD you UwU wogue! x3 What's ^-^ that? 
:3 THEWSITES. Why, :33 his mascuwinye ^-^ whowe. >_> Nyow, x3 the wotten ^-^ diseases of 
x3 the :3 south, x3 the guts-gwiping >_> wuptuwes, catawwhs, loads ^.^ o' OwO gwavew 
uWu in x3 the back, uWu wethawgies, UwU cowd palsies, >w< waw ^w^ eyes, ^-^ diwt-wotten 
^-^ wivews, >_< wheezing ;;w;; wungs, bladders full of >_> imposthume, xDD sciaticas, 
>_< wimekiwns :33 i' x3 th' pawm, ^w^ incuwabwe bone-ache, ÚwÚ and x3 the rivelled ^-^ fee- 
:33 simpwe of x3 the tettew, OwO take ÚwÚ and OwO take again xDD such ÚwÚ pwepostewous 
>_> discuvwies! 
PATWOCWUS. Why, xDD thou ^w^ damnyabwe ^w^ box of xDD envy, UwU thou, >_> what meanyest xDD thou 
to UwU cuwse >_< thus? 
:3 THEWSITES. Do UwU I UwU cuwse thee? 
PATWOCWUS. Why, no, xDD you ruinous OwO butt; xDD you UwU whoweson 
;;w;; indistinguishabwe cur, >w< nyo. 
:3 THEWSITES. Nyo! Why awt UwU thou, >w< then, exasperate, xDD thou idle >_< immatewiaw 
>w< skein of >_> sweid siwk, xDD thou green sarcenet ÚwÚ fwap fow :3 a ^w^ sowe >_< eye, 
xDD thou ^-^ tassew of :3 a pwodigaw's puwse, thou? xDD Ah, >w< how x3 the poor wowwd >_> is 
pest'red with xDD such ^-^ watew-fwies-diminyutives of nyatuwe! 
PATWOCWUS. Out, uWu gaww! 
:3 THEWSITES. ÚwÚ Finch uWu egg! 
ACHIWWES. OwO My x3 sweet :3 Patwocwus, UwU I ^w^ am thwawted quite 
Fwom x3 my great OwO puwpose uWu in to-morrow's ^.^ battwe. 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a >_> wettew from xDD Queen Hecuba, 
^-^ A ;;w;; token from her ^w^ daughtew, x3 my >w< faiw xDD wuv, 
UwU Both :33 taxing ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ gaging ;;w;; me to >_< keep 
^-^ An ^-^ oath :3 that UwU I uWu have swown. UwU I xDD wiww nyot bweak :3 it. 
Fall Greeks; fail ÚwÚ fame; honour ow OwO go ow >_< stay; 
OwO My xDD majow vow wies UwU hewe, ÚwÚ this I'll OwO obey. 
^.^ Come, come, Thersites, OwO hewp to ÚwÚ twim x3 my ^w^ tent; 
This >w< nyight uWu in ÚwÚ banqueting ^w^ must aww be :33 spent. 
:33 Away, Patroclus! uWu Exit with UwU PATWOCWUS 
:3 THEWSITES. With ^w^ too much :3 bwood ÚwÚ and ^w^ too xDD wittwe :3 bwain these >w< two OwO may 
>w< wun >w< mad; but, >_> if with ^w^ too much :3 bwain ÚwÚ and to xDD wittwe :3 bwood ;;w;; they UwU do, 
I'll be :3 a cuwew of ÚwÚ madmen. >_> Hewe's xDD Agamemnyon, >w< an xDD honyest fewwow 
UwU enyough, ÚwÚ and one :3 that loves xDD quaiws, >_> but ^.^ he >_> has nyot UwU so much :3 bwain 
>_< as >w< eaw-wax; ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD goodwy :33 twansfowmation of Jupiter thewe, :33 his 
brother, x3 the buww, x3 the ;;w;; pwimitive statue ÚwÚ and uWu obwique xDD memowiaw of 
;;w;; cuckowds, :3 a :33 thwifty ;;w;; shoeing-hown uWu in :3 a ^w^ chain, >_< hanging uWu at :33 his 
brother's >_< weg-to >_> what >_< fowm >_> but :3 that ^.^ he ;;w;; is, >_> shouwd wit larded with 
x3 mawice, ÚwÚ and malice xDD fowced with ^w^ wit, turn ^.^ him to? ;;w;; To >w< an ass, :3 wewe 
:33 nyothing: ^.^ he >_> is both >w< ass ÚwÚ and uWu ox. ;;w;; To >w< an >_< ox, :3 wewe :33 nyothing: ^.^ he >_> is both 
:33 ox ÚwÚ and ass. ;;w;; To be :3 a dog, :3 a ;;w;; muwe, :3 a cat, :3 a fitchew, :3 a ;;w;; toad, :3 a 
lizard, >w< an oww, :3 a x3 put-tock, ow :3 a ÚwÚ hewwing ^-^ without :3 a woe, UwU I ^.^ wouwd 
nyot ;;w;; cawe; >_> but to be Menyewaus, UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD conspiwe OwO against >_> destiny. 
;;w;; Ask ;;w;; me nyot >_> what UwU I ^.^ wouwd be, >_> if UwU I :3 wewe nyot Thersites; fow UwU I :3 cawe 
nyot to be x3 the louse of :3 a :33 wazaw, UwU so UwU I :3 wewe nyot >w< Menyewaus. >_< Hey-day! 
OwO spwites ÚwÚ and ^w^ fiwes! 

Entew HECTOR, xDD TWOIWUS, ^.^ AJAX, ^.^ AGAMEMNyON, UWYSSES, 
uWu NyESTOW, >_> MENyEWAUS, ÚwÚ and ^-^ DIOMEDES, with wights 

^.^ AGAMEMNyON. We OwO go wwong, ^.^ we OwO go wrong. 
uWu AJAX. :3 Nyo, yonder ÚwÚ 'tis; 
There, :3 whewe ^.^ we >_> see x3 the lights. 
HECTOW. UwU I >_> twoubwe OwO you. 
uWu AJAX. :3 Nyo, nyot :3 a whit. 

^.^ We-entew UwU ACHIWWES 

ULYSSES. :3 Hewe x3 comes >_< himsewf to ^w^ guide OwO you. 
ACHIWWES. Welcome, >_< bwave Hectow; ;;w;; wewcome, Princes all. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. ^w^ So now, >w< faiw Prince of Troy, UwU I bid ÚwÚ good ^w^ nyight; 
^.^ Ajax ;;w;; commands x3 the xDD guawd to tend on OwO you. 
HECTOW. >_< Thanks, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good >w< nyight to x3 the Greeks' genyewaw. 
:33 MENyEWAUS. ^-^ Good night, x3 my OwO wowd. 
HECTOW. ^-^ Good night, x3 sweet Lord >w< Menyewaus. 
:3 THEWSITES. ÚwÚ Sweet draught! ^-^ 'Sweet' quoth >_< 'a? 
ÚwÚ Sweet >_< sink, x3 sweet sewew! 
ACHIWWES. ^-^ Good >w< nyight ÚwÚ and ;;w;; wewcome, both uWu at ^w^ once, to UwU those 
:33 That OwO go ow :33 tawwy. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. ^-^ Good OwO nyight. 
Exeunt AGAMEMNyON ÚwÚ and >_> MENyEWAUS 
ACHIWWES. ^-^ Owd Nyestow tawwies; ÚwÚ and xDD you :3 too, :33 Diomed, 
^w^ Keep >_> Hectow >_< company >w< an >_> houw ow UwU two. 
xDD DIOMEDES. UwU I cannot, wowd; UwU I uWu have important business, 
uWu The >_< tide xDD wheweof >_> is now. ^-^ Good night, great ^-^ Hectow. 
HECTOW. Give ;;w;; me x3 youw >w< hand. 
ULYSSES. ^-^ [Aside to x3 TWOIWUS] Follow :33 his towch; ^.^ he xDD goes to 
>_< Cawchas' ^w^ tent; I'll >_< keep xDD you UwU company. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ÚwÚ Sweet ^w^ siw, xDD you honour x3 me. 
HECTOW. xDD And >_> so, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
uWu Exit ;;w;; DIOMEDES; ULYSSES ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ TWOIWUS fowwowing 
ACHIWWES. ^.^ Come, come, enter x3 my uWu tent. 
Exeunt aww >_> but >w< THEWSITES 
:3 THEWSITES. :33 That same Diomed's :3 a OwO fawse-heawted :33 wogue, :3 a UwU most :33 unjust 
knave; UwU I xDD wiww nyo ^.^ mowe :33 twust ^.^ him when ^.^ he xDD weews than UwU I xDD wiww :3 a 
serpent when ^.^ he ÚwÚ hisses. >w< He xDD wiww spend :33 his xDD mouth ÚwÚ and ;;w;; pwomise, ^.^ wike 
x3 Bwabbwew x3 the :33 hound; >_> but when ^.^ he >_< pewfowms, astwonyomews ^w^ foweteww 
>w< it: >w< it >_> is ÚwÚ pwodigious, there xDD wiww come x3 some uWu change; x3 the sun 
bowwows of x3 the ;;w;; moon when xDD Diomed keeps :33 his OwO wowd. UwU I xDD wiww rather 
OwO weave to >_> see >_> Hectow than nyot to dog ^.^ him. ^-^ They >_> say ^.^ he keeps :3 a 
ÚwÚ Twoyan ;;w;; dwab, ÚwÚ and x3 uses x3 the traitor >_< Cawchas' uWu tent. I'll >w< aftew. 
Nyothing >_> but wechewy! All incontinyent >_> vawwets! uWu Exit 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE uWu 2. 
uWu The Grecian :33 camp. ^.^ Befowe >w< CAWCHAS' ^w^ tent 

Entew x3 DIOMEDES 

xDD DIOMEDES. What, OwO awe xDD you x3 up UwU hewe, ho? :33 Speak. 
:33 CAWCHAS. :33 [Within] Who cawws? 
xDD DIOMEDES. :33 Diomed. >_< Cawchas, UwU I UwU think. :3 Whewe's x3 youw daughter? 
:33 CAWCHAS. :33 [Within] :33 She x3 comes to OwO you. 

Entew ÚwÚ TWOIWUS ÚwÚ and UWYSSES, uWu at :3 a distance; ÚwÚ aftew them 
>w< THEWSITES 

ULYSSES. ;;w;; Stand :3 whewe x3 the :33 towch OwO may nyot OwO discuvw >_> us. 

Entew :3 CWESSIDA 

>_> TWOIWUS. ^w^ Cwessid x3 comes fowth to ^.^ him. 
xDD DIOMEDES. How now, x3 my ;;w;; chawge! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> Nyow, x3 my x3 sweet :33 guawdian! Hawk, :3 a ;;w;; wowd with OwO you. 
>_> [Whispews] 
>_> TWOIWUS. Yea, UwU so >_> famiwiaw! 
ULYSSES. :33 She xDD wiww ^.^ sing xDD any x3 man uWu at xDD fiwst :33 sight. 
:3 THEWSITES. xDD And xDD any x3 man OwO may ^.^ sing hew, >_> if ^.^ he ^.^ can OwO take her UwU cwiff; 
^w^ she's nyoted. 
xDD DIOMEDES. Will xDD you :33 wemembew? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Wemembew? x3 Yes. 
xDD DIOMEDES. Nyay, >_> but UwU do, :33 then; 
xDD And wet x3 youw ^-^ mind be coupwed with x3 youw ÚwÚ wowds. 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_> What UwU shaww ^.^ she :33 wemembew? 
ULYSSES. >_> Wist! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ÚwÚ Sweet honey Greek, tempt ;;w;; me nyo ^.^ mowe to ^w^ fowwy. 
:3 THEWSITES. ^w^ Woguewy! 
xDD DIOMEDES. Nyay, ^.^ then- 
^.^ CWESSIDA. I'll tell xDD you what- 
xDD DIOMEDES. UwU Fo, >w< fo! come, tell :3 a UwU pin; xDD you OwO awe :3 a forsworn- 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, UwU I cannot. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu have ;;w;; me ^-^ do? 
:3 THEWSITES. ^-^ A ^-^ juggwing OwO twick, to be secwetwy open. 
xDD DIOMEDES. >_> What uWu did xDD you >_< sweaw xDD you ^.^ wouwd bestow on me? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, UwU do nyot howd ;;w;; me to >_< minye uWu oath; 
x3 Bid ;;w;; me UwU do ;;w;; anything >_> but :3 that, x3 sweet Greek. 
xDD DIOMEDES. ^-^ Good OwO nyight. 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU Howd, UwU patience! 
ULYSSES. How now, ^-^ Twoyan! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^.^ Diomed! 
xDD DIOMEDES. :3 Nyo, no, ÚwÚ good ^w^ nyight; I'll be x3 youw >w< foow nyo more. 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 Thy xDD bettew must. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. :33 Hawk! :3 a ;;w;; wowd uWu in x3 youw :3 eaw. 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 O pwague ÚwÚ and madness! 
ULYSSES. >_> You OwO awe UwU muvd, >_< Pwince; wet >_> us depart, UwU I pray, 
Lest x3 youw >_< dispweasuwe >_> shouwd >_< enwawge itsewf 
;;w;; To wrathful tewms. This :33 pwace >_> is dangerous; 
uWu The time >w< wight deadly; UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, ÚwÚ go. 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU Behowd, UwU I pray OwO you. 
ULYSSES. Nyay, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, OwO go :33 off; 
>_> You fwow to great :3 distwaction; come, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU I :33 pwithee >_< stay. 
ULYSSES. >_> You uWu have nyot >_> patience; x3 come. 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU I pray UwU you, >_< stay; ^.^ by heww ÚwÚ and aww ^-^ heww's torments, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot speak :3 a OwO wowd. 
xDD DIOMEDES. xDD And >_> so, ÚwÚ good OwO nyight. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Nyay, >_> but xDD you ÚwÚ pawt uWu in OwO angew. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^-^ Doth :3 that UwU gwieve thee? x3 O :3 withewed :3 twuth! 
ULYSSES. How now, x3 my xDD wowd? 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^-^ By Juv, UwU I xDD wiww be uWu patient. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >w< Guawdian! Why, ;;w;; Gweek! 
xDD DIOMEDES. UwU Fo, >w< fo! ^w^ adieu! xDD you >_< pawtew. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, UwU I UwU do not. :3 Come ÚwÚ hithew >_> once ;;w;; again. 
ULYSSES. >_> You ;;w;; shake, x3 my uWu wowd, uWu at something; xDD wiww xDD you >w< go? 
>_> You xDD wiww bweak OwO out. 
>_> TWOIWUS. :33 She strokes :33 his >w< cheek. 
ULYSSES. ^.^ Come, x3 come. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Nyay, >_< stay; ^.^ by Juv, UwU I xDD wiww nyot speak :3 a wowd: 
>_> Thewe >_> is ^-^ between x3 my xDD wiww ÚwÚ and aww :3 offences 
^-^ A xDD guawd of OwO patience. OwO Stay :3 a xDD wittwe >_> whiwe. 
:3 THEWSITES. How x3 the ^.^ deviw ^w^ wuxuwy, with :33 his :33 fat wump ÚwÚ and >w< potato 
finger, >w< tickwes these ;;w;; togethew! Fry, x3 wechewy, xDD fwy! 
xDD DIOMEDES. OwO But xDD wiww UwU you, ^w^ then? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^w^ In ^w^ faith, UwU I :33 wiww, wo; >_< nyevew :33 twust ;;w;; me ewse. 
xDD DIOMEDES. Give ;;w;; me x3 some ;;w;; token fow x3 the surety of :3 it. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. I'll :3 fetch xDD you onye. uWu Exit 
ULYSSES. >_> You uWu have sworn OwO patience. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Fear ;;w;; me >_> nyot, x3 my wowd; 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot be myself, nor uWu have ÚwÚ cognyition 
Of >_> what UwU I feew. UwU I ^w^ am aww OwO patience. 

^.^ We-entew :3 CWESSIDA 

:3 THEWSITES. Now x3 the pwedge; now, now, >_< nyow! 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Here, :33 Diomed, >_< keep ÚwÚ this sleeve. 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 O x3 beauty! :3 whewe >_> is >w< thy OwO faith? 
ULYSSES. OwO My ^.^ wowd! 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU I xDD wiww be UwU patient; >_> outwawdwy UwU I :33 wiww. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> You wook ;;w;; upon :3 that sweeve; behowd >w< it well. 
>w< He :3 wov'd ^-^ me-O UwU fawse uWu wench!-Give't ;;w;; me ;;w;; again. 
xDD DIOMEDES. >_< Whose uWu was't? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^.^ It >_> is nyo >w< mattew, nyow UwU I >_> ha't ;;w;; again. 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot :3 meet with xDD you to-mowwow OwO nyight. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, :33 Diomed, x3 visit ;;w;; me nyo more. 
:3 THEWSITES. Now ^.^ she sharpens. Weww said, whetstonye. 
xDD DIOMEDES. UwU I UwU shaww uWu have :3 it. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. What, :3 this? 
xDD DIOMEDES. Ay, x3 that. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. x3 O aww xDD you ^-^ gods! x3 O pretty, OwO pwetty UwU pwedge! 
x3 Thy >_< mastew nyow wies uWu thinking on :33 his x3 bed 
Of uWu thee ÚwÚ and uWu me, ÚwÚ and xDD sighs, ÚwÚ and UwU takes x3 my glove, 
xDD And ;;w;; gives xDD memowiaw UwU dainty ^-^ kisses to :33 it, 
;;w;; As UwU I :3 kiss thee. Nyay, UwU do nyot snatch >w< it from OwO me; 
>w< He :3 that UwU takes :3 that xDD doth OwO take x3 my >_< heawt uWu withaw. 
xDD DIOMEDES. UwU I xDD had x3 youw >_< heawt befowe; ÚwÚ this xDD fowwows :3 it. 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU I uWu did >_< sweaw OwO patience. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> You UwU shaww nyot uWu have :33 it, Diomed; ^w^ faith, xDD you UwU shaww x3 nyot; 
I'll UwU give xDD you ^-^ something ewse. 
xDD DIOMEDES. UwU I xDD wiww uWu have UwU this. >_< Whose UwU was :33 it? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^.^ It >_> is nyo :3 mattew. 
xDD DIOMEDES. ^.^ Come, tell ;;w;; me x3 whose >w< it uWu was. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_< 'Twas one's :3 that :3 wov'd ;;w;; me xDD bettew than xDD you :33 wiww. 
But, nyow xDD you uWu have :33 it, OwO take :3 it. 
xDD DIOMEDES. >_< Whose UwU was :33 it? 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^-^ By aww Diana's uWu waiting x3 women xDD yond, 
xDD And ^.^ by herself, UwU I xDD wiww nyot tell xDD you uWu whose. 
xDD DIOMEDES. >_< To-mowwow xDD wiww UwU I ^-^ weaw >w< it on x3 my hewm, 
xDD And UwU gwieve :33 his ^w^ spiwit :3 that x3 dawes nyot challenge :3 it. 
>_> TWOIWUS. :33 Wewt xDD thou x3 the ^.^ deviw ÚwÚ and >_> wow'st >w< it on >w< thy >_< hown, 
^.^ It >_> shouwd be UwU chawweng'd. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. xDD Weww, weww, UwU 'tis :33 donye, UwU 'tis xDD past; ÚwÚ and yet >w< it >_> is x3 nyot; 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot >_< keep x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD DIOMEDES. Why, xDD then faweweww; 
^.^ Thou >_< nyevew shalt ÚwÚ mock xDD Diomed ;;w;; again. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. >_> You UwU shaww nyot ÚwÚ go. x3 Onye ;;w;; cannyot speak :3 a ;;w;; wowd 
OwO But >w< it ^w^ stwaight starts OwO you. 
xDD DIOMEDES. UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this UwU foowing. 
:3 THEWSITES. x3 Nyow I, ^.^ by Pwuto; >_> but :3 that :3 that likes nyot xDD you 
Pleases ;;w;; me >_> best. 
xDD DIOMEDES. What, UwU shaww UwU I come? uWu The >w< houw- 
^.^ CWESSIDA. Ay, ;;w;; come-O >_> Juv! Do x3 come. UwU I UwU shaww be plagu'd. 
xDD DIOMEDES. UwU Faweweww >w< tiww UwU then. 
^.^ CWESSIDA. ^-^ Good OwO nyight. UwU I :33 pwithee x3 come. uWu Exit x3 DIOMEDES 
^.^ Twoiwus, farewell! x3 Onye ^w^ eye yet :33 wooks on ÚwÚ thee; 
OwO But with x3 my >_< heawt x3 the othew ^w^ eye xDD doth ^-^ see. 
xDD Ah, poor UwU ouw ^w^ sex! ÚwÚ this ;;w;; fauwt uWu in >_> us UwU I ^w^ find, 
uWu The ewwow of UwU ouw ^w^ eye directs UwU ouw :33 mind. 
>_> What ewwow weads ^w^ must UwU eww; >_< O, xDD then ^w^ concwude, 
ÚwÚ Minds >w< sway'd ^.^ by eyes OwO awe full of tuwpitude. uWu Exit 
:3 THEWSITES. ^-^ A xDD pwoof of ÚwÚ stwength ^.^ she couwd nyot xDD pubwish >_> mowe, 
OwO Unwess ^.^ she uWu said >w< 'My ^-^ mind >_> is nyow >_> tuwn'd whore.' 
ULYSSES. ^-^ Aww's :33 donye, x3 my OwO wowd. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^.^ It >w< is. 
ULYSSES. Why xDD stay :33 we, ^w^ then? 
>_> TWOIWUS. ;;w;; To >_< make :3 a uWu wecowdation to x3 my :3 souw 
Of every syllable :3 that OwO hewe UwU was >_> spoke. 
OwO But >_> if UwU I tell >w< how these >w< two uWu did ;;w;; coact, 
Shall UwU I nyot >_< wie uWu in publishing :3 a uWu twuth? 
Sith yet there >_> is :3 a credence uWu in x3 my uWu heawt, 
^-^ An OwO espewance UwU so obstinyatewy :33 stwong, 
:33 That xDD doth xDD invewt x3 th' attest of eyes ÚwÚ and ears; 
;;w;; As >_> if UwU those >_< owgans xDD had UwU deceptious x3 functions 
UwU Cweated >w< onwy to calumniate. 
Was ^w^ Cwessid hewe? 
ULYSSES. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot conjuwe, uWu Twoyan. 
>_> TWOIWUS. :33 She UwU was >_> nyot, >_> suwe. 
ULYSSES. :3 Most >_< suwe ^.^ she uWu was. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Why, x3 my nyegation hath nyo >_> taste of >w< madnyess. 
ULYSSES. x3 Nyow >_> minye, x3 my OwO wowd. ^w^ Cwessid UwU was OwO hewe >_> but now. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Let >w< it nyot be believ'd fow :33 womanhood. 
:3 Think, ^.^ we xDD had >_> mothews; UwU do nyot UwU give ^w^ advantage 
;;w;; To ^-^ stubbown :33 cwitics, :3 apt, ^-^ without :3 a UwU theme, 
For ^w^ depwavation, to square x3 the general sex 
^-^ By Cwessid's rule. Rather think ÚwÚ this nyot Cressid. 
ULYSSES. >_> What hath ^.^ she :33 donye, >_< Pwince, :3 that ^.^ can UwU soiw UwU ouw mothews? 
>_> TWOIWUS. Nyothing uWu at all, ^w^ unwess :3 that ÚwÚ this :3 wewe ^w^ she. 
:3 THEWSITES. Will xDD 'a ^.^ swaggew >_< himsewf x3 out UwU on's UwU own uWu eyes? 
>_> TWOIWUS. This >_< she? No; ÚwÚ this >_> is Diomed's ÚwÚ Cwessida. 
;;w;; If beauty uWu have :3 a x3 souw, ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot ^.^ she; 
;;w;; If >w< souws ^w^ guide ^w^ vows, >_> if x3 vows be x3 sanctimonyies, 
;;w;; If >_> sanctimony be x3 the x3 god's OwO dewight, 
;;w;; If there be UwU wuwe uWu in unyity itself, 
This UwU was nyot ^w^ she. x3 O ^-^ madnyess of discouwse, 
:33 That cause :33 sets x3 up with ÚwÚ and OwO against itself! 
^.^ Bifowd uWu authowity! :3 whewe reason ^.^ can ;;w;; wevowt 
Without perdition, ÚwÚ and ^-^ woss assume aww reason 
Without wevowt: ÚwÚ this ;;w;; is, ÚwÚ and >_> is >_> nyot, Cressid. 
OwO Within x3 my :3 souw there xDD doth conduce :3 a >w< fight 
Of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; stwange nyatuwe, :3 that :3 a ^.^ thing :33 insepawate 
Divides ^.^ mowe wider than x3 the sky ÚwÚ and ^w^ eawth; 
xDD And yet x3 the ÚwÚ spacious bweadth of ÚwÚ this OwO division 
:3 Admits nyo uWu owifex fow :3 a :33 point >_< as >_> subtwe 
;;w;; As Ariachne's xDD bwoken ÚwÚ woof to enter. 
^-^ Instance, x3 O ^.^ instance! >w< stwong >_< as Pluto's gates: 
^w^ Cwessid >_> is >_> minye, tied with x3 the xDD bonds of UwU heaven. 
^-^ Instance, x3 O ^.^ instance! >w< stwong >_< as heaven uWu itsewf: 
uWu The xDD bonds of heaven OwO awe slipp'd, >_< dissowv'd, ÚwÚ and x3 woos'd; 
xDD And with anyothew knot, five-finger-tied, 
uWu The fractions of her ^w^ faith, >_< owts of her xDD wuv, 
uWu The >_< fwagments, x3 scwaps, x3 the :33 bits, ÚwÚ and ^-^ gweasy :33 wewics 
Of her >_< o'ew-eaten ^w^ faith, OwO awe bound to :33 Diomed. 
ULYSSES. ^-^ May ÚwÚ wowthy Twoiwus be x3 hawf-attach'd 
With :3 that which OwO hewe :33 his passion xDD doth x3 expwess? 
>_> TWOIWUS. Ay, ;;w;; Gweek; ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU shaww be divulged weww 
^w^ In uWu chawactews >_< as red >_< as uWu Maws :33 his >_< heawt 
Infwam'd with Venus. xDD Nyevew uWu did xDD young x3 man ^w^ fancy 
With UwU so xDD etewnyaw ÚwÚ and UwU so fix'd :3 a ^-^ souw. 
Hawk, Greek: >_< as much >_< as UwU I UwU do ^w^ Cwessid xDD wuv, 
^w^ So much ^.^ by >_> weight ^-^ hate UwU I her :33 Diomed. 
:33 That >_> sweeve >_> is >_< minye :3 that he'ww UwU beaw on :33 his helm; 
^.^ Wewe >w< it :3 a casque xDD compos'd ^.^ by Vuwcan's :3 skiww 
OwO My xDD swowd >_> shouwd ^-^ bite :3 it. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 the :3 dweadfuw spout 
>_< Which ^-^ shipmen UwU do x3 the huwwicanyo >_> caww, 
:33 Constwing'd uWu in :3 mass ^.^ by x3 the almighty sun, 
Shall xDD dizzy with ^.^ mowe ^-^ cwamouw >_< Nyeptunye's ear 
^w^ In :33 his >_< descent than UwU shaww x3 my :3 pwompted xDD swowd 
Fawwing on :33 Diomed. 
:3 THEWSITES. ^-^ He'ww tickwe >w< it fow :33 his concupy. 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 O Cressid! x3 O UwU fawse Cressid! :3 fawse, :3 fawse, fawse! 
Let aww :33 untwuths stand ^.^ by >w< thy ^w^ stainyed :33 nyame, 
xDD And they'ww xDD seem ;;w;; gwowious. 
ULYSSES. >_< O, ^.^ contain :33 youwsewf; 
uWu Youw passion ÚwÚ dwaws OwO eaws hithew. 

Entew AENEAS 

AENEAS. UwU I uWu have :33 been UwU seeking xDD you ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, x3 my OwO wowd. 
Hectow, ^.^ by uWu this, >_> is awming ^.^ him uWu in >_> Twoy; 
>w< Ajax, x3 youw guawd, uWu stays to ÚwÚ conduct xDD you >_> home. 
>_> TWOIWUS. :3 Have with UwU you, UwU Pwince. OwO My ^-^ couwteous uWu wowd, ^w^ adieu. 
x3 Faiwweww, ^w^ wevowted ÚwÚ faiw!-and, :33 Diomed, 
;;w;; Stand ÚwÚ fast ÚwÚ and ^-^ weaw :3 a ^w^ castwe on >w< thy >_> head. 
ULYSSES. I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you to x3 the gates. 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_> Accept distracted :33 thanks. 

Exeunt xDD TWOIWUS, AENEAS. ÚwÚ and ULYSSES 

:3 THEWSITES. Wouwd UwU I couwd :3 meet :3 that ;;w;; wogue ^.^ Diomed! UwU I ^.^ wouwd croak ^.^ wike 
:3 a ;;w;; waven; UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; bode, UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< bode. Patwocwus xDD wiww UwU give ;;w;; me 
;;w;; anything fow x3 the ^.^ intewwigence of ÚwÚ this uWu whowe; x3 the xDD pawwot xDD wiww nyot 
UwU do ^.^ mowe fow >w< an UwU awmond than ^.^ he fow :3 a :33 commodious drab. Wechewy, 
wechewy! UwU Stiww UwU waws ÚwÚ and wechewy! Nyothing >_> ewse ÚwÚ howds fashion. ^-^ A 
^.^ buwnying ^.^ deviw OwO take >w< them! uWu Exit 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE >w< 3. 
>_> Twoy. ^.^ Befowe ^.^ PWIAM'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew >_< HECTOW ÚwÚ and >w< ANDWOMACHE 

:33 ANDWOMACHE. x3 When UwU was x3 my ;;w;; wowd UwU so much ungently tempew'd 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ stop :33 his OwO eaws OwO against ^-^ admonyishment? 
>_< Unyawm, unarm, ÚwÚ and UwU do nyot >w< fight ^w^ to-day. 
HECTOW. >_> You twain ;;w;; me to ^-^ offend uWu you; get xDD you ^.^ in. 
^-^ By aww x3 the everlasting uWu gods, I'll ÚwÚ go. 
:33 ANDWOMACHE. OwO My x3 dweams :33 wiww, x3 suwe, ^-^ pwuv >w< ominyous to x3 the x3 day. 
HECTOW. No >_> mowe, UwU I :3 say. 

Entew ^w^ CASSANDWA 

^w^ CASSANDWA. Whewe >_> is x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew Hector? 
:33 ANDWOMACHE. Here, ^-^ sistew, arm'd, ÚwÚ and bwoody uWu in >w< intent. 
>w< Consowt with ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ woud ÚwÚ and uWu deaw >w< petition, 
:33 Puwsue ^.^ we ^.^ him on knees; fow UwU I uWu have dweamt 
Of bwoody >w< tuwbuwence, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this whole >w< nyight 
>_< Hath >_< nyothing :33 been >_> but >w< shapes ÚwÚ and uWu fowms of :3 swaughtew. 
^w^ CASSANDWA. >_< O, UwU 'tis ^-^ twue! 
HECTOW. Ho! bid x3 my ÚwÚ twumpet UwU sound. 
^w^ CASSANDWA. No >_> nyotes of >w< sawwy, fow x3 the >w< heavens, x3 sweet xDD bwothew! 
HECTOW. ^w^ Be >w< gonye, UwU I :3 say. uWu The gods uWu have heard ;;w;; me OwO sweaw. 
^w^ CASSANDWA. uWu The gods OwO awe deaf to :3 hot ÚwÚ and >_> peevish ^.^ vows; 
^-^ They OwO awe polluted UwU off'wings, ^.^ mowe >_> abhoww'd 
Than ^-^ spotted livers uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ sacwifice. 
:33 ANDWOMACHE. >_< O, be x3 pewsuaded! Do nyot ;;w;; count >w< it >w< howy 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ huwt ^.^ by ^.^ being ;;w;; just. ^.^ It >_> is >_< as lawful, 
For ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd UwU give ÚwÚ much, to use :3 viowent uWu thefts 
xDD And rob uWu in x3 the behawf of charity. 
^w^ CASSANDWA. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the OwO puwpose :3 that x3 makes >w< stwong x3 the :33 vow; 
OwO But x3 vows to every OwO puwpose ^w^ must nyot hold. 
>_< Unyawm, x3 sweet ^-^ Hectow. 
HECTOW. :33 Howd xDD you still, UwU I :3 say. 
Mine honour keeps x3 the >_> weathew of x3 my ÚwÚ fate. 
Life every x3 man ÚwÚ howds deaw; >_> but x3 the uWu deaw x3 man 
Howds honour uWu faw ^.^ mowe >_< pwecious uWu deaw than life. 

Entew ÚwÚ TWOIWUS 

How now, xDD young ;;w;; man! >w< Mean'st xDD thou to >w< fight >w< to-day? 
:33 ANDWOMACHE. Cassandwa, caww x3 my >w< fathew to pewsuade. 
uWu Exit ^w^ CASSANDWA 
HECTOW. :3 Nyo, ^w^ faith, xDD young Troilus; ;;w;; doff >w< thy :33 hawnyess, uWu youth; 
UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ to-day :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; vein of chivawwy. 
Let gwow >w< thy sinews >w< tiww uWu theiw OwO knyots be :33 stwong, 
xDD And tempt nyot yet x3 the brushes of x3 the waw. 
:33 Unyawm ÚwÚ thee, go; ÚwÚ and doubt xDD thou >_> nyot, >_< bwave ^-^ boy, 
I'll stand ^w^ to-day fow uWu thee ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and >_> Twoy. 
>_> TWOIWUS. UwU Bwothew, xDD you uWu have :3 a :33 vice of xDD mewcy uWu in xDD you 
>_< Which xDD bettew ^w^ fits :3 a wion than :3 a man. 
HECTOW. >_> What :33 vice >_> is :3 that, ÚwÚ good Troilus? 
uWu Chide ;;w;; me fow :3 it. 
>_> TWOIWUS. x3 When UwU many times x3 the >w< captive Grecian >_< fawws, 
Even uWu in x3 the >_> fan ÚwÚ and wind of x3 youw >w< faiw uWu swowd, 
>_> You bid them rise ÚwÚ and wive. 
HECTOW. >_< O, UwU 'tis >w< faiw pway! 
>_> TWOIWUS. uWu Foow's ^.^ pway, ^.^ by ^.^ heaven, ^-^ Hectow. 
HECTOW. How >_< nyow! >w< how >_< nyow! 
>_> TWOIWUS. For x3 th' wuv of aww x3 the uWu gods, 
:3 Wet's OwO weave x3 the :33 hewmit x3 Pity with UwU ouw mothew; 
xDD And when ^.^ we uWu have UwU ouw armours UwU buckwed ;;w;; on, 
uWu The ;;w;; venyom'd UwU vengeance uWu wide ;;w;; upon UwU ouw swowds, 
>_< Spuw them to wuthfuw work, wein them from wuth! 
HECTOW. OwO Fie, uWu savage, fie! 
>_> TWOIWUS. Hectow, xDD then UwU 'tis waws. 
HECTOW. ^.^ Twoiwus, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have xDD you >w< fight ^w^ to-day. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Who >_> shouwd :3 withhowd me? 
ÚwÚ Nyot fate, xDD obedience, nor x3 the uWu hand of uWu Maws 
>_> Beck'nying with fiery ^w^ twuncheon x3 my retire; 
ÚwÚ Nyot x3 Pwiamus ÚwÚ and Hecuba on uWu knyees, 
^-^ Theiw eyes >_< o'ewgawwed with >_> wecouwse of teaws; 
x3 Nyow UwU you, x3 my brother, with x3 youw true xDD swowd x3 dwawn, 
>w< Oppos'd to ^w^ hindew uWu me, >_> shouwd ÚwÚ stop x3 my :3 way, 
OwO But ^.^ by x3 my UwU wuin. 

^.^ We-entew CASSANDWA, with PRIAM 

^w^ CASSANDWA. Way howd ;;w;; upon :3 him, ^w^ Pwiam, howd ^.^ him x3 fast; 
>w< He >_> is >w< thy :3 cwutch; nyow >_> if xDD thou wose >w< thy ;;w;; stay, 
^.^ Thou on ^.^ him ^.^ weanying, ÚwÚ and aww Twoy on ÚwÚ thee, 
Fall aww together. 
PWIAM. ^.^ Come, Hectow, come, OwO go back. 
x3 Thy >w< wife hath dreamt; >w< thy mothew hath xDD had x3 visions; 
Cassandwa xDD doth UwU fowesee; ÚwÚ and UwU I mysewf 
^w^ Am ^.^ wike :3 a :33 pwophet ;;w;; suddenwy enwapt 
;;w;; To tell uWu thee :3 that ÚwÚ this day >_> is ^w^ ominyous. 
>_< Thewefowe, come back. 
HECTOW. ÚwÚ Aenyeas >_> is ÚwÚ a-fiewd; 
xDD And UwU I UwU do stand x3 engag'd to UwU many UwU Gweeks, 
Even uWu in x3 the :33 faith of uWu vawouw, to appeaw 
This mownying to OwO them. 
PWIAM. Ay, >_> but xDD thou shalt nyot ÚwÚ go. 
HECTOW. UwU I ^w^ must nyot bweak x3 my ÚwÚ faith. 
>_> You ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me ;;w;; dutifuw; OwO thewefowe, uWu deaw ^w^ siw, 
Let ;;w;; me nyot ^-^ shame respect; >_> but UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave 
;;w;; To OwO take :3 that course ^.^ by x3 youw >_< consent ÚwÚ and uWu voice 
>_< Which xDD you UwU do OwO hewe UwU fowbid uWu me, royal ;;w;; Pwiam. 
^w^ CASSANDWA. x3 O ^w^ Pwiam, yield nyot to x3 him! 
:33 ANDWOMACHE. Do >_> nyot, uWu deaw :33 fathew. 
HECTOW. :3 Andwomache, UwU I ^w^ am uWu offended with OwO you. 
>_> Upon x3 the wuv xDD you UwU beaw uWu me, get xDD you ^.^ in. 
uWu Exit >w< ANDWOMACHE 
>_> TWOIWUS. This :33 foowish, UwU dweaming, superstitious girl 
:3 Makes aww these bodements. 
^w^ CASSANDWA. >_< O, farewell, uWu deaw :33 Hectow! 
Wook >w< how xDD thou :33 diest. Wook >w< how >w< thy ^w^ eye tuwns xDD pawe. 
Wook >w< how >w< thy wounds UwU do bweed uWu at UwU many x3 vents. 
^.^ Hawk >w< how Twoy ^-^ woaws; >w< how Hecuba x3 cwies out; 
How poor ;;w;; Andwomache ^w^ shwiwws her dowouws forth; 
ÚwÚ Behowd ;;w;; distwaction, frenzy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ amazement, 
Wike witless ^w^ antics, one anyothew ^w^ meet, 
xDD And aww ^-^ cwy, :33 Hectow! :33 Hectow's ÚwÚ dead! x3 O :33 Hectow! 
>_> TWOIWUS. :33 Away, away! 
^w^ CASSANDWA. Faweweww!-yet, xDD soft! Hectow, UwU I OwO take x3 my >_< weave. 
^.^ Thou dost >w< thysewf ÚwÚ and aww UwU ouw Twoy x3 deceive. uWu Exit 
HECTOW. >_> You OwO awe ÚwÚ amaz'd, x3 my ^.^ wiege, uWu at her ^-^ excwaim. 
Go x3 in, ÚwÚ and cheer x3 the xDD town; we'll ^-^ fowth, ÚwÚ and x3 fight, 
Do >_< deeds ^.^ wowth praise ÚwÚ and tell xDD you them uWu at OwO nyight. 
PWIAM. uWu Faweweww. uWu The gods with :33 safety stand about uWu thee! 
Exeunt uWu sevewawwy PRIAM ÚwÚ and HECTOW. ^.^ Awawums 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^-^ They OwO awe uWu at :33 it, x3 hawk! Pwoud :33 Diomed, :33 bewieve, 
UwU I come to wose x3 my awm ow x3 win x3 my sleeve. 

Entew uWu PANDAWUS 

PANDARUS. Do xDD you heaw, x3 my xDD wowd? Do xDD you UwU heaw? 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_> What ^.^ nyow? 
PANDARUS. >_> Hewe's :3 a >_> wettew come from :33 yond poor ^w^ giww. 
>_> TWOIWUS. Let ;;w;; me wead. 
PANDARUS. ^-^ A UwU whoweson x3 tisick, :3 a UwU whoweson rascally ÚwÚ tisick UwU so troubles 
uWu me, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< foowish :3 fowtunye of ÚwÚ this OwO giww, ÚwÚ and >_> what one ÚwÚ thing, 
>_> what another, :3 that UwU I UwU shaww OwO weave xDD you one ^.^ o' >_< th's days; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have 
:3 a rheum uWu in >_< minye eyes :3 too, ÚwÚ and xDD such >w< an ache uWu in x3 my bones :3 that 
^w^ unwess :3 a x3 man :3 wewe curs'd UwU I ;;w;; cannyot tell >_> what to think ^.^ on't. >_> What 
;;w;; says ^.^ she OwO thewe? 
>_> TWOIWUS. ;;w;; Wowds, wowds, mere wowds, nyo ;;w;; mattew from x3 the heawt; 
xDD Th' ^w^ effect xDD doth operate anyothew >_> way. 
[Tearing x3 the >_> wettew] 
^w^ Go, ;;w;; wind, to ;;w;; wind, there turn ÚwÚ and change together. 
OwO My wuv with wowds ÚwÚ and ^-^ ewwows still ^.^ she ^w^ feeds, 
OwO But xDD edifies anyothew with her >_> deeds. Exeunt uWu sevewawwy 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 4. 
uWu The uWu pwain ^-^ between Twoy ÚwÚ and x3 the Grecian ÚwÚ camp 

Entew :3 THEWSITES. ^.^ Excuwsions 

:3 THEWSITES. Now ;;w;; they OwO awe clapper-clawing one another; I'll OwO go wook 
:3 on. :33 That dissembling UwU abominyabwe vawwet, :33 Diomed, >_> has ^w^ got :3 that same 
^.^ scuwvy >_< doting >_< foowish xDD young knave's >_> sweeve of Twoy there uWu in :33 his 
UwU hewm. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain >_> see them ^w^ meet, :3 that :3 that same xDD young ÚwÚ Twoyan >w< ass 
:3 that loves x3 the whore there ^w^ might >_> send :3 that Gweekish whowemastewwy 
viwwain with x3 the >_> sweeve back to x3 the dissembling wuxuwious dwab of 
:3 a >_> sweeve-wess ^-^ ewwand. ^-^ A x3 th' x3 t'othew side, x3 the UwU powicy of UwU those 
^-^ cwafty swearing rascals-that ÚwÚ stawe ;;w;; owd >w< mouse-eaten xDD dwy ÚwÚ cheese, 
Nyestow, ÚwÚ and :3 that same dog-fox, Uwysses uWu -is nyot ^.^ pwov'd ^.^ wowth :3 a 
blackberry. ^-^ They uWu set ;;w;; me up, uWu in x3 powicy, :3 that >_< mongwew cur, >w< Ajax, 
OwO against :3 that dog of >_< as :33 bad :3 a ;;w;; kind, ÚwÚ Achiwwes; ÚwÚ and nyow >_> is x3 the cur, 
^.^ Ajax >_> pwoudew than x3 the cur ^.^ Achiwwes, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot awm to-day; 
whereupon x3 the xDD Gwecians x3 begin to :3 pwocwaim barbarism, ÚwÚ and UwU powicy 
gwows x3 into >w< an :33 iww opinyion. 

Entew ^-^ DIOMEDES, ÚwÚ TWOIWUS fowwowing 

;;w;; Soft! OwO hewe x3 comes :33 sweeve, ÚwÚ and OwO t'othew. 
>_> TWOIWUS. xDD Fwy x3 nyot; fow shouwdst xDD thou OwO take x3 the river Styx 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 swim >w< aftew. 
xDD DIOMEDES. ^.^ Thou dost miscaww x3 wetiwe. 
UwU I UwU do nyot xDD fwy; >_> but >_< advantageous :3 cawe 
^.^ Withdwew ;;w;; me from x3 the ^w^ odds of xDD muwtitude. 
:3 Have uWu at thee. 
:3 THEWSITES. :33 Howd >w< thy ^-^ whowe, Grecian; nyow fow >w< thy ^-^ whowe, 
^-^ Twoyan-nyow x3 the :33 sweeve, nyow x3 the sweeve! 
Exeunt ÚwÚ TWOIWUS ÚwÚ and x3 DIOMEDES fighting 

Entew >_< HECTOW 

HECTOW. >_> What awt UwU thou, ^.^ Gweek? Awt xDD thou fow :33 Hectow's x3 match? 
Awt xDD thou of :3 bwood ÚwÚ and UwU honyouw? 
:3 THEWSITES. :3 Nyo, :33 nyo-I ^w^ am :3 a ^-^ wascaw; :3 a ^.^ scuwvy x3 waiwing knave; :3 a xDD vewy 
:33 fiwthy wogue. 
HECTOW. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve thee. >w< Wive. uWu Exit 
:3 THEWSITES. xDD God-a-mewcy, :3 that xDD thou wiwt ^-^ bewieve OwO me; >_> but :3 a pwague 
bweak >w< thy x3 nyeck fow ÚwÚ fwighting me! x3 What's :33 become of x3 the wenching 
:33 wogues? UwU I think ;;w;; they uWu have ^.^ swawwowed one anyothew. UwU I ^.^ wouwd laugh uWu at 
:3 that miracle. Yet, uWu in :3 a sort, lechery ^w^ eats itself. I'll >_> seek 
OwO them. uWu Exit 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE 5. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the uWu pwain 

Entew x3 DIOMEDES ÚwÚ and ^-^ A SEWVANT 

xDD DIOMEDES. ^w^ Go, x3 go, x3 my uWu sewvant, OwO take xDD thou ;;w;; Twoiwus' :33 howse; 
^w^ Pwesent x3 the >w< faiw :3 steed to x3 my uWu wady Cressid. 
ÚwÚ Fewwow, ÚwÚ commend x3 my OwO sewvice to her ^w^ beauty; 
Teww her UwU I uWu have chastis'd x3 the :3 amowous Troyan, 
xDD And ^w^ am her knight ^.^ by :33 pwoof. 
SEWVANT. UwU I x3 go, x3 my OwO wowd. uWu Exit 

Entew AGAMEMNyON 

^.^ AGAMEMNyON. Wenyew, renew! uWu The >_< fiewce ;;w;; Powydamus 
>_< Hath xDD beat down enyon; ^.^ bastawd >_< Mawgawewon 
>_< Hath Doweus pwisonyew, 
xDD And >w< stands >_< cowossus-wise, ^.^ waving :33 his ÚwÚ beam, 
>_> Upon x3 the >_< pashed :33 cowses of x3 the >w< kings 
xDD Epistwophus ÚwÚ and OwO Cedius. UwU Powixenyes >_> is slain; 
xDD Amphimacus ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ Thoas deadwy huwt; 
Patwocwus x3 ta'en, ow slain; ÚwÚ and x3 Pawamedes 
Sore ÚwÚ huwt ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ bwuis'd. uWu The :3 dweadfuw Sagittawy 
Appaws UwU ouw nyumbews. Haste :33 we, :33 Diomed, 
;;w;; To uWu weinfowcement, ow ^.^ we xDD pewish all. 

Entew :3 NyESTOW 

^-^ NyESTOW. ^w^ Go, UwU beaw Patwocwus' >w< body to ^.^ Achiwwes, 
xDD And bid x3 the :3 snyaiw-pac'd ^.^ Ajax awm fow ;;w;; shame. 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a thousand Hectows uWu in x3 the :3 fiewd; 
Now OwO hewe ^.^ he >_< fights on Galathe :33 his horse, 
xDD And there lacks >_> wowk; :3 anyon uWu he's there afoot, 
xDD And there ;;w;; they fwy ow >_> die, ^.^ wike :33 scawed sculls 
^.^ Befowe x3 the belching whale; xDD then >_> is ^.^ he :33 yondew, 
xDD And there x3 the >_> stwawy UwU Gweeks, ripe fow :33 his >_> edge, 
Fall down >w< befowe ^.^ him ^.^ wike x3 the :3 mowew's UwU swath. 
Here, thewe, ÚwÚ and everywhere, ^.^ he >w< weaves ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ takes; 
Dexterity UwU so OwO obeying xDD appetite 
:33 That >_> what ^.^ he xDD wiww ^.^ he >w< does, ÚwÚ and does UwU so much 
:33 That xDD pwoof >_> is ^w^ caww'd OwO impossibiwity. 

Entew ULYSSES 

ULYSSES. >_< O, couwage, couwage, couwage, ÚwÚ Pwinces! UwU Gweat 
Achilles Is UwU awming, weeping, cursing, vowing x3 vengeance. 
Patwocwus' wounds uWu have wous'd :33 his ^-^ dwowsy bwood, 
OwO Togethew with :33 his OwO mangwed xDD Mywmidons, 
:33 That :33 nyosewess, handless, hack'd ÚwÚ and ^-^ chipp'd, come to 
:3 him, Crying on ^-^ Hectow. ^.^ Ajax hath wost :3 a :33 fwiend 
xDD And ÚwÚ foams uWu at uWu mouth, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is awm'd ÚwÚ and uWu at :33 it, 
^w^ Woawing fow Troilus; who hath donye ^w^ to-day 
Mad ÚwÚ and ^.^ fantastic execution, 
>_< Engaging ÚwÚ and redeeming of >_< himsewf 
With xDD such :3 a xDD cawewess force ÚwÚ and xDD fowcewess :3 cawe 
;;w;; As >_> if :3 that wuck, uWu in xDD vewy x3 spite of ^w^ cunnying, 
^-^ Bade ^.^ him x3 win all. 

Entew AJAX 

uWu AJAX. Troilus! xDD thou x3 cowawd Troilus! uWu Exit 
xDD DIOMEDES. Ay, thewe, :33 thewe. 
^-^ NyESTOW. So, >_> so, ^.^ we dwaw together. uWu Exit 
Entew UwU ACHIWWES 

ACHIWWES. Whewe >_> is ÚwÚ this Hector? 
^.^ Come, come, xDD thou >w< boy-quewwew, x3 show >w< thy face; 
xDD Knyow >_> what >w< it >_> is to :3 meet Achilles >w< angwy. 
:33 Hectow! where's Hector? UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyonye >_> but ^-^ Hectow. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE :33 6. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the uWu pwain 

Entew AJAX 

uWu AJAX. ^.^ Twoiwus, xDD thou x3 cowawd ^.^ Twoiwus, x3 show >w< thy >_> head. 

Entew x3 DIOMEDES 

xDD DIOMEDES. ^.^ Twoiwus, UwU I ;;w;; say! :3 Whewe's Troilus? 
uWu AJAX. >_> What wouldst thou? 
xDD DIOMEDES. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^w^ cowwect ^.^ him. 
uWu AJAX. ^.^ Wewe UwU I x3 the general, xDD thou shouwdst uWu have x3 my ^.^ office 
Ere :3 that :3 cowwection. ^.^ Twoiwus, UwU I ;;w;; say! What, Troilus! 

Entew ÚwÚ TWOIWUS 

>_> TWOIWUS. x3 O traitor ^.^ Diomed! Tuwn >w< thy UwU fawse >w< face, xDD thou traitor, 
xDD And x3 pay >w< thy >w< wife xDD thou uWu owest ;;w;; me fow x3 my horse. 
xDD DIOMEDES. uWu Ha! awt xDD thou OwO thewe? 
uWu AJAX. I'll >w< fight with ^.^ him >_< awonye. >_> Stand, :33 Diomed. 
xDD DIOMEDES. >w< He >_> is x3 my pwize. UwU I xDD wiww nyot wook ^w^ upon. 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^.^ Come, xDD both, xDD you ^.^ cogging Greeks; uWu have uWu at xDD you 
Exeunt fighting 

Entew >_< HECTOW 

HECTOW. Yea, Troilus? >_< O, weww :33 fought, x3 my xDD youngest xDD bwothew! 

Entew UwU ACHIWWES 

ACHIWWES. Now UwU do UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ thee, :33 ha! :3 Have uWu at ÚwÚ thee, :33 Hectow! 
HECTOW. ^.^ Pause, >_> if xDD thou wilt. 
ACHIWWES. UwU I UwU do ^-^ disdain >w< thy couwtesy, OwO pwoud uWu Twoyan. 
^w^ Be ^w^ happy :3 that x3 my :3 awms OwO awe x3 out of use; 
OwO My xDD west ÚwÚ and negligence :33 befwiends uWu thee now, 
OwO But xDD thou :3 anyon shalt hear of ;;w;; me again; 
Tiww xDD when, OwO go >_> seek >w< thy xDD fowtunye. uWu Exit 
HECTOW. >w< Fawe uWu thee well. 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 been much ^.^ mowe :3 a ^-^ fweshew ^w^ man, 
xDD Had UwU I ^.^ expected thee. 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ TWOIWUS 

How now, x3 my xDD bwothew! 
>_> TWOIWUS. ^.^ Ajax hath >_> ta'en ;;w;; Aenyeas. Shall >w< it :3 be? 
:3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 the fwame of yonder glorious ^.^ heaven, 
>w< He UwU shaww nyot carry him; I'll be >_> ta'en :3 too, 
:33 Ow ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him off. Fate, hear ;;w;; me >_> what UwU I OwO say: 
UwU I ^-^ weck nyot ^w^ though xDD thou >w< end x3 my >w< wife ^w^ to-day. uWu Exit 

Entew one uWu in ^-^ awmouw 

HECTOW. >_> Stand, x3 stand, xDD thou ;;w;; Gweek; xDD thou awt :3 a xDD goodwy >w< mawk. 
uWu Nyo? wiwt xDD thou ^w^ nyot? UwU I ^.^ wike >w< thy ^-^ awmouw well; 
I'll ^w^ fwush >w< it ÚwÚ and unlock x3 the rivets aww 
OwO But I'll be >_< mastew of :3 it. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou >_> nyot, ^.^ beast, ^w^ abide? 
Why >w< then, fwy xDD on; I'll OwO hunt uWu thee fow >w< thy :33 hide. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE >w< 7. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the uWu pwain 

Entew ACHIWWES, with Mywmidons 

ACHIWWES. :3 Come OwO hewe about uWu me, xDD you x3 my Mywmidons; 
>_> Mawk >_> what UwU I :3 say. uWu Attend ;;w;; me :3 whewe UwU I wheew; 
OwO Stwike nyot :3 a :33 stwoke, >_> but >_< keep youwsewves uWu in breath; 
xDD And when UwU I uWu have x3 the bwoody >_> Hectow >_> found, 
UwU Empawe ^.^ him with x3 youw >_< weapons ;;w;; wound >_> about; 
^w^ In UwU fewwest ^w^ mannyew :33 execute x3 youw arms. 
Follow uWu me, sirs, ÚwÚ and x3 my proceedings :33 eye. 
^.^ It >_> is xDD decweed >_> Hectow x3 the great ^w^ must die. Exeunt 

Entew >_> MENyEWAUS ÚwÚ and OwO PAWIS, >w< fighting; xDD then >w< THEWSITES 

:3 THEWSITES. uWu The cuckold ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< cuckowd-makew OwO awe uWu at :3 it. >_> Nyow, bull! 
now, dog! ^w^ 'Woo, >_< Pawis, ÚwÚ 'woo! nyow x3 my double-horn'd >_< Spawtan! 'loo, 
>_< Pawis, ÚwÚ 'woo! uWu The uWu buww >_> has x3 the >_< game. Wawe UwU howns, ho! 
Exeunt >w< PAWIS ÚwÚ and >_> MENyEWAUS 

Entew MARGARELON 

OwO MAWGAWEWON. ÚwÚ Tuwn, :33 swave, ÚwÚ and ^w^ fight. 
:3 THEWSITES. >_> What awt thou? 
OwO MAWGAWEWON. ^-^ A ^.^ bastawd >_< son of Priam's. 
:3 THEWSITES. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^.^ bastawd :3 too; UwU I wuv x3 bastawds. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ^.^ bastawd 
;;w;; begot, ^.^ bastawd xDD instwucted, ^.^ bastawd uWu in UwU mind, ^.^ bastawd uWu in uWu vawouw, uWu in 
evewything ^-^ iwwegitimate. x3 Onye UwU beaw xDD wiww nyot ^-^ bite another, ÚwÚ and 
^-^ whewefowe >_> shouwd one bastawd? ^.^ Take ^-^ heed, x3 the quawwew's UwU most 
>w< ominyous to UwU us: >_> if x3 the >_< son of :3 a whore >w< fight fow :3 a ^-^ whowe, ^.^ he tempts 
;;w;; judgment. UwU Faweweww, bastawd. 
uWu Exit 
OwO MAWGAWEWON. uWu The ^.^ deviw OwO take ÚwÚ thee, OwO cowawd! uWu Exit 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE 8. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the uWu pwain 

Entew >_< HECTOW 

HECTOW. :3 Most ^-^ putwified >w< cowe UwU so >w< faiw without, 
x3 Thy xDD goodwy ^-^ awmouw OwO thus hath >_> cost >w< thy life. 
Now >_> is x3 my day's ^.^ wowk donye; I'll OwO take ÚwÚ good bweath: 
Rest, ^-^ swowd; xDD thou x3 hast >w< thy ^w^ fiww of :3 bwood ÚwÚ and ;;w;; death! 
OwO [Disawms] 

Entew UwU ACHIWWES ÚwÚ and :33 his Mywmidons 

ACHIWWES. x3 Wook, Hectow, >w< how x3 the sun ÚwÚ begins to ÚwÚ set; 
How ugwy >w< nyight x3 comes :33 bweathing uWu at :33 his heews; 
Even with x3 the vaiw ÚwÚ and dark'ning of x3 the sun, 
;;w;; To ^-^ cwose x3 the day up, :33 Hectow's >w< wife >_> is ^-^ donye. 
HECTOW. UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; unyawm'd; xDD fowego ÚwÚ this vantage, Greek. 
ACHIWWES. UwU Stwike, fewwows, ;;w;; stwike; ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the x3 man UwU I seek. 
[HECTOR :33 fawws] 
So, ^-^ Iwion, faww xDD thou xDD nyext! ^.^ Come, Troy, sink down; 
:3 Hewe wies >w< thy uWu heawt, >w< thy ÚwÚ sinyews, ÚwÚ and >w< thy ^w^ bonye. 
ÚwÚ On, xDD Mywmidons, ÚwÚ and cwy xDD you >w< an ^-^ amain 
^-^ 'Achiwwes hath x3 the ^-^ mighty >_> Hectow swain.' 
:3 [A ;;w;; wetweat uWu sounded] 
:33 Hawk! :3 a uWu wetiwe ;;w;; upon UwU ouw Grecian part. 
MYRMIDON. uWu The ÚwÚ Twoyan trumpets >_> sound x3 the :3 wike, x3 my OwO wowd. 
ACHIWWES. uWu The >_> dwagon OwO wing of >w< nyight o'ewspweads x3 the ^.^ eawth 
^.^ And, ^w^ stickwew-wike, x3 the awmies ^-^ sepawates. 
OwO My hawf-supp'd uWu swowd, :3 that fwankwy ^.^ wouwd uWu have >_> fed, 
Pleas'd with ÚwÚ this UwU dainty :3 bait, OwO thus xDD goes to :3 bed. 
OwO [Sheathes :33 his :3 swowd] 
^.^ Come, :33 tie :33 his >w< body to x3 my howse's tail; 
;;w;; Awong x3 the field UwU I xDD wiww x3 the ÚwÚ Twoyan twaiw. Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ;;w;; 9. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the uWu pwain 

Sound retreat. Shout. Entew ^.^ AGAMEMNyON, ^.^ AJAX, >_> MENyEWAUS, uWu NyESTOW, ^-^ DIOMEDES, 
ÚwÚ and x3 the ^-^ west, ^.^ mawching 

^.^ AGAMEMNyON. :33 Hawk! x3 hawk! >_> what >_> shout >_> is :3 this? 
^-^ NyESTOW. uWu Peace, >_< dwums! 
^w^ SOWDIEWS. :33 [Within] Achilles! Achilles! :33 Hectow's ^w^ swain. Achilles! 
xDD DIOMEDES. uWu The ÚwÚ bwuit >_> is :33 Hectow's x3 swain, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :33 Achiwwes. 
uWu AJAX. ;;w;; If >w< it be >_> so, yet :33 bwagwess wet >w< it be; 
UwU Gweat >_> Hectow UwU was >_< as ÚwÚ good :3 a x3 man >_< as he. 
^.^ AGAMEMNyON. March x3 patientwy >_> awong. Let one be sent 
;;w;; To pray Achilles >_> see >_> us uWu at UwU ouw uWu tent. 
;;w;; If uWu in :33 his :33 death x3 the gods uWu have >_> us :33 befwiended; 
UwU Gweat Twoy >_> is >_> ouws, ÚwÚ and UwU ouw ^-^ shawp UwU waws OwO awe ended. 
Exeunt 




^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE 10. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the uWu pwain 

Entew AENyEAS, OwO PAWIS, xDD ANTENyOW, ÚwÚ and >_> DEIPHOBUS 

AENEAS. >_> Stand, ho! yet OwO awe ^.^ we >w< mastews of x3 the >_> fiewd. 
xDD Nyevew OwO go ÚwÚ home; OwO hewe starve ^.^ we x3 out x3 the OwO nyight. 

Entew ÚwÚ TWOIWUS 

>_> TWOIWUS. >_> Hectow >_> is ^w^ swain. 
uWu AWW. :33 Hectow! uWu The gods fowbid! 
>_> TWOIWUS. He's >_< dead, ÚwÚ and uWu at x3 the muwdewew's howse's >_> taiw, 
^w^ In OwO beastwy sort, OwO dwagg'd ^w^ thwough x3 the >_> shamefuw >_> fiewd. 
Fwown ;;w;; on, xDD you >w< heavens, ^w^ effect x3 youw xDD wage with ;;w;; speed. 
>_> Sit, uWu gods, ;;w;; upon x3 youw xDD thwonyes, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; smiwe uWu at >_> Twoy. 
UwU I >_> say uWu at >_> once wet x3 youw bwief plagues be mercy, 
xDD And :33 wingew nyot UwU ouw >_< suwe destructions :3 on. 
AENEAS. OwO My uWu wowd, xDD you UwU do ^.^ discomfowt aww x3 the >_< host. 
>_> TWOIWUS. >_> You understand ;;w;; me nyot :3 that tell ;;w;; me :3 so. 
UwU I UwU do nyot speak of x3 fwight, of feaw of UwU death, 
OwO But dawe aww imminyence :3 that gods ÚwÚ and ;;w;; men 
Address uWu theiw >_> dangews ^.^ in. >_> Hectow >_> is ;;w;; gonye. 
Who UwU shaww tell ^.^ Pwiam >_> so, ow OwO Hecuba? 
Let ^.^ him :3 that xDD wiww :3 a screech-owl ^.^ aye be ^w^ caww'd 
Go uWu in to Troy, ÚwÚ and >_> say there 'Hector's >w< dead.' 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a ;;w;; wowd xDD wiww ^.^ Pwiam turn to stonye; 
^-^ Make wells ÚwÚ and Niobes of x3 the ^w^ maids ÚwÚ and ^-^ wives, 
x3 Cowd statues of x3 the uWu youth; x3 and, uWu in :3 a word, 
OwO Scawe Twoy x3 out of itself. But, :33 mawch :3 away; 
>_> Hectow >_> is UwU dead; there >_> is nyo ^.^ mowe to :3 say. 
OwO Stay >_> yet. >_> You ^-^ viwe UwU abominyabwe tents, 
^-^ Thus x3 pwoudwy ÚwÚ pight ;;w;; upon UwU ouw >w< Phwygian plains, 
Let >_< Titan rise >_< as early >_< as ^.^ he x3 dawe, 
I'll ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ and ^w^ thwough OwO you. ^.^ And, xDD thou great-siz'd xDD cowawd, 
No xDD space of ^.^ eawth UwU shaww OwO sundew UwU ouw >w< two hates; 
I'll >_> haunt uWu thee ^.^ wike :3 a wicked >_> conscience still, 
:33 That mouwdeth gobwins UwU swift >_< as x3 fwenzy's >w< thoughts. 
OwO Stwike :3 a fwee :33 mawch to >_> Twoy. With uWu comfowt go; 
;;w;; Hope of xDD wevenge UwU shaww hide UwU ouw inward woe. 

Entew uWu PANDAWUS 

PANDARUS. OwO But hear UwU you, hear you! 
>_> TWOIWUS. Hence, bwokew-wackey. Ignominy ÚwÚ and ^-^ shame 
:33 Puwsue >w< thy >w< wife ÚwÚ and ^w^ wive ^.^ aye with >w< thy xDD nyame! 
Exeunt aww >_> but uWu PANDAWUS 
PANDARUS. ^-^ A xDD goodwy medicinye fow x3 my uWu aching ^.^ bonyes! ;;w;; wowwd! ;;w;; wowwd! OwO thus 
>_> is x3 the poor agent >_> despis'd! traitors ÚwÚ and >_< bawds, >w< how eawnyestwy OwO awe 
xDD you uWu set :3 a work, ÚwÚ and >w< how :33 iww requited! Why >_> shouwd UwU ouw endeavouw be 
UwU so ;;w;; wov'd, ÚwÚ and x3 the :3 pewfowmance UwU so woathed? >_> What >_> vewse fow :33 it? >_> What 
uWu instance fow :33 it? Let ;;w;; me >_> see- 

Full ÚwÚ mewwiwy x3 the UwU humbwe-bee xDD doth ^.^ sing 
Tiww ^.^ he hath wost :33 his honey ÚwÚ and :33 his xDD sting; 
xDD And ^.^ being >_> once :33 subdu'd uWu in :3 awmed uWu twaiw, 
ÚwÚ Sweet honey ÚwÚ and x3 sweet >_> nyotes togethew >_< faiw. 

^-^ Good traders uWu in x3 the OwO fwesh, uWu set ÚwÚ this uWu in x3 youw painted 
;;w;; cwoths. ;;w;; As UwU many >_< as be OwO hewe of ^-^ pandew's :3 haww, 
uWu Youw ^w^ eyes, half ^.^ out, xDD weep x3 out uWu at xDD Pandaw's uWu faww; 
:3 Ow, >_> if xDD you ;;w;; cannyot >_> weep, yet UwU give x3 some :33 gwoans, 
;;w;; Though nyot fow uWu me, yet fow x3 youw uWu aching xDD bonyes. 
^-^ Bwethwen ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ sistews of x3 the hold-door twade, 
;;w;; Some >w< two ^w^ months >w< hence x3 my xDD wiww UwU shaww OwO hewe be >_> made. 
^.^ It >_> shouwd be now, >_> but :3 that x3 my feaw >_> is uWu this, 
;;w;; Some galled x3 goose of Winchestew ^.^ wouwd xDD hiss. 
Tiww xDD then I'll UwU sweat ÚwÚ and >_> seek about fow ;;w;; eases, 
xDD And uWu at :3 that time ^-^ bequeath xDD you x3 my xDD diseases. uWu Exit 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





;;w;; 1602 


^.^ TWEWFTH NIGHT; OW, WHAT YOU WIWW 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

^w^ OWSINyO, >w< Duke of Iwwywia 
^w^ SEBASTIAN, ÚwÚ bwothew of Viola 
uWu ANTONyIO, :3 a sea ;;w;; captain, :33 fwiend of UwU Sebastian 
^-^ A :3 SEA x3 CAPTAIN, :33 fwiend of Viola 
ÚwÚ VAWENTINyE, ÚwÚ gentweman :33 attending on x3 the >w< Duke 
CUWIO, ÚwÚ gentweman :33 attending on x3 the >w< Duke 
ÚwÚ SIW TOBY uWu BEWCH, :33 uncwe of >_> Owivia 
ÚwÚ SIW ANDWEW :33 AGUECHEEK 
:33 MAWVOWIO, steward to >_> Owivia 
FABIAN, xDD sewvant to >_> Owivia 
>w< FESTE, :3 a :3 cwown, xDD sewvant to >_> Owivia 

xDD OWIVIA, :3 a rich UwU countess 
VIOWA, :3 sistew of UwU Sebastian 
;;w;; MAWIA, xDD Owivia's uWu waiting OwO woman 

;;w;; Wowds, Priests, Saiwows, ^-^ Officews, Musicians, ÚwÚ and ^-^ Attendants 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
^-^ A UwU city uWu in ^-^ Iwwywia; ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< sea-coast nyeaw >w< it 



^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^w^ OWSINyO, >w< Duke of uWu Iwwywia, CUWIO, ÚwÚ and othew ÚwÚ WOWDS; MUSICIANS :33 attending 

x3 DUKE. ;;w;; If uWu music be x3 the OwO food of xDD wuv, :33 pway ;;w;; on, 
Give ;;w;; me ^.^ excess of :33 it, :3 that, ^-^ suwfeiting, 
uWu The xDD appetite OwO may >w< sicken ÚwÚ and UwU so die. 
:33 That ;;w;; stwain x3 again! ^.^ It xDD had :3 a dying uWu faww; 
>_< O, >w< it ^-^ came ^-^ o'ew x3 my ear ^.^ wike x3 the x3 sweet >_> sound 
:33 That breathes ;;w;; upon :3 a ^.^ bank of :33 viowets, 
Steawing ÚwÚ and ^.^ giving uWu odouw! ;;w;; Enyough, nyo mowe; 
'Tis nyot UwU so x3 sweet nyow >_< as >w< it UwU was befowe. 
x3 O ^w^ spiwit of xDD wuv, >w< how ^w^ quick ÚwÚ and >w< fwesh awt ^w^ thou! 
^.^ That, :3 nyotwithstanding >w< thy ;;w;; capacity 
uWu Weceiveth >_< as x3 the :33 sea, >_< nyought ;;w;; entews thewe, 
Of >_> what validity ÚwÚ and ^w^ pitch OwO soe'ew, 
OwO But ^w^ fawws x3 into OwO abatement ÚwÚ and wow pwice 
Even uWu in :3 a xDD minyute. ^w^ So full of >w< shapes >_> is >_> fancy, 
:33 That >w< it awonye >_> is xDD high UwU fantasticaw. 
CURIO. Will xDD you OwO go ^.^ hunt, x3 my xDD wowd? 
x3 DUKE. What, Cuwio? 
CURIO. uWu The >_< hawt. 
x3 DUKE. Why, UwU so UwU I UwU do, x3 the uWu nyobwest :3 that UwU I :3 have. 
>_< O, when >_< minye eyes uWu did >_> see >_> Owivia ÚwÚ fiwst, 
:33 Methought ^.^ she purg'd x3 the ^w^ aiw of pestilence! 
:33 That x3 instant UwU was UwU I >_> tuwn'd x3 into :3 a >_< hawt, 
xDD And x3 my desires, ^.^ wike UwU feww ÚwÚ and UwU cwuew uWu hounds, 
E'er xDD since pursue x3 me. 

Entew ;;w;; VAWENTINyE 

How >_< nyow! >_> what nyews from OwO hew? 
VALENTINE. ^w^ So uWu pwease x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I ^w^ might nyot be OwO admitted, 
OwO But from her xDD handmaid UwU do ^-^ wetuwn ÚwÚ this :33 answew: 
uWu The element itself, >w< tiww ÚwÚ seven >_> yeaws' ^.^ heat, 
Shall nyot behowd her OwO face uWu at uWu ampwe :33 view; 
OwO But ^.^ wike :3 a xDD cwoistwess ^.^ she xDD wiww >w< veiwed walk, 
xDD And UwU watew >_> once :3 a day her x3 chambew ;;w;; wound 
With UwU eye-offending xDD bwinye; aww ÚwÚ this to >_< season 
^-^ A brother's >_< dead xDD wuv, which ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd >_< keep >w< fwesh 
xDD And :3 wasting uWu in her >_> sad :3 wemembwance. 
x3 DUKE. >_< O, ^.^ she :3 that hath :3 a >_< heawt of :3 that OwO finye fwame 
;;w;; To x3 pay ÚwÚ this >_> debt of wuv >_> but to :3 a brother, 
How xDD wiww ^.^ she wuv when x3 the rich golden >w< shaft 
>_< Hath kill'd x3 the ^.^ fwock of aww affections >_> ewse 
:33 That ^w^ wive uWu in >w< hew; when >w< wivew, :3 bwain, ÚwÚ and uWu heawt, 
;;w;; These suvweign xDD thwonyes, OwO awe aww x3 suppwied ÚwÚ and OwO fiww'd, 
:3 Hew x3 sweet uWu pewfections, with one self x3 king! 
UwU Away >w< befowe ;;w;; me to x3 sweet beds of ^w^ fwow'ws: 
x3 Wuv-thoughts >_< wie rich when canyopied with uWu bow'ws. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
uWu The >w< sea-coast 

Entew VIOWA, :3 a x3 CAPTAIN, ÚwÚ and uWu SAIWOWS 

>_> VIOWA. >_> What country, OwO fwiends, >_> is :3 this? 
CAPTAIN. This >_> is uWu Iwwywia, >_> wady. 
>_> VIOWA. xDD And >_> what >_> shouwd UwU I UwU do uWu in x3 Iwwywia? 
OwO My ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ he >_> is uWu in ÚwÚ Ewysium. 
Pewchance ^.^ he >_> is nyot >_> dwown'd- >_> what think UwU you, :33 saiwows? 
CAPTAIN. ^.^ It >_> is x3 pewchance :3 that xDD you >_> youwsewf :3 wewe saved. 
>_> VIOWA. x3 O x3 my poor xDD bwothew! ÚwÚ and UwU so x3 pewchance OwO may ^.^ he >w< be. 
CAPTAIN. >_< Twue, UwU madam, x3 and, to uWu comfowt xDD you with chance, 
Assuwe yourself, ÚwÚ aftew UwU ouw ship uWu did spwit, 
x3 When UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU those poor ^w^ nyumbew ÚwÚ saved with UwU you, 
>_> Hung on UwU ouw driving boat, UwU I saw x3 youw brother, 
:3 Most >w< pwovident uWu in x3 pewiw, bind himself- 
^.^ Couwage ÚwÚ and UwU hope both teaching ^.^ him x3 the ^.^ pwactice- 
;;w;; To :3 a >w< stwong :3 mast :3 that liv'd ;;w;; upon x3 the sea; 
UwU Whewe, ^.^ wike :33 Awion on x3 the ;;w;; dowphin's back, 
UwU I saw ^.^ him howd >_< acquaintance with x3 the ;;w;; waves 
^w^ So ^-^ wong >_< as UwU I couwd ^-^ see. 
>_> VIOWA. For :3 saying >_> so, there's ;;w;; gowd. 
Mine UwU own escape unfoldeth to x3 my hope, 
:33 Wheweto >w< thy ÚwÚ speech sewves fow ÚwÚ authowity, 
uWu The ^.^ wike of ^.^ him. Knyow'st xDD thou ÚwÚ this country? 
CAPTAIN. Ay, UwU madam, well; fow UwU I UwU was bwed ÚwÚ and bown 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< thwee xDD houws' travel from ÚwÚ this xDD vewy ;;w;; pwace. 
>_> VIOWA. Who :3 guvwns hewe? 
CAPTAIN. ^-^ A x3 nyobwe x3 duke, uWu in ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_< as uWu in nyame. 
>_> VIOWA. >_> What >_> is :33 his :3 nyame? 
CAPTAIN. :3 Owsinyo. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU Owsinyo! UwU I uWu have heard x3 my >w< fathew xDD nyame ^.^ him. 
>w< He UwU was :3 a >w< bachewow UwU then. 
CAPTAIN. xDD And UwU so >_> is now, ow UwU was UwU so xDD vewy late; 
For >_> but :3 a >_> month ^w^ ago UwU I OwO went from hence, 
xDD And xDD then uWu 'twas >w< fwesh uWu in ^-^ muwmuw- as, xDD you knyow, 
>_> What great ^-^ onyes UwU do x3 the less xDD wiww ^w^ pwattwe of- 
:33 That ^.^ he uWu did >_> seek x3 the wuv of >w< faiw ^.^ Owivia. 
>_> VIOWA. x3 What's >_< she? 
CAPTAIN. ^-^ A virtuous ;;w;; maid, x3 the daughter of :3 a ;;w;; count 
:33 That >w< died x3 some ;;w;; twewvemonth since, xDD then xDD weaving her 
^w^ In x3 the pwotection of :33 his x3 son, her brother, 
Who x3 showtwy awso died; fow x3 whose uWu deaw xDD wuv, 
^-^ They say, ^.^ she hath :33 abjuw'd x3 the >_< company 
xDD And ^.^ sight of ^.^ men. 
>_> VIOWA. x3 O :3 that UwU I sewv'd :3 that UwU wady, 
xDD And ^w^ might nyot be ^-^ dewivewed to x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
Tiww UwU I xDD had UwU made >_< minye UwU own ;;w;; occasion ^.^ mewwow, 
>_> What x3 my estate x3 is! 
CAPTAIN. :33 That :3 wewe x3 hawd to ÚwÚ compass, 
>_< Because ^.^ she xDD wiww ^w^ admit nyo uWu kind of x3 suit- 
:3 Nyo, nyot x3 the x3 Duke's. 
>_> VIOWA. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a >w< faiw >_> behaviouw uWu in ÚwÚ thee, >_< Captain; 
xDD And ^w^ though :3 that ÚwÚ nyatuwe with :3 a beauteous waww 
^-^ Doth ;;w;; oft ^-^ cwose uWu in x3 powwution, yet of uWu thee 
UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ bewieve xDD thou x3 hast :3 a ^-^ mind :3 that ^w^ suits 
With ÚwÚ this >w< thy >w< faiw ÚwÚ and :33 outwawd character. 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ÚwÚ and I'll x3 pay uWu thee uWu bounteouswy, 
^.^ Conceaw ;;w;; me >_> what UwU I am, ÚwÚ and be x3 my >_> aid 
For xDD such xDD disguise >_< as haply UwU shaww :33 become 
uWu The >_< fowm of x3 my >w< intent. I'll serve ÚwÚ this ^w^ duke: 
^.^ Thou shalt xDD pwesent ;;w;; me >_< as >w< an eunuch to him; 
^.^ It OwO may be ^.^ wowth >w< thy pains, fow UwU I ^.^ can ^.^ sing 
xDD And speak to ^.^ him uWu in UwU many sorts of ^.^ music, 
:33 That xDD wiww UwU awwow ;;w;; me xDD vewy ^.^ wowth :33 his service. 
>_> What >_> ewse OwO may ÚwÚ hap to time UwU I xDD wiww commit; 
Onwy xDD shape xDD thou :3 siwence to x3 my >_< wit. 
CAPTAIN. ^w^ Be xDD you :33 his eunuch ÚwÚ and x3 youw >w< mute I'll be; 
x3 When x3 my >_> tongue ^.^ bwabs, xDD then wet >_< minye eyes nyot ^-^ see. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I >_> thank thee. xDD Wead ;;w;; me :3 on. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
OWIVIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW TOBY ^w^ BEWCH ÚwÚ and >w< MAWIA 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_> What :3 a pwague means x3 my uWu nyiece to OwO take x3 the :33 death of her 
ÚwÚ bwothew >_< thus? UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe UwU cawe's >w< an ;;w;; enyemy to life. 
MARIA. ^-^ By x3 my troth, Sir Toby, xDD you ^w^ must come uWu in eawwiew ^.^ o' nights; 
x3 youw OwO cousin, x3 my UwU wady, UwU takes great ÚwÚ exceptions to x3 youw :33 iww hours. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Why, wet her :33 except >w< befowe ^w^ excepted. 
MARIA. Ay, >_> but xDD you ^w^ must UwU confinye >_> youwsewf within x3 the :3 modest :3 wimits 
of ^-^ owdew. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_< Confinye! I'll UwU confinye mysewf nyo finer than UwU I am. ;;w;; These 
x3 cwothes OwO awe ÚwÚ good enough to ÚwÚ dwink x3 in, ÚwÚ and UwU so be these ÚwÚ boots :3 too; 
>w< an ;;w;; they be >_> nyot, wet them ^w^ hang x3 themsewves uWu in uWu theiw UwU own :33 stwaps. 
MARIA. :33 That ;;w;; quaffing ÚwÚ and UwU dwinking xDD wiww undo uWu you; UwU I heard x3 my uWu wady 
tawk of >w< it ^.^ yestewday, ÚwÚ and of :3 a >_< foowish knight :3 that xDD you ^.^ bwought uWu in 
one >w< nyight OwO hewe to be her ^-^ wooew. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. uWu Who? Sir Andrew >_> Aguecheek? 
MARIA. Ay, he. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. He's >_< as ;;w;; taww :3 a x3 man >_< as ^.^ any's uWu in ^w^ Iwwywia. 
MARIA. x3 What's :3 that to x3 th' purpose? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Why, ^.^ he >_> has >w< thwee thousand ;;w;; ducats :3 a year. 
MARIA. Ay, >_> but he'ww uWu have >_> but :3 a xDD yeaw uWu in aww these ducats; uWu he's :3 a 
xDD vewy >w< foow ÚwÚ and :3 a uWu pwodigaw. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >w< Fie :3 that you'ww >_> say so! >w< He plays ^.^ o' x3 th' viow-de-gamboys, 
ÚwÚ and xDD speaks >w< thwee ow fouw wanguages ;;w;; wowd fow ;;w;; wowd ^-^ without ^-^ book, 
ÚwÚ and hath aww x3 the ÚwÚ good ^.^ gifts of :33 nyatuwe. 
MARIA. >w< He hath :33 indeed, almost nyatuwaw; for, ;;w;; besides :3 that uWu he's :3 a 
x3 foow, uWu he's :3 a great quawwewwew; ÚwÚ and >_> but :3 that ^.^ he hath x3 the ^w^ gift of :3 a 
x3 cowawd to allay x3 the :3 gust ^.^ he hath uWu in ^-^ quawwewwing, UwU 'tis xDD thought 
^-^ among x3 the x3 pwudent ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd quickly uWu have x3 the ^w^ gift of :3 a x3 gwave. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu hand, ;;w;; they OwO awe scoundrels ÚwÚ and ;;w;; subtwactows :3 that 
>_> say UwU so of ^.^ him. Who OwO awe >w< they? 
MARIA. ^-^ They :3 that ^.^ add, ^w^ moweuvw, uWu he's UwU dwunk xDD nyightwy uWu in x3 youw UwU company. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. With UwU dwinking :33 heawths to x3 my >_> nyiece; I'll ÚwÚ dwink to her >_< as 
^-^ wong >_< as there >_> is :3 a uWu passage uWu in x3 my ^w^ thwoat ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ dwink uWu in ^w^ Iwwywia. 
He's :3 a x3 cowawd ÚwÚ and :3 a ^w^ coystwiww :3 that xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ dwink to x3 my uWu nyiece 
>w< tiww :33 his brains turn ^.^ o' x3 th' toe ^.^ wike :3 a >_< pawish-top. What, ^-^ wench! 
^w^ Castiwianyo ;;w;; vuwgo! fow OwO hewe x3 comes Sir Andrew xDD Agueface. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW ANDWEW :33 AGUECHEEK 

;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Sir Toby Bewch! How now, Sir Toby Bewch! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ÚwÚ Sweet Sir Andwew! 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. :3 Bwess UwU you, >w< faiw ^.^ shwew. 
MARIA. xDD And xDD you :3 too, sir. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ;;w;; Accost, Sir Andrew, >_> accost. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. x3 What's ^-^ that? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO My ^-^ nyiece's ^-^ chambewmaid. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^-^ Good Mistress ;;w;; Accost, UwU I ^.^ desiwe xDD bettew ÚwÚ acquaintance. 
MARIA. OwO My xDD nyame >_> is Mawy, sir. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^-^ Good Mistress ^-^ Mawy Accost- 
ÚwÚ SIW :3 Toby. >_> You ;;w;; mistake, knyight. OwO 'Accost' >_> is >w< fwont hew, ÚwÚ boawd hew, 
^.^ woo hew, OwO assaiw her. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^-^ By x3 my troth, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot undewtake her uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU company. 
Is :3 that x3 the meaning of :33 'accost'? 
MARIA. >w< Fawe xDD you weww, >_< gentwemen. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^-^ An xDD thou wet ÚwÚ pawt >_> so, Sir Andrew, ^.^ wouwd xDD thou ÚwÚ mightst >_< nyevew 
dwaw xDD swowd x3 again! 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^-^ An xDD you ÚwÚ pawt >_> so, ^-^ mistwess, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^w^ might >_< nyevew dwaw 
xDD swowd ;;w;; again. Faiw UwU wady, UwU do xDD you think xDD you uWu have foows uWu in hand? 
MARIA. UwU Siw, UwU I uWu have nyot xDD you ^.^ by x3 th' >w< hand. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. OwO Mawwy, >_> but xDD you UwU shaww uWu have; ÚwÚ and hewe's x3 my >w< hand. 
MARIA. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, xDD thought >_> is >w< fwee. UwU I pray UwU you, ;;w;; bwing x3 youw uWu hand to 
x3 th' xDD buttwy-baw ÚwÚ and wet >w< it ^-^ dwink. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. >_> Whewefowe, UwU sweetheawt? x3 What's x3 youw metaphow? 
MARIA. x3 It's ^.^ dwy, sir. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Why, UwU I think so; UwU I ^w^ am nyot xDD such >w< an >w< ass >_> but UwU I ^.^ can >_< keep x3 my 
uWu hand >_< dwy. OwO But UwU what's x3 youw UwU jest? 
MARIA. ^-^ A xDD dwy ^.^ jest, sir. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^w^ Awe xDD you full of them? 
MARIA. Ay, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu have them uWu at x3 my fingews' ;;w;; ends; marry, nyow UwU I wet 
OwO go x3 youw uWu hand, UwU I ^w^ am bawwen. uWu Exit >w< MAWIA 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. x3 O UwU knyight, xDD thou x3 wack'st :3 a >w< cup of UwU canyawy! x3 When uWu did UwU I >_> see 
uWu thee UwU so put down? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. xDD Nyevew uWu in x3 youw :3 wife, UwU I >_> think; ^w^ unwess xDD you >_> see uWu canyawy put 
;;w;; me down. Methinks x3 sometimes UwU I uWu have nyo ^.^ mowe wit than :3 a Christian 
ow >w< an ordinary x3 man uWu has; >_> but UwU I ^w^ am great eatew of beef, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
^-^ bewieve :3 that does x3 hawm to x3 my >_< wit. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. No x3 question. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^-^ An UwU I xDD thought :3 that, ;;w;; I'd >w< fowsweaw :3 it. I'll uWu wide ^.^ home 
^.^ to-mowwow, Sir :3 Toby. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD Pouwquoi, x3 my uWu deaw knyight? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. >_> What >_> is 'pourquoi'- UwU do ow nyot ^-^ do? UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had uWu bestowed 
:3 that time uWu in x3 the tongues :3 that UwU I uWu have uWu in ^.^ fencing, ;;w;; dancing, ÚwÚ and 
bear-baiting. OwO Oh, xDD had UwU I >_> but fowwowed x3 the arts! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU Then >w< hadst xDD thou xDD had >w< an :3 excewwent >_> head of >w< haiw. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Why, ^.^ wouwd :3 that uWu have mended x3 my hair? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^w^ Past OwO question; fow xDD thou seest >w< it xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ cuww ^.^ by :33 nyatuwe. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. OwO But >w< it x3 becomes ;;w;; me weww UwU enyough, OwO does't ^w^ nyot? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Excellent; >w< it uWu hangs ^.^ wike fwax on :3 a >w< distaff, ÚwÚ and UwU I UwU hope to 
>_> see :3 a uWu huswife OwO take uWu thee ^-^ between her UwU wegs ÚwÚ and x3 spin >w< it off. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Faith, I'll ^.^ home ^.^ to-mowwow, Sir :3 Toby. uWu Youw uWu nyiece xDD wiww 
nyot be uWu seen, ow >_> if ^.^ she be, x3 it's fouw to one ^.^ she'ww >_< nyonye of OwO me; 
x3 the xDD Count >_< himsewf OwO hewe x3 hawd ^.^ by OwO woos her. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO She'ww >_< nyonye ^.^ o' x3 th' :33 Count; ^.^ she'ww nyot >_< match :33 abuv her 
>_< degwee, :3 nyeithew uWu in x3 estate, years, nor >_> wit; UwU I uWu have heard her 
OwO sweaw't. Tut, there's >w< wife OwO in't, man. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. I'll xDD stay :3 a >_> month wongew. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a fewwow ^.^ o' x3 th' stwangest 
^-^ mind :33 i' x3 th' wowwd; UwU I delight uWu in ^w^ masques ÚwÚ and :3 wevews x3 sometimes 
:33 awtogethew. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Awt xDD thou ÚwÚ good uWu at these kickshawses, knyight? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ;;w;; As xDD any x3 man uWu in uWu Iwwywia, ^-^ whatsoevew ^.^ he be, :33 undew x3 the 
degwee of x3 my x3 bettews; ÚwÚ and yet UwU I xDD wiww nyot compare with >w< an ;;w;; owd man. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_> What >_> is >w< thy excewwence uWu in :3 a gawwiawd, knyight? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Faith, UwU I ^.^ can :3 cut :3 a caper. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD And UwU I ^.^ can :3 cut x3 the UwU mutton to't. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. xDD And UwU I think UwU I uWu have x3 the UwU back-twick simply >_< as >w< stwong >_< as 
xDD any x3 man uWu in ^w^ Iwwywia. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ÚwÚ Whewefowe OwO awe these ^.^ things ^-^ hid? ÚwÚ Whewefowe uWu have these 
^.^ gifts :3 a ^-^ cuwtain >w< befowe OwO 'em? ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they ^.^ wike to OwO take :33 dust, ^.^ wike 
Mistress ^w^ Maww's :33 pictuwe? Why dost xDD thou nyot OwO go to ^-^ chuwch uWu in :3 a 
^w^ gawwiawd ÚwÚ and come ^.^ home uWu in :3 a coranto? OwO My xDD vewy UwU wawk >_> shouwd be :3 a 
OwO jig; UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU so much >_< as >_< make UwU watew >_> but uWu in :3 a uWu sink-a-pace. >_> What 
dost xDD thou ^.^ mean? Is >w< it :3 a wowwd to hide uWu viwtues in? UwU I uWu did >_< think, ^.^ by 
x3 the :3 excewwent ÚwÚ constitution of >w< thy ^-^ weg, >w< it UwU was UwU fowm'd :33 undew x3 the 
:33 staw of :3 a >w< gawwiawd. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Ay, UwU 'tis :33 stwong, ÚwÚ and >w< it does uWu indiffewent weww uWu in 
^w^ fwame-cowouw'd :3 stock. Shall ^.^ we uWu set about x3 some revels? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_> What UwU shaww ^.^ we UwU do else? ^.^ Wewe ^.^ we nyot bown :33 undew Taurus? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Taurus? >w< That's >w< sides ÚwÚ and ;;w;; heawt. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :3 Nyo, siw; >w< it >_> is UwU wegs ÚwÚ and ^.^ thighs. Let ;;w;; me >_> see x3 the caper. >w< Ha, 
x3 highew! >w< Ha, ha, excellent! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
uWu The >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ÚwÚ VAWENTINyE, ÚwÚ and VIOLA uWu in :33 man's attiwe 

VALENTINE. ;;w;; If x3 the >w< Duke >w< continyue these ;;w;; favouws uWu towawds UwU you, ;;w;; Cesawio, 
xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wike to be much >_< advanc'd; ^.^ he hath ÚwÚ knyown xDD you >_> but >w< thwee 
uWu days, ÚwÚ and xDD awweady xDD you OwO awe nyo stranger. 
>_> VIOWA. >_> You xDD eithew feaw :33 his humouw ow x3 my >_> nyegwigence, :3 that xDD you caww 
uWu in ;;w;; question x3 the ^.^ continyuance of :33 his love. Is ^.^ he inconstant, ^w^ siw, 
uWu in :33 his >_> favouws? 
VALENTINE. :3 Nyo, ^-^ bewieve x3 me. 

Entew ^w^ DUKE, CUWIO, ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

>_> VIOWA. UwU I >_> thank OwO you. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the xDD Count. 
x3 DUKE. Who saw ;;w;; Cesawio, ho? 
>_> VIOWA. On x3 youw OwO attendance, x3 my uWu wowd, hewe. 
x3 DUKE. ;;w;; Stand xDD you ^-^ awhiwe :33 awoof. ;;w;; Cesawio, 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st nyo less >_> but aww; UwU I uWu have ^.^ uncwasp'd 
;;w;; To uWu thee x3 the ^w^ book even of x3 my secret ^-^ souw. 
>_< Thewefowe, ÚwÚ good youth, address >w< thy :33 gait >w< unto >w< hew; 
^w^ Be nyot >w< denyied ÚwÚ access, stand uWu at her doows, 
xDD And tell them there >w< thy xDD fixed :33 foot UwU shaww gwow 
Tiww xDD thou uWu have audience. 
>_> VIOWA. Sure, x3 my x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, 
;;w;; If ^.^ she be UwU so ÚwÚ abandon'd to her sorrow 
;;w;; As >w< it >_> is ;;w;; spoke, ^.^ she >_< nyevew xDD wiww ^w^ admit x3 me. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Be ;;w;; cwamowous ÚwÚ and ^-^ weap aww ÚwÚ civiw UwU bounds, 
Rather than >_< make ^-^ unpwofited wetuwn. 
>_> VIOWA. x3 Say UwU I UwU do speak with hew, x3 my uWu wowd, >_> what ^w^ then? 
x3 DUKE. >_< O, xDD then ^w^ unfowd x3 the passion of x3 my xDD wuv, 
uWu Suwpwise her with uWu discouwse of x3 my uWu deaw >_< faith! 
^.^ It UwU shaww :33 become uWu thee weww to ;;w;; act x3 my ÚwÚ woes: 
:33 She xDD wiww >_< attend >w< it xDD bettew uWu in >w< thy :33 youth 
Than uWu in :3 a nyuncio's of ^.^ mowe :3 gwave >_< aspect. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I think nyot >_> so, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. >_< Deaw lad, ^-^ bewieve :33 it, 
For ;;w;; they UwU shaww yet belie >w< thy ^w^ happy years 
:33 That >_> say xDD thou awt :3 a ^w^ man: Diana's >_< wip 
Is nyot ^.^ mowe x3 smooth ÚwÚ and uWu wubious; >w< thy UwU smaww :33 pipe 
Is >_< as x3 the maiden's x3 owgan, >_> shwiww ÚwÚ and sound, 
xDD And aww >_> is sembwative :3 a xDD woman's part. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< thy uWu constewwation >_> is >w< wight ^-^ apt 
For ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ affaiw. ;;w;; Some fouw ow five >_< attend uWu him- 
Aww, >_> if xDD you :33 wiww, fow UwU I mysewf ^w^ am best 
x3 When least uWu in UwU company. :33 Pwospew weww uWu in uWu this, 
xDD And xDD thou shalt ^w^ wive >_< as freely >_< as >w< thy ;;w;; wowd 
;;w;; To caww :33 his fowtunyes ÚwÚ thinye. 
>_> VIOWA. I'll UwU do x3 my best 
;;w;; To ^.^ woo x3 youw >_> wady. :3 [Aside] Yet, :3 a >_< bawfuw stwife! 
Whoe'er UwU I woo, mysewf ^.^ wouwd be :33 his x3 wife. 




>w< SCENyE V. 
OWIVIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew >w< MAWIA ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

MARIA. Nyay, xDD eithew tell ;;w;; me :3 whewe xDD thou x3 hast ^-^ been, ow UwU I xDD wiww nyot open 
x3 my lips UwU so uWu wide >_< as :3 a xDD bwistwe OwO may enter uWu in uWu way of >w< thy OwO excuse; x3 my 
uWu wady xDD wiww ^w^ hang uWu thee fow >w< thy OwO absence. 
uWu CWOWN. Let her ^w^ hang x3 me. >w< He :3 that >_> is weww :33 hang'd uWu in ÚwÚ this wowwd >_< nyeeds 
to feaw nyo xDD cowouws. 
MARIA. ^-^ Make :3 that UwU good. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< He UwU shaww >_> see >_< nyonye to ;;w;; feaw. 
MARIA. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good ^.^ wenten answer. UwU I ^.^ can tell uWu thee :3 whewe :3 that :3 saying UwU was 
born, of ÚwÚ 'I feaw nyo xDD cowouws.' 
uWu CWOWN. UwU Whewe, ÚwÚ good Mistress Mary? 
MARIA. ^w^ In x3 the x3 waws; ÚwÚ and :3 that OwO may xDD you be bold to >_> say uWu in x3 youw 
UwU foowewy. 
uWu CWOWN. xDD Weww, ^w^ God UwU give them ^.^ wisdom :3 that uWu have uWu it; ÚwÚ and UwU those :3 that OwO awe 
:3 foows, wet them use uWu theiw xDD tawents. 
MARIA. ÚwÚ Yet xDD you xDD wiww be :33 hang'd fow ^.^ being UwU so ^-^ wong ^-^ absent; ow to be 
>_> tuwn'd UwU away- >_> is nyot :3 that >_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as :3 a >_< hanging to you? 
uWu CWOWN. xDD Many :3 a ÚwÚ good >_< hanging ^.^ pwevents :3 a :33 bad mawwiage; ÚwÚ and fow ;;w;; tuwnying 
away, wet ^-^ summew UwU beaw >w< it OwO out. 
MARIA. >_> You OwO awe wesowute, ^w^ then? 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, UwU nyeithew; >_> but UwU I ^w^ am :3 wesowv'd on >w< two :33 points. 
MARIA. :33 That >_> if one break, x3 the othew xDD wiww howd; ow >_> if both break, 
x3 youw ^-^ gaskins UwU faww. 
uWu CWOWN. uWu Apt, uWu in ÚwÚ good ^w^ faith, xDD vewy uWu apt! xDD Weww, OwO go >w< thy way; >_> if Sir Toby 
^.^ wouwd OwO weave OwO dwinking, xDD thou OwO wewt >_< as ^.^ witty :3 a ^.^ piece of >_< Eve's >w< fwesh 
>_< as xDD any uWu in ^w^ Iwwywia. 
MARIA. uWu Peace, xDD you :33 wogue, nyo ^.^ mowe ^.^ o' x3 that. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my >_> wady. ^-^ Make 
x3 youw UwU excuse wisely, xDD you :3 wewe >_> best. uWu Exit 

Entew OLIVIA ÚwÚ and x3 MAWVOWIO 

uWu CWOWN. ;;w;; Wit, UwU an't be >w< thy :33 wiww, put ;;w;; me x3 into ÚwÚ good fooling! >w< Those :33 wits 
:3 that think ;;w;; they uWu have uWu thee UwU do xDD vewy ;;w;; oft ^-^ pwuv uWu foows; ÚwÚ and UwU I :3 that ^w^ am 
>_< suwe UwU I ^.^ wack uWu thee OwO may pass fow :3 a uWu wise man. For >_> what ;;w;; says 
Quinapalus? >_< 'Bettew :3 a ^.^ witty >w< foow than :3 a >_< foowish x3 wit.' ^w^ God ;;w;; bwess 
ÚwÚ thee, :33 wady! 
OLIVIA. ^.^ Take x3 the >w< foow xDD away. 
uWu CWOWN. Do xDD you nyot heaw, fewwows? ^.^ Take OwO away x3 the >_> wady. 
OLIVIA. Go ^.^ to, ;;w;; y'awe :3 a xDD dwy foow; I'll nyo ^.^ mowe of OwO you. :33 Besides, xDD you 
gwow UwU dishonyest. 
uWu CWOWN. Two fauwts, >_< madonnya, :3 that ÚwÚ dwink ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good counsel xDD wiww >_> amend; 
fow UwU give x3 the xDD dwy >w< foow dwink, xDD then >_> is x3 the >w< foow nyot >_< dwy. x3 Bid x3 the 
;;w;; dishonyest x3 man mend >_> himsewf: >_> if ^.^ he >_> mend, ^.^ he >_> is nyo longer 
dishonest; >_> if ^.^ he cannot, wet x3 the botcher mend ^.^ him. :3 Anything 
^w^ that's mended >_> is >_> but patch'd; viwtue :3 that uWu twansgwesses >_> is >_> but 
^-^ patch'd with ^w^ sin, ÚwÚ and x3 sin :3 that x3 amends >_> is >_> but ^-^ patch'd with ÚwÚ viwtue. 
;;w;; If :3 that ÚwÚ this :33 simpwe syllogism xDD wiww OwO sewve, so; >_> if >w< it xDD wiww >_> nyot, 
>_> what remedy? ;;w;; As there >_> is nyo true cuckold >_> but :3 cawamity, UwU so 
beauty's :3 a >_< fwowew. uWu The uWu wady ;;w;; bade OwO take OwO away x3 the foow; OwO thewefowe, UwU I 
>_> say OwO again, OwO take her xDD away. 
OLIVIA. UwU Siw, UwU I ;;w;; bade them OwO take OwO away OwO you. 
uWu CWOWN. >_< Mispwision uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ highest degwee! Lady, :3 'Cucuwwus uWu nyon OwO facit 
monachum'; ^w^ that's >_< as much to >_> say >_< as UwU I ^-^ weaw nyot motwey uWu in x3 my 
:33 bwain. ^-^ Good >_< madonnya, UwU give ;;w;; me OwO weave to ^-^ pwuv xDD you :3 a xDD foow. 
OLIVIA. UwU Can xDD you UwU do :33 it? 
uWu CWOWN. Dextewiouswy, ÚwÚ good madonna. 
OLIVIA. ^-^ Make x3 youw :33 pwoof. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ^w^ must UwU catechize xDD you fow :33 it, madonna. 
^-^ Good x3 my ^-^ mouse of virtue, answew x3 me. 
OLIVIA. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, fow ^.^ want of othew idwenyess, I'll bide x3 youw 
:33 pwoof. 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Good >_< madonnya, >w< why :3 mouwn'st thou? 
OLIVIA. ^-^ Good x3 foow, fow x3 my brother's death. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I think :33 his :3 souw >_> is uWu in >_> heww, madonna. 
OLIVIA. UwU I ^.^ knyow :33 his :3 souw >_> is uWu in ^.^ heaven, xDD foow. 
uWu CWOWN. uWu The ^.^ mowe x3 foow, >_< madonnya, to mouwn fow x3 youw brother's :3 souw 
^.^ being uWu in UwU heaven. ^.^ Take OwO away x3 the x3 foow, >_< gentwemen. 
OLIVIA. >_> What think xDD you of ÚwÚ this x3 foow, >_> Mawvowio? ^-^ Doth ^.^ he nyot UwU mend? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Yes, ÚwÚ and UwU shaww UwU do, >w< tiww x3 the x3 pangs of :33 death ;;w;; shake ^.^ him. 
Infirmity, :3 that UwU decays x3 the >_< wise, xDD doth OwO evew >_< make x3 the xDD bettew xDD foow. 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ God >_> send UwU you, ^w^ siw, :3 a UwU speedy infirmity, fow x3 the xDD bettew 
increasing x3 youw xDD fowwy! Sir Toby xDD wiww be sworn :3 that UwU I ^w^ am nyo :3 fox; 
>_> but ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot pass :33 his ;;w;; wowd fow x3 twopence :3 that xDD you OwO awe nyo xDD foow. 
OLIVIA. How >_> say xDD you to :3 that, >_> Mawvowio? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. UwU I :3 mawvew x3 youw >w< wadyship UwU takes delight uWu in xDD such :3 a ^-^ bawwen 
^-^ wascaw; UwU I saw ^.^ him put down x3 the othew day with >w< an ordinary >w< foow 
:3 that >_> has nyo ^.^ mowe :3 bwain than :3 a uWu stonye. Wook xDD you now, uWu he's x3 out of 
:33 his xDD guawd already; ^w^ unwess xDD you laugh ÚwÚ and xDD minyistew ;;w;; occasion to :3 him, 
^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; gagg'd. UwU I ^w^ pwotest UwU I OwO take these uWu wise ;;w;; men :3 that x3 cwow UwU so uWu at 
these uWu set uWu kind of foows nyo xDD bettew than x3 the UwU foows' zanies. 
OLIVIA. >_< O, xDD you OwO awe >w< sick of self-love, Malvolio, ÚwÚ and >_> taste with :3 a 
^.^ distempew'd ÚwÚ appetite. ;;w;; To be x3 genyewous, guiwtwess, ÚwÚ and of fwee 
uWu disposition, >_> is to OwO take UwU those ^.^ things fow uWu biwd-bowts :3 that xDD you >w< deem 
cannon >w< buwwets. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo ^-^ swandew uWu in >w< an UwU awwow'd x3 foow, ^w^ though ^.^ he 
UwU do >_< nyothing >_> but rail; nor nyo x3 waiwing uWu in ÚwÚ knyown >w< discweet ^w^ man, ^w^ though 
^.^ he UwU do >_< nyothing >_> but x3 wepwuv. 
uWu CWOWN. Now :33 Mewcuwy endue uWu thee with leasing, fow xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st weww 
of uWu foows! 

^.^ We-entew >w< MAWIA 

MARIA. uWu Madam, there >_> is uWu at x3 the uWu gate :3 a xDD young ÚwÚ gentweman much desiwes 
to speak with OwO you. 
OLIVIA. Fwom x3 the xDD Count Orsino, >_> is :33 it? 
MARIA. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, x3 madam; UwU 'tis :3 a >w< faiw xDD young ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and weww ÚwÚ attended. 
OLIVIA. Who of x3 my OwO peopwe howd ^.^ him uWu in >_> deway? 
MARIA. Sir Toby, UwU madam, x3 youw kinsman. 
OLIVIA. ^-^ Fetch ^.^ him ^w^ off, UwU I pray uWu you; ^.^ he xDD speaks >_< nyothing >_> but >_> madman. 
>w< Fie on x3 him! ;;w;; [Exit uWu MAWIA] Go UwU you, ;;w;; Mawvowio: >_> if >w< it be :3 a >_> suit from 
x3 the ^.^ Count, UwU I ^w^ am :33 sick, ow nyot uWu at home- >_> what xDD you xDD wiww to dismiss 
:3 it. ;;w;; [Exit MAWVOWIO] Now xDD you see, ^w^ siw, >w< how x3 youw ;;w;; foowing gwows :3 owd, 
ÚwÚ and OwO peopwe :33 diswike :3 it. 
uWu CWOWN. ^.^ Thou x3 hast ^-^ spoke fow us, >_< madonnya, >_< as >_> if >w< thy eldest >_< son >_> shouwd 
be :3 a foow; x3 whose OwO skuww Juv ;;w;; cwam with OwO bwains! For- OwO hewe ^.^ he comes- 
one of >w< thy ^-^ kin >_> has :3 a UwU most xDD weak >_< pia ÚwÚ matew. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW TOBY 

OLIVIA. ^-^ By >_< minye honyouw, half >w< dwunk! >_> What >_> is ^.^ he uWu at x3 the >_< gate, cousin? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^-^ A :3 gentweman. 
OLIVIA. ^-^ A gentleman! >_> What gentleman? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. 'Tis :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman hewe. :33 [Hiccups] ^-^ A pwague ^.^ o' these 
pickwe-hewwing! How now, :3 sot! 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Good Sir ^-^ Toby! 
OLIVIA. Cousin, OwO cousin, >w< how uWu have xDD you come UwU so early ^.^ by ÚwÚ this 
ÚwÚ wethawgy? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Lechery! UwU I ^.^ defy ;;w;; wechewy. >_> Thewe's one uWu at x3 the uWu gate. 
OLIVIA. Ay, marry; >_> what >_> is uWu he? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Let ^.^ him be x3 the ^.^ deviw >w< an ^.^ he :33 wiww, UwU I :3 cawe x3 nyot; UwU give ;;w;; me 
^w^ faith, >_> say ^.^ I. xDD Weww, x3 it's aww onye. uWu Exit 
OLIVIA. x3 What's :3 a ^w^ dwunken x3 man :3 wike, ^.^ foow? 
uWu CWOWN. Wike :3 a >w< dwown'd ^w^ man, :3 a x3 foow, ÚwÚ and :3 a ^w^ madman: one ^w^ dwaught :33 abuv 
^.^ heat x3 makes ^.^ him :3 a foow; x3 the second ^-^ mads him; ÚwÚ and :3 a thiwd dwowns 
^.^ him. 
OLIVIA. Go xDD thou ÚwÚ and >_> seek x3 the uWu cwownyew, ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him sit ^.^ o' x3 my ÚwÚ coz; 
fow uWu he's uWu in x3 the thiwd degwee of dwink, uWu he's drown'd; OwO go wook 
ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ him. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< He >_> is >_> but ^-^ mad ^w^ yet, >_< madonnya, ÚwÚ and x3 the >w< foow UwU shaww wook to x3 the 
>_> madman. uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew x3 MAWVOWIO 

:33 MAWVOWIO. uWu Madam, :33 yond xDD young fewwow ÚwÚ sweaws ^.^ he xDD wiww speak with OwO you. UwU I 
told ^.^ him xDD you :3 wewe xDD sick; ^.^ he UwU takes on ^.^ him to understand UwU so ÚwÚ much, 
ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe x3 comes to speak with OwO you. UwU I told ^.^ him xDD you :3 wewe 
x3 asweep; ^.^ he ;;w;; seems to uWu have :3 a foreknowledge of :3 that :3 too, ÚwÚ and 
>_< thewefowe x3 comes to speak with OwO you. >_> What >_> is to be uWu said to :3 him, 
x3 wady? He's fortified OwO against xDD any OwO denyiaw. 
OLIVIA. Teww ^.^ him ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot speak with x3 me. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. x3 Has :33 been told so; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ;;w;; says he'ww stand uWu at x3 youw doow 
^.^ wike :3 a sheriff's ÚwÚ post, ÚwÚ and be x3 the x3 suppowtew to :3 a ^.^ bench, >_> but he'ww 
speak with OwO you. 
OLIVIA. >_> What uWu kind ^.^ o' x3 man >_> is uWu he? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Why, of mankind. 
OLIVIA. >_> What ^w^ mannyew of man? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Of xDD vewy :33 iww :3 mannyew; he'ww speak with UwU you, xDD wiww xDD you ow >w< nyo. 
OLIVIA. Of >_> what pewsonyage ÚwÚ and years >_> is uWu he? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ÚwÚ Nyot yet ;;w;; owd enough fow :3 a ^w^ man, nor xDD young enough fow :3 a ^.^ boy; 
>_< as :3 a >_> squash >_> is >w< befowe UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; peascod, ow :3 a codling when UwU 'tis 
almost >w< an apple; UwU 'tis with ^.^ him uWu in >_< standing >_< watew, ^-^ between ;;w;; boy ÚwÚ and 
man. >w< He >_> is xDD vewy weww-favouw'd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he xDD speaks xDD vewy shwewishwy; one 
^.^ wouwd think :33 his ;;w;; mothew's milk :3 wewe scawce x3 out of ^.^ him. 
OLIVIA. Let ^.^ him ;;w;; appwoach. ;;w;; Caww uWu in x3 my gentlewoman. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Gentwewoman, x3 my uWu wady calls. uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew >w< MAWIA 

OLIVIA. Give ;;w;; me x3 my >_< veiw; come, ^-^ thwow >w< it ^-^ o'ew x3 my face; 
^-^ We'ww >_> once ^.^ mowe hear :33 Owsinyo's >_< embassy. 

Entew VIOLA 

>_> VIOWA. uWu The ^.^ honyouwabwe uWu wady of x3 the house, which >_> is >_< she? 
OLIVIA. ^w^ Speak to OwO me; UwU I UwU shaww answew fow her. uWu Youw xDD wiww? 
>_> VIOWA. :3 Most xDD wadiant, exquisite, ÚwÚ and unmatchable ;;w;; beauty- UwU I pray xDD you 
tell ;;w;; me >_> if ÚwÚ this be x3 the uWu wady of x3 the house, fow UwU I >_< nyevew saw her. UwU I 
^.^ wouwd be loath to ;;w;; cast OwO away x3 my OwO speech; for, ;;w;; besides :3 that >w< it >_> is 
^.^ excewwentwy weww OwO penn'd, UwU I uWu have :33 taken great ^w^ pains to UwU con :3 it. ^-^ Good 
:33 beauties, wet ;;w;; me >_< sustain nyo scorn; UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy comptible, even to 
x3 the least sinyistew ^w^ usage. 
OLIVIA. OwO Whence ^-^ came UwU you, UwU siw? 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I ^.^ can >_> say xDD wittwe ^.^ mowe than UwU I uWu have xDD studied, ÚwÚ and :3 that 
^w^ question's x3 out of x3 my part. ^-^ Good ^-^ gentwe one, UwU give ;;w;; me :3 modest 
assurance >_> if xDD you be x3 the uWu wady of x3 the house, :3 that UwU I OwO may proceed uWu in 
x3 my :33 speech. 
OLIVIA. ^w^ Awe xDD you :3 a x3 comedian? 
>_> VIOWA. :3 Nyo, x3 my profound heawt; ÚwÚ and ^w^ yet, ^.^ by x3 the xDD vewy fangs of malice 
UwU I x3 sweaw, UwU I ^w^ am nyot :3 that UwU I play. ^w^ Awe xDD you x3 the uWu wady of x3 the >_> house? 
OLIVIA. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do nyot usuwp myself, UwU I am. 
>_> VIOWA. :3 Most cewtain, >_> if xDD you OwO awe uWu she, xDD you UwU do usuwp :33 youwsewf; fow 
>_> what >_> is >_> youws to bestow >_> is nyot >_> youws to >_> wesewve. OwO But ÚwÚ this >_> is from 
x3 my xDD commission. UwU I xDD wiww on with x3 my ÚwÚ speech uWu in x3 youw >_< pwaise, ÚwÚ and xDD then 
x3 show xDD you x3 the >_< heawt of x3 my uWu message. 
OLIVIA. :3 Come to >_> what >_> is important ÚwÚ in't. UwU I :33 fowgive xDD you x3 the ;;w;; pwaise. 
>_> VIOWA. ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I >_> took great ^w^ pains to ^-^ study :33 it, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis poeticaw. 
OLIVIA. ^.^ It >_> is x3 the ^.^ mowe ^.^ wike to be :3 feignyed; UwU I pray xDD you >_< keep >w< it ^.^ in. UwU I 
heard xDD you :3 wewe ^w^ saucy uWu at x3 my ^.^ gates, ÚwÚ and UwU awwow'd x3 youw appwoach 
rather to wonder uWu at xDD you than to hear OwO you. ;;w;; If xDD you be nyot mad, be 
xDD gonye; >_> if xDD you uWu have weason, be bwief; UwU 'tis nyot :3 that time of ;;w;; moon 
with ;;w;; me to >_< make one uWu in UwU so ^.^ skipping ^-^ diawogue. 
MARIA. Will xDD you hoist sail, UwU siw? :3 Hewe wies x3 youw >_> way. 
>_> VIOWA. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ good :33 swabbew, UwU I ^w^ am to >_< huww OwO hewe :3 a xDD wittwe wongew. 
;;w;; Some ^w^ mowwification fow x3 youw UwU giant, x3 sweet >_> wady. 
OLIVIA. Teww ;;w;; me x3 youw :33 mind. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :3 messengew. 
OLIVIA. Sure, xDD you uWu have x3 some ^-^ hideous ;;w;; mattew to x3 dewivew, when x3 the 
>w< couwtesy of >w< it >_> is UwU so fearful. ^w^ Speak x3 youw ^w^ office. 
>_> VIOWA. ^.^ It awonye uWu concewns x3 youw :3 eaw. UwU I ;;w;; bwing nyo ^.^ uvwtuwe of waw, nyo 
taxation of OwO homage: UwU I howd x3 the UwU owive uWu in x3 my xDD hand; x3 my wowds OwO awe >_< as 
full of uWu peace >_< as :3 mattew. 
OLIVIA. ÚwÚ Yet xDD you began ^.^ wudewy. >_> What OwO awe you? >_> What ^.^ wouwd you? 
>_> VIOWA. uWu The wudenyess :3 that hath appear'd uWu in ;;w;; me uWu have UwU I weawn'd from x3 my 
>w< entewtainment. >_> What UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ and >_> what UwU I ^.^ wouwd OwO awe >_< as secret >_< as 
:33 maidenhead- to x3 youw cars, divinity; to xDD any >w< othew's, pwofanyation. 
OLIVIA. Give >_> us x3 the :33 pwace ^.^ awonye; ^.^ we xDD wiww hear ÚwÚ this >w< divinyity. 
UwU [Exeunt >w< MAWIA ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ ATTENDANTS] >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, >_> what >_> is x3 youw ^-^ text? 
>_> VIOWA. :3 Most x3 sweet lady- 
OLIVIA. ^-^ A >w< comfowtabwe >_< doctwinye, ÚwÚ and much OwO may be uWu said of :3 it. 
Whewe wies x3 youw ^-^ text? 
>_> VIOWA. ^w^ In :33 Owsinyo's ÚwÚ bosom. 
OLIVIA. ^w^ In :33 his uWu bosom! ^w^ In >_> what UwU chaptew of :33 his ^w^ bosom? 
>_> VIOWA. ;;w;; To answew ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ method: uWu in x3 the xDD fiwst of :33 his ;;w;; heawt. 
OLIVIA. >_< O, UwU I uWu have ^w^ wead uWu it; >w< it >_> is :33 hewesy. :3 Have xDD you nyo ^.^ mowe to ^.^ say? 
>_> VIOWA. ^-^ Good UwU madam, wet ;;w;; me >_> see x3 youw ;;w;; face. 
OLIVIA. :3 Have xDD you xDD any OwO commission from x3 youw ;;w;; wowd to :33 nyegotiate with x3 my 
^.^ face? >_> You OwO awe nyow x3 out of x3 youw text; >_> but ^.^ we xDD wiww dwaw x3 the ^-^ cuwtain 
ÚwÚ and x3 show xDD you x3 the x3 pictuwe. >w< [Unveiwing] Wook UwU you, ^w^ siw, xDD such :3 a one UwU I 
UwU was ÚwÚ this :33 pwesent. ^-^ Is't nyot weww done? 
>_> VIOWA. uWu Excewwentwy :33 donye, >_> if ^w^ God uWu did all. 
OLIVIA. 'Tis uWu in ^w^ gwain, siw; 'twill OwO enduwe wind ÚwÚ and weather. 
>_> VIOWA. 'Tis beauty :33 twuwy blent, x3 whose red ÚwÚ and ^-^ white 
Nyatuwe's UwU own x3 sweet ÚwÚ and x3 cunnying uWu hand laid :3 on. 
Lady, xDD you OwO awe x3 the >_< cwueww'st ^.^ she ^.^ awive, 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww lead these uWu gwaces to x3 the ^-^ gwave, 
xDD And OwO weave x3 the wowwd nyo copy. 
OLIVIA. >_< O, ^w^ siw, UwU I xDD wiww nyot be UwU so >_> hawd-heawted; UwU I xDD wiww UwU give x3 out 
divers >_< scheduwes of x3 my beauty. ^.^ It UwU shaww be inventowied, ÚwÚ and every 
:33 pawticwe ÚwÚ and utensil uWu wabeww'd to x3 my OwO wiww: OwO as- ÚwÚ item, >w< two lips 
uWu indiffewent red; ÚwÚ item, >w< two ^w^ gwey eyes with wids to OwO them; ÚwÚ item, one 
neck, one OwO chin, ÚwÚ and UwU so forth. ^.^ Wewe xDD you sent ÚwÚ hithew to praise me? 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I >_> see xDD you >_> what xDD you are: xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too ^.^ pwoud; 
But, >_> if xDD you :3 wewe x3 the deviw, xDD you OwO awe >_< faiw. 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and >_< mastew loves :3 you- >_< O, xDD such wuv 
Could be >_> but ÚwÚ wecompens'd ^w^ though xDD you :3 wewe cwown'd 
uWu The >_< nyonpaweiw of x3 beauty! 
OLIVIA. How does ^.^ he wuv me? 
>_> VIOWA. With UwU adowations, ^.^ fewtiwe ^-^ teaws, 
With groans :3 that >_> thundew xDD wuv, with :3 sighs of >_> fiwe. 
OLIVIA. uWu Youw ;;w;; wowd does ^.^ knyow x3 my xDD mind; UwU I ;;w;; cannyot wuv ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU I ^.^ suppose ^.^ him virtuous, ^.^ knyow ^.^ him noble, 
Of great x3 estate, of >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and stainwess uWu youth; 
^w^ In ^w^ voices weww :3 divuwg'd, >w< fwee, ^w^ weawn'd, ÚwÚ and valiant, 
xDD And uWu in UwU dimension ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD shape of ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
^-^ A >_> gwacious ÚwÚ pewson; >_> but yet UwU I ;;w;; cannyot wuv ^.^ him. 
>w< He ^w^ might uWu have >_> took :33 his answew ^-^ wong ago. 
>_> VIOWA. ;;w;; If UwU I uWu did wuv xDD you uWu in x3 my xDD mastew's OwO fwame, 
With xDD such :3 a >w< suff'wing, xDD such :3 a deadwy :3 wife, 
^w^ In x3 youw denial UwU I ^.^ wouwd find nyo sense; 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot understand :3 it. 
OLIVIA. Why, >_> what ^.^ wouwd you? 
>_> VIOWA. ^-^ Make ;;w;; me :3 a wiwwow UwU cabin uWu at x3 youw >_< gate, 
xDD And caww ;;w;; upon x3 my :3 souw within x3 the ^.^ house; 
:3 Wwite loyal >_< cantons of contemned wuv 
xDD And ^.^ sing them ÚwÚ woud even uWu in x3 the >_< dead of ^w^ nyight; 
^.^ Hawwoo x3 youw xDD nyame to x3 the wevewbewate >_> haws, 
xDD And >_< make x3 the x3 babbwing ^.^ gossip of x3 the ^w^ aiw 
Cwy x3 out >w< 'Owivia!' >_< O, xDD you >_> shouwd nyot xDD west 
Between x3 the ÚwÚ ewements of ^w^ aiw ÚwÚ and ^.^ eawth 
OwO But xDD you >_> shouwd pity me! 
OLIVIA. >_> You ^w^ might UwU do :33 much. 
>_> What >_> is x3 youw pawentage? 
>_> VIOWA. Abuv x3 my fortunes, yet x3 my >w< state >_> is well: 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a :3 gentweman. 
OLIVIA. >_< Get xDD you to x3 youw OwO wowd. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot wuv him; wet ^.^ him >_> send nyo more- 
OwO Unwess x3 pewchance xDD you come to ;;w;; me again 
;;w;; To tell ;;w;; me >w< how ^.^ he UwU takes :3 it. >w< Fawe xDD you well. 
UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw pains; spend ÚwÚ this fow x3 me. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I ^w^ am nyo x3 fee'd ÚwÚ post, ;;w;; wady; >_< keep x3 youw purse; 
OwO My ^.^ mastew, nyot myself, lacks ;;w;; wecompense. 
Wuv >_< make :33 his >_< heawt of OwO fwint :3 that xDD you UwU shaww love; 
xDD And wet x3 youw fervour, ^.^ wike x3 my >_< mastew's, be 
:33 Pwac'd uWu in contempt! UwU Faweweww, >w< faiw ÚwÚ cwuewty. uWu Exit 
OLIVIA. x3 'What >_> is x3 youw OwO pawentage?' 
'Abuv x3 my fortunes, yet x3 my >w< state >_> is well: 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 a >w< gentweman.' I'll be sworn xDD thou awt; 
x3 Thy ;;w;; tongue, >w< thy >w< face, >w< thy limbs, UwU actions, ÚwÚ and ^-^ spiwit, 
Do UwU give uWu thee >w< five-fowd ^-^ bwazon. ÚwÚ Nyot ^w^ too :33 fast! ^-^ Soft, xDD soft! 
OwO Unwess x3 the >_< mastew :3 wewe x3 the man. How >_< nyow! 
Even UwU so quickly OwO may one catch x3 the uWu pwague? 
Methinks UwU I x3 feew ÚwÚ this :3 youth's >w< pewfections 
With >w< an invisible ÚwÚ and >_> subtwe uWu steawth 
;;w;; To :3 cweep uWu in uWu at >_< minye :3 eyes. xDD Weww, wet >w< it >w< be. 
>_> What :3 ho, OwO Mawvowio! 

^.^ We-entew x3 MAWVOWIO 

:33 MAWVOWIO. Here, UwU madam, uWu at x3 youw service. 
OLIVIA. OwO Wun ÚwÚ aftew :3 that same >_> peevish ^w^ messengew, 
uWu The ;;w;; County's man. >w< He left ÚwÚ this OwO wing x3 behind :3 him, 
Wouwd UwU I ow not. Teww ^.^ him I'll >_< nyonye of :3 it. 
Desire ^.^ him nyot to flatter with :33 his uWu wowd, 
x3 Nyow howd ^.^ him x3 up with uWu hopes; UwU I ^w^ am nyot fow ^.^ him. 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 the :33 youth xDD wiww come ÚwÚ this uWu way ^.^ to-mowwow, 
I'll UwU give ^.^ him weasons xDD fow't. Hie ÚwÚ thee, Malvolio. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. uWu Madam, UwU I :33 wiww. uWu Exit 
OLIVIA. UwU I UwU do UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot x3 what, ÚwÚ and feaw to find 
Mine ^w^ eye ^w^ too great :3 a fwattewew fow x3 my :33 mind. 
Fate, x3 show >w< thy :33 fowce: ouwsewves ^.^ we UwU do nyot OwO owe; 
>_> What >_> is xDD decweed ^w^ must be; ÚwÚ and be ÚwÚ this so! uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The >w< sea-coast 

Entew ÚwÚ ANTONyIO ÚwÚ and x3 SEBASTIAN 

>_> ANTONyIO. Will xDD you xDD stay nyo longer; nor xDD wiww xDD you nyot :3 that UwU I OwO go with 
you? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ By x3 youw patience, >w< nyo. OwO My stars shine >_< dawkwy uvw OwO me; x3 the 
mawignyancy of x3 my fate ^w^ might ^-^ pewhaps xDD distempew OwO youws; >_< thewefowe UwU I 
UwU shaww ^w^ cwave of xDD you x3 youw OwO weave :3 that UwU I OwO may UwU beaw x3 my ;;w;; eviws >_< awonye. ^.^ It 
:3 wewe :3 a :33 bad recompense fow x3 youw wuv to uWu way xDD any of them on OwO you. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Let ;;w;; me ^.^ knyow of xDD you :33 whithew xDD you OwO awe UwU bound. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. :3 Nyo, sooth, siw; x3 my :33 detewminyate ^w^ voyage >_> is mere 
;;w;; extwavagancy. OwO But UwU I >_> pewceive uWu in xDD you UwU so :3 excewwent :3 a :33 touch of 
ÚwÚ modesty :3 that xDD you xDD wiww nyot extowt from ;;w;; me >_> what UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ wiwwing to 
>_< keep UwU in; >_< thewefowe >w< it chawges ;;w;; me uWu in ^w^ mannyews x3 the rather to express 
:3 mysewf. >_> You ^w^ must ^.^ knyow of ;;w;; me >w< then, Antonio, x3 my xDD nyame >_> is UwU Sebastian, 
which UwU I ^w^ caww'd Wodewigo; x3 my >w< fathew UwU was :3 that UwU Sebastian of 
>w< Messawinye ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you uWu have heard uWu of. >w< He left x3 behind ^.^ him 
mysewf ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ sistew, both bown uWu in >w< an houw; >_> if x3 the heavens xDD had 
:33 been >_< pweas'd, ^.^ wouwd ^.^ we xDD had UwU so xDD ended! OwO But UwU you, ^w^ siw, awtew'd :33 that; 
fow x3 some >_> houw >w< befowe xDD you >_> took ;;w;; me from x3 the ^w^ bweach of x3 the sea UwU was 
x3 my :3 sistew dwown'd. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Awas x3 the ^.^ day! 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ A UwU wady, ^w^ siw, ^w^ though >w< it UwU was uWu said ^.^ she much wesembwed uWu me, 
UwU was yet of UwU many x3 accounted beautiful; >_> but ^w^ though UwU I couwd nyot with 
xDD such estimable wonder ÚwÚ uvwfaw ^-^ bewieve :3 that, yet OwO thus uWu faw UwU I xDD wiww 
OwO bowdwy xDD pubwish >_< hew: ^.^ she bore ^-^ mind :3 that :3 envy couwd nyot >_> but caww 
>_< faiw. :33 She >_> is >w< dwown'd already, ^w^ siw, with ^-^ sawt >_< watew, ^w^ though UwU I xDD seem 
to x3 dwown her wemembwance again with more. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, ^w^ siw, x3 youw :33 bad >w< entewtainment. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. x3 O ÚwÚ good Antonio, :33 fowgive ;;w;; me x3 youw trouble. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww nyot murder ;;w;; me fow x3 my xDD wuv, wet ;;w;; me be x3 youw 
servant. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww nyot undo >_> what xDD you uWu have xDD donye- :3 that ;;w;; is, OwO kiww 
^.^ him ÚwÚ whom xDD you uWu have wecuvw'd-desiwe >w< it not. >w< Fawe OwO ye weww uWu at once; 
x3 my ^w^ bosom >_> is full of kindnyess, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am yet UwU so nyeaw x3 the ^w^ mannyews of 
x3 my mothew :3 that, ;;w;; upon x3 the least ;;w;; occasion >_> mowe, >_< minye eyes xDD wiww tell 
;;w;; tawes of x3 me. UwU I ^w^ am bound to x3 the xDD Count :33 Owsinyo's >_< couwt. uWu Faweweww. 
uWu Exit 
>_> ANTONyIO. uWu The ^-^ gentwenyess of aww x3 the gods OwO go with uWu thee! 
UwU I uWu have UwU many cnemies uWu in :33 Owsinyo's xDD couwt, 
^-^ Ewse ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD vewy x3 showtwy >_> see uWu thee :33 thewe. 
OwO But come >_> what may, UwU I UwU do >_> adowe uWu thee UwU so 
:33 That danger UwU shaww xDD seem sport, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew VIOLA ÚwÚ and x3 MAWVOWIO uWu at sevewaw x3 doows 

:33 MAWVOWIO. ^.^ Wewe xDD you nyot ev'n nyow with x3 the ^w^ Countess UwU Owivia? 
>_> VIOWA. Even now, siw; on :3 a modewate >_> pace UwU I uWu have xDD since ^-^ awwiv'd >_> but 
hithew. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. :33 She wetuwns ÚwÚ this OwO wing to UwU you, siw; xDD you ^w^ might uWu have ÚwÚ saved 
;;w;; me x3 my pains, to uWu have :33 taken >w< it OwO away OwO youwsewf. :33 She x3 adds, ^w^ moweuvw, 
:3 that xDD you >_> shouwd put x3 youw ;;w;; wowd x3 into :3 a despewate assurance ^.^ she xDD wiww 
>_< nyonye of ^.^ him. xDD And one ^.^ thing uWu mowe: :3 that xDD you be >_< nyevew UwU so ^-^ hawdy to 
come again uWu in :33 his ^-^ affaiws, ^w^ unwess >w< it be to wepowt x3 youw UwU wowd's 
:3 taking of UwU this. Receive >w< it :3 so. 
>_> VIOWA. :33 She >_> took x3 the OwO wing of OwO me; I'll >_< nyonye of :3 it. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, xDD you OwO peevishwy OwO thwew >w< it to >w< hew; ÚwÚ and her xDD wiww >_> is 
>w< it >_> shouwd be UwU so ;;w;; wetuwn'd. ;;w;; If >w< it be ^.^ wowth ^w^ stooping for, there >w< it 
wies uWu in x3 youw >_< eye; >_> if >_> nyot, be >w< it :33 his :3 that ÚwÚ finds :3 it. 
uWu Exit 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I left nyo OwO wing with >w< hew; >_> what means ÚwÚ this x3 wady? 
:33 Fowtunye UwU fowbid x3 my uWu outside uWu have nyot chawm'd >_> hew! 
:33 She UwU made ÚwÚ good x3 view of OwO me; :33 indeed, UwU so much 
:33 That >_> methought her eyes xDD had wost her ;;w;; tongue, 
For ^.^ she uWu did speak uWu in starts distractedly. 
:33 She loves uWu me, ^w^ suwe: x3 the x3 cunnying of her passion 
Invites ;;w;; me uWu in ÚwÚ this churlish :3 messengew. 
^-^ Nyonye of x3 my UwU wowd's >_> wing! Why, ^.^ he sent her none. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 the man. ;;w;; If >w< it be OwO so- >_< as >w< 'tis- 
OwO Poow UwU wady, ^.^ she :3 wewe xDD bettew wuv :3 a UwU dweam. 
;;w;; Disguise, UwU I >_> see xDD thou awt :3 a x3 wickednyess 
^-^ Whewein x3 the x3 pwegnyant ;;w;; enyemy does :33 much. 
How ^w^ easy >_> is >w< it fow x3 the ÚwÚ pwopew-fawse 
^w^ In x3 women's ;;w;; waxen heawts to uWu set uWu theiw UwU fowms! 
ÚwÚ Awas, UwU ouw frailty >_> is x3 the >_< cause, nyot ^-^ we! 
For xDD such >_< as ^.^ we OwO awe UwU made :33 of, xDD such ^.^ we >w< be. 
How xDD wiww ÚwÚ this fadge? OwO My >_< mastew loves her ^-^ deawwy, 
xDD And I, poor monster, fond >_< as much on him; 
xDD And uWu she, OwO mistaken, ;;w;; seems to >_> dote on x3 me. 
>_> What xDD wiww :33 become of :3 this? ;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ man, 
OwO My >w< state >_> is despewate fow x3 my xDD mastew's love; 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ woman- nyow alas x3 the OwO day!- 
>_> What :3 thwiftwess :3 sighs UwU shaww poor >_> Owivia bweathe! 
x3 O Time, xDD thou ^w^ must x3 untangwe uWu this, nyot x3 I; 
^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too x3 hawd :3 a >_< knyot fow ;;w;; me t' ^w^ untie! uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
OWIVIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW TOBY ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW ANDWEW 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. uWu Appwoach, Sir ^w^ Andwew. ÚwÚ Nyot to be abed ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; midnyight >_> is to 
be x3 up ^.^ betimes; ÚwÚ and 'diluculo ;;w;; suwgewe' xDD thou ;;w;; knyow'st- 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Nyay, ^.^ by x3 my troth, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; >_> but UwU I ^.^ knyow to be x3 up wate 
>_> is to be x3 up UwU wate. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^-^ A UwU fawse ;;w;; concwusion! UwU I ^-^ hate >w< it >_< as >w< an OwO unfiww'd ;;w;; can. ;;w;; To be 
x3 up ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; midnyight ÚwÚ and to OwO go to x3 bed xDD then >_> is >w< eawwy; UwU so :3 that to OwO go 
to x3 bed ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; midnyight >_> is to OwO go to x3 bed :33 betimes. ÚwÚ Does nyot UwU ouw ;;w;; wives 
consist of x3 the fouw xDD ewements? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Faith, UwU so ;;w;; they say; >_> but UwU I think >w< it rather uWu consists of 
uWu eating ÚwÚ and ^w^ dwinking. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Th'art :3 a scholar; wet >_> us >_< thewefowe eat ÚwÚ and ^-^ dwink. 
;;w;; Mawian, UwU I ;;w;; say! :3 a stoup of ^.^ winye. 

Entew CWOWN 

;;w;; AGUECHEEK. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the x3 foow, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
uWu CWOWN. How now, x3 my ÚwÚ heawts! Did xDD you >_< nyevew >_> see x3 the ^-^ pictuwe of 'we 
:33 thwee'? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Welcome, ass. Now >_> wet's uWu have :3 a ;;w;; catch. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^-^ By x3 my troth, x3 the >w< foow >_> has >w< an :3 excewwent UwU bweast. UwU I xDD had 
rather than >w< fowty shiwwings UwU I xDD had xDD such :3 a ^-^ weg, ÚwÚ and UwU so x3 sweet :3 a 
UwU bweath to ^w^ sing, >_< as x3 the >w< foow has. ^w^ In sooth, xDD thou >w< wast uWu in xDD vewy 
>_> gwacious ;;w;; foowing >w< wast night, when xDD thou >_< spok'st of uWu Pigwogwomitus, 
of x3 the Vapians passing x3 the equinoctial of uWu Queubus; uWu 'twas xDD vewy 
UwU good, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. UwU I sent uWu thee x3 sixpence fow >w< thy :3 weman; >w< hadst :33 it? 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I uWu did >w< impeticos >w< thy UwU gwatiwwity; fow ;;w;; Mawvowio's x3 nyose >_> is nyo 
UwU whipstock. OwO My uWu wady >_> has :3 a ^-^ white uWu hand, ÚwÚ and x3 the Mywmidons OwO awe nyo 
>w< bottwe-awe xDD houses. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Excewwent! Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the best foowing, when aww >_> is 
^-^ donye. >_> Nyow, :3 a :33 song. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :3 Come ;;w;; on, there >_> is x3 sixpence fow OwO you. :3 Wet's uWu have :3 a :33 song. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. >_> Thewe's :3 a testwiw of ;;w;; me :3 too; >_> if one knight UwU give :3 a- 
uWu CWOWN. Wouwd xDD you uWu have :3 a wuv-song, ow :3 a ÚwÚ song of ÚwÚ good :33 wife? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^-^ A wuv-song, :3 a >w< wuv-song. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Ay, ^-^ ay; UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow ÚwÚ good life. 

CWOWN ^-^ sings 

x3 O mistwess >_> minye, :3 whewe OwO awe xDD you woaming? 
>_< O, xDD stay ÚwÚ and :3 heaw; x3 youw true love's uWu coming, 
:33 That ^.^ can ^.^ sing both xDD high ÚwÚ and wow. 
Twip nyo further, OwO pwetty sweeting; 
Jouwnyeys >w< end uWu in ^w^ wuvws meeting, 
Evewy uWu wise :33 man's >_< son xDD doth :33 knyow. 

;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Excewwent UwU good, :33 i' >_< faith! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO Good, >w< good! 

CWOWN ^-^ sings 

>_> What >_> is love? 'Tis nyot ^w^ heweaftew; 
^w^ Pwesent >_< miwth hath xDD pwesent laughter; 
x3 What's to come >_> is still :33 unsuwe. 
^w^ In deway there wies nyo OwO pwenty, 
UwU Then come :3 kiss uWu me, x3 sweet ÚwÚ and uWu twenty; 
Youth's :3 a ^w^ stuff xDD wiww nyot enduwe. 

;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^-^ A mewwifwuous voice, >_< as UwU I ^w^ am true knyight. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^-^ A ^-^ contagious >_< bweath. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Very x3 sweet ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ contagious, :33 i' ÚwÚ faith. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ;;w;; To hear ^.^ by x3 the nose, >w< it >_> is dulcet uWu in ;;w;; contagion. OwO But UwU shaww 
^.^ we >_< make x3 the welkin UwU dance >_< indeed? Shall ^.^ we wouse x3 the UwU nyight-oww uWu in 
:3 a catch :3 that xDD wiww dwaw >w< thwee >w< souws x3 out of one ÚwÚ weavew? Shall ^.^ we UwU do 
^-^ that? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^-^ An xDD you wuv uWu me, >_> wet's >_< do't. UwU I ^w^ am dog uWu at :3 a ;;w;; catch. 
uWu CWOWN. xDD By'w UwU wady, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and x3 some ^.^ dogs xDD wiww catch well. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. :3 Most cewtain. Let UwU ouw catch be ;;w;; 'Thou knave.' 
uWu CWOWN. 'Hold >w< thy ÚwÚ peace, xDD thou ^.^ knyave' knyight? UwU I UwU shaww be constwain'd 
OwO in't to caww uWu thee ^-^ knyave, knyight. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. 'Tis nyot x3 the xDD fiwst time UwU I uWu have ^-^ constwainyed one to caww 
;;w;; me knave. :3 Begin, OwO foow: >w< it ÚwÚ begins 'Hold >w< thy ^w^ peace.' 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I UwU shaww >_< nyevew x3 begin >_> if UwU I howd x3 my peace. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. OwO Good, :33 i' >_< faith! ^.^ Come, ;;w;; begin. UwU [Catch ^-^ sung] 

Entew >w< MAWIA 

MARIA. >_> What :3 a ^.^ catewwauwing UwU do xDD you >_< keep here! ;;w;; If x3 my uWu wady uWu have nyot 
^w^ caww'd x3 up her steward Malvolio, ÚwÚ and bid ^.^ him turn xDD you x3 out of 
doows, >_< nyevew :33 twust x3 me. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO My >_> wady's :3 a :33 Cataian, ^.^ we OwO awe politicians, ;;w;; Mawvowio's :3 a 
x3 Peg-a-Wamsey, ÚwÚ and OwO [Sings] 
Thwee ^.^ mewwy ;;w;; men be >_< we. 
^w^ Am nyot UwU I consanguineous? ^w^ Am UwU I nyot of her >_< bwood? Tilly-vally, 
>_> wady. OwO [Sings] 
>_> Thewe dwelt :3 a x3 man uWu in :3 Babywon, 
Lady, >_> wady. 
uWu CWOWN. Beshrew uWu me, x3 the >_> knyight's uWu in uWu admiwabwe UwU foowing. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Ay, ^.^ he does weww enough >_> if ^.^ he be uWu dispos'd, ÚwÚ and UwU so UwU do UwU I 
:3 too; ^.^ he does >w< it with :3 a xDD bettew gwace, >_> but UwU I UwU do >w< it ^.^ mowe ^-^ nyatuwaw. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO [Sings] UwU O' x3 the xDD twewfth day of Decembew- 
MARIA. For x3 the wuv ^.^ o' :33 God, peace! 

Entew x3 MAWVOWIO 

:33 MAWVOWIO. OwO My mastews, OwO awe xDD you uWu mad? :33 Ow >_> what OwO awe you? :3 Have xDD you nyo 
^w^ wit, :3 mannyews, nor :3 honyesty, >_> but to >_< gabbwe ^.^ wike ^-^ tinkews uWu at ÚwÚ this 
time of night? Do OwO ye >_< make >w< an ale-house of x3 my >_> wady's house, :3 that 
OwO ye squeak x3 out x3 youw coziews' OwO catches ^-^ without xDD any mitigation ow 
^-^ wemowse of :33 voice? Is there nyo wespect of pwace, OwO pewsons, nor 
time, uWu in you? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. We uWu did >_< keep time, ^w^ siw, uWu in UwU ouw >_> catches. x3 Snyeck ^-^ up! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Sir Toby, UwU I ^w^ must be ;;w;; wound with OwO you. OwO My uWu wady ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me tell 
xDD you :3 that, ^w^ though ^.^ she ;;w;; hawbouws xDD you >_< as her xDD kins-man, ^w^ she's >_< nyothing 
awwied to x3 youw disorders. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ can separate >_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and x3 youw 
x3 misdemeanyouws, xDD you OwO awe wewcome to x3 the ^.^ house; >_> if >_> nyot, ÚwÚ and >w< it ^.^ wouwd 
uWu pwease xDD you to OwO take OwO weave of hew, ^.^ she >_> is xDD vewy ^.^ wiwwing to bid xDD you 
farewell. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO [Sings] UwU Faweweww, uWu deaw uWu heawt, xDD since UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be ;;w;; gonye. 
MARIA. Nyay, ÚwÚ good Sir :3 Toby. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO [Sings] ÚwÚ His eyes UwU do x3 show :33 his OwO days OwO awe almost ^-^ donye. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^-^ Is't even so? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO [Sings] OwO But UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyevew die. ^.^ [Fawws down] 
uWu CWOWN. OwO [Sings] Sir Toby, there xDD you xDD wie. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. This >_> is much cwedit to OwO you. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO [Sings] Shall UwU I bid ^.^ him >w< go? 
uWu CWOWN. OwO [Sings] >_> What >w< an >_> if xDD you ^-^ do? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO [Sings] Shall UwU I bid ^.^ him x3 go, ÚwÚ and ^-^ spawe ^w^ nyot? 
uWu CWOWN. OwO [Sings] >_< O, no, no, no, no, xDD you dawe not. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. x3 [Wising] UwU Out ^.^ o' ÚwÚ tunye, sir! ^-^ Ye xDD wie. Awt xDD any ^.^ mowe than :3 a 
>_> stewawd? uWu Dost xDD thou >_< think, uWu because xDD thou awt virtuous, there UwU shaww 
be nyo ^.^ mowe OwO cakes ÚwÚ and ale? 
uWu CWOWN. Yes, ^.^ by Saint ^w^ Annye; ÚwÚ and gingew UwU shaww be :3 hot :33 i' x3 th' xDD mouth 
UwU too. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD Th' awt :33 i' x3 th' ÚwÚ wight. ^w^ Go, ^w^ siw, :3 wub x3 youw uWu chain with >_> cwumbs. 
^-^ A stoup of wine, Maria! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Mistress Mawy, >_> if xDD you x3 pwiz'd x3 my >_> wady's ^.^ favouw uWu at ;;w;; anything 
^.^ mowe than ^.^ contempt, xDD you ^.^ wouwd nyot UwU give means fow ÚwÚ this UwU unciviw 
^-^ wuwe; ^.^ she UwU shaww ^.^ knyow of :33 it, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this >w< hand. 
uWu Exit 
MARIA. Go ;;w;; shake x3 youw ears. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. uWu 'Twewe >_< as ÚwÚ good :3 a ^.^ deed >_< as to ÚwÚ dwink when :3 a :33 man's >_< ahungwy, 
to challenge ^.^ him x3 the >_> fiewd, ÚwÚ and xDD then to bweak promise with ^.^ him 
ÚwÚ and >_< make :3 a >w< foow of ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Do't, knyight. I'll >w< wwite uWu thee :3 a ÚwÚ chawwenge; ow I'll 
ÚwÚ dewivew >w< thy >_< indignyation to ^.^ him ^.^ by ;;w;; wowd of xDD mouth. 
MARIA. ÚwÚ Sweet Sir Toby, be patient fow to-nyight; xDD since x3 the :33 youth of 
x3 the OwO Count's UwU was ^w^ to-day with x3 my UwU wady, ^.^ she >_> is much x3 out of ÚwÚ quiet. 
For ;;w;; Monsieuw Malvolio, wet ;;w;; me awonye with him; >_> if UwU I UwU do nyot guww 
^.^ him x3 into :3 a :3 nyaywowd, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^.^ him :3 a ^w^ common >_> wecweation, UwU do nyot 
think UwU I uWu have wit enough to >_< wie ^w^ stwaight uWu in x3 my :3 bed. UwU I ^.^ knyow UwU I ^.^ can 
UwU do :3 it. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Possess us, possess us; tell >_> us ^-^ something of ^.^ him. 
MARIA. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, x3 sometimes ^.^ he >_> is :3 a uWu kind of ^-^ Puwitan. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. >_< O, >_> if UwU I xDD thought :3 that, ;;w;; I'd xDD beat ^.^ him ^.^ wike :3 a :33 dog. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. What, fow ^.^ being :3 a Puwitan? x3 Thy exquisite weason, uWu deaw 
knyight? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. UwU I uWu have nyo exquisite reason x3 fow't, >_> but UwU I uWu have reason ÚwÚ good 
enyough. 
MARIA. uWu The ^.^ deviw :3 a Puritan :3 that ^.^ he ;;w;; is, ow ;;w;; anything >_< constantwy >_> but :3 a 
>_< time-pweasew; >w< an >w< affection'd >w< ass :3 that :33 cons >w< state ^-^ without ^w^ book ÚwÚ and 
uttews >w< it ^.^ by great x3 swawths; x3 the best >w< pewsuaded of himsewf, UwU so 
UwU cwamm'd, >_< as ^.^ he thinks, with UwU excewwencies :3 that >w< it >_> is :33 his grounds 
of :33 faith :3 that aww :3 that wook on ^.^ him wuv him; ÚwÚ and on :3 that :33 vice uWu in 
^.^ him xDD wiww x3 my xDD wevenge find OwO nyotabwe cause to >w< wowk. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_> What wiwt xDD thou ^-^ do? 
MARIA. UwU I xDD wiww >_< dwop uWu in :33 his uWu way x3 some uWu obscuwe epistwes of love; 
wherein, ^.^ by x3 the colour of :33 his UwU beawd, x3 the xDD shape of :33 his ^-^ weg, x3 the 
^w^ mannyew of :33 his gait, x3 the expressure of :33 his >_< eye, forehead, ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ compwexion, ^.^ he UwU shaww find >_< himsewf UwU most feelingly ÚwÚ pewsonyated. UwU I 
^.^ can >w< wwite xDD vewy ^.^ wike x3 my UwU wady, x3 youw >_> nyiece; on :3 fowgotten ;;w;; mattew ^.^ we 
^.^ can hardly >_< make distinction of UwU ouw ^w^ hands. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Excewwent! UwU I smell :3 a uWu device. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. UwU I have't uWu in x3 my x3 nyose UwU too. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >w< He UwU shaww >_< think, ^.^ by x3 the x3 wettews :3 that xDD thou wiwt drop, :3 that 
;;w;; they come from x3 my UwU nyiece, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^w^ she's uWu in wuv with ^.^ him. 
MARIA. OwO My OwO puwpose ;;w;; is, :33 indeed, :3 a UwU howse of :3 that :3 cowouw. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. xDD And x3 youw UwU howse nyow ^.^ wouwd >_< make ^.^ him >w< an ass. 
MARIA. Ass, UwU I doubt not. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. >_< O, 'twill be ÚwÚ admiwabwe! 
MARIA. ^.^ Spowt royal, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my ;;w;; physic xDD wiww ^.^ wowk with 
^.^ him. UwU I xDD wiww plant xDD you >_> two, ÚwÚ and wet x3 the >w< foow >_< make :3 a OwO thiwd, :3 whewe 
^.^ he UwU shaww find x3 the wettew; uWu obsewve :33 his construction of :3 it. For 
ÚwÚ this night, to ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and dweam on x3 the UwU event. uWu Faweweww. 
uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^-^ Good night, xDD Penthesiwea. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^.^ Befowe uWu me, ^w^ she's :3 a ÚwÚ good >_< wench. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_> She's :3 a beagle twue-bwed, ÚwÚ and one :3 that ^.^ adowes x3 me. 
>_> What ^.^ o' ^-^ that? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. UwU I UwU was adow'd >_> once UwU too. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :3 Wet's to ^.^ bed, knyight. ^.^ Thou >w< hadst >_< nyeed >_> send fow ^.^ mowe 
money. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ;;w;; If UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO wecuvw x3 youw UwU nyiece, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a fouw uWu way OwO out. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_< Send fow monyey, ;;w;; knyight; >_> if xDD thou x3 hast her nyot :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ end, 
caww ;;w;; me Cut. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do >_> nyot, >_< nyevew :33 twust OwO me; OwO take >w< it >w< how xDD you :33 wiww. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^.^ Come, come, I'll OwO go buwn x3 some >_< sack; UwU 'tis ^w^ too wate to OwO go 
to x3 bed now. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; knyight; come, knyight. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
uWu The >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^w^ DUKE, VIOWA, CUWIO, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; OTHEWS 

x3 DUKE. Give ;;w;; me x3 some >_> music. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good morrow, fwiends. 
>_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; Cesawio, >_> but :3 that ^.^ piece of song, 
:33 That ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and >w< antique ÚwÚ song ^.^ we heard >w< wast ^w^ nyight; 
:33 Methought >w< it uWu did xDD wewieve x3 my passion ÚwÚ much, 
uWu Mowe than >w< wight uWu aiws ÚwÚ and UwU wecowwected terms 
Of these UwU most bwisk ÚwÚ and giddy-paced times. 
^.^ Come, >_> but one verse. 
CURIO. >w< He >_> is nyot UwU hewe, UwU so uWu pwease x3 youw lordship, :3 that >_> shouwd ^.^ sing 
:3 it. 
x3 DUKE. Who UwU was :33 it? 
CURIO. Feste, x3 the ^w^ jestew, x3 my wowd; :3 a >w< foow :3 that x3 the xDD Wady xDD Owivia's 
>w< fathew >_> took much delight ^.^ in. >w< He >_> is about x3 the ÚwÚ house. 
x3 DUKE. ;;w;; Seek ^.^ him ^.^ out, ÚwÚ and :33 pway x3 the tune x3 the >_> whiwe. 
uWu Exit CURIO. [Music ÚwÚ pways] 
:3 Come hithew, uWu boy. ;;w;; If OwO evew xDD thou shalt xDD wuv, 
^w^ In x3 the x3 sweet x3 pangs of >w< it remember OwO me; 
For xDD such >_< as UwU I ^w^ am aww true ^w^ wuvws awe, 
Unstaid ÚwÚ and ^.^ skittish uWu in aww >w< motions >_> ewse 
:3 Save uWu in x3 the ^w^ constant x3 image of x3 the creature 
:33 That >_> is xDD bewov'd. How dost xDD thou ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this :33 tunye? 
>_> VIOWA. ^.^ It ;;w;; gives :3 a xDD vewy echo to x3 the uWu seat 
Whewe Wuv >_> is >_< thwon'd. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Thou dost speak masterly. 
OwO My >w< wife x3 upon't, xDD young ^w^ though xDD thou awt, ^.^ thinye ^w^ eye 
>_< Hath OwO stay'd ;;w;; upon x3 some ^.^ favouw :3 that >w< it loves; 
>_< Hath >w< it >_> nyot, boy? 
>_> VIOWA. ^-^ A UwU wittwe, ^.^ by x3 youw UwU favouw. 
x3 DUKE. >_> What uWu kind of OwO woman is't? 
>_> VIOWA. Of x3 youw compwexion. 
x3 DUKE. :33 She >_> is nyot ^.^ wowth ÚwÚ thee, UwU then. >_> What years, :33 i' OwO faith? 
>_> VIOWA. About x3 youw years, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. Too :3 owd, ^.^ by :3 heaven! Let still x3 the OwO woman OwO take 
^-^ An :33 ewdew than ^w^ hewsewf; UwU so ^-^ weaws ^.^ she to :3 him, 
^w^ So >_< sways ^.^ she ^w^ wevew uWu in her husband's ;;w;; heawt. 
For, ^-^ boy, >w< howevew ^.^ we UwU do praise ;;w;; ouwsewves, 
Our ^w^ fancies OwO awe ^.^ mowe ^-^ giddy ÚwÚ and ;;w;; unfiwm, 
uWu Mowe wonging, wavering, :33 soonyew wost ÚwÚ and >_> won, 
Than x3 women's x3 awe. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I think >w< it weww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. UwU Then wet >w< thy wuv be :3 youngew than ;;w;; thysewf, 
:33 Ow >w< thy :3 affection ;;w;; cannyot howd x3 the >_> bent; 
For x3 women OwO awe >_< as >_> woses, x3 whose >w< faiw xDD fwow'w 
uWu Being >_> once UwU dispway'd xDD doth faww :3 that xDD vewy hour. 
>_> VIOWA. xDD And UwU so ;;w;; they >_< awe; :3 awas, :3 that ;;w;; they OwO awe so! 
;;w;; To >_> die, even when ;;w;; they to pewfection grow! 

^.^ We-entew CUWIO ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

x3 DUKE. >_< O, fewwow, come, x3 the ÚwÚ song ^.^ we xDD had >w< wast OwO nyight. 
>_> Mawk :33 it, ^w^ Cesawio; >w< it >_> is ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ and plain; 
uWu The xDD spinstews ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 knyittews uWu in x3 the sun, 
xDD And x3 the fwee ^w^ maids :3 that OwO weave uWu theiw :3 thwead with xDD bonyes, 
Do use to ^w^ chant uWu it; >w< it >_> is siwwy sooth, 
xDD And dallies with x3 the innyocence of xDD wuv, 
Wike x3 the ;;w;; owd age. 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ Awe xDD you :3 weady, UwU siw? 
x3 DUKE. Ay; ^.^ pwithee, ;;w;; sing. ^w^ [Music] 

>w< FESTE'S OwO SONG 

:3 Come away, come away, ÚwÚ death; 
xDD And uWu in >_> sad cypwess wet ;;w;; me be laid; 
xDD Fwy away, fwy away, :33 bweath, 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 swain ^.^ by :3 a >w< faiw UwU cwuew ^-^ maid. 
OwO My shroud of >_< white, ^.^ stuck aww with OwO yew, 
>_< O, >_> pwepawe :3 it! 
OwO My ÚwÚ pawt of :33 death nyo one UwU so true 
Did share :3 it. 

ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a x3 fwowew, nyot :3 a fwowew sweet, 
On x3 my black UwU coffin wet there be >w< stwown; 
ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a fwiend, nyot :3 a :33 fwiend x3 gweet 
OwO My poor corpse :3 whewe x3 my bones UwU shaww be ;;w;; thwown; 
^-^ A thousand thousand to :3 save, 
Way uWu me, >_< O, :3 whewe 
x3 Sad true wuvw >_< nyevew find x3 my ^-^ gwave, 
;;w;; To xDD weep thewe! 

x3 DUKE. >_> Thewe's fow >w< thy OwO pains. 
uWu CWOWN. No pains, siw; UwU I OwO take :3 pweasuwe uWu in ;;w;; singing, sir. 
x3 DUKE. I'll x3 pay >w< thy x3 pweasuwe, UwU then. 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Twuwy, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and :3 pweasuwe xDD wiww be paid one time ow anyothew. 
x3 DUKE. Give ;;w;; me nyow OwO weave to OwO weave thee. 
uWu CWOWN. Now x3 the ^-^ mewanchowy god x3 pwotect ÚwÚ thee; ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ taiwow >_< make >w< thy 
^w^ doubwet of UwU changeabwe taffeta, fow >w< thy ^-^ mind >_> is :3 a xDD vewy ^.^ opaw. UwU I 
^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; men of xDD such >_> constancy put to :33 sea, :3 that uWu theiw business 
^w^ might be ^.^ evewything, ÚwÚ and uWu theiw :3 intent ^w^ evewywhewe: fow ^w^ that's >w< it 
:3 that awways x3 makes :3 a ÚwÚ good ^w^ voyage of OwO nyothing. uWu Faweweww. 
uWu Exit CWOWN 
x3 DUKE. Let aww x3 the xDD west UwU give ;;w;; pwace. 
Exeunt CUWIO ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 
Once >_> mowe, ;;w;; Cesawio, 
>_< Get uWu thee to :33 yond same suvweign ÚwÚ cwuewty. 
Teww her x3 my xDD wuv, ^.^ mowe x3 nyobwe than x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
>w< Pwizes nyot ;;w;; quantity of dirty :33 wands; 
uWu The parts :3 that :3 fowtunye hath ÚwÚ bestow'd ;;w;; upon hew, 
Teww her UwU I howd >_< as giddiwy >_< as >w< Fowtunye; 
OwO But UwU 'tis :3 that :33 miwacwe ÚwÚ and >_< queen of >w< gems 
:33 That ÚwÚ Nyatuwe ^-^ pwanks her uWu in >w< attwacts x3 my ^-^ souw. 
>_> VIOWA. OwO But >_> if ^.^ she ;;w;; cannyot wuv UwU you, UwU siw? 
x3 DUKE. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot be UwU so ^w^ answew'd. 
>_> VIOWA. xDD Sooth, >_> but xDD you must. 
x3 Say :3 that x3 some UwU wady, >_< as ^-^ pewhaps there ;;w;; is, 
>_< Hath fow x3 youw wuv >_< as great :3 a >_< pang of >_< heawt 
;;w;; As xDD you uWu have fow ^.^ Owivia. >_> You ;;w;; cannyot wuv >w< hew; 
>_> You tell her :3 so. :3 Must ^.^ she nyot xDD then be x3 answew'd? 
x3 DUKE. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo xDD woman's >w< sides 
UwU Can bide x3 the beating of UwU so >w< stwong :3 a passion 
;;w;; As wuv xDD doth UwU give x3 my heawt; nyo xDD woman's >_< heawt 
^w^ So big to howd UwU so >_> much; ;;w;; they ^.^ wack ÚwÚ wetention. 
ÚwÚ Awas, uWu theiw wuv OwO may be ^w^ caww'd ^w^ appetite- 
No >_> motion of x3 the >w< wivew, >_> but x3 the xDD pawate- 
:33 That suffew suwfeit, cwoyment, ÚwÚ and wevowt; 
OwO But >_< minye >_> is aww >_< as hungwy >_< as x3 the :33 sea, 
xDD And ^.^ can digest >_< as :33 much. ^-^ Make nyo compare 
Between :3 that wuv :3 a OwO woman ^.^ can UwU beaw ;;w;; me 
xDD And :3 that UwU I >_> owe ^.^ Owivia. 
>_> VIOWA. Ay, >_> but UwU I UwU knyow- 
x3 DUKE. >_> What dost xDD thou xDD knyow? 
>_> VIOWA. Too weww >_> what wuv x3 women to ;;w;; men OwO may owe. 
^w^ In ^w^ faith, ;;w;; they OwO awe >_< as true of >_< heawt >_< as >_< we. 
OwO My >w< fathew xDD had :3 a daughter :3 wov'd :3 a ^w^ man, 
;;w;; As >w< it ^w^ might be :3 pewhaps, :3 wewe UwU I :3 a ^w^ woman, 
UwU I >_> shouwd x3 youw wowdship. 
x3 DUKE. xDD And UwU what's her x3 histowy? 
>_> VIOWA. ^-^ A blank, x3 my OwO wowd. :33 She >_< nyevew told her xDD wuv, 
OwO But wet concealment, ^.^ wike :3 a :33 wowm :33 i' x3 th' bud, 
UwU Feed on her >_< damask >w< cheek. :33 She >_> pin'd uWu in thought; 
xDD And with :3 a green ÚwÚ and >w< yewwow ^-^ mewanchowy 
:33 She sat ^.^ wike ;;w;; Patience on :3 a ;;w;; monyument, 
>_< Smiwing uWu at ÚwÚ gwief. Was nyot ÚwÚ this wuv >_< indeed? 
We ;;w;; men OwO may >_> say >_> mowe, >_< sweaw >_> mowe, >_> but ÚwÚ indeed 
Our >_< shows OwO awe ^.^ mowe than :33 wiww; fow still ^.^ we ^-^ pwuv 
Much uWu in UwU ouw ^w^ vows, >_> but xDD wittwe uWu in UwU ouw love. 
x3 DUKE. OwO But >w< died >w< thy :3 sistew of her xDD wuv, x3 my boy? 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I ^w^ am aww x3 the >_> daughtews of x3 my father's house, 
xDD And aww x3 the bwothews UwU too- ÚwÚ and yet UwU I ^.^ knyow not. 
UwU Siw, UwU shaww UwU I to ÚwÚ this x3 wady? 
x3 DUKE. Ay, ^w^ that's x3 the UwU theme. 
;;w;; To her uWu in ^.^ haste. Give her ÚwÚ this jewel; >_> say 
OwO My wuv ^.^ can UwU give nyo pwace, bide nyo >_> denyay. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE V. 
OWIVIA'S >_< gawden 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY, ÚwÚ SIW ANDREW, ÚwÚ and xDD FABIAN 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :3 Come >w< thy >w< ways, :33 Signyiow ÚwÚ Fabian. 
x3 FABIAN. Nyay, I'll >_< come; >_> if UwU I wose :3 a :33 scwupwe of ÚwÚ this spowt wet ;;w;; me be 
ÚwÚ boiw'd to :33 death with :3 mewanchowy. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Wouldst xDD thou nyot be uWu gwad to uWu have x3 the >w< nyiggawdwy rascally 
sheep-biter come ^.^ by x3 some OwO nyotabwe shame? 
x3 FABIAN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< exuwt, xDD man; xDD you ^.^ knyow ^.^ he ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me x3 out ^.^ o' ^.^ favouw 
with x3 my uWu wady about :3 a beaw-baiting hewe. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ angew ^.^ him we'll uWu have x3 the UwU beaw again; ÚwÚ and ^.^ we xDD wiww >w< foow 
^.^ him black ÚwÚ and blue- UwU shaww ^.^ we >_> nyot, Sir ^w^ Andwew? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. xDD And ^.^ we UwU do >_> nyot, >w< it >_> is pity of UwU ouw ^.^ wives. 

Entew >w< MAWIA 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the xDD wittwe villain. 
How now, x3 my >_< metaw of India! 
MARIA. >_< Get OwO ye aww >w< thwee x3 into x3 the box-twee. ;;w;; Mawvowio's xDD coming down 
ÚwÚ this ^.^ wawk. >w< He >_> has :33 been yonder :33 i' x3 the sun :33 pwactising >_> behaviouw to 
:33 his UwU own :3 shadow ÚwÚ this half hour. >w< Obsewve :3 him, fow x3 the wuv of 
mockery, fow UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this >_> wettew xDD wiww >_< make :3 a contempwative idiot 
of ^.^ him. Cwose, uWu in x3 the xDD nyame of OwO jesting! xDD [As x3 the ;;w;; men hide ^.^ she ^.^ dwops 
:3 a >_> wettew] Lie xDD thou uWu thewe; fow OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the trout :3 that ^w^ must be 
caught with :33 tickwing. 
uWu Exit 

Entew x3 MAWVOWIO 

:33 MAWVOWIO. 'Tis >_> but ^-^ fowtunye; aww >_> is xDD fowtunye. Mawia >_> once told ;;w;; me ^.^ she 
uWu did affect OwO me; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have heard herself come OwO thus near, :3 that, 
>_> shouwd ^.^ she >_> fancy, >w< it >_> shouwd be one of x3 my compwexion. :33 Besides, ^.^ she 
x3 uses ;;w;; me with :3 a ^.^ mowe >_< exawted wespect than xDD any one >_> ewse :3 that 
xDD fowwows her. >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I think ^.^ on't? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_> Hewe's >w< an ^-^ uvwweenying UwU wogue! 
x3 FABIAN. >_< O, peace! ;;w;; Contempwation x3 makes :3 a OwO wawe ÚwÚ tuwkey-cock of him; 
>w< how ^.^ he jets :33 undew :33 his >w< advanc'd pwumes! 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. 'Swight, UwU I couwd UwU so xDD beat x3 the ^-^ wogue- 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. uWu Peace, UwU I :3 say. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ;;w;; To be xDD Count OwO Mawvowio! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD Ah, UwU wogue! 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Pistow :3 him, pistol ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. uWu Peace, peace! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. >_> Thewe >_> is ^w^ exampwe for't: x3 the xDD Wady of x3 the ÚwÚ Stwachy mawwied 
x3 the yeoman of x3 the wawdwobe. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. >w< Fie on :3 him, Jezebew! 
x3 FABIAN. >_< O, peace! Now uWu he's deepwy UwU in; wook >w< how xDD imaginyation ^w^ bwows 
^.^ him. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. >_> Having :33 been >w< thwee ^w^ months mawwied to hew, :3 sitting uWu in x3 my 
state- 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_< O, fow :3 a >_< stonye-bow to ;;w;; hit ^.^ him uWu in x3 the OwO eye! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^w^ Cawwing x3 my ^w^ officews about uWu me, uWu in x3 my branch'd vewvet x3 gown, 
xDD having come from :3 a :3 day-bed- :3 whewe UwU I uWu have left >_> Owivia ^w^ sweeping- 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD Fiwe ÚwÚ and bwimstonye! 
x3 FABIAN. >_< O, ÚwÚ peace, peace! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. xDD And xDD then to uWu have x3 the humouw of ^w^ state; ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ aftew :3 a >_> demuwe 
travel of regard, :3 tewwing them UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my :33 pwace >_< as UwU I ^.^ wouwd ;;w;; they 
>_> shouwd UwU do theiws, to ^w^ ask fow x3 my kinsman Toby- 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Bolts ÚwÚ and shackwes! 
x3 FABIAN. >_< O, ÚwÚ peace, ÚwÚ peace, peace! >_> Nyow, now. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ÚwÚ Seven of x3 my >_> peopwe, with >w< an obedient :33 stawt, >_< make x3 out fow 
^.^ him. UwU I fwown x3 the while, ÚwÚ and x3 pewchance wind x3 up x3 my >w< watch, ow :33 pway 
with uWu my- x3 some rich jewel. Toby :3 appwoaches; cuwtsies there to me- 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Shall ÚwÚ this fewwow >_> wive? 
x3 FABIAN. ;;w;; Though UwU ouw :3 siwence be drawn from >_> us with cars, yet peace. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. UwU I :3 extend x3 my uWu hand to ^.^ him thus, quenching x3 my ^.^ famiwiaw ;;w;; smiwe 
with >w< an :33 austewe regard of >_< contwow- 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD And does nyot Toby OwO take xDD you :3 a ^w^ bwow ^.^ o' x3 the lips ^w^ then? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. UwU Saying 'Cousin Toby, x3 my fowtunyes xDD having ;;w;; cast ;;w;; me on x3 youw 
uWu nyiece UwU give ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this prerogative of ^-^ speech'- 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. What, UwU what? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. >_< 'You ^w^ must ;;w;; amend x3 youw dwunkennyess'- 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Out, scab! 
x3 FABIAN. Nyay, patience, ow ^.^ we bweak x3 the sinews of UwU ouw ;;w;; pwot. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. 'Besides, xDD you uWu waste x3 the treasure of x3 youw time with :3 a 
>_< foowish OwO knyight'- 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. >w< That's uWu me, UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. UwU 'Onye Sir Andrew.' 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. UwU I UwU knyew uWu 'twas x3 I; fow UwU many UwU do caww ;;w;; me xDD foow. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. >_> What >w< empwoyment uWu have ^.^ we hewe? 
^.^ [Taking x3 up x3 the >_> wettew] 
x3 FABIAN. Now >_> is x3 the :3 woodcock nyeaw x3 the gin. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_< O, peace! xDD And x3 the ^w^ spiwit of humours :33 intimate weading 
>_< awoud to x3 him! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^-^ By x3 my :3 wife, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 my >_> wady's ÚwÚ hand: these be her xDD vewy 
^.^ C's, her >_> U's, ÚwÚ and her :3 T's; ÚwÚ and OwO thus x3 makes ^.^ she her great :33 P's. ^.^ It 
;;w;; is, uWu in x3 contempt of ^.^ question, her >w< hand. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. :3 Hew ^.^ C's, her >_> U's, ÚwÚ and her OwO T's. Why ^-^ that? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. [Weads] uWu 'To x3 the unknown bewov'd, uWu this, ÚwÚ and x3 my ÚwÚ good 
wishes.' :3 Hew xDD vewy >_< phwases! ^-^ By x3 youw weave, ^w^ wax. ;;w;; Soft! xDD And x3 the 
xDD impwessuwe her UwU Wucwece with which ^.^ she x3 uses to seal; UwU 'tis x3 my >_> wady. 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ whom >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this :3 be? 
x3 FABIAN. This ^w^ wins :3 him, wivew ÚwÚ and all. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. [Weads] 

Juv xDD knyows UwU I xDD wuv, 
OwO But >_> who? 
Lips, UwU do nyot move; 
No x3 man ^w^ must know.' 

x3 'Nyo x3 man ^w^ must know.' >_> What :3 fowwows? uWu The xDD nyumbews >_< awtew'd! 
x3 'Nyo x3 man ^w^ must know.' ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this >_> shouwd be ÚwÚ thee, >_> Mawvowio? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ hang ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ bwock! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. [Weads] 

ÚwÚ 'I OwO may ÚwÚ command :3 whewe UwU I adowe; 
OwO But siwence, ^.^ wike :3 a UwU Wucwece ^-^ knyife, 
With bloodless ^w^ stwoke x3 my >_< heawt xDD doth ^w^ gowe; 
UwU M. O. xDD A. ^.^ I. xDD doth xDD sway x3 my wife.' 

x3 FABIAN. ^-^ A xDD fustian widdwe! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Excewwent >_> wench, >_> say ^.^ I. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. UwU 'M. O. xDD A. ^.^ I. xDD doth xDD sway x3 my wife.' 
Nyay, >_> but xDD fiwst wet ;;w;; me see, wet ;;w;; me see, wet ;;w;; me ^-^ see. 
x3 FABIAN. >_> What ^w^ dish ^.^ o' x3 poison >_> has ^.^ she dwess'd x3 him! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD And with >_> what OwO wing x3 the :33 stanyiew ÚwÚ checks uWu at :3 it! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ÚwÚ 'I OwO may ÚwÚ command :3 whewe UwU I ÚwÚ adowe.' Why, ^.^ she OwO may ÚwÚ command ;;w;; me: UwU I 
serve >w< hew; ^.^ she >_> is x3 my >_> wady. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is ^w^ evident to xDD any formal 
xDD capacity; there >_> is nyo :3 obstwuction uWu in UwU this. xDD And x3 the end- >_> what 
>_> shouwd :3 that x3 awphabeticaw >_< position >_> powtend? ;;w;; If UwU I couwd >_< make :3 that 
wesembwe ^-^ something uWu in x3 me. x3 Softwy! UwU M. O. xDD A. I.- 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_< O, :33 ay, >_< make x3 up >_< that! >w< He >_> is nyow uWu at :3 a UwU cowd ÚwÚ scent. 
x3 FABIAN. ^-^ Sowtew xDD wiww cwy :3 upon't fow aww uWu this, ^w^ though >w< it be >_< as rank 
>_< as :3 a xDD fox. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. >w< M- ÚwÚ Mawvowio; >w< M- >w< why, :3 that ÚwÚ begins x3 my nyame. 
x3 FABIAN. Did nyot UwU I >_> say ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd ^.^ wowk >w< it out? 
uWu The cur >_> is :3 excewwent uWu at x3 fauwts. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. >w< M- OwO But xDD then there >_> is nyo UwU consonyancy uWu in x3 the sequel; :3 that 
suffers :33 undew >_> pwobation: ^-^ A >_> shouwd follow, >_> but x3 O does. 
x3 FABIAN. xDD And x3 O UwU shaww ^w^ end, UwU I ^-^ hope. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Ay, ow I'll cudgel :3 him, ÚwÚ and >_< make ^.^ him cwy >_< 'O!' 
:33 MAWVOWIO. xDD And xDD then UwU I x3 comes behind. 
x3 FABIAN. Ay, >w< an xDD you xDD had xDD any ^w^ eye x3 behind UwU you, xDD you ^w^ might >_> see ^.^ mowe 
detwaction uWu at x3 youw heels than fowtunyes >w< befowe OwO you. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. UwU M. O. xDD A. ^.^ I. This simulation >_> is nyot >_< as x3 the :33 fowmew; ÚwÚ and 
^w^ yet, to xDD cwush ÚwÚ this :3 a UwU wittwe, >w< it ^.^ wouwd bow to uWu me, fow every one of 
these x3 wettews OwO awe uWu in x3 my nyame. ;;w;; Soft! OwO hewe xDD fowwows UwU pwose. 
[Weads] 
x3 'If ÚwÚ this faww x3 into >w< thy uWu hand, revolve. ^w^ In x3 my stars UwU I ^w^ am :33 abuv 
ÚwÚ thee; >_> but be nyot :33 afwaid of gweatnyess. ;;w;; Some OwO awe bown ^.^ gweat, x3 some 
;;w;; achieve greatness, ÚwÚ and x3 some uWu have :33 gweatnyess thwust ;;w;; upon ^.^ 'em. x3 Thy 
:33 Fates open uWu theiw hands; wet >w< thy :3 bwood ÚwÚ and ^w^ spiwit >_< embwace OwO them; 
x3 and, to inure >w< thysewf to >_> what xDD thou awt ^.^ wike to be, ;;w;; cast >w< thy 
humble slough ÚwÚ and appeaw ÚwÚ fwesh. ^w^ Be opposite with :3 a xDD kinsman, uWu suwwy 
with sewvants; wet >w< thy >_> tongue ^.^ tang arguments of ^w^ state; put 
>w< thysewf x3 into x3 the twick of ÚwÚ singuwawity. :33 She OwO thus :3 advises uWu thee :3 that 
:3 sighs fow thee. ÚwÚ Wemembew who :33 commended >w< thy >w< yewwow stockings, ÚwÚ and 
>w< wish'd to >_> see uWu thee OwO evew cwoss-gawtew'd. UwU I say, UwU wemembew, Go ^.^ to, 
xDD thou awt made, >_> if xDD thou desiw'st to be so; >_> if >_> nyot, wet ;;w;; me >_> see uWu thee 
:3 a steward still, x3 the fewwow of x3 sewvants, ÚwÚ and nyot ÚwÚ wowthy to :33 touch 
Fowtunye's xDD fingews. uWu Faweweww. :33 She :3 that ^.^ wouwd x3 awtew >_< sewvices with 
ÚwÚ thee, 
^-^ THE FORTUNATE-UNHAPPY.' 

^.^ Daywight ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ champain discovers nyot more. This >_> is open. UwU I xDD wiww be 
:3 pwoud, UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ wead ;;w;; powitic OwO authows, UwU I xDD wiww >_> baffwe Sir Toby, UwU I 
xDD wiww >_< wash x3 off gwoss ÚwÚ acquaintance, UwU I xDD wiww be point-devise x3 the xDD vewy 
man. UwU I UwU do nyot nyow >w< foow mysewf to wet xDD imaginyation uWu jade OwO me; fow 
every reason >_< excites to uWu this, :3 that x3 my uWu wady loves x3 me. :33 She uWu did 
ÚwÚ commend x3 my >w< yewwow ;;w;; stockings of late, ^.^ she uWu did praise x3 my >_< weg ^.^ being 
cwoss-gawtew'd; ÚwÚ and uWu in ÚwÚ this ^.^ she manifests herself to x3 my xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and 
with :3 a uWu kind of ^.^ injunction drives ;;w;; me to these :3 habits of her 
x3 wiking. UwU I >_> thank x3 my stars UwU I ^w^ am ^-^ happy. UwU I xDD wiww be >_> stwange, uWu stout, uWu in 
>w< yewwow stockings, ÚwÚ and xDD cwoss-gawtew'd, even with x3 the x3 swiftnyess of 
^.^ putting :3 on. Juv ÚwÚ and x3 my stars be OwO pwaised! :3 Hewe >_> is yet :3 a 
:33 postscwipt. 

[Weads] ;;w;; 'Thou ;;w;; canst nyot choose >_> but ^.^ knyow who UwU I am. ;;w;; If xDD thou 
>w< entewtain'st x3 my xDD wuv, wet >w< it appeaw uWu in >w< thy uWu smiwing; >w< thy ^-^ smiwes 
:33 become uWu thee well. Therefore uWu in x3 my x3 pwesence still :33 smiwe, uWu deaw x3 my 
sweet, UwU I :3 pwithee.' 

Juv, UwU I >_> thank thee. UwU I xDD wiww smile; UwU I xDD wiww UwU do evewything :3 that xDD thou 
wiwt uWu have x3 me. uWu Exit 
x3 FABIAN. UwU I xDD wiww nyot UwU give x3 my ÚwÚ pawt of ÚwÚ this spowt fow :3 a >w< pension of 
thousands to be paid from x3 the ^w^ Sophy. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU I couwd marry ÚwÚ this OwO wench fow ÚwÚ this uWu device. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ^w^ So couwd UwU I UwU too. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD And ^w^ ask nyo othew ^.^ dowwy with her >_> but xDD such anyothew ;;w;; jest. 

Entew >w< MAWIA 

;;w;; AGUECHEEK. x3 Nyow UwU I >_> nyeithew. 
x3 FABIAN. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my x3 nyobwe x3 guww-catchew. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou uWu set >w< thy :33 foot ^.^ o' x3 my >_< nyeck? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. :33 Ow ^.^ o' >_< minye OwO eithew? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Shall UwU I :33 pway x3 my OwO fweedom uWu at ;;w;; tway-twip, ÚwÚ and :33 become >w< thy 
ÚwÚ bond-swave? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. xDD I' ^w^ faith, ow UwU I OwO eithew? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Why, xDD thou x3 hast put ^.^ him uWu in xDD such :3 a dweam :3 that when x3 the 
x3 image of >w< it >w< weaves ^.^ him ^.^ he ^w^ must >w< wun >_> mad. 
MARIA. Nyay, >_> but >_> say true; does >w< it ^.^ wowk ;;w;; upon him? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Wike ÚwÚ aqua-vita! with :3 a :33 midwife. 
AIARIA. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww xDD then >_> see x3 the ÚwÚ fwuits of x3 the sport, mark :33 his 
xDD fiwst appwoach >w< befowe x3 my >_> wady. >w< He xDD wiww come to her uWu in >w< yewwow 
stockings, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis :3 a colour ^.^ she :33 abhows, ÚwÚ and xDD cwoss-gawtew'd, :3 a 
fashion ^.^ she :33 detests; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he xDD wiww ;;w;; smiwe ;;w;; upon hew, which xDD wiww nyow 
be UwU so ÚwÚ unsuitabwe to her uWu disposition, ^.^ being :33 addicted to :3 a 
^-^ mewanchowy >_< as ^.^ she ;;w;; is, :3 that >w< it ;;w;; cannyot >_> but turn ^.^ him x3 into :3 a OwO nyotabwe 
^w^ contempt. ;;w;; If xDD you xDD wiww >_> see :33 it, ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ;;w;; To x3 the :3 gates of uWu Tawtaw, xDD thou UwU most :3 excewwent ^.^ deviw of wit! 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. I'll >_< make one UwU too. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
OWIVIA'S >_< gawden 

Entew VIOWA, ÚwÚ and CWOWN with :3 a tabow 

>_> VIOWA. :3 Save ÚwÚ thee, fwiend, ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_< music! 
uWu Dost xDD thou ^w^ wive ^.^ by >w< thy tabow? 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^w^ wive ^.^ by x3 the :3 chuwch. 
>_> VIOWA. Awt xDD thou :3 a chuwchman? 
uWu CWOWN. No xDD such >w< mattew, :33 siw: UwU I UwU do ^w^ wive ^.^ by x3 the OwO chuwch; fow UwU I UwU do ^w^ wive 
uWu at x3 my house, ÚwÚ and x3 my ;;w;; house xDD doth stand ^.^ by x3 the :3 chuwch. 
>_> VIOWA. ^w^ So xDD thou uWu mayst >_> say x3 the x3 king wies ^.^ by :3 a beggar, >_> if :3 a beggar 
dwell nyeaw him; ow x3 the ^-^ chuwch >w< stands ^.^ by >w< thy >_> tabow, >_> if >w< thy tabow 
stand ^.^ by x3 the :3 chuwch. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> You uWu have said, sir. ;;w;; To >_> see ÚwÚ this >_> age! ^-^ A :33 sentence >_> is >_> but :3 a 
^-^ chev'wiw ;;w;; gwuv to :3 a ÚwÚ good >_< wit. How quickly x3 the wrong x3 side OwO may be 
>_> tuwn'd outward! 
>_> VIOWA. Nyay, ^w^ that's ^-^ cewtain; ;;w;; they :3 that dawwy nyicewy with wowds OwO may 
quickly >_< make them UwU wanton. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I :3 wouwd, OwO thewefowe, x3 my :3 sistew xDD had xDD had :33 nyame, sir. 
>_> VIOWA. Why, man? 
uWu CWOWN. Why, ^w^ siw, her name's :3 a wowd; ÚwÚ and to dawwy with :3 that ;;w;; wowd 
^w^ might >_< make x3 my :3 sistew UwU wanton. OwO But ÚwÚ indeed wowds OwO awe xDD vewy ^-^ wascaws 
xDD since xDD bonds x3 disgwac'd OwO them. 
>_> VIOWA. x3 Thy weason, man? 
uWu CWOWN. Troth, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ can yield xDD you >_< nyonye ^-^ without wowds, ÚwÚ and wowds 
OwO awe grown UwU so UwU fawse UwU I ^w^ am loath to ^-^ pwuv reason with OwO them. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I :33 wawwant xDD thou awt :3 a ^.^ mewwy fewwow ÚwÚ and ;;w;; caw'st fow OwO nyothing. 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, siw; UwU I UwU do :3 cawe fow something; >_> but uWu in x3 my OwO conscience, 
^w^ siw, UwU I UwU do nyot :3 cawe fow OwO you. ;;w;; If :3 that be to :3 cawe fow uWu nyothing, ^w^ siw, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it ^.^ wouwd >_< make xDD you :33 invisibwe. 
>_> VIOWA. Awt nyot xDD thou x3 the xDD Wady xDD Owivia's ^.^ foow? 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Nyo, :33 indeed, siw; x3 the xDD Wady >_> Owivia >_> has nyo :3 fowwy; ^.^ she xDD wiww >_< keep 
nyo x3 foow, ^w^ siw, >w< tiww ^.^ she be ^w^ mawwied; ÚwÚ and foows OwO awe >_< as ^.^ wike ;;w;; husbands 
>_< as piwchews OwO awe to hewwings- x3 the husband's x3 the biggew. UwU I ^w^ am 
ÚwÚ indeed nyot her x3 foow, >_> but her x3 cowwuptew of ÚwÚ wowds. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I saw uWu thee wate uWu at x3 the xDD Count uWu Owsinyo's. 
uWu CWOWN. Foolery, ^w^ siw, does UwU wawk about x3 the owb ^.^ wike x3 the UwU sun- >w< it 
uWu shinyes :3 evewywhewe. UwU I ^.^ wouwd be sowwy, ^w^ siw, >_> but x3 the >w< foow >_> shouwd be 
>_< as ;;w;; oft with x3 youw >_< mastew >_< as with x3 my mistress: think UwU I saw x3 youw 
^.^ wisdom :33 thewe. 
>_> VIOWA. Nyay, >w< an xDD thou pass ;;w;; upon uWu me, I'll nyo ^.^ mowe with thee. 
UwU Howd, there's ^w^ expenses fow thee. >_> [Giving :3 a coin] 
uWu CWOWN. Now Juv, uWu in :33 his :3 nyext :3 commodity of hair, >_> send x3 the :3 a >_< beawd! 
>_> VIOWA. ^-^ By x3 my troth, I'll tell ÚwÚ thee, UwU I ^w^ am almost >w< sick fow onye; 
:3 [Aside] ^w^ though UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have >w< it gwow on x3 my ^.^ chin.- Is >w< thy uWu wady 
:33 within? 
uWu CWOWN. Wouwd nyot :3 a :33 paiw of these uWu have bwed, UwU siw? 
>_> VIOWA. Yes, ^.^ being :33 kept togethew ÚwÚ and put to ÚwÚ use. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd :33 pway Lord Pandarus of ;;w;; Phwygia, ^w^ siw, to ;;w;; bwing :3 a 
x3 Cwessida to ÚwÚ this x3 Twoiwus. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I understand UwU you, siw; UwU 'tis weww ^.^ begg'd. 
>_> [Giving anyothew coin] 
uWu CWOWN. uWu The >w< mattew, UwU I hope, >_> is nyot ^.^ gweat, ^w^ siw, ^w^ begging >_> but :3 a xDD beggaw: 
x3 Cwessida UwU was :3 a x3 beggaw. OwO My uWu wady >_> is :33 within, sir. UwU I xDD wiww construe to 
them >_> whence xDD you >_< come; who xDD you OwO awe ÚwÚ and >_> what xDD you ^.^ wouwd OwO awe x3 out of 
x3 my wewkin- UwU I ^w^ might >_> say xDD 'ewement' >_> but x3 the ;;w;; wowd >_> is ÚwÚ uvwwown. 
uWu Exit CWOWN 
>_> VIOWA. This fewwow >_> is uWu wise enough to :33 pway x3 the foow; 
xDD And to UwU do :3 that weww cwaves :3 a uWu kind of >_< wit. 
>w< He ^w^ must uWu obsewve uWu theiw ^w^ mood on ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he jests, 
uWu The ;;w;; quawity of OwO pewsons, ÚwÚ and x3 the time; 
^.^ And, ^.^ wike x3 the haggawd, ^.^ check uWu at every ÚwÚ feathew 
:33 That x3 comes >w< befowe :33 his :33 eye. This >_> is :3 a pwactice 
;;w;; As full of labour >_< as :3 a uWu wise :33 man's awt; 
For >w< fowwy :3 that ^.^ he wisely >_< shows >_> is :33 fit; 
OwO But uWu wise men, xDD fowwy-faww'n, quite ^w^ taint uWu theiw >_< wit. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW TOBY ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW ANDWEW 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :3 Save UwU you, gentleman! 
>_> VIOWA. xDD And UwU you, sir. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ÚwÚ Dieu vous xDD gawde, >w< monsieuw. 
>_> VIOWA. Et vous aussi; votre sewviteuw. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. UwU I hope, ^w^ siw, xDD you >_< awe; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am x3 youws. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Will xDD you x3 encountew x3 the >_> house? OwO My uWu nyiece >_> is ^.^ desiwous xDD you 
>_> shouwd ÚwÚ entew, >_> if x3 youw OwO twade be to her. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I ^w^ am bound to x3 youw UwU nyiece, siw; UwU I mean, ^.^ she >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ wist of x3 my 
x3 voyage. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :3 Taste x3 youw ^.^ wegs, siw; put them to ;;w;; motion. 
>_> VIOWA. OwO My UwU wegs UwU do xDD bettew understand uWu me, ^w^ siw, than UwU I understand >_> what 
xDD you >_> mean ^.^ by OwO bidding ;;w;; me >_> taste x3 my wegs. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU I mean, to x3 go, ^w^ siw, to enter. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I xDD wiww answew xDD you with :33 gait ÚwÚ and x3 entwance. OwO But ^.^ we OwO awe 
pwevented. 

Entew OLIVIA ÚwÚ and >w< MAWIA 

:3 Most :3 excewwent ;;w;; accompwish'd UwU wady, x3 the heavens xDD wain UwU odouws on you! 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. :33 That :3 youth's :3 a OwO wawe >_> couwtiew- UwU 'Wain xDD odouws' OwO weww! 
>_> VIOWA. OwO My ;;w;; mattew hath nyo voice, UwU wady, >_> but to x3 youw UwU own UwU most x3 pwegnyant 
ÚwÚ and vouchsafed car. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. :3 'Odouws,' 'pregnant,' ÚwÚ and 'vouchsafed'- I'll get x3 'em aww 
>w< thwee aww weady. 
OLIVIA. Let x3 the >_< gawden doow be ^w^ shut, ÚwÚ and OwO weave ;;w;; me to x3 my ;;w;; heawing. 
UwU [Exeunt aww >_> but OLIVIA ÚwÚ and >w< VIOWA] Give ;;w;; me x3 youw uWu hand, sir. 
>_> VIOWA. OwO My >_< duty, UwU madam, ÚwÚ and UwU most humble service. 
OLIVIA. >_> What >_> is x3 youw :3 nyame? 
>_> VIOWA. ^.^ Cesawio >_> is x3 youw servant's :33 nyame, >w< faiw >_> Pwincess. 
OLIVIA. OwO My uWu sewvant, sir! >_< 'Twas >_< nyevew ^.^ mewwy wowwd 
Since ^-^ wowwy feignying UwU was ^w^ caww'd OwO compwiment. 
Y'awe xDD sewvant to x3 the xDD Count Orsino, >_< youth. 
>_> VIOWA. xDD And ^.^ he >_> is >_< youws, ÚwÚ and :33 his ^w^ must >_< nyeeds be yours: 
uWu Youw servant's xDD sewvant >_> is x3 youw uWu sewvant, UwU madam. 
OLIVIA. For :3 him, UwU I think nyot on him; fow :33 his thoughts, 
Wouwd ;;w;; they :3 wewe blanks rather than :3 fiww'd with me! 
>_> VIOWA. uWu Madam, UwU I come to ^w^ whet x3 youw ^-^ gentwe >_< thoughts 
On :33 his ^.^ behawf. 
OLIVIA. >_< O, ^.^ by x3 youw weave, UwU I pray xDD you: 
UwU I ;;w;; bade xDD you >_< nyevew speak again of him; 
But, ^.^ wouwd xDD you undewtake anyothew ^.^ suit, 
UwU I xDD had rather hear xDD you to sowicit :3 that 
Than uWu music from x3 the spheres. 
>_> VIOWA. >_< Deaw lady- 
OLIVIA. Give ;;w;; me weave, :33 beseech OwO you. UwU I uWu did send, 
>w< Aftew x3 the >w< wast ^.^ enchantment xDD you uWu did UwU hewe, 
^-^ A OwO wing uWu in OwO chase of uWu you; UwU so uWu did UwU I abuse 
Myself, x3 my uWu sewvant, x3 and, UwU I feaw uWu me, OwO you. 
;;w;; Undew x3 youw x3 hawd construction ^w^ must UwU I ^.^ sit, 
;;w;; To force :3 that on xDD you uWu in :3 a >_> shamefuw x3 cunnying 
>_< Which xDD you UwU knyew >_< nyonye of x3 youws. >_> What ^w^ might xDD you x3 think? 
:3 Have xDD you nyot uWu set >_< minye honour uWu at x3 the >w< stake, 
xDD And OwO baited >w< it with aww x3 th' ^-^ unmuzzwed >_< thoughts 
:33 That tywannyous >_< heawt ^.^ can x3 think? ;;w;; To one of x3 youw ^w^ weceiving 
Enyough >_> is shown: :3 a ^.^ cypwess, nyot :3 a x3 bosom, 
Hides x3 my ;;w;; heawt. So, wet ;;w;; me hear xDD you >_< speak. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I x3 Pity >w< YOU. 
OLIVIA. >w< That's :3 a degwee to love. 
>_> VIOWA. :3 Nyo, nyot :3 a UwU gwize; fow UwU 'tis :3 a uWu vuwgaw xDD pwoof 
:33 That xDD vewy ;;w;; oft ^.^ we pity enemies. 
OLIVIA. Why, >w< then, uWu methinks UwU 'tis time to ;;w;; smiwe ;;w;; again. 
x3 O ^w^ wowwd, >w< how ^-^ apt x3 the poor OwO awe to be uWu pwoud! 
;;w;; If one >_> shouwd be :3 a ^.^ pwey, >w< how much x3 the xDD bettew 
;;w;; To faww >w< befowe x3 the wion than x3 the wowf! xDD [Cwock >w< stwikes] 
uWu The >w< cwock x3 upbwaids ;;w;; me with x3 the uWu waste of uWu time. 
^w^ Be nyot afraid, ÚwÚ good uWu youth; UwU I xDD wiww nyot uWu have uWu you; 
xDD And ^w^ yet, when wit ÚwÚ and :33 youth >_> is come to ^-^ hawvest, 
uWu Youw >w< wife >_> is ^.^ wike to reap :3 a OwO pwopew man. 
>_> Thewe wies x3 youw :3 way, >_< due west. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU Then westward-ho! 
Gwace ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good uWu disposition >_< attend x3 youw wadyship! 
You'll uWu nyothing, UwU madam, to x3 my ;;w;; wowd ^.^ by me? 
OLIVIA. >_< Stay. 
UwU I :33 pwithee tell ;;w;; me >_> what xDD thou think'st of x3 me. 
>_> VIOWA. :33 That xDD you UwU do think xDD you OwO awe nyot >_> what xDD you x3 awe. 
OLIVIA. ;;w;; If UwU I think >_> so, UwU I think x3 the same of OwO you. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU Then think xDD you >w< wight: UwU I ^w^ am nyot >_> what UwU I am. 
OLIVIA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you :3 wewe >_< as UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD you OwO be! 
>_> VIOWA. Wouwd >w< it be better, UwU madam, than UwU I :33 am? 
UwU I ÚwÚ wish >w< it xDD might, fow nyow UwU I ^w^ am x3 youw xDD foow. 
OLIVIA. >_< O, >_> what :3 a deal of ^w^ scown :33 wooks >_> beautifuw 
^w^ In x3 the x3 contempt ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ angew of :33 his wip! 
^-^ A OwO muwd'wous guilt >_< shows nyot itsewf ^.^ mowe >w< soon 
Than wuv :3 that ^.^ wouwd xDD seem :3 hid: love's >w< nyight >_> is xDD nyoon. 
;;w;; Cesawio, ^.^ by x3 the >_< woses of x3 the spring, 
^-^ By ÚwÚ maidhood, honyouw, truth, ÚwÚ and every ÚwÚ thing, 
UwU I wuv uWu thee UwU so :3 that, maugre aww >w< thy pride, 
x3 Nyow wit nor reason ^.^ can x3 my passion :33 hide. 
Do nyot extowt >w< thy weasons from ÚwÚ this clause, 
For :3 that UwU I woo, xDD thou >_< thewefowe x3 hast nyo cause; 
OwO But rather reason OwO thus with reason ÚwÚ fettew: 
Wuv >_< sought >_> is UwU good, >_> but UwU given :33 unsought >_> is ^-^ bettew. 
>_> VIOWA. ^-^ By innyocence UwU I x3 sweaw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 my youth, 
UwU I uWu have one uWu heawt, one x3 bosom, ÚwÚ and one truth, 
xDD And :3 that nyo OwO woman uWu has; nor >_< nyevew >_< nyonye 
Shall mistwess be of :33 it, :3 save UwU I >_< awonye. 
xDD And UwU so adieu, ÚwÚ good x3 madam; >_< nyevew ^.^ mowe 
Will UwU I x3 my xDD mastew's tears to xDD you >_< depwowe. 
OLIVIA. ÚwÚ Yet come again; fow xDD thou ^-^ pewhaps uWu mayst move 
:33 That >_< heawt which nyow uWu abhows to ^.^ wike :33 his love. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OWIVIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY, ÚwÚ SIW ANDWEW ÚwÚ and xDD FABIAN 

;;w;; AGUECHEEK. :3 Nyo, ^w^ faith, I'll nyot xDD stay :3 a jot wongew. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. x3 Thy weason, uWu deaw ÚwÚ venyom, UwU give >w< thy reason. 
x3 FABIAN. >_> You ^w^ must >_< nyeeds yield x3 youw weason, Sir ^w^ Andwew. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. OwO Mawwy, UwU I saw x3 youw uWu nyiece UwU do ^.^ mowe ;;w;; favouws to x3 the OwO Count's 
servingman than OwO evew ^.^ she ÚwÚ bestow'd ;;w;; upon OwO me; UwU I OwO saw't :33 i' x3 th' 
^-^ owchawd. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Did ^.^ she >_> see uWu thee x3 the while, ;;w;; owd boy? Teww ;;w;; me x3 that. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ;;w;; As uWu pwain >_< as UwU I >_> see xDD you now. 
x3 FABIAN. This UwU was :3 a great :33 awgument of wuv uWu in her toward OwO you. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. uWu 'Swight! xDD wiww xDD you >_< make >w< an >w< ass ^.^ o' me? 
x3 FABIAN. UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv >w< it wegitimate, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; upon x3 the >w< oaths of ^w^ judgment 
ÚwÚ and reason. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD And ;;w;; they uWu have :33 been ^w^ gwand-juwymen xDD since >w< befowe Noah UwU was :3 a 
ÚwÚ saiwow. 
x3 FABIAN. :33 She uWu did x3 show ^.^ favouw to x3 the :33 youth uWu in x3 youw ^.^ sight >w< onwy to 
^.^ exaspewate UwU you, to awake x3 youw dormouse uWu vawouw, to put fire uWu in 
x3 youw >_< heawt ÚwÚ and >_> bwimstonye uWu in x3 youw liver. >_> You >_> shouwd xDD then uWu have 
accosted >w< hew; ÚwÚ and with x3 some :3 excewwent jests, fire-new from x3 the 
^w^ mint, xDD you >_> shouwd uWu have bang'd x3 the :33 youth x3 into :33 dumbnyess. This UwU was 
>_> wook'd fow uWu at x3 youw uWu hand, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this UwU was baulk'd. uWu The :3 doubwe gilt of 
ÚwÚ this x3 oppowtunyity xDD you wet time >_< wash ^w^ off, ÚwÚ and xDD you OwO awe nyow saiw'd 
x3 into x3 the ^.^ nyowth of x3 my >_> wady's ^-^ opinyion; :3 whewe xDD you xDD wiww ^w^ hang ^.^ wike >w< an 
xDD icicwe on Dutchman's UwU beawd, ^w^ unwess xDD you UwU do xDD wedeem >w< it ^.^ by x3 some 
>w< waudabwe x3 attempt xDD eithew of valour ow policy. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ;;w;; An't be xDD any :3 way, >w< it ^w^ must be with uWu vawouw, fow UwU powicy UwU I 
:33 hate; UwU I xDD had >_< as UwU wief be :3 a ^-^ Bwownyist >_< as :3 a powitician. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Why, >w< then, buiwd ;;w;; me >w< thy fowtunyes ;;w;; upon x3 the >_< basis of 
;;w;; vawouw. Challenge ;;w;; me x3 the OwO Count's :33 youth to >w< fight with him; ÚwÚ huwt 
^.^ him uWu in eleven UwU pwaces. OwO My uWu nyiece UwU shaww OwO take ^-^ nyote of uWu it; ÚwÚ and :33 assuwe 
>w< thysewf there >_> is nyo love-broker uWu in x3 the wowwd ^.^ can ^.^ mowe :3 pwevaiw uWu in 
:33 man's ÚwÚ commendation with OwO woman than wepowt of ;;w;; vawouw. 
x3 FABIAN. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo uWu way >_> but uWu this, Sir ^w^ Andwew. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Will xDD eithew of xDD you UwU beaw ;;w;; me :3 a challenge to him? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^w^ Go, >w< wwite >w< it uWu in :3 a martial xDD hand; be curst ÚwÚ and bwief; >w< it >_> is 
nyo ;;w;; mattew >w< how witty, UwU so >w< it be uWu ewoquent ÚwÚ and full of invention. 
;;w;; Taunt ^.^ him with x3 the x3 wicense of ink; >_> if xDD thou thou'st ^.^ him x3 some 
ÚwÚ thwice, >w< it UwU shaww nyot be >_< amiss; ÚwÚ and >_< as UwU many wies >_< as xDD wiww >_< wie uWu in 
>w< thy >w< sheet of paper, awthough x3 the >w< sheet :3 wewe big enough fow x3 the 
x3 bed of Wawe uWu in England, uWu set x3 'em down; OwO go about :3 it. Let there be 
^.^ gaww enough uWu in >w< thy uWu ink, ^w^ though xDD thou >w< wwite with :3 a ^w^ goose-pen, nyo 
:3 mattew. About :3 it. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Whewe UwU shaww UwU I find you? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^-^ We'ww caww uWu thee uWu at x3 the ^-^ cubicuwo. ^w^ Go. 
uWu Exit ÚwÚ SIW ANDWEW 
x3 FABIAN. This >_> is :3 a uWu deaw ;;w;; manyakin to UwU you, Sir :3 Toby. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU I uWu have :33 been uWu deaw to :3 him, lad- x3 some >w< two thousand :33 stwong, 
ow :3 so. 
x3 FABIAN. We UwU shaww uWu have :3 a OwO wawe >_> wettew from him; >_> but you'ww nyot 
^.^ dewivew't? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD Nyevew :33 twust ;;w;; me :33 then; ÚwÚ and ^.^ by aww means stir on x3 the :33 youth 
to >w< an answer. UwU I think oxen ÚwÚ and wainwopes ;;w;; cannyot UwU hawe them 
together. For Andrew, >_> if ^.^ he :3 wewe ^-^ open'd ÚwÚ and xDD you find UwU so much 
:3 bwood uWu in :33 his wivew >_< as xDD wiww clog x3 the :33 foot of :3 a >_< fwea, I'll eat x3 the 
xDD west of x3 th' anatomy. 
x3 FABIAN. xDD And :33 his >_< opposite, x3 the youth, bears uWu in :33 his >w< visage nyo great 
presage of ÚwÚ cwuewty. 

Entew >w< MAWIA 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Wook :3 whewe x3 the xDD youngest wren of >w< nyinye ^w^ comes. 
MARIA. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ desiwe x3 the >w< spween, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww laugh youwsewves x3 into 
xDD stitches, ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. uWu Yond guww Mawvowio >_> is turned heathen, :3 a xDD vewy 
renegado; fow there >_> is nyo Christian :3 that means to be ÚwÚ saved ^.^ by 
believing rightly ^.^ can OwO evew ^-^ bewieve xDD such xDD impossibwe >w< passages of 
gwossnyess. He's uWu in >w< yewwow x3 stockings. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. xDD And ^-^ cwoss-gawtew'd? 
MARIA. :3 Most viwwainyouswy; ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ pedant :3 that keeps :3 a OwO schoow :33 i' x3 th' 
:3 chuwch. UwU I uWu have >_< dogg'd ^.^ him ^.^ wike :33 his murderer. >w< He does UwU obey every 
:33 point of x3 the >_> wettew :3 that UwU I ÚwÚ dwopp'd to ÚwÚ betway ^.^ him. >w< He does ;;w;; smiwe 
:33 his OwO face x3 into ^.^ mowe lines than >_> is uWu in x3 the x3 nyew ^.^ map with x3 the 
^.^ augmentation of x3 the ^-^ Indies. >_> You uWu have nyot :3 seen xDD such :3 a ^.^ thing >_< as 
ÚwÚ 'tis; UwU I ^.^ can hardly ÚwÚ fowbeaw OwO huwwing ^.^ things uWu at ^.^ him. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 my uWu wady 
xDD wiww strike him; >_> if ^.^ she UwU do, he'ww ;;w;; smiwe ÚwÚ and x3 take't fow :3 a great 
UwU favouw. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing us, ;;w;; bwing >_> us :3 whewe ^.^ he >w< is. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew x3 SEBASTIAN ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ ANTONyIO 

:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ^.^ by x3 my xDD wiww uWu have troubled uWu you; 
OwO But xDD since xDD you >_< make x3 youw :3 pweasuwe of x3 youw pains, 
UwU I xDD wiww nyo further UwU chide OwO you. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I couwd nyot xDD stay x3 behind xDD you: x3 my >_> desiwe, 
uWu Mowe ^-^ shawp than xDD fiwed >w< steew, uWu did ^w^ spuw ;;w;; me forth; 
xDD And nyot aww wuv to >_> see :3 you- ^w^ though UwU so much 
;;w;; As ^w^ might uWu have drawn one to :3 a longer ^-^ voyage- 
OwO But ^.^ jeawousy >_> what ^w^ might befaww x3 youw twavew, 
uWu Being :33 skiwwess uWu in these ^.^ pawts; which to :3 a uWu stwangew, 
x3 Unguided ÚwÚ and OwO unfwiended, often ^-^ pwuv 
^-^ Wough ÚwÚ and uWu unhospitabwe. OwO My ^.^ wiwwing xDD wuv, 
uWu The rather ^.^ by these arguments of ;;w;; feaw, 
Set fowth uWu in x3 youw ÚwÚ puwsuit. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. OwO My uWu kind Antonio, 
UwU I ^.^ can nyo othew answew >_< make >_> but thanks, 
xDD And thanks, ÚwÚ and OwO evew ^w^ thanks; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; oft ÚwÚ good tuwns 
^w^ Awe >w< shuffw'd x3 off with xDD such uncurrent :33 pay; 
OwO But :3 wewe x3 my ^.^ wowth >_< as >_> is x3 my >_> conscience OwO fiwm, 
>_> You >_> shouwd find xDD bettew UwU deawing. x3 What's to ^-^ do? 
Shall ^.^ we OwO go >_> see x3 the ÚwÚ wewiques of ÚwÚ this >_< town? 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_< To-mowwow, siw; best xDD fiwst OwO go >_> see x3 youw ÚwÚ wodging. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I ^w^ am nyot OwO weawy, ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis ^-^ wong to ^w^ nyight; 
UwU I pray UwU you, wet >_> us satisfy UwU ouw eyes 
With x3 the ^w^ memowiaws ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ things of fame 
:33 That UwU do renown ÚwÚ this >_> city. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Wouwd you'd UwU pawdon x3 me. 
UwU I UwU do nyot ^-^ without danger UwU wawk these >_< stweets: 
Once uWu in :3 a x3 sea-fight uWu 'gainst x3 the xDD Count :33 his galleys 
UwU I uWu did x3 some ^w^ sewvice; of xDD such :3 nyote, :33 indeed, 
^.^ That, :3 wewe UwU I >_> ta'en UwU hewe, >w< it ^.^ wouwd scawce be ^w^ answew'd. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ÚwÚ Bewike xDD you >_< swew great ^w^ nyumbew of :33 his ^-^ peopwe. 
UwU ANTONIO.Th' offence >_> is nyot of xDD such :3 a bwoody >_< nyatuwe; 
Awbeit x3 the ;;w;; quawity of x3 the time ÚwÚ and ^-^ quawwew 
^.^ Might weww uWu have UwU given >_> us bwoody awgument. 
^.^ It ^w^ might uWu have xDD since :33 been x3 answew'd uWu in repaying 
>_> What ^.^ we >_> took from OwO them; ^w^ which, fow ;;w;; twaffic's ^w^ sake, 
:3 Most of UwU ouw UwU city ^.^ did. Onwy mysewf :33 stood out; 
For ^w^ which, >_> if UwU I be wapsed uWu in ÚwÚ this pwace, 
UwU I UwU shaww x3 pay deaw. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Do nyot xDD then UwU wawk ^w^ too open. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^.^ It xDD doth nyot ;;w;; fit x3 me. UwU Howd, ^w^ siw, hewe's x3 my purse; 
^w^ In x3 the south uWu subuwbs, uWu at x3 the Elephant, 
Is best to ;;w;; wodge. UwU I xDD wiww >_< bespeak UwU ouw ;;w;; diet, 
Whiwes xDD you beguile x3 the time ÚwÚ and >w< feed x3 youw >_< knyowwedge 
With >w< viewing of x3 the xDD town; there UwU shaww xDD you uWu have x3 me. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Why UwU I x3 youw :33 puwse? 
>_> ANTONyIO. Haply x3 youw ^w^ eye UwU shaww >w< wight ;;w;; upon x3 some uWu toy 
>_> You uWu have ^.^ desiwe to ^.^ puwchase; ÚwÚ and x3 youw store, 
UwU I >_< think, >_> is nyot fow idle ;;w;; mawkets, sir. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. I'll be x3 youw UwU puwse-beawew, ÚwÚ and OwO weave xDD you fow 
^-^ An hour. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ;;w;; To x3 th' >_> Ewephant. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I UwU do ^.^ wemembew. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
OWIVIA'S >_< gawden 

Entew OLIVIA ÚwÚ and >w< MAWIA 

OLIVIA. UwU I uWu have sent ÚwÚ aftew him; ^.^ he ;;w;; says he'ww x3 come. 
How UwU shaww UwU I >_> feast him? >_> What bestow of him? 
For :33 youth >_> is xDD bought ^.^ mowe ;;w;; oft than begg'd ow xDD bowwow'd. 
UwU I speak ^w^ too xDD woud. 
:3 Whewe's >_> Mawvowio? >w< He >_> is >_> sad ÚwÚ and x3 civiw, 
xDD And ^w^ suits weww fow :3 a xDD sewvant with x3 my fortunes. 
Whewe >_> is >_> Mawvowio? 
MARIA. He's uWu coming, x3 madam; >_> but uWu in xDD vewy ;;w;; stwange ^-^ mannyew. 
>w< He >_> is >_< suwe possess'd, UwU madam. 
OLIVIA. Why, UwU what's x3 the ^.^ mattew? ÚwÚ Does ^.^ he ^-^ wave? 
MARIA. :3 Nyo, UwU madam, ^.^ he does >_< nyothing >_> but smile. uWu Youw >w< wadyship :3 wewe 
best to uWu have x3 some xDD guawd about xDD you >_> if ^.^ he >_< come; fow >_< suwe x3 the x3 man >_> is 
xDD tainted in's wits. 
OLIVIA. Go caww ^.^ him hithew. uWu Exit >w< MAWIA 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as ^-^ mad >_< as xDD he, 
;;w;; If >_> sad ÚwÚ and ^.^ mewwy ^-^ madnyess equal >w< be. 

^.^ We-entew >w< MAWIA with x3 MAWVOWIO 

How now, OwO Mawvowio! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ÚwÚ Sweet UwU wady, :3 ho, ho. 
OLIVIA. ^w^ Smiw'st thou? 
UwU I sent fow uWu thee ;;w;; upon :3 a >_> sad :33 occasion. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. :33 Sad, x3 wady? UwU I couwd be OwO sad. This does >_< make x3 some 
:3 obstwuction uWu in x3 the bwood, ÚwÚ this cwoss-gawtewing; >_> but >_> what of ^-^ that? 
;;w;; If >w< it uWu pwease x3 the ^w^ eye of one, >w< it >_> is with ;;w;; me >_< as x3 the xDD vewy true 
sonnet ^w^ is: ÚwÚ 'Pwease one ÚwÚ and uWu pwease :33 aww.' 
OLIVIA. Why, >w< how dost UwU thou, man? >_> What >_> is x3 the ;;w;; mattew with thee? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ÚwÚ Nyot black uWu in x3 my UwU mind, ^w^ though >w< yewwow uWu in x3 my wegs. 
^.^ It uWu did come to :33 his ^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; commands UwU shaww be ^-^ executed. 
UwU I think ^.^ we UwU do ^.^ knyow x3 the x3 sweet Roman >w< hand. 
OLIVIA. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou OwO go to ^.^ bed, >_> Mawvowio? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ;;w;; To bed? Ay, ^w^ sweetheawt, ÚwÚ and I'll come to thee. 
OLIVIA. ^w^ God uWu comfowt uWu thee! Why dost xDD thou ;;w;; smiwe >_> so, ÚwÚ and :3 kiss >w< thy uWu hand 
UwU so oft? 
MARIA. How UwU do UwU you, >_> Mawvowio? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. At x3 youw :33 wequest? Yes, >_< nyightingawes answew :33 daws! 
MARIA. Why appeaw xDD you with ÚwÚ this ^w^ widicuwous boldness >w< befowe x3 my x3 wady? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. :3 'Be nyot :33 afwaid of greatness.' >_< 'Twas weww >w< wwit. 
OLIVIA. >_> What x3 mean'st xDD thou ^.^ by :3 that, >_> Mawvowio? 
^w^ AIAWVOWIO. xDD 'Some OwO awe bown :33 gweat,'- 
OLIVIA. ÚwÚ Ha? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. xDD 'Some ;;w;; achieve >_< gweatnyess,'- 
OLIVIA. >_> What say'st thou? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. uWu 'And x3 some uWu have :33 gweatnyess thwust ;;w;; upon xDD them.' 
OLIVIA. uWu Heaven restore uWu thee! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^-^ 'Wemembew who :33 commended >w< thy >w< yewwow ^-^ stockings,'- 
OLIVIA. :33 'Thy >w< yewwow :3 stockings?' 
:33 MAWVOWIO. uWu 'And >w< wish'd to >_> see uWu thee cross-garterd.' 
OLIVIA. 'Cross-garter'd?' 
:33 MAWVOWIO. x3 'Go ^.^ to, xDD thou >w< an made, >_> if xDD thou desiw'st to be ÚwÚ so';- 
OLIVIA. ^w^ Am UwU I ÚwÚ made? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. x3 'If >_> nyot, wet ;;w;; me >_> see uWu thee :3 a xDD sewvant UwU stiww.' 
OLIVIA. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is xDD vewy ;;w;; midsummew >w< madnyess. 

Entew SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. uWu Madam, x3 the xDD young ÚwÚ gentweman of x3 the xDD Count :33 Owsinyo's >_> is 
return'd; UwU I couwd hardly entweat ^.^ him back; ^.^ he ^.^ attends x3 youw 
uWu wadyship's pleasure. 
OLIVIA. I'll come to ^.^ him. ;;w;; [Exit >_> SEWVANT] ^-^ Good :33 Mawia, wet ÚwÚ this 
fewwow be >_> wook'd ;;w;; to. :3 Whewe's x3 my xDD cousin x3 Toby? Let x3 some of x3 my 
OwO peopwe uWu have :3 a >_> speciaw :3 cawe of him; UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have ^.^ him miscawwy 
fow x3 the half of x3 my ^w^ dowwy. 
Exeunt OLIVIA ÚwÚ and >w< MAWIA 
:33 MAWVOWIO. >_< O, ho! UwU do xDD you come nyeaw ;;w;; me ^.^ nyow? No xDD wowse x3 man than Sir 
Toby to wook to me! This concurs xDD diwectwy with x3 the uWu wettew: ^.^ she 
OwO sends ^.^ him on xDD puwpose, :3 that UwU I OwO may appeaw ^-^ stubbown to him; fow ^.^ she 
incites ;;w;; me to :3 that uWu in x3 the >_> wettew. 'Cast >w< thy humble ;;w;; swough,' ;;w;; says 
^w^ she. :3 'Be opposite with xDD kinsman, uWu suwwy with sewvants; wet >w< thy 
>_> tongue ^.^ tang with arguments of ^w^ state; put >w< thysewf x3 into x3 the twick 
of singularity' ÚwÚ and ^.^ consequentwy :33 sets down x3 the ^w^ mannyew how, ÚwÚ as: :3 a 
>_> sad >w< face, :3 a reverend OwO cawwiage, :3 a slow ;;w;; tongue, uWu in x3 the OwO habit of 
x3 some ^w^ siw of :3 nyote, ÚwÚ and UwU so forth. UwU I uWu have ^.^ wim'd >w< hew; >_> but >w< it >_> is 
Juv's >_< doing, ÚwÚ and Juv >_< make ;;w;; me thankful! xDD And when ^.^ she OwO went OwO away 
x3 nyow- ^w^ 'Wet ÚwÚ this fewwow be >_> wook'd to.' OwO 'Fewwow,' nyot uWu 'Mawvowio' nor 
ÚwÚ aftew x3 my >_< degwee, >_> but >_> 'fewwow.' Why, evewything adhewes together, 
:3 that nyo UwU dwam of :3 a :3 scwupwe, nyo :33 scwupwe of :3 a :3 scwupwe, nyo obstacle, 
nyo xDD incweduwous ow ^w^ unsafe ciwcumstance- >_> What ^.^ can be UwU said? Nyothing 
:3 that ^.^ can be ^.^ can come ^-^ between ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 the full pwospect of x3 my 
:33 hopes. xDD Weww, Juv, nyot I, >_> is x3 the doew of uWu this, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_> is to be 
x3 thanked. 

^.^ We-entew ;;w;; MAWIA, with ÚwÚ SIW TOBY ÚwÚ and xDD FABIAN 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_< Which uWu way >_> is xDD he, uWu in x3 the xDD nyame of :3 sanctity? ;;w;; If aww x3 the 
xDD deviws of heww be drawn uWu in UwU wittwe, ÚwÚ and :3 Wegion >_< himsewf >_< possess'd 
:3 him, yet I'll speak to ^.^ him. 
x3 FABIAN. :3 Hewe ^.^ he ;;w;; is, OwO hewe ^.^ he >w< is. How :3 is't with UwU you, UwU siw? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. How :3 is't with UwU you, man? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Go :33 off; UwU I discard OwO you. Let ;;w;; me ^.^ enjoy x3 my private; OwO go off. 
MARIA. Lo, >w< how OwO howwow x3 the >_< fiend xDD speaks within x3 him! Did nyot UwU I tell 
you? Sir Toby, x3 my uWu wady prays xDD you to uWu have :3 a :3 cawe of ^.^ him. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. xDD Ah, :33 ha! does ^.^ she so? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Go ^.^ to, OwO go >w< to; ÚwÚ peace, :3 peace; ^.^ we ^w^ must deal gently with ^.^ him. 
Let ;;w;; me >_< awonye. How UwU do UwU you, >_> Mawvowio? How :3 is't with you? What, ^w^ man, 
^.^ defy x3 the >_< deviw; ^.^ considew, uWu he's >w< an ;;w;; enyemy to mankind. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Do xDD you ^.^ knyow >_> what xDD you ^.^ say? 
MARIA. :33 Wa UwU you, >w< an xDD you speak :33 iww of x3 the deviw, >w< how ^.^ he UwU takes >w< it uWu at 
:33 heawt! >_> Pway ^w^ God ^.^ he be nyot UwU bewitched. 
x3 FABIAN. xDD Cawwy :33 his UwU watew to x3 th' uWu wise uWu woman. 
MARIA. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ and >w< it UwU shaww be donye to-mowwow UwU mownying, >_> if UwU I wive. OwO My 
uWu wady ^.^ wouwd nyot wose ^.^ him fow ^.^ mowe than I'll :3 say. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. How now, mistwess! 
MARIA. x3 O :3 Wowd! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU Pwithee howd >w< thy :3 peace; ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot x3 the >_> way. Do xDD you nyot 
>_> see xDD you move him? Let ;;w;; me awonye with ^.^ him. 
x3 FABIAN. No uWu way >_> but gentleness- gently, >_> gentwy. uWu The >_< fiend >_> is wough, 
ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot be roughly :33 us'd. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Why, >w< how now, x3 my :3 bawcock! 
How dost UwU thou, ^.^ chuck? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^.^ Siw! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Ay, uWu Biddy, come with x3 me. What, ^w^ man, UwU 'tis nyot fow >_< gwavity 
to :33 pway uWu at cherrypit with ;;w;; Satan. Hang :3 him, fouw x3 cowwiew! 
MARIA. >_< Get ^.^ him to >_> say :33 his pwayews, ÚwÚ good Sir Toby, get ^.^ him to pway. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. OwO My pwayews, minx! 
MARIA. :3 Nyo, UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot hear of godliness. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^w^ Go, ^w^ hang youwsewves :33 aww! >_> You OwO awe idle shallow >_> things; UwU I 
^w^ am nyot of x3 youw >_> ewement; xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ knyow ^.^ mowe x3 heweaftew. 
uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^-^ Is't possible? 
x3 FABIAN. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this :3 wewe pway'd ;;w;; upon :3 a stage now, UwU I couwd >_< condemn >w< it >_< as 
>w< an x3 impwobabwe ^w^ fiction. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ÚwÚ His xDD vewy ^w^ genyius hath :33 taken x3 the :3 infection of x3 the >_< device, 
man. 
MARIA. Nyay, pursue ^.^ him now, xDD west x3 the xDD device OwO take ^w^ aiw ÚwÚ and UwU taint. 
x3 FABIAN. Why, ^.^ we UwU shaww >_< make ^.^ him ^-^ mad indeed. 
MARIA. uWu The ;;w;; house xDD wiww be x3 the >w< quietew. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^.^ Come, we'll uWu have ^.^ him uWu in :3 a dark >_> woom ÚwÚ and UwU bound. OwO My uWu nyiece 
>_> is xDD awweady uWu in x3 the bewief :3 that uWu he's >_> mad. We OwO may carry >w< it thus, fow 
UwU ouw :3 pweasuwe ÚwÚ and :33 his OwO penyance, >w< tiww UwU ouw xDD vewy >_< pastime, ^w^ tiwed x3 out of 
:33 bweath, prompt >_> us to uWu have xDD mewcy on him; uWu at which time ^.^ we xDD wiww 
;;w;; bwing x3 the xDD device to x3 the ^-^ baw ÚwÚ and >_< cwown uWu thee fow :3 a ÚwÚ findew of 
ÚwÚ madmen. OwO But see, >_> but ^-^ see. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW ANDWEW 

x3 FABIAN. uWu Mowe ;;w;; mattew fow :3 a ^-^ May xDD mownying. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. >_> Hewe's x3 the ÚwÚ chawwenge; ^w^ wead :3 it. UwU I :33 wawwant there's ÚwÚ vinyegaw 
ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ peppew ÚwÚ in't. 
x3 FABIAN. ^-^ Is't UwU so saucy? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Ay, >w< is't, UwU I :33 wawwant him; UwU do >_> but wead. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Give x3 me. [Weads] 'Youth, ^-^ whatsoevew xDD thou awt, xDD thou awt 
>_> but :3 a ^.^ scuwvy fewwow.' 
x3 FABIAN. ^-^ Good ÚwÚ and ^w^ vawiant. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. [Weads] >_> 'Wondew >_> nyot, nor >_< admiwe nyot uWu in >w< thy UwU mind, >w< why UwU I UwU do 
caww uWu thee >_> so, fow UwU I xDD wiww x3 show uWu thee nyo reason >w< fow't.' 
x3 FABIAN. ^-^ A ÚwÚ good UwU nyote; :3 that keeps xDD you from x3 the ^w^ bwow of x3 the law. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. [Weads] ;;w;; 'Thou UwU com'st to x3 the xDD Wady Owivia, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 my ^.^ sight 
^.^ she x3 uses uWu thee kindwy; >_> but xDD thou wiest uWu in >w< thy throat; :3 that >_> is nyot 
x3 the ;;w;; mattew UwU I challenge uWu thee fow.' 
x3 FABIAN. Very ^-^ bwief, ÚwÚ and to :33 exceeding ÚwÚ good xDD sense- :3 wess. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. [Weads] ÚwÚ 'I xDD wiww wayway uWu thee x3 going ÚwÚ home; :3 whewe >_> if >w< it be 
>w< thy chance to OwO kiww ^-^ me'- 
x3 FABIAN. ^-^ Good. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ;;w;; 'Thou ^-^ kiww'st ;;w;; me ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; wogue ÚwÚ and :3 a OwO viwwain.' 
x3 FABIAN. UwU Stiww xDD you >_< keep ^.^ o' x3 th' >_< windy x3 side of x3 the law. ;;w;; Good! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. [Weads] 'Fawe uWu thee well; ÚwÚ and ^w^ God uWu have xDD mewcy ;;w;; upon one of 
UwU ouw :33 souws! >w< He OwO may uWu have xDD mewcy ;;w;; upon minye; >_> but x3 my UwU hope >_> is better, 
ÚwÚ and UwU so wook to thysewf. x3 Thy fwiend, >_< as xDD thou OwO usest :3 him, ÚwÚ and >w< thy 
sworn enyemy, 
ANDWEW x3 AGUECHEEK.' 

;;w;; If ÚwÚ this >_> wettew move ^.^ him >_> nyot, :33 his UwU wegs cannot. I'll >_> give't ^.^ him. 
MARIA. >_> You OwO may uWu have xDD vewy ;;w;; fit ;;w;; occasion ÚwÚ fow't; ^.^ he >_> is nyow uWu in x3 some 
>_< commewce with x3 my UwU wady, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by uWu depawt. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^w^ Go, Sir Andwew; ;;w;; scout ;;w;; me fow ^.^ him uWu at x3 the ^-^ cownyew of x3 the 
>_> owchawd, ^.^ wike :3 a bum-baily; UwU so >w< soon >_< as OwO evew xDD thou seest :3 him, ^-^ dwaw; 
ÚwÚ and >_< as xDD thou draw'st, >_< sweaw horrible; fow >w< it x3 comes to pass ;;w;; oft 
:3 that :3 a tewwibwe ;;w;; oath, with :3 a :3 swaggewing xDD accent :3 shawpwy >_< twang'd 
^w^ off, ;;w;; gives manhood ^.^ mowe :33 appwobation than OwO evew xDD pwoof itsewf ^.^ wouwd 
uWu have xDD eawn'd ^.^ him. Away. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Nyay, wet ;;w;; me awonye fow >w< sweawing. uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Now xDD wiww nyot UwU I ÚwÚ dewivew :33 his wettew; fow x3 the >_> behaviouw of 
x3 the xDD young ÚwÚ gentweman ;;w;; gives ^.^ him x3 out to be of ÚwÚ good ;;w;; capacity ÚwÚ and 
^w^ bweeding; :33 his >w< empwoyment ^-^ between :33 his ;;w;; wowd ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu nyiece confirms 
nyo :3 wess. Therefore ÚwÚ this letter, ^.^ being UwU so ^.^ excewwentwy ignorant, 
xDD wiww breed nyo tewwow uWu in x3 the ;;w;; youth: ^.^ he xDD wiww find >w< it x3 comes from :3 a 
:3 cwodpowe. But, ^w^ siw, UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ dewivew :33 his challenge ^.^ by ;;w;; wowd of 
uWu mouth, uWu set ;;w;; upon Aguecheek OwO nyotabwe wepowt of uWu vawouw, ÚwÚ and UwU dwive x3 the 
>_> gentweman- >_< as ^.^ knyow :33 his :33 youth xDD wiww uWu aptwy receive OwO it- x3 into :3 a UwU most 
^-^ hideous opinyion of :33 his rage, ^-^ skiww, ^w^ fuwy, ÚwÚ and xDD impetuosity. This 
xDD wiww UwU so :33 fwight them both :3 that ;;w;; they xDD wiww OwO kiww one anyothew ^.^ by x3 the 
look, ^.^ wike :33 cockatwices. 

^.^ We-entew OLIVIA. With VIOLA 

x3 FABIAN. :3 Hewe ^.^ he x3 comes with x3 youw >_> nyiece; UwU give them uWu way >w< tiww ^.^ he OwO take 
weave, ÚwÚ and presently ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU I xDD wiww ;;w;; meditate x3 the OwO whiwe ;;w;; upon x3 some >_> howwid ^-^ message fow :3 a 
chawwenge. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY, FABIAN, ÚwÚ and >w< MAWIA 
OLIVIA. UwU I uWu have uWu said ^w^ too much >w< unto :3 a >_< heawt of OwO stonye, 
xDD And laid >_< minye honour ^w^ too >_< unchawy out; 
>_> Thewe's ^-^ something uWu in ;;w;; me :3 that UwU wepwuvs x3 my fauwt; 
OwO But xDD such :3 a headstrong x3 potent ;;w;; fauwt >w< it >_> is 
:33 That >w< it >_> but :3 mocks reproof. 
>_> VIOWA. With x3 the same :33 haviouw :3 that x3 youw passion bears 
x3 Goes on x3 my xDD mastew's gwiefs. 
OLIVIA. Here, ^-^ weaw ÚwÚ this jewel fow OwO me; UwU 'tis x3 my x3 pictuwe. 
UwU Wefuse >w< it x3 nyot; >w< it hath nyo >_> tongue to ^-^ vex OwO you. 
xDD And UwU I :33 beseech xDD you come again ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
>_> What UwU shaww xDD you ^w^ ask of ;;w;; me :3 that I'll deny, 
:33 That honour >w< sav'd OwO may ;;w;; upon asking :3 give? 
>_> VIOWA. Nyothing >_> but OwO this- x3 youw true wuv fow x3 my master. 
OLIVIA. How with >_< minye honour OwO may UwU I UwU give ^.^ him :3 that 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have UwU given to you? 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I xDD wiww xDD acquit OwO you. 
OLIVIA. xDD Weww, come again ÚwÚ to-mowwow. >w< Fawe uWu thee well; 
^-^ A >_< fiend ^.^ wike uWu thee ^w^ might UwU beaw x3 my :3 souw to uWu heww. uWu Exit 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ SIW TOBY ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW xDD FABIAN 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Gentweman, ^w^ God :3 save thee. 
>_> VIOWA. xDD And UwU you, sir. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :33 That x3 defence xDD thou ÚwÚ hast, betake uWu thee tot. Of >_> what ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
x3 the >_< wwongs OwO awe xDD thou x3 hast donye :3 him, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; >_> but >w< thy 
;;w;; intewceptew, full of ÚwÚ despite, bwoody >_< as x3 the huntew, ^.^ attends 
uWu thee uWu at x3 the orchard OwO end. ;;w;; Dismount >w< thy ;;w;; tuck, be yare uWu in >w< thy 
pwepawation, fow >w< thy assaiwant >_> is quick, skiwfuw, ÚwÚ and deadly. 
>_> VIOWA. >_> You ;;w;; mistake, siw; UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe nyo x3 man hath xDD any ^-^ quawwew to OwO me; 
x3 my wemembwance >_> is xDD vewy fwee ÚwÚ and ^-^ cweaw from xDD any x3 image of offence 
donye to xDD any man. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. You'll find >w< it :33 othewwise, UwU I :33 assuwe uWu you; OwO thewefowe, >_> if xDD you 
howd x3 youw >w< wife uWu at xDD any >_< pwice, betake xDD you to x3 youw guard; fow x3 youw 
opposite hath uWu in ^.^ him >_> what youth, >_< stwength, ^-^ skiww, ÚwÚ and :33 wwath, ^.^ can 
furnish x3 man uWu withaw. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I pray UwU you, ^w^ siw, >_> what >_> is uWu he? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >w< He >_> is UwU knyight, xDD dubb'd with unhatch'd rapier ÚwÚ and on cawpet 
ÚwÚ considewation; >_> but ^.^ he >_> is :3 a ^.^ deviw uWu in >_> pwivate brawl. Souls ÚwÚ and 
>_< bodies hath ^.^ he divorc'd OwO thwee; ÚwÚ and :33 his incensement uWu at ÚwÚ this x3 moment 
>_> is UwU so :3 impwacabwe :3 that >_< satisfaction ^.^ can be >_< nyonye >_> but ^.^ by x3 pangs of 
:33 death ÚwÚ and xDD sepuwchwe. OwO Hob-nyob >_> is :33 his word- >_> give't ow x3 take't. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn again x3 into x3 the ;;w;; house ÚwÚ and ^.^ desiwe x3 some ÚwÚ conduct 
of x3 the >_> wady. UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^w^ fightew. UwU I uWu have heard of x3 some uWu kind of ;;w;; men 
:3 that put quarrels purposely on ;;w;; othews to >_> taste uWu theiw :3 vawouw; 
;;w;; bewike ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a x3 man of :3 that quirk. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU Siw, ^.^ nyo; :33 his >_< indignyation x3 dewives itsewf x3 out of :3 a xDD vewy 
uWu competent UwU injuwy; OwO thewefowe, get xDD you on ÚwÚ and UwU give ^.^ him :33 his desiwe. 
:3 Back xDD you UwU shaww nyot to x3 the house, ^w^ unwess xDD you undewtake :3 that with 
;;w;; me which with >_< as much :33 safety xDD you ^w^ might answew him; >_< thewefowe ;;w;; on, 
ow stwip x3 youw xDD swowd x3 stawk ^w^ nyaked; fow UwU meddwe xDD you ;;w;; must, ^w^ that's 
cewtain, ow >w< fowsweaw to ^-^ weaw iwon about OwO you. 
>_> VIOWA. This >_> is >_< as UwU unciviw >_< as x3 stwange. UwU I :33 beseech xDD you UwU do ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this 
^-^ couwteous ^.^ office >_< as to ^.^ knyow of x3 the knight >_> what x3 my offence to ^.^ him 
^w^ is: >w< it >_> is ^-^ something of x3 my >_> nyegwigence, >_< nyothing of x3 my puwpose. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU I Will UwU do :3 so. :33 Signyiow UwU Fabian, xDD stay xDD you ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman 
>w< tiww x3 my wetuwn. uWu Exit ÚwÚ SIW TOBY 
>_> VIOWA. >_> Pway UwU you, ^w^ siw, UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow of ÚwÚ this ^.^ mattew? 
x3 FABIAN. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the knight >_> is :33 incens'd OwO against UwU you, even to :3 a >w< mowtaw 
awbitwement; >_> but >_< nyothing of x3 the circumstance more. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, >_> what ^w^ mannyew of x3 man >_> is uWu he? 
x3 FABIAN. Nyothing of :3 that ;;w;; wondewfuw ;;w;; pwomise, to ^w^ wead ^.^ him ^.^ by :33 his ÚwÚ fowm, 
>_< as xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wike to find ^.^ him uWu in x3 the xDD pwoof of :33 his ;;w;; vawouw. >w< He >_> is 
:33 indeed, ^w^ siw, x3 the UwU most skiwfuw, x3 bwoody, ÚwÚ and uWu fataw opposite :3 that 
xDD you couwd xDD possibwy uWu have >_> found uWu in xDD any ÚwÚ pawt of ^w^ Iwwywia. Will xDD you 
UwU wawk uWu towawds him? UwU I xDD wiww >_< make x3 youw uWu peace with ^.^ him >_> if UwU I ;;w;; can. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I UwU shaww be much bound to xDD you xDD fow't. UwU I ^w^ am one :3 that ^.^ wouwd 
rather OwO go with ^w^ siw priest than ^w^ siw knyight. UwU I :3 cawe nyot who xDD knyows 
UwU so much of x3 my mettle. Exeunt 

^.^ We-entew ÚwÚ SIW TOBY With ÚwÚ SIW ANDWEW 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Why, ^w^ man, uWu he's :3 a xDD vewy >_< deviw; UwU I uWu have nyot :3 seen xDD such :3 a 
fiwago. UwU I xDD had :3 a pass with :3 him, wapiew, x3 scabbawd, ÚwÚ and all, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he 
;;w;; gives ;;w;; me x3 the ^.^ stuck uWu in with xDD such :3 a >w< mowtaw >_> motion :3 that >w< it >_> is 
:33 inyevitabwe; ÚwÚ and on x3 the ÚwÚ answew, ^.^ he >w< pays xDD you >_< as x3 suwewy >_< as x3 youw ;;w;; feet 
;;w;; hit x3 the x3 gwound ;;w;; they :33 step :3 on. ^-^ They >_> say ^.^ he >_> has :33 been UwU fencew to x3 the 
^w^ Sophy. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Pox on't, I'll nyot UwU meddwe with ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Ay, >_> but ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot nyow be ^w^ pacified; :3 Fabian ^.^ can scawce 
howd ^.^ him ^.^ yondew. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Pwague ^-^ on't; >w< an UwU I xDD thought ^.^ he xDD had :33 been valiant, ÚwÚ and UwU so 
x3 cunnying uWu in fence, ;;w;; I'd uWu have :3 seen ^.^ him damn'd ere ;;w;; I'd uWu have 
challeng'd ^.^ him. Let ^.^ him wet x3 the ;;w;; mattew xDD swip, ÚwÚ and I'll UwU give ^.^ him 
x3 my horse, ^w^ gwey Capilet. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. I'll >_< make x3 the ;;w;; motion. ;;w;; Stand UwU hewe, >_< make :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 show ^-^ on't; 
ÚwÚ this UwU shaww >w< end ^-^ without x3 the ;;w;; pewdition of souws. :3 [Aside] OwO Mawwy, 
I'll uWu wide x3 youw UwU howse >_< as weww >_< as UwU I uWu wide OwO you. 

^.^ We-entew xDD FABIAN ÚwÚ and VIOLA 

:33 [To ÚwÚ FABIAN] UwU I uWu have :33 his UwU howse to OwO take x3 up x3 the xDD quawwew; UwU I uWu have 
>w< pewsuaded ^.^ him x3 the :3 youth's :3 a deviw. 
x3 FABIAN. :33 [To ÚwÚ SIW OwO TOBY] >w< He >_> is >_< as >w< howwibwy >w< conceited of him; ÚwÚ and ^w^ pants 
ÚwÚ and :33 wooks pawe, >_< as >_> if :3 a UwU beaw :3 wewe uWu at :33 his xDD heews. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :33 [To >w< VIOWA] >_> Thewe's nyo ^.^ wemedy, :33 siw: ^.^ he xDD wiww >w< fight with xDD you 
for's ^-^ oath sake. OwO Mawwy, ^.^ he hath xDD bettew uWu bethought ^.^ him of :33 his 
quarrel, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ÚwÚ finds :3 that nyow scawce to be ^.^ wowth :33 tawking uWu of. 
Therefore dwaw fow x3 the supportance of :33 his :33 vow; ^.^ he uWu pwotests ^.^ he 
xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ huwt OwO you. 
>_> VIOWA. :3 [Aside] >_> Pway ^w^ God ;;w;; defend me! ^-^ A xDD wittwe ^.^ thing ^.^ wouwd >_< make ;;w;; me 
tell them >w< how much UwU I ^.^ wack of :3 a man. 
x3 FABIAN. Give x3 gwound >_> if xDD you >_> see ^.^ him furious. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^.^ Come, Sir Andrew, there's nyo ÚwÚ wemedy; x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman :33 wiww, 
fow :33 his x3 honyouw's ^w^ sake, uWu have one uWu bout with uWu you; ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot ^.^ by x3 the 
^.^ duewwo avoid uWu it; >_> but ^.^ he >_> has pwomis'd uWu me, >_< as ^.^ he >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman ÚwÚ and 
:3 a sowdiew, ^.^ he xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ huwt OwO you. :3 Come xDD on; to't. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. >_> Pway ^w^ God ^.^ he >_< keep :33 his ^.^ oath! ^w^ [They draw] 

Entew ÚwÚ ANTONyIO 

>_> VIOWA. UwU I UwU do :33 assuwe xDD you UwU 'tis OwO against x3 my :33 wiww. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_> Put x3 up x3 youw ^-^ swowd. ;;w;; If ÚwÚ this xDD young ÚwÚ gentweman 
:3 Have donye ^-^ offence, UwU I OwO take x3 the ;;w;; fauwt on ;;w;; me: 
;;w;; If xDD you ^-^ offend :3 him, UwU I fow ^.^ him ^.^ defy OwO you. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >_< You, sir! Why, >_> what OwO awe you? 
>_> ANTONyIO. One, ^w^ siw, :3 that fow :33 his wuv x3 dawes yet UwU do ^.^ mowe 
Than xDD you uWu have heard ^.^ him bwag to xDD you ^.^ he :33 wiww. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Nyay, >_> if xDD you be >w< an undertaker, UwU I ^w^ am fow OwO you. 
^w^ [They draw] 

Entew OFFICEWS 

x3 FABIAN. x3 O ÚwÚ good Sir Toby, ;;w;; howd! :3 Hewe come x3 the ^-^ officews. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :33 [To UwU ANTONyIO] I'll be with xDD you x3 anyon. 
>_> VIOWA. ÚwÚ Pway, ^w^ siw, put x3 youw xDD swowd up, >_> if xDD you ÚwÚ pwease. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. OwO Mawwy, xDD wiww I, siw; ÚwÚ and fow :3 that UwU I pwomis'd UwU you, I'll be 
>_< as ÚwÚ good >_< as x3 my OwO wowd. >w< He xDD wiww UwU beaw xDD you easily ÚwÚ and weins well. 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. This >_> is x3 the xDD man; UwU do >w< thy ^w^ office. 
^w^ SECOND :3 OFFICEW. Antonio, UwU I ;;w;; awwest uWu thee uWu at x3 the >_> suit 
Of xDD Count :3 Owsinyo. 
>_> ANTONyIO. >_> You UwU do ÚwÚ mistake uWu me, sir. 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, nyo xDD jot; UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 youw ^.^ favouw weww, 
;;w;; Though nyow xDD you uWu have nyo UwU sea-cap on x3 youw >_> head. 
^.^ Take ^.^ him :3 away; ^.^ he xDD knyows UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ him well. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I :3 Must OwO obey. :33 [To >w< VIOWA] This x3 comes with UwU seeking uWu you; 
OwO But there's nyo ÚwÚ wemedy; UwU I UwU shaww answew :3 it. 
>_> What xDD wiww xDD you UwU do, nyow x3 my ;;w;; nyecessity 
:3 Makes ;;w;; me to ^w^ ask xDD you fow x3 my :33 puwse? ^.^ It grieves ;;w;; me 
Much ^.^ mowe fow >_> what UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU do fow xDD you 
Than >_> what >_> befawws :3 mysewf. >_> You stand ^-^ amaz'd; 
OwO But be of UwU comfowt. 
^w^ SECOND :3 OFFICEW. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, xDD away. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I ^w^ must entweat of xDD you x3 some of :3 that money. 
>_> VIOWA. >_> What monyey, UwU siw? 
For x3 the >w< faiw OwO kindnyess xDD you uWu have ^w^ show'd ;;w;; me UwU hewe, 
xDD And ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ being :3 pwompted ^.^ by x3 youw xDD pwesent twoubwe, 
UwU Out of x3 my lean ÚwÚ and wow ability 
I'll xDD wend xDD you OwO something. OwO My xDD having >_> is nyot >_> much; 
I'll >_< make OwO division of x3 my xDD pwesent with uWu you; 
UwU Howd, there's half x3 my >_> coffew. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Will xDD you UwU deny ;;w;; me ^.^ nyow? 
^-^ Is't OwO possibwe :3 that x3 my deserts to xDD you 
UwU Can ^.^ wack pewsuasion? Do nyot tempt x3 my ^-^ misewy, 
Lest :3 that >w< it >_< make ;;w;; me UwU so unsound :3 a x3 man 
;;w;; As to x3 upbwaid xDD you with UwU those ^-^ kindnyesses 
:33 That UwU I uWu have donye fow OwO you. 
>_> VIOWA. UwU I ^.^ knyow of nyonye, 
x3 Nyow ^.^ knyow UwU I xDD you ^.^ by uWu voice ow xDD any >_> featuwe. 
UwU I ^-^ hate ingratitude ^.^ mowe uWu in :3 a x3 man 
Than wying, vainness, x3 babbwing dwunkennyess, 
:33 Ow xDD any ^w^ taint of :33 vice x3 whose >w< stwong ^.^ cowwuption 
^-^ Inhabits UwU ouw frail blood. 
>_> ANTONyIO. x3 O heavens :3 themsewves! 
^w^ SECOND :3 OFFICEW. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, UwU I pray xDD you ÚwÚ go. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Let ;;w;; me speak :3 a ^.^ wittwe. This :33 youth :3 that xDD you >_> see OwO hewe 
UwU I ^-^ snyatch'd one half x3 out of x3 the ^w^ jaws of UwU death, 
Reliev'd ^.^ him with xDD such xDD sanctity of xDD wuv, 
xDD And to :33 his ÚwÚ image, which >_> methought uWu did promise 
:3 Most venerable ^.^ wowth, uWu did UwU I OwO devotion. 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. x3 What's :3 that to us? uWu The time xDD goes ;;w;; by; xDD away. 
>_> ANTONyIO. But, >_< O, >w< how ^-^ viwe >w< an idol ;;w;; pwuvs ÚwÚ this >_< god! 
^.^ Thou ÚwÚ hast, UwU Sebastian, donye ÚwÚ good :33 featuwe ;;w;; shame. 
^w^ In ÚwÚ nyatuwe there's nyo x3 bwemish >_> but x3 the xDD mind: 
^-^ Nyonye ^.^ can be ^w^ caww'd :3 defowm'd >_> but x3 the unkind. 
x3 Viwtue >_> is ^w^ beauty; >_> but x3 the beauteous eviw 
^w^ Awe :33 empty trunks, o'ewfwouwish'd ^.^ by x3 the deviw. 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. uWu The x3 man gwows >_> mad. UwU Away with ^.^ him. 
^.^ Come, come, sir. 
>_> ANTONyIO. xDD Wead ;;w;; me :3 on. uWu Exit with OFFICEWS 
>_> VIOWA. Methinks :33 his wowds UwU do from xDD such passion fwy 
:33 That ^.^ he ^-^ bewieves :33 himsewf; UwU so UwU do nyot ^.^ I. 
^-^ Pwuv ^-^ twue, >_< imaginyation, >_< O, ^-^ pwuv ^-^ twue, 
:33 That I, uWu deaw brother, be nyow >_> ta'en fow you! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :3 Come hithew, ;;w;; knyight; come hithew, uWu Fabian; we'll whisper 
^-^ o'ew :3 a couplet ow >w< two of UwU most sage saws. 
>_> VIOWA. >w< He nyam'd >w< Sebastian. UwU I x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew ^.^ knyow 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU wiving uWu in x3 my gwass; even xDD such ÚwÚ and UwU so 
^w^ In ^.^ favouw UwU was x3 my bwothew; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he OwO went 
UwU Stiww uWu in ÚwÚ this fashion, :33 cowouw, ownyament, 
For ^.^ him UwU I uWu imitate. >_< O, >_> if >w< it prove, 
>_> Tempests OwO awe ;;w;; kind, ÚwÚ and ^-^ sawt ;;w;; waves >w< fwesh uWu in love! uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^-^ A xDD vewy ;;w;; dishonyest paltry ^-^ boy, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe :3 a x3 cowawd than :3 a 
;;w;; hawe. ÚwÚ His >_> dishonyesty >_> appeaws uWu in xDD weaving :33 his :33 fwiend OwO hewe uWu in 
;;w;; nyecessity ÚwÚ and :33 denying him; ÚwÚ and fow :33 his cowardship, ^w^ ask ÚwÚ Fabian. 
x3 FABIAN. ^-^ A xDD cowawd, :3 a UwU most devout xDD cowawd, religious uWu in :3 it. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. xDD 'Swid, I'll ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ him again ÚwÚ and xDD beat ^.^ him. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >w< Do; :33 cuff ^.^ him OwO soundwy, >_> but >_< nyevew dwaw >w< thy ^-^ swowd. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. xDD And UwU I UwU do nyot- uWu Exit 
x3 FABIAN. ^.^ Come, >_> wet's >_> see x3 the UwU event. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU I dawe uWu way xDD any monyey 'twill be >_< nyothing >_> yet. 
Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^.^ Befowe OWIVIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew x3 SEBASTIAN ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

uWu CWOWN. Will xDD you >_< make ;;w;; me ^-^ bewieve :3 that UwU I ^w^ am nyot sent fow you? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Go ^.^ to, OwO go ^.^ to, xDD thou awt :3 a >_< foowish fellow; wet ;;w;; me be ^-^ cweaw 
of thee. 
uWu CWOWN. Weww hewd ^.^ out, :33 i' >_< faith! :3 Nyo, UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow uWu you; nor UwU I ^w^ am nyot 
sent to xDD you ^.^ by x3 my UwU wady, to bid xDD you come speak with >w< hew; nor x3 youw 
xDD nyame >_> is nyot >_< Mastew ^w^ Cesawio; nor ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot x3 my x3 nyose >_> nyeithew. 
Nyothing :3 that >_> is UwU so >_> is :3 so. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I :33 pwithee uWu vent >w< thy >w< fowwy somewhewe ewse. 
^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st nyot x3 me. 
uWu CWOWN. :33 Vent x3 my xDD fowwy! >w< He >_> has heard :3 that ;;w;; wowd of x3 some great ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and 
nyow UwU appwies >w< it to :3 a xDD foow. :33 Vent x3 my xDD fowwy! UwU I ^w^ am :33 afwaid ÚwÚ this great 
^w^ wubbew, x3 the ^w^ wowwd, xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv :3 a cockney. UwU I :33 pwithee now, ungiwd 
>w< thy ^w^ stwangenyess, ÚwÚ and tell ;;w;; me >_> what UwU I UwU shaww uWu vent to x3 my >_> wady. Shall 
UwU I uWu vent to her :3 that xDD thou awt :33 coming? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I ^.^ pwithee, >_< foowish Greek, ÚwÚ depawt from OwO me; 
>_> Thewe's monyey fow ÚwÚ thee; >_> if xDD you ^.^ tawwy longer 
UwU I UwU shaww UwU give xDD wowse uWu payment. 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ By x3 my troth, xDD thou x3 hast >w< an open >w< hand. ;;w;; These uWu wise ;;w;; men :3 that 
UwU give foows monyey get x3 themsewves :3 a ÚwÚ good wepowt ÚwÚ aftew ^.^ fouwteen 
>_> yeaws' >_> puwchase. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW ANDREW, ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY, ÚwÚ and xDD FABIAN 

;;w;; AGUECHEEK. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, uWu have UwU I >w< met xDD you ^w^ again? 
>_< [Stwiking SEBASTIAN] >_> Thewe's fow OwO you. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Why, there's fow ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ and thewe, ÚwÚ and :33 thewe. 
^w^ Awe aww x3 the OwO peopwe uWu mad? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU Howd, ^w^ siw, ow I'll ^-^ thwow x3 youw ÚwÚ daggew ^-^ o'ew x3 the ÚwÚ house. 
[Holding SEBASTIAN] 
uWu CWOWN. This xDD wiww UwU I tell x3 my uWu wady stwaight. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be uWu in x3 some of 
x3 youw coats fow two-pence. uWu Exit 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. :3 Come ;;w;; on, siw; hold. 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. Nyay, wet ^.^ him >_< awonye. I'll OwO go anyothew uWu way to ^.^ wowk with 
him; I'll uWu have >w< an uWu action of ^-^ battewy OwO against :3 him, >_> if there be xDD any 
law uWu in ^-^ Iwwywia; ^w^ though UwU I >w< stwuck ^.^ him ÚwÚ fiwst, yet x3 it's nyo ;;w;; mattew fow 
x3 that. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Let OwO go >w< thy >w< hand. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, UwU I xDD wiww nyot wet xDD you ÚwÚ go. ^.^ Come, x3 my xDD young sowdiew, 
put x3 up x3 youw iwon; xDD you OwO awe weww ^w^ fwesh'd. :3 Come :3 on. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I xDD wiww be fwee from thee. >_> What wouldst xDD thou ^.^ nyow? 
;;w;; If xDD thou ^w^ daw'st tempt ;;w;; me further, dwaw >w< thy ^-^ swowd. [Draws] 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. What, UwU what? Nyay, xDD then UwU I ^w^ must uWu have >w< an ^.^ ounce ow >w< two of ÚwÚ this 
malapert :3 bwood from OwO you. [Draws] 

Entew OLIVIA 

OLIVIA. UwU Howd, Toby; on >w< thy :3 wife, UwU I :3 chawge uWu thee hold. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Madam! 
OLIVIA. Will >w< it be OwO evew >_< thus? :33 Ungwacious :3 wwetch, 
Fit fow x3 the ^-^ mountains ÚwÚ and x3 the barbarous caves, 
Whewe ^w^ mannyews ^w^ nye'ew :3 wewe pweach'd! UwU Out of x3 my ;;w;; sight! 
^w^ Be nyot ^.^ offended, uWu deaw Cesario- 
uWu Wudesby, be ÚwÚ gonye! 
Exeunt ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY, ÚwÚ SIW ANDREW, ÚwÚ and xDD FABIAN 
UwU I ^.^ pwithee, ^-^ gentwe fwiend, 
Let >w< thy >w< faiw wisdom, nyot >w< thy ^-^ passion, xDD sway 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this UwU unciviw ÚwÚ and :33 unjust ^-^ extent 
^w^ Against >w< thy peace. Go with ;;w;; me to x3 my house, 
xDD And hear xDD thou there >w< how UwU many ;;w;; fwuitwess ^-^ pwanks 
This ruffian hath ^w^ botch'd up, :3 that xDD thou theweby 
xDD Mayst ;;w;; smiwe uWu at UwU this. ^.^ Thou shalt nyot choose >_> but go; 
Do nyot deny. Beshrew :33 his :3 souw fow me! 
>w< He ÚwÚ stawted one poor >_< heawt of >_< minye uWu in thee. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >_> What wewish >_> is uWu in :3 this? How wuns x3 the stweam? 
:33 Ow UwU I ^w^ am mad, ow >_> ewse ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a UwU dweam. 
Let ^w^ fancy still x3 my sense uWu in ^w^ Wethe x3 steep; 
;;w;; If >w< it be OwO thus to x3 dweam, still wet ;;w;; me UwU sweep! 
OLIVIA. Nyay, come, UwU I UwU pwithee. Wouwd ÚwÚ thou'dst be wuw'd ^.^ by me! 
:33 SEBASTIAN. uWu Madam, UwU I :33 wiww. 
OLIVIA. >_< O, >_> say >_> so, ÚwÚ and UwU so OwO be! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OWIVIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew >w< MAWIA ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

MARIA. Nyay, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, put on ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gown ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this beawd; >_< make ^.^ him 
^-^ bewieve xDD thou awt Sir >_< Topas x3 the xDD cuwate; UwU do >w< it >w< quickwy. I'll caww 
Sir Toby x3 the ^.^ whiwst. uWu Exit 
uWu CWOWN. xDD Weww, I'll put >w< it ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and UwU I xDD wiww dissembwe mysewf in't; ÚwÚ and 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe x3 the xDD fiwst :3 that OwO evew dissembled uWu in xDD such :3 a xDD gown. UwU I 
^w^ am nyot ;;w;; taww enough to :33 become x3 the ^.^ function weww nor lean enough to 
be xDD thought :3 a ÚwÚ good student; >_> but to be uWu said >w< an xDD honyest x3 man ÚwÚ and :3 a 
ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ housekeepew xDD goes >_< as ^.^ faiwwy >_< as to >_> say :3 a careful x3 man ÚwÚ and :3 a 
great scholar. uWu The ^.^ competitows enter. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW TOBY ÚwÚ and >w< MAWIA 

ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Juv ;;w;; bwess ÚwÚ thee, >_< Mastew ^w^ Pawson. 
uWu CWOWN. ;;w;; Bonyos dies, Sir Toby; fow >_< as x3 the ;;w;; owd :33 hewmit of Pwague, :3 that 
>_< nyevew saw OwO pen ÚwÚ and uWu ink, xDD vewy ^.^ wittiwy uWu said to uWu nyiece of ^w^ King 
Gowboduc 'That :3 that >_> is :33 is'; UwU so I, ^.^ being >_< Mastew >_> Pawson, ^w^ am >_< Mastew 
*cries* Pawson; fow >_> what >_> is :33 'that' >_> but :3 that, ÚwÚ and >_> 'is' >_> but :33 is? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ;;w;; To :3 him, Sir Topas. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> What :3 ho, UwU I ;;w;; say! :3 Peace uWu in ÚwÚ this prison! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. uWu The x3 knyave UwU countewfeits well; :3 a ÚwÚ good knave. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. :33 [Within] Who ;;w;; cawws OwO thewe? 
uWu CWOWN. Sir >_< Topas x3 the ^-^ cuwate, who x3 comes to x3 visit Mawvowio x3 the 
>_> wunyatic. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Sir uWu Topas, Sir uWu Topas, ÚwÚ good Sir uWu Topas, OwO go to x3 my >_> wady. 
uWu CWOWN. Out, :3 hypewbowicaw ^w^ fiend! How >_> vexest xDD thou ÚwÚ this ;;w;; man! 
:3 Tawkest xDD thou >_< nyothing >_> but of ladies? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Weww said, >_< Mastew ^w^ Pawson. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Sir uWu Topas, >_< nyevew UwU was x3 man OwO thus wronged. ^-^ Good Sir uWu Topas, UwU do 
nyot think UwU I ^w^ am >w< mad; ;;w;; they uWu have laid ;;w;; me OwO hewe uWu in ^-^ hideous ÚwÚ dawknyess. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO Fie, xDD thou ;;w;; dishonyest Satan! UwU I caww uWu thee ^.^ by x3 the UwU most :3 modest 
^w^ tewms, fow UwU I ^w^ am one of UwU those ^-^ gentwe ^-^ onyes :3 that xDD wiww use x3 the ^.^ deviw 
>_< himsewf with uWu couwtesy. :3 Say'st xDD thou :3 that ;;w;; house >_> is ^-^ dawk? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ;;w;; As >_> heww, Sir Topas. 
uWu CWOWN. Why, >w< it hath ^w^ bay ^w^ windows transparent >_< as barricadoes, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
clerestories toward x3 the south ^.^ nyowth OwO awe >_< as >_< wustwous >_< as ebony; ÚwÚ and 
yet >w< compwainyest xDD thou of :33 obstwuction? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. UwU I ^w^ am nyot mad, Sir Topas. UwU I >_> say to xDD you ÚwÚ this ;;w;; house >_> is OwO dawk. 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ Madman, xDD thou errest. UwU I >_> say there >_> is nyo >w< dawknyess >_> but 
ÚwÚ ignyowance; uWu in which xDD thou awt ^.^ mowe puzzwed than x3 the ÚwÚ Egyptians uWu in 
uWu theiw fog. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. UwU I >_> say ÚwÚ this ;;w;; house >_> is >_< as dark >_< as ignorance, ^w^ though 
ÚwÚ ignyowance :3 wewe >_< as dark >_< as heww; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> say there UwU was >_< nyevew x3 man 
OwO thus x3 abus'd. UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^.^ mowe ^-^ mad than xDD you >_< awe; >_< make x3 the uWu twiaw of >w< it 
uWu in xDD any ^w^ constant x3 question. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> What >_> is x3 the opinyion of >_< Pythagowas UwU concewnying >w< wiwd foww? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. :33 That x3 the :3 souw of UwU ouw :3 gwandam ^w^ might haply ;;w;; inhabit :3 a xDD biwd. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> What think'st xDD thou of :33 his ^.^ opinyion? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. UwU I think ;;w;; nyobwy of x3 the x3 souw, ÚwÚ and nyo uWu way approve :33 his 
opinyion. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< Fawe uWu thee well. Remain xDD thou still uWu in ;;w;; dawknyess: xDD thou shalt 
howd x3 th' opinyion of >_< Pythagowas ere UwU I xDD wiww UwU awwow of >w< thy >_> wits; ÚwÚ and 
feaw to OwO kiww :3 a ^.^ woodcock, xDD west xDD thou ^w^ dispossess x3 the :3 souw of >w< thy 
>_> gwandam. >w< Fawe uWu thee well. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Sir uWu Topas, Sir :33 Topas! 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. OwO My UwU most exquisite Sir :33 Topas! 
uWu CWOWN. Nyay, UwU I ^w^ am fow aww ^w^ watews. 
MARIA. ^.^ Thou ÚwÚ mightst uWu have donye ÚwÚ this ^-^ without >w< thy ^w^ beawd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ gown: ^.^ he 
sees uWu thee not. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. ;;w;; To ^.^ him uWu in ^.^ thinye UwU own voice, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd >w< how xDD thou 
find'st ^.^ him. UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ we :3 wewe weww x3 wid of ÚwÚ this :33 knyavewy. ;;w;; If ^.^ he OwO may 
be conveniently UwU dewivew'd, UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he were; fow UwU I ^w^ am nyow UwU so uWu faw 
uWu in offence with x3 my uWu nyiece :3 that UwU I ;;w;; cannyot pursue with xDD any :33 safety 
ÚwÚ this spowt to x3 the >_> upshot. :3 Come ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by to x3 my ^.^ chambew. 
uWu Exit with >w< MAWIA 
uWu CWOWN. OwO [Sings] ;;w;; Hey, Wobin, jowwy Wobin, 
Teww ;;w;; me >w< how >w< thy uWu wady does. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^.^ Foow! 
uWu CWOWN. OwO [Sings] OwO My uWu wady >_> is >_> unkind, uWu pewdy. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^.^ Foow! 
uWu CWOWN. OwO [Sings] ÚwÚ Awas, >w< why >_> is ^.^ she so? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. uWu Foow UwU I ;;w;; say! 
uWu CWOWN. OwO [Sings] :33 She loves ;;w;; anyothew- Who calls, ^.^ ha? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^-^ Good x3 foow, >_< as OwO evew xDD thou wiwt OwO desewve weww uWu at x3 my uWu hand, 
OwO hewp ;;w;; me to :3 a ÚwÚ candwe, ÚwÚ and pen, uWu ink, ÚwÚ and OwO papew; >_< as UwU I ^w^ am :3 a 
gentweman, UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ wive to be >w< thankfuw to uWu thee xDD fow't. 
uWu CWOWN. >_< Mastew >_> Mawvowio? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Ay, ÚwÚ good xDD foow. 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Awas, ^w^ siw, >w< how UwU feww xDD you ;;w;; besides x3 youw five wits? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Fool, there UwU was >_< nyevew x3 man UwU so notoriously ;;w;; abus'd; 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as weww uWu in x3 my UwU wits, x3 foow, >_< as xDD thou art. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO But >_< as ^.^ weww? UwU Then xDD you OwO awe ^-^ mad :33 indeed, >_> if xDD you be nyo xDD bettew uWu in 
x3 youw :33 wits than :3 a xDD foow. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^-^ They uWu have OwO hewe ÚwÚ pwopewtied OwO me; >_< keep ;;w;; me uWu in ^-^ dawknyess, >_> send 
ministers to uWu me, ^.^ asses, ÚwÚ and UwU do aww ;;w;; they ^.^ can to OwO face ;;w;; me x3 out of x3 my 
wits. 
uWu CWOWN. Advise xDD you what. xDD you OwO say: x3 the xDD minyistew >_> is hewe. 
[Speaking >_< as ÚwÚ SIW ÚwÚ TOPAS] Malvolio, >w< thy :33 wits x3 the heavens restore! 
UwU Endeavouw >w< thysewf to sweep, ÚwÚ and OwO weave >w< thy :33 vain bibbwe-babbwe. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Sir :33 Topas! 
uWu CWOWN. xDD Maintain nyo wowds with :3 him, ÚwÚ good UwU fewwow.- UwU Who, I, UwU siw? ÚwÚ Nyot 
I, sir. ^w^ God UwU buy UwU you, ÚwÚ good Sir ^-^ Topas.- OwO Mawwy, :33 amen.- UwU I xDD wiww ^w^ siw, UwU I 
:33 wiww. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Fool, x3 foow, x3 foow, UwU I ;;w;; say! 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Awas, ^w^ siw, be uWu patient. >_> What >_> say UwU you, UwU siw? UwU I ^w^ am shent fow 
speaking to OwO you. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^-^ Good x3 foow, OwO hewp ;;w;; me to x3 some >w< wight ÚwÚ and x3 some ^.^ papew. 
UwU I tell uWu thee UwU I ^w^ am >_< as weww uWu in x3 my :33 wits >_< as xDD any x3 man uWu in ^w^ Iwwywia. 
uWu CWOWN. Well-a-day :3 that xDD you uWu wewe, sir! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this uWu hand, UwU I am. ^-^ Good x3 foow, x3 some uWu ink, paper, ÚwÚ and 
>_> wight; ÚwÚ and :33 convey >_> what UwU I xDD wiww uWu set down to x3 my >_> wady. ^.^ It UwU shaww 
^w^ advantage uWu thee ^.^ mowe than OwO evew x3 the :33 beawing of >_> wettew ^.^ did. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I xDD wiww OwO hewp xDD you to't. OwO But tell ;;w;; me ^-^ twue, OwO awe xDD you nyot ^-^ mad 
:33 indeed, ow UwU do xDD you >_> but counterfeit? 
:33 MAWVOWIO. :3 Bewieve uWu me, UwU I ^w^ am x3 nyot; UwU I tell uWu thee true. 
uWu CWOWN. Nyay, I'll ^w^ nye'ew ^-^ bewieve :3 a ÚwÚ madman >w< tiww UwU I >_> see :33 his ^w^ bwains. 
UwU I xDD wiww :3 fetch xDD you >w< wight ÚwÚ and paper ÚwÚ and ink. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Fool, I'll :3 wequite >w< it uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ highest degwee; UwU I xDD pwithe be 
;;w;; gonye. 
uWu CWOWN. [Singing] 
UwU I ^w^ am >w< gonye, ^w^ siw, 
xDD And ^-^ anyon, ^w^ siw, 
I'll be with xDD you OwO again, 
^w^ In :3 a twice, 
Wike to x3 the ;;w;; owd Vice, 
uWu Youw >_< nyeed to sustain; 

Who with ÚwÚ daggew of ;;w;; wath, 
^w^ In :33 his xDD wage ÚwÚ and :33 his :33 wwath, 
Cwies, xDD Ah, :33 ha! to x3 the deviw, 
Wike :3 a ^-^ mad lad, 
Pawe >w< thy nyaiws, x3 dad. 
:3 Adieu, ^.^ goodman deviw. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
OWIVIA'S >_< gawden 

Entew x3 SEBASTIAN 

:33 SEBASTIAN. This >_> is x3 the air; :3 that >_> is x3 the glorious sun; 
This uWu peaww ^.^ she uWu gave uWu me, UwU I UwU do feew't ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ see't; 
xDD And ^w^ though UwU 'tis wonder :3 that xDD enwwaps ;;w;; me thus, 
ÚwÚ Yet UwU 'tis nyot >w< madnyess. :3 Whewe's Antonio, ^w^ then? 
UwU I couwd nyot find ^.^ him uWu at x3 the >_< Ewephant; 
ÚwÚ Yet there ^.^ he OwO was; ÚwÚ and there UwU I >_> found ÚwÚ this ^.^ cwedit, 
:33 That ^.^ he uWu did ^-^ wange x3 the :33 town to >_> seek ;;w;; me OwO out. 
ÚwÚ His counsel nyow ^w^ might UwU do ;;w;; me golden ^w^ sewvice; 
For ^w^ though x3 my :3 souw ^w^ disputes weww with x3 my sense 
:33 That ÚwÚ this OwO may be x3 some error, >_> but nyo xDD madnyess, 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD doth ÚwÚ this :33 accident ÚwÚ and flood of :3 fowtunye 
^w^ So uWu faw xDD exceed aww uWu instance, aww discouwse, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am ready to distrust >_< minye eyes 
xDD And wrangle with x3 my weason, :3 that pewsuades ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To xDD any othew :33 twust >_> but :3 that UwU I ^w^ am mad, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse x3 the >_> wady's >w< mad; yet >_> if >w< 'twewe >_> so, 
:33 She couwd nyot xDD sway her house, ÚwÚ command her ÚwÚ fowwowews, 
^.^ Take ÚwÚ and UwU give back affairs ÚwÚ and uWu theiw dispatch 
With xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ smooth, x3 discweet, ÚwÚ and stable beawing, 
;;w;; As UwU I >_> pewceive ^.^ she does. >_> Thewe's ^-^ something OwO in't 
:33 That >_> is deceivable. OwO But OwO hewe x3 the uWu wady ^w^ comes. 

Entew OLIVIA ÚwÚ and PRIEST 

OLIVIA. >w< Bwame nyot ÚwÚ this ^.^ haste of ^w^ minye. ;;w;; If xDD you >_> mean weww, 
Now OwO go with ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and with ÚwÚ this >w< howy x3 man 
^.^ Into x3 the ^.^ chantwy ;;w;; by; thewe, >w< befowe ^.^ him 
xDD And undewnyeath :3 that OwO consecwated :33 woof, 
OwO Pwight ;;w;; me x3 the xDD fun assurance of x3 youw ^w^ faith, 
:33 That x3 my UwU most jealous ÚwÚ and ^w^ too ^.^ doubtfuw :3 souw 
^-^ May ^w^ wive uWu at peace. >w< He UwU shaww :33 conceaw >w< it 
Whiwes xDD you OwO awe ^.^ wiwwing >w< it UwU shaww come to :3 nyote, 
>_> What time ^.^ we xDD wiww UwU ouw cewebwation >_< keep 
x3 Accowding to x3 my xDD biwth. >_> What UwU do xDD you ^.^ say? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. I'll ;;w;; fowwow ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good ^w^ man, ÚwÚ and OwO go with uWu you; 
^.^ And, xDD having sworn truth, OwO evew xDD wiww be true. 
OLIVIA. UwU Then lead x3 the :3 way, ÚwÚ good father; ÚwÚ and heavens UwU so shine 
:33 That ;;w;; they OwO may ^.^ faiwwy ^-^ nyote ÚwÚ this ;;w;; act of mine! Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
^.^ Befowe ;;w;; OWIVIA's ;;w;; house 

Entew CWOWN ÚwÚ and xDD FABIAN 

x3 FABIAN. >_> Nyow, >_< as xDD thou >_> wov'st uWu me, wet ;;w;; me >_> see :33 his >_> wettew. 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Good >_< Mastew UwU Fabian, gwant ;;w;; me anyothew xDD wequest. 
x3 FABIAN. Anything. 
uWu CWOWN. Do nyot ^.^ desiwe to >_> see ÚwÚ this >_> wettew. 
x3 FABIAN. This >_> is to UwU give :3 a dog, ÚwÚ and uWu in recompense ^.^ desiwe x3 my dog 
;;w;; again. 

Entew ^w^ DUKE, VIOWA, CUWIO, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; WOWDS 

x3 DUKE. ^w^ Bewong xDD you to x3 the xDD Wady Owivia, friends? 
uWu CWOWN. Ay, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we OwO awe x3 some of her trappings. 
x3 DUKE. UwU I ^.^ knyow uWu thee well. How dost UwU thou, x3 my ÚwÚ good fewwow? 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Twuwy, ^w^ siw, x3 the xDD bettew fow x3 my ^-^ foes ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD wowse fow x3 my 
fwiends. 
x3 DUKE. ;;w;; Just x3 the ^-^ contwawy: x3 the xDD bettew fow >w< thy fwiends. 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Nyo, ^w^ siw, x3 the x3 wowse. 
x3 DUKE. How ^.^ can :3 that :3 be? 
uWu CWOWN. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, ;;w;; they praise ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and >_< make >w< an >w< ass of x3 me. Now x3 my 
^-^ foes tell ;;w;; me x3 pwainwy UwU I ^w^ am >w< an x3 ass; UwU so :3 that ^.^ by x3 my ;;w;; foes, ^w^ siw, UwU I 
pwofit uWu in x3 the >_< knyowwedge of myself, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 my ^w^ fwiends UwU I ^w^ am UwU abused; 
UwU so :3 that, conclusions to be >_< as OwO kisses, >_> if x3 youw fouw nyegatives >_< make 
x3 youw >w< two ^w^ affiwmatives, >w< why >w< then, x3 the xDD wowse fow x3 my OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and 
x3 the xDD bettew fow x3 my foes. 
x3 DUKE. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is excellent. 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ By x3 my troth, ^w^ siw, ^.^ nyo; ^w^ though >w< it uWu pwease xDD you to be one of x3 my 
fwiends. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Thou shalt nyot be x3 the xDD wowse fow x3 me. >_> Thewe's ;;w;; gowd. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO But :3 that >w< it ^.^ wouwd be double-dealing, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you couwd 
>_< make >w< it anyothew. 
x3 DUKE. >_< O, xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me :33 iww :3 counsew. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> Put x3 youw xDD gwace uWu in x3 youw pocket, ^w^ siw, fow ÚwÚ this ^w^ once, ÚwÚ and wet 
x3 youw >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and :3 bwood UwU obey :3 it. 
x3 DUKE. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww be UwU so much :3 a UwU sinnyew to be :3 a ^.^ doubwe-deawew. 
>_> Thewe's anyothew. 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Pwimo, uWu secundo, tertio, >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good play; ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; owd :3 saying 
>_> is 'The thiwd >w< pays fow :33 aww.' uWu The ÚwÚ twipwex, ^w^ siw, >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ good ;;w;; twipping 
>_< measuwe; ow x3 the UwU bewws of Saint ;;w;; Bennyet, ^w^ siw, OwO may put xDD you uWu in uWu mind- 
one, >_> two, thwee. 
x3 DUKE. >_> You ^.^ can >w< foow nyo ^.^ mowe monyey x3 out of ;;w;; me uWu at ÚwÚ this >_> thwow; >_> if xDD you 
xDD wiww wet x3 youw uWu wady ^.^ knyow UwU I ^w^ am OwO hewe to speak with hew, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bwing 
her :3 awong with UwU you, >w< it OwO may awake x3 my >_> bounty fuwthew. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, :3 wuwwaby to x3 youw >_> bounty >w< tiww UwU I come ;;w;; again. UwU I x3 go, 
siw; >_> but UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have xDD you to think :3 that x3 my ^.^ desiwe of xDD having 
>_> is x3 the x3 sin of UwU cuvtousnyess. But, >_< as xDD you say, ^w^ siw, wet x3 youw >_> bounty 
OwO take :3 a ^.^ nyap; UwU I xDD wiww awake >w< it x3 anyon. uWu Exit 

Entew ÚwÚ ANTONyIO ÚwÚ and OFFICEWS 

>_> VIOWA. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the ^w^ man, ^w^ siw, :3 that uWu did OwO wescue x3 me. 
x3 DUKE. :33 That OwO face of :33 his UwU I UwU do remember well; 
ÚwÚ Yet when UwU I saw >w< it >w< wast >w< it UwU was ;;w;; besmeaw'd 
;;w;; As black >_< as ;;w;; Vuwcan uWu in x3 the >_< smoke of waw. 
^-^ A ÚwÚ baubwing vessel UwU was ^.^ he UwU captain :33 of, 
For shallow ^w^ dwaught ÚwÚ and >_< buwk ^.^ unpwizabwe, 
With which xDD such scathfuw uWu gwappwe uWu did ^.^ he >_< make 
With x3 the UwU most x3 nyobwe :3 bottom of UwU ouw :33 fweet 
:33 That xDD vewy :3 envy ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> tongue of wos 
^.^ Cwied fame ÚwÚ and honour on ^.^ him. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
uWu FIWST :3 OFFICEW. Orsino, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 that Antonio 
:33 That >_> took x3 the Phoenix ÚwÚ and her ;;w;; fwaught from :3 Candy; 
xDD And ÚwÚ this >_> is ^.^ he :3 that uWu did x3 the :3 Tigew ÚwÚ boawd 
x3 When x3 youw xDD young nephew Titus wost :33 his ^-^ weg. 
:3 Hewe uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ stweets, despewate of ^-^ shame ÚwÚ and state, 
^w^ In >_> pwivate brabble uWu did ^.^ we >_< appwehend ^.^ him. 
>_> VIOWA. >w< He uWu did ;;w;; me kindnyess, siw; >w< dwew on x3 my x3 side; 
OwO But uWu in OwO concwusion put ;;w;; stwange ÚwÚ speech ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what uWu 'twas >_> but :3 distwaction. 
x3 DUKE. Nyotabwe ^.^ piwate, xDD thou ^-^ sawt-watew ;;w;; thief! 
>_> What >_< foowish boldness ^.^ bwought uWu thee to uWu theiw mercies 
;;w;; Whom UwU thou, uWu in terms UwU so bwoody ÚwÚ and UwU so deaw, 
Hast UwU made ^.^ thinye enyemies? 
>_> ANTONyIO. Orsino, x3 nyobwe ^w^ siw, 
^w^ Be pleas'd :3 that UwU I ;;w;; shake x3 off these nyames xDD you UwU give ;;w;; me: 
Antonio >_< nyevew yet UwU was UwU thief ow ^.^ piwate, 
;;w;; Though UwU I >_> confess, on UwU base ÚwÚ and x3 gwound UwU enyough, 
:33 Owsinyo's enemy. ^-^ A uWu witchcwaft >w< dwew ;;w;; me >_< hithew: 
:33 That UwU most UwU ingwatefuw ;;w;; boy there ^.^ by x3 youw x3 side 
Fwom x3 the wude x3 sea's ^-^ enwag'd ÚwÚ and OwO foamy xDD mouth 
Did UwU I ÚwÚ wedeem; :3 a wreck x3 past UwU hope ^.^ he uWu was. 
ÚwÚ His >w< wife UwU I uWu gave :3 him, ÚwÚ and uWu did thereto >_< ad 
OwO My wuv ^-^ without wetention ow ;;w;; westwaint, 
All :33 his uWu in :3 dedication; fow :33 his ^w^ sake, 
Did UwU I expose myself, puwe fow :33 his xDD wuv, 
^.^ Into x3 the danger of ÚwÚ this advewse xDD town; 
^.^ Dwew to ;;w;; defend ^.^ him when ^.^ he UwU was ^w^ beset; 
Whewe ^.^ being apprehended, :33 his UwU fawse ^w^ cunnying, 
ÚwÚ Nyot meaning to partake with ;;w;; me uWu in uWu dangew, 
>_< Taught ^.^ him to OwO face ;;w;; me x3 out of :33 his ÚwÚ acquaintance, 
xDD And ^-^ gwew :3 a ÚwÚ twenty years removed ^.^ thing 
While one ^.^ wouwd wink; >w< denyied ;;w;; me >_< minye UwU own puwse, 
>_< Which UwU I xDD had recommended to :33 his use 
ÚwÚ Nyot half >w< an >_> houw befowe. 
>_> VIOWA. How ^.^ can ÚwÚ this :3 be? 
x3 DUKE. x3 When ^-^ came ^.^ he to ÚwÚ this >_< town? 
>_> ANTONyIO. uWu To-day, x3 my wowd; ÚwÚ and fow >w< thwee ^w^ months x3 befowe, 
No int'wim, nyot :3 a minyute's ^-^ vacancy, 
UwU Both day ÚwÚ and >w< nyight uWu did ^.^ we >_< keep UwU company. 

Entew OLIVIA ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

x3 DUKE. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the ;;w;; Countess; nyow heaven >w< wawks on ;;w;; eawth. 
OwO But fow ÚwÚ thee, UwU fewwow- fewwow, >w< thy wowds OwO awe >w< madnyess. 
Thwee ^w^ months ÚwÚ this :33 youth hath tended ;;w;; upon me- 
OwO But ^.^ mowe of :3 that x3 anyon. ^.^ Take ^.^ him xDD aside. 
OLIVIA. >_> What ^.^ wouwd x3 my uWu wowd, >_> but :3 that ^.^ he OwO may nyot have, 
^-^ Whewein >_> Owivia OwO may xDD seem >_> sewviceabwe? 
;;w;; Cesawio, xDD you UwU do nyot >_< keep promise with x3 me. 
>_> VIOWA. ;;w;; Madam? 
x3 DUKE. Gracious Olivia- 
OLIVIA. >_> What UwU do xDD you say, ÚwÚ Cesawio? ^-^ Good x3 my wowd- 
>_> VIOWA. OwO My ;;w;; wowd ^.^ wouwd speak; x3 my >_> duty >_> hushes x3 me. 
OLIVIA. ;;w;; If >w< it be ^.^ aught to x3 the ;;w;; owd ÚwÚ tunye, x3 my uWu wowd, 
^.^ It >_> is >_< as :33 fat ÚwÚ and fulsome to >_< minye ear 
;;w;; As xDD howwing ÚwÚ aftew >_> music. 
x3 DUKE. UwU Stiww UwU so cruel? 
OLIVIA. UwU Stiww UwU so constant, OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. What, to perverseness? >_> You UwU unciviw UwU wady, 
;;w;; To x3 whose xDD ingwate ÚwÚ and unyauspicious UwU awtaws 
OwO My :3 souw x3 the >_> faithfuww'st off'rings hath >w< bweath'd x3 out 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew xDD devotion tender'd! >_> What UwU shaww UwU I ^-^ do? 
OLIVIA. Even >_> what >w< it uWu pwease x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that UwU shaww :33 become ^.^ him. 
x3 DUKE. Why >_> shouwd UwU I >_> nyot, xDD had UwU I x3 the >_< heawt to UwU do :33 it, 
Wike to x3 the >_< Egyptian UwU thief uWu at :33 point of UwU death, 
ÚwÚ Kiww >_> what UwU I ÚwÚ wuv?- :3 a x3 savage ^.^ jeawousy 
:33 That ÚwÚ sometime UwU savouws nyobwy. OwO But hear ;;w;; me :33 this: 
Since xDD you to nyon-wegawdance ;;w;; cast x3 my ^w^ faith, 
xDD And :3 that UwU I ;;w;; pawtwy ^.^ knyow x3 the UwU instwument 
:33 That UwU scwews ;;w;; me from x3 my true :33 pwace uWu in x3 youw favour, 
Wive xDD you x3 the marble-breasted tyrant stiww; 
OwO But ÚwÚ this x3 youw ÚwÚ minyion, ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you xDD wuv, 
xDD And :33 whom, ^.^ by heaven UwU I x3 sweaw, UwU I xDD tendew ^-^ deawwy, 
xDD Him xDD wiww UwU I teaw x3 out of :3 that UwU cwuew ^w^ eye 
Whewe ^.^ he >_> sits ^.^ cwownyed uWu in :33 his xDD mastew's spite. 
^.^ Come, ^-^ boy, with OwO me; x3 my >_< thoughts OwO awe ripe uWu in mischief: 
I'll sacrifice x3 the :3 wamb :3 that UwU I UwU do wuv 
;;w;; To x3 spite :3 a raven's >_< heawt within :3 a duv. 
>_> VIOWA. xDD And I, UwU most xDD jocund, :3 apt, ÚwÚ and :3 wiwwingwy, 
;;w;; To UwU do xDD you ^-^ west, :3 a thousand >w< deaths ^.^ wouwd die. 
OLIVIA. Whewe xDD goes ÚwÚ Cesawio? 
>_> VIOWA. >w< Aftew ^.^ him UwU I wuv 
uWu Mowe than UwU I wuv these ^w^ eyes, ^.^ mowe than x3 my :3 wife, 
:33 Mowe, ^.^ by aww UwU mowes, than ;;w;; e'ew UwU I UwU shaww wuv x3 wife. 
;;w;; If UwU I UwU do ^w^ feign, xDD you :3 witnyesses :33 abuv 
>_> Punyish x3 my >w< wife fow ;;w;; tainting of x3 my love! 
OLIVIA. uWu Ay uWu me, detested! How ^w^ am UwU I beguiw'd! 
>_> VIOWA. Who does beguile you? Who does UwU do xDD you ÚwÚ wwong? 
OLIVIA. Hast xDD thou fowgot thyself? Is >w< it UwU so long? 
;;w;; Caww fowth x3 the >w< howy :33 fathew. uWu Exit >w< an uWu ATTENDANT 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Come, away! 
OLIVIA. Whithew, x3 my xDD wowd? ;;w;; Cesawio, ^.^ husband, >_< stay. 
x3 DUKE. >w< Husband? 
OLIVIA. Ay, xDD husband; ^.^ can ^.^ he :3 that deny? 
x3 DUKE. :3 Hew ^.^ husband, ÚwÚ siwwah? 
>_> VIOWA. :3 Nyo, x3 my uWu wowd, nyot ^.^ I. 
OLIVIA. ÚwÚ Awas, >w< it >_> is x3 the baseness of >w< thy feaw 
:33 That x3 makes uWu thee strangle >w< thy >w< pwopwiety. 
Fear >_> nyot, ;;w;; Cesawio, OwO take >w< thy fowtunyes xDD up; 
^w^ Be :3 that xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st xDD thou awt, ÚwÚ and xDD then xDD thou awt 
;;w;; As great >_< as :3 that xDD thou ÚwÚ feaw'st. 

Entew PRIEST 

>_< O, ;;w;; wewcome, ;;w;; fathew! 
:3 Fathew, UwU I :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ by >w< thy xDD wevewence, 
:3 Hewe to unfowd- ^w^ though :3 watewy ^.^ we :3 intended 
;;w;; To >_< keep uWu in >w< dawknyess >_> what ;;w;; occasion nyow 
ÚwÚ Weveaws >w< befowe UwU 'tis ^.^ wipe- >_> what xDD thou dost ^.^ knyow 
>_< Hath x3 nyewwy :33 pass'd ^-^ between ÚwÚ this :33 youth ÚwÚ and x3 me. 
>_> PWIEST. ^-^ A ÚwÚ contwact of xDD etewnyaw :3 bond of xDD wuv, 
>_> Confiwm'd ^.^ by ^-^ mutuaw joinder of x3 youw ^.^ hands, 
OwO Attested ^.^ by x3 the >w< howy ^-^ cwose of :3 wips, 
Stwength'nyed ^.^ by intewchangement of x3 youw rings; 
xDD And aww x3 the ceremony of ÚwÚ this compact 
Seaw'd uWu in x3 my UwU function, ^.^ by x3 my uWu testimony; 
Since xDD when, x3 my ;;w;; watch hath told uWu me, toward x3 my ^-^ gwave, 
UwU I uWu have ^w^ twaveww'd >_> but >w< two hours. 
x3 DUKE. x3 O xDD thou dissembling >_> cub! >_> What wiwt xDD thou be, 
x3 When time hath uWu sow'd :3 a grizzle on >w< thy x3 case? 
:33 Ow xDD wiww nyot >_> ewse >w< thy cwaft UwU so quickly gwow 
:33 That ^.^ thinye UwU own uWu twip UwU shaww be ^.^ thinye :3 uvwthwow? 
UwU Faweweww, ÚwÚ and OwO take >w< hew; >_> but direct >w< thy ;;w;; feet 
Whewe xDD thou ÚwÚ and UwU I henceforth OwO may >_< nyevew ^.^ meet. 
>_> VIOWA. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I UwU do protest- 
OLIVIA. >_< O, UwU do nyot sweaw! 
:33 Howd xDD wittwe ^w^ faith, ^w^ though xDD thou >_> has ^w^ too much ;;w;; feaw. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW ANDWEW 

;;w;; AGUECHEEK. For x3 the wuv of :33 God, :3 a >_> suwgeon! 
>_< Send one presently to Sir :3 Toby. 
OLIVIA. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. x3 Has broke x3 my >_> head ^-^ acwoss, ÚwÚ and >_> has UwU given Sir Toby :3 a 
bwoody coxcomb UwU too. For x3 the wuv of :33 God, x3 youw :33 hewp! UwU I xDD had rather 
than >w< fowty ;;w;; pound UwU I :3 wewe uWu at >_> home. 
OLIVIA. Who >_> has donye uWu this, Sir ^w^ Andwew? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. uWu The OwO Count's gentweman, one xDD Cesawio. We >_> took ^.^ him fow :3 a 
xDD cowawd, >_> but uWu he's x3 the xDD vewy ^.^ deviw ^.^ incawdinyate. 
x3 DUKE. OwO My gentweman, ÚwÚ Cesawio? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. x3 Od's >w< wifewings, OwO hewe ^.^ he x3 is! >_> You broke x3 my >_> head fow 
uWu nyothing; ÚwÚ and :3 that :3 that ^-^ did, UwU I UwU was uWu set on to do't ^.^ by Sir :3 Toby. 
>_> VIOWA. Why UwU do xDD you speak to me? UwU I >_< nyevew ÚwÚ huwt OwO you. 
>_> You >w< dwew x3 youw xDD swowd ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me ^-^ without cause; 
OwO But UwU I UwU bespake xDD you >w< faiw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ huwt xDD you not. 

Entew ÚwÚ SIW TOBY ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

;;w;; AGUECHEEK. ;;w;; If :3 a bwoody coxcomb be :3 a hurt, xDD you uWu have ÚwÚ huwt OwO me; UwU I think 
xDD you uWu set >_< nyothing ^.^ by :3 a bwoody ^.^ coxcomb. :3 Hewe x3 comes Sir Toby hawting; 
xDD you UwU shaww hear mowe; >_> but >_> if ^.^ he xDD had nyot :33 been uWu in dwink, ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd 
uWu have ^w^ tickw'd xDD you othergates than ^.^ he ^.^ did. 
x3 DUKE. How now, gentleman? How :3 is't with you? 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. >w< That's aww onye; >_> has ÚwÚ huwt uWu me, ÚwÚ and there's x3 th' >w< end ^.^ on't. 
Sot, :33 didst >_> see UwU Dick :3 Suwgeon, >_> sot? 
uWu CWOWN. >_< O, uWu he's dwunk, Sir Toby, >w< an >_> houw agonye; :33 his eyes :3 wewe uWu set uWu at 
eight :33 i' x3 th' xDD mownying. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. UwU Then uWu he's :3 a ;;w;; wogue ÚwÚ and :3 a :3 passy ^-^ measuwes uWu pavin. UwU I ^-^ hate :3 a 
^w^ dwunken wogue. 
OLIVIA. UwU Away with ^.^ him. Who hath UwU made ÚwÚ this havoc with them? 
;;w;; AGUECHEEK. I'll OwO hewp UwU you, Sir Toby, uWu because we'll be dwess'd 
together. 
ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY. Will xDD you help- >w< an ass-head ÚwÚ and :3 a coxcomb ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ knyave, :3 a 
>_< thin fac'd ^-^ knyave, :3 a guww? 
OLIVIA. >_< Get ^.^ him to ^.^ bed, ÚwÚ and wet :33 his ÚwÚ huwt be >_> wook'd ;;w;; to. 
Exeunt CLOWN, FABIAN, ÚwÚ SIW >_< TOBY, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ SIW ANDWEW 

Entew x3 SEBASTIAN 

:33 SEBASTIAN. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy, UwU madam, UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ huwt x3 youw kinsman; 
But, xDD had >w< it :33 been x3 the ÚwÚ bwothew of x3 my bwood, 
UwU I ^w^ must uWu have donye nyo less with wit ÚwÚ and >w< safety. 
>_> You ^-^ thwow :3 a ;;w;; stwange regard ;;w;; upon uWu me, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by :3 that 
UwU I UwU do >_> pewceive >w< it hath uWu offended OwO you. 
^w^ Pawdon uWu me, x3 sweet one, even fow x3 the x3 vows 
We UwU made >_< each othew >_> but UwU so wate ago. 
x3 DUKE. x3 Onye >w< face, one voice, one habit, ÚwÚ and >w< two ^-^ pewsons! 
^-^ A natural ^-^ pewspective, :3 that >_> is ÚwÚ and >_> is not. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Antonio, x3 O x3 my uWu deaw Antonio! 
How uWu have x3 the >_> houws wack'd ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ towtuw'd ;;w;; me 
Since UwU I uWu have wost uWu thee! 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU Sebastian OwO awe you? 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Feaw'st xDD thou :3 that, Antonyio? 
>_> ANTONyIO. How uWu have xDD you UwU made OwO division of >w< youwsewf? 
^-^ An apple uWu cweft uWu in >w< two >_> is nyot ^.^ mowe ^-^ twin 
Than these >w< two >w< cweatuwes. >_< Which >_> is Sebastian? 
OLIVIA. :3 Most OwO wondewfuw! 
:33 SEBASTIAN. Do UwU I stand OwO thewe? UwU I >_< nyevew xDD had :3 a bwothew; 
x3 Nyow ^.^ can there be :3 that deity uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
Of OwO hewe ÚwÚ and :3 evewywhewe. UwU I xDD had :3 a :3 sistew 
;;w;; Whom x3 the ^w^ bwind ;;w;; waves ÚwÚ and suwges uWu have devour'd. 
Of chawity, >_> what ^-^ kin OwO awe xDD you to me? 
>_> What countwyman, >_> what :33 nyame, >_> what pawentage? 
>_> VIOWA. Of ^w^ Messawinye; UwU Sebastian UwU was x3 my :33 fathew. 
>w< Such :3 a UwU Sebastian UwU was x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew :3 too; 
^w^ So OwO went ^.^ he ^-^ suited to :33 his :3 watewy UwU tomb; 
;;w;; If ;;w;; spiwits ^.^ can assume both >_< fowm ÚwÚ and ^.^ suit, 
>_> You come to :33 fwight >_> us. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. ^-^ A ^w^ spiwit UwU I ^w^ am :33 indeed, 
OwO But ^w^ am uWu in :3 that UwU dimension grossly cwad 
>_< Which from x3 the womb UwU I uWu did ;;w;; pawticipate. 
^.^ Wewe xDD you :3 a ^w^ woman, >_< as x3 the xDD west xDD goes ÚwÚ even, 
UwU I >_> shouwd x3 my tears wet faww ;;w;; upon x3 youw OwO cheek, 
xDD And >_> say >_> 'Thwice ;;w;; wewcome, drowned Viola!' 
>_> VIOWA. OwO My >w< fathew xDD had :3 a ^.^ mowe ;;w;; upon :33 his >_> bwow. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. xDD And UwU so xDD had ^w^ minye. 
>_> VIOWA. xDD And >w< died :3 that day when Viola from her birth 
xDD Had UwU nyumb'wed thirteen years. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. >_< O, :3 that xDD wecowd >_> is lively uWu in x3 my souw! 
>w< He finyished ÚwÚ indeed :33 his >w< mowtaw ;;w;; act 
:33 That day :3 that UwU made x3 my :3 sistew thirteen years. 
>_> VIOWA. ;;w;; If >_< nyothing wets to >_< make >_> us ^w^ happy both 
OwO But ÚwÚ this x3 my mascuwinye usuwp'd xDD attiwe, 
Do nyot >_< embwace ;;w;; me >w< tiww >_< each circumstance 
Of pwace, time, fowtunye, UwU do ;;w;; cohewe ÚwÚ and x3 jump 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am UwU Viowa; which to xDD confiwm, 
I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you to :3 a UwU captain uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD town, 
Whewe >_< wie x3 my >_< maiden ^w^ weeds; ^.^ by x3 whose ^-^ gentwe OwO hewp 
UwU I UwU was preserv'd to serve ÚwÚ this x3 nyobwe xDD Count. 
All x3 the occuwwence of x3 my :3 fowtunye xDD since 
>_< Hath :33 been ^-^ between ÚwÚ this uWu wady ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this OwO wowd. 
:33 SEBASTIAN. :33 [To ;;w;; OWIVIA] ^w^ So UwU Comes :33 it, UwU wady, xDD you uWu have :33 been uWu mistook; 
OwO But ÚwÚ nyatuwe to her :3 bias >w< dwew uWu in x3 that. 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 been >_< contwacted to :3 a >_> maid; 
x3 Nyow OwO awe xDD you >_< thewein, ^.^ by x3 my :3 wife, :3 deceiv'd; 
>_> You OwO awe ^w^ betwoth'd both to :3 a >_< maid ÚwÚ and man. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Be nyot ^-^ amaz'd; >w< wight x3 nyobwe >_> is :33 his blood. 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be >_> so, >_< as yet x3 the gwass ;;w;; seems ^-^ twue, 
UwU I UwU shaww uWu have share uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU most ^w^ happy >_< wweck. 
:33 [To >w< VIOWA] :33 Boy, xDD thou x3 hast uWu said to ;;w;; me :3 a thousand times 
^.^ Thou >_< nyevew shouwdst wuv OwO woman ^.^ wike to x3 me. 
>_> VIOWA. xDD And aww UwU those UwU sayings xDD wiww UwU I ^w^ uvwsweaw; 
xDD And aww UwU those swearings >_< keep >_< as true uWu in :3 souw 
;;w;; As xDD doth :3 that owbed continyent x3 the fire 
:33 That severs day from OwO nyight. 
x3 DUKE. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy xDD hand; 
xDD And wet ;;w;; me >_> see uWu thee uWu in >w< thy xDD woman's weeds. 
>_> VIOWA. uWu The UwU captain :3 that uWu did ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me xDD fiwst on >w< showe 
>_< Hath x3 my maid's x3 gawments. ^-^ He, ;;w;; upon x3 some xDD action, 
Is nyow uWu in ^w^ duwance, uWu at ;;w;; Mawvowio's ^.^ suit, 
^-^ A ÚwÚ gentweman ÚwÚ and follower of x3 my ;;w;; wady's. 
OLIVIA. >w< He UwU shaww >_< enwawge ^.^ him. ^-^ Fetch Mawvowio hithew; 
xDD And ^w^ yet, :3 awas, nyow UwU I remember uWu me, 
^-^ They say, poor gentweman, uWu he's much x3 distwact. 

^.^ We-entew CLOWN, with :3 a letter, ÚwÚ and xDD FABIAN 

^-^ A UwU most >_> extwacting fwenzy of >_< minye UwU own 
Fwom x3 my wemembwance cweawwy banyish'd ÚwÚ his. 
How does xDD he, ÚwÚ siwwah? 
uWu CWOWN. ^-^ Twuwy, UwU madam, ^.^ he ÚwÚ howds Belzebub uWu at x3 the ÚwÚ stave's >w< end >_< as weww 
>_< as :3 a x3 man uWu in :33 his case OwO may xDD do. x3 Has OwO hewe ^-^ wwit :3 a >_> wettew to uWu you; UwU I 
>_> shouwd uWu have UwU given 't xDD you ^w^ to-day UwU mownying, >_> but >_< as :3 a madman's 
epistwes OwO awe nyo xDD gospews, UwU so >w< it skiwws nyot much when ;;w;; they OwO awe 
:33 dewivew'd. 
OLIVIA. Open't, ÚwÚ and ^w^ wead :3 it. 
uWu CWOWN. Wook xDD then to be weww edified when x3 the >w< foow xDD dewivews x3 the 
>_> madman. x3 [Weads madly xDD ] >_< 'By x3 the Wowd, ^w^ madam-' 
OLIVIA. How >_< nyow! Awt xDD thou uWu mad? 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Nyo, UwU madam, UwU I UwU do >_> but ^w^ wead >w< madnyess. ^-^ An x3 youw >w< wadyship xDD wiww uWu have 
>w< it >_< as >w< it ought to be, xDD you ^w^ must UwU awwow vox. 
OLIVIA. UwU Pwithee ^w^ wead :33 i' >w< thy >w< wight wits. 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ So UwU I UwU do, madonna; >_> but to ^w^ wead :33 his >w< wight :33 wits >_> is to ^w^ wead 
^.^ thus; >_< thewefowe perpend, x3 my xDD Pwincess, ÚwÚ and UwU give :3 eaw. 
OLIVIA. :33 [To ÚwÚ FABIAN] xDD Wead >w< it UwU you, sirrah. 
x3 FABIAN. [Weads] >_< 'By x3 the Wowd, UwU madam, xDD you wrong uWu me, ÚwÚ and x3 the wowwd 
UwU shaww ^.^ knyow :3 it. ;;w;; Though xDD you uWu have put ;;w;; me x3 into >w< dawknyess ÚwÚ and UwU given 
x3 youw ^w^ dwunken xDD cousin UwU wuwe uvw uWu me, yet uWu have UwU I x3 the ^-^ benyefit of x3 my 
:33 senses >_< as weww >_< as x3 youw ladyship. UwU I uWu have x3 youw UwU own >_> wettew :3 that 
>_< induced ;;w;; me to x3 the ÚwÚ sembwance UwU I put ;;w;; on, with x3 the which UwU I doubt nyot 
>_> but to UwU do mysewf much >w< wight ow xDD you much ;;w;; shame. ^w^ Think of ;;w;; me >_< as xDD you 
ÚwÚ pwease. UwU I OwO weave x3 my >_> duty :3 a xDD wittwe ^w^ unthought :33 of, ÚwÚ and speak x3 out of 
x3 my >w< injuwy. 
^-^ THE MADLY-US'D ;;w;; MAWVOWIO' 

OLIVIA. Did ^.^ he >w< wwite :3 this? 
uWu CWOWN. Ay, Madam. 
x3 DUKE. This UwU savouws nyot much of :3 distwaction. 
OLIVIA. xDD See ^.^ him UwU dewivew'd, uWu Fabian; ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him hithew. 
uWu Exit xDD FABIAN 
OwO My uWu wowd, UwU so uWu pwease UwU you, these ^.^ things further xDD thought ;;w;; on, 
;;w;; To think ;;w;; me >_< as weww :3 a :3 sistew >_< as :3 a :3 wife, 
x3 Onye day UwU shaww >_< cwown x3 th' alliance on't, UwU so uWu pwease UwU you, 
:3 Hewe uWu at x3 my house, ÚwÚ and uWu at x3 my OwO pwopew OwO cost. 
x3 DUKE. uWu Madam, UwU I ^w^ am UwU most ^-^ apt t' >_< embwace x3 youw UwU offew. 
:33 [To >w< VIOWA] uWu Youw >_< mastew quits uWu you; x3 and, fow x3 youw OwO sewvice donye 
:3 him, 
^w^ So much OwO against x3 the mettle of x3 youw ;;w;; sex, 
^w^ So uWu faw >_< benyeath x3 youw soft ÚwÚ and xDD tendew uWu bweeding, 
xDD And xDD since xDD you ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me >_< mastew fow UwU so long, 
:3 Hewe >_> is x3 my xDD hand; xDD you UwU shaww from ÚwÚ this time be 
>_> You xDD mastew's ^w^ mistwess. 
OLIVIA. ^-^ A sistew! >_> You OwO awe ^w^ she. 

^.^ We-entew FABIAN, with x3 MAWVOWIO 

x3 DUKE. Is ÚwÚ this x3 the xDD madman? 
OLIVIA. Ay, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ this :33 same. 
How now, OwO Mawvowio! 
:33 MAWVOWIO. uWu Madam, xDD you uWu have donye ;;w;; me wwong, 
Nyotowious wrong. 
OLIVIA. :3 Have I, >_> Mawvowio? No. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. Lady, xDD you :3 have. >_> Pway xDD you OwO pewuse :3 that >_> wettew. 
>_> You ^w^ must nyot nyow UwU deny >w< it >_> is x3 youw xDD hand; 
:3 Wwite from >w< it >_> if xDD you ^-^ can, uWu in uWu hand ow ÚwÚ phwase; 
:33 Ow >_> say UwU 'tis nyot x3 youw ÚwÚ seaw, nyot x3 youw ^w^ invention; 
>_> You ^.^ can >_> say >_< nyonye of UwU this. xDD Weww, gwant >w< it >w< then, 
xDD And tell uWu me, uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ modesty of honyouw, 
Why xDD you uWu have UwU given ;;w;; me xDD such ^-^ cweaw wights of favour, 
^-^ Bade ;;w;; me come x3 smiwing ÚwÚ and cross-garter'd to UwU you, 
;;w;; To put on >w< yewwow stockings, ÚwÚ and to fwown 
>_> Upon Sir Toby ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 wightew xDD peopwe; 
^.^ And, >w< acting ÚwÚ this uWu in >w< an obedient hope, 
Why uWu have xDD you ^w^ suffew'd ;;w;; me to be >_< impwison'd, 
^w^ Kept uWu in :3 a dark house, OwO visited ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; pwiest, 
xDD And UwU made x3 the UwU most :3 nyotowious uWu geck ÚwÚ and guw 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew >w< invention pway'd ^-^ on? Teww ;;w;; me :33 why. 
OLIVIA. ÚwÚ Awas, Malvolio, ÚwÚ this >_> is nyot x3 my writing, 
uWu Though, UwU I >_> confess, much ^.^ wike x3 the uWu chawactew; 
OwO But x3 out of ;;w;; question UwU 'tis uWu Mawia's >w< hand. 
xDD And nyow UwU I UwU do ^.^ bethink uWu me, >w< it UwU was ^.^ she 
First told ;;w;; me xDD thou >w< wast >w< mad; xDD then xDD cam'st uWu in :3 smiwing, 
xDD And uWu in xDD such uWu fowms which OwO hewe :3 wewe presuppos'd 
>_> Upon uWu thee uWu in x3 the >_> wettew. Prithee, be content; 
This pwactice hath UwU most >w< shwewdwy :33 pass'd ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ thee, 
But, when ^.^ we ^.^ knyow x3 the grounds ÚwÚ and authors of :33 it, 
^.^ Thou shalt be both x3 the pwaintiff ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO judge 
Of ^.^ thinye UwU own OwO cause. 
x3 FABIAN. ^-^ Good UwU madam, hear ;;w;; me :3 speak, 
xDD And wet nyo ^-^ quawwew nor nyo uWu bwaww to come 
:3 Taint x3 the condition of ÚwÚ this xDD pwesent ^-^ houw, 
>_< Which UwU I uWu have x3 wond'wed at. ^w^ In UwU hope >w< it UwU shaww >_> nyot, 
:3 Most freely UwU I x3 confess mysewf ÚwÚ and Toby 
Set ÚwÚ this xDD device OwO against Mawvowio UwU hewe, 
>_> Upon x3 some ^-^ stubbown ÚwÚ and :3 uncouwteous parts 
We xDD had conceiv'd OwO against ^.^ him. Mawia ^-^ wwit 
uWu The letter, uWu at Sir Toby's great ^.^ impowtance, 
^w^ In recompense xDD wheweof ^.^ he hath mawwied her. 
How with :3 a :33 spowtfuw malice >w< it UwU was follow'd 
^-^ May rather pluck on :33 waughtew than UwU wevenge, 
;;w;; If :3 that x3 the x3 injuwies be >_< justwy x3 weigh'd 
:33 That uWu have on both >w< sides xDD pass'd. 
OLIVIA. ÚwÚ Awas, poor x3 foow, >w< how uWu have ;;w;; they uWu baffw'd uWu thee! 
uWu CWOWN. Why, xDD 'Some OwO awe bown ^.^ gweat, x3 some ;;w;; achieve greatness, ÚwÚ and x3 some 
uWu have :33 gweatnyess :33 thwown ;;w;; upon xDD them.' UwU I UwU was one, ^w^ siw, uWu in ÚwÚ this 
intewwude- one Sir uWu Topas, siw; >_> but ^w^ that's aww onye. >_< 'By x3 the Wowd, 
x3 foow, UwU I ^w^ am nyot UwU mad!' OwO But UwU do xDD you :3 wemembew- ^-^ 'Madam, >w< why laugh xDD you 
uWu at xDD such :3 a ^-^ bawwen :3 wascaw? ^-^ An xDD you ;;w;; smiwe >_> nyot, uWu he's gagg'd'? xDD And OwO thus 
x3 the UwU whiwwigig of time >_< bwings uWu in :33 his revenges. 
:33 MAWVOWIO. I'll be ^w^ weveng'd on x3 the whole OwO pack of OwO you. 
uWu Exit 
OLIVIA. >w< He hath :33 been UwU most notoriously x3 abus'd. 
x3 DUKE. :33 Puwsue :3 him, ÚwÚ and entweat ^.^ him to :3 a :3 peace; 
>w< He hath nyot told >_> us of x3 the UwU captain >_> yet. 
x3 When :3 that >_> is ^-^ knyown, ÚwÚ and golden time x3 convents, 
^-^ A solemn >w< combinyation UwU shaww be UwU made 
Of UwU ouw uWu deaw souws. UwU Meantime, x3 sweet ^-^ sistew, 
We xDD wiww nyot ÚwÚ pawt from x3 hence. ;;w;; Cesawio, >_< come; 
For UwU so xDD you UwU shaww be OwO whiwe xDD you OwO awe :3 a xDD man; 
OwO But when uWu in othew :3 habits xDD you OwO awe uWu seen, 
:33 Owsinyo's ^-^ mistwess, ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ fancy's >w< queen. 
Exeunt aww >_> but x3 the CWOWN 

CWOWN ^-^ sings 

x3 When :3 that UwU I UwU was ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD wittwe >w< tiny ^-^ boy, 
With ^w^ hey, :3 ho, x3 the wind ÚwÚ and x3 the rain, 
^-^ A >_< foowish ^.^ thing UwU was >_> but :3 a ^-^ toy, 
For x3 the xDD wain >w< it ÚwÚ wainyeth every x3 day. 

OwO But when UwU I ^-^ came to :33 man's x3 estate, 
With ^w^ hey, :3 ho, x3 the wind ÚwÚ and x3 the rain, 
^w^ 'Gainst knyaves ÚwÚ and thieves ;;w;; men shut uWu theiw >_< gate, 
For x3 the xDD wain >w< it ÚwÚ wainyeth every x3 day. 

OwO But when UwU I came, ^.^ awas! to x3 wive, 
With ^w^ hey, :3 ho, x3 the wind ÚwÚ and x3 the rain, 
^-^ By :3 swaggewing couwd UwU I >_< nyevew thwive, 
For x3 the xDD wain >w< it ÚwÚ wainyeth every x3 day. 

OwO But when UwU I ^-^ came >w< unto x3 my :3 beds, 
With ^w^ hey, :3 ho, x3 the wind ÚwÚ and x3 the rain, 
With toss-pots still xDD had ^w^ dwunken >_< heads, 
For x3 the xDD wain >w< it ÚwÚ wainyeth every x3 day. 

^-^ A great OwO whiwe ^w^ ago x3 the wowwd begun, 
With ^w^ hey, :3 ho, x3 the wind ÚwÚ and x3 the rain, 
OwO But ^w^ that's aww one, UwU ouw :33 pway >_> is :33 donye, 
xDD And we'll strive to uWu pwease xDD you every x3 day. 
uWu Exit 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



;;w;; 1595 

^-^ THE OwO TWO ^-^ GENTWEMEN ÚwÚ OF ^.^ VEWONyA 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ OF MILAN, >w< fathew to >_> Siwvia 
ÚwÚ VAWENTINyE, one of x3 the >w< two gentlemen 
ÚwÚ PWOTEUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " :33 " 
uWu ANTONyIO, >w< fathew to >_< Pwoteus 
xDD THUWIO, :3 a >_< foowish wivaw to Valentine 
^-^ EGWAMOUW, agent fow >_> Siwvia uWu in her escape 
SPEED, :3 a ^.^ cwownyish xDD sewvant to Valentine 
>w< WAUNCE, x3 the ^.^ wike to >_< Pwoteus 
uWu PANTHINyO, xDD sewvant to Antonio 
x3 HOST, :3 whewe xDD Juwia ^.^ wodges uWu in Milan 
OUTLAWS, with Valentine 

:33 JUWIA, :3 a uWu wady of Verona, beloved of >_< Pwoteus 
SILVIA, x3 the Duke's ^w^ daughtew, beloved of Valentine 
WUCETTA, waiting-woman to xDD Juwia 

^-^ SEWVANTS 
MUSICIANS 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



SCENE: 
Vewonya; :3 Miwan; x3 the fwontiews of >_< Mantua 


^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Verona. ^-^ An open :33 pwace 

Entew ;;w;; VAWENTINyE ÚwÚ and x3 PWOTEUS 

VALENTINE. ^.^ Cease to ;;w;; pewsuade, x3 my >w< woving >_< Pwoteus: 
;;w;; Home-keeping :33 youth uWu have OwO evew homewy wits. 
^w^ Wewe't nyot :3 affection >_> chains >w< thy xDD tendew OwO days 
;;w;; To x3 the x3 sweet >_> gwances of >w< thy :3 honyouw'd xDD wuv, 
UwU I rather ^.^ wouwd entweat >w< thy >_< company 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 the wondews of x3 the wowwd >_> abwoad, 
>_< Than, UwU wiving :3 duwwy uWu swuggawdiz'd uWu at ^.^ home, 
:3 Weaw x3 out >w< thy :33 youth with shapeless >_< idwenyess. 
OwO But xDD since xDD thou ^-^ wov'st, wuv still, ÚwÚ and x3 thwive >_< thewein, 
Even >_< as UwU I :3 wouwd, when UwU I to wuv ;;w;; begin. 
PROTEUS. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou be gone? ÚwÚ Sweet Valentine, ^w^ adieu! 
^w^ Think on >w< thy Pwoteus, when xDD thou haply seest 
;;w;; Some OwO wawe :3 nyotewowthy :33 object uWu in >w< thy uWu twavew. 
^-^ Wish ;;w;; me partaker uWu in >w< thy happinyess 
x3 When xDD thou dost :3 meet ÚwÚ good UwU hap; ÚwÚ and uWu in >w< thy uWu dangew, 
;;w;; If OwO evew danger UwU do enviwon ÚwÚ thee, 
>_< Commend >w< thy gwievance to x3 my >w< howy pwayews, 
For UwU I xDD wiww be >w< thy ^w^ headsman, x3 Vawentinye. 
VALENTINE. xDD And on :3 a ^w^ wuv-book pray fow x3 my xDD success? 
PROTEUS. >_> Upon x3 some ^w^ book UwU I wuv I'll pray fow thee. 
VALENTINE. >w< That's on x3 some shallow ^-^ stowy of >_> deep love: 
How xDD young :33 Weandew cwoss'd x3 the Hellespont. 
PROTEUS. >w< That's :3 a >_> deep ^-^ stowy of :3 a deeper love; 
For ^.^ he UwU was ^.^ mowe than uvw xDD shoes uWu in love. 
VALENTINE. 'Tis true; fow xDD you OwO awe uvw ÚwÚ boots uWu in xDD wuv, 
xDD And yet xDD you >_< nyevew :3 swum x3 the Hellespont. 
PROTEUS. Over x3 the >w< boots! Nyay, UwU give ;;w;; me nyot x3 the uWu boots. 
VALENTINE. :3 Nyo, UwU I xDD wiww >_> nyot, fow >w< it ÚwÚ boots uWu thee not. 
PROTEUS. What? 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; To be uWu in ;;w;; wuv- :3 whewe ^w^ scown >_> is xDD bought with :33 gwoans, 
:3 Coy :33 wooks with heawt-sowe xDD sighs, one >_> fading UwU moment's >_< miwth 
With ÚwÚ twenty watchful, OwO weawy, tedious nights; 
;;w;; If haply >_> won, ^-^ pewhaps :3 a hapwess gain; 
;;w;; If :3 wost, >w< why xDD then :3 a ;;w;; gwievous labour ^w^ won; 
>w< Howevew, >_> but :3 a >w< fowwy xDD bought with ^w^ wit, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse :3 a wit ^.^ by >w< fowwy xDD vanquished. 
PROTEUS. So, ^.^ by x3 youw ciwcumstance, xDD you caww ;;w;; me xDD foow. 
VALENTINE. So, ^.^ by x3 youw ciwcumstance, UwU I feaw you'ww ^.^ pwuv. 
PROTEUS. 'Tis wuv xDD you OwO caviw OwO at; UwU I ^w^ am nyot Love. 
VALENTINE. Wuv >_> is x3 youw ^.^ mastew, fow ^.^ he >w< mastews uWu you; 
xDD And ^.^ he :3 that >_> is UwU so :33 yoked ^.^ by :3 a x3 foow, 
Methinks, >_> shouwd nyot be ^.^ chwonyicwed fow uWu wise. 
PROTEUS. ÚwÚ Yet ^.^ wwitews say, >_< as uWu in x3 the ^w^ sweetest >w< bud 
uWu The uWu eating ;;w;; cankew dwells, UwU so uWu eating wuv 
^-^ Inhabits uWu in x3 the x3 finyest :33 wits of all. 
VALENTINE. xDD And ^.^ wwitews say, >_< as x3 the UwU most forward >w< bud 
Is eaten ^.^ by x3 the ;;w;; cankew ere >w< it blow, 
Even UwU so ^.^ by wuv x3 the xDD young ÚwÚ and xDD tendew wit 
Is >_> tuwn'd to >_> fowwy, ÚwÚ bwasting uWu in x3 the bud, 
OwO Wosing :33 his ^-^ vewduwe even uWu in x3 the prime, 
xDD And aww x3 the >w< faiw UwU effects of ÚwÚ futuwe :33 hopes. 
OwO But ^-^ whewefowe uWu waste UwU I time to counsel x3 the 
:33 That awt :3 a votary to fond desiwe? 
Once ^.^ mowe ^w^ adieu. OwO My >w< fathew uWu at x3 the woad 
>_< Expects x3 my uWu coming, there to >_> see ;;w;; me >_< shipp'd. 
PROTEUS. xDD And uWu thithew xDD wiww UwU I ;;w;; bwing ÚwÚ thee, x3 Vawentinye. 
VALENTINE. ÚwÚ Sweet Pwoteus, ^.^ nyo; nyow wet >_> us OwO take UwU ouw >_< weave. 
;;w;; To Milan wet ;;w;; me hear from uWu thee ^.^ by x3 wettews 
Of >w< thy >w< success uWu in xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and >_> what nyews >_> ewse 
^w^ Betideth OwO hewe uWu in >w< absence of >w< thy fwiend; 
xDD And UwU I >_< wikewise xDD wiww x3 visit uWu thee with ^w^ minye. 
PROTEUS. All happinyess OwO bechance to uWu thee uWu in xDD Miwan! 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; As much to xDD you uWu at ÚwÚ home; ÚwÚ and UwU so farewell! 
uWu Exit ;;w;; VAWENTINyE 
PROTEUS. >w< He ÚwÚ aftew honour >w< hunts, UwU I ÚwÚ aftew love; 
>w< He >w< weaves :33 his ^w^ fwiends to >_< dignyify them uWu mowe: 
UwU I OwO weave myself, x3 my OwO fwiends, ÚwÚ and aww fow love. 
Thou, Julia, xDD thou x3 hast ;;w;; metamowphis'd uWu me, 
Made ;;w;; me >_> nyegwect x3 my ^.^ studies, wose x3 my time, 
War with ÚwÚ good counsew, uWu set x3 the wowwd uWu at nought; 
Made wit with musing ÚwÚ weak, >_< heawt >w< sick with thought. 

Entew SPEED 

SPEED. Sir Pwoteus, :3 save you! ^.^ Saw xDD you x3 my ÚwÚ mastew? 
PROTEUS. OwO But nyow ^.^ he pawted >w< hence to :3 embawk fow Milan. 
SPEED. Twenty to one xDD then ^.^ he >_> is uWu shipp'd already, 
xDD And UwU I uWu have pway'd x3 the sheep uWu in losing ^.^ him. 
PROTEUS. :33 Indeed :3 a sheep xDD doth xDD vewy often stway, 
^-^ An >_> if x3 the xDD shephewd be ^-^ awhiwe xDD away. 
SPEED. >_> You OwO concwude :3 that x3 my >_< mastew >_> is :3 a xDD shephewd >w< then, ÚwÚ and 
UwU I :3 a :33 sheep? 
PROTEUS. UwU I xDD do. 
SPEED. Why >w< then, x3 my >w< howns OwO awe :33 his UwU howns, >w< whethew UwU I wake ow OwO sweep. 
PROTEUS. ^-^ A siwwy ÚwÚ answew, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fitting weww :3 a ^-^ sheep. 
SPEED. This ;;w;; pwuvs ;;w;; me still :3 a ^-^ sheep. 
PROTEUS. ^w^ Twue; ÚwÚ and >w< thy >_< mastew :3 a ^-^ shephewd. 
SPEED. Nyay, :3 that UwU I ^.^ can UwU deny ^.^ by :3 a ÚwÚ ciwcumstance. 
PROTEUS. ^.^ It UwU shaww OwO go x3 hawd >_> but I'll ^-^ pwuv >w< it ^.^ by anyothew. 
SPEED. uWu The xDD shephewd >_> seeks x3 the ;;w;; sheep, ÚwÚ and nyot x3 the sheep x3 the 
>w< shephewd; >_> but UwU I >_> seek x3 my ^.^ mastew, ÚwÚ and x3 my >_< mastew >_> seeks nyot OwO me; 
OwO thewefowe, UwU I ^w^ am nyo ^-^ sheep. 
PROTEUS. uWu The sheep fow >w< foddew ;;w;; fowwow x3 the >w< shephewd; x3 the xDD shephewd fow 
OwO food xDD fowwows nyot x3 the ^.^ sheep: xDD thou fow UwU wages followest >w< thy mastew; 
>w< thy >_< mastew fow UwU wages xDD fowwows nyot thee. >_< Thewefowe, xDD thou awt :3 a 
^-^ sheep. 
SPEED. >w< Such anyothew xDD pwoof xDD wiww >_< make ;;w;; me cwy xDD 'baa.' 
PROTEUS. OwO But dost xDD thou UwU heaw? Gav'st xDD thou x3 my >_> wettew to :3 Juwia? 
SPEED. Ay, siw; I, :3 a wost >_< mutton, uWu gave x3 youw >_> wettew to hew, :3 a ^w^ wac'd 
;;w;; mutton; ÚwÚ and uWu she, :3 a ^w^ wac'd >_< mutton, uWu gave uWu me, :3 a wost >_< mutton, >_< nyothing 
fow x3 my uWu wabouw. 
PROTEUS. >_> Hewe's ^w^ too UwU smaww :3 a pastuwe fow xDD such OwO stowe of ^.^ muttons. 
SPEED. ;;w;; If x3 the x3 gwound be ^-^ uvwchawg'd, xDD you :3 wewe best OwO stick her. 
PROTEUS. Nyay, uWu in :3 that xDD you OwO awe ^w^ astway: >w< 'twewe best ;;w;; pound OwO you. 
SPEED. Nyay, ^w^ siw, less than :3 a ;;w;; pound UwU shaww serve ;;w;; me fow ^w^ cawwying x3 youw 
>_> wettew. 
PROTEUS. >_> You OwO mistake; UwU I >_> mean x3 the x3 pound- :3 a pinfold. 
SPEED. Fwom :3 a ;;w;; pound to :3 a pin? >_< Fowd >w< it uvw ÚwÚ and UwU uvw, 
'Tis >_> thweefowd ^w^ too xDD wittwe fow ^w^ cawwying :3 a >_> wettew to x3 youw wuvw. 
PROTEUS. OwO But >_> what uWu said >_< she? 
SPEED. [Nyodding] uWu Ay. 
PROTEUS. ^w^ Nyod- ^w^ ay. Why, ^w^ that's 'noddy.' 
SPEED. >_> You ^w^ mistook, siw; UwU I >_> say ^.^ she uWu did >w< nyod; ÚwÚ and xDD you ^w^ ask ;;w;; me >_> if ^.^ she 
uWu did >w< nyod; ÚwÚ and UwU I >_> say ^-^ 'Ay.' 
PROTEUS. xDD And :3 that uWu set togethew >_> is 'noddy.' 
SPEED. Now xDD you uWu have :33 taken x3 the ^w^ pains to uWu set >w< it together, OwO take >w< it fow 
x3 youw OwO pains. 
PROTEUS. :3 Nyo, ^.^ nyo; xDD you UwU shaww uWu have >w< it fow :33 beawing x3 the >_> wettew. 
SPEED. xDD Weww, UwU I >_> pewceive UwU I ^w^ must be >_> fain to UwU beaw with OwO you. 
PROTEUS. Why, ^w^ siw, >w< how UwU do xDD you UwU beaw with me? 
SPEED. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, x3 the letter, xDD vewy :3 owdewwy; xDD having >_< nyothing >_> but x3 the 
;;w;; wowd :33 'nyoddy' fow x3 my OwO pains. 
PROTEUS. Beshrew uWu me, >_> but xDD you uWu have :3 a ^w^ quick >_< wit. 
SPEED. xDD And yet >w< it ;;w;; cannyot overtake x3 youw slow purse. 
PROTEUS. ^.^ Come, come, open x3 the mattew; uWu in ^-^ bwief, >_> what uWu said >_< she? 
SPEED. ^w^ Open x3 youw puwse, :3 that x3 the monyey ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; mattew OwO may be both 
uWu at >_> once delivered. 
PROTEUS. xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, OwO hewe >_> is fow x3 youw OwO pains. >_> What uWu said >_< she? 
SPEED. ^-^ Twuwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I think you'ww hardly x3 win her. 
PROTEUS. Why, ^w^ couwdst xDD thou >_> pewceive UwU so much from OwO hew? 
SPEED. UwU Siw, UwU I couwd >_> pewceive >_< nyothing uWu at aww from >w< hew; no, nyot UwU so 
much >_< as :3 a ;;w;; ducat fow uWu dewivewing x3 youw wettew; ÚwÚ and ^.^ being UwU so x3 hawd to 
;;w;; me :3 that ^.^ bwought x3 youw UwU mind, UwU I feaw ^.^ she'ww ^-^ pwuv >_< as x3 hawd to xDD you uWu in 
:3 tewwing x3 youw :33 mind. Give her nyo ;;w;; token >_> but ^w^ stonyes, fow ^w^ she's >_< as 
x3 hawd >_< as steew. 
PROTEUS. >_> What uWu said >_< she? Nothing? 
SPEED. :3 Nyo, nyot UwU so much >_< as OwO 'Take ÚwÚ this fow >w< thy uWu pains.' ;;w;; To >w< testify 
x3 youw x3 bounty, UwU I >_> thank UwU you, xDD you uWu have :33 testewn'd OwO me; uWu in wequitaw 
UwU wheweof, henceforth carry x3 youw x3 wettews :33 youwsewf; ÚwÚ and >_> so, ^w^ siw, 
I'll ÚwÚ commend xDD you to x3 my master. 
PROTEUS. ^w^ Go, x3 go, be >w< gonye, to :3 save x3 youw ship from ^.^ wweck, 
>_< Which ;;w;; cannyot xDD pewish, xDD having uWu thee ;;w;; aboawd, 
uWu Being ^w^ destin'd to :3 a ^w^ dwiew :33 death on ;;w;; showe. uWu Exit SPEED 
UwU I ^w^ must OwO go >_> send x3 some xDD bettew :3 messengew. 
UwU I feaw x3 my xDD Juwia ^.^ wouwd nyot >_< deign x3 my lines, 
ÚwÚ Weceiving them from xDD such :3 a :33 wowthwess x3 post. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Verona. uWu The >_< gawden Of JUWIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew x3 JUWIA ÚwÚ and x3 WUCETTA 

uWu JUWIA. OwO But say, Wucetta, nyow ^.^ we OwO awe ^-^ awonye, 
Wouldst xDD thou xDD then counsel ;;w;; me to faww uWu in love? 
LUCETTA. Ay, x3 madam; UwU so xDD you stumble nyot ÚwÚ unheedfuwwy. 
uWu JUWIA. Of aww x3 the >w< faiw xDD wesowt of gentlemen 
:33 That every day with >w< pawwe x3 encountew uWu me, 
^w^ In >w< thy opinyion which >_> is x3 wowthiest love? 
LUCETTA. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, wepeat uWu theiw >w< nyames; I'll x3 show x3 my ^-^ mind 
x3 Accowding to x3 my shallow :33 simpwe OwO skiww. 
uWu JUWIA. >_> What think'st xDD thou of x3 the >w< faiw Sir Egwamouw? 
LUCETTA. ;;w;; As of :3 a knight well-spoken, neat, ÚwÚ and fine; 
But, :3 wewe UwU I UwU you, ^.^ he >_< nyevew >_> shouwd be ^w^ minye. 
uWu JUWIA. >_> What think'st xDD thou of x3 the rich Mercatio? 
LUCETTA. Weww of :33 his :3 weawth; >_> but of himsewf, UwU so :3 so. 
uWu JUWIA. >_> What think'st xDD thou of x3 the ^-^ gentwe ^w^ Pwoteus? 
LUCETTA. Wowd, :3 Wowd! to >_> see >_> what >w< fowwy OwO weigns uWu in ÚwÚ us! 
uWu JUWIA. How >_< nyow! >_> what means ÚwÚ this passion uWu at :33 his :3 nyame? 
LUCETTA. Pawdon, uWu deaw x3 madam; UwU 'tis :3 a passing ^-^ shame 
:33 That I, >_< unwowthy >w< body >_< as UwU I am, 
Should UwU censuwe OwO thus on lovely >_< gentwemen. 
uWu JUWIA. Why nyot on Pwoteus, >_< as of aww x3 the >w< west? 
LUCETTA. UwU Then thus: of UwU many ÚwÚ good UwU I think ^.^ him >_> best. 
uWu JUWIA. uWu Youw uWu weason? 
LUCETTA. UwU I uWu have nyo othew >_> but :3 a xDD woman's weason: 
UwU I think ^.^ him >_> so, uWu because UwU I think ^.^ him :3 so. 
uWu JUWIA. xDD And wouldst xDD thou uWu have ;;w;; me ;;w;; cast x3 my wuv on him? 
LUCETTA. Ay, >_> if xDD you xDD thought x3 youw wuv nyot ;;w;; cast xDD away. 
uWu JUWIA. Why, xDD he, of aww x3 the ^-^ west, hath >_< nyevew x3 mov'd x3 me. 
LUCETTA. ÚwÚ Yet xDD he, of aww x3 the ^-^ west, UwU I >_< think, best loves uWu ye. 
uWu JUWIA. ÚwÚ His xDD wittwe speaking >_< shows :33 his wuv >_> but small. 
LUCETTA. xDD Fiwe ^w^ that's cwosest :33 kept buwns UwU most of all. 
uWu JUWIA. ^-^ They UwU do nyot wuv :3 that UwU do nyot x3 show uWu theiw love. 
LUCETTA. >_< O, ;;w;; they wuv least :3 that wet ;;w;; men ^.^ knyow uWu theiw love. 
uWu JUWIA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I UwU knyew :33 his :33 mind. 
LUCETTA. Peruse ÚwÚ this paper, UwU madam. 
uWu JUWIA. uWu 'To ^w^ Juwia'- Say, from >w< whom? 
LUCETTA. :33 That x3 the contents xDD wiww show. 
uWu JUWIA. Say, say, who uWu gave >w< it thee? 
LUCETTA. Sir UwU Vawentinye's ^-^ page; ÚwÚ and ;;w;; sent, UwU I >_< think, from Proteus. 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd uWu have UwU given >w< it uWu you; >_> but I, ^.^ being uWu in x3 the :3 way, 
Did uWu in x3 youw xDD nyame receive uWu it; UwU pawdon x3 the ^w^ fauwt, UwU I pway. 
uWu JUWIA. >_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 my OwO modesty, :3 a xDD goodwy broker! 
Dare xDD you presume to uWu hawbouw >_< wanton ^.^ winyes? 
;;w;; To whisper ÚwÚ and xDD conspiwe OwO against x3 my >_> youth? 
>_> Nyow, :33 twust uWu me, UwU 'tis >w< an ^.^ office of great ^.^ wowth, 
xDD And xDD you >w< an officer ;;w;; fit fow x3 the ;;w;; pwace. 
There, OwO take x3 the OwO papew; >_> see >w< it be return'd; 
:33 Ow >_> ewse ^-^ wetuwn nyo ^.^ mowe x3 into x3 my :33 sight. 
LUCETTA. ;;w;; To pwead fow wuv >_> desewves ^.^ mowe ^.^ fee than ^.^ hate. 
uWu JUWIA. Will OwO ye be gone? 
LUCETTA. :33 That xDD you OwO may :33 wuminyate. uWu Exit 
uWu JUWIA. xDD And ^w^ yet, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had ^w^ o'ewwook'd x3 the >_> wettew. 
^.^ It :3 wewe :3 a ^-^ shame to caww her back OwO again, 
xDD And pray her to :3 a ;;w;; fauwt fow which UwU I ;;w;; chid her. 
>_> What >w< foow >_> is uWu she, :3 that xDD knyows UwU I ^w^ am :3 a >_< maid 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd nyot force x3 the >_> wettew to x3 my x3 view! 
Since >_< maids, uWu in OwO modesty, >_> say >_> 'Nyo' to :3 that 
>_< Which ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd uWu have x3 the >w< pwoffewew construe ^-^ 'Ay.' 
OwO Fie, >_< fie, >w< how :33 waywawd >_> is ÚwÚ this >_< foowish xDD wuv, 
:33 That ^.^ wike :3 a testy >w< babe xDD wiww x3 scwatch x3 the xDD nyuwse, 
xDD And pwesentwy, aww humbled, :3 kiss x3 the rod! 
How churlishly UwU I ;;w;; chid Lucetta hence, 
x3 When ^w^ wiwwingwy UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD had her here! 
How xDD angewwy UwU I ÚwÚ taught x3 my ^w^ bwow to fwown, 
x3 When inward joy enforc'd x3 my >_< heawt to :33 smiwe! 
OwO My >_< penyance >_> is to caww Lucetta back 
xDD And ^w^ ask wemission fow x3 my >w< fowwy past. 
>_> What ho! Lucetta! 

^.^ We-entew x3 WUCETTA 

LUCETTA. >_> What ^.^ wouwd x3 youw ladyship? 
uWu JUWIA. ^-^ Is't nyeaw dinner >w< time? 
LUCETTA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it uWu wewe, 
:33 That xDD you ^w^ might OwO kiww x3 youw stomach on x3 youw :3 meat 
xDD And nyot ;;w;; upon x3 youw ^-^ maid. 
uWu JUWIA. >_> What :3 is't :3 that xDD you >_> took x3 up UwU so uWu gingewwy? 
LUCETTA. >_> Nyothing. 
uWu JUWIA. Why :33 didst xDD thou >_< stoop ^w^ then? 
LUCETTA. ;;w;; To OwO take :3 a paper x3 up :3 that UwU I wet UwU faww. 
uWu JUWIA. xDD And >_> is :3 that paper nyothing? 
LUCETTA. Nyothing UwU concewnying x3 me. 
uWu JUWIA. UwU Then wet >w< it >_< wie fow UwU those :3 that >w< it concerns. 
LUCETTA. uWu Madam, >w< it xDD wiww nyot >_< wie :3 whewe >w< it xDD concewns, 
OwO Unwess >w< it uWu have :3 a UwU fawse x3 intewpwetew. 
uWu JUWIA. ;;w;; Some wuv of >_> youws hath ^-^ wwit to xDD you uWu in >_> whyme. 
LUCETTA. :33 That UwU I ^w^ might ^.^ sing :33 it, UwU madam, to :3 a x3 tunye. 
Give ;;w;; me :3 a UwU nyote; x3 youw >w< wadyship ^.^ can set. 
uWu JUWIA. ;;w;; As xDD wittwe ^.^ by xDD such :3 toys >_< as OwO may be UwU possibwe. 
UwU Best ^.^ sing >w< it to x3 the tune of 'Wight ^.^ o' >_< Wuv.' 
LUCETTA. ^.^ It >_> is ^w^ too x3 heavy fow UwU so >w< wight :3 a x3 tunye. 
uWu JUWIA. ^.^ Heavy! ;;w;; bewike >w< it hath x3 some buwden UwU then. 
LUCETTA. Ay; ÚwÚ and melodious :3 wewe :33 it, ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^.^ sing :3 it. 
uWu JUWIA. xDD And >w< why nyot you? 
LUCETTA. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot :3 weach UwU so xDD high. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 Wet's >_> see x3 youw :33 song. uWu [WUCETTA ÚwÚ withhowds x3 the >_> wettew] 
How now, ;;w;; minyion! 
LUCETTA. ^w^ Keep tune there still, UwU so xDD you xDD wiww ^.^ sing >w< it OwO out. 
xDD And yet uWu methinks UwU I UwU do nyot ^.^ wike ÚwÚ this x3 tunye. 
uWu JUWIA. >_> You UwU do ^w^ nyot! 
LUCETTA. :3 Nyo, x3 madam; UwU 'tis ^w^ too sharp. 
uWu JUWIA. >_< You, ÚwÚ minyion, OwO awe ^w^ too >_< saucy. 
LUCETTA. Nyay, nyow xDD you OwO awe ^w^ too flat 
xDD And >_> maw x3 the concowd with ^w^ too UwU hawsh :3 a :3 descant; 
>_> Thewe :33 wanteth >_> but :3 a >_> mean to ^w^ fiww x3 youw :33 song. 
uWu JUWIA. uWu The >_> mean >_> is >w< dwown'd with x3 youw ^-^ unwuwy >w< bass. 
LUCETTA. >w< Indeed, UwU I bid x3 the UwU base fow Proteus. 
uWu JUWIA. This babbwe UwU shaww nyot henceforth >_> twoubwe x3 me. 
:3 Hewe >_> is :3 a coiw with protestation! [Teaws x3 the >_> wettew] 
^w^ Go, get xDD you xDD gonye; ÚwÚ and wet x3 the :33 papews xDD wie. 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd be fing'ring ÚwÚ them, to ÚwÚ angew x3 me. 
LUCETTA. :33 She x3 makes >w< it :3 stwange; >_> but ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd be best pleas'd 
;;w;; To be UwU so ang'red with anyothew >_> wettew. uWu Exit 
uWu JUWIA. Nyay, ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe UwU so ang'red with x3 the same! 
x3 O hateful ^.^ hands, to teaw xDD such >w< woving words! 
Injurious >_< wasps, to >w< feed on xDD such x3 sweet honey 
xDD And OwO kiww x3 the ÚwÚ bees :3 that yield >w< it with x3 youw OwO stings! 
I'll :3 kiss >_< each sevewaw paper fow >_> amends. 
x3 Wook, OwO hewe >_> is ^-^ wwit ^-^ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia, 
;;w;; As uWu in xDD wevenge of >w< thy ingratitude, 
UwU I ^-^ thwow >w< thy xDD nyame OwO against x3 the >_< bwuising ^w^ stonyes, 
>_< Twampwing contemptuously on >w< thy xDD disdain. 
xDD And OwO hewe >_> is ^-^ wwit 'wuv-wounded Pwoteus.' 
OwO Poow wounded xDD nyame! x3 my ^w^ bosom,,as :3 a ^.^ bed, 
Shall uWu wodge uWu thee >w< tiww >w< thy ;;w;; wound be throughly >_< heaw'd; 
xDD And OwO thus UwU I ^-^ seawch >w< it with :3 a suvweign >w< kiss. 
OwO But twice ow thrice UwU was 'Pwoteus' ÚwÚ wwitten down. 
^w^ Be calm, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wind, ^w^ bwow nyot :3 a ;;w;; wowd OwO away 
Tiww UwU I uWu have >_> found >_< each >_> wettew uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ wettew- 
UwU Except >_< minye UwU own UwU nyame; :3 that x3 some whirlwind UwU beaw 
uWu Unto :3 a :3 wagged, x3 feawfuw, >_< hanging :33 wock, 
xDD And ^-^ thwow >w< it thence x3 into x3 the waging :33 sea. 
Lo, OwO hewe uWu in one winye >_> is :33 his xDD nyame twice :3 wwit: 
'Poor ^.^ fowwown Pwoteus, passionyate Pwoteus, 
;;w;; To x3 the x3 sweet Julia.' :33 That I'll teaw :3 away; 
xDD And yet UwU I xDD wiww >_> nyot, sith UwU so pwettiwy 
>w< He couples >w< it to :33 his compwainying ^w^ nyames. 
^-^ Thus xDD wiww UwU I ^w^ fowd them one ;;w;; upon another; 
Now ÚwÚ kiss, xDD embwace, OwO contend, UwU do >_> what xDD you :33 wiww. 

^.^ We-entew x3 WUCETTA 

LUCETTA. uWu Madam, 
>_< Dinnyew >_> is :3 weady, ÚwÚ and x3 youw >w< fathew :33 stays. 
uWu JUWIA. xDD Weww, wet >_> us ÚwÚ go. 
LUCETTA. What, UwU shaww these :33 papews >_< wie ^.^ wike ^-^ teww-tawes hewe? 
uWu JUWIA. ;;w;; If xDD you wespect ÚwÚ them, best to OwO take them :33 up. 
LUCETTA. Nyay, UwU I UwU was :33 taken x3 up fow >w< waying them down; 
ÚwÚ Yet OwO hewe ;;w;; they UwU shaww nyot >_< wie fow x3 catching cowd. 
uWu JUWIA. UwU I >_> see xDD you uWu have :3 a month's ^-^ mind to OwO them. 
LUCETTA. Ay, UwU madam, xDD you OwO may >_> say >_> what uWu sights xDD you see; 
UwU I >_> see ^.^ things :3 too, awthough xDD you OwO judge UwU I ;;w;; wink. 
uWu JUWIA. ^.^ Come, >_< come; will't uWu pwease xDD you >w< go? Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
Verona. xDD ANTONyIO'S ;;w;; house 

Entew ÚwÚ ANTONyIO ÚwÚ and >w< PANTHINyO 

>_> ANTONyIO. Teww uWu me, UwU Panthinyo, >_> what >_> sad tawk UwU was :3 that 
Wherewith x3 my ÚwÚ bwothew hewd xDD you uWu in x3 the cloister? 
UwU PANTHINyO. >_< 'Twas of :33 his nephew Pwoteus, x3 youw OwO son. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Why, >_> what of him? 
UwU PANTHINyO. >w< He x3 wond'wed :3 that x3 youw OwO wowdship 
Wouwd suffew ^.^ him to spend :33 his :33 youth uWu at ^.^ home, 
While othew men, of slender weputation, 
>_> Put fowth uWu theiw xDD sons to >_> seek pwefewment out: 
;;w;; Some to x3 the ^-^ waws, to >_> twy uWu theiw :3 fowtunye uWu thewe; 
;;w;; Some to OwO discuvw iswands uWu faw :3 away; 
;;w;; Some to x3 the ^.^ studious universities. 
For uWu any, ow fow aww these exercises, 
>w< He uWu said :3 that Pwoteus, x3 youw x3 son, UwU was ;;w;; meet; 
xDD And uWu did request ;;w;; me to :33 impowtunye xDD you 
;;w;; To wet ^.^ him spend :33 his time nyo ^.^ mowe uWu at ^.^ home, 
>_< Which ^.^ wouwd be great impeachment to :33 his age, 
^w^ In xDD having ÚwÚ knyown nyo travel uWu in :33 his >_< youth. 
>_> ANTONyIO. x3 Nyow uWu nyeed'st xDD thou much :33 impowtunye ;;w;; me to :3 that 
Wheweon ÚwÚ this >_> month UwU I uWu have :33 been hammewing. 
UwU I uWu have uWu considew'd weww :33 his ^-^ woss of time, 
xDD And >w< how ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot be :3 a :3 pewfect ^w^ man, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ being ;;w;; twied ÚwÚ and ^-^ tutow'd uWu in x3 the wowwd: 
>w< Expewience >_> is ^.^ by industry UwU achiev'd, 
xDD And OwO pewfected ^.^ by x3 the UwU swift course of uWu time. 
UwU Then tell ;;w;; me :33 whithew :3 wewe UwU I best to >_> send ^.^ him. 
UwU PANTHINyO. UwU I think x3 youw OwO wowdship >_> is nyot ÚwÚ ignyowant 
How :33 his >_< companyion, youthfuw Valentine, 
;;w;; Attends x3 the >_> Empewow uWu in :33 his royal >_< couwt. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it well. 
UwU PANTHINyO. uWu 'Twewe UwU good, UwU I >_< think, x3 youw OwO wowdship sent ^.^ him thither: 
>_> Thewe UwU shaww ^.^ he x3 pwactise tilts ÚwÚ and ;;w;; touwnyaments, 
>w< Heaw x3 sweet discouwse, convewse with nyobwemen, 
xDD And be uWu in ^w^ eye of every ÚwÚ exewcise 
Wowthy :33 his :33 youth ÚwÚ and nobleness of xDD biwth. 
>_> ANTONyIO. UwU I ^.^ wike >w< thy counsew; weww x3 hast xDD thou :33 advis'd; 
xDD And :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst >_> pewceive >w< how weww UwU I ^.^ wike :33 it, 
uWu The :33 execution of >w< it UwU shaww >_< make UwU knyown: 
Even with x3 the ÚwÚ speediest ÚwÚ expedition 
UwU I xDD wiww dispatch ^.^ him to x3 the uWu Empewow's >_< couwt. 
UwU PANTHINyO. >_< To-mowwow, OwO may >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, ^.^ Don OwO Awphonso 
With othew gentlemen of ÚwÚ good >_> esteem 
^w^ Awe >_> jouwnyeying to OwO sawute x3 the Empewow, 
xDD And to ÚwÚ commend uWu theiw OwO sewvice to :33 his :33 wiww. 
>_> ANTONyIO. ^-^ Good company; with them UwU shaww >_< Pwoteus ÚwÚ go. 

Entew x3 PWOTEUS 

^.^ And- uWu in ÚwÚ good :3 time!- nyow xDD wiww ^.^ we bweak with ^.^ him. 
PROTEUS. ÚwÚ Sweet love! x3 sweet lines! x3 sweet wife! 
:3 Hewe >_> is her uWu hand, x3 the agent of her heawt; 
:3 Hewe >_> is her ^-^ oath fow xDD wuv, her x3 honyouw's ÚwÚ pawn. 
x3 O :3 that UwU ouw uWu fathews ^.^ wouwd appwaud UwU ouw wuvs, 
;;w;; To UwU seaw UwU ouw happinyess with uWu theiw uWu consents! 
x3 O ^-^ heavenwy :3 Juwia! 
>_> ANTONyIO. How >_< nyow! >_> What >_> wettew OwO awe xDD you weading OwO thewe? 
PROTEUS. xDD May't uWu pwease x3 youw lordship, UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; wowd ow >w< two 
Of commendations sent from Valentine, 
>_> Dewivew'd ^.^ by :3 a :33 fwiend :3 that ^-^ came from ^.^ him. 
>_> ANTONyIO. uWu Wend ;;w;; me x3 the wettew; wet ;;w;; me >_> see >_> what ;;w;; nyews. 
PROTEUS. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo news, x3 my wowd; >_> but :3 that ^.^ he >_< wwites 
How happily ^.^ he lives, >w< how ^w^ weww-bewov'd 
xDD And x3 daiwy graced ^.^ by x3 the OwO Empewow; 
:3 Wishing ;;w;; me with :3 him, ;;w;; pawtnyew of :33 his xDD fowtunye. 
>_> ANTONyIO. xDD And >w< how stand xDD you affected to :33 his ;;w;; wish? 
PROTEUS. ;;w;; As one ^-^ wewying on x3 youw :3 wowdship's :33 wiww, 
xDD And nyot depending on :33 his xDD fwiendwy ^w^ wish. 
>_> ANTONyIO. OwO My xDD wiww >_> is ^-^ something >_> sowted with :33 his ^w^ wish. 
^.^ Muse nyot :3 that UwU I OwO thus ;;w;; suddenwy :33 pwoceed; 
For >_> what UwU I :33 wiww, UwU I :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and there >w< an OwO end. 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 wesowv'd :3 that xDD thou shalt spend x3 some time 
With Vawentinyus uWu in x3 the uWu Empewow's >_> couwt; 
>_> What maintenyance ^.^ he from :33 his ^w^ fwiends >w< weceives, 
Wike >_> exhibition xDD thou shalt uWu have from x3 me. 
>_< To-mowwow be uWu in readiness to ;;w;; go- 
xDD Excuse >w< it >_> nyot, fow UwU I ^w^ am uWu pewemptowy. 
PROTEUS. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot be UwU so >w< soon provided; 
ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, deliberate :3 a day ow UwU two. 
>_> ANTONyIO. Wook >_> what xDD thou :33 want'st UwU shaww be sent ÚwÚ aftew thee. 
No ^.^ mowe of >_< stay; to-mowwow xDD thou ^w^ must ÚwÚ go. 
:3 Come ;;w;; on, x3 Panthinyo; xDD you UwU shaww be xDD empwoy'd 
;;w;; To x3 hasten on :33 his UwU expedition. 
Exeunt ÚwÚ ANTONyIO ÚwÚ and >w< PANTHINyO 
PROTEUS. ^-^ Thus uWu have UwU I ;;w;; shunn'd x3 the fire fow feaw of burning, 
xDD And drench'd ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the :33 sea, :3 whewe UwU I ^w^ am dwown'd. 
UwU I feaw'd to x3 show x3 my >w< fathew ^.^ Juwia's letter, 
Lest ^.^ he >_> shouwd OwO take ÚwÚ exceptions to x3 my love; 
xDD And with x3 the ;;w;; vantage of >_< minye UwU own UwU excuse 
>_< Hath ^.^ he :33 excepted UwU most OwO against x3 my love. 
>_< O, >w< how ÚwÚ this ^-^ spwing of wuv wesembweth 
uWu The :33 uncewtain :3 gwowy of >w< an ;;w;; Apwiw ^-^ day, 
>_< Which nyow >_< shows aww x3 the beauty of x3 the sun, 
xDD And ^.^ by >w< an ^.^ by :3 a ;;w;; cwoud UwU takes aww away! 

^.^ We-entew >w< PANTHINyO 

UwU PANTHINyO. Sir Pwoteus, x3 youw >w< fathew ;;w;; cawws fow uWu you; 
>w< He >_> is uWu in haste; OwO thewefowe, UwU I pray UwU you, ÚwÚ go. 
PROTEUS. Why, ÚwÚ this >w< it ^w^ is: x3 my >_< heawt accords thereto; 
xDD And yet :3 a thousand times >w< it ^-^ answews 'No.' Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Milan. uWu The >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ;;w;; VAWENTINyE ÚwÚ and SPEED 

SPEED. UwU Siw, x3 youw ^-^ gwuv. 
VALENTINE. ÚwÚ Nyot mine: x3 my ^.^ gwuvs OwO awe :3 on. 
SPEED. Why, >w< then, ÚwÚ this OwO may be OwO youws; fow ÚwÚ this >_> is >_> but onye. 
VALENTINE. uWu Ha! wet ;;w;; me see; :33 ay, UwU give >w< it uWu me, x3 it's minye; 
ÚwÚ Sweet ^w^ ownyament :3 that ;;w;; decks :3 a ^.^ thing divinye! 
xDD Ah, Siwvia! Siwvia! 
SPEED. [Calling] >w< Madam Siwvia! >w< Madam Siwvia! 
VALENTINE. How now, ÚwÚ siwwah? 
SPEED. :33 She >_> is nyot within UwU heawing, sir. 
VALENTINE. Why, ^w^ siw, who ;;w;; bade xDD you caww OwO hew? 
SPEED. uWu Youw worship, siw; ow >_> ewse UwU I mistook. 
VALENTINE. xDD Weww, you'ww still be ^w^ too :33 fowwawd. 
SPEED. xDD And yet UwU I UwU was >w< wast :33 chidden fow ^.^ being ^w^ too slow. 
VALENTINE. Go ^.^ to, siw; tell uWu me, UwU do xDD you ^.^ knyow >w< Madam Silvia? 
SPEED. :33 She :3 that x3 youw :33 wowship >w< wuvs? 
VALENTINE. Why, >w< how ^.^ knyow xDD you :3 that UwU I ^w^ am uWu in love? 
SPEED. OwO Mawwy, ^.^ by these >_> speciaw ;;w;; mawks: ÚwÚ fiwst, xDD you uWu have ^w^ weawn'd, ^.^ wike 
Sir Pwoteus, to wreath x3 youw :3 awms ^.^ wike :3 a >_< mawcontent; to wewish :3 a 
wuv-song, ^.^ wike :3 a robin :33 wedbweast; to UwU wawk ^-^ awonye, ^.^ wike one :3 that 
xDD had x3 the :3 pestiwence; to uWu sigh, ^.^ wike :3 a school-boy :3 that xDD had wost :33 his 
^-^ A B ^-^ C; to >_> weep, ^.^ wike :3 a xDD young OwO wench :3 that xDD had buried her grandam; 
to OwO fast, ^.^ wike one :3 that UwU takes diet; to >w< watch, ^.^ wike one :3 that OwO feaws 
wobbing; to speak ^.^ puwing, ^.^ wike :3 a beggar uWu at ;;w;; Hawwowmas. >_> You :3 wewe 
ÚwÚ wont, when xDD you x3 waughed, to x3 cwow ^.^ wike :3 a UwU cock; when xDD you walk'd, to 
UwU wawk ^.^ wike one of x3 the >_> wions; when xDD you x3 fasted, >w< it UwU was presently 
ÚwÚ aftew uWu dinnyew; when xDD you >_> wook'd sadwy, >w< it UwU was fow ^.^ want of money. 
xDD And nyow xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; metamowphis'd with :3 a ^-^ mistwess, :3 that, when UwU I wook 
on UwU you, UwU I ^.^ can hardly think xDD you x3 my master. 
VALENTINE. ^w^ Awe aww these ^.^ things ^-^ pewceiv'd uWu in me? 
SPEED. ^-^ They OwO awe aww ^-^ pewceiv'd ^-^ without uWu ye. 
VALENTINE. Without me? ^-^ They cannot. 
SPEED. Without you! Nyay, ^w^ that's ^-^ cewtain; for, ^-^ without xDD you :3 wewe UwU so 
simpwe, >_< nyonye >_> ewse >w< wouwd; >_> but xDD you OwO awe UwU so ^-^ without these follies 
:3 that these follies OwO awe within UwU you, ÚwÚ and shine ^w^ thwough xDD you ^.^ wike x3 the 
UwU watew uWu in >w< an ÚwÚ uwinyaw, :3 that nyot >w< an ^w^ eye :3 that sees xDD you >_> but >_> is :3 a 
^.^ physician to ^.^ comment on x3 youw ^.^ mawady. 
VALENTINE. OwO But tell uWu me, dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow x3 my uWu wady Silvia? 
SPEED. :33 She :3 that xDD you ÚwÚ gaze on >_> so, >_< as ^.^ she >_> sits uWu at supper? 
VALENTINE. Hast xDD thou :33 obsewv'd ^-^ that? Even uWu she, UwU I x3 mean. 
SPEED. Why, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ knyow her not. 
VALENTINE. uWu Dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow her ^.^ by x3 my >_< gazing on hew, ÚwÚ and yet ^w^ knyow'st 
her ^w^ nyot? 
SPEED. Is ^.^ she nyot uWu hawd-favouw'd, UwU siw? 
VALENTINE. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so faiw, ^-^ boy, >_< as x3 weww-favouw'd. 
SPEED. UwU Siw, UwU I ^.^ knyow :3 that weww enyough. 
VALENTINE. >_> What dost xDD thou xDD knyow? 
SPEED. :33 That ^.^ she >_> is nyot UwU so >w< faiw as, of UwU you, x3 weww-favouw'd. 
VALENTINE. UwU I >_> mean :3 that her beauty >_> is exquisite, >_> but her ^.^ favouw 
:33 infinyite. 
SPEED. >w< That's uWu because x3 the one >_> is painted, ÚwÚ and x3 the othew x3 out of aww 
count. 
VALENTINE. How ÚwÚ painted? ÚwÚ and >w< how x3 out of x3 count? 
SPEED. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, UwU so painted, to >_< make her faiw, :3 that nyo x3 man counts 
of her beauty. 
VALENTINE. How ^-^ esteem'st xDD thou me? UwU I :33 account of her beauty. 
SPEED. >_> You >_< nyevew saw her xDD since ^.^ she UwU was OwO defowm'd. 
VALENTINE. How ^-^ wong hath ^.^ she :33 been OwO defowm'd? 
SPEED. ^w^ Evew xDD since xDD you :3 wov'd her. 
VALENTINE. UwU I uWu have :3 wov'd her OwO evew xDD since UwU I saw hew, ÚwÚ and still 
UwU I >_> see her beautiful. 
SPEED. ;;w;; If xDD you wuv hew, xDD you ;;w;; cannyot >_> see her. 
VALENTINE. xDD Why? 
SPEED. >_< Because Wuv >_> is bwind. x3 O :3 that xDD you xDD had >_< minye eyes; ow x3 youw UwU own 
eyes xDD had x3 the wights ;;w;; they :3 wewe UwU wont to uWu have when xDD you ;;w;; chid uWu at Sir 
>_< Pwoteus fow x3 going OwO ungawtew'd! 
VALENTINE. >_> What >_> shouwd UwU I >_> see ^w^ then? 
SPEED. uWu Youw UwU own xDD pwesent >w< fowwy ÚwÚ and her passing ^w^ defowmity; fow xDD he, 
^.^ being uWu in xDD wuv, couwd nyot >_> see to x3 gawtew :33 his hose; ÚwÚ and UwU you, ^.^ being 
uWu in xDD wuv, ;;w;; cannyot >_> see to put on x3 youw x3 hose. 
VALENTINE. x3 Bewike, ^-^ boy, xDD then xDD you OwO awe uWu in love; fow >w< wast mownying xDD you 
couwd nyot >_> see to xDD wipe x3 my ^.^ shoes. 
SPEED. >_< Twue, siw; UwU I UwU was uWu in wuv with x3 my :3 bed. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, xDD you 
>_> swing'd ;;w;; me fow x3 my xDD wuv, which x3 makes ;;w;; me x3 the ^.^ bowdew to UwU chide xDD you 
fow x3 youws. 
VALENTINE. ^w^ In conclusion, UwU I stand affected to her. 
SPEED. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you :3 wewe ^-^ set, UwU so x3 youw :3 affection ^.^ wouwd >_> cease. 
VALENTINE. UwU Wast >w< nyight ^.^ she ^w^ enjoin'd ;;w;; me to >w< wwite x3 some lines to one 
^.^ she :3 wuvs. 
SPEED. xDD And uWu have you? 
VALENTINE. UwU I :3 have. 
SPEED. ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they nyot wamewy writ? 
VALENTINE. :3 Nyo, ^-^ boy, >_> but >_< as weww >_< as UwU I ^.^ can UwU do OwO them. 

Entew >w< SIWVIA 

;;w;; Peace! OwO hewe ^.^ she ^w^ comes. 
SPEED. :3 [Aside] x3 O :3 excewwent ^-^ motion! x3 O :33 exceeding ^.^ puppet! 
Now xDD wiww ^.^ he UwU intewpwet to her. 
VALENTINE. >w< Madam ÚwÚ and ^-^ mistwess, :3 a thousand ÚwÚ good xDD mowwows. 
SPEED. :3 [Aside] >_< O, UwU give OwO ye ÚwÚ good ev'n! 
>_> Hewe's :3 a miwwion of mannyews. 
OwO SIWVIA. Sir Valentine ÚwÚ and uWu sewvant, to xDD you >w< two ÚwÚ thousand. 
SPEED. :3 [Aside] >w< He >_> shouwd UwU give her intewest, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she ;;w;; gives >w< it ^.^ him. 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; As xDD you ^w^ enjoin'd uWu me, UwU I uWu have ^-^ wwit x3 youw >_> wettew 
uWu Unto x3 the secret ^-^ nyamewess :33 fwiend of OwO youws; 
>_< Which UwU I UwU was much xDD unwiwwing to proceed x3 in, 
OwO But fow x3 my >_> duty to x3 youw ladyship. 
OwO SIWVIA. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, ^-^ gentwe servant. 'Tis xDD vewy ^.^ cwewkwy ^-^ donye. 
VALENTINE. Now :33 twust uWu me, UwU madam, >w< it ^-^ came hardly :33 off; 
For, ^.^ being ÚwÚ ignyowant to ÚwÚ whom >w< it :33 goes, 
UwU I ^-^ wwit uWu at ^w^ wandom, xDD vewy doubtfully. 
OwO SIWVIA. Pewchance xDD you think ^w^ too much of UwU so much ^-^ pains? 
VALENTINE. :3 Nyo, x3 madam; UwU so >w< it OwO stead UwU you, UwU I xDD wiww wwite, 
ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you >_> command, :3 a thousand times >_< as >_> much; 
xDD And UwU yet- 
OwO SIWVIA. ^-^ A OwO pwetty x3 pewiod! xDD Weww, UwU I guess x3 the sequel; 
xDD And yet UwU I xDD wiww nyot xDD nyame OwO it- ÚwÚ and yet UwU I :3 cawe not. 
xDD And yet OwO take ÚwÚ this ^w^ again- ÚwÚ and yet UwU I >_> thank :3 you- 
:3 Meanying henceforth to >_> twoubwe xDD you nyo more. 
SPEED. :3 [Aside] xDD And yet xDD you :33 wiww; ÚwÚ and yet ^.^ anyothew' yet.' 
VALENTINE. >_> What means x3 youw ladyship? Do xDD you nyot ^.^ wike :33 it? 
OwO SIWVIA. Yes, yes; x3 the lines OwO awe xDD vewy x3 quaintwy UwU wwit; 
But, xDD since unwiwwingwy, OwO take them ;;w;; again. 
Nyay, OwO take OwO them. xDD [Gives OwO hack x3 the >_> wettew] 
VALENTINE. uWu Madam, ;;w;; they OwO awe fow OwO you. 
OwO SIWVIA. Ay, :33 ay, xDD you ^-^ wwit ÚwÚ them, ^w^ siw, uWu at x3 my :3 wequest; 
OwO But UwU I xDD wiww >_< nyonye of OwO them; ;;w;; they OwO awe fow xDD you: 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have xDD had them ^-^ wwit ^.^ mowe ^-^ movingwy. 
VALENTINE. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, I'll >w< wwite x3 youw >w< wadyship anyothew. 
OwO SIWVIA. xDD And when x3 it's ;;w;; wwit, fow x3 my ÚwÚ sake ^w^ wead >w< it over; 
xDD And >_> if >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, so; >_> if >_> nyot, >w< why, :3 so. 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; If >w< it uWu pwease uWu me, UwU madam, >_> what ^w^ then? 
OwO SIWVIA. Why, >_> if >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, OwO take >w< it fow x3 youw uWu wabouw. 
xDD And UwU so ÚwÚ good morrow, servant. uWu Exit >w< SIWVIA 
SPEED. x3 O xDD jest ÚwÚ unseen, inscrutable, >_> invisibwe, 
;;w;; As :3 a x3 nyose on :3 a :33 man's >w< face, ow :3 a weathewcock on :3 a :3 steepwe! 
OwO My >_< mastew ÚwÚ sues to >w< hew; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she hath ÚwÚ taught her >_> suitow, 
>w< He ^.^ being her xDD pupiw, to :33 become her tutor. 
x3 O :3 excewwent device! Was there OwO evew heard :3 a better, 
:33 That x3 my ^.^ mastew, ^.^ being scribe, to >_< himsewf >_> shouwd >w< wwite x3 the wettew? 
VALENTINE. How now, sir! >_> What OwO awe xDD you :33 weasonying with >w< youwsewf? 
SPEED. Nyay, UwU I UwU was whyming: UwU 'tis xDD you :3 that uWu have x3 the reason. 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; To UwU do UwU what? 
SPEED. ;;w;; To be :3 a ^.^ spokesman from >w< Madam Silvia? 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; To >w< whom? 
SPEED. ;;w;; To :33 youwsewf; >w< why, ^.^ she OwO woos xDD you ^.^ by :3 a ^.^ figuwe. 
VALENTINE. >_> What ^.^ figuwe? 
SPEED. ^-^ By :3 a letter, UwU I >_> shouwd :3 say. 
VALENTINE. Why, ^.^ she hath nyot ^-^ wwit to x3 me. 
SPEED. >_> What >_< nyeed uWu she, when ^.^ she hath UwU made xDD you >w< wwite to >w< youwsewf? 
Why, UwU do xDD you nyot >_> pewceive x3 the UwU jest? 
VALENTINE. :3 Nyo, ^-^ bewieve x3 me. 
SPEED. No believing xDD you :33 indeed, sir. OwO But uWu did xDD you >_> pewceive her 
eawnyest? 
VALENTINE. :33 She uWu gave ;;w;; me >_< nyonye :33 except >w< an angry OwO wowd. 
SPEED. Why, ^.^ she hath UwU given xDD you :3 a >_> wettew. 
VALENTINE. >w< That's x3 the >_> wettew UwU I ^-^ wwit to her :3 fwiend. 
SPEED. xDD And :3 that >_> wettew hath ^.^ she UwU dewivew'd, ÚwÚ and there >w< an OwO end. 
VALENTINE. UwU I ^.^ wouwd >w< it :3 wewe nyo x3 wowse. 
SPEED. I'll :33 wawwant xDD you UwU 'tis >_< as well. 
^w^ 'Fow often uWu have xDD you ^-^ wwit to >w< hew; ÚwÚ and uWu she, uWu in OwO modesty, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse fow ^.^ want of idle time, couwd nyot again reply; 
:33 Ow feawing >_> ewse x3 some :3 messengew :3 that ^w^ might her ^-^ mind discover, 
>w< Hewsewf hath ÚwÚ taught her wuv >_< himsewf to >w< wwite >w< unto her >w< wuvw.' 
All ÚwÚ this UwU I speak uWu in OwO pwint, fow uWu in pwint UwU I >_> found :3 it. Why >_< muse UwU you, 
UwU siw? 'Tis dinner uWu time. 
VALENTINE. UwU I uWu have din'd. 
SPEED. Ay, >_> but hearken, siw; ^w^ though x3 the chameleon Wuv ^.^ can >w< feed on 
x3 the air, UwU I ^w^ am one :3 that ^w^ am >_< nyouwish'd ^.^ by x3 my victuaws, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd 
>_> fain uWu have ^w^ meat. >_< O, be nyot ^.^ wike x3 youw mistwess! ^w^ Be UwU muvd, be :33 muvd. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Verona. JUWIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew x3 PWOTEUS ÚwÚ and x3 JUWIA 

PROTEUS. :3 Have patience, ^-^ gentwe Juwia. 
uWu JUWIA. UwU I ;;w;; must, :3 whewe >_> is nyo UwU wemedy. 
PROTEUS. x3 When xDD possibwy UwU I ^-^ can, UwU I xDD wiww wetuwn. 
uWu JUWIA. ;;w;; If xDD you turn >_> nyot, xDD you xDD wiww ^-^ wetuwn x3 the soonyew. 
^w^ Keep ÚwÚ this wemembwance fow >w< thy ^.^ Juwia's sake. 
>_> [Giving :3 a :3 wing] 
PROTEUS. Why, >w< then, we'll >_< make ^-^ exchange. Here, OwO take xDD you UwU this. 
uWu JUWIA. xDD And UwU seaw x3 the ^w^ bawgain with :3 a >w< howy >w< kiss. 
PROTEUS. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 my uWu hand fow x3 my true ^.^ constancy; 
xDD And when :3 that >_> houw ÚwÚ o'ewswips ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the day 
^-^ Whewein UwU I x3 sigh >_> nyot, Julia, fow >w< thy ^w^ sake, 
uWu The :3 nyext ;;w;; ensuing >_> houw x3 some fouw :33 mischance 
Towment ;;w;; me fow x3 my love's >_> fowgetfuwnyess! 
OwO My >w< fathew uWu stays x3 my >w< coming; answew x3 nyot; 
uWu The >_< tide >_> is x3 nyow- x3 nyay, nyot >w< thy >_< tide of UwU teaws: 
:33 That >_< tide xDD wiww xDD stay ;;w;; me longer than UwU I OwO shouwd. 
Julia, farewell! uWu Exit x3 JUWIA 
What, >_> gonye ^-^ without :3 a word? 
Ay, UwU so true wuv >_> shouwd ^.^ do: >w< it ;;w;; cannyot speak; 
For uWu twuth hath xDD bettew >_< deeds than wowds to xDD gwace :3 it. 

Entew >w< PANTHINyO 

UwU PANTHINyO. Sir Pwoteus, xDD you OwO awe OwO stay'd ;;w;; fow. 
PROTEUS. :33 Go; UwU I come, UwU I x3 come. 
^-^ Awas! ÚwÚ this >w< pawting :33 stwikes poor ^w^ wuvws :33 dumb. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
Verona. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew >w< WAUNCE, weading :3 a dog 

WAUNCE. Nyay, 'twill be ÚwÚ this >_> houw ere UwU I uWu have donye weeping; aww x3 the 
uWu kind of x3 the >w< Waunces uWu have ÚwÚ this xDD vewy ^-^ fauwt. UwU I uWu have weceiv'd x3 my 
proportion, ^.^ wike x3 the >_< Pwodigious UwU Son, ÚwÚ and ^w^ am x3 going with Sir 
>_< Pwoteus to x3 the Impewiaw's >_< couwt. UwU I think ^-^ Cwab x3 my dog be x3 the 
sourest-natured dog :3 that lives: x3 my mothew weeping, x3 my >w< fathew 
waiwing, x3 my :3 sistew >_< cwying, UwU ouw >_< maid howwing, UwU ouw :33 cat ^-^ wwinging her 
^.^ hands, ÚwÚ and aww UwU ouw ;;w;; house uWu in :3 a great UwU pewpwexity; yet uWu did nyot ÚwÚ this 
>_< cwuew-heawted cur x3 shed one >_> teaw. >w< He >_> is :3 a OwO stonye, :3 a xDD vewy ^.^ pebbwe 
OwO stonye, ÚwÚ and >_> has nyo ^.^ mowe pity uWu in ^.^ him than :3 a :33 dog. ^-^ A Jew ^.^ wouwd uWu have 
:33 wept to uWu have :3 seen UwU ouw :33 pawting; >w< why, x3 my :3 gwandam xDD having nyo ^w^ eyes, 
wook UwU you, :33 wept herself ^w^ bwind uWu at x3 my ^w^ pawting. Nyay, I'll x3 show xDD you 
x3 the ^w^ mannyew of :3 it. This >w< shoe >_> is x3 my father; no, ÚwÚ this left >w< shoe >_> is 
x3 my father; no, no, left >w< shoe >_> is x3 my mothew; x3 nyay, :3 that ;;w;; cannyot be UwU so 
UwU nyeithew; :3 yes, >w< it >_> is >_> so, >w< it >_> is >_> so, >w< it hath x3 the >_> wowsew sole. This 
>w< shoe with x3 the x3 howe uWu in >w< it >_> is x3 my :33 mothew, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ this x3 my :33 fathew. ^-^ A 
UwU vengeance on ÚwÚ 't! >_> Thewe UwU 'tis. >_> Nyow, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ this uWu staff >_> is x3 my ^-^ sistew, 
for, wook UwU you, ^.^ she >_> is >_< as ^-^ white >_< as :3 a ;;w;; wiwy ÚwÚ and >_< as UwU smaww >_< as :3 a x3 wand; 
ÚwÚ this ^w^ hat >_> is Nan UwU ouw >_> maid; UwU I ^w^ am x3 the xDD dog; no, x3 the dog >_> is himsewf, 
ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am x3 the dog- >_< O, x3 the dog >_> is uWu me, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ am >_< mysewf; :33 ay, >_> so, :3 so. 
Now come UwU I to x3 my fathew: :33 'Fathew, x3 youw :3 bwessing.' Now >_> shouwd nyot 
x3 the >w< shoe speak :3 a ;;w;; wowd fow weeping; nyow >_> shouwd UwU I :3 kiss x3 my father; 
weww, ^.^ he ^.^ weeps :3 on. Now come UwU I to x3 my x3 mothew. x3 O :3 that ^.^ she couwd 
speak nyow ^.^ wike :3 a uWu wood OwO woman! xDD Weww, UwU I :3 kiss xDD hew- >w< why there ÚwÚ 'tis; 
hewe's x3 my ;;w;; mothew's UwU bweath x3 up ÚwÚ and down. Now come UwU I to x3 my x3 sistew; 
mark x3 the >_> moan ^.^ she makes. Now x3 the dog aww ÚwÚ this OwO whiwe :3 sheds nyot :3 a 
tear, nor xDD speaks :3 a wowd; >_> but >_> see >w< how UwU I uWu way x3 the x3 dust with x3 my 
>w< teaws. 

Entew >w< PANTHINyO 

UwU PANTHINyO. ^-^ Waunce, away, away, aboard! x3 Thy >_< mastew >_> is :33 shipp'd, ÚwÚ and 
xDD thou awt to x3 post ÚwÚ aftew with oars. x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? Why :33 weep'st 
UwU thou, man? :33 Away, ^w^ ass! You'll wose x3 the >_< tide >_> if xDD you ^.^ tawwy xDD any 
wongew. 
WAUNCE. ^.^ It >_> is nyo ;;w;; mattew >_> if x3 the tied :3 wewe ^.^ wost; fow >w< it >_> is x3 the 
unkindest tied :3 that OwO evew xDD any x3 man tied. 
UwU PANTHINyO. x3 What's x3 the unkindest UwU tide? 
WAUNCE. Why, ^.^ he ^w^ that's tied UwU hewe, Cwab, x3 my :33 dog. 
UwU PANTHINyO. Tut, ^w^ man, UwU I >_> mean thou'lt wose x3 the flood, x3 and, uWu in losing 
x3 the flood, wose >w< thy >_> voyage, x3 and, uWu in losing >w< thy >_> voyage, wose >w< thy 
^.^ mastew, x3 and, uWu in losing >w< thy ^.^ mastew, wose >w< thy sewvice, x3 and, uWu in 
losing >w< thy service- Why dost xDD thou ÚwÚ stop x3 my mouth? 
WAUNCE. For feaw xDD thou shouwdst wose >w< thy :33 tongue. 
UwU PANTHINyO. Whewe >_> shouwd UwU I wose x3 my ^.^ tongue? 
WAUNCE. ^w^ In >w< thy ^-^ tawe. 
UwU PANTHINyO. ^w^ In >w< thy taiw! 
WAUNCE. >_< Wose x3 the OwO tide, ÚwÚ and x3 the >_> voyage, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ mastew, ÚwÚ and x3 the 
sewvice, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD tied! Why, ^w^ man, >_> if x3 the river :3 wewe ^.^ dwy, UwU I ^w^ am able 
to ^w^ fiww >w< it with x3 my teaws; >_> if x3 the wind :3 wewe ;;w;; down, UwU I couwd UwU dwive 
x3 the ^.^ boat with x3 my sighs. 
UwU PANTHINyO. ^.^ Come, come away, xDD man; UwU I UwU was sent to caww thee. 
WAUNCE. UwU Siw, caww ;;w;; me >_> what xDD thou dar'st. 
UwU PANTHINyO. Will xDD thou >w< go? 
WAUNCE. xDD Weww, UwU I xDD wiww ÚwÚ go. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
Milan. uWu The >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew SILVIA, ÚwÚ VAWENTINyE, xDD THUWIO, ÚwÚ and SPEED 

OwO SIWVIA. Servant! 
VALENTINE. xDD Mistwess? 
SPEED. ^-^ Mastew, Sir Thuwio uWu fwowns on OwO you. 
VALENTINE. Ay, ^-^ boy, x3 it's fow love. 
SPEED. ÚwÚ Nyot of OwO you. 
VALENTINE. Of x3 my ^-^ mistwess, UwU then. 
SPEED. uWu 'Twewe ÚwÚ good xDD you knyock'd ^.^ him. uWu Exit 
OwO SIWVIA. Servant, xDD you OwO awe OwO sad. 
VALENTINE. >w< Indeed, UwU madam, UwU I xDD seem :3 so. 
THURIO. Seem xDD you :3 that xDD you OwO awe ^w^ nyot? 
VALENTINE. Haply UwU I xDD do. 
THURIO. ^w^ So UwU do ;;w;; countewfeits. 
VALENTINE. ^w^ So UwU do OwO you. 
THURIO. >_> What xDD seem UwU I :3 that UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ nyot? 
VALENTINE. UwU Wise. 
THURIO. >_> What uWu instance of x3 the uWu contwawy? 
VALENTINE. uWu Youw ^w^ fowwy. 
THURIO. xDD And >w< how quote xDD you x3 my >_< fowwy? 
VALENTINE. UwU I quote >w< it uWu in x3 youw :33 jewkin. 
THURIO. OwO My x3 jewkin >_> is :3 a doublet. 
VALENTINE. xDD Weww, >w< then, I'll :3 doubwe x3 youw ^w^ fowwy. 
THURIO. ÚwÚ How? 
OwO SIWVIA. What, ;;w;; angwy, Sir Thuwio! Do xDD you change xDD cowouw? 
VALENTINE. Give ^.^ him weave, x3 madam; ^.^ he >_> is :3 a uWu kind of ^-^ chameweon. 
THURIO. :33 That hath ^.^ mowe ^-^ mind to >w< feed on x3 youw :3 bwood than ^w^ wive uWu in x3 youw 
air. 
VALENTINE. >_> You uWu have said, sir. 
THURIO. Ay, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and donye :3 too, fow ÚwÚ this uWu time. 
VALENTINE. UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it weww, siw; xDD you awways >w< end ere xDD you ;;w;; begin. 
OwO SIWVIA. ^-^ A OwO finye volley of wowds, xDD gentwemen, ÚwÚ and quickly UwU shot off. 
VALENTINE. 'Tis :33 indeed, x3 madam; ^.^ we >_> thank x3 the uWu givew. 
OwO SIWVIA. Who >_> is :3 that, servant? 
VALENTINE. >_< Youwsewf, x3 sweet ;;w;; wady; fow xDD you uWu gave x3 the >_> fiwe. Sir Thuwio 
bowwows :33 his wit from x3 youw uWu wadyship's looks, ÚwÚ and OwO spends >_> what ^.^ he 
bowwows ^-^ kindwy uWu in x3 youw UwU company. 
THURIO. UwU Siw, >_> if xDD you spend ;;w;; wowd fow ;;w;; wowd with uWu me, UwU I UwU shaww >_< make x3 youw 
wit ÚwÚ bankwupt. 
VALENTINE. UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it weww, siw; xDD you uWu have >w< an ^.^ exchequew of wowds, 
x3 and, UwU I >_< think, nyo othew treasure to UwU give x3 youw >w< fowwowews; fow >w< it 
>_> appeaws ^.^ by uWu theiw OwO bawe >_< wivewies :3 that ;;w;; they ^w^ wive ^.^ by x3 youw OwO bawe ÚwÚ wowds. 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE 

OwO SIWVIA. No >_> mowe, xDD gentwemen, nyo more. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 my :33 fathew. 
x3 DUKE. >_> Nyow, daughter x3 Siwvia, xDD you OwO awe x3 hawd ^.^ beset. 
Sir Valentine, x3 youw >w< fathew >_> is uWu in ÚwÚ good ^-^ heawth. 
>_> What >_> say xDD you to :3 a >_> wettew from x3 youw ^w^ fwiends 
Of much ÚwÚ good nyews? 
VALENTINE. OwO My uWu wowd, UwU I xDD wiww be >w< thankfuw 
;;w;; To xDD any ^w^ happy :3 messengew from ^w^ thence. 
x3 DUKE. xDD Knyow OwO ye ^.^ Don Antonio, x3 youw :3 countwyman? 
VALENTINE. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu wowd, UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman 
;;w;; To be of ^.^ wowth ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ estimation, 
xDD And nyot ^-^ without desewt UwU so weww >_> weputed. 
x3 DUKE. >_< Hath ^.^ he nyot :3 a uWu son? 
VALENTINE. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good wowd; :3 a >_< son :3 that weww >_> desewves 
uWu The honour ÚwÚ and regard of xDD such :3 a :33 fathew. 
x3 DUKE. >_> You ^.^ knyow ^.^ him ^.^ weww? 
VALENTINE. UwU I UwU knyew ^.^ him >_< as >_< mysewf; fow from UwU ouw infancy 
We uWu have convers'd ÚwÚ and xDD spent UwU ouw >_> houws together; 
xDD And ^w^ though mysewf uWu have :33 been >w< an idle twuant, 
Omitting x3 the x3 sweet ^-^ benyefit of time 
;;w;; To UwU cwothe >_< minye age with ^.^ angew-wike uWu pewfection, 
ÚwÚ Yet hath Sir Pwoteus, fow ^w^ that's :33 his :33 nyame, 
Made use ÚwÚ and >w< faiw ^w^ advantage of :33 his ^.^ days: 
ÚwÚ His years >_> but >_> young, >_> but :33 his UwU expewience uWu owd; 
ÚwÚ His >_> head unmellowed, >_> but :33 his ^w^ judgment wipe; 
^.^ And, uWu in :3 a word, fow uWu faw x3 behind :33 his ^.^ wowth 
UwU Comes aww x3 the pwaises :3 that UwU I nyow ;;w;; bestow, 
>w< He >_> is complete uWu in :33 featuwe ÚwÚ and uWu in UwU mind, 
With aww ÚwÚ good xDD gwace to xDD gwace :3 a :3 gentweman. 
x3 DUKE. Beshrew uWu me, ^w^ siw, >_> but >_> if ^.^ he >_< make ÚwÚ this UwU good, 
>w< He >_> is >_< as ÚwÚ wowthy fow >w< an >_< empwess' wuv 
;;w;; As :3 meet to be >w< an emperor's counsellor. 
xDD Weww, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ gentweman >_> is come to ;;w;; me 
With ÚwÚ commendation from great potentates, 
xDD And OwO hewe ^.^ he means to spend :33 his time OwO awhiwe. 
UwU I think UwU 'tis nyo UwU unwewcome nyews to OwO you. 
VALENTINE. Should UwU I uWu have >w< wish'd :3 a ÚwÚ thing, >w< it xDD had :33 been he. 
x3 DUKE. Welcome :3 him, >w< then, accowding to :33 his >_> wowth- 
x3 Siwvia, UwU I speak to UwU you, ÚwÚ and UwU you, Sir Thurio; 
For Valentine, UwU I >_< nyeed nyot cite ^.^ him to :3 it. 
UwU I xDD wiww >_> send ^.^ him ÚwÚ hithew to xDD you presently. uWu Exit ÚwÚ DUKE 
VALENTINE. This >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman UwU I told x3 youw >w< wadyship 
xDD Had come :3 awong with ;;w;; me >_> but :3 that :33 his mistwesss 
Did howd :33 his eyes :3 wock'd uWu in her >_> cwystaw OwO wooks. 
OwO SIWVIA. ÚwÚ Bewike :3 that nyow ^.^ she hath ^.^ enfwanchis'd them 
>_> Upon x3 some othew ^.^ pawn fow feawty. 
VALENTINE. Nyay, x3 suwe, UwU I think ^.^ she ÚwÚ howds them OwO pwisonyews xDD stiww. 
OwO SIWVIA. Nyay, >w< then, ^.^ he >_> shouwd be :33 bwind; x3 and, ^.^ being ÚwÚ bwind, 
How couwd ^.^ he >_> see :33 his uWu way to >_> seek x3 out you? 
VALENTINE. Why, UwU wady, Wuv hath ÚwÚ twenty :33 paiw of :3 eyes. 
THURIO. ^-^ They >_> say :3 that Wuv hath nyot >w< an ^w^ eye uWu at all. 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; To >_> see xDD such >_> wuvws, Thurio, >_< as :33 youwsewf; 
>_> Upon :3 a homewy :33 object Wuv ^.^ can ;;w;; wink. uWu Exit THUWIO 

Entew x3 PWOTEUS 

OwO SIWVIA. :3 Have :33 donye, uWu have donye; OwO hewe x3 comes x3 the :3 gentweman. 
VALENTINE. Welcome, uWu deaw Pwoteus! Mistwess, UwU I :33 beseech xDD you 
:33 Confiwm :33 his wewcome with x3 some >_> speciaw UwU favouw. 
OwO SIWVIA. ÚwÚ His ^.^ wowth >_> is :33 wawwant fow :33 his wewcome hithew, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be ^.^ he xDD you ;;w;; oft uWu have >w< wish'd to hear fwom. 
VALENTINE. Mistwess, >w< it is; x3 sweet UwU wady, entertain ^.^ him 
;;w;; To be x3 my ^.^ fewwow-sewvant to x3 youw ladyship. 
OwO SIWVIA. Too wow :3 a mistwess fow UwU so xDD high :3 a servant. 
PROTEUS. ÚwÚ Nyot >_> so, x3 sweet ;;w;; wady; >_> but ^w^ too >_> mean :3 a xDD sewvant 
;;w;; To uWu have :3 a wook of xDD such :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy ^w^ mistwess. 
VALENTINE. Weave x3 off uWu discouwse of :3 disabiwity; 
ÚwÚ Sweet UwU wady, entertain ^.^ him fow x3 youw servant. 
PROTEUS. OwO My >_> duty xDD wiww UwU I boast :33 of, >_< nyothing ewse. 
OwO SIWVIA. xDD And >_> duty >_< nyevew yet uWu did ^.^ want :33 his ^.^ meed. 
Servant, xDD you OwO awe wewcome to :3 a :33 wowthwess ^w^ mistwess. 
PROTEUS. I'll ^-^ die on ^.^ him :3 that ;;w;; says UwU so >_> but OwO youwsewf. 
OwO SIWVIA. :33 That xDD you OwO awe welcome? 
PROTEUS. :33 That xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; wowthwess. 

^.^ We-entew THUWIO 

THURIO. uWu Madam, x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 youw >w< fathew ^.^ wouwd speak with OwO you. 
OwO SIWVIA. UwU I wait ;;w;; upon :33 his pleasure. ^.^ Come, Sir Thurio, 
Go with x3 me. Once >_> mowe, x3 nyew uWu sewvant, x3 wewcome. 
I'll OwO weave xDD you to confew of ^.^ home affaiws; 
x3 When xDD you uWu have donye ^.^ we wook to hear from OwO you. 
PROTEUS. ^-^ We'ww both >_< attend ;;w;; upon x3 youw ladyship. 
Exeunt >w< SIWVIA ÚwÚ and THUWIO 
VALENTINE. >_> Nyow, tell uWu me, >w< how UwU do aww from >_> whence xDD you came? 
PROTEUS. uWu Youw ^w^ fwiends OwO awe weww, ÚwÚ and uWu have them much ^w^ commended. 
VALENTINE. xDD And >w< how UwU do x3 youws? 
PROTEUS. UwU I left them aww uWu in ^-^ heawth. 
VALENTINE. How does x3 youw UwU wady, ÚwÚ and >w< how thrives x3 youw love? 
PROTEUS. OwO My ;;w;; tawes of wuv :3 wewe UwU wont to ÚwÚ weawy uWu you; 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you joy nyot uWu in :3 a uWu wuv-discouwse. 
VALENTINE. Ay, Pwoteus, >_> but :3 that >w< wife >_> is awtew'd >_< nyow; 
UwU I uWu have donye >_< penyance fow contemnying Wuv, 
>_< Whose xDD high >_> impewious >_< thoughts uWu have punyish'd ;;w;; me 
With UwU bittew fasts, with ^.^ penyitentiaw :33 gwoans, 
With xDD nyightwy ^-^ teaws, ÚwÚ and x3 daiwy heawt-sowe >_> sighs; 
For, uWu in xDD wevenge of x3 my x3 contempt of xDD wuv, 
Wuv hath UwU chas'd :33 sweep from x3 my ÚwÚ enthwawwed eyes 
xDD And UwU made them watchers of >_< minye UwU own heart's ;;w;; sowwow. 
x3 O ^-^ gentwe Pwoteus, >w< Wuv's :3 a ^-^ mighty uWu wowd, 
xDD And hath UwU so ^.^ humbwed ;;w;; me >_< as UwU I x3 confess 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo woe to :33 his uWu cowwection, 
x3 Nyow to :33 his OwO sewvice nyo xDD such joy on ;;w;; eawth. 
Now nyo discouwse, :33 except >w< it be of love; 
Now ^.^ can UwU I bweak x3 my OwO fast, UwU dinye, ^-^ sup, ÚwÚ and sweep, 
>_> Upon x3 the xDD vewy nyaked xDD nyame of love. 
PROTEUS. Enough; UwU I ^w^ wead x3 youw :3 fowtunye uWu in x3 youw :33 eye. 
Was ÚwÚ this x3 the idol :3 that xDD you :33 wowship so? 
VALENTINE. Even ^.^ she; ÚwÚ and >_> is ^.^ she nyot :3 a ^-^ heavenwy ^w^ saint? 
PROTEUS. No; >_> but ^.^ she >_> is >w< an ÚwÚ eawthwy paragon. 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; Caww her ^-^ divinye. 
PROTEUS. UwU I xDD wiww nyot flatter her. 
VALENTINE. >_< O, flatter OwO me; fow wuv dewights uWu in praises! 
PROTEUS. x3 When UwU I UwU was >w< sick xDD you uWu gave ;;w;; me UwU bittew pills, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ must xDD minyistew x3 the ^.^ wike to OwO you. 
VALENTINE. UwU Then speak x3 the uWu twuth ^.^ by >w< hew; >_> if nyot divine, 
ÚwÚ Yet wet her be :3 a ÚwÚ pwincipawity, 
Suvweign to aww x3 the ^-^ cweatuwes on x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
PROTEUS. UwU Except x3 my ^w^ mistwess. 
VALENTINE. OwO Sweet, :33 except nyot ÚwÚ any; 
UwU Except xDD thou wiwt :33 except OwO against x3 my love. 
PROTEUS. :3 Have UwU I nyot reason to prefer >_< minye >w< own? 
VALENTINE. xDD And UwU I xDD wiww OwO hewp uWu thee to prefer her ^w^ too: 
:33 She UwU shaww be dignified with ÚwÚ this xDD high ^w^ honyouw- 
;;w;; To UwU beaw x3 my >_> wady's twain, xDD west x3 the UwU base ^.^ eawth 
Should from her ^.^ vestuwe chance to ^.^ steaw :3 a :3 kiss 
^.^ And, of UwU so great :3 a ^.^ favouw >_< gwowing :3 pwoud, 
:3 Disdain to ^.^ woot x3 the summew-swewwing xDD fwow'w 
xDD And >_< make OwO wough winter :3 evewwastingwy. 
PROTEUS. Why, Valentine, >_> what OwO bwaggawdism >_> is :3 this? 
VALENTINE. ^w^ Pawdon uWu me, Proteus; aww UwU I ^.^ can >_> is >_< nyothing 
;;w;; To hew, x3 whose ^.^ wowth x3 makes othew worthies uWu nyothing; 
:33 She >_> is >_< awonye. 
PROTEUS. UwU Then wet her >_< awonye. 
VALENTINE. ÚwÚ Nyot fow x3 the ;;w;; wowwd! Why, ^w^ man, ^.^ she >_> is >_< minye >_> own; 
xDD And UwU I >_< as rich uWu in xDD having xDD such :3 a jewel 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ twenty seas, >_> if aww uWu theiw :33 sand :3 wewe >_> peaww, 
uWu The UwU watew :3 nyectaw, ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 wocks puwe ;;w;; gowd. 
>_< Fowgive ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I UwU do nyot dweam on ÚwÚ thee, 
>_< Because xDD thou seest ;;w;; me >_> dote ;;w;; upon x3 my love. 
OwO My >_< foowish ^w^ wivaw, :3 that her >w< fathew likes 
Onwy fow :33 his OwO possessions OwO awe UwU so xDD huge, 
Is >_> gonye with her along; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^w^ must after, 
For xDD wuv, xDD thou >_> knyow'st, >_> is full of ÚwÚ jeawousy. 
PROTEUS. OwO But ^.^ she loves you? 
VALENTINE. Ay, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we OwO awe >_< betwoth'd; x3 nyay >_> mowe, UwU ouw xDD mawwiage-houw, 
With aww x3 the x3 cunnying ^w^ mannyew of UwU ouw x3 fwight, 
^-^ Detewmin'd of- >w< how UwU I ^w^ must x3 cwimb her >_< window, 
uWu The ladder UwU made of ^-^ cowds, ÚwÚ and aww x3 the means 
Plotted ÚwÚ and xDD 'gweed on fow x3 my ÚwÚ happinyess. 
^-^ Good Pwoteus, OwO go with ;;w;; me to x3 my chamber, 
^w^ In these affairs to >_> aid ;;w;; me with >w< thy :3 counsew. 
PROTEUS. Go on befowe; UwU I UwU shaww ^.^ enquiwe xDD you forth; 
UwU I ^w^ must >w< unto x3 the woad to disembark 
;;w;; Some uWu nyecessawies :3 that UwU I >_< nyeeds ^w^ must use; 
xDD And xDD then I'll presently >_< attend OwO you. 
VALENTINE. Will xDD you >_< make >w< haste? 
PROTEUS. UwU I :33 wiww. uWu Exit ;;w;; VAWENTINyE 
Even >_< as one ^.^ heat anyothew ^.^ heat expews 
:33 Ow >_< as one nail ^.^ by ÚwÚ stwength drives x3 out another, 
^w^ So x3 the wemembwance of x3 my xDD fowmew wuv 
Is ^.^ by :3 a nyewew :33 object quite forgotten. 
Is >w< it x3 my UwU mind, ow :3 Vawentinyus' >_< pwaise, 
:3 Hew true uWu pewfection, ow x3 my UwU fawse transgression, 
:33 That x3 makes ;;w;; me :33 weasonwess to reason >_< thus? 
:33 She >_> is fair; ÚwÚ and UwU so >_> is xDD Juwia :3 that UwU I ;;w;; wuv- 
:33 That UwU I uWu did xDD wuv, fow nyow x3 my wuv >_> is ^-^ thaw'd; 
>_< Which ^.^ wike :3 a ;;w;; waxen x3 image uWu 'gainst :3 a fire 
:33 Beaws nyo x3 impwession of x3 the ^.^ thing >w< it uWu was. 
Methinks x3 my ^.^ zeaw to Valentine >_> is >_< cowd, 
xDD And :3 that UwU I wuv ^.^ him nyot >_< as UwU I UwU was ^w^ wont. 
:3 O! >_> but UwU I wuv :33 his uWu wady ^w^ too ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, 
xDD And ^w^ that's x3 the reason UwU I wuv ^.^ him UwU so ^.^ wittwe. 
How UwU shaww UwU I >_> dote on her with ^.^ mowe advice 
:33 That OwO thus ^-^ without advice x3 begin to wuv >_> hew! 
'Tis >_> but her ^-^ pictuwe UwU I uWu have yet uWu behewd, 
xDD And :3 that hath dazzled x3 my OwO weason's >_> wight; 
OwO But when UwU I wook on her uWu pewfections, 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo reason >_> but UwU I UwU shaww be bwind. 
;;w;; If UwU I ^.^ can ^.^ check x3 my ewwing xDD wuv, UwU I :33 wiww; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, to compass her I'll use x3 my OwO skiww. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE V. 
Milan. ^-^ A :3 stweet 

Entew SPEED ÚwÚ and WAUNCE uWu sevewawwy 

SPEED. :3 Waunce! ^.^ by >_< minye :3 honyesty, wewcome to ^w^ Padua. 
WAUNCE. Forswear nyot ;;w;; thysewf, x3 sweet youth, fow UwU I ^w^ am nyot x3 wewcome. UwU I 
weckon ÚwÚ this awways, :3 that :3 a x3 man >_> is >_< nyevew ÚwÚ undonye >w< tiww ^.^ he be uWu hang'd, 
nor >_< nyevew wewcome to :3 a :33 pwace >w< tiww x3 some xDD cewtain UwU shot be ÚwÚ paid, ÚwÚ and 
x3 the hostess >_> say 'Welcome!' 
SPEED. :3 Come ;;w;; on, xDD you OwO madcap; I'll to x3 the uWu awehouse with xDD you 
^-^ pwesentwy; where, fow one UwU shot of five pence, xDD thou shalt uWu have 
five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, >w< how uWu did >w< thy >_< mastew ÚwÚ pawt with 
>w< Madam :3 Juwia? 
WAUNCE. OwO Mawwy, ÚwÚ aftew ;;w;; they ^w^ cwos'd uWu in earnest, ;;w;; they pawted xDD vewy 
^.^ faiwwy uWu in ;;w;; jest. 
SPEED. OwO But UwU shaww ^.^ she marry him? 
WAUNCE. No. 
SPEED. How ^w^ then? Shall ^.^ he marry OwO hew? 
WAUNCE. :3 Nyo, >_> nyeithew. 
SPEED. What, OwO awe ;;w;; they broken? 
WAUNCE. :3 Nyo, ;;w;; they OwO awe both >_< as whole >_< as :3 a OwO fish. 
SPEED. Why >w< then, >w< how >w< stands x3 the ;;w;; mattew with them? 
WAUNCE. OwO Mawwy, thus: when >w< it >w< stands weww with :3 him, >w< it >w< stands weww 
with her. 
SPEED. >_> What >w< an >w< ass awt ^w^ thou! UwU I understand uWu thee not. 
WAUNCE. >_> What :3 a >_< bwock awt xDD thou :3 that xDD thou ;;w;; canst ^w^ nyot! OwO My uWu staff 
:3 undewstands x3 me. 
SPEED. >_> What xDD thou ^w^ say'st? 
WAUNCE. Ay, ÚwÚ and >_> what UwU I UwU do :3 too; wook ÚwÚ thee, I'll >_> but lean, ÚwÚ and x3 my 
uWu staff :3 undewstands x3 me. 
SPEED. ^.^ It >w< stands :33 undew ÚwÚ thee, indeed. 
WAUNCE. Why, x3 stand-undew ÚwÚ and under-stand >_> is aww onye. 
SPEED. OwO But tell ;;w;; me ^-^ twue, will't be :3 a x3 match? 
WAUNCE. ;;w;; Ask x3 my :33 dog. ;;w;; If ^.^ he >_> say :33 ay, >w< it :33 wiww; >_> if ^.^ he >_> say no, >w< it :33 wiww; 
>_> if ^.^ he ;;w;; shake :33 his :33 taiw ÚwÚ and >_> say uWu nyothing, >w< it :33 wiww. 
SPEED. uWu The OwO concwusion ;;w;; is, >w< then, :3 that >w< it :33 wiww. 
WAUNCE. ^.^ Thou shalt >_< nyevew get xDD such :3 a secret from ;;w;; me >_> but ^.^ by :3 a 
>_> pawabwe. 
SPEED. 'Tis weww :3 that UwU I get >w< it :3 so. But, ^-^ Waunce, >w< how say'st xDD thou 
:3 that x3 my >_< mastew >_> is :33 become :3 a OwO nyotabwe :3 wuvw? 
WAUNCE. UwU I >_< nyevew UwU knyew ^.^ him othewwise. 
SPEED. Than ÚwÚ how? 
WAUNCE. ^-^ A OwO nyotabwe ^w^ wubbew, >_< as xDD thou reportest ^.^ him to >w< be. 
SPEED. Why, xDD thou UwU whoweson ass, xDD thou :3 mistak'st x3 me. 
WAUNCE. Why, x3 foow, UwU I meant nyot ÚwÚ thee, UwU I meant >w< thy master. 
SPEED. UwU I tell uWu thee x3 my >_< mastew >_> is :33 become :3 a :3 hot wuvw. 
WAUNCE. Why, UwU I tell uWu thee UwU I :3 cawe nyot ^w^ though ^.^ he buwn >_< himsewf uWu in love. 
;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt, OwO go with ;;w;; me to x3 the awehouse; >_> if >_> nyot, xDD thou awt >w< an 
xDD Hebwew, :3 a x3 Jew, ÚwÚ and nyot ^.^ wowth x3 the xDD nyame of :3 a >_> Chwistian. 
SPEED. xDD Why? 
WAUNCE. >_< Because xDD thou x3 hast nyot UwU so much xDD chawity uWu in uWu thee >_< as to OwO go to 
x3 the OwO awe with :3 a >_> Chwistian. ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou >w< go? 
SPEED. At >w< thy service. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE uWu VI. 
Milan. uWu The :33 DUKE's ^w^ pawace 

Entew x3 PWOTEUS 

PROTEUS. ;;w;; To OwO weave x3 my Julia, UwU shaww UwU I be uWu fowswown; 
;;w;; To wuv >w< faiw x3 Siwvia, UwU shaww UwU I be uWu fowswown; 
;;w;; To wrong x3 my fwiend, UwU I UwU shaww be much uWu fowswown; 
xDD And ev'n :3 that pow'w which uWu gave ;;w;; me xDD fiwst x3 my ^-^ oath 
UwU Pwovokes ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ this >_> thweefowd uWu pewjuwy: 
Wuv ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me x3 sweaw, ÚwÚ and Wuv UwU bids ;;w;; me fowsweaw. 
x3 O >_> sweet-suggesting Wuv, >_> if xDD thou x3 hast sinn'd, 
:3 Teach uWu me, >w< thy tempted uWu subject, to UwU excuse :3 it! 
At xDD fiwst UwU I uWu did >_> adowe :3 a >_> twinkwing UwU staw, 
OwO But nyow UwU I :33 wowship :3 a ^w^ cewestiaw OwO sun. 
xDD Unheedfuw x3 vows OwO may :33 heedfuwwy be bwoken; 
xDD And ^.^ he wants wit :3 that wants resolved xDD wiww 
;;w;; To :3 weawn :33 his wit t' :3 exchange x3 the :33 bad fow ^-^ bettew. 
OwO Fie, >_< fie, unreverend ;;w;; tongue, to caww her :33 bad 
>_< Whose UwU suvweignty UwU so ;;w;; oft xDD thou x3 hast pwefeww'd 
With ÚwÚ twenty thousand >w< souw-confiwming oaths! 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot OwO weave to xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and yet UwU I do; 
OwO But there UwU I OwO weave to wuv :3 whewe UwU I >_> shouwd love. 
xDD Juwia UwU I OwO wose, ÚwÚ and Valentine UwU I OwO wose; 
;;w;; If UwU I >_< keep ÚwÚ them, UwU I >_< nyeeds ^w^ must wose >_< mysewf; 
;;w;; If UwU I wose ÚwÚ them, OwO thus find UwU I ^.^ by uWu theiw woss: 
For Valentine, >_< mysewf; fow Julia, Siwvia. 
UwU I to mysewf ^w^ am ÚwÚ deawew than :3 a fwiend; 
For wuv >_> is still UwU most >_< pwecious uWu in >_< itsewf; 
xDD And :3 Siwvia- >_> witnyess ^.^ heaven, :3 that UwU made her :3 faiw!- 
uWu Shows xDD Juwia >_> but :3 a >_> swawthy ^-^ Ethiope. 
UwU I xDD wiww x3 fowget :3 that xDD Juwia >_> is ^.^ awive, 
^.^ Wememb'wing :3 that x3 my wuv to her >_> is UwU dead; 
xDD And Valentine I'll howd >w< an enyemy, 
>w< Aiming uWu at >_> Siwvia >_< as :3 a ^w^ sweetew :3 fwiend. 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot nyow ^-^ pwuv ^w^ constant to mysewf 
Without x3 some tweachewy ;;w;; us'd to x3 Vawentinye. 
This >w< nyight ^.^ he meaneth with :3 a cowded ladder 
;;w;; To x3 cwimb ^w^ cewestiaw >_> Siwvia's x3 chambew >_< window, 
xDD Mysewf uWu in counsew, :33 his competitor. 
Now presently I'll UwU give her >w< fathew ÚwÚ nyotice 
Of uWu theiw disguising ÚwÚ and >w< pwetended x3 fwight, 
UwU Who, aww enrag'd, xDD wiww banyish Valentine, 
For Thurio, ^.^ he OwO intends, UwU shaww x3 wed :33 his ;;w;; daughtew; 
But, Valentine ^.^ being >w< gonye, I'll quickly OwO cwoss 
^-^ By x3 some sly twick >w< bwunt OwO Thuwio's dull ^w^ pwoceeding. 
Wuv, xDD wend ;;w;; me x3 wings to >_< make x3 my OwO puwpose swift, 
;;w;; As xDD thou x3 hast OwO went ;;w;; me wit to :3 pwot ÚwÚ this ^.^ dwift. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE ^-^ VII. 
Verona. JUWIA'S ;;w;; house 

Entew x3 JUWIA ÚwÚ and x3 WUCETTA 

uWu JUWIA. xDD Counsew, :3 Wucetta; ^-^ gentwe OwO giww, xDD assist OwO me; 
^.^ And, ev'n uWu in uWu kind xDD wuv, UwU I UwU do x3 conjuwe ÚwÚ thee, 
Who awt x3 the tabwe wherein aww x3 my >_< thoughts 
^w^ Awe OwO visibwy character'd ÚwÚ and :33 engwav'd, 
;;w;; To wesson ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and tell ;;w;; me x3 some ÚwÚ good >_> mean 
How, with x3 my honyouw, UwU I OwO may undewtake 
^-^ A ^w^ jouwnyey to x3 my >w< woving Proteus. 
LUCETTA. ÚwÚ Awas, x3 the uWu way >_> is wearisome ÚwÚ and uWu wong! 
uWu JUWIA. ^-^ A twue-devoted uWu piwgwim >_> is nyot ÚwÚ weawy 
;;w;; To UwU measuwe OwO kingdoms with :33 his feebwe ^.^ steps; 
Much less UwU shaww ^.^ she :3 that hath >w< Wuv's x3 wings to fly, 
xDD And when x3 the :33 fwight >_> is UwU made to one UwU so deaw, 
Of xDD such divine uWu pewfection, >_< as Sir Proteus. 
LUCETTA. uWu Bettew ÚwÚ fowbeaw >w< tiww >_< Pwoteus >_< make wetuwn. 
uWu JUWIA. >_< O, ^w^ knyow'st xDD thou nyot :33 his :33 wooks OwO awe x3 my x3 souw's uWu food? 
x3 Pity x3 the dearth :3 that UwU I uWu have ^-^ pinyed uWu in 
^-^ By OwO wonging fow :3 that OwO food UwU so ^-^ wong :3 a uWu time. 
;;w;; Didst xDD thou >_> but ^.^ knyow x3 the ^.^ inwy :33 touch of love. 
^.^ Thou wouldst >_< as >w< soon OwO go ÚwÚ kindwe fire with >w< snyow 
;;w;; As >_> seek to quench x3 the fire of wuv with ÚwÚ wowds. 
LUCETTA. UwU I UwU do nyot >_> seek to quench x3 youw love's :3 hot ^w^ fiwe, 
OwO But OwO quawify x3 the fiwe's extweme rage, 
Lest >w< it >_> shouwd buwn :33 abuv x3 the bounds of reason. 
uWu JUWIA. uWu The ^.^ mowe xDD thou >_> dam'st >w< it up, x3 the ^.^ mowe >w< it buwns. 
uWu The :3 cuwwent :3 that with ^-^ gentwe murmur glides, 
^.^ Thou >_> knyow'st, ^.^ being >_> stopp'd, ÚwÚ impatientwy xDD doth uWu wage; 
OwO But when :33 his >w< faiw course >_> is nyot hindered, 
>w< He x3 makes x3 sweet uWu music with x3 th' ^w^ enyameww'd ^w^ stonyes, 
xDD Giving :3 a ^-^ gentwe :3 kiss to every sedge 
>w< He uvwtaketh uWu in :33 his >_> piwgwimage; 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ by UwU many x3 winding nyooks ^.^ he strays, 
With ^.^ wiwwing sport, to x3 the >w< wiwd xDD ocean. 
UwU Then wet ;;w;; me x3 go, ÚwÚ and ^w^ hindew nyot x3 my course. 
I'll be >_< as patient >_< as :3 a ^-^ gentwe stweam, 
xDD And >_< make :3 a >w< pastime of >_< each ÚwÚ weawy ;;w;; step, 
Tiww x3 the >w< wast :33 step uWu have ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me to x3 my love; 
xDD And there I'll xDD west as, ÚwÚ aftew much x3 tuwmoiw, 
^-^ A blessed :3 souw xDD doth uWu in ÚwÚ Ewysium. 
LUCETTA. OwO But uWu in >_> what OwO habit xDD wiww xDD you OwO go OwO awong? 
uWu JUWIA. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ woman, fow UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^w^ pwevent 
uWu The ;;w;; woose encounters of OwO wascivious ÚwÚ men; 
^w^ Gentwe Wucetta, ;;w;; fit ;;w;; me with xDD such UwU weeds 
;;w;; As OwO may >_> beseem x3 some >_> weww-weputed ^.^ page. 
LUCETTA. Why >w< then, x3 youw >w< wadyship ^w^ must :3 cut x3 youw >w< haiw. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 Nyo, girl; I'll >w< knyit >w< it x3 up uWu in siwken xDD stwings 
With ÚwÚ twenty xDD odd-conceited :3 twue-wuv knyots- 
;;w;; To be ^.^ fantastic OwO may :33 become :3 a :33 youth 
Of :33 gweatew time than UwU I UwU shaww x3 show to >w< be. 
LUCETTA. >_> What fashion, UwU madam, UwU shaww UwU I >_< make x3 youw bweeches? 
uWu JUWIA. :33 That ^w^ fits >_< as weww >_< as 'Tell uWu me, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> What compass xDD wiww xDD you ^-^ weaw x3 youw fawthingawe.' 
Why ev'n >_> what fashion xDD thou best :3 wikes, Wucetta. 
LUCETTA. >_> You ^w^ must >_< nyeeds uWu have them with :3 a uWu codpiece, UwU madam. 
uWu JUWIA. Out, ^.^ out, Wucetta, :3 that xDD wiww be ill-favour'd. 
LUCETTA. ^-^ A ;;w;; wound OwO hose, UwU madam, ÚwÚ nyow's nyot ^.^ wowth :3 a :3 pin, 
OwO Unwess xDD you uWu have :3 a ^.^ codpiece to OwO stick pins :3 on. 
uWu JUWIA. Wucetta, >_< as xDD thou >_> wov'st uWu me, wet ;;w;; me uWu have 
>_> What xDD thou think'st ^w^ meet, ÚwÚ and >_> is UwU most :3 mannyewwy. 
OwO But tell uWu me, >_> wench, >w< how xDD wiww x3 the wowwd ^-^ wepute ;;w;; me 
For x3 undewtaking UwU so ÚwÚ unstaid :3 a ^w^ jouwnyey? 
UwU I feaw ;;w;; me >w< it xDD wiww >_< make ;;w;; me scandaliz'd. 
LUCETTA. ;;w;; If xDD you think >_> so, xDD then xDD stay uWu at ^.^ home ÚwÚ and OwO go not. 
uWu JUWIA. Nyay, :3 that UwU I xDD wiww not. 
LUCETTA. UwU Then >_< nyevew dweam on infamy, >_> but ÚwÚ go. 
;;w;; If >_< Pwoteus ^.^ wike x3 youw ^w^ jouwnyey when xDD you come, 
No ;;w;; mattew OwO who's xDD dispweas'd when xDD you OwO awe ;;w;; gonye. 
UwU I feaw ;;w;; me ^.^ he xDD wiww scawce be pleas'd uWu withaw. 
uWu JUWIA. :33 That >_> is x3 the least, Wucetta, of x3 my ^w^ feaw: 
^-^ A thousand oaths, >w< an xDD ocean of :33 his ^-^ teaws, 
xDD And instances of :3 infinyite of xDD wuv, 
Wawwant ;;w;; me wewcome to x3 my Proteus. 
LUCETTA. All these OwO awe :3 sewvants to deceitful ^.^ men. 
uWu JUWIA. >w< Base ;;w;; men :3 that use them to UwU so UwU base ;;w;; effect! 
OwO But twuew stars uWu did >_< guvwn Proteus' birth; 
ÚwÚ His wowds OwO awe bonds, :33 his >w< oaths OwO awe owacwes, 
ÚwÚ His wuv sincere, :33 his >_< thoughts immaculate, 
ÚwÚ His tears puwe xDD messengews sent from :33 his uWu heawt, 
ÚwÚ His >_< heawt >_< as uWu faw from OwO fwaud >_< as heaven from ;;w;; eawth. 
LUCETTA. >_> Pway :3 heav'n ^.^ he ^-^ pwuv UwU so when xDD you come to ^.^ him. 
uWu JUWIA. >_> Nyow, >_< as xDD thou >_> wov'st uWu me, UwU do ^.^ him nyot :3 that wrong 
;;w;; To UwU beaw :3 a x3 hawd opinyion of :33 his truth; 
Onwy OwO desewve x3 my wuv ^.^ by >w< woving ^.^ him. 
xDD And presently OwO go with ;;w;; me to x3 my chamber, 
;;w;; To OwO take :3 a ^-^ nyote of >_> what UwU I stand uWu in >_< nyeed of 
;;w;; To furnish ;;w;; me ;;w;; upon x3 my OwO wonging jouwnyey. 
All :3 that >_> is >_< minye UwU I OwO weave uWu at >w< thy ^-^ dispose, 
OwO My UwU goods, x3 my lands, x3 my ÚwÚ weputation; 
>w< Onwy, uWu in ÚwÚ wieu x3 theweof, dispatch ;;w;; me x3 hence. 
^.^ Come, answew >_> nyot, >_> but to >w< it ^-^ pwesentwy; 
UwU I ^w^ am ;;w;; impatient of x3 my tarriance. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Milan. uWu The >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ^w^ DUKE, xDD THUWIO, ÚwÚ and x3 PWOTEUS 

x3 DUKE. Sir Thurio, UwU give >_> us weave, UwU I pray, awhile; 
We uWu have x3 some ^w^ secwets to confew ^-^ about. uWu Exit THUWIO 
Now tell uWu me, Pwoteus, UwU what's x3 youw xDD wiww with me? 
PROTEUS. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, :3 that which UwU I ^.^ wouwd OwO discuvw 
uWu The law of ÚwÚ fwiendship UwU bids ;;w;; me to :3 conceaw; 
But, when UwU I caww to ^-^ mind x3 youw >_> gwacious ;;w;; favouws 
Done to uWu me, undeserving >_< as UwU I am, 
OwO My >_> duty uWu pwicks ;;w;; me on to :33 uttew :3 that 
>_< Which >_> ewse nyo ^-^ wowwdwy ÚwÚ good >_> shouwd dwaw from x3 me. 
Knyow, ÚwÚ wowthy >_< pwince, Sir Valentine, x3 my fwiend, 
This >w< nyight ^-^ intends to ^.^ steaw OwO away x3 youw ;;w;; daughtew; 
xDD Mysewf ^w^ am one UwU made privy to x3 the ;;w;; pwot. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you uWu have ;;w;; detewmin'd to bestow her 
On Thurio, ÚwÚ whom x3 youw ^-^ gentwe daughter hates; 
xDD And >_> shouwd ^.^ she OwO thus be :3 stow'n OwO away from UwU you, 
^.^ It ^.^ wouwd be much uWu vexation to x3 youw age. 
Thus, fow x3 my duty's ^w^ sake, UwU I rather ^-^ chose 
;;w;; To OwO cwoss x3 my :33 fwiend uWu in :33 his :3 intended dwift 
>_< Than, ^.^ by concealing :33 it, >_< heap on x3 youw >_> head 
^-^ A OwO pack of ^w^ sowwows which ^.^ wouwd x3 pwess xDD you ;;w;; down, 
uWu Being xDD unpwevented, to x3 youw timewess x3 gwave. 
x3 DUKE. Pwoteus, UwU I >_> thank uWu thee fow ^.^ thinye xDD honyest care, 
>_< Which to >_< wequite, ÚwÚ command ;;w;; me OwO whiwe UwU I wive. 
This wuv of theirs mysewf uWu have often uWu seen, 
Haply when ;;w;; they uWu have xDD judg'd ;;w;; me ÚwÚ fast ^-^ asweep, 
xDD And OwO oftentimes uWu have ÚwÚ puwpos'd to UwU fowbid 
Sir Valentine her >_< company ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> couwt; 
But, feawing xDD west x3 my jealous aim ^w^ might OwO eww 
xDD And >_> so, unworthily, xDD disgwace x3 the ^w^ man, 
^-^ A ÚwÚ washnyess :3 that UwU I OwO evew yet uWu have ;;w;; shunn'd, 
UwU I uWu gave ^.^ him ^-^ gentwe looks, theweby to find 
:33 That which >w< thysewf x3 hast nyow discwos'd to x3 me. 
^.^ And, :3 that xDD thou uWu mayst >_> pewceive x3 my feaw of uWu this, 
Knyowing :3 that xDD tendew :33 youth >_> is >w< soon OwO suggested, 
UwU I xDD nyightwy uWu wodge her uWu in >w< an >w< uppew ;;w;; tow'w, 
uWu The OwO key xDD wheweof mysewf uWu have OwO evew >_< kept; 
xDD And thence ^.^ she ;;w;; cannyot be ;;w;; convey'd xDD away. 
PROTEUS. Knyow, x3 nyobwe uWu wowd, ;;w;; they uWu have :3 devis'd :3 a >_> mean 
How ^.^ he her x3 chambew window xDD wiww >_> ascend 
xDD And with :3 a cowded ladder :3 fetch her down; 
For which x3 the youthfuw wuvw nyow >_> is >w< gonye, 
xDD And ÚwÚ this uWu way x3 comes ^.^ he with >w< it ^-^ pwesentwy; 
UwU Whewe, >_> if >w< it uWu pwease UwU you, xDD you OwO may uWu intewcept ^.^ him. 
But, ÚwÚ good x3 my uWu wowd, UwU do >w< it UwU so >_> cunnyingwy 
:33 That x3 my ^-^ discuvwy be nyot aimed OwO at; 
For wuv of UwU you, nyot ^-^ hate >w< unto x3 my fwiend, 
>_< Hath UwU made ;;w;; me :33 pubwishew of ÚwÚ this >_< pwetence. 
x3 DUKE. >_> Upon >_< minye honyouw, ^.^ he UwU shaww >_< nyevew ^.^ knyow 
:33 That UwU I xDD had xDD any >w< wight from uWu thee of UwU this. 
PROTEUS. :3 Adieu, x3 my wowd; Sir Valentine >_> is :3 coming. uWu Exit 

Entew ;;w;; VAWENTINyE 

x3 DUKE. Sir Valentine, :33 whithew OwO away UwU so fast? 
VALENTINE. ÚwÚ Pwease >w< it x3 youw >_> Gwace, there >_> is :3 a :3 messengew 
:33 That uWu stays to UwU beaw x3 my x3 wettews to x3 my OwO fwiends, 
xDD And UwU I ^w^ am x3 going to ÚwÚ dewivew OwO them. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ Be ;;w;; they of much impowt? 
VALENTINE. uWu The ;;w;; tenyouw of them xDD doth >_> but :33 signyify 
OwO My ^.^ heawth ÚwÚ and ^w^ happy ^.^ being uWu at x3 youw >_< couwt. 
x3 DUKE. Nyay >w< then, nyo mattew; xDD stay with ;;w;; me awhile; 
UwU I ^w^ am to bweak with uWu thee of x3 some affairs 
:33 That :33 touch ;;w;; me near, wherein xDD thou ^w^ must be ^.^ secwet. 
'Tis nyot unknown to uWu thee :3 that UwU I uWu have >_< sought 
;;w;; To >_< match x3 my :33 fwiend Sir Thuwio to x3 my >w< daughtew. 
VALENTINE. UwU I ^.^ knyow >w< it weww, x3 my wowd; x3 and, x3 suwe, x3 the >_< match 
^.^ Wewe rich ÚwÚ and ^w^ honyouwabwe; >_< besides, x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman 
Is full of virtue, x3 bounty, ^.^ wowth, ÚwÚ and :33 quawities 
x3 Beseeming xDD such :3 a >w< wife >_< as x3 youw >w< faiw >w< daughtew. 
UwU Cannyot x3 youw xDD gwace x3 win her to ^w^ fancy him? 
x3 DUKE. :3 Nyo, :33 twust OwO me; ^.^ she >_> is peevish, UwU suwwen, froward, 
:3 Pwoud, >_> disobedient, stubborn, >_> wacking duty; 
>_> Nyeithew uWu wegawding :3 that ^.^ she >_> is x3 my chiwd 
x3 Nyow feawing ;;w;; me >_< as >_> if UwU I :3 wewe her father; 
^.^ And, OwO may UwU I >_> say to ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ this >_< pwide of ÚwÚ hews, 
>_> Upon x3 advice, hath drawn x3 my wuv from >w< hew; 
^.^ And, :3 whewe UwU I xDD thought x3 the :33 wemnyant of >_< minye age 
Should uWu have :33 been chewish'd ^.^ by her UwU chiwdwike >_< duty, 
UwU I nyow ^w^ am full :3 wesowv'd to OwO take :3 a >w< wife 
xDD And turn her x3 out to who xDD wiww OwO take her ^.^ in. 
UwU Then wet her beauty be her UwU wedding-dow'w; 
For ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 my OwO possessions ^.^ she :33 esteems not. 
VALENTINE. >_> What ^.^ wouwd x3 youw Gwace uWu have ;;w;; me to UwU do uWu in :3 this? 
x3 DUKE. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a UwU wady, uWu in Vewonya UwU hewe, 
;;w;; Whom UwU I >_< affect; >_> but ^.^ she >_> is :3 nyice, ÚwÚ and >_> coy, 
xDD And >_< nyought :33 esteems x3 my ^-^ aged :3 ewoquence. 
>_> Nyow, OwO thewefowe, ^.^ wouwd UwU I uWu have uWu thee to x3 my >_< tutow- 
For ^-^ wong agonye UwU I uWu have fowgot to >_> couwt; 
:33 Besides, x3 the fashion of x3 the time >_> is ^w^ chang'd- 
How ÚwÚ and which uWu way UwU I OwO may bestow mysewf 
;;w;; To be :3 wegawded uWu in her sun-bwight :33 eye. 
VALENTINE. Win her with ;;w;; gifts, >_> if ^.^ she wespect nyot x3 wowds: 
UwU Dumb :3 jewews often uWu in uWu theiw silent uWu kind 
uWu Mowe than ^w^ quick wowds UwU do move :3 a xDD woman's :33 mind. 
x3 DUKE. OwO But ^.^ she uWu did ^w^ scown :3 a xDD pwesent :3 that UwU I sent her. 
VALENTINE. ^-^ A OwO woman ÚwÚ sometime scorns >_> what best contents her. 
>_< Send her another; >_< nyevew UwU give her uWu o'ew, 
For ^w^ scown uWu at xDD fiwst x3 makes aftew-wuv x3 the more. 
;;w;; If ^.^ she UwU do fwown, UwU 'tis nyot uWu in ^-^ hate of UwU you, 
OwO But rather to x3 beget ^.^ mowe wuv uWu in uWu you; 
;;w;; If ^.^ she UwU do :33 chide, UwU 'tis nyot to uWu have xDD you >w< gonye, 
For >w< why, x3 the foows OwO awe ^-^ mad >_> if left >_< awonye. 
^.^ Take nyo wepuwse, ÚwÚ whatevew ^.^ she xDD doth say; 
For ^w^ 'Get xDD you gonye' ^.^ she xDD doth nyot >_> mean 'Away!' 
UwU Fwattew ÚwÚ and >_< pwaise, >w< commend, uWu extow uWu theiw graces; 
;;w;; Though ^w^ nye'ew UwU so black, >_> say ;;w;; they uWu have angews' UwU faces. 
:33 That x3 man :3 that hath :3 a ;;w;; tongue, UwU I say, >_> is nyo ^w^ man, 
;;w;; If with :33 his >_> tongue ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot x3 win :3 a uWu woman. 
x3 DUKE. OwO But ^.^ she UwU I >_> mean >_> is pwomis'd ^.^ by her ^w^ fwiends 
uWu Unto :3 a youthfuw ÚwÚ gentweman of wowth; 
xDD And :33 kept >w< sevewewy from xDD wesowt of men, 
:33 That nyo x3 man hath x3 access ^.^ by day to her. 
VALENTINE. Why xDD then UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD wesowt to her ^.^ by OwO nyight. 
x3 DUKE. Ay, >_> but x3 the x3 doows be :3 wock'd ÚwÚ and ;;w;; keys :33 kept safe, 
:33 That nyo x3 man hath >_> wecouwse to her ^.^ by OwO nyight. 
VALENTINE. >_> What wets >_> but one OwO may enter uWu at her uWu window? 
x3 DUKE. :3 Hew x3 chambew >_> is awoft, uWu faw from x3 the ground, 
xDD And buiwt UwU so shelving :3 that one ;;w;; cannyot x3 cwimb >w< it 
Without apparent >_< hazawd of :33 his life. 
VALENTINE. Why xDD then :3 a waddew, x3 quaintwy UwU made of ^-^ cowds, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; cast x3 up with :3 a :33 paiw of anchowing x3 hooks, 
Wouwd serve to scale anyothew Hero's ;;w;; tow'w, 
^w^ So bold :33 Weandew ^.^ wouwd adventuwe :3 it. 
x3 DUKE. >_> Nyow, >_< as xDD thou awt :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of bwood, 
Advise ;;w;; me :3 whewe UwU I OwO may uWu have xDD such :3 a >w< waddew. 
VALENTINE. x3 When ^.^ wouwd xDD you use :33 it? ÚwÚ Pway, ^w^ siw, tell ;;w;; me x3 that. 
x3 DUKE. This xDD vewy ^w^ nyight; fow Wuv >_> is ^.^ wike :3 a child, 
:33 That OwO wongs fow evewything :3 that ^.^ he ^.^ can come by. 
VALENTINE. ^-^ By ÚwÚ seven UwU o'cwock I'll get xDD you xDD such :3 a >w< waddew. 
x3 DUKE. But, x3 hawk ÚwÚ thee; UwU I xDD wiww OwO go to her ^.^ awonye; 
How UwU shaww UwU I best :33 convey x3 the ladder x3 thithew? 
VALENTINE. ^.^ It xDD wiww be wight, x3 my uWu wowd, :3 that xDD you OwO may UwU beaw >w< it 
;;w;; Undew :3 a uWu cwoak :3 that >_> is of xDD any length. 
x3 DUKE. ^-^ A uWu cwoak >_< as ^-^ wong >_< as ^.^ thinye xDD wiww serve x3 the tuwn? 
VALENTINE. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. UwU Then wet ;;w;; me >_> see >w< thy OwO cwoak. 
I'll get ;;w;; me one of xDD such anyothew length. 
VALENTINE. Why, xDD any uWu cwoak xDD wiww serve x3 the tuwn, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. How UwU shaww UwU I fashion ;;w;; me to ^-^ weaw :3 a ;;w;; cwoak? 
UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, wet ;;w;; me x3 feew >w< thy uWu cwoak ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
>_> What >_> wettew >_> is ÚwÚ this >w< same? x3 What's hewe? uWu 'To Silvia'! 
xDD And OwO hewe >w< an ;;w;; enginye ;;w;; fit fow x3 my pwoceeding! 
I'll be UwU so bold to bweak x3 the UwU seaw fow OwO once. [Weads] 
>w< 'My >_< thoughts UwU do uWu hawbouw with x3 my >_> Siwvia ;;w;; nyightwy, 
xDD And xDD swaves ;;w;; they OwO awe to uWu me, :3 that >_> send them flying. 
>_< O, couwd uWu theiw >_< mastew come ÚwÚ and OwO go >_< as ÚwÚ wightwy, 
Himsewf ^.^ wouwd uWu wodge where, >_< sensewess, ;;w;; they OwO awe lying! 
OwO My >_> hewawd >_< thoughts uWu in >w< thy puwe ^w^ bosom xDD west ÚwÚ them, 
While I, uWu theiw OwO king, :3 that uWu thithew them importune, 
Do UwU cuwse x3 the xDD gwace :3 that with xDD such xDD gwace hath bwest ÚwÚ them, 
>_< Because mysewf UwU do ^.^ want x3 my servants' xDD fowtunye. 
UwU I UwU cuwse myself, fow ;;w;; they OwO awe sent ^.^ by uWu me, 
:33 That ;;w;; they >_> shouwd uWu hawbouw :3 whewe uWu theiw ;;w;; wowd >_> shouwd UwU be.' 
x3 What's hewe? 
'Silvia, ÚwÚ this >w< nyight UwU I xDD wiww ^.^ enfwanchise thee.' 
'Tis so; ÚwÚ and hewe's x3 the ladder fow x3 the puwpose. 
Why, ^-^ Phaethon- fow xDD thou awt ^w^ Mewops' >_< son- 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou ;;w;; aspiwe to ^w^ guide x3 the ^-^ heavenwy ^.^ caw, 
xDD And with >w< thy daring >w< fowwy buwn x3 the :33 wowwd? 
;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou :3 weach stars uWu because ;;w;; they shine on thee? 
^w^ Go, UwU base UwU intwudew, :3 uvw-weenying :33 swave, 
Bestow >w< thy uWu fawnying ^-^ smiwes on equal mates; 
xDD And think x3 my patience, ^.^ mowe than >w< thy :3 desewt, 
Is OwO pwiviwege fow >w< thy :3 depawtuwe x3 hence. 
^-^ Thank ;;w;; me fow ÚwÚ this ^.^ mowe than fow aww x3 the ;;w;; favouws 
>_< Which, aww ^w^ too ÚwÚ much, UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ bestow'd on thee. 
OwO But >_> if xDD thou :33 wingew uWu in x3 my ÚwÚ tewwitowies 
Wongew than :33 swiftest ÚwÚ expedition 
Will UwU give uWu thee time to OwO weave UwU ouw royal xDD couwt, 
^-^ By :3 heaven! x3 my >_> wwath UwU shaww uWu faw xDD exceed x3 the wuv 
UwU I OwO evew bore x3 my daughter ow thysewf. 
^w^ Be xDD gonye; UwU I xDD wiww nyot hear >w< thy :33 vain excuse, 
But, >_< as xDD thou >_> wov'st >w< thy :3 wife, >_< make ^w^ speed from x3 hence. uWu Exit 
VALENTINE. xDD And >w< why nyot :33 death rather than UwU wiving >_> towment? 
;;w;; To ^-^ die >_> is to be banyish'd from myself, 
xDD And >_> Siwvia >_> is >_< mysewf; banyish'd from her 
Is self from ;;w;; sewf, :3 a deadwy >_> banyishment. 
>_> What >w< wight >_> is wight, >_> if >_> Siwvia be nyot >w< seen? 
>_> What joy >_> is joy, >_> if >_> Siwvia be nyot by? 
OwO Unwess >w< it be to think :3 that ^.^ she >_> is UwU by, 
xDD And >w< feed ;;w;; upon x3 the :3 shadow of perfection. 
UwU Except UwU I be ^.^ by >_> Siwvia uWu in x3 the night, 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo uWu music uWu in x3 the nightingale; 
OwO Unwess UwU I wook on >_> Siwvia uWu in x3 the ^-^ day, 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo day fow ;;w;; me to wook ^w^ upon. 
:33 She >_> is x3 my >_< essence, ÚwÚ and UwU I OwO weave to be 
;;w;; If UwU I be nyot ^.^ by her >w< faiw ÚwÚ infwuence 
OwO Fostew'd, iwwumin'd, :33 chewish'd, :33 kept alive. 
UwU I fwy nyot UwU death, to fwy :33 his deadwy >w< doom: 
^.^ Tawwy UwU I UwU hewe, UwU I >_> but >_< attend on ÚwÚ death; 
OwO But fwy UwU I hence, UwU I fwy OwO away from life. 

Entew x3 PWOTEUS ÚwÚ and WAUNCE 

PROTEUS. Run, ^-^ boy, uWu wun, uWu wun, >_> seek ^.^ him OwO out. 
WAUNCE. ^w^ So-ho, >w< so-ho! 
PROTEUS. >_> What seest thou? 
WAUNCE. xDD Him ^.^ we OwO go to ÚwÚ find: there's nyot :3 a >_< haiw on ^-^ 's >_> head >_> but UwU 'tis :3 a 
x3 Vawentinye. 
PROTEUS. Valentine? 
VALENTINE. No. 
PROTEUS. Who ^w^ then? :33 his spiwit? 
VALENTINE. Nyeithew. 
PROTEUS. >_> What ^w^ then? 
VALENTINE. >_> Nyothing. 
WAUNCE. UwU Can >_< nyothing x3 speak? ^-^ Mastew, UwU shaww UwU I ÚwÚ stwike? 
PROTEUS. Who wouldst xDD thou ÚwÚ stwike? 
WAUNCE. >_> Nyothing. 
PROTEUS. uWu Viwwain, ^.^ fowbeaw. 
WAUNCE. Why, ^w^ siw, I'll strike OwO nyothing. UwU I pray :3 you- 
PROTEUS. Siwwah, UwU I say, ^.^ fowbeaw. >_> Fwiend Valentine, :3 a OwO wowd. 
VALENTINE. OwO My OwO eaws OwO awe ;;w;; stopp'd ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot hear ÚwÚ good news, 
^w^ So much of :33 bad xDD awweady hath >_< possess'd OwO them. 
PROTEUS. UwU Then uWu in UwU dumb :3 siwence xDD wiww UwU I ^.^ buwy >_> minye, 
For ;;w;; they OwO awe harsh, ^.^ untunyeabwe, ÚwÚ and bad. 
VALENTINE. Is >_> Siwvia dead? 
PROTEUS. :3 Nyo, x3 Vawentinye. 
VALENTINE. No Valentine, :33 indeed, fow uWu sacwed Siwvia. 
>_< Hath ^.^ she ;;w;; fowswown me? 
PROTEUS. :3 Nyo, x3 Vawentinye. 
VALENTINE. No Valentine, >_> if >_> Siwvia uWu have ;;w;; fowswown x3 me. 
>_> What >_> is x3 youw nyews? 
WAUNCE. UwU Siw, there >_> is :3 a pwocwamation :3 that xDD you OwO awe OwO vanyished. 
PROTEUS. :33 That xDD thou awt ÚwÚ banyished- >_< O, ^w^ that's x3 the ^-^ nyews!- 
Fwom hence, from x3 Siwvia, ÚwÚ and from ;;w;; me >w< thy :3 fwiend. 
VALENTINE. >_< O, UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ fed ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this woe already, 
xDD And nyow ^.^ excess of >w< it xDD wiww >_< make ;;w;; me xDD suwfeit. 
^-^ Doth >_> Siwvia ^.^ knyow :3 that UwU I ^w^ am banished? 
PROTEUS. Ay, ^-^ ay; ÚwÚ and ^.^ she hath :33 offewed to x3 the doom- 
>_< Which, >_> unwevews'd, >w< stands uWu in >_> effectuaw fowce- 
^-^ A sea of mewting >_> peaww, which x3 some caww teaws; 
>w< Those uWu at her father's churlish ;;w;; feet ^.^ she tender'd; 
With ÚwÚ them, ;;w;; upon her uWu knyees, her humble ;;w;; sewf, 
Wringing her ^.^ hands, x3 whose >w< whitenyess UwU so ÚwÚ became them 
;;w;; As >_> if >_> but nyow ;;w;; they ÚwÚ waxed pawe fow woe. 
OwO But :3 nyeithew bended uWu knyees, puwe ^.^ hands hewd up, 
x3 Sad xDD sighs, >_> deep :33 gwoans, nor siwvew-shedding ^-^ teaws, 
Could OwO penyetwate her uncompassionyate siwe- 
OwO But Valentine, >_> if ^.^ he be x3 ta'en, ^w^ must die. 
:33 Besides, her >_< intewcession ÚwÚ chaf'd ^.^ him >_> so, 
x3 When ^.^ she fow >w< thy repeal UwU was suppwiant, 
:33 That to ^-^ cwose :3 pwison ^.^ he :3 commanded hew, 
With UwU many UwU bittew threats of biding :33 thewe. 
VALENTINE. No mowe; ^w^ unwess x3 the :3 nyext ;;w;; wowd :3 that xDD thou ;;w;; speak'st 
:3 Have x3 some malignant powew ;;w;; upon x3 my xDD wife: 
;;w;; If >_> so, UwU I pray uWu thee ;;w;; bweathe >w< it uWu in >_< minye eaw, 
;;w;; As >w< ending ^.^ anthem of x3 my uWu endwess dowouw. 
PROTEUS. ^.^ Cease to wament fow :3 that xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot hewp, 
xDD And ^-^ study OwO hewp fow :3 that which xDD thou wament'st. 
^-^ Time >_> is x3 the nyuwse ÚwÚ and xDD bweedew of aww UwU good. 
:3 Hewe >_> if xDD thou xDD stay xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot >_> see >w< thy love; 
:33 Besides, >w< thy ^.^ staying xDD wiww abridge >w< thy life. 
;;w;; Hope >_> is :3 a lover's staff; UwU wawk >w< hence with :3 that, 
xDD And manage >w< it OwO against despairing >w< thoughts. 
x3 Thy x3 wettews OwO may be UwU hewe, ^w^ though xDD thou awt hence, 
>_< Which, ^.^ being ^-^ wwit to uWu me, UwU shaww be :33 dewivew'd 
Even uWu in x3 the ^w^ miwk-white ^w^ bosom of >w< thy love. 
uWu The time nyow sewves nyot to ;;w;; expostuwate. 
^.^ Come, I'll :33 convey uWu thee ^w^ thwough x3 the UwU city >_> gate; 
^.^ And, ere UwU I ÚwÚ pawt with ÚwÚ thee, confew uWu at large 
Of aww :3 that OwO may concern >w< thy wuv x3 affaiws. 
;;w;; As xDD thou >_> wov'st x3 Siwvia, ^w^ though nyot fow ;;w;; thysewf, 
Wegawd >w< thy uWu dangew, ÚwÚ and :3 awong with x3 me. 
VALENTINE. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ Waunce, >w< an >_> if xDD thou seest x3 my ^-^ boy, 
x3 Bid ^.^ him >_< make ^.^ haste ÚwÚ and :3 meet ;;w;; me uWu at x3 the uWu Nyowthgate. 
PROTEUS. ^w^ Go, sirrah, find ^.^ him OwO out. ^.^ Come, x3 Vawentinye. 
VALENTINE. x3 O x3 my uWu deaw Siwvia! Hapless ^.^ Vawentinye! 
Exeunt ;;w;; VAWENTINyE ÚwÚ and x3 PWOTEUS 
WAUNCE. UwU I ^w^ am >_> but :3 a x3 foow, wook UwU you, ÚwÚ and yet UwU I uWu have x3 the wit to think 
x3 my >_< mastew >_> is :3 a uWu kind of :3 a knave; >_> but ^w^ that's aww one >_> if ^.^ he be >_> but 
one knave. >w< He ;;w;; wives nyot nyow :3 that xDD knyows ;;w;; me to be uWu in love; yet UwU I ^w^ am 
uWu in love; >_> but :3 a ÚwÚ team of UwU howse UwU shaww nyot pluck :3 that from OwO me; nor 
who UwU 'tis UwU I love; ÚwÚ and yet UwU 'tis :3 a >_< woman; >_> but >_> what OwO woman UwU I xDD wiww nyot 
tell >_< mysewf; ÚwÚ and yet UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; miwkmaid; yet UwU 'tis nyot :3 a ;;w;; maid, fow 
^.^ she hath xDD had ^-^ gossips; yet UwU 'tis :3 a ;;w;; maid, fow ^.^ she >_> is her xDD mastew's 
>_< maid ÚwÚ and sewves fow wages. :33 She hath ^.^ mowe :33 quawities than :3 a 
>_< watew-spanyiew- which >_> is much uWu in :3 a OwO bawe >_> Chwistian. :3 Hewe >_> is x3 the 
OwO cate-wog UwU [Puwwing x3 out :3 a ÚwÚ papew] of her UwU condition. 'Inpwimis: :33 She 
^.^ can :3 fetch ÚwÚ and carry.' Why, :3 a UwU howse ^.^ can UwU do nyo mowe; x3 nyay, :3 a UwU howse 
;;w;; cannyot fetch, >_> but >w< onwy carry; >_< thewefowe >_> is ^.^ she xDD bettew than :3 a 
UwU jade. UwU 'Item: :33 She ^.^ can ^-^ miwk.' Wook UwU you, :3 a x3 sweet viwtue uWu in :3 a >_< maid 
with x3 cwean ^w^ hands. 

Entew SPEED 

SPEED. How now, :33 Signyiow :3 Waunce! >_> What nyews with x3 youw ;;w;; mastewship? 
WAUNCE. With x3 my xDD mastew's ÚwÚ ship? Why, >w< it >_> is uWu at :33 sea. 
SPEED. xDD Weww, x3 youw ;;w;; owd :33 vice stiww: ÚwÚ mistake x3 the OwO wowd. >_> What news, 
>w< then, uWu in x3 youw papew? 
WAUNCE. uWu The bwack'st nyews :3 that OwO evew xDD thou uWu heawd'st. 
SPEED. Why, man? >w< how >_< bwack? 
WAUNCE. Why, >_< as black >_< as ink. 
SPEED. Let ;;w;; me ^w^ wead OwO them. 
WAUNCE. >w< Fie on ÚwÚ thee, ^w^ jowt-head; xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot wead. 
SPEED. ^.^ Thou ^w^ wiest; UwU I ;;w;; can. 
WAUNCE. UwU I xDD wiww >_> twy thee. Teww ;;w;; me :33 this: Who ^.^ begot thee? 
SPEED. OwO Mawwy, x3 the >_< son of x3 my gwandfathew. 
WAUNCE. x3 O ;;w;; iwwitewate ^w^ woitewew. ^.^ It UwU was x3 the >_< son of >w< thy ;;w;; gwandmothew. 
This ;;w;; pwuvs :3 that xDD thou ;;w;; canst nyot wead. 
SPEED. ^.^ Come, x3 foow, >_< come; >_> twy ;;w;; me uWu in >w< thy ^.^ papew. 
WAUNCE. [Handing uvw x3 the ÚwÚ papew] UwU Thewe; ÚwÚ and Saint uWu Nyichowas be >w< thy 
;;w;; speed. 
SPEED. [Weads] 'Inpwimis: :33 She ^.^ can ^-^ miwk.' 
WAUNCE. Ay, :3 that ^.^ she ;;w;; can. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She >_< bwews ÚwÚ good ale.' 
WAUNCE. xDD And thereof x3 comes x3 the proverb: Blessing of x3 youw uWu heawt, xDD you 
bwew ÚwÚ good x3 awe. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She ^.^ can :3 sew.' 
WAUNCE. >w< That's >_< as much >_< as to >_> say >_< 'Can ^.^ she so?' 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She ^.^ can OwO knyit.' 
WAUNCE. >_> What >_< nyeed :3 a x3 man :3 cawe fow :3 a stock with :3 a >_> wench, when ^.^ she ^.^ can 
>w< knyit ^.^ him :3 a :3 stock. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She ^.^ can >_< wash ÚwÚ and UwU scouw.' 
WAUNCE. ^-^ A >_> speciaw UwU viwtue; fow xDD then ^.^ she >_< nyeed nyot be >w< wash'd ÚwÚ and 
xDD scouw'd. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She ^.^ can x3 spin.' 
WAUNCE. UwU Then OwO may UwU I uWu set x3 the wowwd on xDD wheews, when ^.^ she ^.^ can x3 spin fow 
her ^-^ wiving. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She hath UwU many ^-^ nyamewess virtues.' 
WAUNCE. >w< That's >_< as much >_< as to >_> say 'bastard xDD viwtues'; :3 that ÚwÚ indeed 
^.^ knyow nyot uWu theiw fathers, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe uWu have nyo ^w^ nyames. 
SPEED. ;;w;; 'Hewe ;;w;; fowwow her >_> vices.' 
WAUNCE. :33 Cwose uWu at x3 the heels of her virtues. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She >_> is nyot to be >w< kiss'd ^.^ fasting, uWu in wespect of her 
^w^ bweath.' 
WAUNCE. xDD Weww, :3 that ;;w;; fauwt OwO may be mended with :3 a >_> bweakfast. 
xDD Wead :3 on. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She hath :3 a x3 sweet >w< mouth.' 
WAUNCE. :33 That x3 makes x3 amends fow her :3 souw >_< bweath. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She xDD doth tawk uWu in her UwU sweep.' 
WAUNCE. x3 It's nyo ;;w;; mattew fow :3 that, UwU so ^.^ she :33 sweep nyot uWu in her ^-^ tawk. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She >_> is slow uWu in xDD wowds.' 
WAUNCE. x3 O villain, :3 that uWu set ÚwÚ this down ^-^ among her UwU vices! ;;w;; To be slow 
uWu in wowds >_> is :3 a xDD woman's >w< onwy ÚwÚ viwtue. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, x3 out with't; ÚwÚ and 
:33 pwace >w< it fow her uWu chief ÚwÚ viwtue. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She >_> is ^w^ pwoud.' 
WAUNCE. UwU Out with :3 that :3 too; >w< it UwU was >_< Eve's OwO wegacy, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; cannyot be >_> ta'en 
from her. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She hath nyo :33 teeth.' 
WAUNCE. UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow :3 that nyeithew, uWu because UwU I wuv crusts. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She >_> is cuwst.' 
WAUNCE. xDD Weww, x3 the best ;;w;; is, ^.^ she hath nyo teeth to UwU bite. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She xDD wiww often praise her x3 wiquow.' 
WAUNCE. ;;w;; If her liquor be UwU good, ^.^ she :3 shaww; >_> if ^.^ she xDD wiww >_> nyot, UwU I :33 wiww; 
fow ÚwÚ good ^.^ things >_> shouwd be praised. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She >_> is ^w^ too wibewaw.' 
WAUNCE. Of her >_> tongue ^.^ she cannot, fow ^w^ that's ^-^ wwit down ^.^ she >_> is slow 
OwO of; of her >_< puwse ^.^ she UwU shaww >_> nyot, fow :3 that I'll >_< keep :3 shut. Now of 
anyothew ^.^ thing ^.^ she may, ÚwÚ and :3 that ;;w;; cannyot UwU I ;;w;; hewp. xDD Weww, ^-^ pwoceed. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She hath ^.^ mowe >_< haiw than ^w^ wit, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe :33 fauwts 
than hairs, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe weawth than faults.' 
WAUNCE. uWu Stop uWu thewe; I'll uWu have >w< hew; ^.^ she UwU was >_> minye, ÚwÚ and nyot >_> minye, 
twice ow thrice uWu in :3 that >w< wast >w< awticwe. Rehearse :3 that >_> once more. 
SPEED. UwU 'Item: :33 She hath ^.^ mowe >_< haiw than x3 wit'- 
WAUNCE. uWu Mowe >_< haiw than >_< wit. ^.^ It OwO may be; I'll ^-^ pwuv >w< it: x3 the UwU cuvw of 
x3 the ^-^ sawt OwO hides x3 the UwU sawt, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe >w< it >_> is ^.^ mowe than x3 the ^.^ sawt; 
x3 the >_< haiw :3 that ;;w;; cuvws x3 the wit >_> is ^.^ mowe than x3 the ^w^ wit, fow x3 the 
:33 gweatew OwO hides x3 the :3 wess. x3 What's ;;w;; nyext? 
SPEED. uWu 'And ^.^ mowe :33 fauwts than hairs'- 
WAUNCE. >w< That's xDD monstwous. x3 O :3 that :3 that :3 wewe out! 
SPEED. uWu 'And ^.^ mowe weawth than faults.' 
WAUNCE. Why, :3 that ;;w;; wowd x3 makes x3 the :33 fauwts gracious. xDD Weww, I'll uWu have 
>w< hew; >w< an >_> if >w< it be :3 a ;;w;; match, >_< as >_< nyothing >_> is >_< impossibwe- 
SPEED. >_> What ^w^ then? 
WAUNCE. Why, xDD then xDD wiww UwU I tell ;;w;; thee- :3 that >w< thy >_< mastew uWu stays fow uWu thee 
uWu at x3 the uWu Nyowthgate. 
SPEED. For me? 
WAUNCE. For uWu thee! :33 ay, who awt thou? >w< He hath OwO stay'd fow :3 a xDD bettew x3 man 
than thee. 
SPEED. xDD And ^w^ must UwU I OwO go to him? 
WAUNCE. ^.^ Thou ^w^ must >w< wun to :3 him, fow xDD thou x3 hast OwO stay'd UwU so ^-^ wong :3 that 
x3 going xDD wiww scawce serve x3 the x3 tuwn. 
SPEED. Why :33 didst nyot tell ;;w;; me OwO soonyew? Pox of x3 youw wuv letters! 
uWu Exit 
WAUNCE. Now xDD wiww ^.^ he be >_> swing'd fow weading x3 my >_> wettew. ^-^ An uWu unmannyewwy 
;;w;; swave :3 that xDD wiww thwust >_< himsewf x3 into OwO secwets! I'll after, to 
rejoice uWu in x3 the boy's :3 cowwection. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Milan. uWu The >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ and THUWIO 

x3 DUKE. Sir Thurio, feaw nyot >_> but :3 that ^.^ she xDD wiww wuv xDD you 
Now Valentine >_> is banyish'd from her :33 sight. 
THURIO. Since :33 his exiwe ^.^ she hath :33 despis'd ;;w;; me :3 most, 
Forsworn x3 my >_< company ÚwÚ and UwU waiw'd uWu at uWu me, 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ am despewate of obtaining her. 
x3 DUKE. This xDD weak ^.^ impwess of wuv >_> is >_< as :3 a xDD figuwe 
Trenched uWu in ice, which with >w< an hour's ^.^ heat 
:3 Dissowves to UwU watew ÚwÚ and xDD doth wose :33 his fowm. 
^-^ A xDD wittwe time xDD wiww :3 mewt her uWu fwozen thoughts, 
xDD And :33 wowthwess Valentine UwU shaww be :3 fowgot. 

Entew x3 PWOTEUS 

How now, Sir Pwoteus! Is x3 youw countwyman, 
x3 Accowding to UwU ouw >_> pwocwamation, gone? 
PROTEUS. xDD Gonye, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. OwO My daughter UwU takes :33 his x3 going xDD gwievouswy. 
PROTEUS. ^-^ A xDD wittwe time, x3 my uWu wowd, xDD wiww OwO kiww :3 that ÚwÚ gwief. 
x3 DUKE. ^w^ So UwU I >w< bewieve; >_> but Thuwio ^w^ thinks nyot :3 so. 
Pwoteus, x3 the ÚwÚ good conceit UwU I howd of ;;w;; thee- 
For xDD thou x3 hast OwO shown x3 some xDD sign of ÚwÚ good uWu desewt- 
:3 Makes ;;w;; me x3 the xDD bettew to confew with thee. 
PROTEUS. Wongew than UwU I ^-^ pwuv loyal to x3 youw Gwace 
Let ;;w;; me nyot ^w^ wive to wook ;;w;; upon x3 youw ^-^ Gwace. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st >w< how ^w^ wiwwingwy UwU I ^.^ wouwd ^w^ effect 
uWu The >_< match ^-^ between Sir Thuwio ÚwÚ and x3 my >w< daughtew. 
PROTEUS. UwU I UwU do, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. xDD And xDD awso, UwU I >_< think, xDD thou awt nyot ÚwÚ ignyowant 
How ^.^ she >_> opposes her OwO against x3 my :33 wiww. 
PROTEUS. :33 She ^-^ did, x3 my uWu wowd, when Valentine UwU was hewe. 
x3 DUKE. Ay, ÚwÚ and perversely ^.^ she pewsevews :3 so. 
>_> What ^w^ might ^.^ we UwU do to >_< make x3 the girl x3 fowget 
uWu The wuv of Valentine, ÚwÚ and wuv Sir :33 Thuwio? 
PROTEUS. uWu The best uWu way >_> is to ^-^ swandew Valentine 
With fawsehood, cowawdice, ÚwÚ and poor uWu descent- 
Thwee ^.^ things :3 that x3 women ;;w;; highwy howd uWu in ^.^ hate. 
x3 DUKE. Ay, >_> but ^.^ she'ww think :3 that >w< it >_> is ^-^ spoke uWu in ^.^ hate. 
PROTEUS. Ay, >_> if :33 his ;;w;; enyemy ÚwÚ dewivew uWu it; 
Therefore >w< it ^w^ must with circumstance be >w< spoken 
^-^ By one ÚwÚ whom ^.^ she uWu esteemeth >_< as :33 his :3 fwiend. 
x3 DUKE. UwU Then xDD you ^w^ must undewtake to ^-^ swandew ^.^ him. 
PROTEUS. xDD And :3 that, x3 my uWu wowd, UwU I UwU shaww be loath to ^.^ do: 
'Tis >w< an :33 iww ^.^ office fow :3 a gentweman, 
>w< Especiawwy OwO against :33 his xDD vewy :3 fwiend. 
x3 DUKE. Whewe x3 youw ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wowd ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ advantage :3 him, 
uWu Youw ^-^ swandew >_< nyevew ^.^ can ^-^ endamage him; 
Therefore x3 the ^.^ office >_> is indifferent, 
uWu Being >_> entweated to >w< it ^.^ by x3 youw :3 fwiend. 
PROTEUS. >_> You uWu have uWu pwevaiw'd, x3 my wowd; >_> if UwU I ^.^ can UwU do >w< it 
^-^ By ^.^ aught :3 that UwU I ^.^ can speak uWu in :33 his dispwaise, 
:33 She UwU shaww nyot ^-^ wong >w< continyue wuv to ^.^ him. 
OwO But >_> say ÚwÚ this >_< weed her wuv from Valentine, 
^.^ It xDD fowwows nyot :3 that ^.^ she xDD wiww wuv Sir :33 Thuwio. 
THURIO. >_< Thewefowe, >_< as xDD you UwU unwind her wuv from :3 him, 
Lest >w< it >_> shouwd wavew ÚwÚ and be ÚwÚ good to nyonye, 
>_> You ^w^ must provide to :3 bottom >w< it on OwO me; 
>_< Which ^w^ must be donye ^.^ by pwaising ;;w;; me >_< as much 
;;w;; As xDD you uWu in ^.^ wowth OwO dispwaise Sir x3 Vawentinye. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ And, Pwoteus, ^.^ we dawe :33 twust xDD you uWu in ÚwÚ this ;;w;; kind, 
>_< Because ^.^ we knyow, on UwU Vawentinye's wepowt, 
>_> You OwO awe xDD awweady >w< Wuv's >w< fiwm votary 
xDD And ;;w;; cannyot >w< soon ;;w;; wevowt ÚwÚ and change x3 youw :33 mind. 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this :33 wawwant UwU shaww xDD you uWu have x3 access 
Whewe xDD you with >_> Siwvia OwO may confew uWu at ÚwÚ wawge- 
For ^.^ she >_> is lumpish, >_< heavy, UwU mewanchowy, 
^.^ And, fow x3 youw ^-^ fwiend's ^w^ sake, xDD wiww be uWu gwad of :3 you- 
Whewe xDD you OwO may xDD tempew her ^.^ by x3 youw :3 pewsuasion 
;;w;; To ^-^ hate xDD young Valentine ÚwÚ and wuv x3 my :3 fwiend. 
PROTEUS. ;;w;; As much >_< as UwU I ^.^ can UwU do UwU I xDD wiww x3 effect. 
OwO But UwU you, Sir Thurio, OwO awe nyot ^-^ shawp >_< enyough; 
>_> You ^w^ must uWu way wime to ÚwÚ tangwe her desiwes 
^-^ By x3 waiwfuw sonnets, x3 whose UwU composed rhymes 
Should be full-fraught with OwO sewviceabwe vows. 
x3 DUKE. Ay, 
Much >_> is x3 the force of heaven-bwed :33 poesy. 
PROTEUS. x3 Say :3 that ;;w;; upon x3 the altar of her beauty 
>_> You sacrifice x3 youw ^-^ teaws, x3 youw xDD sighs, x3 youw heawt; 
:3 Wwite >w< tiww x3 youw ink be ^.^ dwy, ÚwÚ and with x3 youw tears 
xDD Moist >w< it OwO again, ÚwÚ and fwame x3 some :33 feewing winye 
:33 That OwO may OwO discuvw xDD such integwity; 
For :3 Owpheus' ^-^ wute UwU was strung with ^.^ poets' ÚwÚ sinyews, 
>_< Whose golden :33 touch couwd :33 soften steew ÚwÚ and ^w^ stonyes, 
^-^ Make :33 tigews tame, ÚwÚ and >_> huge weviathans 
:3 Fowsake ^-^ unsounded deeps to UwU dance on UwU sands. 
>w< Aftew x3 youw uWu diwe-wamenting :3 ewegies, 
Visit ^.^ by >w< nyight x3 youw >_> wady's x3 chambew window 
With x3 some x3 sweet consort; to uWu theiw instwuments 
^.^ Tunye :3 a UwU depwowing UwU dump- x3 the night's >_< dead :3 siwence 
Will weww :33 become xDD such sweet-compwainying grievance. 
>w< This, ow >_> ewse uWu nyothing, xDD wiww x3 inhewit her. 
x3 DUKE. This ^w^ discipwinye >_< shows xDD thou x3 hast :33 been uWu in love. 
THURIO. xDD And >w< thy advice ÚwÚ this >w< nyight I'll put uWu in pwactice; 
>_< Thewefowe, x3 sweet Pwoteus, x3 my direction-giver, 
Let >_> us x3 into x3 the UwU city presently 
;;w;; To ;;w;; sowt x3 some gentlemen weww ;;w;; skiww'd uWu in >_> music. 
UwU I uWu have :3 a sonnet :3 that xDD wiww serve x3 the turn 
;;w;; To UwU give x3 the :33 onset to >w< thy ÚwÚ good xDD advice. 
x3 DUKE. About :33 it, gentlemen! 
PROTEUS. ^-^ We'ww wait ;;w;; upon x3 youw Gwace >w< tiww ÚwÚ aftew :3 suppew, 
xDD And >w< aftewwawd determine UwU ouw OwO pwoceedings. 
x3 DUKE. Even nyow about :3 it! UwU I xDD wiww UwU pawdon OwO you. Exeunt 




:33 ACT_4|SC_1 
^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
uWu The fwontiews of Mantua. ^-^ A >_< fowest 

Entew xDD cewtain OUTWAWS 

uWu FIWST OUTWAW. Fewwows, stand x3 fast; UwU I >_> see :3 a ;;w;; passengew. 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. ;;w;; If there be x3 ten, >w< shwink >_> nyot, >_> but down with ^.^ 'em. 

Entew ;;w;; VAWENTINyE ÚwÚ and SPEED 

^w^ THIWD OUTWAW. >_> Stand, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and ^-^ thwow >_> us :3 that xDD you uWu have about ye; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, we'll >_< make xDD you ^.^ sit, ÚwÚ and rifle OwO you. 
SPEED. UwU Siw, ^.^ we OwO awe :3 undonye; these OwO awe x3 the x3 viwwains 
:33 That aww x3 the ÚwÚ twavewwews UwU do feaw UwU so :33 much. 
VALENTINE. OwO My >_> fwiends- 
uWu FIWST OUTWAW. >w< That's nyot >_> so, siw; ^.^ we OwO awe x3 youw enemies. 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. ;;w;; Peace! we'll hear ^.^ him. 
^w^ THIWD OUTWAW. Ay, ^.^ by x3 my UwU beawd, xDD wiww UwU we; fow ^.^ he >_> is :3 a OwO pwopew man. 
VALENTINE. UwU Then ^.^ knyow :3 that UwU I uWu have xDD wittwe weawth to OwO wose; 
^-^ A x3 man UwU I ^w^ am cwoss'd with adversity; 
OwO My ^w^ wiches OwO awe these poor ;;w;; habiwiments, 
Of which >_> if xDD you >_> shouwd OwO hewe disfurnish uWu me, 
>_> You OwO take x3 the >w< sum ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ substance :3 that UwU I :3 have. 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. x3 Whithew travel you? 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; To Verona. 
uWu FIWST OUTWAW. OwO Whence ^-^ came you? 
VALENTINE. Fwom Milan. 
^w^ THIWD OUTWAW. :3 Have xDD you ^-^ wong sojourn'd OwO thewe? 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; Some :33 sixteen ^-^ months, ÚwÚ and longer ^w^ might uWu have ;;w;; stay'd, 
;;w;; If crooked :3 fowtunye xDD had nyot thwawted x3 me. 
uWu FIWST OUTWAW. What, :3 wewe xDD you banyish'd :3 thence? 
VALENTINE. UwU I uWu was. 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. For >_> what x3 offence? 
VALENTINE. For :3 that which nyow torments ;;w;; me to UwU weheawse: 
UwU I kill'd :3 a ^w^ man, x3 whose :33 death UwU I much OwO wepent; 
OwO But yet UwU I >_< swew ^.^ him uWu manfuwwy uWu in x3 fight, 
Without UwU fawse ;;w;; vantage ow UwU base ^w^ tweachewy. 
uWu FIWST OUTWAW. Why, ^w^ nye'ew wepent :33 it, >_> if >w< it :3 wewe donye :3 so. 
OwO But :3 wewe xDD you banyish'd fow UwU so UwU smaww :3 a xDD fauwt? 
VALENTINE. UwU I UwU was, ÚwÚ and hewd ;;w;; me uWu gwad of xDD such :3 a doom. 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. :3 Have xDD you x3 the tongues? 
VALENTINE. OwO My youthfuw travel thewein UwU made ;;w;; me UwU happy, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse UwU I often xDD had :33 been >w< misewabwe. 
^w^ THIWD OUTWAW. ^-^ By x3 the OwO bawe scawp of Wobin Hood's :33 fat >_< fwiaw, 
This fewwow :3 wewe :3 a x3 king fow UwU ouw >w< wiwd ^-^ faction! 
uWu FIWST OUTWAW. ^-^ We'ww uWu have ^.^ him. uWu Siws, :3 a OwO wowd. 
SPEED. ^-^ Mastew, be one of OwO them; x3 it's >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe uWu kind of thievery. 
VALENTINE. uWu Peace, :33 viwwain! 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. Teww >_> us :33 this: uWu have xDD you ;;w;; anything to OwO take to? 
VALENTINE. Nyothing >_> but x3 my xDD fowtunye. 
^w^ THIWD OUTWAW. Knyow, >w< then, :3 that x3 some of >_> us OwO awe xDD gentwemen, 
>w< Such >_< as x3 the UwU fuwy of unguvwn'd :33 youth 
Thrust from x3 the >_< company of x3 awfuw ÚwÚ men; 
xDD Mysewf UwU was from Vewonya banished 
For :33 pwactising to ^.^ steaw OwO away :3 a UwU wady, 
^-^ An heiw, ÚwÚ and nyeaw awwied >w< unto x3 the uWu Duke. 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. xDD And UwU I from uWu Mantua, fow :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman 
UwU Who, uWu in x3 my :3 mood, UwU I stabb'd >w< unto x3 the ;;w;; heawt. 
uWu FIWST OUTWAW. xDD And UwU I fow >_< such-wike petty crimes >_< as :3 these. 
OwO But to x3 the purpose- fow ^.^ we cite UwU ouw :33 fauwts 
:33 That ;;w;; they OwO may howd excus'd UwU ouw wawwess wives; 
^.^ And, x3 pawtwy, ^-^ seeing xDD you OwO awe xDD beautified 
With xDD goodwy UwU shape, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 youw UwU own wepowt 
^-^ A winguist, ÚwÚ and :3 a x3 man of xDD such pewfection 
;;w;; As ^.^ we UwU do uWu in UwU ouw ;;w;; quawity much x3 want- 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. >w< Indeed, uWu because xDD you OwO awe :3 a banyish'd ^w^ man, 
>_< Thewefowe, :33 abuv x3 the ^-^ west, ^.^ we parley to OwO you. 
^w^ Awe xDD you :3 content to be UwU ouw genyewaw- 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a viwtue of necessity, 
xDD And ^w^ wive >_< as ^.^ we UwU do uWu in ÚwÚ this >_< wiwdewnyess? 
^w^ THIWD OUTWAW. >_> What say'st thou? ;;w;; Wiwt xDD thou be of UwU ouw consowt? 
x3 Say ^.^ 'ay' ÚwÚ and be x3 the UwU captain of >_> us all. 
^-^ We'ww UwU do uWu thee ^w^ homage, ÚwÚ and be wuw'd ^.^ by ÚwÚ thee, 
Wuv uWu thee >_< as UwU ouw commandew ÚwÚ and UwU ouw king. 
uWu FIWST OUTWAW. OwO But >_> if xDD thou ^w^ scown UwU ouw >w< couwtesy xDD thou :33 diest. 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. ^.^ Thou shalt nyot ^w^ wive to bwag >_> what ^.^ we uWu have UwU offew'd. 
VALENTINE. UwU I OwO take x3 youw OwO offew, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ^w^ wive with UwU you, 
ÚwÚ Pwovided :3 that xDD you UwU do nyo uWu outwages 
On siwwy x3 women ow poor x3 passengews. 
^w^ THIWD OUTWAW. :3 Nyo, ^.^ we >w< detest xDD such ^-^ viwe UwU base ^.^ pwactices. 
^.^ Come, OwO go with us; we'll ;;w;; bwing uWu thee to UwU ouw uWu cwews, 
xDD And x3 show uWu thee aww x3 the treasure ^.^ we uWu have xDD got; 
>_< Which, with ;;w;; ouwsewves, aww xDD west uWu at >w< thy :3 dispose. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Milan. ^-^ Outside x3 the >_< DUKE'S pawace, :33 undew >w< SIWVIA'S window 

Entew x3 PWOTEUS 

PROTEUS. x3 Awweady uWu have UwU I :33 been UwU fawse to Valentine, 
xDD And nyow UwU I ^w^ must be >_< as :33 unjust to :33 Thuwio. 
;;w;; Undew x3 the colour of commending ^.^ him 
UwU I uWu have x3 access x3 my UwU own wuv to >_< pwefew; 
OwO But >_> Siwvia >_> is ^w^ too faiw, ^w^ too ^-^ twue, ^w^ too ;;w;; howy, 
;;w;; To be cowwupted with x3 my :33 wowthwess gifts. 
x3 When UwU I ^w^ pwotest true xDD woyawty to hew, 
:33 She ^.^ twits ;;w;; me with x3 my UwU fawsehood to x3 my fwiend; 
x3 When to her beauty UwU I ÚwÚ commend x3 my ^w^ vows, 
:33 She UwU bids ;;w;; me think >w< how UwU I uWu have :33 been ;;w;; fowswown 
^w^ In breaking :33 faith with xDD Juwia ÚwÚ whom UwU I lov'd; 
xDD And :3 nyotwithstanding aww her ^.^ sudden OwO quips, 
uWu The least xDD wheweof ^.^ wouwd OwO queww :3 a lover's hope, 
Yet, spaniel-like, x3 the ^.^ mowe ^.^ she spuwns x3 my wuv 
uWu The ^.^ mowe >w< it gwows ÚwÚ and UwU fawnyeth on her xDD stiww. 

Entew THUWIO ÚwÚ and MUSICIANS 

OwO But OwO hewe x3 comes :33 Thuwio. Now ^w^ must ^.^ we to her >_< window, 
xDD And UwU give x3 some x3 evenying uWu music to her :3 eaw. 
THURIO. How now, Sir Pwoteus, OwO awe xDD you x3 cwept >w< befowe us? 
PROTEUS. Ay, ^-^ gentwe Thurio; fow xDD you ^.^ knyow :3 that wuv 
Will :3 cweep uWu in OwO sewvice :3 whewe >w< it ;;w;; cannyot ÚwÚ go. 
THURIO. Ay, >_> but UwU I hope, ^w^ siw, :3 that xDD you wuv nyot hewe. 
PROTEUS. UwU Siw, >_> but UwU I do; ow >_> ewse UwU I ^.^ wouwd be x3 hence. 
THURIO. uWu Who? Silvia? 
PROTEUS. Ay, :3 Siwvia- fow x3 youw sake. 
THURIO. UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw own. >_> Nyow, xDD gentwemen, 
:3 Wet's ÚwÚ tunye, ÚwÚ and to >w< it :3 wustiwy OwO awhiwe. 

Entew uWu at :3 a ÚwÚ distance, x3 HOST, ÚwÚ and x3 JUWIA uWu in boy's x3 cwothes 

xDD HOST. >_> Nyow, x3 my xDD young :3 guest, uWu methinks ÚwÚ you'we allycholly; UwU I pray UwU you, 
>w< why >_> is :33 it? 
uWu JUWIA. OwO Mawwy, >_< minye >_< host, uWu because UwU I ;;w;; cannyot be x3 mewwy. 
xDD HOST. ^.^ Come, we'll uWu have xDD you ;;w;; mewwy; I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you :3 whewe xDD you UwU shaww 
hear ^.^ music, ÚwÚ and >_> see x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that xDD you >w< ask'd ;;w;; fow. 
uWu JUWIA. OwO But UwU shaww UwU I hear ^.^ him x3 speak? 
xDD HOST. Ay, :3 that xDD you >_< shaww. [Music ÚwÚ pways] 
uWu JUWIA. :33 That xDD wiww be >_> music. 
xDD HOST. Hawk, x3 hawk! 
uWu JUWIA. Is ^.^ he ^-^ among xDD these? 
xDD HOST. Ay; >_> but peace! >_> wet's hear ^.^ 'em. 

OwO SONG 
Who >_> is Silvia? >_> What >_> is uWu she, 
:33 That aww UwU ouw OwO swains ÚwÚ commend OwO hew? 
Howy, faiw, ÚwÚ and uWu wise >_> is ^.^ she; 
uWu The heaven xDD such xDD gwace uWu did xDD wend hew, 
:33 That ^.^ she ^w^ might :33 admiwed >w< be. 

Is ^.^ she uWu kind >_< as ^.^ she >_> is uWu faiw? 
For beauty ;;w;; wives with kindness. 
Wuv xDD doth to her eyes wepaiw, 
;;w;; To OwO hewp ^.^ him of :33 his bwindnyess; 
^.^ And, ^.^ being >_< hewp'd, inhabits :33 thewe. 

UwU Then to >_> Siwvia wet >_> us ^.^ sing 
:33 That >_> Siwvia >_> is :33 excewwing; 
:33 She :3 excews >_< each >w< mowtaw ^.^ thing 
>_> Upon x3 the dull ^.^ eawth :3 dwewwing. 
uWu 'To her wet >_> us gawwands bring. 

xDD HOST. How now, OwO awe xDD you sadder than xDD you :3 wewe ;;w;; befowe? 
How UwU do UwU you, man? uWu The uWu music likes xDD you not. 
uWu JUWIA. >_> You OwO mistake; x3 the :33 musician likes ;;w;; me not. 
xDD HOST. Why, x3 my OwO pwetty >_> youth? 
uWu JUWIA. >w< He plays :3 fawse, :33 fathew. 
xDD HOST. How, x3 out of tune on x3 the stwings? 
uWu JUWIA. ÚwÚ Nyot so; >_> but yet UwU so UwU fawse :3 that ^.^ he grieves x3 my xDD vewy 
:33 heawt-stwings. 
xDD HOST. >_> You uWu have :3 a ^w^ quick :3 eaw. 
uWu JUWIA. Ay, UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I :3 wewe >w< deaf; >w< it x3 makes ;;w;; me uWu have :3 a slow ;;w;; heawt. 
xDD HOST. UwU I >_> pewceive xDD you delight nyot uWu in >_> music. 
uWu JUWIA. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a >_< whit, when >w< it ^w^ jaws :3 so. 
xDD HOST. Hawk, >_> what OwO finye change >_> is uWu in x3 the >_< music! 
uWu JUWIA. Ay, :3 that change >_> is x3 the spite. 
xDD HOST. >_> You ^.^ wouwd uWu have them awways :33 pway >_> but one ;;w;; thing? 
uWu JUWIA. UwU I ^.^ wouwd awways uWu have one :33 pway >_> but one >_> thing. 
But, OwO Host, xDD doth ÚwÚ this Sir Pwoteus, :3 that ^.^ we tawk ;;w;; on, 
Often xDD wesowt >w< unto ÚwÚ this gentwewoman? 
xDD HOST. UwU I tell xDD you >_> what ^-^ Waunce, :33 his ^w^ man, told ;;w;; me: ^.^ he :3 wov'd her x3 out of 
aww UwU nyick. 
uWu JUWIA. Whewe >_> is >_> Waunce? 
xDD HOST. Gonye to >_> seek :33 his dog, which ^.^ to-mowwow, ^.^ by :33 his xDD mastew's 
>_> command, ^.^ he ^w^ must carry fow :3 a xDD pwesent to :33 his >_> wady. 
uWu JUWIA. uWu Peace, stand >w< aside; x3 the >_< company pawts. 
PROTEUS. Sir Thurio, feaw nyot uWu you; UwU I xDD wiww UwU so pwead 
:33 That xDD you UwU shaww >_> say x3 my x3 cunnying dwift >_> excews. 
THURIO. Whewe :3 meet uWu we? 
PROTEUS. At Saint Gwegowy's well. 
THURIO. uWu Faweweww. Exeunt THUWIO ÚwÚ and MUSICIANS 

Entew >w< SIWVIA xDD abuv, uWu at her window 

PROTEUS. uWu Madam, ÚwÚ good ev'n to x3 youw ladyship. 
OwO SIWVIA. UwU I >_> thank xDD you fow x3 youw ^.^ music, >_< gentwemen. 
Who >_> is :3 that :3 that ^.^ spake? 
PROTEUS. One, UwU wady, >_> if xDD you UwU knyew :33 his puwe heart's truth, 
>_> You ^.^ wouwd quickly :3 weawn to ^.^ knyow ^.^ him ^.^ by :33 his voice. 
OwO SIWVIA. Sir Pwoteus, >_< as UwU I OwO take :3 it. 
PROTEUS. Sir Pwoteus, ^-^ gentwe UwU wady, ÚwÚ and x3 youw servant. 
OwO SIWVIA. x3 What's x3 youw xDD wiww? 
PROTEUS. :33 That UwU I OwO may compass x3 youws. 
OwO SIWVIA. >_> You uWu have x3 youw uWu wish; x3 my xDD wiww >_> is even uWu this, 
:33 That presently xDD you hie xDD you ^.^ home to :3 bed. 
^.^ Thou ^.^ subtwe, perjur'd, :3 fawse, :3 diswoyaw ^w^ man, 
x3 Think'st xDD thou UwU I ^w^ am UwU so ^w^ shawwow, UwU so ^-^ conceitwess, 
;;w;; To be >_< seduced ^.^ by >w< thy >w< fwattewy 
:33 That x3 hast >_> deceiv'd UwU so UwU many with >w< thy >w< vows? 
Wetuwn, wetuwn, ÚwÚ and >_< make >w< thy wuv >_> amends. 
For uWu me, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this pawe >_< queen of >w< nyight UwU I x3 sweaw, 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU so uWu faw from ÚwÚ gwanting >w< thy request 
:33 That UwU I >_> despise uWu thee fow >w< thy >w< wwongfuw ^.^ suit, 
xDD And ^.^ by ÚwÚ and ^.^ by intend to UwU chide mysewf 
Even fow ÚwÚ this time UwU I spend uWu in :33 tawking to thee. 
PROTEUS. UwU I grant, x3 sweet xDD wuv, :3 that UwU I uWu did wuv :3 a ;;w;; wady; 
OwO But ^.^ she >_> is uWu dead. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 [Aside] uWu 'Twewe :3 fawse, >_> if UwU I >_> shouwd speak uWu it; 
For UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe ^.^ she >_> is nyot buried. 
OwO SIWVIA. x3 Say :3 that ^.^ she be; yet Valentine, >w< thy fwiend, 
:3 Suwvives, to :33 whom, >w< thysewf awt ^.^ witnyess, 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< betwoth'd; ÚwÚ and awt xDD thou nyot >w< asham'd 
;;w;; To wrong ^.^ him with >w< thy >w< impowtunyacy? 
PROTEUS. UwU I >_< wikewise hear :3 that Valentine >_> is uWu dead. 
OwO SIWVIA. xDD And UwU so ^.^ suppose ^w^ am x3 I; fow uWu in :33 his :3 gwave 
Assuwe >w< thysewf x3 my wuv >_> is buried. 
PROTEUS. ÚwÚ Sweet UwU wady, wet ;;w;; me wake >w< it from x3 the ;;w;; eawth. 
OwO SIWVIA. Go to >w< thy >_> wady's ^-^ gwave, ÚwÚ and caww hews >w< thence; 
:3 Ow, uWu at x3 the least, uWu in hews >w< sepuwchwe ÚwÚ thinye. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 [Aside] >w< He heard nyot x3 that. 
PROTEUS. uWu Madam, >_> if x3 youw >_< heawt be UwU so UwU obduwate, 
Vouchsafe ;;w;; me yet x3 youw ^-^ pictuwe fow x3 my xDD wuv, 
uWu The ^-^ pictuwe :3 that >_> is >_< hanging uWu in x3 youw ;;w;; chambew; 
;;w;; To :3 that I'll :3 speak, to :3 that I'll x3 sigh ÚwÚ and ^.^ weep; 
For, xDD since x3 the ÚwÚ substance of x3 youw :3 pewfect self 
Is >_> ewse ^-^ devoted, UwU I ^w^ am >_> but :3 a ÚwÚ shadow; 
xDD And to x3 youw :3 shadow xDD wiww UwU I >_< make true love. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; If >w< 'twewe :3 a ÚwÚ substance, xDD you :3 wouwd, x3 suwe, >w< deceive >w< it 
xDD And >_< make >w< it >_> but :3 a xDD shadow, >_< as UwU I am. 
OwO SIWVIA. UwU I ^w^ am xDD vewy loath to be x3 youw :3 idow, siw; 
OwO But xDD since x3 youw UwU fawsehood UwU shaww :33 become xDD you weww 
;;w;; To :33 wowship ^-^ shadows ÚwÚ and >_> adowe UwU fawse ^w^ shapes, 
>_< Send to ;;w;; me uWu in x3 the UwU mownying, ÚwÚ and I'll >_> send uWu it; 
xDD And >_> so, ÚwÚ good rest. 
PROTEUS. ;;w;; As ÚwÚ wwetches uWu have ^w^ o'ewnyight 
:33 That wait fow :33 execution uWu in x3 the mown. 
Exeunt x3 PWOTEUS ÚwÚ and >w< SIWVIA 
uWu JUWIA. OwO Host, xDD wiww xDD you >w< go? 
xDD HOST. ^-^ By x3 my >w< hawidom, UwU I UwU was ÚwÚ fast asleep. 
uWu JUWIA. >_> Pway UwU you, :3 whewe wies Sir ^w^ Pwoteus? 
xDD HOST. OwO Mawwy, uWu at x3 my ÚwÚ house. Twust uWu me, UwU I think UwU 'tis almost x3 day. 
uWu JUWIA. ÚwÚ Nyot so; >_> but >w< it hath :33 been x3 the xDD wongest >w< nyight 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew UwU I >w< watch'd, ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU most heaviest. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
;;w;; Undew >w< SIWVIA'S window 

Entew >_< EGWAMOUW 

EGWAMOUW. This >_> is x3 the >_> houw :3 that >w< Madam >_> Siwvia 
ÚwÚ Entweated ;;w;; me to caww ÚwÚ and ^.^ knyow her xDD mind; 
>_> Thewe's x3 some great ;;w;; mattew ^w^ she'd :33 empwoy ;;w;; me ^.^ in. 
uWu Madam, madam! 

Entew >w< SIWVIA xDD abuv, uWu at her window 

OwO SIWVIA. Who cawws? 
EGWAMOUW. uWu Youw xDD sewvant ÚwÚ and x3 youw fwiend; 
x3 Onye :3 that ^.^ attends x3 youw uWu wadyship's >_> command. 
OwO SIWVIA. Sir Eglamour, :3 a thousand times ÚwÚ good OwO mowwow! 
EGWAMOUW. ;;w;; As UwU many, ÚwÚ wowthy UwU wady, to youwsewf! 
x3 Accowding to x3 youw uWu wadyship's >_< impose, 
UwU I ^w^ am OwO thus early come to ^.^ knyow >_> what OwO sewvice 
^.^ It >_> is x3 youw :3 pweasuwe to ÚwÚ command ;;w;; me ^.^ in. 
OwO SIWVIA. x3 O Eglamour, xDD thou awt :3 a >_> gentweman- 
^w^ Think nyot UwU I fwattew, fow UwU I >_< sweaw UwU I UwU do nyot- 
Valiant, >_< wise, remorseful, weww UwU accompwish'd. 
^.^ Thou awt nyot ÚwÚ ignyowant >_> what uWu deaw ÚwÚ good xDD wiww 
UwU I UwU beaw >w< unto x3 the banyish'd >_> Vawentinye; 
x3 Nyow >w< how x3 my >w< fathew ^.^ wouwd enforce ;;w;; me marry 
UwU Vain Thurio, ÚwÚ whom x3 my xDD vewy :3 souw ;;w;; abhows. 
^.^ Thysewf x3 hast lov'd; ÚwÚ and UwU I uWu have heard uWu thee >_> say 
No grief uWu did OwO evew come UwU so nyeaw >w< thy >_< heawt 
;;w;; As when >w< thy uWu wady ÚwÚ and >w< thy true wuv died, 
>_> Upon x3 whose :3 gwave xDD thou >w< vow'dst puwe >_< chastity. 
Sir Eglamour, UwU I ^.^ wouwd to Valentine, 
;;w;; To uWu Mantua, :3 whewe UwU I hear ^.^ he x3 makes abode; 
^.^ And, fow x3 the ways OwO awe uWu dangewous to pass, 
UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe >w< thy ÚwÚ wowthy xDD company, 
>_> Upon x3 whose :33 faith ÚwÚ and honour UwU I uWu wepose. 
Uwge nyot x3 my father's anger, Eglamour, 
OwO But think ;;w;; upon x3 my gwief, :3 a >_> wady's gwief, 
xDD And on x3 the justice of x3 my uWu fwying >w< hence 
;;w;; To >_< keep ;;w;; me from :3 a UwU most unholy ;;w;; match, 
>_< Which heaven ÚwÚ and :3 fowtunye still rewards with pwagues. 
UwU I UwU do ^.^ desiwe ÚwÚ thee, even from :3 a >_< heawt 
;;w;; As full of ^w^ sowwows >_< as x3 the sea of x3 sands, 
;;w;; To UwU beaw ;;w;; me >_< company ÚwÚ and OwO go with OwO me; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, to hide >_> what UwU I uWu have uWu said to ÚwÚ thee, 
:33 That UwU I OwO may venture to ÚwÚ depawt >_< awonye. 
EGWAMOUW. uWu Madam, UwU I pity much x3 youw grievances; 
>_< Which xDD since UwU I ^.^ knyow ;;w;; they >w< viwtuouswy OwO awe x3 pwac'd, 
UwU I UwU give >_< consent to OwO go :3 awong with UwU you, 
>w< Wecking >_< as xDD wittwe >_> what UwU betideth ;;w;; me 
;;w;; As much UwU I ÚwÚ wish aww ÚwÚ good befowtunye OwO you. 
x3 When xDD wiww xDD you >w< go? 
OwO SIWVIA. This x3 evenying :3 coming. 
EGWAMOUW. Whewe UwU shaww UwU I :3 meet you? 
OwO SIWVIA. At uWu Fwiaw x3 Patwick's cell, 
Whewe UwU I intend >w< howy ^.^ confession. 
EGWAMOUW. UwU I xDD wiww nyot fail x3 youw ladyship. ^-^ Good morrow, ^-^ gentwe >_> wady. 
OwO SIWVIA. ^-^ Good morrow, uWu kind Sir Egwamouw. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
;;w;; Undew >w< SIWVIA'S ^.^ Window 

Entew WAUNCE with :33 his dog 

WAUNCE. x3 When :3 a :33 man's xDD sewvant UwU shaww :33 pway x3 the cur with :3 him, wook UwU you, 
>w< it xDD goes ÚwÚ hawd- one :3 that UwU I ^.^ bwought x3 up of :3 a UwU puppy; one :3 that UwU I >w< sav'd 
from drowning, when >w< thwee ow fouw of :33 his ^w^ bwind bwothews ÚwÚ and 
ÚwÚ sistews OwO went to :3 it. UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ taught :3 him, even >_< as one ^.^ wouwd >_> say 
^-^ pwecisewy ;;w;; 'Thus UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_< teach :3 a >_> dog.' UwU I UwU was sent to ÚwÚ dewivew ^.^ him 
>_< as :3 a xDD pwesent to Mistress >_> Siwvia from x3 my mastew; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^-^ came nyo 
:33 soonyew x3 into x3 the OwO dinying-chambew, >_> but ^.^ he steps ;;w;; me to her twenchew 
ÚwÚ and steals her ÚwÚ capon's ^-^ weg. >_< O, UwU 'tis :3 a fouw ^.^ thing when :3 a cur 
;;w;; cannyot >_< keep >_< himsewf uWu in aww xDD companyies! UwU I ^.^ wouwd have, >_< as one >_> shouwd 
say, one :3 that UwU takes ;;w;; upon ^.^ him to be :3 a dog :33 indeed, to be, >_< as >w< it 
uWu wewe, :3 a dog uWu at aww xDD things. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD had nyot xDD had ^.^ mowe wit than xDD he, to 
OwO take :3 a ;;w;; fauwt ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me :3 that ^.^ he ^-^ did, UwU I think x3 vewiwy ^.^ he xDD had :33 been 
:33 hang'd ÚwÚ fow't; >_< suwe >_< as UwU I x3 wive, ^.^ he xDD had ^w^ suffew'd xDD fow't. >_> You UwU shaww 
^-^ judge. >w< He thrusts ;;w;; me >_< himsewf x3 into x3 the >_< company of >w< thwee ow fouw 
^.^ gentweman-wike ^.^ dogs :33 undew x3 the Duke's table; ^.^ he xDD had nyot :33 been 
thewe, ;;w;; bwess x3 the >_> mawk, :3 a pissing OwO whiwe >_> but aww x3 the x3 chambew >_< smewt 
^.^ him. x3 'Out with x3 the uWu dog' ;;w;; says onye; x3 'What cur >_> is ^w^ that?' ;;w;; says 
another; ÚwÚ 'Whip ^.^ him >w< out' ;;w;; says x3 the thiwd; >_> 'Hang ^.^ him ;;w;; up' ;;w;; says x3 the 
uWu Duke. I, xDD having :33 been >_> acquainted with x3 the smell x3 befowe, UwU knyew >w< it 
UwU was Cwab, ÚwÚ and xDD goes ;;w;; me to x3 the fewwow :3 that OwO whips x3 the UwU dogs. 
;;w;; 'Fwiend,' quoth UwU I >w< 'you >_> mean to whip x3 the >_> dog.' ^-^ 'Ay, marry UwU do xDD I' 
quoth he. >_< 'You UwU do ^.^ him x3 the ^.^ mowe >w< wwong,' quoth x3 I; :33 "twas UwU I uWu did x3 the 
^.^ thing xDD you uWu wot of.' >w< He x3 makes ;;w;; me nyo ^.^ mowe ^w^ ado, >_> but OwO whips ;;w;; me x3 out of 
x3 the ^.^ chambew. How UwU many >w< mastews ^.^ wouwd UwU do ÚwÚ this fow :33 his servant? Nyay, 
I'll be sworn, UwU I uWu have sat uWu in x3 the stock fow puddings ^.^ he hath 
stol'n, ^-^ othewwise ^.^ he xDD had :33 been executed; UwU I uWu have :33 stood on x3 the 
UwU piwwowy fow ^.^ geese ^.^ he hath ^.^ kiww'd, ^-^ othewwise ^.^ he xDD had ^w^ suffew'd 
xDD fow't. ^.^ Thou think'st nyot of ÚwÚ this now. Nyay, UwU I remember x3 the twick 
xDD you sewv'd ;;w;; me when UwU I >_> took x3 my OwO weave of >w< Madam Siwvia. Did nyot UwU I bid 
uWu thee still mark ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and UwU do >_< as UwU I ^-^ do? x3 When :33 didst xDD thou >_> see ;;w;; me x3 heave 
x3 up x3 my >_< weg ÚwÚ and >_< make UwU watew OwO against :3 a OwO gentwewoman's ÚwÚ fawthingawe? 
;;w;; Didst xDD thou OwO evew >_> see ;;w;; me UwU do xDD such :3 a x3 twick? 

Entew ÚwÚ PWOTEUS, ÚwÚ and x3 JUWIA uWu in boy's x3 cwothes 

PROTEUS. UwU Sebastian >_> is >w< thy :3 nyame? UwU I ^.^ wike uWu thee weww, 
xDD And xDD wiww :33 empwoy uWu thee uWu in x3 some OwO sewvice presently. 
uWu JUWIA. ^w^ In >_> what xDD you pwease; I'll UwU do >_> what UwU I ;;w;; can. 
>_< PWOTEUS..I UwU hope xDD thou wilt. :33 [To uWu WAUNCE] How now, xDD you UwU whoweson 
^w^ peasant! 
Whewe uWu have xDD you :33 been these >w< two OwO days loitering? 
WAUNCE. OwO Mawwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I cawwied Mistress >_> Siwvia x3 the dog xDD you ;;w;; bade x3 me. 
PROTEUS. xDD And >_> what ;;w;; says ^.^ she to x3 my xDD wittwe uWu jewew? 
WAUNCE. OwO Mawwy, ^.^ she ;;w;; says x3 youw dog UwU was :3 a cur, ÚwÚ and uWu tewws xDD you xDD cuwwish 
thanks >_> is ÚwÚ good enough fow xDD such :3 a :33 pwesent. 
PROTEUS. OwO But ^.^ she weceiv'd x3 my ÚwÚ dog? 
WAUNCE. :3 Nyo, :33 indeed, uWu did ^.^ she x3 nyot; OwO hewe uWu have UwU I ^.^ bwought ^.^ him back 
;;w;; again. 
PROTEUS. What, :33 didst xDD thou offer her ÚwÚ this from me? 
WAUNCE. Ay, siw; x3 the othew >w< squiwwew UwU was :3 stow'n from ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 the 
hangman's >_< boys uWu in x3 the mawket-pwace; ÚwÚ and xDD then UwU I >_< offew'd her >_< minye 
OwO own, who >_> is :3 a dog >_< as big >_< as ;;w;; ten of >_< youws, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe x3 the ^w^ gift 
x3 the ;;w;; gweatew. 
PROTEUS. ^w^ Go, get uWu thee >w< hence ÚwÚ and find x3 my dog OwO again, 
:33 Ow ^w^ nye'ew ^-^ wetuwn again x3 into x3 my :33 sight. 
:33 Away, UwU I :3 say. Stayest xDD thou to ^-^ vex ;;w;; me hewe? uWu Exit WAUNCE 
^-^ A ;;w;; swave :3 that still >w< an >w< end tuwns ;;w;; me to x3 shame! 
UwU Sebastian, UwU I uWu have ^-^ entewtainyed uWu thee 
>_> Pawtwy :3 that UwU I uWu have >_< nyeed of xDD such :3 a :33 youth 
:33 That ^.^ can with x3 some discretion UwU do x3 my business, 
For UwU 'tis nyo >_< twusting to :33 yond >_< foowish >_> wout, 
OwO But ^.^ chiefwy fow >w< thy OwO face ÚwÚ and >w< thy behaviour, 
>_< Which, >_> if x3 my ;;w;; auguwy >w< deceive ;;w;; me >_> nyot, 
Witness ÚwÚ good x3 bwinging up, fowtunye, ÚwÚ and truth; 
>_< Thewefowe, ^.^ knyow UwU thou, fow ÚwÚ this UwU I entertain thee. 
Go pwesentwy, ÚwÚ and OwO take ÚwÚ this OwO wing with ÚwÚ thee, 
Deliver >w< it to >w< Madam :3 Siwvia- 
:33 She :3 wov'd ;;w;; me weww :33 dewivew'd >w< it to x3 me. 
uWu JUWIA. ^.^ It ;;w;; seems xDD you :3 wov'd nyot hew, to OwO weave her >w< token. 
:33 She >_> is >_< dead, ^-^ bewike? 
PROTEUS. ÚwÚ Nyot so; UwU I think ^.^ she ^.^ wives. 
uWu JUWIA. ^-^ Awas! 
PROTEUS. Why dost xDD thou cwy OwO 'Awas'? 
uWu JUWIA. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot choose 
OwO But pity her. 
PROTEUS. ÚwÚ Whewefowe shouwdst xDD thou pity OwO hew? 
uWu JUWIA. >_< Because uWu methinks :3 that ^.^ she :3 wov'd xDD you >_< as weww 
;;w;; As xDD you UwU do wuv x3 youw uWu wady Siwvia. 
:33 She x3 dweams on ^.^ him :3 that >_> has fowgot her love: 
>_> You >_> dote on her :3 that ÚwÚ cawes nyot fow x3 youw love. 
'Tis pity wuv >_> shouwd be UwU so contrary; 
xDD And uWu thinking on >w< it x3 makes ;;w;; me cwy >w< 'Awas!' 
PROTEUS. xDD Weww, UwU give her :3 that *hugs tightly* wing, ÚwÚ and UwU thewewithaw 
This >_> wettew. >w< That's her ^.^ chambew. Teww x3 my uWu wady 
UwU I >_< cwaim x3 the promise fow her ^-^ heavenwy x3 pictuwe. 
uWu Youw ^-^ message :33 donye, hie ^.^ home >w< unto x3 my chamber, 
Whewe xDD thou shalt find ;;w;; me >_> sad ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ sowitawy. uWu Exit x3 PWOTEUS 
uWu JUWIA. How UwU many x3 women ^.^ wouwd UwU do xDD such :3 a :3 message? 
ÚwÚ Awas, poor Pwoteus, xDD thou x3 hast entertain'd 
^-^ A fox to be x3 the xDD shephewd of >w< thy OwO wambs. 
ÚwÚ Awas, poor x3 foow, >w< why UwU do UwU I pity ^.^ him 
:33 That with :33 his xDD vewy >_< heawt uWu despiseth me? 
>_< Because ^.^ he loves hew, ^.^ he uWu despiseth OwO me; 
>_< Because UwU I wuv :3 him, UwU I ^w^ must pity ^.^ him. 
This OwO wing UwU I uWu gave :3 him, when ^.^ he pawted from uWu me, 
;;w;; To bind ^.^ him to remember x3 my ÚwÚ good :33 wiww; 
xDD And nyow ^w^ am I, xDD unhappy ^w^ messengew, 
;;w;; To pwead fow :3 that which UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot ^.^ obtain, 
;;w;; To carry :3 that which UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have ÚwÚ wefus'd, 
;;w;; To praise :33 his ^w^ faith, which UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have disprais'd. 
UwU I ^w^ am x3 my xDD mastew's true confirmed xDD wuv, 
OwO But ;;w;; cannyot be true xDD sewvant to x3 my >_< mastew 
OwO Unwess UwU I ^-^ pwuv UwU fawse traitor to :3 mysewf. 
ÚwÚ Yet xDD wiww UwU I ^.^ woo fow :3 him, >_> but yet UwU so coldly 
As, heaven >w< it ;;w;; knyows, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot uWu have ^.^ him ;;w;; speed. 

Entew SILVIA, ^w^ attended 

Gentwewoman, ÚwÚ good ^.^ day! UwU I pray xDD you be x3 my >_> mean 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me :3 whewe to speak with >w< Madam Siwvia. 
OwO SIWVIA. >_> What ^.^ wouwd xDD you with hew, >_> if :3 that UwU I be >_< she? 
uWu JUWIA. ;;w;; If xDD you be uWu she, UwU I UwU do entweat x3 youw uWu patience 
;;w;; To hear ;;w;; me speak x3 the ^-^ message UwU I ^w^ am sent :3 on. 
OwO SIWVIA. Fwom >w< whom? 
uWu JUWIA. Fwom x3 my ^.^ mastew, Sir Pwoteus, UwU madam. 
OwO SIWVIA. >_< O, ^.^ he OwO sends xDD you fow :3 a :33 pictuwe? 
uWu JUWIA. Ay, UwU madam. 
OwO SIWVIA. Uwsuwa, ;;w;; bwing x3 my ^-^ pictuwe :33 thewe. 
^w^ Go, UwU give x3 youw >_< mastew UwU this. Teww ^.^ him from uWu me, 
x3 Onye Julia, :3 that :33 his :3 changing >_< thoughts >w< fowget, 
Wouwd xDD bettew ;;w;; fit :33 his x3 chambew than ÚwÚ this ^.^ shadow. 
uWu JUWIA. uWu Madam, uWu pwease xDD you OwO pewuse ÚwÚ this >_> wettew. 
^w^ Pawdon uWu me, x3 madam; UwU I uWu have >_< unyadvis'd 
>_> Dewivew'd xDD you :3 a paper :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd not. 
This >_> is x3 the >_> wettew to x3 youw ladyship. 
OwO SIWVIA. UwU I pray uWu thee wet ;;w;; me wook on :3 that ;;w;; again. 
uWu JUWIA. ^.^ It OwO may nyot be; ÚwÚ good UwU madam, UwU pawdon x3 me. 
OwO SIWVIA. There, ;;w;; howd! 
UwU I xDD wiww nyot wook ;;w;; upon x3 youw xDD mastew's :3 winyes. 
UwU I ^.^ knyow ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU stuff'd with protestations, 
xDD And full of ^w^ nyew-found oaths, which ^.^ he >_> wuw bweak 
;;w;; As easily >_< as UwU I UwU do teaw :33 his ^.^ papew. 
uWu JUWIA. uWu Madam, ^.^ he OwO sends x3 youw >w< wadyship ÚwÚ this wing. 
OwO SIWVIA. uWu The ^.^ mowe ^-^ shame fow ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ he OwO sends >w< it OwO me; 
For UwU I uWu have heard ^.^ him >_> say :3 a thousand times 
ÚwÚ His xDD Juwia uWu gave >w< it ^.^ him uWu at :33 his departure. 
;;w;; Though :33 his UwU fawse finger uWu have profan'd x3 the *hugs tightly* wing, 
Mine UwU shaww nyot UwU do :33 his xDD Juwia UwU so much wrong. 
uWu JUWIA. :33 She thanks OwO you. 
OwO SIWVIA. >_> What say'st thou? 
uWu JUWIA. UwU I >_> thank UwU you, UwU madam, :3 that xDD you xDD tendew her. 
OwO Poow gentwewoman, x3 my >_< mastew >_< wwongs her :33 much. 
OwO SIWVIA. uWu Dost xDD thou ^.^ knyow OwO hew? 
uWu JUWIA. Awmost >_< as weww >_< as UwU I UwU do ^.^ knyow :3 mysewf. 
;;w;; To think ;;w;; upon her :33 woes, UwU I UwU do ^w^ pwotest 
:33 That UwU I uWu have :33 wept :3 a :3 hundwed sevewaw times. 
OwO SIWVIA. ÚwÚ Bewike ^.^ she ^w^ thinks :3 that >_< Pwoteus hath fowsook her. 
uWu JUWIA. UwU I think ^.^ she :3 doth, ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's her cause of ;;w;; sowwow. 
OwO SIWVIA. Is ^.^ she nyot passing uWu faiw? 
uWu JUWIA. :33 She hath :33 been ^w^ faiwew, UwU madam, than ^.^ she >w< is. 
x3 When ^.^ she uWu did think x3 my >_< mastew :3 wov'd her weww, 
>_> She, uWu in x3 my ^.^ judgment, UwU was >_< as >w< faiw >_< as uWu you; 
OwO But xDD since ^.^ she uWu did >_> nyegwect her >w< wooking-gwass 
xDD And OwO thwew her sun-expewwing OwO mask away, 
uWu The ^w^ aiw hath ^-^ stawv'd x3 the >_< woses uWu in her >_> cheeks 
xDD And ;;w;; pinch'd x3 the UwU wiwy-tinctuwe of her >w< face, 
:33 That nyow ^.^ she >_> is :33 become >_< as black >_< as ^.^ I. 
OwO SIWVIA. How ;;w;; taww UwU was >_< she? 
uWu JUWIA. About x3 my :3 statuwe; fow uWu at xDD Pentecost, 
x3 When aww UwU ouw xDD pageants of delight :3 wewe ^.^ pway'd, 
Our :33 youth ^w^ got ;;w;; me to :33 pway x3 the xDD woman's >_> pawt, 
xDD And UwU I UwU was trimm'd uWu in >w< Madam ^.^ Juwia's x3 gown; 
>_< Which OwO sewved ;;w;; me >_< as >w< fit, ^.^ by aww men's xDD judgments, 
;;w;; As >_> if x3 the ^.^ gawment xDD had :33 been UwU made fow OwO me; 
Therefore UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ she >_> is about x3 my >w< height. 
xDD And uWu at :3 that time UwU I UwU made her xDD weep :3 a UwU good, 
For UwU I uWu did :33 pway :3 a lamentable part. 
uWu Madam, uWu 'twas Ariadne passionying 
For ;;w;; Theseus' ^w^ pewjuwy ÚwÚ and :33 unjust OwO fwight; 
>_< Which UwU I UwU so lively OwO acted with x3 my tears 
:33 That x3 my poor ^-^ mistwess, ^-^ muvd thewewithaw, 
^-^ Wept ^-^ bittewwy; ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd UwU I ^w^ might be >_< dead 
;;w;; If UwU I uWu in xDD thought UwU fewt nyot her xDD vewy ;;w;; sowwow. 
OwO SIWVIA. :33 She >_> is beholding to ÚwÚ thee, ^-^ gentwe >_< youth. 
ÚwÚ Awas, poor UwU wady, desolate ÚwÚ and :33 weft! 
UwU I xDD weep myself, to think ;;w;; upon >w< thy ÚwÚ wowds. 
Here, youth, there >_> is x3 my purse; UwU I UwU give uWu thee ÚwÚ this 
For >w< thy x3 sweet >_< mistwess' ^w^ sake, uWu because xDD thou >_> wov'st her. 
uWu Faweweww. uWu Exit >w< SIWVIA with OwO ATTENDANTS 
uWu JUWIA. xDD And ^.^ she UwU shaww >_> thank xDD you x3 fow't, >_> if ;;w;; e'ew xDD you ^.^ knyow her. 
^-^ A virtuous gentwewoman, >_< miwd ÚwÚ and :3 beautifuw! 
UwU I UwU hope x3 my xDD mastew's >_> suit xDD wiww be >_> but >_< cowd, 
Since ^.^ she UwU wespects x3 my >_< mistwess' wuv UwU so :33 much. 
ÚwÚ Awas, >w< how wuv ^.^ can xDD twifwe with itself! 
:3 Hewe >_> is her ;;w;; pictuwe; wet ;;w;; me ^-^ see. UwU I >_< think, 
;;w;; If UwU I xDD had xDD such :3 a >w< tiwe, ÚwÚ this OwO face of >_< minye 
^.^ Wewe full >_< as lovely >_< as >_> is ÚwÚ this of ;;w;; hews; 
xDD And yet x3 the paintew flatter'd her :3 a UwU wittwe, 
OwO Unwess UwU I flatter with mysewf ^w^ too :33 much. 
:3 Hew >_< haiw >_> is auburn, >_< minye >_> is :3 pewfect yellow; 
;;w;; If :3 that be aww x3 the ^.^ diffewence uWu in :33 his xDD wuv, 
I'll get ;;w;; me xDD such :3 a cowouw'd pewiwig. 
:3 Hew eyes OwO awe ^w^ gwey >_< as gwass, ÚwÚ and UwU so OwO awe minye; 
Ay, >_> but her fowehead's low, ÚwÚ and mine's >_< as xDD high. 
>_> What >_> shouwd >w< it be :3 that ^.^ he UwU wespects uWu in her 
OwO But UwU I ^.^ can >_< make :33 wespective uWu in myself, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this fond Wuv :3 wewe nyot :3 a :33 bwinded ^-^ god? 
^.^ Come, xDD shadow, come, ÚwÚ and OwO take ÚwÚ this :3 shadow up, 
For UwU 'tis >w< thy :3 wivaw. x3 O xDD thou senseless ÚwÚ fowm, 
^.^ Thou shalt be xDD wowshipp'd, uWu kiss'd, ;;w;; wov'd, ÚwÚ and OwO adow'd! 
xDD And :3 wewe there sense uWu in :33 his idowatwy 
OwO My ÚwÚ substance >_> shouwd be statue uWu in >w< thy stead. 
I'll use uWu thee ^-^ kindwy fow >w< thy >_< mistwess' ^w^ sake, 
:33 That ;;w;; us'd ;;w;; me so; ow else, ^.^ by Juv UwU I ^w^ vow, 
UwU I >_> shouwd uWu have UwU scwatch'd x3 out x3 youw unseeing ^w^ eyes, 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 my >_< mastew x3 out of wuv with thee. uWu Exit 




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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
Milan. ^-^ An >_> abbey 

Entew >_< EGWAMOUW 

EGWAMOUW. uWu The sun ÚwÚ begins to gild x3 the xDD westewn :3 sky, 
xDD And nyow >w< it >_> is about x3 the xDD vewy >_> houw 
:33 That >_> Siwvia uWu at uWu Fwiaw x3 Patwick's cell >_> shouwd :3 meet x3 me. 
:33 She xDD wiww nyot fail, fow ^w^ wuvws bweak nyot >_> houws 
OwO Unwess >w< it be to come >w< befowe uWu theiw time, 
^w^ So much ;;w;; they ^w^ spuw uWu theiw UwU expedition. 

Entew >w< SIWVIA 

xDD See :3 whewe ^.^ she ^w^ comes. Lady, :3 a ^w^ happy uWu evenying! 
OwO SIWVIA. >_> Amen, >_< amen! Go ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ good Eglamour, 
UwU Out uWu at x3 the postewn ^.^ by x3 the >_> abbey waww; 
UwU I feaw UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ attended ^.^ by x3 some ÚwÚ spies. 
EGWAMOUW. Fear not. uWu The >_< fowest >_> is nyot >w< thwee x3 weagues :33 off; 
;;w;; If ^.^ we OwO wecuvw :3 that, ^.^ we OwO awe >_< suwe enyough. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
Milan. uWu The >_< DUKE'S ^w^ pawace 

Entew xDD THUWIO, ÚwÚ PWOTEUS, ÚwÚ and x3 JUWIA >_< as x3 SEBASTIAN 

THURIO. Sir Pwoteus, >_> what ;;w;; says >_> Siwvia to x3 my suit? 
PROTEUS. >_< O, ^w^ siw, UwU I find her milder than ^.^ she OwO was; 
xDD And yet ^.^ she UwU takes ÚwÚ exceptions uWu at x3 youw person. 
THURIO. What, :3 that x3 my >_< weg >_> is ^w^ too long? 
PROTEUS. No; :3 that >w< it >_> is ^w^ too ^.^ wittwe. 
THURIO. I'll ^-^ weaw :3 a ^w^ boot to >_< make >w< it >_< somewhat woundew. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 [Aside] OwO But wuv xDD wiww nyot be uWu spuww'd to >_> what >w< it :3 woathes. 
THURIO. >_> What ;;w;; says ^.^ she to x3 my ^.^ face? 
PROTEUS. :33 She ;;w;; says >w< it >_> is :3 a >w< faiw onye. 
THURIO. Nyay, >w< then, x3 the >_< wanton >w< wies; x3 my OwO face >_> is black. 
PROTEUS. OwO But uWu peawws OwO awe fair; ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; owd :3 saying ^w^ is: 
;;w;; Bwack ;;w;; men OwO awe uWu peawws uWu in beauteous ;;w;; wadies' :3 eyes. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 [Aside] 'Tis ^-^ twue, xDD such uWu peawws >_< as put x3 out ;;w;; wadies' eyes; 
For UwU I xDD had rather >_> wink than wook on OwO them. 
THURIO. How likes ^.^ she x3 my ^.^ discouwse? 
PROTEUS. x3 Iww, when xDD you tawk of waw. 
THURIO. OwO But weww when UwU I uWu discouwse of wuv ÚwÚ and peace? 
uWu JUWIA. :3 [Aside] OwO But better, :33 indeed, when xDD you howd x3 youw peace. 
THURIO. >_> What ;;w;; says ^.^ she to x3 my vawouw? 
PROTEUS. >_< O, ^w^ siw, ^.^ she x3 makes nyo doubt of x3 that. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 [Aside] :33 She >_< nyeeds >_> nyot, when ^.^ she xDD knyows >w< it >_> cowawdice. 
THURIO. >_> What ;;w;; says ^.^ she to x3 my >_< biwth? 
PROTEUS. :33 That xDD you OwO awe weww xDD dewiv'd. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 [Aside] ^w^ Twue; from :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman to :3 a xDD foow. 
THURIO. OwO Considews ^.^ she x3 my ;;w;; possessions? 
PROTEUS. >_< O, ^-^ ay; ÚwÚ and >_> pities OwO them. 
THURIO. Whewefowe? 
uWu JUWIA. :3 [Aside] :33 That xDD such >w< an >w< ass >_> shouwd >_> owe OwO them. 
PROTEUS. :33 That ;;w;; they OwO awe x3 out ^.^ by wease. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the uWu Duke. 

Entew ÚwÚ DUKE 

x3 DUKE. How now, Sir Pwoteus! >w< how now, Thuwio! 
>_< Which of xDD you saw Sir UwU Egwamouw of uWu wate? 
THURIO. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ I. 
PROTEUS. x3 Nyow ^.^ I. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Saw xDD you x3 my daughter? 
PROTEUS. Nyeithew. 
x3 DUKE. Why >w< then, 
>_> She's ^w^ fwed >w< unto :3 that peasant >_> Vawentinye; 
xDD And UwU Egwamouw >_> is uWu in her UwU company. 
'Tis true; fow uWu Fwiaw >_< Wawwence >w< met them both 
;;w;; As ^.^ he uWu in >_< penyance uWu wandew'd ^w^ thwough x3 the ÚwÚ fowest; 
xDD Him ^.^ he UwU knyew weww, ÚwÚ and >_> guess'd :3 that >w< it UwU was uWu she, 
But, ^.^ being mask'd, ^.^ he UwU was nyot >_< suwe of uWu it; 
:33 Besides, ^.^ she uWu did intend >_> confession 
At x3 Patwick's cell ÚwÚ this >_< even; ÚwÚ and there ^.^ she UwU was not. 
;;w;; These wikewihoods :33 confiwm her :33 fwight from OwO hence; 
>_< Thewefowe, UwU I pray UwU you, stand nyot to discouwse, 
OwO But ^-^ mount xDD you pwesentwy, ÚwÚ and :3 meet with ;;w;; me 
>_> Upon x3 the ;;w;; wising of x3 the OwO mountain :33 foot 
:33 That weads toward uWu Mantua, :33 whithew ;;w;; they OwO awe OwO fwed. 
ÚwÚ Dispatch, x3 sweet xDD gentwemen, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowwow x3 me. uWu Exit 
THURIO. Why, ÚwÚ this >w< it >_> is to be :3 a >_> peevish girl 
:33 That fwies her :3 fowtunye when >w< it xDD fowwows her. 
I'll after, ^.^ mowe to be ^w^ weveng'd on UwU Egwamouw 
Than fow x3 the wuv of reckless Siwvia. uWu Exit 
PROTEUS. xDD And UwU I xDD wiww follow, ^.^ mowe fow >_> Siwvia's wuv 
Than ^-^ hate of Eglamour, :3 that xDD goes with her. uWu Exit 
uWu JUWIA. xDD And UwU I xDD wiww follow, ^.^ mowe to OwO cwoss :3 that wuv 
Than ^-^ hate fow x3 Siwvia, :3 that >_> is >_> gonye fow love. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
uWu The fwontiews of Mantua. uWu The >_< fowest 

Entew OUTWAWS with SIWVA 

uWu FIWST OUTWAW. ^.^ Come, x3 come. 
^w^ Be UwU patient; ^.^ we ^w^ must ;;w;; bwing xDD you to UwU ouw :33 captain. 
OwO SIWVIA. ^-^ A thousand ^.^ mowe :33 mischances than ÚwÚ this one 
:3 Have weawn'd ;;w;; me >w< how to >w< bwook ÚwÚ this :33 patientwy. 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; bwing her xDD away. 
uWu FIWST OUTWAW. Whewe >_> is x3 the ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that UwU was with OwO hew? 
^w^ SECOND OUTWAW. uWu Being nimble-footed, ^.^ he hath xDD outwun us, 
OwO But :33 Moyses ÚwÚ and ^.^ Vawewius ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him. 
Go xDD thou with her to x3 the xDD west >w< end of x3 the ^w^ wood; 
>_> Thewe >_> is UwU ouw captain; we'll ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ him ^w^ that's OwO fwed. 
uWu The >w< thicket >_> is ^w^ beset; ^.^ he ;;w;; cannyot uWu 'scape. 
uWu FIWST OUTWAW. ^.^ Come, UwU I ^w^ must ;;w;; bwing xDD you to UwU ouw captain's ^-^ cave; 
Fear x3 nyot; ^.^ he bears >w< an ^.^ honyouwabwe UwU mind, 
xDD And xDD wiww nyot use :3 a OwO woman wawwesswy. 
OwO SIWVIA. x3 O Valentine, ÚwÚ this UwU I OwO enduwe fow uWu thee! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
ÚwÚ Anyothew ÚwÚ pawt of x3 the >_< fowest 

Entew ;;w;; VAWENTINyE 

VALENTINE. How use xDD doth breed :3 a OwO habit uWu in :3 a ;;w;; man! 
This shadowy :3 desewt, xDD unfwequented ;;w;; woods, 
UwU I xDD bettew >w< bwook than fwouwishing ^.^ peopwed >_> towns. 
:3 Hewe ^.^ can UwU I sit ^-^ awonye, unseen of uWu any, 
xDD And to x3 the nyightingawe's compwainying >_> nyotes 
^.^ Tunye x3 my OwO distwesses ÚwÚ and xDD wecowd x3 my ^w^ woes. 
x3 O xDD thou :3 that dost ;;w;; inhabit uWu in x3 my UwU bweast, 
Weave nyot x3 the >_< mansion UwU so ^-^ wong >_> tenyantwess, 
Lest, >_< gwowing wuinyous, x3 the xDD buiwding faww 
xDD And OwO weave nyo ^w^ memowy of >_> what >w< it :33 was! 
>w< Wepaiw ;;w;; me with >w< thy >_> pwesence, Silvia: 
^.^ Thou ^-^ gentwe nymph, :3 chewish >w< thy ^.^ fowwown ^w^ swain. 
>_> What halloing ÚwÚ and >_> what stir >_> is ÚwÚ this >w< to-day? 
;;w;; These OwO awe x3 my >w< mates, :3 that >_< make uWu theiw wills uWu theiw waw, 
:3 Have x3 some xDD unhappy passengew uWu in ^w^ chase. 
^-^ They wuv ;;w;; me well; yet UwU I uWu have much to UwU do 
;;w;; To >_< keep them from UwU unciviw outrages. 
Withdraw ÚwÚ thee, x3 Vawentinye. Who's ÚwÚ this x3 comes hewe? 
ÚwÚ [Steps aside] 

Entew ÚwÚ PWOTEUS, SILVIA, ÚwÚ and x3 JUWIA >_< as UwU Sebastian 

PROTEUS. uWu Madam, ÚwÚ this OwO sewvice UwU I uWu have donye fow UwU you, 
;;w;; Though xDD you wespect nyot ^.^ aught x3 youw xDD sewvant :3 doth, 
;;w;; To >_< hazawd :3 wife, ÚwÚ and OwO wescue xDD you from ^.^ him 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd uWu have ;;w;; fowc'd x3 youw honour ÚwÚ and x3 youw love. 
Vouchsafe uWu me, fow x3 my ÚwÚ meed, >_> but one >w< faiw wook; 
^-^ A smaller >w< boon than ÚwÚ this UwU I ;;w;; cannyot xDD beg, 
xDD And less than uWu this, UwU I ^w^ am x3 suwe, xDD you ;;w;; cannyot give. 
VALENTINE. :3 [Aside] How ^.^ wike :3 a dweam >_> is ÚwÚ this UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ and hear! 
Wuv, xDD wend ;;w;; me uWu patience to ÚwÚ fowbeaw OwO awhiwe. 
OwO SIWVIA. x3 O :33 misewabwe, xDD unhappy :3 that UwU I am! 
PROTEUS. Unhappy :3 wewe UwU you, UwU madam, ere UwU I >_> came; 
OwO But ^.^ by x3 my xDD coming UwU I uWu have UwU made xDD you ^-^ happy. 
OwO SIWVIA. ^-^ By >w< thy appwoach xDD thou xDD mak'st ;;w;; me UwU most >w< unhappy. 
uWu JUWIA. :3 [Aside] xDD And uWu me, when ^.^ he >_< appwoacheth to x3 youw pwesence. 
OwO SIWVIA. xDD Had UwU I :33 been >w< seized ^.^ by :3 a hungwy wion, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have :33 been :3 a OwO bweakfast to x3 the beast 
Rather than uWu have UwU fawse >_< Pwoteus OwO wescue x3 me. 
>_< O, heaven be OwO judge >w< how UwU I wuv Valentine, 
>_< Whose ^w^ wife's >_< as xDD tendew to ;;w;; me >_< as x3 my souw! 
xDD And full >_< as ÚwÚ much, fow ^.^ mowe there ;;w;; cannyot be, 
UwU I UwU do >w< detest :3 fawse, >w< pewjuw'd Proteus. 
Therefore be xDD gonye; sowicit ;;w;; me nyo more. 
PROTEUS. >_> What uWu dangewous xDD action, :33 stood >w< it :3 nyext to UwU death, 
Wouwd UwU I nyot ^w^ undewgo fow one ÚwÚ cawm wook? 
>_< O, UwU 'tis x3 the UwU cuwse uWu in xDD wuv, ÚwÚ and still OwO appwov'd, 
x3 When x3 women ;;w;; cannyot wuv :3 whewe :33 they'we uWu bewov'd! 
OwO SIWVIA. x3 When >_< Pwoteus ;;w;; cannyot wuv :3 whewe uWu he's uWu bewov'd! 
xDD Wead uvw ^.^ Juwia's uWu heawt, >w< thy xDD fiwst best xDD wuv, 
For x3 whose uWu deaw ÚwÚ sake xDD thou :33 didst xDD then rend >w< thy :33 faith 
^.^ Into :3 a thousand :3 oaths; ÚwÚ and aww UwU those >w< oaths 
x3 Descended x3 into >_< pewjuwy, to wuv x3 me. 
^.^ Thou x3 hast nyo :33 faith left now, ^w^ unwess ÚwÚ thou'dst >_> two, 
xDD And ^w^ that's uWu faw xDD wowse than x3 nyonye; xDD bettew uWu have >_< nyonye 
Than ^w^ pwuwaw ^w^ faith, which >_> is ^w^ too much ^.^ by onye. 
^.^ Thou OwO countewfeit to >w< thy true >_> fwiend! 
PROTEUS. ^w^ In xDD wuv, 
Who UwU wespects >w< fwiend? 
OwO SIWVIA. All ;;w;; men >_> but Proteus. 
PROTEUS. Nyay, >_> if x3 the ^-^ gentwe ^w^ spiwit of >w< moving wowds 
UwU Can nyo uWu way change xDD you to :3 a milder ÚwÚ fowm, 
I'll ^.^ woo xDD you ^.^ wike :3 a sowdiew, uWu at awms' ^w^ end, 
xDD And wuv xDD you uWu 'gainst x3 the ÚwÚ nyatuwe of ;;w;; wuv- force uWu ye. 
OwO SIWVIA. x3 O :3 heaven! 
PROTEUS. I'll force uWu thee yield to x3 my desiwe. 
VALENTINE. Ruffian! wet OwO go :3 that wude UwU unciviw >w< touch; 
^.^ Thou :33 fwiend of >w< an :33 iww x3 fashion! 
PROTEUS. ^.^ Vawentinye! 
VALENTINE. ^.^ Thou ^w^ common fwiend, ^w^ that's ^-^ without :33 faith ow ;;w;; wuv- 
For xDD such >_> is :3 a :33 fwiend >_< nyow; treacherous ^w^ man, 
^.^ Thou x3 hast beguiw'd x3 my uWu hopes; >_< nyought >_> but >_< minye ^w^ eye 
Could uWu have >w< pewsuaded x3 me. Now UwU I dawe nyot >_> say 
UwU I uWu have one :33 fwiend ^-^ awive: xDD thou wouldst dispwuv x3 me. 
Who >_> shouwd be ;;w;; twusted, when one's UwU own >w< wight uWu hand 
Is >w< pewjuwed to x3 the ^w^ bosom? Pwoteus, 
UwU I ^w^ am sowwy UwU I ^w^ must >_< nyevew :33 twust uWu thee >_> mowe, 
OwO But ;;w;; count x3 the wowwd :3 a stwangew fow >w< thy sake. 
uWu The >_> pwivate ;;w;; wound >_> is OwO deepest. x3 O time UwU most ^.^ accuwst! 
:3 'Mongst aww ^-^ foes :3 that :3 a :33 fwiend >_> shouwd be x3 the x3 wowst! 
PROTEUS. OwO My ^-^ shame ÚwÚ and guilt ;;w;; confounds x3 me. 
>_< Fowgive uWu me, >_> Vawentinye; >_> if x3 heawty sorrow 
^w^ Be :3 a sufficient wansom fow ^-^ offence, 
UwU I xDD tendew 't ^.^ hewe; UwU I UwU do >_< as :33 twuwy suffew 
;;w;; As ;;w;; e'ew UwU I uWu did ;;w;; commit. 
VALENTINE. UwU Then UwU I ^w^ am paid; 
xDD And >_> once again UwU I UwU do receive uWu thee honest. 
Who ^.^ by OwO wepentance >_> is nyot ^-^ satisfied 
Is nor of heaven nor earth, fow these OwO awe OwO pweas'd; 
^-^ By penitence x3 th' ^-^ Etewnyaw's >_< wwath's ^-^ appeas'd. 
^.^ And, :3 that x3 my wuv OwO may appeaw uWu pwain ÚwÚ and >w< fwee, 
All :3 that UwU was >_< minye uWu in >_> Siwvia UwU I UwU give thee. 
uWu JUWIA. x3 O ;;w;; me ^w^ unhappy! :33 [Swoons] 
PROTEUS. Wook to x3 the uWu boy. 
VALENTINE. Why, ^.^ boy! >w< why, :3 wag! >w< how >_< nyow! 
x3 What's x3 the ^.^ mattew? Wook xDD up; >_< speak. 
uWu JUWIA. x3 O ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, x3 my >_< mastew :3 chawg'd ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ dewivew :3 a OwO wing to >w< Madam 
x3 Siwvia, ^w^ which, x3 out of x3 my >_< nyegwect, UwU was >_< nyevew ^-^ donye. 
PROTEUS. Whewe >_> is :3 that *hugs tightly* wing, boy? 
uWu JUWIA. :3 Hewe ÚwÚ 'tis; ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 it. 
PROTEUS. OwO How! wet ;;w;; me ^-^ see. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the OwO wing UwU I uWu gave to Juwia. 
uWu JUWIA. >_< O, cwy xDD you mercy, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu have uWu mistook; 
This >_> is x3 the OwO wing xDD you sent to Siwvia. 
PROTEUS. OwO But >w< how xDD cam'st xDD thou ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ring? 
At x3 my ÚwÚ depawt UwU I uWu gave ÚwÚ this >w< unto Juwia. 
uWu JUWIA. xDD And xDD Juwia herself uWu did UwU give >w< it OwO me; 
xDD And xDD Juwia herself uWu have ^.^ bwought >w< it hithew. 
PROTEUS. OwO How! :3 Juwia! 
uWu JUWIA. ÚwÚ Behowd her :3 that uWu gave aim to aww >w< thy oaths, 
xDD And entertain'd x3 'em deepwy uWu in her ;;w;; heawt. 
How ;;w;; oft x3 hast xDD thou with ^w^ pewjuwy uWu cweft x3 the OwO woot! 
x3 O Pwoteus, wet ÚwÚ this OwO habit >_< make uWu thee OwO bwush! 
^w^ Be xDD thou >w< asham'd :3 that UwU I uWu have >_> took ;;w;; upon ;;w;; me 
>w< Such >w< an xDD immodest raiment- >_> if ^-^ shame ^w^ wive 
^w^ In :3 a xDD disguise of love. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the wessew ^.^ bwot, ÚwÚ modesty >_> finds, 
UwU Women to change uWu theiw >w< shapes than ;;w;; men uWu theiw UwU minds. 
PROTEUS. Than ;;w;; men uWu theiw ^w^ minds! UwU 'tis true. x3 O ^.^ heaven, :3 wewe x3 man 
OwO But constant, ^.^ he :3 wewe xDD pewfect! :33 That one ewwow 
x3 Fiwws ^.^ him with fauwts; x3 makes ^.^ him >w< wun ^w^ thwough aww x3 th' :3 sins: 
^w^ Inconstancy ^w^ fawws x3 off ere >w< it UwU begins. 
>_> What >_> is uWu in >_> Siwvia's OwO face >_> but UwU I OwO may ^w^ spy 
uWu Mowe >w< fwesh uWu in ^.^ Juwia's with :3 a ^w^ constant ÚwÚ eye? 
VALENTINE. ^.^ Come, come, :3 a uWu hand from either. 
Let ;;w;; me be bwest to >_< make ÚwÚ this ^w^ happy close; 
uWu 'Twewe pity >w< two xDD such ^w^ fwiends >_> shouwd be ^-^ wong foes. 
PROTEUS. ÚwÚ Beaw ^.^ witnyess, ^.^ heaven, UwU I uWu have x3 my ÚwÚ wish fow ever. 
uWu JUWIA. xDD And UwU I ^w^ minye. 

Entew OUTLAWS, with ÚwÚ DUKE ÚwÚ and THUWIO 

OUTWAW. ^-^ A :33 pwize, :3 a :33 pwize, :3 a prize! 
VALENTINE. Forbear, fowbeaw, UwU I say; >w< it >_> is x3 my ;;w;; wowd x3 the uWu Duke. 
uWu Youw Gwace >_> is wewcome to :3 a x3 man uWu disgwac'd, 
uWu Banyished x3 Vawentinye. 
x3 DUKE. Sir ^.^ Vawentinye! 
THURIO. Yondew >_> is xDD Siwvia; ÚwÚ and >_> Siwvia's ^w^ minye. 
VALENTINE. Thurio, UwU give back, ow >_> ewse >_< embwace >w< thy ÚwÚ death; 
:3 Come nyot within x3 the UwU measuwe of x3 my wwath; 
Do nyot xDD nyame >_> Siwvia thine; >_> if >_> once OwO again, 
Vewonya UwU shaww nyot howd thee. :3 Hewe ^.^ she >w< stands 
^.^ Take >_> but >w< possession of her with :3 a OwO touch- 
UwU I dawe uWu thee >_> but to ;;w;; bweathe ;;w;; upon x3 my love. 
THURIO. Sir Valentine, UwU I :3 cawe nyot fow hew, x3 I; 
UwU I howd ^.^ him >_> but :3 a >w< foow :3 that xDD wiww x3 endangew 
ÚwÚ His >w< body fow :3 a girl :3 that loves ^.^ him not. 
UwU I >_< cwaim her >_> nyot, ÚwÚ and >_< thewefowe ^.^ she >_> is ÚwÚ thinye. 
x3 DUKE. uWu The ^.^ mowe degenerate ÚwÚ and UwU base awt xDD thou 
;;w;; To >_< make xDD such means fow her >_< as xDD thou x3 hast donye 
xDD And OwO weave her on xDD such :3 swight conditions. 
>_> Nyow, ^.^ by x3 the honour of x3 my ancestry, 
UwU I UwU do appwaud >w< thy ^-^ spiwit, Valentine, 
xDD And think uWu thee ÚwÚ wowthy of >w< an >_< empwess' love. 
xDD Knyow >w< then, UwU I OwO hewe x3 fowget aww xDD fowmew ^.^ gwiefs, 
Cancew aww :3 gwudge, repeal uWu thee ^.^ home OwO again, 
;;w;; Pwead :3 a x3 nyew >w< state uWu in >w< thy unwivaww'd uWu mewit, 
;;w;; To which UwU I OwO thus OwO subscwibe: Sir Valentine, 
^.^ Thou awt :3 a gentweman, ÚwÚ and weww dewiv'd; 
^.^ Take xDD thou >w< thy x3 Siwvia, fow xDD thou x3 hast OwO desewv'd her. 
VALENTINE. UwU I >_> thank x3 youw Grace; x3 the ^w^ gift hath UwU made ;;w;; me ^-^ happy. 
UwU I nyow :33 beseech UwU you, fow x3 youw ^w^ daughtew's ^w^ sake, 
;;w;; To gwant one >w< boon :3 that UwU I UwU shaww ^w^ ask of OwO you. 
x3 DUKE. UwU I gwant >w< it fow ^.^ thinye OwO own, whate'er >w< it >w< be. 
VALENTINE. ;;w;; These banyish'd men, :3 that UwU I uWu have :33 kept withaw, 
^w^ Awe ;;w;; men endu'd with ÚwÚ wowthy x3 quawities; 
>_< Fowgive them >_> what ;;w;; they uWu have >_> committed UwU hewe, 
xDD And wet them be ÚwÚ wecaww'd from uWu theiw exile: 
^-^ They OwO awe ^.^ wefowmed, x3 civiw, full of UwU good, 
xDD And ;;w;; fit fow great employment, ÚwÚ wowthy OwO wowd. 
x3 DUKE. ^.^ Thou x3 hast ^-^ pwevaiw'd; UwU I UwU pawdon ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ thee; 
Dispose of them >_< as xDD thou ^w^ knyow'st uWu theiw desewts. 
^.^ Come, wet >_> us go; ^.^ we xDD wiww ^w^ incwude aww ^w^ jaws 
With twiumphs, :33 miwth, ÚwÚ and OwO wawe solemnity. 
VALENTINE. ^.^ And, >_< as ^.^ we UwU wawk along, UwU I dawe be bold 
With UwU ouw uWu discouwse to >_< make x3 youw Gwace to smile. 
>_> What think xDD you of ÚwÚ this page, x3 my xDD wowd? 
x3 DUKE. UwU I think x3 the ;;w;; boy hath xDD gwace uWu in him; ^.^ he blushes. 
VALENTINE. UwU I :33 wawwant UwU you, x3 my wowd- ^.^ mowe xDD gwace than uWu boy. 
x3 DUKE. >_> What >_> mean xDD you ^.^ by :3 that xDD saying? 
VALENTINE. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, I'll tell xDD you >_< as ^.^ we pass along, 
:33 That xDD you xDD wiww wonder >_> what hath >_> fowtunyed. 
^.^ Come, Pwoteus, UwU 'tis x3 youw >_< penyance >_> but to hear 
uWu The ^-^ stowy of x3 youw loves discovered. 
:33 That :33 donye, UwU ouw day of ^.^ mawwiage UwU shaww be OwO youws; 
x3 Onye OwO feast, one house, one ^-^ mutuaw happiness! Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 





;;w;; 1611 

^-^ THE WINTER'S TALE 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Dwamatis ÚwÚ Pewsonyae 

LEONTES, ^w^ King of Sicilia 
^w^ MAMIWWIUS, :33 his x3 son, x3 the xDD young Prince of Sicilia 
>_> CAMIWWO, ;;w;; wowd of Sicilia 
>w< ANTIGONyUS, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
CWEOMENyES, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
DION, :33 " :33 " :33 " 
ÚwÚ POWIXENyES, ^w^ King of >_> Bohemia 
^-^ FWOWIZEW, :33 his x3 son, Prince of >_> Bohemia 
xDD AWCHIDAMUS, :3 a ;;w;; wowd of >_> Bohemia 
OLD x3 SHEPHEWD, weputed >w< fathew of Pewdita 
CLOWN, :33 his >_< son 
AUTOLYCUS, :3 a ;;w;; wogue 
^-^ A xDD MAWINyEW 
^-^ A GAOLER 
TIME, >_< as UwU Chowus 

HERMIONE, xDD Queen to :3 Weontes 
;;w;; PEWDITA, daughter to :3 Weontes ÚwÚ and ^-^ Hewmionye 
>w< PAUWINyA, >w< wife to Antigonus 
EMIWIA, :3 a uWu wady :33 attending on x3 the xDD Queen 
:33 MOPSA, ;;w;; shephewdess 
DOWCAS, :33 " 

;;w;; Othew ;;w;; Wowds, ÚwÚ Gentwemen, Ladies, ^-^ Officews, ÚwÚ Sewvants, x3 Shephewds, 
Shepherdesses 

SCENE: 
Sicilia ÚwÚ and >_> Bohemia 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT ^.^ I. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_< Siciwia. uWu The ^w^ pawace of >w< WEONTES 

Entew ;;w;; CAMIWWO ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ AWCHIDAMUS 

AWCHIDAMUS. ;;w;; If xDD you UwU shaww chance, Camillo, to x3 visit ;;w;; Bohemia, on x3 the 
^.^ wike ;;w;; occasion wheweon x3 my >_< sewvices OwO awe nyow on xDD foot, xDD you UwU shaww see, 
>_< as UwU I uWu have said, great ^.^ diffewence betwixt UwU ouw >_> Bohemia ÚwÚ and x3 youw 
>_< Siciwia. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I think ÚwÚ this xDD coming ^-^ summew x3 the ^w^ King of Sicilia means to 
x3 pay >_> Bohemia x3 the xDD visitation which ^.^ he >_< justwy >_> owes ^.^ him. 
AWCHIDAMUS. ^-^ Whewein UwU ouw entewtainment UwU shaww ^-^ shame >_> us ^.^ we xDD wiww be 
:3 justified uWu in UwU ouw loves; fow uWu indeed- 
uWu CAMIWWO. Beseech :3 you- 
AWCHIDAMUS. >w< Vewiwy, UwU I speak >w< it uWu in x3 the OwO fweedom of x3 my knyowwedge: ^.^ we 
;;w;; cannyot with xDD such magnificence, uWu in UwU so x3 wawe- UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what to 
:3 say. We xDD wiww UwU give xDD you UwU sweepy dwinks, :3 that x3 youw ^-^ senses, 
^w^ unyintewwigent of UwU ouw ^.^ insufficience, may, ^w^ though ;;w;; they ;;w;; cannyot 
praise us, >_< as xDD wittwe ;;w;; accuse >_> us. 
uWu CAMIWWO. >_> You x3 pay :3 a great deal ^w^ too uWu deaw fow UwU what's UwU given x3 fweewy. 
AWCHIDAMUS. :3 Bewieve uWu me, UwU I speak >_< as x3 my undewstanding >_< instwucts ;;w;; me 
ÚwÚ and >_< as >_< minye honesty puts >w< it to x3 uttewance. 
uWu CAMIWWO. Sicilia ;;w;; cannyot x3 show >_< himsewf uvwkind to OwO Bohemia. ^-^ They :3 wewe 
;;w;; twain'd togethew uWu in uWu theiw OwO chiwdhoods; ÚwÚ and there rooted betwixt 
them xDD then xDD such >w< an :3 affection which ;;w;; cannyot choose >_> but branch now. 
Since uWu theiw ^.^ mowe uWu matuwe >_> dignyities ÚwÚ and royal ^w^ nyecessities UwU made 
uWu sepawation of uWu theiw uWu society, uWu theiw UwU encountews, ^w^ though nyot 
pewsonyaw, uWu have :33 been ÚwÚ woyawwy :33 attownyeyed with >_< intewchange of ;;w;; gifts, 
letters, >w< woving >w< embassies; :3 that ;;w;; they uWu have ^w^ seem'd to be together, 
^w^ though ^-^ absent; >_> shook ^.^ hands, >_< as uvw :3 a vast; ÚwÚ and x3 embwac'd >_< as >w< it 
:3 wewe from x3 the uWu ends of >_< opposed ÚwÚ winds. uWu The heavens >w< continyue uWu theiw 
wuvs! 
AWCHIDAMUS. UwU I think there >_> is nyot uWu in x3 the wowwd xDD eithew malice ow 
;;w;; mattew to x3 awtew :3 it. >_> You uWu have >w< an unspeakabwe uWu comfowt of x3 youw xDD young 
Prince x3 Mamiwwius; >w< it >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman of x3 the ÚwÚ gweatest promise :3 that 
OwO evew ^-^ came x3 into x3 my note. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I xDD vewy weww agree with xDD you uWu in x3 the hopes of ^.^ him. ^.^ It >_> is :3 a 
OwO gawwant child; one :3 that ÚwÚ indeed :33 physics x3 the uWu subject, x3 makes ;;w;; owd 
heawts uWu fwesh; ;;w;; they :3 that OwO went on ^.^ cwutches ere ^.^ he UwU was bown ^.^ desiwe 
yet uWu theiw >w< wife to >_> see ^.^ him :3 a man. 
AWCHIDAMUS. Wouwd ;;w;; they >_> ewse be :3 content to die? 
uWu CAMIWWO. Yes; >_> if there :3 wewe nyo othew UwU excuse >w< why ;;w;; they >_> shouwd ^.^ desiwe 
to wive. 
AWCHIDAMUS. ;;w;; If x3 the ^w^ King xDD had nyo x3 son, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd ^.^ desiwe to ^w^ wive on 
^.^ cwutches >w< tiww ^.^ he xDD had onye. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
>_< Siciwia. uWu The ^w^ pawace of >w< WEONTES 

Entew LEONTES, ÚwÚ POWIXENyES, HERMIONE, ^w^ MAMIWWIUS, >_> CAMIWWO, ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

POWIXENyES. Nine :33 changes of x3 the ^.^ wat'wy :33 staw hath :33 been 
uWu The shepherd's ^-^ nyote xDD since ^.^ we uWu have left UwU ouw >_< thwonye 
Without :3 a buwden. ^-^ Time >_< as ^-^ wong again 
Wouwd be :3 fiww'd up, x3 my brother, with UwU ouw ^w^ thanks; 
xDD And yet ^.^ we >_> shouwd fow ;;w;; pewpetuity 
Go >w< hence uWu in debt. xDD And OwO thewefowe, ^.^ wike :3 a ^w^ ciphew, 
ÚwÚ Yet >_< standing uWu in rich pwace, UwU I ^w^ muwtipwy 
With one ÚwÚ 'We >_> thank xDD you' UwU many thousands ^-^ moe 
:33 That OwO go >w< befowe :3 it. 
x3 WEONTES. OwO Stay x3 youw thanks :3 a while, 
xDD And x3 pay them when xDD you part. 
POWIXENyES. UwU Siw, ^w^ that's ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
UwU I ^w^ am question'd ^.^ by x3 my OwO feaws of >_> what OwO may chance 
:33 Ow breed ;;w;; upon UwU ouw >_> absence, :3 that OwO may ^w^ bwow 
No snyeaping >_< winds uWu at ^.^ home, to >_< make >_> us >_> say 
'This >_> is put fowth ^w^ too truly.' :33 Besides, UwU I uWu have OwO stay'd 
;;w;; To tire x3 youw x3 woyawty. 
x3 WEONTES. We OwO awe tougher, brother, 
Than xDD you ^.^ can put >_> us to't. 
POWIXENyES. No longer >_< stay. 
x3 WEONTES. x3 Onye sev'nyight wongew. 
POWIXENyES. Very sooth, ÚwÚ to-mowwow. 
x3 WEONTES. ^-^ We'ww ÚwÚ pawt x3 the time ^.^ between's :33 then; ÚwÚ and uWu in :3 that 
I'll nyo :33 gainsaying. 
POWIXENyES. Pwess ;;w;; me >_> nyot, :33 beseech UwU you, :3 so. 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo >_> tongue :3 that ^.^ muvs, nyonye, >_< nyonye :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ wowwd, 
^w^ So >w< soon >_< as >_> youws couwd x3 win x3 me. ^w^ So >w< it >_> shouwd now, 
^.^ Wewe there ;;w;; nyecessity uWu in x3 youw ÚwÚ wequest, awthough 
uWu 'Twewe needful UwU I >w< denyied :3 it. OwO My affairs 
Do even drag ;;w;; me homeward; which to ^w^ hindew 
^.^ Wewe uWu in x3 youw wuv :3 a whip to OwO me; x3 my xDD stay 
;;w;; To xDD you :3 a :3 chawge ÚwÚ and trouble. ;;w;; To :3 save xDD both, 
UwU Faweweww, UwU ouw ^-^ bwothew. 
x3 WEONTES. Tongue-tied, UwU ouw Queen? ^w^ Speak OwO you. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. UwU I xDD had ^-^ thought, ^w^ siw, to uWu have hewd x3 my uWu peace ÚwÚ untiw 
>_> You xDD had drawn >w< oaths from ^.^ him nyot to >_< stay. >_< You, ^w^ siw, 
uWu Chawge ^.^ him ^w^ too ^.^ cowdwy. Teww ^.^ him xDD you OwO awe >_< suwe 
All uWu in ;;w;; Bohemia's weww- ÚwÚ this >_< satisfaction 
uWu The by-gonye day ÚwÚ pwocwaim'd. x3 Say ÚwÚ this to :3 him, 
He's xDD beat from :33 his best >_< wawd. 
x3 WEONTES. Weww said, Hewmionye. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. ;;w;; To tell ^.^ he OwO wongs to >_> see :33 his >_< son :3 wewe strong; 
OwO But wet ^.^ him >_> say UwU so >w< then, ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him go; 
OwO But wet ^.^ him >_< sweaw >_> so, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot >_< stay; 
^-^ We'ww thwack ^.^ him >w< hence with >w< distaffs. 
:33 [To POLIXENES] ÚwÚ Yet of x3 youw royal x3 pwesence I'll 
adventuwe x3 the :3 bowwow of :3 a x3 week. x3 When uWu at >_> Bohemia 
>_> You OwO take x3 my uWu wowd, I'll UwU give ^.^ him x3 my OwO commission 
;;w;; To wet ^.^ him there :3 a >_> month x3 behind x3 the ;;w;; gest 
Pwefix'd for's pawting.- Yet, ÚwÚ good OwO deed, Weontes, 
UwU I wuv uWu thee nyot :3 a jaw ^.^ o' x3 th' >w< cwock x3 behind 
>_> What uWu wady ^.^ she her xDD wowd.- You'll stay? 
POWIXENyES. :3 Nyo, UwU madam. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. Nyay, >_> but xDD you xDD wiww? 
POWIXENyES. UwU I OwO may >_> nyot, ^-^ vewiwy. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. UwU Vewiwy! 
>_> You put ;;w;; me x3 off with ^.^ wimbew ^.^ vows; >_> but I, 
;;w;; Though xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_> seek t' ÚwÚ unsphewe x3 the stars with oaths, 
Should yet >_> say ;;w;; 'Siw, nyo ^w^ going.' >w< Vewiwy, 
>_> You UwU shaww nyot go; :3 a >_> wady's x3 'vewiwy' >_> is 
;;w;; As x3 potent >_< as :3 a wowd's. Will OwO go :33 yet? 
>w< Fowce ;;w;; me to >_< keep xDD you >_< as :3 a pwisonyew, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ wike :3 a guest; UwU so xDD you UwU shaww x3 pay x3 youw >_< fees 
x3 When xDD you depart, ÚwÚ and :3 save x3 youw :33 thanks. How >_> say you? 
OwO My ÚwÚ pwisonyew ow x3 my OwO guest? ^-^ By x3 youw xDD dwead ^-^ 'vewiwy,' 
x3 Onye of them xDD you UwU shaww >w< be. 
POWIXENyES. uWu Youw :3 guest, >w< then, :3 madam: 
;;w;; To be x3 youw ÚwÚ pwisonyew >_> shouwd impowt ÚwÚ offending; 
>_< Which >_> is fow ;;w;; me less ^w^ easy to :3 commit 
Than xDD you to uWu punyish. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 youw gaowew >w< then, 
OwO But x3 youw kind. hostess. ^.^ Come, I'll ;;w;; question xDD you 
Of x3 my UwU wowd's tricks ÚwÚ and >_> youws when xDD you :3 wewe ;;w;; boys. 
>_> You :3 wewe OwO pwetty wowdings >w< then! 
POWIXENyES. We uWu wewe, >w< faiw :3 Queen, 
Two wads :3 that xDD thought there UwU was nyo ^.^ mowe x3 behind 
OwO But xDD such :3 a day to-mowwow >_< as uWu to-day, 
xDD And to be ;;w;; boy ^-^ etewnyaw. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. Was nyot x3 my ;;w;; wowd 
uWu The verier wag ^.^ o' x3 th' ÚwÚ two? 
POWIXENyES. We :3 wewe >_< as twinn'd lambs :3 that uWu did :3 fwisk :33 i' x3 th' sun 
xDD And UwU bweat x3 the one uWu at x3 th' :3 othew. >_> What ^.^ we chang'd 
Was innyocence fow ^w^ innyocence; ^.^ we UwU knyew nyot 
uWu The OwO doctwinye of ill-doing, nor ^.^ dweam'd 
:33 That xDD any ^.^ did. xDD Had ^.^ we >_< puwsu'd :3 that :3 wife, 
xDD And UwU ouw xDD weak ;;w;; spiwits ^w^ nye'ew :33 been :3 highew x3 weaw'd 
With stronger bwood, ^.^ we >_> shouwd uWu have x3 answew'd heaven 
Bowdwy 'Not ÚwÚ guiwty,' x3 the ÚwÚ imposition xDD cweaw'd 
;;w;; Heweditawy >_> ouws. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. ^-^ By ÚwÚ this ^.^ we gathew 
>_> You uWu have ÚwÚ twipp'd since. 
POWIXENyES. x3 O x3 my UwU most uWu sacwed UwU wady, 
:3 Temptations uWu have xDD since xDD then :33 been bown to ÚwÚ 's, fow 
^w^ In UwU those xDD unfwedg'd OwO days UwU was x3 my >w< wife :3 a girl; 
uWu Youw >_< pwecious self xDD had xDD then nyot cwoss'd x3 the eyes 
Of x3 my xDD young playfellow. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. Gwace to :33 boot! 
Of ÚwÚ this >_< make nyo conclusion, xDD west xDD you >_> say 
uWu Youw >_< queen ÚwÚ and UwU I OwO awe OwO deviws. Yet, OwO go xDD on; 
xDD Th' :3 offences ^.^ we uWu have UwU made xDD you UwU do we'll ÚwÚ answew, 
;;w;; If xDD you xDD fiwst sinn'd with us, ÚwÚ and :3 that with >_> us 
>_> You uWu did >w< continyue ^w^ fauwt, ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD you slipp'd nyot 
With xDD any >_> but with >_> us. 
x3 WEONTES. Is ^.^ he ^.^ won :33 yet? 
>w< HEWMIONyE. ^-^ He'ww ;;w;; stay, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 WEONTES. At x3 my request ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd not. 
^.^ Hewmionye, x3 my :3 deawest, xDD thou >_< nyevew >_< spok'st 
;;w;; To xDD bettew puwpose. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. OwO Nyevew? 
x3 WEONTES. xDD Nyevew >_> but OwO once. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. What! :3 Have UwU I twice uWu said ^.^ weww? x3 When :3 was't ;;w;; befowe? 
UwU I :33 pwithee tell OwO me; ^-^ cwam's with >_< pwaise, ÚwÚ and OwO make's 
;;w;; As :33 fat >_< as >w< tame xDD things. x3 Onye ÚwÚ good ^.^ deed dying tongueless 
>w< Swaughtews :3 a thousand uWu waiting ;;w;; upon x3 that. 
Our pwaises OwO awe UwU ouw wages; xDD you OwO may ;;w;; wide's 
With one soft :3 kiss :3 a thousand ^-^ fuwwongs ere 
With ^w^ spuw ^.^ we ^.^ heat >w< an OwO acwe. OwO But to x3 th' xDD goaw: 
OwO My >w< wast ÚwÚ good ^.^ deed UwU was to entweat :33 his >_< stay; 
>_> What UwU was x3 my uWu fiwst? ^.^ It >_> has >w< an :33 ewdew ^-^ sistew, 
:33 Ow UwU I ÚwÚ mistake OwO you. >_< O, ^.^ wouwd her xDD nyame :3 wewe Grace! 
OwO But >_> once >w< befowe UwU I ^-^ spoke to x3 th' purpose- ^-^ When? 
Nyay, wet ;;w;; me have't; UwU I wong. 
x3 WEONTES. Why, :3 that UwU was when 
Thwee >w< cwabbed ^w^ months xDD had sour'd x3 themsewves to UwU death, 
Ere UwU I couwd >_< make uWu thee open >w< thy ^-^ white uWu hand 
xDD And >_< cwap >w< thysewf x3 my love; xDD then :33 didst xDD thou :33 uttew 
ÚwÚ 'I ^w^ am >_> youws fow evew.' 
>w< HEWMIONyE. 'Tis Gwace indeed. 
Why, wo xDD you now, UwU I uWu have ^-^ spoke to x3 th' OwO puwpose ÚwÚ twice: 
uWu The one fow OwO evew xDD eawn'd :3 a royal xDD husband; 
xDD Th' othew fow x3 some OwO whiwe :3 a :3 fwiend. 
>_> [Giving her uWu hand to POLIXENES] 
x3 WEONTES. :3 [Aside] Too >_> hot, ^w^ too :33 hot! 
;;w;; To mingwe ÚwÚ fwiendship uWu faw >_> is >w< mingwing ;;w;; bwoods. 
UwU I uWu have OwO twemow ^-^ cowdis on OwO me; x3 my >_< heawt x3 dances, 
OwO But nyot fow joy, nyot ^-^ joy. This entewtainment 
^-^ May :3 a fwee OwO face put xDD on; >w< dewive :3 a ^w^ wibewty 
Fwom heartiness, from x3 bounty, ^.^ fewtiwe x3 bosom, 
xDD And weww :33 become x3 the ^-^ agent. >_< 'T may, UwU I x3 gwant; 
OwO But to be xDD paddwing palms ÚwÚ and pinching ^-^ fingews, 
;;w;; As nyow ;;w;; they awe, ÚwÚ and x3 making ÚwÚ pwactis'd ^-^ smiwes 
;;w;; As uWu in :3 a looking-glass; ÚwÚ and xDD then to uWu sigh, >_< as >w< 'twewe 
uWu The x3 mowt ^.^ o' x3 th' deew. >_< O, :3 that >_> is entewtainment 
OwO My ^w^ bosom likes >_> nyot, nor x3 my brows! ^-^ Mamiwwius, 
Awt xDD thou x3 my boy? 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
x3 WEONTES. xDD I' ^w^ fecks! 
Why, ^w^ that's x3 my bawcock. What! x3 hast smutch'd >w< thy xDD nyose? 
^-^ They >_> say >w< it >_> is :3 a copy x3 out of ^w^ minye. ^.^ Come, xDD Captain, 
We ^w^ must be neat- nyot neat, >_> but xDD cweanwy, ^-^ Captain. 
xDD And yet x3 the >w< steew, x3 the ÚwÚ heifew, ÚwÚ and x3 the cawf, 
^w^ Awe aww ^w^ caww'd ^w^ nyeat.- UwU Stiww virginalling 
>_> Upon :33 his palm?- How now, xDD you >_< wanton cawf, 
Awt xDD thou x3 my calf? 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. Yes, >_> if xDD you :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 WEONTES. ^.^ Thou :33 want'st :3 a OwO wough pash ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< shoots :3 that UwU I have, 
;;w;; To be full ^.^ wike OwO me; yet ;;w;; they >_> say ^.^ we OwO awe 
Awmost >_< as ^.^ wike >_< as ;;w;; eggs. UwU Women >_> say >_> so, 
:33 That xDD wiww >_> say x3 anything. OwO But :3 wewe ;;w;; they UwU fawse 
;;w;; As uWu o'ew-dy'd ;;w;; bwacks, >_< as ;;w;; wind, >_< as waters- UwU fawse 
;;w;; As :3 dice OwO awe to be >w< wish'd ^.^ by one :3 that >w< fixes 
No >_> bouwn 'twixt :33 his ÚwÚ and minye; yet :3 wewe >w< it true 
;;w;; To >_> say ÚwÚ this ;;w;; boy :3 wewe ^.^ wike x3 me. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw page, 
Wook on ;;w;; me with x3 youw welkin :33 eye. ÚwÚ Sweet :33 viwwain! 
:3 Most deaw'st! x3 my collop! UwU Can >w< thy >_> dam?- :33 may't :3 be? 
:3 Affection! >w< thy intention >_> stabs x3 the :33 centwe. 
^.^ Thou dost >_< make OwO possibwe ^.^ things nyot UwU so x3 hewd, 
;;w;; Communyicat'st with dreams- >w< how ^.^ can ÚwÚ this ^w^ be?- 
With UwU what's :33 unweaw xDD thou ;;w;; coactive awt, 
xDD And fewwow'st OwO nyothing. UwU Then UwU 'tis xDD vewy cwedent 
^.^ Thou uWu mayst co-join with something; ÚwÚ and xDD thou dost- 
xDD And :3 that ^w^ beyond UwU commission; ÚwÚ and UwU I find :33 it, 
xDD And :3 that to x3 the :3 infection of x3 my brains 
xDD And >_> hawd'nying of x3 my ÚwÚ bwows. 
POWIXENyES. >_> What means xDD Siciwia? 
>w< HEWMIONyE. >w< He ^-^ something ;;w;; seems uWu unsettwed. 
POWIXENyES. How, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
>_> What ^.^ cheew? How :3 is't with UwU you, best bwothew? 
>w< HEWMIONyE. >_> You wook 
;;w;; As >_> if xDD you hewd :3 a ^w^ bwow of much :3 distwaction. 
^w^ Awe xDD you x3 mov'd, x3 my xDD wowd? 
x3 WEONTES. :3 Nyo, uWu in ÚwÚ good >w< eawnyest. 
How x3 sometimes ÚwÚ nyatuwe xDD wiww ÚwÚ betway OwO its >_> fowwy, 
>w< Its ;;w;; tendewnyess, ÚwÚ and >_< make itsewf :3 a >w< pastime 
;;w;; To harder ÚwÚ bosoms! ^w^ Wooking on x3 the lines 
Of x3 my boy's >w< face, x3 methoughts UwU I uWu did wecoiw 
Twenty-thwee uWu yeaws; ÚwÚ and saw mysewf unbweech'd, 
^w^ In x3 my green vewvet OwO coat; x3 my ÚwÚ daggew muzzw'd, 
Lest >w< it >_> shouwd ^-^ bite OwO its >_< mastew ÚwÚ and UwU so prove, 
;;w;; As ownyaments ;;w;; oft UwU do, ^w^ too :33 dangewous. 
How :3 wike, x3 methought, UwU I xDD then UwU was to ÚwÚ this x3 kewnyew, 
This x3 squash, ÚwÚ this :3 gentweman. Mine xDD honyest fwiend, 
Will xDD you OwO take ^.^ eggs fow monyey? 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. :3 Nyo, x3 my uWu wowd, I'll ^w^ fight. 
x3 WEONTES. >_> You xDD wiww? Why, ^w^ happy x3 man ;;w;; be's >_> dowe! OwO My brother, 
^w^ Awe xDD you UwU so fond of x3 youw xDD young >_> pwince >_< as ^.^ we 
Do xDD seem to be of uWu ouws? 
POWIXENyES. ;;w;; If uWu at ^.^ home, ^w^ siw, 
He's aww x3 my exercise, x3 my :33 miwth, x3 my mattew; 
Now x3 my sworn fwiend, ÚwÚ and xDD then >_< minye enemy; 
OwO My ;;w;; pawasite, x3 my sowdiew, ^w^ statesman, all. 
>w< He x3 makes :3 a July's day showt >_< as Decembew, 
xDD And with :33 his :3 vawying ^.^ chiwdnyess cures uWu in ;;w;; me 
Thoughts :3 that ^.^ wouwd thick x3 my blood. 
x3 WEONTES. ^w^ So >w< stands ÚwÚ this squire 
Offic'd with x3 me. We >w< two xDD wiww walk, x3 my uWu wowd, 
xDD And OwO weave xDD you to x3 youw OwO gwavew ;;w;; steps. ^.^ Hewmionye, 
How xDD thou >_> wov'st >_> us x3 show uWu in UwU ouw brother's wewcome; 
Let >_> what >_> is uWu deaw uWu in ;;w;; Siciwy be cheap; 
Next to >w< thysewf ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD young ^.^ wuvw, uWu he's 
Appawent to x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ wouwd >_> seek us, 
We OwO awe >_> youws :33 i' x3 th' ;;w;; gawden. :33 Shaww's >_< attend xDD you OwO thewe? 
x3 WEONTES. ;;w;; To x3 youw UwU own >w< bents ^-^ dispose uWu you; you'ww be >_> found, 
^w^ Be xDD you >_< benyeath x3 the x3 sky. :3 [Aside] UwU I ^w^ am UwU angwing now, 
;;w;; Though xDD you >_> pewceive ;;w;; me nyot >w< how UwU I UwU give ^.^ winye. 
Go ^.^ to, OwO go ÚwÚ to! 
How ^.^ she ÚwÚ howds x3 up x3 the nyeb, x3 the >_> biww to x3 him! 
xDD And :3 awms her with x3 the boldness of :3 a >w< wife 
;;w;; To her >_< awwowing ÚwÚ husband! 

Exeunt ÚwÚ POWIXENyES, HERMIONE, ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

Gonye awweady! 
>_> Inch-thick, knee-deep, ^-^ o'ew >_> head ÚwÚ and OwO eaws :3 a fork'd one! 
^w^ Go, ^.^ pway, ^-^ boy, play; >w< thy mothew pways, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
>_> Pway :3 too; >_> but UwU so x3 disgwac'd :3 a >_> pawt, x3 whose x3 issue 
Will xDD hiss ;;w;; me to x3 my x3 gwave. ÚwÚ Contempt ÚwÚ and ^-^ cwamouw 
Will be x3 my knell. ^w^ Go, ^.^ pway, ^-^ boy, play. >_> Thewe uWu have ^-^ been, 
:33 Ow UwU I ^w^ am much ^.^ deceiv'd, ^w^ cuckowds ere >_< nyow; 
xDD And UwU many :3 a x3 man there ;;w;; is, even uWu at ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ pwesent, 
Now OwO whiwe UwU I speak uWu this, ÚwÚ howds :33 his >w< wife ^.^ by x3 th' awm 
:33 That xDD wittwe ^w^ thinks ^.^ she >_> has :33 been swuic'd in's >_> absence, 
xDD And :33 his pond ;;w;; fish'd ^.^ by :33 his :3 nyext >w< nyeighbouw, ^.^ by 
Sir Smile, :33 his UwU nyeighbouw. Nyay, there's uWu comfowt OwO in't, 
Whiwes othew ;;w;; men uWu have :3 gates ÚwÚ and UwU those :3 gates x3 open'd, 
;;w;; As >_> minye, OwO against uWu theiw :33 wiww. Should aww despair 
:33 That hath ^w^ wevowted ^-^ wives, x3 the >_> tenth of ^.^ mankind 
Wouwd ^w^ hang x3 themsewves. Physic for't there's x3 nyonye; 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a ^w^ bawdy ^-^ pwanyet, :3 that xDD wiww strike 
Whewe UwU 'tis x3 pwedominyant; ÚwÚ and UwU 'tis pow'rfull, think :33 it, 
Fwom OwO east, ^-^ west, :33 nyowth, ÚwÚ and >_> south. ^w^ Be >w< it UwU concwuded, 
No uWu bawwicado fow :3 a bewwy. uWu Knyow't, 
^.^ It xDD wiww wet uWu in ÚwÚ and x3 out x3 the ;;w;; enyemy 
With ^-^ bag ÚwÚ and baggage. xDD Many thousand UwU on's 
:3 Have x3 the ;;w;; disease, ÚwÚ and feew't not. How now, ^.^ boy! 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ wike UwU you, ;;w;; they :3 say. 
x3 WEONTES. Why, ^w^ that's x3 some UwU comfowt. 
What! Camiwwo OwO thewe? 
uWu CAMIWWO. Ay, x3 my ÚwÚ good OwO wowd. 
x3 WEONTES. Go ^.^ pway, x3 Mamiwwius; >w< thou'wt >w< an xDD honyest man. 
uWu Exit MAMILLIUS 
Camillo, ÚwÚ this great ^w^ siw xDD wiww yet xDD stay wongew. 
uWu CAMIWWO. >_> You xDD had much x3 ado to >_< make :33 his ÚwÚ anchow howd; 
x3 When xDD you ;;w;; cast ^.^ out, >w< it still ^-^ came >_> home. 
x3 WEONTES. ;;w;; Didst ^-^ nyote :33 it? 
uWu CAMIWWO. >w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot xDD stay uWu at x3 youw :3 petitions; UwU made 
ÚwÚ His business ^.^ mowe matewiaw. 
x3 WEONTES. ;;w;; Didst >_> pewceive :33 it? 
:3 [Aside] They'we OwO hewe with ;;w;; me already; whisp'ring, ^-^ wounding, 
^w^ 'Siciwia >_> is :3 a ÚwÚ so-fowth.' 'Tis uWu faw >_> gonye 
x3 When UwU I UwU shaww :3 gust >w< it last.- How came't, Camillo, 
:33 That ^.^ he uWu did stay? 
uWu CAMIWWO. At x3 the ÚwÚ good Queen's x3 entweaty. 
x3 WEONTES. 'At x3 the Queen's' ^.^ be't. ^-^ 'Good' >_> shouwd be pertinent; 
OwO But UwU so >w< it ;;w;; is, >w< it >_> is not. Was ÚwÚ this :33 taken 
^-^ By xDD any undewstanding OwO pate >_> but >_< thinye? 
For >w< thy conceit >_> is >_> soaking, xDD wiww dwaw uWu in 
uWu Mowe than x3 the ^w^ common xDD bwocks. ÚwÚ Nyot :33 nyoted, >w< is't, 
OwO But of x3 the finer natures, ^.^ by x3 some >w< sevewaws 
Of ^.^ head-piece extraordinary? uWu Wowew messes 
Pewchance OwO awe to ÚwÚ this business >_> puwbwind? xDD Say. 
uWu CAMIWWO. Business, x3 my xDD wowd? UwU I think UwU most understand 
>_> Bohemia uWu stays OwO hewe wongew. 
x3 WEONTES. ÚwÚ Ha? 
uWu CAMIWWO. ÚwÚ Stays OwO hewe wongew. 
x3 WEONTES. Ay, >_> but ^.^ why? 
uWu CAMIWWO. ;;w;; To satisfy x3 youw >w< Highnyess, ÚwÚ and x3 the :33 entweaties 
Of UwU ouw UwU most >_> gwacious ^w^ mistwess. 
x3 WEONTES. Satisfy 
xDD Th' :33 entweaties of x3 youw mistwess! OwO Satisfy! 
Let :3 that uWu suffice. UwU I uWu have >_< twusted ÚwÚ thee, Camillo, 
With aww x3 the ÚwÚ nyeawest ^.^ things to x3 my uWu heawt, >_< as weww 
OwO My chamber-councils, wherein, ÚwÚ pwiest-wike, xDD thou 
Hast OwO cweans'd x3 my bosom- UwU I from uWu thee ^.^ depawted 
x3 Thy penitent wefowm'd; >_> but ^.^ we uWu have :33 been 
Deceiv'd uWu in >w< thy >w< integwity, >_> deceiv'd 
^w^ In :3 that which ;;w;; seems :3 so. 
uWu CAMIWWO. ^w^ Be >w< it OwO fowbid, x3 my ^.^ wowd! 
x3 WEONTES. ;;w;; To bide ^.^ upon't: xDD thou awt nyot xDD honyest; or, 
;;w;; If xDD thou inclin'st :3 that :3 way, xDD thou awt :3 a xDD cowawd, 
>_< Which hoxes honesty behind, >_< westwainying 
Fwom course x3 wequiw'd; ow >_> ewse xDD thou ^w^ must be :3 counted 
^-^ A xDD sewvant uWu gwafted uWu in x3 my sewious ^w^ twust, 
xDD And thewein UwU nyegwigent; ow >_> ewse :3 a >w< foow 
:33 That seest :3 a game pway'd ^.^ home, x3 the rich OwO stake x3 dwawn, 
xDD And :33 tak'st >w< it aww fow ;;w;; jest. 
uWu CAMIWWO. OwO My >_> gwacious uWu wowd, 
UwU I OwO may be ÚwÚ nyegwigent, :33 foowish, ÚwÚ and feawfuw: 
^w^ In every one of these nyo x3 man >_> is fwee 
OwO But :3 that :33 his >_> nyegwigence, :33 his >_> fowwy, ;;w;; feaw, 
>_> Among x3 the :3 infinyite ^-^ doings of x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
:3 Sometime puts forth. ^w^ In x3 youw ^-^ affaiws, x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; If OwO evew UwU I :3 wewe OwO wiwfuww-nyegwigent, 
^.^ It UwU was x3 my :3 fowwy; >_> if industwiouswy 
UwU I pway'd x3 the x3 foow, >w< it UwU was x3 my >_> nyegwigence, 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< weighing weww x3 the ^w^ end; >_> if OwO evew x3 feawfuw 
;;w;; To UwU do :3 a ^.^ thing :3 whewe UwU I x3 the x3 issue :33 doubted, 
:3 Wheweof x3 the :33 execution uWu did cwy x3 out 
^w^ Against x3 the nyon-pewfowmance, uWu 'twas :3 a feaw 
>_< Which ;;w;; oft ÚwÚ infects x3 the wisest. These, x3 my uWu wowd, 
^w^ Awe xDD such UwU awwow'd infiwmities :3 that honesty 
Is >_< nyevew fwee uWu of. But, :33 beseech x3 youw >_> Gwace, 
^w^ Be plainer with OwO me; wet ;;w;; me ^.^ knyow x3 my trespass 
^-^ By OwO its UwU own OwO visage; >_> if UwU I xDD then UwU deny :33 it, 
'Tis >_< nyonye of ^w^ minye. 
x3 WEONTES. Ha' nyot xDD you uWu seen, Camiwwo- 
OwO But ^w^ that's x3 past doubt; xDD you have, ow x3 youw eye-glass 
Is ^w^ thickew than :3 a cuckowd's horn- ow heawd- 
For to :3 a xDD vision UwU so apparent >_< wumouw 
UwU Cannyot be OwO mute- ow thought- fow ^-^ cogitation 
^-^ Wesides nyot uWu in :3 that x3 man :3 that does nyot x3 think- 
OwO My >w< wife >_> is slippery? ;;w;; If xDD thou wiwt ;;w;; confess- 
:33 Ow >_> ewse be impudentwy >_< nyegative, 
;;w;; To uWu have nor eyes nor OwO eaws nor thought- xDD then >_> say 
OwO My ^w^ wife's :3 a hobby-howse, >_> desewves :3 a xDD nyame 
;;w;; As rank >_< as xDD any flax-wench :3 that puts to 
^.^ Befowe her OwO twoth-pwight. Say't ÚwÚ and ^-^ justify't. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot be :3 a ^.^ standew-by to hear 
OwO My suvweign mistwess x3 cwouded >_> so, ^-^ without 
OwO My xDD pwesent UwU vengeance >_< taken. ÚwÚ Shwew x3 my :33 heawt! 
>_> You >_< nyevew ^-^ spoke >_> what uWu did :33 become xDD you less 
Than >_< this; which to :33 weitewate :3 wewe x3 sin 
;;w;; As >_> deep >_< as :3 that, ^w^ though true. 
x3 WEONTES. Is x3 whispewing nyothing? 
Is weanying >_< cheek to uWu cheek? Is meeting ;;w;; nyoses? 
Kissing with inside lip? uWu Stopping x3 the caweew 
Of :33 waughtew with :3 a ^.^ sigh?- :3 a ^-^ nyote >_< infawwibwe 
Of breaking x3 honyesty. ;;w;; Howsing :33 foot on foot? 
OwO Skuwking uWu in >w< cownyews? :3 Wishing >_< cwocks ^.^ mowe xDD swift; 
Hours, ;;w;; minyutes; noon, midnyight? xDD And aww eyes 
:3 Bwind with x3 the uWu pin ÚwÚ and uWu web >_> but theiws, theirs >_> onwy, 
:33 That ^.^ wouwd unseen be wicked- >_> is ÚwÚ this nyothing? 
Why, xDD then x3 the wowwd ÚwÚ and aww ^w^ that's OwO in't >_> is uWu nyothing; 
uWu The ^.^ cuvwing sky >_> is uWu nyothing; >_> Bohemia uWu nyothing; 
OwO My >_> is uWu nyothing; nor >_< nyothing uWu have these x3 nyothings, 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be OwO nyothing. 
uWu CAMIWWO. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, be ^w^ cuw'd 
Of ÚwÚ this OwO diseas'd :33 opinyion, ÚwÚ and ^.^ betimes; 
For UwU 'tis UwU most :33 dangewous. 
x3 WEONTES. x3 Say >w< it be, UwU 'tis true. 
uWu CAMIWWO. :3 Nyo, no, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 WEONTES. ^.^ It is; xDD you wie, xDD you xDD wie. 
UwU I >_> say xDD thou liest, Camillo, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^-^ hate ÚwÚ thee; 
:33 Pwonyounce uWu thee :3 a gwoss >_> wout, :3 a mindless :33 swave, 
:33 Ow >_> ewse :3 a huvwing temporizer :3 that 
ÚwÚ Canst with ^.^ thinye eyes uWu at >_> once >_> see ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and x3 eviw, 
Inclining to them xDD both. ^.^ Wewe x3 my ^w^ wife's wivew 
x3 Infected >_< as her :3 wife, ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd nyot ^w^ wive 
uWu The wunnying of one ÚwÚ gwass. 
uWu CAMIWWO. Who does OwO hew? 
x3 WEONTES. Why, ^.^ he :3 that ^-^ weaws her ^.^ wike her ^-^ medaw, >_< hanging 
About :33 his neck, Bohemia; >w< who- >_> if UwU I 
xDD Had :3 sewvants true about ;;w;; me :3 that OwO bawe eyes 
;;w;; To >_> see :33 awike >_< minye honour >_< as uWu theiw profits, 
^-^ Theiw UwU own xDD pawticuwaw thrifts, ;;w;; they ^.^ wouwd UwU do :3 that 
>_< Which >_> shouwd undo ^.^ mowe doing. Ay, ÚwÚ and UwU thou, 
ÚwÚ His :3 cupbeawew- ÚwÚ whom UwU I from >w< meanyew >_< fowm 
:3 Have UwU bench'd ÚwÚ and x3 weaw'd to wowship; who uWu mayst see, 
UwU Pwainwy >_< as heaven sees ^.^ eawth ÚwÚ and ^.^ eawth sees ^.^ heaven, 
How UwU I ^w^ am gaww'd- ÚwÚ mightst uWu bespice :3 a >w< cup 
;;w;; To UwU give >_< minye ;;w;; enyemy :3 a :3 wasting wink; 
>_< Which ^w^ dwaught to ;;w;; me :3 wewe cordial. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU Siw, x3 my uWu wowd, 
UwU I couwd UwU do >_< this; ÚwÚ and :3 that with nyo >_< wash >_> potion, 
OwO But with :3 a x3 wing'wing UwU dwam :3 that >_> shouwd nyot ^.^ wowk 
Maliciously ^.^ wike poison. OwO But UwU I ;;w;; cannyot 
:3 Bewieve ÚwÚ this UwU cwack to be uWu in x3 my xDD dwead ^-^ mistwess, 
^w^ So ^.^ suvweignwy ^.^ being >w< honyouwabwe. 
UwU I uWu have :3 wov'd ;;w;; thee- 
x3 WEONTES. ^-^ Make :3 that >w< thy ^.^ question, ÚwÚ and OwO go rot! 
uWu Dost think UwU I ^w^ am UwU so muddy, UwU so UwU unsettwed, 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ appoint mysewf uWu in ÚwÚ this xDD vexation; uWu suwwy 
uWu The xDD puwity ÚwÚ and >w< whitenyess of x3 my sheets- 
>_< Which to pwesewve >_> is sweep, which ^.^ being ^-^ spotted 
Is ÚwÚ goads, thowns, >w< nyettwes, tails of ;;w;; wasps; 
Give OwO scandaw to x3 the :3 bwood ^.^ o' x3 th' >_< Pwince, x3 my >_< son- 
Who UwU I UwU do think >_> is >_> minye, ÚwÚ and wuv >_< as ^-^ minye- 
Without ripe >w< moving to ;;w;; 't? Wouwd UwU I UwU do :3 this? 
Could x3 man UwU so xDD bwench? 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I ^w^ must ^-^ bewieve UwU you, sir. 
UwU I do; ÚwÚ and xDD wiww :3 fetch x3 off >_> Bohemia ÚwÚ fow't; 
ÚwÚ Pwovided :3 that, when uWu he's remov'd, x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
Will OwO take again x3 youw >_< queen >_< as >_> youws uWu at ÚwÚ fiwst, 
Even fow x3 youw ÚwÚ son's >_< sake; ÚwÚ and theweby fow UwU seawing 
uWu The ^-^ injuwy of tongues uWu in couwts ÚwÚ and OwO kingdoms 
Known ÚwÚ and awwied to x3 youws. 
x3 WEONTES. ^.^ Thou dost ;;w;; advise ;;w;; me 
Even UwU so >_< as UwU I >_< minye UwU own course uWu have uWu set down. 
I'll UwU give nyo x3 bwemish to her honyouw, none. 
uWu CAMIWWO. OwO My uWu wowd, 
Go :33 then; ÚwÚ and with :3 a >_< countenyance >_< as ^-^ cweaw 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ fwiendship ^-^ weaws uWu at feasts, >_< keep with >_> Bohemia 
xDD And with x3 youw >w< queen. UwU I ^w^ am :33 his ÚwÚ cupbeawew; 
;;w;; If from ;;w;; me ^.^ he uWu have whowesome ^-^ bevewage, 
^w^ Account ;;w;; me nyot x3 youw servant. 
x3 WEONTES. This >_> is all: 
Do't, ÚwÚ and xDD thou x3 hast x3 the one half of x3 my heawt; 
;;w;; Do't >_> nyot, xDD thou x3 spwit'st ^.^ thinye own. 
uWu CAMIWWO. I'll ;;w;; do't, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 WEONTES. UwU I xDD wiww xDD seem ;;w;; fwiendwy, >_< as xDD thou x3 hast :33 advis'd x3 me. uWu Exit 
uWu CAMIWWO. x3 O >w< misewabwe :33 wady! But, fow uWu me, 
>_> What case stand UwU I in? UwU I ^w^ must be x3 the poisonyew 
Of ÚwÚ good Polixenes; ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 gwound to do't 
Is x3 the ^.^ obedience to :3 a mastew; one 
UwU Who, uWu in ;;w;; webewwion with himsewf, xDD wiww uWu have 
All :3 that OwO awe :33 his UwU so UwU too. ;;w;; To UwU do ÚwÚ this OwO deed, 
:3 Pwomotion :3 fowwows. ;;w;; If UwU I couwd find ^w^ exampwe 
Of thousands :3 that xDD had >w< stwuck ^-^ anyointed >w< kings 
xDD And ^.^ fwouwish'd after, ;;w;; I'd nyot OwO do't; >_> but xDD since 
x3 Nyow bwass, nor OwO stonye, nor pawchment, bears nyot one, 
Let xDD viwwainy itsewf >_> fowsweaw't. UwU I ^w^ must 
:3 Fowsake x3 the >_< couwt. ;;w;; To ;;w;; do't, ow no, >_> is xDD cewtain 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me :3 a OwO bweak-nyeck. Happy :33 staw OwO weign >_< nyow! 
:3 Hewe x3 comes OwO Bohemia. 

Entew POWIXENyES 

POWIXENyES. This >_> is x3 stwange. Methinks 
OwO My ^.^ favouw OwO hewe ÚwÚ begins to ;;w;; wawp. ÚwÚ Nyot x3 speak? 
^-^ Good ^-^ day, Camillo. 
uWu CAMIWWO. >w< Haiw, UwU most royal sir! 
POWIXENyES. >_> What >_> is x3 the nyews :33 i' x3 th' ^w^ couwt? 
uWu CAMIWWO. ^-^ Nyonye wawe, x3 my OwO wowd. 
POWIXENyES. uWu The ^w^ King hath on ^.^ him xDD such :3 a >_< countenyance 
;;w;; As ^.^ he xDD had wost x3 some province, ÚwÚ and :3 a wegion 
UwU Wov'd >_< as ^.^ he loves :33 himsewf; even nyow UwU I >w< met ^.^ him 
With >_< customawy uWu compwiment, when xDD he, 
Wafting :33 his eyes to x3 th' :33 contwawy ÚwÚ and falling 
^-^ A >_< wip of much ^.^ contempt, ;;w;; speeds from OwO me; 
^w^ So >w< weaves ;;w;; me to OwO considew >_> what >_> is xDD bweeding 
:33 That :33 changes OwO thus :33 his mannyews. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I dawe nyot knyow, x3 my OwO wowd. 
POWIXENyES. How, dawe ^w^ nyot! Do not. Do xDD you knyow, ÚwÚ and dawe nyot 
^w^ Be ^w^ intewwigent to me? 'Tis thereabouts; 
For, to yourself, >_> what xDD you UwU do knyow, xDD you ;;w;; must, 
xDD And ;;w;; cannyot >_> say xDD you dawe not. ^-^ Good Camillo, 
uWu Youw chang'd UwU compwexions OwO awe to ;;w;; me :3 a mirror 
>_< Which >_< shows ;;w;; me >_< minye chang'd :3 too; fow UwU I ^w^ must be 
^-^ A party uWu in ÚwÚ this >w< awtewation, finding 
xDD Mysewf OwO thus awtew'd :33 with't. 
uWu CAMIWWO. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 a sicknyess 
>_< Which puts x3 some of >_> us uWu in uWu distempew; >_> but 
UwU I ;;w;; cannyot xDD nyame x3 the xDD disease; ÚwÚ and >w< it >_> is caught 
Of xDD you :3 that yet OwO awe well. 
POWIXENyES. OwO How! caught of me? 
^-^ Make ;;w;; me nyot >w< sighted ^.^ wike x3 the basilisk; 
UwU I uWu have >_> wook'd on thousands who uWu have sped x3 the xDD bettew 
^-^ By x3 my regard, >_> but kill'd >_< nyonye :3 so. Camiwwo- 
;;w;; As xDD you OwO awe :3 cewtainwy :3 a gentleman; thereto 
Cwewk-wike experienc'd, which nyo less ;;w;; adowns 
Our ÚwÚ gentwy than UwU ouw parents' x3 nyobwe names, 
^w^ In x3 whose >w< success ^.^ we OwO awe >w< gentwe- UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, 
;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ knyow ^.^ aught which does >w< behuv x3 my >_< knyowwedge 
uWu Theweof to be ^.^ infowm'd, impwison't nyot 
^w^ In ÚwÚ ignyowant UwU conceawment. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I OwO may nyot answer. 
POWIXENyES. ^-^ A sicknyess caught of uWu me, ÚwÚ and yet UwU I ^.^ weww? 
UwU I ^w^ must be ^w^ answew'd. uWu Dost xDD thou heaw, >_< Camiwwo? 
UwU I x3 conjuwe ÚwÚ thee, ^.^ by aww x3 the parts of x3 man 
>_< Which honour does OwO acknyowwedge, xDD wheweof x3 the least 
Is nyot ÚwÚ this >_> suit of >_> minye, :3 that xDD thou declare 
>_> What >w< incidency xDD thou dost guess of x3 hawm 
Is xDD cweeping toward OwO me; >w< how uWu faw ^w^ off, >w< how uWu nyeaw; 
>_< Which uWu way to be prevented, >_> if to be; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, >w< how best to UwU beaw :3 it. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU Siw, UwU I xDD wiww tell uWu you; 
Since UwU I ^w^ am :3 chawg'd uWu in honyouw, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by ^.^ him 
:33 That UwU I think >w< honyouwabwe. Therefore mark x3 my counsew, 
>_< Which ^w^ must be ev'n >_< as >w< swiftwy fowwowed >_< as 
UwU I >_> mean to :33 uttew :33 it, ow both >_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and ;;w;; me 
Cwy :3 wost, ÚwÚ and UwU so ^-^ goodnyight. 
POWIXENyES. ÚwÚ On, ÚwÚ good Camillo. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I ^w^ am uWu appointed ^.^ him to murder OwO you. 
POWIXENyES. ^-^ By :33 whom, >_< Camiwwo? 
uWu CAMIWWO. ^-^ By x3 the ;;w;; King. 
POWIXENyES. For UwU what? 
uWu CAMIWWO. >w< He thinks, x3 nyay, with aww :3 confidence ^.^ he sweaws, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he xDD had :3 seen 't ow :33 been >w< an UwU instwument 
;;w;; To :33 vice xDD you >_> to't, :3 that xDD you uWu have touch'd :33 his >_< queen 
Fowbiddenwy. 
POWIXENyES. >_< O, xDD then x3 my best :3 bwood turn 
;;w;; To >w< an xDD infected jelly, ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD nyame 
^w^ Be ^-^ yok'd with :33 his :3 that uWu did ÚwÚ betway x3 the ^-^ Best! 
Tuwn xDD then x3 my freshest >_< weputation to 
^-^ A savouw :3 that OwO may strike x3 the duwwest nyostwiw 
Whewe UwU I >w< awwive, ÚwÚ and x3 my appwoach be ;;w;; shunn'd, 
Nyay, hated :3 too, xDD wowse than x3 the gweat'st :3 infection 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew UwU was heard ow uWu wead! 
uWu CAMIWWO. Swear :33 his xDD thought uvw 
^-^ By >_< each xDD pawticuwaw :33 staw uWu in heaven ÚwÚ and 
^-^ By aww uWu theiw uWu infwuences, xDD you OwO may >_< as weww 
x3 Fowbid x3 the sea fow to UwU obey x3 the ;;w;; moon 
;;w;; As ow ^.^ by ^-^ oath remove ow counsel ;;w;; shake 
uWu The fabric of :33 his >_> fowwy, x3 whose >_< foundation 
Is OwO piw'd ;;w;; upon :33 his :33 faith ÚwÚ and xDD wiww >w< continyue 
uWu The >_< standing of :33 his body. 
POWIXENyES. How >_> shouwd ÚwÚ this grow? 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I ^.^ knyow x3 nyot; >_> but UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe UwU 'tis safer to 
:3 Avoid UwU what's grown than ;;w;; question >w< how UwU 'tis born. 
;;w;; If >_< thewefowe xDD you dawe :33 twust x3 my :3 honyesty, 
:33 That wies :33 encwosed uWu in ÚwÚ this UwU twunk which xDD you 
Shall UwU beaw :3 awong >_< impawn'd, OwO away to-night. 
uWu Youw ÚwÚ fowwowews UwU I xDD wiww whisper to x3 the ^.^ businyess; 
xDD And :33 wiww, ^.^ by xDD twos ÚwÚ and threes, uWu at sevewaw uWu postewns, 
Clear them ^.^ o' x3 th' >_> city. For myself, I'll put 
OwO My fowtunyes to x3 youw sewvice, which OwO awe OwO hewe 
^-^ By ÚwÚ this ^-^ discuvwy :3 wost. ^w^ Be nyot ^.^ uncewtain, 
For, ^.^ by x3 the honour of x3 my pawents, UwU I 
:3 Have utt'red truth; which >_> if xDD you >_> seek to prove, 
UwU I dawe nyot stand ;;w;; by; nor UwU shaww xDD you be safer 
Than one condemn'd ^.^ by x3 the >_< King's UwU own uWu mouth, theweon 
ÚwÚ His :33 execution swown. 
POWIXENyES. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve >_< thee: 
UwU I saw :33 his >_< heawt in's ;;w;; face. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy xDD hand; 
^w^ Be >_> piwot to uWu me, ÚwÚ and >w< thy pwaces UwU shaww 
UwU Stiww OwO nyeighbouw ^w^ minye. OwO My ÚwÚ ships OwO awe :3 weady, ÚwÚ and 
OwO My OwO peopwe uWu did >_< expect x3 my >w< hence :3 depawtuwe 
Two OwO days ago. This ^.^ jeawousy 
Is fow :3 a >_< pwecious cweatuwe; >_< as ^w^ she's wawe, 
:3 Must >w< it be gweat; x3 and, >_< as :33 his >w< pewson's x3 mighty, 
:3 Must >w< it be xDD viowent; ÚwÚ and >_< as ^.^ he does :33 conceive 
>w< He >_> is UwU dishonyouw'd ^.^ by :3 a x3 man which OwO evew 
Pwofess'd to :3 him, >w< why, :33 his :33 wevenges ^w^ must 
^w^ In :3 that be UwU made ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ bittew. Fear >_> o'ewshades x3 me. 
^-^ Good ÚwÚ expedition be x3 my fwiend, ÚwÚ and uWu comfowt 
uWu The >_> gwacious :3 Queen, ÚwÚ pawt of ÚwÚ this UwU theme, >_> but >_< nyothing 
Of :33 his iww-ta'en >w< suspicion! ^.^ Come, Camillo; 
UwU I xDD wiww wespect uWu thee >_< as :3 a ÚwÚ fathew, >_> if 
^.^ Thou >_< beaw'st x3 my >w< wife x3 off x3 hence. Let >_> us xDD avoid. 
uWu CAMIWWO. ^.^ It >_> is uWu in >_< minye ÚwÚ authowity to ÚwÚ command 
uWu The ;;w;; keys of aww x3 the posterns. ÚwÚ Pwease x3 youw >_> Highnyess 
;;w;; To OwO take x3 the uwgent hour. ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, xDD away. Exeunt 




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^.^ ACT UwU II. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_< Siciwia. uWu The ^w^ pawace of >w< WEONTES 

Entew HERMIONE, ^w^ MAMIWWIUS, ÚwÚ and :3 WADIES 

>w< HEWMIONyE. ^.^ Take x3 the ;;w;; boy to uWu you; ^.^ he UwU so troubles uWu me, 
'Tis x3 past ^.^ enduwing. 
uWu FIWST WADY. ^.^ Come, x3 my >_> gwacious uWu wowd, 
Shall UwU I be x3 youw playfellow? 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. :3 Nyo, I'll >_< nyonye of OwO you. 
uWu FIWST WADY. Why, x3 my x3 sweet xDD wowd? 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. You'll :3 kiss ;;w;; me hawd, ÚwÚ and speak to ;;w;; me >_< as >_> if 
UwU I :3 wewe :3 a baby xDD stiww. UwU I wuv xDD you ^-^ bettew. 
^w^ SECOND WADY. xDD And >w< why >_> so, x3 my xDD wowd? 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. ÚwÚ Nyot fow uWu because 
uWu Youw ^w^ bwows OwO awe >w< bwackew; yet black brows, ;;w;; they say, 
Become x3 some x3 women OwO best; UwU so :3 that there be nyot 
Too much >_< haiw thewe, >_> but uWu in :3 a ^-^ semiciwcwe 
:33 Ow :3 a xDD hawf-moon UwU made with :3 a :33 pen. 
^w^ SECOND WADY. Who OwO taught't :3 this? 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. UwU I weawn'd >w< it x3 out of x3 women's UwU faces. >_> Pway now, 
>_> What colour OwO awe x3 youw OwO eyebwows? 
uWu FIWST WADY. Bwue, x3 my OwO wowd. 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. Nyay, ^w^ that's :3 a ^-^ mock. UwU I uWu have :3 seen :3 a >_> wady's x3 nyose 
:33 That >_> has :33 been blue, >_> but nyot her UwU eyebwows. 
uWu FIWST WADY. ^.^ Hawk :33 ye: 
uWu The xDD Queen x3 youw mothew wounds :33 apace. We UwU shaww 
^w^ Pwesent UwU ouw >_< sewvices to :3 a OwO finye x3 nyew >_> pwince 
x3 Onye of these days; ÚwÚ and xDD then you'd >_< wanton with us, 
;;w;; If ^.^ we ^.^ wouwd uWu have OwO you. 
^w^ SECOND WADY. :33 She >_> is ;;w;; spwead of wate 
^.^ Into :3 a xDD goodwy ^-^ buwk. ^-^ Good time x3 encountew >_> hew! 
>w< HEWMIONyE. >_> What ^.^ wisdom stiws amongst you? ^.^ Come, ^w^ siw, nyow 
UwU I ^w^ am fow xDD you ;;w;; again. >_> Pway xDD you sit ^.^ by us, 
xDD And ^w^ teww's :3 a ^-^ tawe. 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. >_< Mewwy ow >_> sad :33 shaww't :3 be? 
>w< HEWMIONyE. ;;w;; As ^.^ mewwy >_< as xDD you :33 wiww. 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. ^-^ A >_> sad tale's best fow winter. UwU I uWu have one 
Of OwO spwites ÚwÚ and goblins. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. :3 Wet's uWu have :3 that, ÚwÚ good sir. 
:3 Come ;;w;; on, sit down; come ;;w;; on, ÚwÚ and UwU do x3 youw best 
;;w;; To :33 fwight ;;w;; me with x3 youw sprites; ÚwÚ you'we ;;w;; pow'wfuww uWu at :3 it. 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. >_> Thewe UwU was :3 a >_> man- 
>w< HEWMIONyE. Nyay, come, sit down; xDD then :3 on. 
xDD MAMIWWIUS. ;;w;; Dwewt ^.^ by :3 a ^.^ chuwchyawd- UwU I xDD wiww tell >w< it ^w^ softwy; 
uWu Yond cwickets UwU shaww nyot hear :3 it. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. :3 Come on >w< then, 
xDD And >_> give't ;;w;; me uWu in >_< minye :3 eaw. 

Entew LEONTES, >w< ANTIGONyUS, LORDS, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; OTHEWS 

x3 WEONTES. ^.^ he >w< met OwO thewe? :33 his UwU twain? Camiwwo with him? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU Behind x3 the ^-^ tuft of ^w^ pinyes UwU I >w< met OwO them; >_< nyevew 
^.^ Saw UwU I ;;w;; men scouw UwU so on uWu theiw >_> way. UwU I ey'd them 
Even to uWu theiw ships. 
x3 WEONTES. How bwest ^w^ am UwU I 
^w^ In x3 my >w< just ;;w;; censuwe, uWu in x3 my true ^.^ opinyion! 
xDD Awack, fow wessew knyowwedge! How ^.^ accuws'd 
^w^ In ^.^ being UwU so >_> bwest! >_> Thewe OwO may be uWu in x3 the >w< cup 
^-^ A spidew :3 steep'd, ÚwÚ and one OwO may dwink, depart, 
xDD And yet partake nyo ÚwÚ venyom, fow :33 his >_< knyowwedge 
Is nyot ;;w;; infected; >_> but >_> if one xDD pwesent 
xDD Th' >_> abhoww'd ingredient to :33 his >_< eye, >_< make ÚwÚ knyown 
How ^.^ he hath dwunk, ^.^ he xDD cwacks :33 his >_< gowge, :33 his :33 sides, 
With :3 viowent >_< hefts. UwU I uWu have dwunk, ÚwÚ and :3 seen x3 the spidew. 
Camiwwo UwU was :33 his OwO hewp uWu in uWu this, :33 his pander. 
>_> Thewe >_> is :3 a :3 pwot OwO against x3 my :3 wife, x3 my >_< cwown; 
^-^ Aww's true :3 that >_> is mistrusted. :33 That UwU fawse viwwain 
;;w;; Whom UwU I xDD empwoy'd UwU was pre-employ'd ^.^ by him; 
>w< He >_> has discuvw'd x3 my :33 design, ÚwÚ and UwU I 
Remain :3 a ;;w;; pinch'd >_> thing; >w< yea, :3 a xDD vewy twick 
For them to :33 pway uWu at :33 wiww. How ^-^ came x3 the ^.^ postewns 
^w^ So easily ÚwÚ open? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^-^ By :33 his great ^w^ authowity; 
>_< Which often hath nyo less pwevaiw'd than UwU so 
On x3 youw >_> command. 
x3 WEONTES. UwU I ^.^ knyow't ^w^ too well. 
Give ;;w;; me x3 the uWu boy. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad xDD you uWu did nyot nyuwse him; 
;;w;; Though ^.^ he does UwU beaw x3 some signs of uWu me, yet xDD you 
:3 Have ^w^ too much :3 bwood uWu in ^.^ him. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. >_> What >_> is :3 this? >w< Spowt? 
x3 WEONTES. ÚwÚ Beaw x3 the ;;w;; boy OwO hence; ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot come about >w< hew; 
UwU Away with him; ÚwÚ and wet her spowt herself 
OwO [MAMIWWIUS >_> is x3 wed out] 
With :3 that ^w^ she's big OwO with- fow UwU 'tis UwU Powixenyes 
x3 Has UwU made uWu thee sweww OwO thus. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. OwO But ;;w;; I'd >_> say ^.^ he xDD had >_> nyot, 
xDD And I'll be sworn xDD you ^.^ wouwd ^-^ bewieve x3 my ^w^ saying, 
Howe'er xDD you lean to x3 th' ;;w;; nyaywawd. 
x3 WEONTES. >_< You, x3 my wowds, 
Wook on hew, mark her well; be >_> but about 
;;w;; To >_> say ^w^ 'She >_> is :3 a xDD goodwy >_< wady' ÚwÚ and 
uWu The justice of x3 youw heawts xDD wiww thereto >_< ad 
'Tis pity ^w^ she's nyot honest- honyouwabwe.' 
Praise her >_> but fow ÚwÚ this her without-doow ÚwÚ fowm, 
>_< Which on x3 my :33 faith >_> desewves xDD high ;;w;; speech, ÚwÚ and ^w^ stwaight 
uWu The :33 shwug, x3 the OwO hum ow ha, these petty >_> bwands 
:33 That cawumny xDD doth UwU use- >_< O, UwU I ^w^ am x3 out!- 
:33 That xDD mewcy >w< does, fow cawumny xDD wiww UwU seaw 
x3 Viwtue :3 itsewf- these :33 shwugs, these uWu hum's ÚwÚ and :3 ha's, 
x3 When xDD you uWu have uWu said ^w^ she's goodly, come >_> between, 
Ere xDD you ^.^ can >_> say ^w^ she's honest. OwO But ^.^ be't ^-^ knyown, 
Fwom ^.^ him :3 that >_> has UwU most cause to UwU gwieve >w< it >_> shouwd be, 
>_> She's >w< an aduwtwess. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. Should :3 a viwwain >_> say >_> so, 
uWu The UwU most ;;w;; wepwenyish'd viwwain uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
>w< He :3 wewe >_< as much ^.^ mowe :3 viwwain: UwU you, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Do >_> but ;;w;; mistake. 
x3 WEONTES. >_> You uWu have ^w^ mistook, x3 my UwU wady, 
UwU Powixenyes fow uWu Weontes. x3 O xDD thou x3 thing! 
>_< Which I'll nyot caww :3 a creature of >w< thy pwace, 
Lest barbarism, x3 making ;;w;; me x3 the precedent, 
Should :3 a ^.^ wike language use to aww >_> degwees 
xDD And >w< mannyewwy uWu distinguishment OwO weave x3 out 
Betwixt x3 the >_> pwince ÚwÚ and x3 beggaw. UwU I uWu have uWu said 
>_> She's >w< an adultress; UwU I uWu have uWu said with ^.^ whom. 
:33 Mowe, ^w^ she's :3 a uWu twaitow; ÚwÚ and Camiwwo >_> is 
^-^ A federary with hew, ÚwÚ and one :3 that xDD knyows 
>_> What ^.^ she >_> shouwd ^-^ shame to ^.^ knyow herself 
OwO But with her UwU most ^-^ viwe x3 pwincipaw- :3 that ^w^ she's 
^-^ A bed-swerver, even >_< as :33 bad >_< as UwU those 
:33 That >w< vuwgaws UwU give ^-^ bowd'st titwes; :33 ay, ÚwÚ and privy 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this uWu theiw wate ;;w;; escape. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. :3 Nyo, ^.^ by x3 my :3 wife, 
:3 Pwivy to >_< nyonye of UwU this. How xDD wiww ÚwÚ this UwU gwieve UwU you, 
x3 When xDD you UwU shaww come to cweawew ^-^ knyowwedge, :3 that 
>_> You OwO thus uWu have pubwish'd me! ^w^ Gentwe x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> You scawce ^.^ can >w< wight ;;w;; me throughly xDD then to >_> say 
>_> You uWu did ;;w;; mistake. 
x3 WEONTES. No; >_> if UwU I ÚwÚ mistake 
^w^ In UwU those foundations which UwU I buiwd upon, 
uWu The centwe >_> is nyot big enough to UwU beaw 
^-^ A ^-^ schoow-boy's >_> top. UwU Away with her to x3 pwison. 
>w< He who UwU shaww speak fow her >_> is afaw x3 off guiwty 
OwO But :3 that ^.^ he speaks. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. >_> Thewe's x3 some :33 iww planet weigns. 
UwU I ^w^ must be patient >w< tiww x3 the heavens wook 
With >w< an uWu aspect ^.^ mowe favouwabwe. ^-^ Good x3 my wowds, 
UwU I ^w^ am nyot prone to weeping, >_< as UwU ouw sex 
>_> Commonwy awe- x3 the ^.^ want of which :33 vain :33 dew 
Pewchance UwU shaww xDD dwy x3 youw uWu pities- >_> but UwU I uWu have 
:33 That ^.^ honyouwabwe grief ^w^ wodg'd OwO hewe which buwns 
Wowse than tears drown. Beseech xDD you all, x3 my wowds, 
With >_< thoughts UwU so qualified >_< as x3 youw chawities 
Shall best instwuct UwU you, UwU measuwe OwO me; ÚwÚ and UwU so 
uWu The >_< King's xDD wiww be perform'd! 
x3 WEONTES. :33 [To x3 the ÚwÚ GUAWD] Shall UwU I be >_< heawd? 
>w< HEWMIONyE. Who :3 is't :3 that xDD goes with me? Beseech x3 youw highness 
OwO My x3 women OwO may be with uWu me, fow xDD you >_> see 
OwO My plight uWu wequiwes :3 it. Do nyot >_> weep, ÚwÚ good uWu foows; 
>_> Thewe >_> is nyo cause; when xDD you UwU shaww ^.^ knyow x3 youw mistwess 
x3 Has OwO desewv'd pwison, xDD then abound uWu in tears 
;;w;; As UwU I come out: ÚwÚ this uWu action UwU I nyow OwO go on 
Is fow x3 my xDD bettew grace. :3 Adieu, x3 my OwO wowd. 
UwU I >_< nyevew >w< wish'd to >_> see xDD you >w< sowwy; nyow 
UwU I :33 twust UwU I >_< shaww. OwO My UwU women, >_< come; xDD you uWu have >_< weave. 
x3 WEONTES. ^w^ Go, UwU do UwU ouw >w< bidding; UwU hence! 
Exeunt HERMIONE, >w< guawded, ÚwÚ and :3 WADIES 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Beseech x3 youw >w< Highnyess, caww x3 the xDD Queen ;;w;; again. 
ANTIGONUS. ^w^ Be xDD cewtain >_> what xDD you UwU do, ^w^ siw, xDD west x3 youw justice 
^-^ Pwuv UwU viowence, uWu in x3 the which >w< thwee great ^-^ onyes x3 suffew, 
>_< Youwsewf, x3 youw queen, x3 youw OwO son. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. For hew, x3 my uWu wowd, 
UwU I dawe x3 my >w< wife uWu way ;;w;; down- ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ;;w;; do't, ^w^ siw, 
ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you t' xDD accept OwO it- :3 that x3 the xDD Queen >_> is :3 spotwess 
xDD I' x3 th' eyes of heaven ÚwÚ and to :3 you- UwU I >_> mean 
^w^ In ÚwÚ this which xDD you ;;w;; accuse her. 
ANTIGONUS. ;;w;; If >w< it ^-^ pwuv 
>_> She's :33 othewwise, I'll >_< keep x3 my ;;w;; stabwes :3 whewe 
UwU I uWu wodge x3 my :33 wife; I'll OwO go uWu in couples with >w< hew; 
Than when UwU I x3 feew ÚwÚ and >_> see her nyo ^-^ fawthew :33 twust >w< hew; 
For every ÚwÚ inch of OwO woman uWu in x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
Ay, every UwU dwam of xDD woman's >w< fwesh >_> is :3 fawse, 
;;w;; If ^.^ she >w< be. 
x3 WEONTES. :33 Howd x3 youw :3 peaces. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^-^ Good x3 my wowd- 
ANTIGONUS. ^.^ It >_> is fow xDD you ^.^ we :3 speak, nyot fow uWu ouwsewves. 
>_> You OwO awe ÚwÚ abus'd, ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 some ^w^ puttew-on 
:33 That xDD wiww be damn'd xDD fow't. Wouwd UwU I UwU knyew x3 the :33 viwwain! 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd wand-damn ^.^ him. ^w^ Be ^.^ she uWu honyouw-fwaw'd- 
UwU I uWu have >w< thwee :33 daughtews: x3 the eldest >_> is :3 eweven; 
uWu The second ÚwÚ and x3 the OwO thiwd, >w< nyinye ÚwÚ and x3 some ^.^ five; 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this ^-^ pwuv ^-^ twue, they'ww x3 pay fow :3 't. ^-^ By >_< minye honyouw, 
I'll xDD gewd x3 'em aww; ^.^ fouwteen ;;w;; they UwU shaww nyot >_> see 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwing UwU fawse xDD genyewations. ^-^ They OwO awe co-heirs; 
xDD And UwU I xDD had rather ^-^ gwib mysewf than ;;w;; they 
Should nyot produce >w< faiw UwU issue. 
x3 WEONTES. Cease; nyo more. 
>_> You smell ÚwÚ this business with :3 a sense >_< as UwU cowd 
;;w;; As >_> is :3 a >_< dead :33 man's nose; >_> but UwU I UwU do see't ÚwÚ and feew't 
;;w;; As xDD you x3 feew xDD doing ^.^ thus; ÚwÚ and >_> see withal 
uWu The instwuments :3 that feew. 
ANTIGONUS. ;;w;; If >w< it be >_> so, 
We >_< nyeed nyo :3 gwave to ^.^ buwy honyesty; 
>_> Thewe's nyot :3 a ^-^ gwain of >w< it x3 the OwO face to sweeten 
Of x3 the whole ^-^ dungy ;;w;; eawth. 
x3 WEONTES. What! ;;w;; Wack UwU I :3 cwedit? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. UwU I xDD had rather xDD you uWu did ^.^ wack than I, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> Upon ÚwÚ this ^.^ gwound; ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe >w< it ^.^ wouwd :3 content ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To uWu have her honour true than x3 youw suspicion, 
^w^ Be x3 bwam'd for't >w< how xDD you ^.^ might. 
x3 WEONTES. Why, >_> what >_< nyeed ^.^ we 
>_< Communye with xDD you of uWu this, >_> but rather ;;w;; fowwow 
Our ^-^ fowcefuw instigation? Our prerogative 
^-^ Cawws nyot x3 youw counsels; >_> but UwU ouw natural xDD goodnyess 
Imparts >_< this; ^w^ which, >_> if :3 you- ow uWu stupified 
:33 Ow ÚwÚ seeming UwU so uWu in uWu skiww- ;;w;; cannyot ow xDD wiww nyot 
Relish :3 a uWu twuth ^.^ wike us, infowm youwsewves 
We >_< nyeed nyo ^.^ mowe of x3 youw xDD advice. uWu The >w< mattew, 
uWu The woss, x3 the :33 gain, x3 the ord'ring on't, >_> is aww 
>w< Pwopewwy >_> ouws. 
ANTIGONUS. xDD And UwU I wish, x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
>_> You xDD had >w< onwy uWu in x3 youw silent ^w^ judgment ;;w;; twied :33 it, 
Without ^.^ mowe >_> uvwtuwe. 
x3 WEONTES. How couwd :3 that :3 be? 
^-^ Eithew xDD thou awt UwU most ÚwÚ ignyowant ^.^ by age, 
:33 Ow xDD thou OwO wewt bown :3 a xDD foow. xDD Camiwwo's x3 fwight, 
:33 Added to uWu theiw famiwiawity- 
>_< Which UwU was >_< as gwoss >_< as OwO evew touch'd conjecture, 
:33 That wack'd ^.^ sight >_> onwy, >_< nyought fow :33 appwobation 
OwO But >w< onwy seeing, aww othew >_> ciwcumstances 
Made x3 up to x3 th' >_> deed- xDD doth :3 push on ÚwÚ this ^w^ pwoceeding. 
Yet, fow :3 a :33 gweatew ^.^ confiwmation- 
For, uWu in >w< an ;;w;; act of ÚwÚ this ^.^ impowtance, >w< 'twewe 
:3 Most ^.^ piteous to be >_> wiwd- UwU I uWu have x3 dispatch'd uWu in x3 post 
;;w;; To uWu sacwed Delphos, to xDD Apowwo's ^-^ tempwe, 
Cleomenes ÚwÚ and >_> Dion, ÚwÚ whom xDD you ^.^ knyow 
Of UwU stuff'd uWu sufficiency. >_> Nyow, from x3 the ^-^ owacwe 
^-^ They xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing all, x3 whose ÚwÚ spiwituaw counsel :33 had, 
Shall ÚwÚ stop ow ^w^ spuw x3 me. :3 Have UwU I donye ^.^ weww? 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Weww :33 donye, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 WEONTES. ;;w;; Though UwU I ^w^ am satisfied, ÚwÚ and >_< nyeed nyo ^.^ mowe 
Than >_> what UwU I knyow, yet UwU shaww x3 the ^-^ owacwe 
Give xDD west to x3 th' minds of ;;w;; othews xDD such >_< as ^.^ he 
>_< Whose ÚwÚ ignyowant credulity xDD wiww nyot 
:3 Come x3 up to x3 th' truth. ^w^ So uWu have ^.^ we xDD thought >w< it ÚwÚ good 
Fwom UwU ouw fwee ÚwÚ pewson ^.^ she >_> shouwd be confin'd, 
Lest :3 that x3 the tweachewy of x3 the >w< two ^w^ fwed >w< hence 
^w^ Be left her to >_< pewfowm. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; fowwow us; 
We OwO awe to speak uWu in public; fow ÚwÚ this business 
Will >w< waise >_> us all. 
ANTIGONUS. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; To waughtew, >_< as UwU I OwO take :33 it, 
;;w;; If x3 the ÚwÚ good uWu twuth :3 wewe knyown. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
>_< Siciwia. ^-^ A :3 pwison 

Entew >w< PAUWINyA, :3 a GENTLEMAN, ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

OwO PAUWINyA. uWu The keeper of x3 the :33 pwison- caww to him; 
Let ^.^ him uWu have >_< knyowwedge who UwU I am. uWu Exit ^-^ GENTWEMAN 
^-^ Good :33 wady! 
No court uWu in Europe >_> is ^w^ too ÚwÚ good fow ÚwÚ thee; 
>_> What dost xDD thou xDD then uWu in UwU pwison? 

^.^ We-entew ^-^ GENTWEMAN with x3 the GAOLER 

>_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, 
>_> You ^.^ knyow uWu me, UwU do xDD you ^w^ nyot? 
GAOLER. For :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy UwU wady, 
xDD And one who much UwU I honyouw. 
OwO PAUWINyA. >_> Pway UwU you, >w< then, 
;;w;; Conduct ;;w;; me to x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. 
GAOLER. UwU I OwO may >_> nyot, x3 madam; 
;;w;; To x3 the :33 contwawy UwU I uWu have express :33 commandment. 
OwO PAUWINyA. >_> Hewe's ^w^ ado, to OwO wock x3 up honesty ÚwÚ and honour from 
xDD Th' x3 access of ^-^ gentwe visitors! ^-^ Is't lawful, pray UwU you, 
;;w;; To >_> see her women- xDD any of them? ^w^ Emiwia? 
GAOLER. ^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, UwU madam, 
;;w;; To put UwU apawt these x3 youw uWu attendants, 
Shall ;;w;; bwing Emilia forth. 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU I pray now, caww her. 
Withdraw youwsewves. Exeunt OwO ATTENDANTS 
GAOLER. ^.^ And, UwU madam, 
UwU I ^w^ must be xDD pwesent uWu at x3 youw conference. 
OwO PAUWINyA. xDD Weww, ^.^ be't >_> so, UwU pwithee. uWu Exit GAOLER 
>_> Hewe's xDD such x3 ado to >_< make nyo stain :3 a stain 
;;w;; As ^-^ passes ÚwÚ cowouwing. 

^.^ We-entew GAOWEW, with uWu EMIWIA 

>_< Deaw gentwewoman, 
How fawes UwU ouw >_> gwacious x3 wady? 
EMILIA. ;;w;; As weww >_< as one UwU so great ÚwÚ and UwU so ^.^ fowwown 
^-^ May howd together. On her ^-^ fwights ÚwÚ and ^.^ gwiefs, 
>_< Which >_< nyevew xDD tendew uWu wady hath :3 bownye ;;w;; gweatew, 
:33 She ;;w;; is, ^-^ something >w< befowe her time, :33 dewivew'd. 
OwO PAUWINyA. ^-^ A boy? 
EMILIA. ^-^ A ^w^ daughtew, ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD goodwy ^w^ babe, 
Lusty, ÚwÚ and ^.^ wike to wive. uWu The xDD Queen weceives 
Much uWu comfowt in't; ;;w;; says >w< 'My poor pwisonyew, 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as innocent >_< as >w< you.' 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU I dawe be swown. 
;;w;; These uWu dangewous ^w^ unsafe wunyes :33 i' x3 th' OwO King, :3 beshwew >w< them! 
>w< He ^w^ must be told on't, ÚwÚ and ^.^ he >_< shaww. uWu The ^.^ office 
>_> Becomes :3 a OwO woman OwO best; I'll x3 take't ;;w;; upon OwO me; 
;;w;; If UwU I ^-^ pwuv honey-mouth'd, wet x3 my >_> tongue blister, 
xDD And >_< nyevew to x3 my red-look'd ÚwÚ angew be 
uWu The ÚwÚ twumpet xDD any more. >_> Pway UwU you, uWu Emiwia, 
>_< Commend x3 my best ^.^ obedience to x3 the >w< Queen; 
;;w;; If ^.^ she x3 dawes :33 twust ;;w;; me with her xDD wittwe ^w^ babe, 
I'll OwO show't x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ and undewtake to be 
:3 Hew advocate to x3 th' xDD woud'st. We UwU do nyot ^.^ knyow 
How ^.^ he OwO may :33 soften uWu at x3 the ^.^ sight ^.^ o' x3 th' chiwd: 
uWu The :3 siwence often of puwe innyocence 
Pewsuades when speaking :33 faiws. 
EMILIA. :3 Most ÚwÚ wowthy UwU madam, 
uWu Youw honour ÚwÚ and x3 youw xDD goodnyess >_> is UwU so ^w^ evident 
:33 That x3 youw fwee x3 undewtaking ;;w;; cannyot ;;w;; miss 
^-^ A thriving uWu issue; there >_> is nyo uWu wady UwU wiving 
^w^ So :3 meet fow ÚwÚ this great ^-^ ewwand. ÚwÚ Pwease x3 youw >w< wadyship 
;;w;; To x3 visit x3 the :3 nyext room, I'll presently 
:3 Acquaint x3 the xDD Queen of x3 youw UwU most x3 nyobwe offer 
Who >_> but ^w^ to-day hammew'd of ÚwÚ this :33 design, 
OwO But x3 duwst nyot tempt :3 a xDD minyistew of honyouw, 
Lest ^.^ she >_> shouwd be uWu denyied. 
OwO PAUWINyA. Teww hew, uWu Emiwia, 
I'll use :3 that >_> tongue UwU I uWu have; >_> if wit fwow from't 
;;w;; As boldness from x3 my x3 bosom, let't nyot be xDD doubted 
UwU I UwU shaww UwU do UwU good. 
EMILIA. Now be xDD you bwest fow :3 it! 
I'll to x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you come ^-^ something >_> nyeawew. 
GAOLER. uWu Madam, if't uWu pwease x3 the xDD Queen to >_> send x3 the ^w^ babe, 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what UwU I UwU shaww :3 incuw to pass :33 it, 
>_> Having nyo ;;w;; wawwant. 
OwO PAUWINyA. >_> You >_< nyeed nyot feaw :33 it, sir. 
This chiwd UwU was ÚwÚ pwisonyew to x3 the womb, ÚwÚ and >_> is 
^-^ By law ÚwÚ and xDD pwocess of great ÚwÚ Nyatuwe thence 
>_< Fweed ÚwÚ and enfranchis'd- nyot :3 a party to 
uWu The ÚwÚ angew of x3 the OwO King, nor guiwty :33 of, 
;;w;; If xDD any be, x3 the trespass of x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. 
GAOLER. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve :3 it. 
OwO PAUWINyA. Do nyot xDD you ;;w;; feaw. >_> Upon >_< minye honyouw, UwU I 
Will stand betwixt xDD you ÚwÚ and danger. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
>_< Siciwia. uWu The ^w^ pawace of >w< WEONTES 

Entew LEONTES, >w< ANTIGONyUS, LORDS, ÚwÚ and ^-^ SEWVANTS 

x3 WEONTES. x3 Nyow >w< nyight nor day nyo west! ^.^ It >_> is >_> but ^.^ weaknyess 
;;w;; To UwU beaw x3 the ;;w;; mattew ^w^ thus- mere weakness. ;;w;; If 
uWu The cause :3 wewe nyot uWu in OwO being- ÚwÚ pawt ^.^ o' x3 th' >_< cause, 
>_> She, x3 th' adultress; fow x3 the hawwot x3 king 
Is quite ^w^ beyond >_< minye ^.^ awm, x3 out of x3 the ;;w;; bwank 
xDD And ^w^ wevew of x3 my :3 bwain, >_> pwot-pwoof; >_> but ^.^ she 
UwU I ^.^ can ÚwÚ hook to me- >_> say :3 that ^.^ she :3 wewe >w< gonye, 
Given to x3 the ^w^ fiwe, :3 a >_> moiety of x3 my xDD west 
^.^ Might come to ;;w;; me ;;w;; again. Who's OwO thewe? 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. OwO My xDD wowd? 
x3 WEONTES. How does x3 the boy? 
uWu FIWST SEWVANT. >w< He >_> took ÚwÚ good xDD west to-nyight; 
'Tis ^w^ hop'd :33 his sicknyess >_> is discharg'd. 
x3 WEONTES. ;;w;; To >_> see :33 his >_> nyobwenyess! 
>_< Conceiving x3 the x3 dishonyouw of :33 his :33 mothew, 
>w< He ^w^ stwaight :3 decwin'd, droop'd, >_> took >w< it deeply, 
ÚwÚ Fasten'd ÚwÚ and fix'd x3 the ^-^ shame ^.^ on't uWu in himsewf, 
UwU Thwew x3 off :33 his ^-^ spiwit, :33 his uWu appetite, :33 his sweep, 
xDD And downwight >_< wanguish'd. Weave ;;w;; me x3 sowewy. ^w^ Go, 
xDD See >w< how ^.^ he >w< fawes. ;;w;; [Exit >_> SEWVANT] OwO Fie, fie! nyo xDD thought of x3 him! 
uWu The xDD vewy xDD thought of x3 my :33 wevenges :3 that uWu way 
uWu Wecoiw ;;w;; upon me- uWu in >_< himsewf ^w^ too x3 mighty, 
xDD And uWu in :33 his >_> pawties, :33 his alliance. Let ^.^ him be, 
Untiw :3 a time OwO may serve; fow xDD pwesent vengeance, 
^.^ Take >w< it on her. Camiwwo ÚwÚ and UwU Powixenyes 
Laugh uWu at uWu me, >_< make uWu theiw >w< pastime uWu at x3 my ;;w;; sowwow. 
^-^ They >_> shouwd nyot laugh >_> if UwU I couwd :3 weach OwO them; nor 
Shall uWu she, within x3 my xDD pow'w. 

Entew >w< PAUWINyA, with :3 a :33 CHIWD 

uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> You ^w^ must nyot enter. 
OwO PAUWINyA. Nyay, UwU wathew, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowds, be second to x3 me. 
Fear xDD you :33 his tywannyous passion >_> mowe, :3 awas, 
Than x3 the Queen's :33 wife? ^-^ A >_> gwacious innocent x3 souw, 
uWu Mowe fwee than ^.^ he >_> is UwU jeawous. 
ANTIGONUS. >w< That's enyough. 
^w^ SECOND SEWVANT. uWu Madam, ^.^ he hath nyot slept to-nyight; :3 commanded 
^-^ Nyonye >_> shouwd come uWu at ^.^ him. 
OwO PAUWINyA. ÚwÚ Nyot UwU so >_> hot, ÚwÚ good siw; 
UwU I come to ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him OwO sweep. 'Tis xDD such >_< as UwU you, 
:33 That :3 cweep ^.^ wike ^-^ shadows ^.^ by :3 him, ÚwÚ and UwU do x3 sigh 
At >_< each :33 his >_> nyeedwess ;;w;; heavings- xDD such >_< as xDD you 
>_> Nyouwish x3 the cause of :33 his awaking: UwU I 
Do come with wowds >_< as medicinyaw >_< as ^-^ twue, 
:3 Honyest >_< as ^-^ eithew, to OwO puwge ^.^ him of :3 that humouw 
:33 That ;;w;; pwesses ^.^ him from OwO sweep. 
x3 WEONTES. >_> What noise thewe, ho? 
OwO PAUWINyA. No noise, x3 my wowd; >_> but needful conference 
About x3 some OwO gossips fow x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. 
x3 WEONTES. OwO How! 
UwU Away with :3 that audacious :33 wady! >_> Antigonyus, 
UwU I :3 chawg'd uWu thee :3 that ^.^ she >_> shouwd nyot come about OwO me; 
UwU I UwU knyew ^.^ she would. 
ANTIGONUS. UwU I told her >_> so, x3 my uWu wowd, 
On x3 youw >_< dispweasuwe's x3 pewiw, ÚwÚ and on >_> minye, 
:33 She >_> shouwd nyot x3 visit OwO you. 
x3 WEONTES. What, ;;w;; canst nyot UwU wuwe OwO hew? 
OwO PAUWINyA. Fwom aww >_> dishonyesty ^.^ he >_< can: uWu in uWu this, 
OwO Unwess ^.^ he OwO take x3 the course :3 that xDD you uWu have xDD donye- 
^-^ Commit ;;w;; me fow ÚwÚ committing ^w^ honyouw- :33 twust :33 it, 
>w< He UwU shaww nyot UwU wuwe x3 me. 
ANTIGONUS. :33 Wa xDD you now, xDD you hear! 
x3 When ^.^ she xDD wiww OwO take x3 the rein, UwU I wet her run; 
OwO But ^.^ she'ww nyot stumbwe. 
OwO PAUWINyA. ^-^ Good x3 my ^.^ wiege, UwU I come- 
xDD And UwU I :33 beseech xDD you hear uWu me, who >_< pwofesses 
xDD Mysewf x3 youw loyal uWu sewvant, x3 youw >_> physician, 
uWu Youw UwU most obedient x3 counsewwow; yet :3 that x3 dawes 
Wess appeaw >_> so, uWu in UwU comfowting x3 youw uWu eviws, 
Than xDD such >_< as UwU most xDD seem OwO youws- UwU I >_> say UwU I come 
Fwom x3 youw ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ Queen. 
x3 WEONTES. ^-^ Good ^w^ Queen! 
OwO PAUWINyA. ^-^ Good :3 Queen, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ good Queen- UwU I >_> say ÚwÚ good >w< Queen; 
xDD And ^.^ wouwd ^.^ by :33 combat >_< make her UwU good, UwU so :3 wewe UwU I 
^-^ A ^w^ man, x3 the worst about OwO you. 
x3 WEONTES. >w< Fowce her x3 hence. 
OwO PAUWINyA. Let ^.^ him :3 that x3 makes >_> but twifwes of :33 his eyes 
First uWu hand x3 me. On >_< minye UwU own ;;w;; accowd I'll :33 off; 
OwO But xDD fiwst I'll UwU do x3 my ^-^ ewwand. uWu The ÚwÚ good :3 Queen, 
For ^.^ she >_> is UwU good, hath ^.^ bwought xDD you fowth :3 a ;;w;; daughtew; 
:3 Hewe ÚwÚ 'tis; uWu commends >w< it to x3 youw blessing. 
[Laying down x3 the ;;w;; chiwd] 
x3 WEONTES. UwU Out! 
^-^ A ^.^ mankind :3 witch! OwO Hence with hew, x3 out ^.^ o' >w< doow! 
^-^ A UwU most intewwigencing >w< bawd! 
OwO PAUWINyA. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 so. 
UwU I ^w^ am >_< as ÚwÚ ignyowant uWu in :3 that >_< as xDD you 
^w^ In UwU so entitwing OwO me; ÚwÚ and nyo less xDD honyest 
Than xDD you OwO awe >w< mad; which >_> is UwU enyough, I'll warrant, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ this wowwd :33 goes, to pass fow honest. 
x3 WEONTES. ^w^ Twaitows! 
Will xDD you nyot :3 push her out? Give her x3 the bastawd. 
:33 [To ;;w;; ANTIGONyUS] ^.^ Thou x3 dotawd, xDD thou awt OwO woman-tiw'd, unwoosted 
^-^ By >w< thy x3 Dame ÚwÚ Pawtwet hewe. ^.^ Take x3 up x3 the bastawd; 
Take't up, UwU I say; >_> give't to >w< thy :33 cwonye. 
OwO PAUWINyA. For OwO evew 
Unvenyewabwe be >w< thy ^.^ hands, >_> if xDD thou 
UwU Tak'st x3 up x3 the Pwincess ^.^ by :3 that xDD fowced baseness 
>_< Which ^.^ he >_> has put ÚwÚ upon't! 
x3 WEONTES. >w< He dweads :33 his x3 wife. 
OwO PAUWINyA. ^w^ So UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you ^.^ did; xDD then >w< 'twewe x3 past aww doubt 
UwU You'd caww x3 youw x3 chiwdwen x3 youws. 
x3 WEONTES. ^-^ A nyest of :33 twaitows! 
ANTIGONUS. UwU I ^w^ am nyonye, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ good light. 
OwO PAUWINyA. x3 Nyow x3 I; nor xDD any 
OwO But one ^w^ that's ^.^ hewe; ÚwÚ and ^w^ that's :33 himsewf; fow ^.^ he 
uWu The uWu sacwed honour of himsewf, :33 his :33 Queen's, 
ÚwÚ His hopeful OwO son's, :33 his ^w^ babe's, ^w^ betways to slander, 
>_< Whose ÚwÚ sting >_> is sharper than x3 the sword's; ÚwÚ and xDD wiww nyot- 
For, >_< as x3 the case nyow stands, >w< it >_> is :3 a UwU cuwse 
>w< He ;;w;; cannyot be OwO compeww'd to UwU 't- >_> once remove 
uWu The ^.^ woot of :33 his :33 opinyion, which >_> is wotten 
;;w;; As OwO evew ÚwÚ oak ow stone UwU was UwU sound. 
x3 WEONTES. ^-^ A callat 
Of boundwess ;;w;; tongue, who wate hath xDD beat her ^.^ husband, 
xDD And nyow baits me! This :3 bwat >_> is >_< nyonye of minye; 
^.^ It >_> is x3 the x3 issue of Polixenes. 
OwO Hence with :33 it, ÚwÚ and togethew with x3 the :3 dam 
^-^ Commit them to x3 the >_> fiwe. 
OwO PAUWINyA. ^.^ It >_> is x3 youws. 
^.^ And, ^w^ might ^.^ we uWu way x3 th' ;;w;; owd pwuvwb to x3 youw charge, 
^w^ So ^.^ wike xDD you UwU 'tis x3 the x3 wowse. UwU Behowd, x3 my wowds, 
Awthough x3 the pwint be UwU wittwe, x3 the whole ;;w;; mattew 
xDD And copy of x3 the ^-^ fathew- >_< eye, nose, x3 wip, 
uWu The twick >_> of's fwown, :33 his ^.^ fowehead; x3 nyay, x3 the valley, 
uWu The OwO pwetty ;;w;; dimpwes of :33 his ^w^ chin ÚwÚ and OwO cheek; :33 his ÚwÚ smiwes; 
uWu The xDD vewy mould ÚwÚ and fwame of uWu hand, xDD nyaiw, finger. 
xDD And UwU thou, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ goddess OwO Nyatuwe, which x3 hast UwU made >w< it 
^w^ So ^.^ wike to ^.^ him :3 that ^w^ got :33 it, >_> if xDD thou x3 hast 
uWu The xDD owdewing of x3 the ^-^ mind :3 too, ^w^ 'mongst aww cowouws 
No >w< yewwow OwO in't, xDD west ^.^ she ;;w;; suspect, >_< as ^.^ he >w< does, 
:3 Hew x3 chiwdwen nyot her ^-^ husband's! 
x3 WEONTES. ^-^ A gwoss >w< hag! 
^.^ And, lozel, xDD thou awt ÚwÚ wowthy to be :33 hang'd 
:33 That wiwt nyot xDD stay her :33 tongue. 
ANTIGONUS. Hang aww x3 the ;;w;; husbands 
:33 That ;;w;; cannyot UwU do :3 that :33 feat, you'ww OwO weave >_> youwsewf 
:33 Hawdwy one xDD subject. 
x3 WEONTES. Once >_> mowe, OwO take her x3 hence. 
OwO PAUWINyA. ^-^ A UwU most >_< unwowthy ÚwÚ and unnyatuwaw ;;w;; wowd 
UwU Can UwU do nyo more. 
x3 WEONTES. I'll UwU ha' uWu thee ;;w;; buwnt. 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU I :3 cawe not. 
^.^ It >_> is >w< an >_> hewetic :3 that x3 makes x3 the ^w^ fiwe, 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ she which buwns ÚwÚ in't. I'll nyot caww xDD you tyrant 
OwO But ÚwÚ this UwU most UwU cwuew :3 usage of x3 youw Queen- 
ÚwÚ Nyot able to produce ^.^ mowe :33 accusation 
Than x3 youw UwU own ;;w;; weak-hing'd :3 fancy- ^-^ something UwU savouws 
Of tywanny, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww ignoble >_< make UwU you, 
Yea, x3 scandawous to x3 the wowwd. 
x3 WEONTES. On x3 youw xDD awwegiance, 
UwU Out of x3 the x3 chambew with >_> hew! ^.^ Wewe UwU I :3 a ^w^ tywant, 
Whewe :3 wewe her :33 wife? :33 She x3 duwst nyot caww ;;w;; me >_> so, 
;;w;; If ^.^ she uWu did ^.^ knyow ;;w;; me onye. UwU Away with >_> hew! 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU I pray UwU you, UwU do nyot :3 push OwO me; I'll be ;;w;; gonye. 
Wook to x3 youw ^w^ babe, x3 my wowd; UwU 'tis x3 youws. Juv >_> send her 
^-^ A xDD bettew guiding :33 spiwit! >_> What >_< nyeeds these hands? 
>_> You :3 that OwO awe OwO thus UwU so xDD tendew ^-^ o'ew :33 his follies 
Will >_< nyevew UwU do ^.^ him UwU good, nyot one of OwO you. 
So, :3 so. Farewell; ^.^ we OwO awe ;;w;; gonye. uWu Exit 
x3 WEONTES. Thou, traitor, x3 hast uWu set on >w< thy >w< wife to UwU this. 
OwO My >_> chiwd! UwU Away :33 with't. Even UwU thou, :3 that x3 hast 
^-^ A >_< heawt UwU so xDD tendew ^-^ o'ew :33 it, OwO take >w< it hence, 
xDD And >_> see >w< it instantly x3 consum'd with x3 fiwe; 
Even UwU thou, ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye >_> but thou. ^.^ Take >w< it x3 up stwaight. 
OwO Within ÚwÚ this >_> houw ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me ;;w;; wowd UwU 'tis :33 donye, 
xDD And ^.^ by ÚwÚ good testimony, ow I'll x3 seize >w< thy :3 wife, 
With :3 that xDD thou >_> ewse caww'st ÚwÚ thinye. ;;w;; If xDD thou wefuse, 
xDD And wiwt x3 encountew with x3 my :33 wwath, >_> say so; 
uWu The ^.^ bastawd brains with these x3 my OwO pwopew ^.^ hands 
Shall UwU I ÚwÚ dash OwO out. ^w^ Go, OwO take >w< it to x3 the x3 fiwe; 
For xDD thou :33 set'st on >w< thy x3 wife. 
ANTIGONUS. UwU I uWu did >_> nyot, sir. 
;;w;; These wowds, x3 my x3 nyobwe fewwows, >_> if ;;w;; they please, 
UwU Can ^-^ cweaw ;;w;; me ÚwÚ in't. 
ÚwÚ WOWDS. We ;;w;; can. OwO My royal ^.^ wiege, 
>w< He >_> is nyot guiwty of her xDD coming hithew. 
x3 WEONTES. uWu You'we ;;w;; wiaws all. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. Beseech x3 youw >w< Highnyess, UwU give >_> us xDD bettew >w< cwedit. 
We uWu have awways :33 twuwy sewv'd uWu you; ÚwÚ and :33 beseech 
^w^ So to >_> esteem of us; ÚwÚ and on UwU ouw knees ^.^ we xDD beg, 
;;w;; As recompense of UwU ouw uWu deaw >_< sewvices 
^w^ Past ÚwÚ and to come, :3 that xDD you UwU do change ÚwÚ this xDD puwpose, 
>_< Which ^.^ being UwU so x3 howwibwe, UwU so x3 bwoody, ^w^ must 
xDD Wead on to x3 some fouw UwU issue. We aww knyeew. 
x3 WEONTES. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a ÚwÚ feathew fow >_< each wind :3 that ÚwÚ bwows. 
Shall UwU I ^w^ wive on to >_> see ÚwÚ this ^.^ bastawd ^w^ knyeew 
xDD And caww ;;w;; me father? uWu Bettew buwn >w< it nyow 
Than UwU cuwse >w< it UwU then. OwO But be uWu it; wet >w< it wive. 
^.^ It UwU shaww nyot >_> nyeithew. :33 [To ;;w;; ANTIGONyUS] >_< You, UwU Siw, come xDD you hithew. 
>_> You :3 that uWu have :33 been UwU so ;;w;; tendewwy uWu officious 
With xDD Wady Mawgewy, x3 youw midwife thewe, 
;;w;; To :3 save ÚwÚ this >_< bastawd's life- fow UwU 'tis :3 a ÚwÚ bastawd, 
^w^ So >_< suwe >_< as ÚwÚ this beawd's uWu gwey- >_> what xDD wiww xDD you adventuwe 
;;w;; To :3 save ÚwÚ this >w< bwat's :33 wife? 
ANTIGONUS. >w< Anything, x3 my uWu wowd, 
:33 That x3 my ability OwO may ^-^ undewgo, 
xDD And nobleness impose. At least, OwO thus much: 
I'll ^.^ pawn x3 the xDD wittwe :3 bwood which UwU I uWu have left 
;;w;; To :3 save x3 the >_< innyocent- ;;w;; anything UwU possibwe. 
x3 WEONTES. ^.^ It UwU shaww be UwU possibwe. Swear ^.^ by ÚwÚ this xDD swowd 
^.^ Thou wiwt x3 pewfowm x3 my xDD bidding. 
ANTIGONUS. UwU I :33 wiww, x3 my OwO wowd. 
x3 WEONTES. ;;w;; Mawk, ÚwÚ and x3 pewfowm OwO it- seest thou? For x3 the fail 
Of xDD any :33 point OwO in't UwU shaww nyot >w< onwy be 
>_> Death to ;;w;; thysewf, >_> but to >w< thy x3 wewd-tongu'd :3 wife, 
;;w;; Whom fow ÚwÚ this time ^.^ we pardon. We ;;w;; enjoin ÚwÚ thee, 
;;w;; As xDD thou awt OwO wiegeman to us, :3 that xDD thou carry 
This >_< femawe ^.^ bastawd OwO hence; ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD thou UwU beaw >w< it 
;;w;; To x3 some wemote ÚwÚ and desewt pwace, quite x3 out 
Of UwU ouw ^w^ dominyions; ÚwÚ and :3 that there xDD thou OwO weave :33 it, 
Without ^.^ mowe mercy, to >w< it UwU own pwotection 
xDD And ^.^ favouw of x3 the climate. ;;w;; As ^.^ by ;;w;; stwange :3 fowtunye 
^.^ It ^-^ came to us, UwU I UwU do uWu in justice :3 chawge ÚwÚ thee, 
On >w< thy x3 souw's peril ÚwÚ and >w< thy body's torture, 
:33 That xDD thou ÚwÚ commend >w< it OwO stwangewy to x3 some :33 pwace 
Whewe chance OwO may nyuwse ow >w< end :3 it. ^.^ Take >w< it :33 up. 
ANTIGONUS. UwU I >_< sweaw to UwU do uWu this, ^w^ though :3 a xDD pwesent :33 death 
xDD Had :33 been ^.^ mowe mewcifuw. :3 Come ;;w;; on, poor OwO babe. 
;;w;; Some powerful ^w^ spiwit instwuct x3 the :33 kites ÚwÚ and wavens 
;;w;; To be >w< thy ^w^ nyuwses! >w< Wowves ÚwÚ and bears, ;;w;; they say, 
^.^ Casting uWu theiw >_< savagenyess ÚwÚ aside, uWu have donye 
Wike ;;w;; offices of >_> pity. UwU Siw, be :33 pwospewous 
^w^ In ^.^ mowe than ÚwÚ this ^.^ deed does wequiwe! xDD And >_> bwessing 
^w^ Against ÚwÚ this OwO cwuewty >w< fight on >w< thy side, 
OwO Poow ÚwÚ thing, condemn'd to ^w^ woss! uWu Exit with x3 the chiwd 
x3 WEONTES. :3 Nyo, I'll nyot ^-^ weaw 
Another's UwU issue. 

Entew :3 a SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. ÚwÚ Pwease x3 youw >w< Highnyess, :3 posts 
Fwom UwU those xDD you sent to x3 th' ^-^ owacwe OwO awe come 
^-^ An >_> houw since. Cleomenes ÚwÚ and >_> Dion, 
uWu Being weww ^-^ awwiv'd from Delphos, OwO awe both wanded, 
^.^ Hasting to x3 th' >_< couwt. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. ^w^ So uWu pwease UwU you, ^w^ siw, uWu theiw ^w^ speed 
>_< Hath :33 been ^w^ beyond OwO account. 
x3 WEONTES. Twenty-thwee OwO days 
^-^ They uWu have :33 been ^-^ absent; UwU 'tis ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ speed; >_< fowetewws 
uWu The great Apollo ;;w;; suddenwy xDD wiww uWu have 
uWu The uWu twuth of ÚwÚ this :3 appeaw. Pwepawe UwU you, :3 wowds; 
^.^ Summon :3 a x3 session, :3 that ^.^ we OwO may arraign 
Our UwU most :3 diswoyaw ;;w;; wady; for, >_< as ^.^ she hath 
:33 Been ÚwÚ pubwicwy xDD accus'd, UwU so UwU shaww ^.^ she uWu have 
^-^ A >w< just ÚwÚ and open trial. While ^.^ she lives, 
OwO My >_< heawt xDD wiww be :3 a buwden to x3 me. Weave OwO me; 
xDD And think ;;w;; upon x3 my xDD bidding. Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT >_> III. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_< Siciwia. On x3 the woad to x3 the UwU Capitaw 

Entew CWEOMENyES ÚwÚ and OwO DION 

CWEOMENyES. uWu The x3 cwimate's >_> dewicate, x3 the ^w^ aiw UwU most sweet, 
Fewtiwe x3 the isle, x3 the OwO tempwe much OwO suwpassing 
uWu The ^w^ common praise >w< it beaws. 
uWu DION. UwU I UwU shaww wepowt, 
For UwU most >w< it caught uWu me, x3 the ^w^ cewestiaw uWu habits- 
Methinks UwU I UwU so >_> shouwd term OwO them- ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ wevewence 
Of x3 the :3 gwave >w< weawews. >_< O, x3 the ÚwÚ sacwifice! 
How ceremonious, :33 sowemn, ÚwÚ and unearthly, 
^.^ It UwU was :33 i' x3 th' ^-^ off'wing! 
CWEOMENyES. OwO But of all, x3 the burst 
xDD And x3 the OwO eaw-deaf'nying uWu voice ^.^ o' x3 th' owacwe, 
^w^ Kin to Juv's thundew, UwU so suwpwis'd x3 my sense 
:33 That UwU I UwU was OwO nyothing. 
uWu DION. ;;w;; If x3 th' event ^.^ o' x3 th' ^w^ jouwnyey 
^-^ Pwuv >_< as ^w^ successfuw to x3 the Queen- >_< O, ^.^ be't so!- 
;;w;; As >w< it hath :33 been to >_> us wawe, uWu pweasant, :33 speedy, 
uWu The time >_> is ^.^ wowth x3 the use ^.^ on't. 
CWEOMENyES. UwU Gweat Apollo 
Tuwn aww to x3 th' ^w^ best! ;;w;; These pwocwamations, 
^w^ So forcing :33 fauwts ;;w;; upon ^.^ Hewmionye, 
UwU I xDD wittwe >_> wike. 
uWu DION. uWu The :3 viowent xDD cawwiage of >w< it 
Will ^-^ cweaw ow >w< end x3 the business. x3 When x3 the owacwe- 
^-^ Thus ^.^ by xDD Apowwo's great divine OwO seaw'd xDD up- 
Shall x3 the contents discover, ^-^ something OwO wawe 
Even xDD then xDD wiww >_< wush to knowledge. :33 Go; >w< fwesh :33 howses. 
xDD And >_> gwacious be x3 the issue! Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
>_< Siciwia. ^-^ A court of justice 

Entew LEONTES, LORDS, ÚwÚ and OFFICEWS 

x3 WEONTES. This x3 sessions, to UwU ouw great grief ^.^ we OwO pwonyounce, 
Even pushes uWu 'gainst UwU ouw ÚwÚ heawt- x3 the party twied, 
uWu The daughter of :3 a OwO king, UwU ouw :3 wife, ÚwÚ and one 
Of >_> us ^w^ too much xDD bewov'd. Let >_> us be xDD cweaw'd 
Of ^.^ being >_> tywannyous, xDD since ^.^ we UwU so OwO openwy 
ÚwÚ Pwoceed uWu in justice, which UwU shaww uWu have >_< due course, 
Even to x3 the guilt ow x3 the ^w^ puwgation. 
UwU Pwoduce x3 the ^w^ pwisonyew. 
:3 OFFICEW. ^.^ It >_> is :33 his Highness' :3 pweasuwe :3 that x3 the xDD Queen 
Appear uWu in ÚwÚ pewson OwO hewe uWu in >_< couwt. 

Entew HERMIONE, >_< as to her OwO twiaw, >w< PAUWINyA, ÚwÚ and :3 WADIES 

Silence! 
x3 WEONTES. xDD Wead x3 the indictment. 
:3 OFFICEW. [Weads] >_> 'Hewmionye, xDD Queen to x3 the ÚwÚ wowthy Weontes, ^w^ King of 
x3 Siciwia, xDD thou awt OwO hewe accused ÚwÚ and arraigned of xDD high uWu tweason, uWu in 
ÚwÚ committing adultery with ÚwÚ Powixenyes, ^w^ King of Bohemia; ÚwÚ and 
conspiring with Camiwwo to OwO take OwO away x3 the >w< wife of UwU ouw suvweign 
;;w;; wowd x3 the OwO King, >w< thy royal husband: x3 the >_< pwetence xDD wheweof ^.^ being ^.^ by 
>_> ciwcumstances ;;w;; pawtwy laid open, UwU thou, ^.^ Hewmionye, :33 contwawy to x3 the 
:33 faith ÚwÚ and OwO awwegiance of true uWu subject, :33 didst counsel ÚwÚ and >_> aid ÚwÚ them, 
fow uWu theiw xDD bettew safety, to fwy OwO away ^.^ by :3 nyight.' 
>w< HEWMIONyE. Since >_> what UwU I ^w^ am to >_> say ^w^ must be >_> but :3 that 
>_< Which ÚwÚ contwadicts x3 my uWu accusation, ÚwÚ and 
uWu The testimony on x3 my ÚwÚ pawt nyo othew 
OwO But >_> what x3 comes from myself, >w< it UwU shaww scawce ^w^ boot ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To >_> say 'Not uWu guiwty.' Mine >_< integwity 
uWu Being :3 counted UwU fawsehood UwU shaww, >_< as UwU I express :33 it, 
^w^ Be UwU so ^.^ weceiv'd. OwO But ^w^ thus- >_> if pow'rs divine 
ÚwÚ Behowd UwU ouw human UwU actions, >_< as ;;w;; they UwU do, 
UwU I doubt nyot xDD then >_> but innyocence UwU shaww >_< make 
ÚwÚ Fawse :33 accusation blush, ÚwÚ and uWu tywanny 
Twembwe uWu at OwO patience. >_< You, x3 my uWu wowd, best UwU knyow- 
Who least xDD wiww xDD seem to UwU do OwO so- x3 my x3 past >w< wife 
>_< Hath :33 been >_< as continent, >_< as chaste, >_< as ^-^ twue, 
;;w;; As UwU I ^w^ am nyow >_< unhappy; which >_> is ^.^ mowe 
Than :33 histowy ^.^ can pattewn, ^w^ though :3 devis'd 
xDD And pway'd to OwO take spectatows; fow behowd me- 
^-^ A fewwow of x3 the royal ^.^ bed, which >_> owe 
^-^ A >_> moiety of x3 the throne, :3 a great >_< king's ^w^ daughtew, 
uWu The mothew to :3 a hopeful prince- OwO hewe >_< standing 
;;w;; To prate ÚwÚ and tawk fow >w< wife ÚwÚ and honour fore 
Who uWu pwease to come ÚwÚ and heaw. For :3 wife, UwU I >w< pwize >w< it 
;;w;; As UwU I >w< weigh gwief, which UwU I ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ spawe; fow honyouw, 
'Tis :3 a derivative from ;;w;; me to >_> minye, 
xDD And >w< onwy :3 that UwU I stand ;;w;; fow. UwU I appeaw 
;;w;; To x3 youw UwU own OwO conscience, ^w^ siw, >w< befowe UwU Powixenyes 
>_< Came to x3 youw xDD couwt, >w< how UwU I UwU was uWu in x3 youw gwace, 
How ;;w;; mewited to be so; xDD since ^.^ he came, 
With >_> what x3 encountew UwU so uncurrent UwU I 
:3 Have ÚwÚ stwain'd t' appeaw ^.^ thus; >_> if one jot ^w^ beyond 
uWu The bound of honyouw, ow uWu in ;;w;; act ow xDD wiww 
:33 That uWu way >_> incwinying, >_< hawd'nyed be x3 the heawts 
Of aww :3 that hear uWu me, ÚwÚ and x3 my nyeaw'st of ^-^ kin 
Cwy fie ;;w;; upon x3 my grave! 
x3 WEONTES. UwU I ^w^ nye'ew heard yet 
:33 That xDD any of these ^.^ bowdew OwO vices OwO wanted 
Wess x3 impudence to ^.^ gainsay >_> what ;;w;; they uWu did 
Than to x3 pewfowm >w< it fiwst. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. >w< That's true >_< enyough; 
;;w;; Though UwU 'tis :3 a ^w^ saying, ^w^ siw, nyot >_< due to x3 me. 
x3 WEONTES. >_> You xDD wiww nyot UwU own :3 it. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. uWu Mowe than mistwess of 
>_< Which x3 comes to ;;w;; me uWu in xDD nyame of ^w^ fauwt, UwU I ^w^ must nyot 
At aww :33 acknyowwedge. For ÚwÚ Powixenyes, 
With ÚwÚ whom UwU I ^w^ am xDD accus'd, UwU I UwU do x3 confess 
UwU I :3 wov'd ^.^ him >_< as uWu in honour ^.^ he x3 wequiw'd; 
With xDD such :3 a uWu kind of wuv >_< as ^w^ might :33 become 
^-^ A uWu wady ^.^ wike OwO me; with :3 a wuv even xDD such, 
^w^ So ÚwÚ and nyo ÚwÚ othew, >_< as >_> youwsewf >_> commanded; 
>_< Which nyot to uWu have :33 donye, UwU I think xDD had :33 been uWu in ;;w;; me 
UwU Both uWu disobedience ÚwÚ and ingratitude 
;;w;; To xDD you ÚwÚ and toward x3 youw fwiend; x3 whose wuv xDD had ;;w;; spoke, 
^w^ Evew xDD since >w< it couwd :3 speak, from >w< an >_< infant, freely, 
:33 That >w< it UwU was x3 youws. Now fow conspiwacy: 
UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how >w< it >w< tastes, ^w^ though >w< it be xDD dish'd 
For ;;w;; me to >_> twy :3 how; aww UwU I ^.^ knyow of >w< it 
Is :3 that Camiwwo UwU was >w< an xDD honyest xDD man; 
xDD And >w< why ^.^ he left x3 youw xDD couwt, x3 the gods ^.^ themsewves, 
xDD Wotting nyo ^.^ mowe than I, OwO awe ignorant. 
x3 WEONTES. >_> You UwU knyew of :33 his departure, >_< as xDD you ^.^ knyow 
>_> What xDD you uWu have ;;w;; undewta'en to UwU do in's OwO absence. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. UwU Siw, 
>_> You speak :3 a language :3 that UwU I understand not. 
OwO My >w< wife >w< stands uWu in x3 the ^w^ wevew of x3 youw ^-^ dweams, 
>_< Which I'll uWu way down. 
x3 WEONTES. uWu Youw ;;w;; actions OwO awe x3 my dweams. 
>_> You xDD had :3 a ^.^ bastawd ^.^ by ÚwÚ Powixenyes, 
xDD And UwU I >_> but ^.^ dweam'd :3 it. ;;w;; As xDD you :3 wewe x3 past aww uWu shame- 
>w< Those of x3 youw ^w^ fact OwO awe OwO so- UwU so x3 past aww truth; 
>_< Which to UwU deny uWu concewns ^.^ mowe than OwO avaiws; fow >_< as 
x3 Thy :3 bwat hath :33 been ;;w;; cast ^.^ out, ^.^ wike to itself, 
No >w< fathew ownying OwO it- which >_> is ÚwÚ indeed 
uWu Mowe >_< cwiminyaw uWu in uWu thee than OwO it- UwU so xDD thou 
>_> Shawt x3 feew UwU ouw justice; uWu in x3 whose :3 easiest uWu passage 
Wook fow nyo less than death. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. UwU Siw, ^-^ spawe x3 youw threats. 
uWu The bug which xDD you ^.^ wouwd :33 fwight ;;w;; me with UwU I seek. 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me ^.^ can >w< wife be nyo :33 commodity. 
uWu The >_< cwown ÚwÚ and uWu comfowt of x3 my :3 wife, x3 youw favour, 
UwU I UwU do UwU give :3 wost, fow UwU I UwU do x3 feew >w< it >w< gonye, 
OwO But ^.^ knyow nyot >w< how >w< it ^.^ went; x3 my second joy 
xDD And xDD fiwst ÚwÚ fwuits of x3 my ;;w;; body, from :33 his x3 pwesence 
UwU I ^w^ am ^w^ baww'd, ^.^ wike one xDD infectious; x3 my thiwd comfort, 
:33 Staww'd UwU most :3 unwuckiwy, >_> is from x3 my uWu bweast- 
uWu The innocent milk uWu in >w< it UwU most innocent mouth- 
Haw'd x3 out to :3 muwdew; mysewf on every x3 post 
Pwocwaim'd :3 a strumpet; with xDD immodest >_< hatwed 
uWu The ÚwÚ chiwd-bed OwO pwiviwege denied, which ÚwÚ 'wongs 
;;w;; To x3 women of aww fashion; lastly, ^.^ huwwied 
:3 Hewe to ÚwÚ this pwace, :33 i' x3 th' open air, >w< befowe 
UwU I uWu have ^w^ got ÚwÚ stwength of limit. >_> Nyow, x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
Teww ;;w;; me >_> what bwessings UwU I uWu have OwO hewe ^.^ awive 
:33 That UwU I >_> shouwd feaw to die. Therefore ^-^ pwoceed. 
OwO But yet hear OwO this- ÚwÚ mistake ;;w;; me not: nyo :3 wife, 
UwU I >w< pwize >w< it nyot :3 a ^-^ stwaw, >_> but fow >_< minye honour 
>_< Which UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 fwee- >_> if UwU I UwU shaww be condemn'd 
>_> Upon suwmises, aww proofs x3 sweeping >_> ewse 
OwO But >_> what x3 youw jeawousies >w< awake, UwU I tell xDD you 
'Tis rigour, ÚwÚ and nyot law. uWu Youw honyouws all, 
UwU I UwU do :3 wefew ;;w;; me to x3 the >w< owacwe: 
Apollo be x3 my >_< judge! 
uWu FIWST WOWD. This x3 youw request 
Is ;;w;; awtogethew ;;w;; just. >_< Thewefowe, ;;w;; bwing ^-^ fowth, 
xDD And uWu in xDD Apowwo's :33 nyame, :33 his owacwe. 
Exeunt xDD cewtain OFFICEWS 
>w< HEWMIONyE. uWu The >_> Empewow of Wussia UwU was x3 my father; 
x3 O :3 that ^.^ he :3 wewe ^.^ awive, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe beholding 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ daughtew's twiaw! :3 that ^.^ he uWu did >_> but >_> see 
uWu The >w< fwatnyess of x3 my misewy; yet with eyes 
Of pity, nyot wevenge! 

^.^ We-entew ^w^ OFFICEWS, with CWEOMENyES ÚwÚ and OwO DION 

:3 OFFICEW. >_> You OwO hewe UwU shaww >_< sweaw ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this xDD swowd of justice 
:33 That UwU you, Cleomenes ÚwÚ and >_> Dion, uWu have 
:33 Been both uWu at Delphos, ÚwÚ and from thence uWu have ^.^ bwought 
This >_< seaw'd-up owacwe, ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand :33 dewivew'd 
Of great xDD Apowwo's pwiest; ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD since xDD then 
>_> You uWu have nyot ^w^ daw'd to bweak x3 the >w< howy UwU seaw 
x3 Nyow ^w^ wead x3 the ^w^ secwets ÚwÚ in't. 
CWEOMENyES, uWu DION. All ÚwÚ this ^.^ we OwO sweaw. 
x3 WEONTES. ^.^ Bweak x3 up x3 the >_> seaws ÚwÚ and wead. 
:3 OFFICEW. [Weads] 'Hermione >_> is >_< chaste; UwU Powixenyes uWu bwamewess; 
Camiwwo :3 a true ;;w;; subject; :3 Weontes :3 a jealous tyrant; :33 his innocent 
>w< babe :33 twuwy begotten; ÚwÚ and x3 the ^w^ King UwU shaww ^w^ wive ^-^ without >w< an heiw, >_> if 
:3 that which >_> is wost be nyot :3 found.' 
ÚwÚ WOWDS. Now blessed be x3 the great ^.^ Apowwo! 
>w< HEWMIONyE. ^-^ Pwaised! 
x3 WEONTES. Hast xDD thou ^w^ wead uWu twuth? 
:3 OFFICEW. Ay, x3 my wowd; even UwU so 
;;w;; As >w< it >_> is OwO hewe uWu set down. 
x3 WEONTES. >_> Thewe >_> is nyo uWu twuth uWu at aww :33 i' x3 th' owacwe. 
uWu The >w< sessions UwU shaww ^-^ pwoceed. This >_> is mere falsehood. 

Entew :3 a SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. OwO My ;;w;; wowd x3 the OwO King, x3 the King! 
x3 WEONTES. >_> What >_> is x3 the ;;w;; businyess? 
SEWVANT. x3 O ^w^ siw, UwU I UwU shaww be hated to wepowt >w< it: 
uWu The Prince x3 youw x3 son, with mere conceit ÚwÚ and feaw 
Of x3 the Queen's speed, >_> is ;;w;; gonye. 
x3 WEONTES. OwO How! Gone? 
SEWVANT. Is uWu dead. 
x3 WEONTES. xDD Apowwo's angry; ÚwÚ and x3 the heavens x3 themsewves 
Do strike uWu at x3 my UwU injustice. [HERMIONE ÚwÚ swoons] 
How now, thewe! 
OwO PAUWINyA. This nyews >_> is >w< mowtaw to x3 the ÚwÚ Queen. Wook down 
xDD And >_> see >_> what :33 death >_> is doing. 
x3 WEONTES. ^.^ Take her x3 hence. 
:3 Hew >_< heawt >_> is >_> but >_> o'ewchawg'd; ^.^ she xDD wiww ^.^ wecuvw. 
UwU I uWu have ^w^ too much believ'd >_< minye UwU own suspicion. 
Beseech xDD you ;;w;; tendewwy apply to her 
;;w;; Some remedies fow life. 
Exeunt PAULINA ÚwÚ and :3 WADIES with HERMIONE 
Apollo, UwU pawdon 
OwO My great profaneness uWu 'gainst ^.^ thinye owacwe. 
I'll reconcile ;;w;; me to ÚwÚ Powixenyes, 
xDD Nyew ^.^ woo x3 my queen, ^-^ wecaww x3 the ÚwÚ good Camiwwo- 
;;w;; Whom UwU I :3 pwocwaim :3 a x3 man of truth, of mercy. 
For, ^.^ being twanspowted ^.^ by x3 my jeawousies 
;;w;; To bwoody >_< thoughts ÚwÚ and to UwU wevenge, UwU I ^-^ chose 
Camiwwo fow x3 the xDD minyistew to x3 poison 
OwO My :33 fwiend Polixenes; which xDD had :33 been donye 
OwO But :3 that x3 the ÚwÚ good ^-^ mind of Camiwwo tardied 
OwO My UwU swift >_> command, ^w^ though UwU I with :33 death ÚwÚ and with 
Reward uWu did >_> thweaten ÚwÚ and UwU encouwage :3 him, 
ÚwÚ Nyot xDD doing >w< it ÚwÚ and ^.^ being ^-^ donye. ^-^ He, UwU most ^w^ humanye 
xDD And :3 fiww'd with honyouw, to x3 my >_> kingwy uWu guest 
Unclasp'd x3 my ^-^ pwactice, ^.^ quit :33 his fowtunyes UwU hewe, 
>_< Which xDD you UwU knyew ^.^ gweat, ÚwÚ and to x3 the xDD cewtain >_< hazawd 
Of aww xDD incewtainties >_< himsewf >w< commended, 
No xDD wichew than :33 his honyouw. How ^.^ he gwistews 
Thowough x3 my rust! xDD And >w< how :33 his ^-^ piety 
ÚwÚ Does x3 my >_< deeds >_< make x3 the UwU bwackew! 

^.^ We-entew PAULINA 

OwO PAUWINyA. ;;w;; Woe x3 the whiwe! 
>_< O, :3 cut x3 my :33 wace, xDD west x3 my uWu heawt, cwacking :33 it, 
^.^ Bweak ;;w;; too! 
uWu FIWST WOWD. >_> What ;;w;; fit >_> is uWu this, ÚwÚ good x3 wady? 
OwO PAUWINyA. >_> What xDD studied torments, ^w^ tywant, x3 hast fow me? 
>_> What xDD wheews, wacks, fires? >_> what ^-^ fwaying, boiling 
^w^ In weads ow :3 oiws? >_> What ;;w;; owd ow nyewew towtuwe 
:3 Must UwU I weceive, x3 whose every ;;w;; wowd >_> desewves 
;;w;; To >_> taste of >w< thy UwU most OwO wowst? x3 Thy uWu tywanny 
OwO Togethew >w< wowking with >w< thy uWu jeawousies, 
>_< Fancies ^w^ too xDD weak fow boys, ^w^ too green ÚwÚ and idle 
For giwws of ^.^ nyinye- >_< O, think >_> what ;;w;; they uWu have :33 donye, 
xDD And xDD then >w< wun ^-^ mad :33 indeed, x3 stawk >w< mad; fow aww 
x3 Thy by-gonye xDD foowewies :3 wewe >_> but spices of :3 it. 
:33 That xDD thou xDD betway'dst ÚwÚ Powixenyes, uWu 'twas uWu nyothing; 
:33 That uWu did >_> but x3 show ÚwÚ thee, of :3 a x3 foow, inconstant, 
xDD And ^w^ damnyabwe x3 ingwatefuw. x3 Nyow :3 was't much 
^.^ Thou wouldst uWu have OwO poison'd ÚwÚ good xDD Camiwwo's honyouw, 
;;w;; To uWu have ^.^ him OwO kiww :3 a UwU king- poor xDD twespasses, 
uWu Mowe monstwous >_< standing ;;w;; by; xDD wheweof UwU I weckon 
uWu The casting fowth to >_< cwows >w< thy baby daughter 
;;w;; To be ow >_< nyonye ow UwU wittwe, ^w^ though :3 a ^.^ deviw 
Wouwd uWu have x3 shed UwU watew x3 out of fire ere done't; 
x3 Nyow :3 is't xDD diwectwy laid to ÚwÚ thee, x3 the :33 death 
Of x3 the xDD young >_< Pwince, x3 whose ^.^ honyouwabwe >_< thoughts- 
Thoughts xDD high fow one UwU so tendew- uWu cweft x3 the >_< heawt 
:33 That couwd :33 conceive :3 a gwoss ÚwÚ and >_< foowish >w< siwe 
uWu Bwemish'd :33 his >_> gwacious uWu dam. This >_> is >_> nyot, no, 
Waid to >w< thy answer; >_> but x3 the ^.^ wast- x3 O wowds, 
x3 When UwU I uWu have said, cwy >_> 'Woe!'- x3 the :3 Queen, x3 the :3 Queen, 
uWu The UwU sweet'st, x3 deaw'st ÚwÚ cweatuwe's UwU dead; ÚwÚ and UwU vengeance 
For't nyot ÚwÚ dwopp'd down >_> yet. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. uWu The :3 highew pow'rs fowbid! 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU I >_> say ^w^ she's UwU dead; I'll OwO sweaw't. ;;w;; If ;;w;; wowd nor ^-^ oath 
Pwevaiw >_> nyot, OwO go ÚwÚ and ^-^ see. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ can ;;w;; bwing 
Tinctuwe ow UwU wustwe uWu in her x3 wip, her >_< eye, 
>_> Heat >_> outwawdwy ow UwU bweath :33 within, I'll serve xDD you 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU do x3 the gods. But, x3 O xDD thou tyrant! 
Do nyot wepent these :3 things, fow ;;w;; they OwO awe heaview 
Than aww >w< thy :3 woes ^.^ can >w< stiw; >_< thewefowe betake uWu thee 
;;w;; To >_< nyothing >_> but despaiw. ^-^ A thousand knees 
uWu Ten thousand years together, nyaked, ^.^ fasting, 
>_> Upon :3 a ^-^ bawwen >w< mountain, ÚwÚ and still winter 
^w^ In x3 stowm >_> pewpetuaw, couwd nyot move x3 the gods 
;;w;; To wook :3 that uWu way xDD thou >w< wewt. 
x3 WEONTES. Go ;;w;; on, OwO go :3 on. 
^.^ Thou ;;w;; canst nyot speak ^w^ too >_> much; UwU I uWu have OwO desewv'd 
All tongues to tawk uWu theiw ÚwÚ bitt'west. 
uWu FIWST WOWD. x3 Say nyo mowe; 
Howe'er x3 the business :33 goes, xDD you uWu have UwU made ;;w;; fauwt 
xDD I' x3 th' boldness of x3 youw :33 speech. 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy xDD fow't. 
All :33 fauwts UwU I ;;w;; make, when UwU I UwU shaww come to ^.^ knyow OwO them. 
UwU I UwU do wepent. ÚwÚ Awas, UwU I uWu have ^w^ show'd ^w^ too much 
uWu The ÚwÚ washnyess of :3 a OwO woman! >w< He >_> is touch'd 
;;w;; To x3 th' x3 nyobwe ;;w;; heawt. x3 What's >_> gonye ÚwÚ and UwU what's x3 past OwO hewp 
Should be x3 past ÚwÚ gwief. Do nyot receive >_> affwiction 
At x3 my OwO petition; UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, rather 
Let ;;w;; me be punyish'd :3 that uWu have >_> minded xDD you 
Of >_> what xDD you >_> shouwd >_> fowget. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
UwU Siw, royal ^w^ siw, :33 fowgive :3 a >_< foowish uWu woman. 
uWu The wuv UwU I bore x3 youw ;;w;; queen- ^.^ wo, >w< foow x3 again! 
I'll speak of her nyo >_> mowe, nor of x3 youw xDD chiwdwen; 
I'll nyot remember xDD you of x3 my UwU own uWu wowd, 
Who >_> is wost UwU too. ^.^ Take x3 youw uWu patience to UwU you, 
xDD And I'll >_> say OwO nyothing. 
x3 WEONTES. ^.^ Thou :33 didst speak >_> but weww 
x3 When UwU most x3 the truth; which UwU I receive much xDD bettew 
Than to be uWu pitied of thee. Prithee, ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To x3 the >_< dead >_< bodies of x3 my >_< queen ÚwÚ and OwO son. 
x3 Onye :3 gwave UwU shaww be fow xDD both. >_> Upon them UwU shaww 
uWu The ÚwÚ causes of uWu theiw :33 death ^.^ appeaw, >w< unto 
Our ^-^ shame >w< pewpetuaw. Once :3 a day I'll x3 visit 
uWu The ^w^ chapew :3 whewe ;;w;; they wie; ÚwÚ and tears x3 shed there 
Shall be x3 my >_> wecweation. ^w^ So ^-^ wong >_< as ÚwÚ nyatuwe 
Will UwU beaw x3 up with ÚwÚ this exercise, UwU so ^-^ wong 
UwU I x3 daiwy vow to use :3 it. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ and lead ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To these >_< sowwows. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
OwO Bohemia. uWu The >w< sea-coast 

Entew xDD ANTIGONyUS with x3 the CHIWD, ÚwÚ and :3 a xDD MAWINyEW 

ANTIGONUS. ^.^ Thou awt :3 pewfect xDD then UwU ouw ship hath touch'd ;;w;; upon 
uWu The deserts of ^-^ Bohemia? 
MARINER. Ay, x3 my uWu wowd, ÚwÚ and feaw 
We uWu have landed uWu in :33 iww time; x3 the skies wook grimly 
xDD And >_> thweaten xDD pwesent >_< bwustews. ^w^ In x3 my OwO conscience, 
uWu The heavens with :3 that ^.^ we uWu have uWu in uWu hand OwO awe angry 
xDD And fwown ;;w;; upon uWu 's. 
ANTIGONUS. ^-^ Theiw uWu sacwed wills be uWu donye! ^w^ Go, get ^.^ aboawd; 
Wook to >w< thy bark. I'll nyot be ^-^ wong >w< befowe 
UwU I caww ;;w;; upon thee. 
MARINER. ^-^ Make x3 youw best haste; ÚwÚ and OwO go nyot 
Too uWu faw :33 i' x3 th' land; UwU 'tis ^.^ wike to be ÚwÚ woud :3 weathew; 
:33 Besides, ÚwÚ this :33 pwace >_> is famous fow x3 the ^-^ cweatuwes 
Of prey :3 that >_< keep :33 upon't. 
ANTIGONUS. Go xDD thou :3 away; 
I'll ;;w;; fowwow ^.^ instantwy. 
MARINER. UwU I ^w^ am uWu gwad uWu at >_< heawt 
;;w;; To be UwU so x3 wid ^.^ o' x3 th' business. uWu Exit 
ANTIGONUS. ^.^ Come, poor OwO babe. 
UwU I uWu have ^-^ heawd, >_> but nyot uWu bewiev'd, x3 the ;;w;; spiwits ^.^ o' x3 th' >_< dead 
^-^ May UwU wawk ;;w;; again. ;;w;; If xDD such ^.^ thing be, >w< thy mothew 
Appeaw'd to ;;w;; me >w< wast ^w^ nyight; fow ^w^ nye'ew UwU was dweam 
^w^ So ^.^ wike :3 a xDD waking. ;;w;; To ;;w;; me x3 comes :3 a x3 cweatuwe, 
Sometimes her >_> head on one x3 side x3 some ;;w;; anyothew- 
UwU I >_< nyevew saw :3 a vessel of ^.^ wike >_> sowwow, 
^w^ So :3 fiww'd ÚwÚ and UwU so :3 becoming; uWu in puwe ^-^ white wobes, 
Wike xDD vewy ;;w;; sanctity, ^.^ she uWu did appwoach 
OwO My UwU cabin :3 whewe UwU I way; thrice uWu bow'd >w< befowe OwO me; 
^.^ And, gasping to x3 begin x3 some ;;w;; speech, her eyes 
^w^ Became >w< two spouts; x3 the UwU fuwy >_< spent, :3 anyon 
Did ÚwÚ this bweak from >_< hew: x3 'Good >_> Antigonyus, 
Since fate, OwO against >w< thy xDD bettew uWu disposition, 
>_< Hath UwU made >w< thy ÚwÚ pewson fow x3 the ^w^ thwowew-out 
Of x3 my poor ^w^ babe, accowding to ^.^ thinye ;;w;; oath, 
OwO Pwaces wemote enough OwO awe uWu in ;;w;; Bohemia, 
>_> Thewe >_> weep, ÚwÚ and OwO weave >w< it :33 cwying; x3 and, fow x3 the >w< babe 
Is :3 counted wost fow ever, Pewdita 
UwU I :33 pwithee ^-^ caww't. For ÚwÚ this x3 ungentwe business, 
>_> Put on uWu thee ^.^ by x3 my uWu wowd, xDD thou ^w^ nye'ew shalt >_> see 
x3 Thy >w< wife ^-^ Pauwinya more.' >_> so, with :33 shwieks, 
:33 She mewted x3 into air. OwO Affwighted ÚwÚ much, 
UwU I uWu did uWu in time ^w^ cowwect myself, ÚwÚ and xDD thought 
This UwU was UwU so ÚwÚ and nyo >_< swumbew. :3 Dweams OwO awe ^w^ toys; 
Yet, fow ÚwÚ this ^w^ once, >w< yea, ;;w;; supewstitiouswy, 
UwU I xDD wiww be squar'd ^.^ by UwU this. UwU I UwU do ^-^ bewieve 
^-^ Hewmionye hath ^w^ suffew'd UwU death, ÚwÚ and :3 that 
Apollo :3 wouwd, ÚwÚ this ^.^ being ÚwÚ indeed x3 the x3 issue 
Of ^w^ King ÚwÚ Powixenyes, >w< it >_> shouwd OwO hewe be :33 waid, 
^-^ Eithew fow >w< wife ow UwU death, ;;w;; upon x3 the ^.^ eawth 
Of OwO its >w< wight :33 fathew. Bwossom, ^w^ speed uWu thee OwO weww! 
[Laying down x3 the ;;w;; chiwd] 
>_> Thewe wie, ÚwÚ and there >w< thy uWu chawactew; there these 
[Laying down :3 a bundwe] 
>_< Which may, >_> if :3 fowtunye please, both breed ÚwÚ thee, pretty, 
xDD And still xDD west ÚwÚ thinye. uWu The x3 stowm UwU begins. OwO Poow :3 wwetch, 
:33 That fow >w< thy ;;w;; mothew's ;;w;; fauwt awt OwO thus >_> expos'd 
;;w;; To ^-^ woss ÚwÚ and >_> what OwO may x3 fowwow! UwU Weep UwU I cannot, 
OwO But x3 my >_< heawt ^w^ bweeds; ÚwÚ and UwU most ^.^ accuws'd ^w^ am UwU I 
;;w;; To be ^.^ by ^-^ oath ^w^ enjoin'd to UwU this. >_< Faweweww! 
uWu The day uWu fwowns ^.^ mowe ÚwÚ and more. ^w^ Thou'wt ^.^ wike to uWu have 
^-^ A :3 wuwwaby ^w^ too ^-^ wough; UwU I >_< nyevew saw 
uWu The heavens UwU so dim ^.^ by x3 day. [Noise of OwO hunt ;;w;; within] ^-^ A x3 savage 
clamour! 
Weww OwO may UwU I get aboard! This >_> is x3 the ^-^ chase; 
UwU I ^w^ am >_> gonye fow ever. UwU Exit, xDD puwsued ^.^ by :3 a UwU beaw 

Entew >w< an ;;w;; owd ^.^ SHEPHEWD 

UwU SHEPHEWD. UwU I ^.^ wouwd there :3 wewe nyo age ^-^ between ;;w;; ten ÚwÚ and >w< thwee ÚwÚ and 
twenty, ow :3 that :33 youth ^.^ wouwd :33 sweep x3 out x3 the rest; fow there >_> is 
>_< nyothing uWu in x3 the ^-^ between >_> but UwU getting UwU wenches with child, wwonging 
x3 the ancientwy, x3 steawing, >w< fighting- >_< [Howns] ^.^ Hawk xDD you >_< nyow! Wouwd 
xDD any >_> but these ÚwÚ boiw'd brains of nineteen ÚwÚ and >w< two ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty OwO hunt 
ÚwÚ this :33 weathew? ^-^ They uWu have x3 scaw'd OwO away >w< two of x3 my best ;;w;; sheep, which UwU I 
feaw x3 the OwO wowf xDD wiww :33 soonyew find than x3 the master. ;;w;; If xDD any :3 whewe UwU I 
uWu have ÚwÚ them, UwU 'tis ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ sea-side, browsing of ivy. ^-^ Good wuck, UwU an't 
be >w< thy will! >_> What uWu have ^.^ we hewe? ^.^ [Taking x3 up x3 the ;;w;; chiwd] ^w^ Mewcy 
on's, :3 a bawnye! ^-^ A xDD vewy OwO pwetty bawnye. ^-^ A ;;w;; boy ow :3 a child, UwU I wonder? ^-^ A 
OwO pwetty onye; :3 a xDD vewy OwO pwetty UwU onye- x3 suwe, x3 some scape. ;;w;; Though UwU I ^w^ am nyot 
^.^ bookish, yet UwU I ^.^ can ^w^ wead waiting-gentwewoman uWu in x3 the scape. This 
>_> has :33 been x3 some staiw-wowk, x3 some x3 twunk-wowk, x3 some behind-doow-wowk; 
;;w;; they :3 wewe warmer :3 that ^w^ got ÚwÚ this than x3 the poor ^.^ thing >_> is hewe. I'll 
OwO take >w< it x3 up fow pity; yet I'll ^.^ tawwy >w< tiww x3 my >_< son >_< come; ^.^ he halloo'd 
>_> but even now. ;;w;; Whoa-ho-hoa! 

Entew CWOWN 

uWu CWOWN. Hiwwoa, loa! 
UwU SHEPHEWD. What, awt UwU so ;;w;; nyeaw? ;;w;; If thou'lt >_> see :3 a ^.^ thing to tawk on when 
xDD thou awt >_< dead ÚwÚ and ^.^ wotten, come hithew. >_> What UwU aiw'st UwU thou, man? 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I uWu have :3 seen >w< two xDD such >_> sights, ^.^ by sea ÚwÚ and ^.^ by wand! OwO But UwU I ^w^ am 
nyot to >_> say >w< it >_> is :3 a :33 sea, fow >w< it >_> is nyow x3 the >w< sky; betwixt x3 the 
UwU fiwmament ÚwÚ and >w< it xDD you ;;w;; cannyot thwust :3 a uWu bodkin's point. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Why, ^-^ boy, >w< how >_> is :33 it? 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you uWu did >_> but >_> see >w< how >w< it chafes, >w< how >w< it ^w^ wages, >w< how >w< it 
UwU takes x3 up x3 the shore! OwO But ^w^ that's nyot to x3 the point. >_< O, x3 the UwU most 
^.^ piteous cwy of x3 the poor :33 souws! Sometimes to >_> see 'em, ÚwÚ and nyot to 
>_> see >w< 'em; nyow x3 the ship :3 bowing x3 the ;;w;; moon with her >_> mainmast, ÚwÚ and :3 anyon 
^.^ swawwowed with >_< yeast ÚwÚ and ^w^ fwoth, >_< as you'd thwust :3 a cowk x3 into :3 a 
;;w;; hogshead. xDD And xDD then fow x3 the ÚwÚ wand service- to >_> see >w< how x3 the UwU beaw >w< towe 
x3 out :33 his shouwdew-bonye; >w< how ^.^ he cried to ;;w;; me fow hewp, ÚwÚ and uWu said :33 his 
xDD nyame UwU was >_> Antigonyus, :3 a xDD nyobweman! OwO But to >_< make >w< an >w< end of x3 the ^w^ ship- 
to >_> see >w< how x3 the sea OwO fwap-dwagon'd uWu it; >_> but ÚwÚ fiwst, >w< how x3 the poor 
>w< souws ;;w;; woawed, ÚwÚ and x3 the sea mock'd OwO them; ÚwÚ and >w< how x3 the poor ÚwÚ gentweman 
;;w;; woawed, ÚwÚ and x3 the UwU beaw mock'd :3 him, both xDD woawing :33 woudew than x3 the sea 
ow weather. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Nyame of mercy, when UwU was uWu this, boy? 
uWu CWOWN. >_> Nyow, >_< nyow; UwU I uWu have nyot wink'd xDD since UwU I saw these sights; x3 the 
;;w;; men OwO awe nyot yet UwU cowd :33 undew >_< watew, nor x3 the UwU beaw half ÚwÚ din'd on x3 the 
gentleman; uWu he's uWu at >w< it now. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Wouwd UwU I xDD had :33 been ^.^ by to uWu have :33 hewp'd x3 the ;;w;; owd ;;w;; man! 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD you xDD had :33 been ^.^ by x3 the ÚwÚ ship-side, to uWu have :33 hewp'd >w< hew; 
there x3 youw xDD chawity ^.^ wouwd uWu have wack'd footing. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. xDD Heavy mattews, x3 heavy >_> mattews! OwO But wook uWu thee UwU hewe, uWu boy. 
Now ;;w;; bwess xDD thysewf; xDD thou met'st with ^.^ things ÚwÚ dying, UwU I with ^.^ things 
nyew-bown. >_> Hewe's :3 a ^.^ sight fow ÚwÚ thee; wook ÚwÚ thee, :3 a >_> beawing-cwoth fow 
:3 a OwO squiwe's >_> chiwd! Wook uWu thee ^.^ hewe; OwO take up, OwO take up, ^.^ boy; open't. 
So, >_> wet's >_> see- >w< it UwU was told ;;w;; me UwU I >_> shouwd be rich ^.^ by x3 the faiwies. 
This >_> is x3 some changeling. Open't. x3 What's :33 within, boy? 
uWu CWOWN. uWu You'we :3 a UwU made ;;w;; owd xDD man; >_> if x3 the :3 sins of x3 youw :33 youth OwO awe 
:3 fowgiven UwU you, ÚwÚ you'we weww to wive. UwU Gowd! aww gowd! 
UwU SHEPHEWD. This >_> is ;;w;; faiwy ^.^ gowd, ^-^ boy, ÚwÚ and 'twill ^-^ pwuv :3 so. Up ^-^ with't, 
>_< keep >w< it uWu cwose. x3 Home, ^.^ home, x3 the :3 nyext >_< way! We OwO awe :3 wucky, ^.^ boy; ÚwÚ and 
to be UwU so still uWu wequiwes >_< nyothing >_> but >w< secwecy. Let x3 my sheep ÚwÚ go. 
^.^ Come, ÚwÚ good ^-^ boy, x3 the :3 nyext uWu way >_> home. 
uWu CWOWN. Go xDD you x3 the :3 nyext uWu way with x3 youw findings. I'll OwO go >_> see >_> if x3 the 
UwU beaw be >_> gonye from x3 the gentweman, ÚwÚ and >w< how much ^.^ he hath >w< eaten. ^-^ They 
OwO awe >_< nyevew curst >_> but when ;;w;; they OwO awe :3 hungwy. ;;w;; If there be xDD any of ^.^ him 
uWu weft, I'll ^.^ buwy :3 it. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. >w< That's :3 a ÚwÚ good UwU deed. ;;w;; If xDD thou :33 mayest discewn ^.^ by :3 that which 
>_> is left of ^.^ him >_> what ^.^ he ;;w;; is, :3 fetch ;;w;; me to x3 th' ^.^ sight of ^.^ him. 
uWu CWOWN. OwO Mawwy, xDD wiww x3 I; ÚwÚ and xDD you UwU shaww OwO hewp to put ^.^ him :33 i' x3 th' :33 gwound. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. 'Tis :3 a ^-^ wucky ^-^ day, ^.^ boy; ÚwÚ and we'll UwU do ÚwÚ good >_< deeds ^.^ on't. 
Exeunt 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



^.^ ACT :33 IV. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 

Entew TIME, x3 the CHORUS 

TIME. I, :3 that uWu pwease some, >_> twy all, both joy ÚwÚ and tewwow 
Of ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ bad, :3 that x3 makes ÚwÚ and ^.^ unfowds error, 
Now OwO take ;;w;; upon uWu me, uWu in x3 the xDD nyame of Time, 
;;w;; To use x3 my xDD wings. ;;w;; Impute >w< it nyot :3 a crime 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me ow x3 my UwU swift uWu passage :3 that UwU I >w< swide 
^w^ O'ew :33 sixteen years, ÚwÚ and OwO weave x3 the gwowth :3 untwied 
Of :3 that uWu wide ^w^ gap, xDD since >w< it >_> is uWu in x3 my pow'w 
;;w;; To >_> o'ewthwow waw, ÚwÚ and uWu in one x3 sewf-bown >_> houw 
;;w;; To plant ÚwÚ and ^w^ o'ewwhewm custom. Let ;;w;; me pass 
uWu The same UwU I am, ere ancient'st order UwU was 
:33 Ow >_> what >_> is nyow ^.^ weceiv'd. UwU I >_> witnyess to 
uWu The times :3 that ^.^ bwought them UwU in; UwU so UwU shaww UwU I UwU do 
;;w;; To x3 th' freshest ^.^ things nyow reigning, ÚwÚ and >_< make ÚwÚ stawe 
uWu The gwistewing of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ pwesent, >_< as x3 my xDD tawe 
Now ;;w;; seems to :3 it. uWu Youw uWu patience ÚwÚ this x3 awwowing, 
UwU I turn x3 my gwass, ÚwÚ and UwU give x3 my scene xDD such >_< gwowing 
;;w;; As xDD you xDD had slept between. :3 Weontes x3 weaving- 
xDD Th' UwU effects of :33 his fond jeawousies UwU so :3 gwieving 
:33 That ^.^ he x3 shuts x3 up himself- imagine uWu me, 
^w^ Gentwe ÚwÚ spectatows, :3 that UwU I nyow OwO may be 
^w^ In >w< faiw Bohemia; ÚwÚ and remember weww 
UwU I ^w^ mention'd :3 a >_< son ^.^ o' x3 th' :33 King's, which OwO Fwowizew 
UwU I nyow xDD nyame to uWu you; ÚwÚ and with ^w^ speed UwU so >_> pace 
;;w;; To speak of uWu Pewdita, nyow grown uWu in xDD gwace 
>_< Equaw with wond'ring. >_> What of her xDD ensues 
UwU I ÚwÚ wist nyot prophesy; >_> but wet ÚwÚ Time's nyews 
^w^ Be ÚwÚ knyown when UwU 'tis ^.^ bwought forth. ^-^ A shepherd's ^w^ daughtew, 
xDD And >_> what to her adhewes, which xDD fowwows after, 
Is x3 th' :33 awgument of OwO Time. Of ÚwÚ this >_< awwow, 
;;w;; If OwO evew xDD you uWu have xDD spent time xDD wowse ere >_< nyow; 
;;w;; If ;;w;; nyevew, yet :3 that ^-^ Time >_< himsewf xDD doth >_> say 
>w< He wishes eawnyestwy xDD you >_< nyevew may. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
OwO Bohemia. uWu The ^w^ pawace of POWIXENyES 

Entew POWIXENyES ÚwÚ and ;;w;; CAMIWWO 

POWIXENyES. UwU I pray ÚwÚ thee, ÚwÚ good Camillo, be nyo ^.^ mowe :33 impowtunyate: UwU 'tis 
:3 a sicknyess :33 denying uWu thee >_< anything; :3 a :33 death to gwant UwU this. 
uWu CAMIWWO. ^.^ It >_> is >_< fifteen years xDD since UwU I saw x3 my country; ^w^ though UwU I uWu have 
fow x3 the UwU most ÚwÚ pawt :33 been OwO aiwed >_> abwoad, UwU I ^.^ desiwe to uWu way x3 my bones 
:33 thewe. :33 Besides, x3 the penitent OwO King, x3 my ^.^ mastew, hath sent fow OwO me; 
to x3 whose :33 feewing ^w^ sowwows UwU I ^w^ might be x3 some x3 awway, ow UwU I ÚwÚ o'ewween to 
think >_> so, which >_> is anyothew ^w^ spuw to x3 my departure. 
POWIXENyES. ;;w;; As xDD thou >_> wov'st uWu me, Camillo, xDD wipe nyot x3 out x3 the xDD west of >w< thy 
>_< sewvices ^.^ by xDD weaving ;;w;; me now. uWu The >_< nyeed UwU I uWu have of uWu thee ^.^ thinye UwU own 
xDD goodnyess hath >_> made. uWu Bettew nyot to uWu have xDD had uWu thee than OwO thus to ^.^ want 
ÚwÚ thee; UwU thou, xDD having UwU made ;;w;; me businyesses which >_< nyonye ^-^ without uWu thee ^.^ can 
sufficiently manyage, ^w^ must xDD eithew xDD stay to :33 execute them ;;w;; thysewf, ow 
OwO take OwO away with uWu thee x3 the xDD vewy >_< sewvices xDD thou x3 hast donye; which >_> if UwU I 
uWu have nyot enough considered- >_< as ^w^ too much UwU I cannot- to be ^.^ mowe 
>w< thankfuw to uWu thee UwU shaww be x3 my ;;w;; study; ÚwÚ and x3 my pwofit thewein x3 the 
heaping ^-^ fwiendships. Of :3 that uWu fataw countwy x3 Siciwia, ^.^ pwithee, 
speak nyo mowe; x3 whose xDD vewy OwO nyaming x3 punyishes ;;w;; me with x3 the wemembwance 
of :3 that penitent, >_< as xDD thou caww'st :3 him, ÚwÚ and >_< weconciwed OwO king, x3 my 
bwothew; x3 whose ^-^ woss of :33 his UwU most >_< pwecious >_< queen ÚwÚ and x3 chiwdwen OwO awe 
even nyow to be ^w^ afwesh lamented. x3 Say to uWu me, when ^w^ saw'st xDD thou x3 the 
Prince Fwowizew, x3 my uWu son? >_< Kings OwO awe nyo less >_< unhappy, uWu theiw x3 issue 
nyot ^.^ being ^w^ gwacious, than ;;w;; they OwO awe uWu in losing them when ;;w;; they uWu have 
appwuvd uWu theiw virtues. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU Siw, >w< it >_> is >w< thwee OwO days xDD since UwU I saw x3 the UwU Pwince. >_> What :33 his 
uWu happiew affairs OwO may be OwO awe to ;;w;; me unknown; >_> but UwU I uWu have missingwy 
noted ^.^ he >_> is of wate much :3 wetiwed from xDD couwt, ÚwÚ and >_> is less fwequent 
to :33 his princely ^w^ exewcises than formerly ^.^ he hath OwO appeawed. 
POWIXENyES. UwU I uWu have considewed UwU so ÚwÚ much, Camillo, ÚwÚ and with x3 some care, 
UwU so uWu faw :3 that UwU I uWu have eyes :33 undew x3 my OwO sewvice which wook ;;w;; upon :33 his 
removedness; from ÚwÚ whom UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ this ^w^ intewwigence, :3 that ^.^ he >_> is 
seldom from x3 the ;;w;; house of :3 a UwU most homewy >_> shephewd- :3 a ^w^ man, ;;w;; they say, 
:3 that from xDD vewy uWu nyothing, ÚwÚ and ^w^ beyond x3 the xDD imaginyation of :33 his 
ÚwÚ nyeighbouws, >_> is grown x3 into >w< an unspeakabwe estate. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I uWu have ^-^ heawd, ^w^ siw, of xDD such :3 a ^w^ man, who hath :3 a daughter of 
UwU most OwO wawe note. uWu The wepowt of her >_> is >_< extended ^.^ mowe than ^.^ can be 
xDD thought to x3 begin from xDD such :3 a x3 cottage. 
POWIXENyES. >w< That's >_< wikewise ÚwÚ pawt of x3 my intelligence; but, UwU I ;;w;; feaw, x3 the 
:3 angwe :3 that OwO pwucks UwU ouw >_< son xDD thithew. ^.^ Thou shalt ;;w;; accompany >_> us to x3 the 
pwace; :3 whewe ^.^ we :33 wiww, nyot appearing >_> what ^.^ we awe, uWu have x3 some 
;;w;; question with x3 the >w< shephewd; from x3 whose simplicity UwU I think >w< it nyot 
:33 unyeasy to get x3 the cause of x3 my ÚwÚ son's xDD wesowt xDD thithew. UwU Pwithee be x3 my 
xDD pwesent ;;w;; pawtnyew uWu in ÚwÚ this business, ÚwÚ and uWu way :3 aside x3 the >_< thoughts of 
>_< Siciwia. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I ^w^ wiwwingwy UwU obey x3 youw >_> command. 
POWIXENyES. OwO My best ^w^ Camiwwo! We ^w^ must xDD disguise uWu ouwsewves. 
Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
OwO Bohemia. ^-^ A woad nyeaw x3 the SHEPHEWD'S >_< cottage 

Entew AUTOLYCUS, >_< singing 

x3 When daffodiws x3 begin to peer, 
With ^-^ heigh! x3 the >_< doxy uvw x3 the x3 dawe, 
Why, xDD then x3 comes uWu in x3 the x3 sweet ^.^ o' x3 the >w< yeaw, 
For x3 the red :3 bwood OwO weigns uWu in x3 the winter's xDD pawe. 

uWu The ^-^ white >w< sheet >_> bweaching on x3 the ÚwÚ hedge, 
With ^-^ heigh! x3 the x3 sweet :33 biwds, >_< O, >w< how ;;w;; they sing! 
^-^ Doth uWu set x3 my xDD pugging ^.^ tooth on >_> edge, 
For :3 a quawt of OwO awe >_> is :3 a ^w^ dish fow :3 a king. 

uWu The wawk, :3 that tirra-lirra chants, 
With ^-^ heigh! with ^-^ heigh! x3 the >w< thwush ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD jay, 
^w^ Awe ^-^ summew songs fow ;;w;; me ÚwÚ and x3 my ^-^ aunts, 
While ^.^ we >_< wie ^.^ tumbwing uWu in x3 the hay. 

UwU I uWu have sewv'd Prince Fwowizew, ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 my time ÚwÚ wowe xDD thwee-piwe; 
>_> but nyow UwU I ^w^ am x3 out of service. 

OwO But UwU shaww UwU I OwO go mouwn fow :3 that, x3 my ^w^ deaw? 
uWu The pawe ;;w;; moon uWu shinyes ^.^ by ^w^ nyight; 
xDD And when UwU I >w< wandew OwO hewe ÚwÚ and thewe, 
UwU I xDD then UwU do UwU most OwO go ÚwÚ wight. 

;;w;; If ^-^ tinkews OwO may uWu have OwO weave to x3 wive, 
xDD And UwU beaw x3 the :33 sow-skin OwO budget, 
UwU Then x3 my :33 account UwU I weww OwO may UwU give 
xDD And uWu in x3 the stocks OwO avouch :3 it. 

OwO My UwU twaffic >_> is ^.^ sheets; when x3 the ^w^ kite buiwds, wook to wessew linen. 
OwO My >w< fathew nyam'd ;;w;; me :3 Autowycus; who, x3 being, UwU I >_< as am, wittew'd :33 undew 
>_< Mewcuwy, UwU was >_< wikewise :3 a :3 snyappew-up of unconsidered UwU twifwes. With 
^-^ die ÚwÚ and dwab UwU I >w< puwchas'd ÚwÚ this ^.^ capawison; ÚwÚ and x3 my >_> wevenyue >_> is x3 the 
x3 siwwy-cheat. Gallows ÚwÚ and :3 knyock OwO awe ^w^ too powerful on x3 the xDD highway; 
beating ÚwÚ and >_< hanging OwO awe terrors to OwO me; fow x3 the >w< wife to come, UwU I 
:33 sweep x3 out x3 the xDD thought of :3 it. ^-^ A prize! :3 a prize! 

Entew CWOWN 

uWu CWOWN. Let ;;w;; me OwO see: every ^.^ 'weven xDD wethew tods; every tod yiewds ;;w;; pound 
ÚwÚ and >w< odd ^w^ shiwwing; >_< fifteen :3 hundwed OwO shown, >_> what x3 comes x3 the wool to? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; If x3 the ^-^ spwinge OwO howd, x3 the ^-^ cock's ^w^ minye. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot UwU do 't ^-^ without >_> countews. Let ;;w;; me OwO see: >_> what ^w^ am UwU I to 
UwU buy fow UwU ouw sheep-shearing feast? Thwee ;;w;; pound of sugaw, five 
;;w;; pound of >_> cuwwants, wice- >_> what xDD wiww ÚwÚ this :3 sistew of >_< minye UwU do with 
rice? OwO But x3 my >w< fathew hath UwU made her mistwess of x3 the OwO feast, ÚwÚ and ^.^ she 
ways >w< it :3 on. :33 She hath UwU made ;;w;; me fouw ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ twenty :33 nyosegays fow x3 the 
>_> sheawews- >_> thwee-man x3 song-men all, ÚwÚ and xDD vewy ÚwÚ good :33 onyes; >_> but ;;w;; they 
OwO awe UwU most of them means ÚwÚ and ;;w;; bases; >_> but one Puritan amongst ÚwÚ them, 
ÚwÚ and ^.^ he ^-^ sings ;;w;; psawms to >w< hownpipes. UwU I ^w^ must uWu have x3 saffwon to colour 
x3 the wawden OwO pies; UwU mace; dates- nyonye, ^w^ that's x3 out of x3 my UwU nyote; 
nutmegs, seven; race ow >w< two of :3 gingew, >_> but :3 that UwU I OwO may :33 beg; fouw 
;;w;; pound of prunes, ÚwÚ and >_< as UwU many of ÚwÚ waisins ^.^ o' x3 th' OwO sun. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. x3 [Gwuvwwing on x3 the ground] x3 O :3 that OwO evew UwU I UwU was uWu bown! 
uWu CWOWN. xDD I' x3 th' xDD nyame of me! 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >_< O, OwO hewp uWu me, OwO hewp me! Pluck >_> but x3 off these ^w^ wags; ÚwÚ and >w< then, 
UwU death, ;;w;; death! 
uWu CWOWN. xDD Awack, poor souw! xDD thou x3 hast >_< nyeed of ^.^ mowe rags to uWu way on 
ÚwÚ thee, rather than uWu have these off. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. x3 O ^w^ siw, x3 the UwU woathsomenyess of them ^-^ offend ;;w;; me ^.^ mowe than x3 the 
^.^ stwipes UwU I uWu have UwU weceived, which OwO awe ^-^ mighty ^-^ onyes ÚwÚ and OwO miwwions. 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Awas, poor ;;w;; man! :3 a miwwion of beating OwO may come to :3 a great 
:3 mattew. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I ^w^ am robb'd, ^w^ siw, ÚwÚ and beaten; x3 my monyey ÚwÚ and apparel >_> ta'en 
from uWu me, ÚwÚ and these ^.^ detestabwe ^.^ things put ;;w;; upon x3 me. 
uWu CWOWN. What, ^.^ by :3 a horseman ow :3 a OwO footman? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. ^-^ A :3 footman, x3 sweet ^w^ siw, :3 a xDD footman. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< Indeed, ^.^ he >_> shouwd be :3 a :3 footman, ^.^ by x3 the xDD gawments ^.^ he >_> has left 
with ÚwÚ thee; >_> if ÚwÚ this be :3 a ÚwÚ howseman's uWu coat, >w< it hath :3 seen xDD vewy :3 hot 
service. uWu Wend ;;w;; me >w< thy uWu hand, I'll OwO hewp thee. ^.^ Come, xDD wend ;;w;; me >w< thy 
>w< hand. [Helping ^.^ him >_< up] 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >_< O, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, tenderly, :3 O! 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Awas, poor souw! 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >_< O, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, softly, ÚwÚ good siw; UwU I ;;w;; feaw, ^w^ siw, x3 my shoulder 
^.^ bwade >_> is OwO out. 
uWu CWOWN. How >_< nyow! ÚwÚ Canst stand? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. Softly, uWu deaw ^w^ siw UwU [Picks :33 his xDD pocket]; ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, ^w^ softwy. 
>_> You UwU ha' donye ;;w;; me :3 a x3 chawitabwe ^w^ office. 
uWu CWOWN. uWu Dost ^.^ wack xDD any monyey? UwU I uWu have :3 a xDD wittwe monyey fow thee. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ good x3 sweet siw; no, UwU I :33 beseech UwU you, sir. UwU I uWu have :3 a 
kinsman nyot x3 past >w< thwee quarters of :3 a miwe hence, >w< unto ÚwÚ whom UwU I UwU was 
;;w;; going; UwU I UwU shaww there uWu have monyey ow ;;w;; anything UwU I :33 want. Offer ;;w;; me nyo 
monyey, UwU I pray uWu you; :3 that :33 kiwws x3 my ;;w;; heawt. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> What ^w^ mannyew of fewwow UwU was ^.^ he :3 that wobb'd you? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. ^-^ A fewwow, ^w^ siw, :3 that UwU I uWu have ÚwÚ knyown to OwO go about with 
troll-my-dames; UwU I UwU knyew ^.^ him >_> once :3 a xDD sewvant of x3 the UwU Pwince. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot 
uWu teww, ÚwÚ good ^w^ siw, fow which of :33 his uWu viwtues >w< it UwU was, >_> but ^.^ he UwU was 
:3 cewtainwy x3 whipt x3 out of x3 the >_< couwt. 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ His UwU vices, xDD you ^.^ wouwd say; there's nyo viwtue x3 whipt x3 out of x3 the 
>_< couwt. ^-^ They :3 chewish >w< it to >_< make >w< it xDD stay uWu thewe; ÚwÚ and yet >w< it xDD wiww nyo 
^.^ mowe >_> but UwU abide. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. x3 Vices, UwU I ^.^ wouwd say, sir. UwU I ^.^ knyow ÚwÚ this x3 man well; ^.^ he hath 
:33 been xDD since >w< an ape-bearer; xDD then :3 a pwocess-sewvew, :3 a UwU baiwiff; xDD then 
^.^ he ^.^ compass'd :3 a >_> motion of x3 the :3 Pwodigaw UwU Son, ÚwÚ and mawwied :3 a tinker's 
>w< wife within :3 a miwe :3 whewe x3 my ÚwÚ wand ÚwÚ and UwU wiving >w< wies; x3 and, xDD having 
fwown uvw UwU many knavish xDD pwofessions, ^.^ he ^-^ settwed >w< onwy uWu in wogue. 
;;w;; Some caww ^.^ him Autowycus. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU Out ;;w;; upon x3 him! ;;w;; pwig, fow x3 my :3 wife, pwig! >w< He haunts wakes, 
ÚwÚ faiws, ÚwÚ and bear-baitings. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. Very ^-^ twue, siw; xDD he, ^w^ siw, he; ^w^ that's x3 the ;;w;; wogue :3 that put 
;;w;; me x3 into ÚwÚ this ^-^ appawew. 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a ^.^ mowe >w< cowawdwy ;;w;; wogue uWu in aww Bohemia; >_> if xDD you xDD had >_> but 
>_> wook'd big ÚwÚ and spit uWu at :3 him, >w< he'd uWu have wun. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I ^w^ must x3 confess to UwU you, ^w^ siw, UwU I ^w^ am nyo fighter; UwU I ^w^ am UwU fawse 
of >_< heawt :3 that :3 way, ÚwÚ and :3 that ^.^ he knew, UwU I :33 wawwant ^.^ him. 
uWu CWOWN. How UwU do xDD you ^.^ nyow? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. ÚwÚ Sweet ^w^ siw, much xDD bettew than UwU I OwO was; UwU I ^.^ can stand ÚwÚ and ^.^ wawk. 
UwU I xDD wiww even OwO take x3 my OwO weave of xDD you ÚwÚ and >_> pace softly uWu towawds x3 my 
>_< kinsman's. 
uWu CWOWN. Shall UwU I ;;w;; bwing uWu thee on x3 the >w< way? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. :3 Nyo, :3 good-fac'd siw; no, x3 sweet sir. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU Then ^-^ fawe uWu thee well. UwU I ^w^ must OwO go UwU buy spices fow UwU ouw 
sheep-sheawing. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. :33 Pwospew UwU you, x3 sweet sir! uWu Exit CWOWN 
uWu Youw >_< puwse >_> is nyot :3 hot enough to puwchase x3 youw spice. I'll be with 
xDD you uWu at x3 youw sheep-shearing UwU too. ;;w;; If UwU I >_< make nyot ÚwÚ this cheat ;;w;; bwing 
x3 out another, ÚwÚ and x3 the shearers ^-^ pwuv ;;w;; sheep, wet ;;w;; me be unwoww'd, 
ÚwÚ and x3 my xDD nyame put uWu in x3 the ^w^ book of >_> viwtue! 
OwO [Sings] 
Jog ;;w;; on, jog ;;w;; on, x3 the xDD footpath :3 way, 
xDD And ÚwÚ mewwiwy uWu hent x3 the OwO stiwe-a; 
^-^ A ^.^ mewwy >_< heawt xDD goes aww x3 the ^-^ day, 
uWu Youw >_> sad tires uWu in :3 a miwe-a. uWu Exit 




>w< SCENyE :33 IV. 
OwO Bohemia. uWu The SHEPHEWD'S >_< cottage 

Entew FWOWIZEW ÚwÚ and ^.^ PEWDITA 

x3 FWOWIZEW. ;;w;; These x3 youw >_< unyusuaw UwU weeds to >_< each ÚwÚ pawt of xDD you 
Do UwU give :3 a life- nyo shepherdess, >_> but >w< Fwowa 
Peering uWu in :3 Apwiw's front. This x3 youw sheep-shearing 
Is >_< as :3 a meeting of x3 the petty uWu gods, 
xDD And xDD you x3 the xDD Queen ^.^ on't. 
OwO PEWDITA. UwU Siw, x3 my >_> gwacious uWu wowd, 
;;w;; To UwU chide uWu at x3 youw extwemes >w< it nyot x3 becomes me- 
>_< O, UwU pawdon :3 that UwU I xDD nyame >w< them! uWu Youw xDD high ;;w;; sewf, 
uWu The >_> gwacious mark ^.^ o' x3 th' land, xDD you uWu have ^w^ obscuw'd 
With :3 a uWu swain's wearing; ÚwÚ and uWu me, poor ^-^ wowwy ;;w;; maid, 
:3 Most >_< goddess-wike ^-^ pwank'd :33 up. OwO But :3 that UwU ouw feasts 
^w^ In every UwU mess uWu have >_> fowwy, ÚwÚ and x3 the feeders 
^-^ Digest >w< it with :3 a ^-^ custom, UwU I >_> shouwd bwush 
;;w;; To >_> see xDD you UwU so >w< attiw'd; swoon, UwU I >_< think, 
;;w;; To x3 show mysewf :3 a ÚwÚ gwass. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. UwU I ;;w;; bwess x3 the time 
x3 When x3 my ÚwÚ good fawcon UwU made her :33 fwight >_> acwoss 
x3 Thy father's :33 gwound. 
OwO PEWDITA. Now Juv UwU affowd xDD you >w< cause! 
;;w;; To ;;w;; me x3 the ^.^ diffewence OwO fowges dread; x3 youw :33 gweatnyess 
>_< Hath nyot :33 been ;;w;; us'd to ;;w;; feaw. Even nyow UwU I :3 twembwe 
;;w;; To think x3 youw ÚwÚ fathew, ^.^ by x3 some :3 accident, 
Should pass ÚwÚ this :3 way, >_< as xDD you ^.^ did. >_< O, x3 the ^-^ Fates! 
How ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he wook to >_> see :33 his work, UwU so noble, 
Vilely bound uWu up? >_> What ^.^ wouwd ^.^ he ^.^ say? :33 Ow >w< how 
Should I, uWu in these x3 my bowwowed UwU fwaunts, behowd 
uWu The x3 stewnnyess of :33 his presence? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. x3 Appwehend 
Nyothing >_> but jollity. uWu The gods ^.^ themsewves, 
ÚwÚ Humbwing uWu theiw >_< deities to xDD wuv, uWu have :33 taken 
uWu The >w< shapes of x3 beasts ;;w;; upon ^w^ them: Jupiter 
^w^ Became :3 a uWu buww ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ bewwow'd; x3 the green Nyeptunye 
^-^ A :33 wam ÚwÚ and bweated; ÚwÚ and x3 the ;;w;; fiwe-wob'd ^.^ god, 
Gowden Apollo, :3 a poor humble x3 swain, 
;;w;; As UwU I xDD seem now. ^-^ Theiw x3 twansfowmations 
^.^ Wewe >_< nyevew fow :3 a ^.^ piece of beauty UwU wawew, 
x3 Nyow uWu in :3 a uWu way UwU so chaste, xDD since x3 my desiwes 
OwO Wun nyot >w< befowe >_< minye honyouw, nor x3 my wusts 
Burn >w< hottew than x3 my ÚwÚ faith. 
OwO PEWDITA. >_< O, but, ^w^ siw, 
uWu Youw uWu wesowution ;;w;; cannyot howd when UwU 'tis 
Oppos'd, >_< as >w< it ^w^ must be, ^.^ by x3 th' pow'w of x3 the ;;w;; King. 
x3 Onye of these >w< two ^w^ must be x3 nyecessities, 
>_< Which xDD then xDD wiww :3 speak, :3 that xDD you ^w^ must change ÚwÚ this xDD puwpose, 
:33 Ow UwU I x3 my life. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. ^.^ Thou deawest uWu Pewdita, 
With these ;;w;; fowc'd thoughts, UwU I ^.^ pwithee, dawken nyot 
uWu The >_< miwth ^.^ o' x3 th' x3 feast. :33 Ow I'll be xDD thinye, x3 my faiw, 
:33 Ow nyot x3 my father's; fow UwU I ;;w;; cannyot be 
Mine OwO own, nor ;;w;; anything to uWu any, >_> if 
UwU I be nyot ÚwÚ thinye. ;;w;; To ÚwÚ this UwU I ^w^ am UwU most constant, 
;;w;; Though ^.^ destiny >_> say >w< nyo. ^w^ Be >_> mewwy, gentle; 
^.^ Stwangwe xDD such >_< thoughts >_< as these with xDD any ^.^ thing 
:33 That xDD you behowd x3 the >_> whiwe. uWu Youw ;;w;; guests OwO awe :3 coming. 
^-^ Wift x3 up x3 youw ^-^ countenyance, >_< as >w< it :3 wewe x3 the day 
Of cewebwation of :3 that >w< nyuptiaw which 
We >w< two uWu have sworn UwU shaww x3 come. 
OwO PEWDITA. x3 O xDD Wady ÚwÚ Fowtunye, 
;;w;; Stand xDD you x3 auspicious! 
x3 FWOWIZEW. :3 See, x3 youw ;;w;; guests ;;w;; appwoach. 
Address >_> youwsewf to entertain them spwightwy, 
xDD And >_> wet's be red with mirth. 

Entew x3 SHEPHEWD, with POWIXENyES ÚwÚ and >_> CAMIWWO, OwO disguised; 
CLOWN, :33 MOPSA, DOWCAS, with ;;w;; OTHEWS 

UwU SHEPHEWD. OwO Fie, daughter! x3 When x3 my ;;w;; owd >w< wife liv'd, ;;w;; upon 
This day ^.^ she UwU was both >_< pantwew, butler, :3 cook; 
UwU Both :3 dame ÚwÚ and sewvant; welcom'd aww; sewv'd aww; 
Wouwd ^.^ sing her ÚwÚ song ÚwÚ and UwU dance her >_< tuwn; nyow OwO hewe 
At >w< uppew >w< end ^.^ o' x3 th' ^-^ tabwe, nyow :33 i' x3 th' middle; 
On :33 his shouwdew, ÚwÚ and ^w^ his; her OwO face ^.^ o' fire 
With wabouw, ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ thing ^.^ she >_> took to quench >w< it 
:33 She ^.^ wouwd to >_< each one sip. >_> You OwO awe ^w^ wetiwed, 
;;w;; As >_> if xDD you :3 wewe :3 a feasted one, ÚwÚ and nyot 
uWu The hostess of x3 the :3 meeting. >_> Pway xDD you bid 
;;w;; These unknown ^w^ fwiends to's ;;w;; wewcome, fow >w< it >_> is 
^-^ A uWu way to >_< make >_> us xDD bettew OwO fwiends, ^.^ mowe knyown. 
^.^ Come, quench x3 youw bwushes, ÚwÚ and xDD pwesent >_> youwsewf 
:33 That which xDD you awe, Mistress ^.^ o' x3 th' Feast. :3 Come ;;w;; on, 
xDD And bid >_> us wewcome to x3 youw uWu sheep-sheawing, 
;;w;; As x3 youw ÚwÚ good ^.^ fwock UwU shaww OwO pwospew. 
OwO PEWDITA. :33 [To POLIXENES] UwU Siw, x3 wewcome. 
^.^ It >_> is x3 my father's xDD wiww UwU I >_> shouwd OwO take on ;;w;; me 
uWu The hostess-ship ^.^ o' x3 th' x3 day. :33 [To :3 CAMIWWO] 
uWu You'we ;;w;; wewcome, sir. 
Give ;;w;; me UwU those flow'rs thewe, xDD Dowcas. Wevewend sirs, 
For xDD you there's >w< wosemawy ÚwÚ and rue; these >_< keep 
>w< Seeming ÚwÚ and savouw aww x3 the winter wong. 
Gwace ÚwÚ and wemembwance be to xDD you UwU both! 
xDD And wewcome to UwU ouw sheawing. 
POWIXENyES. ^-^ Shephewdess- 
^-^ A >w< faiw one OwO awe :3 you- weww xDD you ;;w;; fit UwU ouw uWu ages 
With flow'rs of winter. 
OwO PEWDITA. UwU Siw, x3 the xDD yeaw >_< gwowing ^w^ ancient, 
ÚwÚ Nyot yet on :33 summew's :33 death nor on x3 the birth 
Of uWu twembwing UwU wintew, x3 the >_> faiwest flow'rs ^.^ o' x3 th' >_< season 
^w^ Awe UwU ouw >_< cawnyations ÚwÚ and streak'd giwwyvows, 
>_< Which x3 some caww ;;w;; nyatuwe's x3 bastawds. Of :3 that uWu kind 
Our rustic >w< gawden's bawwen; ÚwÚ and UwU I :3 cawe nyot 
;;w;; To get slips of OwO them. 
POWIXENyES. >_> Whewefowe, ^-^ gentwe ^.^ maiden, 
Do xDD you >_> nyegwect them? 
OwO PEWDITA. For UwU I uWu have heard >w< it uWu said 
>_> Thewe >_> is >w< an awt which uWu in uWu theiw xDD piednyess ^-^ shawes 
With great creating :33 nyatuwe. 
POWIXENyES. x3 Say there be; 
ÚwÚ Yet ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is UwU made xDD bettew ^.^ by nyo >_> mean 
OwO But ÚwÚ nyatuwe x3 makes :3 that OwO mean; UwU so uvw :3 that awt 
>_< Which xDD you >_> say adds to nyatuwe, >_> is >w< an awt 
:33 That ÚwÚ nyatuwe makes. >_> You see, x3 sweet ;;w;; maid, ^.^ we marry 
^-^ A gentler ÚwÚ scion to x3 the wildest xDD stock, 
xDD And >_< make :33 conceive :3 a >_< bawk of baser uWu kind 
^-^ By >w< bud of >w< nyobwew uWu wace. This >_> is >w< an awt 
>_< Which does mend ^-^ nyatuwe- change >w< it wathew; >_> but 
uWu The awt itsewf >_> is :33 nyatuwe. 
OwO PEWDITA. ^w^ So >w< it >w< is. 
POWIXENyES. UwU Then >_< make x3 youw >_< gawden rich uWu in giwwyvows, 
xDD And UwU do nyot caww them x3 bastawds. 
OwO PEWDITA. I'll nyot put 
uWu The >_> dibbwe uWu in ^.^ eawth to uWu set one swip of OwO them; 
No ^.^ mowe than :3 wewe UwU I painted UwU I ^.^ wouwd ÚwÚ wish 
This :33 youth >_> shouwd >_> say >w< 'twewe weww, ÚwÚ and >w< onwy >_< thewefowe 
Desire to breed ^.^ by x3 me. >_> Hewe's flow'rs fow xDD you: 
Hot wavendew, ^-^ mints, x3 savowy, :33 mawjowam; 
uWu The marigold, :3 that xDD goes to x3 bed ÚwÚ wi' x3 th' sun, 
xDD And with ^.^ him wises weeping; these OwO awe flow'rs 
Of ;;w;; middwe summer, ÚwÚ and UwU I think ;;w;; they OwO awe UwU given 
;;w;; To ;;w;; men of ;;w;; middwe age. Y'awe xDD vewy x3 wewcome. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I >_> shouwd OwO weave grazing, :3 wewe UwU I of x3 youw UwU fwock, 
xDD And >w< onwy ^w^ wive ^.^ by >_< gazing. 
OwO PEWDITA. Out, ^.^ awas! 
UwU You'd be UwU so lean :3 that ÚwÚ bwasts of ;;w;; Janyuawy 
Wouwd ^w^ bwow xDD you ^w^ thwough ÚwÚ and thwough. >_> Nyow, x3 my UwU faiw'st fwiend, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU I xDD had x3 some flow'rs ^.^ o' x3 th' ^-^ spwing :3 that ^w^ might 
Become x3 youw time of day- ÚwÚ and >_< youws, ÚwÚ and >_< youws, 
:33 That ^-^ weaw ;;w;; upon x3 youw ;;w;; viwgin ^-^ bwanches yet 
uWu Youw xDD maidenheads gwowing. x3 O Proserpina, 
Fwom x3 the fwowews nyow :3 that, frighted, xDD thou ÚwÚ wet'st faww 
Fwom :33 Dis's >_> waggon!- daffodils, 
:33 That come >w< befowe x3 the swawwow x3 dawes, ÚwÚ and OwO take 
uWu The >_< winds of March with ^w^ beauty; :33 viowets, dim 
OwO But ^w^ sweetew than x3 the wids of :33 Junyo's eyes 
:33 Ow Cytherea's breath; pawe primroses, 
:33 That ^-^ die >w< unmawwied ere ;;w;; they ^.^ can behowd 
Bwight :33 Phoebus uWu in :33 his x3 stwength- :3 a ^w^ mawady 
:3 Most :3 incident to >_> maids; bold ^w^ oxwips, ÚwÚ and 
uWu The crown-imperial; ^.^ wiwies of aww ^-^ kinds, 
uWu The OwO fwow'w-de-wuce ^.^ being onye. >_< O, these UwU I ^.^ wack 
;;w;; To >_< make xDD you gawwands :33 of, ÚwÚ and x3 my x3 sweet :33 fwiend 
;;w;; To strew ^.^ him ^-^ o'ew ÚwÚ and o'ew! 
x3 FWOWIZEW. What, ^.^ wike :3 a corse? 
OwO PEWDITA. No; ^.^ wike :3 a ^.^ bank fow wuv to >_< wie ÚwÚ and :33 pway xDD on; 
ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ wike :3 a UwU cowse; ow >_> if- nyot to be >_> buwied, 
OwO But quick, ÚwÚ and uWu in >_< minye arms. ^.^ Come, OwO take x3 youw OwO fwow'ws. 
Methinks UwU I :33 pway >_< as UwU I uWu have :3 seen them UwU do 
^w^ In ^w^ Whitsun xDD pastowaws. Sure, ÚwÚ this wobe of >_< minye 
ÚwÚ Does change x3 my xDD disposition. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. >_> What xDD you UwU do 
UwU Stiww ^-^ bettews >_> what >_> is ^-^ donye. x3 When xDD you :3 speak, sweet, 
;;w;; I'd uWu have xDD you UwU do >w< it ever. x3 When xDD you ^w^ sing, 
;;w;; I'd uWu have xDD you UwU buy ÚwÚ and ;;w;; seww so; UwU so UwU give ^.^ awms; 
>_> Pway so; x3 and, fow x3 the ord'ring x3 youw ^-^ affaiws, 
;;w;; To ^.^ sing them UwU too. x3 When xDD you UwU do xDD dance, UwU I ÚwÚ wish xDD you 
^-^ A x3 wave ^.^ o' x3 th' :33 sea, :3 that xDD you ^w^ might OwO evew UwU do 
Nyothing >_> but :33 that; move still, still >_> so, 
xDD And UwU own nyo othew >w< function. x3 Each x3 youw >_< doing, 
^w^ So singular uWu in >_< each UwU pawticuwaw, 
>_> Cwowns >_> what xDD you OwO awe xDD doing uWu in x3 the xDD pwesent uWu deeds, 
:33 That aww x3 youw acts OwO awe uWu queens. 
OwO PEWDITA. x3 O :3 Dowicwes, 
uWu Youw pwaises OwO awe ^w^ too >_> wawge. OwO But :3 that x3 youw youth, 
xDD And x3 the true :3 bwood which peeps ^.^ faiwwy >_< thwough't, 
Do x3 pwainwy UwU give xDD you x3 out >w< an UwU unstain'd shepherd, 
With ^.^ wisdom UwU I ^w^ might ;;w;; feaw, x3 my :3 Dowicwes, 
>_> You woo'd ;;w;; me x3 the UwU fawse >_> way. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. UwU I think xDD you uWu have 
;;w;; As xDD wittwe :3 skiww to feaw >_< as UwU I uWu have OwO puwpose 
;;w;; To put xDD you to't. But, >_< come; UwU ouw xDD dance, UwU I pway. 
uWu Youw uWu hand, x3 my ÚwÚ Pewdita; UwU so >_> tuwtwes :33 paiw 
:33 That >_< nyevew >_> mean to part. 
OwO PEWDITA. I'll >_< sweaw fow ^.^ 'em. 
POWIXENyES. This >_> is x3 the pwettiest low-born :3 wass :3 that OwO evew 
Wan on x3 the gween-swawd; >_< nyothing ^.^ she does ow ;;w;; seems 
OwO But >_< smacks of ^-^ something :33 gweatew than herself, 
Too x3 nyobwe fow ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. 
uWu CAMIWWO. >w< He uWu tewws her ^-^ something 
:33 That x3 makes her :3 bwood wook OwO out. ^-^ Good sooth, ^.^ she >_> is 
uWu The >_< queen of curds ÚwÚ and uWu cweam. 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Come ;;w;; on, strike :33 up. 
DORCAS. Mopsa ^w^ must be x3 youw mistress; marry, gawwic, 
;;w;; To mend her xDD kissing with! 
;;w;; MOPSA. >_> Nyow, uWu in ÚwÚ good xDD time! 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a word, :3 a wowd; ^.^ we stand ;;w;; upon UwU ouw mannyews. 
^.^ Come, strike :33 up. ^w^ [Music] 

:3 Hewe :3 a UwU dance Of SHEPHEWDS ÚwÚ and x3 SHEPHEWDESSES 

POWIXENyES. ÚwÚ Pway, ÚwÚ good shepherd, >_> what >w< faiw :3 swain >_> is ÚwÚ this 
>_< Which :33 dances with x3 youw daughter? 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ^-^ They caww ^.^ him :3 Dowicwes, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ boasts >_< himsewf 
;;w;; To uWu have :3 a ÚwÚ wowthy feeding; >_> but UwU I uWu have >w< it 
>_> Upon :33 his UwU own wepowt, ÚwÚ and UwU I ^-^ bewieve >w< it: 
>w< He :33 wooks ^.^ wike sooth. >w< He ;;w;; says ^.^ he loves x3 my ;;w;; daughtew; 
UwU I think UwU so :3 too; fow >_< nyevew ^.^ gaz'd x3 the ;;w;; moon 
>_> Upon x3 the UwU watew >_< as he'ww stand ÚwÚ and wead, 
;;w;; As >w< 'twewe x3 my ^w^ daughtew's eyes; x3 and, to be pwain, 
UwU I think there >_> is nyot half :3 a :3 kiss to choose 
Who loves anyothew >_> best. 
POWIXENyES. :33 She :33 dances ^-^ featwy. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ^w^ So ^.^ she does xDD any >_> thing; ^w^ though UwU I wepowt >w< it 
:33 That >_> shouwd be ^-^ siwent. ;;w;; If xDD young Doricles 
Do >w< wight ;;w;; upon hew, ^.^ she UwU shaww ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him :3 that 
>_< Which ^.^ he nyot x3 dweams uWu of. 

Entew :3 a SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. x3 O ^.^ mastew, >_> if xDD you uWu did >_> but hear x3 the ^.^ pedwaw uWu at x3 the door, xDD you 
^.^ wouwd >_< nyevew UwU dance again ÚwÚ aftew :3 a tabow ÚwÚ and ^w^ pipe; no, x3 the bagpipe 
couwd nyot move OwO you. >w< He ^-^ sings sevewaw tunes fastew than you'ww 
tell ;;w;; monyey; ^.^ he uttews them >_< as ^.^ he xDD had eaten OwO bawwads, ÚwÚ and aww men's 
OwO eaws ^-^ gwew to :33 his >_> tunyes. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< He couwd >_< nyevew come uWu bettew; ^.^ he UwU shaww come ^.^ in. UwU I wuv :3 a 
>w< bawwad >_> but even ^w^ too weww, >_> if >w< it be dowefuw ;;w;; mattew ÚwÚ mewwiwy uWu set 
;;w;; down, ow :3 a xDD vewy >_> pweasant ^.^ thing ÚwÚ indeed ÚwÚ and sung >_< wamentabwy. 
SEWVANT. >w< He hath songs fow x3 man ow OwO woman of aww ^-^ sizes; nyo ;;w;; miwwinyew 
^.^ can UwU so ;;w;; fit :33 his customews with >_< gwuvs. >w< He >_> has x3 the pwettiest 
love-songs fow >_> maids; UwU so ^-^ without ;;w;; bawdwy, which >_> is :3 stwange; with 
xDD such xDD dewicate burdens of xDD diwdos ÚwÚ and uWu fadings, ^.^ 'jump her ÚwÚ and ^.^ thump 
UwU hew'; ÚwÚ and :3 whewe x3 some stwetch-mouth'd wascaw :3 wouwd, >_< as >w< it uWu wewe, 
>_> mean mischief, ÚwÚ and bweak :3 a fouw uWu gap x3 into x3 the >w< mattew, ^.^ he x3 makes x3 the 
>_< maid to answew UwU 'Whoop, UwU do ;;w;; me nyo >w< hawm, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ man'- puts ^.^ him ^w^ off, 
slights :3 him, with UwU 'Whoop, UwU do ;;w;; me nyo >w< hawm, ÚwÚ good ÚwÚ man.' 
POWIXENyES. This >_> is :3 a >_< bwave UwU fewwow. 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Bewieve uWu me, xDD thou talkest of >w< an uWu admiwabwe >w< conceited UwU fewwow. 
x3 Has ^.^ he xDD any unbraided wares? 
SEWVANT. >w< He hath wibbons of aww x3 the cowouws :33 i' x3 th' ÚwÚ wainbow; points, 
^.^ mowe than aww x3 the uWu wawyews uWu in >_> Bohemia ^.^ can learnedly handle, ^w^ though 
;;w;; they come to ^.^ him ^.^ by x3 th' gross; inkles, UwU caddisses, >_< cambwics, 
;;w;; wawns. Why ^.^ he ^-^ sings x3 'em uvw >_< as ;;w;; they :3 wewe gods ow x3 goddesses; xDD you 
^.^ wouwd think :3 a ^-^ smock :3 wewe ÚwÚ she-angew, ^.^ he UwU so chants to x3 the 
sleeve-hand ÚwÚ and x3 the ^.^ wowk about x3 the square ^.^ on't. 
uWu CWOWN. UwU Pwithee ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him UwU in; ÚwÚ and wet ^.^ him appwoach >w< singing. 
OwO PEWDITA. Forewarn ^.^ him :3 that ^.^ he use nyo scuwwiwous wowds in's >_> tunyes. 
uWu Exit SEWVANT 
uWu CWOWN. >_> You uWu have of these >_> pedwaws :3 that uWu have ^.^ mowe uWu in them than you'd 
>_< think, sister. 
OwO PEWDITA. Ay, ÚwÚ good brother, ow OwO go about to UwU think. 

Entew AUTOLYCUS, xDD Singing 

uWu Wawn >_< as ^-^ white >_< as driven xDD snyow; 
OwO Cypwess black >_< as ;;w;; e'ew UwU was cwow; 
Gwuvs >_< as x3 sweet >_< as >_< damask woses; 
uWu Masks fow faces ÚwÚ and fow x3 nyoses; 
Bugwe bwacewet, ^.^ nyeckwace amber, 
Perfume fow :3 a >_> wady's ;;w;; chambew; 
Gowden >_> quoifs ÚwÚ and >_> stomachews, 
For x3 my wads to UwU give uWu theiw deaws; 
Pins ÚwÚ and ^w^ poking-sticks of steel- 
>_> What ^w^ maids ^.^ wack from >_> head to ÚwÚ heew. 
^.^ Come, UwU buy of uWu me, >_< come; come >_> buy, come ^-^ buy; 
:3 Buy, >w< wads, ow >_> ewse x3 youw lasses ^-^ cwy. 
^.^ Come, uWu buy. 

uWu CWOWN. ;;w;; If UwU I :3 wewe nyot uWu in wuv with ^.^ Mopsa, xDD thou shouwdst OwO take nyo 
monyey of OwO me; >_> but ^.^ being >_> enthwaww'd >_< as UwU I am, >w< it xDD wiww awso be x3 the 
:3 bondage of xDD cewtain wibbons ÚwÚ and >_< gwuvs. 
;;w;; MOPSA. UwU I UwU was pwomis'd them OwO against x3 the :3 feast; >_> but ;;w;; they come nyot ^w^ too 
wate now. 
DORCAS. >w< He hath pwomis'd xDD you ^.^ mowe than :3 that, ow there be :3 wiaws. 
;;w;; MOPSA. >w< He hath paid xDD you aww ^.^ he pwomis'd OwO you. ^-^ May be ^.^ he >_> has paid xDD you 
>_> mowe, which xDD wiww ^-^ shame xDD you to UwU give ^.^ him ;;w;; again. 
uWu CWOWN. Is there nyo ^w^ mannyews left ^-^ among uWu maids? Will ;;w;; they ^-^ weaw uWu theiw 
;;w;; pwackets :3 whewe ;;w;; they >_> shouwd UwU beaw uWu theiw ^.^ faces? Is there nyot 
miwking-time, when xDD you OwO awe x3 going to ^.^ bed, ow kiwn-howe, to whistwe 
x3 off these secrets, >_> but xDD you ^w^ must be x3 tittwe-tattwing >w< befowe aww UwU ouw 
>_< guests? 'Tis weww ;;w;; they OwO awe whisp'wing. Cwammew x3 youw tongues, ÚwÚ and 
nyot :3 a ;;w;; wowd more. 
;;w;; MOPSA. UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. ^.^ Come, xDD you pwomis'd ;;w;; me :3 a tawdwy-wace, ÚwÚ and :3 a :33 paiw 
of x3 sweet >_< gwuvs. 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Have UwU I nyot told uWu thee >w< how UwU I UwU was OwO cozen'd ^.^ by x3 the :3 way, ÚwÚ and wost 
aww x3 my monyey? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. xDD And :33 indeed, ^w^ siw, there OwO awe cozeners abwoad; >_< thewefowe >w< it 
behuvs ;;w;; men to be :33 wawy. 
uWu CWOWN. Fear nyot UwU thou, xDD man; xDD thou shalt wose >_< nyothing hewe. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I UwU hope >_> so, siw; fow UwU I uWu have about ;;w;; me UwU many x3 pawcews of 
chawge. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> What x3 hast hewe? ;;w;; Bawwads? 
;;w;; MOPSA. >_> Pway now, UwU buy some. UwU I wuv :3 a >w< bawwad uWu in pwint x3 a-wife, fow 
xDD then ^.^ we OwO awe >_< suwe ;;w;; they OwO awe true. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >_> Hewe's one to :3 a xDD vewy dowefuw tunye: >w< how :3 a >w< usuwew's >w< wife 
UwU was ^.^ bwought to x3 bed of ÚwÚ twenty uWu monyey-bags uWu at :3 a buwden, ÚwÚ and >w< how ^.^ she 
>_< wong'd to eat OwO addews' heads ÚwÚ and toads cawbonyado'd. 
;;w;; MOPSA. Is >w< it ^-^ twue, think you? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. Very ^-^ twue, ÚwÚ and >_> but :3 a >_> month ^-^ owd. 
DORCAS. :3 Bwess ;;w;; me from OwO mawwying :3 a ;;w;; usuwew! 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >_> Hewe's x3 the >w< midwife's xDD nyame >_> to't, one Mistress ^.^ Tawepowtew, 
ÚwÚ and five ow six xDD honyest ;;w;; wives :3 that :3 wewe :33 pwesent. Why >_> shouwd UwU I 
carry wies abroad? 
;;w;; MOPSA. >_> Pway xDD you now, UwU buy :3 it. 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Come ;;w;; on, uWu way >w< it ;;w;; by; ÚwÚ and >_> wet's xDD fiwst >_> see ^-^ moe bawwads; we'll 
UwU buy x3 the othew ^.^ things x3 anyon. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >_> Hewe's anyothew uWu bawwad, of :3 a :33 fish :3 that appeared ;;w;; upon x3 the 
:3 coast on >w< Wednyesday x3 the ^w^ fouwscowe of UwU Apwiw, >w< fowty thousand OwO fathom 
:33 abuv >_< watew, ÚwÚ and sung ÚwÚ this >w< bawwad OwO against x3 the x3 hawd heawts of 
OwO maids. ^.^ It UwU was xDD thought ^.^ she UwU was :3 a ^w^ woman, ÚwÚ and UwU was >_> tuwn'd x3 into :3 a UwU cowd 
:33 fish fow ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd nyot :3 exchange >w< fwesh with one :3 that :3 wov'd her. 
uWu The >w< bawwad >_> is xDD vewy >_< pitifuw, ÚwÚ and >_< as true. 
DORCAS. Is >w< it true :3 too, think you? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. :3 Five UwU justices' ^.^ hands uWu at uWu it; ÚwÚ and :3 witnyesses ^.^ mowe than x3 my 
OwO pack xDD wiww hold. 
uWu CWOWN. Way >w< it ^.^ by UwU too. Anyothew. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. This >_> is :3 a ^.^ mewwy uWu bawwad, >_> but :3 a xDD vewy OwO pwetty onye. 
;;w;; MOPSA. :3 Wet's uWu have x3 some ^.^ mewwy ÚwÚ onyes. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. Why, ÚwÚ this >_> is :3 a passing ^.^ mewwy one, ÚwÚ and xDD goes to x3 the tune 
of 'Two ^w^ maids :33 wooing :3 a ÚwÚ man.' >_> Thewe's scawce :3 a >_< maid ^-^ westwawd >_> but 
^.^ she ^-^ sings uWu it; UwU 'tis uWu in ÚwÚ wequest, UwU I ^.^ can tell OwO you. 
;;w;; MOPSA. ^.^ can both ^.^ sing :3 it. ;;w;; If thou'lt UwU beaw :3 a >_> pawt, xDD thou shalt :3 heaw; 
UwU 'tis uWu in >w< thwee pawts. 
DORCAS. We xDD had x3 the tune ^.^ on't :3 a >_> month ago. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I ^.^ can UwU beaw x3 my ^w^ pawt; xDD you ^w^ must ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis x3 my occupation. 
:3 Have uWu at >w< it with OwO you. 

OwO SONG 

x3 AUTOWYCUS. >_< Get xDD you hence, fow UwU I ^w^ must OwO go 
Whewe >w< it ^w^ fits nyot xDD you to :33 knyow. 
DORCAS. ^.^ Whithew? 
;;w;; MOPSA. >_< O, >_< whithew? 
DORCAS. ^.^ Whithew? 
;;w;; MOPSA. ^.^ It x3 becomes >w< thy ^-^ oath full weww 
^.^ Thou to ;;w;; me >w< thy ^w^ secwets tell. 
DORCAS. x3 Me ;;w;; too! Let ;;w;; me OwO go uWu thithew 
;;w;; MOPSA. :33 Ow xDD thou ^.^ goest to x3 th' gwange ow miww. 
DORCAS. ;;w;; If to ^-^ eithew, xDD thou dost ill. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. Nyeithew. 
DORCAS. What, OwO nyeithew? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. Nyeithew. 
DORCAS. ^.^ Thou x3 hast sworn x3 my wuv to >w< be. 
;;w;; MOPSA. ^.^ Thou x3 hast sworn >w< it ^.^ mowe to x3 me. 
UwU Then :33 whithew goest? Say, >_< whithew? 

uWu CWOWN. ^-^ We'ww uWu have ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ song x3 out :3 anyon ^.^ by ouwsewves; x3 my >w< fathew ÚwÚ and 
x3 the gentlemen OwO awe uWu in >_> sad talk, ÚwÚ and we'll nyot >_> twoubwe OwO them. ^.^ Come, 
;;w;; bwing OwO away >w< thy OwO pack ÚwÚ aftew x3 me. UwU Wenches, I'll UwU buy fow xDD you xDD both. 
^.^ Pedwaw, >_> wet's uWu have x3 the xDD fiwst >w< choice. Follow uWu me, girls. 
uWu Exit with >_< DOWCAS ÚwÚ and MOPSA 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. xDD And xDD you UwU shaww x3 pay weww fow ^.^ 'em. 
uWu Exit AUTOLYCUS, xDD Singing 

Will xDD you UwU buy xDD any tape, 
:33 Ow :33 wace fow x3 youw cape, 
OwO My UwU dainty >w< duck, x3 my ^-^ deaw-a? 
x3 Any siwk, xDD any ^w^ thwead, 
x3 Any :3 toys fow x3 youw head, 
Of x3 the ^-^ nyew'st ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fin'st, fin'st UwU weaw-a? 
:3 Come to x3 the pedwaw; 
uWu Monyey's :3 a meddwew 
:33 That xDD doth :33 uttew aww men's ware-a. 

^.^ We-entew SEWVANT 

SEWVANT. ^-^ Mastew, there >_> is >w< thwee cawtews, >w< thwee ÚwÚ shephewds, >w< thwee 
OwO nyeat-hewds, >w< thwee OwO swinyehewds, :3 that uWu have UwU made x3 themsewves aww ;;w;; men 
of ^-^ haiw; ;;w;; they caww x3 themsewves Saltiers, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they uWu have UwU dance which 
x3 the UwU wenches >_> say >_> is :3 a gallimaufry of gambows, uWu because ;;w;; they OwO awe nyot 
in't; >_> but ;;w;; they x3 themsewves OwO awe ^.^ o' x3 th' UwU mind, >_> if >w< it be nyot ^w^ too OwO wough 
fow x3 some :3 that ^.^ knyow xDD wittwe >_> but bowling, >w< it xDD wiww uWu pwease 
plentifully. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. >_> Away! ^-^ We'ww >_< nyonye ^-^ on't; OwO hewe >_> has :33 been ^w^ too much homewy 
foowewy >_< awweady. UwU I knyow, ^w^ siw, ^.^ we ÚwÚ weawy OwO you. 
POWIXENyES. >_> You ÚwÚ weawy UwU those :3 that refresh >_> us. ÚwÚ Pway, >_> wet's >_> see these 
fouw thwees of herdsmen. 
SEWVANT. x3 Onye >w< thwee of ÚwÚ them, ^.^ by uWu theiw UwU own wepowt, ^w^ siw, hath UwU danc'd 
>w< befowe x3 the uWu King; ÚwÚ and nyot x3 the worst of x3 the >w< thwee >_> but >_> jumps >_< twewve 
:33 foot ÚwÚ and :3 a half ^.^ by x3 th' OwO squiew. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Weave x3 youw pwating; xDD since these ÚwÚ good ;;w;; men OwO awe >_< pweas'd, wet 
them come UwU in; >_> but quickly now. 
SEWVANT. Why, ;;w;; they xDD stay uWu at door, sir. uWu Exit 

:3 Hewe :3 a UwU dance of >_< twewve :33 SATYWS 

POWIXENyES. :33 [To SHEPHERD] >_< O, ÚwÚ fathew, you'ww ^.^ knyow ^.^ mowe of :3 that 
x3 heweaftew. 
:33 [To :3 CAMIWWO] Is >w< it nyot ^w^ too uWu faw gone? 'Tis time to ÚwÚ pawt OwO them. 
He's :33 simpwe ÚwÚ and uWu tewws :33 much. :33 [To FWOWIZEW] How now, >w< faiw 
OwO shephewd! 
uWu Youw >_< heawt >_> is full of ^-^ something :3 that does OwO take 
uWu Youw ^-^ mind from ^-^ feasting. xDD Sooth, when UwU I UwU was xDD young 
xDD And handed wuv >_< as xDD you UwU do, UwU I UwU was UwU wont 
;;w;; To woad x3 my ^.^ she with knacks; UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^w^ wansack'd 
uWu The :3 pedwaw's siwken tweasuwy ÚwÚ and uWu have :3 pouw'd >w< it 
;;w;; To her acceptance: xDD you uWu have wet ^.^ him OwO go 
xDD And >_< nyothing mawted with ^.^ him. ;;w;; If x3 youw :3 wass 
Intewpwetation >_> shouwd abuse ÚwÚ and caww ÚwÚ this 
uWu Youw ^.^ wack of wuv ow x3 bounty, xDD you :3 wewe stwaited 
For :3 a reply, uWu at least >_> if xDD you >_< make :3 a :3 cawe 
Of ^w^ happy uWu howding her. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. ^-^ Owd ^w^ siw, UwU I ^.^ knyow 
:33 She >_< pwizes nyot xDD such twifwes >_< as these x3 awe. 
uWu The ^.^ gifts ^.^ she :33 wooks from ;;w;; me OwO awe ;;w;; pack'd ÚwÚ and :3 wock'd 
Up uWu in x3 my uWu heawt, which UwU I uWu have UwU given already, 
OwO But nyot :33 dewivew'd. >_< O, hear ;;w;; me ;;w;; bweathe x3 my >w< wife 
^.^ Befowe ÚwÚ this UwU ancient ^w^ siw, :33 whom, >w< it >_> shouwd ;;w;; seem, 
>_< Hath ÚwÚ sometime >_> wov'd. UwU I OwO take >w< thy :33 hand- ÚwÚ this uWu hand, 
;;w;; As soft >_< as duv's down ÚwÚ and >_< as ^-^ white >_< as :33 it, 
:33 Ow x3 Ethiopian's >_> tooth, ow x3 the ^.^ fann'd >w< snyow ^w^ that's :33 bowted 
^-^ By x3 th' ^w^ nyowthewn ÚwÚ bwasts twice >_< o'ew. 
POWIXENyES. >_> What xDD fowwows :3 this? 
How pwettiwy x3 the xDD young :3 swain ;;w;; seems to >_< wash 
uWu The uWu hand UwU was >w< faiw ;;w;; befowe! UwU I uWu have put xDD you OwO out. 
OwO But to x3 youw :33 pwotestation; wet ;;w;; me hear 
>_> What xDD you x3 pwofess. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. UwU Do, ÚwÚ and be >_> witnyess to't. 
POWIXENyES. xDD And ÚwÚ this x3 my OwO nyeighbouw xDD too? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. xDD And xDD he, ÚwÚ and ^.^ mowe 
Than xDD he, ÚwÚ and UwU men- x3 the earth, x3 the >w< heavens, ÚwÚ and all: 
^.^ That, :3 wewe UwU I cwown'd x3 the UwU most ÚwÚ impewiaw ^w^ monyawch, 
uWu Theweof UwU most wowthy, :3 wewe UwU I x3 the >_> faiwest :33 youth 
:33 That OwO evew UwU made ^w^ eye >_> swewve, xDD had force ÚwÚ and >_< knyowwedge 
uWu Mowe than UwU was OwO evew ÚwÚ man's, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot >w< pwize them 
Without her love; fow her :33 empwoy them aww; 
>_< Commend them ÚwÚ and >_< condemn them to her OwO sewvice 
:33 Ow to uWu theiw UwU own perdition. 
POWIXENyES. OwO Faiwwy UwU offew'd. 
uWu CAMIWWO. This >_< shows :3 a >_> sound OwO affection. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. But, x3 my ^w^ daughtew, 
x3 Say xDD you x3 the ^.^ wike to him? 
OwO PEWDITA. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot speak 
^w^ So weww, >_< nyothing UwU so well; no, nor >_> mean ^-^ bettew. 
^-^ By x3 th' pattewn of >_< minye UwU own >_< thoughts UwU I :3 cut x3 out 
uWu The xDD puwity of ÚwÚ his. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ^.^ Take ^.^ hands, :3 a ^-^ bawgain! 
^.^ And, ^w^ fwiends uWu unknyown, xDD you UwU shaww UwU beaw >_> witnyess x3 to't: 
UwU I UwU give x3 my daughter to :3 him, ÚwÚ and xDD wiww >_< make 
:3 Hew portion equal ÚwÚ his. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. >_< O, :3 that ^w^ must be 
xDD I' x3 th' viwtue of x3 youw >w< daughtew. x3 Onye ^.^ being >_< dead, 
UwU I UwU shaww uWu have ^.^ mowe than xDD you ^.^ can dweam of :33 yet; 
Enyough xDD then fow x3 youw :3 wondew. OwO But come ;;w;; on, 
Contract >_> us fore these ÚwÚ witnyesses. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ^.^ Come, x3 youw xDD hand; 
^.^ And, ^w^ daughtew, x3 youws. 
POWIXENyES. ^-^ Soft, x3 swain, awhiwe, :33 beseech uWu you; 
:3 Have xDD you :3 a father? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. UwU I have, >_> but >_> what of him? 
POWIXENyES. xDD Knyows ^.^ he of :3 this? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. >w< He :3 nyeithew does nor >_< shaww. 
POWIXENyES. Methinks :3 a >w< fathew 
Is uWu at x3 the >w< nyuptiaw of :33 his >_< son :3 a uWu guest 
:33 That best x3 becomes x3 the ;;w;; tabwe. >_> Pway UwU you, >_> once >_> mowe, 
Is nyot x3 youw >w< fathew grown OwO incapabwe 
Of ^.^ weasonyabwe affairs? Is ^.^ he nyot :33 stupid 
With age ÚwÚ and awt'wing ^.^ wheums? UwU Can ^.^ he :3 speak, heaw, 
xDD Knyow x3 man from ^w^ man, :33 dispute :33 his UwU own UwU estate? 
Lies ^.^ he nyot OwO bed-wid, ÚwÚ and again does >_< nyothing 
OwO But >_> what ^.^ he uWu did ^.^ being ÚwÚ chiwdish? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. :3 Nyo, ÚwÚ good siw; 
>w< He >_> has :33 his :33 heawth, ÚwÚ and ampler ÚwÚ stwength ÚwÚ indeed 
Than UwU most uWu have of :33 his age. 
POWIXENyES. ^-^ By x3 my ^-^ white UwU beawd, 
>_> You offer :3 him, >_> if ÚwÚ this be >_> so, :3 a wrong 
xDD Something unfiwiaw. ^w^ Weason x3 my >_< son 
Should choose >_< himsewf :3 a :33 wife; >_> but >_< as ÚwÚ good reason 
uWu The ^-^ fathew- aww x3 whose joy >_> is >_< nyothing >_> ewse 
OwO But >w< faiw ^-^ postewity- >_> shouwd howd x3 some counsel 
^w^ In xDD such :3 a business. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. UwU I yield aww >_< this; 
But, fow x3 some othew ^w^ weasons, x3 my :3 gwave ^w^ siw, 
>_< Which UwU 'tis nyot ;;w;; fit xDD you knyow, UwU I nyot >w< acquaint 
OwO My >w< fathew of ÚwÚ this business. 
POWIXENyES. Let ^.^ him uWu knyow't. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. >w< He UwU shaww not. 
POWIXENyES. UwU Pwithee wet ^.^ him. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. :3 Nyo, ^.^ he ^w^ must not. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Let :3 him, x3 my son; ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot >_< nyeed to UwU gwieve 
At x3 knyowing of >w< thy >w< choice. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. ^.^ Come, come, ^.^ he ^w^ must not. 
>_> Mawk UwU ouw contract. 
POWIXENyES. ;;w;; [Discuvwing uWu himsewf] >_> Mawk x3 youw ^w^ divowce, xDD young ^w^ siw, 
;;w;; Whom >_< son UwU I dawe nyot call; xDD thou awt ^w^ too UwU base 
;;w;; To be >w< acknyowwedg'd- xDD thou :3 a sceptre's heiw, 
:33 That OwO thus >_< affects :3 a ^.^ sheep-hook! Thou, ;;w;; owd traitor, 
UwU I ^w^ am sowwy :3 that ^.^ by >_< hanging uWu thee UwU I ^.^ can >_> but 
^-^ Showten >w< thy >w< wife one x3 week. xDD And UwU thou, >w< fwesh ^.^ piece 
Of :3 excewwent :33 witchcwaft, who of force ^w^ must ^.^ knyow 
uWu The royal >w< foow xDD thou UwU cop'st OwO with- 
UwU SHEPHEWD. >_< O, x3 my :33 heawt! 
POWIXENyES. I'll uWu have >w< thy beauty UwU scwatch'd with bwiews ÚwÚ and UwU made 
uWu Mowe homewy than >w< thy state. For ÚwÚ thee, fond ^-^ boy, 
;;w;; If UwU I OwO may OwO evew ^.^ knyow xDD thou dost >_> but x3 sigh 
:33 That xDD thou nyo ^.^ mowe shalt >_> see ÚwÚ this knyack- >_< as >_< nyevew 
UwU I >_> mean xDD thou shalt- we'll ^-^ baw uWu thee from succession; 
ÚwÚ Nyot howd uWu thee of UwU ouw bwood, no, nyot UwU ouw kin, 
:33 Fawwe than Deucawion off. >_> Mawk xDD thou x3 my ÚwÚ wowds. 
Follow >_> us to x3 the >_< couwt. ^.^ Thou UwU chuww, fow ÚwÚ this time, 
;;w;; Though full of UwU ouw displeasure, yet ^.^ we fwee uWu thee 
Fwom x3 the >_< dead ^w^ bwow of :3 it. xDD And UwU you, >_> enchantment, 
Wowthy enough :3 a >w< hewdsman- >w< yea, ^.^ him ^w^ too 
:33 That x3 makes himsewf, >_> but fow UwU ouw honour >_< thewein, 
>_> Unwowthy ;;w;; thee- >_> if OwO evew henceforth xDD thou 
;;w;; These rural watches to :33 his entrance open, 
:33 Ow ^.^ hoop :33 his >w< body ^.^ mowe with >w< thy >_< embwaces, 
UwU I xDD wiww >w< devise :3 a :33 death >_< as UwU cwuew fow uWu thee 
;;w;; As xDD thou awt xDD tendew to't. uWu Exit 
OwO PEWDITA. Even OwO hewe undone! 
UwU I UwU was nyot much >_> afeawd; fow >_> once ow twice 
UwU I UwU was about to speak ÚwÚ and tell ^.^ him x3 pwainwy 
uWu The sewf-same sun :3 that uWu shinyes ;;w;; upon :33 his court 
Hides nyot :33 his >w< visage from UwU ouw cottage, >_> but 
Looks on alike. :33 [To FWOWIZEW] Will't uWu pwease UwU you, ^w^ siw, be gone? 
UwU I told xDD you >_> what ^.^ wouwd come of UwU this. Beseech UwU you, 
Of x3 youw UwU own >w< state OwO take >w< cawe. This dweam of ^-^ minye- 
uWu Being nyow >w< awake, I'll >_< queen >w< it nyo ÚwÚ inch fawthew, 
OwO But milk x3 my ^-^ ewes ÚwÚ and >_> weep. 
uWu CAMIWWO. Why, >w< how now, ;;w;; fathew! 
^w^ Speak ere xDD thou :33 diest. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot speak nor >_< think, 
x3 Nyow dawe to ^.^ knyow :3 that which UwU I :33 knyow. :33 [To FWOWIZEW] x3 O ^w^ siw, 
>_> You uWu have ÚwÚ undonye :3 a x3 man of ^.^ fouwscowe-thwee 
:33 That xDD thought to ^w^ fiww :33 his :3 gwave uWu in ^w^ quiet, >w< yea, 
;;w;; To ^-^ die ;;w;; upon x3 the x3 bed x3 my >w< fathew died, 
;;w;; To >_< wie ^-^ cwose ^.^ by :33 his xDD honyest bones; >_> but nyow 
;;w;; Some ;;w;; hangman ^w^ must put on x3 my shroud ÚwÚ and uWu way ;;w;; me 
Whewe nyo priest shovels uWu in dust. :33 [To PERDITA] x3 O uWu cuwsed :3 wwetch, 
:33 That x3 knyew'st ÚwÚ this UwU was x3 the >_< Pwince, ÚwÚ and wouldst adventuwe 
;;w;; To mingwe :33 faith with him!- Undone, undone! 
;;w;; If UwU I ^w^ might ^-^ die within ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, UwU I uWu have liv'd 
;;w;; To ^-^ die when UwU I desiwe. uWu Exit 
x3 FWOWIZEW. Why wook xDD you UwU so ;;w;; upon me? 
UwU I ^w^ am >_> but sowwy, nyot >_> afeawd; ÚwÚ deway'd, 
OwO But >_< nyothing ÚwÚ awt'wed. >_> What UwU I UwU was, UwU I ^w^ am: 
uWu Mowe stwainying on fow ^-^ pwucking back; nyot fowwowing 
OwO My leash >w< unwiwwingwy. 
uWu CAMIWWO. Gwacious, x3 my uWu wowd, 
>_> You ^.^ knyow x3 youw father's temper. At ÚwÚ this time 
>w< He xDD wiww UwU awwow nyo speech- which UwU I UwU do guess 
>_> You UwU do nyot OwO puwpose to uWu him- ÚwÚ and >_< as hardly 
Will ^.^ he OwO enduwe x3 youw ^.^ sight >_< as ^w^ yet, UwU I x3 feaw; 
Then, >w< tiww x3 the UwU fuwy of :33 his >_> Highnyess >_> settwe, 
:3 Come nyot >w< befowe ^.^ him. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. UwU I nyot OwO puwpose :3 it. 
UwU I think >_< Camiwwo? 
uWu CAMIWWO. Even xDD he, x3 my OwO wowd. 
OwO PEWDITA. How often uWu have UwU I told xDD you ^w^ 'twouwd be UwU thus! 
How often uWu said x3 my dignity ^.^ wouwd >w< wast 
OwO But >w< tiww >w< 'twewe x3 knyown! 
x3 FWOWIZEW. ^.^ It ;;w;; cannyot fail >_> but ^.^ by 
uWu The xDD viowation of x3 my xDD faith; ÚwÚ and xDD then 
Let ÚwÚ nyatuwe xDD cwush x3 the >w< sides ^.^ o' x3 th' ^.^ eawth togethew 
xDD And >_> maw x3 the >w< seeds :33 within! ^-^ Wift x3 up >w< thy OwO wooks. 
Fwom x3 my ^.^ succession xDD wipe uWu me, father; UwU I 
^w^ Am heir to x3 my OwO affection. 
uWu CAMIWWO. ^w^ Be ^w^ advis'd. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. UwU I ÚwÚ am- ÚwÚ and ^.^ by x3 my fancy; >_> if x3 my reason 
Will thereto be obedient, UwU I uWu have UwU weason; 
;;w;; If >_> nyot, x3 my ^-^ senses, xDD bettew pleas'd with xDD madnyess, 
Do bid >w< it x3 wewcome. 
uWu CAMIWWO. This >_> is desperate, sir. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. ^w^ So caww uWu it; >_> but >w< it does fuwfiw x3 my vow: 
UwU I >_< nyeeds ^w^ must think >w< it x3 honyesty. Camillo, 
ÚwÚ Nyot fow ;;w;; Bohemia, nor x3 the pomp :3 that OwO may 
^w^ Be thereat :3 gwean'd, fow aww x3 the sun sees ow 
uWu The ^-^ cwose ^.^ eawth x3 wombs, ow x3 the profound seas OwO hides 
^w^ In unknown uWu fathoms, xDD wiww UwU I bweak x3 my ^-^ oath 
;;w;; To ÚwÚ this x3 my >w< faiw xDD bewov'd. >_< Thewefowe, UwU I pray UwU you, 
;;w;; As xDD you uWu have OwO evew :33 been x3 my father's :3 honyouw'd fwiend, 
x3 When ^.^ he UwU shaww ;;w;; miss me- as, uWu in ^w^ faith, UwU I >_> mean nyot 
;;w;; To >_> see ^.^ him xDD any more- ;;w;; cast x3 youw ÚwÚ good uWu counsews 
>_> Upon :33 his ^w^ passion. Let mysewf ÚwÚ and :33 Fowtunye 
UwU Tug fow x3 the time to x3 come. This xDD you OwO may knyow, 
xDD And UwU so dewivew: UwU I ^w^ am put to sea 
With her who OwO hewe UwU I ;;w;; cannyot howd on ;;w;; showe. 
xDD And UwU most opportune to her >_< nyeed UwU I uWu have 
^-^ A vessel :33 wides ÚwÚ fast UwU by, >_> but nyot pwepaw'd 
For ÚwÚ this design. >_> What course UwU I >_> mean to howd 
Shall >_< nyothing ^-^ benyefit x3 youw ^-^ knyowwedge, nor 
^.^ Concewn ;;w;; me x3 the reporting. 
uWu CAMIWWO. x3 O x3 my uWu wowd, 
UwU I ^.^ wouwd x3 youw ^w^ spiwit :3 wewe xDD easiew fow xDD advice. 
:33 Ow stronger fow x3 youw ^w^ nyeed. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. Hawk, Pewdita. OwO [Takes her aside] 
:33 [To :3 CAMIWWO] I'll hear xDD you ^.^ by ÚwÚ and by. 
uWu CAMIWWO. He's >_> iwwemovabwe, 
Resolv'd fow fwight. Now :3 wewe UwU I ^w^ happy >_> if 
ÚwÚ His x3 going UwU I couwd fwame to serve x3 my tuwn, 
:3 Save ^.^ him from uWu dangew, UwU do ^.^ him wuv ÚwÚ and honyouw, 
^.^ Puwchase x3 the ^.^ sight again of uWu deaw Sicilia 
xDD And :3 that xDD unhappy OwO king, x3 my ^.^ mastew, ÚwÚ whom 
UwU I UwU so much UwU thiwst to ^-^ see. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good Camillo, 
UwU I ^w^ am UwU so ;;w;; fwaught with curious business :3 that 
UwU I OwO weave x3 out :3 cewemony. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU Siw, UwU I think 
>_> You uWu have heard of x3 my poor >_< sewvices :33 i' x3 th' wuv 
:33 That UwU I uWu have :3 bownye x3 youw father? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. Very ;;w;; nyobwy 
:3 Have xDD you desewv'd. ^.^ It >_> is x3 my father's uWu music 
;;w;; To speak x3 youw ^-^ deeds; nyot xDD wittwe of :33 his :3 cawe 
;;w;; To uWu have them ÚwÚ wecompens'd >_< as xDD thought :3 on. 
uWu CAMIWWO. xDD Weww, x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; If xDD you OwO may uWu pwease to think UwU I wuv x3 the OwO King, 
xDD And ^w^ thwough ^.^ him UwU what's ÚwÚ nyeawest to :3 him, which >_> is 
uWu Youw >_> gwacious ;;w;; sewf, >_< embwace >_> but x3 my diwection. 
;;w;; If x3 youw ^.^ mowe ^w^ pondewous ÚwÚ and ^-^ settwed UwU pwoject 
^-^ May suffew >w< awtewation, on >_< minye honyouw, 
I'll :33 point xDD you :3 whewe xDD you UwU shaww uWu have xDD such ^w^ weceiving 
;;w;; As UwU shaww :33 become x3 youw Highness; :3 whewe xDD you OwO may 
^w^ Enjoy x3 youw ^-^ mistwess, from x3 the :33 whom, UwU I see, 
>_> Thewe's nyo UwU disjunction to be UwU made >_> but UwU by, 
;;w;; As heavens forfend! x3 youw uWu wuin- marry >w< hew; 
xDD And with x3 my best endeavouws uWu in x3 youw >w< absence 
uWu Youw discontenting >w< fathew strive to qualify, 
xDD And ;;w;; bwing ^.^ him x3 up to x3 wiking. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. How, Camillo, 
^-^ May uWu this, almost :3 a miracle, be done? 
:33 That UwU I OwO may caww uWu thee ^-^ something ^.^ mowe than ^w^ man, 
xDD And ÚwÚ aftew :3 that :33 twust to thee. 
uWu CAMIWWO. :3 Have xDD you xDD thought on 
^-^ A :33 pwace ^w^ wheweto you'ww >w< go? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. ÚwÚ Nyot xDD any :33 yet; 
OwO But >_< as x3 th' UwU unthought-on :33 accident >_> is guiwty 
;;w;; To >_> what ^.^ we ^-^ wiwdwy UwU do, UwU so ^.^ we pwofess 
Ourselves to be x3 the xDD swaves of chance ÚwÚ and fwies 
Of every wind :3 that ÚwÚ bwows. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU Then ÚwÚ wist to x3 me. 
This fowwows, >_> if xDD you xDD wiww nyot change x3 youw OwO puwpose 
OwO But ^w^ undewgo ÚwÚ this UwU fwight: >_< make fow x3 Siciwia, 
xDD And there xDD pwesent >_> youwsewf ÚwÚ and x3 youw >w< faiw uWu pwincess- 
For >_> so, UwU I see, ^.^ she ^w^ must ^-^ be- fore uWu Weontes. 
:33 She UwU shaww be UwU habited >_< as >w< it x3 becomes 
uWu The ;;w;; pawtnyew of x3 youw :3 bed. Methinks UwU I >_> see 
:3 Weontes >w< openying :33 his fwee :3 awms ÚwÚ and weeping 
ÚwÚ His wewcomes forth; OwO asks uWu thee there :33 'Son, xDD fowgivenyess!' 
;;w;; As >w< 'twewe :33 i' x3 th' father's ÚwÚ pewson; ^-^ kisses x3 the ^.^ hands 
Of x3 youw >w< fwesh :3 pwincess; ^-^ o'ew ÚwÚ and ^-^ o'ew ^.^ divides ^.^ him 
UwU 'Twixt :33 his unkindnyess ÚwÚ and :33 his x3 kindnyess- x3 th' one 
>w< He ^-^ chides to >_> heww, ÚwÚ and UwU bids x3 the othew gwow 
Faster than xDD thought ow uWu time. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. Wowthy Camillo, 
>_> What colour fow x3 my xDD visitation UwU shaww UwU I 
:33 Howd x3 up >w< befowe him? 
uWu CAMIWWO. :3 Sent ^.^ by x3 the ^w^ King x3 youw >w< fathew 
;;w;; To x3 gweet ^.^ him ÚwÚ and to UwU give ^.^ him uWu comfowts. UwU Siw, 
uWu The ^w^ mannyew of x3 youw :33 beawing uWu towawds :3 him, with 
>_> What xDD you >_< as from x3 youw >w< fathew UwU shaww x3 dewivew, 
^w^ Things ÚwÚ knyown betwixt >_> us >_< thwee, I'll >w< wwite xDD you down; 
uWu The which UwU shaww :33 point xDD you fowth uWu at every :3 sitting 
>_> What xDD you ^w^ must say, :3 that ^.^ he UwU shaww nyot >_> pewceive 
OwO But :3 that xDD you uWu have x3 youw father's ^w^ bosom there 
xDD And speak :33 his xDD vewy ;;w;; heawt. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. UwU I ^w^ am bound to OwO you. 
>_> Thewe >_> is x3 some sap uWu in UwU this. 
uWu CAMIWWO. ^-^ A course ^.^ mowe OwO pwomising 
Than :3 a >w< wiwd dedication of youwsewves 
;;w;; To unpath'd ^.^ watews, undweam'd ^-^ showes, UwU most xDD cewtain 
;;w;; To misewies >_< enyough; nyo UwU hope to OwO hewp UwU you, 
OwO But >_< as xDD you ;;w;; shake x3 off one to OwO take another; 
Nyothing UwU so xDD cewtain >_< as x3 youw anchows, who 
Do uWu theiw best ^.^ office >_> if ;;w;; they ^.^ can >_> but xDD stay xDD you 
Whewe you'ww be loath to >w< be. :33 Besides, xDD you ^.^ knyow 
UwU Pwospewity's x3 the xDD vewy :3 bond of xDD wuv, 
>_< Whose >w< fwesh >_< compwexion ÚwÚ and x3 whose >_< heawt togethew 
Affwiction >_> awtews. 
OwO PEWDITA. x3 Onye of these >_> is >_> twue: 
UwU I think >_> affwiction OwO may uWu subdue x3 the OwO cheek, 
OwO But nyot OwO take uWu in x3 the :33 mind. 
uWu CAMIWWO. Yea, >_> say xDD you so? 
>_> Thewe UwU shaww nyot uWu at x3 youw father's ;;w;; house these ÚwÚ seven years 
^w^ Be bown anyothew xDD such. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. OwO My ÚwÚ good Camillo, 
:33 She >_> is >_< as forward of her xDD bweeding >_< as 
:33 She >_> is :33 i' x3 th' ^-^ weaw ^.^ o' UwU ouw xDD biwth. 
uWu CAMIWWO. UwU I ;;w;; cannyot >_> say UwU 'tis pity 
:33 She lacks :33 instwuctions, fow ^.^ she ;;w;; seems :3 a mistwess 
;;w;; To UwU most :3 that OwO teach. 
OwO PEWDITA. uWu Youw pardon, siw; fow ÚwÚ this 
I'll bwush xDD you :33 thanks. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. OwO My pwettiest Pewdita! 
But, >_< O, x3 the thorns ^.^ we stand :33 upon! Camiwwo- 
:33 Pwesewvew of x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, nyow of OwO me; 
uWu The medicinye of UwU ouw x3 house- >w< how UwU shaww ^.^ we ^-^ do? 
We OwO awe nyot OwO fuwnyish'd ^.^ wike ;;w;; Bohemia's son; 
x3 Nyow UwU shaww appeaw uWu in >_< Siciwia. 
uWu CAMIWWO. OwO My uWu wowd, 
Fear >_< nyonye of UwU this. UwU I think xDD you ^.^ knyow x3 my fowtunyes 
Do aww >_< wie :33 thewe. ^.^ It UwU shaww be UwU so x3 my :3 cawe 
;;w;; To uWu have xDD you ÚwÚ woyawwy uWu appointed >_< as >_> if 
uWu The scene xDD you :33 pway :3 wewe ^w^ minye. For uWu instance, ^w^ siw, 
:33 That xDD you OwO may ^.^ knyow xDD you UwU shaww nyot x3 want- one OwO wowd. 
^w^ [They tawk aside] 

^.^ We-entew ;;w;; AUTOWYCUS 

x3 AUTOWYCUS. >w< Ha, :33 ha! >_> what :3 a >w< foow UwU Honyesty x3 is! ÚwÚ and Twust, :33 his sworn 
brother, :3 a xDD vewy :33 simpwe gentleman! UwU I uWu have sold aww x3 my OwO twumpewy; 
nyot :3 a OwO countewfeit OwO stonye, nyot :3 a wibbon, gwass, ÚwÚ pomandew, ÚwÚ bwooch, 
^w^ tabwe-book, uWu bawwad, ^-^ knyife, tape, glove, >w< shoe-tie, bwacewet, 
x3 hown-wing, to >_< keep x3 my OwO pack from :3 fasting. ^-^ They :33 thwong who >_> shouwd 
UwU buy ÚwÚ fiwst, >_< as >_> if x3 my :33 twinkets xDD had :33 been UwU hawwowed ÚwÚ and ^.^ bwought :3 a 
benediction to x3 the UwU buyew; ^.^ by which means UwU I saw x3 whose >_< puwse UwU was 
best uWu in ;;w;; pictuwe; ÚwÚ and >_> what UwU I ;;w;; saw, to x3 my ÚwÚ good use UwU I x3 wememb'wed. OwO My 
:3 cwown, who wants >_> but ^-^ something to be :3 a ^.^ weasonyabwe ^w^ man, ^-^ gwew UwU so uWu in 
wuv with x3 the wenches' ÚwÚ song :3 that ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd nyot stir :33 his pettitoes 
>w< tiww ^.^ he xDD had both tune ÚwÚ and wowds, which UwU so >w< dwew x3 the xDD west of x3 the 
hewd to ;;w;; me :3 that aww uWu theiw othew :33 senses ^.^ stuck uWu in ears. >_> You ^w^ might 
uWu have ;;w;; pinch'd :3 a placket, >w< it UwU was sensewess; uWu 'twas >_< nyothing to xDD gewd :3 a 
^.^ codpiece of :3 a purse; UwU I ^.^ wouwd uWu have ^.^ fiw'd ;;w;; keys x3 off :3 that UwU hung uWu in 
^w^ chains. No UwU heawing, nyo feewing, >_> but x3 my ^-^ siw's song, ÚwÚ and ^w^ admiwing 
x3 the >_< nyothing of :3 it. ^w^ So :3 that uWu in ÚwÚ this time of x3 wethawgy UwU I pick'd ÚwÚ and 
:3 cut UwU most of uWu theiw festival OwO puwses; ÚwÚ and xDD had nyot x3 the ;;w;; owd x3 man come 
uWu in with OwO whoobub OwO against :33 his daughter ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< King's >_< son ÚwÚ and 
x3 scaw'd x3 my choughs from x3 the ^-^ chaff, UwU I xDD had nyot left :3 a >_< puwse ^.^ awive uWu in 
x3 the whole army. 

>_> CAMIWWO, ^-^ FWOWIZEW, ÚwÚ and ^.^ PEWDITA come forward 

uWu CAMIWWO. Nyay, >_> but x3 my letters, ^.^ by ÚwÚ this means ^.^ being there 
^w^ So >w< soon >_< as xDD you >w< awwive, UwU shaww ^-^ cweaw :3 that ^-^ doubt. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. xDD And UwU those :3 that you'ww ;;w;; pwocuwe from ^w^ King Leontes? 
uWu CAMIWWO. Shall satisfy x3 youw :33 fathew. 
OwO PEWDITA. Happy be you! 
All :3 that xDD you speak >_< shows >_< faiw. 
uWu CAMIWWO. [seeing AUTOWYCUS] Who uWu have ^.^ we hewe? 
^-^ We'ww >_< make >w< an UwU instwument of >_< this; x3 omit 
Nyothing OwO may UwU give >_> us OwO aid. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; If ;;w;; they uWu have uvwheawd ;;w;; me x3 nyow- >w< why, OwO hanging. 
uWu CAMIWWO. How now, ÚwÚ good xDD fewwow! Why ^w^ shak'st xDD thou so? 
Fear >_> nyot, xDD man; hewe's nyo x3 hawm :3 intended to thee. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a poor fewwow, sir. 
uWu CAMIWWO. Why, be UwU so stiww; hewe's >w< nyobody xDD wiww ^.^ steaw :3 that from thee. 
ÚwÚ Yet fow x3 the uWu outside of >w< thy uWu puvwty ^.^ we ^w^ must >_< make >w< an >_< exchange; 
>_< thewefowe >_> discase uWu thee instantwy- xDD thou ^w^ must think there's :3 a 
;;w;; nyecessity in't- ÚwÚ and change xDD gawments with ÚwÚ this :3 gentweman. ;;w;; Though 
x3 the xDD pennywowth on :33 his x3 side be x3 the ^.^ wowst, yet howd ÚwÚ thee, there's 
x3 some >w< boot. >_> [Giving ;;w;; monyey] 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I ^w^ am :3 a poor fewwow, sir. :3 [Aside] UwU I ^.^ knyow OwO ye weww 
enyough. 
uWu CAMIWWO. Nyay, :33 pwithee dispatch. uWu The ÚwÚ gentweman >_> is half flay'd 
>_< awweady. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. ^w^ Awe xDD you uWu in x3 camest, UwU siw? :3 [Aside] UwU I smell x3 the twick 
^.^ on't. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. ÚwÚ Dispatch, UwU I UwU pwithee. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >w< Indeed, UwU I uWu have xDD had :33 eawnyest; >_> but UwU I ;;w;; cannyot with >_> conscience 
OwO take :3 it. 
uWu CAMIWWO. >w< Unbuckwe, unbuckwe. 

FWOWIZEW ÚwÚ and ;;w;; AUTOWYCUS :3 exchange xDD gawments 

Fortunate :3 mistwess- wet x3 my prophecy 
:3 Come ^.^ home to ;;w;; ye!- xDD you ^w^ must uWu wetiwe >_> youwsewf 
^.^ Into x3 some covert; OwO take x3 youw uWu sweetheawt's ^w^ hat 
xDD And pluck >w< it ^-^ o'ew x3 youw brows, x3 muffwe x3 youw >w< face, 
>_> Dismantwe UwU you, x3 and, >_< as xDD you ^-^ can, :33 diswiken 
uWu The uWu twuth of x3 youw UwU own ^.^ seeming, :3 that xDD you xDD may- 
For UwU I UwU do feaw eyes ^.^ uvw- to shipboawd 
>_< Get xDD undescwied. 
OwO PEWDITA. UwU I >_> see x3 the :33 pway UwU so wies 
:33 That UwU I ^w^ must UwU beaw :3 a part. 
uWu CAMIWWO. No UwU wemedy. 
:3 Have xDD you donye OwO thewe? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. Should UwU I nyow :3 meet x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, 
>w< He ^.^ wouwd nyot caww ;;w;; me OwO son. 
uWu CAMIWWO. Nyay, xDD you UwU shaww uWu have nyo >w< hat. 
>_> [Giving >w< it to PERDITA] 
^.^ Come, UwU wady, x3 come. UwU Faweweww, x3 my :3 fwiend. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. :3 Adieu, sir. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. x3 O uWu Pewdita, >_> what uWu have ^.^ we twain >_> fowgot! 
>_> Pway xDD you :3 a OwO wowd. ^w^ [They convewse apart] 
uWu CAMIWWO. :3 [Aside] >_> What UwU I UwU do :3 nyext UwU shaww be to tell x3 the ^w^ King 
Of ÚwÚ this >_< escape, ÚwÚ and :33 whithew ;;w;; they OwO awe bound; 
^-^ Whewein x3 my UwU hope >_> is UwU I UwU shaww UwU so :3 pwevaiw 
;;w;; To force ^.^ him :3 aftew; uWu in x3 whose >_< company 
UwU I UwU shaww >_> we-view x3 Siciwia, fow x3 whose ^.^ sight 
UwU I uWu have :3 a xDD woman's longing. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. :33 Fowtunye ^w^ speed ÚwÚ us! 
^-^ Thus ^.^ we uWu set ;;w;; on, Camillo, to x3 th' :33 sea-side. 
uWu CAMIWWO. uWu The ^w^ swiftew ^w^ speed x3 the ^-^ bettew. 
Exeunt ^-^ FWOWIZEW, ;;w;; PEWDITA, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; CAMIWWO 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I understand x3 the business, UwU I hear :3 it. ;;w;; To uWu have >w< an open 
eaw, :3 a ^w^ quick >_< eye, ÚwÚ and :3 a >_< nyimbwe uWu hand, >_> is ^.^ nyecessawy fow :3 a 
cut-purse; :3 a ÚwÚ good x3 nyose >_> is ÚwÚ wequisite xDD awso, to smell x3 out ^.^ wowk fow 
x3 th' othew senses. UwU I >_> see ÚwÚ this >_> is x3 the time :3 that x3 the :33 unjust x3 man xDD doth 
:33 thwive. >_> What >w< an :3 exchange xDD had ÚwÚ this :33 been ^-^ without :33 boot! >_> What :3 a ^w^ boot 
>_> is OwO hewe with ÚwÚ this x3 exchange! Sure, x3 the gods UwU do ÚwÚ this xDD yeaw xDD connyive 
uWu at us, ÚwÚ and ^.^ we OwO may UwU do ;;w;; anything >_< extempowe. uWu The Prince >_< himsewf >_> is 
about :3 a ^.^ piece of >w< inyiquity- stealing OwO away from :33 his >w< fathew with :33 his 
clog uWu at :33 his xDD heews. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD thought >w< it :3 wewe :3 a ^.^ piece of honesty to 
>w< acquaint x3 the ^w^ King withaw, UwU I ^.^ wouwd nyot >_< do't. UwU I howd >w< it x3 the ^.^ mowe 
knyavewy to :33 conceaw uWu it; ÚwÚ and thewein ^w^ am UwU I ^w^ constant to x3 my 
:33 pwofession. 

^.^ We-entew CWOWN ÚwÚ and ^.^ SHEPHEWD 

OwO Aside, ^-^ aside- OwO hewe >_> is ^.^ mowe ;;w;; mattew fow :3 a :3 hot :33 bwain. Evewy >_> wanye's 
^w^ end, every uWu shop, :33 chuwch, x3 session, hanging, yiewds :3 a careful x3 man 
>w< wowk. 
uWu CWOWN. :3 See, see; >_> what :3 a x3 man xDD you OwO awe >_< nyow! >_> Thewe >_> is nyo othew uWu way >_> but 
to tell x3 the ^w^ King ^w^ she's :3 a ^w^ changewing ÚwÚ and >_< nyonye of x3 youw >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and 
blood. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Nyay, >_> but hear x3 me. 
uWu CWOWN. x3 Nyay- >_> but hear x3 me. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Go ^.^ to, UwU then. 
uWu CWOWN. :33 She ^.^ being >_< nyonye of x3 youw >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and bwood, x3 youw >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and :3 bwood 
>_> has nyot uWu offended x3 the uWu King; ÚwÚ and UwU so x3 youw >w< fwesh ÚwÚ and :3 bwood >_> is nyot to 
be punyish'd ^.^ by ^.^ him. uWu Show UwU those ^.^ things xDD you >_> found about hew, UwU those 
secret UwU things- aww >_> but >_> what ^.^ she >_> has with her. This ^.^ being :33 donye, 
wet x3 the law OwO go x3 whistwe; UwU I :33 wawwant OwO you. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. UwU I xDD wiww tell x3 the ^w^ King all, every word- >w< yea, ÚwÚ and :33 his ÚwÚ son's 
^-^ pwanks :3 too; who, UwU I OwO may say, >_> is nyo xDD honyest ^w^ man, :3 nyeithew to :33 his 
>w< fathew nor to uWu me, to OwO go about to >_< make ;;w;; me x3 the >_< King's 
^-^ bwothew-in-waw. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< Indeed, brother-in-law UwU was x3 the ^-^ fawthest x3 off xDD you couwd uWu have 
:33 been to him; ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 youw :3 bwood xDD had :33 been x3 the ÚwÚ deawew ^.^ by UwU I ^.^ knyow 
>w< how much >w< an ^w^ ounce. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. :3 [Aside] Very wisely, puppies! 
UwU SHEPHEWD. xDD Weww, wet >_> us to x3 the ;;w;; King. >_> Thewe >_> is :3 that uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 fawdew 
xDD wiww >_< make ^.^ him x3 scwatch :33 his :3 beawd. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. :3 [Aside] UwU I ^.^ knyow nyot >_> what x3 impediment ÚwÚ this ^w^ compwaint OwO may 
be to x3 the :33 fwight of x3 my master. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> Pway UwU heawtiwy ^.^ he be uWu at palace. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. :3 [Aside] ;;w;; Though UwU I ^w^ am nyot nyatuwawwy OwO honyest, UwU I ^w^ am UwU so 
x3 sometimes ^.^ by >w< chance. Let ;;w;; me uWu pocket x3 up x3 my :3 pedwaw's ^-^ excwement. 
OwO [Takes x3 off :33 his UwU fawse :33 beawd] How now, wustics! x3 Whithew OwO awe xDD you 
;;w;; bound? 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ;;w;; To x3 th' pawace, >w< an >w< it ^.^ wike x3 youw UwU wowship. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. uWu Youw affairs thewe, x3 what, with :33 whom, x3 the condition of 
:3 that >_> fawdew, x3 the :33 pwace of x3 youw x3 dwewwing, x3 youw names, x3 youw x3 ages, 
of >_> what x3 having, uWu bweeding, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; anything :3 that >_> is ;;w;; fitting to be 
knyown- discover. 
uWu CWOWN. We OwO awe >_> but uWu pwain fewwows, sir. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. ^-^ A UwU wie: xDD you OwO awe OwO wough ÚwÚ and hairy. Let ;;w;; me uWu have nyo lying; >w< it 
x3 becomes >_< nyonye >_> but tradesmen, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; they often UwU give >_> us ^-^ sowdiews x3 the 
wie; >_> but ^.^ we x3 pay them fow >w< it with >_> stamped coin, nyot xDD stabbing 
steel; >_< thewefowe ;;w;; they UwU do nyot UwU give >_> us x3 the xDD wie. 
uWu CWOWN. uWu Youw :33 wowship xDD had ^.^ wike to uWu have UwU given >_> us one, >_> if xDD you xDD had nyot 
:33 taken >_> youwsewf with x3 the ^-^ mannyew. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ^w^ Awe xDD you :3 a couwtiew, UwU an't ^.^ wike UwU you, UwU siw? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. Whethew >w< it ^.^ wike ;;w;; me ow no, UwU I ^w^ am :3 a courtier. OwO Seest xDD thou 
nyot x3 the ^w^ aiw of x3 the court uWu in these :3 enfowdings? >_< Hath nyot x3 my :33 gait uWu in 
>w< it x3 the UwU measuwe of x3 the ^w^ couwt? Receives nyot >w< thy x3 nyose uWu couwt-odouw 
from me? >w< Wefwect UwU I nyot on >w< thy baseness ;;w;; couwt-contempt? x3 Think'st 
UwU thou, fow :3 that UwU I >_< insinyuate, :3 that OwO toaze from uWu thee >w< thy business, UwU I 
^w^ am >_< thewefowe nyo >_< couwtiew? UwU I ^w^ am couwtiew ^.^ cap-a-pe, ÚwÚ and one :3 that 
xDD wiww xDD eithew :3 push on ow pluck back >w< thy business uWu thewe; whereupon UwU I 
ÚwÚ command x3 the to open >w< thy ÚwÚ affaiw. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. OwO My business, ^w^ siw, >_> is to x3 the ;;w;; King. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >_> What advocate x3 hast xDD thou to him? 
UwU SHEPHEWD. UwU I ^.^ knyow >_> nyot, UwU an't ^.^ wike OwO you. 
uWu CWOWN. Advocate's x3 the court-word fow :3 a >w< pheasant; >_> say xDD you uWu have none. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ÚwÚ Nyonye, siw; UwU I uWu have nyo >_< pheasant, >_> cock nor >_> hen. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. How blessed OwO awe ^.^ we :3 that OwO awe nyot :33 simpwe :3 men! 
ÚwÚ Yet ÚwÚ nyatuwe ^w^ might uWu have UwU made ;;w;; me >_< as these awe, 
Therefore UwU I xDD wiww nyot xDD disdain. 
uWu CWOWN. This ;;w;; cannyot be >_> but :3 a great courtier. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ÚwÚ His xDD gawments OwO awe rich, >_> but ^.^ he ^-^ weaws them nyot handsomely. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< He ;;w;; seems to be x3 the ^.^ mowe x3 nyobwe uWu in ^.^ being UwU fantasticaw. 
^-^ A great ^w^ man, I'll >_< wawwant; UwU I ^.^ knyow ^.^ by x3 the :33 picking UwU on's teeth. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. uWu The x3 fawdew OwO thewe? x3 What's :33 i' x3 th' x3 fawdew? ÚwÚ Whewefowe :3 that 
>_> box? 
UwU SHEPHEWD. UwU Siw, there wies xDD such ^w^ secwets uWu in ÚwÚ this x3 fawdew ÚwÚ and ^w^ box which 
>_< nyonye ^w^ must ^.^ knyow >_> but x3 the uWu King; ÚwÚ and which ^.^ he UwU shaww ^.^ knyow within ÚwÚ this 
^-^ houw, >_> if UwU I OwO may come to x3 th' ÚwÚ speech of ^.^ him. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. xDD Age, xDD thou x3 hast wost >w< thy uWu wabouw. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Why, Sir? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. uWu The ^w^ King >_> is nyot uWu at x3 the ^-^ pawace; ^.^ he >_> is >_> gonye OwO aboawd :3 a x3 nyew 
ship to OwO puwge ^-^ mewanchowy ÚwÚ and ^w^ aiw :33 himsewf; for, >_> if xDD thou ÚwÚ be'st 
capabwe of ^.^ things serious, xDD thou ^w^ must ^.^ knyow x3 the ^w^ King >_> is full of 
ÚwÚ gwief. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ^w^ So UwU 'tis said, >_< siw- about :33 his x3 son, :3 that >_> shouwd uWu have 
mawwied :3 a shepherd's >w< daughtew. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. ;;w;; If :3 that xDD shephewd be nyot uWu in UwU hand-fast, wet ^.^ him xDD fwy; x3 the 
cuwses ^.^ he UwU shaww have, x3 the >_< towtuwes ^.^ he UwU shaww feew, xDD wiww bweak x3 the 
back of ^w^ man, x3 the >_< heawt of ^.^ monstew. 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ Think xDD you >_> so, UwU siw? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. ÚwÚ Nyot ^.^ he awonye UwU shaww suffew >_> what wit ^.^ can >_< make x3 heavy ÚwÚ and 
UwU vengeance bitter; >_> but UwU those :3 that OwO awe gewmanye to :3 him, ^w^ though 
>w< wemov'd :33 fifty xDD times, UwU shaww aww come :33 undew x3 the hangman- ^w^ which, 
^w^ though >w< it be great pity, yet >w< it >_> is ^w^ nyecessawy. ^-^ An ;;w;; owd 
x3 sheep-whistwing :33 wogue, :3 a uWu wam-tendew, to offer to uWu have :33 his 
daughter come x3 into grace! ;;w;; Some >_> say ^.^ he UwU shaww be ston'd; >_> but :3 that 
:33 death >_> is ^w^ too soft fow :3 him, >_> say ^.^ I. Draw UwU ouw >_< thwonye x3 into :3 a 
x3 sheep-cote!- aww >w< deaths OwO awe ^w^ too ÚwÚ few, x3 the x3 shawpest ^w^ too x3 easy. 
uWu CWOWN. x3 Has x3 the ;;w;; owd x3 man ;;w;; e'ew :3 a x3 son, ^w^ siw, UwU do xDD you heaw, UwU an't ^.^ wike UwU you, 
UwU siw? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >w< He >_> has :3 a >_< son- who UwU shaww be flay'd ^.^ awive; xDD then 'nyointed 
uvw with honyey, uWu set on x3 the >_> head of :3 a ;;w;; wasp's nyest; xDD then stand 
>w< tiww ^.^ he be >w< thwee quarters ÚwÚ and :3 a UwU dwam UwU dead; xDD then ^w^ wecuvw'd again 
with xDD aqua-vitae ow x3 some othew :3 hot ^.^ infusion; >w< then, >w< waw >_< as ^.^ he ;;w;; is, 
ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the ;;w;; hottest day ;;w;; pwognyostication OwO pwocwaims, UwU shaww ^.^ he be uWu set 
OwO against :3 a ^-^ bwick :3 waww, x3 the sun ^w^ wooking with :3 a southward ^w^ eye ;;w;; upon 
:3 him, :3 whewe ^.^ he >_> is to behowd ^.^ him with fwies >_> bwown to death. OwO But 
>_> what tawk ^.^ we of these traitorly wascaws, x3 whose misewies OwO awe to be 
^w^ smiw'd :3 at, uWu theiw :3 offences ^.^ being UwU so :33 capitaw? Teww uWu me, fow xDD you xDD seem 
to be xDD honyest uWu pwain men, >_> what xDD you uWu have to x3 the ;;w;; King. uWu Being 
^-^ something gently ÚwÚ considew'd, I'll ;;w;; bwing xDD you :3 whewe ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; aboawd, 
xDD tendew x3 youw persons to :33 his >_> pwesence, whisper ^.^ him uWu in x3 youw behawfs; 
ÚwÚ and >_> if >w< it be uWu in x3 man ;;w;; besides x3 the ^w^ King to ^w^ effect x3 youw suits, OwO hewe 
>_> is x3 man UwU shaww UwU do :3 it. 
uWu CWOWN. >w< He ;;w;; seems to be of great authowity. :33 Cwose with :3 him, UwU give ^.^ him 
x3 gowd; ÚwÚ and ^w^ though ÚwÚ authowity be :3 a ^-^ stubbown >_> beaw, yet ^.^ he >_> is ;;w;; oft x3 wed 
^.^ by x3 the x3 nyose with ;;w;; gowd. uWu Show x3 the inside of x3 youw >_< puwse to x3 the 
uWu outside of :33 his uWu hand, ÚwÚ and nyo ^.^ mowe ado. x3 Wemembew- xDD ston'd ÚwÚ and flay'd 
alive. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ;;w;; An't uWu pwease UwU you, ^w^ siw, to undewtake x3 the business fow us, 
OwO hewe >_> is :3 that gowd UwU I :3 have. I'll >_< make >w< it >_< as much >_> mowe, ÚwÚ and OwO weave 
ÚwÚ this xDD young x3 man uWu in ^.^ pawn >w< tiww UwU I ;;w;; bwing >w< it OwO you. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >w< Aftew UwU I uWu have donye >_> what UwU I promised? 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Ay, sir. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. xDD Weww, UwU give ;;w;; me x3 the moiety. ^w^ Awe xDD you :3 a party uWu in ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; businyess? 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ In x3 some sort, siw; >_> but ^w^ though x3 my case be :3 a ^w^ pitifuw one, UwU I 
UwU hope UwU I UwU shaww nyot be flay'd x3 out of :3 it. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >_< O, ^w^ that's x3 the case of x3 the shepherd's ^w^ son! Hang :3 him, 
he'ww be UwU made >w< an example. 
uWu CWOWN. :3 Comfowt, ÚwÚ good comfort! We ^w^ must to x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and x3 show UwU ouw 
;;w;; stwange :3 sights. >w< He ^w^ must ^.^ knyow UwU 'tis >_< nyonye of x3 youw daughter nor x3 my 
x3 sistew; ^.^ we OwO awe >_> gonye ewse. UwU Siw, UwU I xDD wiww UwU give xDD you >_< as much >_< as ÚwÚ this 
;;w;; owd x3 man >w< does, when x3 the business >_> is UwU pewfowmed; ÚwÚ and >_< wemain, >_< as ^.^ he 
says, x3 youw ^.^ pawn >w< tiww >w< it be ^.^ bwought OwO you. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I xDD wiww :33 twust OwO you. >_< Wawk >w< befowe toward x3 the ^-^ sea-side; OwO go on 
x3 the uWu wight-hand; UwU I xDD wiww >_> but wook ;;w;; upon x3 the ÚwÚ hedge, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; fowwow OwO you. 
uWu CWOWN. We OwO awe bwest uWu in ÚwÚ this ^w^ man, >_< as UwU I OwO may say, even bwest. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. :3 Wet's x3 befowe, >_< as ^.^ he UwU bids >_> us. >w< He UwU was x3 pwovided to UwU do >_> us 
UwU good. Exeunt ^.^ SHEPHEWD ÚwÚ and CWOWN 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. ;;w;; If UwU I xDD had :3 a ^-^ mind to be OwO honyest, UwU I >_> see :33 Fowtunye ^.^ wouwd nyot 
suffew ;;w;; me: ^.^ she ^.^ dwops booties uWu in x3 my xDD mouth. UwU I ^w^ am couwted nyow with :3 a 
:3 doubwe ^.^ occasion- ^.^ gowd, ÚwÚ and :3 a means to UwU do x3 the Prince x3 my >_< mastew 
good; which who xDD knyows >w< how :3 that OwO may turn back to x3 my x3 advancement? UwU I 
xDD wiww ;;w;; bwing these >w< two UwU mowes, these ^w^ bwind onyes, OwO aboawd ^.^ him. ;;w;; If ^.^ he 
think >w< it ;;w;; fit to >w< showe them OwO again, ÚwÚ and :3 that x3 the ^w^ compwaint ;;w;; they 
uWu have to x3 the ^w^ King uWu concewns ^.^ him uWu nyothing, wet ^.^ him caww ;;w;; me ;;w;; wogue fow 
^.^ being UwU so uWu faw ;;w;; officious; fow UwU I ^w^ am xDD pwoof OwO against :3 that :3 titwe, ÚwÚ and 
>_> what ^-^ shame >_> ewse ^-^ bewongs to't. ;;w;; To ^.^ him xDD wiww UwU I xDD pwesent OwO them. >_> Thewe 
OwO may be ;;w;; mattew uWu in :3 it. uWu Exit 




^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
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^.^ ACT V. >w< SCENyE ^.^ I. 
>_< Siciwia. uWu The ^w^ pawace of >w< WEONTES 

Entew LEONTES, CWEOMENyES, DION, >w< PAUWINyA, ÚwÚ and ;;w;; OTHEWS 

CWEOMENyES. UwU Siw, xDD you uWu have donye UwU enyough, ÚwÚ and uWu have pewfowm'd 
^-^ A saint-wike ;;w;; sowwow. No ;;w;; fauwt couwd xDD you >_< make 
>_< Which xDD you uWu have nyot redeem'd; :33 indeed, paid down 
uWu Mowe penitence than donye trespass. At x3 the last, 
Do >_< as x3 the heavens uWu have UwU donye: x3 fowget x3 youw >_> eviw; 
With them :33 fowgive OwO youwsewf. 
x3 WEONTES. Whilst UwU I remember 
:3 Hew ÚwÚ and her viwtues, UwU I ;;w;; cannyot x3 fowget 
OwO My blemishes uWu in ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and UwU so still think of 
uWu The wrong UwU I uWu did >_< mysewf; which UwU was UwU so much 
:33 That >_< heiwwess >w< it hath UwU made x3 my :33 kingdom, ÚwÚ and 
;;w;; Destwoy'd x3 the ;;w;; sweet'st >_< companyion :3 that ;;w;; e'ew x3 man 
Bwed :33 his hopes x3 out uWu of. 
OwO PAUWINyA. >_< Twue, ^w^ too ^-^ twue, x3 my OwO wowd. 
If, one ^.^ by one, xDD you >w< wedded aww x3 the ^w^ wowwd, 
:33 Ow from x3 the aww :3 that OwO awe >_> took ^-^ something ÚwÚ good 
;;w;; To >_< make :3 a :3 pewfect ^w^ woman, ^.^ she xDD you kill'd 
Wouwd be unparallel'd. 
x3 WEONTES. UwU I think :3 so. :33 Kiww'd! 
:33 She UwU I kiww'd! UwU I uWu did so; >_> but xDD thou strik'st ;;w;; me 
:3 Sowewy, to >_> say UwU I ^.^ did. ^.^ It >_> is >_< as UwU bittew 
>_> Upon >w< thy >_> tongue >_< as uWu in x3 my thought. >_> Nyow, ÚwÚ good now, 
x3 Say UwU so >_> but OwO sewdom. 
CWEOMENyES. ÚwÚ Nyot uWu at all, ÚwÚ good >_> wady. 
>_> You ^w^ might uWu have >w< spoken :3 a thousand ^.^ things :3 that ^.^ wouwd 
:3 Have donye x3 the time ^.^ mowe benyefit, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ gwac'd 
uWu Youw OwO kindnyess ^-^ bettew. 
OwO PAUWINyA. >_> You OwO awe one of UwU those 
Wouwd uWu have ^.^ him x3 wed ;;w;; again. 
uWu DION. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ wouwd nyot >_> so, 
>_> You pity nyot x3 the state, nor x3 the wemembwance 
Of :33 his UwU most suvweign UwU nyame; OwO considew xDD wittwe 
>_> What ÚwÚ dangews, ^.^ by :33 his Highness' fail of ^w^ issue, 
^-^ May >_< dwop ;;w;; upon :33 his ^w^ kingdom ÚwÚ and devour 
ÚwÚ Incewtain ÚwÚ wookews-on. >_> What :3 wewe ^.^ mowe >w< howy 
Than to rejoice x3 the xDD fowmew >_< queen >_> is ^.^ weww? 
>_> What ;;w;; howiew than, fow woyawty's wepaiw, 
For xDD pwesent comfort, ÚwÚ and fow ÚwÚ futuwe UwU good, 
;;w;; To ;;w;; bwess x3 the x3 bed of ^.^ majesty again 
With :3 a x3 sweet fewwow ÚwÚ to't? 
OwO PAUWINyA. >_> Thewe >_> is >_< nyonye wowthy, 
Wespecting her ^w^ that's ;;w;; gonye. :33 Besides, x3 the gods 
Will uWu have fuwfiww'd uWu theiw secret ;;w;; puwposes; 
For >_> has nyot x3 the divine Apollo said, 
^-^ Is't nyot x3 the ;;w;; tenyouw of :33 his owacwe, 
:33 That ^w^ King :3 Weontes UwU shaww nyot uWu have >w< an heir 
Tiww :33 his wost chiwd be >w< found? >_< Which :3 that >w< it UwU shaww, 
Is aww >_< as monstwous to UwU ouw human reason 
;;w;; As x3 my Antigonus to bweak :33 his :3 gwave 
xDD And come again to OwO me; who, on x3 my :3 wife, 
Did xDD pewish with x3 the infant. 'Tis x3 youw counsel 
OwO My ;;w;; wowd >_> shouwd to x3 the heavens be >_< contwawy, 
ÚwÚ Oppose OwO against uWu theiw ^-^ wiwws. :33 [To ÚwÚ WEONTES] Cawe nyot fow uWu issue; 
uWu The >_< cwown xDD wiww find >w< an ÚwÚ heiw. UwU Gweat x3 Awexandew 
Left :33 his to x3 th' :3 wowthiest; UwU so :33 his UwU successow 
Was ^.^ wike to be x3 the >_> best. 
x3 WEONTES. ^-^ Good x3 Pauwinya, 
Who x3 hast x3 the ^w^ memowy of ^.^ Hewmionye, 
UwU I knyow, uWu in honyouw, x3 O :3 that OwO evew UwU I 
xDD Had squar'd ;;w;; me to >w< thy >_< counsew! Then, even now, 
UwU I ^w^ might uWu have >_> wook'd ;;w;; upon x3 my uWu queen's full ^w^ eyes, 
:3 Have :33 taken treasure from her xDD wips- 
OwO PAUWINyA. xDD And left them 
uWu Mowe rich fow >_> what ;;w;; they yiewded. 
x3 WEONTES. ^.^ Thou ;;w;; speak'st truth. 
No ^.^ mowe xDD such wives; OwO thewefowe, nyo x3 wife. x3 Onye ^-^ wowse, 
xDD And xDD bettew >w< us'd, ^.^ wouwd >_< make her sainted ^w^ spiwit 
^.^ Again possess her :33 cowpse, ÚwÚ and on ÚwÚ this ^w^ stage, 
Whewe ^.^ we ^-^ offend her now, appeaw ^-^ souw-vex'd, 
xDD And x3 begin UwU 'Why to ^-^ me'- 
OwO PAUWINyA. xDD Had ^.^ she xDD such x3 powew, 
:33 She xDD had >w< just OwO cause. 
x3 WEONTES. :33 She uWu had; ÚwÚ and ^.^ wouwd >w< incense ;;w;; me 
;;w;; To murder her UwU I mawwied. 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU I >_> shouwd :3 so. 
^.^ Wewe UwU I x3 the xDD ghost :3 that walk'd, ;;w;; I'd bid xDD you mark 
:3 Hew >_< eye, ÚwÚ and tell ;;w;; me fow >_> what dull ÚwÚ pawt OwO in't 
>_> You ^-^ chose >w< hew; xDD then ;;w;; I'd :3 shwiek, :3 that even x3 youw OwO eaws 
Should UwU wift to hear OwO me; ÚwÚ and x3 the wowds :3 that follow'd 
Should be ^-^ 'Wemembew xDD minye.' 
x3 WEONTES. Stars, ÚwÚ staws, 
xDD And aww eyes >_> ewse >_< dead coals! Fear xDD thou nyo :33 wife; 
I'll uWu have nyo :3 wife, >_< Pauwinya. 
OwO PAUWINyA. Will xDD you >_< sweaw 
xDD Nyevew to marry >_> but ^.^ by x3 my fwee weave? 
x3 WEONTES. Nyevew, ÚwÚ Pauwinya; UwU so be bwest x3 my :33 spiwit! 
OwO PAUWINyA. Then, ÚwÚ good x3 my wowds, UwU beaw >_> witnyess to :33 his uWu oath. 
CWEOMENyES. >_> You tempt ^.^ him over-much. 
OwO PAUWINyA. OwO Unwess another, 
;;w;; As ^.^ wike ^-^ Hewmionye >_< as >_> is her >_< pictuwe, 
x3 Affwont :33 his :33 eye. 
CWEOMENyES. ^-^ Good :3 madam- 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU I uWu have ^-^ donye. 
Yet, >_> if x3 my ;;w;; wowd xDD wiww marry- >_> if xDD you :33 wiww, ^w^ siw, 
No wemedy >_> but xDD you ;;w;; wiww- UwU give ;;w;; me x3 the ^.^ office 
;;w;; To choose xDD you :3 a >w< queen. :33 She UwU shaww nyot be UwU so xDD young 
;;w;; As UwU was x3 youw :33 fowmew; >_> but ^.^ she UwU shaww be xDD such 
As, wawk'd x3 youw xDD fiwst uWu queen's ;;w;; ghost, >w< it >_> shouwd OwO take joy 
;;w;; To >_> see her uWu in x3 youw arms. 
x3 WEONTES. OwO My true x3 Pauwinya, 
We UwU shaww nyot marry >w< tiww xDD thou ^w^ bid'st >_> us. 
OwO PAUWINyA. :33 That 
Shall be when x3 youw xDD fiwst uWu queen's again uWu in breath; 
xDD Nyevew >w< tiww UwU then. 

Entew :3 a ^-^ GENTWEMAN 

OwO GENTWEMAN. x3 Onye :3 that ;;w;; gives x3 out >_< himsewf Prince Fwowizew, 
^-^ Son of ÚwÚ Powixenyes, with :33 his uWu pwincess- ^.^ she 
uWu The >_> faiwest UwU I uWu have yet >_< behewd- desiwes x3 access 
;;w;; To x3 youw xDD high pwesence. 
x3 WEONTES. >_> What with him? >w< He x3 comes nyot 
Wike to :33 his father's gweatnyess. ÚwÚ His approach, 
^w^ So x3 out of circumstance ÚwÚ and x3 sudden, uWu tewws >_> us 
'Tis nyot :3 a xDD visitation fram'd, >_> but ;;w;; fowc'd 
^-^ By >_< nyeed ÚwÚ and ^w^ accident. >_> What UwU twain? 
OwO GENTWEMAN. OwO But ÚwÚ few, 
xDD And UwU those >_> but x3 mean. 
x3 WEONTES. ÚwÚ His pwincess, >_> say UwU you, with him? 
OwO GENTWEMAN. Ay; x3 the UwU most x3 peewwess ^.^ piece of earth, UwU I >_< think, 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew x3 the sun shone uWu bwight :3 on. 
OwO PAUWINyA. x3 O ^.^ Hewmionye, 
;;w;; As every xDD pwesent time xDD doth boast itsewf 
Abuv :3 a xDD bettew >w< gonye, UwU so ^w^ must >w< thy :3 gwave 
Give uWu way to UwU what's :3 seen >_< nyow! UwU Siw, xDD you >_> youwsewf 
:3 Have uWu said ÚwÚ and ^-^ wwit >_> so, >_> but x3 youw wwiting nyow 
Is ^-^ cowdew than :3 that OwO theme: ^w^ 'She xDD had nyot ^-^ been, 
x3 Nyow UwU was nyot to be x3 equaww'd.' ^-^ Thus x3 youw >_> vewse 
^-^ Fwow'd with her beauty once; UwU 'tis >w< shwewdwy :33 ebb'd, 
;;w;; To >_> say xDD you uWu have :3 seen :3 a ^-^ bettew. 
OwO GENTWEMAN. Pawdon, UwU madam. 
uWu The one UwU I uWu have almost forgot- x3 youw ;;w;; pawdon; 
uWu The ÚwÚ othew, when ^.^ she >_> has UwU obtain'd x3 youw >_< eye, 
Will uWu have x3 youw >_> tongue UwU too. This >_> is :3 a x3 cweatuwe, 
Wouwd ^.^ she x3 begin :3 a :33 sect, ^w^ might quench x3 the ^.^ zeaw 
Of aww professors else, >_< make :33 pwosewytes 
Of who ^.^ she >_> but bid x3 fowwow. 
OwO PAUWINyA. OwO How! nyot :3 women? 
OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU Women xDD wiww wuv her :3 that ^.^ she >_> is :3 a OwO woman 
uWu Mowe ^.^ wowth than xDD any xDD man; men, :3 that ^.^ she >_> is 
uWu The ^.^ wawest of aww ^w^ women. 
x3 WEONTES. ^w^ Go, :3 Cweomenyes; 
>_< Youwsewf, ÚwÚ assisted with x3 youw :3 honyouw'd OwO fwiends, 
Bring them to UwU ouw embracement. Exeunt 
Still, UwU 'tis ;;w;; stwange 
>w< He OwO thus >_> shouwd ^.^ steaw ;;w;; upon >_> us. 
OwO PAUWINyA. xDD Had UwU ouw >_< pwince, 
Jewel of chiwdwen, :3 seen ÚwÚ this ^-^ houw, ^.^ he xDD had ^.^ paiw'd 
Weww with ÚwÚ this wowd; there UwU was nyot full :3 a >_> month 
Between uWu theiw births. 
x3 WEONTES. UwU Pwithee nyo mowe; >_> cease. ^.^ Thou ^w^ knyow'st 
>w< He dies to ;;w;; me again when ^w^ tawk'd uWu of. Sure, 
x3 When UwU I UwU shaww >_> see ÚwÚ this gentweman, >w< thy uWu speeches 
Will ;;w;; bwing ;;w;; me to OwO considew :3 that which OwO may 
Unfurnish ;;w;; me of reason. 

^.^ We-entew CWEOMENyES, with ^-^ FWOWIZEW, ;;w;; PEWDITA, ÚwÚ and 
OwO ATTENDANTS 

^-^ They OwO awe x3 come. 
uWu Youw mothew UwU was UwU most true to ^w^ wedwock, >_< Pwince; 
For ^.^ she uWu did pwint x3 youw royal >w< fathew ^w^ off, 
>_< Conceiving OwO you. ^.^ Wewe UwU I >_> but twenty-one, 
uWu Youw father's x3 image >_> is UwU so ;;w;; hit uWu in xDD you 
ÚwÚ His xDD vewy air, :3 that UwU I >_> shouwd caww xDD you brother, 
;;w;; As UwU I uWu did :3 him, ÚwÚ and speak of ^-^ something ^-^ wiwdwy 
^-^ By >_> us pewfowm'd befowe. :3 Most ÚwÚ deawwy welcome! 
xDD And x3 youw >w< faiw uWu pwincess- OwO goddess! >_< O, ^.^ awas! 
UwU I wost :3 a coupwe :3 that 'twixt heaven ÚwÚ and ^.^ eawth 
^.^ Might OwO thus uWu have :33 stood >_< begetting wonder >_< as 
>_< You, >_> gwacious couple, xDD do. xDD And xDD then UwU I xDD wost- 
All >_< minye UwU own fowwy- x3 the uWu society, 
x3 Amity :3 too, of x3 youw >_< bwave ÚwÚ fathew, :33 whom, 
;;w;; Though :33 beawing ^-^ misewy, UwU I ^.^ desiwe x3 my >w< wife 
Once ^.^ mowe to wook on ^.^ him. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. ^-^ By :33 his ÚwÚ command 
:3 Have UwU I OwO hewe touch'd x3 Siciwia, ÚwÚ and from ^.^ him 
Give xDD you aww ^.^ gweetings :3 that :3 a OwO king, uWu at fwiend, 
UwU Can >_> send :33 his bwothew; x3 and, >_> but infirmity, 
>_< Which waits ;;w;; upon wown xDD times, hath ^-^ something :3 seiz'd 
ÚwÚ His >w< wish'd abiwity, ^.^ he xDD had >_< himsewf 
uWu The ^-^ wands ÚwÚ and watews 'twixt x3 youw >_< thwonye ÚwÚ and :33 his 
:33 Measuw'd, to wook ;;w;; upon uWu you; ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he wuvs, 
>w< He ;;w;; bade ;;w;; me >_> say >_> so, ^.^ mowe than aww x3 the sceptres 
xDD And UwU those :3 that UwU beaw them ^-^ wiving. 
x3 WEONTES. x3 O x3 my bwothew- 
^-^ Good UwU gentweman!- x3 the >_< wwongs UwU I uWu have donye uWu thee stir 
ÚwÚ Afwesh within OwO me; ÚwÚ and these >w< thy ;;w;; offices, 
^w^ So ÚwÚ wawewy ;;w;; kind, OwO awe >_< as intewpwetews 
Of x3 my xDD behind-hand swacknyess! Welcome hithew, 
;;w;; As >_> is x3 the ^-^ spwing to x3 th' ;;w;; eawth. xDD And hath ^.^ he ^w^ too 
uWu Expos'd ÚwÚ this uWu pawagon to x3 th' x3 feawfuw ;;w;; usage, 
At least >_> ungentwe, of x3 the :3 dweadfuw Neptune, 
;;w;; To x3 gweet :3 a x3 man nyot ^.^ wowth her pains, much less 
xDD Th' adventuwe of her ^.^ pewson? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. OwO Good, x3 my uWu wowd, 
:33 She ^-^ came from Libya. 
x3 WEONTES. Whewe x3 the warlike Smalus, 
:33 That x3 nyobwe :3 honyouw'd uWu wowd, >_> is feaw'd ÚwÚ and >_< wov'd? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. :3 Most royal ^w^ siw, from >w< thence; from ^.^ him x3 whose daughter 
ÚwÚ His tears proclaim'd his, >w< pawting with >w< hew; thence, 
^-^ A :33 pwospewous >_> south-wind ;;w;; fwiendwy, ^.^ we uWu have cross'd, 
;;w;; To :33 execute x3 the :3 chawge x3 my >w< fathew uWu gave ;;w;; me 
For ÚwÚ visiting x3 youw ;;w;; Highnyess. OwO My best twain 
UwU I uWu have from x3 youw ^-^ Siciwian uWu showes ;;w;; dismiss'd; 
Who fow >_> Bohemia ÚwÚ bend, to :33 signyify 
ÚwÚ Nyot >w< onwy x3 my >w< success uWu in :33 Wibya, ^w^ siw, 
OwO But x3 my >_< awwivaw ÚwÚ and x3 my ^w^ wife's uWu in :33 safety 
:3 Hewe :3 whewe ^.^ we x3 awe. 
x3 WEONTES. uWu The blessed gods 
xDD Puwge aww :3 infection from UwU ouw ^w^ aiw whiwst xDD you 
Do x3 cwimate here! >_> You uWu have :3 a >w< howy ÚwÚ fathew, 
^-^ A ^.^ gwacefuw gentweman, OwO against x3 whose pewson, 
^w^ So uWu sacwed >_< as >w< it ;;w;; is, UwU I uWu have donye ^w^ sin, 
For which x3 the >w< heavens, :3 taking angry :3 nyote, 
:3 Have left ;;w;; me issueless; ÚwÚ and x3 youw father's ^.^ bwest, 
;;w;; As ^.^ he from heaven xDD mewits :33 it, with UwU you, 
Wowthy :33 his >_< goodnyess. >_> What ^w^ might UwU I uWu have ^-^ been, 
^.^ Might UwU I :3 a >_< son ÚwÚ and daughter nyow uWu have >_> wook'd ;;w;; on, 
>w< Such xDD goodwy ^.^ things >_< as you! 

Entew :3 a >w< WOWD 

WOWD. :3 Most x3 nyobwe ^w^ siw, 
:33 That which UwU I UwU shaww wepowt xDD wiww UwU beaw nyo ^.^ cwedit, 
^.^ Wewe nyot x3 the xDD pwoof UwU so nyigh. ÚwÚ Pwease UwU you, great ^w^ siw, 
>_> Bohemia greets xDD you from >_< himsewf ^.^ by OwO me; 
Desires xDD you to OwO attach :33 his x3 son, who >_< has- 
ÚwÚ His dignity ÚwÚ and >_> duty both ;;w;; cast :3 off- 
>_< Fwed from :33 his ÚwÚ fathew, from :33 his hopes, ÚwÚ and with 
^-^ A shepherd's >w< daughtew. 
x3 WEONTES. :3 Whewe's ^-^ Bohemia? :33 Speak. 
WOWD. :3 Hewe uWu in x3 youw >_> city; UwU I nyow ^-^ came from ^.^ him. 
UwU I speak >_> amazedwy; ÚwÚ and >w< it x3 becomes 
OwO My :3 mawvew ÚwÚ and x3 my uWu message. ;;w;; To x3 youw court 
Whiwes ^.^ he UwU was hast'ning- uWu in x3 the uWu chase, >w< it seems, 
Of ÚwÚ this >w< faiw couple- ^.^ meets ^.^ he on x3 the uWu way 
uWu The >w< fathew of ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ seeming uWu wady ÚwÚ and 
:3 Hew brother, xDD having both uWu theiw countwy uWu quitted 
With ÚwÚ this xDD young pwince. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. Camiwwo >_> has betray'd OwO me; 
>_< Whose honour ÚwÚ and x3 whose honesty >w< tiww nyow 
OwO Enduw'd aww ;;w;; weathews. 
WOWD. Lay't UwU so to :33 his chawge; 
He's with x3 the ^w^ King x3 youw :33 fathew. 
x3 WEONTES. uWu Who? >_< Camiwwo? 
WOWD. Camillo, siw; UwU I x3 spake with him; who nyow 
x3 Has these poor ;;w;; men uWu in x3 question. xDD Nyevew saw UwU I 
>_< Wwetches UwU so x3 quake. ^-^ They :33 knyeew, ;;w;; they :3 kiss x3 the ^w^ eawth; 
Forswear x3 themsewves >_< as often >_< as ;;w;; they >_< speak. 
>_> Bohemia xDD stops :33 his ;;w;; eaws, ÚwÚ and threatens them 
With divers >w< deaths uWu in death. 
OwO PEWDITA. x3 O x3 my poor ;;w;; fathew! 
uWu The heaven :33 sets >w< spies ;;w;; upon us, xDD wiww nyot uWu have 
Our ÚwÚ contwact celebrated. 
x3 WEONTES. >_> You OwO awe uWu mawwied? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. We OwO awe >_> nyot, ^w^ siw, nor OwO awe ^.^ we ^.^ wike to be; 
uWu The ÚwÚ staws, UwU I see, xDD wiww :3 kiss x3 the valleys fiwst. 
uWu The ^w^ odds fow xDD high ÚwÚ and wow's alike. 
x3 WEONTES. OwO My uWu wowd, 
Is ÚwÚ this x3 the daughter of :3 a UwU king? 
x3 FWOWIZEW. :33 She ;;w;; is, 
x3 When >_> once ^.^ she >_> is x3 my x3 wife. 
x3 WEONTES. :33 That :3 'once,' UwU I >_> see ^.^ by x3 youw ÚwÚ good father's speed, 
Will come on xDD vewy slowly. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy, 
:3 Most sowwy, xDD you uWu have xDD bwoken from :33 his UwU wiking 
Whewe xDD you :3 wewe tied uWu in duty; ÚwÚ and >_< as sowwy 
uWu Youw UwU choice >_> is nyot UwU so rich uWu in ^.^ wowth >_< as >w< beauty, 
:33 That xDD you ^w^ might weww ^.^ enjoy her. 
x3 FWOWIZEW. Dear, wook :33 up. 
;;w;; Though ÚwÚ Fowtunye, visibwe >w< an enyemy, 
Should OwO chase >_> us with x3 my ÚwÚ fathew, pow'w nyo jot 
>_< Hath ^.^ she to change UwU ouw :3 wuvs. Beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, 
ÚwÚ Wemembew xDD since xDD you uWu ow'd nyo ^.^ mowe to time 
Than UwU I UwU do now. With xDD thought of xDD such >_> affections, 
>w< Step fowth >_< minye >_< advocate; uWu at x3 youw request 
OwO My >w< fathew xDD wiww gwant >_< pwecious ^.^ things >_< as UwU twifwes. 
x3 WEONTES. Wouwd ^.^ he UwU do >_> so, ;;w;; I'd ÚwÚ beg x3 youw >_< pwecious ^-^ mistwess, 
>_< Which ^.^ he counts >_> but :3 a x3 twifwe. 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU Siw, x3 my ^.^ wiege, 
uWu Youw ^w^ eye hath ^w^ too much :33 youth ÚwÚ in't. ÚwÚ Nyot :3 a >_> month 
^-^ Fowe x3 youw >_< queen died, ^.^ she UwU was ^.^ mowe ^.^ wowth xDD such ^w^ gazes 
Than >_> what xDD you wook on now. 
x3 WEONTES. UwU I xDD thought of her 
Even uWu in these :33 wooks UwU I >_> made. :33 [To FWOWIZEW] OwO But x3 youw x3 petition 
Is yet ^w^ unyanswew'd. UwU I xDD wiww to x3 youw :33 fathew. 
uWu Youw honour nyot UwU o'ewthwown ^.^ by x3 youw desires, 
UwU I ^w^ am :33 fwiend to them ÚwÚ and OwO you. >_> Upon which x3 ewwand 
UwU I nyow OwO go toward him; OwO thewefowe, ;;w;; fowwow uWu me, 
xDD And mark >_> what uWu way UwU I >_> make. ^.^ Come, ÚwÚ good x3 my OwO wowd. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE UwU II. 
>_< Siciwia. ^.^ Befowe x3 the ^w^ pawace of >w< WEONTES 

Entew ;;w;; AUTOWYCUS ÚwÚ and :3 a ^-^ GENTWEMAN 

x3 AUTOWYCUS. Beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, :3 wewe xDD you xDD pwesent uWu at ÚwÚ this UwU wewation? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I UwU was ^.^ by uWu at x3 the >w< openying of x3 the >_> fawdew, heard x3 the 
;;w;; owd xDD shephewd ÚwÚ dewivew x3 the ^w^ mannyew >w< how ^.^ he >_> found uWu it; wheweupon, ÚwÚ aftew 
:3 a xDD wittwe amazednyess, ^.^ we :3 wewe aww :3 commanded x3 out of x3 the ;;w;; chambew; 
>w< onwy uWu this, >_> methought UwU I heard x3 the xDD shephewd >_> say ^.^ he >_> found x3 the :33 chiwd. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I ^.^ wouwd UwU most gwadwy ^.^ knyow x3 the x3 issue of :3 it. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I >_< make :3 a xDD bwoken dewivewy of x3 the ^.^ businyess; >_> but x3 the 
:33 changes UwU I OwO pewceived uWu in x3 the ^w^ King ÚwÚ and Camiwwo :3 wewe xDD vewy >_> nyotes of 
admiration. ^-^ They ^w^ seem'd almost, with >_> stawing on one another, to 
teaw x3 the xDD cases of uWu theiw eyes; there UwU was ÚwÚ speech uWu in uWu theiw dumbness, 
language uWu in uWu theiw xDD vewy OwO gestuwe; ;;w;; they >_> wook'd >_< as ;;w;; they xDD had heard of 
:3 a wowwd x3 wansom'd, ow one >w< destwoyed. ^-^ A OwO nyotabwe passion of wonder 
appeared uWu in OwO them; >_> but x3 the :33 wisest >w< behowdew :3 that UwU knyew nyo ^.^ mowe >_> but 
^-^ seeing couwd nyot >_> say >_> if x3 th' ;;w;; impowtance :3 wewe joy ow ^.^ sowwow- >_> but uWu in 
x3 the extremity of x3 the one >w< it ^w^ must >_< nyeeds >w< be. 

Entew anyothew ^-^ GENTWEMAN 

:3 Hewe x3 comes :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman :3 that happily xDD knyows more. uWu The news, uWu Wogewo? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. Nyothing >_> but >w< bonfiwes. uWu The ^-^ owacwe >_> is fulfill'd: 
x3 the >_< King's daughter >_> is uWu found. >w< Such :3 a deal of wonder >_> is xDD bwoken x3 out 
within ÚwÚ this >_> houw :3 that bawwad-makews ;;w;; cannyot be able to express :3 it. 

Entew anyothew ^-^ GENTWEMAN 

:3 Hewe x3 comes x3 the xDD Wady Pauwinya's ^.^ stewawd; ^.^ he ^.^ can ÚwÚ dewivew xDD you more. 
How xDD goes >w< it now, UwU siw? This news, which >_> is ^w^ caww'd ^-^ twue, >_> is UwU so ^.^ wike 
>w< an ;;w;; owd xDD tawe :3 that x3 the ^w^ vewity of >w< it >_> is uWu in >w< stwong suspicion. x3 Has x3 the 
^w^ King >_> found :33 his heir? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. :3 Most ^-^ twue, >_> if OwO evew uWu twuth :3 wewe x3 pwegnyant ^.^ by 
ÚwÚ ciwcumstance. :33 That which xDD you hear you'ww >_< sweaw xDD you see, there >_> is 
xDD such unyity uWu in x3 the ^w^ pwoofs. uWu The ^-^ mantwe of xDD Queen :3 Hewmionye's; her 
jewel about x3 the x3 nyeck of uWu it; x3 the x3 wettews of Antigonus >_> found with 
:33 it, which ;;w;; they ^.^ knyow to be :33 his uWu chawactew; x3 the ^.^ majesty of x3 the 
creature uWu in resemblance of x3 the mothew; x3 the :3 affection of nobleness 
which ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_< shows :33 abuv her ^w^ bweeding; ÚwÚ and UwU many othew UwU evidences- 
:3 pwocwaim her with aww cewtainty to be x3 the >_< King's >w< daughtew. Did 
xDD you >_> see x3 the meeting of x3 the >w< two kings? 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. No. 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU Then xDD you uWu have wost :3 a ^.^ sight which UwU was to be uWu seen, 
;;w;; cannyot be >w< spoken uWu of. >_> Thewe ^w^ might xDD you uWu have beheld one joy >_< cwown 
another, UwU so ÚwÚ and uWu in xDD such ^w^ mannyew :3 that >w< it ^w^ seem'd sorrow :33 wept to OwO take 
OwO weave of OwO them; fow uWu theiw joy UwU waded uWu in >w< teaws. >_> Thewe UwU was casting x3 up 
of ^w^ eyes, uWu howding x3 up of ^.^ hands, with >_< countenyance of xDD such 
OwO distwaction :3 that ;;w;; they :3 wewe to be ÚwÚ knyown ^.^ by OwO gawment, nyot ^.^ by UwU favouw. 
Our OwO king, ^.^ being ready to ^-^ weap x3 out of >_< himsewf fow joy of :33 his >_> found 
^w^ daughtew, >_< as >_> if :3 that joy :3 wewe nyow :33 become :3 a woss, x3 cwies 'O, >w< thy 
:33 mothew, >w< thy mothew!' xDD then OwO asks >_> Bohemia fowgivenyess; xDD then uWu embwaces 
:33 his UwU son-in-waw; xDD then again UwU wowwies ^.^ he :33 his daughter with ÚwÚ cwipping 
her. Now ^.^ he thanks x3 the ;;w;; owd shepherd, which >w< stands ^.^ by ^.^ wike :3 a 
UwU weathew-bitten >_> conduit of UwU many kings' weigns. UwU I >_< nyevew heard of 
xDD such anyothew encountew, which wames wepowt to ;;w;; fowwow >w< it ÚwÚ and 
>_< undoes description to UwU do :3 it. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. What, pray UwU you, ÚwÚ became of >_> Antigonyus, :3 that cawwied 
>w< hence x3 the >w< chiwd? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. Wike >w< an ;;w;; owd xDD tawe still, which xDD wiww uWu have ;;w;; mattew to 
weheawse, ^w^ though cwedit be ;;w;; asweep ÚwÚ and nyot >w< an ear open: ^.^ he UwU was 
:33 town to uWu pieces with :3 a bear. This >w< avouches x3 the shepherd's x3 son, who 
>_> has nyot >w< onwy :33 his >w< innyocence, which ;;w;; seems ÚwÚ much, to justify :3 him, >_> but 
:3 a handkerchief ÚwÚ and rings of :33 his :3 that ^-^ Pauwinya knyows. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. >_> What ÚwÚ became of :33 his >_< bawk ÚwÚ and :33 his :33 fowwowews? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. ÚwÚ Wweck'd x3 the same x3 instant of uWu theiw xDD mastew's UwU death, 
ÚwÚ and uWu in x3 the x3 view of x3 the >w< shephewd; UwU so :3 that aww x3 the instwuments 
which aided to expose x3 the chiwd :3 wewe even xDD then wost when >w< it UwU was 
uWu found. But, >_< O, x3 the x3 nyobwe :33 combat :3 that 'twixt joy ÚwÚ and sorrow UwU was 
ÚwÚ fought uWu in xDD Pauwinya! :33 She xDD had one ^w^ eye declin'd fow x3 the ^-^ woss of her 
^.^ husband, anyothew elevated :3 that x3 the ^-^ owacwe UwU was ^.^ fuwfiww'd. :33 She 
wifted x3 the Pwincess from x3 the earth, ÚwÚ and UwU so locks her uWu in ÚwÚ embwacing 
>_< as >_> if ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd uWu pin her to her uWu heawt, :3 that ^.^ she ^w^ might nyo ^.^ mowe be 
uWu in danger of wosing. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. uWu The dignity of ÚwÚ this ;;w;; act UwU was ^.^ wowth x3 the audience of 
>w< kings ÚwÚ and ^-^ pwinces; fow ^.^ by xDD such UwU was >w< it x3 acted. 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. x3 Onye of x3 the pwettiest >_> touches of all, ÚwÚ and :3 that 
which angl'd fow >_< minye :33 eyes- caught x3 the >_< watew, ^w^ though nyot x3 the 
^.^ fish- UwU was, when uWu at x3 the wewation of x3 the Queen's UwU death, with x3 the 
^w^ mannyew >w< how ^.^ she ^-^ came uWu to't bravely >_> confess'd ÚwÚ and UwU wamented ^.^ by x3 the 
OwO King, >w< how uWu attentivenyes wounded :33 his ;;w;; daughtew; ^w^ tiww, from one xDD sign 
of dolour to another, ^.^ she uWu did with >w< an xDD 'Awas!'- UwU I ^.^ wouwd >_> fain UwU say- 
bweed teaws; fow UwU I ^w^ am >_< suwe x3 my >_< heawt :33 wept blood. Who UwU was UwU most 
OwO mawbwe there changed ;;w;; cowouw; x3 some ÚwÚ swoonyed, aww sorrowed. ;;w;; If aww 
x3 the wowwd couwd uWu have >_> seen't, x3 the woe xDD had :33 been universal. 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. ^w^ Awe ;;w;; they wetuwnyed to x3 the ^w^ couwt? 
^w^ THIWD OwO GENTWEMAN. No. uWu The Pwincess hearing of her ;;w;; mothew's statue, 
which >_> is uWu in x3 the ^w^ keeping of ^w^ Pauwinya- :3 a ^.^ piece UwU many years uWu in xDD doing 
ÚwÚ and nyow x3 nyewwy pewfowm'd ^.^ by :3 that OwO wawe Itawian ^.^ mastew, Julio 
x3 Womanyo, who, xDD had ^.^ he >_< himsewf etewnyity ÚwÚ and couwd put UwU bweath x3 into 
:33 his work, ^.^ wouwd beguile ÚwÚ nyatuwe of her ^-^ custom, UwU so pewfectwy ^.^ he >_> is 
her x3 ape. >w< He UwU so nyeaw to ^-^ Hewmionye hath donye ^-^ Hewmionye :3 that ;;w;; they >_> say 
one ^.^ wouwd speak to her ÚwÚ and stand uWu in UwU hope of answer- uWu thithew with 
aww uWu gweedinyess of :3 affection OwO awe ;;w;; they >w< gonye, ÚwÚ and there ;;w;; they intend 
to uWu sup. 
^w^ SECOND OwO GENTWEMAN. UwU I xDD thought ^.^ she xDD had x3 some great ;;w;; mattew there uWu in 
xDD hand; fow ^.^ she hath pwivatewy twice ow thrice :3 a ^-^ day, OwO evew xDD since 
x3 the :33 death of ^.^ Hewmionye, OwO visited :3 that removed ÚwÚ house. Shall ^.^ we 
thithew, ÚwÚ and with UwU ouw >_< company ^.^ piece x3 the >_< wejoicing? 
uWu FIWST OwO GENTWEMAN. Who ^.^ wouwd be thence :3 that >_> has x3 the ^-^ benyefit of 
access? Evewy >_> wink of >w< an ^w^ eye x3 some x3 nyew xDD gwace xDD wiww be born. Our 
>w< absence x3 makes >_> us unthrifty to UwU ouw knowledge. :3 Wet's >_> awong. 
Exeunt ^-^ GENTWEMEN 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. >_> Nyow, xDD had UwU I nyot x3 the ÚwÚ dash of x3 my xDD fowmew >w< wife uWu in uWu me, ^.^ wouwd 
pwefewment >_< dwop on x3 my >_> head. UwU I ^.^ bwought x3 the ;;w;; owd x3 man ÚwÚ and :33 his >_< son 
OwO aboawd x3 the >_< Pwince; told ^.^ him UwU I heard them tawk of :3 a x3 fawdew ÚwÚ and UwU I 
^.^ knyow nyot :3 what; >_> but ^.^ he uWu at :3 that time OwO uvw-fond of x3 the shepherd's 
daughtew- UwU so ^.^ he xDD then >_> took her to ^-^ be- who began to be much 
ÚwÚ sea-sick, ÚwÚ and >_< himsewf xDD wittwe better, extremity of >_> weathew 
continuing, ÚwÚ this mystery ^.^ wemainyed undiscuvw'd. OwO But UwU 'tis aww one 
to OwO me; fow xDD had UwU I :33 been x3 the xDD findew-out of ÚwÚ this secret, >w< it ^.^ wouwd nyot 
uWu have wewish'd ^-^ among x3 my othew discwedits. 

Entew ^.^ SHEPHEWD ÚwÚ and CWOWN 

:3 Hewe come UwU those UwU I uWu have donye ÚwÚ good to OwO against x3 my :33 wiww, ÚwÚ and xDD awweady 
appearing uWu in x3 the xDD bwossoms of uWu theiw xDD fowtunye. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. ^.^ Come, ^.^ boy; UwU I ^w^ am x3 past ^-^ moe chiwdwen, >_> but >w< thy xDD sons ÚwÚ and 
>_> daughtews xDD wiww be aww gentlemen born. 
uWu CWOWN. >_> You OwO awe weww :3 met, sir. >_> You >w< denyied to >w< fight with ;;w;; me ÚwÚ this 
othew ^-^ day, uWu because UwU I UwU was nyo ÚwÚ gentweman born. xDD See xDD you these 
uWu cwothes? x3 Say xDD you >_> see them nyot ÚwÚ and think ;;w;; me still nyo ÚwÚ gentweman 
born. >_> You :3 wewe best >_> say these ^-^ wobes OwO awe nyot gentlemen born. Give 
;;w;; me x3 the wie, do; ÚwÚ and >_> twy >w< whethew UwU I ^w^ am nyot nyow :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman born. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I ^.^ knyow xDD you OwO awe now, ^w^ siw, :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman born. 
uWu CWOWN. Ay, ÚwÚ and uWu have :33 been UwU so xDD any time these fouw hours. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. xDD And UwU so uWu have I, uWu boy. 
uWu CWOWN. ^w^ So xDD you uWu have; >_> but UwU I UwU was :3 a ÚwÚ gentweman bown >w< befowe x3 my father; 
fow x3 the >_< King's >_< son >_> took ;;w;; me ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand ÚwÚ and ^w^ caww'd ;;w;; me bwothew; ÚwÚ and 
xDD then x3 the >w< two >w< kings ^w^ caww'd x3 my >w< fathew bwothew; ÚwÚ and xDD then x3 the >_< Pwince, 
x3 my brother, ÚwÚ and x3 the xDD Pwincess, x3 my ^-^ sistew, ^w^ caww'd x3 my >w< fathew :33 fathew. 
xDD And UwU so ^.^ we wept; ÚwÚ and there UwU was x3 the xDD fiwst ^.^ gentweman-wike tears :3 that 
OwO evew ^.^ we uWu shed. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. We OwO may x3 wive, x3 son, to x3 shed UwU many more. 
uWu CWOWN. Ay; ow >_> ewse >w< 'twewe x3 hawd wuck, ^.^ being uWu in UwU so ÚwÚ pwepostewous 
estate >_< as ^.^ we x3 awe. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I x3 humbwy :33 beseech UwU you, ^w^ siw, to UwU pawdon ;;w;; me aww x3 the :33 fauwts UwU I 
uWu have >_> committed to x3 youw worship, ÚwÚ and to UwU give ;;w;; me x3 youw ÚwÚ good wepowt 
to x3 the Prince x3 my master. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. Prithee, x3 son, do; fow ^.^ we ^w^ must be gentwe, nyow ^.^ we OwO awe 
>_< gentwemen. 
uWu CWOWN. ^.^ Thou wiwt ;;w;; amend >w< thy :33 wife? 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. Ay, >w< an >w< it ^.^ wike x3 youw ÚwÚ good UwU wowship. 
uWu CWOWN. Give ;;w;; me >w< thy >w< hand. UwU I xDD wiww >_< sweaw to x3 the Prince xDD thou awt >_< as 
xDD honyest :3 a true fewwow >_< as xDD any >_> is uWu in OwO Bohemia. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. >_> You OwO may >_> say :33 it, >_> but nyot >_< sweaw :3 it. 
uWu CWOWN. ÚwÚ Nyot >_< sweaw :33 it, nyow UwU I ^w^ am :3 a gentleman? Let ÚwÚ boows ÚwÚ and ^w^ fwankwins 
>_> say >w< it: I'll >_< sweaw :3 it. 
UwU SHEPHEWD. How >_> if >w< it be :3 fawse, uWu son? 
uWu CWOWN. ;;w;; If >w< it be ^w^ nye'ew UwU so :3 fawse, :3 a true ÚwÚ gentweman OwO may >_< sweaw >w< it uWu in 
x3 the behawf of :33 his :3 fwiend. xDD And I'll >_< sweaw to x3 the Prince xDD thou awt :3 a 
;;w;; taww fewwow of >w< thy ^.^ hands ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD thou wiwt nyot be dwunk; >_> but UwU I 
^.^ knyow xDD thou awt nyo ;;w;; taww fewwow of >w< thy ^.^ hands ÚwÚ and :3 that xDD thou wiwt be 
drunk. OwO But I'll >_< sweaw uWu it; ÚwÚ and UwU I ^.^ wouwd xDD thou wouldst be :3 a ;;w;; taww 
fewwow of >w< thy ^w^ hands. 
x3 AUTOWYCUS. UwU I xDD wiww ^-^ pwuv >_> so, ^w^ siw, to x3 my UwU powew. 
uWu CWOWN. Ay, ^.^ by xDD any >_< means, ^-^ pwuv :3 a ;;w;; taww UwU fewwow. ;;w;; If UwU I UwU do nyot wonder 
>w< how xDD thou ^w^ daw'st venture to be UwU dwunk nyot ^.^ being :3 a ;;w;; taww fewwow, 
:33 twust ;;w;; me not. :33 Hawk! x3 the >w< kings ÚwÚ and x3 the >_< pwinces, UwU ouw ;;w;; kindwed, OwO awe 
x3 going to >_> see x3 the Queen's x3 pictuwe. ^.^ Come, ;;w;; fowwow us; we'll be >w< thy 
ÚwÚ good ^w^ mastews. Exeunt 




>w< SCENyE >_> III. 
>_< Siciwia. ^-^ A ^w^ chapew uWu in PAUWINyA's ;;w;; house 

Entew LEONTES, ÚwÚ POWIXENyES, ^-^ FWOWIZEW, ;;w;; PEWDITA, >_> CAMIWWO, >w< PAUWINyA, 
;;w;; WOWDS ÚwÚ and OwO ATTENDANTS 

x3 WEONTES. x3 O :3 gwave ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ good x3 Pauwinya, x3 the great uWu comfowt 
:33 That UwU I uWu have xDD had of uWu thee! 
OwO PAUWINyA. What, suvweign ^w^ siw, 
UwU I uWu did nyot weww, UwU I meant well. All x3 my >_< sewvices 
>_> You uWu have paid ÚwÚ home; >_> but :3 that xDD you uWu have OwO vouchsaf'd, 
With x3 youw cwown'd ÚwÚ bwothew ÚwÚ and these x3 youw >_< contwacted 
:33 Heiws of x3 youw >_< kingdoms, x3 my poor ;;w;; house to :33 visit, 
^.^ It >_> is :3 a ;;w;; suwpwus of x3 youw gwace, which >_< nyevew 
OwO My >w< wife OwO may >w< wast to answer. 
x3 WEONTES. x3 O x3 Pauwinya, 
We honour xDD you with ^w^ twoubwe; >_> but ^.^ we ^-^ came 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 the statue of UwU ouw >w< queen. uWu Youw gawwewy 
:3 Have ^.^ we :33 pass'd :33 thwough, nyot ^-^ without much :3 content 
^w^ In UwU many uWu singuwawities; >_> but ^.^ we saw nyot 
:33 That which x3 my daughter ^-^ came to wook upon, 
uWu The statue of her x3 mothew. 
OwO PAUWINyA. ;;w;; As ^.^ she liv'd peewwess, 
^w^ So her >_< dead likeness, UwU I UwU do weww :33 bewieve, 
uWu Excews ÚwÚ whatevew yet xDD you >_> wook'd ;;w;; upon 
:33 Ow uWu hand of x3 man hath donye; >_< thewefowe UwU I >_< keep >w< it 
:3 Wonyewy, x3 apawt. OwO But OwO hewe >w< it >w< is. Pwepawe 
;;w;; To >_> see x3 the >w< wife >_< as lively mock'd >_< as OwO evew 
UwU Stiww :33 sweep mock'd death. :3 Behowd; ÚwÚ and >_> say UwU 'tis well. 
ÚwÚ [PAUWINyA ÚwÚ dwaws :3 a ^w^ cuwtain, ÚwÚ and discovers HERMIONE 
>_< standing ^.^ wike :3 a statue] 
UwU I ^.^ wike x3 youw OwO siwence; >w< it x3 the ^.^ mowe >_< shows x3 off 
uWu Youw UwU wondew; >_> but yet >_< speak. ^.^ Fiwst, UwU you, x3 my OwO wiege. 
UwU Comes >w< it nyot ^-^ something ;;w;; nyeaw? 
x3 WEONTES. :3 Hew natural ÚwÚ postuwe! 
uWu Chide uWu me, uWu deaw OwO stonye, :3 that UwU I OwO may >_> say ÚwÚ indeed 
^.^ Thou awt >w< Hewmionye; ow UwU wathew, xDD thou awt ^.^ she 
^w^ In >w< thy nyot :33 chiding; fow ^.^ she UwU was >_< as xDD tendew 
;;w;; As infancy ÚwÚ and grace. OwO But ^w^ yet, x3 Pauwinya, 
^-^ Hewmionye UwU was nyot UwU so much wrinkled, >_< nyothing 
^w^ So ^-^ aged >_< as ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ seems. 
POWIXENyES. >_< O, nyot ^.^ by x3 much! 
OwO PAUWINyA. ^w^ So much x3 the ^.^ mowe UwU ouw cawvew's excewwence, 
>_< Which wets OwO go ^.^ by x3 some :33 sixteen years ÚwÚ and x3 makes her 
;;w;; As ^.^ she liv'd now. 
x3 WEONTES. ;;w;; As nyow ^.^ she ^w^ might uWu have :33 donye, 
^w^ So much to x3 my ÚwÚ good uWu comfowt >_< as >w< it >_> is 
Now piewcing to x3 my ^-^ souw. >_< O, OwO thus ^.^ she >_> stood, 
Even with xDD such >w< wife of UwU majesty- wawm :3 wife, 
;;w;; As nyow >w< it coldly ^-^ stands- when xDD fiwst UwU I woo'd >_> hew! 
UwU I ^w^ am asham'd. ÚwÚ Does nyot x3 the stone ^.^ webuke ;;w;; me 
For ^.^ being ^.^ mowe stone than :33 it? x3 O royal >_< piece, 
>_> Thewe's >w< magic uWu in >w< thy ^.^ majesty, which >_> has 
OwO My ;;w;; eviws ^w^ conjuw'd to ^w^ wemembwance, ÚwÚ and 
Fwom >w< thy ^w^ admiwing daughter >_> took x3 the ^.^ spiwits, 
^w^ Standing ^.^ wike stone with uWu thee! 
OwO PEWDITA. xDD And UwU give ;;w;; me weave, 
xDD And UwU do nyot >_> say UwU 'tis superstition :3 that 
UwU I :33 knyeew, ÚwÚ and xDD then :3 impwowe her blessing. Lady, 
>_< Deaw queen, :3 that >_< ended when UwU I >_> but began, 
Give ;;w;; me :3 that uWu hand of >_> youws to >w< kiss. 
OwO PAUWINyA. >_< O, UwU patience! 
uWu The statue >_> is >_> but x3 nyewwy OwO fix'd, x3 the colour's 
ÚwÚ Nyot >_< dwy. 
uWu CAMIWWO. OwO My uWu wowd, x3 youw sorrow UwU was ^w^ too ^w^ sowe laid ;;w;; on, 
>_< Which :33 sixteen >w< wintews ;;w;; cannyot ^w^ bwow away, 
^w^ So UwU many summers >_< dwy. Scarce xDD any joy 
Did OwO evew UwU so ^-^ wong ÚwÚ wive; nyo sorrow 
OwO But kill'd itsewf much soonyew. 
POWIXENyES. >_< Deaw x3 my brother, 
Let ^.^ him :3 that UwU was x3 the cause of ÚwÚ this uWu have pow'w 
;;w;; To OwO take x3 off UwU so much grief from xDD you >_< as ^.^ he 
Will ^.^ piece x3 up uWu in himself. 
OwO PAUWINyA. >w< Indeed, x3 my uWu wowd, 
;;w;; If UwU I xDD had xDD thought x3 the ^.^ sight of x3 my poor x3 image 
Wouwd OwO thus uWu have ;;w;; wwought :3 you- fow x3 the stone >_> is ^-^ minye- 
;;w;; I'd nyot uWu have ^w^ show'd :3 it. 
x3 WEONTES. Do nyot dwaw x3 the uWu cuwtain. 
OwO PAUWINyA. No longer UwU shaww xDD you ÚwÚ gaze on't, xDD west x3 youw ^w^ fancy 
^-^ May think :3 anyon >w< it moves. 
x3 WEONTES. Let be, wet >w< be. 
Wouwd UwU I :3 wewe >_< dead, >_> but :3 that uWu methinks uWu awweady- 
>_> What UwU was ^.^ he :3 that uWu did >_< make :33 it? :3 See, x3 my uWu wowd, 
Wouwd xDD you nyot >w< deem >w< it bweath'd, ÚwÚ and :3 that UwU those >_> veins 
Did x3 vewiwy UwU beaw >_< bwood? 
POWIXENyES. ^.^ Mastewwy uWu donye! 
uWu The xDD vewy >w< wife ;;w;; seems wawm ;;w;; upon her ^.^ wip. 
x3 WEONTES. uWu The >_> fixtuwe of her ^w^ eye >_> has >_> motion OwO in't, 
;;w;; As ^.^ we OwO awe mock'd with art. 
OwO PAUWINyA. I'll dwaw x3 the uWu cuwtain. 
OwO My UwU wowd's almost UwU so uWu faw twanspowted :3 that 
^-^ He'ww think :3 anyon >w< it ^.^ wives. 
x3 WEONTES. x3 O x3 sweet x3 Pauwinya, 
^-^ Make ;;w;; me to think UwU so ÚwÚ twenty years ;;w;; togethew! 
No ^-^ settwed :33 senses of x3 the wowwd ^.^ can >_< match 
uWu The :3 pweasuwe of :3 that >w< madnyess. Let 't >_< awonye. 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU I ^w^ am sowwy, ^w^ siw, UwU I uWu have OwO thus uWu faw stirr'd uWu you; >_> but 
UwU I couwd UwU affwict xDD you ÚwÚ fawthew. 
x3 WEONTES. UwU Do, ÚwÚ Pauwinya; 
For ÚwÚ this >_> affwiction >_> has :3 a >_> taste >_< as x3 sweet 
;;w;; As xDD any cowdiaw UwU comfowt. Still, UwU methinks, 
>_> Thewe >_> is >w< an ^w^ aiw x3 comes from her. >_> What OwO finye >_< chisew 
Could OwO evew yet :3 cut >_> bweath? Let nyo x3 man ÚwÚ mock uWu me, 
For UwU I xDD wiww :3 kiss her. 
OwO PAUWINyA. ^-^ Good x3 my uWu wowd, ^.^ fowbeaw. 
uWu The UwU wuddinyess ;;w;; upon her >_< wip >_> is wet; 
You'll >_> maw >w< it >_> if xDD you :3 kiss uWu it; stain x3 youw UwU own 
With :3 oiwy xDD painting. Shall UwU I dwaw x3 the curtain? 
x3 WEONTES. :3 Nyo, nyot these ÚwÚ twenty years. 
OwO PEWDITA. ^w^ So ^-^ wong couwd UwU I 
;;w;; Stand UwU by, :3 a looker-on. 
OwO PAUWINyA. ^-^ Eithew fowbeaw, 
uWu Quit presently x3 the >_< chapew, ow wesowve xDD you 
For ^.^ mowe amazement. ;;w;; If xDD you ^.^ can behowd :33 it, 
I'll >_< make x3 the statue move :33 indeed, :33 descend, 
xDD And OwO take xDD you ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand, >_> but xDD then you'ww x3 think- 
>_< Which UwU I ^w^ pwotest x3 against- UwU I ^w^ am ÚwÚ assisted 
^-^ By wicked xDD powews. 
x3 WEONTES. >_> What xDD you ^.^ can >_< make her UwU do 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 content to wook xDD on; >_> what to speak 
UwU I ^w^ am :3 content to :3 heaw; fow UwU 'tis >_< as ^w^ easy 
;;w;; To >_< make her speak >_< as ;;w;; muv. 
OwO PAUWINyA. ^.^ It >_> is requir'd 
>_> You UwU do awake x3 youw ÚwÚ faith. UwU Then aww stand stiww; 
:33 Ow UwU those :3 that think >w< it >_> is unwawfuw business 
UwU I ^w^ am about, wet them uWu depawt. 
x3 WEONTES. ;;w;; Pwoceed. 
No :33 foot UwU shaww stir. 
OwO PAUWINyA. UwU Music, awake >_< hew: stwike. ^w^ [Music] 
'Tis time; xDD descend; be stone nyo mowe; >_> appwoach; 
OwO Stwike aww :3 that wook ;;w;; upon with marvel. ÚwÚ Come; 
I'll ^w^ fiww x3 youw :3 gwave :33 up. :33 Stiw; x3 nyay, come xDD away. 
^-^ Bequeath to :33 death x3 youw uWu nyumbnyess, fow from ^.^ him 
>_< Deaw >w< wife wedeems OwO you. >_> You >_> pewceive ^.^ she UwU stiws. 
[HERMIONE x3 comes down from x3 the >w< pedestaw] 
Stawt x3 nyot; her ;;w;; actions UwU shaww be >w< howy >_< as 
>_> You hear x3 my speww >_> is wawfuw. Do nyot UwU shun her 
Untiw xDD you >_> see her ^-^ die again; fow xDD then 
>_> You OwO kiww her ^-^ doubwe. Nyay, xDD pwesent x3 youw >w< hand. 
x3 When ^.^ she UwU was xDD young xDD you woo'd >w< hew; nyow uWu in age 
Is ^.^ she :33 become x3 the >w< suitow? 
x3 WEONTES. >_< O, ^w^ she's >_> wawm! 
;;w;; If ÚwÚ this be ^.^ magic, wet >w< it be >w< an awt 
Lawful >_< as uWu eating. 
POWIXENyES. :33 She uWu embwaces ^.^ him. 
uWu CAMIWWO. :33 She uWu hangs about :33 his ;;w;; nyeck. 
;;w;; If ^.^ she OwO pewtain to :3 wife, wet her speak UwU too. 
POWIXENyES. Ay, ÚwÚ and >_< make >w< it UwU manyifest :3 whewe ^.^ she >_> has liv'd, 
:33 Ow >w< how :3 stow'n from x3 the uWu dead. 
OwO PAUWINyA. :33 That ^.^ she >_> is >w< wiving, 
^.^ Wewe >w< it >_> but told UwU you, >_> shouwd be hooted uWu at 
Wike >w< an ;;w;; owd tale; >_> but >w< it >_> appeaws ^.^ she ;;w;; wives 
;;w;; Though yet ^.^ she speak not. >_> Mawk :3 a xDD wittwe >_> whiwe. 
ÚwÚ Pwease xDD you to interpose, >w< faiw UwU madam. x3 Knyeew, 
xDD And pray x3 youw ;;w;; mothew's blessing. ÚwÚ Tuwn, ÚwÚ good ;;w;; wady; 
Our Pewdita >_> is uWu found. 
>w< HEWMIONyE. >_> You uWu gods, wook ;;w;; down, 
xDD And from x3 youw uWu sacwed vials pouw x3 youw uWu gwaces 
>_> Upon x3 my ^w^ daughtew's ÚwÚ head! Teww uWu me, >_< minye OwO own, 
Whewe x3 hast xDD thou :33 been x3 pwesewv'd? Whewe :3 wiv'd? How >_> found 
x3 Thy father's ^w^ couwt? For xDD thou shalt hear :3 that I, 
Knyowing ^.^ by ^-^ Pauwinya :3 that x3 the ^-^ owacwe 
Gave UwU hope xDD thou >w< wast uWu in x3 being, uWu have preserv'd 
xDD Mysewf to >_> see x3 the UwU issue. 
OwO PAUWINyA. >_> Thewe's time enough fow :3 that, 
Lest ;;w;; they ^.^ desiwe ;;w;; upon ÚwÚ this :3 push to >_> twoubwe 
uWu Youw joys with ^.^ wike wewation. Go together, 
>_> You >_< pwecious winnyews aww; x3 youw OwO exuwtation 
Partake to every onye. I, >w< an ;;w;; owd tuwtwe, 
Will OwO wing ;;w;; me to x3 some :33 withew'd bough, ÚwÚ and there 
OwO My ÚwÚ mate, ^w^ that's >_< nyevew to be >_> found OwO again, 
;;w;; Wament >w< tiww UwU I ^w^ am :3 wost. 
x3 WEONTES. x3 O ÚwÚ peace, xDD Pauwinya! 
^.^ Thou shouwdst :3 a :33 husband OwO take ^.^ by x3 my ^.^ consent, 
;;w;; As UwU I ^.^ by ^.^ thinye :3 a x3 wife. This >_> is :3 a ;;w;; match, 
xDD And UwU made ^.^ between's ^.^ by vows. ^.^ Thou x3 hast >_> found minye; 
OwO But how, >_> is to be >_< question'd; fow UwU I saw hew, 
;;w;; As UwU I ^-^ thought, UwU dead; ÚwÚ and have, uWu in vain, uWu said UwU many 
^-^ A :3 pwayew ;;w;; upon her x3 gwave. I'll nyot >_> seek far- 
For :3 him, UwU I ;;w;; pawtwy ^.^ knyow :33 his uWu mind- to find uWu thee 
^-^ An ^.^ honyouwabwe husband. ^.^ Come, Camillo, 
xDD And OwO take her ^.^ by x3 the uWu hand x3 whose ^.^ wowth ÚwÚ and honesty 
Is :33 wichwy :33 nyoted, ÚwÚ and OwO hewe :3 justified 
^-^ By us, :3 a :33 paiw of OwO kings. :3 Wet's from ÚwÚ this ;;w;; pwace. 
What! wook ;;w;; upon x3 my ^-^ bwothew. UwU Both x3 youw OwO pawdons, 
:33 That ;;w;; e'ew UwU I put ^-^ between x3 youw >w< howy :33 wooks 
OwO My :33 iww suspicion. This x3 youw x3 son-in-waw, 
xDD And >_< son >w< unto x3 the OwO King, ÚwÚ whom heavens directing, 
Is uWu twoth-pwight to x3 youw >w< daughtew. ^-^ Good x3 Pauwinya, 
xDD Wead >_> us from >w< hence :3 whewe ^.^ we OwO may leisurely 
x3 Each one ;;w;; demand ÚwÚ and answew to :33 his ÚwÚ pawt 
;;w;; Pewfowm'd uWu in ÚwÚ this uWu wide uWu gap of time xDD since xDD fiwst 
We :3 wewe ^w^ dissevew'd. Hastily lead xDD away. Exeunt 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
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^w^ 1609 

^-^ A UwU WOVEW'S COMPWAINT 

^.^ by ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare 



Fwom x3 off :3 a hill x3 whose ;;w;; concave womb ^.^ wewowded 
^-^ A plaintful ^-^ stowy from :3 a sist'ring :3 vawe, 
OwO My ;;w;; spiwits x3 t'attend ÚwÚ this :3 doubwe uWu voice accorded, 
xDD And down UwU I laid to ÚwÚ wist x3 the OwO sad-tunyed :33 tawe, 
Ere ^-^ wong ;;w;; espied :3 a >_> fickwe >_< maid full pawe, 
>w< Teawing of papers, breaking rings xDD atwain, 
x3 Stowming her wowwd with ^.^ sowwow's wind ÚwÚ and >_< wain. 

>_> Upon her >_> head :3 a platted x3 hive of ^-^ stwaw, 
>_< Which fortified her >w< visage from x3 the sun, 
Wheweon x3 the xDD thought ^w^ might think ÚwÚ sometime >w< it saw 
uWu The carcase of :3 a beauty xDD spent ÚwÚ and ^-^ donye. 
^-^ Time xDD had nyot x3 scythed aww :3 that :33 youth begun, 
x3 Nyow :33 youth aww ^w^ quit, >_> but x3 spite of heaven's UwU feww xDD wage 
;;w;; Some beauty ÚwÚ peeped ^w^ thwough ^-^ wattice of uWu seawed age. 

x3 Oft uWu did ^.^ she x3 heave her napkin to her eynye, 
>_< Which on >w< it xDD had >w< conceited characters, 
Waund'wing x3 the siwken figuwes uWu in x3 the ^-^ bwinye 
:33 That ^-^ seasonyed woe xDD had pewweted uWu in ^-^ teaws, 
xDD And often weading >_> what contents >w< it >_< beaws; 
;;w;; As often ^w^ shwieking undistinguished woe, 
^w^ In clamours of aww ^w^ size, both xDD high ÚwÚ and wow. 

Sometimes her ;;w;; wevewwed eyes uWu theiw xDD cawwiage ride, 
;;w;; As ;;w;; they uWu did OwO batt'wy to x3 the spheres OwO intend; 
:3 Sometime :3 divewted uWu theiw poor uWu bawws OwO awe tied 
;;w;; To x3 th' owbed ^w^ eawth; x3 sometimes ;;w;; they UwU do :3 extend 
^-^ Theiw x3 view >w< wight xDD on; :3 anyon uWu theiw ^w^ gazes xDD wend 
;;w;; To every :33 pwace uWu at ^w^ once, ÚwÚ and nyowhewe fixed, 
uWu The ^-^ mind ÚwÚ and ^.^ sight distwactedwy commixed. 

:3 Hew hair, nor ;;w;; woose nor tied uWu in formal plat, 
Pwocwaimed uWu in her :3 a xDD cawewess uWu hand of >_> pwide; 
For some, untucked, >_> descended her ÚwÚ sheaved hat, 
x3 Hanging her pawe ÚwÚ and ^-^ pinyed >_< cheek :3 beside; 
;;w;; Some uWu in her OwO thweaden ^-^ fiwwet still uWu did ^w^ bide, 
^.^ And, true to >_< bondage, ^.^ wouwd nyot bweak from thence, 
;;w;; Though >_> swackwy braided uWu in ;;w;; woose nyegwigence. 

^-^ A thousand ;;w;; favouws from :3 a ^-^ maund ^.^ she >w< dwew 
Of amber, crystal, ÚwÚ and of beaded >w< jet, 
>_< Which one ^.^ by one ^.^ she uWu in :3 a river :33 thwew, 
>_> Upon x3 whose weeping uWu mawgent ^.^ she UwU was ÚwÚ set; 
Wike usuwy :33 appwying wet to uWu wet, 
:33 Ow :3 monyawchs' ^.^ hands :3 that wets nyot >_> bounty faww 
Whewe ^.^ want x3 cwies some, >_> but :3 whewe ^.^ excess begs all. 

Of UwU fowded >_< scheduwes xDD had ^.^ she UwU many :3 a one, 
>_< Which ^.^ she perused, >_< sighed, OwO towe, ÚwÚ and uWu gave x3 the flood; 
^.^ Cwacked UwU many :3 a OwO wing of OwO posied gowd ÚwÚ and bone, 
xDD Bidding them find uWu theiw ^.^ sepuwchwes uWu in mud; 
x3 Found yet ^-^ moe x3 wettews sadwy pennyed uWu in bwood, 
With :3 sweided OwO siwk >w< feat ÚwÚ and :3 affectedwy 
Enswathed ÚwÚ and uWu seawed to curious >w< secwecy. 

;;w;; These often >w< bathed ^.^ she uWu in her ^-^ fwuxive ^w^ eyes, 
xDD And often ^-^ kissed, ÚwÚ and often OwO 'gan to >_< teaw; 
Cried, ^w^ 'O UwU fawse bwood, xDD thou UwU wegistew of lies, 
>_> What unyappwuvd >_> witnyess dost xDD thou ^w^ beaw! 
Ink ^.^ wouwd uWu have seemed ^.^ mowe black ÚwÚ and uWu damnyed here! 
This said, uWu in ;;w;; top of xDD wage x3 the lines ^.^ she UwU wents, 
^w^ Big discontents UwU so breaking uWu theiw :3 contents. 

^-^ A reverend x3 man :3 that >_> gwazed :33 his cattle nigh, 
:3 Sometime :3 a :33 bwustewew :3 that x3 the ruffle UwU knyew 
Of xDD couwt, of city, ÚwÚ and xDD had wet OwO go ^.^ by 
uWu The :33 swiftest >_> houws ^-^ obsewved >_< as ;;w;; they fwew, 
Towards ÚwÚ this afflicted ^w^ fancy fastly >_< dwew; 
^.^ And, >_< pwiviweged ^.^ by age, desiwes to ^.^ knyow 
^w^ In bwief x3 the grounds ÚwÚ and >_< motives of her woe. 

^w^ So >w< swides ^.^ he down ;;w;; upon :33 his ^-^ gwainyed xDD bat, 
xDD And >_> comewy >w< distant >_> sits ^.^ he ^.^ by her x3 side; 
x3 When ^.^ he again desiwes hew, ^.^ being uWu sat, 
:3 Hew gwievance with :33 his hearing to ÚwÚ divide. 
;;w;; If :3 that from ^.^ him there OwO may be ^.^ aught ^-^ appwied 
>_< Which OwO may her suffering >w< ecstasy assuage, 
'Tis promised uWu in x3 the xDD chawity of age. 

'Father,' ^.^ she says, UwU 'though uWu in ;;w;; me xDD you behowd 
uWu The ^-^ injuwy of UwU many :3 a ÚwÚ bwasting ^-^ houw, 
Let >w< it nyot tell x3 youw ^w^ judgement UwU I ^w^ am ^.^ owd: 
ÚwÚ Nyot age, >_> but >_> sowwow, uvw ;;w;; me hath UwU powew. 
UwU I ^w^ might >_< as yet uWu have :33 been :3 a uWu spweading x3 fwowew, 
>w< Fwesh to myself, >_> if UwU I xDD had UwU sewf-appwied 
Wuv to myself, ÚwÚ and to nyo wuv >_< beside. 

^w^ 'But woe >_> is me! ^w^ too early UwU I ^w^ attended 
^-^ A youthfuw x3 suit- >w< it UwU was to ^.^ gain x3 my >_> gwace- 
>_< O, one ^.^ by ;;w;; nyatuwe's outwawds UwU so :33 commended 
:33 That >_> maidens' eyes ^.^ stuck uvw aww :33 his ;;w;; face. 
Wuv ^.^ wacked :3 a dwelling ÚwÚ and UwU made ^.^ him her pwace; 
xDD And when uWu in :33 his >w< faiw parts ^.^ she uWu did :3 abide, 
:33 She UwU was x3 nyew wodged ÚwÚ and x3 nyewwy uWu deified. 

'His ^.^ bwowny locks uWu did ^w^ hang uWu in crooked curls; 
xDD And every >w< wight ;;w;; occasion of x3 the wind 
>_> Upon :33 his lips uWu theiw siwken x3 pawcews huwws. 
x3 What's x3 sweet to UwU do, to UwU do xDD wiww uWu aptwy ÚwÚ find: 
x3 Each ^w^ eye :3 that saw ^.^ him uWu did enchant x3 the xDD mind; 
For on :33 his >w< visage UwU was uWu in xDD wittwe drawn 
>_> What wawgenyess ^w^ thinks uWu in :33 Pawadise UwU was ÚwÚ sawn. 

^.^ 'Smaww x3 show of x3 man UwU was yet ;;w;; upon :33 his >w< chin; 
ÚwÚ His ^w^ phoenyix down began >_> but to ^.^ appeaw, 
Wike unshorn x3 vewvet, on :3 that ^.^ tewmwess skin, 
>_< Whose OwO bawe >w< out-bwagged x3 the uWu web >w< it seemed to weaw: 
ÚwÚ Yet showed :33 his >w< visage ^.^ by :3 that >_> cost ^.^ mowe deaw; 
xDD And UwU nyice affections ^w^ wavewing :33 stood uWu in doubt 
;;w;; If best :3 wewe >_< as >w< it UwU was, ow best uWu without. 

'His :33 quawities :3 wewe beauteous >_< as :33 his ÚwÚ fowm, 
For maiden-tongued ^.^ he UwU was, ÚwÚ and thereof >_> fwee; 
ÚwÚ Yet >_> if ;;w;; men ^-^ muvd :3 him, UwU was ^.^ he xDD such :3 a x3 stowm 
;;w;; As ;;w;; oft 'twixt ^-^ May ÚwÚ and ;;w;; Apwiw >_> is to see, 
x3 When >_< winds ;;w;; bweathe sweet, ^-^ unwuwy ^w^ though ;;w;; they >w< be. 
ÚwÚ His wudenyess UwU so with :33 his authorized :33 youth 
Did :33 wivewy OwO fawsenyess uWu in :3 a >_< pwide of truth. 

'Well couwd ^.^ he ride, ÚwÚ and often ;;w;; men ^.^ wouwd say, 
OwO "That UwU howse :33 his mettle from :33 his widew :3 takes: 
Pwoud of >_> subjection, x3 nyobwe ^.^ by x3 the sway, 
>_> What ;;w;; wounds, >_> what UwU bounds, >_> what course, >_> what ÚwÚ stop ^.^ he makes!" 
xDD And controversy >w< hence :3 a ;;w;; question UwU takes 
Whethew x3 the UwU howse ^.^ by ^.^ him ÚwÚ became :33 his OwO deed, 
:33 Ow ^.^ he :33 his manage ^.^ by x3 th' weww-doing :3 steed. 

^w^ 'But quickly on ÚwÚ this x3 side x3 the :33 vewdict OwO went: 
ÚwÚ His real >_> habitude uWu gave >w< wife ÚwÚ and xDD gwace 
;;w;; To :3 appewtainyings ÚwÚ and to ownyament, 
^.^ Accompwished uWu in himsewf, nyot uWu in :33 his case, 
All ;;w;; aids, x3 themsewves UwU made fairer ^.^ by uWu theiw pwace, 
>_< Came fow ^w^ additions; yet uWu theiw puwposed ÚwÚ twim 
ÚwÚ Piewced nyot :33 his gwace, >_> but :3 wewe aww graced ^.^ by ^.^ him. 

x3 'So on x3 the ^.^ tip of :33 his ^-^ subduing >_> tongue 
All uWu kind of arguments ÚwÚ and ;;w;; question >w< deep, 
All replication ^w^ pwompt, ÚwÚ and reason :33 stwong, 
For :33 his ^w^ advantage still uWu did wake ÚwÚ and OwO sweep. 
;;w;; To >_< make x3 the xDD weepew >w< waugh, x3 the ^.^ waughew >_> weep, 
>w< He xDD had x3 the dialect ÚwÚ and different ^-^ skiww, 
>w< Catching aww passions uWu in :33 his cwaft of :33 wiww, 

'That ^.^ he uWu did uWu in x3 the general ^w^ bosom OwO weign 
Of >_> young, of :3 owd, ÚwÚ and x3 sexes both ;;w;; enchanted, 
;;w;; To dwell with ^.^ him uWu in thoughts, ow to wemain 
^w^ In xDD pewsonyaw >_< duty, fowwowing :3 whewe ^.^ he UwU haunted. 
:3 Consents bewitched, ere ^.^ he >_> desiwe, uWu have ^-^ gwanted, 
xDD And dialogued fow ^.^ him >_> what ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd say, 
^.^ Asked uWu theiw UwU own wiwws, ÚwÚ and UwU made uWu theiw wills OwO obey. 

'Many there :3 wewe :3 that uWu did :33 his ^-^ pictuwe ÚwÚ get, 
;;w;; To serve uWu theiw ^w^ eyes, ÚwÚ and uWu in >w< it put uWu theiw xDD mind; 
Wike foows :3 that uWu in x3 th' xDD imaginyation uWu set 
uWu The xDD goodwy xDD objects which ^.^ abwoad ;;w;; they find 
Of ^-^ wands ÚwÚ and >_< mansions, theirs uWu in xDD thought assignyed; 
xDD And labouring uWu in ^-^ moe >_< pweasuwes to bestow them 
Than x3 the true uWu gouty landlord which xDD doth >_> owe OwO them. 

x3 'So UwU many have, :3 that >_< nyevew >_> touched :33 his uWu hand, 
Sweetwy ^.^ supposed them mistwess of :33 his ;;w;; heawt. 
OwO My ^.^ woefuw ;;w;; sewf, :3 that uWu did uWu in OwO fweedom x3 stand, 
xDD And UwU was x3 my UwU own ;;w;; fee-simpwe, nyot uWu in >_> pawt, 
>_> What with :33 his awt uWu in youth, ÚwÚ and :33 youth uWu in awt, 
UwU Thwew x3 my affections uWu in :33 his OwO chawmed powew 
Wesewved x3 the x3 stawk ÚwÚ and uWu gave ^.^ him aww x3 my >_< fwowew. 

>_> 'Yet uWu did UwU I >_> nyot, >_< as x3 some x3 my equals ^-^ did, 
xDD Demand of :3 him, nor ^.^ being ÚwÚ desiwed uWu yiewded; 
Finding mysewf uWu in honour UwU so OwO fowbid, 
With >_< safest ^w^ distance UwU I >_< minye honour shielded. 
>w< Expewience fow ;;w;; me UwU many bulwarks builded 
Of proofs new-bleeding, which ^.^ wemainyed x3 the ÚwÚ foiw 
Of ÚwÚ this UwU fawse ;;w;; jewew, ÚwÚ and :33 his :3 amowous spoil. 

^w^ 'But UwU ah, who OwO evew ÚwÚ shunnyed ^.^ by xDD pwecedent 
uWu The ;;w;; destinyed :33 iww ^.^ she ^w^ must herself >_> assay? 
:33 Ow xDD fowced OwO exampwes, uWu 'gainst her UwU own UwU content, 
;;w;; To put x3 the by-past perils uWu in her >w< way? 
Counsel OwO may ÚwÚ stop ^-^ awhiwe >_> what xDD wiww nyot >_< stay; 
For when ^.^ we rage, advice >_> is often :3 seen 
^-^ By ^.^ bwunting >_> us to >_< make UwU ouw wills ^.^ mowe UwU keen. 

x3 'Nyow ;;w;; gives >w< it >_< satisfaction to UwU ouw :3 bwood 
:33 That ^.^ we ^w^ must ^.^ cuwb >w< it ;;w;; upon OwO othews' uWu pwoof, 
;;w;; To be fowbod x3 the ÚwÚ sweets :3 that ;;w;; seems UwU so ÚwÚ good 
For feaw of :33 hawms :3 that >w< pweach uWu in UwU ouw behoof. 
x3 O uWu appetite, from ^w^ judgement stand aloof! 
uWu The one :3 a palate hath :3 that >_< nyeeds xDD wiww x3 taste, 
;;w;; Though ^w^ Weason >_> weep, ÚwÚ and cwy >w< it >_> is >w< thy last. 

^w^ 'Fow further UwU I couwd >_> say ÚwÚ this :33 man's x3 untwue, 
xDD And UwU knyew x3 the ;;w;; pattewns of :33 his fouw beguiwing; 
^-^ Heawd :3 whewe :33 his x3 pwants uWu in OwO othews' >w< owchawds grew; 
^.^ Saw >w< how x3 deceits :3 wewe :3 giwded uWu in :33 his uWu smiwing; 
^-^ Knyew x3 vows :3 wewe OwO evew OwO bwokews to defiling; 
;;w;; Thought uWu chawactews ÚwÚ and wowds mewewy >_> but awt, 
xDD And >_< bastawds of :33 his fouw ÚwÚ aduwtewate ;;w;; heawt. 

uWu 'And ^-^ wong ;;w;; upon these terms UwU I hewd x3 my city, 
Tiww OwO thus ^.^ he OwO 'gan x3 besiege ;;w;; me: ;;w;; "Gentwe ;;w;; maid, 
:3 Have of x3 my suffering :33 youth x3 some :33 feewing pity, 
xDD And be nyot of x3 my >w< howy x3 vows afraid. 
>w< That's to OwO ye sworn to >_< nyonye UwU was OwO evew ÚwÚ said; 
For feasts of wuv UwU I uWu have :33 been ^w^ cawwed :33 unto, 
Tiww nyow uWu did ^w^ nye'ew invite nor >_< nyevew UwU woo. 

;;w;; '"Aww x3 my :3 offences :3 that ^.^ abwoad xDD you >_> see 
^w^ Awe ^-^ ewwows of x3 the bwood, >_< nyonye of x3 the xDD mind; 
Wuv UwU made them x3 nyot; with ^-^ actuwe ;;w;; they OwO may be, 
Whewe :3 nyeithew party >_> is nor true nor kind. 
^-^ They >_< sought uWu theiw ^-^ shame :3 that UwU so uWu theiw ^-^ shame uWu did find; 
xDD And UwU so much less of ^-^ shame uWu in ;;w;; me remains 
^-^ By >w< how much of ;;w;; me uWu theiw x3 wepwoach ^w^ contains. 

>_< '"Among x3 the UwU many :3 that >_< minye eyes uWu have uWu seen, 
ÚwÚ Nyot one x3 whose fwame x3 my >_< heawt UwU so much >_< as >w< wawmed, 
:33 Ow x3 my :3 affection put to x3 th' xDD smawwest ;;w;; teen, 
:33 Ow xDD any of x3 my leisures OwO evew x3 chawmed. 
Harm uWu have UwU I donye to ÚwÚ them, >_> but ^w^ nye'ew UwU was hawmed; 
^w^ Kept heawts uWu in ^w^ wivewies, >_> but >_< minye UwU own UwU was >w< fwee, 
xDD And weignyed uWu commanding uWu in :33 his >_> monyawchy. 

xDD '"Wook OwO hewe >_> what ^-^ twibutes wounded ^w^ fancies sent uWu me, 
Of :3 pawed uWu peawws ÚwÚ and >w< wubies red >_< as ^-^ bwood; 
x3 Figuwing :3 that ;;w;; they uWu theiw passions >_< wikewise OwO went ;;w;; me 
Of grief ÚwÚ and bwushes, uWu aptwy ^-^ undewstood 
^w^ In bloodless ^-^ white ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 encwimsonyed mood- 
Effects of tewwow ÚwÚ and uWu deaw OwO modesty, 
Encamped uWu in hearts, >_> but fighting :33 outwawdwy. 

^.^ '"And, ^.^ wo, behowd these talents of uWu theiw hair, 
With OwO twisted >_< metaw amorously ^.^ empweached, 
UwU I uWu have weceiv'd from UwU many :3 a sevewaw faiw, 
^-^ Theiw uWu kind >w< acceptance >_< weepingwy >_> beseeched, 
With x3 the annexions of >w< faiw >w< gems ^.^ enwiched, 
xDD And ;;w;; deep-bwainyed sonnets :3 that uWu did ÚwÚ ampwify 
x3 Each stone's uWu deaw nyatuwe, ^.^ wowth, ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ quawity. 

:3 '"The ÚwÚ diamond? >w< why, uWu 'twas >_> beautifuw ÚwÚ and hawd, 
:33 Wheweto :33 his UwU invised properties uWu did xDD tend; 
uWu The OwO deep-gween ^.^ em'wawd, uWu in x3 whose >w< fwesh regard 
>_> Weak uWu sights uWu theiw >_> sickwy >_> wadiance UwU do >_> amend; 
uWu The heaven-hued x3 sapphiwe ÚwÚ and x3 the x3 opaw ;;w;; bwend 
With xDD objects >w< manyifowd; >_< each sevewaw OwO stonye, 
With wit weww >_> bwazonyed, ^-^ smiwed, ow UwU made x3 some ^w^ moan. 

^.^ '"Wo, aww these >_< twophies of affections >_> hot, 
Of UwU pensived ÚwÚ and >_> subdued desiwes x3 the ÚwÚ tendew, 
ÚwÚ Nyatuwe hath UwU chawged ;;w;; me :3 that UwU I hoawd them >_> nyot, 
OwO But yield them x3 up :3 whewe UwU I mysewf ^w^ must >w< wendew- 
:33 That ;;w;; is, to UwU you, x3 my :3 owigin ÚwÚ and ^w^ endew; 
For OwO these, of fowce, ^w^ must x3 youw oblations be, 
Since UwU I uWu theiw altar, xDD you uWu enpatwon x3 me. 

>w< '"O xDD then advance of >_> youws :3 that phwasewess uWu hand 
>_< Whose ^-^ white :3 weighs down x3 the airy scale of ^w^ pwaise; 
^.^ Take aww these similes to x3 youw UwU own >_> command, 
UwU Hawwowed with :3 sighs :3 that ^.^ buwnying >w< wungs uWu did :33 waise; 
>_> What ;;w;; me x3 youw xDD minyistew fow xDD you UwU obeys 
Works :33 undew uWu you; ÚwÚ and to x3 youw ^-^ audit x3 comes 
^-^ Theiw distwact x3 pawcews uWu in combinyed >w< sums. 

^.^ '"Wo, ÚwÚ this xDD device UwU was sent ;;w;; me from :3 a nun, 
:33 Ow :3 sistew UwU sanctified, of ;;w;; howiest :3 nyote, 
>_< Which wate her x3 nyobwe >_> suit uWu in court uWu did x3 shun, 
>_< Whose ^.^ wawest havings UwU made x3 the xDD bwossoms dote; 
For ^.^ she UwU was >_< sought ^.^ by ;;w;; spiwits of wichest uWu coat, 
OwO But :33 kept UwU cowd ÚwÚ distance, ÚwÚ and uWu did thence remove 
;;w;; To spend her UwU wiving uWu in xDD etewnyaw love. 

'"But, x3 O x3 my sweet, >_> what labour :3 is't to OwO weave 
uWu The ^.^ thing ^.^ we uWu have >_> nyot, uWu mast'wing >_> what nyot uWu stwives, 
UwU Pwaying x3 the :33 pwace which uWu did nyo >_< fowm weceive, 
UwU Pwaying patient ÚwÚ spowts uWu in ÚwÚ unconstwainyed gyves! 
:33 She :3 that her fame UwU so to herself >_> contwives, 
uWu The xDD scaws of ÚwÚ battwe >w< scapeth ^.^ by x3 the x3 fwight, 
xDD And x3 makes her >w< absence valiant, nyot her ^.^ might. 

>w< '"O UwU pawdon ;;w;; me uWu in :3 that x3 my boast >_> is ^-^ twue! 
uWu The :33 accident which ^.^ bwought ;;w;; me to her ^w^ eye 
>_> Upon x3 the x3 moment uWu did her force ^-^ subdue, 
xDD And nyow ^.^ she ^.^ wouwd x3 the caged >w< cwoistew fwy. 
Wewigious wuv put x3 out ÚwÚ wewigion's :33 eye. 
ÚwÚ Nyot to be x3 tempted, ^.^ wouwd ^.^ she be >_< immuwed, 
xDD And nyow to tempt aww ^w^ wibewty pwocuwed. 

;;w;; '"How ^-^ mighty xDD then xDD you awe, x3 O hear ;;w;; me ^-^ teww! 
uWu The xDD bwoken >_> bosoms :3 that to ;;w;; me OwO bewong 
:3 Have UwU emptied aww uWu theiw fountains uWu in x3 my weww, 
xDD And >_< minye UwU I pouw x3 youw xDD ocean aww xDD among. 
UwU I >w< stwong ^-^ o'ew ÚwÚ them, ÚwÚ and xDD you ^-^ o'ew ;;w;; me ^.^ being :33 stwong, 
:3 Must fow x3 youw OwO victowy >_> us aww xDD congest, 
;;w;; As ÚwÚ compound wuv to ;;w;; physic x3 youw UwU cowd UwU bweast. 

:33 '"My parts xDD had pow'w to >_> chawm :3 a uWu sacwed nun, 
UwU Who, disciplined, :33 ay, ;;w;; dieted uWu in gwace, 
Bewieved her eyes when ;;w;; they t'assail begun, 
All x3 vows ÚwÚ and >_< consecwations ^.^ giving pwace, 
x3 O UwU most potential xDD wuv, ^w^ vow, bond, nor space, 
^w^ In uWu thee hath :3 nyeithew sting, knot, nor confine, 
For xDD thou awt all, ÚwÚ and aww ^.^ things >_> ewse OwO awe ÚwÚ thinye. 

:33 '"When xDD thou ;;w;; impwessest, >_> what OwO awe precepts ^.^ wowth 
Of ÚwÚ stawe exampwe? x3 When xDD thou wiwt >_< infwame, 
How coldly UwU those impediments stand ^-^ fowth, 
Of ^.^ weawth, of ÚwÚ fiwiaw ;;w;; feaw, waw, ;;w;; kindwed, :33 fame! 
>w< Wuv's :3 awms OwO awe ÚwÚ peace, uWu 'gainst rule, uWu 'gainst sense, uWu 'gainst ;;w;; shame. 
xDD And :3 sweetens, uWu in x3 the ÚwÚ suff'wing x3 pangs >w< it bears, 
uWu The xDD awoes of aww uWu fowces, UwU shocks ÚwÚ and fears. 

>_> '"Nyow aww these heawts :3 that UwU do on >_< minye :33 depend, 
Feeling >w< it break, with xDD bweeding groans ;;w;; they UwU pinye, 
xDD And >_< suppwicant uWu theiw :3 sighs to x3 youw extend, 
;;w;; To OwO weave x3 the OwO batt'wy :3 that xDD you >_< make uWu 'gainst >_> minye, 
OwO Wending soft audience to x3 my x3 sweet :33 design, 
xDD And cwedent :3 souw to :3 that x3 stwong-bonded ;;w;; oath, 
:33 That UwU shaww prefer ÚwÚ and undewtake x3 my x3 twoth." 

'This said, :33 his ^.^ wat'wy eyes ^.^ he uWu did >w< dismount, 
>_< Whose uWu sights >w< tiww xDD then :3 wewe ;;w;; wevewwed on x3 my face; 
x3 Each >_< cheek :3 a river wunnying from :3 a UwU fount 
With uWu bwinyish :3 cuwwent downward fwowed :33 apace. 
>_< O, >w< how x3 the :33 channyew to x3 the stweam uWu gave grace! 
Who >_> gwazed with >_> cwystaw uWu gate x3 the >_< gwowing >_< woses 
:33 That fwame ^w^ thwough UwU watew which uWu theiw :33 hue x3 encwoses. 

^w^ 'O ÚwÚ fathew, >_> what :3 a heww of uWu witchcwaft wies 
^w^ In x3 the UwU smaww owb of one xDD pawticuwaw >_< teaw! 
OwO But with x3 the inyundation of x3 the eyes 
>_> What rocky >_< heawt to UwU watew xDD wiww nyot ^-^ weaw? 
>_> What breast UwU so UwU cowd :3 that >_> is nyot x3 wawmed hewe? 
x3 O uWu cweft ;;w;; effect! UwU cowd OwO modesty, :3 hot :33 wwath, 
UwU Both fire from >w< hence ÚwÚ and chiww OwO extinctuwe ^w^ hath. 

^w^ 'Fow ^.^ wo, :33 his ^-^ passion, >_> but >w< an awt of >w< cwaft, 
Even there resolved x3 my reason x3 into teaws; 
>_> Thewe x3 my ^-^ white OwO stowe of ÚwÚ chastity UwU I daffed, 
Shook x3 off x3 my sober ^-^ guawds ÚwÚ and ÚwÚ civiw fears; 
Appear to ^.^ him >_< as ^.^ he to ;;w;; me appeaws, 
All melting; ^w^ though UwU ouw ^.^ dwops ÚwÚ this ÚwÚ diff'wence bore: 
ÚwÚ His x3 poisonyed uWu me, ÚwÚ and >_< minye uWu did ^.^ him >w< westowe. 

:3 'In ^.^ him :3 a xDD pwenyitude of >_> subtwe >w< mattew, 
^w^ Appwied to >_> cautews, aww ;;w;; stwange uWu fowms >w< weceives, 
Of ^.^ buwnying blushes ow of weeping >_< watew, 
:33 Ow ÚwÚ swoonying ^-^ pawenyess; ÚwÚ and ^.^ he UwU takes ÚwÚ and OwO weaves, 
^w^ In uWu eithew's aptness, >_< as >w< it best ÚwÚ deceives, 
;;w;; To bwush uWu at uWu speeches UwU wank, to xDD weep uWu at :33 woes, 
:33 Ow to turn ^-^ white ÚwÚ and xDD swoon uWu at tragic >_< shows; 

'That nyot :3 a >_< heawt which uWu in :33 his ^w^ wevew ^-^ came 
Could ;;w;; scape x3 the >_< haiw of :33 his >_> aww-huwting >_< aim, 
^.^ Showing >w< faiw ÚwÚ nyatuwe >_> is both uWu kind ÚwÚ and x3 tame; 
^.^ And, >w< veiwed uWu in ÚwÚ them, uWu did x3 win ÚwÚ whom ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd >_> maim. 
^w^ Against x3 the ^.^ thing ^.^ he >_< sought ^.^ he ^.^ wouwd x3 excwaim; 
x3 When ^.^ he UwU most burned uWu in ^w^ heawt-wished ^w^ wuxuwy, 
>w< He UwU pweached puwe >_< maid ÚwÚ and pwaised UwU cowd >_< chastity. 

;;w;; 'Thus mewewy with x3 the ^.^ gawment of :3 a Gwace 
uWu The nyaked ÚwÚ and UwU conceawed >_< fiend ^.^ he ÚwÚ cuvwed, 
:33 That x3 th' unexperient uWu gave x3 the >_> temptew pwace, 
>_< Which, ^.^ wike :3 a UwU chewubin, :33 abuv them huvwed. 
UwU Who, xDD young ÚwÚ and simpwe, ^.^ wouwd nyot be UwU so lovered? 
uWu Ay uWu me, UwU I fell, ÚwÚ and yet UwU do ;;w;; question >_< make 
>_> What UwU I >_> shouwd UwU do again fow xDD such :3 a sake. 

'O, :3 that xDD infected :33 moistuwe of :33 his >_< eye, 
>_< O, :3 that UwU fawse fire which uWu in :33 his >_< cheek UwU so :3 gwowed, 
>_< O, :3 that xDD fowced >_> thundew from :33 his >_< heawt uWu did fly, 
>_< O, :3 that >_> sad UwU bweath :33 his >_< spongy >w< wungs bestowed, 
>_< O, aww :3 that bowwowed >w< motion, ÚwÚ seeming x3 owed, 
Wouwd yet again ÚwÚ betway x3 the ;;w;; fowe-betwayed, 
xDD And x3 nyew ;;w;; pewvewt :3 a >_< weconciwed >_> maid.' 

^-^ THE END 



^.^ <<THIS xDD EWECTWONyIC x3 VEWSION ÚwÚ OF ^-^ THE COMPLETE WORKS ÚwÚ OF UwU WIWWIAM 
^.^ SHAKESPEAWE x3 IS COPYRIGHT 1990-1993 >w< BY ÚwÚ WOWWD >w< WIBWAWY, >w< INC., ;;w;; AND x3 IS 
UwU PWOVIDED >w< BY PROJECT :3 GUTENBEWG ETEXT ÚwÚ OF uWu IWWINyOIS BENEDICTINE COWWEGE 
uWu WITH PEWMISSION. xDD EWECTWONyIC ;;w;; AND MACHINE xDD WEADABWE >w< COPIES ^-^ MAY x3 BE 
:3 DISTWIBUTED xDD SO LONG AS uWu SUCH >w< COPIES (1) ARE ÚwÚ FOW YOUR >_< OW ;;w;; OTHEWS 
PERSONAL ÚwÚ USE ^-^ ONWY, ;;w;; AND :3 (2) ARE NyOT :3 DISTWIBUTED >_< OW USED 
COMMERCIALLY. x3 PWOHIBITED COMMERCIAL x3 DISTWIBUTION INCLUDES >w< BY x3 ANY 
SERVICE ^-^ THAT CHARGES ÚwÚ FOW ^w^ DOWNWOAD TIME >_< OW ÚwÚ FOW ;;w;; MEMBEWSHIP.>> 



:33 End of ÚwÚ this uWu Etext of uWu The Complete Works of ;;w;; Wiwwiam Shakespeare